North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-08-14
WHOLE No. 565.
S0lilOquy Of q Loafer.

Let's see, where am I 4? This is-coal
I'm layin' on. How'd get here? Yes, /
mind now. Was comm up the street-met
a wheel-barrow-wasd drunk, comm tother
way, the wheel-barrow fell over me, or l
over the wheel-barrow-don't know which
guess it must have been me. I'm nice
man, yes l am-tight torei drunk -
Well, | can't help it-tain't my fault
wonder whose fault it is? Is it Jones'
fault No. Is it my wife's fault Well,
it amt. Is it the wheol-barrow's fault p
No. It's whiskey's fault. Who is whis-
key He has a large family All or,
| reckon. think won't own him any
more. I'll cut his acquaintance-I'v had
that notion for about ten years, and al
ways hate to do it for fear of hurtin' his
feelins.' I'll do it now-I think liquors
injurin' me, it's spoilin' my temper.
Sometimes get mad, when I'm drunk,
and abuse Bet and the brats--it used to be
Lizzie and the children-that's some time
ago. Id come home O. evenin's, she used
to put her arms around my neck and kiss
asd hSe hsa ne Hs hsE s6Ss 6Sa aafsj fG Gsr s %ss SS
of herr mouth, and hair out of her eyes,
and says somethin' like, bill, you drum
ken brute, shut the door arter you we're
cold enough havin' no fire, 'thout lettin'
the snow blow in that way Yes, she's
Bets and I'm Bill, now. amt good bill
nuther won't pass tavern without goin'
in and gettin' drunk. Don't know what
bank I'm on. Last Saturday night ! was
on the river bank-drunk. 'a9
l stay out pretty late no, sometimes I
stay out all night fact is, I'm pretty much
out all over-out of friends, out of pock-
ct, out of elbows and knees, and always
outrageously dirty-so Bets says but then
she's no judge, for she's never clean her.
self. / wonder why she don't wear good
clothes-maybe she amt got 'em whose
fault SHAT? faint mine-must be whis-
keys.
Sometimes I'm in, however. Pm in-toxi-
Gated now, in somebody's cellar. There's
one principle I've got-I won't get in debt;
1 never could do it. There, one of my
coat tails is gone-got tore of, | expect,
when | fell in here. I'll have to get a new
suit soon. -a'
A feller told me I'd make good sign
for paper mill, tother day. If he wan t
so big I'd lick him. I've had this shirt on
for nine days, and I'm 'fraid 'twon't come
off without tearin'. People ought to les
pect me more than they do, for I'm in holy
orders. amt dandy, tho my clothes
are pretty near Grecian style. guess l
tore this window shutter in my pants 10th
er night, when l sat down on the wax in
Ben Riggs shop; and I'll have to get it
mended, or-l'll catch cold. l amt very
stout as it is. As the boys say, I'm fat as
match, and as healthy as the small pox.
My best hat has been standin' guard for
a window pane that went out the other
mornin', at the invitation of brick bat.
It's gettin' cold down here wonder if I'm
able to climb. If had drink could
think better. Let's see amt got three
cents, if | was in tavern would sponge
one. Whenever feller treats and says,
"come fellers," allus think my name is
" fellers," and I've got too good manners
to refuse. Well, l must leave this, or
they'll arrest me for an attempt at burgla-
Ey; All amt sens tq thed edaI eEtu .AAnyhts2sM, yhtss Y,
not me.