Mineral Point weekly tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1859-1868, 1867-02-27
g TT Il II II a s. * E II

A +" LOVERS DICTIONARY is just
published
THE consumptive man has one ad,
vantage. He always keeps hack,
A CoDFtsH breakfast and an India
rubber overcoat will keep a man dry
all day.
THE tobacco-chewer is said to be
like a goose IN a Dutch oven-always
on the spit.
SOLOMON advises the sluggard to 20
TO the aunt, bat the shiftless in our
days generally go to their uncle.
WHY are hot buckwheat cakes like
a caterpillar? Because they are the
grub that makes the butterfly.
A LITTLE FIVE year old hearing the
text given out at church And the
child waxed strong" asked: g Father,
how did they wax him 2"
y NEW PILL has been invented it
is made of India rubber. One box
cures a cold and renders your oyercoat
impervious to water.
SAL" said one girl to another.
4" / am so glad | have no beau now T.
:. Why so?" asked the other. "Oh,
because / can eat as many onions as l
please"
A POET intended to say, See the
pale martyr in a sheet of fire instead
of which the printer made him say,
q See the pale martyr with his shirt
on fire y
A LITTLE girl in a public school,
being asked in the course of her ge-
ography lesson what a waterfall was,
replied, hair wrapped around dads
old stocking"
WHY is a darkey with &" no hair on
the top Of his head like a rejected
candidate for admission to a lodge of
Ola Fellows? Because he Is black
bald individual.
Il CANNOT bear children" said Miss
Prim disdainfully. Mrs. Partington,
looking over her spectacles mildly.
replied, " Perhaps if YOU could you
would like them better"
4 BoARDER at a hotel, on being asked
ho~ they lived there, replied that the
hash was rather doubtful, but the beef
was bully" The dubious indorse-
ment failed TO attract new boarder
SSooKs says the words " No Cards .
are affixed TO marriage notices because
the parties played all their cards be-
fore marriage. This IS a new theory,
and will be generally accepted.
some Young ladies were discussing
how they should get rid Of lot OF
their old hoop-skirts, when a three
year old girl suggested, d" Glib EN- to
me and I'll frow EN- down into Uncle
Wobberts' we'll"
HENRY WARD BEEcHER thanks God
that he was never able to smoke a
whole cigar, ard thinks that any
Young man who does not use tobacco
in any form has right to say: I
have badge of honor"
IT IS related of two Scotch minis
ters that the one asked the other II
he was not sorely tempted at times
. 10 20 ASi4lAlG OAI taiC h1uaAtttf 1ANC-
moons. 30, mon,' replied his fellow
laborers Il am never tempted lang.
l just gang.
4 GENTLEMAN was walked IN the
night, and told that his wife was
dead He turned over, drew the
coverlid closer, pulled down his night
cap. and muttered as he went to
sleep again: All now grieved | shall
be in the morning = Cool-very-
Punch has picture representing
+ fashionable young couple, the husband
searching vigorousl, in his waistcoat
pocket The wife inquiries. Have
YOU lost your watch, love? and he
replies: '' No. dear, twas new bon
net I had for you, somewhere
Why don't YOU get married.? saic
a young lady the other day to bach
elor friend. 8 have been trying fol
the last ten years TO fnd some ont
/ silly enough to have me" was the re
ply. Il guess you haven't been VI
our wav." was the insinuatins re