Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1867-05-22
Schools and Sohoolmasters.

| Undt IL WOuIu luG
ment of old Cerberus himself.
| We have lately come into possession OF
the facts of case which transpired some
where In Southeast Missouri that are too
good to go unchronicled.
A certain Knight of the Birchen Rod, =
wishing to obtain a certificate as a school
teacher, as required by the General Statues
of Missouri, called upon the Superintendent
of Public Schools, not long since, when the
following dialogue took place:
Morning, Mr. Superintendent. -
Good morning, sir; take chair.
ou see, Mr., IN schoolin' it out in nay
settlement, and have been fur raisin' fifteen
year, and | want stifhcate to keep dom.
AN right, sir; am ready to grant the
| certificate, but before doing so l must ex
anime you as to your competency.
Now, look here, faint no use fur to
schoOlln 1t ralsin fifteen years.
Yes, sir; that may all be, but the law
requires me to examine you before issuing
the certificate, and [ must do my duty.
Taint no use-I never was zamlned In
this way, and | have a heap of stlthcates,
and gan fetch them in to you"
Never mind the certificates you must
be examined as to your qualifications, or the
certificate cannot issue"
'Well-but it, nary bit of use. L have
been"
Never mind that; what branches do you
teach IN your schOolY'
'sOh, readin, spellin', writin', and fig
germ "
is that all ?''
eyes; the folks out thar don't want any
thing else; They're down on your high
schoolin' -
s'Don't Won teach Grammar -
'Oh, no; the folks are down on grammar
larnin' "
Don't some of your scholars want to
study grammar
Nary one Bout five year ago one of
old man Hemphill's gals tuck a notion to
study grammar, but in bout two weeks she
gin it up. f"
well, it is necessary that you, as teach
er, should have some knowledge of gram
mar, and must examine you in that. y
well now, that S no use; the folks don't
want that kind of iarnin' !"
Very likely but can you tell me how
many parts of speech there areY'
well, now, let me see declare 1t has
slipped my memory, [ don't just recollect.
But, anyhow, grammar Is superhewous.
Can t you give d guess p
swell, / should say about two.
THAT won t do guess again.
We'll, at furdest, [ should say four.
Are you sure p
''Well, as near as I can re-collect, it
mought be and it moughtent.
Now, sir, tell me what is English gram
mar ?''
ish book bout SO long (measuring with his
hand) and bout half inch thick.
did you ever see Kirkham or Pinney ~
;'No, sir they never lived in our settle
ment.
''Do you know anything about Bullion or
Smith p
90, yes; I've hearn tell heap of Old
Bullion, but | never have saw him. | vo
ted fur him onct, but he took the Abolition
chute Afterwards, and [ was powerful sorry
[ voted fur him. As fur Smith, he lives
across the run, bout two miles from my
house. His boys go to school to me. y
Very WE'LL what is geography ?"
Don't use any in my school, but if L |
and they're bout the size of chunk of a
shingle.'
(Which is the largest river in the world?''
1.-The Mississippi, of course ?'
What is the shape of the earth p
''We ell, in our region it S right smart hilly,
but further down it fiat and swampish."
(Which is the highest mountain in the
world ?''
''Pilot Knob
Very we'll Now, sir, you say that in
your school you only teach spelling, reading,
writing and arithmetic?'
''No, sir; don't say | learned 'em rith-
netic; | only learns EN- readin'. spelin',
1ritin' and fggerin' y
Exactly Now, after your scholars have
gone through the spelling books and read
ers, what do you do then p
II turns EN- back.
80 you keep them at the same books all
he time ?''
''Yes, sir; there's nothin like layin the
oundation well. and turn EN- back till they
inishes their schoolin'
Just So Now, sir, it seems to me that
'ou are a little rusty in some OF the branch
IS, and before | can give you a certificate
'ou must study little, and become better
posted -
Now, don't see as [ can, fur I've got
power of work on hand and the old wo
nan has ralsin' on her finger, and John
las bealin on his left foot, which gives
ne more n can see to-, Besides, the peo-
you'd be n ighty pity to keep the children
ut OF school now, fur they're most uncom-
lon bad off fur schoolin' :"
" cry well, L will take the matter under
dvisement, and you can call again in ten
ays
So the native educator departed, not alto /
ether disconsolate The originality of the
nswers of this pedagogue eclipses Shaks-
cares celebrated Sir Hugh Evans, who
smelt false Latin, and overtops the grand {
oquent nonsense displayed in the high
ourt of Mr. Justice Dogberry Gene
ieUe No. Representatives. II