The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1867-03-21
a sweet Thing in CnIrnon..
From. Punch.
UNCLE TEAzLR.


OSCLE 4EAzLE. FANNY. Dr.
UneLe-Now, my dear Fanny, it Ii
your birthday. Let me see, how old
are you'll Not yet arrived at the years
of discretion. eh? Well, my dear, here
is little present for you-a little sci-
entific instrument. Science is fashion.
able, you know. Here is microscope,
to study minute botany With-and ento-
mology. a
Fdnmy-oh thank you, uncle!
Unete-Entomology; science OF In
scots, you know. Minute entomology ;
of insects not visible 10 the naked eye
Mites in cheese, for instance.
F'GRry-Nasty, horrid things!
UHcte-Well, If you like better, di-
minntive water insects /; the water flea
and the cyciclops-Rnd such. But /
suppose you would wish to eschew
mites. 1 mean not to eat them.
Ednny-Oh, yes, Uncle!
your cheese With this you can. 9th
er things also, besides cheese. There
is cheese-and there are chignons.
Fdnny-''Chignons" and "cheese"
sounds funny.
Uncie-Yes, my dear. ALTERATION.
But cheese and chignons have more in
common than Ch. However, you think
chisnons are "the cheese" eh /?
F'dnny-They are the fashion, Uncle,
dear.
Uncle-Yes, they are the fashion. So
We're fronts" in my young days. Both
false hair. Wise ladies then wore it
before; now they wear it behind. The
dandies of the day used, as they said,
to quiz it.
Unete-Yes. It was one of their slang
words-derived from looking through
an eye.glass called a quizzing glass,
Meant to inspect, as it were, and ridi-
cule. Now, their successors, the swells,
quiz cEignons. But you can quiz our
chignon yourself-with your micro
scope.
Fidnny-why should 1, Uncle?
UHete-lo o see If ii contains any gre
Fdnny-G Law, 1 should
think they were pretty.
Unete-No, my dear, they are para
sites. Parasites of parasites.
Fdn5ly-Now, nonsense, Uncle.
Know what a parasite is: zone who
frequents rich tables, aud earns his well
come by fattery."-DT. johnson.
UneLe-"The little heas have other
fleas, and smaller fess to bite 'em.-
Those smaller heas have lesser fieas;
and SO on Gd i'athitunI." Fleas are par
asites. But gregarines are not f1eas.
FdHny-I should hope not. But what
are they then?
UaeEe"-Little dark brown knots"
my love. which ''ares seen at the free end
of the hair, and may even be distin-
guished by the naked eye. These are
gregarines-" They are the discovery
of n Lindemann, Russian profess
sor, whose country has doubtless af-
forded him a fine field for observation
in this branch OF Zoology
Fdnny-Zoology, Uncle7
U1ete-Yes, my dear. These little
dark brown knots are not inanimate
objects.
Fdnny-Ughl
UIteie-They have a most ignoble an
cestry and habitation, being found in
the interior Of
FGnny-Whatf
UHete-Never mind. They are, as
said, parasites ofparAsites. "They are
not easily destroyed. They resist the
Nothing, in short, but corrosive things
that injure the hair will kill them.
F'dRny-Oh, the horrid things! oh,
the abominable, dreadful. disgusting,
nasty creaturesl
UneEe-According to NJ. Lindemann,
seventy six per cent of the false hair
used for chi1R0nS in Russia is infested
with them.
Fanny-That's enough, Uncle.
UHcLe-In the conditions of ball
room, he says, they grow and multiply;
hy about in millions, get inhaled, drop
on the refreShmentS-in fact
FdHny-oh, Uncle, don't say any
more, please. Stand out of the way
from the CRATE do. won't wear the
thing another moment. (TedrS or her
ehigRoH.l
Uneie.stay; wouldn't you like to ex-
Fanny-No, Therel tFGnqs IL into
the tfre.l There's an end OF iti
Unlee-And its Inhabitants. Well
done, Fannyl Let 1t blaze with them,
And now, by way of substitute for a
chignon at your poll, to wear a chaolet.
circlet, or whatever you call it, on your
crown; here, take this bank note. Now
you viii show that you have taste OF
your own, and leave gregarious young
lad Is to owearchignons with grsgarines.
[Scene Closest
ONE of the editors of a New Orleans
paper, soon after beginning to learn the
printing business, went to court a