The tri-weekly standard. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1866-1868, 1867-04-18
From the Toledo Blade.
The Nasty Papers.

tnston-A Proposition to RemoCe the Col
1ege Rejected.
WASHINGTON, April 7, 1867
The news Nv the election in Connection
created the most profound sensashen at TIL,
Corners. 1t cum to US so unexpected, so lik
clap Nv thunder from clear sky, or ruth
err so like CLEAN NV sunlte thro a mass IL,
oyerpowerin black clouds, SO like the frs
streak Nv sunlite in the mornin after Ions
mite NV colera morbus with no brandy in the
house, that we wuz overpowered with it
The Corners hewitt experience SIGH a salts
factry spasm nv joy sence the reject Nv the
news Nv the Fort Piller affair. 1t perdoost
very singler effect on Deekin Pogram.-
When cum up to him with the news, he
WIZ engaged with all the elokence he pos
sect irwin to convince Niger, witch for
mcrly belonged to him, that, after all, the
Southcrnors themselves wuz the only ones
witch the niggers Good trust, and that when
the time cum for EN- to exercise the Elective
franchise eff they he'd any regard for their
own interests they wood turn their backs on
the Ablishnists, who wuz, to a man, hory
headed deceivers, and trust them and them
only who knowed EN-.
"Samyooel," sed the Deekin, in affec-
schunit tone, with one hand on the niggers
shoulder, "why shoodent we love 700? 700
are bone Nv you bone and flesh uv our flesh
we are Nv one blood" (this remark the
Deekin got into habit some two years ago
NV gittin off when speekin NV the Dimocrisy
North, and alluz uses it. 1t is ruther effec-
tive, tho in this instance, eft he'd bin in his
place, shoodent hev slung it out, owing to
the pecooliar construckshen witch mite be
put onto it," and our interests is one, Sam
yooel"
"Deekin," seq 1, 1nterruptin him. Deck
in Connecticut hez spoken in thunder tones
and hez gone Dimocratic p
wat J" SEE he, "Dimocratic :"
"Verily," SEE I. "a Governor, and three
Congressman out of four"
Their ruz sudden rupcher Nv the friend
ly relashens existen between the Deck IL and
Samyooel the dark complexioned. If he
WIZ NV the Deekins flesh the Deekin wuz in
favor Of notifying it, for never wuz flesh so
belabored ez wuz that unfortunit chattels.
The flesh wuz imeiltly lasserated. He pitch
ed into him feroshus, and after pummelin
the astonished Aferkin, who didn't see why
the result of a eeckshun shood work SIGH a
change, till he wuz out of breth, he condenst
wat strength wuz remain into one vigorous
kick, exclaimin-
'Take that, you black swindler. I've
I've bin betrayed into wastin soft sawder
onto Niger into a coaxin whor hev a
ondenible rite to command into"
wat does all dis mean p sed the Niger
family.
" Mean !" sed to him my friend this
is the reaction we've heard so much about
its arriv. 1t means that there is exceedin-
ly good chance Nv yoou bein redooSt agin
to yoor normal speer, Nv yoor comm down
the highhoss yooye bin a ridin and in bein
agin servant unto yoor brethren. 1t means
that Connecticut hez spoken, and that yoor
good deal more valyooable to us now than
you wuz hour ago. Go. my friend, and
buy salve for your brooses for unless you're
heeld, yoor yalyoo will be less in the mar
kit. Yoo'd be shamed to sell for low !
price, woodent yoo?"
left the Dimocrisy jubilatan and come
on to WashiRton, feelin that l must go
where l Good find kindred soles. The mite
l arrived ther WIZ high carnival at the
White House. The President wuz in tall
feather. Their wuz Connecticut visible all
over him. He he'd wooden nutmeg for
buzzum pima minatoor bass wood ham
hung from his watch fob, and in honor Nv
the occashun he wuz drinkin punches made
oil Moo England rum, with smoll slices of
Weatherfeld onyuns in en- insted Nv lem
ons. Randall sprang toward me ez enter
eel the room, and clasped me by one hand,
the President by tother, and we then---not
altogether onlike the three graces---embrac-
ed. They he'd the advantage Nv ME, ez
they he'd one odor--the onyun---which he'd
ent, but l stood it. Why not, when that
odor wuz from the breths of those hevin the
the apintin power? I wood hev stood it
he'd they bin eatIn assOfntida
At this juncture Secretary Wells come
in.
"Ha " said he, "why this unwonted hill
arity why this joy wher greet ginerally
holds her court :"
The Connecticut elecksoun, nsaid Ran
dali.
Their wuz pleasant gatherin. Cowan
wuz ther, and Salisbury and Doolittle and
Seymour and Brooks, and more congratula-
tory letters wuz read than wood fill page
of the Moo York Herald John c. Breckin-
ridge hoped this suspicious event wuz the
bcglnnin Nv good teelin, presagin, ez he
trusted it did, the evenchooel triumph Nv
them witch he he'd alluz bin proud to call
his friends. Mayor Monroe, wv Moo Orleans,
hoped that after this evidence Nv returnin
reason, President johnson wood not hesitate
to remove that second Butler, Gen. Shcri-
dan, who wuz ojius to every friend the Pres
ident had in the city Nv WITCH he wuz lately
Mayor. Gen. Wise sent his congratulations,
but ez they okkepied thirty-eight pages NV
legal cap paper, closely written, they wuznt
read; Mosby sent allegoricle pipe made wv
corn cob, onto w1ch wuz carved SYMBOL
Gle niger with the American eagle with
his claws into his WOOL with his c0ngratu-
ashuns and Fernando Wood and Jesse D.
Bright and Dan Voorhees, sent them. and
Vallandigham wanted to know now wheth-
r or not the Presinent wuz goin to accept
he situashen and take the Dimocratic party
o his buzzum? Eff so, he he'd list NV
pintements for Southern OHIO WITCH he
Wished made. At this pint the question
rose whether or not he'd not better move
ny Classikle and Military Institoot to Con-
ecticut? am a practicle man, and to-
7uznt asked, ez pertinent to the question,
7hether or not ther wuz distillery in Con-
ecticut, and sekond whether or not Their
yuz vacant post offs within four miles Nv
ooh, to be sure,' sed the venerable old
ian, vacantly, I" I remember. Hawley, wuz
ected over-over-what wuz his name p
ur candidate
"That wuz last year p sed Seward, an
lily.
swell, perhaps it wuz. When did that :
tate vote aoin 2D asked he 1nnOoantlv 70