Brownlow's Knoxville Whig. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1866-1869, 1867-04-10
FEMALE SUFFRAGE.
Humorous Speech Of Mr.. NOEL, Of
Missouri.
Women lovely woman, strong minded woms
woman whose name is frailty, and

Women, lovely woman, strong minded woman,
woman whose name is frailty, and
Woman in our hours Of ease,
So fckle, coy and hard 70 please"
woman as taxpayer, woman as a dress-maker,
woman as q baby-jumper; woman in their higher
capacity as angels-a relation that cannot well be
sustained at the present high prices of millinery
and dry goods, for less than ten thousand year to
each angelic creature; woman as the weaker vessel
IA relation that Gao be sustained on two dollars
week; in short woman in all her varied capacities
from Queen to darymaid, from Empress to Bridget,
from Mrs. Stowe, who has exercised more influence
over politics than any American politician, down to
gentle Annie" who wouldt be seen TO vote; wo-
man as the toy and pet Of man woman as the slave
and drudge-all these have found an advocate on
the floor Of Congress in the person of Hon. T. T..
NOEL, Of Missouri, who proves conclusvely that
woman are entitled to the right of suffrage.
Mr. Noell's first fact is, that woman is the source
of all civilization. During the periodical overflow
ings Of the Nile, when nen and women were first
obliged TO mingle together and shift for theusselvss
the found out for the first time that the gray
mare was the better horse" and so made woman the
controlling class. Egypt civilized the world and
women civilized Egypt. In the garden Of Eden
the sexes we're equal
"When Adam delved, and Eve spun,
Who was then the gentleman 20
But after Cain killed Abel, the history of the
world has been written in blood and in the general
war of barbarism, woman, being unable TO fight for
her rights, lost them. Mr.. NOEL thinks that Eve
6rst wore the brooches, and that they were symbol
Of power" Babylon and Carthage were founded
by women. Helen and Andromache shone in Ho-
meric no less brightly than Hector and Arch
lilies. The women Of Rome, TO avoid the suspi-
eion of having drank wine, kissed every man they
met. II those of Washington would do likewise,
the entire Congress would join the Congressional
Temperance Society In the darkness and univer-
s] grossness Of the middle ages ehvalry arose for
Il ~, r
chivRlrous knights thus became the champions OF
noble women the latter began TO decorate their per-
sons, and to patroEize peddlers which they have
done sssiduously ever since. Thus woman revived
commerce.. Mr. NOEL contends that woman do not
ask to vote for the same reason that the rebels of
Missouri and the South did not when they knew
that 70 ting could not be had for the asking he
says:
q Women do not ask 70 vote, because they know
they would be cried down rs strong-minded. Il is
supposed that none but long-haired men and
strong-minded women are in favor of this measure
Of justice. Therefore women say they do not wish
to vote. They are afraid 10 kick against the goads.
"They are taught from childhood that they must
be deceitfnl. The whole system of their education
leads them 10 suppression Of truth A womans no
proverbially means yes. The first decsit which a
girl learns is the eoncealment of her age preparing
for future contingencies They know that men and
owls like spring chickens; and 10 cater 70 mems
craving for tender meat girls never get older than
sixteen II well-bred girl is asked 70 msrrv. she
invariably says, MOI" but her sweetheart knows
by her dropping eyes and hesving bosom that she
means yes. If he has ever seen Forrest or read
Marryatt he win know what &c do; he will encircle
her fragile waist with his arm, and exclaim trsg-
caiiy. 40 dearest Stella, shivsir my jib-boon If
sail lifes voyage without theen She then falls into
timber sw9on, and weeping uIIOn his manly breast
exclaims, gushingly, Noble Fitzhugh Fitspoedle,
YOU must ask my maj At this, the loving ma,
has in adj
ing for her cue, comes in al unsuspecting, and
smiles greeting 10 the Demonstration young
EIf in pleasant walk through the woods on
Nay morning, q sweet nymph, over whose bead
thirty summers have shed their brightness, should
hand you q violet, she means that she is too Young
10 leave her mother. II 3 scrswny matron Of my
hands bellicose old codger sprig OF snntoweF
il is gentle hint that she is fat and forty, Bear
in mind that two-score and ten does not deprive
widows Of sentimentality.
"'old age nee'r cools widows blood
aft buxom maid who weighs ten stones. hslds
you touck-me-not,' she intimates thai sbs y
frail thing and mutely beseeches you not to crush
her. If you walk in the garden with an cid maid
whose personal charms are in the inverse ratio OF
her fears Of al attack upon her purity, be careful
not TO give her poppy. She will Immediately take
fright and ask you TO "spare her honor" If an old
bachelor, in attempting to play the gallant should
pluck daHodil and present It to widow, she will
faint in his arms and be will find himself like the
venerable Mr.. Pickwick, with his head in the mat
trimenial noose-for all unwittingIy be has said,
a viii YOU marry me p and she has BY this widowly
paptonine signffed that Barkis is willing" If a
laughing girl with 3 rosy, poutng mouth gives
YOU A tulip, she means kiss me Il you can and
would not give much for the man that .seald not.
IA few years ago, the girls had great fancy for
nhrenelogy They disconrsed wisely on bumps and
temperAnents They freely permitted male gawks
10 tumble over their aunty little hesds and discourse
on their bumps confess 10 have read Lsvater,
and who would not when such were the induce
mentsF What glorious privilege to hold in yoar
hand these beautifl temples Of divinity To tninSi
TOO, Of the magic fancies, the bright dreams, the
uAlht oddities, and little schemes that have lifted
s'Iosagh ths teeming brain within. But now these
are teeredly guarded from the touch Of rade
~ you attempt to cares girl by stroking
her trsnt nair, she viii cry out arska csre Of my
rats or II yon attempt 70 touch the hack nart AZ
her head, you are rolled away Ia Al illi,:t AZ;
lance by resistless waterfall
+" Girls have another highly inteeo. ual iiver.,or
telling fortunes. The art Of divinasion has ss-,,
been appropriated by the women.
q At an evening party, when gossip has been ex
hAusted, and the women whose eountenances are
excruciatngy ugly have been several times told by
Eice young men that they look charmingly; when
the Feather has been fully discussed; when one-half
Of the party has emphAtically said, This is a Gne
evening" and the other balf have replied, with
eoEaa emphasis, Delightful 50 that there can be