The New York herald., 1867-12-15
W TICIs NJ S.
From tho Evening telegram. ]

morning cail-Milk below.
prudent point--Cape Lookout
Crave charqos--An undcrtaker's fees
Christmas laws contain Santa claustel
The Pet OF the 0rchestra-lho trumpet
What liquid would lover boz Beside her.
popular but dsrepaiablc feinaie-Scan Nag.
Al evangec weapon-Thc Acts Of the Apostlsa
What vo all ind in the world-Ths difficulty eG
living.
work Of art--A widow tryin to gel o husband
What part OF cigar Is most Ikea trecf Tho ash-A
The largest hall for reading In New York-Dicksnsr
Another successful breeder OF short .shcrns'-s
Whiskey tax.
severe blow for Secretary s,ward-The island Of ssi
ThomaA 4
When Is small beer not sman beers whsn
little TART
The end ofsouard's real estate purchasos--A drop n
the crater. ~
Always At tho watering placss-Mlkmen and iiquoa
DEALERS
Judy knows man so hard up that he even sleeps oe(
tick.
What you must take when seized with tho chclers--,
Take sick. 4
whs. do you slwaysdo before you 20 to seeD' Shut
wha. that which Is heightened by being cut u bot
endsY ditch
What game cards do quadrupeds best understandd 4
All foara
Lunk head sweetness long drawn out-Ths state oosl
sttulional Convention. A
Petroleum. shares dennod by Pope "pars u ond
stupendous hole"
Why Is the letter D lika drunkard's lifef Beeaus
1t aways ends bad. 1
Why does . donkey like thistcs better than corn 4
Because he Is q
Anomaous--The "scen" painter At theatre 10 nsvso
visible 10 the audience.
young womans conundrun. n.--Who u our faver1t4
Roman heros Marius. 4
When boy falls into the water what Is the nrst thino
he doess He gets vet. 1
When can q road be said TO he emotionA3 When q
has positive inclination.
An unknown historic hero -Cantharides who had
always made the Spanish fly.
Secretary McCullochs financial systsm-KiH Tim;
goose that lays The golden egg.
The prosperous who yields himself up 70 teinpa3
tion bids farewell TO welfare.
Why are lovers sIchs like long stockingsf Becouse'
they are high hose theigh bosL eM
Advice to parties in doubt whether 70 buysoY hire q
house-0f two evil chose the leased.
when did the ancient Greeks 6pd Il profitable ~
plough the oceaus In the days Of Ce-crops.
Dickens brings "Great Expecta tons' TO America and
will take back American Notss" 10 England.
"Each moment makes thee dearer" ~ the passino4
nious tradesman said 10 his extravagant wife.
The man who arrested for stealing away disi
charged, the evidence having been indshnitG
whss Congress means BY prohibiting Mccuoch's coaS
Gacticn pOlicy-T0 secure cnsnge IN the Treasury. I
slow does your newly purchs ;ed horse answer ?" q
really don't know Tor never asked him question
What ID the difference between . gauxs dress and Z
drawn toothf Ono Is TOO thin and the other toofl
Aiady, who has son at school, has forbidden him.
TO play the .na,onal game, iof lear he may be prsns
tursiy baed.
gentleman, ia boasting OF his w,fs's many eroaI.
iencies says she Is BEAUTIFUL dusi-ful armiai youth
full
tits popular delusion to believe that powder On 4
lady's the elect in The OF mue>f
kst-asssts her 70 60 or t4nfA
Tho worst in the world What reason have ws "a
suppose Nobes tears preparation for winssrf Bseass
sne would shed them
Railroad uniform-If the conductors wear plain coat@
and trossers, what should the baggagsInsn wear :
Answer-Checked trunks
INA, you will give me an apple win DO good. u
" No, my child, you must not be GOOD for pay--yoQ
ought 70 be good for nothing"
The young man who asked tho daughter's hand and
got The fathers toe had the consolation Of moving
that his wooipg was not bootiess.
How may man pay hrs church tax by losses II The
bill ard tablet Easily enough CLERICAL rates arc cu
rates and cue-ratcs are billiard leeA
mo peut up Utica contracts our pe~crs
But the whole bolnd.sss continent 10 oasa"
Some wiseacres predicted that Seward's West Indis
purchases would eEd in smoke. This Was mis takad
Iney are moro Likely 70 end Ia nrs.
Why are young ladies' at the breaking up Of psryl
like arrowsS Because they cant 20 on without besu
and in culver I'll they yet oDa
"Am not little pasfp inquired LADY who wae
short and corpuent OF crasty old bachelor 'sYo1
ook more like . big tcb,' ," ~asine blunt reply. 1
'Bndset. has sha, soskhead cleaned OF oa tho snow,
with alaeniys'' .No marm--ald shovel"
Tho Cheyenncs have only killed tnres since sign,
Ing the lae treaty. and thai was only 70 Try the pew
suds presented 70 them oy me Commss'onerssays the
Miner's Register.
Stewards soIlloquy his contemplated new purchase.
Ime seven O'Clock 10 the evening taier dinnsrl Sow
ard, ioqu.iur-..wn-i am so--hic-cuba or ~hAa MI
Tho King Of Belgians has sent Baron Pycks ht4
hnlster 20 Rome is may 30 usslasa n ~ s1 sort 81
keys he has really no use tor p.ckl
Dickens has had his likeness taken. OF course, since
his arrival Ia New York, aud 10 said 10 be good ope
AL those who admire ais tales wi Of coarse SECURE
oi has heads. I,
little four year old girl attended church, and upon
returning homo her nAoIher assd her ~ " she remsms
.Ths LADIES' sewing society will meet a. krA so-and
Sos house on Moad~y next"
An exhorier at royival meeting became rather is~
dgnan. because oros1er was ms sas = ~
blessing or Cod there's one thing can beat him MI
can fiddle his snirt on." eS~ u
Adilapidated old darkey In Montgomery, whs wAtch-
inc The MONKEYS in . msnagsnc in that city, spoke!
thusiy :-"Dcn children got scc much sense 70 ccus
oussn Dat cage white folks Gu. dar aiIs on ano so' en-
TO votin' and maxim constite~tions."
Not long since young Kentucknn paid his undividea
attention 70 one o tho sar sex and. dead 10 eanee4
coacludsd 20 pop the qies'oa Alter much "a@msr @ @
and hesitation the yOuni lady exclaimed, - sn -
tally engaged, but mother wants 10 marry
General Napier, who commands the exp'dhcu ~
Abyss'na, intends TO have his base o. op.rssens 9
Msssowah. This looks orninous Tor the nauvs,
negroes Is likely that after their snnngatios -
England tnsy will have 70 pronouucs y hAaai % y
Nan
young man OF great gslantry recsntiy rescued .
beautiful woman who was In DANCER OF drowning soS
stood 10 high ted shoes surrounded by forty springs
under a waiered silk. with catalacs m her syN q
waterfall On the back OF her head aud notion N has
BRAIN
An Irshman who witnessed The rapal volupteers frurn
Scotland marching board the sezner IN me Inams9
was tainted ihc that scotland had got ahead Of
Ireland IN defence OF his Holiness, vneu he renarxsa
.Faith an It's them rstlin tne Scoichmcn ought 70
/ 60; snlfe they do wonders 10 the Kilt killed."
Some years sro . cerfy Vas presiding 70 larr.
audience IN = Wild part OF Illinois, and announced for
hs text, ssIn my fathers house are many mansions
lie had scarcely read the words whom On od coon sooa
| up and said, ~ tell you, folks shat I've Anow hs
| fsher welt He Ilves fifteen miles from od kontuck,
od log cabin and there ANT but one rco.n IN ins
hour