Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1867-09-12
.MisrelfaffeOffs.

1t is good thing to be above board,
but gcnerallya bad thing 70 be over
board.
A wise and witty contemporary re-
marks that the first dress worn by
mother Eve was bear skin.
"1f all the world were blind what a
melancholy sight it would be- said an
Irish clergyman.
What is the difference between a
barber and motherg One has razors
to shave and the other has shavers to
raise.
A darned bad dream is to dream
you are hugging a pretty girl, and
waken up to find your arms around
the pillow.
"Will you lend father your newspa-
per, sir 7 he only wants TO read it p
Eyes, my boy, aud ask him to lend me
his dinner, | only want to eat it,"
A prudent young woman ia Provi-
dence, who looked under the bed before
she roposed thereon, discovered large
and intelligent negro hidden there.
The Missouri Radicals are non.plus-
sod about Grant, and the leading Rad
ical paper of st. Louis declares he
has forfeited Radical confidence. O.,
dear, what heavy loss
An editor at a dinner table, being
asked if he would take some pudding,
replied in fit Of abstraction "Owing
to crowd of other matter, we are
unable to find room for it,"
Judge Pierson, of Dauphin county,
in his charge to the grand jury, de-
nounces the new liquor law as inferior
to the existing statutes and totally
inadequate for the purposes Intended.
Why is pretty young LADY like
locomotive engineY Don't give it up.
There are lots of reasons. She sends
off the sparks, transports tie males,
(mdles,) has train following her, and
passes over the plain.
PARALLELs-OId Thad, the Yankee
schoolmaster, repudiating the Consti-
tuition, and Judge Williams, the wood
en- nutmeg Yankee, repudiating the
bonds Of Pittsburg and Allegheny
county. Blood will tell
To PAY OUR NATIONAL DEBT-Just
elect little repudiating, higher lawites
like Williams, for Supreme Judges
men who will make contract with
you for gold, and then compel you
to take fifty cents on the dollar, in
rags.
The age of superstition has not yet
passed. In Troy, there is an ignorant
old hag of seventy who pretends to
"tell fortunes" and on Thursday, the
crowd around her residence was so
great that the police had to interfere
and break it up.
Zion's Herald advertses two colored
preachers "of superior parts" who
want white congregations 1t says,
''now, brethren, let us practice as we
preach" Mr.. Herald, you ask your
friends to do something they have
never done, and never will-to be
honest.
A veritable story is told of bright
little girl, who, attending Sunday
School for the first time, was asked |
i'Who went into the lions den ?" The
little one appeared puzzled and did
not answer. The teacher commenced |
spelling, to awaken the child's mem
Dry, DIAN ~ can tell now" ex.
claimed she, all smiles; at was Dan
Rice !"
Hon. Ignatius Donnelly, mongrel
Of Congress from Minnesota,
n recent letter to the st. Paul Press
'ays:
"The crime of reputation is not
greater than the crime Of robbing q
people"
Selling greenback bonds at dis
,ount to capitalists, taxing "a con-
iding people, to pay them interest
n gold, and exempting the bondhol-
Ter from taxation, is worse than the
NiiihV VI iVpuuiaeiVh.
MARRIED-At Trenton, on the 22d
It,, by +. I, Frelnghuysen, Esq, as
listed by Senator Nye, Gen. Hawley
nd others, General Radical Party TO
Hiss African Suffrage. Henry Wilson
ave away the fair bride, and at the
lose of the services the audience
oined in singing the following stanza
"Oh she was harlot and hewas a thief,
But they loved each other beyond all belief"
TLest some may find fault with our
oetry, we hereby inform our readers
hat it was selected from last Satur-
sy's Tribune. Trenton American.
PLEASE TELL.-You are a Radical
"A genuine Republican. Tell US
How do you restore the UnionY
How do you preserve a Constitu-
ion
Who was benefited by the warY
How much better off is the poo
ian now than before the warY
Do you believe in equal taxationY
Why not exempt the poor working
len as well as the rich bondholders
Why tax the poor soldier who
,ught for his country, and exempt
ON all taxation the speculator who
aid at homo and stole from his
ountry?
SooLDINo.--A little girl not six
ears of age screamed out to her lit
9 brother, who was playing in the
Iud;
"Bob, you good.for. nothing rascal,
)me right into the house this minute
r I'll beat you till the skin comes off"
Why, Angelina, dear, what do you
lean 7 Where did you learn such
Xix p exclaimed the mortified moth
:, who stood talking with friend