Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1867-08-17
From the Cincinnati Times.
Dead BrOlxc-

DeaU Broke. #...
We found a man seated on curb stone,
near the post office, last night, mutterng to
himself apparently, as there was no one else
TO mutter to. We felt constrained to ask
hlm what he was doing there2
"Haint doin' nothin'," was the reply.
Where do you belong 2"
Don't blong nowhere, and nowhere don't
b'long to me-"
"Who are you ~
'I'm Broke"
swell, suppose you are broke. you've got
a name, haven't you2 What is it ~
81 tell ye I'm Broke-Dead Broke-tbst's
my name, and that's my natur. NV father
was broke before me. If he lad't oeep. I
wouldn't be Broke now-at least, not so bad.
My mother was Peaseey, but she wanted
q husband, and she got Broke-that's my
dad--and Broke got nc. i've been Broke
ever since" .t .
For alfew moments the unhappy d. Broke
buried his face in his hands, and seemed
lost in the most doleful reflections. Then.
raising his head, he exclaimed bitterly
81 wish had been born colt /"
"Why do you wish you had been born
colt 2"
because colt amt broke until he is two
or three years old. l was Broke the moment
| saw the light, and never got over it. 1t
is hard to be broke so young"
"How did your parents come to call you
"DeaG Broke ~
well ye see, as soon as was born some
thing seemed to tell me that | had got to he
Broke all my life, unless / could get my
name changed by act of Legislature, and
that, you know, would be an impossibility ~
How an impossibility ..
that man can get anything through the
Legislature when he is broke 2"
You are right. Go on"
"When the conviction forced itself upon
my infant brain, confused AS it was by recent
experiences, that must be Broke all my
life, felt that there was nothing left to live
for, and lost all consciousness at once. U
| have found only part of it since.)r
He is dead !" cried my mother, wringing
her hands. .5.. ...' ... -
YES" groaned my father, "dead Broke !"
II revived, alas but Dead Broke became
my name, and have been dead broke ever
since. ...
MY name has been fatal to me all through
life. The smallest boy in school always broke
me in playing marbles. | broke more win
dows than any other boy in base ball. l
alway broke down at recitations, and had
my head broke every day by the schoolmas-
ter. When left school l went to clerk it
for broker. One day there was heavy
deficit in the accounts. l was afraid he
might think that l had something to do
with it--so II broke They caught me
though, and put me in Jail, but l broke
out"
"Out of Jail :"
mo, d-n it, broke out uth the small
por !"
"What did you do next ?"
"After the court had disposed of my case,
was allowed to go into the brokerage bu-
siness again"
"IIow was that"
81 broke stone in the penitentiary, dog on
it After | got out / broke everything. l
broke my promise, broke the Sabbath, and
broke the pledge"
"Were you ever married z"
"Yes (sighing deeply, matrimony broke
me up worse than anything else. My wife
was regular ripper. She broke up my fur
niture and the dishes, nearly broke my back
with a tlat-iron, and finally broke my heart"
'By running awayr
mo, indeed, by sticking to me-"
"You have had hard time of it,"
"All owing to my name. But bad as
dislike it, it's mine ! came by it honest
ly. You wouldn't think anybody else
would want to be in my place, would yel
but there are thousands of imposters all
over the country, trying to pass themselves
off for me-"
"In what wayi"
"When they tell their creditors that they
are Dead Broke"
There was another pause, during which
the unhappy possessor of an unfortunate
name could be heard to sob. At length he
broke out
ut will be simple and fitting inscription
for my tombstone, though"
"What2
"DEAn BRoRE.n