The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1867-06-06
Humorous.

g Ladies and gentlemen, if the tragedy
don't stop, the baby can't go on
A story is told of young man who
was crossed in love, and attempted !
suicide by taking a dose of yeast pow
der. He Immediately rose above his
troubles.
:" It is shame husband, that | have
to sit here mending your old clothes!
Don't say word about 1t wife, the
least said, the sooner mended.
An old bachelor seeing the words,
:. Families supplied" over the door of
a shop, stepped in and said he would
take wife and two children.
The celebrated Doctor South on an
occasion preached before the corpo-
ration of tailors. He took for his
text the appropriate words" A rem
nant shall be saved
A chap advertises in Boston for
board to be paid for in " frst-class
dentistry He wants to insert his
own teeth and pull out the. teeth of
somebody else.-
All travellers who intend to take
the +" first train in the morning
should have hosty pudding with coper
sauce for breakfast.
Honolulu dispatches announce the
death of the famous Colonel Caesar
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
Observation-Disclosures
Continued in our next.
Miss wilkins was beautiful
blonde, and she wanted to go to Scar
borough. SO she told her mother to
look for something very particular for
her dear papa.
And what is it, pray" asked her
mother. g that you so much wish to
find for your dear papa?''
:" A son-in-l law, was the gentle re-
ply of the blushing maiden.
Two young gentlemen of Munich,
says German paper, were sitting by
table, enjoying couple of mugs of
Brey's best, and their cigars, when
one said to the other:
II would like first rate to see Paris
awhile this Spring or Summer"
There is nothing to prevent 1t.
About how much does it cost per
day, on the average?"
"Well, for hundred francs day
you can see Paris splendidly."
And if | take my wife?
"Oh, then fifty francs day will be
plenty"
The late Professor Vince one morn
ing Several trees having been blown
down the night previously meeting a
friend in the walks of st. Johns Col
lege, Cambridge, was accosted with
How dye do, sir? Quite clustering
wind this " Yes, answered Vince,
ait is a rare mathematical wind. !"
Mathematical wind, exclaimed the
other. How SOP" Why" replied
Vince, Z" it has extracted a great many
roots.
a young gentleman who was at one
time very much smitten with pretty
| little : Friend" said that in his trav-
els through the West Indies he often
felt some very severe shocks from
earthquakes, but they were not a cir
cumstance when compared with those
experienced from this little earth
| quaker.
Parson Green, an American preach
er, in the habit of sometimes draw
ing upon box of sermons bequeathed
him by his father, who was also a
minister, upon one occasion got hold
of sermon, by mistake, which the
1 old gentleman had once preached to
the State prison convicts. 1t opened
we'll, and the congregation were be-
coming greatly interested, when all
at once the parson surprised them
with the information that had it not
, beenfor the clemency of the Cover
nofySevery one of them would have
been hanged long time ago"
A newly arrived boarder at one Of
our fashionable boarding houses
thought he had not sufficient bolster
ing for his head, and accordingly car
ried the pillows down to the land
lady's room, who inquired what he
desired. The gentleman wanted to
know what the articles were which he
held in his hands. Pillows, you
impudent fellowl" screamed the en-
ragged woman. "Oh | thought they
we're pin cushions replied the dis
consulate boarder.
A gentleman who lives in a quiet
town near Milwaukee was invited to
/ bring his wife to the city and spend
the holidays. He said he would be
glad to do SO, but his wife was ex-
pecting a new bonnet from New Y ork
: and if it did not come she would not
allow herself in fashionable society
On Monday the Milwaukee gentleman
ISreceived the following note: My
wife has got the bonnet. 1t came by
express. This is an episode. You
ought to see it. 1t looks like mig