Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1867-01-04

| "A UOWcStJC hUuiNuSV--A 0IVUHCl VI Nv
cnty.five Falls i'm Love with a Woman o
Twenty -four-A New Way to Stop a We'd
ding. -
The Springfield (Illinois) correspondent o
the St. Louis Republican writes:
In the adjoining township resides Alexis
P. well-to-do farmer. He is a widowel
Of twelve years standing, and has attainet
the patriarchial age of three-score and fifteer
years. His family consists Of an only son
Frank, not quito Of age, and three daughters
Of the ages respectively Of twenty-four
twenty and thirty -two. Though in
intellectual dotage, Mr.. P. is physically, fol
one Of his years, a very proper man-hale,
erect, and vigorous His large possessions
have aroused the cupidity of not few ad-
yanced widows. Indeed he is regarded as a
decided . catch," and strenuous efforts have
been made to ensnare his affections But
the aged gentleman, though sympathetic
enough is after tender deer. His preferen-
ccs tend to the more youthful Of his admi-
rers.
Miss Fannie B. Eve suppress names for
the saketof relations) is the daughter Of q
poor but respectable farmer, neighbor of the
P.'s. She is genteel girl of unsophistica-
ted manners, but limited education. She
had been taught to idolize the wealthy man.
The play fellow of P's daughters, she has
grown up with them, and is of the same age
with the youngest, to wit: twenty -four years
old. Strange to say, Cor is it strange y old
MIR. P. has fallen desperately in love with
Fanny His suit has been favored by her
folks; actual marriage contracted, and moth
ing remained but the solemnization. Our
informant, Rev. MIR. Oe, of the Epis-
copal Church, had been summoned to celc-
bratc the nurtial ceremonies Although hos
tile to the marriage, the daughters of the
gay Alexis had made no opposing demcnstra-
ton. On the day previous to the ceremony,
the sou Frank exhibited decidedly bellig-
ercnt spirit. And here comes in the TO
nance. fs
Frank declared, amid whole cataract Of
profane embellishments, that his father should
not bring su.h a young mother into the
house. He sworc the old man should not
marry the girl Despite license, priest, and
inclination there should be an end to it; there
should be no marriage. How would he pre-
vent it? He would show them about noon
Of the day preceding the one appointed for
the wedding. An undertaken from Spring
field brought coffin to the house of Mr.. P.
Frank took charge Of it, and deposited ii
with suitable gravity in the principle room
Frank then caused the family meat-axe-a
CHASTITY horrible clcavcr-to be ground and
sharpencd. Then he announced his design
He swore (for Frank is fast but spoiled
youth, there should be funeral, and nc
wedding Reversing the order of things, he
declared the wedding baked meats shoulo
coldly furnish forth funeral; that Fanny
instead Of bride, should be a corpse ; that
his father might have funeral but no wed
ding; that, standing there at the threshold
Of his paternal mansion, when she came tt
celebrate the nuptuals he would, with tina
same sharpencd meat-axe, cleave her from
crown to sole; that the coffin prepared wa.
for her decent burial and finally, that h
was ready himself for the murderer's gibbit
Matters assumed serious look What a
first was considered a joke began to wear
solemn phase. Protcstations, entreaties ant
threats were unavailing; Frank was immo
vablc. The intended brides friends wer
troubled and amazed; she herself almos
frightened to death.
In this emergency the clergyman wa
sought before his time and consulted. Sur
veying all the situation, he finally gave tn
opinion that the disparity of years prescnte
an almost insuperable obstacle, and that un
der the circumstances it would be wise an
expedient to have neither wedding nor fu
neral. He advised discontinuance of fur
ther arrangements. The match was broke
off, the coffin removed empty to the famil
vault, the meat-axe buricd-or rather pu
by for the ensuing hog-killing season-th
old groom sent drunk to bed, and Fran
stood entirely victorious.
No doubt some of you, readers, like man
of the neigLhors, shrewdly imagine the
Frank would marry Fanny. Not bit of il
He wouldn't have her; and not the least re
mantle part of the story, Fanny would'r
{ have him. She has just been married to
plain youth of the township, who, like youn
Norval in the play, tends his fathers fock
and is kept industrously at home.
The foregoing, though almost incredible
is strictly true. Our informant, the fami
clergyman, is an aged man of most veracio,
habits and excellent character. We give tt
story almost in his very words. Trul,
truth is sometimes strange-st stranger thu
+ fiction
! Is ALABAMA A STATE OR A TERRITORY 2
The question of the status of the Southel
States lately in rebellion is about to come b