The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1867-02-06
Quiet Times and Kissing.

The time IS quiet, and events OF lmpor'
lance are not plentiful. As we sat list
lessly this morning specializing on proba-
bilities and possibilities. our eye fell upon
the open page Of q late magazine, illustra-
ting the modes of kissing in different
parts Of the world. The picture exhibits
the absurd and conieal phases Of the act ;
great bearded men kissing each others
lips, and pretty maidens saluting each
other on the cheek. Kissing is pleas
ant theme and the incident reminds us Of
a little story, which we will tell cur read
ers. In the city Of New York, in the
year 18--, about ten o'clock on lovely
morning in the charming month Of June,
two persons were leisurely in Broadway
(Lt will be noticed that we Go not set
fourth our characters in the elegant style
Of G.. z. R James, whose heroines were
sure to be mounted on gay steeds; but
the fact is we don't own SO much as a hoof.)
In il little while they made signal to an
omnibus, which drove. up, and they en-
tered and seated themselves on opposite
seats. (Cri..clino and hoops were not the
fashion then, but multitudinous skirts and
bustles were.) One of the two was small
weazened, elderly man, apparently French,
with a bright eye and vivacious manner
His companion was . pretty, fresh faced
young woman Of perhaps twenty, neatly
but simply dressed. Presently the omni-
bus halted, and third person entered
and seated himself He was gallant
youth, and evidently a great admirer Of
the sex -when young and pretty and he
essayed many agreeable little attentions to
the lady. The young people exchanged
pleasant glances. The little French gen
tleman sat a silent spectator, gazing all
the while 10 the sweet face Of the young
woman with undisguised emotion. In an
instant he bent forward and kissed her.
The young man, like a true knight sworn
to protect beauty, sprang up and dealt the
Frenchman blow that laid him PROSTATE
on the floor of the omnibus. The beauty
shrieked in her shrillest tones (How the
delicate loves can yell when they have
mind.) The Frenehman recovered and
rose to his feet, shouting fire and murder,
and screaming an unintelligible iareon Of
electric French and fractured English
The omnibus stopped-the fare OF the
two parties had been paid-and two po-
liceman appeared at the door. The chiv-
alous young gentleman related the outrage
on the young lady in terms Of glowing
indignation One officer seized the French
man, while the other, raising his hat, po-
litely offered his arm to the young woman,
and they walked to the police office, fol-
lowed by the gallant. The case was stated
to the magistrate, who looked tenderly at
the young woman, but with ominous Sc
verify at the Frenchman. rhezlatter was
livid with suppressed rage, which broke
forth at last. He appealed to the Court,
and demanded terrible satisfaction on "one
grand bully who ave struck me fork my
vife-my wife kissing out the last with
terribleemphasis. This declaration chang
ed the aspect Of affairs. The rigid fea-
lures Of the magistrate relaxed into a
smile, and the too hasty but gallant young
man, perceiveing his mistake. took occasion
to leave the Court room hastily. The
judge expressed his regret at the unpleas
ant occurance, but remarked that while
man had an undoubted right to kiss his
wife, he should observe a decent regard
for the. proprieties Of time and place
At this the ,amorous little Frenchman ac-
tually blazed thine and place" he ex-
claimed with concentrated contempt, swat
| care for &c time. I kiss my wife one
time, two time, tree time all re time
And-as- for-ze-pl place he (uttered in
an intensively dramatic style, as he boun-
ded back five or six feet,) kiss my wife
on ze mouf; by gar, You may kiss yours
we're you dam plese RI Reese River
Reyille.