The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1867-12-19

ling TO wear trowsers. But you
ehnllnot wear mine. II you 90
fooling around my dry goods, you
will get yourself into trouble; mind
| tell you.
"But, Wiki" >
"Let them alone and be decent
You needn't 60 around Dragging
and thinking I'm proud of you.
I'm mortified half TO death about
your outrageous behavior. You're
enough 10 aggravate plaster of
Paris angel, you are. Why don't
you try to be genteel, and go down
and practice on the front door
steps with a bar of soap and scrub.
bing brush, instead Of bowling a
round the town about women 8
rights, and making a perfectly alb
surd old witch of yourself?"
"Wby, Wilk-"
II expect nothing else but you
will be sporting high hat next,
and trying to part your hair be-
hind what you've got left Of it, at
least"
Wilkins, I'll scratch"
but don't care how much big.
ger fool you make of yourself, only
you're just polluting the minds Of
my offsprings and teaching them
to walk in the road to ruin. It's
too outrageous for anything.
There's Breckenridge Augustus
has been and saved up and bought
a high hat, and he staggers around
under it, looking more like some
old clothes pin with an iron pot
hung on to it, than like the child
of respectable parents. There's
more hat than there is boy, and
the first thing you know, he'll shut
up in it like a telescope and very
likely smother to death, and all
along of your ridiculous tomfool-
cry and neglect of your own off,
spring"
"Wilkins, that is ridiculous"
/ say it's shameful that you
should set such an example to your
children, and stuff such ideas into
llolofernes Montgomery's head (;
and he's ioing his all fired best to
grow - moustache, until it's draw
ing all the strength out of his
scalp, and hia heads getting bald
and he has rubbed his upper lip
with forcing gsalve until it's swolle d
up about the size of five cent loaf
of bread, so that his nose looks like
a hole in his face, and the boy
constitution is undermined for life
It's perfectly outrageous.
"You know that amt so, Mr."
"And I've made up my mind
not to stand it any longer, for
you've even spoiled Mary Jane, so
that she tried to shave herself with
my razor, and IT it had slipped, 1t
would have cut her innocentthroat
if you hadn't taken the edge off
hacking at your abominable corns
and bunions and SO on. And she's
got so stuck up that she has boy
to carry her books to school for
her, and the little scoundrel thinks
he is in love with her, and he
spends his missionary money buy
ing apples for her, and robs the
poor, inoffensive heathen in dis.
tant land, and prepares himself for
a felon S grave, and all because you
neglect your children and join
clubs, and associate with strong
minded old hags, and read essays
a million miles long, and want to
vote, and behave yourself like the
regular slab sided, long necked,
scraggy old woman that you are.
say"
Take that now, and if you come
back here again. I'll be the death
of you" said Mrs. wilkins, as a
dull thud was heard, evidently pro-
ceeding from the contact of Will
kins' physical frame with the floor
In fact, Mrs. Wilkins had kicked
him out of bed.
But they made it up again, for |
heard Wilkins abusing his wife in
the morning, for. starching his
pocket handkerchief so stiff that
he scratched all the skin off his
nose.