The Charleston daily news. [volume] (Charleston, S.C.) 1865-1873, 1867-08-03
widowers-Their Evils and Their Pecu'
From the Pail Mall Ga-ette.l

From the Pull Mall Gazette.
By observation and inquiry We have arrived at
the conclusion that widowers are considered Dy
women as moro desirable even than single men;
This may be owing to tho air OF protection ana
easy experienced manners which come naturally
to these gentlemen, and are well calculated 10 I'M
press young and unsophisticated minds with an
unreasonable sense of inferority. Ii is the Lame
as in our young days used to opprcss us when We
behold man in spanSles and tlesh-coored tights
mako his bow with smile OF triumph, ana nnS
bimsclf on his wild Arab barb or mlik-wintc stecu
We wondered how he did it with such o fascinating
easc. We saw not the straining or striving, the
falls and failures, which went to make up that sue
cess, and in tho wel-subdued grief OF the wdow-
er in his confidential manner toward young Woliien'
in tho air OF acknowledged merit which nc as
sumcs, we only sec man visby rep3slnS on MS
laurcls who thinks he deserves well OF his coun-
try, and has earned either an honorable ease OF
the right of choice as to future strife. We know
little of the battles ho has lost, the disasters ne
has suffered, and the rcversos he has sustained,
which all must occasionally do WHO contend
/ = women.
Somc wi'lowcrs, chiefly these whose matrimonial
experiences have not been pleasant, and nave,
therefore, begotten spirit OF cunning evasion, or
eve, of downright vindictivcaess, make an S esli
use of the insight into woman's nature Which they
have gained. They know to fraction the amount
of knavery, which, if it be gracefully, may also pe
successfully pTacticcd and are well aware that, by
the timely concession OF elIaaow, they can almos1
and loXterous, but net very respectable ntrts'
hanging about young girls, winning their anec-
tions consulting them, confding, or pretending 10
confile in them, with brothcry OF iathcriy DC
| meanor, awakening, as they are perfectly aware
feelings that arc neither sistcry nor tial; and all
this without any serious idea OF marriage. vi
course such conduct is simply detesta6lc, ana Is
regarded generally as such by all mon 1t would DC
well for such widowers to be strictly cOnfned 10
the society Of WIDOWS from whom they would
receive short shrlft little mercy, and in the END
perhaps short rope rather than long one. Wld-
ows are, indeed, commonly, 1t may, be from inc
nature OF the case, more sincere and drectln tner
matrimonial intentions than wldowers. 1t Is tole-
rably certain that the possession of children by
previous marriage is no kind OF drawDacK 10 the
prospects OF widower i'll contracting second
alliance, whether because OF the anScnc compass
sion inherent to the feminine nature, which makes
women yearn to be mothers to the motherless, or
from a somewhat different spirit, which causes
them to long for q strife in which tho vile Is Al
most sure OF Victory, though sho may leave the
battle wearied and bleeding fcom all her wounds,
and the triumph be but over boys and girls, or, as
sometimes happens, over the lingering memory OF
O departed spirit.
AS rule, when the children are young, and
tho mothcr-in-aw and tho maiden auiits arc either
non-oxistent or residing at distance, a man IS
wise to marry again; but q second marriage Is OF
ten contracted under very opposite circumstances,
out of certain sollishncss and masculine lnun-
ference to minor considerations. II there are
its consequences, tho fear O. which, however,
rarely deters He knows that there will be bicker-
ings and contentious but he hopes 10 DC aDsenE %
when they occur, or to be able to ignore thcm IL
always go out, banging the door behind him as
sign ct his disPleasure, ana and, leaving ,1r tne
ing been the means of driving the man
OF the house from his hreslao. II ne.5ne5 aIea
of these ways is open to him. and he is compelled
by an evil chance to sit Mt home, SPECTATOR VI
the war, Le can easily make himself the greatest
Turk of the 1d and so obtain, II not peace, an Gu
durable though suen gu et indeed tho IGpusa
for the possessor, that we are often surprised ana
thankful that it is not more often sought after.
Where there are sons and no daughters, Inc op-
lection almost yanishes; between sons ana ! tncn
ssfenmother very sincere and admirable aifectloh
often springs up, which is productive OF the nap
picst effects; ard this occurs especially wIen the
father fails in any one Of his duties s-for young
men ore quick-sighted about the shortcomings u
the old. -,...o, ,,,oot;,,s
somctimes arise with regard to the effects OF the
lonartcd We never hoard OF WIDOW wno ar
rayed her second in the coat, trowsers anu Doo5s
of her first husband, and probably no man wouiu
like /, be So arrayed; but o widower often hands
over the clothes qf his first wife to the second,
and eynects her to ssmahe them do, as the ladles
exnress IL, for season. Perhaps u women held
the purse they would be as little hkely to Gress ores
themselves in old clothes as men am ~ 1 Is SsU I.O
bit of shabhincss on the husDalos paf' WHICH,
things arc ordered otherwise; :.
hs TO the happiues which widowors may de-
rive by second union from tho confessions tlat
have boon made to us we arc lnduGeu 10 peneVc
that the chances are unfavorable. If a man has
beon happy with rs first wife, he will very LIKE nnG
" to think that the Same manners, customs anu
rules will guide him safely for the future ana
will act under that 1ofSeISns rorss , to to
be- be- treated with individually, and thpt what what
brought peace at the first will by no means insure M
peace at the last. But if he has been wretchod IN IN
lis previous marriage he has been roaLIy ol
brace tho opportunity afforded by now state OF
things to establish severe and vcxatious dlscl-
pIinc which very gentle woman may feel driven