The Portland daily press., 1867-12-03
Varieties.

| "
| -"I resort to wine to stimulate my wits
said young spendthrift to an old one. "Ah,"
replied the veteran, shat is the way began,
but nowI have to resort to my wits to get my
| wine."
| -Wurtemberg pays each of the princes of
the royal family $1,000 year not to abandon
the Protestant religion. The King declines it,
| but the other members Of the family pocket
| the proceeds of their profitable principles.
| "A London letter-writer notices as an ex-
| ample of the new careers now opening to men
of talent, through political changes, the cur
rent rumor that Mr.. Anthony Trollope the
well-known novelist, has resigned his place in
the Post-office establishment, with view of
offering himself to a constituency for the Rad
| ical interest The writer thinks there is every
chance of Mr.. Trollope's achieving high sue
| cess in Parliamentary career.
An anecdote of the Duke of Cambridge is
| "going the rounds This princely carpet
warrior is commander-in-chief of the British
army, and in his military character is some-
| what prone to blasphemy. waggish colonel
| who had been the object of several emphatic
| expletives, was asked if the Duke had arrived
| to take the command of force to be reviewed.
| eyes," said the wit, che swore himself in half
an hour ago"
"A Liverpool paper publishes this adver-
tisement: "Wanted, Man of strong and ro-
| bust physical constitution to Ira yel in the Tea
| Trade; one not at all of nervous or suscepti-
BILE temperament, but capable of standing any
| quantity of abuse the modern school of grocers
and tea dealers may inhict upon him.-Ad-
dress, &C."
| Milk, in France, is packed in small tin
| cans easily moved, and with cOntrivance to
keep it from being "churned" when travelling.
The stupid conduct of the young King of
Bavaria is said to be due in great part to the
| stupidity OF his father, who educated him like
| a martinez. He allowed him only one mutton
| chop for breakfast. The first order the young
King gave after his fathers death, was 1.-TWO
chops for breakfast. I am master here now"
| He had never been to the theatre. The first
night be visited an opera house Wagners
"Tannhauser" was played. He was so delight
| ed he thought Wagner demigod. This is the
origin of his passion for Wagner.
Henry Boiler, who, after eight years so
iourn among the Indians of the far West, has
returned and embodied his experience in book
| form, assures us that the red men will sacred
ly regard their treaty so long as we do. 1t is a
mistaken impression that they cannot be relied
upon. Hitherto, he asserts, the whites have
been the first to violate the compacts made
with the children of the forest.
AT Memphis the authorities are vigorously
curtailng the expenses of the city government,
even dispensing with the prison physician,
the sanitary police and the street force of po-
n. ~ .fk Al 4
papers thinks the next best thing they might
do in this line would be to dispense with the
Board of Aldermen.
On the question of how large a sum may be-
saved from small salary, lady says in an
exchange: "My income is $500 per week,
which spend in the following manner: board
and washing, S4.25; church contributions,
25 cents; car fare and books, 30 cents;
clothing, Sl.5O; Total, $3.50. The bal
ance, S1.5O, deposit in the bank" A young
man gives his experience thus: MY income is
$4,000 week. My average expenses are: for
board and room, 81 go; clothing $500; billiards,
$2.50-(I play a poor game); drinks, 1,50;
horse hire, So; Literary, True Flag and Po-
| lice Gazette, 10 cents; church contributions, 5
cents; Total, 1923. For the balance draw on
/ the old man. My washing bill last year was
S4S, but as my necessary expenses were so
high, was able to pay only S13 OF it, which
gives the average of 25 cents a week! would
like to marry, but don't see how can. The
ladies are SO extravagant and have so many
expensive habits that can't support wife,"
There is, perhaps, says Anthony Trollope,
no greater hardship at present inflicted on
mankind in civilized and free countries, than
the necessity of listening to sermons.
| Visitors to New York must be careful how
thew approach a hackman. A correspondent
SAYS that ''if you speak to one he will insult
YOU; if you employ him he will swindle you;
and if you complain of him he will whip you"
"A couple of Frenchmen in the city of
Mexico have purchased the old Convent st.
Domingo, and are at work excavating tunnels
beneath the same hunting for treasure suppos-
| ed to have been put in secret vaults said to
exist there, by the Catholic priests some years
ago. They have already made the discovery
of an underground passage leading from the
| convent to the massive pile of buildings known
as the "Inquisition," standing on the opposite
side of the street. Several bodies have been
exhumed already which bear the appearance
of having been buried alive. They have thus
far been enclosed in the walls One was in a
perfect state of preservation, and had tine ap-
pearance of having been man oil ranA' ms
clothes even were almost wholly intact, and
were richly embroidered in gold. Inc priests
ot tho c;tv are greatly annoyed at these reVeia-
tions. and have made many ehor's " sup
| them. -. e..,
Gentleman who had visited his friend
e,r the first time in very solitary and dreary
situation. observed to him, My dear Tom, you
NAV have your reasons for livir g here, but,
added he, looking with great surprise at the
rookery, "what can induce those poor Dirds 10
stay here, too?'
1t is Fielding who somewhere says true
wisdom notwithstanding all Hogarths poor
noet NAV have written against riches, anu in
snite of all which any rich weil-ied dVine
NAV have preached against pleasure consists
-; ~ tho contempt of either of these. Aman
- "a mucb wisdom in the possession of
ON aAiuent fortune as any beggar IN the
s,roats. or may enjoy handsome wife or a
hoor,v friend. and still remain as wise as any
,o,,;sb recluse, who burics all his social faeul'
t;es and starves his belly, while he well lashe'
his back,
swell, Jim, how did you make u uo"
South?" First rate; made plenty o. "o
"what did you do with it? .I.'arr ,Iace I
bouses and lots" "where? ENe'S P' "pyS.
have been where there weIe s"' and
,-,,,a of bouses and lots Ooiee