Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1867-02-08
The Reason why Mr.. O'Flaherty
Didn't make a Speech.

A short-necked, apoplectic Irishman
sprang upon the steps and standing
beside the chairman, sleeked his hair
over his head with one hand, while he
grasped his hat firmly with the other.
The crowd, who thought this might,
be the venerable O'Flaherty himself
settled into quiet, and the new candi-
date for applause, broke out thus
in rich Milesian brogue:
Yeez are all expectin' spache
from Misthur O'Flaherty. Divil a
spache will any of yeez get this night.
An the reason of it are brafely these.
| was passin' by Mr.. O'Flaherty's this
night, and he sez to me, sez he
Barneyr sez he. Sur said l.
Where are you goin' ? sez he. ITO
Tammany-Hall-its a meetin' there
is, sez [. Faith T sez he, Il ought to
be at that same myself. but | can't
come 'Why? sez |. 'Bekase,' sez
he, my horse has lost shoe off his
left four fut, an theirs no blacksmith
nigh at han to shoe he horse-an' Nv
the horse were to come down wild but
three shoes upon his left fut, the pos
sibility is, he'd be lame in the mornin',
which as Mistress O'Flaherty's in an
interesting condition. sez he, might
be exceedingly inconvanient. So,' sez
he, Barney, which, sez ], Il wish you'd
60 down this avening, sez be, AN say
to my fellow citizens at Tammany
Hail. sez he, that it is utterly impos-
sible that | should address them this
aveaing, bekase the horse has lost the
shoe off his left four fut, an there's
no blacksmith nigh at han to shoe the
horse, an if the horse were to 60 to
town with but three shoes upon his
four fut, the possibility is he'd be
lame in the morning, which as | am
expectin' young Misthur O'Flaherty
to be cummin some time shortly might
be ineonvanyent, sez Misthur O'Flah-
erty, sez he. well, sez /, 'Misthur
O'Flaherty seeing it's you an yer
neighbor,' sez [, I'll 90 down to Tam
many Hall this night and III say to
the byes there, sez I-ye nadent be
expectin' spache from Misthur o.
Flaherty, bekase, the horse has lost
his shoe off his left fore fut-and
there's no blacksmith nigh at home to
shoe the horse, which there isn't, see
ing the highest is Tim Daly-and
that's three miles off-and if yees was
to bring the horse to town this night,
the possibility is that he'd be lame in
the mornin which as the Mishtress
is in delikit condition might be incon- =
yanyenf, and that's why I'm here this
night to tell yez that you needn't be
expectin' a spache from Misthur o.
Flaherty. bekase, his horse has lost
a shoe off his left four fut an there's
no blacksmith nigh at han to shoe the
horse-and nv the horse was to come
down with but three shoes on his four
feet, the possibility is he'd be lame in
the mornin' which as Misthrest o.
Flaherty, is expectin' to make her man
a present shortly, might be ineonvan-
vent. And yees must understand,
that as I was comm pas Misthur o.
Flaherty's last night-he was a sittin'
on his stoop, wild his shirt sleeves up,
an he call to me, Barney Sez he,
Sur sez I. 'Yure purity schmart
fellow, sez he. 'Thrue, for ye,' sez |.
AN We can sphake purely well, only
YOU don't know where TO sthop.'-
May be so, sez |. Thin, sez he, L
wish you'd 60 down to Tammany Hall,
and tell my Dimmikratic feller citizens
that | can't poshibly address them
this evenin' bekase the horse has lost
shoe
Here the crowd, who desired a lit
tie more variety in the harrangue,
broke out into various exclamations
of dissatisfaction, but Barney was de-
termined to finish his speech in his
own way, and continued:
"off his lift fore fut, an there's no
blacksmith nigh at ham" ''Take
him down p" Clear him out ?"-
Turn him off, and various other
hints of the necessity of Barney's
ithdrawal were given, but the speak
or looking bewildered, went on to
say
"to shoe the horse, an Nv the horse
were to come down" Here doz-
en- hands seized Barney and endeav-
ored to drag him away, but he resist
ed, still continuing his speech
"wid but three shoes on his four fut
the possibility is" At this juno
ture, he was dragged from the steps,
and hurled into the crowd, but even
| there, amid the jeers and uproar
around him, his voice might be heard
| finishing his sentence at the topmost
| pitch
"he'd be lame in the mornin' y
4 Old Dr wac q ouack a