davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1867-08-23
A Church-gOing Bellies SOlil-
OOlly.

Il should think they would keer
the pews from dust; l shall certainly J
soil my new satin. wonder whether
",nyhndy noticed nv new bonnet.
think it, very becoming. Goodness
if there isn't Miss Sprague, the
school teacher, rugged out in a new
mantilla. She spends all her salary
on dregs, or Pm mistaken. I do
hate vanity and ostentation.
l wonder who that young gentle
man is in the next pew; he's very
handsome certainly. I never saw
such a becoming moustache. I
shouldn't wonder if it was the city
cousin Mrs. Primrose has told me Of.
| should like to know if he is married.
[ guess l will speak to Mrs. Prim-
rose after church. Perhaps she will
introduce me. .. ....
80, dear me! what long prayer.
It's tiresome standing up so long.
[ hope they'll introduce the custom
Of sitting down during prayer. I
should like to hint to cur minister
that he had better shorten his serv-
ices. f.... ...'
81 wish papa would take pew in
Mr.. Watson's church. Such beau
tiful preacher as he is. His SER
mons are so poetical, and then he's
so handsome and so intellectual. -
They say he's looking out for wife.
| wonder what sort of a minister S
wife I should make. 1 have serious
thoughts of joining the church.
''How unbecomingly Mrs. Spaul-
ding is dressed | believe that
woman is perfectly destitute of taste.
When will the sermon be through
! declare if there isn't Miss Holder
with a feather in her honnct. Some
people admire her complexion, but
its my opinion that any one may
have fine complexion who will
paint! Thank Heaven! I haven't t
come to that yet
"How hot it is! Where's my fan
The bencdiction at last. Now must
contrive to see Mrs. Primrose, and
get an introduct ticn to that gentle
man. All ! there she is -
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1867-08-23
Ere a. Douglass ON the Situa-
ton.

The New York correspondent of
the Louisville Democrat gives the
following as the purport of conver-
sation with Fred. Douglass
Somebody yesterday asked Fred,
Douglass (blaek) why he didn't
60 down South along with the rest
Of the republican orators, to help
enlighten the minds of the freedmen
as to their politiral duties, etc.
"Because, said Fred, Il want
to train alone. l want to wait until
those mean whites get through with
their talk, and then will begin. I
notice that in all the speeches that
Wilson, Kelley and the rest of them
have been making to the colored
folks at Richmond, Mobile, New
Orleans, and other places, nothing
is ever said about giving the colored
men a Vice President of their own
color. But they've got to make
that concession to us, aud that is
just what | am going down South to
tell our folks to insist upon."i.
but Fred, do you think the Rad
ical managers will acceae to this
arrangement p .f-
II have no doubt of it, sar; none
at all. Wendell Phillips and Horace
Greeley say they are in favor Of it,
and what they say has got to be
done. They are tho men who run
~ pnr,,hl;aan ra-4 alona With olJ
Ben. Butler, and whoever you'd run
that party must do what they say"
''But, do you think, If they nom
mate Grant for President, . that
Grant will consent to have darkey
on the same ticket as Weep I;.y
Don't think anything about,it,
sar. Grant only counts one. tits
not for Grant, or any other man, to
dictate to the people. We are; the
people. Grant is but one of our SER
veants sar. If he doesn't like bis
company, let him resign. Plenty of
others, sar, ready to take his place;
plenty of others, sar.
''But even if they nominate dar-
key for Vice President, what good
will it do your race ?" sg' -''
"Don't talk foolish, child. It
will do us a heap of good. In the
fust place, it will make a colored
man presiding officer of the Senate,
and then, as the President may die,
he may be President of the United
States. That's my plan of recon
struction, sar; and until it is adopted
and made successful, sar, the Union
will never be restored, and the. coun-
try will never have peace "1
There were other queries aboutto
be submitted to the distinguished
man and brother, but just at this
moment Rev. DR.. Cheever came
along, and after introducing Fred.
to blushing damsel (who was hang
ing lovingly on his arm) the whole
party vanished in the direction ofthe
Office of the Anti-Slavery Standard.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1867-08-23
Ehe Josh Billings Paper.
JOSH BILLINGS CLOSES OUT HI!
SMALL WARES.


SMALL WARES.
If yu want tew buy repentcnce
at the highest market price invest
in tite boots.
l had rather be a receiver of sto- :
len goods than the keeper oy other
folks sekrets.
Everybody ought tcw be obliged
tew write his own epitaf, and then
if he filled the bill while livin, have
his tombstun indorscd with it after
he waz dead.
New York IL red hot awl the time
for the latest news. If Ball &
Black should suspend, not business,
but pig s tail in one Of their show
windows, at least fifty thousand
would gaze at it the first day, and
long for one of the BRUSSELS tew car
ry home and show to their wives.
Rats originally cum from Nor
way. I suppose this accounts for
the FASHION to knaw away so much.
l never knew very handsum wo-
man engaged in the 'womans rights
business-they kan play the kards
they alrcddy hold to better adyant-
age. .
True happiness seems tew consist
in being filled with wants and pas
sions on milk diet. Instinct tells
the animals how to supply their
wants, aud that iz all that reazon
kan do for humans. When day
breaks the assets ar alwus Ii ght.
After awl the philosophy l kan
kram up l sometimes git disgusted
with life--it seems tew be but an
uncertain vicktory over base pas
sions that even a mule don't have.
Men are perfektly delighted in be-
ing cheated until they discover the
way the thing iz did, and then they
are disgusted, not with the fraud,
but the loss of novelty. .5.
1t is kurious fackt that with
the world full Nv pleasure, our prin-
cipal enjoyment iz in hope.
Thare il only one modification
(that L kan remember now) in be-
ing ritch, and that il you are fiat
tered before yure face and abused
behind it. .. ,a. .... ..fa
hav alwus konsidered abstract
dogs a good thing, but | never
could appreciate the utter necessity
ov keeping a wood-cock dog in a
thickly settled City exclusively on
porterhouse steak, when there want
live wood, cock in $50 miles ov
me; but there IL plenty of folks who
kan, which shows how little know.
I am loudly in favor ofnew things
but l am opposed to eny man, even
one ov our colored associates, think
ing he haz discovered a new truth
list bekause he haz, for the fust
time in biz life, stumbled onto an
old one. 'a. ass lbs
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1867-08-23

less our judgment and consciences
approve the result as right. Let us
stand by our constitution, which we
believe to right, and maintain our
form of government which we have
found to be benefcent. Let us ac-
cept no result as final which accom-
plishes their overthrow. Let us be
unwearied in this contest, and Z
believe we shall save our institu-
tions to bless our children even as
they have blessed our fathers.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1867-08-23

An exchange says: GAS farmers
are Obliged to take greenbacks for
wheat, corn, oats, and pork, why
can not bond holders take greenl
backs for their bonds? This inqui-
ry it would probably puzzle the
privileged class to answer. Is-a
bond more valuable or sacred than
any necessary of life? We cannot
understand why distinction should
be made, and would feel obliged for
some lucid explanation on this sub
lect. 9a- az -nsl
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1867-08-23

Among the cooperative move
ments lately reported is furniture
store at Cincinnati, which has a
capital of 81, 100000 and employs
600 men most of whom are share
holders. There are no other move
ments Of Importance reported
among the working people just at
present, excepting those connected
with cooperation.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1867-08-23

OF all mean things of the day,
the Conservatives, as they call
themselves, are to most miserable.
The MongreIs, whom they call
''Radicals,' believe that God has
made a mistake in creating them
superior to negroes, and they are
at work to correct this supposed
blunder and 'reconstruct" them
selves on basis of impartial free
DOM The Conservative does not
believe that the Creator has made
any mistake in the matter, but he
accepts the situation,' and thinks
that the works of God are really
"abolished," +" and the "reform'' Of
the "Radicals" certain to stick.
Nevertheless, these miserable peo-
pie call themselves Conservatives.
What do they expect to conserve?
Certainly not the work Of God,
when they accept it's abolition as
FAIr AcoMpLI. If negroes are
hereafter to be the equals of white
men, why the thing is done-the
Creator is nowhere-the 'sreform is
complete-and yet those wretched
fools call themselves Conservatives,
forSOOth
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1867-08-23

The Attorney General has asked
General Sickles to explain his in
reference with a process of Chief
Justice Chase's Court, but King
Dan voucbsafes no answer. PER-
haps the Chase Radicals like .'tho
situation!' ay aat.ytcsyss ~
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1867-08-23

The Chicago Tribune, Radical
blue light, says the liquor and Sun
day questions will smash the Re-
publican machine out West.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1867-08-23
For Sale or Exchange.

NOUR hundred and twenty acres of
IL good farming land, in Mitchell Co.
Iowa, three, quarters Of mile from
Brownville. Also a house and lot in New
Oregon, Howard Co. Iowa.
Apply to H. A Goodrich, at Office of
Goodrich & Mead, Cresco, Iowa. (n3S
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1867-08-23
AND. HOUSE OF MERCY.

- ~ AND HOUSE OF MERCY. - 4"
Howard Association Reports, for YOUNG
MEN, on the CRIME OF SOLITUDE and
the ERRORS, ABUSES and DISEASES
which destroy the manly powers, and Gre
ate impediments to MARRIAGE, with sure
means Of relief. Sent in sealed letter en-
velopes, free of charge Address, DR.. j.
SKILLEN iHOUGHTON, Howard Assooi-
alton, Philadelphia Pa. ,'hs ogg25-vs
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1867-08-23

VINO IS A GENTLEMAN "A gen
tleman is not merely a person ac-
quainted. with certain forms and ct,
lquette of life, easy and self-posscss.
ed in society, able to speak, and act,
and move in the world without awk-
wardness, and free from habits which
are vulgar and in bad taste. a
gentleman is something beyond all
this; that which lies at the root OF
all ease, and refinement, and tact,
is power of plcasing-how can be
show respect for others-how he may
avoid hurting their feelings. When
he is in society, he scrupulous)y as.
certains the position and relation
of every one with whom he comes in
contact, that he may give to eacf
his due honor, his proper position.
He studies how he may avoid touch.
ing in conversation upon any subject
which may ncedlessly hurt theil
feelings, how he may abstain from
any allusion which calls up disa.
greeable or offensive association. A
gentleman never alludes to or appears
conscious of any personal defect,
bodily deformity, inferiority of tai
cnt, ofrank, of reputation, in the
persons in whose society he is placed.
He never assumes any superiority
for self-.he never ridicules, new
er boasts, never makes a display Of
his power, or advantage, such as is
implied in ridicule, or sarcasm, OF
abuse, as he never INDUCES in hab.
it's, or tricks, or inclinations, which
may be offensive to others.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1867-08-23
Stanton Kicked Out.

LAUs DEo! johnson has done
one good thing. He has kicked
Stanton out of the Cabinet. He
would not 90 out until he was kick
ed out. In this respect we fear he
represents the Mongrel party. 1t
is doubtful whether they will give
up power until compelled to. Ml.
johnson asked Mr.. Stanton to re-
sign, when he sent a most insulting
letter, telling him he would not,
whereupon Mr.. johnson suspended
him, and made Gen. Grant acting
Secretary Of War. We would fond
ly hope that the linch-pin being
knocked out, the whole wagon will
fail to pieces. There has been a
curious influence surrounding Mr..
johnson which no theory has been
able to unravel. Why he should
retain Stanton, who has opposed
him at every step, and why Seward
should be the defender and support
er of Stanton, though pretending
to differ from him, and support the
President, all these are curious
facts, and difficult to be understood
by outsiders.
Would that Andrew Johnson
would rise like giant refreshed,
and hurl the enemies of our country
to perdition. All he has to do is,
simply TO OBEY HIS OATH OF OF
FICE. He is Commander-in-C Chief
of the army. Let him withdraw it
at once from the southern States
and send it to Gen. Sherman to
protect our western settlers Let
him administer the government on
the Constitution, pure and simple,
and pay no attention whatever to
the so-called laws Of Congress, that
presume to wipe out States. Is lie
TO TURN TRAITOR BECAUSE CONGRESS
HAS? That is the question for him
to ask himself, and answer if he
can. With one grand effort now
he could right the ship of State.
Let him put Seward III the same
boat with his friend Stanton, and
get rid at once and forever of the
whole gang of plotters, conspira-
tors, and architects of ruin, who
have dragged the country into its
present abyss Of woe. Day Book.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1867-08-23
stanton and the LAW.

The clause of the law upon which
president johnson acted in dismiss
ing Stanton is as follows; - T."
That when any officer appointed
as aforesaid, excepting judges of
the United States courts, shall,
during a recess Of the senate be
shown by evidence satisfactor ory to
the president to be guilty ofmiscoh =
duct in office, or crime, or for any
reason shall become incapable or
legally. disqualified to perform its
duties, in such case, and in no 9TH
er, the president may suspend such
officer and designate some suitable
person to perform temporarily the
duties of such office until the next
meeting of the senate, and,until the
case shall be acted upon by tho sem
ate, etc. ..'5 '.. - .ya
That Stanton has been guilty Of
''misconduct in Office of the gros-
scst character the president and
every one else of common iutelli-
gence and patriotic instincts must
be fully satisfied. 1t will probably
be quite unnecessary for the senate
to call for proofs. The president
will volunteer them. .rr' n.. --dN
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1867-08-23

TAKENo MORE UNPLEASANT AND UNSAFE
REMEDIES for unpleasant and dangerous
diseases. Use HELMBoLD's EXTRACT BU-
CHu AND IMPROVED ROSE WASH.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1867-08-23
WILLIAM EDWARDS,

WILLIAM EDWARDS,
Would respectfully announce that he is
prepared to give his attention to
MAKING & REPAIRING WAGONS,
at Cresco, Iowa, and all work of his trade
!, rPlows constantly on hand of the best
patterns, cheap for cash. I'D i- w
FIVE TOOTHEDc CULTIVATORS, sc
pa- Shop south Of the Empire House.
rCresco, April "a, 1867. y.r [a3tf:
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1867-08-23
ARTIFICIAL LEGS.

Two LEGS in one-you can take off the Foot and
put on Stub. All want. send for a Pamphlet
j. W. WATSON, PArENTEE, 706 Broadway, N. Y.
The Iowa plain dealer. [volume] (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1867-1895, 1867-08-23
MEAD & BROWN.
HOUSE.
CREsCo Iowa.

This house is eligibly situated to busi-
ness, near the Depot of the McGregor
Western Railway. BY giving strict atten-
ton to the wants of the travelling public,
they hope to merit the confidence and re-
ceive share ofpublic patronage. n3O
Nashville union and dispatch. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1866-1868, 1867-05-19
Presbyterian General AssembI,

ROCHESTER, May 1S.-In the Presbyte-
rian General Assembly to-day, the COM
mittee on the union of the two bodies OF
the church, reported at considerable length
after consultation of several days, which
was conducted in the kindest spirit. The
terms of reunion and the preamble sets
forth the advantages of sessions, as greatly
augmenting the strength of the church, and
the conditions are that the doctrinal and
ecclesiastical basis of common standards OF
the two churches, and confession of faith
shall continue as before. The discipline OF
all ministers and churches in the two
bodies are to have the same standing in the
united body, and all churches not
thoroughly Presbyterian, who are in the
organization, shall be advised to perfect
their organization and no other.
Official records of the two branches shall
be preserved, and held az the history OF
the church, and no rule or precedent not
recognized by both parties, shall be ae-
cepted till accepted by the united body.
Corporal rights are to be consolidated
There shall be no single laws for church
enterprises. These terms are to be ratified
by three-fourths of the presbyteries of each
branch. The terms are to be published
and reports made to the General Assem-
blies in 1868. -
Theological assemblies may, if they de-
sire, put themselves under synodical con-
troll
Hon. Daniel Hayes, Hon. II. w. Greene
DR.. Theodore w. Dwight, Hon. w. Strong
and Hon. Geo. Sharswoods, are recon.
mended as the committee to investigate the
question Of property invested in rights
to report next January. The report was
referred, after some discussion, to the COM
mittee of nine, to report to the Assembly
next Wednesday.
Nashville union and dispatch. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1866-1868, 1867-05-19
THE IMPEACHMENT TRIAL AND
THE PRESS.

The prosecutors of Judge Frazier, in
the extraordinary method they have
chosen to conduct the trial lay great
stress upon what they are pleased to term
the tone and spirit of the Nashville press
during the period embraced by the events
under investigation This mode of OBJ
tanning or manufacturing testimony is,
to say the very least, a shabby and illegal
mode Of getting at the fact sought to be
established 1t is discreditable to the
gentlemen who have undertaken to con-
duct the prosecution of Judge Frazier
insulting 10 the intelligence of the Court
which is to render the decision, and
wholly unfair toward the press, to say no
thing of the party on trial If the object
be to arrive at the truth, why not
summon the editors, who wrote for the
press at that time, as witnesses. They
are all still here, and their presence can
be had at a few minutes notice. If that
would not do, the files of the papers are
here, and afford the best evidence them
selves of what was published There is
not word, line, sentence, paragraph or
article, that appeared at that time, which
cannot be produced as it was written and
published These files are at the service
Of the Court of impeachment Why,
then, this attempt to establish by oral
statements the loose, vague and imperfect
impressions of the casual or constant
readers of daily morning newspapers, for
the proof of matters that are as certain
and easily established by written record,
as the title to any piece of real estate
here or elsewhere
We have heretofore RETAINED from Of
fering any comment upon the extraordi-
nary mode of conducting the pending
Impeachment We now mean no disre.
spect to the Court, and intend no inter>
ference with the proper progress Of the
trial But when the tone, and temper
of the public press-of which we as a
party are directly arraigned-are sought
to be established in a manner which has
no parallel in the juridical annals of
this, or any other country, we claim the
right, in our own behalf, to protest, and
do protest decidedly, and warmly. In
doing so we wish it distinctly understood
that we disclaim all connection with the
trial, and do not appear as the counsel
or assistant counsel of Judge Frazier
We have not consulted them or any one
else We only speak of it as a matter that
concerns ourselves, and the record which
we may make from day to day. We are
unwilling to submit to misconcep-
ton and injustice of this kind in a
matter, with which we have no concern
outside of the general public, and in
which we have no voice, and seek none.
Nashville union and dispatch. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1866-1868, 1867-05-19

A Pass BANoUET-At Richmond, on
Monday evening last, the editorial corps
of that city gave an entertainment to the
representatives of the press congregated
there in anticipation of the trial Of Mr.
Davis. The seat Of honor at the head Of
the table was filed by Horace Greeley.
There was present, also, Geo. A Town
send, Of the New York Tribune Ben
Perley Poore Of the Boston Journal
OConner of the New York Herald, Crap,
sey Of the New York Times, and Wash
ington of the National iHtelbgencer.
Wit, wine, eloquence, song and good feel.
ing prevailed MIR Greeley declined ia
partake of the supper, as il was his GUS
tom never 10 eat at that hour but made
an appropriate response to the toast A
reunited North and South Mr., Gree
ley was observed to wear a black SLOUGH
hat, and to a remar from the spokesman
Of the Richmond Times that he was ex-
cepted to appear in the renowned white
hat he replied that be had never owned
but one white hat in his life The Tn
buRs philosopher was quite easy and
communicative, and RECALLED those near
him with number Of jokes upon him
self He said that on one occasion, while
walking along the streets Of New York,
he heard one Irishman say to another,
There's Greeley Tut saws the
other, that cant be, for Greeleys a
naigurl
Nashville union and dispatch. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1866-1868, 1867-05-19
MIR. ETHERIDGE AND THE CRAKGE
OF sEDITEON


The only notice vet received Of the
tenor of the speeches of Mr. Etheridge,
delivered during the past week, says :
I" Mr.. Etheridge repeatedly cOunselled
in strong terms, strict observance of
every law, however hard and unjust and
oppressive" Yet this is the man who is
being held up as the apostle of sedition,
and as Peter the Hermit preaching a
crusade for the overthrow of the State
Government This is the man who is to
confront the bayonets of the loyal
militia whenever he dares to speak, and
at whose heels the watch-dOgs of the
oligarchy are baying loud and deep
Themselves the contemners of law and
the meters Of violence, the Radicals at
tempt to drown in clamOr against Mr.
Etheridge and his friends, the ex-
posture Of their crimes against popular
liberty. They have disgraced the
statute book with laws as odious and in
iquitous as the code of Draco. Conscious
of the tyrannical purpose for which they
were enacted, their fears anticipate re-
sistanee from spirited people, who have
not forgotten that they once were free.
They start like guilty things when the
neople begin To move But the resnect.
ers of law and order have nothing to fear
from the Conservative party led by Mr..
Etheridge. 1t is their intention to reform
the State administration-to make il
honest, economical, just, republican and
respectable. They contemplate nothing
radical or destructive. We are rejoiced
that Mr.. Etheridge has spoken so clearly
on this point, as it will serve to refute
some of the ISLANDERS that are abroad