Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1867-10-09
WIT. WISDOM AND WORTH,

Rejected courtesy becomes enmity-
df the extended hand is refused, the mere
closing of the fingers changes it to fist.
Jones is a strong believer in guardian
angels of it were not for them," he
asks, "what would keep people from roll
ling out Of bed when they are fast asleep?'
A STRANGE FAor-Diamonds and
other precious stone are of peaceable
nature, yet when placed in the earring
they may be set by the ears. Ire lates r.
SMART-A man boasting of the smart
ness Of his children, said that the young
est was so smart that it would take it's
hands off hot stove without being told.
An old maid is more liberal than a
young one. The latter may always be
willing to lend you hand the former
will give you one, and even thank you
te0.
Why is thief your only true philoso-
from an abstract point Of gieO, is opposed
to all notions of protection, and Is open to
conviction. @ 14t
What more natural than that sentiment
tai young ladies, when they change their
condition of single blessedness, ceasing
to be pensiye, should be expensive?
"A man ia Alton, Iowa, escaped from
punishment foradultery because the high
ly educated prosecuting attorney had
charged him with ''idolatry," which is
The impulsive woman who was SO
DESTROYS that President johnson should
kiss her infant, is now constantly seen
wiping the cheek upon which the kiss
was imprinted.
A man having hurt his forehead, was
advised to rub it with brandy Some
days after, being asked if he had done
SO, he answered, II have tried several
times, but can never get the glass higher
than my mouth y
A girl who was making dress put the
sleeves in wrong, She was unable to
change them, as she could not determine
whether she had got the right sleeve IN
the wrong place, or the wrong sleeve IN
the right place.
(which, my dear lady, do you think
the merriest place in the world ?''--ssThat
Immediately above the atmosphere that
surrounds the earth, l should think. =
And why so ?''-"Because an told that
there all bodies lose their gravity" r Fl
Why is pretty lady like a locomo-
tive. engine? Don't give it up-there
are plenty Of reasons. She sends of the
sparks, transports the mails (males), has
a train following her, and passes over the
plain. .a.s s--.t ........ s-.-.. q
An old fellow, who Is always perpe-
trating bad jokes, persists Ia describing
gamesters as birds Of par o dice; and he
accounts for the presence of black legs in
sheep fold by citing the fact, that lambs
are always passionately fond of gambling
-"Down in front! down in 'front.'
shouted an excited individual, whose
view Of the stage was intercepted by a
man who persist .ntly kept his feet while
popular dancer was delighting the audi
tnce. Down! down. said an
Irishman near, "don't be splittin' your
throat that way. Be CORA! it's likely
the mans a cripple an can't get down."
"A young preacher, who had just
started on his travels as al itinerant was
enc evening holding forth ON the deluge
and after describing the manner ia which
Noah built the Ark, and filled it with an
imals Of every kind, by pairs, closed, in .
solemn tone, thus: s'You must know
my dear bearers, that it was al arduous
task for Noah and his sons to get ii pair
of whales into the Ark!> ps
They that laugh at everything, and
they that fret at everything, are fools
alike.
PROVERBS OF JOSH BILLINGS. -Hu-
man natur Is the same all over the world
'cept In New En9l land, and thar it is &C
scordlng to circumstances.
Rum is good in its place, ard hell is
the place for t.
When Teller gets going down hill
it does seem as though every thing hao
been creased for the oSashun.
He who can wear a shurt q hole
week, and keep it clean, ain t fit for enn,
thing else.
Thieves hunt in couples, but liars
has no accomplices.
There IL multitudes of folks VIII
mean well ennf-but how like the deyi
they act!
-''Give the devil his due reads wei
enuff in a progerb; but, my friend, VIVA
will become nv nae and you if this ar.
rangement is carried out?
THE GOLDEN MEANING talked to
poor fellow the other day, says an East
en- cotemporary, with tears in our eyes