Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1867-10-04
Wise s. Otherwise.

AND And h bright ! the Se.1 sunshine , @ ~ to day day
Ahundred years TO come.
Things Wise 81 CtIlcrvyisc.
The good old times, hundred years
ago, i'm New Hampshire, the bill for
'raiseingpa meeting house included
the item Of Sl27.50 for rum.
Sam, are you one Of the Southern
Southern shovelry shobeled dirt at
de Dutch Gap Cannal!p
An Ohio paper thus puts the case In
noticing Democratic claims of gains:
Bobby" said boy to his companion,
.you got a pretty hard licking yester-
day. Oh, no. said Bob, mot near as
bad as the one l got the day before"
Somebody writes the following bur-
ial order for A. j.:
Lower him carefully,
lower lower him praysrfuiiyI,. ,
Where mortal hath never been before.
Soft soap for all: for a Lieutenant,
call him Captain for q middle aged
lady, kis her and say that you mistoohr
her for her daughter for q youth ris-
ing sixteen, ask his opinion concerning
the qualitier Of a razor; for young k-
d.ss, IL you know their color Is natural,
accuse them of painting. e
During the war lady passing from
cot to cot through the wards OF
hospital, was shocked to hear one
fellow laugh at her. She stopped to re-
prove tho wretched patient:
"Why, ma'am said he, "you have
given me tract on the sin of dancing,
when ! have got both legs shot off,
Nothing could be better than the
speech of Mobile barber, when u
number of ex-rebels lately offered him
s., 900 to run for Congress "Gentle-
men, III sell my self, sell my people;
if sell my people / sell my children.''
liz anything half as good was said at
Antietam tho other day we shall BIO
glad to record 1t.
President Lincoln said the severest
thing abont Fitz John Porter that
he ever uttered against any public
officer. When the sentence of the
court martial was placed before him
for his approval, he signed It with
alacrity, and remarked: ~ toish the
court martial had ordered him to be
shofgu sH ttfts.#.ftt,8 IA gs5
An Trishman's friend having fallen
into q slough, the Irishman called
loudly to another for assistance. The
latter who was busily engaged In cut
ting log, and wished to procrastinate,
inquired: "How deep IL the gentle-
man in?n "Up to his ankles.n "Thenl
there Is plenty of time,n said the other.
"No there is not" rejoined the first.
II forgot to tell you he's In head first"
A young and pretty lady riding I'm
the cars, was observed to have piece
of coat plaster on her lip. When the
cars had emerged from the bridge into
the light, it was discovered TO have dis
appeared, and was detected cllnging to-
the lips ofa young, man who was sit
looked as IL they hadn't been doing
anything.
The base ball fever Is widely spread.
A lit:le six-year-old was sitting In re-
pose upon the parior steps, with base
ball I'm his hand, gazing intently at tho
moon. PA" he suddenly spoke, "is
there only one man I'm the moon?n
That's the tradition, my son; the
man In the moon was the only inhabi-
tant of that bright world we have ev-
or heard Of" After moments pause,
he remarked with a sigh-'He must
be lonesome. pa,, and no ore to play
base ball With ~ @ r1 Is5Is
Eternity has no gray hairs. Tho
flowers fade, the heart withers, man
grows old and dies: but time writes no
wrinkles on eternity. Eternityl stu.
pendous thoughtl The ever present,
unborn, undecaying and undying--thd
enless chain composing the life Of God
the golden thread entwining the deg
TIMES, but time shrouds them for the
grave its honors are but the sunshine
OF an hour; its places, they are but the
gilded sepulchre; Its pleasures, they
are but bursting bubbles. Not so In
the untried bourne. In the dwelling
OF the Almighty can come no footsteps
of decay.
A LADY correspondent OF the MifF
waukee Sentinci, who writing under d
nom de plume, had attracted consid.
cradle attention, received note from
gentleman admirer, recently, who said
that q lady who could put such beau
tIful thoughts on paper must be equal.
ly gifted In person.. etc., etc., and
wanted to meet her '.by moonlight
alone" to which she wrote an assent.
She came to the rendezvous vailed
they walked, he talked, he made love;
finally gained consent to take n little
kiss, the vail was raised for tho pur-
pose, and the stricken gentleman
gazed upon the confeIy features OF his
own wife
In the American department at Pa.
ris, there Ia on exhibition some gold
which attracts universal
The richness Of the ma
terial and the elegance OF the work.
mansliip is unequaled. IL Is from an
American lady. Her husband ID
New York Publisher, who lives In
great style. He has his fine house,
dashing teams, and Is emphaticaiiy
fat. His wife Ii not allowed tn dwefl.
under his roof. She is an elegant and
accomplished lady, she resolved 10
turn her accomplishments to q good ac-
count.
This lady called on Nine. Demorest
ard told her story, exhitttcd her skill
and found full employment and fair
compensation. For years she has earn
ed a comfortable subsistence, and Is es-
teemed by a1l who know her. Kings
and Queens bend over her handiwork
In Paris with admiration. BY little
and littlc her story has leaked out. and
great interest Ii attached to IL. With
her needle and patient endurance she
will make her nslne in the WORLD
Nt,V FORK Gazette. s.s.
WoRK.--Ail hail, Work Man loft
Paradise by the temptations that beset
Incidence. He will gain II again by
those wholesome qualities which are the
fruit OF intelligent work The curse