The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1867-09-19
TIPToN,, IOWA. SEPTEMBER 1s, 1867.

people, who would have degraded him |,
eight years ago. AS an Instance of Gree
ly's popularity, there are not less than
halfa q dozen babies in.Alabama, of seccs-
sion women named "Horace Greely,n
and in the next twelve months they,
probably, will be counted by hundreds.
n't Strange Erect " the Waters.
The following strange effects of the
waters of Saratoga Springs, a fayorite
resort for all snobbish people, is given
by correspondent of the Chicago 7rib-
,Oac:: .-. s~.z .t4,4t....t 1902
!, "Some attribute the vicious habit to
the waters, which are thought to have
moral as we'll as medicinal influence. r
have known Congress water to affect it's
drinkers very unfavorably, but do not
think it can convert shrewd merchants
aud bankers into blacklegs. That il
~ 7s5ag-ss... .'>.tonss ssi,,wevcr. tho
springs often work revolutioiis, e... ...@ =.
never quite safe, / judge. 4-a.1
VI "There is Mrs. Simpson, who was cx-.
emplary but rather delicate when she
came here. in July, and was brought by
her husband to swallow twenty glasses
day, She did SO, and improved under
them, Mr.. Simpson thought, until he
discovered her sitting in their private
parlor in Mr.. Thompson's lap, with her
arms about his neck. Simpson raised
tumult, very naturally, and denounced
Thompson, and threatened separation.
But Mrs. Simpson declared it was the
Congress Spring; that it had affected
many Of her feminine friends i'm the
same way, and that she ought not to bc
held responsible for chemical consequcn-
ces. Simpson was convinced ut last;
begged his wife's pardon, and apologized
to Thompson; though he still says he
can't sec how it is exactly, and believes
the deuced spring had better dry up il
it's going to act so.' TT
: "You remember what an abstemious
and highly moral man Babcock is in
Chicago. He is member Of oil the be-
'nevolent societies; belongs to three
churches, / understand, and is a promi-
nent officer of base ball club. Every
one knows Babcock. He is, strictly
speaking, virtuous citizen and the own
er of grain elevator. Well, even he
drank SO much water from several differ
ent springs that he went to his wife the
other night with his hat mashed over
his eyes; got into bed with his boots Oh,
and kissed her--something she declares
he has not done before for ten years.
WHAT'S the matter with you, Mr. Bah
cock" queries his Spouse rising in sur
prise and indignation. Am 1 to be
troat aa -, ~
We pay two hundred dollars a week.
Why, Mr.. Babcock, what do you take
me foro' #~&
Take-you for Slowly and with
thick tongue)-take you for? Why, my
dear-I took -you-for-somebo else
"s'Mr. Babcock, your clothes are disar-
ranged. You've got your vest on wrong
side before, and your watch is in your
boot. And, as l live, here's a lady's
lOcket ABOUT your neck
Is thcre-nly dear--is theree All
right-lock it--lock it. Then-tlhen it
won't--won't hurt anybody. You see
my dear-then it won't-get- out
you know
"'Mr. Babcock, you've been drink
ing
."I know-know--it. I've-been-
been drink-drinking the waters
"'With great deal of brandy. lean
smell your breath, Mr. Babcock.
'Very-very well, my-my dear
Smell-smell away. IL don't care
d-n.' (And here Mr.. Babcock snored,
and rolled off the bed without waking
up.l
Mrs. Babcock tried to arouse him but
did not succeed until nearly daylight.
Then he repeated the statement that it
was the waters, and when asked to ex-
plain about the locket, said the lady
must have dropped it into the spring;
that he had dipped it up and spilled it
into, his bosom.
Mrs. Babcock did not ask any more
questions; and | suppose she was salts
tied'
Spare Moments.
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~ II n i<,f Ia