Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1867-03-15
Ait aud it'istlon,.

They do rot love that 10 not show
their love.
The most get rich by saving, poor
by spending.
What is the greatest virtue in sea-
captain? Wrecklessnss.
Beer fills many bottle, tho bottlo
fills many bier. t -- Gag 4.''"
When trials come-looly out for good;
those showers will always drop gems.
When man is nearest heaven, he is
also nearest the place where angels fell.
What flower il most desired by tho
disappointed loverr Hearts ease.'
h A Goldfish break fast and nm india
rubber coat will keep man dry all.
day. .a al ..fesa4as', sasl. 8 - 81
There are periods Of gloom that seem
epidemic. Patience Is the best medi-
cine then. ....ssf...s,.a ts..-...., .,... a...
An absconding debtor who was sum-
marily stopped from leaving town,
says he Is utterly opposed to a0ritllalism.
Why must a telegram be slower i'm
transmission than than most letters? Be-
cause 1t must go by 80 many posts before
it reaches its destination. NJ @t So
At dinner In Springfield Mass, re-
Gently, lady sent the following volun-
tcer toast :--1sprace old bacheiors--the
sttry'cens of society" ........
Tho Bridgeport Standard tells. a
story of u keeper Of toll bridge, who
refused II silver quarter in payment for
toll, and insisted on having good
money. ... .sfrmEs ge.g
" This, we must remember, IS the
fall season." said Mr.. Quilp, as he
gracefully bumped his nose on the leo
yesterday, to the amusement of sono
saucy shop girls, who Uttered audibiy.1
Speaking of shaving, said a pretty
girl to an old bachelor, I should think
That n pair Of handsome eyes would bs
the best mirror to shave BY: Yes.
many poor fellow has been shaved, by
them. .s.. ..r. 80 ...... ....... -.
A smart old Yankee lady being called
into court as u witness, grew impatient
at the questions put to her, and told the
Judge she would quit the stand, for he
was "ra'l one Of the most inquisitive
cid gentlemen she ever see." =.
" Paddy, why don't you get yonr ears
cropped? ? They Hre entirely too long
for u man"
"Aud yours" replied Pat, fought to
be lengthened, they arc too short for a
mule.u assrE # ... .... II.
OH never in the world beneath, or In
the world above, did printer
hear sweet sounds of blss-dear tones
OF heavenly love--inorc thrilling to his
inmost soul, than when, with kindly
glance, patron says: "Oh, bless your
heart, IH pay Jou IN adranoew
Tn Nashville r,,a,,u,, ..,,o $780,.
speaking OF General Grants moIesty.
General Forrest Immediately added II
never knew any OF the rebel leaders To
accuse him of being a very retiring
man For one, l found him very bold
il. his advances
A correspondent of the London Jour
nal treats ut some length on the beat
way to prevent hydrophobia. A wag, in
reply, suggests that he once prevented
, \ case OF the dreadful maiauy by get
ting Oh a. fourteen rail fence and stay
ing until the dog left.
A member of Congress once. said.
"What the honorable gentleman has
just asserted l consider rs catamount
to n deniai.' IL presume" said his
opponent, THAT the honorable gentlo.
man means tantamount.n "Certainly,
sir; am not quite SO ignorant OF our
language Us not TO be aware that cat-
amount and tantamouut are anon
ymous."
Dilatory people nre always behind
time. Some one said to Il person of this
class, " see you belong to the three
handed people, "Thrce-handed,n - said
he, that's sratheruncommon.n .n"Oh, no,
common enough,n said the other; two
hands like other people-and little
behind hand.n ..
II can speak for m hour or two to-
gcther," said the leader Of the English
reform movement toa friend, without
mois;ening my lips, as most men havo
known In the House are compelled to
do" THAT ~ very singular, more SO
than yoa think" was the reply.
why so?" said the reform, big one.
because you have no idea how dry
your discourse has become Of late"