The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1867-04-25

1I,irs nil NV en-, wuZ CroWnln the
';'',jj Johnson fur II miShun; Cowan
1",'n,ij "A mishun, and SO did Doonttle,
WI lint day pretty much all NV the
g jII',. t to the Cleveland and Phila-
join6ia ConvenShunS he'd bin there
wnntin some kind NV Il place; wat, they
wuzn't particular. One gentleman
I whose nose (Which trooly blossomed eZ
the lobsterl betokened long service in
the party, urged that he he'd bin dele
gate to both convenshunS. "Thank
| God ~ sed johnson. "WOod that both
NV them conversions he'd hin made up
NV the same men. wood then hev bin
bored fur places only half as much eZ
am"
wuz helpin him out in my weak
wav. When the crowd wantin places
| become too great for human euuOor-
auce, would say, in mOdrit tone,
let's 20 ont and git suthin," and to-
wuust fully half wood eXclaim, THANK
WOO, / don't keer eff do 1t wuz
great relief to johnson, but wuz pizen
! on me. With the most NV EN-, the an
ruish. anxiety and SolisSitude in the
.ettin OF otliseS and free drinks wuz
about an ekal thing. The othses they
wantid wuZ merely the means to that
pertikeler end, and SO long ez they wuz
SIttin the latter without the trouble NV
| the former, they wuZ content. \ good
constitution and II copper ltneu Stun
mick carried me thrO this tryin Ordeel,
until came across Il Boston applicant,
who, in conscience NV the perhtbitory
! law, he'd bin for some time on short ra-
Shens, and wuZ Keen set. Napoleon
he'd then met his WellintOn, aud sue
cumd. The mans talent wuZ wonder
| full.
Secretary Seward wuz in trouble
about the Blair family, pertikerly. He
he'd did his level best for EN-. He he'd
appinted EN- to CUllekterships aud fur
rim mishuns, but the crooel SENT, wlch
ned no reSpeck for us, took detlte III
fastening NV EN- onto us by perpetOoai-
\ ly reiectIu EN-. jest after Il long serge
| by Montgomery and the old man, l
! SejeStId the purchiS NV the RooShln
I Territory, to witch not only they Good
| be sent, but Al thousand NV others wich
we he'd on our hands, and the Secretary
WIZ SO pleased at the idea that he wept
like child. With vigger wonderful
| in one so old, lie set about gitttn testi-
mouiuls ez TO the valyoo NV the terri
! tory, 10 inilOOence the SENT i'll ratlfyln
| the treaty he WIZ ugOiu to make. And
| lie wrote tOa naval ottiSer about It, who
answered more promptly than l ever
F., lSnowed naval oiliser to do, ez follows:
Its trnoly splendid country. The
trade i'll the skins NV white bears kin
! be, eff properly developed, made ennr-
nous. There is seals there, aud wal
/ Tuses so tame that they cOme up NV
! their own nkkord to be ketched.
up. S. In case the purchis ShoOd be
made, n naval stashen will be necces-
Sary. May hope that my long SER
vices on the Floridy Coast would prove
sufficient recommendation for the COM
inand of the depot" May l?
| al hev the honor TO be-" &c.
\ distinguished Professor wrote:
I tine climate is about the style Nv
that they hev in Washington. The
I Gulf Stream sweeps up the coast, cHusin
"a decided twist in the isothermal line,
| wien hez the etfPck NV making it ruther
-Gltry than otherwise. Anywheres for
six hundred miles back NV the coast
Strawberries grow in the open air. l
/ recommend strongly the purchis.
up. :. In case the purchiS is made Il
eXPlOrin eXpedishun will be necessary.
| May hope that my scientitick uttnin-
meutS are sufficiently well known to
/ 700 to reckommend meas IL proper per-
7 son to he'd the expedishun? May 1? l
/ hev the honor TO ne, ct settry.
The President wuZn't fHvurably in
, clined. He WIZ ful! NV the old fOgy
I idea thatit wUz rather chilly there than
otherwise. He hedn't faith in thu isoth
ermaI line, and wuz skepticll about the
Gulf Stream. II wuZ his experience
that the further North 700 got the cold
er it wuZ. For instance, he remarks.
that while the people wuZ warm toward
him in Nirginnv and Maryland, last
/ fall, they become very cold eZ he got
| North. Wher wuZ the isothermal line
and the Gulf stream then?
Randall, who will hev his joke, re-
markt that the isothermal line twisted.
/ He notist that the people made it ez hot
/ for eu eZ he wantid it eZ far north eZ
| Cleveland, to wich Secretary Welles
! replied that it only confirmed him in
I the opinion that, tor platin vessels NV
war, iron wuz preferable TO pine plank
[ any time.
Seward removed the Presidents OBJ
I iectiOns to wunst. He read his letters
I wich set forth the beauties and advun-
taEes NV the country twict over. Here
I wuZ whales, and walrusses, and seals,
and white bears, and apples, and
/ wheat, and sea lions, and fields of ICE
/ the year round, in II climate eZ mild
and equable eZ the meridian NV Wash
ington. Tue isOthermHl line wuZ more
accomOdHtin ther than in any other
part of the world. 1t cOrk-screwed
through the territory so eZ to grow fine
peaches for expectation to the States,
and ice to the Sandwich Islands, side
by side. He drawd pictur NV the
white bear rushin over the line and
disporlin hisself in fields Nv green peas.
Imagine, he remarked, the deliCacy NV
Polar bear meat fattened on strawber.
rles-thinE NV the condishun the sea
lions must be in wich leave their wntry
lairs to feed on turnips wich grow
above the 6Oth parallel-thiuk NV
at won't do" sed the President.
"Think Nv" retOrtid the SECRETARY
r. ioL- nil iOf
THINK Wv GETTIN RID Wv BLAIRs FOR
EVER"
"Will the Ablishn SENT rntify the
treaty?" asked Johnson eagerly.
II converst with many on the sub
jick, and they sed eff we Good promise
that the Biairs wood accept pOsishens
ther they wood do it cheerfuIly. For
SIGH IL purpose, sed one NV em to me,
81, 900, OJO0 is mere bagatelle."
"I'il do it," sed johnson. II agree
with the Senators for once. Rather
than hev it fail I'd pay it out NV Mrs.
CObb's share in our jint spekelashens.
Freedom from the Blair family! Good
Hevings! kin one man be so blest? Is
Their SIGH in store for me? $1,000, 900!
Pish!''
My Opinyun helm askt give it. En-
hefty eZ the venCher is from COM
mershl stan-pint, in a politikle pint NV
view, the advantages will be still
heltier. The ROosiu territory will
finally be the chosen home NV the
Dimocrisy. Their is already popula-
shen there adapt to us, who kin be
mantpulatedwithouttrouble,and thecli-
init Is favorable 10 strictly Democratic
p0Pu!ashan. The trouble with US here
Is that the amount of likker necessary
20 the ihanuiakter NV a Democrat kills
MN aiote ne hezn opportunity NV vOtin
Petooal minority. Our strength is, for
climatic reason, our week.-Mrs.. Far diff
ierent is it in Roosha Their the happv
native may drink his quart per day