The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1867-10-03
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

lowing well merited hit:
s'Those fellows who don't take their
home paper, watch them they are al
ways on the alert on publication day, and
when the papers come around to your
place OF business, are the first TO snatch
it up; failing III this, they read it over
your shoulders, too impatient to deniean
themselves III respectable manner. =
Spot these fellows. They are the small
souled, stingy handful, who go through
the world on other folks money.
Why is a newspaper like a wife? Be
cause every man ought to have one OF
his own.
The patient of ;sroot and herb
medicine man got the following prescrip-
ton for bad cold ''Putcher feet
in hot Voter, gotobed and drink a pint
Of loot" The patient brought the eng
the first we'll enough" he said Put
yonr feet IN hot water, go to bed and
drink pint-that is.plain enough. But
what is loot ?" We were embarrassed at
first, but happy inspiration struck me.
-L-oo-t-d0ubIe o--to0-eldcr blow
tea And that turned out to be the ex-
planatIon.
= The Ocean County a. j. Conity
relates the following: In the fall Of
1856, one of our Ocean County cranberry
growers packed several casks OF choice
cranperries aud shipped to some OF his
English friends in Liveriool. In due
time they We're received, and their re-
ceipt acknowledged, saying: That the
o,.a N harriaS bad haao racaiyal and fan-
dered their profound thanks; but they
had spoiled in the transit, as they were
so sour that they could not be eaten ~
A Boston boy, FIVE years of age,
having saelen can of milk. his mother
took him to task with moral suasion, and
wound up her discourse by excIaiming,
What in the world was you going to do
with the milk anyhow? '' Il was going
to steal little dog to drink it, was the
crushing reply.
\ Respondent editor remarks that if
the country grows much worse, he shall
publish the notices Of births under the
head of disasters.
A tradesman presented a bill for the
tenth time to rich si,iufint 1T strikes
lHG SfiitA tiiG 1titti, LhdC THIS II Il ItfCt'y
round bill > ''Yes, replied the trades
man, I've sent it round often enough to
make it appear 50, and have called now
to get IL squared.
A man who 1as brought to King James
|. could eat, it was said, a whole sheep
at meal NV hat else can he do, > ask
ed the king, more than other men?'
: Nothing, was the reply. Hang him,
then. said James, for tbs a pity a man
should live who eats the share of twenty
men, and can do no more than one.
The English Pertinent enacted in l770
that whoever shall impose upon, seduce
AMI betray into matrimony any of his
Majesty 5 male subjects by scents, paints,
cosmetic washes, artificial teeth, false
hair, Spanish wool, iron stays, hoops
high heeled shoes or holstered hins :
should be prosecuted for witchcraf .: d
that the marriage should be null ana
void
1t is stated that half million panes
OF GLASS were broken in Philadelphia by
the hal storm last week
IN the new office of the Philadelphia
i.e3Gg,', lady has charge OF receiving
ali tue advertisements brought by wo-
men.
\ genius living in California made a
nerve and hone a!i-healing SAVE, and
ttuash; lie would NpeTinIentalize little
with It. He first crtt of his dogs tail
ana applied some Of the salye to the
stump. He theu applied some to the
piece of tail which he cut off, and a new
dog grew out lie did not know which
dog was which.
An Illinois editor publishes the follow
ing as the effort of its new reporter =
We are informed that the gentleman
hoo stood on his head under spiledr;yer
for the purpos NV havin tite pair Nv
buteS druv on, shortly afterward found
himself in Chiny, perfectly naked with
out cent in his pocket. He rites that
it his intenshun NY returning home by
the way NV the Paris Exposition.
Poor FELLOW A Western paper
contains the following apology:
THE editor is absent. the foreman had
the toothache, the devil IS drunk and
trying TO drink lager beer out Of a boot
jack, the press is out of order, and we
am Wtil ouiStiNtS So I}iCetSc GACuSG IL
poor paper this week.
There are eight hundred and sixty
journals and periodicals published in Pa
rls.
4 gentleman after having paid his adj
des>es TO "a lady Tor some time. popped
the question. The lady in Il frightened
manner said, y on scare NE sir: :" the
Gentleman did not wish to brighten the
lady, and consequently remained quiet
for some time. when she exclaimed,
scare me again.
"W nat do you mean by cat and-dog
life ~ said husband to his angry wife.
Look at Carlo and Kitty asleep on the
rug together. wish men lived half as
agreeable with their wives ;. Stop,
said his wife, .'tie them together, and see
how they would act.
'Shan't | see you hum from singin
skull tonight, Jerushy 2 Nc you
shant do no such thing; i don t want you
nor your company, Reuben. p raps
you didn' understand what [ sail?'
Yes | did; you asked me if you mighn' t
see me hum. Nv J no / didn't; only
asked you hoe yo1o; naas7a .oas!
a late Honolulu Sandwich islands,
paper contains the following:
'NoTIcE Know all men, who look
upon this. The undersigned hereby for
bids all rumsellers or liquor dealers,
| against giving drink to my married hus-
band, Pelekaluhi, neither4t to give him
the means whereby to ges drink. Who
soever shall disregard or 60 contrary to
this notice, | shall prosecute under the
laws of this country, on due proof Those
| that have ears let them hear-and those
that have eyes let them look.
| BY ne, kALANfIEHUA PALEKALUHI. .