The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1867-08-21
Miscellany.
Brief Epistles.
From the New York Evening Gazette

Miscellany.
Brief Episiles. n
From the New York Evening Gazette.
One of the best specimens of the laconic
style was Wellngton's reply to an officers
long winded application for permission to re-
main in England when his regiment was Or
dered 10 India. 1t consisted of but three
words: "Sail or sell. Wellington" Quite as
good was Sir Charles Napler's announcement
of his victory -"Peccavi''-I have Scinde
Inc iaconic correspondence between Grant
anu Sheridan, when Lee was returning from
Richmond, was as good as Putnam's reply to
the British commander, who threatened re-
tallatlon in case the Connecticut general hung
certain spy he had caught Said Sheridan,
Il think If things are pushed, we can drive
them to the wall" Said Grant, "Push things"
strict old Putnam wrote in answer to the
English officer, that the man in question was
tried as a spy, condemned as spy, and you
may rest assured will be hanged as a spy.
L. ). Lie Is hanged" The following cores
Pondence appeared during the fourth year of
our late war: =
ITO President Davis: You must send me
reintorcements, or shall not be able to hold
out against the enemy. BEAuREGARD''8
ITO General Beauregard: i. ...l t.,.,
Il cannot send you reintorcements. want
felnt0rcementS myself. TO ti 80 si't-a
JEFFERSON DAVIS"
Some Of our young readers may not have
heard OF the famous letters which passed be-
tween the adverse chiefs OF O'Connell and Ty-
rome: ID e ~ 3 ~ - =
"Pay me my tribute, or ii you don't--
"OCONNELL."
81 oweyou no tribute, and If did
aaT1 Ffl,llu IA ONIEL."
The poet Rogers used to relate story of
the breVity of Tailyrand's correspondence for
once lady friend wrote to him in terms of
the deepest grief, informing him of the death
OF her husband, and expecting long letter of
coincidence i'm return but the eminent minis
ter's answer was only: reg = q s.,sfili
"HELAs! MADAME: Votre afectionne, etc.
,a ,A, "TALLYRANDno
In less than twelve month the same lady
wrote that she had married again, to which
nthe laconic reply was: sa9y-si ], add 70
: "Oh! Oh! Madame! s. Il 4. 4, Il q, .i's.. PIG
1910 "Votre affeetionne, etc. yJ75s
'Ai't TALLYRAND."
- The same poet had another good story
about an American lady. To his brief inyi-
tation, ~ '''a spe ~. s..il- 1,j
81 "Wil you come to breakfast tomorrow. +
SAMUEL ROGERS"
she replied: ,st..lt4 WA
>, won't ~" 80, . &C D."
:. Almost as good was the answer of Mary
Stoddard OF Wethersfeld, Connecticut, to her
Clerical sutton, who lived in a neighborinp
town. AS she could not give him an answer
when he proposed he requested that She
would take week for consideration and then
send her answer by letter. On the eighth day
1t appeared, and it is undoubtedly the most
iaconlc epistle ever penned. Here is the mod
tel letter, which was soon followed by wed
ding: ~" ". " \ ~ \ ,',fs-.s' - WV
-"kEv. STEPHEN MIX: ts.'iiaia 90 .eol5,o7asl !
s "Yes. 4. '' ,l.ia3.i ri n MARY SroppARp.
The matrimonial Mixture took place on
slaconic. and more kindly than Talyrand's cor,
fespondence, was that which passed between
Garricks widow and Edmund Keap. the eld
er, alter the old lady had seen tile latter's ner
formance of part in which her celebrated
husband was matchless: Us hf.,rg ql - |
My Dear Sir: You can't play Abel Druap-
Ger. aI7 1a,Itq Yours faithfully, ri
.ss,..... .g-e1i G. GARRIole"
TO which the modern Roscus 1aconically
replied: -, ~ - -
MY dear Madam: know 1t.
gssssssss $40 Yours yesy faithfully. Sk
EDMUND KEAN."
The famous actor Foote's correspondence
E with his mother was equally pitby and brief;
/. Dear Son: I'm IN prison. ss1a ~ , q
no Your loving mother, sal4 A. FooTE.n
3Dear Mother: So am I. .''' '..'. 'iel'''g
! lis Your af1ectionateso SAM. FoOTR.n.
Beau Brummell, the particular friend of the
: Prince OF Wales, afterwards George W, had
the following correspondence with one Of Iis
boon companions just before he bolted tor
France to escape his creditors. /, 1t ran thus: |
Ell Dear Davies: Lend me GlOO. AN INV mon
ey isin Three per cents, /. . a. % BsuMsIlsLL."
"Deart Brummell: All NV money Is in The
Three per cents. also. 1871 81 9DA Dai8i-pf
Tr.sr, 80 ScRoPE DAyIEs"
After afamous English boxer had beaten
Mendoza, the Jew, in a prize fght,s be .wrote
to friend as follows:
DEAR JOHN: I've done the Jew.
lani8 Yours sasboia6 Il. HUMPHREY,
= % Turner, the celebrated English painter.
once sent a picture to the exhibition So cum
J ningy executed as to occasion some doubt
J Whlch side should be hung upperrnost. The
manager hung the painting upside down, but
naymg a doubt about it, wrote to Turner
staring what he had done, and requesting an
immediate sreplys In due time. it came to
hand and consisted merely Of two words
"Turn her." f14T'
Another artistic epistle Is good I'M its way!
At meeting held a few years since in aid of
the proposed art gallery at Manchester Eng
land, Mr.. Fairbairn read the following from
friend whose name he did not disclose: oll iI.l
= my DEAR Tom I'll have read your letter
and am going to do It., Put ME down ef!O0O
for the honor AMI glory Of my native town.
;s Many years since we saw a brief and pithy
correspondence, officially published as having
taken place between a distinguished littera1
teur while acting as Secretary of the Navy.
and an agent of the department of the State
OF Alabama. II ran thusc isBgnA ,ba-aa4
Dear Sir:-Please inform this Department
by return of mail, how far the Tombigbee
river runs up. i'3d.o4qe U1hsisfsbHI aiIeG
~ 81 .h Respectfully, etc. q 5.,3
i3nanr aet q. pa 81 issI ID. K. PAULDING.
=. Hon. J. X. Pdulding Dear Sir: In reply
to your letter, / have the honor to say that
the Tombigbee river don't run up, at all.
.ai y, IL, ~. Very respectfully, etc.
Dear Sir: This Department has no further
need Of your services. Respectfully, etc..
I liIi GsltLI j. K. PAULDNG.