Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1867-12-11
what a Little Boy Thought
About Things.

" uaAl AltlAC BOY TnOuSnA
About Things.
am a little boy about many years
old; don't know whether Pm a good
little boy, but Pm afraid not, for l
sometimes do wicked things, and once
l cut sisters kittens tail off with the
chopin knife, and told her 8 big dog
came along and bit it ffand swallowed
it down. and sister said she was sorry,
and ii must have been a very naughty
dog, but my father didn't belTe me,
and said he was afraid | had told a lie
and Pm afraid l had ; so then she ask
ed me if I knew where liers went to
and | said yes; that they went 10 New
York and wrote for the newspapers;
then she asked me if / would like to
be- nangel and have a harp. and, | said
no!-Pd rather be 6 stage driver and
have a big drum, for l couldn't play
on t'other thing. So / shouldn't like
to be a nangel, their wings must be in
the way when.they go swimmin, and
play tag and leap frog and besides it
must be hard to fly when one amt
to 1t. But it would be Jolly to be al
stage driver and have a long whip and
touch up the leaders, and say g'lang
there, what are We doin' oni l should
like that much better'n fyin'; and then
mother said there was s dreadful stage
of sin, and brother Bob hoIlered and
said that he guessed 1 was on it, and
then she whipped us and sent Us to
bed without any supper, but l didn't
care about supper, for they hadn't
nothin but bread and butter for tea,
and Bob and L got up and he lifted me
in at the pantry window, and we got a
mince pie anda whole hat full of dough
nuts and they thought it was the cook
that stole 'em and sent her away the
next day, and Bob said he was glad of
it, for she didn't make good pies, and
the doughnuts wasn't fried enough, and
sometimes l do swear, for | said by gol-
ly the other day, and sister heard me,
and she told mother, and mother said
Twas a bad boy, and would bring her
grey hairs to the grave, and she whip
ped me, but l didn't think il did her
gIey hairs any good, and 1t hurt me,
and when l got up stairs | said COL
darn it, but l said it so she didn't hear
me when she asked me if 1 didn't know
l was very wicked, l said l wal afraid
Twas and Iwassorry forit, and wouldn'i
do so no more, and then she said | was
a good little boy, and told me about
George Washington who cut down the
apple tree, and was caught at it, and
said he did it with his little Ratchet,
Just as though l hadn't heard all about
it before, and didn't always think he
was a big stupid for cuttin wood when
they had a hired man about the house,
and dublin his little Ratchet, and be-
sides it would have been q great deal !
iollier to let the trees be so he could
have stolen apples off in the fall. l
didn't care if he was the Father of his !
country, he wan'tsmart andIH bet you
the boys in our school would cheat :
him out of his eye-teeth swoppin jack
l could lick him and not hard 5
" try, and don't think he was very {
healthy either, for | never saw a good
little boy that wasn't always sick and :
had the mumps and measles, and the
fever, and wasn't a coughin' all {
the while, and hadn't to take castor
oil, and tar-water, and couldn't eat
cherries and didn't have to have his
head patted till the hair was rubbed off
BY everybody that came to his mothers
md lie asked how he was, and what he ,
asd been studyin at school, and how
ar he'd got, and lots of other conun-
drums, and to say his cstechism, no ! 8
not like to be q good little boy, 4
as lief be an angel and be done i
With it, but l don't think | ever shall 2
be q good little boy, and other people :
1ont think so too, for | was never called a
good little boy but once, and that D
when Uncle John asked me where Z
[ stood in my class, and / told him it ,
next to the head, and he said that 9
right. and he gave ne q quarter,
md then he asked MT how many boys
were in the class, and said there
vas only two, myself and a little girl, I
ind then he wanted me TO give him :
back the quarter, and he ran after me
md stumbled over q chair, and broke !
ais cane, and hurt himself. and he's g
been lame ever since, and Pm glad of D
for he isn't my father, and hasn't B
my right to lick me, for 1 get enough n
If that at home, and the quarter wasn't g
/ good one either. l should ike TO =
laTe nice curly hair, nice clothes and
OTIS ofImoney and q cane and have peo- =
Die look at me when L walked down
he street, and say that's him, and don't
are who knows it, for I don't want to
De a soap boiler like Uncle John, nor q
.anner like Uncle Hiram, and all the
rood people l know of are soap boilers
.anners, except Mr., Stebbins, and he's :
/ school teacher, and thst's worse than
for he has to board round the :
1eighbors and they never put apple
iauce on the table when he's at the
house, ] hearn Mrs. Spriggins tell Aunt
Polly 50, they wait till he's gone out to
school or to see the minister's
wife and talk about rheumatic and red =
and hot poultices for sore
and after he's gone they bring
the nice things and eat 'em by
themselves, with lots of pickles. He
get anything but bread and !
butter, and stale doughnnts !
hat are left over from Saturdays ba-
Kin oh, 1 know how them things are
lone; but there's Bob calm me, and
we're goin' a bird nesting, for l know
where there a yaller birds nest chuck
ull of eggs, mother says its cruel and 1
he birds don't like it and thatI would
mt like to have my eggs stole if l was
bird, and l don't think that l should,
,ut / amt q bird, you know, and that
makes a difference, and If you want to
,rint this you can, for next to .bein' a
tage driver and a pirate I'd like TO be
editor, for you fellers don't have TO ,
ell the truth, and you a go to the
without payin.' JoHS PAUL.
=