The Weekly Perrysburg journal. [volume] (Perrysburg, O. [Ohio]) 1861-1???, 1867-07-05
Selected SelistelIanp,
Rules for CourtIng.

Rules for COurtlng.
The following good advice on the above
subject is from the pen Of John Quill, who
scenes to have had rathora bliss(ul expe,
rienco in regard to such matters:
Having had much experience in the sci.
ence of counting, | have determined here.
with to lay down some definite rules Cor the
| gGidanoo OF my young friends. yb snu
| You see had good many unsuccessful
courts before | met my present wife-tho
females whom loved having gone emphat.
ically back on me- But, bless you; did it
harm met No, itdidu't; Iwas benefited
| thereby, and when mot my present wife /
knew the ropes, and gathering up my Jaffeo.
tions made one fell swobp o,PSillie's heart,
and the dool, thereof baug ed wide open and
let me ia. will give you the rules, aud
shed the sunny light OF illustration upon
them from my own life. ,....... -....
! l. Never go conrting the girls parents.
| You'd better edge up to the charmcr her.
self at once for you can't marry her II you
don't try. unless she wants YOU, and yuu
may be able TO then even if tho old folks
are hard you. .
This is the policy pursued by myself Ia
my last successful attempt. rr. 20 .
2 BY all means get the girls ma down
on you as much as possible. II the old
lady is always blowing against you, the lit.
tie dear begins to take your part, and can t
help loving you. ....., r,............ t.,
l'did,bis Way, and my present mother.
in.law used to throw brooIns aud wash
boards at me, and teach the dog to bite me
| in the trousers as climbed over the fence,
N. B. She's got oyer it now, and lives at
my house without paying board, If fremorse
| faa IN IN, IF har
conduct, however, haven't noticed it yet,
~ g. If you see any other fellows prowling
about, always euchre them If you can. If
you see one of them buy tickets for the
opera, 60 right up and make an engagement
with the girl, and get your tickets after
wards aud when they visit the house al
ways act ais II you were at home and they
were only visitors, and never leave first
always did this, aud have frequently sat
until daybreRk, while the fair one suored
away on the sofa. You can't bluff me. No,
sir, nal hal guess not. I would have been
there yet if the fellow had stayed.
A. If the old man has worldly wealth, ex
press dislike to greenbacks, and have a
hankeriug after love in small house. ll
5. Ifyou arc alone in the parlor you may
sometimes try whether your arm fits well
on her waist. ...'.,. -,,,j.
tried this once, and called forth apiero-
ling scream, which inducdd her heavy
father and two brothers TO chuck me down
the front steps. So be careful.
6. When you inquire if she will have You
don't fall on your knees-its tidicnlous,
besides being rough on trousers Just take
her hand, and speak out like man.
behaved similarly to this to a female,
and said: Will you be mine2' She re.
piled, rather ahruptly,I Not much, !
won'tT It's likely shs would have been a
little, but Iodidn't care about pursuing the
subject any further. a 5a 8s- 'rrs =
4 When you are engaged, don't go off
likean old fool, and begin buying teaspoons,
and wash.boilers, and candies. 1t is very
unwise, and exoites comments. aisl ,ro III
- Why, recollecitI' was 40 glad that
went right off and purchased a baby.jpmper
and 'gum.fing. 1t was a long while ere
those things were necessary, and the baby
Jumper had shFunk so that when we putt
the first of the little Quills into it. it suds'
denly jerked up, and came frightfulIy near.
.batterng the devoted clild's brains out
against the ceiling, while the gun ring,
having been kept in a box wi til cookroach
poison, threw the baby into hts, and he (it
was a boy) had spaEms'inTthe crib for four
days. - eh4si el,i af a r'ar irr~ af
ao'S. If a gul refuse you, don't give it up,
but try it again. Because two negatives
make an lflirmatiye in grammar. however,
don't consider yourself accepted when q
girl jilts you twice. .-. Br. -r1,
asked one fem lie forty-one timse, and
at last she got to expect It wherever ] came
aud sometimes would heller out Nor
from the top Of tile stairs, before ] got
fairly into the house. This is unusual, let
me here remark h'''
9. Kiss all the little-ehildren In the house,
even it they are dirty and do smear fholas.
ses candy III your hair. Let the boy ypIay
horses with you aud make fool of you
This always works. It's al
trump card, if you play il right, --,,5
10. And finally, if there are two sisters,
ana the old one is jealous, get sonie Que to
choke her off, while you go in for the |
/! 4gi1 r. ss1nlI 81 rH2bragJ oit
Ldid that otce,1 add usel TO got my
friends 70 ask the senior girl ont eYeiy |
evening but she found ne OUT and used
to arrange hair pius in the sofa cushions
before she went out, SO that it was ex
tremely uncomfortable. r'ptF 1't
Thus il viii be seen flat, when court,
ship is alluded to. lam right thpre z il any |
further information is wanted, send me
etter, enclosing a stamp (ffty cents) and
will cheerfully give il gratis ,ihe