davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Buchanan County bulletin and guardian. (Independence, Iowa) 1866-1869, 1867-03-19
oossip with Censrihusers..Dy JesA
Di1li0gss

No notis will be took-from this date af.
terwards-ov letters that haiut got postage
stamp onto them.
scfipt, and don't write much onto that.
Don't send . manuscript unless You can
read it yourself after it gets dry.
We pay, all the way up hill, from ten cents
to one dollar for contributions according 70
the heff.
And settlements made promptly at the end
Of next ensuing year.
Poetry and prose pieces are respectfully
solicited.
The highest market price pade for awful
.saleroad smashes, and clopements with 9th.
er mans wife.
No swearing aloud in our paper.
Isaac-Your article on frogs is received.
Itmade me laf like lightning.
Your idea that frogs might be increased
by propogashun," is bully.
Your idea that frogs was discovered by
Kristopher Columbus, in the year 1892" has
slipped my memory.
Yu also say that frogs grow more bob.
tailed - they grow older" This is too good
TO be entirely lost.
Noah-we very humbly dekline your casa
on the flood.
Your remarks might possibly lead one
more man to think - you do, and We don't
want our columns 10 be held responsible foI
| increasing the number Of phools.
The world has already got moro phooll
than there is any nesd of
There amt no doubt in mi mind but thai
the food was perfect success, and l hav,
thought that another just such one woult
| pay well in some sections Of the country.
Buchanan County bulletin and guardian. (Independence, Iowa) 1866-1869, 1867-03-19

The WINNEsm EK.-The Winnie
shiek Insurance company, Of Free.
port. has been raising quite . com.
motion in the ranks Of its policy hold.
ers. The officers Of the Winneshiek
are either little deficient in good
common sense, or they opine that
their policy holders are very deficient
Of those qualities. A short time since
the Secretary ofthe Company sent an
assessment to each Of the policy hold
ers, some Of which were fol the whole
amount Of the premium note. A few
paid this assessment, and . great
many did not. To those who did not
respond to the first call, second and
corrected" assessment, was s.nt,
which was paid by . small percen-
tage Of those who had not paid the
former assessment. A third and
fourth assessments were subsequently,
sent, and were paid by few. One
Of the members Of the company esti-
mates that il has received OVER SlOO,-
600 from the assessments made with
in the past few weeks. The whole af.
fair looks like q hug swindle, That
the concern is Of the "wild cat
species don't admit of q doubt.-Hcn.
~ Co. (lH.) Cr0nicie.
Buchanan County bulletin and guardian. (Independence, Iowa) 1866-1869, 1867-03-19
AwoMAN OF GOOD TASTE.

You see this lady turning cold
eye to the assusances Of shopmen and
the recommendation Of millincrs.
She cares not how original the pattern
may be, if il be ugly, or how recent a
shape, if it be awkward. Whatever
laws fashion dictates, she follows a
law of her own, and is never behind
it. She wears very beautiful things
which people generally suppose to be
fetched from Paris, or, at least, made
by French milIiner. but which as
often are bought at the nearest town
and made up by her own maid. Not
that her costume is either rich or
new; on the contrary, she wears
many cheap dress. but it il always
pretty. and many an old one, but it is
always good. She deals in no gaudy
confusion Of colors, nor does she ef.
feet studied sobriety but she eth
er refreshes you with . spirited con-
trast, or composes you with ajudicious
harmony. Not scrap Of tinsel or
trumpery appears upon her. She
puts no faith in velvet, or gilt buttons,
or twisted cording. She is quite
aware. however, that the garnish 10 as
important as the dress; all her inner
borders and headings are delicate and
fresh and should anything peep out
which is not intended to be seen, it is
quite a. much 80 as that which is.
After all, there is no great art either
in her fashions or her materials. The
secret consists simply in her knowing
the three grand unities Of dress-her
own station, her own age, and her
own points. And no woman can
dress we'll without il. After this we
need dot say that whoever is attract
ed by the costume will not be disap-
pointed in the wearer. She may not
be handsome nor accomplished, but We
will answer for her being even temper
ed, we'll informed, thoroughly sensible
and complete lady.-London Quar-
terly Rerie1c.
Buchanan County bulletin and guardian. (Independence, Iowa) 1866-1869, 1867-03-19
Trade 10 . Lietle Dull.''

We find the following spicy little sketch in
the Boston Commercial ButIstin. It forci-
bly illustrates the fact that trade IL little
dull" and also that that portion Of the busi-
ness community known as drumncrs," or
commercial travellers, despite their almost
inexhaustible resources and inveneion, are
often obliged to yield 10 the pressure OF these
stagnant times. The p1tteftn says:
One Of these gentlemen, who has recently
returned from mp for Thistle, Bros. l. Co.,
Of this city, III not show very large exhib-
Il of order to balance the liberal expense
sccoun, allowed him by the firm, and Mr.
Th;.~e, after looking over his return, said :
" Mr.. Rstaplan, am afraid you did not
approach the dealers in the right way
used 10 be very successful in this line. Now,
inst suppose me to be Mr.. Bigher, Of Sellout,
ILL.,, and show me the way you introduce the
house."
Accordingly, Mr.. Rataplan stepped out Of
the counting room and re.entered, hat in
hand, inquiring, " Is Mr.. Bigher in p
" That's my name,' said Thistle, urbane
ly.
MY name is Rataplan, sir; ] represent
the house Of Thistle, Brothers L Co., Of Bos.
tom Thistle, in his character Of Western
merchant, here rose, offered the salesman .
chair, and expressed his pleasure with see.
ing him.
!" l am stopping with Overcharge At the
Stiekem House, and have . fine unbroken
lot Of samples, which would like to show
you think we can offer you some special I'D.
vsntages, etc." And Rataplan delivered
himself Of . neat speech in professional
style.
'"very well, very WE'LL" said Thistle; "I
don't see but that you understand the way to
get at customers"
"Excuss me, Mr.. Thistle" said Rataplan
am afraid you don't understand the style
Of Western merchants just now suppose you
exchange places with me ami repeat this re.
hearsal."
Certainly said Thistle, and picking up
his hat he stepped out. Returning, he found
Rataplan with the chair tilted back, hat
cooked fercely over the right eye, bis heels
planted on Thistle's polished desk, and q
lighted cigar between his teeth.
Thistle looked little staggered, but new
crtheless he commenced-
as Mr.. Bigher in2"
"Yes, he is, responded Ratsplan, blowing
. cloud Of pure Connecticut into Thistle's
eyes, who In - are your
represent the house of Thistle, Bros. 4
Co.," said the astonished employer, cough
ing out about . quart of smoke from his
throat.
" The blazes you do; are you one Of that
concern?'
"No, sir, am not" said Thistle.
"Well, it's d-d lucky for you that you
are not for r re had two drummers IN one
customer in my store for the last two months,
and if l could get hold Of one Of the blasted
fools that send 'em out here at this time I'm
burned if | wouldn't boot him clean out of
the town Of Sellout."
"-That'll do, thst'll do, Mr. Rataplan,'
said Thistle II have no doubt you did the
best you could for the interests of the house.
Trade 10 Q little dull"
Buchanan County bulletin and guardian. (Independence, Iowa) 1866-1869, 1867-03-19
a Delicase AssacAnens.

Court was in session, and amid the multi.
llicity Of business which crowded upon the
sherif, he stopped at the door Of beautiful
sido~ on the sunny side Of thirty, who by
he way, had often bestowed melting glances
On the aforesaid sheriff. He was admitted
end the widow appeared. The confusion
and fright which the arrival of her visitor oc.
cssioned, set Oft to great advantage the cap.
txating charms of the widow NJ. Her
cheeks bore the beautiful blended tints Of the
apple blossom her lips resembled the rose>
buds, upon which the morning dew yet lin,
gsred, and her eyes were like quivers of Gu,
pd; and the glances of love and tenderness,
with which they we're filled, resembled ar.
rsws which only invited "beau" (pardon
tie pun) to do full execution. After q few
common place remarks, Madam said the
natter-of.fact sheriff, have an attachment
fer you."
A deeper blush than usual mantled the
cleeks Of the fair widow while the glance
OF her downcast eyes were centered upon
her beautiful foot, which half concealed by
flowing drapery, patted the floor. She with
equal candor, replied:
Sir, the attachment is reciprocal"
For some time the sheriff maintained IN
astonished silence, and at length said:
" Madam, will you proceed to court :"
Proceed to court" replied the lady, with
merry laugh, then shaking her head, she
said: no, sir, though this is leap year, l
will not take advantage Of the license there.
in granted to my sex, and therefore greatly
prefer that you should proceed to court"
But, madam, the justice is waiting"
" Let him wait; am not disposed to hur.
~ matters in so unbecoming o manner; be.
side, sir, when the ceremony is performed,
wish you to understand that greatly prefer
. minister to . justice Of the peace
A light dawned upon the sherifrs brains.
madam" said be, rising from his chair
With solemn dignity, "tbers is great mis-.
take here my language has been misunder>
stood the attachment Of which speak was
issued from the Office Of Squire -, and
commands me to bring you instantly before
him 10 answer contempt of court in disobey.
ing : subp1ns in the case Of Smith versus
James,"
Buchanan County bulletin and guardian. (Independence, Iowa) 1866-1869, 1867-03-19
ADVICE TO TRE LADIES.

Halls Journal Of Health contains
the following very sensible advice:
Ladies, walk more; take long
walks get tired, no matter how tired;
muscles in any well woman, from
eighteen to forty-eight, only proves
they need to be used Habby muscles
also prove that the system lacks tone.
They are ike violin with the keys
loose-the strings are without vibra-
ton and the instrument is dear.
Wear the best OF calf half boots,
ladies' exrcise with them till you arc
well enough and brave enough to 60
out, well clad, in all weather. Wear
no rubbers, if you can avoid it. They
are bad for the feet. If you need to
paddle in slush and soft snow Of
spring, put on rubbers, for the feet
must be kept warm and dry. but use
hem as little as possible. Wear,
when out Of doors, solid shoes. Take
all the open air exercise you can by
walking, and you will be in your old
age, as fine looking as You are now:
and. moreover, the next generation
viii be as proud Of you as the young
fry of Old England are of their state
ly mothers. We have seen in Hyde
Park, London, on q fair day. hund-
reds Of grandmothers fresh and really
handsome and scores of mothers
with manageable daughters, which.
had we been in the marrying line our
selves, We should hardly have known
which to Ihave popped the question
to, so dazzling was the real beauty
and worth of both. Our American
ladies can possess these charms, and
carry them iuto the age OF three
score, if they will walk more into the
open air, and inhale daily the health
giving properties which can be obtain.
ed in wearing out couple Of pairs Of
tip-top ten dollar gaites per year.
We hold that one ten dollar pair Of
walking shoes will save twenty doc
tors visits at FIVE dollars each. Take
your choice, ladies.
Buchanan County bulletin and guardian. (Independence, Iowa) 1866-1869, 1867-03-19

We believe there is no city in the world
where men and women walk as much a.
here. The size Of the city, its peculiar form
tie overcrowding of cars and stages, the very
habits Of the people tend to make popular
the exercise Of walking. The necessary fy.
ing about during business hours, each day,
covers more miles than all the walking done
in dozen counties in the interior. A New
York merchant, broker, banker, lawyer, edi.
tor, takes, as his ordinary walk, promen.
ade, which makes his country cousins dead
lame. And New York belle will walk
more miles in a day, and blush to find il
fame, than any non-professional from the ru.
raj districts. Ladies in the country ride, ard
the more the country is in excess, the
less they walk. In the rural districts proper
they walk not At all, except to an occasional
summer picnic, . half mile away. In the
villages, TO 60 . single mile would be to
double the length of all the streets. In some
cities mile takes one to the suburbs. Here
ladies think nothing Of doing TIE distance
from Murray Hill to Canal street, good two
and half miles, and repeat, to say nothing
Of crossing and e-crossing four or Eve ave.
nues. Look 1t Broadway on any day, and
1t Fifth avenue on Sunday, with their cease
less tide Of promenaders. If the CONNER.
cial and professional men Of New York 60
home By cars and stages, who are they that
crowd Broadway from to 6 o'clock in the
afternoon? Any one familiar with the faces
Of our citizens can pick out the solid men BY
thousands, while the stages 60 BY filed with
the strangers ak hotels, people in special
hurry, the lame and the lazy, and those who
have already walked till they are tired, and
altogether mere fraction Of the promens-
ders.
Il Is the common remark of visitors in
New York, from any other part Of the coun.
try, that their friends here walk them to
DEATH" They take naturally to . car or .
stage to 20 from Wall street to the St. Mich.
olas, or from Niblo's to Union Square.
Few New Yorkers would think " such .
waste OF stamps, Or OF riding single mile
when it WAS possible to walk it. Central
Park is buriened With promenaders. 1t is
no short walk 70 20 from the entrance to the
Terrace, or the end of the Ramble and re-
turn, yet this is common exercise of park
visitors, and many Of them have walked to
the park from their homes. The absence of
CIR and stage routes across towns m 3D.
solute bar to riding in that direction. Yet
the cross streets have their walking popula-
ton at al hours. It is impossible to live in
New York and not walk. Few there are,
who leave their houses q all, who do not
walk At least two miles day, and those who
"do sedsntary work" are the FIRST to glove
themselves for the long stretch up town. If
they live in Brooklyn they must walk to the
ferry, and they have further walk on the
other side. Nhes the theatres close, the
streets are again crowded; and only . small
portion 6nd stage or car room. The large
majority take to their {" trotters." CONNER.
ciol Advertiser.
Buchanan County bulletin and guardian. (Independence, Iowa) 1866-1869, 1867-03-19
THE CLOSING SCENE.


1.-THE following is pronounced by Chi Wee
American poem ever written1
Within the realms Of lsaAess trees,
The russet year iphaled the dreamy air,
Like some tanned reaper in his hour of ess,
When all the fields are lying brown asd Ass.
The gray barns looking from their hasy Ills,
Oer the dun waters in the Wales,
Sent down che air greeting to the mjAs,
on the dull thunder Of alternate 6aik.
All sights are melloved, and all sounds subdued
The hills seemed further and the stream sang low
As in q dream the distant wcsdman hewed
His wintry log with many mun1ed blow.
The eH battled forest, srewhiIe armed with gold
Their banners bright with every martial blue,
Now stood like some sad, beaten hosts u OLD,
w;sharswn AIsr IN Times remotest blss.
On sonbrs wings the vuiturs tried his fight;
The dove scarce heard his signing mates COM
plant;
And, like star slow drowning in the light
The village church vsne seemed to pale and Il mt
The sentinel cock upon the hill side crew
Crew thrics-md all vas ssiller than before;
Silent till some replying warder blew
His allen horn and then wss heard NO more.
Where erst the jay, within the slm's tallcrcst
Mads garulous trouble around her uniedged
young;
And where the oriole hung Der svaying sect
By every light wind like . censor swung.
Whore sung the noisy martins Of the ssyps,
The bssy swallows circling ever near
foreboding, ~ the rustic mind believes,
An early harvest and plenteous ysax.
Where every bird that walked the vernal last
Shook the sweet slumber from its wings atznorn
To warn the reaper Of the rosy east;
All Was now sunless, empty and forlorn.
Alone, from out the stubble, Pipcd the quil
And croaked the crow thro' all the dreamy gloom
Alone, the peasant, drumming in his vale,
Made echo in the distant cottage loom,
There was no bud, no bloom upon the bowers
The spiders waved treir thin shrouds night BY
night;
The thistle down, the only ghost Of flowers,
Sailed slowly by-passed noiselcss out Of sigtt.
And N this-in this most dreary air,
And whore the woodbine shed upon the porcl
Its crimson leaves, as if the year stood there,
Firing the cir with its invsrtsd touch.
Amid all this, tAe center Of the scene,
The white haired matron with monotonous tread
Piled the swift wheel, and with her joyous mem,
Sat like fate and watched the flying tread
She had known sorrow. He had walked with her,
OF supped, and broke with her ashed crust,
And in the dead leaves still she heard the stir
Ofhts thick mantle trailing in the dust.
While yet his cheek WAS bright with summer
vr>, >oc-H~v .,,,n, n,.or>I .cJ ~ -~v> ha. III.
Buchanan County bulletin and guardian. (Independence, Iowa) 1866-1869, 1867-03-19

They are bold. courageous, proud
and eager after ever kind of knovl-
edge. A gentlman gave . workna,
Bramah lock to put on box; It
was not discovered until some time
afterward. and only then by the alb
sence Of the name, that the locf had
been initiated. and, as the workman
confessed, the original kept as . pat
tern. There is steamer (paddle,)
which used three years ago to rum
between Nagasaki and Jeddo, 600
miles, whose engines and boilers, and
every part Of her machinery, we're
made Of copper. She vas built by
doctor in Jeddo, whose only guide was
Dutch description of . stesm en-
gine, translated into Japanese. An
American gunnery officer wss sent
over in 1889. in the Powhattan, to
teach them gunnery. He vas court
eously received, and then taken over
to the arsenal at Jeddo. He returned
to the ship. saying "he had been
taught lesson instead of having to
teach"
In many Of the arts and manufac-
lures they excel rs; their beautiful
castings in bronse would puzzle the
most experienced European workmen.
Specimens have been shown to clever
workmen Who have confessed they
could not initiate them; though they
do not know how to blow glass, there
are samples which would rival in bril-
liancy any made 10 England. The
French Minister had large bah, 20
clear, and Of such perfect color, that
he believed it to be gigantic sap
phire, and bought it for good round
en... T1.:- r-p~. AsAzSe.ssavus W
leather are perfect; their paper vat.
erproof coats are bought by the cap
tains Of ships for their exposed boats
crews; their own clocks are good.
and they have imitsted our watches,
they walk about with "pedometers "
attached to their belts, and they are
not backward in copper-plate engray-
ing and perspective. Their china is
far superior to the Chinese.
The country abounds in coal,
though they only use that found close
to the surface but even that, . sort
of bituminous scale, ia good. In gold
and silver they could almost rival
Mexico and Australia; iron, copper
and tin are found in profusion. An
Englishman at Yokohama gave .
Japanese . piece Of English cotton
shirting; in q few days the man
brought back two pieces, and the for.
mer had much difficulty il saying
which was his, 20 closely had It been
minated.
Buchanan County bulletin and guardian. (Independence, Iowa) 1866-1869, 1867-03-19

PLAIN SPEEcH.-On trial for an assault,
at the assizes, some years ago, . medical
witness, in giving his evidence informed the
court that on examining the prosecutor, he
found him suffering from . severe contution
of the integuments under the left orbit, with
great extravasation Of blood, and ecchymo-
sis in the surrounding cellular tissue, which
was in tume6ed state. There was also
considerable abrasion Of the cuticle.
Judge" You mean, suppose, that the
msn had black eyef
Witness. Yes"
Jadge.--"T Then Why not say 50 at oncs? =
Buchanan County bulletin and guardian. (Independence, Iowa) 1866-1869, 1867-03-19

A funny story il going the rounds
in Paris; A lady in the first sociefy
recently vas oblige to dismiss her
nurse on account Of m excess Of fre-
men and private soldiers too often re-
peated. After choosing as . success
or to this criminal 4 very pretty girl,
the lady. explaining why the first Vas
sent away enjoined it on the second
not to do likewise. She admitted that
she shouldn't. {" / can endure . great
DEAL" said the lady, but soldiers in
the kitchen / sr0n'f endure" After
. week or eight days, the lady came
one morning in the kitchen. opened .
cupboard and discovered youthful
military character. "Oh. nam !"
cried the girl, frightened. /" give you
my word l never saw that soldier be-
fore in all my life, he must have been
one Of the old ones left over by the
other girl"
A dinner was given near Paris the
other day. of which the principal dish-
es were shark, horse, dog and rat.
Sentimental youth" Ny dear girl.
viii you share my lot for life ?"
Practical girl" How many acrcs
are there in your lot. siry"
l viii extend no other mercy to
you, said . prince to jester, Who fer
. fault was condemned tn death.
!. except permitting you to choose
what kind Of death you viii die. De-
eide Immediately, for viii be obeyed.
IL adore your clemency said the
jester, g. choose to die Of old age
Buchanan County bulletin and guardian. (Independence, Iowa) 1866-1869, 1867-03-19

Great men direct the eveuts of
their time. wise men take advantage
Of them; weak men are carried along
in their current.
We pause sometimes in q path to
scan our own footprints when it is to
late to remodel or rctrace them.