The western Democrat. [volume] (Charlotte, N.C.) 1852-1870, 1867-07-02
RULES FOR coURTINa.

The following good advice on the above sub-
ject is from the pen of John Quill, who seems to
have had rather blissful experience in relation
| to such matters: 49, ia saL
| l. Never 60 courtiug the girls parents. You'd
better edge up to the charmer herself at once /;
for you cant marry her if you dou't try, unless
she wants you, and you may be able to even if
the old folks are hard on you.
z. BY all means get the girls ma down on
you as much as possible. II the old ladyis
| always blowing against you, the little dear be-
gins to take your part, and cant help loving
you. did this way, and my present mother
in-law used to throw brooms and washboards nc
me, and teach the dog to bite me in the trowsers
as climbed over the fence She's got over IL
pow, and lives at my house without paying
board. If remorse testers in her soul 10 conse-
quence of her conduct however, haven't
noticed it yet.
3. IF you see any other fellows prowling about
always euchre them if you can, If you see one
OF them buying tickets for the opera, 60 right
up and make an engagement with the girl, and
get your tickets afterwards; aud when they
visit the house always act as if you were at homo
aud they were only visitors, and never leave
first. always did this, and have frequently
sa: until daybreak, while the fair one snored
sir, ha ha guess not. l would have been
there yet if the fellow had stayed.
4. IF the old man has worldly wealth, express
dislike to greenbacks, and hankering after
love in small house. .>
5. When you inquire if she will have you,
don't fall on your knees--it's ridiculous, besides
being rough on trousers Just take her hand
and speak out like man. ";-atsrA
g. When you are engaged, don't 60 off like
an old jackass, and begin Buying teaspoons, and
wash boilers, and candles. Its very unwise aud
excites comment Why I recollect l was 90
glad that l went right off and purchased baby
jumper and gum ring 1t was long while
ere those things were necessary, and the baby
jumper had shrunk so that when we put the
first of the little Quis into it, it suddenly jerked
up, and came frightfully near 5sttering the de-
voted child's brains out against the ceiling,
while the gum ring, having been kept 10 box
with cock roach poison, threw the baby into fits,
and he Git was boy had spasms 10 the crib
for four days
7. IF a girl refuses you don't give it up, but
try it again. Because two negatives make an
affirmative in grammar; however, don't con-
slider yourself accepted when girl jilts you
twice. l asked one female forty-one times, and
at last she got to expect it whenever I came,
top of the stairs before got fairly in the house.
Kiss all the little children 10 q house, even
if they are dirty and do smear molasses candy
in your hair. Let the boy play horse with you
and make fool of you generally. 1t is trump
card if you play it right. -.s :.
9. And finally, if there are two sisters, and
the old one is jealous, get some one to choke her
off while you 60 in for the younger did that
once, and used to get my friends to ask the
senior girl out every evening; but she found me
out and used to arrange hair pins in the sofa
cushions before she went out, SO that it vas ex.
tremely uncomfortable. .....