Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1867-04-24

Joxssa IN scnooL.-Mr. Moody, OF
the Winthrop Gazette who has had some
pedagogical experience, tells the follow,
ing good joke Of himself:
We once had pupil who would not
study, bat who was keen, quick-"itted,
perfect clown. We one day saw him
>busily engaged with his slate. Acciden.
tally passing near his desk, We discovered
Oh his slate caricature Of somebody.
We cared nothing for the picture, but
wishing him to know We had seen it, We
said, George He looked up. and
drawled out "What?" .Wcre you look.
ing in the gl,ss when You diew that 2
NO." said ne. WAS looking at YOU.
It's dangerous joking with clowns OF
fools. Once we set one of the lattel
class to work in our garden. and suspect
ing he would nurse the hoe-handfc" a.
soon as we were out of sight, We stole
upon him. unawares after half an hour.
He stood with his right hand poised over
a large musquito that was drawing the
foolish blood from his left arm. Step
ping up behind him, we gave him aqnick
slap on the> shoulder, and said, briskly.
Work away mosquitoes never bite
fel." The surprise fastened the fatal
catastrophe to poor 'skeeter: and Us fool
raised the trap to see the result, one eye
looking at the bloody blotch on his arm
and the other askew at US, he said, with
very leisurely emphasis, Hain't you glad
orn't?"-WatervilIe Mail.
"TnEN WoRMs IL SperL. I'm an in
terror judicial district, not many miles
from San Francisco, resides Judge whose
name is synonym for good humor, and
whose acquaintance is-regarded as favor.
He is we'll known in this city, and some
of his many metropolitan acquaintances
occasionally visit him in his country
quarters to enjoy his society, and, when
court is not in session, q trouting excur-
sion in the vicinity, in his company. Some
time ago three or four good and true
men agreed to pay the Judge visit They
arrived at the town late IN the afternoon.
and one of the number, q careful and
proyident soul, Immediately set himself
to work to procure lot of earth worms
for bait, intending to start with the judge
after mountain trout early in the morning.
The bait hunter, whom we may call
Smith, oversight himself, and when he
awoke he found that the judge was on
the bench at the court house, and q trial
for capital offence about to proceed.
Late as it was, Smith had no idea of CIV
ing up the excursion, and so he went to
the court house, and worked his way to
the place where the Judge sat, looking in
tent on the serious business, before him
Getting as close as he could, he said, in q
pigs whisper,
Judge, them worms II spoil"
o Such an important consequence of his
holding court had not occurred to the
Judge,sbut now the fact broke on his
mind with full force.
"sherif,," said he, promptly, "adjourn
the court"
"The court was adjourned, the prisoner
remanded, and the jolly party, the Judge
being one, had a three days excursion
When they returned the court was con;
vened, the trial proceeded, and the man
Mas convicted and sentenced to be hanged.
PooR IsDEED.-The poverty Of minis.
ters is proverbial. and probably, as the
Queen of Sheba said to the wisdom oi
Solomon, ",he half has not been told. ;
Bat an old lady in Schuyler County has
finally given the finishing touch to the
picture, and it is now ready for the Fine
Arts. 1t happened on this wise: The ole
lady was conversing with young friend
who had called to see her, and counseiing
her never to marry minister, giving this
as good and sufficient reason: Don't
marry minister" said she, =" for II, you
do you'll never have any soap grease.
have often lived near by them. and never
knew one to have any," The young lady
was then keeping company" with u
Methodist mihister-thcugh her aged
friend was ignorant of the fact-and in a
few weeks married him, not having the
fear of even such poverty before her eyes.
Ak HONEST ANswER.-Recently q cler.
gyman was preaching in Belfast, when a
young man in the congregation, getting
weary OF the sermon, looked at his watch.
Just rs he was in. the act Of examining
his time-piece for the fourth or fifth time,
the pastor, with great earnestness, was
urging the truth upon the conciousness of
his hearars. "Young man." said he,
"how it is with you?" Whereupon the
young man with the gold repeater bawled
out, in hearing of nearly the whole con-
gregation, "a quarter past eight" AS
may be supposed, the gravity of the as.
sembly was much disturbed for time.
Hollow WIRBs.-A genuine "paddee," :"
quite aged, living some miles out of town,
came into telegraph Office one day to
sell some "praties,' and seeing the in.
struments, battery, ETC., wondered if that
was the tilligraft" After gazing steadily
for several minutes, he ssid he had always
wanted to ask one question; and this is
Il; SIS the wire hollow on the outside or
on the insidc2'
PROFESSIONAL CATDoK.-A gentleman
afflicted with rheumatism consulted
physician, who Immediately wrote him
prescription. AS The patient was going
away the doctor called him back. "By
the way, sir, should my prescription Hap.
ben to afford you any relief please to
let me knox, as am myself suffering
from similar affection, and lave tried
Il vain 10 ears il.