Delaware State journal and statesman. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1855-1870, 1867-04-05

ELIZABETH HARD TO PLRAsk'

ELIZABETH HARD TO PLEASE.
do not like man that's tall;
man that's little 10 worse than oil.
much abhor man that's fat
man that's lean is worse than that.
young man is a constant pest
Az old ono would my rooms infesi.
! DO not like a mau that's fairi
A mnu that's black eapuot bear.
A mau Of seuse could not rule
And from my heart hate fool
sober man will not take
A drunken man my heart would break
an these do sincerely hate,
And yet love the married state.
Josh Billings says there is 'oue cold, blue,
leOu kisp, that always makes him shiver 10 sec.
Two per ons, (ov lbe femail pcrsuasi'nl who heV
witnessed CRATE menuy more younger and more
pulp5 dage, meat ia sum public place, aud not
having saw each other for twenty four hours,
TIA kiss immegiatsly-the thu tOrk about the
weather and the young man who preached yes
terday, aud then tina kiss immeSiatsy aud then
tha blush aud larf At whnt they cay to each
other aud kiss sgsln mmOgiately. This kind
OF kissing always puts me in mind Ov tew old
nIuts irieing to strike fire.
How came such greasy mess 10 the oven z
asked fdgety old spuster Of her maid Of al
work, Why replied the girl, the cnudlsS fell
iuto The water aud ! put them in the oven e
dTy.'
young man recently wrote to his sweetheart
saying, There IS not glohule Of blood 10 m.
heart which does not besr your photograph.
He had it very bad, hadn't be
40 elderly lady, who was haudling pair
artificial plates in dental office, aud admiriu
the hueucy wish which tho dentist describe
them, asked him, Can body cat with tbes
tllngs1 My dear madam, mastcaton eau b
performed with facility scarcely equalied b
Nature herself, responded the dentist. Yes,
know; but can body eat with them 7
The last case Of jealousy is that of lady VII
discarded her Lover, sea captain, because
Rugged tho shore
A Russian mlser lie noticed TO have learned
bark, in order to save the expense Of keeping
WAtch dog
Smith asked Jones what tho high price
butter was owing to. "A considerable part OF
ls owing to my grocer, said Jopes, for Il 10 y
months snce have paid him
lady leaving home was thus addressed
her little boy. Mamma will you remember a
buy me penny whistle, and let 1t be reIigic
QUE so that eau use 1t on Sunday.
My dear, said husband aiiectlOnately to
bslerhalf after q sfuabble, youl certain
never be permitted to 60 to Heaven w
uq,Y 'Ricsuse youll he wanted as tOrmen
below
Sir. Ia have you 10 know that keep on'
the best tables in the city, said 40 indigp
laadlaIy to boarder who had heen fading Il
with ha fare That may be true, ma'O
quietly retorted the boarler. bat you put '
htlc upon IT,.
stray eantrabgnd from down South
let'y inspecting horse power iu Operat
Shen be broke out thus; "Alisier, ! have
bear" Of thinas 10 my life, hut never saw
thing whar horse could do his own work
F'ie blmself, too"
en'tlVatOr was espied by a party Of N
vile negroes, when one said "a man can
s'I Gu dat ting an ride while he's plowi
''Golly," said another, ''de rsscals Was too 8
n think o dat' fore the niggor was sot free.
MIR. Jones met Mr. Smith, as he was gou
board steamer on the Mississippi, and Al
Which way, Smith, up or DOWN." "Tbat
ponds upon circumstances remarked the la
I'll get berth over the boiler, shall p
bly, 20 up--if in the cabin, d,wn." We
not heard from him since.
great Methodist orator in Dublin one
tempted to praoh from the text, creme
lots Wife" aud made failure. AflerN
temarklng to pr. bond that he did not knO
reason of his failure, the venerable dectC
Piled that she had better hereafter let
peoples wives Alone
Little girls believe 10 a man 10 the NJ
young ladies believe in man in the
m9'1