The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1867-11-07
SOME ADVICE.

We translate the following from Josh Billings into
English, especially for the perusal of the more staid
OF Palladium readers. OF course the young men will
not care to read it. 1t has touch of irony, the
said when he knocked bis friend down with po-
ker:
My young friend, you about to begin life, and
although it may seem dreadfu!Iy impossible to you,
nevertheless you will be liable to make mistakes
while you scoring, during the first mile two
Let me mix up little advice for you to take till
you get to trott:ng steady.
You will observe the advice is designed for young
gentlemen who show some signs of spesd, ard also
that reason right from the shoulder.
l. Treat the old and the old woman as your
equals; smile when they exhort, and laugh when
they entreat, for young can hope for success
in the ornamental walks of lite who does the
belt at home
2. If you canno: raise musthache, commit sui
eide at and begin again for it is better to die
than to suffer disgrace.
8. Cultivate mpudence-impudence is a good sub
stiute for brave.y-onls be little careful to pick
your customers when you try it.
Keep a trotter and fighting rooster. These n
finals will let you into the confidence of men who
will watch your morals and nurse your geni1s.
s.. Avoid the old fogies; they miserable set
of cowardly croakers who, like thirdrae dog, have
CdIucu WHAT Httie tneS huo" dDout DF Simply
being overmatched in a fair fight.
6. Suspect al! female virtue. This will give you
easy flow of ambiguous language while in the So
ciety of the ladies' and enable you awaken confI-
sion, which you call something else.
Z. If you get desperate, and must marry, marry
for ducats-marrying for blood for love slop
Ply for man of spirits. Love is low passion, and
is designed for two-story houses one of the blca
streets, not for brown stone front.
s. By all means learn to swear, and smoke freely,
and don't mistake rain water for milk punch,
unless you want a soft thing.
9. Call religion a stock obbers pidgeon to catch
flats with say that virtue is only the galvanized i'm
portance of towards that wisdom is but egg that
is added laugh at all things that are solemn and
that Bacchus and Venus are the only two gods
fit to be worshiped.
Young man. cultivate all the above graces. and add
to them what the ardor Of your genius may in
spire and if the horse jockeys and pimps generally
don't say you brics of the brightest hue and if
the devil don't make you some fattering proposals,
the days of chivary positively over and pudding
and milk has got glory in it than brandy smash,
a sour, a tom-and-jerry.
Young man, "a few words with you in private, let
these cheerful remarks settle down into you when you
get to rejecting at IL o'clock some raney night.
Don't make fool of yourself by trying to jump 65
feet at jump and land among the "Bhoys" at once,
but examine your build closely and you not
better constructed for something honest.
But if on find you must go to despair, then put
all the steam you carry, and either burst get
there possible.
p. S. When you get there and have had enough of
it, just drop line and viii wha. be done
for you. But don't forget one tbing-that the road
back is three times far, and is all the way up hill
besides.