The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1867-08-15

Htel pfOJeckS iOur lDchesE How re-
joict am that | am at last set rite on
these important puts"
smiled beninantly onto him.
Bigler riz. Il too," sed he, sam
satisfied that the niger is not wat we,
who wuz disposed to consider him fit
to exercise rites, supposed him to be.
| held firm when the measurement NV
his hands and arms wuz being made,
but the heel staggered me. It's clear
that no one kin hey intelek whose leg
isn't set in his foot better than that. |
shel persoo this investigashen. Hevin
now a startin pint-a heel, ez l may
say, to stand ou--I shel 90 on to prove
the inferiority Nv the nigger. With
that heel for a fulcrum, | shel, with the
lever Nv trooth, proceed to upset the
fabric NV niger ekality and carry con-
fooshen into Boston. | shell assoom
that Napoleon is average specimen Nv
the lower Or unintellectool African type.
Is it 500"
"It is. it is" yelled we all, delited
at the happy turn the thing was takin
81 shel also assoom that Issaker Cav
lit is a avrage NV the higher or intel
lectooal Caucashen type. Is it so?"
Certainly. Certainly"
every well. Now quake, Massa-
choosetts, Napoleon, kin 700 read ;"
| saw the trap into wich we he'd fall
len, and risin hastily, proteStid that the
examinashen he'd bin carried far enuff,
and SO did Deekin Pogram, but Bigler
swore he wuz agoin to kiyer Massa-
choosetts with shame, and | sot down
paralyzed.
"Kin yoo read, Napoleon?"
eyes sab :"
"Read this, them" sed Bigler, hand
ing him noospaper.
The niger read it ez peert ez a Moo
England skool marin, wich well he
mite, ez he learned it from one NV EN-.
"Kin 700 write?"
Certainly" and takin a pencil be
writ half nv the Declashen Nv Iudepen-
dence.
"Set down, Napoleon. It's devil
ish pity yoor heels is so long other
wise yood be credited with hevin intel
lex
Now Issakcr, my bold Caucashcn.
kin 700 read ?"
81 protest" shrieked |, in agony.
"Issaker don't answer the scoffer ut eth
uology!"
But Issaker cz white ez sheet and
tremblin under the eye Of Bigler, who
knowd him from infancy, suffered out
"No."
"Kin 700 rite my gay descendant Of
the sooperor race p
And, still under the infooence Nv
Bigler's eye, he answered No"
"What in thunder's the yoose Of ci-
pherin when the old man aluz KEEP
Niger to do his fggerin"
"Set down, Issaker We're done
with you. There's an error sumwher.
The niggers capaSsity wv skull is less
by several cubic inches, but he seems
to hev used wat he hez lively. But it's
all rite, Parson. Issaker shell vote and
the niger shant. Readin and writin
never wuz a qualifcaShen for votiu
down here, any way. Possibly the
seat of the intelleck is in the heel in-
stead of the brain, wich accounts for
the nigger's heyin the most NV it."
And Pollock and Bigler, and the mig
gers present, left the meetin house, laf-
fin uproarously and THROWN all sorts NV
adoos back to us.
| doubt whether the result NV the in
vestigashen will help our friends North;
fact is, it wuz overdone. 1t wuz car
ried too fur. There is a pint at wich
facts ought to stop-Dimekratic facts in
partikeler. In this instance the inves-
tigashen shood never hev been carried
beyond the heel. He'd it stopt there,
we wood hev he'd en-. But carryin it
to the radikle pint Bigler and Pollock
took it, the foundashen we built wuz
upset, and we are at sea agin, Wood,
OH wood that we wuz rid NV these
jeerin fanatics.
PETROLEUM v NAsBY, p. NJ,