The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1867-09-20

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EARTIAn JUsMoE Ar LASr IN MissI
Fray. of England, has at length OBJ
tanned, some property from the Chan,
Gerry Courts of that country. This is
the lady whom Dickens calls elittle
Miss Elite, in Bleak House, and he
puts these words into her mouth:
'sHere will be, a Judgment at the day
OF Judgment" It seems it has come
sooner than she expected. MI
/ HEAVY FAILURE OF BRoKERs. The
New York Post says:i"A large in
snrance and brokerage agency in
Boston, which has branches in New
York and Chicago, has suspended
payment. Their liabilities are said
to be 100000, and many OF the in
surance companies of this city, for
whom they acted as agents in other
places, are sufferers by the failure"
Apropos of Greeley's pettish de-
sertion of the Albany Convention,
the Journal, of that city, remarks:
Nothing can supply the place of
his melodious voice, his child-like
smile, and the expression of angelic
innocence which beams from his
countenance when taking his daily
snooze. Come back, Horace-come
back!"
A gentleman was bathing at the
seaside, and swimming right gallant
ly, when Il Newfoundland dog sprang
into the water and insisted upon
saving him. The gentleman declined,
but was eventually obliged to give
way for fear of being drowned, and
was quietly pulled on shore by the
hair of his head.
The Viceroy OF Egypt, while in
London, said to one of his English
entertainments notorious man of plea
sure: II don't see that there is
much difference between you and
us. With us rich man keeps all
his wives under one roof; but in this
country you rich men have sepa-
rate house for every wife"
During the war, lady passing
from cot to cot through the wards of
hospital, was shocked to hear one
fellow laugh ut her. She stopped to
reprove the wretched patient. "Why,
ma'am" says he, "you have given
me tract on the sin of dancing,
when I have both legs shot Off"
Hinton Ro wan Helper, who did
more than any other man to procure
the abolition of slavery, and precipi-
tate the war, was in Statesville, N.
c., last week The american says
that he persisted in carrying out his
principles by refusing to allow ne
gro to drive him to Davidson College.
A modern philosopher, taking the
motion of tho earth on its axis at
seventeen miles n second, says that
if you take off your hat in the street
to bow to friend, you go seventeen
miles bare-headed without taking
cold.
Rev. DIR. Chaplin gets n salary of
$1,000, and lectures for 375 night.
Ten years ago, Dr. Chaplin used to
say that he lectured for F-a-m-e-i.
e., "Fifty And My Expenses" Now
he lectures for the S-a-m-e-i. e.,
"Seventy-five And My Expenses.
Brown has won the race, but
Hamill claims FOUL" remarked
Tiifins to Thompson yesterday. eyes;
but is it turkey or chicken that
he claims?" queried Thompson. ooh,
it's an aquatic fowl" replied Tifins.
A sensitive lady from the country,
looking for n coach: "Pray, sir, are
you engaged?" Cabman: "Och, bless
yer purity soul, ma'am, I have been
married these seven years, and have
nine children"
In Dayton, Ohio, when young
ladies fancy themselves insulted, they
get q cow-hide and handful Of
cayenne pepper, and apply one to the
back and the other to the eyes of the
offender.
England uses about 22O, 1000, 900
pounds of paper annually. France
yearly consumes 1876, ,oOO,o 900, while
the United States demands more
paper than both these countries
combined-404, 600, 900 pounds.
The other evening, lady, who
pretended to be asleep until her beau
had we'll kissed her, woke up as if in
the greatest amazement, and said,
81 think you ought to be ashamed.
A man is under arrest in Washing
ton for stealing a house. He took
the parts lit was frame dwelling)
to pieces, and carted them away to
set up in another part of the city.