American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1867-01-16
WHIT AND WISDOM.

Fanny's hair is gray u
WHIT AND WISDOM.
The poet for fshermen-Crabbe.
Who was Jonah tutor?-The whal,
who brought him'u
The full dress of native lady O
Colombo is a hair-pin and garter
When is doctors pocket like mu
sic store ?-When it has viol in it.
Why is cheese factory like some
of the fixed stars 2-Because it is in the
milky way.
When does man entertain his guest
and horse alike when they both feed
at his table (his stable).
=" A check in time saves nine, !" says
mean husband, explaining that unles:
you give your wife's extravaganza ce a check
she will ask for one every week. U
The following epitaph is actually to
be seen on stone in Wolverhamptor
Church, dated 1890:
% Here lies the bones
' OF Joseph Jones,
Who ate while he was able
- But once o'erfed, @ 'H
He dropt down dead,
And fell beneath the table. H
When from the tomb,
To meet his doom,
He rises amidst sinners;
Since he must DWELL
In heav'n or hell, o.7
Take him--wbich gives best dinners
Why is the letter A like the merid
ian because it is the middle of day
why is the letter B like hot fire BE
cause it makes oil boil. Why is the let
ter y like fallen angel elY--Because BY
its association with evil it becomes dev
il. Why is the letter e like the end Of
time because it is the beginning o.
eternity. Why is the letter G like wis
dom because it is the beginning oi
greatness and goodness. Why is the let
ter Ii like the dying words of Ad,ms ?
g This is the last of earth" " hy i th'
letter like the end of spring7-Becaus'
it is the beginning of June Why il
the letter X like pigs tail 2 Becaus
it is the end Of pork,
PRosAIo PoETRY.--I gave her ros
and gave her ring, and asked her t
marry me then, but she sent them al
back, the insensible thing, and said she,
no notion Of men. | told her Id ocean
of money and goods-tried to frighte
her with growl, but she answered sh
wasn't brought up in the woods, to b
scared by tho screech of an owl. call
ed her eoquette and every thing bad,
sighted her features and form till a
length | succeeded in getting her mad
and she ragged like the sea in a storm
And then in a moment turned an
smiled, and called her my angel and dear
1.she fell in my arms like a wearisom
child, and exclaimed, "We will MARI
this year," basa
nIT Vos DIcKER. An honest min'
| from Colorado recently had his pocke
book stolen, containing sundry gree
backs and several nuggets, one of whie
was Of a peculiar wedge shape.
The marshal soon scented out and a
rested a suspicious charater, upon who
person the nuggets were found. Up,
the examination the prisoner bre ught 70
ward Dutchman to prove that the nu
gets found with him were his, and th
J the witness had seen them in his posse
sion previous to the theft. The Dutcl
, man was sworn, and told his story, al
was cross examined by c., plaintiff
5 attorney who asked him If one of the
e nuggets was thinner at one end than {
| other. 81 RA. sdf
av-o.s?" says Dutchie.
at ask you" says O., eff one
! these nuggets you describe was thinner
one end than at the other.
: "Ohl No: it vos decker NIT one e.
J, as it vos NIT de oddsr !" eaa
. A shout was raised, and the Dutchm
! retired from the witness-stand with
f. wildered look, muttering to himself: :
lyos dicker Y
'-.s'si p.i@ -,4-ss ~ @a.A Iis