The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1867-01-22

Howsweet to recline in the lapse of ages
say aged shout eighteen, -Loitiscilte DEM
0crat.
Why is Reform like a Gazelle? Because
itis a Bright,eyed deer. = London Punch.
1t is probable that congress will finally
s4deny the soft impeachment"
A New York poet says 'the Atlantic
Telegraph Cable makes a bed of the ocean
and pillows of the two continents"
A Boston clergyman who "cannot shut
his eyes to the abomination any longer" is
preaching against fitting hoops. So
Forney is indulging himself with the hind
quarters of buffalo heifer the: representa-
tive for New Mexico has given him. For
ney is fond of heifers, but prefers them be-
fore they are quartered-Boston Post.
Carrie Schurz, the German editor of the
Detroit Post, has a good deal Of talent He
discusses many subjects with ability, but IN
politics he is an Amsterdam, Rotterdam,
Rotterdam fool.-L0u. jour.
Charles H. Smith-Bil Arp--has been
| elected mayor of Rome, Georgia.
| 1t is true that reporters sometimes make
nonsense of speeches. but it oftener happens
that they make speeches of nonsense
| Two more of the Butler suits are before
| the New York courts 900 claimed for
false Imprisonment, and $l75,000 for con-
version of property, sz-ss..z 81,
Son, on bust, left his fathers house and
strayed some days; but he returned, and
sire to dame thus spoke: "Wife, kill the
prodigal, the calf's returnedr'
Stevens wants to come down still heavier
on the south. We begin to feel sorry that
sour boys ever burnt Thad's iron MILL
Southern paper.
| A gentleman Just returned from Mexico
says that 'things are nearly as bad there as
in the United States"
i A little fellow going to church for the firs
time, where the pews were very high, was
asked, on coming out, what he did In church
when he replied; II went into a cupboard
and took seat on the shelf.
If each one of the twenty millions of PEG
pie in the north would destroy FIVE cen
currency note daily it would amount to
million of dollars a day towards the re
moval of the national debt.
The N. Y. Erening Express has the an
nexed cool one. We hardly think it Wa
, made expressly for that journal: .-a
"Fortune-tellers and tilting-hoops operat
differently. The former reveal what the lad
, will be in the future the latter reveal wha
: she is at present"
A New Bedford lady recently wrote to
. Boston publishing house for copy of "Ge
lert; or, Trust in God" and received, for re
| ply, ''There is no Trust In God in Boston.
r The Philadelphia Bulletin REPUBLICAN
9 says the election of Cameron will lead to tn
= certain destruction of the republican unio
c party of Pennsylvania.
There is something exquisite in an Amer
{ cans reply to the European traveller, whe
; "Wal, now you call my attention to the fact,
u guess did pass risin ground"
fl Three men were in company-Strang,
|. Wright, and Moore. Says Wright-"Ther
e | is but one rogue amongst rs, and that
e strange" NO. says Stranger-.'there
. one more gay" says Moore-'that
| rightr - Ia .---'E.
: you labor overmuch in your composition
:, doctor, said fippant clergyman to a ver
cradle divine. Il write a sermon in tire
: hours and make nothing of it, $50 you
> congregation saws, returned the doctor.
as it possible, Miss, that you don't kno'
the names of some of your best friends p II
quired gentleman of a lady. Certainly,
II she replied, Il don't even know what nv ow
shall be a year hence Y
A Binghampton revivalist looking for r,
cruits, found large sized African and asl
ed him: Have you found the Lord ~
Darkey Cooley massa, is de Lord lost 2
= A gentleman in the springtime of hf
e when walking with "a lady, stumbled and fel
: | On his resuming hisperpendicularity the lad
v remarked. "She was sorry for his unfortunai
= taur pas Il didn't hurt my four paws sal
s he, Il only barked my knee"
!, The following is going the rounds as
domestic drama: Scene Mother in ii
= cellar splitting wood. Scene Il-Daught
= in the parlor. singing to Clarence FitZ-Nood
: the pathetic ballard of ''W-ho Shall Care f
= Mother Now
10 Now, then, my heartes," said gala
D. captain, you have a tough battle before yo
re Fight like heroes till your powders gon,
lie then-run I'm n little lame, and I'll sta
r now.
a A California editor, participating in a d
~ bate as to the best method of building a &C
~ tain bridge, objected to Golfer dam for ma
ing the pier. He said he always formed
prejudice against the thing; his uncle on
70 had a COW choked with a turnip, and for
IN long time it was thought she would cof
G. dam head IF.
no A California wife writes to her husband
ID the interior: Dear Sir: 1t may be prop,
to and perhaps my duty, to inform you that t,
is months ago / succeeded in getting my
tv vorce from you, and also that / have m.
s. ried again. You may continue your mon
ID ly remittances, as | may need them for yo
an three children
rh
N T0.0aV's Adverfisem'f