The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1867-01-19

Sc. Paul was not q married man, nor does it
appear By his writings on the subject, that he
had very exalted opinion of matrimony-.
though, in the expression of his opinion, he
frankly confessed that he spoke by permission
and not by commandment. lie had, howev-
er, seen enough of the happy fruits of the con-
jugal relation to perceive that 'he who is mar
ried careth how he may please his wife, ana
"she that is married eareth how she may pieals
her husband" This is not the case WIN @'s
husbands and wives; fol even husoan0s a,'u
wives are sometimes only such IN ID" ieany,
they never were .'married"-that Is, their al
tantiops vare never heartily blended-they
have not became "hke kindred drops mingled
into onen some accidental circumstance, or
some hasty passion had brought them to the
altar where they pledged love they never
really felt; and such unmarried husbands and
wives too often spend their day, not in caring
how they may please each other, but in taking
course quite opposite to this. A miserable
policy, truly! when every degree OF injury you
indict upon the other is but bringing trouble
on Jour own head. No relation of life requires
greater forbearance and tenderness than that
Of husband and wife. Love is delicate plant
that must be nursed with constant care. The
storms of angry passion are sure to blight and
destroy it. Where the effort to please is a
mutual and earnest one, there is little danger
OF any serious interruption of domestic happl-
ness; but where no such effort is made, 1t is
almost impossible to preserve mutual respect
and confidence.
Mr.. A. is naturally nervous man, easily ir
ritated. He received in early life pretty lib
eral education, and has always had fondness
for books and literary matters IN general.
Having moved from childhood ia what is call
ed good society," he has an opinion of him
self sufficiently exalted, and may be--though
tmconscioIlsy, somewhat aristocratic in his
feelings and manners. His wife, on the con-
trary, was brought up in a very democratic
way. Her opportunities for learning in youth
were small, and the height of her ambition
was not to digest Euclid or to read Locke, but
TO keep the house in order, cook well, and
mend the clothes to the best advantage In
this she Is as proficient as is her husband in
the sciences OF Phrenology and Animal Mag
netism. When Mr.. A. addresses her, he first
pauses to consider the structure OF the senten-
ces he is about to pronounce; every thing is
done by rule-the words are measured and
made granlmatically correct in every particu-
lar. II his wiie's reply is not equally precise
and grammatical he begins to criticise her
language and to reproye her for ignorance.
This she takes as evidence that he considers
himself her superior, and being determined
by the democratic principles of her youth, to
strike for the right OF equality, sometimes she
Is tempted TO DO this with the broomstick, J
she knows no other or better way to maintain
her end of the yoke but by a TRADE OF low and
vulgar Drawing. This irritates her nervous
husband the mere to see such gross ignorance
in his wife, and he begins to read homiy of
wrath by book. He cannot proceed far, how
ever in his discourse before his in1amed spouse
browns out his speech by a louder ertempcr-
seous performance; and il, Before they get
through, shoulders are not shaken and hair is
not pulled, the children present are lucky by
not suffering from such an example-that's
all.
Al these and other similar evils might be
avoided or cured, If every husband would try
10 "please his wife," /. e., when he can do so
without too great a tax upon his purse to the
goddess Fashion; and if every wife in turn
would strive to "please her husband" when
ever she can do so without feeling that super
ciliou5 selfesteem which provokes his notions
ofsuperioiity. In the marriage relation there
can be no liberty without equality; and that
equality Is to be secured only by an allowance
of each others appropriate rights, and cor
responding delicacy in the exercise of them.-
BY concession and tenderness many mar
rage originally unequal might be made on
tho who.e a pleasant aud happy one.
TEAxI.