The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1867-07-01
The Russian VaPOr Bath-Hark
Twnin's Experience herein.

only got over calamitous cold III
the head yesterday, and to-day felt like
the breaking up of hard winter. L
had the blues, and a ceaseless drumming
and ringing in the ears, and q deaden-
ing oppression on the brain, and a horri-
BILE sense of suffocation. The weather
was cold, and the gases from the villain
Gus coal fire were sitting. Beside all
these lutte Inconvenience, my thoughts
persistently ran on funerals and suicide.
! was in a tit frame of mind for any des-
perate enterprise, and with reckless
ness that even stirred sort Of dull ad.
miratiOn within me, resolved to 60 and
take a bath. In five minutes i was
breasting the frosty wind and ploughing
through the soft new snow, and IN t1f-
teen stumbled upon the place where
they keep the monster they call the
Russian bath. This was rather more
than | bargained for, but | hesitated
only moment and went IN. l went
up stairs in the stylesh building, and
along a carpeted hall, and entered Il
large and sumptuously furnished and
decorated drawing-rOOm, with pictures
hung round the walls, and a general air
of comfort and luxury visible all about
the place that could not be otherwise
than exasperating to man in my frame
of mind. A very polite man entered
nv name in a book, taxed me a dollar
and a quarter, took charge of my watch
and pOrtmOnaie, gave me a ticket, ana
turned me over 10 an attendant, who
conducted me into another part OF the
house and gave me a neat State-TOOm
wherein to undreSS.
When ! came out there, fine healthy
youug descendant of Adam Il think he
was descendant of Adam, because he
hadn't anything on but iig-leaf made
of rag) took ME into large apartment
that was as hot rs sin, and gave me
basin of cold water to wash my face in,
and cup of ice water TO drink, and
then left me. The place had latticed
floor, and a great plunge-bath i'll the
middle of it, and two long rows of high
broad marble henches, running down
the sides-a sort ofstairways that reach
ed half way up to the ceiling. The
room began to fill with steam, and |
began to sweat. oOZsd drops of water
from every pore as large as marbles
of the small kind. ! climbed
up on one bench, and then on the next,
and finally to the tbird-and the higher
| went the hotter it got. The fog grew
thicker and thicker, till the gaslights
were ONLY faint blurs in the mist. |
could not breathe through my nose any
more, because the steam was so thick;
had TO inhale it through my mouth
and if hadn't had a mouth like ships |
hatchway must have suffOcated any
how. | was a little scared, thinking
about steamboat explosions and such |
things. because l was carrying about /
sixty pounds of steam to the square !
inch. aud if ever shut down my thrOt- |
tlevalve for single moment l was
bound To collapse ilue. But 1t was .
comfort TO know that | Lad such head
ON bv this time that if did let go l
wouid be likely to blow the most of that
hath -house over into Jersey somewhere.
At this critical period Adam appear
ed and | was uncommon glad To see
him, Notwithstanding he loomed SO
vaguely through the shroudlng mist
that could not swear that l saw hlm
at all. He put me under cold shower
bath and turned deluge loose on me. |
Rnt il felt good Next he laid me on a
marble bench aud SOaped me and scrub |
he'd me all over with an implement !
that was rough fol Il brush but soft for
2 curry-comb. | got another shower
bath after this, and then the outcast |
stood me up and shot me IN the back
with spray of hot water that made |
me face arOund-well, quick as you |
might say-and instantly shot me with
4 sprav of ice water-and when | whirl- |
ed again | caught blast OF hot ar
lhOve, a spray of hot water below, ana
a Jet of ice water like thousand
needles in the middle. The operation
makes a man get around as spry as any
thing know of. But it is exquisite
torture. Then this inhuman Russian
posted me in a corner and discharged a
yollev of boiling hot and ice cold
streams of water against every part Oh
NV body. To say that this makes
man frisky is to use language OF uh-
,prakable tamcnesS. Then | was
told to Jump into the plunge
bath. said, with some irony,
that if was to 90 into furnace next,
and afterwards into an ice chest, aud
then suffer an earthquake and be struck
hy lightning, | would prefer to tackle
those outragcs first and get them of
my mind, if it would be all the same to
the Russian Bath Company. But the
foreigner said No, and looked perpleXed !
delicate sarcasm always perpleXeS a
foreigner-and plunged in. After this,
] had To climb up on the marble benches
and sweat and cook again, for fifteen
and then Adam came back .
and put me through the same old sys- F..
tenn of torturcs again, winding up with |
"a Niagara of a showcr-bath that must |
have washed all my sins away-unless |
they had got caked on mc-bccauSe |
felt like a Tegcneratcd man a moment !
Adam took me into a room !
of gentler temperature next, and rub |
bed me with his hands and kneaded !
me all over with his knuCkles as If | |
were dough; and sprung all my joints
and tried to pull my limbs out 10y the |
roots Then he brushed me gently all |
over with a soft brush, and finally sat
me up and scratched and scratched and /
scratched my head for ten minutes with |
his finger nails, but | had him there
he never caught anything.
| dressed and went into the drawing |
room and got my valuables, and as the
polite superintendent insisted and in
sisted and insisted on my taking drink /.
with him-hc asked me once, any way /
i did take Just small taste to make
him happy, and went my way. l ap-
preciated that young man, because po
likeness to n stranger is rare in New
York. The sharp wintry wind never
felt so bracing or smellcd 50 delicious as
it did when | went Striding up the
street. and if there was anything dis /
NAL or cheerlesS about this old world it
was not present to any of my senses
then The Russian bath will dc.
LORD GLASGOW AND THE TICKET Sci
LER.-A London correspondent writes
The mention of Lord Glasgow's name