Des Arc weekly citizen., 1867-08-17
Adverusers by the year will ]
SALMAGUNDI.

iearheu, put 10 the good.
 "VoIcEs OF THE NIGHT. frogs and watchmen. w
 gsys"De resolutions is passed, crim con-" was the decision of a negro chair man at Richmond. @
 GN- Eve, according to Milton, kept silence in Eden to hear her husband talk. There have been no Eyes since.
 E-Forget injuries and remember benefits; if you grant favor, forget it; if you receive one, remember it.
 b1-"Didnt you suppose, sir, that kept Bible?' "No, | didn't think that you kept Gods word, as know you never kept your own" s.e
 BG~The old Spanish proverb is hav- ing its fulfillment in our day, ''that by the clergyman's skirts the devil climbs into the belffy."
 g1-A wholesale house in down. east city advertises: eWanted, women to sell on commission" We would suggest as an addenda: "None but the best looking need apply"
 ga~"Seedy Annals" says: "If the adage is true that none but the brave deserve the FARE what courageous set of fellows some of these Western railroad conductors must be-
 RECIPE FOR MAKING LovE.-Take two parts sugar, three of soft soap, little sage, plenty of summer savory, and add little wine; mix well to- gether, and leave the whole to s'sett" for two or three nights. It is best taken while hot.
 Bsy-At Methodist meeting, the singer who led the psalm tunes, finding that his concluding word, which was Jacob, had not syllables enough to fill up the music adequately, ended thus: Ja-a-a--Ja-a-a--tol de riddle-cobP
 SsE-It is stated by some wiseacre that the heart of man weighs about nine ounces, that of woman about eight.- As the age increases, a mans heart grows heavier, and the woman's light er--somc girls lose theirs at sixteen.
 lS~Doctor,' said despairing patient to his physician, I am in dreadful situation can neither LAY nor sET- what shall do?' Why, then, replied the doctor, I think you had better BOOST
 ToBACCo.-Tobacco ill excess fouls the breath, disorders the teeth. soils the complexion. deranges the nerves, reduces vitality, and imrairs the sensi- bility to beauty and to pleasure also promotes idleness and degrades the man.
 pSy~Ths is the age of monuments. The Sandwich Islanders are about to erect one in honor of Captain Cook, as a slight atonement for the conduct of their forefathers in eating him.
 pg~"Have your cabbages tender hearts?' asked woman of cabbage monger. "They can't have anything else, ma 'am," was the reply, "for they have been with me crying about the streets all the morning."
 HIr HIM AGAIN.-They Killed cr9sus, the rich old Roman, by pouring his own molten gold down his throat Prentice says that Gen. Buffers silver spoons should be melted and poured down his.
 gsg.'What do you call thisf' said Mir. Jones Smith, gently tapping his break fast with his fork. Call it?' snarled the landlady, What do you CALL it? Well, really said Smith, I don't know. There is hardly enough hair in 1t for mortar, but there is entirely too much if it is intended for hashv
 nN~The well-informed woman may generally be known, not so much by what she tells you, as by what she does not tell you; for she is the last to take pleasure in mere gossip, or to make vulgar allusion to the appearance, dress. or personal habits of her friends and neighbors.
 psy-That was very pretty conccit Of a romantic husband and father whose name was Rose, who named his daugh- ter "wild," so that she grew up under the appella,ion of "Wild Rose" But the romance of the name was sadly spoiled in few years, when she mar ricd man by the name of "Bull.'
 nrIt seems that the End-of-the- World Dr. Cummings, made . triaing error in his calculations concerning the total destruction to take place in 1867. In revising his work he found that he had overlooked figures which add something like a million of years to the race which this mundane sphere has to run. We feel relievedl
 pv-Old X. was an inveteratc "dead head" He had no possible claim what ever upon the managers, but he always got into the theatre without paying. One night he appeared at the door, as usual. "Here, can't pass you," said the deorkeeper in surly way. "You needing pass me" said the irrepressible deadhead; "just stand where you are, and I'll pass you" And he did.
 Ds8-A Mir. Jones has recently revived the phonetic system in England. It is only prejudice of the eye, says Mir. Jones, that keeps us from saying: sDic gave Jac kic, when Jac gave Die noe on the bac with thic stic.'