Daily Davenport Democrat. [volume] (Davenport, Iowa) 1864-1874, 1867-01-04


Against oil the chambesmaids Of whstev.
et age or nationality. launch The curse Of
bachclosdom
Because:
Trey always pat the pillow on the opposite
end tho room from the - burner, no tina.
while you read and smoke before sleeping,
as is the ancient and honored custom Of
bachelors you have TO hold your book aoft,
IN an uncomfortable position to keep the
light from dazzling your yes.
When they find the ,illowA removed TO
the other end Of tho bed In Do morning,
they receive no, the suggeston:n friendly
spirit. but the gloyring in their absolute
sovereignty and I'ityingyour helpessncss,
they make the bed just as il was originally,
and gloat IN secret ever the psngs their ty>
ranny wii cause YOU.
Always after that, they find you have
transposcd the pillows, they undo vour
work. aud thus defy YOU aud seek 10 enb,-
ter the Iiie that God hath given you.
u they cannot get the light in conve-
nient position and other way, they move the
bed.
II youpull their trunk out few inches
from the wall, no that the I'D will stay up
when You open 1t. they always shove that
trunk back again. They do il On purpose
II you want the spi,toon in certain spot
where it will be handy. they don't. And so
they move it.
They always put your other boots into
Inaccessible places. They chiefly enjoy dc
posting them ~ far under the bed o. the
wall will permit. Il is because this compels
on TO get down in an nndigniiied at.
titudc and make wild sweeps for then in
the dark with the bootjack. aud
swear.
They always put the match boz in some
other place. They hunt up n now place for
u every day, and put bottle or other per
ish ,ble glass thing, where the box stood DO
ore. This is 10 cause you TO break that
glass thing, grouping in the dark, aud get
yourself into trouble.
They are forever aud ever moving the fur
nitre. When you com, in, in the night.
you can calculate on finding the bureau
where the wardrobe was in the morning, if
you leave the slcp-buckct by the door and
the rocking cham Ivy the window, when you
come IN a, midnight, or whereabouts, you
will fall over that rocking. char, and you
will proceed toward the window and 81.
down IN that slop tub This will disgust
you. They like that.
No matter where you put any thing, they
are not going to let it stay there. They will
take it and move il the Arst chance they
get. Il is their nature. And besides, L
gives them pleasure to be mean and con-
trary this way. They would die Il they
couldn't be villains.
They always save up oil the old SCRAPS
Of printed rubbish on the floor, and stack
them up carefully on the table, end chen
start the fire with your valuable manuscripts.
II there 10 any one particular old scrap that
you are more down on than any other, and
which you are gradually wearing your life
out 70 get rid Of, you may take oil the paine
you possibly can in that direction, bat il
won't I've Of any use. because they viii o..
ways fetch that old scrap back add put il 10
the sams old plses again every tine. It
does them good.
Aud they uss moro hais oil thaa any six
men. II charged with pusl0iuine the zane.
they lie about Il. What do they care about
hersaflsrl Absolutely nsehiac. -
II you leave your key 10 ~ does foe 60.
veniencs cake, they viii carry e down "a
the cfacc and give tito the clerk. Thsv d.
this under The vile prsssnes Of trying 70 pro
tect your property from thieves-sut aotu,
ally they do L because they want 70 make
you tramp back down stairs aftsr Il whsv
you come home tired. or put you 70 IN,
trouble Of sending w~ites for Il, which
waiter will expect YOU to pay him some,
aAhing. In which case l suppose the d,gra
ded creatures divide.
They keep always coming TO make you
bed before you get up. thus DESTROYING ou
rest and 'ntiicting agony upon you-but Of
ter you get up they don't come any mor,
until mex day.
They do nj! the mean things they can thinl
o., aud they do them just out Of pure cuss'
edncss. and nothing else.
Chambcrmaids are dead to every huma:
instinct.
have cussed them in behalf of outraged
bachelordom. They deserve it,. II ca,
get bill through the Legislature sbclshins
chambermaids, mean to do it.
MARK TwAIS
Mas. SuRRArr's HOUSE, IN W Asauxorox.
Mr.. T. J. Macky has written letter to IN,
HArtfatd Pfess 10 relation 10 the foolisl