The Portland daily press., 1867-07-08
Varieties.

-Forney's Press has the following anienra
large number of extracts from what it calls
the acknowledgements" papers: "The South
is on her Golgotha; the cross is erected, and
the lance is ready which will pierce her quiv-
ering flank"
"A woman recently testified in a Chicago
court that for thirteen years her husband has
every day quarrelled with and beaten her, Of
- in a most cruel manner, and that during
the whoie period siro has been in daily fear of
her life. 7-
-"This tough steak makes me think of a
famous old English poet.' That's queer.
What poet does it make you think Of"
"Caucer." t....., .-.,.r...., .tr.+ ..
The longest train of cars that ever passed
over any railroad is said by the Easton (Pa.)
Argus to have recently passed over the Lehigh
Valley railroad. 1t consisted of 275 loaded
cars, averaging six tuns each, making 1,G50
tuns in all. The train extended / $50 feet-ov-
er two-thirds OF mile. .. ....
An afflicted editor, who is troubled with
hand-organs under his window, longs for the
9evil days" mentioned in Ecclesiastes, when
"the grinders shall cease because they are
few" and "the sound of the grinding" shall be
slow" ... ..
"A complaint is made by somebody that
such is the rage for base ball and cricket,
matters in our colleges have all been at "sixes
and sevens." "Nines and elevens" seems to
the Boston Advertiser more appropriate way
OF putting the figures.
The Paris Punch has some caricatures of
the Yankees in Paris. The best represents
one in private box at the Chamber of depu-
ties, who says to the janitor: 81 mean to see
everything during the exhibition. Here are
$50; just hire Mr.. Theirs to make speech,
now, while sit here"
Dryden, ON the night that one of his plays
was damned, was taking his walk from the
theatre, when he was met by coxcomb ac-
quaintance, who said: "What, Dryden, my
boy! upon my soul feel for you. Can there
be anything more shocking to poets feelings
than damned play?" Eyes, sir a damned
fool, replied the poet. aa -.-., ~
The great secret of success in business is
to get "the ring of the true metal-Printer's
Zinc"
The London Court Journal of June 18th
says: "On Friday last, at st. Peters Maid
stone, the congregation, consisting of two la
dies only, the curate commenced with Dearly
beloved sisters" ...- -..t
Assuming that women will soon under
take to man age everything, one of the fair sex
says: Let us hope that when that is the case,
they will succeed better than the men have
donei' ""
"A rather funny case came before a Justice
at Milwaukee the other day. A young woman
who had accepted the attentions and eivilities
OF a gentleman for some time, at length was
married to somebody else, to whom she had
been privately engaged at the time she ac-
cepted his services. Whereupon the deceived
individual sued for a bill of $1O4 %, the
amount he had paid in her behalf in taking
her to concerts, operas, picnics rides and lee
cream saloons. As an offset he credited her
with sundry kisses valued at Sl6 67 1-2, several
squeezes OF the SAME, So 81 1-2, an unreturnsd
photograph and ring, making total of S3T.-
70. He recovered the bill, the judge allowing
the plaintiff the kisses at his own valuation.
The case is to be carried up, and there prom
ses to be much conflicting testimony as to the
value of the Milwaukee girls kisses.
A North Carolina paper-the Old North
Siote-tells that in Salem. Forsyth county, a
| trade amount ing to the almost incredible sum
of s6O 600 was done last year in blackber-
ries.
1t is estimated that the wheat now
harvesting in Cherokee, Gorgia, will yield
enough for the whole state. In quality it is
very fine, grain large and heavy. The yield OF
Cass county alone is estimated at million OF
bushels
Every one has heard of the bothered de-
fendent, who on being acquitted of the charge
of stealing quantity of pork, breathlcssly ask
cd his lawyer, "What shall L do with the
Pork?" The New Bedford Mercury hears OF
lawyer in that city who recently defended
culprit charged with the larceny of watch,
eloquently argued his clients entire innocence,
but failed to convince the jury, who brought
in verdict of guilty. Thereupon the advo-
cate turned to a policeman, and handing hima
package, imploringly said, For Heavens sake
take this stolen watch. had it in my pocket
when addressed the jury, and it was as heavy
| as lead" a,.
| The Californians who are working through
their Summit Tunnel in the Sierra, have &C.
| complished a thousand feet of the $50 since
last September. They not only began at both
sides, bnt sunk shaft in the middle and
worked both ways from that.