Delaware State journal and statesman., 1867-06-11
WIT AND mumoR.

And old Dutch farmer had a handsome daugh-
ter, named Minnie, who recently joined the
Methodist church, against which the old farmer
was somewhat prejudiced. The young minister
under whose instrumentality Miss Minnie was
concerted, visiting her frequently, excited his
suspicion that oil was not right. Accordingly,
he visited the church one Sunday night, and
seated himself, unObserved, among the ooDgre-
cation. Soon after taking his seat, the minister,
who was preaching from Daniel, 9th chapter,
25th verse, repeated in a loud voice the words Of
bis text, "AIene meme, tekel upharsin," upon
which the old farmer sprang to his feet, seized
the affrghted girl by the arm, and hurried her
GU, of tho meeting house. Having reached the
chtrch yard he gave vent to his feelings in these
words: ~ knows dere vas something's wrong,
uud now | schwares to EN-" "Why, father,
what do you mean," replied the bewildered and
Innocent girl. "Didn't L." shouted the old man,
st,iking his fists together, and stamping with
bis foot, s'didnt hear de parsOn call out to you,
MINNIE, Minnie, TICKLE DE pARsoNl |"
party of ladies were discussing the question
of first sight 'over the cups and tea The lady
whose duty it was to preside, remarked that she
always formed an opinion of q person at first
sight, and generally found 1t to be correct.
Mamma interposed her youngest hopeful
+. wlat was your your opinion of me, when you
fr.t saw me p The unexpected interruption
suddenly turned the conversation.
The following very perspicuous and laconic
n mnner of telling plain story may be instruc-
tive to slanderers:-
nMother Jasper told mo that she heard Crate
Woods wife soy that John Hardston's aunt men
tened to her that Mrs. Trusty was present when
th, widow Barman said that Capt. Heartley's
cousin thought Ensign DoOlittles sister believed
that old Mrs. oxby reckoned that Sam Trihe't
bitter half had told Mrs spauding that she
hard John Rhenner's woman say that her mother
tod her that Mrs. Dagatelle had two husbands
3 INA HuRRY-A boy with post-ofice panta
r. Icons and ventilated hat rushed into drug-stor
in Bellows Falls, the other day, with apper II
his hand, and exclaimed
"Doctor, mother sent me down to shoItecar.
rop, quicker'n blazes, coz bulbs sick as tn
IN IN t:ckens with the pipen-chox, and she wants
,himblefull of pollyg"c in this dipper, cos
hadn't bot gottle handy, and the kin pup
M cot the bine Writer'S int. Got any"
les Madam said cross-tempered physician
. . patient, if women were admitted to parads
heir tongues would make it a purgatOry.' AI
some physicians, if allowed to practise Their
replied the good lady, would soon make it
desert
A lady asked a noted doctor if he did not thi
the small bonnets which the ladies wore hat
ntsd tendency to produce congestion OF the bra
heir heir "oh no, he replied, "ladies who have bra
don't wear them"
teacher was about to fog pupil for hav
said he was q fool, when the boy cried out. ''
IA. dontl wont call you 80 any more. lfl ne
soy what think again all the days of my iii
When General Bragg entered Kentucky at
head of what he had reason to believe vict
Gus host, he said to a brother officer; Kens, .
gici. When he came out, it was Vice 0ei
II. (ahD
CoNslpERArE.-It is said that some mot
have grown so affectiOnate that they give
children ohloroform previous to whipping Il
% W What is the difference between honeyc
and honeymoon A hon0yoomb consists
sTT number Of "small cells, and a honeymoon
,mos ~ sht sists of one "great sell"
FRO What is the difference between tailor q
a. a. SHT Sng siege gum One works the breechss, and
nts for other breaches the works
, ~
rect. what ia the differenee between q New Zea
N ON ,nd m Amaricon motherP One loves Z
yage-a VI oHN u" .A'NNA-S ~
$soOo babies, while the other prefers baby tender
''"h What kind of leather would naked Mo
=. mind you Off Undressed morocco.