Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1867-11-23
HOW SUIT LOVENG00D EX.
PL0DED.
His Experience with Soda
Powders.

did you ever see Sicily Burmese Her
dad lives at the Retail Snaik Springs,
nigh to the Georgy line"
Yes; very handsome girl.
Handsomel that word don't kiver
the case. 1t sounds like calm good
whisky water, when ye ar at Big Springs
and the still house ten miles off, and hit
rainin' and yer flask only half full.
She shows among women like sunhower
as compared to dog fenel, and smart
weed to jimsin. But thar aint no use in
tryin' to describe her-could crawl thru a
whisky barrel with both heads stove out,
if hit wer hilt study fer her, and good foot
holt at that. She was just two hundred
and twenty six pounds, and stands six
teen hands high. She never got in an
arm cheer in her life, and yer can lock
the top NV churn ur big dog collar
round her waist. I've seed her jump over
the top NV split bottom cheer and never
show her ankle or ketch her dress onto
it, She keried devel enuf about her to
fill a four hoss wagon bed, with skin as
white as the inside NV a frogstool, cheeks
and lips as red as pearch's gills in dog.
wood blossom time; an sich a smile Oh,
/ be drafted ef its eny use in talkin. That
gal could murder ole Bishop Soul him
self, or kill nam, not to speak of dad, ei
she jist limited that she whnted sich
thing dun.
Well, to tell at onst, she war gal all
over, from the pint NV her toe nail tn the
longest har on the highest knob Nv her
head-gal all the time, everywhere-and
that NV the eXcitinst kind. Ov corse |
leaned up to her as close as dar tn, an
in spite Nv long legs, appetite for whisky,
my shurt scrape, an dads actin hoss,
she sorter leaned up to me, an | was be.
ginnin tn think | war the greatest and
comfortablst man on yeath, not exceptin
Ole Buck or Brigham Young, with all
his radish cullercd, wrinkled women,
cradles full of babies, and big Salt Lake
throwed in. Well, wun day a cussed
deceivin, palaverin Yankee peddler, all
jack knife an jaw, cum tu ole man
Burnes with load Nv apple parins,
calliker, ribbins, jew.shops, and sody
powders. Now mind, I'd never heerd NV
that truck aiore, an | be burned eff |
don want it to be the last-wuss nor
rife powder-wuss nor purcussion-three
times as smart aud hurt wuss, heap wuss.
Durn him. Durn all Yankee peddlers,
and durn their principals and practicis,
| say wish | had all the sody powders
they ever make in his cussed paunch,
and a slow match fixed to him, and l had
a chunk NV fire, the feller what found
piece of him big enuf tn feed a cock
roach ought tn be King NV the Saliem's
Harem a thousand years for his luck.
They aint human no how. The mint at
Philadelfy is thar heaven; they think
their God eats half dimes far breakfast,
hashes the levins for dinner, an swallows
a cent on dried april fur supper, sets
on a stsmpin machine fur throne,
sleeps on a Grip full NV half dollars, and
measures men like money by count
They aint wun NV EN- got a soul but what
cud dance jig in cabbage seed, and
leav room for the fiddler.
Well, Sicily bought ia in box Nv the
sody from him, and hid it away from her
folks savin it for me. Mapped to pass
next day, nv corse stopped to enjoy
look at the tempter, and she wur mighty
luvin to me, put one arm round my neck
and luther wun whsr the crcingle goes
round boss, tuck the inturn on me with
her left fut and gin me a kiss. Says
she:
"Sutty, luv, luv, I've got something
fur We, a new sensation | believed
it, fur | began to feel it already. My
toes felt like little minners wur niblin
at em-a cold streak runnin up and |
down my back like a lizzard with a
turkey hen after him in settin time, my
heart felt hot an onsatisfied like and |
then I'd a cut old Souls throat ef she'd |
limited the needsiSsity fur sich an opera
shun. Then she pored ten or twelve
blue papers ov the sody ipter big tum-
bier, and about the same number NV
white wuns inter luther tumbler, an put |
onto pint NV water on both NV EN- an |
stirred EN- both up with a case knife, |
looking as solemn as ole jackass in !
snow storm when the iodders all gin out. !
She hilt wun while she told me tn drink |
luther. l swallowed it at wun run
tasted salty like, thot it war part Nv
the sensashun But | wur mistaken, all |
NV the cussed sensashua wur tu come,
and it wern't long at it, you'd believe
me. Then | sent it after the last, the /
race boss fashion
In about wun moment an half thot
! swallowed a thrashin machine in full
blast ur cupple Nv bull dogs, and they
had sot inter fitin. | seed that | wur
cotched agin-same family dispersition
to make cussed fools nv 'em every
broke fur my hoss. / stole
a look back, an thar Sicily lay on her
back in the porch a screamin with latin,
Der heels up in the air kickin NV EN-,
together like she wur tryin to kick her
slippers of. But had no time tn look
then and thar war road of foam from
the hous to the boss two feet wide an four
inches deep-looked like it had been a
5nowin- -poppin, an hissin, and bilin,
like tub NV hot soap suds. | he'd geth.
cred n cherrytree lin as | run, and lit
astraddle of my boss, whippin an
kickin like mad. This, with the skeery
noises made (fur l wur whislin an a
lissin an a sputterin outer mouth, nose
IN eyes, like a steam engine) sot him a
rain an covortin like he wur out NV his
sinses. Well, he went. The foam
rolled and the ole black hoss flew. He
list mizzled-skeered nj tn deth, an so
Tur l. So we agreed on the pint Nv the
greatest distance in the smallest time.
-. g. noogor Coodr,anfo ~ tho HI ,