The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1867-05-24

W hotlCc uIcSS pdTlcularlN. lie 1unp
the garment over his head, and tied it
around his waist-slipped on his shoes
and plunged into the keen air. The
Doctor was asleep, and did not care
about turning out, but on being told
that it was case of life or death, he
yielded at once.
Mr.. Phillips left him dressing, and
sped to the residence of Granny Bates.
The old lady was wise, but she was very
superstitious, and believed in warnings
and apparitions. Phillips gave thun-
dering rap at the door, and directly
night-capped head appeared at an up
per window.
"What do you want at this time of
night, and who be ye?" said a cracked
voice.
Phillips stepped out and stood plainly
revealed by the light of a dim moon.
"Good gracious massyu cried the
old woman, "it's got scalloped petit
coat on. Land l didn't think they
wasted their time on such vanites as
that are"
"It's dyingw exclaimed Phillips
'come down quick"
"Not | amt so green as to trust
my old body to a supernatural ghostw
and down went the window with a
bang. Phillips pounded at the door un-
til he was tired, and then made tracks
for home.
DR.. Gray had just arrived. Mrs. Phil
lips Incorporating to go into hystericsas
soon as she heard his opinion.
Baby was much worse it not only
sucked its thumbs, but wigged its toes.
1t could not continuelong. The doctor,
with grave face, entered the sick room.
Biddy rubbed her mistress with camphor.
Mr.. Phillips stood by, wiping his eyes
with the drapery of his scant attire.
ooh, doctor! will it die? Only save it
doctor, and you may take all | havew
cried Mrs. Phillips, wringing her hands.
"Ill get down on my knees to you and
thank you forever"
"Keep your sitting, marm, keep your
sitting" said the doctor, taking large
pinch of snuff.
"Don't keep me in suspense! Only see
its precious little arm What is it
For the love of heaven tell me-let me
know the worst :"
"Well, marm, if l speak out you
promise not to blame me?" asked the
doctor gravely.
"No, moi"
"Marm," said he, with his long face
still more fearfully elongated, "it is my
opinion as man and a physician, that
the child has been bitten by four bed
bugs, or else he has been bitten in four
places byone insect of that description"
CDR. Gray" cried the father, "do you
mean to insult us?"
"By no means, sir; repeat if"
"No, you don't" yellow Mr.. p. It's
enough to insinutte that | have bed
bugs, to say nothingof the libel on that
/ little angel cherub. Get out of this
house this instant, you mean, cheating,
insulting old vagabondw and seizing
the butter ladlc from the table, where
Biddy had laid it full of hot pepper tea,
she flung it at him. The doctor knew
enough about women to realize that in
flight lay safety, and with hasty bow
he backed off the stop and started for
his gig. The ground was inclined, and
quite lev. His heels flew up, his head
went down, and his whole body spun
down the hill like steel-shod cutter.
Mrs. Z. nothing daunted, rushed after
/ him and shared the same fate. The two
brought up together at the root OF the
hill, in n watering trough, butno words
of sympathy were exchanged. The
doctor got up 10 quick rs he could, and
galloped home, and Mrs. Phillips fol-
lowed his example.
The baby lived and throve. AS it
crew older its dictatorship became more
and more absolute. Phillips was down
on all fours for the greater part of his
time, that the baby might ride on his
back and Mrs. Philips went without
crinoline, and left her arms bare in the
coolest weather because the steel spring
and her dress sleeve hurt the baby.
Baby made complete wreck of all
the crockcry in the house-pOunded 1t
with hammer; he kicked his heels
through the looking glass and tore the
inwards out of pas gold watch, unmo-
Tested. 1t pleased the deary, weary,
scary baby, his mother said-the little
nifty sugar pIummy baby.
one day, when the wonderful baby
was a year old, the village inhabitants
were startled by the disheveled appari-
tion of Mrs. Phillips-bare headed, and
wearing.a wild expression of counte-
nance-hurrying at frantic rate to the
loiner's shop, where her husband
worked; and instantly re-appeared,
followed by Phillips at dog trot.
old squire Smith saw them, and be-
ing a man who lived in constant dread
of fire, he thought it must be the resi-
dence of Mr.. Phillips was in flames
The old gentleman was perfectly insane
ON the subject of conflagration, and at
the top of his lungs raised the cry;
"Fire! fire! fire."
Where? where?' criedascore ofvoiceS
"Charey Phillips house! said tho
old gentleman.
The fire company gathered, got ou
the engine, and ran with speed to thu
, fatalhous Butto their supreme aston
, ishment they did not so much as smel
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