Litchfield enquirer., 1867-03-07
MRS. CAUDLE.

| We extract the following from recent republication of Mrs. Gaudla's Curtsin Lectures: CAUDLE GIVES PARTY
 s'It is hard think, MT. Caudle, that I
 can't leave home for day or two, but the house must be turned into tavern: tav-
 ern ?-a pothouse?. Yes, I thought you
 were very anxious that I should go; I thought you wanted to get rid of me for something, or you would not have insisted | on my staying at dear mothers all night You were afraid should get cold coming
 home, were you? Oh, yes, you can be very tender, you can, MT. Caudle, when it suits your own purpose. Yes and the world thinks what good husband you are! I onl y wish the world knew you as we'll as I
 do, that's all; but it shall some day I'm de-
 termined.
 "I'm sure tho house will not be sweet for
 @ month. All the curtains arc poisoned
 with smoke; and, what's more, with the filthiest smoke ever knew Tate 'sn. 1 doa0n, then? Yes, it's all very we'll for you to
 say take 'en down; but they were only cleaned and put up a month ago; but a
 careful wifes lost upon you, Mir. Caudle. You ought to have married somebody who'd have let your house go to wreck and ruin, as I will for the future. People who don't care for their families are better thought of than those who do; I've long found out Ma.'
 ''And what condition the carpets in!
 They've taken five pounds out of it, if a farthing, with their filthy boots, and I don n't know what besides. And then the smoke in the hearth-rug, and large cin- T ho1o ,,, r
 house in my life! If you wanted, why
 could mt you invite 'em when your wife's at
 home, like any other man? not have 'em directly woman turns her back They
 must be pretty gentlemen, they must; mean
 fellows, that are afraid to face woman!
 Ha! and you all call yourselves the lords of
 the creation! l should only like to see
 what would become of the creation if you were left to yourselves? A pretty pickle creation would be in very soon.
 You must all have been in nice condi- tion? What do you say? You took ,sohsimg?
 Took nothing, didn't you? I'm sure there's
 such a regiment of empty bottles, I hav'n
 had the heart to count lem. And punch,
 too! you must have punch! There's hun dred half lemons in the kitchen, if there's one; for Susan, like Q good girl, kept 'em to show em to me. No, sir; Susan sha'nt
 leaue he house! What do you say? .She has
 no rigb! to teU tttes aa9 you aoM De master of your oecn Aouse? Will you? If you don't all ter MT. Caudle, you'll soon have no house to be master of. A whole loaf of sugar did I leave in the cupboard and now there isn't
 as much as would fill @ tea-cup. Do you suppose I'm to find sugar for fifty men What do you say? There acGsn't ffty? That's no matter; the mere shame for 'em, sir. I'm sure they drank enough for fifty. Do you suppose out of my house. keeping money, I'm to find sugar for punch for all the world? You don't ask ane9 Don't you ask me? You do; you know you do; for if only want shilling extra, the house ! is in a blaze. And yet whole loaf of su- gar can you throw away upon - No, l ,ront bo still; and I won't let you go to sleep. If you'd got to bed at proper hour last night, you wouldn't have been so sleepy now. You can sit up half the night with pack of people who don't care for you, and your poor wife cant get in a word!
 "And there's that China image that l had when was married-I would It have taken any sum for it-and how do I find 1 it? With it's precious head knocked off And what was more mean, more contempt ible than all besides, it was put on again as if nothing had happened. You knew nothing about H? Now, how can you lie there in your Christian bed, Caudle, and say that? You know that fellow, Pretty
 man, knocked off it's head with the poker! You know that he did. And you had n't the feeling-yes, I will say it-you hadn' t the feeling to protect what you knew was precious to me. Oh, no, if the truth was known, you were glad to see it broken for that very reason.
 "Every way, I've been insulted. should like to know who it was who corked whisk- CTS on my dear aunt's picture? Oh! you're laughing, are you? You're not la,eghing? Don't tell me that. I should like to know
 what shakes the bed, then, if you're not
 laughing? Yes, corked whiskers on her dear face-and she was 8 good soul to you, Caudle, and you ought to be ashamed ot yourself to see her ill-used Oh, you may
 laugh It's very easy to laugh! I only ! wish you'd little feeling, like other peo- 1 pie; that's all
 'Then there's my China mug-the mug
 I had before I was married-when 1 was a happy creature. l should like to know | who knocked the spout off that mug? Don't
 tell me it was cracked before-its no such thing, Caudle; there WaSn t naW In It.
 and now, could have cried when saw it.
 Don't tell me it was n't worth two-pence.
 How do you know? You never buy mugs.
 But that's like men; they think nothing in
 house costs any thing. ".Theres four glasses broken, and nine
 cracked. At least, that's all I've found al
 present; but dare say shall discover :
 dozen tomorrow. l "And should like to know where tht
 cotton umbrellas gone to-and should
 like to know who broke the bell-pull-an6
 perhaps you don't know there's a leg of {
 chair-and perhaps
 CT was resolved" says Caud1e, s'to knov
 nothing, and so went to sleep in my igno
 rance"
 SHARoN.-The debate on Monday even | inc of last week was held at Mr. S. Prin