The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1867-08-01

u INSTANTANEOUS ITEMS.

persists ID incurriig debts ? WILTON. <
Why shoah an alder ian wear a Tar
tan walst-coat2 To keep check Oh hi
Why is bad physician like an iil-tem
pered man? Because he is apt to lest
his patients. go,r
Why does an auetioneer Ike ugly GU,
toners at his sa.ias ! lie likes those wh'
are most for bidding
Why are people who go to church with
out paying for their seats not likely Il
be much benefited? Because they get
good for nothing.
When is physician ike bad school
boy and why? At night, because he Is
likely to be called up.
Which is the business that would SCOT
anybody? Chimney sweeping.
Nature makes us poor only when we
want necessaries, out custom gives the
name OF poverty to the want OF superfu-
tiles.
We should give as we receive, cheerful
", quickly, and without hesitation, for
there is no grace in benefit that sticks
to the fingers.
Lord Bacon Beautifully said ''If a
man be gracious unto strangers, it shows
he is citizen of the world, and his heart
Is no island cut off from other lands, but
q continent that joins them.
IF you would add lustre to all your ae-
complishnlents, study modest behavior
u,
but to be above conceit on account of
ones accomplishments is greater. s +
To be angry about trifes is mean and
childish, 20 rage and be furiousis british,
and maintain perpetual wrath is akin to
the practice and temper of devils; but
to prevent or suppress rising resentment
is wise and glorious, is manly and divine
Watts. -.-
A gentleman, going to take boat at
Richmond, cried out, ssWho can SWIM"
Il master,' came from forty bawling
mouths: but one fellow turning about
said Sir, cannot swim,,' Then you
are my man, said the gentleman, for
you will at least take care of me for your
own sake. &
The Providence Journal says: s'When
you tread on lady S train In the street,
you are not required to apologize. You
have right to be in the street. So has
the lady; but she has no more right to
carry her train, with the expectation of
having it respected, than she has to bring
her cradle to Market Square and rock
her baby in it. A train IN the drawing
room, however inconvenient, is graceful
and Appropriate and If you do not like
it, you may keep out OF the room. You
may 60 into the street, you have right
there, and you have a right 10 step on the
sidewalk, and ii any foolish women choo-
scs 10 lay five yards of satin between your
feet and the flags, it is 1T her risk, not
yours
JUDICIAL CRITICISM. "A queer scenei is
related as having once taken place In the
Court of Chancery between Lord Camp
bell and an eminent iawyer-a queen :
counsel In an action brought to recover
i.,r damages done to IA carriage, the learn
cd unsel repeatedly called the vehicle
in question brough- ham, whereupon
Lord Campbell, with considerable pom
positv, observed Broom, is the more
usual pronunciation a carriage OF the
kind you mean is generally and not in
correctly caIiel broons-tllat pronun
citation is open TO no grave objection, aud
it has the advantage OF saving the time
consumed by uttering an extra syllable. .
Half all hour later in the same trial, Lord
Campbell, abiding to u similar action
given said, I'm that case, the carriage
which had sustained injury was an oHlin
6tts Pardon me, my lord, inter
rupted the queen counsel with such
promptiemle that his lortsship was start
led into silence, "a carriage OF the KIND
to which you draw attention Is usually
termed !. Guss; that pronunciation Is open
To no grave objection, and has the great
advantage of saving the time consumed
by utterIng the two extra SSlabie>. he
INTERRUPTION was followed by a roar 0.
lau shter in which Lord Campbell joined
more heartily than one else.
Honesty TIE BEST Policy -iIegiaa
wa, a celebrated Arabian warrior, bat +.
rocious and cruel. Among uuhbet' g
prisoners whom he had condemned t,
death was one who, hating obtalnei, :;
moment audience, said:
You onght, sir, to pardon me, bccau~"
when Aodarrahman was curSing you.
represented to him that he was wrong,
AMI ever since that time | have lost his
friendship.
iIegiage asked him if he had any wit
ness of his having done this, and the sol
der mentioned another prisoner who was
likewise about to suffer death. The priS-
oner was called and Intercepted, and
having confirmed the fact, HegIage gran
ted the first his pardon. He then asked
the witness if he had likewise taken hi>
part against Abdarrham. But he, sti.i
,,l that IL,
hadlnnt, because he believed it was not
standing his ferocity, was struck with the
prisoner 5 greatness of shirt. ts.o
sNWell, said he, after a moment :
pause, suppose ! We're to grant you life
and liberty, should you still be my enc
N.Y. -,
No said the prisoner.
That's enough, said Hegiage. your
bare word is sufficient; you have given
us undoubted proof of yaur love for truth,
Co preserve the life that Is lessdear toyou
than honor aud sincerity: your liberty Is
the Just reward Of your virtue.
What resembles pretty girl bathing
A diving bellte1.
What time is that which, spelt back
wards or forwards, is the same? Noon.
When is lawyer like donkeyi
When he 5 drawing a conveyance.
How does a printers wife obtain frs,
impression of her baby? By setting il
up in small caps.
What is the difference between ha BY
and a great coat? One you was and the
other YOU wear
Why, are people who stutter not be re-
I'll Q = -. l.