North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1867-05-29
A MOVING STORY,

tai disregard of ordinary rules.
The paregoric and hive syrup bottles
were packed in our new hat--one of
Mackenzie's latest and best.
The caster bottles were placed in our
other boots, it being so handy to carry
them by the loops, The stopper came out
of one containing tomato catsup, and the
top of the mustard concern was broken OFT.
That is the best seasoned pair Of boots
we ever saw.
The other family insisted on coming into
the houses before we got out.
And so the the things got mixed up
some.
But we got'all that belonged to US at
least.
The cartman swore because the cook
Stove was so heavy, and one said id
if he would have it if we offered it to
him."
Did not offer it TO him, but offered both
of them q drink out a quarter of barrel OF
ale, standing in the kitchen.
They took it very kindly, but made 'em
thirsty all the forenoon,
Guess the spigot must have got out of the
barrel on the road for we could not squeeze
half glass out last night.
Finally got moved.
Thought we would have our supper be-
fore we tackled the bcdsteads and back
room stove.
Better-half, with patch of SCOT on her
nose, said supper was ready.
She was mad, because, when she asked
us to bring home keg Of soft soap, we
proposed an amendment, substituting
keg of powder aud slow match.
We hate soft soap-have to use so much
of it every day in noticing men and things.
Sat down at the table and took cup of
tea that was handed to us.
Thought it tasted strangely, and pros
pectcd the bottom of the cup Found the
birthstone ends of three matches.
Did not drink any more tea.
Came near breaking one of our teeth on
a carpet tack in the butter and though We
had had supper enough.
Commenced playing put up bedsteads,
1t is fun when you like it.
But people do not like it mostly.
None of the blasted rails would fit. Got
the wrong ones into the wrong posts, and
could not screw them up.
Marked them all we'll with pencil be-
fore we took them down, and thought we
would know how they went together again;
but somebody wiped the marks all out.
And there we were.
Better half suggested that one of our
time of life ought to have more patience,
and gave it as her opinion that we could
not swear the bedstead together. .#
Found we could not. 5.... -.
Finally we got thsm up-four of them,
and commenced putting cords on. sa...
Cords broke, and we had to tie them to-
gether, ...... .... .... ..f
The knots would not slip around the pegs,
and we could not draw the rope tight.
More remarks from the children's moth
er on the subject Opportunity.
Did not pay any attention to her, and
thus succeeded in getting through with the
job . .....
Then went down and harnessed the
stove. ....
The legs all fell out when we tried to
lift it on to the zinc, but got it into position
at last. ...g
Two lengths and one elbow Of the pipe
were missing.
Finally found the elbow in the bureau
drawer, and two lengths rolled up in the
parlor carpet.
Got hatchet and stick of wood and
commenced pounding the pipe together.
1f &c
knuckles, and got the elbow on wrong end
up. ..
Had to take it all apart and change it.
Commenced pounding again, but could not
make it jlbe.
Pounded more.
The more we pounded, the more it
would not fit, and we thought we would
give it up. .- .r. ...
Expressed our opinion in relation to
stove pipes in general and this one in par
ticular, and made some illusions to the in
ventor of this kind of furniture. .,-.
Went to the corner grocery and got
zwei lager, felt refreshed and resumed the
attack on the pipe. t-5
Found out that what allied us before was
that we had not pounded it enough.
Remedied the defect, and the job was
done. Stove smoked beautifully.
Got wife to tie rags around three of our
fingers and one thumb, and thought we
would sit down and have smoke.
Found meerschaum after while, and
discovered amber mouth-piece broken.
Got the tobacco can, but on ascertalnlng
that the salt cellar had been emptied into
it, made up our mind that we would not
smoke. t- ,.