Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1867-10-01
HUMOROUS.
A Car Adventure.

There was five of us-yes, five as happy
fellows as ever was let loose from college,
Il was vacation" and we concluded to take
trip to the Falls. We got aboard the cars
at N, and we're soon travelling very RAPIDLY
towards our destination. We had Just seated
ourselves and prepared for a comfortable
smoke, when in came the conductor, and who
could it be but our old friend, Fred B. After
the common salutatious had passed, Fred
said he had some business for us to attend to.
''Out with it, old chum," said we, "auy-
thing at all will be acceptable, SO let us
have it."
"WGll, boys" said he, Tin the next car
there is as loving pair as it was ever my lot
to see. They are going down to II. to get
married =; and now if you can have any fun
over it, just pitch in"
In moment he was gone, and VIC set our
heads together to form plan.
81 have it, boys" said Bill Stecvers. 1--WE
must make the girl think that her lover is
married.
THAT'S it, Bill, that's it." said We, not
giving him time to finish the sentence.
That he is a married man, and the father
of children" said Bill.
1t devOlved upon me to commence opera
tiOns. Accordingly l entered the car in
which We were informed the couple we're
Sure enough, there they were. The girl
thinking, l suppose, that she must give her
lover all the seat, had taken a seat on his
knee, and be for the purpose of protecting
her, had thrown his arm around her waist
and so they sat in real soft lovers style. All
his gathered at glance. Stepping up to
them, l said
"Why, jones' what in the deuce are you
doing with this girl ~
The Uirl rose hastily and Snofad Garco1F m
the seat.
See here, stranger" said the fellow, "you
are mite mistaken my name amt Jones'"
"Why Jones" said l, ''you certainly have
not left your wife and children, and tried to
palm yourself off for a single man, have you2"
al tell you my name amt Jones it's IIar-
per. 1t never was Joncs-'tain't goin' to be
nuther."
l merely shook my head aud passed on to
aOOtheS seat 10 see the rest of the fun. About
the time the couple got to feeling all right
again, in came Elliott Gregg. Walking Up
to Harper, he accOsted him with
'Why, Jones, you here? How did you
leave your wife and babies 2"
"NOw SEES here, stranger, you amt the ftlst
man that's called me Jones to. day, an l
reckon l must look awfully like him, but
amt Jones, an more'n that you mustn't call
me Jones. hain't got wife nor babies
either; but this are gal an me is going to
splice, aud then you can talk about my wife,
and l wouldn't wonder but what, in course of
time, you might talk about babisS, too but
you mustn't call me Jones ~
This retort brought forth vociferous laugh
ter from the spectators, and it also brought
bushes to the face Of the girl shat twas goin'
to be spIiced."
''Ah, JONES'" said Gregg, "you'll regret
this in the future. pity your wife and this
poor girl"
"S", Mr.. Harper, your real name is Jones,
Is 1t: and you've been toOling me, have youZ
Well, We amt spliced yet, aud don't think
we shall be, very soon,' said the girl, and her
eyes flashed fire.
Jane, Jane" said Harper, "dou't you
know I'm Bill Harper? Thar ANITA darned
frsF of Jones blood in me, an I'll prove it."
At this moment, jeff Jackson, Bill Stee-
vers and Jem Byers entered, and of course
their attention was called TO Harper BY his
loud talking. They stepped up 20 hisn, aad
said
"Why Jones, what is all this fuss about ?"
This was more than Harper could stand.
He leaped upon seat.
Now" said he, "my name is not Jones.
an can lick the fellow that says il is"
by this time we had got TO H., and our
friend Fred came into the car and got Har>
Psr to keep quiet. The girl that wouldn't be
"spliced" requested Fred to help her on the
train that was going back to s., which he did,
and the notorious Jones, alias Harper, fol-
lowed her. We learned, afterwards, that he
proved himself to be Bill Harper" instead of
Bill Jones, and he and his gal Jane, got
''spliced."