Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1867-12-25

of London. While passing through one
of the principal thoroughfares Of trade
and travel, his attention vas suddenly
arrested by some beautiful specimens of
writing paper, exposed for sale at a shop
window. Seeing the proprietor of the
establishment standing at the door, the
Yankee civilly inquired of him what
he did with "them nice bits of paper ?"
" We keep them TO tie up gap seed in, ="
said the cockney, snappishly.
80, ye du-du YEP said Jonathan,
while he looked as though he was in
venting a trick with which he intended
to pay off the impertiuent COckney in
his own coin. Passing down the street
few steps, our indignant Yankee saw
another merchant, who was not only an
Englishman, but a gentleman also.
=" 1 say, mister, can you tell me what
that feller duz for a livin' what keeps
them ere nice bits Of paper at the win
der ?"
4" Yes, sir he is a small dealer in pa
per, and sort of a scribe. He writes
letters for those persons who desire his
assistance"
81 reckon he is a very small dealer,
and that he is a pharisee as we'll as a
scribe. Do ye think he'd write a letter
for me if I pay him for it?"
" Certainly he will, and jump at the
chance. That is his principal Occupa-
ton"
The Yankee thrust his hands q might
add arms) into his pockets almost up to
his elbows, for be felt the sting in the
waspish words uttered by the paper deal
er, and walked back to the shop where
he had been so rudely treated.
u say, mister, they say as how you
sell paper and write letters for folks
what can't write. What will ye tax to
write a letter to my sister Sally ?"
8 shall charge you five shillings," "
replied the Englishman, sOftening his
/ tone as his government does since it has
heard of our great victories.
Will ys vrite jest what I tell ye,
and spell the words right, as We do in
Yarmouth" inquired the Yankee.
"To be sure will, understand my
business perfectly.
Well, I don't care if ye du; I guess
you may write to Sally"
The Londoner procured pen, ink and
paper, and the Yankee commenced die
tating after the following style:
"Dear Sister Sally"
Hev ye got that down p
Yes.'
"'Rived in London last week"
"Hev ye got that down and spelt
right2"
Yes-go on"
Thought Ide go into the country
and take a ride"
Got that down right ?"
Yes, yes-go on don't detain me
So"
aI pay ye five ShillingS, dOn'tI, by
and by?"
d" Yes, yes-but you need not detain
me so"
"That's my business, and not yOurn.
'Wal the old mare banked"
Banked is a hard word can you
spell banked so that Sally will know
what it means ?''
To be sure I can"
Wal I don't care ef ye du."
"She wouldn't 60, so 1 licked her"
" Well, go on"
Licked--her--licked her--licked |
her"
"Well go on"
4" Licked her-licked her-licked her.
"What is the use of saying it SO
many times"
"None of yer business. I pay you
five shillings-licked her-licked her
licked her-licked her-licked her-lick-
ed her"
"This page is full Of licked hers"
"Turn over then licked her-licked /
her-licked her-lieked her licked her
She wouldn't 60 then, so I got out and |
kicked her-kicked her-kicked her
kicked her-kicked her" D."
You are not intending to say that as
many times as you said licked her."
"None of your business. Ipay you
five Sbillings; kicked her-kicked her
kicked her-kicked her-kicked her
She wouldn't go then, so I sharpened
the end of the whip handle, and prick
ed her--pricked her--pricked her
pricked her-pricked her"
" 1 cannot see any sensed in al this"
"Never you mind, pay you for what
you do licked her-kicked her-pricked
her-licked her-kicked her pricked
her-licked her-kieked her-pricked
her-prieked her-licked her-kieked
her-licked her--kicked her-pricSed
her. She would not go then, so I got in
and I"-( here the Yankee made a
chirrupping noise with his tongue and
lips which bids defiance to orthography.) |
" l cannot spell that, said the Eng
lishman.
90, ye can't spell that, ha?" Wal
ys needn't write any more for me, if ye
can't spell that"
Need not write any more" said the
cockney, with look Of astonishment.
"No more" said the Yankee, perfect
ly composed.
mot word to close with p
Nary a word"
You will pay me for what have
written ?"
mot a red. You didn't write down
I told you tu."
"Well, sir, what am I to do with all
this paper have spoiled ?"
Keep IL 10 he up gap seeds IN.
THEY have an "Oyster war" over in
Columbia county. Cyrus Oyster and
wife have sued Jacob Oyster aud wife
for slander, and obtained a verdict of !
S. nnn anninst Lhnm SnniIt OraLnra