The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1867-03-22
MRS. CRUDLE'S CURTAIN LECTURES.
Ontinued from our last issue.
THE TWENT Y Y-SIXTH LECTURE.

MRS. CAUDLE'S 3 FIRST NIGHT IN FRANCE SHAME
Full BDIFFERENoE' OF CAUDIE AT THE BoU-
IoGNE CUSTOM HOUSE.
81 suppose Mr. Caudle, you call yourself
MANI Pm sure, such men should never have
wives. If l could have thought it possible
you'd have behaved as you have done-and
might if / hadn't been forgiving creature
for you've never been like anybody else-if |
could only have thought it, you'd never have
dragged me to foreign parts. Never Well
did say to myself, if he goes to France, per-
haps he may catch a little polteness-but no:
you began as Caudle, and as Caudle you'll
end. Pm to be neglected through life, now
Oh yes I've quite given up all thoughts of
anything but wretchedness-I've made up my
mind to misery, now. You're glad of a.?
Well, you must have heart to say that
declare to you, Caudle as true as Pm an ill
1sed woman, if it wasn't for the dear children
Jar away in blessed England-if it wasn't for
them, I'd never go back with you. No; I'd
leave you in this very place. Yes; I'd 90 into
convent; for lady on board told me there
was plenty of 'em here. I'd go and be a nun
for the rest of my days, and - see nothing
to iaugh at Mr.. Caudle; that you should be
sinking the bed-things up and down in that
wV.-But you always laugh at other peoples
feelings; / wish you'd only some YOURSELF
It be a nun, or a Sister Of Charity. Impos-
sille. Ha ! Mr.. Caudle, you don't know even
now what l can be when my bloods up.
You've trod upon the worm long enough some
day won't you be sorry for it
"Now, none of your profane Cryings out
You needn't talk about Heaven in that way
I'm sure you're the last person who ought.
What say is this-your conduct at the Gus
tom House was shameful-cruel And in a
foreign land, too But you brought me here
that / might be insulted; you'd no other
reason for dragging me from England. Ha
let me once get home, Mr.. Caudle and you
may wear your tongue out before you get me
into outlandish places again. What hare gou
done? There, now, that's where you are so
aggravating. You behave worse than any
Turk to me-what? You aCiSh you ocere a
Turk? Well, think that's a pretty wish
before your lawful wife Yes IA nice Turk
you'd make, wouldn't your Don't think it,
"Wh0t hare yOu done? Well, it's a good
thing | can't see you for Pm sure you must
blush. Done indeed Why, when the brutes
searched my basket at the Custom House 4
regular thing, is 1t? Then, if you knew that
why did you bring me here No man who
respected his wife would. And you could
stand by and see that fellow with moustaches
rummage my basket; and pull out my night
cap and rumple the borders, and-welll if
you'd had the proper feelings of a husband,
your blood would have boiled again. But no
There you stood, looking as mild as butter at
the man, and never said a word not when he
crumpled my night-cap-it went to my heart
like stab-crumpled it as if it was any
duster. dare say, if it had been Miss Pretty
mans night-cap-oh / don't care about your
groaning-if it had been her night-cap, her
hair brush, her curlpapers, you'd have said
something then. Oh, anybody with the spirit
of a man would have spoken out if the fellow
had had thousand swords at his side Well,
all l know is this if I'd have married some
body ] could name, he wouldn't have suffered
L A..a, ,A,1s -, 1,a4r % l,,I
"Now don't hope to go to sleep, Mr.. Caudle,
and think to silence me in that manner. l
know your art, but it won't do. 1t wasn't
enough that my basket was turned topsy-
turvey. but before knew it they spun me
into another room, and-HoU could you help
that? You never tried to help it. No;
although it was a foreign land, and | don't
speak French-not but that | know good
deal more of it than some people who give
themselves airs about it-although | don't
speak their nasty gibberish, still you let them
take me away, and never cared how | was
ever TO find you again. In a strange country,
+ too But I've no doubt that that's just what
you wished; yes, you'd have been glad enough
! TO get rid of me in that cowardly manner. If
&1 could only know your secret thoughts,
4 Caudle, that's what you brought me here for,
. to lose me. And after the wife Ive been
to you
"What are you crying out For mercyS
sake9 Yes; a great deal you know about
mercy Else you'd never have suffered me
to be twisted into that room. To be searched,
4 indeed As if I'd anything smuggled about
s me. Well, will say it; after the way in which
4 I've been used, if you'd the proper feelings OF
n man, you wouldn't sleep again for six
4 months. Well, l know there was nobody but
4 women there; but that's nothing to do with it.
4 Pm sure, if I'd been taken up for picking
E pockets, they couldn't have used me worse.
I To be treated so-and specially by ones own
sex Its that that aggravates me.
Sand that's all you can say what comd
+ you do? Why, break open the door; Pm sure
/. you must have heard my voice: you shall
never make me believe you couldn't hear that
Whenever shall sew the strings on again,
can't tell. If they didn't turn me out like q
ship in a storm, Pm a sinner And you
q laughed You didn't laugh? Don't tell me;
you laugh when you don't know anything
about it,; but do.
"And a pretty place you have brought me
4 10 A most respectable place. | must say
Where the women walk about without any
+ bonnets to their heads, and the fish girls will
their bare legs-well, you don't catch me eat
4 ing any fish while Pm here. Whynot? Why
not,--dO you think I'd encourage people
y that sort
"What do you say2 Good-night9 It's n'
4 use saying that can't go to sleep so soon a.
you can. Especially with door that has suci
a lock as that to it. How do we know wh'
NAV come in What? All the locks are bad q
France The more shame for you to bring
4 me to such place, then. 1t only shows hoV
YOU value me.
"Well, dare say you are tired. am
a But then, see what I've gone through. Well
xUe won't quarrel in barbarous country. W.