The Portland daily press., 1867-12-09
Varieties.

"A resident in Pere la Chaise, Paris, order
ed, previous to his death, that a copy of La
Patrie should be placed on his tombstone eve
ry morning. This eccentric request is daily
carried out, and there ON the grave can be seen
heap OF musty old papers Some wug has
thrown amongst the heap copies of La Solea
and La Lime, to give some light on the sub
ject.
An Alabama paper announced that it
would keep silent in regard to certain little
affair."" if bottle of champagne were sent to
the office. The editor received seven bottles
from seven different parties.
Walt Whitman says in his article ON De-
mocracy in the Galaxy, that such comic
painful hulabaloo and vituperatiye eat-squali-
ing as Carlyle's Niagara Leap" he never yet
encountered in the EXTREMIST hour of mid
night, in whooping Tennessee revival, or Bed
lam let loose in crowded, colored Carolina
bushmeeting
A Lowell (Mass.) widower, Just married
for the third time, has had thirty-one children
previous to the new arrangement.
DIR. Tying says he hasn't written a sermon
since he was a. boy. Some one asked him how
he became so excellent an extemporaneous
preacher. "By running half dozen parishes
in the attempt" was the witty reply.
SO use your own as not to iniure your
neighbors, is true rule of law. So to conduct
in public assemblies as not to annoy your
neighbors, is the first duty of every one.
-"Hans, where you get that knife?" Il
finds him, farder." mo. Hans, L believe you
tells one big lie" "No, farder, dat is true; I
is the luckiest boy you never see." "Vell,
Hans, has to vip YOU" mot cause l steals
farder?" "No, Hans, 1 vips you cause you so
very lucky"
"A John Bull, conversing with Canadian
Indian, asked him if he knew that the sun
never sets ON the Queens dominion? "No,"
said the Indian. "Do you not know the rea-
son why?" asked John. Because Heaven is
afraid to trust an Englishman in the dark"
was the savage's reply.
The N. Y. World, spanking of westonis
walk, says: Eager as had been the curiosity of
the other towns to see and applaud the young
man-wild as had been the excitement all
along the lake shores-in Chicago it grew to
something at once in keeping with that city
and outshone in transcendent tomfoolery all
that had preceded it,"
AT recent meet in England large hum
several of them were injured One of the
damaged persons was a clergyman, and two
others were baronels. The injuries range from
severe contusions to broken legs.
"A large balloon ascended from near the
Paris Exhibition on the night when the mete-
ors were seen, and the people who went in it
reported that as they were passing over Com
pegne number of magnificent aeroltes were
seen.
AT Lexington, the United States flag,
which had been raised over the Agricultural
College of the Kentucky University was torn
down one night last week, and afterward
found the street with the following brave
notice pinned to the helpless bunting:
No negro bureau flag shall float over the Ag-
ricultural College while am q student of the
same. A Lover of Right.
The poor fool did not know, evidently, that
his College was the special gift of Uncle Sam
to kentucky; and that he, consequently, was
an eleemosynary beneficiary of the very stars
and stripes which he attempted to dishonor
Nasby villa have to plume his wings for "A
higher flight than he has yet attempted, before
he can do full Justice to the Confederate Y
Roads, which is in the Stait of Kentucky"
An Iowa paper is credited with qualifying
an obituary notice of Fitz Greene Halleck by
saying that though he was fine poet, he was
no great shakes of a military man.
Mr. w. ID. Howels, in his recent volume.
"Italian Journeys" in describing some rel-
gious ceremonial at Rome, thus touches one of
the minor features of what is in itself all one
monstrous anaohronism: "The guard kept
good order in the chapel, and were no doubtas
useful and genuine as any thing about the poor
old Pope. What gorgeous fellows they were,
and, as soldiers, how absurd The weapons
they bore were as obsolete as the eXcommuhl-
cation If w,s amusing to pass one OF these
nlav sol1;a~s On guard at the door of the Vati
con--,ou straight, beautiful, superb, with his
ho,bo.l ON his shoulder-and then come to
ro,I warrior outside, little ugly, redlegged
French sentinel with his MIME ON his arm"
AT Liege on the Meuse, there has lust
been erected a gigantic statue of Charlemagne,
that weighs nine or ten thousand kilo-
and is five metres high. 1t rests up
on pedestal 7.50 metres in height. 1t has
been noticed (by Figaro) that a statue OF this
solidity should be a rather burdensome glory
to be supported by town of Liege (cork)
"A Canadian of French extraction came
over to visit the Exhibition in Paris, and was
Hospitality, as a relative, received into French
family for mon h. One night he entered the
bedroom of his host, picked n lock with con-
summate address, and distracted securities
payable to the bearer worth 50 ,9O0f., with their
coupons attached. After the act he retired to
rest and in the morning took leave, left Paris
by the railway, and reached Liverpool, whence
he addressed a note to this effect TO his VIC
tins: ut is who have taken your securities,
your diamonds, Jewels and plate. But 1t Is no
robbery; it is a forced loan. With its produce
shall do great business in Canada. If
succeed will repay you with interest; if
fail il will be dead loss to you and me-"
A man in indianapolis, Ind, has bet that
he can walk ON his hands from the bridge to
the Lunatc Asylum. He Lad better stay
there if he succeeds.