The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1867-06-10

The Story of n Bad Little Boy who
DIdn't Come TO GrIeE.--The Respects
Wherein this Bad Boy Differed from
the Boys We Read About In the Sum
day School Books. l
BY MARK TWAIN.
Once there was bad little boy whose
name was Jim-though, If you will no.
tice, you will find that bad little boys
are nearly always called James in your
Sunday School books. 1t was very
strange, but still it was true that this
one was called Jim.
He didn't have any sick mother either
"a sick mother who was pious and Fad
the consumption, and would be glad to
lie down in the grave and be at rest but
for the strong love she bore her boy,
would be harsh and cold to him when
she was gone. Most bad boys in the
Sunday School books are named
James, and have sick mothers who
teach them to say, "Now I Law me
down." etc.. and sing them to sleep
with sweet plaintive voices, and then
kiss them good night, and kneel down
by the bedside and weep. But 1t was
different with this fellow. He was
named Jim, and there wasn't anything
the matter with his mother-no con-
She was rather stout than otherwise,
and she was not pious; moreover, she
was not anxious on Jim's account. She
said that If he were to break his neck,
1t wouldn't be much loss. She always
spanked him to sleep, and she never
kissed him good night; on the con-
trary, she boxed his ears when she was
ready TO leave him.
Once this little bad boy stole the key
OF the pantry and slipped in there and
helped himself to some jam, and filled
up the vessel with tar, SO that his moth
er would never know the difference;
but all at once terrible feeling didn't
come over him, and something didn't
seem to whisper to him, "Is 1t right to
do this? Where do bad little boys 90
10 who gobble up their good, kind
mothers jam ?" and then he didn't
kneel down all alone and promise new
er TO be wicked any more, and rise up
with light happy heart, and 90 and
tell his mother all abouti it, and beg for
gtyeness, and be blessed by her with
her tears Of pride and thankfulness in
her eyes. No; this Is the way with all
other bad boys in, the books, but it
happened Otherwise with this JIM,
strangely enough. He ate that lam, and
said that It was bully, in his sinful, and
vulgar way; and he put In the tar, and
said II was bully also, and laughed, and
observed that 1.-THE old woman would
get up a snort" when she found 1t out;
and when she did find 1t out, he denied
knowing anything about 1t, and she
whipped him severely, and he did the
crying himself. Everything about this
boy was -everthing turned out
differently with him from the way 1t
does to the bad James in these books.
Once he climbed up in Farmer
Acorn's apple-tree to steal apples, and
the limb didn't break, and he didn't
fall and break his arm, and get torn by
the farmers great dog, and then Ian
guish on sick bed for weeks, and
repent and become good. Oh, no; he
came down all right; and he was all
ready for the dog, too, and knocked
him endways with a rock when he came
to tear him. 1t was very strange
nothing like it ever happened in those
mild little books with marbled backs,
and with pictures in them ofmen with
swallow-tailed coats and bell-crowned
hats, and pantaloons that are short in
the legs, and women with the waists of
their dresses under their arms and no
hoops on. Nothing like it in any of
the SundRy-school books.
Once he stole the teachers penknife,
and when he was afraid It would be
found out, and he would get whipped
he slipped il into George Wilson's cap
poor Widow Wilson'S son, the moral
boy, the good little boy Of the village,
who always obeyed his mother, and
never told an untruth, and was fond of
his lessons, and infatuated with Sun
day-school. And when the knife drop
ped from the cap, and poor George hung
his head and bIushed, as If In con-
scious guilt, and the grieved teach
er charged the then upon him, and was
just In the very act of. bringing the
switch down upon his trembling shoul-
dsrs, n white-hRired, improbable JUS