The Hancock Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Ohio) 1857-1870, 1867-03-08
Ethel was nothing to me--nothing.

paS- S-p'iHotpit ittsObS, tb ieusti lOI
my marrying Marian; and as had
made the bargain I would keep it. /
had perfect confidence that my wife
would do her part ' She had always
commanded my respect but love-
that is quite another affair For as
the poet, the greatest poet Of our
day, say: .........
'.IIow is II under our control
...H To love or not to lovri r.
But we got along pretty we'll to-
gether-- Marian and /. Our life,
locked at by itself, was not so very
miserable; but compared with the life
that might have been mine with Eth
cl, 1t was not life at all. Still IL went
on, ana kept its even tenor. The
passing days brought with them what
are considered pleasures-for me, ]
hardly found them pleasures at all.
The passing days brought with them
no acute pain; there was only a dull
aching at my heart-a void that
nothing was likely to fill. l supposed
| had lorg"tten Ethel. ..
But found that / had not; and
found it out on the morning that we
sat at breakfast togcthcr--Marian
and las | said at the beginning of
these words ] am writing.
Marian knew nothing about her;
she had scarcely heard her name;
and ii by chance she should hear it,
she knew of.no reason for Keeping IL
from me My wife reads the Morn
ing Post, daily ut breakfast time; and
she tells me some Of its contents as |
dawdle over my coffee. On the
morning Lam speal<ing-of, -she read
two or three paragraphs to me. The
last she read happened to be the first
that caught my attention, twas the
Iollowing: .... .....
1--WE understand that a marriage
has been arranged between Captain
Cecil, of the llOth regiment, son Of
Bernard Cecil, Esq, Of Boddington
Park, Bucks, and MISS Ethel Webbe,
only daughter of 'Algernon Webbc,
Esq, OF Inverness Terrace, Hyde
Park. ITO 81
The sudden mention of her name,
and the Intelligence that accompa-
MED it, made my heart stop beating
at first, and ule,l set 1t tbrobbing
with rush OF blood to my cheek and
brow. Ny wife Looked at me, and
atterwatd looked at my wife. She
must have read the story in my face
at that moment. ieit that my old
love for Ethel was confessed, obvi.
Gus, undcniable.
But what was there to desire to
deny? A man seldom inarres the
first woman for whom he cares. A
mans wife will think no worse for
him wien she knows he had other
attachments; but then these attach.
ments should not be lasting. Your
wife will scarcely care even to pity
your queen dethroned; butif, in your
lnmost heart, that queen reigns still,
your wife, in discovering the fact,
will waste no love upon her. 4
So | thought-if thought at ALL
as Marian looked at me acrossitbe
breakfast table. And thought, al.
so, what a wretched failure this bad
been, this joining of hands---tor Ma.
rian aud for me--when the hearts
could never be Joined Our lives
had been different from the begin
ming; and in reality, il not in appear
ance, they must be different to the
end. True union we might look for,
seek alter, but in vain. .rf.. .5l.s
where two live I ,in ihsre is of Il scar
Where our lives were parched to
gethcr the scar was broad aud dcep;
and now and again the old wound
was touched, pierced to the ugly
core of it, by the stirring OF such u
memory as mad been stirred TO day.
And Ethel. Was she tit for Cap
tain Cecil? Scarcely the sort of
Woman to suit him, thought And
was he fit for herr No. indeed, for he
could not know her worth, and would
never value herjustly-how could
any oneS her fresh young heart, her
thoughtful mind, her face composed
OF flowers. He would never know
the worth of ,her--she, who was as
pure OF soul as sound OF body. 4
Nevertheless he must have -hers--'
The tact remained.a For me there
was no chance whatever now. | was
too late by year or SO of welded
life (and happiness) with Marian
Te,dayy there was the paragraph in
The Morning Post, and there would
be the church ceremonial, the break.
fast, the departure. twas too awful
thought to bear in silence. Marian
saw that 1t was q too awful a
thought, / say, to bear in silence;
and whether l nioaned or slr.ieked
Or
Whatever l did, l jumped out OF
bed the moment 1 was thoroughly
awake, and thanked God that that
evil dream was not true yet, at all
events. And Ethel--she was yet to
be won. 1t was possible to guard
against the future; whatever obsta-
cles the future presented might be
met and crushed. ...... -.,,.
l VIII meet them--that is resolved
They may take long to crush, but
they--or, in default OF them, my own
life--shall be crushed al last. There
can be no, yielding the pointil I have
strlven for ofold. Itiso only to strain
the nerves once more; and, bafiled,
to light II over again. Ethel, nv
hfe's set prize, must be won sooner
or later, Until l get her for my own,
let me work and striveJand dare con.