davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1867-09-13
MISCELL NEOUs,

HELMBOLD7s CONCENTRATED EXTRCAT
BUCHU
Is the Great Diuretic.
HELMBOLD's CONCENTRATED EXTRACT sARsAPRILLA
Is the Great Blood Purifier.
Pharmacy and Chemistry, and are the
most active that can be made.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1867-09-13

MANHOOD AND YOrTrFTLL VIGOR arc
reg med by llELMDoLD' 5 EXTRACT BUBI.U
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1867-09-13

HELMBOLD' $ FLUID ENTRSrT BUCHU IS
pleasant in taste and odor. free from ali i'll
furious properties, and Immediate in its
action
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1867-09-13
The PLAIN DEALER.

Local Notices, loaded, $3.50 per s4''are
feach insertion.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1867-09-13

JOB WORK of all kinds promptly and neatly
executed ut the Plain Dealer eihce on 'he host
reasonable terms.
The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1867-12-07
& WOOD,
NV. COR. EIGHTH AND FGLRERT SITS.
HAVE JUST OPENED

NV. COR. EIGHTH AND F1LRERT sTs..
HAVE JUST OPENED
large lot of Silk Fans very cheap,
Gilt Stick SILK Fans, for the opera.
Handsome Papier Mache Work Boxes and WrItInS
Desks very low, 25 per cent less than importers'
prices.
Watch Stands Ink Stands, Cigar Cases, Glove
Boxes Wax Dolls, etc.
A large assortment Of Hdfs very cheap.
Ladies' Embroidered Hdkfs.
Ladies Lace Hdkfs.. 40c, &C., Soc, e. 9125 $3.50 a.
Ladies Hem stitch and Tucked Hdk fs., very cheap
Gents Hem-stiched and Colored Border Hdks
large lot of Porte-monARies, very cheap Isc
25c., Slc., &c., 40c., 50c., 65c.. 75c, s5c., 81.
Velvet and Berlin Wire Purses. very cheap.
a large lot OF Ladies' Companions, 4Oc 5Oo., CSC
75c., sl25, $3.50.
A new lot of Gents Neck Ties, sic.
A large assortment of Hosiery and Gloves.
Ladies', Gents, and Children's Merino Shifts and
Drawers.
All-wOol and Domet Flannels.
Heavy Shaker Flannels, 25c., s3c 4Oc., and SOC,
Bleached and Unbleached Canton Flannels
Bleached and Unbeached Muslins.
Table Linen, Napkins, and Towels, very cheap
PRICE a. WOOD,
2ismwtJll N. w. Cor. EIGHTH and FILBERT.
The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1867-12-07

peaceably. The most freduent b. B. Is the man
VINO mas been united TO woman more OF q
man than he is himself, and has the discretion
10 perceive IL. She is his custodian. treasurer
nnancler, counsellor, guide, and friend. There
her advice about the propriety of cOurting her
and that before he popped the question he
hfst asked her If she thought IL would be the
proper thing TO do. She had to give him direc.
tions about the wedding tour the ordering of
all matrimonial proceedings. From the order
Ing OF the cradle to the naming of the baby,
he never yentured TO think for himself, and he
mas Deen known to run back, after leaving the
mouse, ask her whether she thought IL better for
him to,breathe through his mouth or through his
mestic affairs, is never Invited, except through
his wife; II any person wishes n donation from
MN MIN i9r any charitable purpose, Mrs B. ~ Is
epplled 10 at once, TO save trouble and ctrcum-
locution. The servants snub him, and the
children disObey him. which sometimes irrl-
formly complains to his wi e; and she, after due
investigation, decides who is in the wrong, and
Ieprlmands accordingly. Many may think this
latter species OF b. B. very miserable lndi.
vtdual, but they are grievously mistaken. He
ing, dare maintain:his right to wear the matri-
THE MoRAL BABY is of that numerous class
OF imbeciles who, not being law to themselves,
pin their consclences on other peoples diota.
The NJ. b. lives in a state of continual terror
from hearing the bugaboo stories of the sensa-
ton manufacturing dry nurses of public
morals and propriety The staggering question,
"Is IL a sin TO take snufT?' asked with soul
narrowing seriousness, has been known to
Tighten the discretionless M b. into connip-
tion fits, and the fearfully momentous query,
"Is IL proper TO pick ones teeth on Sunday?"
has oft induced hydrocephalus in the babes of
the moral nursery. The M. b. never AYERS that
chicanery or peculation is wrong because 10 is a
sin against God and our neighbor, but merely
because that IL is accounted so by society. SO IL
Is mat when certain forms of vice become fash
ionable, the M. b. will practise them without
the least feeling of cOmpunctlon, and she who
would not for camel's hair shawl be seen prone
nading Of Sunday, will not hesitate to commit
modulated child murder.-N. Y Mercury.
The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1867-12-07
"JAMBO REE.n
BY JOHN HAPPY.

BY JOHN HAPPY.
Young jam Bo- Rec, boy about thirteen years old
son TO the bar-keeper OF the Phrecaneezie Saloon
remained at his post IN the back room lin a single
broken up in general BUST aud every ShaSdp nae
been a6anaSned except his own and that of one
The boy held on to the greasy "deck,"
Whence all but him had fled;
The lamp threw its light on his last red check
And he hadn't another "red."
Yet beautiful and bright he sat,
AS born to win or lose;
With the ace of trumps hid under his hat,
And "bower" or two in his clothes.
The game went on-he would not ego"
Without his fathers word;
That father, drunk on the floor below,
His voice no longer heard. So
He called aloud-"Say, daddy, say
Hadn't better go it alone p d"
He knew not that the ohieftain lay
Unconscious of his son.
"speal, father l'' once again he cried,
'I'm playing my best for even
"And' but the man on the other side
"Ordered him up on the seven."
His countenance fell when his ear caught that,
But it wasn't time to grieve;
So he played him the ace from under his hat,
And the fright bower" out of his sleeve.
And he shouted loud once more at last,
"My father must stay ?''
While o'er the table, thick and FAST
The futtering 'pasteboards' play.
The tallow-dip burned fitfully wild
And flickered up on high,
And cleaned in the face of the gallant child,
And nearly blinded his eye.
1t fickered up and fickered down,
And at last disappeared in the socket;
And the man at the table, who 'hailed from
town.
Slipped all of the stakes in his pocket.
And then with burst of thunder sound
He kicked over table and chairs,
And cleared the door with single bound
And slid down the bannister stairs.
The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1867-12-07

are estimated at ], 800 600 francs There can
be no doubt that the grasping meanness and
misfnanagement Of the Imperial Commission
must be held responsible for his failure. This
is not the only instance in which they ratr-
cidaIly killed the gousset with the golden eggs.
MEIANcHoLY.-A correspondent wishes us to
tell him what sort of salad norman and mer-
maid hugging each other would be taking
Then, without waiting for an answer, he says,
"Water.c(a )resses." To aggravate the insult
he adds that he is an old soldier himself at
dry humor, but sends this to Fun because the
latter is a wetter-'un.
"THE best substitute for silver''-Gold.
The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1867-12-07
@~O
S41UR0M 0MIS4a Nle4a tSS}zs
'O" SDPPES sES>'
t. NUMBER CXLIX.

A DIET FOR MENTAL DYsPEFTIcs, AND I'D a NV 1O""
VoR HY-PoCHoNDRIA, Hf-POChaor, ~ l1,o,s, w ~
COMPLAINT OF A ny ORDER
The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1867-12-07

COMPILED BY OUR SERIES EDITOR.
The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1867-12-07
WANTS.

WTANTED, BY A LARGE DRY GOODS
wv JoBBING HOUSE, a Firstclass SALES
MAN. To an active, energetic man. who can control
an extensive trade, liberal salary viii be given
Address In confidence. with real name
ER-T.,
12A6tE Al this ONCE,
The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1867-12-07
,pIal1 oE The LONDON COMIC wEEKLILs.

Bbonl Funch
Fp1scopAL PERFUME-The Bishop of New
York has been much pleased with his visit to
Old England. Specially has he been delighted
With his brother hierarchs. One piece of in
formation which the good Bishop gives will
he interesting to most persons :"He had
visited the palaces of several of the Bishops,
and the atmosphere which prevailed at these
blessed places was such as to cause glow of
happiness TO take possession of ones soul"
win any of Mr.. Punch's Episcopal friends
'(he has many) inform him how this blessed
atmosphere is generated, and where the mate
rial can be procured, and whether the same
result can be obtained in q secular mansion
The "savOr of such good ointments" would be
worth cultivating. 1t must be much nicer
thing than the odor of sanctity, which Popish
saints prepare by mastery inaction in the
matter of salvation. Would NM. Plesse and
Lubin, or M. Rimmel call upon one or two of
the bishops and investigated We predict great
popularity for Bouquet de Bishop.
Nor SAID AT THE SYNoD.-The Bishop of
Gregory said good thing recently. An enthu-
siastically Ritualistie young lady showed him
q charming photograph of group of hand
some young curates decked out in all the
lovely church millinery of sentimental schism.
''ThOse are Anglicans, " she said. "No," said
his Lordship, smiling; "but l may say that
though non Angli, they whould be AngeIi-si-
1 beg pardon for Latin, my dear-f they ooere
only Christians"
MILITARY lETBLLIGENcE.-It is with satisfac-
GOn that we announce that the Rifed Popgun
is about to be placed in the hands of the In
fantry. As an arm of precision, this breach
loader will, no doubt, be great improvement
on the noisy but ineffective weapon hitherto
employed in the Nurseries of British Valor.
THE GREATEST OF OUR PEERs.-What an
enormous size Lord Granville must be
Speaking of him at the Paris Exhibition ban
quet, the newspaper says, ellis Lordship
filled the ROOM"
The HARVEST OF THE SEA.-When did the
ancient Greeks find it profitable to plough the
ocean? In the days Of Ce-orops.
From Judy.
NOT FOR JONES.
Said Tom Brown to Jones, cit is really worth
while ...a.
In these shares to invest-come, take six;
The company means to dredge mud from the
Nile,
And make Of it excellent bricl1s.'
''NO, no." answered Jones, 'I'm not quite
fool,
Though do not set up for wit;
But l cannot forget that / learnt when at
school,
Ex nihil, Tom, nihil fit,'
QuERY.-A piece at one of the theatres is
extensively advertised as follows;-JlaR IS not
perfect nor l0oman neither. If two negatives
make positive, the grammar here is not per-
feet. We suggest change-nor ,oOmdn either.
1t may, however, be delicate compliment to
the sex.
"OH WHAT FALL WAS THERE, MY COUNTRY
MEN ''-What difference is there between a
child that tumbles from the top landing to the
bottom one and a traveller visiting Niagara
One falls down the stairs, and the other stares
down the Falls.
The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1867-12-07
SPECIAL NOTICES.

t9g@ NEWSPAPER ADVERTISING. JOY
CoE CO.. Agents for the "TELEsRAPH'
and Newspaper Press of the whole country, haveRE-
MOVED from FIFTH and CHESNUT Streets to No,
l44 s. SIXTH Street, second door above WALNUT.
OFFIcEs:-No. l4 8, SIXTH Street, Philadelphia;
TRIBUNE BUILDINGS. New York. 78Oa4p
The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1867-12-07
TO RENT.
THE MECHANICAL
i IA U n ID R q % ~ y A N Y,
PHILADELPHIA,
IEG0RPORATED 1867.

. CAPITA lOOSOOOs
9UBSGRIPTION PRICE OF SHARES. SIOs
orders left the following places will meet with
prompt attention, viz.-Staten Island Fancy Dyelng
tomuany, AZ N. Eighth street, Atkinson's Gents Fur
nishng Store, 52l Chestnut street, Atktnson's Gents
Furnishing Store, 620 Chesau street. Laings aat and
Gents Furnishing Store n, f. cor. Sixth and Chesnut
streets; Winchesters Gents Furnishing Store, zoe
Chestnut street, Grants Gents Furnishing store l0lS
Chesnut street. Lewis Gents Furnishing store, :. f.
cor Eiehth and Race streets Sachse Sons shirt
Store s. IT, cor Eighth and Vine streeisi Buffers
Gents Furnishing Store l4l s. Eighth street. SeotEs
Gents Furnishing Store, 2Q5 8 Tenth street, Jones'
Hoop Skirt and Ladies' Furnishing store, s2 Arch
street; Hooper & Parkers Gents Furnishing Store,
N. H. cor Arch and Ninth streets; Taggart Il Farrs
Sewing Machine Store 81 n. Ninth street, Atknsons
Dry Goods Store, 1922 Ridge avenue, and at the
Laundry Ninth street, below Dickerson.
Washing done at 80 Get Is per dozen. All articles
called for and deliyeEedfS OF charge, and all cloth
10 Chemicals used. All work performed In the best
possible manner, under the Buperntendence OF expe-
rlenced and careful female operatives. Gents Socks
mended and Buttons replaced without extra charge.
The public are Invited TO inspect the Laundry,
Holders OF four shares Of stock will have their bills
rendered monthly, with q discount OF 20 per cent
Stock may be subscribed for az the Ohice OF
HENRY Q. POLLOCK. Treasurer,
No. l80 S, SIXTH Street,
10 l2am3mrp Philadelphi6
The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1867-12-07
~ GRAND MON FAIR
BAPTIST CHURCHES OF PHILADELPHIA.

BAPTIST CHURCHES OF PHILADELPHIA
IN AID
- MEMORIAL BAPTIST CHAPEL,
now being erected under the auspices ofthe CHURCH
EXTENSION COMMISSION, will open on MONDAY
EVENING next December 9, at CONCERT HALL,
and Will continue for one week.
An excellent selection OF FANCY AND USEFUL
ARTICLES Will be on sale at reasonable prices at the
taoles OF the different Churches ALL CHANCES,
NOIING, SCH EMES. ETC. WILL BE sTRIC LY
PROHIBITED DURING The FAIR aud these OBJ
lectonabe features being disallowed the patronage
ana support OF the demon inaton and public generally
are arnestly solicited and expected
Tickets can be procured at the Baptist Publication
rooms, No. $50 Arch street and from the SuperR
Schools I2 & nd
In order TO avoid any interference with the Fair
the Hassler Orchestra have most generously con-
sented to defer their usual Monday afternoon Con-
cert 9Th inst.
The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1867-12-07
A PARADOX.
GAN flesh is grass" at least so say
The writings..of the sages;
If this be so, then the hey-day
Of 1ifa ,t;o olaor old a0a iG


"DowN'T." - No wonder a youth gets
''chaffed" when his whiskers are just begin
ming to grow, for even they are "down upon
him -
JA-DBD JEsT-A correspondent, having
shot Jay, wishes to know whether he ought
to send it to the Dead Letter Office.
BY AN UNDEReRADUATE.-What bears the
strongest affinity to cow cabbage? An Ok
onion (D
TRUE.-Those that speak falsehoods should
live in live house of many storys!
The "Poor in Spirit"-Baukrupt Publicans.
A "WAIKER's' DICTIoNARY-The Milestones.
THE best shares of any-Plough
From Fun
CUT AND SHAvE.-A Bavarian journal, the
Gazette de Kempten, announces its intention to
publish daily bulletin deS menSoageS in which
the canardS of the day will be kept distinct
from the authentic news. 1t would be well if
our English papers would take the hint and
have the sub-editorial department thus d-
vided under the right heads, though it might
not be always easy to keep the canGrds to their
separate pen. The wieder of the scissors
might at least keep all their shear absurdities
IN a column by themselves.
QUANTUM MUTATUs.-Mr. Organ, Inspector Of
Released COnvicts in Ireland, in a paper lately
read at Belfast, announces that by procuring
employment for prisoners Immediately on dis
cn@Ige, and by inspiring them with a sense of
personal obligation to him, he has been ena-
pleo 10 restore large numbers to honesty and
LesPectapilty. Such an amelioration of the
felon Is indeed an Organic change. and we
should like to see good MANY Instrument
playing the same tune '--''' ii'S
(THE UPSET PRIoE.-Tbs voisouo.,..
attempts to upset a train receives ..Oal " nv
sentence at the hands Of The severe
very Justly, too. But the Speculate ot'I "-ann
ter, fnancier what you please TO tern pronio mo
"a word Of one syllable would sufRceI, vba,l
he upsets a whole company of sharehoideFsSo
literally taking the bread out Of the mouths o1
widows orphans, and gentlewomen, gets
what he does get In all probability tes,
timOnial.
CWIIlzAuoN.-Th only daughter of tbs
Indian chief "spotted Tail" is finishing hel
education at Omaha, where she learns ItaliaI
and music. OF course, the young lady can
not bear the odious names by which her fathel
is known, and so we suppose she is called
Miss Peacock by those who teach her TO play
the peahennO
"GoUssET GoUssET, GANDER ''-The chic
french restaurateur at the Paris Exhibition Ii
reported TO be bankrupt, and his liabilities
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1867-03-29
PURIIC RssorUTroN-No d


JOINT REsoLUTIoN extending the provisions
OF section two 81 an act entitled :. A u act 10
extend the jurisdiction of the Court Of
CLAIMS, and 10 provide for the payment of
certain demands for quarter masters stores
ana subsistence supplies furnished TO the
army OF the Uni:ed Stares," approved July
fourth, eighteen hundred and sixty-f -four
Be Il reS0l"sd IN The SeRcte and House of Rep
r. Ee$eRtnttreS ~ me United States Of ABterica IA
Congress assembled, That the provisions OF sec
ton TWO of the above-entitled act be, and thew
are hereby extended to cover all cases where
quartermasters' stores Were actually furnished
TO the forces under the command of Major
General Lewis Wallace, and duly receIpted
for by persons acting under his authority, and
whose authority shall be proven TO the salts
faction of the accounting Off GERS. during the
MORGAN ralh through the States of Indiana
and ONO, in The summer of eighteen hundred
and sixty-three: and for the purpose of giving
such receipts for property so applied, the SAID
persons shall be held TO be proper officers OF
the government.
Approved, March =, 1867.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1867-03-29

a HEstLUTIoS TO provide, IL certain "a IS. for
The removal Of alcohol from bonded ware
houses free IRON II -eTual tax.
ErSol-FL ~ ne S.uC's dGd Horse If RsE-
ssertGtt~s q he United StlEsE Of An Ficg tt
C6-crs.s Css.8.fi~d, That the Secretary q; The
Treasury be. and he Is hereby, authorized 10
grant permits 20 CurarOrs OF incorporated or
SEGT'ersG scientific IEsaIutIOEs 10 withdraw
aIcOBO! III specified q Quantities from bond with
cut pay ment of the Internal revenue tax on
ne same or on The spirits from which the
alcohol has been distilled for the sole and ex-
elusive purpose OF preserving specimens of
anatemy physiology. or ef natural history be-
longing 70 said Institutions: fre.tfsE. That
ihe said cuTatOrs, OF applying Tor such per-
NIT, snail ME bond for double the amount of
the tax On the alcohol &c be withdrawn, Wi h
two good and 81 III Glen suTerias who shall n d.
De oaIcers OF the institution making applica-
ttoE. -aId bond and sure lies 70 ne approved by
thr Com ms SICIer CT Internal Revenue: and
CONDITIONED tha- the y b. ole quantity OF alcohol
% y n drawn from bond shall be us ID for IA q,
purpose above specified and for no other, and
TIA; The curators shall comply with such other
requirement and regulations rs the Secretary
Of The Treasury may prescribe. And If any
alcohol 80 Obtained sha ! be used BY any cura-
tor g cher officer Of said instItu lion for any
purpose other Than ;hai above specified, then
the said cuTatOrs. ofhce;s or sureJies, shall paw
The tax on the whole amount OF alcohol with :
drawn from bond. togs her with like amount
as penalty IN addition there-o.
Approved, February L, 1867.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1867-03-29


An ACT 10 regulate the duties of the Clerk OF
ne House OF Representatives IN preparing
ior the organization OF the House, and for
other purposes.
81 RepreSeHtG-tceS q tie United StcteS Of 1nerica
- Congress assembled, That before the first
meeting of the next Congress, and of every
subsequent Congress, the Clerk of the next
preceding House OF Representatives shall
make & roll of the EepreseH tatIy es elect, and
place thereon the names of all persons clam
.Eg seats as Representatives elect from States
which were reOresented In the next preceding
Congress. ana OF such persons only and whose
credentials show that they were regularly
elected IN accordance with the laws OF their
states respectively, OF The laws OF the United
S.arss.
SIC. > Ind d It Further szac cd. That in case
CT a vacancy IN the Office OF Clerk of the
House OF Representatives.. OF absence or in
AFFINITY Of said Clerk to discharge The duties
imposed on him by law or custom relative
20 he preparation of the roll OF representatives.
Or BE organization Of the House, the said du-
.Ies snail devolve on the Sergeant-at-arms of
the next preceding House of Representatives.
ana IN case Of vacancies in both of the before
mentioned offices. or Of the absence or inability
OF both the Clerk and Sergeant-aL-arIls 10 act
ihen the said duties shall De performed by the
Representatives.
SCHUYLER COLFAX.
Speaker OF The House of Represen'atIy
LAE6 NETTE $ FOSTER
Preside Mt OF the Senate pre- tempore
Endorsed BY the President. Received 9th
Ci February, 1857
lNOTE BT TIE DEPARTMENT OF STATE
Tie foregoing act having been presented 20 III,
President of the United States tor h!s aDDro-
val and not having been returned by him 10
the House Of Congress in which II originated
within The time prescribed by the Constitution
OF the United States, has become law with
on: lis APPROVAL
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1867-03-29
THE EVENING STAR.
o II u 4 4 A l. /.
LAWS OF THE UNITED STATES,
Passed at the Second Session of the Thir.
ty-ninth Congress
fPUBLIc-No. cyl

tPUBLIc-No. 20
An ACT 70 authorIze the Secretary of tie Navy
10 accept League Island, in the Delaware
rvPr, for naval purposes, aBd TO dispense
with and dispose of the site of the existing
ward a. Phnadelphia
Be az tHccted BY the Senate ard House Of Rep
re'tHfdftreS a. the United States Of 4Eteried IN
Congress assembled. That the Secretary OF toe
Navy De, and Is hereby, authorized to receive
ahd accept from the city authorities OF the city
OF Philadelphis the title TO League Island, IN
ne Delaware river, and adjacent marsh land,
the Back channel, from the Schuilkilt 70 the
and privileges OF said League Island, adjacent
marsh, and Back channel, together with so
much OF the opposite shore OF the Back chan
the opinion of the Secretary OF he Navy, be
ample TO enable the government 10 have the
sole and exclusive use Of SAID Back channel
purtenancss TO be held for naval purposes by
the governments of the United States: Pr0rided.
II hat the said League Island. marsh adjacent
and Pack channel, with It's shores as aforesaid
shau not De received or accepted until the title
20 me whole Of the same. IA herein described
rs complete AID Indefeasib BILE, nor unless the
acceptance thereof shall be recommended DIV a
board OF officers TO be appointed by the Presi-
dent: Proridfd yur'f-T, That If League Island
be selected the navy yard n Philadelphia shall
be dispensed with and disposed of by the
United STATES as soon as the public convent
snce VIII admit.
Approved, February Is, 1867.