The Fairfield herald. [volume] (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1849-1876, 1867-02-13
Things Wise and Otherwise.

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When is cider like pastry2 When
it is a little tart.
eCanyou tell me, sir, how to find tho
Shoritl's Office p Yes, sir ovcry timo
you earn fivo dollars spond tcn.'
A bachelor arithmetician snys n
girl is sum when she cars's one to
sigh-for her. r.,
81 will never marry q woman wlioS
can't carve said Jones. sWhy not is'
he was asked.-sBeoause She would
not be hclp-mcot for me-
The Detroit Post says that all that
is left of the Feniunnavy is the tug
! of war; bctw cen tho factions of that
brotherhood.
q wondcr,' said n Scotch maiden,
what my brother John secs in the ms
scs, chat he likes them sac wcel for
my part, | wad mao gle tho company o.
ahe lad for twenty lasses.' a
A sdown-East' Yankee has recently
invented rat cxtcrminator, consisting
of Il sort ofpowdcr stuff The ami
man jerks his head off at the third
snccZo
An irros;b'o gentleman lately fought
q duel with his intimate friend be-l,
cause he jocoscly asserted that he was
born without shirt to his back.
Boileau being frequently called up
on BY an idle, ignorant person, who
complained to him that ho did not
rcturn his visit Sir said the French
satlrist, 'wc are not upon equal terms;
you Call upon me toggct rid of your
time when l call upon you I loso
minc.'
A dentist presented bill for tho
tenth time to rich skinA;nt. 1T
strikes me- said the latter, shat this
! is pretty round BILL sYos, replied
the dentist l'vc sent it round often
enough to make it appear so, and T
have called now to got it squared.'
From your childrcn's early history
i,culcatc the necessity of instant obc-
deuce. Unite frmncss with gentle
ness. lot your children always un-
dcrstand that J, on moan exactly what
you say. Never promise them any,
tnliing unless you arc sure you can give
them what you promise.
"A clergyman lateIy travelling in tho
oil region saw child stumbling and
falling. Ho kindly picked her ND
saying sPoor littlo dear, arc YOU
hurt? ? When she cried out,' Il ain't
poor dad has done struck lie.
Husband, wish you would buv
me some pretty feathers Indeed,
my dear little wife, you look bcttor
without them.' oh, no, sir YOU al
ways call me your little bird, and how
does bird look without feathers p
An old minister enforced tho nc
ceSsity of difference of opinion by ar
gument Nov, if everybody had
been of my opinion, they would all
wanted my old woman One of the
dcacons, who sat just behind him re-
spondcd: Yes, and if everybody was
OF my opinion, nobody would have
her.
Coon FARMINa'-The Ooala (Florid(u
Banner says;
"A gentleman in this vicinity purchased
10 acres Of pine land--one-hnlf cleared
for 1919. With himself and family, con-
sis'ing entirely of females. assisted onlv by
q small boy, for whose services he paid $50,
ne raised The following crops, viz: Eight
bales OF long cotton, worth about S., 900:
$500 worth nf CORN $500 worth of meta.
toes: oats and fodder worth $75, and from
tue rihdcrs raised he fattcn,i S400 worth
OF pork. In the production Of those crops
he employed two horses. His total cxpen.
s's for tho tnrm md Tho support Of tho
family was 5000"
The Usage Chronicle urges tile devel.
opmcn; of'ho rich coal fields in Kunsas.
which nnd"rlie. as is claimed, one.,hird
OF 'he CO. 'n'ry at a depth of Lut few
lcet from the surface. 1t cors' dcrs that
u railroad ever goes I'll on III Il ore.
the ch'cf source OF wealth VIII be their
COAL a. 'N ~ ,'i77
LINE. many parts of England
they timato the value If their land
Ill proportion to the noarnoss of access
to the limokilns, on account of it's val
liable properties whom used for dress
ing. Farmers should give more of
their attention to this subject, and use
lime more literally where tho soil is
not calcaroous. 1L ..,,.,
ANCIENT SILVER CoJNs.---A man whilo
ploug'inG up headlnud on Chnnton farm.
III Sussex, England; threw out oftho furrow
an old crock, or chrthenware pot, oonxSss
ing y number of coins chiefly Of the timSSN "
Edward the Confessor md Harold. They
were y II packed in tho crock on thoir edges,
as closely ns possible, and had evidently
remained nndisributcd since lrst hidden.
~ -~. 4 as .sy-.t.,.
twill be noticed by our Congressional
rsperthy Telegraph, that tho House OF
Representative hnye refused, aftnr n bitter
discussion, to second tho move for the pre-
'vlons question on tho Military Bill oCMr.
Stevens, otPenn,, by vote Of 81. to O2.
Thisyotc probably terminates tho last ot-
tempt on the part OF M2.sloysns to put tho
SoutIlnhder tho government Of military