Smyrna times., 1867-04-24

The Seven Years Suitor is the terror of a
household. He is often the cause of bitter re-
examinations and utter desperations in fami-
". When quite young man he visits her
closely, and gladdens the heart of mamma,
With host of manageable daughters, who
natters herself that one of her live stock is soon
to Ind market: A year or two pass by, and
mamma becomes somewhat fdgety, and is apt
to receive the young gentleman with naughty
looks and little unaffected displeasure. The
poor girl, after her lovers departure, is sub
Jected to all sorts of cross questionings as to
what he said and did, and if he expressed any
Intentions or even mooted any hints Nothing
Is elected. he calls every day in the week,
and dimes there on Sundays. He has evident
ly made up his mind to be one of the family,
and does his best to make all consider him to
be at home. At last, in utter disgust and in
sheer desperation, the mamma informs her
daughter that she must find out what he means,
or she herself will. Then, terror of matronly
terrorS to the impatient maternal ear! Lucy
informs her mother that she has made with
Charlie long engagement. The loving ma
ternGl calls her daughter fool, goose, stupid,
and other sweet, endearing terms, and there is
weeping, and waing. and flirting of skirts.
Every One-the children, impudent brother
Tom, even the servants, know that Lucy has
made long engagement Her sisters jeer at
her, and her brothers leer at her; worse, the
maid offers her sympathy. However, Lucy is
firm. She will wait for Charlie, sthough it
We're hundred years. He comes every day.
The other young ladies of the family meet
him. He is in the way. He is always in the
parlor. There is no privacy in the house.
They cannot feel at liberty with their compa-
ny, for he is always looking on. However,
others are married, have children, chriStenings
succeed weddings death follow birth; new
generation is sprOuting up-and poor Lucy
seeing the marks of progress all around her,
feels old and deserted, though she is still haun-
ted by her Seven Y Years' Suitor. Nobody
leases her now; she is severely let alone. The
meekest of virgins can indure it no longer; she
informs her lover that he has worn out all the
chairs in the house and her mamma can't af-
ford to buy new ones for him. He considers
the remark an insult; quarrels, leaves, vowing
never to return. But the force of habit brings
him back next day; when he sees mamma, who
arranges that he will become Benedict in a
month from date-or after seven years of court
ship!
The Three Months Suitor, in these fast
days, when there is no time for tagging or was.
ting on preliminaries, is the beau-ideal of sui
tors. He is generally an experienced man,
who has his time so we'll employed that he has
none to spair for dawdling. He looks on court
ship as the introduction to marriage, and nev-
er thinks of counting woman whom he would
not be united with. Being we'll acquainted
with the lady before he pays her attentions,
all the diliydallyings of less straightforward
men are by him avoided As everything he
says means something, he finds no difficulty in
coming to the point Of rejection or acceptance.
Neither the young lady or her mamma are the
least startled when he makes an offer after the
short term of three months attention, any
more than they would be surprised to hear
that locomotive travelled as far in an hour
as wagon in day.