Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1867-06-22
Rules for Counting.

The following good advice On the above
SUBJECTS from The pen Of John Quill,
who seems to have had rather bllssiul
experience in relation 10 such matters
1. Never GO courling the girls parents.
You'd better edge up In the charmer her
self al once; for you can't marry her II
you don't Try. unless she wants you, and
you may be able 10. even if the old folks
are hard on you.
2. By all means get the girls ma down
on you as much as possible. II The old
lady is slways blowing against you, the
little deSr begins TO take your Parl, and
can, help loving you.
Idd this way, and my present mother
in.law used 10 throw brooms and wash
boards a, me, and teach the dog 10 bite
me in the trousers as cllmed over the
fence.
N. B.-She's got over it now, and
lives a, my house without paying BOARD.
II remorse testers in her soul in conse-
quence OF her conduct, however, l haven't
noticed il yet.
3. If you see any other fellows prowl.
ing about, always euchre them if you can.
II you see one Of them buy tickets for the
opera. 90 right up and make an engage
ment with the girl. and ge, your tickets
afterwards; and when they visit the house
always scl as if you were al home and
they were only visitors, and never leave
first.
always did this and have frequently
ga, unil daybresk, while the lair one
snored away on the sofa. You can't bluff
me. No. sir. hs! hs! guess not. /
would have been there yet If The fellow
had stayed.
A. II the old man has worldly wealth,
express dislike TO greenbacks, and a
hankering after love in small house.
5. When you inquire if she will have
you, don't fall on your knees--l's ridlcu-
lous, besides being rough on trousers
Just take her hand and speak ouI like a
man.
6. When yon are engaged, don't 60 of
like an old jack, and begi in buying tea.
spoons, and washbollers and candles. i,
is very unwise and exciles comment.
Why Irecolecl, was so glad that |
went right off and purchased baby jun.
per and agum ring. 1t was long while
ere hose things were necessary. and The
baby jumper had shrunk so that when we
put the first of the liule QullIs into it. it
Suddenly jerked up, and came lrightfully
near bs,iering the devoted child's brains
out against the ceiling, while The gum
ring. having been kept in box with
cock roach poison, threw the baby into
ils, and he (ii was boy) had spasms in
The crib for four days.
7. II girl refuses you don't give it mp
but try i, again. Because two negatives
make an affirmative in grammer. howev-
er, don't think yourself accepted when
girl jils you twice. asked one female
forty .one times, and a, last she got TO ex-
pect whenever came, and sometimes
would boiler out Nor from the top of
the stairs before go, fairly in The house.
8. Kiss all The lille children in house
even j: they are dirty, and do smear mo-
issses candy in your hair. Let the boy
play hoIse with YOU and make fool OF
you generally. 1t is trump card il YOU
play it right.
9 And finally, if there are two sisters.
and the old one is jealous. get some one
to choke her off while you go in for The
younger.
did that orce, and used 10 get my
friends 10 ask I, g senior girl out every
evening; but she found me out and used
to arrange hair pains in the sofa cushions
before she went out, so that ii was ex-
uemely uncomfortable.
If any further information is wanted.
send me letter enclosing stamp (hfty
cents and | will cbeerluIly give it gratis.