Ashtabula weekly telegraph. [volume] (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1853-1873, 1867-09-07

a Dream, in ''sChich General Grant and
| other indiUidIoLs are nliCed, Nth no re-
| gord aOhdterer for Time, Place or Fitness.
| PosT OFFIs CoNFEDRrT Y ROADS,
| Stait nv Kentucky
| August 1867
| Last mite there Wuz eonyocashen NV
the saints concected with the Institoot
| (uv which Deekin Pogram is the cheef-
est and lovliest among ten thousdnd) to
take sweet counsel together onto seYral
matters CONNECTED with the institooshen
Nv learnin, the success Nv which Is so
dear. to all Nv us. The conversashen
happenin to turn upon the conferrin Nv
honorary degrees, Deekin Pogram sed
that he had a suggestion to make. he
he'd notist that all the leadin colleges NV
the country had practis Nv conferrin
titles. such ez "M. D.' "a. B." 81 L
d." and sich onto distinguished men,
though he wuz free to cay that he didn't
know wat In thunder they meant, or wat
they Wuz good for But he he'd notlst
in noospaper that no college he'd yet
conferred sny sich onto Androo Johnson.
considerin it burnin shame, he would
sejest ez a rebook to the hide bound in
stitooshens NV the North, this college
do to-wunst confer all nv EN-, and ez
many more ez ther is, onto Mr.. johnson.
Bascom remarkt that he did not know
whether the President wood feel compli-
mentid "Yoo know, Deekin," sed he
that this amt much of college"
"Troo," sed the blessed old peace NV
innocence, ''troo, troo, but then, to bal
ance that, johnson amt much NV Pres
ident, 700 know" r.
And so the honary degrees was confer
red and notice thereof wuz sent him i'm
mejitly. .-t s,s
From this the question Nv the next
nominee uy the party for President cum
up. Bascum, who amt far-seein man,
asserted that it wood be Necessary to
nominate Grant. The Deekin thot it
wood be safe, but McPelton thought diff
ferent He didn't bleeve in the first
place that it become peace party, or at
least party wicb eff it dipped its hands
in gore at all it did mostly in Northen
gore, to take up Northern General
Wich he'd done his best toward sendin
many thousands of Southerners to their
long homes, and besides the General
woodn't want it. - -@- -.fs'-.a i..''
5Bascom wanted to know wat the con-
ference at Long Branch meant? Elf
Gen. Grant wuz in the control of Weed,
Raymond and the N. Y Herald, which
was ekal to the World, the flesh and the
devil, he felt that he he'd trooly found the
broad nacadamized road to Democracy.
He began to have hopes NV him. Vari-
Gus opinions wuz expressed by various
persons, when, without comm to any
conclusion, we separated. retired
that mite rathef earlier than usual, and
my mind dwellin On my chances NV con-
tinuin in offs in case NV Grants acces-
sion, / fell into troubled sleep, and
dreamed a dream II ''t- -si..
Methawt gathered in front of the
White House WIZ a gallant array OF
our trends. There wuz Franklin Peerce,
and Bookannan, and Vallandigham, and
the Woods, and Magofin, and Monroe,
and Brite, and Brechinridge, and the
leaders NV the De.4ocracy, all a standing
there, looking vishiully at the White
House, tand wonderin' how and by what
means they Good git in. Johnson, bles-
sins onto his head, stood onto the porti-
co wavin to EN- to cum; but alas guard
in the passage stood mighty host Of
Ablishnists, armed and clad in armor,
and in such force ez to make the stormin
Nv it hopelis.
"How shell we git in?" sighed Bel
mont.
"Ah indeed, how ?" answered Henry
Clay Dean. e7 't--H III
'|That's the great moral question
how % echoed Ben Wood .-i ...I'
s'My friend !" sed Thurlow Weed, it's
easy enuff. When you can't sore like
the eagle, crawl like the snake. Sorin
is pretrable, but crawlin will do at
pinch. Is ther not the Lion of the Re.
public ? The Ablishinists have regard
for that same Lion, and will never dis
charge her arrers at yoo when yoor on
his back for fear NV KILN him. Besides,
yoor ridin him will in some degree do
away with the prejoodis they have agin
yoo." - ioa;~ta'H 2, ..ii-.
''But how kin we mount him?'' said
they. t -
'iTrust us for that" sed Wood and
him and Raymond tro:ted off to get
They got the Lion out, but ez soon ez
he cast his eyes onto the crowd he utter
ed roar which struck terror into their
soles and lashed the ground with his
tail, and cast up dust with his claws
in such manner fearful to behold.
"He'll never stand itP' said Wood,
''onless he's blind-folded," and Thurlow
wrapped Raymond like wet dish-rag
over his eyes, and that done, hun and
Raymond paired his nails and biunted !
his teeth, SO that if the bandage should
wriggle off and he shood see where he
wuz he eoodent hurt anybody, and shaw
ed his name, till he looked like very in
nocent Lion indeed, so that his appear
ance woodent startle them not used to
his fercenis, and in that condishen they
led him very quietly down to the crowd
and give the word to mount.
Lord what scramble there wuz.
They piled On from the tip NV his ears to
the end NV his tail, and them wich Good
ent git ON forlack NV room hung to the
feet Nv them wieh he'd got on, until 1t
wuz nothin less than pyramid OF demo
Gratis. . te'-'"t ~ 10
Finally, when all wuz loaded, the word
wuz given, and the Lion moved off
They wuz delited He he'd strength enuff
to carry EN-, and he wuz carrying nv
EN- straight on to the White House, and
= = r.ood ,,ooa too Ez tbe, annroaoLI