The Portland daily press., 1867-09-18
Varieties.


I'VE would like to see the day." says the
Evening Journal of Chicago, "when Senators
of the United States will no more tolerate
drunken mau in their chamber than they
would viper in their beds" Echoing this
wish the New York Tribune adds: Against
the honor and the dignity of the nations legis-
lature, drunkenness is treason. A sot, in Sem
ate or House, is in every sense a national hu-
initiation" s.4 .sf.. ...---1
-"What would you be, dearest" said Walter
to his sw eetheart "if were to press the seal of
love on those sealing-wax lips?' Il would be
stationery" -......,.... ttie.r. .t...l .-E
"A good physician in Gloucester-who died
several years since-told friend in confidence
that be often administered pills made of brown.
bread soaked in paragOric, to that class of pa
tients who were always imagining themselves
sick. The pills satisfied such patients and
did them no harm, while it added greatly to
the reputation OF the good old doctor.
The Chickasaws have separate govern
ment. A few years ago their legislature abro-
gated all existing laws and passed new code.
They sent the new manuscript laws into Texas
to be printed, without retaining copy. The
messenger lost them while fording river, and
they never were recovered. The courts were
in muddle which would have surprised Ste
phen Blackpool himself, until q new legislature
supplied the deficiency.
An attempt to introduce the vulgar and
wicked practice ofhazing gintoAmherst College
has been promptly and sharply rcbuked by the
officers. Several members of the Sophomore
class were detected in annoying and violent
treatment of the freshmen, and have been dis
missed from the institution.
Once, in Kansas court, in the year 1867
an attorney for the defence took his cigar from
his mouth, and behind a huge puff of smoke
objected to certain testimony on the other side
as inadmissable. The Justice gravely replied:
"rhe Court sustains the objection and rules
that the question cannot be asked at this stage
of the game" The inference was that "the
court" played poker.
The infant and only son of Richard S. Spof-
ford and wife Harriet E. Prescott, the author)
died at Newburyport last week.
Tho depraved correspondent Of an English
paper suggests that, even if General Prim is at
the bottom of the insurrection in Spain, It
would be ''primature" to prophesy its success.
"A story is told of brawny raftsm an who
approached the Southern Hotel in St. Louis
JasC as the excitement over the reception of
General Sheridan was at its climax. He asked
bystander what it was all about. The man
being bit of wag, and seeing that the RATS
man was little unsohpsticated, replied: ut Is
n great celebration in honor or McCoole. Tho
-rsIIsman IInmouIateTy became hignIy IuJerest-
ed, and exclaimed, "Whatl the man that licked
Jones? I must see him anyhow" and he
pressed forward. Just then his eyes fell upon
little man that was speaking, and he asked
another spectator-'Is that him?" That's
him." was the reply, thinking he spoke of She
ridan. The big timber driver looked at the
speaker fixedly for half minute and then
said, "WalI, if that's McCoole, Aaron jones
amt worth cuss. Call such little squirt of
man fighterl" and so saying he turned away
in evident disgust.
-Littell's Living Age introduces shooting
Niagara and After" with the following curious
note: "This article is by Carlyle. 1t has made
much talk 1t is the utterance of the leading
prophet of Toryism - Absolutism = Slavery.
We cannot in any other way so well justify
ourselves for leaving it out of the Living Age
as by putting it in. So we copy it from Mac
millan's Magazine" daa..
"A startling sensation in the way ofs muir
der comes to us from Philadelphia. Two girls,
or women, (their ages are not given), named
Rachel and Mary Jones, become angry with
little girl four years Of age, living next door,
because she has called them "old maids" and
fling cakes and peaches, rolled in strychmine,
over into the yard that the child may eat and
die of them. The deliberate murder follows
precisely as planned, and the sisters who COM
mitted it coolly tell other persons, You need
not call us old maidsfo we don't get e,lled old
maids any more; it makes us mad when you
call us old maids" Here is a set of circum-
stances hardly to be matched. The cool atroci-
ty of the deed and the novelty of its impelling
cause, are worthy of the careful attention OF
Miss Braddon and Alexandra Dumas. 1t is an
awful warning of the wickedness and danger
of calling woman an "old maid" We are not
sure but it deserves to be preserved along with
tiat other record of infant depravity concern
ing fhe prophet, the bears, and 60 up thou
bald beadp' ...
Caroline Beecher, Beecher who, besides
being Beeeher, has written COOKBOOK and
,me other things. has come out an Episcopa-
li,n. In an explanatory letter she charges all
her brothers with having abandoned the hne
old or rthodox tenet of infant damnation, and
takes this shy at H. w. b. in particular;
aThen our younger brother, both as minister
and editor, has rejected the theecv OF infant de-
pravity and the whole system based =" IT,
A CORES pondent of the Boston Advel +iser
has visited tire Haunted House at Water
town." concerning which Mr.. Edmund Kirke
Gilmore re-appropriately designated by the Bos-
ton Transcript as "the Munchausen of Ameri-
can literature" published in Harperis
Monthly such marvellous statements This
correspondent has spent night in the house,
with every facility for ghost seeing, and has
been unable to get up so much as "thrill"
He nropounces the statements in the Harper
article pure fabrications, not only with regard
to the alleged mysterious sights and sounds
but also so far as they relate to the former oc-
cupants of the house, and characterizes in very
severe terms the conduct of Mr.. Gilmore in
accusing in widely circulated magazine an ar
ticle a gentleman who died only some half
score. of years ago, and whose children are now
living, of two of the most horrible crimes Of
which man can be guilty, and all without
the slightest regard to the facts in the case.
The price of telegraphing in Switzerland
is to be reduced one half. After next January
a message may be sent anywhere within the
country for half franc.
-"Katrina; Her Life and Nine" Timothy
Titcomb's new poem, will be published by
scribner s. Co., ON Saturday next, septem-
ber M.
"A correspondent of the New York Times
writing from Nova Scotia says the people
talk openly and favorably of annexation 20 the
United States. r
An usher in an English school, seeing one
Of the BOYS with a thick lump Id one OF his
cheeks. asked "Quid est hoop To which the
lad scattering out a large piece of chewing
tobacco replied, "Hoc est quid," for which re-
rartee the master forgave him.
in the September number of Macmillan's
Magazine there is an article by Professor Blair,
which is likely to attract general attention
from metaphysicians on both sides of the At
lantic. 1t is entitled " On the Correlation of
Force in its Bearing ON Mind"
The London Morning Star, speaking Of the
political struggle in this country, says: "2he
obstinacy of the President is great, Vat the
people who fought and won the batse for iree-
dom are equally determined, ahd the "noie
h;ato-x, ,>f tho atrucgla taacbos that the peO-