Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1867-06-19
TO TIE MEN.

ruSe II.
TO THE MEN.
The transformation worked in lover
after marriage has long been q pet subject
with satirists. Before tho nuptial knot is
tied, the sutor is all devotion. No busl-
ness engagement is permitted to infringe
on the evenings consecrated to his .fancs.
If she drops her fan, misplaces q glove,
or needs help in putting on her shawl, he
is instantly ct her side, the most patient,
the most delicate Of servants. She has
only to express u wish TO go 70 church,
or to visit some place of amusement, and
10! he waits upon her even before break.
fast, though it rains as if delugc had
came.
But when the irrecoverable VOWS are
said and the honey moon comfortably
over, a change too often comes over the
obseouious cavalier. The latent selfish
ness of the "malc ANIMAL" begins to de-
velop itself The wife has to pick up her
own fan, search for her own gloves, shawl
herself unassis,ed, go to church alone,
ret to concerts when she can. Some
times the poor creature is happy to win
even a civil answer from her rude, dog
matte lord. Men who would be civil to
even strange servant, if q woman, think
it quite natural to be impolite 10 their
wives.
Yet there is nothing by which even q
selfish man can more easily benefit him.
self than by being respectful, well bred
and considerate to her he has sworn to
alove and, cherish" Sooner or later an
imperious or exacting husband makes an
Indifferent or careless wife. Talk of love
as you may, eulogizc the fcrbearance OF
woman till the language Of praise is ex-
hsusted, and still the fact remains that as
our sex has not monopoly of human
nature, feminine flesh and blood feels in-
Justice finally quite as acutely as ourselves.
As the truest happiness which well reg
ulated mind enjoys is in the family rela-
ton, 50 there can be no true domestic
felicity where there is injustice on one
side and its consequent alienation or the
other.
1t may be said that if husband love
his wife sincerely there is no necessity
for these little acts of politeness. They
arc tries we are told. But life is made
up of trihes. Did the lover despise them
once because they were trifles? Was
not something of his earlier success at.
tributable to the a<sduity and delicacy
with which he piled his gratifed mistress
with these trifes? Has his wife ceased
to like such attentions? Will she think
the less of her husband because he shows
how thoughtful he is of her comfort, even
in these triAes? Believe US, if woman's
affections are retained undiminished, in
spite of the rudeness of her husband to-
wards her, it would be vastly increased
if he exhibited little Of the lovers cour-
tcsy-if he was considerate of her in
trihes. 1t seems the strangest and most
incomprehensible thing in the world, if
we look at it dispassionately, that selfish
men think the only persons they can neg
lect with impunity are those. on whom
their happiness principally depends. They
are too stupidity blind, to use one of their
own pet phrases, to see that politcness to
wives "pays." For it is only of selfish
husbands that we speak. Those who re-
spect, love and reverence woman as true
womanhood ought to be respected, loved,
and vene-ated, need no incentives to be
courteous and considerate to their own
wives.
So much for the men. And now let
US add word
FOR THE WOMEN.
Much of the neglect which husbands
evince towards their wives, is caused by
the wives themselves. There are many
women who, previous to marriage, take
pride in personal appearance, cleanliness,
and neatness of apparel: and who, after
marriage, become negligent of their
charms, grow indolent in their parlors,
and slip.shod in their kitchen. No woman
can expect to retain the affections of her
husband after she has ceased to make
herself attractive and agrecable-when
she neglects her personal appearance and
apparel-riscs yawnng from her bed in
the morning, goes to the breakfast table
unwashed. and with uncombed locks--has
not the ambition to see the house kept in
order, becomes Indifferent whether her
husband is at home or not and neplccts