The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1867-01-17
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[Translated from the Psris figaro.r III
Loxpos, August /, 1866 Meridian.
Dear Jonothaa-I wish to marry The
English girls don't please me. Hunt up an
American beauty to my taste. JOHN.
New YORK. 122 p. m.
Dear John--I have found exactly youf
match-blue eyes, teeth Of pearl, ebon hair.
tall and voluptuous--trained TO economy and
order She's treasure. JONATHAN.
LONDON, l p. m.
have every confidence in your judgment,
and give you plenary power to negotiate. .
JoHN.
New YoRx, 2 p. N.
/ have spoken in your praise-she would
be delighted to marry such a man, but first
she says she must see you, at least IN NINA
ture. JONATHAN.
LONDON, p p. m.
cass safa apparatus to the cable. Herewith
please find my portrait. JOHN.
New York, 8 p. m.
Your features are admired. The marriage
is agreed to. Herewith, by the same process,
is the picture of your intended, Miss Jenny.
JONATHAN.
LONDON, 81 p. m.
adorable Jenny-The instant my eyes fell
upon your charming face, my heart surren>
dered. Can it be that you consent to make
me happy? JoHx.
NEw YoRK, p. m.
| do consent, dear Mr.. John, and admit
that you have made ia favorable impression.
JENNY.
LONDON, At pm.
To joadfidn-Invest insanter ten thou
sand pounds in the finest jewelry TO be had in
4 "a al. l..
ty, in my name, ito Jenny. o my dear Jen-
ny-accept these presents as proof of my
love. The sparkles they send forth are fee
Bile in comparison to the flames which con.
sumo my heart. JOIN.
NEw YoRK, 81 p. m.
Dear Jehn-How grateful | am for your
noble gift Well did you know the way 70
my affections love you. JENNY
LONDON, q p. m.
Your despatch has moved me with rapture.
Climax of beatitnde. happiness of the blestl
What are ye, compared to Jenny's love!
Charming angel, tiy to clasp thee in mine
eager arms, aud call thee by the fond title of
wife! AT midnight the steamer leaves and
bears me to my love. JONI.
New York, 8 p. m.
Dear John-Itis useless for you to embark.
Ever since the beginning of this negotiation
have had opportunities to- appreciate Miss
Jenny's Qualities: | have unveiled my heart
to her, aud Notwithstanding her sincere es>
teen for you. she gives me the preference,
seeing as how ] am her near neghbor, and
you are separated from her by the broad At
lantic. We are TO be married at midnight.
JONATHAN
LONDON, st .. IN.
Goddam! This won't do. You owe me a
bloody retribution. Ny seconds in New
York are Messrs. johnson e. Adams
JOHN.
NEW YORK, 8 y. m.
My seconds in London are Messrs Smith
Il Stuart. ou as the ageriesed party, have
the choice OF weapons Hurry up; | am to
be married at midnight. JONATHAN.
To lNessrs. johnson & Adams: These are
the conditions: Weapons, the Atlantic cable
Each principal shall sApd his adversary
powerful shock. Draw lots for the nrst FIRE.
SMITH & STUART.
New York, II p. IN.
JOHNSON ADAMS
LONDON, III p. m.
Ready-let US have two minutes notice.
SMITH d stuart.
New YORK, 2 minutes to m.
AT m. exactly we FIRE. Are you ready?
JOHNSON ADAMS.
LONDON, midnight.
John is Frustrated as if stricken by Il thun>
derbolt. Honor is appeased
SMITH STUART
Thus, within twelve hours, poor Johnny
Bull had loved, been swinded, betrayed and
killed
This veracions correspondence is given to
the world in order to show the astonishing
rapidity which can be communicated to hu
man affairs by the employment OF the en-
gines which are daily invented. In these
times, man cannot prolong his days, but he
can concentrate century into one year by
drsmatizing every second, and condense into
one hour the romance and courtship of
twelvemonth