Wyoming democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Wyoming Co., Pa.) 1867-1940, 1867-09-11
Radicalism Run Mad.

tag and bobtail elements of all creation
gathered in one incongruous mass, whose
only cohesive quality is bigoted fanat-
ical hatred of Democrats and democratic
principles And whose one idea is that
they are the saints, the party of progress,
intelligence, purity and piety.
This spiritualistic convention was call
ed to order by R.. P. Ross, Esq. chairman
of Republican--not radical al--county stand
ing committee. After little fllbuster-
ing, in which outsiders, including the Rev.
Jakey, participated, Mr.. Ross assumed the
Presidential chair-ad interim. The i'm
peachers forthwith made an attempt to
impeach the president and drag him down
from his high estate. This was manfully
resisted by the Admlnistl alton party.
Richard was all himself. He had exchang-
ed his kingdom for the presidential horse.
He was determined to exhibit his
equestrian skill on that pony, despite all
the secret, oath-bound organizations in
the County. Dick showed that he had
been drilled in the dragons. and notwith-
standing the loud and hoarse believing
of the bull.baggers" from Northumberland
and Eaton, kept his seat undismayed.
One of these chaps that in financial circles
sometimes plays hob with the bears, and
whose "tightness' has become proverbial,
just at this point was troubled with a
looseness and offered $40 for three min
utes speech lie declared that all the
Templars were drunk and would doubtless
have secured silence Except sound of
gurgliug fuids,) if instead of the $40, he
had offered his private bottle; but the rul-
ing passion was too strong with him for
that.
"The good old Elisha" about this time
began to see snaiks ''copperheads" Of every
imaginable shape size and hue were
looming up to his diseased vision: In or
der to secure security, these venomous rep
til es m1st be banished the house. Every
loyal man felt bound to vote against ''sar-
pints"--The house was cleared, leaving
none but the creme de Ia creme inside OF
this golden circle. (The proceedings from
this time to the opening Of the doors again,
were of that knownothing close commun-
ion, dark lantern, loyal league, character
which is peculiar to the party of progress
r, finement and civilization; and which pro.
fame pens,are not allowed to portray.) Eli
sha. though charged with being wooden
nutmeg state-man, Indignantly denied the
imputation. We could hardly trust oul
of these pure men that some of the sacret
band had been guilty of fraud and corrup
ton. These charges were so numerous
from so many sources and so persistently
reiterated, that, though we have but little
faith in what they say, we began to have
faint suspicion that there might be som,
truth in their assertions.
A committee to investigate frauds anG
decide upon credentials was appointed du
ring the secret session. One Joseph, Me.
hoopanyite, who for many months pas
had been making determined fight fol
the nomination, on casting about found
that he was not like Joseph of old a ruler II
the land. Benjamin and Samuel had com,
down with him to seek the flesh pots o
Egypt. These three hungry children
struggled hard to get morsel for them.
selves or for their famishing father Jakey
They were sent back empty. Farewell
Joseph, a long farewell to all your great
ness!
After the lapse of an hour or more tn,
"pizen' which had infused itself into tn,
Delegates having subsidized, the doors were
opened and the nomination for Represents
tive was made. Ziba Lott, who it wa:
charged, had run on both the wet and dry
sides, on the tempcranceiquestion, but whc
was known to be most in favor of mois
ture, was nominated on the first ballot
The thirsty RAIDS. made his nomination
unanimous Jakey had been rather too
"suddent" they thought in turning the
spiggot on them. Cold water wasn't con
sidered a healthy beverage. Jakey was
thought 10 have call to preach the mig
ger and him crucifed Building a monu-
ment to the virtues OF the departed Afri
can deserter was thought to be a proper
business for him. He was consigned to
cold water and dead nigger, without q
pang of regret for the present, throb
of sympathy fer the past, or smile of
hope for the future-Good bye, Jake!
For County Commissioner there seemed
to be great dearth of candidates. Col
Marcy was brought out by Elisha in a
neat and complimentary speech but the
| Col was too old bird tn he caupht He