Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1867-07-20
Why Don't They Propose.

SdppiuS tHc stTeuStH Of ear Hattuudl
existence. Like the worms in oar
wharves and piers, it is undermining
the very foundation of modern society
We allude to the fact that young men
who glory in a perfect manhood (this
constituting their only wealthy had
rather face the lannon's mouth than
the matrimonial alter. Every sensible
young man beginning the world for
himself says; 81 cannot afford to hang
a milestone around my neck ;" so he
fits around among his femaie acquaint.
ances like bee 10 clover field, sip
ping little honey here aud there, dust
ing his feet with precious pollen, while
the years slide away, and old Time with
his sickle mows the hair off the top of
his head, and sets the crows feet in the
corner of his eyes, and chips away his
handsome ivory, and spriEkles his bean
tiful beard with hoar frost \ desper-
ate battle is being fought, but the strong
est man is only mortal, whilst time is
eternal. So some fine morning God
help him y he wakes up and finds him
self middle,aged man, with no sweet
voice to lisp "Papa," no soul companion
to smooth the stony track down the
vale of years. Alone, Homeless ! His
life boat ahoat on the great ocean Of
time, outside the glimmering of friend
! ly beacon lights, outside the hope even
of reaching the harbor in safety He
has outlived every innocent, youthful
pleasure; he has ascended the last
round in the ladder of dissipation he
has tasted the fruit of every forbidden
tree. Everything pals upon his weary
worn senses. He has squeezed every
particle of juice out of the orange OF
life, and there is nothing left but the
bitter peel, Shiny seeds. The very
foundation of sorrow is uprocted in our
bosom when we contemplate this frac-
tion of a family-this lonely, blaze man
If he has accumulated wealth by this
time, so much the worse for him for
in order to prevent any sudden surprise,
he is tortured by being obliged to sleep
upon his arm. 1t is true he can tuv a
wife now, but it is the ordering dinner
for an invalid; the appetite is gone.
Dear old bachelor, rich or poor, there is
terrible mistake somewhere, and you
are the victim, and must pay the pen
atty with price ten thousand times the
value of Shylock's pound of flesh
namely, a wasted, dissatisfied life.
What man, with the ordinary, aver
age amount of intellect allotted to hu
manity, would dare to marry modern
young lady, such as make up our board
ing schools-yea, such as the great
majority comprise
DO not think, pretty little good for
nothing rose buds, that We blame you
Who would be so silly as to expect you
to leave your downy pillows and sweet
dreams, and 60 into the kitchen and
put your rosy finger tips into that sticky
dough?' We know the cook left with
out any warning, but "mamma" can do
it. Why rot? Is she not the self elect
ed chief servant of the household? We
don't expect you to arise, and with hair
tucked behind those dainty, shell-ltke
ears, with real roses in your cheeks, and
long, broad apron before that neat
chintz gown, take tired mammals place
and see that breakfast is all right for
papa" and all the household. Unless
baby in long clothes, you are not to
blame for shrinking from everything
disagreeable. Has not mamma tried
her best to spoil you, and if she has not
admirably succeeded, can it be said to
be her fault? Has she not carefully in.
fused into your young, tender mind,
that you were made of a substance a
little more ethereal and sublimated than
herself? In her longings after the ideal,
has she not taken you as sacrifice to
the altar, even as Abraham did Isaac !?
But in place of ram, tied by the horns,
she expects to find rich husband.
Pretty dove! Your eyes may be the
buest, your lips twin cherries, your feet
the tiniest that ever kissed the pave
ment, and yet your mother will say,
"Why don't they propose?''
Every sensible, marriagable young
man says he cannot marry your mother
at the same time that he does You; con-
sequently, as he cannot afford an les
tablishment," there will be no one to
see that the house is in order. the
dinner properly cooked, the stockings
darned-in fact, he sees no way of
plucking out of the domestic household
all that is hard and disagreeable, leaving
only bed of down.
If by any unforeseen academia young,
tender plant is transplanted to "home
of her own oh, fairy godmotber, come
with your magic wand, for the time has
come, above all others, when your SER
vices are sorely needed. Poor little
bird, trying to fly with her unfedged
wings. Sent out into the battle of life
without the slightest armor of expert
ence, with no weapon upon earth ex-
oept her husbands love; and though
this, in the beginning, may be strong
as Damascus blade, the crushing
weight that is sometimes brought to
rest upon it will make it snap like a
ships spar in a hurricane gale.
Oh, that the mistaken parents eve
will spare them any harsher names),
the true authors of all this misery,
could look down the long vista of years
aud see the harvest of bleeding hearts,
shattered hopes aud dskeleton fears which
they were the meaus of sowing broad.
cast. but which ripens in to-day's sun
only to blight and mildew other homes