The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1867-06-06
Odds and Ends.
Smile, and grow Corpulent

pHNliSs ttAu grow SOfpuleub
A '7iolinst was recently arrested for getting
into scTGpe.
The man who couldn't stand it any longer
has taken a seat.
1t makes great difference whether glasses
are used over or under the nose.
''When you have nothing to say, say it."
Many singers are brave enough to plunge
recklessly into the deep, deep g."
Has any person ever tried Rarey's system OF
horse-tamiug on the nightmare?
Queer thing is an insurance policy,-if l
can't sell it [ can Gel it; and if can eel it,
can't sell it.
AS the quickest way of making fortune, a
contemporary suggests marrying a fashionable
young lady, and selling her clothes.
An eastern editor asks his subscribers to pay
up, that he may play the same joke on his
creditors. We like to see joke go round.
Walking in a shady grove
With my Julianna,
For lozenges gave my love
lpe-cac-u-an-ha.
Near Paris, KY, a man, while engaged in
running circular saw, had his arms taken off
They consisted of cavalry sabre and double
barreled shot gun.
a COubCTIpI, DGIllg LOlu JDaG II was sweet to
die for ones country, tried to excuse himself
on the ground that he never liked sweet
things.
We were amused with the remark of an old
lady who was admiring the beautiful picture
called Saved" cts no wonder" said she,
''that the poor child tainted, after pulling that
great dog out of the water.'
A belligerent wight threatened to kick dry
character who offended him. eff you under
take it, ;" answered the challenged, "you will
find yourself more Skinned against than shin
ning.n
When Chang and Eng were first exhibited
in New York, a curious inquirer went up to
the exhibitor and asked: ''These the Simese?'
eyes, sir" Brothers, / presume ?" On the
whole he thought they were.
The following, supposed to have been writ
ten by an old topper to his bottle, hits the
point
TITS very strange that you and
Together cannot pull;
For You are full when l am dry,
And dry when am FULL
An old miser who was notorious for self-de-
NAL, was one day asked why he was so thin.
II do not know said the miser have tried
various means for getting fatter, but without
success" "Have you ever tried victuals ~
inquired the friend
A modest young lady, who was passenger
on board packet ship, it is said sprang out
of her berth and jumped overheard, on hear
ing the captain during a storm, order the
mate to haul down the sheets.
The following powerful appeal was made in
court OF justice bya learned head of the bar
Gentlemen of the jury, do you think that my
client, who lives in a pleasant valley where
land is rich and the soil is fertile, would be
guilty OF stealing little skeins of cotton? |
,hink mott reckon mott calculate not And
guess, gentlemen of the jury, that you had
letter bring my client in not guilty for if you
onvict him, he and his brother John will lick
he whole ofyou'
John Jones has an object in the lick her law
then applied to Jane. Jane Jones contends
toutiy 1or lhe liquor law, as applicable to
Ohm. James argument is simple and concIu-
I've. When John does liquor, he does lick
er. When John don't liquor, he don't lick
er, therefore If he can't liquor he won't lick
er-the conclusion she wishes to come to-
THE COW.
o! the COW, the beautiful COW,
Nibbing the hay from the fragrant NOV,
Into the rhistles and clover so fresh,
Poking your nose with a sweet relish,
Munching-
Munching-
All in amash:
Beautiful COW, you will one day be hash
Oh the COW. the playful cow
Meeting the pail with playful bow,
Giving it generously all of your milk,
Winking and blinking your lashes of silk,
As il
Streams and
Splashes,
With frolicksome dash,
failure to give it soon settles your hash.
A school ma am in a district school was e1
aiming a class in photography:
Spell and define foweret," she said to
lpil.
"F-Lo-w-e-r-e-t, foweret, a little flower,
mt off little tow.head. in a perfect streai
wavelet"
''Wa-v-e-l-e-t, wavelet, little wave," W,
prompt return.
''Bullet."
'sB-u-I-I-e-t, bullet, a little 5,tu, - shouted u
in number three, who was innocence ne
nified. School ma'am cayed.