Bloomsburg democrat. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1867-1869, 1867-10-02
DEAD BROKE.
ny THE "rAT CONTRIBUTOR. "

to mutter to. We felt constrained to asl
him what he was doing. 90 "
"IIaint doin' nothin'" was the reply.
""Wherc do you bclong"', W. e.
"Don't b'long nowhere, and nowhcr'
don't b'long to me" r '"a D.
"Who are you?" .u. .,n.,s
"I'm Broke" -,,. .,,.,... ...s.. ,.,t
swell, suppose you are broke, you've 60
q name, haven you2 What is it?'
81 tcllye I'm Brokc-Dead Broke--that''
my name, and that $ my natur. My father
was broke before me. II he hadn't been,
wouldn't be Broke now-at least, not st
bad. My mother was Pcasclcy, but she
vented husband and she got Broke-that''
my dad-and Broke got me. I've beer
Broke ever since"
For few moments the unhappy D. Broke
buried his face in his hands, and seemed
lost in the most dolelul reflections. Ther
raising his head, lie exclaimed bitterly;
81 wish | had been born colt"
"Why do you wish you had been born q
colt ?"
"Becausc a colt aint broke until he is two
or three years old. l was Broke the mo.
mcut | saw the light, and never got over it.
1t is hard to be broke so young"
"llow did your parents come to call you
Dead Brokc?"
"Wcll, yc see, as soon ms was born some
thing seemed to tell me that | had got ia
be Broke all my life unless could get my
name changed by act of Legislature, and
that you know would be an impossibility."
"How an impossibility?'
care you such block as to suppose
that man can get anything through the
Legislature when he is Jroke p
"You are right. Go on"
..When the conviction forced itself upon
my infant brain, confused as it was by re-
cent experiences, that | must be broke all
my life, | iclt that there was nothing left to
live for, and lost all consciousness ut once.
II have found only part Of it since.) 'IIc
is dead cried my mother, wringing her
hands. Yes, groancl my father, dead
broke revived alas But Dead Broke
became my name, and I have been dead
broke ever since. My name has been iata!
to me all through life. The smallest boy in
school always broke me in playing marbles.
| broke more windows than any other boy
in base ball. always broke down at reci-
tation, and had my head broke every day
by the schoo!mastcr WhcnsI left school I
went to clerk it for a broker. One day
there was heavy deficit in the accounts. ]
was afraid that he might think that / had
something to do with it, 50 II broke.
They caught me though, aud put ne in
jail; but | broke out"
"Out of iail?'
"No, broke out with the small pox."
"What did you do ncyt?"
"Attcr the court had disposed of my
case l was allowed to go into the brokerage
business again" .. ft
''lIow was that p
II Jrohe stone in the pcnitcntiary-dog
on il, After | got out broke everything.
l broke my promise, broke the Sabbath,
and broke the pledge"
"Werc you ever marricd?'
"Ycs (sighing deeply, matrimony broke
me up worse than anything else. My wife
was regular ripper. She broke up my
furniture and the dishes, nearly broke my
back with flat-iron, and finally broke my
heart" a.... .....
by running away?' .. -r.I
mo, indeed, by sticking to me-"
"You have had u hard time Of it?'
"All owing to my name. But bad as l
dislike it, it's mine ! came by it honestly.
You wouldn't think anybody else would
want to be in my place, would ye? but there
are thousands Of impostors all over the
country trying to pass themselves off for
me-"
'1n what way p
"When they tell their creditors that they
are Dead Broke.''' .....
There was another pause, during which
the unhappy possessor Of an unfortunate
name could be heard to sob. At length he
broke out ,...... ...I
1T will be simple and fitting inscription
for my tombstone, though"
"What ?" .... -.........
dead Broke"