The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1867-12-14


John Quill gets of the following neat bur-
lssque, In the New York Sunday Dispatch
IA BIRcHTOwN ACADEMY, Sept. 90.
ssDEAR PoP: I am getting along first rate at
the school, and like IL very much, all except
Whacks, the assistant-"Old Beeswax," wo call
him, and we are down on him like pile-driver,
all us boys, for he's ignorant. Why, he's so ig-
night, no, he don't, and Bill Ferguson he put
torpedo under each leg Of old Beeseys chair
yesterday, and when he sat down you see he
sets down like he had ballast in HIM why the
torpedoes then exploded, and like to blowod him
through the roof. Golly, but wasn't he scared
He looked at the almanac to make sure it wasn't
the 4th of July, and then he came down. looking
mad, and licked Bill like blazes. But Bill said
he didn't care a cent, and the next time he would
sprinkle gun-powder in his hair, and bust his
old front-piece off of him.
DIR. George, he's a nice enough old fellor. only
he will sit and chew gum drops right before us
boys, and never say take some,n once r.aa %
ne wears green specs, and Bill Ferguson he
called hun sold four eyes" one day, which he
heard Bill say, and he nailed him and dragged him
up TO the desk and then he gave us a lecture,
and said there was once a boy h knew, and he
was about Ellis size, who insuted sray-haired
old man, and called him wicked names, and the
next day-the very next mOrn;ug--the boy
mother died Of infalnmatory rheumatism and
his sister broke out with buRiOus
Bill, he cried, while the doctor held him by
the shirt collar but he winked at the boys rs he
came away, and wrote on i piece Of paper, and
threw it over to me, that he thought the doctor
was "a blower" and he darsent hit boy Of his
size.
want some new books very much, about ten
of them, and they WIN cost eight dollars. Please
r. send the money for them. Don't send the books,
for the doctor likes to buy them here
- don't want any money for tatiy or marble,
for doA't care about them: but be sure not to
send anything but the money for the books
! am in good health. ! was taken sick last
week, and had a sore eye for few days, but it
is now well.
We was playing mumbly peg out on the grass,
and Bill Ferguson he grabbed nay knife. ! told
him he better give that knife up or | would tell
you, and get you To lick him when you caIno
down, and he said he could lick you and a dozen
like you, and then be dared me to knock chip
off his shoulder. ,W8gs ssFgH - yoke f.I
And Jake McGnnis, he pushed me against
him, and that knocked the chip off, and Bill he
struck me over. the nose three or four times, and
said he'd bust me ON the snoot' ii i didn't dry
up, for / couldn't help crying, and / was taken
sick and couldn't 40 to school all that day.
And the doctor. he locked Bill up in the gar
ret but he didn't care, for he clum out on the
roof. and was chasing around after torn-cats up
and down, almost all the morning, and pulling
plastering out OF the chimney to throw at people
in the street
Give my love to all at home, and don't forge.
the money for the books
Bill is about fourteen; do you think he can
lick you
Please send the money, and believe me your
affectionats son H. NJ. WILKINS.
7. S.-Don't forget 70 send the money for
those books.