Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1867-07-31
WIT AND HUMOR.


A rainy day is damp, but when yodl.s
lady refuses to marry you, it's a danper
The decadence of waterfalls" is oaubs
ing a great falling of hair.
A very unpopular officer with the la
dies General Housework.
An English doctor sent in his bill TO I
disconsolate widow, ''for curing your hass
band till he died" s.
What is the difference between pref
ty girl and a night-cap? One is born t0
be we'd, and the other is worn to bed
''That motion is out of order,"' said tae
chairman of meeting when roRaF
raised his arm to throw an egg,
There is mar, IN Burlington Iowa, s5
stingy that he picks the dies out of the
sugar bowl and brushes the sugar off thefs
feet. --1 - .1olzsg..
An exchange says that "bridal envels
opes SO extensively advertised for sale.
means simply night gowns.
We suppose everybody has heard q
the Irishman who said : E'The most eIa=
quent features in dogs face was its
tail" 5s 5-5sse
Your master at home No sir, hss
out Mistress at home? No, sir, shes
out Then I'll step in and sit By the fr6
That's out too, sir.
Two y61hg ladies holding conyers
over the virtues Of new dress "An8
does it fit well asked one. e'I4it yes,
as if I'd been melted and poured in r
It is rather remarkable that while sev~
eral thousand feet are required to max
one rood, single foot, properly applie5
! is sufficient to make one civil EDS
4 country editor describing tbs
bonnets now in fashion, says: s'Th6T
have downward slant that reminds on
of vicious cow with board across h6F
eyes"
A man, seeing an undertaken carryine
a very small coffin, exclaimed, in the ut
most surprised. "Is is possible that that
coffin can be intended for any living ere :
ture ~.
a gentleman met another in the stree.
who was Ill of consumption, and aocost8d
him thus: "Ah! my friend, you walls
slowly" Yes" replied the man, "but
I'm going fast. 55'
4 young lady being requested by al
old bachelor to take seat upon his kne8;
in a crowded sleigh, made the follovinG
reply: ''No, thank you, I'm afraid sue.
an old seat would break down WITH A1e."
"Do you believe in the appearance os
spirits, father 2" asked rather fast younT
man Of his indulgent sire. s'No, Ton
but I believe in their disappearahcGs
since [ missed my bottle of bourbon laaf
night" said the old gentleman.
A schoolmaster in western village,
where the custom Of "boarding round"
prevails, recently received notice from 1
| Dutch matron that she 'would eat hin
but couldn't sleep him. He will doubt
less be careful not to ventt,Ee within h0F
reach.
/ DR. Barnes being inclined to sleep dt.s
ring dull, prosy sermon, friend Wh9
was with him joked him ON his ha7iE {
nodded now and then. Barnes insisted
on his having been awake all the ti1hos
"Well, then" said his friend, ''6sa
you tell me what the sermon was about7"
"Yes, [ ean," he answered, "it Tas
about an hour too long,"
We notice in one of our Indiana s7s
changes the marrioge of Dr.. Thomas II.
| Lyon to Miss Mollie Lamb Anotheg
scriptural prophecy IN process of fHlfli-
ment-'The lion and the lamb shall lsS
down together" and after awhile 81 sis1
tie child will lead them" -s..s
Nasty thinks Horace Greeley, in be-
coming JEFF Davis bail, chez made II
his8elf, to speak fggeratively, a pos. f..
drove Of hogs to scratch themsel5
agin. They are scrarnblin out nv 1he
slough Of secession in wich they WalleTed
till the droppiug out Nv the bottom n1ad
it dangerous; they find Horris staE
on the bank and agn him they r@E
their sides to clean off the mud Ate.-
adhercs"
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