The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1867-05-01
a Literary Couple.

Weekly Dolphin; !" sandwiching book
here and there, in the intervals, as my Celtic
cook and Penfeather's shirt buttons permit
Ny Gift was inherited-my father was an
editor came into the world wrapped in a
proof-sheet. When | was no taller than an
editors table, I used to paste newspapers in
their enveops for the mail. When proof
readers were scarce, read the proofs. Older,
when contributors were wanting, or exorbtant
in their demands, furnished articles. When
letters or MSS. Of awful chirography came,
translated the heathenish characters. With
the eye of an eagle, ran over pile of cx-
changes as high as my head, and bounced
upon anything that concerned "our office. "
| mention these little items, to show you my
qualifications for literary mans wife. Also,
that you may understand why did not, when
| married, bury myself in Penfeather's shirt
fronts, or crush myself under his household
gridiron. On the contrary, | remarked to
him on our wedding day, "Penfeather, al
though matrimonially we are enc, }iterarily
we are two. Marrying me, you didn't marry
my pen. That is going to wag on in single
bIessedness Your divine aff1aus is one thing ;
mine is another" This was agreed upon in
that halcyon hour
Put YOU know what man is. and what his
promises are. If you don't, hope you never
may. 1t was not long before Penteather came
nosug round my writing desk, which, trust
10 goodness, is not so dusty as he insists on
keeping his and peepiny over my conjuga
shoulder which you will agree was treating
ME more like wife than an individual, re-
4, 7 r;,b ,rn,li
out that sentence;" pointing to my most cher,
shed idea, with his inky forrfngcr. :" don't
agree with you at alI.' "WeII," replied 1.
Il didn't expect you would when l wrote it i;
but what of that?" Only, that if you
can't leave it out. I wish you would put it
it will ruin your article"
Penfeather," said l, rising and sitting
down on his lap, to make sure of him till l
got through. @ Penfeather. have you forgot
ten our agreement? And do you recoIlect a
day or two since, when in your Indian
Chronicle article, you were running your
reckless pen tilt against your bread and butter,
and | reminded you Of that and that Enn
would bring hornets nest about your ears
from the faithful beside, did you obIIterate a
single pen-track ? Not a bit of it. Il stood
All TIC StilS us !! itttI ilot oEobfit' A'Oh
that's just whatl'm going to do. And when
the storm comes | shall stand and take it like
q woman and you need not consider it neces-
sary to be on hand with your umbrella
Whereat Penfeather shook his head, which
he combs once week with his five fingers,
and went back to his pen and his pipe for
solace.
Thank goodness, my Inspiration is not de-
rived from tobacco No. Coffee both smells
and tastes better You may know the window
Of my room by the morning papers that hang
out TO air, from his polluting teach, before /
,an read them. Not that many newspapers
would not he better for airing, anyhow; but
hat is too vast subject for one article When
I edit paper I will either refuse 10 insert
smuttY advertisements, or | will not refuse to
insert dignifed, properly expressed article on
. Magdaene Asylums,'' and Homes for
he Friendless." My ideas Of contamination
% the family circle may be peculiar, but, as
he woman said of her hideous babies, they
Are mine.
| would not advise any woman to marry a
literary husband Mine never hears when |
speak to him He is always Matching out
i an article" was a long while finding out
his, as lie had way of asserting to my re-
marks with a gratified nod of the head. One
lay it struck me, in regarding his physiognomy,
hat the intensity of his gaze was uncaled for,
md that it was unnatural for any husband to
agree so uniformly with his wife. So sprang
. trap for him by asking him his opinion on
me particular Pont'upon which had TOUCHED
n my discourse. A guilty blush overspread
lis hypocritical face as he stammered out,
. am afraid, Pamela, didn't quite catch
What you have been saying" Ny reply was
and wifely, and to this effect: that
lext time he WOULD catch it
If you knew what trial Penfeather is to
ne in the marketing line He will insist on
,oing himself, and such mess as he makes of
t! If the butcher pleads with him to buy
he whole Of very superior sheep, he does it,
ather than spend time to tell him that our
amiIy is small and hate mutton. Then the
butcher, with professional keenness, perceiving
oenfeathers weakness, puts off hollow hearted
potatoes and apples upon him, and persuades
i'm 10 buy cabbage, which had rather go
Without till l die than smell while cooking. :
Then he pays for highpriced butter, and they
end home low priced and when | go to him !
bout it, lie losses his arms wildly above his |
read and begs me to eatit, for the love bear
i'm, and for the sake of his " Indian Chron-
Gle" article; the last agonising sentence Of
which he is in pain with, and knows not the |
our Of deliverance. Then, when, with a
weetness of disposition unparalleled in the
nnals of wledom, agree to this. Penfeather, |
n total obIiviousness Of my magnanlmity, |
will ask NE, before some visitor at the next
neal. if | call that good butter? And when
kick his stupid literary leg under the table,
IS try to converse with increased animation.
lie says, Dear, why do you kick my foot?''
IF course l sweetly but fatty deny that did
nything of the sort.
Whenever we talk 10 each other, we always
,rcface our remarks by saying. Now, Pamela, |
II, now, Penfeathcr, | am talking ARTICLE
O don't steal it for the Indian Chronicle -
+ the weekly Gazette" honor bright, |
ow! No flching-this is my thunder! This |
ives spice 10 what would otherwise degenerate |.
nto stupid matrimonialities. Sometimes Pen
Gather brings me a criticism, in which be has !
'een roughly handled. And never did that
lear man find ME wanting, in that trying hour,
n sympathy. True TO my Sex, allow nobody |
'ut myself to scratch his eyes out. For me-
'amela. l have long since done crying sal
ears at the bidding of any critic. / shall be
nyrr IN toll ro,, nv opipi,r of , |