The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1867-05-18
l5rnget Of Finn.
Talking ti,c Pledge.

San Francisco paper has this temperance-re-
brm item - A rl.f g.
A well-known individual, who thought he had
rested with whiskey about long enough, as it
as fast getting the best of him, concluded he
ould throw up the sponge" and haul off. He
alked into Lynchs notarial Office, corner of
[ontgomery and Merchant Streets, and politely
boosted the head of the establishment /:
STRAW me ny a document by which promise
abstain from all intoxicating drinks from this
me henceforth, aud which L will strengthen
18th an affidavit"
"All right" said the good-humored notary who
bought he was doing good work
The'document was drawn, read and approved :;
be party held up his hand and murmured the
sual ''s'elp me-" tti ,u4a.rt.. -.
1t was properly sealed and delivered.
whats to pay" asked the pledger
"To pay-to pay exclaimed the notary !;
nothing, of course--this is a labor of love-"
"Nothing to pay Y returned the grateful but
cry forgetfal atiiant. you are brick. Lets
Ne a drink"
The smile died from off the pleasant face of the
otary, and he pointed, with look Of awful
eaning, to the lately affixed signature Of his in.
tier. The forgetful individual appeared con-
ience-stricken, huInbly apologized, and left the
flee.
Some of our readers may have been compelled
sit on a coroner's jury. Ii such is the case
hey will appreciate the following report Of a
)roner's inquest on the body of man found
rowned:
Coroner-Dd yot know the defunct
Witness-Who's he!
Cor.-Why, the dead man. ..r
Wit-Yes.
Cor-Intimately a...
Wit.-Werry.
Cor-How often have you been in company
18th him!
| Wit.-0nly once 'FJ
Cor-Do you call that intimately:
Wit Yes for he was drunk, and was VERY
runk, and that made Us like two brothers.
Cor-Who recognized the BODY: t...
Wit.--Jack Adams. ..-...,s ',.-....,{ "a, VI.
Cor.-How did he recognize the 6oivY
Witty standing on thebody 10 let the water
un out 9H
Cor-I mean how did he know him
Witty his plush jacket,
Cor.-Anything else;
Wit-No; his face was so sweIIed, his mother
couldn't ha' knowed him. .rgifTEt
Cor-Then how did you know hiIa:
Wit.-Caue.I warplt his mother. fEf- 81
Cor.-What do you consider the cause of his
cath.
Ni.--bIONLAHI, III course.
Cor.-Was any attempt made to resuscitate
inn
Wit.-Yes.
Cor-How?
Wit.-We searched his pockets
Cor mean did you try to bring him to?
Wit.-Ies. u the ppbla.h1usc. n. Yl
Cor.-I mean to recover him
Wit.-No weren't told IT,
Cor-Did You ever su-pec. the deceased Of
Rental alienation
WHITES the whole village suspected him.
Cor.-Why:
wit.-'Ca99so h. alifa,rsg oac-o Of the squire.
Cer-You misunderstood me. allude to men.
al alteration.
Wit.-Some think he was
Cor.-On what grounds
Witt believe they belonged to Squire
Waters.
Cor.-Pshaw' mean was he mad
Wit.-Sartenly he were.
Cor.-What, devoid Of reason :
Witch, he had no reason 10 drown himself
Is knows Of El4
Cor.-That will do sir.-lTo the Jury)-Gen-
|eman, You have heard the evidence, and will
|onsider your verdict
Forcman.-We are all OF one mind.
Cor-Well, what is that -r--
Foremar.--We don't mind what; we're agree
Die TO say anything you please
Cor.-No gentlemen have no right to die.
|ate t. ysu You had better consult together.
Foreman.-Wo have afore we came, and we are
IL unanimous.
Cor am happy to hear it, gentleman.-(To
|he Clerk Mr.. Clerk take the verdict Now
|hen, gentlemen.
Foreman Why, them it's JjHstitiable suicide
but we bees 10 recommend To mercy and homes We