The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1867-08-15
Dead Broke.
BY TIE FAT CONTRIBUTOR. !"

BY TEE FAT CONTRIBUTOR -
We found may seated on curbstone
near the Postofice. last night, mutter;ne
to himself appar emily, as there was no
one else to mutter to. We felt constrain-.
ed to ask him what he was doing there?
'Hain't dom nothin," was the reply.
Where do you belong Pr
Don't % long nowhere, and nowhere
don t b long to me. =
Who are your
Il m Broke -
We'll, suppose you are broke, you
have got a name, havn't you? What is
it?"
Il tell We I'm broke-Dead Broke
that's my name. and that's my natur
My father was broke before me. If he
had Mt been wouldn't be broke now
at least, not so bad My mother was
Peasley, but she wanted husband, and
she gotBroke-that' my dad-and Broke
got me. I've been broken ever since
For few moments the unhappy D.
Broke buried his face in his hands, and
seemed lost in the most doleful reflections
Then raising his head, he exclaimed bit
terly: :.
Il wish | had been born colt.
Because colt amt broke until he is
two or three years old. | was Broke the
moment [ saw the light, and [ never got
over it. 1t is hard to be broke so young
How did your parents come to call
you dead Broke? p
'Well you see, as soon as was born
something seemed to tell me that [ had
got to be Broke all my life unless could
get my name changed by act of Legisla
tnro nd tfof x,o,, would H.. ~, ;,,,-
possibility. "
How an impossibility ?"
Are you such blockhead as to sup
pose that a man can get anything through
1 the Legislature when he is Broke ?'
s'You are right. Go on
"W hen the conviction forced itself up
on my infant brain, confused as it was by
recent experience. that [ must be Broke
all my life, | felt that there was nothing
left to live for, and iost all consciousness
at once. | have found only part of it
since ~
He is dead, [" cried my mother wiring
ing her hands. y f1
Yes" groaned my father, 'sdead
Broke" o9t g
revived, alas but Dead Broke be-
| came my name and [ have been dead
broke ever since @
My name has been fatal to me all
through life. The smallest boy in school
always broke me in playing marbles. |
broke more windows than any other bow
playing base ball. always broke down
at recitations, and had my head broke
every day by the schoolmaster. When
left school ! went to clerk it for broker
One day there was heavy deficit in the
T l. IL = l.
that had something to do with it-so |
-, | broke. They caught me though,
and put me in jail; but | broke out. -
''Out of iail?''
No. d-n it, broke out Nth TIE small
poe Z"
what did you do next %
After the court had disposed of my
case, | was allowed to go into the broker
age business again.
How was that 2"
Il broke stone in the Penitentiary, dog
on it. After | got out [ broke everything
broke my promise, broke the Sabbath,
and broke the pledge"
w as you ever married ?"
Yes, tsighing deeply )matrimony broke
me up worse than anything else. My
wife was regular ripper She broke up
my furniture and the dishes, nearly broke
lny back with a'hat iron, and finally broke
my heart
BY running away?''
mo indeed. by sticking to me-
You have had hard time of it. -
All owing to my name. But bad as
dislike 1t, it S mine; | came by it hon
estly. You woulnt think anybody else
would want to be in my place, would ye?
but the e are thousands of imposters all
over the country trying to pass them
selves off for me-
In what way?"
tWhen they tell their creditors that
they are dead Broke.
There was another pause during which
the unhappy possessor of an unfortunate
name could be heard to sob. At length
he broke out
1t will be simple and fitting inscrip-
ton for my tombstone, though.
wv What ?'
DEAD BROKE"