The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1867-05-24
!: NUMBER %.
SPARE LINES,

He that strikes with his tongue must
guard with his hands. go
800 It is sclf.conceit that makes opinion OBJ
stinate.
The best throw at dce IS 70 throw them
away. ~ ..,a-....,r......'
To learn tho ralue Of money, try to bor-
tow. 10 b. aE" %
lf you wisl, to nun for Congress, run
nlong-you COULDN'T run down hill faster.
A pcdant said to an old farmer. hc could
not bear a fool, who replied, "Your mother
could" '" No
Whipping in public schools Is likely to
como to an end. Tho boys say it always
came there. '' ........'
/ a tender.hearcd railway engineer says
lie never runs over. a man when no can
help It. because "it muses. up the track
so" ..,... ....
A person asked an Irishman why no
wore his stockings wrong side outward.
"I'ccause." said he. ,"etherc's hole OIL tho
other SIDE" '.,.,..,.,..r ....,...l
A true picture Of despair is zig roach
ing through n, hole 10, tho fence to get
cabbage ths, lies few inches beyond his
reach. d.. ..,,,. ,,,.,,,.....,.f..r .tr.a. .H.
A crlsty old bachelor says that Adams
wife Was called Eve because, when she aP-
I'eared, man s day Of happiness was draw
ing TO close. irr .''lorf a. r...' al
Two young ladies' holding converse over
the virtues ofa new dress. one asked sAnd
.Ioes Il ft well7" "Fm7 Yes; ss II I'D
ieeh melted and poured in! ar-t'H 4"
A lady took her little boy to church for
The first time. Upon hearing the organ he
was on his feet instnnter. '"Sit down."
sad the mother. 81 won't," he shouted,
~ want to see the monkey"
.Look here, boy" said nervou, gen.le-
,nan to an urchin who was munching can.
.ly at lecture, "you are annoying me very
much" "No aint neither" said the ur-
chin, "l'm gnawing this ere candy."r
(, "SIy dear" said husband to his afisc-
tomato better.half, after little squabble,
''you'll certainly never DO permitted to 20
10 heaven, ,aNhy not?'' "Becnuse you
will be wanted as torrnentor below"
The skipper Of sloop set Pat to steer
Ivy the North star, while no took a nap.
But "a cloud intcrvened, and the wind tum-
cd the vessel around, so that when the star
,rappeared II was behind her, awake up,
and give mo something else to steer by, for
I'm past that /" ." .H.' OBJ. ~ '.
"1Pu," said little Charlie to his pa,cnal
ancestor, holding up Sunday School pic.
lure hook, "what is tha,'" '. "
"Thut, my SON. Jacob wrestling with
nm angel" h'' .''' ' ''
""And which licked - innoccntly in.
quired the young hopeful. '.'
Post office clerks occasionally get of a
iunny thing. A clerk in our post Office
=. =
.e"'' u 'r :" ~ "o nIo" y, @
.epa'''''"'' "",' "''o ~ '''' ~ "'
.u' a n,"" 'y W" ',"'''e % =, ~ D''",.
Drake' s''a Tue e'e,s, ,. "". YOU p'.'' go
10 '.e o''e' ''"' ' - "P S''P'' WV "
ducks" ,..,...t..'r 4.....
The Buffalo Commercial tells tho story,
of man from, the country. who called at
n hardware store in that city. and aNer boz
ing shown large assortment Of scissors.
turned to the clerk, remnrk'ns' "my w'ies
putty sick, an It's bout an even 'h'ns u
she gets any better; guess II wait and SEQ
if she gets we'll fore ibuy any scissors
The excitement Of, salInon.fshins may
ls judged from tho feeling. Of tho Scot
mentioned by Mr.. ,Fmncis.a a recent Eng.
Ish pisca,orial writer. The fisherman,
whils playing /. magnificent, game salmon.
was upprised that his wife. in tho cottage
l,ard by, was dying. 'Ah. mon, ye diDna
say 20. Rim hack md tell her to hing on,
tlli I've killed the flush" ''' .'' .'
aThi., Gro hanin,al, my little dears, OBJ
served tho keeper ofa menascrie' to a
school, ais leopard. Ills complexion 70
waller, and agrecably diversified with
ilack .po,s. Itvos wulgas herror ftbe
I,.uc;.n,s ,bs, the crit,cr yos hincapabIa .or
rhanrin' hi.spo,., which was di.proved In
'"""s" H.,. -.