Delaware State journal and statesman. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1855-1870, 1867-03-26
WIT AND HUntoR,
"ANY ONE WILL DO"


Of paint and such like, for resource.
With oil her might, this anolent maid,
Beneath an oak tree knelt and prayed,
Unconscious all that grave owl
Was perched above-the mousing fowl |
80, give-a husband, give" she cried,
"Whlle yet may become bride,
Soon will my day of grace be Ger,
And then like many maids before,
I'll die without an early love,
And none TO meet me there above
',0h its fate too hard to bear;
Then answer this my humble prayer;
And, oh husband give to mep
Just then the owl, perched up the tree,
In deep bass tones, cried, ''Whoo-uhoo-
whoo?"
"who, Lord And dost thou ask me who
Why, any one, good Lord, will dol"
A DEFENCE FOR SHOOTING PAnsoS. S.-"Ah,"
said the vicar, that reminds me Of little inci-
dent which occurred in the early life Of my
worthy Diocesan. He was shooting parBon.
When he was visiting Lady Hadley-she is very
evangelical, you know--he proposed to join her
son on a little shooting expedition. The old
lady demonstrated mildly, but at length sought
consolation in the belief that out Of evil would
come good, Thomson, her keeper, was not a.
all up to her religious standard SO she charged
the Bishop TO say few words Of exhortaton to
the men when they were in the delds together.
| His lordship took an opportunity on the return
homeWard to advice Thompson to go to church
regularly and read his Bible. "Why do read
my Bible" said the man shut do not find in
it any mention Of the Apostles going shooting
mo, my good man you are right; the shoot
ing was very bad about Palestine, and they went
fishing instead"
How He BRouoHT IN HIS CANS "A miner ai
Pixies Peak took his gun and Btrsyed short
J distance from the camp and shot a cub. net OBJ.
serving at the time the old bear, who WAS neal
at hand, ready to avenge the death Of her on
} spring. The hunter approaching his game Witi
an exultant air, glowing in his success, ant
s anticipating the astonishment Of his companion
s to SEQ him march into their midst with an ampl
d supply Of tender bear meat, when, to his suE
prise, he saw large bear bounding toward him
Q yery much determined to demolish him at
0 single meal.
o Our hero dropped his gun and started Of hk
l. frightened deer down the HILL His companion
n saw him coming. tearing through the brush' an
;, sung out to him-"What's the matter !"
l. "Gi-gi.gi-git your gups-ready for a shot
stammered he, almost out Of breath; "I'
bringin' her right into campi"
A fellow went to the parish priest and to-
m him, with long face, that be had seen shos
10 "When and where :" said the pastor. LA
e. night" replied the man, al was passing by q
at church, aud up on the wall Of 1t did bsho
We the spectre ?" "In what shape did Ii appear
he asked the priest. at appeared in the shape
ur a great ass" ''Go home and hold your tong
n about it," rejOiued the pastor, ''yOu are We
ay timid man, and have been frightened BY 20
We own shadow"
eu WHINE or PEaGH's LOVER.
ne When Peggy's arms her dog imprisoD,
am always wish my neck were hisen,
to How often would stop and turn
'se To get pat from hand like herni
len And when she kisses Towser's nose.
ter Obi don't wish that were thosef
'us A physician in Wisconsin being disturbed
~ night by a burglar, and having no ball or q
3D. for his pistol, noiselessy loaded the weapon "
noe dry. hard pills, and gave the intruder d
p ps' which he thinks will go very far toward cur
.no the rascal Of decidedly bad ailment.
~ -, ..t.iu t.1;r, 10 axntain anma ani
hat lover Na'n'y uS'us '" eNp
!, ti6c theory to his fair inamoIAta, said;
al, "The question is difficult, and don't
han what can do to make it clear"
nd "suppOse you pop it" whispered the blush
hat damsel.
tale A lawyer, neither young nor handsome, "
- examining witness in court, desiring to peri
,Or. her, said "Miss, upon my word, you are '
v pretty" The young lady promptly replied !:
aise would return the compliment, cir, II we're
ers. under OATH"
the The lady who did mot think it respeotabl
air, bring up her children to work. has recently h'
are frem her two sons-one is barkeeper on
We boat, and the other is q steward in brick'y
hose A Yankee proposes to build an establish
An which he may drive sheep into at one end
vel hsvs n com. out At the other as four quartz
attic mutton, felt hat, pair Of drawers les
less' apron, snd quarto dictionary.
An Arkansas colonel bad the following I
wing for mounting his men;
omes First order--frepare ler TUT gu on'o yot
9 are turs!
Second Order-Gitf
city SAYS an astronomer to u bright-eyed
brain when talking of rainbows, "Did you ever
Ise Of lunar bow, Misst' II have seen beau
were moonlight, il that's what you mean," ws
lbtu' sly rejoinder.
gen uHenry, love, wish you would throw
; his that book, and talk with mel feel so dull
it be- long silence and DO reply.l o, Henry, my
the is asleep p ais it2 Well, don't talk, des
. iell might wake it up"
'0n'ls man carrying a cradle was stopped
. 'ne old woman, aud thus aceosted;-"so 81
sPeak have got some of the fruit Of martin
'AO'p' ,sOftly, old lady" said 10, ''yOu miatakei
'sU merely the fruit-basket."
s.on, FoOte, praising the hospitality Of the
~, after one Of his trips to the sister-klng
e gentleman asked him whether he had ever
- "nd Cork? "No, sir" replied Foote 81 ha'
.svsroI many drawings Of it,"
morn. In the death returns Of New York, last
j-ss,d the hanging of Wagner, the wife mu
ror ,be comes under the head Of "DeathS from a
we'll - or negligence
Iieines9 Bach being asked his opinion Of wal
.,,,.ht that fllino in the region Of thu