The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1867-01-03
New Years Dny, 1867,

/ Fortunately fell on January LIST. as
usual, and We therefore found il in its
proper place when the day came. We
sat up looking fIr it al night with
festive crowd but couldu't sect. Our BET
I ter scven-cishths cnu,dn't see it clilcT,
! and when we cot lio!nc 1T in the morn
iny, met us with tears in her eyes,
and violent upbraidings. ''llcart!e,S
wretch" she cried, chow could you stay
away from this dear little innocent
(holGiu. mp our ten months old male Off
spring, aud linchinG lin into nphIaid-
ing also), how could yOu stay out ii.
night from ne, boo-ho"-hC", Clears ana
pocket-haudkerchict), boo-hoo-h0o, (hi-
tie innocent joins iu), hoo-ho0fioo." Oh
course we had to explain. We were "nt
AL night. First, We had 20 SO IL the
/ IKE. (sie said size didn't hear the hehN).
and get report Of that. Eleven wo-
men were burned to death. We nsr-
rated the affair minutrly. This quict@d
her down little. Then when we cot
through with the fire we told her We
had to find out all about an old maiden
lady being scared to death hy the boys
tying lire crackers to her eats tail aud
letting il loose into her room. After
that we explained all about runaway
couple going off. She became interested.
We first described the fierce old dad and
the beautiful maiden. Then we touch
ed on the gallant young lover, with his
hair carried Then we described how
she met him in the corner grocery, and
how they planned the elopement. Then
how she tied up her duds i'll Il hurry
and met him, and how they sprang
aboard the Iempfeld cars and Were
whirlcd away rapidly t" Hard Scrabble,
and how they were married, and Were
now happy. BY the time we got through
she asked us several questions, all oi
which we answered satisfactorily: and
all would have been right, If we had
not pretended to look in orr pocket for
: the identical letter o. repentance sent
the young couple to the old man. ~
D we fumbled, ont dropped little note
: AMI before we could say jeff the old lady
$ had it. She opened it, read, and looked
: savagely at us. We trembled slightly.
D We always do under such circumstan-
ces. ayes; ont on business" she said.
"Ycs; this looks like business. Dear
f boy, don't fail to come around to the
b. club room after the copy is in. We
D have arranged to have a grand time,
+ and intend running the machine all
night. Plenty of drinkables. Be sure
, TO GOMEZ. G." What could we say to
J thisi We were stuck. Shall we &C
knowledge the corni Not we. A
thought struck us. The note was not
dated. "Pooh," said we, "that's for to-
night, for New Years" BY this means
} we got ont of the apparent difficulty,
and were allowed TO depart in peace.
The offspring got some soothing syrup,
and also retired in peace. All was
peace from that time forward, even
through breakfast until dinner. Our
dinner was a big thing. 1t took two
days and weeks wages to get it up.
) We had thirteen different kinds of foul
{ from ostrich down to rabbit. We had
seven kinds of meat, eleven of vcgeta-
, bles, cold slaw, corn-cake, mush and
: milk, onions, horSe-radish, sweet pota-
) toes, tripe, sausage, &c, but the fc:s-
ture of our feast WAS our turkey, glazed
t a IN iinancier, lardcd Ia faniandc,
stuffed Ia jardinicre, garnished Ia
Parisienne, braized with aspic jelly,
fixed up Ia Napolitan, with giblct
: sauce, apple sauce, sharp sauce, cram
berry sauce, &c. We knocked the he
tells sky thigh. All onr relations were
there, and had big bnst. We labored
through and came out safely. We
kept settling it down until evening
) with egg nos, until some of the nog got
| into our noggin and we left funny. We
, sat in the doG-way and peacefully coli
templated the urehin's sending mp their
: rockets and firing off their crackers.
r We fired oifour old shot-sna once and
shot Mrs. SHINES eat. New Years
5 passed off iubiiantly hut We are all
, serene now. = a. s - -