The western Democrat. [volume] (Charlotte, N.C.) 1852-1870, 1867-07-23
WHY YOUNG MEN DO NoT MARRY

Rev. Robert Collyer, the eloquent Unitarian
clergyman, recently preached sermon in Chi
cago on "Our Daily Bread" in the course OF
which he discussed social questions, and ex-
planned why young men do not marry: PSI 80
"When one said lately. in the presence of
frank, outspoken young woman in this city, that
the reason why young men did not marry was
that their wives would not be content to begin
to live in homely fashion; after they had been
raised 10 luxury, she replied, sthe woman Is
quite as willing as the man to do that, and 1
know of no woman in the circle Of nay acauaiu-
tance who would not be content, for the sake Of
the man she loved, to cast her lot with him and
make his interest in every way her own" /
believe the young woman spoke the truth.
When hear man living in chambers and
constant in his attendance at play and opera say
81 dare not marry, because know no womaa
would be content to live as one should have 10
live," say to myself, it may be true, but looks
very much like old Adam, who ate the eapple
and then turned around and laid the blame on
the woman. Let this be as it will, here is the
dismal fact staring us everywhere in the face,
and in no place more painfully than in our own
city, that for social, conventional, or still worse
reasons, the best youth of the country is held
back from its most sacred duty as well as ite
most perfect felicity-falls into that sad mis-
take of a long engagement, in which the pain
and disappointment bears hardest always on the
woman; or the young man shuts his eyes and
his heart when the spirit walking among the
golden lamps whispers to him of some maiden,
"That is thy wife," and says "No, not yet for
many year to come"-and so marries at last
away on in life, when both lives have become
set in their own fashion, and their love is hard
ly enough to give them the kindly mutual for
Il .,-l IL - L..
and disposition, until they can become
."Self-rererent ard reverencing each, ls :
Alike in individualities," * -,.n &
and SO the best of the days Of the best of our
youth 60 by and find 81 dare not" attempt. s@s
- 'tIn the name of all that is sacred, I. ask why
this is, and get for my answer, 'We cannot, af-
ford it. The young farmer can afford it on the
praries; the miner on Superior; the woodman
on the peninsula; the carpenter at bis bench;
the smith at his anvil; the longshoremau and
the sailor. That cluster of men down there in
Pennsylvania, and those in Yorkshire whose
mere young men were with me long years ago,
lost no time and asked few questions because
some night instinct told them they must do that
or worse-worse in any and every way they
could look at it; and so I can remember, as ifit
were yesterday, how speedily these found the
wife and went to housekeeping in one room or
hammer ring with new music, and gradually
got their house and household goods, and the
world has never failed them, no, not for day.
but through dark future and bright, and sick
ness and strength they have found the deepest
experiences of their life each with the Other.
for Grea. Heart and Interpreter 60 together on
this pilgrimage, and now they see their .ehildrea
coming up to manhood and womanhood about
them, with the freshness of their own youth in
their hearts, and know, though probablyAhey
cannot tell, the deep content of a life ordered
after the fashion God gave them when he crea-
ted them man and woman. ....s.
But here are men with noble powers, with
faculties that will ensure them greater place,
livingsin the most plentiful land on the globe,
evening themselves through the years of their
youth with the poor lost tribe of battle singers,
the loneliest of all those to whom God has given
a chance, and when you get at their real reason =
it is either the one or the other of these They
cannot believe what, if they have lived in the /.
country, they have seen twenty times to be true
of the birds that sing about US everywhere.
that new exigencies tap new energies, and the
little fellow who, few weeks ago, had quite
enough to do to take care of himself, is now
caring for nestfull just as successfully. They
do not believe that the Maker who has made
their life of itself natural prayer for daily
bread, has provided that the answer shall be
equal to the erys or when they pray they mean
by daily bread, board for two at the Sherman,
the privilege to attend parties three times
week throughout the whole winter, to takes
trip to Saratoga in summer, and miss no chance
at any other pleasure, however expensive. Les
it be that or shred of that which makes this
fatal failing in the flower of the youth of Amer
ca-the men from Harvard aud Yale and all Of
their fine -quality-and the thoughtful cannos q
but deplore the education that can so curse the
fair manhood and cause the blossoming Of youth
to come to such an uniinely end. ,.1t II. q toa