The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1867-08-30
Our gu Surts.

Good for dislocated linbs-bone.set tea.
Plan, frogs and there will come up GRO,
Gus.
The prc,tiest neck.tie for a lady-ihe
arms Of her baby.
Slight.of.hand performance-the girl who
rejects an offer Of marriage.
Those who always love have not the lei
sure to complain and to be unhappy.
One eye Of tho master sees moro than
four eyes Of the servant
Ladies would make good traders They
never get shaved.
The only shares that are sure to turn up
oil right-plow-sharcs
Why are hot bnckwheat cakes like cat
erpillar' Because they are tho "grub" thai
makes the butterfly.
lie is learned man who understands
one subject, very learned man who I'M
ders,ands two.
We should like to ask the musical instru-
men, dealer who says his ~drums cannot be
beat" whit they are good for.
A man who cannot command his temper,
his attention and his countsnance. should
not think Of being man Of business
What is the difference beteen an auction
and sea-sickness7 One Isl sale Of effects,
the other the effects Of a sail
Said the merchant: "what do the Fe-
mans expect to do with Canada, should
they take it?"
"well," said the Yankee, after little
hesitation. al don't eraes!y kno,e, but il is re-
ported that they ara going to give il to the
United States for tiro ron-elads and a rauL'''
A public speaker should never lose sight
Of the thread of his discourse like busy
needle, he always should have the thread in
his eye.
An old lady, being asked to subscribe for
anewspaper declined, on the ground tina,
when she wanted news she manufactured
il herself.
"Doctor, what shall take for the chol-
crap" "The cholera! Have you got the
cholera3" "No.' swell, take the chol-
era first"
An empty bottle must certainly be'a very
dangerous thing, il we may Judge from the
fact that many man has been found dead
with one at his side.
A revengeidl individual sworc he would
have revenge on man who had offended
him. by Jovc," said he, an buy his
little boys each a tin horn"
A man in Turkey has been fined eighty
piastrcs because his daughters discarded
lover committed suicide. That is going tc
the root Of the matter.
Of6l5 young ladies' who tainted las, year
more than onc.hnli Of them fell into the
arms Of gentlemen. Only three had the
misfortune to fall ON the floor.
An Irishman, illustrating the horrors oI
solitary confinement, stated that out Of a
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puni,bmsn, for lie, only fifteen survived \,
Az, L., .,.,, >, L,,,v how >, ,,,,
me-" said vulgar hoy to gentleman he
had insul,ed. ayes do" said the gentle.
man by the nose.'
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aWbv WIN, would M ,be us. of ,no,berr
s,;d ~. ,o.,;,l;o, .sr on. all. or On. horse
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Mamma -"ohar'es' l was very mue'
snockea 70 near you singing r0P s0's VIZ
weasel IN enu'cn, onAf'es- wen
i'"n'na' -" e'O'''"y ".
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by means o, ena',''y 'ne 'ou' o'e"u''s
pure AT 10 ,oo's'' p'.ce' " mea"s .. 0vn'