Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1867-10-21
THE JOSH BILLINGS, PAPERS.
SUN NArRAL HISTORY.

The CLAM.-The clam is a dubious
plant, and resides on the under side ov
the water. He il born az the birds are,
but don't cum out ov his shell. He il
deserted by hiz parents, at a young and
tender age, but don't bekum clamorous
on this akount, but sits still and keeps
watch with his mouth, for sumthin tew
cum along.
Hiz temper is said tew be cold and
clammy, but he must have q relish for
something, for hiz mouth waters all the
time. he IL the life ov the kompany at
a c%lam-bake, and sometimes may be
seen summing q half bushel ov himself,
in front ov a grocery, and quite often
twelve of them, under tho temporarious
excitement Of salt, and peppersass, a
bin known tew peal, and pitch into a
man, belo the belt, and kick up a devil
ov o muss with him.
The clam and the oyster are cuzzins,
but the oyster haz the best edakasnnn
ov the two, their habits are similar, u
thare IL a crate difference in the thick
ness ov their skulls, and in the sottness
oy their brains, the oyster would shine
az a poet, in the columns Of the monthly
Y, while the clam might do
the fish market report for the New
York daily n
Thare IL nothing more docile than the
clam, and altho they sumtimes get IN
to q stew, they are rs easy tow lay y,ure
hand on, and ketch as a stun, but they
are like an injun, not very talky, they
have got an impeachment in their nose,
their lips open with too much titeness,
and thoir mouth is tew full ov tongne
tew be glib.
Thare il az much difference, in the
breed ov clans, w thare IL in tho breed
ov christians, sum are so tender and
sum are so tuf-sum are good on the
half she'll, at a minnitts motifs, and sum
wants az mulch billing az q boss shu,
and then will stand u good deal ov
chawing besides.
CLANS were fust discovered, rs the
meazels waz, by being caught. How
long a clam kan live / don't beleaf they
kan tell thcmselfs, probably FIVE thou
sand years, but a large share ov this
time IL wasted, and clans time amt
worth much, only tew grow tutf in, it IL
jiss so with sum other folks i know ov.
X \ X n
THE CRAB.'-Natur is fond ov Joke.
She must have felt full ov fun when
she made q soft shell crab. The strong
est emotion the crab haz liz tew bite.
They amt afraid tew bite u saw log or
a black bear. They are born in the
water, but they kan live out doors on
the land as long rs they n find emmy
thing tew bite.
They hav several leggs, which are aul
lokated on the starboard side ov their
person. Crabs live under cover, like
the mudturtles, but they move evry fust
ov May, into q new one.
They are sed tew be good eating, but
you wouldn't think so, tew stand and
look at them, il would bother n stran-
ger tew tell where tew begin, it would
be q good deal like trying tew make n
sudden dinner out oy q cross kut saw.
They are billed in q pot, about two
bushels ov them, until they stop biting,
and then they are done, and are ct by
throwing away the boldly, and sucking
the pith out ov the limbs. 1t is u good
deal like trieng tew get the meat out oy
a grasspoppers legs. 1t is considered q
good days work to git one dinner out ov
billed crabs; I think perhaps q person
mite sustane life on them, but he would
have to work mite aud day to do it, and
keep q smart man billing crabs aul the
time. Crabs bite with their feet, and
hang on, like q country couzin.