Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1867-03-21
wit and Hulnor.

-rsh-Gambling in grain isspeculating IN
lot o. rye. 49,. -+ .l... al. -.3 g.
WHEN a Joker dies, what kind of a
vehicle does he make. Answer A wag-gone. g
When have married people passed
through the alphabet of love? When they reach
the babe. at "tF y i-I --.i@t IS =
An advertiser in one of our ex-
changes wants "a young man to take charge of a
span of horses of religious turn OF mind Ga1
-"Have you much fish in your
baskety asked person of fisherman, who was
returning. 'Yes, good cell was the rather
slippery reply. axis. .--..-..-,.,
i Josh Billings said the other night,
that a good way for man to bring mp child in
the way 1t should go, was to travel that way ocCa
sionaly himself. ''''3 e''.l.aiAOh GAG ~
"A locomotive on a Western railroad
has been adorned with the title, II still live"
That is more than many of the passengers can say
at the end Of their journey. % va. Ee.-e.Q ...
i''---" Mr. Smith, you said you boarded
at the Columbian Hotel forsix months you foot
your billf" No sir, but it amounted to the same
thing-the landlord footed me.
3...--A gentleman just returned to this
country from tour in Italy was asked how he
liked the ruins of Ponpeii Not very well, was
the reply, " they are so out of repair r. ea
Lord Buckingham was once at din
ner where MIR. Grub was required to sing. He
begged to be excused, urging that he knew not
what to sing Sing Ia be butterfly" suggested
the nobleman.~ II "ais@ -"tNt.l.I EA'a
Suppose queen resolves to pare her
thumb nails only once in seven years, why is that
year like the said queens robes of office? Answer
Because it is her pare her nailyear. A patent
Is applied for. '' ~''-'' -
= An author, who had given a comedy
into the hands of Foote for his perusal. calling on
him for his opinion of the piece, Foote returned
upon it, this is thing not to Be laag he'd at.
A gentleman having occasion to call
upon anauthor. found him in his study, writing.
eaid sit is hot as an oven SO ought to be, y
replied 1.-THE author for it's here 1 make my
IAN absent minded gentleman en-
tered Blenkers blacksmith shop in Evansville,
Ind. last Saturday, and ordered his horse shod. On
being asked where his horse was, he looked down
at his feet and exclaimed, why, thought was
riding s.li- u lHl.{ gIl. 4!fr ns..g, -~.u
"A newly arrived boarder at one of
our fashionable boarding houses thought he had
not sufficient bolstering for his head, and accord
ingly carried the pillows down to the landlady e
room, who inquired what he desired. The gentle
he held in his handsf 'sPilows, you impudent
fellow u screamed the enraged woman. < Oh!
thought they were pin cushions" replied the dis
consulate boarder. f.s, q... ...ts.~-. .-ftar.
MIR B accompanied by his wife
for wife No.'2 While selecting, the knight Of the
chisel addressed Mr.. b as follows: "Mr. B,
/ think you are one of the luckiest men l ever
knew why so, Mr.. S-f' "Why, here you
are with your third wife, and the most of Us poor
de Ills must stick to one as long as we live: Mrs;
- No 8 went into an outburst of laughter not
readily described. s'7 ar In eee+.s.gt.s-.t {. ..
The Maine Former tells story of
man whom it calls Neverbeat. Somebody having
boosted of the speed of his horse, Neverbeat re-
Joined, "Why, the other day, was up to S.,
sixteen miles distant just as startedfor home a
shower came sweeping on. The rain struck in the
back part of the wagon and the moment it struck,
l hit old Kate cut with the whip; away she
trotted, scarcely touching her iorefeet to the
ground she kept nip and nip with the shower.
The wagon was filed with water, but not drop
fell on me-
An Irish boy, trying hard to get a
place denied that he was Irish. II don't know
what you mean by not being an Irishman, but
this do know that you were born in Ireland. y
"Och, yer honor, if that's all, small blame that.
Suppose your old cat had kittens in the oven
would they be loaves of bread?F The boy got the
place. ''''''" +
Daniel O'Connell saved cow thief
from hanging, though the fellow was condemned
to transportation. He afterwards returned to Ire
land and made himself known to O'Connell, and
in re quital for his services as counsel, said he
would impart a valuable secret, If your honor
wants to steal COW, go on dark rainy night and
take COW that stands out in the field, and sure
yell get good one. The weakly ones, yer honor,
always shelter under the hedge if the weather is
bad % b. FIJI. si ..... +. ....t... T..s ...4f