Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1867-04-01
FACET4OUs LETTERS
A Berks county Po..master and H

Berks County Postmaster and His
Opinions.
The following letter was received a short
time since by the Postmaster at Host p. o.,
Berks county, Pa, from a Commercial
Agency in this city: ~ IS = EaLm
Dear iSir:-Will you be so kind as to give
me the names of the business concerns in
your place, with the kind of business they
carry on, on the back of this?
Ii you will do me this favor. will most
cheerfully serve You here, whenever you
may find It convenient to call upon me.
sss' .55 81 Very respectfully yours stg
e Host Postofice, Berks Co., Pa. 9..-as
To which the ifacetious' P. M.gave the
following answer: - .s
-, Mr.. SRI accidentally
came across your request at late date.
We have no business concerns in our neigh
7borhood, we live in the country; are all
farmers, or independent SQuires; we all have
lots of money, and don't think business,
Just now, q healthy avOcation. We are all
good church members, with not a particle
IOfspuri:an faith; say our prayers before GO
ing to bed, i. e. If we are not out too late
playing poker which is only occasional,
always for pastime, and never for the par-
pose of accumulating money.
p Our political faith is in opposition alike
to Yankee or Southern secession. We be-
tlieYe in God sndshate the devilin any shape
or form. We think the Bible and the Con-
'stituti0n, as our forefathers made them,
about the two best books inoexistence. We
revere the wisdom and purity of our good
and great men OF all parties and all sections,
and hate and despise the charIatans. North
or South, East OF. West, who seek to destroy
ohfs Government for self agg randizement.
We love ourselves more than we do the ne
groes. Yet the love we have for them is
sincere. If they pass, our way we give
them food, shelter and raiment, provided
they don't steal. lies want to vote, or marry
aouF daughters. We all think Artemus
Ward greater Snowman than Barnum, and,
his sirWax. hggersY the greatest hUlng eurios-
-ity in the world. We think George Francis
Train the greatest train we ever saw with
out engine, tender or coW-eatcher. We
believe Thad. Stevens and MoIrissey to be
aaifrepresentatives of the next Congress
one being reformed gambler, the other a
practical miscegenatOr. We don't believe
in your city lotteries, gift enterprises. Sol
def Home charities, picture gallery distri-
buttons, &c. They are generally intended
for the: benefit of the ssgetter up" who is
always sure to build a brown-stone palace
after the thing is over. IGis true we our
selves indulge sometimes in pekersseVenup,
eucre. &C.; but those are square games We
fear the Lord, and. do not wish "a brown
stObe palace builto on sand. We do not steal
nor rob. We think ''coal oil" good illu-
minaJor, but despise it as a fertilizer for
soil. brain or pocket. We have large
horses, with big tails and long names, and
think they can go just about as fast as any
of your 'clipped" city nags. We think we
have about the best whisky in the country,
d.e-we cane drink it with aclear conscience,
for we skHosU the tax has been paid on it.
Ourprineipl6 is to support the Government
with deeds, not with s.gas." sfft -.
Finally. we have rich farming coun-
try, lots of limestone, little gold in the
soil, but plenty in our pockets; raise lots of
cereals (no pumpkins, we are opposed to
them, they are of Puritan origin), have fine
c9ws. and make good butter! Our hams
are yed5 and we use no horse flesh in maxi
ngisausagesss Ourcocks can crow as loud
as any body's, our turkeys weigh twenty
FIVE pounds each about Christmas time, our
babies are all cheerful and healthy, our We
men are all pretty, and when we die we all
expect TO go to Heaven. .
i myself am in the mercantile business,
not for gain, merely for the accommodation
of the peighborhood., Albert Yosts is a
wooden manufacturer, which ne carries on
under the same benevolent principles.
There are no other business men who use
our P. o. address. Trusting my intorma-
tion will prove satisfactory, although at a
late datese7 no sss s5}t 30 seio fej, 3i = -
1 remain yours, with much respect, %.