The Plymouth weekly Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1860-1869, 1867-04-04

would not be just the thing to 90 to the
door with frying pan in his hand, so he
deposited it on the parlor sofa, and an
swered the ring.
Mrs. DR.. Nudge was cn tie stops, dress
ed in all her best
"Yes, dare say" stsr.mered Keith.
''my wife is absent, ard am playing
Bridget Walk in"
MIS-. Nudge sailed into the parlor, whicf.
vas da-kened to exclude the sun, and with
out stopping to lcok at her seat, sunk into
the frying pan on Tic sofa.
Jupiter cried Mr.. Keith, you have
done it now
Mrs. Nudge sprang up, the grease drip
ping from the rich silk or the carpet
Her face grew dark. She was tempted to
say something cutting, but managed to COZ
troll herself bowed haughtily and swept
ont Of the house
Keith returned to the kitchen little
crestfallen, for Mrs Nudge was a lady be-
fore whom hs desired tc appear particu
larly well.
There was :. Tremendous cracking in the
oven. He thought Of his pudding, and he
looked at it. The burnt rice had hoped
Ell over the oven; the basin had melted
apart and the pudding was not done. He
shut the door upon the rnins in disgust.
and looked after his potatoes, only to find
them boiled to jelly. And just as soon
as he had made the discovery there was
very sharp peal at the bsll
erection there's that a ominatle bell
again. wish folks would stay at home
I'll loci: all the doors and cut all the bell
wires after to-day
At TIE door he met Mr. and Mrs. Fid-
get AID their children.
my dear Sir. Keith. How do you do?"
cried Mrs. Fidget. eve were in town
and thought we'd just step in to dinner.
Where is Mrs Keith p
'.She's gone away" said Keith, rueful-
ly, wondering what he should feed them
on; "Walk in, DO. l am house-keeper
to-day"
eyes, GO l should Judge But of course
you make splendid one. l remember you
Used to be frequently telling Mrs. Keith
and myself how very easy house-k eeping
must be. 1t must be mere play to you
Don't put yourself out beg"
"Put myself out, indeed, cried Keith,
retreating to the kitchen. Good gracious.
what shall do? "Td give a hundred dol
lars if Mary was only here. Where shall
begin?"
He drew out the table, and set it without
any cloth; then took off the plates and put
or cloth, the very one he had wiped the
dishes on. The task completed, he put on
some more potatoes and some more steak,
burned the steak to a cinder; took off his
potatoes when he did his meat, and put all
upon the table. There was loaf Of bakers
bread IN the cupboard; he paraded that,
and called his guests to dinner
4 quizzical smile spread over Mrs. Fid-
gets face at the sight Of the repast. Keith
was in cold perspiration.
MA, my plates all greasy, and SOS my
knife. l can't eat or dirty dishes" cried
little Johny Fidget.
"And my fork is wet all over with water
that's dropping off the table cloth and my
tater amt half billed, cried little Jane Fid-
get.
GA slight noise in the kitchen drew the
attention of Mr.. Kieth.
" Jupiter p he cried, sif Mrs. O. Flaher-
tys dog aint rtakirg of With ny steak -
He juhped from the table and started
Il hot pursuit. The dog made the best of
K; Keiths unaccu toned attire was sad
draw back, and he made but little headway.
"Kill him." he yelled to the crowd that
joined in the pursuit; "J'll give fifteen dol
lars for his hide"
Mrs. O'Flahcrty herself appears on the
scene with skillet of hot water.
"Tech him if yer dare - she cried. "I'll
break the bones of every nother's son of
you. Stand FROM fornirs. c. ye', rue the
day."
Keith tooi, step forward, stepped on
his skirt, and pitched headfrst into a wine
cellar, where half dozen men were play
ing cards.
'Ths Davil in pcttieoats :" exclaimed
gamester, and the place enptisd qricke.
than wink.
The police picked up Mr.. Keith, consid.
crably bruised, and carried him home His
had taken their departure, and
somebody not having the fear of the law
upon them lad entered the house and stolen
a hundred dollars worth of property.
Mr. Keath sent the following not to his
wife by TIC evening mail;
"DEAR MARY Come home / give up
beat. A woman does have great deal to
do / confess myself incompetent to man
age. Come home and you shall have a new
silk dress and daughter of Erin to divide
your labors.
flTI KEITH q,