Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1867-11-14
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.


have tears to shed, prepare to shed
them now"
"Welcome, little stranger" as the
man said when he found three-cent
piece among his postage stamps.
Why are young ladies generally bad
grammarians Because few Of them
are able to decline matrimony.
1t is understood now, that the Rad
ical party have given up the idea of
running a negro for Vice President.
Why is elliott accountable for much
dishonesty Because he makes peo-
pie steel pens, and says they do write.
A Western man says he always re-
spects old age except when some one
sticks him with pair of tough chick
ems.
A cotemporary complains that we
"strike below the belt" Have we
given him the belly-aehe ?-LOuiSuilie
Journal.
A lady fixed the following letters in
the bottom of -four barrel and asked
her husband to read them if he could
OICU RMT.
A Wheeling M. D. advertises a
French medicine, one bottle of which
will enable person to talk French in
three weeks.
When young men begin TO sing "We
won't 60 home till morning" they
are in fair way not TO get there
much before that time.
A man. advertises a new patent
stove which saves three-quarters of
the Goals while the ashes 1t makes
pays for the other quarter.
Excuse me, madam, but would
like to ask why you look at me so
savagely 7" "Oh beg pardon, sir I;
/ took you for my husband"
Judge Chase has returned from Ohio
TO Washington. His visit TO his old
State wasn't pleasant one-owing,
however, to circumstance over which
he had no control"
The bank of Pettis & Ingalls,, at
Fremont, Tazewell county, Ill.,, was
broken into on Thursday night, and
robbed of 100000 in money and
bonds. The burglars are still at large.
We are shocked to hear of such
bloody battles between the Blackieet
and Bigbellies. 1t threatens to be-
come as bad conflict as the scalping
contest which RACES between I. W.
and II. G.
Human natur IL got up in sich
way that we wood run the risk Nv
breaking our neck tu see what our
naybour owes, while the Sheriff IL
postin bills for the sale Nv our own
property.
A witness spoke of particular per-
son as having seen him "partially
clad" "Was he not quite nude p
asked the examining counsel. "No,"
replied the witness, "he wore a pair
Of spectacles"
The horse which Col. Thomas Ben
ton rode through the whole of the
Mexican war, lately died at New Lon
don, Ct, aged thirty.six. He was
formerly owned by Joseph Bonaparte,
and at his death by Sidney Miner.
The Radicals have been saying all
along that the President was the aim
pediment" to reconstruction. The
people, however, have decided that
the Radical party is the "impediment,"
and intend to remove il.
Soliloquy Of a tax payer who con-
tributed largely to sustain the untaxed
bondholder:
Alas and shall we ever live
Az this poor dying rate,
Our local interest 80 small
And Governments 50 grsati
DIR. Mudd, who is a prisoner in the
Dry Tortugas, faithfully attended the
sick in the yellow fever epidemic there,
all the other surgeons being prostra-
ted. lie didn't lose a case, and in
consideration of his services, efforts
are being made to obtain pardon for
him.
A iittle boy some six years old was
using his slate and pencil on a Sun.
day, when his father, who was min.
lister, entered and said:
sMy son, prefer that you should
not use your slate on the Lords day"
81 am drawin' meetin' houses, faith
er," was the prompt reply.
INvENToRs.-The Bellefonte (PaO
editors are inventors as we'll as writer's.
Mr.. Meek, of the Democratic Watch
nan, has lately invented a patent gal.
ley, for the use of printers, which
promises TO be useful and labor
saving article. Ii does away entirely
with the quoins and sde-stick. and
the galley can be set in any position
without danger OF "piing" the matter.
Ar. Meek has applied for a patent,
which we have no doubt he will re-
ceive. His Invention has been tested
in the Press Office in Philadelphia, and
pronounced success
Mr.. Kurtz, of the Central Press. in
Bellefonte, has also invented a new
galley, on a somewhat different prin-
.sciple, and will take out a patent. 1t
locks by means of screw at the end
and, when locked up, the type can be
turned upside down or placed in any
position with inpunity. 1t is also a
convenient and useful invention, and
is the consequence Of suggestion
taken from Mr.. Meek's idea. Which
of these two galleys will obtain the
preference among printers will be
seen in the future. They are both
much needed and useful improve
ments. We trust the inventors will