davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-05-28
Flat2,a4aa dgddJe high datas datcc.

s'Much remains unsung, as the cat remark
ed when a brick shortened his serenade.
The editor who said his mouth never uttered
lie, probably spoke through his nose
What kind of essence does young man like
when he pops the question? Acqulescence.
A Nevada newspaper calls contemporary "a
broken winded, caloric, whang-doodle newspa-
per concern.
Excited Frenchman at Niagara Falls "Eh
dis is re grand specialize Supaab! Magnifque
By gar, he is come down first rate.
Let us remove temptation from the path of
youth, as the frog said as he plunged into the
water, when he saw boy pick up stone.
Here S the bannisters, but where in the deuce
are the stairs-as the drunken fellow said while
cropping his way around the bed-stead in the
dark.
Ladies are watches-pretty enough to look
at-sweet faces and delicate hands, but some
what difficult to regulate when once started
agoing.
There is young lady in this place whose lips
resemble peach blossoms so much that,-she has
to keep vail over her face to keep bees out of
her mouth.
A Texas editor charges a brother of the quill
with stealing other people, editorials, and ad-
monishes him to render unto scissors the
things that are scissors"
A sleepy deacon who sometimes engaged in
popular games, hearing the minister use the
words "shu61e off this mortal coil, started up,
rubbed his eyes, and exclaimed. ssHold on its
my deal
Punch illustrates "unbecoming levity" by
presenting a wood cut of scene in church
wherein a crowd of spectators are awaiting the
arrival of a wedding party To the scene is APP
pended this dialogue by way of a glossary -
Fair Young LADY, see some one In the
crowd outside waving handkerchief | sup
pose the bride is approaching.
Light Young Man. Handkerchief? w hite
one? By Jove, perhaps it s reprieve p
Several years ago political convention in a
neighboring State nominated quiet well-to-do
farmer for the Office of Lieutenant Governor.
The nominee graciously received the committee
appointed to wait upon him at his residence:
and after expressing his thanks for the honor
conferred upon him, informed the committee,
ant Governor, for gentlemen said he, 'that
is just the Office Ihave held in my house for the
past twenty years. y He must have been
married
The credit system has been carried to very
fine point in some of the rural districts, if we
may judge from the following dialogue, said to
have recently occurred between customer and
the proprietor
'Haow's trade, squire %
''Wall, cash trades kinder dull naow'
Dun anything terday?"
"Wall, only a leetle-on credit Aunt Betsy
Pushard has bort an egg worth of tea and got
trusted for it till her speckled pullet lays
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-05-28
EOREST uJTT,

This splendid Estate is located in Albemarle
county, Va, on the Rivanna river, seven miles
East of Charlottesville. Contains 935 acres, 400
acres cleared land, the balance in timber Of the
cleared land 14O acres arc river low grounds of
very superior quality.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-05-28


Judge Jonah Joles, Western judicial dig
nitary, recently delivered the following charge
to the jury in the case of one Film Crouch, on
trial for stealing:
Jury, you can go out, and don't show your
ugly mugs here till you can find verdict. If
you can't find one of your own, git the one the
last jury used''
The jury retired, and, after an absence of ff-
teen minutes, returned with verdict of sui
eide in the ninth degree and fourth verse"
Then Judge Jones pronounced upon Crouch
the sentence:
'sEium Crouch, stan right up and face the
music. You are found guilty of suicide for
stealing: Now, this court sentences you to pay
bagganet in the barracks, and if you try to
cave in the heads of any of the jury, you'll
catch thunder, that's all. Your fate will be a
warning to others; and, in conclusion, may the
Lord have mercy on your SOUL
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-05-28
YEVHE EXCELSIOR DRAG SAW.
E. BERREY'S PATENT, July 10, 1Se

This celebrated machine combines greater du-
rability, simplicity, and strength than any other
cord wood, stove wood, cooper stuff single stuff,
&c.
1t has the capacity for cutting from thirty to
forty cords per day; will saw a log four feet in
diameter without choking, and works easily with
two or four horses. 1t can be run with any horse
power. The saw-gude is self-operating. The
guide controls the saw while entering the log and
also controls saw while going through the log
We are now manufacturing these machines, for
delivery to any part Of this StaGe. All orders
will receive prompt attention.
FOR further particulars address the proDrietors,
BAkLE & LINN,
u II ~si1ir.a,- A1rraetn ,o,,-aIrt
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-05-28

.. I
of concern of formerly with
Valentine & Son. Elicit q Drewry.
VALENTINE & FRANKLIN.
RICHMOND, VA,
Importers and Wholesale Dealers i'm
3 FANCY GOODS,
NOTIONS, HOSIERY, GLOVES, &c,
ask the attention of the trade to the large and
ried stock of goods kept by us, (which is being
constantly replenishe of all the staples and nov
elites peculiar to our line of business.
We can assure our friends of former years, that
our facilities for buying are the same with the
Jobber farther North and that our desire to re-
new and foster trade once to our mutual advan-
tage is quite equal to his
We giUe to Orders oar personal attention.
ir VALENTINE s. FRANKLIN,
may21-6m 1908 Main street
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-05-28
SHADWELL MILLS

This property is 4 miles below Charlottesville,
Va, Immediately on the Va. Central Railroad
depot being at the mills and the Rivanna Canal
running directly by them.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-05-28
TTyHE OLD ESTABLISHED WATCH
Pau YOat9. Honest Debts.

Pay Your Honest Debts.
lyl AND SISTERNS.
From this day and until the 10Th of this month,
will hold a meeting in my counting room when
Twill hold forth from the text
Il Give unto Cesar acAat IS Due Cesar. :
Now is the time to come up, for verify if you
don't hearken to my call, Judgment Day, tom
MarshalD will be at your door before you are a.
ware. hint to the wise is sufficient
jan 8-tf S. II. HILB.
VvO THE PURLIC.-Our accounts will all
i, be drawn off by the first of january, 1867,
and we hope that all who are indebted to us will
come forward promptly and settle, as we cannot
carry on our business successfully if they fail to
do so. After that date we propose to DO
STRICTLY A CASH BUSINESS, r.
and hope that our friends will not ask us to de-
part from this rule -
dec 25-tf HOGE 81 MASON.
Vim copy ~ -
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-05-28

CHEERFUL WoRK-One of the most valuable
and one of the most infectious example which
can be set before the young is that of cheerful
working. Cheerfulness gives elasticity to the
spirit Spectres fly before it difficulties cause
no despair, for they are encountered with hope,
and the mind acquires that happy disposition
to improve opportunities which rarely fails OF
success. The fervent spirit is always a healthy
and happy spirit, working cheerfulaly itself and
on even the most ordinary occupations. The
most effective work, also, is always the full
hearted work-that which passes through the
hands or the head of him whose heart is glad.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-05-28
Johnson TRACT

This farm, containing 337 acres lies in the co.
of Albemarle, Va, 6 miles from Charlottesville,
and one mile from the river
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-05-28

A NATIONS TRUE GLoRY.-The wisest
prince that ever sat upon throne has told us
that righteousness exalteth a nation An
English writer of the seventeenth century says
on this subject: 1t is not Ahithophel's poll
cy; it is not Jeroboam's calves in Dan and
Bethel; it is not Jehu's pompous zeal f; tits not
Goliah sword it is not rich mines gold and
silver, nor magazines, nor armies, nor counsels,
nor fleets, nor forts, but justice and righteous
ness that exalt a nation, and that will make a
mean people to become a great, a glorious. and
a famous people in the world. If the nations
would learn wisdom!
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-05-28

Common Sense Family Sewing Machine
for ahe benefit Of the Ladies Memorial Associa-
bon. This machine is cheap and durable, and
has given entire satisfaction wherever used.
Price 500 and warranted for three years. Ma
chine shown and references given.
Agents in the country are wanted who will sell
it for the same purpose. 70 whom the profits Of
every third machine viii be given
feb i9--tf M So
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-05-28

A WORD TO HUsBANDs.-H anybody ever
written upon the responsibility which rests up
on husband with regard to the education Q!
his wife? OF course we know what you will
say about her being supposed to have finished
her education before marriage, and all that
and yet you and we know that she begins as
new an education with him as if she had never
seen the alphabet; His views, feelings; his
ideas, are they nothing to her, ifshe loves him
Years after, when they who know her as a
CIR" come to talk with her as a matron, dc
they not find her husband reflected in every
sentence, either for good or evil?
OF course the more strongly a woman loves,
the more completely is her own identity absorb
ed in her husbands. This is point which is
too much neglected by married men. A good
husband is almost certain to have a good wife
and if she be not so good as he could wish
at the commencement of their married life, he
can soon educate her up to the proper mark.
And, on the other hand he can so educatd her
down as to render his house purgatory, and
perhaps, bring himself and his family the great
est agony and keenest pangs of disgrace which
a husband or children can feel.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-05-28
: VALLEY AGRICULTURAL WARE

mar l2-tf
VALLEY AGRICULTURAL WARE
HOUSE.
we have now opened our new and commodi-
Gus warehouse, (adjoining Mr. A. L. Snoufer S
Grain Warehouse, near the old Depot, where you
can always procure the highest price for all kinds
OF Grain and Flour,) where we will keep an as
sortment OF the latest and mostlmproved patents
of AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS.
The genuine Pitts or Buffalo 17sreshang Ma
chine, which is without rival for strength, dura-
billty and eleganceof fnish and is the latest COM
bined Cleaner in the world. Sizes-4 inch, e
inch, ~ inch, and SO inch cylinders. Parties pur-
chasing should be careful, as to get the right
Machine, as there are so many agents trying to
sell the Machines who know nothing about them,
and cannot furnish any part which may break,
and do not know when the parts are together
and as we have had ten or fifteen years of expe-
| rience in the business, we can fit them out COM
| plete.
| Also, the standard machine the ssBuckeve Reap
er and Moaoer," the only Machine that is adapted
| to the rough surface of the Valley of Va. Fol
simplicity and durability, the world cannot beat
| it as combined Reaper and Mower. They have
no wheels where others have in the drivers
also other advantages over other machines. We
ask nothing except trial, and will satisfy any
| one desiring machine. Persons desiring to pur-
chase machines, referred to the following gen
| tlemen, who used the Buckeye last season:
| Rev. A. Crawford, John Lewis, NJ M. Baker
| Ed. Baker, Capt. John Glaize, Fred. Glaize, r
G. Bywaters, Hiram Adams, z. Silver, F. Silver
III. Seine, D. w. Magruder and G.. Miller Wolfe
Frederick county; Mr.. r. Little, Clarke county
Mr. III. Cagett Hampshire county
| Also the Wuggoaaer Iron Cylinder, Gatdnt
Spring Drill, with Guano attachment, which we
| will offer to the farmers as the leading Drill o.
| the day.
| Cgover Huller combined, best in the world.
| Also, Corn Shelters, Cutting Boxes Ploughs
| Harrows and Churns; in fact, every implement
used by the Farmer and Dairyman
| Seeds of every description can be purchased O.
US Particular attention paid to the sale of the
| best Gaydess SEEDS.
| Castings for Pitts Separator constantly OF
hand We will also fill orders for French Burr.
and NIL Occurring of ali descriptions. ..,
/ WELLER & COLE,
! march 5-6mos Winchester, Va
/ 4 zTENTEsss FARMERS
| "A BURKEs IRON WORKS,
SrAUNToN, VA, Feb. Il 1861
! am still putting up the best
! LIVINGSTON PLOWS
| Nos 4, 5, and g. also, No. Hill side Plows) ev
| er put up III this alley,
NS- / warrant al my Plows. fagN
/ Call and examine before purchasing.
| feb l9--tf W. A. BURKE.
GksEGgEEsssAzs IMPLEMENT
! "a The undersigned, agents for Il NJ. Snlitl
! * Co., Manufacturers at Richmond. can furnish
at short notice. any of the following named arti
/ cles al manufacturers prices. Reapers & Nov
| ers, Grain Drills, Wind Mills, Pitts celebrated
| Threshing Machines, Horse Rakes, new artic
recently patented; corn shelters. cutting boxes
churns scales, hay presses, betting of all kinds
plough castings cider mills, &c.
| nlay1-tf MCCLURE s. BUMG GARDINER
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-05-28

HOOp-SKIfts,
Sheeting, 10-4 wide
Full stock of Brown
and Bleached Cotton,
Linen Table Cloths,
and Towelings,
to be sold at greatly reduced prices having struck
the Northern market just at a time when Goods
had taken a fall of at least 20 per cent.
Being well satisfied that no house in dissection
of the TERRITORY can undersell me, hope my
friends will not fail to give call and examine
my stock, when they will find the above state
ment as have represented. Therefore I cause
my seal to be affixed
SIMON H. HILB, 80
Done at Crawfords Corner, No. /, Staunton,
District No. l, Territory of Virginia, this first
and Sixty-Seven, and in the second year of our
Territorial reign may
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-05-28

To MAKE SALT BUTTER FRESH. Put four
pounds Of salt butter into churn with four
quarts of fresh milk, and small portion of ar
natto. Churn them together, and in about an
hour take out the butter, and treat it exactly as
fresh butter, by washing it in water, and add
ing the customary quantity of salt. This is a
singular experiment. The butter gains about
particular equal to fresh butter. 1t would be
greatly improved by the addition of two or three
ounces of fine sugar, in powder. A common
earthen churn answers the same purpose as a
wooden one, and may be purchased at any china
shop.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-05-28

Slight changes make great differences. Din
ner for nothing is very good fun but you can
say as much of nothing for dinner.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-05-28
SIMON H. HILB, GO


OOCOO! GOODS!!
PRETTY GOODSl
CHEAP GOODS!!
Pouring IN Erery Day Lo,oer all the While
MurderOus Prices can no longer rule
i'm this Country.
There is no use talking about IS cents for bleach
ed Cotton when you can buy better
article for IS to Is cents
Calicos at the reduced figures of r. Is. IS and 20
cents.
Come One, Come All
Ye heads of Families, and Shoe your Children
at the REDUCED PRICES of Scots to 81 60
Ladies Shoes at all Pricesl
White Goods Wonderfully Lowll
Goods Must be Sold !!
Paper Collars at 10 cts. per box; every one can
wear clean collars
NOTIONS of every description alarmingly
Cheap.
Ribbons, 10 to 60. cents per yard
Dress Buttons, 10 cents;
Hoop Skirts, IS cents
STRANGE BUT TRUEl
"A Brown Cotton, 20 Gents; Ga Sheeting, best
quality, Is cents.
Va All Goods sold in proportion to tbs above
LARGE LOT OF DRESS GOODS.
At lower figures than they can be bought any
where else in this market. Ii you don't believe
it come and see.
ny Fall IN with the crowd and save al least
half your money, at G. n Williams old stand, 2
doors East of the First National Bank, and oppo-
site Woods & Glkeson's.
may S. N. GILES 81 Co
4 MOTHER LARGE SUPPLY OF
N SPRING AND SUMMER
Dry Goods, Notions, Boots, Shoes, &c.
We wish to inform our friends and the public
that we have just returned from the Monumental
City with another supply of
LADIES AND GENTS DRESS GOODS,
the most beautiful and fashionable styles which
will be sold at
VERY LOW PRICES.
Our stock is now the largest in this market and
has been selected With great and with special
reference to the wants ofthe community. Itcon-
sists, in part, of p
Cloths, Cotton Cloths, Umbrellas,
Cassimeres, Hats, Hoop Skirts,
Cassinets, Boots, Notions, 4 s.
Calico, Shoes, Fancy Articles
Mouslins Parasols Trunks, &C.,
Ginghams, Alpacas,
and, in short, every article necessary to make up
A FULL s. COMPLETE ASSORTMENT
of all styles and kinds of goods kept in first
class dry goods establishment.
As to the price, style and quality of our goods
we defy competition. We will sell our stock at
prices which cannot fail to satisfy all.
Vs. The special attention of the ladies is invi-
ted to our increased stock. Come and examine
it and satisfy yourselves. Call Immediately.
mav7 .4. l. WITTY e. BRO
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-05-28

e Mary had a little lamb,
gS He could a tale unfold
R He had no teeth to eat hoecake,
And his spectacles were gold.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-05-28

CHOvELS AND FORKS, and. other
y Hardw for FARMERS USE. Also SUI
perior kip horse collars very low by ts
NAV IL BAKER BROS
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-05-28
-D3'9tqS d Medicines.

DTltgS &c WGU1CZ1l6S.
lust RECEIVED.-Af fresh stock of Pure
% and Genuine Drugs and Medicines, and a
fine assortment of Fancy Soaps and Perfumery
for sale by YEAKLE s. YOUNG.
may 21-tf
nRUGS, MEDICINES, &C.
IL p. III. & E. S. TROUT,
Medicines Paints,
Dye Stufs, Fancy Articles,
Coal Oil and Lamps,
Window Glass of all Sizes
2i-3st. Surgical Instruments.
Ms- Physicians orders filed with the purest
and reshest medicines and at city retail prices
Ns- Prescriptions are compounded only by
experienced Pharmaceutists at all hours, day and
night, ap9-tf
NON-EXPLOSIVE COAL OIL-THE
~ only article that can be used with safety
- : 'n' 'n's'' + Bfi f. & E. S. TRours
ap 9-tf Drug Store.
HENAEL'S JUMPER OIL-The best
Ill Horse Lir.ament. For sale by
jan y DR.. H. S. EICHELBERGER.
INSEED OIL, COAL OIL, and the best
Ia Machine and Harness Oil, for sale at
DR.. EICHELBERGER'S
Jan Y Drug Store.
COUGH SYRUP certain cure for Colds
" and Cough. For sale by
jan p Dr. H. S. EICHELBERGER
and others wishing Medi-
u cines. will find it to their interest to call at
DR.. EICHELBERGER'S
Jan ZA Drug Store.
Fresh GN7'CJe31 Seeds.
t'ts i----------
ErRESH GARDEN SEEDS & ONION
IL SETS, just received and for sale at
-i,3#ft& ,Dr iETGHETR EPNEp,c
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-05-28

A CALIFORNIA story tells of a man who re-
solved to quit drinking and went to notary
to get him to draw up an affidavit to that effect
The document was drawn, read and proved !;
the party held up his hand and murmured the
usual ''s'elp me. 1t was properly sealed and
delivered. what to pay?" asked the pledg-
er. TO pay, to pay?" exclaimed the party !;
nothing, of course, this is labor of love. -
Nothing to pay?" returned the grateful but
very forgetful affant "You' re brick. Let's
take a drink -
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-05-28

90 Lovers of Gentle Consorts,
Mg- Wives and Children,
rs Right Minded Brothers,
gg- Devoted Sisters,
w- Fond Grandpapas,
ms- Childspoiling Grandmammas,
gy~ Maiden Aunties,
g- Expectant Nieces,
w- Hairbrained Nephews,
re- Radicals of all Colors
will find it to their advantage to call on the I'M
dersigned and Buy their Goods at the
Cheapest Store IN the Terratoryi
S. I'll. HlLB,
may7-tf Crawford's Corner No l.
NEW SPRING & SUMMER GOODS
IN AT VIM. M. POOLE'o.
am now receiving large and very select as
spring and Summer Dry Goods.
Notions, &C.,
which were bought on the most favorable terms,
and am therefore prepared to offer such induce
ments as will insure sales.
My stock is complete embracing everything in
the dry goods line, together with nice selection
of NOTIONS, BOOTS. SHOES s. HATS.
The especial attention of the ladies is invited to
my varied assortment of
RARE AND BEAUTIFUL DRESS GOODS.
| may 7V&Vcopy W. M POOLE.
nRY GOODS, GROCERIES, VAKI-
~ ETIES, &o.--The undersigned would res
pectfully inform his friends and the public shat
he has just received good supply of
Spring and Summer D1y Goods,
and will make such additions TO his stock as the
demand may justify. His stock consists Of a gem
eral variety OF fancy dress goods for ladies and
goods and fancy articles. He feels assured that
he can sell goods as cheap AS the cheapest and
respectfully solicits The patronage of his friends
IN may TT B, F. MARKWooD
NEW SPRING GOODS. We are just
~ receiving large stock OF Fresh Goods suit
able to the present and approaching season, en-
bracing all the newest styles, in great variety.
In making the present purchase we had the
advantage Of first choice in the new goods, both
foreign and American that are in market
Styles are pretty and prices reasonable.
All those in debt to us, will please oblige us by
paying. va We are in earnest.
mar l9-tf KAYsER s. YOUNG.
NEW AND CHEAP GOODS.
5000 YARDS FRESH SPRING PRINTS,
at II, Is, Is and 20 cents,
with full line of Dress and other Goods, at
reduced prices, just opened by
mar I9-f KAYSER d YOUNG
NEW GOODSy NEW GOODS =
IN A large stock Of
DRY GOODS AND GROCERIES
arriving daily, and to be sold very cheap, by
may7-H BAKER BROS.
lust RECEIVED.-8-4B Black and White
81 Berages, Black Dress Silks, &C.. at
w. M. POOLE'S.
may 14-V and ' copy
DLACK AND COLORED MACHINE
I'D SILK for sale by VIM. NJ. POOLE.
oct Soft and V copy.
NOR THE LADIES. French Lanoes.
IL in great variety, just received at
may7- f2 w. M. POOLES.
T INEN LAWNS-white and colored- just
II received at -
may W. NJ. POOLES.
TACONET LAWNS and French Cambrics,
81 just received at
may I W. M. POOLE's.
DLEACHED AND BROWN Domestics
I'D and Drills, just received at
may7-E W. NJ POOLE'S.
luck COATINGS AND DRILLS,
IL just received by W. M. POOLE.
may " and w copy le - =.
nnAn YARDS A BROWN COTTON
IUSJV and Osnaburgs just received BY
oct 9-tf HOGE u MASON.
NOTTON YARNS, at reduced prices, at
may14 PIPER, DRAKE q cos.