Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1867-09-04
BASE BALL.
Emmy sketch by one who Tried to Learn

Ihe OaSe Dali mania seems fatHef ~ Os
on the increase than on the decline. i
is good game, and while we advise yonns
men to ego in on it," we suggest tha
they read the story Of man who was ar
admirer of base ball @ 5a
Look at that brace Of hands, once sof
and pretty, now suAused with the Egyp
tian bushes. Look into those optics ane
tell us tales of sympathy. And look or
that Mount Tom on our right cheek bone
Base ball That is the row
It came about thus Secondary deploy
ment is too shirksome on the system. The
doctor said we needed exercise Doctor
knows Ie told us to join base ball ; WE
joined. Bought book of instructions
and for FIVE days studied it wisely, if no'
too we'll. yhen we bought sugar scoop
cap, red belt, green shirt, yellow trow-
sers, pumpkin colored shoes, paper col
lar and purple necktie, and with lot
of other delegates moved gently to the
ground.
There we're two mines These mines
were antagonists The bah is pretty
little drop of softness, the size of goose
egg and FIVE degrees harder than rock.
The two mines play against each other.
1t is quiet game, much like chess, only
little more chase than chess
There was an umpire His position is
hard one He sits on his box and yells
''fowl." His duty is hard one.
I took the bat. It is murderous
plaything. descended from Pocahontas to
the head of John Smith. The man in
front of me was pitcher. He was nice
pitcher, but he sent the balls hot. The
man behind me was catcher. He caught
it, too! j. e
Umpire said splay" It was the most
radical play | know of, this base ball.
Saving cork-w 5od is moonlight ramb]es
beside base ball. So the pitcher sent a
ball toward me. Itlooked pretty coming,
so | let it come. Then he sent another.
| hit it with cub and hove it gently
upward. Then [ started to walk to the
first base. The ball lit in the pitcher, or
in his hands, and somebody said he caught
fly. Alas poor fly ! walked leisure
ly toward the base. Another man took
the bat I turned~to see how he was
making it, and mule kicked me on the
cheek The man said it was ball, 1t
felt like mule, and [ reposed ON the
grass The ball went on
Pretty soon there were two more flies,
and three of us few out Then the other
nine came In, and us nine went out. This
was better just as [ was standing on
my dignity in the left field, hot bail, as
they called it, came rooketing toward
me. My captain yelled, take it p
[ fastened gently forward to where the
ball was aiming to descend. have a
good eye to measure distances, and saw
at a glance where the little erolite was to
light. [ put up my hands, How sweet
ly the ball descended. Everybody looked
Il felt something warm in my eye !!
"Mufinp p' yelled nine fellows. Muffin
be id! It's a cannon ball !" For three
days I've had two pounds Of raw beef on
that eye, and yet it palneth! II
Then [ wanted to 60 home, but my gen.
tie captain said 'nay." So I mayed and
stayed. Pretty soon it was my strike.
"To bat" yelled the umpire. l went,
but not all serene, as was my wont The
pitcher sent in one hip high. It struck
me on the gullet Fowl" yelled the
umpire. He sent in the ball again. This
time [ took it square and sent it down
the right field, through parlor window,
kerosene lamp, and rip up against the
head of an infant, quietly taking its
nap in his or it's mothers arms. Then l
slung the bat and meandered forth to the
first base. | heard high words and look
ed. When [ slung the bat had with it
broken the jaw Of the umpire, and was
fined ten cents. The game went on.
| liked it. 1t was so much fun to run from
base just in time to be put out, or to chase
ball three-fourths of mile down hill,
while all the spectators yell "mufhn p
"go it," "home stretch % ego round
again p ego round dozen times p Base
ball is sweet game. When it came my
turn to bat again, [ noticed everybody
moved back about ten rods. The new
umpire retreated about twelve rods. He
was timid. The pitcher sent 'em in hot.
II ot balls in the time Of war are good. AT
terra while I got a fair clip at it,and you bet
it went, cutting the daises down the right
field A fat man and his dog sat in the
shade of an oak enjoying the game. The
ball broke one leg of the dog, and landed
like a runaway engine in the corporosity
of the fat man. He was taken home tc
die.
Then went on double quick to the
field, and tried to stop a hot ball. 1t came
toward me from the bat at the rate of nine
miles minute. | put up my hands
THE ball went sweetly singing ON its way
with all the skin from my palms with it.
r., More raw beef. ...s .......-... .s.
That was an eventful chap who frs
invented base ball. It's such fun. -a.s