The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1867-08-15
forlthe Lancaster Gazette.
Manners. r
NO "

iar common sense style OF saJ'in;
things, pleased me more than an
| have seen. The sum of what b.
said, was, that true manners con
sisted in that kind of deportmen
that always made you feel tba
"you were YOURSELF" and that ..
am myself" II was a purely orig
inal way Of expressing an idea
and therefore the more satisfying
He was right, if VIC look at III,
matter closely, without atlem ptin.
to call to our aid too much learn
ing. Not to obtrDde ourselves up
on others by assuming something
that don't belong to US, but to ap
pear just as We are, and at tn,
same time MOTTO attemptto appro
pirate anything thing that is an
others, 10 ourselves, by thought
less or impertinent inquisitiveness
or by peering too closely into them
that is manners; both parties fee
easy and natural.
But now the question remains
how are good manners to be ac
quiIed and maintained ? Manners
are born with US; that is, the de
pertinent we are inclined to mani
fest will be prompted by innate
qualities; and the matter that con
Germs US, is, to find what individu.
al effort has 10 do with improving
our manners. No one, even OF
limited observation, can have fail.
ed to notice that there is a some.
thing belonging to every individu.
alily that either attracts or repels
others. The qualities, whatever
they be. arc uDdefnablc; we can
say nothing more of them than
that we like or dislike such and
such persons at first sight; we don't
know why. And then again we
are repelIed by some who attract
others; and rice rersa. Some have
defined these qualities to be indi-
vidnal atmospheres thrown out
from the soul; and thus they
speak Of afinitics and disaffinities.
However, with this view ofoursub-
ject we have nothing to do, only 10
say, that individuals bring with
them into the world qualities that
differ very much.
Good manners are simply agree
able qualities or that kind of de.
pertinent that is agreeable TO those
with. whom we mingle 4; while eve
rything that offends, or causes 9TH
ers to feel disturbed, is to be held
as i'll manners 1t is not essential
that we are to be attracted by eve
ry one that we approach in order
that we shall acquire the rcputa.
tion Of being marnerly. That is
not to be expected it cannot be.
But if we are true 70 ourselves, and
do not trespass upon the feelings Or
prerogatives Of Others, we will, in.
spite ofany kind of unjustiflablc
envy be awarded the character of
being well bred. And this kind of
conduct is entirely within individ-
nal control. 1t does not belong in
a peculiar sense to the high or the
low. 1t is not classical !; does not
from the schools. 1t is of.
ten the ornament of theunlettered
1t will be confessed that the most
agreeable manners one finds often
exists with the humble, unpretend-
ing classes, who labor with their
hands. A he'd carrier once. in my
presence, eclipsed a fashionable
lady so far in man ners, thai it made
4 lasting impression on my mind.
| don't know whether she felt il.
If she did, her pride did not allow
Of any visible acknowledgement.
He was waiting on the pavement
for an opportunity to climb the
ladder. The lady called upon her
male companion to "order that dir.
~ fellow out of the way" Inpas.
sing, her veil caught pom his hod.
md was drawn from her bonnet,
The man Or mud apologized pleas
lntly as nc presentedit to her, not
standing he had heard her unkind
'equest. She graspcd the trinko:
lnacknowledgingly and pass o on.
Much that is proposed as good
or good breeding, in re-
iAed society, is overdono work, and
hose who propose it are uncon.
icious that it sometimes gives Of
ence; for the best sense does not
always move in the "highsr circles
It means to say ~ am wiiiing to
,dtroni-e you," condescendingly;
out a chilling atmosphere is at the
'ame time diffused around, which
S obviously intended to forbid a |
learer proximity. True manners
ire bred in the family circle. Ur-
PANTY cultivated, aud never vic.
ated by the members of the same
amily towards each other, will lie
carried abroad and TIE reverse
will always be true. individuals
ire estimated at what they are in.
lividually worth, while the good
iense of the whole world will make
,hc due allowances for personal pc.
and idiosyncrasies, al
ways, and under all circumstances,
while each one minds his or her
,wn business, and does not with
,old his or her dnes. t. tho com
nonwealth, or shock tho public
mind by the grossness of their pub
ic conduct. DEATA.
A correspondent Of the N, \.
Tribune sends il this pithy noto:
Cir Hara is n hrinf and (.oncluS