The Fremont weekly journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County, Ohio) 1867-1877, 1867-12-27
"A Little Nonsense

1t is hard TO live-without a wife-no
gentle heart to get up cold mornings to
build the fire. aaiis9 81 sol
A man who bumps his head against
that of his neighbor isn't apt to think
that two heads are better than one.
Squib says he sat downto Thanks
giving table where there were thirteen
turkey gobblers. Only one Of them
was cooked. iT 5 +,s oh JE o.
One charge in lawyers bill against
a client, was, for waking up in the
night and thinking of your businessTT--
five dollars" !" .Ita
To economic is TO draw in as much
as possible. The ladies apply this art
to their person, and the result is very
small waist. -
An exchange says-There is some-
thing sweet about little girls. The
Louisville journal adds, 8 And it grows
on 'em as they grow bigger iro ta .g'
1t is natural that physicians general
ly should have greater horror for the
sea than any body else because they
are more likely to see sickness.
An irats Ohio Republican u in, in, response
to an inquiry how he felt since election,
replied thai he felt like Lazarus did
when be was licked by dogs. ...,,., f,
"Why, George, what are youhoeing
in the garden for at this time OF night?"
" Well, l was awful dry, mother, and
don't the Bible say, 'Hol every one that
Mrs. Partington says She did not
marry her second husband because she
loved the male sex; but because he was
the size of her first protector, and
could wear out his old clothes.
One evening at a social gathering
young lady played a piece of music
consisting Of twenty-four pages. A
gentleman, in referring to it next day,
said they were favored with music by
the Q,ire. ....,.'.,...,,.. ..,......... ~
A cynical old bachelor who firmly
believes that all women have something
10 say on all subjects, recently asked a
female friend :-"M ell madam, what
do you hold on this question of female
suffragei" To him the lady responded,
calmly; 6 ''Sir, l hold my tongue"
On the headboard of grave in the
Sparta diggings, California, is inscrib-
ed :-"In memory of John Smith, who
met violent death on this spot in Is
numbered and 40 too. He was shot by
his own pistil. 1t was not one ofthe new
kind, but an old fashioned barrel, and
of such is the kingdom Of heaven"
Bus driver Ito conductor of opposi-.
ton bus )-aPve knowed yer ever since
you was born. l knowed yer poor
mother; she had two on yer that time.
One was VERY nice little boy, t'ether
was half a hidiot--a sort of brown
paper feller. The VERY nice little boy
died very young, he did,"
As an original expression of heavy |
grief we doubt ifanything more touch
ing has been read than the following,
of crushed heart, in Star City, Nevada.
Mrs. -, of that place, an eccentric |
old lady, recently rushed into the room
Of relative, and without waiting for
the usual salutation, said ''Well, Johns
dead !" (Her husband.) "Deadl it
is impossible" "Yes, dead. Died last
night. Want you all to come to the
funeral. The Masons and Odd Fellows
are going to turn out and we shall have
a beautiful time" Deaths being of |
rare occurrence in the settlement of
course everybody went to the funeral.
Next day somebody remarked to the
old lady that there was large turnout.
''Y es indeed there was" she replied,
''but / didn't enjoy myself as well as l
have at some funerals, the hossses cut
up So" sia
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