Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1867-08-15

when you begin, if thar amt no kali to start her:
Sides, how do you keep up yer stock er kattle, ef
yer kill all the kalfs, said Rhody. However,
proof of the puddin ar terchaw the bag. GENES,
spose you and Robert see what the thing can do
this evenin thout lettin anybody else know nuthin
about hit The nabors made blo,oas horns Of ther
mouths bout them other things all over the coun-
try-shan know nuthin about this fxin, though. +"
Well, that evenin, when heard the kows lowin
up at the cup-pen, Rhody, Robert, I and ther
merchine, sorter sneaked out er the house, up ter
the cup-pen. "Gemes, you must try the thing
furst. I amt got nuthin ter do with hit-,snder-
stand that Thar's old Brindle, she are gentle
kow if it kant milk her it can't suck nuthin-saao
Brinde, back yer laig," and she sasoed, and /
squatted down sorter under her side put the pig
gin on the ground, and ther tits in the sockets and
bergun pumpin. heerd quer sorter strangln
nois the 1st pump. Kome to find out, Brindles 8
hind tits were heap smaller than the front ones,
and wouldn't fit. Sockets war all the same size.
Sides. the thing were 80 orful heavy, couldn't
pump and hold it too. Rhody went on tother side
ter hold up while I pumped, but the drafted thing
strangled wors en- ever-insomuch it skeered Brin-
die, and she begun kckin, and put her foot right
in the piggin, and split bout teaspoons er milk,
what had kome out. ''Let's try Brindle's heifer,
said Rhody, "hers are all the same size." 1 then
went to the heifer put ther mersheen on and ber-
gun pumpin-this time everything fit. After lit
tie seed or draps er milk kome er drappin
down, but just then my arm give out holdin up the
mersheen, and Robert started round ter tother side
ter hold it up, but Rhody said, 'No you don't,
Robert that kow never wouldlet anybody kome on
that side thout kickin." 'Wen, =" said l, lit ar a
failure, and we II have to give it up" Rhody had
been redin Shakspire or somebody else that even
ing, so she Strengthened up, put one arm kimbo,
luther on her bosom, sorter stage actin like) and
then says she ter me, talkin away down in her
throat, says she II 2 have given suck andoughter
kno how tender tbs ter love the babe that miks me
-(tHan't none of yer Yank injun rubber pump
suckers nuther, GENES Munro, but had brains,
laigs, and arms )-though it war smiin in my face,
land war good child, GENES, I'd girke its bone
less gums from my bosom, and dash ther brains
out agin the lst stump, had so saoorm as youbout
Yank Merchines have done-'euen though they laid
aiqs.'" That war the 'onkindest cut of my life.
Says L, "Rhody, I'll be dad-ratted all ouer if 1
don't foner yer hint" and so sayin, snatched the
boneless, gum'ed pump sucker from the heifer s
bosom, and war in the act er smashin it ter fin
ders, when Robert said, "hold on daddy, let me
try my hand at ther ixin." I knowed that Bob
war an inventive genus, and give hit ter him
feelin mighty kurious though. Robert run down
to the house, tuck the circingle off his mammy's
side-saddle, and brung hit up-fxed the circingle
on the machine to hold hit, puts the tits in, and
buckled the fxin tight over the heifer's back
Roberts perfected the feller's merchine, said
Rhody, "and if he war Yanky, he would have a
patont right fur it too" Robert was sorter lifted
up by these enkouragin remarks of his nanny,
and jumped bout quite spryly-bergun pumpin
ruther hard, and hurt the heifer. She stopped
chawin, swallowed her cud, turned her head round,
and bergun smellin the merchine. I seed she wal
gittin oneasy, and says I-short and quick, like
war mad-says I, "saw you wensh, but she didn't
saao that time. No, sir. So fur from it, she be,
gun kickin right and left-with 1st one toot-2d
the tother one lst thing I knowed, Robert, pig
gin, and what little milk thar war, kommingled In
pile, bout 10 feet berhind the kow, an inkongru-
GUS mixtur and in incredible short time-Rob
ert holerin o Lordy milk in his face, eys, nose,
yeres--fact is, in all his orgins-bottom Of piggn
kicked plum out an rollin long down toards the
house, like little wagon wheel. l heard some,
body xclaim, "Gemimy, Gems, don't she rar? look
out fur yerseE. Hooked round, and seed Rhody
goin up sapplin, quicker en- gray squirrel. =
Thar want none of your kourtin poetry, then. No.
sir. That old oman war so skeered she kouldn't O
kourted a piece from the smallest pamfet- don't
know whether she war able ter say her "now l lay
me down to Sleep" even. She want feelin suplne
jest then. That thar heifer warnt gittin pacitied
durin all this kommotion, nuther. She ripped
and ranted round in ring tryin ter look under
herself ter see what war trying ter suck her-ther
she stopped, swelled up ter bust the circinge, bu
| it war new one, and would Mt bust She throw
ed down her head, put her tong out little anc
bellered like she smelt beef blood-then run strai
through ten rail fence, thout jumpin-nockin thu
rails like pipe stems, and tuck bee line fur Par
son Morrow house. .,o, :.
"Geemes didn't that heifer kaper orful2' sale
Rhody, settin away up yander out on limb
Says I, 'Robert get up and git ladder. Ye
nanny can't kGmb down like she went up" thel
lookin up at Rhody, says 1, "give US passage o
poetry for the okasion," but she wouldn't, and
tuck the heifers track ter gee what had berkom
of her. I found bushes skinned, and cow har a
the way long till I kome to the Parsons palms.
Thar seed big gap down, and over in the korn
er Of the yard that heifer lay, pantin powerful an
tryin ter look over her sides. Old Miss Morrow