The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1867-02-26

its Nature 10 that of Ir. McCracken.
His Report.
| PosT OFFIs, CoSFEDRIr Y ROADS,
(Wich is in the Stait Nv Kentucky,) !
February IL, 1867.
/ 1t wuz a crooel necessity, after all,
wich druY me into the servis NV His
Egglency a. Johnson. Crooel. 1 saw.
for whenever he heZ a partikelerly mean
I piece Nv work TO perform, suthin so in
expressibly sneakin that Seward nor
/ Randall won't undertake il, thew alIuz
send for me. welles is alluz willin, but
while he hez the Opposition to do any-
thing in the line, he lacks theiability.
do anythin and the disposition TO do
most things, and therefore hev bin
employed in only extreme cases.
The success wich attended McCrack-
ems mission, endin ez it did in the re-
sinin NV Motley, stimulated Seward to
prosecute similar researches into the
actooal opinions NV the home crop NV
othsers regardin him and his, and my
sooperior, a. johnson. Randall was
applied to take tour among Post Mas
tiers and sich. He declined the mission
Indignantly, with the remark, sis thy
he shood do this thing? And ez welles
isn't trusted out nv Washington any
more, wuZ sent for.
The biZnis requ uired NV me wuz statid
by Seward in his Soosual lucid styIe.
Il wuz merely to cirkelats f,lcoo5,ifo
(wich is Latin for sneakinA among the
recently appinted otis holders and as
sertain ther views upon general politi-
kIe topics, but more especially tber
ieelins toward the President and Sex
retary Nv State. Jest ez wuz startin,
not at all pleased with the mission.
me!les put in his oar. He wuz agoing
TO give me instrucshuns ez to wat / wuz
to do. WelleS is a lunatik Ineyer Good
abide, and L felt it my dooty to wither
him. Iranshxin the venerable Sekre-
tary with one NV my most piercenist
gazes, L remarked: "Siri in imitasben
nv the man who inflicted YOU upon this
country, wich wuz not the least NV his
acts Tor wlch the country cusses him, 1
propose relatin a little anecdote. Their
wuZ wunst a man who wuz inebriatid,
and that he might present hisself in a
state approximating sobriety to the
pardner NV his buZZum, he wuZ essay
IN TO voTnit, tryin thus to ease his STUN
ick NV the cause NV the .oupleasantnis
therein, but he coodent do il. He heav-
ed and heaved, but ther wuz no result.
AT this critikle period another man APP
preached, who remarked kindly that,
ef he desired to vomit, his best holt
wood be to run his finger down his
throat. The drunk individooal looked
up indignant at this unwarranted inter-
ference with his constooshnel rites.
"BlaSt yoor eyes, sir, !" Sed he, "are WOO
or me bossin this yer puke?
This, Sekretnry Welles is the anec-
dote. / resPeck the posishen VOC hold.
and dislike sayin anything disagreea-
bic, but, sir, this is a puke, and per-
pose to boss it myself"
L startid TO wunst, and found things
in highly mixed condition. The fol-
Iowln Is compiled from my reports: In
Moo York the POstmasters generally
are sound. The crops were poor last
year, and all kinds NV biznis bein dull,
the Pcstmasters are generally anxious
to hold on. They are, therefore, out
spoken in their support NV the coz
Them ez WIZ men Nv good standin and
rellglously inclined, before the rupcher
between the President and the party
wich redoost him. say but very little in
public, and that little they don't saw
long. They generally can't see that
ther Is any partlkeler difference be-
tween the Presidents plan and the plan
NV Congress, and ther bein so little,
Congress ought to yield for the sake NV
peace. The DimOcrats holdin sich
places are loud enough in support NV
the Administrashin, but good Heaven!
the endorsement NV sich men is TOO
heavy a load for any party TO carry
Now, that think NV il, L hev at last
solved the mystery NV our ide-spread
defeat last fall. In some Deestricts the
Dimocracy found johnson too heavy a
load to carry, aud in the balance the
Johnson men found the Dimocracy too
heavy a load to carry.
In Ohio, the first place I stopped at
wuz Ooerln, the place where the mig
ger college is located at. 1 regret 10
say that the Postmaster at that pint is
a rantin Ablishuist, and in the two
hours l wuZ there, / coodent find a
Conservative Republican who wood
take 1t. got one nearly persuaded,
hFNF TTafG NJ has
Wife fell weepin onto his buzZum, and
with tetchin pathos wanted to know eff
ne wuz willin, for sich small pay, to
leave sich a tarnisht name To the four
children now born to em and the Wun
wich wuz expected? He repentid and
refused. 1 didn't investigate ez fully
eZ might, for ther amt a drop nv lik-
ker sold there, and ez my flask give
out, L felt that doc consideration for
my health WoOdent permit my stayin
another hour. L recommend the aboli- |
ton Nv the office, or the establishment
nv a grosery, with a bar in the back |
room, eZ nucleus around wich the
DimOcrisy kin rally. -.. -a#.r
The next place l come to found the
Postmaster suSpishus scharacter-Very
suspishus. Whenever he is drunk he
speaks very highly Nv the Sekretary
Nv State, but when sober he avoids
poliukle matters. sejest a raise in
afford TO keep drunk all the time.
AT the next pint 1 interdoost myself
eZ English nobleman in disguise,
studyin Amerikin manners and GUS
toms, and menshund carelessly that
he'd bin 10 Washinton, and he'd bin pre-
sentid to the President and Secretary
NV State. TIE Postmaster wuz yisahly
sffectid. Glancin furtively around 70
see that no one wuz lookin, he'remark-
ed in q low tone: "My deer sir, don't,
beg Nv 700, form yoor idea nv the
public men nv Ameriky from them
specimens. Don't, / beg. The first,
sir, is a accident-sich a man Good new
er hev bin made on purpose. The sec
ond wuZ Euthin, in his earlier years,
but now, sir, now-he's degraded old
man." and he bustid into tears. "Bein
determined to hold onto his place, he
tried at fust TO bring the President, by
accident, up 10 his level; but that bein
impossible, ne deliberately let hisself
down to the level NV the President, and
the distance, sir, wuz SO great, the Sex
retary bein suthin, that the shock, sir,
undoubtedly knockt his fntelleck cut
Nv him, for he amt displayed any
May the Lord forgive Willyum 81.
Seward for the shipwreck he made nv
his reputashen, for"
AT this pint the poor man stopt. I
happened TO pull out my hankercher
and in doin SO dropt upon the floor a
piece Nv paper wich he seed. It read:
PETROLEUM V. Massey, DR..
ToG. Bascomb.
To drinks doorin the month NV
January at 10 cents per drink, $50 90