Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1867-02-19
AHSOELLANEOUS.
Opera House Dutohmain and his Ticket.


In Chicago d&eIls -teutonic yender of la
ger beer and pretzels, Brockmeyer by name,
genial in disposition, immense of stomach,
carefulof money by nature, unsuspecting at
heart, but yet liable to severe excitement at
times When the Opera House drawing
came off he remained firm at his post of dan
ger and gracefully handed out glasses of his
amber colored beverage, two glasses for ten
cents. Persons came and went Passers by I
troubled with thirst saw in his beer much to
admire and rushed in where angels feared to,
tread, drew their wallets, left their stamps,
slaked- their thirst and hurried on, while
Brockmeyers till grew rich in postal.
"A man passed that way who was poor
He was a newspaper man, we reckon. He
was dry, but had not the keynote to lager in
his pocket He thirsted for beverage-he
rushed III ike one from Bull Run battle
fields and gasped-
"Tou drew it; you drew it the Opera
house is yours! You are the lucky Dutch.
man.. The crowd at the Opera house is cheer
ing for you!'
''Mein gott in Himmel; dss is so; take
some lager peer" and the excited teuton
drew pitcher full, showed it to the face Of
the novelist, shouted 'sMien Colt; mien
Colt; I've drawcd der Opera Ouse; drinks
all der lager peer in dis blaze for 1 moves
deere right away;" jumped over chair,
knocked coal stove endwise and minus hat
or coat rushed to the Opera House.
The man qUenched bis thirst from the
pitcher; the crowd outside seeing the teuton
running like mad, thought murder most foul
had been committed; rushed in, learned the
news, shouted to Others, the seller of the
Dutchman stood behind the bar and with
liberal hand dispensed beer, pretzels, bo-
lognas, cigars, ETC., and dispensed with the
Sfa L.
large he was tired out when he left, and
others helped the new corners at the expense
of the man who had drawn the Opera house
But soon Linden saw another sight-his
lager rolling rapidly! With howl, a yell,
abound and club there burst in upon the
crowd, poor Brockmeyer. And this was his
cause of complaint
"Mine Colt! Colt tam! Clear out you
umbugs! Out. Nixcum arouse out of das
] preak mine head over de stick of dat tam
Yankee vot makes me dat lie und lose nv
lager peer! Rouse NIT i'm I no draw OPP
j. era ouse. no draw notink. Oh. you tam
rascal! who preaks mine head with his stick
who make told me dat tam umbug-rouse
init all Of you. l no draw opera ouse-I no
q raw rotink-I no have lucky ticket-by
Ram have no ticket for notink, and by tam
L preak my head nit de stomach of dat Yam
kee umbug vot dells me das tam lie? Rouse
init you"'
And with his club he soon cleared the pre-
misses, to find nary cigar, nor a bologna,
nor pretzell, nor drop of lager, nor a lucky
ticket. Then he locked the doors, and went
talking to himself, fixing up things, shaking
up empty kegs and bottles, looking into draw
ers and boxes to find but vanity and cmpti-
ness Those who saw him say that he look
cd sick, disconsolate, as he had occasion to
damn those who had been there since he had
been gone Late in the day he was sitting
outside his saloon, the door locked, looking
for the man who made umbug, and telling
those who stopped to condole with him-''Yes,
by tam, dis Che-cago is ter tyfl. Dey draw
me no opera ouse, but dey draw my lager
peer as cost me more as two hundred tollars
Dey eats mine cigars, dey schmoke my pref
zels, und if dat tam rascal vot makes me dat
story goomes dis way, thinks be SO sick NIT
mad do notink, b. tam"