Brownlow's Knoxville Whig. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1866-1869, 1867-12-04
Male Histories.

There is disease which sometimes sfiicts ner-
vous young females and is called, we believe nys'e-
ria The patient it is said, is apt to sob, and cry
and laugh in q manner wholly unreasonable unnec-
essnrv and absurd 10 make sundry centortions and
rrimaces, and even 10 do little sometimes by way
Of commissions, and generally TO exhibit very I'M
becile and demented style Of behavior.
The sterner sex sometimes exhibit very similar
train of symptoms, and if the complaint indicated
is not called male Mysteries" it ought TO be- And
let us say that Of the two much prefer the e1hi
bi,ion Of the female kind if we must have either
For lovely woman thus afflicted we may entertain
come degree of sympathy, if not respect; but man
in bvsterics-faughl we can give him neither re-
spect nor sympathy.
These thoughts have been suggested by the very
hvsterioAl condition in which the Free Press OF
this city has been for many weeks upon the subject
Of Northern men. 1t is usual we believe, for dis
ordered ntelleets 10 show disturbance IN one dIrec
ton and upon some particular subject just as bull
or q turkey-cock may be zane on most TOPICS and
insane only al the sight OF red rag and the RED
rag" of the Free Press IL the subject ct Northern
men. We do not desire 10 DC captous as to the en-
tertainmcnt which the disordered functions OF the
Free Press-inn intellect should furnish the comma
nifty but would like tendery to suggest to cur spas
nnodc and afflicted friend that when single poor |
tune has beer for q long time very poorly played /
BY poor performer on a very poor instrument the
performance ceases 10 be amusing and becomes sim
ply bore. II is rather amusing than otherwise to
see some spunky little boy lie down on the floor and
sousal and kick al his mother but when the per-
verse little wretch keeps il up all day ii becomes
nuisance.
We are not aware what particular thing has so
thesked the delicate mental and moral nature of the
Free Press and thrown its "hefty inteleck' off its
balance. So far as we know, the Northern men in
this community are peaceabe, hard working set :
who do not-any more than is the case with ave-
rage humanity-get drunk the streets, dvfraua | :
their creditors, or rob our banks. The greatest
strocty that we are aware of recently is the audaci
" Of some of the "bummers' in establishing daily
rival to the Free Press and forcing that sngularly
snterprising periodical to an unwonted outlay for
kilograms. l.
We would suggest TO the Free Press that if any 7
Northern man comes down here and is guilty of any
undue assumption of superiority the best policy for
the editor is not TO getImad and scod about it, as
hs childish spasms viii not help the matter, and f
NAV make him ridiculous. The bombsstc assump- /
ton on the part of certain set of Southern men
now mostly numbered among the extinct fossils I
TO chivalry and aristocracy, have for many years
been matter for ridicule and merriment to Northern
men, but we never heard that any of them got
angry about it; and if sny man, North South, t,
makes fool of himself the holding Of his nose upon
the grindslone of quiet contempt the best remedy
They are small animals and not large ones, that h
are all their lives in terror lest some should
4 .v,l
ming about the streets with the complaint that some g
one has been looking down upon him, we are apt O
to think that he has been very properly looked o
down upon. o
The threat of the Fee Press that these impudent
interlopers' shall be discountenanced, frowned is
down and expelled the country, viii brighten no Il
one These men have been in the habit of travel it
ing from Maine TO California and saying what
they pleased. Most of them were fighting the rebel
friends Of the editor of the Free Press while he
skulkirg at home finding refuge in Northern
city, and they have not come here TO eat dirt
At the bidding of any one. They have settled here
because they like the country the climate and the n'
loyal people, and they consider that they able 81
10 take care of themselves, They have come with -
iut the license appreciation of the Rip Van Win
ais of the Free Press of its rebel friends and they 80
propose 10 stay here and TO exercise here every
IF their constitutional rights from first TO last p
peech, free thought, and free writing included vi
We much fear that il the editor aforesaid or his
do not like the society of Northern pr
men, the former parties will have 10 leave as the an
after do not propose 10. LIE
Finally, we recommend 10 the Free Pres, a Coz
curse Of nourishing diet cooling drinks and mild foT
onies together with q. Of a certain fragrant drug
which is said 20 be peculiarly adapted to asy hy,
srical symptoms like his; aud If this our grstui-
QUE prescription s unsuccessful our reward shall
e the consciousness that we have benefited our
eighbor and absted nuisance