American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1867-05-01

auaptatlOn 10 attaining an agreeable De
meanor How often do we hear it said
"So-and-so is boor; you can max
nothing of him )" and again, "Wha
pleasant manners Mrs. So-and- so has 2
=" Yes, they are natural to her." Their
is innate refinement, and there is natis,
grace, and when they are cultivated tht
result is very charming. "Opportunlty
and importantly" said an Irishman whc
fell from grace, 7'arc too much for poo
humanity When nature and associa
tion are against a man Turveydrop viii
hardly make him pass muster in review
where manners is the ordeal
Good manners refer to personal inter
course whether the persons are present oil
absent. They involve respect, frankness
consideration, SO that you always behave
toward others, reserving to yourself the
right to select your acquaintances, and to
determine the measure Of the acquain,
tanceship as you would wish they should
behave unto you. Whoever cultivates
such princi pies of action will be, accord
ing to the position in the world he occu-
pies, the possessor of good manners.
These were the principles which gov>
erned Robert Burns, who, born a peas
ant, moved with ease in the society of his
day, from the hut to the castle, whose
associates reached from the commonest
and most illiterate to the most distin-
guished and most cultivated in Scotland
S uch, too, were the principles of the
Ettriek Shepherd, who boasted that he
had moved in every grade of society j,
and had found himself so much at home
in each that he could not tell to which
he really belonged. When Alton Locke
found himself at Lord Lyndale's, not
little nervous IN so new a sphe he re-
ceived from a friend this piece of advice !:
" Be natural" 1t was as good advice
as could have been given. To be kind,
sincere, unaffected, is to be well-man-
nered.
Respect, consideration, kind feeling,
have great deal to do with oiling the
wheels of the world. 1t is singular how
often we fnd those who should know
what good manners require appar emily
Indifferent in regard to some of the Gus
toms of life which should never be neg
lected.
Clergymen even, who should set an
example Of good breeding, are often
grossly negligent in the matter of reply
ing to letters. The very persons, too,
who are most regardless Of others inter
ests and feelings are the most prompt to
take 'offense. Let one of those distin>
guishad people who never can remember
or find time to write, address letter to
another upon some subject requiring an
HnbWcT HHu HHu no uOLlCS tdhCu VI IL,
and the deeply injured individual will
quite fail to recognize that he is recei
wing some Of the coin of which he has
dsbursed so much. People ought not TO
forget what concerns themselves and have
no apology for forgetting VIII at interests
Others If it were only matter of feel
ing, still feelings should be regarded.
Society is becoming sadly vulgarized
by the introduction of slang, so that the
pure speaker is rare 1t passes for wit
or humor with some people, especially
with those who are incapable of either,
very much as conceit passes for clever
ness with the uniuteIlectual and unin-
formed.
SoJriguet are among the vulgarisms
which should awaken disgust. What
can be more rude than to apply epithets
and names to others, thus rendering them
subjects Of ridicule. Satire is allowable
it can be INDUCED in face to face and
need not ruffle feather. 1t shows
want of cleverness to allow satire to de-
generate into sarcasm. Sarcasm may be
permitted under certain circumstances,
for as distinguished President of the
United States once remarked, " Hitting
hard and feeding off is sometimes plea
SAINT occupation" But vulgar rudeness
should be classed with that mediocre
excellence in poets which" Horace says,
is intolerable to gods and men,"
We have often noticed a point in eti-
guette which seems expressly adapted to
the protection of the rights and feelings
of both sexes: We allude to the custom
which requires the lady to speak first, and
which required the gentlemen to return
the bow when lady and gentleman,
presumed acquaintances, meet in the
street. The philosophy of the rule is
this, for there is sound philosophy in
manners were the gentleman to bow
first it would be in the power of the lady
to ignore the bow, and thus mortify the
gentleman who only intended polite