The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1867-11-20

/ SpicE. Our spice, box largely predomi-
4 mates in the "widow, wife and maid"
variety, this week, and we open, first
begging pardon, with - -;
( THE sTAHAERINe WIFE, s..
| When deeply ia love with Miss Emily Pryne,
I vowed If .he lady would only be mine
= would always endeavor to please her
| She blushed her consent, though the stutter-
Said never word except You're an ass
| = An ass-an ass .idious teazerp. = y
But when we were married found to my ruth
| The stammering lady had spoken the truth I;
T For often, in obvious dudgeon,
She d Say-if ventured to give her Jog
In the way of reproof- You're a dog:dog.
~ dog *. :ss:,. Esi,lI.-- :
Adog-a dog-matic curmudgeon." :
| Aud once when T,said rive can hardly afford
This extrayagant. style with our moderate
+" - board, = - 80 = -
| And hinted we ought to be wiser, =
She looked,I assure You. exceedingly blue
And fretfHlly cried s..You' re Jew-Jew-Jew-
+ : A very ju-dicious adviser. =:
Again, when it happened that wishing to shirk
Some rather unpleasant and ardaous work :
= ~ begged her to go to a neighbor, ~:
| She wanted TO know why Inade such fuss,
And saucily said, You're acus- cus-cus-. :.
= You were always accustomed to labor!'
oat of temper at last with the insolent, dame,
A feeling the woman was greatly to blame,
To -scold me instead of caressing, r.
Imimicked herspeeeh--ike achurlas am
| And anerily said "Yon,re adam-dam- dam
+ "A damage instead Of blessing p ::
.The next is Of the widow Grizzle, who
Eby the way would make a very economi-
cal, though: tough wife, for somebody,
now that Mr.. Grizzle is defunct. The
stery goes that : =, 81, s. 80.
"A very worthy fisherman by the name
Of Grizzle was drowned and all search
FOR his body proved uaaSailiug.@ After il
had been in tho water some shonths,
however, it was discovered floating on
the surface, and .akento the shore, e,where-
upon Mr.. Smith was dispatched: to, con-
sey the intelligence to the much aMict-
ed widow. Z = -
;. :. s"Well, Ms, Gsizzle, We 4s,aFe found
Mr.. Grizzlies BODY. -. = 80 = =
.You don't say SO y -
Yes we 'haFe-the jury; has sot on ii,
and found It full Of eelsr - y. ~ -
E"You: don't say Mr..Grizz!e's body is
full of eels san - = = ~. s.
Eyes SIS, and we want 70 know what
youwill have done with its'', = -. = :
sW by how many eels do you think
there is in him ~ = :: ? : :
[~<s'sWhy, abouta busbeln r. ):
swell, then, Ithink- you had better.
send the eels up to the house, and set
him again. y; = s,,s :. Z: 4. = -. :.
In the same: connection follows q re-
Fmarkable instance: Of resignation, as
| shown by the excellent Mrs: Hopper,
who when told of her husband s, death,
exclaimed: ~" - - ;, ;:
-"Well,, 4 declare, our troubles never
come alone. 1T isn't week since I lost
my best hen, and now Mr.. Hopper has
.ss7Fs-T, : ? - : ...,.>-.,.,..r!st :. .
The following not bad story is told on
a man who thought he knew how to-
akeep ahotei,':he 'smeiled q mice nice IN
this wise: - -. - = -. - Z Z:
( Two country ~ 1len eoos toag.s'ss az u,s
three bottles Of wine daily. The last day,
ana osloEe saey naa sts1seu d ssss .f,so;r &
utspdse aawssaoeds ms ~ sne, as,,fas 80.
aolses. !hsy a. az 1st sS.s.eo apoHs W., Ss.,
thew weree. 3 ready. The Judge; likethose of
the Otgmpiaa games, gave the word.
one, two, three, aud go. away tney
went. and have pestaer eeea seen RoE
heard Of since. - - -, !
:. ~, H. rs,5a, ~ t,oi;eva
a'e us.' s.. aut's' = LUZ ,sass -
all that appears 10 prlht, Ior . instance @ tue 2
following, though having the stamp OF
authority, looks. q little sianderous
An editor says his attention was hrst
crawn 10 maI'''nos'y oy '"e SH'..u, hs,I nia' !.
her III "uieA % p.s.y 80 ga; ea;,a nanu'so @ =, q q
oioom, @ "us ''.h;oh h;s G % u;fs y. % nJIas %. ISoon ~
!l'an'.er III u'ou u1. u'o =" ''0 A""''' " - ''o'D
IS not 50 very p'e'Sa"''
lne nelsn' o' 'nooes'y 10 ''as .! tue
young lady who desiring leg OF chicken
at table, said:
"I'l take the part that ought to be
draSSp6 drawers = A nice V0llnr pen-