, 1867-01-04
NUMBER 8.
Woman.

Woman is az Institution common to all civil,
lied countries, In one Of which we are proud to
have our birthrght and local habitation. AsaR
iastitutiou she has. been praised 10 the topuost
pinnacle Of lofty reputation, and she has been
cursed 10 Delilah, Borgia,- an Anna DiekIu<i
son, and few others Of an Infamous sort OF,
character. Writers, who have mentioned wo.
mas at all have made 1t their special duty to
praise or blame her. They fancy that the d..
lena has but two horns and that they are
obliged to lay hold on one or'the other oftbsns
But there is an interesting betweeuity which
is emPhatieally worthy Of honorable mention.
aud which has been allowed 10 suIsf from neg.
lect. We allude to the common place woman.
who is not illustriOusy good nor hotoriously
wicked but one who gets up a fellows linen in
an unimPeAchable style, and fries doughnuts ae,
cording to Mrs Hall. These are home women.
and their sphere Of action is limited BY the encs
around their yard, but their influence extends
much farther.
Our recollections of this class Of our sSt5ket
commences very early. 1t was one OF them who
hrst introduced us TO "huckaback softened with
soap" that polished the surface Of our face for
Sabbath school, aud spanked US for interfering
with the setting hen, or trying the bounding
qualities of our ball upon the surface Of the par.
lor mirror. lt was one OF these common place
women that slipped US into the mysteries Of
Cornly's spelling, and gave force to the cate
ehlsm BY vigorous application of "cOrset
board 'Spare the rod and spoil the child"
was not illustrated in our juvenile management.
Hence we are justified in advocating this special
class of womanhood.
ltis by no means an Insignificant class; but,
when kept out of books aud ''blue s'ockinRs.b
they are the most enfuental Of their race. ItiS
TO them that the sex who Lave the bills to pay
looks for the genius of his household No man
wants Joan Of Arc to sew on bis but
tim a Il,
cut poor hgure in the cOmmissaTy we'll regulA-
ted household. A Browning or Hemans would
be sadly away from HelicOn in attempting the
regulation OF a ''well-spring of pleasure" No,
the high pressure women are not sought after
to fill inches in life. They are comets 10 the home
galaxy, and their tales are not a goou lullaby
for the baby, Hor do they answer for the larder.
But our betweenities just to fill the bill. They
are mistresses OF the art of house keeping. They
are the genii of order. Chaos cannot exist where
their fingers are free. Put one of them 10 bach
elors apartment for half an hour, and the poor
brute who owns the apartment would think he
was an intruder on somebody's premises, when
be returned. They are a glorious set of crea-
lures. They spank us, kiss us, and scrub US
while young, cajole US when we come to be boys,
plt and dIrl with and tantal,ze and finally marry
US as lovers, then make themselves slaves TO
our wadrobeS and our loose change dd H6itu1.
Ii is tls class Of women that buffers our toast,
dams our socks, rest1Ies Onr buttons, brushes
our castOrs, scOlds us for staying ont at night,
feN'~'NS Sr'S "a ~ --~i-i 49, IS Vt
PROPHECY, tweak our noses for smiling too fond
ly on Susan Jane Hghayer; in short they are
our guardian angels, tue moulders of our morals
aud our m tnners, The spenlers Uf our money,
the everything that elevaGes the nature of man
"nd makes hun feel that he is not altogether
lord Of all he surveys-especially inside his own
dumicil.
The public may go mad over a Ristori, or an
IngelOw, or a Sgourney, or BraddOn; but for
all practical uses aud wholesome influences, give
US Mrs. Jones, or Mrs. Smith, or Mrs. Jen-
the one who fries our pancakes
and scolds US for not coming home 10 time to
eat them hot. We would rather have our hair
pulled and our socks darntd by one of them,
than to be the posseSsor Of humanity Who could
write sonnet, but could mot manage q son or
sew on buttOn.-Audnta NeW Era.