Ashtabula weekly telegraph. [volume] (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1853-1873, 1867-08-31
,I.LoEa Without Nonsense.
= :, Not a Bit Like a novel.

+.
+ o i's1ss fa..=sss - Once upon a
tine there was. fair young maiden,
whose name was Mary, although they
called her Moll for short. She wasn't a
ftall, dark-eyed maiden, with clear, trans
parent skin, and lips like cherries, and
cheeks sufused with bushes. She didn't
have glossy black hair, sweeping back in
wavy tresses from her queenly brow, and
her form wasn't a bit like Hebe's. No,
there was none. of those things, On the
contrary,i she was short and thin, and her
hair was red and her face was freckled
and her mouth was innocent of all tooth
brush adjuncts and Establishments, and
although she wore pads, She was still a
right nice girl. And there. was a young
man who fell in love with her, and his
name was Bill, although they called VIE
liam when they wanted to hurt his feel
ings, for he didn't like it much. He was
not fine. looking, and had neither curly
brown hair nor a mustache. Not much.
Bill laid himself out on soap. locks. and
wore q goatee that he had dyed twice a
week. ~. ST
Now this Bill, he was in love with Ma
ry, but did he go and make adeliberate
ass of himself?1 Did he l say, go into a
grove with her, and in the soft moonlight
by the streamlet that murmured sweetly
by, and with the tender zephyrss sigh
ing through the foliage, fall down on
his knees, seize her .jeweled hand, and
breath his deep affection in the tender
accents of fond attachment, and swear
'sby yon bright orb above us, always to
be thine % Did he, l say? You can
lust bet he didn't. You can safely lay
out your whole revenue on that. Will
liam knew too much about the price of
I,pants to go fioppin around on the wet
llgrass with his good clothes on besides
be never cared anything about stream
lets or, any kind OF cold water. except to
mix with his gin. No, sir; it was ex-
ceedingly strange; but this infatuated
/ William met her at the alley gate, and
he stood right. up on his old legs, and
says: Say, old gal, s'posen we get
hitehed % - ..osz'sl..f'
- But how did .AIoll behave? {? Did she
go droppin to sleep over on,t the bricks in
a dead faint, or did she hide her gentle
head on his. shirt bosom, to conceal, her
blushes?, No, she didn't; and she didn't
say, 81 am ever thine, my own love. deaI
William - Oh ]! my, no. She looked
right in his yellow eyes, and says, @Im
in, Billy; I'm the gal for these sort Of
! things. SO in''L And instead Of refer,
ring him to her father she only said;
EeW ont the old. man bust right out
Hhen. you tell him ? .Ha! hap and she
\ laughed But she-didn't ask William to
A Imollyfy her fond father No, mo. She
very wickedly advised him to spoke the
old man right in the nose if he gave him
any of his lip. She was a funny girl, that
Mary. go -.- ..5.3s @
Now, the old man wasn't wealthy: fol
he sold soap fat for a living, and SO he
! didn't think Bill was nosing around after
his stamps; so when Bill asked him ht
neither ordered him away nor did the
dewy moisture gather in his. eagle eyes
as he passed his homestitched up there
and said; Z @4Blessyou, my children, bless
your' Oh, no; nothing OF the sort
He Just blew his old red nose on hi
bandana, and told Bill to take her along
for he was glad to get rid other, ant
William would be the same way soon
for she was awful rough on'Victuals, ant
{ always broke plates when she got mad
So, you see; there really was no neees
tsity for William to come at midnight