The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1867-07-06
HOW a YounE Nan Goes TO Ded.
trom hc IndidndpoliI AeraLd.


a few days since We published an
extract from a story in THE Land We
Lore ~ written by Miss Fanny Down
ing. 1t WIS entitled allow u Young
Lady Goes 70 Bed" and although not
AN entire stranger to "a lady's bOHdOfT,
we cannot assure the most enlightened
of our sex of the fidelity or truthful-
ness of Miss Fanny's sketch. Doubt
less il afforded great qualification 10 the
majority OF male readers; it did to us,
we know, and as a slight return we in
tend TO disclose to her sex the manner
in which young man goes TO bed, and
shall cite as an example one OF our own
acquaintances. For convenience we
adopt the same style in which the other
was written, and use the past tense.
Dlsmissing his fuddled companion of
the evening at the street door, Master
George performed the task of ascend
ing the two flights Of stairs leading to
his own room, as noiselessly as the
weakness of his legs would admit, and
without other assistance than that OF
his own unsteady fingers grasping
along the walls. Upon reaching the
room the coat was removed and hung
at the back of the nearest chair, the
vest was handled more carefully ,sns the
pocket contained his watch, but the
pantaloons came of with Jerk.
After filling and lighting his pipe he
proceeded with the preliminaries. Some
recent purchases were taken from a
coat pocket and part placed upon the
mantel, and the balance slowed away
in u trunk to be used as circumstances
might require. With much Juggling,
growing and swearing the boots were
removed, and the last one hsing unu-
sually troublesome received an impetus
from the foot that sent it flying 10 the
furthermost corner. Removing then
pair of socks (that should have been in
the washsrwomap's tub) an earnest
protracted inspection of the feet en-
sued, the young man indulgiug In
speculatfonS as to whether or no these
blasted eorns would prevent his ap-
pearing in "them new boots" at that
.'little gathering" Tomorrow night.
The delicate paper collar (size imma-
teriall was hastily torn of, and being
soiled on both sides from turning, was
disdaIuiully tossed toward the Fireplace
and the neck tie flung on the foot OF the
bed. -s-f g.-rEE Er-
The usual slow process of removing
the shirt was ignored on this occasion;
several impatient jerks and then with II
sudden stretch oil the arms, OFF went
buttons, rip went muslin, and the angu-
lar shoulders of the wearer "rose in
unrestricted freedom" Ths "snOwy"
night-shiTt was then drawn over the
head and its delicate-cotton tape
binding and graceful folds of brown
cotton flannel left to accommodate
themselves TO circumstances.
i"A puff of fragrant breath" redolent
of bad gin and lemon from pair Otto
bacco stained lips, and out went the
light, and down went the pipe on the
table. Not being SO unfortunate as 10
have any MANDY for room mate, and
hehOHsehoId domestics being aged and
discreet, he did not leave the door un-
bolted, but with a growl at each bach
eIoric solitude OF his couch, packed
down the "kiver,'' and plunged within,
pressed his innocent head on the pill
low, and after several moments of
twitching. turning and grumbling, set
tied on his back and a fierce attack of
snoring ensued, which closes the scene.
Imagine such Il domestic existence as
this linked on the etherial dainty, and
refined "AIiss Preston" Enjoy your
little maidenly privileges and arrange
ments while you can, miss Charlie"
for we fear that variety of cireuni-
stances in welded life would ruthless
Iy interfere with the systematic course
ascribed to you in preparing for
nights rest.