The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1867-10-16
ShOddy on Stills.

human Justice. Troy Times, 2oth.
shoddy on Stills. "%
The New York correspondent
of the Cincinnati Commercial gives
some amusing gossip. He says:
TIE uERALDRY OFFICE. .
You would hardly suppose any
would be found foolish and vain
enough to patronize such trans
parent sham as the .Heraldry: Or
ice ; but they do very largely,
and it's proprietors have made a
comfortable fortune in the past
fifteen or twenty years. That the
concern Goes, so much. business,
proves how faljacious all Our boast
ed Repubiicanism is; that, many
Of Us who talk on public occasions
Of "our glorious Democracy" have
an inextinguishable, secret fond
ness for rank and ali the gewgaWs
of royal court.
MODE OF, OBTAINING ANCESTORS
One of the first things Mr., or
rather Mrs. Cheapside-for women,
far moro than men, banker after
pseudo aristoeracy-does after?ob-
tanning a fortune and a brown
stone-front in the Avenue, is to
visit the Heraldry office to learn
who she is. Lucifer himself could
not tell even if he would but the
ingenious cbarlatans ip Broadway
can. They receive her very grave
ly and obsequiously; enquire her
own and her husbands name and
that of her nearest relatives look
through several large and antique
volumes; talk a deal of learned,
and to hcrincomprehensible, lingo,
concerning -quarterings, shields,
escutcheons, gules, fields OF azure,
hons and unicorns, rampant, eou-
chant and salient. They then
say: "Ah, yes, madame, I have it
now Your family reof Norman
blood; runs back to. the tenth cen.
tury. Jean Chevreaux, knighted
by. one of the Carlovingian kings
was the founder of the family.
The name, running through Eng
1ish Sources became corrupted NJ
to Cheapside. lean see, madame,
in your face and air, and move
ment, something of the sang dzar,
which it is impossible to mistake.
Long practice has enabled me to
detect a person of gentle blood the
| moment my eyes fall upon hi,n or
her. I can detect the genuine
from the spurious at once. Here
is your court Of arms-a bear with
q battle axe, with the motto Oleu
| ct moi-memc. borne by your gallant
ancestors at Cressy and Augin-
| court on their victorious banners:
Call next week, and I will hand
you your genealogical tree, and
show YOU your ancestry through
EIGHT generations. It will involve
much labor; bnt it is a pleasure to
discover the really noble families
in this country" '...-.>.. -.
MRS. cHEArsIDE As LADY cHEERETx.
Mrs. Cheapside. orLady Chey:
| reux (she pronounces it Sheey;
rocks), as She considers herself,
| departs in the most joyous state
of mind, and is only too happy to
| hand into the Office when she next
| calls two hundred dollars, the price
Of her purchased gentility. =: '7r';&.
The rate for coat Of arms, and
a lineage ranges from $50 to $3.50
or $500, the Fl fgures being regulated
by what the Heraldry people sup
pose the conceited simpletons will
pay. The office understands how
to deal with it's customers. When
they seem to have moderate de-
gree Of common sense, it treats
| them with Il little more delicacy
| than it did Mrs. Chcapside, who
was recognized the moment she
entered as full-blown Shoddyite.
Mrs. Cheapside can be seen any
afternoon, when she is in town, in
the Park with the coat Of arms on
the panels Of her carriage. Her
| tawdry house in the avenue is ha-
zoned with the Chevreux escutch-
con. Her furniture has it. Her
pillow-cases have it. Her hand
kerchiefs have it. Her coachman
wears it on his llat-band. Her
stupid and vulgar children have 1t
wrote on their holiday attire. ..
All this; and yet Mrs. Cheap
sides husband WAS a patent modi:
cine peddlcr ten years ago, and
she herself is the daughter Of 3
toll-gatc keeper at a country cross
roads in Connecticut. Hclas pour
la vonite des fores!