The Portland daily press., 1867-10-23
Varieties.


the Queen has appointed her giIlie, john
Brown, to be her vieeroy of the Dominion.
The presidents and directors of all the
New Jersey railroads have voted to reduce
their fares to the regular rate of two centsper
mile
-Forney has discontinued the publication Oi
his Sunday papers in Washington and Phiia-
delphia
The Superior Court of Massachusetts, has
fined e. A. Arey, OF Chelsea, 300 for spanking
the son of his neighbor, G. f. Cooney. 1t was
alleged that heart disease was induced by tho
punishment.
During the visit of Sheridan to Lowell, am
Irishman who saw him in company with But
Ter exclaimed: "There's Five Forks and the
Lord only knows how many spoonsP'
Only three American Presidents have hat
middle names. Another curious fact is that
in no less than eight cases their names have
terminated either really etymolosically Ia
the word ''son."
The Helena (Arkansas) Clarion says that
it win not be many months till thousands OF
coolies will be introduced into the State.
The Richmond Dispatch learns from un-
questioned authority that that there are four
teen thousand discharged soldiers now at
work, mostly on farms in Virginia
The following is Sidney Smiths idea Of
the proprieties of kissing: "We are in favor OF
certain amount of shyness when kiss -
proposed; but it should not be too long; and
when the fair one gives il, let it be admins
tered with warmth and energy; let there be a
soul in it. II she close her eyes and sigh inn
mediately after it, the effect is greater. She
should be careful not TO slobber kiss, but give
it as humming bird runs his bill into honey
suckle-deep, bnt delicate. There is much
virtue in a kiss when well delivered We have
the memory of one we received in our youth,
which lasted us forty years, and we believe it
will be one of the last things we shall think of
when we die
Punch continues the caricatures of the
Pan Anglicans, and in his last cartoon repre-
sents himself bringing bundle of soiled clotl.-
ing marked "Colenso," "Ritualism, . Ration
alism," etc, to a party of washerwomen, WHO
exelaim in chorus, "Therel take 'em away
we can't be Worried with them thingsP' The
washerwomen are bishops wearing mob cal
and the Episcopal robes.
"A man old enough to know better went
into the inelosure in front of the bear-pit iil
the London Geological Garden, and teazed ono
OF the bears. The result was that Rruin
caught the right arm of the man in his laws.
after having first taken piece out OF tie
shoulder of his coat, and was begnning To
operate with his teeth, when a cry was raised
and keeper ran to the spot, aud by vigorous-
ly hitting the MimaPs jaws with stick, man
aged to release its victim.
-Bierstadt's Domes OF the Yo-Semite real-
lied its owner $4 900 in Boston while ON exhi-
bition
Judge Buekncr, OF Kentucky, aged sixty
five, fell in love with woman aged nineteen.
and shot himself because he couldn't get her.
Rash youthi
The City Council of Atlanta, Georgia, has
by vote of six to four, appropriated ten acres
within the corporate limits as spot for tho
erection of a monument to Abraham Lincolr.
DR. Langdon, of Longview Asylum, in
Cincinnati, allows poor woman, crazed by "a
disappointment in love, to walk about the
streets one day in the week. She is called tho
woman in White" from her peculiar bridal
dress.
"A most extraordinary matrimonial ar
rangement has lately been consummated in
Chicago. The bare announcement of "Mar-
ried on the = inst, by the Rev. Mr.-.a at
the residence of the father of the three brides
Mr.. Frank Ulbrieh TO Miss Barbara Schnur:
also, Mr.. Augustus Ulbrich to Miss Mary
Schnur; also, Mr.. Henry W. UIbrich 10 Mi,
Elizabeth Schnur," would tell nearly the who'll,
story, the only really necessary additional in
formation being that the three bridegrooms ara
brothers, that the happy brides are sisters. and
that, in both instances, il finished up the f,mi-
ly. 1t is literally the marriage of two entire
families. The three Ulbrichs are all thrifty
yonng Inen representing as many different
trades, and the trio of daughters Were eomek.
and reared to habits of industry and fruqaIitv.
1t was an economical arrangement, TINS WOO
ing and marrying at wholesale; great sayin.
in lights, fuel, and the expenses of the we'd
ding festivities was effected. big
"A man who won turkey at rafie, and
whose pious wife was very inquisitive about;
the method of obtaining the poultry, satisfied
her at last by the remark that the @Shakers''
gave it to him. r5I
John Tyler, Jr., son of the President, il
going to sue Forney for calling him IA double
distilled traitor" Forney will have to produce
fourth proof to justify
AS ah eFIuehee Oh ehe great number OF vi
Pers III france sis stated that single depart
heht pad I'9oo rancs for the destruction ot
o9,0e4 Vlpers III 1865
"A horticulturist advertised that he woulI
supply all sorts OF fruit trees and plants eS-
pecialiy pie plants OF all kinds. A gentleman
thereupon sent him an order for one package
of custard pie seed, and dozen mince PIE
plants. The gentleman promptly filled the or
aer Dy sendlng MN ionr goose eggs and small
uoS'
'o"o hi'i.'io'h ~ ooieses received on
n'' 'no past year, 10 the amount
u @''o'ioo. narVaru received SiOOOOO5
lui.s' Soooooo, Aaie' S2oooVo' ana Cornell
ohiverSi'y' y' %'oo'ooo'
nat shape Is KISS Eiiptical Ia lp
t'eele)'
A newspaper correspondent writing iroia
Chicaso' says; "A note OF complaint comes
rom our farmers' VINO nave been unable TO
piow ana 70 put IN thelr iali gram. The lont-
Garth ~ snch an cxtent as ~ rsa;tr ,>Io,rn'
impraeticable The fall Grass b,s f,;iad a,,5
vegetation peneraIlv nresents a val,o,v naIon-
eboly. burnt annearanca We have NOT bot
one-tbird of The usual ouontitv of rain sinoo,
Iast Nov NOW
"a -. A.. ...,.,,..,. e,,..,....e.,.
A5 viz " eie TENT