Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1867-07-04
Items Cornrque.

An exquisite divine put the finishing
touch to a marriage ceremony when he concluded
by saying: now pronounce you husband and
lady"
Its rather remarkable that while
several thousand feet are required to make one
clent to make one civil. g.
"A country editor, describing the bon
nets now in fashion, says: ''They have q downward
slant that reminds one of a vicious COW with a
board across her eyes"
|HTFt Says Jack, my head nearly break
~ g To find rhyme to Russia;
if N Why, answers Tom, its motto take
< ~ . Surrender, orl1llcrush ye.''
"A darkey preacher was telling how
Adam was the first man created, and set against
the fence to'dry. An old brother who sometimes
had lucid ideas, interrupted him and said If dat
am true, who made de fence ~ Pass around de
sasser. ~ "
+ --The other evening, a gentleman's
button caught hold of the fringe of ladys shawl.
I" l am attached to you, said the gentleman laugh
ing while he was industriously trying to get loose
The attachment is mutual, - was the good -hu-
mored reply.
An old LADY, WHO wasAabout to
breathe her last received call from an acquaint-
ance Ignorant of the mortal Illness The answer
sent down from the chamber of the departing suf-
ierer was memorably unique: MADAME -
sends her compliments to Madame -, but begs
TO be excused, as she Is engaged IN dyiRg!"
An absent minded professor, in
going out OF the gateway of his college, ran against
COW. In the confusion of the moment he raised
his hat, and exclaimed II beg your pardon, mad
anne" Soon after he stumbled against lady in
the street; in sudden recollection of his former
mshap, he called out: 6 Is that you again, you
brute?n S .
"A publisher of paper made ar
engagements with man in a neighboring town to
furnish him with news items from that locality
The result of the arrangement was as follows, and
was rather startling to the editor: There IL not
much noos arond here yit, but there IL littul. A
man had hlz he'd cut in fife last mite, the docktur
says If he don git well before monin, that he will
hev to die sartan he leves1 small wife and family
Another man u sick and CESS he'z got the kolery
but sum people say hlz wife. p1Zened bin; the
docktur kant tell yet bnt when he dies they air
goin to hold post n10rting over him. and find out
whats the matter, Another mans horse dide last
mite he Good eat moar then emmy cattul round
and since he dide oats hev gone down tn sents on
bushell. This IL all the noos here now. Don't
forgit to send 2apur YooR KoEIsPUNDINT
MIR Smithson Gan improvement on
the celebrated name OF Smith, wished to take Miss
had been on terms of intimacy with the family for
about five years, but never spoke of love - on
the contrary, he had frequently declared his nten
ton of leading bachelors life Once he put his
hand to the bell handle and was admitted "Oh !
James, exclaimed Miss Jane, where have you
kept yourself so long?n This took Smithson a
little aback for he had spent the preceding evening
with the family. Beforehe could answer, however,
James brothers and sisters eight or ten in num-
ber,) had gathered about him. Summoning all his
courage, he said: Il have come to ask you--''
g Not here James not-now--ohi - /" That is, -
stammered Smithson, = if you're not engaged -
"Ohl oh water-quickr' Whats that?'' in
CURED her father; 'Fwho says engaged?'' 81 did
not mean-'' said Smithson, in conclusion. OF
course not" continued Mr.. Brownly, you've
always been our fayorite - Then advancing and
taxing poor Smithson's hand, he said: Take her
she's q good girl and loves you to distraction.
May you ever be as happy as the day is longl"
Thereupon father and mother and children crowded
bod
pany coming in at that moment, the affair was told
to them as profound secret. So Smithson got a
wife without popping the question, and almost be
fore he knew it himself But we cannot help
thinking he was hurried into matrimony.