The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1867-03-11

children, you do; complaining, and turning
your nose up at a sweet piece OF cold mutton
because there's no pudding You go a nice
way to make EN- eXtravagant EN- nice
lessons to begin the world with. Do you
know what puddings cost; or do you think
they fly in at the window
''You hate cold mutton. The more shame
for you, Mr.. Caudle. Pm sure you've the
stomach of lord you have. No sir; didn't
choose to hash the mutton. It's veiy easy for
you to say hash it; but know what a Joint
loses in hashing: it's days dinner the less, if
it's bit. Yes, dare say; other people may
have puddings with cold mutton No doubt
of 1t; and other people become bankrupts
But if ever you get into the Gazette, 1t
sha'n't be ma fault--no; I'll do my duty as a
wife to you, Mr.. Caudle: you shall never have
it to say that it was my housekeeping that
brought you to beggary. No; you may sulk
at the cold meat--ha hope you'll never live
to want such a piece of cold mutton as we had
to-day and you may threaten to go to tavern
to dine; but with our present means, not
crumb of pudding do you get from me. You
shall have nothing but the cold jOint-nOthing,
as Pm Christian sinner.
eyes: there you are, throwing those fowls
in my face again know you once brought
home pair of fowls; ! know it: and wern't
you mean enough to want to stop 'em out of
shabbiness of men They can go out and
throw away pounds upon pounds with pack
of people who laugh at 'em afterwards; but If
it's anything wanted for their own homes,
their poor wives may hunt for it. | wonder
you don't blush to name those fowls againl
| would't be so little for the world, Mr..
Caudle!
"What are you going to do? Going to get
up? Don't make yourself ridiculous, Mr..
Ca11d1n, I oon't yUord IN 1ilra
other wife, but you must threaten to get up.
DO be ashamed Of yourself
"Puddings, indeed Do you think Pm made
of puddings Didn't you have some boiled
rice three weeks ago? Besides, is this the
time of the year for puddings? It's all very
well if had money enough allowed me like
any other wife to keep the house with: then,
indeed, / might have preserves like any other
woman; now it's impossible; and it's cruel
yes, Mr.. Caudle, cruel-of you to expect it.
"APpleS a'r'nt so dear, are they? l know what
apples are, Mr.. Caudle, without your telling
me. But suppose you want something more
than apples for dumplngs2 | suppose sugar
costs something, doesn't it And that's how
it is. That's how one expense brings on
another, and that's how people go to ruin.
"PdHcateS? What the use of your lying
muttering there about pancakes Don't you
always have 'em once year-every Shrove
Tuesday? And what would any moderate,
decent man, want more?
Pancakes, indeed! Pray, Mr.. Caudle-no,
it's no use your saying fine words to me to
let you 90 to sleep; l sha'n't pray do you
know the price of eggs just now? There's not
an egg you can trust to under seven and eight
a shilling; well, you've only just to reckon up
how many eggs-don't lie swearing there at
the eggs, in that manner Mr.. Caudle; unless
you expect the bed to let you fall through.
You call yourself respectable tradesman, |
suppose? Ha only wish people knew you
as well as l do Swearing at eggs, indeed
But Pm tired of this usage, Mr.. Caudle; quite
tired of it; and l don't care how soon it is
ended
'I'm sure do nothing but work and labor
and think how to make the most ofeverything
and this is how Pm rewarded. | should like
to see any body whose joints go further than
mine. But if was to throw away your money
in the street, or lay it out in fine feathers on
myself, should be better thought of. The
woman who studies her husband and her
family is always made drudge of. It's your
fine fal-lal wives who've the best time of it.
"What's the use of your lying groaning
there in that manner! That won't make me
hold my tongue, can tell you. You think to
have it all your own way-but you won't, Mr..
Caudle You can insult my dinner; look like
a demon, may say, at wholesome piece Of
cold mutton-ah the thousands of far better
creatures than you are who'd be thankful Tor
that mutton and Pm never to speak But
you're mistaken-I will Your usage of me,
Mr.. Caudle, is infamous-unwOrthy of a man.
only wish people knew you for what you are;
but I've told you again and again they shall
some day.
"Puddings And now l suppose l shall
hear of nothing but puddings Yes, and l
know what it would end in. First, you'd have
pudding every day;-Oh, l know your ex-
travagance-then you'd go for fsh-then
shouldn't wonder if you'd have soup; turtle
no doubt: then you'd go for a dessert; and
oh see it all as plain as the quilt before me
but no, not while Pm alive What your
second wife may do, | don't know; perhaps
she'll be a fine lady; but you sha'n't be ruined
| by me, Mr., Caudle; that Pm determined. Pud-
dings indeed Pu-dding-s! Pudd"-
"EXhausted nature" says Caudle, "could
hold out no longer. She went to sleep"
Mrs Caudles Curtain Lectures qOiU be continued
daily, i's The ECent'lg Telegraph, until COM
o,Iofo