davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1867-03-23
Arterus Wards First Letter.

The death of Mr.. Cha>. r Browne
Artemus War,h adls interest to hi-
inimitabIe writings. lie begun
TO write for the columns of the
Cleveland Ptam|6ctcr in the sum
mer of 1888. His letters. first
merely written for the purpose OF
filling up" when copy was
scarce, sprang almost Immediately
into widespread notoricty. The
first one appeared in the fall of 1868.
Here it is:
ITO THE EDITOR OF THE PLAIN
DELER: Sir: I'm moving along
slowly along-down tord your place.
| want you to write me Il letter, say
in how's the show bizniss in your
place. My show ut present consists
of three moral bears, a Kangaroo,
a anus IN little raskal--twould make
you larf to dcth to see the little cuss
jump up aud squeal, wax iisgcrs of
&. Washington. Gen. Taylor, John
Bunyan, DR.. Kidd and DR.. Webster
in the act of killing DR.. Parkmun,
besides several miscellaneous moral
wax stattoots of celebrated piruts
and munlcrers, etc, exalted by few
and cxccllcd by none. Now, Mr..
Editor, scratch off few lines sayin
how is the show business down ut
your place. l shall have my hand
bills done at your ofiiss. Dcperd
upon it. want you should get my
handhl'l. up in famin style.
"AIso get up trcmcnus excite
ment in yer paper bout my unparal-
lclcd show. We must fetch the pub
lie somehow. We must work on
their frclings--come the moral on
'cm strong. If it's temperance
community, tell 'cm l sined the
pledge fifteen minutes artcr l was
bora. But on the contrary. if your
people take their tods, say that Mis-.
ter Ward is as genial iellcr as we
ever mct--full of conviviality, and
the life ard sole of the soshul Bored.
Take, don't you? If you say any
thing bout the show, say my snaix is
as harmless rs Il new born babe.
Wha; interesting study iii to sec
a zoolo gical animal like a snaiS, under
perfect suhjcction! My Kangaroo is
the most larfable little cuss I ever
saw-all for fifteen cents. am aux.
yus to sekcwcr your influence. l re-
pcet, in regard to them handbills,
that shall get them struck off up to
your printin otfiss. My perlitica
opinyuns agree with yourn exactly.
l know they do. bccauz | never saw
a man whoose didn't. Respectful y
yours. A. WARD.
"You scratch my back and lie
scratch YOUR back
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1867-03-23
oFFIcIAL.
LAWS OF TIE UNITED STATES,
Passed ut the Second session Of the Thirty.
Ninth Congress.
[PUELrC-No. 81

JCELIC-NO. y.
An Act to repeal section thirteen Of " An
act tn suppress insurrcclioa, to punish
treason and rebellion. to sicze and con-
fscate the property of rebels. AMI for
other purposes approved July seven
ternh, eighteen hunlrrd and sixtr two.
Be 1t enacted by tie Senate and House Of
Representatives. Of tie United Stairs Of
America IN Congress- assembled, That the
thistrenth section OF an act entitled An
10 suppress instruction, to punish treas m
and rcb lion, to Sicz' and conlicatc the
properly of rebels, and for other purposes" "
approved July $ ventrrnth, eighteen hun
dr.d and sixty-iwo, b.. and same is here
by, rep alrl.
SCHUYLER COLFAX,
Speaker o. the Hous. o. r pres natives.
LAFAYETTE S.FOSTER,
Preside It # he Scnat- pro tenn ore.
NoTE by DEPARTMENT OF STATE
The foregoing act having been presented
to.tl.e President Of of the United Strtcs
for his approval, and not having been re-
turned by him TO the llolse of Congress
in which it originated within the tim" pre-
scr;bed by the Constitute, of the United
States, HIS become a !aw without his ap-
F:ovai.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1867-03-23
Ths American Cslony in Palestine. e.

\ Cousian'inop!e correspondent
under date of December IL, writes:
The colony of Americans which
landed few months since Mt Jalfa,
is learning from bitter experience
what it ought to have known before
leaving America, that "Jordon is q
hard road to travel" The America,,
Consul reports, as l understand, that
the mar who has organized the en-
petition has proved to be unworthy
of tue trust rcposel in Him, and the
colonists find themselves in need OF
everything, or without money either
to return or stay where they are.
They are suffering from the fevcrs OF
the country, and the mortality among
them has been very great. They
wish to get back to America, aud
beg the Embassador to send man
ot-war to take them off. 1t is not
characteristic of Americans to give
up under such trials, but they feel
they have been deludcd.
In n strange land, unprotected,
broken down by sickness. without
money, surrounded by those who
speak only u strange language, aud
who look upon them rs interlopcrs,
it is not strange that their hearts
should fail them. 1t is sad to think
how many hearts have been broken,
by disappointment in that land, how
many have delndcd themselves into
crusadcs to that land which we call
the "IIoly Land" When will the
world learn that tho Kingdom OF
Christ is spiritual Kingdom, and
that the Jerusalem where he is to
reign is a spiritual Jerusalem, and
not the old, dirty jewish city which
was once (but not now the type of Il
heavenly city.
The Porte has made formal pro-
test against this colony, and has de-
clared that they cannot permit
Americans to colonizc Palestine.
They cannot allow foreigners to take
possession of their most fertile pro-
vince. 1t belongs, they say, to the
natives, who pay taxes and do militia
~ service. Shall these be driven
from their fields by a colony Of Yam
KEGS, who will be citizens Of another
government aud pay them nothing,
who might even be inclined some
day, to take possession Of the conn
try? SO they request Mr.. Morris to
send them home again. This pro-
test came before the news given
above. aud. of course, Mr.. Morris in.
formed :hc Turks that he had no
power TO interfere with American
citizens. who had right TO go where
they pleased Probably the Frcnel,
Pa' the Turks mp to making the pro
tess They ls-ok upon Syria n theirs.
and it n.ixA, inferscre with their
Eias- of csaqae~t 10 hare colsuv
4 A-~-rs=sz- a yslfz. The psr< -
Ssr2za~z1-
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1867-03-23
rUBLIC-N, 10.l

An Act 10 regulate the elective franchise
in the Territories OF til, United St,trs.
Be Il enacted by The Srnatc nnd House
Of Representatives of tie UaHcd States Of
America IN Congress 0ssembled, That from
and aftef the p ls.asr OF this act here shall
be no denial Of the elective tranch Sc in
any of the Terri orr- the United States,
now, or herait"r to b.. organiz.d, t. any
citizen thereof, OF account OF race, color, or
previous condition OF scrvitud-; and all
acts or parts oi &C 3, either of Congress or
the Legislative Assemblies of said Terri.
tories iaconsis: ent with the provisions Of
this act, are hereby declared null and void.
SCHUYLER tOLFAX.
Speaker of The lIonsr of Represent tatives.
LAFAYETTE S. FOSTER.
President Of the Senate pr, tempore.
NoTE BY THE DEPARTMENT OF STATE.
The foregoi' & act having hem pr-sen-
ted to the President Of the L nit-d States
f'r his approval, and not having been re-
turned hy him tc the Htuse of Congress
in which it originated within the time pre-.
scrib-d by the Constitution Of the United
Sta'es. has become q Law without appro-
val
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1867-03-23

- -
p M~us~~@s b s~@-.s @s~A. o..
sss @s~ g~~ss@sSz ,nmu~~@~s samx
su~ A~unau~s 81 man @~ms ssm ~m
ss~~zar w'z~ns aa~suz@aeNux % ~~zzs~w
z~ama@. m ~-wN4@aw a&n = ~ ~
@s~. rv~~=4v -.um<an~<. sz~@&~<
wms e-~s~-u 1@& p-@sax. 4ma a~m~
ssux @ua s~sF a~u~n -uun saa~ ~~~w
e. sa1 s@zma@aung aT wm1mw. 10
s-A i-z~s go h~~m &urrnr=~ml !. q
s~a& nAs~I 90 ~@1 ~nn s~p1nw -
ss~ wM ~ s=rF~s~ri s<. a.zms.r
tAzzr k-A hzr< -zzses E<e nnen Bar
f~sse SaG~s @r~w 1ra~ E4rry rsswz rAsm
oa ~hzs is sOer b. he eye, - na.Be
'he bS.d Sea - very drsaafsl - 10
3 generally szIfo~ed To BE-
We bathesi. of coarse, and the ex-
perienees gained thereby are snch -
iis water alone affords. Its taste is
horrible. No mixture Of vinegar.
alum and sulphur. or any similar
compound which would fret the
skin and pucker the tongue, can
give any idea OF it. One must taste
the deceptive liqnid, so clear. and
beautiful, yet so vile and nauseous,
III order to appreciate its compost
tion, and must let his lips, cracked
and blistcrcd in the sun, and his skin
punctured with mosquitoes and other
insects, be touched by this li,npid
wash, before he can estimate its en-
ergy. Its buoy yancy is also we'll
known, but one must swim through
its heavy waters to realize the novel
sensation of being unable to sink.
The first attempt to swim never fails
to produce shouts of laughter, a dan
gerous levity, as giving admission to
the water by the lips. The moment
we breast the waves, we are aston
ished to find our feet fly up to the
surface, and all our old ideas of
equilibrium vanish. The most CON-
Portable attitude is either floating on
the back or sitting in the water, with
a gentle movement of the hands to
balance our water seats; aud then
the ease, quiet and composure with
which our object can be accomplished
inaugurate new idea of aquatics.
Some travellers tell us that they have
dived, or attempted to dive into
these depths. The very idea would
have terrified mo
I felt uneasy once when losing
connection with terra frn,u, had..a
vision of depth of possible 1900
feet, near if not bcneatL me. Might
not the edge Of the abyss be few
yards off? And the idea of hanging
over such prccipice with who knows
what below, was enough to make
one look at the pebbles at his feet
for comfort. Besides, l did not see
how anybody with only hands for
paddles, and without the help of u
screw, could ever force his way
through those leaden depths. It
may pain some solemn critics to
know that we very frequently broke
the silence of the Dead Sea by shouts
Of mcrrment. The fact nevertheless
must be confess sscd-though we are,
in some quarters, given to UNDER
stand that whatever colored garments
n clergyman may wear in Palestine,
he is always to write as one travels
in a gown and bands. We enjoyed
our bath exceedingly, felt much re
frcsl,ed by it, and did not find the
pungent effect of the water on the
skin peculiarly disagrecable-
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1867-09-14

FIRE THIS MoRNIyG.-A few minutes
past IL o'clock this morning a fire broke
out in Charles Camlade's grocery at the
corner Of Beale and Mission streets.
The alarm was promptly given and the
engines were soon on the ground. How
ever, most Of the contents Of the gro
Gerry were destroyed. The stock was
insured for $500 in the Builders Insur-
auce Company, which will not cover
the loss. An adjoining building occu-
pied by G. W. Degare was nearly de.
stroyed and most Of the contents with it.
It was insured for 81, 900 in the Manhat-
tan Insurance Co. Mr.. Degarelost alarge
assortment Of tools and house furn-
iture valued at considerably more than
his insurance. The house next adjoin-
ing his towards the east was occupied
by Mr.. Brady. 1t was insured for $500
10 the Manhattan Company, but not as
extensively damaged as the others.
Charles Miles, glass %stainer, whose shop
adjoiued the grocery fronting on Mis-
sion street, had a large amount of stock
tools, and machinery destroyed, togeth-
er with some very valuable patters used
10 his business. he had an insurance
policy Of $500 in the Firemsn's Fund
Insurance Company, which will not
cover his loss. 1t was stated that the
ground on which the grocery stood be-
longs to H. n. Haight, Governor elect.
It is supposed the FIRE originated in o
kitchen attached to the grocery, but in
what way could not be learned.-S. r.
Bulletin, Nursday.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1867-09-14

A LAUaHABLE yarn 10 told about some
conjugal difference which occurred Mt
the South Pewablo mines, Lake Supe-
rior, where a man and his wife had a
severe quarrel, resulting in his packing
his bundle and starting of for Ontona.
gou, declaring that he would live with
her no longer. She followed him along
the road, begging him to return, but he
was memorable, and trudged on. Final
", she became so exasperated that she
vowed that If he did not turn about she
would strip herself stark naked, and in
that condition follow him to his jour
uey's end. As he did not stop, she was
as good as her word, and, leaving her
clothing by the roadside, she followed
him in that cool, fascinating costume of
nature. This only made him laugh.
When they came to the intersection Of
the State road, they were surprised by
meeting a party Of young men who had
been out fishing, and then the husband
began to think the wife's costume was
not exactly the kind prescribed by court
etiquette, aud, cutting a stout switch,
he started her back on o keen run, not
allowing her to stop and gather up her
clothes. Our informant says she made
splendid time in going from the clearing
to the house; probably because she was
not inconvenienced by extra clothing.
Since then both parties. have indefinitely
postponed their trip to Ontonagon.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1867-09-14

A VOICE FROM THE GRAvr.-While
Senator Douglas aud the late President
Lincoln were holding their great discus
sion before the people Of ~Illinoisin 1858,
the martyred President was pressed rs
to whether he was in favor of negro suf-
frage and negro equality. Mr.. Lincoln
answered: 81 am not, and never have
been in favor Of making voters or jurors
of negroes, nor Of qualifying them to
hold Office, nor TO iutermarry with white
people /; and | will say in addition to
this, that there is \ physical difference,
between the white and black races,
which I believe will forever prohibit the
two races from living on terms Of social
and political equality. And inasmuch
as they cannot so live, while.they do re-
main together there must be the posi-
ton of superior and inferior, and |, as
much As any other man, am in favor Of
having the superior position assigned to
the white race" The negro is inferior to
the white man, and is in favor Of having
the white man assert his superiority |!
Radicals who are very ardent. in their
support Of negro suffrage, and who are,
At the same time, great admirers of Mr..
Lincoln, had better cut this article out
and paste it up 10 their hats, so that 1t
may be Of easy reference. 1t is a voice
from the dead appealing to their COM
mon sense and self-respect.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1867-09-14

Tt. Sacramento papers say that COM
plants are inpumerable, that some Of
the hotel keepers Of the city are chsrg-
ing sItortionste prices for lodgings dur
ing the Fair. At the same time, though
they threatened to do so, the papers do
not publish any names. They wait to
hear Of more cases Of extortion, after
they declare they have heard of iuuu-
merable cases, already. We suspect
they are saving their credit with both
visitors and hotel keepers. The plum
dersd parties will have to depend upon
the interior press, Tor the fear inspired
BY it, for the proper exposure. Sacra-
msnto is q place Of impositions any way.
It is probable, however, that the Bee
will announce some Of the robbers
names. We have not received that pa
per for yesterday.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1867-09-14

LIFTING THE CAT 0UT.-Since the
election the Cops, who, for six years
past have secreted their thoughts, wish
es and desires, are letting the !" cat out
Of the bag" by declaring that their
greatest desire is to vote for JEFF. DAVIS
for next President. We learn that one
Guy Smith, residing at Buckeye Hill,
Nevada county, says JEFF. Davis is his
brother, and that he Guy will vote for
JEFF. for next President. Well, we are
glad to hear these Copperheads talk as
they do. Such talk has a tendency
Of opening the eyes Of Union men to
the true condition Of affairs, and Of what
they have TO expect if these Copper
heads get into power. Guy Smith amt
alone in his desires to vote for JEFF.
Davis for next President. All the lead
srs of the Copperhead party in this
county feel just as Guy Smith does, but
they are q little more polite than Guy,
and therefore keep their feelings to
themselves. They think the time has
not yet arrived to "let the cat out Of the
bag" altogether.-Aary,riHe appeal.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1867-09-14

LIKE BraErs LIkE.-our city was en-
livened a short. time since by little
c~owhiding accident, and yesterday even
ing an affair Of a similar, but rather
o. serious nature occurred. This
time il was q Ease of marital infslicity,
to say the least, and the chastisement
was given in punishment Of alleged, and
if reports DO true, tolerably well anthem
ticated in6delity. The offended lady
having endured as she thinks o than
any wife should endure, procured a
cowhide, and searching outher recreant
spouse, laid it about him, as the Latin
has it, ad li6itum. He succeeded in get
ting the whip away, however, when she
substituted q piece Of board, and COM
msnced again. This he resented, and
taking the butt of the whip struck back
so severely as to floor her, when he took
to his heels. She followed, but wheth-
er successfully or not, we cannot say.
The case is a very aggravated one, and
1t Is generally conceded that the hus-
band did not get as much punishment
% hs dsssrved.-Sae. Record.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1867-09-14

THREE DAYS MoRE.-The Directors,
after full consideration Of all the facts,
and in view Of the opinions Of exhibit
ors, and such others interested as could
be consulted, have decided to continue
the State Fair for three days more, or
until Wednesday next. The display is
so excellent and the crowd so great,
that scientific men would not have time
from Tuesday until Saturday to exam
iue with care the novelties presented
nor would exhibitors DO doing justice
to themselves after having gone to the
expense Of placing their wsres in posi-.
ton where they car be seen to greatest
advantage, to withdraw them while the
multitude is anxious to inspect them
Sac, Bee,
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1867-09-14

PASSED THRoUaH.-We learn that. Mr..
Bennett, formerly editor Of a daily paper
in in Virginia, and afterwards financial
editor of the Daily San Francisco Flag,
10 which capacity he received a fatter-
ing letter from Secretary McCulloch for
his able articles on the currency; after
wards assistant editor ofthe Daily Times,
and at present editorin-shief Of the
Mercantile Gazette, passed through town
yesterday on his way to the Yosemite
Falls for the benefit Of his health,
which it is to be hoped he will speedily
regain, that he may resume bis valuable
editorial Administration Gazette.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1867-09-14

Observation-Disclosures are innu-
merabls that some of the ho~tel.ksepsrs
of the city are charging extortionats
prices for lodgings during the Fair.
when visitors are invited to the city,
with the assurance that they a be
comfortably accommodated at reasona-
BILE rates, this course on the part Of the
hotel-keepers is ~ outrage which all
ought to be interested in preventing.
II We hear of other well-authenticated
cases we shall be more specific in stating
psrticulsrs.-Sde. Union.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1867-09-14
Ia, PRrsrprsrIAL RACE CoURsp.

lei fhEntUEsTlAL NAVE OUUHbB.-a
meeting of Republican and Democratic
conservatives at Washington is report
ed, at which it was agreed to push
Andrew johnson and General Sherman
for President aud Vice President. A
good Radical ticket to correspond to
this and Offset It would be Wendell Phil
lips and General Butler. Sheridan is
just now the prominent Radical candi-
date, and his friends pretend to say
that Grant goes for him and has said
that he will not himself be a candidate,
but "lf you want candidate, why don't
you take Sheridan? He is not only n
General, but he is also a statesman"
General Thomas is reported TO be Mr.
Greeley's candidate, though be would
prefer Judge Chase If he did not believe
1t essential to success to take a military
man. Somewhere in the interior Of
Wisconsin q Democratic club has uomi-
mated General Mcclellan for President.
The Cincinnati Enquirer Is for George
h. Pendlston, "ths ablsst Democrat 10
the country" The Chicago Republican
fayors Secretary Stsn.on's nomination.
Miles 0'Rsilly hangs out his banner in
this form:
For President,
ULYSSES o. GRANT,
OF the Apple Tree,
Near Appomattox Court House:
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1867-09-14

DAY before yesterday evening the ve-
hicle in which Theodore Winters was
riding upset near the gatsway.or main
entrance to the Sacramento Park. A
broken pane Of glass in the door Of the
vehicle came in contact with his left
wrist and inflicted a very disagreeable
wound across it, cutting some Of the
tendons but not entirely severing them.
Upon arriving at the Golden Eagle Ho.
tel, Dr.. Morgan attended him and sewed
up the wound. 1t is not really Of a
serious character, but will likely prove
unpleasant and painful for several days.
-Sac. Rec.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1867-09-14

SECRETS OF HEALTH. - First, keep
warm. Second, eat regularly and slow
ly. Third, maintain regular bodily
habits. Fourth, take early and very
light suppers. Fifth, keep a clean skin.
Sixth, get plenty of sleep At night.
Seventh, keep cheerful and respectable
company. Eighth, keep out of debt.
Ninth, don't set your mind on things
you don't need. Tenth, mind your own
business. Eleventh, don't set up to be
a sharp Of any kind. Twelfth, subdue
curiosity. Thirteenth, avoid drugs.
Fourteenth, pay the printer.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1867-09-14

N~EEpLEss IRRITATION. ~ Our testy
evening contemporary, evidently ill at
ease in its false position, since the late
disastrous election, accuses the Attd Of
being BIPARTISAN" whatever that may
mean now. The Bulletin might have
swallowed its chagrin and the we'll
deserved rebuke administered to it with
out turning upon US with e~pithets. In.
its morbid dread Of competition in office
hunting, it seems to fear that every
journal that has any opinions of its own,
which do not conform the Bulletin STAN
dard, is an establishment Of "place-
men," "ofice-seekers," and "hungry
~partisans." We regret that our smart
ing neighbor finds it so difficult to re-
sumo its proper position as a really in
dependent journal, and finds it still ne
cesssary to call hard names. The Bul-
letin and Sacramento Union afford con-
s%picuous examples Of the difficulty Of
retracing steps which have led far into
error and disgrace. As no murderer
ever stood by the body Of his victim
without giving way to vain regrets, so
our contemporaries would fain restore
to life the Union party which they have
thrust under the fifth rib while cruelty
saying, "0h, my brother rs. +. Alta.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1867-09-14

TIE American Journal Of Mining for
August 10th, has a cut representing the
new and successfully tried apparatus for
burning crude petroleum. Boegle has
the number. As we have heard many
Of our mill men speak of this apparatus,
A. one they hoped some day to introduce
under their boilers, we notice the eI-
~plauatory and illustrating Number of
the Journal, and where it may be pur-
chased.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1867-09-14

TEE Sacramento Union has an article
on the importance of taking care OF
the cents" An editorial on the topic
Of Lookout for the Jack" would be
in time, and might be expected to con-
tain many suggestions new and valuable
TO the fraternity.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1867-09-14

RICHMOND is about to have the "Black
Crook" The Examiner solemnly warns
managers that Richmond will put up
with no such nonsense as s'chaste dress
es." This little improvements will do
for the provinces; but the capital will
DO satisfied with nothing less than the
original nudities.