The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1867-06-14
Nasty.

The Postmaster at the X Roads has enjoyed
a vision of the next world and is present I'm a
dreamy in the lower regions curing the consid-
Grafton of Mr.. Greeleys case. he sees Lucl-
fer "onto his burning throne, readin the Moo
York Tribune with the most puzzled express
siou onto his face he ever witnest." Lucifer
says:
a curious document and puzzles me. I'm dis
posed to consider him hOr4 It, but wat a week
shown he makes Fir, he SEE he's honest.
wich is alluz agina man, Tor a trooly honest
man kin alluz find enuff others to sa it fer
him. I'd, he tries to prove it, witch is very bad,
for the honesty witch needs provin is ov rather
scaly order. He instances his spiling his
chances for the Senat last fall by writin that
universal amnesty letter. Horris, in this mat
ter, liz, fear, playin ostrich. He haz hiz head
in the sand, and, bein blind hizzelf, fancies the
ba anz ov hiz anatomical strukter, witch ort
to be in the background, Amt visibel to the
rest ov mankind. Or, liz he really loonatic?
never he'd any idea that he wanted the sect
in the Senat. He waz in Congress wanst, and
the terrible failyer he made thar wood, eff he
waz conshis ov it, hav deferred him from seek
ing that partlker PLACE agin Then, eft he waz
really conapoS me7afis, he wood hev knOwd, or
ort to hev knowd, that he hadn't the ghost ov
chance for the place, and coodn't hav got it if
he he'd written q letter urgin the hangin ov ev-
cry rebel, from jeff son Davis down to Com
modore Hollins. 1t looks to me very much like
ez eff Horris waz playin the old game oy de-
clinin wat he'd never bin offered him. His let
ter waz sounding brass and tlnkling cymbaIs.
"5hal enter him or nOt?" askt the sekre-
tary..
Its curis case" sed Lucifer, not mindin
him. He hez bin agin me- by spasms, and
when be hez done things which 1 could ap-
prove, l hev alluz, so far, entered it up to the
account Nv loonacy, for 1 am pertikeler about
putin my claw onto any man who don't be-
long to me. / hev clear rite to every one I
git. This last trick Of his staggers me! Kin it
be that this old man wuz, all along, opposing
wrong and SIGH, not from any deep seated dis
like to the article, but becoz oppozing things
wuz his pest holt! Kin it be-hevin bin in
the minority all his life, and found therein
profit becoz it so happened that the minority
wuz rlte-that he is now anxshus to git into
that fix agin?
Does Horris spose that heyin the strength
Nv successful career to back him, and heyin
hundred thousand, more or less, who are In
the habit Nv readin him-the people will foIler
him thro the Sums Nv error jest ez lively ez
tina did over the breezy hill NV trooth? Hez
his vanity got the better Nv his discretion at
last? Hev the haDgers-on witch alluz puff in
cense INTO the face NV success bin burnin hash
eesh afore him, and hez it intossicated him p
Is he, at bis advanced age, in imitashen Nv SUIT
Lovingood's daddy, goln to play boss, forgittin
the hornets nest into witch his crate exempIar
plunsed?'
'snei put him down or not?" askt the SEX
rotary .agin, ruther impashently.
mol! rePlide Lucyter, DRAWN hisself up de-
cisiyely, EFF he splits up the Ablshnests we
shell be so deap in his det that he will deserve
to git cleer NV us. Ez it is, he hez dun enuff
TO entitle hlm to our gratitood. He kez re-
stored Jef son Davis to me-hez even enlarg-
ed ms feeld NV usefulnis. He is demonstratin
the theory that thare amt no SIGH thing as
treason, and ez matter NV course, that there
amt ben no crime committed by nv friend Da-
vis's trends. Ez Horris is establishin the fact
that the war agin my trends in the South wuz
upjustifable, l shoodent be surprised eff the
next thing he does, i'll order that iusfis NAV
be done, will be to insist that their niggers be
returned to EN-. After all, I speckt that's wat
he's drivin at
Sow that slavery's abolished, I bleeye he'd
ike to hey it restored, that he may hev suthn
to do. His okkepashen is gone, He's short
Nv subjick now. His pen hez been SO used
to writin slavery! slavery slavelyl that he's
RELY at sea now that he kin write it no more
He wants that joocy old sin set up for him to
batter at agin-he wants Lovejoy shot over
agln, and Dteedin Kansas to be repeeted.-
watts Professional Reformer, eft Their amt
nuthln to rephorm? Watts a corn doctor in
country where tina ware big boots? No! let
him go. He's shoor ov punishment enuff any-
how. He's Univarsaler, a doctrine, the mis-
take Nv wich he'll diskiver some day, but he's
likely to realize his ice Nv punishment on arth
for Wendell Phillips is aphter him and wat
wus kan he suffer? Set this last act NV his'n
down eS honesty streakt with loonacy; or ruth
er, the loonacy bein the biggest ez loonacy
streakt with honesty, and leave him out. Go
on with the reports. Where's Davis now? an
pertikelerly. where's Johnson? Eff he does
anything agin me he does it through mistake.
Keep trak of Johnson-don't let"
AT this pint wuz aroused by somebody
shakln me. 1t wuz Bascom. 1t wuz O'clock
ana ez ned net BIN over for my mornin bit
tiers, in witch dooty Pm very regular, the good
man he'd gone in search ov me. How pleasant
It's hey somebuddy to care for yoo even eff
ther solicitude springs from ten cent motive,