The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1867-02-19
6ar

D1LIs AhSSASctSoF hO S~
with its General Accidents, and its Haz-
ardous Tables and Extra Hazardous fur
niture Of the same description, and l
would like to know something more
about it. 1t is a new thing to me. l
want to in, est if l come to like it. 1
want to ask merely q few questions of
the man who carries on this Accident
shop, if you think You can spare SO
much space to q far distant stranger.
l am an Orphan.
He publishes this list as accidents he
is willing to insure people against:
ssa.e. GENERAL ACCIDENTS .r
Include the Travelling Risk, and also all
forms Of DislocatioEs, Broken Bones,
Ruptured Tendons, Sprains, Concus-
sions, Brushings, Bruises, Cuts, Slabs,
Gunshot Wounds, Poisoned Wounds,
Burns aud Scalds, Freezing, Bites, Cn-
provoked Assaults by Burglars. Robbers
or Murderers, the action of Lightning
or Sunstroke. the effects of Explosions,
Chemicals, Floods and Earthquakes,
Suffocation by Drowning or Oh Okins-
where such accidental injury totally
disables the person insured from follow
ing his usual avocation or causes death
in three months from the time of the
ha,p.pino of tha injury
l want to address this party rs fol-
lows:
Now, SMITH suppose likely your
name is S~mitlr-you don't know me and
| don't YOU, but l am willing to be
friendly. am acquainted with a good
many of Your family know John as
well as | know any maitland think
we can come to an understanding about
your little game without any hard feel
ings. For instance:
Do you allow the same money on a
dog-bite that you do on an earthquake :
Do you take special risks for specific
accidents .-that is to say, could1, by
getting Il policy for dog-bites alone, get
it cheaper than if l took chance in
your whole lottery: And if so, and
surprising l get insured against earth
quakes, would you charge any more for
San Francisco earthquakes than those
that prevail in places that are better
anchored down?
And if / had q policy on earthquakes
alone, I couldn't collect on a dos-bite,
may be, could l!
If a man had such a policy and an
earthquake shook him mp and loosened
his Joints a good deal, but not enough
to incapacitate him from engaging in pur-
suits which did not require him to be
tight, wouldn't you pay him some OF
the pension !
l notice you do not mention bileS'
How about biles
Why do yon discriminate between
Provoked and Unprovoked assaults by
burglars! If a burglar entered my
house at dead of night, and ], in the eX-
element natural to such an occasion,
should forget myself and say some
thing that provoked him, and he
shonld cripple me, wouldn't | get any
thing
But if provoked him by pure aeci-
dent. | would have you there. | judge,
because you would have to pay for the
Accident part of it, any how, seeing that
insuring against accidents is Just your
strong suit, you know.
Now that item about protecting Il man
against freezing is good. 1t will pro-
cure you all the custom you want III
this country. Because, you understand
the people kereabouts have suffered a
good deal from Just such climatic draw
backs as that. Why, three years ago,
if a man-being n small fish i'll the
matter of mouey-went to Washo and
bought into a good silver mine, they
NOlltl % thNt hhh ~ ~ 1850 -
sessments till his purse got down to
about thirty-two Fahrenheit. and then
the big fish w0uld close in on him and
freeze him out. And from that day forth
you might consider that man in the
light Of bankrupt community. And
you would have him down to a spot
too. But if you are ready to insure
against that sort of thing, and can stand
it, ym oan give Washoe n fair start.
You might send me an agency. Business!
Why, Smith. | could get you more bust
ness than You could attend to. With
such an understanding as that the boys
would all take a chance.
You don't appear to make any partic-
ular mention of taking risks on Bliglitcd
Affections. But if YOU should conclude
to do a little business in that line, YOU
might put me down for six or sever
chances. | wouldn't mind expenses
YOU might enter il on the Extra Haz-
ardous. | suppose 1 would get ahead
of you in the long run anyhow, likely.
l have been blightcd a good deal i'll my
time.
But now as to those effects ofLisht-
ming Suppose the lightning were to
strike ont Mt one of your men and miss
him, and fetch another party-could
that other party comeen you for dam
ages: Or could the relatives of the
party thus suddenly snaked ont of the
bright world in the bloom of his youth
come on you in case he was crowded
for time.-as of course he would be, you
know, under such circumstances.
You say you have ISSUED over sixty
thousand policies, forty-ive of which
have proved fatal and been paid for"
Now, do you know, Smith, that that
looks just u little shaky to me, in a
measured You appear to have it all