The Van Buren press., 1867-09-06

DEAD BRoKE.-We found a man seated
on curb stone, near the post Office. last
night, muttering to himself apparently, as
there was no one else to mutter to. We
/ feli constrained 10 ask HIM what he va;
doing there?
"Hain't dom no,hin'." was the reply
"Where do you belong" ?"
"Don't b'long, nowhere, and nowher
don't b'long to me"
"Who are you 90
"Tm Broke"
"Wcll, suppose you are broke. you've
got name, haven't you? What is it ??
Il tell ye I'm Broke-Dead Broke
that's my name, and that's my natur'
My father was Broke before me. If h,
hadn't been, wouldn't be Broke now--at
least. not SO bad. Ny mother was Peasc.
ly. but she wanted husband and she got
Broke-that'S my dad-and Broke got me
I've been Broke ever since
For few moments the unhappy D.
Broke buried his face in his hands, and
seemed lost in the most dolelul reflections
Then, raising his head, he exclaimed bit,
terly:
~ wish had been born a coltr
"Why do you wish you had been born
a colt ?"
Because colt ain't broke until he is
two or three years old | was Broke the
moment saw the light, and never got
over it. Ii is hard to be broke so young"
How did your parents come to call you
Dead Broke p"
"Well, ye see, as soon as | was born
something seemed to tell me that had got
to be Broke all my life, unless | could get
my name changed by act of Legislature,
and that, you know, would be an impossi-
bility.'
How an impossibility o.
"Are you such a blockhead as to sup
pose that man can get anything through
the Legislature when he is broke I'
You are right. Go on
When the conviction forced itself upon
my infant brain, confused as 1t was by re-
cent experiences, that must be Broke all
my life, | felt that there was nothing left
to live for, and lost all consciousness at
once. { have found only part Of it since. }
He is dead" cried my mother, wiring
ing her hands.
Yes" groaned my father, dead
Broke y
Il revived, alas bnt Dead Broke be-
came my name, and | have been dead broke
ever since"
"My name has been fatal to me all
through life The smallest boy in schoo
always broke me in playing marbles.
broke more windows than any other boy in
base ball. always broke down at recta,
tions, and had my head broke every day by
the SchooImaster. When | left school
went to clerk it for broker. One day
there was a heavy deficit in the accounts
/ was afraid he might think that | hal
something to do with it--So II broke
They caught me though, and put me il
Jail, but l broke out"
"Out of jail?'
"No, d--n it, broke om wiM tie small
por"
What did you do next ~
{" After the court had disposed of my
case, | was allowed to go into the broker
age business again"
" How was that ?"
Il broke stone in the penitentiary, do,
on it After got out l broke everything
broke my promise, broke the Sabbath
and broke the pledge
Were you ever married o.
Yes (sighing deeply. Matrimon,
broke me up worse than anything else
My wife was regular ripper She brok
up my furniture and the dishes, nearl
broke my back with a Aat-ron, and fnall
broke my heart"
"By running away p
No, indeed, by sticking to me.
You have had hard time of it,
=" All owing to my name. But bad as
dislike it, it's mine came by it honestly
lou wouldn't think anybody else wou
want to be in my place, would ye? bu
there are thousands Of imposters all owe
the country, trying to pass themselves O.
for me-"
In what way?''
+" When they tell their cieditors tha
they are Dead broke. -
There was another pause, during whic
the unhappy poSsessor of an unioytunat
name could be heard to sob. At length h
broke out
at will be a simple and fitting in. Grip
ton for my tombstone, though"
"What -