Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1867-07-18

oAthAH- a N4fH- HotttNl'
When Is q storm like fish after
hooks When it is going to abate.
When is a tombstone like q rush
lights When it is set up for late
husband.
Why can you not prevent the Mis-
sissippi from oyerfowing its banks!
Because dam it you can't
A Paris correspondent estimates the
number ofyisitors at that city at 500,
900, and says they sperd 81 ,o00,0O0a a
day on an average.
Prentice says It's q pity that cleo
tions in the South cannot take place
at this time for although The negroes
there are strong now, they VIII be
stronger in the dog days
eSgeel your Heart, said a eonsid-
crate father % his son, ''for you are
now going among fascinating girls.
Il would rather steal theirs, said the
unpromising young man.
Matilda Webster, a colored lady,
is now on trial at Wyaniotte, Kansas,
for the murder Of Michael o Marrah,
on juno sth, for which two c0lored
gentlemen were hung by a mob.
Three weeks ago, a woman left
trunk in a store in Providence, which
she did not call for On opening it
on Wednesday evening, the dead body
of : child was found in IT,
1 ENrERFRIsISG. - An undertakcr's
/ blind in New York contains the an
nOuncement: sAll the requisites for 4
I funeral furnished at the shortest no
ure. How aboni the corpse! Is
that, too, providedy
I Schel. the artist. Is likewise 4 pun
. ster. When with some Of his breth-
ren out sketching, one Of the club pro
I posed 10 remain and sketch another
landscape. @Oh, no. says Sehell,
diets ketch the cars"
Geo. 4. Hi, a colored barber Of
I Boston, and a married man. has just
been brought back from Chicago. TO
which place be elopod with 4 white
. girl Of u, daughter Of respectable
parents of West R0xblry.
A Young lady being engaged TO be
married, aud getting sick Of the bar
gain. applied 10 a friend 10 help her
unite the Knot before IL was too late.
Y "Oh, certainly, be replied, f-it's very
easy TO unite itwhen it's only beau
Il believe that mine will be the
cate OF Abel, said a wife 10 her hus-
hand one day. Why 50 inquired
the husband. because Abel was
killed by club, and your Club viii
kil me, il you continne 10 20 10 il
every night"
A lady in Madison, Indiana. has
( recently married her fifth husband.
Could q greater compliment be paid
T 10 the sterner sexg And they are all
alive too; having been separated by
the free and easy divorce system in
1 vogue in that State
Schillers celebrated play Of "The
Bride Of Messina" has been translated
into Greek and performed at Athens
with considerable success 1t was
brought out in quite acreditable man
ner. and IN spite Of some imperfcction
in the performance, was vel received
BY the public
Smuggling still continues along the
Canada border. The detectives there
report that many apparently honest
I citizens living along the b order have
Z been extensively engaged in smuggling
for several months past. by which
means they have deiraudUd the gov
eminent out Of thousands of dollars.
Ida and Ellen Snow, twin daughters
Of Harvey Snow, Of Mattip0iseti,
nearly four years old were poisoned
% death last week by eating friction
matches. When il was discovered
that they had swallowed the poison,
the mistake was made oftry ing toex-
pei il by cathartic instead Of emetic
remedies, with a fatal result.
A writer in a London paper SAYS /:
Oar Irish Chief Secretary being the
owner Of a fne ostrich which some
DAYS ago was safely delivered Of an
eug, received the following telegram
from his steward "My lord, as your
+ lordiip IS 0uf Of tie c5atrg, | have
procured the biggest goose l could
ind TO SIT on the ostrich's egg
AMIsrAKE-It seems that the End
ofihe-Worii Or. Cummings made a
/. trifinr error In his calculations con-
. ccruinr the total destruction to take
place in ls67. In revising bis work
he found that he had overlooked fg-
ures. which add something ike Quin-
T tillion Of years to the race which this
mundane sphere has to run We feel
: relieved
Balloons are now sent up in Eng
J land. % which rockets packed with
. powdered magnesium are attached
As the magnesium burns, the country
over an extensive area is illuminated
! a. bv bright moonshine. This would
have been a feature on the Fourth.
'. . some ingenious Yankee will no doubt
invent perpetual moonshine before
3 long
Bishop Burnett once preaching be
fore Charles III. was much warmed by
bis subject and uttering religious
. truth in a very earnest manner, with
great vehemence struck his fist upon
the desk. and cried out in a loud
, voice, @Whodare deny this p "Faith, -
I.h...rrn4 fha IA rrl- m a kew not nuita