American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1867-08-21
WITT AND WISDOM.

nsg When was beef>tea first made in
England When Henry VIII dissolved the
Pope's bull.
Bas-A forte that is too much stormed
nova Gays. The piano-fOrte.
By-A pretty female artist can draw the
men equally with brush and blush.
Ba~What do the sailors do with the
knot- the ship makes in day?
B1s- Nearly every evil has its compensa-
ton. If man has but one foot he never
treads on his own toe.
sa5-A womans tears are generally more
effective than her words. In such cases,
wind is less powerful element than water.
baTWho is the greatest p0ulterer Shakes.
peare Claudius, King of Denmark because
lie murdered most foul"
lR-" Patrick. how long has it been since
you left Ireland ?" eighteen months, my
lord but I've been there twice since"
eR-Foote expires 'ed the belief that a Ger,
tain miser would take the beam out of his
own eye, if he knew where he could sci the
timber.
sG~The more woman's waist is shaped
like an hour glass. the more it shows us
llldl hcl Cllbo VI iiiO dlp OuAs
A countryman perteving one of his
friends take much upon him because he
was born in LONDON, said, "lIave not all
the mice in London the same. honor"
s9y~A true tale is told of Charles Mat
thews, that, personating an exeentric old
gentleman, a family friend, he drank tea
with his mother without her fin ding out the
cheat.
rag. Practice does not always make per-
feet. Curran, when told by his physician
that he seemed to cough with more diff
Guilty, replied C. That is odd enough, for
have been practicing all night"
Gssy~ Artemas Ward in speaking of the
newspapers of his village, SAYS "that the
Advertisements are wel-written, and the
marriages and deaths are conducted with
signal ability"
DocToR.-" Well madam, how's your
husband lo-day 2"
Wife e." Why, doctor, he is no better"
Dlctor-" Did you get the lee:hes?'
Wife" Yes; but he only took three of
them raw l had to fry the restl"
ESy~A poor Man in Providence was fined
and sent to Jail for ten days for falling
asleep in church. The Providence Jaurnal
says: " If l"boring mau is to be sent to
jail for sleeping during sermon, how much
more should preacher suffer 70 failure
to keep his hearers awake ~
Ga~An Old Lady was tel ling her grand
children about some trouble in Scotland, in
the course of which the chief of her clan
was beheadel. +" 1t was nar greatof head,
to be sure" said the good lady, but it
was "a sad los to him.
ESSrTwo Friends meeting, one remarked
" have just met man who told me
looked like YOU "'relI me who it was,
that may knock him down." replied his
friend "Dn't trouble YOURSELF" said he,
"" | did that myself Immediately"
beg" Is it not astonishing" said a
wealthy individual, "that large fortune
was left me by person who had only seen
me once p 1T would have been still mors
astonishing,' said wag, " if he had left
il to you after seeing you twice"
EaS-Some time since gentleman died in
the town of Y, who during life refused to
believe in another world. Two or three
weeks after his demise his wife received, !,
through medium, a communication which
read as follows:
Dear wife, | now believe. Please send
me my thin clothes"
R1~, .Deld,' said an incipent legislator
to his indugent parent, who had gratified
him with a visit to the galleries of the Cap,
itol, SAY, do you see any row going on; |
don'?'
NO" said the astonished father, " Of
course not. Why did you ask?''
I" Cause the man in the big desk says the
eyes have it., and just now he said the nos,
bad it; 50 l thought they had some fit1
| down there some 'ers"
BrJohn tells story of Thompson and
Rogers, two married bucks of New York
who, wandering home late one night stop
ped at what Thompson supposed was hi.
residence, but which his comrauion insis-
ted was his own house. Thompson RAM
the bell Justify, when a window was opened
and a lady inquired what was wanted.
Madam, - inquired Mr.. Thompson, sisn'
this DIR T-Thompson's house?"
mo, replied the lady, this is the residenc
of Mr.. Rogers"
We'll" exclaimed Thompson, +" Mrs. 7
Thompson your pardon-Mrs
Rogers. won'tyou just step down to the don
and pick ou; Rogers, for Thompson want
to 6 hcmeY''
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