The Greene County Republican. [volume] (Waynesburg, Pa.) 185?-1867, 1867-05-22
WHISKY AND WATER.
CINcNNATI ON BFNDER-GENERAL DEMoRl
lZATlOS

Deer creek flows into the Ohio at Gin
cinrati. On Deer creek have been loca'
ted whisky distillerlcs. A fire in these
distilleries the other morning sent large
quantities of whisky into Deer creek, by
which it was carried to that point in the
Belle Riuiere where the corporation
pumps make their drafts of fluid Tor tie
clty's use, Not being able 10 distinguish
it so, not able to separate-the liquid
of the Ohio from the liquid of Deer
creek, and being compelled to furnish
something for Cincinnatians to drink,
the purpose aforesaid received the bever-
age thus prepared, and distributed the
same to their regular customers. The
consequences Of this singular turn of
events are thus described by the Gin
clnnati Times:
"The decentralization which has resulted
TO this community from the mingling Of
that Deer creek whisky with the hydrant
water is almost beyond calculation. 1t
was not known for some time why a
boozy atmosphere seemed to hedge us all
about, Men who never drank liquor in
their lives, knowingly, went home for
several days in succession so bloated that
they were hardly to be recognized, al
though they assured their weeping wives
as they helped them of to bed-'hain't
touched (hiD drop to-day, ma'am-
hopc'r def have Then waking up in
the morning with throbbing temples and
bewildercd brain they tried in VAIN to
recall any occasion during the previous
day when they bad wandered away from
the established principles Of a lifetime
and taken to the bowl--'what drugs,
what charms, what conjurallons, and
what almighty magic had got them on
a bust
One agel and highly respectable citi,
zen, who never tasted liquor IN his life
and consequently could belong to tens
perance society with impunitv, was seen
winding his way honeward the other
day, with hls ha' jamned down on the
back of his head, and his face redolent
ndjolly, while he was singing;
Lan'ord filr flowinsbowl,
Foo balls, foo (hic) balls, .
Old Uncle Johnny's marchin' home
His wife didn't know him at first, as
he entered the house, his countenance
was so changed and then the ends of
that white cravat, which she always tied
herself every morning with so much
care, were flying in the most outlandlsh
manner about his lett ear and that hat !
she had never seen such sight in all
her born or married days!
'Ile pulled it off, swung it wildly
around his head with a 'whoopee y and
then SHE'D it with scientific exactness
upon the bust of Douglas, giving a hor>
rible grotes9ue leer to that late disiin-
gushed statesman as it dropped over his
lett eve. He offered to bet two dollars
and half that 'ho knew who he was,
and could whip any man that wasn't;
then looking round upon his weeping
family with a slight CLEAN of returning
he yelled o, I'm a wreck = and |
bursting into tears, besought the Oldest
girl to bring in a gutter for him to wal.
ow' in. He felt that he must walow,-
IIe was lugged up stairs to bed, insanely
cutters for onel
1T unfortunately came out In the pa.
pers the next day Gt would have appear
I'd before, but the editors, who it Is
known lmbibe extravagant quantities OF
water, were incapacitated for work
that great quantities OF
whisky had become mingled with by.
lrant water. 1t had hoated down Deer
creek from burning diStil!ery to the
river, where the city has the most com,
plete and effective arrangements possible
tor stopping anything OF damnable
order that finds its way down the creek,
and pumping il into the reservoir.
The excellent old gentleman above
alluded to had determined to put an end
to his worthless existence when he came
to full realization of what he had done;
but, looking over morning paper TO
see if it was going to be a very good
day for suicides, any how. he read about
the Deer creek whisky. That explained
the whole business at once, and gave
him renewal OF life lie danced wildly
about the room, embraced his family
with ecstatic joy, and invited them to
JOIN him in glass Of water alt round
Since it has become generally known
that there is whisky in the hydrant
water, there has been a wonderful in.
crease in water drinking. People drink
1t now who haven't tasted 1t before in
years, They get up in the night to