Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1867-05-02
Odds and Ends

j Why is poker like an angry
word? Because it often stirs un
smouldering fire.
A warning needed at all fashion.
able assemblages--look out for paint.
Josh Billings says: "God save the
fools, and don't let 'em run out for
if it warn't for them, wise men
couldn't get living"
The ladies sometimes get up bon
nets OF diminished size, but never of
diminished cost.
Water has been selling at Norfolk,
Va, for twenty five cents per gallon.
One of the papers there intimates
that it is much more pleasant and
nearly as economical to use whisky,
as 1t don't have to be cooked before
it is drank.
"Mr. Jones, do you think that
marriage is means of grace?"
certainly, madam; anything is a
means OF grace that breaks up pride
and leads to repentance.
Scene closes with a mon handle.
Why was Gen. Grant on his ia.
nous march to Richmond, like a
ship drifting under the wind?
Because he was going Lee-w ward
A man named Aaron Bedbug. has
petitioned to the Legislature to
change his name. He says that his
sweetheart, whose name is Olivia, is
unwilling that he should be called
A. Bedbug, she o. Bedbug, and the
little ones little Bedbugs.
When we see kisses between
women, it reminds us Of handsome
unmatched gloves-charmin thnps
with their proper mates, but good
for nothing that wav
Mrs. Partington declares that the
only way traveller can avoid being
killed by railroad collisions, nova,
days, is always to take the other
| train.
"Papa," cried Mr. Browns young.
est son, ''can l go to the circusf"-
''No my boy" affectionately replied
Mr.. B.; if you are a good boy l will
take you to see your grandmotber's
grave this afternoon.
Three Boxes govern the world
the Cartridge box, Ballot box, and
Band box
You should wish your friends all
good qualities except good sense,
for that might make them out of love
with you.
If you don't wish to trade with the
devil keep away from his shop.
A lady, a regular shopper. who
made an unfortunate clerk tumble
over all the stockings in the store
objected that none were long enough.
II want" says she, "the longest
hose that are made"
"Then Madam was the reply,
''you'd better apply to the next en-
CINE house"
A Western editor says that the
making of the earth was great and
valuable enterprise.
A colporteur, sometime ago, when
engaged in distributing tracts among
the poor benighted ones about town,
met with an amusing Incident
Coming to an isolated building, of
rather modest pretentions, he open
ed the door without the ceremony of
knocking saying: ''Will you accept
q tract of the Holy Land?" meaning
the TOUR pages of letter press he had
in his hand. The man of the house
instantly replied: '.Yes, be jabbers,
a whole section if you give good
title. But I'd like to know if there
be prairie or ague there to bother
poor devil. -
A Clnclnnatian says: Talk about
filters just eat quart of Ohio
river water, and stand in the sun for
five minutes, and you will find the
aforesaid coming out at every pore
beautifully filtered, while your
stomach becomes converted into a
sand bag, and you can hear the graV
Ell rattle as you wall"
"You have lost your baby, I hear
said one gentleman to another.
eyes, poor little thing. it was only
FIVE months old We did all We
could for it. We had four doctors,
blistered its head and feet, put mus
tard poultices all over it, gave it
nine calomel powders, leeched its
temples, had it bled, and gave it all
kinds of medicine; and yet, after
weeks illness it died"
A black minister was closing up
his prayer, when some white boys
had the i'll manners to laugh, so that
the sable suppliant heard them.
He had said but moment before.
and very earnestly, '.Bless all dat is
human" when the laugh occurred
and commencing again just before
the Amen, the pious old negro said:
80 Lord, we are not in de habit OF
addin' postscripts to our prayers;
but if the 'spression Bless all dat IS
human won't take in desc white
fellers, den we pray dat de Lord
will bress some dat amt human
also, besides, Amen!''
/ In Washington County, Ind, last =
Wednesday night, party OF rnhans
went to the house of MIR. Lester,
dragged him from his bed, tied him
to a tree. and, in the presence OF his
wife and children, beat him over the
head and body until they supposed
dead. The leader of the gang is
sa;d to be the same man who led the
mob that hung Tally and Brooks at
Brownstown. His name is Thoss j.
Lister. He and his confederates
have been arrested.
| re- Edward H. Hall demonstrates
that man can make trip round the