The weekly Ottumwa courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1857-1872, 1867-07-04
GET MARRIED
By DOW, JR.

i BIZ DOW, JR.
Young man, if you have arrived at
the right point in life for it, let ev.
cry other consideration give way to
that Of getting married. Don't thir k
Of anything else. Keep poking about
among the rubbish of the world, till
You have stirred up a gem worth
possessing in the shape Of a wife,
Never think of delaying the matter ;
for you know that delays are danger
GUS. A good wife is tho most con-
slant aud faithful companionyou can
have by your side, while performing
the journey of life-a dog isn't a
touch to her. She is Of more service
too, than you at first imagine. She
can smoothe your linen and your
cares for you-mend your trousers,
and perchance yourmanners-sweet-
en- your sour moments as your tea
and coffee for vou-ruffie. perhaps
your shirt bosom, but not your tenn
per; and, instead of sowing the seeds
OF sorrow in your path, she will sew
buttons on your shirts ord -. ''"P
pinass- ss--;..-ssau OF harrow teeth in
| your bosom. Yes-and if you are
ltoo confoundedly lazysor too proud
to do such work yourself she will
chop wood, and dig potatoes for din
ner; for her love for her husband is
such, that she will do anything to
please him, except receive company
in her every day clothes.
When a woman loves, she loves
with double distilled devotedness;
and when she hates, it is ON the high
pressure principle. Her love is as
deep IS the ocean, and strong as u
hempen halter; and as immutible as
the rock Of ages. She won't change
except it is in a fit Of jealousy; and
even then it fingers as il 10th to dc
part, like evening twilight at the
gates OF the West. Get married bv
all means. All the excuses you can
fish up against doing the deed" !"
amt worth a spoonful of pigeons
milk. Mark this-if blest with
health and employment you are not
able to support wife, depend upon
it You are not capable of supporting
yourself. Therefore, so much the
more need of annexation for in un-
ion, as well as in onions, there is
strength. Get married, / repeat
young man: Concentrate your aft
ections on some object and not dis
tribute them, crumb by crumb, among
a hosts of Susans, Elias, Betsies,
Peggies, Mary James and Dorothies
allowing each scarcely enough to
nibble at Get married and have
Somebody to cheer you on your jour-
ney through this lowly vale Of
tears somebody to scour up your
whole life, and whatever linen you
may possess, in some sort Of Sunday
go to meeting.
Young woman! / need not tell
you to be looking out for a husband,
for | know that you are fixing con-
trivances to catch one; and are as
NATURALLY on the watch as cat is for
mouse. But one word in your ear
if you please. Don't bait your hook
with an artificial fly of beauty; if
you do, the chances are ten to one
that you will catch agudgeon-some
SILLY fool Of a fish that isn't worth his
weight in saw dust. Array the In
lner lady with beautiful garments Of
virtue, truth, morality, aud unso,
! phisticated love, and you will dispose
Of yourself quicker, and to much bet
ter advantage than you will by dis
play ing all the gewgaws, fippejigs,
foEde-Yols and fiddle-dc.dees in the
1 universe. Remember that it is an
awful thing to live and die self
manufactured old maid.
My yhearers-get married while you
are Young; and then when the frosts
Of age shall fall and wither and the
flowers Of affection, the leaves efcon-
numbial love will still be green and
iperchance a joyous offspring will sur.
round and grace the patcrnal tree,
ivy twining and adoa'ing the time
scathcd oak.
| While the Wemen's Rights Con
venticn was in session in Albany, q
horse car was crowded. There en-
tered severe looking female An
. old gent rosc to give her a seat.
ssBe You one of these women right.
crsg" he asked.
1 Il be-" replied the ancient.
seYoA believe q woman should have
all the right efa man, do your"
| Yes, sir, l do" was tho emphatic
4 arswer. M
"Then,' said the man, ''stand VI
and enjoy them like man." and shs
had to stand up.
4 In building y chimney put guam
! tity OF salt Into the mortar will
|, which the intercourseso Of brick are L
be laid. Tho effect viii be that ther,
will ncverbe any accumulation OF 500
.|in that chimney. The philosophy i
4 thus stated The salt in the portiol
Of mortar which is. exposed absorb
! poisture every damp day. The 500
] thus becoming damp; falls down int
j the fireplace.