The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1867-12-12
HUMOROUS.

w HI Is a goose ike COW TAN
Because they both grow down.
BRIGHAM calls it "blasphemous
twaddle if any Of his wives suggest
there are too many OF them.
The young lady who was recon-
mended to take exercise to improve
her health, says that she will jump
at an offer. and rua her own risk"
DO you like Goldfish balls, Mr..
Wigging?" Mr.. Wigging, hesitating-
", [ really don't know, Miss; |
don't recollect attending one.
GEN. WooD says, in writing from
Brazil, that the ladies, on being ia
tFoduced to a stranger, insist on being
embraced. heart throbbing against
heart. Ho, for Brazil
A BLITHEsoME Connecticut editor
saw, few days ago, a young o;.l :
seraph-like beauty, who had no teeth !!
He explains by adding that she was
only six months old.
1.-THE only liberty. cap" says a
witty author, is night cap; IN 1T
men visit, one third Of their lives, the
land of sleep-the only land where
they are always free and equal.
A FEW years ago the ladies wore a
kind of hood called kiss me if you
dare" The present style of bonnet
might be called, with equal proDriety,
kiss me if you want to.
The editor of the Glasgow (Mo)
Times says that getting married ha~
taken all the poetry out of his COM
position. He offers this as an apollo
gy for not Z" grinding out poetical
illusions to be appended to the mar
riage notices of some friends.
WHAT perils ladies will encounter
to be in the fashion! They are gen.
orally supposed to show timidity in
the presence of wild cattle, but they
would rather face a mad bull than
not have their dresses gored.
A FRENCH woman has sold her
crop of hair fifteen times since her
childhood. Her total revenue from
this source has, been 1000 francs.
What fertilizers does she use?
WHAT do you call this?" said Mr..
Jones Smith, gently tapping his
breakfast plate with his fork. Call
itI' said the landlady; what do you
call it?" Well, really" said Smith,
refectively, " [ don't know. There is
hardly hairs enough in it for mortar,
but there is entirely too much if it is
intended for hash"
A HAND-o ORGAN grinder was lately
noticed turning away in disgust from
the front of the Deaf and Dumb Asy-
lum, Hartford. His audience, so to
speak, consisted of one little boy, and
he deaf one, intently curious to see
what he was turning the handle for.
AN old German, of indianapolis,
declined to sell any sour krout to
merchant Of that city, because cab
Da.ca we're scarce, and he had only
nut up two barrels to use in case of
Sickness.
[ PRESSED her gentle form to me,
and whispered in her ear, if. when I
was far away, she'd drop for me tear?
[ paused for some cheering words my
throbbing heart to cool, and with her
rosy lips she said, Oh, Ike. you're
sich a fool"
AN English merchant was dining
with a Chinese mandarin, when Z
struck him that perhaps the dish
which he had eaten of so heartily
might have been stewed cats, for he
heard that they ate cats in China.
The Chinaman didn't know English, so
his guest anxiously pointing to the
dish, inquired, Miow, miow !'" No.
no, said the mandarin, Bow wowp
AN English paper relates that
clergyman, at the close of his sermon,
gave notice to the congregation that
In the course of the next week he ex-
pected to go on a mission to the hea-
then. One of his parishioners ex-
claimed, why, my dear sir, you have
never told US one word of this before.
What shall we do?" "Oh, brother"
said the minister, [ don't expect to
go out of town"
A NORTH Carolina rebel was rela-
ting how " the Yanks " fired upon
his company while they were march
ing through a thick wood. They
gladly obeyed an order to lie down,
but there was nothing to shield them
from the terrible volleys of the en-
envy. Why didn't you get behind
tree? asked listener Tree" re-
piled reb ~" there wasn't trees enough
for the officers"
HAD HIM THERE.-It is stated that
an Irishmau called upon disciple of
Esculapius and informed him that his
wife was i'll and required medical at
tendance. The NJ. ID. was willing to
give his attent on to the case, but de-
sired the man to pay in advance, or
enter into an agreement to pay when
] his services were no longer required