New-York tribune., 1867-04-23
cup1sTFyIyG rNDER DIFFICULTIES.

amlaDle lady. IL is q matler ol tdste, an ahaii
of diplomacy a question of euphony, in which
the party principally interested has, unfOrtu-
nately, no voice, and may be rendered miserable
for life by the baptismal indiscretions of his
begetters. AS it is with brand-new infants, so
it is with freshly-acquired territory; and we
are not at all astOnshed to hear that MIR.
Seward is puzzled to determine by what name
to call his glaciers, icebergs, and rock ribbed
acres. Congress will have to settle the matter;
but recommendation from Mr.. Secretary
would go q great way with both Houses.
A good name, as the acute Shakespeare
observes, is an immediate jewel; and
however easy it may be to title
hamlet, and to call house barn, black
smiths shop, and q grocery Rome or Athens,
Carthage or Palmyra, the naming OF Ter
ritory is a matter of more difficulty. VOyagers
have frequently bestowed geographical appel
latiOns which are mOurnfully suggestive, sucl
as Point Famine, Deadman's Island, or Cape
Fear; and why would not Billy's Hard Bargain
he not only sounding but sensible or Fahren-
heit's Despair, considering that no thermom-
eters will be long enough for practical use IN
those realms of everlasting twilightG or Bears
is a cold one? or something suggestive OF
living OH seals meat and ice water, if, indeed,
there is any water there, even i'll the hottest
season We certainly should advise Mr..
Seward to go up and take private view
before deciding, were we not apprehenslve
that he would be frozen to death
before be could be starved to death, and so be
sent home harder even than he is now, to be
exhibited in glass case in the Department.
He would find an immense field for ingenuity,
the only productive crop probable III those
parts, and every facility for making mintJuleps
except mint and peacl-brandy, sugar, spoons,
and other trfes. In his present botheratlon,
however. we are glad to notice that he has the
help of the newspapers, and may yet come ont OF
his trouble with lucky felicity. Some OF these
journals are all for Russian name-sOmething
ending in ski" and dangerous to unsophstl-
Gated American jaws. One editor, OF whose
monarchical proclivities we are ashamed, pro-
poses to call the desert "after one OF the Russian
Cars forgetting that the insult might be
made cdsuS belH, or at any rate
cost us the good will of the MuscOvite mon
arch, whose wrath might be extreme at iindlng
that, though rid of the property the tact oil MS
previous ownership was to be historically per-
petuated. Some are for calling this bowling
wilderness "Columbia,n but beside being
name general TO the whole country, the British
ers have their "COlumbia,n and 1t would be
cruel by an unnecessary repetition to distract
the brains of the schOol-classes IN geography,
who, what with British Columbia, and Spanish
American Columbia, and our old established
Columbia, and the District of Columbia, to say
nothing of Hail Columbia, might be logged
within an inch of their blighted lives for max
ing confusion worse confounded No; another
Columbia will never do. "Asiana has been
proposed, and if it could be always pronounced
"Ass-iana.- this name would have moral
bearing. and might be useful reminder TO fu-
tire generations with plenty OF money, and
with n passion for collecting glaciers. " Asana'
is, no doubt, clumsy piece of verba! Joinery
but perhaps, barbarous regions deserve no BET
ter than barbarous titles. With respect to the
highly respectable constellation so called, we
would offer the name of " Ursa Major" out OF
compliment to the grizzlies, but as we are not
certain that Mr.. Seward will not be buying
that whole cluster of seven golden stars before
he goes out of Office, we refrain from urging
our amendment Terra IncOgnta" would be
good fit were English, and especially proper, IN
asmuch as one man swears that the cwpurchase
il Il Newt Canaan, with rivers of milk and with
mountains of honey, while others aver that the
little busy bee could not live in the nelghbor-
hood to say nothing of the dder-lovlng COW.
As we know rather more OF Central Africa
than we do of this mysterious land, we would
postpone the baptism until we discover what
the bantling is like which will be when Mr.,
Seward has plodded his weary way up there,
and hoisted the American flag upon the North.
Pole TO the intense delight of the fIisky walrus,
and the meditative whale. OF course, lie VIII
make speeeh There will be nobody to hear
il exccpt the monsters of the deep, ana O1 the
ice-hoe but if ST. Anthony preached to the
fishes why should not Mr.. Seward hold forth
to the bears9 Being the only inhabitants he
might promise these animals the right OF sui
frage. upon condition of their not eating him;
and os he would not be in very good ease al
ter his meanderings, even the hungriest bears
might prefer vote to such vletuals. we
should but still it is a matter OF taste.
With the best intentions in the world, we
believe that we have thrown no light upon TINS
tenebrifcous subject. The longer we look at
il the darker it grows. There seems TO be but
ono way of settling the matter, and that is to
leave the territory altogether alone in its gloomy
grandeur and sublime isolation with the bears
growing, and the wolves bowling, and the lee
bergs cracking, and the aurora streaming, and
Mr.. Seward in nine frieze overcoats calling the
elements to order and proclaiming American
sovereignty.
The elections which have thus far been held
in the present year clearly show that we need
not fear any great detection OF Republicah
49, o,t; Fam