davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1867-06-19

WHAT \ DUTCHMAN SAW IN A SAW
MTLL.-Irwin's steam saw-mill, which is
fine one, is place of resort for sight
seers. Not long ago, a German citizen
walked into the mill and watched the
progress Of the big circular saw with
much interest. Its rapid motion fasci-
mated him, and stepping up, he applied
the index finger Of his right hand to the
i l-defned periphery, when, much to his
surprise, the end Of the finger disappcard
at the second joint. Very placidIy he
bonded up the stump. just then Mr..
Irwin entered, and the victim of mis-
placed confidence accosted him thus:
Mr.. Irwin, 1 comes to see your mills.
Inever comes to see your mills before
So l dakes mine finger like bis quitting
the index finger of his left hand to the
saw to feel him; and mein Got" The
unlucky German, III explaining the first
mishap touched the saw with his left
forcfnger, which dropped off near the
knuckle. Turning to the proprietor, in
almost spccchless amazement, he finally
stammcrcd out =" Mr.. Irwin, comes
to see your mills [ haf not seen him
before; I will go away and I never will
want to see him anV more "
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1867-06-19

SouE say the quickest way to destroy
" rc}s is to marry a widow. 1t is
no doubt most agreeable species Of
hgs5uLdyy.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1867-06-19

Thisncw House. being furnished and fitted up in a
style equal TO any n the city, is open for the
Cummodltion of the travelling public.
The House is centrally located and convenient to
the business part of the city and pains viii be spa
red to makc guests comfortable.
Omuibussrs win be in attendance to and from the
Cars.
When you visit the city please give the CLIFTON
a call. WA. GARRISON, PrOp'r.
JAS. GARRISON. elk. (2Gl 3m)
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1867-06-19

KEEP CLEAR OF TIE DOCTORs.-A
gentleman of fortune visited a 1unatic
asylum, where the treatment consisted
chiefly in forcing the patients to stand
in tubs Of cold water-those slightly
affected up to the knees others, whose
cases were grayer, up to the middle,
where persons seriously i'll were i'm
mersed up to the neck. The visitor en-
tered into conversation with one of the
patients, who seemed to have some Gu
riOsity to know how the stranger passed
his time out of doors.
81 have horses and greyhounds for
coursing, " said the latter, in reply to
the others question.
"AhI they are very expensive?"
eyes, they cost me a great deal of
money III the year, but they are the best
Of their kind"
"Haye you anything more ?"
4 have a pack Of hounds for hunting
the fox"
"And they cost a great deal, too ?''
GA great deal. And I have birds for
hawking"
II see; birds for hunting birds. And
these swell up The expense, I dare say?"
"You may say that, for they are not
common in this country; And then I
sometimes go out with my gun, accom-
panied by a setter and retriever"
"And these are expensive, too?"
"Of course; After all it is not the
animals Of themselves that run away
with the money; there must be men,
you know, to feed and look after them;
houses to lodge them in-in short, the
whole sporting establishment"
u see, Isee! You have horses, hounds,
settlers, retricvers, hawks, men-and all
for the capture offoxes and birds. What
an enormous revenue they must cost
you. Now what I want to know is this:
what return do they pay? What does
your years sporting produce?
"Why, we kill fox now and then
only they are getting rather scarce here
abouts-and We seldom bag less than
fifty brace of birds each season"
"Hark!' said the lunatic, looking
anxiously around him. "AIy friend -
in an earnest whispor-"thcre is a gate
behind you take my advice, and get
out of this while you are safe. Don't
let the Doctor get his eyes upon you
He ducks us to some purpose, but as
sure as you are living man he will
drown you
The gentleman looked serious as he
passed on. Perhaps he thought he
was as mad as the inmate of the asYlum.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1867-06-19
VOLUME VI NO. 13.
URBANA UNION.
j. W. u0 Uz, PHoP'E-

OFFICE:-Champaign National aTkBuil4ing'
(secOnd and third dOOs,} " NostsldeNoFtH MAIL
street near the Square.
TERMs:-S2 90 per annum1 inYarlapLy IN au-
yatce. 81, ,25 fOrSiI Months.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1867-06-19

WHOLESALE AND RETAIL,
sol BROADWAY, II. 2.
In addition TO our main business OF PHOTOGRAPH
IC MATERIALS we are Headquarters Of the follow
ug, viz.
.0TEREO0G0PE8 ( 8TEBE00C0PIC VIEWS
OF American and Foreign Cities and Landscapes.
Groups, Statuary, etc.
STERE1SGgPlg VIEWS OF TIE WAR,
From negatives made in the yariOus campaigns and
forming complete Photographic history Ofthe great
contest.
StereOscoPiC Views on Glass,
Adapted for either the Magic Lantern or the SterCo-
scope. Our Catalogue viii be sent TO any address on
receipt Of Stamp.
PHOTOGRAPHIC ALBUMS.
We manufacture more largely than any otherh house,
about 2l0 varieties from 80 cents 70 80 each Our
ALBUMS have the reprtdtiou OF being superior in
beauty and durability 10 any others.
Card Photographs of Generafs, Statesmen,
Actors, ETC., etc.
Our Catalogue embraces over FIVE THOUSAND
different subjects neutrality-suspicious. Ofthe most
celebrated EHETayings, Paintings Statues ETC. Cata-
lOgucs sent on receipt Of stamp.
Photographers and others ordering goods c. o. D.,
Will please remt25 per cent of the amount with their
order.
- The prices and quality -four goods scannotfai
to satisfy. n22I-ly.
The Van Buren press., 1867-07-26
Bu,ise, u, srisSorings.
Not a Laugh was Heard.


someboiy, whose bachelor friend has " l.cl
and gone" and go, married. tells all abou; it. il
the following pOctieal style
Not laugh was heard, nor a Joyous note.
As cur friend TO the bridal we hurried
Not Wit discharged his farewell shot,
As the bachelor went to be married.
We married. him quickly, TO save his fright
k',s- heads from the sad sight turning;
And we sighed, as we stood by the lamps din
light,
To think he was no, more discerning.
To think that bachelor free and bright,
And shy Of the sex as we found him.
Should there at the altar. at dead Of night,
y, cansh. in he s!.:.ss Tia. bound i,iin.
Few and short were the words we said
Though Divine and cake partaking
We escorted him home from the scene OF dread,
While his knees were awfully shaking.
Slowly and sadly we marched him down,
From the first to the lowermost story,
And we never have heard or seen the poor man
Whom we lef alone in his glory.
The Van Buren press., 1867-07-26
Van Buren, Ferry.

TNllE old, long established and well-known
Il Ferry. at Van Buren, Ark, is now in the
exclusive charge and control of the UNDER
signed, who has had charge of It for many
years. lie has recently put in service n NEW
BOAT builtby him expressly for this Ferry.
and employed careful, experienced and COM
petent terrymen. Travellers are assured that
at this Ferry they will have safe crossing
over the Arkansas River, and will meet with
no detention. ..,.. .,Ia
.rfar WM Il. ENGLAND.
The Van Buren press., 1867-07-26
DRUGS and Medicines.

TODFRY'S Cordial; Bateman's Drops; Laudi
II nam, Paregorc, McLane's and Fahnestocks
Vurnifuge McIane's, Lees, Ayers and Shallen
burgers Pills; Pain Killer; Spadings Glue; Muci
lage: Browns Ess Ginger Sedlits Powders; Copa
Varnisb; Spt's Turpentine l.insced Oil; Sp
Salts; i.ampback Marking Brushes; Bottle Oorks
Indigo; Madder; Coppcms; Concentrated Lye
Ext Logwood; Yeast Powders, &c, &c For sale
bv &C. SCOTT T. co.
The Van Buren press., 1867-07-26
A Lecture TO Young Men.

just Published, in a Sealed Envelope Pn*
ak cents. A Lecture on the Nature, Treatmen',,
and Radical Cure of SpcrmatorrhGa, or Sem'M,' ~,
Weakness, Involuntary Emissions, Sexual DeolIf
ty, and lmpediments TO Marriage generally. Ner,,
ousness, Consumption, Epilepsy, and Fits; Menu sa
ana hi Physical ln%earacity, resulting rom d. B.
Author Of the Green Book" DC. Al,
The world renowned author, In this admi.so%
Lecture, clearly proves from his own expere"sS,' y
that theawfu consequences of Self Abuse my .;s n
cffectually removed without medicine, and w,a
out dangerous surgical operations, bougies ln.sl
ments, rings, or cordials, pointing ont q moo. y
cure at once certain and eiFectua, by which svu; Wv
sufferer, no matter what his condition may pe M n".
cure lrnself cheaply, privately, and rsdics!d IA
This Lecture will prove boon to thousand' wv
thousands, .yl.,
Send under seal to any address, in plain ~, ~
ed envelope, on the receipt Of six cents Of .", ~
postage stamps Also Dr. Cuve,wcll's" Mar.s.
enide, rr:ec IS cents. Address the pue!,S,",V' y
CHAS, J. G. KLINE & CO., l27 Bowerry NJ
Post Office pox 1855.
The Van Buren press., 1867-07-26
A War Wanted.

NENlAN or any other; or an expedition
l. to the plains, to enable Us to close ont
consignment of Ir ."tTp IAN ,
w army SIX mule wagons complete
loo camp Kettles 100 mess pans
80 sctts harness 200 lbs harness leather.
viii he closed ont at low rates war OF, no
Wat, b, SCOTT q GO,
Van Durcn. June %. '
The Van Buren press., 1867-07-26
Wanted 80 Saw Logs.
AT THE
Van Buren, Agricultural Works.

INIIE Van Buren, Agricultural Works want
j an unlimited number of saw stocks
They will contract ioruny quantity delivered
at the river bank in laftsor delivered by wag-
on at their Steam Saw Mill upper end fthc
City Wharf. Stocks ofany Kind of Lumber.
such as Pine. Cedar, Oak Cherry, Walnut.
Gum, Cottonwood, &c, wanted. Persons
wishing to contract will address ivan Bnrcn
Agricultural Works" or apply in person at
the Office of the works.
HAYMAN & SCOTT.
Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1867-08-23
FROM WASHINGTON.
Rcmoual Of Gen. Sheridan -Jr3ge Hofs
Case-RuDaoral Cabinet Changes Goa.
Popc's Letter 10 General GralR-dfars
IN Georgja and Alabama.

WASHINGTON, August 19-Gen. Grant
Is preparing an official order relieving Sher.
idan, who is to command the Department
of Missouri Thomas takes Sheridan S
place, and Hancock is relieved from Mis-
souri, Department and given Thomas po-
stion
Gen. Grant is still opposing Sheridan 5
removal, but it is known that in the event
of It's taking place, he would rather Thorn
as had the position than any other. Thorn
as is a strong republican, but not as incisive
in his acts as Sheridan is.
The President first contemplated putting
General Hancock in Shcridans S place; but
he said it would look too much like parti-
san act, Hancock being Democrat Hence
the substitution of Thomas
1t appears to be an error that the Cabi
net has decided to sustain the President in
relieving Judge Holt from his head as chief
of the Bureau of Military Justice. As
Judge Holt is an army officer and liable to
be ordered anywhere in the regular army,
his transfer by Executive order Is not nee
essarily subject for Cabinet consultation.
Pending the issuance Of this order, Judge
Holt has been granted leave of absence
which lie intends not to avail himself Of.
1t is stated in Washington paper, on
information derived from an official source,
that in spite Of the reiterated stories, there
is no truth in further cabinet designations
or suspensions, at least the President knows
nothing Of them, and the gentlemen named
as intending to resign deny the rumors,
which, after all, originate with the clique
who are getting up dissenslons to get Secre-
tary Seward and McCulIoch out.
General Pope has written lengthy letter
to Gen. Grant, complaining Of the speech
of B. II. Hill, Of Georgia, and declaring
that no reconstruction is possible so long as
such influence is prevalent, was laid before
the President to- day, and otherwise made
public. 1t creates decided sensation, and
considerable interest is manifest as to what
action the Government will take In the
premises. In General Pope's opinion no
reconstruction can be satisfactory, or at all
reliable in its future results, if these men are
permitted to discuss openly, according to
their nature, the issues presented. 1t is
better the country should know the truth
on this subject now than run the risk Of
| learning hereafter that an irreparable mis-
take had been made in the plan and execu-
Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1867-08-23
run SALEM JOURNAL roRGERY


Two weeks ago we called attention TO a
forgery, then being extensively copied into
the Copperhead papers of the State, con
tanning a scurriIous attack upon the Penn
sylvanians, accredited to the Salem MASS. }
Journal There is no such paper as the
Salem Journal in existence The forgery
is said to have originated with the Patri0t
and Union, disreputabls Copperhead
sheet of the Gazette stripe, published at
Harrisburg. Last week, after the forgery
had been discovered and branded broad cast
throughout the State, the Gdzcttc copies
the infamous slander as originally published
and wilfully gives currency to it, kaoioii'g
hat Il loas a forgery. What is to be said
Of the journalist who thus wilfully and ma
iciously publishes to the world matter that
he knows to be false. There is no apology
for this sort Of moral perjury. A journalist,
whatever his party proclvities, should have
respect enough for the persons who read his
journal, not to wilfally mislead them and
make them his dupss and the laughing
STOCK OF tnOSe WHO TCdI IeIlaulC JOui h"l1'
This is the common fate of the readers of
the Gazeite. There is not a loud -mouthed
Copperhead in the county but has been
laughed out of countenance upon his citing
some huge fabrication which he had swal-
lowed from the Gazette and yet the editor
Of that paper will prostitute its columns
week after week to such base uses. The
following qneade honorable, taken from the
Pittsburg Post, of August 18th, the leading
Democratic paper of Western Pennsylvania,
sounds like honorable journalism
''IT appears from respectable sources that
the story in relation to the great income OF
Chief Justice CHASE, acquired since the war
and through the influence of his position as
Secretary of the Treasury, and the story
rejecting upon the State ofPennsylvania and
credited to the Salem Journal, were mere IN
ventons. The Democracy have so much that
is true to charge upon the party in power that
it is not worth while to be diverted in the pur-
suit of trifles.
Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1867-08-23
ApIurANr GENERAL RUSSELL.

Our friend and former townsman, Gen.
A. L. Russell, arrived in town few. days
ago, and purposes spending some time with
his friends in this place. His frank and ge-
NAL manner, and fine social qualities make
him general favorite with all who have
the good fortune to make his acquaintance,
His term as Adiutant General will expire
in October, when he viii retire from the du-
ties of that Office with the good wishes Of
every soldier and soldiers friend in the
state. His untiring zeal during the dark
hours of rebellion, in organizing and for
warding soldiers to the various armies, will
make an important part of Pennsylvania
record of that trying time, and his unwear-
led exertions in providing for the wants of
the private soldier, caring for him in sick
ness and trouble, and promptly righting his
wrongs, when robbed OF cheated by bounty
brokers or dishonest officials, viii long keep
his memory green in the hearts of thou
sands Of our brave soldiers. As an instance
OF his promptness in this respect, we clip the
following from one of, our exchanges whose
editor we believe was an eyewitness to part
if not all of the action, as was one of the
editors of this paper
Gen. Russell has been an able and faithful
officer. All through the war he was in de-
fatigable in the discharge Of his duties, al
ways proving the soldier friend, and ter
TOR to bounty brokers and every species OF
| land sharks who preyed upon the soldier.
| To no one IN public position do the soldiers
owe deeper debt of gratitude, for unwearied
| abors in their behalf Aud whilst the true
| soldier always found friend in him, the
| bounty broker and speculator found IN him
! their boldest and most uncompromising oppo-
nent. We shall never forget the raid Gen.
Russell once made on a band Of Williams, who
| had located on Market street, in the city OF
! Harrisburg, during the darkest days Of the
war. A young soldier who had been swim
| died by the sharpers, informed Gen. Russell
| Of the fact 1t aroused the indignation oi
| his heart, and though they numbered four
armed and desperate men, yet single e-handed
and alone he confronted them in their den,
and such was the power of his stern rebuke
and his commanding presence, that they
| quailed like guilty towards, as they were,
disgorged their ill-gotten gains and precipi'
lately fed from the city. The soldier boy re-
cOFeFeu MS HOuSgS auu AZ IedsL QUE set ol
scoundrels were driven from the field.
We give this merely as a specimen of his
constant watchfulness and jealous care ovel
| the soldier and his interests. There was il
| Gen. RusselFs course no noisy profession
no glittering distractions, but practical, con,
slant and quiet efforts, to advance the sol
| diers welfare.
We prize his report for 1866 for its fulness
its faithfulness, and for the proud record i
bears to the chivalry of the Keystone State
1t is a book that for all time, viii be acknowl
! edged record, an official standard, author
lively declaring the patriotism, the bravery
! the suiieriDga and the triumphs, the power
and the crowning glory ofPennsylyania in the
| war for the Union.
Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1867-08-23

fnE receipts Of internal revenue for the
week were SO, ,263 $40.
The Herald says JEFF. Davis recently said
IN conversation, that Tennessee will proba
bly, inaugurate war ofthe races, and he DO.
lieved there gas no other course open for
the whites other than to discharge the radical
blacks from their employment. AS TO the
proposition that it would be well 70 put a few
negroes in Office for the purpose Of creating
reaction Of feeling against them, be said
that it might do as matter Of spite, but would
be bad precedent.
The MExlcAS GoyERSaEXT still refuses to
deliver up the body of Macmillan to Austria.
What object they have in retaining the corpse
is hard to determine, save il be 10 set at def
ance the powers or the relatives Of the dead
Emperor on the European continent
TIE RAIN sToBNs 10 England still continue
aud the crop prospects 50 brilliant and prom.
sing aud are now very gloomy, as great dam.
age has been done and the end is not yet.
Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1867-08-23
IRISH and segroes.

Many persons have ben puzzled to know
why Democratic paper Of a certain class
should be always harling on the negro.
In slavery or freedom itmakes no difference,
the negro is their co,stant theme. The
problem is worked outin Tennessee The
Memphis Aralaache, advocating the turn
ing off of colored laboers who at the late
election may have ytted the Republican
ticket and urging the employment of Irish
laborers in their stead assign as weighty
reason for the exchange that the Irish can
be depended on to vote the Democratic
ticket, as their employers may desire.
This sort of speaking out was justly
offensive to the Irisl of Memphis, at least
so far as to bring out an indignant reioinder
from one of them, who says
at is simply saying that though the
high toned Southerl gentleman finds it i'm
possible to buy the soul Of the poor, miser-
able, degraded, long -heeled and thick head
ed Cuffy at the same time he purchases the
labor of his body yet the bargain can be
easily consummattd when the negotiation
is concluded with Patrick. In other words,
the Irishman is held up as man who viii
agree to vote where he works, and carry his
ballot in his wheelbarrow 1t viii take
some time to catcbsyen gudgeons, when
the hook is so bare; and think it would
require many such immigration documents
as that of the AUaianche to draw IN immi-
grafton from the Emerald Isle to the clas-
sic shore of tennessee.
But all the difference is that the South
ern paper speaks the thing out plainly,
which the Northern ones, of the like class,
carefully cherish without the pluck to name
it. IF the great body of Irishmen in the
North we're as sensible as the writer Of the
above, their countryman in Tennessee, they
would not relish being treated by these
demagogues as mere political cattle, whose
votes are sure for the Democratic ticket
when their employers deshe it, OF who have
no political knowledge, aspirations or prin-
ciples except opposition to the nagur. The
perpetual harping on the negro is fully ac-
counted for by the low estimate the leaders
have of the Irish. Some Northern Irish
man should take the pen, like the one in
Memphis, and show that they are not slarss
of the Democratic party, and that they are
not to be bought and held to that party by
perpetual anti negro talk. 49, Pittsburgh Conn.
/ merctGi
Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1867-08-23

| tion Of the reconstruction acts He need
scarcely repeat that reconstruction must be
| IN the spirit Of the acts of Congress, and TO
be permanent must be the acts Of the peo-
! pie themselves, after tho fullest and fTeest
| discussion Congress has done wisely in
| enabling them to make this fight BY disfran-
chising the leading rebels, aud at least ma
| king il impossible for them to vote or hold
| Office 1t would have been still better to en-
| force their permanent absence from the
country The personal influence they might
bring to bear if they were candidates il thus
| greatly weakened, and they are forced to
discuss issues, and not appeal TO personal
feeling in their favor. The General gives
his views at length, concluding as follows:
am confident that reconstruction will be
satisfactorily accomplished in this District,
| in spite Of the open and active opposition
| Of disloyal reacti0nlsts. | can safely say
| that Alabama will give 10000 majority Of
| the white votes for reconstruction. l think
| it may be said with almost centainty that
| Georgia will give a white majority in the
| same direction Not less than three fourths
| Of the colored vote in each of these States
/ will be cast for reconstruction The same
remarks are substantially true Of Florada.
! If have so earnestly invited your atten-
tion To the danger of opposite results, it
| has only been to furnish data to meet cases
Ito Justify the course | have thought it
judicious to pursue. All the facts that /
/ can hear upon these questions | shall con-
! tinue to report as they come to my knoWl-
| edge 1t is, however, my duty to state that,
! in my Judgment, the condition Of affairs in
! the Southern States, even should recon
| struetion be satisfactorily accomplished, viii
| Of necessity be a reproduction, in more or
less modified degree, of what now exists in
| Tennessee, unless some measures are adopt
| ed to free the country Of che turbulent aud
| disloyal leaders of the reactionary party.
| While these persons remain in the country
! to exercise the banclul influence they un-
| doubtedly possess, there can be no peace.
! believe that in Florida and Alabama the
| danger from this cause is less than in Geor-
| gia, but in all these States there is SO much
| danger Of the disorder and violence which
marks the daily history Of Tennessee that
/ ii would seem wise TO adopt what measures
are practicable to remove from the States
/ in process of reconstruction the cause which
now endangers the loyal government nTonn-
! essee. | do not venture TO suggest the rem
| edy for evils that may be developed. Such
matters merit, and no dout will, command
patient examination and careful action, and
! having laid before you facts, and my general
views on them, | consider my duty per-
| formed Your obedient servant.
JOHN POPE.