Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1867-09-05
DEAD BROKE.
BY THE "rAr cQSrRrDUrOR.


We found man seated on curb stone, near
The post Office, last night, muttering to himself
apparently, as there wss no one else to mutter
to. We felt constrained to ask him what he
was doing there?
"Haint doin' nothin'," was the reply.
"Where do you belong?'
Don't blong nowhere, and nowhere don't
b'long TO me-"
"Who are your
I'm Broke"
"Well, suppose you are broke, you've got a
name. haven't you? What is il p
Il tell We I'm Broke.-Dead Broke-thats
NV name. and that's my natur'. Ny father
was Broke before me- II he hadn't been,
wouldn't he Broke now--at least, not SO bad.
Nv mother was a Peaseley, but she wanted
husband and she got Broke-that's my dad
and Brokegotmc. I've been Broke ever since
For few moments the unhappy d. Broke
buried his face in his hands, and seemed lost in
the most doleful reflections. Then, raising his
head. he exclaimed bitterly:
=" wish had been born colt !"
"why do you wish you had been born
colt ?"
because colt amt broke until he is two or
three years old was Broke the moment |
saw the light, and never got over it. 1t is
hard to be broke so young
"How did your parents come to call you
Dead Broke?'"
"Wsll. We see. NJ soon rs was born some-
thing seemed to tell me that l had got TO DO
Broke all my life, unless could get my name
changed by act of Legislature, and that, you
know, would be an impossibilty."
How an impossibiity ?"
" Are YOU such blockhead as TO suppose
that man can get anything through the Leg
islature when he is broke =
"You are right. Go on"
"When the conviction forced itselfupo my
infant brain, confused as il was by recent ex-
periences. that must be Broke all my life, ]
felt that there was nothing left TO live for, and
lost all conciousness at once. Il have found
only part of it since.l"
He is deadp cried my mother, wringing
her hands,
"Yes." groancd my father, " dead Broke q"
al revived. alas but Dead Broke became
my name aud have been dead broke ever
since.
"My name has been fatal TO me all through
life. The smallest boy In school always CroFe
me in playing marbles. broke more windows
than any other boy in base ball always
broke down at rectatiohs, and had my head
broke every day by the schoolmaster When
| | left school went 10 clerk 1t for n broker.
One day there was heavy deficit in the ac-
counts. was afraid he might think that |
had something to do with it--so II broke.
They caught INC though, and put me in jail, but
broke out
"Out Of Jail ?"
NO, d--n Il, broke om ieih he small
por"
"Whnt did you do next2'
"After the court had disposed Of my case,
was allowed TO 60 into tho brokerage business
again"
How was thatP
al broke stone in the penitentiary, dog gonit 4!
After got out broke everything | broke
nv promise, broke the Sabbath. and broke the
pledge"
"Wore you ever married 2
"Yes tsighng deeply Matrimony broke
me up worse than anything else. Ny wife
was regular ripper. She broke up my fur
niture and the dishes, nearly broke my back
with lat-iron and finally broke my heart"
"By running away
mo, indeed, by sticking 10 me-
You have had hard time Of it."
"'All owing to my name. But bad as dis
like it, it's mine | came by it honestly. You
wouldn't think anybody else would want to be
in my place, would yo? but there are thou
sands of imposters all over the country, trying
to pass themselves off for me-
ain what way?
When they tell their creditors that they
are Dead broke"
There was another pause, during which the
unhappy po5scssor of an unfortunate namo
could be heard 10 sob. At length he broke
out
It viii bea simple and fitting inscription for
my tombstone. though"
what %