Des Arc weekly citizen., 1867-10-05
SALMAGUNDI.

ss6-Oftentimes the most costly thing we get is that which is given us.
 BE- sam, are you one of the South ern chivalry?' "No, massa; am one of the Southern shovelry.'' How shovelry3' Il shoveled dirt at the Dutch Gap Canal.'
 s@- Blessed are they who do not ad- vertise; for they shall not be troubled with customers.
 sW- The promised land--fory acres apiece to the freedmen.-[L Louisville Journal.
 ss1~ If, as the London Atlas says, the Queen has given away her last garter, how will she manage in future with her stockings?
 be6~"Tell the truth and shame the devil" We know lots of people who can shame the devil easy enough, but tother thing bothers em.
 H@- Il will never marry woman who can carve, said Jones, "Why not?' asked Smith. Because she would not be help-meat for me.
 @-John G. Sake says that it is a common notion that, if person is born in Boston it .is unnecessary for that favored mortaY1o be "born again."
 a4- Six months ago Boston house sent out cargo of 500 hoop skirts to Japan, as venture. The Japs put cover on them and used them for um- brellas.
 H95- A Yankee has invented swing by which the swinger can, with one foot not only do his swinging easily but may at the same time set in motion churn. wood saw; pump or 8 washing apparatus, as he pleases.
 pJ- Two duelists, having exchanged. shots without effect, one of the seconds interferrcd, and proposed that the par ties should shake hands. To this the other second objected as unnecessary, flor said he, ''their hands have been shaking this half an hour.
 EsU~ Chatting with one of her neigh bors one day, an olo lady related her experience, when converted, as fol- lows: 'I used to be very gay and fond of the world and all it's fashions, till the Lord showed me my folly. liked silks and ribbons and laces and feath- CTS, but l found they were dragging to me uay a9Yn slstte ta hcll--so gave them all
 SOFT SOAP FOR ALL.--For licuten- ant. call him captain; for a middle aged lady kiss her, and say that you mistook her for her daughter; for young gentleman fifteen, ask his opin- ion respecting the comparative merits of razor for young ladies, if you know their color to be natural, accuse them of painting.
 gss~ The following anecdote of the war we have never seen before: Du- ring the war a lady was distributing tracts to the occupants of ward of q hospital, and was excessively shocked to hear one poor fellow laugh at her. She stopped to reprove him. ata
 "Why, nam, says he, you have giy- en me a tract on the sin of dancing, and I've got both legs shot off,
 EDITORIAL NEoEssITIEs--A well known editor of New Jersey, about to start for Long Branch, requested his wife to put in his satchcl what articles were necessary for an absence Of two or three days. He lodged at Freehold, and in the morning he opened the satch- el to take out some linen, when he found it to contain only a bottle of whiskey and bundle of old newspapers. That editors wife evidently understood his 'travelling necessities 44
 GooD FOR MRS. P.-"Will you have a Daily Sun? said news boy to Mrs. Burlington.
 Will have a daily son? Why you little scapegrace! How dare you insin- uate against alone woman from home? No indeed-I guess won't have dai- ly son., My poor dear man used to complain awful when presented him with a yearly son. A daily son indeed. Begone you little upstart imp!' and the old lady called for the old turkey fan to keep from fainting.