Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1867-04-05


with faces as long and expressionless as
jackasses, for there was woe in the house of
the faithful.
Connecticut had gone for the Copper
heads. Selah
And Cleveland. SelahI
And Marysville, and GAINESVILLE, and Ere
mont, and Chillicothe, and Piqua, and
Newark, and Sandusky City. Selahi
And they did shake hands as they met,
one with another, much after the manner
of lazy boy on summer morning at
hard moving pump handle.
And with one accord they did shake their
heads slowly, now to the right, then to the
left, and did sigh and join in singing
Hark from the East doleful sound,
Sdipe ears attend the cry;
Black loving RAIDS. come view the ground
Where you must shortly lie.
Comfy (solO)-But the Union gain was 5Osl
Herk from the Nutmeg State wall.
The frisky mermaid faps her tail, @
Ss-. Aad BAFnum, gives groan.
Comfy (soIo)-But the Union gain was 5oel
In GAINESVILLE and in Cleveland. too,
Tho Butternuts arise; soa
Were ruined Quite-What can we do
81 But wipe our weeping eyesl
o6Hty tsolo)-But the Union gain was 5O6l
AS the Chairman lined out the above
hymn, which was sung to the air of
"China," the scene was very impressive.
{ Brother Locke, author of the Petroleum
v. Nasty letters, was called upon to adj
dress the brethren; but he excused him.
self on account of weakness. 81 am so
weak, my friends" he said, "that 1 have
not even strength enough to order two
drinks at the same time. The situation is
through acres of my bad spelling and worse
wit, they are refusing to vote with u.s."
''Do you mean that? asked the man
whose official Sands have run out, with an
exclamation point in each eye.
" ca, verify; never was meaner in my
life,'; mournfully responded Locke.
''Balm, of Thousand Flowers; the
Union gain in Columbus was 506," put in
the Brigadier.
.'Go t.; you're all ass" replied the man
who (s)Cewles through the columns Of the
Cleveland Leader.
y THAT is well known and well estab-
1ished fact" replied the Brigadier; ''but
did you make Union gain of 5O6 in your
city 2''
The Chairman rushed to his feet. 'sGen-
tlemen," he said, "though l be Cowan, I
am no coward. Iserved my country brave
ly; fit for the flag in the sacred walls of
the Adjutant Generals office for four years,
and would like to fight for it again-in
the Governors office. If soldiers are not to
have the offices, who are? Am not SOL
dier? Am not L Brigadier? Have 1 not
manfully grasped the pen during the long
rebellion. because s'the pen is mightier
than the sword ?" Have not proclaimed
the Democratic party dead? Yet 10, being
dead, it kicketh up wonderous smell, and
it's ghost is carrying everything before it.
Its mad career must be stopped, or woe to
us; we shall no longer inhabit these pleas
ant places. II this thing continues it's not
a General, but Judge will inhabit these
walls, and the soft things we have known
shall know us no more," and he smole a
smile of grief and apprehension as he sat
down.
Instantly Comfy stroked his beard and
said, 'but the Union gain was 5O6."
Then Coates Kinney rose and said 'swe
must have convention" For be it known
a convention is Coates best grip. 1--WE
must have convention, and our colored
brethren must sit with us in that conven-
tion; and that we may become used to the
perfume of our newly discovered heroes,
let's have it in the balmy month of June,
that our colored friends may mingle their
perspiration with ours and then, in the
language of that slave-driver, John Ran
dolrh, we can stink and shine and shine
and stink like rotten mackerel by moon
light"
Comfy again popped up like cork from
soda bottle and inquired, "Who's John
Randolph? Did he know the Union gain
was SOC ?''
So it was resolved to hold Convention,
and to admit such negro delegates as had
so far lost their self-respect as to sit with
them, and they again mournfully shook
their hands and sorrewfully wagged their
heads and departed, each man to his own
home. And as we passed him, Comfy had
a policeman by the button-hole, and was
Informing him shat the Union gain was
506F' They met in sorrow and departed in
grief, and no negro ministered comfort to
| them.
ANOTuEP PpOpTrAE oorrosoon5o