The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1867-05-09
Written for the Evening Post.
MIKE PLUFFER.

his ways Of hugging and kissing the
sweet dear creatures, regardless of the
presence of mama Or papa, was, "Nlike
you're crazy"
This expression, though inn nocently
intended to mean something like re-
proof, whilst an arch smile on their
pouting lips approved the act, did not
fail at least to reach the ears Of some
gossiping old maids, whose personal
charms failed to induce Mike to serve
them the same way. The malicious and
vindictiye epithets of those love lost
maidcnS who have reached the brown side
Of thirty-fve without receiving the
caress Of husband, invariably become
man-hdtcrS, and appear ever tenaciously
engaged in preserving that virtue which
they still appear anxious of possessing.
They never miss an opportunity of cast
ing insinuations dark and dangerous,
upon some pair of y0aHg hearts, whose
bosoms swell with delight as they steal
kiss in the dark, renew their pledges of
fidelity, and feed the vestal flame which
is one day or other to light the torch at
Hymens altar This was the fate of
poor Mike. One old maid told another
old maid, that she heard peddler say,
that a married lady in the country was
told by travelling tooth carpenter, that
circuit rider told a class-leader not to
say anything about it, but that it was a.
fact, and commonly reported by a mil
liner girl and two grannies, who heard
lady say she really believed "Mike
Plufer was crazy"
In short time the report took the
Swings Of the morning. and spread
over the whole village and country, and
as matter of course, came also to the
ears of Mike, himself, who no sooner
heard it than he resolved to make capi-
tai of it in his accustomed humorous
tricks upon the people. He all at once
affected the air and actions of a lunatic,
in sufficient degree to favor his de-
signs, and gave credence to the report
by an eccentric style of dress, and
strange expressions. He would kiss
the girls more frequently than before,
set water pals on top Of half closed
doors, aud slipping unobserved into the
kitchens, put hair in the biscuit dough
of the cooks, to cause a general "rum-
pus" in the household affairs. Some
times he would cut hole in the corner
Of pillow and put large black bug in
the feathers, sew it up again, and put it
on an old maids bed, the crawling of
the insect when ones head is upon the
pillow, causes a strange and appalling
noise not to be accounted for by the
superstitious, and would seldom fail to
make them believe they were bewtched.
1t was a warm summer evening, and
Mike was seen strolling along the
suburbs of the village, hat in hand, the
collar Of his coat thrown back on his
shoulders, shirt collar unbuttoned, wear
ing no vest, his handkerchief hanging
half yard out of his coat pocket, cuffs
turned back as far as possible, no socks
on his feet, and his slippers down at the
heel At little distance behind him,
was seen long, tall, three story look
ing sort of a fellow, whose dangling
legs, which hung upon each side of an
Indian pony, hardly sufficient in height
to keep his feet off the ground, might,
at a glance, have been recognized as one
of the coal-burners who support mis-
cradle existence between the man and
the brute on the pine barrens some
three miles from our village.
"Good evening, Honeycut.." said
Mike, as soon as the knight of the kiln
came within hailing distance
"Good evening Mr.. Plufer," was
the response which was whined rather
than spoken by the picture of leanneSs.
"Honeycut," said Mike, 81 have been
walking until am very tired; will you
have the. kindness to let me ride behind
you into town?'
"Why sartinly, Mr.. PluGer, jest git
up and you are as welcome as the flow
ers of May"
No sooner said than done, and Mike
with one bound vauIted upon the back
of the poney, and in the rear of the
man of coal dust.
Profound silence ensued for some
time as they rode along, for Honeycut
had heard the report of Mixes lunacy,
and he was one of those superstitious
towards, who always fear graveyards
and magnify the shadow of old trees,
after dark, into the form Of hobgobins,
ghosts and devils. Besides this Mike
had given him a tremendous drubbing
some two months since, aud he was
apprehensive of renewal of the past.
Mike at last broke silence by tapping
him gently upon the shoulder and
saying
"Honeycut, old fellow, we've had a
little difficulty some time ago, but am
perfectly friendly now, and would not
injure hair of your head. | think as
much of you as my best friend, and
would not do anything to hurt you for
the world"
"Why, no, l don't believe you
would" said Honeycut, as he stole a
suspicious glance over his shoulder.
! ''No, I would not; yet | suppose
you have heard of my misfortune, have
you notp
"Why I think / did hear something
of it." replied the timid one, Gas his