The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1867-06-28
NUMBER q.
SPARE LINES.


is on fire, Is il etiquette to blow Il otHf
A census Of the cats Is Icing taken In
New York for u.n'cws ment.
Why Is an offer to ray q debt like a
young girl? Because u IN a tender made.
brigham Young is. indeed, q pillar Of
Salt Lake. His idea Of wife is-i.ots.
What sobriety conceals, drunkenness re.
veals.
Why Is wet weather moro pleasant than
dryf Because Il Is more in door able.
However actve eooses wings may l'c
In life thoy become stationery anerwurd.
When u hen most likely To hatch?
When sho b in earnest lin hss ne.'.)
Why was Jonah stronger than the whale?
Because when the whale got Jonsh down
he couldn't hold him.
Why il . prosy preacher like tho mid,lIa
Of wheel because tho fellows around
him arc tired.
An exchange speaks Ola mad dog ''tIat
bit COW by the tail which died. Hal
for the tail, but what became Of tho COW?
Dependency ID tho over weight that may
mako you kick tho beam and tho bucket
both at once. ...t..-.
The discovery Of what il tr,c, and the
practice Of what il good, arc the two most
important objects Of life. .r.I...
A quarteue Of soldiers who had lost
limbs In battle, recently gave q sercnade,
and sung, " IT'S sweet TO be 70 .nembered."
Prejudices nre like rats, and a mans mind
like trap; they get in easily, and then
perhaps can't get out at all.
Tho tr,ie test Of merit in man 10 to an.
swer the demand that 10 made upon him
in his day and generation.
Why ARC old maids and doubtful propo.
sitions allke7 because lhoy arc neither Of
them parent (apporen') to anybody.
We should be careful to deserve good
reputation. by doing we'll aud when that
care 10 once taken, not to be over anxious
about tho success.
Tn Cork, Ireland, short tinne ago, the
crier Of the Court endeavored TO dispcrse
the crowd by exclniniing, IAN 20 block-
guards that isn't lawyers, lave the Coon."
"Are those calico horses paintsd :" asked
nm inqnisiiive lady at the circus. FAYE"
replied the clown, "thcy arc grained every
night and morning.
What Is tho difference between a town
and its peoplci Il 10 laid out at tho begin
ming Of It's existence, and they at the end Of
theirs. .
A thrifty wife wonders why tho men
can't manage to do something useful.
Might they not as well amuse themselves
In smoking hams Us smoking cigars.
81 can't find brca,l for my family" said
lazy fellow in company. "Nor J. re-
piled an industrious miller, f'm obliged to
work for It,"
A mate on a steamboat Is tho second OH.
cor. tie does not govern the captain,
though the mates Of married men some.
times do.
As avessel Is known by the sound whoth-
er II be cmckcd or not; so men arc proved
by their speeches, whether they be foolish
or wise.
"iiaye you not mistaken the pew, cir ,"
handy said Sunday Chesterfield to
stranger who entered Il. VI beg PARDON"
said tho intruder, rising to 20 o,it, 81 fear
have took II for u Christians"
ITO do justly, Iovo mercy, and walk
humbly before God" arc three things tim,
business looscness, business precedent. and
business excitement cannot set aside.
Sincerity is like travelling in a plain,
beaten road. which commonly brings n
man sooner to his journeys end than Ivy
crooked ways, In which men oftcn LOSE
themselves. .... .... ... ....s
Mental pleasures never clog; unlike
those Of the body, they AFRO increased by
repetition, approved Of by reflection, and
strengthened by enjoyment.
An Oxford saddler sold saddle. but
forgot who was the customer, 80 he told
his clerk to charge Il in all tho bills sent
out. Tie afterwards confessed that thirty
two bud paid him for it iN 70
II you sink shaft down deep into tho
most depraved human being. and take tho
lamp love down there, you will always
find cleaning vein Of pure gold which -
beautiful amid It's dark surroundings
81 am glad this coffee don't owe mo any.
thing" said a book.kceper to his wife.
while ut breakftss. @Why so!' WINS tho
response. "Becausc doesn't believe Il
would ever settle" .....,.
An iruscible old gentleman was iakrn
with sncezing in the cars lately. Alter
sneezing in tho most spasmodic manner
eight times, he arrested the paroxysm for
A moment. and extricating his handker.
chief bo thus addressed his nasal organ, IN.
dignantly saying, 10. 30 on, SO oo-youil
blow your internal brains out presently"
A young gentleman who was At one limo
very much smittcn with pretty little
.F'fichd," aid that in his travels ihruugI,
tho West Indies hs often fsk some very Sc
vcrn shocks from earthquakes, but they
were nota circumstance when compared
with thoss which he experienced from this
little earh.quater
Let our love DO firm, constant, and in
separnbIc; not coming and returning, hko
tho tide, Understanding like nevcrfsilins
river, ever running into tho occan OF di.
vine :exeellcncy; passing on in The chan.
nels orduiy and constant obedience, and
never ccasing to he what il u I'LL i comes
IN he what u desires to he aiIl being .
river till il be turned into sen. and vastnes,
even the immensely Of blessed eternity.
he Just. since equity supports the human
nee. BE good, n bounty attaches every
heart :. be hdulgsnt, since thou hvcst
among beings weak like thyseG We mod.
cot, rs pride huns the sell love of every
human being. Pudon iniurics, rs ven.
sesnce ssesnises haircd. Do go'h 70 hinA
that Injuries thee, that thou mayrsi show