The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1867-03-25

eye LOCALS PoLLY-TICKs.'- THE ia
cetious "Local " of the Atlanta Era dis
courseth on his political status:
Our P0HicS.-If we have been asked
once we have been asked hundred times
during the week what is our political sta
tus. The downright absurdity Of the thing
induces US to define our position.
We have nopolitics. A local editor has
no more use for politics than hog has for
the 4th Of July, or . bull has for gad-tiles.
He has no use for politics OF any other
ticks, except the one on which no gets his
tobacco, or one containing about thirty
five pounds Of feathers, to rest on when he
is tired. Politics why, the thing is as
dangerous to him as pet rattlesnake or a
hornet-nest q la chapeaa.
A local editor is expected to be every
body's friend. He can't be that and have
any politics. lie had as well try to stand
in a hollow without having hill on either
side Of him. He must attend all meetings,
political or otherwise, and be immensely
enthusiastic on every occasion. He can't
do that when it goes against the grain, un-
less he is o hypocrite, and we scorn the
imputation that implies the latter. No,
sirs! he must ship! hip" with this party,
and "hurrah" with that one, He must
applaud Jones for bullying Smith, and
praise Smith when he knocks the props
from under Jones.
A good local editor, in addition to a
thousand other qualifications, must be a
good diplomatist. He must engineer his
way among all parties and creeqe. -
must keep off Of party cogBs ~. -.
how good a platforu, NO ndtCci
corny toes ths' may De, tnele o..
not ster ;. stand upon 1t. de must
ON these, or he is gone up.
We hope the men who SO universally put
such difficult questions to US will see the
absurdity of the thing, and do so no more.
We must move around after items, must
attend all gatherings, would visit the
"Ieaguen meetings if we had free
ticket on the underground railroad, but
we beg and implore the induigent, dear
generous, excellent, inquisitive public Y
spare us all hard questions, Tor we de
assure them that politics is as scarce witt
us as Mr.. Spinner's autographs, the las
one of which latter articles, in beautiiu
legibility on our last fifty cents change Dill
squirms In our dilapidated pocket-boo
every time we look in the meal barrel W.
keep for FORMS sake in our pantry.
While we Indignantly eschew politics
we are particularly fond Of politicians and
political meetings. One of the latter is a.
good as circus any time. We like to
neaF men speak at such meetings-praise
,ne american eagle, which they could
hardly distinguish from turkey blizzard
wan. W sec nm perch on the top OF per
s sim ,, tree and dip one wing in the roll
,.s a Asia as e. and the other In the PLACID
man in Office who wants to hold one. ";
have heard men on such occss,on. w
eouid not buy pint of COOLERS on cred al
laad the great Magma Charter which Give
protection to property. Then we alWay
feel as II we ought to be politician. an
talk too. But we are not one. No. sirs
We don't want any office. We see i
use In any office except ticket offices, pos
offices, and printing offices. Sheriff's an
bailiff's offices ought to be declared pc
'se!'y vacant. They are continually q