Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1867-01-26
MOKELUMNE HILL CAIAvERAs COUNTY. CAL,

every compartment, first, second and
third, the whole length of train, if he
was to venter to initiate my demeanor.
It's the same with the porters, the same
with the guards, the same with the
ticket clerks, the same the whole way
up to the secretary, traffic manager, or
the very chairman. There amt one
among 'em on the nobly independent
footing we are. Did you ever catch one
of them, when you wanted anything of
him, making system of surveying the
Line through transparent medium
composed Of your head and body? l
should hope not
You shouldsee our Bandolining Room
at Mugby Junction. It's led to, by the
door behind the counter, which you'll
notice usually stands ajar, and it's the
room where Our Missis and our young
ladies Bandolines their hair You
should see 'em at it, betwixt trains,
BandollniDg away, as if they was an
ointing themselves for the combat
When you're telegraphed, you should
see their es all a going up with scorn
as if it was part of the working of the
same Cooke and Wheatstone electrical
machinery. You should hear Our Mis-
sis give the word "Here comes the Beast
to be Fedr' and then you should see
,em Indignantly skipping across the
Line. from the Up to the Down, or Wi
ces Warsay, and begin to pitch the stale
pastry into the plates, and chuck the
sawdust sangwitches under the glass
covers, and get out the-ha ha ha =
the Sherry-O, my eye, my eye for
your Refreshment
It's only in the Isle of the Brave and
Land of the Free (by which of course
mean to say Britannia), that Refresh
menting is so effective, so 'olesome, SO
constitutional a check upon the public
There was forei gner, which having po-
litely, with his hat off, beseeched our
young ladies and Our Missis for ga lee
tel gloss hoff prarndee," and having had
the Line surveyed through him by all
and no other acknowledgment, was a
proceeding at last to help himself, as
seems to be the custom in his own
country, when Our Missis with her hair
almost a coming un-Bandolined with
rage, and her eyes omitting sparks, flew
at him, cotched the decanter out of his
hand, and said "Put it down L won t
allow that !" The foreigner stepped back
with his arms in front of him his hands
clasped, and his shoulders riz, and ex-
claimed: "Ah !! Is it possible this !
That these disdaineous females and this
ferocious old woman are placed here by
the administration, not only to empoison
the voyagers, but to affront item! Great
Heaven How arrives it The English
people. Or is he then slave? or idiot?"
Another time, a merry, wide awake
American gent had tried the sawdust
and spit it out, and had tried the sherry
and spit that out, and had tried in vain
to sustain exhausted natur upon Butter
Scotch, and had been rather extra Ban
dolined and Line-surveyed through,
when, as the bel was ringing, and he
paid Our Missis, he says, very loud and
good tempered ri tell Yew what tits,
ma'arm. I la'af. Theer! la'af. l
dew l oughter ha' seen most things.
for hail from the Unlimited side of the
Atlantic Ocean, and | haive travelled
right slick over the Limited, head on
through Jee-rusalemm and the East,
and likeways France and Italy, Europe,
Old World, and am now upon the track
to the Chief EUROPEAN Village; but such
an institution as Yew, and Yewer young
ladies, and Yewer ixin's solid and liq-
uid, afore the glorious Tarnal l never
did see yet! And if l hain't found the
eighth wonder of monarchical Creation,
in finding Yew and Yewer young Ia
dies, and Yewer fxin's solid and liquid,
ell as aforesaid, established in a country
where the people air not absolute Loo
naticks, am Extra Double Darned
with Nip and Frizzle to the innermost-
est grit! Wheerfur-Theer-I la af l
Dew, ma Farm. l la'af" And so be
went, stamping and shaking his sides,
along the platform all the way to his own
compartment.
l think it was her standin up agin
the Foreigner as Civ Our Missis the
idea of goin over to France, and droring
a comparison betwixt Refreshmenting
as followed among the frog eaters, and
Rafreshmenting as triumphant in the
Isle of the Brave and Land of the Free
(by which of course l mean to say agin
Britannia). Our young ladies, Miss
Whit, Miss Piff and Mrs. Sniff, was
unanimous opposed to her going; for,
as they says to Our Missis, one and all,
it is well known to the heads of the
berth as no other nation except Britain
has an idea of anythink, but above all,
of business. Why then should you tire
yourself to prove what has been already
proved? Our Missis, however, (being a
teazer at all points,, stood out grim OBJ
stinatc, and got a return pass by South
Eastern Tidal, to go right through, if
such should be her dispositions, to Mar
seilles.
Sniff is husband to Mrs. Sniff, and is
a regular Insignificant cove He looks
arter the sawdust department In back
room, and is sometimes, when we are
hard put to it, let in behind the count
er with corkscrew; but never when
it can be helped, his demeanor toward
the public being disgusting servile.-
How Mrs Sniff ever come so far to
lower herself as to marry him, 1 don't
know; but I suppose he does, and
II IL l.