Smyrna times., 1867-01-02
Jack Horner's True History.


of inevitable decay-N T. Tribune.
---~-Ss~o----
Jack Horner's True History.
Who has not heard of this famous individ-
ual? Who does not remember Of being told in
his youth about Jack llorner? And who has
not envied him his good fortune when he
Sat in corner eatingia Christmas pie,
Put in his thumb
And pulled out plum
And says what pretty boy am |?
Have the children ever inquired who was
Jacky Horner? Here is the tradition:
| When Henry VIII suppressed the monaste-
ries and drove out the poor old monks from
their nests the title deeds of the Able Of Mells
including the sumptuOus grange built by
| Abbot Sewood-were demanded by the COM
miSsioners. The Abbot of Glastonbury deter
mined that he would send them to London, but
as the documents were very valuable and the
roads invested by thieves, it was difficult to get
| them safely to the metropolis. To accomplish
this, however, he devised the following plan
he ordered pie to be made-as fine pie as
ever smoked on a rafectOry table; inside he
put the documents-tLeh finest lining pie ever
had since pies were first made-he entrusted
| this dainty to lad named IIOrner to carry up
to London to deliver it safely into the hands
of those for whom it was intended. But the
Journey was long; and the day was cold, and
the boy was hungry, and the pie was tempt
ing, and the chance of detection was small
! So the boy broke off piece OF the pie and be-
held the parchment; he pulled it forth, innO
Gently enongh-wOndering how it could have
reached there-tied up the pastry and arrived
in town The parcel was delivered, but the
title deeds of the Mells Abbey estate were mis-
sing-Jack had themn his pocket these were
the jucest plums Of the pie. Great was the
rage of the commissioners, heavy the vengeance
dealt out to the monks. Jack kept his secret
and when peaceable times We're restored claim
ed the estates and obtained them. Whether
Mr.. HOrner deserves the title Of good boy "
bestowed on him by the nursery lament is more
doubtful; however, that the story.
MEN OF GENIUs-Tasso conversation was
neither gay nor brilliant Dante was either ia
citurn or satirical Butler was either sullen or
biting Gray seldom talked or smiled. HO
garth and Swift were absent minded in COM
pany. Milton w6s very unsoca and irritable
when pressed in conversation. klrwin, though
! cOpiOus and eloquent in public addresses, was
meagre and dull in colloQuial discour,es. Nir
gil was heavy in conversation. LA Fontaine
appeared heavy, coarse and stupid; he could
not describe what he had seen but then he
was the model Of poetry. Chaucecr's silence
was more agreeable than conversation. Dry
den'S conversation was slow and dull, his hu-
NOR saturine and reserved.
Corneillo in conversation was so insipid that
he never failed wearying; he did not cv !
speak correctly that language of which he was
such master. Ben Johnson used 10 sit eel.
in company and suck his wine. Southey was
stiff, sedated and wrapped up in ascetisms.
Addison was good company with his intimate
friends, but in mixed company preserved his
f dignity by still and reserve silence. Fox IN
conversation never tagged his animation and
vivacity were incxhaustible. DIR. Gently was
loquacious as was also Crotius. Goldsmith
, wrote like an angel and talked like poor
T pool. Barke was entertaining, enthusiastic
and interesting in conversation. Curran was a
convival deity. Leigh Hunt was a pleasant
| stream in conversation. Carlyle doubts, OBJ
5 jects, and constantly demurs.
SCIENTIFIC COMFORT FOR Cooks The
Springfield Weekly Republican states that all
good housewives assert that there are times
; when their "ovenS won't bake an arserton
always received with incredulity and disgust by
. Paterfamlas, when he fin Is hi roast la done
! and the under crust of his pies like so much
: paste for he is sure he could make it bake
. But the women seem to have the right of it,
. though few of them could explain the fact sci
! entihcally, as Professor Horsford tried to do al
o o the scientific meeting at Buffalo last week, IL
: paper on the effect of sunshine on fire. -
i CAS- regards the draft of chimneys, the speak
:, y er found during the late heated term, tha
u neither meats nor bread could be baked in hi
:, kitchen-range between the hours of twelve anC
: ! three Investigating the causes, he concluded
. them to be due to the column of heated air ri
. sing from the walls and slated roof of the house
- - which, by friction, drew out from windows ant
g crevices the air in the interior, which woulC
= otherwise supply the draft Of the chimney
i and also produced a counter current of al
~ flowing across the opening of the chimney
above, pressing upon the column OF air risinl
/ through them. The professors conclusions
Is generally stated, were that sunshine or ligh
e. has no direct effect upon combustion, and tina
Or the effects from which the notion al ises ar
due to incidental causes, as partially indicate,
ID in this brief synopsis of his remarks.
as NJ
d. TIME.-Time is the most undefnable ye
O. paradoxical of things. The past is gone, tn
ne future is to come, and the present become
at the past, even while we attempt to define it
n and like the fash of the lightning, at ono
IS exists and expires. Time is the measurer G
er all things, but is in itself immeasurable; an
We the grand discloscr of all things, but is itse
ut undisclOsed Like space it is incomprehens
of BILE, because it has no limits; and it would b
he still more so if it had. 1t is more obscure il
it its source than the Nile, and in its termination
be than the Niger; and advances like the slowes
ng tide but retreats like the swiftest torrent L
er gives wings of lightning to pleasure, but Zee
he Of lead to pain, and lends expectation curD
II, but enjoyment q spur. '
its OLD DIR. A was quackE, and a very z z
is norant one. On one occasion nc was calieu U: