Smyrna times., 1867-11-06
WHOLE NO. GG5
Compliments.

a writer says: 1t Is very much to be wished
for the benefit of bashtul men, that society
would come to some general agreement upon
the subject of compliments. At present the
whole social law upon the subject is in state
OF confusion which is d mere pitfal for the un-
wary. There are some occasions when COM
pllment Is little less than an insult; and there
are others when 1t is scarcely less insulting to
omit the compliment; and the distinction in
principle between the two sets of occasions is
not very obvious. To compliment a ladv on
her dress is a rude familiarity. A pancTvric
upon her beauty is only tolerated if she belongs
to the cmaciat2d sisterhood of 8 fast girls
and is apt to be resented even if there are
many listeners to Ovcrhear it but, seat her az
the piano forte, and everything is CHANGED
Compliments ceases to be rude on one side. or
repulsive on the other. The man who would
stand at the piano forte and listening to song,
and omit, at the end Of it, to calculate Beau
tltul would be condemned by every right
thinking mind as unworthy the name of man
and an American. Compliments on such oc
caslons are not simply permissible, but they
arc exacted with rigOr as an item Of the ordi-
nary tribute of civility which man owes to wo
man. You might as well let lady stand for
want of chair while you are sitting down. as
to allow the music to languish for want Of
plentiful supply of eulogy; and the young
lady, who would blush and bride if she was
FEASIBILITY to the most fulSOme flattcry on the
subject of her singing. In fact, if the song
did not close amid a chorus Of admiration,
every one woull feel that there was an awkward
len;c. People would force conversation fit-
fully and uneaslly, as if somebody had uttered
an impropriety; and the performer would be
perfectly justified in founcng away from the
piano forte, and passing the rest Of the even
ing IN the dumps. The idea appears to be
that public performance is Incompatible with
retiring mOdesty. 1t is proclamation that the
young lady is not satisfied to remain unnotccd
in the thPong, but wishes to attract special
shore Of general attention to herself; and it
naturally follows that she desires some assur-
ance that her efforts have not been in vain
The world Is too good natured to refuse compli-
ments to any one who prolessedly caters for
them and fortunately, there are people who
derive positive pleasure from the fact of
| flattering others Their souls are a living well
Of butter, and little of it escapes upon every
passer-by. Probably they began the practice
! from calculation, to secure as many friends as
possible at cheap cost; but the habit soon
grows upon them, and clings to them long
after the hope OF getting on in the world has
! lost Its power. They are very dSagrecable
people to meet in society upon ordinary occa-
slonS, Tor they are always putting somebody
out of cOuntenance; but their real mission in
the world Is TO attend at musical parties They
should be Jammed Ill between the piano forte
and the wall, and left there. SO placed, they
are III the position to perform services which,
in their absence, it would be impossible to sup.
ply; for cOmplimenting does not come by ma
ture, and the master Of the house who should
try 1t Tor the first time, in ignorance of the
difficulties OF the attempt, and withoutprepara-
ton, Is very liable to come to an unSeemly halt
in the very midst OF his pretty speech.