National opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1865-1874, 1867-01-18
OF 4 LECTURER

For the benefit of numerous class
Of ambitious men who aspire to be
come popular lecturers. | send you Il
few items OF my experience. went
to Southern Illinois to get a start as
a popular lecturer. | was advertis-
ed under the non de plume of :. The
Fat contributor" Ny audience was
small, owing to the public being sud
denly and severely indisposed-they
were indispOSed to come to the lee
ture. My audience, III fact, consist
cd Of but one people. He WAS n
gentleman. | began my discourse,
=" Gentlemen and ladies' but chang
ed it quickly to /" Respected sir y
Before | could proceed any further,
my audience arose Indignantly to
its feet as one man. | inquired the
cause OF the interruption.
:. Sir" said he. " the audience is
disappointed in the size Of the lee
turcr."
" Well, my dear sir,' said I, " the
lecturer is disappointed in the size
of his audience, and if you will not
say anything about size, won't"
He allowed me to proceed, and at
the conclusion was so well pleased
that he urged me to stay another
night, when he promised Il much
larger audience. He would not
7 httt IA, hi
wife, who weighed 200 pounds. |
didn't stay.
] have had a good deal of money
in the house at one time and anoth-
er, generally in the pockets of some
wealthy man in the audience. | Al
ways come with money, however |
borrow little to come with.
| have had some large houses.
The largest had was at Louisville,
Ky. That house must have been
300 feet long, and 80 feet wide.
while in height it came pretty high
took all the proceeds to pay the
rent. a Louisville editor said a
good thing about me-he said ::
:. The Fat Contributor lectured
/ last night to Il small house. His
: style resembles ArtanuS Wards bat
he has not the ease and grace of Ar
temaS before an audience AS
! though a lecturer could be at ease
/, before an audience when the audi
| ence wouldn't pay expenses. AS
| grace accompanies meat where's my
: grace!
e The fullest house I have had was
t at Pithole City, IN the oil regions
t Every man was full of beer. The
i lecture went off very we'll notwith
: standing. II didn't go OFF a. wei
n as nv doorkeeper did-he went OF
e with the receipts.
c ] gave two consecutive lectures al
Y Oil City. At the conclusion of the
+ second lecture. one of the first clti
Zens (the second edition had not yet
: arriveU arose, assured me that | had
delighted them greatly. lie saii
n they hadn't enjoyed themselves 81
much siLce Thayers was hung. lie
II added that it was the request OF tlh'
IL duulcIItt tt WNSot-ti'NiN "Nit A'
Y cn mdsSe altogether-that | shoul'
stay another night. The LANDLORD
d of the inn where | was stopping
e arose somewhat hastily, and state'
d that | couldn't stay another nigh
'c with him unless my bill was guar
2, anteed. Such is OttentlmeS the Ell
d couragement that genius receives Il
|, the hands Of the merCenaly.
II \ little town on the Alleghan
l turned out. The principal occups
It ton of the inhabitants was to han
e oil That being the only hall the
f had, lectured in a grocery shol
n People turned out in a most uneS
h pected manner; they turned on
Ie the lightS-then they turned out tn
ii lectuer because he wasn't fat enough
G. They gave me twenty minutes
leave the town. told them if the
would make it twenty dollars I'd e
OF At the termination of the twtnt
d, minutes. | felt something con
rs, against me very rapidly from b
e. hind. Ny first impression was th'
IL it was an old leather valise. Su
Al. sequent reflections has convince
of me that it was Il boot. | shoe
OF hands with them all with much fec
N ing. / told them t = must eXcli'
IS me, for felt that | nd got to 90
he