American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1867-12-04
NUMBER so,
WIT AND wSSDOM.

Never carry sword in yeur tongue
to wound the reputation of any man.
Time never sits heavily upon us but
when it Is badly employed.
Prosperity is blessing 10 the good
but curse to the evil.
-"Hoops," Gays 'Inebrius," sur
round the best things on earth-wine
and women.
CoNUNDRUMs-What is the frst
thing boy does when he falls into the
water? ? He gets wet.
When does farmer act with rude>'
ness towards his corn2 Whon he pulls
its ears.
We give away nothing so gener>
ously, and receive nothing so reluctantly,
as advice.
Probably the reason why the way Of
the transgressor is hard, is that it is so
much travelled.
An old bachelor thiAks the train OF
ladies dresses Internal machines, from the
fact that blow-up took place directly
after he put his foot on one.
What was the difference between
Joan OF Arc and Noah's ark 7 One WAS
Maid Of Orleans, and the ether was made
Of gophe wood.
Men are often capable of greater
things than they perform. They come
into the world with bills of credit, and
seldom draw to their full extent.
Josh Billings says that ifa man
processes to serve the Lord, he likes to
see him do it when he measures onions
as we'll as when he hollers glory halle
luyer.
-Inviolable fidelity, good humor, and
complacency of temper, outshines all the
charms Of fine face, and make the de-
cay of it invisible.
Moral as well IS natural waves are
checked and bounded by divine power.
Surely the wrath of man shall praise
Thee and the rsmsinde. of his wrath
Thou shalt restrain.
Lucy Stone said : "Thers is cotton
in the ears of man, and hope in the bo-
som Of woman" Lucy made q mistake
and got the cotton in the wrong place.
AN "improved apparatus for nursing
tshiss is advertised We don't believe
tso O.I way can be improved very much,
There are some things that are about
complete at the beginning.
We need not caro- how short Gu.
passage out Of this lite is, SO it bo safe;
never any traveller complained that he
came too soon to his jonrney's end.
You are just taking leave of the
world, and have you not learned to be
an honest man is the only way to
be wise one I
"A little four year old child in
Portland told his father he was a fool
On being reprimandod by his mother and
required to say he was sorry, he toddled
up to the insulted parent and exclaimed,
Papa, I'm sorry you'se fool"
-"John," asked physician of the
apothacary's apprentice, "did Mrs. Green
get the medicine ordered 2" 81 guess
So" replied John, "for / saw orapo
hanging to the door>nob this morning"
-"What fine head your boy hasl'
said an admiring friend.
eyes" said the fond father, "he's q
chip of the old block amt you sonny?"
II guess so, daddy, cause teacher said
I was young bock-head."
"A Chinese maxim soys: awe rec
quire four things of woman: That virtue
dwell in her heart; that modesty play on
her brow; that sweetness flow from her
lips, and that industry occupy her hand" +"
"A lawyer had his portrait taken in
his favorite attitude, standing with his
hands in his pockets. 1t would resem.
bic him more closely" said an acquaintt
ance, {" if he had his hands in somebody
else's pockets.
Teach child that there is harm in
everything, however innocent, and az
soon as it discovers the cheat it won't SEQ
sin in anything. That's the reason dea.
cons sons don't turn out well, and preach,
ers' daughters arc married through wins
dow.
Scene on the street-Jubilans Dem
ocrGt-Do you hear those gunsf tell
you VIC can afford to burn powder over
such victories as these Touchy Repub-
lcau-That's so! You didn't burn much
during the war and haven't bnrned much
since.
An explosive substance, whose ef-
fects are somewhat like those of gun
powder, has been discovered in Frsnoe
by NJ Pool. 1t is prepared by the ac>
tion of chlorats and Of nitrate of potash
on ordinary gluo or isinglass.
"A Virginia negro boy, who profess
ed to be dreadfully alarmed at the chol-
era, took to the woods, he said, "to pray" +"
"But," said the oversser, Z" how is it
that you went to sleep 2"
Don't know, massa, 'zactly,, respond
ed the negro, "but 'spect must have
overprayed myself"
A retired English sea captain, who
had made the tour Of Continental Europe
and the Holy Land, was asked how he
was impressed by his visit to Jerusalem
Jerusalem" said he, sis the meanest
place visited There is not drop of
liquor in the whole town fit to drink"
/ - Il -. 49,. .