Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1867-12-12
Mntmuraas department.
JOY IN THE HOUSE OF WARD.

found the immortal waters of yooth, so to
speak, and am as timber and frisky as atwo
year old steer, and in the future them boys
which sez to me ego up, old Bawld head,
will do SO at the peril of their hazard indi-
vidooly. I'm very happy. My house is
full fjoy, and have to git up nights and
larf! Sumtimes I ak myself els it not a
dream ?" & suthin withinto me sez ''it air ;"
but when look at them sweet little crit
ters and hear 'um squeak, I know it is re.
ality-2 realitys, I may say-and l feel
gay.
+ returned from the Summer Campane
with nv unparalleled show Of wax works
and livin wild Beests of Pray in the early
part of this month. The people of Baldius'
vile met me- cordully, and immejitly com.
menst resting myself with my famerly
The other mite While I was down to the tav.
urn tostin my shiEs agin the bar room fire
& amusin the krowd with sum of my adVen.
turs, who shood cum in bare heded and ter.
rible excited but Bill Stokes, who sez, SEE
he, cold Ward, there's CRATE doins up to
your house"
Sez I, stWilliam, how so ?"
Sez he, "Bust my gizzud, but it is CRATE
doins," & then he larfed as if heed kill his
self.
Sez I, risin and putin on austeer look.
"Wiliam, I Iwooldunt be fool if 1 had com
mon cents
But he kept on larfn til he was black in
the face, when he fell over on to the bunk
where the hostler sleeps, and in still small
voice sed, "Twins!' ashure you gents
that the grass didn't grow under my feet or
my way home, & I was follered by enthoo
siastic throng of my feller sitterzens, who
hurrard for old Ward at the top of their
voises. I found the house chock full Of
peple. Thare was Mis- Square Baxter and
her three grown up darters, lawyer Per
kinses wife, Taberthy Ripley, young Eber
Parsums, Deakun Simmuns folks, the Skool
master, Doctor Jordin, etsettery. Mis-
Ward was in the west room which jines the
kitchin. Mis- Square Baxter was mixir
suthin in dipper before the kitchin fire 3
q small army of female wimin were rushir
wildly round the house with bottles of cam
fire, peaces of fannil, &c. never see6
such hubub in my natrul born dase.
Good not stay in the west room only a min
it, so strung up was my feelins, so 1 rusht
out and ceased my dubbel barrild gun.
"What upon airth ales the man?' sec
Taberthy Ri pley. "Sake alive, what al,
you doin!'' and she grabd me by the coat
tales. ''What's the matter with you?" sht
continerd.
s'Twins, marm," sez I, ''twins p
81 know it, sez she, coverin her pretty
face with her apun.
"Wall, sez 1, "that's what's the matter
with me !''
swell, put down that air gun, you peskJ
old fool sed she.
''No, man," sed I, "this is Nashuna
day. The glory of this here day isn't con
fined to Baldensville by darn site. Or
yonder woodshed," sed I, DRAWN myself ur
to my full hite and speakin in show actin
voice, twill I fire Nashunal saloot p say
in which tared myself from her grasp anc
rusht to the top of the shed WHARF I blazec
away until Square Baxter's hired man ant
my son Artemus Juneyer cum and took mt
down by name force.
On returnin to the Kitchin I found quite
lot of people seated be4 the fire, q talki1
the event over. They made room for mi
& I sot down. "Quite episode" SCI
Doctor Jordin, .litin his pipe with red no
coal.
''Yes," sed I, '2 episodes, waying abow
Is pounds jintly."
"a perfeck coop de tai" said the skool
master.
ssE pluribus unum, in proprietor per
sony" sed I, thinking I'd let him know
understood furrin langwidges as well as b
did, if I wasn't skoolmaster.
cit is indeed momentious event, sal
young Eben Parsuns, who has been 2 quar-
ters to the Academy.
81 never heard twins called by that nam
afore," sed I, "but I spose it's all rite"
ssWe shall soon have Wards enuff," sal
the editer of the Baldinsville Bugle Of LsJ
erty, who was lookin over bundle of ex
change papers in the corner, "to apply t.
the legislator for City Charter ?"
"Good for you, old man !" said I, "gi
that air conspickius place in the next Bs1
gle."
"How ridicklus," sed pretty Susal
Fletcher, coverin her face with her knittil
work & larfn like all possest.
"Wall, for my part" sed Jane Mari
Peasley who is the crossest old made il
the world, ~ think you all act like a pacl
of FOOLS
Sez /, "Mis Peasley, air you parent? p
"Sez she, 'sNo, I aint.
sez I, sMis Peasly, you never will be.
She left.
We sot there talkin & larfn until 9Th
witchin hour of mite, when grave yard
yawn s costs troop 4th," as old Bill Shake
spire aptlee observes in his dramy Of Johl