American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1867-09-25

ing pig
The man who is without an idea.
generally has the greatest idea of him.
self
--s --A man who marrics a frivolous firt
gives to airy nothing a local habitation
ana uam."
-FnicR says it is dreadful to bear of
a BABY only one moath old taking to the
Dgttic.
The NOON is SO old. that if il is
nude OF green cheese, it is unauestion q
bly, Inhabited icg
A small town is place where there
are many tongues to talk and but few
heads to think
Fame is like river-narrowest
where its birthplace is, and broadest afar
off f.gjss arfHf
The rhymer who wrote the line,
Dear to me is the surf>tossed beach,"
probably had in his mind the recollection
OF his bill at some sea eide hotel.
Why is a kiss like the creation of
the world 2 Because it is made of Moth
Ing, and is all very good.
Wit sometimes becomes practical
the Greek sage in company of very bad
mchers who were trying their skill, plac
ed himself close TO the targe., saying, att
Is the only safe spot"
Fame is en- undertaken tha. psvy
but little attcnti>n to the living, but bed
iEens the dead, furnishes out their fuuer-
ais, and follows them to the grave.
Whom we read the almost intermiua-
bly, sentences of some writers, we caunot
help thinking that their readers are iu
danger of being sentenced to death.
"A correspondent writes to ask if the
brow of hill ever becomes wrinkled 2
The only information we can give him
on that poiat is, that we have often seen
it fGrrowed.
AN honest dame in the town of
Rome, standing beside the corpse of her
deceased husband, bewailng in piteous
tones his untimely departure, observed
Its pity he's dead, for his teeth are
as good as they ever we're"
-"Well, farmer, you told us your
place was a good place for hunting now
we have tramped it for three hours, and
found no game
Just Sc" said the farmer, "as gen.
ersl thing the less game there is the moro
hunting you have "
Il say Sambo, can you answer this
conunderiiuml SUPP osin' [ glib YOU
bottle Of Whiskey cprked shut with
cork how would you get the whiskey
dut widoaf pulhn' d. cork or breaking
de bottle 81 gibs dat up" "Why puk
de cox in Yah, hah p
A Scotchman put crown piece in>
to the plate" in an Ednburg church
On lac Sunday morning instead Of 4
penny, aad asked to have 1t back, but
was refused. In once, in forever"
'Aweel" grunted he, ''l'll get credit for
it in heaven. ."-"Na, ina" said tho door.
keepri yell get credit dniy for the PEN
ny yon meant to gi'"
"A School Boy being asked to deGas
the word "admissiou," said it meant
twenty-five cents. Twenty five centg?"
echoed the sch,olmaster, ''what sort Of a
definition do you call that 2" III don't
know" sn.k Iy replied the boy, "but I'm
sure it slys on the advertisement down
there at the show" eyes" said another
boy, sand children half price"
"A Minister who had been reprovine
one Of his elders for over Indulgence lb.
served n cow~go down to stream tako
drink, and then turn away There"
said he to an offending elder, sis an exS
ample for you; the COW has ouenched
its thirst, and has retired" "Yes," re-
piled the elder, "that is very true. But
suppose another COW had come 10 the
other side of the stream, aud had said,
Here's to you,' there's no saying how
long they might have gone on"
An Irish priest wishing to explain
the nature of miracle to skeptical
parishioner gave the wretch tremen-
dous kick. 39 rs
"Dit it hurt yo 2" asked the revcl end
father
Hurt exclaimed the victim, ten
derly solacing the aggrioved region with
his hand" "Well, them" said the
clergyman complacently, sit would have
been mlracle.if il hadn't hurt ye"
-'Uncle Enoch, what made the cats
gc.owe 80 one nigh tast week !? couldn't
sleep, | was afraid"
"Aheml All Yes. The meat the
butcher, sent us yesterday, you know,
was to bad we couldn't eat it. SO we threw
it to tho cats and dogs, and I
'spoct it gave the cats cholera"
"Woll, why didntit give the dogs the
choeia TOO Z"
"True, but don't you remember ths
dogs wouldn't eat it"
-Dr.--was called upon one day to
visit young man not far from this city
who had been in 'plug muss" and from
all indications was likely to have black
eye as a consequences An inquisitive
individual had learned there was so;ne>
thing wrong about the young mans optic.
and stlppng the doctor on his return,
luqu re- what the trouble was. The
learned man Informed him that he
.sfound the patient suffering from se~