Delaware State journal and statesman., 1867-05-28
WIT AND HumOR.

YouNa LADY's CHANGEa.-A young lady
describes her feelings aud courts sympathy.
We hope she may soon realize the change that
she devoutely wished for.
My heart is sick, my heart is sad,
But oh the change dare not tell
am not grieved, am not glad,
/ am not i'll, l am not we'll.
I'm not myself, I'm not the same;
am indeed, know not what
I'm changed in all except in name
Oh, when shall l be changed in that.
LEaAI-Few stories relating to witnesses are
more laughable than that which describes the
mathematical process by which Mr.. Baron
Perrot arrived at the value Of certain conflict
ing evidence. He is reported TO have said, in
summing up the evidence in trial where the
witnesses had sworn with noble tsnscity Of pur-
pose, "Gentomen Of the jury, there are fifteen
/ witnesses who swear that the watercourse used
to flow in the ditch on the north side Of the
hedge. On the other hand, gentlemen, there are
nine witnesses who swear that the watercourse
used to flow on the south side Of the hedge
/ Now, gentlemen, il you subtract nine from
ffteen there remain six witaesses wholly un.
contradicted; and recommend you to give you
verdict for the party who called those six wit
uesses."
g A LAUdHABLE INCIDENTAL very laughab
incident, says the Marysville (Cal.) Appeal, oc
cured at one of the photograph galleries in thi
city, recently. A country gentleman went in +
get his two boys taken. In order to have the boy
properly prepared, he asked for basin Of waite
to wash their faces. The artist informed the Gus
toner that he would find wash dish in the othe
room, and he retired and gave both boys clea
., wash. After the pictures were taken il was nc
10 ticed that the lads began to grow black in th
n face, and continued to get blacker and backe
The true state of the case Immediately occurre
to the operator-the boys had washed their face
in the wrong dish, basin Of chemicals pr
IN pared for pictures. There was no remedy the
for the accident The silver wash was turnin
the faces of the boys blacker and blacker. al
there was no other way than to let the chemca
perfect the work. The gentleman left with b
boys, and by the time he reached home his wi
NJ hsd couple of nice colored children.
81 81 The HoRN or THE UEaoDLY.-A good stor.
- whether true or not, is told Of wel-knov
clergyman, who, not long ago, dropped into Il
bar room of one Of our frst-olass hotels al
ordered snifter. By some mistake he appr
priated the glass Of an individual near hii
whose conversation and appearance stamp
him as What Artemus Ward would have cale
a ocarual cuss" Looking fercely ct the mil
,sp s,r eyed minister, he exclaimed. with an oath
me "That WAS my hOra you drank !" "Ah
set friend replied the reverend minister, "does
the Scripture say, the horn Of the ungod
shall be put DOWN." 1t was repartee not I
a. worthy Of Sydney Smith, and being deliver
-- with dignity BETTING the sOlemDi'y Of the
casioo, produced marked impression.
APT REroRr.-AFrom lockwood, H., we hi
word that Roley B., ready-witted lrishm
still lives, and is able to get outside Of his re
lar LIQUIDS, The other day one Of the b'
. thinking to have little fun out Of him, sal
''Roey, have you heard the news'" mo- "
news % "Why, the devil is dead" Nota "
. said Roley, putting his hand in his pocket
pulling out ten.cent shinplaster, handed
his QueBuOueft WIN hbhou "hoh ~ "AH
IT. nWhy," answered Roley, Sin the ould coun
,os 1D0 where came from, it was the custom to
the children something when the parents di
Whereat there was some laughter, but no I
iINd inquiries.
rioty. An Irshman who had quarreled with
,KEr Spouse objected to insure because it would
fit the dame, but was assured that he could
oueath the amount insured as he pleased-'F
III be doing it, then,' said be; i only hOp'
aagravate her as long as lived; but, BY
,Sos powers, to lose this money will aggravate
r. Mu. after I'm dead
''''" 81 cannot conceive, my dear, what's the
oN ter with my watch; l think it must want c
= ing" exclaimed an indulgent husband tt
better half, the other day. ''No, pa" salt
gers pettei little daughter, al know Il don't
cleaning, because baby and washed it
basin ever so long this morning" ~
Why are young ladies generally bad
Dtry.g marans? Because few of them are able
4 ipRhT X CLINE matrimony