Smyrna times., 1867-07-17
WHOLE NO. G52

MARK TWAIN tells the following story by a fcl-
low passenger, who, being bantercd about his tim.
idity, said he had never been scared since he had
loaded an old Queen AnBe's musket for his father
unce, whereupon lac related the following:
You sec the old man was trying to learn me 20
shoot blackbirds and beasts that up the young
corn, and such things, that | could be of some
use about the farm, because | warn't big enough to
do much My gun little single barrel shot
gun, and the old man carried old Queen Annc's
musket that weighed ton, and made a report like
athuaderc clap, and kicked like a mule. The old
man wanted me to shoot the old muskct sometimes,
bat | was afraid. One day, T. ough, / got her
down, aud SO took her to the hired man and asked
him how to load her. because the old man was out IN
the fields. Hiram said:
" Do you them marks on the stock-an Y
and on the Queens crown? Wen. that means
ten balls and five slugs-that's her load"
"But how much powder"
"Oh," he says, " 1t don't matter put in three or
four handsiul."
=" So loaded her up that way. and it an awful
CHARGE had sense enough to see IhaI-and started
out. leveled her on good many blackbrds, but
every time went to pull The trigger | shut my cves
and ~lnked. was afraid OF he kick Towards sun
down fetched up at The house, and there Was The
old man, resting on the porch.
Been out huLtng have ye e
q Yes, sir" says |.
Didn't Kill anything, sir-didn't shoot her off
was afraid she'd kick " Il knew blamed we'll sho
wOuld)
Glmmus that gun I" the old man said, mad as .in.
And he took aim a sapllng the other side of
the road, and began TO drop back out Of danger.
But the next minute | heard earthqus ke, and
saw the QueOn Anne whlrlIng end over end IN the
air, and the old man spinning around on one heel,
with one leg up and both hands his Jaw, and
The bark flying from that old mans shoulders, aud
his jaw turned black and blue, and had 10 lay up
for three days Cholera nor nsIhing else can ever
scare me the way | scared that time.
-----~>~~~-------
"a FAcr."-A little incident transpired in a
family circle, few evenings since, that too good
to keep, and shall be confded to readers. The
kitchen of the excellent family Of whom speak, 10
presided over by good looking domestic whom
Will Call Mary Ann, she rejoicing in the attentive
| devotion of young male servant employed by
neighborng family, named John. Now, such were
Johns relations with the fair Mary Ann-they
were engaged" Just like nybudy's foks--that he
had u habit of entering his inamoratas domain
without fOrmaliIy of knocking. And be 1t kno II
that the lord of the mansion had been absent several
| days. and was expected home by the evening train.
On thai evening the mistress Of the house her
boudoir painting IN expectation of the coming of h
husband. Shortly. she heard thought she did,
his familiar foOstep at the side door (his u uul
! place Of eniry0 and dashng down stairs in the
darkness. prccipltated herself into his arns. A
loving lingering Kiss imprinted upon the check
| OF her representative of the sterner sex lie an
swercd not, but pressed her closer to his hravIng
bnsom. How long this would have gone is not
easy for us TO say, had not adj"inlng door been
thrown open by the pretty Mary Ann with a light
in her hand, when what sight was revealed to tbs
three! Mary saw her own lusty lover, Jrhn the
mistress saw not her expected spouse, but Mlrv
AIMS young man; and John-well, lie wac
dumb-founded |suppOsing that he hugsmg
Mary Ann all the tmc) that he could not see any
thing. In the midst of the muddle the hush, nd
entered, and The tdbIeGu riuGnte conIl,tc! II,
soon comprehended the affair, however, aud nae
too much good TO scod his wife for her care
lcs'ncss or to TO keep good Joke TO himself bu
he never i"agincd it would get into the paper.