davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1867-12-03
llY COOPER LATIMER, Auetioners.
ID Hate clerks with Jas. &. McGuire Co 4
Southwest cerner Penna. avenue and Eisyenth n
Star Once Building
TRUSTEES SALE OF VALUABLE IMPROVED
PROPERTY ON NORTH STREET. BIZ.

TRUSTEET SALE OF VALUABLE IMPROVED
PkORERTY on MOTH STREET, BIZ.
Under and By virtue OF deed Of trn.t to the ami.
scribers, dated the 7th Of March, A. b. 1854, and
duly recorded We will sell. at public auction, to
A. D. le9, At O'Clock p m, ct the premises, part
of Lot No. 4, IN Square No 44s; the same fronting
back ia feet, with two Frame Dwelling Houses
thereon, one OF which is occupied by Mrs Fischer
three and six months from the day of sale, TO be
secured by deed OF trust upon the properly Con
chaser and 600 to be deposited when the property
- y. W. JONES
ANTON EBERLY. I Trustees.
no l9-eo&ds COOPER LATiNER Aucts
At ANHOOD Ann YCuTurUI- VIo0D -
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1867-12-03
AUCTION SALES.

II
81 cGesE t..s. L Ar AZ. q s.s.s,:.
street, star once BuI1dins. -' INV
ePkCIAB GALE oF FINE MIRRORS. PIANO
J IixFIksT issfhku sssfs AND GRais,
On fhusspAY MORNING. December s,A.
BI aio e,cioes, in iroSi Of our ssotioa R,cms.
seshsi cell large assortment OF Household Fur
One Psrlor Grand Piano Forte
Several tre Mirrors
M.lss, BSasissd: ssS " ssSsssas.
Mahogany French neosteads
Hair sno Hu Msttresses
hisi kets, Comforts aud Srresa.
I've elegant oss krtensien Dininr ratle.
srostsry sDd Gsssvzre
rcreseh, Three rls and Iasrsin Carpets
ohe Platform scales, &c, &c.
Ono rentist CABINET ccrupiete, With Iu.tru-
Term. 9ss e e..s Chair sqs ss5s,. Y.,S
oes ~ AactioBeers.
GlY COOPER LATIsER Auctiop.er.,
ID late clerks Nth }. Z. NoGoirs a 10,
street, Star Once BaiIsi6s.
THUsrEES SALE.
,,rs.s o. deed =, o. , srss e The naiersgn
y, x, No 20 folios Iss q Is9 aud al reaas., 81
the person -.cured thrreby - an .en. on an.
A d. lsa, At Z o'cioSk o. m. All that pa sif
erou1d and premises knoxu sna descri bed e. part
ofths western half q Lot So =. ia slasre 81 De-
n.- t~o story House.
Terms: OBe-tourth cash: the residue in th-..
eGesl payments az six, twelve and eightesn
from day OF safe 80 must b" paid When the srSp-
WILLIAM " METCALF. Trustee.
no @-lot COOPER LArinER, Auct-
llS COOPER a LATINER, auctione~r.,
s,ss ts,s S-rs ~ p,,s = MeSiHlrs CD
star Olhoe Building.
THNEEsToRy BRICK HoUSE aSp BACK
BUILDING No as ELEVENTH rTREEr
wESr SUB, BETWEEN AMP SIS, ~
On THURSDAY AFTERNOON. December sts
sell part Lot &c, in sQuAre seI situated tn ~s-
side % nth street between and ' strests, bsia.
front Dselling With Bsck BuiIdinr. cont.inins
sixteen rooms. bath room. two ne cellars, wAt"r
centrally located aud should demand the stteafion
Of PsIties IN :; arch Of private residences.
months, secured by a deed OF trust and notes b,sr
ing interest Al ocnveys and revenue -tsnp-
CoOPFR LATiMER.
nop dads lint aud Chron. Auctioneer..
l(Y COOPER a LATlMER. A.ctioneer.,
Southwest corner of Ponn's avenue and iiths a,
Star Once Bsilding.
TRrsTEEssAL or BRICK STORE. LEASE
FlNTuREs, &c, on THE NoRTHEksT coz
S6kfa. AT Al s tefEb Shsr AND srkkkr
b. virtue II deed OF trust. hearing date Jun. D.
A. u. lss, and duly recorded In Liter X. q. e
NO foltos us 60 III. Of the Chsttel Records %
Washington County. District Of Columbiz, \ shall
sell. on FRIDAY, necember Is. lss7. at o'closk
m, the Brick store. Lease, and Fi,turss situassd
on the northeast corner Of sth street west and a
street north.
The Store IL % feet wide by 80 feet deap with
vide yard and stable alta hed. The Lease haz
about eight wears % run This a. old established
place, and should demand the attention Of business
Terms cash.
SAMUEL L. PHILLIPS, Tru-t~.
no 2S-dts COOPER lATIMER Aucss
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1867-12-03

THOSE WHO WANT the most attractive, ele-
fant, and standard Books, at very low prices
/ should not forget the Great Book Auction this
| evening, at $40 Pennsylvania avenue, under
the Metropolitan Hotel, conducted BY
! 1921: WN. L. WALL 4 Co,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1867-12-03

HAVE reopened the CITY Market. Having
adopted the cash sy stem, 1 will sell No
articles in my line as cheap IS any N arket in
washington. Particular attention paid 10 the
curing Of Sugar. ured Corn Beef. Geo Thos.
Stewart, corner OF 18TH and streets
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1867-12-03
TOMORROW.

RH NAGLE & co, Auctioneep
u 44e 9Th street. bet. n and g. sts., Opposite
Pate INT Once.
SALE OF BILLIARD TABLES, STOyEs FUR
NITIRE. FANCY GOODS, GROCERIES
WINES. LIQUORS. &C.
On WEDNESDAY MORNING December 9Th
At 10 o clock, and evening st7l. O'Clock, we will
consisting in part Of
Zine furs Capss, Collars, Mufs, &c.
Market and Fancy Baskets.
Fine Billiard Tables, In conplet. order
(stsndard size.D
Wines liquors, Groceries, Furniture, &c.
Fine Segars and Tobacco.
de3 NiGLE g. CO., Auctsl
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1867-12-03

GRoCRRs, Spice Dealers, and Druggists, all
sell Burnetrs Standard Flavoring Extracts
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1867-12-03

u jus. v.
- Real Estate Agent and Auctioneer
omce-SoS sth street west, near north / street.
FINE BLACK WALNUT PARLoR AND CHAM
BEE FURNITURE, BRUSSELS CARPETS
OF SEPTEMBER LAST, At AUCTION.
On WEDNESDAY next, the sth day of Deoem.
Der, At l01s O'Clock a. will sell at the r. s-
eence of a gentleman who has left the city being
No oo2 north street, corner of 9th street west
hne assortment of Household Furniture, con
sisting in part Of
One Black Walnut Parlor Suit, covered with R,d
NJ =, ara esnsistlng Of two Tetea tete Sofas SIDE
ana Arm Chairs
One large French plate Mirror. With Walnut and
Gilt Frame and Marble Slab. glass s4N72I
ab yards Brussels ParlOr, Chamber. and Hall
Carpets.
= pairs Gilt Cornices. Lambroquins and Lace
Curtains.
One Black Walnut Chamber Set
Marble top Dressing Bureaus, Wsshstand- aud
One French Black Walnut Bedstead single Bed
steads and Bureaus.
Two Curled- hair Mattresses and -iaels sbucl
Mattresses.
Feather Bolsters and Pillows
Two Tucker Spring Mattresses
One large Black Walnut Pedestal Extension Ia
One No. Constitution Cook Stove and Utensils
French China, stone, Glass and Tinware.
One patent Clothes -wrineer and Washtul,s
And large number of other articles, too numer-
Gus TO INCEPTION.
The above house and lot ut private sale
Terms cash. JOS. y. KELLEY,
ot 80 Auctioneer.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1867-12-03

If YOU WOULD HAVE GOOD COFFEE TRY
an "Old Dominion" or a French Bggin, or
plain block tin C0FFEE-POT. Some think Coffee
10 better when poured from q Fire Proof Britain
MIA Coffee Pot OF drawn from an Urn. All tastes
can be suited as 20 COFFEE-POTS, TEA POTS
or CBNS, at GEORGE FRANCIS
House furnishing Store.
no 0-Tf 40 Seventh street
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1867-12-03

JOSEPH K. SHAFFigLD, 2i6 Pennsylvonia
avenue. has just received the gold ship 1T his
esta biz hment direct from the Paris Exposi-
ton. An immsnse crowd OF ladies aud gen
uemen visited his establish me n las. evening
The finest French Confectionery and other
holiday GODS JUS, opened.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1867-12-03

POUR CoBs, Durillions ct Oneles rentres
dams la chair, consulter lie Docteur Waite,
esab!i depuis 1S6l-a son ONCE No. 424 Penn
sylvania avenue, entire Ia quatrieme ct la Six.
teme rue.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1867-12-03

THE CHEAPHsT Gents Furnishing Store In
This city is francs, 44 7th street, between
u ana 4, three doors above Odd Fellows
Hall. 1lH1:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1867-12-03

DIR. WHITE, Chiropodist, s24 Pennsyl vanIa
avenue, between Four and.a-half and Sixth
streets, continues the successful treatment of
Corns, Bnnions, Bad Nails. Enlarged Joints,
Warts, Moles, Vascular Excrescsnces, &C.
Once hours from q. m. to p. N. No charge
for consultation. Established 1851.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1867-12-03

Sol DIERs' AND SAILORS UUrox the r.~u
Gar weekly meeting OF this organixstion was
held last evening. Mr.. Short offered n PESO.
fuuop, when was adopted. That the Sci
disrs' and Sailors Union do hereby heartily
ard cordially commend Maj. Buroridre 70 me
most fsvorable consideration OF the Seuas, of
she United States ~ 8 can didate for rersea ~
at arms Of that honorable body
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1867-12-03

RULH IN EI0URRs.-Ten per cent OF is
equal to lay per cent on. To learn this ruIe,
Shd 70 profi by IL, yon should visit HennIng's
One Price Glazing Store, corner 7sh stree.
ard MARYLAND avenue, before ne removes to
No. 5tl 5th street, lntelhgencer Building
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1867-12-03

nRY q o o d 3.
DRESS GOODS, VERY CHEAP.
FRENCH MrRINOES. Is cents
BEST FRENCH PSPLISs, in an tie beautiful
shades, only 81 per yard.
GOOD BLACK ALPACA, 40 cents
PLAID POPLINS extremely low.
WOOL PLAIDS. 70 cents.
CASSlMERES for Men and Boys.
CLOAkINGS for Ladies.
SPLENDID ALL-WOOL BLANKETS, $50, So
and a.
PRINTS 5, 10 and ls1s cents.
COTTONS, and 10 cents: good for leiz cents;
best - Androscoggin blesched at 20 cents; Wan
sutta, - cents.
DELAINES. Is and % cents.
An immense stock Of Goods Just arriving at the
lowest prices. hogan WYL1E,
no 30 81 329 eth St. between X and l..
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1867-12-03

LARCENY OF WATCH AND CHAIx-Da..c
lives Kelly and Bigiey yesterday arrested a
man named Andrew jackson, who came be
lore Justice Walter, charged with having sfo
len gold watch and chain from the premises
nue., on Thursday. The chain wa recovered
and the justice committed Jackson 10 Jail for
court.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1867-12-03

fernoon, empannelled a Jury and held aa IN
quest over the BODY OF BENJAMIN X. Love, th,
OLD soldier found dead near the National Gem
etsry on sunday morning The Jury rendered
o verdict 10 the effect that ne decreased ca m,
20 his dsats from exposure 10 the intense COLI
weather OF Saturday night, he then being an.
DER the inn uencs Of liquor
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1867-12-03

NJ AEHOOD AND YOUTHFUL yIeOR ere NJ.
IVA RE isnsed q AsIsSoLDs IxTlAcT BvcHV.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1867-12-03

NoTHINS can be more comfortable or deslra-
Die 20 an one OF those elegant ovsrcoats VIII
liable T. 90. Are ceiling at such reasonable
price, at re u. ). Clolhing House, 4es Penns.
ave between ID and stress. They have
evtry variety OF winter clothing, ana are
confident they can please all who give them q
call.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1867-12-03

WE NOTICED At Mr. Prigg's One Dollar
Jeweiry Store. i3e Pennsylvania avenue,
three doors from Fonr-and "a half street. q
maRnifcent variety Of holiday presents, con-
and bogwood jewelry OF every description
These goods are manufactured In the neates:
and most tasteful styles, and for Chrls,m as
presents viii prove most acceptable. MI
Prigg has over one thousand styles OF well
~ and when We remsm Der that sue b ex q uisite
articles can ba procured for such moderate
prices, ne deserves 10 and will do S very large
and increasing business
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1867-12-03

RELIGIOUS MEKTINs.-Last night q meeting
ofmemoers OF the First Con gregauonal On urch
convened At Colurn bia College Law Building,
TO take into con sideration the prOpriety Of dis
continuing the sabbath morning meetings a.
heizerott Hall. and whrsh ipping al the Capt
toi instead.
Rev. DIR. Boynton was called TO the Chair
ana j. Is Johnson acted as Secretary
resolution to the effect that hereafter the
congregation worship a. the Capitol on Sun
Gay mornings. and al Colum bia College Law
boIIoing during the week was offered by Mr.
~. M Kelsey, discussed at length, and after
Nafcs adopted by vote of 81 TO H.
Hereafter the Sunday School will b. held
~ Columbia College Law Building instead OF
Astzerott Hall.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1867-12-03

FIRST COOPERATIVE BUILDING Assocr.
Arfos.-At regular meeting Of the First CO.
operative Building Association. held last night
Al fotomsc Hail South Washington, the See.
retary ssid $500 N 100 per cent. premium:
N,3Oo ~ lCs. and Si,0O0 az I27 per cent pre-
MUM These premiums exceed any that have
hitnerto been recorded Of building ASSOCIATIONS
in washington, ard bespeak success for the
orEanizauon and for The cooperative system
generally.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1867-12-03

IHs BOARD OF FIRE CoNNIssIoNERs.-Ata
meeting OF the Board OF Fire Commissioners
neld last evening at the City Han, the resig-
nsflon OF Louis W Dorsey as superpumerary
OF NO. Z, was received and accepted. and the
regret OF the commissioners expressed az the
loss OF sucn an efficient member. Application
was Received from John T.. Entwisle for the
position OF ,sxfra-man. TAe resignation of F.
- Cation. FIREMAN of No. 3, was accep.ed
ana NJ y Basseu appointed 10 fill the va
cancy Jasper A Smith and +. Fry were ap-
pointed as extra-meD Of No. ., and VIM Belt
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1867-12-03

\ HAVE BEEN APPOINTED ASSIGNEE orr
j b. l.: Bisc6k, Bsnkrupt,) and Am resdv "a
receive elaine against him. pr perly proven Al
county. Va. ,~e a.-ssss
The Van Buren press., 1867-11-22

An old lady announced in court at
Atlanta that, 9" she had no counsel that
"God was her lawyer" "My dear mad.
am" replied the lawyer, " he does no, prac-
tice in this court"
----" Miss Smith. wish to spcal, to
you in private. Permit me to take you
apaIt for few moments. Miss Smith,
(who wasn't at all frightened =" Certain.
ly. sir. fyoa'll promise to put mc together
again"
The Van Buren press., 1867-11-22
AFFLICTED
Suffer No More!

When by the use of DR. JOINVIL, Els ELK
lR you can be cured permanently and at trihing
cost.
The astonishing success which has attended
this invaluable medicine for Physical and Nerv.
Gus Weakness, General Debility and Prostration
Loss of Muscular Energy, Impotency, or any of
the consequences of youthful indiscretion, renders
it the most valuable preparation ever discovered
1t will remove all nervous affections, depression,
excitement, incapacty to study or business loss of
memory, confusion, thoughts of sef.des,ruction.
fears Of insanity, DC 1t will restore the appetite re
new the health Of those who have DESTROYED it by
sensual excess or evil practices.
Young Men, be humbugged no more by " Quack
Doctors and Ignorant practitioners, but send
wit out delay for the Elixir and be at once restor
ed to health and happiness. Perfect Cure is
Guaranteed IN every instance. Price ST. or four
lottlcs TO one address, SO.
One bottle is sufficient to effect cure in all or.
dinary cases.
ALSO, DR. JOINVILLES SPECIFIC PILLS,
for the speedy and permanent cure of Gonorrhea
Glco urcthral Discharges, Gravel Structure, and
all affections Of the Kidneys and Bladder Cures
effected in from one TO five days. They are pre-
pared from vegetable extracts that are harmless ON
the system, and never nauscate the stomach or i'm.
prcgnatc the breath. No change of diet is neccs
sary while using them, nor does their action in
any manner Interfere with business pursuits. Price
81 per box
Either OF tie above mentioned articles will he
sent to any address, closely sealed and postpaid,
by mail or express, on receipt Of price, Address
all orders to r o. Box 4Gl, Dunkirk N. Y.
The Van Buren press., 1867-11-22

Tnr CRAB AND THg Fox.-A crab
crswled from the brook on. upon the green
grass Of q meadow. and there "isred
sump,uously." A fox happening in that
neig ghborbood saw the crab creeping along
slowly. ard thus. scornfully saluiei him:
"Sir Crab. now why DO you travel so
Iazilys How long time do YOU intend
to occupy in crossing the meadow? 1t
seems to me as il you might journey better
backward than forward
But the crab was no blockheal, aud i'm
mediately retorted. "Mr Fox. you DO not
know my nature: am wellborn and esti-
msble. lam swifter AMI nimbler than you
aud your race. Mr.. Fox. have you a mind
to run with me for wager ?"
IL should like nothing better. said the
fox. "WiIl you run from Berne to Basle,
or from Bremen to Brabant %
"Oh, no." replied the crab, "that would
be entirely too far. | should think that
were we to run half or whole mile with
each other. it would not be too much for
either Of us"
"lIa ha mile r. laughed the fox, in
contempt.
The crab resumed Il will give you q
good start. Ii you will not take il l won t
run at all.
"And how much Of start am | to
have q inquired the fox.
"Just the length Of fox" returned the
crab. "You step in front OF me, and
will stand behind you. 50 that your hind
feet may touch my nose, and when say
Now, be off, then we will begin to run
The fox was much pleased with this dis
course, and said, 81 will obey you to the
letter" And then he drew up, with his
great bushy tail fronting the crab. This
the crab grabbed with his claws, unperceiv-
ed by the fox, and called out New be of. y
And the fox did run. as he had never be-
fore run in ali his sublunary career, so that
the soles of his feet itched. And now when
the goal was reached, he turned himself a.
bout quickly ard shouted, "where are yon
now Mr. Grab? How long will you stay"
But the crab, who now stood nearer the
goal than the fox. cried out behind him,
I" Mr. Fox. what do you mean by this
talk? have been standing here for some
time and waiting for you. Why are you
so tardy ?"
The fox drew in his tail and hastily de-
parted from that locality.
The Van Buren press., 1867-11-22

CASTOR Oil is much better to soften
and redeem old leather than any other oil
known. When boots and shoes are greas-
ed with it the oil will not at all interfere
with the polishing afterwards as is the case
with lard, olive, or any other oil. In Har-
riSbuIg Pa, the old leather hose Of some of
the fire companies was CREASED with it, and
found to become almost as soft and inlexi-
ble as new leather. Leather belts for trans
hitting motion in machinery will usually
last three to five years, according to the
wear and tear they are exposed to; when
creased with castor oil they will last ten
years or more, as they always remain hexi-
BILE and do not crack Beside this advan-
tage, castor oil will prevent slipping so that
belt three inches wide impregnated with
it, will be equal to belt fonr and hall
inches without castor oil. 1t is necessary
however, to wait twenty four hours till the
oil has disappeared from the surface and
penetrated the leather otherwise the freshly
creased surface will cause slipping. The
rats and other vermin detest anything im'
pregnated with castor oil and will not
touch it,
The Van Buren press., 1867-11-22

For Remocing Superfuous Hair /,
To the ladies especially, this invaluable depila
tory recommends itself as being an almost indis.
pensbIe article to female beauty, is easily applied
docs not burn or lnlure the skin, but acts directly
on the roots. 1t is warranted TO remove superfu-
Gus hair from low foreheads, or frtm any part of
the body, completely, totally ana radically extir
patng the same, leaving the skin soft smooth and
natural. This is the only article used by the
French aud is the only real etiectual depiatory in
existence. Ircc 10 cents per package, sent post.
paid to any address, on receipt of an order to Box
467, Dnnkirk, New York.
The Van Buren press., 1867-11-22

"A crazy man was found alta grind.
stone. sharpening a large butcher knife, and
every now and then examing the edge tc
see If il was keen. "What are you
doing here y Don't you see SHARP
cning the big knife" Yes, but what are
you going to do with it when sharpenvd -
Cut old Ben. Browns head off, to be
sure What you won't kill him will
you" "Uh no I'll only cut his head
of and stick it right on again. hind side
before. just to let the old fellow look back
upon his past life y
The Van Buren press., 1867-11-22

A PHILosoPHIC YoUTH.-At an exam
ination of the children attending the Blue
Coat School, in Warrington, England. the
following questions and answers were rem
dered
Mr. Bowers (the mas:er)--In what way
did Queen Elizabeth show her wisdom ?
A scholar--The people wanted her to get
married, and she refused.
Mr. Bowers don't know that was a
sign Of wisdom! Why did she refuse
The scholai- Because she wished to have
all the power herself.
At a later period. the Rev. j. D. Mas
singham said he thought they had hardly
done the philosophie youth who had given
that answer sufficient justice. When a
woman wished to play the first fdtle, he
thought she was very wise not to ge, mar
ried.
The Van Buren press., 1867-11-22
Drugs and Medicines

TODFRY'S Cordial: Batoman'. Drors; Ieuda
NJ mum, Paregoric, McI.ane's and Fahnes,ocks'
Nurnn'use; Mclanc's, Lees, Ayers and Shallen.
burgers Pills; Pain Killer; Spalings Glue. Mnci.
lage; Browns Ess. Ginger Sedlit. Powders, Conal
Narnish; Spt's Turpentine; Linseed Oil: Sn,
salts; lampblack Marking Brushes; Bottle Corks
Indigo, Madier; Copperas; Concentrated I've,
Ext Logweo1; Yeast Powders, De, &c. For sal.
ny CO, SCOTT 20.
The Van Buren press., 1867-11-22
budget OF Scissorings.
Without the Children.


q, the weary. solemn silence
Of house without the children
U, the strange, oppressive stiffness
Where the children come no more
All, the longing of the sleepless
FOr the soft arms II the children.
All the longing br the faces
fesping thn'ugh the open door
Facss gone Eeevern,ore!
Strange il is to wake at midnight
And no, hear the children breathing
Nothing but the old clock ticking.
Ticking. ticking by the door.
Strange To see the little dresses
Hanging up there all the morning;
And the gslters-ah their pa,ttcr,
We will hear il never more
On our hearts fosaken floor.
What is lone without the children,
'Tis the earth without the vsrdure,
And the sky without its sunshine
Life is withered to the core
So we'll leave this dreary desert,
And we'll follow the Good Sheperd
To the greener pastures vernal
wherc the lambs have " gone before"
With the Sheperd evermore.
The Van Buren press., 1867-11-22
The following conversation occurred

The following conversation occurred
between graceess boy and his teacher:
"Whst does your father do when be sits
down at the table ?" ....-.
"He asks for the brandy bottle
81 don't mean that Well, then, what
does your mother do when YOU sit down at
the table p r..
She says she will wiring our necks if
We spill any grease on the floor"
The Van Buren press., 1867-11-22
-"I will not believe ANYTHING /

I'll will not believe anything but
what understand" said q selt-conident
young man in hotel one day.
"Nor will |, " said another.
Neither will I" ehimed in third.
Gentlemen said ono well known to
me, do understand you correctly, that
you will not believe any thing that you
don't understand -
81 will not said one, and SO said each
Of the trio.
Well" said the stranger, Gin my ride
this morning saw some geese in a field,
eating grass; do you believe that p
Certainly" said the three unbelievers.
81 also saw the pigs eating grass; do
you believe that?'
"Of course said the three.
"And also saw sheep aud cows eating
grass do you belieue that ?"
"Of course" was again replied.
Well, but the grass which they had
formerly eaten had, by digestion turned to
feathers on the backs Of geese, to bristles
on the backs OF swine, to wool on the sheep,
and on the cows it had turned to hair do
you believe that gentlemen p
Certainly" they replied.
Yes you believe it," he rcjoncd, "but
do you understand it?'
They were confounded and silent, and
evidently ashamed as well they might be.