Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1867-09-28
a car rAdyenture.

There were five of us-yes, five as happy
fellows as ever were let loose from college.
1t was vacation" and we concluded to
take trip to the falls. We got aboard the
cars at M sandsWere1 soon travelling very
rapidly towards our destination. We had
Just seated ourselves and prepared for
comfortable smoke, whenin came the con-
ductor, and who could it be but our old
friend, Fred f.. After the common saluta-
=tiens had passed, Fred said he had busiucss-
for us to attend to.
s'Out with it, old chum," said we. ''any-
thing atall will be acceptable, so let us have
there is as loving pair as it was ever my
lot to see. They are going down to III. to
get married; and now if you can have any
fun over it, Just pitch in.' 'i ..,- t-,f.ff-..
In moment he was gone, and we set our
heads together to form plan. '''' '-
81 have it, boys" said Bill Stevers. i"We
must make the girl think that her lover is
marriedn--Ii f5ae s..- t3 t-...rt f........
n That's it,Bill, that's it, said we, not Civ
ing him time to finish the sentence. u .
HThat he is a married man, and the faith
er of children," said Bill. q b5ra5Igf sa5I
1t devolyed npon me to commence opera
tions. Accordingly l entered the car in
which we were informed the lovers were.
Sure enough, there they were. The girl,
II
lover all the seat, had taken seat on his
knee, and he, for the purpose of protecting
her, had thrown his arm around her waist;
and so they sat in real soft lovers style
All this i gathered at a glance. Stepping
up to them, said: .f. .-..-r- ,.,. .--.....
b1."Why, Jones, what in the deuce are you
doing with this girl ?'' '~f' % aHi3fr1
The girl rose hastily and seated herself
"See here, stranger" said the fellow,
''you are a mite mistaken; my name amt
Jones'" -i9r''' in ,1ft -ii . n1H5
i "Why, JONES'" said l., ''you certainly
haven't left your wife and children, and
tried to palm yourself off for single man,
have you ?" -
81 tell you my name amt Jones; it's
Harper. 1t never was Jones-'tain,t go
ing to be, nuther." 4-.t.-,.5- f.-..,...-..t
I merely shook my head and passed on
to another seat to see the rest of the fun.
About the time the couple got feeling all
right again. in came Elliott Gregg. Walk
ing up to Harper, he accosted him with:
sWhy, Jones, you here? How did you
leave your wife and babies ?" '-. l-H
ssNow, see here, stranger, you amt the
fust man that's called me Jones to-day, an
1 reckon must look awfully like him; but
amt Jones, an, more'n that, you mustn't
call me Jones. l haint got wife nor ba-
] bies either; but this 'ere gal an me is GO
| ing to splice, and then you can talk about
nv wife, and 1 wouldn't wonder but what,
in course of time, you might talk about
babies, too; but you mustn't call me
Jonesr
"This retort brought forth vociferous
laughter from the spectators, and it also
brought bushes to the face of the girl that
"was going to be spliced."
"Ah, JONES'" said Gregg, you'll regret
this in the future. | pity your wife and
this poor girl" ... DIS ff.. .l-5re
$50, Mr.. Harper, your real name Is Jones,
| is it? and you've been fooling me, have
you? Well, we amt spliced yet, and 1
| don't think we shall be, very soon," said
the girl, and her eyes flashed fire. .l.
"Jane, Janep' said Harper, "don't you
know I am Bill Harper? Thar amt a
darned drop OF Jones blood in me, an Pll
prove it." f s-. III
vers and Jim Byers entered, and of course
| their attention was called to Harper by his
loud talking. They stepped up to him, and
said :: ..rfk ..H. i-s...
1ssWhy Jones, what is all this fuss about?'
This was more than Harper could stand.
He leaped upon seat.
d snow" said he, 'my name is not Jones,
and 1 can lick the fellow that says it is"
/ By this time we had got to H., and our
| friend Fred came into the car and got Har-
per to keep quiet. The girl that wouldn't
be 'sspliced" requested Fred to help her on
the train that was going back to S., which
| he did, and the notorious Jones, alias Har-
per, followed her. We learned afterwards
that he proved himself to be Bill Harper
| instead Of Bill Jones, and he and his gal
Jane got "splieed.o E ..-.. ..T -