The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1867-07-26
Our an Snrts.


What ailments are policemen mos afflict-
ell withf With felons on their hands.
An actor was shot dead by his mistress
In Memphis She thought he acted badly.
One rarely rcpenis OF having kept ST.
lcnce; one often repents Of having spoken.
Live within your means, if you would
have means within which to live.
The greatest scandal IN tho world 10 the
worlds readiness to believe scandal. LA
Ladies Of fashion sta1e their happiness
to feed their vanity. EiFN0'S77
A thousand parsies-of pleasure do not
leave recollection worth ihat Of one good
action.
Ink made from india rubber n the latest
invention. Il will DO used mainly by writ.
ers who are inclined to "stre,ch ssory."
a young sailor who rcceived blowing
up from his sweetheart, called her wind
lass.
To love something mors than ones self-
that is the secret Of all that 10 great; to
know how to live for others-that is the
aim Of oil noble souls. sE.-Es sgss
} Il Is filter Tor youth to learn than teach,
and for age to teach than learn and yet
filter for an old man to learn than be igno-
rnnt. - Y --n "I
A new author asked an editor his opinion
Of his books The answer waA ~ have
forDd great deal Of good and original
inalier in them bot what was good IVES
no, original, and what was original was no.
good"
Day, painting with heat and laden with q
Thousand cares, tolls onward like beast Of
burden but nigh,-calm, silent, holy night
lis ministering angel that cools with It's
icwy breath the toil-heated brow.
voltairc said physician Is a man who
mixes drugs Of which he knows little, to-
pour into q body Of which no knows leS,
10 cure disease OF which be knows moth.
ing. N
III. w. Beecher says: Tho man that
would shoot robin, except in the Tall, and
then really and conscicntiously for food.
has in him the blood Of cannibal, and
would, if born in tho Fejcc Islands, have
edtch uhsS<osSs saso os6cS<eo esos" WV
A country doctor, going on foot to scc a
patient In ncighboring village, took gun
to amusc himself on the road. A patient
met him and asked him whittier he was
going. sTo SEQ patient" was the reply.
"Are you afraid Of missing him?" was the
now inquiry. - - ... -.
A hen is said to have the capacity Of lay.
ing GOO eggs and no more-a few in her
Ara year. from 800 to $40 in the next three,
and the rest from the ffth to the ninth in
elusive. The true economy, therefore. Is
not to keep hens after their fourth year.
There 10 IN editor out West, who, when
no is short Of matter, sends out his paper
with one side or page entirely blank, mere.
" drawing his subscribers attention to the
fact by note: - This space will be very
useful for the children TO write upon"
On the headboard Of grave in the Spar.
Tn diygings, California, Is inscribed, "In
memory Of John Smith. who met violent
death near this spot Is hundred and 40 too.
lie was shot by his own pistill. Il WINS not
one Of the new kind but an old fashioned
brass barrel, and Of such Is the kingdom Of
Heaven" FIT,
There 10 sun.dial in Italy which bears
this inscription: mark the hours that
shine" Aye, that is the secret Of a cheer
fil and greatful heart, to Z" mark the hours
that shine" lie who does this will ortii-
narily find moro hours that shine than that
arc clouded - moro good than III in his
lot; and he shall never DO able to say,
have no occasion for thanksgiving.
A caricatnro recently seen ut Matamous
represented Uncle Sam lying flat on his
back with Canada underneath him, and
while his head was in his Russian purchase,
taking an iced drink, his legs were crampcd
up by rickcty fence named Mexico I'm
Gle Sam meditatingly says he will have to
stretch out his legs directly. The picture
tickles the Texans amazingly.
The highest achievement Of a politician
in the j,,dicious kissing Of bobics. II goes
straight to the mothers heart, and makes
her scalous canvusscf Cor the balance OF
the campaign. In kissing babies Of larger
growth, especially if they arc pretty. and
the persuasion female, there Is danger OF
being regarded rs one having an eye to per-
sonal attractions. Hut with little babies the
case is different. and the act is an undoubt-
ell compliment to the little darling's mother.
Now, early responsibility Is almost equi.
Yalen, to carly sobriety. lf a stick Of tim.
her, standing upright, waivers, lay q beam
ON il, and put weight ON that, and see how
still tho stick becomes Aud if young men
WAIVER and vaseillase, pat responsibility on
them, and how il siraightcns them up
What power il gives them How il holds
oil that is bad in them in restraint! How
quickly IL duvstops and puts forward oil
that is good in them.
. In the town Of jim Connecticut, lived
an eccentric character, Squire S., noted
Tor his odlity and singular speeches The
town hcarsc, having by long usc, got into
a dilapidatcd condition, IL was determined
10 get up subscription and rcpair Il. In
due time tho committee called on s.
and asked him to subscribe for tho object.
"No," said the Squirc, 81 won't give sim
sle cent. Tweuty ycars ngo l subscribed
five dollars To build the old thing, and nei-
Their myself Dos my family ever had any
Use Tor Il from that day TO This, and won't
SSci cent TO rpar H." > Y lINil
Hero IS specimen Of paradox ths, may
a,nusc the young folks. There is one way
ID which IS may be deducted from Is, and
IS will be the remainder. Look: ~
Put Nh tho FUNERALS down in reverse or
der. Then put them down underneath, ~
the right order, and the sum Of all thRS 81
the lines viii DO the same, viz: lsAEsJos
gS7 $50 3 2 las