Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1867-12-20
5,lnsatatls, Il It IL It


tz3.N by are base bali PLAYERS great cnw
ae.f-' hreaase tirr!. sts'iss a4.d "a" for
home.
H-.What ever made You merry that old
woman said mother to her son
because you always told ,le to pick n
wife Ike my mother, WAS the dutilul re-
Ply.
~ Some one tells a story Of a steamboat
passenger watching the revolving hight OF
Lighthouse ou the coast and exclaiming.
Gosh tie wind blows that light out as fast
as that man can strike it.,
ELucy Stone said There is cotton in
the ears Of maa, and hope in the bosom OF
woman. Lucy made IL mistake aud got
the cotton in the wrong place.
How To WET YOUR WHIsrLE.-Imi-
tate the example Of the locomotive. He
runs along, Whistles over his work, and
vet never takes any thing but water when
he wants to wet his whistle
"a Post Office clerks occasionally get Of
a funny thing. One of them recently
heard tap at the window of the ladies de-
partment, when who should he there but
Il man by the name of Drake. MIR.
Drake, said the clerk. will you please go
to the Other side this department is for
| the ducks.
gA gentleman who stands high in the
community Of CoEyden, KY, under the i'll
auenee of wine undertook to kiss two
Young ladies at their house, but they re-
treated to another ON he followed. He
got his leg through the door, but tt.ey fast
cned it there by pressure against the door
and procuring Il saw, atnpGtatcd the lee
below the knee, The les was a wooden
one, winch makes a comedy Of the trase-
dy.
- Speaking Of boh-ta,lca eats. Reeket
Mass won't allow Vermont any credit toi
Improvement in this kind oi stock. Alfred
Aiken Of this town has three year Old te
line which never had any tail not even tho
smallest suggestion of one. She is per
fcctlv white, has very long legs, and is a
remarkable hunter. She has been seen t.
Jump six ST eight feet straight up into the
air and fetch down a bind on the wing.
ryThe Western men were rough, sc
were the bars. They Were returned
from far nigrations, whittier women and
children had not accompanied them. Theil
Western life was Significantly reported by
one Of their number, who being at thea
tre where "a baby was crying, and the or
chestra trying to drown its little voice
rose in the pit and exclaimed: 'Stop them
id iiddles, and let the baby cry; haint
heard such music this ten years.
.gA Yankee youth and a pretty grl
sat facing each other at a husking party
The youth, smitten with tie charms Of the
maiden, only ventured IL sly look, aud now
and then touched Patty's feet under the
table. The Girl, determined to make t 4
youth express what he 80 strongly felt
bore with these advances a little while III
silence, when size cried out, Look here
if yon love me, say so, but don't dirty my
stockinssl'
A Rrcu ONE. A lighthouse keeper re-
Gently appointed on the Jersey coast, aadt
a ridiculous blunder.
Immediately after he had taken possess
ion complaints were made that The lights
went ont by twelve o'clock, The proper
officer was at once sent to look into tht
matter. and he was told that complaints
were made against him.
For what J. was the inquiry.
| why replied the officer, they say tina
your lights do not burn after twelve o'clocl
at night.
Well was tho reply, 4 know the!
don't for put 'em out myself then, for
thought all the vessels had got in by tina
l = 4 A. II