The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1867-11-09
"Swells of the oceAn"-Midshipmen.

"Swels of the oceAn'-Midshipmen
He who tolls with pain will eat with pleasure
Ice is selling in Now Orleans at three dollars
per pound.
Who was Jonah's tutor? The whale who
brought him up
Missouri has 1850 Freemason. and GAG
lodges.
Beds of slaked lime are the latest Wisconsin
mineral discovery.
One lash TO a good horse; one word to a wise
man.
Why i. mouse like load of hay9 Because
the cat'll eat it.
The man who asks short question might not
perhaps, like short answer
When is a recruit supposed to be raw? Until
he has been exposed to fire.
Whist is told in the ear is often heard hun.
dred miIss.
There's pretty important difference between
a rich man and pursy one.
He who inpro a garden or farm generally
improves himself.
He spake well who said that little graves are
the footprints of angels.
Why is the early grass like penknife? Be-
cause the spring brings out the blades.
Why does brcklayer resemble bird? Be-
cause he has often raised wing and fue.
Two little boys in England have been sen.
fenced to six months imprisonment for stealing
six pears.
The good mans life, like the mountain top,
looks beautiful because it is near Ia heaven.
A woman lately died of cholera in New York.
after having drank fifteen bottles Of soda water
1t is easy to raise a standing army in peace,
but sometimes difficult to make it stand in war
The niece of the Postmaster General of the
Canadas recently outraged all considerations of
caste by clipping with banker.
Pack your cares in as small space as You
can, so that you can carry them yourself, and
not let them annoy others
man in Chicago reyengcd himself upon an
othec by biting OF the nose OF the latter as he
lay in drunken sleep.
Couldn't somebody invent soap which would
enable nammaS TO get their daughters off their
hands;
An exchange says that those who most fire.
quently visit the watering places in summer are
| the milkmen
If wicked people arc each others friends in the
next world, they must probably be very ,carm
| friends.
There are Is Methodist churches in Newark,
with over $500 members, where, in 1910, there
were but two churches.
A newspaper contains the following plaintive
advertisement: "Will the gentleman who stole
my cucumbers on last Sunday night be generous
enough to return me few Of the seeds, as they
are rare Variety"
Education begins the gentleman, but reading
good company and reflection must finish him.
il. A young man had better learn the qualitie.
of a belle before ringing her.
He who puts aside his religion because he i,
going into society, is like one taking off hi.
shoes because he is about to walk on thorns.
Mrs. Lewis, of Ohio, prepared her husband.
dinner with strychnine; an unexpected yisito,
ate it, and the result was unsatisfactory to all
but Mr.. Lewis
The afflicted heart complains less loudly in tn,
holy silence of the forest, as we are wont to low
er our voices when those around us speak ir
whispers.
The deepest grief doesn't always shed the mos
tears. Ulysses was very good husband, but hi
wept Cor his dog, and not for his wife.
l.. pr ,sperity we are apt to feel too independ
ent. 1t i, when we ,umble in dark and difficult
ways, beneath starless skies, that we feel anu
acknowledge the blessings Of Gods clear sunlight
A correspondent wants to know why an old
maid is like sucked orenge, and then has the
assurance to answer his own question by saying
| q &C 10