The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1867-10-05

POllak wuz delited Here said ne. . : il Is
in a nut shell. Issaker has a shorter hand. a
more naTrer hand, a shorter and narrerer foot.
and his heel prOjecks les than the ~nigger's by
- inches. Good Lord, how l hev bin de.eeyet !
Wat errors | hev bin nussin, How kin a human
being hev intellek whose heel projecks four
inches? How rejoict / am that ! am at last set
right on these important pints!"
/ smiled ~benignantly onto him.
Bigler riz.
IL, too sed he, am satisfied that the Mig
ger l. not wat We, who wuz disposed 10 consider
him fit TO exercise rites, supposed him to be. L
held firm when the measurement Nv his hands
and arms wuz being made, but the heel staggen-
ell me. IL is clear that no one kin hev intellek
whose leg isn't set in his foot better than that. 1
shell pursOO this inyesti-ashen. Heyin now 4
startin pint-a heel, ez may cay, 70 stand on-
| shell 20 on 10 prove the infeTiOrity Of the mig
ger. With that heel FOR a fulcrum, 1 shell, with
the lever Nv trOOth, proceed - upset the fabric NV
niger ekally and carry confooshen into Boston.
| shell! assoJm that Napoleon l. an average speci-
men Of the lower or intellectOol African type. Ii
Is sou
at is,'' yelled we all. delited at the happy
turn the thing wuz takin.
Il shell also assoom that I.saker Gayitt is a
avrage Nv the higher or intellectool Caucashen
tyTe. l. il so?"
.-Certinly, eertinlyi"
Very well. Now quake, Massachusetts. Ma
poleOn, kin VOC read?''
saw the trap into witch we he'd fallen, and
risin hastily protested that the examinashen he'd
bin carried far enuff. and - did Deekin Pogram.
but Bisler syEore he WIZ agoin 10 kiyer NasachOo-
sets with shame. and st down paraiy1ed.
kin VOC read, Napoleon?'
YES saht'
Read this, then" said Bigler, handin him a
noo-cpaper.
The niger read it q pert ez a Moo England
sEcoi marin, witch well he mite, ez he learned it
from one Nv EN-.
.. Kin ~, uri-a9"'
..Certinly.' and takin a pencil lie writ half Nv
the Declarashen w Independence.
"St down, Napoleon. lt's q deyilish pity
heels j, - long; otherwise yood be credited
with hevin intelleck. Now Issaker, my bold
Caucashen, kin VOC readf'
Il protest" shreekei /, in agony. "Issaker.
don't answer the skofier at ethnOlOgyi'
But Iseaker, ez white II n sheet and tremhlin
under the eye Nv Bigler. who knowed him from
infancy. suffered out. mo"
Kin WOO rite, my gay dereendent Nv the 500
rerior nce?'
Aud. sin under the inaooenoe NV Bigler's eye,
be answered No"
kin yoo cipher?"
What in thuDier's the yoose w ciphering
the old man alluE KEEP a niger 70 do his
..Set down. Issaker. We've dun with you.
There's an error sumwher. The ni-gers capass-
" NV skul J. less by sevral cubic inches. but he
Gems 70 tev used wat he hez lively. But its all
Parson. Isaker shel vote and the niger
Reeiin and writin never wUz a q~ualInca-
for yOtin down here, any way. Possibly the
eat Nv the intellck ! in the heel inStet Nv the
rain. wich accounts for the myers keyin the
no-t Nv IL"
And Pollock and Bigler and benicgers present
eft the mee;In house. lafin uPrcarousiy and
hr1yvin al -orts Nv adoos hack q W..
| doubt whether the result w the i~nveSti.ashen
viii help our friends North. The fact i il wuz
verdore. l. wuz carried too fur. There l. a J
int AZ witch facts ought 70 stop-Dimokratic
rartiEslsr. In this instance the investi-a- Z