Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-05-07
Little Chicks.


The heads of every radical discourse-wooly
heads.
To have tarts for tea, let your wife see you
kiss the waiting maid
Banks is not going to the holy land-on the
contrary, he has gone to Massachusetts,
1t may be said of good accountant that, I'M
der nearly all circumstances he figures we'll
We are never satisfied that lady understands
kiss unless we have it from her own mouth.
Whose son are you, my little boy?" L amt
nobody son-I am Dir. Jinks' nephew, sir.
A wag says he prevented a case Of hydropho-
bia by getting on a rail fence and staying there
until the dog left
bob Jones, how is your sweetheart getting
along ~ Pretty well, reckon. She says L
neednt call any more.
II have passed through great hardships,
as the schooner said after sailing through tieet
OF iron clads
''You want nothing, do you, said Patrick.
'Bedad, an if it is nothing you want, you Will
find it in the jug where the whisky Was
A lady enjoying a rub of snuff, asked a sad
faced girl, standing by, if she would have some.
No replied the girl, Bridget's nose not hungry.
A Yankee has recently invented rat exter-
minator, consisting of sort OF powder snutt.-
The rat jerks his head off at the third sneeze.
IF Freedom shreked when Kosciusko fell, y
how the old girl must have got up and howled
when the Rump made the military bill law.
Miss, said fop to young lady, what a
pity you wasn't mirror why SOL? SAID
the bushing lady, Because you would be
such good looking lass
ooh, whisper what thou feelest, as one
burglar might observe to another, while the
Il r. Ia
somebody's chest of plate
The Springfield Republican is authority for
the statement. that horse recently ran away
in that city, throwing the driver out, and cut
ting severe cash in one of his hind legs.
A dying West India planter groaned out to
his favorite negro servant 'Ah, Sambo, I'm
going on very long, long, journeyp' Never
mine massa, said the negro, consohngy, him
all down hill.
Not long since youth older in wit than years,
after being catechised concerning the power of
Nature replied: Ma [ think there's one thing
nature can't do. She can't make Bill Jone's
mouth any bigger without setting his ears back.
A sure cure for stammering if you say it fast
'Theopholus Thistle the thistle sitter sifted
a sitter full of unsifted thistles and if Theopho-
lus Thistle the thistle sitter sifted sitter full Of
unsifted thistles where's the sitter full of sifted
thistles that Theopholus Thistle the thistle sif
ter slfted.
''Vat ish de matter?' exclaimed an old leu
ton, as he tucked up his apron and ran out OF
his shop to know the meaning of a crowd in the
street. There is man killed, said look
er on. Oh ish dat all? said our friend in a
disappointed tone, fish dat all ? shust man
kilt! Humph fought it vas fight.
Let me alone. you good for nothing fellow"
exclaimed bright girl seated by the side of a
dull lover.
why, amt a touching Of you, protested
the astonished youth.
''Well, you might have done-if you liked, !"
was the suggestive reply.
An old Scotch lady had an evening party,
where young man was present, who was about
to leave for an appointment In China. AS he
was exceedingly extravagant In his conversation
about himself, the old lady said when he was
leaving: "Tak' guide care O youseP when We
are away for mind We, they eat puppies in
China"
The following scene lately occurred in one of
the courts of justice In New Orleans, between
the judge and Dutch witness, all the way from
Rotterdam:
'What is your native language?'
81 pc no native; Use Dootchman."
'What is your mother tongue ?"
ooh, fader says she pc all tongue
''What language did you first learn? What
language did you speak in the cradle p
II did not speak no language in de cradle; L
only cried in Dootch ~