The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1867-06-06
A New Letter BY Artsmus Vnrt,

I
In the "sayage Club Papers, is given
the following letter by Artemus Ward,
which we believe has never been print
ed in America. 1. is worth printing ON
this accounts but 1t is evidently written
"for the Southern Market, ,"in England.
It says:
| 81 was sitting in the bar, quietly
smokin frugal pipe, when two mid
dle-aged and stern lookin females and
young and pretty female suddenly
entered the room. They were accom-
panied by two umbrellas and negro
gentleman. do you feel for the down
trodden !? said one of the females. a
thin faced and sharp-voiced person in
green spectaCles." Do l feel for it?"
ansered the landlord, in puzzled
yoice,E"Do feel for ii ~ ''Inasmuch
as to which ~ said the landlord. "You
see this man 2" said the female, pintin
her umbreller at the negro gentleman.
Yes, marin, see him." "Yesm said
the female, ,raisin her voice to a exceedin
hlgh pitch you see him, and he's your
brother" mo, I'm darned II he is %
sald the landlord, hastily retreatin to his
beer "And yours ~ shouted the
excited female, addressin me. "Hs is
also your brother.p "No, / think not
marmi" / pleasantly replied. i "The
nearest we come to that color in our fam
" was in the case of my brother John.
He he'd thejanders for sev'ral years, but
the finally left him. am happy
to state that at the present time, he
hasn't a solitary lander" LOOK at
this manly screamed the female. Hook
ed at him. He was a able bodied, we'll
dressed, comiortable-looking negro,
He looked as though he might heave
three or four good meals day into
him without a murmur. Look at that
doWn-trodden manp' cried the female,
who trod on him!' inquired. WVil
Inns! despots!" "Well," said the land.
lord why don't you go to the willins
about itT Why do you come tellin us
niggers is our brothers, and brandishin
your umbrellers round like lot of lu-
nytics? You're wuss than the sperit-
rappers." Have you," said middle
aged female No. 2. who was quieter
sort ofperson, "have you no sentiment,
no poetry in your soul-no love for the
beautiful2 Dost never go into the green
fields to Gull the beautiful flowers?"
II not only never dost," said the land
lord In an angry voice, "but rll bet
you five pound you can't bringa man
as dares say L burst" 'The little
birds, continued the female, "does not
love TO gaze onto them?" hI would
were bird, that might fly to thou?"
humorously sung, casting a sweet
glance at the pretty young woman.
Don't you look in that way at my
dawter," said female No. / in violent
voices you're old enough to be her
father" "rwas an innocent look,
dear madam" I softly said. "You be-
cence and purity. In fack, start
for Rome by the first train to-mor-
ror, to sit as model to the cele-
brated artist who is about to sculp
statue to be called Sweet Innocence.
DO you s'pose sculper would send for
me for that purpose Onless he know'd
l was oyeriiowing with innocency? ?
Don't make an error about me-" II is
my opinyn," said The leadin female,
that you're scoffer and a wretch
Sour mind isin a wusser becloudRd state
than the poor negroes we are seeking
to aid. You are a groper in the dark
cellar OF sin. sinful mani
There is a sparkling fount,
Come, come, and drink.
No; You will not come and drink"
YES he will" said the landlord, "if |
you'll treat. Jest try him" As for
you," said the enraged female TO the |
lan'lord, you are degraded bein, too |
low and vulgarO to talk to-" "This is
!
cried the landlord, drawing and drink |
ing mug of beer. Havin uttered
which COAX, he gave low rumblin !
larf, and relapst into silence. "My col |
ored fren'," said to the negro kindly, |
what is 1t all about?" He snid they
was tryin to raise money to send mis- |
sionRries to the Southern States in |
America to preach to the vast number |
OF negroes recently made free there. |
he said they were without the gospel. |
They were without tracts. said, "My |
fren', this is seris matter. admire |
you for tryin to help the race to which |
you belong, and far be it from me to |
say anything agin carryin the gospel |
among the blacks of the South. Let |
the gospel go to them by all MEANS
But happen to individually know that |
there are some thousands of liberated |
blacks in the South who are staryin, |
don't blanc anybody for this, but it is |
very sad fact. Some are really too i'll |
to work, some can't get work to do, and |
others are too foolish to see any neces-
sity for workin. was down there last
winter, and observed that this class
had plenty of preachiu for their souls,
but skuIce any vittles for their STUN
mux. Now, If 1t is proposed TO send
Hour and bacon along with the gospel,
the idea is really a excellent one. If on
the tother hand it is proposed to send
preachin alone, all can say is that it's
a hard case for the niggars. II You ex-
pect coloured person to get deeply in
terested in tract when his stummuck
Is empty, you expect too much"
gave the negro as much as I could
afford, and the kind hearted Ian lord
did the same. I said, Farewell, my
coloured fren'. L wish you well, GER
tainly. You are now as free as the
eagle. Be like him and soar. But
don't attempt to convert a Ethiopian
person while his stummuck yearns for
vittles. And you, ladies-I hope you
are ready to help the poor and unfortu-
nate at home as you seem to help the
poor and unfortunate abroad" When
they had gone the landlord said, "Come
into the garden, Ward" And we went