The Portland daily press., 1867-04-18
l,leasinG Miscellany
From the toledo Biade.l
Nasty.


The Negro Vot8-Mr. Nasty in imitation Of
IVtds Hampton tries to cOncttidte the african
The Result Of the Venture.
Post Offs Confedrt X Roads, D
(Which is in the Staff ov kentucky, 7
March %, 1867. J
hcv made many sudden and rather 'Stroi-
binary changes in poGtix-some so very sun
dea that the movement prodoost conleStohh ~
the Conscience. L Iekollect wunst ny az ~ ith
in free trade and high protective t'iiii a., n,rcni
iii twelve hours, II made speeIh :; a,,non III |
tooral destrik NV Moo y ork III tl1 -, penn
10 A. NJ, and IN Manufacture 4f,r,, heing so |
svlyany in the evenin, our Pl'99 G,d n cudors-
coustruktid that both sides cood ..a,nv 9TH, |
ooi9.i uh Az II bav perormed menny oChel
- nv moral gymnastics; pu' 'o i'e'
chance hev bin called upon " ,rnosS,, ~
ably the suddenest. M idp and wag en-
III ~ '.iadi3 the Corners ov ni@gers We
FL andaurd them az long az we tnot possiDei,
III 5etnrnind on standing u no longer. Se-
1i.tin tbree wich we waz satlstyd hed tn much
lehu iii, hook into 'em to be enslavd agin, we
P1 Irapairin knowtises to be served onto 'en,
o,deriug 'em to leave III twehty-fore howrs,
,rhen received in the northern male letter
,arLed "Free-AleX. w. Randall, L. NJ. c.
I knowd it was ofiishel TO wunst-that blessid
signatur is on my comishun and I've contem-
Mated il two often to be mistaken in it. Its
contents waz breef, and run thus:
so awl Postmasters in the Southern Stats:
The niggers hey voats-conslliashen Is our best
holt See to it." -.--.
This breet, tho not hard to be understud or
der waz sealed with the otfishel seal Nv the
Post Offs Department stampt INTO putt IN
sted ov wax, to wit a loaf of bred, under roll
NV butter, with 10 hands grabbln at 1t. L
comprehendid the situashen at site, and set
about doom my dutie with both Roman and
Spartan frmness. ~
"Deekin." seq /, tearin up the notises, these
niggers we hey misunderstood Ihey are not
g. ,,,a u9Srpndl NV
Ham and Hager-it wuznt Paurs idee in
sendin back Onesimus to condemn him to
seryitood-we hev misunderstood the situa-
ton and must make amends The niger is
devoid NV SMELL and is trooly man and a
brother! ......
'watY" said the Deekin, tippin back in
amazement. .-a .l- sl1as tLie.
Just wat 1 say" SEE l, "read that" and
flung HIM the letter. r d"
The upshot NV the conference witch folered
wuz the calm NV meetin the next mite, at
wich all the Philippians of the Corners wuZ in
vited and urged to be present.
The trouble wuz to git the nggers to attend
the meetin. The fust one 1 spoke to lafft in
my face, and askt me how long il wuz since |
he'd helpt hang couple of niggers by way NV
hnishin OFT a celebrashen. Pc lock, the Illi-
nos storekeeper, got hold NV it, and told Joe
Bigler, and Joe swOre that eff the nggers had,
MT any more sense than we Civ EN- credit for
in sposin Good bamboozle EN- so cheap, he
shood go back to the old belief, tO-wit: that
they wuz only sooperior race monkeys,
after all; and by mite every niger in the vi
snity was postid thoroughly, and out all Nv
EN- Good only git four who won promis to
attend, and them the Deekin he'd to pay So
apiece to. TO give it eclaw promised one NV
EN- So ito be pade at the close NV the meetin)
to sit on the stand with me, witch bein a very
poor man, and hevin a sick wife in a shanty
near by, who wuz suflerin for medicine, (Which
he coodent git without money! he accepted
At this pint an idee struck me. 1 remember
cd Inv nd latar pad To HOY,
rivain the Couch and Orr biznis. "Another
thing, Cuff, understand that it's part of the
bargain that when in my speech l turn to 700
and stomp, 700 must rise aad embrace me-"
"Wat?" SEE he.
Fall into my arms, lovin like-yoo under
stand-iist as tho we wuz long-lost brothers."
"Scuse me" sed he. "Pse a nifty low mig
ger, and wants to buy de old woman some
quinine, and wood do mos ANYTHING toab dat
but, golly, OATS too muchp'
Not cent, said l., sternly assoomin my
most piercinest gaze, "onless this is includedl'
well" returned he sulkily, 'ef must
speck must, but, goly--"
The mite arrived and the meetin house wuz
full. We thot tust of holdin it in the chapel OF
the College, but give up the idee ez impract-
cable, ez OWN to the dIllytornis NV our North
ern friends in forwardin sch subscriptions ez
tina hev rased, We hewitt got no further with
the bildin than layin the korner stun. In the
front was the four niggers, all in clean
shirts, and on the sIand wuz the nigger he'd
engaged. Over the platform was the toIerin
notices:
"In Yoonion Their is strength-For President
in 1868, Fernando Wood, For Vice President,
Frederick Duglis.
an the Niger, strength-In the Caucasshen
beauty-In the mulatter, who is trooly the no.
best NV the human species-both"
In addishen to these we dug up all the old
notices jefferson ever writ, ABOUT yooniversal
liberty and SIGH, witch hednt been quoted in
Kentucky for twenty wears and postld EN- mn.
in hri Wendell
bin a hoverin over that meetm- house, it wood
hev smiled approvinly.
L spoke to EN- elokently on the yooniversal
brotherhood OF mankind, holdin that whatever
else Good be sed, Adam wuz the father of ali
mankind, and that the only difference between
u white man and niger wuz the niger wuz
sun burnt. The niger, remarkt, WIZ on
doubleday ORIGINALLY white, but hevin bin since
his arrival i'll this country addickted to agri-s
cultooral pursuits, he had bekum tanned to a
degree witch, tho it marred his fsikle buty did
not interfere with his sterlin goodnis OF hart
Their he'd bin differences between the races-at
times Their he'd bin onpleasantnises WITCH no one
regretted more than l. The whites NV the
Corners he'd not alluz bin ez considrit ez Good
hev wished. Theyhed floyd sevral NV en- and
hung many more and in times past he'd held
EN- in slavery and SIGH, but that shood not b,
thOt NV at this happy time 1t was constoo-y
shenel to do these things then, and Kentucky
wuz eminently law-abdin State "Here, SEE
l, ION this platform, with the flag of our COM
mon country over me, declar eternal friend
ship to the cOlored man, and to seel the decla-
rashen 1 thus embrace"
The obstinit Niger didn't stir step.
Come up and fling yoor arms around me-
you black ,cuss," sed l, in a stage Whisper
Come up"
"No 700 don't, bossp' sed the Niger. in a
loud voice witch was audible all over the church.
and, holdin out his hand. II can't trust WOO a
bressd mint. Glib me de So fust. You owe
dis chile foah dollars now TO- sawin wood fo'
nd of q ,
rites, de fust yoose shell put mine to will be
gettin dat money. Pay up fls and de brace
atterward. / can't do SIGH disagreeable ting
widout the cash in advance ~
This rather destroyed the effect The unities
wuznt preserved. The niggers i'm front hurst
out in torturing laff, and Pollock and Binler
rolled III commissions of lafture i'm witch half of
our people joined. Me a standing petrfied.
niger standin with his hands extended for the
money with the Deekin and Bascom horror
struck jist behind, formed a taboo witch wuz
more strildn than pleasant.
Ihe meetln was to wunst adjourned for If
was evident to the dullest comprehensive that
nothln mower coodent be done that mite Ez
usual l + lied for want of capptle. Had bin
posest OF the poltry sum OF five dollars how
different wood hev bin the result! Percbants
may thru that defshency lose Kontucky
1t must never okkur agane-my sallery must
be raised. can't make brix without straw.
Joe Bigler met me next mornin and rcmarkt
iiO lCEicttcu tuc oCcufTe1ce, as he ardent
ly desired to see the two races a pullin tooetI-
er The fault, Perfesser" said he, twas in not
managin properly. The next time yoo want q
spectacle niger to sit on the platform with
700 and the Deekin or kiss and embrace Won.
glt hlm drunk He'll do it, then. probably-1
know he will Eff he's drunk enuff' he'll iur
rah for johnson, and it's possible to cit him
down to the pint OF votin with 700. Lord! how
whiskey drags man down. See what it's brot
700 to-" and the insultin wretch rolled off latin
boisterously. Git 'em drunk, Perfesser!" he
yelled at me as long as he Good see me-
-; we don't intend to give it up. Bigler's adj
act upon it Whisk.y is what brings white
men to us, and eff white man kin be TINS
kaptchered, why not Niger? The Afrikin
hesn't got as far to fall to git down to our level
and it'll take less to bring him. Bascomb or
dered five barrels to-day, which suppose the
administration will pay for, We have yet the
Moo York Custom House, and more of the per-
quisltes must be used for politicle purposes.
PETROLEUM V. Massey p M
kWmcn IS postmaster) and likewise Perfessor
vi DtDnkle PolIticks in the Southern Classicle