Sugar planter. [volume] (West Baton Rouge [i.e. Port Allen, West Baton Rouge Parish, La.]) 1856-1925, 1867-03-30
BARNUM'S FIRST SPEECH IN CON.
GRESS.

yertising medium, in case he is elected to
Congress. He will certainly not forget
the high duties to Ills country devolvlng
upon him, and it will be a pity If he for
gets his private worldly affairs-a genu-
inc pity if his justly famed sagacity fails
TO point out to him how be can doTetall
business and patriotism together to the
mutual benefit Of himself and the great
republic. l am informed by the spirits
that bis frt speech in Congress will read
as follows:
"Mr. Speaker"-What do we do with
a diseased limb? Cut it off :! What do
we do with a diseased curiosity? Sell
him What do we do with any specula-
ton of any kind whatever that don't pay?
Get rid of it-get out Of it ! Of course
Simply because | have got the most su-
perb collection, of curiosities in the world
the grandest museum ever conceived OF
by man--containing the dwarf, elephant,
Jenny Lind, and the only living giraffe on
this continent, Chat noble brute which
sits upon his hams in an attitude at once
graceful and picturesque, and eats its
hay ont of the second story window, =
because | have got these things, and be-
cause admission is only thirty cents,
children and servants only half price,
open from sunrise till 10 P. NJ, peanuts
and all the other l~uxuries of the season
to be purchased il any part Of the house
the proprietor, at enormous expense,
having fitted up two peanut stands to
each natural curiosity-because have
got these things, shall | revel in luxurious
indolenc when my voice should sound a
warning to the natiou.2 No Because
the wonderful spotted human phenomenon
the leopard child from the wilds of Afri-
ca is mine, shall | exult ii my happiness
and be silent when my country's life is
threated !? No! Because the double
humpbacked Bactrain camel takes his
oats in my m%enagerie, shall | surfeit with
bliss and lift not up my voice TO save the
people No! Because among my pos
sessions are dead loads of rayal Bengal
tigers, Himalaya mountain bears, $50 in
teresting to Christian families from being
mentioned in the sacred Scriptures,) sill
ver-striped byenas, lions, tigers, leopards,
wolves, sacred cattle from the sacred bills
Of New Jersey, panthers ibexes, perform
ing mules and monkeys, South American,
deer, and so-fortb, and so-forth, and So
forth, 'seal' gloat over my blessings in
silence, and leave Columbia to perish P
No Because | have secured the cele-
brated Gordon Cumming collection, CON
sisting of oil portraits of the two ne
gress and a child who rescued him from
impending death, shall | wrap me in mute
ecstacy and let my country rush unwarn-
ed to her destruction Mol Because
unto mi belong the monster living alliga-
tor, over twelve feet in length, and four
speckled trout, weighing twenty pounds,
shall these lips sing songs of gladness
and peal no %succoring cry unto adoomed
nation !? mol Because | have got Mil
ler's grand national bronze portrait gal
lery, consisting of two plaster of Paris
Venuses and a. Vanished mud-turtle,
shall | bask in my own bliss and be mute
in the season of my peoples peril I? No!
Because | possess the smallest dwarfs in
the world, and the Nova Scotian g%iantess
who weighs a ton and eats her weight
every forty-eight hours and Herr Pheim
OFlannigan, the Norwegian giant, who
feeds on the dwarfs and ruins business :;
and the lovely Circassian girl !; and the
celebrated Happy Family, consisting Of
animals of the most diverse principles and
dispositions, dwelling together in peace
and unity, and never beheld by the re-
iigious spectator acquainted with Eden
before the fall, without emotions too pro-
found for u%tterance +; and 100000 other
curiosities, chiefly invisible to the naked
eye-all 70 be seen for the small sum Of
fifty cents, children and servants half
price-starcases. arranged with special
reference to limb dispIays-shall l hug
my happiness to my soul and fail to cry
aloud when behold my country sinking
ing to destruction and the grave No!
"a thousand times no
No Even as one sent to warn We of
fearful peril, | cry help +! help +! for the
stricken land appeal to you-and to
you-and toyou, sir-to every true heart
in this august menagerie | Demagogues
threaten the goddess Of liberty they
beard the stary-robed woman in her cita-
del and to you the bearded woman looks
for suceor Once more grim treason
towers in our midst, once more helpless
loyalty s~catters into corners as do the
dwarfs when the Norwegian giant strides
among them ! The law-making powers
and tho eyacutiva ; a. jacrors -n