Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1867-09-03
OUR BIG SHOW.

49,
determined to give, for this week at least,
dramatic caste to our great "immOral show"
Dramatic writing is not our style, bat by dint
of perseverance,, and occasional reference
to Shakespeare and other acknowledged au.
thorities, We have produced a short drama en-.
titled the "Way we do it," in which are in
troduced prominent characters, who will be
readily recognized as chief among the au-
thOrs of human misery in West Virginia.
The piece opens, as will DO perceived, with
melancholy sOliloquy, by a distinguished Sen.
ator, whose services to his party have placed
him on the top round of the ladder of radi-
calism. He is responded to by an individual
who unhappily holds and unwOrthiIy fills the
Executive chair of the State, and who is fer
tile in wicked suggestions for the continued
predominance of radical rule. With this
brief introduction of characters, we proceed
to the pieee:-
"THB WAY WE DO 1TP
DRAMA.
couST JOsEPHUs-G SOii!Oquy.l
The times are most poTtentous-
I snuff the gathering storm,
II betOkens tempest in a tea pot.
The 9ky oil late SO clear
Hath a look of gloon upon it!
The times are big with tate.
All, me Congress ha taxed our whiskey,
The glory Of my house hangs trembling in the
What though with truculent knee and Iawning
I've swallowed whole hogs heads of the inspiring
esprit"
Twas cheap then-no tax! Alb me!
But twas not because loved it that drank It,
But drinking in bumpers to some greater mag
Thuscringing, win his favor
After all this labor of thousand lies,
To see the fabric Ihave reared,
With much nice trickery Of the wires,
Vanish with one fell breath,
And all my future aspirations flee
My curse rest upon all men who dare to dfer with
They know too much about me,
And they build 80 hot a fire, my srew's aburuing.
But bold! bright thOughtstr me!
III to Duke Arthur whit.
Something must DO did Something must be did!
(LAPsE OF TWO DAYs)
scEwE-Executve Mansion.
COrST JosEPHUs ARRIvEs.
DUKE ARrHUR-
Good mOrniu g, my good Sir Count
Why that look OF narrowing care upon thy brow,
Nothing amiss, hope.
They gOit blind! wherefore, then, care we.
So long as they yet bleed, and draw their purse
stTinss:
Our highest wish meet!
Ha ha what fools this soealIed patriotic public,
To think we care whit about them;
IT'S but az dry and stenchy carcass,
Till money gives it life and al animation.
We gull our followers, il Wc but ops our mouths;
But then we're not unit!
All great men sometimes differ.
And some there are who know too much about US
And much, fear, would make use of their knOWl-
really Believe these fools are not quite satisfied.
But never mind!
IftheY should perchance think for themselves,
Well cry them rebel! That .akes,
And what is better yet, it pays for our side.
Fork out the means to kill them. aye!
Twas bright thought that gave US this famous
COUST JOsEPHUs-(Dejectedly)
Sotrue! so true!
feel most wOndrOus strange about my gizzard.
The writing on the wall!
Aud before my waking sight il floats,
And tells me must yield account Of my steward
ship.
This dare not dO-l'd rather flee to Kansas
Ensconced upon my dia phragm
II sits a fell incubus-like BanchOs ghost,
Though ordered hence by my mos. potent will,
The morel will, the less it willer, and fear
What do you fear?
Twill be just like tricky jackass;
Kick head and foot, and leave Ine in the miie.
DUKE ARTHUR
And leave all of the jackass but his cars,
CoUNr JosEPHus-
pray you sport not with my tender feelings.
Most wondrous strange, Sir Count!
Beshrew me, but you have feeling
Perhaps ~ hear yoTs11y you have conscience,
But, Sir Count, is this to be the end OF all hopes
Our splicing constitutions: and Of our
And such pet names, Of our vocabulary,
No longer answer?
III issue this, my Proclsma ton
Some other means must be found, no matter what.
But Count, your brait. Is fevered-
Hast had an eye-opener this morning:
Yes! a dozen strong and plain! and yet
The more drink, the worse the prospect grows.
(SlOwly and Tehectvely.)
Something must be did something must be did!
(with animation dances round the roonl
] have it now! have just the idea!
DUKE ARTHUR
Isira goOdOue?
As good as Wheat, my Lord!
DUKE ARTHUR
Certes hold it fast, there's danger in it;
And If it should fly off on a tangent,
1t might hit me; and then who knows the conse-
And if pom you. my dear Sir Count, it should
Egad! It might prove fatal.
r-,.-,. But proceed with all caution.
iEnLghten us-we would be dOubly sure
'Twere worth preserving.
COUNT JosEtHUs-
obey, most noble Duke
You know the law We made To test their loyalty,
Doth gran; you power to appoint to certain Offices
And with that power iudicious exercise
Our victory is assured.
DUKE ARTHUR
trOw, you tell me true
But then, have not oft with you counseIed,
And with your Ow-wOrkef, Count GeorGess
Aud did not, when you had searched
Your county DER for fitting tools,
To do our bidding, say aye, II should be so:
And issue this my proclamation to them,
Permissible of all rascaIity?
Have not changed your Board, whenever
They Could no longer stand the press,
Or felt one iwinge of conscience?
When our party was out voted.
Did not instruct interested parties
To throw enough away to make
Both Sheriff and Delegates, as you wished
What more Is wanted?
Thou art a most too deep for me,
Though could Ia HadeR And mt fear