Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1867-09-05

Through the prefix Of honorable in
tba AlOyJiinJ Compost, he derives ecstacy,
As bows suck bliss out Of q cider barrel.
II inteusiies the rubicund luster Of his
Websterian visage, and stimulates the
flow Of amber juices from each corner OF
that Ciceronian orifce, known as the
mouth of the oracle.
And so on further, until I might make
the " grand rounds of a motley multi
tude, who have an itching for newspaper
celebrity of the sensational and highly
favored sort, like Miss FlOrilla and the
doctor. or our friend Smackem, who has
been written on the page of history as
the " concentrated essence Of American
Dafriotism:U - or Deacon Hsultaut, who
Is a stereotyped edition Of 'all christian
grsces,u - or Mr.. GambOlier Dressum, Of
whom a needy local hath said that his
muuifieent liberality and self-sSerihcing
spirit Of accommodation, during period
of great financial stringency hsve en-
deared him to many q fellOw-citlzen IN
the hour OF adversely '-st the low rate
of five per cent. q month!
It will readily be seen, where there Is
surh a general thirst for uotoriety, in
addition to the advertising wants of
commercial community, equally pos
sassed with a morbid appetite Tor the
stimulus of newspaper adulatiOn, that
the edinIrial puff must become notable
institution, like some other commodities,
10 be bought, sold, bartered or used as
collateral, and "no questions asked"
So many lines, st so much line or so
much in bulk, with the proper admixture
of adieetives, form a combination OF
alcheInic potency for the manufacture OF
fame, fortune and reputation.
In this remarkable age of ours, editors
themselves can hardly live without 1t.
They cannot write up characters to order,
without it. Statesmen cannot be carved
out Of Eastwood without it. 1t goes
long way towards the construction Of
military renown and brigadier generals
Poets. sometimes, waiting for an intro
dncriou TO the MUSES., have to draw on
it for "divine stfiatus." 1t supplies
unction to a certain class Of preachers;
and. ont of its magical resources, the
quack, butfOOn and eharlatan win
wealth and power in life and pOmp and
pageantry in death.
- But the thought occurs to me" said
Magnolia. "that system which pam
pers q very vulgar appetite, and not sell
dom at the expense of truth, good sense
and good morals, is not altogether legiti-
mate, nor calculated to confirm our faith
ina the public journals; and when il comes
10 the advertisement Of ones business or
profession, why can it not be done in
more becoming style and in the proper
place, and with At least distant show OF
regard 10 common veTaeity.N
III tell you why. The great question
which now sgitstes the moral universe,
before which the reconstruction OF these
unhappy territories and the chronological
status of the negro fade into insignid-
eance, resolves itself into these:
Sc VIZ it PGy2 and, What 1CaI It pay -
Truth is q good thing, in ber way, but
better. out OF the way. She is " crushed
10 earth - and as 10 her rising again"
that's but the fancy Of an antiquated
poet. She's down now, for & certainty,
and her head lin ehancery."
But TO return from our digresslon-
Here is a model notice, the analysis Of
which may aid Us in our lucabrations
lust at this point. l find it in the Com
post:
:, ,PERsoNAL.-We are reiOieed to wei
come back to the hospitable hearts and
homes of Memphis, the eminent advo-
cate and accomplished barrister, Mr..
Hvoscvanus BuRgs. Our learned friend
has been rusticating for 3 few weeks
among the hunting and fishing grounds
Of Minnesota, and returns TO his arduOus
Dositioy, at the bar in a most eXuberant
state of convalescence. We take pleas
IRE in suggesting TO such Of our fellow
citizens as need the services Of a profound
iurist. that Mr.. Buggs may be found at
the Office Of Bugs x Shyster, Strychnine
alley"
II will at once be apprehended that
Mr.. Bugs, returning from bis up river
soiourn, desires to put in an appearance,
and Of course in sHch way as TO benent
his professional aspirations. If Il were
simply announced that " Lawyer Buggs
bad got home and might be found at his
Office although this might be exceed
inglv proper and rigidly true, yet such a
STUPID notice would have paid neither
the editor nor the counselor.
AS 1t is, the grandiloquent flourish
with which the individual Is again
u.hered into the hearts and homes Of
Memphis, IS if he were Marshall or
Story. rediUiUus, not only remunerates
the writer for the talent and skill in
vested. but creates in Mr., Buggs most
benign and agreeable sense Of self-im-
pOrtRnce.
To be sure, 1t places him before his
friends in q somewhat dramatic costume,
but then the successes of life, as q general
thing. are more dramatic than real. A
man ia always thought more Of, for
what he ISN'T, than for what be is. So
Mr. r = friends call him brick, invite
him 10 drink, and employ his services in 1
the metropolitan courts. The multitude,
who have a tacit sort of belief 10 the in
falliblity Of their newspaper, take it for
granted that Buggs IS very heavy dog
and the general eonclusion is that he Is
doubtless q good fellow, not afraid to
show his hand, and in no danger Of de-
fault on account Of an overwhelming
mOdesty.
The following notice will further Illus
trate my meaning;
/" We could not repTess "A smile, local
editors don't, often, as we entered the
inviting precincts OF the st' Gam orlnus
restaurant, recently opened in the base
ment Of Pyramid block. Fitted up in
fhe most gorgeous and recherche man
ner. IL il indeed a perfect b{jOu, where
Gentlemen may rely upon finding all
Inc comforts Of home, and more too. !
M. schmidt, the urbane proprietor, is s
geRtlernan Of barOnial extraction aud
Classic attAinments, and in no way con-
neeted with the Smith family OF
Americs."
n the local editor had simply given
publicity to the unvarnished fact that
Iobn Smith had opened q new lager
beer saloon, and would like TO see the
hovs alongside his bar, throwing
for drinks, Mr.. John Smith would
NOT have felt at all satisfied. He
wants to buy an air Of respectability
from the newspaper, so that gentle
men - may come 20 him for the comforts
of a home, but the matter-of-fact an
nouncenent would have been no better
TO him than last years advertise n1ent.
1t wouldn't have paid Alr. Smith-it
wouldn't have "paid" Mr. EditOr-Gnd
might have unfortunately eventusted in
depriviug the city Of one of her chief
wants, q new drinking saloon.
On the same principle of mutual profit,
again, the Compost fayors US also with
the following elegant conception, which
occupies the most conspicuous place in
the local columns:
" We take infinite pleasure in stating
to the innumerable multitude who Pc
ruse the Daily Compost that Prof.
Thomas Jones, a chiropodist of distin-
guished fame, has arrived in the city,
aud taken rooms at the Occidental house.
He performs the most complicated ope-
rations with complete surgical success
and bears with him numerous testimo-
malls OF bis skill, corroborated by the
bunions themselves, preserved in spirits. -
Now as no one, at all affected with
gentility, would have called upon "Tona.
Jones, the coTn-doctoT," for the relief of
his sUfferings, who may question the
BrOpriety of serving him up as a live
professor and parading his wonderful
skill as an item Of local news, couched
in the best literary style Of the art, and
personally indorsed by the editor him
llelf7 ~ A-1tl
And so might go on fFam day 10 day.
In the paper before me, eat OF twenty
nine distinct and separate items ia what