davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-04-24
very Respectfully,
MARX NJ. JONES,
TEMPLE OF Music McGREGoR, Iowa.

When DR.. Dodge, an electric physician,
was lecturing through this state on the
evil Of tea and coffee, he happened to
meet one morning at the breakfast table a
witty son of Erin, of the better class.
Conversation turned to the Doctors favor
lite subject, and he addressed our friend
as follows: Il
SWELL" said the dnc+o-, n:r convince
Won theA s.vy are injurious to your health,
will you abstain from their use p
"Sure and will, SIR"
GLOW often do you use coffee and tea
asked the doctor.
Morning and night, sir.'
"Well," said the doctor, ''do you ever
experience slight dizziness of the brain
upon going to bed ?''
Eyes, indeed do" replied Erin.
"And sharp pain through the temples,
in and about the eyes, in the morning p
asked the doctor.
"Troth do sir.''
SWELL" said the doctor, with an air OF
confidence and assurance in his manner,
"that is the tea and Coffee
SIS it indade Faith, and I'm thankful,
l always thought it was the whiskey did
that same" "a 81
The company roared with laughter, and
the doctor quietly retired.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-04-24

PoRK.-The Gin. Gaz. (if people cannot
cipher out authorizations they should OPP
pose such Members of Congress as who
lately voted some thousands of dollars
"to cultivate the the science of Phono-
typy)-we were saying the Gin. Gaz. has
been amusing itself with Iowa Hog Ship
ments. McGregor is marked none."-
Now, this young aud spunky city docs not
claim to be particularly hoggish; we send
all such swinish "goods across the riv-
er as fast as they arrive, but we want the
world to know that We are supplied from
the country adjacent to us with as many
pounds of live and dead hogs as any of
our sisters who engage in the greasy bust
ness. Burlington claims 16 thousand ;
c. Bluffs ! Dubuque 3; Des Moines II
Keokuk 81; Muscatine 4; Ottumwa II
McGregor none! From the best informa-
ton we can get there were shipped at this
point the last winter no less than thirty
FIVE thousand hogs! Taking the train ar
rivals and transhipments, the number
would fall very little short of $4,000! Al
Lansing there were packed several thou.
sand hogs, and yet Lansing, Clayton City
and Gutenberg are not mentioned at all
by the Gazette wiseacre. Why will PEG.
pie attempt to give statistics when they
know notAing about them?
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-04-24

To the Public.
1t being understood by many of my
friends in McGregor and through the coun-
try, by the notices that have appeared for
several weeks past, that the Temple Of Nu-
sic heretofore doing business, under the
firm name of Jones & Scott, had ceased to
exist, and that had given up the music
business, and was going to leave town,
take pleasure in informing the public in
general and all lovers of music in particu-
lar that the "Temple Of Music still stands
and although Mr.. II. c. Scott has succeeded
in getting his money out of the firm, it
will in no way interfere with my ability
to fill oil orders for Pianos of every make,
style or price, Organs and Melodeons from
the best manufactures in the country
Violins, Guitars, Banjos, Strings, Brass
and small instruments of all kinds furn-
ished here at factory prices, thus saving
freights and the risk in shipping.
! also have the agency for the celebrated
lEtna Sewing Machine, which is fast be-
coming a favorite among the people,
Good agents wanted for the sale of this
machine at liberal discount.
Churches and Lodges and Ministers
furnished with instruments at reduced
rates. =
Thanking the public for their liberal
patronage in the past hope by fair and
honorable dealing to claim liberal share
in the future.
Very Respectfully,
MARK NJ. JONES,
Truprr or Nrerr McGprcop Tour. -
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-04-24
M A ID,

At DEBORAH, on Thursday evening" April 18th 1867,
at the residence Of the brides father by Rev. Mr.
Brindall, Mr.. W. W. STOWE, of Ossan, to Miss II. NJ
VKEELAND.
Accompanying the above notice of the departure of
WALLACE to that bourne whence no bachelor returns
was first-cass, fasized package rial of Heidsick
man whose supreme happiness induced the sending Of
SO luxurious present. We always conclude that
bridegroom is content with his "bargain" If he sends
the printer tangible evidence of the fact and In
this know Ossian friend IL on the very top
round of glory's ladder.
The TINES 01icc, and tho numerous McGregor
friends of the late leader of the Band here tender
their warmest congratulations to Mr. and Mrs. STOWE.
At ConOver, Iowa, on Friday the 10th Of April, Mr..
JOHN FLEMING of McGregor, to Miss SARAH
d. COWLES, Of Lansing.
At the same time and place, Mr.. Il. MACK, of Saint
Joseph, Mo-, to Miss JANE FLEMMING, of Joliet,
Illinois.
81 No Cards.
These notices came to through the hands of Cap
tain Will Flemming Of McGregor, the brother Of the
aforementioned bridegroom and Of the second mem
toned bride. CAP, though q bachelor, is q tender
hearted man, and he looks wonderfully sad these
solemn events. "Jack' will longer be his sleeping
partner, and the sister will longer regard him as
"irst among ten thousand &c, &c. We sorry for
"Will," but the TINES Office had pleasant little
jubilee in honor of the above events, rather
pleased that the interesting affair off. Our best
wishes!
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-04-24

The Lecture by Mrs. Alexander, of Fay
cite, for the benefit of the McGregor Char
table Association, was read last evening by
Miss JENNIE CALKINs. The evening was
dark, rainy, and muddy, the audience was
not large, but it was a highly appreciative
one.
1t has seldom been our fortune to listen
to better lecture or more accomplished
reader. This is not only our opinion, but
the general expression.
On motion of Col Merrill, a vote of
thanks was rendered Mrs. Alexander for
the Lecture. On motion of Hon. Geo. L.
Bass, the fair young reader also received
vote of thanks. As this was the last
lecture of the season, it was suggested
that the Committee on Charity would pre-
pare for publication in the newspapers of
the city history Of the receipts and the
payments Of the Committee. Some 800
dollars have. been received, and the treasury
is empty.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-04-24

Enigmas.
These curiosities are becoming popular
if not readable. The following one is q
sumner" 1t was composed" by
"Mark Twain" the Artemus Ward of
England. An answer is requested. Judge
Edmonds, of the Clermont Leader will
probably cipher it out-ARMsrRoNG nor
MEDARY, of the Lansing papers, will not
dare attempt its solution:
am composed of Is or II letters.
My l6, IA, 3, 4, 6, 7, 10, is something or
other in general way.
My 2, IL, 7, IA, is something else.
My 9, 6, 4, 10, Is, is the other thing.
Ny 6, l6, 8, IA, 8, 2, l, II, is most any
thing.
Ny 5, 3, 9, IA, I, 81, II, 5, 6, le, 2, 10,
is most anything else.
My 4, 2, l6, 9, is good deal like some
of the things referred to above, though in
what respect it has bafled even me to de-
! termine.
My 9, 8, s, II, is-is-well, suppose it
is, although cannot see why.
| Now, if anybody can cipher out this en-.
| igma, he is an bier man than / am, not.
withstanding got it up myself. 1t would
be real favor if some one would try, how
however. l have figured at it, and worked
at it, and sweated over it, until ! am dis
! gusted, and can make neither head mol
tail to it. thought it was rather neat al
first, but do not like it SO well, now that
l can not find out the answer to it. II
looks rather easy at first glance, but you
will notice that the further YOU get into i
| the more it widens out.
This is my first effort in the enigma line
and, to speak the plain truth, am consid
erably stunned at my own success. dc
not seem to have just got the hang of thi'
sort of thing. But offer the entertaining
little trile to your readers for what it il
worth-it may serve to amuse an idle veal
and it cannot do much more HARM
cannot more than drive a man mad, anG
make him massacre his relations.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-04-24

The confirmation of Major General.If
ron as marshal of Louisina. is triumph
on the part of the president and the con-
sentative element in congress. General
Heron is republican, but has always
been conservative one. He fought his
way from captaincy to major general
ship; but during all the years Of the war
he never struck a blow for "God and hui
manity," but always and purely for the
union.
1t is an appointment which will give
satisfaction, in Louisiana, to all parties
except the extreme negropholist. His sue
cess is the triumph of decency and con-
seryatism over fanaticism and the rufian.
ism which have long prevailed in Louis.
lana.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-04-24

GoLD.-ILas certainly been found upon
the farm of VIM. Wells, about one mile
southwest of town. A company of 10 or
20 Of our citizens, among whom were 2 or
3 old Californians, went out to the ''gold
regions Tuesday morning prospecting
They report that almost every painful of
dirt reveals the presence of gold, and we
were shown a piece of pure gold washed
out by the party which is probably Of the
value of some Is or 20 cents, also a spcci-
men of quartz bearing rock with gold
plainly discoverable in it.
There can no longer be any question in
regard to there being gold upon Mr.. Wells
farm. The only question yet to be solved
is, whether it will be found in quantities
sufficient TO repay mining. We hope the
matter will be thoroughly investigated,
and that the swortby pioneer and patron OF
our town, Mr.. Wells, will reap rich har-
vest of gold.-Fayette Union.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-04-24

"MAKE HOME BEAUTIFUL !'-The
time is about at hand when persons
who expect to ornament their yards
or the sidewalks in front of their bull
dings can begin at least to think about
what varietiest they shall choose. The
forest will give you some very beautl-
full trees at but little expense. The
Cottonwood, the Soft Maple, the Black
and White Walnut, are all easily trans
planted, bear the change well, and
grow rapidly. The Lombardy Popu-
lar has got pretty well scattered over
the State, and as it grows rapidly and
surely from the cuttings, which can be
obtained from most any farm, is very
accessible and makes very rapid growth
and is handsome tree. Every person
who owns lot should adOrn it. Ii
it has no house upon it now-put out
the'trees anyhow so thatit will be all the
more beautiful when the little amount
at the savings bank has grown large
enough to embolden you towards build
ing home of your own. A cottage,
nesting among trees, has more home
like and inviting appearance, and is of
far greater attractiveness than several
thousand brick piled up in four bold
walls out in the glazing sun and
shade tree that throws grateful shade
over the pedestrian as he passes your
door, will be clear index for him to
read and show that there lives people
of sense and lovers of the beautiful.
Local State Register.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-04-24

The premium printing house, otherwise
known as the NORTH Iowa TINES, has laid
US under special obligation for copy of a
"a page pamphlet descriptive of the wares
of that other premium house widely and
favorably known as the Agricultural Ware
House Of S. & II. Ruble, North McGregor.
We congratulate you, Henry, as having a
job worthy Of your excellent House, and
you, and Col, John as having the credit of
the job.--Nesc Oregon Plaindealer,
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-04-24

Bulls HEAD, CLAYTON Co., Iowa,
April I'd, 1867.
We, the citizens Of Bulls Head and vi
cinity, have witnessed the method of Prof.
Sparks in handling wild and vicious horses,
and recommend him to the public as one
of the best Horse Tanners in the United
States at the present time, hoping the pub
lie will patronize, rs it is to the interest Of
all persons dealing in or using horses:
VIM. II. Harding, Hotel Keeper; Maj.
A. j. Fallowdown, Stage Agent; James
McAlvin. NJ. D.; John McGrady, Farmer
James McGrady, Dr.; VIM. Sparks, Farm
or: VIM. Hitsel, Farmer A. Flick, Farm
er; Peter Farley, Farmer; Daniel F.
Bickel, Butcher; Solomon Steele, Justice
of the Peace Leonard A. Clark, Farmer.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-04-24

The Indianapolis Journal of the 9th
relates the following:
A friend gives us the account of
most terrible case of burial alive of
handsome young lady at Jacksonville,
Illinois. Sometime last summer a
young lady seventeen years of age,
suffering with the toothache, went to
bed with small phial of chloroform
for the purpose of quieting her teeth.
In the morning she was found, to all
appear s.ii.Y, uca.u, " 1Aiola conf
ed by the opinions of several physi-
clans who were called and examined
her body. She was then buried. A
few days since her relatives were about
to remove from Jacksonville, having
located in an other state, and had the
remains of the young lady exhumed,
for the purpose of taking them to their
new home. Curiosity prompted the
opening of the coffin, when they were
horror-stricken on finding the corpse
turned over, both hands full of hair,
and her clothing torn to shreds, reveal
ing the horrible truth that the young la
dy had been buried alive.-The chlor-
oform had placed her in deep trance,
the awakening from which was in her
coffin and grave. The lady was en-
gagged to be married at the time of her
supposed death. A more heart-sicken-
ing case we never remember to have
read or heard of.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-04-24

"KENo. I've have heard a great
many good ones concerning the "little"
game of keno, but the following will
pass with any of them. Those who
are posted do not need to be told where
the "laugh comes in AN honest
and unsophisticated Teuton, who is
dilligent searcher after truth, made
the following pertinent inquiry of a
friend :-"Vat ish dat lettle games ven
all der fellers set round NIT their dables
und put buttons vE dc Lo,tci,ossi Il cards
nit tiggers on EN-, und don't say some
dings already; und den by und by one
fellers he say, 'Genoo, und den all dem
odder fellers say, oh h-l!,?"
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-04-24

EARLY FLowERs.-A friend, of the Floral
persuasion, gathered, a few days since, a
beautiful little boquet of early wild flowers
they hurt him so bad that he sat down and
wrote the following lines which we hap
pened to see and which somebody appro.
priated from his desk
From the hillside plucked were these,
In purity they blossomed there,
Near by group Of linden trees
Kissed by the morning air.
Natures earliest pets Of Spring
Their tender petals they unfold
Before the bee, on busy wing,
IL wont to quit its quiet hold.
April blossoms fade in May,
Our MAxER willed II thus to be,
Alike all nature fades away
And in our turn we soon shall "dss."
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-04-24
A lady writer most truthfully pens the

A lady writer most truthfully pens the
following paragraph:
1t is unfair to censure woman for her
desire to please, for to do SO she must cul-
tivate all her loveable qualities. Perhaps
there is such thing as carrying coquetry
so far as to desire to be good in order to he
loved. A woman's desire to please, how
ever, is by no meanes coquetry, for it is
the basis Of her chance to rule. Author
ity she has none, except what comes to
her through her power over this or that
heart.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-04-24

The following is one of series of res
olutions offered by Mr. Sumner in congress
in 1865:
And be it further resolved, that gov
eminent founded on military power, or
having its origin in military orders, cannot
be a republican form of government, accor-
ding to the requirements of the constitu-
ton and that its recognition will be con-
trary not only to the constitution, but also
that essential principle of our government,
which, in the language of Jefferson, estab-
fishes ''the supremacy of the civil over the
military authority
The senator changed his mind, it ap.
pears, about the time the meeting bill
was being cooked up for the benefit of ten
states of this union.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-04-24

PEACE.-In late issue we referred to q
prospective war between HAIsLErr, of the
DEBORAH Register, and Billuem Townsend,
of ''old clothes'' notoriety. BY the follow
ing Register remarks we judge the war is
over. We do not wish to obtrude but at
the same time we would willingly act as
second when these two cusscs have
another settlement!
Townsend was here on Saturday last
as good natured as ever and good deal
better dressed than heretofore. There
were other marked improvements in his
appearance he was dressed in span-fred
new suit; HIS whiskers were properly
combed out, his hair dressed, boots black
cd, de-; in fact, locking more like starch
ed up minister Or a Philadelphia lawyer
than anything we can think of.
Believing that our remarks were benefi.
cial to him and that hereafter he will de.
port himself better in our presence we shall
always welcome him and all other good
natured men to our sanctum.
In referring to IIAIsLETT, we are con.
strained to give little of his serio-comico
-infantico nonsense. GEORGE is pretty
boy though somewhat unlucky in the cam.
phor business
OUn BABY.-Many inquiries are made by
our friends about our new baby and it may
be necessary to biograph the infant, briefly
John Phoenix was in the same predicament
and we shall give his language. whisl. IL
somewhat after the e~-.~.sstyie OF the day
.Toh., Anows all about these things he
says
It's girl"
She's buster.'
Weighs nine pounds and quarter, and
the old woman tells US she will grow heavier
as her weight increases.
She's the first girl of which he have lately
been proprietor aud of course is the 0nl,
baby in town!
The old woman before mentioned declares
her the very image of her ma but in JUS
tice to the infant we must say we think her
an improvement on the original world
of progress you know.
This young American is as old as could
be expected, considering the time she wa.
born, and will doubtless be too smart fol
her mother in few years, if she has gooe
luck.
She is quite reticent on politics and only
wants to be let alone.
She thinks she fayors Mrs. Winslow'.
policy.
We havn't named her vet we want t.
give her a distinguished cognomen, bu
the fame of our great women is at presen
so precarious that we don't like the risk.
tits perhaps necessary to say, as all bi
ographcrs do of distinguished personages
that the subject Of this sketch was born O
respectable parents"
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-04-24
THE FIRST MORTGAGE BONDS


Of this Company afford unusual Inducements Of Safe
ty and Profit to Investors for the following among
other reasons, viz:
LIST. The rate of interest is six per cent IN GOLD,
payable semi annually in the City of New York.
Cd. The PRINCIPAL. is payable IN GOLD at ma
turity.
Sd. The cost of the Bonds Ninety-Five Per Cent,
and accrued interest, is TEN PEk CENT. LESS
than that of the cheapest Six Per Cent. Gold
Bearing Bonds Of the Government.
4th. The UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT pro-
vides nearly half the amount necessary to build
the entire road and looks mainly to small per-
centage on the future traffic for repayment.
9Th Owing this liberal provision. accompanied
with Extensive Grants of Public Lands, by which
the Government fosters this great national enter
prise its success il rendered certain and it's nan-
ca stability is altogether Independent of the con-
tngencics which attend ordinary Railroad enter
Friscs.
9th. The security of it's First MORGAGE BONDS
is therefore ample and their character for safety
and reliability is equaled only by that Of the OBJ
legations of the Government itself.
9TH. the net earnings Of the completed portion
already largely in Of the interest obliga-
distance, and are steadily increasing, rendering
the uninterrupted payment Of the Interest abSo-
lutely certain.
9th. AT the present rate Of Gold they pay nearly
EIGHr-AND-A-HALF PER CENT. per annum,
on the amount invested
The Bonds issued in denominations of 81 00o
with semannual Gold Coupons attached. payable in
New York, and offered for the present at 05 per
cent and accrued interest lin currency from Janua
ry LIST
Orders may be forwarded to us direct, or through
the principal Banks and Bankers in all parts Of the
country.
Remittances may be made in drafts Ct New York,
in Legal Tender Notes. National Bank Notes. or in
other funds in this city, and the Bonds will be
Inquiries for further particulars, by mail other
wise, will receive punctual attention.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-04-24
The Postum.

| Vhe POssums
Properly this funny little fght-less chick
en-thief of the central and southern state
spells his name Opossum, but those famil
lar with the tribe call him possum, ant
that is name enough. We know all abou
them; their ways; their cunning; how
hard they are to kill how hypocritically
they will lay over and die lin horny wher
you strike them with stick how quick
they will recover if they see no one near
and climb q "sappling" out of you,
reach how nice a roast they make with
corn-bread accompaniment, &C., &c. &C.
You can kill possum by chopping his
head off, or, to speak like doctor We
should probably say, sevcring the spinal
marrow it's all the same to the possum
what the name is, either of these "reme.
dies will kill him sure.
A friend of ours, and good one too. or
we guess badly, has lately had chat with
our " colored BROTHER LOU, Of the
Sleepier or Flanders House, and among
other subjects of interest the sncakine ami
mal-rascal whose name captions this article
comes in for remark or two. 1t must be
remembered that Lou. is one of the best of
men, but he has not lost the I" brotue I"
of the Mississippi country yet. Thu late
war turned him away from his Masa be-
fore he had opportunity to change hi, dia-
tect to the ,chite standard but no natter
for that, he is faithful porter at the Elan
ders, and in detailing southern life be is
quite interesting. He says to Doclss |!
:" Well, sab, l tells you bout dit ar
possum. You goes out wild some oder
niggas wen de moon am shinin' mighty
bright. You looks in de top oh de little
cypress or de simmon trees dab you see
de possum hangin' to limb by de tall
You gwine to shake dat possum off? No
sab! Dat tree broke fust. Climb dat TREE
an pull dat possum of. Now how you
gwine to kill him? Kin you poun' him to
def? No sab You kin poun' all day an
den leaf him an wen you come to fine him
dat possum is clean done gone an up an
oder tree! Dis am fack. But you get o
nigga to kill him: he take strong stick,
put him across de possum's neck, put his
feet on de ends oh de stick, an den he takes
de hind legs an jerk his neck-broke den
he 80 dead. Now you put some hot ashes
on him an clean him +; put him de pot an
let him bile some, an den put in some
taters an den let him bile noah, an oh,
Dress you, Doc, de smell wat comes from
dat ar pot set cherry nigga to singin' wat am
on de plantatation."
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-04-24

GEocRAPHY.-Jeddo. or Yeddo, the cap
ital of Japan. used to beput down in the
as tho largest city in the
world, but it did not appear how the infor-
nation as to It's population was obtained,
nor, in fact, that trustworthy census Of
the city was ever taken, OF late years it
is generally conceded that London is not
only the richest but the largest city on the
globe. Its population erceeds three mil
long BY actual and trustworthy count.