Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1867-07-04
MISCELLANY.
A New Letter by Artemus Ward.

A0DNH'S iSIia.cS "ilu yOui6 euu PsSs.J .N"'"'S
suddenly entered the room They were accom-
panied by two unbreless and 4 negro gentle
man. ado you feel for the down-trodden p
said one of The females, thin-faced and sharp
voiced person in green spectacles. do feel
70. it ?" ansered the lan'lord, ina puzzled voice
- Do feel for It ?" Yesi fer The opprcss-
ed. the benitei ~ "tnasmuch as to which p
said the lan'losd. "You see this man said the
female, pintin' her umbreller at the negro gem
,leInGn. "Ycs marm, see him" Yes"
said the female raisin' her voice 10 an exceed
ing high pitch, you see him, and he's yoaF
bro.Ler |" "No, I'm darned if he is. said the
lan'lord, hastily resrea.in' to his beer casks
" And yours shouted the excited female, ad-
dressin' me. "IIeis alsoyour brother" "Nc,
think not. marm.P pleasantly replied
"The nearest we come to that color in our
family was in the case Of my brother john
He had the janders sey raj years. but they final
ly left him. ! an happy to state that. at the
present time, he hasn't a solitary jander. =
Look at this man p screamed the female. /
looked at him. lie was an able-bodied man.
well dressed, acknowledgements. He
looked as though he might have three or four
good meals a day into him without murmur.
" Look at that down-troddea man !" cried the
female. "Who trod on him ?" inquired
% l-,II;,sf joepotciu
"Well," said the landlord, why don't you
90 to the wilIins about it 2 Why do you come
here tellin' US niggcrs is our brothers, and
b,andshin your umbrellers round like lot Of
lunatics Yourwuss than The sperit-rappefs. +"
Have you" said a middle-agcd female no. 2,
who was quie.er sort of person. have you
no scntiment-no poetry in your soul-no love
for the beautiful? Dost never 60 into the
green fields, to Gull the beautiful lowers?" 81
not only never dost," said the landlord, in an
angry voice, "but III bet you five pounds you
can't bnng a man as dares say durst." "rhe
little birds" continued the female. "dost not
love to gaze onto thom?" al would I-were a
bird, that might fly to thee" l humorously
sung, casting sweet glance at TIE pretty young
woman.
"Doa't you look in that way at my dawter. y
said female No. !, in a violent voice ''yon're
old enough to be her father" '''I was an in
aoce,a Io0k, dear madaal, softly said. ."Y ou
behold in me an emblem of innocence and puri-
ty. In fack, start for Rome by thefrst train
tomorrow, to sit as model 20 the celebrated
artist who is about to sculp statue 10 be called
Sweet Innocence. Do you s'posc sculptor
would send for me for Tint purpose onless be
llnowd was overflowin' with innoccncy p
Don't make an error about me-" at is my o.
pinyn," said the leadin' female, "that you're a
scoifer and wretch Your mind is in q wus-
ser beclouded state than the poor negroes we
arc seeking to aid. You are groper in the
dark cellar Of sin. o sinful man
There is a sparkling fount,
Come, come and drink.
"No: YOU will not come AMI drink" "Yes
he will" said the lan'lord, if you'll treat
Just Try him" AS for you, said the enraged
female TO the landlord, "you are degraded
bein, too low and vulgar to talk to- This
is the sparklin fouu. for me, dear sister - cried
the lan'lord, drawing and drinking mug Of
beer. Having uttered which goak, be gave a
low rumblin' larf and relaxed into silence
"My colored fren," | said to the negro kindly;
"whet is it oil about 2" lie said they was
tryin 30 raise money TO send missionaries to'the
Southern States in America 10 preach to the
vast numbers Of negroes recently made free
there. He said they were without the gospel.
They were without tracts. said, MY frcn' /,
this is a seris matter. admire you for trying
to help the race TO which you belong, and far
be it from me TO say anything agin caTryin the
gospel among the blacks of the South.
Let the gospel 60 to them by all means But
happen Individually know that there are
some thousands Of liberated blacks III
The South who are staryin. j don't blame any
body for this, but it is very sad fact. Some
are really too i'll 10 work, some can get work
10 do and others are too foolish to'see any ne
cessity for working. ] was down there last
winter and | obsuryed that this class had plen-
ty Of preaching for their souls, but skurce any
vi,tles for their stummux. Now, if it is pro-
posed to send -four and bacon along with the
gospel, the idea is really excellent one. If,
en- the tother hand, it is proposed TO send prea-
chin alone, all that can say is that it's hard
case for the niggers. If you expect eolored
person to get deeply interested in tract when
his stummuck is empty, you expect TOO MUCH
gave the negro as much as could afford, and
the kind-hea,,ed Ian lord did the same. l said,
Farewell, my fren' wish you well, certain
ly. You are now as free as the eagle. BE ike
him and soar. But don't attempt TO convert
a Ethiopian person while his stumuuck yearns
for yi..lcs.. And you, lades-I hope you are
ready .ohelp the poor and unfortunate abroad y
When they had gone the lan'lord said, "Come
into the garden, Ward" And we went in and
cullod some carrots for dinner.
The following query was picked up on the
street yesterday: