The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1867-07-11
iuit amO 1umOr.


A wife aaked her husband II drug
gis,s kept dye stuifs fer sale. He re-
piled, "inost druggists keep listle else
but die studs." .c~
A mother told her daughter, Rose,
ahe would never get married, she was
81 digniaed. Psiinsoses are net ds.
apised, was her reply.
The Newburg Jovyhdl notices
birth on the ears and heads IL, a'Bora
a. Thirty Miles au hour" II that
youth isnlt fasti won. be because
IL hadn't good start.
Now that "tilting hoops" are going
out Of fashion, lot Que thing be said
ia their lagor-.thc wearsrs OF them
we're never liable to Arrest for ebay
log no visible means OF supports"
Uncle Have you road that article
in the Literary Album about chig-
nous, Joe2 Fopish Nephcw,-Hsw
extwacts. Yes, gwegowinesl fwight-
ful ideawl why il isa't safe to ~ to
church, positively, with ladissl
Avoid argument with ladies' Ia
spinning your yarns among silks aud
satins, a man is sure 10 be worsted
and twisted and when a nau is
worsted aud twisted, he may consider
himself wound up. ad
A writer, dwelling npou the i'm
poriauce Of small things, says, shat
he always takes notice Of q straw. os.
peoially if there happen to be a sher.
ry cobler at one end Of Il.
A forlorn fellow says thus plain.
tiv,ly: "When Sally's arms her dog
imprison, | always wish my ueck was
his'n how often would l stop and.
turn, to got pat from a hand like
her'n and when she kisses Towser's
nose, OIL don't wish that I wore
those" r1
Alta church 10 Scotland two eandi-
dates offered 10 preach, of the names
Of Adams aud Low. The last preach.
ed 10 the morning, and took for his
text "Adam whero art thou?" Iu tho
evening Mr.. Adams preached, aud
took for his text, "Lo. am hersl''
The following copy ofn written no.
tice appears in western paper.
Lost or stride from the subscriber,
a sneep all over white, Que leg Was
black aud hall his body. Al parsons
shall reserve Ave dols TO bring him.
lie rs she goat.
Kato was brought up before the
Judge, and iuterrogated a. foil eel
What passed between you aud the
prisoner2' said the judge to the wit.'
ness. "Ohl theo, plase your Worship
secs Nike top Of the garden wall
Pat, says he; what, says I there,
says lie where, says l whist, says
he hush, says and that's eli /
know about it,plase your worship"
A little Unicn girl, whose falhsf
had just returned from the war with
an honorable discharge, went to visit
a relative 10 distant county, accom-
panied by lady. Arriving late In
the evening at Uncle BIS, our little
patriot, being much fatigued, pFopos-
ed to retire, and solicited her COM
panion to 60 With hor. "0h, no. ra.
spouded she, ~ must wait until d.
has prayers" PRAY" said our little
friend, "does Uncle b. pray? Why, l.
thought he was democrat ~.
The Salt Lake Videts says: "a
say farer dropped into the Accident
al Hotel, in this place, on Tuesday,
to got 4 square meal. Having plant-
ed himself at enc Of the tables, he was
confronted by the waiter with y
"What'll you haye?' The hungry one
fastened his eyes on the attaehe q
soup aud said "What have you got
that's good?" "0h, we've roast beef,
corn beef roast mutton. boiled NUT
ton, fried ham and boiled curlew.y
"What the h III is curlew?p said the
stranger. "Curlew? why cuFlew is
bird something like snips." Didie
ay?" "Yes." "Did II have wingsPs
"Yes '-"Then I aon'twan Any cur
lew in mine anything that had wings
and could Fly, aud didn't leave this
d--a country / don't want for dinner"
A man aud lis wife who have bees
married ten years, disagSeed, and de-
termined to separate. The terms Of
their separation were to be decided BY
judge Of the drroRdissement 10
which they lived. They Wsfs Pari-
SLAMS. "Havs you any childreng'
said the judge. ayes monsieur
How nauyf" ''Thrse--two boys ana
a girl---and it is With Il en- lies our
difficulty. Madame wishes 70 have
two % theti so do T." .sTIsva Won
agreed to abide by my dscisis nfrssfFe
have. said both Of them. sVesv
well, my friends eondsmp You.
then, to have anothsr child, 30 that
you may zach ofyou hays Two. When
yoa have shlainsd thar, you may'f6A
turn TO me- The matter was thea
adjourned for tho time being. I've
years Afterwards, the xorthy uiagis~
trate. who in the mesnwhlle had heard
nothing Of the husband or wife, moA
the former. sAh, we'll" said ka,
show about the seperationgs Stillim-
possible. monsieur, Iastssd Of fous