The weekly Butte record. [volume] (Oroville [Calif.]) 1866-1887, 1867-03-09

Fan viewless and softly from the skies.
The eye sees not the tainted things Of earth.
lat with the hope His Joyous promise gives;
BEt look beyond to the celestial birth,
fEe The world Is dead and only Heaven lives.
"--
THE con victs in the Massachusetts, State Peniten-
tiary are TO have winter evening lectures.
The character that needs law to mend it is hard
" worth the tinkering.
WHY are deesyed teeth like the public land =
Because you can get rid Of it for dollar acher
A TEXAS Judge has meted ont Justice to a motor
lous Southern gambler with a six shooter.
PArFsrs. Somebody has recently discovered
that everybody Is parent (apoarent)
CHEERFUL-Josh Billings SAYS. "Musketoze are
cheerful little cusses-singing as they TOLL
Nor MUcH Windows don't often see much
We so often see window blind.
SHocKTsG.-The Deseret News says the matri.
monial immortality of christendom is alarming.
IT is rumored that Sol. Culver. the Rosebnry
tOregon) murderer, escaped from Jail last week
THE cleverest thing imaginable-an accomplish
ed fact. r-
WHAT is most likely to become woman A
little girl.
INCLINED To MARRY.-Three persons in Massa-
chusetts were married for the fifth time in 1865.
THERE are 900 brokers, G 900 merchants. 500
laundresses, 900 lawyers, and 5000 school chill.
dren in New York.
----------------
A GOOD WAY-lf You are tired of being in prison,
manage TO catch the measles. and you will proba-
bly, break out.
Who KILLED HER.-The wife of tavern keeper
in London died from drinking brandy out OF pewter
pots and half pint ,umblers.
CASDIpArE-Mr f. r. Parker (colored) is an
nounced candidate for Mayor of Allegheny
City, Pa. on the Independent ticket.
THE negroes of Petersburg Virginia are taking
measures to provide for the INDECENT OF their
class, which is praiseworthy.
OFrExER-It is true that reporters sometimes
makes nonsense of speeches, but it oftener hap
pens that they make speeches of nonsense.
-
IsIr?-Is it at all consistent to assert that the
Nicholson pavement will stand longer than bo,ci-
der one zl
SKELEToxs-How many new skeletons have you
during the last year slowed away for yourself to
gaze at in future
A BuLL.-An Irshman remarked of lady who
had been very kind TO him" Bedad, she's per-
feet gintleman.n
An AvIToR.-A flying machine is in course of
construction. and is being made on the model of
goose The inventor sits as the model.
SERVED HIM RIGHT.-A woman in London re-
Gently beat her husband to death with poker, be-
cause he failed to bring home his wages.
WHAT What would fellow in the sea cry ont
10 the shark he saw pursuing him? Hold your
jaw, Mr.. Shark
"a LITTLE ELSA wife asked her husband if
druggist kept dye stuffs for sale. He replied
Most druggists keep little else than die stnfis.''
Coon EMPL oyMENT.-A rustic youth observes
that he will become a brickayer, they lay up SO
much.
AT an Agricultural dinner the following toast
given ''The came of fortune-shufle the
cards you will, spades viii always win
"A YOUNG married lady in Ohio hanged herself
recently because her husband sco1ed her for Civ
ing sixteen dollars in charity.
HALF the land of England is in the hands of less
than $50 men, Half the land of Scotland is owned
by twelve men.
OBsrAcLEs-Caleb says there are obstacles in
the way Of lightning dispatches. when they charge
for them like thunder.
An apprentice lad gets blown up" so often by
his employer that he has concluded to take ont an
accident Insurance policy.
A WIT once asked peasant what part he per
formed in the great drama of life. Il mind my
own business, was the reply.
To MAKE girl love YOU coax her to love some.
body else. If there be anything that woman rel.
ishes, il Is to be contrary.
Mr.. BEIL, who made torpedoes for the Para.
Snayans, is dead of an explosion hoisted with his
own petad.
A CoNFEpERATy soldier, who took to the woods
after overstaying his iurough has turned mp hav-
ingJus learned of the surrender of Lee and Johnson
AMONG the plants DESTROYED by the fire at the
Washington Conservatory, was sage palm which
Was planted by General Washington.
WESTERN paper suggests as an improvement
IN Bibles the preparation of leaf or two in the
family record for divorces.
-"fHsrss what call capital punishment as the
boy said when his mother shut him up in the clos
ct among the preserves.
WANTS To.-The gentleman who borrowed an
oyster knife with which TO open account at a
bankers, is ANXIOUS TO meet with patent cork
screw to draw cheQue
1HE RIGHT IINE-N hen there a "Smacking
breeze send out the pretty girls to take the wealth
er when there is spanking breeze send out
the bad children.
THE author of the Bonnie Blue Flag undertook
to give entertainments in Indianapolis. but got in
toNicated and boisterous and was taken care of by
the police.
SMART Boy-"Boy, did you let of that gun -
calculated an enrayed schoomaster. Yes sir
-.Weli. what do you think viii do with you, sirg
AS did with the gun, let me o..
Two.-Quilp, who has heretofore been liberal in
his views. now believes there are two things des
tined To he eternaly losi-hiS umbrella and the
fellow who stole It.
ngAD.-Msjor Wm. B. Lewis companion of
General Jackson, during the war Of 1872, and his
adviser during his Presidency, recently died in the
city OF Nashville aged 50.
A BOY in Waterbury, CT. set fire to his fathers
hay stack, and when asked why he did il replied
w ell, fathers sold the COW; what the duce does
he want Of the hay new =
An old gentleman remarked the other dav that
n ls.e hs went To war on account Of the s,smn
act and sol the niger. wfils in ls64 we went 10
war ABOUT the Niger, and got-tsle stamp act.
TINS AND MONEY DRUG.-Mouey and time are
the heaviest burdens Of life and the unhappiest Of
all fGcftats are those MIA have y.a4s as-fs-