The Portland daily press., 1867-02-11

Some time AGO a friend sent ne, Win MS
compliments, a very curious present 10 oat-
ward appearance it was box OF CIGARS. was
rather surprised at this, ior lne ic,.son tiiat
do not smoke. and moieoVe, my lienu, Ma.
ing been an editor for the iasI zen years, IS
not in peeunlaiy conuilloh Which woaid
render 1t prudeh' iot h'iii " niahe very nu-
merous presents OF cigars az the current prices.
opened the iid ana discovered that the box
was liiieo wicn sn,iii sips ., pflhied paper
neatly tea into iitIie bundles and closely
packed cut Tue r,ppon OF one OF the bun
dies, ana spreading the Slips on the table found
that ihey were twenty-five conundrums. In
lact, IL was ooA OF conundrums. MY friend
had taken the fancy to cut them from eX-
changes, oil which he looked over piles every
dav, and to pack them in this peculiar man
ner. stts3 Il HiaH85tggI
4 counted the bundles, and made various
computations in reference to them. l do not
remember the exact resuts-I have no mem
ory for fioules-but i'm general way lesti-
mated that | could supply country weekly
naper with n column of conundrums Tor each
issue during the space of four years ana SIX
months. judged, however, that one-eishtn
oil la column would be as many as an oruihaiy
reader would heartily enjoy in each paper,
and, at that rate, 1 would have been able TO
keep the journal supplied WIN conundfuns
for thirty-six years. sli,as
L must confess that 1 was at loss what use
to make OF THIS present. 10 attempt TO read
all the contents OF the box was out OF ques-
ton. Could make them marketable? Could
induce some magazine to publish nothing
for several months put eenundrums, with ITO
be continued at the close OF each number
Could sell them at so much dozen, as mot
to verses are sold? Or could be still more
choice with them and procure run of Gus
tom from gentlemen who are required to keep
up reputation Tor wit to secure invitations
to social dinners, after the manner OF the per-
son who wrote that article in one OF Dickenss
Christmas stories, which explains the manner
OF making conundrums from the dictionary?
mat persons Idea, may remark, Is Old, Tor
my friend Informs me that at one period OF
his life he was timed, ON a bet, and proved
himself able, with the aid OF dictionary and
spelling book, to make two and half cOnun-
drums per minute, Tor such length OF time
(being allowed intervals TOR meals and sleep,
that it was quite EVIDENT that he could con-
tinue doing SO as long as the Engllsn language
held out. Indeed, he was NOT limited by the
number OF words IN the Ian stiage, Tor heio
it possible to make great many conundrums
on one word. n M 40
To give me some idea OF bis method of ope-
ration, my iflend LOOK the pans 10 make as
sorted packages illustrative oil distinct styles of
conundrums, For instance, there were two
packages fifty on the single word lie, As,
tor instance, when is truth talsehood? When
1t lies in we'll There We're three packages
about ships. GU Will IND IN your spelling
book a list of words ending with ship. Every
one OF them is capable OF a conundrum alter
the following style: What ship would be
treighted with knowledge? Scholarship. Take
all the technical words used on shipboard iii
you have complete spelling book you will
lind them one LIST !. and every al those
words is capable OF one or more cenundrums. 4
How easy IL Isl Why Is a man who marries
twice like ship? Decause he has a second
mate. When may ship be said to be in love ?
Notice now many answers may be made to
this: When she wants mate There it is
again. when she wants to be MANNED; when
she is struck aback by heavy swell; when
the carpenter re-guards her; when she makes
much OF last sailor; when she Is tenGer to a
man-oi-war; when she is ship OF great size |
(sighs; when she hugs the wind; when she
runs down Tor smack; when she is after |
cOnsort; when she is attached to a buoy s
Let Inc begin at the beginning and Illus |
trate some methods OF Constructing conun-
drums. The student should commence on
the alphabet. For Instance: Why is the let
Ter S like dinner? Perhaps you give itup. The /
triumphant student answers, because it comes
beloret. Here is one more ingenious, on ac- 4
~oONNse"AOA4S'
called the celestial land? Because little B
mikes an immortal life out OF an immoral
one. The practical hand can make these at
the rate OF one In thirteen seconds. Thus. |
Why is strong letter? Because it is al
ways in health. Ii the alphabet were alive, !
why would you ind 1t difficult to KILT? Be
cause you could not put out OF being. Why |
is fortunate letter? Because II Is always |
IN luck. You VIII perceive that the whole |
1inhahpf IQSf form
and the same as c, and the other letters in
tins manner: Why is an unfortunate let
ter? Because 1t Is always out OF luck. A la |
dy asks gentleman to whom she is engaged Il
Why is d like ring? He gives it up. Be |
canse zoe can be soed with it,. Again, Why |
is d likely to. be drownel? Because it is I'M /
DER the sea. Why IS 4 the happiest OF VOW
els! because II Is always In bIiss while is
neil ana the others IN ptrgato1y. Again you
can use form IKE this' why VIII the letter
long DE remembered by the Americans?
because It is the beginning OF secession and
the ehu OF Jen DAVIS.
dneSe conundrums are easily made, and il
nmltable; but they are only TO be used by be-
elhnerS, OF ior the sake OF variety. There are
several other methods lor beginners. Take the
numerai adJectves. What word is that of
I'VE ! y letters rom Which II you take away two
Oh lnem oniy one will pe ieft9 stone. What
Wofa Is tllaI OF elsht ietters from which, Ii
you take away five, ten will still be lett? len
dency. nie4
II you look in the dictionary you will find
about hundred words beginning with the syl-
Liable ten" all OF which you can turn into
conundrums as fast as you can talk. There
are any number OF puzzles to be made on the
principle used by Artemus Ward OF putting
me inquire ior the word TOR" That is not
nearly as ingenious as the childrens method
d speiilns potatoes-put one o, put two o's,
put Ihree o's, put iour o S, put live o s, put SIX
os' put seven os, put eight os. But to illus
Lrate' w MAI DAY III Inc year Is an injunction
70 go Iorth March Atm. Whip Is wealth like
prooieil III nSures' because 1t Is something I
70 (cipher) 5-.'. i
o'nihariy with punctuation, Us in the
phrases putting period to your existence
putting a stop 10 womans tongue.n even
nave cohundruns IN which conn ma is twisted
ire olner methods which i cannot stop to |
vrnn@S w. ~, villa. Mo,o Is isiWsSs pronounced
Q ~ SocaoON. W iLtb WUTu |