The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1867-06-28
A Few words About Humor--The
Genuine and the spurious Article


Humor will ofIen dispose best of en-
thusiastic or frantic fancies. In Dean
Switt's time, a tailor near him took 1t
into his head that he was diviuely called
TO interpret the prophecies, especially
revelation. One night he received the
commission to declare the word OF the
Lord to the Dean, and bright and early
the next morning he was on his way to
do II. Through his glass door the Dean
saw him coming, and surmfsed his
errand. Putting on a grave, studious
air, and opening his Bible to Rev. X,
with fixed attention, he awaited the
prophets approach. The door opened,
nounced-"Dean Swift, I am sent by
the Almighty to-" "Come in, come
In, my friend, :" said the Dean; 81 am
in great trouble, and no doubt the Lord
has sent YOU to help me out of my DIFF
feulties.h The prophet Was cheered
by the welcome. he was al ears IN
more sense than one. my friend,
said the Dean, ''I have just been
reading Rev. ", aud am greatly
distressed with a difficulty, and You
are the very man to help me out. Here
Is an account OF an angel that came
down from heaven, and was so large
that he placed one foot on the land and
the other upon the seq. and lined up
his hands to heaven. Now my knowl-
edge OF mathematics has enabled me to
calculate exactly the form and size OF
this angel; but i am in great difficulty,
for wish to ascertain how much cloth
It will take to make him Il pair Of
breeches; and as that Is In your line OF
business, / have no doubt the Lord has
sent You to show me-" The poor tailor
was confounded. He felt as If struck
by an electric shock. He rushed back
to his shop; a reVulsion of feeling came
over him, and he was fully satisfied
that his calling did not lie in the line of
prophetic interpretation.
John BunyHn wns not without an
element ofhumor If one is to believe the
story of the Quaker who found him in
Bedford Jail, and told him that the Lord
had message for him, which he was
commissioned to deliver, and on aC-
count of which he had sought him out
in all the jails of the kingdom. ''If the
Lord had given you message for me,
said Buuyan, "He would have known
where to send you, for he knows that
have been lying these twelve years In
Bedford jail"
But humor is an edged tool that must
be played with carefully. 1t may cut
the fingers that are needless in handling
1t. Rev. AZel Roe was taken prisoner
by the British in the Revolutionary
war, and was conducted to New York.
They treated him with much respect,
and as they were crossing an unbridg-
ed stream, the British officer offered 10
carry him over on his back. He did soi
but midway in the stream, the clergy
man, amused at the plight in which
they both were, Inadvertently let his
huinor out. 'twell," said he, sit must
be confessed that IL you were never
priest-ridden before, you are now"
The officer was so convulsed with
laughter that he nearly performed the
office of a Baptist preacher for his
PRESBYTERIAN brother.
The joke does not always end as
harmlessly as in the case of Nathaniel
Appleton, who found, on riding up TO
the house OF his beloved, that his rivals
horse was hitched at the gate. Unhitch-
ing him, aud giving him smart stroke
with his raW-hide, he walked in aud in
quired whose horse that could be can
tering down the street. It need not be
said that he found the coast clear at
once, and took good pains to keep 1t so.
But when humor gels thus beyond
words into actual deeds and tricks of
mischief, il grows wanton and needs a
check. And that check 1t Is sure to
find at last. The humor Is cancelled or
neutralized by the mischief. The bee
stings MS well as sings, and bee-music
must be the best kind of soprano to
keep one unconscious of venom rank
ling in the blood. Happily humor is
not commonly given in excess. Like
oil for putty, ft is usually just enough,
IL rightly used, 10 sOften the nntnre,
and make Il pliable. Where Il abouDds,
It needs to be kept In careful limits.
Otherwise the fire that warns Will
burn, and be constantly kindling con-
dagrations. One gifted in the line of
wit or humor must be careful or Jhese
will absorb everything else. Intellect
affection, and conscience, Will all be
dissolved in it, only to form worthless
amalgam.