Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1867-12-07

teri Why. be made >Josoph ruler, Ill
WY do birdie m ,hsir liAle o. d seree
Bccauss they'd fall out III they didnA NJ
VIVA. roof covers to MON noisy aenanil
The roof Of the mouth. III M
Why i, = monse fits . load of hay7 Be-
cause the cstil eat il.
They Lave got pee, in Philadelphia with
the Gsecian name Of Lynus c Doye Linz
seed oil is classic indeed.
"Miss,' said fop to young lady "whss
. pity you wasn't . mirror" why "a 2"
said the bushing lady. Because you would
be such u good looking lass"
At concert recently, a. the conclusion
q con:ry farmer got up and exclaimed
you:'
"Sohp did Mrs Cree get The medicine
otdered7' Il guess SO. replied john. ''ior
| saw Grape % the door mex, morning.
The story Of a lazy schoo. boy who spelled
Andrew Jockson, i III Jaxn, has been over
shsdowed by a genius cut West, who wished
10 mark halt d. Zen ne " shirts. H. mark
ed the John Jones. and the res, ditto.
Frank Hayman vas drol dog Whom
he bur'cd his wife, q friend ASKED bin why
| he exp nUe much on her tuhoral.
| 'Oh. sir, replied lie, "she would have
Done as mu !! Oh more for me-, with p!easare.'
| Mark Twain, lec.uriny on the Sandwich
islands, offered 10 sho~ how the cannibals
| eat their food, If SOM lady would hand him
baby. tie le,turs was not illustrated.
FTLe Columbus (Ca. Sun speaks Of a white
Massachusetts school msrm: whr!ed around
in the giijy mazes OF the vv!uptuous wal,a
closely embraced by the asms Of co ored
ciHzcu. Why ao., If -ho like il?
A Milwaukee young lady had her "csp
set" for rather large 'fatler,' but failed to
wis him, when conid"n, tried 70 comfort
her with the word Never mind Noble,
there is .s 20 Il Ish in The sea as ever wa
caught. "Mo!lie knows that replied he.
Lite brother, bat she wants g whale
INA, said little girl to her mother "do
the meu want to get married as much 40 the
wonon dr. "Pshaw! what are you talk
ing sbou: getting marred-the men don't.
=. When Ar:emus Ward lay on bis death
bed ut Southampton, lie tuned TO u friend
al bis bed side, atd murn-rcI:
'What have ! done that | should die SC
! young never was guilty OF n burglary, Or
ever CO United the minor ufehcs Of killing
v-b-.sA~s "a even newspaper man..
"W;ii u open the s2.yi,es?' Inquired
deacon Of brother WHO, wLo was a.
cys'ermau BY profession.
NO, thnnk von," said he, half waking
from dcze: 81 We LET. ny knite Il, honey
| Horace Greoir.. in bis "Recollec.ons,
! ob3.v"s that be studisd ora,ory ~hen be
had tue measles and sha Bos,on Post re-
marks t'at 1T is enough to give one the
, measles 10 hear hin practice in now
: 10 there any person you would partie,-
larry wish me to marry 2 said Il widow ex
p-ctant to her dying sp ,use, who lad besn
somewha: Of a syrAn, in bis day. Marry
the devil, if you like, was the CRU e reply.
| : Oh, no. my dsar yoa knoS it IL net lawful
to na.1Eg two bsstaers.3 E.>,:~. .. d. aa.a
| A chaplain was once prea ching TO ella 3
| Of co!legians about the Formation Of ba,i
habits. ""GeIiIcme H. be said, CLOSE youl
ears ~ ainst bad discourses.' The sehuls,+
Immediately claIp d their hands 10 their
ears, and the chep,ain lnossi rather amazed
at 50 praftical > demons.rAtioa...
"Oh, pa, Mr.. Saith was hire Tits Morn.
ing and when ma told hiu, thu, YOU would
not be home till late, be said her lip. were
like hone:, and he wished hs was oee M
| then be kissed ber. They gave me q sti. K
q candy not TO tell any one, but / dout
think they Y mind you, you r. SO we'll &C.
| euaia,sd viii me- a.. .a...1 j. 2. p, q
Now gals said Mrs. Partlng.on, The
| A. 49, hn-
husbs nd. US soon as possible or they il BE-
murdered" :., q
why so, Anat?'
,"Why, see by the papers that we've got
almost fifteen thousand post Offices; and
nearly all orem dspatch dispatches q mail
every day. The Lord have mercy on US
poor widows, and the cid lady stepped to
the looking glass to adjust her new cap.