Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1867-06-20
Fun lettings.

"A conscientious witness down East
refused to swear that he saw one man kick anoth-
er, but he readily took his oath that he saw de-
PENDANT take his foot away from plaintiff three
times.
The man in jail who looked out OF
the window of his cell and exclaimed = this is a
CRATE country is now generally admitted to have
spoken e0jhtin bounds. ,ittGf9' 3 ~ H.- . 2
What's ina name? Everything is
i'll an aim, if you wish to shoot straight.
Why is a man annoyed by a fool
like one who falls in the sea Because he is aman
overheard.
l. "A genius out West who wished TO
mark halfdozen new shirts, marked the first
John Jones, and the rest ditto, g:..-..,.. b. i.
F -" How many a doting husband"
says the cynical Mr.. Quilp,o would like to change
his forty-year old pardnner for two twentes" T.
|g "A good looking fellow was arraigned
lately before police-court charged with having
stolen watch. 1t was his first error, and he was
ready to plead guilty. The judge addressed him In
very gentle tones, and asked him what induced
him to commit the theft. The young man replied,
having been unwell for some time, the doctor adj
yised him to take some thing, which he had accord
ingly done. His Honor was rather pleased with
the hgmor Of the thing and asked what had Led to
err II thought if only had the btime that nature
would work cure"
Ia WHY'S the fact of your having some
Yeighty matter in the hands of a lawyer like trav
cling III the backwoods? Because you are a long
time coming to settlement. 'i'O" -" 'e'- r. ''
10 100" can't find bread for my family"
said a lazy fellow in company: :" Nor replied
an Industrious miller; II am Obliged 10 work
Tor it."t4o ga9I .f2aJ3SOIiH sI9HJ HoQh 1a
~ --4--AWhy is the -tolling of bell like the
prayer. of a hypocrite? Because it's solemn
sound by thoughtless tongue "}fS J.i1+IGf'
"a Ill" Now gents, ri said "a Yankee at
dinner guess III show; you somethin' that no
critter in this room ever seed afore, and not
critter living ever will see aein.0 Dye bel? r The
dessert plate, and cracking ithed up the kernel
between his thumb and finger " Now, gents,
karkilate none of yer ever seed that kernel afore
and (swalloTing li) guess you'll never see It
again. Please fork out
LII A HIissourian Informed a traveller
who had inquired about corn that each stalk had
nine ears on it, and was fifteen feet high" That's
nothing to our corn, replied the traveller. "Up In
ao where Eo %s aTas nns
anR eans nv y @SssE sSa '
er. = Because the corn grew So fast it always
ga The day before, yesterday. Mrs
Smith was thrown into a state of considerable
alarm and anxiety for the safety of her daughter,
Miss Matilda Jane Smith, who was reported by her
brother, Master John Smith, to be PLACED In pc.
s9R dange he
down in the kitchen, and there's great monkey
got hold of her." Mrs. Smith at once rushed to
her assstsnes 6nt Sa not
called on for ali explanation He stated that he
had distinctly observed an ape run tapron) found
his sisters waist Nothing further is known .H2i
A wag remarks that he has seen
a couple of sisters who had to be told everything
together, for they were so much alike tudt tney
couldn't be told apart E4eg.s p .sae.qe
r, he 70 hf1c1
ness, and was also afflicted with punning part
ner One day jim said {. Harrison has offered me
a lot of bark cheap Has he, hey--6dfk 2!
g Yes, bark SWeffi, then. advise you to 6uyt."
= - An Irishmarf entered barber-shop
while drunk ate with brush cup OF lather, dug
out the balls Of soap at the 6otto f OF te Cup ais
you like your dinner?" asked a bystander. Said
Pat, g The custard was Elegant but by my sonl,
think the egg was little too long uhuef tne wa
Their" Il T. f3 Jt@s- 81 He 3
-" Look ara1E before you leap, is very
good advice in its way, but how can Stcktytooktng
people follow it?
--+feThere is one thing sure, said Mrs
Partington the females Of the present generation
are heap more independent than tney need 70 be.
Why saw a.gal 90 by the other day that know
belongs to the historical class of society, with her
dress all tucked up her hair all buzzled up like If
she hadn't time to comb it for week, and one OF |
her grandmother's nightcaps IN an awful crumbed |
condition on her head Why, law, honey, when |
was gal, if one of the fellows came along when |
had my clothes tucked up that way, and my head
covered with white rag w3nid run uni ior dear NE
innocent, unconfscated Creatures now they are
what the French call blazes, ~
What is the difference between
town and its people. 1t is laid out at the begin
mig OF its existence and they az the END oil theirs
We grieve to find the following in
he Philadelphia Bulletin 9 What sort OF Asiatic
las the largest noseP An-NostrIi-aslan. OF course
-" Mrs. Dobson, where is your hus-
'and?n HE is dying, marin, and don't wish
anybody to disturb him" A very considerate Wo-