Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1867-11-15
What "a Little BOY Thought About
.-rf-s.,. .sa Things.

i am q little boy about so many years
old don't know whether I'm good little
boy. but I'm afraid not, for l sometimes do
wicked things. and once I;cut sisters kit
tens tail of with a choppin'- knife, and told
herla big dog came along and bit it off. and
swallowed it down before kitty could say
Jack Robinson, and sister said she was sor-
~, and it must have been a very naughty
dog but my mother didn't believe me. and
said she was afraid had told lie, and Pm
afraid L had 80 then she asked me if knew
where liars went to I? and l said yes; tnat
they went to New York and wrote for the
newspapers; she said no-that they went
to the bad place where there was ncahin'
but q lake of fire and brimstun', and she
asked me if would like to go there, and
said no for didn't think there'd be much
skatin' and slidin' on that lake, and the boys
couldn't SNOWFALL each other on the shore,
and she said it was more than. that. just as
il that, wasn't bad enough, for don't think
they can play base ball nuther then she
asked me if wouldn't like to be an angel
arthhsye harp, and | said no; I'd rather
be a stage driver and have big drum, for
T couldn't play on t'other thing
So shouldn't like to be an angel, for their
wings must be in the way when they go 4
swimmin' and play tag and leap-frOg; and
besides it must be hard to fly when one
ain'tvused tcit.D But A. woald bs Jolly 70
touch up the leaders. and say g'lang there,
where are ye.going on!@sI should like that
better'u flyih'. and then mother said there
was "a dreadful stage of sin, and b other
Bob said that he guessed l was on 1t, and
then she whipped us and sent us to bed
without any supper, put ,. aiahG o,h;n, care are
bread and butter for tea, and Bob and got
up and he lifted me in at the pantry win
dow. and we got mince pie and whole
handful of doughnuts and they thought Is
was the cook stole 'em, and sent her away
the next day, and B ID said he was glad Of,
it for she didn't make good pies, and the
doughnuts wasn't fried enough, and some
times do swear, for l said by gOlly, the
other day, and sister heard me, and she told
mother, and mother said l was bad boy
and would bring her gray hairs to the
grave, land she whipped me, but Idon't think
1t done her gray hairs any good, ana It
hurt me- and when got up stairs said
gol darn it, butt said ir so she didn't hear
me, and when she asked me if didn't
think was very wicked said was afraid
/ was, and was sorry for it, and wouldn't
do SO any more, and then she said was
good little boy, and told me about George
Washington who cut down the apple tree,
and was caught at it. and owned up and
said he did it with his little hatchet, just as
though hadn't heard all about it before,
and didn't always think he was a big stupid
for cutting wood when they had hired
hatchet, and besides. it would have been a
greatdeal jollier to have let the tree be so
he could have stole off it in the fall, and |
don't care if he was the Father OF bis coun-
try, he wasn't smart, and I'll bet you the
boys in our school would cheat him out of
could lick him and not hardly try, for
don't think he was very healthy
either, for never saw good lit
tie boy that wasn't always sick and
haddthe mumps and the measles, and the
scarlet fever, and wasn't coughin' all the
tar-water, and couldn't eat cherries, and
didn't have his head patted till all the
hair was rubbed off by every6 body that
came to his mothers and be asked how old
he was, and who died to save sinners, and
what he had been studyin' at school. and
how far he got, and lots OF other conun-
drums, and have to say his catechism, no
Ishouldn't like to be a good little boy. I'D
lust as lief be an angel and be done with it,
out don't think / ever shall be good Ii
tie boy, and other people don't think so too,
for 1 never was called good little boy but
. once, and that when Uncle John asked me
where l stood in my class, and told him
next head, and he said that was right, and
he gave me y quarter, and then asked me
how many boys there were in my class,
and said there was only two, myself and
q little girl, and then he wanted me
~
aud he ran after me and stumbled over a
chair and broke his cane, and hurt himself,
aud he's been lame ever since. and I'm glad
of it for he isn't my father, and hasn't anv
right to lick me, for l get enough of tha,
at home, and the quarter wasn't good one
either. L guess he knows 1t for he says
amt like any of the family, and he expect,
I'll go to sea and be pirate instead of {
respectable member of society, and
shouldn't wonder, for had rather be pi
rate than soap boiler like him, and l don't
care II he is rich, it's nasty business, ant
shan't have to be a pirate either, for one
can make morey without that, and they're
always talking TO me about bein' rich and
respectable, and goin' to Congress, and
bein' President all that sort of thing, but
Idon't want to be President, there's Lin.
coin, he was. President and ! guess he's
sorry for 1t now, and there's Andy John
SON, guess he don't like it much either,
and feIler doesn't have to be respectable
to be Congressman, there's John Morris
sey. he's made money, and he's gone to
Congress, and he has nice curly hair
and nice clothes, and he don't do any work
either. I shouldn't like to be tighter like
r .t,o,,l.lrsf like have nose