davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1867-07-22
COPPER, TIN,
10 T. VI o v A L!
r. sTRLLR. w. <. FRAZI
NEW FIRM.

TIE SUBSCRIBERS HAvISG FORMED A
cTp4rtnershp 'ot the paEpyss Of doing rs-
tail dry gODts aud grocery business, n tie Cd
general assortment VI dry go0ds and gTes1rie.
which will be sold AZ the lowest possibis rates,
and -olirii = continuance Ofths patronage here
iOfOrr ~ literally extended the Old irm.
STKLLE A. FRAZIER
SaceessOrs 20 y. II. Garrison.
TKrsDyLFfIi &. April !, l5G7.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1867-07-22
4 CARD.

hsre I'D dAy soid ny entire stock Of ge6ds
To STELLE 4 FRAZIER. and recommend
thsIn 10 ny old custom and 10 the public g>rer
ally, and solieit fOr them . liberal share Of the
patronage have heretofore received
March . issST SrndkW ". GAKRISDS.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1867-07-22
John TEECE,

NTALsTER AND HOP DEALER,
WI Water Street, Centre Wheeling, West
Virginia. HI -hest cash price paid for Barley.
The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1867-07-22
iSCELLANEOUS.
CRISPER COMA.
CRIGPER C0MA

Oh +! she was beautiful and fair,
With starry eyes, and radiant hair,
Whose curling tcndrils soft, eRtwincd,
Unclaimed the very heart and mind.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27


a trustworthy gentleman gives us an ac-
count of an extraordinary illness of q
young woman-a Miss Winsor in Provi-
dcnce, X. l.-quite similar in many of its
features to the phenomenal case in Brook
lyn which we have published in detail
Miss W. has been confined to her bed for
several months, and has not partaken of
sufficient nourishment to keep her alive if
she had been in normal condition. Yet
her faculties have became strangely acute,
and she seems to be endowed with a spe-
ces of second sight. When the physician,
DR.. Barrow, calls on her, she can tell the
number of visits he has made, the numbers
of the houses of his patients, and describe
accurately their complaints.
The clock having been removed from
| her chamber she was enabled to determine
at any hour the exact time of day or right,
and she would desert be the color, size and
marks Of the doctors horse and the hue
and the texture of the Innings Of his car.
riage. She composed a poem which she
called the Sea Serpent, one-half of each
line in Latin and the rest in English, which
was pronounced by the professors of Brown
University pure Latin, although she had
never had the least instruction in the
language. She also draws finely without
having taken lessons, and does other ex.
traordinary things not to be accounted 70,
by any Of the known laws of temperament
medicine or science. While asleep her
right arm is constantly in motion, though
it is perfectly powerless when she is awake
\ number Of the physicians and savans ol
Providence are deeply interested in the
case Of Miss Winsor, and are endeavorina
to solve the mystery Of her seeming super
: natural powers.-N Y. Gazette, Feb. II
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27

DAD MoRToN's BEsT-Uncle Morton,
better known at Hyde's, in Sudbury, Vt,
as dad, is famous story-teller in both
senses of the word, for he not only tells
many, but they are generally of the most
Munchausenish kind. In fact he draws
so long bow in the way of romance, that
being nearly ninety years Of age, he now
repeats his old tictions as indisputablo
facts. The following is too good to bo
lost, and | give it verbatim. l only wish
| could give you the matter of-fact- on oath
manner in which he impresses its truth. -
| had been talking with the old man on
the sensible manners and customs of our
forefathers, and their success in doing
the business Of life, when he broke out
''Ill tell We, them ancestors of our'n
didn't do nothin Railways. But there's
an awful fallin' off since them times
Why, in my time, when was boy. thing
went on more economical than now. We
all worked. My work was to take care of
the hens and chickings, dad is famous for
his handling of the alphabet and I'll tell
yer how | raised EN-. You sec Use very
thinkin' child, alas thinkin' 'cept when
Use sleep. Well it came on me one night
to raise big lot of chickings from one
hen and I'll tell you how did it. I took
an old whisky barrel, filled it with fresh
eggs. and then put it on the south side Of
the barn, with some horse manure around
it.. and then set the old hen on the bung-
hole. The old crtter kept her sittin', and
in three weeks l heerd little peep
Then put my ear to the spigot. when the
peeping growed like a swarm of bees. I
did say anything to the folks about the
hatchin', for they'd all the time told me
was a fool, but the next mornin' knocked
the head out of the barrel, and covered the
barn floor. two feet deep, all over with lit
tie chickinss. Now you may laugh Us
much as you please, but it's true"
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27

ssT.... r..vu, t.. a, v1u 0unIaAI
who lived near the f,nntior dn,ints thu last
war with Great Britain, and possessed q
marvellous propensity to learn the news,
used frequently to make inquiries of the
soldiers. On one occasion she called to
one Of those defenders of our rights whom
she had frequently saluted before.
"Whats the news ?'
"Whv, my good woman said he, "the
Indians have fixed crow-bar under lake
Erie, and are going to turn itover and
drown the world!'
ooh, mercy, what shall l do p and
away she ran to tell the neighbors of the
danger, and to inquire Of her minister how
such . calamity might be averted.
why, said he, ''you need not be alarm
ed--we have our Makers promise that he
will not again destroy the world by water
~ know that" returned the old lady,
hastily; she's nothing to do with it, it's
them plaugy Indians"
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27

Young ladies', to be healthy, smart, and
consequently useful in and after their gem
Grafton, should observe the following pre-
requisites
Never cramp or unduly press any portion
Of your body or limbs with your dress.
Wash your skin thoroughly once q week
only, with warm water and sosp; wash
your feet twice day, morning and night,
IN the eoldest water you can get use veg
etables freely as portion Of your food
cut but little animal food Of any kind let
your suppers be light and quite simple
retire to bed early and rise with the sun
take moderate exercise in the morning air;
drink glass Of cold water the first thing
in the morning; never drink moro than
one cup Of coffee or tea at meal, and let
that be weak be at ease for an hour or
so after eating: let your reading be such
as will instruct your intellect, and elevate
and ennoble your moral and religious sem
timent view novels as your worst enemies;
never be without some regular, systematic
work on hand, by which you can turn your
attention at any time to good account to
think it no task but a pleasure, to see to,
and if necessary, do many of the kitchen
and household duties.
Ii you wish to obtain a finished educG-
tion, however, we would suggest the fol-
lowing, as likely to conduct to that end.
Take great pride in being told that you
are pretty cultivate an undue love for
dress-tight, tighter, tightest; accustom
yourself SO much to visiting and pleasure
that you are never happy at home; allow
yourself to read nothing but novels study
all the accomplishments of life but none of
the utilities be satisfied to remain in the
most profound Ignorance of the laws Of
your health and the mysteries of house
keeping; consider it vulgar, and out Of
taste to so to bed before ten or eleven at
night, or to rise before eight or nine in the
morning; and finally marry-for there ev-
cry thing else centers-some "whiskered
gentleman about town." whose income is
infntessimal compared with his outgoes
and if you have not finished, we will give
up that we know nothing of the tendencies
of an education.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27
A Lover.

Lover.
"What are you singing for?" said to
Mary Maloney.
''Oh, don't know, ma an, without it s
because my heart feels happy
"Happy, are you, Mary Maloncy?-
Let me see; you don't own foot of land
in the world
"Fut of land, is it," she cried with a
hearty Irish laugh. ''Oh, what hand ye
be after for joking; why hasn't a penny,
let alone the land"
''Your mother is dead"
"God rest her soul, yes,' replied Mary
Maloney with touch Of genuine pathos,
''may the angels make her bed in heaven
"Your brother is still a hard case, | sup
pose.'
"Ah, you may we'll say that. It's moth
ing but dhrink, dhrink, dhrink, and batin'
his poor wife, that she is-the creature y
'lou have to pay your little sister
board.'
"Sure, the bit of crater, an she's a
good little girl, is IIinny, willin' to do
whatever axes her. l don't grudgc the
money that goes for that"
you haven't many fashionable dresses
either, Mary Maloney.'
fashionable, is it? o. yis, I put a
piece of whalebone in me skirt, and me
calico gown looks as big as the great ladies.
But then ye says true; l hasn't but two
gowns to me back, two shoes to me feet,
and one bonnit to me head, barrin the old
hood ye Civ me.
you haven't any lover, Mary Maloney.
%, be of wild ye-ketch Mary Maloney
gettin' lover these days when the hard
times is come. No, no, thank heaven,
amt got that to trouble me yet--nor |
don't want it. There was me sister that
married in ould Ireland she TUX up with
lover at the time l tux down with the
measles-an' sure ! got well first. She
used to go about pinin' and sighin' till me
very heart was achin' to see her so dolemul,
fully; but y-and,by she got married, and
her husband drinked and bate her, and
that's all she got for her sorrow. Ketch
Mary Maloncy taking any such distress on
her as that
'What on earth, then, have you got to
make you happy? a drunken brother,
a poor helpless sister, no mother, no father
and no lover, why, where do you get all
your happiness from?'
The Lord be praised, Miss, it growed
up in mo. Give me bit Of sunshine, a
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27
ST. MICHAEL AND LUCIFER +,
Row 70 PUNISH woNAS-A LIGRNp

R0w 70 PUNISH 4 woNAS-A LrG4Np
n yoNn o. sAxs.
Saint Michael and Lucifer meeting one day
Fell into an angry dispute,
Though they argued the case in a. civil way
As II twere . Chancery suit.
II.
The matter in ques!ion--no trivial game
pTis plausible story at least)
Was, Which of the two had the rightfullest claim
To a lady quite lately deceased.
III.
woman Of Fashion, who, standing aloof
Looked on with sorrowful face,
While the rival attorneys, by balance Of proof,
Were trying to settle tho case.
".
With huge pair Of scales the trial begins;
But her virtues are many and great
And farly outpoise all the folIies and sins
That serve a. the opposite weight.
v.
st. Michael. delighted at winning the prize,
Laughed ont in the merriest way;
NAY, tarry moment" Sir Lucifcr cries,
Just look ut this bundle pray.
VI.
Be pleased to examine the changes of dress
The dame was accustomed to wear;
Ten snmptnons gswns, you will surely confess
we're more than her ladyships share"
VII.
II scarce understand you" his Reverence said.
Unwilling to have it appear
That ever a notion had entered his head
Pertaining to feminine gearD
VIII.
"Of course" said the fend,"you are modest know
That weakness is one OF my own!
Yet see what the wanton has lavished for show,
In costly apparel alone!
TX.
"The half of this fine,y wasted in pride,
Would have decently covered and led
A score OF her neighbors Who sickened and died
For sheer lack of clothing and bread y
Then into the balance. along with the sins,
The ponderous budget he cast:
The virtues go up, and Lucifer wins!
st. Michael is beaten at Iasti
XI.
"Alas :" said the Saint. II must fairly allow
The woman was greatly to blame
In this matter Of raiment--but pray tell me how
You mean to dispose of the dame?"
XII.
"Why, thus" said the fena, with a comical frown,
"Do You fancy the penalty small,
Let her have, every morning, another new gown,
And think herself ugly in all"
XIII.
Most exquisite torturer" Michael exclaims;
II see that yonr Reverence knows
(QuOth Lucifer laughng) much more about danes
Than you're willing to have us Supposed"
XIV.
go to- well, am rather reluctant to name
The region from whence he had come;
twas hardly so civil. and vet twas the same
As il he had answered. $50 homew
XIV.
II WILL" said the fiend. 'tbo' Two never dearth
OF business wherever go;
For Government matters, the gravest on earth,
<ftPresenf are managed beioto"
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27

Mr.. Watrous, of the Jackson Co. (Wis.)
Banner, denies the correctness Of the i'm
preston that legislature largely compos-
cd of farmers would be likely to eyince
most alacrity in hurrying up business
He says:
"We have heard number remark that
if they could elect none but farmers to the
Legislature, there would be stop put to
long sessions. We kno,c differently
Where you will find one lawyer or profess
sional man in the present Legislature who
is not anxious to have short sessions, you
will find half dozen farmers who had
rather remain until about time to COM
mence plowing. We do not say this for
the sake of saying it, but because we know
it is so, and to let the truth be known p"
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27

WHAT MAUN BE-, MAuN BE.-An old
Scotch tailor happened to have a help mate
ofa very peevish and querulous turn in
her temper. Tailor's and shoe-maker's
wives, as well as clergymen's. often have
this turn it is accidental, or because those
worthless of the scissors, soles and sermons,
are always in the house, and having an op-
portunity of observing the details in the
household economy,wish to have the direc-
ton inside as we'll as outside of the house.
If so, we tell the sex to 'stand by their
order" The talor's help took i'll, and the
scythe Of Time seemed about to shear
through the last stitches that made
the couple Zone fesh."
Il am gaun to dee, Andrew" said the
wife.
"Are YEP" replied the tailor, as cody as
if he had been trying the temper of his
goose.
"Are ye? is that the way to speak when
I'm telling you that I'm gaun to leave you
for ever?n
''What wad ye ha ME to say? Can sneck
the door against death ?''
"Deed no, Andrew, ye Gamma sneck the
door against the King O. Terrors, nor
would o rise aft your seat to dot, though
ye could. Yere no to lay my banes here
amang them O Linlithgow. but tax them
to Withburn, and lay them beside my faith
er and mither.',
Andrew, esteeming promise made to
person on the verge of Time sacred, but
not wishing to put himself to the expense,
which indeed, he could i'll afford, waived
giving an answer, but led on different
conversation.
"Do you hear, Andrew p
"Oh, yes, hear
"Weel, mind what I'm saying tax me
to Withburn, or I'll rise and trouble We
night and day-do you hear?'
"les, yes, hear perfectly-is that pain
in your side aye troubling We yct?'
"On ay, I'm a pain thegither, but the
malst pain to me is, that you'll lay my
dust here"
"Oh, woman, dinna distress yoursel
about that simple circumstance
mind, Ill no lie here, ye maun tax me
to Withburn; I'll trouble ye if ye dinna,
and We may depend ont"
"Weel, weel, then, if We mauu be buried
at Withburn, Gamma help it, but we II try
ye at Linlithgow first
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27

How JOE WON THE PENcIL.-Joe B
is unquestionably the handsomest married
man in Cincinnati.
Joe sports wife. besides several other
creature comforts. Well, he and his wife,
Harry -, John - and George -
and their wives all board at the same
house. a day or two ago, while they were
at table, luXuriating on detached portions
ora poIieu turkey, @mcn nad been stuffed
with oysters, the conversation turned OH
Christian names, when Mrs Harry conten-
ded that she could name more distinguish
Ell men who had borne the name of Hen
ry, than any gentleman could of his own
name and concluded by offering gold
pencil as wager against suitable equiv
alent, should she win.
The trial commenced. Mrs. Harry
started off with Harry of the West" ad-
ding dozen others.
George now gathered up on George
Washington, the four Georges of England,
Lord George Of France, &c.
NOW, Mr.. John -, what have you
to say ?' said the charming Mrs. Harry.
''Oh can give you q hundrsd-the
two Adams-Lord John Russell-John
Tyler-John, John, bring me some water.
john
"Stop. stop, you can't win. Mr.. Joseph
-, now your turn comes,'' continued
the juicy little gamestcr.
Now, if ever bashful man lived, it is my
friend Joe. lie dared not look up. II.
had been racking his brain for an answer
| but to no purpose, and in despair, he
made one grand effort, and raising hi
head replied:
"My dear madam, have lost can
not now think of any rey distinguished
man who ever bore the name of Joseph
except the gentleman we read about in the
Sacred Scriptures-he who was such a ia
vorite Of Mrs. Potiphar, but will not ofle
him, for Think he was the - fool ere
did hear Of"
''Ilere's the pencil" said Mrs. Harry
tossing it over to him, as she and the 9th
er ladies went out of the door.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27

AN OLD JusTIcE.-Cox Greek township,
in this county, can probably boast of hav-
ing the oldest officer in tho State-not in
years, but in the length of time he has
been kept in office. We allude to Dennis
Quigley. Esq, who resides at Littleport,
and has held the Office of Justice of the
Peace for twenty-five years in succession.
Mr.. Quigley is getting somewhat up in
years but nevertheless possesses much Wig
or yet and rs he has given satisfaction so
long, We presume he will be PERMITTED to
end his days in Office. He is good man
at any rate.-EMader Journal
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27
WHOLE No. 54l.

clean flure, plenty of work and sup at
the right time,and I'm made That makes
me laugh and sing; and then, if deep
trouble comes, s,why-God helpiu' me, I'll
try to keep me heart up. Sure it would
be a sud thing if Patrick McGrue should
take it into his head to come and ax me,
but the Lord willin,' Id try to bear up
under it,.
The last speech upset my gravity. The
idea of looking upon lover as an affliction
was so droll But she was evidently sim
cere, having before her the example of her
sisters husband, and her drunken brother.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27

Nearly all of our Attorneys attended
Court in Howard County last week, and
they speak well Of the dignity, urbanity
and impartiaity with which Judge Nc
Glathery presided. We have INDUCED IN
no Aattering conjectures and predictions
for Judge NJ career; but no one will b
better pleased to have any unfayorable opin-
ions wiped out, and no one will more will
inrlv give him credit for success than We.
-DscortM Repub.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27
McGREGOR, IOWA, WEDNESDAY, FEB 81, 1867.

mometer stood at SO and 400; and the day
was known as the "Cold Tuesddy.'
1856. Jan. 10 the thermometer in Bos.
ton was 50 below zero at sunrise. Thus
the 10th or llth days Of January, l774
lS4s, 1856 and 1859, were cold days, and
noticed as such.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27

There is a pretty good one told Of cock
ney Enslishman, who after his arrival in
New York, went to livery stable to get
carriage, and, it being rather cold day,
the livery-keeper said to his man, John,
put in buffalo for the gentleman. The
astonished Britisher exclaimed, almost in
alarm. "Iiif hits hall the same to you, sir,
I'D rather ave orse." He thought he
had got into a country where buffaloes were
used for draft.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27

"Are we civilized?" This inquiry is
made by writer in the Boston Transcript
and is called out by the fact that, since the
complaints aroused by the stripping and
fogging of your ladies in the Massachu-
setts schools, new method of punishment
has been adopted, which consists of open
ing the child's mouth and filling it with
Cyenne pepper.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27

A man coming home late at night, "half
seas over" feeling thirsty, procured
tumbler Of water, and drank it. In doing
so he swallowed small ball of silk in the
bottom of the tumbler, the end catching in
his teeth. Feeling something, he began
pulling at it, and the little ball unroliing,
he soon had several feet in his hands, and
still no end appeared. "Wife! wife! l
say wife, come here am all unraveling.'
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27

An old bachelor, seeing the words ''fam-
lilies supplied" over the door of shop,
stsrped in and said be would take wife
and two children.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27

Smother this book tells about the waves
of the angry ocean. Now, what makes
the ocean angry?" "Becauscsit has bcen
crossed 50 often, my son.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27
CHARLES A. oPITZ,

na1s Has moved his Shoe Shop down -
xMv Main Street, one door west Of the W es-
tern Hotel, where he may be found at all times
ready to accommodate customers with well made Doors
and SHOES OF any style quality He respectfully
soIicts share Of public patronage. Repairing neatly
done. MCuhEhOh, AOWA.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27
WEST IIN1ION z

WEST UNION HOUSE,
Corner Vine and Elm Sts.,....WfST UNION, IOWA.
II. j. INGERS0LL, PROPRIETOR
Good stabling and charges moderate. Stages going
east north aud south, call and leave with pas
sengers, morning and evening. y532
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27
]. S. GREEN. M. D.

Ia.
Tenders his professional services to the public Par
tcular attention given to Surgical and Disease
of the Heart and Lungs.
Former f.vors gratefully remembered and futur
ones respectfully solicited.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27
CLAYTON HOUSE


MAIN STREET. ......................... NcGREGOR
p. FURY, Proprietor.
Having recently purchased this House, the Proprie
tor begs say that he has refurnished it, added to its
capacity Hotel and he respectfully asks share OF
public patronage. The best attention given, good
fare and reasonable bills. Good Stabling. 4S5
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27
HOWARD ASSOCIATION,
PHILADELPHIA. Pa.

lNISEASES Of the Urinary and Sexual Systems
i J new and reliable treatment. Also the BRIDAL
CHAMBER, an Essay of Warming and Instruction sent
in scaled envelopes. free of charge. Address DIR.
SKILLIN u0UGilToN, Howard Association, No. :"
s,uth Ninth Street, ,Philadelphis, Pa y463
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27
COOK & BRO.

w. W SQok HARNlN LOOK.
Attorneys at Law Elkader, Clayton Co., Iowa, will
attend to collections examine titles pay taxes obtain
bounties, pensions, &c. Office opposite mill. $50
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27
DAVID NOGGLE

Attorney and Counsellor at Law. Office in Dousman'
Law Block Prairie du Chen, Wis. Will attend to tn
business of his profession in the Courts of Wisconsi,
and Iowa. $50
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27

DlCKEY & WELLIVER,
Manufacturers of the MeGregor FannI Mill and rain
Separator, on West Market Square, corner Main and
Ann Streets, 4l5y McGREGOR, IOWA.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27
RAILROAD HOUSE,

Postville Iowa. This house has just been finished an
has thorough fitting of everything to make guest
comfortable. L. OSTRANDER, Proprietor
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27
MURRAY HOUSE

MURRAY HOUSE,
Main Street, McGrcgor, Iowa A desirable home for
the travelling public with good barns and Sheds at
tached for the safe protection of horses and wagons
4l2 VI. MURRAY, Proprietor.
North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-02-27
FRESE. II. D. WELLMAN.
MISSISSIPPI HOUSE.

Near Steamboat Landing, McGregor Iowa. Good
Stabling attached TO the premises.
52S FRESE WELLMAN, Proprictors.