American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1867-08-28
NUMBER. SO
WIT AND wIsDoM.
ag'rIe laiies'-wgst Pointers.

~ frSSPtS ePu lOlOW. q
ear What de- we, often drop, yet never
stoop to pick upG A hint tts3'itbC 334 40
m7 lie who seryeth none but himself isa
j v3to . fool t2r'A IEg7IILE
ssS- W hen may a steamer be said 10 bef,
in love? When lis Fender to a Man-ofwa
6ss- hen may she be rom antically in
3 love2 When she is attached to a buay.
ahsss- When is she iawBitioasly in love ?, a
When she makes up to pier tpeer.
'7 BkS- The editor who said that his mouth
never uttered u lie probably spoke through
his nose.
Ges> What is the difference between an
editor and wife2 One sets articles torights
and the other writes articleste set! Oil QIV
ig Ras"Why is a soldier who has. not risen
from the ranks for three years, like an ils
licit manufactory ofspirit7 Because he's
private still
Bog Harry you ought not to throw away
nice bread like that, you may want ii some
day. :" Well mother, would stand any
better chance of getting it then if. / should
eat it now?i i5tOt ~ l1bEI9
ES-" Young man, do you believe in
future state p Z" In course / duz land
what's more, | intsnd to enter it as soon D
Betsy gets her things ready"
soyAn Irish lad having been asked if
tho man who had last aogged him was his
father, replied Yes, sure he is the parent
~ me; but he trates me MS if was his RI,
son by another father aud mother, bad luck
to him." '.n 1saj
In former times wife regarded her
husband as companion now be is her
banker. a.t sI EHffF-f 5Tt 4
EsS-The first pair of buckskin brooches
seen by the South Sea Islanders were so lit,
tie understood that the natives stuffed them
with seaweed, ,an1 had them ''biled" for din,
ner.
HsF Divorces are said to be so common
IN Detroit that citzon of that city held
reception party tho other night, to receive
congratulations upon having visited Chi
cago and returned without being divorced
f-om his wife.
EGy~At an examination of some girls for
the rite of confirmation, in answer to the
question, v hat is the outward and visi>
BILE sign and form in baptism ?'' one Of them
replied, "The baby, Sir. " $3.50
eS-At a wedding recently when the of
ficiating priest put to the lady the question,
Wilt thou have this man to lie thy welded
husband ?" she dropped the prettiest cour-
tesy and with modesty that lent her beau
ty additional grace replied, IL you
plense'
Res"A man andhi wf- on Sunday ev-
ening gos into critical dispute. The wife
said she thought David king David)
hadna taen much pains when he netred tho
Psalms :" on which her usband flew into
passion at her ignorance, and reminded
her that it was George Buchanan who ME-
tired the Psalms.
gsy-rhe Irish Chief Secretary, being the
owner OF fine ostrich, which some weeks
ago was safely delivered of an egg, re-
ceived the following telegram from his stew.
ard My Lord, as your lordship is out of
the country, have procured the biggest
goose l could find to sit ON the ostrich's
egg" vT Ga G4
gG-On one occasion, Mr.. James T.
Brady, of New York, was defending
hard case, when the Judge made several
rulings very much against the defendant
Wherenpon Mr.. Brady blandly inquired;
',May, it please your honor, who's en-
gagged on the other side of this case be-
side the Judge !" saTa -s.
aGS-In a school, recently, teacher took
occasion TO relate an anecdote Of the little
girl who tried to f overcome evil will good"
by giving d New Testament to boy who
bad ill-treated her. The story was appre-
diated, for, a few minutes afterwards one
boy struck another, and, on being asked the
reason, said he was trying to get Testa-
ment." This was practical bearing alto.
gether unexpected. beH oNA hica q osbl
The THREE OF COMPARISON. excel>
lent turn was made at dinner-table by
Judge Hoar, of Massachusetts,, to good to
be lost. A gentlemen remarked that.
who used 10 be given co sharp practice, was
getting moro circumspect. Yes replied
Ioar, " he has the superlative ofiife he be-
gan by seeking get on, then he sought to
get honor, and now he is trying to get hons
est"
ES-When cock-fghting was in fashion.
a gentlemen having match in the country
gave two cocks in charge to his Irish SER
want tD carry down town. Pat put them
together in n bag, on opening which on his
arrivla he was not little surprised to fpd
one OF them dead and the other terribly
wounded. Being scolded by his master for
putting them into the same bag. he said he
did not think there was any danger of their
hurting each other, as they were going to
fight on the same side.
Bar There must have been some curious
specimens OF Scottish humor brought out ut
the examinations or catechisings by minis
ters of the flock before the administration
of the Communion. Thus with reference
To human nature before the fall man was
asked
"What kind Of man, was Adam ?'i
"Oh,jus like ither folk Fa
The. minister insisted on having more
special description Of the first man, aud
pressed for more explanation. 4r
81 Weel 'ssaid the catechuman, he was
just like Joe Simpson, the horse couper."
" How so asked the minister.
6 Weei, naebody got anything BY him,
and money lost 7"
sara little boy on the train for Kir,-
ston, not long since, said:
+" Mister, the locomotive is lover Of
the weed, isn't it ?" EA
Can't say why do you ask, my lie
tie man p $500.
"Because it smokes and chews" =
{ Very we'll. l soc it smokes, but hog
about the chewing ?" oh 99%
Didn't you notice it in the depot
i,,uf he fnra xua loft . DtI,,Jk - toLo.., -.