The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1867-08-23
The Modern ,ymouth Pilgrims.

Something must be wrong with Plymouth
church, otherwise the select sample Of saints
who are now on their way to Palestine to
tho Holy Sepulchre would never be subjected
to suoh trials and humiliatons as they have
had to undergo The entire voyage Of the
Quaker City thus far has been a record OF
queer navigation, storms and ludicrous contre-
Temps hodge-podge Of psalm singing and
sea sickness, high winds and long-winded
exhortations. The excursionists havesosen out
only ten weeks; but in that brief time, accord
ing to all accounts, they have succeeded in
boring each other to such an extent that, a.
last resort, they have formed mutual admira-
ton societies to celebrate each others birth
days. Since the days Of Peter the Hermit
there have boon few pilgrimages so unfortunate
as this one. At the very start the voyagers were
storm bound, and they sang half the hymns in
the Plymouth collection and held three long
prayer meetings before they lost sight Of Fort
Hamilton. Arrived in Gibraltar Strait they
were driven by stress Of weather into Fayal
Roads. In Marseilles the festive demonstra.
tons which had been prepared in their honor
were rudely withdrawn when 1t was found that
the company consisted exclusively Of saints, and
that the illustrious sinner Sherman was not on
board. At Naples the authorities ruthlessly
quarantined the ship as If 1t had contained
mere ordinary freight Worse still, at Leg
horn, as a correspondent Of the HERALD in
forms us, the government mistook tho quiet
pilgrims for Garibaldian consplrators, and
came near arresting the whole party. Why
these injurious suspicious, Wa do not know.
Our conjecture Ia that some OF the tourists
belonged to she old New York Fire Department,
and incautiously flashed their red shirts In
sensitive Italian eyes. Storm tossed, insulte d,
guaranteed and suspected, what have Mr.
Beeoher and his flock done, that their associates
should suffer thusi
Evidently there Is Jonah among the pill
grims. Such an accumulation of misfortunes
can be accounted for in no other way. Who
is the offending brotheri If Lieutenant General
Sherman had not backed out Of the trip we
should unhesilatingly select him as the guilty
prophet; for we happen to know that Sherman
on board ship is given to lying on the fat Of his
back all day, smoking Havana cigars, drinking
elegant whiskey and reading naughty French
novels. Had Maggie Mitchell carried out her
original intention Of accompanying the tourists
we might even have suspected her, supposing
that she had been indulging in a surreptitious
shadow dance, or something Of the kind, and
had thus called down the vengeance Of the
winds and waves. But neither the soldier nor
the actress was Of the party. Who, then, Is the
Jonahf We cannot impeach any Of the half
dozen ministers nor their numerous deac ons
| and male and female followers who form the
bulk Of the passengers. We can suspect no
| one but Mark Twain. He must be the man.
| He has either been perpetrating "goak" or
letting out an impatient curse in the middle Of
| the Reverend Billiards. most moving sermo on
perhaps both. He should be expelled at once
Such an incorrigible humorist had n6 business
there, to begin with, and he only got on board
by pretending to be Baptist parson from Cali
fornia. Let the Plymouth pilgrims put the
Reverend Mark ashore, and they can then
resume their journey to the Holy Land II
peace, and stay there just ss long IS they have
II