Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1867-08-02
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A CERTAIN FARMER, who in the course Of q
year purchased several dollars. worth ofgoods
(and always paid for them), called at the
store of a village merchant-his regular place
of ofdealing-with two dozen brooms, which be
offered for sale. The merchant (who, by The
way, is fond ola bargain, examined his stock
and said;
aWeH, Cyrus, will give you shilling
apiece, for these brooms.
Cyrus seemed astonished at the offer, and
quickly replied:
'Oh, no, John, can't begin TO take that
for, EN-, no how; but I'll let you have them
for twenty cents apiece, and not cent less. F"
''Cyrus, you are crazy" replied John,
''Why, see here" showing fine lot OF
brooms, lis an article great deal better than
yours (which was true), which | am retailing
at twelve and half cents apiece" (which was
not true by seven and half cents).
"Don't care for that, answered Cyrus;
''your brooms are cheap enough, but you
can't have mine for less than twenty cents
anyhow aud pretending to be more than
half angry, shouldered his brooms and started
or the door.
The merchant, getting nervous over the
probable loss Of a good customer, and fearing
that he might go to another store, and never
return, said:
''See here, Cyrus, hold on awhile. fl
give you twenty cents for your brooms, sup
pose you will not object to take the price of
them out in goods?n
'No, don't care if do, replied Cyrus.
"Well, then, said the merchant, ''as you
are al old customer, viii allow you twenty
cents apiece for this lot Let me see-twenty
times twenty-four makes four hundred and
eight cents; What kind of goods will you
have, Cyrus?''
''Wel, now, John, reckon it don't make
any difference to you what sort of goods
take, does it?''
"Oh, no, not at all-not at all, said the
merchant.
"Well, then, as it don't make any difference
l will take the amount in them brooms Of
yours, at twelve and half cents piece! Let
me see-four dollars and eighty cents will get
thirty brooms, and ten cents over 1t won't
make much difference, John, about the ten
cents, but as you are a right clever fellow,
believe III take the change in terbGcker.
When Cyrus went out at the door with his
brooms and "terbacker,n John was seized
with serious breaking out at the mouth, du-
ring which time he was distinctly heard to
violate the third commandment several times
by the bystanders, who all enjoyed the joke.
The MAINE ELAw,-The goodpe OF Maine
have been trying the virtues said to lie in a
strict enforcement of this we'll known statue
The constabularY, having concluded their
legitimate labors, have recently been employ
ed as follows, if we may believe the Standard,
published at Augusta. 1t says
We give the following as the result Of the
past weeks labor:
A COW arrested for having two horns
A coIored individual, lately deceased, fined
for being ION his bier
A pair of boots seized for being tight
A little boys kite sentenced to have its tail
cut off for having "high time"
4 clothing dealer ''hauled up for adyerti-
sing 'Grcat Bar gains.
A confectioner tried for selling "Ginger
Snaps.
A horse ran away and smashed a wagon.
The horse was promptly arrested, but it being
proved that the smash contained nothing
intoxicating, he was acquitted.
Several Cocktails" found in the hencoop
Of prominent citizen, we're confscatcd.
The success ofthe police in this seizure caus-
ed much Growing and it will doubtless
''spur' them on to increased activity.
An unfortunate Hiberniau was locked up
for getting punch in the head
worthy shoemaker, seized on suspicion of
being 'cobbler," but proving there was no
''sherry' connected with him, was released
on condition that this should be his 'last''
offence. He was informed that any future
derefction would involve the confscation of
his ''al" The excitement ''waxed' intense.
Complaint that barrel Of beef was found
''corned'' at Adams
"BoB, that is fine horse you have there;
how much is he worth?"
''Fhree hundred and fifty dollars"
mot SO much as that?''
''Yes, every cent oft, aud another fifty on
top Of it.
care you sure?'
Yes I'll swear to it.
'All right
'What are you so inquisitiye for?"
"Merely for the assessing purposes. am
assessor of this ward, and only wanted to
know what you rated your nag at
ssy~ Wedding Cards, Business Cards, Bill