Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1867-07-18
WOODSTOCK VIRGINIA, THURSDAY JULY 49, 1867

wooden-nutmeg factory. weave to thyself
gorgeous pictures Of Red River, the bales
of cotton you didn't get, and the beauti-
full thrashing you did get Go dauntess,
demi-john Chandler, and amid the wheat
fields and marshes Of your own Michigan,
dream of that little blood-letting" which
you so ably, earnestly and efectualy assist
ed In bringing about aid may no fright
full visions Of a nlillion lowly graves with
their rough black walnut head boards, rise
to haunt or disturb your peaceful slumbers.
And thou old gray-haired reprobate, Ste
vens-the old possessed of seven devils
worse and more fierce than those that made
the Galilee hogs commit suicide; go, and
amid the ruins Of thy burnt iron works,
renew thy vows of ienddish hatred to the
"rebels," the South, the ''Copperheads,' .
the President. and all the rest Of mankind
who dare refuse to follow in thy cloven-
footed tracks. Co. and musing over those
fireblackened remains, feed the flames that
rage within thy bleared and shriyeled soul,
till it burns pathway through thy wretch
ed old carcass, and takes its flight to those
eternal, roaring iron works." for which it
is filter inhabitant than for earth Go,
Schenck, alias Skunk thou valiant war
rior upon Maryland women, old men and
children-hero of Vienna, CO. Go, Gar
field and Wilson, crack Drained Sumner
and Wade-go, all Of you, and dream Of
the glorious work Of the last eight months {!
You need to rest, for mighty have been
your labors and gigantic their results
Never before did such vast responsibilities
devolve On anybody Of mortal men, and
never before were such responsibilities dis
charged in such manner. The Senate of
ancient Rome was pretty grave old con-
Germ, and wore profoundly long face over
the momentous questions which demanded
its consideration Yet its noblest members
went without socks or breeches, and in
most of its legislation only uncouth barba-
rians were concerned. johnny Bull and
Madam Vie run parliament that has
generally been, except when it WAS in the
hands Of the Puritan Cromwell, a rather
! digniied and honorable institution. Yet
most of its members are clowni6h enough
to sit with their hats on in company, most
of its deliberations arc held, and most of
its acts performed for the benefit of snake
worshipping Hindoos, Jamaica free Mig
gers, and riff-raff Englishmen that can't
say hat or horse. But gov were the crys-
tallized jewels of a lofty civilization. You
excelled Rome's illustrious Senators, for
you wore snowy hose and broadcoth pants.
You surpassed the British law-givers in
the politeness with which your silk stove
pipes were removed, and your lofty brows
exposed to the admiring gaze Of the news
paper reporters and the miscegenatedly
crowded galleries. You were polished pipks
Of a luminous age. And upon you, when
you assemble, were hung the hopes of this
great Republic, on which Fourth Of July
''spouters" give us so many sublime rhap-
sodies. 70 you were turned the eyes Of
the thirty millions Of people who comprise
all the intelligence, Ingenuity, honesty,
morality, freedom and religion Of the globe.
To you they looked for the salvation of
their country, this country, Gods coun-
try''-this GLORIOUS heritage handed
down to US by our revolutionary forefa-
TIERS" as newly-improvcd Dutch orators,
like Carl Schurz, who haven't been over
here long enough to quit eating crout and
picked eel, enthusiastically style it. On
you, in short. hung the hopes Of the world,
about you conferred the desires Of all crea-
ton, around you clustered the expectations
of the universe. For, blot out this ''heay-
cnborn Union" smash up this chest gov
ernment the sun ever shone on, and what
would become Of the world, creation, or
the universe? Where else could they get
their Brandreth's pills, Jayne's expector-
ant, and Ayers sarsaparilla? And where
procure their secondhand holiness, self
rocking cradles and patent hocus-pocus :?
Who but our generals could teach them the
rules Of honorable warfare Who but our
parsons and statesmen could furnish them
their high moral ideas" and sshigher law"
notions And where would their enlight-
eminent, refinement and goodness come
from without Boston ''school marms" and
tract societies2 Upon you all these vast and
holy interests depended for their perpetui-
ty, for their salvation from the ruin which
threatened them.
Our ship Of state was grooming and
plunging at the mercy Of the tempest. A
blast from the North, a blast from The
South, blast from all directions. Whirl-
winds secured the face Of the deep; water
spouts threatened humiliation. The bot
tom stove in; the rudder wrenched off;
chart and sails torn to shreds; compass
and helmsman washed overheard. The
polar star lost in skies of ebony; and the
waves rolling as though the Alleghanies,
Andes, Alps and Apprentices were strug-
Cling in a giant wrestle match. Every
thing was topsy-turvy. Uncle Samuel had
clicked the bucket in fit of '.black vo-
nit and his administrators, executors, or
executioners, were all on spree cold
Nick" was to pay and greenbacks at dis
count Everybody felt uncertain; every
thing was jumfuddled Niggers found
themselves freemen; white men found
themselves slaves. Every body didn't like
anybody. Radicals were uproarously de-
nouncing and insulting the rebels Re-
bells with their tails tucked between their
legs were yiciously but meekly snarling at