The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1867-04-05


The following is probably the worst
conundrum ever perpetrated: Why
cause it is infrm.
A schoolmaster in Ohio advertises
that he will keep Sunday school twice
a week-on Tuesday and Saturday.
A lazy fellow lying down on the
was called work, and was well paid
for"
A gentleman in Iowa advertises for
wife who wears her own hair, her
own teeth, her own cheeks, her own
buzzum, and her own calves, with
out having went and gone and paid
for them" 81 1aa sw w.
The difference between pound of
meat and drummer boy-one weighs
a pound, and the other pounds away.
The difference between a church
organist and the infuenza-one knows
the stops, and the other stops the
nose. E la FL osla
4 Pray, excuse bit. of sarcasm"
said Smith to Jones, but you are an
infamous liar and scoundrel." Par
don touch of irony, - replied Jones,
as he Knocked him down with a po-
ker.
:: Vegetable pills Y exclaimed an
old lady, don't talk to me of such
stuff The best vegetable pill ever
made is an apple dumpling. For des-
troying a gnawing of the stomach
there's nothing like it," au ve
In Richmond Church, Surrey, Eng
land, is an epitaph on certain
Robert Lewis, who died in 1649,
land who was says the epitaph,
"such lover of peace that When
contention began to arise between
life and death, he yielded up the
ghost to end the dispute. =
"An observing individual in very
healthy village, observing the sexton
quired what he was about. Digging
a grave. sir" Digging a grave?
Why,aI thought the people didn't
die often here-do they?" !" oh no,
sir, they never die but once. - oa ~
A convivially disposed gentleman,
retiring late, walked independently,
and somewhat noisely, up stairs and
along the corridor to his room. Why,
what a noise you Make said his
wife, who heard, with some anxiety,
the heavy tread of his boots. " How
heavily you walk" Well, my
dear" was the gruff response, if
you can get a barrel of whisky up
stairs with any less noise, should
like to see you do It,
The Corydon Democrat propounds
the following categorical question for
solution, at the. next Mite Society,""
to be held in that town. In each
corner of four-cornered room is
sitting cat, before each cat are sit
ting three cats, and on each cats tail
is sitting a cat. How many cats are
in the room? % 3Af ,9zl s1
DIDNT Know WHAT TO TALK
ABoUT-A bashful and rather green
young man from near the city, attend
ed ball in misplace not long since,
in company with the g idol of his
heart After the dance. had pro-
crossed for some time, our young
friend from the rural district saw the
one most dear to him sitting alone in
the corner of the room, and concluded
he would step over and have a .socIa-
BILE chat with his lady love. I, All well
SO far, but the bashful fellow was at, a
loss for something to say-he fdgeted
about. and was sweating profusely,
having Just left the dance, and besides
the room was quite warm Finally,
T taking hold of his wilted collar, he
commenced his conversation thus:
Its powerful warm-my shirts wet;
amt yours ?"--The lady wilted.
Mrs. PARTINGToN AND SUFFRAGE.
The conversation had turned upon
this popular and absorbic topic, ex
citing the feelings of the circle with
the pro and CON view Of it. when, IN
the midst of fierce remark, as a
reioiner hard as brick was trembling
into form on the other side, Mrs.
Partington raised her finger. There
was immediate silence. laF
As for universal suffering, said
she, with a smile as tender as the last
beam of expiring day upon a faded
landscape-e Assfor UNIVERSAL suffer
ing, 1 don't see why they should suffer
more than any other sex" ... '''- ''a'
"Who" said DIR. Spooner looking
| over his spectacles.
1.-The Universalists, said she.
And certainly there is not half so
much danger if their doctrine is
true, as I'm sure / hope it is, for the
sake of many who have nothing but
the goodness Of God Ito depend
upon
But" said Or, Spooner, with an
emphasis upon the word as though he
were about to enact it, and. butt his