The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1867-12-27
Wit aud Namnr.

the market.
"MA, If you will give me an apple I
will be good" mo, my child, you
must not be good for pay--you ought to
be good for nothing"
SOME guilty wretch in the New York
Mail asks: What's the difference be.
tween the manner of death of barber
and asculptor? One curls up and dyes
the other makes faces and busts.
A CLERGYMAN was one day talking
with his landlord, Universalist, on
the personality of the devil. A little
incredulous, the gentleman remarked:
81 should like to see the DEVIL"
Cant you wait ?'' was the quiet re.
ply.
THE statistics of the Lutheran church
made up to the close of the present
year, show that there are 45 synods, ,74s
ministers, 3,lll congregations, and 3jl,-
$50 communicates. The Synod of Penn
sylvania has tho largest number of con-
gregations 900, and $4,000 commune
cants.
a MODERN Amazon on her way 10
convention, asked ior seat IN crowd
eu c"r. All oiu gentleman WIN Keen
eyes lhqulreo: DE you one oithc
woman righters?" 81 be-" answered
the undaunted heroine. "Do you be-
lieve woman has the same rights as a
man ~ 81 dol" lemphatically.) "Well,
'''o"' n'"'i" "p anu c''JoS 'i'e'h iihe
'''''i
A FREEDMAN, on returning home
from the election last week, was asked
what he did. He replied he did not
know any more than child.
"WeQ," inquired his interrogation,
NOW do you know whether you voted
right or wrong?"
' Nno"9 'o'eu Iisn.' cise !
,'''O' '''o iis"' 'iche'' "9 ho o'her couiu
Do p"' ',-"i 4 seeu II trieu. Inc
~ioiis .iche. uouluht go ih'-L"
o'U"9' N""'] H'I'o'fe''
AN allectionate but playful wife in
oprlhgheid, Mass, sent a note to her
husDahd recently, written IN disguis'
eu manu. signed with FICTITIOUS nano,
9'a'iis .ia' 9he nau oiten seen ana att
',i'eu i'i'h' "'Io II ne "ou'd INFORM her
VI" Pi"ce vi iiiee'ing' she wouid GO 10
'"e SPOT ana tney "onio become better
"cqu"i'i'eu' hus."io answered the
''o'e az o''ce' appointing '''i'e ahusPiaee
VI ".ou"s' po'" Par',es met III thc
"ppo,n'e" .,iiie "'u piace' the iauy
! NtiltNl anu DTOcteutu lnt
'oo'is' "heie '''e ven was removed ana
sr"ho 'apieau ho' expected ehsued.
'a".''h'o on .''e part vi the huspahu
VIC. ~ ""a "u'iils oo. JOKE anu that
ne Nn1" ~. ''e .iiiio i. was her' recon-
.neu ','e "i'e' ""o Is h"Sihg slyilsh
ol'.'' ..i,l "o" re''e' ''o"h an" eiegaht
SIN orc'S ni"ue'
DEsERrERs.-A prayer-meeting il
lhe true thermometer OF the chnrch. A
colo prayer-meetlng invariably makes a
cold church; 1t Is Mt once the cause and
the effect OF n sad spiritual declension.
If the place of prayer Is well nigh de-
serted; if the few who are present in
perso" scehi 10 pe absent IN spirit; II
'he iorinai prayers 'hat are rehearsed
are without polnl' purpose, or JUNCTION
then the pastor OF such iioek has
aeundadt cause for heaviness and tears.
His work drags, his truth-seed decays
as it Is 'sown: his spirit faints within
nm. would as soon be the pastor OF
Greenwood Cemetery as Of q congrega-
ton who insulted me Systematically by
asking me to spend my life In preaching
the gospel to immortal souls for whom
they reiilse to pray. The member of a
Christian church who has made his
pubic vow to serve his Master, add yet
"'y"(Y absents himself from the place
OF prayer, Is guilty OF breach of his
covenant lie Is a. rank "a deaerter from
duly as the soldier would be who re-
lused 10 sland III ms place when his reg.
lment was drawn up in line of battle on
the Heid. individual cowardice, when
II becomes general, Kills an army; so
""'f'"""f co'""cSS IN plcty freezes out
prayer-ileetlhg ana Kills n church, -
He'' H. ~ '"V'e''
EVERY DAY PHILosoPHY.-Hans
Patrick {. Connor, formerly known by
the nom de pi'lnc of Beau Hackett,"
contributed the following to the St.
Louis Home JoWmaii
Never Insure your life for the benefit
of your wife for greater sum than ten
thousand dollars. \ widow with more
money Chan that is dangerous legacy
to leave posterity,
, The game life is very like a'game
| Of cards. Time deals, death cuts and
everybody ia waiting for the last
= trump.
p think men drink in crowds because
they are afraid to drink v themsel veS,