Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1867-04-26


0@ And do not care a red, ff8'
II ms,n ne taps M me ae,', q, the smeller dae.
Let me kiss her for her daddy
The pretty pouttng elf
Or, IL that don't suit the family,
Let me kiss her for myself
--o--------- 81 n ist8
Things Wise 81 Otherwise.
!. The favorite mir now-a-days is mill
lionaire.
AT a recent public meeting In Man
chester, 1t was resolved that "all per-
sons In town, owning dogs, shall be
muzzled.n 8 WI
An unctio,is little paper published In,
the petroleum regions has for its motto:,
Prove oil things; hold fast that which
is good" iA sa8e 9's9
In order to be definite, clergyman
once gave notice that meeting would
be held provided 1t did not storm
enough to require umbrellas.
A polite young lady recently asserted
that she had lived near a barn-yard.
and 1t was impossible for her to sleep In
the morning--on account of the oufcry
made by q gentleman hen. - .,.c ~
An old miser, having listened 10
very eloquent discourse on charity, re-
marked. THAT sermon so strongly
proves the necessity Of almsgiving that
I've almost mind to beg"
When young lady sits In the parlor
during the day, with her lily.white An.
gers covered with rings, / wonder IL
her mother doesn't wash the dishes and
do the work In the kitchen.
Weak doses of washboard are now
recommended to ladies who complain
of dyspepsia. Young men troubled In
the same way may be cured by strong
preparation Of wood-saw.
When young man is clerk i'm store
and dresses like prince, smokes,
foreign CIGARS drinks mice brandy,n
attends theatres, dances and the like, I
wonder Ii he does all on the avails OF
his clerkship.
The largest man In the United States
House OF Representative was Mr.. Bald
win, OF Massachusetts; the smallest,
Mr.. John +. Starr, ('twinkIe, twinkle.
little star, of New Jersey; the taIlest,
Long John Wentworth, of Illinois:
the shortest, Mr.. Brandegree, Connec-
ticut; the handsomest man (although
there Is much dispute on this pointj is
perhaps James G.. Blaine, of Maine.
Our little four-years old Carrie went
The preacher was very earnest in his
delivery, and she was much inter-
ested. Mother said she, when she
came home, "I have heard such smart
minister-he stamped and pounded,
and made such noise and by-and-by,
he got so mad he came out of the pull
pit and shook his fists at the folks aud
there toasn't anybody dared to go up
and fight hiDa!n
Eighteen young ladies who. five
years ago, organized at Milford, Con.
necticut, what they called "Chapter
of Revelations" whose meetings
should occur every five years, at which
each member should relate the most
prominent events I'm her life, held their
first reunion on Tuesday, did the
promised '.revealing,u and drank one
another's healh I'm q bottle of wine
which had been sealed at the society,s
organization. Two of the number had
died and five married since their organ
ization.
An unmittigated wretch complies the
following memoranda for young ladies
Have good piano or none. BE sure
TO have a dreadful cold when asked to
favor the company Cry at spider.
Never leave your curl papers I'm the
drawing-room. Drop your handker-
chief when you ore going to faint.
Mind you are engaged II, you don't like
your partner. Adjure ringlets on a wet
day. Never faint unless II is conveni-
ent to fall into the arms of the young
gentleman you love. Remember, it's
vulgar In the extreme to know what
your mother Is going to have for dinner.
When you GO a shopping, be sure to
take your ma along TO carry the bum
dles.n
went to the Legislature last year.
said Georgian. Well, i went TO Au-
gnsta and took dinner at tavern.
Right beside me sat member from one
of the back towns that had never taken
dinner before ut q tavern i'm his life.
Before his plate was dish of peppers,
and lie kept looking at them. Finally,
as the walters were very slow bringing
on things, he up with his fork and In
less than no time sollsed one into his
mouth. As he brought his grinders
down on 1t, the tears came In his eyes.
AT last, splitting the pepper into his
hand, he laid 1t down by the side of his
plate, and with q voice that set the
whole table in roar, exclaimed, Just
lie there and COOL"
James Parton, who was charged by
the New York Times with writing
recklessly, and with having no respect