Weekly Calaveras chronicle. (Mokelumne Hill, Calaveras County, Cal.) 18??-1874, 1867-12-14
HOW PUT NY FOOT IN IT.
BY T. KETTLE.

L am that rdrd aus, bashtul man
not fellow who sometimes feels
trihe disconnected where he is not we'll
acquainted, and, like cat, requires a
little judicious patting on the head to
make him purr complaceutly, but cery
bashful man. The presence Of stran-
gers, particularly those of the feminine
gender, always shuts me up as tight as
an oyster, and any attempt to draw me
into conversation at such time will
frequently throw me into cold perspi-
ration and reduce me at once to a con-
dition Of incipient idiocy. | am pos
sesscd of only the regulation amount of
hands and feet Of about the average size,
but if | had been built after the origi-
nal model Of Nishnu, could have no
more trouble in managing them. They
are not only perpctually in my own way,
Chat | have become quite used to- but
are continually getting me into hot wa
ter with other people. l suppose have
''knocked down. (and invariably smash
ed to greater extent than the Oldest
car conductor in the metropolis. l
could not prevent slight tinge of envy
from mixing with the pity | felt for a
poor fellow sitting in Printing House
Square last week whiting by means of
his toes He had no arms to bother
him, which left him free to concentrate
his whole mind upon the management
of his feet, aud he did with them what
| have very often wished, in vain, to
do-cut his stick with ecIat. [ gave
him small stamp on account of his
misfortune, but am not quite certain
that his claims to commiseration are
any greater than my own.
My bashfulness was born in me. As
baby | was afraid of strangers, and
even the dignity and self importance
inseparable FROM a first pair Of trousers
could not prevent my being frightened
nearly into fits by an unexpected inqui-
ry from ga man and brother regarding
the state Of our hitchen chimney, when
| was summing said pair for the first
time, and trying to look as though |
was used to them.
1t WAS fondly supposed by my admir-
ing parents that | would outgrow my
weakness instead of which, as though
it had become chronic through the
agency of pantaloons, it increased grad
ually with the size of each successive
pair, and by the time the latter had be-
come long enough to hang upon pair
of suspenders, | was fairly given up by
my friends as a painfully bashful
young man." and in that opinion l
could cordially agree with them. In
cipient whiskers brought no healing on
their wings; but pride, and con-
seriousness Of my failing, helped to
certain extent, to overcome it, so that,
under very favorable circumstances, |
could behave myself quite like ration
al being, and consequently enjoyed the
society of those of my own age, as any
sensible person will. Probably the
pleasure was greater on account of its
novelty, as well as of the good fleet l
could perceive it was having upon me-
About this time l became acquainted
with Miss Araminta Young, fair dam
sci of apparently about thirty-fve years,
who wore curls, could write poetry by
the square yard, acknowledged to hav-
ing seen her twenty-third birthday, and
confessed that she adored society. At
the first sight of her l was struck with
the impression that she was in a sort
of unfinished state, and the idea really
troubled NE considerably, until upon
serious reflection l concluded that the
keystone of her arch would be pair of
gold, strong-minded spectacles. With
these, the tout ensemble would have
been perfect; but if she ever wore
them, l never knew it, and during the
whole of or acquaintance l always felt
that vague, uneasy sensation of some
thing wanting whenever l looked at
her. But that did not prevent US from
soon becoming great friends, Some