The Lancaster ledger. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1852-1905, 1867-08-07
S ? | G. E-B 0 x.

40 10 yourself.
Good impulses are naught, unless they
become actions.
Precarous STYLE OF life-dwelIing in
other peoples memory.
Misery loves company, and 80 does
marriagesbIe young lady.
General SckIes drives only black horses.
lie goes for the "aristocracy Of color"
A mar who shows no defect ia a foo
or a hypocrite, whom we should mis,rust
Why is a kitten in close, like a half
Handkerchief Because it's catty corner.
ed.
A woman took q second husband to
keep herself from fret,ing to death over
the loss Of the first one.
A Connecticut gentleman lost a set Of
false teeth hy incautiously sneeziug ou, of
car window.
How was Lots wife punished af;er che
ras turned into a pillar Of sal, The
cattle came anG hcked her.
He'e lies my wife, poor Molly le, her lie
She fnds repose at last-and 80 do I.
Nature, when she makes a beautiful
head, is so absorbed with admiration OF
her work, tha: she forge,s The brains let
bomsly girls take courage.
You may wish to get wife without a
failing, but what if the woman, after you
find her, happens to be in want Of hus
band OF the same charactsrf
De Quincy being asked why there were
more women than men, replied: tits in
conformity with the arrangements OF Ma,
tu-e; we always see more OF Heaven than
Of Earth.
"Sam. are you one Of the Southern
ehiyalry9"
mo, massa; Use one oh de Southern
ehove!ry. l shoveled dirt at the Dutch
Gap Canal.
Weak doses Of washboard are now
recommended to ladies who complain of
dyspepsia. Young men troubled in the
same way may be cured by a strong pre-
para,ion of wood.saw.
"1s your brother in law really such a
lazy mar T. asked one gentleman Of ano,
ther.
"Lazy" was the reply; "why he's so
lazy that he has an arts, employed by
the month to draw his breath with cray.
on"
'Ob, dear !" blubbered out a Young
Jonathan, suffering from the application
Of birch-"Oh my they tell me that
forty rods make furlong, but let them
get such pauged licking as I've had.
and they'll say one rod makes an (schsr)
acre."
81 say, San5o, does you know what
makes de corn grow so fast when you
put de manure on itr
"No, don't, hardly"
"Now, III jus. tell ye. When de corn
begins TO smell de manure, it don't ike
de fsmery ard hurries out OF de ground
A DARKEY's OPINIoE-De truf is, de !
white folks feels above US, and as dey see |
we is eben wild 'em. /, kind ob aggravates
dem. And as TO de Yankees, dey are
worse dan our folks. A Yankee nebber
knows when to stop axn.a nigeer to work
and when de end OBJ de year comes. an
you AK him for money, bless de Lord,
you owes him.
An Irshmap having accidentally bro.
ken pane in house on Washington at
attempted, as fast as he could, to get on.
ofthe way, bu, ne was followed and se;s.
cd by the proprietor, who exclaimed
"You broke my window, fsi.ow, did |
you mott
ITO be sure did, an' didu't you see
me running home for the money 10 pay
for it?'
Somebody proposes that the ladies' be
taxed as follows:
For any unfair device for eutrspping
young men into matrimony, such ss pat.
ent palpitators. fsiss calves, ETC., I've dol
lars. For wearing hoops largsr than Ave
'set diameter. eight cents for esch hoop.
Ssch pretty lady to be taxed from 2o
cesfsS,o t25r, shs to fx the estimsts Of
lssx fjxa beauty. It ia thousht . large