The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1867-05-31

turned on the mail bagand the postmas-
ter, At this particular moment the lat
ter is at his zenith. The by-standers
watch him, he proceeds to empty there
sponsible pouch of its precious contents.
They count up every package, parcel
and newspaper that comes to the light,
and appear as much pleased with what
they discover as children are over the
miscellaneous contents of their Christ
mas-stockings.
Many of those nearest the counter,
and those who, byreason of age or prop
erty-value, feel "privileged" in the
place, venture upon taking a piece or
two of mail-mattcr into their hands,
which they proceed to "heft" and make
shrewd computations about. Some of
the more forward lads crowd up under
the mems elbows and you can find an
odd head here, and an odd body there,
and spare leg or arm somewhere else,
which anatomically arranged, would
fairly present you with the manners
common to country boys in the postof-
! flee at the hour when the mail arrives.
In good time, the contents of the bag
are all assorted; that is to say after
waiting, and rafting. 1t would aston
ish an old Hollander himself-what a
dreadfully SloW man the country post
master is; the more there is pressing
upon him for dispatch, the less he is ac-
tuallyableto accomplish. Nothingcon-
fuses him, for hewill not permit it. Still
the miscellaneous talk about the room
does bother him, and he now and then
looks up sharply over his spectacles, as
a thorough schoolmaster looks around
his little realm of a schoolroom.
| When, at length, the critical moment
does come, he begins without the
perceptible flutter of nerve. "Mr. At
kins!" he calls out, in tone of appro-
pirate solemnity. The gentleman by
that name makes a half bow, as if he
would say, "EXcuse me for a moment,
all hands !" slips off his seat on the head
of a barrel of Genesee flour standing in
the darkest corner, and significantly
holds out his hand above the counter;
or, if he cannot pierce the crowd, file
: of good men and true pass over the doc
uments to him from headquarters, ev-
cry one of whom embraces such opor-
tunity to study the postmark as the tai
lowy flare of light affords him.
"Mr. Battles !" again sends up the
official at the desk. Everybody looks
around to find Mr.. Battles. He is
sought after with as anxious care as the
hundreth sheep that went astray. His
acquaintance explore every cornerand
Granny, look one side and then another
of the stovepipe, and finally respond,
I"Not hercw Then "Mr. Kannikin ~
He comes forward as far as the jam per-
mits him, and is put in possession of his
mail much after the style of Mr.. Atkins.
Then "NIiss Fairdale!" At which
some Of the young men exchange jokes
in low voice, while little boy--who
has been onthe lookout for his pretty
sistcr-reaches out his tawny hand and
make an effective grab forit, and carries
ii off.
On mooted points of law-especially
/ constitutional law-thc country post
/ master is strong beyond any ones esti-
mate. lie has the mother-wit to keep
Il handful ofstray old Congressional Re
ports, bound and lettered on the dusky
shelf at his back-.as well as more solid
looking copy of the Statutes, in impos-
ing calf; and, with this legal stock in
trade, he sets the town at defiance.
Even Goldsmith's schoolmaster is no
match for him in the line of "arguing
still" Not even q member of the Pres
ident's Cabinet can give an opinion with
more pragmatic precision, or deliver
himself with greater assurance ofthe in
tentions of the august Washington au
/ thoritieS. National politics take their
local coloring by being passed through
the rather opaque medium of his Off
cial commentary. fla single man con-
templates so reckless step as party
backsliding, or detection, he of all the
rest, is close behind him to make him
quake in whatever clothes he happens
to have on!
Thus does the postmaster practically
become the center of town patronage
and town consequence. All look up to
him, as they do to the village flagstaff
from which the "stars and stipes" are
in the habit of waving.
The women either like or dislike him
and that very decidedly. The younger
portion, however, are careful to drop
no syllable that can reach the postmas-
ter's family,and so make infinite trouble
for themselves.
When they trip across into the office,
they expect Il joke from him, rather sly
ly, about their distant correspondents,
which shows with what studious tho
roughness he informs himself, andwhat
a memory, passing all wonder, he has.
Indeed, it affords him intense satisfUc-
tior to poke fun ut the girls about their
beQuX, and tease them with intent to
draw forth still more Of their little love
secrets.