The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1867-03-20
MRS. CAUDLE's LECTUREs.

.
mr.. CaudIe Having csme Home a LII.
\ tie Late, Declares that HencerOrfll
''He will have n Key laHl. ..a..
"Upon my word, Mr.. Caudle, / think
II waste of time to come to bed at all
now! The cocks viii be Growing in &
minute. Why did I SIT up, then Be.
cause choose to sit up-but that's my
thanks. No, it's no use of you're talk
ing, Candle; never lUiH let the girl sit
up for you, and there's an end. What
do You say? Why does she SIT up trith
me, them That's quite different mat
ter; you don't suppose I'm going to sit
tWo sitting up? That's my business.
No, Caudle, it's no such thing. don't
sit up because 1 may have the pleasure
of talking about ii; and you're an un-
grateful, unfeeling creature to say so. I
sit up because l choose it; and if YOU
don't come home all the night long
twill soon come to that, I've no doubt,
still, I'll never go to bed, so don't
think it.
"oh yes! the time runs away very
pleasantly with you men at the clubs.
selfish creatures ! You can laugh and
sing, and tell stories, and never think
ofthe clock; never think of Sucn u per-
son as wife belonging 10 you. 1t
holhlng TO You that poor woman's
settlng up, and telling the minutes, and
seeing all sorts of things in the fire
and sometimes thinking something
dreadful has happened to you!-more
fool sne to care Il straw about YOU p
this is all nothing! Oh NO! When IA
woman's once married she's a slave
worse than a slave-and must bear it
all.
land what you men can find to talk
about, 1 can't think! Instead of
a man sitting every night at home with
his wife, and going to bed at a chris
tan hour-gotng to a club, to meet a
SET OF people who don't care button
Tor him,-its moustrous! What do
you shyE You only 90 once q tgeek
That's nothing AT all to do with IL yo,,
might as well go every night; and /
dare say you will soon. Buff You do.
you may get In as you can; won't sit
up for you, can tell you once for all.
my health's being destroyed night
after night, and-oh, don't say it's only
once week; 1 tell you that's nothing
to do with tiff you had any eyes YOU
would see how i'll am; but you've no
eyes for anybody belonging to you; oh
no! your eyes are for people out of
doors. It's very well for you to call
me foolish, aggravating woman! I
should like to see the woman who'd
sit upfor you as do. You didn't 1Cant
me to SIT up? Yes, yes; that's your
thanks-t that's your gratitude: Pm to
It. Nice principles you've got at that
club, Mr.. Caudle! -.. ".,
But there's one comfort-one great
comfort; it can't last long:-Pm sink
ing-I feel it, though 1 never say any
thing about it-but I know nv own
feelings, and 1 say L can't last long.
And then should like to know how
your second wife-what do Won saw {?
YOWH HeUeT be troubled iUih aHothey.7
Troubledl indeed! I never troubled
you, Caudle. No; it's you who have
troubled me; and you know it; though,
IKE 1oolish woman, I've borne It all,
and never said word about it. But
1t can't last-that's one blessing
''Oh, if woman could only know
what she'd have to suffer before she was
married-dOn't tell me you want TO 20
to sleep! If you want 10 go to sleep,
you should come home at proper hours!
It's time TO get up, for what ! know,
now. % shouldn't wonder if you hear the /
milk-man in five mlnutes-there's the /
sparrows up already; yes, / say the /
sparrows; and, Caudle, you ought TO |
hear them. You don't hear 'eDt ? Hal
you won't hear 'em, you mean; hear |
'em. No, Mr.. Caudle; it is MT the wind
whlstling in the key hole; I'm not quite !
foolish, though you may think so. 1
hope l know wind from a sparrowI
Ha when think what man YOU
were before we were married! But
you're now another person-quite an
altered creature. But suppose you're
an allke-i dare say, every poor wo-
mans troubled and put upon, though / |
should hope not so much as / am. In |
deed, should hope not! Going and /
staying out, and
What! YouU hare u keyg VIII |
you? Not while I'm alive, Mr.. Caudle, |
Pm not going to bed with the door upon 1
the latch for you or the best man breath !
ing. You lyO1't hare u Edtch-you,I hare
a Chu66's lock? Win you? I'iI have no /
Chubb here, l can tell you. What do /
you say? -YOU'U hGUe the lock Jitt on
Well. try it; that's all 1
say, Caudle; try IT. / won't let you put
me in passion; but all say is-try it. /
"a respectable thing, that, for mar
ried man to carry about him-a street.
door key That tells a story, think. I
A nice thing for the father of family I
A key! What, to let yourself in and
you please! To come in, like |!
a thief in the middle of the night. in
stead of knocking at the door like a
decent person! oh, don't tell me that
you only want to prevent me sitting up
IF 1 choose to sit up, what's that TO
you2 Some wives, indeed, would make
a noise about sitting up, but yOu'Ue no
reason TO omplain-goodness knows I
l"Well, upon my word, I've lived to
hear something. Carry the street-door
key about with youl I've heard of
such things with young good-for- {
nothing bachelors, with nobody 70 care
what became of 'em but for a married
man TO leave his wife and children in a
house with the door upon the latch
don't talk TO, me about Chubb, it's the |;
samoa great deal you must care Tor
us. Yes, it's very we'll for you to saw
that yon only want the key for peace (
and quietDess-whaps it to yoA if /
like to sit up? You've no business to
it can't distress you Now,
iL's no use your talking; all / say is
this, Caudle: if you send a man to put
on anS lock here, I'll calf in police
man: as l'm your married wife will 4
No, think when a man comes to
have the street-door key, the sooner he
turns bachelor altogether the better.
I'm sure, Caudle, don't want 10 be
your telling me to hold my tongue, for
What? IgiUe yoH the hedddche, do II
No, 1 don't, Caudle; it's your club that
gives you the headache; it's your
smoke. and your-well! il ever knew /
such a man in all my lifeI there's no
sayingh word to you! You go out and
-reSt yourself Ike an emperor-and +
come home at twelve at night, or any
hour, for what L know-and then you
8nd"-
~ did get to sleep at last" says eau
die, amidst the falling sentences of
take children into a lodging'-'sepa-
rate maintenance'-'won't be made a
slave oF-and so FORTH -CI- H-sa
IN an article on "The Clergy and the
Pulpit,v the London Saturday ReUiev
thus accounts for the alleged dullness
Of sermons: "For why are sermons
dull? The main reason. we take il is