The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1867-10-24

trees be so he could have stole ap.
Piles off in the fall. l don't care
If he was the father Of his country,
he wasn't smart, and I'll bet you
the boys in our school would cheat
him out of his eye-teeth swoppin'
jack knives, and l could lick him
and not hardly try, and l don't
think he was very healthy either,
for never saw good little boy
that wasn't always sick aud had
the mumps and measles, and the
scarlet fever, and wasn'ta coughin
all the while, and hadn't to take
castor oil, and tar-wator, and
couldn't eat cherries and didn't
have to have his head patted till all
the hair was rubbed offby every.
body that came to his mothers, and
bo asked how old he was, and who
died to save sinners, and what he
had been studyin' at school, and
how far he'd got, and lots of other
conundrums, and have to say his
catechism, no | should not like to
be q good little boy, I'd just as lict
be a nangel and be done with it.
l don't think | ever shall be a good
little boy, and other people don't
think so too, for / wasn't never
called good little boy but once
and that was when Uncle John
asked me where | stood In my class
and | told him it was next to the
head, and he said that was right
and he gave mo a quarter, and
when he asked mo how many boys
there were in the class, and | said
there was only two, myself and q
little girl, and then he wanted me
to give him back the quarter and
| wouldn't, and he ran after me
and stumbled over a chair, and
broke his cane, and hurt himself
and he's been lame ever since, and
I'm glad Of it, for he isn't my faith
or and hasn't any right to lick me
for | get enough Of that at home
.andJthe quarter wasn't q good one
either. 1 don't like Uncle John
and l guess he knows it, for he
says amt like any Of the family
and he expects I'll 60 to sea and be
u pirate instead of a respectable
member of society, and should moi
wonder, for I'd rather be pirate
than soap-boiler like him, and
don't care if he is rich, it's a nasty
business, and shan't have to be 9
pirate either, for ono can make lots
Of money without that, and they're
always talking to me about being
rich and respectable, and goin' to
Congress, and being President, and
all that sort O. thing, but l dom
want to bo President ; there's Lin
coin, hc was President, and Iguess
he's sorry for it now, and there's
Andy Johnson, l guess he don't like
it much either, and q fcller doesn't
have to bo respectable to be Q
Congressman, for there's John Nor
rissoy, he's made money, and he'I
gone to Congress, and he has nice
curly hair and nice clothes, and he
don't do any work either.
shouldn' t like to be a fighter like
he is, for l shouldn't like to have
my nose smashed as his is, for il
looks Just as my mothers big
squash did after tho COW bit
chunk out of it, but l should like
to have nice curly hair, nice clothes
and lots of money aud cane. and
: have people look at mo when
walked down the street and say
, that's him, and 1 don't care WHIT
knows it, for don't want to be
soap boiler like Uncle John, nor
tanner like Uncle Hiram, and al
the good people | know of are soal
boilers or ortanners, except Mr.. Steb
) bens, and he's a school teacher, ant
J that's worse than either, for hc ha
} to board round tho neighbors, AM
they never put apple sass on th
{ table when he's at the house,
/; hearn Miss Spriggins tell Aun
Polly So. they wait till he's gon
. to spellin' school or to see tn
Q minister's wife and talk abou
, rheumatic and red flannel and no
r poultices for sore chests, and afte
. he's gone thoy bring out the ME
.. things and cat 'cm by themselves
! with lots of pickles. Hc don't GO
anything but broad and cookin
4 butter, and stale doughnuts tha
l are left. over from Saturdays bak
d in; oh, | know them things ar
0 done but there's Bob calm me
t and we re goin' a bird.nesting, TO
Q l know where there's yaller bird
\ nest chuck full of eggs; motho
! says it's cruel and the birds don
d like it and that | wouldn't like t
!, have my eggs stole if | was a bird
t and | don't think l should, but
t amt q bird, you know, and tha
r makes a difference, and ifyou war
q TO print shis you can, for next t
" being q stage driver and a pira'
l. I'd like to bo an editor, for you fe
70 lows don't have to tell the trutl
i and you can 60 to the circus will
2 out payin'. JOHN PAUL'
J, A Correspondent writes fro
= Topeka, Kansas, as follows: az a,
. sas River bottoms in the viclnl'
II A