The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1867-05-01
a Champion for Old Adam.

a fellow with the profane signature OF 4uba
Dam, thakes up the cudgel for Adam, who
formerly lived in garden somewhere in the
East, and defends him in the Louisville Courier
in the following quaint style:
Entertaining these views. of course dissent
from the continuous orthodox eursing cursing
bestowed upon our first parent for his little
affair in the Garden of Eden, termed a fall -
He could not help it, and ergo, ought not to
be damned for it.
You must remember that Eve was young
woman Of great personal attractions, belong
ing to the first family Not being given to
flirting nor fashion. nor, in short, to any of the
modern female folics. she had, doubtless, be-
slowed much thought upon the subject OF the
forbidden fruit. = Having considered 1t well,
she came to the conclusion that she would not
give Adam for Paradise unless she could
know something about how she was enjoying
herself. The moment woman makes up her
mind to do a thing, that thing is halt done
Accordingly, Eye selected proper apple, and
asked Adam to join her in eating 1t. She
was the wife OF his bosom-the Joy of his
heart-the apple of his eye-his darling little
honey bug; pure as a flake of descending
ksnew,-- and as beautiful as an angels dream
How could he refuse her anything? He
couldn't and he didn't; and |, for one. have
never blamed him since l fell IN love with a
red headed girl at school. No doubt it is
quite disagreeabe to BE- damned ; butt Chris
,ianity had to be subjected to such a test, you
would never fnd sure-enough man in heaven
Why, Mr. Haldeman, make it your own
case for the sake of argument. Suppose your
self in a garden-a bower. surrounded with
luxuriant vines and shaded with rustllng leaves
the air laden with the perfume OF flowers,
and by your side the prettiest woman In the
world. She wears no waterfall. No white
paint is on her face; no carmlne on her lips,
and no grease is on her hair. She is not nearly
cut in two with corsets, and you know that
her gentle bosom harbors neither malice nor
cotton. She has no inquisitive old aunts no
big brothers practising at MARKS, nor yet any
little ones peeping through the vines. In love-
Illness she exceeds the widest creations of the
most imprisoned poet. Suppose-just sup
pose, you know-that you are madly in love
with her She reaches up her delicate hand
plucks delicious pear, and bites it little,
Just enough to sweeten it, and then asks YOU
to. Wouldn't you doit? ALL
""Tbe thou gavest to he with nae, she gave ne
| OF the Tree, ana alu eat. loeHeso i'i-AI.
should say SO, old boy and if you had
not, would have disowned you for a proyen
tor And had any one of your white choked
censors been in your place, he not only would
have i" did eat," but he would have gnawed
down the blessed tree itself-ah
BY the way, see that Miss Virginia Penny
in one of her recent delightful and able treat
ses, suggests that the forbidden fruit might
not have been apples or pears, but that it NIGH
have been a stack of wheat with grains as
large as hen eggs, With great ditidence anc
respect beg to dissent from this opinion. II
the. first place it is unnatural to suppose that {
woman, NATURALLY fond of green apple) sur
rounded by the finest of every specimen known
to the genealogical world-t is unnatural,
say, to suppose that she would turn from al
these delicious fruits and go to feeding on raw
wheat. The only plausible evidence in supper
Of such theory is The fact that she had beer
forbidden to do it. But this hypothesis is 81
unnatural and unyallant wi.hal, that l reject i
at once.
But why cavil about the character of thu
forbidden fruit? Whether it was wheat, Q
apples, or gooseberres. or watermelons. it mat
ttfs not to US it did our business most effec
tually.