The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1867-03-29
THE cAUDLE CURTAIN LEcTTRES
''Brother'' Candle has been 10 a Ma.
sonic Charitable Dinner--.hrs. eau.
de has Hidden the ssBrother'Au
CheeEx.boOH

''BrOthero Candle has been TO a Ma
sonic Charitable Dinner---aIrs. eau.
de has Hidden the ssBrOther'A"
Cheek.boOk. ~
"All say is this: / only wish I'd
been born a man. What do you say9
You tUiSh I hads Mr.. Caudle, I'n not
lie quiet in my own bed to be insulted.
Oh, yes, you did mean TO insult me.
L know what you mean. You mean, If
had been man you'd never tave
married me. That's pretty sentiment
1 think; and the wife i've been to youi
And now suppose you'll be going to
public dinners every dRyi It's no use
your telling me you've only been to
one before; that's nothing to do with it
nothing all. OF course you'll be out
every night now. 1 knew what it
would come to when you were made a
mason; when you were once made a
brother as you call yourself, knew
where the husband and father would
be;-I'm sure, Caudle, and though I'm
your own wife, I'm grieved to say it,
1'm sure you havn't so much heart,
that you have any to spare for people
out of doors. Indeed, i should like to see
the man who has! No, no, Caudle; Pm
by no means selfish woman-quite
the contrary; love my fellow creatures
as a wife and mother of a family, who
has only to look to her own husband
and children, ought to love 'em.
"a brother indeedI What would
You say, if was to go and be made a
sister 2 Why know, very well-the
house wouldn't hold you.
Where s yOItr I0atchS How should 1
know where your watch isl You
ought to know. But to be sure, people
who goto public dinners never know
where anything is when they come
home. You've lost it, no doubt; and
It will serve you quite right If Won have.
N FrfaV1 nd -, ,s,.1-
hkely-I wonder if any of your broth
ers' will give you another Catch 'em
doing it.
You must find your Watchf Ind you'u
get up for IL? Nonsense-don't be fool
ish-lie still. Your watch is on the
thing for you, you've somebody to take
care of it2 aa.-. e
what do you say2 Pm a dear erea-
titret Very dear, indeed, you think
me, dare say. But the fact is, you
don't know what you're talking about
you-but can't help it.
"Where'S your 1CGtchS Haven't I
told you-on the mantel-piece2 AU
right, t1ldeedS Pretty conduct you men
call all right. There now, hold your
tongue, Mr.. Caudle, and go to sleep; I'm
night. You'll be able to listen to rea-
son tomorrow morning; now, it's
thrown away upon you. .
where's your check 6oOkS Never
mind. your check-book. 1 took care of
that. What business had I to take n out
OF your pockets Every business. No,
no. If you choose to go to public din
ners, why-as I'm only your wife-I
can't help it. But know what fools
men are made of there; and if 1 know
1t, you never take your check-book
again with you. What! Didn't see
your name down last year for ten
pounds? JOB Caudle, Esq.,, SlO.' 1t
looked very well in the newspapers, of
course: and You thought youTselfsome-
body, when they knocked the tavern
tables; but only wish I'd been there;
yes, only wish I'd been in the gal
Iery. If wouldn't have told piece of |
my mlndr Pm not alive. Ten pounds, /
indeed and the world thinks you n |
very fine person for it. only wish |
could bring the world here, and show |
'em what's wanted at home. think !
the world would alter their mind then;
yes-a little.
"What do you say? A tUiGe has no
right to pick her AILSband's pockets A |
pretty husband you are, to talk in that |
way. Never mind: you can't prose-
cute her for it-or I've no doubt you
would; none at all. Some men would |
do anything. What? You've a 6it Of /
a heGdGches hope you have-and a |
good bit, too. You've been to the right |
place for it. No-I won't hold NV
tongue. It's all very well for you men |
to go to taverns-and falkland toast
and hurra--and-I wonder you're not |
all ashamed OF yourselves to drink the I
Queens health with all the honors, L /
believe, you call it-yes, pretty honors
you pay to the sex-I say, / wonder
you're not ashamed to drink that bless
ed creatures health. when you've only
to think how you use your own wives .
at home. But the hypocrites that the
men are-ohI
Where's your tDGtchs Haven't 1
told you? Its under your pillow
there, you needn't be feeling for it, 1 /
tell you it's under your pillow. Is il all
right? Yes; a great deal you know
Of what's right just now. Hal was
there ever any Door mortal used as
am: Tn a dear creGture9 PahI Mr..
Caudlel I've only to say, Pm tired of
your conduct-quite tired, and don't
care how soon there's an end to it.
Why did take your check books
l We told you-to save you from ruin,
MT. Caudle. You're not going TO be ruin
edS Hal you don't know anything
when you're out. 1 know what they /
do at these public dinners-charities,
they call 'em; pretty charities! True 4
Charity, 1 believe, always dimes at
home. 1 know what they do; the
whole system is a trick. No; I'm not |
a stony-heGrted creature; aud you |
ought to be ashamed to say SO to your |
wife and the mother of your children.
but, you'll not make me cry tonight, |
can tell you'll was going to say
that-oh! you're such an aggravating |
man, don't know what I was going |
to say!
"Thank Heapen1 What forY don't
see that there's anything to thank Hea- |
ven about! was going to say, know |
the trick ofPuhlic dinners. They get |
a lord, or duke, if they can catch him |
anything To make people say they've |
dined with nobility, that's it-yes,
they get one of these people, with a |
star perhaps in his coat, to take the
chair-and to talk all sorts OF sugar |
plum things about charity-and to 1
make foolish men, with wine in 'em, /
feel that they've no end of money;
and then-shutting their eyes to their |
wives and families at home-alI the |
while that their own faces are red and /
flushed ike poppies, and they think 4
to- morrow Will never come-then they |
get 'en to put their hand to paper. |
Then they make 'em pull out their |
checks. But L took your book. Mr.. !
couldn't do it second |
time. What are you laughing at? |
NothiTigs It's no matter; I shall see it /
in the paper tomorrow; for il you I
gave anything you were too proud to |
hide 1t. know your charity.
'AWhere'S your S0dtcIlS Haven't told /
pocket-over your head-of course.
Can't you hear it tick? No; you can
hear nothing tonight.
And now, Mr.. CaudIe, should like
to Bnow whose hat ii is you've brought
home? You went out with a beaver
worth three-and-twenty shillings-the
second time you've worn it-and you
hT1nu hmm haR m n hi