Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1867-12-20
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Things Wise * Otl5crSvisc.
Emerson finely says; Poverty con-
sists only OF feeling poor"
Eight cities In Europe have streets
named IN honor OF President Lincoln.
Uncle Sam is'rich enough to give us
oil y farm. He owns l.40o, 100000 acres
of land.
1t In only thdae who have done moth
Ing who fancy That they eau do every
thing. ~
Would you hear sweet and pleasing
echo, speak swcetly and pleasantly
There are 100000 school teachers In
the United States--two-t thirds are fe-
males. M
Hanging mackerel to your coat tail
and Imagining yourself a whale, consti-
tutes cod fish aristocracy.
The Sugar Wedding thirty days
after marriage, is the latest method Of
asking matrimonial presents.
California boasts Of a cling stone
peach that measures within half an
inch Of a foot in circumference.
To keep copper tea kettle bright,
wash II oct nsionniiy with solution OF
salt aud buttermilk rinslng thoroughly
with clean water. a
4 Nature. when she makes beautiful
heal, is often so absorbed with ad,nira-
ton OF her own work, that she forgets
the brains.
A schoolhov+ being asked by his teach
er, "Of what lis tire German Diet com
posed ?' replied, ''Sourkrout, schrappsf
Iager beer and nix cum rous.n
Better he right than conquer In an
argument. Better bear the assump-
tions of ignorant men than waste your
dearly bought experience on fools.
The editor OF the Hamburg Times,
asks the fellow who stole liis wheel
barrow, to oil tile axle occasionally. for
the squeaking disturlrs the editors sluns-
hers. @ 1 st
Gofie and Whalley the regicides, ar
rived in Boston i'm 1850. The cave"
at West Rock, Is only less celebrated
in Connecticut, than Putnam's wolf
den.
Josh Billings says that IL man pro-
fesses 20 serve the Lord, he likes to see
him do it when he measures onions
as wei as when he hollers glory halle
luyer."
Grief murmurs anger roars impa-
tience frets; but happiness, like calm
river, fiows on in quiet sunlight
without ripple or n fall to mark tho
rushing ON of time towards eternity.
Clever old man Ito blubbering ur-
chin.) whats the matter, sonny ?
What do you want?o
!. Little boy lpettishly.) LET mo
lone, | got the beiler ache-that's what
| want.u ti
We are constantly In the midst of
death, our own feet walking over pitt
falls, one of which will surely take us
In. Yet we 20 on unconeernedly.
This Is we'll How well it is, with
such Il certainty of death before us!
'Tis a divinity which directs our
course.
Mr.. l.. NJ Fowler, I'm tie Phrenotog-
ienk Journal, gives these new deiini-
tions: my aefinition of temperance
In. To- eat. drink aud do that which ma
ture requires for life, health and real
happiness. My definition Of intemper.
ance Is to eat. drink aud do that which
mars happiness, Injuries health and
shortens life.p
England is getting npon the right
track now. II doesn't propose % with
hold suffrage. but 10 educate the voters.
Hon. Robert loves great speech In
favor Of popular practical education
has commanded wide attention and
from it will date n general movement
for an extension of tho common school
system of England.
A Washington dispatch 10 the New
York Tribune says ITO day. lady
In company with distinguished West
eru Governor, called upon friend who
was ~ the Capitol, To assist In getting
lad appointed n page In the House of
Representatives, giving IA a ground of
claim To the appointment that the lad
was son of the lady at whose house
Pre- sident Lincoln died The friend
gravely replied that he thought .he
could get appointments for three pages.
IL wanted, II the lady could only get
President Johnson To come to the same
house and die.'
A loafer got hold of green persim-
mon. which, before they are ripened by
the frost, are said to be the most bitter
and ptickery fruit known. He took
the persimmon outside the garden wall
and commencoi upon IL by seizing
generous lnontbful Of the fruit, whicIi
proved 10 be In state To frizzle his lips
aud tongue most provokingly.
'sHow do you like it?" inquired the
owner of the garden, who had watch
ed him. 6
The saliva was oozing from the cor
ners of the fellows mouth, aud lie was
only able to reply;
"IIow do ( look, nabur? Am wiss-
ling or singlng?n -