The Van Buren press., 1867-04-05
Wit and Justice in Missouri.

~ 10 "0hNhoNu that some OF the JudEes
in Missouri are very reluctant to enforc
the law against ministers of the gospel fol
exercising their profession without having
taken the test oath. and avail themselves ot
every pretense to discharge those who ar,
accused. oF
We tell the following tale as It's told
Us. voaehins for nothing. --1
Three ministers charged with the crime
of preaching the "glorions gospel of H.,
Son of Cod were arraigned before the
Judge. They were regularly indicted, aud
1t was understood that the proof was CLEAR
:" Arc You preacher?" said the Judge
to ope. OF them -. -r-,.- r.-V
eyes, sir." replied the culprit'
10 what denomination do you belong?'
:" am Christian with much dig.
"a Christian! What do you mean by
that? Are not all preachers Chris.ians?''
Il belong to set usually called. but
wrongly called. Campbellites." (Not SO
with much dignity.)
" Ah! then you believe in baptizing peo
pie, in order that they may be born again,
do yOu?'
~ do, sir (Dofantly.) -;o
." Mr. Sheriff, discharge that man! He
is an innocent man! He is indicted for
preaching the gospel, and there ism t word
Of gospel in the stuff he breaches! it's only
some of Alexander Campelrs nonsense
Discharge the manW
81 Exit Campbellite, greatly rejoicing.
hr"A Are you preacher?" said the Judge,
addressing the next criminal. s
h!o" am. sir, said the miscreant.
"Of what denomination are you?"
=. 81 am Methodist. SIR" His looks
showed it,) a' ,,@''' 4, q I'll .'Il
~ Doyou believe in falling from grace?''
.''.I do, sir'' Without hesitation. =
do you believe in sprinkling people,
instead of baptizing them?"
Il believe that people can be baptized
by sprinkling." Much offended.
49," DO you believe in baptizing babies%'
lit is my opinion, sir. that infants ought
70 be baptized indignantly
"Not q word Of Scripture for anything
Of the Kind, sir!" shouted his Honor. "Mr.
Sheriff, tmn that man loose! He is no
preacher Of the gospel The gospel is the
truth, ami there isn't'a word of truth in
what this ai'sn teaches! Turn him loose!
It's ridiculous to indict men on such frivo.
Ions pretensesl Iurn him loose"
Methodist disappears, not at all hurt in
his feelings by the Judicial abuse he had re-
ceived - -...
"What are YOU sir?" said the Judge to
the third iclon. sid apd ~!
Some people call rue preacher, sir .
(Meekly.) ,a,.ai, e..
ai''What is your denomination?' a..ab
mI" am Baptist" Head up.)
His Honors countenance fell, and he
looked sober and sad. After pause he
said;
"Do YOU believe in salvation by grace?
!, u do (Firmly,) H..
-" Do you teach that immersion only, is
bap,ism?' u1 m5 F..
"iha, is my doctrine, sir" Earnestly J
"And yoa baptize but those who belong
inrJesrs Christi 1875
That is my faith and practice" (Wid
emphasis. -
MY friend. fear twill 60 hard with
you; | see you are indicted Tor pitaclliug
the gospel, and it appears to me that by
your own confession you .are guilty."
Baptist looked pretty blue.
May it please your Honor" said the
Baptists counsel, springing to his feet
"that man never preached the gospel.
have heard him. say a hundred times tha,
he only tried, Ihave heard him try my.
self.r' %
.ss"Mr. Sheriff, discchargsthis mani He.
not indicted for trying. There's nothing
said about the mere effort! Let him 70
sir! Turn him loose! / am astonished
that the States attorney should annoy the
court with frivolous indictmentsl"
ExitBaptist, determined to g try again. y
Court adjourned q,
/" God saws tho State and this Honorable
CourtT exclaimed the Sheriff.
" Amcn!" said the three preachers.
Napoleon, Arkansas, sends Us an
anecdote of Texas soldier:
While trudgng along ono day all alone,
soldier met Methodist circuit rider and
At once recognized him as such, but affected
ignorance OF il. s.'ia
Preacher'--" What command do yon
belong to-" go Juu---
Soldier" belong to the Texas regi.
ment, Van Don's army. What army do
you belong to?'
P.-(very solemnly -" belong to The
army oil tho Lordr' Nj
s.-"My friend, you've got a very Ions
way IRON Headquarters T"