Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1867-01-04


When Is the best time tn read tho
| the leaves.
Stupid people may cat, but shouldn's
! talk. Their mouths will do we'll
enough rs banks of deposit, but not Of
issuc.
| A couple were married al ~. stephen,
/ y. H., recently, the bridegroom hailins
from Eden, tho bride from Canaan.
Probably they win live in Paradise.
If you crack rough jokes at other peo-
pes expense, you may ges your head
cracked ut your own.
! No mau ever professcd 10 condemns
! women till ho WAS conscious OF their
contempt. ""t
Politicians by trade shouid be confin-
Cd 10 unscasoned food, for they don't
! earn their salt.
Why is a newspaper like wife? Be
cause every man onght to have one Of
his own. ...
! Why is an unservicahlc gun like m
! ofilce-ll0lder? b ,cau-o il kicks mi yhti-
/ ly when it is discharged! ..,..0.,...
lie IL fool who inagines that tho
chief power of wealth Is to supply
wants. III NINETY nina cases out Of II
/ hundred ii creates moro wants than it
supplies. .-. .s Iu aa.'"'rF3
/ \ DutcIman, few days ago, picked
fup 81 bound volume OF documents. on
tho back OF which was stamped, Pub.
! Docs - - goot," said he, vat kind
of books will they brint next? AsI
Itf here ish one on Pup toys" 80
I Good spirits are often taIicn Tor good
| nature, yet nothing differs so much, in
seushiIly being generally the sourc-
OF the former, and sensibility Of tho
: latter. .... ...
A steam ti~e.pump squirtcd three
hundred and tiity feet at a public trial
/ Ia New York, Satarday..-Ec.
! An abbreviated soldier joker Of our
acquaintance wonders IL somo smart
chap couldn't invent an improvements
ON the pump go that IL would squirs
three hundred and ifty t90OtteH teys.--.
Dc FH DbscTr6r. ......
Mrs. pnrtington is said TO have anx-
ilnusly asked if Uncle Tom is u better
man than Enoch Of Biblical memory.
She grounds her reasons for making
this inquiry upon the tuet that Uncle
! Tom has been translated seven times,
while Enoeh was translated bat once.
There is nothing on, earth SO bcaut.-
ful as tho household on which Christian
love forever smiles, nud whore religion
walks, u eotinseli0r and nfFicnd. No
cloud can darkcu il, for its twin stars
are ceHteged in the soul. No siorms
can make il tremble, for it has u hcav-
: cnly support and u heavenly anchor.
, The crazy l.ubitatiOn OF tho body
will decay; you may repair the broken
tiles and damaged ROOT; you may rub
up the dim window lights, and oil che
rusty hinges Of tho doors; sou may
pitch up aud plaster over the shattered
walls and paint the outside Of tho ten
/ emcnt till the passersby wonders mt its
! fresh appearance but for all this, the
old house must come down at last !uEs.
| FEMALE sACrEvtrY.. An Ingenious
French uriGhuptieiNu has calculated
that the space which Il yonng Parisian
belle, who Is fond OF the saitatory cxcr.
else OF dancing, traver3es in The gny
tsutoHs OF Paris, amounts, in the coagae
! 0f one dancing season, 10 lour hu4lret
and thirty four miles and u half! Ho
( has also estimated that IL French lady
/ fond of performing the filnclions Of u
tee.La.tum, viii spin roand in the tp0,ta
in one night, as many times as, tho
wheels OF a steamboat reVolve while
! running the distance between Dover
and Calais! ..EsHs PIG
Z IL an Episcopal church in the north
OF Scotland, porter employed at ii .