Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1867-03-27
Iedediah ParseIey's Letter


Jedediah ParseIey's Letter
ITO the Editor of the New York Republican,
DEAR SIR Perhaps you never wen
Down East about muster time and
FhanksgiYin', and in course you DOM
know nothin' about huskin' frolics anC
parin' bees and such like. In such
case, Pm into you all about no particu.
lar measure at all, see in it's you, and
don't kere if 1 let you into some sar
tin dom in these parts, that come of,
as you Workers say, next fall will be
Two years. Now, if 1 do tell the hull
story i shall depend on your honor,
land kalkilate that's rayther better
than Mississippi bonds, that you won't
let out on me, reausef you did should
have Hetty GaWkins in my hair in NO
time, and maybe sooner, and Prudence
Parr would never let me stay with her
agin in all creation. Sohere goes; and
as every thing has title nowadays, l
go in for theal5r= .. sTs ....
75 7a. PAKIN' BEE.
And you never went to Parin Bee
Well, to tell the fair truth, never did
to only one, and pair me into hoop
poles if ever dew agin. 1t was real
screamer, for that matter both on ac-
count of what happened there, and
what befel afterwards. l have been to
huskin' frolics and quiltin's, and mus
ters, and fourth of Independence, and
raisin's, but only to one gineWine, high
preshure Parin' Bee, and blame the
luck but before l got threw had an
allsuficient paTia' scraped off my shin
bone, along with a pair of new boots
all gone 10 eternal smash, beside pair
of spoilt trowsers for mother to scold
about for a year afterwards. You see,
Col. Gristle made heparty. You know
Col. Gristle, s'pose? He's the Major
of our regiment. though we call him
Colonel out of compliment. Well,
the Colonel and his new wife, Coz.
Becky, made the frolic, and in course
had an invite, and so did all the gals,
and fellers for miles round. 1t was
goin' to be famous one, and so moth
er she went up to help Coz. Becky git
out the fxin's the day afore ;-and
when she came home that mite, by gol-
IyI II my:mouth didn't water when
she told over about the ovens-full of
punkin pies and the piles of doenuts,
to say nothin' about the lasses cake and
new slider, all ready and slowed away
in the back buttry. She said how the
Col. was agoin to set the two birch ta-
bles in the fore room, and kalkilated to
fix sum boards in the kitchen to put
the rest of the Vittles on arter they'd
got done parin', and as they expected
about 40 all told, and there wafn't
cheers enuf for all to set, they had got
to eat standin', which was the most
polite way, and the Col. he kne1g, for
he had been down to the Legislator all
last winter and he seed how the big
folks doneit. Gracious thought l, if
l don't make up for that though, II
can eat as much agin that way, it goes
down so much stIater. Well, towards
mite the next day, while was gettin'
ready, who should come along but Jim
Spooner. Jim and 1 had alters been
pretty thick, and told each other every
thing How are you Jedy says he. Oh,
right as a book, says l, 'How's yours?'
Jest about so, only a leetle taller
goin' up to the Kurnels' to mite? Yes,
by hokey, says l, if ] can ever get
these tarnal boots on Pore soft soap
into them, says he, and they'll go on
as smooth as ile.' They were a bran
new pair Of calf skins, and had been
tuggin' at the straps half an hour afore
Jim cum, so 1 run for the sope dish, and
in went pint of mothers best, and
sure enuf on they went, squash ! Why
you darnd fool p says Jim, you orter
pored the sope out afore you stuck
your feet in.' We'll, never mind says
1, for was in an alfred hurry, cause
it was gittin' late, never mind-they
feel cool and comfortable jest now.
may be soap will soften the leather
and off we started. I had on my new
drabJ trowsers. We had just got
home from the mill, and Aunt Kitty
sot up all mite to finish them for the
occasion. My coat was only comm
two years old, and l felt that warn't
to be sneezed at by folks who hadn't
got no noses. Jim and had agreed
that we'd borrow Deacon
Dimon's old mare and wagon, and so
bring home some of the gals; SO we
went into the old Deacon's to get her
as we vent along. The old man was
pesky feerd she'd cut up some internal
caper with US, cause, you see, she was
sorter skittish like, and besides, he
knew that Jim was rather wild feller
and didn't care no more for a nine
pence than blue cat does when her
back is up. But told him I'd drive
and be keerful, and to clinch the mat
ter we paid him two shillins and prom
ised the other next day, SO he told us
if we thought we could catch the beast
we might try it, and out We went to
the psster. But the old mare was as
shy as a black fox, and wouldn't be
come over so easy. She laid her ears
back of her neck, and rolled out the
white of her eye, as much as to say
'nothin' green here youngsters,' and
OF she started on a tall trot, her tail
switchin' this way and that way, like
all nature, clear to toEher end of the
paster. A weary chase we had of it, l
tell you, afore we could corner her
At last we got her in between the fence
and a big rock, and Jim he crept up on
one side and on tother, till at last / |
made grab at her foretop. But no
sooner did 1 lay my hand on her than
she wheeled on her hind feet, in the
of drum stick, and landed |
me as much as twenty feet end over
end. into brush heap. 'Consarn the
Zip 2 say l, and l picked myself up
about the quickest-and when l looked 1
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