The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1867-01-24
MAS v.

Written for the Toledo Blade
Mr.. Nasty Essays a Sermon, but II In.
terrupted by = Niger who il Aided
and Abetted by Lhe PerVerse Joe
Rigler.
PosT OFFS, CoNFEDRIT x ROADS
(Which is in the Stait NV Kentucky,)
January 10, 1867.
IwuH rekested week ago to preech
a discourse from the text wich the no.
BILE and high-minded Guvner Bramlette
used with sich crushin force in his last
Leopard change his spots or the Ethi-
opean his skin :" and allus feelin anx-
iOus to do wat 1 kin for the cause, did
it last mite. or rather essayed to do it.
And here let me remark that there
aint a more devoted people in Kentucky
than them lambs ez compose my flock.
It wuZ tetchin site and one which
filled my sole with Joy to see em pour
ont Nv the groceries at the first tootin
Nv the horn, and to see Pennebacker,
witch owns the Distillery, stoppin work
to come; but the most cheerin and en-
couragin sign to me wuz to see Deekin
Pogram, who wuz a playin seven-up
for the drinks with Elder Slathers, at
Bascom's, lay down his hand when he
he'd high, low and jack in it, and he'd
only three to go. "Elder," said he, his
voice tremblin at the sacrifice he wuz a
maxim and q tear stealth down his
cheek, "Elder, them's the horn. Let us
the front seat Nv temp'ral matters"
and sighin ez he cast a partin glance at
his hand, he strobe out, resolootly to
the sanktooary.
Iopened by readin the follerin from
Gov. Bramlette's message.
1.-THE nigger is the inferior Nv the
white-he lacks the power to rise. On
til the leopard kin change his spots, or
the Ethiopian his skin, any efforts to
repeal or nullify Gods laws will be
unavailin."
''A1y bretherin these words is words
NV wisdom, and for em let us be thank
full. The skin Nv the Ethiopian wus
inflicted onto him for the express pur-
pose NV distingishin him from his
brethrin, whose servants he wuZ con-
demned to be, for all time, ez a punish
ment for the sin NV Cain or the improo-
dence NV Ham, which, Democratic di-
vines hevent settled on. With the
black skin he wuz given all the other
marks of inferiorlty. He was Gust
with long arms, immense hands, flat
nose, and bowed legs, and that ther
mite be no mistake in the matter he
wuz given wool instead NV hair, halle
loogy!
"Ah, my brethern, wat a blessid
thing for us is this Ethiopian! Wat a
consolation it must be to yoo all to
know that there is race below 700, and
how blessed the retieckshun that they
can't change ther skin, and by that
means git above 700! That's the COM
fort we draw from the skipters. Wat a
horror it wood be for Deekin PoRram,
who is snorin so peacehy,
':Dreamin, sweetly dreamin the happy
hours away" @
Ell when the Soopreme Court decides
the AbliShin amendment unconstoo-
Sh md hn Crif fl hi nj haf in
eff ther shood be new dispensachun
and niggers shood be permitted to
change ther skins! Wat sekoority
wood we hev for our property? Some
mornin he'd wake up and find EN- all
white persons which it would be un-
constooshnel to wollop.
"My brethren ther hez bin many ef-
forts TO change the skin NV the EIhio-
plan, or rather ther hes bin many who
wanted to. The Boston AbliShnists hev
tried it, but wat hez bin the result?
Amt they niggers yit, and aint they
still the degraded wretches they alluz
wuZ? paws for reply"
I made this latter remark becoz, and
and only becoZ, it sounded well, not
that 1 he'd any idee that anybody
wood reply. i smagine my surprise at
seein gray-headed nigger wich he'd
bin doorin and after the fratrisidle
struggle employed in the Freedman'S
Burow, rise, and remark that he he'd
word to say onto that pint. There wuZ
a storm NV indignashun, and the im-
pudent nigger, who wuz SO sassey ez to
presoom to speek in white meetin,
wood hev bin sacrificed on the spot,
he'd not Joe Bigler, who wuZ half
drunk, drawd q ugly-lookin navy re-
yoIver, and remarkin that he knoWd
that nigger-that he he'd more sense
than the hull bilin NV US, ana he shood
hev his say.
"Ef," sed this recklis Joe, "ef he beats
700, Professor, trooth is trooth; lets
heV it. Ef he don't, why, it's all the
better for yoo. Eff yoor websterian in
telleck kivers the ground, all rite-ef
his ponderous intelleck gets the best
ont, jist as rite. Out nv the mouths
nv babes and sucklIns.' Elder, go
my bottom dollar on this sucklin.
Speek mp, Yenerable-there wont none
nv EN- tech 700" and he cockt his re-
yolyer.
HBeggin pardon" sed the niger, ''I
agree with 700, Perfesser, that the Ethi-
opian can't change his skin hisself, but
does the Scripter say that it can't be
changed for him ?"
'tAnser the venerable babe" sed Joe
Bigler, pintin his revolver at me.
81 can't say that it does" sez 1.
''VeEy good" retorted the niger,
'heZnt there n change bin goin on in
Kaintuck from the beginnip? Ny
mother wuz ez black ez a crow-I'm
considerable Iightsr-my wife's a half
lighter than am-my gals children Is
half lighter than their mother, and 1
want to know wat Guvner BramletIe'S
got TO say to that The white man amt
got no cuss onto him, heZ he"
s'Speek up Perfesser-the Gucklin
wants voc. TO be prompt" sed Joe Big
answered that he he'd not-shat it
wuz piled onto Ham or Cain and their
descendants, and nobody else"
1 Very well then," sed the niger,
chueklin all over, "ez I am only
half Ham or Cain, (Which you hevn't
decided, } then nv coarse there's only
half cuss onto me, only a quarter onto
my wife, only an eighth onto my
| daughters, only q sixteenth onto my.
/ daughterss children, and there's lots 6v
/ uigSers in this yer Visfnity wat hazu't
got the thirty-sekkund or the sixty
| fourth part nv Il hangfn to EN-. Guvner
Bramletts also ssd suthin bout niggera