Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1867-04-12
wit and HumOr.

What is the gentlest kind of spur
A whisper
Without the deer ladies we should
be bat a stao-nation.
= What kind of paper resembles
sneeze? Tissue paper.
A colporteur says he could always
fnd sinners because he tract 'em.
when does woman's tongue go
quickests When tits on a railroad.
What two letters would destroy all
the others, If allowed to dc soi DIX.
Why is the freight of ship like
locomotivef Because 1t makes the cargo.
- Why is the letter 8 like thunder I?
Because il makes our cream sour cream
When is Echo like visiting ac-
quaintance? When she returns your call.
"A woman begins to have great an
tipathy to dates when she finds herself out of date
Little girls believe in the man in the
moon-big girls believe In a man in the honey
moon.
-" What did you give for that horse,
neighbour" My note" well, that was
cheap"
The great secret of success in bust
ness, is to get the ring of the true metal-Prin-
ter's Zinc"
why is an offering like a matrimo-
NAL engagement Because II begins with an offer
and ends with "a ring.
1t IS surely time that the idea of
Bacon having written shakspeare's works was
played out. Ii is all CANNON.
Excited Frenchman at Niagara Falls
All dis Is de grand spectakell Supaarb! Mag
nefque By gar he is come down first ratei !"
The man who has got into the
habit Of bowling to nearly everybody he
meets may DO pretty safely set down as a nod fel-
iow.
- Ladies are like watches - pretty
- 1o1r- Tan< ,v,l la1i <ah
but somewh hat difficult to regulate" when once set
"agoing"
~ Ny opinion is" said philosophi-
cal old lady of much experience and observation,
" that any man as dies upon washing day does 1t
ont Of pnre spite"
ushered into the drawing Mr.. Foot aud his two
daughters. with this introduction, Mr.. Foot and
the two Misses Feet"
When Hamlet spoke of making his
quietus with bare bodkin, 1t 10 evident he meant
to try the dpl-opdtlic mode of getting rid of the
many ills his flesh was heir to.
"A lady who is opposed to having
whist played In her house recently sent out invita-
lions for social party, and, leet there should be
some mistake, she added, mo cards"
think (said IsabeD the fearful sky
Is weeping sadly, only hear 1t sigh
Do not (safd Quilp) commiserate its woes;
1t does not weep 1t only blows it's SHOWS.
There IS a boy down last, VINO is
accustomed 20 go out on a railroad track and imi
tate the steam whistle perfectly as to deceive the
officer at the station His last attempt proved en-
inently successful: the depot master came out and
switched him off,
"A good story is told of French
man. who went into lawyers office one day and
tolfa clerk that he wanted to look at shall. y
"A shall" said the astoniehed auditor; a shall,
oh. a WILL you mean" "Eh, bien-it Is all the
same, will or a shall"
-" when are you going TO commence
the pork businessf" asked one person of another
who had sty on his eye. Explain yourself sir '
said the afflicted gentleman. why, see thai
you have your sly quite ready" True" was the
reply, " and I've one hog in my eye now"
POOR ECONOMY.
Many man, for love OF SELL
To stuff his Golfers, starves himeef;
Labors, accumulates and spares,
To lay up ruin for his heirs;
Grudges the poor their scanty dole;
Saves everything-except his soul'
THE DOCTOR.
| A doctor wellskilled In the medical art,
| 'Mongst, others, for Europe resolved to depart.
| And leave his domestic concerns.
But what viii become Of the patients, the whiler
"oh, fear not" neigh6or replied, with smile
Sure" SAID Patrick, rubbing his
head with delight at the prospect of apresent from
| his employer, :" always name to do my duty. 81
believe you," replied his employer, land there
fore shall make you present Of all you have sto
| len from me during the yea" II thank you
honor" replied Pat: and may an your frie adj
and acquafntances trate you ~ literally"