Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1867-12-21
A curtain Lecture Concermina ska,ins
"Oh! 60 to sleep, you old fool!'
"Mr. Twain, An surprised and grieved

u Ourtean Lecture COnce rMln4 Skatinx
"Oh! 60 to, sleep, you old foo, r
"Ar. Twain, AN surprised aad qrieved
to
"Do"t interrupt me. woman! toll you
'ts absard-you learn to ska.e! You'll be
wanting to play fairy in the Black Crook :
next. | tell you skating is an ,accompli-h-
meht suited only to youth and grace aud
eoneli"s.s Of face and syms,ry Of figure
Nothing 10 20 charming a. to see beautiful
girl, in the coquetish costume Of tho riuks,
with cheeks rosy with ex.r.iou, and eyes
beau'ng with excitement, skimming the Joe
like = oird-and swooping down upon /.
group Of gentlemen, and pretending she
can't stop herself, and landing in the arms
Of the very young man her father don't allow
hor to tnow-and d.rting away again aud
falling on her head and eapos,ng herself
exposing hsrss!f 70 remarks about her-h.r
earslssssss,- Madam, hold your tongue -
aad always taking care TO fall when tha.
young man i. close by to pick her up l.
il char.ingl They look pretty aud inter
e''ins, too, when they are jus. learning
when they stand still long time ia one
place. and then start one foot out gingerly,
aud it ".kcs break for tue other side OF
the pond aud leaves the balance Of the girl
spsawling on this side. But you! You look
fst and awkward aud dismal enough any
time; but when you are on skates you wad-
die ID - stu6y aud stupid and unRainly as
. buxzard that had half horse fer dinner.
Won't have it, Madam And you ge. under
= little prec.rious headway and then you pu,
your fee, together aud drift, a'ong, STOPPING
your head aud shoa lders aud holding your
arms out like you expected = church was
going to fall O" you It axgrava,es the life
out Of mel And Tuesday, when l was ass
enough to get ON skates myself, aud kicked
the Irish Giants eye out the frst dash, aud
lit on my head and cracked the ice 90 ,b.,
it looked like the sun with all its rays bad
dropped where struck, and they fnhed INT
mne,y-two dollars for rulning the man 5
f'""' was 'e'' ''e' VIZ" '"' co"''e''o'' '""
had gone through to the inside of the
world, because saw the parallels of lati-
tude gllmmerng all around me; and what
""s ~ 'u' !oo' !" your a"7""f'h"sS' 'e'e''-
"S W ''"' "o WV" '''' "''''''"'''n ''''e's
on? fo"'v" got TO discard those ,h:nss
'"" e'a"' '"e Pc" '''''' a"' l "''' l.
"M'. Twain, am >n';.-
"ho'd yoa' elt'r' | I'll Yea 500, >h%"''
bring od'un' hp ''> H.'...% l.. r'.' H.
graceful attempts to skate, or.~"... Al '2:.',
with your ''S t"et h@" 90" t.""''% '"'
way Gown h'1 II s''lp''r ",~.A,r- Ma, b"
~" "o"''" 'S ~ h'Ha) ""7't ".~ '>I'T'"'
these '"'to Ut yours = ''' hn>~ y 80 'r,:
T." ""'n ." -: :...' Cow. = - j. IL
III.
" 's~t vas !. - TIL! '"" " 49, i ~'"@ '.'
''~ what 1t w. .;'a &r"~.> l %'>1 1""~
Il 5 one o' y"'r i'@
"oA: d." ma" i a + r"E Chs
4ntne' Il" 10 @''-r.
'"' !" ID O. consequence pa ~ en' H.
=. - >"" *ha"t aesr'sHie '"e tb'~ way :
""".' % 10 ~'r~p Ill k"o" what 1t was,
'eH y"".
ION! II wasn't a"y'h'ng'
Mr.. 1"a'" know bc''rr' You re JUS
doug this to try 10 drive me to distraction
what did that horr'd thoT"'"ker say ato"'
my shoe! What did BE- dof Say, quick
""e'i, 1t you must know, he-he-ho~
ever its of no ctnsequenee.'
Mr. Twain
""el'' he -ho took II aud raz'd upon it II
long time IN silence, and put his h""dker-
c''e' 10 ''s Ts'' ana ooes' INTO tears.
why 20" nor" 'oo'' l"a'n' are you 60
ing s'"'k' staring crazy
ne Jus. s'ooa there ana "epe as 1t bis
oe"'' "o"'a o'eak' poor oe'''' lnere now
let 50 TO sleep
sleep, you 'o"s'e' III never close my
eyes t''' emo" what that idiot was crying
soout-a"o you Won either can tell you
that. Come
"ob I! It don't natter
"Mr. Twain, II you say that again, I say
III make you sorry for IL; wha. ~a. .hs
numskoll crying abous?'
"Wel. he-hs-'
"W-e-l-l, he. Out with it: do you wan
mo to-to-r~sin, III snatch Them pc,
fringes O6 sill tho sides of your head 10 4.
balc as the top Of it !"
We'll, hs--peor fellow --hs said be dotted
on hie grandnother-f.i.ly dotted on her