The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1867-10-28
PUNCHLANA.

SoHIsM TO BE APPROVED oF.--A Witticism.
A RITUAIIsTIc KNG.-Edward the Confessor.
LATEST FROM PAN-AHemA.-It was said that
one of the Colonial Bishops wore so much
scent (Which he defended as symbolsing
''mission') that he was Immediately named
the Eau-de-C Cologne-ial Bishop.
A BAD SEASON. can assure
you, what with the rent of the moor, and my
expenses, and what not, the birds have cost
me-ah-a sovereign apiece ~ Keeper
"A' weel, sir Deed it's maircy ye didna
kill ma mair O. 'em ~
A LA MoDE-What perils ladies will en-
counter to be in the fashion They are gene
rally supposed to show timidity in the pre-
sence of wild cattle but they would rather
face mad bull than not have their dresses
gored.
''FoR BETTER FOR WoRsE."-(Our friend
Bagnidge (hasnt rap) has Just married the
widow (rich) of old Harlesden, the stock
broker) ).-Mrs. b. (retiring) -"Shall | send
my poppet his slippers ?" Mr.. B.-"N-n-n-o
not at present, thank you'll" (Sotto voce to his
guest when the door closed )-"Not so fond of
having the muzzles on my feet at o'clock in
the evening, you know, Barney ~
BLAIsE BLAzEs 1T is hardly necessary
to tell Englishmen that Isaac Newton did not
steal any discoveries from Pascal You might
as well say he wrote ''Don Pasquale" or the
" Provincial Letters" Nor will Germans
make any mistake on the subject. But other
continentals are shamelessly ignorant about
everybody but their own countrymen, and are
delighted to accept any story against an
Englshman. Therefore Mr.. Punch signifies to
Europe, and especially Frenchmen, that
recent impudent attempt to deprive New
ton of some of his glory has been
proved to be based on a blundering
forgery, of which only ignorant man
could be guilty. Certain Frenchmen of science
know and Loyalty admit this, but few French
men care to be either scientific or loyal where
an Englishman's renown is concerned, and
therefore this advertisement is given by Mr..
Punch. Blaise Pascal was a great man, and
has reputation enough Newton saw an apple
fall, and Immediately thought of gravitation,
Most Frenchmen, witnessing the same sight,
would have thought of making beigaet de
pOnmeS
A GOOD JOB FOR eARIBALDL
Brave, simple GaribaIdI, reseek your island home;
You might have put your foot in the hole you ala
Another Aspromonte-and made the Neri roar.
You might have gone to Rome, and obliged the Pope
Again with knot on shoulder, and plush above the
From Overwhelming numbers your work more
undone.
Maybe you hoped that Bsmark would keep Napoleon
But what If Austrias eagle had interposed its bill?
Why, then you would have kicked up European
row,
Let poor old Pho Mono possess his throne in peace;
OF temporal dominion for life he holds lease.
The iU has to yet at most can be but few,
That lease no bond obliges the Romans to renew.
Say what you like this Pope does in tact their Kings
place fill,
But who shall make the next their King against
their will?
Must cut the Triple Hat 10 a simple mitre down.
Then walt, friend Garibaldi, till Peter has to ope
The portal which he sits by TO let in Plus Pope.
The of the successors to what they call his chair
Must sit, plain man as he sat- II ever he sat, there