Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1867-02-28
Odds and Ends.
Never cut what Won can untie.

]
Never cut what you can unite.
The chasm that giddily separates
old qiendship-sarchasm.
A great many Northern soldiers
have been captured by ladies in the
South, and won't be exchanged.
Patrick's Testimony IN the Riot
Case.-Be jabbers, the first man
saw coming at me was two brick
bats.
"Boy, where does this road 90
tor mo where, as 1 knows on
Its always staid here"
Fashionable certainty.-Pride must
have a (water) fall.
Stupid people may eat, but should
not talk Their mouths will do well
enough as banks of deposit, but not
of issue.
A gentleman, walking between
two ladies, stepped On a hogshead
hoop. that few up and struck him in
the face. "Good gracious" said he
(which of you dropped that?''
"How does that look?" said old
Mr.. Smith, holding out his big hand.
"That," said Mrs. Jones, clocks
like you are out of soap"
When man takes more pleasure
in earning money than in spending it
he has taken the first step toward
wealth.
''There are ties which should new
er be severed" as the i'll used wife
said when she found her brute of d
husband hanging to a beam in the
hay loft.
Five women are editors of papers
in Iowa Women have some Of her
writes in that State.
"If it wasn't for hope the heart
would break" as the old lady said
when she buried her seventh hus-
band and looked anxiously among
the funeral crowd for another.
Artemus Ward says: Let US be
happy and live within our means
even if we have TO borrow money to
do it with"
A young man out west was entrust-
ed with money to bring his father
home good family sewing machine.
He carried off neighbours daughter
to Chicago, married her, and brought
her home, declaring she was the best
family sewing machine he could pro-
cure.
The women whom Mercer entieed
to Oregon are said to have found
happy issue out of their troubles
Almost every one of them has found
lodge in the vast wilderness, with
man in it.
''My dear boy" said a young lady
to a precious youth Of eighteen,
''does your father design that you
should tread the thorny and intricate
path of profession, the strait and
narrow way of the ministry, or revel
in the fowry fields of literature?"-
'No, marin; dad says he's gwine to
set me to werk in the tater patch.
A Philadelphia lawyer gives the
following definition of law and
equity: SAT common law you are
done for at once; at equity you are
not so easily disposed OF. One is
prussic acid. and the other is laud-
anum."
A young and pretty girl stepping
into linen -drapers shop, where a
spruce young man, who had long
been enamored OF her, but dared not
speak, stood behind the counter
II order to remain as long as posi-
ole, she cheapened everything. At
last she said, L believe you think l
am cheating you 'Oh, no, said the
young man, to me you are always
fair WELL whispered the lady,
blushing as she laid an emphasis on
the word, Il would not stay sn long
bargaining, if you were not so dear
An orator appealing to the ''bone
and sinew," said: ''My friends I am
proud to see around nae the hardy
yeomanry of the land, for / love the
agricultural interests of my country;
and well may love them, fellow
citizens, fer I was born a farmer; the
happiest days of my youth were
spent in the peaceful avocation Of a
son of the soil. In fact, to speak
iguratively, 1 may say was born
between two rows of cornr' "a
pumpkin. by thunderF' exclaimed
an inebriate chap in front of the
stage.
From BLLNGs.-Den't swop with
your relashens unless you kin afford
to give them the big end of the trade.
Marry young, and iii circumstances
require it) often If you cant get
good cloths and education too, git
the clothes. Say SLOW are you?" to
every person. Kultiyate medesty,
but keep good stock Of impudenee
on hand. Be haritable-three-p pen
ny cent pieces were made on Pur-
pose. Itcosts more to borrow than
to buy. IF man fatters you, you
can kalkelate he is rogue, or you
are a fule. Keep both ize open bat
don't see more'n halt you notice.