Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1867-03-21

"a little nonunc nov and then
l. uoli.hod D, the ho.i a men

An auctioneer's clerk being direct
cd by his employer to insert in an adj
vertisement a "fresco by RafIhelle, "
wrote "a Fresh Cow by Rattle !"
II is about as sensible a move for o
man to marry without courting, as TO
attempt to do business without adver-
tising-both will prove abortive.
1t is not work that kills men; it is
worry. Work is healthy you cannot
put more on man than he can bear.
1t is not the revolution that destroys
the machinery, but tho friction.
81 say, boy, where does this right
hand road go to 7" inquired pedes-
trian of country rustic. 81 don't
know, SIR" replied the boy, "taint
been no where since we lived here"
eessWhat would youdo when FIRST EN-
ployed TO bring an action 7" asked an
examiner of a young candidate for
the legal profession. "Ask for money
on account" was the prompt reply.
He passed.
Colonel j. Coss, lately sued the Lou
isville Journal for SO 600, for stating
that his wife had eloped with a cir
Gus manager. The Col. has accepted
compromise by throwing off 1880 of
his claim.
The lady who did not think it re-
spectacle to bring her children up to
work, has lately heard from her two
sons. One Of them is bar-keeper on
a fat-boat, and the other is steward
of brick yard.
A Western editor thus ecusses" his
opponent; "May his COW give sour
milk, and his hens lay bad eggs ! in
short, may his daughter marry one
eyed editor, his business go to ruin,
and he 60 to-Congress."
Lite Ada, (whose elder sister and
brother had been sent for from the
drawing-room): 81 don't see why i
shouldn't go down stairs as well as
you and Albert--lve as much parlor
blood in my veins as you have"
A Frenchman who had been in In
dia, speaking of tiger-hunts, pleasant
ly remarked, "When &c Frcnchman
hunts ze tigare, ali &c sport is grand,
magniique but, wen ze tigare hunts
ze Frenchman, oui. zcro is &c very
devil to pay" F"
A man met big Indian on the
plains few days ago. The gentle
savage had large bundle of scalps,
and the white man made bold to ask
him what he had been doing. "Ugh r.
said the noble red man, "me been
slSirmishing for waterfalls"
A countryman on his first sight of
a locomotive declared that he thought
it was a devil on wheels. "Faith and
we're worse than meself" said an Irish
bystander, 'ior the first time that /
ever saw the ereathur, thought it
was steamboat hunting for water"
A gentleman, who takes a business
view Of most things, when recently
asked respecting person OF quite a
poetic temperament, replied, "Oh ! he
is one of those men who have soar
ing after the infinite and divings after
the unfathomable, but who never pays
cash."
"Sall, cried a girl, looking out Of
the upper story of small grocery, ad-
dressing another girl, who was trying
to enter at the front door, "we've all
been TO camp meeting and got con-
vertcd, so when you want milk on
you will have to come in at
the back door,"
A picture in a late number of Punch
represents fashionable and affection
ate couple, the husband searching Wig
orously in his waistcoat pockets. The
young wife enquiries: "lIave you lost
your watch, loveg" And he replies.
"No, darling, twas new bonnet /
had for you somewhere"
There was "Topsey7 in the police
court at Detroit, last Friday, in the
shape of colored girl who was call
ed to take the witness stand. She
;he witness box a few mo
ments, and after mounting the highest
portion of il that she could find, di-
rected the court to Ego ahead wild de
sale" evidently supposing that sho
was to be sold.
A gentleman in California having
made lady present of pair of pis-
tolls, after several trials Of skill, they
TO 90 through the forms Of
= dueE They took their positions,
fred at the word, and, to the terror of
Ihe lady, the gentleman fell She
.hrew herself irantically upon the
,orpse, embracing and kissing it with
very emotion OF endearment. Tn.
lor such magical influence the gentle.
nan revived, and rose unhurt from
he ground, and-and-they are to be
RUsKIN ON JUDAs.-John Ruskin,
n the Crown of Wild Olives, charac.
erizes in his trenchant style those
who live TO make money as imitators
# Judas We do great injustice to
scariot in thinking him wicked above
III common wickedness. lie was only
J common money-lover. like all money
overs, didn't understand Christ; could
lot make out the worth of Him, or
he meaning of Him. lie didn't want
lin to be killed. He was horror
truck when he found that Christ
would be killed; threw his money
way instantly, and went and hanged
himself. How many of our present
noney-seekers, think you, would have
he grace to hang themselves, who
iver was killed! But Judas wan a