The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1867-10-17
Hotel Clerks COnsIdereh in the Light
of - superior Order OF Human Be


CHICAGO. Oct. II.
To the Editor of the Chicago Tribune :
approach you in a timid frame OF
mind to-day, with a few hesitating
words ou the subject of hotel clerks.
And / appeal to you, is there great
er person on earth than the hotel clerk?
Ihave come to the conclusion there
is not.
Earthly potentates, philosophers,
warriors and poets dwarf in compari-
son.
My eyes are open to the enormity of
my Ignorance and freely own that L
did wrong in asking that young man,
with the nice hair and stunning vest
if he would give me a:room on the sec
ond floor. / do not blame him that he
looked at me through his eye glasses,
with n tooth-pick in his mouth, for ten
minutes; that he then said he would be
back in "a minute and went of to play
billiards; that he was gone half an hour
and came back and read half dozen
notes from widows in the house; that
he then looked upand asked me w hat
wanted; and that he sent me to the fifth
story. All this L ought to have ex-
pected.
But the look he gave me was cruel.
The glance, which commenced at the
top of my hat and went to the toe of
my boot, was too much. Was II not
enough TO evince his superiority by or
dering me to the fifth story2 Why eX-
pose me to that chilling look? l know
that l should have begged that nice
young mans pardon for speaking to
him, hut one cannot always remember
hotel etiquette.
And 1 went to my den in the fifth
story thoroughly convinced that had
no rights a hotel clerk was bound to
an1 1iH fIaFa n look "a
him after that, and 1 paid my bill
through the proXyOf man and bro
ther, who knew the hotel clerk better
than did.
Next TO being Chan of Tartary, or
Tycoon of japan, l would be hotel
clerk. He is an object of interest only
second to Barnum's gorilla-a being so
far elevated above the petty strifes and
cares OF the world that he can look
down from his altitude upon us all and
smiIingly cOnsign us to the devil if il
so please him-a compound OF arro-
gance, self-complacency, don't-care-a-
cussativeness, and utter disregard of
ordinary human beings, so strongly
com pounded that II becomes sublime.
And l always revere sublimity of
this description. When he sent me to
the fifth story with carpet bag in each
hand, I did not complain. I kissed the
hand that smote.
a
of superiority. Do you desire to ascer-
tain what time the train departs 2 He
| refers you to the office of the company,
and don't know where it is. Do you
want to know where Bangs 81 Co. do
business9 He waves you to a directo-
ry of some other city and replaces his
whole mind on his tooth pick. Ask
him for some tickets to an evenings
| performance at the theatre and he will
crush you with glance, as much as
TO say, do look like man in box
office?
He is master of all he surveys, ahso-
Lutte in his sway, wonderful in his make
up, express and admirable in his
functions. He knows everybody, and
has front seat at the opera.a When he
puts his whole mind on carpet bag ne
can tell at IA glance whether il contains
IA shirt and tooth brash, or IA first class
trousseaU, and he can grade men into
their rooms by their coat buttons with
the utmost ease.
:. Ordinary impudenCe usually gets
snubbed, but there does not live a man
with courage enough to snub the hotel
clerk. His impotence is allied to geni-
us. 1t has taken him years To reach
it, and the painful hours of study he
has given 10 the characteristics OF the
tooth-p pick are something wonderful TO
think of.
When retire from the pOmps and
vanities of this world, o Tribune, and
have no further interest in sublunary
matters, / hope to be u hotel clerk. l
can conceive of no epitaph more i'm
pressive than the touching woTdS-"He
was hotel clerk"