The Weekly Perrysburg journal. [volume] (Perrysburg, O. [Ohio]) 1861-1???, 1867-03-15
From the Toledo Blade.l
NASBY.
Mr.. NeSby is Dispatched by the President
and Secretary Seward upon nm lmpor-
tnnt Mission, similar in its Nntur@ to
that of MIR, McCrncken-Jlis Report.
Posr 0FFIs, CoNFKDRT X RoADs,
(wich is in the Stait Of Kcntucky,(

| thN VI W.T. MCNrucken-ttlS hepOrts
Posr oFFIs, CoNFEpRT X RoADs,
(Which is in the Stait Of Kcntucky,l
Febrooary II, 1897.
II WIZ orooel necessity, after all, wch
druv me into the servis nv His Eggslency
a. Johnson. Crooel, | say, for whenever
| he ho2 q pNrtkerly mean piece NV work 10
perform, sutlin SO inexpressibly sneakin
that Seward nor Randall won't undertake
it., they alluz send for me. Welles is aluz
wilhn, but while he hez the disposition to
do anythin in the line, he lacks the ability.
Tho others however, hev the ability to do
0nythn and tho disposition TO do most
things, and therefore hev bin employed in
extreme cases.
The success wich attended McCrackou's
mission, endin cz it did in the resinin NV
Motley, stimulated Seward to prosecute
similar researches into tho actual opLions
nv tho homo crop NV ofisers regardin him
aud his, and my sooporior, A. Johnson.
Randall wuz applied to tn take tour among
! Postmostcrs and sch, He declined the
mission Indignantly, with the remark, "Is
thy servant dog or the son NV dog, that
| he shood do this thing ?" And ez Weles
isn't trusted out NV Washinton any moro,
wuz sent for
The bi2nis required nv me wuz statid by
Seward in his yoosual lucid style. It wuz
merely to cirkelate iRcognitO (which is
Latin for sneakiu) among the recently ap.
pinted otiis holders and ascertain their
views upon general politikle topics but
more especially their feeling toward the
President aud Sekretary Nv State. Jest ez
| wuz startin, not at all pleased with the
mission, We!les put in his oar. lie wuz
agoin to give me instruckshuns ez to wat
| tn IL "a al 10
Good abide, and felt it my dooty to withcr
him. Trausfxin the venerable Sekretary
with one of my most piercenist gu2es, | re
marked Sir! in imtashen NV the man
who inflicted yoo upon this country, wich
wuz not the least OF his acts for wich the
country ousses him, purpose relatn
little anecdote. There wuz wunst man
who WIZ inebriatid, aud that lie might
preaent hisself in a state approximating
sobriety to the pardner NV his huzzim, he
wnz essaym to vomit, tryin thus to case his
| stumick Nv the cause Nv the onpeasantnis
| therein, but he coodnt do il. ile heaved
and henved, but ther wuz no result. At
this criticize period another man approached,
who remarked kindly that, ef he desired to
vomit, his best holt wood he to run his
finger down his throat The drunkin in-
di,idooal looked up indignant at this un.
warranted interference with his constoo.
shnel rites.
Blast your eyes, sir" sed he, are you
or me bossin this yer puke?"
This, Sekretary Wellcs, is the anecdo,o.
| rcspeck the posshun 700 hold, and dislike
say anything disagreeable, but, sir, this
is puke, and | propose to boss it myself"
started to wunst. and found things in u
highly mixed condition. The tollowin is
compiled from my reports: In Moo York
the Postmastcrs generally are sound. The
crops were poor last year, and all kinds NV
bisnis is bein dull, the Postmastcrs are
generally anxious to hold on. They are,
therefore outspoken in their support NV
the coz. Them ez WIZ men nv good standin
and rcligiously inclined, before the rupcher
between the President and party which re.
doost him, say but very little in public, and
that little they don't say very long.
They generally cant sec that ther is any
partikecr difference between the Prcsi.
dents plan and the plan nv Congress, and
ther bein so little Congress ought to yield
for the sake NV peace. The Dimocras
holdin sich places are loud enough i'll sup.
port nv the administrator, but good
Heavens the endorsement ny sich men is
too he aVy load for any party to carry.
Now, that think Nv it, hev at last solved
the mystery NV our widespread defeat
last fall. In some Deestricks the Dimocra.
cy found johnson TOO heavy load to carry
aud in the balance the Johnson men found
the Dmocracy too heavy load to carry;
In Ohio, the first place | stupped at wuz
Oberlin, tho place where the nigger college
is located at. | regret to say that the
Postmaster at that pint is rantln Ablish
MIST and in the two hours wuZ theIe
coodent find Conservative Republican
who wood take it. | got one nearly per-
shaded, but jst ez lie WIZ about to co"sent
his vile Tell a wcepin onto his buZZum, aud
with techn pathos wanted to know Of lie
wuz willin. for sich small pay, TO leave
sich tarnsht name to the four children
new born to EN- and the wnn witch wuz
expected? lie repented and refused.
didn't Investigate ez fully ez j might, for
ther amt drop nv likker sold there, and
ez my flask give out, felt that doc consid
Grafton for my health woodent permit my
stay another hour, | recommended the
establishment nv grosery, with bar in
the back room, ez nucleus around wlch
the Dimocrisy kin rally.
The next place | come to | found the
Postmaster a suspishus character-Yegy
suspislius. Whenever he is drunk he
speaks very highly NV tho Secretary NV
State, but when sober he avoids politike
matters. ] sejest raise in the salary NV
the offs, that lie kin afford to keep drunk
all the time.
At the next pint interdoost myself ez
English no6lcman in disguise, studyiE
Amerikin manners and customs, and mem
shund carclessly that he'd been to Wash
inton, and he'd been presented to the Pres
ident and Sekretary NV State, The Post
master wuz vizably affected. CHANGING
iurtively around TO see that no one wuz
lookin, he remarked in low tone: "My
deer sir, don't, beg Nv 700, form yoor idea
NV the public men nv Ameriky from them
specimens. Don't, beg. The i;st, sir is
"A accident-sich q man Good never have
bin made on purpose. The second wnE
suthin, in his earlier years, but now, sir,
now-he's a degraded old man" and he
bursted into tears. "Bein determined to
hold onto his place, he tried at Tust to bring
the President by accident, up to his level
but that bein impossible, he deliberately
let hisself down TO the level nv the Presi.
dent, and the distance, sir, wuz so great,
the Sekretary bein snlhini that the shock.
sir, undoubtedly knockt his intelleek out
nv him, for lie aint displayed any since.
lie LITERALLY fell among thieves. May the
Lord forgive Willyum r. Seward for tbo
shipwreck he ma,ie Nv his rcpGtashen,
for"
At this pint the poor man stopt. l
happehed TO pull ont my honkercher and in
doiu so dropt upon the floor a piece Nv
paper wich lie seed. 1t read
PETROLEUM. v. NAsBr, DR.,
To O. Bascomb