The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1867-04-25

afflicted with natural conceit that
they we're by no mean circumscribcd
in foundation for such prospect. In
vain did the board ondeavor to per.
suade them that they woro hall dead
already. They fought hard for a few
more years, swore that their fathers
had been almost immortal, and that
theis whole families mad been as ten
acious Of life as cells themselves.
Alas they were irst ordered into an
adjoining room, which soon learned
was tho condemned cell, and then
dclicately informed that the estab.
lishmcnt could have nothing to say to
them. Some, indeed, had tie luck to
be reprioved little longer, but even
these did not affect very nattoring
or advantageous bargain. One old
gentleman had a largo premium TO
pay for tottcr in his knees another
ior un extraordinary circumference in
the girth aud q dowage Of high re-.
spectability, who was afflicted with
certain undue proportions OF width,
was fined most extraordinary. M
At length it came to my turn to
exhibit, but as my friend was hand
ing me forward, my progress was ar
rested by the entrance of young
lady with an elderly maid servant.
She was dressed in slight mo ming,
was the most sparkling beauty | had
ever seen, and appeared 70 produce an
instaG taneous effect, even upon the
stony iieurted directors themselves.
The chairman politely requested her
to take a seat at the table, and imme.
diately entered into her business,
which seemed little more than to
show herself and bo entitled to
twenty thousand pounds, for which
her idte husJand had insured his life
Houpds." thought /, twenty
thousand pounds aud widow"
"Ah, madam" observed the chair
man, "your husband made TOO good
bargain with us. / told him he
was an elderly, sickly sort of a man,
and not likely to last; but never
thought he would have died SO soon
after his marriage" ros 81
An elderly, siekly sort of man /,
was on fire TO be examined before her,
and let her hear favorable report Of
me. AS luck would have it sho had
son,o further transactions. which re-
quired certain papers to be sent for
and in the pause | stepped boldly for.
ward. ..siI4,a 'snaf 10 !
''Gentlemen," said my lawyer, with
a smilewhich whitened the tip of his
nose, and very nearly sent it through
the external tegUments,. allow me to
introduce Mr.. ---------, q particular
friend Of mine, who is desirous of in
suring his life. You perceive he is
not ono of your dying sort"
The directors turned their eyes
towards me with evident satisfaction,
aud | had the vanity to believe the
widow did so too, afHb
"You have a good broad chest,
said one. 81 dare say your lungs arc
never affected" ..bn s.as
"Good shoulders, too, said auolh-
er. "NOt likely to be Knocked down
in row."
"Strong in the legs, and not debiI-
itated by dissipation cried q third.
III think this gentlemap will suit us
| could perceive that, during these
compliments and q few others, the
widow was very much inclined to tit
ter, which l considered as much as
Irritation commenced and when |
was ordered into another room to he
further examined by the surgeon in
attendance, l longed to tell her to
stop until | came back. The profes-
sional gentleman did his utmost TO
find aaw in me, but was obliged to
write a certificate with wbichsI re.en.
tered, aud had the sa;ifaction ofhear-
ing the chairman read that was war
rented sound. The Board congratu-
lated me somewhat jocosely, and Il o
widow laughed outright. Our affairs
were settled exactly as the same mo-
'ment, and followed her closely
down stairs. p .f.h4
"What mad trick are you at now p
enquired tho cormorant y,
81 am going to hand that lady to
her carriage" | responded and ]
.keptmy word. She bowed to me
with much courtesy, laughed again,
and desired her servant to drive.
home. -ls,.4 sa
"Where is that, John ?" said l.,
"Npmber,--sir, in---stTeet, said
john, aud away they went.
We walked stesdily along, the bird
Of prey reckoning up the advantages
Of his bargain with me, and l ia a
mood Of equally interesting rehec-
tiou.
"What are you pondering about,
young gentleman ?" he at last COM
menced.
at am pondering whether or no
you have not overreached yourself in
this transaction"
."How so 2"
"Why / begin TO think | shall be
obliged to give up M harum-scarum
way of life drink moderately, leave
off foxrhunting, and sell my spirited
horses, which, you know, viii make
a material difference in the probable
date Of my demise"
"But where is the necessity for
your doing all thisr r
"My wife will most probably make
it a stipulation. :, 46.n hl.ss N
"Your wife n l
eyes That pretty disconsolale
widow we have just parted from.
You may laugh Lut if you shooseto
bet the insurance which you have
bought Of me, against the purchase
money, Twill take you that she
I-akes mo sedate married man in
less than two months. pa fafti
f'Dene r. said the cormorant, his
features again straining their buck
skins at the idea Of having made q
double pr Jft OF me. eLet us 20 10