The Wyandot pioneer. (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1853-1868, 1867-11-14
MARK TWAIN IN THE ORR
ENT.
correspondence New York Tribune,l

ell, want tourist for breakfast
!, For years and years and years
have dreamed of the wonders Of the
Turkish bath for years and years
have promised myself that | would
yet enjoy one. Many and many a
time, in fancy, I have lain in the
marble bath, and breathed the slum-
brous fragrance of Eastern spices
that filled the air; then passed
through weird and complicated sys-
tenn of pulling and hauling, and
drenching and scrubbing, by gang
of naked savages who loomed vast
and vaguely through the steaming
mist like demons; then rested for a
while on a divan fit for king then
passed through another complex or
deal, and one more fearful than the
first; and finally, swathed in sof7
fabrics, was conveyed to princely
saloon and laid on a bed of elder
down, where enuchs, gorgeous of
costume famed me while l drowsed
dreamed, or contentedly gazed at the
rich hangings of the apartment, the
soft carpets, the sumptous furniture,
the pictures; and drank the deli
cious coffee, smoked the soothing
narghlli, and dropped, at the last,
into tranquil repose, lulled by SEN
suous odors from unseen censers, by
the gentle influence Of the narghilTs
Persian tobacco, and by the music
Of fountains that counterfeited the
pattering of summer rain.
That was the picture, just as I got
it from incendiary books of tcavel
It was poor, miserable fraud
The reality is no more like it than
the FIVE points are like the Garden
of Eden. They received me in a
great court, paved with marble slabs );
around it were broad galleries, one
above another, carpeted with seedy
mating, rallied with unpainted bal
ustrades, and furnished with huge,
rickety chairs, cushioned with rusty
old mattresses indented with i'm
pressions left by the forms of nine
successive generations of men who
had reposed upon them. The place
was vast, naked, dreary; it's courts
barn, its galleries stalls for human
horses. The cadaverous, half nude
varlets that served in the establish
,ment had nothing Of poetry in their
appearance, nothing of romance,
nothing of Oriental splendor. They
shed no entrancing odors-just the
contrary Their hungry eyes and
their lank forms continually sHg-
gested one glaring, unsent.mental
fact, they wanted 'square meal"
Iwentup into one of the rocks
and undressed. An unclean starvel
ing wrapped a guady table cloth
about my loins, and hung a white
cloth over my shoulders If L had
had TUB then, it would have come
natural to me to take in Washing
/ was then conducted down stairs
into the wet, slippery court, and the
first thing that attracted my atten,
ton was my heels. My fall excited
no comments They expected it, no
doubt. It belonged in the list OF
.goftening, sensuous influences pecul-
lar to this home Of Eastern luxury.
1t was softening enough, certainly,
but it's application was not happy.
They now gaveme a pair Of wood
en- clogs-benches in miniature,
with leather straps over them to
confne my feet which they would
have done, (only { do not wear No.
13s These things dangled uncom-
fortably by the straps when I lifted
up my feet, and came down in awk-
ware. land unexpected places when
put them on the floor again, and
sometimes turned sideways and
wrenched my ankles out Of joint.
However. it was all Oriental luxury.
and | did what I could to enjoy it.
They put me in another part of
the barn and laid me on a. stufy sort
Of pallet, which was not made of
cloth of gold, or Persian=shawls,, but
was merely the unpretending sortof
thing l have seen in the negro quar-
ters of Arkansas There was moth
ing whatever in this dim marble
prison but five more of these bers.
It was a very solemn place. lex
.pected that the spiced odors Of Ara
by were going to steal over my sen
ses now, but they didn't. A copper
colored skeleton, with a rag around
him, brought me a glass decanter of
water, with a lighted tobacco pipe
in the top Of it, and plant stem a
yard long, with brass mouth-piece
to it. ....-,.
The prison was filed with hot air
When got warmed up sufficiently
to prepare me- for still warmer
- II l.