Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1867-05-03
GAME or cRABJA.
ACCORDENG TO sT. sTEPHEN.
CHAPTER III.


neyings, and were come back each one to
his own house, and had brought with them
the information they had gathered in Gle
ve-land, and the light which is Rush bad
safely deposited the fish which he bought.
that they assembled in the mosque of Sam
uel the Phunney. And they considered
the words which the Phunney had spoken
to them that Barnabus the Finnegan must
be made u-per-in-ten-dent OF Police.
But one amongst them said "What will
the people say? We have promised afore-
time, and in the day when war held high
carnival in heland, that we, the loy-al, the
salt, and the morality of this nation would
give unto the warriors, and they who went
forth to battle, the offices. Lo, hereis one
Theodore, a captain over many men, yea a
centurion, of whom it is swritten by great
and mighty leader, one Sherman, that he
Is valiant and brave man. Let as now
redeem our words, let us do right though
the heavens fall. Let US give unto Theo-
dore. the centurion, the office of Supper
in-ten-dent.n 80
And they who heard these words did
eye, and did inquire if anything verdant
could be discovered therein, and with one
accord they did exclaim, "Bosh!n Now
.sbosh'' is a Greek word, and meaneth can't
see it. .''s1'a .se sa g -
So they did elect Barnabas to be Supper
in-ten-dent, and one Michael, a Hi6ernian,
did they set over the people as Captain.
But when it was known to Samuel the
Phunny that this thing was done, he rose
In his might and appeared to the Metro
po-li-ti-cians, and drawing his beaver down
on his nose, and drawing the northeast cor
ner Of his mouth towards the southwest
corner.of his ear, he opened his mouth and
said: aOh, ye suckers! How long must
bear with your bull-headedness Have
not sheltered you even as hen shelters her
chickens under her wing? Have not got
you into places where you can grab as
much as you please? And thus ye de
spise my counsels and disregard my plain
commands. Woe unto ye, men of little
brains, if ye pretend to have wills of your
own. J. will withdraw my countenance
from you, and you will become laughing
stock. How comes il that you place
an Irishman in whom the people
have confidence as Captain over the
police? Do not aud all OF
you believe in the good old Know Nothing
doctrine that Irishmen are Lot the equal of
negroes. Then why have you done this
thing? To your tents, oh Me-tro-po -li-ti-
ciansl Scratch out the name of tnis Mi
chael, and give the Captaincy Co man OF
my choosing. That ye may the better con-
troll the Little Wanderer, who maketh
trouble among you, and who will not be
led by the nose, and doth not belong to the
salt. give unto Michael the position of Ser
geant." And even as he commanded so did
they. ,osrs- szgF,stt5s a,s.s .sisat.-z 1900, r
Now there were among the tribe of De-
mo-erats certain lawgivers who were de-
termined to overthrow the plans of the
worshipers of Nig-gah. And when they
were gathered together in council, they did
say one7 unto another: '.Let us STOP
these Nig-gah worshipers in the abuses
they design putting upon the people. Le
US apply the charter of our State to thu
law and see if itsquares herewith" rsn
And they did go into the courts and there
obtain an injunction. to compel them tc
stop their iniquities and bow submissively
to the wilt~of the people. And William
the curly-haired, who is Sheriff, did tax,
the writing unto them, and did read untt
taem the contents thereof. And they 4seF'
sore afraid, and their knees smote together
and they said one to the other, slet'
liquor 80 Z 81 ~ -! :, -
And Raymond, who stickethto an Office
like a. Burr to a sleeps back looked
blank, and tears of pearl ran down his
cheeks like pumpkins down hill, for b
hoped to continue his services with Uncl
Samuel in the post orifice at 1900 green
backs per year, and serve the dear people Q
Columbus, also, at another 1900 greenback
per year, the greenbacks to be of, the yalu'
of four shekles Of silver each, and hoped b.
this meansto heap up many ducats. =
| And great fear fell upon Barnabus, The
Finnigan, for he, also, was in hope sof 12O
| greenbacks for the year,aud upon Conine-
4 or-ten, who ,thoughtto get 1000 greenbaeks
and on the sergeants and policemen win
4 hoped to get 500 or 800 each. e.
For here's where the Game of Grab come
4 In. ai 6af "a 81 : g5sa.s1 r. tal son
The Democrats had watched the tribu
tary whilst men slept, and had taken TIN
perverse aud hard of heart, and the deve
tees of the King Whisky and all disor
4 derly persons, and thieves who breal
through and steal, and had them locked ii
! the castle which is called the 'boosc, and al
4 for 1890 greenbacks of the value of fon
4 shekels of silver each. But the Metro
politicians required $4,000 or. 24,0O
greenbacks of the same value for the sam
work. And the difference between tn
4 1900 and the $4,000 they propose to gral
from the pockets of the citizens of thi
tributary and place them in their own
Il And the further doipgs of Samuel th
Il Phunny, aud of John who roameth, tn
Field, and of him with three Js, and of tn
Rush which is light. and Of Harvey tn
jolly, 10, they are written in a book, an
the world shall know of them, when on
head don't ache SO like thunder. And
shall be the fourth chapter of the Game G
Grab. 19ss ,-i }eg :, .o.., 50
psaTHE EMMETT ZoUAvEs BALL--The MOI
enjoyable as well as the largest ball of th
season, was that of the Emmett Zouave
givenin Harris g. Ss.Zigler's Hall last nigh
Some two hundred couples were presen
! and the hours passed gloriously, happil,
as they always do when beauty, courtes
and right good will go hand in hand. Su,
. cess to the gallant Emmett's and to IL
] bright and lovely ladies whose grace al
: beauty made the affair complete success
HOUSES AND LUMBER AT. TOD BARRAcI