The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1867-01-17
Hum OROUs


Count Garowski:
The Count was once in heated ar
gument with an ex-rebel, Judge l.
whenhe suddenly said; Judge
l., admire you Why, re-
turned the Judge, : cannot see how
you can admire me after calling me
such hard names! Indeed,
roared the Count, | admire every
thing Eat is perfeck, and you are one
perfeck scoundrell
At an evening party at Aberdeen,
gentlewoman present had resolved |
to indulge in little banter at the ex-
.pense of member of the company,
who was deep in the study of : natu
raj history p +" Pray, sir, (" said the
lady, could you tell me how, when
we were lately at the coast, we were |
followed for nearly mile by a num-
Der of geese? " 8 Really, / am at a
loss replied the youth, unless on
the principle that birds of a feather
flock together z aa al,a
A clock is said to have the least
salf-esteem of any article of; manu-
facture, as it is constantly running
itself down and holding its hands be-
fore its face. however good its works.
An Irishman was asked what was
his religious belief, !" Is't me, .bedade,
We be asking about2'said he. It's
the same as the widow Brady / owe
her thwelye shillings, and she behaves
I'll never pay her, and faith that's
my belafe, too" 9ao1LLsa
SHARP. past summer, as a
lady, modestly attired, was on her way
to New York, on board of one of the
Hudson River boats, she sat quietly
reading in the ladies' cabin when a
fashionably dressed dame, installing
her for a servant, rather rudely ac-
costed her with
DO you know this cabin is for the
ladies?"
$ Certainly I dc" was the. answer,
and / have been wondering for
some time why you were here!'
Euclid, disciple of Socrates, hav-
ing offended his brother, the latter
cried out in rage, Let me die if
| am not revenged on you some time
or other" Euclid replied, +" And let
me die if 7 do not soften you by my
| kindness, and make you love me as
we'll as ever"
Dryden was so bound up in his
books that his wife exclaimed: " /
wish were book that / might al
ways be in your society" II wish
you were an almanac, so [ could
change you every year, replied ne.
Doctor, want you to prescribe
for me-" The Doctor feels her pulse.
There is nothing the matter, madam,
you only need rest. = - Now, doctor,
Just look at my tonguel just look at
it! now say what does that need? :
:" I think that needs rest too. Exit
| madam, in state of great excitement.
/ The Mayor of town, in the West
of England, questioning the boys at
the ragged schools, asked them what
were the pomps and.vanitles of this
wicked world A little boy said
THE Mayor and Corporation going to
church, sir.
The late Sergeant Wilkins, whom q
friend observed quaffing pot of por-
ter in the middle of the day, just be-
fore trial in which he was engaged
at the Old Baily, apologised foT the
seeming imprudence by observing thai
it was a necessary precautlon. Hewa:
about to appear in court, and it was
desirable to fuddle his brain dowr
to the intellectual standard of Brit
ish jury"
CURIOUS STATIsTIos.-Some stats
tical genius declares that more
money is expended in the Unitec
) States for cigars, than for all the com
mon schools of the country.
l A wag, who is. undoubtedly lover
f of the weed, seeing the statement go
' ing through the papers, gets off the
| following:
sit has been estimated that the
cost of washing linen that might jus
as well been worn two days longer
amounts to enough in this country t.
: more than defray the expenses of thu
American Board of Foreign Mis-
sions.l
1.-The expenses of buttons on tn,
: backs of our coats, where they are nj
8 earthly use, is equal to the support 0
q all our orphan asylums. IS
: "ItIis estimated that the value o
c old boots thrown aside, which nigh
: have been worn at least day longer
J: is more than enough to buy flame
!, night gown for every baby in the land
J; Also, that the cost of the extra inc
= on the fall shirt collars of our youn
# men, is equal to the sum necessary
I put a Bible in the hands of ever
e Patigdnian giant
t Our little four year old CARR
,s went With her Aunt to revival meet
y ing. The preacher was very earneS
y in his delivery, and she was much in
a, terested. Mother" said she, whe
o she ca me home, Il have heard such