Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1867-12-05
What a Little Boy Thought
About Things.

am little boy about so many
years old; don't know whether I'm a
good little boy bat I'm afraid not,
for / sometimes do wicked things,
and once l cut sisters Kittens tail
off with the choppin' knife, and told
her a big dog came along and bit it
off and swallowed it down before
kitty could say Jack Robinson, and
sister said she was sorry, and it must
have been very naughty dog, but
my father didn't believe me, and said
be was afraid l had told lie, and
I'm afrid ] had; so then he asked me
if knew where liars went tc; and
l said yes; that they went to
New York and wrote for the news
papers; she said no-they went TO the
bad place where was nothin' but
lake of fire and brimston', and she
asked me if | would like to 90 there,
and | said no, for | didn't think
there'd be much skatin' or slidin' on
that lake, and the boys couldn't
snow ball each other on shore, and
she said it was more than that, Just
as though that wasn't bad enough,
for / don't think they can play base
ball nuther; then she asked me if
would like to be rangel and have
harp. and, i said no!-I'd rather be a
stage driver and have big drum, for
| couldn't play on t'othcr thing
So shouldn't like to be nangel.
their wings must be in the way when
they so swimmin, and play tag and
leap frog; and besides it must be hard
to fly when one amt used to it. But
it would be jolly to be stage driver
and have a long whip and touch up
the leaders, and say g'laug there,
what are ye dom on! 1 should like
that much better'n fyin'; and then
mother seid there was dreadful
stage of sin, and brother Bob hol
Tered and said that he guessed l was
on it, and then she whipped us and
sent Us to bed without any supper,
but didn't care about supper, for
they hadn't nathin but bread and but
ter fer tea, and Bob and I got up
and he lifted me in at the pantry
window, and We got q mince pie and
q whole hat full of doughnuts aud
they thought it was the cook that
stole 'em and sent her away the next
day, and Bob said he was glad OF it,
for she didn't make good pies, and |
the doughnuts wasn't fried enough. |
and sometimes l do swear, for / said |
by golly the other day, and sister
heard me, and she told mother, and
mother said l was a bad boy, and
would bring her grey hairs to the
grave, and she whipped me, but l
don't think it did her grey hairs any
good, and it hurt me, and when l got
up stairs l sail gol darn'it, bat I said
it so she didn't hear me and when
she asked me if / didn't thirk l was
very wic5ed, l said | was afraid was
and l was sorry for it, and wouldn't
do so no more, and then she said /
was good little boy, and told me
about George Washington WHO cut
down the apple tree, and was caught
at it, and said he did it with his little
hatchet, just as though hadn't heard
all about it before, and didn't always
think he was big stupid for cuttin
wood when they had hired man
about the house, and dullin' his little
hatchet, and besides it would have
been a great deal jollier to let the
trees be so he could have stolen ap-
pies off in the fall l don't care if
he was the Father of his country,
he wasn't smart and I'll bet you the
boys in our school would cheat him
out of his eye teeth swoppin jack
knives. I could lick him and not
hardly try, and I don't think he was
very healthy either, for never saw
good little boy that wasn't always
sick and had the mumps and measles,
and the scarlet fever, and wasn't
coughin' all the while, and hadn't to
take castor oil, and tar-water, and
couldn't eat cherries and didn't have
to have his head patted till all the
hair was rubbed off by everybody
that came to his mothers and. be
asked how old he was, and who
died to save sinners, and what he he'd
been studyin at school, and how far
he'd got, and lots of other conun-
drums, and have to say his cate
chism, no I should not like to be a
good little boy, I'd just as lief be an
angel and be done with it, but | don't
think I ever shall be q good little
boy, and other people don't think
so too, for was never called good
little boy but once, and that was
when Uncle John asked me where /
stood in my class, and / told him it
was next to the head, and he said that
was right, and he gave me quarter,
and then he asked me how many
boys there were in the class, and
said there was only two, myself and
a little girl, and then he wanted me
to give him back the quarter, and he