The tri-weekly standard. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1866-1868, 1867-10-31
HOW 4 COLLEGE GRADUATE WROTE AN EDI-
--t TORIAL.

Some years a go a very young col
lege gosling of the Creamcheese family
entered one of the business newspaper
offices in New York, and asked for the
editor. That parsonage came forward
and asked what might be his business.
at. The young man, putting down half
a dozen Greek ard Latin lexicons, &c, ;
which he had under his arm, replied that
he had made up his mind to be an edi-
tor, and was an applicant for some en-
ployment. -.... -...E
Editor-"Have you ever been en-
ployed in any newspaper office bcfore?''
Creamcheese-"O, dear no; [ have
been in Harvard College, sir, these four
years past, aud graduated about three
months ago, since which time have
been acting as private secretary to Hon.
Edward Everett"
Confident of having made an impress
sion, the visitor sat down with the pc
culiar air of selfsatisfaction which only
your peregrinating Yankee knows how
Editor-s'Well, Mr.. --, we are
in want of some help just now, and if
you are inclined to go to work at once,
there are pens and paper on the desk
there. Let us see what you can do"
Creamcheese-(S (Seizing the pen Cup
on what subject, sir, would you prefer
me to write theology, chemistry, me-
taphysics, the philosophy Of history, OF
anything of that sort % ...
Editor-"Never mind the astrology,
the chemistry, or the metaphysics. Give
us an item on the weather"
TIt had been a storm the night be-
fore, but at the time this dialogue was
going on everything was lovely.
The Harvard graduate thereupon sat
down, and after cudgeling his poor
brain for mortal hour, and referring
to his dictionary half a dozen times or
more, produced the following para
graph: >'.'- -.r
con yesternight, toward the midnight
hour, it being as dark as Erebus, the
god Pluvius was pleased to visit this
mundane sphere in spasm of ungov-
ernable wrath. The aqueous elements
thereupon experienced fierce pertur-
baton, and for protracted space the
rains fell and the floods descended in a
mode that was absolutely appalling to
gods and man. Anon, the fury Of Jupi-
ter was spent, good Aquarious put up
his watering pots, the dark clouds dis
persed, and instead of Old Boreas do
mineering the heavens, Aurora, daugh-
ter of the dawn, came tripping forth,
hand in hand, with Old Sol, making the
heart of mortals glad, and lighting up
the face of n ature with an avalanche of |
smiles" .-..
The editor took the item, read it.
then advised the Harvard graduate that
if heihtended to earn his bread by max /
ing newspapers he had better 90 to I
work and get rid of his collegiate edu-
cution, and in its place obtain little
comon sense. An ernetic, to get rid of
the big words and the classical non
sense, would be a good beginning, if
accompanied by an honest effort to OBJ
tain the faculty of expressing plain
ideas in plain English. 1g,s5e .H- e.a .-,.
Our Harvard hero looked unutterable
things, and with scornful expression
of disgust at the lack Of genius betray-
ed by the editor, replaced his Greek
and Latin lexicons and beat a retreat
from the EDITORS sanctum.-He hain't
been seen since, and the most rational
is that the big words and
the classics were the death of him.
o - Ill /
A man in Massachusetts sends italian
queen bees by mail various parts of the
country. In sending them he uses small ..
cylinder of wire cloth, about as large and as
long as a mans finger, in each end of which q
he places stopple which has a large hole in
IT and in fha hnlo In rloaoc nIaops nf snOnOP
filled with honey. They find a ready market
at from So to $5 each. 1l,.s..a r., r.. ss.; ... II
Oxford and Cambridge are trying to intro +
duce natural science and push out some of {
the superabundance of Greek and Latin in d
their curriculum Harvard college already a
has made the dead 10 !, -, a.os tha