The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1867-05-03
1o1 1o1REMOVAlIi
SPARE LIHEs, s'L
"Asocial posy--the dandy 'lion..a

~ social posy-the dandy Nom ."
The skeleton in the elossi-.hs remain.
Of yesterdays turkey. ',''' 'S',' ,"'''" -"
A man in London lost his wife al a game
ofpOker. His wiie held the poker. nv
+shure, which & tho in,rsncs ou,!'' asked
an frishman a. tho Music Hall. =. .,,,.,, ID.
"A, sailor who, received a blovips.up 'frou
his girl, calls her . wiud.lass. - !" .,rn' d
litis . pity that the character dsssnt al.
ways like tho hair, grow whiie with ags."r
Why was Job 20 thoroughly boiIed9 Be.
cause his wife kept him In hot water. I'r,F
lfa young man likes 4 girl, be should
give her present. lf no loves her, be
should offer her future. " IL,
,"Whst h light,''' asked q sehoolmaster
"a sovereign lhat isn't full weight y light =
was the reply. n,m,a o,..is ,r, o, .ail
At q recent public. meeting IN Manchesa-
er, !, was resolved that sall persons 10 town
owning dogs shall be nuEsled."" gro, -
A fashionable, but iguonn, lady. dcslr.
Gus Of purchasing watch. was shown q
very beautiful one, the shop keeper remark.
Ing !, wen, thiry-six hours "Wbat, IN one
day?" she asked. r.;-.,,u ,,,... ..o
A teacher Of vocal music, asked an old
lady ifher grandson had any ear fsr music.
.ws'al," said the old woman, ~, rally
don't know; won't you just take the candle
and seei'' ... ..op 81 r.r
A gentleman called TO SEQ q tenement
that was to be let It was shown him by Z
pretty, chatty woman, whose manners
charmed her visitor. "Aro you to bo let,
ioo7" inquired he, with languishing
look. "Ycs." said she, 81 am; I'm to Be
let alone.
If your sister, while tenderly engaged 10
a tender conversation, with her tender
sweetheart, asks you to bring glass of wa.
ter from an adjoining room, you can start
on the erand, but you need not return
You win not he missed. that's certaln-we
have seen Il tried. Don't forget this, little
boys. '''..
In depot Is placard announcing tNo
smoking" posted over an oil lamp. Two
lrishmen appear, ono smoking. "Pa',''
Gays the Other, "Ye're transgrcsain' the
rules Of the establishment, ye arc" elbow
is ,ba,'" says tho smoker. aDont you SEQ
there-no smokins7" .Yis; but can't 'ye
see, ye spalpeen, the remark Is addressed to
the lamp" .'' .'..
Old Roger was visiting friend, who had
remarkably fine little girl about three
years old, famous for smart saying. A
usual, she was shown of before our esteem.
Cd friend. "What is papa?" said the "par.
ient," In order to draw out the precious
child. "Psps's blockhead!" said the ju.
venile. II declare" said old Roger. al
never in my life saw 80 young a child with
% mature Judgment" 49, ''.'' '.' '"'
An Irish hos,ler was sent to the stable to
bring out travellers horse, but not know.
ing which Of the two strange horses In the
stalls belonged to the traveller, and wishing
to avoid the appearance ofignorance In his
business, he saddlod both animals, and
brought. them to the door. Tho traveller
pointed out his own horse, saying, "ThatS
my nag" Certainly, yer honor. ! know
that very WE'LL" said Pat, @but ] didn't
know which was the other son.lemans''
Mature furnishes animals suited to all lat.
itudes and eonditions-the elephant for In
dia, the camel for the desert, the horse for
Us. the reindeer for the high latitude Of
Europe, and tho dog for Greenland. Il d
wonderful how well each 10 adapted to In
place; tho machinery ofa watch Il not moro
%. What would tha reindeer with is feet
fitted for suows do on shs deseu7 VIVA,
the camel with IL water pouch fitted TO the
desert, on tho suow banks! Dr.. Hayes do.
soibss his dog team q surprising b eslor-
i,y our fastest horses, whirling over tbe
Greenland ice 6 miles in % minutes, end
returning in 81, OF - miles 10 hess than an
hour. guided al the way by tho whip and
tho voice. -.. ...t-.r 70. .',-.