Buchanan County bulletin and guardian. (Independence, Iowa) 1866-1869, 1867-07-19

LADIES AND GExrLEAEx II hev notissd
the daily expanshun Nv the students heds,
and that they had to by . nu hat every
munih, hev seen the necessity Nv an inven-
shsn. hev here what ID called the Self Ex-
panshun Scient6ck Classickal Literary Hat,
and Ide like to sell the rite to this skule. i
am here accordia to appintment. l am .
goin to take three subjeks this ,o-nite, Dis
trict Skule teachin, Liker and Luv. l aint
noted for stickin close to subjet. Iginerally
rite . speech and name it afterwards, but
to-nitc, hev taken three subjects, thinkin
they mite embrase all that hev to say. but
don't know but what had better taken
haf dnxzen more. The objekt Nv my lec>
ter IL to git to be prinsipal NV this ere Insti>
but fur the benefit Nv the people. Now boys
If you will uze your inHuense to plase me at
the he'd Nv this edecatin shop will keep
keg NV beer and bottle Nv bitters down in
the janiter's rune fur your benefit. The
prinsipal branches i shall tech will be readin,
riten and spelin. If i git tu be the skule
master here Iii hev q spelin skule one mite
aud lecture the next mite, and so on the
hui week, exceptin Sundy mites, and them's
the regular mites for courtin. l'de du away
with blackbords and chock, wouldn't need
any assistance wi,hoat ide git one NV the
big girls to help me. Ide 60 around and
sho the skolars how to do sums, and If
fingered around good while shown the
big girls how to do sums the boys needn't
be jealos. In my PASTORAL charge never
hey meetins on Sundy mites, fur they seem
tu much like . phase Nv amuzemeut fur the
young. Yes, am nuthin but the runnin
gcers NV q preas her but j can preech heap
site soldier surmuns than sum Nv these stall
fed theologens, if you want an OK for the
slawter>house stall, fcsd him into state NV
torpidity il You want an inactive preacher,
let him study in Kollege about ten years
and he will think more Nv q good eazy chair
than be duz Nv mems souls. But hev left
my lecture and gone to prcachiu, and | am
a good mind to let my lecture 60 and con-
timer on preachin. Not long ago waz vis>
itin one Nv my friends and he introduced
me ~ perfeser Pelkins, took nv friend tu
side and give him tcrable skoldin, sez j,
you didn't emfasize the perfe ser enuf, you
didn't ID stress Nv vo;se enuf on the perfeser.
When hev handle tu mi name there IL
where / want you to take hold Nv it. l hev
tcecht heap Nv skules. am like the fell
Ter that jined the mectin six munths on per>
bashun, and ne sed he dun 50 well they wax
wiin 10 let him off in munh. hey such
all ability fur impar,in knowlege that the
skolars turned So fast they wuz willin to let
me of in about q week. l don't blievc in
hangin around . kollege seven or eight
years fur the sake Wv gettin an edecashun.
got mi edecashun in three munths in log
skule house, exceptin goin to Kollege or 3
days, to hev it to tell i'de bin to kollege,
then wuz appinted tu debate aginst .
starched up TELLER and i tell w ! thrashed
him kompletcly the furst fore full it made
the teers stream down hiz cheks, fur he waz
ambishus and hated to be WHIPPED. But l
didn't stay in Kollege only or , days fur
the students had so much to say and tho't so
much Nv me, and could not stand popu>
larity. alwayze kallcd the perfesser boss;
had bin wurkin on the railrode and used
to sayin boss. The perfessor give out him
one mornip, and got mp and scd. boss, do
yon want me TO start that ar tewn didn't
rccte any more lessuns thare for got ex>
PEELED durin life, with a rttcn permishun not
TO enter any uthcr kollege.
uncc had niggcr tri tu go tu skule tu
me, but wouldn't hev him around fur
coodent stand the material perfumery, as Pc.
troleum v. Nasby calls it. Thewanted ME
to go JEFF. Davis bale, but wouldent du it.
| knu Gerrit Smith and Horace Grealy
wazept very responsible, and wax afrade
jeff. Davis wood take to krinolines agin and
wood hev the hui burned thing to pa. II
'de he~ tho. that sum good honest man