Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1867-06-27
Odds and Ends.

Which should take precedence, the
skunk or the weazel2 The skunk
he outranks the weazel.
If a girl is unfortunately stone
blind, let her get married-if that
doesn't open her eyes, nothing will.
A contemporary thinks there is too
much sparkling" at Saratoga. He
refers to burning hotels.
Why are newly published songs
like men bathing2 Because they are
new ditties.
There is never so much need of
ones wits as when talking to a fool.
Some women who are not loved by
their own sex are most thought of by
the other.
Some persons cannot look forward
to the future, but only backward to
the past. They have but one eye,
and that in the back of their headsl
The most appropriate wood for
sewing machines --Hemlock.
Reason wrapt up in few words is
generally of the greatest weight.
We fear that the Towering of ro-
mantle love in the bosom of boy
does not long survive the budding of
the chin.
A c.usty old bachelor says women
should be spelt whim-en.
Why are country girls cheeks
like good print dress? Because
they are warranted to wash and re-
tain their color.
How many musical strains does it
take to bust singer.
A Buffalo city railroad company
petitioned the other day for authori-
ty to increase its fares, on the ground
that the conductors stole the profit.
If some mems bodies were not
straighter than their minds, they
would be crooked enough to ride on
their own backs.
"Nobody ever lost anything by
love-" said a sage looking person
"That is not true" said young lady
who heard the remark, "fer l once
lost three nights sleep"
What is the gentlest kind of spur2
A whisper.
Censure is the tax man pays to
the public for being eminent.
Why is it easy to break into an old
mans house? Because his gate is
broken and his locks are few.
Why is lady Of fashion like a
successful sportsman? Because she
bags the hair.
The coolest seat IN an omnibus
the one nearest the Pole.
An actor eulogizing his mistress
one day, indicated by his manner a
new position of the heart. He went
on thus:
"The angel! 1 have her picture
here. 1 always wear it next to nay
heart" And here he produced the
precious daguerreotype, not from his
bosom, but from pocket in the tail
of his coat
An ex Rebel General declares that
he "was not whipped in the recent
war, but hadn't time to fight the
thing out, and 80 concluded to sur
render.
Some poor fellow who has been
Tilted, we should judge, and brought
to grief by some fair one, thus re-
his wrongs: "Eve did not
know as much as her daughters of
the present day. Had they been in
her place, instead of being deceived.
they would have deceived the devil"
The not very promising son of an
anxious parent or two had been EN-.
ployed, at board, in a store, for
about six months. Parents write to.
profane head ofthe concern, asking
how boy gets along; if he is steady:
and if he sleeps in the store. Head
Of the concern answers briefly
''Boy good as ever. Sleeps in the
store day times; don't know where IN
- he sleeps nights
The Buckeye (Ohio) State, says:
There is a woman residing in that
county, who can plow, fish, nurse
and sing, all at once. She yokes her
oxen to the plow; then slowing her
win babies in a corn basket, sus-
nends it to tree; attaches the cow
belle to the end of her fishing rod,
which is forced into the ground at
The waters edge; she then drives on
ler team, and every time she comes
opposite her babies the aerial re
selves a send, which keeps it vibrat
ng until she performs another circuit
around the ''land," practicing in the
meantime various pieces of sacred
music; aad if thoughtless fish swai-
owed her baited hook, the obedienS
bell informs her, when she sails
across the field and straightway
L.nI. Al v;oti,n ashore