The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1867-10-30

tart a temper and spoke as uncivilly as Lady
Beatrice" herself and to those who supposed
she meant what she said there seemed
little enough likelihood of her ever marrying
"Benedick." She swore she hated traitors, and
would sooner shoot a Copperhead than kiss
one; that Democrats were not to be trusted,
and that in her eye they were little better
than Rebels; with a good many more hot and
testy words of the same sort; so that she
seemed to be possessed with sort of fury,
and the Democratic party, turning his quid
disconsolately in his mouth and squirting
tobacco juice abstraotedly over the beautys
floor, left her with heavy heart, and cursed
the day that ever he tried to marry a shrew.
Turning at the door for last look at the fair
termagant what was his delight to see her tip
him an unmistakable wink from under her
fan, whereupOn he gave a great gulp and
swallowed his grief, took a fresh quid, and
swore a round oath or two to himself by way
of thanksgiving, and splitting right and left,
like very llama, as is the way of happy
Democrats, he left the house to await further
developments.
There were not wanting sharp-eyed people
who even saw the wink which the Presiden-
tial shrew gave the Democrats at their first
meeting, but nobody could be so blind as not
TO see the progress of the courtship. No day
passed without billet-doux, which were Sc
cretly let down from the windows by strings
to where our Democratic friend was always in
wait, messages were sent him by telegraph,
and it was not long before the lady began to
turn out of her employ all her old servants,
even those who had brought her up and taken
care of her from childhood, and put her new
lovers friends and relatives in their places.
She gave them the keys of all the cupboards,
told them to help themselves to whatever they
wanted and to send the bill in to her uncle,
| and in every way she could manifested her
| desire to be on with the new love no matter
what became of the old.
Everybody saw what was going on and
| laughed in his sleeve at it, though the opinion
| was general that the match was a bad one for
| both parties. But what surprised every one
was that each of the engaged ones seemed
ashamed of the business, and replied to all
questions with positive denials. The gentle
| man (by which, as we are speaking allegor-
| cally, we may explain, we mean the Demo-
| crats) denied the insinuation with derisive
| ieers, and even went the extreme length of
! uttering slurs upon the lady's character which,
! indeed, was no better than it should be; but
| the lady cursed and swOre like Queen Eliza
beth, and vowed vengeance on any friend of
| hers who should even so much as hint that a
| person OF her dignity and her position would
| ever stoOp to such a connection. However, it
was not long after this when the two went off
ON a long journey together at her uncle's ex-
| pense, and as the lady took her staff of ser
wants with her, and plenty of liquor and
| cigars, to say nothing of sandwiches, it may
easily be imagined that the courtship didn't
| flag, and in truth the evidences of mutual
| affection were so strong that very many per-
| sons in the country they went through insisted
on believing the gentleman and lady man and
| wife, and congratulated, or commiserated
! them accordingly. But for all that they evil
| IDENTIFY loved one another to distraction, it
| seemed they could not bear to have it thought
so, and they have gone on denying it with a
| shameless persstency from that day to this.
The last ludicrous evidence of their blind
perversity is only few days old. Benedick,
who for several years past has been out OF
business in consequence of being found out in
some of his nefarious doings, received letter
quite unexpectedly, telling him that an old
gentleman in Pennsylvania, whom he had
supposed dead and buried, had still little
breath in his body, and had had, as paralytios
and bed-ridden people are WON'T little rally
ing of the vital forces just before dissolution.
In this brief interval he had expressed wish
to send a message to his old friend Benedick,
and to show that he still remembered him,
enclosed him few scraps of mutilated cur
rency, which he hoped he might be able to get
little comfort out of.
1t is quite incl edible the state of excitement
our friend was thrown into by this little god
send. Seizing an old banjo from its dusty
corner, and arming few of his frienda with
whatever bagpipe or fife they could lay hands
on, he smartened himself up, put on a
clean dickey, washed his face, took several
drinks, and was about 70 set out for the White
House, the name of Beatrice's country seat,
a I'd give her a serenade, when it suddenly oc-
CURED to him that such a proceeding would
let the cat of his engagement out f the bag
of secrecy. If, said he, | sing under her bal
cOny, what will people think; will they Ut be
certain that love her. and sure that am tC
marry her And am | prepared to sacrifice my
possible future fortunes by avowing such g
low connection My friends think hard of me
as it Isl but If | were to marry Miss Johnson
There is another old gentleman in New York
and still another in Massachusetts,. think
they are both dead, but, who knows And i
they should be alive and hear that had eve
so much as thought of introducing this de
mirep into their houses as my wife, wha
would become of my hopes Farewell, for
ever, to the successionl
So saying, the dirty little man put up hi
banjo in the corner with a rueful face, an
taking out of his pocket portrait of his ina
moTata which he had clipped from the Polio
Gazette, he looked at it long with wistful eye;
then gave a squirt expressive of having mad
up his mind to conceal his love little longer
and turned into bed.
The Division Of RacsS-WhO are Respon
stble!
From he ". Y. Times.
The Virginia election is made the occasio
of rnuch strono WRITING On tho ra1 ations of ~,