The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1867-12-21


Magazine Articles " Short story
Short Stories...... l Novel
NOVels........ ,.s...''. success.
small Incomes. / Fair Fortune.
Fair Fortunes....... " TollOl Reputation.
Tol-lol Regulations Worldwide Fame.
o NUorld ,,t,,o 19or,osu / Public Dinner at
"'' Guinea head!
DICTIONARY FOR DRAMATIC AUTHORS.
ADAPT. Toto be able to translate French
into English not only literally but sensibly.
For instancef had you to turn the following
into Englsh:-"Un salon dams le chateau de
La Marquise de Cdatedubriant," you would
adapt it thus:-"M Morning rooms at Oaklands,
the country seat o. Lavinia Aarchioness FTtz-
TreyyUian."
AcrING.-See Buffoonery.
DIALOGUE A.-The string of talkee-tallSee
upon which you thread your pearls Of scenery.
Dialogue in play has been in fashion for
many years, but it seems now to be gradually
dying out before the approach of the artists
paint-brush.
EXTRAVAGANZA, ANA sort of Christmas
pantomime, brought out at all seasons of the
year. 1t consists chiefly of bosh, bunkum,
folly, and twaddle. 1t is necessary to carry
Slang Dictionary, with your opera-glasses,
when you pay visit to one of these enter
tainments o. (See also BURLEsQUE and
LUNAcY.)
ORlGINALITY.-The art of sucking other
mems brains. To be original, you must turn
somebody's novel into piece and call it your
own. Thus if story is published which
proves great success, it is your business as
an 'originap' author to steal the plot, the
oil tIa ohar fOro
new piece, which of course you must register
as your own property.
PIRACY.-The act of stealing from an "origi-
nal' dramatist the plot he has already pilfered
from an original novelist. Fortunately, this
scandalous crime can easily be put down with
all the terrors of the law.
From Fun.
STANDARD QUOTATIONS.
"I give thee all, can no''--MoRB.
GA famous man was Robin"-HooD.
'If were King Of France, or, far better''-
POPE OF ROME.
''The ploughboy is whooping''-ANoN.
ga poet could not but be''-GAY.
"And so does Mrs."-JoHNsoN.
''It was Friar Of orders'-GRAY.
"Two oFA TRADE CAN NEVER AGREE"
does not apply to gin and bitters.
SAY!
A MADRIGAL.
Say, have you seen my Celia pass,
With locks of gold and lips OF cherry;
With foot so light upon the grass,
1t scarcely shakes the dewdrops merry?
say, have you seen the lovely maid,
AtJired in flowing gown and klrCle,
And wearing round her browS braid
OF roses, gillifowers, and myrtle?
Saw have YOU met her on the down,
Or where the purllng orooklets cnaIter'
Or in the meads, or near the town =
You haven't? Well. it doesn't matter!
THE ARGUMENTUM AID ABsURDUM.-We never
believe a man when he processes to be re-
strained from marrying by the extravagant
style of female dress. Such arguments, as
a lady observed to us, are simply taL-Iat-
acious.
BULLY FOR YoU.-The press of Madrid is
writing down bull-fghting. But the motive
is not humanity but economy. 1t seems that
bull-fghting costs the nation about two hun
dred thousand pounds per annum, so the
papers have determined to take the bull by
the horns. We wish them success, no matter
what their motive is, for the extinction Of the
brutal sport will be "a good Mad-riddance of
bad rubbish"
A SUGGEsTIoN.-Th police are now taking
extra precautions for their own-and, let us
hope, for the public-safety; may we hint
that it would in no way impair the efficiency
of members of the force if they were supplied
with a dram of mountain dew before mountin'
! du-ty2
REASON OR INSTINCT IA friend of ours pos
sesses a retriever so highly trained that he
will, at the word of command, fetch copy Of
Tupper's "Proverbial Philosophy from the
nearest booksellers but-sensible animal-he
never attempts to swallow the contents. That
dog deserves a testimonial-a boney-fde one.
From THE HEART-Io REGIoNs.-The Hull
whalers have had a bad time of it last season,
many of them returning to port comparatively
''clean." Strange sights abound in those
little-frequented latitudes, yet everything that
came under the notice of the crews was so
very unlike a whale that it almost had the
effect of making the men themselves "blub-
| ber."
TRIPPNG.-A A contemporary informs us that
"The young women of Kenosha, Wisconsin,
are to compete for prizes at a dancing tOurna-
ment" Surely, this is putting the matter on
a wrong footing. Tournaments were for the
display of feats of arms, not of feats OF legs.
At the dancing competition the President will
be the King of (dancing) Booty, we suppose,
and list slippers will be excluded from the