Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1867-05-03

1t was very strange othihg like IL ever
happened in those mild little books with
mafbled backs, and with pictures in them OF
men with swallow tailed coats and bell
crowned hats, and pantaloons that are
snort in the legs, and women with the
waists of their dresses under their arms,
and no hoops on. Nothing like it in any
of the Sunday school books. Once he stole
the teachers penkHife-and when he was
afraid it would be found out, and he
would get whipped, he slipped. it into
George Wllson's cap---poor widow Wilson's
son, the moral boy, the good little boy of
the Villages. who always obeyed his mother,
and never told an untruth, and was fond OF
his lessons, and Infatuated with Sunday
Schools And when the knife dropped from
the cap, and poor George hung his head
and Dlushed, as if in conscious guilt, and
the grieved teacher charged the theft upon
nlms and was just 10 the very act OF bring
ing the switch down upon his trembling
shoulders, " hite haired improbable JUS
tice of the peace did not suddenly appear
In their midst and strike an attitude aud
say, Spare this noble boy--there stands
the covering culpriti was passing the
school door at recess, and, unseen myself
saw the theft eommitted.Y And then Jim
didn' get Yhaled, and the venerable JUS
tlce didn't read the fearful school a hoInily,
and take George by the hand aud say such
a boy deserved to be exalted, and then tell
Hlln W cOme anu make ulS nome Win MN,
aud sweep out the Office, and make fires,
/ and run errands, and chop wood, and study
law, and help his wife to do household
Ia3bors, and have all the balance of the time
/ to. play ~ - ~
No, ii would have happened that way in
/ the books, but it didn't happen that way o
jim. No medd1ing old clam of a justice
dropped in tc make trouble, and SO the
model boy, George. got thrashed, and Jim
was gfad OF IT.. Because, you know, Jim
hated moral boys. Jim said he was 's1own
on them milksops."I Such was the coarse
language of this bad, neglected boy. But
the strangest things that ever happened to
jim was the fine when he went Boating on
Sunday and didn't get drowned, and that
other time that he got caught out in the
storm when he was fishing on Sunday, and
didn't get struck by lightning. Why,
you might look, and look, through
the Sunday School books from now till
across anything like this. oh, no-you
would find all the bad boys who 60 boat
ing on Sunday invariably get drowned, and
all the bail boys who get caught out in
storms, when they are fishing on Sunday,
invariably get struck by lightning. Boats.
with bad boys in them always upset on
Sunday, and it always storms when bad
boys 60 fishing OH the Sabbath. How this
Jim ever escaped is a mystery to me. This
Jim bore charmed life-that must have
been the way of it. Nothing could hurt
him. He even gave heelephantin the me-
nagarie plug of tobacco, and the ele-
phant didn't knock the top of his head off
with his trunk. He browsed around, the
cupboard after essence of peppermint, and
didn't make a mistake and drink aqua
fOrtis. - qs!zsfgitf aif,f33 sft5 f93 rs kiit7
He stole his fathers gun and went a
hunting on the Sabbath, and didn't shoot
three or four fingers off. He struck his lit
tie sister on the temple with his fist when
he was angry, and she didn't linger in pain
through long summer days and die with
sweet words of forgiveness upon her lips
thatlredoubled the anguish of his breaking
heart. No-she got over it. He ran off
and went to sea at last, and didn't come
back and find himself sad and alone in the
world, his loved ones asleep in the quiet
ehurchyard, and the vine embowered home
of his boyhood tumbled down and gone to
decay. Ah, no; he came home drunk as a
piper, and got into the station house the
first thing. And he grew up, and married
and raised a large family, and Drained them
all with an axeIone night, and got wealthy
by all manner of cheating and rascali:y,
and now he is the infernalest wickedest
seoundfel IN his native village, and is uni
versally respected, and belongs to the Leg
islatHre. SO you see there never was bad
James in the Sunday School books that
had such a streak of luck as this sinful Jim
with the charmed life.J - tiH1fls' "a 9t3i