Rutland weekly herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1859-1877, 1867-08-01
,rrom,I 40 Nor hern Magazine
The Poet Husband.

M. HuSu " Aiaiiototii hatlNo VI tnc
Emerald Isle, and Of respectable exterior,
was charged with assaulling and ill-treat-
ing his wife. Mrs. O'Halloran was a
splendid specimen Of womanhood. She
was tastefully and elegantly attired.
The complainant having been sworn
and examined, deposed to the assault.
She was heart-broken by the treatment
she had received at the hands of her I'M
kind husband He not only squandered
her money, but deserted her altogether.
Judge-"Well, Mr.. O'Halloran, what
have you to say to these grave charges
preferred against you by your conjugal
partner 2"
Mr.. O'Halloran-"Most potent Sirs,
with heavy signs and tears, must con-
fess that in my younger years, woman's
smile was sure TO draw me to her, mag.
net like then for a while I'd WOO her,
and constant be till some more sunny face
would lead me of again in Cupid's chase.
Sweet was the life led: wanton bee :;
every fair flower had honeyed stores for
me. Thus did I live in loves bright bower
enjoying life's rarest gifts that seemed to
know no cloying. Thus still I'd live {;
but in luckless hour, | met with one
whose charms had wondrous power, in
twining in loves bonds my trusnt heart
so that from her | thought I'd never part.
Besides, in widows weeds my charmer
drest flor her first spouse was gone,
hope, to rest) when | became her deeply
smitten guest. looked upon her pale,
lofty brow and thought, 'this is the god
dess which thro' life I've sought" Strange
fancies then did to my mind occur, which
were, as more or less they seemed like
her, that felt love for others of her sex,
or faithful was. These ideas would per-
pick greater mind than mine : l be-
heved that we were pre- ordained TO wed
by destiny, long ere this rolling world be-
gan to be. But hang these strange ideas,
they're naught but nonsense such senti-
mental fudge l laughed at long since.
But, as | said, or meant TO say, her face,
decked with widows caps, possessed
such grace, such modesty, occurrences,
and what not, that my poor wandering
heart at length was caught. | sighed and
sang, wrote sonnets half dozen, and
popped the question. Suddenly unfrozen
her heart became, like to some frost-bound
brook, dissolving meath the day gods ar
dent look. The matrimonial ordeal soon
was passed, the honeymoon scarcely a
month did last my wife was not the god
dess that | thought her, she kept me
always eddying in hot water. If | dare
look at Jane, or Laura's eyes, or answer
Emma's glance with smothered signs, full
m my face would the hall-door be slam
med. If | were dead could not be more
damned ! My tyrant triumphed in a
thoughtless hour, DER all my worldly
wealth | gave her power. Then, then,
indeed, | was her verest slave. fled for
freedom, but unto my grave she'll haunt
me would | knew cell or lonely cave
where | TIL death could dwell All me !
| fear that even after life I'd still be
plagued and pestered by my wife"
Judge-"You had a right to stay with
your wife"
Husband -"Sooner I'd be exiled to
some bleak shore, the hirsute inmate Of
some cavern boar, gazing the watery
waste of ocean DER, stunned by the
thunders of the tempest's roar. There I'd
exc out the remnant of my life, in striving
to forget ever had a wife"
Judge-"Mrs. O'Halloran appears the
very reverse Of what you seek to repre-
sent her. Her demeanor is calm and
dignifed. Poet, though you be, you ought
to be proud of such charming com
panion."
Husband IF to her lot some female
errors fail, look in her face and you'll fer
get them all SO sung Dan Pope somt
hundred years ago had he been wed, hi
rhymes would different flow had he bu
sung in matrimonial chains, he'd sing as
have sung, far other strains. If in he
face unclouded calm appears, if her eyes
sparkle like respondent spheres, and i
her voice is unsteady low, soft as thu
tones from angel harps that flow, still
doubt your senses, and believe that brow
oft tempest clad, and that those brIgh
eyes glow with fires Internal, like tn
furies when they're sent on earth t
scourge oppressive men believe tina
voice whose sweetness won such praises
can hoarsely scream-'Confound you, G
to blazes.' You'll find woman often j
the extremes, so don't believe her Away
what she seems p
The case was dismissed, and Mr.. Hug
O'Halloran was recommended to go liv
with his wife, and treat her kindly as h
should do, and as she appeared to deserve
The poet left the court impressed wit
the impossibility of complying with "hi
honor's" decision
How Fortunes have been Made