The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1867-10-11
Cur All surts.

Cur al snrts.
Temptation Is the fire that brings up the
scum Of the heart
Why Is an alarm Of fire in the night liko
clothes brush 2 Because itspoik tho nap.
Epltaph for drussia-his pilgrimage Is
ended.
IL single swallow does not mako q
,p1ng, single bulLfros does.
No matter what part other people may
play, grocer 10 SURF 10 play the COUNTER
part.
Why might carpenters really believe there
Is no such thing rs stone? Because they
never saw IL.
The man who was hemmed in by a
crowd has been troubled with stitch in his
side ever since.
A lady appeared at Long Branch fancy
hall rs amiability. Her husband failed to
recognize her.
"Docs your knitting machine make a
seam" asked an oil lady Of the proprietor
of the Bridgeport knitting machine. at
seams not. was the pertinent reply.
An editor compliments a brother editor
thus: "Mr. Brown 10 clear thinker, al
ready writer, and frst.raio fellow to-
boa." @ CO.
iIcre is an amended quotation by mar
RED man who has been waiting for his wife
40 put her things on;"
lion. .prinrs eternal In the has.andsbresst,
wives Deysr are, bat Away, 70 be, blest
Call that q kind man." suid an actor.
speaking Of an absent acquaintance; "a
man who Is always from his family, and
never sends them Q tarthing! Cali that
kindnesT "Yes, unrenitsing Kindness
A preacher named Opie reproved one OF
his elders for falling asleep during service,
whereupon THE latter retor,ed that he
couldn't help IL. while under the influence
ofsuch heavy opie-ate."
"To speak with the tongue ofmen or an
gels on religious matters is much less
thing than to know how to stay the mind
upon God, and abide with Him in the closet
OF our hearts. observing, loving, adoring
and obeying His holy power within u.s.
The secret Of Danie's struggle through
life was In the reckless sarcasm OF his an
swer TO the prince Of veiona, who asked
him how be could account for the faot, tha,
Ia the household Of princes, the court fool
was in greater favor than the philosopher.
ais over oil the world a test OF friendship.
Il is stated that many Of the citizens Of
North Carolina will forfeit their right of
voting by not being able to. remember their
names nj the polls This reminds us OF
gentleman who went to the post office alter
a letter, and forgetting his name, had to re-
fer to the mark on his linen before he was
able to ask for his letter.
Abel Perkins OFFS, had spite against
Squire b of tho same town. some
one remarked in his hearing one day that
the squire was n mean man. ~Mean,
said Abel; III guess he is. A yard OF
black tape would make him suit OF mourn
ing and then he'd have enough left for
weed ON his hat" .f...rr CD"
A Virginia negro boy who professed to be
dreadfully alarmed ut the cholera, took to
the woods to avoid il, and there was found
asleep. Bring asked why he went to the
woods, he said: "To pray" "Brt, said
the oyersecr. " how Is il that you went TO
sleep?" Don't know, massa, 'zactly," 70
sponded the negro, I" but 'spect must have
overprsyed myself"
An Illinois editor publishes the following
a. the effort OF its new reporter: We are
informed that the gentleman hoo stood on
his head under spile,iriver for the pur-
pose NV hayin a lite pair NV butes druy on,
shortly afterwards found himself in Chiny,
perfectly nakud without cent in his peck
ct. Tie rites that il is his intenshun Nv re-
turning by the way NV the Paris Exposition
A young lieutenant residing in lodgings.
the sitting room Of which was very small,
was visited by one Of his fashionable militia
nv friends, who, on taking leave said, allud
ing 10 the smallness OF tho apartment
" Well, Charles, and how much longer do
YOU mean TO continue in this niishsilf' To
which he witsiy replied, . Until l become
kernel."
Little Alice found out an ingenious way
oi getting To bed in hurry. The CRIB IN
which she slept was so low that, by placing
one foot on the inside, and taking hold of
tho post, she could easily spring in. "Mam-
ma, she said to her mother, " do you know
how get to he'd quick ?" "No," was'he
reply. "well," said she, in great glee. "
step one footlover the crib, then say rats "
AMI scare myself right in"
Mother Earth is a good judge Of man
she will no, yield her crops to the shftless
aud the Inefficient. Blu; the farmer runs
fewer risks than the merchant. The farmer
gives safe credit 10 God aud Nature: the
merchant gives unsafe credit to man. The
seed time knows that its promise will be
fulfilled by the harvest but n promissory
note Of hand never can know whether its
promise is to be broken or not.
"Dou't oct 50, Isaac, dear! said Mrs.
P, rs Ike was raising particular about
the kitchen, and throwing everything into
confusion in vain attempt 10 hnd ball.
People by'n BY will ssy you are non
pompous mentis, rs they did about poor Mr..
smith. The doctor says you are OF the re-
bellious sanguinary temperament, and hoa,;
EN- knows what you would do IL u should
have q tendency 10 tho hesd-perhsps you'd
DIE OF suggestion Of The BRAIN"
Il was in Johannesburg, New York, that
an old scissors grinder, calling on minis
ter, made the usual query: "Any scissors
to grindY" Receiving negative answer,
il was the minister's turn, which he took
by asking: .Arc you a man OF God 2"
III don't understand YOU"
"Ars you prepared % dief"
The question struck home. Gathering
up his kit and scrambling for the door, be
exclaimed, terror stricken: 40 Lord Ol
Lord you amt going to kill me, are your
ale is a had CITIZEN" said Napoleon,
"who undermincs The religious faith Of his
country. All may not. perhaps, be sub
stan,ially good. but certain Il is, that all
come IN aid Of the power, and are essen