The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1867-03-21
MRS, CRUDLE'S CURTAIN LECTURES.
Ontinued from our last issue.
THE TWENTYFOURTH LECTURE.


MRS. oAUDLB so Gill WITH THE SEA" THAT
THEY PUT UP AT THE DOLPHIN, HERNE BAY.
"Caudle, have you looked under the bed
What for? Bless the man Why, for thieves,
to be sure. Do you suppose I'd sleep in a
strange bed, without? Don't tell me its non.
sense shouldn't sleep a wink all night
Not that you'd care for that not that you'd
hush I'm sure heard somebody. No
it's not bit like a mouse. Yes that's like
you-laugh. 1t would be no laughing matter
n-Pm sure there Is somebody I'm sure
there is
- eyes, Mr.. Caudle; now, am satisfied.
Any other man would have got up and looked
himself; especially after my suferings on
board that nasty ship. But catch you stir
ring Oh, no You'd let me lie here, and be
robbed and killed, for what YOU care. Why.
you're not going to sleep What do you
/ say rs the st dnge air-and you're ol,CayS
sleepy IN strange air? That shews the feel
ings you have, after what I've gone through.
And yawning, too, in that brutal manner
Caudle, you've no more heart than that
wooden figure in white petticoat at the front
of the ship.
'No; ! couldn't leave my temper at home.
dare say Because for once in your life
you've brought me out-yes, | say once, or
two or three times it isn't more-because, as
! say, you once bring me out, Pm to be a
slave and say nothing. Pleasure, indeed A
great de9l of pleasure Pm to have, if Pm to
hold my tongue. nice way that of pleasing
awoman.
''Dear me ! if the bed doesn't spin round
and dance about Pve got all that filthy ship
in my headl No. l shan't be well in the
morning. But nothing ever ails anybody but
I yourself. You needn't groan in that way, Mr..
CAudle, disturbing the people, perhaps, in the
next room. It's a mercy Pm alive, Pm sure.
Ii once | would MT have given all the world
for anybody to have thrown me overheard
What are you smacking your lips at Mr..
Caudle But | know what you mean-Of
course, you'd never have stirred to stop 'em:
not you. And then you might have known
that the wind would have blown to-day; but
that's why you came.
"Whatever should have done if it hadn't
been for that good sOul-that blessed Captain
y Large Pm sure all the women who 90 to
Margate ought to pray for him. so attentive in
sea-sicllness, and so much of a gentleman
: How should have got down stairs without
him when first began to turn, l don't know.
Don't tell me l never complained to you-you
might have seen was i'll. And when every
lady was looking like bad wax-candle, you
could walk about, and make what you call
your jokes upon the little buoy that was never
] sick at the More, and such unfeeling trash.
eyes, Caudle we've now been married
many years, but if we were to live together
for thousand years to come-what are you
clasping your hands at "a thousand years to
come, | say, shall yer forget your conduct
this day. You could go to the other end of
the ship and smoke cigar, when you knew l
should be ill-oh, you knew it (; for | always
am. The brutal way, too, in which you took
that cold brandy and-wateI-you thought |
didn't see you but i'll as l was, hardly able
to hold my head up, was watching you all
the time. Three glasses of cold brandy-and-
water; and you slipped 'em, and drank the
health of people you didn't care pin about;
whilst the health of your own lawful wife was
nothing. Three glasses of brandy and water,
and left-as / may say-alone You didn't
hear 'em, but everybody was crying shame of
you.
''What do you say9 A good deal my o,cn
fault? / took too mach diuner? Well, you are
man If l took more than the breast and
leg of that young goose-a thing, l may say,
. Just out of the shell-with the slightest bit of
stuffng, Pm wicked woman. What do you
say? Lobster salad La l-how can you
speak of it? A nonth-old baby would have
eaten more. What? GOoSeb 11Ty pie? Well,
\ if you'll name that, you'll name anything
a Ate too much, indeed Do you think | was
! going to pay for dinner and eat nothing
No, Mr.. Caudle; it's good thing for you that
/ know little more of the value of money
\ than that.
'But, of course, you were better engaged
than in attending to me. Mr.. Prettyman
came aboard at Gravesend A planned thing,
of course. You think didn't see MN give
= YOU letter. II 10 .Sn't a letter.; IL VGS Re1CS-
paper? l dare say i'll as l was had my
eyes. 1t was the smallest newspaper that
ever saw, that's all. But, of course, letter
from Miss Prettyman- Now, Caude, if you
begin to cry out in that manner, I'll get up.
3 Do you forget that YOUR not at your own
house making that noise Disturbing every
bodyl Why, we shall have the landlord up
9 And you could smoke and drink forward as
you called it. What You couldn't smoke
anlnoEere else? That's nothing to do with it.
Yes forward. What pity that Miss Pretty
man wasn't with you Pm sure nothing
y could be too forward for her. No, won't
hold my tongue and / ought not to be
ashamed of myself. 1t isn't treason, is it, to
speak of Miss Prettyman After all Pve suf-
= fered to-day, and Pm not to open my lips
Yes Pm to lie brought away from my own
home dragged down here to the seaside ano
made ILL., and Pm not to speak. should like
to krow what next.
SITS mercy that some of the--dear children
were not drowned not that their father
would have cared, so long as he could have
his brandy and cigars. Peter was as neal
through one of the holes as-H'S no such thing
IT'S very well for you to say so, but you know
what an inquisitive boy he is, and how ht
likes to wander among steam-engines No,
M won't let YOU sleep. What man you are
what pUe said that before? That's no mat
ter: IN say it again. Go to sleep, indeed
as if one could never have little rationa
conversation. No, sha'n't be too late for tn
Maroate boat in the morning can wake ~
At what hour like and you ought to knoN
~ that bv this time.