Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1867-07-19
SCraps.

The vast resources OF this country will
crop out this year more than ever before.
Raymond Of the New York Times thinks
that Greeley sympathizes with the apostolic
prayer, - would that all men were even as
am, ereePt these bonds
What two sciences are employed by team
sters IN driving oxen? Halc-ticulture and
geology.
When did Ruth treat BJaz roughly 3?
When she pulled his ears and troi upon his
corn.
They tell of one OF the uuterriGed at
Bridgeport, Ct, who was especially eager to
see the Presidential party, exc!aiming, as be
rushed up to the car, e.. don't care shucks
about johnson; it's Parsou Nasty that
want to see
OF two New York hiiez, one attend
cd at the aristocrauc Grace Church, and the
other at the humble St. Paul's, the form
er, one Sunday morning, sent a request to
the latter, her friend, that she would 20 70
church with her, to which she replied that
she would have been happy To do 50, only
that she " was dressed Tor 81, Pulls
A French journal gives an amusing illus
tratiOn of the familiar truth that e. accounts
differ. By careful study Of the Cretan
dispatches /. has ascertaIned that the total
loss OF the turks during the present insur-
rection has been 500 200 men OF the IN
surgents 10 men. similar computation,
founded upon the Turkish dispatches. gives
A Cretan loss Of 3 900 900 men at the lowest
figures, against Turkish loss Of five
A father Of three sons and five daughters
was asked what family he had. The answer
was. =. l have three sons and they each have
FIVE sisters" Mercy ;" replied the inter-
rogator, - sich a family ye maun have ''
\ Leayenworth paper, in urging enlist
ment in a Kansas regiment about TO be rails
ed to fight Indians, says: =. The service Will
last for three or four months only. and viii
be a source Of health, pleasure and profit to
all who enlist.
Children shouldn't chew candy favored
with tOrpedoes. \ child in Connecticut did
so the other day. losing three teeth and hav-
Ing its lips badly torn.
A clerical gentleman observes that dane
ing has tendency to ''shriyel up a mans
dignity and reduce society TO nonentitY."
1t also affects shirt-collars.
4 young man called at the City Clerks
office in New Bedford, day or two since,
and asked for a death warrant" The as
tonished clerk assured him that he dealt in
no such documents. "Well, said the fell
low, ''giye me a marriage certificate; it
amounts to the same thing" The Mercury
hopes that youth will catch a tartar.
''Sir - said the victim Of an assault,
did you mean it when you kicked me
down stairs, or was 1t practical JOKE p
Il meant it, sir - was the immediate re-
spouse,
Il am glad to hear it, - was the rejoinder;
IL don't like such practical jokes"
Speaking Of woman's suffrage a contem-
pOrary says that the better portion of the
women Of America are quite content with
their privilege of putting their chignons at
the head Of their polls and have no desire
to NEEDLE with those privileges which are
at present reserved for the use of the males.
No fly will light on the window which has
heen washed with water in which a little
garlic has been boiled.
To keep bunch Of matches burning on
the window sill will have the same effect.
Many whisky drinkers morning reHec-
tons, on Friday, as the first CLEAN OF return
ing consciousness revealed to him the inner
walls of station house cell were undoubted-
ly expressed in single word, terse and en-
phatic, ''Cus( s)tod(dly."-PrOr. Journal