Daily Davenport Democrat. [volume] (Davenport, Iowa) 1864-1874, 1867-05-13

Aae Do0 Isteono DOy-A C01aHoTs
nana 0eory.
Mark Twain, the California humerist.
tells che following stosy Of the dad little
boy"
Once there was bad little boy whose
name was Jim-though If you will notice
you will find that bad little boys are nearly
all called James in your Sunday school o.s
u was very strange, but still it was true,
that this one was called Jim. lie didn't
have any sick mother either - n sick
mother who was pious and had the con-
sumption, aud would be glad 10 lie down 10
the grave and be at rect, but for the strong
love she bore her boy, and the anxiety she
felt that the world would not be harsh and
cold towards him whom she vas gone. Most
Of the bad boys in the Sunday -school books
are named James, sod hsvs sick mothers to
teach them ssy Nov lay me down to
sleep" sts, end sing them 1" sleep with
sweet plainsivs voices, and kiss them COED
night, end knssl down BY the bedside and
weep. But il was different with this fellew.
as vas named jim, and there want any :.
thing The matter with bic nother--no ccs>
sumption nor nything Of that kind. sne
was rather stout than otherwise ana -
was not pieus; moreover. shs @as nos -
ious on Jim's account, sss said u ne vese
10 break his neck. 10 couldn't Be much Iosss
she always spanked him TO sleep. ana sne
never ksscd BIN good night: on the eos>
trarv abe boxed h,s ears when she was
ready 20 leave him.
OSce this little bad boy stole key 10
the pantry, and slipped in there and helped
himself 70 some jam, and filled the vessel
with tar, 40 that his mother wouldn't know
the difference but all at once terrible
feeling didn't come over Kim, and some
kthing didn't seem to whisper TO him, is it
right 10 disoSey my mother? Isn't il sins
full to do this Where do bad little boys
90 TO who gobble up their good. kind meth
crs' jamy' And then he didn't kneel down
all alone and promise never TO be wicked
any more, and rise up with . light, happy
heart and go and tell his mother all aboat
it, and beg her forgivsasss, and b blessed
by her with teoss 81 pride and thank fulness
in her eyes. No; that 10 the way with al
other bad boys in the booka. but II hap
pencil otherwise with this jim, strangely
enough. He ate the jam and said il was
bully, in his sinful, vulgar way; and he
put IN the ter, and said that VA bully too
and laughed, and obsssvsd that the "old
woman would get up and snort" when she
found il out and when che did 0nd u oul
he denied knowing enything abeut u. and
she whipped him severely, and hs DID the
crying himself Every thing sbout THE boy
was susious-sv thing turned out differ
entity with him from the way u dess with
tho bad James in The books. Onos hs
climbsd Up farmer Acosn's apple tsss "a
steal apples, end the limb didn's 6esak, Asd
hs didn't fall down and break bic erin, and
get torn BY the farmers dog, and then Ian.
guish on . sick bed for weeks and repent
and become good. Oh, no; he stole q
many - he wanted. end came down oil
right, md be wss oil ready fss the dog. too
md ksoeked him endways With rock when
no came 10 tear him.
Il va vssy strange -Usshiag Nike n 10
those mild little looks with marblsd backs,
and with pictures In them Of uen with swsl.
low tailed coats asd bell crowned hats, and
pantaloons that are Short in the legs, and
women with the waists Of their dresses I'm
der their arms, and no hoops on. Nothing
like IL in any Of tho Sunday school books
Once DO stole tho teachers penknifs, ant
when he was afraid il would be found out
AID he would get whipped, he slipped it in
70 George Wilson's cap-poor widow Will
sons son, the moral boy, the good little boy
Of the village, who always obeyed his moth
err. aud never told an untruth, and was fond
OF his lessons, and infatuated with Sunday
school. And when the knife dropped from
the cap and poor George hung his head ant
bIished, ms If III conscious guilt, and the
gTicvsd teacher charged the theft upon him
and was just in the vsr, act Of bringing Ia,
switch down upon his trembling shoulders
a white haired improbable justice of tn,
peace did not suddenly apr ear in their mds
and strike an attitude and say, Spare thi.
noble boy-therc stands the covering cul-
pr.! | was passing the school door Ut ~,
cess, and. unseen myself, saw the thief
committed p" And then Jim didn't ge
whslsd. and the venerable justice didn'
read the fearful school homily, and tax,
George BY the hand and say such boy do
serves to be exalted, and then tell him Il
como and make hia home with him, and
sweep out the Office, aud make Rses, AMI
run srrands, and chsp wood, and study Law
and help his wife 10 do household labors
and have all the balance Of the time &c
play.
No. Il would have happened that way In
the books, but il didn't happen that way "a
jim. No meddiing old clam Of q justice
dropped In to make trouble, and 90 the mo,
del boy, Georgo, got thvashed, and Jim ha
ted moral boys. Jim said no was down OF
them milksops." Such was tho coarse Ian.
euage OF this bad, neglected boy. But the
strangest thing that ever happened to Jim
was the time when he went boating On Sun.
day aud didn't get drowned, and that other
time that he got caught ont in the storm
when he was fishing on Sunday, and didn't
get struck by lightning.-Why you might
look. and look, through the Sunday school
books, from now till next Christmas, and
you would never come across anything like
this. oh, no you would not find that all
the bad boys who 20 boating on Sunday
invariably get drowned and all the
bal boys who get cauget out in storms,
when they are fishing on Sunday, invaria !
bly, get struck by lightning. Boats with
bad boys IN them always upset on Sunday
and Is a'ways storms whtu bad boys 60
fishing ON the Sabbath. How this Jim ever
escaped is mystery to me. This Jim bore
charmed life-that must have been the
way Of it. Nothing could hurt him. He
even gave the eiephsnt in the menaeeric a
plug Of tobacco. and the elephant didn't
knock the top Of his head OF with histrunk.
lie browssd around the cupboard after es>
sencs Of psppsrment and didn't make
mistake and drink aqua fortis-
He stole bio fatAsra gun ed vent :
hunting on the S&bbaah, and didn't shoot
three q four fingers oi. He struck bis
little eistsr On the tsopls With his iist when
be Vas aassy. and shs didn'S lingsr in pain
thrss0A leng sU0mss days and die with
sweet woods Of fssgivsnsss upon her lips
that redoublsd the anguish Of bic breaking
heart Ne--shs Ct ovse 4 He m d
and weut'to - % lest, and didn't come
back and dad hinsslf sad aad alone In ths
world, his lsssd esss aslssp 10 the quiet
shurchyard, asd the vine sebswsssa hone
Of bic boyh4od tuuAlsd dswn sd eeae =
decay. A. no; y 60 49, d1ssk "a
pipes, - Got iaae ~ sAal1ooNksuse -
nret thing. And be g,sR Up, nd aassisd
end saiasd las4e iAnilR. ona hssiood them
al with ~ axe oAp night and go1 wealthy
by all mauass Il eheASing end rascalisy,
end nos he l. The infersalist, wickedesc
scouaassl in his native village. and i uni
vsrsally respected. and belongs 70 the leeis.
iasurs. So you zee there never vas . bad
James in che Sunday school books that had
such streak Of luck as this sinful Jim With
the charmed life.