The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1867-10-03
A DEAF WIFE AND A DEAF AUNT

A DEAF WEE AND A DEAF AUNT.
Il had an aunt coming TO visit me for
the first time since my marriage, and
don't know what evil genius it was that
prompted the wickedness that perpe.
trated on my wife and ancient relative.
"My dear" said to wife, on the day
before nay cunts arrival, "you know
Aunt Mary is coming to- morrow; we'll
i forgot to mention very annoying cir
cumstance ia regard to her She is very
deaf, and although she can hear my
voice, to which. she IS accustomed, In its
ordinary tones, yet you will be obliged
to speak extremely loud in order to be
heard. It wall be rather incoRvenient,
but l know you will do everything in
your power 10 make her stay agreeable.
then won't to John T, who loves
joke about as well as any person /
know Of; told him to be at nay house
about six O'Clock the next evening, and
1 felt comparatively happy.
went to the railroad depot. with q
carriage the next night, and ca my way
home with my aunt, said:
"My dear aunt, there is one rather
annoying inarmity that Anna (my wife)
hos, which forgot to mention before.
She's very deaf, and although she can
hear my voice, TO which che 10 accus-
toned, in 1ts ordinary tones, yet you
will have to speak extremely loud in or
der 10 be beard. ] am very sorry she is
so''
Aunt Msry, ia the goodness OF her
heart, protested 1l,s. she rather liked
speaking loud, and TO do 90 would give
her much pleasure.
The CARNAGE drove ap-oa the steps
was my wife-in the window was John
E, with face as solema % though
he had buried all his relations that after
noon.
handed out my sunt--she ascended
the steps. - sane l.
How delighted am TO zee you shirsk-
ed my wife, The policemen on the OPP
posite sidewalk started, and my aunt
nearly fell down the steps.
Kiss me my dear, howlea uy aunt
The i,all lamp clsttered, aAA the window
shook a. with fever and agoe. Hooked
at the window-John had disappeared.
1 poked my head into the carriage and
went into strong .cenvulsioas.
When I went into the parler, my wife
was helping Aunt Mary take on her hat
and cape, and there sat John with his
long face Of woe.
Suddenly
Did you have a pleasant journey p
went of my wife like pistol, and John
nearly jumped to his feet. ,'a
Rather dusty, was the response In q
war-whoop, and % the conversation
continued.
The neighbors, for blocks around
must have heard it. When 1 was in the
third story d.heard every word plainly.
During the evening my aunt said to
me: "How loud your wife speaks
don't It hurt her -"
1 told her that all deaf people spoke
loudly, and that my wife baing used to
it, was not affected by the exertion, and
4 that Aunt Mary was getting along finely.
Preseutly my wife, in whisper, said:
"Alf. how very loud your aunt talks. !"
Yes" said I "all deaf people do.
You are getting along nicely; she hears
every word you say"
And rather think she did.
Flattered At the success 1t being under
stood. they went 1t hammer and tongs.
till everything on the mantiepiece ratified
again, and WAS seriously afraid OF q
crowd eonectingin front OF the house.
!, But the.end was near. Ny aunt being
of an Investigating turn Of mind. was
desirous Of finding out whether the ex-
ertion Of talking so loud was not inju-
rious to my wife So
Doesn't talking in 50 loud tone
strain your lungs2" she asked in an un-
earthly tone, for her voice was not as
musical as when she was young.
AFT is quite an ,exeraon," shrieked
- my VIZ va, ~ 49, -..~
answering scream.
Dcc"uno-7SoC"Uoo yVs S~AA y ncSA -
vdon't''
I" WHAT Ny "ulft fairly rivaled a
railroad whistle. !
began to think it time to evacuate
the premises, and looking round and
seeeing John gone, ! stepped into the
next room. There he lay fat on his
back, rolling from side to side, with fists
poked into Vie ribs, and . most agoniz-
ing expression Of countenanee, but not
utteYing sound.