The weekly North-Carolina standard. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 186?-1869, 1867-01-30
&, - sat iPs For the Standard.
Letter nom Jacob Turnabopt.

fe-z SLEEPY BOTTOM, Jan. IA lo0l.
DEER BRuTl.RR PELL: Sence nit to you
jest too days ago, which wuz SATURDAY you
know, ! am very much Of changed man in
my feelins and opinyuns. But will jest
give you the whole history of affares.
Nothavin had time to reed the Scentanat
you sent as / .orter hav dun, l went over to
class-meetin Sundy evenin as nit you Iwuz
gwine to do, and handid it to bruther Jones,
the class-leeder, askin him eff he pleased to
take up CONSUMPTION fur it, our church pa
per bruther Pell wuz editur. Surtinly sed
he, after the meetin is over. Show enuff at
ter the meetin bruther Jones, asked the mem
burs to stop little and heer him reed sum OF
bruther Pell's church paper. No sooner wuz
your name menshuned than every body was
all ankshus to heer it. And then is when l
mist it. 1t makes me so mad to think about
it that eff it haddent bin, SO long sence |
cussed any think would do it (kase you
know zoe don't believe its no !larm no how
Eff had Jest sed bruther Pell is Edditur and
no more, they would all have conscribed at
once But to 90 on, bruther Jones he opened
it and red few lines. Why SEE he bruther
Turnabout this haint no church paper, sure
bruthcr Pell cant be the Edditur. This is a
rale perlitikal kunsarn, and haint tit to be red
by kristians on Sundy. Why SEE bruther
Jones you is surtinly mistaken, fur bruther
Pell sent it to me to git up consumption,
and sed lie wuz Edditur, tho haint red it
none. Well, well sed he, eff here amt bruther
PelIs name shore enuff- lis stopped preech-
in, and wuss, he is turned perlitikal Edditur.
Then he is fell frum erase sed old bruther
Landmark, and is jist as bad as Judus, and
like him, and all other traters ort to be hung
No he haint fell frum no erase sed old bruth-
er Findhimout, TO, he never had no erase to
fall frum. He lisa rale hipperkrit, a wolf in
gotes' skin, as the Scripter SEE, gwine about
seekin whom he may dewour. Yes, SEE
young Jack Fisticuf, and when he kums
down here any more with his sharp sarmints
at us boys about horse-racin and the like,
when he is all the time no better than we is
ridin his perlitikal hobbys and tryin to
race it on 'em, we will see he gifts his jest dis
sarts, as old Squire Bighead used to say
SEE /, bee quiet, brethren, it is true bruther
Pell is lost his religin and turned psrlitikal
Edditur, but then, mind you he is a true loyal
man yit, and maybe jest turned Edditur to
fire away at Wanse and G-ayhum and them
other traters to the South who woulddent be
satisfied with nuthin but the blood of our
sons. Now eft he is only blackslid and is
loyal yit, we will jest kummend him over 10
the tender MARCHES of Satan and say no more
about it. This is free kuntry you know
So you are takin up for the old hypperkrit
then is you bruther Turnabout, SEE old sister
Holdfast ? You haint no better than he is.
He shant never stay at my house no more,
squeaked old sister Simmons. l mean to go
rite strait and be kristened over agin said lit
tie Jimmy Jones, and will git married over
agin sed, sister Crushuns, and eff could 1
would have every SIGH preacher run out ofthe
State, cummin and margin folks when he
hant fit. And all my children, said sister
Straitforward-well sez |, eff the wimmin is
pitched in, 1 had better be gwine. So TUX my
hat and left the meetin house.
AsI KUN along, meditatin on how strange
things wurz kun to pass, who should meet
but old bruther Waterspout. SEE he, good
evenin brother Turnabout and what is the
muse SEE l, brother Waterspout, did you
know bruther Pell had backslid, fell frum
erase and turned perlitikal Edolitur. No
sed he, but bruther Turnabout, there haint
no harm in that Good evenin. SEE l to
myself then eff there haint no harm in Rev.
w. E. Pell of the n C. Confurrens comm
out uf the pulpit, tralin the pure westmints
of the gospil minister in the pollerticks of
these excitin times, spendin his days and
mites and Sundays too in studyin up new
plans to hurt mems reputation that is purer
than he is, misleadin sinners and tryin to
fire their hearts, when so many preshus souls
is sinkin down. then there haint no religun,
and wont be playin the fule no longer.
And ever sense then, bruther Pell, have
bin gittin wuss until have KUN to the kon-
klusion kin konsienshusly go on and jine
you in edith a perlitikal paper. So you
may look fur me next Sundy eyenin at your
house, where we will make the bargin and
agree upon the turns, and fix up our pro-
gram how we kin pile it on them traters that
woulddent let US have peace, until our suns
was all killed, our wimmin in sorrow and our
little children begin bread and CROWN up
in iddleness
Your old trend and perlitikal bruther,
JACOB TURNABOUT.