The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1867-01-29
" A R / e T Y .
.....,

If you had gone half crazy at not
having won your sweetheart as wife, re-
member you might have gone the other
half if you had succeeded. E
What is the best way to curb wild
young mani To bride him.
Why is a dogs tail great novelty2
Because no one never saw it before.
didn't you tell me you could holdths
plowP" said farmer to an Irishman he
had taken on trial. :
"Be aisy, now" said Pat; "How could
| hold it an two horses pullin' it away7
Just stop the creatures and I'll hold it
for ye.
What things increase the moro you
contract them? Debts.
A lady about to marry was warned
that her intended, although a good man.
was very eucentric. "Well," she said.
"if he is very unlike other men,. he Is
more likely to be good husband"
A man who was once on journey,
said he never liked to see the tables
covered with books and newspapers where
be stopped at night. "For," said he.
Il can never find any, whisky at such
places"
FoRTrrUDE UNDER DIrrIcuLT1Es.-
Let him not imagine, who aims at great
ness, that all is lost by single ad-o
verse cast of fortune; for if fortune al
une time getthe better of courage, ,cours9as
may Afterwards recover the advantage.
He who is prepossessed with the assu.
rance of overcoming, at least ovsrcomes
the fear of failure; whereas, he who 10
apprehensive of losing. loses in reality.
all hope ofsubduing. BolJness and pow.
er are such inseparable companions, that |.
they appear to be born gether; and
when once divided, they both decay, and
die at the same time. ss sisst
The French artist Cham pays his re-
spects to American cashiers. in the Usi-
GERS Hlastrs as follows. aAn applicant
presents himselfat banker s-'T have
been cashier in America. Very well,
you ran away with the cash, box, and con-.
|sequently you cannot return there, Its |.
a safeguard, and viii employ you. " ss1 $
A young friend Of the editor Of the
Wiscohsis Chief who spent eight months
lin Andersonville prison, made remark
that he used to wonder, as they sat ins
the den day after day, whether they still I
were on earth or had died and gone to
hell" -.
A wit being told that an old aequain.
tance was married, exclaimed. II am glad
to hear it, But rejecting a moment.
he added, in tone Of compassion and
forgetfulness, "and yet l don't know why
| should be-: he never did me auy harn,.'
CLERICAL wrr.-An old gentleman Of
eighty -four having taken to the altar
young damsel of about sixteen, the cler.4
gyman said to him: 1.-The tent is at the
other end Of the chrfeh.n "What dol
want with the fontf" said the old gentle.
man. .0hlI beg your pardon" said
the clerical wit, / thought you had j
brought this child to be christeasd.' =
Perdition is paved With neglected OPP
portunitics. ,s.s6 =
Lord Falkland was elected, when very6
young, to sit in parliament. When he
was FIRST elected some of the members op-
posei his admission, urging that be had
not sown all his wild oats. sThen, re- {
pied he, '.it will be the best way to sow
them in the house, where there are SO
many geese /, pick them up. =
'Do You think raw oysters are hsslthy9'
asked lady of her physician. M
Yes, be replied, i yer knew one to
be out Of health in my life.
Why is dog with broken leg like
boy in arithmetic? Because he puts
down three and carries one. set IL
"Before love comes in at the door" il
would be we'll for him to peep through
the keyhole. He might see something
that would prevent him from entering.
A Western farmer being obliged to sell i
a yoke of oxen to pay his hired man.
told him he could not keep him any lon
ger. why" said the man, sI'll stay
and tlke some of your cows in place Of
money" "B,t what shall / dc" said
he farmer, when my cows aud oxen are :
all gomez "Why you can work for me,
and GET them all back"