The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1867-01-30

drinks at his friends eXpense-alwayt
at his own.
Unsocial old snarl says love is
combination of diseases--an affection
of the heart, and an inflammation o
brain. n
Phe newest Yankee notion is al
umbrella with gutter round the edge
and spout at one corner.
g have not loved lightly" as the
man said when he married a widow
weighing three hundred pounds.
| Why must telegram be slower il
transmission than most letters BE
cause it must go by SO many posts be.
fore 1t reaches its destination.
A counsel being questioned by a
judge to know " for whom he was con-
cerned, replied, 4 am concerned
my lord, for the plaintiff, but [ am
employed by the defendant :"
A leyeller perceiving two crows
| flying side by side, said: : Ay, that is
just how it should be; [ hate to see
one crow over another"
I Before love comes in at the door, "
/ it would be well for him to peep
through the keyhole. He might see
something that would prevent him
from entering
Now, papa, what is a humbug?"
asked little four year-cld Johnny
1t is, replied papa. when mamma
pretends to be very fond of me, and
puts no buttons On my .under-gar-
ments."
why will you persist in wearing
another. woman's hair on your head"
asked Acid of his wife. She retorted
=" Why will you persist in wearing
another sleeps wool on your back?"
Hartley Colerdge once being asked
which Of Wordsworth's productions
he considered the prettiest, replied
very promptly, " His daughter Dora"
Our city is unusually quiet. The
devil is not among us. He is busy at
Observation-Disclosures
He has probably gone on to get
pardon.-State Journal
All mistake. He is granting par
-4OLCtCO -OLUUS.
A gentleman praising the personal
charms of very plain woman in the
presence of Foote, the latter said:
" And why don'tyou lay claim to such
an accomplished beauty?" What
right have [ to her?" exclaimed the
gentleman. Every right, by the
law of nations, replied Foote,
" every right, as the first discoverer
A constable in Kentucky, in pub
fishing some property for sale, put up
a notice with the following clause: Il
wyl xpose fir sail the 5da 1866 Nv Jan,
wun lytle rome hors, or so much there
of as maybe necessary to satisf sed
gugment."
The local editor of the Hannibal
Daily Courier is the wealthiest news
paper man in the West. He sums up
his worldly possessions in this wise:
Mrs. Local (par value), $1,00O,0OO;
one five years old Local, 100000;
one seven weeks old local, $3.50, 800;
cash on hand, 43 cents; due on ac-
count, 81 sundries, Il cents Total,
81, 750,001 50.
" Pa" observed young urchin of
tender years to his fond parent, does
the Lord know everything?
" Yes, my son, replied the hopeful
sire; " but why do you ask that ques-
tom? 9 Because our preacher, when
he prays, is so long telling the Lord
everything, | thought he wasn't post
ed. The parent. reflected.
A man coming home late one night,
little more than {" half seas over"
feeling thirsty, procured a glass of
water and drank it. In doing so he
swallowed small ball of silk that Law
in the bottom of the tumbler. the end |
catching his teeth. Feeling something
in his mouth, and not knowing what |
it was, he began pulling at the end.
and the little ball unrolling, he soon
had several feet in his hands, and still |
no end apparently. Terrified, he |
shouted at the top of his voice, +" Wife, |
wife /! | say wife, come herel I am un-
raveling!"
Where are you going so fast, Mr.. !
SMITH? demanded Mr.. Jones.
-" Home, sir, home; don't detain me; |
L have just bought my wife new bon
net, and | must deliver it before the /
fashion changes.
A young lawyer, who had long paid
his court to lady without much adj
vancing his suit, accused her one day !
of being insensible to the po1oer of |
LOUe. " 1t does not follow" she arch
ly replied, that am so because am
not to be won by the pover of attor
neg" f" Forgive me- replied the
sutton, but you should remember
that all the votaries of Cupid are So
hctiors."
Laughable Mistake.
A Portland, Me-, correspondent of
the New York San tells the follow