davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Clarksville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1865-1867, 1867-03-08

Old Ricketts, was man Of labor, and had
little or no time 20 devote 10 specula.ion on
the future. lie was withsl, rather uncouth
in the use of language. O-e day, while en-
enged In stopping hog holes about his place,
he was approached by colpot'eur,, and pre-
santed with a tract.
{ "whats all this about?ps demanded Mr..
Ricketts,. titt.t- I'D. 0nst -sff
"That sir, Is book describing The csles-
tial state" was the reply. N-t-Nt.
'Celes.ial State said Ricketts, lin what
section is thatf'
any worthy friend, fear You have not"
"Well, never mind, interrupted Ricketts,,
~ don't want to bear about any better State
than Peunsylvania. intend 10 live aud dio
right here, II can keep them darusd hogs
out
How may man be known from a "a
tigued dog' one wears shirt, aud the
other pants.
The gentleman who borrowed an oyster
knife 10 open an account at his bankers with.
is anxious to meet with patent eorkscrew.
TO draw check.
any opinion Is, said a philosophical old
lady Of much experience and observation, I,
that any man as dies upon washing day
does 1t out Of pure spite"
Little boys should he seen aud not heard =
replied a youngstcr when be didn't know
his lesson, rrt So
Mrs. Parling,on wants To know II tbs
fope sent any Of his bulls To the cattle show
A leveller, perceiying two crows aying
side ny side, said; "Ay, that's just as Il
should be; hate 10 see one crow over an-
other"
A druLkeo fellow reeorering from dan.
gerous Illness was asked whether be bad moi
been afraid Of meeting his God. mo said
he, ~ was only aieard of to.hsr chap"
A country editor, who received severe
"hoist' by treading on fragment OF lemon
peel In New York, has commenced q series
Of letters to his jouroal, beaded "My Trip
on the Rhine W
A yengeful individual, in the exaberanoe
OF his rage at some Que who offended him
said "T II have rsvcngsl4 BY Jore, n give
his little boy a lin horn I'D. ,l
Clarksville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1865-1867, 1867-03-08

NEWSPAPER LAws.--Postmaster are re-
qnired to give notice by letter when sub
scriber does not take his paper from the Office,
and give the reasons for its not being taken.
Neglecting to do 50 makes the postmaster
responsible to the publisher for the pay
ment.
Any person who takes a paper regularly
from the post-otfiee, whether he has subscrib-
ed or not is responsible for the. payment OF
the subscription. .
A person ordering his paper discontinued
must pay all arrearages, or the Publisher may
continue to send it until payment is made
and collect the whole amount whether il Il
taken from the Office or not.
! The courts have decided that refusing Il
take newspaper or periodical from The
Office, or removal and leaving them aDcalleC
Cor is Pr,md .fde,t evidence of ihten,ona
. fraud,
Clarksville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1865-1867, 1867-03-08

The remains OF the lamented Judge A. n.
Caruthers, formerly OF Lebanon. who died
in the South during the war, arrived in tho
city yesterday, and were received aud takem
in charge by pail bearers, appointed by tho
different lodges in this city, Of the Indepsnd-
ent Order Of Odd Fellows. The remains
win be forwarded to his old home In Leba-
non, and the Odd Fellows Of that place are
making the necessary arrangements 70 bury
him with the ceremonies of the Order on
next Sunday Week. Ndshviiie Gasests 25th
Clarksville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1865-1867, 1867-03-08
The Six Degrees OF Drunkenness.

A MRNAGERIE OF ToPERs.-The following
homily we give as we found it, leaving our
sober fellow citizens to warrant for thetruth
therein contained: .f8a . .
The most foolish predicament man can
get into n to get drunkl In drunkenness
be shows his strongest and most ardent pas
sion. There are six kinds of drunkards, and
if you will go into city drinking place
where there are dozen men under the in
fluence of liquor, you will be sure to find
these six different characters; representing
different animals. p. rg. iHD.
The first is ape drunk He leaps, and
sings and yells aud dances making all sorts
Of gaimaces, and cutting up all sorts Of
"monkey shines" to excite the laughter OF
his fellows! Terribly silly is the drunken
clowl 'iI 4s 9vaU t1H go ..r
The second is tiger drunk He breaks the
bottles, breaks the chairs, breaks the heads
of fellow carousers, and is full of blood and
thunderl His eyes are Cred with vengeance,
and his souLraves with murderous fufyi or
this sort are those who abuse their families.
- The third is hog drunk. lie rolls in the
dirt on the floor, slobbers and grunts, and
going into the streets makes Lis bed in the
first ditch or filthy corner he may happen to
fall into. He is heavy, lunpsh and sleepy,
and cries in a grunting way for little more
to drink. r~afi tI., t--i..f..f ..-.
The fourth is puppy drunk. He will weep
for kindness, aud whine his love, and hug
you in his arms, and kiss you with his slob-
berry lips and proclaim how much he loves
you'll You are tho best man he ever saw,
and he will lay down his money or his life
for you .-
The fifth is owl drunk lie is wise in his
own conceitl No man must differ with
him for his word is law lie is true in pol
itics, and in all matters must he taken as
authority. His arm is the strongest, his
voice the sweetest, his horse the fleetest, his
turnips the largest, his town the finest of al
the towns in the land a s
The sixth and last animal in the menage-
rie is the fox drunk man. lie is crafty, ready
TO trade horses and cheat if he cani Keen
to strike a bargain, leering around with a
low cunning, peeping through cracks, listen
ing under the caves, watching for some sas
picious thing, sly as fox, sneaking rs wolf
lie is the meanest arunksrd Of them all
Clarksville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1865-1867, 1867-03-08

There are many people in tho world who
make it n business 10 sponge the reading OF
newspapers without any expense to them
selves. This has often been noticed aud
commented upon. They are not confined to
any particular locality, but are found wberev-
er the newspaper goes. An exchange from
Maine thinks there are more of this class
there thar elsewhere, while the Nsv Hdmp-
shire Gazette believes tue Granite State is in.
tested with them TO even greater deglee.--
II says awe have known men OF means TO
hang around a store where the proprietor
tales paper, for the mere purpose of read
ing the paper, and getting the news without
its costing them anything. There are scores
of families whose parental beads spend
enough in bad rum aud tobacco weekly to
pay for dozen newspapers, aud still persist
in sponging what little information they get
Of what is going on in the world from their
neighbors Any man who can afford TO in
duIge in rum, beer, cider or tobacco, can
abundantiy afford to subscribe and pay for a
newspaper for the benefit Of himself and
family" .. .ar
Clarksville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1865-1867, 1867-03-08

EpERsirY.-Solemn and important wa,
the advice given by Robert Hall; "Walk
as II were upon the borders Of the ocean Of
eternity, and listen 10 the sound Of lis wa.
tiers, ill you are deaf 70 every other sound
beside" oh, II We always did this, what
different persons we should be 10 what We
are now, in all manner OF holy conversation
aud godliness, Arch Bishop Leighton, when
bis brethren were ali preaching on "the
times" asked permission TO discourse on
eternity.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1865-1867, 1867-03-08

SALT YoUR CHIAEEys.--ln building q
chimney, put a quantity of salt into the
mortar with which the ihtefcoures OF brick
arG 70 be laid. Tue effect will be that there
will never be any accumulation Of SCOT 10
that ehimney. The philosophy Is TINS stated
The salt IN the portion OF mortar which ID
exposed, absorhs tn moisture every daml
day. The SCOT thus becoming damp, falli
down ibe fireplace. Our readers shonld re.
member TO preserve this little piece Of yaIu'
stls Information.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1865-1867, 1867-03-08

Lospos, Feb 25.-lu accordance with the
programme announced by the Government
on The lllh inst, resolutions on reform were
iutroducel in the Honse Of Commons this
evening. Mr. Isreali opened the debate,
and on the psrI Of Government propos<d four
new franchises aud the change Of some Bor-
rough seats.
Mr. Bright followed and made stronx
speech 10 orposiiion TO the scheme Of the
Derby administration.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1865-1867, 1867-03-08

The South published at lberyille, La,
says; We will here take occasion 70 urge
upon our planters not to fail to make their
own corn this season. We pay no tax on
corn produced at home, but an Internal tax
when We buy it. Let US not be so foolish as
to think We cannot raise our own corn and
proyender. II can be done easily and pays
better than either cotton OF sugar.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1865-1867, 1867-03-08
GAINESVILLE, TENN.
A, -RAwsoS, A.. JOHN a. BRipoiANp,
sJAuIS D. bouCk. A, {. RAwsoS.
RAWSON, BRIDGLAND 4 co.,
Cotton and Tobacco Factors,
GENERAL COMMISSION MERCHANTS
No. IL, Broad st. NEW YORK.

REFERENCES;
Mesrs. David nows & Co, New York; Gil.
bert oghorn a. Co, Cincinnati Gregg s
Hughes Chicago; J. B. Alexander & Co,
ST. Louis; wm. II. Morrison, Esq, lndianap-
oils, la Winslow, LNnier 4 Co., Bankers
New York; J, q, Barrett Esq. Cashier Citi-
gems Bank, Louisville Ky; n b. Curtis
Esq, Cashier First National Bank, Peoria,
Ill James L. Reeves, Esq, Prest First Ma
tiousl Bank, Richmond la f. y Davis
Pres't First National Bank, Memphis, Tenn,
reA. viii make liberal advances upon
shipments OF Tobacco or other produce, to
ihe ABOVE house. NJ. II. CLARK.
Clarksville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1865-1867, 1867-03-08

A person asking wit II the tolling OF
bel,s did not remind him Of his latter end,
was answered "No, bat the rope pa.s ne in
. mind OF yours"
Clarksville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1865-1867, 1867-03-08
DIR. BILLINGsLEY

HAS REMOVED HIS OFFICE AND
residsncs to the new frame hnilding one door
eas, OF the Episcopal church, on Franklin
street,
N0v ?. lscGtf
The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1867-11-22
HappyHeart.

A little boy came to me this morn
ing with broken arrow, and begged
me to mend it for him. 1t was 8 very
handsome arrow, so l did not wonder to
see his lip quivering, and the tears come
into his eyes.
"Tll try to fix it, darling" l said,
but I'm afr aid / can't do it"
He watched me anxiously for few
moments, and then said cheerfully:
"Never mind, mamma; if you can't
fix it, Pn be just as happy without it"
Wasn't that brave, sunshiny hesrti
And that made me think of dear lit
tie girl, only three years old, whom l
once saw bringing out her choicest play
things to amuse a home-sick cousin.
Among the rest was little trunk, with
bands of silk paper for strsps-a very
pretty toy: but careless little Fred tip
ped the lid too far back, and broke it Of.
He burst out with cry of fright but
little Minnie, with her own eyes full of
tears, said:
"Never mind, Freddie; Just see what
cunning little cradle the top will
make"
Dear little Minnie went to live with
the angels few years ago, but we have
great many such sweet memories to
keep for her. u7fs .F0y
Keep happy heart little children,
and you viii be like sunbeams, where
ever you go.-LittLc Corporal. .,o-
The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1867-11-22
Long DresIsas.

Oliver Wendell Holmes uses the fol-
lowing language, none too strong, in
reference to one of Fashions foolish and
offensive freaks:
"But confound the make-belieye wo-
men we have turned loose in our streets:
where do they come from? Not out
of Boston parlors, trust Why, there
isn't beast or bird that would drag
its tail through the dirt in the way these
creatures do their dresses. Because a
Queen or Duchess wears long robes on
great occasions, maid of all work or
factory girl thinks she must make her
self nuisance by trailing through the
streets, picking up and carrying about
with her-bah! that's what l call get
ting vulgarity into your bones and mar
row. Show, over dirt is the attribute
of vulgar people. If man can walk
behind one Of these women, as she
rakes up as she goes, and not feel
squeamish, he has a tough stomach.
| would not let one of them into my
room without serving them as David
did Saul at the cave in the Wilderness
cut off his skirts! Don't tell me that
true lady ever sacrifices the duty of
keeping all about her sweet and clean,
to the wish of making a vulgar show.
| don't believe it of a lady. There are
some that no fashion has a right to
touch, and cleanliness is one of these
things. 1t is an insult to a respectable
laundress to carry such things into a
house for her to deal with"
The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1867-11-22
Autumn Days,

When autumn days come, Nature,
like a retired merchant changes its
manner-from thrift and bustling in
dustry to languid leisure and to osten-
tatious luxury. The sun rises later and
and sets earlier than when it had all
the summer crops on hand and was
playing universal husbandman. There
is no nest-building now, and no bird
singing,-whieh is purely domestic ar
rangement, designed on the birds part
to keep peace in the families while the
children are being raised, and laid aside
as soon as the young birds are off hands.
Mornings come feeced in mists, which
hang over streams and low, moist places.
The sun plays with them, but they per
ish in his arms.
A few belated flowers yet keep watch
but chiefly the asters, which fringe
the fields, star the edges of forests, and,
like late-comer at a feast, seem bent
upon making up lost time. At night
crickets and katy-dids scrape their shrill
viols, and fill the air with, stridulous
music. Over all the shrinking fields,
the trees lift up their gorgeous foliage,
and, Ike those who wait fer the mar
riage-bell and bridegroom, they shine
out in glorious appareL-Beecher's Nor
Wood
The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1867-11-22
Poor POntO.

One of the most affecting stories ev-
er heard about dog was told me many
years ago by an uncle of mine who once
lived in Paris My uncle was walking
on one of the quays, when he saw a
man approach, holding dog by chain.
The poor animal was frightened, and
yet did not attempt to struggle as he
was being led a long. He looked up
piteously at his jailor, and every now
and then tried to fawn about his feet,
as if pleading with him. 'Poor beast,
he might know, seemingly, what was
going to happen to him." said the
man. .saa-sIE3 5&s gnEfssr
"What is going to hsppenp inquir-
ed my uncle.
"Sir, Pm going to drown him; that
is what will happen"
'But why, sir; are you his masterP'
81 am certainly his master, and be is
old-poor Ponto! am sorry but it
must be-"
The dog gave low whine, and trem-
bling, crouched close to his master.
"He does not seem very old, and
drowning is hard death, remonstrat-
ed my uncle.
"Sir, he is quite useless"
While he was speaking the words,
the man unmoored little boat, lifted
the dog in, and rowsd to the middle of
the stream. When he came to where
the water was deepest my uncle saw
him lift up the dog suddenly, and
throw him with great force into the
stream. f.
If the master had thought that the
dogs age and infrmities would prevent
his struggling for life he was very much
mistaken, for he rose to the surface,
kept bis head well up, and trod the wa
ter brayely. The man then began to
push the dog away with an oar, and at
last losing all patience, he struck out so
far to deal the dog blow that he over
balanced himself and fell into the riv-
er. He could not swim, and now be-
gan the generous animals efforts, not
to save his own life, but that of the
master who was trying to drown him.
The dog swan to him, and seizing fast
hold of his coat-collar, held him up un-
til a boat put off to his rescue and
brought him, half drowndsd and wholly
frightened, to the shore-his faithful
dog barked, cried and licking his hand
and face in the greatest excitement of
affection. l remember still the look
with which my uncle used to tell how
he stepped forward and asked the man,
'Do you still think him useless-this
noble generous dogw
81 think he deserves a better mas
ter" said a gentleman who had wit
messed the incident; and there and
then he made an effort to buy Ponto;
but the man, embracing. the dog, said
hoarsely: '.No, sir; was wrong; as
long as l have crust / viii give half
to my poor Ponto."
A woman who had basket on her
arm come up at the time and said, 81
should think you would, indeed, or else
you ought to be ashamed to look him
IN the face" and out of her basket took
piece of meat and the dog was feast
ed and petted and made much Of, and
from that time, as long as my uncle
staid in Paris, he often saw Ponto on
the quay, and the story of his generosi-
ty to his master made him so many
friends that the dogs keep was no long
er burdendscme. No one was suffer
ed to modest him, and his old age was
doubtless the happiest period of his
life. ..- a. ',...o. ...-..- Ia
The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1867-11-22
Foreign Gossip.

American ladies spend quantities of
money in Paris. One woman bought
$50, 900 worth of ldxuries for presents.
'EThe sky hangs full of fiddles" is
what the Germans say instead of "the
goose hangs high"
1t is rumored that the Emperor
Napoleon intends following his 'Iife of
Cesar" with the 'Life Of Count Bis
mark" We should think, however,
the imperial author would prefer writ
ing the Counts obituary.
The "American clown Agreat, called
the man-hy," according to Paris pa
per, committed suicide last week at
Berlin in presence of 1000 spectators,
by firing pistol in his mouth at the
moment he was hanging by his feet to
the ceiling of the theatre" srs9
Postage stamps are a comparatively
recent invention, but they have gone
into universal use in most enormous
quantities. England uses $50, 900, 900
postage stamps annually 3; France, 45O,-
900, 900, and the United States, 34O,.
600, 1000. lrr5 10
1t is often said ''there is nothing new
under the sum-" Many things seem to
favor the truth of the proyerb. A fire
and burglar proof safe, which has been
subjected to a volcanic eruption, has
been discovered among the ruins of
Pompeii, its contents uninjured. 1t
very much resembles modern safes. o.,
A correspondent of the Indianapolis
Herald writing from Europe, evidently
a lady, INDUCES in some pleasant gos-
sip about notables She says that the
Empress of Austria is, ''of all the
crowned females, " the greatest beauty
in Europe. Won Beust the Austrian
statesman, is described as ''very small
and delicate, with thoughtful face,
just the opposite to Bismark in appear
ance." King Louis Of Bavaria is "a
handsome youth of twenty-one," who
cares only for "music and frOlicking." !"
The Prince of Wales, we are told, is be-
ginning to "look ike Henry VIII
The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1867-11-22
A Little Nonsense

Who buys hath need of hundred
eyes; who sells, hath enough with one.
The coward says he is cautious, the
miser that he is sparing.
81 love thee STILL" said quiet hus-
band to his chatting wife.
1t is said that the prettiest girls in
Salt Lake City usually marry Young.
Betting is immoral; but how can the
man who bets be worse than the man
who is no better!
A man loves when his judgment
approves; woman's judgments ap-
proves when she loves.
An old lady being told that the world
was shortly coming to an end, exclaim-
ed: 30, what shall l do for snuffp
A tailor speaking of the winter fash
ions, says, very correctly, "There is not
much change in gentlemau's pants this
month.
A little girl was told to spell ferment,
and give the meaning, with sentence
in which it was used. The following
was literally her answer: "F-e-r-m-e-n-t,
a verb, signifying to work; I love to
ferment in the garden"
Never set yourself up for musician
just because you have got a drum in
your ear; nor believe you are cut out
for school teacher merely because you
have pupil in your eye.
An inquisitive chap asked soldier
with an empty sleeve chow he lost his
arm?" ''In the thrashing machine" {"
answered the soldier. "Were you run
ming the machine 81 ''Well no; Gen.
Grant had charge. m m =.
"Will you give me that ring N said a
village dandy to lady; "for it resem-
bles my love for you; it has NO end"
"Excuse me, sir, was the reply, 81
choose to keep it as being emblemati-
cal of mine for you; it has no begin
ming"
A man was walked in the night and
told that his wife was dead. He turn
ed over, drew the coyerled closer, pull
ed down his night cap, and muttered,
as he went to sleep again: "Ahl how
grieved l shall be in the morning"
A lady says the first time she was
kissed she felt like tub of roses swim
ming in honey, cologne, nutmegs, and
cranberries; She felt also as if some
thing was running through her nerves
on feet of diamonds, escorted by sever
al little cupids in chariots drawn by
honey-suckles, and the whole spread
with melted rainbows
The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1867-11-22
Concerning Cheek.

Of all the qualities with which the
beginner in society can be endowed,
impudence is, without any question, the
grandest, the noblest, and the most
valuable, both to its possessor and to
the rest of his feIow-creatures. Known
to various men by various names, such
as dignity, honor, self respect conf
dence, ETC., it is honored and admired
by all, and may be traced running like
golden thread through the whole web
of society, giving it all its luster, and
adding incalculablY to its beauty and
splendor. Were this thread to be drawn
out the fabric must at once lose all its
value in the market of the world, if,
indeed, it did not fall in pieces alto
gether. 1t is, properly speaking, less a
quality itself, than the life and soul of
all the other qualities. A young man
may start in life with the gift of tongue,
an undoubted place in the country, a
head of hair and a tenor voice, but
though he may reserve his choicest con-
verse for the dowager, may ask the best
men down to shoot, may 90 to church
twice on Sunday, and may even give
his voice to be abused in afternoon con-
certs, yet unless he shows in each in all
dash of the sovereign quality of i'm
pudence, he will not be one whit the
better, but rather worse of, for he will
thenceforth be recognized as a creature
to be made use Of and treated accord
ingly. For the want of impudence he
will be mortified by seeing better men
than himself perferred before him upon
every possible occasion.
He will never shine at dinner table
where there is brilliant talker; he will
never be introduced to the first flight of
/ girls when there is a sufficient number
of smarter young men to provide for
them; he will be mounted on a second
rate hunter whenever there is a better
rider to be put upon the best; in short,
he will be ridden over in the row, look
ed over in the streets, and talked over
IN the drawing rooms in manner
which will be characterized far more by
truth than by compliment, and that
solely in consequence of the knowledge
that he lacks, the one defensive arm of
impudence. There are other men who
generally devote their gifts of impu-
dence to the purpose of ''pushing," and
many may be recognized by an insatiate
desire to bless with their society those
who neither know nor desire them.
Let them meet you at dinner, and they
will let you know that you are thence
forth bound to ask for cards for them
for all the balls to which you go your
self, and will insist on being introduced
to all the useful people with whom you
may be never so slenderly acquainted.
They will invite themselves to dine with
you at the club, dictate the choice of
liquor, abuse your salad, smoke your
peculiar cigars, and at last leave you
in contempt for ball to which your
want of impudence has prevented you
from being invited. The spectacle
which such great spirits present cannot
fail to be pleasing and edifying, and it
is pleasing to find that it never fails to
receive the admiration it merits.-I Lon
don Owl.