The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1867-01-01
JOHN BARLEYCORN.
How n California senator Prepared
himself for n Great speech.
Washington Correspondent Cincinnati C0ns-


Himself for n Great speech.
mercidI
Writing of speeches and the manner
in which they are prepared and deliv-'
cred, reminds me of an occurrence of
last summer, which is part of the
history ofthe "great debate" on recon
struction, and is worthy the dignity of
print. We all remember what per-
feet ocean Of oratory Inundated the
Senate from January to July of last
session. Speeches of less than two
days endurance were the exceptions,
and they occurred rarely. To adjourn
in the middle of a ream OF some honor
able Senator's foolscap was the general
rule. 1t got to be contagious after a
while-this thing of speech making; or
else an oratOrical tarantula seemed to
have bitten the entire Senate, and un-
tied all tongues if it didn't undeaf all
ears. Among others who were afflicted
with the cuc0ethes LOQueadi, which, in
the Senate, is but the result of pre-
vious attack, of the cdcOetheS ScribeIl0li,
was the honorable and eccentric Sena-
tor from California, Mr.. McDougal.
He had been on what in common par
lance is known as spree, but what in
Congress is euphemetically termed
an indisposition, for several months,
in fact hadn't been "off" of it
in the memory ofhis brethren in states
manship. He suddenly conceived the
idea that he must give his views on the
great question pending before Congress.
Like many other bacchanalinn veter-
ans, he knew very well his own weak
ness, and was conscious of the active
form it had taken lately. In fact, he
said to u friend that he had been as
drunk as damnatioE for a long time,
and that he couldn't make a speech un>
less he was sobered of somehow or 9TH
er. The friend happened to be SYM
pathetic SOUL disposed to gently scan
his brother man, on general principles,
but especially to give helping hand to
his erring senatorial brother, in this
particular. "We'Il fix it," said he. at
you'll come with me, I'll get you
straight as parson in two days" The
Senator acquiesced, went with his
friend, and the SOLDERING process conf
menced. 1t consisted of close confne-
ment in a bedroom, and diet of soda
water, vinegar pickles, and light Cruel
for thirty-si1 hours, at the end of which
time the Senator was fit to preach a fu-
neral sermon or to sit on the supreme
bench. The next thing was to get him
''crammed" on reconstruction. His
ideas were rolling about loosely in his
head, and positively refused to settle on
the terms to which his stomach had
succumbed. After thinking the mat
best plan was 10 get quiet room in
BIadensburg, seven miles distant, where
he might enjoy a sort of "maiden med
itation, fancy Free" for few days, at
the end of which time he promised to
appear in the Senate, loaded and primed
with II three hours speech. He must,
however, have some books from the
Congressional Library, and a scribe to
make notes for him also il was agreed
that n little wine to steady his waver-
ing nerves would be good. All these
We're furnished-the scribe, the books,
and whole basket of wine, and to-
gether with the Senator were sent TO
Biadensburgh in a carriage. One day
passed-two days-a week, and no news
from the Senator or his speech. The
kind friend to whose assistance so much
was due, finally concluded he had bet
ter go to Bladensburgh to see how the
Senator was progressing in the work OF
collecting his thoughts on reconstruc-
tion. Arriving in that quiet village,
he made various inquiries as to the
whereabouts of the California states
man, but he could hear nothing. There
hadn't been u Senator there at all-the
good country folks were certain of that.
At last, in response to some pretty
sharp crosS-questIoning, an old farmer
said he was certain there was no Sena-
tor in the village; there was, however,
| a couple of very badly behaved strang-
ers in a house over yonder; they had
come from Washington a few days ago
and had taken lodgings with a widow
lady over there, but had got into a
l.drnnken quarrel the day after they came,
had had very ugly fight, threatened
to put the woman out of her own house
| and wound up by beating one anoth-
er so badly that if the neighbors
hadn't been called in they'd have
killed each other. They were now
pretty bad off, in bed, both under the
doctors treatment, Nothing further
was needed to convince What he
was on the track of his Senatorial
friend, who, far from steadying his
nerves on the wine he had sent him
had got tight as a fiddler on it, and
made the scribe tight too. And SO il
| proved; over at the widows house was
the Senator and scribe in a badly de,
| moraliZed cOnditiou-both recovering
from sad debauch, in which the ser.
want had so far forgotten his dutv to his
| master as to black his eyes, and the
master had so far descended from the
dignity of an employer as to indulge in
a rough and tumble fight with the ser.
| want. The widow had bill of dam.
ages against the fractious pair for Il
broken lOoking-glaSs and few dislo.
| Gated chairs, but more anxious even
than for the liquidation of her claim
was she that the nasty beasts" should
be taken away from her house. In vain
was she told that the guest was Sena-
tor of the United States. She knew
better than that. Senators didn't gel
drunk and scare innocent women al.
most to death. He was nothing but q
drunken loafer, and she hoped nevert tC
| look on his like again. The errinp
Senator and his scribe were conducted
back to Washington, and the work o.
soldering Off the former for n speech
was abandoned as hopeless-anda great
and contemplated Grafton remains tc
this day undelivered. 80.