Delaware State journal and statesman., 1867-08-09
WIT AND HuMoR.

John tolH . story OF Thompson and Rogers,
Two married bucks Of New York, who wandered
home late one night, stopped at what Thompson
supposed was his residence, but which his COM
Panion insisted was his own house. Thompson
rang the bell Justify, when a window was OPEN
si and lady inquired what was wanted. Mad
am,' inquired Mr.. T., isn't this MIR. T-Thomp.
sons house = 'NO, replied the lady, this is
residence Of Mr.. Rogers 'woll,' exclaimed
Thompson, Mrs. -T.-ThOmpson-beg your
pardOn-MrS. Rogers, won't you just step dewn
to The door and pick ont Rogers, for Thompson
wants to 60 homer
Old Deacon Converse, Of Hartford, was pro.
'dsd with an enormously long handle to his
OOunlenanos. One day when he passed around
The contribution box, everybody seemed to be
possessed Of an uncomfortable desire to laugh
when they sAw him. It seems that in the morn
lpgi having bruised his nose, he put on q piece
'i'lickng plaster. 1t tdrOpped of, aud he pick
Fdup what be supposed was the plaster, and
stuck Ii on again. But alas he had made q
mistake, for instead Of the plaster, II was piece
Oi paper such as manufacturers Of spool cotton
paste on one lend Of every spool, and which
read, warranted TO hold out 200 yards
hr D, who ls man Of considerable
wealth, had an acre Of buekwheat which, while
10 blossom, Was often visited by the bees Of o
n'shbor. Thinking that he was imposed on by
this state Of affairb, be called and presented 9
claim for damages to his neighbor, who could
not get rid Of the troublesome Mr.. D with
out hrst agreeing TO pay him two cents pei
month pasturage for each hive Of bees
Little Lizzie O. ia excessively fond o
sweet lhings, and when very little girl wa
apt to begin on the dainties when she came tt
Tho table. She was reproved for this, and wheI
'Ae perSihted, it was treated as grave offence
Oas night she added to her uAuAl prayer al
humble little petition regarding this Sinfu
weakness. She said: 'oh, help me to be gOoC
G'rl, to mind ny dear papa and mamma, and Il
take preserves lastl'
pr Gross, the justly celebrated surgeon o
rA'ladslpha, was once dangerously i'll. Short
y after his recovery he met one Of his lad.
pausnts---they are not always patient ladies'
Who remarked to him: 'oh, Doctor, rejoice /
ss that you are out agsini had we lost you ou
sead people would have died by the dozen
Thank you, madam replied the affable doctor
out now fear tbSy will die BY the Gross 7
The only Liberty Cap, says a clever and witt
au'd'r, lis night cap In it men visit one
"td oftheir lives, the land Of sleep-the onl
aud where they are always free and equal.
ons Of the boys In New Orleans school wa
esAsdi after various definitions had been give
y others, mostly quite correct, what Was meal
ssy Tho verb to tAntalizs. He replied: 1T wl
ask gTOat many questions, and then CRITICS
lbs AnSWsrs' --5
Az old gentleman was sitting upon the brn
VIA river, fishing most patiently. Suddenly
VICIOUS little dog stole up behind him, and ga'
a,n spitsiul snap through his pantaloon
'whsW i exclaimed the old fisherman, I've e
sSits at lasi.' 4t.... :
why don't you sheel that barrow Of coal
Ssar said learned miner to one Of his sou
~ not a very hard jobs there is an inClin'
NJ 'NHetV YVus hni IePheu Neul WI
4'u more reliah for wilt than work, 'the plai
~'y % Inclined, but hang me II am
As the steamboat Oregon was passing fe
s since, a newly arrived Irishman belongiI
, 'as celebrated o'Regan family, was heard
.,Ain' 'o-r-e'g-o-n-o'Regan oh, be jabsr
10y 'our weeks in this country yet, aud a STAN
& wat oAristensd afer me T.
oA "a Distressed Mother writes to tho AllsntOy
Y ptmOctAt for advice. which she gels-thu
V; The only way to cure your aon Of stayil
~. ia's o nights is to break his legs or ell
work.
no,,H liz proprietor Of cotton factory put th
nsa s ~ % the gate; mo cigars or good-lookil
Sa@tIed" In explanation for the Teaso
NV The one will set Hams agong amor
V'''0n and the other among my girls.'