Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1867-03-12
@roptCopntp YeraIo
Mr.. Nasty is Dispatched by the Presi-
dent and Secretary Seward upon an
Important ldi2sion, Similar ii its Ma
ture to th-t OF K. McCracken. His
ReNnrf
Po3r OFYs, CoSpxoRIT X Ro4Ds, !
(Which IL IN the Stait vi kehtuckyJ !
Feb H. 1851

~PS-Sf
P09r OTNs, CoNrEoRIT Ro4Ds
(Which IL in the Staff vi heHtucky1 !
Feb. Il, 1871.
1t wuz crooel necessity, after all.
witch druv me into the servie nv His
Egg slency A. johnson. Crooel say,
fer whe never he h6z q partik clerIy
mean piece Nv work to perform
suthin so iGexpressibly sncakin that
Seward nor Randall won't under
Jake it, they slluz send for me-
Welles is alluz willn, but while he
he4 tie disposition TO anythin in the
line, he lacks the ability. The Others,
however hev the ability to do any
thin and the disposition to do most
things, and therefore | hey bin EN-
ployed in only extreme cases.
The success wich attended Nc
Crackers mission endin ez it did in
the resinin w Motley, stimulated
Seward prosecute similar researches
into the actooal opinions nv the
bone crop w otfi.ors rceardin him
and his aud my sooperior, a. Johnson.
Randall wuz applied to take tour
among Bost Masters and SIGH He
declined the mission Indignantly
with the remark, is thy servant IL
dog or the son Nv dog, that be shood
do this thing?' And ez Welles isn't
trusted out NV Wsshinton any more,
/ wuz sent for.
The biznis required wuz statid By
Seward in his yoosual lucid style.
1t wuz merely to cirkelate tncognito
(Which is Latin for sneakin) among
the recently appinted offs holders
and ascertain ther views upon gener,
al politikle topics, but more especially
ther feelins toward the President and
Secretary nv Stait Jest ez | wuz
startin, not at all pleased with the
mission, Welles put in his oar. He
wuz agoin to give me instrucshens ez
to wat | wuz to 90. Wellcs is q In,
natic | never Good abide, and | felt
it my dooty to withor him. Trans
fxin the venerable Secretary with
one nv my piercenist gazes, remark
ed: "Sir in imitashen NV the man
who inflicted 700 upon this country,
witch WIZ not the least nv his acts
for wich the country cusses him, |
propose relatin little anecdote.
Their WIZ wunst man who wuz in.
ebriatid, and that be might present
hisselfin state approximating sobri
ETY. TO the parduer nv his buzzunl. he
WIZ essayin to vomit, tryin, thus to
ease his stumick ny the cause nv the
onpleasantnis therein, but he coodcnt
do it. He heaved and hcaved, but
ther WIZ no result. At this criltikle
period another man approached, who
remarked kindly that, eff he desired
TO vomit, his best holt wood be to
run his finger down his throat. Tho
drunk individooal looked up indig-
nant at this unwarranted interference
with his constooshnel rights "Blast
yoor eyes, sir" sed he, "are 700 or
me bozzin this yer puke?"
"This, Secretary Wellee, is the
anecdote. l resTeck the posishun
700 hold, aud dislike sayin anythin
disagreeable, but, sir. this is a puke,
and lperpose to boss it myself
! startid to wunst, and found
things in highly mixed condition
The tollowin is compiled from my
reports In Moo York the Postmas-
tiers generally are sound. The crops
were por last year, and all kinds Nv
biznis bein dull, the Postmastors are
generally anxious to hold on. They
are, therefore, outspoken in their
support NV the coz. Them cz wnz
men ny good standin and reiigiously
inclined before the rupcher between
the President and tho party wich re-
doost him, say but very little in pub
lie, and that little thoy doa't say very
long. They generally can't see that
Their is any partikelcr difference be
tween the Presidents plan and the
plan NV Congress, and Their bein go
little, Congress ought 10 yield for the
sake nv peace The Dimocrats hold
IN sich places, are loud enough in
support NY the Administration. but
good heaven the endorsement nv
SIGH men is too heavy load for any
party to carry. Now that | think
nv it, hev at last solved the mys-
terry ny our wide spread defeat last
fall. In some Deestricks the Dino
cracy found Johnson too heavy a
load to carry, and in tho balance the
Johnson men found the democracy
TOO heavy a load tocarry.
in Ohio, the FIRST plac, | stopped
at wuZ 0bcrIin, the place where lhe
niger college IS located at. regret
10 say that he Postmaster at that
pint is Il rantin ah!ishnist and in the
TWO hours | wuz there, coodent find
a Conservative Republican who
wood take H. I got one nearly put
surded, but iist ~ he wuz about to
consent, his wife tell Il wcepin onto
his buzzum, aad with t,.chin patbos
wantid te know Ii he wuz willin, for
sich small pay, to leave sich tarn-
isht namo 70 The four children now
born to en- and the wun w;ch wuz
expectid lie rypent;4 and refused
Ididn'tinvestigate ezfully ez might,
for Their Amt drop nv likker sold
there, ard cz my flask civ ont, felt
that doc consiicrashen for my health
woodent permit my stayin another
hour. / recommend the abolition ny
the offs, or the establishment nv a
grosery, with a BARN the Darkroom,
ez q nucleus around wich the Dino