Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1867-07-27
The SANITY PARTY.

10th inst. 10 revise" the Union ticket. gave
as their ason for doing 50, that the Union
party had nominated some men for Office who
were not as honest and upright as they had
ought TO be. The long -cued resurrectionists
held up their dirty hands in holy horror and
distorted their countenances into an express
sion intended to depict sorrow. when Mr.
Gorham received the nomination, simply be-
cause he had been lobbyist although he
has distinctly stated and repeatedly denied
ever having received cent for such services
even If he were ever engaged in such an oc-
cupation. But these sanity sons of Belial !;
these disci piles of the Sacramento Union :;
Nalla Wa.la; these men who pretend to be
the pinkS OF honesty, models of virtue and
living monuments of unirnpeachable integri-
ty pure minded, pap-sucking patriots; men
who have grown gray sucking the public
teat, because the people thought they were
old enough to wean and drove them away
A4N'4i 'iAS PHOI!S CIiU must neCuS 'ltNiSe
the Union ticket to suit their sanity tastes
Such immaculate specimens of humanity; ;
such excrucatingly honest individuals; men
whose whole lives have been spent and their
entire energies given solely to the task of
promoting the public veal: public benefact-
orS; the incarnation of every conceivable
could M ho
ike George c. Gorham who confesses he is
subject TO the fralltics and weaknesses that
men ordinarially are. They called Con-
ventlon. As California is comparatively
new State her citizens lave not been so well
supplied with the "saving means of grace"
as some of her elder sisters as a natural Sc
quence the number who have become suffi-
GENTLY "sanctified'' to enter the long haired
lunch-eaters' love-feaSt, held at Sacramento,
was extremely limited. Only about forty
who had never sinned' could be found
The common mortals awaited the result of
the deliberations of the forty seers in breath
less anxiety. They only made four nomina-
tions, and two of the nominees, feeling un-
worthy OF the great honor conferred upon
them declined to accept. For Controller,
they nominated saint named Jones-William
Jones. n close examination of Mr.. Jones'
past record, however, would naturally lead
an unbiased person to suppose that, notwith-
standing his present reputation for holiness,
in his younger days he had gone astray.-
Sometime ago regiment of cavalry-the
Second-was enlisted on this coast. A man
named Jones was appointed Lieutenant
Colonel. He was, to say the least, klep
tomaniac. Larlats with horses at the end.
pistols, ETC., stuck to his hands wonderfully
The following document was issued from the
office of tie Secretary of War:
WAR DEPARTMENT J
ADJCrANT GENERALS OFFICE.
Washington, D. C. August, 9TH 1861.
No. .2' 26o' 5 Extract +
39-Upon the Report of a Military Beard
convened by Special Orders No 10, April
18th. '64, from Head Quarters. Department
of the Pacific, under the Act approved July
22nd. 1861, Lieutenant Colonel William
Jones, 2nd California Volunteer Cavalry, is
by the direction of the President, hereby
DiShonorably Dismissed the service of the
United States with loss of all pay and allow
anceS, for undue and gross familiarity with
the enlisted men of his command authorized
the trading away by men of his command, of
Government horses; neglecting to take up
and account on his returns, the Government
| horses in his possession one of which he
retained and used as private horse neg
lecting to charge an enlisted man as required
by Army Regulations. for Government
pistol, and general neglect Of duty. BY order
of the Sec, of War.
(Signed E. d. TOWNSEND.
ASST ADJT GEM L.
Now, this sweet William, who was dis
honorably discharged from the United States
service for taking things which did not be-
long to him, is the identical Jones who has
received the nomination for Controller from
the saints who revised the Union ticket
and whose "honesty" would not permit them
to vote for Gorham. Consistency, thou art
indeed a jewel. Jones has horses and pistols
for sale cheap.
A SWELL OF FAsHIoY-A Paris letter saws
''embonpoint is the fashion in Paris now. and
some of the most stylish ladies secure it by
wearing false India rubber bellies" That
shows that there are different ways to
"secure it, and at the same time how differ
ent are the tastes of our fair creatures from
the French. The genuine article is by fa1
the most popular in this country, among all
classes.-DrGnaatic Chronicle.
Our metropolitan namesakc inquired of us
the other day, "what we meant by the usual
mode Of recognition adopted by cannes."
1fhe will inform us what he means by the
genuine article" in the paragraph copied
above. we will rcciprocatc. What do you
say:
The Sacramento Bee is obtaining notoriety
1t has reached the acme of unblushing eff
frontcry and the ultima thule of brazcn i'm
pudence. There are forty papers advocating
the election of the regular Union ticket. and
three which support the Resurrectionists /;
the Bee is one of the trio. 1t has the check
to ask the loyal press of the State to come
over to the Putrescent Scalp party for the
sake of harmony" Oh, you honey-suck-
ing hypocrite.
TIE Bee says that 1.-THE charges against
Jones are frivolous" OF course. A man
who steals nothing more valuable than
horses and pistols Is all right. But gen.
tleman who visits Sacramento, during the
session of the Legislature. if for nothing
more than the purpose of taking a boat-ride