The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1867-03-12
THE cAUDLE LECrUREs.
Mr. Candle Join. a club and H.a
from his wife ON the esubJeet.---"TI

"well, if woman hadn't better be
IN her grave than be married! That is,
if she can't be married to a decent man.
No; I don't care II you are tired,
ShG'H't let You go to sleep. No, and 1
won't say what have to say in the
morningi Pll say it now. It's all very
well for you to come home at what time
you lke-it's now half-past twelve
and expect I'm to hold nv tongue and
let you go to sleep. What next, I
wonder2 A woman had better be sold
for a slave at once. s i.
"Aud so you've gone and ioiped a
club? the Skylarks, Indeed a pretty
skylark you'll make of yourself! But
1 won't stay and lie ruined by you. No,
I'm determined on that. iii go and
take the de1r children, and you NAV
get who you like to keep your house.
That is, as long as you have house to
keep-and that won't be long, know.
How any decent man can go and
spend his nights in a tavern!-oh. yes,
Mr.. Caudle; dare say you do go for a
rational conversation. 1 should like to
know how many of you would care for
what you call rational conversation, il
you had ii without your filthy brandy
and-water; yes, and Your filthy tobac-
co-smoke: I'm sure the last time YOU
came home, / had the headache Tor a
week. But know who's taking you
to destruction. IL's that brute, Pretty
man. He has broken his own poor
wife's heart, and now he wants to-but
don't you think it Mr.. Caudle; I'lI not
have my peace OF mind destroyed by
the best man that ever trod. Oh, yesi
know you don't care so long as You
can appear well to all the world-but
the world little thinks how you behave
TO me. 1t shall know it, though-that
I'm determined.
"How any man can leave his own
happy tireside to go and sit, and smoke,
and drink, and talk with people who
wouldn't one of 'em lift finger TO save
him from hanging-how any man can
leave his wife-and good wife, too,
though 1 say it-for parcel OF pot
comPaniOns-oh, it's disgraceful, Mr..
Caudle; it's unfeeling. No man who
had the least love for his wife could
do it.
"And suppose this is to be the case
eveIy Saturday? But know what I'll
do l know-it's no use, Mr.. Caudle,
your calling me good creature; Pm
not such fool to be coaxed in that
way. NO; IL you want TO go to sleep,
you should come home in Christian
Tins, not at halfpast Twelve. There
was time when you were AS regular
at your hreside as the kettle. That
was when you were decent man, and
didn't go amongst Heaven knows who,
drinking and smoking, and making
what you think your jokes. 1 never
heard any good come to a man who
cared about jokes. No respectable
tradesman does. But I know what I'll
The house serves liquor after twelve of
Saturday; and if l don't write to the
magistrates, and have the license taken
away, am not lying in this bed
this night. Yes, you may call me
IA foolish woman but no, Mr.. Caudle,
no; it's you who are the foolish man;
or worse than foolish man; you're a
wicked one. If you were to die to-
morrow-and people who go to public
houses do all they can to shorten their
lives-l should like to know who would
write upon your tom bstone, "A tender
husband and an affectionate father?'
lid have no such falsehoods told of
you, can assure you.
"Going and spending your money,
and-nonsense! don't tell memo, If
you were ten times to swear it, l
wouldn't believe that you only spent
eighteen pence on a Saturday. You
can't be all those hours, and only spend
eighteen pence. l know better. I'm
not quite fool, Mr.. Candle. A great
deal you could have for eighteen pence!
And all the Club married men and
fathers of families. The more shame
for 'em! Skylarks, indeed They
should call themselves Vultures; for
they can only do as they do by eating
up their innocent wives and children.
Eighteen pence a week! And jf-it was
only that-do you know what fifty-two
eighteen pences come to in a year? Do
you ever think of that, and see the
gowns wear? Pm sure 1 can't, out of
the house money, buy myself a pin
cushion though I've wanted one these
. he -
of cotton. But what do you care so
You get your Observation-Disclosures?
There's the girls, too-the things they
want! They're never dressed like 9TH
er peoples children. But it's all the
same TO their father. Oh, yes! So he
can go with his Skylarks they may
wear sackcloth for pinafores, and pack
you'd better not let that Mr.. Pretty
man come here, that's all; or rather
you'd better bring him once. Yes,
should like TO see him. He wouldn't
forget 1t. A man who, 1 may say, lives
and moves only in Spittoon. A man
who has pipe in his mouth as con-
slant as his front teeth. A sort of tav-
ern king, with lot of Tools like, like
you, to laugh at what he thinks his
Jokes and give him consequence. No,
Mr.. Caudle, no; it's no use you telling
me to go to sleep, for 1 won't. Go to
sIlSePI ! III sure II hInOsJ
time to get up. hardly know what's
the use OF coming to bed at all now.
The Skylar6s, indeed L suppose
you'll be buying Little Warbler and
at your time of life be trying to sing.
The peacocks Will sing next. 4 pretty
name you'll get in the neighborhood;
and, in very little time, a nice face
you'll have. Your nose is getting red
der alreadyi and you've just one Of the
noses that liquor always flies to. You
don't see its T'edS No-I dare say not
but I see il; Isee a great many things
you DON'T. And so you'll go on. In n
little time, with your brandy andwater
don't tell me that you only take two
small glasses; know what mems two
small glasses are; in a little time you'll
have face all over as fit was made OF
red d-currant jam. And 7 should like to
know who's to endure yop then?
won't, and so don't think it. Don't
come to me.
Mice habits men learn at clubs =
There Joskins; he was decent creature
once, and now I'm told he has more
than once boxed his wife's ears. He's
a Skylark too, And l suppose, some
day, you'll be trying to box my ears
Don't attempt it, Mr.. Caudle; I say,
Don't attempt it. Yes-it's all very
well for you to say you don't mean it
but only say again, Don't attempt it.
You'd rue it tilIthe day of your death,
Mr.. Caudle.
"Going and sittirg for four hours at n
taveTnI What men, unless thew had
their wives with them, can find 10 talk
about, L can't think. No good, Of
course. a aE-
tEighteeu pence afweek-and drink
ing brandy and-watsr enough 10 SWIM
a boat! And smoking like the funnel