The Portland daily press., 1867-09-20
Miscellany
The Biiifngsviile Agricultural Fair.
BY JOSH BIIIJNGs gs.fssr-I. 4.

BY JOSH BILLINGS. 0sfss.I q
Agriculture is the mother oy provisions:
she is also the grandmother. -fi4 ..
LII IL want for agricultur, thar would not be
eny peans, and il it want for eny BEANS there
wouldn't be eny suckeitash. ....
Agrlcultur wus fusC discovered by Cain, and
has since been discovered to be an honest way
to get very hard living.
. pumpkins owes awl her success tew agri-
cultur, and so does lettuce and buckwheat.
The Billingsvile Agricultural Society OPEN
ed Sept. ten, and was a powerful success 20
The receipts of the Agricultural Fair was
upwards ov $4,000 iii memory serves me
rite, and [ think she does.) h'h
The Hon. Virgil Bickerstoff, the next acri-
cultural Member ov Congress from our dis
trict, sold the agricultural poles. =.
FUsT DAY.
puss of ten dollars was trotted for nv
sucking colts, that had never trotted before
for money. +-i ,,-7'0...- - :
There waz thirteen entry. r li.A.
There waz 10000 people on the track to
witness this race (if mi memory serves me
rite, and think she duz.)
The puss was won, and vociferous excla-
nations, by red colt, and the waving oy
handkerchief, with a stripe i'm his face. and
the fainting of several ftlst-class females. and
one white foot behind.
sEKUND DAY.
IL rained like perpendicular awl day and
no trotting could be had so the audiences awI
went hum, cussin and swearing and offer
ing tew bet four to six on the Pete Tucker
colt. .s.-...
THUD DAY.
The SUE histed up in the east more butful-
Ter than / ever saw her before (ifmy memory
serves me rite, and think she duz.j
1t was ftistrate day for agricultur, or emmy
other man. $3.50 s,1
A puss Of $50 was trotted for, by sum Q
year old colts. f... 80,
The race did not much attract much atten-
ton, on account ov the time being so SLOW.
Time, 2 minutes and thirty-eight sekonds.
Eas FOURTH DAY. 80,
This waz tor 3 or years old, who hadn't
never beat 2:25. 787 t''~0i' !
There waz 20 entrys; tina kudn't awl trot 2
once, so tina took turns. a5s-l 15f "a =.
This race wuz wur, aphter bitter contest,
by Pete fuckers colt. 7I ~
lie was Immediately offered thousand dol
lars and fustrate farm, which was well
stocked, for the colt, by three different agri-
cultural men, but with great deal of indig-
nant good sense, he skorned to stoop 50 low.
Pete Tucker and his whole family are awl
boss. ~ -
1t rained again harder than ever and the
day was spent in betting on the wait ov boss
eS.
Thare were several good horse swaps also
made.
One man swOpped two horses for one; this
struck me as bully good thing, but every
body else said it was soft.
At the end of the fifth day come away.
got so full ov boss that ever since when
laff kant keep from whinnering.
The fare was kept up 10 days, and some red
hot time was made
think minits and 10 seconds was made
tif my memory serves me rite, and | think
she duz.) ~ ~ ,'''''-r'
forgot to say that there was tew woke of
oxen Oh the ground, besides several yokes ov
sneep, and pile ov carrots, and some worst
ed work, but they didn't seem to attract emmy
sympathy. =. "
The people banker fore pure agricultural
boss trots.