Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1867-02-27
Tho psrils Of Paying Attention"

Eligible bachelors complain that scar
city Of marrying men has much the same
effect upon the matchmaking mother as
scarcity of food upon the wolf. IL makes
her at once more ferocious and cunning
Her invitations 10 croquet parties and lit
tie dinners are so constant and so press
ing that It is scarcely possible for her
destined prey to refuse them all without
manifest rudeness, and yet It IS equally
hard for him to go without boing judi
oiously Unanswered into paying atten-
ton" TO the one young lady who has
been selected to make him happy for life.
The chiyalrous and graceful synonym OF
courtship in itself speaks volumes for
the serious nature of the risk which
he runs. The gallant assumption which
underliss il, that an Englishman only
"pays attention" to woman when
he has a solid business like offer Of mar
riage TO make her, not only puts TOR.
midable weapon into the hands OF the
match. maker but also leaves her victim
without most eliectusl means OF pro-
lection. The national gallantry towards
women upon which frenchman so
plumes himself may be, as your true
Briton declares, poor sort OF quality
enough; a mere grimace and trick OF
the lips-not genuine stuff from the
heart having much the same relation 10
true chiyalry that his biere has to beer,
or his potage to soup. But at any rate
it has this advantage, that it enables him
to pay any amount of howery comph'
ments to woman without risk OF com
hitting himself, or of being misunder-
stood.
If an Englishman asks young lady
after her sore throat, OF. her Invalid
grandmother, and throws into his voice
that tone of eager interest or tender
sympathy which a polite Frenchman
would assume as matter of course, he
is at once suspected of matrimonial de-
signs upon her. He is obliged to be as
formal and business like in his mode OF
address as the lawyers clerk, who added
at the end of too ardent love letter, the
saving clause, without prejudice. We
have heard of a young lady who coniided
to her bosom friend that she that morn
ing expected a proposal, and when close
ly pressed for reason, blushingly told
her that the night before a gentleman
had asked her whether she was fond Of
poetry, and four times whether she would
like to 90 into the refreshment room.
The problem would be to determine,
not what is the least possible number OF
dances, calls, or compliments which may
Justify the intervention Of big brother
Of heavy father, but what number war
rants the assumption that the Irritation
Al 80. ~ h.
serious stage Three dances, for in
stance, may expose man to being asked
what are his Intentions, where six
dances need not imply that he really has
any. The mercenary matchmaker con.
sidsrs only the first point; our ideal
matchmaker would lay far more strength
upon the second. But still, in any ease,
this growing tendency to treat the prac-
tice Of paying attention in the spirit
of exact science offers at least one ray
of hope to those who complain that, do
what they will, they cannot escape having
to pay this dangerous tribate. The ten
dency must sooner or later bear fruit in
a general recognized code of courtship
whether written or unwritten does not
much matter), prescribing the precise
number and character of the attentions
in their adaptation to dancing, croquet
playing cracker pulling, and other con-
ventional pretexts for filtration, which
virtually amounts to an offer of mar
riage. Saturday ReUieaC.