The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1867-12-12


cOodent stand the pressure Nv the Office
seekers week at his age, and
sich NV our Southern Dimocratic States
men ez are fit fer the place are either
in exile far away, or are prohibited from
acceptiD'the offs we wood be be glad to
give EN-, by the laws NV a unconstoo-
shnel Congris for participashsn IN the
late onplsasantnis.
Nallandygum remains to us, but he
amt avaleable The fact is, Vallandyg-
um hez Outlived his day. He'd he bin
actooated by desire to benefit his par
ty he wood hev irritated the guard wich
arrestid him TO the extent that they
wood hev perforated his bowels, and
died on the spot, with approprit last
words for US to put on banners and sich.
Then he wood hev bin NV use to us.
Then we Good hev pinted to his dead
body and in sepulkrel tones exclaimed,
"martyr!" But he selfshly refoozed to
die, and took remarkable good care to
preserve hisSelf intact, and returned to
plague US. A live politikle martyr is a
most inconyenient piece of furnytoor.
Marters is very much like the gruntin
swine-uv yoose only after death, and
then they are only fit for present yoose.
However sweet they may be while
fresh, they won't do to salt down. The
story Nv his wrongs did all very well
for two Oh three campaigns, but the
people hev he'd enuff NV it. 1t sours
on their stumiks. Its got to be to the
Democracy, wat hash is to boarders
1t obtrudes itself. When there is a
Senator to elect, mp comes this martyr
and butts in among the wires like bull
in china shop, demandin it ez the
price NV his sufferins for the coz. Its
all very we'll when the martyr hez suth-
in to recommend him besides his mar
terdom, otherwise he becomes moo
sence NV the first magnitude, wich calls
for speedy and efectooal abatement.
Wich, then, shell we hev for our Pres
ident7 There is one man, upon whom
the minds NV the Dimocrisy NV the
country all center, l allood, need /,
who write 'EP. NJ" after my name, say,
to A. johnson. He is our rock and our
cheefest trust, and in him only hev we
refuge. 1t seems clear to me that he
hez all the qualities for successful can
didacy. lie wuz born Nv poor parence,
in poor year, and in very poor State
His father died when be wuz SO young
that he didn't remember him for suthin
like fifty years after, and he wuz left a
poor orfun to make his way alone in
the world. He referred to this interest
in fact in his inaugural speech on the
4th Nv March, 1865. He made nv him
self tailor and actooaly worked on the
board for livin, and read histry while
workin industrusly at his trade. For
the benefit NV the people l wood state
fact which may not be generally
known, that he, from this honorable be-
ginin, hez swung around the entire cir
kle nv ofiishel honor, holdin, at differ
ent times, every offs in the gift Nv the
people, from Alderman NV his native
village up to the Presidency. Eff re-
member, he incidentally referred to
these facts in aspeech he made wunst.
There are other reasons for givin him
the nominashen, Nv wich these are the
most prominent:
/. Eff he isn't nominated and electid,
Seward, Weed, Raymond, Randall and
Secretary Welles will to wunst go back
to the Republican party,
2. He hez the affechns Nv nearly ev-
cry offs holder in the Yoonited States,
and wat fight they wood make to re-
tame their posishens
s. His DemOcrisy is entirely satisfac-
tory to me. He temporarily abberated,
but when he returned he wuz 6ereer
than ever. He clambercd long way
up the mountain nv Ablishen, it is troo,
but when he fell, he only sunk deeper
in the mire NV Democrisy. We need
never feer to trust sich a man.
4. He hez a incurable hatred Nv the
Ablishnists. When they woodent re-
cevs him corjelly on his various tOors,
be swore cternel hostility to em. Hence
we kin depend upon his bein troo to us.
5. Ez further guaranty NV faithful
mis-, l may say that hev it from the
best authority that he takes only whis-
ky strate, hevin given over all them
demoralizin fancy beverages wich Sc
doost him while he wuz in the bonds of
inikity and the gall NV bitterness.
There are also other reasons, but these
are sufficient Let us put onto the
ticket with him Henry Clay Dean, and
the arrangement is complete. We hev
the North and the South represented,
and the intellectooal wings NV the Dim
ocrisy. love Dean. Ez he stands be-
fore the aujence in all his greasiness, l
feel that there is suthin in him wich we
must admire. close this article with
suggestin the follerin ticket:
For President,
ANDROO JOHNSON.
(The pride NV the Postmasters.
For Vice President,
HENRY CLAY DEAN.
Respectfully,