The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1867-03-30

NlJEAE hhSioihns-h oouS cdiiSo
Separation" that fused to hear in the
remote antiquity Of my boyhood, had a
couplet to the effect that
Spring would be butgloomy weather,
If we had nothing else but Spring.
NV experience during the present
month has convinced me that the song
was right. Boreas, the ruling deity Of
this yernal season, is universally voted
as rude o bore as one sees Oh this side of
,.'Greenland's icy mountains.
After the long eheerlessness and desc
lation of the past winter, it is but nat
ural that the promenading populace
should take advantage of old winters
close to air their new Spring clothes.
They came out with yesterdays sun
beams. Although we have had gale
day for month past, yesterday was
the first approach to a gala-day that
the new fashions have enjoyed.
Don't understand me as complaining
of the dizziness and dreariness that
have marked the meteorology of the
past Ave months. Think it eminently
fitting that Nature should send us incl
ancholy days." clad in funeral robes
and speaking to the heart Of bereave-
mept and woe. The land needs mourn
ing hours. Her hopes, her honor and
her freedom are dead, and over all the
brightness of what she once was--like
heavy pail, shutting out from the
great heart of the people all of light
and JOY that ever gladdened it-there
have fallen the shadows of giant infa-
mics. Well then may leaden skies shut
out the sunbeanis from the sight of sad
humanity.
Speaking of infamy reminds me that
the Governors domicile is being repair
ed. The last Legislature, of which |
am also reminded in this connection.
made an extra appropriation of seven
hundred dollars "for rent Of Executive
mansion" under that clause of the Con-
stitution which provides that, aside
from his two thousand dollars salary,
the Governor shall receive "ns other
emolunents from this or any Other Gorrn-
ment.7 That seven hundred dollars is
now being applied to the external deco
ration of the mansion"
Ny friend Singletwist has blue cot
ton umbrella in which is written "sto-
len from Simon Singletwist.' The fell
low who cribs it will feel about rs COM
Portable as should our Governor when
he looks upon the embellished front of
the Executive rs tablishment. Whether
he feels il or not, there are few expert
enced taxpayers who will not desire to
inscribe upon the gay exterior OF the
Gubernatorial dwelling: "SToLEN FROM
THE PEOPLE OF WEST VIRGINIA"
While l am upon the general topic
of villainy in high places, | may As well
illustrate the subject by remarking that
the Fortieth Congress is still in seS-
sion. Ii will probably not adjourn,
but will take recess-remaining in
a condition of suspended animation,
speedily to pass, let us hope, to state
of animated suspension, identical with
that of fellow who is being hanged.
But alas! this hope cannot be ac-
complishcd, unless we initiate the
French, of Revolutionary memory-in-
troduce n few more gallorSlsms into
our penal system, and hang, just as they
guillotined, upon general principles.
A venerable but facetious friend of
mine, Miss Phoebe Funnifitz, is quite
emphatic in her endorsement of this sem
timent. She thinks Thad. Stevens is q
villain of the first water, Congress wa
ter, suppose she means. She insists
that Butler, tho man of the crooked and
anti-c ocular, was success as Haynau,
and that if Humans place is vacant he
ought TO be successor.
But the pests Of society are not all
in Congress. The verinin especially are
not all there, Many of them are NOV
I ing in the best society of private life;
they have their headquarters upon the
upper crust of fashionable circles. They
have given rise to considerable pleas
antness, by making for themselves
pleasant nests in the water falls of the
reigning bellies. Miss PhGbe is very
much distressed. She bawled all last
night. She affirms with great solemn
ty and decision that if ''she has got EN-
they shall be all ousted at once"
/ Dufiield, the Detroit chemist, has been
giving the "chignon" sensation severe
combing. If all reports are true it WAS
needed, badly, though in tho blithe and
innocent days Of my winsome child
hood, good two-fstcd scratch
was greatly preferable. Dufiield
hurls their own words into the
/ tetth Ol the SutnolS VI tuiA
"gregarine" uproar. When they cry
"pediculi," he responds, "Iou lie." He
evidently thinks many writer's have
abused the license Of their vocation in
saying that the waterfalls have been
"crackcd-up" too much, aud their con-
tentsnot enough. With a double barreled
microscope. he has taken a pair o
sights at various suspected 'chignons,"
and reports no parasites" Iie regards
all this clamor about sresarines rs gas !!
nitrous gas, probably and thinks that en-
vious motives have prompted the outcry
about insects" by those who can't
compare in sex with the fair wearers
of the ''chignons."
This is serious topic. Indeed if it
be true that the false hair and water
falls are a sort of heirloom from dead