Rutland weekly herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1859-1877, 1867-08-15
from the Toledo Blade.l
Nasty.
ONE OF THE AUDIENCE.

MIXED, WITH NO REGARD WHATEVER FOR
TGMR, PLACE, OR FITNESS.
Posr OFFIs, CoNFEDRIr Y ROADS, }
(Which is in the Staff Nv Kentucky)
August l, 1857.
Last mite Their wuz a convocashen NV
the saints connected with the lnstitoot
(uv witch Deekin Pogram is the cheetest
and loveliest among ten Jhousand) to
take sweet counsel together onto sevral
matters connected with the institooshen
NV learnin, the success Nv witch IS so
dear to all NV US. The conversashen
happenin to turn upon the conferrin Nv
honrary degrees, DeekiG POgram sed that
he he'd q suggestion to make. He he'd
notist that all the leadin colleges NV the
country he'd practis Nv conferrin titles,
SIGH ez an. D., )" A. B" al, L. D.,
and SIGH, onto distinguished men, tho he
wuz free to say that he didn't know wat
in thunder they meant, or vat they wuZ
good for. But he he'd notist in moose
paper that no college he'd yet conferred
any SIGH onto Androo Johnson, Con-
sidrin it burnin shame, he wood sejest
that ez a rebook to the hide. bound in
stooshens Nv the North, that this college
do to-wHnst confer all Nv em, and eZ
many more e. there is, onto Mr.. Johnson.
Bascom remarkt that he didn't know
whether the President would feel CON-
pimentid. "YOo know, Deekin,' sed
he, "that this amt much Nv college !"
"Troo," sed the blessid old peece Nv
innosence, "too troo, but then, to
balance that, Johnson amt much Nv
President, 700 know =
And so the honrary degrees wuz con-
ferred and notice thereof wuz sent him
immejitly.
From this the question Nv the next
nominee Nv the party for President came
up. Bascom, who isn't ar-seein man,
asserted that it wood be necessary to
nominate Grant. The Deekin remarkt
that he tho't it wood be safe, but McPhel-
ter tho't different. He didn't bleeve In
the first place that it become a Peace
party, or at least party witch, eff it dip
ped It's hands in gore at all did it mostly
in Northern gore to take up Northern
General witch had dun his best towards
sendin many thousands of Southners to
their long homes, and besides the
General wouldn't take it.
Bascom wanted to know wat the con-
ference at Long Branch meant? Eff
General Grant wuZ in the control Nv
Weed Raymond and the Moo York Herald,
witch was ekal to the World the Flesh
and the Devil he felt that he he'd trooly
found the broad Macadamized road to
Dimocrisy. He begun to hev hopes Nv
him Various opinions WIZ expressed
by various persons, when, without comm
to any conclusion, we separated. | re-
tired that mite earlier than usual, and
my mind dwelln on the chances Nv my
continuin in offs in case Nv Grants
accession fell into troubled sleep and
dreamed a dream.
Methawt gathered in front Nv the
White House wuz gallant array Nv
our friends. There wuZ Franklin Peerce,
and Bookanon, and Vallsndigum, and
the Woods and Magoffin, and Monroe
and Brite, ann Breckenridge and the
leaders Of the Dimocrisy, all a standin
ther lookin wishfully at tbs White House,
and wondering how and by wat means
they Good git in. Johnson, blessings on
his head, stood onto the pOrticO wavin
Cor them to come, but alass guardin the
passage stood mighty host Nv Ablish.
nistS, armed aud clad in armOr, and in
such force ez to make the stormin Nv it
hopelis.
Glow shell we git in 7" sighed Bel
mont.
''Ah, indeed, how 2" answered Henry
Clay Dean.
chats the great moral question
how 2" echoed Ben Wood.
"My trends !" sed Thurlow Weed, "its
easy enut' When 700 can't sore like
the eagle, crawl like the snake. Sorein
is preferable, but crawlin will do in a
pinch Is ther not the Lion of the Re-
public? Can't 700 git him out and
mount him ? The Ablishnists hev re-
gard for that same Lion, and will never
discharge Their arrers at 700 when yoor
on his back, for fear Nv KILN him. Be.
sides yoor ridin him will in some degree
do away with the prejOodis they hev
agin 700"
"But how kin we mount him 2" said
they.
Crust Us for that :" said Wood, and
him and Raymond trOtted off to git
him.
They GOT the Lion out, but ez soon ez
he cast his eyes onto the crowd he ut
tered a roar witch struck terror into
Their soles, and dashed the ground with
his tail, and cast up dust with his claws
| in manner fearful to behold.
"He'll never stand it !" sed Weed, "on-
| less he's blind. folded" and Thurlow
wrapped Raymond like wet dish-rag
over his eyes, and that done, him and
Randall pared his nails and blunted his
teeth, so that eff the bandage shood wrig-
gle off and he shood see wher he wuz he
coodent hurt anybody, and shaved his
name, till he looked like very limo.
cent Lion indeed, so that his appearance
woodent startle them not used to his
fiercenis, and in that condishn they led
him very quietly down to the crowd and
give the word to mount.
| Lord wat scramble Their wuz. They
piled on from the tip Nv his ears to the
end NV his tail, and them wich coodent
git on for lack Nv room, hung to the feet
av them witch he'd got on, until it wuz
nothin less than pyramid Nv Demo-