Delaware tribune. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1867-1877, 1867-08-29
what n little Boy Thought about
Thtngs.

InhnSSs
I am little boy about so many years old;
don't know whether I'm good little boy
but I'm afraid not, forI sometimes do wick
ed things, and once / cut sisters kittens tail
off with the shoppin' knife, and told her
big dog came along and bit it off and swol-
lowed 1t down before kitty could say Jack
Robinson, and sister said she was sorry, and
it must have been very naughty dog, but
my mother didn't believe me, and said she
was afraid had told lie, and I'm afraid
had and then she asked me if / knew
where liars went to and l said yes; that
they went to New York and wrote for the
newspapers; she said no-they went to the
bad place where was nothing but lake OF
fire and brimstun', and she asked me II
would like to go there, and l said no for
didn't think thered be much skatin' and slid
in on that lake, and the boys couldn't snow
ball each other on shore, and she said 1t was
more than that, Just as though that wasn't
bad enough for don't think they can play
base ball nuther; then she asked me II
wouldn't like to be an angel and have harp,
and l said no; I'd rather be u stage driver
and have big drum, for | couldn't play on
t'other thing. So shouldn't like to be a
nangel, for their wings must be in the way,
when they go swimm,n and play tag and
leap frog and besides it must be hard to ty,
when one amt used to 1t. But it would be
iolly to be stage driver and have long
whip and touch up the leaders, and say
g'lang there, what are We doin' on! should
like that much better'n flynn; and then moth,
er said there was dreadful stage of sinai
brother Bob hollered and said that he CUES
sed was on it, and then she whipped us
and sent us to bed without any supper. but
l didn't care about supper, for they hadn't
| nuthin but bread and butter for tea, and Bob
and got up and he lifted me in at the pan
| try window, and we got a mince pie and a
whole hat full of doughnuts and they
| thought it was the cook that stole EN-, and
sent her away the next day, and BOD SAID NJ
was glad of il for she didn't make good pies,
and the doughnuts wasn't fried enough, am
sometimes do swear for said by goll,
| the other day, and sister heard me, and s..
| told my mother, and my mother said Wa
bad boy and would bring her gray hairs
with sorrow to the grave, and she whipped
me, but / don't think it did her gray
hairs any good, and it hurt me, and when !
got up stairs / sad god darn it, but l SAID II
SO she Didn't hear me, and when she asked
me ii didn't think l was very wicked,
said was afraid was, and l was sorry, Tor
it, and wouldn't do so no more, and then
she said was good little boy, and told me
about George Washington who cut down 'l.e
apple tree, and was caught at it, and 81 ne
did it with his little hatchet, just as y 81
hadn't heard all about it before, and didn't
| always think he was big stupid Tor cutting
wood, when they had hired man about
the house, and dublin his little hatchet, and
besides it would have been great dc. !. =
| lier to let the trees be so he could have stole
| apples off in the fall. don't care If he was
the Father of his Country he wasn't smart,
and I'll bet you the boys in our school would
cheat him out of his eye-teeth swoppln jack
knives, and could lick him and not hardly
try and don't think he was very healthy
either, for never saw good little poy tnaI
wasn't always sick and had the mumps q, q
measles, and the scarlet fever, and WASH,
coughin' all the while, and hadn't to ta
castor oil, and tar-water, and couldn't
cherries, and didn't have to have his ~
patted till all the hair was was rubbed
. by everybody, that came to his mothers ai {!
be asked how old he was, and who died I"
save sinners, and what he had been studyin
, at school, and how far he'd got, and lots OF
other conundrums and had to say his cate
cisn, no should not like to be good little
boy, I'd Just as lief be nangel and be done
with it, but don't think l ever shall be a
good little boy, and other people don't think
SO too. for | wasn't never called good
little boy hut once, and that was when Uncle
John asked me where ] stood in my class,
and told him was next to the head, anu
|
quarter and then he asked me how many
boys there was in the class, and l said there
was only two, myself and little girl, and
then he wanted me to give him back the
quarter, and wouldn't and he ran after me
and stumbled over chair, and broke his
cane and hurt himself, and he's been lame
ever since, and I'm glad of it, for he isn't
my father, and hasn't right to lick me, for
get enough of it at home, and the quarter
wasn't good one either. | don't like Uncle
! John, and guess he knows it, for he says
! ant like any of the family, and he expects
I'll 20 to sea and be a pirate instead of a re-
spectacle member of society, and shouldn't
wonder, for I'd rather be pirate than
soap boiler like him, and don't care il he
is rich, its nasty business, and shant nave
to be pirate either, for one can make lots OF
/ money without that, and they're always
talking to me about being rich and respec-
table, and goin to Congress, and being Pres-
dent and all that sort o thing, but don't
want to be President there's Lincoln he was
} President, and guess he's sorry for II now,
and there's Andy johnson, guess he don't
like it much either, and fellow doesn
$ have to be respectable to be a Congressman,
! there's John Morrissey, he's made money,
and he's gone to Congress, and he has nice
, curly hair and nice clothes, and he didn't do
; any work either. / shouldn't like to be Il
! fighter like he is, for l shouldn't like to have
my nose smashed as his is, for it looks just
} like nv mothers big squash did after the
COW bit o chunk out of it, but should Ike
Z to have nice, curly hair, nice clnties ind lols
Y of money and cane, and have people look
G at me when walk down the street and say
e that's him. and don't care who knows IT,
/, for | don't want to be soap-boiler like Un-
! Gle John nor tanner like Uncle Hiram, and
: all the good people know of are soap.boli-
/. crs or tanners, except Mr. Stebbins, and he S
C a school teacher, and that's worse then eth
/; cr. for he has To board round amongst the
I neighbors, and they never put apple sass on
y the table when he's at the house, heard
9 Miss Spriggins tell Aunt Polly so, they wait
Il till he's gone out to spellin school or to see
g the minister's wife and talk about rheumati2
+ and red flannel and hot poultices for sore
g chests, and after he's gone they bring. ou
d the nice things aud eat EN- by themselves
/ with lots of pickles. He don't get anything
I but bread and conkin' butter and stale dough
% nuts that are left over from Saturday s bakin
70 oh, know how them things are done bu
At there's Bob calling me, and were goin
le bird-nesting, for know where there's !
re waller birds nest chuck full of eggs, mothc
sc saws it's cruel and the birds don't like it, an.
4 that wouldn't like TO have my eggs stole II
+ was bird, and don't think | should, but
ID amt a bird you know, and that makes oii
TO ference, and if you want to print this W.
can, for next to bein' a stage driver ana !
)? pirate I'd like'to be an editor, for you lei
n lers don't have to tell the truth, and you cal
re 20 to the circus without paying.
er MonrI CoMposlTloN.-The Essex States
On man saws boy in South Danvers wrote th