Weekly Calaveras chronicle. (Mokelumne Hill, Calaveras County, Cal.) 18??-1874, 1867-12-14
Counting.

Alter more or less extended obser-
walton of some twenty odd years, We
give it as our deliberate opinion that
good courtist, like good poet, is born,
not made. There are some young
people of both sexes that take to it as
naturally as at an earlier age they take
to kittens, doll babies, marbles and
kites They need no training. At the
proper time they fall right into line like
an old cavalry horse at the sound of the
bugle. Whether in the fashionable ball
room, the family parlor, or in that sweet
seclusion beneath the lilac bush, they
know exactly what to say to do and
what not to do; where to put their
hands, how to look the most charming
and in what particular pucker their lips
will look the most tempting. Any
where everywhere they are at case.
They are al fait in the whole art of
pleasing. Often with very limited
stock of conversational capital to deal in
they are the most entertaining of COM
panions, and again by some secret
power, manage to give eloquence and
charm to silence itself. These are the
people whom God loves, and conse-
quently they marry young. When two
of such opposite sexes cross each others
pathway they fall in love as matter of
course. Can't help it. Requires no
effort. The whole thing does itself,
like the boys whistling. It's easy as
the road-confrmed bachelors would
say Gas any other road"-to perdition.
Then there's another class-unfor-
tunate mortals commonly known as
"bashful people," who are never grace
full, never charming, never agreeable,
never at ease. If there is anything
calculated to wiring ones soul with pity
it is to see "bashful young man" try
ing to make himself agreeable to com
pany Of young ladies at an evening
party, painfully conscious all the time
that he is only making himself ridicu-
lous. He is in agony. Each pair of
eyes pierces him through, His feet
look to him like models for a new gun
boat stuck on Che ends of pair of
broomsticks. His hands remind him
of "the awful pause" of which Milton
speaks. He crosses his arms devoutly
over his stomach for moment, then
drops them by his side. Then he lays
one on the back of his chair and thrusts
the hand of the other into his pocket.
Then he puts them vice versa. He
imagines that there is spot on his face
and tries to remove it by violent ap-
plication of his pocket handkerchief.
He knows that his cravat is awry and
tries to adjust it. He imagines his hair
is all on ends and tries to smoothe it
with his clumsy fingers. Collar chokes
him his coat cuts him under the
arms his boots pinch his feet; cold
perspiration starts from his brow his
mind becomes bewildered; he makes
incoherent and inappropriate replies to
the sallies of those roguish girls who he
knows are enjoying his embarrassments,
until he profoundly wishes himself at
home and the girls in Halifax.
Such youth can never learn to be
agreeable. He can never "get the
hang" of genuine courtin', though he
lived and tried thousand years. The
girls avoid him unless it is to make
sport of him. He never gets married
unless kind providence throws some one
in his way who takes up with him out
of pity-and really its wonder he gets
through the ordeal even then.