davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1867-12-21
Old T. pitaphs.

Here lies, cnt down lik, anrips down,
The wife Of Deacon Amos Shu.e;
She died OF drinking too much coffee,
Amy Dominy eighteen forty.
Hero 10 one on grave in Msssscha.
se.ts:
What | sp, at that had what I kept
tha: | lost What gave, that have.
On Owen Moore:
Owen Moore has gone away,
Owing more than he could pay,
!" Rs~sy charchyard
Here lies the body Of Thomas Smith,
And what 10 somawhas rsrsish,
he was born, bred aud hanged in this
parish.
In the same churchyard
Here lies the vile OF Roger Martin,
She was a good wife, that's ssrtin,
The manner Of her deth was thus,
She was druv over BY buss.
Another:
For broad wheel wagon wen. ever
ny head.
There is something quaint and touching
in this epitapb Of Grimaldi, ths distinguish /.
ed clown:
Here am,
One of the best Of this trief kind wos
proposed by Gelald 10 Charles King, the
Shaksperian critic:
Here lies ia earth an honest fellow,
Who died by fat aud lived by tallow.
On An ae,Onaut
Shall rise sgain.
Hste is enc on the gravestone Of . de
ceased ci. zen Of Texas.
He remained u the last . decided friend
and supporter OF Democratic principles and
measures. Blessed are the dead that die u
the Lord.
Au ~. inscription on = churchyard reads
thus:
To the monory Of Susan Mum.
Silence 10 wisdom.
A Barre tom bstone has this inscription,
In memory Of Mrs. Cia Barnett, consort
Of Noah Ripley, Esq by whom she had 8
sons and IL daughters, II Of whom lived to
have families. Aer descendants at the time
Of her death were 81 grand children and LOG
great grand children. She died June II,
1926, aged 81. MANY daughters have done
vir.uously, bu. thou hast excel. ID"
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1867-12-21

ash authority sayss'as it il tho proper
thing 'or gentlrman on marry,agA widow,
before the expiration Of her mourning, TO
Q>ea weeds fos bic lsmen.sl predecessor.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1867-12-21
For Sale Cheap.

0EvDR IL 10 A00N Lots, -fourths
- of mtle lfom the citr stntta. Firstrats bottom
laad. Enssirs sooa u ~ xA1d o0es ~
o0vl9u I. DAVIS
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1867-12-21
Notice Of D1sh hsl2 n tke, n.

EOtlCe 81 13isAOlaltlOaa.
THE co-partnership heretotore kpewn and doins
business ander tle firm name vi Appleton " est
oott IL dssOl ved mi consent Mr. Appleton vii
settle all accounts Of the late Arm.
-" ~# A. X. APPLETON.
GEO T. WESTCOTT.
Sioux City, Iowa, May LIT, 1867.
The undersigned viii continue ths business for thu
purpose Of @sH i
Z Clostsag ost tos> atsck On Hand.
Which win be SOLD At REDUCED PRICES Those de-
siroas Of buying 49,
Ory 0osds, Daets enA ahsss, Croekery y
eAA 0las1.SG ara, Nostens, etc.,
ean do by calling and selecting anything In my line
nr O. .. Wright aa&fFaa1 Apylsten, sei-snen.
mayN e 4. h. APPLETo0.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-05-29

MARX TWAIN on Observation-Disclosures
varies according to ones surroundings, in
the mining camps of California, when a
friend tenders you "smile," or invites
you to take ''blister" called q
drink-it is etiquette to say, Here's hop
ing your dirt'll pan out gay" In Washoo,
when you are requested to "put in blast"
or invited to take your "regular poison"
etiquette admonishes you to touch glasses,
and say. "IIere's hoping you'll strike it
rich i'll the lower level" And in Honolu-
lu, when your friend. the whaler, asks you
to take ''fd'' with him, it is simple eti.
quette to say, 'Here's eighteen hundred
barrels, old salt" But ''lrink hearty is
universal. That is the orthodox reply the
world over.
In San Francisco, sometimes, if you of.
fend a man, he proposes to take his coat
off, and inquiries, "Are you on it?" If you
are, you can take your coat off, too. In
Virginia City, in former times, the insult.
cd party, if he were true man, would lay
his hand gently on his six-shooter and say,
"Are you hooled?'' But in Honolulu, if
Smith offends Jones, Jones asks with
rising inf1exion on the last word, which is
excessively aggravating,) "How much do
you weigh ?' "Sixteen hundred and forty
pound you ?'' 1.-TWO ton to dot-at
quarter past eleven this forenoon-peel
yourself; you're my blubber ~
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-05-29

FrenrrNo rHr DxvrL.--The Chinese have
an annual "time' of fighting the devil, 90
cupying about week Of night and day.
As specimen of how they do 1t, we
quote the Sacramento Unions account OF
a day and nights performance by the
Chinese residents in that city:
At midnight on Monday night new
feature in the programme was introduced,
in the form of an out door illumination.
The moon was assisted in the work OF
lighting up the street by an immense mum.
ber of joss sticks lighted and placed in
two lines along the street, from Front to
Seventh. The most of these sticks had
been dipped in wax, and formed species
of wax candle, which answered well the
purpose of illumination. These sticks
were stuck into the ground or placed along
the railroad track. While these lights
were burning, three or four high priests
preceded by two or three musicians,
marched with solemn step up and down
the street, chanting mysterious words in
their native tongue and waving flag to
aid in driving away the spirit of the evil
one. Yesterday afternoon the priests en-
barked in boats upon the slough, where
some two hours were spent in burning in
conse, beating gongs incantations, etc.
Last evening the usual programme was
followed at headquarters. At two o'clock
in the morning the grand finale took place,
and consisted in burning the two or three
gigantic men of tinsel and tissue paper
who have figured so conspicuously in the
ceremonies OF the week.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-05-29

The BAD MILL.-A minister had a mil
Ter in his parish who was very proud of
his mill. 1t was very busy mill, grin.
ding and whirring the whole seven days of
the week. One day, the minister took his
sack Of wheat to get it ground to fine -four.
"A very fine mill this" said the minis.
ter; "the best built ever saw" a@'
The miller often heard that said, and
thought it was no more than just.
"But," continued the minister, 'it has
one bad defect" 7HE
IA defect What, sir 2" asked the
miller, with great deal Of surprise in his
tone.
IA very serious Defect
"What can it be?' asked the miller.
"A defect which will be likely to dam
age the mill" continued the minister, land
some day ruin the owner"
"Can't you tell quick p cried the impa-
tient miller.
ut grinds on the SaJah day!" said the
minister.
The miller did not expect that, or the
solemn and faithful talk which followed;
but it went straight to his conscience;
wrought by the Holy Spirit saving work
there: and after awhile, to the great Joy of
the neighborhood, the defect was remedied,
and the Sabbath-breaking mill never put
another grist in its hopper on the Lords
day.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-05-29

CoPYRIcHr.-Iti is not every day nor in
every District Court, that new book ia
copyrighted. Such an event occurred
yesterday in this District of the United
States Court the title to the book being
as follows:
"Elements Of Euclid: BY Robert Simp-
son, NJ. D. Improved by John II Metcalf,
as follows: The Propositions cf the So.
ond Book, minus four, are demonstrated
by single line j; five new propositions are
added, which are also demonstrated by q
single line every Proposition is expressed
numerically, thus showing the utility of
the Second Book to Arithametic.
To improve upon Euclid is rather dar-
ing undertaking. and the brief leisure we
have had for examination does not enable
US to determine whether Mr.. Metcalf has
really done as he claims, or not. We can
at least see that many of his methods are
ingenious and striking, and, we should
judge, original. Can it be that, amid all
the ''lo hcre"-ing and so there" ing Of
the present day, greater than Euclid is
among us?
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-05-29

THAT CELEBRArIoN.-Our Scandinavian
population had grand celebration on
Friday last, May 18th. On May 18th,
1914, Norway was released from the yoke
Of oppression imposed upon that people
by the Danes.
The celebration on Friday was q grand
affair and reminded us of our old 4th Of
July celebrations. r. II. X. Norah Lodge,
Of Decorah, were out in full and beautiful
regalia; they marched through the princi-
pal streets with martial music, and the
cannon doomed forth in thunder tones. A
large number of people assembled in the
grove, near Mr.. Peterson $ residence, three
miles out, and speeches were made by
Messrs. X. E. Bergh, B. o. Daily, Jno.
Steen and o. II. Lucken.
After the speaking was gone through
with an excellent dinner was served up in
the grove, and oil enjoyed themselves
hugely.
The most perfect order was maintained
throughout the day, and our Norwegian
citizens done honor to their country and
ours by showing such devotion and love
for their country, its flag, and freedom
1Pinneshiek Register.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-05-29
WHOLE No. 554.
The Mote and the Beam.
A telegram from Springfield, Massachu'
sets, contains the following:

The Mote and the Beam.
A telegram from Springfield, Massachu.
sets, contains the following:
."An indignation meeting is called by
prominent citizens for tomorrow night, ia
determine what action the people will take
to correct the unmcrciful cruelty, wanton
barbarity and other heinous crimes in the
public schools"
This is highly interesting information to
come from the very centre Of godly Puri-
tanism in New England.
There is but one way to treat this mat
ter. 1t is to erect Massachusetts, into a
military district; declare martial law; and
proceed to reorganize the state, allowing
only negroes to vote. This is being done
in the south upon the strength of some ru-
mored outrages committed upon anony-
nous freedmen by nameless rebels at un-
certain places, ''one day last week." If
the south should be put under military
rule because some unknown rebels were
reported to have committed outrages upon
some suppositious freedmen, why should
not the same retribution occur in Massa-
chusetts, where the victims are white, and
the outrages well authenticated
1t is generally certain that people who
have great sympathy for remote objects Of
suffering have none whatever for those at
home. Providence gives man about so
much philanthropy; and if he employs it
on the Timbuctoos he will have none for
his next door neighbor.
This explains why Massachusetts, which
weeps incessanty over the wrongs of the
distant African, furnishes, in its own
schools and families, more cases of down.
right brutality and tyranny than any other
state in the union. For every scar plan
ted on the back Of the slave by the "oli-
garchy' of the southern states, there are
two scars upon the backs Of white child
ern planted by the philathropists of Massa-
chusetts. 1t was New Ems gland Puritan
whose case few days since horrified the
entire country by the revolving details Of
the starvation, lashing, scalding and free
zing of an innocent and helpless little, girl
the daughter of one of the brutes who
were principals in the tragedy. 1t was a
New England Puritan who, few weeks
ago, whipped his little son to death to
make him say his prayers. 1t was New
England preacher, legislature and repre-
sentative. man who, last week. was detected
in series of revolving and nameless
crimes in connection with the Children of
his own congregation. 1t is New England
teachers who apply the strap to grown-up
young lady pupils it is the action of
New Eng'add instructors which has pro-
voked an indignation meeting in one of the
principal cities of Massachusetts,, in which
it is proposed to take action ''su ppress the
unmerciful cruelty, wanton barbarity and
other heinous crimes in the public
schools"
The Puritan, in his anxiety to get the
mote from the eye of the STAKEHOLDER,
does not discover the beam-the scantling
the stick Of timber-in his own eye.-CM-
cago Times.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-05-29
Wisconsin Editors.

The Eleventh Annual Session Of the
Wisconsin Editors and Publishers Asso-
citation will convene at the Court House
Hall, Sparta, Wis, on Tuesday June 18th,
1867, at 9 o'clock A.. NJ. Business pro-
ceedings will occupy the day. In the
evening at 1880, the Convention and citi.
zens will meet in the Hall, when the fol.
lowing proceedings will be in order:
Welcoming address by one Of the edi-
tors of Sparta. Response by an officer Of
the Association.
Annual Address by General David At
wood of the State Journal. Subject
Newspapers in the United States-their
influence and the responsibility of their
conductors as teachers of the public"
Annual Poem by Mr.. H. r. Hayden, Of
Milwaukee.
Reading of Obituary Notices of the de-
ceased members of the Association.
The arrangements at Sparta will be
managed by Corresponding Secretary w.
II. Farnham, and the editorial corps Of the
place.
On Wednesday morning, 10Th June, the
Convention will leave Sparta for an ex-
cursion, via Lacrosse, Winona, and Roch-
ester, to Minneapolis and St. Paul, arriv-
ing at the latter place on the afternoon OF
Thursday, Goth. for social reunion with
the Minnesota Editorial Association, and
returning on Friday night per N. w. Union
Packet down Mississippi River, in time to
connect with the train going East on Sat
urday evening, 22d, from Lacrosse. A
punctual and full attendance is desired at
Sparta, in order that business and pleas.
ure may be so combined that the Eleventh
Anniversary of the Wisconsin Editors and
Publishers Association may be one OF
substantial benefit and unalloyed pleasure
to all concerned. The proffered liberality
Of the Northwestern Union Packet Co.,
the Milwaukee 4 St. Paul Railway Co.,
the Milwaukee & Prairie du Chen Rail
way Co., the Chicago & Northwestern R'y
Co., tho Winona 4 st. Peter X. r. Co.,
and the MINES ota Central II. r. Co., will
enable the Wis. Editorial Association to
supply all who are entitled to share in
their courtesies, with passes-if not other
wise provided-for the excursion.
CHARLES SEYMOUR, Pres,
Lacrosse.
WV. II. FARNHAx, Sparta, s..,
JAMES Ross, Madison, 0ec Vs.
Lacrosse, Wis.,, May II, 1867.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-05-29

There is one thing which the Preachers
Of Prohibition never will be able to pro-
hibit, and one truth, which they never can
afford to deny. A large portion of our
soil is by its nature peculiarly adapted to
grape-culture, and some parts of our coun-
try are in this regard equal if not superior
to any winegrowing country on the Globe.
With the energy and perseverance for
which the American people is known to
the rest of the world-this splendid oppor-
tunity to increase the commonwealth, and
to cultivate the beneficial and noble gift of
nature has been taken advantage of, by
all who had a chance to do so. There is
hardly any State, where you cannot in the
fall see the splendid fruit on many of the
farms, and the Farmers greatest care and
activity is devoted to his favorite amongst
the fruit-bearing plants-the vine.
From all parts Of the country we hear
of the Industrious efforts, of the general
sympathy which this branch of agriculture
enjoys, and whatever Of experience may
be wanted still, and however true it may
be, that we have much to learn yet, the
great aim will surely he reached.
A fine specimen Of the noble efforts to
execute speedily the development of Wine
culture is given in the proposition, made
by Longworth, the entsrpri.ing American
wine merchants of Cincinnati, who offer
the following premiums to all growers Of
the vine and manufacturers of native wine :
A silver pitcher, two goblets and waiter
value $3.50, lst premium. A silver cup,
value 500, End Premium. A silver cup,
value $50, 3rd Premium. The first to be
given to the best wine grape-open to all
the States. The second the best wine-
grape in Ohio.
The third-to the best table grape, open
to all. IS s@ .
The fruit is to be shown at the Wine
Growers Association Of Ohio, in quantities
Of ten pounds.--Truc Radical.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-05-29
THE IRISH M AN.

| THE FRESHMAN.
Their, was a lady lived in Leith,
| hdy very stylish, man,
| And yet, in spite of all her teeth,
| She fell in love with an Irishman,
| noisy, ugly Irishman.
A wild tremendous Irishman-
tearin, swearin, thumpin', junpin, rantin', roar
| in Iishman.
His face was no ways beautiful,
Fo, with smallpox t was SCARED across:
And the shoulders of the ugly dog
- Were almost double yard across.
o the lump Of an Irishman,
The whiskey devourin' Irishman-
The great he-rogne with his wonderful brogue, the
| fghdn', riotin' 1rishman.
One " his eyes was bottle grecn
And the other eye out my dear;
And he calves of his wickedlooking legs
Were more than two feet about, my dear.
o, the great big Irishman,
The rattlin', battlin' Irishman--
The stampn', rampin, swaggerin', saggerin' leath-
erin swash of an Irishman.
He pok So much of Lundy-foot,
That he used to snort and snufhe-O,
Andin shape and size the fellows neck
Was as bad as the neck of a buffalo.
q, the horrible Irishman,
The thunderin, blunderin' Irishman-
The saslin' dashin', smashn', lashin', ,hrashin',
His name was a terrible name. indeed
Bein' Timothy Thady Mulligan;
And whenever he emptied his tumber of punch,
He'd not rest till he filld it full again,
The boozin', brulsin' Irishman,
The 'toxicated Irishman-
The whskey, frsky, rummy ,sgummy, brandy,
dandy lrishman.
This the lad the lady loved,
Like all the girls of quality;
And he broke the skulls of men of Leith,
just by the way of jolty.
o, the latherin Irishman,
The barbarous, savage Irishman-
The hearts of the maids and the gentemen's heads
bothered I'm sure by this Irshman.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-05-29

WHEN making new strawberry planta-
eighteen inches in the row, and the rows
two to two and half feet apart, and ex-
pect to keep them afterward in hills, as by
SO doing a larger berry and more quantity
is obatined than when grown in matted
beds. Do not wait for the weeds to grow
so large as to smother the strawberry vine
before commencing with the hoe, but re-
member that it is easier and less labor to
hoe over an acre three times when the
weeds are only one inch high, than to hoe
and weed it once after they get to be six
inches, foot or more. .-Horticulturiet.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-05-29
McGREGOR IOWA, WEDNESDAY, MAY 20, 1867.


REUBEN NOBLE,
Attorney at Law, (42l McGREGOR, IOWA
THOMAS uPDEaRAFF,
Attorney at Law, (424) McGREGOR, IOWA
z. ODELL,
Attorney and Counsellor at Law, McaREGoR, IOWA
J. G. fzoxsIE,
Justice fthe Peace. Office with T. Updegran:
A. J. JORDAN,
Attorney at Law, McGregor, Iowa.
r. HUBBARD & CO.,
Jewellers and dealers in Musical Instruments, Main
Street. 494 McGREGOR. IOWA.
O. q. W. Bingham,
Notary Public and General Conveyancer, Monon a.
Clayton County, Iowa. 55sy
NATIONAL HOTEL,
Postvile, Iowa. General Stage Office. c. vanHooser
Proprietor. 500
HAYT & BURDICK,
Dealers in Lumber, Shingles and Lath, Main Street,
McGREGOR IOWA.
DOUGLAS LEFFINawELL,
Attorney at Law McGregor, .owa. Office over Peter.
son Larson's Store 81
o. g. W. Bingham, N. D.,
Physician and Surgeon, Monona, Clayton County,
Iowa. 553y
GEO. b. EDMoNDs,
6dnr Att0rney and Counsellor at Law cerm0nt Fsyete
BASS & ELMENDoRF,
COMMISSION. STORAGE & FORWARDING BUSINESS,
Public Square, McGREGOR IOWA,
p. G. YOUNG,
Attorney at Law and Real Estate Agent,
$50 ELKADER, IOWA.
MAT. McKINNIE,
Wholesale and Retail dealer I'm Stoves and Manufac-
turer Of Tin, Copper and Sheet ronWare Main Street
McGREGOR, IOWA.
McGREGoR BAND.
This Band is prepared to furnish music for celebra
tions tcnics excursions funerals fairs, sorees, &C.
SOL Address Leader McGregor Band"
LOUIS M. ANDRIcK,
Attorney at Law, Reynolds b,ock. Entrance between
l46 and 14s Dearborn Street, also on Madison Street
and Custom House (p.o o. Place, Chicago.
MURRAY HOUSE,
Main Street, McGregor, Iowa. A desirable home for
the travelling public, with good barns and Sheds at.
tached for the safe protection of horses and wagons
AZ N. MURRAY, Proprietor
DAVID NoGaLE,
Attorney and Counsellor at Law. Office in Dousman's
Law Block, Prairie du Chen, Wis. Will attend to the
business OF his profession in the Courts Of Wisconsin
and Iowa. 535
]. McHOSE & CO.,
STORAGE, FORWARDING AND COMMISSION.
Warehouse No. ], on the Levee, McGREGOR.
Cohsignments solicited.
JOS. M'HosE 416 G. .M'aREGoR.
DRS. ANDROS & LEWIS,
Practitioners of Medicine and Surgery. Will attend
to calls in the country at all times. Office l..
Benton, Jr., Co.'S Drug and Grocery Store-entrance
east side. $50
COOK & BRO,
G. W. Cook. MARVIN Cook
Attorneys at Law, Elkader, Clayton Co.. Iowa. will
attend to collections examine titles pay taxes obtain
bounties, pensions, &C. Office opposite mill. $50
McGREGOR FANNING MILL.
DlCKEY WELLIVER,
Manufacturers of the McGregor Fannr Mill and Grain
Separator, West Market Square, corner Main and
Ann Streets, 415y MCGREGOR, IOWA.
b. ii. FRESE. II. D. WELLMAN
MISSISSIPPI HOUSE,
Near Steamboat Landing, McGregor, Iowa. Good
Stabling attached to the premises
52S FRESE 4 WELLMAN, Proprietors.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-05-29

AS Clay and Benton were going homo
late one night from a Presidential party at
the White House, Clay said to Benton,
when they came near an eating house,
"Let's stop in here and see if we can't get
a glass Of ale and pick up the left leg Of q
goose or turkey "And ::pray, sir what
is the difference between the right and the
left leg, SIR" asked Benton, in his usually
pompous style. s'All the difference in tho
world quietly replied Clay, "if it hap
pens to be the only leg lets.'
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-05-29

How Lone SHALL LIvE?-When Henry
Martyr went out as missionary, he Was
tsld he could not live long.
elbow long?" said he to the physician,
s'do you suppose shall livef''
s'Seven years." was the reply.
"Oh, seven years!'' said the angelic
man; "how much good may accomplish
if live seven years.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-05-29

Attorneys at Law, Elkader, Clayton Co., Iowa. will
attend to collections examine titles pay taxes, obtain
bounties, pensions, &c. Office opposite mill $50