The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1867-08-22
Ghe Senpsha TeIenraph
Thursday, August ~, 1851.
Hnmors Of Street Pedlara.
From the Cincinnati Times.

amusement and others with no object save
to be out Of doors when it is too sultry to re-
main anywhere else. What is that? A guitar
on the market space! We turn in the direc |
ton from whence the music proceeds and find
man standing upon a box behind the laring
light of lamp supported on stick, strum-
ming the Spanish fandango with portuguese
accent. He is cool, selfpossessed individu
al and seems totally oblivious to the remarks
or etares of the rapidly gathering throng He
is used to motley gatherings of the sort that
surround his pedestal, and if he looks at them
at all it is with professional eye, calculating
the amount of scrip they will probably yield
him. He stops the fandango at length, and
after turning his instrument little he breaks
out in a song. His voice is rough and strong,
but not unmusical, as he tells the familiar
story of ''Pat Malloy." His brogue may not
be good but the words come plain and clear,
and many pause to listen.
After following the adventurous young Fee
MAN, "whose name it was Malloy," across the
main to America, and then escorting in safety
back to old Ireland again, to overjoy his
''Molly darlin' " with an empty pocket and
heart proportionately light, the street must
clan lays aside his guitar, and producing .
box of backing from his coat pocket, exclaims
in loud voice; ''who was the greatest man
that ever lived?' "a pause and then he repeats
still louder.) ''Who-o-o was the greatest man
that ever Ived?' There is always some
in any crowd who thinks himself funny man,
and replies: cold Mother Goose" The laugh
which this response ELECTS from the crowd is
increased four-fold when the backing man,
who is quick to take advantage of all such
opportunities, replies in tone of mild rebuke:
young man, never speak disrespectful of
your maternal parent . and the funny man
that would-be sinks out of the crowd and
disappears.
"Who was the greatest man that ever liv-
edY' Warned by the fate of the funny man, no
one ventures reply, and then the musical
vender says I'll tell you who was the great
est man that ever lived it's the inventor of
this ere backing. Christopher Columbus in
vented the sewing machine in Genoa in 1892
Sir John Franklin discovered America, George
Francis Train laid the Atlantic cable and the
Nicholson pavement, and General Grant start
ed the Cigar trade, but the greatest man that
ever lived the man who was the heftiest bene-
factor of the age was the individual as invent
ed the patent self polishing, dry-shod, leather
preserving, shoemaker exasperating forty -four
looking-glass power, Ethiopian polish. Who'll
have boX?''
"Will you give me box for nothingW says
another funny man who has just arri we'd, ig
norant of the fate of Annanias
eyes, side the head (raising his voice..
Who-o-o-ll have box of the Ethiopian polish?
Only ten cents. Why it preserves the leather
so long gentlemen, that cows can look upon
the remains oftheir ancestors of ten genera
tions back Looking glasses, gentlemen, are
not used in families where this backing pre-
walls. 1t keeps the feet so dry in wet wealth
er that they rattle. Does anybody want q
box for the trifing consideration of ten cents?
(Thank you just the change)-who'll buy the
next box of this unequalled preparation for
abolishing wet feet without an act of Con-
gress, furnishing you with preambulating mir
rors, and make pair of boots descend through
a family like hair loom?'
'Do you take Old Abe's money!" inquired
another purchaser, as he hands out the re-
quired scrip in exchange for o box of the ETH
opian polish.
''This amt Old Abe's money!" returns the
vender, showing it into his vest pocket, "this
is mine. Where is the next Gentlemen that
wants polishing -
By this time trade is lively and the ten cent
pieces flow in rapidly yet he finds opportuni-
ty to discant still further upon the merits of.
this unrivalled polish. ''The inventor of this
here polish, gentlemen, is a Frenchman of no.
bic blood land the French you know gentlemen
are the most polished folks as is. 1 once did
know very bashful young man. He was the
bashfullest man, gentlemen, that l ever see
THAT ten cent piece is raised from five
thank you that is better)-this man wanted to
go with the girls, but he was so bashful he
didn't dare. He met me-bought box of
my polish-put shine on his boots with it,
and he has been shjnin' up to the women ever
since.' He pretends to hold whispered con-
ersation with purchaser of box, and then |
exclaims, ''that good looking gentleman who |
has just taken box says they have used it in |
his family for years.
'When they first used it, gentlemen, there |
was complaint that they cast reflections on their
but the neighbors bought it, too, |
and got over being mad when they come to re- |
fleet. Another box sold and got the money. |
He says, too, tits great saving of leather |
His father saved enough leather in a year by
using the polish gentlemen, to make double |
set Of harness and cover trunk. One at a |
time, gentlemen, unless you are twins, in |
which case two boxes will only be twenty |
cents. You want box to try, do you? It's |
ten cents a box where you try it. This is no /
humbug but bonyfdy article. None genu- |
inc gentlemen, unless you pays your money |
down. 1t is good for corns. sold a box to |
man in Louisville who had so many corns that !
he had to have his shoes made over bag Of |
hickory nuts to fit him. He polished his boots |
once, and, gentleman, he hasn't coughed since, |
his badness having entirely disappeared. |
Who-o-oll have the next box? The only dan
ger in using this polish, gentlemen, is you'll |
get round shouldered if you amt careful
hard to keep your eyes off your feet.
81 am the only man in Ohio gentlemen, as
is authorized to sell the Ethiopian polish So |
you needn't wait for the next man, thinking |
to get it cheaper. Ten cents box is Just !
what it costs, gentlemen. 1 makes no profit, |
gentlemen, and only sells it to give polish |
to community. give cents more, if you
please.) Kings and Emperors are using it,
gentlemen, and the G Ser of Rusty BACKED
his boots with it all the time he was at the
Paris Exposition. Don't crowd on my torch,
gentlemen it is liable to go off,"
A voice-"Your polish don't seem to go
off"
Vender-''Thats because I keeps it out of
your reach, sir Who-o-oll have another of
the unequalled, infallible, fire, water and bur-
glar proof blacking?"
And so he runs until the crowd is weary
,nnnltS nr.-n.r ,,.ha1,