The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1867-08-14

explains the origin OF the manner IN
which printers are generally paid:
'Skinflint ruler of Squash heads, ;lav-
ing called the chief officers to him COM
manded them thus Go ye unto all
my dominions and command my people
to gather their treasures even to a far
thing, and pay all their debts even unto
the very smallest
The officers did as they were command
ed, and, after certain time, their ruler
called them again unto him, and demand
ed OF them how we'll his orders had been
obeyed.
oh, mighty Skinflint' they replied -
Your commands were heard THROUGHOUT
the land and fulfilled, for your people are
obedient.'
And is every debt paid?'
Yea, even unto the smallest
Are the merchant, the manufacturer,
the laborer paid?'
All paid
Are the tobacco and whiskey bills all
settled?
= tAll, all
and have my people been provided,
have they laid up enough to feed their
cats and dogs?'
Yes, they have done even this
Well, my people are worthy. Now
60 ye unto them, and if there be- any.
thing left, tell them to take it and PAY
TIE PRINTER.
We once heard m. old fellow, famous
for his tough yarns, tell the following
He was telling what heavy wheat he had
seen: .,. ....-- -, ~>-
TMy father" said he, t.once had field
of fwheat, the heads of which were so
close together, that the Wild turkies,
when they came to eat It, could walk
round on the top of it tanywhere."
1t was suggested thatthe turkies must
have been small ones.
"Ne," continued he, "they were very
large ones. I shot one of them one day,
and when took hold of his legs to carry
him. his head dragged in the snow be.
hind me-"
IA curious country you must have
had to have snow III harvest time"
.tWell,-I declare" said he looking a
little foolish, II reckon Pye got part Of
two stories mixed.n
A mother not long since was heard la
uenting the loss ofa child fone ofa family
of eight.9
rBecause," said she,, "there. was just
enough for acotillioB and they did dance
so prettily.
One who had espoased an old and ill.,
tempered wife, but extremely rich, used
to say: - <..--
"Wheneycr find my temper giving
way, retire to my study and console
myself by reading. her marriage settle
ment. -..-
Young men, if you wish to know what
is going on in this world, take news.
paper 1t will only deprive you Of few
drinks in the year, and may be. sf i'm
/ mense value 10 your home organ. 1t
fights your battles, and it should be paid
for 10 some manner. No charge for adj
vice. -.$3 per anmim for paper. -.<.-
An old parson, who was q good deal of
a Sag, once married u Mr.. Partridge to a
Miss Brace. The parents of The bride.
requested: that, he would. wind, up the
ceremony with q short prayer, which he
did-as follows: = - -.
.-"Goa bless this brace ofpartridges 20
sven YOU 'rc.a married man, Sammy,
you'll understand-a "a great many things
kyon don't understand, uow; but :vether
its worth vile going through SO. much to
learn so little, as the charity boy said
when he. got to the end Of the alphabet,
is matter of taste. "
A, country editor describing the sbon-
nets now In fashion, says :. They have a
downward slant that, reminds one of
vicious COW with a board across her eyes.
Shocking!
An exchange says that the girls ofa
neighboring city show their good sense"
by wearing short dresses: Here they
snow their ankles" =
Bismarck and Won Beust hold the re-
spectiye offices Of Reichskansler and Bun.
deskauzler-ifyoa know What thatis.
| =, Ho>~--