The Conservative. (M'connelsville, Ohio) 1866-1871, 1867-07-25
sOLILOQUY OF A RADICAL
ARISTOCRAT.
By "BR1cK"

of good Republicans, protected in my
idleness and illgotten wealth by the
people whose lord and master / am
/ like this American aristocracy In
old centuries q man to be an aris-
tocrat, must be a gentleman,
have an education, and understand a
little something of the science of gov
eminent.
Here IL ia different. All q man
needs to be q nabob is bonds-United
States Bonds. What care l for hard
times, or easy times7 It's all the
same TO me. l ride in my carriage
to tho Bank. take along my little
tin box of United States Bonds, the
peoples Congress voted exempt from
all taxation l want some money. /
hold IN bonds halt a million dollars
The interest is rs good as ten cents on
each dollar. Ten cents on each dol
lar Of nOlfa million IS fifty thousand
dollars n year present my bonds
the banker from his safe hands mo my
interest every three months-I live on
my income. An a~ristocrat in America
where ali men are equal
And l pay no taxes not n little
penny. Congress, n Radical Congress
IN its wisdom made it Il law that all
United States Bonds should be exempt
from taxation. The tax collector can't
touch me. The Sheriff protects me
the policeman look out for my house
at night-the poor men who have no
bonds pay for all the roads, bridges,
constablcs, jails, prisons, improve
ments, fire engines, public cisterns,
street lamps, to add TO mYaprotection
and comfort. And they pay for school
houses and sheOol teachers that my
children ma V be educated, but not at
my expense, and they are taxedt to sup.
ported the very paupers ! help to make
in my legalized robbery of the poorl
Indeed this is the best government
Tie world ever saw--that is, for lazy
men, s~windlers, thieves, and bond
holders!
How comes tho money in bank to
pay my interest?
| don't know? That is not my bust
ness, / am aRadical a%ristocrat, q gov
ernment lccch. All | know is that the
money must be thcrc,o I'll break down
the government.
/ believe there is an Internal, or In
fernal revenue collector. He goes
about raising money from the poor
people. | see him every few days, but
he comes to me tor money. lie
| collects tax on stores, brewcries, horses,
cows, wagons, shoe shops, mills, tailor
shops, photograph artists, shOwmen,
lecturers, merchants, draymen, carpen-
ters, blacR smiths, lumbermen, farmers
butchers, lawcrs, pcddlers, printers,
cigar makers, DUUU HtukvTr, mattel,
makers, distiilers, manufacturer of all
kinds Of Implements Ia, machines-from
well folks and from sick ones, from
sound folks and cripples, all of whom
are the victims and slaves of US bond
holders--lIe collects the money-it il
sent on to Washington, by the car loaG
to the tune of one hundred and eighty
millions Of dollars n year, and from
there il il SEN out to the Nationa.
Tanks and paid to us bondholders.
fla poor mechanic wants money, he
earns il. If farmer wants money hi
earns it Ii n poor laborlng man wartr
money, he earns 1t. If a poor foreign
or wants money, he earns it, and If
cripple or widow onIa wants money
they must earn it-pay their taxes ioI
the support Of the bond holders; and j
there IL auy thing left it is theirs.
This is u good government! 1t pro
tects us rich lolks-the poor can be,
or starvc. A man has no business L
be poor. Let him do rs ] do, put hi
money IN United States Bonds anC
live on the interest. Let evorybody
hold bonds. Let men sell their farm
their s~tores-their mills, quit work
live on the untaXable bonds, and wei
all be great together. The theory i
good.
We tax the poor people one hundred
and eighty millions Of dollars a year Il
support us Radical a~rIstocrats. Now
let us double tho amount of bonds
double tho internal tax, and max
money. The people like it! We nigh
as well rob them aI as of half HOY
would 1t work If all were bond hold
ers who paid no taxes, and nobody pro
dueed or paid tNxes?
Why should the people object t.
supporting us?
Why not send men to Congress VIII.
will vote everybody II hundred thou
sand dollars in bonds? Then we ca,
all be rich. No more need Of any
body working then.
There is science, finance, 'loyalty,
devotion to the Union, or whateve.
you call it!
We abolished that contemptible arts
tocracy of the SOUTH
! That was sham aristocracyl It ha,
wealth in negroes, and the negroe
worked as white people worked-w
all helped put INTO the treasury; an,
taxation was light.
And wa abolished fha oriefo,o.