The Portland daily press., 1867-08-09
:
Miscellany
Arlemus Ward.
A "REMINISCENCES BY MARK TWAIN.

letters of introduction from mutual friends in |
San Francisco, and by invitation Ibreakfasted |
with him. 1t was almost religion, thee in |
the silver mines to precede sucn meal with |
whisky cocktails. Artemus, with the true |
cosmopolitan instinct, always deferred to the
customs of the country he was in, and so he |
ordered three of those denominations. Kings |
ton was present. am match for nearly |
any beverage you can mention except whisky |
cocktail, and therefore / said l would rather |
not drink one. / said it would so right to my |
head and confuse Inc so that would be in a |
helpless tangle in ten minutes. / did not want
to act like lunatic before strangers. But |
Artemus gently insisted, and l drank the
reasonable mixture under protest, and felt all
the time that 1 was doing thing might be
sorry for. In a minute or two began to I'M
asine that my ideas were getting ciouded. 1
waited in great anxiety for the conversation |
to open, with sort of vague hope that my
understanding would prove clear alter all, and
my misgivings sroundless.
Artemus dropped an unimportant remark
or two, and then assumed look of stlperhu-
man earnestness, and made the following as
founding speech. He said:
Nov, there is one thing ought to ask you
about before forget 1t. You have been here
in Silyerland-here In Nevada--two or three
years, and of course, your position on the dali
~ piCoo htAo LhduC IL uCCCSodIy lOI yOu 10 20
down to the mines and examine them care
fully in detail, and therefore you know about
the silver mining business. Now, what want
TO get 1T isis. Well, the way the deposits of
ore are made, you know. For instance. Now,
as understand it. the vein which contains
the silver is sandwiched in between castings
of granite and runs along the ground, and
sticks up like acurbstone. Well, take vein
forty feet thick, for example or eighty. for
that rnaftnr h1,nIpod-catr
down on II with shaft-siraight down, you
know, or with what you call an inclined, p
maybe you go down five hundred feet, or may
be you don't 90 down but two hundred: any,
way, you go down, and all this time this vein
grows narrower, when the castings come near
er, or approach each other, as you may say
that is, when they do approach, which of
course they do not always do, particularly in
cases where the nature of the formation is
such that they stand apart wider than they
otherwise would, and which geology has fail
ed to account ior, although everything in that
science goes to prove that, all things teing
equal, it would, ii it did; and then Of course
they are. Do you not think it isr'
said to myself, ''Now L just knew how it
would be-that cussed whiskey cocktail has
done the business tor me; !; 1 don't understand
any more than clam" And then said
aloud, "I-l-that is-if you don't mind.
would you-would you. say that ever again?
ought
o, certainly, certainly. You See am very
unfamiliar with the subject, and perhaps /
don't present my case clearly, but l."
mo, no-no, no-you state il plain enough
but that vile cocktail has muddled me a little.
But will UNI do understand, forfhat mat
ter, but l would geO the hang of it all the
better if you went over it again-and I'll pay
better attention this time" -
He sail GXVby xuhaf Woo affar ,.,o. Al
Here he became even more fearfully impress
sive than ever, and emphasized each particu-
lar point by checking it off on his finger-ends.l
"This vein, or lode, or ledge, or whatever YOU
cali it, runs along between two layers Of gran
ite, Just the same as if it were a sandwich.
Very we'll. Now suppose you co. down on
that, say y thousand feet, or NAV be twelve
hundred, lit don't really natter, before YOU
DRIFT; and then you start your drifts, some OF
the length of it, where the sulphurets-I
believe they call them sulphurets.
though why they should do SO, considering
that, so far as l can see, the main de-
pendence oi miner does not SO lie as
some suppose, but in which il cannot be
successfully maintained, wherein the same
should not continue while part and parcel of
the same are not committeds to either in the
sense referred to, whereas under different ci.-
SuhhotauSOo ohO 1i4Oot lilGAp6llFQcGQ among
us could not detect 1t if 1t were, or might
overlook it if it did, or scorn the very idea of
such thing, even though it were palpably
demonstrated as such.1 Am not right ?s' q
/ said, sorrowfully, I feel ashamed of nv
self, Mr.. Ward. I know / ought to under
stand you perfectly well-but you see that in-
fernal whisky cocktail has got into my head,
and now / cannot understand even the sim
piest proposition. told you how it would
"Oh, don't mind it, don't mind it, tbe fault
was my own, no doubt-though did think /
was making it clear enough for'-
Don't say word. Clear! why YOU
stated it as clear as the sun to anybody but
ar abject idiot, but it's that confounded cock
tail that has played the mischief"
No, now don't say that-PIl begin it all
over again, and"-
Don't now-for goodness sake don't do
anything of the ,kind-because tell Won NV
head IS in such condition that don't believe
could understand the most tliaing question
a man could ask me-"
Now don't you be afraid. I'll put it so
plain this time that you can't help but oet
the hang Of it. Wen begin at the veery
beginning leaning far, across the table.
with determined impressiveness wrought
upon ms every feature, and fingers |
prepared to Keep tally of each point. as emu
merated, and / leaning forward with painful
interest, also, resolved to comprehend or per |
1shI. You know, the vein, the ledge. the 1
thing that contains the metal, whereby il con-
stltutes the medium between all other forces.
whether of present or remote agencies. SO
brought 70 bear in favor of the former. against
me latter, or the latter against the former, or
q an or both, or comprising, as far as possible,
Inc relative differences existing within the ra-
nus whence eliminates the several degrees of
SlmlarlfV fn which 4