Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1867-08-13
HUMOROUS.
Jim Wolf and the Tom Cats.

Here is one of Mark Twain's good stories.
he knows how to make the reader laugh, and
if the following does not provoke smile, it is
because there is no mirth in mankind during
the hot weather:
knew by the sympathetic glow upon his
bald head-I knew by the thoughtful look
upon his tace-I knew by the emotional flush
upon the strawberry on the end of the old
free liver's nose, that Simon Wheeler's mem
ory was busy with the olden time. And SO
prepared to leave, because all these were
| symptoms OF a reminiscence-signs that he
was going to be delivered of another of his
tiresOme personal experiences-but was too
slow; he got the start Of me. AS nearly as
I can recOlect, the inaiction was couched in
the following language:
We were all boys, then, and didn't care
for nothing, and didn't have no troubles, and
didn't worry about nothing only how to shirk
school and keep up revivin' state of devil
ment all the time. Thish.yar jim Wolf I
was talking about, was the prentice, and
he was the best hearted Teller, he was. and
the most fOrgivin' aud onselfsh ever see
well, there couldn't be a more butler bow
than what he was, take him how YOU would !:
and sorry enough 1 was when see him for
the last time.
6 Me and Henry was always Fostering him
and plastering hoss, bills on his back aud put
ting humble bees in his bed, and so on, and
sometimes we'd crowd in and bunk with him
Notwithstanding his growing, and then we'd
let on to get mad aud fight acrost him, SO as
to keep him stirred up like. He was nine
teen, he was, and long, and lank, and bashfuI,
ana We was htteen and sixteen, aud tolcrably
lazy and worthless.
- 60 hot
Mary give the candy puIlin', they started US
off to bed early, so as the comply could have
full swing, and We rung in on Jim to have
some fun.
"Our winder looked out onto the roof of
the ell, and about ten o'clock u couple of old
tom-cats got to rairin' and chargin' around on
it and carryin' on like sin. There was four
inches Of snow on the roof, and it was frozen
so that there was right smart crust of ice
on 1t, and the moon was shining bright, and
we could see them cats Ike daylight First,
they'd stand off and e-yow. VOW VOW, Just the
same US if they was a cussin one another, YOU
know, and bow up their backs and push up
their tails, and swell around and spit. and
then all of a sudden the gray cat he'd snatch
handful of fur out of the waller cats ham.
and spin her around, like tho button ON
barn-door. But the yalier cat was game, and
he'd come and clinch, and the way they'd
gouge, and bite, and howl; and the way
they'd make the fur fly was powerful.
.'Well, Jim. he got disguised with the row,
and lowed he'd climb out there and snake
him off n that roof. He hadn't RELY no no.
ton dom it, likely, but we everlastin'ly dog
ged him, and buIlyragged him, and lowed
how he'd always Dragged how he wouldn't
take dare, and SO on. till bimeby he highst-
hn nj IL nj HI, IL !.
went-weut exactly as he was-not6in' on
but shirt and it was short. But you ought
| to seen him! You ought to see him ere c pin
over that ice, and diggin' his toe-nais aud
and tinger>nais in for to keep from slip
! PIN and 'bove all, you ought to seen that
shirt haPPin' in the wind, and them long RI
dlcklous shanks OF his'n a.glistenin' in the
moonlight.
"Them comply folks was down there un-
der the caves, the whole squad of 'em under
that onery shed of old dead Washin ton Bow
er vines-all sctt'n round about two dozen
sassers of hot candy, which they'd sOt in the
snow to cool. And they was laushin' aud
taikin' lively; but they didn't know noth-
in bout the panorama that was goin' on over
I their heads. Well, Jim, he went a-sne akin
and Sneakin up unbeknowns to them TOM
catS-they was swishn' their tails and VOW.
SOHlu anu lhIeaIenln 10 cllnch, you Know,
| and not payIn' any attention-he went a>sne-
akin right up to the comb of the roof, till he
was in foot n half of 'em, and then all
| of sudden he made a grab for the yaller cat !!
But by Gosh lie missed fire and slipped his
holt, and his heels flew up and he hoppcd on
his back and shot off that roofl like dart -
went smashin' and a-crashin' down through
them old rusty vines and landed right in the
dead centre Of all them comp'ny-peope =
sot down like earthquake in them two doz.
en- sassers of red hot candy, and let off howl
that was bark FIN the tomb! Them girls
we'll they felt, you know. They see he warn't
dressed for comply and so they left All
| done in a second, it was Just one little war
whoop, and whish of their dresses, and
blame the wenCh of 'em was in sight any,
| whersi
"Jim he was asight. He was gormed with
that biIin' hot mOlasses candy clean down to
his heels, and had more busted sassers hangin'
to him than if he was a Injun princess aud
he come prancin' up stairs just .whoopin'
and cussin,' and every jump he gave he she'd
some china, and every squirm he fetched he
| driPped some candy!
And blistered Why bless your soul, that
| pore cretur couldn't rely set down comfort
able for as much as four weeks"
SCARE Me AGAIN.--A young gentleman,
! or an elderly one we do not remember which