Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1867-10-16

A horticulturist advertised that he
would supply all sorts of fruit trees,
and plants, especially pie plants of all
kinds. A gentleman thesupon sent
him an order for one package of Gus
tard pie seed, and a dozen miuce pie
plants. The gentleman promptly fill
ed the order by sending him four goose
eggs and a small dog.
Job printingl-Job printing! !" ex-
claimed Mrs. Darlington the other day,
as she peeped over her spectacles at
the advertising page. of a country pa
per. Poor Job! they've kept him
printing after week ever since l
larnt to read, and if he wasn't the pa
t~ientest man hat eFer was, he never
would have stood it so long no how &"
WANTED TINE.-Boss, l want twenty
five cents. said n jour. printer to his
employer. Twenty-Five cents how
soo do you want it, Jake? Next
Tuesday for the Circus. As soon as
that ? you can't get it. l have told
you SO offen that when you were in
want of so large sum of mon y, you
must give me al least four weeks no
tice.
Abel P. had a spite against Squire B
Some one remarked in his hearing one
day that the Squire was a mean man.
Mean !" said Abel, Il guess he is. A
yard OF black tape would make him a
suit of mourning, and then he'd have
enough left for a weed on his hat."
A matron, under cross-examination
as a witness, turned up her nose at the
insinuation that her daughter was in
clined to wed a widower. Every like
ly, indeed" said she, with a toss of her
head, that my daughter should marry
a second hand man :"
An organ grinder at Norwich, Conn,
displays on the sides of his instrument,
neatly framed, q divorce frym his wife,
a letter of dismissal from church, and
a recommendation of character.
The world estimates men by their
success in life, and by general consent,
success is evidence of superiority.
The more we help others to bear
their burdens, the lighter our W will
be.
A contemporary says there is one
thing which will W get hurt by fall
ling-it always falls S slew. He means
-four.
A little four-year-old having heard
her father call her younger brother "a
little shaver" and desiring af5erward
to use the expression, could come no
nearer to it than 80 yOu title barber
shop :"
PA, are canibals people that live on
otherf olks?" Eyes, my dear" "Then
Pa, Uncle George must be a canibal,
for ma says he is always living on some
body"
In the central part of Illinois there has
been no rain for many weeks The con-
sequence Is one ofthe most serious drouths
that has ever been known there. The els
terms have all dried up, and the wells have
given out. There is much suffering in
localities in consequences.
The newspaper is a sermon for the
thoughtful. Il library for the pc r. and
a blessing for everybody. l. ri
Brough M called it the best public in
structor.
The events of to-day have more in
terest than those of yesterday. SO men
are fast giving up books for newsps-
pers.
The Boston Courier has a would-be.
funny correspondent, who signs him,
self Job Sass" "He is not half so
bright rs Balaam's," says M exchange. .
Here's to internal improvements. rs
our devil said when he swallowed a
dose of salts.
Greeley says the man wlso pays moro
for his shop rent than sor advertising,
don't know hi~IJs1ness.
A NV feature in advertising is that
by DR.. j. C. Aver, Of lowell. !
n using the reverse end Of a GARD OF
friction matches.
A penny subscription has been sot
On foot in Lyons, France. to give n gold
medal to the widow of John Brown.
Mrs. Maria Starks, residing in Onta-
ria county, n. Y, cut and harvested
this season over twenty-five acres Of
wheat with her own hands.
By the new postal arrangement with
Prussia. the postage is reduced from
to twenty-five cents for letters
by direct line from America to Ger
many.
The nearest tree to Fort Sedgwick,
Colorado, was a solitary one forty-five
distant. Firewood costs S33 per
,ord at the Fort.
A man advertises a new patent stove
which saves three-qusrters of the Goals,
while the ashes winch it makes pays
or the other quarter.
A Canadian newspaper contains the
GLOWING plaintive advertisement =
Will the gentleman who stole my
melons on last Sabbath night, be gen
,rous enough to return me a few of
The seeds, as the melons are a rare va
Poor fellow The editor of the W.
andot Pioneer publishes three marriage
notices, and appends the following apt,
.erse, and expressive editorial to each