The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1867-09-18
TABLE TAX.

surrey ana the late Lord King, the father of
the present Earl Lovelace, were walking on
the lawn at Netley, and, great cronies as they
were, they were deep in the discussion of poll
TICS, scandal, and passing events, or such
topics as in the year on or about 1888 were
available to ventilation, and likely to interest
men of their standing. Suddenly avoice, conside-
Tably imbued with the graceful taint usually
on the tongue of native of the Emerald Isle,
sounded close to the elbow of Mr.. Lomax, and
in whining tone those syllables prayed for
'the Taste taste of a bit vittels." Startled
out OF propriety, and turning short round
upon tall beggaT man, and without much
choice of expression, Mr.. Lomax told the
suitor for charity to ego to -" numbering
forth, at the same time, that he had renewed
such constant succession of beggars, that he
had resolved to do so no more" AS Mr..
Lomax made this annunciation he and his
friend Lord King faced about to take another
turn on the lawn, and the Irish beggar-man,
leaning on his stick, came face to face with
them. "Lord love yer honor" said the
beggar, 'is it to - you bid me gol Tve
Just coined from it," Mr.. Lomax, amused
with the cool, sly twinkle of the old mans
eyes, as he stated whence he had so immedi-
ately come, asked him, in a more good-natured
tone of voice, "Well, what were they doing
thereY" "Down on their knees they was,"
replied the beggar man, ''every mothers son
on em praying for the arrival of Mr.. Lomax,
who, they said, had long been due, and
a-swearing as he'd give 'em shillin' all round
in the way of drink to pay his footin', as soon
as ever he come" 'Here, you old humbug.n -
said Mr. Lomax, laughing, giving him guinea
for his wit, ''that's better than the shilling,
should you be there to meet me-"
Among Lord Eldon's humorous answers
to applications for preferment should be re-
membered his letter to Dr. Fisher, of the Char
terhouse: on one side of a sheet of paper,
''Dear Fisher, l cannot to-day give you the
preferment for which you ask. / remain,
your sincere friend, Eldon. Turn over"
and on the other side, ~ gave it to you yester-
day" This note reminds us of Erskine's
reply to Sir John Sinclair's solicitation for a
subscription to the testimonial which Sir John
invited the nation to present to himself. On
the one side of sheet of paper it ran-''My
dear Sir John, am certain there are few in
this kingdom who set higher value on your
services than myself, and | have the honor to
subscribe" on the other side it concluded,
''myself your obedient faithful servant, ERs.
KMR."
When Count d'Orsay first came to Eng
land as very young man, and was about
twenty-five years of age, he was invited to
dine at Holland House, where he was seated
next to Lady Holland herself, who supposed
that the handsome stranger was a shy young
Owing to q considerable abdominal develop
ment her ladyship was continually leaving
her napkin slip from her lap to the ground,
and as often as she did so, she smiled blandly,
but authoritatively, on the French count, and
asked him to pick it up. He politely complied
several times, but at last, tired of this exer-
else, he said, to her great surprisey "Ne
ferais-je pas mieux, madame, de m 'asseoir sous
La table, afn de .pouvoir vous passer la SER
viette plus rapidement ?''
in very scarce book, Halls "Parochial
History of Cornwall" published at Exeter in
1850, mention is made of Killigrew, the cele-
brated Master of the Reves temp. Charles II,
though he never was formally installed as
Court Jester. The following anecdote will
show that, at all events, he deserved the aP-
pointment even though he did not get it.
When Louis XIV showed him his pictures at
Paris, the King pointed out to him a picture
of the Crucifxion between two portraits
''That on the right" added his Majesty, els
the Pope, and that on the left is myself" 81
humbly thank your Majesty" replied the wit,
"for the information; for though have often
heard that our Lord was cruciied between two
thieves, never knew who they were till now"
old Nine Rothschild, mother of the
mighty capitalists, attained the age of ninety
eight; her wit, which was remarkable, and her
intellectual faculties, which were of no COM
last illness, when surrounded by her family,
her physician being present, she said in sup
plant tone to the latter, "Dear doctor, try to
do something for me-" Madame, what can
do3 can't make you young again." ''NO,
doctor, don't want to be young again, but
want to continue to grow Old"
Joseph Jekyl was at the same time the
brightest wit and the most shameless punstel
of Westminster Hall in the reign of George III
One Of his best displays -of-brilliant impudence
was perpetrated on Welsh judge, who wa!
alike notorious for his greed of Office and his
want of personal cleanliness. "My dear sir, }
Jekyll observed in his most amiable manner
to this most unamiable parsonage, "you have
asked the minister for almost everything else
why don't you ask him for piece of soap ant
a nail brushH'
Everybody knows the story of Gunter
the pastry-cook. He was mounted on run
away horse with the kings hounds, and ex
oused himself for riding against Alvanley b.
saying, go, my lord, can't hold him; he's s.
hot" "lce him, Gunter ice him !" was tn
oOnsoling rejoinder.
Madame de S6vigne had a German friend
the Princess of Tarente, who was always il
mourning for some sovereign prince or prin
cess. One day Madame de S6vigne happen
ing to meet her in colors, made a low courtesy
and said, MADAME, je me rejouis de la santt
dePEurope."
Lady Wallace sent very civil messag
to Mr.. Harris, the patentee of Covent Gardel
Theatre, Offering him her comedy for nothing
Mr.. Harris observed that her ladyship knew
the exact value Of it.
Lord Alvanley wrote to friend, ~ hav,
no credit with either butcher or poulterer; bu