The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1867-06-06
From the New York Evening Post.
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uHuhiuu may kShSiohy cApcCt W CACitc
certain amount ofinterest among his friends
at one period of his life. His career at
school and at college, his entry into bust
ness, his losing or making fortune, his
loves and his quarrels, may pass unnoticed
by those who know him best and live with
him in his every day life. But there is q
certain thing which he may do which will
not fail to render him an object Of interest,
not only to his family and intimate friends,
but also to his casual acquaintance--he
may become engaged to be married.
With all due reverence for the higher
attributes of the human race it can hardly
be the feeling Of sentiment or the undeve-
Hoped germ Of poetical thought which at
tracts our observation and interest to
man who is " engaged" as the slang OF So
ciety has It. We may have every reason
for supposing that our young friend Mar
cius is head over ears in love with Delia:
He may be absent-minded at whist, ana
may miss the easiest shot at billiards. Ills
appetite for breakfast may be gone, CUT
let NAV content him for dinner, and our
best stories may for him be stupid and
pointless. But his blighted affections are
Indifferent to us, and his sig rs and hopes
are alike uncared for, and viewed as un-
interesting and purposeless.
Nor does the contemplation of connubial
happiness excite in any great measure
sympathy or admiration. Men look upon
the contentment OF husband and wife as
one of the things which ought to be, and
have much the same feeling for the beauty
and excellence ofan exemplary and affec-
tionate married. couple as they have for
free press or the habeaS corpus. Nay, they
secretly think NERVOUSNESS a nuisance,
and the wife who worships her husband Is
too often regarded as bore by her friends.
But a man who is "engaged" is to all
of us, whether we are conscious of it or
not, the object of study and speculation.
We have never before contemplated him
under o similar set of relations. Known
to us hitherto as shrewd lawyer, or a
Woodworking clergyman, as an active adj
venturous soldier, or clever enterprising
merchant, we now view him from diff
ferent standpoint. lie is man who is
about to run great risk he is like one
who has invested his fortune in lottery
with the best hopes of success, to be sure,
with all the chances in his favor; but still
with certain risk. His friends congratu-
late him on his good fortune with diff
dence which plainly tells him, in nine
cases out of ten, that they think he is going
to make fool of himself. They mean to
express sense Of the excellence Of his
choice, and yet there is lurking suspicion
in their polite and cordial phrases that he
Is making q sacrifice, and will be sorry for
it.
Partly this comes from resentment, per-
baps, that faithful old friend should sud-
denly abandon his allies and associates for
one whom he has probably known but
slightly and for comparatively short
time. The victim is a deserter, deserter
under extenuating circumstances, to be
sure, but he has reminded us all, his old
intimates, of the uncertainty of human
friendships.
Then, to another class there appears
prominently the danger the hero is under
going. What does he know Of his future,
poor fellow, which he has so rashly mort
gagged? This is, perhaps, the reason why
such persons feel it to be necessity that
their friend and his .idncee should have
abundant opportunities for cultivating the
tender feelings that exist between them !;
and proof of our being convinced that there
are many obstacles in their way is this
anxiety on ourpart to afford them indirect
assistance, and our halt-cOncealed appre-
heDsion that they may not get fair play.
WOmen-who are infinitely clearer and
quicker sighted in such matters than
men--are in like manner decided, though
less ostentatious in their means OF giving
that help which they consider so ncces-
sary. They will intrigue, and contrive,
and plot in thousand little matters, to
bind fast the bonds between the couple in
which they are interested. That the lady
and gentleman should be seated at dinner
within easy distance for purposes Of con-
versation, that everything which might
cause the attention of one to be diverted
from the other should be avoided, alrwhO
have observed their ways must acknow-
ledge to be two points of which they uani-
mously recognize The importance. Some
will even betray no small amount Of earn
estness that both the objects of their care
should partake Of the same entree, and
should have the same opinion on the open
question whether Chablis or Sauterne be
the preferable accompaniment Of oysters.
And though more latitude of opinion is
allowed on the subject of champagne, the
permission which is silently accorded to
the gentleman TO choose the dry instead of
the sweet is usually granted with feeling
OF depreciation.
For similar reasons they are careful
about the shutting of doors, and are under
continual apprehension lest they should
unfortunately intrude on a conversation
between young couple to whose inter-
view they would, at the same time, wish
to impart an additional zest by giving them
secret and furtive appearance.
There are men, it must be confessed,
wretcheS, disposed to think these things
rather bore than otherwise. This con-
tinual need for reticence and caution, this
constant necessity for mentally walking on
tiptoe, begets in them sense OF WEAKNESS
and annoyance.
But let such curmudgeons remember,
for their comfort, that the ills are not on
one side. Grant that the course of true
love does run smooth, let the gentleman
have no misgivings on the subject Of eX-
trayagance,- and be devoid Of all fear as to
the authenticity Of the lady's hair or COM
plexion, suppose that settlement of the
uerata gueStio Of smoking or non-smoking
has been amicably made, and that there is
peace also on that great cause Of irrita-
tiOn-clubs. Still all is not so pleasant and
delightful as outward appearance would
seem to show. Squabbles and little jeal-
ousies are inevitable between the lovers,
and one terror always threatens them.
Guard against accidents as they will, all
their vigilance will be as naught before
the tricks and wiles of children. The in
n al Il