Abbeville press. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1860-1869, 1867-10-04

ecution of transportation bonds, may be
forfeited to the United States. Assessc %
and collectors are strictly enjoinsd to rig
idly enforce the provisions of this section.
ROME AFRAID OF A JOKE
"Mark Twain," tho California hu-
morist, is travelling in Europe. He
was at Civita Vecchia, in the Papal
domiuions, lately and describes his
treatment as follows:
GAIL this country is presided over
by the Pope. They do not appear to
have any schools here, and only, one
billiard table. Their education is at
very low stage. One portion of
the men 60 into the military, another
into tho priesthood, a third into the
sboemakiug business, and the balance
LAY around They keep up the pass
port system here yet; but so thoy do
in Turkey. This shows that Turkey
is not a whit more enlightened than
the Papacy, whatever malignant vii
!ains may say to the contrary. l had
to get my passport vlsed in Florence,
and then they would not let me come
ashore here from Leghorn till a de-
graded policeman had examined it on
the wharf, and sent me permit.
They did not even dare to let me
take my passport in my hands for
twelve hours, looked 30 formidable.
They judged it best to let me cool
down, They thought I wanted to
take the town. likely. But SUCH was
not my desire-not if 1 had chance
to swap off and take the small pox,
uny how. They examined my bag
gage at the depot q while ago. They
passed my shirts, but they held on
to my tooth. brush, so as to lay it be-
fore the Board of Commissioners, and
let them find out what it is tor, and
whether there is any harm in it or
not. This was unfortunate, because
l borrowed it from my shipmate, who
is particular about his teeth to an ex.
tent which is ridiculous. And they
took one Of my ablest jokes Git was
one of those extraordinary conun-
drums which l get up sometimes)\ and
read it over carefully, and then read
it again; and finally turned it around
and read it in the wrong way. But
it was too deep for them. They han
ded it around, and every body ci-
pbered at it o while; but it was no
use. They all had to pass. 1t was
no common joke. At last one of the
Oldest Of tho officers, apparently, and
certainly one Of the most abandoned
and ignorant men have ever looked
upon, spelled it over very slowly and
laboriously and then shook his head
three or four times: and aaid that in
his opinion, it was seditious. That
was tho first time I was alarmed.
Immediately said would explain the
document, and they crowded around.
And SO in that sweltering place I ex-
planned, and perspired and perspired
and explained, with mycoat of, and
they took notes Of all I said but the
more I explained, the more, they
couldn't understand; aud when they
,desisted at last snd summed up their
notes, I couldn't understand &c my
self They said; they believed it
was an incepdisry document leveled
at the government. declared it
was not; but they only shook their
heads, aud wonld not be satisfied.
And then they cousulted, and consul.
ted, and consalted q good while, and
finally they conhscated it. 1 cannot
tell how much I was grisved, be.
cause 4 had worked . long tine ION
that johe, ,snd took Is good dsai of
|ptide in #, and now ! shsll meyer SEQ
|it any more. IssupposS itst lswalf Bs'
sent up and ,stowed !awsy among the
criminal archives Of Rome, ana will
always sbe regarded AZ q mysssrie6s,
Internal meaehips, zach which would hare
blown up like Q mine, snd scattered
tHafgoM Ripsssih aIodnae, bag g;sSs
b. miraculous Proyidasnsial iatsrtsr-
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