The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1867-10-18
HUMOROUS.
A Cool Husband.

was reported to have been killed. but
| was only, prisoner. He returned
| home to find that his wife had turned
over a new leaf in the marriage SER
| vice, and that another man occupied
his seat in the chimney corner Did
he go to, work slaughtering the false
wife and new husband? Not much.
He walked in and said
well, old gal, how is things?"
Putty good. Bill, y said the double
married woman, not taken aback
greatly.
- Which do you prefer, the old or
the new love?"ss srgei.Hes
She hesitated. for an instant, and
then said: ....,.
Il don't like to hurt your feelings,
| but-but-" 2 '"e 'f7 at'
'Oh. spit it right out. Don't mind
my feelings nor the other chap'sl I
little rough on my vanity. Count on
rusty if you should go back on ma, .
I'm glad you're SO thoughtful,
Bill; and / acknowledge that do
like my present. husband best; but if
anything should happen /, to him, L
know nobody else | would SO soon
join fortunes withia again as you"
That's the way to talk. I'll now
bid you goodbye. hoping that no acct
dent will happen to the other fellow,
| and that he will live long to, enjoy
your delightful society. Good day
And the careless husband travelled
off. with his knapsack on his back,
whistling, in CHEEKY, clear tones, The
girl left behind me-,
You've no wife, believe said
Mr. Blank to his neighbor..,
No, sir" was the reply, g 1 never
was married." ~ is'as7ss' IL
E" Ah,'' said Mr.. Blank, syou are a
a short time after, Mr.. Blank, in
addressing married man, said: &
-" You have a wife, STRIP i-ii' -*iHft'
i Yes. SRA wife and three chill.
n1S1 Indeed said Mr.. BLANK rk:... you
are happy man. -, -
why, Mr.. Blank" said one of the
company, +" your remarks TO the mar
ried and unmarried seem to conflict
somewhat"
Not at ailLnot at all, sir. There
is a difference in my Statements.
Please be more observing, sir.,DI said
the man who had no wife was happy
dog. and say to the man who has a
wife. he is a happy man Nothing
conflicting, sir-.nothiug at all. 1
know what l say, SIR asrl srs
BEAUTIFUL CoMPAaIsoN.--A down
East editor, in describing a country
dance says: THE gorgeous strings of
glass beads glistened on the heaving
bosoms of the village bellies, like poll
ished rubies resting on the delicate
surface of warm apple dumplings.''
A CERTAIN negro was so convinced
of the lowliness of his, race that he
was Indifferent as to his future state,
believing that 'dey'll' make niggers
work chen in heben" A clergyman
tried to argue him out of this opinion
by representing that this was not the
case. as there was no work in heaven,
for him or any one else to do. His
answer was, You gwo way, mas'r, [
know better. If dere's no work for
cullud pussuns up dar deyll make
UNI shub de clouds along" tar i
A PREcocIoUs YoUTH.-A friend
tells US of lady who was recently
reading to her child-a boy of seven
years-a story of little fellow, whose
| father was taken i'll and died, where
upon the youngster set himself dill
gently to work. to assist in supporting
himself and his mother.
I When she had finished the story
the following dialogue ensued:
Mother-Now, my little man, if
your papa was to die, wouldn't you
work to help your mother? go
Boy-lNot relishing the idea of
work why, ma, what for? Amt
we got good house, to live in?
Mother-Oh, yes, my child; but we
can't eat the house, you know. e.
Boy-Well, amt we got -four and
sugar and other things in the store
room?
Mother-Gertainly we have, my
dear boy, but they wont last long
and what then? YES srCsn= -
Boy-WeH. ma. amt there enough
to last until you get another hus-
! A roar of laughter ended the coll
loquy. 1ard ws ga iaaoIiu =
+ sA;YoUNa man in New Haven, on
Monday, rushed into a drug store, !,
and, in great alarm, asked the clerk
if benzine was poisonous. No" said
the clerk; "Why?' Because" said
the fellow, father went to the closet
to take down the gin bottle, and by
mistake took several swallows before
he knew it." He is all right" re-
piled the clerk. 'The only difference
between benzine and modern gin is in
the SMELL" tsos!y a- eatlio'Y e