Delaware State journal and statesman., 1867-05-10
WIT AND HuMoR.

CovscIRNTIoUs.-A revolutionary soldier was
running for Congress, and his opponent was a
Young man who had never been to the wara,'
and 1t was the custom of old Revolutionary to
tell the hardships he had endured Said he;
Fellow .citizsns, have fought and bcd for my
country. helped to whip the British and The
Indians | have slept on tho field OF battle with
no other covering than the canopy Of heaven
| have walked over the frozen ground till every
footslep was marked with blood Just about
this time one Of the sovereigus who had become
greatly interested in his tale Of suferings walk
Of up ia front OF the speaker, wiped the tears
from his eyes with tbs extremity of his coat tail,
and interrupted him with Did yeu say you
had fout the British and lniinsr Yea sir
'Dii you say you had slept on the ground, while
serving your country, without any kver ? Il
did, Did you say your feet kyered the ground
you walked over with blOod7 Yes replied
the speaker czulingly. well, them said The
fearful sovereign, as he gave painful emotion,
i guess I'll vote for the tother fellow, for I'll
be- blamed If you hain't done enough for your
country
HIS WADRD.-I II was election day, and Grimes,
having assisted OH the occasion by the deposit Of
bis vote aud the absorption Of about as much
old rye as he could walk nuder, started with two
Of bis neighbOrs, who were in the same state of
elevation, to make their way TO their homes.
They had to cross the Btandywine Greek by
foot.brige constructed Of single log thrown
aurOss aud hewn fat on the upper side. but with
out any handy. to aid in the transit There
would have been no difficulty with a clear head
AMI steady legs in crossngi but with or party
1t was felt to be not devoid of difficulties 'un-
der existing circumstances" However, the creek
must be crossed. Grimes's two friends took the
lead, and with much swinging Of arms aud com
tOtton Of body reached the farther ride 1t
was now Grimess turn to face the music, and,
making bold start, he succeeded in getting
about onethird of the way over, when n loud
splash announced to his friends that he was
overheard. Emerging from the water, it being
about up to his brenst be quietly said, us If his
course was the result OF mature deliberations,
81 guess Ill wade !"
member of Congress once said "What the
-NHNaNolu behe'eAhh hRs JNoA ao1NAhsN SNh9'NS'
as catSmOuut TO a denial Il suppose, replied
bis opponent 'that the honorable gentleman
means tantamount. No, sir, | do not mean
taniamount | am not so ignorant Of our Ian
guage as not to know that cstamouut and anta-
mount are anonymous
negro had bad attack Of rheumatism,
which finally settled in his foot. He bathei it
aud rubbed it, but to no purpose. Finally, teal
ing the baudage of, be stuck it out with saw
age grin, aud shaking his let at IL, exclaimed
Ache away, old feler shan't say nothing
more to yer. Dis chile tapping his breast eau
stand it as we'll as yer can +; so ache away.
During a revival the minister deemed it his
duty to ditfuse himself about the county, aud
induce as many of the unregenetate as possible
10 come to meeting. Among others, he called
Oh an ilitsrate old farmer, aud asked ii be
Knew Of any lost sheep Of the house Of lsrae
shout there 'Wel, no. WIS., the reply, rally
dou't know Of any. Fact, the only sheep d.
suow Of bout here are owned by Squire Frauci
B,gon.'
man was talking, few days ago, about thu
horrors of tight lacng, stating that among Oihe
lhipgs it caused reduess Of the nose. Oae o
The gentlemen in the COMPANY remarked: We'll
never could account for my nose being red Blu
I'm glad to lOarn that 1t Is caused by tight lacng
thought it had its ORIGIN in another kind Q
nghIness.' Scientific man wilted.
Can you do all sorts of casting here y said
Solsmn'lOoking chap at the works the other day
Yes said Frank, preparing to take his order
an sorts well, then, replied the solemn in
qo'fer, u would like to have cas-, shadow
lie was Immediately cast out
Mississippi paper says there is not ontel
Prise enough iu some of the towns of that Stat
roll q wheelbarrow down bill on plank roa'
Il ls said the Indians in the West are bus
collecting their poll tax. They take it out
II hair
The New York Evening Post calls funeral
TAT present conducted in that city, "excursiol
TO Greenwood"
Mrs. Darlington says that when she WI
young ''gals were innocent unsophistcat'
creatures now they are what the French &C
,blales.,'
leVeler, perceving two crows flying side |
sue said LAY, that lie just how il should b
1a'e to see one crow over another"
Why is newly married couple like pair
sugar "ngss Because they are Two spoons joine