The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1867-09-14
DEAD BRoxu.
81 THn FAT CONTRIBUTOR"

We found a man seated on a eurb-stone
near the post Office last night, muttering to
himself apparently, as there was no one else
to nutter to. We felt constrained to ask
him what he was doing
Haint doin' nothin'," was the reply.
Where do you belongY
Don't blong nowhere and nowhere don't
b'long to me-"
" Who are you p
"Pm Broke
-" Well suppose you are broke, you've go
name, haven't yOu2 What is It p
tell ye I'm Broke-Dead Broke-thats
my name, and that's my natur' My father
was Broke before me. If he hadn't been, /
wouldn't be Broke noW--at least not so bad
My mother was a Peasely, but she wanted
husband and she got Broke-thats my
dad-and Broke got me. I've been Broke
ever since"
For few moments the unhappy D. Broke
buried his face In his hands, and seemed
lost in the most doleful reflections. Then
raising his head, he exclaimed bitterly:
l wish had been born a coltP"
Why DO you wish you had been born a
Because a colt amt 6rOkeuntil he is two
or three years old. I was broke the moment
saw the light, and never got over it It
IS hard to be broke so young"
49, yCNA sACAAto COLlAb 10 Cd41 you
Dead Broke
Well, ye see, as soon as I was born some
thing seemed to tell me that had got to be
broke all my life unless / could get my name
changed by Act Of Legislature and that
you know, would be an impossibility."
How an impossibility2
Are you such blockhead as to suppose
shat man can get anything through the
Legislature when he Is broke r.
You are right Go on"
When the conviction forced itself upon
my infant brain, confused as it was by re-
cent experiences, that / must be Broke alt
my life, felt that there was nothing left TO
live for, and lost all consciousness at once
have found only part of it since) He is
dead cried my mother, wungiug her
hands Yes, groaned my father, dead
Broke. IreVived,r alas But Dead Broke
became my name, and / have been dead
broke ever since My name has been fatal
to me all through life. The smallest boy IN
school always broke me in playing marbles.
broke more windows than any other boy
IN base ball l always broke down at reel
tation, and had my head broke every dav bv
the sehOolmaster When / left school /
went to clerk it for broker One day there
was a heavy deficit in the accounts 1 was
afraid he might think that I had something
70 DO with 1t, SO III broke They caught
me though, and put me in jail but I broke
out"
Out OF jail p
No, d-n it-6Toke out s0itb the small
POg
What did you do next p
After the Court had disposed of nv case
was allowed to go into the brokerage bust
ness again"
How was that
broke stone in the penitentiary-dog
on it After / got out broke everything.
broke my promise, broke the Sabbath, and
broke the pledge"
We're you ever married.
Yes (sighing deeply; matrimony broke
me up worse than anything else. My wife
was regular ripper She broke up my fur
niture and the dishes, nearly broke my back
with a hatlron, and finally broke nv heart.
By running away p
No, indeed, by sticking to me-
You have had a hard time of it."
All owing to my name But bad as !
dislike It. it's mine ] came by it honestly.
You wouldn't think anybody else would want
70 be IN my place, would ye 2 But there are
thousands of impOsters all over the country
trying to pass themselves off for me-"
In what way ?"
When they tell their creditors that they
are Dead Broke
There was another pause, during which
the unhappy possessor of an unfortunate
name could be heard to SOB At length he
broke out
It win be a simple and fitting inserip-
ton for my tombstone, though"
Dead Broke"