Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1867-05-24

For the ss saeF ~ aos eS' IN ins ths s 0s esr
I know that the world, the greas big world, ssa
To see which dog may be Elm in the fault, -
But Will shout for the dog on top. - T. tNt9
But for me never pause TO ask \. -. y,
Which dog may be In the right, II EST I -
For my heart will beat, while It beats as all.
For the under dos In the tight. .agttlutfapo
Perchanss what rye said had better not
Or 'twere said had said Il incog.
But with heartand with glass faiied chocs 70
Hcrsss sas health S to the bottom dog. hia
- flssy - 8hs 9d'F
Things Wise 81 Otherwise
"Sal, p said one girl 10 another, ',I
am SO glad j have mo beau nowph
why so?'', asked the other, f"Oh,
cause 1 can eat as many onions as r
please. ~ i1ai5 hR.3 ~
Nasby says the news Of the Connecti-.
cut election Scum to the Dimocrasy
like the first streak of sunlite In the
mornin, after a mite Of cholera morbus
with no brandy In the house" los
A Frenehman cannot pronouncei
"ship.v The word Is sheep In his
mouth. Seeing an iron-clad, he said
to boy, 'sIsR dish a war sheep?p
"No," answered the boy, "it's a ram.n
A forlorn cuss of the male persuasion,
gets off the following poetical effusion:
"When Sallie's arms her dog imprison,J
l always wish my neck was hisen !,
how often would / stop and turn, to get
a pat from a hand like hern; and when
she kisses Towser's nose, q don't j
wish that i were those gf AZ as *fsifH
In parish school the master was
examining q class I'm photography
Spell and define fioweret,n said he. !,
"F,l-o.w-e-r.e:t, floweret, Q little flow.
err "wavelet. l''W-a-v-e.l-e-t, wave
let, little wave.n "Bullet,n aB-u-i-a
Lett a lettle bull,n shouted urchin,
number three. ass ...r...s .,s.s aHt
"A bachelor remarked to lady that
was excellent TO keep the
feet warm I'M bed. "Yes," said tho
young lady, who was an attentive lis
tener, "but some gentlemen have an
Improvement which you know nothing
about The bachelor turned pale and
maintained a wistful silence. Et.",
Some time last fall, Mr.. -, Of this
city, sold a gun to a trapper living In
the Northwest, agreeing to take his pay
therefor In fur. He has recently re-
ceived letter from the said trapper,
stating that he had gone to Russian
America, aud IL that wasn't t fur enough
he would go Jar-ther. si.. ~ t.s' .2'7s ..
George Francis Train says our mod
ern marriage service should be read
thus; Will you take this
brown stone, this carriage and span,
these diamonds, for thy welded hus-
band? Yes. Will you take this un-
paid milliner's bill; this high water
fall of foreign hair; these afiectation
accomplishments, and feeble constitu-
tion, for thy welded wife? Yes. Then,
what mar has Joined together let the
next best man run away with, so that
the first divorce court may tear them
assunder." ~ f.f4t 4F-f se5ai
A passenger on the st. Charles, and
a native of Erin, sat down at the din
ner table, coming up. A water thrust
q bill of fare into his plate. Whats
that bit ov paper?'' said he. "a bill Of
fare, responded the darkey. rt'Awhat
Is 1t, said he, getting up and leaving
the table. "T've paid me fare, and
damme liz / don't lave the boat before
We git dom clint more out q, me for
the grnb.n Captain, George Hart ex-
planned the matter, and the passenger
went back and CLEANED outn the table.
Perhaps few of the ,'llords of crea-
tion,r In this Vicinity, need little ad-
vice of the Following character: "Praisc
your wife, man, for pity sake, give her
a little encouragement, 1t won't hurt
her. She has made your home eomfort-,l
able, your heart bright and shining,
your food agreeable for pity sake, tell
her that you thank her, IL nothing
more. She don't, expect it;p it will
make her. eyes open wider than they
have this ten years, but. 1t will do, her,
goodfor all that, and you too. 9h 7af'
an oan sStss ssS sss sn.Sss Ssss M Wsm ss ss%
ardg'i Imagine his rage when Il dame
to him headed "Richard the Thirdip
Yetany body familiar with chirography,
If his fnky jerks can be SO designated,
will readily see, not only how sueil d
mistake could be made, but how IL
probably would be. Again he wrote
about three men In buckrain,n ~ and
the prosaic ty ype-setter got it s'three men
In a back room. - And this, notwith-
standipg the fact that two competitors
of sagacity and experience are hired at
All extra salary, because they can read
bis copy. But George Ripley has been
the victim of the grossest outrage In
this lipe. Is In opeof his book i notices
he took the liberty Of quoting from
Shakespeare, "'Tis true, tits pity and
pity 'tis; 'tis true..u And the wfetched
bungler got 10, .s,Tis two, tits fifty, 5,tis
fiftyr 'tis tiftyrtwoY,r aif Il aaiseas i
a. Chicago papersays: 1--WE took q
new reDOrter ula trial vneferrinv. He.
away ali sSy Seturned WITH % tsf ths foIiowss Is,s
ing, (which he said was the best lie
could do: "a ssYasterday we saw sight
that froze our muscles with horror, IA
Q rapid pace, came very near .ruhning.
over 4 nurse ana atwo children: TThetS
.wouldeh have been zone of the most heArt-
had not the nurse. with wonderful fore.
thought, left the children at home be-
fore She went out, and pfovidentially
stepped into drug store just before the
hack passed. Then, too, the hackman,
Just before. reaebingr the crossing,
thought OF something that he had for
gotten land, ? turning about, brove in
the opppsite ldinection.1 Had tt not.
been for this wpnderful coneurrapce ef'
favpTing circumstances, q doting father,
d I0viffg mother and affectiohatc
brothers and SISTERS would have been
plunged into the deepest woe and most
unutterable, funeral .expeIses, The
new reporter will be retained," I.
BY the way. speaking of anecdotes, 4
must give you one which one of the
most talented, snccessftil preachers In