Des Arc weekly citizen., 1867-05-11
SALMAGUNDI.

{
 Bar Spring fashions--less "change" in gentlemen's pants than last year.
 BS- A wife's farewell to her hus- band on going out--"Buy, buy"
 nIy- What is that which occurs twice ill moment, once in minute, and not once in hundred years? Letter M.
 Rss- The mayor of Western tewn proposes to kill half of the dogs in the place, and tan their hides with the bark of the other half.
 fss~ A lady, playfully condemnifig the wearing of whiskers and mustach- cs, declared: It is one. of the fashions l invariably set my face against
 nsg> A strange and fatal disease has broken out among the. sheep in some sections of Illinois. The microscope reveals the presence of parasites in the stomach.
 B- Vegetable pills. z, exclaimed al, old lady, "don't talk to me of such stuff. The best vegetable pill ever made is al, apple dumping. For destroying a gnawing of the stomach there's nothing like it."
 @Cihrlic, my dear, said loving mother to her hopeful son, just budded into brooches, '.comc here and get some candy"
 q guess I won't mind il now, moth CT" replied Charlie, i've got in some tobacco"
 D@sy~ The day is coming, says the New London Star, when, throughout the en- tire country, women shall be clothed with the elective franchise. Rather a thin costume, remarks the New Haven Register, and hard on dry goods dcal- CTS and hoop skirt manufacturers.
 A picture in a late number of Punch, represents a fashionable and affection ate couple, the husband searching wig orously in his waistcoat pockets. The young wife inquires, ss'IIave you lost your watch love?" And he replies,
 %No, uli iiHS 7, tN dS u ItW DUilHcl had for you somewhere
 gsS- Henry Cox, who. owns the land on both sides of Beast Buffers cele- bratcd ditch, the Dutch Gap Canal, has filled it mp by making road at the up- per end, in order to reudcr the island accessible. The Richmond authorities at one time proposed to improve the capal for pavigatiop, but they took no action, and, as the island was remarka- ply fertile land, the owner was unwill- ing to- lose. the use of it.
 Bay- A few Sabbaths since teacher of Sunday was engaged in questioning his pupils uponthe subjects connected with their previous study of the bible. At length, turning to a lad, he asked:
 "What did Adam loose by the fall?'
 For moment the boy was apparent ly in deep study; but at last his face frightened, and he exclaimed:
 ''1t was his hat, sir?"
 gs~ A young man, rather stirgy in the matter of household expenses, hay ing purchased watch, placed it on his fob, and strutting across the floor, said to his wife, .,
 "Where shall drive nail to hang my watch upon, that it will not be dis turbed or broken?n9
 q don't know of safer place." re- piled his wife, "than in our meat barrel. I'm sure no one will think of fgoinc there to disturb it.'
 g9- 'Now gals, said Mrs. Burlington the other day, to her nieces, "you must get husbands as soon as possible, or they'll be murdered.
 "Why so aunt? ?"
 'why, see by the papers that we've got almost fifteen thousand post offices and nearly all on 'em dispatches mail every day. The Lord have mercy on us poor widows" and the old lady stepped to the looking-glass to adjust her new cap.
 Dss- A man of singular minute obser- vations once said to me:
 T have noticed that young ladies go through three stages of feeling with re- gard to matrimony. When they first grow up and come out into society, they of course consider it the end and aim of existence, but in year or two they become indifferent. and lose all care fer it; but as they grow to be about twenty-five and so on, their old anxiety returns stronger than eyer."- Emily Chester
 s1r A sclf-shfflcient humbug, who took up the position of a physician and prctended to have knowledge of the art, was onco called to visit man who was afflicted with apoplexy. Bolus gazed long and hard, felt his pulse, and finally gave the following sublime opinion:l 4
 T think he's gone feller.'
 No, mol" exclaimed the sorrowful wife, do not say that"
 "Yes," returned Bolus, lifting up his his hat and eyes heavcnward, at the same time, 'ssycs, 1 do say so; there is no hope-not the least mite. He's got an attack of nihil fit in his lost frontis.o
 "Where ?" cried the startled wife.
 ssIn his lost frontis; and can't be re- Iieved without some trouble and great t AF.4f II Heal of pains. You see the whole plan stary system is derangcd. Firstly, his is pressing op his adyalo-