The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1867-05-31
M1SCELLAN EOTS.

| GAIT hlvcr to the Holy Land, and
/ print it in his now novel;
! A deaf man in Saganaw Mich,
has leased a haunted house. Hard
on the spirits.
The heaviest tax on the country
is the tax on its patience imposed
by radical extremists.
\ notorious male hirt at last mar
ried. Now my DEAR said his
wife, II hope you'll quit your tri-
fling and foolish ways Madam,
said he, "my marriage shall be my
last folly.
A man came home drink on a cold
night and vomitcd in basket con-
tanning goslings, which his wife had
placed before the fire, upon seeing
which he exclaimed: "my God, wife,
when did | swallow them things?'
1t was formerly said there was ga
skeleton in every house, now their
name is Legion in every clothes
clOset
Whyis a generous man apt to be
good Christian? Because he is
for-giving.
Men arc more mindful of wrongs
than of benefits.
Honolulu dispatches announce
the death of the famous Colonel
Caesar kaluakach chukuakauhanuapa-
Observation-Disclosures
cikapapaakeo--Continued in our
next.
One Of our exchanges says a man
''blew out bis brains after bidding
his wife goodbye with shot gun.
Philip Rcardon sucked alcohol
from a barrel on ono of the Boston
wharvcs on Saturday until he be-
came so drunk that he died A
great moral idea.
The Boston Advertiser thinks
beef hasn't been so high as now
since the COW jumped over the moon.
The 'oldest inhabitant" who is
fond of taking something through
straw, predicts that we are going to
have very hot summcr-and
"dry" one
':Ma,' said a little girl to her
mother, edo the men want to get
married as much as tho women do?"
'Pshaw what arc you talking
about - "Why, ma, the women
who come here are always talking
about getting married-the men
don't.'
MAY your whole family bc jam
med into one cotfn,' is an express
i've Chinese oath.
Thad. Stevens luggage: one doz-
en- cotton shirts, TIVE pairs of flannel
drawers, six pairs Of stockings, an
ovcrcoat, and a tun of curses.
The empress Eugcnlc is not
as has been reported.
The great chess player Bonfls is
dead--made his last move.
Butler is now shaking Ford's diary
at the impeachment committee, and
hopes to make noise with it.
II. Rivcs Pollard threatens to de-
liver his lecture on "The Chivalry
Of the South" in Russian America,
where there is no military despotism.
A man once standing in a desert
picked up jewel end threw it away
saying, "Pshaw, It's only "a dia-
mond. thought and hoped it was
a grain of corn
Almost every young lady is public
spirited enough to have her fathers
house used as a court house.
The death of one person from the
pork disease, in Springfield, has
caused the people there to abondon
pork, pretty generally. A dozen
deaths from rum wouldn't frighten
half SO much; nor damage the trade
in the least.
At fashionable dinner, a gentle
man observed a person who sat OPP
posite use Il toothpick which had
just done the same service to his
ncighbor. Wishing to apprise him
Of his mistake, he said, Il beg your
pardon, sir, but you are using MIR.
IS tonthpick" p" Il know / am.
by the powers, sir, do you think /
am not going to return it !"
Fourth If July orators will have
nothing to say about the "tax-rid-
den people Of the old world
A friend Of ours, visiting neigh
Dor, found him disabled from having
a horse step upon his foot. Hob
bling out of the stahle, the, sufferer
explained how itnaPpencd. II was
standing here, - said he, land the
horse brought his foot right down
on mine. Our friend looked at
the injured member, which was of
the No. II pattern, and said, very
quietly, well, tho horse must
step somewhere. y
EDo Won bn1;nvo in fhn ,nncor