The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1867-02-27
FASHIONABLE lAIELLIGEnCE
Etiqustte OF Parties.

1
! time to arrange their engagements and prepare
| their dresses for your entertainment Invita-
| ton cards are twice as large as common visit
| ing cards, and bear the name OF the hostess
| and the words "At home,i followed by her adj
! dress, and the hour and evening. Balls mas
| querades and soirees npusIcd es are Indicated
! by the words ''music," "maskn or "dancinpD
! in the lower left-hand corner of the card.
"ComplimentG," The honor of your company
and such hourishes of pOliteness are out Of
! style.
Rough cards have been fashionable for some
| time, but the latest invention is the pearl"
| card, which is clipped in solution Of zluc,
| which crystallzes in thin, feathery sheen over
| the surface, appearing like frosted silver. The
| most enormous mOnogtams are now in style for
| envelopes. separate card should be sent to
| each member of a family invited, or at least one
| to the lady OF the house and her husband one
| for the young ladies, and one for the sons.
Guests OF the family invited should also receive
separate cards. The initials r. s. V. p, slgni-
| tying that an answer Is desired are no longer
added TO invitations, as 1t is taken for granted
| that If person does not or cannot accept they
| will signify the TACT at once. Sending ones
| card, with "regrets, is sufficient
On The evening of the reception, servant
should be in attendance at the head of the stairs,
| to direct guests to the dressingroOms for gen.
! tlemen and ladies', which are at some distance
! from each other. The escort conducts the lady
in his charge to the door of the dressing-room,
and afterwards waits for her near it. Forlorn
damsels who are detained in the halls vainly
waiting till some autocratic brother or ignorant
attendant pokes his head out OF the gentlemen's
room to il she is ready, are held to be iustl-
fed in requiring his attendance at once to her
| own doorstep, and dismssIng him there.
Giving his right arm to the lady, her escort
| leads her down at once to the hostess to whom
| the first sautatioLs are always due. To receive
| these, the lady OF the house should stand near
| the door by which guests enter. 1t is an
assumption in decided bad taste for her to
| stand In the centre of the room, compelling her
| guests to come forward and salute her like q
| queen. She is to look and speak welcome to
each person, even if she ring the changes on
! pleased to see you," and Hope you'll find the
! evening pleasant" till they fall mechanics ly
! from her almost paralyzed lips. One cannot but
| admire the ready wit and tact of those queens
OF society whose best commendation is that
! 'they always have something new to say to
everybody The task of forming five hundred
! pretty phrases would be no light composition,
even without facing a constant gush OF arrivals
| to whom each phrase must be adapted. A
woman of society has price to pay for her
| popularity, and these tasks OF hospitality are
part of it.
| 1t is the duty OF guest to second the efforts
made to give him pleasure. In company one
| should look cheerful, If not gay. Learn the
versatile disposition that suits itself to the occa-
| sion. No matter if you are in an inward shud-
| der of fbashlulness, keep out of the corners, and
| say something TO somebody; but, II possible,
let 1t not be about the weather. Yourself, your
occupation, and anMetles you leave behind,
| and be careful not 10 suggest the same person
alties to Others. The rule OF conversation is,
that if you wish to be intimate with your COM
paRion you talk of yourself and your affairs; if
| you would be kind. speak of his interests and
If you would be agreeable too, make third
| parties and general topics Your subjects. In
society, an even, cour teous pose towards all is
best, and more etfectually stimulates and pre-:
serves interest than snowy enpTessmem of
manner. Prejudices, dislikes, and peculiarities
should disappear under veil OF smiling polite
ness, Let no one brand this precept as dis
stimulation merely, or arbitrary conventional
ism. Let such imagine what the world would
be If there was no conceament, no suppress
sion OF peculiarities, but each one went about
many-angled, with whlms, preferences, an
tpathies, and enthusiasm, juthng against those
of everybody else. We find one eccentric per-
son in our circle all but insupportable; what
would we do if society were made up of such? ?
The duties of the hostess are but begun when
her guests are welcomed and received. At
least, it used to be held in the polite old times
that she should circulate among her guests,
diffusing gracious attentions about her, espe-
cially on the undressing and dltident, Her
daughters and sons emulated her i'll social
charity; and the smiling behests OF the lady
mistress were laid upon the gentlemen to search
out the ne elected wall-howers TOR at least one
dance apiece. Modern society is more needless
and selfish. Many a snobblsh hostess dlsmlsses
thought and regard for the insignificant ma
jority of her guests as soon as the instncere
hattery Of welcome leaves her lips.
The first duty OF gentleman is to the lady he
escorts; to see that the best possible place is
provided for her; to give her the preference as
partner of his dances; to promenade with and
wait upon her; introduce her to bis friends, and
| see that she dances all that she would like.
This is to be done without making ones atten-
tions conspicuous. Probably ON the same
grounds that you refuse to be helped more than
twice to dalntes, you are not TO dance more
than twice with the same lady. The proper
form of asking lady to dance contains some
RECOGNITION of ''the favorn "the honor" in
true knightly style; but Young America III its
shorthand of pollteness, comes up, mutters
"dance? ?" inteTrogatively, sticks out It's elbow,
and marches OFF with its prey. cool, uncom-
| pretending look is good counteractlon 10
such impertinence. Equally modern IS the
unconcein with which boys in the ball room
Cthey cannot be called gentlemenl deposit their
charge in the nearest seat after having danced,
and rush of, without even bow to acKno~-
. ledge the lady's favor. k
Quadrilles are walked through, slight benu
, or courtesy marking changes in the hgures
sufficiently for grace. Violent waltzing, polklng,
or chasseeing are very ill-bred: Americans
| usually waltz too fast The highest grace OF
the walters seem circling on plVots over the
floor EkEEN
. 1t is perfectly proper, if you find yourself
Z with some one YOU don't know, at party, and
= you are both socially inclined, TO speak without
= an Introduction. To draw up and look sur
prised at being casually addressed by q
g stranger, is to show your want OF good feeling
most selfish persons alive, II you cannot 06
y agreeable for few minutes, because your com
e panion may possibly not be one OF the mos
: desirable ACQUISITIONS in the room.
u The principal suggestion for the supper room
n is, that YOU preserve as much as possible OF th(
ls same propriety you would show at lunch IN thC
= basement at home. Anything further In the
u way OF elegance is not attalnaole IN the lhsul
n terable crowdmg and rushing ABOUT az parry
| A