The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1867-09-25
SrIcE.-A very nice amusement for

VOLUNTEER DRILLING.
Sweet Amy said, with pleading eyes,
Dear Charley, tell me Twill you?
The words I've heard your captain say
should so like TO drill YOU"
"What, Amy. yet, you take command!
"Wcll! Amy, I'm quite willing;
In such a company as yours,
can't have too much drilling.
"Stand over there, and sing out clear
Like this: Squad stand at case.
90 Charles! You'll wake papa up stairs;
Don't shout like that, dear, please"
II stand at ease like this, you see,
And then / scarce need mention,
The next command you'll have to give
Is, 'Now then, Squad! attention."
"Now, Amy, smartly after me
You're sure. dear. it don't bore you?
Forward'-'Quick March -'Jlait'-'Front'-
Right dress
There now, I'm close before you"
"'Present arms'-wcl. it does look odd,
(Vou dom: believe I'd trife;)
We hold our arms straight out like this
In drill without the rifle. "
"Now say, Salute your officer"
20 Charles! for shame, how can you?
thought that you were at some trick,
You horrid, cheating man, you"
Charles "ordercd arms" without command; !;
She smoothed her rumpled hai",
Poutcd and frowned and buShed, and then
Said softly, CAS- you were."
1t would be difficult to find a harder
case than Sam Jones we imagine; but
should any Of our readers know of one
we will be pleased to notice him. Sam
in question went into the store of Smith,
who had advertised to barter for his
goods, and besides to stand treat on
every trade. Sam called for a knitting
needle, offering an egg in exchange. Af-
ter receiving the needle, says Sam:
"Gome, Sir, amt you going to treat?"
"What or that trade -
"Ccrtainly-a trades trade, let it be
big or little"
"W ell, what will you takc?"
"a glass of wine" said Jones.
The wine was poured out, when the
sponge said, "Would it be asking too
much to request you to put ar egg into
this wine? am very fond Of wine and
egg"
Appalled, by the mans meanncss, the
store-k keey er took the identical egg which
he had received for the da-ning- needle,
and handed it to his customer, who, on
breaking it into his wine-glasS, diScov-
cred that it contained double yolk !"
Look here" said the sponge, "don't
you think you ought to give me another
darning needle? This, you see is a
double yolk!"
We have the authority of very re-
spectacle journal for the following Incl
dent in the life of noted reVivalist
preacher. He was holding forth in Ro-
chester, and in walking along the canal
one day, he came BY boatnan who was
swearing furiously. Thepreacher stopped,
and abruptly demanded of him,
"Sir, do you know where you are 60
ing?"
The boatman very innoccntly answered
that he was going on board the Johnny
Sands.
"No, Sir, you are not said the preach
err; "you are going to he'll faster than
the Johnny Sands can carry YOU"
The confounded boatman looked at
him, and then recovering himself, re-
turned the question,
"And do you know where you are 60
ing?"
II trust am going to the kingdom of
heaven"
mo, you amt bit oft; you are CO.
ing right into the canal" and, suiting
the action to the word, he showed him in,
and left him to founder ashore.
The following valentine is too good for
US to keep. Cut it out young people and
place it away until next valentines:
A VALENTINE.
Oh, lovely Miss Brockett,
s,,i