The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1867-04-10
Mr.. and Mrs. Smiths Headaches

There's nothing more wholesome than cake be-
fore going to bed, especially plum-cake,' an
swered Smith, dropping into chair. Mrs.
Smith, feeling indisposed at that matitudinal
hour for an argument, assented. "'Try lit
tie tea,' suggested she. "Tea? an old
maids remedy; no tea for me-" "Well,
cof1ee?" II don't think I want anytbing,''
groaned Smith. ooh dear! I'm going to
have day of it, Mrs. Smith had it on the
end of her tongue to say: "Well that is the
usual result of night of it; but she closed
her teeth and bit off the exaspe:ating and
truthful rejoinder. ''Isn't this room awful
hot?" asked Smith, opening six doors without
waiting for hereby, which, if uttered, would
have been that she was shvering with the
draughts. Then seating himself at the table
Il think I will have tea, Mrs Smith it will
be sure to upset Or cure me; it don't matter
which," he adds, with despairing groan
and I may as we'll eat a piece of thai beef
steak, while am about tt for penny. in
for pound > oh dear"
Il think I'll come and sit in your room,
Mary" said Smith to his wife, after the tea
and beefsteak had gone down. cit looks nice
and pleasant here, and I like to stay with you
when | have the headache." Mary turned
her back, that he need not see the smile Turk
ing round her mouth at the conclusion of his
sentence, and brought pillow to the sofa for
his disorganised head. Mot that-oh not
that it will only heat my head, oh dear
Mary, (solemnly,) do you know l think |
made a mistake in eating that beefsteak %
Mary, with heroism which should place her
name in "Fox's Book of Martyrs did not
reply: II knew it at the time, Smith, but my
only chance of preventing you from eating
I didn't say So" MARY" said Smith, as she
seated herself to her sewing, "don't YOU
think I should feel better if | had Jug of
boiling water at my feet?" g Perhaps you
would" said Mary, dropping her spools and
thimble and buttons on the floor 70 hunt up
the Jug and hot water herself, for Smith had
the opinion that wife should attend person
ally to these things, although three great fat
kitchen and cooking their heels on the range.
perhaps you would" MARY" asked
Smith, after this arrangement was carried out,
''don't you think this bottle might be pushed
a little closer? l don't feel it except on one
FOOT eyes, said Mary, dropping her work
once more els that ri ht ?" "Oh-h yes
answered Smith, rolling hislef eye in exstacy
as the heat permeated the sole of his off foot
" how nice it is to have you round me when
I'm sick - The same funny look came again
round the corners of Mary's mouth, but Smith,
bless his obtuse soul, didn't see it.
MARY" said Smith. Il think I could 60
to sleep now if you would close those curtains
and things, and carry that d bird down
stairs, and shut out the light" Yes,"' said
Mary, "and III take my sewing in the next
room" "Do," said Smith. And gathering
up her work basket and Smiths pants, that
had several vital buttons missing, and which
he wished replaced, Mary departed.
"Mary," said Smith, suddenly appearing
at the door of the room where she had seated
herself, with his hair rampant, and blanket
shawl sticking to his back, '*it's no use. l
dont feel bit better. I'm sure I don't know
what to do. Do you really think it was the
cake?" Mary's patience was waning. Il
know it, joint always makes you sick.
Don't you recolect asked you not to eat it
at the time 2" "Well, all can say isl said
Smith, Il don't believe it. Oh dear, where
are the morning papers ?"
That was another way of asking Mary to
read them to him, which she did, and without
saying, as Smith did on similar occasions,
"Oh, there is nothing in the papers this NOR
fact they are quite dull-here they are-per-~
haps you can pick out something for yourself"
Blessed be the Lord At twelve, Smith
sank into the arms of Morpheus, and slept till
three; but alas waking, begged for his wife
and a wash bowl. Both were forthcoming,
as was also the expected result. The rest Of
the day. till dark, the blinds were opened and
shut; the bottle of hot water on and off duty,
and Mrs Smith staid by TO SEE HIM BE SICK.
About seven in the evening he despairingly
signifed his wish to retire, adding, Il sup
pose, of course, you don't feel sleepy at ALL"
NO." said Mary, looking from the window
at lovely moon that was just rising, mo,
not very "Well" said Smith, "don't
come, if you don't want to, but I can't sit up
any longer, and I have no idea I shall get to
Sleep So Mary went to her pillow with her
bearded baby.
A week had elapsed. Smith was in good
health and spirits. He could smoke. The
world wasn't charnelhouse after all Mary
was fiat on her back with a nervous headache.
"sick 20 asked Smith. "Shocking pain
in my temples" said Mary. "What pity, y
answered Smith, pairing his nails at the win
dow, without turning his head. eft is going
to be such lovely day-quIte like spring.
Have you the least idea where my gray pants
are % "No," said Mary, family, from the
pillows. Il think in the closet" So
strange" said Smith, ''about those gray pants;
I don't think they've worn very welI-do you ?
And do you know, Mary, about the milk-bilI,
whether it is right or not? and, by the way,
did my shoes come home last night? and has
that man been to fix the front door? "My
head aches so bad" said Mary, that |
can't remember anything. Biddy will tell
you" Well, I'm sorry" said Smith, tying
his cravat at the glass. 1.-THE very best thing
you can do is to keep quiet, and III take my
self out OF the way. Sleep is the best thing
for YOU So Smith put on his heaviest pas'r
of boots, and went all over the house, and let
The doors bang, and whist]ed the " stars and
strpes,' and ate his breakfast, and then came
up to her to discuss the respective claims OF
pork and beef and chicken for that days din
ner closing by another recommendation to-
lyaen Quiet q nd not bother herself about any, |