Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1867-02-02
TALES & SKETCHES.
TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING,
BY CLARA AUGUSTA.

There is one thing in which think move
lists make great mistake. If they particu-
larly desire to enlist the sympathies of their
readers for their hero or heroine, they repre-
sent him or her alone in the world destitute
of,relatives or friends, with no uncle or aunt,
or even country cousin to fall back upon.
Now to my mind, such situation is the
acme of this.
Everybody who reads this will call me a
brute but l wish before he judges ne, he
wait until lie is the youngest of sixteen
children born of mother who was afflicted
with twelve brothers and sisters, and son of
father who has ten sisters living.
This is my situation-the situation of
James Brown, of Brownsville.
/ caunot remember the time when my
relatives were not a source of trouble to
me.
All through my childhood I was afflicted
with aunts. They wanted to kiss me |;
and though never objected to being kissed
by the ladies in general, objected to this
monopoly of aunts. And, besides, all of my
aunts but one took snuff; and she smoked.
AS l grew older, my uncles became my
trial. They wanted me to do chores. They
were all settled near my fathers residence
most of them farmers if the sheep got in
the field, or the horses jumped out of the
pasture, or the cat eat up the chickens, jim
was called to attend to the matter. It's the
greatest wonder in the world that did not
run my feet off before | reached the age OF
young manhood.
When reached the period Of being tor
tured with the tie of my cravats, and ago
nized about the glossiness of my dickies,
| then my cousins came down upon me with
their wants. Ifthey wanted to 60 to concert,
or singing school, or lecture, or dance, why
there was cousin jim. OF course cousin
Jim would be delighted to go.
And cousin Jim would 60 and they would
| firt with some other fellows, who were not
cousins, all the evening and likely enough
to get to sleep going home and leave cousin
Jim the pleasure of whistling to the moon
for amusement. ....
| When l was about twenty, my father re-
moved to Boston. Twelve of my brothers
and sisters were married; two were al
school and only Ellen and myself were al
home. .. ..
was delighted with the change. W.
should be relieved from our relatives. Most
of them were thoughtful of their money
and would not be likely to spend fifteen o.
twenty dollars in visiting US. ......l...
began to make myself into gentleman
patronized the barber and his unguents-
and cultivated moustache, which was m.
beau ideal of perfection. / wore bright col
ored neckties, and sported a gold watch
and invested three dollars in a rattan, ant
six dollars in beaver, which always CAV
me the headache, and made me look precisel
like an inverted candle mould. But N
matter for that, SO long as / was fashion
able. H.. #fI
made the acquaintance of several charm
ing young ladies, among whom was Mis-
Flora Van Voorhies, the belle of the stree
on which we lived. Flora was beauty
and one of the most fastidious creatures i
the world. Nothing was quite good an
elegant enough for her. She would nc
have breathed the common air if she coul
conveniently have dispensed with it, and
the soles of her dainty boots touched th
soil of mother earth, it affected Flory's nerve
/ so badly that she had a headache for houi
afterward. H t. u..t
Twas raised to the seventh heaven an
lemon colored kids by her preference an
every night devoutly prayed that some
my relatives would appear and nip I'll
whole thing in the bud. ..- ..F.s
Five months rolled away, and l began
; feel at ease. None of them had trouble
o us, and we had not heard from them in an
:. way. ] INDUCED the hope that they ha
= forgotten us. So, / think, did my mothe
who had become quite genteel, and hs
). formed some very genteel acquaintances.
One morning when Mrs. st. Michael ar
Mrs. Loery, two of our most distinguish
acquaintances, were in the parlor with n
mother, one of the railway hacks stopped
our front door. felt myself growing
cold as peeled frog. From the hack the
Z, issued three bandboxes, two trunks, butt
u box, handled basket bundle in a brow
! = paper, an umbrella, and lastly a green pol
y bonnet, beneath which distinguished t
ls little wizened face of my fathers olde
sister--Aunt Sally Nutter. The very bla'
es sheep of the whole flock of relativesi
"Bring 'em all right into the entry" 5