The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1867-03-14
Posr OFFIs, CoNFEDRIT X RoADs, I
which is in the Stait Nv Kentucky J
.ise Feb. IL, 1867.

a
PosT OFFIs, CoNFEDRIT X RoADs, I =,
(Which is in the Stait Nv KentuckyO
.8s Feb. IL, 1867.
II wuz crooel necessity, after all,
wich druv me into the servis NV His
Eggslency A. johnson. Crooel, say,
for whenever he hez partikerly mean
piece nv work to perform, suthin so in
expressibly sneakin that Seward nor
Randall won't undertake it, they alluz
send for me, Wells is alluz wiIIin, but
while he has the disposition to do any
thin in the line, he lacks the ability.
The others, however, hev the ability TO
do anythin and the disposition to do
most things, and therefore / hey bin
employed in only extreme cases.
The success wieh attended McCrack-
ems mission, endin ez it did in the re-
sinin Nv Motley, stimulated Seward to
prosecute similar researches into the
actual opinions nv. the home crop NV
offisers regardin him and his, and my
sooperior, A, johnson. Randall wuz
applied to to take tour among Post
masters and sicb. He declined the mis-
sion Indignantly, with the remark, ''Is
thy servant dog, or the son nv dog,
that he shood do this Thing? :" And ez
Wells isn't trusted out NV Washington
any more, / wuz sent for. .', ~ ll. ~ 7.
The biznis required NV me wuz statid
by Seward in his yoosual lucid style.
1t wuz merely to cirkelate incognitO
(Which is Latin for sneakin) among the
recently appinted offs holders and ass
ertain their irvlews upon general politikle
topics, but more especially their feelin
toward the President and Sekertary Nv
State. Jest ez | wuz startin, not at all
pleased with the mission, Welles put in
his oar. He wuz agoin to to give me
instructions ez to what 1 wuz to do
Wells is lnnatick | never could abide,
and felt Tiny duty to witber him.
Trans6xin the venerable Sekertary with
one of my most piercenist gazes, / re-
marked. "Sir! in imitatashen nv the
man who inflicted yoo upon this coun-
try, wich wuz not the least nv his >acts
for'wich the country c1sses him, / pro-
pose to relate little anecdote.- There
wuz wunst man who wuz inebriatid,
and that he might present hisselt in a
state approximatlng sobriety to the pard-
ner Nv his buzzum,he wuz essayin to
yolnit, tryin thus to ease his stumick nv
the cause Nv the onpIeasantnis therein,
but he coodent do it. He heaved and
heaved, but ther wuz no result. AT
this. criticize period another man ap-
preached, who remarked kindly that, ef
he desired TO vomit, his best holt wood
beto run his finger down his throat.
The drunkin ildividooal looked up In
digpant at this unwarranted interference
with his constooshnel rites r., 80 tai
"Blast your eyes, sir" sed he, Tar,
you or me bossin this yer puke." @,sli.,- & "
aa"This, Sekretary Welles, is the anec.
dote. l respeck the posishun yooho
and dislike sayin anythin disagreeable
but, sir, this is a puke, and / perpose t
boss it myself "9asla z as 1o'Fgi a'ia7
l startid to wunst, and fonnd thing
in a highly mixed condition. The fol
lowin is compiled from my reports: II
Moo York the Postmasters generally arr
sound. The crops were poor last year
and all kinds NV biznis is bein dull, tht
Postmasters are generally anxious Il
hold on. They are, therefore, ont
spoken in their support Nv the coz
Them ez wuz men uvigood standin an6
religiously inclined, before the rnpchel
between the President and the party
which redoost him, say but very little
in public, and that little they don't say
very long. eisHoE = % 1880 NJ
They generally can't see that .ther Il
any partikeler difference between til,
Presidentsrplan and the plan Nv Con.
gress, and 'ther. bein 50 little Congress
ought to yield for the sake Nv peace
The Dimocrats holdin sich places arr
| loud enough in suppprtiny the Admins,
trashen, but good HeavensI the en-.
6erssment Nv sict men is too heavy a
load for any party to carry. Now, that
EI4hink Nv it, / hev at last solved the
mystery nv our widespread defeat last