Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1867-04-25
wit and s HllInOY.

Z. What lady is much talked of? Anne
"a What lady is made to carry burdens?
-, What lady breaches in the pulpit !?
4 What lady does everybody desire?
Ann U. Ity. -..1 s.55 a..,,4
What lady lived in Noah's time?
Ann T. Diluvian. 5'f % >h'' 't
Goi What lady is fond of debate9 Pol
ly Tishun. ,.a..i..... d, :.v ~
What lady paints portraits Min
ME Ture. - 'hd li'u e =
y What lady paints comic portraits?
Carrie K. Ture. :, III, 1..., ..--.,. III
WHAT lady is fond of giving? Jen-
ME Rossity. r'1 E.oHaof7 iHi~oT iii
You can't keep fruits through the
winter unless you can.
WHAT lady is good to eat? Sal
Ladd What lady is good to eat with herr Olive
Oil. r. fI5f..-.-r. ct -,t.5.7-7, =
"a new way to pay old debts"
Stop drinking and go to work.-Stdunton Vargin-
ian. .-:t,.-f, obi ,,5.f; 5.....,- $50 H.
WHY is a prosy preacher like the mid
die of wheels Because the fellows around him
are tired.
Almost every young lady is public
spirited enough to have her fathers house used as
court house. -las 'f... f,:, lg,t. s.e +, t.t.1
.r-" Good blood will always show itself, "
as the old lady said when she was struck by the
redness of her nose. .49aignf. e..Etia =.
WHY does a person who is poorly
lose much of his sense of touch: Because he
doesn't feel well. 1fl ;.u s4Ha1 sd 10 ,at,
why will Russia go under if Russian
America is coded to the United StatesY Because
her Behring's will be gone. .tof Gno $50
ast--" Capital weather, Mr.. Jones, capital
weather. NV wife,s got such q cold abe can't
speak. like such weather."
1T is a great convenience for doc
tor to have two patients in the same street, Sc he
can kill two birds with one stone. fitGc8 tit
A husband, on being told. the other
evening, that his wife had lost her temper said he
was ''glad of 1t, for it was a very bad ONE" .l
IF we were to have two Mayors one
nominate our neighbor of the Democrat for night
Mayor. Louisville journal. b, ,.,.st t-,,.Y -
The excitement of salmon fishing
may be judged from the feelings of the Scot men.
writer. The fisherman while PLAYING a magnif-
cent game salmon, was appraised that his wife, in
the cottage hard by was dying ''Ah,. mon, We
dinna say 3d. Rim back and tell her to hing on till
I've killed the fush." s.t a.<, ia.
Various instances have been cited
to prove how lazy man can be and live but 1t re-
mains for a. Michigander to cap the climax. One
hot day during the heated term last summer, he
.
under the spreading branches of shade tree, and
exclaim emphatically to himself, /" Therei breathe
If you want toll shan't."{ mi axa.tf,... $780,.
In a suit in Georgia, in regard to the
delivery of some corn, freedman gave the follow
ing extensive evidence !: : L know no morn dis.
De pertractors, de commanders and de alleman-
ders sent me on for to anser to the corn. deliy-
cred de corn at Williams stable, and disclaimed-
Here's Maccovey's corn. Dey sent on de answer
all right, and dats all de prefxes of de crcumstan-
ces know'd by de drayman."
The credit system has carried to a
pretty fine point in some districts, if we may judge
from the following dialogue, said to have recently
occurred between customer and the proprietor:
"Haow's trade, square?" .o...,. ~.
o"Wall, cash trades kinder dull naow, major"
Dun anything ter-day!n fti ~ Ji5ai -laI
Pushard has bort an eggs worth of tea, and got
trusted for it till her specked pullet lays.'' q Y
In iovial company, each one asked
q; question. If it was answered he paid forfeit;
Or If he could not answer it himself he paid for
the little ground hog make his hole without show
ing any dirt about the entrance ~ When they all
gave it up, he said, "sure, don't you see. he be-
rest exclaimed: 8 But bow does he get there ~
8 Ahr said Pat, :. that's your question can you
answerit yourselfg'foYy y nj. :; 80. 80,
THE following is said to be, the pri-
yate recipe of a Washoe editor: Take one pint
OF whisky stir it well with one spoonful Of whisky
then take another pint of whisky, beat carefully
with spoon, and Keep pouring in whisky. Fill q
large bowl with water ard make the servants set
it out of your reach. Take email tumbler, pour
in two spoonfuls of water pour out the water, and
fill up with whisky, and add to the above. Flavor
with whisky to your taste,s A dose: three fingers
every half hour"
!, "A young man in Illinois was greatly
smitten with a. neighbours daughter, and wanted
her for his wife. In order to win her unsophisti-
Gated heart he invited her to go with him to a cir
Gus that was showing in the vicinity. She accepte
the invitation, and as they reared the ticket wagon
the young man rushed upon his fate by asking her
suddenly if she would marry him. mo, thank
you,n she replied = You won't, eh? ~ exclaimed
the ardent youth, then buy your own hcketi'
She took his ADVICE and enjoyed the show greatly,
but he didn't. III. $3.50.
Experiments made by Drs Ringer and
Richards on men and animals go, to- show
that the temperature of the body falls rear
ly as fast after the use of alcohol III doses
sufficient to produce intoxication. as after
death itself The facility with which
! drumkards freeze; to death is explained by
this fact. DIR. Jolly declares that an IN
creasing tendency toward mental disease
has been generated by the increasing con-
sumption of spirits Official reports show
that the abuse of alcohol accounts for one
fifth of the insanity in France.