The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1867-11-27
III. ~ = :I.|-'T = \ .."i''..
A Hard Shell Sermon.

v A Hard Shell Sermon. 81.
"And When They Ris up Early, in
the. Morning, Behold TheylWas all
Dead CoypaSes. ~ ~ = -. : -
Ny friends and hearers, l will
preach onto you this day-wm
and weather permittin-from the
thirty-seyingthe chapter Nv Isaisy,
thirty y-sixthnverse, "And the de-
stroying angel smote in the camp
of the Syreeians a hundred and
four score and five thousand men
ah. "-4nd eracn they riz ZIP In the
morning., behold they Were all, dead
corpuses:!" An thusit as, my un-
converted friends and hearers, that
the destroying an gel stalks around
with his meat axe, ready, to send
us%to the boneyard before we kin
sit down to breakfast:ah. An it is
said, my frens, that roses are red
and violcts are blue-ah, but it's no
use of tryin to- honey -fuggle round
the angel Gabriel when he, :toots
his horn for you,to tuck yo tails
and get under dIrt-ah. 80 -. -, ,...-.- -,
- "And when they riz up carly in
the morning, behold they was, AL
dead :corpuses."2.! 80 o..x...-..,f -
s.n Ny wretehede brethring g and Sis
'tring, .cs-I WIS riding @along'the
road one dayoI seen a man assettin
on the top Nv his fence, with .
double barrel shot gun on his lap
ali, and a swettin an a swettin and
.fannin NV hisself with a noble
straw hat, and a. cussin of the
fortheuv July an North America
an, the Constitution, an the SG-
preme Court, an the bird Nv liberty.
and the President Of: the. United
Statefah, and. when | ;hearn That
man nleussin ,an:seen that big shot
gum: thinks5I to::mvself; in the
words of the2tex-a ah."; ~'Hf., ''>,.$
~ 'sAnd5 when they -riz up early 10
the morning. behold they was. al
dllsead dead 3csoEpuseess9 = i. sao., ID; IL I
- An / toie old Roan=two we; and
:sez I':stny ttngodly frea, If you
swearssin that air way, yon viii
forever and etarnallyi rirmate yo
immortal soul:ah, and never get, a
,nibble when You go u a. fshin.ah;;
tand:sez he; sA'You: go to shell5 you
,d-didd @misshapen,, naisbegotten,
mistake 6v creation-ah, if you had
to cit the grass; y out ny a coffin
crap with free sniggers, you'd git
y1lponca- stump and .lcuss yourself
.outsuvi Odd old yallenhide, and
go to h--Esfor yo4hebtthh ah..'@c!&Ana
! sez E,S"My erin fren, sitd cuts me
to the inalTresfi to see You "a strugg Cling
IN II the bondage Of saf:ah:n:s&Aln nd
=, sez be. "My;punkin. faced customer,
,efsyeu, kin elmo. that airs tall red
oak~trec thar and see aaythingiiin
this here Observation-Disclosures bonding.
and crab grass, 5'eu kin take my,
ole hat for a, henhess,ah:'" An. sez
I,..":My hard swearing Ten. am
;afeared you will never register 70,
name in the book of eternal life :
,ahy',. An sez he;;t"I wcnt1to@tow!n
lass "a Mondaye. to register and /
eouFdn't git 4 sight ny the book
for the d7-nl greasy niggers-ahi,"
'"Oh mistaken human" seq ! r. a
trimble fur yozfuture, fur you are
on-the road a. hadins to: perdition-
.ah?t5; An seq he, "Yeu are a damd
o.e liar, forT m on a road "a leadin
to Benton.ah.. ''.' I heared a groan;
my bearers, and sez !. .,,...,,.,o
: r,s'And when they riznp early in,
the morning behold they were all
dead corpuses.",. -.s.e,. <E-s~,.: :
- An sez he:"sIct> }em griz an be
ID to EN- allah" ooh my sufa
fering feller creeter,' sell .':ef YOU
would bat;sne1for grace you might
come to- jinesthat heavenly quirc:
an bcmancipatedfr from the shaekles
of sin-ah:."a An 'hoccocked- up his
gun and -sez he, II had tWcnty7six
likely niggers mancipated on my
hans Wonst, an eff you open 70 jaw
bout Emancipation to me agin LII
make buzzard .vittles out NV 20
id ole swivefed up carkass befo
hi could cripple nv a gnat-ah. !"
Ny constant frens and hearers,
when I seen that wicked man a
cockin NV his gun-ah, I begun to
feel exceeding jubousy an the words
Nv the tex smoted upon my ear
ah---:- - ...:'.::'
"And when they riz up early in
the morning, behold they was all
dead corpuses." r. =
But my Christian hearers, l felt
called upon to try my han one
more time on this objurit man-ah !;
and sez I, "My blasphemous fren,
you are continually an forever
id ah, eff you don't immejitly
git down ofner that air fence, and
90 to some sequestered spot an
pray for your souls redemption
ah" And he jumped down ofner
the fence shore enuf, but he didn't
60 to no sequestered spot ah but,
my unconscious hearers, he stuck
that bic ole double barrel shotgun