The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1867-12-12
TIPToN, IOWA, DECEMBER 5, 1867.

est mysteries of iiftAnd death. His in
quiries, however, generally have gro
tesque flavor. On, night, when the
mosquitoes were mixing lively raids on
his person, he appeiled to me, suddenly:
"How does the mocn feel when skeet-
er bites it," To hs meditative mind,
the broad, smooth ,urface of the moon
presented temptation not to be resisted
by any stray skeeter.
1 freely confess hat Johnny is now
and then too mudh for me. l wish l
could read him as deverly as no reads
me. He knows all my weak points; he
sees right through me and makes me
feel that am u helpless infant in his
adroit hands. He has All argumentative,
oracuiar air, when thinss have gone
wrong, which always upsets my dignity.
Yet how cuuningly he uses his power!
1t is only in the last extremity that he
crosses his legs, puts his hand into his
trousers pockets, ana argues the case
with me. One day last week he was
very near coming to grief. BY my di-
rections, kindling-wood and coal are
placed every morning in the library
CRATE, in order that may have fire
the moment l return at night. Johnny
must needs applya lighted match 10 this
arrangement earl y in the forenoon. The
fire was not discovered until the blower
was one mass of rel-hot iron, and the
wooden mantel-piece was smoking with
the intense heat.
When l came home, Johnny was led
from the store room, where he had been
imprisoned from an Early period, and
where he had employed himself in eat
ing about two dollars worth of preserved
pears.
'Johnny,' said I, il as severe tone
as one could use in addressing person
whose forehead clustered with SYRUP
"Johnny, don't you 'emembcr that 1
have always told yol never to meddle
with matches??"
1t was something delicious to see
Johnny trying to remember. He cast
one eye meditatively up to the ceiling,
tn EN- he fixed it aLstractedly Oh the ca
nary bird, then he 'Dhbei his ruflled
brows with STICKY = but really,
for the life of him, }e (" recall any
injunctions concern.. Lines.
II can't papa, truly, d j. said John
ny at length. II guess .'.1'.t have for
got it.'
"'Well, Johnny, inc t'-at on may
not .rol ret it in future
Hera .,o.',nny was s,izr, NJ an idea.
He interrurtet me.
Iu tell you what YOU do, papa,-you
Just put it dorm in ,.vss"'
With the aid of maj VINO mas settied
a question definitely, .ut at me same
time is willing to lister politei; - any
crude suggestions that you may haze 70
throw out, Johnny crossed his legs, am.
thrust his hands into hose wonderful
i turned my face aside,
for felt certain Weakness creeping
into the corners of my mouth. l was
lost. In an instant the little head, COW
cred al! over with yc!!c" cur.s, was laid
upon my knee, and johnny was crying,
"I'm so very, very sorg!'
have said that johnny is the terror
Of the neighborhood. ] think | have
not done the young gentleman All in
justice. If there is q window broken
within a radius of two miles from our
house, Johnny's ball, r stone known
to come from his dextGous hand, is al
most certain to be founl in the battered
premises. / never hear the musical
jingling of splintered glass, but my
porte-monnaie gives aconvuloivc throb
in my breast-pocket. There is not a
door step in our street that hasn't borne
evidences in red chalk of his artistic
ability; there isn't bell that he hasn't
rung and run away from at least three
hundred times. Scarcely a day passes
but he falls out of something, or over
something, or into something. A ladder
running up to the dizzy roof of an unfin-
ishei building is no more to be resisted
by him than the back platform of a
horse car, when the conductor is collect
ing his fare in front.
| should not like to enumerate the bat.
ties that Johnny has fought during the
past eight months. 1t is physical I'M
possibility, should Judge, for him t,
refuse a challenge. He picks his enc
mics out of all ranks Of society. He ha
fought the ash-man's boy, the rich boy
over the way, and any number of mis-
cellaneous boys who chanced to stra,
into our street
Icant say that this young desperate i
always victorious. | have known tn
tip OF his nose to be in a state of unplcas
ant redness for weeks together. l hav
known him to come home frequentl
with no brim to his hat; once he pre-
sented himself with only one shoe, ol
which occasion his jacket was split II
the back in manner that gave him tn
/ appearance of an over ripe chestnu
bursting out of its bur. How he wi
fight! But this l can say,-if Johnny
as cruel as Ca!igula, he is every bit a
brave as Agamemnon. / never kne,