The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1867-06-27
A Victim Of Typographical blunders.

rFrom the Correspondence the Louisville Courier
Speaking of typographical errors reminds
your correspondent of very disgusting in
cident which marked the commencement of
his literary career. [ had succeeded in OBJ
tanning corner la our village newspaper,
and | was youth unknown to fortune, it is
true, but was Intimately acquainted with
Fame all over circle two miles In diameter.
| wrote advertisements and love letters, and
i'll many Instances completed the work Of the
measles by perpetrating poetry to the mem
DRY of defunct infants. But nay strong point
was obituary notices, which wrote and putt
lsned as often as could get a proper sub
ject, until the happening Of the incident al
uded to above.
A bosom friend of mine had lost his sweet
heart. Death had snatched Der from his low
ing arms, and consigned her to the cold EN-
brace of the grave The tender sympathy
of his friends seemed only to increase the
fervor of his grief. Finally call was made
upon me for an obituary uotice worthy Of
the occasion With seeming reluctance |
consented, but inv ardly determined to sur.
pass all former efforts, and lay before the
community a production that would take
them by surprise. After ravishIng libraries
of metaphora and poetical quotations. | seat
ed myself to the task, and arose satisfied.
After adopting King Lears statement that,
Death lies her like untimely frost,
Upon the fairest flower of all the held,"
| went in for quantity achieved about
column, chiefly of adjectives, wherein pa
thos held an unequal conflict with pathos,
and finally wound up as follows:
"And the return of each verna her friends
will her last resting place VITA odOrous flowers
and hallow her grave with their tears
On the morning Of the publication did
not go down town very early. knew that
| was to receive many congratulations and
| | put 1t off as one sometimes defers goood
thing for better enjoyment, When | did
go observed numerous knots of village crit
les in animated discussion over the paper,
and further down the street, opposite the
printing office, | discovered my bereaved
friend leaning against locust tree with a
big stick i'll his hand My heart beat quick
err with the pleasant assurance that | was
the object of the excitement NV heart
was right for once. A dsintersted friend
stepped upto me and protfered disinteres ted
advice as follows:
''You'd better not go down where Jim is -
''Why?'
g Beca use he swears he'll wauop you
with that stick of hlsn'
"What is the matter with him?"
Don't know, unless he's mad about that
piece Of yours about his gal What made
you spoil it all by those miserable puns?'
''Puns punsl What do you meau?"
He handed me paper, aud judge of my
horror when read my granqilovueut and
concluding paragraph Of that obituary no.
tice, rendered by that uuregenerated prin
ter as follows:
And at the return ofeach vernal season her friends
will descrae her last resting place with odious pillow
ers. and harrow her grave with their steers.''
| did not go down to where Jim was, b ut
took the next conveyance leading out of
tl:at little old town, and hav not written
an obituary notice since.
There is one advantage in being blockhead. you
are never attacked with low spirits The moment
man can be worried he ceases to be fool