The Lancaster ledger. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1852-1905, 1867-02-06
W IT A N D H u NJ OR

eaIu "hoH hS iDaIIiti "luO" WeIn0lOp
three hundred pounds.
If a mau has a great idea Of himself
it is certain to be the only idea he ever
will have.
Fair weather friends are not worth
much but wet weather with umbrellas
TO lend are friends indeed.
""Tbere is many slip between the cup
and the lip" and there is slip after the
cup is taken from the Iip-especially
where the sidewalk is icy. ..
II you would find great many faults,
be on the look out. If you would find
them in still greater abundance, be on
the look in.
"Where is the East r. asked teacher
Of very little scholar. "WhArs the morn
ing comes FROM" was the prompt and,
pleasant answer.
A lady asked pupil at a public school
"What " as the sin of the Pharisees ~
"Eating camels, marm," quickly replied
the child. She had read that the Phar
isees strained at gnats and swallowed
camels.
4 want TO buy sewing g'macLine,' said
ar old lady, entering a shop 80 YOU
wish machine with feller" inquired
the clerk. 'Sakes, no; don't want any
yer fellgrs about me-
Sambo was hacking away at tough
OAK, when lightning struck a tree near
him, and shivered il. "Bress de Lord!
said he, 81 jes like to see um try dis one
I reckon dey find dere match !"
An old lady, who had insisted on her
ministers praying for rain, had her cab
bage cut up by a hail storm,and on view
ing the wreck, remarked that she never
knew him to undertake anything wlhou,
over doing the matter
Two Emera!ders were caught ont in a
gale, when one kneeed down and began
praying, BE aisy, Nike said. the other
as lie ran his oar down; i can telch bot
tom. Be aisy what's the use Of prayin'
when we can fetch bottom ...#
"Pat," said Judge sniff to his neigh
Dor in sleeping car, "you would have
remained long timc in the old country
before You could have slept with Judge >
"Yes, yer honor, and We would have been
a long time in the old country before ye'd
been Judge"
"Sammy, Sammy, my son, don't stand
there scratching your head-s,ir your
stumps, or you will make no progress in
life"
why father replied the hopeful, I've
often heard you say that the only way to
get on in this world was to scratch a
head
New MACuINE.-W We heard 4 small
and very dirty little mig telling another
on Sunday. Of new instrument Of tor
ture, brought here by the two pious
young females Of the Puritan persuasion
who are at present teaching negro schools
in this place. He described it rs some
thing like vice, which hold a cow-hide,
and jus. whipped Of itself! lie declared
lie "wan', gwine back no more, nuther."
VEroED.-A fond father,tLe other day,
wishing to form an alliance between his
stupid Iubberly son and fne young Ia
dy Of bis acquaintance, sent him TO her
with the following note: ..7 ...
Dear How me to present
my Bill for your acceptance.
The young lady sent The spooney back
to his father with the following reply
Dear Sir-Your Bill is vetoed.
~ BoREs.-Old gentlemen who sit in An
editors sanctum. and read tho exchanges
aloud to him. Mothers who force disin
terested persons to notice their children.
Squalling babies on the cars. Ladies
who crowd you out of your seats in the
cars. A suffering man drunk. Adruu
ken man that doesn't sturter. A young
gentleman fresh from bis travels. A still
younger gentleman from his college. a
ipaH that reads poetry to you Creditors
OF every description. a man that wants
70 borrow money f.om you A yourg
doctor" from A-siaging for his "Caro,
Iiner' a pair OF lovers.