The Texas Republican. [volume] (Marshall, Tex.) 1849-1869, 1867-08-10

ESANN "sWINu NACHiNE
0ss n ne kisA Inst . man can love,
That WAN 'shswl ssd son hid sssvr
Has ~ asssisst sys and the dsintiest
| fooe a.s
4 ID sposts the ohasninSsst CATER boot
Aud : bonnet With feather, ribbons
And loocs.
And an indefinite number of hoops
One that can dance, and possibly Art
And SAKE . rsddine IA we'll - shirt,
One that san sing wishoss dropping q
And phy the AeusswA,, lady or witch,
Ready 20 gjve us the sssest Ad,ice,
And DO up our sollars and things ~,
We like the sort that can lunrh and
talk, 30 80
And taAe our arm for m evening" walk I;
That will do whatever the ovner nay
choose. rg -l l-L..
With the slightest perceptitls turn Of
The. scrcwa,
''ris the c1cverest thing that ever was
seer,
Our wonderful fsnily sewing mschise
A little man in the wrst Of Mary.
land rushed to the Potomac river,
last summer, swearing that he would
drown hiDsslf, When he lad wa.
ded in to the depth Of his waist, his
wife, who had followed him, seized
him by the hair, and then, as a spec
tator describes il, she led him back
until she hsd reached a place where
the ws.er was about two feet deep,
where she p3sIed hin over back wards,
sousiug his head under, and then
pulling his head up again " Drown
yourself, (dous he went, leaving me
,okesp the children! (auothes plunge
Get drunk (anothcr souse) aud
start for the river II another dip. J
Better use water instead Of rum |!
(anosher dip ard shake Of his head. }
III learn You to leave me = widow y
After sousing him to her hearts cou.
tent, she led him out, 4 wctter IL not
. wiser man, and csccrtine him to
the house; shut tho door.
When tho father of Rcbeka asked
her if she would 80 with the servant
of Isaac, she replied at once, :" l will
go Had she been a daughter Of
the nineteenth century, she would
have answered. "Oh. pahav, IN
with him. Why, Mr., fsa.c must
be sick ? Go with him? or course,
! WON'T" And thcn--shc would
have gone with him -
A young man called at tho City
Clerks o6ce . day or two since and
asked for . death warrant" The
astonishod clerk assured him that be
dealt 10 no such documents. " Wei"
Aid ths fellow, give Us . marriage
Certificate, j amounts r. the same
thing We hope that youth will
catch Tartar.
ITO La EnrD.
I'm gcins to ,. narried--a charming
young girl ''si5 ns7t
To shink ss'hsr sets ny poor brain in
whit col nrIil oil M Il
She hnssp Ersssh asd nusic--talks
ssnaibly, too; tun.e st..s
And makes a good pudding. $500
"a "a 10 you think she viii Do?
8 .a.b s.rf KA1x rs.sr.....
In xoiag to " nasried-s noble young
An veil no knew how my poor heart
-Hs'. skrHk; and clever. and tender.
And vnNs that he loves me-
gg- DO you think he will do ?
The most diAsslt operation in the
practice Of ssseery 10 ss,d to be " ia
king the jaw. eat Of = woman. - The
fellow who saA that must DO IN old
bachelor OF the large, blue ssrt
A kiss, says . French lady, costs
less and grasifes more than anything
else in existence.
A marriage broker advertises,
/" All couples availing themselves OF
the sgcncy Of this ONCE will have
h'ppip e.: guaranteed 70 them for
one year, -'h
A young lady slighting from
stage coach, ribbon fill from her
bonnet into the bottom Of the car
riage. I. You have left your beau
behind, rcm1rked : Indy passenger.
q No, I haven't, he's gone ! fishing"
noceutly exclaimed the damssl
Some fastidious lady sdvertises in
= New York journal for . husband
with Roman nose and religious
tendencies,
The sorrows Of marriage were too
much for = young Gsrmau 10 Terra
IInute, so he hung himself.
A sweet youne lady says that
males are Of NO account from the
time the ladics stop kissing them as
inkahts till they commence kissing
them as lovers.
Josh Billings, In his advice to a
young lady "a to how she should
take = proposal, says " You ought
lev sste Il Kind, looking down hin
with an cxhseaNpn, about half tick
led and han srsst. Amer the pop
10 over n ynst luver wants tcw kiss
Won, I don't THAI I should say yes
or 20. but jes let the nas.er take is
own course.' III 80, t..I
[ A gentleman talking 70 another on
the snject q marriage, made The FOL-
loxiAg observation II arrt saw
nv wife ii 4 tsSrm, carried her 70 >
| bali ID /, storm, courted her In =
storm, lived 10 ! storm al her life
bat, tnnk heaven, ! hsrlsd her in
rHf ~ RIM .go MI. Bodlin--
Who had been out taking . klass and
pips-on going home late borrowed
al umbrella AID when biz wifes
t>ngss W. looss ned, he s.t up in
bed snd saddesly aPssad out biz par
aehute,. :" bat arc yos go,pg .
do Win that thiag said she.
p.Why, ny deai, ! expected . very
I..s,Fs ;.srA !!q,n<n 20 ! cans
Ihore prprsrsa.~ In In thsa tvea-
y .nisssss In Bpdkia va a'lesp'
How GIN. MHAouss WAS
IDacwrxp.- IA spssisi dispatch from
Cissisnati to ~ New York Herald
lesyt; 81" a9lY'sa
a pesssnrsr fron Fort Benton sx-.
pi1fss nov 0sa. MsagAsr vas drown
sjs n ~ ssssgsd ID ! qsafrei o.
tho afsersoou u Tie 1T with N
lIrishu,an Who ~ ipsultsd him
Tho q citemvst ssdtssA y Asvs rss