Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1867-12-06
From the New Orleans Times.
Asa Hartz on Oysters.

81 An oyster is something good to eat, but
can't register and vote. He grows in out
of,the-way places, where the tide GIBBS and
flows as often as it wants to in twenty -four
hours, and it seems to like it. a4
He has curious and ut the same time
playful habit, at certain times, Of opening
his shell and attracting to his presence the
hungry raccoon. On such occasion the cuss
Of raccoon surreptitiously inserts bis paw
into the open SHELL to haul the oyster out !;
whereupon the latter clamps down on him
like the devil, and holds him there till the
tide rises and browns him. $3.50
/ don't know what he does it for, but i
have the authority of several editions of nat
ural history--with colored plates--for say
ing that such is the fact, and also that no
raccoon has ever been known to survive this
hydropathic treatment.
r. The oyster must be of an extremely social
disposition They sleep numerously in one
bed, and nobody ever head Of one kick
ing another out. They are quiet set,
and, though they often open their mouths,
have nothing to say A great many self
important politicians Of the present day are
suffering with the same complaint. ss7.r
Their religious principles are strikingly
evident in the fact that they all belong to
the HardsheA persuasion, and although
strictly addicted to cold water, as general
thing. the principles Of that creed are often
seen when dozen Of them are found clus-
tered around the neck Of an old empty bottle
which some mean white man has emptied
and thrown overheard.
In his normal state the oyster is quiet and
anything but fussy. but when brought into
towns and cities he often gets into broil or
stew and although McCool himself would
be unable to close his "eye," the poor thing
suffers muchly from this getting into hot
water. e -
His temperance proclivities will make
him take even salt water when he can't gel
fresh, and his diet. outside Of that raccoou
foible mentioned above, is Exceedingly light
People eat oysters. Some are preferred
in the live state and some in the cooked. -
They are dog -on'd good both ways The
most approved and highly satisfactory way
of eating an oyster is to do it after the shell
has been opened. 1 have known people te
fail signally who tried it the other way.
There are two ways of making an oyster
open unto you. One is to knock him like
1 the mischief with a brick until he can't help
it. and the other is to tickle him with thing
like bowie knife. The first named plan
will always succeed. but the oyster doesnt
/ like it and the result is not satisfactory te
the man who does it. X. isfas
l tried the other process once, and sue
ceeded in taking off one-half my left thumb
1 with the bowie-k niferous instrument used
for tickling. I have not tried it since. -
Not many people know how to do it, ex'
pertly. e7a s3
You then put pepper-aauce on him. L
lemons are ten cents apiece, they are both
good if you like it.
/ ] don't know how many oysters can cal
in given time but I am willing, afterdue
notification, to try it for the benefit Of any
unprecedented individual who has barrel OF
two en- hand and an expert to use the open
ing instrument.
In conclusion the oyster is like clam,
only little more that way. He can hold
tighter, is more betty in his general build,
and there is more diversity in his style o.
architecture. ~ M
/ think I shall go out ana get some.
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