Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1867-03-27


er's. Come Jed, says he, flare up
the mares waitin' where's your gal 7
l felt so dumfonnded like that l didn't
know what to think. The dogs she
is ? says well, go rite out and get in.
and I'll be there in two seconds But
come to look round there Warn't any
body goin, our way but what got fellers
except Hetty Gawkins. Thinks /, PU
stay all mite and court Liz, but then /
seed Mike Longley with one arm
round Liz's waste, and lookin as know
in as coon in cornfeld, so l seed
very plainly it was Hetty or go home
alone, and so to make the matter short
asked. She said she didn't kere if
she vent out and tumbled in. There
warn't only one seat, so set in Hetty's
lap and Jim in Prudence's lap, and off
we started. l didn't feel exactly rite,
but SIS we were to unload Hetty about
half way, it wasn't SO bad as it might
be. had the reins, and for one l
didn't feel like bein very long on the
road, and 1 CESS the old mare didn't
neither, for we hadn't gone fur afore
her tail. began to go Whish whish-and
her fore feet kept comm down harder
and harder, and pretty soon she broke
into a clean run and made the wagon
jump from one stone to another as if
'twOuld shake your liver out. Hold
the cFiitteF in don't let her break p
says Jim. Never fear,' says l, III
fetch her up easy at any time Jest
then we came to little piece of down
hill, which was as ruff as a cats back
when she's skeered, and l set out to
hold her up, but the more 1 pulled
her, the Busser she run. 1 braced agin
the fore part and told Hetty to hold on
behind, and then gave one almighty
twitch something gave way though l
couldn't tell what it was, but it seemed
as if I'd split the old critters jaws
clear up to the ears, but it didn't stop
her no more than it would to whistle
to chain ightnin' On she went faster
and faster and at every plunge the old
wagon seat and all there was on it
would Jump as much as two feet right
in eend saFtain. The trees and fences
flew by so quick we couldn't count
them, and the moon, which was almost
down, kept rollin and tHmblim about
orfully, while as for stars, the sky was
all kiTered with little shiny specks,
that kept danein and chitterweein
about like the sparks in blacksmith s
chimney. The gals they screamed, and
Jim he got hold of one rain and hol-
Tered who and gripped tother and
hollered who but there was no who
to her-she only pulled little harder
and the fire rolled out of the rocks terri
bly,. l thOrt. for sartain the judgement
day was come and we was death on the
pale hoss. When we got opposite old
Squire Gawkine', Hetty sung out ike a
pig under gate to git ou-ou-wout. she
couldn't do it all to once, you know, on
account of the motion, and she screeched
so you might have heerd her two miles
Hold your tongue, you internal wild catl
says Jim, 'or this old she devil anead here,
will lead US all into eternity in less than
no time Prudence blubbered, and put
her arms around Jim and hugged about
the closest. 1 kinder thort l shouldn't
much kere if we did all go to the place
he spoke of, if could sit in his seat-it
would be kind of satisfaction to be ehaw-
ed up in a stone heap, if the smash would
only come when 1 had two such pretty
arms around me. But as for Hetty, she
dug her long bony knuckles into my ribs
as if she'd tear my bones out. L was
heavens mercy how the old mare kept
the road for we couldn't see to steer her
ne more than we could the wild rhinoee-
ros, and the smoke rolled out of her nos
trils like Beelzebub himself. Well, on
we went, lickety smash, over the rocks
and gridirons, sometimes on ore wheel
and sometime on none at all. Jehu! how
she did make the gravel hy-my teeth
ratified in my head as if they were all loose
in the socket At last we come in sight
of Deacon Dimon's. Now says Jim,
'hold her in, for if she turns up the Dea-
cons lane we're all gone suckers. 'Well,
says 1, lend US hand at this off REIN
and we placed ourselves. 'Give of the
word, Jim,' says 1. Now then, together
SAYS he, and we settled up on her. But
we might jest as well tried to hold. bull
moose by the tail. At that moment the
rein broke and let US back on to the gals.
'Ohl, says Prudence, 'Waughl' says Het-
ty; It's COMM says Jim, and l seed il
was, for at that instant the old mare turn
ed the corner like q weather rooster in a
whirlwind. 'Hold on says 1, and Hetty
let IN her bread hooks like the grlpe Of
death into sick Niger. felt sort of
dizzy feelin' Jest as q person does afor they
puke-so l drawed in my head and shut
my eyes, and over went there was yell
and then smash, and then when come
to myself I was sticking forked eend
up, drove clean over my shoulders in q
heap of corn fodder!
As soon as I could dig out I looked
around for tho fragments. Hetty was
win on her back with near half the back
,ide of my trowsers in her clutch, that
;he griped and never let go Of when the
smash come. The old mare was gone with
he fore wheels, and the rest of the wagon
was bottom up in ditch. Prudence was
not much hurt--she fell as did, on the
itocks but as for poor Jim 1 thOrt it wass
III day with him. He lay deep in the fod
Ter, and kicked mastery. l hollered tol
him, and axed him if he was burt ?-but
ne only grunted and kicked the wusser,
At last got hold of his legs and pulled
him out; and such lookin' site 1 guess
never was seed in these parts There he
ay with his head drove clear up to his
in ons of Deacon Dimon's big
hard shell punkins and to get out again
le couldn't no how, but kept fioundering
.bout like every thing broke loose
Hold still, Jim, says I, and III fix it,
% when he got easy took a stone, you
know, and standin rite over him, you
NOW, let drive. It smashed the punkin
my how, and come plagy near drivla
inns smelIer down his throat, IN The bar
,ain. But pretty soon he got up, und be-
IAN TO spit, and ehaw and sputter and
hen he began to cuss and sich orfully
wicked words !-sDarnation to golla gTa- |
.ious says be, IF this amt jest the last
pree 1 ever did seei Whoop! Chaw me
nto shoe strings if didn't think wus
lean into the middle of next week, when |
wus only IN that internal punkin |
Nhew this is the last punkin sass ever
lid eat, sartain Jemimal Prudence,
,ut your bonnet is knocked into cooked
Ip hatp With that he wiped the curry |
If his face and pulled the punkin seeds |
ut of his hair. But says he, where's |
he rest of your trowsis Say nothia'
bout the trowsls,' said /, where's the |
)eacon's marei' Sure enuff,' says he, |
nd we started for her. We found her
N her side, in the barn-yard, snd if she
wasn't as near dead as any Of US, then hoss
Iesh don't kick over eaiy-for as sure as
makes, the bits were broke rite 10 the
wivel, and we'd pulled the headstall een-
most to the old sarpint's shoulders tryin
o hold her in If she warn't about
\ l. D.