Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1867-02-16
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TRASH.


| A--~
| When a man Gums to the kon.
klusion that he would like to
heimasihes 'tthlHt he ha E beeG
wronged, and sends hiz best
friend challenge 10 fite a dew
ell ; tina meet, and an elegant
murder is committed; the cracks
in this transaction are puttyed
Up, and then vanished over, 6
being called can affair ~ hon.
or"
When a man robs a, savings
bank, or goes to urope on. the
last steamer, with the stolen re.
seipts ov a 4 sanitary kommittee
in his pocket, q kommittee ov
investigashun are got together
to examine the staff ov affairs,
and unanimously report "a dis
krepansy in his akounts.
2 young men hire a boss and
buggy at a livri stable, and 60
into the kuntry on Sunda. Tina
stop Of the fust tavern tina meet,
and invest in some ardent speer-
its. The more tina histe in, the
more tina drive, till bi and bi a
devilish bridge tips them over
into a devnish gutter that sum-
body haz left by the side ov the
road, and tina are all killed, in
clooding the horse and the bug
gy. This is called a Fatal
acl<siden." go, ,~., .. 20. ...
K man and his wife are divim
in the middle of joy and conso-
lashun, tina are rounded on
awl sides by yumg and inter-
csting iamilee, their bread IL cut
thin, and buttcrcd on both sides
and the edges, but the destroyer
enters the family, the wife wants
a MI silk gown, the man SEE he
"bc did .if she dnz," and she
''bc id if she don't, One word
brings ON another, till tina litc,
both of them'tlose awl tteir. hair
in their heads, and ? full sets of
false teeth, the thing ends in /.
divorce, the man runs ava tcw
T u>tralia bi the, ovcrhnd route,
the woman marries a cirk rs RI
der at 40 Dollars a month, the
children are adopted bi sum sun
da school, and are brought up on
homeopathy. This furnishes a
collum and a half 10 the news
paper, Under the he'd of dis
turbance of the married relation"
A youth Of ~ Summers begins
life with 36 thousand dollar
Several hosses belong tow him,
there are several fast wimmcn
that he belongs tcw, and the
tavern keepers are his patrons,
Iar6 blanks arc crecfed for his
amusement, consolidated lottcr-
les are chartered on purpos to
make him happce; nothing is
left undun tcw make him feel
gpods IL: wakes up about The
18th of next May, without a dol
lar in his pocket, and Il host of
warm. friends on his hands, with
out any visible. means OF sup
porting them. He talks an ak
kount of stock, he buys a pint
ov rum and 4 yards of bed cord,
the one makes him Timber while
the other makes him stiff: The
putty and varnish in this kase
IL: ''Driven to dcsperashun on
account of fnanshul pressure.
60, "A rale rode trane stands snor-
TIN in front ov the depoe, the
last bell IL ringin, the kars are
full ov souls that belong tew
different individuals, the kon.
ductor is full of Bourbon, that
belongs tew the devil, the engi.
neer labors under an attak OF
Jamaka for the broketis, the
switchman likes a leetle good
old rye, the kars diskount forty
five miles an hour, tew francs
tri tew pass each other OH the
same track, it can't be did sue.
cesstully; the mangled and ded
are kounted hi skores, n search.
ing investigation takes phase, the
community IL satisfied, because
it was an unavoidable katastro.
phe. The devil furnishes putty
and varnish, free ov expense. te
hide the fraud and guilt ov men