The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1867-07-12

ibid you NOT toll fhIS young lady, my
ward, chat this note was counterfeit2 And
did you not so far forget self respect and
the interest of your employers as to offer.
an Insult
The man stood confounded- he dared
not deny; he could say nothing for himself
IF your employers keep VOW, sir, they
cashier, sternly. "You deserve to be
horse whipped, sir F" = 80
The firm parted with their unworthy
clerk that very day, and he left the store
disgraced but Justly punished. =
Alice Locke BECAME the daughter in law
Of the good cashier Al of which grew
out Of calling genuine bill counterfeit. '-
Josh Billings, in his advice to young
lady as to how she shall receive proposal,
says: : 700 ought tew think it kind,
looking down hill with an expression about
half tlckled and half scarf. After the pop
u over, II ,yurc lovyer wants to kiss you, T.
don think | would say yes or no, but les
the thing kind Of take its own course.
A rather funny case came before a Justice
at Milwaukee recently. A young wonan
had accepted the attentions and civil.
ties of a gentleman for some time and at
length was married to somebody else, to
whom she had been previously engaged at
the time she accepted tis services. Where
upon the deceived Individual sued for bill
of $104 %. the amount he had paid in her
behalf IN taking her to- concerts, operas,
pic-nics, rides and ice cream, saloons As
an offset he credited her with sundry kisses
valued at $lG.673, several squeescs Of the
hand, So. BIZ, an uuretafned photograph
and a ring; making a totalof $37.75. He
recovered the bill, the Judge allo. ing the
plaintiff the kisses at his own valuation
The case is to be carried up, and there
promises to be much conflicting testimony
as to the value of the Milwaukee girls
kisses. .-ra'r ~s,.fs -. z..---, -.
Mrs. Darlington says she did not marry
her second husband because she loved the
male sex, but just because he was the size
OF her trSt protector, and could wear out
his old clothes. il #fH ss.@
A BoRE-'' Sarah - said young man,
the other day, . why don't You wear ear
rings ?" - Because | haven't had my. ears
pierced" [ will bore them for you"
:, Thank you, you have done that enough
already"
A man in Brooklyn having reason to sus-
pect that his wife was criminaliy Intimate
with male friend bored some holes in the
ceiling OF her apartment, and sfationing
himself in the room above, armed with Il
bottle OF yitiol, awaited the course of
events, He saw conclusive evidence of her
guilt, and used the Yitriol with such terri
bic effect that both eyes of the woman were
destroyed, and her visitor was burned SO
badly that he could not be removed from
the house. a -..
Thomas Turtle, the Cheshire (Mass.)
Irish boy, who was appointed by represent.
alive Dawes to the West Point Military
Academy, at the recent graduating exami-
nation in his class stood first In minerology
and geology, and second in engineering
and ethics, which are the three highest
branches.
Let me kiss her for her mother
The bewitchiug Polly Ann -....r
Let me kiss her for her brother,
Or any other man. $500
Let me kiss her for somebody,
Anybody in the world,
With her hair so sweetly auburn,
And so goriously curlcd.
Let me kiss her for her "fcllcr.o
And do not care red
If he taps me on the smeler t. .r
With his billy made Of lead.
bet me kiss her for her daddy,
The pretty pouti g elf,
Or, if that don't suit the family,
Let me kiss her for myself eGW .s rff
A eentlemanly agent of a certain
city was collecting fare from the passengers
of a very full bus one morning All paid
promptly except one fat old lady, who sat
next the door, and who seemed to be reach
| ing down as if to get something she had
dropped on the floor When her time came
to pay she raised her head and thus ad-
dressed The bIushing youth: r.
81 alters, when | travels, carry my mon
ey in my stocIin, for you sees nothing
could git il thar, and I'd Thank, you young
man jist reach it for ne, as | m so damned
| that L can git to it. ;, r
The youth lookeJhtthe other passenger,
some Of whom were laughing at his plight
one Or two young ladies among them blush
cd scarlet, and he beat sudden retreat,
mutteriug something about. not charging
old ladies', etc. His cash was short that
morning the fare of one passenger.
\ Sunday teacher, deploring tho
lack Of attendants, to the few present,
asked What can [ do to get the boys
and girls to come here?" 81 know" said
one Of the urchins. What is it p Give
EN- all five cents apiece"
| Nose Mather, and his wife Sally, of Da-
rien, Conn, received cighty-one of their
descendants, whose united ages were 2,42S
years, on Thursday, and family reunion
of great enjoyment was held. The aged
couple are eighty five years old, and have
been married sixty six years The grand.
father of the venerable man was the Rev.
| Moses Mather, d. D., installed in l744 as
first pastor Of the Congregational Church
at DarieD, which position he held for sixty
two years. ,.-
A New Hampshire bachelor, after sew
eral unsuccessful attempts to enter the Ben
edictine ranks, finally persuaded an old
maid to marry him, the consideration being
a fifteen dollar watch. The ceremony over,
he urged an immediate return home
=" Home ~ exclaimed the bride, who had
been married at her fathers house, "home!
This is my home, and you had better go to
your'n. | agreed to marry you for the
| watch Int | woulln't live with Won for q