North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-08-14
superstitious People.

There is lurking spice of superstition
halfhidden love of the marvellous, in ev-
cry mans heart. This remark has been
! often made, but, like all true observations,
it will bear repetition. The man who is
conmon-sensical in his exterior-who, in
outward show, is most utterly sceptical on
all such subjects, will yet conceal, in the
innermost recesses of his soul, some pre-
sentiment which he believes in some pet
apparition which, if brought to light would
retute his expressed opinions entirely
When carried only to a poetical point, su-
perstition is rather agreeable than other
wise but when an individuals whole life
is overshadowed by it's cloud, the case is
very different. Heaven defend us from the
thoroughly superstitious man Heaven
defend us Il say it reverentially) from the
black nightmare itself.
The superstitious man is usually one of
impaired digestion, and prone to indulge
in late suppers of heavy nature. At half
past eleven he will do-o,sr the best part of
u cold turkey, and all that was left of the
plnm-pndding, and retro fo-.hu;th In Aha
morning he arises with saffron complex
ion, and no appetite for breakfast and i'm
proves your appetite by informing you
that he knows something dreadful is 60
ing to happen" Naturally you wish to
know what, in order to be prepared but
all you can gather is that, just as the clock
struck twelve, black woman with black
dress entered his room and sat upon his
breast, forcing him to swallow nine cannon
balls, and afterwards endeayoring to smo-
ther him with the sofa cushion. You gent
ly hint at nightmare. He is offended i'm
mediately. He never has the nightmare I;
the dream was scarning you must be on
the lookout for all sorts Of misery. The
superstitious gentleman is so fully i'm
pressed with this opinion, that whatever
calamity occurs in the family for the next
ten years, is always referable to his warn
ing. As he has warning" almost every
night, he is well provided for any contin-
gency.
The superstitious lady is generally an
old aunt from the country. who lives all
alone in damp location, and feasts daily
on Mrs. Radclife's romances. She visits
you every spring, and entertains you in the
following manner
dear dear amt it awful, Jane, my
dear Awful
"What is awful, aunt p you inquire, in
alarm.
"Oh you haip't noticed it? Well, then,
l won't skeer you, though do wonder
yon hain't /; but then folks does seem to
be kept in the dark ; l suppose it is Pro-
vidence, oh, dear II
You insist upon knowing what is the
matter, and, by and by, Aunt Martha will
come close to you, and whisper behind her
hand:
"Didn't you hear that dog a howlin' p
You inform her that it is Smiths dog,
and that he always howls when he is
chained up.
'Ah," says Aunt Martha, shaking her
head Well, when Uncle Thomas died
there was dog howled almost hull
year before; and when neighbor Jen-
kins died, there was Pixies dog, he howl
ed and when Miss Nibbins died, there
was Biggin's dc g, he didn't howl nor moth
in, but he barked outrageous and Big
gins falks falks they ldI didn't kpoY nothin, n y. about
gins mean--and their dog he sot to and
barked. 'Lor, sez Miss Biggins, sez she,
how that dog does bark 'Oh, Miss Big
gins sez l, depend upon it, it's sign
'Lor, sez she, he arn't howlin.' THAT
don't make no difference, sez l, 'it's q
sign And, sure enough, 'twant two days
after that Miss Nibbins died and she liv-
ed two good miles away wasn't it JON
ny ?"
"lIow did your lookin' glass come so
cracked 2-there's another sign. There
was a lookin' glass cracked clear across,
when Betsey Biggins WIS struck with the
lightnin', standin straight afore it and
last night heard a rappin' on the wall
No! not the new family next door hang
in up their picturs: them was mysterious
rappins, my dear. But won't frighten
you only, if anything happens after I'm
gone, be sure and send for me, and I'll
come with all the pleasure in the world,
I'm sure"
AS the state of mind induced by these
warnings is very likely to lead you into
falling down stairs, or upsetting the tea
kettle over the baby, the old lady's predic-
tons are generally fulfilled.
The greatest blessing in family is, how
ever, superstitious servant girl, particu-
larly when you have plenty of small, i'm
pressible children. In the midst of pleas
ant evening party, she will astonish your
guests by banging open the door, and an
nouncing, with howl-''Och, hone but
the banshee is screamin' in the back yard
fit to split his sides, an it's what's my life's
worth to be takin' in the clothes, to say
nothin' of your honor bein' goin' to be a
hoary corpse, savin' yer prisence, before
the weeks over, and me wages not due
an who's to pay 'em ? for it's sure sign.
The Lord above US Northumberland II
do for me Sunday bonnet? and Pat COM
in to take me to Central Park Sunday
fortnight? aa
Or you will be alarmed, and the neigh
bors, and any old policeman who happens
to be floating around, will be called in by
a frightful midnight shriek,' and pro-
ceeding to the attic, you will be informed
that ''the ghost of the man who lived in it
before, came to the window wild white
sheet on - Your children will exist in a
sta,u vr ol..vniO raisLs, supo.inuuovu ny
horrible stories and you will lose your
servant Just when the house is filed with
company, "On account Of drdme she had,
which was a warning not to stay.
In short, if you wish to have happy
life, encourage superstition in your family.
Get up spiritual circles as frequently as
want girl. If you obey these directions,
your wife will become possessed of second
sight, your eldest son will become writ
ing medium, your youngest daughter
ghost-seer, and you yourself may eventu-
ally be installed in private mad apartments
in the nearest lunatic asylum.
A very sensible woman, who is going to
Europe, desires that when her husbands
name and her own are published in the
list of passengers, it shall be Mr.. -
and pi1s, not lady, for he goes abroad with
his own lawful wife, and nobody else"
Twenty-seyen years ago last Monday,