St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1867-12-13
About Presents.

NkAAlb tlScSAAe ARaS hSCOUle mailer
of no small importance in our dav, when
Christmas, New Years, birthdays. mar
riases, wooden, TIN and silver weddings
follow each other so rapidly, and II is ex-
pected that each should be marked ly
suitable offerings But in order that n
gift have any real value for the receiver
II must be spontaneous, and the offspring
OF affection and sentiment Without
tlls, II may be charity, or the payment
OF debt, or an ostentatious display Of
wealth, but not true gift, in the best
sense Of the word. But how l. il actu-
ally ? Are the majority Of gifts sponta-
neous, or gwen because they are expect
ed, and we shall be considered mean II
We DO not make them Let the reader
answer
Twenty years ago presents were rare
ly made in New England on the occasions
spoken Of, but the custom having heen
introduced, we have gone into il, As INTO
everything else, with rush, and carried
if 10 a ridiculous excess, I'LL II has really
become burden and annoyanl- TO all
concerned Especially Is this true Of
wedding presents How people of small
means tremble in their shoes when they
hear Of friends engagement. and how
often we hear them say, $50 and SO Is
going 10 be married i must give her
something-something handsome, too, or
they'l II think I'm mean and stingy :" or,
"When LOttie was married she gave her
set of elegant silver forks, and l musn't
give anything less costly, though. really,
L don't know how 10 make the OUTLAY
Just now" And there Is great racking Of
brains, and great racing TO and fro 10
find something suitable, and very often
more money is expended than the donor
ought TO part with and why because
he loves the bride SO dearly All, no,
but because he hasn't independence
enough TO brave public opinion; for he
knows his gift viii 60 to make up the
grand display, and be commented on by
the dear five hundred friends to whom
they will be shown.
On the other side, 4 delicate-minded
bride IS often troubled 10y the amcunI
and nature Of The gifts she receives. She
has an uncomfortable consciousness that
some Oi them are Jusi Of tins character.
and she would gladly send them back ii
she could The girer would not have
Sent II, ii he had dared not 10, and the
bride would return Il. If she dared 10. a
pretty state Of things, truly,
We all feel these evils but how are
they TO be remedied BY dong away
with the custom ? Certainly not bc-
cause there is so much that Is graceful
and good in it when not perverted 10
base uses When truly love tokens,
wedding-pr presents are delighted ON both
sides. Her marriage is an era IL the
brides life, and the hearts Of her friends
20 out 10 her there with new sympathy
and fcrvoI, and they wish 10 mark the
day 10y some act that shall sci il apart
from common days and these spoutanc-
Gus presents, made from the heart, are
most precious TO the young bride, and
viii be ienderly cherished through all the
changes other future life, as reminders of
iLai hallowed period.
The remedy, We think, can be found
in following two rules One Is, nererio
make wedding present because IL il ex-
pecied, and Mrs. Grundy VIII think il Is
odd and mean if YOU do not. Be indie
pendent in tins, If in nothing else fol-
low the prompiings Of your own hear1
if that dictates a glfi, make Ii simply and
quickly, and let II be such an one as
shall be true index of both your feeling
and tasies a gitt that your tar friend can
take gratefully, without soillng The deli
cacy Of her nature, or lowering her stand
ard OF morality. Lei your whole infiu-
ence and example be thrown AGAINST all
preiense or humbug in tn. matter, ana
you will have done your duty. The
second is. never expose wedding7cifts 10
the public gaze. There Is shocking IN
delicacy in putting them on exhibition,
and ii must be revolving TO every seu>l-
tive bride, TO do il, 10 boast, rs If were,
of the number and generosity of her
friends, and minister TO the prying cur
osiiy of people who have no right TO look
into her affairs That il Is common,
does not make II right dare 10 follow
your better instincts, and quietly lIy
aside your precious souvenirs TO be used
when tssic and convenience dictate and
you, too, fair brides, will have have done
your part towards the much-needed re-
form.
We have heard DISGUSTING stories OF
persons sending presents IN order TO Gel
. invited 10 the wedding of presents benz
: hired for the occasion, and the like bui
we are sure none who read this paper
! could be guilty Of such things and VIC
, be- Of them TO always frown on whatey-
er verges on insineerify, or looks IN thG
/ least ike bargain and sale, and TO keep
Their msrrlage-day, as every pure-mlnd-
, ed young woman must wish 10, oonse-
= Grated TO what Is sweetest and hohess Iu
her nature without a stain or drawback.
G Follow the same rules in regard to wood
4 en-, I'm, and silver weddings Ii yOul
f heart prompts to a gift make IL Ther,
4 can be no harm in having a good tim,
f ON these OCCASIONS but do moi burder
4 yourselves, or the recipients 10y causcin:
f the latter to feel heavy sense of obllga
e ton, Some pretty, inexpensive triAe i:
= far better than a costGer gift ii show
4 kind feeling, and imposes no responsible
= ty; and if your friend be in circumstan.
= ces TO require more substantial aid, ren
!. der that at some other time and way
= ''letting not your left hand know wha
L your right hand doeth.