davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1867-11-02


OLp TinEs! OH Palcrs Mr.. N. Grees,
Of .he New York Store, is nos 10 New York
purchasins s.hrge stock Of Dry Goods, in
tho midst Of he greatest panic sver known.
Accordingly Mr.. Thos Greg is nov offering
the greatest bargains 10 the market. Go II
once and inspect the prices and the stock.
n. Gregg Son, Nos. 8 and Estes House.
octs0-4t
Mas. PARrIsoroK IHsuLrEp.-The White
Mountains Of New Hampshire ara evidently .
great insfitution-very high, heavy frosts,
beautiful view, Tour dollar dinners. But the
I peac4icsi eye Of certain fenownea Drake
~ those .saaooth faced rocks. aad theseupoh
/ s1oraed spissvArit1ssed the birdie eatn 10
the Tip top House with his familiar 8. t.
lS6O-X PLANTATION BlTTERs. This raissd
ths ire Of the Mrs Psrtngtons composing the
Legislature OF the Granite State, who ~
their wise heads together, outlawed Mr. Drake,
add nsds it penal offence to ply the artistic
brush on their beloved bills. Verify, the fine
Query. Drake pay them for this splen-
did advertisement? =
MAasoIIA WArER.-A delightful toilet ar
ticle--supsriort Cologne, snd ut half the
price. octl7,th satlitu 2wddw
From the Sterling Gazette, Oct. Is, 1861
Coon NEws Arb GooD-BYe ON Rar.-
Prof. l.aacren, the inventor Of the famous
Sure Pop, il here. His preparation il an
entirely new thing, and the resnlt of long
study has been the invention Of this rat kill
er. which causes them to leave their holes
and die in the open air. Besides certificates
from the crowned heads of Europe, Prof.
IsAacsen has some from Willard Hotel, and
the White House, Wal nyton; Aston House,
New York, &c. The rats do not die on the
premises, consequently Il ere is no bad odor
arising from dead rats. Every family should
have box of it, as it costs only IS cents.
For sale by oil druggist.
Messrs. BusSHAAsA VAN ScHAAcK, Whole
sale Druggists, Is Lake street, Chicago, Gen.
eral Agents for the Northwest. A. Isaacsen.
as Fulton street. New ork City, Proprietor.
WILKINSON, BARTLETT l. Co, Agents for
Keokuk. 1taw4w.wlt
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1867-11-02
For Sale.

"A COTTAGE Brick Dwelling House,
IA with sx rooms, cellar cistern ard we'll situate
90 the sssterly half OF In block l8e the wsN
side Of High street., between aud 10Th streets tn
property 10 In hrst rate repsr and viii he cold Der
gain II applied for soon. Title coed or no ,alc
Enquire Of II. y YEk-EYcR
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1867-11-02

PslsTs are only l2} csnas d Phillips =
Ksrr's. Other things proporsionAssly Low.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1867-11-02

YsxCILr., Joss = CO. osa sssks yoa suis
al clothes 70 order ahsr ~ latess styles-
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1867-11-02

-. Loaas naraes.
BY Telegraph ". Loun. Eov !.
Rlour-Dull and unchanged.
vhsAs-Snn,; .xlss spring u 7st2 IS. fll - 50
o27o
Corn-nui,; choic. eliow and hit. 81 osSlls
o.ts-Quist; sales ~ GO 6s
sa1isy-fnn At 81 2Sp 80
Rye-Dull and low r; buyers cnef 81 %
Buck wheat Duh atSi.
M..s Pork-Dull and 10 yer, holders Offering Al t21
B.eon-Lose,i ci-ar sides lo1f; shoulders IL
Lard-Dli aud unchanged
Ciacinnau Market.
By Telegraph CIaaissArl. Nov
Flour Dull and unchanged.
W6saf-Da,i, No ! I'D ~ 50; No sprius " IL
Corn-Dul; nothing d.ins; new .ar IS; No / shsllsd
81 90.
0sh-Iowsr and dull a. 50 e.
Rye-Dui 1t 81 Is.
B~'sy-ste>dy.
Cotton-DulI a: IL.
Whisky-Unthanged.
Pork-in good DE- maud at SIC 1890
RAcnn-unehans ed and dull.
Lard-Dull at I11S.
Green MsAts-No demand; weather too warm
hogs-te 2sae So aud dull. owing to mia Weather.
view Yoru narAe,.
By Telegraph NV Yoaa, Nov |.
FIour-Grosed .hade lower for common grades, With
moderate export demand
~heAt-s,-.dy; 81 IsDio for No ; sorins; g. sla2 IS
fr No. do: 81 % for No DO
Rye-Nominsi At CO for Western.
Oorn-sl 81 10 for good to prime mike western
Mess Port-Firm at $50 IS o2l 50 cash and regular.
Beef-Noni,ai
Cut Meats Moderate reqn.sf; wi ut decided change.
Bacos--Duli.
I..rd-Da,i; 1874.
eonse-Trm.
snss-ss.,dy, sa1caz for Cuba IL fot Porto Rico
Ao:asses-rsir requs,t at soQas2 'or oabn.
Milwaukee Market
By Tsisgrsph.l u Mnwxsxm Nov
s rissr--bu'f; TX fossa1o 90 country do - SO
. u; sstra Is taDk7 Z
Wheat Quiet 81 20 for No /; II 81 for Nor
OTIS -Pi,m 65I1 456 70. No 2
corn-Quise 81 70 for No l; 81 y for Noa.
Foreign Markess-
LcyDcS, Nov. LIP n
cen.ol. "a s-le. Bond, 7o.. III Cent sl}, Ri.
sIh.
LIvHRroot, Nov. Is p. N. e
Cotton-ru sA for uplan Is; . for Orleans. eAlss Of
week so, 900 tslss: sock 81 go; American El,So
Brs.dstaG Quiet.
nav eFK Money Market.
~ Telegraph Nav ionK. Nor. /.
Monsy-Easy at e@5 per cent, for call loans
sierlins-Dui at sH@x gold. for nrst class bills.
Goid-shade nrmer; opening at nos closing st l&l
stoeA aapAet.
BY Telegraph NKw Yoax. Sov l.
Government stocks without decided change. Coupons
81 lln4DE do ~ loeskDk; do "a losk1A DO
IS lse1vk: do nov 1o7sS0ss: do 81 1o7sz0x. lo-4os
looaaSDs6 / sos losxon
stocks dull ard lower closing STEADY. U s1j<
~ &c 1i2,za1s; Rde 7l1s@'2l1. Re.ai o7Is
sf I l2lxG2s; B l s5LDec. NV 49, 44s, do pa
c5,s@j.
Toledo Market.
b. Telegraph ToIxpc, Nov. /.
yiour-No'hins doing in round lots.
Wheas-Firmer aad ), bsttsr; amber Miehigan u ~
Hi sAukss Club 50 05.
Corn-No Wabash II 1oN3l II: new seak.
oats-so held g. with 81 Id
Rye-ouIet at u SO for No 2.
Rsgiey-Dall.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1867-11-02

1.t0R SALE One u lots, the OF It'll al
Moran Streets wsiI fenced and orpsmen tai trttt
In 'front.' and side walh both sides. Price $500 csil
sprN q. D rKs-EYCR,
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1867-11-02

ChseaSo Live stock Aarkss.
Dy Tel. graph.l CHICAGO Nov,l.
Hosa-Recs ia to 3ell b. I'D. Market continues
dali and oppressed under heavy receipts and warn
weather; salss to-day ranged ESQ SOC lower.
Cs1s.s-Rsce'pts to 81 head. MGhet very
dull utterly dsmor.lissd; .xnas sold at col ard
rsaaA 49,
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1867-11-02

EOR SALE.-Let Block "a, on whitt
= hs two.tory Brick Dselupx RoHss With niyf
rooms, cellar cstern we'll and large numbsr ofhtE
I'D Other trsss This property 10 10 ans order, AZ
being located On Bank, between ID and ID strestsL
very onvenent to business win be sold 81 baisss
Title good or no sale. Enquire Of
aayae H. y rRN-RycE
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1867-11-02

&SoH sALk.-A t~o-story brick Dwelling House,
= tanning rooms, cellar cistrrn tr.ms barn;
feet front and is0 deep situa I'd near the coTnr
9Th and Bank streets. Title good sale.
Enquire OF [spiI3i III. B.fEN-EYtr
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1867-11-02

nav 1oFK money Market.
~ Telegraph Nav ionK Nor. i.
Monsy-Easy at S65 per cent, for call loans
sierlins-Duii ct sH@k gold. for nrst class bills.
God-shade nrmer opening at nos, closing 81 l&l.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1867-11-02
For sale.

n OF I 10 bloch Is, which 10 . four story brick
metsi root, building, % BY sosnd . stone founes
ton Of Is BY no the balance of the lot This proJH
~ 10 the Arcade Pudding, and ~ situate
the OF LIST and Main streets. ard will he sct TO-
about ope-han what the improvem, ut. co.t Hreisrt
soon, will be rented for term OF years, Tins ~
NO sais. Fer further Information address
msyi0 II. D. THs-BycK,
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1867-11-02
CITY NEWS.

Ors friend Ben. CLARK prssidss aov II ths
desk Of the Lucy Bsstram.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1867-11-02
For sale.

YSHAT VALUABLE PROPERTY. on ccrs
y ner 7th and Bank streets, embracing nearly fevS
lots. brick cottage dwelling, stable, Nofd rpA wask
house and other onf uildnE- gprdep and L,rg6 vaslf
nit and ornamental tree. roite varieties grapes w
res. a., In bearing t~o barge cisterns, Ac. Aa
This property Is in COED Icpar, and er The who'll
for sale low price, for cash, hair cash and bal
ances favorable terms Iiile perfect Tho vhuids
for ale at LESS than tho Lppse he built fnr
Enquire Of II n TEN-EYCR,
or thsproprlstor chAF. y. BfKdk.
err VII
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1867-11-02

HEAVY HARDWARE,
1o2 q -, Or. rain Z FssrsA ssrssss,
Kx0KUK. IOWA.
PECK BROTHERS,
tsuuCnssoKs 10 cADr ! PscK)
HARD " Are
Fairbanks Scales.
COR. FOURTH d MAIN sTS.,
~ KEOKUK, IOWA.
sug,AA1yavsa
w q Gassia PECK sR0rRkRS.
STlIn Rods. Tack H.nnsrs sns oe,pss Tsets. 1t
- sssl4 ee $50 Pnck hA0fHxk9.
ISIsI HOOKS, Fish Lines and Fishing Tackle, fan
u sostasat At isni4I Psox sa0rHEKs
nun LOCKE Gun Trinmings, Gun vi ads Cartridges
Al 40, - II fault .sre sfDe ea0f01ks.
A ME- spsdes and shov-ls tuii assortment ipsa
IA received by tsulal PkoK eRoTH8AA
CnAMPf0N COG Wheel cleshes Mn esr ahead q I'll
Y Others, f'r sai~ by tsni4' PsGS RHJrNkke
r D,rHR ana Rphb.r Re,ssrs; asin and Heap
IL e.esiss. Tor .sle by ,sritl psCk RR1faHRs
EAIesAsKy Hay, Piatf,rn and Counter scalas,
Scale Books. for 'ae by PsoK RkOrHNsA
NAyNHsLBARROws -Raiirosd a.rdss and Boys
w 1oE .ass nv fsni4l PICK ekorases.
naAMAssiiLE, for sale By 49, -
yEr FAIRBANKS
sc :. :, e..
PNKsaSxs. sRSxNlEAP . co.
a2s 4 a2s Lake St., Chicago
00o Market ST., -. Leais.
ArBR CAREFUL 10 Buy ONLY THE GENUINE.
sold iu Ksokuk BY PEOk BR0pHsRs mv2a-lv
uAMBDEN BUEL,
ILPC RTMH
AND DEAuER IN
HARDWAR
ANN
GU TLERY,
NO az MAIN 1t.
EEOKUK, IOWA.
SHOVELS, Scoops and Spades, for sale BY
~ IL RURL.
CORN KNIVES and Hay Knives, ..
~ II. BuNs.
I RUSSELL co.'s American Table
- Cutlery, a large stock at u. suEt5.
DOCKET CUTLERY-lo dozen, for
L sale io~ At II. BuREs.
TACKLE BLOCKS, all sizes, a.
Il II. BURL's.
LNTLEs, aavp. Planes, Augers, Anger Bits. aud oil
Il bis,a o Mechanic roos al w. BUet'S
n OCKS, LATCHES, and all kinds Of
u tui ier's ifdware at II. BUBLS.
mora full aud complete assortment OF Hardware,
AT LOWEST CASH PRICES,
GO TO
The Low Priced Store Of
81. BUEL'S,
seps5diy No. SO Nain St.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1867-11-02

Foreign Harkets-
LcyDoS Nov l-3pm
censol. 81 7-le Bonds .o!. III Cen, sl,, Erie
s5h.
LIvHRroot, Nov. Is p. N. e
Cotton-ru ss& for uplan Is; for oIleans sAlss Of
week 50 900 tsls<: sock 81 go; American El,So.
BfssdstaE Quiet.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1867-11-02

Milwaukee Market
By fsiegrspa.l p Mnwksxm Nov
Piear-bua; X sosssalo 90 country do = SO
q; ss.ra Is toDs7 y
Wheat Quiet 81 20 for No /; II 81 for Nor
OTIS -Pi,m 81 $50 foi No 2
cosn-Quise 81 70 for No |; u y for Noa
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1867-11-02

EOR SALE.-Eight acres of choice Grsyi
y land, aboat half Improved and In ftsit the bale ~
ttnber, and eli under ssnoe viii small Frame Dwell
HOUSE the This land 10 situated on the b<I
Of the River 10 Inos and 10 directly opposite ry fdI
dsnee, ssd abont one mite above Hamilton, 1'lir 70
Price d, oOo-A part on time.
EaQurs Of II. h. TRN-HY(f
lunela
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1867-11-02

MAaro1IA WArER.-A delightful toilet ar
ticle--superior. 10 Cologne, snd at half the
price. octl7.th satktu 2wd6w
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1867-11-02

Psssoss calling for ihsse letters will plssss Dc
&c. PARRoTT. Pm.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1867-11-02

TOR SALE.-Lot one, Block 1888, on u
= corner Of 18th and Bank Streets, with doubt
Frers Dwelling on the same containing eight room
which rents or els psr pnnth. Title GOOD Price sl6t
oash Rnquirs Of GH II. ,. TnH-nYCK.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1867-11-02

EOR REET.-The lsegs brick Dwelling
Rssss osatasiAs II - "A cistssns. cellar, A.,
barn. stuate frsnks, bet~ 18th and 9Th street,
Possession the let Of August next. Rent $500 per.
Enquire Of II. T. rkN-1YCB.
iy0
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1867-11-02

EOR SALE.--Lot ak, Block 1877 core
= Of 18th and Concert streets Price e<oo. Lotsi
and In Block &c., Of 18th aud Orleans streets
Price 1900 each Lot =, block fe, on Des Mninrs,t Z
tween sth and 9th streets. Price $500. Iiios good
osae, Enquire Of
1881 HB. TEN EYox
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1867-03-21
The Genital system.

Nearly all the principal grain marke cts
in the country have adopted resolutions
agreeing to transact business according
to the GENITAL system of weights and
measures. The change substitutes sales
by the one hundred pounds in the place
Of by the busliel. This will simplify
the trade greatly. It is very easy to re-
dncc the price per hundred pounds
The following instances arc given:
No. ! Wheat (per bushel, so ihs) S. O6
No. ! Corn per bushel SIS tts) 80
No. 2 Oats (per bushel 80 ihsl IS
No. 2 Barley (per bushel 4S ibs) 63
For the price Of wheat dividing sos
BY 80, gives 0343, the price per pound, or
81. 43 the price per Genital Thus amend
ed the above table would read (adopting
the usual rule with last dgure:)
No. Wheat per GENITAL S. g
No. Corn per GENITAL Ia
No. 2 Oats per GENITAL l34
No. Barley per GENITAL l42
Railroad freights are quoted by the
GENITAL, and the prices of grain would
then he on the same basis, and at the
opening Of navigation, water freights
would at once adjust themselves to cor
respond with quotations Of railroad
freights.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1867-03-21

DIR. LlvINasroNE.-The death Of DR..
David Livingstone, who Is reported to
have been killed by the black savages OF
Caffraria, was great public calamity
He contributed more through his Afri-
can explorations to our stock of original
knowledge than any other traveller OF
ancient or modern times. Herodotus
and Mungo Park have host Of follow.
ers, but he excelled them all. Entirely
reliable in all his statements, he was a.
so profound and practical In his sugges-
tions. He had a distinct and high pur-
pose, and was not mere sight-secr and
story teller. He was christian gentle
man OF broad and noble views, aiming
always to benefit as well as to entertain.
Devoted primarily to the christi aniza-
tion Of the wretched savages by whose
hands he fell, he took lively interest in
the suppression ofthe African slave trade
and the opening of commercial inter-
course between Europe and Southern
Africa. He did much, also toward In
Producing cotton raising In that country.
David Livingstone was born in Blai,-
tyre Works, near Glasgow, in 1876
Chicago Journal.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1867-03-21
The Day Forty Eight Hours Ions

Last week we showed that the first
beginning of the day is somewhat be-
tween America and Asia. The precise
locality Of that somewhere has not been
determined. If the Pacific ocean were
thlckly populated with men, the place
Of beginning Of the beginning Of the
day would be matter of great conse-
quence, and would probably be settled
by statute. The day would start from
meridian iiu- extriiuiug from pole to
pole, and the longitude Of this day line
might stand astride it and realize the
paradox of having one foot in Monday
and the other In Tuesday Many ofthe
readers Of this will live long enough to
hear the subject discussed in national
councils.
We propose now to show that Monday
or any other week day Is forty-ei-ht
hours long; we mean that during the
whole of forty-eight hours Monday is
on the earth somewhere to be found
The Monday Of this city is Of course
twenty-four hours long; but before and
after our Monday there is Monday in
some other quarter. When Monday
begins In New York, there have been
three hours OF Monday in London, and
for three hours after our Monday ends
InCAc Wiii pc hOluay III san Francisco.
Thus between these places Monday lasts
eighteen hours. Now if the day line
were at our antipodes, Monday would
begin there twelve hours before ours and
end twelve after hours. Thus, for the
space of forty-eight hours the earth Is
not rid of Monday. The fact may be
illustrated in another way. Suppose
" in dog, limo. Monday begllls.
there and in twenty-four hours along
comes Tuesday. But just west (half an
inch If you pleasej Monday began only
an instant before it ended east of the
line. The Monday east of the line is
twenty-four hours long, and west of the
line is the same length and in all Mon
day lasts forty eight hours.-Scientific
american.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1867-03-21

A MANLY HUsBAND.-Ar reporter was
around hunting house for friend, and
called to see a family who were prepar-
ing to vacate cosy dwelling. As the
door stood open, reporter walked in
without knocking, anc his eyes straight
way lighted on the dame Of the house
hold, who was making frantic lunges
with broom-stick at some object under
the bed.
Good morning, madam. All! have
you troublesome cat under the bed?"
Troublesome cat ?--no sir! It's that
sneaking husband Of mine; and TIL have
him out or break every bone in his
body!"
"You will eh?" said q faint voice un-
der the bed. "Now, Susie, you may rave
and pound-oh, and rave, but I'll be
dogged if I'll come out from under the
bed while I've got the spirit of man
about me-"
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1867-03-21

PRINCE ARTHUR, the third son Of
Queen Victoria, is to assume the Vice
royship of the "Kingdom Of Canada"
under the new Confederation scheme.
He is only seventeen years old, but bears
the magical name of Patrick, !" which 1t
is thought, will have powerful infiu-
ence on the Fcnians. The ATTEMPT will
no doubt soon be made to erect Canada
into an independent kingdom, with one
OF the numerous scions of the Fnglish
royal family at its head.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1867-03-21
Tale OF Q Rattlesnako.

During the summer months rattle
snakes go about In pairs; 50 that II one
IL killed, the hunter had better look out
for the other. This habit Is not confln-
ed to the rattleenakes. Most venimous
species observe the same rule. A negro
slave in st. Domingo once took advan-
tage Of Il to rerpetrate most foul crime.
The negro had Joined conspiracy to rs-
volt, but being suspected OF ,ukewarm-
ness In the cause, was commanded TO de
stroy his masters daughter, ~ proof Of
his zeal or suffer death himself. He dis
covered the haunt Of pair Of deadly
snakes, and by means Of those arts Pc
culiar to the half-savage race, entlcod
them to the neighborhood of the houso.
He then Informed his master that
he had reason to believe that there wAe
O venomous reptile in the reigborhood.
4 reward was offered for its destruction,
which was gained by the negro himself,
who killed the female snake the follow
ing morning. His courage and devo-
ton were highly complimented by tho
master, and an additional reward given
by the daughter. .... ...7
The moment the negro was unobserv-
ed he set to work to complete his plans.
He dragged the body of the dead snake
along the ground, through the house In
to the young lady's bedroom, and allow
ed 1t to remain for some few minutes be-
tween the sheets OF the bed. This done.
he concealed the snake about his body,
and carried to a distance. Night came
op and, the surviving snake began to
seek its mate. The scent was still on
tho ground, and the reptile followed Il
up to the door and then glided across the
hall to the chamber of the planters
daughter. The trail was quite warm
the snake workd Its way beneoth the
coverlet to the place where the Other had
been; and when the unfortunate girl
moved her hand In sleep to brush Il
reptile were instantly buried in her
throat. The deep sleep produced by .
sultry heat was upon her, and she awoko
no more. When the parents went to
visit their child In the morning, an Of
fensive, putrid mass Of corruption, in
which they could hardly recognize the
loved countenance, was all that met
their sight.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1867-03-21

make his grasp Is low down ~ he can
reach, and does the same, and 80 alter
nately, and by fAthom or more at =
time, and with great rapidity, bring the
anxious diver to the surface.
A heavy blow from his nostrils toexpcl
the water and exhausted air, indicates to
his companions that he 10 conscious and
breathes. a word or two is then spoken
to him by one Of his companions, to
encourage him, IL he seems much dis
tressed, - is often the case; and the
hearing of the voice is said by them to
be . great support at the moment Of
their greatest exhaustion. A fow seconds
rest at the surface, and then tho diver
returns In boat to recover, generally
putting on an under garment or jacket
to assist the restoratio Of the animal heat
he has lost, and to prevent tho lcss of
more by the too rapid evaporation Of
water from his body.
The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1867-03-21
Wit and Hunor.

The Household Words" in manv
households We're better unspoken.
'Short visits are the best" a. the fly
said when he alighted OH hot stove.
What "bus" has found room for the
greatest number of people? Columbus.
Here's to internal improvements, -
rs Dobbs said when he swallowed dose
Of salts.
A country paper speaks of a man who
"died without the aid Of a physician
Such cases are very rare.
II q woman were to change her sex.
what sort Of being would she become?
She would be he then---a heathen.
A correspondent erticising a prima
donna rather deficient in physique, says,
"a chest is as essential to singer as D
bureau to o freedman
A thief was lately caught breaking in
to song. He had already gone through
the first two bars, when policeman
came up and hit him with a stave.
A Missouri farmer being asked IL
raising hemp was good business, an
swered: II can't sartin say but it's
surely surely better than being raised by
it."
at Is well to leave something for those
who come after u.s. as the gentleman
said who threw u barrel in the way a
constable, who was chasing him.
A wounded Irishman wrote home from
the hospital, and finished up by saying,
Il m for this country. I've bled for il.
and shall soon be able to say I've died
for it.
A counsel being questioned by a Judge
| to know "for whom he was concerned"
replied, am concerned, my lord, for
the plaintiff, but am employed by the
defendant"
| "Shall ladies have votes,n asked a
stump speaker. Certainly replied a
strong gmfnded woman in the audience.
lis woman made only to sew on but
tons? And il she is, it is against the
law OF nature to turn away the needle
from the poll"
Near Cleveland lives hale and hear
ty man, whose wife says that he is Dos
! sessed ofthe most sensitive feelings, and
in proof Of which she states that when
she goes into the yard and saws wood
for halfa day, he sits by the fire with
tears in hfs eyes.
Why, Mary, my dear, how is this I
find you sitting here SO comfortahlv
with your husband; you told me this
morning you had quarreled, and he was
gone for . sailor?'. 81, father! told
you nothing of the kind" .Oh, nom
sense! am sure you said you had some
words together.' Eyes, father, and 90
we had. He asked me what time 1t was:
| said / didn't know; and 30 he left the
house, saying he tods going to see! That's
all told YOU"
Acertain farmer "a pillar of the church
had fine field Of wheat, which, being
little late, was threatned with n oariy
frost. In the emergency he want into
the Lord for its preservation. In his
prayer he stated the facts fully, and how
the Uhs1t would be affected by The fost.
and wound up his petition In theoe
words: "Not Lord, that would dictate,
but merely recommend and advise.n