The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1867-03-21

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and Secretary seward Upon an IEIp1r'
SAINT Mission, similar In its Nature &c
that OF Mr.. McCraclken-HIs Report.
From the To Iedo Blade,
Posi- OFFS, CoNFEDRIr ROADS, J
(Which is in the State of KentuckyD
February 1l,lS61. }
1t WIZ crooel necessity, after all, which
dfuv me into the seryis Nv his Eggslency, A.
johnson. Crooel, / say, for whenever he hez
partikelerly mean piece NV work to perform,
suthin so inexpressible sneakin that Seward
nor Randall won't undertake it, they allus
send for me. Welles is alluz willin, but while
he has the disposition to do anythin in the
line, he lacks the ability. The others, how
ever, hev the ability to do most things, and
therefore l hev been employed only in ex-
IRENE cases.
The success wich attended McCracken's
mission, endin as it did in the resinin NV Mot
ley, stimulated Seward to prosecute similar
researches into the actooal opinions Nv the
home crop Nv offisers regardin him ard his,
and my sooperior, A. johnson. Randall wuz
applied to take tour among Post Masters
and SIGH. He declined the mission indignant
ly, with the remark, 'Is thy servant dog or
the son of dog, that he should do this
thing ?" And ez Welles isn't trusted out NV
Washington any more, l wuz sent for.
The biznis required Nv me was stated by
Seward in his yoosual lucid style. 1t wuz
merely to cirkerlate iacognjto (Which is Latin
for sneakin), among the recently appointed
offs holders, and ascertain their views upon
general politikle topics, but more especially
Their feelins toward thePresident and Secretary
NV State. Jest as wuz startin, not at all
pleased with the mishon, Wells put in his oar
He wuz agoin to give me instrukshuns ez to
wat | wuz to do. WeleS is lunatik l never
Good abide, and 1 felt it my dooty to wither
him. TransfXing the venerable Secretary
with one NV my most piercinist gazes, I re-
marked 'Sir in imitashen NV the man who
inflicted you upon this country, which wuz
wuz not the least of his acts for which the
country cuSses him, propose relatin little
anecdOte. Their wuz wunst man who wuz
inebriated, and that he might present himself
in state approximating sobriety to the part
ner nv his buZzum, he was ess ayin to vomit
trying thus to ease his stumick Nv the un-
pleasantnis therein, but he coodent do it. He
At this critikle period another man approach
ed, who remarked kindly, that ifhe desired to
vomit, his best holt wood be to run his finger
down his throat. The drunk individooal
looked up, indignant at this unwarranted in
reference with his constitooshnel rites =
"Bast yoor eyes, sir" sed he, "are you or me
bosain this yer puke ~
"This, Secretary Welles, is the anecdote.
respeck the position you hold, and dislike
sayin anythin disagreeable, but sir, this Is
puke, and perpose to boss it myself"
Istartid to wunst, and found things in a
highly mixed condition. The following is
compiled from my reports In Moo York the
Postmasters generally are sound. The crops
were poor last year. and all kinds NV biznis
bein dull, the Postmasters are generally anx
ious to hold on. They are, Therefore, out
| spoken in their support Nv the coz. Them ez
wuz men Nv good standin and religiously in
clined, before the rupcher between the Presi-
dent and the party which redoest him, says
but very little in public, and that little they
don't say very long. They generally can't
! see that ther is any partikeler difference be-
!
/ Congress, and ther bein so little, Congress
ought to yield for the sake Nv peace. The
Dimocrats holdin such places are loud enough
in support Nv the Administrator; but good
Heaven the endorsement NV SIGH men is toe
heavy a load for any party to carry. Now,
that think Nv it, hey at last solved tht
mystery NV our wide spread defeat last fall
ohnson too heavy load to carry, and in thu
balance the johnson men found the Dimocra
cy too heavy load to carry.
In Ohio the first place I stopped at WI
Oberlin, the place where the niger college i:
located at. regret to say that the Postmast
err at that pint is rantin Ablishnist, and il
the two hours l was there, l coodent find &
/ Conservative Republican who wood take it,
I got one nearly persuaded, but just ez he WIZ
about to consent, his wife fell weepin ontC
his buzzom, and with techin pathos wanted
to know eff he was willin, for SIGH small pay
to leave a tarnisht name to the four children
now born to EN- and the wun which was ex
pected He repentid and refused. didn'
investigate ez fully as might, for Their ain
q ufOp NV IlhhCI oOIJ IilGItj anu CO III lldoi
gave out, felt that doc consideration for m.
Aoalth woodent permit my stayin anothe
hour. recommend the abolition Nv the ofi9
or the establishment nv grocery with ba
in the back room, ez a nucleus around whic
the democracy can rally.
At the next pint I interdoost myself ez
English nobleman in disguise, studyin Amer
kin manners and customs, and menshun
I carelessly that he'd bin to Washington, an
he'd bin presented to the President and Sekre
tary Nv State. The Postmaster was vizabl
Affected. Glancin furtiyely around to see TIA
] no one wuz lookin, he remarked in low tonC
MY deer sir, don't, I beg Nv 700, form voc
I idea Nv the public men of Ameriky from theI
! specimens. Don't beg. The first, sir, is
> accident-sich man Good never hev bin mad
on purpose. The second wuz suthin, in his ca
ly years, but now, sir, now-he's degrade