Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1867-07-20
From the Toledo Blade. .I
N A = ID Y .

MIR. NAs'Y DREAMS A DREAM, CAUSED, PRO
BADLY, BY THE NEW ENGLAND ATMos
PHERE, WHICH HE WAS BREATHING, PRE-
FACED BY SOME FEW INCIDENTS OF TIL
VISIT OF HIS GRAND sEIeNouR TO BOSTON
FREMONT House, BosToN, !
(Which is in the Stait Nv Massachoosett,)
i W.. n.s fr June 30, 1867.
/ hev alluz he'd an incorrect idea Nv Bos.
ton. l spozed Boston to be strate- laced
moral to degree not to be understood by 8
Dimocrat, and Puritanicle. 1 wnz mistaken
There is ez heavy per cent. NV men in
whom His Eggslency and ken talk delite
ez there is in any city in the country, ez the
notice will show: ..... ..I
Ez we wuz going through Franklin stree,
a man stepped up to the carriage rather hes
itatinlv-
"Mr. President" sed he
"Well," said His Eggsency, turnin full
upon him.
The site Nv the nose Nv the Step Father
NV his Country reashured him.
"Mr. President, wood 700 like some
punch Z" 4.' .. .....
punch Certainly. But hevn't yoo suthin
stronger, to lay the foundashen with Z"
Certainly p and he pulled bottle Nv
brandy from his right hind pocket, and the
| great man took an observashen NV the sky
thro the bottom Nv it, witch lastid a mint.
! never agin will doubt that the material to
make Dimocrisy Nv exists in country wher
they come at 700 with punch, and hev
brandy bottles in ther coat pockets.
Bokays were showered upon us. One old
gentleman, who sot two hours in chair
waitin to present US with his, finally histed it
at US. The fact that ther wuz note in it askin
for posishen fur the generous giver, don't
detract anythin from the valyoo Nv the gift.
When we got to the end of our trip ther was
dray load NV bokays in our carriage and
in all but three Nv them wuz tied up recon-
mendashens for the givers for places. It's
better to hev sich missives enveloped in roses,
though the most thorns we git amt got
roses round 'em.
The most techin incident wuz the number
Nv babies we had to kiss. The mothers
pressed to our Garage steps to present their
| offsprings. Mistakin me for the President,
kisst half Nv 'em. The rapcherous EXPIRE
shun on the upturned faces Nv the anxshus
mothers affected the President to teers,
shown, ez it did the confidence reposcd in
him.
"Whist Teddy!' sed one NV EN-, 'and
howld yer mug up fer the man to kiss who
doesn't kiss the dirthy nagers |" H..
"Musha, Phelim, be still. The Prisidint,
bless his sowl, won't bite ye !"
Lind me yer apurn, Peggy, to wipe Ter
! ry's face wild. The Prisidint musht kiss the
dsrlin. Taint livery Prisidint would do the
loike" ...
And the President kissed, and kissed,
| till our lips wuz sore.
! Sich is posshun
I That mite received letter from Deekin
Pogram, in wich he desired me to ascertain
| whether or no wuz emmy bottom to the
Northern Dimocrisy. Capt McPelter sed
J the Northern Dimocrisy was strong enuff to
carry us Nv Kentucky throo, while Pollock,
! the Illinoyer, swore the Northern Dimocrisy
! he'd a considerable more to do to carry
themselves than they he'd bin able to ac-
complsh for some time-that in pullin
match a corpse wuznt Nv much akkount
| eff it wuz a big one. With this letter in
my hand l fell asleep, and while asleep,
! dreemed.
Methawt I wuz in Moo Orleans at gath
rim NV the Faithful, who wuz called together
for the purpose of considerin wat to do
Sum few-Longstreet, Governor Brown, and
JEFF. Thompson-w in favor NV su5mis-
sion, and he'd got the majority Nv the Sou
thern people to agree with him that there
was no yOose NV further resistance, and they
wuz jist about to so declare, when Vallan-
digham, Ben. Wood, Toucey, Morrissey,
Voorhees,, and score or two more Nv that
kind, rushed in and begged NV 'em to hold
out. "Why submit ?" sed Vallandie ham,
"We'll sustain yoo. The Northern Dimoc-
risy is giant which kin yet perfect you.-
He's in his prime and strong enuff yit to
carry yoo throo twice the troubles wich
threatens 700. Depend onto us-we'll carry
yoo."
And the Southerners whopped over to
their side and yelled tiercely, mo submis-
sion !" and immejitly the entire bilin Nv
'em startid North with these men to ascer'
tain the strength and carryin' capacity Nv
the Northern Dimocrisy. Methawt the
party travelled and Travelled, until
finally they come to vast plain in Ken
lucky, onto wich wuz extendid PROSTATE
the form Nv Giant. 1t wuz Giant i'm
mense in statoo, but emaciated to the last
degree His limbs he'd bin strong, his teeth
terrible, and his trunk massive, but it wuz
plane to see that he wuz pegged out and a
look at its face showed why it wuz so. Dis
sipation he'd redoost him to helplessnis.-
His face wuz bloatid and bloc, his eyes wuz
sot and CHASTITY, his chest wuz holler and
sunken, his legs like pipe stems, and ulcers
boils, sores, brooses and contooshens xiv
cred him from he'd to foot, and he drawed
his breath with effort. a..-
He lay groanin and groanin. Randall
wuz tenderly feedin him out Nv huge
bottle labeled Appointments" wich ap'
peared to give it temporary strength, but
the effect Nv that wuz lost by President
Johnson's dosin him with an ofensiv smell
lin mixture labeled policy" every swallel
Nv wich wood throw him into a spasm.-
Gov. English was rubin one arm with Q
liniment Randall gave him, and he succeed
ed in gittin up little circulation in 1t.
"What is this Z" askt the Southtrners
"Northern Dimocrisy !" sed English, rub
bin away vigorously, .......-. =,
SIS this the Giant wich is to carry us z
sed the Southern gentlemen, viewin the dis
gustin objick doubtfuily. :,
Certainly I" said johnson. snow cam
you git up Z" said he, to the PROSTATE bein
given it a very large swaller out NV his bot
tie. The giant made an effort, but Topped
down agin like dish-rag.
"Gentlemen ~ sed Vallandigham, 1--WE
shel hev to call upon 700 to assist in settir
him onto his feet. and then it'll be all rite
with him. He's bin this way afore."
Accordingly, the southerners gathered