The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1867-07-18
From the Toledo Blade.
vicb is in tbe State NV Massac boogetts,)

June 20, 1897.
I hev alluz he'd an incorrect idea. Nv Boston.
[ spozed Boston TO be strate laced, moral to
a degree not TO be understood by a pimoerat,
and PuritanicIe. I wuz mistaken. There isez
hgavy per cent. NV men in whom His Eggs
lency and 1 kin take delite ez Their is in any
city in the country, ez the the following Incl
dents, witch came under my notice will show
Ez we wuz agoing through Franklin street
a man stepped up to the carriage rather hest
tatingly-
"Mr President said he.
''Wen,'' sed His Eggslency, turnin full up
on him
The site Nv the nose nv the Step Father ur
his country resshured him.
''Mr President" wood 700 like some
punch?"
punch! Certainly. But hewitt 700 suthin
stronger, to lay foundashen with %
Certainly" and he pulled bottle of bran
dy from his right hind pocket, and the great
man took an observashen Nv the sky thro the
bottom Nv it, witch lastid mint. L never
agin will doubt that the material to make
lDimocrisy NV exists in country whar they
come to 700 with punch, and hev brandy bot
lies in their coat pockets.
Bokays were showered upon US. One old
Igentleman who sot two hours in chair wait
in to present US with his, finally histed it at
us. The fact that there was a note in it askin
for posishen for the genrous giver don't de-
tract anything from the yalyoo nv the gift.
When we got to the end Nv our trip ther
was dray load Nv bokays in our carriage and
in all but three NV EN- wuz tied up recommen-
dashens for the giver for places. Its better
to hev SIGH missives enveloped in roses, though
the most thorns we git amt got roses round
EN-.
The most teching incident wuz the number
Nv babies we he'd to kiss. The mothers press
ed to our carriage steps to present their off
springs Mistaking me for the President, l
kissed half NV EN-. The rapcherus expreshun
on the upturned faces NV the anxshus mothers
affected the President to tears, shower, ez ii
did, the confidence reposed in him.
''Whist Teddy'' sed one Nv EN-, "and
how'd yer mug up fer the man to kiss who
dosent kiss the dirty nagers ~
"Musha, Phelim, be still. The Prisidint
n bless his sow, won't bite ye p
Lind me your apron, Peggy, to wipe Ter
, RVS face wild. The President mustn't kiss the
J darlin. faint livery President wood do the
loike % ,
And the President kissed, and I kissed, til
). our lips wuz sore.
Sich is posshun! "a
That mite I received q letter from DeekiI
Pogram, in which he desired me to ascertain
d whether or no there wuz eny bottom to tn
Northern Democracy. Captain McPhelter SCI
the Northern Democrsy wuz strong enuff t
: Ecarry us NV Kentucky throo, while Pollock
: the Illinoyer, swore the Northern Democris
q had considerable more to do to carry them
selves than they he'd been able to accomplis
for some time-that in pullin match corps
wuznt NV much akkount if it wuz a big one
With this letter in my hand l fell asleep, an
while asleep, dreemed;
h Me thawt Iwuz in Moo Orleans at gathri
Nv the Faithful, who wuz called together 70
the purpose Of considrn wat to do. Sum few
:, Longstreet, Governor Brown and JEFF ThomI
son-wuz in favor of submission, and he'd go
the majority ~ the Southern people to agre
with 'em thai there was no yoose nv furthe
resistance, and they wuz iist about to so de
clare, when Vallandigham, Rem Wood, Toucey
4 Morrissey, Voorhees,, and ascore or two NOR
\ NV that kind, rushed in and beggid NV 'em
d hold out. 'Why submit ?' sed Vallandigham
Gwen sustain 700. The Northern Democr
sy is giant witch ken yet perfect 700. He
Z in his prime and strong enuff yit to carry 20
throo twice the troubles wich threatens voc
Depend onto us-we'll carry yoo."
And the Southerners whopped over to the
side and yelled tiercely ''No submission |!
+ and immejitly the entire bilin nv 'em starti
Il North with these men to ascertain the strengt
and carryin capacity Nv the Northern Dimocr
J sy. Methawt the party Travelled and travele
until finally they come to vast plain in Ker
lucky, onto wich wuz extendid PROSTATE th
form Nv Giant. 1t wuz a Giant immense i
statoo, but emaciated to the last degree: Hi
limbs he'd bin strong, his teeth terrible, an
his trunk massive, bat it wuz plane to Sc
that he wuz pegged out, and a look at his fac
> showed why it wuz so. Dissipation he'd re
doost him to helplessnis. His face wuz bloat
id and bloc, his eyes wuz sot, and CHASTITY, hi
e chestw uz hollerand sunken his legs like pip
stems, and ulcers, boils, sores, brooses ant
. contooshens kivered him from head to foot
and he draWed his breath with an effort.
He lay a groanin and groanin Randall
wuz a tenderly feedin him out Nv huge bot
i lie labelled appointments witch appeared t.
P give him temporary strength, but the effect u,
that wuz lost by President Johnson's dosil
e him with an Extensively smelln mixter LABEL
ed policy" evry swaller NV witch wood throw
y him into spasm. Governor English wuz rub
d bin one arm with the liniment Randall gavt
him, and had succeeded in gittin up littlt
circulation in it,
, ''Wat is this ?'' askt the Southerners.
5 Northern Dimocrisy!' sed English, rubin
away vigorously.
is this the Giant wich is to carry us ?'' sec
the Southern gentlemen, viewin the disgustir
i objick doubtfully.
Certainly said johnson, Snow can't YOU
git up?" said he, to the PROSTATE bein, givir
it very large swaller out Nv his bottle. The
giant made an effort, but topped down agi1
like dish-rag.
: Gentlemen" said Vallandigham, ''we shell
hey to call upon 700 toassist in settin him on
to his feet, and then it'll be all rite with him
4 He's bin this way before.'
Accordingly the southerners gathered around
j him to lift him up. His arms, Inotist wu2
marked respectively Connecticut and Della
ware and his legs Maryland and Kentucky, and
in them Their wuz strength, for ez soon ez the
innocent southerners got near enuff he wrapt
1 them limbs around EN- and sed:
y Lift ?"
We can't" sed they.
''Yoo must, sed he. st got into this con-
dishen fghtin your battles and dom your
. work. wuz strong and yigrons until l got TO