Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1867-07-26
HON : YOUNG MAN GOES TO BED.

\ few days since we published an extract
from story in the Land we Love, writ
ten by Miss Fannie Downing. 1t was en-
titled. How Young lady goes to bed, ="
and although not an entire stranger to a
lady, huuIuir. we cannot assure the less en-
liahtcncd Of our Sex of the fidelity or truth
fulp"Ss of Miss Fanny sketch. Doubtless
II afforded great qualification tothe majority
Of m1Ic readers; it did to Us, we know, and
a, Slight return we intend to disclose to
her sex the manner in which young man
goes 20 bed, and shall cite as an example
one Of our own acquaintanceS. For convc-
ucnce we adopt the same style IN which the
other was written, and use the past tense:
D,misSing his fuddled companion Of the
evening AT the street door, Master George
performed the task Of ascending the two
flights Of stairs leading to his own room, and
noiselessly as the weakness of his knees
would admit and without other assistance
than that of his own unsteady fingers gras-
ping along the walls. Upon reaching the
room the coat was removed and flung at the
back o.' the nearest chair. the vest was han
died more carefully, as the pocket contained
his watch. but the pantal00nS came Oft with
a jerk.
After filling and lighting his pipe he pro
purchases were taken from a coat pocket and
part placed upon the raantel aud the bal
anca slowed away in a trunk to be used as
circumstances might require With much
tugring. growing. and swearing the boots
were removed, and the last one being unu
sually troublesome received an impetus from
the foot that sent it flying to the further
most corner. Removing then a pair OF
socks that should have been in the washer
woman tub an earnest and prOtracted in
specton Of the feet eusued, the young man
indu,gingin speculati0ns as to whether or not
those blasted corns would prevent his ap
pearing in them new boots at that little
gathering to morrow night. The delicate
paper collar lsizC Immateral) was hastily
torn off. and being soiled on both sides from
turning, was disdainfully tossed toward the
fire place and the necktio flung on the foot
Of the bed
The usual slow progress OF removing the
shirt was ignored on this occasion; several
inpatient Jerks and then with a sudden
stretch upward with the bony arms, off
went buttons. rip went muslin, and the
angular shoulders of the wearcr rose IN
unrestricted freedom. The snowy
night shirt was then drawn over the head and
its delicate cotton tape binding and grace
fll folds ef brown canton flannel left to ac-
cumm0iatc themselves to circumstances.
~ puff Of fragrant breath redolent OF
bad gin and lcmon from pair Of tobacco
stained lips, aud out went the hight, ana
down went the pipe on the table Not y, being s
so fortunate as to have any Mandy Tor
room mate. and the household domestics be-
in aged and discreet, he did not leave the
doos uubotcd, but with a growl at the bache-
Ioric solitude Of his couch, jerked down the
''kiyer," plunged within, pressed his limo.
cent head on the pillow, and after several
moments Of twitching, turning and grum
bling. settled on his back and a fierce attack
Of snoring ensUed, which closes the scene
Imagine such domestic existence as this
linked to the ETHEREAL, dainty and refined
Miss Preston" Enjoy your little maidcnly
privileges aud arrangements while you can,
Mis- Charlie, for we fear that variety
of circumstances in welded life would ruth
lessy interfere with the systematic course
ascribod to you in preparing Tor night. 5
rest L,,ijaaap2l5 HeraH