Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1867-08-10
tmrnlm lecture Concerning
HkalIuR.

"MF lWHlNf wv hNIHIla'" hHN
grlcved To"
Don't interrupt the, w0nnnl !
tell y0u lis absurd you learn 10
Hkate' You'll be- wanting a. play
Ihiry ~ the Black Crook noxt |
tell you skating In nm accomplish
IAcut suited only oyouth and grace
and comeliness of face and sym
mctry of ngurc, Nothing is 30
charming ns 10 scc n beautiful girl,
IN the coquctiSh costume of the
Kinks, with checks rosy with oxcr-
ton, aud eyes bcaning with excite.
mont, skimming the ice like bird
and swooping down upon a gronp
of gentlemen, and pretending she
can't stop herself and landing in
the arms of the very young man hcr
father don't allow hor to know-and
darling away again and falling on
herhcad and exposing hcrsclf-ex
posing herself to remarks about
carclcssncss, Madam-hold your
tongue and always taking care to
tall when that young man is close
ltTto pick her up, IL is charming !!
They look pretty and interesting,
too, when they are just learning
when they stand still long time
in one place, and then start one foot
ont gingerly, and it makes abrcak
for the other side of the pond and
leaves the balance ofthe girl sprawl
ing ON this side. But you You
look tat and awkward and dismal
enough any time; but when you
are on skates you waddlc oil as
st,asy, and stupid and ungainly MS n
buzzard that's had halfa horse for
dinner. won't have il, Madam
And you get under little pro
oarious Roadway, and then put
your feet together and drift along,
STOPPING your head and shoulders,
and holding your arms ont like you
expected II church was going to fall
on you 1t aggravatcs tho life out
of me. And Tuesday, when | was
ass enough to got on skates myself,
and kicked the Irish giants eye out
the first dash, and lit on my head,
and cracked the ice so much that it
locked like the sun, with all its rays,
Mad dropped where l struck; and
they fined me nincty-two dollars for
running the mans pond. was ter
rified with the conviction that | had
gone through to the inside of the
world, because | saw the parallels
of latitude glimmcring all around
mo; and what was it but you, in
your awk wardness, fetching up over
me with your conlounded filters on :?
You've got to discard those things.
4 can't stand the pew rent, and !
won't"
"Mr. Twain, I am surp-"
"IIold your CHATTER! tell you
J,ou slant bring odium upon the
family by your disgraceful attempts
to skate, sprawling around with
your big feet like a cow ploughing
her way down hill in slippery
weather. May be you wouldn't be
so handy about displaying those
feet of yours ifyou knew what oc-
CURED when | took your shoes down
10 get mendcd."
"What was it? Tell mo what it
was, toll me what it was this min
ute! just know it's one of your
lics!"
Oh! don't mind; it amt Of any
consequence; so to sleep"
"But it is of consequence! You've
got to tell me; you shan aggravatc
me this way; l won't go to sleep
till know what it was.
ooh! it wasn't anything"
"Mr. Twain, ] know better |!
You're Just doing this to drive me
to distraction. What did that shoe
.makcr say about my shoe? What
did he do? Quick"
"Well, if you must know, he-hc
however, its ONO consequence.
'Mr. Twain"
"WeII, bo-he took it and gazed
upon it long timo in silence, and
put his handkerchief to his eyes and
burst into tears"
"Why, you born fool! Twain,
are you going stark, staring crazyy'
"Hc Just stood there and wept as
if his heart would break, poordevil
There now, let's 20 to Sleep"
"Slecp, you lunatic! I'll never
close my eyes Till l know what that
idiot was crying about, and you
won't either can tell you that
Come!"
"Oh it don't matter"
Mr.. Twain, if you say that again,
Hay I'll make you sorry for it;
what was that numskull crying
about2s
? 'aWelf Rc-hc"
eve IL, he. Out with it! do
YOU want me to-to-Twain. Ill
snatch them pct fringors off till the
sides of your heads as bald as the
top of it ("
Well, he-poor fellow Tho SAID
Ne dotted on his grandmother-fairly
dotted on her. She had nursed him,
you know, because his mother was
always feeble, and So. Well he
came to this country fifteen years
ago, and'got along pretty well, and
was about to send to England for
the old lady, when hard times came
and he got broke. He went into
ssnit then, and then into MiIk-into
all sorts Of things, you know but
he got disappointed every time till
this present business fetched him
out at last all right, and he sent
right off for. the old woman. She
landed here four weeks ago, but
died the very same night. 1t was
lard, very hard, after all his wait
ing and toiling for fifteen years, to
get her over here at last and have
her die on his hands. Hs-he-
we'll, he was disgustcd. However
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