The tri-weekly standard. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1866-1868, 1867-01-24
-..-... For the Standard.
Letter from Jacob Turnabout-

SLEEPY BOTTOM, Jan. IA, 1857.
DEER BRUrHER PELL :-Sence rit to yor
lest too days ago, which wuz SATURDAY you
know, am very much of a changed man II
INV feelins and opinyuns. But / will jest
give YOU the whole history of affares.
Not havin had time to reed the Scentanc
YOU sent as l orter hav dun 1 went over to
class-meetin Sundy evenin, as rit you wuz
gwine to do, and handid it to bruther Jones,
the class -leeder, askin him eff he pleesed to
take up CONSUMPTION fur it, our church pa
per bruther Pell wuz editur Surtinly sed
he, after the meetin is over. Show enutt al
ter the meetin, bruther Jones, asked the men,
burs to stop little and heer him reed sum OF
bruther Pell's church paper. No sooner wuz
your name menshuned than every body was
all ankshus to heer it. And then IS wnen
mist it. 1t makes me so mad to think about
it that eff it haddent bin so long sence
cussed any think 1 would do it (kase you
know qce don't believe its no harm no how
Eff Ihad lest sed bruther Pell is Eddltur and
no more. they would all have conscribed at
once. But to 90 on, bruther Jones he opened
it and red u few lines. Why SEE he bruther
Turnabout this haint no church paper, sure
bruther Pell cant be the Edditur. This Is
rale perlitikal kunsarn, and haint fit to be red
by kristians on Sundy. Why SEE bruther
Jones you is surtinly mistaken, fur bruther
Pell sent it to me to git up consumption,
and sed he wuz Edditur, tho / haint red 1t
none Well, well sed he, eff here amt bruther
Pell's name shore enuff-he is stopped preech-
in, and wuss, he is turned perlitikal Edditur.
Then he is fell frum erase sed old bruther
Landmark, and is jist as bad as Judus, and
like him, and all other traters ort to be hung.
No he haint fell frum no erase sed old bruth-
er Findhimout, for he never had no erase to
fall frum He is rale hipperkrit, wolf in
gotes' skin, as the Scripter SEE, gwine about
scekin whom he may dewour. Yes, SEE
young Jack Fisticuff, and when he kums
down here any more with his sharp sarmints
at us boys about horse-racin and the like,
when he is all the time no better than we is,
a riGin his perlitikal hobbys and tryin to
race it on 'em, we will see he gifts his jest dis
sarts, as old Squire Bighead used to say
SEE |. be quiet, brethren, it is true bruther
Pel is lost his religin and turned perlitikal
Edditur but then, mind you he is true loyal
man yit, and maybe jest turned EdCiitur to
fire away at Wanse and Grayhum and them
other traters to the South who woulddent be
satisfied with nuthin but the blood of our
sons Now eff he is only blackslid and is
loyal Wit, we will Jest kummend him over 70
the tender MARCHES of Satan and say no more
about it. This is n free kuntrv you KNOW
So you are takin up for the old hypperkrit
then is you bruther Turnabout, SEE old sister
Holdfast You haint no better than he IS
He shant never stay at my house no more, !
squeaked old sister Simmons. Imean to 60 |
rite strait and be kristened over agin said lit
tie Jimmy Jones, and will git married over
agin sed, sister Crushuns, and eff l could | |
would have every SIGH preecher run out OF the |
State, cummin and marryin folks when he
haint fit And all my children, said sister |
Straitforward-we seq |, eff the wimmin is |
pitched in. had better be gwine. So tux my |
hat and left the meetin house.
As KUN along, meditatin on how strange |
things wurz KUN to pass, who should meet
but old bruther Waterspout. SEE he, good
evenin brother Turnabout and what is the
muse SEE l, brother Waterspout, did you
know bruther Pell had backslid, fell frum
erase and turned perlitikal Edditur. No
sed he, but bruther Turnabout there haint
no harm in that. Good evenin SEE l to
myself then eff there haint no harm in Rev.
W. E. Pell of the N. c. Confurrens comm
out uf the pulpit, tralin the pure westmints
Of the gospil minister in the pollerticks of
these excitin times, spendin his days and
mites and Sundays too in studyin up new
plans to hurt mems reputation that is purer
than he is, misleadin sinners and tryin to
fire their hearts, when so many preshus souls
is sinkin down, then there haint no religun,
and wont be playin the fule no longer.
And ever sense then, bruther Pell, have
bin gittin wuss until have KUN to the kon-
klusion kin konsienshusly go on and jine
you in edith a perlitikal paper. So you
may look fur me next Sundy evenin at your
house, where we will make the bargin and
agree upon the TURNS, and fix up our pro-
gram how we kin pile it on them traters that
woulddent let US have peace, until our suns
was all killed, our wimmin in sorrow and our
little children begin bread and GROWN up
in iddleness
Your old trend and perlitikal bruther,
JACOB TURNABOUT.