North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-12-18
McGREGOR IOWA, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER Is, 1867

ton, and submitted the floor to some one
less under the influence of beverage call
ed corn juice.
The banquet was success, and many
hearts were made glad in consequences
On the following morning we resumed our
journey that is to say, the course of
Empire was pushed westwardly until the
dim outlines Of the Sierra Nevadas loom
ed up against the western sky. We pitch
ed our tents in sight of the mountains
Hunted buffaloes on the wide-stretching
plains, and actually felt like ''Injuns."
Editor Quilp was painted terribly war
like, ard dubbed "spotted TAIL" being
familiar with the native dialect, he talked
to the appreciative audience with his series
Of "ughs," "waghs," grunts and other
gutteral sounds incident to the Indian
language. Many thought Quilp did bet
ter in this effort than he did at the Omaha
banquet. Major Els portly form was
painted up and he looked immensely dam
gerous. You see the Major only weighs
$50 pounds gross-we don't know how
much net Others followed suit until
quite band Of warriors was rugged out.
We danced the "green corn dance," keep
ing step with Shoaf's gourd music. Shoaf
sat fat down on the ground, and beat
log with an old gourd, the old seeds re-
naming, making quite warlike tumult.
The Major sweat like bay steer, and
looked frightfully "Big Injun.'
The " fraternity remained at the ter
minus of the road few days; and few of
us, in the meantime, concluded to play In
jun and visit the mountains at all hazards.
We captured some mustang ponies (the
same kind from which is manufactured
McLean's Mustang Liniment) and started,
well armed with beads and whiskey. Two
days incessant travel brought us to the
base of the giant mountains, and turning
our ponies loose to Craze, while we pro-
ceedcd to make the ascent, we started up
the rugged sides at sunrise in the morning,
and pressed on until impeded by the eter-
nal SHOWS. We reviewed the staff and
symbol of American glory, planted there
by the hand of the immortal Fremont
But the solitary bee which hummed around
those craggy peaks, was invisible to the
naked eye. We saw many thousand feet
above the level of the sea, felt enthusias-
tic, and mania for writing more poetry
seized upon us, and on the spur of the
moment, snatched quill from the paint
ed "mug" of Major E., and tried to
obey the promptings of my poetic mind,
but memories of my failure at Omaha
seemed to dampen my enthusiasm, and
beneath the rays of bright October sun.
we wiIted; and, as the day was well ad-
vanced, we proposed to descend. The de-
scent was made without any accident wor-
thy Of mention, with the exception that
Major Els implements of locomotion at
one time became unmangeable and the con-
sequence was that his portly figure came
in contact with several huge boulders,
which stood out from the mountains. He
was finally brought up against huge
rock, after rolling about two hundred feet.
He forgot, in the meantime. that he was
an aboriginee, and gave vent to his "pheel-
inks" in right smart chance of editorial
''cusses." : During his series Of revolu-
tions he smashed his parrot (well loaded
with corn juice) all to pieces.
We Joined our faithful messengers at
the mountains base, and struck for the
Editorial camp.
Nothing occurred to mar the pleasure of
our ride except three Indian fights which
were had with few rowing cusses from
Spotted Tails tribe. We came out victo-
rious, and returned to the camp with sev-
eral trophies of our undoubted valor.-
Major Il. Proved to be the hero of the
trip, and swung the hatchet in the first
fray with vim that was telling of his
muscular proportions. He lifted four top
nots himself, which was good work for one
' frail " editor. have already stretched
my letter to an interesting length, and
with many kind wishes for the late Excur-
tionists, draw my cpistle to close.
Resp'y, j. NJ. S. QUILP.
p. S.-The duel which l expected wo'd
come off between ourself and the editor of
the ''Bugville Brick did come off, and,
without flattering ourself, we must say,
that success perches again upon our ban
ner. Fighting duels is only a breakfast
spell. Au Reroir, j. NJ. S. Q.