Mineral Point weekly tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1859-1868, 1867-04-10

WHAT paper has the largest circula
tion ? Counterfeit fifty cents cur
rency.
The cipture says - the glory OF
a woman is her hair but it nowhere
says that the glory of any woman Is
any other woman's hair.
/" SANBoi what am your opinion oh
rats Z" Why, / tink de one dat hab
de shortest tail will get in de hole de
quickest.
CouRTING two girls at once may be
very pleasant business, if one of them
does not find it out. In that case
JOSH BILLINGS truthfully remarks
that - trying to live on the reputation
Of dead grandfather is Just about
rs euterprising as trying to hatch out
rotten eggs under tin weathercock. "
JOSH BILLINGS says: - 1t is a first
rate way to court girls mother a
little, on the start, for there is one
thing a woman never despises, and
that is little good courting, if it is
done on the square"
'.IF YOU had avoided rum" said a
rumseller to customer, You could
now ride in Your carriage" \ nd if
you had never sold rum, . said the
bacchanal, you would have been my
driver.
A NEGRO preacher once observed
to his hearers at the close of a sermon,
as follows: Ny obstinacious bred
eren, find it no more use to preach
to you dan it is for grasshopper to
ware nee buckles"
A LITTLE BOY asked his mother
what q blood relation meant. She
replied that it signified near relative,
etc. After thinking a moment he
said :. Then. mother, you must be
the bloodiest relation I've got"
AMAN with large family was com
planning of the difficulty of support
ing all of them. But" said friend,
:. YOU have sons big enough to earn
for you. now The diff
Guilty is, they are too big to work,
was the answer.
"DowN EAST there lives hale
aud hearty man, whose wife says Is
posse ed of the moss sensitive feel
ings; and in proof thereof she states
that when she goes into the yard and
saws wood for half day, he sits by
the fire with tears IN his eyes.
A LITTLE girl, Just passed her fifth
wear, while chatting about the beau
that visited two of the sex in the
same house. of more mature age, was
asked 9 " hat do you mean by beau.
Annie ?" She replied, o Why. men
that have not got much sense.
A FELLOW went into the clerks
office to get marriage certificate -
After looking at the instrument
awhile, he beckoned the clerk aside.
q See here, mister" said he, conf
dentiallv, % can't you date this back
about two months" The clerk as
sured him that he could not :" " ell,
said he. q I don't care nothing about
il myself; but her folks rather insist
upon it.
A FAMOUS Judge came late to court,
one day. in busy. season, whereat his
clerk, in great surprise, enqulred of
him the reason. \ child was born,
his honor said, = and I'm the happy
sire. An infant Judge p oh,
no, he said "as yet he's only crier,
Ir is told Of Charles Lamb, that one
afternoon. having taken his seat in a
crowded omnibus, a stout gentleman
looked In, and politely asked, " All
full inside 2" | don't know how it
NAV be with the other passengers. >
answered Lamb, :. but that last piece
of oyster pie did the business for me r
SANBo, can you tell me in what
building people arc most likely to
take cold 2
Why. no: me strange in de town,
and can't tell dat
Well, 1 will tell yor-it IS de
bank p"
,How is dat p
Because dare are SO many drafts
in IT.
dat is good but can You tell me,
/ sab, what makes dare be so many
drafts IN 1t
No"
because 50 many 60 dare to raise
the wind yal, yah, yah,