The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1867-05-09
From All the Year Round
FreddY's Aunt.

from All the Year Round
Freddy's Aunt.
''You are the luckiest fellow in the world
Freddy, said /, fingng back letter. witt
that smile of sour congratuiation which
greets friend good fortune.
Gone of them," said Freddy, modestly
crumpling up the letter. and stuf1ing its en-
closure-a bank bill for three hundred
pounds-into his waistcoat pocket with pro
voking indifference.
cat what do you return this model rela
tive of yours in your income-tax p asked
spitefuly.
''You have probably noticed, from time
to time, Acknowledgements on the part of the
financial executive" said Freddy, fsup
posed arrears at impost
''Regarding them as pleasant fictiops in
tended strictly to vary the stern monotony
of official returns, l never thought of them
as originating with yoU."
''Right, my friend, y said Freddy. eff the
income tax of the considerations citizen be
in arrear, they are rogues, if not idiots.
hatter myself | am neither; | simply &C
cept the goods the gods, by the hand of
Miss Sympleson, provide me- and, | assure
that is no bad addition to my little profes-
sional income"
(Which must be at least double that
sum, said |, " it'll an envious glance at the
corpuIept briefs that covered the office
table.
''About, replied Freddy. cor say three
hundred more. I'm doing very fairly"
''Ahem I" said |. Your aunt must be
delighted at your SUGGEST"
my dear fellow exclaimed Freddy,
'she doesn't know; [ would not have her
enlightened for the world"
''That is, not for thousand a Year,"
muttered.
Fred was good fellow, and an old friend;
but there was something in the aspect Of
his character now presenting itself that did
not harmonic with the old Impressions 1t
seemed as if my friend had insulted himself,
and felt inclined to ask him what he meant
by it.
''She is very peculiar woman, that aunt
of mine" resumed Freddy, liberal of advice,
and (Which is rare) of money to enforce the
same. should deprive the kind soul of the
two master pleasures of her life were | to
let her into the secret that | want neither
her counsel or her cash"
''It is very kind of you And it is satisfac-
tory to see that, in this case, at least, virtue
brings its own reward .
Come, said, Fred, ingenuously, 81 won't
take more credit than | deserve Let it be
a warning to you, young man, to avoid du-
plicity, even for the worthiest ends, when
confess that from tacitly acknowledging the
acceptability Of my aunt's donations, | have
drifted into the deeper guilt Of counting,
nay sir, Of demanding them"
81 am sorry TO hear it. Dillingham; said
|, glo0mily, al would not hear thy enemy
say So
"Tweak his nose, if you should" said
Fred. ''He couldn't know it, except from
myself or you iou, | know, will he close
as wax, and, by and by, if, at any time, a
few hundreds"
excuse me- Mr.. Bulliugham," I replied
''If, as you observe, | resemble wax in its
consistency, | do not in its malleability.-
The source Of those few hundreds is too pol
luted to"
''Bosb! Your Grandmother" said Freddy,
laughing heartily. Now look, George, my
boy. Tell me, what could do? My dear
aunt has passion for giving COUNSEL"
Fleeing it you mean,' said [.
''Ha, ha! And the more interesting and
perplexing the question, the better she is
pleased. You can understand that life
like mine offers few situations of romantic
difficulty. Consequently, the tightness of
the incident market has more than once
compelled me to resort to the realm of fic-
ton for mysterious ENHANCEMENT, pic
turesque anxiety, dramatic temptation, or
SO. You probably were not aware that
was offered the hand of Mexican princess,
with dowry of ten thousand million mil
era, Ga milera is about the hundredth part
of a shilling, but my aunt would not know
that on condition that | should wear the
massive nose ring distinction of the connec-
tiOns ofthe blood royal"
''You forgot to mention the circumstan-
ces to me" | said dryly Il thought that
the government of Mexico was repub-"
$50 did |" said Freddy, ''till had occa-
sion to establish the empire. Perhaps you
never heard the duke of Wellington, when
appealed to as to who would succeed to the
woosack, in the event of sudden vacancy,
replied, in his curt manner, Fred Bulling.
ham,
''No; certainly never did" l said, en-
phatically.
Nor |, }" he rejoined, 81 only said it."
But, ell! Sure y these are"
pretty stiff" said Fred with perfect
GOODNESS. ''Well, they are. But my aunt
was equal to them. give you my honor
that on neither of these occasions was | ac-
tuated by any avaricious motive. You may
see that they offer no apparent pretext for a
present. But my aunt is as ingenious as
myself The marriage Pigment produced q
check for five hundred, the largest I ever
received. Never, wrote the old lady, never
may live to see your nose,-my nose,
may call 1.-THE Bullingham nose,-dis
houored by the barbarous trinket that is Il
accompany this girls hand. Reject the
sayage's proposal While have shilling
you shall share it"
''Iou took the check ?'
'7Of course l did," said Freddy. 9Th
second case produced only two hundred. NJ
aunt entirely conceded in the dukes opin
ior, aud, thinking might require a fey
new law books bearing on the duties of tb
woolsaek, such, perhaps, as the Lord Chan
cellor's Pocket Companion the Judgmen
Dictionary, Chancery in a Nutshell, &c
kindly enclosed the amount have named