American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1867-09-18

The nightcap would be the cap of
liberty--if it were not for curtain leo>
lures. ~.
Don't fret on account Of your banky
ruptcy. Your creditors will do it for
you. 4rJL iTLETUrIfr
Our veracity is reckoned BY what
flows from the mouth, while our votacity
by the amount We put in it. .h
Better have nest of wasps, or bum
BILE bees, or hornets in your bosom, than
q singing conscience.
"A woman may speak as many tongues
as she win, but don't let her do it with
too long one of her own. r9 r1rI
-"Ah Pal" said dis contente d h cd
carrior, "don't take up this mode Of life.
1t has too many ups and downs in it,"
1t is less important to young lady
that her lovers diamonds should be Of
pure water than that his drink should be.
What is the difference between a
church organst and the inauenzaY One
stops the nose, and the other knows the
stops. #3H .3Igf fHJ
AN editor in Minnesota is determ-
ined to break up housekeeping and go
boarding with his delinquent subscribers
the remainder Of his life.
"A darkey's instruction for putting
on coat were, "Fust de right arm, den
de lef, aud den glib one general conwul-
shun' t#a" arrE
The correct answer to the gentleman
who wrote the song, "Why did Marry p
most likely would be, Because your wife
was foolish"
"A man who has addressed stran-
ger by mistake, apologies by saying, "I
was mistaken in the person" Many
married couple might make the same
apology to each other. ........
-" The law" said Judge Ashurst, in
charge sis open to a II men, to the poor
as well as the rich" 80 is the London
Tavern" added Horne Tooke, who was
present.
"A youngster, four years old, being
asked by bis parents if he lad said his
prayers at. night, during his absence from
home replied, "No, but counted hun
dred p ......
An Irishman who was repIieved as
he stated, the night before his execution,
aud who wished to get rid of lis wife,
wrote to her as follows: II was yester.
day hanged, and died like a hero do as
I did, aud bear it like man"
-" Can you tell me how the word sa~
LOON ia spelt 2" was asked of cockney
by qulzzical fellow Certainly" said
the Lond oner, with look OF triumph,
" there 8 hess, and hay, and hell,
and two hoes, and hen" .r.t
WEDDINGS One month from mar.
riage makes a sugar wedding; one year
makes a paper wedding; five years a
wooden wedding; ten years tin we'd
ding twenty Five years silver wedding;
fifty years golden wedding and sev.
enty Eve years a diamond wedding
ON LOCOMOTIVE.
Collisions four
Or FIVE she borej
The signals were id vain;
Grown o!d and rusted,
Her biler busted,
And smashed the excursion train.
A POSER" Ma" snid an inquisitivs
little girl, will rich and poor people live
together when they go to heaven 2"
Yes, my dear, they will be all the
same there"
"Then Ma, why don't rich and poor
Christians associate here"
The mother did not answer.
A traveller, being at cofe.heusc
with some gentlemen, was largely draws
ing on the credulity of the company
Where did you say all these wonders
happened sir 2" asked gentlemen pres
ent. 6 can't exactly say" replied the
traveller shut somewhere on the cont,
nent Russia, think 81 should rath.
er think H-a-ly," returned the other.
"A man of property, whose health
happened to give way under long contin.
ued intemperance, consulted DR.. g., who
said, 81 can cure you if yca do as / bid
you" His patient promised obedience.
Now" said the doctor, "you must steal
horse. Yes-you must steal horse.
, You will be arrested, convicted, and
placed in situation where your diet and
} regimen will be such that in short time
your health will be perfectly restored"
"A traveller stopped at public house
in Maine for the purpose Of getting din
; ner, knocked but received no answer
Going in he found little white headed
man in the embrace of his wife, who had
his head under her arm, while with the
other she was giving her lord pounding.
Wishing to put an end to the fight, our
traveller Knocked on the table, and called
out in loud voice, 6 Halo, there! who
keeps this house ?" The husband, tho
much out of breath, answered "Strao-
ger, that's what we are trying to decided"
AFAsT BEARDs--Three brothers, bear-
{ ing remarkable resemblance to one s..o>
, other, are in the habit of shavinr at tha
t ssme barber.shop. Not long ago. one of
t the brothers entered the she,p early in the
> morning, and was shaved by German
: who had been at wei.k in the shop only
? for day or two About noon another
: brother came in aud underwent similar
I operation s.I the hands Of the same bar
Der. Ia the evening the third brother
maze his appearances, when the German
q S,rnppad HIS raznr in aatonia hrnant and