The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1867-03-21
THE AMBIsHUS YOUNG MAN.
A Oriental Legend.

New York We suspect that it was writer
either 10y Petroleum Y. Nasty or Orphen'
C. Kerr 1t is good at all events:
; rNoTE BY THE AUTHOR PREFEssIN THE LIE
GRND. -Wuz it BIZ yet, Ottoman KING
or Beiassus an irish King, wich alus KEEP a
French wired skeleton in his banketin ball
to remind him he wuz mortal hev nc
need for SIGH. The bottle Nv medicine
which bears the legend onto its front, Take
one tablespoonful immejitly after each
meal, and WITCH by his careful spouse, wlch
her name it is Looiser puts beside my plate
that mey not forget to take it, and leave
her an uutimely wilder before | get my life
inshoored is a suffisheut reminder that flesh
grass, and CONSISTENTLY isn't Of much yoOse
till it is cured. These remarks haven't
anything to do with the Legend, but they
will indicate to the intelligent reader that
the writer hereof is Ill, and account for the
vane of sadnis witch runs through it,
TIE LEGEND ITSELF,
Abou ben Adhem WIZ a Magician which
lived long afore the flood, in Moo Jersey
He wuzn't SIGH magician ez Siguor Bhtz
or that amusin Gus Heller, wich hez the
good taste to hev his jokes and wittkisms
manufactured to order at so much per wit
tikism, and wiCh he gets off ez well ez he
plays the pianner, witch is saying good
deal for his wittikisn. Not any SIGH Abou
wuz magician wich he'd the power to &C
lilly do things, instd Nv maxim bieeve DO
em-one who Good look down into futurity,
and back into the past, and Good tell for
tunes without the aid ofthe magic pebble
witch is present alluz from the Empror Nv
Chiny. He wuz drekter in the Camden
and Amboy Raleroad and NV course he'd bin
member Nv the Moo Gersey Legi5lacher,
and he'd money enuf to git into the SENT
NV the Yoonited States from that State, bat
he didn't want to, and beside he he'd spite
at the members he'd hev to buy, and didn t
want to make EN- rich.
Abou ben Adhem wuz a settin one morn
in in front of his tent gain off onto the
untold herds Nv oxon, COWS, steers, camels
antelopes jaguars aud bosses wich wuz
grain onto his fields wich wuz spread out
afore him, musin onto the vanity ov hu-
man affairs, and wonderin whether his last
vencher in West Virginny oil stOX, wood
add to his humble store or lay him out ez
badly ez did his Penusylvany spekulashen,
when ther appeared afore hun young man
Nv prepossessin appearance and good ad
dress, but whose travel stained habiliments
bespoke long distance Travelled
| ''Do stand afore Abou ben Adhem, the
magician, whose fame hez extended even
unto the Northern countless where | do
dwell, and whose name all men pronounce
with fear respeck and awe and siCh' re
marked this ingenious yooth.
II am Abou ben Adhem," answered the
original, modestIy, wat woodst thou with
me?"
unity man" sed be- bowin, ez is the Gus
tom Nv the Orientas, three times, till bis
nose cave the dust, or rather sand that be
in wat they have in Moo Gersey. Il hev
aIked many weary miles. "
why didn't 700 take the cars?" shreeked
Abou, his eyes hAshin fire; chow dare you,
native Moo Jeiseyan, defraud the Cam
den and Amboy by walkin?
entity Abou, sed this ingenious yooth,
humbly Il am not d Dlrektor, nor the SON.
or ever the cousin, Nv "a Direkter, therefore
amt a dead head. Money he'd none, and
when the condnkter come around and told
| BIN so, he Taft me 10 scorn, and him and
two brakcsmen dropped me gently off the
binder eud Nv the trane Aud 50 walked
| bitber to crave boom
''Speek on
81 hev wastid my life thus far selling
goods in country store, but | hev soul
witch loathes kahker and sores above mack
erel and molasses. | wood be CRATE. All
things is easy to thee-put me, pray thee,
in way to achieve fame.
''Famel My SOD, yoor to be ptied. Take
my advice; go home to yoor kaliker ard
moasses and be content with yoor lot
| Fame is unsatisfactory aud deoosion. He
is the happiest who knows the least and is
the leastist known. The wise man hates
hissef because the wisest of elm has only
sense enuff to appreciate wat consunlmate
ass he is, wien isn't cheerln retlexshun,
not by no manner Nv means. | am power
full aud mighty own the cattle upon
thousand hills, and half the stock Nv the
Camden aud Amboy | hev been in the
Legislacher and hev enjoyed all that be-
longs to a Iegitimit Moo Gersey ambshn yet
its boiler holler boiler Methinks l
wood like to exchange all these for gross ig-
norance and be a niger, which is made
happy by the uudispooted possession Nv
worm fence corner aud bottle Of whskey
witch kin be prokoored for sixpense.* Into
wat line docs your ambishen Iced 700?
woodst be poet politician, conkeror, or
conductor onto our railroad2'
Il wood, Nifty Abou, be politician. l
wood mix in public affairs, and leave a
name to posterity."
''Posterity!" sed Abou bitterly, wood
bein Governor fill yoor ambishen?"
Governor! Good heavens that's higher
than my widest hopes reech.h
Are 700 young man Nv ordinary in
teligence? Did yoor parience take the
county noosepaper and the Moo York Tri-
bune p
"Both, great profit"
Glow many Governors of Moo Gersey
kin 700 name over to me?"
'All Nv EN-, nifty profit. Theirs Govern
. Ward he's Governor now, aud afore him
wuz- that is watts his name-Goyernor"
t Young man; 700 see what fame is. In
two years more you'll forget the name OF
the present guvner But go thy ways; thou
shalt be all you wish in pollytix; thy wish
is granted"
And Abou passed his magic wand, witch
| wuz hikory cane, gold mounted, three
times over his head, and sed suthin in Ara
bic, which isn't with while to reprodoose
The young mans whole appearance wu2
changed His voice doubled up, his eyes
sunk back into bis head. his eyebrows be
came bushy, his lips become thick, and his
abdomen increased in size. He departed
and Abou stood alone
Five years elapst. and agin the young
{ man stood afore him.
"Wel !" sed Abou
NIFTY profit . sed the ambishus yooth
3 Thy work wuz we'll done | hev beer
member of the legislacher, Nv the senitant
huaiiy gunner, and still further promosheI
Y IS afore me But amt satisfied. / sc,
4 men Weld power with money. wich can
with poliytix; aud they seem to feel in that
= n happinis wIcn . can't in nav pursoots -
r Nifty Auou make ne money king; sich
1t man ez sir Morton Peto wuz, or Comma