Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1867-07-27

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HISTORY REPEATING TrsELF-wITH A
SLIGHT VARIATIoN.-There is paper said
to be published somewhere in Columbus
called the Journal. It is no party organ.
yet is anxious to be everybody's organ.
Does any one get defeated for nomination
on the Democratic ticket, straightway the
t.paper said to be published" takes up the
cudgef for him, pats him on the back, and
hugs him until another subject appears,
when, courtezan-lik the old love is dis
carded for the new. The old lady who
edits this paper is called Comfy. She isn't
much of an editor-well, it isn't much of
paper. He is supposed to be Brevet
Brigadier General. She is just now deeply
in love with the Germans. He is always
in love with somebody. In yesterdays
issue she covers the Germans all over with
saliva preparatory to boiling the whole OF
them at one swallow. We propose to take
the old lady on our knee, and tell her a
little story suited to his comprehension,
showing how history repeats ITSELF Now,
old lady, adjust your hoops and sit down,
and we will tell you all about it. sr.gia
Once upon time there was aGeneral-
oh, very great, great, great General
and he wanted to be President, Now,
what do you think this great General did
Why, he went round the country making
q. fool of himself, talking about the ''sweet
German accent and the rich Irish bregue.p
And it didn't do him bit of good, for the
people he was sott-soaping saw through
L; I'D ntod or :
they grieved to see so good q man making
such ninny of himself. Ain'tthat pref
" little story? Well, you shall hear the
rest of it. ,Ygro. s.- .esa ef- 70. -sv73
aaThere was a rusty old jokist called
Spivins. He was a naughty naughty
man, and would much rather laugh than
cry In fact, laughing seemed to be the
aim of his existence. He laughed at every
thing and everybody and; as laughter Is
catching, yerybody laughed with him.
He reported d speech made by highly
cultivated" German, who loved the negro
better than his own countrymen. and his
own countrymen despised him; and when
he would show that q negro was more de-
serving. than German, they threw pota-
toes and cabbage at him, and wouldn't let
him speak. And the Germans, who love
fun dearly, took two thousand copies OF
Spivins' speech, and sent it round among
their friends, and they did laugh heartily,
and said, i" Pully fon Sbivins J" r q 81
y And there was another great, great, great
General and his name was Comfy, and anx-
ious to follow in the footsteps of his great
predecessor, lie talked about the " sweet
German accent" and berated Spivins
soundly for having dared to put forth such
a report of Hassaurek's speech, when it
was well known that the Radical executive
committee had ordered $4,000 copies of an
other speech of Hassaurek's, and that if
Spivins' report was generally read it would
kill the other dead as door nail. But this
great. great, great General, unlike the 9TH
er great, great, great General, did not make
a fool of himself, for his Creator had taken
that job out of his hands. But the German
people put their thumbs to their nose and
-wagged with their fingers, and they
laughed at and pittied him.
There, isn't that nice story, old lady
Now get up and howl. I'll 70 ssf
POLICE CoURT.-Geo. Freeze was drunk.
George Freeze was also disorderly. Freeze
can freeze as tight to can of benzine as
any man in the business. He tosses him.
self on his muscle in a lively manner, does
George. He is punchist. And singist.
Between his ambition to fight and sing he
got into the calaboose. In default of So
and costs he went over to the Hotel de
Wakeman, where geological specimens
abound and little hammers prevail.
I William Henry is not the half brother to
Patrick Henry, as envious persons have re-
ported. We have serious doubts as to his
being any relation to the great Virginia
orator, though he can crate as well as any
of 'em. Especially when his, keg is full
Night before last he tested his capacity as
a galoot. Hesholds lots, does William but
unfortunately he got drunk before he got
full, and we are therefore without data as
to his storage capacity. The Mayor thought
so huge a drunk was worth So to any man.
William had not received greenbacks for
his bonds (nor will he for these new ones],
and he was therefore out of stamps. He
went over singing ax.ssstzF 10
l. "This is the way long have sought, ~
| c.n,,,eI 7 .o,,,ax- ;s . ,nonbood T,on,.1 ;s
no lummax, though a man and brother
Being filled with benzine, he was seized
WIN al unooii'roiaute uesire W 'aAe ' >" III III
on Sne sioe"alk. ne may pe q very sue
cessIui swlmist' Dut ne maze very iiIele
neadway on tne wei pavement. Iners
WASN'T q grea6 oeai oi waeer .nere, pu'
pam ooesns i.Ae inucii wafer, tne nioAs
sinoie q peauIhuh SILLY on Cio "ayoi a.
ne nearu Gne ubCerance anu cosIs