The tri-weekly standard. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1866-1868, 1867-08-20
From the Toledo Blade.
NASRX.

Posi- OFFS CoNFEDEATE X ROADS,
(Which is in the Staff Nv KentuckyO (
Aug. 1, 1867.
Last mite there wuz a conyocashen nv the
saints connected with the Institoot (uy wien
Dceliin Pogram is the cheetest and loVellest
amoung ten thousanD to take sweet counsei
together onto seVral matters connected WITH
the institooshen of leanin, the success Nv
witch is so dear to all Nv US. The conversa-
shen happenin to turn upon the conferrln Nv
honorary degrees, Dcekin Pogram sed that
he had a suggestion to make. He he'd no
fist that all the leadin colleges NV the coun-
try had a practis NV conferrin titles, such eZ
"D. M" "A. b." LII. d." and SIGH onto
distinguished men, tho he wuz free to say
that he didn't know wat in thunder they
meant, or wat they wuz good for. But he
he'd notist noosepaper that no college he'd
yet conferred any SIGH sin onto Andrew
johnson. Considerin it burnin shame. he
wood sciest that ez q rebook to the hide
bound instooshens Nv the North this college
do towunst confer all Nv EN-, and ez many
more ez Their is, onto Mr.. johnson. Bascom
remarkt that he didn't know whether the
President wood feel complimentid "loo
know, Deekin,' sed he, that this anti
much Nv collcge!"
"Troo," sed the bIessid old peace Nv in
nosence, too true, but then, to balance that,
johnson amt much Nv a President, 700
know"
And so the honrary degrees was conferred,
and notice thereof wuz sent him immejitly.
From this the question Nv the next nOmi-
nee nv the party for President came up
Bascom, who isn't far-seein man, asserted
that it wood be necessary to nominate Grant.
The Dcekin remarkt that he tho't it would
be safe, but McPelter tho't different. He
didn't bleeve in the first place that it be-
come a Peace party, or at least party wich,
eff it dipped its hands in gore at all did it
mostly in Northern gore, to take up a
Northern General witch had dun its best to-
ward sendin many thousands of Southners
to their long homes, and besides the General
wouldn't take it.
Bascom wanted to know wat the con-
ference at Long Branch meant? EfGeneral
Grant wus in the control NV Weed, Raymond
and the Moo York Herald, wich was ellal to
the World, the Flesh and the Devil, he felt
that he he'd trooly found the broad Macadam-
lied road to Democrisy. He begun to hev
hopes Nv him. Various opinions WIZ ex
pressed by various persons, when, without
comm to any conclusion we separated. l
retired that mite earlier than usual and my
mind dwellin on the chances NV my con-
tnuin in offs in case Nv Grants accession. I
fell into a troubled sleep, and dreamed a
dream.
Methawt gathered in front Nv the White
House wuZ gallant array. Nv our friends.
There was Franklin Peerce, and BOokanan,
and Vallandlgum, and the Woods, and
Magoffin. and Monroe, and Brite, and
Breckenridge, and the leaders Nv the
Democrisy, all & stan;iln TIER lookin wish
fully at the White House, and wonderin how
and by what means they Good git ill.,
johnson, blessins on his head, stood oEto
the portco wavn to EN- to come; but, alass
guardin the passage stood q mighty host of
Ablishnists, armed and clad in armor, and
in such force eZ TO make the stornlin Nv it
hopelis.
Allow shall we get in ?" sighed Belmont
"Ah indeed, how 2" ansered Henry
Clay Dean.
That's the great neral question-how 2"
ekoed Ben Wood.
"My friend !" sed Thurlew Weed, Its
easy EMF. When you can't sore like the
eagle, crawl like the snake Sorein is pre-
ferable, but crawlin will do at pinch. Is
ther not the Lion of the Republic! Can't
700 get him out and mount him? The
AblisLnists hev a regard for that same Lion,
and will never discharge ther arrers at 700
when yoor on his back, for fear NY killing
him. Besides, yoor ridin him will in some
degree do away with the prejoodis they hev
agin 700"
But how kin we mount him /" said
they.
=" Trust us for that" SAID Wood, and him
and Raymond trotted off to get him.
They got the Lion out, but ez soon ez he
cast his eyes onto the crowd he uttered q
roar witch struck terror into their soIes, and
lashed the ground with his tail, and cast up
dust with his claws in manner fearful to
behold
He'll never stand it! said Weed,
"onless he's blind-folded,n and Thurlow
wrapped Raymond like wet dish-rag over
his eyes, and that done, him and Raymond
pared his nails and blunted his teeth, so
that ct the bandage shood wrigglc off and
he shood see where he WIZ he coodent hurt
anybody, and shaved his name, till he looked
like very innocent Lion indeed, so that his |
appearance woodent startle them not used |
to his fiercenis, and in that condishn they |
led him very vuietly down to the crowd and |
give the word to mount.
Lord what a scramble ther wuz. They |
piled on from the tip Nv his ears to the end |
Nv his tail, and them wich coodent git on
Tor lack Nv room hung to the feet Nv them !
wich he'd got on, until it wuz nothin less
tnan pyramid Nv Democrats
Finally, when all wuz loaded. the word |
wuz given, and the lion moved off. They
wuz delited. He he'd strength enuff to |
carry EN-, and he wuz carryin Nv EN- |
straight on to the White House, and at |
good pace, too. Ez they approached the
portals the Ablishin defenders NV the place |
opened onto en-
Hold" sed Weed, "wood 700 destroy
the Lion Nv the Republic? 2"
"Stay yoor hands" shreeked Raymond: |
the savior Nv the country Is under u.s."
But they lafft them to skorn.
Its Brite and Vallandigum, the Woods, |
ct settry. we're frin at" shreekt they, sing
ing as they fought, THE Battle Cry Nv
Freedom" John Browns body lies a
mouldrin in the gravel" and sch other
sacrlligious odes Its them We see, and
them we'll kill"
And they blazed away till the whole mass
Wuz stretched dead and dyin on the plain.
Then they came up and began to turn
over the corpses, one by one, until at last
they came to the body Nv the Lion, wich,
peerced thro and thro, was as dead as anv
EN-.
all !' '' "'' Luz" "''''
And we've Stayed him 2" said another