The Fairfield herald. [volume] (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1849-1876, 1867-11-27
Sum Natral History,
BY JOSH BILLINGS,

BY JOSH BILLINGS.
FLEAs.-- The smallest animal of the
brute creation, and the most pcsky, il
the Flcas.
They arc about tho bgncss oy an
onion seed, and shine like bran new
shot.
Thcy spring from low places, and
noy Of thc bug brutcs.
They bite wuss than The muskcc-
toIe, fer The bite on The run one flea
Will so aul over 4 mans suburbs in 9
mlaoits, and leave him as frccklcd as
the mcaZlcs. q
J. IS Impossible 10 do anything we'll
WlIh q flea on you cxccpt swarc. nnt
fcas ain't afraid Of that he only woy
IL to 1ui. bizncss oy nul kinis ans
hunt for Tho flea, and When YOU have
found him he ain't thurc. TIiz is ono
Of the flea mysteries, the fMckuIty
they have cv being entirety lost jisL
as you have found them.
ocn'U suppose thcrc is over killed
Oh an average, during emmy one year,
more than lG ilcas in the whole ov tho
United States oy America, unless
there is casualty Of somo kind-onco
in a while tharc is dog gifts drowned
sadden, and then tharc may be q few
Hcas lost.
They arc about az hard to kill az o
haxsccd is, and if you don't mash
taem up IS fine as Ground pepper they
WI ssArt bizncss again on smaller
k'pltal jis. az pcsiivcrous as ever.
There ~ lots ov people who havo
novc! seen 4 flea, and it takes pretty
sm@,t man few sec one anyhow they
don't STAY long in any place.
Ii yo@ ever kctch u ileu, kill him be-
Tore you 90 cnnything else for if YOU
do put it off 2 minnils, it may be TOO
late.
lIcnny = lea has passed away for
cTcr III less chan 2 minuita.
BED EUcs.-l acvor seen cnnybodv
yet II, what dcap;acd Ncd Bugs.
Ihcy ere the mcancst Of aul CRAWLING,
creeping, hoppinG, Or bitcin@ things.
Ihcy t>zcn1 tackle man bi dalitc,
.ut sneak after dark, aud chaw while
he is fas. oslccp.
A mUskc,o will fight you in tho
broad dalite, at short range. and Give
you fair chance TO knock in his
SIC e'-.ho fea is gar bug, and will
make . dash at you even in Broad.
way-but ;ho bed bur is a garrotcr,
WHO w&I;s Till you strip, and then
picks out . mellow place tcw cat you.
If wa1 in the habit Of swearing, |
wouldn't hesitate to cuss q bed bur
right tow his face.
Bed bugs arc uncommon smart in a
small way, ono pair ov them will stock
hair mattress il 2 wecks with bugs
onuH tow last small family whole
year.
1t don't 90 emmy good to pray when
bcd bugs arc in season the only way
to get rid ov them is tcw bile up tho
whole bed in aqMafort;s, and then
hcavc it away and buy anew one.
Bed bugs whcn thoy have gronc aul
they intend to, arc about the size of q
.b!ucjay's eye and have brown COM
p!exion, and when they start out to
Sarrotc arc az Thin az grease spot,
but whcn they git thru garroting they
arc swclled up like blister.
1t takes thcm days tcw git tho
swelling out Of thcm.
If bed bugs laNo emmy destiny TO-
I'LL it mus; be their st,nnmuks, but il
seems to nc that thoy must have been
made by accident, jist as slivvcrs arc,
tcw stick into sumboddy.
II they waz got up for some wise
purpose they must havc took THE
wvonG road, for there kant be cnny
wisdom in chawinS man aul mite
Ions, and raising family besides to-
folicr tie same trade.
If tharo il sum wisdum in aul this,
hope the bed bugs will chaw them
iolks'who kan 500 it, aud leave me be-,
bckauso | am one of The hcrcticka.