The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1867-03-29
@isfellautnns.
SCHOOL BOOKS.

meeting Of the Boari Of the new Southern
institute, to consider the Propriety Of pub
fishing q set OF new school books adap.e'i'o
the South Nasty submitted examples Tor
new Arithmetic:
A Yankee sent substi,oot into the Fed.
srsl army at COS, NV Si0OO, passin "ff on
to him two counterfeit ten dollar notes. To
make up e1pepli,oor, he To wunst sw'nd'ep
innocent Keunckian out Nv elOO In .
patent rite, q Aiabsmisn out Nv $2OO in .
Western land trade, and the balance he
makes up Ivy selling wooden nutmegs
which he turns out NV bsss- wood nj profit
Nv 4 cents per one. The great inorslqucs-
ton il. how many nutmegS must this in
genioas bus unpincipal euss msnuiac'ur.
and how long does Il take him with the i'm
proved machinery they hcv to dot?
The Southern sojen at The battle Nv the
first Bull Run captured 10 Federals one Nv
whom bed upon his person ei2 In green
bax and tothers % each. How many Nv
Johnson's postmaster Good b bought with
the proceeds NV the cspcher3
Deekin Podgrnm approved Of these ex-
smples, bu, no teps ins;s,ia thsi there
wuznt enuff In en- 10 6re the Southern
heart. The Southern heart wuz pcrpc'.
GOAL funeral pile wich needed continyooal
firm. Onless fired Il wux a gloomy mass
Nv very unsish,ly black cinders. lie pro.
posed that tho ioSthcomin book should he
coal oil on the slumberin emben NV the
youthful Southern heart. lie he'd exam.
pie:
The hattie OF Chikamauga was fought
certain number Of miles from Chattanooga.
Ono regiment Nv Coniederi, soljers druv .
division Nv Fedral merccnaries into the
town. Allowin that each Fctral, cx we'll
e. Confedri, he'd two legs how many more
steps did the fedmls take to get EN- into
Chattanooga. where they wuz comparative
ly safe from Confedrit rage and valor and
SIGH, than il did the Coniedri,s to drive EN-
thar?]
Bascom rcmarkt that he had one witch he
felt in his dooty to perpose:
A strickly cosncienshus groscry keeper
starts in bizness with four hundred in clean
cash. lie pays for his w.hiskey two dollars
per gallon in Louisville, and hcz Ger a reg.
lar customer Postmaster, wich drinks Tor
~ or sixty times per dry, and slluz tells him
to list chalk il down." Required, the
length Nv time nessary to bust under them
ffliciin circumstances.
Bascom rcnarkt that long before the
book appears in print. lie wood bc able to
furnish tho answer to that little problem.
Considerin the example dig direct at me,
I wuz NV noshen to rctort, but Their wus
SIGH look Nv injeri innocence onto Bas-
CONS countenancc that RELY ] coodent.
Suihin must 30 done for Bascom hev
lived onto him too long. The next con-
tribution ! receive from friends North shell
be devoted to liquida,in, in part, the deb, I
owe him. ] Good bust him, by not g;vin
him cost far his liker. but wat follers
There's the rub. Wood he who como nc.
ter give credit Better bear the ills we
how than fly to them to wich we hevn't bin
inierloost.
Joe Bigler, the drunken Coniedrit soljer,
happened in anil hcrl the last two exam.
pies, and rcn,arkt that he Good furnish ms
any number NV examples at site. We new
er stop Joseph in anything he proposes to
do, for he hez habi, Nv caryin navy re-
,olver slung ,u him and he shoots. Joseph
wur, therefore permitted 10 perceed.
Ef = suthcrn man pants fer his rites and
ftcs four years foe en-, giuin licked like
the devil, how long after is Il advisable for
him ter con,inyoo to pant, pcvided he
didn't know at the beginning what his rites
wus?
lvcnchered to remark that q solushen
NV that problem wua impossible, thes bein
no pint to work u departure from, to wich
Joseph rcmarkt ,ha, perhaps Il WI. faulty
In that partickelar, hut he he'd Others;
Ef q su,heru soier can whip Eve North
ern sojers, Why in bloody thunder. they
hevin he'd suihciency Nv Upper toonities
NV do;n Il, didnt the South gain her indie
pendenee'
Ef fi,in four years. and losin every dog.
soned cents worth Nv property IMAM he'd
wus profitable bisnis, how many struggles
for independence wood man NV molrit
means be justified in grin thru with7
Efm gallons and q half NV kentucky
whisky Kin 10 gut frun bushei nv corn,
how many dimmikrstic voters, takin young
men On they run. kin bc manufactured
from tho product Nv q ater NV good land
in modri, year ior comp
A high.,oned shivslrous Virginian, TWEEN
" years ago, he'd . female slave wich wuz
ca black o. . crow, and wuth only $500.
Her progeny wus only hall 9, black es a
crow, and her female grandchildren WI,
sufficiently bleached TO sell in Moo Orleans
Cor t2S0O per female ofispsins. Required
la-the length Nv timo necessary to pay
OF tho National debt by this means ID
the number Nv years necessary to bleach
tho euss Nv color out NV the nisgcrs NV the
United Staiesl
Ef tour old gray-hesded jackssscs, which
ought 10 know better, see III to keep one
sucker 6llsd with whisky. how many suck.
ers Good -four iroo- gray mules keep filed
he'd they been only half jackassl
A. Johnson had idea NV carryin Ger.
tain number Nv deessricks, by spckin in EN-
with Sswsrd, al NV wich gives increased