The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1867-12-05
HUMOROUS!

MIL eu@EL> AAdf Z O10 AN0N- AAAAAe
quality, viz: some very bad characters
get very soundiy whipped.
A LADY having accidently broken
a smelling bottle, her husband. who
was very petulant, said to her, :. L de-
clare, my dear, everything that be-
longs to you is more or less broken. P"
True replied the lady, . for even
you are little eracked!"
CAPTAIN, me jewel" said son
of Erin, as ship was coming on the
coast in Indictment weather, have ye
a almenic on board?' : No, havn't. "
Then, be jabers, we shall have to
take the weather as it comes.
Il SAY. boy, is there anything to
shoot about here ?2inquired a sports
man of boy he met Well, re-
piled the boy, "nothin' just about
here, but our schoolmaster is just
over the hill there, cutting birch rods;
you might walk up and pop him
over"
A WESTERN editor thinks if the
proper way of spelling tho is though ;
and bo : beau, the proper way of
spelling potatoes must be POUCH
teighteaux," and the new way of
spelling softly. $ psoughtleighly."
TRAVELLER" [ desire to be called
at 6 o'clock" Hotel clerk with gold
chain -" IF you will ring the bell at
that hour, one of the boys will attend
to your case.
AN argument in favor of enlisting
female soldiers may be derived from
the sentence of Montague, that Men
are generally more afraid of women
than women are of them"
If, when two people are married,
they are made one, according to the
general belief, why doesn't the we'd
lock institution lessen the popula-
ton? Isn't one less than two the
world over?
A NEIGHBoR asked country vicar
for his pulpit for a young divine, a
relation of his. Il really do not
know" said the clergyman, $ how to
refuse you; for if the young man
should preach better than |, my con-
gregation would be dissatisfied with
me afteward; and if he should preach
worse-why, | don't think he's fit to
preach at all. 4r.
A DEMOCRATIC voter in New York
when called unon for his name, for
got which one he was registered under
in the ward he was attempting to
vote in. Michael Murry,,'' said he.
There is no such name on the Reg
lister, said the official. 1t is Michael
Murphy, then" replied the numerous
citizen. tartly. Michael didn't vote
that time.
A WIT once asked a peasant what
part he performed in the great drama
of life. I mind my own business, "
was the reply.
A MAN boosted of having eaten
forty nine hard boiled eggs. Why
did you not eat one more and make
fifty?" asked Jeems Humphl You
want man to make hog of himself
just for one egg p II
BILL, did you ever go to sea?"
Il guess [ did; last year, for in
stance. I went to see red-headed
girl, but / only called there once. :"
why sop Because her brother
had an unpleasant habit of throwing
boot-jacks and smoothing-irons at
people,
THE Portsmouth Journal says that
one Of their citizens, on recent Sun
day, seeing Quaker elder in the field
raking hay, demonstrated with him on
his disregard of the Bible requisition.
Friend Samuel" said he, in reply,
"thee is in the wrong-the Bible is
my guide
How so?"
Why, does it not say, If thine OK
or thine ass fall into a pit on the Sab
bath day, thou.shalt pull him out?"
Now. Samuel, of what use would it
be to pull him out if he have no food
to eat?"