Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1867-02-22
Mit aud Sf'is,'olu.

| ES-President Day, of Yale College.
aged VI, Is the original 'live-Iong Day"
| Lots of people are killing timc iust
now-steightng it with yengeancc!
Why is Reform like gazelle? BE
cause 1t is a Bright-eyed deer.--Punch
II you have cough, don't go to church
to disturb the rest of the congregation.
When II bootmaker commences To
make boot the first thing ho uses 10
tie last.
Houses should DO furnished with
| large fights for tho convenience Of the
tiue,s.
IF speaker coughs when he hesI-
| tates for ~ thought or Il word, consider
it tie hem OF his discourse.
! Why is the assessor of taxes the best
man In the world +? Because he never
Undertakes anybody. ... ...
Society, like shaded silk, must be
viewed in all its situations, or its colors
Will deceive US.
Human life Is a gloomy chamber, in
which the images of the other world
SHINE the brighter, the deeper it is
darkened.
tLD DDG TRAY.
The old dog Tray's ever faithful. tbev INV.
But dog that Is faithful can never he Tray"
In the late campaign in Louisiana a
pai ty of Confederates marching throurh
swamp were ordered to form two deep.
A corporal Immediately exclaimed, az
am TOO deep already; am up to the
A locomotive on an Eastern railroad
has haan uInpraI .VitI al.
still live." That is more than many OF
the passengers can say at the eud of the
journey.
coNJUGAL spAr.
Loud brayed an ass. Quoth Kate, my dear
tfo spouse with scornful carriage
One OF your relatives hear"
Yes love- said lac. "by marriage"
Is the receiver as bad as the thiefp
80 people say; but although we allow
that thief is u very bad man, 1t seems
evident that the receiver Is better
(abetter).
An Irishman having been told that
the price OF bread had fallen, exclaimed:
This IL the first time liver rejiced at
the fall OF my best friend"
The Round Table says that depots
are constructed on the idea that there
is no place like home, and 1t is best for
people to stay there.
Old lady Ito n hackman )--"But these
hacks are dangerous. We never know
who rides in them. We might get the
small pox.o Coachy--" You're no
cause to be afeared Of my coach, mum.
for I've 'ad the hind wheels waccinated
and IL took beautiful"
A young lady stepped into the store
OF merchant by the name Of Wade.
and very innocently said she would like
TO be peighed (Wade). "Iseally I am
very sorry" said he, ''but my wife will
tell that you are too late by u couple Of
years"
Theodore Tilton says: II know of .
We4tern city whose railroad depot
New York, and yet was asked by
committee Of residents to incite our
brooklyn friends to help 10 build a
church near that Western depot.
declined the proposal until the commit
tee should come 10 Brooklyn and build
a decent shed for the Long Island Hail-
road"
Sfr. Webster Aad shs sunday school.
The following anecdote was lately
narrated at Sabbath School Conven-
ton in New York The speaker iearn-
ed the facts from an officer OF church
In New York, to whom Mr.. Webster
related the conversations:
Mr.. Webster was standing with Mr..
Jefferson on his beautiful portico. over
looking the valleys of the Blue Ridge.
when he said to his friend:
ssMr. Jefferson, what Is to be the
hope Of this country?n
That earnest thinker and statesman
pondered for q little while, and then
said:
Mr.. Webster, If this country is ever
saved. ii Ii going to be by training the
children for Jesus Christi
And he added. with remark able fore
sight, "'rhe Sabbath School, Mr.. Web
sisr, 10 going 20 be one ss the grand
sgsneics Of this sslvaNen,"