The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1867-03-13
sut ToFengood's Dream.

m0uthful SWoilafd L neafh IL spioSh IN my
heels. I was dry an empty both, by golly-
so dry that after hit us purity wellup in my
paunch, hit soaked through an stood all ovel
nv belly in draps, maxim it look like bic
riticule kiyered with beads, but / sweied tigh
arter while, an then / filed up purity soon
AS soon as | could reach hit, By runnin' I
spoon handle down my front, | shot off steam
an sot hit TO rovin' roun. HIT want long
afore I found myself tangled By the laigs il
the dorg fennel an I fell head down bill, 50
thought the mos peaceful thing I could dc
were tn 60 tn sleep tlinkin' of runnn' wind
j, mill Well, | dreamed me a dream. thought
| were in hell, an had been sent there fur vo-
tin the Radikil ticket. / felt the justice owe
the sentence, so much so that didn't feel Sc
uneasy an mad about bit as | wud been il
they had sent me fur murdern' blind ole
/ oman, or maxim back log owe some gals
fns baby, arter soakin' it in turpenline, or
SIGH like common weakness. | thought had
been thar long enough TO sorter begin tn git
used to the taste owe the whisky they stills
down thar, an must say thinks hit a little
! better than the truck whatthe skulkers out owe
the Confederate army billed for the Govern
ment, because hit dident create the appetite TO
cuss, steal or desert half as soon, anime in
Tophct at that. Twas safer whisky, George,
safer whisky. Well! | thought hell was a
PERFECTLY roun' hole-as roun' as bumbshell,
right plum in the centre owe Tie yearth The
walls were glazed as slick as fin ingyun peelin' :,
an hit were jst half-full owe melted dinner
pots, dog irons an ole clock weights, with a
scum owe srnokin' birthstone foot deep. The
| devil stayed aboard owe boat, an had himself
rowed roun' jist AS he pleazed, by the jury
which foun' the true bill agin jeff. Davis.
| They look sorter like they'd like to have an
other pop at that job. I think, by golly,
! they'd hunt a long spell afore they foun' hit
agin if they jist had another chance.
[ thought thar were long featheraidged
elects nailed on the walls TO climb by They
were squar- aidged up so the clnin' had all to
be done On one side, an whenever felers got
tired of swimmin'. they jist sot in to cmbin'.
sunk in the melted water up to the pint of
thar tail bones, an then, by the gost owe a
scared monkey, they've come up overland tn
thar work agin, jist wrigglin' an a snortin'.
They worked like squirrels on uedmill.
Durn'd if they dident keep the thing rollin'
strait along, an, George, jst as sure as yuisa
foot high, that's what keeps the yearth turnin'
aroun' I has foun out at las Well one
day the trap door opened, and the devil or
dered ole Forney TO steer under the hole. He
steers wild, an after sWimmin nearly all over
hell he got hit thar, when down poured into the
boat the durnd'st sluice of mean lookin' cusses
yu ever seed. Every body already thar turned
their heads to look at 'em and clom faster,
skeered at 'em, by golly! They were Radi-
kills, the last durn'd one. Some had roaps
aroun' their mex, with runnin' nuce ahin' the
year, some had bad holes in their heads, some
had big gill cut under Their chins, and every
one shode signs of hard times and hurry.
Among 'em [ seed Stevens, Sumner, Wade,
Butler-surnamed the Beast-an' Wendell.
Phillips. Hey! SEE the devil, whats
wrong aboye-cholery 'Wus nor that,
seq Sumner, the Constitution people has rz,
an owe korse WE ARE ALL HERE. Say, yer
majesty, is Preston Brooks here!' 'Oh, no,
seq the devil. WELL SEE Sumner sorter
frightening up, and rubbin' his hands, I'm
durn'd glad he amt Stop mint seq the
devil, wait onil | sort yu all OUT He TUX
up needle as long as harpoon, and with
big pile Of trace chains he threaded it. Then
he picked out all the common cusses among
'em and strung 'em on the chain, runnin' the |
needle in at their mouths, or lcttn' it come out
thar forget which-and then hung the |
whole bunch over the aidge owe the boat into
the birthstone. Jehossafat how they sizzled |
an sloshed an dove, and sp4.inkled hot iron
about wifi their tails A string of sun pearch
would have been iist nowhar
While the devil were strngin' the small fry,
Butler, surname the Beast, aidged back to
whar | sot in the boat, a keepin' one eye sot
on the devil and 'tother on me, and he whis-
Dered in my ear, 'What's Sisyphus p SEE |,
don't know; why W ooh ! nothin', only
wanted to see which knowed the most owe our
trades, him or me. Then he whispered (that
mortal off eye owe hisn still sot on the devil,
Say, does yu know whar his majesty keeps
bis spoons = SEE l, Does you see that
chain hangin' over the stern? He keeps 'em
in big pot sunk at 'tother end of hit He
st went over the starn head fus', an coon'd
hit down the chain outen sight under the
birthstone.
After bein' gone a spell, he come back look
n disapinted like, but his gineral looks were
powerfully improved by his bath in melted +
orimstone. swow, he looked heap more
ike a human. SEE he, Gone, pot an ALL
opened my eyes. SEE he, : Haint Forney
got 'em ? SEE |, May be So he's been
umbn' roun' the starn good while Dam if r
le didn't sarch every pocket Forney had, an
he ole cuss never cotch him at hit, an he GOT
HE SPOONS. While this were gwine on, old i
Ihad. were tryin' to claim kin wifi the devil,
. comparin' his foot along wifi old Nick's. l
hink the pint were to git an office, for heard
he devil keep sayin' No, no, be dam if |
10, we has order here now An all the time
BE Wade were a pesterin' his majesty for a
rec ticket on his doggery l seed that the
levil were gitten monstrous Uneasy. Wen
lell Phillips kepta watchin' fus' the side that
vent down onder the cinders, an then the
de what come up out owe the lake. He iist
topped overheard, and swum over thar an
ryin' his durndest to turn hit tother way, he'd
,rab the slopin' side owe the elects, an then
Josh back agin among the melted dogirons an
'rimstone. [ reckon he must made fifty
rails afore he quit and swum back to.the boat, /
n then he sot in the most yearnest manner
Q persuadn' the devil to take off the elects.
n, nail 'em on agin upside down, SO as to RUN a
IELL BACKWARDS, AN Owe KoRsE THE OUT G