The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1867-03-14

nOmenon, the Leopard Cnliu 1roui the
wilds of Africa, is mine, shall I exult IN
my happiness and be silent when my
country's life is threatened No! Be-
cause the Double Hump-backed Bac-
trian Camel takes his, oats in my me-
naperie, shall surfeit with bliss and
lift not my voice to save the people'
No! Because amongmys possessions are
dead loads of Royal Bengal Tigers
White Himilaya Mountain Bears, SO in
teresting to Christian families from be-
ing mentioned in the Sacred Scriptures,
Silvefstriped Hyenas, Lions, Tigers,
Leopards, Wolves, Sacred Cattle from
the sacred hills of New Jersey, Pan
theirs, Ibexes, Performing Mules and
Monkeys, South American Deer, and
o-forth, and so-forth, and so-forth, shall
I glot over my blessings in silence, and
leave Columbia to perish! No! Be
cause l have secured the Celebrated
Gordon Cumming collection, consisting
of oil portraits of the two negroes and a
child who rescued him from impending
death, shall wrap me in mute ecstasy
and let my country rush unwarned to
her destruction No, Because unto me
belong the monster living alligator,
over 12 feet in length, and four living
speckled trout, weighing 20 pounds,
shall these lips sing songs of gladness
aud peal no succoring cry unto DOOM
ed nationi No! Because l have got
Miller's grand national bronze portrait
gallery, consisting of two plaster Of
Paris Venuses and a vanished mud
turtle, shall I bask in mine own bliss
and be mute in the season of my peoples
peril' No. Because possess the small
est dwarfs in the world, and the Nova
Scotian giantess, who weighs ton and
eats her weight every forty-cight hours;
and Herr Phelim O'Flannigan, the Nor
wegian Giant, who feeds on the dwarfs
ami ruins business; and the lovely Cir
cassian girl, and the celebrated Happy
Family, consisting of animals Of the
most diverse principles and dispositions,
dwelling together in peace and unity,
and never beheld by the religious spec
tator acquainted with Eden before the
Fall, without emotions too profound for
utterance; and 100000 other curiosities,
chiefly invisible to the naked eye-all
to. be seen for the small sum of so cents,
children and servants half price-stair-
cases arranged with special reference to
limb displays-shaIl l hug my happi-
ness to my soul and fail to cry aloud
when l behold my country sinking to
destruction and the gravel No!-a thou
sand times no!
"No. Even rs one sent to warn We of
fearful peril, cry help! help! for the
stricken land! !appeal to you-and to
you--and to- you, sir-to every true
heart in this august menagerie. Dema-
gogues threaten the Goddess of Liberty
they heard the Starry-robed woman
in her citadel, and to you the bearded
woman looks for succor. Once more
grim Treason towers in our midst, and
once more helpless loyalty scatters into
corners as do the dwarfs when the Nor
wegian giant strides among them. The
law-making powers and the Executive
are at daggers drawn, State after State
filings defiance at the amendment, and
10. the Happy Family of the Union is
broken up. Woe is me!
"Where is the poor negrof How hath
he Jared; Alas! his regeneration is in
complete; he is free, but he cannot vote;
We have only made him white in spots
like my wonderful Leopard Boy from
the wilds of Africa. Ye promised him
universal suffrage, but We have given
him universal suffering instead. Woe
is me.
"The country is fallen! The boss
monkey sits IN the feed-tub, and the
tom-cats, the raccoons and the gentle
rabbits of the once happy family stand
helpless and afar off. and behold him
gabble the provender in the pride of his
strength! Woe is me!
"Ah, gentlemen, our beloved Colum-
bia, with these corroding distresses up
on her, must soon succumb. The high
spirit will depart from her eye, the
bloom from her cheek, the majesty from
her step, and she will stand before us
gaunt and worn, like my beautiful
giantess when my dwarfs and Circas-
slams prey upon her rations! Soon we
shall see the glory of the realm pass
away as did the grandeur of the Muse
um amid the consuming fires, and the
wonders the world admires shall give
place to trivialities, even as in the
proud Museum the wonders that once
amazed have given place to cheap stuff,
fed reptiles and peanut stands. Woe is
ME,
80, spirit of Washington! forgotten
in these evil times, thou art banished
to the dusty corridors of memory, a
staring efiigy of wax, and none could
recognize thee bnt for the label pinned
upon thy legs! o, shade of jackson
! o, ghost of gallant Lafayette! ye live
only in museums, and the sublime les
sons of your lives arc no longer needed
by the slumbering nation! Woe is me
j Grouse We, my people, rouse We! rouse
\ ye! rouse ye! Shake of the fatal stupol
that Ia rlpon We and hurl the psnruino