Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1867-07-10

laLcu industry OF luQureu years.
s, and lastly. An amount of swear
| ing, gambling, drunkenness, prostitution
Generalization that cannot be enumerated
| by figures.
This will do for the debit; and wher
fanaticism sleeps for a moment, the ma
tion's eyes will open and a reaction vii
set in that will emancipato my constitu
ency, the white people Of the land. T Ap
plause and dissent
So much for debit; what for credit
Gentlemen, I have no figures. You mus
be content with ideas.
HOW OLD JAKE WON TIE CHEESE
Some years since I was employed as
warehouse clerk in a large shipping
house in New Orleans, and while in that
capacity, the following funny scene oo.
CURED:
One day vessel came in, consigned
to the house, having on board a large
lot Of cheese from New York. During
the voyage some of them had become
damaged by bilge water, (the ship hav-
ing proved laaky,) consequently the
owners refused to receive them they
were therefore sent to the consignors of
the ship, to be slowed until the case
could be adjusted. I discovered a few
days afterwards, that as to perfume they
were decidedly too fragrant to remain in
the warehouse in the middle of June,
and reported the same to my employers,
from whom I received order to have them
over hauled, and send all that were pass
ible to Ceard & Calhoun's auction mart,
Chen in the old Camp street Theatre,) }
to be disposed of for the benefit Of the
underwriters, and the rest Of the swamp.
I got a gang of black boys to work on
them, and when they stirred 'em up, be
the bones of Molly Kelly's quart pot |
but the smell was Elegant intirely. I
kept respectable distance, believe me,
for strong niggers and strong cheese, on
a hot June day, just bangs all common
essences, including q certain 'varmint
we read about.
Presently the boys turned out an i'm
mense fellow about three feet six inches
across the stump from which the box
had rotted in the centre a space about
ten inches was very mnch decayed, and
to be about the consistency of
mush, of blush tint-caused by the
bilge water. The boys had just set it
up on its edge on a hale of gunny-bags,
when noticed over the way a big dar-
key (then on sale) from Charleston,
South Carolina, who was notorious for his
butting propensities, having given most
Of the niggcrs in that vicinity taste Of
his quality in that line. I had seen him
and another fellow, the night previous,
practising; they would stand one on
each side of hydrant, some ten yards
distant, and run at each other with their
heads lowered, and olapping their hands
upon the hydrant they would butt like
rams. A thought struck me
that I might cure him Of his Dragging
and butting, and at the same time have
some fun, so I told the boys to keep dark,
and called Odd Jake over.
"They tell me you are q great fellow
for buIting, Jake"
"I is some, Massa, dat a fnc-I done
butt de wool 'tirely orf oh old Peters
head lass night, and Massa Nichols was
gwine to glib mo goss! I kin iiss bangde
head orr any niggor desc parts, myself
I kin ~
"Well. Jake, I've got a little job in
that limo for you, when you haven't any
thing else to do"
"I's on hand for all dem kin OBJ Jobs,
myself, is"
"Well, you see that large cheese back
there"
81 dus dat 4! I dus myself"
"Now. if you can butt dent in it you
shall have it.
"Golly, Massa you fooin' dis mig
ger ?"
"No, I'm not, Jake-just you try me. 3" |
"WOt? you glib me hull Of dat cheese
f butt dint in 'um ?"
"Yes."
"De Lor ? I'll bust 'em wide open, I !
will myself. Jess stand back dar, you
I'D Orleans nigge's and clear de track
or Ole Sout Carlina, case Use comm
myself is"
And Old Jake started back some fifty
eet and went it at a good, quick run,
nd the next instant I heard dull, heavy
ound, kind of squash, and Old Jake's
lead disappeared from sight, with the
op just visible on the other side, as he
rose with his new fashioned necklace,
he soft rotten cheese oozing down all
round him as it settled down so that
ust his eyes were visible. From the
entire Of it Jake's voice was scarcely
udible and half smothored, as he vainly
ried to remove the immense cheese.
. "O-o-o-o er de Lor Mass-took' 'em
IF. O-o-o-o! bress de Lor !-Lif 'um
p! Gor-amighty L" ...
Meanwhile [ was nearly dead, myself |.
aving laid back on a cotton balo hold
ne myself together to keep from burst
lg, while the boys stood around Old
axe paying him off.
ode Lori how the niggor's bref smell! |.
.ou doesn't clean you tcef, Ola Jake % !,
81 say, you did Mt make more dan four
mes dat han, did you, old hoss ?'
"WolI, you is a nasty uiggor, dats
lc"
"WoIl, you is dc biggest kline OBJ Welsh
i !' ].