The Wyandot pioneer. (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1853-1868, 1867-08-08
\ MINNESOTA MARRIAGE.

i. v. htbEt, ffeG !.
w. Fl. JONES, Sec'y. . 49,
A MINNESOTA MARRIAGE.
In the semi rural districts of Wi
ona, on the Minnesota side Of the
Mississippi river, lives, among sew
eral people, jolly good fellow Of a
Justice of the Peace, whose idea of
matters are much like the waters Of
a deep river Once stal.Gd it is
hard to turn them. On a fair day
last week, after chairs had been ret
in row against the side of the Of
fee, and sundry whipped guilds OTTO
bacco and mutilated cigar stumps
had been. kicked under the stove,
there was a wooden step ON the
stairs and a vigorous rap atthe door.
/ sCome in,' said the Justice, as he
settled into legal look SO beftting
a man of law. ajfzis.sss - :
A stout woman entered. She had
on short woolen dress-wooden
soled shoes-sported red cheeks,
black hair, and eyes that snapped
like the the lock ola shot gun. In
a Portuguese accent,and in the worst
possible English, she said,--
''You law man %
Eyes, madam be seated
"Want paper to take man."
Just then stout French half
breed entered the room. He was
unable to speak half a dozen words,
and looked either scared or bashful.
The Judge saw at once that there
was some marriage to come off, and
said to the woman, who stood with
compressed lips watching the JUS
tice and the door
want paper to take this man 7"
"Yes-want paper. Me teach
him. mice woman, thought the
Justice. He no good man me take
so quick as can" II
"All right, my covies-fix you in
the jerk of a lambs TAIL" said the
Justice, as he turned to the man and
said: =
-"You know this woman can you
take her p
The man shook his head and NUT
tered unintelligible words.
"Ah! 1 see. Can't talk English.
Well never mind"
He ran into the street, invited a
a few friends up stairs, and on re-
turning with them said to the wo-
man.
"You want to take this man for
better or for worse p
ssYes-me want to take him-me
payw esI5 szs
"All right I"
Then turning to the man who
stood trembling
'sYou take this woman for better
or for worse, and promise to keep
her." &c
.'Umph :" and several mods of the
head.
''Then in the name Of the law, and
virtue of the authority in me vested,
/ pronounce you man and wife. -
And he stepped forward before the
woman could say word and kissed
her red lids. s2 r
"Slap" came her hand in his face
and she clutched his hair. The new
husband jumped in to take the wo-
man away, and to protect her, as the
man supposed, when in self preser-
vation the Justice gave him rap
On the nose. The woman pitched
into the new husband, who in turn
pitched into her, and for about five
minutes there was a general bustling
and display of legs, garters, and
things, decidedly astonishing.
Atlast the parties were separated,
when the man and woman took an
other turn at each other, the blood
and hair flying in all directions
Do wn came the stove, over went the
table, clatter went The chairs, and
into the street like mad went the
Justice, with black eye and the boz
som ofhis shirt looking like war
ranty deed covered with red seals
A crowd rushed up stairs and
found the man and woman lying on
the floor, hugging each other like
young bruins, their arms and legs
mixed up worse than tomatoe.vines,
the woman on top, and pommeling
her newly-made husband with o
hearty will. gi Z ed
The newly married couple we're
separated, when through the aid OF
two Interpreters 1t was. discovered
that the night before, the parties, oc-
cupying adjoining shanties insths
lower part Of the town, had got into
despute over some stove. pips.
which was claimed BY both, and from
words they come to blows. Each
party had hastened to the Justices
Office in the morning for q warrant,
for the other, with the result rs stated
above. e..s..
The last news from there VAS that
the parties had gone in search Of an.
other Justice to unmarry them, while
the cause OF their terrible squabbls
was "setting up the boys" and bath.
ing his bnnged eye in camphor and
whisky. For an actual fact, it is the
richest within our knowledge-A.