davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1867-07-04
A snuT Lovers win.

Dame Margaret Thompson's last will
and testament was something unique -
1t set forth that, as it was usual TO put
hvwers into the coffns of departed
friends, and she never had found any
flowers so fragrant aud refreshing as
the precious powder, her trusiy servant
Sarah was to take care her body was
covered with the best Scotch snuff
Six men, the greatest SNUFF takers in
the parish, were to carry her to the
grave aud the half dozen old maids
selected to act as pal.-benrers were to
be supplied with boxes of suafF, where
with TO refresh themselves on the road
The officiating clergyman was to be paid
four guineas upon condition that he
walked in the procession, aud "took a
certain quantity, not exceeding one
pound, OF the same. Sarah's legacT
depended upon her carrying out the
wishes of the testatrix--Strewing the
threshold of the house in Boyle street
with two bushels Of snuff, and walking
before the corpse for the purpose of
distributing every twenty yards large
handful Of Scotch snuff 10 the ground
aud upon the ground" Lastly, 10 eve
~ legacy bequeathed by Dame Thomp.
son was attached gift of one pound Of
"the grand cordial Of nature." The
sex added a foil to every obvious
grace" down to the days Of the Regen-
cyl Queen Charlotte herself was dear
lover Of pinch, and kept her box well
filed with the best Spanish or violet
strasbrrg mixed with green tea, and, of
course, as long as the first lady in the
land set such an example, fashion saw
nothing unladyiee in feminine snufing
ca mJers JonrRuL
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1867-07-04

n Got the. tobacco can, but on ascertain
ing that the salt cellar bad been empiied
into it, made up our mind that we
wouldn't smoke
We concluded we'd better 20 TO bed.
and started to pick our way through the
mass Of things piled up aud scattered.
Stumbled over the long rocker Of o
chair and barked our shin. Returned
no answer to an interrogas,.ry as to why
'we didn't break our l:eek p Re
peatcd "Now lay me" aud turned in.
Have a strong constitution, which
enables us tn bear great deal of sleep,
aud always pay strict attention to our
sleeping, didn't know anything till
morning
Went down stairs aud found wife get
ting breakfast, with tears in her eyes.
Told US "she was deceived in the
house if she had known what il was,
she never would have moved into il, I"
and that she never would b. able 10
settle" in il.
This settled us ; aud declining to par
take Of the frugal morning meal which
had been provided eve remember the
supper we took our departure, promi-
sing to call in the early part of the en-
suing week, when things had been put
to rights"
And VIC mean to.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1867-07-04
A wild cas- story.

a correspondent Of tde Columbia
(fenn.) Herald, writing from Wayncs-
boro, tells the Following:
A rather strange circumstance oe-
cured few miles from this place a
week or two ago the family of Mr. Ja-
cob MeAiillen were aroused by the
howling Of a calf in the yard near the
house. Mr.. NJ. went out with his gun,
accompanied by his wife with light.
Ou arriving at the place Of action, they
saw hinge wild cat attempting to kill
tho calf. Mr. McMillen levelled his
rife aud fred. The shot missed, and
the cat sprang upon Mr. NJ. and his
wife they retreated into the house,
followed by the furious auinial. Ii
sprang upon Mrs NJ, tearing her arms
and biting her hand dreadfully. II
then jumped upon a child aud at last,
after gun aud several chairs were bro.
ken in the skirmish, the animal was
killed in the house II had wounded
two calves and killed several chickens,
and the night previous a,cow was badly
hurt near MIR, McMilleus house, sup
posed to have been done by the same
cat. This is one Of the most wonder.
ful cat stories | ever heard, butts truth
cannot be doubted.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1867-07-04
"AsY ONE WILL DO.,,

A maiden once, of certain age,
To catch a husband did engage,
But, having passed the prime of life
In striving to become a wife,
Without success, she thought il time
To mend the follies Of her prime.
Departing from the usual course
Of paint, and such like, for resource,
With all her might, this ancient maid,
Beneath an oak.tree knelt, and prayed;
Unconscious that grave old owl
Was perehed above-tbe mousing fowl
"oh, give husband giver' she cried,
While yet may become bride.
Soon will my day Of grace be DER,
And then, like many muids before,
I'll die without an early love,
And none to meet me there siloye"
'sOh J iis aiaie too hard to beAri
Ihen answer this, my humble prayer,
Aud, oh a husband give to me T.
just then the owl, from out the tree,
In deep base tone, cried, "Who.-who-
who n
''Who, lord? And dosl thou ask me who
Why, any one, good Lord, will dot
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1867-07-04
A Prescntimenf.

On Thursday evening lady Of Troy,
sitting in her room, was instantaneously
oppressed with the conviction that her
little son had fallen from the window
10 his sleeping apartment to the ground
below. She repcllcd the ethought, as an
impcssibility. in a few moments more
il flashed upon her mind with such
force that she could not resist il. She
hurried to the bedside Of her son, and
there, to her intense horror she dis
covered the lad sleeping upon the win.
dow sill, the window open, his head pro.
jecting outside---hc was on tho very
point Of falling to the pavement below
Who can explain this phenomenon,
which is unquestionably true
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1867-07-04

ss5~ A young sprig Of the law, just
commencing practice II one Of tho
Southern States, determined 10 make q
hit with his .snaiden speech." and
thereby put the noses of the older CO.
temporaries out Of Joint. lie there
fore volunteered In The case Of a poor
man who had been guilty Of sticking a
knife into one Of his ncighbors hogs,
and commenced his speech In the FOL.
lowing manner:
"Your Honor the Judge, and gen
tlemen Of the Jury, While Europe Is
deluged in blood while classic Greece
is struggling for her rights and liber-
ties while the chosen few OF the de-
generate Iberia are waving their burn
ing swords in the sunlight Of Liberty !;
while America is standing forth the
brightest orb in the political sky; I
with due deiersnce am here to acfssd
tAe cause ef a Axmble hog thieffv I,
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1867-07-04
GIImpse nehlna she slasl..

A eolored Baptist minister at Beau
fort $. G., writing to the Ciristian
Rerom among other things says -
''some Of our white ministerial friends
do more in the way Of procuring farms
aud keeping our poor race in ignorance
than anything else. They pretend.
when they afe North, that they would
come down and do anything for our
race 10 the way Of enlightening them I,
but instead of this, when they see the
cotton COG, they forget AL about Christ
and Him crucifod, aud the saving of
souls OF certain Northern merchants,
he says GAN they wish 10 do, is teach
what President Lincoln has done, pat
the colOred man on the shoulder with
the left hand, while with the right hand
they catch hold Of his pocketbook.--
And when they have got the last cent
from him, their friendship suddenly
ceases Then he is only nigger.,b
We suspect that the "colored brother
in this Instance reveals more truth than
poetry in reference TO the practices Of
reverend politicians. They are Satan's
vice gereu.s on earth, and 90 about like
roaring lions, seeking to dcvour some
body "Pet lambs" and cotton bales
had better be kept under key while they
are about.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1867-07-04

TsA. The llestoH Post recently refer
red to Mr.. Stevens new work on ..cou-
6scationP in the following gentle Ian
guage
The aniiable Mr Thadieus Stevens
continues his epistolary exercise, where
10 be displays as much patriotism and
courage as he did When he rebelled
against the State government Of Penn
sylvanin, Jumped from the State House
window and ran away from his confed-
crates and as much wisdom and states-
inanship as when be undertook By an
act OF Congress to make paper currency
equal in value to gold. He complains
of a diseased body, but II Is his mind
that needs the hesling balm Of kindness
aud reason II il anger, desire for re-
venge that is consuming him-dryiug
up the fountains Of his life and leaving
his heart charred inte blaekncss. To
behold feeble old man movedaoply BY
conyulsiyc spasms Of hate, and breath
only maledictions where Christian
soul would inplore mercy, It is very
melancholy, and can but excite pity for
that pcrvcrse dcpraSity which allows
his spirit to SO nearly approach Its fnal
accountability with Rendish passions
torturiug it to madness,
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1867-07-04
rn Keep .Ern Awake.

Near Newark liged a pious family
who had adopted an orphan, who, by
the way was rather unidentified. lie
had imbibed strict views on religious
matters however, and oace asked his
adopted mother If she didn't think IL
wrong for the old farmers TO come TO
church and fall asleep, paying no better
regard to the service. She replied she
did Accordingly, before going TO
Church the next Sunday, be filed his
pocket with apples. One baldheaded
old man who invariably went 10 sleep
during the sermon, particularly attrac-
ted his attention. Seeing him at last
nodding, and gisingthe usual evidence
of being in the '.laud Of dreams,D he
took the astonished sleeper blow with
an apple on the top Of his bald pate
Tee minister and aroused congregation
at once turned round and Indignantly
gazei at the boy, who merely said to the
preacher, as be took another apple in
his hand, with a sober, honest expires.
sion Of eouutcnanee, "You preach; III
keep en- awake p
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1867-07-04
ID 4 Western sabbath School 4 bc

Iu Western Sabbath School boy
was asked to give an account of Moses.
Moses, said the boy, was born en- the
banks Of the Nile IN q basket. As the
iutant lay in the basket, concealed IN
she bushes, a huge crocodile came swin,-
ming along and approaching him, said:
'sDloses, almost thou pcrsnadest me to
be . Christian Whereupon the in
FAINT stretched out his little arm toward
the crocoaile and said; sysriiy, thou
at the man
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1867-07-04
A Moving Story.

mas becu moving Hear him
Yesterday was the first day Of May
and everybody, except those who were
so unfortunate as 10 own their own
houses-thereby being liable at any
time to be sent 70 tho State Prison for
the taxes-moycd.
We moved.
And it was the most moving sight We
ever saw.
Our readers ought to have seen the
scene.
Our folks commenced pulling up and
tearing down the traps a week ago.
Most of the "pluuder" was thrown 10.
to heap and Jumped of into loads,
with total disregard Of ordinary rules.
The paregoric and hive syrup aud
vial were packed in our new hat, one Of
j. w Reeds latest and best.
The castor bottles were placed in our
other boots, it being SO handy TO carry
them by the loops. The stopper came
out Of the one containing catsup, and
the top Of the mustard concern was
broken or
That is the best seasoned pair Of
boots we ever had.
The other family insisted upon com
ing into the house before we got out.
And so things got mixed up some
But We got everything that belonged
to us at last.
The carman swore because the cock
stove was so heary, and one e'said "d=-d
il he'd have it if We offered il to him. y
Didn't offer il to him, but offered
both Of them a drink out of quarter
barrel of ale nearly full, standing in the
kitchen.
They took it very kindly, but il
made them very thirsty all the forenoon
Guess the spiegot must have got Out
of the barrel on the road, for we conduit
squeeze half glass out last sight.
Finally got moved.
Thought il better to have our supper
before we tackled the bcdstcad aud the
back room stove.
Commenced playing put up bcdstead
Its fun, when you ike il.
Bat people don't like it mostly.
None of the blasted rails would fit
Got the wrong ones iuto the wrong
posts, and couldn't screw them up.
Marked them all with n pencil before
we took them down, aud thought we'C
know how they went together again; bu
somebody wiped the marks all out.
And there we were.
Better half suggested that one at our
time of life ought to have more patienc,
and gave it as her opinion that W,
couldn't swear the beastead together.
Found that we couldn't.
Finally got EN- up, four Of 'em, and
commenced putting the cords on.
Cords broke aud We had to tic them
together.
The knots wouldn't slip around the
pegs, aud We couldn't draw the rop,
tight.
More remark by the childs mothet
on the subject Of profanity.
Did..'t pay any attention to her, ant
ihus succeeded IN getting through with
the bed.
Then vcut down and ''harnessed" tn
stove.
The legs all Cell,out when we tried {,
lift 1t on the zinc, but We got it in posi-
tion at last
1 Two lengths and one, elbow of tn,
pipe missing.
Finally found the elbow IN the bu
reau drawer, and two lengths rolled ul
ia the parlor carpet.
| Got a hatchct aud stick of wood
and commenced pounding the pip,
together.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1867-07-04

A wise man once said There are
three things that viii surprise us whea
We get 70 Heaven; First, to fiud many
there whom We did not at all expect..--
Second, not to find many there whom
we did expect. Third, the greatest
wonder will bc 70 find ourselves there.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1867-07-04
EXCELSI0Rl EXCELsIORl.
CHASTRLLAR'S
Hair Exterminator !! |!

of KENO WING SCPERFLt'0JiS HaIR.
To the ladies especially, this invaluable
aeIaas9ty recominends itself as being IN
amos, indispensable article tofemalc beasiy,
7 eas,ty applied; does not burn or injure The
skin, but acts difecsly on the roots. II *
warranted 70 remove superduons hair rom
low forehnads, or frotn any part of ia bedy'
completely, totally and radically exi;rps,in@ e
the same leaving the skin soif. smooth and
NATURAL This is the only article used by the
French, and isthe only real cfIecfnal dep;js
tory IN existence, Price 10 cents per Pack
azc, sent postpaid, 10 any address, on receipt
OF an order, hy
BERGER, SHUTS 4 Co, Chemists,
scba'ly as5 River ST. Troy, n. X.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1867-07-04

: tTQminy, my son" said fond moth
er, do you say your prayers night and
morning n ~Yes, that Is, AZ nights,
but any smart boy can take caro- Of
himseif IN the daytinle.a
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1867-07-04

When sally's arms her dog imprisop.
| alwnys wish my neck was his'n how
'oitcn would | stop and turn, 70 get a
pat from 4 baud iike hsrA aud when
She kisses Towser's uose, oh don't |
wish thai we're those
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1867-07-04
In extreme cases Of Debility and Impotence
BELLS EXTERNAL REMEDY.

Price Two Dollars, sufficient for month, can
be used 70 good advantage.
II gives Strength 10 the Organs aud, with
the Pulls, will restorc them 10 their normal
condition.
A Pamphlet Of 100 pages, on the ERRORS
OF YOUTH, designed as a Lecture aud Caution
to Young Men, sent free, Ten Cents required TO
pay postage.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1867-07-04
GUANo's,
NNNA The Great Cause
IA. Human Misery.

~ Jsst Pabiisaed. IL Sealed Igarsiope.
Price SIR cents.
A LECTURE on the Nature, Treatment. rud
IN Radical Cure Of Seminal weakness, or
Spcrmatorrh9a, induced by Self Abuse Inyol-
untary Emissions, Impotency, Nervous Dsbili-
~, and Impediments to Marriage generally /:
ConsumptioD, Epilepsy, and Fits; Mental and
Physical lncapacity, &c-By ROB. J. Gull
nkRwELL, N. D., Author of the "Green
Book" dc.
The worldrcnowned author, IN this admira-
bic Lecture, clearly proves from his own sxpe-
rience that the awful consequences OF Self,
Abuse may be sfFcctnally removed without
medicine, and without dangerous surgical ope-
rstiens, bougics, nstruments, rings, or cordials.
pointing ont mode OF cure stoncc certain and
enectnal, by which every sufferer no matter
what his condition may be NAV cure himself
sheapiy. privately, and radically. THIS LEO
TukE WILL PE0FE A BOON TO TUoiIs.
ASDS AND THOUSANDS.
Sent under seal, % any address. In a plain
sealed envelope, on the receipt Of six ccnts. or
Two postage stamps Also Dr.. CnlyerwelPs
Marriage Guide" price IS cents. Address he
publishers, Wy
ClIAS. J. G. KLINE 4 CO.,
1T Bowery, New York.
apis Post Onice Box 45sG.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1867-07-04
DR.. Bryan's Medicines

L Have on hand for sale the following val.
i able Medicines which are described in
Dr. J. BRyAS's advertisement in the 'iDem.
Advocate
DR.. Bells Specific Pills,
DIR. Harvcys Female Pills,
DIR. Bryan's Life Pills.
DIR. BIS. other medicines con. also be pro.
cured through the undersigned when rcauir-
ed. A, II. HUBER,
Druggist, Westminster, Nd.
nov 2a,-.f y ~
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1867-07-04
Bell's Tonic Pills

Are recommended as the most Fhicaclous, Re.
ju'rating and luyigoratng Remedy in the
world.
A Package. Price Five Dollars. will last a
month, and il generally suiliccut.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1867-07-04

kMED1. sthn be cHft7l. '
Rerience, and the, great r.
ffcm All psrts ofthe world
ndard and reliable remedy
Bronchitis. Nervous Debii-
Liver Complaint Pains in
al diseases Of the Air Pas
DR. swAYNI 4 Son. /,
pet, Philadelphia. %1 }
WM. REESE,
Westminster,
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1867-07-04
|coRDfAL,

"A compleie stock at
Hood 4 Thomas.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1867-03-20

GoueH's DESCRIPTION OF Cold WATER
Look at that liquid which has been produced
from the clear dis,illery of nature holding up
aglass of water. 'The Eternal Father of us
ell has brewed it for his children. 1t has been
produced, not in filthy distileries, but in beau,
n1tul, fragrant places. It has been brewed
down in yon grassy dell, where the deer linger,
and the ripping rills sing their wild lullaby !;
9I Or away upon the mountain tops, where the
SSlazlus sun has lighted it up with heavenly
a'e;; or afar of upon the ocean, where showers
and storms are born. It sparkles 10 the ice
gem, Il makes the graceful frost tissue on
Rhlch the moonlight plays. It dallies in the
cataract; weaves the snow-Wreath and the en-
;a sfaId sitting on the mountain peak. IL never
,1lures, but always does good. 1t is blessed
iil'sys, at evening and at morning. It Is ever
GTe33eacent and kind God makes it glorious,
ns1e ntase and drink. Take the pure LIQUID which
Sod, our father, gave ps. Take it as it is
'''sht, beautiful aud blessed.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1867-03-20

4 CAsE.-There is now coming 10 light a
class of 7illainies which startle and confuse
even such staunch Radical journals as the New
York Tribune. The dungeons are giving up
their secrets We are reading, one by one,
the histories and the sequels OF those mysterl-
ols imprisonments which shocked men during
the last three years OF the war.
In 1869, Mr.. Hawey D. Clapp OF New I iork,
was accused of improper dealings with the re-
cruits from New York. To use the more Wig
orous than elegant expressions of the tribune
"Ar. Clapp was suddenly jerKed up and Hung
months without trial or investigation. At
length he was thrust ont and, being still under
prosecution, he, instead OF giving bail, deposit
I'd the amount required in the Mechanics and
Clerks Savings Bank; commencing suit
therefor, lin order to bring the main question
TO issue as promptly and squarely as might be: .
Mr.. Clapp has just been acquitted, and the
authority which pronounces him innocent con-
Guided his judgment as follows:
II am, therefore, clearly Of the opinion that
the plaintiff, Clapp, is entitled to full and COM
plete eyoneration from the charges made
against him, and to q return Of the money
which he was compelled to deposit in order to
ransom himself from an unjust Imprisonment.
III w. ROBINSON. "
Thus, after four years imprisonment, oblo-
guy calumny and outrage, citizen is inform
ed that he may take the money which he de-
posted as a guarantee of of his innocence that
be was unjustly incarcerated, and may hold up
his head among honest men. And the amiable
Jscobin Of the Tribune pathetically adds:
Whoever has reproached or condemned
Mr.. Clapp because of the ,mputations and pro-
csediugs to which he has been subjected in the
premises, must now consider him fully yindi-
Gated"
selah !-Richuuond Erdul1iner
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1867-03-20

lhe Richmond Examiner compares the cour-
S SSse OF Sumner in his warfare upon the helpless
'oath, to that of SirJohn Falstaf, Sir john:
D. Ioundsl / am afraid Of this eunpowder
as'cy, though he be dead How if he should
sssaall,t,erteit, too and rise2 l am afraid he
1r'gusa 1'uu prove the better counterfeit Therefore,
Il "a IL make him sure; yea and I'll swear | kill
'u aim
,,.aedl ana thereupou, be stabs the corpse, and
as1;e,, aLa!s, and stabs agaia! So, with Sumner. He
5I'gatS h. e to stab, and stab again the corpse of
s suSs uSSsouth
il. me me better part of yalor is discretion; in
@S SiSs Sach better part [ have saved my life T.
" Jtst da0t, again, brave Summer Hotspur is real
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1867-03-20
TJCEl NOT-I Gel
NOTlCE

. 7 I = u ! ! 7 -
The subscriber takes this opportunity of in
forming his friends that he has removed his
Drug Store from 224 King street to 220, doorss
east The premises to which he has removed
are much m ore convenient, and he will be able
to keep larger assortment Of
DRUGS, CHEMICALS,
PATENT MEDICINES,
Perfumery, Spices, Paints, Oils, Garden Seeds,
&c, SC. He also ia kes this opportunity of sta
ting that he has reduced the price of AL kinds OF
goods at both No. 80 and 220, King street, to
meet the present stringency Of the times, and
hopes by putting his goods down to the lowest
rates at which they can be sold, to merit q llo-
eral share Of the public patronage as heretofore
Don't forget the number, 220 and 30, King st.
feb Is HENRY COOK.