The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1867-04-13
Model Address 10 Children.

l. mere was school 1eStlval at santa CRUZ, Cal-
ifornia, not long since, at which George T. Brom-
ley, we'll known "mine host" of that locality,
delivered the following extemporaneous address
ltispervaded by avein of humor that would do
honor to Mark Twains best efforts:
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: I appear before
you to apologize for the non-appearance of the
two gentlemen whose names appear on the pro-
gramme, and | am requested to make a speech as
Il substitute for the song they were to sing.
Now, was calculating to address the child
ern upon the occasion, but unfortunately the
young lady who was to accompany the address
on the piano was so overcome by its rehearsal
that she has not come out of the house since;
therefore will have to deliver the address with.
out the music, and leave out the most affecting
part of it for fear of consequences. l7r.rYf
Ii there is any one thing | love to do better
than another it is to make speeches to children.
because l love them---and, in fact. have il from
very good authority / was once little boy n.y.
self; and although not 50 good as some little boys,
yet the only reason of that was, there were so
many little boys better than | was. So you
see how near I came to being one of the best
boys there was in the district. 1 mention this
for yourencouraYement. Now we want you to
be very good children, and love your books and
teachers. You must love your teachers love
your teachers, because your teachers are the
most lovoable of any teachers that ever knew
and they have worked very hard to get up this
festival, to raise money to put new floor in the
school house, and to get nice new seats for little
boy trowsers-no, nice new trousers Tor little
boys seats.-No, / don't mean that either; but l
am so confused-what / mean is. to get nice new
seats to keep the little, boys from wearing out
their trowsers. Now they have worked hard
to do all this, and have sometimes sat up late at
night and have been so sorry that could not
set up with them and help them; but couldn't,
because had to sit up at the hotel to let in peo-
pie that were out late Now | want you all to
be good children, and never keep the man up
late at the hotel to let you in, when he wants to
be setting up with your teachers, and help to get
up the festival to raise money to get new floor,
and all that sort of thing, tor the school house..
Now, it what [ am saying is too deep for you
children to understand, you can get your parents
to explain it to you in the morning after they get
through dancing.
Oh! when | was little boy how did love to
go to school Saturday afternoon) and well do l
remember my first sum in arithmetic; and l was
very proud of IT, for it was some sum, ] thought
can see it now as plainly as though it was but
twenty-five or thirty years ago / set it down
and then added it up. 1t was ought and ought
is ought, and ought is ought to ought. / cut off
the top line, and it proved correctly. Then
took it to the teacher, and 1 expected he would
get me asituation in the corner grocery store,
was so qnick at figures. He looked at the sum
and passed back the slate, and said he--"You
have figured up about all you will ever amount
to- l didn't know at that time what he meant,
but was very much affected, and thanked him,
asked him if could stand up and see who whis-
pered. He said no, but / might go home and
tell my mother to put nail in my forehead to
hang my hat on--that it was pity to wear out
good hats on such head. We all loved that
teacher-when he moved away He was very
pious, and always opened school with prayer
or with long stick, and we used to think he
didn't care which, for he told us once that he
was bound to have his school open on time if he
had to open it with an oyster knife, he was 80
prompt. He used to repeat Scripture for u.s. but
he was very forgetful, and once he tried to tell
about what is said Of ''Suffer little children"
and he forgot the rest, so the little children had
to suffer .. .. t.. .t .t
Now want to show you the Importance Of inn
proving your time once knew a little boy in
San Jose who loved to 60 to school and loved his
books, and he grew up, and become great, and
there was in San Jose, he moved to Milpitas, and
then he was made postmaster and when tho
other two men moved away he set up hotel, and
ne had no opposition. So, you see, you must
love your books ii ever you want to be postmas-
ter at Milpitas. l once knew little boy in the
States who played truant and went aiding down
hill, and the ice broke and he went in swim.
ming; and what was the consequence? Why,
his teacher had the quinsy, soar throat and the
neuralgia in the head, and couldn't sing in the
choir the next Sunday, and DR.. Holmes and Mr..
Aud had to do all the singing. Now We want