The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1867-05-11
An Editor on Dancing.

lhe editor OF the Nicksburg Herald
gives the following humorous account of u
masquerade ball:
On account, perhaps. Of the manifold
daties always pressing upon us, wc have
not learned to waltz-wc have never
placed our arm around a fragile, fairy.
Aeecy, fuctuaiing form. and whirli giggcd
around loose; but at the grand masquerade
aud fancy dress ball, on last Tuesday night
We happened to express our regrets at this
deficiency in our education to young.
plump. fresh and closely -dominoed Iujun
girl. while We were promenading the vast
hall with the luscious luDpsy-dumpsy
She swectly iniimatcd that the hubbub
of such an occasion. when a faux pas
would scarcely be noticed, was the very
best time in the world to learn. We
would not acknowledge our name If me
had backed out of such an offer, and. as .
mattcr of course we shyly requested her to
afford Us the sublimcly perpendic4iar
pleasure of small lesson, merely for the
purpose OF getting acquainted with each
other. and giving rs i relish for our vituaL
at supper. Sweet and gorgeous aborigine
without swearing She nc'er consented
to do go. Gently, dcIicately, fastidious.
y and timidly we placed our arms around
hc plant waist, aud almost wasted away
Tier long raven locks tickled our elbow
Thousands aud millions Of spotted beads
yibrated and tinkled around her fairy
form, as her bosom rose aud fell to give
them melody, Ike an Aolian harp upon
the heaving sea. Her hand was in ours
AS soft as a pussy cats back, as she
silcutly watches mouse hole at :he soft
and witching hour of twilight Tier lefl
foot was against our right boot. The gau
dy feathers upon her moceasius tickled oul
manly knees Our eyes met. Two soft
and melting gIanccs shot out from tho
holes in her domino-and coming together
in the middle emitted sparks like the Il
+. Lee rounding to Williams wharf boa
on dark night in the latter part of De
cember. Music arose with It's voluptuoui
swell and drew nearer unto us and We
arose with our voluptuous swell and drew
near unto the female red man. Hel
warm breath was upon our fingers aud hei
long raven hair went fippy-ty-fop ogel
our left shoulder We had not yet waltz
ed an inch. AID wedidp't care Copied
crate pound if We never moved from lha
spot till the editor of the Vicksburl
Herald joined the Sons of Temperance
We shook back our yellow locks, and i'm
mediatcIy the'odor of Martha Washington
Hair Restorative, for sale by Hardawa,
& Co, and all respectable druggists, filcr
the room We bowed our editorial head
and whisper d in voice whose dulcet ant
mcllifuous notes would have melted the
heart of deputy constable-"Gorgeou
child Of the forest, whose ancestors discov
cred Columbus, would we were a glov,
upon that hand. that we might touch tha
check, would that we were pair Of moe
casiBs upon those feet that We might cares
thy corns; would We were hank Of yarr
strung with spotted beads that we nigh
encirclc that form; would we were lons
bunch of hair we might flop around tha
neck; would we were an open barrel o
golden syrup that thou might dip thy fin
ger in us and lick it; would We were
coronet that we might rest upon thy brow
would that we we're a roll of greenbacki
that we might stay in thy pocket; woulc
we were brindle dog, that we were /
watch dog, that we might guard thy wig
vans; would we were big black rooster
tail that we might dangle near thy face
would we yerc an Indian chief" Thu,
far we spaketh and shesigEed Her rub,
lips did part, and she speaketh. s.If yoi
are done wooding up, we'd better let in
for the music is wasting away" We le
in and we wasted away Our two hearts
beat with such responsive throbs, that
creased case knife could not have entered
between the throbs. It seemed as If ter
thousand catapilars were cmigrating up oul
back, and turtle doves were picking mea
bran out Of our ears. Huge sigbs of ths
size.of a rutabaga turnip escaped our lips
heard murmuring brooks, whispering
boughs, and warbling birds and tinkline
COW bells, and. we foated away on feecy
cloud of Que hundred dollar grcenbacE
bills The music ceased, but the Wash
ington Hall kept on waltzing. The Indi
an maid sought her native forests and We
were carried by our friends to the Times
Office with cramp in the bottom of oul
feet. and our eyes turned wrong side out
wards.