The Hancock Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Ohio) 1857-1870, 1867-12-13
A School Bows Letter.

John Quill gets off the following
neat burlesque in the New York Sun
day Dispatch
BIRcHrowN AcADAMY, Sep. %.
DEAR PoP:-I am getting along
FIRST rate at the school, and like it
very much, all except Whacks. the
assistant-"Old Beeswax," we call
him, and we are down on him like a
pile driver, all US boys, for he's igno-
rant. Why, he's SO ignorant he don't
know a blackboard from q dark
night, no, he don't, and Bill Ferguson
he put a torpedo under each leg of
old Beesey's chair yesterday, and
when he cat down (you see he sits
down like he had ballast in him,
why the torpedoes then exploded and
like to blowed him through the roof.
Golly but wasn't he scared! He
looked at the almanac to make sure
1t wasn't the fourth of July, and then
he came down, looking mad. and
licked Bill like blazes. But bill said
he didn't care q cent, and the next
time he would sprinkle powder in his
hair, and bust his old frOntispiece of
of him.
DIR. Googies, he's nice enough
old feller. only he will sit and chew
gum drops right before US boys, and
never say stake some," once.
He wears green specs, and Bill Fer
guson he called him sold four eyes"
one day, which the doctor he heard
Bill say it, and he nailed Aim and
dragged him up to the desk, and then
he gave us lecture, and said there
was a boy he knew, and he was about
Bills size, who insulted gray-haired
old man, and called him wicked
names, and the next day-the very
next morning-the boys mother
died of indammatory rheumatism
and his sister broke out with bun
ions.
Bill, he cried, while the doctor
held him by the shirt collar, but he
winked at the boys as he came away.
and wrote on piece of paper, and
threw it over to me, that he thought
the doctor was ga blower" and he
darsent hit boy of his size.
Iwant some new books very much,
about ten of them, and they will cost
eight dollars. Please send the mon
ey for them. Don't send the books,
for the old doctor likes to buy them
here.
/ don't want any money for taffy
or marbles, for ] don't care about
them; but be sure not to send any
thing but the money for the books.
1 am in good health. was taken
sick last week, and had a sore eye
for few days, but it is now well.
We was playing mumbley out on
the grass, and Bill Ferguson he grab
bed nv knife. / told him he better
give that knife up or l would tell
you, and get you to lick him when
you came down, and he said he could
lick you and a dozen like you, and
then he dared me to knock chip off
his shoulder.
And Jake McGinnis, he pushed
me against him, and that knocked
the chip off, and Bill, he struck me
over the nose three or four times
and said he d "bust me on the snoot,"
IL / didn't dry up, for ! couldn't help
CRYING, and / was taken sick, and
could not go to school ell that day.
And the doctor, he locked Bill up
in the garret but he didn't care,
for he clumb out on the roof, and
was chasing around after tom csss,
up and down, almost all the morning,
ard pulling plastering ourot the
chimney to throw at people in the
street.
Give my love to all at home, and
don't forget the money for the books.
Bill is about fourteen; do you
think he can lick your 4
Please send the money, and believe |
me your affectionate son,
r. NJ. WILKINS.
P. S.-Do not forget to send the
money for those books.