The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1867-03-28

Politics! why, the thing is as danger
Gus to shim as o pet rattlesnake>or {
lhornet-nest Ia chapeaa. ~ N
h A local editor is expected to be every
body's friend. He can't be that and
have any politics. He had as yell try
TO stand in a hollow without having 8
hill on either side Of him. He must at
tend all meetings, political or other
wise, and be immensely enthusiastic on
every occasion. He can't do that when
IL goes against the grain, unless he is
hypocrite. and we scorn the imputstion
that implies the latter. No, sirs he
must chip! hipw with this party, and
"hurrah" with that one. He must ap.
plsud Jones for bullying Smith, and
praise Smith when he knocks the props
from under Jones.
A good local editor, in addition to a
thousand other qualifications, must be
q good diplomatist. He must engineer
his way among all parties and creeds,
but he must keep off party corns. Nc
matter how good a platform may be.
there are corny toes that stand upon it.
He must not step on these or he is gone
up.
We hope the men who 30 universally
put such difficult questions to US will
see the absurdity of the thing, and do sc
no more. We must move around after
items, must attend all gatherings, would
visit the League" meetings if We had
free ticket on the underground rail
road, but we beg and implore the indul
gent, dear, generous, excellent, inquis
tive public to spare US all hard ques
tions, for wo do assure them that poll
tics is as scarce with us as Mr.. Spinner:
autographs, the last of which latter ar
tlcles, in beautiful legibility on our last
fifty cont change bill, squirms in oul
dilapidated booklet book every time We
look in the meal barrel we keep fol
FORMS sake in our pantry.
While We Indignantly eschew poll
tics, we are particularly fond of poll
ticians and political meetings. One o.
the latter il as good as a circns at any
time. We like to hear men speak at
such meetings-praise the American
eagle, which they could hardly distin
guish from o turkey-buzzard-want te
see him perch OH the top of o persim'
mon tree, and dip one wing in the roll
ing Atlantic and the other in the placid
waters of the Pacific, and protect every
man in Office who wants to hold one
We have heard men On such occasions
who could not buy pint of COOLERS on
credit laud the great Magma Charter
which gives protection to property
Then we always feel as if we ought to
be q politician, and talk too. But we
are not one. No, sirs! ..
We don't want any office. We see no
use in any Office except ticket offices,
postoffices and printing offices. Sher'
IFS and bailiff's offices ought to be de-
clared perfectly vacant. They are con-
tinually annoyiaa honest men with a
tax execution OF something of the kind.
Vide Hubbard. Nothing personal. Even
the office of policeman is annoying to
honest men who happen to take an hon
est glass too much, though it is paid for
honestly. No, we don't want to go into
any office-not even station house OF
calaboose. :.
We think we have defined our posi-
ton. We certainly can't be mistaken
after this explanation, and we hope our
good friends will not try US on our cate
chism any more. We know who made
Moses, but we don't know who made
the Missouri compromise; 80 we have
no politics. Not any, thank you! .-