The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1867-06-13
HUMOROUS.

l. It is exceedingly bad husbandry to
harrow up the feelings of your wife.
Pride goeth before fall" It of
ten goes before a waterfall.
Why is prosy preacher like the
middle of a wheel? Because the, fell
lows around him are tired.
A waggish editor says that the
streets of one of the Western cities
are to be lighted with red-headed
girls. We'd like to hug the lamp
posts = ss5
Que night, in thunder shower, we
thought the little ones all asleep, when
"a little voice from the trundle-bed
called out, Oh, mother, the dark is
winkingi first it shuts up, and then it
shuts down.
A short time since two young
ladies, well known, were holding high
converse over the virtues of certain
new dress And does it fit well?"
asked one. Fit? as if Ed been
melted and poured in. s
"Well, Sambos what's yer up to
now a-days?'' sf "a. ..5....ss...
"''' On, I is carp 'ner and jiner"
He / guess yer IS. What de-
partment does yer PERFORM
4" What department? Why, does
de circulating work .;fi "a s.g.,
What's dat2" 81 ,
"Why, I turns de grindstone"
sos G'way.'f sa.rr- in5 s
Turn recently married his
cousin of the same name. When in
terrogated as to why he did so, he re-
piled that it had always been maxim
of his that, :. one good turn deserves
another and he acted accordingly.
An Irishman. carrying a !. heavy
burden upon his shoulders, was rid
ing in the front ola Boston horse car,
and was asked why he did not set his
load upon the platform. ! Be Il ia
bers,'' was, his reply. the horses have
enough to do to drag me; | III carry the
Papa" said terrible infant at
the breakfast table, can fishes run2"
ISL" No my son, /" said papa, with true
dignity, fishes do not run, they
swim by using their fins and tails
well, then, what did Cousin So
phie mean when size said that you
looked in the morning like the last
run of shad? "1isis oal 81 ne
1t is believed that when Cousin
Sophie caught that terrible infant "
alone her conduct toward him was
not caressing. baHas'hi A"A $500
"A country editor describing the
bonnets now in fashion, says: {" They
have a downward slant that reminds
one of a viciouscow with board fixed
across her eyes, ,..as n. 4a
THE STORY OF GRAVE DIGGINa.-
Mrs. So-and-so lost her, husband,
very good man, to whom she was
much attached. A few days after the
funeral the sexton brought in his bill.
- For digging grave, two dollars"
/" My gracious" said the woman, you
don't charge two dollars for digging a
grave in such soft spot as that. I
would have willingly have dug it my
self for one dollar"
A SENSIBLE CLERGYMAN.-An old
Florida Methodist, who had been an
army chaplain, and was teaching a fe-
male seminary, in the course of con-
versation, says: have been under
civil government, ecclesiastical gov
eminent, and petticoat government
and | like petticoat government the
best" Age evidently had not impair
ed the acuteness of his understanding.
THE STORY OF THE LOST HORSE.
On one occasion our reverend rector
had a brother to preach for him, with
whom he had exchanged. The broth
er neglected. to tie his horse In the
shed sufficiently strong, and he stray
/ ed. Most unfortunately the text of
the sermon was that passage in Job,
"Oh, that knew where / could find
him" &c. But no sooner had the
text been announced than good man
arose, with great solemnity, Informing
the minister that the horse had been
found-when and where.
A girl in a neighboring city applied
to her teacher for leave to be absent
half day, on the plea that they had
company at home. The teacher re-
ferred her to the printed list of reasons
that the School Committee think suf-
ficient to justify absence, and asked
her if her case came under any of
them. She naively replied that it
might come under the head of 8 Do
nestle afiiotion." "a ...1 -
An unfortunate bachelor, in the
northern part of New Hampshire,
who had made many unsuccessful at
tempts to get wife, at last succeeded,
by the irresistible temptation of a
teen-dollar silver watch, In in
ducing high-tempered old maid to
marry him. The ceremony having
been performed at the house of the
brides father, the happy husband pro-