The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1867-05-30
BOOTHS DIARY

| ~ "thO' APill Lo-It' IIludyj tH'
ides.
Until today nothing was ever though
OF sacrificing to our country's wrongs
For six months VIC had worked to cap
ture ; but our cause being almost lost
something decisive and great must b'
done. But its failure was owing t,
others, who did not strike for thci
county with heart. / struck boldly
and not as the papers say. l walkeC
with a firm step through a thousand o
his.iriends. and was stopped, but pushed
on. A colonel was at his side shout
ed SIC sc,qper !! " before | fired Ii
jumping, broke my leg. l passed al
his pickets, rode sixty miles that night
with the bone of my leg tearing the Acsl
at every jump. | can never repent it
though we hated to kill. Our country
owed all her troubles to him, and God
simply made me the instrument Of his
punishment The country is not
april, 1869 what it was. This fore,
ed Union is not what [ have loved.
care not what becomes of me. | have
no desire to outlivo my country. This
night before The deed, l wrote a long
article and left it for one of the editors
Of the National NhHycacer, in which
| fully set forth our reasons Cor our pro,
ceeding. He or the government.
April 2lst.--Aftcr being hunted like
a dog through swamps, woods. and last
night being chased by gunboats till l
was forced to return, wet, cold, and
starving, with every mans hand against
me, am here in despair. And why {?
For doing what Brutus was honored +;
for, what made Tell hero. sAnd yet l,
for striking down greater tyrant than
they ever knew, am looked upon as a
common cut-throat. Ny action was
purer than either of theirs. One hoped
to be great, the other had not only his
country's but his own wrongs to
a7enge. hoped for no gain. l
knew no private wrong. [ struck for
my country, and that at once; a
country that groaned beneath this
tyranny and prayed for this end.
Andyet now behold the cold hand
they extend to me. God cannot pardon
me if 1 have done wrong. Yet l cannot
see my wrong, except in serving a deS
generated people. The little, the very
little, I left behind to clear my name,
the government will not allow to be
printed. So ends all. For my country
l have given up all that makes life
sweet and holy : brought misery upon
my family, and am sure there is no par
don in Heaven for me since man con-
demus me SO. I have culy heard OF
what has been done, except what l did
myself, and it gals me with horror,
God, try and forgive me and bless my
Mother. To night l will once more try
the river, with the intent to cross,
though l have greater desire, and al
most a mind o return o Washington,
and in measure clear my name, which
[ feel | can do. 1 do not repent the
blow Istruck. l may before nay Gods
but not 10 man. think l have done
well, though L am abandoned, with the
curse OF Gam upOn-. When # Tie
uorM knew my heart that one blow
would have made me great, although l
did desire no greatness. Tonight | try
to escape these bloodhounds once more
Who, who can read his fate +? Gods
will be done. have too great a soul
to die like criminal May he spare
me that and let me die bravely. l bless
the entire world have never hated or
wronged any one. This last was not
wrong unless God deems it so, and it's
with Him to damn or bless me. Hard
for this brave boy with NE, who often
prays-yes, before and since, with true
and sincere heart Was it crime in
him +? If so, why can he the same? |
DO not wish to shed drop, bnt | must
fight the course. lis all that's left
me.
Upon piece of paper found in the
diary, and supposed to have been torn
from it, is written the following:
Ny DEAR :-(piece torn out.) For
give me but | have some little pride.
| cannot blame you for want Of hospital
ity you know your affairs l was sick,
tired, with broken limb, and in need
Of medical advice. I would not have
turned a dog from my door in such a
plight. However, you were kind enough
to give US something to eat, for which
| not oaiy thank you, but on account of
the rebuke and manner in which to-
[piece torn out.1 1t is not the substance,
but the way in which Kindness is exten-
ded that makes one happy in the ac-
ceptance thereof. The sauce to meat is
ceremony meeting were bare without
it. BE kind enough to accept the en-
closed 50, although hard to spare, for
what we have received.
Most respectfully