The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1867-04-03
The sJnc1ad Horseman.
BY MAJOR JONES.

SN'-~O-
Absalom Nippers was widower, and
one of the most particular men, perhaps
that ever lived, though sonac people said
that when his wife was alive he used To
dress as a common field hand, and didn't
use to take any pains with himself at all
Everybody knows how he sprl1ced up
about six weeks after Mrs Nippers died,
and how he went to church regular every
Sunday; but they didn't have no conf
dcnce in his religion, and used to say he
only went to church to show his new suit
of mourning, and to ogle the gals.
With such character among the vim
men, it aiDt to be supposed that he stood
any chance Of getting another Mrs. Nip
pers near home and whether he was as
bad to his first wife as they said he was,
or not, one thing was certain, he had to
look abroad for some one to fill her place
Mr.. Nippers was very lucky in finding
a gal Just to his mind, who lived. about
ten miles from his plantation. Nancy
Parker was rich, and though she wasn't
very young nor very handsome, she ! be,
longcd to Mr.. Nippers' church, and filled
his eye exactly; SO he sot iii courtin her
with all his mi gilt. Ten miles was Il good
long ride, and as he was an economical
man, he used to ride over to Mrs. Parker's
plantation every Sunday morning to go
to church with the family. take dinner
with them, and ride back in the cool of
the evening In that way he managed
to kill Two birds with one stone; that is,
to advance the prospect of happiness on
this earth and in the world to come at the
same time, without losing any of his
weekday time.
A ride over dusty road is apt to soil
a gentlenan's dry goods, and make him
and his horse very tired. However, Mr.
Nippers didn't mind the fatigue as much
as his horse; but in II matter such as he
had in hand, it was very important That
he should make as good an impression as
possible, so he adopted a plan by which
he was able to present himself before the
object of his affections, in order, with his
Sunday coat as clean, and his blooming
rufles as fresh and neat as if they had
lust come out Of 4 band-boX. This was
u happy cxpedient, and nobody but n
widower lover would think of it, lie
used to start from home with his new
coat and shirt tied up in a pocket hand
kerchief and after riding within quarter
of a mile of Mrs Parlser's plantation, he
would turn off into thicket of clilnl.a-
pin bushes, and there make his rural toll
ct. One bright Sunday morning Mr..
Nippers had arrived at his dressin' ground.
1t was an important occasion. Every
thing was promisin', and he had made up
his mind to pop the question that very
day. There was no doubt in his mind
that he would return homo an engaged
man; and he was reckoning over to HIM
self the value of Miss Nancy's plantation
and niggcrs, while he was settli' on his
horse maxim his accustomed change Of
dress He had dropped the rcins on his
horses neck, what WAS browsn' about,
making up his last nights scdnty feed
from the bushes in his reach, and kickin'
and stampin' at such flies as was tccdn'
on him in return.
aIll fix the busncs this timc," scs Mr..
Nippers to himself. "I'll bring things to
{. pint this timo," ses he, and he united his
handkerchief with his clean clothes, and
he spread them on his sadde-bow
"Wo, Ball." ses he-"I've just got 10
say the word, and-wo!" ses he to his
horse, what was kiclSin' and rearin' about.
"NNo you old fool !-and the business is
settled iist like fallin' off ~ log"
He was drawin' his shirt over his head,
WHOM Ball gave sudden spring what like
Rampte m5pate bin bbpfe4e leS4 tit out Of the
sleeves, Ball was whcelin' and kickin'
like wrath at something that seemed to
,SU trouble him behind. Down went the
clean clothes, shirt and all. ON the ground.
"Wo Blast yer pctur-wo nowP scs
Mr. Nippers, grabbin at the s relns. rs y But But
before, he could get hold of EN-, Ball was
off off like streak of lightnln', with a
wi whole swarm OF yellow Jackets 'ound his
Mr.. Nippcrs grabbed hold LOFT. oftho I'm mano nc
and tried TO stop his horse, bust was no