The Hancock Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Ohio) 1857-1870, 1867-07-12
Nasty.

be understood by Democrat, and
Puritanicle. WIZ mistaken. There
is ez heavy n per cent. nv men in
whom His Eggslcney and kin take
delite eZ ther is in any city in the
lcountry, ez the followin incidents,
which came under my notice, will
show:
Ez we wuz goin through Franklin
street a man stepped up TO the car
riage rather hesitatinly--
Mr.. President" sed he.
"Well," sed His Eegslency, turn
in full upon him.
The site NV the nose NV the Step
Father NV his Country reasshoored
him.
"Mr. President, wood 700 like
some punchr''
Punch! Certainly. But hevn't
yOo suthin stronger, to lay founda-
shen with z"
Certainly" and he pnlled hot
tie Nv brandy from his right hind
pocket, and the great man took an
tom nv it, wich lastid a minnit.
never agin will doubt that the mate
rial to make Democracy NV exists in
a country wher they come at 700 with
punch, and hev brandy bottles in
ther coat pockets.
Bokays were showered upon US
One old gentleman, who sot two
hours in a chair waitin to present US
with his, finally histed it at us The
The fact that there wuz note in it
askin for a posishen fur the genrous
giver, don't detract any thin from the
valyoo Nv the gift. When we got to
the end Nv our trip ther wuz a dray
load NV bokays in our carriage and
in all but three NV EN- wuz tied up
recommendation for the givers for
places. Its better to hev sich mis-
sives enveloped in roses, though the
most thOrns We git amt got roses
round em.
The most techin incident wuZ the
number NV babies We he'd TO kiss
The mothers pressed to our carriage
steps to present their offerins. Mis-
takin me for the President, / kisst
half Nv EN-. The rapcherus expresh-
uu on the upturned faces Nv the anx-
shus mothers affected the President
to teers, shown, ez it did, the conf
aence reposed in him.
i Whisht! Teddyr' sed one NV EN-,
/" and how'd yer mug up fer the man
to kiss who doesn't kiss the dirthy
nagers p
Musha, Phelim, be still. The
Pnsidint, bless his soWl, won't bite
YEP
Lind me yer apurn, to wipe Ter
ry's face wild. The Prisidint musht
kiss the darlin. Taint livery Presi-
dent wood do the loik"
And the President kissed, and
kissed till our lips wuz sore
Sich is posishun
That mite l received letter from
from Deekin Pogram in wIch he de-
sired me TO ascertain whether or no
there wuz eny bottom TO the North
ern Dimocrisy. Capt. McPeIter sed
the Northern Dimocrisy wuz strong
enuff to carry us NV Kentucky throO,
while Pollock, the Illinoyer, swoIe
the Northern Dimocrisy he'd con
siderable more to do TO carry them
selves than they he'd BIN able to ac-
complisL fUI sumo uuv-tLat la ..
pullin match a corpse wuzn't NV
much akkount et it wuz q big one.
With this letter in my hand fell
asleep, and while asleep. dreemed.
Methawt l was in Moo Orleans at
a gathrin NV the Faithful, who wuz
called together for the purpose of
considrin wat to do. Sum few
Longstreet, GOV. Brown, and JET.
Thompson-wuz in favor NV submis-
sion, and he'd got the majority NV the
Southren people TO agree with 'em
that there was no yoose nv further
resistance, snd they wus jist about to
so declare, when Yallandigham, Ben
Wood, Toucey, Morrisey, Vorhees,
and score or two more NV that
kind, rushed in and begged NV 'em
to hold out. why SUBMIT sed Val
landigham, Wen sustain yoo. The
Northern Dimocrisy is giant wich
kin yet perfect 700. He's in his
prime and strong enuff yit to carry
yOo throo twice the troubles wich
threatens 700. Depend onto US
we'll carry yoO.'
And the Southcners whopped over
to their side and yelled fiercely, No
submissionn and immejitly the entire
bilin NV EN- startld North with these
men to ascertain the strength and
carryin' capacity Nv the Northern
Dimocrisy. Methawt the party trav
eled and travelled, until finally they
come to vast plain in Kentucky,
onto wich wuz extendid PROSTATE the
form NV Giant. 1t wuz a Giant
immense ir statoo,, but emaciated to
the last degree. His limbs he'd bin
strong, his teeth terrible, and his
trunk massive, but it wuz plane to
see that he wuz pegged out and a
look at its face showed why it wuz
SO. Dissipation he'd redoost him to
helplessnis. His face wuz bloatid
and bloc, his eyes WIZ sot and ghast,
liz, his chest wuz holler and sunken,
his legs like pipe stems, and ulcers,
boiis, sores, brooses and contooshens
kivered him from head to foot, and
he drawed his breath with a effort.
He lay groanin and a groanin.
Randall wuz a tenderly feedin him
out NV huge bottle labelled sap
pintments' which appeared to give
him temprary strength, but the effect
Nv that wuz los: by President John
sons dosin him with an oaensiy
smellin mi1ter labelled POLICY ev
cry swaller nv wich wood throw him
into spasm. Gov. English was
rubbin one arm with a liniment Ran
dali gave him, and he'd succeeded in
gittin up little circulation in it.
wat is thisT' askt the Southerners
Northern Dimoerisyp sed English
rubbin away vigorously.
is this the Giant wieh is to carry
usf' said the Southern gentlemen,
viewin the disgustin objick doubt.
fully.
Certainly said johnson, Now
can't you git up:' said he, to the
PROSTATE bein, givin it very large
swaller out Nv his bottle. The giant
made an effort, bat Topped down
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