Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1865-1872, 1867-11-22

your own hapPluoss. III you 40 not loFo
me enough to be my wife. you might learn
to do so. But If il will make ycu hap
pier to reject me, do not hesitate to do
so.'
Happier asked, bitterly.
He had been gazing out upon the sea,
and turned suddenly ut the sound Of my
voice. Ii was so full Of bitterness that IL
startled even me.
Are you i'll Nellie. be asked anxiously
No. | answered, with forced calmness
Only | cannot talk to you about this
now. Walter. cannot now. At some
other timo''
Il have been too hasly.' he said, tender.
ly. Poor child, your griex has not rown
calm enough for you 30 think Of anything
but your mother. can wait, Nellie. /
could wait a lifetime for you
A sharp pain shot through my heart,
aud 10 was with difficulty that repressed
cry of anguish. Ai-yshssrt.- -.was wrung
with terrible torture, aud | felt that l
could endure Walters presence no longer.
asked him TO go back by himself and
leave me, as | wanted TO DO alone. lie
seemed surprised at frst; but when re-
pcaied my request, he turned TO 90 away.
| .prang up aud caught bis hand,
sWalterl
'Nellier
III anything should happen to give you
cause to hate me- would you do SOP
Hate you. Nellie? ] do not think l
could hate you"
Not even though should give you
cnuse to do SOP | asked scarcely knowing
what said.
Not even then, Nellie. would, in
such case, feel great sorrow, but no un-
Kindness. But what makes you ask me?'
lie looked ut me anxiousIy Us he spoke.
Nothing | replied. 'Go-leave me
now. am weak und nervous
lie turned of with Sigh; aud us he
went he seemed TO carry al. the light Of my
existence with him. | sank down on the
rock aud gave way TO my feelings. sui
ierod intensely, aud myseI-haIred became
almost unendurable; but still grew drmer
IN my resolution. I hat optburst enabled
me TO 20 through tho rest with more calm.
ness IL was dark when | went back
home; aud by that time had conquered
my heart Among my friends was gentle.
man whom had known from my child
hood. lie was llty at least; and | was
Just twenty one. received visit from
min few days after my interview with
Walter, and before he left me, he made me
an offer of his haud. lie told me he had
loved me for long time, hut he had fear
ed TO speuk before, as he was so much
older that he feared | could not love him;
but now that was alone in the world, hc
lei, that be had right to toll me OF his
love
These were almost the very words Wal
ter had spoken TO me, aud they iell with u
cold chill on my heart. i usked him time
to reflect on the offer he had made, aud
Was given as long period ms | desired.
Ii seemed to me that some hidden power
was holding out this offer 10 tempt me to
my fate. lie was man, of pure aud no
BILE heart, who wished to make ne his
wife. lie was wealthy; but l did not love
him. Yet had resolved upon rich
marriage, aud had no better prospect
than this. Should | accept him? Oh,
the torture. the agony of those Thoughts!
Iell that knew what my course would
be. Ii would be 10 deceive true
good man, who trusted me, aud prove false
to my own heart.
l avoided Walter, but could not help
seeing him sometimes. lie never said any
thing more with regard 10 that ,ffer he had
made me; but I.perceived that he was aux
iously awaiting my answer. Little did
he dream how much suffering those inter.
views cost me. | would have given my
life TO have knelt ut his feet and laid my
heart before hin, to have asked him to
take me to his own great heart aud save
me from myself; bat could not--l could
not.
| resolved to end this trial. | sent for
Mr.. Grey. aud gave him my answer to his
suit. l promised to be his vile. When
he left NE tainted; aud after tnst my
heart seemed frozen within me. Ouiy
once it moved beyond my control.
One afternoon, about sunset, went out
alone to tEo rocks near The sea shore, where
| had been 80 often with Walter. sat
for a long time looking ont on the waves,
which were overcast with a dull, leaden
hue, and listening to the moaning OF the
surf on the beach. The sadness of the
scene claimed my own tortured feelings;
and sat motioDess, with vague sense
OF relief from pain. How long | sat thus
do rot know. / was aroused by an in
stinc.iv kaowledged that was not alone;
and looking up. saw Walter standing BY
me. lie was sadier thau had ever
seen him. lie sat down by me, and we
talked for long time. he moon was
rising, but it soon obscured by dark
clouds. Still we sat there. wish to tell
him Of my engagement, but knew not
how to do SO. thought it best that he
should learn it from me. At last 1 nerv
ed myself for the fearful effort
Walter, said l, and my voice sound d
harsh aud stern; do you know Mr. GreyY
'Certainly. lie is one of the be and
most upright men in the place. Why do
you askY
Because / have promised to be his
wife, replied. shook like an aspen;
my strength seemed going from me.
Walter only bent his head so that |
could not see his face. aud then said in a
low tone, after moments silence-'l
have feared this for some time, Nellie. l
don't blame you, but doubt the wisdom
Of your choosing so old a man.
OF course you do, it is natural that you
, should Ispoke sharply, and even rude
lly. but IL was n relief TO the pain that was
, gnawing at my heart.