The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1867-03-13
MRS. CRUDLES CURTAIN LECTURES.
Continued from our last issue.
TIE TENTH LECTURE.
ON MR.. oAUDLE's sH1Rr-BUrToNs.

IheIe-yOu needn I begin to whistles people
don't come to bed to whistle; but it's like
you. | can't speak, that you don't try to
insult me. Once used to say you were the
best creature living; now, you get quite a
hend. DO let you reSR No, | won't let you
rest. It's the only time / have to talk to
you, and you shall hear me. Pm put upon
all day long; it's very hard if l can't speak
word at night; besides, it isn't often 1 open
my mouth, goodness knows!
because once in your lifetime your shirt
wanted button, you must almost swear
the roof off the house You didn'tStce Ha.
Mr.. Caudlel you don't know what you do
when you're in passion. You ,Dere not IN u
passion Weren't your Well, then | don't
know what a passion is-and / think
ought by this time. Ive lived long enough
with you, Mr. Caudle, to know that.
OTIS pity you haven't something worse to
complain of than button Off your shirt. If
you'd some wives you would, | know. Pm
sure I'm never without needle and thread
in my hand. What with you and the chill
dren, I'm made a perfect slave of. And
what's my thanks? Why if once in your life
buttons off your shirt, what do you cry
'oh at?-I say once, Mr.. Caudle, or twice, or
three times at most! Pm sure, Caudle, no
mans buttons in the world are better looked
after than yours. | only wish had kept the
shirts you had when you were first married!
should like to know where were your but
tons then2
eyes, it as worth talking of But that's
how you always try to put me down. You fly
into rage, and then it only try to speak
you won't hear me. That's how you men
always will have all the talk to yourselves;
apoor woman isn't allowed to get a word in.
"a nice notion you have of a wife, to sup
pose she's nothing to think of but her hus-
bands buttonsl A pretty notion, indeed, you
have of marriage! Hal if poor women only
knew what they had to go through-what
with buttons, and one thing and another
they'd never tie themselves up-no not to
the best man in the world, Pm sure What
aoouid they do, Mr.. Caudle? Why do much
better without you, Pm certain.
"And it's my belief after all, that the but
ton wasn't off the shirt; it's my belief that
you pulled it off that you might have some
thing to talk about. Oh, you're aggravating
enough when you like, for anything! All l
know is, that it's very odd that the buttons
should be off the shirt; for Pm sure no
woman's greater slave to her husbands
buttons than l am. | only say, it's very odd.
'HOwever, there's one comfort; it can't
last long. I'm worn to death with your
temper and sha'nt trouble you a great
while. Ha, you may Taught And dare
say you would lauge Ive no doubt
of it! That's your love- that's your feeling!
know that Pm sinking every day, though l
say nothing about it; and when Pm gone we
shall see how your second wife will look
after your buttons. You'll find out the differ
enoe then. Yes, Caudle. you'll think of me,
then; for then, hope, you'll never have
blessed button to your back.
"No, Pm not vindictve woman Mr..
Caudle; nobody ever called me that but you.
What do you say? Nobody ever knew so much
Ofme? That's nothing at all to do with it.
Hal wouldn't have your aggravating temper,
Caudle, for mines of gold. It's a good thing
Pm not as worrying as you are, or a nice
house there'd be between us. | only wish
you'd had wife that aCOuld have talked to
you'll Then you'd have known the difference.
But you impose on me, because, like poor
fool, l say nothing. | should be ashamed of
myself, Caudle
''And pretty example you set as father
You'll make your boys as bad as yourself.
Talking as you did all breakfast time about
your buttons! And a Sunday morning, too!
And you call yourself Christian! | should
like to know what your boys will say of you
when they grow up! And all about a
paltry button off one of your wristbands. A
decent man wouldn't have mentioned it. lVhy
'front.' hold ma tongue? Because | 1cont hold
my tongue! Pm to have my peace of mind
destroyed Pm to be worried into my grave for
a miserable shrt-button, and I'm to hold my
tongue Oh, but that's just like you men!
''But know what Pll do for the future
Every button you have may drop off, and
WON'T 50 uuCu dS put Il InIGdu W ell' Allu
] should like to know what you'll do them
Oh, you must get some one else to sew 'enl
on, must you? That's pretty threat for &
husband to hold out to his wife; and TO such
a wife as pve been, too-such a negro-slave tC
your buttons, as | may say! Somebody else
to sew 'em, eh? No, Candle, no; not while
Pm alive. When Pm dead-and with what
have to bear, there's no knowing how soon
may be-when Pm dead, | say-oh, what ;
brute you must be, to snOre so!
"Yopre not Snoring2 Hal that's what you
always say; but that's nothing to do with 1t
You must get somebody else to sew 'em
must you? Ha! / shouldn't wonder! Oh, no
/ should be surprised at nothing, now, nothing
at ALL It's what people have always told M
itwould come to, and now the buttons hav
opened my eyes. But the whole world shal
know of your cruelty, Mr. Caudle. After tn
wife Ive been to you Somebody else, in
deed, to sew your buttons! I'm no longe
TO be mistress in my own housei Ha, Caudle
wouldn't have upon my conscience what yol
have for the world! ! wouldn't treat any
body as YOU treat-nO, Pm not mad! It's you
Mr.. Caudle who are mad, or bad-and that
worsel | can't even so much as speak of
shirt-button, but that Pm threatened to
made nobody of in my own house! Candle
vou've a heart like hearthstOne, you have
To threaten me, and only because button
button
81 was conscious of no more than this,
saws Caudle; ''fOr here Naturerelieved me wit
a sweet, deep sleep"
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