The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1867-02-07
A Marriage Ceremony.

A jolly fellow, somewhere In Illinois,
having been appointed justice of the
peace, was called upon to perform mar
riage ceremony, and thus relaters how
he managed if:
Having been appointed to the desira-
able ''posish" of justice of the peace, I
was accosted on the 5th day of July, by
sleek looking young man, and 10 slivery
tones requested to proceed to neishbor-
ing hotel, as he wished to enter into the
holy bonds of matrimony. Here was
"squelcher." had never done ANYTHING
of the kind, and had no books or forms
yet l was determined to do things up
strong and in legal manner, SO [ pro-
eeeded to the hotel, bearing in my arms
a copy of the Revised Statutes, one ditto
Webster's Unabridged Dictionary, one
copy large sized Bible, small copy of the
Creeds and Articles of Faith of the Con-
gregational Church, one copy of Pope's
Essay on Man, and sectional part of the
Map where the victim lived Having
placed a table in the middle of the room
and seated myself behind it, 1, in trump
ct tones, called the case. With that the
young man aud woman with great alac--
rity, stepped up before me- Having
sworn them on the dictionary, to answer
well and truly all the questions I was to
ask, proceeded. [ told the young man,
that being an entire stranger, 1 should
have to ask him to give bail for the costs
Having heard this SO frequently in court
[ thought it Indispensable. He answered
| if | meant the fee for performing the GER
emony he would deposit it then and there.
As L did not exactly know what was do
ing, | magnanimously waived that por-
tlon of the ceremony. | then told him it
would be necessary to give bail to keep
the peace, This he said he was willing
to do when he arrived at home, and L
then waived that point also.
Having established to my satisfaction
that they wanted to get married, and that
they were old enough to enter in that
blessed state, 1 proceeded to tie the knot
| asked him if he was willing to take that
woman to be his wife. He said he was.
| told him did not require haste in the
answer-that he might reflect few min
utes if he wished. 1 told him she looked
like a 6ne GIRL and [ had no doubt she
was, but if the sequel proved that he had
been taken in, did not want to be held
responsible. said he must love, honor
and obey her as long as she lived. He
must not be "snappy" around the house,
nor spit tobacco juice on the floor; all of
which he promised faithfully to heed
"Now," said to her, "you hear what
he says Do you accept the invitation to
become his wife-will you be enieut to-
wards his faults and cherish his virtues
will you never be guilty of throwing fur
niture at his head for slight offences, and
will you get three meals day without
grumbling ?" She said would. ask
ed them if they believed in the command
ments, and they said yes. Having read
the creed aud articles of faith, as afore-
said | said TO the man, take her, she is
yours, I cannot withhold my consent. l
said to the girl, when safe in the arms of
your liege lord you can defy the scoHs
and jeers of the world. then read lit
tie from the Essay on Man, including that
passage "Man wants but little here below,
but wants that little long" As final to
the scene, delivered the following ex-
ordium, ..Go in peace. sin 10 more"
The generous groom having placed
fifty cent check in my unwilling palm,
bade the happy pair final adieu.
| Oh of