Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1867-01-26

Pif, taking the tone of Mrs. Sniff, they
shoulder Sniff about when he is let in
with a corkscrew, and they whisk things
out of his hands when in his servility he
is going to let the public have 'em
and they snap him up when in the
crawling baseness of his spirit he is :
going to answer a public question, and
they drore more tears into his eyes than
ever the mustard does which he all day
long lays on the sawdust (But it ain
strong). Once, when Sniff had the re
pulsiveness to reach across to get the
milk-pot to hand over for baby, l see
Our Missis in her rage catch him by
both his shoulders and spin him out in
to the Bandolining room.
But Mrs. Sniff. How different
She's the one. She's the one as you |
notice to be always looking another way
from you when you're looking at her
She's the one with the small waist buck
led in tight in front, and with the LACE
cuffs at her wrists, which she puts OF
the edge of the counter before her, ant
stands smoothing while the public
foams. The smoothing the cuffs anc
looking another way while the public
foams, is the last accomplishment taugh,
to the young ladies as come to be finish.
ed by Our Missis, and it's always taught
by Mrs. Sniff
| Wboo nur NI;ss;S 1rant ou.u ,nop
her journey Mrs. Sniff was left in charge
She did hold the public in check most
beautiful! In all my time, l never see
half so many cups of tea given without
milk to the people as wanted it with
nor half so many cups of tea with milk
given to people as wanted it without
When foaming ensued, Mrs. Sniff woulc
say, Then you'd better settle it among
yourselves and change with one anoth
er" 1t was a most highly delicious
lark. 1 enjoyed the Refreshmentine
business more than ever, and was 81
glad 1 had took to it when young.
Our Missis returned. 1t got circu
lated among the young ladies', and it, as
might be, penetrated to me through the
crevices of the Bandolining Room, that
she had Orrors to reveal, if revelations
so contemplate could be dignifed with
the name. Agitation became awakened.
Excitement was up in the stirrups. Ex-
pectation stood tiptoe. At length it
was put forth that on our slackest even
ing in the week, and at our slackest
time of that evening, betwixt trains,
Our Missis would give her views of for
eign Refreshmenting in the Bandolining
Room. -.
1t was arranged tasteful for the oc-
casion. The Bandolining table and
glass was hid in corner, an armchair
was elevated on packing case for Our
Missis' ockypation, table and tumbler
of water, no sherry in it, thankee,) was
placed beside it. Two of the pupils,
the season being autumn, and holly
hooks and daliahs being in, ornamented
the wall with three devices in those
flowers. On one might be read, MAY
ALBION NEVER LEARN on another,
" KEEP THE PUBLIC Down y on an
other, "OUR REFREsHMENTING CHAR
TER" The whole had beautiful ap-
pearance, with which the beauty of the
sentiments corresponded.
On Our Missis's brow was wrote Se-
verify, as she ascended the fatal plat
form. (Not that that was anything
new.) Miss Whit and Miss Pif sat
at her feet. Three chairs from the
Waiting Room might have been per
ceived by an average eye, in front of her,
on which the pupils were accommodate
ed. Behind them, very close observ-
er might have discerned Boy. My
self.
"Where,' said Our Missis, glancing
gloomily around, "is Sniff"
81 thought it BETTER" answered Mrs.
Sniff, ''that he should not be let to come
in. He is such an ASS" ...
"No doubt" assented Our Missis.-
''But for that reason is it not desirable
to improve his mind?" ...
40, nothing will ever improve hin"
said Mrs. Sriff
"However,'' pursued Our Missis,
"call him in Ezekiel"
| called him in. The appearance of
low minded cove was hailed with disap-
probation from all sides, on account of
his having brought his cork-screw with
him. He pleaded the "force of habit. -
"The force ~ said Mrs. Sniff "Don't
let US hear you talking about force, for
Gracious sake. There! Do stand still
where you are, with your back against
the wall"
He is smiling piece of vacancy, and
he smiled in the mean way in which he
will even smile at the public if he gets
a chance, Language can say no meaner
of him) and he stood upright near the
door with the back of his head agin the
wall, as if he was waiting for some
body to come and measure him for the
Army.
81 should not enter, ladies'" said our
Missis, "on the revolving disclosure
am about to make, if it was not in the
hope that they will cause you to be yet
more implacable in the exercise of
the power you WELD in constitutional
country, and yet more devoted to the
constitutional motto which see before
me-" it was behind her, but the words
sounded better so; 8" May Albion nev-
er learn"
Here the pupils as had made the mot.
to admired it, and cried, "Hear hear
hearH' Sniff, showing an inclination
to join in chorus, got himself frowned