Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1867-09-10
RATES OF ADVERTISING.
Dead Broke.
BIZ ruE ..rAr Cosra1nuToa..


We found man seated on curbstone near
the POst-Of6ee, last night, mutteFing to him
self apPareHtly, as there was no one else to
mutter to. We felt constrained to ask him
what be was doing there
"Hain't dOin' nOthin', was the reply.
"Where do you belOugI'
''DOn't belong nowhere, and nowhere done
b'lOng to me-"
Who are youI"
IPm broke"
well, suppose Jon are broke. you have got
a.Dame, haven't you? What is it?"
4 Il tell ye I'm brOke-Dead BrOke-that's
my name, aud that's my nature. My father
was broke before me- If he hadn't been,
wouldn't be broken now-at least not so bad.
My mother was Peasley, but she wanted 4
husband, aud she got broke-that's my dad
and broke got me. I've been broken ever
since" =
Fora few moments the unhappy Dead Broke
buried his face in his hands, aud seemed lost
IN the most dOleful reflections. Then raising
his head, he exclaimed bitterly:
II wish had been born colt"
why do you wish thaty''
because colt amt broke until he is two
or three years old. was broke the moment
| saw the light, and 1 never got Overit. 1t is
hard to be broke SO young"
How did your parents come to call you
Dead Broker"
"Well, ye see, as soon as 1 was born somo-
thing seeming to tell me that had got to be
broke all my life unless could get my name
changed By an act Of legislature, and that yod
know would be an impossibilty."
''HOw an impOssibility"
"Are you such blOckhead as to suppose
that man can get any thing through the
legislature when he is Broke"
You are right. Go on"
N"When the conviction forced itselfupo my
infant brain, confused as it was by recent ex-
peIience, that must be Broke all my life,
felt that there was nothing left to live for, and
lost all consciousness at once, Il have found
only part of it since.')
ale is Dead" cried my mother, wripgihg
her hands"
YES" groaned my father, "Dead Brole''
Il revived. alas !" but Dead Broke became
my name, atd have been dead broke ever
since"
"My name has been fatal to me all through
life. The smallest boy in school always broke
me in playing marbles. / broke more windoWA
than any other boy playing baseball. 1
always broke down at recitation, and had my
head broke every day by the sehoolmaster.-
When l left school l went to clerk for 4
broker. One day there was Il heavy deficit in
the accounts. was afraid he might think
that had something to do with it-so l.,
broke. They caught me though, and put mo
in jail; but broke out"
.'Out of jail!"
"No, d--n it; broke out tshh the small
Porv'
"What did you do next?"
''After the court had disposed Of my case
was allowed to go into tho brokerage business
again
"How was thatY"
al broke stone in the. penitcutiory, dog on
it. After got out broke everything L
broke my promise, broke the Sabbath, and
broke the pledge"
"Was yOu ever maTTiedY"
''Yes, (sighing deeply,) matrimony broke
me up worse than anything else. My wife was
a regular ripper. She broke up my dishes,
and nearly broke my back with fat iron,
and finally broke my heart"
by running away!"
"No, indeed, by sticking to me-"
'.Iou have had hard time Of it,
"All owing TO my maine. But bad as dis
like it, it's mine came by it honestly. You
wouldn't think anybody else would want to bo
in my place, would you! but there are thou
sands Of imposters all over the country trying
to pass themselves of for me-"
In what way"
when they tell their creditors they arc
Dead Broke"
There was another pause, during Which tho
unhappy possessnr OF an unfortunate namo
could be heard to sob. At length he broke
out:
at viii be simple and fitting inscription
for my tombstone, though"
"What?"
ssnr.D Doo,,r0