Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1867-05-09

Washington, Aprl IA, 1867.-It's
done 4! Seward did it-him and me
The Amerkin Eagle hez COZ now to
scream with redoubled energy. Ef
the Nashnel bird wuz angel, i shood
remark to it, "Toon yoor harp anoo,"
but it amt, and, therefore, such re-
kest wood be ridiculous. This rap
sody hez reference to the Rooshen
purchis.
The idea originated in these mas.
sive intellek. When wuz here afore,
the Blairs, all Nv EN-, wuz a crowdin
the sainted johnson for a mishun
Cowan wanted mishun, and SO did
Doolittle, and that day pretty much
all Nv the delegates to the Cleveland
and Philadelphy Convenshuns he'd bin
there wantin some kind Nv a place
wat, they wuzn't pertikeler. One gen.
tleman whose nose (Which trooly bios
somed ez the lobster) betokened long
service in the party, urged that he
he'd bin delegate to both Conven-
shens. "Thank God |" sed Johnson
"Wood that them Conversions he'd
bin made up Nv the same men. !
wood then hev bin bored for places
only half ez much ez | hev."
| wuz helpin him out in my weak
way. When the crowd wantin pla.
ces become too great for human en-.
doorance, l would say, in a moderit
tone, "let's go out and git suthin,
and to-wunst fully half wood exclaim
''Thank 700, don't keer eff | do" II
wuz great relief to johnson, but
wuz pizen on me. With the most Nv
EN-, the gittin NV offises and free drinks
wuz about an ekal thing. The ofises
they wanted wuz merely the means
to the pertikeler end, and SO long e2
they wuz gittin the latter without the
trouble Nv the former, they wuz con.
tent. A good constooshen and cop,
per lined stumick carried me thro this
tryin ordeal, until | came across a
Boston applicant, who, in conscience
Nv the perhibitory law, he'd bin for
some time on short rashens, and wuz
keen set. Napoleon he'd then met his
Wellington, and l succumed. The
mans talent wuz wonderful.
Secretary Seward wuz in trouble
about the Blair family, pertikerly.-
He did his level best for EN-. He he'd
appinted EN- to Collekterships and
furrin mishuns, but the crooel SENT,
which he'd no respeck for US, took de-
lite in fastenin Nv EN- onto US by per-
petyooally rejectin EN-. Jest after a
long seige by Montgomery and the
old man, l sejestid the purchis Nv the
Rooshen Territory, to which not only
they could be sent, but thousand
Nv others wich we had on our hands,
and the Sekretary wuz SO pleased
that he wept like child. With a
vigger wonderful in one so old, he set
about gittin testimonials ez to the
valyoo Nv the territory, to infooence
the SENT in ratifyin the treaty he wuz
agoin to make. And he wrote to a
naval ofiser about it, who answered
more promptly than ever knowd a
naval offiser to do, ez follows
"It's trooly splendid county
The trade in the skins Nv white bears
kin be, eff properly developed, made
enormous There is seals there, and
walruses so tame that they come up
Nv their own accord to be ketched.
"P. SIN case the purchis shood
be made, a naval stashen will be nee
essary. May l hope that my long
services on the Floridy Coast would
prove suffishent recommendation for
the command Nv the depot May | ?
81 hev the honor to be-" &c,
A distinguished Professor wrote
"The climate is about the style Nv
that they hev in Washington The
Gulf Stream sweeps up the coast,
causing decided twist in the iaoth-
ermal line, which hez the effeck Nv
making it ruther sultry than other.
wise. Anywheres for six hundred
miles back Nv the coast strawberries
grow in the open air. | recommend
strongly the purchis.
"P. Sin case the purchis is made,
a explorin expedishen will be neces-
sary. May hope that my scientiffik
attainments are suffishently well
known to 700 to recommend me as a
proper person to head the expedish-
en-? May /?
81 hev the honor to be-" ct settry.
The President wuzn't favorably in
clined. He wuz full Nv the old fogy
idea that it wuz rather chilley there
than otherwise. He hedn't faith in
the isothermal line, and wuz skeptical
about the Gulf stream. 1t wuz his
experience that the further North 700
got the colder it wuz. For instance,
he remarkt, that while the people wuz
warm toward him in Virginny and
Maryland, last fall, they became very
cold as he got North {! Where wuz
the isothermal line and the gulf stream
then.
Randall, who will hev his joke, re.
markt that the isothermal line twis-
ted. He notist that the people made
it ez hot for EN- ez he wantid it ez far
North ez Cleveland to which Seketary
Welles replied, that it only confirmed
him in the opinion that, for platin yes
sells NV war, iron wuz preferable to
pine plank any time.
Seward removed the Presidents
| L L. j l. II
ters which set forth the beauties
Here wuz whales, and walruses, and
seals, and white bears, and pine ap
Piles, and wheat, and sea lions, and
fields Nv ice the year round, in a eli
mate as mild and equable ez the mer
idan nv Washington. The isotherma
line wuz more accomodatin there thar
in any other part Nv the world. Il
cork screwed throuph the territory sc