The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1867-06-07
A Park BILE for Business NTcn-The
~ EHcct OF Printers Ink.


A Para BILE for Business NIcn-Thc
Encct OF Printers Ink.
There was once upon O time man
who ,keptsa store and sold goods
wholesale and retail.
And become melancholy, because
customers were shy and times hard.
And he said: Loi / am ruined, and
the sensation is disagreeable.
And my ruin is more painful to
bear because it is slow in progress,
even as water doth gradually become
hotter in the pot wherein the lobster
bolleth, until the crustaceous creature
shrieketh out, his soul in anguish.
Lol it is better TO be ruined quickly
than to endure this slow torture.
will give my money away to the
poor man, even the poorest, which is
he who printeth newspapers; and 1
will shut up my shop and wrap my
self in sackcloth of desolation. and
pass my days in the perilous or
broken banks, cursing the hardness
OF times and rending my garments.
And the bowling of Rome shall be
as dulcet sounds of dulcimers, and
they wh0 blow the flutes and instru-
ments of music, compared to the din
1 will make in the ears of the wicked,
even in the ears of the bank direct
ors.
And even as he said, so he did; for
he was not like other mems sons who
are foolish and know it not, and they
will do so and SO, performing that
which is contrary.
For the sons of men are tickle, and
he that is born of a woman doth spite
his face by diminishing the length of
the nose thereof.
And, lol. the printer he who
publisheth newspapers-was made
glad by the bounty Of him who sold
wholesale and retail; and he did
sound his praises, and print them
moreover; and did blow his trumpet
of fame respecting that mans deal
ings from the rising of the sun even
to the going down of the same.
And he-even the printer of pa
pers-did magnify and enlarge upon
the stock of goods which the trader
had in his store, and did publish the
variety, and the excellence, and the
newness, and the beauty, and the
cheapness thereof, till the people
yes, all of them-far and near, were
amazed,
And they said, 10! this man hath
gathered from the East and West
costly merchandise and wares of won
drous value-even the workmanship
of cunning artifcers-and we know
it not.
Go to, then. We will lay out our
silver and gold in those things which
the printer printed of, and that which
he doth publish shall be ours. For
this mans merchnndize is better than
the bank notes of those who promise
to pay and therein lie, even banks of
deposit, which beguile us of our
money and swindle us like sin.
But the trader was still sod, and he
said, the money that these people
bring me for the goods in my store I
will give to the printer, and thus will
l ruin myself. I will do that which
no man hath yet done in my time or
before. will make the printer man,
whom all men scorn for his poverty,
rich, and he shall be clad in fine linen,
and rejoice.
And the scns of men shall meet
him in the market place, and the
sheriff shall shun him, and the SCOT
fers shall be rebuked and shall take
off their hats to him that was poor.
And he shall flash the dollars in the
eyes of the foolish, and shall eat
bank notes and sandwiches.
Yea, even shall he light his pipe
with cotton money and cast his spit
tie on the boards of other men.
For [ shall ruin myself, and he who
advertises me shall enjoy my sub
stance.
But, lol the trading man-even he
who sold merchandize-bec rich,
and even as the unclean beast lietb
in the mire, stirred he not by reason
OF much greenbacks.
And the people focked to his store
from the North, and from the South.
and from the East, and from the
West.
And the printer rejoioed, and his
''phat" did abound.
But the trader could not become
poor, and his melancholy ceased,
and the smiles Of happiness were upon
his face.
And his children did become
mighty in the land, and by reason of
the dollars which many of the people
who read his advertisements had