Nashville union and dispatch. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1866-1868, 1867-10-05
A HARD SHE'LL SERMON.

My frens and hearers, will preach onto
you this day-win and weather prmitten-
from the thirty-seVenth chapter up Isaisy,
thirty-sixth verse. An the destroyin an
gel smote in the camp Nv the Syreenians
hundred and forescore and five thousing
menreh. And DheR they riz up eqrly IN The
naOTHia, behold deg Wds all dead corpusesi
An thus it is, my unconverted frens and
hearers, that the destroyin angel stalks
abroad with his meat-axe, ready to sen us
to the boneyard before we kin set down to
breaktast-ah. An it is said, my frens, that
roses are red and violets are blue-ah, but
its no use a tryin to honey-fuggle round
the angel Gabriel when he toots his horn
fur you to tuck 20 tails and git under dirt
alb
And when they riz up early in the
mornin, behold they was all dead cor
puses."
My wretched brethring and sistring, es
was a riding along the road one day, |
seen man settin on the top nv his fence,
with doublebarrel shotgun on his lap-ah,
an swettin an fannin Nv hisself with an
old straw hat, and cussin NV the forth Nv
July, and North Ameriky, an the consti-
tuition, an the Supreme Court, an the bird
of liberty, an the President Nv the United
States-ah, an when heard that man a Gus
sin and seen that big shotgun, thinks l to
myself, in the words of the tex-ah.
And when they riz up early in the
mornin, behold they were all dead COR
puses."
An tole old Roam too wo, and SEE /,
MY ungodly fren, if you swear in that air
way you will forever and eternally ruinate
yo immortal soul-ah, and never git nibble
when you go a fshin-ah;" and SEE he.
You go too hell, you dam'd ole misshap-
en-, misbegotten, mistake Nv creaton-ah,
EFF you had to git the grass out Of cotting
crap with free niggers, you'd git upon a
stump an cuss yosef out Nv 20 dam'd ole
yaller hide, an go to hell for 20 health-ah."
An SEE /, MY erin fren, it cuts me to the
marrer to see you struglin in the bondag
Nv sin~ah." An SEE he, "My punkin faced
customer, eff you can cline that air tall red
oak tree thar, an see anything in this here
miserable Ian but bondig and crab grass
you can take my old hat for henness-ah."
An SEE My hard swearin fren, am
afeard that you will never register 70 name
in the book Nv eternal life-ah." An SEE
he, 81 went to town last Monday to register
an couldn't get sight Nv the book for
the dam greasy niggersah." ooh, mis-.
taken human" SEE /, II trimble fur 70
futur, fur you on the road leadin too per
dition-ah." An SEE he, "You air dam'd
ole liar, for Pm on the road leadin to Ben
ton-sh:" heaved groan, my hearers,
an ser
can when they riz up early in the NOR
min, behold they was all dead corpuses."
And sez he, Let EN- riz an be dam'd to
allah" "Oh, my sufferin ereetur," SEE |,
EFF You would but sue fur grace you might
cum to jine that hevenly quire, and be
mancipated frum the shackles Nv sin-ah."
An he cooked up his gun and SEE he, 81
had twenty-six likely niggers mancipated
on my hans wonst, an eff you open 20 jaw
bout Emancipation to me agin I'll make a
buzzard vittles out nv 20 dam'd ole swi7-
eled up ciarkass befe hell could cripple Nv
gnat-ah." My constant frens and hear
ers, when | seen that wicked man a cockin
NV his gun.ah, | begun to feel exceeding
jubous, an the words NV the tex smoted
upon my ear-ah-
''An when they riz up early in the NOR
min, behold they was all dead corpses."
But, my christian hearers, | felt called
upon to try my han one more time on this
objurit man-ah; an SEE i, "My blasphe-
nous fren, you are continually an forever
damd-ah, eff you don't immeiitly git down
DINER that air fence-ah, an 60 to sum Sc
| questered spot an pray fur 20 souls re-
| demption-ah." An he jumped down ofner
the fence, shore enuf, but he didn't go to no
sequestered spot-ah; but, my uncon-
scious hearers, he stuck that big ole double
barrel shotgun close up to my reverend
head-ah, and says he, "Pve hearn a Sc
| quester was the next thing to coniscator,
| and eff that's your business in this here set
Element you had better begin to grow nity
dam small and beautifully less-ah." An
nay hearers, it looked to me as eff drove
Nv mules could trotted down the barrels
NV that ole shotgun-ah, an put spurs TO
ole Roam an galluped through the wilder
ness fur 70 an twenty hours-ah, an thinks |,
my hearers, eff that air man don't pull up
soon, he'll git to the end NV his rope-ah.
San when they rize up early in the
mornin, behold they was all dead corpuses."
An shore enough, my patient hearers, in
about three days that profanated man was
TUX mp by the freedmans buro and tried by
millingtary commission an hung fur a
killing nv a nigger-ah; an my lisnen
frens an hearers, when / seen him standin
on the great emensity Nv space and kick
en- at the 10th district, SEE | too mysef, in
the languig of the inspired minister alb,
One more sinner is dead and gone
| A silver spade to dig his grave,
| A golden chain to let him down,
A buEle horn too blow him on-sh.
AN when they riz up early in the
mornin, behold they was all dead corpus
SEES"