davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1867-06-06
NO. IL.
An Original Income Return.

The following is a copy of a return for-
warded to an Assistant Assessor in the
1th u. S. Internal Revenue District of
Massachuctts
Dear Sir In acknowledging the
receipt OF the blanks which you were so
KIND as to leave at my residence, have
to say that, however much | may regret
the Tact, 1T is nevertheless true. that my
financial standing does not, and from all
appearances will not, allow me to assist
in lubricating the wheels of the Governs
ment. | cannot refrain, however, FROM
filing the blanks as requested.
81 have some little property, and al
though not enumerated in the printed
sheet, will you allow me, if for nothing
else than my own qualification, to place
them IN my assets:
"One little bay mare named e."
(sound and kind in all harness, stands
without tying, and eats anything aud of
but little value
"a buggy, not yet paid for, though
good for several years. 1t is now repair
ing)
81 have also dog, five cats, and two
piSSj duu IHC SCAGS VI IuC lIller are
ly represented.
Judging from the past, 1 am free to-
say, that if | keep the pigs through the
summer, L shall be obliged to call upon
the United States to assist me. | do not
know how in the world I do get along,
and am happy only when 1 know that
rich man cannot enter the kingdom of
Heaven.
My clothes are all second hand, and
my boots are about gone. No tailor has
made me a suit for years; and since the.
publishing of Income Returns was COM
menced, my credit has been sadly shak-
en-. But, being poor, yet hope and
strive, and work, and wish, and, better
than all, [ am happy. Find the man who
pays his twenty thousand income, then
come and visit me, and judge yourself of.
"life among the lowly," and which is the
happier.
when my boy grows up, I hope he
may excel his father in financial ability.
of which no one who knows me doubts,
and that you, Mir, may live long
enough to visit him for many years to
collect his income tax
Yours, &c.,
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1867-06-06

y Berks county paper tells the follow
ing authentic snake story One day
week before last, the family of Mr.. Dex--
ter, residing near the deep cut on the
Reading q Columbia Railroad, in Spring.
township, were attracted to the yard BY
the screaming of cat, when they found,
her engaged in desperate combat with.
a monster black snake, measuring be.-
tween five and six feet in length and five
and half inches in circumference. Af
ter desperate and exciting contest his
snakeship caved in and laid PROSTATE be-
fore the victorious cat who confined the
work of destruction until the life of the
enemy became extinct -
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1867-06-06

The Pennsylvania State Temperance.
Union is about to begin its work of unit
ing all religious and temperance organi-
zations in earnest and perpetual efforts for
the general practice of total abstinence.
from all intoxicating drinks. The State,
has been divided into three departments,
in each of which travelling agent is to be-
employed. William Nicholson, ESQ, of
Philadelphia, has been appointed Resi-
dent Secretary for the whole State.-
James Black, Esq, of Lancaster, is the
President.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1867-06-06
Honesty.

The following anecdote of an Indian,
teaches good lesson to some people that
are more enlightened.
Au Indian, being among his white
neighbors, asked for a little tobacco to
smoke and one of them, having some
loose in his pocket, gave him handful.
The day following, the Indian came back,
inquiring for the donor, saying he had
found quarter of dollar among the to-
bacco. Being told that it was given to
him, he might as well keep it, he answer
ed pointing to his breast, 81 got good
man and bad man here, and the good
man say, cit is not mine-I must return
it to the owner" The bad man say.
"Why, he gave it to you, and it is your
own now" The good man say, That's
not right; the tobacco is yours, not the
money" The bad man say, "never mind,
you got it; go buy some dram. The good
man say, "No, no, you must not do SC" j"
So | don't know what to do, and think to
go to sleep; but the good aud the bad man
keep talking all night, aud trouble me !;
and now | bring the money back | feel
good"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1867-06-06
Master and Scholar.

"When | was boy" said an old man,
eve had school master who had an odd
way of teaching idle boys. One day he
called out to US:
"Boys, must have a closer attention
to your books. The first one of you that
sees another boy idle, [ won't you to in
form me, and | will attend to the case"
"Ah," thought ] to myself, 'there is
Joe Williams, that ! don't like. I'll
watch him, and if | see him look of his
book, I'll tell"
1t was not long before | saw Joe look
off his book, and Immediately | informed
the master
Indeed" said he, show did you know
he was idle 2"
81 saw him." said I.
"You did were your eyes on your book
when your saw him Z"
| was caught, and never watched for
idle boys again.
II we are sufficiently watchful over our
own conduct, we shall have no time to iind
fault with the conduct of others.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1867-06-06
How Smith took IT,

Smith was a sanctinonious deacon, and
kept IN his house small boarding school
Tor boys. At the table he was In the
habit of seizinS whatever his appetite
craved and filing his plate, which was
before him, while standing to say grace"
One day one of the urchins silly removed
his chair during this ceremony, in due
course of time, the deacon, plate in hand,
all went to the floor. He rose and re-
marked: eco ahead, boys, | want no
dinner; what's left is not worth d-n."
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1867-06-06
Singular Accident.

On Friday of last week, large board
ing house at Mahanoy Planes, Belonging
to the Boston and Mahanoy Coal Compa-
ny, which was built over a mine, suddenly
sunk into the earth to depth of seventy
feet or more, by the caving in Of the roof.
of the mine below. The occupants of the
house saw the back building sinking and
made their escape. The cavity left in.
the earth is thirty or forty yards in diam
eter. The roof of the house has been
reached by digging, and $500 in money
and some of the furniture taken out
through a hole made for the purpose
The building took fire from the upsetting
of stove, and it was found necessary to.
turn on stream of water to extinguish,
the flames. Most Of the furniture is bad
ly broken, and the house is said to be
complete wreck, = Carbon Democrat,
Nay 25th.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1867-06-06

The first public school in Rhode Island
was established in Newport, by vote of
the town, in August, 1910. Perhaps this
was the first common school, in the mod
ern sense OF the term, established in the.
world. Hartford established common
school in 1912, and similar schools wers
established in Massachusetts, in l6I7.-
The parish schools of Scotland were not
established until 1896, And though the
Prussiau system of education dates back
as far as lIl7, it was not carried into
eomplecte effect until 1899.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1867-06-06
Borough Bounty Account.

account IF Thomas u. lHcWaney, Trea-
surer cf bounty Fund OF the borough
Of .Hrouds6urg, as prepared and pub
hshed by Borough auditors, under .Act
OF assembly Of april IL, 1866.
Draft ordered September 5, 1864 -
DIR.
To proceeds of note discounted
at Stroudsburg Bank, Aug. 3,
1864, $1lsl2 90
Amount of S25 subscriptions of
81 persons, 1875 O0
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1867-06-06
sTRoUDsBURG, MONROE COUNTY, PA, JUNE 6, 1857

ted at Stroudsburg
Bank, 9S43 33
Amt. rec'ed of Charles
Hebbard, advance on
10 recruits transferred
TO Coolbaugh tsp, $50 90
Amt. of tax rec'ed from
Geo. III. Miller, ol'or, 5722 Sc
Int on note of S. ]. Hol-
linshead, 749
oe
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1867-06-06

The Treasurer of the New York Board
of Exercise has received one million dol
lars for liquor license since the lst ut
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1867-06-06
UNDERTAKING IN ALL IT'S BRAN
cheS

y cheS.
Particular attention will be given to this
branch Of the subscribers business. He will
always study TO please and consult the
wants and wishes of those who employ him.
From the number of years experience he has
had in this branch of business he cannot and
will not not be excelled either in city or
country. Prices one-ihird less than is usual
Iy charged, from 30 to 70 finished Coffins al
ways on hand. Trimmings to suit the best
aearse in the country. Funerals attended
nj one hours notice. ]. II. MCCARTHY.
May II, lS66.-tf.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1867-06-06

Draft OF February 10, 1861
DR..
To proceeds of note discounted
at Stroudsburg BInk, Aug. 3,
1865, S492I 67
Do. Aug. IL, 1865, 3937 33
Proceeds Of note discounted in ia
yor Of Linford Marsh, 1920 90
Do. do. do 1880 90
Amt. S25 subscription Of 103 per-
sons, 2575 90
Samuel Moore's subscription, 13 90
$4,000 no
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1867-06-06
MT. VERNON HOTEL,
N. & T. P. WATSON, Proprietor.,
Nos III & 119 North SECOND Street,

NU. 5 III q ID NUIIN OEOUNU OLI6tU,
(Between Arch and Race,)
PHILADELPHIA, PA.
Close proximity TO the business center of
the city, excellent ccommodat tions, and care
full attention 10 the comfort and wants of
guests are charscteristics Of the Mount Yer
non. The House has been thoroughly rem
evated and new-furnished The patronage
of the public is especially solicited.
October II, lS66.-:f.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1867-06-06
Examined, passed and allowed this 2nd
day of May, 1867.
JOS. r. WALTON. lrAnd;,ors
DANIEL BROWN,

Samuel S. Dreher, Treasurer of Bounty Fund
in Account with the Borough of Stiouds-
burg. for the Draft of Feb. /, 1864.
DR.
To amt. of subscriptions
Of 81 men %, $2425 90
Proceeds Of note discoua-
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1867-06-06

IF YOU WANT A GOOD MELODEON,
IL from one of the best makers in the Uni
ted States, solid Rosewood Case, warranted
5 years, call al MCCARTY'S, he would es-
pecially invite all who are good judges OF
Music to come and test them. He will sell
you from any maker you wish, so less than
those who sell on commission. The reason
is he buys for cash and sells for the same,
with less than one-half the usual per centage
that agents want. J. Fl. MCCARTHY.
May II, IS66.-tf.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1867-06-06

M cCARTY is the only Furniture dealer
lvA in Stroudsbnrg who has License to
sell FURNITURE. August 2, 1865.
Weekly New Oregon plain dealer. (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1866-1867, 1867-04-19
Prepare tor Increased tax cs.

The republican plan for governing
the south says The Albany Argus,
is the most expensive that could be
devised. They refuse self-govern-
ment to ten states, and the result
is that the people of the north must
pay the shot. A standing army,
costing millions of dollars, is to be
maintained in the southern states,
and a host Of new officers created.
Besides this, the whole civil organ
izstion of the south is to be sus-
pended and military law is to take
its place, with scores of military
commissions, whose cost is always
immense. These commissions must
be paid for by northern taxpayers.
Under the civil system, now in
vogue, the southern people support
their courts and the northern people
are put to no expense. There is
not the least necessity for stand
ing army and the immense expcndi-
ture of money, for neither war, re-
bellion, lawlessness nor disorder
prevail in the southern states to a
greater extent than in the northern
states.
Weekly New Oregon plain dealer. (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1866-1867, 1867-04-19
An Intelligent African.

Yesterday an Intelligent gentle
man Of sable hue went to the First
Ward polls to vote. He was hand
cd good loyal ballot, but he was
of the opinion that it did not exact
II suit him, so he borrowed a pencil,
and after manner Of the poor white
trash, fattened his ticket against
the wall and began drawing black
lines across one of the names there
on. A disloyal copperhead who was
standing near, CHANGED to discover
him, and remarked that he had the
ticket wrong side up. Nig's eyes
were rolled up a moment, then fixed
upon the paper for short time,
after which he crunched it in his
fingers with the exclamation: "D-n
dat printah. he make dat tickut
wrong side up Intelligence will
never be made a standard for the
qualification Of voters in this State
while Raiicalism rcigns.-La Crosse
Democrat.
Weekly New Oregon plain dealer. (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1866-1867, 1867-04-19
Radical EiNnuHeDce,

4 Tennessee Radical having call
ed on President Johnson, a few days
ago, to beg for an Office, that high
functionary presented the mendicant
with copy Of the following resolu-
ton, passed by the Brownlow Con-
vention last month, ofwhich lie was
prominent member:
III. That We cover our faces
with shame when We contemplate
the disgrace brought upon our be-
loved State by the detection and
degeneracy Of her unprincipled
adopted son, who, by the bullet of
an assassin, has assembled to the
Chief Magistracy Of the nation and
we shall cordially endorse any act
ion Of Congress which shall lcgiti-
mately deprive him Of continued
power to disturb the peace Of the
country"
Weekly New Oregon plain dealer. (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1866-1867, 1867-04-19
Joke on Ben Butler,

According to the Washington cor
respondent of the Boston Courier,
Rntler is moro porSos~ssd 0ut Of the
House than in it. All sorts Of jokes
respecting him are scr;bbled on the
walls of hotels and public buildings.
He boarded at the Kirkwood House,
and when that establishment was
closed, a story was started that the
hotel was shut up because one Of the
boarders had stolen all the spoons.
After a week Of horribly rainy
weather, somebody wrote On the
wall at Wizards Hotel: "What
makes the clouds so black this week?
Ans. Because Butler has stolen their
silver Innings"
Weekly New Oregon plain dealer. (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1866-1867, 1867-04-19
Ca SIS county is Lewis.

CaSS county Is Lewis.
Prentice says: Brownlow threat
ems to retire to private life-with u
cart-load Of birthstone and chunk
Of fire. Give him achancc.
The Nashville papers have got
politics so badly mixed up that their
papers have to look to tho head to
see which paper is preaching.
The Rev. Mr.. Patty, an Iowa
clergyman, who wanted every man
hung who would not vote the radical
ticket, recently elcped with another
mans wife, leaving Mrs. Petty and
six little Pettys behind.
Never chew your words. Open
the mouth and let the voice come
out \ student once asked, "Can
virchue fortitchude, grachude, or
quiechude, dwell with that man
who is stranger to rectichude ?"
A man committed suicide in San
Francisco, leaving a note saying ne
was not insane but " had concluded
to pass in his checks.
An exchange says that bridal
envelopes" so extensively adver-
tiscd for sale, mean simply night
gowns.
The English Of the Connecticut
election--a Union triumph. Post.
Weekly New Oregon plain dealer. (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1866-1867, 1867-04-19


A National Convention has been
held in Philadelphia for the purpose
Of "baving the Government recog-
nize God" An exchange says
they had better hold a Convention
to induce God to recognize the Gov
eminent
Forney says: ''The democratic
party has survived a series of unut-
terable calamities. It has so;
even the adherence of Forney.-N.
Y. World.
During the canvass in Connecti-
cut, Gov. Hawley said "the country
is still at war" He knows of one
person who has been badly whipped.
A Western wag remarks. that he
has seen a couple of sisters, who had
to be told everything together, for
they were SO much alike that they
couldn't be told apart.
The Legislature of Alabama has
just created new county and nam
ed it Dixie
Denver, in Colorado, has 700 dogs.
The question arises, how on earth
did they all get out there?
1t is well enough that men should
be killed by love. Man born of wo-
man should die Of woman.
The Great Confscator thinks the
rebels are yet unsubdued, and &C
knowledges they are foeman worthy
of his STEAL.
A moral town in Maine has had a
ball, the proceeds of which went to
buy hearse.
Since the passage of the female
suffrage resolution by the Wisconsin
assembly, the price of balmorals has
gone down and pantaloon stuff has
considerably advanced in that state.
Dos, Post.
The county seat Of Jackson county
in Iowa, 10 Andrew, and that Of
Weekly New Oregon plain dealer. (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1866-1867, 1867-04-19

The Connecticut election has Civ
en- our Radical contemporaries the
staggcrs. 1t is amusing to notice
how dlscrepant their reasons are for
the defeat of their party. They do
not like to admit that the Democ-
racy have too many votes for them
that the people are sick Of the
leadership Of BUTLER, ASHLEY and
S1EvESs-and that they ORC '.swins
ing around the circle. intending to
put an end to destroying Radicalism.
But such is the fact.
Weekly New Oregon plain dealer. (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1866-1867, 1867-04-19
TO the Citizens
OF
HOWARD COUNTY.

We wish to call your attention to the fact
that we have on hand one of the largest
and best selected stocks of goods ever
brought to DEBORAH Consisting of
Staple Dry Goods, Groceries,
Crockery, Boots & Shoes,
Clothing, Hats and
Caps, Notions,
Ladies Cloaks, Cloak Cloths and
Cloak Trimmings in endless
variety, Blankets,
~ Shawls, &c.
In fact we have anything and everything
usually kept in a first class
Dry Goods Store.
Our goods were bought before the
rise in goods which enables US
to sell lever than those
who purchased at a
later date.
We sell for cash, pay no rent
and are co,,tented with
q small profit.
You will find our store the next door west
Of Weiser & Co.'S. Bank.
Yours &c. BOWLES & WILSON.
n49v6tf) DEBORAH. Iowa
Sept. 1886,
Weekly New Oregon plain dealer. (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1866-1867, 1867-04-19

"CITIzESs' RIGHTS. There is
nothing the radical editors are SO
apt to butt their heads against as
European politics. The Cincinnati
Gazette, abiding to the projected
sale to France Of the Duchy of Lux
cmburg against the expressed will
gifts people, says:
The popular ferment will do no good
citizens rights not being recognized in
Continental Europe"
Nor "reeognized' by the Gazette :
party, even here-the editor might
have added. There are some ten
States Of the Union where citizens
have fewer civil rights than are
vouchsafed to any people in Europe
-Luxemburg, Poland, and Ireland,
even not excepted.
Weekly New Oregon plain dealer. (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1866-1867, 1867-04-19

AN orator, getting warmed up
with his subject, exclaimed, "There
is not man, woman, or child, in
the house. who has arrived a. the
age of fifty years, but what has felt
this truth thunder through their
minds for centuries -
Weekly New Oregon plain dealer. (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1866-1867, 1867-04-19

The following will suit somebody,
so we give it:
AIa-"Let me kiss him for his mother
Let me kiss her for her mother
Tho bswitching Polly Ann
Let me kiss her for her mother,
Or any other man.
Let mo kiss her for somebody,
Anybody in the world,
With her hair so Swcetly auburn,
And SO gloriously curlcd.
Let ne kiss her for her "tcller,'
And ] do not care red
II he taps me on the smeller
With his billy made Of lead.
Lei. me kiss her for her daddy
The pretty pouting eff
Or, if that don't suit the family,
Let me kiss her FOR myself!
Weekly New Oregon plain dealer. (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1866-1867, 1867-04-19

In the language Of the Governors
proclamation Judge Of Missouri
was removed from office on conviction
Of matters and things A new
crime, known only to radicalism.
Weekly New Oregon plain dealer. (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1866-1867, 1867-04-19

mir. Jones, you said you were
connected with the fine arts, do you
mean that you are sculptor?' mo,
sir, I don't sculp myself, but 1
furnish the stone to the man what
does
Weekly New Oregon plain dealer. (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1866-1867, 1867-04-19

The editor Of the State-line (Va. }
Gazette, desiring to accommodate
himself to the new political dispen-
sation, offers foc sale:
GA well-bound volume, contain
ing the Constitution Of the late
United States, the Constitution Of
Virginia, now Military District A
No. L; also, the Virginia Bill Of
Rights, and the Kentucky Resolu-
tions Of 1888. Any one desiring to
preserve these relics of the barbar-
GUS age, extending from 1776 to
1861, Will do we'll to call. Also, a
copy Of the Bible will be exchanged
for the life and writings of John
Brown, deceased. "
Weekly New Oregon plain dealer. (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1866-1867, 1867-04-19
Gems OfThOslght.

ENERGY 1t is energy ofwill that
is the soul Of the intellect; wherever
it is, there is life: where it is not,
all is dullness, dependency, and
desolation.
NIRTuE.-A soul conversant with
virtue resembles 4 fountain: for it is
clear, and gentle, and sweet, and
communicative and rich. and HARM
less. and innocent.
Loss OF WEALrH.--1t is better
to dwell in q forest haunted by
tigers and lions, the trees our ha BIZ
tation, flowers, fruits, water for food
the grass for a bed, and the bark of
the trees for garments. than live
among relations after loss Of wealth.
A man passes for what he is worth.
Very idle is all curiosity concerning
other people, estimate Of us, and
idle is our fear Of remaining un-
known If a man knows that he
can do anything-that he can do it
better than any one elsc-he has a
pledge Of the acknowledgment Of the
fact by I'll persons.
PIEAsURE.-I have run the silly
rounds Of plea sure, and have done
with them all. I have enjoyed ali
the plea sures of the world. l ap-
prise them at their real worth, which
is, in truth, very low; those who
have only seen their outside always
overrate them; but l have been
behind the scenes, l have seen all
the coarse pulleys and dirty ropes
which move the gaudy machines,
and | have also seen and snelled the
tallow candles which illuminated the
whole decoration, to the astopish-
ment and admiration of the ignorant
audience. When I reflect on what
| have seen. what I have heard, and
what | have done, I can hardly per-
suade myself that all that frivolous
hurry and hustle Of pleasure in the
world had any realities; but l look
upon all that is passed as one of
those romantic dreams which opium
commonly occasions. and | do by no
means desire to repeat the nauseous
dose. --[Chester6eld.
Weekly New Oregon plain dealer. (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1866-1867, 1867-04-19

The Springfield (Mass.) Repub-
lican has a contempt for the himsy
excuses invented by its partisans,
to cover up the many defeats expe-
rienced all over the country. on the
first Monday Of April. II says,
the chief thing proved by Monday S
elections everywhere is, that the
Democratic party obstinately refas-
es to die and be decently buried -
The old party is receiving new vi
tally, and "still lives 1t will
be heard from extensively in October
next.
Weekly New Oregon plain dealer. (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1866-1867, 1867-04-19

The Pittsfeld Shakers arc shaky
in their faith. Elopements are COM
mon among them.
Weekly New Oregon plain dealer. (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1866-1867, 1867-04-19
sL0AN's CONDITION POWDER

1as tho largest sale Of any Horse and Cattle Msdisns
IN this country 1t Is composed Of herbs and ROOTS and
for nildnoss safety certainty and thoroughnoas stads
pre-emiusntly at the head Of the list Of Horse an3
Guile Msdicines. --,..E
becoming stiff laundering. purLhcs tho blood, o1sens
the skim and gives It SMOOTH aud glossy appearances.
cl0ansos the and strengthens every part Of lAs
body 1t 10 also safe and certain remedy for couoe
aAd oolda, which generate 70 many fatal Diseases.