The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1867-08-15
What Little Boy Thought About Things.

am little boy about so many years
DID, don't know whether I'm good little
boy, but Pm afraid not, for l sometimes do
wicked things and once | cut sisters kit
tens tail off with the chopin kuife, and
told her big dog came along and bit it off
and swallowed it down before poor kitty
could say Jack Robinson, and sister said
she was sorry, and it must have been avery
naughty dog; but my mother didn't believe
me, and said she was afraid / had told a lie,
and rm afraid | had; SO then she asked me
if l knew where liars went to; and | said
yes; that they went to New York and wrote
for the newspapers; she said no-they went
to the bad place where was nothin' but a
lake of fire and brimstun', and she asked
me if would like to go there, and / said
no! didn't think there'd be much skatin' and
slidin on that lake, aud the boys could not
SNOWFALL each other on shore, and she said
it was more than that; just as though that
wasn't bad enough, for don't think they
can play base ball nuther; then she asked
me if wouldn't like to be an nangel and
have harp, and said no! I'd rather be a
stage driver and have big drum, for
couldn't play on t'other thing. No shouldn't
like to be an nangel, for their wings must
be in the way when they go in swimin and
play tag and leap frog and besides it must
be hard to fly, when one amt used to it.
But it must be jolly to be stage driver anc
have long whip and touch up the leaders,
and say glang there, what are ye dom on
| should like that much better'n hyin: anc
then mother said there was a dreadful stage
Of sin, and brother Bob hollered and said he
guessed | was on it, and then she whipped
us and sent us to bed without any supper,
but | didn't care about auy supper, for they
hadn't nothin' but bread and butter for tea,
and Bob and got up and he lifted me in al
she pantry window, and we got mince pie
and whole hat full of doughnuts and they
thought it was the cook that stole 'em, anC
sent her away the next day, and Bob said
he was glad of it for she didn't make gooC
pies, aud the doughnuts wasn't fried enough
and sometimes do swear, for said by-gol
ly, the other day, and sister heard me, ant
she told mother, and mother said | was
bad boy and would bring her gray hairs t,
the grave, and she whipped me; but l dom
think it done her gray hairs any good, ant
it hurt me, and when got up stairs | sal,
goi darn it, but said it 80 she didn't hea
me, and when she asked me if did ut thinl
was very wicked, said l was afraid
was, and was sorry for it, and wouldn't
so no more, and then she said I was goo
little boy, and told me about George Wash
lngton who cut down the apple tree, an
was caught at it; and said he did it with hi
little Ratchet, just as though l hadn't hear,
all about it before, aud didn't always thin
ne was big stupid for cuttin' wood whe
they had hired man about the house, an
dullln' his little Ratchet, and besides
would have been a great deal iolier to lie
the tree be, 50 he could have stole apples Of
III the tai, l don't care If he was the Fathe
OF his Country he wasn't smart, and I'll be
you the boys in our school would cheat hir
out Of his eye-teeth swoppin, Jack knives
: and ! could lick him and not hardly try
and ! don't think he was very healthy e
ther, for / never saw good little boy tina
wasn't always sick and had the mumps an
measles, and the scarlet fever, and wasn't
coughln' all the while, and hadn't to TAX
castor oil, and tar water, and couldn't ca
cherries, and didn't have to have his hea
patted till all the hair was rubbed off b
everybody that came to his mothers, and /
f asked how old he was, and who died to say
sinners, and what he had been studying
school, and how far he'd got, and lots
f other conundrums; and have to say his ca
echism. 10 l should not like to be a goo
little boy, I'd just as lief be an nangel an