Ashtabula weekly telegraph. [volume] (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1853-1873, 1867-07-27

sistance, and wuz Jest about to so declare
when Valandigham, Ben. Wood, Toucey
Morrissey, Vorhees, and score or two
more Nv that kind rushed in and begged
NV EN- to hold out. Why submit {? sed
ValIandigham, we'll sustain yoo. The
| Northern Dimccracy is a giant wich kin
vet perfect 700. He's in his prime and
strong enuff yit to carry yoo throo twice
the troubles wich threatens 700. Depend
onto us-we'll carry yoo. -
And the southners whopped over to
their side and yelled iercely, No submis-
sionl and immejitly the entire billion NV
EN- started North with these men to as
certain the strength and carryin capaci-
ty NV the northern dimocracy. Methot
the party travelled and travelled, until f.
nally they came to q vast plain in Ken
tucky, onto wich wuz extended the form
NV giant. 1t wuz a giant immense in
statoo, but emaciated to the last degree
His limbs he'd been strong, his teeth ter
rible, and his trunk massive, but it wuz
plane to see that he wuz pegged out and
look at its face showed why it wuz So
Dissipation he'd redoost him to helpless
ness. His face wuz bloated and bloc, his
eyes wuz sot and gastly, his chest wuz
holler and sunken, his legs like pipe stems
and ulcers, boils, sores, brooses and con-
tooshens kivered him from head to foot,
and he drawed his breath with an effort.
He lay a groanin and groanin. Ran
dali wuz tenderly. feedin him out NV
bottle labelled "Appintments," wich ap-
peared to give him temporary strength,
but the effect NV that wuz lost, by Pres
ident Johnson's dosin him with an often
siv smellin mixter labelled policy" ev-
cry swaller NV wich wood throw him in
to spasm. Gov. English was rubbin
one arm with a iniment Randall gave
him, and had succeedin in gettin up lit
tie circulation in it.
What is this, asked the Southeners.
Northern Dimocracy sed English rub
bin away vigorously.
Is this the giant witch is to carry us Z?
sed the southern gentlemen, yuin the dis
gustin object doubtfully.
Certinly, sed Johnson, Now cant 700
get up sed he, to the PROSTATE bein,
givin it very large swaller out Nv his
bottle. The giant made an effort, but
Topped down again like dish-rag.
Gentleman, sed Vallandigham, we shell
have. to call upon voo to assist in settin
him onto his feet, and then it'll be all
right with him. He's been this way be-
fore.
Accordingly the Southerners gathered
round him to lift him up. His arms, |
notist, were marked respectfully Connect
icut and Delewear, and his legs Mary
land and Kentucky, and in them there
wuz strength, for ez the innocent south
ners got near enuf' he wrapped them
limbs around EN-, and sed-
Lift
We cant, sed they.
Yoo must, sed he. / hev got into this
condishen fightin yoor battles and doing
yoor work. [ wuz strong and vigorous
until got to runnin after yoor harlots,
and for yoor sake wuz druv out NV my
nativ states into this cussid region. Yoo
must carry me what time hev yit to
live. Hist me
Those caught coodent getaway and
the others generously come to their aid,
and maxim aterrible effort they raised the
half dead bein onto their shoulders, hold
in their noses meanwhile, and prepared
to start. Ez the percession wuz about
to move, Vallandigham remarked, Stop
minute, gentlemen and loaded ez he
wuz with his war record he clambered
up their shoulders and took seat on the
carcass. Voorhees,, jest ez badly encum-
bered, did likewise, and so did the Woods
both NV EN-, and poor old Jimmy Boo
kanan, Seymour, Toucy, and hundred
or so more, the onfortinit bearers swetin
under their addishnel- load.
Is all ready sed they.
One moment, sed johnson, and him
and Randall and Seward climbed up.
This wuz the last feather. The bear
ers might hev staggered off under the
carcass and them wich WIZ onto it first,
but this last addishun to their burden wuz
fritetull--it finished EN-. Groanin under
the weight they swayed like a leaf in the
wind, like a majestic tree jest about to
fall. They struggled mint to maintain
theirselves-but all in vain. A breet
struggle-a desprit gasp-they Civ up,
and, ther knees doublin up, the whole
concern cum to the earth with squshin
sound wich letters can't express, and the
half decomposed mass sorterfell apart
Raymond and Thurlow Weed who he'd
bin hangin round, got out from under Jlst
in time to save themselves.
The southerners got out from under
the putrid. mass, thoo almost smothered
by the stencil. Vallandigham and that
class made light of it, ez they he'd bin
around it. 1t staggered Johnson some,
but he he'd bin accustomed to something
approximatin very closely to it in the old
times and it didn't effect him, but poor
Randall, Seward and Wells were smoth-
cred and died.
wuz tryin to pull Randall's corpse
out. when the effort | wuz maxim awoke
me.
1 aint altogether certain, but that that
dream means somethin. When l think
Nv it, it is rather prepostrous for us to
hope that the Northern Dimocracy will
carry us, when they cant carry single
state NV their own; jist abont ez prepos-
terous ez it is for them to look to us for
help, when all ov us es wood jine EN-
haven't got a vote. Pollock's remark,
''In pullin match a corpse amt Nv much
account eff it is big one,' weighs onto
nv mind. Suthin cant cum out Nv nuth-
in, thoo es in the case of Seword, nothin
may come out somethin. Eff we Good
get-but pshaw! we cant. Thank the