Weekly New Oregon plain dealer. (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1866-1867, 1867-04-12
fare Of the country as it will be un.
able to recover from for quarter Of
q century to come
School Address.
( From the North Iowa Times.1


| School Address.
lFrom the North Iowa Times.
| IF our readers can get as much
genuine fun out Of the subioined
lecture or address as we and many
friends have done they ought to be
congra tulated. The speech, mind
you, is not mis-spelled to tone it up,
as are many other popular" pro-
ductions of the hour it's merit is in
the vein of satire prevailing it, and
the keen burlesque of much of the
talk whichis handed out to children.
| We commend it to Maj. Cheney,
of Whitewater, Wisconsin, and to
Hon. A. W. Randall, Post Master
General, two gentlemen who are
credited with being the best School
Orators of the Northwest. ''Aleck'
and "Rufe' will excuse this impu-
dcnce of ours. If we did not know
them to be personal friends and great
lovers of humor we would not take
the liberty. We would almost 60
to Santa Cruz to see Geo. r. Brom-
ley:
There was a public school festival
at Santa Cruz, California, not long
since, at which George T. Bromley,
a well-known ''mine host of that
locality, delivered the following ex-
temporaneous address. 1t is per-
vaded by a vein of humor that would
do honor to Mark Twain's best eff
forts:
"LAD1Es AND GENTLEMEN II
appear before you to apologize for
the non-appearance Of the two gen.
tlemen whose names appear on the
programme, and am requested to
make a speech as q substitute for
the song they were to sing.
Now, Twas calculating to address
the children on this occasion, but
unfortunately the young lady who
was to accompany the address on
the piano was so overcome by it's
rehearsal that she has not been out
Of the house since therefore | shall
have to deliver the address without
the music, and leave ont the most
affecting part Of it for fear Of conse-
quenccs.
If there is any ono thing 7 love
to do better than another it is to
make speeches TO children, because
| love them-and, in fact, | have it
from very good authority, | was
once little boy myself: a I'd thnnGh
not as good as some little boys, yet
the only reason Of that was, there
were SO many little boys who were
better than / was. So you sec how
near | came to being one of the best
boys in the district. I mention this
for your encouragement. Now, we
want you all to be very good chill,
dren, and love your books and your
teachers. You MUST love your
teachers. love your teachers, be-
cause your teachers are the most
lovea bic teachers / ever knew and
they have worked very hard to get
up this festival, to raise money to
put a new floor in the school house,
and to get nice new seats for little
boys troWsers-no, nice new trow-
sers for the little boys seats. No,
[ don't mean that either !; but | am
so confused--what ! mean is, to get
nice new seats to keep the boys from
wearing cut their trowsers. Now,
they have worked hard to DO all this,
and have. sometimes sat up late at
night and I have been so sorry
that L could not set up with them
and help them but | couldn't, be-
cause l had to sit up at the hotel to
let in people that were out late
Now, | want you all to be good
children, and never keep the man
up late at the hotel to let you in,
when he wants to be sitting up with
your teachers, and help to get up q
festival to raise money to get new
floor, and all that sort Of thing, for
the school house. Now, if what I
am saying is too deep for you chill
dren to understand, you can get your
parents to explain it to you in the
morning when they get through
dancing.
Oh! when l was little boy how
| did love to 60 to school, Saturday
afternoon) and we'll do l remember
my first sum in arithmetic Z; and l
was very proud ofit, for it was some
sum, [ thought. l can see it now
as plainly as though it were but
twenty-five or thirty years ago. l
set it down, and then [ added it up.
1t was ought and ought is ought,
and ought is ought to ought. l cut
off the top line and it proved, COR
rectly. Then l took it to the teacher,
and [ expected he would get mo a
situation in the corner grocery
store--I was so quick at figures
He looked at the sum and passed
back the slate, and. said he, "You
have figured up about all you will
ever amount to-. l didn't know
at the time what no meant, but l
was very much affected, and thank
ed him, and asked him if could
stand up and see who whispered
He said no, but l might 60 home
and tell my mother to put a nail in
l 4 1 l. Icl