The Van Buren press., 1867-02-15

Ia the gate that leads to Him.
JOSH BlLLISGs on PRAYER From 100
many friends and from things at loose ends,
good Lord deliver us.
From wife who don't love us, and from
children who don't look like US. good Lord
deliver us.
From snakes in the grass, from snakes in
our boo:a, from tolchlight professions, and
from new rum. good Lord deliver u.s.
From pack peddlerS, from young folks
in love. from Old aunts without money,
and kolora morbis. good Lord deliver us.
From wealth without charity, from praise
without sense pedigrees worn out, and from
all poor relations, good Lord deliver us.
From newspaper sells. from pills that
amt physic. from females that faint. and
from men who ilatter, good Lord deliver
NJ.
From gals that chaw gum and wear dir
~ pctticoats. and from men who don't love
babies. good Lord deliver us.
From other folks secrets, and from our
own; from mormons, and megums, and
WO'uaH SVOniHiittcVS, SOou Lulu ucllNct uS
From virtue without fragrance, from but
ter that smells, from niger camp meetings,
from cats and their counting, good Lord
deliver us.
Nor BAD FOR SAMOA Richmond
contemporary relates:
At the Opera House the other night, the
following scene occurred:
Tim" Now. look here, Niger; can you
tell me the difference between mans oc-
cupation and his business?"
Josh" Why. faint no difference. A
mans occupation is his business. and his
business is his occupation"
Tim" Now, niger, is you a fool?--
Amt JEFF. Davis in occupation Of Fortress
Monroe. and 10 he got any business dar?'
Josh-"Dat niger always was smart -
A VALUABLE REcIPE.-Our city resi-.
dents can always have fresh country butter
by observing the following directions
Take Ave pounds Of Goshen butter and
place it in a churn, and pour upon it one
gallon of either bu,termilk or sour milk,
and churn it for half an hour. Then work
all the milk out of it, and you will have as
sweet and nice country butter" as any
one could wish. You will find that the
butter is not only improved in quality by
this process. but lis doubled in quantity.
SMILEs.-What sunshine is to flowers.
smiles are to humanity. They are but
trihes, to be sure, but scattered along life S
pathway the good they do is inconceivable.
a smile. accompanied by kind word, has
been known to reclaim poor outcast, and
change the whole current of human life.
OF all life's blessings none are cheaper, or
more easily dispensed, than smiles Then
let US not be too chary of them. but scatter
them freely as we SO; for life is too short
10 be frowned away.
HUMAN BROTHERHOOD The race Of
mankind would soon perish did they cease
TO aid each other. From the time that the
mother binds the child's head. till the mo-
ment that some kind assistant wipes the
death damp from the brow of the dying,
We cannot exist without mutual help All,
therefore, that need aid, having right TO
ask it from their fellow mor,als. no one
who holds the power granting can refuse
without guilt
AN old bachelor seeing the words
families supplied" over the door of the
shop. stepped in and said che would take
q wife and two children"
The following order, verbatim, was
received by Chicago undertaken: Surs:
My wife is dead and wants to be buried to.
MORO, at Wuner klock' U knose war
to dig the hoal-bi the side of my two
uther wives. Let it be deep"
Ono factory In Augusta, Ga. has
turned out during the last year 6,4l0,OO0
yards Of CLOTH and paid dividend of clear
profit Of S6l 1000 to the stockholders.
a lady Of New Bedford recently
wrote to Boston publishing house for
copy Of Gallert, or Trust in God" and
received the reply: "There is no trust in
God to be found in Boston"
An aunty qua,ed Ethiopian dame
once sapiently remarked, rse hearn heap
oh talk bout gibbin all we darkes a Blu.
reau, but bless your soul honey, aint seed
eben washstan yit.'
--Swearing is the fit ftexpression OF hu-
man rage, and the mos: exact interpreter Of
i.s real meaning. lie who utters the fear.
ful word Of damnation against his fellow
man, isgiving vent TO feeling which. had
it the power, would really consign him to
hell. Anger is thus not only murder, but
murder Of the worst kind it would not only
kill tue body. but would cast both soul
ana body into hell. swcarer. see wha.
ysar oath uaeansi Angry msn. see wha.
yonr angct rlcsns