Des Arc weekly citizen., 1867-04-20
SALMAGUNDI,

- Rock Island, Hampton and Gen. tralia, Illinois, have all gone Demo cratic.
 p%"lIusband, I must have a little change to-day" "Well, stay at homie and take care of the children. That will be radical changc.s 9g gv .ss.,
 1T A western editor, when in da- rance for labelling q justice ofthc peace, was requested by the jaflor to gise the prison favorable notice. 'w si7a1
 RATHER PERsoSAL.-@You look as though you were beside yourself,- as the wag said to flop who happened to be standing by donkey. 3
 When is plant like q hog? When it begins to root. And when is it like soldier? When it begins to shoot. And when is it like an editor? When it begins to blow.
 brA southern editor says the shape of kiss Is clLIrtical. This mass be derived from the sensation one expcri- ences when enjoying the luxury, for it is certainly A LIP TICKLE. a, ..-,,e , De5A lady wished a seat. A portiy handsome gentleman brought one and seated her. "Oh. you arc a jewell said slie., "Oh, mo-" replied he, q, am a jcwclcr-I have just set the jewel"
 sJ-A little boy asked his mother what "blood relations" meant. She replied that it -ignified near relatives, etc. after thinking moment he said: '''then mother you must Dc the blood-- jest relation I've got" se4ilsr 70 sua
 baTSomcbody thinks that if nature had intended man to be drunkard, he would have been so constructed like a churn, so that the mere he drank, the more firmly he would stand. sea
 p1-A rural paper advcrtiscs for fifty young ladies of sufficient age to go in company, who dare confess that they have ever made a loaf of bread or q pudding. se 1t7 ets7A s'0
 DsSrf you love others they will love you. If you speak kindly to them, they will speak kindly. Love is repaid with love, and hatred with hatred.-- Would you hear a sweet and pleasant echo, speak swcetly and pleasantly yourself. 4 nt t..
 pgrLincs on defunct Missouri tax payer: ., e.t.
 70, cruel fate, in vain I fed; .4,--,
 We pay Poll tax when we're dead"
 This is subjugation to which dead men are obliged to submit, by Radical legislation, in Missouri.
 ARr A young lady asked gentle man the.nseaning of the word "surro-- gate" and he explained it to her as "a gate through which parties have to go to get married. .sThcn, I imaginc,v said the lady, ''that it is a corruption of sorrow gate" "You are right" said he, Gas woman is an abbrcviation of woe to man." t a7l
 Br"William,' said carpenter to his apprentice, ''as shall l c absent to-day, I wish you to grind all the tools" ."-'Yes, sir The carpenter came homo at night. "Wllliam, have, you ground all the tools ?"-"All but the said Bill. "1 couldn't gcs quite all the gaps out of that"
 SGDuring severe thunder storm, a lady was telling her children not to be afraid that God held the thunder in his hand, and would not let it hurt them less he thought it for the best Just then . loud clap was heard: "Thcre now, said little one, God has let it go, and gone home out of the rain"
 A%If laddie meets a lassie walking in the street, if the lassie wears ''tilt- er"--shows an ancle neat; if the wind in rudely blowing, lifts her skirts too high, and laddie sees the anclc, need a lassie cry? Every lassie wears q ''tilter' and a "hinderpest," and metal 'palpitator" on her snowy breast. If when married to the lassie these false charms he spy if he says "I'm sold,aby jingow need lassie cry2 lro rs,aiv Ds-"Are you acquainted with the provisions of Stevens Bill" said gen. tlcmcn who was . little anxious about reconstruction to another not very we'll posted. "Acquaintcd with Stevens Bill" was the answer, certainly I am, and dcrncd mean nigger he is too Don't know much about his provisions though, saw him with a middling of meat the other day--reckon he stole it. He won't suffer, as long as there is any thing to steal" s......,
 b4-A young couple went 10 Rev. Paul Davis to get married. Mir. D. is a wag, and by an innocent mistake, began to read from the prayer book as follows: , ipae~a .ss ysg
 ssMan that is born of woman is full of trouble, and hath but short time to livc.r
 The astonishcd bridegroom suddenly exclaimed
 '.Sir, you mistake, we came to be married"
 "Wcll, replied Davis, if you insist, I will marry you, but believe mo, my fricnd9 you had better be burieds7
 A%Dip the Atlantic dry with q tea spoon; twist your heel into the toe of your boot; make postrnasters perform their promises and subscribers pay the printer; send up fishing hooks with balloons and fish for stars; when the rain comes down like the catafact of