The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1867-06-27
PosT-oFFIs, CoNFEpRIT Y ROADS,
(wich is in the Stait Nv Ky..)

I
Julc !, 1861
The Corners wuz in most pleasant frame NV
mind last Friday mite. So important q event ez
the release NV our saintid Davis Good not be al
lowed to 90 by without commemorative, and we
accordinly commemorate. The rejoicins wuz
held at the Church. tho they commenst at Bas-
CONS. Ez the heftiest part nv the rejOicin he'd
bin done at Bascom's, taperin Off, cz | may say,
at the Church, the speeches were very short, ef
not to the pint. When, how, or wher 1t adjourn
ed, know not. / wandered orf into the realms
NV Morphus in the middle Nv Deekin Pograms
sekondly, and aiore | got back he'd taken
rather long journey.
l dreemed very curi5 dream. MethOught |
wuz in the regions that are populerly supposed to
| lay below us. Onto his burning throne sOt Luc-
| fer readm in Moo York IrlbOOn, with the
most puzzled expression onto his face ever wit
| nest Layin it down with sigh, ez tho he he'd
| gone bumpin onto Il sumner Wich he Good not
comprehend, he remarkt, sadly ITO bizniz -
aud demanded NV his book keeper, the sitooashen
of things. Reports were read to him, which, ip
! the main pleased him. \ shade NV sadnss be-
! clouded his classikle countenance ez the state
mept that NapOlean and BiZmark he'd made up,
| but his face ILLUMINATED serenely G2 it wuz statld
that the christian nashens had decided to let
the Turks 90 on butcherin the Cretans. wich wuz
replaced with a frOwn when he wuz informed
that there wuz prospcck NV the English COM
rest NV the world, the United States come in.
"Kentucky," sed the book-keeper, lookin over
O bundle NV fresh reports, lis all rite Helm is
elected Governor by a whackin majority, and
Mckee and Rice is defeetid."
Good !" sGd he, ietchn his tail down in a
ecstacy Nv joy, ''the next time | swing arou..d
the circle mu st visit Kentucky. No State does
so well for me with so little Nv my assistance.
alluz like to visit Kentucky. Moo York city is
ruther pleasant, tho Its so near like my own place
that | don't enjoy it much when I'm there. l
don't feel ez tho I'm away from home and visit
in. But Kentucky love-the people reely charm
me. But 90 on, wat next?
"Jef son Davis hez bin LIBERATED by Horris
Greeley becomin his bale. This bale-in by Gree
ley, the reporter, stashened at WashintOn, con-
siders most mOmenchus event, and most hap
by okkurrence for yoor majesty.
THAT reporters ass and don't know the Sc
cret springs wich actOoate men. Recall him to-
wunst for making sich foolish remark"
'But," sed the Sekretary, who seemed to me to
be imp NV some conscience, to be permitted TO
argoo with Lucifer hesself II consider it Nv lm-
portance Do 700 wish jeff son Davis to die IN
prizen ?"
EFF yoo wusn't Nv deslded yoose to me hevln
bin a Moo York Alderman, I'd TedO0se yOo.
Want jeff son Davis to die? NotI I'm not the
yooth wot killed the goose w0t laid the golden
egg. He's bin the best recrootin lootenant ever
he'd. He hez the happy knack Nv controllu
everybody he hez anything to do with, and he
turns en- all to'ard me, lie rooined Polk, he
, swampt Pierce, and seedoOst BOokannan, he daz-
zled johnson, and he hez now caught Horris
Greeley But ther wuzn't any danger Nv his dylr
3 in priZen Men aint in the habit Nv dying or
panned oysters, briled beelsteal and milk toast
they hev q trick Nv peggn out faster on die
suthin the opposite NV that; for Instance the va
rety that jeff son fumsht en- at AndersonVllle
He wood hey got out any how. johnson Is, atte
, | all, poor white man. and he Good bully them u
'' that class well enough, but he felt ashamed u
= keepin a real gentleman like Davis In prison, and
he wood hev releast him."
"she put Horris down on our books?' ask
= the Secretary eagerly, dipping his pen INTO Dlo'
} flame ez Hertzog does In the Black Crook.
: "Iet us consider!" sed Luclfer musingly,
4 "Wat has he did p
D ''Bailed JEFF son Davis !" returned the Sekre
! tary. confidently givin his pen fresh dip.
,, ''Very good. HOrris hez made Nv hsself. U
) speak fggeratively, post for drove Nv hogs u
scratch themselves agin. They are scramblln ou
! nv the slough NV secession in which they wallere
@ till the droppin out NV the bottom made It dal
gerous they find HOrris standln on the banl
and agin him they rub their sides to clean OIL th
' mud wich adheres. lspeak figgeratiyely IN llk'
min Horris to post literally In likenln the 81
= cesh to swine. They wuz Jest ez senseless an
iest ez croOel. They wuz the Wuns aiOre vic
pearls wuz cast.
81 hev lest finisht his defence of hlsself. It's
curious dokeyment and puzzles me- I'm dispo
ed TO consider him honest, but wat week shoV
In he makes. First he sez he's honest, wch
alluz agin man, for trooly honest man kin q
luz find enuff Others to say itfor him I'd, he tri
to prove it, wich is very bad, for the honesl
lg wich needs proyin Is of rather scaly order II
nd instances his spiln his chances for the SENT Ia
to fall by wrtin that universal amnesty letter. Ho
ris, in this matter is, / fear, playin ostrich, /
q hez his head in the sand, aud bein blind hisse
81 ianoies the balance NV his antomikle strukte
wich ought to be in the background, amt vsib
to the rest NV mankind. Or he Is reely a looni
tic! 1 never he'd any idea that he wanted u
seat in the SENT. He wuz in Congris wunst, an
) the terrible ialeyoor he made ther, wood, CT
wuz conshus Nv it, hev deferred him from seek
70 that pertlckeler place agn Then ef he wuz re
ly cOmpos meHts, he wood hev knowd, or ought
- hev knowd, that he hadn't the ghost NV q chant
'ro for the place, and coodent hev got 1t ct he III
"0 written letter urgin the hangin NV every rebe