Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1867-07-10

'fited States forbade this, and now Mexico has
practically, no Government. The lcgica
d deduction from this conduct is that our Gov
y eminent is bound to give Mexico protection
against anarchy and ruin,
--<-o-
Humorous Gatherings.
E psabbreviation, not found in books
! is tosbe tound on tombstone in Dunkirk
The emourners intended to put all old aunt tc
sleep, with the customary phrase, "let hel
rest IN peace" but the space on the stone gave
out at the close Of the word her. The ready
/ wittsd sculptor, however, inserted the initials
and now the dear old lady sleeps beneath
the hconic, but inelegantsepitaph, "Let her
ripffs
o. What are you doing there Jane 2?
"Wtty, pa, I'm going to dye dolls dress red y
Z" But what have you got TO dyeit with 2'
Beer" Who on earth told you that beer
would. dye ii,red2"- "Why, ma said it was
becrsthat made yous nose look SO red, and
! thought" Here, Susan, take this child"
t. A lady asked gentleman the other
day why SO many tall gentlemen were bache.
lors? The reply was that they were obliged
to lie crosswise in bed to keep their feet in,
and that wife would be in the way.
/ g9 A schoolmaster in one of the neigh
boring towns, while on his morning walk
passed by the door of a neighbo~ who was
excavatng log for a,pig trough. "Why,"
said The schooimaster. @Mr. = have you
not furniture yet?" Yes" said the man,
enough for my own family, but expect to
board the schoolmaster this winter, and am
making preparations"
IL George, do you remember the story
4 Of David and Goliah?n
5"Yes, sir; David was tavern-keeper and
Goliah vas an Incorporate man."
ss"WEo told YOU that?n
70 Moody; read it, and it said that David
fixea a sling for Goliah and Goliah got Slowed
Whit =
L. A savan connected with the Garden
Of Plants in Paris has carried three billiard
balls constantly in his bosom for the past
seven months wrapped up in flannel waist
coat srpposing that they were crocodile eggs,
and thit they would hatch by the process.
E A coored clergyman, in a prayer
meeting in Virginia, while engaged in suppl
cation few weeks since, after praying for tue
divine blessing upon the Governor of that
State. md all others in authority there, con-
tinued: "And D Lord-O Lord-O Lord, il
it willnot exhaust thy compassion, have mer.
cy up,n Andrew Johnson"
IL We never heard of but one old wo-
man Who " kissed cow but we've seen ma
py.a lretty girl kiss good sized calf
be- A mans wife in South Bend, Ohio
| presented her husband with very fine boy.
Nexsmorning the man stepped into the May.
cr's dice aud stated that the night previous,
feliw Gang skuking into his house stark
make: that he MAS. there yet. Three police
menbt once started on the. run to .oust the
intraaer. Wren nrheyg6t 70 the. house, they
ask,d 10 see the fellow ihat had come in there
theuight before. They brought out tie baby.
Thepoliccmen suddenly disappeared, and 1t
is Supposed have had to stand 4 good many
eXtn treats since.
f@ TOO Coon TO DE Lcs1.-The United
Stucs Internal Revenue Detectives ere here
from Washington, on tour Of Investigation
Thy have had good many of our l'quor
mCl before them, examining into their affairs
ami amcng them Our friend Captain Morris
HLb,on, of The steamer "NrIle Jenkins"
Ole Of the principal 4 lciives asked Capt
lilbson il he had not been bringing good
nny barrels marked "wliskcy" to Rich
nicnd On his boat.
The Captain re Piled by asking fhe officers
if the fact ofthe barrels being marked "whis
ke,' necessarily made Ihe.contents whiSkey
10 which he replied, Mpstassurcdiy sir"
Then remarked Captain Hobson, Well,
nos, Mr.. Officer, answer Inc ere thing: Ii l
w:re 10 take, piece of chalk and mark on
yhr back, I'D jack-ass,' would that
make you one?'
The officer in question was sold, aid tho
rest Of the cro~d etjcycd his discontinue
hugely The Captain was discharged with
out further qnestien.-Richmond Examiner.
p~ A darkey preacher was telling how
Aeam was the first man created, and ser up
against the fence to dry. An older brother,
who sometimes had lucid ideas, interrupted
hin and said, "li dat is true, who made de
iilce2" Pass round de sasser.
@A A LITTLE More CIDER.-A yoaug
lacy anu Good Ttmplar in California
town entered into lively discussion in the
lodgo Of which she was member, on the
subject Of cider drinking. She was very fond
of sScet cider, and on no account. coeld she
be pursuaded to shun it, Addressing an anti
cider dri:.ker, she said Il love cider; it is a
necessity with me: must have i'll viii
have it. If this lodge decides wa must not
drink it, shall ct apples and then get some
good locking fellow to squeeze me-for
tell you can't live without cider"