The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1867-02-07
The Columbus Morning Journals
Town" New York Correspondent gives
the following amusing account of

Town" New York Correspondent gives
the following amusing account of
TAKING A RUSSIAN BATH.
I'm going to give you Russian
bath now. 1t is best to take up dis
agreeable subjects with vigor and have
them over with. So | rush into this
with an excusable haste, for should |
hesitate I'm lost. No one after hav-
ing once received an inficton in tho
shape of a Russian Bath will ever care
to undergo it again. In the first place
| it costs you dollar and quarter,
which is q preposterous price, and is
probably charged for the above reason
they never have chance to charge
il twice to the same person. But let
US go up to Wallack's Theater, and
there you will sec on the side of the
stairways odd looking signs in the
shape oftwo- headed eagles with crowns
on, and various other paraphernaia,
which chow the nationality of the bu-
siness carried on up stairs. Going up
to the floor occupied by the company,
you enter an ante-room, which is tit.
ted up in the coziest of all styles, with
splendid camel coal fire, and in
short, everything arranged in 4 man.
ner which will entirely disabuse ones
mind of whatever disagreeable impress
sions he may have had as regards the
utter misery of the operations to which
he is about to voluntarily intrust him
self. At little desk in one corner
sits the cashier Of the establishment
A Byron colas, o black mustache, a
varicgated scarf, and an air that is
commiserative at least, are all united
in this monster who so coolly takes
away your hard earned funds.
Well, with your ticket in your hand,
and with fear in your heart, you next
enter Il room which looks more like
the long cabin Of steamer than any
thing else, with little doors opening off
it after the manner of state rooms.--
Around in various parts of the room
you see what, perhaps, you may have
read of in Fox's Book of Martyrs, and
what you may never have expected to
sce-men being tormented and tor'ur'
ed by fends in human shape. Coolly
you turn to go out and escape such
barbarities-the door is locked and
you cannot return. Strange men, in
no attire, come to you, and, in broken
English and German, invite you to a
state room. Gathering up your scat,
tered courage, you, with a smile OF
resignation, enter the closet. Here
are three hooks upon the wall to hold
your clothing, three towels for future
use, q three legged stool for immediate
ditto, and a boot jack, This is horri'
Bile. No window from which you can
leap or shrek for help. No friend is
near to cheer you in your hour OF
trouble. You melt into tears-an un-
necessary metaphorical operation now
you will be melted really and truly
very soon-and quietly disrobe. Low
ing ly and lingeringly do you hang up
each well known garment. Fever
again, mayhap, will they enshroud
your manly form, Regrettully do your
thoughts fly back to home, and friends
of long agoI-but there is no more
time for reflection Having divested
yourself OF a rfajority of your clothing,
you deliberate as to the course you
shall pursue, Opening the door slow
ly, your equanimity is disturbed by a
shrek of derision from tho fiendish at
tondants, who, with fearful rapidity,
tear from you the few rags to which
you SO fondly clung. You have seen
MazeppaP ] need say no, more. With
devil Git is an occasion for plain
speaking) you are hurried along to a
door opposite the one by which you
enter, which opens, you are pushed in,
and the torment begins. Now, ifyou
have never read Dante's Inferno, you
might as we'll stop reading, for you
never, never can imagine the horrors
OF that one apartment Do you know
the awful, choking "feel' of 2
:, Do you know the dim, shadowy ap'
pearance of objects seen through an at
|, mosphere filled with the hot, moist va
! porP Picture, if you can, a dozer
! shapes, OF various sizes, alternately ap
! pearing and vanishing around YOU
Hear, If you can, the continuous splasf
! and songh of falling water, Feel, i