Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1867-08-08
TERMS: Two Dollars and Fifty Cents, in Advance
NUMBER 43.
The Negro Race.


IS. The, Negro, Race.
/ There is but one way for the negro race
long to continue on this continent, and that
is for them to make friends of the whites
in these Southern States. It is law Of
population, which has always, and must
forever attend the spread of people over the
earth's surface, that the most intellectual
race viii drive off the inferior more
civilized will take the place ofthe less cul-
1 tiyated. These States will ultimately be
peopled by white laborers in place Of the
black race. The only question is, how long
and hon best can this result be defeared?'
The white people in the South, amongst
whom the negroes have been raised, do not
/ (and are disposed for long time to come,)
to prefer the negro, now free and to contin-
ue free, for their field laborers and domes-
! tics. 70 induce the whites to cherish this
desire, the blacks have only to be content
ed in that sphere. The less eager the black
race is to be elevated to an equality with
the whites, to which they never can attain,
the longer will the whites be determined
to do all they can to prevent an influx
Of foreigners, which will, when it must
come, crowd off the negroes to the gradual
/ extinguishment of the race On this CONT
nent. The sooner the negro sees the yam
KEGS are deceiying him the longer he will
linger in Old Virginia and North Carolina
and the border States in the South. Pee
tersbny Enpress. ts
How many doting husband would like
to change his forty year old partner for two
twenties
The young lady in Texas who adver-
tses for husband, says she can talk philoso-
ply as well as rock the cradle. g.li3
Mosby Shocks says the reason he does not
marry is, that the house is too small to cons
tain the consequences.
I s'Would that I were MANI exclaimed
strong minded woman. Would that you WERE
exclaimed the husband.
Capital weather, Mr.. Jones, capital wealth
er My wife's got such bad cold she cannot
speak like such weather."
A critic calls the verses and sentimental
stories of young writers the teeth-cutting
and measles Of literary infancy. 'i g.
D. DIS sometimes stands for double do
nations. A mans degree frequently de-
ponds on tho degree of his iberality.
! '.Well, Dick, said doctor to polite man,,
whose wife he had been attending, how is your
wife day ~ "She is dead, | thank YOU"
A vile old bachelor says that Adams wife
was called Eve, because when she appeared
man s day Of happiness was drawing toa close.
A gentleman in Iowa advertises for wife
who wears her own hair, her own teeth, her
own buzzum, and her own calves, without hav-
I ing went and gone and paid for them
A German, afflicted with bad wife, told his
master ''she vas tronk all te tay Saturday night
und all tie night Sunday morning, und vos so
Wild that kick the stairs right down her."
Mr.. Smith went home drunk, went to bed,
and lest his breath betray him, turned his face
from his wife, when she said, ''Yoa need not
turn over, for you're drunk clear through.
! r
father of three so1s and five daughters
was asked what family he had. The answer
was II have three sons and each have five sis.
ters." rsIeroy p replied The interrogation, ''sich
a family we maun have"
Here is an amended quotation, by married
man who has been waiting for his wife ''to put
her things on -
! Hone springs eternal in the husband bre asst !;
Wives never are, but always to be dressed.
/ IF YOU feel miserable, do not keep quiet
in your unhappiness, but make those around
you as uneasy as yourself-th ere is moth
ing like distributing our blessings.
The man who sang II am Lonely Since
my Mother Died, +" isn't quite so lonely now.
The old man married again, and his step
mother makes it lively enough for him.
81 believe mine will be the fate of Abel"
said wife to her husband one day. ''Why
so % inquired the husband. Because Abel
was killed by club. and your club will kill
me, if you continue to go to it every night"
s.You say, Mrs. Smith, that you have lived
with the defendant for light years Does the court
understand that you are married to him % ''1n
course it does.' "Have you a marriage GER
tifcate % Your honor, three on 'em-two
gals and boy"
poor wight married shrew, who led him
a piteous life. She fell i'll, the doctor was call
ed in. and The ANXIOUS, afectionate husband
inquired of him how his dear spouse was
Galen shook his head, and told him to prepare for
the worst. what" said he, lis she likely to
get over it y
A clergyman who enjoys the substantial
benefits Of fine farm, was slightly taken
down few days ago, by his Irish plow-
map who was sitting at his pillow, in to-
baco field, resting MS horse. The rever-
end gentleman, being an economist, said,
with great seriousness;
.'John, wouldn't it be good plan for
you to have stub scythe here and be cut
ting a few bushes along the fence while
the horse is resting short time.
John, with quite as serious counte-
II