Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1867-12-28

By THE" "FAT CONTRIBUTOR"
RICHARD III.

RICHARD III.
Richard Third was che Of the kings o.
England who had a wonderfully ready f.cul
~ Of bereaving the family OF any person he
d,dn'i like. He could provide funeral with
corpse upon as short notice ~ any man in
the business. fle couldn's be fooled in bar
ga'n-born With bic eye teeth cut. His nurse
let him fal! when be WAS an infant, aud .
humphack was tue consequence.
Richard wasn't always kng He belonged
to The royal family, to be sure; tut be vas
poor al one time, ar obtained scan = live
hhood b., publishing an a'm.usc. II was
called Poor l.ichard's Almanac Ola Ben
franklin did his printing Richard suffered
great discomfort ia winter, and freuu.n.,,
alluded to it, pa, ticularly If he had to 20 0.
the stage anywher~ This w,n,er of his dis
content was only ,eieved by the visits Of a
lste son he had .n York. who made glori-
o"s summer Tor hun even ia the middle cf
January
Growing w"rry Of he Almanac business.
he Determined TO be KING. lie thought he
could run q throne as we'll a, his brother
Edward, who the" had a monopoly in tha,
line. But il was necessary to remove ssv-
plane, and he Immediately went about j.
with al energy ony exhibited by ncw Ad,
ra'n'stra'ion in removing Po=t&a-:c:s Of op
pos'te political faith. lie began with his
brother Clarence, who stood between bin
aud the succession. Him be caused to be-
se"t to The "Tower,' which ov@riooks the
horseshoe fall a. Niagara. lie then hired
= couple of Niagara Fails hackmen, who ar
ready Tor abou: any vlliany. to 60 to the
lower aud dispatch him This they did af-
ter holding lengthy discussion with him
upon the suite Of the future punishment o:
the wicked, ~b,ch they G aducted with sim
enlar ABILITY. They drow,.c! IT: 10 vat Of
lager beer. a beverage Of which be was ex-
'ravagaully fpud. Richard shed tears when
he saw that Clarence ras on his L,s.'-snit
lie always was AFRAID i! w.Lid carry HIM off
The h.cknen charged exorbi.an'iy foY the
job, ss they do to :A:s day ul Niagara FIX
anything they may do.
Richard had a love affair about this time
thai produced great deal of .slp among
the court circles that is to say. among the
circles that court. In addition to being
hump backed and tow-iegged, he possessed
oher qualities tha: would naturally render
MIN fascinating to women. One day while
taking u walk be encountered small eral
procession on its way to the cemetery. l.
was the final obsequies Of an old centle-
mans son, lady Anns's husband. Tn.
widow Anne was chief mouruer. Richard
commanded the prccessions to halt, and
even offered to whip hack driver VITO show
ed d'spo>i,'on 10 move on.
when Lady Anne cav him she got ou, Of
her back and bera,ed him soun t,y for kill
ing her hu baad an. father in-law, and OBJ
'r"d'nE two fu"erAs upon her 50 near to-
a:shsr HHs 1s lRSSas.d5 lRSssd5dn nJ%. va ndsn t Setter ,Hsy
we're oil dead than alive wha, a world 0!
care he had removed ,hen from until she
came to look upon him as her best friend
Aud the re- uit wa., Richard Obtained per
mission 10 come and 81, up with her the
very next Sunday ght. Oh, woman wo-
mai But let Us not tatry on sentiment
1t 10 history that We have to do with now
Lady Anne became Mrs. Richard Third
She led a very unqui-t life with him on ac-
count OF his having the ght mare 80 much
lie persuaded her to de one day, because il
Cos, so much - live that winter. lie said
it vas positively necessary to reduce his
household expenses. She being an economic
woman, saw The free of his reasoning, aud
expired, like al obediea, wife,
~ she Vas.
Richard Was constantly being called upon
to morn the loss of relatives. lie wore a
weed on his hat about all the time. He was
seen 10 funerat procession Ui,ener than
anywhere else, and his eyes were always red
from weeping ut the grave King Inward
died very suddenly after an atiecIiona,e i'll
t.rv'ew with his brother Richatd, leaving
two sons and daughter. The sors were
shortly afterwards discovered sulo hered it,
their beds, caused BY being covered up too
warm one frosty night. BY direction Of their
uncle Disk, who was ever solicitous for their
comf,r.. Richard then determined TO mount
the throne, there being no reason why be
mount nt. There was \ great time on the
day he MAS corona,ed. He set out q free
lunch in the forenoon, aud at night there
was \ grand coronation ball at the Skating
tickets, ) ; tickets admitting &
<. ntleman and :wo ladies, $l:50.
Once sealed on tho throne, he showed
himself the tyrant that he was He was
,reacherous to his friends, and went back"
on those who had helped him to power. One
friend in particular he caused TO be bebesd
ed. alleging as ali excuse that he had been
playing iaro~-"bucking against the tiger"
Every reader will recall Richards words
upon that 'ecssion-"Of with his head 60
mach .or knckia2 aasm..... .,.,-.--,
led ~ one Richmond, q V.rginian. Richard
. rn1 aucrse icnlly to work to put down the
cb. iiyu. lie mae war speeches instituted
q daft, ana was he author OF the famous
{. On to Richmond articles that appeared
in the New York Tribune during tha. period
II, marched against Richmond. and the re
AMI, is wei, known. The field of Boswoith
proved poor field Tor him. bu. i. ia differ
en-, now. Isn't Boz rorM $1,000 a night,
Dickens take it?
Some attribute the detea, Of Richard to
,h. fac, that ne couldn get "ano'her horse.
He had Que but needed " PAIR to trot sg"'ns'
Richmond. Richard ed. another example
of ths. y.ultins ambition which doth Ger
leap itself, aud falls upon tho so'her aide OF
Jordan.