The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1867-03-18
MRS. CRUDLE'S CURTAIN LECTURES,
continued from our last issue.
TIE EIGHTEENTH LECTURE.

BEEN BOWED TO BY YOUNGER AND EVEN PREF
TIER WOMAN THAN MRS. CAUDLE
elf Pm not to leave the house without
Delng lnsulted Mr.. Caudle, had better stay
indoors allmy life.
What! Don't tell me to let you have one
nights restl | wonder at your impudence
It's mighty fine, l never can go out with
you-and goodness knows, it's seldom enough
without having my feelings torn to pieces
by people fall sorts. A set of bold minxesl
Whdt am l raUing dbouR Oh, you know very
well-very WELL indeed, Mr.. Caudle.
pretty person she must be, to nod to a man
walking with his own wiiel Don't tell me
1t was Miss Prettyman-what's Miss Pretty
man to me? Obi 1o'Ue met her once or t1Cice
at her brothers. house? Yes, l dare say you
have-no doubt of it. l always thought
there was something very tempting about
that house, and now | know it all. Now, it's
no use, Mr.. Caudle, your beginning to talk
loud, and twist and toss your arms about as
If you were as innocent as a born babe-Tm
not to be deceived by such tricks now. Mo-
there was a time when | was a fool, and be-
lieved anything; butt thank my stars!-
I've got over that.
"a bold mink You suppose l didn't see
her laugh, too, when she nodded to you'll Oh
yes, knew what she thought me: a poor
miserable creature, of course. | could see
that. No-dOn't say so, Caudle. l don't
always see more than anybody else-but l
can't and won't be blind however agreeable
it might be to you; must have the use of my
senses. Pm sure if a woman wants attention
and respect from man, she'd better be any
thing than his wife. l always thought so;
and to-day's decided it.
'No, Pm not ashamed of myself to talk So
certainly not. a good, dmidbie, young creature
Sndeed Yes / dare say; very amiable, no
doubt. OF course, you think so. You sup
pose didn't see what sort of bonnet she had
onf Oh, very good creature And you
think didn't see the smudges of court-plaster
about her face? You didn't see 'em? Very
likely; but did Very amable, to be sure!
T What do you say? made her blush at my ill.,
manners? ! should like to have seen her
blushl 'Twould have been rather difficult
Mr.. Caudle, for a blush to come through all
that paint. No-I'm not a censorious woman
Mr. Caudle; quite the reverse. No; and you
may threaten to get up if you like. will
speak. / know what color is, and | say it 1cas
paint. | believe, Mr.. Caudle, / once had a
compeXiOn though, of course you We quite
forgotten that. | think l once had a color,
! before your conduct destroyed it. Before |
knew you, people used to call me the Lily and
the Rose; but-what are you laughing at! |
see nothing to laugh at. But, as l say, any
body before your own wife.
'And can't walk out with you but you're
bowed to by every woman you meet what
do 1 mean by eUeIy oCOmaR, 1Chen its only Hiss
Prettymon? That's nothing at all to do with
it. How do l know who bows to you when
Pm not by Everybody, Of course. And if
they don't look at you, why you look at them.
OH I'm sure you do. You do it even when
Pm out with you, and of course you do it
when I'm away. Now, don't tell me- Caudle
don't deny it. The fact is, it's become such
a dreadful habit with you, that you don't
know when you do it, and when you don't.
But do.
say? You 'front.' lie still and hear me ScdHdaii-e
that ercellent yOuRq aOomdn? Oh, of course
/ you'll take her part Though, to be sure,
4 she may not be so much to blame after all.
For how is she to know you're married!
4 You're never seen Out-of-doors with your own
I wife-never. Wherever you go, you go alone.
4 OF course people think you're bachelor.
= What do you say? You lUeU knOU you're moi?
That's nothing to do with it-I only ask what
must people think, when I'm never seen with
lAyou Other women go out with their hus-
r. bands: but as pve often said, Pm not like any
other woman! What are you sneering at,
Mr.. Caudle HO1U do ERolU you're Sneering {?
Don't tell me- | know well enough, by the
movement of the pillow.
'ENo: you never take me out-and you know
" it. No: and it's not my own fault. How can
you lie there and say that Oh, all a poor
excuse That's what you always say. You're
tired of asking me, indeed, because l always
start some Objection! VI COURSE Gan I ~
out figure. And when you ask me to go,
n you know very well that my bonnet isn't as
it should be---or that my gown hasn't come
~ home-or that l can't leave the children-ol
that something keeps me indoors! You know
all this, we'll enough, before you ask me
And that's your art. And when | do so out
with you. Pm sure to suffer for it. Yes; you
needn't repeat my words. Suffer for It. But
you suppose l have no feelings: oh, no, no
body has feelings but yourself. Yes; I'd for
~ got Miss Prettyman, perhaps-yes, she may
have feelings, of course,
"And as I've said, ] dare say a pretty dupt
people think me. To be sure; poor forlorI
creature must look in everybody eyes. Bu
knew you couldn't be at Mr.. Prettymani
house night after night till eleven o'clock
a great deal you thought of me sitting up TO-
you'll knew you couldn't be there withou
some cause. And now I've found it out Oh
/ don't mind your swearing, Mr.. Caudle IT.
J. if ] wasn't woman, who ought to swear
But it's like you men. Lords Of creation, a
you call yourselves Lords indeed Ant
pretty slaves you make of the poor creature
4 who're tied to you. But I'll be separated
Caudle; will; and then I'll take care and le
all the world know how you've used me
What do you say? Imay sag my WorSt Ha
don't you tempta any womaninthat way-dOn't
Ceudle: for | wouldn't answer for what said
''AIiss Prettyman, indeed, and-oh, yes
now see Now the whole light breaks i
upon me Now know why you wished m
to ask her with Mr.. and Mrs. Prettyman t
iea And l, like poor blind fool, was nearl
Doing it. But now, as | say, my eyes ar
open And you'd have brought her unde
my own rOOf-now it's no use your bouncin
about in that fashion-you'd have brOugE