Delaware State journal and statesman., 1867-05-14
WIT AND HUmoR.

We'll, Mr.. Snow, wants to ak you ques-
tim 'Propel it, den.' why am grog shop
Lille o counterfeit doIarP We'll Ginger, gibs
d& right up 'DOea you glib it upf--Kase you
can't pass it, Yah yah niger, you talk so
mich bout your counterfeit dollars, just succeed
tOdeform me why counterfeit dollar is like an
apple pie? p '0hl draps the subject and dosn't
kntw nothin bout it, 'Kase it isn't current
'0bl de Lord, what a niggerl Why am your
head like bag OBJ dollars2 go way from me
why am itf' 'Kase dare no sense (cents) in
it, 'Wel you always was the brackest niger
n'ber seed-you always will hab de last word.'
PATCH WoRK,-'Please, sir said snub-nose
gil fourteen years Of age, to country dealer
in Try goods, 'to send mama the pattern of your
caico0s, and put 'em cheap, for she is going to
gela new gown soon and wants to see what'll
wah.' who is your mama p my ma'ina is
auit Dolly Dee, SIR Your sister was here yes
teray and took patterns of all l have.' 'Yes,
sir,I know that, but then she seWed them up for
path work, and would not give me any, and
toll me to go shopping myself
Say said a wag to tall youth, whose ap-
peTsnce will be readily understood, wasn't
thee tall tree growing in front of your fathers
hOseF why so p inquired the young fellow.
Because you look 80 laundering green reok
ond you must have been brought up in the
shide.'
In eastern editor says that man got himself
inb trouble by marrying two wives. A western
editor replies by assuring his cotempOrary that
q good many had done the same thing by marry
ing one. A northern editor retorts that quite q
number of his acquaintsnoes found trouble
enough by barely promising to marry without
going any further. A southern editor says that
found in company with another mans wife.
Wen engage the last two were sour old bachelors
who couldn't find girls to have them.
Mrs Partington says "Ike has the. vey same
stockings he wore when he was ia the S,pheads
and Minors regiment, only she has hadto darn
'em little by putin two feet on 'em onsseason
and tive legs next.
An elderly Pennsylvania woman, witt her
daughter, looking at the marble statnte & Gil
rard in the college building, the ,ther day,
startled the bystanders by exclaimisg: 'La
Sally, how white he was."
A petulant old lady having refused suior
to her neice, he expostulated with her, and N
quested her plainly to divulge her reasons.
see the villain in your faoe,' said she. 'rhat i
a personal reflection, madam answered tn
lover.
An exchange gives reasons for not publishin
a poetic efusion as follows;-'The rhythm sound
like pumpkins rolling over a barn floor, Will
some Of the lines appear to have been measure
with yard-stick, and others with a ten-fOt
pole
See Naples and die. said somebody, but
bachelor friend reminds US that China is Ii
place for a family man to die; for in that count
the physician who kills you has to support yO'
family.
How is your husband, dear p asked one lat
; of another '0h, he is in very bad state "
the reply. 'Aud pray what kind of state
he in y persisted the other. In State Prlsol
A student riding, being jeered on the way
wearing but one spur, said that il one side
his horse went on, it was not likely that t
other would stay behind.
jury in Arkansas is said to have brOuG
in the following verdict: "Guilty, with Sol
doubt as to whether he is the right feller."
Why is prOsy preacher like the middle Of
wheel? Because the fellows around him
tired.
The only shares that are sure to turn up
ID right. Plow shares.
is What nation produces marriages2 FasC
q, tion.
Why was Adam the swiftest runner in
world Because be was first in the human re
4. A young sailor who received a blowing-up fl
his sweetheart, called her wind-lass.
n Beauty and genius are the most perilou
IS, oil inheritances.
T. Why is the second wife Of widower wit
ND small family like Roman kiDg2 Because
$ J is a Mama (new ma).