Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1867-04-18


Senators are anxious to 90 home.
ana some of them are leaving Washing
you Without waiting for an adjourn
,iieiit' Ihe President, it is said. has
become so enamored of their eomnsnv
that he will call them together aga;n
Oy proclamation if they adjourn.
Odds and Ends
, The people live uncommon lono in
Vermont. There are two men there
SO old that they have quite foroot.
ten who they are, and there is mo.
oody alive who can remember IL for
them. '
The speaker who took the foor
mas been arrested for stealing lum.
Der.
It's well enough that men sbould
De killed by love. Man born of
woman should die of woman.
A fellow went to a parish priest
and told him, with a long face. that
be had seen ghost.
tor.
"Last night" replied the man; 81
was passing by the church, and up
against the wall did l behold the
specter!"
''1n what shape did he appear?''
asked the priest
''1n the shape of an ass"
$50 home and hold your tongue
about it" rejoined the pastor; '.you
are very timid man, and have been
Heightened by your own shadow"
A spiritualist says the moving
power of man is a spirit, which is
''prodigiously prolific in powerfully
| absorbent and profound combina
tions of matter into weird, fantastic
and Heterogeneous shapes of material
istic evaporatIons.
Domestic Toast-May your coffee
and the SANDERS against you be
alike-without grounds.
Which IVES the longest day that
Adam saw2 The day that had no
Eve.
A Model Advertisement.-Ap paper
out West contains the following
Lost strayed from the subscriber a
sheep all over white-one leg was
black half his body-all persons
shall receive five dollars to bring
him. He was she goat"
"Don't stretch your mouth any
WIDER" said dentist to a man who
was extending his jaw alarmingly.-
81 intend to stand outside to draw
your tooth"
A moral debating society out
West is engaged in discussion on
the following question: ''If a man
deserts his wife, which is the most
abandoned, the man or woman.
How to Evade the Laws-The
only grocer in Hasting, Michigan,
that persists in the selling of intoxi-
eating beverages, has a wheel letter.
ed with the initials of the liquor de-
sired, as B for brandy, w for whis-
ky, and so on. The drinker places
hisrtumbler upon the letter of the
drink he desires-not forgetting to
place the money there also-then
turns the wheel. 1t goes behind the
screen, is filled, rolls on its journey
round to the drinker, and no enc is
seen to sell, or take pay, and thus
the law Is evaded.
Aunt Betsey says: ''a newspaper is
like wife, because every man
should have one of his own" Aunt
Betsey is right.
Fashion, is dinner at midnight and
headache in the morning.
"Now, gentlemen" said Sheridan
to his guests, as the ladies left the
room, olet us understand each other.
Are we to drink like men or beasts?"
Somewhat indignant, the guests ex-
claimed, 'Llke men of course. -
"Then," he replied "we are going to
get jolly drunk, for brutes never
drink more than they want
The adage says: ga merciful man
is mereiful to his beast" and it might
have been added that wise man is
also; net perhaps upon the same mo-
tive, but upon the score of economy.
Mercy to domestic animals, however
no less than to our fellow man is
twice blessed, blessing him that gives
and him that receives it.
During a steam voyage, on the
sudden stoppage of the machinery,
alarm took place, es-
oecially among the female passeu-
gers.
''What is the matter? What is
he matter? For Gods sake tell me
he worst" exclaimed one more
anxious and frightened than the
.est"
After short pause, hoarse
Toice from the deck replied:
sNothing, madam. nothing; only
he bottom of the vessel and the top
IF the earth are stuck together"
That's True-A woman says what
,he chooses without being knocked
iown for it. She can take a snooze
.fter dinner while her husband goes
o work. She can go into the street
without being asked to ''stand treat
It every saloon. She can stay at
lome in time of war, and get mar
led again if her husband is killed
She can get divorced from her hus-
,and whenever she sees one she likes
,etter. She can get her husband in
lebt all over until he warns the pub
ie not to trust her on his account
But all of these advantages are over
balanced by the great fact that she
cannot sing bass, go sparkling. or
climb tree with any degree of pro-
priety. .G rs