Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1867-12-06
NUMBER SO.


Ais sfsusin .lhe hknthihsi hhu neAru In the
Twas allotted q man FROM HIS earliest breath,
II assists at his birth, and attends him at
Tis the prop Of his house. and the end OF hi;
In the heap of the mlser It's boarded with
Il begin. every nope every sry's wish Il itius.
IT prass with the hermit. with monarch. i.
without it Tie seaman aud soldier may roam.
Butwoe to the wretch that expels IL from
In the whispers OF conscience It's sure to be
Not ,.,I cen in IN the whiriwind Of passion !.
Twill soften the heart, and though deaf to the
Twill make IL aeu,eiy and constantly heart
But in short lot Il rest like . beautiful dow!
toh breathe on II sos,iyo for IL dies In al
Things Wise * Ctlncrvvise.
Nothing but good life can at men
Why Is a man ascending vesavius
like an lrlshman trying 10 kiss a pret-
~ girP Because he wants TO get at the
crater's mouth.
We start in life with a great stock Of
wisdom, but II grows less and less the
further we go.
Daniel Webster, likened the wor.
would" In Rufus Choate's hundwris
ting, TO a small gridiron struck by
lightning.
A young wife being asked what she
should do In case her husband should
fail, replied: Live on our arms, TO be
H.. Il. A.
hands mt the end of them" We will
risk that couple.
a Providence boy, Ave years of age;
having stolen n can of milk, his moth
er took him to task with moral sua-
sion, and wound up lrer dscousse by exa
claiming: "Whnt in the world were
you going to do with the milk any
how?" II was going To steal little
dog to drink it," was the crushing re-
ply. ..
An anecdote II told of clergyman
who gave notice one Sunday, from his
pulpit, that he expected 20 go, in tho
course of the following week, on
mission among the heather. After the
service his parishioners came 10 him
and said: "Why, nay dear sir, you
have never hinted word Vt this To us
your absence 2" 20, my brethren,n
replied the minister, "be not troubled
don't expect to leave town on my
mission"
Among the Brahmins, the waist be-
fore eating is girdled with single
straw. When the stomach is Tiled, the
straw breaks, aud the Brahmin stops
eating. Thus q straw shows in what
way TIM prtth unna VIZ Annht Y th..
plan would prove efIicacious as an anti.
dyspeptic In tItis latitude. For the av-
erage American appetite would not
only disdain To be fettered by a straw,
but the average American would con-
tinue To eat, if so inclined, though all
the buttons OF waistband and waist
coat were 10 pop off In sonorous sue
cession Of snaps.
Rev. Newman Hall, fEnglisl) says
he has seen but three or four drunken
men i'm America; In England he saw
as maHy nightly. Bishop Clark says:
I'm the five months / have been alb
sent, | have never seen In Great Brit
ain or Europe. four men or a single wo-
man intoxicated. There is more drunk
enness In the United States than Is To
be found among the same number OF
people anywhere else on the face OF the
earth" Apr0pos of this difference of
opinion, Ii Is asked: do reverend
travellers move In better society abroad
than at home.
A young man who carried col,ec.
ton plate ut service, In one of the Oma-
ha churches, before starting, took from
his pocket i've cent piece, as he sup
posed, put 10 I'm the plate. and then
passed u around among the congrega-
ton. which included many young girls.
The girls as they looked ut the plate,
all seemed astoiiished and amused; and
the man taking glance at the plate,
found that, instead OF q nickle Ave cent
piece, he had put conversation ioz-
enge on the plate with the words,
viii you marry me?n In red letters,
staring everybody In the face.
A newlyrmarried couple were lately
present at q revival meeting in Penn
sylvania, and during the exercises,
from some caiise or other, the bride
tainted. Intense excitement followed,
I'm the midst OF which an old gentle
man, noted for his antipathy to tight.
lacing, general hardness of heart, and
baa habit OF suffering, cried out at
the top Of his voice to the distressed
husband, who was holding his fainting
wife in his arms" "A a-a-a-roii. d--n
IL, m-man, take out your knife, and
c-c-c.cut her lacers!p "A general roar
of laughter followed. even from the
most sedate, but the new-riade hus-
band adopted tire prescription on the
instaift, aud With success.
There is something cad In the follow.
ing passage from letter by the Paris
correspondent of the Dublin HisJtmo6s.
II met three Irish American officers OF
distinguished service here In Paris, du-
ring the last year. I wifi give YOU am
example of the luxury in which th&
were living. Their breakfast cost
nothing, for they lay In bed I'LL dinner
hour; their dinners cost Ave SOUS, that
is, about two and half pence their
sdpDers were made up Off tile remains
Of their dinnefs. The last saw Of
Captain c., OF Corcoran's Legion,
was when lie Was leaving for London
OF money lent him by friend ofinine;
the last time heard Of Captain e.,
of the 1rirh Brigade, he was seeking
employment rs u common laborer in
tile Exposition the last occasion on
which met the gallant Captain B..
of the Federal Engineers, he had his
earthly goods wrapped up In half
sheet of newspaper, and did not know
where he would lay hts head on that
night"
"A Wires PRAYER.--If there In any
tlHng that comes nearer To the implora-
tions Of Naomi than the susjoined, we
have not seen It,:
Lord bless and protect that dear per-
son whom Thou hast chosen to be nv
husband, let Ills life be long aud bless
Ell, comfortable and holy and let me
also become great blessing aud COM
fort upon him, a sharer In all his sor-
rows q meet hnIurr In all tie acl.idarta