The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1867-01-18
The slippery Heels.

Heels" who have g park at the East
End, Cincinnati, has recently been es-
tablished. No one is eligible for mem
! bership who has ever been on skates
lprevious to the admissfonint0 the club,
land none are retained who have acqui-
red any proficiency in the art Their
evolutions are truly marvellous, the
skaters appearing to use their most
strenuous endeavors to skate on any
other portion of their bodies except
their feet Away one goes on one knee,
then another on all fours, another on
his back, with both feet in the air,
while another is seen going on his head.
They are constantly applying poun-
ded ice to some portions of their bod
les, as if to allsy inflammation. The
treatment appears to be little rough
Ito causal observer, yet they persist in
lit Pounding ice with the spinal base
and the back of the head-sometimes
with the top of the head or nose, can
not certainly be the easiest way of pull
verizing that substance,
| A spectator who was present the
other night asked "Slippery Heer'
Why he didn't use sledge hammer
or die driver to pound the ice with,
instead of thatportion of his body that
his coat-tails cover, and spectators would
have been pounded worse than the ice
was, if the "Slippery Heer could have
caught him, which he couldn't, of
course, although the spectator was
cripple and on crutches.
The President of the Slippery Heels
is a man whose head has been whitened
by the frosts of many winters, and
cracked bythe concession of many falls,
yet he skates little worse, if anything,
than he did when he first put himself
upon, runners. He has held office ever
since the Club started. He had to run
against several candidates, but he beat
EN- all He is used to running against
people. He never skates without run
ming against everybody on the ice. In
fact he can run against anybody ex-
cept against the wind. None of the
"Slppery Heels" can do that.
One member was seen to do it once,
and he was elected from the Park as
soon as the indignant s. HIS. could catch
him, which they didn't do until they
had taken their skates of. They can't
catch anything with skates on-tbey
can't even catch cold.
. 1t is ammusing to see "Slippery
Heel' try to do the agreeable to lady
on skates. He attempts to take her
hand and lead her gently forth Tor fifth,
as the numerical case may be- when
the treacherous irons run back without
any apparent reason, and in his efforts
to prevent falling back upon his nose,
he paws the air like an idolator trying
to propitiate his wooden god. Regain
ing his equilibrium, he cautiously ap-
proaches her again, and contrives to get |
possession of her hand. He studies his
steps very closely-nstnces them, as you
might say.
It's sort of ''little boats must keep
near the shore" style of skating. He
detects the foot nearest her in vicious
to trip the lady up, and just
barely illustrates it. Then the other
foot asserts its independence---or, per-
haps, don't ike to associate with foot
that would try to trip a lady-snd starts
of on little expedition of its own. A /
good deal of difficulty is encountered in
persusding the foot to abandon so rash
a step. And SO they go. He fears to
strike on-sure to strike on his nose
and if he stands still down he drops.
They think seriously of having the
ce cushioned SO as to break the fall.
Several have adopted the ingenious ex-
oedient of strapping their skates on their
znees. In this way they don't have so
ar to fall by two feet and half Of a leg
1t least. They don't need to practice
kating backward, all being backward
'haters from the first L
If a member is caught in the act of l
alling, no one is allowed to catch bin. l
Cold water is the only beverage al
owed. .Assoon as two Slippery Heels"
" pair Of them, if you will-taH IN to-
,ether, the zee being broken, they go
n cold water, all over.
"My dear, you are duck, says mas |
uline "Slippery Heel, languishing ion I
kates) in an enamored way by the side
f his inamorota.
"My dear, you are ducking,' replies
he lady as he glides into an air hole,
nd disappears. "Lost to sight, to :
memory, oh dear" q
We are promised the rules of the
Slippery Heels" which We shall take
leasure in publishing.