Ashtabula weekly telegraph. [volume] (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1853-1873, 1867-12-28
People and I.

Said I to my wife: "AIy dear, 1 do not
see why we should not stay where we are.
We have lived in this house twenty
years; our children were born here !;
some have died heie. like the house
we like the house. 1t is convenient-it
is get-at-able.. Why should we go ?"
"My DEAR" urged my wife, at is so far
down town; and the milliners and den
fists are crowding into the street now !;
and besides, what would people say p
We should lose our place in society,"
After this conversation, with varia-
tions, had taken place at least once a
week for year, seeing my wife in such
great dread of what people might say, 1
began to think that very likely she was
right, and moved up town. bought
tall, slim, brown stone house, in a dis
tinguished neighborhood, and felt that
whatever people might say after that
they certainly could say nothing about
me. Mistaken man! had only placed
myself, it seems, more conveniently to be
observed, as l found on proposing to re-
tam some Of our old furniture.
My wife nearly fell into Mysteries.
care you crazy, Mr. Smith ? Hair
cloth furniture and tlree-ply carpets
here? What would people say? We
had better have stayed where We were
There such things at least were not un-
heard OF. Here, who do You suppose
would enter the house second time 2"
1t is no use to humor a woman half
way, gave in my wife had what furni-
ture she liked and | supposed that '.Peo-
pIe'' were satisfied. Please to imagiue
my horror when discovered that ''Peo-
pie" were after me again. 'People" were
astonished that attended ali old-fashion-
ed church, made up of plain people
'People" were getting ready to say some
thing, (according to my wife, unless I
hired pew at once in the fashionable
church near by l was disposed to make
a stand, for l loved the old church. re-
spected the honest members, and the pas
tor was my warm friend. But my wife
had been obliged to tell six distinct fibs
to hide the facts about our church going,
and my daughters on various occasions
had suffered agonies of modification
| What man, who is not brute and n
ghoul, would allow his wife to f5, and
his daughters to suffer agonies, if he could
help it? | hired the desired pew, and
peoples" mouth was stopped.
''Stoppcd No it wasn't! "People"
followed me sharp, and were on the verge
of discovering that my wife and daugh-
ters assisted III the domestic work OF the
house. If"People" made the discovery
fairly, nothing less would happen than
that my daughters prospects in life
would be blasted That was not to be
thought of, and we added two ladies of
the Irish persuasion to our force.
Would you believe 1t, that l could not
have done anything worse for myself?-
Before, People" had been at the necessi-
ty Of guessing about ME and my affairs /;
but l learned now from my wife that
these Irish ladies are spies for the "I'eo-
ple"-who are always about to say some
thing, and if anything was vulgar or
poor III my house, ''people" would now
be informed OF it, by one of the ladies
aforesaid, at first hand. Nothing remain
cd now but to bring my house and style
of living, if my means would allow, up
to the standard of the two Irish ladies,
who l found were very severe and very
lofty in their notions.
| began to grow very anxious, and my
wife said, mean. Recent losses made by
heavy expenses difficult to meet but
when l mentioned economy, "People"
sternly and disdainfully refused to hear a
word of the subject, and | was rather
weaker i'll the knees and less able to hold
my own, because of dreadful incident
that occurred about this time.
As Twas walking down the street, who
should | meet but Peter Parker, an old
neighbor, and one Of the best fellows
living.
"tliIlo ~ says Peter,"I guess you have
forgotten old friends. My wife says she
hasn't set eyes on you since You moved" :"
''Not a bit of it, said |. ''But we
have been so busy. Mrs. Smith will be
delighted to see you. Come home and
dine with me to-day and see what you
think of my new house"
Peter did not need much urging
Why should he? We had always lived
in each others house. And forgetting
all about "People'' | walked home jolly
enough, with my arm tucked into Peters,
and marched him straight into the parlor
to surprise Mrs. Smith.
Mrs Smith had company. Mrs. Smith
was dressed in mauve silk, and the girls
in all the colors Of the rainbow. Mrs.
Smith turned white and red she looked
reproachfulfy at me and furiously at
Peter, who, worthy man, saw nothing of
it, but burst out i'll great laugh and
shook her hands, and shook them over
again, and w3pfdn't let go of them.
81 Declare" said Peter. ''you lave
crowd young and handsome. Fine
feathers does make fine birds-don't it
Smith? I should say she was twenty
years younger now"
"Thank you," said Mrs. Smith, stiffly.
And drawing herself up with dignity,
said aside to fae; How could you do
such thing? Clara and Herbert Eglan-
tine are here to dinner"
1t was all very fine 70 say-"How
could you do such thing? ?" but the
thing was done. Peter was delighted
with my house, with the girls, with
everything he saw. 1t was of no use for
Clara and Herbert at each Of his sallies
to put up their eyeglasses and look at
him Peter couId not take hint. and