Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1867-03-15
A Little too Punctual.

The hour was approaching for the
departure of the New Haven steam
boat from her berth at New York,
and the usual crowd of passengers and
friends ofpassengers, newspaper boys,
fruit venders, cabmen and dock loaf
ers, were assembled on and abont the
boat. We were gazing at the motley
group from the foot of the dock stairs,
when our attention was attracted by
the singular action of a tall, brown
Yankee, in an immense wool hat.
chocolate-colored coat and pantaloons,
and a fancy vest. He stood near the
starboard paddlebox, and scrutinized
sharply every female who came on
board, every now and then consult
inc an enormous silver bull's-eye
watch, which ne raised from the depths
of capacious fob by means of pow
erful steel chain. After mounting
guard in this manner, he dashed furi-
Ously down the gang plank and up the
wharf, re-appearing on board almost
instantly. with flushed face, express
inc the most intense anxiety. This
series of operations he performed sew
eral times, after which he rushed
about the boat, widely and hopelessly
calculating
What's the time of day? Wonder
If my repeaters fast? Whar's the
cap'n? Whar's the steward ? Whar's
the mate? Whar's the boss that
owns the ship"
whats the matter, sir? we ven-
tured to ask him, when he stood for a
moment.
''Hain't seen nothing of a gal in a
blue sun bonnet, with Canton Grape
shawl, (cost fifteen dollars,) pink
gown, and brown boots, hey? come
aboard while | was looking for the
cap'n at the hind end of the ship
have We, hey ?"
No such person has come OIL
board"
"Tormented lightning! she's my
wife," he screamed; married her yes
terday. All her trunks and mine
, are aboard under the pile, of baggage
as tall as Connecticut steeple. Th
, darn black niger says he can't hant
, it out, and won't leave my baggage
anyhow. NY wife, only think Of il
= was to have come aboard at hal
past four, and here it is most five
What's become of her? She can
, have eloped. We hain't been mai
. ried long enough for that. You don
: think she's been abducted, do "
mister? Speak-answer-won't ye
% o I'm raving distracted What al
. they ringing that bell for? Is tt
% ship a-fre p
dts the signal for departure-tf
. fist bell. The second bell will /
II rung in four minutes"
II "Thunder! you don't say so !
~ Whar's the cap'n ?" e< gs
: "That gentleman in the blue coat.
=, The Yankee darted to the captain
~ side.
w. W "Cap'n, stop the ship for ten mi
"a utes, won't you p
"Can't do it, sir sma1rte
sBut ye must, tell you. I'll p
~ \. you for it. How much will We tax
!, hi II could not do it.
VII "Cap'n, I'll give you tew dollars
'e- % gasped the Yankee. 3sa u 'o6i92
M The captain shook his head.
. "I'll give you FIVE dollars aud h
3 and half-and a halfp' he Ike
&C. repeating, dancing about in his agol
IS like mad jackass on a hot iron pl
zee ter. ''-' 's4
GU "The boat starts at FIVE precisel
said the captain shortly, and turn
the away. 8sasiq 81 ssGs gsss
hn, 80, you, stunny-hearted heather
CHI murmured the Yankee, almost bun
,pe ing into tears. Partin man and "
e a and we just one day married? ?" 4
l5Al sslE VI 1g9A Saw ElgsJ Es-gEW