Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1867-08-15

GENES MUNRO ON THE COw.MILKER.

MISSISSIPPI, WHAT UsTER BE) June, 1867.
Editers Southern Kultirater Il war sittin kahn
ly at home, enjoyin the sweet repose of being un-
der my own vine and fig bush-smoking my pipe
and ruminatin over the ups and downs Of this here
present onsartin xistence, with Rhody An by my
side noddin and nittin by turns-that is ter say,
Rhody war doin this latter-when she begun, dur
in wake interval, in this wise "Gemes, my dear,
why don't yer move outer sight that Buggy Plow
karcass? Thar it sets, knocked up agin the same
stump, whar it got smashed more'n year ago
faint done our family any good. Their sight of il
gives me the hippo makes Robert swear, and you
yerself amt the same man when you passes that
stump-wish you hide that kontrapsion or burn
it up-we amt had no luck since its been here. II
ar monimint of your foolishness, Gemes and will
hant the happinis of this here family as long as il
stays here ought ter be warnin to us all-that is
ter say-warnin ter you particular. Says l,
"Have yer got any more Gift Enterprises to sell
now, Rhody2" Give er puff with my pipe, and
sorter looked round ter see how she'd take that
Howsever, she war noddin, and war glad fur
had ventured on tender .sabjeck-one in which
didn't keer to skirnish words with Rhody, KNOWN
i'd come out I'd best, and have to surrender thout
diskresion know'd what war the better part Of
waller, having found out long ago twont do to ag-
gervate folks Of the fernah persuasion. They ar :
quer sorter mixter, anyhow-got kreation by thu
back er the neck now Talk er bout yer Lord
of kreation!" Aint they Sardaaes besides yer Mis-
Lucy G. Stone Whales? "Weaker vessels!"
say, berhold woman rapid progressive strides W
4 -. lo,4 4ho~. Call o@xo oIra
snach herself from the wash tub, ther kichen fir
or darnin or stocins-"et i'd omnus gene,7fbus''-
and light on top Of er horse, gwine round with NJ
DIS saddle-bags, feeling pulses and givin pills
pukes and latin perskriptions-standin up in th'
pulpit and trying ter explain ther Book, what say
they ought ter 'be SILENT" or else, with krackir
toes, kommunicatin with spirit hero's of anuthe
world-liftin up the future veil, and tein yer thou
fail, who you're goin to marry for IS. You'd skast
expec one of their sex ter perkaim in public on any
tex but they do. Yes, sir, berholdL. L. D. NJ
D. Amy Dickerson.spoutin out from the phorun
on permiskuous understanding the shade o
Dermosthernes git shadier in shame. Whittier
oh whittier, ar We poor men .tolks er drifin.
Rhody drapped her nitt;n, which woke her up
and stopped my Negotiations on above dangerous
grounds "Whats that you said bout Gift Enter
!. prise, Koln Munro" said Rhody. I didn't ik'
that "Kumel," aforesaid. Want glad, when
her ad Robert ak, at the back door, "Whar's dad
dy," and didn't git up quick and go see what th'
boy wanted. Folks git in a hurry some times flu
particular reasons and Ihad mine, just then
I did, Bob had just come from the Depo, ant
lbrung me letter and little box "Wel, [ tucl
!, the things and went back to whar Rhody war sit
tin. "Sakes er live, Genes, what's that yer got
this time?" "Box and q letter" saysI "Don'
, put the box down so near me, said Rhody, Il
might be Torpeder shore enuf, ter blow up thi
naborhood, fur sarvin that Yank Skool Marste
so--wish Sal Morrow had never bin born" Well
I busted open the letter, and red ther kontents te
, Rhody, which went runnin in this wise:
"Copn GENES Mitnro-I have seen your satiri
cal structures on the "Sulky Plow," unjust as
conceive them, and take the liberty Of this day ez
pressing you small patent machine, OF recent in
i vention for which am sole Agent, trusting here
r by to convince your biased Southern mind that on
good thing, at least, can come out OF this our Naa
areth. only ask that you give it fair trial, an
canddy state its merits through the public prints
have the honor, &C., &C.,
R. NJ JONES, JR, Agent -.
n For Colvin's Patent Cow Mixer. ="
o "P. S-Minute directions &c., accompany; .,
y Yours, r. NJ. j."
'Didn't he say kow-milker, GENES" Eyes,
1 says 1. Gracious goodnis" said Rhody, "i
IS must be live thing-throw the kontrapsion in tn
7 fire. I bet its full er snaiks, lizards, skorpians
l. and thousan things ter kill folks with" mo,