Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1867-12-12

outrajus screetchlns and klcklns up MIS-
Hirum Doolittle, who kindly furnisht sum
cold vittles at a trying time, when it was
not konvenient to cook vittles at my house !;
and the Peasleys, Parsunses 4 Watsunses
fur there meny ak OF kindness.
Trooly yures,
ARTEMUs WARD.
ANECDOTE OF THE WESTERN BAR.
Perhaps some of our readers will recog-
nize the picture of the method in which law
was administered hereabouts, in the olden
time-particularly if they happen to belong
to the legal fraternity themselves, and are
men advanced in years.
The> first illustrates the ruling passion
for "poker," among the members of the
Western bar. The court is in session, the
Judge is on the bench, and the case OF
Smith vs.. Brown is called up. GAIL ready!'
shouts the counsel for defendant, but the
counsel for plaintiff does not respond.
"Who's for the PLAINTIFF" inquiries the
Judge, somewhat impatiently.
"May it please the Court" says rising
member of the legal fraternity, "Pilkins is
for the plaintiff, but I left him just now over
in the tavern, playing game of poker.
He's got sucker there, and he's sure to
skin him if he only has time. He's got
the thing all set to ring in cold deck,
in which case he will deal himself four aces
and his opponent four queens, so that your
honor will perceive that he will rake the
persimmons.
The look of impatience vanished from
the face of His Honor at once, and IN ex-
preston more of sorrow than anger took
its place. At length he said with heavy
sigh:
"Dear me, that's too bad! 1t happens
at very unfortunate time. l am very anx-
ious to get on with these cases."
A brown study followed, and at length
happy idea struck the Judge.
"Bill," SAID he, addressing the friend of
the absent Pilkins, 'you understand poker
about as we'll as Pilkins, suppose you 60
over and play his hand !!
At another time, counsel took some ex-
ception to the ruling of the Court on GER
tain point, and dispute arose:
eff the Court please" said the counsel.
II wish to refer to this book a moment, "
and at the same moment picking up large
law volume.
'There's no use of your referring to any
books exclaimed the Court, angrily. IL
have decided this pint"
"I know that" was the rejoinder. "l'm
satisfied of that-but this is volume of
Blackstone-I'm certain he differs with
your Honor, and only want to show you
vhat id fool Blackstone was :"
"Ah that indeed ?" exclaimed the Court,
smiling all over, "'sosu you begin to talk. "
On similar occasion the affair did not
end so happily. The Court decided a point
adverse to the views of the counsel. Coun-
sci was stubborn, and insisted that the
Court was wrong.
~ tell you am right" yelled the Court
with flashing eyes.
81 tell you, you are not p retorted the
counsel.
81 am right" reiterated the Court.
81 say you ain t persisted the counsel.
"Crier,' yelled the judge, ~ adjourn
this court for ten minutes !'
And jumping from the bench, he pitched
into the counsel and after very lively lit
tie fight, placed him hors du combat, after
which, business was again resumed but it
was not long before another misunderstood.
ing arose.
"Crier," said the Court, Eve will ad-
iourn this time for twenty minutes -
And he was about taking off his coat
when the counsel said:
"Never mind Judge, keep your seat-the
pint is yielded-my thumbs out o'joint,
and I've sprained my shoulder y
psE Green spectacled pedagogue, enthro
ned upon three-legged stool, with sceptre
of birch firmly grasped-exclsims-
"Big boys, come up and parse the pig
squeaks:' Now tell me what is 'the' p
"The, sir, is preposterous article. nom
NATIVE to pig"
"Why do you call it a preposterous arti
cle?"
"Because it stands before pig. I would
not stand before one tor shllllng.
ssNext boy, parse pig"
"Pig is common noun."
"Because it is so common, that you CAM
see nothing else in the streets"
"What is squeaks p
GA noun proper, sir:
"Why is it proper, Ezekiel ?" :.
"Because it makes proper loud noise
and disturbs all the neighbors."
'That's O. K. Now you can all 60 anc
carry on with the gals
~ A Quaker, on hearing man swear
at a particular bad piece of road, went uE
to him and said: "Friend, I am under the
greatest obligations to thee. | would my
self have done what thou has done, but my
religion forbids it. Don't let my consci'
ence, however, bride thine; give thine in.
dignation wings, and suffer not the preju.
dice of others to paralyzethe tongue Of JUS