The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1867-07-20
How a Young Man Goes to Bed

Few of our readers but have read how a
beautiful and accomplished young lady
retires to pleasant dreams" We copy from
the Indianapolis Herald the following pen
picture" representing the other side Of the
question:
a few days ago we published an extract
from a story in the -" Lane we Love, written
by Miss Fannie Downing 1t was entitled,
How young lady goes to bed" and al
though not an entire stranger to a lady s
boudOir we cannot assure the less enlightened
of our sex of the fidelity or truthlulness of
Miss Fannie's sketch. Doubtless it afforded
great qualification to the majority Of male
readers it did to US, we know, and as a
slight return we intend to disclose to her
sex the manner in which young man goes
to bed and shall cite Of an example one of
our own acquaintances. For convenience
we adopt the same style in which the other
Is written, and use the past tense
Dismissing his fuddled companion of the
evening, at the street door, Master George
performed the task of ascending the two
flights of stairs leading to his own room, as
noiselessly as the weakness of his knees
would admit, and without other assistance
than that of his own unsteady fingers grasp
ing along the walls. Upon reaching the
room the coat was removed and flung at the
back of the nearest chair; the vest was han
died more carefully, as the pocket contained
his watch, but the pantaloons came off with
a jerk.
After filling and lighting his pipe he pro
ceeded with the preiiminaries. Some recent
purchases were taken from a coat pocket
and part placed upon the mantle and the
balance slowed away in a trunk to be used
as circumstances might require. With
much tugging growing and swearing the
boots We're removed, and the last one being
usually troublesome received a impetus from
the foot that sentit flying to the furthcrmost
corner Removing then pair Of socks
Chat should have been In the washwoman' s
tub) an earnest and protracted inspection Of
the feet ensued the young man indulging in
speculatOns as to whether or no those
blasted corns would prevent his appearing
in /" them new boots at that {" little gather
ering" tomorrow night The delicate paper
collar (size immaterial) was hastily torn off,
and being sOiled on both sides from turning
was disdainfully tossed toward the fireplace
and the neck-tie flung on the foot Of the bed
The usual slow progress Of removing the
! shirt was ignored on this occasion several
| impatient Jerks, and then with sudden
| stretch upward with the bony arms, off went
! buttons up went muslin, and the angular
{
/ freedom" The snowy" night shirt was
then drawn over the head and its delicate
cotton tape binding and graceful folds
Of brown canton flannel left to accommodate
| themselves 70 circumstances. "a puff oil
/ fragrant breath redolent Of bad gin and
/ lemon from a pair of tobacco stained lips
and cut went the light, and down went the
! pipe on the table, Not being so fortunate
as to have any " Mandy" for a room mate
and the household domestics being aged
and discrete, he did not leave the door un
! bolted, but with q growl at the bacheloril
solieitude of his couch, jerked down tho
kiyer, plunged within, pressed his limo
cent head on the pillow, and after severa
moments of twitching and turning anC
grumbling settled on his back and fierce
attack of snoring ensued, which closes the
scene
Imagine such domestic existence as this
linked to the ethereal. -dainted and refined
" Miss Preston Enjoy your little maiden
ly privileges and arrangements while yol
can, Miss Charlie" for we fear that a va
riety of circumstances in welded life woulC
ruthlessly interfere with the systemati
course ascribed you in preparing for a night
rest.