The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1867-01-11
COnjugal Duties.

sense. His style is peculiar; and on this ac
count the more attractive and impressive. In
MS opinions upon this point he Is Joined by
many other eminent writer's. There can be
No uou't that early marriages, where the at
'''nii'eht Is mutual and sincere, have the ad-
vantage OF producing greater identity of
character and feelings in the parties than can
be well cultivated in any subseouent jise vben
the habits become more fixed and pneonous,-
able; and besides, by entering early uror .ba
responsibilities of the married state ro,,-,e,
people are more likely to become settled In
some definite purpose of lie, and feel called
upon, by necessity for exertion, which is al
ways an indispensable condition of succass
and often of virtue. The history of conuu-
bial connections shows that those families en-
joy the greatest degree of mutual happiness
and succeed best in the affairs of lire, where
the parents formed their connections in ear
ly life whilst every affection was earnest and
sincere, and whilst the yet somewhat un-
formed characters were not so confirmed and
ihhexibie but that the husband and wife could
ma IL easy to become assimilated into one
mould Much disparity in the age of hus-
band and wife Is hazardous to a true union.
There Is something unnatural in such con-
nection. God never made the old to enioy
the society of young people as equals and
helpmates.
But 1t was not our design to indite, here. an
essay on early marriages. We had it in our
mind, rather to discourse little upon certain
things that are necessary to maintain and uer-
petuate happiness in the domestic sanctuary.
And first, as to the husband. Home must be
10 him the central point of his attractions.
Wherever he roams, whatever he Is about, his
heart must turn thither with an ardent affec
ton and solicitude If he ieels uneasy in the
society OF his family, one of two things may
be set down as true either he Is an unnat-
ural father, or be is unfortunate In a partner
whose dispositions are calculated to discour-
age and ALLEVIATE him. A man will, most like
ly, spend his leisure hours where he can find
the most agreeable companionship. If those
hours are not devoted to the society of his
his wife aud home, but to the company of
others, his wife will not be long In detecting
49, AoS'AhsHNhS, dA1u WnSu sue sees nerSelf
neglected, she feels adagser in her heart more
cruel than steel If you would make home
place OF happiness, devote your spare hours
tc the conpanionship of her who has sur
rendered her all to you in the marriage coy-
enant. Never give her occasion to suspect
that you delight more in the society of others
Above all, spend not the hours which should
be devoted to make home happy, in tayerns,
grop-shops or gaming g-houses.
We suppose all women win agree to the
propriety of this advice; but let them not for
get that they too have an important duty to
perform here, which Is indispensable to that
strength Of attachment and to those affections
which are to make home heaven. 1t Is wo-
man that weaves the cords which bind the
heart of her husband to herself and home. In
order for the husband to find happiness in
his own house, and hence, In order to make
him desire this as the great object of his af-
fection, let him be treated with respect, court
esy and kindness. When he enters the house.
wearied by the cares and labors of Hfe-a life
devoted to the support OF his Eamily-Iet him
not be met with churlish look, or with a re-
pulsive indifference. The world without il
sufficiently i,nEiA..-siy.- Tuere IS too much of
selfshness evinced In all the business relation,
OF life; against such friendliness and selfss-
ness he is called constantly to contend; and
this he does for the sake of his wife and little
ones. But II on entering his house, he meets
with no sympathy in the vile, ii she mani
tests little or no concern whether he has been
successful or not, if she makes no effort to re-
| joice in his good fortunes or TO cheer his de-
pressed spwit under failures, his very heart
will sisken with disappointment and grief;
and it need not be wonder II his ambition is
destroyed, his efforts parslyzed and he seeks
for sympathy and converse somewhere else
than at home. Woman is the sun OF the do
mestic circle. Much depends upon her wheth-
er the husband shall lind pleasure in bis own
castle, or whether he shall roam about for
the needed crumbs of comfort" To secure
her own happiness by making her husband
delight in her society, she has a duty to
perform which, If neglected, will make q he'll
OF what was designed to be heaven. True
by kindly counsel to correct whatever of er
rors in his partner tend to discourage and re-
pei him but If his entreaties aud advice are
met only by railing and abuse he will give M
in despair, and consider his life doomed tc
misery.
Much of the unhappiness that exists in
families might be prevented and cured, If both
husband and wife would agree amongst them
selves-and carefully abide by the agreement
never, under any proyocation, to utter re
eriminatory or unkind word. Or If one par
ty, in a moment OF impatience, does speal
harshly, let the other reply only in the ton,
and air Of devoted kindness. Ifthey canno
speak in the language of friendship, let them
Tor the time being, keep silent. We say a
they cannot" but it is lamentable condition
OF domestic affairs when silence is the onI,
way to prevent disputes and quarrels. Hus
band and wife should converse together
much and often, and each should strive to in
troduce such topics of conversation as ar,
known TO be agreeable, and 10 carry on thei
part OF 1t In such manner as to please ans
edify.
There should be no secrets between bosom
| companions. Each should frankly be let into
the wishes and designs of the other. 1t Is 6
very serious thing to be connected with an
other Tor life; too many enter upon such
relation rashly and without due considera
ton. But when it Is entered into, let eact
party remember that he and she both have
reciprocal duties to perform on which depend
their success and happiness. Those dutie.
will be always obvious. They will seldou
need prompter where there is a wlllins
mind. The circumstances OF every day vii
suggest them; and if one party Is unhappy In
the other, let him OF her first ask the ques
tion-''may not the fault be mine ?" and ie
each bestow attention and care to remove the
causes which are seen to contribute to thu
discomfort and unhappiness of the other. Ii
this way, life will be rendered comparatively
happy by mitigation Of most OF its evils.
81. TRAxI.
VARIETIEs.