Des Arc weekly citizen., 1867-05-25
The Second Baby.

By gosh, we've got another baby just like t'other, they'd been twins, on- ly one come along two years ahead.-- It's got the same old squall, yells like blue blazes. and keeps. spiting milk held it the other night while the nuss was hunting up the .'lixerpro." Well, no matter, but won't "trot" it again soon, if do, my wardrobe may be "spiled." It sung sweetly all the while until gave it slight dig in the back which made her collapse, and if you'd have seen this, J. W. B., you'd have thought it was q lovely collapse, too.- Experience is wise schoolmaster.'" I've laid in stock of wet goods for it, scventy-three bottles of tecthing syrup, three quarts of patent suicide laud-. anum, two dozen bottles of Godfrey's cordial, so as to TREAT hor CORDIALLY, a barrel and three pints of paregoric. - got the three pints, so if the barrel gives out some dark night, in the mid- dle of n thunder storm, I'll be sure to have one dose left. was brought up to believe mans house was his castle, but I'll be darned if I ain't mighty small potatoes in the new baby season :; the ''nuss"iis boss, and carries the keys ofthe castle gate, and slle amuses her self by trying to sec that don't have a laundering bit of comfort; she keeps me in the kitchen watching to see the "gruel bile" or "daubing" mustard on square bits of cloth with the handle of spoon marked ''J. w. B. I can't drink the baby's paregoric without the ''nuss" smelling it, and telling my bet ter or worse that I've been drinking wlliskcy, and am drunken brute. I am then summoned to her bedside, and told that Eff she should die I'd remem- bcr this,'r and .'nuss' will say, "poor thing" and next day tell all my neigh bors how my brutal treatment is kill ing my wife, and how the poor, dear thing sobs herself to sleep every night. and feel as shecpish as though had been indicted for stealing kindling wood from graveyard. The baby's breath is as sour as ten day old butter milk; it's mouth, when shut, aint big ger than worm hole in a hickory nut, it's generally open, and as big as stove pipe hole. When she was two days old gave her real bone tooth-piek, to get the 'schunks" of curdled milk out of her teeth, who laughed at me, and I looked and found that she VI dcform- ed, for she was born with Aothing to chew with. It was coming a regular gum game on me; but had to put up with it. She has tongue just about as big as my palate, and all stained white will swallow q quart bowl full of milk, and then you can put ba- by. milk and all, into the bowl and not half fill it up. e ~
 Itain't got but three hairs, and wife prefers combing them straight to curl ing. It's complexion is the color of a mahogany wash stand, and it's body the shape of a peanut. She has good voice for ten or eleven o'clock nights, but I've got an orthodox way of shut ting her eye up; take her by the bot tom of her long white dress, let her head hang down, and swing her gently backward and forward, keeping time with the pendulum of the clock. Ifshe is very noisy, let her head rub on the Brussels carpet; then let her up lit tic, and see her breath coming back I throw in little more swing; by way of dessert, puff a little killikinick to- bacco smoke down her throat, which makes her as mad as the deuce, and it makes her squirm, too; but tell wife | it's good for worms, and should thinl; it ought to be, if it ain't; she is mighty independent, and don't care any more for the memory of George Washington than she does for the backbone of q cat fish, and thinks more of sugar-tcal than of Andy Johnson or any other man she is so partial to YELLOW, thai l think she will make agood abolition- ist Doc. says there is no use in buy ling flannel in small quantities every two years, and that 1 had better lay il by in the case. Tainted I hoped but ter would come down, as my children were so we'll BRED they would require Ilarae doses; he told me that must no! Isthink of the expenses, only to think Oi what help they would be to me. sighed, and asked when? And when thought what was in store fer me il the future, I thought it would take { mighty big store to supply them. w are going to have that young dumplins ,christcned just as soon as she'll make {
 bundle big enough to carry out, and [
 drop of water won't drown her. w have hunted over all the GAL-lic, SELL tick, sAcKs-on and greasy-ANN names
 but have concluded to wait until wifi
 and mo both dream one name the sam night. We want something .Meal, fo
 what we have of her now is all real.
 guess you'd think so to see me glidin:
 around the room on tiptoe in the stil hour of the midnight, shivering witt
 cold, and holding little tin saucepan
 over the gas-light, swearing clear dow
 in my stomach, waiting for the milk t
 .bile 7 it takes longer to s'bile" tw gills of milk for yening baby than does to get up steam on an ocean steam I CT. can "bile" over dozen time while the milk does once; then for sleepy head of the family it is delight l ful exercise to "by-a-baby" around tn ] room, sticking stray pins in your fec r and swinging a cross baby to and fro