The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1867-11-23
Our All Snrts.

u n woman does keep secret. Il is pretty
sure to lie with telling effect.
Second childhood rarely attacks man,
however agc,l. whose mind has been vigor-
onsly and habituaIly kept in activity during
his life.
Some one who Processes to know says
that no one ever knew very handsome
woman engaged in tho @won,an's rights"
business :, they eau play the cards they al.
ready holdio better advantage.
Some one tells story Of n Steamboat
passenger watching revolving light Of n
lighthouse on the coast. and exclaiming.
'.t;osl, the wind blows that light out us
ia-t the man can strike it,"
The following scene is laid in frs, class
hotel: Tfar,ler.-I desire to DO called at six
o'clock. Clark with gold chain)-lf you
viii ring the bell nj that hour one Of the
boys will attend to your case.
\ couniryman, going to market with
load ut pork. was met by young girl who
made him u low courtesy, when he cSclaim-
eel, "Whai! do YOU make courtesy to
dead hogsT "No, SIR" answered the girl,
Ito live one"
As evidence Of the low state Of the water
in the Arkansas River above Fort Smith. the
Herald Of that place says q drove Of cows
stopping to drink. drank il in two, and we
presume went across dry shod as the Israeli
ties through the Red Sea.
One of the mos, original Of juvenile in.
vcntlons was that Of little Fanny, who, in
stead Of saving her prayers at night. spread
out her alphabet on the bed, AMI raising her
eyes to heaven. said ~, Lord here are the
letters /: arrange them to suit yourself"
One of our exchanges says: "Brea,hes
there a innn with soul so dead, who never
To himself hath said, will my local paper
take. both iar INV own and iamily's sake?
lfsnch there h., let him repent. aud have the
paper to him sent, and ir he'd pass happy
winter, he in advance should pay the print
cr."
."whut 10 you call this ?" said Mr.. John
Smith gently tapping his breakfast with his
fork. .Cali it?" snarlcd his lan,llaly,
"what do you call it, swell, really,"
said Smith, rejecting, 81 don't know {;
there is hardly hair enough in il for mortar,
hut there Is entirely too much If j, is intend
ell for hssh w
Mr.. 8. ID. lngham. Ripley, Ohio. after
tormenting his horse to madness with the
various prescriptions Of horse doctors for
the cure of fistula, rcsorted to cold water
which was poured from watering.pot up
on the sore. and complete cure was cf.
ircicd in five weeks, from two daily appli-
cations.
Little Ella is about four years old. One
,lay she committed an act Of disobe,iencc,
and her mother, in correcting her. spoke in
no gentle tone Of voice the child threw her
anus around her mothers neck, and cx-
claimed. ''Dcar mamma, pray forgive me
~ hal known how peevish il would have
made you, I wouldn't have done So"
A few weeks since man approached
the rope To which is attached the balloon
in which everybody in Paris is making as
tensions. lie drew knife, when the Ut
ten,lant asked him his intention. "My
Wife" he replied, "is up in the balloon, and
III give a hundred francs tor the privilege
OF cutting the rope" The offer Of the
monster was reiused.
A Young lady, name unknown, has been
writin. in Frczrs Magazine very pleasant
lines about New York young ladies'. She
saws .thcir faces nrc ~ charming. l never
could come To America and return unTinr-
rie,l, if I were man. Such sweet, delicate,
refined little faces. and slcl, lovely dark
eyes," And then she adds: "rhc people
all look so independent; even the heggars
Just carelcssly request money, aud then go
away Instantly"
Count nc Il was sitting at the table
hy the Duchess of -. u lat old lady,
whose napkin kept constantly sliding from
her lap u the nOor. Her polite neighbour rs
often picked it up and returned il to her, till
finally weary Of tho hopelessness Of his
task. h. s,id. in his mast courteous manner
"Wouldn't i. Ia better, madam, Tor me to
s,t under the table, - that ] could hand
Your napkin up Ia YOU morr rcadilyT Tho
proposition was q happy one, but We doubt
whether il was accepted.
\ lcllmakrr cnicavorins tn sell large
g,nI. To "a Quaker gentleman, remarked
that il woill he useful ia the country, for
IL would not only serve ~ a dinner-bell,
bu w"il also, in ease of an attempt tn
hr'ak into the house, enable the inmates tn
give AN alarm Ia the surrounding neighhor-
hm-l. "fricn'l, replied the Quaker gen
ilr,n,n. after lisicnin. aiientiyely To these
recommendations, IL will not purchase thy
gong, tor IL put il Ia both these uses, how
should my friends distinguish between a
late dinner aud an carly burglary"