Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1867-04-24
A Little of Everything.

The winter of my life has come" said
Jenkins, as he looked at his white locks in
the glass. Il perceive snow in the hair. y
Put her foot in it''-the lady who
kicked a railroad conductor in the mouth
He prosecut her and recovered damages
- My brethern,' said staid and learn
ed oracle there is great deal to be did,
and 1t IS time we were up and dtd1ihg ont. y
The Fayette (Ind. Herald tells of a
catin that place that hat he'd out couple of
chickens, by making her bed in box In
which some eggs were kept.
An unwashed street boy being asked
what made him so dirty, his reply was, Il
was made, they tell me, of the ground, and
L reckon 1t Is just working out. -
Lucy Stone once said ''There is cot
! ton IN the ears of man, and hope in the bo-
som of woman" Lucy made mistake,
and got the cotton in the wrong place.
-''Hollo there you little ragged bare
footed, bare headed fellow who is your
mastery I" Want is my MASTER replied
the poor outcast, ''and bad one he is. u
This, we must remember is the fail
season, said Mr.. Quip, as he gracefully
bumped his nose on the ice, to the amuse-
ment Oh some passers by, who Uttered
audlbly.
An old author quantity says: avoid
argument with the ladies. In spinning
yarns among silks and satins, man is sure
to be worsted, and may consider himself
wound up"
The Philadelphia Prison Agent reports
| that of the l9, 46S commitments last year,
! II, 3GI were on account Of offences directly
Tor indirectly traceable to the use Of intoxi-
eating liquors"
An Irish servant being asked whether
his master was in, replied, NO" "When
will he return?'' cob! when master gives
orders to say that he is not at home, we
never know when he will come in. -
An old lady living in Jersey City, lately
refused to let her niece dance with young
graduate of Princeton, because she heard
that he was bachelor Of arts, whereby she
understood him to be an artful bachelor.
The oil mania is reviving in the West
Virginia districts The territory in that
seosien1las been but partially developed, and
the present re action may succeed in prov
ing it much richer than the Pennsylvania
oil regions.
"A bit of unexpected morality comes
from the newspaper proprietors of New Or
leans. At recent meeting they decided to
issue no papers on Mondays, in order to give
all hands employed full opportunity for rest
on the Sabbath.
"A gentleman having occasion to call on
an author found him in his study. He re-
marked the great heat of the apartment,
and said it was 'hot as an oven. so it
ought to be, - replied the author, ''for here
| make my bread. s"
On some railroads it is customary to
have Il lock on the stove, to prevent a pas
senger from meddling with the fire. a wag
being asked why they locked the stove cool
ly replied that sit was to prevent the fire
from going out.
A little son of J. d. Magruder, Of
Walker township, Juniatta county, ,fell with
an axe in his hand, on April 18th, severing
two fingers from his hand, and injuring the
third one to such an extent that it is feared
it cannot be saved.
Come, John, sit down and eat these
potatoes and let your whisky alone, for it is
poor stuff to live upon. ''Ah, Carly, my
jewel, | would take your advice, but the ia
terS are 50 cOrjcy. - All the better, John,
for stopping your bottle. .
The hotel keepers of Indiana county
threaten to close up unless they receive Ii
cense to sell liquor. The Blairsville Press,
advises them to close at once, and let those
WIZ Ctlu Keep HOtcI Nllhouo iiOCuSS tohO
their places. A good suggestion.
"A countryman lately visiting Delmoni
co came to the word halibut in the list OF
fish on his bill of fare. and never having
seen any he thought he would try some. :.
Have you got any halibut, waiter p ''Yes,
sir. ;" 'Well, bring me a couple
The orange trees of Louisiana are hang
ing full of blossoms; every branch and
twlg Is crowded to its utmost capacity LII
no accident happens by way OF frost or
drought, the orange trees next tall VIII groah
under the weight of their golden tuit.
Mr. Snubbs perceived that the milk he
was pouring into his coffee was none OF the
richest. On this he said to his hostess
Have you any milk that is more, cheeE}m
than this?' 'What do you mean by that;
''Whv This milk seems overpowered by the
6lues"
The new style of waterfalls is likely to
be detrimental to ole-leather The water
fall on the too of ladies heads draws up
their back hair SO tight that they cant put
their feet down squarely on the pavement
without great pain, consequently, they must
walk on their tip-toes.
The Home journal is responsible for
the following: People generally do not
know that some ladies wear false lips made
of.pink India rubber, which are attached in
such a manner as to defy detection. They
give pretty pouting appearance to the lps
which may appear to be artificial
The Bedford Enq,tirer says that an en-
terprising citizen has lately erected a new
house in that town. and adds that 1t IS so
long since the inhabitants have seen any
thing of the kind. that should the owner
charge a small fee for pernissiOn TO view IT. /