davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1867-05-30
Josh Billings on Linck-Pins.

/ want to bet three dollars no man ever
matched himself agin the devil but what
he got beat. .-, cd 10. r..
Aim hi, if you strike low. The man who
undertakes tew jump three hundred and
seventy-fiye feet ahed will certainly make
agood try.
never knu man who was alwus anx-
ious tew repent of his sins. before he had
committed them who didn't want the
sharpest kind of watching
never bet emmy stamps on the man who
is always telling what he would have did if
he had been thare. Ihave notised that this
kind never got thare. T pr-y.:
. Faith don't appear to me tew be emmy
thing more than tip-top good sense and
the faith there is in this world now won't
keep man from falling to the bottom of
well if he lets go Nv the curb to spit on his
hands. -, ~fl
When get to not having any good luck,
it doz seem to me that kan have more of
it than emmy man l ever knew, and not half
try; | suppose it seems jist so to you, my
friend, don't it2 7tl*a ..t!, iSnd -
kant think ov emmy talent now that il
so apt to descend from father to son unfair
nished as the gift ov exaggeration.
A man may have perfek right to be
born single, but dought whether he has
a right to continue on so.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1867-05-30

The following passage in Col. Bakers
new book, gives his statement of the final
disposition of Booths body:
In order to establish the identity of the
body of the assassin beyond all question,
the Secretary of War directed me to sum-
mon number of witnesses residing in the
city OF Washington, who had previously
known the murderer Some two years
previous to the assassination Of the Presi
dent, Booth had had tunaor or cGrbuncle
cut from hfs neck by surgeon. On in
quiry ascertained that DR.. May a well
known and very skillful surgeon of TWEEN
ty live years practice in Washington had
performed the operation.
Accordingly, called on DR.. May, who,
before seeing the body infinitely described
the exact locality of the tumor, the nature
and date OF the operation, etc. After be-
ing sworn he pointed to the scar in the
neck, which was then plainly visible. Five
other witnesses were examined, all of
whom had knew the assassin intimately for
years. The various newspaper accounts,
referring to the mutilation of Booths body,
are equally absurd Gen. Barnes, Surgeon
General U. S. A., was on board the gun
boat whero the post norton examination
wac Lulu, Wib1 Illo stSoiStttntS 0SuCIdl
Barnes cut from Booths neck about two
inches of the spinal column through
which the ball had passed this piece of
bone, which is now on exhibition in the
Government Medical Meseum in Washing
ton, is the only relic of the assassin's body
above the ground, and this is the only mu.
tilation of the body that ever occurred.
Immediately after the conclusion of the
examination, the Secretary of War gave,
orders as to the disposition of the body,
which had become very offensive, owing
to the condition in which it had remained
after death the leg broken in jumping
from the box to the stage, was much dis
cOlored and swollen, the blood from the
wound having saturated his under cloth
ing. With the assistance of Lieut.. L.. G.
Baker, took the body from the gunboat
direct to the old Penitentiary, adjoining
the old Arsenal grounds. The building
had not been used as prison for some
years previously. The Ordnance Depart
ment had filled the ground cells with fixed
ammunition-One of the largest Of these
cells was selected as the burial place of
Booth-the ammunition was removed, a
large flat stone lifted from its place, and
rude grave dug; the body was dropped in,
the grave filled up, the stone replaced, and
there rests to this hour all that remains of
John Wilkes Booth 'i. .-. r
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1867-05-30
Beauties of Specializing.
The Chicago Tribune says:


Every day Change is crowded with
strange faces, all anxiously watching the
rise and fall Of values in the various
"rings," and consulting with their brokers
as to the prospect for ''seller," or buyer
next week" or buyer ten after Tuesday"
These strangers are mostly from the coun-
try-the interior towns of this State, and
Indiana-and labor under the hallucina-
ton that to be Chicago Spectator is
synonymous with walloWing in untold
wealth. These gentry come here with a
carpet bag and draft for few hundred
dollars, to be put up as margins, and after
making the acquaintance of some broker
or commission merchant, rush wildly in
where angels fear to tread" with the an
ticipation of bagging enough to pay the
expenses of a trip to Paris, or purchase
villa on the Hudson. Sometimes they
make a few hundreds, and again they
pass in their chips lin the event of the
latter contingency, they take the first train
home, leaving their carpet bags as collat-
erals for unpaid hotel bills. These indi-
viduals would be of more benefit to society
and more to themselves, if they would
eschew operating on change and de-
vote their time and means to a,legitimate
business, which if closely attended to and
conducted soundly, can never fail to result
In a handsome competency. Specializing
IN Grain is hazardous business, as much
20 as gambling on the green" and equally
fascinating. Those who are engaged in it
IAN never be weaned from it, but to those
Who contemplate "taking fever" we
would say, Don't do it.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1867-05-30
A Two Forty IAN HOUR Train.

A friend, says the Sacramento Record
tells us that few days since he saw and
heard the following +
Scene-Folsom Railroad A passenger
stretched full length upon one of the
benches in the smoking car, with a 'veva-
yam in his mouth
Polite Conductor gathering tickets)-
How are you, Thomas; glad to see YOU !:
seldom catch sight of you on this road.
Passenger (azily blowing out the smoke)
No, John, not often. The fact is when
have business up this way, generally take
a horse and wagon but as am in no hurry
to-day-tlme not of the slightest conse-
quence-I thought might as well use the
cars.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1867-05-30
The East.

Edwin Booth has purchased lot on
Sixth avenue, New York, and intends
erecting the finest theater on the CONT
nent.
President johnson has finally notified
the Masonic Fraternity of Boston that he
cannot accept their invitation to partici-
pate in their approaching celebration.
The Connecticut Legislature is deliber-
ating upon a measure imposing fine of
$50 upon any luckless individual who shall
imbibe at the counter of vender not duly
provided with the necessary license.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1867-05-30
SUMMARY OF TEfE WEEK.
General News.

Witnesses are being summoned by the
Government to attend Surratts trial on
May 9th.
Idaho City, in the far west mining re-
gions, was almost destroyed by fire on the
18th inst.
Several cases Of cholera have recently
occurred at Helena, Arkansas, and consid-
cradle alarm has been excited in the other
river towns.
1t is announced that the Government
will abandon the charge of murder in the
Surratt case, and ask continuance of the
case until another Indictment is found.
The census of 1870 will be taken through
the Internal Revenue Department. The
Department took a census in November
and December last, which showed popu-
lation of 34,505,SS
General Sherman has returned from
Fort Harker, Kansas. He is reported to
have said W" can have an Indian war or
not as we choose. He says parties in Kan
sas desire war, but he Cont think they will
be gratified .-r.5 e--, ..a ..s.
There are now but four American steam
ers carrying the American flag between
this country and Europe, and thirty-two
carrying foreign flags The Postmaster
General has just taken from these four
steamers the right to carry, the mails,
consequently hereafter all our letters
must cross the ocean under a foreign flag.
The Booth diary is published. 1t issin-
ply a defense of his actions. He says,
under date of April 18th and 14th /: d" I'm
til to-day, nothing was ever thought of
sacrificing to our countrys wrongs For
six months we have worked to capture, but
our cause being almost lost, something de-
cisiye and great must be done; but its fail
ure was owing to others.w ho did not strike
for their country with a heart. I struck
boldly, and not as the papers say. l
walked with a firm step through thous
and of his friends, and was stopped, but
pushed on. A Colonel was at his side |
shouted SIC senaper before l fired. In
jumping, broke my leg. 1 passed all his
pickets, rode sixty miles that night with
the bone Of my leg tearing the flesh at
every jump. lean never repent it. Though
we hated to kill, our country owed all her
troubles to him, and God simply made me
the instrument of his punishment. The
country is not april, 1869 what it wasi
This forced Union is not what l have
loved. care not what becomes of me. [
have no desire to outlive my country. This
night, before the deed, 1 wrote a long ar
ticle, left it for one of the editors of the
National IntezIigencer, in which fully set
forth our reasons for our proceedings"
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1867-05-30
FOREIGN Intelligence.


fenced to be hanged.
The Sultan has granted the title of King
to the Viceroy of Egypt. .....
Gable dispatches state that Sir Archibald
Alison, the historian, is dead.
The Fenian prisoner Mcclure, on being
arranged for treason, pleaded guilty.
Colonel Burke, the Fenian, is lying SO
ill in his cell that his life is despaired of.
The Luxembourg question may be re-
garded as definitely settled, Napoleon and
the King of Prussia having signed the
treaty.
In the engagement on the 10Th of April
the Cretans three times repulsed the
enemy, $4,000 strong, and at last routed
them with heavy loss.
Thirteen of the seventeen Fenian pris-
oners confined in Limerick Jail have vol
unteered to inform, and six have been Sc
lected for the purpose.
Russia is gradually encircling the Turkish
provinces with troops. There are 10000
at Sebastopol, which is stronger than ever,
and Odessa is filled with soldiers
The injuries to the new Atlantic cable
will be repaired about the 10Th of June.
Meantime the old cable, which was spliced
last year, does the work perfectly well.
Queen Victoria on the goth inst. laid the
corner stone of the Hall of Arts, in Lon
don. A vast assemblagc was present, and
the ceremonies were of very impressive
character.
A plot to assassinate the King of Prussia
and Bismark has been discovered in Ben
lin. Several arrests have been made, and
it is supposed that the scheme has been
frustrated.
Advices from Hong Kong gives report
that the United States gunboat Ashuelot
had bombarded town in the Island of
Formosa, the natives of which murdered
the shipwreckeu crew Of the bark Rover.
A London despatch by the cable an
nounces that Queen Victoria has issued
her royal pl proclamation, declaring the union
IF the Provinces of Upper and Lower
Canada, Nova Scotia and New Brunswick.
lnder one Government, to be called the
Dominion of Canada. 4"..i}r aE
h"oOi uiophtCHcS NY CTDle SIdIc tudb uOI-
the declaration to the con-
rary, it is thought that the Government
will not execute the sentence of death
passed upon the Fenian prisoners. Per
contra Earl Derby officially states that
jol. Burke, the Fenian, will surely be
Hanged, Notwithstanding the reported |
Of his sentence. @
Advices received from the City of Mexi-
20 to the 9th inst. state that the lombard
nent was still continued The suffering in
he city is represented to have been very
,reat, the supply of water being cut of,
kept such as could be obtained from the
rtesian wells, and provisions being sea rec.
Forced levies of men and money for Gle
ense were being made by the Imperi al
government. The surrender of Queretaro
J again contradicted, though the siege was
I'LL vigorously maintained. Macmillan
represented as DESTROYS of surrenderiDg,
ut was prevented by Mejia and Mlramon,
-ho virtually hold bin prisoner The |
ustrian Minister at Washington has been ;
by his home Government to
tier into negotiations with Jaurez to Sc
Ire the safety of Macmillan in case of
s capture. gHe
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1867-05-30

A NEW HAMPSHIRE farmer found, con-
trary to the usual opinion, that corn from
which the upper part of the stalks had
been cut did better than that which was
cut close to the ground and put in stacks
The theory is that the sun has better
chance TO reach the ears and ripeh them.
A FARMER of three sons and five daugh-
tiers was asked how fnany children he had.
The answer was 81 have three SONS and
they each have five sisters" Mercy"
neplied the interrogation, what family
you must havep'
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1867-05-30
Mark Twain's Last-A PeddIer.
On the Camden and Ann
boy Railroad.

And then, there were the peddlers. !
bought out the popcorn boy to get rid oil
MIN, because was trying to compose q
poem for young LADY, album and did not
want to be disturbed. But he came right
pack with a stock of peanuts. l took a
lew and hurried him away, and he returned
with some ice cream candy. I don't like
ice cream candy and peanuts together, but
l invested at once, because an inspired
rhyme had been borne to me, and wanted
10 set, 1t down before it slipped by me.
Then the scOundrel came back with tobac-
co and cigars, and afterwards with oranges,
imitation ivory baby whistles, fig paste and
apples; and then he went away and was
gone some time, and | was encouraged to
nope the train had run over him. Such
was not the case. He was only keeping
his most malignant outrage for the last
He was getting his literature ready
AND from that time forward that de-
graded youth did nothing but marck from
one car to another, and affiict the passen-
gers with specimen copies of the yilest
blood and thunder romances on earth.
: Llonel Warburton; or the Periurer's
Doom !" Godfrey de Langly, or the Des
perado's Revenge those were some of
his mlldest works, and on their backs were
pictures of stabbing affrays and duels, and
people showing other people down precl-
plces and wretched wood cuts of women
being rescued from terrific perils of all
possible kinds-and they are always women
who were SO criminally homely that any
light minded man would take placid sat
sfactlon in seeing them suffer sudden and
,Ioient death. But that peddler boy ped
lied these atrocious books right along for
hours together, and gave up my poem at
asst, and devoted all my energies to driv.
ng him away, and trying to say things that
would make him unhappy.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1867-05-30

COMEDY OF ERRoRs.-The Toledo Com
nnercial says the following was written by gentle
man from Germany: Won night the other day ven
was bin awake in my Sleep hears something vat
thinks vas not ust right in mine barn. and ust out
shumps to bed, and runs nit the barn out, and ven
vas dare COON sees dat my pig gray iron mare
he vas bin tied luse and run NIT the stable Off and
ever who vii him back bring, ust so much bay him
as vat him customary.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1867-05-30

- A dramatic author once observed
that he knew nothing so terrible as reading his
piece before critical audience. II know but one
more terrible said Compton, the actor, "to be
obliged to cit and hear it,
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1867-05-30

A HORSE CAR INCIDENT.-Edwin Booth
stepped on the foot of Bostonian in horse car,
and caused some very hard swearing. Bnt when
swore that Booth might stand on his foot all the
way home If he wanted to!' This is one OF the
strongest, If not most elegant compliments ever
paid to genius,
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1867-05-30
Selected Wistella'lg'
lay.

.-ro xor1cs taken of anonymous comm1n l,
.,.r",,s.s abonId be written one side only
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1867-05-30

her nor spoke word to her in nv life.
Distance lends enchantment to the view,
especially when it is babies that you are
looking at. had all the comfort and none
of the trouble.
"They had many ups and downs, He and
She, and all the usual family dispensatons !:
measles, scarlet-fever, chieken-pox, scarlet
ina, vaccination, teething, and Godfrey's
Cordial. had only to look at them at
distance, and to say to myself, Well, Miss,
| aren't you glad that you are Miss still, and
were never misled into Mrs?' 1t is won
derful how easy body can take things
that happen to other people"
81 should have been so mad," said Jeru-
sha, "that never would have looked at
nor spoken to them"
How do you know that 1 did speak to
them?" asked Aunt Clara. "And as to
not looking, who would be such fool as
to quarrel with her own eyesight It all
was to be, or it wouldn't have been. was
not going to make myself ridiculous by
taking on.
after while died-I mean She died
IN earnest, and | by proxy. 1t was start
ling, tellyo Thought to myself, where
would you be now, Miss Clara, if He had
kept his word? 1t brought death to me in
a realizing sense, girls. knew was alive,
and yet it seemed to me as if was going
to my own funeral"
81 wouldn't have stirred step nor teched
to go!' exclaimed my sister, in fierce in
dgnation.
"Softly, child" said Aunt Clara. "You
must look over your grammar. Seems to
me your photography, etymology, syntax
and prosody are all amiss in that speech.
and your temper besides Everybody goes
to funerals in the country now, and more
than everybody used to go then for some
how death puts every person on level,
and that all anger and malice and evil
thoughts are to be buried in the grave.
Well 1t did seem strange to me to be going
to my own funeral, and stranger still to be j
looking at my motherless child and wild |
owed husband. felt as if were spirit. |
a kind of guardian angel and as such |
shadowy friends can not speak to those
they hover over, neither could 1. By-and |
by the child died"
" You didn't go to her funerals" ex-
claimed.
Not to my own child's funerals In |
deed | did. And Parson Oliver improved |
the deoth wonderfully He made power
ful appeal, and he was gifted in prayer
when he was younger. l suppose he is
now, too, but then we have got kind of
Ised to him."
What strange life-dream was here I'M
oided to us! We always looked upon
The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1867-11-12
The Land OF Fogs.

Americans will meddle with spelling. They
have WEBSTER On the brain; and they had no
sooner bought out the region offogs and darkness
usually known as Alaska, than they inegotls'
tically dropped the II" and dubbed the new
province Alaska. Little had been known OF
this Alaska,-with the "I,"-cxcept that 1t was
$50 miles long, and 26 miles wide, and had
several active volcanoes; but, when 1t became
the property of tho United STATES, for con-
sideration of as many millions as there are
deadly sins, it was Immediately found to be
@ pluoe of considerable Importance. There
we're Alaskians and anti-Alaskians. Herald
and Trlbuns and Times waged wordy war
but the discussion did good, and some deter
inmate result does seem to have been reached
A reliable gentleman, who came down in the
last ship, says that Alaska is temperate re-
gion, although the natives are addicted to the
use of alcoholic simulants. 1t is warmer there
in the Winter than it is in Southern New York
or Northern Virginia; but the degree OF
warmth depends greatly on the thickness
Of clothing, and the muscular activity of the
daring investigator. The soil is good; fish,
particularly cod, is plentiful; cattle can be
erazed for nine months, and eaten oil the year
round; the trees would be excellent for ship
building, if any ships were wanted larger than
g. ten foot canoe there are many good har-
bors, and no vessels to 60 into them there is
copper and gold, but, happily, no greenbacks
the natives are fierce, warlike, and accustomed
to fighting each other, and will give amusement
to spare MajorGeneral, when the Indian row
is settled, and the bureau-people demand an
other war. In Alaska there are thousands OF
acres of land as we'll adapted to cultivation
and stock-raising as many parts of the New
Eugland States; and the thrioe-happy abo-
rigines have never seen negro.
This is enough. Alaska is mine of wealth.
Future birthplace of hardy seamen, and pres
ent home of seal, whale and walrus. Germ OF
coming empire, from which may one day stretch
the hardy hand that shall sweep out the North
west passage and plant the American flag on
the very tip of the Pole.
The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1867-11-12

the presumption and homestead law and COM
municat1ng to Tho applicant full instructions on
the points o! inquiry presented
~ fatal roncontre occurred at Gordon, Ga, on
Frdav between gentleman named Lampo and
John Tolcr, in which the former was killed by a
nistol-shot at the han Of the latter. Lampe was
shot in the neck, but, Notwithstanding the wound
was mortal, It is said he shot lolor in tho thigh
after he fell. The affair occurred in this way
Lampe slapped To,er's face, who thereupon drow
his repeater ard frod with the resllt above narra-
ted. Toler vas arrested and brought to Macon
The services of Dr. Mettauer was called into requl-
sition for the purpose of extracting the bullet
The wound is dangerous ono and may prooaoy
result in the death Of Toler.
The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1867-11-12

condition than that of the man who knows his
own frailry, and tries to meet it by preaching
that wroag has no scourge, and error no tor
ment.
This last bubble will soon break, but it is
sad and grievou, that it should ever have been
made visible. Only those who are stained by
laults urge the absence of Furnishing arm;
only those who have broken the law proclaim
the penalty intolerable and unjust.
The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1867-11-12
R { w A K DS.

10 lUOO DlkY Was pvrpe .raveo UPON tue noso'
rUA.1. AAiEhs, Ut ranc VLue, ou Av nAe % u
,ou.n .LroAd, tno nguG oi ths SV-u OctN-
VIII uuurr uus pmuvrm su rouuuiug Lei DulI lug aud
pass up tlougn lhe nquvr csr iuto lie uaf-roon'
ausLlacea cvnteut ~ nv uitw.r 1nfee DosIIs o.
hQu0t sud u molry Uo1 ~ ucn>s Wy II iucAes Al
I.~uea ov p Hugcs, lux, p41eeo On u
IuLsiue wIll iigL eVio.vd wi paper n-fne ot e.
Myvrs upon ..p IL large etterS Slo pe1 couiai-
ins iouownS amVun.s: eenoac-s, .o,a25s so eo.a
szU; SlAZo; hairoad ocI,pI, S2U on "a;
amount, SoA25.2k 1ho a.oVu r.waiu Will De psiu
Ior ,uc uet.cuou Oh robbers AN recovery o. Tie
money Or IL proportion 10 'he amount iecVVcrea OF
.oVv " money ls lcuurutd, uLd quesuoLs wIl be
usAGd. POHL NfEHS,
Noyember7 e. BruIrhvillt hoLel, ). c.