Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1867-11-13
A HONEYMOON Scene.

Philemon Hayes and Fanny Ray had beer
Just three weeks married.
They sat at breakfast in their cozy dining
room one fine morning in summer, totally in
fatuated with each other. Never such hap
piness as theirs before The felicity of Adam
and his lady before they made the acquain
tance of the serpent, was not to be mentioned
in the same breath.
They kissed each other between every cur
of coffee, and made practice of embracing
at least twice-sometimes thrice-during eve
ry meal. Just now they were speaking Of
disagreements. Some friends of theirs had
fallen out and refused to fail in again.
"We never will disagree, will we? Phil
dear2n asked Mrs. Fanny.
"Disagree will the heavens fall?' return.
ed Phil. tragically.
81 sincerely hope not. 1t would be de.
cidedly disagreeable," laughed Fanny; but
if thought we should ever quarrel, and have
had thoughts towards each other, I should be
tempted to terminate my existence !"
"My precious Fannyl" cried Phil, spring
ing up and upsettng the toast plate on the
carpet, of which he was entirely oblivious in
his eagerness to get his arms around Fanny
90 My little foolish darling as if We should
ever be so absurd "a kiss.) May I be drawn
and quartered (another kiss) if l ever speak
one word that shall cause a tear 10 fill the di-
vine eyes of my dearest IA third explosion)
Fanny!'
so, how happy you mako me, Phil / shall
try so hard to be Just the faithful, loving wife
YOU deserve Now finish your breakfast dea-
ry. The toast will be growing cold. And
Oh, Phil! did you notice Mrs. Smiths horrid
new bonnet last night? l declare! it de
stroyed all my pleasure in the music! / do
wish people who will wear such uatasteful
bonnets would stay at home from these de-
lightful concerts"
$50 do l, Fanny I noticed the ugly thing
the moment we entered the hall /! blue flow
ers and pink ribbons, and she as dark as a
Creole! !"
"No, my love, the flowers were green
and blue look green so much alike by gas light j
81 know they do, but I noticed it so par
ticularly that could not be deceived. Blue
es,ecially light blue-looks fearfully on q
dark complexioned person"
$50 it docs, Phil, quite agree with you
dear. But the flowers were not blue, they
were green saw them at Mrs. Gray's shop
before they were purchased
"My dearest Fanny, Of course you think
yourself right my love, but | have very
good eye for color, and noticed those flow
ers with great attention. Blue anemones
with yellow centres"
Screen hibiscus with white centres, my
dear Phil. Very pretty for light skinned
woman, but not for brure,te!"
"Why, Fanny how absurd! As if ]
could not determine color when l studied
it half the evening"
"But it was by gas light my love. II
would look altogether different by day light
It was such pale green"
"It was such pale blue. I remember,
thought of the sky before storm"
And l}hs9ught Of the sea- It % was nearly M
aWhy, Fanny ridiculous 1t was sky
blue !"
How you do contradict rnci my dear
Philemon. 1t was very light green"
"And Insist it was blue"
"Do YOU mean to tell me lie ?"
81 mean to tell you, ycu ere mistaken
(Which amounts to the same thing y
"You make the application, Mrs. Hayes
"Mr Philemon Haycs!'
nFanny!"
81 say it was green, sir !
Sand say it was blue, 80 there !"
"You are q wretch Phil! a real mean
hcartless wretch - and Fanny pushed back
her plate angrily. :,
sAnd YOU are an opinionatcd, self,willed
woman p and Phil, in his agitation, upset Ii;
coffee, scalding the cats back and himself a
the same time.
"The deuce!" cried he, rubbing his rec
fingers with his handkerchief. f" wish II
never seen woman y
whats that sir?
"Confounl the women! They're curse
to the world m
"You Lruen cried Mrs. Hayes, now
thoroughly incensed-"t take that!" and seiz;nt
the plate of mullins she took aim at Phil
head, but being woman, her aim was not ST
accurate US it might have been, and the plat
went through the window smashing in tn
ne,s tile of Fritz James Jones, who was pas
sing; and the mullins were scattered in wilt
confusion about the room.
Phil was indignant. He laid his hand OF
the poker.
"if did not scosn to strike woman
he began. u..
sob, strike!" exclaimed Fanny, cit wi
only be in place with your other conduct
Don't let any notions of honor restrain yo'
because you never had any,"
"Fanny, beware! you may try me 100 far.
"I'll go home to pa, that will You Ill
, human monster, you!-Pll be divorced fror
you this very day. So there !" and the plat
ter Of ham made journey after the mullins
Just at that moment, Phil's Uncle John,
r shrewd old fellow appeared on the scene.
lie surveyed the group with an nnxiou
, twinkle of the eye.
"What's the matter, fanly Anythin
gone wrong ~ he inquired.
"Gonc wrong Matter enough! Oh! Unc'
John, he's n wretch, and he set out to strlk
me with the poker"
"And Sue threw plate of mullins and tn
ham at mc!" mn,
"He's monster, Uncle John. I'll be q
yorced from him this very day. He's Eor'
| than savage!"
; $50 he is," cried Uncle John, enterin
warmly into the spirit Of the thing $50
r is'-strippug off his coat-"and III sett
the thing OF once You stand back. Fanny
I'll give him such thrashing as he'll be Ink
" 10 remember. Striking his wife with
noker, indeed l'il rectify matters; an
Uncle John graspcd the lcng-handied ieath'