The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1867-10-23

here too. Possibly you may guess
vinegary old cynic as you are-that 1t
may sometimes enter into the dear
! little heads of the aforesaid spins
though this / would not myself tor
the world assert. but merely just sup
pose - that a state Of matrimony
would. perhaps, be a more pleasant
condition Of existence than that cf
lonely virginity; while you may have
an idea, moreover, that ia the hearts
of us solitary, selfish, wretched bacn-
| elors there is a suspicion that the
beer and skittles of lie, or, 20 express
it more elegantly, the claret and bill
! lizards of existence, are not likely to
be made more plentiful by venturing
on the risky and expensive investment
of a wife. There" he went on,
I breaking into one of his gay laughs,
which had been gradually rising as he
spoke. Il have uncOnscously con
densed into nutshell one of the
greatest social problems of this en-
| lightened century. Well, to proceed,
we young moral philosophers, seeing
and comprehending these things, have
resolved to derive both instruction
| and amusement from the study of this
| peculiar phase of the human charac-
! ter, male and female; and In order to
bring the study within the compass
of all, and so make it popular, we,
knowing the love of chance inherent
In all men, have hit upon a plan for
| developing the nobler aim, by pander-
ing to the ignoble. To go into practical
| details, it is this: we get out list Of
all the manageable girls in the place,
not forgetting the widows, should
there fortunately be any, as they give
wonderful zest to the thing. and
often puzzle the oldest moral philoso-
piers among us. These names are
| drawn, and the man who draws the
name of the girl who marries first
gets the stakes-in fact like a Derby
| Ascot, or other race sweep, with the
| difference than women run instead of
horses. and the stakes are matri-
mony."
=" see," | replied; aud to carry
the simile still further, the reputation
which woman earns for good run
ming depends very much upon the
value of the prize carried off.
Precisely so. That uncharita-
bottom of your heart. l know But
|
/ lottery drawing. but in the buying and
selling and the betting that follow,
and the opportunities for exercising
] ones observation and judgment; the
| rise and fall In the value Of likely fl
lies, as -firtations keenly watched
grow cooler or become more serious,
/ ger the Bulls and Bears of the Stock
u a n h.oI E.af, ! l, =
! day after ball or picnic is the time
/ of thing you would enjoy You should
take a dozen chances at least" y =
- 1t seems to me, for / was half
annoyed, though half amused, at all
,thisr--'a it seems to me that you young
,timorale philosophers, as you call your.
selves, have. not hit upon an amuse-
menti either very generous or, con-.
| siderate towards others, but rather
suggestive Of the fable Of the. idle
boys whodth rev stones to the danger
] and annoyance Of the frogs. What
say the fathers aud the brothers
Of the. fair Fpinsters to this little
Zone of the grandest, sciences of
life, old fellow, as you know, is to
adopt ones self,to the customs and
usages of the society into VIII oh we
| are threwn.a Let us hope that they
see the wisdom Of following this ex-
celIent philosophy. 3" OF COURSE" he
continued, in more serious tone,
we keep the thing tolerably quiet,
and have no desire to hurt the feel
ings of any one"
s" I've no sisters, either married or
single. nor indeed any female rela-
i tives at all here; but if had it would
not be very gratifying to me to think
4 that they might unconscIously be
aiding in the entertainment OF. a set
of id e young fellows" 1'.1 .'ea
90 =" Ii is not often" said Buckley,
that we ,hnd you riding the conven-
tional horse, but / must say you have
certainly got upon his back now Do
you suppose that. the matrimonial
chance OF prospects-the term is fear.
fully caddish, but for wanto better.
it must do-do you suppose that the
matrimonial chances, or prospects of
ones sisters at home are not specula-
ted upon 0andzdiseussed among their
acqu4intances there fully as much as
is the case here2 aud do you imagine
! thar there is less efgreal respeetoand
true chiyatTous feeling among us than
there iseamona the scandd- IA ngering
gossips OF an English Little Pedling-
toni No, my dear Cox, be liberal
and spasslonateIas you generally are,
aud don't be called to- reason By an
4 inexperienced grif like myself. How
Il ever, enough of this - Eli 0o.and tub,
i and we III brea fast for va l,no misc