Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1867-06-20
Phillips First Baby.

Mrs. Philips was on the very pinnacle of
felicity. She was the mother of boy
which weighed eleven pounds.
Mr.. Philips bid fair to lose his mind en-
tirely. He danced and sang, and fired guns
from the top of his corn house, whistled
Yankee Doodle while eating his breakfast,
and rung the necks of all the fowls on the
place, to make chicken pie for the cele-
bration.
This worthy couple had been married
ten years, and this was their first child -
People had to laugh at them ten years on
account Of their luck; people who were
overrun with children, and whose lives
were made miserable by the seedlings and
spanklings they found it necessary to in
flict on their whretched little olive plants.
Now, Mrs Phillips said, she guessed
they'd laugh out of the other side. There
had never been SO large baby born in
Smithfeld before Mrs Jones' only
weighted nine pounds, and had a pug
nose, Mrs. Sawyers' was red haired and
had mole on his right foot-a sure sign
that it would come to bad end-and on
ly weighted seven pounds and fourteen
ounces She guessed people had better
look at home before they laughed
Baby proved to be Tartar. He had
temper like wind mill, and seemed de-
termined to develop his feet and lungs to
the utmost while he had leisure: for he
screamed and kicked twenty-three out Of
the twenty-four hours
But his mother declared he was an ang-
ell. We never can imagine an angel with
puffy red cheeks, heels elevated in the air,
sucking sugar teat, and being bounced
about in pillow cradle to the tune of
High diddle dee J" but then our magma
ton is not by any means so vivid as it
might be.
From the hour in which he was born,
he was the Autocrat of the household ev-
erything had to bow to his nod.
The scullery door creaked: it was TAX
en- off the hinges, and the servant was in
the draft all the time, because she might
disturb the baby. For the same reason
the coffee mill was moved into the wood
shed, the dishes must be washed out of
doors-the clatter Of the plates made baby
scream the washing was done in the barn !;
all the clocks in the house were stopped !;
the dog was muzzled, and the cat choked
all from the fear of disturbing the ba-
by.
Mr.. Phillips paid blacksmith who was
located within quarter of a mile, one hun
dred dollars to move his shop, and Biddy
was moved to the cock loft of the wood
shed on account of snoring.
The child's diseases were legion. It
was wonder that it could draw it's breath
with so many terrible ailments clinging to
it.. Mrs. Phillips was continually on the
watch for some new demonstration.
'Charlesp cried she, waking her hus-
band from slumber one cold winter night
1T seems to me that baby does not breath
just right
Mr.. Phillips sprang out and listened. -
"Good gracious, he's got the snufnes, amt
hcp
ooh, dear, what shall we do if baby is
going to be sick ?"
Mr.. Phillips got light and the anxious
parents brought it to bear on the face Of
their child
oh, heavens 7 cried his mother, .his
face is actually purple he's going to have
scarlet fever. See that red spot on his ell
bow
It may be where he's laid on it, re-
marked Mr.. Philips.
Laid on it, Ell! you unfecling man,