Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1867-02-28
ssriasgetss Account of Her Inter.
view with the Dentist.

"Well, Bridget" says Margery, show
did we get along with the docthur-fwat
did ye saytill him, and fwat did he do till
Bridget" ITS. nothing he did till me, nor
l till him, that's all--only says /, Och,
docthur, docthur, dear, it's me tooth that
aches intirely, sure it is and I've a mind to
have it dhrawn out av it PLACE ye.' Do it
pain ye p says he till me- Och murther,
can yeax me that, now, an me all the way
down here to seeye about it, says l. Sure
haven't slept day or night, these three
days. Haven't I tried all names to quiet
the ju1npin' diyil? Didn't they tell me to
put raw brandy in my mouth, but would it
stay there, jist tell me now? No, the divil
bit could | keep it up in my mouth,
though it's far from the likes O me to be
drinking the brandy without extreme
provocation, or by accident. So then the
dccthur took his iron instruments in a
hurry, with as little consarnment of mind
as Barney would swape the knives and
forks from the table. 'sBe aisy, docthur,
says l, there's time enough; you'll not be
in such hurry when your time comes, I'm
thinking Och, well,' says the docthur,
an av yer not ready now, we may come
on the morrow Indade, docthrr, I'll not
stir from this safe wild this ould tooth alive
in me jaw says I, so we may just pre-
pare, but We made not come slashing at a
poor Christian body as av We would wiring
her neck off first, an dhraw her tooth at
yer convaynience afterwards. Now clap
on yer pinchers, but mind we get hould av
the right one-ye may aisily see it by the
aching an jumping Oh says he, I'll
get the right one and wild that he iabs a
small, razor-looking weapon Until me mouth
an cuts up me gooms as av it was nothing
but cowld mate for hash for breakfast. Says
/, 'Docthur, thunder an blood for my
mouth was full Of blood fwat in the divil
are We afther? Dye, want to make an
anatomy av Twin craythur, We grave-rob-
Der, YEP Sit still,' says he, :jamming
something like corkscreW Until me jowl
an twisting the very sowl out av me. /
sat still becase the ,murthering thafe held
me down wild his knee and the grippe av his
iron in me lug. He thin gave an awful
wiring, hard enough to wiring wet blanket
as dhry as gunpowdther. Didn't think
the day of Judgment had come, tell me !?
Didn't see the red fire in the pit ? | felt
my head fly off me shoulders, and, looking
up, saw something monsthrous bloody in
the docthur's wrenching iron. Is that me
head we have got there ]? says I. mo, it's
only yer TOOTH he made answer. /" May
be it is said I, as my eyes began to open,
and, by putting my hand up, 1 found the
outside av me face on, thought felt as if
all the inside had been hauled out. l had
taken a dollar and a half to pay for the
operation, thinking it would be enough for
a poor woman to pay; but l Thought I'd
just ak him the price. So says |, Docthur,
how much may We AK beside the trouble 2
+s fo,D
+ Sure, have not been submitting three
days to that tyrant av a tooth for fifty
cints? Troth, this same tooth-pulling is
not very expensive, and I'm much Obliged
till we, dOcthur'' y e5Hs3a4 dl :9idalga
Margery-"o But where's the tooth; yer
should have brought it home and dipped it
into salt and flung it over yer left shoulder
into the fire 3 yell have bad luck all the
rest of yer life" .sft...
Bridget" The divil take the tooth, and
the bad luck, too, if ever think of it any
more. Sure I've had enough of its com
pany." D,i.e.t .5s. .,i ri lesgi.i s4.,,
A SAFE AFFAIR-A California man has
been reading in a scientific journal an ac-
count of a curious and recent invention
designed to catch safe burglars. The
depredator no sooner commences, in per-
feet ignorance of the secret arrangements,
to force open the door, drill the lock, or
move the safe, than by SO doing he sends a
Geographic dispatch to the nearest police
office, exhibiting the number, registered in
the police books, of the house in which the
robbery is being effected, 4 .ss
The California man observed: "That' s
nothing to a safe which we are credibly as
sured has been recently perfected in this
place. As soon as burglar tackles this
safe, an instantaneous photograph Of his
phiz is taken and transmitted to the owner
of the safe, wherever he may be. The
burglars name is also registered in Halves
Great Register, and a complete description
of him forwarded to the police headquar-
tiers. In addition, a copy of Bunyan's Pill
-grim's Progress is extended towards the
burglarious Individual, and at the same
time adoubfe- barreied shot gun shoots him
dead in his tracks.
--e-s -
THE Boston Transcript says, the rumor
that A TT Toe Esq has rendered the