Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1867-09-04
JIM WOLFE AND THE TOM CATS
BY MARX TWAIN.

MS bald head-I knew by the thought
full look upon his face-I knew by the
emotional flush upon the strawberry on
the end OF the old free hver's nose, that
Simon Wheeler's memory was busy with
4 the oiden time. And so I prepared to
leave, because all these were symptoms of
a reminisence-sign that he was going
to be delivered of another of his tiresome
personal e1periences-but was too slow;
he got thesta of me. As nearly as I
can recolleet, the inhiction was couched
in the following language: .
i eve was all boys then, and didn't care
! for nothing only how to shirk school and
keep up revivin' state of deyilment all
the time. This var Jim Wolfe was
! talking about the was the prentice, and he
was the best hearted fellow, he was, and
the most fcrgivin' and onselfsh [ ever
see-well, there couldn't be more bullier
boy than what he was, take him how you
could, and sorry enough l was when l
see him for the last time
Me and Henry was always pestering
him, and plastering hoss bills on his back,
and putting humble bees in his bed, and
SO on, and sometimes we'd crowd in and
bunk with him, Notwithstanding his growl-
ing, and then we'd let on to get mad and
fight acrost HIM, SO as to keep him stirred
up like. He was nineteen he was, and
long, and lank, and bashful and we was
fifteen and sixteen, and toierably lazy and
worthless. @
$50 that night, you know, that my SIS
ter Mary gave the candy pullin' they star
ted us off to bed early, 80 as the company
could have full swing, and we rung IN on
Jim to have some fun.
| sour wlnder looked out onto the roof
of the ell, and about 10 O'clock couple
of old tomeasts got to raisin' and chargin'
around on it and carryin' on like sin.
There was four inches of snow on the
roof, and it was froze SO that there was
right smart crust Of ice on it. and the
moon was shining bright, and we could
see them cats like daylight: First they'd
stand off and yow-yow-yow, just the
same as if they was .cussin' one another,
you know, and bow up their back and
bush up their tails, and swell around and
| spit, and then all of sudden the gray cat
he'd snatch handful of fur off the yell
low cats ham, and spin him arou nd like
the button on barn door. But the yel-
low cat was game, and he came and cllnch,
and the way they'd gouge, and bite, and
howl, and the way they'd make the fur
| fly was powerful.
"Well, jim, he got disguised with the
row and lowed he'd climb out there and
shake 'em o4fsn the roof He hadn't
reely no notion of doin' it, likely, but e
everlastingly logged him and bullyragged
him, and loved he'd always Dragged how
he wouldn tax e dare, and so on, till
bimeby he histed up the winder, and 10
and behold you, he went-went exactly
as he was nothin' on but shirt, and it
was short. You ought to seen him cree
PIN over that ice, and diggin' his toe
nails and his finger nails in for to keep
him from slippin' and 'bove all, you
ought to seen that shirt hippin in the
wind, and them long ridicklous shanks Of
his n glistenin' in the moonlight.
"Them comp'y folks was down there
under the caves, the whole squad of NJ
under that ornery shed of dead Wash ton
Bower vines-all settin round about two
dezen sassers Of hot candy, which they'd
sot gin snow to cool. And they were
laughinf and talking lively; but bless you,
they didn't know, nothin' bout the pam
Drama that was goin' on over their heads.
| Well, Jim, he went sneakln' and a
sneakin' up, onbeknowns to them tomcats
they was switchin' their tails and
VOW -yowin' and threatenin' to clinch, you
know, and not payin' any attention-he
went asneakin' and a sneakin' right up
to the comb of the roof, till he was in
foot and half Of m, and then all of a
sudden he made grab for the yellow cat!
But, by gosh! he missed fire and slipped
his holt, and his heels few up and he
Topped on his back and shot off n that
roof like a dart!--went smashin' and
crashin' down thro' them old rusty vines
and landed right in the dead centre of all
them company people!-sot down like a
yearthquake in them two dozen sassers of
red hot candy, and let off howl that
was hark from the tomb! Them girls
well, they left, you know. They see he
warn't dressed for comp'ny, and so they
left. All done in a second: it was just
one little war-whoop, and a whish! OF
their dresses, and blame the wench Of 'em
was in sight anywhere .s- ......
"Jim, he was in sight. He was gorln
ed with the billin' hot .molasses candy
clean down to his heels, and had more
busted sassers hangin' to him than if he
was injun princess; and he came pran
cling upstairs just whoopin' and a cuss
in and every jump he give he shud some
china, and every squirm he fetched he
dripped some candy! a"a
i "And blistered! Why, bless your
soul, that poor cretur couldn't really Sc
down comfortable for as much as foul