The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1867-04-13
BUDGET OF FUN,


ON near Vincennes, attended ball in that
lace, the sun says, not long since, in company
it'll "the Idol of his hsart." After the dance
| I'd progressed for some time, the young man
ON the rural district saw the one most dear to
i'm sitting alone in the corner of the ROOM and
included he would step over and have a social
lat with his lady love. All well so far, but the
ishful fellow at a loss for something
| , say-he tdgeted about and was sweating pro-
,sely, having Just left the dance and besides the
'om was quite warm. Finally taking hold of
is wilted collar, he commenced his conversation
nus: Its powerful warmly shirts wet;
int yours The lady wiIted.
"Well," said an old gentleman, the other day.
have been AZ years in business and can say
hat very few can after such experience in all
nat time / never disappointed but one
reditor."
BLESS me, what an example for our Young
,ercantile community replied the pers.n adj.
ressed what pity that one time occurred
ow was itT'
"Why," responded the old gentleman, 81 paid
debt when il became due, and never, in all my
fe, saw man so astonished as that creditor
yas."
man who had won a fat turkey Mt rattle
nd whose pious wife was very inquisitive about
he method of obtaining the poultry, satisfied
er at last by the remark that shakers gave ID
him.
IA gentleman met half-witted lad in the road
nd placing in his hand sixpence and penny,
sked him which of the two he would choose
he lad replied that che wouldn't be greedy, and
hat he'd take the smallest"
"Pompey," said good natured gentleman to
lis colored man, ~ did not know till to-day
hat you had been whipped last week"
Didn't you, massa r replied Pompey, 'I--I
now'd it JUS de same time it occurred"
A countryman was charged with ten gallons
# molasses, which grocer put in an eight gal
on keg. He said he did not mind the money
|,ver-charged as much as he did the strain on the
seg.
A little girl, just past her fifth year, while
chatting about the beaux that visited two Of the
sex in the same house of more mature age, be-
ng asked, what do you mean by beaux, Annie?"
,he replied: why mean men that have not
got much sense"
The conductor is a fine looking fellow said
! friend to Mr.. Quilp, in the horse car. Only
air looking answered the latter, as he passed
Up his scrip.
Dryden was so fond of reading that his wife
me day exclaimed IL wish were a book, that
might be always IN your society" 81 wish
was an almanac." he replied, 80 that could
,hange every year
A married wretch says the greatest gift vouch-
afcd to any living man was that granted TO Adj
IN, he was blessed with wife wit hout ever
having mother-in-law
A man who has q wife or sweetheart named
iize is not to be- believed in anything for he's al
ways sure to tell Lie about everything.
Hon. VI. T. Jugg recently delivered temper.
nee lecture before the "Friendly Sons and Tenn
'erate Daughters OF the NJ. 4. r. and Y L. Y of
ne |. s. in which he said that, there was no
iarm in glass OF whisky, provided it is allow
d to remain in the glass.
A drunken man lately tried to get policeman
o arrest his own shadow. His complaint was
nat an i'll looking scoundrel kept following him.
A joker propounds these queries: If Great
}ritain should lose her cork in Ireland, would
Il her spirits run Out, Can the Fenian army
pc large enough without Dublin?
The democrats of New Hampshire had great
ause of Joy, but the nutmeg state furnishes q
crater.