Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1867-04-27

rNeHR n Orks FHH FWrFh
George Francis Train made one of his
characteristic speeches, one day last week,
at the Hydropathic Institute in New York
city. It was in his usual rambling, eccen-
trio style. striking right and. left careless
of whom he hit, aud Indifferent as to whom
he pleased or displeased. 81, rI;,.-'
Tya THE ExoRDIUM. a9
Mr.. Train opened by saying:
"An ancient sage says: That medical,
legal and clerical professions are the
tcrdEches on which ignorant, discordant and
deceased humanity hobbies through the
world. Il Laughter They take possession
of, your body, y our pocket, and your soul.
Without them we would have more reli-
sgion less discord, and more ripe old age.i"
The speaker went on to say that having
recently given the diagnosis of our finan-
cial affairs to the gold brokers, and talked
charity to the Fifth avenue aristocracy for
the Southern Relief Fund, he did not see
why he should not enter a new field, and
\ so proceeded to make T,sg rFyaa faeuTa.f
AFLING AT THE DOCTORS.
| He talked of exposing the swindling,
murderous system of the honorable faculty
! in poisoning our babes with vaccine mat
ter, shattering the constitutions of our
wives, our daughters and our mothers by
the damnable. use of the. speculum, and
creating drunkards of all our people with
their alcoholic medicines, their quack COM
pounds and their fashionable "Bourbon J"
| [Applause.] Hygiea. the goddess of health,
| has hard work to fight the battle with
Eseulapius. the god of medicine, Hippo
crates and Galen were relics of barbarism !;
yet they still practice at the medical col
iege. Paracelsus, with his infamous calo-
mel, still peoples the graveyards with his
llegalized poison. while Jenner still innocu-
Hates the healthiest of our race with the
seeds of death. ......------..
This last sentiment, it seems, produced a
sensation in the audience, for vaccination is
quite popular, though some of our readers
! will doubtless indorse Mr.. Trains views on
that head. rs8g t4 g lt.sEE =
HYDRoPATHY ". ALLoPATHY.
After saying that when the advanced
physician dropped the large pill and adopt
ed the small pill. the revolution began, Mr..
Train continued thus - - n
$ One step more. and Presnitzism, Scheif-
lerdeckerism. will remoTe all the scales, and
poor, faculty-fooled humanity will be
emancipated. Hydropathy is in the sci
Eence of health what the steamship, the To-
eomotive, gas-light and the telegraph are
in the science of locomotion and progress.
Applause] Allopathy is the stage coach,
che canal boat, the mail bag and the tallow
candle system of advancing Backward
TLaughter1 Scheiterdeeker's prescriptions
need not be written in Latin. Rest, regu-
1
pure water, early hours, are natures ply
sicians." l.r.r1 rs- -+fg} -sl.-,e- ..s=ss.-
r The speaker continued little while on
the same vein, and then struck off upon
what he called the
ORGANIZED HYPOCRISY OF SOCIETY.
.'He explained this to mean the inculcat-
ed sentiment that crime is not iU the act,
but in getting found out. Take the money
out of his pocket said Smike. but don't
break the law Don't take that flower
said the bishop to his daughter in the park,
the policeman may see YOU Don't play
marbles there on the sidewalk; it is Sun
day; come and play in the back yard.
Isn't it Sunday in the back yard, mother?'
tfLaughter.l French fashions, French GUS
toms, extravagant living, and the family
physicians prescriptions are fast destroy
! ing American morality and American con-
stitutions. Fewer marriages and more di-
vorces produce less virtue. and more vice.
Our modern marriage service should read
ltnus: Clergymen--Will.- you take this
brown stone front, this carriage aud span.
these diamonds for thy welded husband?
| Yes. Laughter VIII you take this un-
paid mllliner's bill, this high waterfall of
foreign hair, these affectation accomplish
ments and feeble constitution for thy we'd
ded wife? loud laughterl Yes. Then,
what Mammon has joined together, let the
next best man run away with, so that the
first divorce court may tear them asunder.
IT'S PITIFUL SIGHT. zak
George Francis continued 'Tis pitiful
to see so many of our women lose all sense
of delicacy, and we might say of chastity,
in submitting to the demoralizing use of
the speculum at the suggestion of the fam
lily physician. 'Tis pitiful to see all habits
lof temperance set aside and the seeds of
]drunkenness planted forever by the family
tdoctor recommending bourbon. L believe
to-day there is more whisky drank in Fifth
layenue than in avenue A. Corpulency is
becoming chronic. Plethora abdOnsi,aGLis is
the fashionable disease. Laughter and
applause.1 'Hydropathy, Schieferdecker-
fism. ignores all these pestilenGial contri-
vances of the faculty. Hence, this power
broadcast at this new agent that is under
mining by acts and facts their swindling
systems.
rSEEs NEWPORT AND SARATOGA.
/ Though a jealous advocate of hydro
pathy. the speaker came down on fashiona-
BILE watering places in this style:
7I1atterly the faculty have recommended
mineral waters and a-bathiDg-two new
agencies tor deluding their patients. New
fport and Saratoga are the Sodom and CO.
morrah of our day. Three months at these
fashionable places will keep the doctors
busy the other nine. Laughter While
the mineral waters destroy the inner coat
tings of the system, the salt water stops the
lpores, and destroys the fine sensibilities Of
the skin on the outside. [Applause.l Hy-
fdropathy forbidS the use OF either. The
Estereotyped phrase of your family physi.
clan. when you ask if Schieferdeckerism
won't help you, is, Eyes, it is good fol
some; but your constitution wouldn't
stand it." That settles the question, anG
the pill box, the lancet, and bourbon re-
sumo possession of their victim.
SOME APOLOGY AND CONCLUSION.
Mr.. Train thinking his sweeping censure
of the doctors might be regarded as rather
severe, gave their patients dose of the
same, and concluded as follows:
| Perhaps l am too censorous upon the
doctors. I admit that the patients deserve
! a fair share. They will not practice self
denial; they will over-eat, over-drink, over
indulge in dissipation, and expect their dec
, tor to make them well with one powder
} and one pill. [Laughter.] Hence an insti.
tuition is needed where man can gain his
health without being daily led into tempta-
! ton. Man needs occasional rest. When
the race is over the race-horse is groomed
in the stable, or turned loose in the pasture
with his shoes off. The steam engine goes
e into the machine shop for repairs. Is maT
stronger than the horse or the locomotive
e that he alone requires no repairs?"
/ RADtCALIsM claims hold upon the graf.
f itude of the Southern negro; and hence j
proposes for all time to secure his vote. A.
Il all the issues which Radicalism can pre-
1 sent will be hostile to the interests of the
r negro as a Southerner; this claim for hi
# vote on account of having freed him will
have peculiar effect.
J, There was once man who fell into
r rver, but was dragged out at the very las
moment by some other man. Thencefortl
the latter commence a course of drink
and loans at the expense of the other