North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-08-07
IiiI,ns. closes out his Ltghs

nHAnnos
1nres.
lIf yu want tcw buy repentance at the
<highest market price, invest 1t In tito
'o ! h,,, richer ID i receiver ~ stolen
goods than the keeper oy luther folks Sc
EyeryboayFg on gEt : tewl be obliged Dew
rite MI own epitaf, and then, it, Nc fflle(
the bill while living, hay hiz tombstun en-
dorsed with it after he waz ded.
New York liz red hot awl the time fol
the latest news. If Ball & Black should
suspend, not, bizness, but a pigs tail. in
one ovtheir shpw-windows,r at least afty
thousand would gaze at it the first da, and
long for one ov the BRUSSELS tew carry
hum and show to their wives.
Rats originally cum from Norway.
suppoze this accounts for their pashun to
knaw away so much.
fnete5 khekss vcfsT handsahn wofdan
engaged in the ''woman's rights bizness
they kan play the kards tina already
hold to'bctter tidaantaseg oao asa Te,s
True happiness seems tew consist in be-
inc filed with wants and pashups, and
then Keeping the wants and pashuns' on a
milk diet. Instinct tells the, animals, how
few supply their wants, and that is awl
reazon kan do for humans. When day
breaks the assets are always light. . =
After awl the philosophy | kan kram up
| sumtimes git Disguised with life it
seems teW be but an. uncertain vicktory Oy-
cr base pashuns that even mule don't Of
ten hav. 1T 10 rasEr na11
Menvar perfektly delighted in being
cheated. until tina discover the way the
thing IL did, and then tina are rdisgustisl
not with the fraud, but the loss of its nov
It's q kurious fact that With awofld
full ov pleasure, our principal enjoyment
liz in hope. ~ f$s.t -.
There is only one modification THAT l
ken remember now in being rich, and that
IL VI are flnttered before yure face and
abnzsd behind it. Y =
hav alwus considered abstract dogs a
. good thing, but never could fully appre-
ciate fh6utter neccssityov keeping awood-
cock dog in thinly settled City exclusive
" on porter house steak when there wan
a woodcock within $50 miles ov me, but
there IL plenty, .ov folks who kan, which
shows :hnw little .kno. T 5ittSls Bll58
| am loudly in favor ov new things, but
am opposed tew emmy man, even one ev
our kullerd associates who think hes has dis
kovered a new truth jist bekauze he haz,
for the first time in his life, stumbled into
an;old one szE-9-sS1u bnr an.liiaysU
/ should be ashamed ov myself tew say
harsh word against the nobel animal,
the boss but | havn't been able tew see
that it il best tew let the breed ov man
kind run out jist for the sake of getting a
boss that kan trot in PIG.
havs aotised that those persons who
hav the keenest sense oy misery hav also
the brightest vishuns ov JOY, but there IL
sum folks whom .zeyen imolasses handy
won't make happy, nor even muskeeters
worry. - : !. -.
don't think thare il emmy more eXkuse
for keeping d Shan shigh rodster thar thare
IL for keeping boss that yu hav tew back
up to sekund story winder to put the
the trooper on.
1t liz astonishing how very small tina
wear their pantaloons in Broadway butt
notiss the pantaloons are plenty big enuf
for the legs. e-eSs &
When see an old mizer in the midst oy
hiz wealth, konsider him jist about az
happy az fiji who haz fell into quart