The Lancaster ledger. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1852-1905, 1867-12-19
'Bobing Around"

| For tureo loOS Gays our local mas been
"bobiug around" trying to hunt up an
item for mis- column, but despite every er
fort he is still blank; yes, blank as pow
der cartridge. There's a heap that the
public ought TO know Of through the
paper-we mean heap o! goods-but
as that belongs to another department we
can't afford to say much. Merchants
who thoroughly understand the ropes al.
ways appreciate Ibis opportuni,y-some
are content in eking out an existence :;
others have higher ambition.
Merchandising is a pleasant employ.
ment-here's An instance: "a LADY en-
tered-she stood beside ,he counter-.he
thought the muslin, etc, dearer than any
she'd seen yet-a, ker nod the shelves
were emptied. Clerk watched her playful
fingers as the silks and sa,ins tossed-the e
boss smiled--,he clerk was all attention.
snatching with electric speed from the
shelves everything called for-he Travelled
around "briskIy"-at length, with hesi,a.
ton, she bought-a yard Of taps!"
FAsnloSs.-Ab, yes we may say some
thing about fashions but they are so va,
ried aud have assumed such a-well
people that know US can attest our high
esteem for :hs ladies', and we wouldn't
have them get offended for the world.
AcCrDENTs.--Nobody killed, no fires,
no fighting, no d-r-i-n-k-i-n-g, (to ex.
cess.)
CHANGEs.-Some few going on--hap
py ones at that Christmas near at hand
eggs on the rise.
The WEArHrR-Cold with an occa.
sional hot snap-aangerous to fresh pork.
Small snow Last Sunday morning.
OLD BAcHELoRs-Well, they are a
crusty set not much afraid Of bach eors
the ladies will help us out. They are
a curious sort Of humanity, and we can't
account for their preference. A writer
has said, "that no man can either live
piously or die righteously without wife"
Selah. That fellows head VA. balanced.
What say ye, aye shirt buttonle.s,
rump!ed, ,our featured old single hearted
ness. Write the axiom upon your flinty
and unappreciats hearts wtk q diamond.
pointed pencil (ii you have one) cut it out,
and paste it up 10 some cons s.icuou. place,
in your solitary chee,less, comfortless rag
Uttered desert Of a room, where even the
boldest ray Of the summer sun trembles
to linger for moment where never a
flower dare4 to show its bushing face with,
out dying An untimely death, and where
the healthiest breeze that ever cams sing.
ing hon the caves o. the mighty hills
will sicken and become impregns,ed with
the foul odor Of decayiug cigar stumps,
orange peeIings, and the smell Of unwash,
ed gin tumblers.
How can you feel pious, and 90 to
church every Supdsy, with the phantom
ofyour impious single wretchedne.s be
'ore your minds eye, and accusing your
selfish heart, like Bauquo's ghost, every
time some sweet, unconscious, rosy cheek
sG, laughiog-eyed aud elaborately.chig
noned fairy takes seat beside you in the
same pew, or brushe, by you at the door,
like butterfly, while you stand gazing
on. vacancy, and irresolu,eIy twisting the
"few and far between" hairs that discolor
your upper lipi You can't feel pious with
such distracting thoughts rushing like
lava through your brain, and turning
every unwise bachelor resolve 10 dust and
ashes. How can you expect TO die righ,e
ous!y without wife to assist youi
You may manage to fight your way
through useless bachelor life, in cat
and dog sort ofa way-bu. you beartles,
sinner, will this suffice you when the day
Of retribution comes, and old Death raps
at your lstchless chamber door, with a
polite request to take seat in his ferry
boat, Immediately to be rowed to the
other side Of the Styx; will you be pre-
pared to meet the occasion I Can you
point to the diary OF your ma!eless liz
and prove that your suffsripgs and trial.
on earth have been sufficient and severe
emo ugh to purity and chastsn your heart
or will you then exclaim, with Queer
Elizabeth,
"My kingdom for moment Of time."
10 get married 10. Hard hearted mortal
shake off your basbfulnes., and resolve to
take delightful trip through the seven
Mahommedan heavens, with q regular
passport signed sndS sealed in due form
BY an officiating clergyman. We know
/ ma a. a ,ioht al Ill lo..o :. A.. Al