The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1867-03-18


isn't you. No; rather think it's Iwho ought
to groan2
- "Oh dearl That's fourteen years ago. You
were a very different man then, Mr.. Caudle.
What do you say 2-And / aCas a Uery different
Uomaa2 Not at adjust the same. Oh, you
needn't roll your head about on the pillow in
that way; l say just the same. Well, then,
if Pm altered, whose fault is it Not mne
Pm suro-certainly not. Don't tell me that |
couldn't talk at all them could talk lust as
well then as can now; only then hadn't the
same cause. It's you who have made me
talk. What do you say You're Uey sorry
JorH? Caudle, you do nothing but insult me.
'lla! You were gOOd-tempered nice crea-
ture fourteen years ago, and would have done
anything for me- Yes, yes, if a woman would
be always cared for she should never marry.
There's quite an end of the charm when she
goes to church We're all angels while you're
courting us; but once married, how soon you
pull our wings Off No, Mr.. Caudle, Pm not
talking nonsense; but the truth is you like
to hear nobody talk but yourself Nobody
ever tells me that | talk nonsense but you.
Now, it's no use your turning and turning
about in that way: it's not a bit of-what do
you say? YOWU get up2 No, you won't,
Caudle; you'll not serve me that trick again;
for I've locked the door and hid the key.
There's no getting hold of you in daytime
DuI mere you can't leaNe Inc. lou ub0llll
groan again. Mr. Caudle.
''Now Caudle. dear. do let us talk comfort
ably. After all, love, there's good many
folks who, dare say, don't geo on half so well
as we've done. We've both our little tempers
perhaps, but you are aggravating; you must
own that. Caudle. Well, never mind we
won't talk Oft won't scold you now. Well
talk of next Sunday, love. We never have
kept our wedding-day and | think it would be
nice day to have our friends. What do you
say? Ihey'd think 10 hypocriSy. No hypocrisy
at all. I'm sure try to be comfortable; and
if ever man was happy, you ought to be. No.
Caudle, no; it isn't nonsense to keep wedding
days; it isn't a deception on the world; and if
it is, how many people do it I'm sure it's
only proper compliment that man owes to
his wife. Look at the Winlles-don't they
give a dinner every year! Well, | know, and
if they do fight little in the course of the
twelvemonth, that's nothing to do with it,
They keep their weddingda and their ac-
quaintance have nothing to do with anything
else.
GAS | say, Caudle, it's only proper COM
pliment a man owes to his wife to keep his
wedding-day. 1t is as much as to say to the
whole world, There if l had to marry again,
my blessed wiie's the only woman I'd choose p
Well l see nothing to grOan at, Mr.. Caudle-
no, nor to sigh at either; but | know what you
Iltdll,. 1 Ill sure, WudJ WOulu nave beCOUl6 Oh
you, if you hadn't married as you have done
why, you'd have been a lost creature l
know it; know your habits, Caudle; and-I
don't like to say it-but you'd have been little
better than ragamutin. Nice scrapes you'd
have got into, know, if you hadn't had me
for wife. The trouble I've had to keep you
respectable-and what's my thanks Ha! l
only wish you'd had some women!
'But we won't quarrel Caudle. No; you
this little dinner, eh Just a few friends
Now don't say you don't care-that isn't the
way to speak to a wife; and especially the wife
I've been to you, Caudle. Well you agree to
the dinner, Ell? Now don't grunt, Mr.. Cau-
die, but speak out. You'll keep your we'd
ding-day What? II IU let yoU go to sleep?
Ha, that's unmanly, Caudle; can't you say,
Yes, without anything else {? l say-can't
you say yes !-There, bless you! knew
You would.
"And now, Caudle, what shall we have for
dinner? Move won't talk of it tomorrow
Wen talk of it now, and then it will be off my
mind. l should like something particular
something out of the way Just to show that
we thought the day something. l should like
Mr.. Caudle, you're not asleep! What do
'0ont? Why, you know want to settle about
the dinner. Haze Chat like? No: as it is
your fancy to keep the day, it's only right
that l should try to please you. We never
had one, Caudle; so what do you think of a
haunch of venison What do you say
Mutton aCW do? Ha that shows what you
think of your wife: | dare say if it was with
any of your club friends-any of your pot
house cOmpanions-you'd have no objection
to venison. | say if-what do you mutter ?
Let It be UeniSon? Very we'll And now about
the fish What do you think Of a nice tur-
bot No, Mr.. Caudle, brill won't dot shall
! be turbot, or there shant be any fish at all.
| Oh, what a mean man you are, Caudle Shall
| it be turbot II shall? And now about the
soup-now, Caudle, don't swear at the soup
| in that manner; you know there must be soup.
! Well, once in a way, and Just to show ou1
friends how happy we've been, We II have some
real turtle. No you 1ronE youW hare nothing bW
mock? Then, Mr.. Caudle, you may sit at the
table by yourself. Mock-turtle on a wedding
| day Was there ever such an insult What
do you say! Let it be real Hen, far once? Ha,
Caudle as | say, you We're very different
person fourteen years ago.
"And Caudle, you'll look after the veni
son? There's place know, somewhere il
the city, where yOu'll get it beautiful. You'll
look at it You ,oW ? Very well.
"And now who shall we invite Who j
like? Now, you know, Caudle, that's non
sense; because l only like whom you like.
suppose the Prettymans must come. But un
derstand, Caudle, don't have Miss Pretty
man; Pm not going to have my peace of minc
destroyed under my own roof: if she comes
don't appear at the table. What do yol
say Very aoel? Very well be it, then.
"And now, Caudle, you'll not forget tn
venison In the City, my DEAR You'll no
forget the venisoni A haunch, you know:
nice haunch. And you'll not forget tn
venison !"-
''Three times did l fall asleep says eau
die, land three times did my wife nudge m
with her elbow, eXclaiming-IYou,l not forge