Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1867-04-04
Odds and Ends,

II q cigar makes man ill, q
cheroot will make maniller.
Curses come home to roest, but ne
roosters come home to curse.
! Prosperity makes friends, adyersi.
ty tries them.
i Her parents would not let Jemima
go to the ball, and so she set to, and
had bawl at home.
He who assumes airs of import
anee exhibits his credentials of insig-
nifcance
Envy, jealousy, scorpions, and
vipers sting themselves to death.
Why is man hung far better than
a vagabonds Because he has visi-
bic means of support.
Caution to ladics-A silk dress
should never be satin.
All should marry. Every I should
have another 1. One eye sees but
half the world.
Beer fills many bottle, and the
bottle many bier.
Hairy Advance of Position-From
dangling at horses tail to dallying
on fairies neck in waterfall
Man is minister, and woman a
mystery.
The reason why policemen are
never run over-Beeause they are
never in the way.
Ii one pine tree can make pitch,
how many can make pitcher.
If one twinge of pain makes an
ache, how many will make an acre?
fit takes four men TIVE days to
eat a ham, how long will it take them
to eat hammer.
Wine Measure.--Three spoonfuls
of brandy make one cocktail; three
cocktails one go; three goes one
spree; three specs a muss with the
night police and one visit to the
penitentiary. Cut this out and paste
in your hat.
Shakespeare haunts me night and
day." said stage strutting hero
'That he is so eternally haunted"
said by-stander, sis not to be
wondered at at all, for he has most
cruelty murdered him in everything
he has undertaken.
An advertisement lately appeared,
offering furnished apartments, at
Bay Ridge, "about two hundred
yards from New York Bay, of which
it commands beautiful view, as also
an extensive landscape consisting of
four bed rooms and dining-room.
A young gentleman of the city,
describing affairs in the country,
writes that the ''cews often act so
very badly about being milked;
som etimes, when you are almost
through, they will kick the milk all
over, and you have to GO to work
and milk them right over againp'
There is hopeful popular delu-
sion that there is silver in the new
three and five.cent coin. Perhaps
there is. The doctors tell us that
there is iron in the human blood, but
we never heard of any fellow
creature being successfully worked
as an iron mine.
One of the Bureau officials,
while travelling last week in the cars
in Alabama, noticed lady with q
negro girl in attendance and remark
ed,
Madam, I see you have one of my
children"
eyes SIR" replied the lady, II
perceive the resemblance"
A slight tittering was observed in
that part of the car and the Bureau
left
A correspondent prescribes the
following recipte to Danish rats
Catch them, one at time, and fiat
ten their heads with hammer.
The following epitaph conveys q
left handed compliment uncon-
no doubt, to the unfortu-
nate deceased lord and master:
eMartha Brown, wife of Timothy
Brown, aged eighty years. She
lived with her husband fifty years,
and died in the hope of better
life."
"Julius, can you tell me how Adam
got out of Eden?"
"Well, I s'pose he climbed ober de
fence"
"Ne, dat amt it."
"Well, den he borrowed a wheel
barrow and walked out"
'.Ne, sah."
81 CUBS it up"
swell, he got snaked eut'
''If there is anybody under the
canister of heaven that 1 have in ut
.er excrescence," says Mrs. Parting
EN-, cit is the slander going about
ike a bey-constructor, circulating
lis calomel upon honest folks"
An editor thus indulges his delin-
,uent subscribers: 1--WE don't want
money desperately bad, but cur cred
tors dc, and they no doubt owe you.
# you pay us, wen pay them and
ihey'll pay you"
A little girl in school being asked
What cataract or waterfall was, re-
,lied that it was chair wrapped
.round her dads old stoeking."-
The teacher and scholars were con-
enlightened.
"Isn't it pleasant to be surrounded
,y such crowd Of ladies?" said
pretty young lady to popular lee