Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1867-08-09

L
An editor who Joined base ball club
get off the following: iQd
| Look at that brace Of hands, once soft
and pretty, now euffused with the
Egyptian blushes. Look into those
optics and tell us tales OF sympathy.
| And look at that Mount Tom on our
right chcek-bon Base ball! That Is
the row,
1t came about thus. Secondary de-
| ployment Is too shirksome on the sys-
tenn. The doctor said we needed exer-
else. Doctor knows. He told us to
Join base ball; we Joined, Bought a
book OF instructions, and for five days
studied II wisely Ii not too we'll. Then
we bought sugar-scoop cap, red belt,
agreen shirt, yellow trowses, pumpkin
colored shoes, q paper collar and pur-
pie hectic, and with lot of other dele
gates moved gently to the grouud.
There were two mines. These mines
were antagonists. The ball Is a pretty
little drop of softness, the size of n
goose egg, and five degrees harder than
q rock. The two mines play against
each other. 1t Is a quiet game, much
like chess, only little more chase than
chess. uH1 ea
There was an umpire. His position
is o hard one. He sits OH box and
yells fowl His duty Is severe.
| took the bat. It is murderous
plaything, descended from Pocahontas
to the head of John Smith. The man
in the front of me was a pitcher. He
was a nice pitcher, but he sent the balls
hot. The man behind me was catch
er. He caught It too!
Umpire said play" IT Is tho most
/ radical ntau xNc ~. l..,H
Saving cordwood Is moonlight ram bles
beside base ball. So the pitcher sent n
ball towards me. 1t looked pretty COM
ing, SO | let 1t come. Then he sent
another. hit it with the club, and
hove 1t gently upward. Then started
to walk to the first base The ball lit
In the pitcher, or In his hands, and
somebody said he caught fly. Alas,
poor fly! / walked leisurely toward
the base. Another man took the bat.
turned to see how he was making 1t.
and q mule kicked me on the cheek.
The man said II was the ball. IL felt
like mule, and L reposed on the grass.
The ball went on!
Pretty soon there were two more flies.
and three of US flew out Then the
other nine came III, and us nine went
out. This was better. Just as l was
standing on my dignity In the left field,
hot ball, as they call it, came sky
fodikle'ing neilad iota toward J, ag me. My Captain
hastened gently forward to where
the ball was aiming to descend. have
good eye to measure distances, and
saw ut glance where the little @rolite
was to light. / put up my hands.
How sweetly the ball descended.
Everybody looked-I felt something
warm in my eye! "Muffin!n yelled
ninety fellers;. Muffin be id! It's
cannon balll" For three days I've
had two pounds of raw beef on that
eye, and yet Ii paineth!
Then wanted to go home, but my
gentle Captain said "nay." So / mayed
and stayed. Pretty soon IL was my
strike. ITO batl' yelled the umpire.
went, but not all serene, as was my
wont. The pitcher sent i'm one hip
high. It struck me In the gullef.
Fowl, yelled the umpire. He sent
in the ball again. This time took it
square and sent 1t down the right field,
through q parlor window--a Kerosene
lamp, and rip up against the head of an
infant, who was quietly taking its
nap In his or its mothers arms. Then
slilng the bat and meandered forth to
the first base. l heard high words aud
looked. When i slung the bat / had
with 1t broken the Jaw of the umpire,
and was fined ten cents.
The game went ON. / liked 1t. It Is
so much fun 10 run from base To base
just in time to be put out, or to chase a
ball three-fourtlis of mile down hill,
while all the spectators yell muffin ~
Ego it," "home run!O 20 round again!'
or 'go round q dozen times ~ Base
ball is sweet little game. When il
came my turn To bat again, noticed
everybody moved back about ten rods
The new umpire retreated twelve rods.
He was timid. Tie pitcher sent 'em
hot. Hot balls in time OF war are good.
But don't like 'cm too hot for fun.
After n while got fair clip at 1t, and
you bet it went, cutting the daisies
down the right field. A fat man and
his dog sat I'm the shade OF an oak en-
joying the game. The ball broke one
leg of the dog and landed like a runa-
way engine I'm the corporosity of the
fat man. He was taken home to die.
Then L went on double quick to the
field, and tried to stop hot ball. 1t
came toward me from the bat at the
rate of nine miles minute. put up
my hands-the ball went sweetly sing
ing on Its way with all the skins from
my palms with it. t
More raw beef.
That was an eventful chap who first
invented base ball. It's such fun.
I've played five games, and this is the
result:
Twenty-scven dollars paid out for
things. a -
One bunged eye, badly bunged.
One broken little finger.
One bump ON the head.
Nineteen lame backs.
A sore jaw. M a
One thumb dislocated. ~
Three sprained ankles.
Five swelled legs.
One dislocated shoulder, from trying
to throw the ball thousand yards.
Two hands raw from trying to stop
hot balls d ea4Slt4 a84
A lump the size of a hornets nest on
left hip, well back. 49, ~.
A nose sweetly jammed, and five
uniforms spoiled from rolling In the
dirt at the bases. - ItirT1
4 have played two weeks. aud don't
think like the game. There Is not
square inch on, in or under me but
ashes. sleep nights dreaming of hot
balls, "fiys,n fouls" and descending
"sky-rockets" j never worked so
hard since Ruth stole wheat, and never
was so lame since the burning of
Luther.
But l am proud of My proficiency In
the game. It's fine exercises little
easier than being run through thresli-.
iEg machine, and not much, either.
Its q nice game for q poet or orator
twill make one sore beyond all ac-
counts.
I've looked over the scorers book
and find that in two weeks I've broken
several bats. made one tally, broken
one umpire's jaw, broken ten windows
In adjoining houses, killed a baby,
broke the leg Of a dog, and mortalIy
injuring the bread basket Of specta-
tor, knocking five other players out Of