The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1867-04-26
From All the Year Round.
FREDDY'S AUNT.

WOrlu, Freddy, SAID i, nlnglng Dack
letter, with that smile of sour congratu-
lation which greets friends good for
tune. g5g Cs ~ 80
zone of them" said Freddy, modest
ly crumpling up the letter, and stuffng
( its enclOsure-a bank bill for three hum
dred ponnds-into his waistcoat pocket,
with provoking Indifference.
"At what do you return this model
relative of yours in your income taxi"
/ asked spitefully:
"You have probably noticed, from
time to time, Acknowledgements on the
part of the financial executive" said
Freddy, "of supposed arrears at ina
post" -. l.fs.,..s
Regarding them as pleasant fctions,
intended strictly to vary the stern mon
otony Of official returns, l never thought
Of them as originating with you."
Right, my friend" said Freddy. "1f
the income tax of the conscientious cit
liens be in arrear, they are rogues, if
not idiots. flatter myself lam neither.
l simply accept the good the gods, by
the hand of Miss Sympleson, provide
me, and, assure you, a thousand year
(she stands me in that) is no bad addi-
tion to my little professional income "
(Which must be at least double that
sum-" said /, with an envious glance at
the corpulent briefs that covered the Of
flee table. a.-. --rg
About" replied Freddy. ''Or say
three hundred more. Pm doing very
fairly" 81
"Ahem!" said l. your aunt must he
delighted at your success?"
"My dear fellow" exclaimed Freddy,
"she doesn't know. / would not have
her enlightened for the world"
"That is, not for thousand Il year,"
muttered.
Fred. was a good fellow, and an old
friend; but there was something in the
aspect of his character now presenting
itself that did not harmOnize with the
old impressions. 1t seemed as if my
friend had insulted himself, and i felt
inclined to ask him what he meant by
it.
"She is d very peculiar woman, that
aunt of mine," resumed Freddy, "liberal
of advice, and (Which is rare) of money
to enforce the same. / should deprive
the kind soul of the two master pleas
ures of her life were i to let her into
the secret that / want neither her coun-
sci nor her cash."
'It is very kind ofyou. And it is sat
isfactOry to see that, in this case, at
least, virtue brings it's own reward"
Come said Fred. indignantly, 81
won't take more credit than / deserve.
Let it be a warning to you, young man,
to avoid duplicity, even for the wor-
thiest ends, when l confess that from
tacitly acknowledging the acceptablhty
of my aunts donations, i have drifted
into the deeper guilt of counting, nay,
sir, of demanding them"
81 am sorry to hear it, Bullingham,"
said |, gloomily. ~ would not hear
thine enemy say se.'
"Tweak bis nose if you should" said
Fred. "He couldn't know it, except
! from myself or YOU. You, know, will
he close as wax, and, by and by, if, at
any time, few hundred"
"Excuse me, Mr.. Bullingham," l re-
piled. ''If, as you observe, l resemble
wax in its consistency, / don't III Its
malleability. The source of those few
Hundreds is too polluted to"
"Bosh! your grandmother" said Fred
dy, laughing heartily. "Now look,
George, my boy. Tell me, what could
do' My dear aunt has passion for
giving counsel
"Feeling it, you mean,' said l.
"Ha. ha! And the more intricate and
perplexing the question, the better she
! is pleased. You can understand that a
! life like mine offers few situations OF
romantic difficulty. Consequently, the
tightness of the incident market has
more than once compelled me to resort
to the realm of fiction for mysterious
ENHANCEMENT, a picturesque anxlety,Ia
Nraalatie temptation, or so. You prob
ably were not aware that l was offered
the hand of Mexican princess, with a
dowry of ten thousand million milerea
| Ia milerea is about the hundredth part
of o shilling. but my aunt wouldn't
know that) on condition that l should
wear the massive nose ring distinction
of connections of the blood royal"
"You forgot to mention the circum-
stances to me, said dryly. ~ thought
that the government of Mexico was
repub--" a..,,
casion to establish the empire. Perhaps
YOU never heard that the Duke of Well
| iington, when appealed to as to who
should succeed to the woolsack, in the
event of sudden vacancy replied, in
his court manner, Fred Bulli4gham."
."No; certainly never did," said,
emphatically. III
"Nor l." reioined Fred, II only said
it.n ~. sas
| ."But, ell! Surely these are
"Pretty stiff" said Fred, with perfect
1
aunt was equal to them. l give you my
honor that on neither of these occasions
| was I actuated by any avarlcious mo-
tive. You may see that they of1er no
| apparent pretext for q present. Inc
marriage iigment produced a check for
FIVE hundred,-the largest Lever receiv-
ed. Never, wrote the dear old lady,
never, may live to see your nose,'.my
nose, / may call 1.-THE Bullingham
nose e-dishonored with the barbarous
trinket that is to accompany this girls
hand. Reject the savage proposal.
While have shilling, you shall share
lit.n
"You took the check!"
"Of course did, said Freddy. "The
second case produced only two hundred.
Nv aunt entirely conceded in the Dukes
opinion, and, thinking / might require
a few new law books on the duties of
the woolsack, such, perhaps, as the
Lord Chancellor's Pocket Companion,
the Judgment Dictionary, Chancery in
a Nutshell, &c, kindly enclosed the
amount have named. have been en-
gagged to be married to several young
ladies of considerable personal beauty,
but limited means. Something, how
ever, invariably interposed to prevent
our union, and, in each instance, my
aunt positively refused to take back
the presents she had made me. The
greatest stroke ] ever made, sir, was
this:
~ invented an expedition to the
Spanish Main, with the view of recov-
ering treasures of great value, hidden
years ago by the buccaneers. This re-
quired capital, and my aunt had to sell
out stock to about five thousand pounds.
The ship foundered, and the project
with it. Altogether, Imust have made,
let me see," Che took little book
from his NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
I-seen-last three-yes, just about six
teen thousand pounds"