The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1867-02-06
The Opera Hofst.
STERLING, ILL.,. Jan. %, 1867.

Edttors o. the Chicago Journal:
DEAR SIR Here's been foul play I
reiterate it, sir, there's been the worst kind
OF foul play in the drawing of the Opera
House. I'm man, sir, accustomed to put
up with all things as they are, as my wife
and all our neighbors know; but this
thing rifles me up like a nud-puddle with
a cow in it in fly time. Didn't consult
three mediums and horse doctor before
bought that ticket? and didn't they all tell
me there couldn't be nothing more certain
than my.prospects Where am l now, f.
nancially? Where's the greenback to
come from to pay the man that lent me
the money to buy the ticket to draw the
house that Crosby built? If he had not
loaned me the wherewith, couldn't have
made raise. He was the last man to 90
to. I'D tried all others without raising q
single currency, having realized of most of
them numerously before. All my ready
money was consumed by the mediums and
horse doctor, though the latter was very
low in his charge. Says he, ~ will geef
you my atwice for half a tollar." Says /,
"Its cheap I'll take all you've got"
But what of it? Did l draw the Opera
House? No, sir. Did draw anything
l think did What then have got for
the three dollars that went to the medium,
hs y Sy se Sset toaaast at bas ba ksss aE aa' s
that says Westward Hov' hav'nt 1 al.
ways ho-ed, and mighty hard row at
that? And does the picture fit our only
vacant frame? No, sir, it's too long and
too short. Too long shortways and
too short longways to come anywhere near
fitting. But you ought to heard my wife
when she learned that our ticket didn't
''strike ile." Have you wife? think
I've always known that women have tre-
mendous conversational powers, but now
l know it good deal more so. Did you
buy ticket and draw nothing? Sympa-
thy, sir, sympathy is modifying thing !;
especially when fellow knows just how
to feel for another. When my wife got to
going, she was more anxious to have q
ticket than l, and as soon as the darned
thing come, she set to work and gave
away every rag Of clothes We all had
hers and mine, and all the children's from
Dan to Bersheba, except what we had on
our backs, and them she promised she
gave away the furniture and dishes till we
have to take turns sitting and eating
And then she pitched into me right and
left and told me she might have known l
couldn't have drawn flee, for I'd always
been too confounded lazy to draw natu-
raj breath, saying nothing about drawing
the children around the yard Sundays, or
a pail of water washing-days. But sup
pose you are married, most editors are.
She pitched into me for getting her anx-
ious to buy ticket, when l had known she'd
been church member, and known she
ought to have been an example to me and
the children, instead of buying lottery
tickets, and so on and so on till could not
stand it any longer. So stood up before
her and said: "Wife, where do you get
your precedent for such an idea? Show
me single evangelical body that has not
had lotteries of its own, time and again !;
but especially during low state Of fnan-
ces and didn't l tell you we had better
hold to the few things we had until we
knew just how the thing was coming out :?
and you would not do it? Didn't tell
you l felt little shaky, ever since Our
neighbor's wife's husband told me how
certain his wife was of drawing it. And
would you do it? Not smidgen." just
as was going to walk into her again, she
caved and l caved too. When a woman
gets her back up about 40 feet, on such a
matter, raves and rails and tears like a
regular tornado, can stand her to the last
minute and would not be afraid of row
of them reaching from pole to pole, and
every soul of them armed with q cistern
pole 20 feet long at that. But when wo-
man becomes lambish and tender like, l
wilt like new cabbage plant in July
sun, and can't help it. Weakness is wo-
mans strongest point-not short dresses,
voting, and such like. So I told my wife
we would say nothing more about it, but
let it all 60 where the money had gone,
kissed her, or rather the baby, (which
amounts to the same,) and left the house.
Whose house? Mine? Not much. Did
l not bargain it to one Of them mediums ?
tell you Mr.. Editor, it's your duty. as an
upholder of right and = downholder oi
wrong, to pitch into that Opera concern a.
you would political cuss running on the
other ticket. If you will do this, III take
your paper as long as you III trust me. B
81 fellow citizens that them cussed medi
ums told them the same stuff they told me
and that it's all lie. ! therefore ask ths
Opera Houses pardon, and am very sorry
didn't draw it, on my wife's account.
"Thar was,' says the great Artemus ir
his account of that episode, his wooing-
"thar was affectin' ties that made me han
ker arter Betsy, Her fathers farm iino(