The Cadiz sentinel. [volume] (Cadiz, Ohio) 1864-1911, 1867-02-13
CADIZ OHIO WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13 1851
SqueaIOrbuSt, or EIuke AIiIEer's
Marriage,


Marriage.
| There was wet rain sloH'y on2ing from 0
distant clutd that huhg melancholicay over
the western hemisphere, and dull monotony
reiened savagrly arcund The snbarba OF
Pinhok, which is in the State uf the Eli
noy
Fluke Mller's sister, Polly Ann, at last
broke the dead silence of the stately man
sion known as Rural Shanty" by exclaim-
ing ''she never hearn Of the like that Fuke
was love,iek arter Tempy Timbercht!'
Now this was serious old joke to con
template, but, nevertheless, absolutely tue
as preaching.
Fiuke Miller was an exceptiouablc young
gentleman Of twenty-five years existence,
although his untring efforts end close prog
unity to actual bnsincss-hc chopped cord,
wood-made him appear much more ad
vanced down the Slipe of years. H...
FIUke had never Travelled to excess, but
by some remarkable good luck he got an
idea Of matrimonial felicity, and Of course
became enamored Of Miss Tcmpy Timber.
cut and she dotted on him as no othe young
lady could under the conflicting crcumstanc-
eS. ...s.as.... 49,
Well. Flule was determined to embark
with his Tcmry on tempestuous voyage
for life. taking her as his bunk. mate Now
Tempy was a very 'all. serious young lady
as can be readily inferred by the unlucky
cognomen attached to her beautiful self;
and. OF course, of natural consequence,
she was not encountered with any sort of IA
burdeusome fortune. We ascertained that
her father was once on the "quivive," but
he became financially deranged by HAVING to
pay heavy damage incurred by his flying
on the handle" ard killing large speci-
men Of the canine paternity belonging to d
respectable old gentlemen Of color.
SO II Is very apparent to our apprecative
reader that Miss Iempy was pretty hard up
about the time that Fakes passion smote
his inwardS.
In the meantime Fluke got things mixed
M ST thrt he deemed simple declaration
expedient So he TRANQUILITY approached
his mother shebang, clad in his gihgham
suit, and covered by crowuless chip hat,
which wgS very fashionable then-in De-
ccmbtr. He stood before his grayed haired
mother, who had reared him from an infan-
cy to be the great, tlightful man that he
is He said he had a faint idea Of chang
the programme Of affairs in relation to sin
gle blrsSedness-that he hid determined to
shut himself up from the cold shnuldered
world, and assume the responsibility of
d0ublegeared d conditions.
Old Mrs Miller elevated her spccks and
squeaed out, My starsl"
Fluke didn't wait for further ceremony,
hut made some rapid pedestrian maneuvers
toward Tempy' domicile. 'i1e dropped in
and found her chopping backlog for the
front paror fire, when he dropped on his
knees before he , and tuiI her that he loved
her.
Throwing the upper part of his body for.
ward, his knees still IN the ground, he was
about to kiss her feet She, tancying that
he intended to examine the style Of garters
which she wore, leaptd nimbly behind him.
Quickly raising the AK, she gave him TIC
mendous whack, with the blunt side of it,
on that part of his person where his pants
were very tightly drawn.
This striking hint induced Fluke to beat a
retreat. With broken heart, and dam,
aged funny bone, he returned to his mother
and told the sad tale of woe.
Now Iemry mistook his meaning, and
when >he saw her lovely Fluke throwing
space aud open country between them at
alarming rapIdity, she grew disconsolate,
and large tears went fanking each other
down her checks until an unmaDageable del
uge flowed on the premises. Finally she
simercd
Poor Fuke became exasperated, and
started for Central Africa He bid last
fond adieu to the grim spot that had given
him an unlucky birth. He swore vengeance
considerably, and finally sped away broken
down in spirit, and nearly gone up the
spout.
Temry stood oftcnly on the very brink of
the goose -pond-she meditated self-destruc.
ton, no doubt-and wept
But one night, as the forked and streaked
lightning shot majestically across the be.
glimed and blackened heavens, and deep
toned thunder Knocked the frail cannon's
nocturnal murmurings, while the yellow,
grim clouds rolled up like massive scroll, |
and the terrific winds swept down NATURES !
pride. and left old earth as bare as a young |
rat. Tenpy blew Off and lost herself dmid |
the debris of the wind trolic.
Flake returned from Central Africa much |
changed He had been gone nearly two !!
weeks. lie advertised ior Tcmry. and she |
read the advertisement, and came flying to |
meet him. They met. He jumped against
the ceiling and to his pants, and made ma
ny joyful demonstrations that seemed very
appropriate for one 50 outrageously hap
py.
The day was sooner or later named. and
to dead certainty they became entangled
lor the remainder cf their natural lives.
They took esch other for better or for
worse, and in my candid opinion a worse
pair could not be found this side Of Sarato.
&c.
After larse intervening years we are
able to chronicle FlukG Miners success. -
ae has made raise. We saw him last
week leading his gentle spouse to country
church. She was possessed of dilapidal-
ed waterfall one cob pipe, and nine chill
dreD Fluke was corrying three OF the last
named articles in his frms and on bis
back. a triumphant smile iii b the CON
tracted features Of his phz. and such is
life, for mans man for a'that.
-----.-zze~-~~~--tnss---
y WICKED was says tho reason young