Bloomsburg democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1867-1869, 1867-05-15
NO.. II.
A Bachelors Ieverie.

responsibilities" as Fanny Wright calls
them. Hoighol I'm getting to be-no not
"middle-ased gentleman" for lve been
that, any time the last ten years no, I'm
gentleman declining in years, and may ad-
vertisc for housekeeper without giving
handle TO scandal to make free With my
character. Twenty five years ago, and I
should have afironted the man who forctold
this; that should be si.ting this day in an
armchair, newspaper in hand, breakfast
before me, one foot on q cushion, and only
one cup and two eggs on the table, News.
papers are stupid things, Id much rather
chat over my morning meal. Why the deuce
am not married? Nobody makes tea Gt
to drink now, and the toast never comes
up to me hot. What capital tea Lucy Smith
used to make. Poor Lucy; wonder what
made INC think Of her3 People ssid Lucy
and l would certainly make match; ami
SO We should, l suspect, il it hadn't been for
that cursed cousin Of hers. I'm sure she
would have married me If l had asked her
but kept putting it of, and putting it Of
day after day, and he-cut me out, and be
hanged to him. was young gentleman,
then, and thought could marry whenever
l liked. They went sway to the west, and
got rich; he's member Of Congress, aud
she has grown fat, aud rides about in her
carriage, with two Or three grown up daugh-
ters. pretty girls, too, as I'm told, but
they'll never be like their mother. I've
ribbon Of hers that she u.cd to wear round
her slead.r waist, and I bribed her little
brother to steal for me. with the loan Of my
fowl!ns spisce; and sometimes when it rains,
and I feel sentimental, I take it out ofmy
writing desk, ard look at it awhile, AMI
think Ill throw it into the 6re-but I don't
though, and there it is yet in the secret
drawer with my mothers picture, and tho
last lock ofny own hair. They make capi.
tai wigs, now, by the way; nobody seems to
suspect that my eurls arc not the natural
crop. Lucy used to say that my hair was
beautiful, AMI I'm almost certain she cut Of
lock once, when l was asleep on tho sofa.
| wonder whether she's lost any Of her
splendid teeth; mine have stood it out pret.
ty well, but they're going. Parmly said
hers would last long time, and he ought to
know. must 90 to him and get him to
make me a couple Of new ones. What shall
| do with myself to.day2 I've given up
business, and made money enough to last
mo ,ny time. I've no one to leave it to when
I'm gono. Where's the use Of going on ad-
ding dollar to dollar, and acre to acre, unless
one has children to set up? Nine marriages
in the paper to-day Nine husbands and
nine wives created since yesterday morning.
l dare say they II all have young sprouts
say four piece on an average; that's thir'
ty six little mouths to be stuffed with bread
and butter, and seventy two little feet to buy
shoes for, and two hundred and eighty.eight
little fingers to wash and keep clean! No
fool of job that for the nine papas and
Twas always remarkable foud
Of children.
There is a newly married couple moved
into the house over the way, on purpose to
plague mo, do believe they seem to be
very fond Of each other, ami dreadfully hap.
py. There's gig comes to the door every
afternoon, and he hands his wife into 1t 80
carefully, and she smiles at him so brightly
as they drive Of, that I'm almost tempted to
wish they might break their necks before
they come back. That's q nicc looking girl
that has come to stay with them during the
honeymoon she's the BRIDES sister, or
something, dare say; the prettiest foot and
the most roguish eyes I've seen-except
Lucy Smiths. l wonder If she's engaged
to be married; / don't SEQ any very suspic-
ious young man come to the door, and.
But what the duce is it to me whether she
is or not? I'm an old bachelor, and must
60 down to the grave without leaving any
ono to cry for me. ! should like, though to
SEQ the girl nearer; its eay enough to get
into the house, and though I'm
too old to marry, there's no reason that
know Of, why an old fellow like me, shouldn't
do the polite thing to newcomer into the
neighborhood. I've . new coat coming
home, that my artist says, will make me
look fifteen years youngcr-rather imperti-
uent, by the way. And I'm not 50 amaz-
iugly old, after all. When sat down to
I felt rather BLUSH, and thought
myself quite Methusaleth. POh, no such
hing; can walk as briskly as ever-al-
most--I can ride, sing, dan, no I'd better
|save out tho dancing; but what Of that ?.
I'm good-lookins, middle aged man, tired
Of living alone, and, hang me, butIll make
one more try for the ring, IL die for it,
There's pretty girl over The way, and Ill
send over basket ofgnpcs with my COM
pliments.
S~ "Old age is coming on me rapidly"
as the boy said when he was stealing apples