Des Arc weekly citizen., 1867-08-10
sALMAGUNDf.


 D@-It isn't pleasant to be in company with fellows who are only what sand wich should be, half-brcd.
 H%One of our exchanges says man "blew out his brains after bidding his wife goodbye with shotgun"
 s6-A Richmond court decided that stealing dog is not theft, Won't somebody steal Butler and Sfckfes?
 n0A virtuous or vicious act to-day, by strengthening our good or bad hab- its, may determine our good or bad fortune year hence.
 D%Most persons choose their friends as they do Other useful animals, prefer ring those from whom they expect the most service.
 D@-To vcx another is to teach him to vex us again; injuries awaken re- venge, and even an ant can sting, and fly trouble our patience.
 p~Grief knits two hearts in closer bonds than happiness ever can; and common sufferings are far stronger links than common joys.
 B"The man who is careful of his own reputation, will be careful of his neighbors. The man who thoughtless- ly speaks ill of another is reckless of his own good name.
 D@There are thirty pounds of blood in the human frame, and two hundred and forty-eight bones. Women have the same number, not including whale bones.
 p@-The printer who was fined S20O in Iowa for hugging girl in church, married her and was therefore released from the penalty. That is what you call jumping ont of the frying pan into the fire.
 D%"Illustrated with cuts" said a mischievous young nrchin, as he drew his knife across the leaves of his gram mar. sfllustrated with cuts l" repeated the schoolmaster, as he drew his rattan across the back of the mischievous urchin.
 S~Lord Cockburn was sitting on the hillside at Bonaly, with Shepherd, and, observing the sheep reposing in the coldest situation, remarked to him "5ohn, if were sheep, would lie on the other side of the hill" The shep- herd answered, "Ah. my Lord, if ye had been a sheep, yc'd hae had mair sense."
 p0rA printer not long since, having been 'flung" by his sweetheart, went to the office to commit suicide with the shooting stick" The thing wouldn't go off. The "devil," wishing to pacify him, told him 10 go into the sanctum where the editor was writing duns to delinquent subscribers. He says the picture of despair reconciled him to his fate.
 lS-A gentleman and his wife, who arc some on pun-ish-ing words, were out in the garden the other evening viewing the fruit trees and growing vegetables, when the wife exclaimed, ''how thick these peas are." The hus- band replied, while examining fruit tree, "ycs, we will De able to have d pe-cach."
 PRINTING ok LEArasR.-Leathcr be- ing more or less porous substance, subsequently, absorbs the ink and ne- cessitates coating which hardens the surface, without changing the color or altering the quality of the leather. To secure this, a slight brushing in. of gum-arabic or white of egg, which is to be left undisturbcd for some hours, to enable the coating to dry thorough ly, is recommended. On the surface so prepared printing ink will stand as we'll as on paper.
 bJ-A little man in the west of Ma- ryland rushed to the Potomac river, last summer, swearing that he would drown himself. When he had waded in to the depth of his waist, his wife, who had followed him, seized him by the hair, and then, as a spectator de- soribes it, she led him back until she had reached place where the water was about two feet deep, where she pulled him over backwards, sousing his head under, and then pulling his head up again: "Drown yourself Clown he went,) leaving me to keep the children! (another plunge.) Get drunk (another souse) and start for the riverl (another dip,) Better use water instead ofram. Canother dip and shake of his head.) I'll learn you to leave me widoww After sousing him to her hearts content, she led him out, a wettcr if not wiser man, and escorting him to the house, shut the door.
 WRITING MAcHIxE.-We learn from the Greenville (Ala.) News that Mir. Pratt, of that place, has obtained pat