North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-09-11

And after long years when Pat handsomely drest-
smart footman--is asked to determine
or all earthly things what's the thing he likes best
lie says, iOch shure, the masters ould sermon !!
A "Reminiscences.
Away back in history-say in 1864,
gentleman of Prairie du Chen, then al
army officer, now a successful lawyer O
Green 90. Wis, scolded the junior of thi
paper because he voted for Mcclellan. .--
The scolding was done with pen, but i
was SO amusingly well-done that we print
ed it. The printing surprised the author
and another missile was hurled at us tn,
most of it will be found below. Its begin
ming we omit-its date is not important
its facts and its advice to publishers are sc
keenly true and appropriate that we re-
print from an old issue. The humor o
the first paragraphs takes all the political
sting away. Col. B. why don't you spread
yourself at us more frequently
Some how or other, newspaperly speak
ing, feel neighborly and tenderly drawn
towards the TINES. like it as the Hoo
sier liked his beverage, forgetting the
strychnine and thinking only Of the rye
In fact, think the TINES fxture-it will
endure as long as the time, times and hall
| time, mentioned in Scripture. / expec,
JOHN will be Senior Editor away long in
the generation hence, when, with grand
child or two on his knee, he will welcome
to his ''frosty pow" that dimming of the
faculties which will enable him to forget
he ever voted for Mcclellan. You and I,
COLONEL, snug in Heaven, of course, read.
ing Gobsiers Morning Chronicle and sing.
ing the Doxologyl
like the TINES because it understands
the secrcs of being local paper. It Is
LOCAL. A thoroughly McGregorly pro-
duction, designed for home consumption,
and full of matter pertaining to things in,
around, about and circumjacent thereto.
1t has q smack Of idiosyncrasy so Pat
Richardson-ic, so John Andrickized-i YOU
please, that one recognizes in it the every
daysical features Of neighbors with some
faults to make US like 'em, and many vir-
tues, with genial ways, and individuality
set off by some crotchets not loved of men
nor angels, but still an unconscionable
part to make up q Sanctum. 4s a7s
And here let me read lecture to coun-
try newspapers. The brick-bats of the
Press have ratified against the panes Of ev-
cry known institution now let 'em look
out for their own windows | .staa .sa
| learned to read out of a country news
paper and from my A-B-C-hood have look
ed very kindly into their internal anatomy.
| once tried my hand at editing one bu
the solemn question of bread and-butter
turned my every editorial smile into a sick
ly grin. l quit the business for want of
sufficient religion ! l couldn't I" consider
the lilies" while the patches accumulated
on my elbows, and Sit-down-tery organs
which the epaalettes of general shabbiness
dangled from every angle of my corporeal
self. Tom. Marshall, you know, said that
nobody who knew how to write, ever edit
ed a country paper except now and then a
''man of genius reduced to desperation. y
Being neither genius nor desperate,
sent in my "waledictory" and the small
loss the Press suffered was my substantial
gain. s tzf
But to my lecture. Country newspapers,
rs general thing, are just fit for old wo-
men to wrap up their herbs in-that is all.
And why? They are conducted on the
wrong plan. Look into one. The edito-
rial is a commendation of the Powers that
be, or TRADE against them, and subscri-
bers will please pay up. A little advice to
the President and few cords of wood wan
ted on subscription. A scold Mt Congress
enjoining them to CAB little and grab less,
and county produce taken on subscrip-
tion.G An endorsement of the consummate
strategy of the general of the hour, and a
fling ut the one endorsed last week, and
our new jobber works to a charm. The
startling, but chronic, announcement that
we are on the eve of great events. The
situation is imminent and we shall see what
we shall see, and owing to the illness of
our devil, we 90 to press an hour too late
this week. For the "Miscellany"-A sto-
ry-the Lord knows who wrote it fag
end of history-the Lord knows whether
true /; scrap from Beecher, Artemas
Ward or Petroleum B. Nasty who furnish
the pepper and|salt nowadays; an account
of the moral development of the Fejees
and Kangaroos, a recipe for making por-
ridge an account of happy husband
presented with three babies at one bo,ming,
all well at last accounts. Then the ''Agri-
cultural y how to sow turnips, when to
salt cattle J; the effect of buttermilk on
spring calves clippings Of which the ed
tor has read only by the titles
Now for the local. By the way, we
learn when the paper is published, ''every
Friday" by the Capitals under the title.--
The column of "Local Matters i'll
titled patch, like horse e;jockey's garden.
ovcrrun with new advertisements, and puffs
to freshen stale ones-tells that somebody
has laid q big egg on the EDITORS table,
and another body, the atlantic Monthly;
that three or four merchants have just got
on stocks Of goods each Of which is the
best and cheapest ever brought into town ;
that the printer was remembered by some
girl when she made her wedding-cake, and
he wishes her long and happy welded
life, but is too bashiul to wish her.N boun-
tiful crop Of babies as a sensible man
should.
Next we strike out into the waste, sand
deserts Of advertisements, where shiftin 9
place continually there is always the same
sand, the most sparkling grains Of which
are the old mans sands Of life which have
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