The weekly North-Carolina standard. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 186?-1869, 1867-04-24
From the Toledo Blade.
The Nasty Papers.


'f ~ ~ ~ a
The Connecticut ESsction-7hs Effect it Pro-
duceI at the Corners, and Likewiseot Wash
ington-A Proposition to Rsmoce the Co..
lege Rejected.
WASHINGTON, April Z, 1867.
The news Nv the election in Connecticut
created the most profound sensashen at the
Corners. 1t cum to US SO unexpected, so like
clap Nv thunder from clear sky, or ruth
er SO like CLEAN NV sunlite thro mass Nv
overpowerin black clouds, SO like the first
streak NV sunlite in the mornin after long
mite Nv colera morbus with no brandy in the
house, that we wuz overpowered with it
The Corners hewitt experience SIGH salts
factry spasm NV joy sence the reject Nv the
news Nv the Fort Piller affair. 1t perdoost
very singler effect on Deekin Pogram.-
When cum up to him with the news, he
wuz engaged with all the elokence he pos
sect tryin to convince Niger, wich for
merly belonged to him, that, after all, the
Southernors themselves wuz the only ones
witch the niggers Good trust, and that when
the time cum for EN- to exercise the lectlve
franchise eff they he'd any regard for their
own interests they wood turn their backs on
the Ablishnists, who wuz, to man, .hory
headed deceivers, and trust them and them
only who knowed EN-.
"Samyooel," sed the Deekin, in affec-
schunit tone, with one hand on the nigger's
shoulder, why shoodent we love 700 z 700
are bone Nv you bone, and flesh NV our flesh
we are Nv one blood" this remark the
Deekin got into habit some two years ago
Nv gittin off when speekin NV the Dimocrisy
North, and alluz uses it. It is ruther effec-
tive, tho in this instance eft he'd bin in his
place, shoodent hev slung it out, owing to
the pecooliar construckshen witch mite be
put onto t)-" and our interests is one, Sam
yooel."
"Deekin," SEE I, lnterruptin him. "Deek-
in Connecticut hez spoken in thunder tones,
and hez gone Dimocratic !"--
swat p seq he, Dimocratic !"
"Verily," SEE l. "a Governor, and three
Congressman out of four"
Their wuz sudden rupcher Nv the friend
ly relashens existen between the Deck n and
Samyooel the dark complexioned. If he
wuz NV the Deekins flesh the Deekin wuz in
favor of Notifying it, for never WIZ flesh so
belabored ez wuz that unfortunit chattels.
The flesh wuz imejltly lasserated. He pitch
ed into him feroshus, and after pummein
the astonished Aferkin, who didn't see why
the result of a eleckshun shood work SIGH a
change, till he wuz out of breth, he condenst
wat strength wuz remain into one vigorous
kick, exclaimin-
stake that, you black swindler I've
talked sweet to VOC under false pretenses.-
I've bin betrayed into wastin soft sawder
onto niger into coaxin whor hev a
ondenible rite to command into"
swat does all dis mean 2" sed the niger
family.
Mean |" sed to him; +" my friend this
is the reaction we've heard so much about
its arriv. 1t means that there is exceedin-
ly good chance Nv yoou bein redoost agin
to yoor normal speer, Nv yoor comm down
the highhoss yoove bin ridin and in bein
that Connecticut hez spoken, and that yoor
good deal more valyooable to US now than
you wuz hour ago. Go, my friend, and
buy salve for your brooses, for unless you're
heeld, yoor valyoo will be less in the mar
kit. Yoo'd be shamed to sell for low
price, woodent yoo?"
left the Dimocrisy jubilatan and come
on to Washinton, feelin that l must go
where Good find kindred soles. The mite
I arrived ther wuz high carnival at the
White House. The President wuz in tall
feather Their wuz Connecticut visible all
over him. He he'd a wooden nutmeg for
buzzum pima minatoor bass wood ham
hung from his watch fob, and in honor Nv
the occashun he wuz drinkin punches made
of Moo England rum, with smoll slices of
Weatherfeld onyuns in EN- insted Nv lem
ons. Randall sprang toward me ez enter
ed the room, and clasped me by one hand,
the President by tother, and we then--not
altogether onlike the three graces-embrac-
ed. They he'd the advantage Nv ME, ez
they he'd one odor---the onyun---which he'd
ent, but stood it. Why not, when that
odor wuz from the breths of those hevin the
the apintin power2 wood hev stood it
| he'd they bin eatIn aSsOfGtida.
At this juncture Secretary Wells come
in.
cha" said he, "why this unwonted hill
arity why this joy wher greet ginerally
| holds her court !"
The Connecticut elecksoun, said Ran
DALI
Their wuz pleasant gatherin Cowan
wuz ther, and Salisbury and Doolittle and
Seymour and Brooks, and more congratula-
tory letters wuz read than wood fill page
of the Moo York Herald. John C. Breckin-
ridge hoped this suspicious event wuz the
beginnin NV good teelin, presagin, ez he
| trusted it did, the evenchooel triumph Nv
them witch he he'd alluz bin proud to call
his friends. Mayor Monroe, Nv Moo Orleans,
hoped that, after this evidence Nv returnin
reason, President johnson wood not hesitate
to remove that second Butler, Gen. Sheri-
dan, who wuz ojius to every friend the Pres
| ident had in the city Nv witch he wuz lately
| Mayor. Gen. Wise sent his congratulations,
but ez they okkepied thirty-eight pages NV
legal cap paper, closely written, they wuznt
read Mosby sent allegoricle pipe made Nv
corn cob, onto w1ch wuz carved symbol
| Gle niger with the American eagle with
| his claws into his wool, with his congratu-
lashuns and Fernando Wood and Jesse D.
Bright and Dan voorhees, sent thern, and
| Vallandigham wanted to know now wheth-
| er or not the Presinent wuz goin to accept
| the situashen and take the Dimocratic party
to his buzzum9 Eff so, he he'd list Nv
apintements for Southern Ohio witch he
wished made. At this pint the question
arose whether or not he'd not better move
my Classikle and Military Institoot to Con-
necticuta I am practicle man, and to-
wuznt asked, ez pertinent to the question,
| whether or not ther wuz distillery in Con-
necticut, and sekond whether or not ther
| wuz vacant post offs within four miles Nv
| it.
sob, to be sure" sed the venerable old
man, vacantly, II remember Hawley, wuz
elected over-over-what wuz his name q
| our candidate I"
aThat wuz last year !" sed Seward, an.