The Greene County Republican. [volume] (Waynesburg, Pa.) 185?-1867, 1867-07-03

/ ihuoh "hch w tiieIo uOh ltel e2
tho I'm away from home and a visitin. -.
But Kentucky | love-the people really
charm me. But go on, wat next7
Jefferson Davis hez been LIBERATED by
Horris Greeley becomln his bale. This
bale In by Greeley, the reporter, stashen-
ed at Washington, considers most
momenchus event and most happy ok,
kurrence for yoor majesty
That reporters a ass and dom know
the sekret springs wich actooate men.
Recall him to wunst for maxim sich a
foolish remark
Bat. sed the Sekretary, who seemed
to me to be imp Nv some conscience,
to be permitted to argoo with Luclfer
hisselt i consider it Nv some Importance.
Did yoo wish Jeifson Davis to die in
prlzenP
'Ef 700 wusnt Nv decided yoose to
me, hevin BIN Moo York Alderman,
I'd redoose yoo. Want Jeffson Davis
to died? Not |. I'm not the yooth wot
killed the goose wot laid the golden egg.
He's bin the best recrootin lootenant
ever he'd. lie hez the happy knack NV
controIIin everybody he hez anything to
do with, and he tnrns EN- all to'ard me
lie roolned Polk, he swampt Pierce, he
sedoost Bookannan, he dazzod johnson,
and he hez now caught Horris Greeley.
But ther wuzant any danger nv his dym
in prizcn, Men amt in the habit NV
dyin on panned oysters, drilled beefsteak
and milk toast they hev trick Nv peg
ging out faster on diet suthin the oppo-
sit NV that for instance the variety
that Jetf'son furnisht EN- at Anderson,
VILE lie wood hev got out any how.
johnson is, after all, poor white man,
and he Good bully them NV that class well
enough but be telt ashamed NV keepin
real gentlemen like Davis IN prizen, and
he wood hev releast him.
'SheI put Horns down on our books?'
askt the Sekretary eagerly, dipping his
pen INTO the blue flame ez Hertzog does
in the Black Crook.
Let us consider ? sed Luclfer, musin-
ly' WAT hez he did
'Balel JEFF son Dayisr returned the
Sekretary, confidently gisin his pen a
fresh dip.
Very good, Horris hez made nv
hlsseIt, to speak fggera lively, post for
a drove Nv hogs to scratch themselves
agln. They are scrahblin out NV the
slough Nv secession IN which they wal.
Tered till the droppn out NV the bottom
made 1t dangerous; they find Ilorris
standin ON the bank, and agin him they
rub their sides to clean off the mud wich
adheres' speak fggeratively in likenin
Horrls to post literally in lkenin the
sece'h to swine. They wua Jest ez
and jest ez crooel, They wuz
the wuns afore wich pearls wuz cast.
Il hev jest tinisht his defence of his
self Its curious dokeyment and puz.
zles me. I'm disposed to consider him
honest, but wat week shown he makes
First, he seq he's honest, wich is alluz
agln man, for a trooly honest man kin
ailuz find enuff others to say 1t for HIM.
3D. lie tries to prove it, wich IS very
bad, for the honesty wich need provin is
of rather scaly order. He instances
Ills spin his chances for the SENT lat
fall by writin that universal amnesty
letter, Horris, in this matter Is, tear
playln ostrich, He hez his head in the
sand, and bein blind hisself, tancies the
balance NV his anatomike strukter, which
ought to be in the background, aint yisi.
bic to the rest NV mankind. Or, he is
reely loonatic | never he'd any idea
that he wanted the seat in the Senit-
lie wuz in Congress wunst, and the Ter,
nbly faleyoer he made lher, wood, eff he
wuz conshus Nv it, hcv deferred him
from seekln that per,ikeler place agin.-
Then ef he wuz reely compos ment,s, he
wood hev knowed, or ought to hey
knowd, that ne hadn't the ghost Nv Il
chance for the place, and coodnt hev cot
it ct no had written letter urgin the
hangln NV every rebel, from Jefferson
Davis down to Commodore Hollins. It!
looks to mo very much like ez eff Horris
wuz plavin the old game NY declipin
what had never been offered him. His
letter wuz soundin brass and tipklin
cymbals'
'Shel enter him or not askt the
sekretary.
lisa curis case,' said Lucifer, not
mindin him. He hez bin agin me, by
'pasms, wich could approve. hev
alluz, SO far, entered it up to the account
nv loonacy, for I am partikeler about
putin my claw onto any man who don't