The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1867-08-08
JACKSON STANDARD.
THURSDAY. = AUGUsr :, 1867.
How Ono Man Celebrated the
Fourth


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How One Man Celebrated the
Fourth.
There is a patriotic person i'll New
Jersey, who celebrates the Fourth OF
July by himself The Sussex Rcgste'
tells the story:
"Om old friend and subscriber, Mr.
Barnes Lane, in accordance with the
custom which he has adhered to for the
last six or eight years, celebrated the
national anniversary on Thursday, upon
his own hook. lie plays with facility
upon the musical instruments named
below, writes his own toastS, drinks the
best wh-ater, fires his own powder,
and writes out for publication the re-
port of his proceedings in full, round
hand. Hence, he very properly styles
it, in a note addressed to the RegStT,
an independent celebration got up to
suit himself We append the report
sent us by Mr. Lane;
"At sunrise the Stars and Stripes
were futtering in the breeze, when a
heavy firing commenced and continued
for a long time; then the Declaration
of Independence was read; and then the
toast-table ian old hogShead turned bot
tom upwar6 was prepared, when the
following toasls were drank:
81. TIE Day / ccleJrate-If | get
through with a whole shirt and a whole
hide, well and good; if not, let 'cm rip.
One gun, three cheers. Music Oh fife.
Tune-'Y ankee Doodle
~. All hail, sweet Independence, hail!
To thee wen tribute paT
Let every nlgger act his part,
Now slayerys done away.
One gun, three cheers Music on BAN
10. Tune-Dandy jim
"3. George Washington and abraham
Lincola-The two great Apostles OF
Freedom-the former delivered our
country from British tyranny, the latter
knocked the shackles of slavery from
four millions of human beings at one
single blow. While gratitude remains
in the human breast, the praise OF these
two great men will dwell on the tongues
of all true patriots. One gun, six
cheers. Music on the German flute.
Tune-'Was ashington's Grand March,
"a. Tile Jetcel Of LiJerty-May it ever
be kept safe in the ark of Freedom
One gun, three cheers. Music on viO-
lin. Tune-Liberty Tree.
rs. The perjured rebel cut-ttrodts Of the
Somh-When the devil gets back to
where he fell from, then may they get
back to the halls Of Congress, and not
till then. One gun, three cheers.
Music on octave flute. Tune-'Go to
the devil and shake yourself
"6. President JoLasOn-If the copper
in his heart and the brass in his face
were melted together, we would have
bell-metal enough to pay our war debt,
and have enough left to purchase a tun
of hemp, 50 much needed in the South.
One gun, no cheers, no music, one
hiss.
81. JeG Davi8-We never heard tell
of his raising hemp, but we do sincere
ly hope to hear tell of hemp raising him
before he has a chance to die natural
death. One gun, six cheers. Music
on ACCORDION. Tune-Logan Water
death march)
"8. Died very suddenly politically
on the 9th day Of November last, pre-
cisely'at sunset, in the Fourth Con
gressional district of New Jersey, with
all the fearful symptoms of negro
phobia, Andrew Jackson Preamble
Rogers; peace to his ashes and a slow
resurrection, One gun and few crOc-
odile tears. Music on tin whistle.
Tune-Rogue's March
"9. Ow last Presidential EIectioR-G.
b. Mcclellan got votes twenty-one,
while his soul goes marching on. One
gun, three cheers. Music on Jewish
Cymbal. Tune-John Brown
w0. The Nutmeg State-lf it ever
means to supply the market with cop
per nutmeg -graters, VIC think now is
the time. One gun, three cheers.
Music on bass violin. Tune-'Iail
Columbia
al. Old SaSser-When we look at
its mountains and its valleys, its rocks
and its hills, SprouI IIiIf IN particular,
we think nature formed it on purpose
for den ofcopperhoads. One gun,
nine unearthly Kisses.
"l2. The Far .Scr-Thc late fashion
affords scarcely material enough to
cover their scalps, to say nothing of
their waterfalls; may we soon see bon
nets once more. One gun and smile.
Music on jewsharp, Tune-'BarnOy,