The Hancock Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Ohio) 1857-1870, 1867-04-26
Nasty.
The Russian Purchasc-How
IL was Done MIR. NNsby the
OriginatorOfthe Speculation.

uDRcl, Il SUOOu TelluIh W ", iOoh
yoor harp anoo," but it amt, and,
therefore, sich rekest wood be re
dickyoolus. This rapsody hez refer
ence to the Rooshcn purchis.
The idea originated in these mag
sive intellek When l wuz here
afore, the Blairs, all NV EN-, wuz q
crowdin the sainted johnson for u
mishun; Cowan wantid a mishun,
and so did Doolittle, and that day
pretty much all Nv the delegates to
the Cleveland and Phladelphy Con
venshuns he'd bin there wantin some
kind NV a place; wat they wuzn't
pertikeler. One gentleman whose
nose (wich trooly blossomed ez the
lobster) betokened long service in
the party, urged that he he'd bin n
delegate to both Conyenshens.--
Thank God!' sed Johnson. "Wood
that both them Conversions he'd bin
made up NV the same men. wood
then hev bin bored for places only
half cz much cz l an.n
wuz a ielpin him out in my weak
way. When the crowd wantin plac.
cs become too great for human en-
doorance, ! would say, in modrit
tone, "let's go ont and git suthin,
and to. wunst fully half wood ex
claim, Thank yoo, don't keer ef l
do" 1t wuz a great relief to John
son, but wuz pizcn on me. With the
most NV EN-, the anguish, anxiety and
solissitood in the gittin NV otllcis and
free drinks WIZ about an ekal thing.
The ofllses they wantid, wuz merely
the m cans to that .pcrtikeler end, and
SO long ez they wuz gittin the latter
without the trouble NV the former,
they wuz content. A good constitu.
sben and copper lined stumick car
ried me thro this tryin ordeel, until
| came across o Boston applicant,
who, in conscience w the perhibito-
ry law, he'd bin for some time on
short rashens, and wiz keen Set
Nopoleon hedithen met his Wellin-
ton, and i succumd. The mans tai
ent wuz wunderful.
Sekretary Seward wuz in trouble
about the Blair family, pertikerly.--
lie he'd did his lever best for EN-.
He he'd appinted EN- TO Collekterships
and forrin misshuns, but the crooel
SENT, wich he'd no respeck for us,
took delite in fastening NV EN- onto
us by perpetooally rejectin EN-. just
after a long siege by Montgomery
and the old man, sejestid the pur.
CHS Nv the Rooshen Territory, to
wich not only they Good be sent, but
thousand NV others wich we he'd
on our hands, and the Secretary wuz
so pleased at the idea that he wcpt
like child. With vigger wonder.
ful in one so old, he set about gittin
testimonials ez to the valyoo NV the
territory, to Infooence the SENT in
-atifyin the treaty he was agoin to
make. And he rote to a naval Oil
ser about it, who answered more
promptly than l ever knowd a naval
"Its a trooly splendid country.
The trade in the skins NV white bears
kin be, il properly developed, made
enormous. There is seals there, and
walruses so tame that they come up
NV their own akkord to be ketched.
"P. SIN case the purchis shood
be made, n naval stashen will be nee.
essary. May l hope that my long
services on the Floridy Coast would
prove sulllshcnt recommendashen fol-
the command NV the depot? May
/? .!....
81 hev the honor to be-" &c.
A distinguished Perfessor wrote:
1.-The climate is about the style Il,
that they hev in Washington. Th.
Gulf Stream sweeps up the coast
causin q decided twist in the isother
NAL line, wich hez the effcck NV max
ing it ruther sultry than otherwise
Anywheres for six, hundred miles
back nv the coast straw berries grow
in the open air. | recommend the
purchis.
"P. SIN case the purchis is
made, q explorin expedishen will be
necessary. May l hope that my sci.
entifiik attainments are suiilsllently
well known to 700 to recommend me
rs q proper person to head the expe.
dishcn? May /?
O. hev the honor to be-" etc.
The President wuzn't favorably in
clined. He wuz full NV the old fogy
idea that it wuz rather chilly there
than otherwise. He hedn't faith in
the isothermal line, and wuz skepti.
Gle about the Gulf Stream. 1t wuz
his experience that the further North
700 got the colder it WIZ. For in.
stance, he remarkt, that while the
people wuz warm toward him in Vir.
ginny and Maryland, last fall, they
become very cold ez he got North.
Wher wuz the isothermal line then ?
Randall, who will hev his joke, re.
markt that the isothermal line twist.
ed. He notlst that the people made
it ez hot for EN- ez he wantid it ez
tar North ez Cleveland, to wich Sex.
etary Welles replied, that it only
confirmed him in the opinion that,
for plattn vessels NV war, iron wuz
preferable to pine plank any time.
Seward removed the Presidents
objections to wunst. He read his
letters wish set forth the beauties
and advantages NV the country twict
over. Here wuz whales, and walrus.
ses, and seals, and white bears, and
pine apples, and wheat, and sea lions,
and fields OF ice the year round, in a
climate ez mild and eQuable ez the
meridian NV Washington. The is.
othermal line wuz more accomodatin
ther than any other part NV the world.
1t cork'screwed through, the territory
so ez to grow fine beaches for exnor-