davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1867-03-16
ITE MS.

"Bubby, why d'a't you 90 home and have
your mother sew up that hole in your trow.
sers p "Ob, 90 along old woman, our 70 ks
are at the sewing circle, working for tho
heathen."
The penalty for walking on a railroad
track in England is ten pounds" said one
while discussing The numerous fatal acci-
dents on a railroad. "Pooh.' replied Uncle
Jerry, "is that all! The penalty in thia
country is DEATH
An enraeed parent had jerked his provo.
king son across his knee, aud was operating
on the exposed portion of tho urchins per.
son with great vehemence, when the young
one dug into the parental legs with bis VEN
omous little teeth. "Blazes! what are you
biting me for7' "Wcll, dad, you begiau'd
this here war"
An exchange in speaking Of the magical
strains Of a handorgan, says: "When he
played Od Dog Tray we noticed eleven
purls sitting in front Of the machine on their
launches brushing the tears from their eyes
with their paws"
A man who had been putting too much
water i'll his whisky at one of our hotels, felt
a nausea, aud stepped on the sidewalk to
cast up his accounts. He retched violently,
but was unable to discharge cargo. A by
~.ander suggested that if be should put his
finger down his throat it would facilitate
matters. The sufferer turned upon the off.
cous medd,er lock of drunken dignity,
.ayirg, % f l sh -sh 'dnt likcterkuow
whs'r your Izo tossin this puks7
"Tm glad his Gee don't owe me any
thing" said book keeper to bis wife one
morning st breakfast. why - asked che.
"Hec"use dcn't believe it would ever SETTLE"
You can do anything, If you only have
pativn e to wait,' said al old fogy to his son.
"Wa'er may be carried in seive, if you can
wait How oug?" inquired the son, an
im2ud3nt young American. who could hard
y wait fer the fathers obituary. It'll it
freezes'
Nader colors red. This is the reason
why the maller you get, the redder you
grow.
1t eftca chances when a husband fails to
be home to dinner, that it is one of his fast
days
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1867-03-16

The MAN WITHOUT AN ENEMY Heaven
help the man who imag,ncs be can dods se
enemies by toying TO please everybody
Ii such ,an individual ever succeeded we
.hANla be- glad s. kaox j.. =, Nuss;ha:~ We ,bs,-
lieve in mans going through the world
trying to find beams to knock his bead
against; d'spaiins every mans opinion
lighting aud sIbowing and erow6ing all VIII
differ with him. That again, is another ex,
treme. Other people nave rgL, to thei,
opinions so have YOU; don, fall into the
error OF suprasias they will respect you les,
tor ma,n'aining them OR respect you more
tor turaing your coat every day to match
the color CT sheifs. Wear yonr own coIors
spite OF wind aud weath,r, storsls and sun.
shins. 1t coats the vAsciliatIng aud irreso-
lutte ten times the trouble to wind and shuttle
and twist, that It does honest, manly indie.
psndsnes to stand its ground. Take wha,
time you pIease to make up your mind; bu'
having rsde it up, stick to it.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1867-03-16

tn, late attack in the North American
Rvv.ow uron Daniel Webster, b. Parton. the
panesyrist of Ben Butler, provokes Prentice
of the Louisville Journal, to the following
Giq"ant !aragraph:
When Webster was alive the North Ameri
can Review lion;zed him nov when he is .
dead lion, i. turns round and kicks him
There is 10. only q good deal Of human
nature in man, but \ goo deal Of an ne
nature in human nature; PARTICULAR in tho
human na ure Of Mort, Ar eriean Re-
viewer Massachusetts, has long been
very degenerate st,te, and she has at least
become rs irreverent as she is degenerate. ---
She has more dead lions aud mere live jack :
asses than any other member Of the Union
and every one Of the latter is hnsing bis
heels NJ some one Of the former.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1867-03-16
s. Beware Of PickPockets."
4 RAILROAD STORY.

Beware of pick pockets. Jo.hua," said
Joshua Hs.kers mother to her grown up
sou, when that interesting youth v.s sbou,
starting to visit his suat Bessey Baker, vho
lived seventy Eve miles ID, n the village Of
Gray burg
"Ies ~,' responded Joshua, du,ifully.-
"Til keep my eyes peeled for I'm. Guess il
they kesch this child mapping, they'I rise
earlier than hey 70 used to-
"That's right, my lad l alters tnow'd you
was the 'mar,est Of the family, Joshua, bu,
l guess when you come to 70 about aud see
things you II turn out suarteru ever hot
There's the keers comm nov. Look out
and hold fast to yonr vAlise. And don,
forget to be careful Of your fathers watch,
and don't smoke no cigars, nor drink .no
water without iookiu' N il, ksse there Was /.
Woman, I've hesru s,s,cs Bs,.ay tell ai.os.,
o., there, driukt live snskei And do try
aud not dirt NOR . two dickies a week, it II
make it such hard washin' for your aunt,
aud shes got the rumatiz, you know! Nov
look out for your pocket book! Tell 3etsey
to send me that rece,e for coloru3 blue, and
mskin that ounce ssss-snd-lordy! here
'ney bsr and With kiss that made the
very locomotive give = snort Of amaze men,,
Mrs. Harksr tore herself away
Joshua seated himself in the very middle
Of the car-he had heard i said that there
Vas less danger there, and, holding bis valise
in his lap, he put one haud on bis watch and
the other on bis pocket book, and mentally
de6td pickpoeksss. He had heard 90 much
OF their dreadful doing. in the cars, that hs
,heogbt it impossible 70 use too much pre-
caution. @E -...
At he next station they took on q rather
pretty but decidedly nervous young lady, in
a blue banne. and pink dress She p.used
beside Joshua snd asked ,imidIy-
rs this seat .ngas'd1"
mo, not that l know Of stammered
Joshua, blushing up to his hair. "W.n. to
set down I" -s~@a
"Thank you,' and she -. down 90 grace
fully that her expansive Grin olius spread en-
t'rely over 10 hua's knees and vAlise, and
completely envelopsd our hero in an avail.
anche Of aounces, shawl frinses, &c.
Both Of the young people seemed very
much frightened. Joshua began 10 6nge,
his pocket book nervously, shifting i, from
his pocket to his coat, from thence to hi,
vest, and finally depo sitting il in bis hat
wishing .. the same time that be could dror
it in his boot. t.,,.. .l......p.,
The young lady Gdeetel, and eyed hs,
compsoion askance-pulling her bonns,
s'ri' g., and clutchod tightly the handl. O.
her re'icule. But after little while be,t
seemed = gas easier, and Joshua screwed. u,
courage 70 say something. r'..-s F.
"Fine day, marm.' Z"
"issi rather cool though" ... .....s
"That's fact Cooler THAI il was yss.
tsrday." hs av@ va. NJ e9tea ,#at /,
"Yss 'ir, but not 30 cool - Il was las,
WINTER"
mo, sirss Terrible cold Friday last win.
ter, wasn't there p
Awful was you ont any I"
"Oat! | rather gssss vas ont in q
spruce swamp drivin' old Buck and Broad oil
dsy ! 0oIly, how ths frost stood oa 'sn.'
4Yss, ltAiok's likely"
dead silence AZ lass, With ! dsspsras,
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1867-03-16

If "all tho worlds = STAGE who is the
drivsr3 The propounder Of this query is
only excussblc because the quotstioa Is hack.
neyed. ....@ #.. d.
-'" A bill posted on the walls in . country
village announeed that - iree lecture will
be delivered in The open air, and collection
nads a the door 70 defray sxpsass&"
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1867-03-16

~ MILES o'KILEY,

John Morrissey. my 10. John,
Whea first ! kennsd ye weel,
Yer sirms like twa iron fails,
Your hands like slugs o steel;
But now ye've gathered pelf, John,
An to Congress ye maun go,
Where they fight less fairly than yourself
John Morrissey, my Jo'
John Morrissey, my Jo. John,
Wi braid and monty breast,
Ye hae faced na mony mon, John,
To try what mon was best;
There were tough knocks fairly dealt John,
But to Congress now ye go,
Where they gouge and strike below the belt,
John Morrissey, my Jo!
John Nerrissey my Jo John,
We hae played an drank togither,
An fu' mony tiger fight, John,
We hae had vi ane anthcr;
Oh, at cheatn still you Knocked, John,
hut to Congress now ye go,
Wherethe dice coggel and the cards arc stock
John Morrssey, my 10!
John Morrissey, my Jo John,
WI grief our hearts are stirred
For still to friend an foe, John.
Ye'er bond was aye your word;
But fear ye'll learn to lie, John,
When to Congress now ye 90
For twad tax saint to resist the taint,
John Mo"rssey, my 10!
John Aorrssey, my 10. John.
On yer good pluck ye relied,
An against pitted foe, John,
Tho "hocussing game ye tred
But yen find 1t "hocus'' all John,
When to Congress now ye 90,
An We fear frae yer high stand yen fall,
John Morrissey, my Jo!
John Morrissey, my Jo John,
These politicians deal
From faro box false bottomed,
Wi springs of patent steal; y
Will yer scruples never melt John,
When to Congress now yc 60.
Can ye deal the same sqnare game ye dealt,
John Morrissey, my DO!
John Morrissey, my 10. John,
1t ne'er was kenned yer plan
To kick a fallen foe, ;Johs,
Or spurn helpless man.
But ven nnd different rule john
When to Congress ye go
For they kick the South, having gagged its mouth
John Morrissey, my Jo
John Morrissey, my Jo John,
My heart in terror beats,
For we've got unco company
gang o patent cheats
Ye has fought and gambled fair, John,
But to Congress now ye 60,
An fear they may corrupt ye there,
John Morrissey, my 10!
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1867-03-16


The dialect Of most young ladies divides
all things into two ciasses--ths horrid and
tho splendid. s.-f '1'*" fsE','ad
Punch offers ssntinen.:i '"May the tear
'sf ssnsiblisy be wiped away by the poke.
hAndksschisf Of common ssuss." = Hf@
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1867-03-16

Sensr Romero, the Mexican minister, is
about 10 marry Mrs. Saekstt, Of Washington.
Gen. Neal Dow, Of Maine Law celebrity, 10
said 10 bs il very delicate heath
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1867-03-16

- The new perfume. "Opoponax" for
the handkerchief, only to bs found ss Ken.
4 HOward's. E.a I'm
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1867-03-16

~ Dtsp ID !. Kent 4 Howard's and zee
The 9icsst as.or'msnt Of fancy and .oils,
articles TO Be found in the northwest. In
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1867-03-16

- A few barrels Of very fine Cranber-
ries, Just received al Kent 4 Howsrd's new
Drug Store. IF..s a,ss a.asH sstf In Il
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1867-03-16

- Aalsby's Oysters received fresh svs.
'y1a1, q .Ksat = uoOas1e, L.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1867-03-16

.fY + .... +. nv A1O6s
mo J. B. GREENWAY-Sir: You are
J hereby notified that there is now on 6!e
IN the Office Of the Clerk Of The rDistric,
Court OF Woodbury. County, Isvs, the petit
tion OF II. b. Boegs 4 Co, claiming Of you
the ssm Of nine'y-,hrss d"lisrs and forty.
three cents ~ ~ 'ney justly due the said H.
ID. BooGs / Go. from you On, account Of
goods sold s"d delivered you BY the said II.
ID. Booge h Co.; ard also. On account of
goods sold you by c. + Hedges, which claim
Fir goods sold you, the said Hedges has sold
and assigned to the said II ID. B,oge 4 CO.,
for valusbIe consider.,ion. Said petition
further asks for . writ Of attachme n, against
your property which has been issued ~'
Now unless you appear and def.nd to
said petition before nson Of the second dsy
Of the next term Of the District Court to be
begun and holden 1t Sioux City, within ard
for the county If Woodbury.. State Of Iva,
On the third Monday OF April, A. D. 1867. A
default will te entered against you and judy-
ment rendered thereon for The full amoun,
claift,ed, together with iuteres. and costs OF
suit .tS# .'" s"s"# ."4 "
Dated at Sioux City, Iowa, November
3O.h, 1866. - ]@~ .. "4"t>@a .0tt ~
'ET u i l@t JOHN cURRIER, @t~
mar2l4~ =" Attorney for Plaintiffs.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1867-03-16

r. D. wEARE / co.
Chicago, ILL.,, May l, iSGs-ly~
Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1867-11-21
Paying the National Debt In
Greenbaclks.


A resolution has been passed by the
Council of Cincinnati requesting their
Senators and Congressman in Washington
to protest against any further contraction
of the currency, and also to advocate the
payment of the bonds-except those for
which the National faith is pledged for re-
demption in gold-soith ::greenbacks.. The
resolution, which passed by vote OF twen-
ty-two to eightis to be forwarded to Wash
ington. Abiding to the above the Cincin-
natl Enquirer says:
"a large majority of the members of the
CITY Council have been converted to the
popular idea of redeeming the bonds in
greenbacks. A resolution was carried yes
terday advising our representatives., Con-
gress to vote for such measure, merely re-
serving for the payment in coin such bonds
as the national faith stands for redemption
Herewith, which, of course, refers to the
five per cent. ten-fOrties. Time works
wonders, but in this instance it has taken
a remarkably short period for conversion
to the true doctrine. Quelch the National
banks and relieve the money pressure and
pay off the National debt at the same time.
The twenty-five members of Council who
voted yesterday in favor of this program
me have taken the popular side. and the
few who are opposed will find that they
may as well attempt to dam up the Missis-
| sippi as Withstand the will of the people"
As there is a decided Radical majority in
the City Council of Cincinnati, the passage
of this resolution is one of the signs that the
Republican party cannot hold its members
together.in their efforts to increase the in
debtedness by adding one-third to its
amount, by paying it in gold.
Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1867-11-21
Some of the Things Settled by lhe
.-r-. -t-1F Elections.


srar E-1E Elections.
The Cleveland Leader (RadicaD don'i
look upon Impeachment now with favor
1t says:
"The recent elections have killed the
Impeachment proposition, and we venture
to predict that the whole Impeachment
movement will be thrown aside before
Congress has been in session a week."
Then President JOHNSON, after all. has
| triumphed over the Radicals in the matter
of Impeachment CoLFAx gave notice
during the campaign in Ohio that one ol
the very first things they should do after
the reassembiing of Congress, would be to
proceed with the Impeachment of the
President. In every conceivable form Of
emphasis, he was denounced a 'Traitor.'
If he is "Traitor,". why don't they pro-
coed with Impeachment? Or did they lie
deliberately and maliciously, in hopes that
such lying would help give them victory
in the late elections
Another thing the election appears te
have settled in the estimation of the Leader
The Leader thus states it.:
"There is general feeling that the policy
toward Southern rebels should be concilia-
tory and kiDd-that in enfranchising the
blacks we have done all that is necessary
to protect them aud to guarantee the coun-
try against new rebellion. Here we de-
sire to stop, and no fanatic shall tempt US
into any plans for punishment and disor-
ganization." +..s,.,..-.-.. .....e.
Very humanizing have been the effects
If the election. We are glad to see the
Leader taking so sensible view of the
will of the people as pronounced through
the ballot-box. e-.
Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1867-11-21
WAsH1NGroN letter.writers report, ON

WASHINGTON letter-writers report, on
the ubject of revenue frauds, that care
full estimate by one of the most experienced
revenue collectors in the service shows that
one hundred millions of tax due under the
present law will be lost to the Government
during this fiscal year, and that while
many of the present appcintees remain in
Office no laws can be made stringent enough
to stop the fraud. One of the measures
that will be proposed to Congress is to pro-
hibit the manufacture of whisky from mo-
lasses. This will, it is said, break up all
the small illicit stills, and give the monop-
oily to the large establishments, which can
be more easily watched.
The better plan would be to so reduce
the tax as to make it no objec. in manufac-
turers to bribe officials so as 20 get their
connivance in defrauding the revenue. A
tax on whisky, one-fourth in amount less
than the present one, would surely increase
the revenue.
Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1867-11-21

A "PRoPosITIoN TO ENRICH ScoUNDREL-
IsM''-Among the causes for their defeat,
which the majority of the Republican press
are making recital of, is the confiscation
scheme, which the Ne,oark Advertiser. Re-
publican journal, calls ga proposition to en-
rich scoundrelism" in the party. They re-
fer also, of course, to the mischief caused
by the impeachment movement; by the
attempt to regulate the morals of man
kind by legislative enactments; and simil-
lar questions, which they now look upon as
great evils; but on no subject do they put
it stronger or with more truth than the Ad-
uertiser does in reference to confiscation.
Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1867-11-21
Abate the Nuisance.

The Cleveland Plain Dealer wants MANS
FIELD, the so-called Commissioner of Sta
tistics, obliterared, because he is an old
Treasury leech, who neglects his business
to abuse Democrats. ..- F..
The Constitution says that the Office of
Commissioner shall be attached to the Sec
retary of States Office, meaning thereby
that he shall be clerk in that Office. MANS
FIELD never visits the State House except
to draw his pay, and his returns of statis-
tics is the merest sham and of no use to
any one. He is the grandest of humbugs,
and as nuisance, ought to be abated.
Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1867-11-21

THE New York State Constitutional Con.
vention has recommended its deliberation:
at Albany. The New York papers are anx-
ious to know whether the Convention will
do anything more than it did at its very
long previous session, the result of which
they sum up in the woodworking. 1t ap-
pears that at a caucus the majority of the
Convention resolved to go on with its work
most natural resolve, since each individ-
ual in the caucus gets six dollars day for
his services.
Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1867-11-21
"Peace Ham Her Trfumpss >,

We congratulate Col. Pike. of the Hills.
boro Gazette, and Walter G. Hood, ESQ.,, o.
the Marietta Tines-two of the most deserv-
ing editors of the Ohio corps-upon the
fact that their papers hereafter are to be
the ''official organs" respectively, of High.
land and Washington counties. That is tc
say, they are to enjoy the profits of the
county printing. A heavy per cent. is thus
added to the value of their offices, and a
handsome aggregate to their yearly cash
receipts. These are but two Ito us espe.
instances t6roughout the State. wherein in
similar transfers of dignity and emolument
were made from Radical to Democratic
journals by the October elections.-Logan
Gazette.
We unite our congratulations with those
of the LOGAN Gazette.
Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1867-11-21

A WASHINGTON letter writer observes !:
Members of Congress have arrived in con-
siderable numbers, and members OF the
"Third House," the lobby, have also come
in tolerably large force. The principal
feature of the third house legislation, in
which large sums of money are invested,
is the prevention of the passage of an act
of Congress to reduce the tax on whisky.
The whisky distillers having reduced to a
science their plans for evading the tax,
they fear any legislation which shall dis
turb the system as it exists under the pres
ent law.
Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1867-11-21

The Charleston Mercury suggests reason
why the Southern emigrants to Brazil and
elsewhere have failed. 1t says that gen.
orally the act of emigrating implies enter
prise, firmness, fortitude and courage. 1t
is Just the reverse with the Southern men
who have abandoned their country in dis
gust since the war. They have done so
"because they lack the firmness, tortitude,
courage and enterprise necessary to endure
and cope with their untoward circum-
stances" Such people generally fail any
where, and under the circumstances the
country can well spare them.
Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1867-11-21

TIE repeal of the internal revenue tax
of 21a cents pound on cotton is being gen.
orally demanded in all parts of the country.
Resolutions asking congress for the repeal
have passed the Tennessee State Senate; and
memorials to that effect have been adopted
by the Chambers of Commerce of New York
and Cincinnati, and the Boston Board of
Trade. 1t is claimed that the Government
gets scarcely any revenue from this tax, as
the cost of collecting it eats up nearly all the
money it produces.
Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1867-11-21
Congre.s NIee,s To-Day.

The adjourned session of Congress meets
to-day. This body did not adjourn to
meet for any good purpose. The first busi-
ness, in order lis the consideration of the
Impeachment of the President, or the re-
ception of the reports of the Committees
which have that subject in charge. AS the
elections did not result satisfactorily to the
Radicals, Congress will undoubtedly make
short work of this ioolishness. FIVE could
hope for legislation calculated to benefit
the White people, instead of exclusively
for the Blacks, there would be cause to be
glad that Congress meets to day; but in
asmuch as there is no foundation on which
to base such hope, its reassembling is to
be regretted.
Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1867-11-21
A NOderate.

BRICK PoMERoY has delivered a dis
course on " Moderate Democrats" j" in which
he arrives at the conclusion, that " moder-
ate Democrat is three-tourths Republican"
Grant it. Then "moderate" Republican
must be a three-fourths" Democrat. just
now there are great many of this sort.
Can there be any harm in making the eff
fort to cause them to become four-fourths
Democrats