Mineral Point weekly tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1859-1868, 1867-04-24
& H Y F E ~ - * e.

g EXT u B - - * Er.
The worst fatigue comes without
exercise
The keynote to good breeding: B
natural.
SHEAR nonsense-cutting the hair
off a fools head
Books, like friends. should be few
and well chosen.
A SCuooLMAsTER struck lie " the
other day-a Juvenile.
TRANSPORTED for life-the man that
marries happily.
Why is learned man like scarlet
Because he's deep read
IF You wish to strike for wages
strike with the axe or hoe.
IT is not what we eat, but what we
digest, that makes Us fat.
WHY is neat housekeere like the
sea? Because she is tide-y.
WHY is a man in a reverie like a
good Joke? Because he's amusing.
WHEN are carpenters like circum-
stance ? When they alter cases.
He who is always his own coun-
sellor, viii often have Il fool for his
client
IT is difficult to reason a man out of
an opinion that he was not reasoned
into.
Why is frozen in canal boat like
Absalom? Because it's caught in the
locts.
AIR is dish which one feeds on
every minute, therefore it always
ought to be fresh.
Az inspiring sight for gIazier
the early dawn when il breaks in the
windows.
A MAN never has the least difficulty
in finding a devoted friend, except
when he needs one.
Few of our ladies have travelled
extensively, but most Of them have
taken tea in China.
i" Coon blood viii always show it.
self" said the old lady when she was
struck by the redness of her nose.
THE Good Templars have excom-
municated The man who got intoxica-
ted with delight.
WHEN the Irisbman first tried
Peaches, he said he liked the flavor,
but the seeds lay hard on his stomach.
a LITTLE fellow, four years old, the
other day nonplused his mother by
making the following inquiry:
" Mother, if man is Mister, amt
a woman Mistcry ?"
"WoN'r you take half Of this poor
/ apple Z" asked a pretty damsel.-
:. No, / thank YOU: / would prefer a
better half" Eliza Jlushed, and refer
red him to her papa.
\ WIDOW lady, sitting by cheerful
/ fire in meditatiyc mood, shortly after
/ her husbands death, sighed out. . Poor
/ fellow, how he did like a good fire. |
hope he has gone where they keep good
fires !"
I AN a great gun, said a tipsv
/ printer, who had been on the spree for
week q Yes, said the overseer,
YOU are a great gun, and halfcocked,
and YOU can consider yourself dis
/ charged - Well" said the typo,
. then l had better go of"
! WIGGrs was one day with a friend,
when he observed poor dog that had
been killed, lying in the gutter
I Virgins paused, gazed at the dead
, animal, and, at last said Here Is
another shipwreck." :" = Shipwreck.
/ Where 2" 9 Why, there's a bark
that's lost forever"
WHERE are you going y said a
Young gentleman to an elderly one in
a white cravat, whom he overlook a
few miles from Little Rock, Arkan-
/ sas. ' am going to heaven, my
son I have been on the way eighteen
/. years.
Well, good-bv, old fellow, if YOU
have been travelling towards heaven
f. eighteen years, and got no nearer to
it than Arkansas, III take another
route
AE old lady. from the country, had
dandy from the city to dine with
her on a certain occasion. For the
desert there was an enormous apple
pie. :. La, Ina'am, said the gentle
man, how do you manage 10 handle
such pie ?"
Easy enough" was the quiet re.
+ ply, We maze the crust up IN q
wheel barrow, wheel it under an ap-
ple-trec, and then shake the fruit
. down into Il.