The Union and journal., 1867-03-15
spARE rrHEs.

Why b On axe iiks eo6ssf n mvss b
ground before II can b used.''r 'i'' p"
wha, u thst BY losing an eye has moth.
INK Ieft but nose' Anoise. go, =
Hope Is Away. much better than fear q
eoumg- ia sulsrior,o eow.rdiiee., e.
Why, IL . chiken pis, like . -E''nsnith's
shop7,, Because il contains fo~l'iu pieces
What trees inerass and multiply and
besr mos, fmis after they sS 1''t DOWN.
Christmas trees. sr'tu "0rfH -
The man who -councd an investigation
sysh Il isnt hall a. good ss co,nsinS an al.
Sccsionste gih. '" "" T'..'
l' Mori~eys Arguments Of the floor Of
the House are expected to be @ciinchsrs"
A bashfal musician upon being request
ed to blow his cornet, turned rcd end
white and blew.
"Why, ma said Il was beer ,hs, made
your nose look 90 red, and ] thought
,"iiere, Susan, take this child"
Some malicious person Asserts that the
letters N. D., which arc placed after Physi-
clans names, signify "Money Down."
Look with compassion on oil who srs
beneath you In life, and strive to sssist
them to advance on tho road to wisdom.
The pursuit In which We cannot ask
Gods pro,ection must he criminal; tho
pleusurr tor which We daro not thank Him
cannot be innocent.
Seek not so much to know thy enemies
o. friends, for where ono man has fallen by
.f,es. hundred have been ruined by &C.
quaintances.
Tho largest room in tho world under .
single roof and unbroken by pillars or other
obs,r,ction., is a, 81. Petersburg, Russia
Il 10 $50 feet in length, and $50 in breadth.
A f,rier, having facilities for renovs'ins
old firs. advertised, In a perfectly gram.
matjcal manner, "Capes, victohnes, &C..
made up for ladies' out Of their own skins"
An Irish gentleman hearing Of friend
having stone coffin made for himself ex.
claimed, "By me sowI, an that's a good
idee Shurc, an shtone coffin 'ud last =
mun4is lifetime"
"Whcn We picture the hundred or moro
trunks that ladies' travel with, says Punch.
1--WE cannot help rejecting how happy 10
the elephant, whose wife, when on . jour.
ney, has only one trunk"
Adhere always rgidly and undsvissinly
to the truth but, while you express what
Is true, express It In aplcasing manner.
Truth Is tho picturc-tbe manner b tho
frame thst displays It to advantage.
A Methodist exborser, recently hswailing
the coldne.s Of his flock in religious mat.
,ers, said, very curly, that the church
members Of late attended too much to tho
conversion Of seven.thinies.
The Mayor Of town in tho West Of
England, questioning tho boys at the rag.
ged schools, asked them what wero tho
pomIs and vanities Of this wicked world.
A little boy said: "Thc mayor and copo.
ration going to church, sir" .u...,
MY DEAR" said smiling spouse TO her
other half am going down to tho storo.
TO do little shopping to-day, and want little
change" "Pooh !" responded the savage.
"thu, would be no change at all; you 80 a
shopping every day."
A gentleman. who takes eor'mon.ssn's
views Of things, being recently asked his
opinion of poetic individual, replied: I'D
l,c Is one Of these men who have sosrinGs
after the infinite, and diyings aner tho un.
fathomabIs bat who never pay cash.
"what are YOU doing there, Jane"
"Why, pa, arm going to dye my dolls
dress rcd."
aBut wba, have you got 10 dye with ,"
"l,ecr."l ' '"'
..who on earth told you ths, beer would
dye rcd'"