davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1867-09-19

TIE Will or THE DRUNKAnD.-T
die wrctched sinner, and | leave to tho
world a worthless reputation, wicked
example, and memory only Gt to per,
ish.
leave to my parents sorrow and
bitterness Of soul all the days of their
lives.
I leave to my brothers and SISTERS
shame and grief, and reproach Of their
acqua;ntances.
leave to my wife a widowed and
brokon heart, and life Of lonely atrug-
Cling and suffc.jng.
leave to my children a tainted name,
ruined position, a pitilul ignorance,
and the mortifying recollection Of a
father who by his life disgraced human
ity, and at his premature death joined
the great company of those who are ncv.
er to enter the kingdom Of God.
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1867-09-19

WHAT AFFECTED HIM.-When DR..
Dodge, an eccentric physician, was lee,
turing through this State on the evil of
tea and coffee, he happened to meet one
morning at the breakfast table a witty
son of Erin, for the better class. Con
versation turned to the Doctors favor.
ite subject, and he addressed our friend
- follows:
'Well,' said the doctor, if I con =
vince you that they are injurious to your
health will you abstain from their use p
'Sure and l will, sir
How often do you use tea and cof.
fee p asked the doctor.
Morning and night, SIR
Well, said the doctor, do you ever
experien ce a slight dizziness of the
brain upon going to bed
Yes, indeed I do replied Erin.
'And a sharp pain through the tens
pies, in aud about the eyes, in the morn.
ing =
'Troth I do, SIR
Well said the doctor, with an air
of confidence and assurance in his man.
ner, { that is the tea and coffee
is it indade; faith and am thank,
full. l alwas thought it was whisky
that Gid the same
The company roared with laughter,
and the doctor quietly retired.
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1867-09-19

DRovERs VS. Fops.-Dlnncr was
spread in the cabin cf that peerless
steamer, the "New World" aud a
splendid company were assembled about
the table Among the passengers thus
prepared for gastronomic duty was a
little creature Of the genus fop, decked
daintily as an early butterfly, with kids
of irreproachable whiteness, miracu.
lous" nektie, and spiderslike quizzing
glass on his nose. The delicate animal
tured his head affectedly aside with
"Waitah ?"
"Sah?"
"Bwing me pwopellah Of a female
woostah."
"Yis, Sab !"
And, waitah, tell the steward to
wub my plate with a vegetable called
onion, which will give a delicious fla
vaw to my dinnah."
While the refined exquisite was Civ
ing his order, jolly Western drover
had listened with open mouth and pro.
tuding eyes. When the diminutivo
creature paused, he brought his fist
down upon the table with force that
made everything bounce, and then
thundered out
Here you gaul darned ace Of
spades !"
Yis, sah."
Bring me a tkundering big plate Of
skunk's gizzards "
Aud, you old ink pot, tuck horse
blanket under my chin, and rub me
down with brick backs while I feed"
The poor dandy showed a pair Of
straight coat tails instauter, and the
whole table Joined in q tremendous
roar"
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1867-09-19
getetted nuetrv.
ASK ME NOT TO DRINK.

Fair lady, ask me not to drink
A toast to thee to might;
For broken VOWS and blasted hopes
Expose the demons blight.
Put back the wine-I dare not taste
Putback the sparkling bowl
For who hath quaffed draught so deep,
And reached blissful goal
Oh askme not, there lies within
Apoison deep and dire
And every drop b ut serves the more
To fan the latent fire.
Each draught will quen ch my sense of guilt
And blast youths budding hope;
Each drop will sink me deeper still,
In mortalnight to grOpe.
Oh press me not to touch the cup,
Within are glaring eyes,
And starving widows, hungry babes,
And freezing orphans cries;
Whom the Gods destroy they first made drunl
Then ask me not to drink;
Oh tempt me not, but spare my soul
From earth's eternal brink.
have three sisters, mildly fair,
Like angels round my way:
Where love is like the stars that shine
With undiminished ray:
Shall they be doomed to see me fail,
Aprey to maddening drink;
And sundered be the love that binds
Or snap the golden links
Another sleeps where sadly waive
The willows in the vale;
And midnight whispers from the sky
Come to the sighing gale;
She passed away as summers breath,
In lite's incipient bloom;
Then tempt me not; would not mar
Her slumbors in the tomb.
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1867-09-19

WITTY A gentleman was &osogis
b'ng to Douglas Jcrroll the story Of his
courtship and mar riacc-how his wife
had been brought up in a convent, and
was on the point of taking the voil,
when his presence burst upon her eli.
raptured sight, and she accepted him as
her husband. Jcrroll listened to the
end Of the story, and then quietly re.
marked, "Sho simply thought you bet.
ter than muR."
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1867-09-19

A certain Judge who was notorious
for carrying the precise and formal hab
its of the bench into private lite, was
one day entertaining some friends at his
table, and asked a magistrate who was
present, lfhe would take some venison.
Thank you, my Lord, was the reply,
Il am going to take some boiled chick
en- THAT, sir, testify answered the
Judge, is no answer to my question, l
ask you again you will take some ven
ison, sir, and L will trouble you to say
yes or no, without furshcr preyanca.
tion,'
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1867-09-19

Glow DOES TIE pRl.rrr J1vrPu
The following is from an old number
of the Utica Tntclligoncer, published
September 1st, 1929. BY beginning
at the II in the center Of the table piyen
below, the words, " How does the Priu-
ter livc?' (about equal to the course
be has to look for living, } may be read
two thousand ways:
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Vi Ire tn r p Printerliv
lr n i r Z c h oPrintorli
II c tnir p h ePrintcrl
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tn irP c h $ ocstheprint
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ir z h IS c o wd docsthcPri
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+ b S d W uowdoestheP q
r p Ii IS odwow wdocsthopr
ir i h S 0 d W docsthcPri
mir 2 h t 3 cod oesthePrin
tn ir p h tseo oesth Print
etnirP h t s osth Printe
retnirP e h is t h Printer
C tnir P h h Printcrl
lr c t n rP h @ Printerli
Vi c t n r p G Printerliv
eVi lr c n rP tcrlivo
Delinquent subscribers can give US
the answer.
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1867-09-19

An old woman died lately at st.
Hellers, France, who was supposed to
be in very destitute condition. Upon
her boxes being ovorhauled after her
death, there were discovered: Fifty.
six silk and stuff dresses, thirty shawls,
one hundred and eight night dresses,
one hundred and twenty-seven ohemi-
ses, twenty-nine flannel petticoats, forty.
eight towels. one hundred and eight
pocket handkerchief, eighty.four pairs
of stockings, quantity of print dresses
not made up, torty-two ties and nocker-
chiefs, sixty nightcaps, twenty four
aprons, and twenty-three dress jackets.
Many of the articles are quite new.
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1867-09-19
How do We know that Pharoah was

How do we know that Pharoah was
carpenterl Why, he made Joseph a
ruler.
The most difficult operation in the
practice of surgery is said to be taking
the jaw out of a woman The fellow
who said that must be an old bachelor
of the large blue sort.
= Have your cabbages tender heads?'
asked woman Of costermonger.
'They can'thave anything else marin,
was the reply, for they've been with
me crying about the streets all the
morning,
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1867-09-19

The colonel of an Alabama regi-
ment was famous for having everything
done in military style. Once, while
field officer Of the day, and going his
tour Of inspection, he came on sentinel
from the 1lth Mississippi regiment, sit.
ting down fiat upon his post, with his
gun taken entirely to pieces.
Colonel. Don't you know that SEN
tinel while on duty should always keep
on his feet.
Sentinel (without looking up.) That's
the way we used to do when the war
commenced; but that's played out long
ago.
Colonel (bcginning to doubt if the
man was on duty) Are you sentinel
here
Sentinel. Well, I'm sort of SEN
tinel.
Colonel. Well, I'm sort of officer
of the day.
Sentinel. Well, if you'll hold on till
l sort OF get my gun together, I'll give
you sort of salute.
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1867-09-19

A fellow went, few weeks since
into the store of fashionable milliner.
Have you any skirts ?" asked he.
Plenty of all kinds"
what do you ask cord " said the
chap.
A cord ?" replied the woman.
"Yes, want about a cord Up in
our diggins the patticoats has gin out.
| see ye advertise corded skirts and
| thought while my hand was in I'd
take what you had corded up
The miliuor tainted.
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1867-09-19

The earliest tubular bridge, 'the
bridge Of the nose,'
When is a storm like fish after a
hook Z When it is going to a-bate.
What most resembles pretty girl
bathing! A diving bell (e).
1t takes 10000 bushels of oysters
to supply the city of London annually.
The sales of wheat in Toledo for
three days, recently, exceeded 100000
bushels.
The actress who bore off a charac-
ter in triumph returned it before the
next performance.
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1867-09-19

A good thing is told OF the Prosi-
dent in Raleigh. While responding in
a feeling manner TO the welcome given
him he used the expression let IL,
my friends, repair the breaches "--2Hl
before he could add made by the war;"
an old woman exclaimed, with perfect
delight, bless the dear man, he has
come home again to work at his old
trade"
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1867-09-19

A SHORT time ago at school in
Newark, dur ing a lesson on the animal
kingdom, the tcacncr put the following
question:
Can any boy name to me an animal
Of the order edentata--a front toothlcss
animal
A boy, whose face beamod with plea
sure at the prospect of good mark, re.
piled, " I can"
Well, what is the animal?" o.
My Grandmother;" replied the
boy.
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1867-09-19

REMEDY FOR SORE EYES II CAT
TLE.-I have tried the following re-
ccipe often, and lave never known it to
fail in curing inaamcd eyes in cattle and
horses flake a small handful OF tobac.
co and pour Boiling water over it, and
let it steep until it is pretty shoag.-
Apply it with piece Of sponge once a
day, and if the eye is very bad twice
may be necessary.
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1867-09-19

A HAPPY CHANGE.-Alrs. Rugs, a
widow, having taken Sir Charles Price
for second husband, and being asked
by friend how she liked the change,
replied:
"Oh, l have got rid of my old Rugg
for good Price "
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1867-09-19

a CLIECHER- An old "soak" wants
to kHsw If water viii destroy boots, what
must be ,s r,artl. effects on the deli
cate linings Of the stomach ? He is
afraid to try it.
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1867-09-19

"A very sensible woman, who is GO
ing to Europe, desires when her hus-
baud's name and her own are published
IN the list of passengers, 1t shall be
Mr.--and wife, not lady, he
goes abroad with his own lawful wife,
and nobody else.
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1867-09-19

"A prudent young woman in Provi.
Gcnce, who looked under .he bed before
she reposed thereon, discovered large
and itelligent negro hidden there.
Arizona miner., 1867-12-21

Nor CoNQUERED.-The bold Wallapais, it would seem, are not yet conquered. MT. Hardy, who ought to be good judge of h. dian character was, recently, of the opinion that this tribe of Indians was whipped, but it would appear as if they could stand little more whipping They have been on the rampage again, on the Hardyyille road, not withstanding the many sound drubbings Ma jor Prices command has given them in the last three or four months. We admire their spirit, but d-n their judgment. They ought to know better than to cut upso If the cusses would behave themselves, there would be no end to the nice red blankets Uncle Sam would give them; and the tobacco, and the old hint-lock muskets! But the var hints are not yet ready to lay down their arms and "swearn It must he that they are afraid to trust the party in power and its re- construction committee. Last week, good sized crowd of the red mokes made descent upon the mail station at Beale Springs, and shot seven head of horses and mules whi ,h were fastened in the corral. One of the sol N'NiNf 'AS ""9 SNN ANAAA'AAEf N"AiN fNAJ HNhi going to kingdom come. An Indian sent 2 bullet after him that came mighty nigh cook ing his goose. They also paid their respects to Camp Willows, and stole seven head of horses from that place. Were it not for Lieu tenant Hasson, the mail would not have come in even on Sunday That officer furnished the rider, Mr. O'DonnelI, with mounted es- cort, and enabled him to come through, which he could not have done but for the Lieutenant, as the horses belonging to the men detailed for escort duty had been shot. The Lieuten- ant had been out on a scout, and got back to the road shortly after Mr. Wallapai had ip- ished "cavorting" around the Springs and Willows. We understand that Lieutenant Hasson and command will be in Prescott in few days, on their way to Fort McDowell. The Lieutenant and his command will be heartily welcomed in Prescott They deserve the gratitude of all Arizonians (except that of the natives,) for the manner in which they have expounded the rilcal doctrine to the untutored savage.
Arizona miner., 1867-12-21

CRAwFIsHING.--Since the recent triumphs of the Democracy in the Atlantic States, Chief Justice Chase has, it is said, become very conservative He now denies that he was in favor of universal negro suffrage in the Northern States Well, great many of his Radical brethren say the same thing, now that their pet scheme has been defeated by the people. The ungenerous loyal leaguers of the North have fastened the disgusting black deyil-fsh upon the people of their own flesh and blood in the South; crippled their energies and deprived them of liberty with hclIshly devised military bills; oycrrun them with swarns of hungry Bureau men, strong minded school lmarrns, and blood thirsty lec- turers, who have encouraged the negroes to murder the whites, and take possession of their property No wonder that Chase should begin to back water. He sees that a large ma jority of the people of the North are not the base wretches the Radical leaders would have them be. They are not shameless enough to force others to swallow tho abomnable dose which they themselves have rejected, and they have informed Chase, Butler, Wade, and the whole brood of anarchists, that their yil- lainous, cowardly, and monstrous doctrines will not be tolerated by them. Stink back to your kennels, you tramplers of the constitu- tion of your country. The tide of reason has set in strong against you and will surely en- gulf the rotten ship of Radicalism. "Reyo- lutions never go backwards Stewards bel has ceased its tinkling, and those who packed muskets in the late war have the audacity tC think and vote as they please. The hand writing is on the wall Radicalism is about to peg out.
Arizona miner., 1867-12-21

LivELr.-Times were lively in town during the early part of the week, owing Co thc ~r''al oi large number of freight trains from La fah' "l'n goods for our merchauts, and supplies for torI Whipplc. Werningcrs and Iagcrs trains were loaded with Government freight principally. The train of Campbell S Bunum wns laden with a large stock of clothing, drygoods, groceries and provisions, for their store in Prescott Inc teams of Mcssrs. Fcnton. Stevens, and Goodman, brought goods for Henderson & Co.,, Ra,ena' and Wormscr S Co. The latter firm iorwaf ieu 2o.O0O pounds of corn Co Wckeuburg, hy the trains of lager, and Fen,on. All of the wagons started back Co La Paz on Wednesday last
 RAILROAD suRvrY-Genc-al Palmer and the surveying parties have gone lo the Big Colorado The General made a thorough exploration ol 'he country between Prescott and the Little Coi"r"- do, and, we arc inform ld was highly pleased WIth 1t. He found easy passes through the Tonto HIS and the Mogollonc Mountains. His party met the main party of explorers ucarthc Little Colo rado From thorc they intended following ihe Beale route between the san Francisco Mountain and Blu Williams Mountain, to the Big Colorado. l. was the intention of the General to return Co Prescott before leaving the Territory for san Francisco and the East Of course, we do not know which route-Bcac or Chayez-will be sc- lecied by the Company Probably the General will give us some information in regard to the matter when he returns.
 Tm MAIL arrived on Wednesday morning several hours ahead Of lime.
 FREE Fraur-Some soldiers belonging to tb' escor; that came in with Major Krause got on ( l bender on Wednesday evening, and in returning ! from town to the post. engaged in pistol skir mish, which resulted in two Of them gettiu, wounded. One was carried oG the gory field D, l his comrades the other was found mex. morn ing, by some citizens
 l Stretched out. like q warrior taking his rest ! On the ground where the bullet had tum1lcd him 1 MR REED started out to Inc Sterling mine yes tcrday, Co commence operations.
 NOTES & CURTIS are taking very rich rock on of the Chase lode in the Hassayampa District
 FlRE.-A chimney in hc Arizona Brewer caught fire, on Thursday last The Hook an Ladder Company was promptly on the ground and the fire was put out without doing an damage
 McNE JuMrNG.-Mr. Sanford. we are inlorme, has jumped the ranch of r. C. Christie betwee town and the post, and is ploughing is soil u vigorously. Christie anl Dr. Nocller who owr an interest in the ranch, are working like bes7 CTS, digging post holes and fencing it in.
 THE YuLruRE MNg. at Wickeaburg. is now f-C from all lliacumbranees. The mortgages held upo it by Nr. Erwin Davis, of San Francisco. hay
 been satisfied, and the Vulture Mining CJmpan are now, really, the happy owners Glad {
 hear i:
Arizona miner., 1867-12-21

PRESIDENT JoHNsoN's MEssAGE.-The greater part of this able and patriotic document will be found in the MINER of to-day. Want of space prevents us from commenting upon it. We are indebted for the copy to the san Francisco Daily Examiner, of December ith. l. was telegraphed exclusively to tine San Francisco Times
Arizona miner., 1867-12-21

THE California State Passenger Stamp Act has been declared unconstitutional. and here after persons leaving that State can do so without contributing to is revenue in this way. Heretofore, masters of vessels had to pay stamp duty of six dollars on every first cabin ticket sold by them; four dollars on every second cabin ticket, and two dollars on every steerage ticket
Arizona miner., 1867-12-21

TIE Capital Menagerie will shortly be ex- hibited in Tucson to an admiring audience of natives of Sonora. Price of admission-one vote for Delegate in Congress. Front seats reserved for native volunteers ;n back seats for Cal. volunteers and regulars.
Arizona miner., 1867-12-21

ARMY AND NAVY, OR Two-FacED DANCE. There is certain official in Arizona who can dance this dance iE 6 bewitching manner. but somehow or other folks sec through his mask very readily. Close the bars of your yisor
Arizona miner., 1867-12-21

Ar latest accounts, the capital of Arizona was stuck in the mud somewhere between Wiekenburg and the Pima Villages. IL was stretched ont like comet, the head being at the villages and the tail forty or fifty miles in its rear.
Arizona miner., 1867-12-21

BEWARE of the man who belongs to both political parties. He must be traitor to one or the other, sure. Every man has a mind of his own, and should think for him self. There is a wrong and right, and un- less man has throat like main sewer, he cannot swallow both.
Arizona miner., 1867-12-21

MIssIyG.-What has become of the Tucson Aris0aiaap We have not had the pleasure of gazing upon its beautiful mug" for several weeks past. Has the great organ of the "Centre of birthstone collided against an adobe or run afoul of a cactus2 Speak, Syd- ney, do!
Arizona miner., 1867-12-21

MAKING HIM FRTENDs.-Gov. Mccormick makes 1t point to tell people that the course the MINER is pursuing is making him friends. Well, if that is so, it suits us, for we don't like to see Governor without friends. but from what we can learn, our course is making him friends over the left.
Arizona miner., 1867-12-21

Why are Democrats like dead crows Be- cause they remind us of the lost caws-Leac- ea60Tth C0nserratite.
 No doubt of it. We suppose yon mean the cause of the nigger, which your party has been advocating so long, and which you re- gently lost.
Arizona miner., 1867-12-21

ONE MAN KILLED AND ANOTHER WOUND Ep In the recent fight between q party of piuts T.as and party of Indians, near the Planes sniIe, on Hillams' Fork one man, whose asme we aave beer nzable to learn, waz silied and Charles Msr1 reiyod severe wound
Arizona miner., 1867-12-21

NEW towns are constantly .ffrg se up along the line of the Union Pasiac Kaltyay, E. D. This is the road that viii traverse Aiilyaa
Arizona miner., 1867-12-21

Nor VISIBLE TO THE NAKED EYE.-The amount of good Governor Mccormick has done for Yavapai county.
Arizona miner., 1867-12-21

NAUGHTY BoY.-Goyernor Mccormick has cone to Pima
Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1867-05-14
lBeH: Davis Admitted 90 bail in
The Sum of $4,000.

JEFF. DAVIS must be hung on "sour
apple tree" within torty-eight hours after
his capture, screeched almost every Re-
publican partisan throat. 'Treason" was
to have been made ''odious " in his per-
son. Well, after having been confined in
comfortable quarters at Fortress Monroe
for two years he is taken to Richmond
tor sthe ostensible purpose of stand
ing trial for treason; but actually
to be released. He is released on
bail bond reported by telegraph at ten
thousand dollars, and the first man to step
| forward and go on the bond was HORACE
GREELEY, the white-headed and white
coated editor of the NeU York Tribune-the
man who rather than consent to an aban-
donmentef Republican partisan principles
in 1S60-61, was willing that fifty such Un-
lions assours was then should be shattered
to atoms. Now we find him the first bonds
kmanlof the head devil of the Rebellionl
Is JEFF. DAVIS, too, in favor of Negro vot-
ingSZEO e@TT ~
Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1867-05-14


An English merchant vessel shipped at
Penang ON her homeward voyage Swede.
On board the, same vessel was another sea-
man, a mulatto, but a belief prevailed
among the crew that he was Russian
Finn, and some sailors have superstition
that the Russian Firms are unluckv and
bring danger to vessel. The Swede was
ACQUAINTED with all the supers. .itions Of
sailors, and he soon ex xpressed his conviction
that if the Finn" was not put, out of the
way the vessel and crew would never reach
London. sAtlast one night he attacked the
poor mulatto in his bed and killed him.
Forth offense he was brought to trial,
found guilty and sentenced to DEATH
There was no uncertainty of the commits
sion of the dead, but the only question con-
cerned the state of the Swede's mind and
his accountability in the eyes of the law.
He was sane, but there was specific sim
pressiou',-a certain superstitious belief.
The Swede killed the supposed Finn as
people in former days killed witches,
believing that he was dealing with an enc
my. The case is strange one, presenting
the distinction apparently drawn between
an Himpression" which impels an inoffen-
sive man to a groundless murder, and a
.1delusion," which would have rendered
him irresponsible for the crime. After Sc
rious consideration the sentence of. the
Swedish seaman has been respited during
her Majesty's pleasure. SIX b16 SSh