Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1867-04-03
A Little of Everything.

i"ups, puC very Dau tnlng Tor tnem tt
grow up sheep.
The merit of our actions consists moi
IN dong extraordinary actions. but in doing
ordinary actions extraordinarily well.
IF. sir, said a hospital Trishman to
his TREND, you ever come within a mile of
my house, hope you will stop there. -
Nature, when she makessa beautiful
head, IS often so absorbed with admiration
OF her own work that she forgets the brains
"A chap at Davenport has been fined
i've dollars and costs, sixteen dollars and
forty five cents, for kiss, to which the kissee
had objected.
"A young lady says the reason that she
carries parasol is, that the sun is of the
masculine gender, and she cannot withstand
| Its ardent glances.
.-Adversity has ever been considered as
the state IN which a man most easily becomes
acquainted with himself-particular being
free from fatterers.
lizards, scorpions, and other deadly
and nasty creatures named epithoralitp roi-
r,tdats are said to be generated in sauer-
kraut- Shouldn' wonder.
| "A chap advertises in Boston for board,
to be paid for in first class dentistry" He
wants to insert his own teeth and pull out
| INC teetH OF somebody else.
| -"Wouldn't you call this the calf of
| the leg? asked Bob, pointing to one of his
neither limbs No" replied Pat, Il
should say it was the leg of calf -
Two ears, and but a single tongue,
| by Natures laws to man belong;
The lesson she would teach is clear,
Repeat but half of what you hear -
When Judge Russell, of Boston, ad-
dressed the School Ship boys, on Sunday,
he asked where St Patrick was born and
one OF the boys shouted at once, I'm a sta
bic in Bethlehem
The advantages ofan old coat are numer-
Gus. People will not think it worth while
to pick your pockets the ladies will not
bother you with their insatiate love: and
you will not be teased to take tea with your
acquaintance.
"A Western editor getting warm with
his subject, exclaimed, ''There is not man,
woman or child in the house who has arriv-
ed at the age OF fifty years, but what has
felt this truth laundering through their
minds for centuries
Sir said an indignant husband to
his reckless friend, you have abused my
hospitality, you have kicked me down stairs
and you have kissed my wife before my
face. Beware, sir ! A few more such out
RACES and, by Jove, you'll rouse the British
lion -
As a schoolmaster was employed,
short time since, in his delightful task of
teaching chary urchin to cypker on the
slate the precocious pupil put the following
tough question to his instructor: ''Whaur
did the figures gang till when they re
rubbit out. +"
"A lawyer, neither young nor handsome
when examining young lady witness in
court, desiring to perplex her, said, Miss,
upon my word, you are very pretty" The
young lady promptly replied, Il would re-
turn the compliment, sir, if | were not un-
der oath. :"
"A blundering or wilfui compositor and
proof f-reader on the Davenport, (Iowa) Ga
aette recently caused that journal to appear
with the following despatch THE Commit
tee of Ways and Means have decided to
put Chase and Butler on the free list. 1t
should have read cheese and butter
Wade Hampton to the freedmen:
Thou, thou, reign st in this bosom,
There, there, hast thou thy throne;
Thou, thou, thou hast the franchise,
Vote for old massa alone.
1es, yes, yes, certainly;
Am not fondly thine own?
One of the curiosities shown at an ex-
h1bltlon, some time since, protessed to be a
skull of Oliver Cromwell. A gentleman
present observed that it could not be Crom- |
was a small skull. 80, [ know all that
said the exhibitor undisturbed, ''but you see |
this was his skull when he was boy.
Smart chap, that.
"A gentleman dining at a hotel in Chest.
q Iav aSEa cd Of |
the walters, ar Irish girl, just from the EN-
erald Isle, and as green as grass, for nap |
KIN. She, not knowing what was meant,re-
piled, Not one left, sir; all gone. The |
red-headed gentleman ate the last. The
deuce he did, said the other, then ask
HIM it he wont have fried towel
"A bootblack accosted returned soldier |
with the usual salutation =" Black your
boots, sir2 Make EN- shine Looking at |
his unpublished ''gunboats" IN contempla- |
tive way, the war worn veteran replied: |
well, / don care if you do-fall in prompt
ly, though The urchin gazed moment |
at the soldier, surveying him from his leath-
ers upwards, and then turning to a comrade |
near by, shouted out Il say, Bill, lend us
a spit will yer? I've got an army contract.
"A correspondent of the american Ag-
TfcuLturist says that rats dislike coal tar very
much, and that he is in the habit of daub,,
ing 1t about their holes and runs.with good
results. Taking hint from the suggestion
to dip rats in red paint, he proposes to dip
some In coal tar and let them go. Mr.s 9li-
bert j. Green says: HCoal tar mixed with
sand to the consistency of thick mortar. Is
an effectual stopper to rat-holes. The pro-
cess is not patented, and sure cure IS war
ranted. :" /