davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1867-09-20

3 nWere you guarded in your con.
duct while in New York?" said n
father to his son, who had just re-
turned from his first visit to the city.
s'Yes, sir. part of the time by two
policemen" q IL
An English workman. who died re-
Gently of delirium tremens. had been
accustomed to quenching his thirst
with fifteen quarts of ale every day.
A tender-hearted railway engineer
says he never rms over o man when
he can help it, "because it muses. up
the track So"
D'Israeli is growing old, but not
gray; his hair is said to be still black
as q ravens wing, and it curls.
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1867-09-20

SAMBo PROGRESSING. The New
Orleans Times says:
cit is undeniable that O. strong
feeling of caste-of exclusiveness-is
growing up in the breasts of the
colored people, and that the tendency
to ignore white men as counsellors
and leaders though they be of
the most radical type politically-is
constantly on the increase. Even at
this early day, long before an cleo
tion for new local governments can
be held, there is scarcely State or
municipal Office that can be named
for which q negro candidate has not
already been put forward, with strong
and active supporters ut his back. A
colored man now holding Office by
appointment of Gen. Sheridan boast
ed on a leading thoroughfare, in
tones to be heard by passers, that he
would be the next sheriff elected, if
it cost him $50, 900. He is confident
OF succeeding without any such libe-
raj expenditure. Another is quite as
confident Of being the next mayor
The member of Congress from the
First District is decided upon, and so
on to the end of the list"
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1867-09-20

The ADVANCE IN GoLD.-The Re-
publican journals are obliged to adj
NIT that the rapid advance in gold,
within few days past, is the result
of apprehension of some serious
trouble at Washington as soon as the
rump Congress ensembles. The
New York Times financial article)
says:
owe remark the absence of every
thing like decided confidence in the
early fall in price, below about 14O
per cent, even among the short SELL
ers in the Gold Room. The source
of this feeling is in the political stu
alton, the complications of which are
not expected to be removed before
the meeting of Congress in Novem-
ber."
The New York Tribune (money
article) says:
"Gold has taken another upward
surge, touching 1863. The Trea-
sury still hesitates to interpose, and
by increasing the rate Of interest to
seven per cent, give q severe check
to gambling in gold and over-trading
in all directions. The Secretary can
effect this object readily by selling
800 bonds moderately and keeping
the legal tenders he gets in pay
ments."
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1867-09-20

In the outskirts of an American
city,, Philadelphia, there is very
small Episcopal Church, entitled
''"The Church of James the Less;" but
the irreverent urchins of the neigh
borhood call it "The Little Jimmy. "
In the neighborhood of the same
city there is n church which was
largely built by the funds of an emf
nent American financier, who sold
greatquantities of Government bonds,
and this church by the irreverent has
been dubbed "The Church of the
Holy Five-Twenties.
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1867-09-20

A New York paper publishes an
article on the 'esoteric attributes of
the city's feeding places, which as
serts that that all the restaurants save
one nre in n condition almost in
describably filthy. Viands are han
died with unwashed palms and fin
gers. The sweat of the cooks brow
havors the soup made by his hands,
while over the half-prepared edibles
the cheerful cockroach and COSY
croton bug promenade or prance at
will.
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1867-09-20

SPECIMEN OF PREsIDENr.-Th
Hon. Ben. Wade recently in speech
at Portsmouth, Ohio, spoke thus:
Compare negro-voting Tennessee
with rebel-cursed Kentucky. In the
latter they elected a full ticket of
traitors to Congress. and they come
up and demand seats there, but not
one devil of them will get seat
there. (Cheers, and repeated cries of
'good.o You may call it despotism,
but what sort of despotism is it to
exclude from the Government men
who openly tried to destroy it? It is
quite enough if we spare their devil
ish necks, (cheers,) and my right
hand shall forget its cunning before
ever vote for their admission. You
must exclude them for the safety of
your Government. Let rebel Ken
tucky try it over again"
This man is to be President of the
United States, in case Johnson is
impeached. What man for such an
office
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1867-09-20

FREEDMAN KILLED. D.--We learn.
without hearing the particulars, that
q yt ung freedman, bearing the name
of George Dial, was shot and killed,
in his own yard, near Clinton, in this
District, on Tuesday night last, by
another freedman, one Bob Young,
the same who made the radical, in
flammatory haranguc to the freed
men here on Saturday last
LaUeaScHe Herald.
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1867-09-20

Having complete printing Office,
superintended by the proprietor, we
can execute every description of book
and job printing-bill and letter
heads, circulars, labels, posters, pro-
grammes, business, wedding and in
vitation cards, railroad receipts,
checks, drafts, &c. Our friends will
find it to their interest land ours) to
give us call.
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1867-09-20
NOTICE.

FTNHE writer of two anonymous commu-
4; a nications,, both dated at Columbia, the
and dated July Is. 1857 anu the latter
signed 'STOCKHOLDER, and dated
September 3, 1867, will confer special
favor on the party addressed by favoring
him with u personal interview; which, II
desired. may be confidential.
Sept 90 1
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1867-09-20
Registration---Second Precinct.

Registrati0n---Sec0nd Precinct.
TTNHE BOOKS are now open at the Pal
Il metto Engine House forifinal Revision
Of Names Registered in Upper Box of this
city. They will | closed at3 o'clock p. m,
on SATURDAY, 21st inst.
The Board will be at the old Ice House,
on Washington street, on MONDAY, the
23d, and continue there the following
week, during which time the Books will be
open for public inspection.
On the 2Sth and 3Oth, the session for final
Revision of Names Registered in Lower
Box, will take place.
NJ. j. CALNAN,
Chairman Board Registration,
Sept 10 5 I'd Precinct, Richland Dist.
To All Who Use Liquor.-Wolfe's
Schiedam Schnapps is manufactured in
Holland by process only known to the
proprietor, and is warranted the purest
Liauo~ ever manufactured.
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1867-09-20

CHARLESTON, S. c.,
September 13, 1867.
General Orders No. 80.
Paragraph H., of General Orders
No. 81, dated May 80, 1867, is modi-
fed as follows !: .Ji
All citizens assessed for taxes, and
who shall have taxes for the current
year, and who are qualified, and have
been, or may be, duly registered as
voters, are hereby declared qualified
to serve as jurors. a.
1t shall be O. sufficient ground of.
challenge to the competency of any
person drawn as juror that he has
not been duly registered as q voter.
Such right of challenge may be eSere.
cised in behalf of the people, or of
the accused, in all criminal proceed
ings, and by either party in all civil
actions and proceedings. y
Any requirement of property
qualification for jurors, in addition
to the qualifications herein prescrib-
ed, is hereby abrogated.
The Governors of North and South
Carolina, respectively, are hereby
authorized and empowered to order.
if it should be necessary, special
terms of courts to be held for the,
purpose of revising and preparing
jury lists, and to provide for summon
ing and drawing jurors in accordance
with the requirements of this order.
By command of Bvt. Maj. General
ED. r. s. CANBY.
LOUIS V. CAZIhRC.
Aide-de- Camp, A. A. A. G.
Official: O. M. MITCHELL, Aide-de-
Camp.
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1867-09-20

SCUBA FACT Nor GENERALLY APPaE-
CIATEp.-When a merchant changes his
stand, ho is certain to sell goods very
cheap for long time. to have his GUS
toners follow him, and make his move
popular. Mr.. r. q. Shiver has moved his
largo new stock of Dry Goods to Main
street.
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1867-09-20
Essocaa Eteyns.

Messrs. ID. @, Peixotto & Son, adj
vertise. at auction, this morning. a
varied lot of articles-segars, tobac-
CO, COW peas, window pancs, soap,
pipes, etc. Drop in about 10 O'Clock,
as bargains will likely be obtained.
We are indebted to Messrs. Dufie
Il Chapman, for late New York
papers. .>4 -
TINE Is MONEY. "A large quantity
OF freight for Columbia, left .Balti-
more on Saturdays f&st, by the Sea
Gull, and arrived t'in this city on
Tuesday. This freight was shipped
to Columbia by, the South Carolina
Railroad, yesterday morning, and
was unloaded at Columbia before 6
P. M.
This, the Mercury asserts, is twelve
hours less time than is required by
the upper or Charlotte route.
--- --N>-~.o~>---.--->>-.--
REGISTRATION IN LEXINGTON DIS
TRIcr--SECeED PRECINCT. We are
indebted to DIR. s. r. Lewie, for the
following complete return of regis
tration in the Second Precinct, Lex
ington District: Sandy Run-whites
3S; colored Ia. Brokers whites
so; colored "a. Wise's-whites 80:
colored 20. Total whites 16s; color
ed 158. ,-.s.
FOURTH PREo1NcT.-Lewie's Store
whites 40; colored 81. Leesville-
whites 1OS; colored SO. N. Jones'
whites 93; colored H. Fulmer'sH
whites GO; colored 16, Rish's Store
whites IS; colored 48. Total-whites
4S7; colored 232.
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1867-09-20
Read Udolpho Wolfe's advertise
ments in to-day's paper.

ORDER CoNcERN1NG jurors. s.-Gen.
Cnnby has issued the following or
der, in relation to the qualifications
of Jurors
sHEADQ'Rs ID MILITARY DIST,
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1867-09-20

NEW ADVERTISEMENTS s.-Attention is call
ed to the following advertisements, which
are published this morning for the FIST
time:
r. MeDougall-Engine for Sale.
Q. IL. Baldwin & CO.-Fresh Groceries.
R.& W. C. Swaf1ield-Fall Goods.
D. G. Peixotto & Son-Auction To-Day.
Fisher & Lowrance-Tea, Nails, &c.
To "Close Observer" and "Stockholder."
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1867-09-20

We are indebted to Messrs. Dufie
d Chapman, for late New York
papers. .>s-r. ~-,'...y
The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1867-09-20

combined 600, 900 pounds.
The other evening, o lady, who
pretended to be asleep until her beau
had we'll kissed her, woke up as if in
the greatest amaZement, and said,
81 think you ought to be ashamed. "
A man is under arrest in Washing
ton for stealing a house. He took
the parts lit was frame dwelling)
to pieces, and carted them away to
set up in another part of the city.
A fellow, by the name of Gregan.
has been arrested in Bellefonte, Penn
sylvania, and bound over to answer
at Court for stealing tomb stones
from the cemetery.
"Mr. Jones, why do you wear that
bad hat?" Because, my dear sir.
Mrs. Jones VOWS she will not 20 out
of the house until L get new one"
If exercise promotes health, those
who collect old debts for editors
should he the longest-lived people on
earth.
"If," rs the poet says, beauty
draws us with but single hair, !"
then what-oh tell us what-must be
the effect of modern waterfall?
The Boston Post boasts TINT the
Democrats elected one Senator in
Vermont at the recent State election: !:
the first for more than ten years!
Fleslly persons may become lean
by eating slate pencils. It reduces
them to O. mere cipher.
There is. q colored boy at Hatfield,
Mass, only nine years old, who
weighs over 200 pounds.
A New jersey paper calls grape
growers ''grapists." Why not corn
lists, potatoists and squashists?
The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1867-05-31
A Funny Rlunder.

The celebrated Fat Contribute"
is responsible for the following, which
would make an excellent chapter in
''Pickwick Papers" The scene of
the adventure is located in town in
Tennessee: .-s@..a sett soea !.
"a funny incident occurred b here
last night. The Fat Contributor
delivered humorous. lecture here,
under the auspices of the Crocodile
Club, Ito which he has been elected
an honorary member, by the way,) for
the benefit of the suffering poor of
Knoxville. There being no hall here
adequate to hold the people who
desired to hear Hun ki-do-ri, : a
large church was secured for the pur-
pose.a A comic programme had been
prepared, to be circulated among the
audience, and one of the committee
gave them into the hands = of
Brown, steward of the Lamar
House, with directions to take
them to the church and p see, them
properly distributed. Brown made a
mistake in the church, and got into
one where a prayer meeting was to
be heidi He. found one couple who
had come rather early. and ,suppos-
ing that the person engaged to at
tend door was behind time, he con-
cluded to oficiate in that capacity
himself Going up to the man,
he said tickets, sir, if you please
THE man had none, of course,
and expressed his surprise that tick
cts should be required to attend
prayer meeting. Brown told him it
was to be lecture, and that he
could obtain tickets for it at Cham
berlain's drug store; so off he start
ed to procure them. Then another
devout person stepped in, and i'm
mediately getting upon his knees,
assumed devotional attitude Poor
Brown, as innocent as a child of
the dreadful blunder he had made,
went up to him, and shaking him
by the shoulder, said: Got ticket,
sir ? The man looked up Devil
dered, when Brown resumed Been
drinking, / reckon, and feel sick.
You mustn't vomit here, at least with
out ticket The horror of the de-
vout man can only be imagined.
Then Brown, hearing a number of
footsteps at the door, FASTENED there
and demanded the. tickets before en-
tering. Explanations. finally ensued,
and Brown retreated very preeipi-
lately and very much chagrined.
What the emotions of those prayerful
people were when they read the pro-
gramme which Brown bad carefully
laid across the backs iofthe seats, it
is impossible for me to say. The lee
turer drew very large audience for
the object aforementioned, nearly all
the seats in the house being sold at
one dollar each" ~ .ttr.-q,,ss7
The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1867-05-31
THE EVANSVILLE DAILY JOURNAL FRIDAY NAY 81 1861

fallen?" After a short pause, Arte-
mus looked up inquiringly, and said
meekly: " | give it up"
A swell, while being measured for
a pair of boots, observed, : Make
them cover the calf - Impossible ~
exclaimed the astonished boot-maker,
surveying his customer from head to
foot;s " l have not leather enough
A distinguished London surgeon
has lately taken. the lecture-room to
re-assure the ladies In relation to. the
. chignon fallacy.a He says the or
ganisms are neither entozno nor ep-
10, but only ectezano, which are COM
paratively harmless. m, - -
/ No use of my trying to collect
that bill, sir, said collector to his
employer, handing the dishonored
document to the latter. q Why?"
The man who should pay it is non
est" replied the collector. Then
take it and collect it, sir. A non est
man will not fail to meet his obliga-
tons.
aGeorge." asked minister of one
of his Pensioners little boys, "where
is your sister Minnie "Gone to
heaven, SIR" What! is she dead?"
f" Oh, no, no, sir; she went to buy a
box of Matches %" Why, you said
she'd gone to heaven" "WeH, you
said last Sunday that matches were
made in heaven, so [ thought she had
gone there s@ Eataam II
The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1867-05-31

Complete Revolution IN Roofngl
IS THE PLASTIC = SLATE'-For
The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1867-05-31
:" THE AGER. .

Once upon a morning bleary,
While / sat dreaming, dreary,
In the sunshine thinking DER
Things that passed IN days of yOre-
While nodded, nearly sleeping,
Gectly came something creeping
Up my back, like water seeping,
Seeping upwards from the floor
/" tbs cooling breeze, muttered,
" From the regions meath the floor
Only this, and nothing more"
All! distinctly remembe
It was in that wet September,
When earth and every member q sfen
OF creation that 1t bore, ., ..s,r.,
Had for weeks and weeks been soaking
InNthe meanest, most provoking
Foggy. rains. that, without joking, l.re
We had ever seen before
$50, / knew it must be very 40
Cold and damp beneath the floor.
So Iisat me, nearly nodding,
In the sunshine, stretching, gaping;
And a feeling quite delighted
With the breeze from meath the floor,
Still found me growing colder,
And the stretching waxing holder,
And my bones all feeling older
Older than I'd felt before;
Feeling that my joints were sitter
Than they were in days of yore-ear =
Sitter than they'd been before.
All along my back the creeping
Soon gave place to rushing, leaping,
As If countless frozen demons
Had concluded 10 explore :
All the cav1t1eS-the yarmintS-
NTwixt me and my neither garments;
Up into my hair and downward
Through my boots into the floor;
Then felt myself shaking,
Gently shaking more and more
Shiyering to the very core.
'Twast the Ager-how it shook me-
Jerked me awful and then took me
Shaking to the kitchen--ever-
Place where there was warmth in store,
Shaking till the s. china" ratified,
Shaking till my morals battled,
Shaking, and with ali my warming,
Feeling colder han before;-
Shaking Till 1t had exhausted
All its powers to shake me more
Till it could not jerk me more. Iea4a,.'
Then it rested till the morrow,
When it came with All ii horror, faI
That it had the face to borrow,
Shaking. shaking as before;
And from That day in September
Day which shall long remember g
1t has made me dismal visits,
Shaking shaking, oh so sore; i
Shaking off my boots, and shaking
Me to bed, or on the floor 5t
Fully this, and nothing more. -t
And to-day, the swallow fitting
Round my cottage, sees me sitting
MOodily within the sunshine, AaiTt
Just inside my silent door, +.
Waiting for the Ager seeming
Like man forever dreaming. -
And the sunlight on me streaming, v.t
Sheds no shadow on the floor Il,
For am too thin and shallow
To make shadows on the floor Ls aE
Nary shadow any more! 44f
The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1867-05-31
HUMOROUS.

The favorite air nowadays is a
million aire. I'll eu y
The worst organ grinder hollow
tooth that plays the deuce.
What is fashion? Dinner at mid
night and headache in the morning.
You can't keep fruit through the
Winter unless you can. -
Why does person who is sickly
lose much of his sense of touch? Be-
cause he don't feel well.
"How is your son to-day?" asked
friend of stock broker.
"Very i'll, y replied the old gentle
man, struggling to maintain compos-
ure, tears coursing down his agitated
features; very i'll, I wauld not give
ten per cent. for his chance of life"
An insurance agent, urging a citi-
zen to get his life insured, said: Get
your life insured for ten thousand
dollars. and then if you die next
week. the widders heart will sing for
joy"
Spurgeon often comes out with a
good thing. Brethren" said he.
if God had referred the ark to a
Committee on Naval Affairs, it's my
opinion it would not have been built
yet
9 Where are you going so fast, Mr..
Smith," demanded Mr.. Jones.
" Home, sir, home; don't detain
me. [ have just bought my wife
new bonnet, and [ must deliver it
before the fashion changes. a1
Look here, boy" said a nervous
gentleman to an urchin who was
candy at lecture, you
are annoying me very much.
!. No / amt neither said the ur-
chin; 8 I'm a-gnawing this ere
candy. v
"Sambo, canyon tell me in what
building people are most likely to
take cold?'
why, no; me strange in de town
and can't tell dat"
Well, I will tell you-it is de
How is dat?" 10 @
Because dare are so many drafts
in it. ''oa-'.e sHeNiii2
No." 4f a1'T
! Because so many go dare to raise
de wind" Yah, yah, yah. 2sea:a
: You would be pretty, indeed"
said gentleman patronizingly, to a
young lady, if your eyes were only
a little larger" Ny eyes may be
very small, sir, but such people as you
don't fill thens!'a e aaI
An Irishman had been sick for a |
long time, and while in this state
would occasionally cease breathing,
and life be apparently extinct for
some time, when he would again re-
vive. On one of these occasions,
when he had just awakened from his |
sleep, Patrick asked him
'Ah, how'll we know, Jenny,
when you're dead? You're after
wakin US livery time
Bring me glass of grog," he re-
piled, and say to me, Here's to We,
Jenny, an if l don't rise up and |
dhrink, then bury me"
The last effusion of the renowned A.
Ward-we have not yet seen in print. |
It is said that A. w. being at one of
the New York churches recently, edi-
fed the audience by his unexpected
reply to the preachers text, which
was as follows: How are the mighty |
The Daily empire. (Dayton, Ohio) 1865-1867, 1867-03-27
THE DAILY EMPIRE,
ALI SORTS OF ITEMS.

About $500 will be the coat Of n l,oonso
to keep a house OF pro stitution ia New
York under the new bill
Tilton says 'the Metz ,odtst church ia the
Christian song-bird Of the West"
The newsboys and '1ootblacks of Chicago
have organized a prs yer meeting,
A country paper In Massacbusett saws
that ''most of the Boston ministers drink
whisky and patror lie the Parker House"
A contested will, case In New uamnsbire
has been so long in court that the lhwyer's
bills have consul med the entire estate in
controversy,
"A Pennsylva MIA railroad conductor re-
covered dam ages from a woman who
kicked him 10 the mouth. She put ner foot
in it.
\ gain on's-third as large in Connecticut
as has been made by the Democracy of the
Granite st ate, would make Connecticut a
Democratic State.
BY the decision of Courts i'm England n
Hour dealer In Toronto is possessed of 81
oOO.OOO' together with interest accruing
thereon for seven years.
The Fenians are chased by British troops
uhrouRh the businesses of Ireland, and by
congressional demagOgues through the
swamps and fens of American notifies.
nv NNdlN VI ltIll.s tNllDlIpO a
queer display of cheek by attempting to
vote In Harrisburg, where he had been a
resident but two months, aud had not been
assessed or paid a tax.
1t is stated that In one hour the Hudson
Bank delaulter would be praying rervently
at the rooms of the Young Mems Christian
Association and the next tapping the bank
for money to satisfy his demands.
The Paris Patrie contains a most myste-
rious anecdote. Young married woman,
rich elegant, lovely, on the point of death.
to herhusband II must confess something,
You'll be astonished that l have proved u1-
faithful" To which the following reply 4:
Not more ast"nished than you will be to
hear that knew 1t, and for this reason
poisoned you"
a respectable publican. formerly coach
man, married a wife at Hastings, and an
other at London. Both wives had forgiyen
him, and begged he should not be punish
ed. Their relations interceded for him.
His former employer wrote a letter in his
favor; but the Judge said all this only ag-
gravated his %oflense, which was of a worse
character than rape, because he had fraud
ulently got possession of not only the per-
son but the affections of the women, and
he sentenced him to-a years hard labor
London Cor.