The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1867-04-04

| 49," ~ -f ~
A doctor who has been trying to es-
| tablish practice in d village out West
says 1t is 50 detestably healthy there that
| they had to murder a man IN order to
start a graveyard.
-t's1Iy dear young lady" exclaimed
a gentleman. II am astonished at your
sentiments You actually make me start
ON my word you do . well, SIR
replied the damsel, Il We been wanting
you to start for the last half hour.
A young dead head the other day ask
ed the doorkeeper Of the Panorama
of Bunyan's Pilgrims progress" If BUR
yam was in. The doorkeeper would not
Ter hinn pass as he could not find his
name on the free list. .-ss5
''Why do you not admire my daugh-
ter asked proud mother of gentIc
ude of p raia1nss s ff But, surely iD re re
Piled the lady, not in the least discon-
certed by this rude reflection, . you ne
yer saw an angel that was not painted
A lady went, the other day. into dry
goods tore, and while examining some
az icles another Ii " el red in 81 arch of
tdon' blush ladies' some uadcess nausia
Not wishing to use his simple term, with
several indistinctiy audible and dinlinu-
tive hens, she said to the attentive clerk
Have you any ntasijh ttat is ut ap IN
tie al0rRiay?.' HG.
A man had received lot of Holsters,
fresh ard lively, when a boy stood look
Ing at the critters, accompanied by his
dog. Suppose You put your dogs tail
between the holsters 5 clt,ws?' said the
man. agreed said the boy. The peg
was extracted from the claws, and the
| dogs tail inserted. Away went the dog
| of home, bowling at the squeeze lbs tail
got from the lobster FWhistle your
| dog back You young scamp" said the
man. Whistle your lobster back
cried the boy and absquatulated. The
! boy made 4 lobster supper that night.
He WHO sets upa carriage at the sug-
] gestlon OF his vanity, generally sets It
| down at the suggestion OF his creditors
Some men have no right to perform
| great deeds or think high, thoughts; and
when they do so it is a kind OF humbug
They had better keep within their own
proprlety.
Nature sometimes displ avs little ten.
| derness for our vanity, but is never care
full for our pride. Snc Is wiling mat we
should look foolish iii the eyes OF others,
bus keeps our little nonst nsicalne
from ourselves 6
A Erenchman one day made his APP
pearance at lawyers office and told a
clerk in waiting that he wanted to look at
a shall "a shall; oh, a viii you mean.
Eth. bien, it is all the same a will or a
shall " be-
John Newton once said THE art of
spreading rumors may be compared to
the art OF pin making. There is usually
some truth, which cali the wire sthis
passes from hand to hand one gives it
polish, another a point, others make and
on the head, and at last the pin is com
pleted.. @St
\ servant, newly engaged, presented
20 his master, one morning, a pair of
boots, the leg of one of which was much
longer than the other. How comes it
that these boots are not of the same
length p 4 really don't know, sir;
but what botherS me the most is, that the
pair down stairs Is in the same fix -
Mr.. Samuel Morley Is adopting an ex-
{ tensiye system OF pensions in his manu-
factory at Nottingham England To a
large number Of aged framework knitters
who are past work he has promised seven
shl!hngs and SlX-p pence per week until
their death to others who were better
, circunistanced he made dol;ation of five
, pounds. ----
One of the most touching instances of
fidelity Of which we have ever read, and
one which has lesson for human be,n rs
: Is said to-have occurred on the Seine at
t Paris: A young man who wanted to
drown his dog took him in boat and
threw him overheard. While pushing
r the animal from the boat with his oar he
/ fell overheard, and would have drowned
had not his dog held him up till assist
. ance came and rescued him.
A Rochester urchin unconsciously per-
: petrate1 great joke. at the expense of
: his teacher the other day The lady was
, announcing to her pupils the. holiday,