Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1867-04-02
National Propositions.

Inc Chimney Corner, that very interesting
periodical of Frank Lcslie's has the following
in its funny column, on "charact eristic pop
ping"
Yankee: Jonathan-"Sal, der yer love
doughnuts'
Sal-"Ycs, Jonathan; why?"
Jonathan-"Oh, nothin'; only Jus consid
er me one O them doughnuts"
Western: Loquacious ndvidual-"Iollo,
old gal sec here! I've scaterlofistercated
all over the equinimity of this ere country
looking for just SIGH critter as you. What
sav-will yer hitch ?"
Western Gal-"O shuckg-I calkerlate
so let's git up and git"
Dutch: uans-"Ich will habcn you, Jo-
hannas. loves you more better than does
mein lager beir."
Johannas-" Oh-ya, Hans, dat list good"
French: French Gallant-"Oh, Mademoi-
sclie, will you do re very much honor to ac>
cept re hand ?"
Mademoiselle-"W Monsieur, you make
my face very much rouge. Ask Madam
Voulez>vouz?
Jew: Hamman-"Matilda, I have five
gold watches, almost as good as new-von
good lot of secondhand clothing and Won
good camel-hair shawl, which I will give to
you you will be mine bride"
MatiIda-"Dear Hannah, can't resist
but let me see the camel-hair shawl first"
Irish: Patrick-"B iddy, darling-would
yeez like new house, COW, pig, and me-
self in the bargain %
Bridget-"Och, Paddy-don't be taxing
me! It's the Praste we're afther wanting"
SOME WATERFALL.-A waterfall of such
ponderous proportions was lately seen walk
ing into the Episcopal church in Pittsfeld.
Ia 1o,l -
the sexton was obliged to give its proprictress
{; seat in front in order to shut the outside
door.
A DIsTINcTIoN.-"Why, man." said
bothering counsel to sailor witness. lyon
don seem to know the distinction between
thick and long" Don't !, though ?'' "Ex>
plain it, then" "Well, you re- plaguy thick
headed, but-you amt long headed, no how"
said Jack with grin.
UsEFUL-A lady tramped on dogs tail
at Omaha the other day, and the animal Bit
her leg. The blood did not flow, however;
only sawdust few. He did not 90 deem
enough tor blood. This is the most useful
purpose We have ever heard of false calf
serving.
A REMEDY.-An exchange assures Us
that pouring cold water on the face and head
destroys the effect of narcotic poisons. A
girl poisoned with laudanum in England was
saved in this way, after all other remedies
had failed.
A hill, we think, should have some of
the yarn manufactured from the wool of
rebel ram, IN order to knit its own brow.
"A man who was thrown through win
dow, sash, glass and all, remarked afterwards
that he had never experienced such piercing
P0neS before.
An American was asked what he thought
OF the famous statue, Venus de Mcdicis. He
replied wal stranger, | guess don't care
- The Imperial Court of Rious, France
has just decided that the cpithet 'srcma!c'
applied to a woman constituted an insult.
= The best definition of cholera. barring
Its lrreverence, is Beechcr's last. He saws
that cholera is Gods opinion of nastiness.
- 1t is remarkable that the word "educa-
ton contains all the vowels of the English
Alphabet.
"A foppish follow being asked what two
things he loved most, replied My lasses aud
buckwheat cakes"
There is man in Illinois so big that he
fishes with railroad cline" and smokes
stove,Pipe.
- What is Wit? That peculiar kind of
talk that leads to pulled noses and broken
heads.
No less than 1905 treaties of pcace
have been signed within the last 200 years.
= WHAT'S Fashion? Dinner at midnight,
and headache in the morning.
- General Washington stood six feet three
in his slippers.
= Veal and Woe. An omnibus horse suf.
1ers much from wheel and wo.
Dogs are like Joe Miller, because they
furnish wags with their tale
When thunder claps, for whom is the
applause intended