The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1867-09-27

on opening the letter, each found twenty-six
stamps returned for the thirteen he had for.
warded, and had turned up the quotation:
And It came to pass as they emptied their
sacks, behold every mans bundle Of money
was in his sack,
I stopped my advertisements for q week.
stu a few struggling applications dropped In,
making the total number of replies two hun
dred and twenty-seven.
Now, I know very well that ont of my two
hundred and t~wenty-seven constituents, each
OF whom had received a present OF thirteen
postage stamps, there would hardly be one
who would not apply to me again. In gene.
raj way, If n fish take your bait and be not
hooked, he will come back to you. Most OF
my fish would reason thus 81 cannot lose
anything, for, thirteen postage stamps In
pocket, l risk nothing by q second venture.
But / depended most of all on securing IN each
of my clients the very best advertising me-
dunn l could desire; for / notice that whereas
people who get stupidity swindled are apt to
hold their tongues about 1t, persons successful
In matters Of doubtful issue are invariably
anxious to inform their friends how very
ehrewd they have been. In q week ! resumed
my advertisements; three more insertions.
I had not miscalculated the result. No fewer
than one hundre and ninety-four applica-
tions came from g original Shareholder AT
the end Of ten days the total number OF my
subscribers. amounted to seventeen hundred
and forty-eight.
You will guess, perhaps, that I 'so,o kept all
the stamps. You miSjudge me cruelty, and 40
lDluSLlCe 10 JIG SitluLuIy leSSOHS ~ AZ
ment and contemplation. I returned the
stamps of eight hundred of the applicants,
with thirteen more enclosed in each envelope,
and the same reference to Genesis, taking care
to reply to only half the letters from eact
town. Then I inserted my last advertise
ment:
THE GOOD THING.-The Adver-
i tiser requests the indulgence Of his CORE
epondents. They are so numerous 1t is utterly I'M
RIS oss,b1ss oN TO rep' y at .t each AL Client rs'a shall resei Hsse due
attention in rotation.
In q fortnight l was inundated with letters.
They came from all parts of the kingdom.
Many of them were stamped with comets,
crests, and monograms, that surprised me,
though I had made such proficiency in the
study Of such devices on spoons in by-gone
years. My friend, the porter, brought the
letters to my lodgings every morning and eve
ming on q pair of hnnd-trucks,u until in all l
had received twelve thousand four hundred
and seyenty-one. Then Messrs. Danton i
Birch had their attention directed to the fact
of their house being used rs my address. They
surprised their porter in the act Of running y
a cargo of my letters him they discharged ;
the letters they confiscatcd. 1t grieyes me to
reflect on the melancholy fate of the porter,
likewise the number of postage stamps di-
verified from their regular channel. 1t is fair
to say, though, that l believe Messrs. Danton
& Birch religiously returned every postage
stamp that fell into their hands. This is
highly satisfactory to 4 mind, sc. Even l
| could nave done no more.
You will very likely think that1 poD stopped
the correspondence? Not quite correct, even
now. Honesty is ever the best policy. First,
l took the precaution of moving my letters,
my valuable stamps, and my valuable self
into the country. Then, from my rural retreat,
l proceeded to impart 10 my twelve thou
sand four hundred and seventy-one constitu-
ents the grand arcanum and mystery Of "The
good thing" Although at a tremendous sac
rifice Of stamps, l held myself pledged to re-
NV to each CORRESPONDENT, as an honorable
and q professional man.
That my privacy might not be disturbed by
disagreeabie inquiries, l took the precaution
to forward my letters twice a week to London
in a bale, to my friend the pawnbroker, for
the sake of the London post-mark. He posted
them for me at the " Gerald"
1t took exactly Il month to complete my eX-
tensiye correspondence. No postage stamps
were returned this time but each letter con-
tanned the following piece of advice, neatly
inscribed on the best baronial cream laid note
land in my opinion it is 4 precept more price
full than postage stamps, and should be writ
ten in letters Of gold)
To inquirers for the Good Thing See Luke Y, 81.
Go and do likewise.
With a view to attract into the paths of
honesty and virtue those of my misguided
brethren still pursuing the highly reprehensi-
BILE occupation of vulgar robbery, l subjoin
my balance sheet, which cannot fail to prove
an incentive TO the practice of honest labor
Tor Gally DfeaQ. In PROOF Oh us uiNluS taught
me the beauties of rectitude, l wish to call at
tention to one item it contains. I refer to in
come tax. My. retiring and gentle nature
could not brook 4 return" TO undergo the
scrutiny of 4 curious surveyor; but q recent
number of the Times contains the following
notification: 1.-THE Chancellor of the EXche-
ouer begs TO acknowledge the receipt Of the
second half ola Bank of England note for ten
pounds, on account ofincome tax, from NJ,
ESQ., Need l add tnatM. stands for lie
l wish to add 7 general moral.
To steal in the lump from any one person
is disreputable and foolish, besides rendering
YOU amenable to the law but so to conduct
Your negotiations rs to distribute 4 given loss
(your profit among the largest possible body
of constituents is the true theory of CONNER
cial prosperity.
THE RAIaScF SHEET