Tama County Republican. (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1867-1872, 1867-02-08
0uhorous Clippings.

80 love her" says Montague
LAdy N. ". Montague says, 'the only objcc-
] toA have to being man is that should
tten havsto marry woman.
A old bachelor--confound his impudence--
fsAys that the talk Of women is generally
j Abeal men, He is mistaken it is dry goods.
Acrucl wag turned bald-hcaded friend
Suse IN enemy by advising him TO have his
head frescoed
When young lady promises her hand TO
: Hover on . bright night, she may he said to
have made "star engagement"
An Emcralder, upon admirng beautiful
csmetsry, observed that he considered it a
healthy place to be buried in.
Mr.. Josh Billings remarks, and he knows
ats dreadful easy to be a fool A man may
DE one and not know it ~
The man who courts young lady in the
starlight probably expects to get wife in
twinkling.
An Irish schoolmaster wrote the following
copy for his pupils "Idlcncss covereth a man
with nakedness"
Miss Anna Dickinson and Miss Lucy Stone
deny the truth of the following propositian:
"A woman's first duty--take care of her baby
"Do you think you can do the Landlord in
the Lady Of Lyons?' said a manager 10 a
ssedy actor in quest Of an engagement.
shave done great many landlords
''Therc arc ties which never should be sew
ered,' ~ the ill>used wife said when she found
her brute ofa husband hanging in the hay
soft.
person asked an 1rishman Why he wore
his stockings wrong side outward
Because said he, 'thcres hole on the
othcr side
An old sailor at the tleater said he supposed
that the dancing girls wore their dresses at
hslfmast as mark Of respect to departed
modesty.
II think have seen YOU before sir; are you
not Owen Smith: =
nOh, yes y m OWN Smith, and OWN Jones,
and owin' Brown, and OWN, everybody
front door and mistake you for her brother;
but still more delicious to have her remain de-
ceived until she has kissed you twice, and
Rugged the buttons of your coat.
The following is going the rounds as do
mestic drama:--Scene l. Mother in the cell
lar, splitting wood. Scene 2 Big son in the
parlor singing to Clara Fitz Noodle the pathetic
ballad Of ''Who shall care for Mother now
us it possible, Miss, that you don't know
the names Of some Of your best fricnds?H in
quired gentleman of lady.
"Certainiy," she replied - don't even
know what my own shall be year hence"
What is the difference between a person
transfxrd with amazcment. and leopard's
tail
The one is rooted to The spot, the OTHER is
spotted to the root.
Iseems to me Ishaye seen your physiog-
Monty eome here before, bu, I cannot mag
inc where.
Every likely; I have been thc keeper of
prison for the last twenty years.
"What ia colouizing ma p inquired hope
full miss of seventeen.
"ColoniHing, dear replied the mother 'is
having home and raising family.
ooh, ma how would like to colombo" ex-
claimed the expectant daughter.
A correspondent OF the Louisville Iourna,
treats at some length on the best way to pro-
vent hydraphobia. A wag, in reply, suggests
saat he once prevented a case Of the dreadful
malidy by getting on fourteen rail fence
and stay ing there until the 'sdog' left.
"what are ycu setting that child OH that
quarto dictionary for p said Mrs. D., as the
pster arranged his little boy at the breakfast
table.
II am fixing the basis of a sound English
education" replied he.
Eyes, but you are beginning at the wrong
end" said she.
young lady having Sc, her cap for a rather
large specimen Of the opposite sex, and hav>
ing failed TO win was telling her sorrows to
couple Of confdents, when one Of them COM
forted her with these words :-"Never mind
sS1VSilej tucIe Us Soou uSH III tue sea Ms. ever
vas caught Mollie knows that" replied the
other, 'but she wants a whale
"John,' said an afectionate mother the
other day, 10 a promising boy, sif you don I
stop reading much, you will get so after n
while that you won't care anything about
work"
Mother, replied the hopeful, leisurally
removing very long cigar and turning
another leaf, X have got so now
The other night transient border at a ho-
tel IN st. Louis got tight, missed his road, was
captured and conveyed to the calaboosc He
was so intoxicated tina, he forgot his name
and was entered on the police rolls as an "un-
known man. The next morning seeing n
crowd about him in the cell, he said: "scnd
for the proprietor Of the hotcl Why has he put
euch a lot Of ronghs in my room?'
Mieeourian informed traveller who in
quired about his corn, that s'eacl stalk had
nine ears on it, and was fifteen feet high.
That's nothing to DIR corn" replied tile
traveller; "ur in Illinois, where l came from
We always had nine ears to each stalk, and a
peck of shelled corn hanging to each tassel;
but we never could raise any field beans with