Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1867-08-20
srEREoPTICON EXHIBITION
ssMark Twnin,s,, Address to the SUN
3 ,fdfs S-1 day School. sst

They had Sunday School Stereopticon
Exhibition up town last week, and after
the pictures were all shown, the Superin-
terident asked me to address the children.
spoke as follows:
LaI shan't say very much to the little
boys and girls here to-day, because have
not much to say. Although used to be
little boy and girl myself great many
wears ago, don't think of anything that
would, interest them just now. You re-
member that beautiful picture you have
lust seen of Elijah and the bad boys
Elijah had bald head, and those wicked
boys made good deal of fun of him, and
called him hard names, and before they
could think almost, two bears came out of
the woods and eat them right up. Now
this should be warning to you never to
holleri at q, bald-headed man when you
see, him, but to just 60 quietly to him, like
alittle gentleman, and tell him he ought to
have wig. Or, If your father is a bar
Der, ask him to please buy some hair re-
storative Never holler at him, and make
fun of him, for wherever there is bald
head there's most always more or less bare
about somewhere.
tsOf course you all read your library
books that you get from Sunday School,
and you like them very much. Now you've
noticed how the good boys in them always
die before they grow up and have chance
ateDjoying life. It's my belief that good
boys always die young, for can't go back
on the Sunday School books. Therefore
don't advise you to be good, for you'll GER
tainly die, and as don't care to have you
die, I'd recommend you to go in and get
Just as wicked as you possibly can. Most
any insurance company will insure your
life if you're desperately wicked. For they
can afford to do it, you see. And you must
always be careful, my dear children, to
love- your relations. You boys ought to
ocic
knew bad boy who struck his sister
blow over the eye, and although she didn't
slowly fade away and die in the early sum-
mer time, when the June roses were blow
ing, with words of sweet forgiveness on
her palid lips, she rose up and hit him over
the head with rolling pin, SO that he
couldn't go to Sunday School for more than
a month on account OF not being able to
put his best hat on. So love your sisters, /
saw. Inever had little sister of nv own,
but / reeollect that / went out once and
loved another mans sister, but she had a
wicked father, and he hurt me very much,
helping me off his front door steps. But
YOU ought to love them, and always obey
your father and mother. If your father
tells YOU to do a thing, and your mother
tells you not to, it don't make any differ
ence, you've got to obey them both. I'll
leave it to the Superintendent, if the Bible
don't say so.
.And you must go to school regularly,
too, and never play truant or anything of
that kind. I used to know a boy who
PLAYED truant one day, and never went to
school at all, and what was the conse-
oueDce? Why, the very next morning his
Aunt Sarah was bit and torn by mad
dog, who chawed her leg all up, until she
couldn't stand, and she died. Thus, you
see. how wicked and sinful it is to stay
away from school. You ought to love your
teachers very much. too, and reverence
them. When 1went 70 school the boys USED
to love the teacher SO much that they
couldn't bear for him to go out a minute,
and they put shoemaker's wax on his chair
SO as to hold him down. And the teacher
said he would never desert us, never, never,
but he would always stick to US. And then
he used to get down club about four feet
long. with ferule on it, and do more stick
ing than we thought was necessary. He
WIS a good teat b n, though, and once when
asked him if he would whip me for a
thing didn't do, he said No. and then
told him hadn't done any sums. But he
said he believed he'd change his mind, and
then efogged me like the nation. Still we
loved that teacher; when he died the boys
were so glad to see that he had handsome
coffin, and they fairly shouted for joy.
"And, my GEAR children, let me caution
YOU against the sin of letting your angry
passions rise. Fighting is bad business,
Dr. Watts, you know, says:
Let dogs delight to bark and bite,
For it's their nature too
But Satan still will have some work
For idle hands to do"
9Fighting is very wicked indeed. A
few wears ago 1 knew a boy who was
sonariug off and daring people to fight
him and saying he could lick them, more
or less, all the time. And what became of
this wretched boyP Why one day he
dared a fellow to knock chip of his
shonlder. and the fellow knocked it and
did much more knocking besides, so that
tine 7boy was taken deathly sick, and
couldn't bulge out of his bed for six weeks.
So that the boy actually wished that he
had never seen that particular chip, or any
chip, in the whole course of his life. But
he went around and bought brass-bar-
relied pistol, and got some boys to make
secret society, and drawed up constitution.
And they all swore to have revenge, But
nothing much ever came of it, for the fell
low who knocked of the chip was big
how. and, of course, SO fast as the society
bozs7 grew big, he grew bigger, SO they
thought perhaps they had better let him
alone. $1,000
when he was sent for milk he would al
WAYS manage to drink about half of it, and
he always was very much in favor OF his