The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1867-03-15

What is the difference between a bat
tered dime and a new penny. Nine
cents.
The worst organ-grinder- hollow
tooth that plays the deuce.
Aeas>iz tells about sort of fi>h i'm
Brazil which can climb trees. They are
probably peculiar TO the tropical climb,
\ poor man, who had been i'll. being
asked 10y gentleman if he had taken any
remedy, said. No, but have taken lots
of physic-'
The following is probably the worst
conunlrum ever perpetrlted Why is a
dogs tail ike an old man Because it l.
/ in-iirln.
At an agricultural dinner a f;lrmer pre-
sent gave a. his toast-"rhe game OF
fortune Shuttle the cards aS You will,
spades must VIII.
An old lady inquired al one of the rail-
way stations what time the 7.45 train
would start, and was told al quarter 10
eight BLESS me- she exclaimed. ..vou
are always changing the time on this
line
Mrs. h, after expressing her love for
her Young children, added, tenderly,
And how DO Won ike labie>. Mr. Lamb
His answer, immediate, almost precipiiate
Ia L. I'LL
LAn lri>hman WAS once asked TO define
an Irish ball; 10 which he replied.
Whenever you see two COWS living down
in 4 field, lhe one illat's standing up Is a
bull" This very lucid explanation viii
! 10.
/ \ grim, hard-ilc;l,iel Old Judge. after
hearing 4 ilowerv discourse from a pre;cil-
iicus youn- barri>ter, advised him 10
pluck out the feathers from the wings of
hiS imagination and stick them in the tail
of hi> judment-
The difference between Winters new
poem and 4 Massachusetts, >chool-lnar7n'
/ l. that ore Is The Tent on The Beach,
the ether bent on the teach.
\ teacher said TO a little girl at school:
III a naughty girl should hurt yon, like a
good girl YOU would forgive her, wouldnt
Yen = "le>. nnrm,' she replied. '.if |
couldn't catch her
An Irish gentleman thus accounts for
the fact OF his countrymen making so
many bulls; Il cannot rell. if it Is not the
effect of climate fancy, if an English
man was born in Ireland he would make
Just as MANY
Rize :gly. work hard and laic. live on
what vou can't sell. give nothing awa.and
if va don't die riici, and 90 10 the devil. WI
may sue me for dama.eS-J Billings.
1t has been. .ascertaineIl, SAYS a eontempo-
rary, that people who pay the printer
promptly are seldom struck 10y lightning.
If this l. 4 bona li,le iacl, We have i'm our
minis eye few who ou-ht TO procure
lightning rods inSianier.
This veriiable story Is told OF a brigit
little girl who. attending Sunday School
for The first time, was asked --who went
into ille lions den - The little one ap-
pearIng puzzled ami rot answering. ihe
teacher commenced Ia spell 10 awaken the
childS recolleciion--.D-a-n.' Il can tell
now." exclaimed the three wear old. all
>miles--'it was Dan Rice
Archbishop Whately in conversation
with friend remarked, 1T is no wonder
that some English people have a taste for
persecution on account of religion, since
Ii Is the first lesson that most are taught
IN their nurseries His friend doubted
his statement and denied that he had been
taught ii. Are you sure = said Dr.
Wiately; ''what do you think OF this:
~''ld Daddy Longl,E,s pn,ly a, he ynagons,
Take himby the lef Lee and ihrO~ hn down STAIR 49,
\ physician in Brid-ewater, Mass.
was recently called 10 prescribe for 4 some
wha. illiterate old lady, and wrote pre-
scipiion for the apOthecary TO put up.
with the Latin formula. "Ole. .Tec. As"
being an abl,reviaiion of -Dleum Jecaris
Asseili,' or, IN plain English, cod liver oil.
The medicine WAS procured, taken, and
the lady recovered her health. \ neigh
bOr paId her visit after her recovery. and.
expressing surprise at her improved oonli-
ton, inquired the secret of 50 rapid re-
storation- why" said the old lady. lift
ing both hands in grateful enthusiasm, at
was that JelntJal medicine, the OIL Of
ydck,tS.''
WHERE DID THAT MAN GO To I'm Z
certain hotel in Rutland, there is employ
ed a bar lender who Is in the habit of
taking his tod pretty freely, but al
ways makes If point never to drink in
the presence of his employer \ few
days ago, while he was in the act Of
drawing his tod preparatory 10 taking
a drink, his employer came into the bar
room rather unexpectedly Finding him
self caught in the act, he sat the tumb-
ler and lis contents on the Counter. and
casting his eyes around with look of
surprise exclaimed, ..prlzu IN tlu,cl,r qH
that man that ordered that drink 90 Tor
Tie OrL