The Shasta courier., 1867-11-16
Rules for COurting.


| The following good advice on the above
subject is from the pen of John Quill, who
seems to have had rather blssful expert
rience in such matters:
| Having had much experience in the sci.
ence of courtng, / have determined here
with to lay down some definite rules for the
guidance of my young friends. You see |
had good many unsuccessful courts before
| met my present wife-the females whom |
loved having gone emphatically back on me.
But, bless you, did it harm me? No, it
didn't was benefited thereby, and when
| met my wife knew the ropes, and gather
ing up my affections, made one fell swoop on
Sallie's heart, and the door thereof ban ged
wide open and let me in. will give YOU the
rules and shed the sunny light of illustration
upon them from my own life.
1st. Never 90 courting the girls parents.
You'd better edge up to the charmer at once;
for you can't marry her if you don't try,
unless she wants you, and you may be able
to even if the old folks are hard on you
This is the policy pursued by myself in my
last successful attempt.
I'd. By all means get the girls ma down
on you as much as possible. If the old lady
is always blowing against you, the little dear
begins to take your part, and can't help low
ing you.
did this, and my present mother-in law
used to throw brooms and wash boards at me,
and teach the dog to bite me in the trowsers
as | climbed over the fence.
Sd. If you see others prowling about,
always eucre them if you can. If you see
one of them buy tickets for the opera. 90 up
and make an engagement with the girl, and
get your tickets afterwards; but when they
visit the house always act as if you were at
home and they were only visitors, and never
leave first.
| always did this, and have frequently sat
antl day break, while the fair one snored
away on the sofa. You can't bluff me. No.
sir, ha ha | guess not. would have been
there yet if the fellow had stayed.
4th. If the old man has worldly wealth
express a dislike to greenbacks. and a hank
ering after love in small house.
5th. If you are long in the parlOr you may
sometimes try if your arms fit well ON her
waist.
| tried this once, and called forth pierre
ing scream, which induced her heavy father
and two brothers to chuck me down the front
stairs. So you better be careful.
9th. When you inquire if she will have
have you, don't fall on your knees it's
ridiculous, besides being rough on trowsers,
Just take her hand and speak out like a
man.
l behaved similarly to this to a female, and
said to her:
"Will you be mine ~
She replied. rather abruptly:
9 Not much. | won't ~
It's likely she was little timid, but did
not care about pursuing the subject any
farther.
7th. When you are engaged, don't go off
like an old jackass and begin buying tea
spoons, and wask boilers. and candles. 1t is
very unwise und excites comment.
Why. recolect | was so glad that went
right off and purchased a baby jumper and
gum ring. 1t was a long while ere those
things were necessary, and the baby jumper
had shrunk so that when we put the first of
the little Quilts into it, it suddenly jerked up
and came frightfully near battering the de
voted child's brains out against the ceiling,
while the gum ring had been kept i'll box
with cockroach poison, threw the baby into
fits, and he-it was boy-had spasms in
the crib for four days.
Sth If girl refuses you, don't give it up,
but try it again. Because two negatives
make one affirmative in grammar however,
dent consider yourself accepted when girl
jilts you twice.
| asked one female forty times, and
at last she got to expect it whenever came,
and sometimes would holler out g 'No' from
the top of the stairs, before l got fairly into
the house. This is unusual, let ME here
remark.
9th Kiss all the little children in house,
even if they are dirty, and smear moiasses
candy in your hair. Let the boy play horse
with you and make fool of you generally.
This always works. It's trump card if you
play it right.
10th. And finally, if there are two sisters,
and the old one is jealous, get some one to
choke her off, while you go in for the
younger.
did that once, and used to get nv friends
to ask the senior girl out for the evening. but
she found me out, and used to arrange hair
pins in the sofa cushions before she went out.
so that it was extremely uncomfortable.
Thus 1t will be seen that when courtship is
alluded to, | am right there If anv further
information is wanted, send me letter
enclosing a stamp fifty cents and l will
cheerfully give it gratis
The Bulletin de Loi, or Law Register, is
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