Indiana American., 1867-03-29

! Judge William y /. Bacon, of the Su-
preme Court of New York, is one of the
very few dignitaries of the bench who has
adorned his sound legal requirements
with the amenities OF literature, and
sweetened his judicial remarks occasionally
with most delicious bufnor One day,
during the trial of a case. Mr.. Cunt Nas a
witness on the stand, and, as he hesitated
a good deal, and seemed unwilling, after
much persistent questioning, to tell what
he knew, the Judge said to him: Come,
Mr. Gum, don't hang fire. After the ex-
animation had closed, tie bar was convul-
sed by Judge Beacon's adding: 'Mr.
Gum, you can go off now--you may be
discharged
"Some legal conundrums are absolutely
startling, as for instance: .Tl
"Wby is an-cscaped felon the noblest
work Of God 2 Because be is an honest
man.
"Why is q lawyer like lazy man in the
morning ? Because he lies frst on ono
side and then turns over and lies on the
other.
"But the finest example OF this kind Of
wit is found in an anecdote of two noted
men, arotnd whose names cluster many
proud and pleasant memories to keep them
olive in the public mind. Cbief,J ustice
Story was once a guest at public dinner
in Boston, at which Edward Everett was
present, Wishing to pay a delicate com.
pliment to the latter, the learned judge
proposed as volunteer toast, Fame fol,
lows merit where Everett goes Tho bril-
liant scholar and consummate orator, not
at all disconnected, rose, and tossing up
his wine glass, responded, 20 whatever
heights judicial learning may attain in
this country, it will never rise above one
Story. ~ si,l ria .a.,-r ....,, a.
Among the finest specimens of i'm,
promptu replies, which, while not witty in
the ordinary sense Of the most exquisite
type, is the. following by William Writ.
This celebrated advocate was once advoca-
ting case involving some personal right,
in the course of which he stated "A very
broad legal proposition. His opponent
asked him for his authority in laying down
the rule, and to cite the book and page
which contained his precedent Mr..
Writ, in his impressive sttle, turned upon
his questioner and answered in this gor-
geous manner: t'.7
"Sir, am not bound to grope my way
among the ruins of antiquiiy-to stumble
over obsolete statutes, aud delve in black
letter lore in search Of principle writ
ten in living letters upon the hearts Of
every man. -. - = -
Rufus Choatc, the most brilliant man IN
many respects that has ever adorned the
profession, often ipdulged in grotesque
wit, which was quite as original as any
element in his eccentric genius. He once
complimented Chief Justice Shaw, of
Massachusetts, said to have been one OF
the ugliest men that ever sat upon the
bench-by saying as he arose to commence
his argument, "In coming into the presence
of your honor, | experience the same feel
ings the lindoo does when he bows be.
fore his dol,-I kno,c that yoa are s9iy;
bit i feel yoa ave great g
On another occasion, when he asked a
witness what his occupation was, the sane
timoniousIindiyidual answered, IL am a
minister of the gospel sir--a candle Of the
Lord
"Of what denomination, sir p ff
"The Baptist"
II trust, then, replied Mr. Choatc, that
you are d,Ipe,l, but not a ,ciek-cd can
| dle.'
This paper may be concluded by two
examples of sarcastic wit, which is the
type most common among lawyers. a'
"A member Of the bar once. entered the
Court of Appeals Of New York while a
counsellor was arguing an important case.
WHO is that gentleman addressing the
court? said he, speaking to Charles o Con.
ner, who was sitting near him. That,
sir, is Daniel Lord, Junior, aud he puts
on the Junior so that he may not be msta.
ken for the Lord Almighty IL may be
inferred that these two professional rivals
resembled neither Damon and Pythias nor
Joaathan and David, in their affection for
each other.
"Curran was ono day engaged in legal
argument. His colleague, standing be.
hind him, was a tall, lank aud lean man,
who had originally intended to take or
ders. The Judge remarked that the
case before him involved question. OF
eceiesiae,ioel law and on hearing this
Curran responded, Then can refer your
Lordship to high authority behind me,
who was once intended for the church
but in my opinion he is filter for the
steeple' .4-4a
"1n much the same vein was rctort ol
Lord Erskine, who, when mt the hight o
his reputation, was once opposed TO Coun.
scllor Lamb, an old aud celebrated MON.
Der Of the bar, Of very timid manners and
nervous temperament, who usually pro
faced his plea with some kind of an apol
ogy. Onthis occasion ho happened Il
remark that he felt himself growing
more and moro tiinid ms he grew older
mo wonder, replied the witty but releut
less Erskino, every ono knows that ih,
older Lamb grows the moro shocpish b,
becomes.
"Whcn Sheridan was going 10 cour
one morning, carrying his usual green bag
full Of books aud papers, some Of his pro
fcssional associates sot on the urchins II
the streets to ask him ifho was pedSsin,
old clothes. No. ho replied, these arc
all new suits.
"'rhis, however, is not as good as bis re
mark on entering crowded. commiile,
room, when ho calle out in parliamentar,
language, win some cue move that ma,
take the chair i
NOne would hardy suppose that 20 dr,