Clarksville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1865-1867, 1867-07-05

ing the captain, during a storm, or
der the mate to "haul down the
sh Gets |" -... --.......-.-----..
At Gibraltar, there being great
scarcity of water, an Irish officer
said, che was easy about the matter,
for he had nothing to dc with water;
if he only got his tea in the morning,
and punch at night, it was all that he
wanted moo gv4 rr -t
The following appeared some time
ago upon the house of a negro in
Philadelphia; "Peter Brown, porter
and waiter.-N. b. Attends to flu
nerals, dinner parties, and other
practical occasions"
"Wcll, wasn't that finished SER
mon we had this morning2" asked
one person of another, as they came
out Of church.
"Finished," was the reply, "yes. it
was finished at last, although l began
to think it never would be.
III wonder" said Scotch maiden,
what my brother John sees in the
lasses that he likes sac weel. For
my part | wad nae gle the company
O one lad for twenty lasses.'
ooh, pray let me have my way this
time" said a young gentleman to his
lady love. "Wcll, Willie, l suppose
must this once, but you know that
after we are married I shall always
have IHiH of my own"
A medical man asked his legal ad-
wiser how he could punish his SER
want who had stolen canister of val
liable snuff ~ am not aware of any
act" said the lawyer, "that makes it
penal to take snuff"
A gentleman speaking of a young
beauty's fashionable yellowish hair,
called it pure gold. 1t ought to be,
guoth Mr.. K, it looks like TWEEN
ty-four carrots.
4 1t is the rule Of the inhabitants OF
certain islands not to allow a young
man to get married till he can cut a
sponge at depth of forty feet. We
do not think a man is fit to be mar
ried until he can cuta sponge no mat
ter ut what distance.
A certain cockney overcome by his
sensibilities, tainted at the grave OF
his fourth spouse. "What shall we
do with him ?" asked a perplexed
friend Of his. Let him alone" said
waggish bystandcr, "hc'll soon re-
wive."
A poor fellow being asked on a
late trial for certificate of his mar.
rage, exhibited large scar on his
head, which looked as though il might
have been made with fre-shovel.-
The evidence was satisfactory.
Marriage is desperate thing the
frogs in Hsop were extremely wise
inoy had u great mind 10 some water
but they would not leap into the well
because they could not get out again
A dandy lately appeared in lows
with legs so attenuated that the au
thorities had him arrested because h,
had "no visible means Of support.
A poet intended TO say, "See TIL
pale martyr in sheet Of fire." in
stead of which the printer made hin
say, "see the pale martyr with hi
shirt on fire"
At first the dissipatea resort L
wine 10 stimulate their wits, and II
the end have to resort to their wits u
procure thair wine.
"Wll you lend father your Chron
icle, sir ? he only wants to read it,
.'Yes, my boy, and ask him to len,
mo his dinner, ! only want to eatit
Why are sheep the most dissipate'
and unfortunate animalsY Becaus
they gan,Joi in their youth, frequen
the turf, and are always aceced.
Why is the letter like sewing
machine2 Because il makes needle
needless.
A henpecked husband says tina
instead of himself and wife beini
one, they are ten for she is ] an
he is 0.
Reader, did you ever enjoy tn
ecstatic bliss Of courtingS Yo
didn't then you had better get lit
tie Calamity.
What kind Of a ship has two mate
and no Captain? Courtship.
- MN is kiss like a rumor? BE
noes from mouth to mouth