The Van Buren press., 1867-11-22

tortee also began To show signs ot weari-
ness aud sleep, but hard tack and blue
beef made him desire one more good meal
before he went to rest, 50 he sent his chill
dren over to Vannys, as formerly, to
purchase chickens and eggs, who on their
return reported the deathllke sleep Of his
neighbor Vanny, at this the little man
shook his little fat sides with laughter,
and rubbing his little hands together for
joy, says boys "let's take drink" now
is our chance to get our butter, eggs and
chickens without depending on our neigh
Der Vanny. ! am not sleepy now, sit
down boys and l will tell you what to do,
for our neighbor Vanny belongs to the
Rip Van Wrinkle family and may sleep for
fifty years, or his children may wake him
up in three or four, so what we do must
be done at once. Good old Uncle Sam
is extending his mails again into our
Country and they are to be let as they
have been twenty years, which in fact
is the only common sense arrangement
that can be made, that is for the great
northern and southeastern routes to
terminate at Vanny's rancho, and then one
daily line to mine, this is not only the
most economical but it gives greater GER.
tainty in the transmission of mails, for
high water, high wind, drift wood, ice,
and high sand bars, must very often de
lay the mails in crossing them all to
and from this side of the river as very
little of the mail need to cross at all, for
the bulk Of the mail from the north goes
south -east, and the bulk from south east
goes north, all on the north side OF the
river. Uncle SANS servants used to be
long headed honest chaps, who consulted
the interests OF the government and peo
pie without fear or favor and | could new
er wheede them into any plans, for that
arrangement gives Vanny most Of the
horses and passengers to feed and coaches
to mend, and horses to shoe, which don't
suit me, as that money should go into
my pocket But now another set Of tel-
lows have got into favor and We must try
our hands on them, and fyou do as tell
you, we will succeed. A ailagent must
be appointed who belongs to the som
nambulic Rip Van Wrinkle family. who
has an impressible mind, so we can make
him see with our eyes and hear with our
ears-such man has been recommended
and will be appointed no doubt-so when
he comes treat him to your best; talk
loud about our patriotic sacrifices for the
glorious Union; make your daughters
sing s'ramp, tramp, tramp, and above all,
tell how great a rebel Vanny is and that
it will not be safe to stay longer in Van
ny's rancho than while they change the
mails this will prevent his getting any
useful information which might spoil our
plans, and feeling himself safe with us.
will fall into patriotic somnambulic
sumber in which he will repeat in rec
concentrations to Uncle Sam and orders
to contractors whatever we suggest to
his mind. Our plans must be these:
First, The great northern mail must be
made to terminate at our rancho instead
of Vanny's, and then the mail from Lit
tie Rock must be bought over; in the
meantime we must work ON the long
talked of Dutch mill road, 50 when the
new contracts are to. be let the routes
must be 50 changed that the mail goes
over the Dutch mill road to Evansville,
this will bring business to our ferry and
take that much away from Vanny, and
leave him out in the cold, you will then
get the passengers and horses to feed, and
coaches to mend, and horses to shoe, and
if Vanny complains We will give him
daily mail from here; there will be more
horses to feed and shoe, and coaches to
mend, and drivers to board. And then
we will have the Little Rock mail to cross
at Dardanelle and come up on this side,
and by our Dutch mill road, we'll get
-four and apples, potatoes and onions,
chickens, butter and eggs, then Vanny
must come to us to buy; this will take
the last feather out of Vanny's cap and
leave him poor plucked bird. This
prospect so excited little Fortee, that he
threw his cap into the air, and with tre-
mendous effort, jumped al inch and q
quarter perpendicular and gave three
cheers for Fortec and his rancho. So
well were all Of Fortees plans laid that
their accomplishment came according to
his expectation, except the crossing Of
the stage at Dardanclle, which we expect
soon 70 chronicle. While these events
were transpirng Vanny slept, but dreams
unpleasant disturbed his slumbers ;he saw
a great serpent coiled about his rancho, it
deyoured wagon loads Of beautiful -four,
and reveled in lucious apples, buckets Of
golden butter and strings and coops OF
chickens were but pleasant desert and
while the monster gorged himself with
luxuiies. his children were dying Of starv.
alton These dreams SO distressed the
heart Of the little. Patriarch, that in half
consciousness he opened one of his little
eyes and saw one Of his sons, that runs
the newspaper, setting on his tripod with
his elbows resting on his knees. and his
chin on the palms Of his hands, in mel
ancholy accents singing:
Fading still fading
Like evening light declining.
Are prospects ofgood printing Jobs
a