The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1867-10-31
HUMOROUS.

I" MY son, | believe the devil has got
hold of you ta''I believe so to, was
the reply. Htae23
A little boy, seeing a man PROSTATE
before the door of a groggery, opened
the door, and putting in his head, said
to the proprietor, See here, sir, your
sign has fallen down. y : T
i" There's only two ways Of getting
along with the restaurant servants"
says Bluster, 'teither scold iein we'll
or fee lem well, One ia kes' nerve, the
other takes money. I've got more
nerve than money, SO | scold EN-"
+" Woman is delusion? ?" exclaimed
crusty old bachelor to a witty
young LADY, 8 And men are always
hugging some delusion or other, f" was
the quick sretort. ..es .Ff
A lawyer had his portrait taken in
his favorite attitude, standing with
his hands in his pockets. +" It would
resemble him more closely" said an
acquaintance, : if he had his hands in
somebody else's pocket.
One Of the preachers of the Will
liamatic camp-meeting said: There
sits Brother P, who used to be one
of the meanest men in this section of
the country, but the grace of God took
hold of him, and shook him all to
pieces. /" A hearty = Amen was in
dulged IN by the congregation, and
the voice Of the man referred to rang
clear and loud above the rest
ii Rabbi Joshua once met boy who
carried something IN a covered vessel.
My boy said the Rabbi ! what
have you IN. your covered vessel? !"
If it was intended for you to know"
replied the boy, - it would not be
covered. fGoTf h94 'itB7 t-sq 3usii SIC
5d These ladies are like birds that
are on the wing,5 said a humorous
clerk to his employer, as a hevy of
shopping damsels left the shop.
Why so,,' asked the proprietor.
= Because it takes them a long time
to settle upon their purchase, perch
esq replied the clerk The proprietor
saw the point, and was so gratifed at
his own acuteness, that he at once
raised the clerk 3 wages. Ie@.saasr
A kind-hearted lady was once re-
proved quite sharply by friend for
giving money to a. stranger who seem
ed to be. very poor, when he asked for
charity. Suppose he spends the
money for rum?' said the suspicious
friend. The quick and noble answer
was. IF you must suppose at all, why
not suppose that he will spend the
money for bread? Why suppose evil,
when you may suppose what is good
and noble?
AMONG the anecdotes going the
rounds In New Orleans is a good one
concerning an inyeterate topper, with
a nose and face as bloated and bloom
ing as that Of Falstaffss, Bardolph."
This subject. was taken with yellow
fever, and lay, to all appearances, In
the last stages Of the disease. Calling
the doctor tozi his bedside, in faint
tones inquired the prospects of his
recovery Medicus replied that he
Thought it was all up with him. Do
you really think so. .doctor?'' =" Most
undoubtedly [ deslI replied the doe
tor. =" Well. Them says, he, "a new
light daWningz in. his half-open eyes,I
: well, then, if that's so, let's have
some more whi5kv' It was given to
him, and strange to say, he got we'll.
A YOUNG minister went out to
preach, and observed, during his dis
course, a lady who seemed much af-
fected After meeting. be concluded
to pay her visit, and see what the
impressions of her mind were. He
approached'he her thus: 3f
Well, madam, / see you were af-
fected much to-day during preach
ing?"
you. About six years ago, me and
my husband moved to this place, and
ali the property we had was donkey.
Husband he died, and me and the
beast were left alone. At last the
beast died; and, to tell you the truth,
your voice put me SO much in the
mind of that dear old critter, that I
couldn't help taking on and crying
about it right in meeting"
An ill-natured fellow quarreled
with his sweetheart on the day they
were to be married After the cere-
mony was begun, he was asked.
DO you take this woman to be
your welded Wife?'' etc.
He replied, g Nor
sWhatis the reason?" asked the
minister. II 81. .eol3 a iaaa-r
I've taken a dislike to her, and
that's enough was the surly reply.
The parties retired-the bride in
tears-and after much persuasion the
groom was induced to have the mar
rage proceed. It was now the lady;s,
turn, and when the minister asked
the all important question
: Nn1Hn said she resnlnfelu & I've