The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1867-09-20

And God himseli, Inactive. we're no longer blsst"
The miner is happiest when his 4Tri-
umphs are oru." t5s4 ,No1 l5G
An earthquake don't dispose men to
sleep, but il makes the earth yawn. ,h
In what key should lover write pro-
posal Of marriagof Be mine an .l.,
"scedy" institution-The Agricultural
Bureau. bel! ,tt .7 70 '
New axiom-A thorn In tho bush is
worth two in the hand.
How do you know that Pharaoh was q
carpcnterI Why. he made Joseph ruler.
When is a shower like piece Of leather ?
When il is driving ruin.
People who travel into cannibal coun
tries are apt to be turned into Indian meal.
A colporeur says he, could always find
sinners because no tried to ,ract 'em.
Sailors, though not generally musical
class OF men, are always ablo to sound the
e correctly. ..
Why ought fop not to object to being
horsewbippcd' Because il would be max
ing him smart.
Why is woman mending her stockings
deionmed? Because her hands are where
her feet belong.
What is the difference between locker
on at an auction mart and a mariner9 One
sees the sale and the other sails the sea.
Two things in this world which man
does not find away from home-good soup
and disintercstcd love.
Good nature, like the bee, collects sweet
ness with every herb. Immature, Ike the
spider, sucks poison from honied flowers.
Money burns in some folks pockets, and
makes such big hole that everything that
is put in drops through past finding.
No one has ever been so good and so
great or has been raised so high, Us to DO
above the reach Of troubles.
snow, then, fiist boy in 'ri,hmetic, how
many white beans are there In ten black
ones?" "Ten, sir, if you skin EN-" was
the reply.
This tough steak makes me think Of q
famous old English poet" "That's queer.
What poet does il make you think Off"
"Chauser."
The golden days Of June ore full Of
PROMISE of ripe harvest; so let your life be,
golden to-day, and promising more to-mor-
row.
We arc curious to know how many feet
IN female arithmetic go to make mile, be-
cause we never met with lady yet whose
shoe was not, to say the very least "a mile
too big for her."
Imperfect enjoyment is attended with TO
gret; a surfeit Of pleasure with disgust.
There is a certain nick Of time, certain
medium to DO observed, with which few
people are acquainted.
"llaye your cabbages tender hearts 7"
nsked q woman Of costermongcr. "Thcy
can, have anything else, mam," was the
reply; "for they've been with me, crying
about the streets, all the morning"
One Of the beauties Of the court Of Fred
crick the Great said to the king, "Sire, how
is il that you, who are 90 glorious already,
still seek for new fame?" "Madame," he
replied, afor the same reason that you, al
though so beautiful, still wear rouge"
"Ahem! SO hero am between two
tailos," said dandy at n public table,
where couple Of young tailors were seat
cd, who had just begun business. avery
true" said one OF them, tive are but new
beginners, and can only afford goose be-
tween u.s.
Once upon time, il happened that a
poor wight married shrcw, who led him
n piteous life: she fell III, tho doctor was
called in, and the anxious, ailectionate hus-
band inquired Of him how his dear spouse
was Galcn shook his head, and told him
TO prepare for the worst. @What," said he,
"is she likely to get over in"
A quaker gentleman, riding in carriage
with a fashionable lady deckcd with pro-
fusion Of jcwelry, heard her complaint Of
the cold. Shivering in her lace bonnet AMI
shawl as light Us cobweb, she exclaimed
"What shall do to get warm ?" al really
don't know" replied the quaker, solcmnly,
sunless thee puts on another brcastpin ~
An lrishman, the other day, coming to
Washington with load OF wood, saw n
military officer followed at n respectful dis
lance by two ordcrlies in full gallop. "By
the powers" said he, "aven't they caught
him yet' l was here about three weeks
ago, and they was runnin' after him
them"
"Such is the pressure Of the times IN our
town." said a Birmingham manufacturer
once to his London agent, "that wo have
good workmen who will get up the inside
of a watch Tor eighteen shillings." That is
nothing compared to London" replied his
riend; 1--WE have boys here who will get
up tho inside Of a chimney for sixpence."
Address by priest to the Legislature Of
Connecticut:
For cuT-ting oil conventions framed,
CoSSrcrI-cur is fairly named!
twain CONNECT in one, but you
Cur those whom CONNECT in two.
Each Legislature socms TO say-
What you cosSEcr-rcur away.
The following ingenious little enigma is
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