Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1867-03-15
Wit and EaHn,or.


~
Wit and sa8nior.
Gambling in grain is specializing in
lot o. rye.
When joker dies, what kind of a
vehicle does he make. Answer. A wag-gone.
When have married people passed
through the alphabet of love- When they reach
An advertiser in ore Of our OK
changes wants "a young man to take charge Of 4
span of horses of religious turn of mind
=" Have you much 1ish in your
basketf' asked person Of fisherman. who was
returning. Yes, good eel" was the rather
slippery reply.
Josh Billings said the other night,
that a good way for to bring up child IN
the way il shond go, was TO travel that way occl-
sionaly himself.
a locomotive on Westerl. railroad
has been adorned with the title. i still i've
at the end OF their journey.
-"Mr. Smith, you said you boarded
at the Columbian Hotel FOR six months-dd you foot
your bilis' No sir. but II amounted to the same
thing-the landlord footed me-
A gentleman Just returned to this
country from a tour in Italy wa. asked how he
liked the ruins OF Pompeii. :" Not very well,
the reply, they are so ont OF repair"
Lord Buckingham was once at din
ner where Mir. Grub was required TO sing. He
begged To be excused, urging that he knew not
what to sing Sing Id be butterfly" suggested
the nobleman.
suppose queen resolves TO pare her
thumb nails only once in seven years, why is that
year like the said queens robes az ofices Answer
because II Is her pareof-her nail-year. a patept
Ia applied for.
An author, who had given q comedy
into the hands of Footc FOR his pernsal calling on
him for his opinion of the piece, Foote returned
the play with grave face saying, Sir, depend
upon it, this lie thing not to be laughed at"
"A gentleman having occasion TO call
upon an author. found him in his study, writing.
He remarked the great heat OF the apartment, and
said: Ii is hot a. an oven. 80 it ought to be- y
replied sthe author, for it's hero L make my
bread"
An absent minded gentleman en-
tered Blenl<er's blacksmith shop in Evansville,
Ind last Saturday and ordered his horse shod. On
oeing asked where his horse was, he looked down
.. his feet and exclaimed, why, i thought was
ridingi"
An Irish boy, trying hard TO get a
place denied that he was Irish. Il don't know
this do know that you were born in Ireland"
"Och, yer honor, IL that's al. email blame that.
Suppose your old cat had kittens in the oven
woald they be loavcs OF bread" The boy got the
place.
"A newly arrived boardsr at one oil
| our fashionable boarding houses thought he had
not sufficient bosterng for his lead, and accord
|
room. who inquired what he desired. The gentle
| man wanted to know what the articles We're which
he held IN his handss Pillow, you impudent
| fellow y screamed the enraged woman. oh
thought they pin cushions ~ replied the dis
| consulate bosrder
| Mr.. B. accompanied By his wife
No. 8. called on Mr.. s. TO engage tombstone
for w M9 e While Mi .ees; the knight f the
think yoT OUR arc one % Of the lgckess men eyel
are with your third wife and the most Of Us Peol
- No. 3 went into an outburst Of laughter mo-
readily described.
Daniel OConnell saved a cow THE
| from hanging. though the fellow was condemned
| to transportation He afterwards returned to Ire
| land and made himself known to o'Connell, and
in auital for his services counsel, said he
| would impart valuable secret, IF your honor
wants 10 steal cow 60 on dark, rainy night and
take a COW that stands ont in the field. and surC
| yen get good one. The weakly ones, yer honor
always shelter under the hedge II the weather il
bad"
-'The Maine Farmer tells story o.
| a man whom tcalls Neverbeat. Somebody having
| boosted of the speed of his horse Neverbeat re
joined, why, the other day. was up 10 S.
| sixteen miles distant just as started for home
| shower came sweeping on. The rain struck in tn,
| back part OF the wagon, and the moment it struck
| hit old Kate cut with the whip; away sh,
trotted. scarcely touching her forefeet TO tn,
ground; she kept nip and nip with the shower
The wagon was allied with water, but not droI
fell on me-"
Winch Is WHIcH-"Ah Pat!" said
school mistress to thick headed urchin
into whose muddy brain she wasattempt
ing to beat the alphabet, I'm afraid you'll
never learn anythink. Now what's tina
letter, eh?"
"Sure don't you know, ma'am?' repliet
Pat.
Thought you could have remembered
that"
"Why, ma ann"
because il has a dot over the top of ii.
ooh, ma'am mind it well, but sure
thought it was fly speck"
We'll, now, remember, Pat, it's /. !"
"You, ma'am? ,"
"No, mol not U, but I, blockhead."
"Oh, yesi faith now have it, ma
you mean to say thatyou, not /, are block
head"
"Fool, fool," exclaimed the lady, almos
bursting with rage.
"Jist as you Place" replied Pat
"Fool or blockhead, it's no matter which
We are to me, so long as you are free Il
own it."
I'm place not hundred miles from
Dublin young man by the name of Cool
sent the following valentine to his sweet
heart, who rejoiced in the name O
Crozier:
"I would were bishop;
The reason you may guess;
For If bishop could be,
A Crozier I'd possess"
To which he received the following
reply:
II do not wish your plan success;
The reason you may see;
| For though Crozler you d possess,
/ but Cook should be-"
Submarine telegraphic items seem oc
casionally to get tempered with in transitu
probably by some aquatic meddler who's
knowledge of English is defective. On
received recently in London from Indi
read: Decor luco appointy to finlo.