The Daily empire. (Dayton, Ohio) 1865-1867, 1867-04-27
(From the Albany Evening Journal.
Legislative War.


John Oakley represents the county Of
Kings in the Assembly. He is the "Arte-
mus Ward" of the House, n man overflow.
ing with wit, humor aud good natured
geniality. Oakley never speaks without
saying something. He seldom says some
thing without giving the lovers of fun ali
the merriment they desire. Mr.. Oakley, on
Wednesday evening last. went it strong on
the new Capitol bill. We give his speech
verbatim. as taken down by four steno-
graphers and sixteen lead pencils:
MIR. Chairman-I intend to favor this bill,
and yet | should not. When l recollect
that the Goldfish aristocracy of Albany is
not worthy of decent red herring. | am
tempted to say Oakley, do not make an
ass of yourself by voting for the new Cap
itol bill" and yet 1 win. l will vote for
the bill, not because like Albany, but be-
cause ] love the State.
Mr.. Chairman once thought that to
be Il member of the Assembly was to be a
high cockalorum at a worlds poultry show,
l have lived to see my mistake. An AS
semblyman is some pumpkins in New
York. He Is looked upon as a Cicero I'm
Duchess county, and as n Lycurgus in
Schoharie. But it is not so in Albany. In
this city of surgeons and stickups legisla-
tors are small potatoes, and a few to the hill
The first day after | reached Albany, |
hunted round with a shot gun and a point
er, to find a boarding house. l found one
kept by a nightcap and n mammoth water
fall, the widow of a defunct gentleman in
heavy West India goods. 1 asked her il
she desired another bOarder. She replied,
that depends upon circumstances"
| informed her | was u member of the
Legislature. She became cold as an ice
berg, and informed me that respectable
boarding houses did not desire patronage
from Assemblymen or colored people. She
shut the door and l retired. 1 sought
another lady. She was more complacent,
and she did not mind boarding one or two
Assemblymen, provided they would pay in
advance or give security. Is this the way,
Mr.. Speaker, to treat the successor ofSolon ?
] fancy not.
But while l am down on the people OF
Albany as n community, Ihave found some
individual exceptions, who deserve the
highest marks of my esteem. A few weeks
ago, Il gentleman, loud in praise of the new
Capitol. says to me in quite a friendly way,
Oakley, let's go to Peck's and get some
oysters" Oakley said in reply, Nothing
would afford me more pleasure" We went
to Peck's. We ordered oysters, venisun
steaks, green seal, and all that sort of thing
Ny friend left the room to obtain some ci-
,glrs-iitE cents apiece. He did not come
Dd,h he has not CONF back yet. He ler
Oakley 10 pay the bill, seventeen dollars
and sixty cents. You may laugh, gentle
men, but that is not the worst of it. lie
got four fifty cent cigars and had them
charged to M also.
Last week | gave eight shirts out to be
washed. They came back in the shape OF
five collars, four dickies, and one corded
skirt. Now what do | want with a corded
skirt? / I'm not an old granny, like my
friend over there. who believes the Erie
canal has injured the State, nor an | a fe-
male brother like Susan Anthony, or those
other specimens of u~nfeathered poultry
who cackle at hen conventions. / do not
want the skirt.
A short time ago l visited the Baptist
church. one of the great washing machines
of the city. An elderly gentleman address
ed the S~abbath-schOol children, and, point
ing at this building, said: my young
friends, that's the lunatic asylum, to which
one hundred and twenty-eighl crazy men
are sent every year TO make laws for four
millions of gulls." l could stand no more.
| seized my hat and left the edifice. Idon't
suppose | could have carried it long If
had tried, but did not try. As | said be-
fore, ! lett the ediice. But, while 1 can
not and and will not 90 much on the red
herring aristocracy of Albany, l must be al
lowed to say that | have. received nothing
but kindness from the representatives OF
Albany on this floor. Robinson never
smokes a cigar without asking me to 'smell
its flavor" while Smith never sips a glass
of Madeira without saying, Oakley, chew
the corkscrew." Robinson and Smith are
clever fellows, especially Smith, and more
particularly Robinson.
There is an unknown gentleman, who
resides in the BOwery, to whom | am also
under obligations. To every chicken dis
pute and fight which has come off in that
part Of the city, this unknown friend of a
new Capitol has sent me no less than twelve
free passes, one for myself, three for Dan
Wood, four for Parker, and the other fouI
for reporters ofleading and influential pa
pers like the New York Tribune and hide
pendent.
But ! will not detain the House any
longer. l have endeavored to do justice to
all concerned, especially TO the unknown
bird fsncier in the Bowery. Having said
this, | again say. l am in favor of the new
Capitol bill, and hope to see it become a
law.