The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1867-02-19
stern father or big brother in asking

some respects as dangerous TO courtship
as to the Penteteueh. But, neverthe-
less, 1t gives the clever and courageous
match maker an advantage of which
the eligible bachelor complains that she
makes the most pitiless use. He finds
himself Unanswered into "paying the
attentions which society considers the
usual prelude to a marriage, with a
dexterfty which il is all but Impossible
10 evade. The lady Is played into his
hands with much the same sort of skill
that conjuror exhibits in forcing a
card. There are, perhaps, a number of
other ladies present, in promiseuous
filtration with whom he sees, at first
glance, an obvious means of escape.
But this hope speedily turns out deiu-
sion. One lady is vigilantly guarded
by Jealous betrothed; second is a
poor relation or humble friend, who
knows that she woaid never get another
: invitation TO the house if sht. uuce in
teriered with her patrons plan; a third
Is too plain to be approached on any or
binary calculation of probabilities; a
Z fourth Is hopeleSSly dull; the rest are
married, and if not actualIy themselves
1 in the hich, however, is
as likely as uot-are still careful "
chosen for their freedom from the dirt
ing propensities of the risky matron.
! the destined victim finds, in short,
that he must either deliberately resign
J himself 10 be bored to death, or boldly
/ face the peril in store for him, and
! take his chance of evadinS or breaking
\ the net Nine men out of ten naturally
choose the latter alternative, too often
! in that presumptuous spirit of self-eon-
} ndeuce which is the Inatch-maker's hast
! ally. a bachelor is perhaps never in
so great danger of being caught as
| when he has come to the conclusion that
J he perfectly sees through the mothers
little game and merely means to amuse
! himself by carrying on Il strictly guard
! ed Irritation with the daughter. We
mean, OF course, on the assumption
tnht the daughter is either pretty or
( clever girl, with whom any sort of dir
tation Is in itself periious. His danger
; Is all the greater II il happens-and il is
only fair to young-ladydom TO admit
that II often does happen-thAt the
daughter has sufficient spirit and self
/ respect 10 repDdiate all share in the
/ maternal plot. Many a man has been
half surprised, half Piqued, into seri-
Z Gus courtship by finding himself yigor-
! ously snubbed and rebutfsd where he
had been led TO imagine that his slight
est advances would be only too eagerly
received. But, in any case, the match
maker knows that, If she can onIv
| bring the two people whom she wishes
I to marry sufficiently often into each
others society, the battle is half won.
According to Lord Lyton, whom every
one Will admit 10 be an authority on the
philosophy of Irritation, ..proximity is
the soul OF love-" And eligible bachel-
ors complain that il becomes every day
harder TO avoid this perilOus proximity,
and the duty OF "payiug attention,' -
which 1t implies without being posi-
I lively rude
We have not much consolation TO Of
I fer the sufferers who prefer this COM
4 plant. As regards our own statement
l that The art of matchmaking requires
cultivation, we do not mean by il TO
imply that matchmaking is not yigor-
I ously carried on. So long as there are
mothers left with daughters to be mar
ned, so long will matchmaking con-
tinue to be pursued: and it must obiyi-
ousty be pursued all the more energet-
lcal4y TO keep pace with the growing
dlsinchnatiou of bachelors among the
upper and middle classes to face the re-
sponsibilitieS of married life. We
mean that match making does not re-
ceIve the sort of cultivation which il
seems TO US fairly TO deserve, when we
consider the paramount importance of
the object which il at least Processes to
have IN view, and the delicate nature
OF the instruments and experiments
with which II is concerned. We have
not yet mustered up courage for the at
tempt 10 show what should be its
proper cultivation; but we may safely
say that so long as il Is left in the hands
OF those who are influenced by merely
mercenary or interested motives, and
who watch the attentions" of bachel-
or, not in the spirit of philosopher or
a pbilanIhrnpist, but in that of a Bel
grHvlan mother, il cannot be Guilt
waited as hne art. II can only
be rescued from the uumerited odi-
um into which it has fallen by being
taken under the patronage of those
who are in position to practice it on
~ HEWHE Il
grounds In their hands, the now per-
ilous process of paying attention.
would be studied and criticised IN a new
spirit. 1t might still, indeed, be treated
enthusiastically, as perhaps the most
promising way of reducing il to the pre-
Gislon and certainty of an exact science.
But stlA the problem would be to de-
termine, not what is the leasL possible
number of dances, calls, OF compli-
ments which may justify the interEen-
ton OF big brother or heavy father,
Dur what number warrants the assump-
ton that the Irritation has passed out of
the frivolous into the serious stage.
Three dances, for instance, NAV expose
man to being asked what are his tin
tenuOns, where six dances need not
imply that he really has any. The mer-
cenary matchmaker considers only
the first point; our ideal matchmaker
would lay far more stress upon tie
-@AA 1AAAAF Az an GdSt1. LnAH
growing tendency TO treat the practice
OF paying attention" in the spirit of
exact science offers at least one ray of
hope to those who complain that, do
what they will, they-cannot escape
having TO pay this dangerous tribute.
The tendency must sooner or later bear
Irult IN a generally recognized code of
courtshiP (whe her written or unwritten
does not much matter). prescribing the
precise number and character OF the
''attenlions"-in their adaptation to
dancing, croquet playing, cracker pull
ling. and other conventional pretexts
Tor nlrtation-which virtually amount
TO an otfer of marriage. This scheme,
We may mention, is not wholly imag-
mary. There is somewhere or other a
stratum OF English society in which
such a code already exists. At least
we have seen a book of etiquette in
which, among similar ordinances, it
was laid down that 10 hand anything
say flower or 4 muffin-to lady with
the left hand was equivalent TO q pro-
Posal. The general Introduction of a
system of this kind, although it might
shorten the lives OF timid or fOrgeIful
men, would obviously confer an un-
speakable boon upon the majority OF
the match-makeT's present Victims
1heT would not only know exactly
now lar to go with safety, but also how
al once TO recede. To offer, for instance,
TWO pieces of muffin firmly and deci-
dedly with the right hand would prob
ably make up for Offering one flower
with the left, at least II there were no
guardian or chaperOn on the spot to
take advantage of the first overture.
But II would now perhaps be prema-
ture to enter into the details of
system which 1t may take a genera
ton or so more of matchmaking 10 in
troduce.