davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1865-1872, 1867-04-05

A good story is tod of Glasgow mer'
chant who, on his deathbed, sent Tor Free
Chsrch clergyman. Having some fears re.
gardng his future prospects, he asked tho
reverend gentleman, ado you think, it
were to leave 10000 to the Free kirk
my sosl would be saved 2" "Well, an
swered the cautious minister, II couldn't
just promise you that, but | think it's an
experiment worth trying"
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1865-1872, 1867-04-05

Tie man in Memphis who complains
Of his wife for daily cowhiding him, evi
IDENTIFY does not love her; and, besides, he
is no philosopher, or hcwould lot her con
tinuc to whale him, on the principle tha,
il does her so much good, while it dom
hurt him much.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1865-1872, 1867-04-05

E1-"What are you at now?' said q
ragged hevsboy TO well dressed lad,
whom he seemed to know.
"I'm in store"
"What do you do p
~ sweep out the store and run crrands. "
"Wcll, tell me--you don't feel as good
now as when you wero in business for
YOURSELF do your
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1865-1872, 1867-04-05

Cheer up.

- Cheer up. ~ aeift2ii u
Do you look upon the bright side,
Or do you look upon the darks
There are two sides to the pictare. fT
And TO the human heart.
Have you one trnc friend to comfort !.
In sickness and in health7
To love you still In poverty,
And forsake you not in wealth.
Have you home and friends to cheer YOU
When Affections ell your cup,
Aud naught but disappointincnts, fh
To keep your spirits upi = ..si iai.s
II your path Is rough and lonely, ~
poyour duty and do right, itaf
And when At last you get 70 Heaven,
Both sides will there be bright.
NANCY A. GAST.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1865-1872, 1867-04-05

The lady who did net think it rcspccta
bic to bring her children up to work, has
lately heard from her two sons. One OF
them is bar-kccper on aat-boat, and
the other is steward in briekyard.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1865-1872, 1867-04-05

A Yankee girl, who wished to hire
herself out, was asked if she had any fol-
lowers or sweethearts. After little hes.
itaion, she replied: We'll, now, can't ex-
actly say. bc a sorter courtcd, and n
sorter not. Reckon more sor;cr yes than
q ROrtcr no.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1865-1872, 1867-04-05

IN Englishman haa patented ws.tp
without hands that shows on IT. ihee n"
asures bat lhusc Which tell lie hopr q hH
minute lonked for The figures Brs a.
played as they arc wanted, aud NO rehef
sppcar ON the watch FACE.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1865-1872, 1867-04-05

The Chinese use water only as mcdi
cine, and tlsepin very small doses.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1865-1872, 1867-04-05

n young man who had recently inken
wife, says he didn't find it half 80 hard
10 get married as he did TO gct furnitrc.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1865-1872, 1867-04-05
Puzzles.

The following puzzle. which is deci-
dedly ingenious one, may have been
seen by several of our readers, but We
believe we have never published it;
1.-THE b mt, put;
If the putting:
Here too, 10 an address for letter.
WooD
JouN
Mass.
The solution to the first is this:
if the great b empty, put colon;
II the great b full, stop putting colon
Or,
Ifthc grato be empty, put coal on.
If the crate be FULL stop putting coal on
The second is John under Wood
and over Mass. or John Underwood
Nndoyor, Mass.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1865-1872, 1867-04-05

There are lvc female editors in Iowa.
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1865-1872, 1867-04-05

One sentence Mr.. llcrndon recollests Of
the President before his departure
for Washington that is memorable as
showing his purpose.
Billy, he said. 4 hopo there will he no
trouble but will makc the South a
grave yard rather than see u Slavery gos.
pei triumph, or successful secession Lore
this Government 10 the caese of the pco-
pie aud representative institutions
To this Mr. llerndon added Mr.. Lin
coin was mercless IN the abstract Bat
ties never moved him unless he trodc
among their corpses. lie would have
carried on the war forever, or as long as
the people ivtrusted him with It's man.
agement, ratller than give i up
Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1865-1872, 1867-04-05

Did he ever drink p
Only in Indiana, when he took whisky
as aeue medicine. Aficr his nomination
for the Presidency it was suggested to him
that the Visiting Committee would require
some hospitality. Very we'll he replie,N
amy food that Is proper authorize to be
purchased
But these gentlemon will expect some
liquors.
Il can't permit to strangers what | dc
not do myself No liquors, Billy there
tho tagerny =
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1867-02-19


A PosER:-A farmer called at tht
house Of a lawyer to consult him pro
fessionally.
lis the Squeer to home q" he in.
quired Of the lawyers lady, who open
ed the door at bis summone.
He was answered negatively. Dis.
appointment shone in his face after
moments consideration. a thought
revived him.
"Mebby yourself can gi' me the
necessary information as well as the
Squeer, SEEM as yer his wife,
The lady promised to do so, if on
learning the nature Of the difficulty
she found it in her power, and the
farmer proceeded to state the case as
follows:
aS'pose you were an old white mar
an | should borry you to 60 to mill
with a grist on yer back, an We sho'd
go no further than Stair Hill, when
all at once We should back up and
hitch up and kneel down backwards,
and break your darn old neck. who'd
pay for ye? Not me, darn me if
would L"
The lady told him that, as he had
decided the case, it. was not necessary
tor her to give any advice, and closed
the door.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1867-02-19
Grant gonntp 9erala,


Put quantity Of good glue into a
bottle and pour in enough of the best
quality of alcohol to cover It, and
kept in some warm place-say on
shelf in the kitchen-for a few days
when the glue will be dissolved and
ready for use; and always ready, ex.
.cept in cold weather, when it will be
necessary to keep the bottle in the
kitchen for few hours, previous to
using it. afit appears too thick, put
in more alcohol if too thin, put in
more glue. Keep it .corked tight, as
the alcohol will soon evaEorate, and
render the glue too thick.
/ know this to be genuine article,
as have used it for ten years, and it
has never failedsSs to unite the most
incorrigible fragments of shattered
union" as is claimed for Spalding's
prepared glue.
Get very small paint brush for
laying on the glue with, and pour out
into tea cup about as much as will
be used in few minutes, and then
wash out the brush in soap.suds after
using it,. Always keep articles that
have been glued in warm room fol
one day at least, after having beor
'glued.
The best quality of gluc is distin:
guished for it's clearness, while pool
glue is ola very dark color, and rath
er dirty.-S. Edwards in Ohio Farmer
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1867-02-19

"A BOTANICAL Uses OF CASTOR OIL.
st is not so universally known as
1T deserves to be that castor oil is as
useful IN trades as it is as a medicine.
It is much better to soften and re-
DEAN old leather than any other oil
known; when boots and shoes are
CREASED with it, the oil will not at all
Interfere with the polishing after
wards, as it is the case with lard. OIL
I've, or any other oil. In Harrisburg,
Pa., the old leather hose OF some Of
the fire companies was creased with
1T, and found to become almost as
soft and flexible as new leather
Leather belts for the transmitting
motion in machinery will usually last
three to five years, according to the
wear and tear they are exposed to !;
when creased with castor oil they
will last ten years or more, as they
will always remain flexible and never
crack. Besides this advantage, cas-
tor Oil will prevent slipping, so that
abelt three inches wide, impregnated
with it, will be equal to belt four
and half inches wide without castor
oil. 1t is necessary, however, too
wait twenty four hours, till the oil
has disappeared from the surface and
penetrated the leather, otherwise the
freshly creased surface will cause
slipping. That rats and other YER
min detest anything impregnated
with castor oil, and will not touch it,
is another advantage.-Phia. Ledger.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1867-02-19

w A reason is now given why the
stars didn't shoot last month as ad-
vertised. The awkward mistake is
explained as follows: When tho mo-
lolygistric temperature of the hori,
zon is such as to colorocise the inn
pericnt indentation Of the hemisphere
analogy, the cohesion of the horax
curbistus are thereby virtually des
lprived Of their fissurial disquisitions.
This effected, s.apid change is pro-
duced in the thoramumber Of the
gympasticustus pulerium which caus-
es q conN acular in the hexagonal Of
the tcrrestrium aqua versula: Clouds
then become mass Of deodotomized
spcculg Of ceremocular light which
can only be seen when it visible.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1867-02-19
Gossip with Contributors.
! By JOSH BILLINGS.


No motifs will be took-from this
date hereafterwards-ov letters that
haint got postage stamp onto them.
Don't write only on one side ofthe
manuscript, and don't write much
|.onto that.
Don't send manuscript unless
you cen read it yourself after it gets
dry.
We pay, ali the way up hill, from
zen cents q one dollar 1or contrlou~
''ons' accoruang . tAc AeAt.
j, Az ~ settlements - t44ue promptly az
'nG D Gnu y ne * ensuing year.
loe.rS any PROSE p'eces are respect.
is4 ~ : sI; ;sa,'tl
,rf ~ - n1 $3.50 inalIo pflce Paue TOT
,ne ne m;th o anat I hn,. ~nu eiopoe
70 WIN any 1Ioi ,i.Au WIZ
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1867-02-19

n@- Fenianism, which has caused
so much excitement in this country
and SO much alarm in the dominions
of Queen Victoria during tile last
year or two, is just about giving up
the ghost. James Stephens, the
great Irish head centre, who has
been in New York for some months
past, living in grand state upon the
contributions of bis deluded followers
and repaying them with boastful
promises Of an immediate rescue OF
Ireland from British power, has en-
tirely collapsed, and is now hiding
himself from the vengeance of the
mob. It is represented that he has
receiv ed no less than $250,000 from
the Fenian organization, all of which
has disappeared. One General Glea-
son has been appointed to succeed
him as commander Of the "1rish
army" whatever that is. In ireland
there is now no probability ola ris>
ing, and the English government has
taken care that such an enterprise
couldin no way be successful. Those
who have contributed toward paying
the expenses Of the Fenian revolu-
ton will perhaps have gained a little
profitable experience in return fol
their investment of cash.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1867-02-19
Facts Concerning Human Life.

The total number of human beings
on the earth is computed at 5000, O0Q
600, and they speak 1908 known
tongues
The average duration oflife is 33a
years.
One-fourth of those born die be-
tore they are years old, one half be-
fore they are the age Of IL.
Out OF one hundred persons, only
reach tho age Of 60. =
Out Of 500 persons, only one at.
tains the age of 80.
Sixty persons die every minute.
Tall men live longer than short
pnes.
Married men are longer lived than
the single.
Rich men lived, on the average, AZ
years, but the poor man only 80.
There is drunkard to every "a
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1867-02-19

nm- Not long ago a melodeon was
purchased and used in the Methodist
church at College Corner, Ind. Some
of the members were strongly oppos.
ed to it's introduction, and so much
i'll feeling resulted that the young
piano was finally carried out of the
church one night BY unknnwn par.
ties and burned up. Recently snos
Their mclodeon was procured and
placed in the church, but it was also
demolished.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1867-02-19
ESTATE OF BUELL..


In Probate, County Court, Grant County, Wisconsin
In the matter of Guardianship of Kate p. Buoil,
Sarah NJ Buell., Chalker H. Buell. Carrie f. Buell. and
George E. Buell., minor heirs Of Amos. N Buell., de-
ceased. February Term, 1867. Present. VIM. McGon-
igal Judge.
cal. end alinr the petition Of Emily A. Buell.
Of the city Of Dubuque,s ss~s4a~~u - iowa:
guardian Of said minors, representing among 9TH
er things that her said wards seized Of certain
real estate in this county, and that it IS expodent that
the same should be sold and praying for license to sell
the sao and it appearing to the Court from said pc
on that i would be beneficial to the said minors to
sell said real estate;
II is ordered ana directed that the next Of kin to said
inorS and all others interested IN said estate appear
before the Judge Of this Court at the Probate ONCE ID
lancaster in said county, Monday the 25t day Of
March, A. p 1867 At one O'Clock inthe afternoon, Of
said day to show cause il any there shall be, why Ii
cense should not be granted to sell said real estate
nrayed for in said petition;
And il ID further ordered that notice Of said applca
ton and hearing be given to al persons Interested in
said real estate BY publishing copy Of this order for
four weeks successfully, once in each week. in the
Grant County HERALD, weekly newspaper, printed at
Lancaster in said county, prior to said Day Of hearing
Dated February 7, 1e0s.364 County Judge
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1867-02-19

FACTS IN PHYsIoLoGY.-A man is
taller in the morning than at night
to the extent OF half an inch, ewing
to the relaxation of the cartilages.--
Ten days per annum is the average
sickness of human life. About the
age Of 80, the lean man generally be-
comes fatter, and the fat man leaner.
The pulse OF children is $50 in min.
ute; at puberty it is so; and at 60 it
is only 60. One pair Of pigs will in.
crease in six years 119, 100, taking the
increase at fourteen times per annum.
A pair of sheep in the same time
would increase only ga. A single
house-fy produces in one season TO-
D8O,326 eggs. The flea, grasshoppel
and locust jump 200 times their own
length equal to q quarter Of q mile
for man.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1867-02-19
ESTATE OF DIETRICH.
STATE OF WISCONSIN, ]

STATE OF WISCONSIN,,
GRANT COUNTY.
In Probate Grant County Court. January Term 1867.
Present VIM McGongal, Judge. In the m tier Of
the estate Of George DIETRICH, dsceased.
1t appearing the satisfaction of this court b the
petition of Nelson Dewey, Administrator of tn estate
Of George DIETRICH, late Grant county, deceased that
there is not sufficient personal estate in ne hands q
said administrator to pay the debts outstanding against
the said deceased and the expt
and that it is necessary to sell part of the real estate
the said deceased for the payment Of such debts and
expenses.
Ordered that all persons interested in aid real estate
appear before the Judge Of the County Court for said
county at his office in the village OF Lancaster, m said
county on the third Monday Of March, A. D., 1867 at
o'clock ofsad day toshow cause fnny they have
why license should not be granted to said Nelson Dewy
70 sell much of the estate OF said deceased
be necessary to pay such debts;
It is further ordered that notice Of said APPLICATION
terested in said estate by publishing copy of this
der for four g successfully prior t. said day OF
hearing in the Grant County HERALD, weekly newspa
printed at Lancaster in said county, and also SER
we'd on all persons interested in the county of Grant at
least fourteen days preyigu to said day q hearing
VIM McGONICAL,
County Judge
Dated January 3lst, 1s67.-35-4t.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1867-02-19
k@rTbe Schuylerville, Saratoa

8arTbe Schuylerville, Saratoga
county, Paper Company are now
running on large order for the
New York Tribune. They make, ev-
cry twenty-four hours, a sheet that
will reach twenty -one miles, or one
hundred and twenty six miles a
week, and when they get their new
machine in operation, will make a
sheet every twenty-four hours that
would reach forty-two miles, or two
hundred and fifty-two miles week
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1867-02-19


MAGNITUDE OF THE EARTH. The
circumference Of our globe is rs, 02O
miles, and SO stupendous circle may
be best comprehended by comparison.
For example railway train, travel
ing night and day, at the rate Of 30
miles an hour, would require six
weeks to go around it. The cubical
bulk of the earth is 260 900, 900, 900 of
cubic miles, and according to DR..
Lardner, if the material which com
pose it were built up in the form of a
column, having a pedestal of the mag
pitude Of England and Wales, the
height of the column would be nearly
four and half million Of million of
miles. A tunnel through the earth
from England to New Zealand would
be about eight thousand miles long.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1867-02-19

RE 1t is calculated that if the
earth was cannon ball, shot at the
sun from its present distance, with
the velocity it nov travels with, and
the moment Of explosion telegraphed
to the sun, they would get the tcle~
gram there in about five minutes, and
See the earth coming in eight min
utes. and would have nearly two
months to prepare for tho blow,
which they would receive aboHt If
teen years after they heard the origi-
nal explosion.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1867-02-19
GUARDIAN SALE.

IN Probates tzrant Count - cccc:rtt
In the matter of the real estate Of the minor heirs If
Lenhart o. Shrader, deceased.
Notice is hereby given, that by virtue and in pursu-
ance Of an order of license, made in said matter on the
said County, the undersigned Guardian Of Otho Shra
der, Kitty Shrader and Emma c. Shrader minor heirs
OF said deceased will Saturday the midday Of March,
at the Co thouse in the village Of Lancaster in said
county, oer for sale at public venue, the following
aforesaid, to wit st ~ y -
Threesevenths Of the half Of Northeast quarter
OF Section thirty in Town eight, Range one west,
in Grant county. Wisconsin. 5
place Of sale. ~
Dated at Lancaster, Wis, February 4th A. D. 1867
MARGARET d SHRADER,
So-at Guardian.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1867-02-19

s@- The Prescott journal sage there
is young lady in that town SO mod
est that she will not allow even the
Christian Observer to remain in her
room over night.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1867-02-19

STRIKING AND KICKING. A CORES
pondent relates this story Of himself;
perhaps it has taken place more than
once, but it is 4 good one
The experienced are aware that
there is no severer trial Of temper
than the milking of arefractory COW.
Such COW. BY refusing to stand
still, and by kicking over the milk
two OF three times, had vexed me SO
beyond all endurance that, procuring
good cudgel, and having got the
COW well cornered, I proceded to adj
minister most wrathful flCgging
My father that moment made his IN.
expected appearance, and suspended
the operation Of castigation BY say
ing, Harmon, my son, don't strike
that COW again never strike a COW
It never does them any good-nev-
err r
About a week after this my father
was doing the milking himself, and
the COW proved unusually trouble
some, as | inferred from loud sounds
in the direction Of the barn-yard.
Going to the spot, + arrived just in
time to see the COW in very close
corner Of the fence, and The boot of
my paternal relative administering
kicks Of the heavicstkind thick and
fast. "Father, "Ssaid |, very quietly.
Il thought you told me never to
strike cow" eyes, that is true, .
was the reply, while the punishment
continued with undated vigor, s'that
is true but did say anything about
kicking them? Striking does no
good, but kicking seems to curl 'em
right up.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1867-02-19
SHERIFF'S SALE.-GuLLIFoRD.
STATE or WISCONSIN,
County Of Grant.

John Gulliford. J
BY virtue Off writ of Execution issued out of the
Crc,it Court of Grant County, Wisconsin, in favor Of
Bradley Pitts Plaintiffs and against John Gulford
defendant directed and delivered and want OF
goods and chattes Of the said defendant whercon
levy, have, by direction of the Plaintiffs Attorney
eScd upon all the right title interest which the said
fendant had the 9th day Of August, 1862 h,ss
SAGE acquired in and to the following described
tate to witt
The east half Of the south east quarter Of Section %
ana the north east quarter of the northeast quarter
section y! all in Town I, Range g. west, in Graut
9th day Of March, A. D. 1867 at the hour of o'clock
= M, OF said day. offer for sale and will sell t. the
highest bidder for cash in hand the front door of the
Wisconsin 80, = M
Said sale will be MADE to satisfy the judgment, inter:
est and costs and costs atcruing
Dated Sheriff Office, Lancaster, Feb 18th 1867.
J. p. cox,
J. A. BARRIER, Sheriff.
Plaintiffs Attorney. -36-ts.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1867-02-19

nfA- Omaha Republican says that
Captain North has been authorized
to raise a battalion of Pawnce In
dians for service on the Plains, and
that be has commenced the work
with every prospect Of success.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1867-02-19
GE Charles Godfrey LELAND. r

GB Gn1rlcS NOQIrcy Leland, re-
Gently managing editor of1he Press,
was one of a party Of journalists and
Bohemians who went to shoot bnffa-
10 and see the Pacific railroad on
the western border of Kansas. Let
tiers describing the adventures of
the party have appeared from time
to time in the Ir5bN,ae and the Press,
containinga good deal Of information
but more fun. The last of the series
in the Press related the winding up
incidents Of the trip, one Of which
was a social supper, when Leland,
in the character of ssHans Ereitmann"
thus epitomized the events Of the
expedition
far He rided shost dre dousand miles all in one rail-
roat car He knowed focst-rate how far he goed-he
counted all de vi'e Dere Vas shoost polite Of
champagne, dat PQpgea ct every mile.
Hans Breitmann vent to Kansas dell YOU yot nv
poy. You bet dey hat puly dimes in crossin Ilinoy
Dey speaked dere Teak to all de folk shtandin in de
car; den ak dem in to take trink, and corned EN-
ganz and gar.
Hans Breitmann vent to Kansas by shngo dey did
it prown Ven he cot into Leafenvort he found him
s + in town Dey dined him at de Blanters House,
to eat, and dsoace as naooch to trink.
Hans Breitmann vent to Lansas he vent it on de
loud At lsyort, in de prairie land he foundt puly
crowd He looked for bleedn Kansas but OATS blay-
ed out 6ey say; de whisky kegs de only dings dat
Hans Brs itmann vent to Kansas, see vot he could
hear lac foundr SOON Deutschers dat exsdt by maxim
lager bier. Says he HE gents du AT GeseH but no
dngs could be heard dey growed fat in Kansas dat
dey couldd speak word.
Hans Breitmann vent to Kansas; py shings dell
you vot Won dey lie meet crisy bear dat rooshed
him down, bei Gottl Boot der Breitmann reason nit
der bear ind pleased him fiery muchfor efery verdi de
crsly growled cas goot Bardsian Dutch.
Hans Breitmann vent to Kansas by dunder dat is so
He rido out oopon de blans to shase de boofalo lie
fired his rifle at de boos und gallop troo de shmoke und
shoomp dc canyons shoost if der tyfel vas chke
Itshey de trail Sante Fe tits no agross de blaip
It's opr along de Denver road, until we toorn again
Und de railroad draveI after apout as quick as we
dis Kansas ish de fastest land ash efer did see
Hans Breitmann vent to Kansas he have pully dime
but twas in oldt Missouri dat dey roashed him up sub
lime. Dey took him to der Blot Mob und all de nobs
him to de ground. ~ -
Hans Breitmann vent to Kansas trqo all do earty
land yorkln opt LIES mission here so0byectitiy und
grand. Some beoblish de beautiful, some works
phiosophc der Breitmann collie de infnide ash Won
eternal shpree