Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1867-09-07
1T r MS.

A young lady "bo gives herself away, To-
ses her sell possession.
Which is the business that would "soot -
@verJbody? Chimney sweeping. .
Why is al alarm Of FIRE in the night like
a clc'hes.brush?. Because it spoils the nap
Why is monarch, who cant talk, like
hi1 q, minionsi Because he 10 a king dumb
A traveller describes New England as the
greatest Watering place in the country. He
couldn't ge, any thing but water.
Tie model yonng man who invariably de-
cliaes 40 invita- ion to take something
has so far overcome his seruples as to con-
sent to take Q, vacation - .....
On reading that the milk Of an irritated
COW soon gfts sour, Qui p remarked that his
landiady's COW must be 10 q continual pas
Won. E4g-r 1~ze~~ - ~w r. g. rT~~r~
The Soltan'h has made = joke Passing the
shop of we!l-kno~n co.feur, where the
cbignons were szDcred for saIe, he inq quired
if it was hair 'en.
There is q story told of an Indian. Who,
having seen . gentleman with wig and spec
tacles. exclaimed in ,,ams.ement dim two
scalp, four eyes, by golly!r
An old lady, w"o was admrug the beau.
tiiul picture called Saved ITS no won
dvr,'' said sle, that the poor child tainted
after pulling that grea. dog ou, Of the Va.
ter
"Tommy, my scn, said fond mother,
"do you say your prayers nj ht and morn
ing? ""les-lbat is nights; but an , smar,
boy can take care vf himself in the day
time"
A mechanic bio labor will often discard, y
Ii ,hefa,e of his payhe dislikes -
But clock, and its case is uncom morl5 hard.
Will continue to work though it strikes
Holmes, among other good things in the
July iAstslnsat Of his story, ssys that easy
eryine widowsJtaks nes huShAnds ssooussls
there is notoing like We. weather Cor trans
planting, -...a.
Af EsEth 4 Z a
Not long since, . youth older, 10 Wit than
years, after being sca,eohissd concerning the
power of Na.ors, replied :''' Ma, l think
there is one thing nature can't do. She can.
make Bill Jones mouth any bigger -wi,hou.
se,siak BIZ eass backr' 4 S.l3@31IJ
The following notice indicates bad spell
as we'll . =, hot spell; Notiss-=This ere
plsis j. 4lossd fnrr repairs onlo ths preacher.
His vSiss ID gin soo !, ,susnd we've sent him to
Saratogy 10 recooper i, ionser full pay
Sinners under konsfcsbun il respectfully re-.
specially requested to adjourn to Saratogy,
ID sasy b.. up IsI4ups. Ef 10. 70, sold
their hosses 10 the fall term. EG they kon.
k klude TO die in the meantime. .eour, PREACHER
will maik il ssl rite with them in the mex
world. A a@2etaa4a a5 aa@ .saz ..gs.v
"whar," !" a.tedo ) repovned stamp orator,
who vas running for the Office Of constable,
'whar, my enlig htened friends of the sixty.
sixth militia district, was Andrew jackson
ID the battle of New Orleans? Wur be thar
He wur He wur . rido' up an down on
: bob-,ailsd Arabian, wavip', Of cracked
sabre, mp to the arm pits in blood and mud;
and gi,in' Of the British thunder; the ze-
MUS ofshts coinsfy ho'din Of her egis over
his head. cotton balss pansvsering in front
70 protect him lrs0 Svefy, rdAagsr, and the
Anssioan sasia with the stass and is.ripss
i IL bsat, : soa<in' alon 10 'tbs blue snpy-
rsss, s1lI. HAD colusbiar /. .5.'.' , ~