Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1867-09-05
Odds and Ends.

Mrs. Partington wants to know
what sort of drums co-nun- drums
are. She thinks they are somewhat
hard to beat
Why does an angry man resemble
lady in full dress? Because he is
very much ruffled.
An Arkansas colonel had the fol-
lowing order for mounting his men:
First order--Prepare fer tu git
onto yer creetur!
Second order-Git!
REAL EsTATE.-An assessor found
some people so dirty last spring that
he felt warranted in recording them
as real estate.
Some wives are said to be so jeal-
GUS that they don't like their spouses
to embrace fair opportunity.
"Jinhs, I'm going to raise your
rent" said landlord to his tenant.
"Fhank you,' said Jinks, '.for I'm
blessed ii l can raise it myself"
An Eastern editor is delighted at
having nearly been called ''honey"
by the gal he loves, because she sa-
Iuted him at their last meeting as
"Old Beeswax.
A moral debating society out West
is engaged in discussion on the fol-
lowing question: ''If man deserts
his wife, which is the most aban-
doned, the man or the woman9"
A little girl, four years old, was
recently called as witness in po-
lice court, and in answer to the ques-
ton as to what became of little girls
who tell falsehoods, she innocently
replied ''that they were sent to bed"
Why is newspaper like an army?
Because it has leaders, columns and
reviews.
horticultural HINTS FOR EVERY
BODY AND ALwAYs.-Cultivate ac-
qualntance, if desirable; if not, cut
them.
Never SOW the seeds of dissension.
Weed your library.
Get as much hearts ease as you
can.
Attend to wallfowers, and trim
coxcombs.
Emulate the cucumber-be cool.
Don't peach.
void doworc of cnooob
Bedding out" is good for plants,
but not for friends.
Take the advice of the sage, or
you may rue the consequence.
The other day Mr.. c. treated
his son, wide awake little fellow of
four summers, to a sleigh-ride. The
horse slipping, came down upon his
launches, at which the youngster re-
marked imperiously:
81 don't like to have the horse sit
down to rest, pa.
A laundering or wilful compositor
md proof-reader on the Denver
Iowa) Gazette recently caused the
ourral to appear with the following
dispatch: "The Committee of Ways
md Means have decided to put Chase
Ind Butler on the free list" It
should have read Cheese and Butter.
A friend of ours lives next door to
/ not over thriving undertaken. One
lay our friends youngest son rush
I'd into the parlor in a state of wild
exclaiming: "Oh, father,
somebody is dead for sure, because
he undertaker's children are eating
;andyr'
War and matrimony are both
in contemplation--until they
Ire tried.
Many curious incidents of the
,ultan's visit to London are related.
Among other stories is one to the
fleet. that part of the Sultan's suite
vas accustomed to go about Buck
noham Palace in the morning so
iGhtly attired that the maid servants
,ttached to the household had to be
warned of. At length, after some
# these decollete gentlemen had been
deserved from the Palace Hotel op-
'osite, gentle hint was given to
lem, to the effect that in England
hey were not accustomed to such
lyle of attire--she climate not be-
ng that Of the garden of Eden.
ILLUSTRATED with cutsl" said
nischievous young urchin, as he drew
lis knife across the leaves OF ms
sIllustrated with cutsl~
epeated the schoolmaster, as ne
lrew his rattan across the BACK Oh
he mischievous urchin.