Lamoille newsdealer. [volume] (Hyde Park, Vt.) 1860-1877, 1867-10-02
M Mistell Mt.
Married or Single !?
BY cRA9oN BLANC.

aSaJt eAA'St VhV ouVhS Jou hoo thN
moral courage to be on old maid ?
There are different grades and degrees
of valor in this world. ARIA plunged a
dagger in her heart, but then she was
Mrs. Pptus," as all the world knows.
Joan of Arc was brave girl, but she was
years Oh this side of old-maidhood. If
Helen Macgregor hadn't been married to
Rob Roy she never would have been q
heroine and where would Gertrude Won
Der Wart have been if she hadn't bcGh
possessed Of q husband, and that husband
haah't got into trouble with The police
Authorities of his native country ?
In the first place, there is nobody
magnanimous enough to believe an old
maid ever had a chance to be Anything
else, and it is rather hard to be set apart
from ones kind as being destined never
to love OF be loved TAsre-we know per-
teslt wall what YOU are going to say-you
oce3a't take tie .,oabl2 to ~! :, into
words OF course your big brothers vii,
dove vou' e; the rata Of go many new
shirts sn@ 70 much glove mcnding per
annum and your married sisters will be
devoted to you as long as you wash their
babies faces and darn their husbands
socks, and get them new receipts for waf.
fes and sponge. cake; but what does that
sort of thing amount to? Would not it
be cheaper to be the slave of one man
than the humble dependent Of a swarm
of greedy relatives? At all events, a
body can't help wanting to "s6e the folly
of it."
Perhaps that is one way of accounting
for the matrimonial mania that seems to
have taken possession of the world in gen.
eral-for the number of ground hus-
bands" married to "s9uare wives" and
rice oersa-=-atid for the fatally significant
number of wedding rings that have lately
been thrown into the market Perhaps,
we say, and perhaps there are other sola-
tions of the enigma.
Suppose, now, some good fairy would
be ubliging enough to give US real in
sight into the hearts and motives of our
fellow w-erestures, what would the result
be? What would be the real reason that
too many women marry?
Number One has married for home
She got tired of working in a factory, or
teaching school, or making dresses, and
she thought married life was nothing on
earth but moonlight walks, buggy-rides,
new bonnets, and nothing 70 do ! Well,
she has got her homo whether or no she
stirred Of the accompanying membranes
this deponent saith not, inasRuch as this
dcponent doth not positively know.
Number Two married because she had
seven younger sisters, and papa with a
narrow income. Sho consulted the in
terests of her family" Perhaps she
would better have consulted her own in
tcrest by taking in light washing, or going
out by the day to clean.
Number Three married because Mrs
sounded 50 much better than Miss. She
was twenty nine years and eleven months
old, and another month would have trans
muted her into o regular old maid
Think how awful that would have been !
Number Four married because she wan.
ted somebody to pay her bills. Her hus-
bald married for precisely the same rea-
son, 60 they sre both Of them repeating 81
leisure.
Eunbe Five married because Fanny
White mad rica pew husband, aad hs
vaeu's loire to be left behind Pity If
she couldn't get married as vel! 60 tthor
folks ..t.. " 81u
Number Six married because she was
poor, and wanted riches. Poor child she
never counted on all the other things that
were iuseparable from those coveted
riches!
Number Seven married because she
thought she should like to travel But
Mr.. Number Seven changed his mind af-
terwayd, and all the travelling she has done
has been between the we'll and the back
kitchen door ....s-
Number Eight married out Of spite be-
cause her FIRST love had taken unto himself
second love- This little piece ofretali-
alton might have done her good at the
time, but in tho long run, Number Eight
found it did not pay.
Number Nine married because she had
read novels and "wantcd sympathy"
Sympathy 10 fns thing. but it cools
down al rapid rate If the domes'
tic Kettle is not kept boiling, and the do
mcstic turkey is underdone. Novels and
ho,eoteen;no don't run well together in