Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-10-29
Haze, Munich, Haze !

The treasury is on its last legs, and they are
shin-plastered.
Radicals claim to go to the root of the mat
ter So does hog.
Hogs cannot be carried on ship board for fear
they would eat the mast.
The strains of some singers are more per-
ceptible to sight than hearing.
Killing cattle on a railroad shows the con-
ductor to be governed by low motive.
A warning to the Secretary of the Treasury
Of the good ship America Breakers ahead!
A book entitled Thieves of the War;" is
soon to be issued Wonder who it is that now
proposes to write history of the Butler family
'How do you and your wife get on?'' ooh,
rather badly; she gave me her hand awhile ago,
and | thanked her; she gives it to me now ev-
A young lady at Monroe, Iowa, who had
probably been sitting up too late at night, re
gently dislocated her jaw by gaping too severely
She got it fixed and is now ready for another
"fsller, =" provided he don't stay too late
The manufacturer of this 'conundrical' gem
will be presented with leather medal as soon
as the result Of the State election is ascertain
ed: What is the difference between college
boy and boiled sausage? One is stu dent
and the other is stewed-ent-rail.
II would not marry an Eastern man if had
to live an old maid all the days Of my life, " ex-
claimed buxom country lass. why not ?'
demanded her astonished companions. BE
cause every paper you pick up contains an ac-
count of the failure of the Eastern mails"
A farmer, passing through village, stabbed
dog that attacked him, with a pitchfork.-
Upon being carried before justice, he was
asked why he did not strike the cur with the
butt of his weapon? SO [ should" replied
he, IF the dog had run at me with his tail
California, says an eastern paper, gives birth
to good many queer facts. A friend informs
US, for instance, that it is impossible to grow
the common turnip in any part of the country
the soil being so impregnated with gold dust
that the waller strikes through, and converts
them all into rutabagas.'
DIR. W., on one occasion, received no fee for
marrying parsimonious couple, and meeting
them some months after at social gathering,
took up their baby and exclaimed Il believe
L have mortgage on this child !" Baby's pap,
rather than have an explanation before the
company quietly handed over a V.
Sentimental young lady to perfumer: 81 do
not think you forwarded the scent | meant it
seems entirely different to that [ ordered -
4Perfumer, lwho is fond of punningl Madam,
am sure that what you meant | sent; the
scent sent was the scent you meant conse-
quently, We are both of one sentiment
The New York Tribune says 1.-THE Arabs
visited the Tribune press room and Office on
Wednesday. Their proposition to stand on
their hands and let the hollows of their feet be
used as ink stands for the rest of the day was
declined with thanks. Having assembled to the
topmost floor, they grayely nodded their tur-
bans and departed for other climbs"
well, Jim how did you make it when down
South?''
First rate. Made plenty of money"
What did you do with it?''
Laid 1t out in houses and lotS'
"Where ?"
Every place have been where there were
any,"
What kind of houses and lots %
Coffee houses, and lots of whisky