The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1867-08-14

/ with Hop agin Mr. Archbutt, and We al come
down them stairs that rush higgley-piggley, as
! the Aayn' is, as brought the people out from
the floor below, and there we was all on the
landin' a-stTugglin' as nat'raly thought we was
mad or in liquor, and it's mercy as we wasn't
! hurt dangerous, and no boges broke but only a
lump ON the pack of old Archbutts 'ead as big
as pigeons egg; and tae Key IN the door all
! the time, thro' Brown bein' come In and gone to
| bed, and in q nice temper at me aawakin Inn
up, and says quite sewage 80,
| "lf you likes a-goin' about TIL TINS hour, you
| might come in ike OnTlsIsnuu, anu uoJ ike u
ragin' wild beast"
! hours, it's oBly jest on eleven, as you'd call
/, early In London, and I'm sure it's a mercy as
| I'm here At all, for of all the falls as ever I've
| lad this IS the wust" -
"Oh,0 he says, ''you're always atumbln'
| about, but las got as many lives as a cat"
felt that 'urt at Brown a-comparin' me to a
| cat but didn't say nothinb.
$50, he says, "why, do believe as you've
| been a.smokin',p
ad only been for to ear the music at the Caftee
Shantun, and never see more lovely dressed
parties, not as they was ladies, for they sung
VERY bold and loud, and when they come
round a-askin parties for trlhe, they was
downright ugly and that thick in powder all
over their backs and aims, as they must ave
put it on with the dredger, should say.
So says to Mrs. Archbutt, when one lad done
ollerln,, as / didn't think much on Ter.
"Why, "says party as spoke English remark
able well, shes one OF them famous singers as
sings aiore the Emperor fsself and as refused
thousands as 'ad been offered Ter for to go to the
fiWell,"I SAYS "she must be fool for to sing
out ere in the open hair for 'apence, when she
could get thousands at the 0perer." Not as /
thought much of Ter slngin', as bawled that
loud, and no chicken neither as any one could
see thro' all Ter paint and powder, as is a bad
thing, and only makes parties look old and
wrinkly the sooner, as some will do it, for I've
card my dear mother say as she remembered
well party as were enamelled, as must AVE
led q wretched life, for she dursn't smile, nor
shed tear, and if she dared to sneeze, would
have shook it all off.
! do think as l never were so tired as arter
that EXhibishun, for as to the wittles there, it
amt what / fancies, but is kegmegy stuff, as
you AVE to pay thro the nose for, as knows to
my cost, thro' 'avin' to pay lot of money for
dinner as calls muck, and SO it were.
I'm sure the stuff as they called soup wasn't
nothink but 'ot water with a lot of that Wermy-
selly in it, and a rubbishin' bit of patty as
they calls wollywOng, and then a bit of beef
as were that coarse and stringy as l couldn't
a-bear the sight on, with bit of cheese, and
some VERY Washy pertaters. The best part of
my dinner were bread and butter, and as to the
wine, il was stomach-ache all over, so l took
some bottled ale.
l amt much of a 'and at their coffee, and as
to their brandy, it's downright beastly.
So l says, 81 tell you what it is; this ere
dinner cost us pretty near five shillin's ahead,
SO don't do it no more, Tor we get VERY good
plain wittles where we're stoppin', as is a good
solid breakfast, and good meat tea. So,"
says, "we'll take snack at some of them Eng
lish places where we knows " hat to ask for;
but" says, none of your foreign delicacies,"
as they persuaded me was delicious in Russher,
as went into and lad some stuff give me that
were downright train oil, that rank and green;
and to see them nasty beasts adrinkin' tea out
of tumblers, with q slice of lemon, like negus,
| in 1t, and the walters that dressed out in their
silk coats, and young feldmale as looked
very outlandish.
l 90 say as the Dutch gals caps was prettiest,
| and not so bold as them Greeks, as didn't like
the looks on myself; but Unjust say as whatever
| them French means by a-grinning' and larfn'
| at them Chinese parties, | can't make out, for
whatever is the French but foreigners their
| selves, so needn't talk, Pm sure, tor OF all the
| fggers as some on 'em is never did, and as to
| wittles, why they'll eat anythink and seem to
| enjoy it, as the VERY look on 1t gives me quite
| turn.
Miss Tredwell, she's one of them as must
make 'erself out to know everything, and she
says it's no use admin at the Esposishin, as she
will call it; we did ought to go to dine at the
| Pally Royal, as is where the quality all goes,
and Kings and Queens did use to live in.
"Ah," says J. tor my part, give me 'umbe
ways as is far too grand for me-" as / know'd
something about, thro' 'avin' seen the tables laid
out when Queen Victoria was a-goin' to dine
with the Lord Mayor, when she was fust queen,
and am quite sure as l shouldn't ave eat nothin'
for starin about me.
"Oh," says Miss Tredwell, "Kings and
Queens don't live no longer at the Pally Royal"
couldn't eat no dinner if they did without their
leads on" as l said to ave a cut at er as is
always ashowine' off Ter learnin'.
see as 1t made Ter wild, that Illusion, for she
can't a-bear for no one to know nothin' but 'er-
self, as / amt a-going' to put up with no such
nonsense; not as ever she comes that rubbish
afore Brown, as soon set Ter down, when she
begun a.showin' off about Bony party's battles,
as she didn't even know where they was fought.
Well, she KEEP on atalkin' so about the Pally
Royal, as at last we said as we'd go, and 1t is
lovely place, certngly, as did used once to be
the gamblin' 'ouses all round, and Brown said
as he'd read all about it, and low parties would
lose all their money, and then 90 out IN the
gardings for to blow their brains out, as 'adn't
many for to blow, / should say, ii they'd be
that foolish for to go and lose all their money,
and their lives into the bargain.
| 80 Brown says, Nov, tell you what 1T ls
amt a-goin' in for none of your rubbishn
dinners at low price, as is thrown the money
away; but let's pay decent price for good
| dlnner.n
"Oh," says Miss Tredwell, 'there's the dinner
of Europe, as comes TO four francs altogether, as
seems good sum- so we went to AVE it; but,
law bless you, 1t sounded good deal, but Wasn,t
nothlnk, really. As to the SOUP 1t was al
tap1oca, as is thing l don't 'old with myself;
and then come bit of fish, about two mouth
fuls; and then they give us a bit OF veal, as
wasn't bad; but not no vegetables, nor melteG
butter with 1t; and then there come some irleo
artichokes, as very nigh proved the end OF Mrs.
Archbutt, tor they was all them prickly leaves
| fried that hartiul in batter as you couldn't tel
what tLey was, and she's 'arty eater, and eats
deal too fast, and if she didn't take and Dolt
bit of that artichoke, as stuck in Ter throat, ana
l thought as she musta AVE bust everythl9SS
acoughin'; Ter husband, deaf as he is, coulu
'ear Ter, and took and give Ter punch that Wlo-
| lent ir the back as nut Ter temDer out, as must