Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1867-04-27

ry the prettIcst girl in the neighborhood
Cousin Sally billiard
ScENE-I C~un IF Justice In .NoyM caro-
Tina:
\ bcar,css disciple of Thcmis rises and
thus addresses tho Court: May it please YOUR
worships and you, gentlemen Of the Jury
since it has been my fortune (good or bad
will notIsay) to exercise myself in legal dis
QUESTION, it has never bef;llcn nc to be OBJ
ligca to prosecute 20 direfully marked an as.
sault-a more wilful, violent, and dangerous
battery, and finally more diabolical breach of
pc'cc, had seldom happened, in a civilized
country; and dare say it seldom has been
your duty Ia pass upon one so shocking to
benevolent feelings, as this whicl. took place
over To Captain Ricc's in this county but yon
will hear from the witnesses
The witnesses being sworn, two or three
we're examined and drposcd One said that
he heard the noise but did not sec the fight !;
another that lie SAW tho row, but did not know
who struck first. aud another that he was very
drunk and could't say much about the skrim
mage.
Lrwycr Chors-T am sorry, gentlemen. to
have occupied your time with the stupidity
OF the witnesses examined. Itarises gentle
mon, from misnpprchcnsion on my part =
! Had known, rs | now do that ] had wit.
ness who was acquainted with all the circum-
stances ot the case, and who was able to make
himself clearly understood to the court aud
jury, | should not have trGspcsscd so long on
your patience. Come forward, Mr. Harris,
and be sworn.
SO forward comes the witness. fat chuffy
old man, a lcctlc' corncd, and took his oath
with an air.
Chops IIarris, we wish you to tell about
the riot that happened the other day at Cap
tain Rcc's and ns good deal of time has al
ready been wasted in crcumlocuton, we wish
you to be comrendious, at the same time as
explicit as possible.
Harris Adzakly (giving The lawyer
knowing wink, at the same tim, clearing his
throaD. Capt. Rice hc gin treat, cousin
Sally DiIlard she come over to onr houpe and
axcd me if my wife she mought go. ] told
cousin Sally billiard that my wife was poorly,
being as how she had touch of rhcumatics
in the hip, aud the big swamp was up in the
road, there havin' been great deal of rain
lately, but howsomever MS it was she, cousin
Sally Dillard my wife she mout 90. Well,
cousin Sally billiard then axed mo if Nose lie
mount go. told cousin Sally billiard that
he was foreman of the crap, and the crap was
Smartly in the grass, but howsomcver, as it
was she cousin Sally billiard, Nose he mout
20.
Chops--in the name Of common sense. Mr.
Harris, what do you mean by this riglnarole
Witncss-Cnptan Rice lie gin treat and
cousin Sally billiard she came over to my
house and aXcd me if my wife she moutn't
80, and and cousin Sally Dll,rd-
Chops Stop, sir, if you please we don't
want to hear about your cousin Sally Dilard,
or your wife +; tc! us about the fight at Ricc's.
Witness We'll, / will sir, if you will let
me.
Chops-Wcl, sir, go on
Witness sir, Captain Rice he Gin
treat, and cousin Sally billiard she came over
to my house, and axcd me if my wife she
moutn't 60.
Chops-llcrc it is again. Witness, please
stop.
Witncss-W sir, what do you want
Chops-Wc want to know about the fight,
and you must not proceed with this import-
nent story. DO you know anything abont tbc
matter before the Court?
Witncss-Io be sure do.
Chops-Wcll, go on, then, and tell it, and
nothing else.
Witncss-Wcll, Captain Rico he gin a
''S"' S'o'Ij IHpNC ltlilt the witness be COM
mltted for a contempt. lie seems to be trif-
ling with this conrt
Conrt-Wtness. your arc before the court
OF justice, and unless you behave yourself in
more becoming manner, you will be sent to
jail so begin and tell what you know about
the fight at Ricc's
Witness, somewhat alarmed Well, gentle.
men, Captain Rice he gin a treat, and cousin
Sally Dilard-
Court ---(after dclibcrating) Attorney,
the court is of opinion that we may save time
by letting the witness go on his own way
Proceed Mr.. Harris, with your story, but
stick to the point
Witness-Ycs, gentlemen. We'll, Captain
Kicc nc gin treat, aud cousin Sally Dillard
came over to>our house and axed me if NV
wife she moutn't 60 I told cousin Sally Dill.
lard that my wife she was poorly, being as
how she had the rhcumatis in her hin, and
the big swamp was up; however, as it was
she, cousin Sally billiard, my wife sho mout
60 Cousin Sally billiard then axed mo if
Mnuny yo, 4 T -.