Delaware State journal and statesman., 1867-01-22

CONJUGAL JARS.
Know We not all, the Scripture saith,
That man and wife are ONE till death
But Peter and his soolding wife
Wage such an endless war Of strife,
You'd swear, on passing Peters door,
That man and wife at least were FOUR.
Love is as necessary to womans heart as q
fashionable bonnet to her head. Indeed, we
thing, rather more SO for nothing less than
large measure Of love will content her, whereas
the recent fashion has shown that she can be
satisfied with very little bonnet.
'GRnlpa, did you know that the United States
had been in the habit of encouraging and &C.
knowedging toriesi = Certainly NOT what
kidd Of torieai' Territories. Now give me
some penuies or Ill catch the measels, and
make you pay for 'em'
Paddy said joker, why don't you get
your ears cropped-they are entirely loo long
for mani And yours replied Pat, ought
TO be lsngthened--ihey ere entirely too short for
On ass
The man who never told an editor how he
could better his psper, has gone to st. Louis to
marry woman who has never looked into q
looking glass.
Words should be seconded by action it isn't
enough for housewife to say to a stocking with
a hole in it. you be darAed.'
An Indian editor threatens US with Ia good
dressing Than you, sir. Let it be black broad
cloth, il you please. Our tailor will send you
our measure.-LOJ. Jour.
There is a bashful bachelor who dares mot
meet ladies in the street. He says they wear so
many bugles on their dresses that he fears over
lures from them.
An old bachelor being laughed at by party
Ofpretty girls, told them, You are small pota.
toes Cried one Of them, but we are sweet
] ones''
sentimental young man thus feeIngly ex-
' presses himself: Even as nature bensvolenty
guards the rose With thOrns, go does she endow
women with pins
counsel being questioned by a judge t.
I know for whom he was concerned replied, y
am concerned, my lord, for the plaintiff, but
y am employed by the defendant
A Western editor once wrote, "a correspond
ent asked whether the battle Of Waterloo occur
= red before or after the commencement Of th
Christian era We answer 1t did,
A person asked an Irshman why he wore BIZ
8 stockings wrong side outward Because, sal
. . he, there's hole on the other side
1t is better to be laughed at for not bsin
II married, than to be unable to laugh because yo
!, ! are.
2 Il bavs not loved lightly as the man sal
when he married a widow weighing three hun
II dred pounds.
N The difference between an editor and his vii
is said to be- that sets articles to rights an
If the other writes articles to set.
y A Dutcbman being asked how often he shaved
ts replied, Dree dimes week effery tay but sOor
or tay, den shsves effery tay'
v. We see,' said Swift, in one Of his most sal
's castle moods, what God thinks of riches by th
people he gives them to.
1t has been asked, when rain falls, does
ever get up again OF course it does-in de
time.
. A orusty bachelor objects to chambermaid
because they use more hair oil than any six me
ed The full dress of native lady of Colombo
u. a hair-pin and garter.
h.. Who was Jonah's tutori The whale wi
nts. brought him up
Teil The speaker who took the floor hss been q
ne, rested for stealing lumber.
AR The Worst Taxa tax of gout-[Punch.