The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1867-04-05

balloon !! That beats all, sartin. We
are in mazin' big hurry-gwine to
the sarcus-and haint much time ter
spar, but we'll take pull ut 'em eff it
kills us; my motter is, be perlite;
don't fuse anybody, speshully when
they axes you ter eat. They ,eats
mazin' fine. Have ye got any crab
apple cider? Amt got none, yer say?
Well, they are slickery enuff anyhow.
Well, now Napoleon, don't be onman-
nersome; take yer time, or You won't
git choked. Well, that's raal treat,
sartin. I'm much obleeged. I'll cali
and see you when L KUN agin. Call
out at the Doodle old place. I've got
lots Nv krout and crowders. Good
eyenin' at ye. Why, Lors bless mel
what do ye mean? Axed me in, md
then charge fur it, too? Did yc ever!
You say you ax two dollars fur them
Iseturs? Well, that digs nifty deep
in the Doodle treasury. I don't think
III call agin: Well, well! Iseturs and
in balloon!"
"Buy the mornings paper, ma
dam? Only five cents-only five
cents! Lots of news! Dutch is took
Holland, and" -
"Shet yer mouth, boy!" exclaimed
the old LADY," interrupting him in the
middle of his harangue; CT speck L
kin read"
''Lors q mussy, Doodle, the Pho,-
MIC says that the raddykills is gwine
ter peach the President, and the Pres
dent is gwine ter peach the raddy-
kills. Now, ef that am so, what'll
become nv Milintary Bill? Shet up,
Napoleon. Did you say there'd be
Dustin big peachin times, sure. Don't
counterrupt yer nanny when she's
readin; and, above all, don't try to
pear smarter than her; remember thy
parental disjunction-children must
be seen, not heard. Wuss and wuss!
amt this too bad? Why, the paper
sez the superintendent NV the Water
Works is goin to shet the water off
to-day. Why, what pom yairth will
the folks do without water? What
did you say, young man-that he
wernt agvine to shet off the wells?
Well, that's all rite. But, ole man.
this amt gettin the chile O frock. The
suns most down-let's go to the
sarcus."
ooh, Lor, mammyl' exclaimed
Napoleon, ''I'm afeard. Did ye hear
that boar conscripter blate jist now?
1t blated zackly like q jackass."
ooh! don't be afeared, my son."
said the old lady; "these boar con
scripters is jest like all other con-
scripts -aint so sumagcrous, arter all.
Quit yer cryin. Here, take this gingy
cake
Good cvenin at ye," said the old
lady to the man who presided over
the destinies of the ticket Office.
"What do ye ax fur gwine ter the
sarcus?"
''Seventy-five cents apiece in cur
rcncy; other funds at market price"
These remarks were unintelligible
to the old lady. "Wall, now stranger,
1 mout as well say that nobody haint
much greenbacks, ceptin tbs our Le-
gislatur men, fur they TUX nigh all
the last time they sot."
'This will do, madam" said the
man, changing State bill.
Good evenin at ye," said the old
lady, and in they walked.
He of the circus, who did the
ushering with politeness that would
have done honor to Chesterfield,
struck the old lady's fancy, and she
thought his attention to her, in see
ing her seated, arose from some par-
ticular liking to her.
"Why, how dye do?" she said, to
the gentlemanly usher. GIVE seen
you afore somewhere, but L can't ad-
zactly disremember. Your names
Jones, amt it?"
His name was Smith.
Smith, did ye say? Why, that
name sounds purmiliar. Thar's a
family NV Smiths that don't live q
big gump from the Doodle old place:
and If this aint John Smith what 1
thort was kilt in the war! Why,
how dye, John? You made n pow
erful purity baby, but L declare you've
changed mitily."
And here the usher, no longer able
to stand the shower of interrogatories
poured upon him from the prolific
tongue of Mrs. Doodle, vanished.
81 never seed such nm onmanner-
some man afore. Why, Doodle, that
can't raaly be John Smith. Amt
this amazin fine seat! Bless us, mer-
cy! what n power of folks! Why, it
minds me of the raggykultural fair
they had in Kullumby once. Jist look
how them gals is gigglin and talkin.