Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1867-05-02
WHISKY AND WATER.
CincfnnsstI on a Bender-Gencrai Ec.
M liberalization.

| WHISKY AND WATER.
CIncinns,tI on a Render-Gencral De-
@s mOraiiZatiCn.
/ Deer creek flows into the Ohio at Gin
4 cinnati. 8 On Deer creek have been located
/ whisky distilleries. A fire in these dlstll-
leries the other morning sent large guam
titles of whisky into Deer creek, by which
1t was carried to that point in the Belle
Reuisre where the corporation pumps make
their drafts of fluid for the city's USE Not
being able to distinguish so, not able to
separate-the liquid of the Ohio from the
| liquid of Deer creek, and being compelled
| to furnish something for Cincinnatians to
drink, the pumps aforesaid received the
| beverage thus prepared, and distributed the
same to their regular customers The COM
| sequences of this singular turn of events
| are thus described by tEr Cincinnati
b Times n 4 AH.I ~ tl!'f4.'1 W{ i va
l. "The demonstration which has resulted
ito this community from the mingling of
that Deer creek whisky with the hydrant
water is almost beyond calculation. 1t was
not known for some time why booty at
mosphere seemed to hedge us all about
Men who never drank liquor in their lives,
knowingly, went home for seyerah Gays ia
i succession so bloated that they were hardly
| to be recognized, although they assured
their weeping wives as they helped them
off to bed hain't touched (hic) drop to-
day, ma am-hope'r def have" Then
waking up in the morning with throbbing
| temples and bewildered brain, It hey tried in
vain to recall any occasion during the pre-
yious day when they had wandered away
from. the established principles of a life
| time and taken to the bowl what drugs,
what charms, what COMPUTATIONS, and
what a1aaig1tty magic, y had got them on a
| bust - 4
T. "One aged and highly respectable citi-
zen, who never tasted liquor in his life,
| and consequently could belong to a tenn
perance society with impunity, was seen
winding his way hOmeward the other day,
with his hat jammed down ON the back of
of his head, and his face redolent and jolly,
while he was singing. at
Lan'Or fllr flown bowl,
Foo balls, foo Ihic) balls,
Old Uncle Jolmny's marehin' home.' g
r. : His wife didn't know him at first, as he
entered the house, his countenance was so
changed; and then the ends of that white
cravat, which she always tied herself every
morning with so much care, were flying in
the most outlandish manner about his
left ear; his clothes were uisordered and
oOliCO dua tlldt litb .--SiiC lletO uCfcI SCCl
such a sight in all her born or married
days!
HE. pulled it of, swung it wildly around
his head with a swhopeei' and then SHE'D
1t with scientific exactness upon the bust
of Douglas, giving a horrible grotesque
leer to that late distinguished statesman as
it dropped over his left eye. He offered
to bet two dollars and a half that g he
knew who he was, and could whip any
man that wasn't" then looking round
upon his weeping family with a slight
CLEAN of returning reason, he yelled: g O,
I'm wreck " and, bursting into tears,
besought the Oldest girl to bring in gut
ter for him to 'wallow' in. He felt that
he must wallow. He was lugged UP stairs
to bed, insanely shouting, CUTTERS for
one i"rad - rah aa4t .i7f' 'a9
ct fortunately came out in the papers
the next day lit would have appeared be-
fore, but the editors, who it is known i'm
bibe extravaganza quantities of water, were
incapacitated for work themselves) that
great quantities of whisky had become
mingled with the hydrant water. 1t had
floated down Deer creek from burning
distillery to the river, where the city has
the most complete and effective arrange
ments possible for stepping anything of a
the creek, and pumping it into the rcser-
voir.
"The excellent old gentleman above al
| iuded to had determined TO put an end to
| bis worthless existence when he came to
| full realization Of what he had done; but,
| looking over morning paper TO see if it
| was going to be a very good day for suicides,
| any how, he read about the Deer cree k
! whisky That explained the whole bust
ness at once, and gave him cnewal of
! Life. He danced wildly about the room,
embraced his family with ecstatic joy, and
invited them to join him in a glass of water
| all round ai ~. i.
"Slnce it has become generally known
| that there is whisky in the hydrant water
there has been wonderful increase in
water drinking. People drink it now who
| haven't tasted it before in years. They get
up in the night to drink it. At bars they
call for Deercreek straight The water
works have been compelled to keep all
| their engines at work, pumping day and
night to supply the demand, The old play
| says wine works wonders but it has re-
Gently been demonstrated that water works
wonders also. Ask the water works if it
| don't. Men have been caught filing their
| TASKS with it to take along on a journey
"The effect among the female portion of
the community was scarcely less terrible
| than among the men,. What do you think
of company of nice old ladies getting hi
| larious over tea party-the dear, inno-
cent creatures unconsciously putting them
selves outside of glass of hot whisky in
every cup. The hostess grew rublcund,
hospitable, and presses her guests to try
| just another cup, which they can't refuse,
it is such beautiful tea Where did
| you get it. Is it the Long Arm Chop p
| Zone old lady remarked that she hadn't
tasted such (hic) 'licious team forty
years. Half cup'f please Then, as the
evening wore on, they had toasts with
their tea, and songs, keeping time with
the tea cups, thumpingly, on the table. 1t
was a jolly old party. And then, when
the carriages come to take them home,
! they send word to the old man that they
swon't 60 home till morn'n;' and finally
wind up by smashing all the tea things
| Terrible thing, wasn't it ?-and the dear
old creatures not knowing that barrels on
] barrels of whisky had been pumped into
the hydrants
| Kitchen girls were great sufferers from
the fumes of boiling water Washer-wo-
man all over the city, bending over their
washtubs, which wEre nothing less than
great, wooden bowls of hot whisky punch,
dropped down in a helpless state of intoxi-
cation, and had to be put to bed and dosed
with valerian and assaf9tida pills.
Temperance folks are dismayed. A
lodge of those worthy people attempted to
hold their regular meeting the other night,
not having heard as yet of the Deer creek