Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1867-11-27
Saved by a ssA1IracIe''-A Fun
ny Sketch.

The Trenton. IN. J.) American, 8
sadly copperhead sheet, thinking oi
what it deserves in the other world,
has the grace to admit that it will be
a "darned tight squeeze" forits friends
if it should escape, and narrates thefol.
lowing:
Question to be debated at the nexi
meeting of the exclusives of the Loyal
League: "Can q man dying in the
Democratic faith, with all the requi-
sites of Christian, Go TO heaven "-
There are a very large number of peo-
pie who don't believe he can. The de
bate will be an animated one, although
like the handle of jug, sll on one
side. Who will take the afhrmatiVe?''
Why, we will, and sustain 1t by re-
lating a Boston story, which is precise
ly in point. Many years ago there
lived in the not over classic neighbor-
hood of Dock square, an old fellow who
was called by the boys, General H
He kept "gin mill" and ''prop shop"
and was, altogether, what Is known as
a hard case. One morning he address
ed a crowd of loungers thus:
"Boys | had 9 queer dream last
night-a most stornary dream-fact. ?.
"Well, General what was it? What
did you dream?"
"Well, Boys, dreamed | died"
''Nol did your Well" said all the
crowd in a breath, 'where did you go
TOT"
"Went to heaven ?"
20, come now. General. that is a
little too much you know; couldn't be
you know"
Fact. boys. for all that went to
Heaven"
"But how did you get in, General ?"
"Well, that's thequeer part ont, and
III tell you how. You see, when got
over there, made my way up to the
gate, aud knocked, and asked what
place that was, and somebody looked
over the wall, and asked me what l
wanted, and said l wanted to come
inside. Then he said he said he was
Saint Peter. and that was the gate OF
heaven, and l told him that was just
where l wanted to get to. He asked
me some questions, and was just going
to let me in, when, just my tarnal luck,
along comes the devil, and he hollered
out to Peter that l belonged to Kim,
and hadn't any business inside. OF
course, couldn't say anything, but l
feI. awful scary. Well, right away,
Peter he come outside, and says he,
Satan, what claim have you on that
soul? why, says the devil, 'he is my
man he's been selling rum and max
ing props down in Boston more than
twenty years. / admit that says Pc
ter, but didn't he always sell good liq
uorP We'll, yes, Pm bound to admit
he did, said Satan. Did he ever
cheat at prop shsking?' Not that L
can prove We'll, then,' says the
saint, you can't have him on that l
began to feel better, boys, when the
devil says, but this old fellow sold
rum on Sundays Peter looked sharp
at me, and asked me if that was so. l
darn't lie, so l said Yes, but | always
paid the largest subscription of any
man in the parish to the minister's sal
ary.' Well says Peter to Satan. that
alters the case again you see.' With
that the devil got little riled, and
says he, i can't bother here all day,
about him-suppose We rattle for him.
Agreed says Peter, and they threw
me down and sot on me, and Satan got
the first throw, and he threw three
skies OH didn't l feel myself a
goner when l felt him wriggle his tail,
for he thought, and l knew that three
skies couldn't be beat, and says he,
Peter, I've got him. Hold on says
Peter, 4 havn't had my throw yet.,-I
And he took the box. and shook, and
shook, although 1 couldn't see the use
Of it, and ss I'm Twin sinner yet. he
threw two skies and ssven! The devil
jumped up quick, and putting of. says
says he, Peter, it amt no sort Of use
If you are agoing to come them MIRA
,Lss on me, you can have himy So,
you see, boys, did get in, but it took
; miracle to do it"