Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1867-09-06
) HaugEi-an d. Grow-Faf-itfes.

(which way do you travel from ?"
asked 4. wag Of a crookedbac gentleman. g I
came Straight from Wheeling" was the reply.
: Did you?" said the other; = then you must have
been shockingly warped by the railroad"
jonathan presented himself and his
Intended to the minister for the purpose of being
married. Being questioned if they had been pub
hshed, "oh,. guess So for told it to Uncle Ben,
and he told his wife more n a week ago"
the head "Positively the last
of the Long Skirts this Season." Punch gives the
following . Hostess Oh, how tireso ne Some
body must be standing on my dress Would you
just run down stairs, and see who it is, Mr..
Brown?" ti.. :.s. .,5I; t-f,.
4, "A tour year old urchin at South
Hadley Falls, greeted q cousin who had come from
New York to observe the country through the me-
dunn of a pair of Eyeglasses, with the remark,
"Cousin WILL, your spectacles haven't got any
shafts to them'' 81 7'4
7 During the war, q lady passing from
cot to cot through the wards of a hospital, was
shocked to hear one fellow laugh at her. She
stopped to reprove the iwretched patient "Why
madam, says he, lyon have given me n tract on
the Sin of dancing, when have got both legs shot
,1---A gentleman who entered BARRIERS
shopto get shaved, was recommended by the ope-
, re the Gentleman. Oh. no." insisted the
tonsoral artist Oh, mol am certain, sir, you
could raise a moustache-a light Summer nous
tache Pr 1fJHt %tf@ T7"'N
The Methodist says: " Supposir all
the trails worn this summer at the fashionable wa
tering places were cut off even with the ankles.
how many poor children would they clotheS How
much would women rise in the estimation of meni'
An innocent exchange remarks: Suppose your
aunt was your uncle, what, thenr' .tfraH eHF
IT, The Pella Blade says: Ga Chicago
Runner recently left shirt at one Of the Oska-
loosa Hotels, and wrote to the chambermaid to
forward it to him at this place, upon which she
wrote to him the following reply; hope dear sir
you'll not feel hurt, I'll frankly tell you all about
it; I've made a. shift with your old shirt and you
must make shift without 1t. !" t,f.sf-t.f.,., .rt
=, ---- Judge man by his act ions, poet
by his eye, an idlerby his finger, lawyer by his
leer, player by his strut, boxer by his sinews,
an Ir ishman by his swagger, an Englishman by his
rotund ity, Scotchman by his ehrug, a justice by
ms gteat man an by Gy ms an sul bs
elbow, and woman by her neatness. .ts .44
Il - Somebody says that the best way to
get rid of weeds is to always put your cigar-case
and its contents at the service OF your friends
Jones says that the most effective means he ever
tried was by squeezing the hand OF aplump young
bereayed in black The next day she was In half
mourning, and a second kindly pressure resulted
- A traveller, stepping in at an inn
''Oh,' answered the traveller, "many Of them
have got upon their legs again." ..55aj & OF
9 How 50; has trade got brisk ~
y oh, no !; but many who rode In their coaches
have been obliged to learn to walk,
- "Mary, do you remember the text
this morning r. ! No, papa, can never remember
the text, I've such a bad memory Mary said
her mother, did you notice Sarah Brown ?"l" Oh
yes what fright She had on her last year bon
net done up, a pea green silk, q black lace man
tia brown CATERS, imitation Honiton collar lava
bracelet her old ear-drops, and such FAM Oh,
myi oh, myl' :" Well, my dear, your memory is
improving - -ty t, t.... 4,
NJ RI Formerly. when negroes voted In
New Jersey, candidate sent an old negro preach
er two barrels of nice potatoes. Next meeting
day he exhorted his hearers the duty of voting,
and the difference between whigs,and democrats.
He told the story Of the receipt Of the potatoes,
end added: t'sMy bredren, some tell You to vote
for de Wings, some tell you to vote for de Demo
crafts but tell you to vote where You got de ia
tersinG ,,;,to4l ,f IA yf1YuN II T ,
!, ,-----A good story is told of two young
ladies who We're visiting some friends in the cast
ern part of Maine. One day a young gent took
them out to ride. or course they must make dis
play of their rural knowledge, discussing yoluby
upon various objects as they rode along. Coming
in sight of field in which some grain was IN the
bunch and covered with hay caps, one exclaimed:
%, what funny grave yard ~ to which the other
flock of sheepi"