The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1867-06-12

"And there they sat popping CORE,
Zekc Stiles and Susan Cutter;
| Zcke Stiles as fat as any OK,
And Susan fat as butter,
| And there they sat and shelled the corn,
| And rakcd and stirred the fire,
/ And talked of different kind OF cars,
And hitchcd their chairs the higher.
Then Susan she the pepper shook,
| Then Zekc he shook the pepper,
! Till both their faces looked as red
As saucepans made Of copper.
| And so they shellcd, and popped, and ate
All kinds Of fun a poking.
While he haw-haw'd at her remarks,
And she laughed at his joking.
and still they popped, and still they ate
Zeke's mouth was like hopper
! And stirred the fire and sprinkled salt,
And shook and shook the pepper.
| The clock struck lime, the clock struck ten,
And still the corn kept popping
1t struck eleven, and then struck twelve,
And still no sign of stopping!
| And Zchc, he ate, and Sue, she thought
The corn did pop and pattcr,
| Till he cried out The corn's afre!
| Why, Susan, what's the matter?"
| Says she, "Zeie Stiles, its one O'Clock;
You'll die Of Indigestion;
I'm sick of this popping corn
Why don't you pop the question ?''
The interested reader will DC glad to
know that the question was popped, and
Zeke and Suse went and got married,
and that in due course, we'll, that is all.
One Of the strangest things in the
world There certainly is "a divinity
which shapes ou- ends" Read theproof:
\ bachelor and young lady- bought
some tickets in lottery at the recent
Sanitary Fair at Milwaukee, agreeing to
divide the proceeds cquitably. They
drew a double bedstcad, baby crib and
lunch basket, and the question is how to
divide them or whether they shall not
use them 'jintly."
An editor of one Of our exchanges is
certainly the rashest man VIC know. lie
wants new Subscribers and makes this
irresistible offer:
'For two new subscribers, furnished
by any good looking young lady, we
will marry her oursell, rs soon as the
law will allow"
| Not many Of our readers know what
the word JimpIccute meats. Here is
what knowing editor says in this rela-
| ton:
The name originated in Georgia, about
twenty years ago, last Spring. was at
a quilting frolic, at which there were a
great many nice girls, and among them Il
| pretty, f.isky widow. She was so
fascinating, active, and beautiful, that
they called Der Jimplccutc. Jimple on
account of her activity, and cute because
she looked so bewitchingly cunning. So
you will perceive that tjimplccutc is Lice,
| fristly, active widow, and not wild
animal. Besides it ought to bc written
and printed with a small j, instead of a
capita j.
Nincty-uinc out of q hundred Of the
ladies love green fruit, and a few die Of
cholera morbus thcre(rolh, but not many
of these who die are as fortunate in their
epitaphs as the one whose inscription is
recorded here:
"She lived life OF virtue, and died of
the cholera morbus, caused by eating
green fruit in the full hope ola blessed
Immortality, at the carly age Of twenty
four years, seven months and sixteen
days. Reader 90 thou and do likewise. "
"a good wife is crown Of rejoicing"
and patient husband will have his crown
cracked sometimes:
II have the best wife in the world"
said long-sufcring husband; "Shc 81
ways strikes me with the soft end Of the
broom"
In China there arc seven grounds of
divorce, Of which The fourth is "talkativc-
ness" in woman. Fewer cases happen
there than III this privileged country.
In Indiana "cold feet are considered
sufficient grounds In orc Of the St.
Louis courts distressed phcmalc ask
ing for dcIivcrarce, assigns that
"Tlc first chill her affections received
was on the Wedding tour, when she
caught cold and was not allowed to have
fire at the hotel, on account of the eX-
pcnsc. Her next shock was from tough
bceGStcak seasoned with lard. The dead
ly stab Was the husbands refusal to fur
nish her with a feather bed y killing
blow was his unkindncSs to her sisters;
but the "unkindcst cut" of all was his
rctceucc at the dinner table; he did not
help her to the mutton chops; failed to
pass the potatoes; neglected TO furnish
her plate with vegetables, and left her to
help herself
Chickens arc wanted over III Sanders
vile, Ga, the editor there adycrtiscs for
one thousand. lie says:
''Tc is getting ready to feed the MethO-
dist preachers at the approaching Con-
vcntion, which is to be held at that place
the last Of this month" "
Few ladies are so modest as TO refuse
to sit in the lap Of luxury.
"Pridc goc:A before fall" 1t often
gocs before waterfall.
1t is exceeding bad husb&ndry to har-
row up the feelings Of Your wife.
Whats best 10 prevent old men from
tlcSpairing ? Echo: "Paring.'
MnssKS. WILSON & WICKER arc out
again in to-days paper, with a notice
that they are prepared to accommodate
customers with variety Of desirable
and cheap goods. Call and see their
"mcangc."