Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1867-12-13
Wise .N Otherwise.

Moving for a new trial al--courting a
second wife. ' ft.ia -
Much ado about nothing parting OF
young ladies, a'ib'ff ~
lf a tough beefsteak could speak
what English poet would IL name
Chaw-sir.
n Every duty which we omit, obseures
known. Ruskin. s,85.se = ]
Five hundred thousand copies OF
"Macaulay's History have been sold
IN this country alone since its first pub
lication by Harper Brothers. n -
An irish waiter ut hotel. ordered
hy weary traveller to bring larger
boot jack than the one i'm the house, All
vised the broad footed guest 10 go fur
ther and use the fork of the road Just
beyond. ar,tar. .uFf
A livery stable man i'm Davenport
gave q po1r fellow a nights lodging I'm
his stable the other night, aud i'm the
morning the ungrateful fellow walked
off with buffalo robe aud sundry arti-
cles Of apparel. Z
In a graveyard in Lagrange, Tenn,
Is said TO be q tombstone with this in
scription
Here lies old twenty percent
The more lie got the less he spent: @
The more he got the more he crnved
III ne gets 10 heaven well all be saved"
A man in Hartford, CT, advertised
recently that, on receipt of IA certain
sum, he would, by return mail. In
struct az applicant how to make for
~ no Id IL Ifs...s. kAI ~
cigars--half Havana and half home
made--as did, and always be ready to
pick up stray chicken"
Henry Vincent's idea of q model fam
lily Is thai II ought not to numler less
than fourteer children; but "Miners, -
of the Providence Press, says; A nice
time poor laboring man would have
buying for such q family, butter at fif-
ty cents pound, eggs at forty cents n
dozen. and beefsteak at two shiIlings a
pound. 'i2 h'ts 3
ll"What do you call this?'' said Mr..
Jones Smith. gently tapping his break
fast plate with his fork. Call p,
said the landlady what do you call
it?o swell really" said smith refiec-
lively, II don't know. There Ii hard
ly hair enough la IL for mortar, tbut
there is entirely too much If 1t is inten-
ded for hash.
In a lawsuit at Troy, N. Y, where
the value of six ducks in controversy
was To depend on their age, the point
was decided by bringing the ducks into
the Court of Justice Neary, and made
to squawk. The noise they made deci-
ded them to be over one year old, and
consequently Of the value OF mature
fowls. Justice Neary SO decided the
case. Ii is the firstsuit op record when
ducks we're called 70 testify.
"Never,n said Theodore Hook, 'let
man and wife play together at whist.
'fhey are always teiegraphs; and if
they fancy their looks are watched
they can always communicate by words.
/ found out that could never win Of
Smigsmag and his wife. mentioned
this one day and was answered. .sNo,
you can never win of Them why
said l. Because said my friend they
have established a code, Dear me-!
signals by looks?' No. said he, sig
mails by words II Mrs. Smigsn1ag is
to lead, Smigsmag says: Dear, begin, !,
Dear begins with II, so does diamonds,
and out c)mes one from tlse lady. If
he has to lead and she says, = my love-
she wants spade. Harriet, my dear,
how long y0ff are sorting your cards.
Mrs. Smigsmag stamps down heart,
and gentle Come my love, ON either
side. produces club, !"
s go 4