Delaware State journal and statesman. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1855-1870, 1867-03-29

AZ the ladies left the room, 'let us understanu L
zach other Are We to drink like men or beasts 7"
Somewhat indignant, the guests exclaimed, "Like \
msn, Of course" "Then," he replied, Two are 1
going to get jolly drunk, for brutes never drink c
more than they want" {
This is good from the Boston Post
think isaid Isabe) the fearful sky
Is weeping sadly-only hear ii Sigh
Do not (said ouilp) commisserats Its Wossi
1t does not wesp--it only blows Its SHOWS.
The vain author of certain history once
boosted that some Of bis descriptive passages
exceeded anything in "Paradisc Lost" "fes''
said bystander, al believe your work will be
appreciated when Milton Is forgotten--but not
till then !"
Mothor.-"IIsre, Tommy, Is some nice castor
oil, with orange juice in IT."
poctor-"Now remember, don't give 1t ell to
Tommy; leave some Of Il for me-"
Tommy (who has sheen there )-"Dootor's
nice man, ma give 1t all to the Doctor"
A laundering or willful oOmpOsitOr and proof
reader on the Davenport (Iowa) Gazette recent
" caused that journal to appear with the follow
ing dispatch 1.-THE Committee OF Ways and
Meaps have decided to put Chase aud Butler on
the free list.n It should have read: "Cheese
and Butter"
In q communication by reverend gentleman
TO the Cincinnati Gazette on RitusliSm, "ourn
ing little franknceuse," WAS printed "burning
little from kerosene" The reverend gentle
man complains that they have thus made light
Of q very serious matter.
Wilson, the celebrated vocalist, was upset one
dSy 10 his carriage, near to Edinburs. s'Otoh
paper, after recording the accident adds, awe
: are happy to state that he was able to appear
: the following evening In three pieoesl
A clergyman was one day talking with BIZ
landlord, q universalist, on the personality
Tho devil. A little more inorsdulou', the gen
tleman remarked, al should like to soc the devil
A "Cant you waltz" was the quiet reply.
IN A Ptpsr.cLAss BANDING HoUsu.--A gre1
10 deal Of pretsntiOn, sxOrbI'snt charges, cut
rs nothing to ent insults from the landlady II 20
g. complain, and lawsuits II you don't pay promp
At ly for what you never had.
I'd PuHPINo WiTHnss.-A lawyer engaged in
% case tormenled witness so much with que
lions that the poor fellow at last cried for waite
he "Thsre, F." said the judge, 81 thought you'd pun
10 him dry"
liS Josh Billings on Preaohiug-"l always adVi
'er short sermons, especially on hot Sunday
n' n minister kast strike lie on boring forty mi
" utss, be has either got poor gimlot or else
'AN Ia a.borins In the roug place"
, ~. ..sir." said somebody in New York to N
No. Thaokeray, "what do you think tn Bnglana
w., Mr.. Tupperf" "sir," responded the sr'
20 novelist, din England, We don't think OF
ado Topper ct ALL"
,our There are three classes into which ell the
The womsu mast seventy that ever knew were to
and divided: /, That dear old soul y inst o'o
uith man 8, that old witoh.-GoOleridge.
tors merit little girl boosted to one Of her fris
and that her "father kept carriage" "Ah, b'
With was the triumphant reply, "my father drivs'
med omnibus"
There 10 one advantage In being blocRh'
they arc never attacked With low sp'r''
'0u auoplexy. The moment man can worry
-. eeassB to be fool.
,ha The man who had to lower his shirt-coll'
:. ,ha pass under railway bridge arrived In
bsre. York last week. He was labOrlns under O.
,se OF attack Of 'collsry" morbus.
hovn silence lie the safest response forall tho DOL
1t by dictIon that arises from imporliuence, Vnlg
spot or envy.
Dilute Alta recent public meeting 10 Msnchess
your WINS resolved that "all persons In town. oV
u can dogs, shall be muRzled."
rO'.s In order to be definite, q clergyman once
''o W notice that meeting would be held provi
+, ~ did not storm enough to require umbrellas
IL Ind II hos come to be debated in military
vh;cb whether the Founding Hospital is deS
.essuce pace for infantry practice.
ligiOus The very climax Of supeiaouS benev
nd you has been declared to DO that OF no'u'pH
breila over duck in the rain.
A waEgish editor says that the street
Aue ,n' wea.srn town IRE to be lighted with red
~ rirls. We'd like to hug the lamp posts
,depos There ia feeblsness Of body which p
,ut APP Ftom strength of mind, and feebleneSs
which comes Of strength Of body
state Of bury your troubles. but dont unger
frlspdS the graveyard copIurIus up their ghosts
den, on you.
sudden Prentice says the muddy streets Of bc
for. are proof that the Inhabitants are not TIT
raTy and aorp for tho way Of .rsusgrsssOTs is ha'
70 DnAIn LANDs.-Drink whisEey az
> nOP'us nil YOUR time ct the village tavern I
'''s" drain you Of all your lands IN short III
N. h.nl. II young man likes girl, let him
Nv 4 present; il he LOvHs her, let him Ou
,ibly cau. sursRs. o.ohl
-, 10 dis. Men dying make their Wills-Why eau
vivesg Because wlves have ther WIN
uch walls, their lives.
-emeu, or MACMILLAN has 10 put up with int
: the mys' leAvings.
what Is fasbion-Dinusr at midni
:, hssdashs In The morning.
ouI failAr Transporter Tut
happily.
TN .a,,. ,,,A. e f4nnlneaa The t0puoBt p