Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1867-11-02
Il HARD SHELL SERMON,

you this day-win and weather permittin-
J from the thirty scvinsth chapter NV Isaisy
thiry-sixth verse, {" And the destroying angc
smote in the camp NV the Syrecians hun
drcd and forcscorcs and five thousand men ah
An" mhen MGy NJ. up eariy IN tie mo,mtng
dchold Mcy acus aN dcod corpnses ,' Al
thus it is, my unconvcrtcd trends and hear
ers, that the destroying angel stalks around
with his meat axe, ready to sen us to the bone
yard before we kin set down to breakfast ah
An it is said, my frcns, that roses arc red
land violcts are bluc-ah, but it's no use of try.
ing to. honey fuggle round the angel Gabriel
when he toots his horn for you to tuck yo tails
and get under drt.ah.
| E" An whom they riz up early in the morn
ing, behold they was all dead corpuses"
| Ny wrctchcd brcthring and ss,ring, cs |
was riding along the road one day, | seen a
man scttin OH the top NV his fence, with il
double barrel shot gun on his lap. al, an a
swettin an swcttin and fannin NV hissclr
with noble straw hat, and q cussin Nv the
torthc of July, an North Amcriky an the
Constitution, and the Supreme Court, an the
bird NV liberty, and the President Wv the Uni
ted States all, and when heam that man Gus
sin an seen that big shot gun, thinks to nv
self, in the words of the tcx ah:
And when they rz up early in the morn
ing behold they was all dead corpuses."
An tolc old Roam two wo aud scz I, NY
ungodly frcn, if you swear in that mir way
you viii forever and ctcrnally runatc 20 i'm
mortal soul,ah, and never get uibblc when
you 90 lishin-ah )" and scz he, " You 90
too hell, you aam'd old mis.shapen, mis- he
gotten, mistake ov creation. ah cf you had
to GIT the grass out Nv a cotting crap with
free n'ggcrs, you'd git upon stump and cuss
yourself out Nv 80 dam'd old yal!ow hide, an
20 to hell for yo health all [" Aud scz I,
My erin frcn it cuts me to the marrcr to sec
you strug@lln IN the bondage ov.sin ah" An
sez he, My punkin faced customer, cf you
KIN cline that air tall rcd oak tree thar and
see anything III this here miserable Ian but
bonding and crab grass, you kin take my ole
hat for h"Nncss- -ah" An scz I, +" My hard
'swearn frcn, am afearcd you will never reg
lister yo name i'll the book NV eternal life-ah"
An scz he went to town lass Monday to
register and couldn't git sight NV the
book for the dam greasy niggcrs ah." "Oh.
mistaken human," scz |, "l trimble fur 70
future. fur you are on the road lcatlcn too
Per ditlom-ah." An scz he, You arc a
dam'd ole liar, for I'm on the road lcadin to
Bcnton-ah." heavcd groan, my hearers
IN scZ l.
F" IN when they riz up early in the morn.
ing behold they were all dead corpuscs."
an seq he, Let en- riz an be dam'd to
en- allah" "Oh, my suilcrin Teller crcctur,"
sez "cf you would be sure fur grace you
might cum to iinc that heavenly quirc, an be
mancpatod frum the shacklcs NV sin ah -
An he cooked up his gon an scz he, /" had
iwcaty-six likely niggcrs mancipated on my
hans wons5, an cf you open yo jaw bout man
cipation to me agin I'll make buzzard vttlcs
out Nv 20 dam'd ole swivcled up caclass befo
hell could cripple gnat-ah." My con.
stant trens and hearers, when seen that
wicked man cockin Nv his gun all, berun
TO feel exceeding jubous, an the words Nv the
tex smoted upon my ear-ah-
An when they riz up early in the mornin
behold they were all dead corpuses"
But, my Christian hearers, felt called
upon to try my han one more tine on this OBJ
jurit man-ah; an scz I, "My blasphemous
fren, you are continually an forever dam'd-ah
cf You don't immcjitly git down ofncr that
air fenccah, and 60 to some sequestcred spot
An pray fur ycrsoul's redemption n.ah" Andhc
jumped down ofncr of the fence shore cnuf.
but he didn't 60 to no scGucstcred spot.ah
but, my unconscious hcarers he stuck that
big ole double barrel shot gun close up to nv
reverend head all, and scz he, " I've bearn
scqucstcr was the next thing to confscator.
and ef that's 80 business in this here settle
mcnt, You had better begin to grow miiy dam
small and beautifully LEES ah" An, my he ,r.
ers, 1t looked to me as cf drove NV mu'es
could q trotted down the barrels NV that air
ole slotgun-ah, an put spurs to ole Roam,
on galluped through the wilderness fur 70
an twenty hoursah an thinks, my hearers
eff that air man dont't pull up soon, he'll cit
to the end NV his rope.ah.
And when they riz up early in the morn
in, behold they were all dead cCrpuscs"
And sure enuf, my patient hearers, in about
three days, that profTanatcd man was Tux up
by the frccdman's burc and tried by a milling.
tary commission, an Lung fur KILN Nv MIG.
gcr-ah; an, my isncn frens and hearers,
when | seen him standin on the grca. cmcn.
sty Nv space an kickin at the forth district,
scz too myself, in the languig uv the inspired
himster-ah
conc more sinner is dead and gone,
silver spade to dig his grave
\ golden chain to lei him down,
buglc horn to blow on-ah"
I" IN when they riz up early in the nornin,
behold, too, they was all dead corpuses.'
A BEAUTIFUL LEGEND D.-They tell the
story that ono day Rabbi Judah and his brcth-
rcn sat in the church on fast day, disputing
about rest. One said it was to have sufficient
wealth, yet without sin. The second said it
was fnmo and praise of all men Tie third