The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1867-10-09
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Dead Broke.
BY THE FAT CONTRIBUTOR

BY THE FAT CONTRIBUTOR
~'g-<We found. q man seated on 4
curb stone, near the post office,
last night, muttering to- himself
apparently, as there was no one
else to mutter $to. We felt con-
strained to ask him what he was
doing there ? g. ~
"Hain't doin' nothin'," was the
reply.
aWhere do you belong ?'
'Don't b'long nowhere, and no.
where don't b'long to me-
"Who are you.?'
"I'm Broke y ,ss51...
well suppose you are broke,
you've got a name, haven't You ?
What is it?" ,z@sz:5=s7>:s,<<,
"I<teH yes I'm Broke:-Dead
Broke-that's my name, and that's
my natuT. My fathertwas Broke
before me. If1he hadn't been, [
wouldn't be Broke -now-at3 least,
. not so bad.-My mother was a
Peaseley, but she wanted a hus-
band and she got Broke-that's
my dad-and Broke got me. I've
been Broke ever since"
For few moments the .unhap-
pyD. Broke buried his face in
his hands, and seemed lost in the
most dolefM reflections. Then
raising his head, he exclaimed bit
terly: - .
Il wish / had been born a colt"
"Why do. you wish you had
been born a colt ?"'
because colt amt broke NATL
rheis two OF three years old. Il
was Broke the moment T saw the
light, and I never got over it. It
is hard to be broke so young"
How did your parents come to,
call you Dead Broke p"
"Well, ye see, as soon as I was
born something, seemed to tell me
that I had got to be Broke all my
fife, unless I could got my name
changed BY act of Legislature,
and that, you know, would be an
impossibility."
"How, an impossibility %
. kAresyeu such a hockhead as
toSsuppose that a man can get
anything through the Legislature
when be is broke ?'' :.
"You are right, Go on
"When the conviction forced it.
self upon my infant brain, confused
as it was by recent experiences;
that ] must be Broke all my life, l
fel that there was nothing to live
for, and lost all consciousness at
once. q have found only part Of
it since. }"
"He is dead !" cried my mother,
wringing her hands.
Yes gfoaned my father, ''dead
Broke!"
.I revived, alas! bnt Dead Broke
became my name, and l have been
dead broke ever sinse.>>.
"My name has been, fatal to me
all through life. The smallest
boy in school always broke me in
r playing marbles. l broke more
windows than any other boy in
base ball. I always broke down at
recitations, and had my head broke.
every day by the schoolmaster.
When I left school I went to clerk
it for a broker. One day there
was heavy defcitin the accounts.
I was afraid he might think had
something to do with it-so /
I broke. They caught me though.
eaad put me in Jail, but I broke
"out ofjail ?" /
"No, 'd-n it, broke out !clth
the small por -
"What did you do next p
.sAfter the court had disposed
of my case, I was allowed to ,got
into the brokerage business again"
"How was that ?"
Il broke stone in the penitentia-
~, dog On it 7 After got out
broke everything. [ broke my
promise, broke the Sabbath, and
broke the pledge" !
"Were you ever married ?"..
aHYes 1sighing deeply 'Matll-
mony broke me up worse than
anything else. Ny wife was a
regular ripper. She broke up my
furniture and the dishes, nearly
broke my back with a fat-iron,
and finally broke my heart"
"By running away ?"
mo, indeed, by sticking to-
me-"
"You have hard time of it,"
Gall owing to my name. But
bad as I dislike it, it's mine l
came by it honestly. You wouldn't
think anybody. else would want
to be in my place, would ye? but
there are thousands Of imposters
all over the country, trying to
pass themselves off for me-"
''In what way p
"When thew tell their creditors