Ashtabula weekly telegraph. [volume] (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1853-1873, 1867-01-26
~ For the Telegraph
Hotel Clerks,

Mr. EDIToR 1T seems to be the custom OF
modern croakers to disparage everything mod
ern, tndto mourn over greatness departed-to
solemnly attest that the present generation on
ly comes up to mediocricy, with o tendency to
decline. To those who are tinctured with this
heresy would earnestly say, go to some city
Hotel and take dose of fashionable Hotel
Clerk Go for instance to the Southern Hotel,
ST. Louis, and there you will find the head
clerk one of the magnificent of his class. If
your presumption is such as to wish to meet
this great man on an equality, (you must be
properly dressed) enquire if Major General,
Cabinet Minister or Senator is stopping there,
and he will answer with one of his serenest
smiles promptly This enquiry will scarcely
put him upon his metal. you viii be compell-
ed to ask questions of less dignihed personages
to find out what stuff he is made of. Now if
YOU want to be gently rebuked ant slightly hu-
inflated, ask for some person OF less dIstlnction'
But if your pride is such as Christians in all
ages have mourned over as the worst and most
besetting sin, and you wish to be humbled to
the last verge of inferiority, ask simply for Mr..
Jones; that question will gauge you complete
ly. After sufficient deliberstion and delay, the
great man will raise his eyes, and you will
think yourself worm, and when he speaks you
will dream yourself the most abject speck of
earth found after making q few calls on
New Years day, needed taking down peg
or two Ny remedy was at hand. simply
made an enquiry of the head clerk. / was
properly humiliafed. / Recommended to my
friend, (whose organ of veneration is smalD to
take dose also. He quickly acquiessed, and
walked up to the Office counter and enquired
if the eastern train had arrived. The great man
gazed at him moment with look OF mingled
pity and scern-at his mental imbecility, and
waved him to card on the wall without utter
ing word. My friend who should have been
properly humbled by this masterstroke Of lofty
dignity, was not, am sorry to say, touched as
he should have been, but like the miserable
sinner who sits under the droppings of the
sanctuary, he was only hardened in his irrever-
ence for the great-he begged the great mans
pardon, and said that he had been informed
that Col Robert Campbell was the owner ofthe
hotel-that he was quite sure that must be .
mistake-that the property evidently belonged
TO him, (the head clerk.)
For the great man to find words to express
bis feelings was quite out of the question /; rails
his ewes to the ceiling he soon lost himself in
contemplating things far above groveling pas
sions of earth believe sign OF true great
ness is to look into the future and anticipate
coming events This preceptive VISION the
head clerk had in a most marvellous degree. lie
had anticipated the fashion of short coats for al
least two or three years, if the style grows
shorter and shorter for that length of time. it
will scarcely oeertake him. This garment OF
his came down two inches below the waist
This out fashioning the fashion, my friend with
ont yenerstion,) remarked, was simply ridicu-
lous to person without reflection, but to me-
he said, it is emnently suggestive: Ais coat SIM
DIV shows what he really is. little ass
In conclusion will only say that the neao
clerk whom have but feebly described, Is on
" one of numerous class. Go to any iasnion-
able hotel in the United States and you VIII
find them. and will Recommend to- eroakers
who believe in the degeneracy OF the preseM
race of men, and who should have a little conceit
taken out of them, go to some fashionable hotel
and take dose of Hotel Clerk. g.