The Fairfield herald. [volume] (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1849-1876, 1867-09-25
Things Wise and Otherwise,

"hly park Is OH the sea-" rs the cur
said when the captain threw him over
board.
Why do all ladies like to visit the
sea-coast? Because it relates to mar
ny time,
Mr.. Shook says the reason he does
not marry is, that his house is not
large enough to contain the consc-
quences.
If an ant gives an example of in
dustry it is much more than good
many unclcs do.
An Ohio editor refused to speak the
toast "Woman," saying that woman is
able to speak for herself, any malhysho
undertakes to do it for her will tSt
into trouble Sensible !
"What object do you sec 2" asked
surgeon of q patient who had recently
undergone an operation to restore his
eyesight. The young man hcsitated
for few moments then replied cit
appears Like jackass, doctor, but l.
rather think it is your shadow"
Here is ali amended quotation, by
married man, who has been waiting
for his wife ''to put her things on :"
Hope springs eternal in tho husbands
| breast,
Wives never are, but always to be dressed
"Won't you take half of this poor
apple :" said Il pretty damsel. "No,
thank you'll would prefer better
half" Eliza flushed, and referred
him to her papa.
| A. lover writing to his sweetheart
says
| "DoIcctablc dcar-you arc SO sweet
that honey would blush in your pres
encc, and molasscs stand appalled,"
There is a youth who every time
he wishes to get glimpse of his
sweetheart, cries "Firc - directly un
der her window. In the alarm Of the
moment, she plungcs her head out Of
the window, and inquiries, "Whcro :"
When he POLITICALLY slaps himself on
the bosom, and cxclaims ss'Ere, my
Carolina !" We think bucket Of
icc-cold water would put out that
fire.
Not many days ago young lady
from the country went into the store
of Il merchant not thousand miles
from Columbia, and asked ifhc wish.
cd to purchase a couple of chickens,
at the same time throwing a pair Of
live ones on the counter.
"Wh yes,'s he replied ssbut will
they lay there. meaning would they
remain on the counter for Il few mo
mcnts.
clay there !" archly retortcd the
rustic beauty "No sir Z" thcy lay no
where. Thcm's roo&tcrs %
SIGNS FOR HANDKEKcnIEp FLmrA-
TIoNs.-Drawing across thc lips-Dc-
slrous of getting acquainted.
Drawing across the cyos-I am sor-
ry.
Taking it by tho contrc-You arc
too willing,
Dropping will be friends.
Twirling i'll both hands-Indifrcr-
!, cnce.
Drawing acress the check-I love
you.
Drawing through the hands-I hate
you.
Letting it rest on the right check
Yes.
Letting it rest on tho left check
No.
Twirling in the left hand--I wish to
get rid of you.
Twirling in the right hand-I love
another
Folding it wish to spcak,-with
you.
Over the shoulders Follow me.
Opposite corners i'll both hands
Wait for me.
Drawing across the forehead
arc watched.
Placing on right ear-You have
Placing on tho left earl have o
message for you.
Letting itremain on the cyes-Yon
arc crucl.
Winding round tho forcfngcr-I
am engaged.
Winding round third fingor--I am
married.
NIB. Practice makes perfect.
--~------~s. e--.--.---
10 KEEP MILK SWEET. Mr.
Boyd, correspondent of the Scientific
1meracan, states that ho has practiced
a peculiar method, with much success.
OF preserving sweet milk in the past.
1t simply consists in placing picco
of new hammered iron, or. three
twclvc-pcnny nails in each tin pan.
thcn pouring the warm milk on them.