Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1867-07-12
scraps.

TIE hdies' pct animals-West Pointers.
Whcu your wife is silent, hold the baby
for her Perhaps 1t Is much as she can
do 10 hold her tongue.
Parton is raking up the dry bones Of Con
lueius lar the ". Y Ledger, and the Post
siys It is COnlucius worse eonfounded.
Among the matrimonial advertisements
lately noticed in a New York Journal, was
for g husband having Roman nose. with
strong religious tendencies.
Josh Billings says 81 never bet any
stamps IN the man who IL always telling
what ho would have did if he had been thare.
have ns,ir--d that this kind never are
tIarc. "
Punch graycly asks IT any reasonable
doubt can be- entertained OF the stability of
bank whose directors always show great
reserve, when questioned about its affairs.
The local of the New Orleans P,cay4ae
announced. lew days ago, that ''the body
Of n new franchise had been found hanging
IN tie woods, and that upon the left arm
Of sad dcfunct franchise there hung bas-
kct Of bleckbcrfles -
4 Prussian schOOlmaster, under a salary
Of $50 year, writes to a Berlin newspaper,
II hear Prussia is about to send 10 the
Paris ExhibihOna model schoOlhOuse. II
Prussia desires to complete the specimen by
sending at the same time 4 schoOlmaster
diving OF hunger, offer to represent to the
| lI!c that other model for very low rate CT
Tay-
\ man IN Montgomery, VT. lost his wife
/ by leath on the 18th Of March, and on the
lst Of April married again. After the no
tice Of the marIi'gc in the local paper, he
had the suggestive saying appended "Pro-
/ crasiination is the thief Of time"
The polished gold, glittcrin. from the up
| Icr incis1rs Of lady, was observed with
admiration by her little niece who by and
| by seriously remarked ''Aunt Mary,
wish had coppcr-toed teeth Ike yours"
The victim Of n.-Robinson-"Ya'as
its very funny :" Joncs-"Then why
the deuce don't you laugh ?" Robinson
MY dear ielhh, would with pleasure, but
iarcn Z display any emotion-thcse trousers
arc 50 tight
Not iar from Susquehanna county, Penn
| sylyana, clergyman, celebrated for his
talent at making blunders, after having
pronounced happy couple man and wife,
concluded the ceremony by wishing them
happy and pleasant journey through, and
lopCd that thcv would be blessed in their
marriage relation as were Abraham and
Sarah IN days Of old Before the company
difused themselves to their respective places
Of abode, youth Of ScrIptursl pursuits in-
formed him that "Sarah was ono hundr,
years old before she larc Isaac - That
was s1i Inc clergyman acknowledged the
corn, and-''then the band played. -
Sir. Scuddcr Is a great jgker. At din
ucr once he was called ON Tor story. lie
said
; Once little girl hunted lar and wide ioI
"a pair Of shoes. She at last only succeeded
in buying pair Of gaiters down lone al
c Icy. Her mother told her they were hn'
Z little croc0dilcs.
y No one laughed No one saw the point
o | Why don't you laugh p said Scudder
Y II LAUGHED ,efcn heard H'-at which th
e table roared, not laughing because Seudde
) had laughed Finally, however. wag sug
5. gcsted
C. Il think the mother intended to call til
m s,es little alIey-gaiters.
g. Well said Scudder, "are not cru
,n coolies and sIligators the same y