Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1867-08-08
.sBob varIzi.,, ON Vvoman's Rights.

bob Varkis,o one of the cleverest writ
ers of the FArtefnus Ward Bill Arp and
Josh Billings school (but who is Bob y, has
been to the Woman's Rights denonstra-
tion, and in the Metropolitan Record Port
folio," OF this week, thus relates his expe-
rience:
EDITOR PoRrFoLto-Things are movin.
The age into which we are livin is goin
ahead. The injineers are crowdin on
stsem and hurryin forward with much
rapidness. At mod'rate calkulashuniI /
shood say the whole darned concern III bust
upb in about ten years, If not at more
early period. d. 3 s7sz.. : So. s
My wife belongs to that sex and likewise
her mother. My wife's mother is a sing'-
lar woman. It is her natur to make things
rough, specially for her son-in-law, whose
constant prayer it is that he may soon have
the melankoly satisfacshun OF paying her
funeral expenses. When my wlfess moth
er dies, / will put about two thousand
pounds of tombstone onto her, SOS she
can't come back no more. I'm blest if she
amt the darndest woman for eneouragin
what our parson calls demestick infellsIty
that ever seed.
But it was not to write about this aged
femail that 1took up my pen. 4 had
higher and more grander objeck, which is
sutfiiu like this : For some several noo-
merous weeks my wife has been actin
somehow us if suthin was onto her mind,
and it was troublin her. Feelin interested
in her condition, asked her one night
what was alin her, and she said it was tie
wrongs of her sex. "Right EN-" l said.
1--WE mean to,n said she.s ssWhich ?' said l.,
'sOur sisterhoed," said my wife. III q <
After fixin up the tea things next night,
my wife put on her best shawl and went
out. / went with her, earryin an umbrel-
Ter. We walked some ten minutes and
then went into house which stood onto
plot of ground. We was ushered into
Toom where Several femails was sittin.
One of the femails looked hard at me and
asked me if / had any sympathy into my
boosom, NV wife raised her expressive
ewes, and ] sukkamed. Another temail
then said that the sisterhood would pro-
ceed to business. (which is what ?" in
consider the wrongs of our sex and to re-
dress 'em." -"Go ahead, ma'am,'' said l,
ssand don't be bashtul because Pm here"
The femail which was speakin proceeded
to state thequestion.
THE "uuestionn embraced recital of
wrongs, from the DAYS of Adam down to
those of old John Brownj-after which
Then the sisters had some tea, and by'n
by they got back to the question of wrongs,
and the way to right lem. A venerable
woman with a sharp nose and voice OF
similar pecooiarity, laid her hands onto
the table, and lookin severe at me, said
things must be redressed. t.- r
"Yes. ma'am," said 1, s'some things need
redressin very much. There, for instants,
is lovely femails on the stage. Some of 'em
amt dressed enough to keep 'em warm.
blushed, ma'am, and felt sorry for about
fiftygof Penn the night / went to see the
BLACK Crook and"-my remarks were in
terrupted by femail howl which come from
cit
and, ,promiskusly all the fenlails went into
the howiin business.
Iput onra stern and virtuous expresshun,
and said Ihad visited the sink OF perdishun
in the interest of an outraged community.
NV obfeck, -Isas said, was to see for
myself + how a much, depth of de-
prayity was sounded onto the modern
the sdemoralizin infiooance of the statoo
dramer. j continooed to remark thft had
composed 1ectur onto the subjeck, which
I wood read for the benetitiof the sisters il
IL was pleasin to 'em. This genrous prop
osishun was rejected with lively scern, and
the old woman who started the subjeck
sail if that coarse and vulgar man wOod
keep quiet she wood read some resoloo-
T Ths resolooshuns which this femail REQ
were to- the effeck which follow, to-wit,
that is to say, VIZ;
WHEREAS, 4AO OAoOS~S VI >
which are false and impioUsly called the
lords. have kept their heel onto the necks
of woman since they assoomed to be their
masters, and oppressed her crooelly, and
with no just cause; and .re,l. GETS
WHEREAS, We are now iiv1n into the era
of progress, when enlitenmentls ls dr1vin the
cioIIds of barbarism and oppresshun into
the. oshan of the hidyus past, and. it be-
boovs woman to assert her night to regu-
iate her own affairs in her own way
therefore, be it
'N1 ResoIred, That the Unrestricted Email
Riohtss 1AssoceashHn demands the same
nrivEglties for it's femail sex, including all
aIasses and condishuns, which are now en-
ioved nv the tyrants and oppressors OF tht
yDo1thers. wives and dawters OF the United
oea5ss Pssolred. " 4 That the o. F. RIA. is united
hySonds of sympathy, which the tyrants
nj ,.i-onpressors amt strong enuf to sever
.d that we the members which are thereof
- aiIeiatlce to, the maxim that what
90 he eured must not be endoored-
,so5,ed That the femail sex throout the
Y1a;ssg Sfaifs ef Anaeriky Aforesaid be re-
f~esfed ~ the Sekretaryess OF the ", =
Rw3sse afe a. o,,,,ro more buttons puss nc
-. - cb;ldren. .'af5d allow no more klssin
moae t,never. never until their right to vote and
81 it,reps. and be judges and professurs
Ell ou IA lie be recognized by the ty ram
and oppressur, which IS aioreHhs.6 a7p net
Peselredy That we hang our DannerT' pTsl pnd
.;costs. etseteree. onto the QUEER %ai adis al.
;nscribe 'em with these words' ! Nc 'Aees-' -
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