The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1867-10-02


SPICE. Our readers will sympathise
over the agony here expressed in this
second parting: -, t....I'.'. -.
I'VE parted once before. You wept ,
7 When rose up togo, you did;
You prayed for me before you slept,
You little love, you know you did!
And now no grief is on that brow, ~
Which then you said throbbed so. you did;
You loved me better then than now;
You cruel thing, you know you did!
do you remember what the sea.
took you out to show you, did7
. You made pretty simile
+ You false of tongue, you know You didi
You sighed, That life were like its crests
'To catch loves light before it restsp
You cold, cold heart, you know you did!
what have I done2 You smile no more
On me as months ago you did;
You deem my homage now a bore;
You liked 1t then, you know You did.
I Who'd love me truly!' Oh! you did!
y
r.. You utter airt, you know you didl' =
The inimitabIe Mark Twain discoursing
on ladies' fashions, andthe gift of inspira-
ton rs it were with which they contrive
so many outlandish and ugly costumes.
goes On: t. 80
Blu, this time they have been felicitious
in Invention. The wretched waterfall
| remains of course, but in 8 modified
form. Every change it has undergone
was for the better. First it represented
bladder of Scotch snuff; next it hung
down the woman's back like canvassed
ham afterwardsit contracted and coun-
| terfeiteda turnip on the back of the
head now it sticks straight out behind,
and looks like wire muzzle on a grey
hound Nesting 10 the midst of this
long stretch. ofHhead and hair reposes
the little batter-cake Of bonnet, like o
jockey-saddle on race horse--Yon vii
| readily perceive that this locks, very
unique, and pretty, and eoauettish. But
the glory Of the: costume is the robe
the dress. No .farbelows, no fonaces,
no biasses, no rumes, no cores, no }aces,
: no futter&heels, n, hoops to speak Of
! nothing bot-a rich, plain, narrow black
| dress, terminating just below the knees
in long saw teeth (pointing downward,
and underneath~it a flaming red skirt,
enough to put your eyes out, atreaches
down to Che ankle bone and exposes the
reckless little feet. Charming. fascina-
ting, seductive, bewitching! To see a
lovely girlsof seventeen, with d saddle
t on her head, q sgnuzzie on behind. and
her veil jnst covering the end of her
saose, come tripping along in the hoop
less, red bottomed dress. like chnrn on
| FIRE, is enough to set a man Wild. -
In the new order of things and the
cry for white servants, Biddy inswant ol
a place comes in apropos: :.
"Biady, Go The lady, Do yodt keep
two; girls2 Is the kitchen. on the same
.hoar with the -parlor Have yon canvas
carpet on the floor? Have you gas in the
kitchen? - -.
! Lady. Now, Biddy, ifyou have got
through, allow me to ask you few saes,
tiens. DO you speak Frcneti Talk
Spanish or italian? Dc you take. tea out
I more than three times aweek ? Do you
play the piano2' =:
:: tRiddy. Indeed, no ma asa. T..
Lady. Then you won't do for me- 1
want maid with all these accomplish.
n,ents.
Exit Bddy::'
a "worshipper" lets loose as follows.
Every body to. their taste as the Old
woman said when she kissed her COW:
The Nigger.-We admire him. We
like him. We 1exe: him. We go IN TO.
him. We have but one idea, and that is
nigger. We have but one dream, and
tttat IS ditto. We preach from but ons
text, and that isdilto. We sing but one
song, and that is ditto We play but one
tune, ard that is ditto. We 60 eur full
Length on Niger. We are allaver ditto
We are ditto 10 the: morning. We are
ditto at noon. We are ditto at night.
We are ditto all the time. We live on
ditto. We sleep on, ditto. Well die
! on ditto.
VIII you have Daily SUM-" said a
news-boy to Mrs. Partington... We doa't
blame her for the indignant answer, poor
old ladys j.. ;.
|, sHWHl have daily. sons Why you
little seapegracel How dare you insinua'e
against lone woman from homef No,
indeed-l guess won't hare daily 500,
my poor dear man used TO complain
awful when presented him with a year
! " son! A daily son., iHdeedt Begone,
yol little upstart imp" and the old lady
! called for the old turkey fan to keep he'
| from fainting.. ~, -
+: Editors IN New Hampshire, down
about where the sun rises, have new
way of Increasing their subscription lists
| and If we did not already have a sufR.
cheney, We would offer like inducements,
with the addition of a pumpkin Or two :
A subscriber for one copy receives o
box of blacking; two copies obtains O
box of sardines, and, to sum aP five
hundred copies secures the nomination
to Congress, while one thousand brings
the lucky patron farm in New Jersey,
fenced in and mortgaged. .-~
Our idea exactly; young gentlemen
in search Of wives, good wives, will do
we'll to notice if the girls they visit read
the papers, particularly the Herald. If
they do, our word for it they'll do to
tie to: