The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1867-04-02
THE OAUDLE OURTAIN LECEUREs.
Mrs. CaudIe "Wishes to Know II
They're Going TO the Seaside, or Not,
this summer.--That,s All

Mrs. Candle "Wishes to Know II
They're Going TO the Seaside, or Not,
this summer---That's ALL
"Hot? yes, it is hot. I'm sure one
might as well be in an oven as in town
this weather. You seem to forget it's
July, Mr.. Caudle. I've been waiting
| quietly-have never spoken; vet not a
word have you said of the seaside vet
| Not that l care for it myself-oh, no:
my health isn't of the slightest conse-
quence. And, indeed, was going to
say-but won't-that the sooner, per-
haps, I'm out of this world the better.
Oh, yes; / dare say you think sO--oi
course you do, else you wouldn't lie
there saying nothing. You're enough
to aggravate saint, Caudle; but you
shan't vex me. No; I've made up my
mind, and never intend to let tyou vex
me again. Why should / worry my
self
"Bnt all want TO ask you is this: Do
you intend to go to the seaside this
summer? Yes? YOIt'H go to GrGVeSends
Then you'll go alone, that's all L know.
Gravesend! You might as well empty
a salt-celler in the New River, and call
6tLsineSs3 There you are againI can
never speak of taking little enjoy
ment but you fling business in my
teeth. Pm sure you never let business
stand in the way of your own pleasure,
Mr.. Caudle-not you. 1t would be all
the better for your family if you did.
"Yon know that Matilda wants sea-
| bathing; you know it, or you ought to
know IL, by the looks of the child; and
| yeti know you, Caudle-you'd have
| let the summer pass over and never
said word about the matter. What
do you say? Margnte'S so ezpenSiUey
! Not at all. I'm sure it will be cheaper
for us in the end; for if we don't go we
shall be all ill-every one of us-in the
| winter. Not that my health is of any
consequence; 1 know that, well enough.
It never was, yet. You know Mar
gates the only place can eat a break
fast at, and yet you think of GraYes-
endl But what's my eating to you?
You wouldn't care If never eat at all.
You never watch my appetite like any
other husband; otherwise you'd have
seen what it's come to.
"What do you say? HoiD much iDiLL
! II cOSt$ There you are, Mr.. Caudle,
with your meanness again. When you
want to go yourself to Blackwell or to
Greenwich, you never ask how much
will 1t cost? What? You neUer go TO
BLdckUelLs Ha! I don't know that;
and if you don't that's nothing at all to
do with it. Yes, you can give a guinea a
sir; I'm not a foolish woman;
and know very well what
Pm talking about-nobody better. A
guinea plate for whitehall for your
self, when you grudge pint of shrimp
for your poor family. Eh? You don't
well for you to lie there and say so.
| What iOiU IL COST It's no matter what
It will cost, for we won't go at all now.
No; We'll stay at home. We shall all
be ill in the winter-every one of us,
all but you; and nothing ever makes
I / M Kua oh oil hsa
laid up, and there'll be DOCTORS bill
| as long as railroad; but never mind
| that. It's better-much better to pay
for nasty physic than for fresh air and
wholesome salt water, Don't call me
woman and ask what il will COST
tell you, If you were to lay the money
down before me, on that quilt, 1
wouldn't go now-certainly not. It's
better we should be sick; yes, then
you'll be pleased.
"That's right, Mr.. Caudle; go to sleep.
It's like your unfeeling self Pm talk
ing of our all being laid up; and you,
like any stone, turn round and begin to
| go to sleep. Well, think that's pref
/ ty INSULT Hot0 can you sleep t1ith such
a splinter in your tieSh3 / suppose you
mean to call me the splinter?-and
after the wife I've been to you! But
no, Mr.. Caudle, you may call me what
you please; you'll not make me cry
now. No, no; don't throw away my
tears upon any such person now.
What? Don't? Ha! that'syour ingrat-
itude! But none of you men deserve
that any woman should love you. My
poor hearth
Everybody else can go out of town
except us. Ha! If I'd only married
Simmons. Whati Why didn't II Yes,
that's all the thanks / get. Who's Sum
ntonSS oh, you know very well who
Simmons is. He'd have treated me a
little better, think. He IDds a
gentleman. You can't teU3 May be
not; but can. With such weather as
this, to stay melting in London; and
when the painters are coming inl You
won't hare the painters in? But you
must; and If they once come in Pm de-
termined that none of us shall stir
| then. Painting in July, with family
/ in the house! We shall all be poison
ed, of course; but what do you care for
that?
"Why can't I tell you lOhGt II sOiU COST
How can or any woman tell exactly
and at Margate, too-are little
dearer than living at your own house.
Poohg You kHoU htut3 Well, If you
did, Mr.. Caudle, I suppose there's no
reason in naming 1t. Stin, If you take
'em for two months, they're cheaper
than for one. No, Mr.. Caudle, shall
not be quite tired of it in one month.
No; and it isn't true that no sooner
get out than want to get home again.
To be sure, i was tired of Margate three
years ago, when you used to leave me
TO walk about the beach by myself, to
be stared at through all sorts of tele-
scopes. But you don't do that again,
| Mr.. Caudle, / can tell you.
What IDiU I do at AIdTgdteF Why,
isn't there bathing, and picking mp
shells, and ar'nt there packets with the
donkeys; and the last new novel,
Whatever 1t is, to read?-for the only
place where really relish book is at
with my reading, Mr.. Caudlel 1 sup
pose you call that a joker You might
keep your Jokes for the daytime, I
think. But as 1 was saying-only you
always will interrupt me-the ocean al
ways seems to me to-open the mind.
see nothing to laugh at; but you al
ways laugh when Isay anything. Some
times at the seaside-speciallY when
the tides DOWN. feel so happy; quite
as if could cry.
"When shall get the things ready {?
For next Sunday? What t0iu Il cost >
1 shall send for the painters Tomorrow.
| What7 7 can 90 and take the children,
and yot'u stGyf No, sir; you go with
me, or don't stir. Pm not going to be
turned loose like hen with her chick
ensF and nobody-to-p -proteet-me.-So
/ What tDiEt Il costs What man Won
are Why, Candle, I've been reckoning
that, with bun slippers and all, we can't
well It under seventy pounds. No !:
won't take away the slippers, and say
| fifty; it's seventy pounds, and no less.
| OF course, what's over will be SO much
saved. Caudle, what man you are
| Well, shall we go on Monday3 What
4 do you say p YoIG'u sees There's a
I fNn