Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1867-08-07
CURIOUS ANTICS OF MRS. SCRUG-
GINS cow.


lived in Cincinnatter. And, oh massy
sich cowl She used to come up as reg
lar to her milk as clock.work. Shed
knock the gate with her horns Jest as
sensible as any other human critter. Her
name was Rose. / never knowed how
she got that name. for she was black as a
kittle. Well, one day Rose got sick and
wouldn't eat nothin, poor thingl and a
day or two arter she died; I rally do be-
believe cried when that poor critter was
gone. Well, we went little spell with
out COW; but l told Mr.. Scriggins it
wouldn't do no way nor no how, for have
another cow we must: and he gin in
Whenever I SAID must, Mr.. Scruggins
knowed I meant it. Well, few days ar
ter be cum home with the finest cow and
young calf you ever seed. He gin thirty
dollars for her and the calf. and two levies
to man to help bring her hum. Well,
they driv her into the back yard, and Mr..
Scruggins told me to cum out and see her,
and | did; AID went up to her Jest as
used to did to Rose; and when l said
Poor Sukey,' would you believe it, she
kicked me right in the fore part of the
back. Her foot cotched into my dress,
bran new dress tue, cost two levies yard,
and she took levy's worth right out, jest
as clean as the back of my hand. screach-
ed right on, and Mr.. Scruggins co'ched
me as was droppin-I wasn't quite as
heavy then as am now-and he carried
me to the door, and | went in and sot
down. | felt kind O faintish, was so
'bominably skcered. Mr.. Scruggins said
he'd larn her better manners, so he picked
up the poker and went out. But hadn't
hardly begun to git little strengthened
up, afore in rushed my dear husband, -four
ishlng the poker, and that vicious cow ar
ter him, with her head down and tail up,
like all mad. Mr.. Scruggins jumped into
the room and afore he had time to turn
round and shut the door, that desp'rate
cow was in tue. Mr.. Scruggins got up on
the dining table, and run into the parlor.
| thought I'd be safe there, but was
skeered so bad that l forgot to shet the
door. and, after hooking over the din
ing table and rolling Mr.. Scruggins of, in
she walked into the parlor, shaking her
head. Jest as much as to say. '1ll give
you touch now" inmred on cnalr,
but thinking that want high enough, ] got
one foot on the brass knob of the Franklin
stove, and put the other on the mantle
piece. You ought to have seen that cow
in our parlor. She looked all round as if
she was 'mazed. At last she looked into
the looking glass, and thought she see an
other cow exhibiting passion, like herself.
She shuck her head and paved the carpet,
and SO did her reflection, and, would you
believe it; the awful brute went right into
my looking-glass Well, then / boo-ood
right ont. | 'spose she thought she heard
her calf, for she poked her head into Mr..
Scruggins' book case-no doubt she smelt
the calfskin covers. All this time l was
Citing agonized. The brass knob on the
stove got so hot that had TO sit on the
narrow mantle-piece and hold ON to moth
in. I dassint move, for fear I'd slip off.
Mr. Scruggins come round to the front
door, but i: was locked, and then he cum
to the window and opened it. / jumped
down and run for the window, and hadn't
more than got my head out afore heard
that critter comm arter me, Gracious,
but was in a hurry. More haste less
speed, always for the more tried to
climb quick, the longer it took me; and,
would you believe it just as l got ready
to jump down, that brute of cow cotch-
ed me behind, and turned me clean over
and over and over clean out of the win
dow. Well, when got right side, las
they put looking glass boxes,) / looked up
to the window, and there stood that cow,
with her head between the red and white
curtains, and with another piece Of my
dress dangling on her horns. Well, hus-
band and me was jest starting for the little
alley that run alongside of the house,
when that cow gin bawl, and out of the
window she come, whiskin' her tail about.
1t cotched on fire in the Franklin stove,
and it served her right. Mr.. Scruggins
and me run into the ally in such haste we
got wedged fast. Husband tried to get
3 head, but I'd been in the rear long enough
ard | wouldn't let him. And, would you
believe it2 that dreadful cow no sooner
seen US in the alley, when she made a
dash. But, thank goodness, she stuck fast
tue. Husband tried the gate, but that
was fast, and there was nobody inside the
house to open it. Mr.. Scruggins wanted
to climb over and unbolt it, but | wouldn't
let him. wasn't going to be left alone
agin with that desp'rate cow. if she was
fast !; and made him help me over the
gate. Ah, dear climbing high gate,
when you are skeered by cow, is dread
full thing, and I know it! Well, / got
over, let husband in, and then it took him
and me, and four other neighbors, to git
that dreadful critter out OF the alley
She beloved and kicked, and her calf bel
lowed to her, and she bawled back again !;
but we got her out at last, and sich time,
ah dear ...., .4........ ... ...r.
81 had enough of her. Husband sold
her for $40 the next day. 1t cost him sew
en.y cents to git her to market; and when
he tried to pass one of the S5 bills he got,
would you believe it? the nasty rag was a
counterfeit. MIR. Scruggins said to his dy.
ing day that he believed the brother Of the
man that sold him that cow bought it back
auain I heliave IL helned IN WORRY INV