Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1867-04-26
THE JIM-JIMS.

THE J1M-JrMs.
Have you ever had the Jim-Jims. m,
| young friend y The Jim-,Jims ," h
repeated, in reply to my questioning look
John Brinsley was seated in his rooms
reading the price-current in the evenin.
paper. had dropped in upon him to in
| quire what were the prospects, not of on
common country, but of cheese He wa
preparing himself for the delivery of al
elaborate opinion, when he suddenly start
ed from his chair and, grasping ME by tn,
arm, cried :" For Heavens sake, tell me
was that "a fly ?"
1 supposed he meant to inquire whethel
had bought few tons of cheese "iust fol
tiy spectators will understand tn,
| phrase-or whether intended to add an
other branch to my business, and replied
! accordingly.
" | mean, ,cds that's that-a fy?" h,
cried, making wild sweep at blue bottle
F.,shose wings just then brushed his nose.
"Of course it is | returned. "Whai
did you think 1t was-a guinea-hen OF a
turkey-buzzard ,"
He seated himself and began stirring the
fire thoughtfully.
III. oOAh ' lCl Is
well-to-do and rather portly commission
merchant, whose acquaintance | had lately
made. Naturally very sensible fellow. he
had the advantage or disadvantage on
starting IN life of a collegiate education,
graduating either as a bacchanalian or a
baccalaureate-1 do not exactly remember
which OF his former habits knew moth.
Ing, but he was then one of the staunchest
teetotallers going, refusing even that deli
clous phase OF the grape-Tokay. to which
always yield myself a ready victim.
Suddenly he wheeled round in his chair
and propounded the queries with which
this article begins. Ireplied in the mega.
tlye-'hat l had never had the Jim Jims
and did not even know what they were.
Eli: MOI he said, squaring himself
In his seat. well, sincerely hope YOU
never will As it Is, let me tell YOU some
thing about them"
L listened; there is no stopping John
Brinsley when nc once get talking and he
went on as follows:
For about thirty years of my life | was
addicted tO-to-permitm periphrasis-
the use OF stimulants. Never a hard drink
er IN the common acceptaticn of that term,
was still what may be called steady
drlnker- drank, as some people vote in
the less respectable wards, early and often.
In short, would as soon have thought of
going through the day without breathing
as without bibbing. My nose may have ae-
quired a slightly coPPory vUlOr IN c0nse-
qucnce, yet no one ever saw Inc under the
influence of liquor, and the charge of in
temperance was never brought against me.
Shutters and cutters were alike strange to
me.
Right here let me ask how the sin of
drunkenness is to be estimated and meas
ured? Is it the quantity drunk or the eff
feet produced which we are to consider
when sitting in judgement upon mans
habits and character? For while one man
can drink all day without manifesting any
symptom of inebriation, another, who
should undertake or be persuaded to nm
dergo similar course of discipline, would
probably find himself carried home in a
most ignominious way. upon an uncom-
Portable and hastily impr' vised litter, long
before the sun was at its zenith those who
witnessed the informal procession would
undoubtedly blazon the horizontal hero as
a drunkard of the most eminent type and
solemn tracts with startling titles would be
showered upon him in lieu of the ivy
leaves wherewith the brows of Bacchus of
old were bound All this while the other
man, who carried off his more frequent in
dulgences with an air Of unconscious grace,
standing up under his rotations like three
decker to only moderate breeze, would
very likely be lauded for his temperate
habits, and held up as model of sobriety
to his less fortunate neighbor. But wheth-
er the iniquity of inhibition is to be meas
ured by the amount drunk or the CAPACITY
OF the drinker to withstand the subtle spell
which bewilders the brain and confuses the
powers of lOcOmOtion, | cannot undertake
TO determine, nor will | now discuss but
one thing is certain, a fourth part of the
liquor which l every day consumed with
out Tear and without reprOach would have
sent half my acquaintance Keeling to their
beds, and won for them, in a very short
time, most unenviable regulations.
1t was only some six months since that
experienced any i'll effects of my habit.
Gout gradually set in, which was by no
means pleasant to man fond of dancing
Besides, developed an apoplectic tenden-
cy, which acquaintance remarked upon :
like the elder Mr. Weller, l swelled visibly ;
sudden rlshes of blood to the head rem
dered me at times nearly blind. Often on
entering or leaving a room l was Obliged
to put out my hands and grope my way
and blindman s-buH is an amusement for
which never had any partially. Con-
sulting my physician-not & hydropathist.
understandable at once ordered me to
cease the use of stimulants the techni-
cal way of saying "Stop drinking" re-
monstrated, but he was peremptory. 1
said =" Not too suddenly y; but he replied
"At once," To my nild urging that it
would be best to "taper off" he made an
swer that taper was burning at my vitals,
and that spirits were the oils which fed the
flame. He said "Snuff it out at once
cut off the fuel" To my representations
that could not live he replied that might
as well die one way as another that if 1
continued to drink my death was certain ;
that if l stopped there was chance for
me. And he clapped a stop on further OBJ
jcctions by refusing to treat my case at all
unless abandoned drinking before coming
under his hands. Ale was worse kthan
whisky, because more bulky; wine more
dangerous than anything else, because so
insidious and seductive
He had been the physician of myself and
of my fathers family-I have no family of
my Own-since first the family was found
ed, and there was none other in the city TO
whose hands could commit myself with
confidence. So yielded to his ultimatum,
converted my demijohns into yet more
fragmentary divisions, and became water
drinker on the spot.
The first day of my new experience |
suffered; slightly, but still sufered-nor
was strong. My hand was shaky in the