Democratic enquirer. [volume] (M'arthur, Vinton County, Ohio) 1867-1873, 1867-05-16

with marbled backs, and with pictures
in them of men with swallow tailed coats
and bell-croWned hats, and psntaloOns
that are short in the legs, and women
with the waists of their dresses under
their arms and no hoops on. Nothing
like it in any Of the Sunday school books,
Once he stole the teaohers's penknife,
and when he was afraid itwould be found
out, and he would got whipped, he slip
ped it into George Wilson's Cap-pOor
widow Wilson's son, the moral boy, the
good little boy OF the village. who always
obeyed his mother, and never told an
untruth, and was fond Of his lessons,
and infatuated with Sunday Schools
And when the knife dropped from the
cap, and poor George hung his head and
bluahed, as if in conscious guilt, and the
grieved teacher charged the theft upon
him, and was just in the very act Of
bringing the switch down upon his trem>
bling shoulders, white haired impfoba-
Bile justice Of the peace did not suddenly
appear in their midst and strike an atti-
tude and say, Spare this noble boy
there stands the covering culpritI l
was passing the school door at recess,
and, unseen myself, / saw the theft com.
smitted.' And then Jim didn't get
whaled, and the venerable justice didn't
read the fearful school homily, and take
George by the hand and say such boy
deserved to be exalted, and then tell him
to come and make his home with him,
and sweep out the Office, and make fires,
and run errands, and chop wood, and
study law, and help his wife to do house
hold laborp, and have all the balance oi
the time to play.
No, il would have happened that way
in the books, but ii didn't happen that
way to Jim. No meddling old clam Of q
justice dropped in to make trouble, and
SO the model boy, George, got thrashed,
and Jim was glad Of it. Because, you
know, Jim hated moral boys. Tim said
he was down on them milkSops.' Such
was the coarse language of this bad,
neglected boy. But the straDgest things
that ever happened to Jim was the time
when he went boating on Sunday and
didn't get drowned, and that other time
that he got caught out in the storm when
he was fishing on Sunday, and didn't
get struck by lightning. Why, you
isht look, and look, through the Sun,
day School books from now till next
Christmas, aud you would never come
across anything like this. Oh, no-you
would find all the bad boys who go boat.
ing on Sunday Invariably get drowned,
and all the bad boys who get caught OuI
in storms, when they are fishing On'Sun-
day, invariably get struck by lightning.
Boats with bad boys in them always up
set on Sunday, and it always storms when
bad boysgo fishing on the Sabbath. How
this Jim ever escaped is mystery to me,
This Jim bore a charmed life-that must
have been the way of it. Nothing could
hurt him. He even gave the elephant
il the managarie plug of tobacco, and
the elephant didn't knock the top Of his
head off with his trunk. He browSod
around the cupboard after essence Of
peppermint, and didn't make q mistake
and drink aqua fortis.
He stole his fathers gun and went
hunting on the Sabbath, and didn't shoot
three or four fingers of. He struck his
little sister on the temple with his fist
when he was angry, and she didn't linger
in pain through long summer days and
Gle with sweet words Of fOr1iviness upon
her lips that redOubled the anguish Of
his breaking heart. No--she got over
it. He ran off and went to sea at last
and didn't come back and End himself
sad and alone in the world, bis loved
ones asleep 10 the quiet churchyard, and
the vine embowerod home ofhis boyhood
tumbled down and gone to decay. All,
no; he came home drunk as piper, and
got into the station house the first thing.
And he grew up, and married and raised
large family, and Drained them all with
the ak one night, and got wealthy BY all
manner of cheating and rascality, and
now ne is the infernalist wickedest scoun-
drel in his native village, and is uhiver-
sail respected, and belongs to the Legls.
lature. So you see there never was q
bad James in the Sunday School books
that had such streak of luck as this
sinful Jim with the charmed life. o