The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1867-02-19
From use London Saturday Reaar.

Scarcity OF Marrying Men.
From tse London Saturday Rerielc.
We lately ventured TO assert that the
art Of matchmaking requires cultiva-
J tion. We are told, however, that, on
the contrary, match making is so zeal
Ously studied and skillfully pursued
! that it bids fair to be the great social
fevil ofthe nineteenth century civiliza-
ton. The growing difficulty of procur-
I ing SOns-in-law has called forIhs Il cor
responding increase in the skill re-
/ quired for capturing them, just as the
I wits of the detective are sharpeued to
( keep pace with the eXpertneSss which
/ has conferred upon the thief. Eligible
( bachelors complain that scarcity of
marrying men has much the same
effect upon the match making mother
/ as scarcity of food upon the wolf. 1t
makes her at once more ferocious and
more cunning. Her Invitations TO crO-
Quet parties and little dinners are so
scarcely possible for her destined prey
to refuse them all without manifest
rudeneSs, and yet it IS equally hard for
I him to go without being judicionsly
maueuvered into ''paying attention" 10
I the one young lady who has been Sc
lected TO make him happy for life. The
chiyalrous and graceful synonym for
courtship in itself speaks volumes for
! the serious nature OF the risk which he
runs. The truly gallant assumption
which underlies it, that an Englishman
only "pays attention. to woman
when he has solid business-like
offer OF marriage to make her,
not only puts formidable weapon into
the hands of the match maker, but also
| leaves her victim without a most effect
| ual means OF protection. The national
gallantry toward women upon which
4 a Frenchman SO plumes himself may
] be, as your true Briton declares, a poor
| sort of quality enough; mere grimace
and trick of the hps-not genuine stuff
I from the heart; having much the same
! relation to true chivalry that his bieTe
has to beer, or his Pottd9e to soup. But
I at any rate it has this advantage, that
i enables him to pay any amount of
| howery compliments TO a woman with
/ out risk of committing himself, or of
I being misunderstood If an English
man asks \ young lady after her sore
/ throat or her invalid grandmother, and
| throws into his voice that tone of eager
interest or tender sympathy which a
polite Erenchman would assume as a
matter OF course, he is at once suspected
/ OF matrimonial designs upon her. He
/ IS obliged TO be as formal aud business
/ like in his mode of address as the law
I yer's clerk who added at the end OF a
( too ardent love-letter the saving clause,
"AA44bdN ~ udNS nEdIO
| of young lady who confided to her
bosom friend that she that morning
expected n proposal, and, when closely
| pressed for her reasons, biushingly
confessed that the night before n gem
tleman had twice asked her whether
she was fond Of poetry, and four times
whether she would like to go into the
refreshmeut room.
we do not mean to say that this ten
deucy TO look upon every ''attention"
/ as preliminary step to an offer is en-
tirely, or even principally due 10 British
want of gallantry- Our national theo-
~ of courtsLip and marriage has prob
ably much more TO do with it. We say
theory advisedly, for our practice
approaches every day nearer to that of
the Continental nations whose merce-
nary view of the holy estate of natri-
mony we righteously abjure. Our sys-
tenn Is, IN fact, gradually becoming a
clumsy compromise between the mar
rage de cORUeTIdHce and the marriage
glamour, with most of tine disadvan-
tages, and very few of the advantages,
OF either. Theoretically, English girls
are allowed to marry for love, aud to
choose whichever tley like best of all
the aduiring swaius whom they fasci-
nate at crOquet parties or balls. Prac-
tically, the majority marry for an es-
tablishment, and only flirt for love.
They leave the school room, no doubt,
with an unimpeachably romantic con-
ceptIon of youthful bridegroom who
combines good looks, great intellect,
and feryent Piety with modest four
thous sand year, paid quarterly. But
they are not very long in finding out
that the men whom they like best, as be-
ing about their own age or still Young
enough to sympatnfze with their tastes
and enter heartily into all their notions
OF funr are rarely such as are pro-
nounced by parents and guardians to
be eligible; and so, after one or two at
tacks, more or less serious, OF love fever,
they TRANQUILITY look out for an admi-
rer who can place the proper number.
of servants and horses at their disposal,
while they in return magnaninlously
decline to make discourteously minute
inquiries as to the condition OF his hair
or teeth. a marriage made in
this spirit, even where no pressure is
put upon the young lady by parents and
friends, and she Is allowed full liberty
of action, is open to all the charges
ordinarily brought against the COnti-
mental marriage de eonUeHdnce. Yet, on
the other hand, Il has not the advantage
OF being formally arranged beforehand
by couple of elderly people, who are
in no hurry, and who have seen enough
of the world to know thoroughly what
they are about; nor, we may add, does
II usually take place in time to avert
some one or more of those troublesome
hirtations with handsome, but penni-
less ballroom heroes, which are not
always calculated to improve either
temper or character. Still, whatever
our practice may be, we nevertheless do
homage to the theory that in this IA
yored country, young ladies choose
whatever husbands they like best, and
marry for love; and although this theo
~ IS in some respects a serious obstacle
to marriage, and ofleu stands cruellyin
the way of people with weak nerves, it
places a powerful weapon in the hands
of the dauntiess and determined match
maker. If young people are TO marry
for love, they must obviously have
every facility afforded them for meet
ing and fascinating each other. 1t is
this consideration which reconciles the
philosopher TO some of our least enter
tanning entertainments, although at the
same time, II makes so much of our
hospitality an organized hypocrisy. II
is, indeed, hard fate to be obliged TO
leave your after-dinner cigar and
George Eliot's last novel in order TO
drive four miles through wind and
snow to u party which your host
ess has given, not because she has
good fare or good music, or agreea-
Bile guests, or anything, in short,
really calculated to amuse you, but
simply and solely because she mas q
/ tribe OF daughters WHO somehow must
be disposed of. Yet even man of the
Sir Cornewall Lewis stamp, who thinks
that this world would be a very to!era-
bic place but for its amusemeDxs. NAV
forgive her when he reflects thai busi-
ness, not pleasure, is at the bottom of
the Invitation. If marriage is TO be
kept up, We must either abandon our
theory that young ladies are allowed 10
choose husbands for themselves, or we
must give them every possible facility
9 g. A.