The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1867-08-22
HUMOROUS.

John tells a story of Thompson
and Rogers, two married bucks OF
New York, who, wandering home late
one night, stopped at what Thompson
supposed was his residence, but which
his companion insisted was his own
house. Thompson rang the bell lus-
tily, when window wasio ened and a
lady inquired what was wanted.
Madam" Inquired Mr.. r., isn't
this Mr.. T-Thompson's house?"
No." repliea the lady; this is
the residence ofMr. Rogers.
We'll, /" exclaimed Thompson,
Mrs. ELECTROMAGNETIC your
pardon-Mrs. Rogers, won't you just
step down to the door and pick out
Rogers, for Thompson wants to go
home. te.4
A HINT-Josh Billings gives the
following hot weather hint to MEM
bers of the 6 cloth" II always adj
mire short sermons, especially on a
hot Sunday. If minister kant stHke
lie in boring fort! minutes, he has
either got poor gmlet, or else he is
boring in the wrong place"
SAM" said terrible infant at
breakfast table, hw mornings since,
to love-lorn swain, ''can fishes
run?o (" No., vas the answer,
" fishes do not run; they swim, by
using their fins AID tails Well,
then, what did Cousin Sophie mean
when she said Du looked Ia the
morning like the last run of shad? :"
1t is believed that when Cousin So
phie caught that : terrible infant !"
alone, her conduct toward him whs
not caressing.
When Moore was getting his por-
trait painted by Newton, Sydney
Smith, who ACCOMPANIED the poet,
said to the artist: Couldn't you con-
trive to throw into his face some
what stronger expression of hostility
to the Church Establishment"
A young. gentlema, after having
paid his addresses to lady for some
time, popped the question:" The
lady, in frightened manner. said,
6 You scare me, SIR The gentle
man did not wish te frighten the
young lady, and consequently re-
NAMED quiet for some Tine. when she
exclaimed, scare me afain."
Whar. asked reDwned stump
orator, who was runninefo the office
of Constable, "whar, M enlightened
friends of the Sixty-sxth Militia
District, was Andrew Jackson in the
battle of New Orleanl? Wur he
thar? He war. He wasa ridin' up
and down on bob tailed Arabian, a
wavin' of cracked saber up to the
armpits in blood and mud and a CIV
in of the British thunder the genius
of his country holdin' oil her agis
over his head, cotton bales paveneer-
ing in front to protect him rom every
danger, and the American Eagle, with
the stars and stripes in is beak,
soarin' aloft in the blue empyrean,
cryin' Hail Colum bia ="
Trifes.' y of the Philadelphia Sun
day Press, relates an ahecd,te of the
Irish manager of theatre, which ex-
listed in that city many 7ears ago,
thus: One evening a gentleman who
had an appointment with ole of the
actors was going behind he stage,
when he was stopped by the manager.
. And what'll We be afaer want
in p
II want to see Mr.. M /"
THE devil you do An it's yer
self that has the impudence What,
to see my actors! An suppose We
kept menagerie, how wouli We like
it yerself if livery blackguarl wanted
to come in and see the b;stes for
nuthin' p
One of Josh Billings naxims:
. Rize airly, work hard and hte, live
on what you cant sell, give nothing
ava, and if you don't die rich and 90
to the devil, yu may sue me for dam
ages.
A John Bull, conversing with an
Indian, asked him if he knew that
the sun never sets on the Queens do
minions.
No, said the Indian.
do you know the reason why?"
asked John.
Because God is afraid to trust an
Englishman in the dark, was the
savage's reply.