The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1867-06-20
Odds and Ends.
Smile and grow Corpulent.

Smile and grow Corpulent
Punch saws: eve do not believe in spirit
ualism or magic, but the other day veraclou'
witness actually saw young man turn INTO
public house." Transformation extraordinary
The three things most difficult are, to keeI
a secret, (for women particularly TO 1oIge'
an injury, and to make good use OF leisure.
Would YOU touch nettIe without being
stung by it? Take hold of it stoutly: DO
the same to other annOyances and few things
will ever trouble you.
Proud looks lose hearts, but courteous
words win them.
SONG A LA 1IODE~=ANGELINA' LAMENT.
Lonely sits the maiden pining-
Angelina, an, how fair
Through her tears her eyes are shining,
And her soft white hand IS twlnlng
In her glorious golden hair.
Joyously the bells are ringing
Angelina. all, how fairl
Der her head the birds are singing,
Round her early flowers are springing,
Still she sits complaining there.
wherefore stays the faithless rover2''
Angelina, ali, how fair
False perpleXing, teasing lover,
Soon the wedding VIII be over
And, alas shan't be there"
Angelina, Angelina,
Hope not-he wiz never come;
He's imprisoned by by jailOr,
For that naughty, wicked tailor
Hath not sent his his tr-wsrs home.
He who caruot command himself, it is folly to
think to command others.
A distinguished writer says: ga bad hand
writing ought never to be forgiven. 1t IS
shameful Incidence. Indeed, sending bad
" written letter to q fellow creature, is as
impudent an act as ] know Of"
It is much better for a man to conceal his
folly and ignorance, than to discover the
same.
A firm, DESTROYS offinding out the pecuniary
state of q person who wished to purchase
goods, telegraphed for the information. The
answer came back, Note good for any
amount So a large ill Of goods was sold
and shipped The note became due ana went
to protest. The firm found with disgust that
the dispatch shhould have read, Not good for
any amount
To expose one's self to great danger for
trivial advantages, is 10 fish with golden
hook when more may be lost than gained.
Poultices made of stewed pumpkins are said
to be an excellent remedy for inhammatory
rheumatism.
As flowers never put on their best clothes
for Sunday, but wear their spotless raiment
and exhale their Odor every day, so let your
life, free from stain, ever give forth the fra
GRANGE Of the love of God.
A wealthy merchant died; his body dissected
No symptoms Of disease WAS anywhere detected,
Until they reached the heart-which to find they
were unable:
But in the place they found-a compound interest
table.
"Sally," said a green youth, in venerable
white hat and gray pants through which his
legs projected half a foot, "Sally, afore we
go into this ere musuem to see the enchanted
horse, I want to ak We sumpthin."
'Well Ichabod, what is it ?"
''Why ye see, this ere business is goin' to
cost ahull quarter NV a dollar apiece, and
can't afford tn spend so much money for moth
in. Meow efyou'll say you'n have me, darn'd
eff 1 don't pay every cent ont myself-b'- gosh
I willw
Sally made non-committal reply, which
Ichabod interpreted to suit himself, and he
strobe up the steps, two at time, and paid
the whole fare
Oliver Cromwell was a staunch Puritan,
and could not brook the least approach to
eFW6at are these?' he once inquired, as he
saw dozen silver statues in the inches of
chapel.
'"The twelve apostles" replied the trem-
Take them down. said Cromwell, ''and
coin them into money, that they may go about
doing good"
The remembrance of a well spent life is
sweet. SOphocles, on being asked what inju-
ry he would wish to his enemy ,replied-''t that
he might love where he was not loved again"
NO DoRG TO LOVE.
Some DoRG-loving individual who has been
deprived of his fayorite by the arbitrary work
ings of an ordinance similar to one once in
force, for about two days. in this city, gives
vent to his feelings as follows:
No dorg to love- none 10 karess,
How can ever mi sadness ekspress?
Chunck is defunct, dead as a male;
flushed is his bark and still is his tale,
Q. such tale, white on the end,
Opht did he chase it with wiggle and bend;
Chase it with nose twisting around,
Till overcum, he reposed on the ground
Now he's ekstinCt, dead as a male,
Where Is his bark and the Wag OF his tale!
In dreams alone poor Chuuck see,
Swinging his milk or else SCRATCHING flea;
Ills but q dream, waking weap.
For under feet of ground does he sleep,
o bssful pup onst full OF pla,
Haven't fed you day after day
Given you milk and given you bread
Given you many pat on the headg
Now YOU re ekstinct. dead as a male,
Where Is your bark and the wag Of your tale
Reader if you have a fayorite, take warning
and purchase muzzle or chain him up, that
you may be spared such grief.
AN AWFUL DIsEAsE.-We find in one of our
exchanges the following account of new and
terrible disease prevailing in the Eastern
States, which it is thought will soon make its
appearance westward. We therefore give a
description Ofthe malady, and the remedy used:
THE disease is described as follows A sud
den depression of the cOlGpsis dindiX, cav
ing in of the spinality of the back bOnibus, and
n feeling Of slimness in the vicinity of the dia-
phragm, may be regarded as symptoms that
the complaint Is coming on. The following
remedy will afford instant relief: Spirits VIM
Otard, q l.; sugarum whitum, q. s.; icibus
coolus, q. r.; shakiste viUfenter; addum sprig-
GUS mintus duus, and suckit cum strawum. :
we have heard it said that it is worth while
to have the disease for the sake of the rene
dy."
THE ENGLISH CATTLE PLAGUB--When the
latest report of the English cattle plague, May
ODD. was made, it had entered its nlnety-nIntf
week. and during that time had attacked 2Io,
SCI head of cattle. 1t first made Its appear
ance during the week ending on June ~, 1860
and during that week l39 animals were at
tackled. lis ravages increased rapidly untl
it reached its highest point during the weel
ending February %, 1866. In that week II,
S75 animals were attacked, and afterwards IL
fall was as rapid as its rise had been, the week
ly attacks being less than lOO III cePIemoer
1866, and but one during the week ending o.
November 10th, 1866 The weekly attack
now vary from none to seventeen, and tn
country breathes somewhat freely. The act
Of Parliament which suppressed the plBgue
are however, still vigorously carried out, TO
the general belief is that if they are relaxed
will break out again.