The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1867-02-09
6on.,.bon,. Got upfsslast and dres-

.sd. Began to eat my breakfast. An
other ring OF the bell. Short man With
shiny hat. Wore what my oldest girl
called esprit cur1s;n Had . bull dog
with q head like s.cast-iron water spout
and crooked legs. Said he'd found nay
dog. Told him thss wasn't him. Said
he knew it was, rather savage. Dog
began to growl, and looked hard at me-.
Assumed q mild, persuasive tone' ana
described my lost canine. Fellow said,
anyhow his was a better dog than mine,
and he guessed he would leave him. l
said I wouldn't have him under any cir
cumstances. Fellow pushed the dog,
and said s.s-s-ketch 'em. Dog made a
dash at me. Springing inside, and shut
the door in his face. Went in the par
lor and watched him leave through the
front gate. Saw another man coming
in. Had a ridiculous poodle with a
brass collar around his neck. Threw
up the window and told him that wasn't
my dog, so he needn't bring him in. He
eyed me with a sarcastic style, and said,
l couldn't afford to own o dog like that.
Told him / didn't want to, either. Said
that dog had killed his nineteen rats in
four minutes, he had. Said / wouldn't
believe him if he crossed his breast to
it. Fellow then dared me to come out.
Said he would poke me in the nose, or
something of that sort. "tH '-
l didn't so ont.
Another ring at the bell. This time
a fellow in q fur cap, and a yellow mon
grel that had but ono eye Asked me
if 7 l had lost u dog. Said VOC. Fur cap
said he had found him, and wanted the
reward. Told him that wasn't my dog.
Fur cap wanted to know if my dog
wasn't named Jack. Said he was. he
then called his bilious-looking canine
by that name. Dog tapped his attenu-
ated tail against the pavement three or
four times, and flung his unchanged
optic around in a wild sort of style.
Wasn't convinced however, and the fur
cap left after breaking the third COM
mandment in a most horrid manner.
Hadn't got fairly in the house before
there was another call. This time o
chap in tattered raiment, nothing pur-
pie about him but his nose, and no fine
linen on, or coarse either, as far as l
could see. Had a big black and tan
terrier with him. Dog looked a good
deal scared. Had q way of putting his
tail between his legs. Ny impression is
that the fellow went out and hunted up
the dog to get the reward. Didn't seem
to take kindly to his education. SyntaI
was defective. Said he had fetched
back that dog of y%ourn." Told him that
was not the one | had lost. Fellow in
sisted that it was. Seemed rather down.
hearted because ! wouldn't take him.
Asked me if I didn't observe how glad
the dumb beast was to see me. Said L
hadn't observed it. Fellow said I'd re-
gret it if l let such n chance slip to get
y valuable beast. Said | guessed I'd
have to let her slip. Then he tho't a
while, and asked me if 1 wouldn't lend
him five dollars anyhow, and take the
dog as security. Told him / was unable
to perceive it precisely from that stand
point. So he went away, looking as if
he felt hurt.
Then another man came with a fierce
looking hound with hairless tail. Hound
rushed right at me and commenced X
ercising his Olfactories up and down my
trowsers. Looked as if he might bite
with the least provocatiOn. Man said
he'd brought my dog. Told him rather
sharp that my dog was a terrier. Said
so was this one. Caught rats before
eyes were open, and had been engaged
in that blo%od-thirsty occupation regu-
larry ever since. Told him couldn't
take him. Man said he wouldn't leave
without the five dollars. Said / would
see him in the tomb of the Capulets
first. Fellow thought l was swearing
ut him, and struck at mo. Dog took it
up right off, flew at me, and tore my
trowsers, besides tasting my flesh. l
escaped into the entry, shut the door,
and locked it. Determined not to an
swer any more rings. Bell was pulled
two hundred and se~venty-iive times
more. Didn't answer it. Understood
afterwards that several of my friends
had been to see me, and gone away Of
Tended. About dinner time went up
and looked out of the window. Found
seventy-fvs or eighty men there, all
of whom had dogs. Bull terriers, SPAN
iels, setter pups, ~bloodhounds, double
noscd pointers, Newfoundlands, lap
dogs, whifiits, gray hounds, mastiffs,
mongrels. Dogs with straight tails,
curly tails, bob tails, and 10 tails ut all.
Yellow, black, white, brown, spotted
and ilea-bitten. 1 suppose that ever
went on four legs, or three either, were
gathered in my front yarl. Put the
sash up, and attempted to dispense the
crowd. Crowd commenced to talk all
at once. Dogs all howled, yelped, bark
ed, and snarled. Couldn't hear my own
voice, and shut the window in disgust.
Haven't seen my dog yet. Don't ever
expect to see him. Don't want ever to
see him OF any other dog. Have seen
enough of dogs to last me the balance
of my natural life.
Horrible stories are i'll circulation
connecting dogs with restaurant sau-
sages. Hope my dog is tucked away in
some sausage skin. Wish all the dogs
were made into one large sausage, and