Des Arc weekly citizen., 1867-12-14
SALMAGUNDI.

esS- It is the lot of humanity to err at times, as the drunken nah said when he mistook the pig-sty for his bed room.
 sB- The feasoh why pretty womcr cant see their own defects is that they are unwilling to pluck the beams out of their own bright eyes.
 rsy- If like cures like, isn't bestowing fondness on our friends the best means of losing them?
 S6- A clergyman at an afternoon service was asked to read hotice bf a %oman's rights lecture, which he did in this wise "At half-past six o'clock, at the school house in the first district, hen will attempt to crow"
 bg- At school at Wallsend, tho master asked class of boys the inean- ing of the word appetite" After short pause, one little boy said, Il know sir; when I'm eatin' I'm 'appy, and when I'm done I'm tight"
 sy- Nice boy-"Ma, if you will give me peach, 1 will be good boy"
 "No, my child, you must not be good for pay that is not right"
 "You don't want me to be good-fora nothing, do you?"
 nHr An "cld soaker" wants to know, if water will destroy boots, What must be it's fearful effects on the delicate lin- ings of the stomach? He don't think he'll try the experiment,
 lz- Here is French joke Custoihs er-"Have you packed those matches for Madame Goquen so that there will be no danger?" Storekeepcr-"Oh, never fear. have scraped off all tho birthstone"
 Hg An editor became martial, and was created captain. On parade, in- steai of two paces in frcnt-advance he unconsciously bawlea out, 'Cash- two dollars year-advahce"
 pg Tacitus committed trifling er- TOT when he said that Sin the early ages man lived life of innocence and sim- plicity." The first woman went astray, the very first man that was born in the world killed the second. When did the time of simplicity begin?
 ng An unsophisticated young lady in Boston remarked, oh leaving con- cert, that she was particularly enrap- tured with that piece called the 12th Massachusetts. It was Mozart's 12th Mass.
 sD~ "What makes your cows so cross p said an old lady to the milk man the other day. "Cross, madam? they are the gentlest things in the world" ""Well, the milk is always sour," the inatron replied.
 Dssr That is precociohs child just beginning in geography, who insists that tho Poles live partly at one end of the globe and partly at the other. Hc knows it is so, because they are marked on the map.
 Bega "Julius, did you attend de last meeting ob de debating society p "Yes, sir" "Well, what was de fust thing dat came afore de house?" "Why, it was a charcoal cart"
 I@ "How do you and your wife get on?" "Oh, rather badly she gave mo her hand awhile ago, and thanked her; she gives it to me now every time l speak, and I'd thank her not to-"
 py- "What do you mean by saw dehtist?" "Imean a man who sharpens and repairs the teeth of saws"
 pg- In California from fifty to one hundred and twenty-five dollars per month in gold are not uncommon wages for teamsters, carpenters, shipbuilders, caulkers, blacksmiths and the like some, however, being paid by the day. Miners receive from three and halfto five dollars a day. Farm laborers, of course, are always needed, and can reckon on thirty to forty dollars a month and board; they soon come to own farms of their own.
 g@- A Montgomery, Ala, telegram states: "Gen. Pope telegraphs Gcn Swaine; December }, asking if the con- vention caiinot be induced to adjourn without further legislation, and says the convention is doing incalculable injury to reconstruction by it's late ac- ton, This is the second dispatch of the same tenor from Gen. Pope. The members have declared Gen. P0pe's telegram insulting"
 D6g- The reason of the failure of the Southern emigrants to Brazil and Mex ico, is explained by the Charleston Mcr- cury. The act of cmigrating implies enterprise, firmness, fortittide and courage. It is just the reverse with the Southern men, who have abandoned their country in disgust since the war. They have done so ''because they lack the firmness, furtitude, courage and en- terprise necessary to endure and cope with their untoward circumstances"
 pay~ The feature of the dress at our reunions is one that has never before been remarked of young American women, and that is the universal adop- tion of the decolete, or low neck dress. Heretofore low necks have been tho exception, now they are the rule, and covering, where it is used, seems to be employed only to conceal the want of physical charms, not the charms them- selves.