The tri-weekly standard. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1866-1868, 1867-02-12
For the Standard.
Letter from Jacob Turnabout.

SLEEPY BoTToM, Feb. 4, 1867.
DEER BRUTHER PELL, CAS- wUNCE wUZ :
When rit you my last letter, promised t.
go up to Rolly to make arrangements abou
helpin you to edit the Scentandt. But jist a
Twas cittin fixed up like, here KUN II lette
frum ole bruther Toby Watchout, reveelin t.
me sumthin of your true karacter That you
are ijined to them war men, that made on
pore boys hte to deth in a kause they always
hated and brought Shermans army over on
settlement to destroy our property, as titt
as Efrim wuz to idles let him alone. Tha
you wuz mitily in fur every body to go anc
fte but the preachers. That you moreover
like ole deeon Waterspout, are not only fel
frum erase, but goes about misrepresentir
sum of our publick men who wont even de
served to notis you, jest bekase they most
you and has the boldness to ekspress thei
knowledge.
Now kin stick as tite to rale honest
trend as emmy boldly, and wuz reddy to Civ
up my reliiun and jine you as you wanted
me to do. But when it kums to standin up
to them traters, that like yourself insted OF
bein peece makers, cried war and blood fur
our pore boys. while they hilt all the offises
and reeped all the glory. 1 kant swaller
that l know we'll enuff what honor and
konsistensy is. But it amt to be found in the
karacter of professin krlstian that don't
Others to fife while they don't smell powder,
but least of all is homer and consistency to
be found in the karacter ola backslid Meth
odist preacher.
konfess have sumtimes mixed in with
nifty meen men. I have eat supper with ole
Tom Jones, better known to you as lynn
Tom" and hay slept all mite with ole Joe
Smith, that you remember stole sheep frum
his pore ole blind nabor, but never yit sunk
so low as to keep kumpany with Metho-
dist preacher, who is not only fell trum erase
and turned perlitikal editur, but even jined
hisSelf to traters. This is my only apollo
gy fur bralzis my promis and not gwine up
to Roliy to talk matters over with you last
Sundy.
Purmit me now. deer bruther Pell, Gas
wunce wuz,) to relait you dreem that ole
sister Simmons had few mites ago. The
ole lady had gone to bed redin her Bible
and thiukin over sum of them purity sur
minis you used to preech to us down here
about backslidin. lovin the wurld and SIGH
like Purity soon she had a dreem, that
"wuz rot all dreenl," as Skakespeer says
you know. The iudgemint day had kun,
the wurld WIZ burnln, and CRATE crowds of
men and wimmin died. and alive, wuz march
ed up to the CRATE Judge fur trial. Sum of
the Eases looked femiliar, but many were
forgot or never seen before. One by one
they went up and wuz tried and assined their
places, the good on the side where every Ease
looked so brite and happy-tho had on the
other side where wuz weepin and waln and
nashin Of teeth. At length a CRATE big fat
man, with white he'd wuz brought forward.
He marched up nifty proud and konsequenshu
like, and started out to tell q nifty purity
tale-how he had preechc6 to sinners, pinted
them the rite way, and begged them to flee
the rath to kun. His voise sounded so ia
miliar--So much like ole times-she looked
to see who it wuz, hut jest then up rushed a
CRATE crowd of men wounded and bleedin,
sum with an arm gone sum with both legs
shot off and. sum without any heds and
they all begun to charge the ole fat man with
their dcths and suffef!n Chem that had no
heds lest rintcd at him and hissed) Then
here kun crowd of widows all dressed in
black weepin fur their husbands and all tes-
tifyin agin him. And then sich multitude
of little orfan boys and girls kun holoin at
the ole fat man accusin him of bein the caus
of their fathers deth. and leavin them to
bckum beggars aud thieves. And then KUN
along a crowd that throwed all their aposta-
sy and sin at his he'd like rocks, until they
like to have nocked him down. But in the
Ease of all this he stood proudly up, until at
last here KUN along sumboddy holdin up at
him modderit size paper and printed at
the top waz " Rohy ScentdnaC (Scent-an
alL) No sooner did he see it than his he'd
dropped fur shame, and he fell on his knees
and tried to pray, but ne had furgot how
Then wuz herd the order, kast him out"
and sch set of horrid creeturs seezed him
and hummensed tarin and draggin him and
showtin hipperkrit and back-slid methodist
preacher and SIGH. that it walked the ole lady
upiist in tiffie to find her bed clothes kotch-
ed aire ard blazin. She skreemed and hol-
Tered for help until the family KUN in and
put out the fire, but the ole lady lost all her
hed-clothes. This is only given you as a
peece of news; that will of coorse interest
sou.
Finally, deer bruther Pell, (as wunce wuz,)
as You used to prcech nifty sharp at NE and
other sinners, but bein as the thing is now
turned round and l am an exorter and you
- periitkal editur, purmit me to ex-
ort you little. You are CROWN ole now
Your he'd is white for the grave, and maybe
mere than half your days are gone. We are
both ten years nearer deth and the Judge
mint than we wuz ten years ago, and every
day brings US still nearer. Does your mind
ever revprt to them purity serinints you used
to preech to US in your better days? When
you think Of what you wuz, what YOU are.
and what you must soon be, unless YOU re-
pent and do your hurst works over, don't you
trouble [ want to see you sayed-not lost
and when | behold the MALLS of your hart
in sum OF your editorials in the copies of
the .Scentnnal that ole bruther Toby sent me-
and think how you are kausin the ruin of so
many preshus soles, by your example, that
YOU ought to be tryin to save; and remem-
Der you are ole and must soon die, trimble
fur your latter eend. Then let me beg you
that when yen go home to-nite, before you
go tn sleep, examine yourself by the skrip
tes and Discipline. and git down and pray
fur mercy and pardun until you are restored
baeiz to that high posishun frum which you
hav so deeply fell. Do this; and when you
get to be a good kristian agin, and quit pol
lerticks. and begin preechin agin in urnest,
KUN down to Sleepy Bottom and tend one
of our ole fashuned class meetins, and give
us the rich 'eksperience of your dose of
baekslidin.
Your (quondam affexchunit bruther,)
JACOB TURNABOUT, Erorter.