Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1867-04-30
HUMOROU US.
The Arkansaw Traveller.

approaching the capln OF squateEs "poUS
forty wears. ago, discovered the proprietor
seated on an.oid whisky barrel near the door,
partly sheltered by the ewes, playing fiddle,
when the following dialogue ensued-the
equatter still continuing toplay the same part
over and over: =
Traveller alIoo, stranger
Squatter-Hello yourself
T-Can get to stay all night with you2
S-You kin git to go to hill.
T-Have you any spirits here!
S-Lots of 'em. Sal saw one last night by
that thar ole heller gum and it nearly skeered
her to death.
T-YOu mistake my meaning have you
any liquor?
S-Had some yesterday, but Ole Boss he
got in and Tapped all Nv it out'n the pot.
T-You don't understand, I don't mean
pot liquor I'm wet and cold, and want some
whisky Have you got any?
Sob, yes-I drank the last this morn
ing.
TIN hungry, havn't had thing this
morning, can't you give me something to eat?
S-Haint a id thing inthe house. Not
q mouthful of meat, or dust of meal here.
T-Well, can't you give my horse some
thing?
Scot nothin' to feed him on
T-How far is it to the next house.
S-S:ranger, I don't know. I've never
been thar. :.
T-Wel, do you. know who lives here
ST do.
T-As am SO bold then, what might
your name be?
Sit might be Dick and it might be Tom,
brit it lacks id sight of it.
T. Sir, will you tell me where this road
=" goes to?
S. It's never beer anywhere since I've
been here; it's always thar when 1 git up in
the morning
T. Well, how far is it to where it forks !?
S. It don't fork at all, but it splits up
like the ID.
T. AS I'm not likely to get to any other
house tonight, can't you let ME sleep in
yours, and FL tie my horse to a tree, and do
without anything to eat or drink
8. My house leaks; thar's only one dry
spot in it, and Sal sleeps on it. And that
thar tree is the ole woman's persimmon you
can't tie to it ease she don't want UNI shuk
off. She lows to make beer out'n UNI.
T. Why don't you finish covering your
house and stop the leaks?
S. It's been raining all day.
T.. Well, why don't you do it in dry Wea-
Their?
s. 1t don't leak then.
T. AS there seems to be nothing alive
about your place but children, how do you do
here anyhow?
S. Putty we'll, thank you, how do you
do yourself?
I. What do you do for living her?
S. Keep tavern and sell whisky.
T. Well, I told you 1 wanted some
whisky.
S. Stranger, bought bar'l MORN a
week ago. You see me and Sal went shars
After ne got it here we only had drink be-
tweenst us, and Sal, she didn't want to use
hern tust, moi me mine. You see, 1 had a
spiggin in one eend, and she in tother. So
she takes drink out'n my eend, and pays me
the bit for it; then I'd take un out'n hern,
and give the bit. Well we's Citing along
fustrate, till Dick, id skulking skunk, he
bourn a hole on the bottom to suck at, and
the next time l went to. buy drink, they
wurnt none thar.
T. I'm sorry your whrsiy's all gone but
my friend. Why don't you play the balance of
tina; tune
T. 1 mean you don't play ,he whole Of it.
S. Stranger. can you play the 4F"t ?
7. Yes, 4 little, sometimes.
S. You don't look like fddlur but eff
you can play any more onto that thar chunc
you kin just git down and try.
(The traveller gets down and plays the
whole of IT'D
S. Stranger, take half dozen cheers and
sot down Sal, stir yourself round like six
horse team in mud hole. Go round in the
.holter where 1 killed that buck this mornin',
cut off some of the best pieces, and totch it
and cook it for me and this gentleman, direct
". Raise up the board under the head of
the bed, and git the ole black jug hid from
Dick, and give us some whisky; [ know thar's
some left yit. I'll, drive ole Bose outn the
bread tray, then cline up in the loft, and git
the m thut'S cot he ShuU1T- tied in II Dick
carry the gentleman's boss round under the
shed, give him some fodder and corn, much
as he kin eat.
Til. Dad, they amt knives enouff. to set
the table
S. Whar's big butch, little butch, old
case, cob-handle, granny's knife and the one
I handled yesterday That's euuff to set
any gentleman's table without you've lost um
D-n ME, stranger eff you can't stay as long
as you please, and I'll give you plenty to eat
and drink. Will you have coffee for supper?
.. Yes, sir
s. l be banged eff you do tho we don't
have nothin' that way here, but Grub Hyson,
and | reckon it's mighty good with sweetun'.
Flay away. stranger, you can sleep on the dry
spot to night
I. CATER about two hours fddling) My
friend can't you tell me about the road m to
travel tomorrow
S. Tomorrow Stranger you won't git
Out'n these diggins for six weeks, BIT when
it gifts so you kin start you see that big sloo
over thar? Well, you have to git cross that,
then you take the road up the bank, and in
about a mile you'll come to two acre and
half corn patch, the corn's mitely in the
weeds, but you needn't mind that, Just ride
on. About mile and half from there you
will come to the d-dest swamp you ever
IL ~, oil