The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1867-08-02
Cur an Snrts..
To prsven, dogs going rnad-cut their
tails OF just behind their ears.

Think tsaid Iabss,ths<sarful sky
IL weeping sadly-oaly hear 10 sigh, ~
Do not Csaid ouilp) ecnuissrsss IL voss
II doss not vssp-it osly blows iss ssoss.
The nge for divorce 10 % strong In Chi.
cago that negro sued lor q SEPARATION from
a woman with whom he lived, bat to
whom no had never been married.
An auctioneer exclaimed sWhy ssslly,
ladies' and gentlesnen, sm giving ts,ese
things away Are you 2 said an old Ia
DIV present; 'weli, III thank you for that
silver pitcher you have In your hand"
When the Hindoo priest Is about TO hap
tire an inlan, no utters the following beau
tifil sentiment: Little baby, thou snterest
the world weeping while oil around thee
smile contriye % to live that you may de-
part in smiles whilo oil around you weep"
A school.ma'srn in Heath hss adopted a
new and novel mode Of punishment IL
the boys disobsy her rules she stands them
on their heads and poun cold water into
,At uowsen hssA Afsa s3HS
Z II there Is anybody under the canister
Of heaven that hare In utter excresence,"
says Mrs. Panington, Ii 10 tho slandsrer,
going about like q boy coustrtietor, circu-
iating his calomile on honest folks"
Several nice young gentlemen went to
tho residence Of young damsel to give hsr
a serenade. Amer some time the servant
stepped out, and walking up to tho harpest.
exclaimed: - My friend. the folks are all
abed you oast sss esnf hss isrigh."
A beautiful thought Is suggested in the
the Koran "Angels in the grave will not
question thco - to the amount Of wealth
thou hest Ieft behind thee, but whas good
deed thou hast done in tho world to entitle
thee to seat among the blessed"
I The 6es board In he wor,d fSr q dye
pspte young lsdy, % said 70 b the susA-
board. Il gives them strength OF muscle,
M sxibesance OF spirits, . good appetite
for their meals. and supercedes tho necessi-
~ Of painting their faces. '.'N' I
I, 10 said to DO very safe rule to wet
your wrists before drinking cold water ifyou
are at all heated. The effect is immediate
and grateful. and the danger or fatal results
usy b warieti OF by this, simple Ipsecau'
ton. .I..s..
A clergyman, at the examination OF the
Young scholars OF his Sunday School, put
tho, following question: @why did The
children Of Israel set up golden calfr'
" because they had not money enough to
sc, up an or" was the pupils reply.
/. A. Ward thus described hia perihat sea {:
" Deth stared us into the face. But we
a 81 1c ncsk. Il.
Deth starred 10 into the face, thar wss sbout
70 Of 10 stsrin Deih into the taoo. The
prospect wasn't pleasin." ~
They arc a deeply religious people in
Rhode Island, if the following DO true: A
Connecticut schoolmaster asked lad from
Newport show many Gods arc there ?"
The boy, after scratching his head replied:
Il 10 not know how many Gods you have
rot in Connecticut, but We have got none
in Rhode Island" &c.
While ten men watch for chances, one
man makes chances, and while ten wait for
something to turn up, ono turns something
up; so, while ten fail, one succeeds and Is
called man Of luck or favorite Of fortune.
There 10 no luck like pluck, and fortune
most iavors those who arc most indifferent
TO fortune.
6,o,;..or,o ,,c,,,b., or Concr... f,om
Dacotah TIE other day bought q swapping
turtle and put il in the desk Of venerable
member from Pennsylvania, and then asked
the member for shesg Of paper. The un-
sr,specting gentleman 'fsafiy lost one Of his
fingers by the trick. greatly to the delight
Of the practical Joker.
I'll. ,,.,,,.., ,,.kr..,., ,-e ever knew il
y, hi.cLsn';,h who ..ys sv.rv evening In
his ,,,,,rcn,;ces. uconc. bovr. let,. leave of
"s SPpI -. y, II. ,,,,,.,
work AMI 70 10 saving woOu NO must
bc brother TO the farmer down east, who,
one season when no was building new
house, used to try to get his hired help on,
to play dig cellar by moonlight.
-,
lee 'o ,, s'nnza, oa ,ns I'arr:soo
neunen WISE wan Mai''oa a.. .nee'"' "eA
eced'ns'y we" TOT" anu ""'y'
Al i"ns,h she SEIZED ne tho preferred prize
For mssIinony i made her Wise
Before she was Miss ch'e'i''
e Generally an lrishman will work no
more than u requ'red OF HIM. Ihe ioi'ow-
ing illustrates tins trait OF character An
,ri'hman who was engaged ON a drain, ana
naa o.. PIs ~ aus ~ us ,so =. NO , no,.
s.uek swo,se, ue'' ,, ~ WI" , III, III ~.
Sn' a,'es u'nh1 H., s n %' ~ ,.S ,hs D;ca
nn" p..,GI =, 49, ~. 80 ~" ~ '' VIZ r
ave "a"s"S !" VIZ "
The bloomer costume brings advantages
sometimes to the s,srner sex. One Of our
Ohio exchanges tells story OF husbaud
anu w,'e Who IN uavsung ~ n1s Ias,o
through the WOODS, me' WIN = me'anc"o'y
accident, wh'cn Is mus reco'uea,
sand .hils resrsssinx through siS , the woods
Ne tore his Sa.snr ms.ilcsJs
And had 70 put on hsrn!"
sBc,sey, my dear" said Mr.. Stubbs, Civ.
inv his wiis pair Of damaged unmention.
abIes, "have the goodness to mend these
tIo,,rrs Il will 10 "a good as going to the
..-L.p A. q ,o,k h.r nall.