The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1867-03-07
serve only, 70 torneet and ,pepss1 hiA5 1
and Ms restless desperxtioa sdeprives

with commiseration on those who sulpsYy
and not on those who make . great show
In the world. Ait1G2HsfsAson and csm-
mon sense would point ont % ~ the Ab.y
snrdity Of our vain pursuits, and provo
Nhow dangerous tits to follow the deosit-a
fui track. How happy might people
live, and what q figure might they make
In tho eye Of the world, were they to
manage the libcralitics Of fortune with
common sense, and learn to despise its
superiluities. ....-....g43 s.sst.fhrrna
To arrive ut real happiness, we should,
possessing health and moderate com,
petence, view without emotion the mag
niticcnce Of the great, and never sigh
for the luxuries of the vicious. There u
! less pleasure in the possession OF riches
than the idea Of them presents Us with;
| for the man who by virtuous industry,
moves in a moderate circle In life, tastes
more satisfaction than the courticr with
all his pomp, pride and greatness. ~ a,
The Boy and the Bachelor. ss,, '..
A man who was never married relates
liis experience with another persons
child as follows:
The other day, In an upguarded mo-
mcnt, accepted the charge and cvstc-
dy Of . young Gentleman who worc gal.
ters and q King Charles II. hat and
feather. His sponsors In baptism had
given him one ame-circumstances an
other. His latter appellation, Buster
His age, rs he informed me, was going
on seven. When he made up his mind
that we were to be left together he eyed
me mAlevolcntly a moment, and imme-
diatAly commenced the following system
of torture: .s .s ..... aa.
What was my name and my brothers.
and my fathers name, and why: Did,
have any little boys? What was tho
reason, If didn't have any little boys, I
didn't have any little girls? All this
put as one question with no stops, and
gradual infection. ..-. ..... al. ..
| Was them buttons gold in my sleeve,
and why? How much did they COST
Did they cost one hundred and fifty dol
lars: ethey didn't cost ono hundred
and fifty dollars. what would be the cost
of gold house with gold furniture and
gold staircase: Did ever SEQ a house
with these aurifcrous peculiarities? d.
| No.
What then would be the cost Of a sill
ver carriage and gold harness? What
then would be the cost of leadsn car
riage with iron harness? And why? %
Did know why the flies walked on
tho ceiling? ......5 .r.... ffaa . A
Could walk on the ceiling Not II
had one man to hold my head and an
other my legs: Why couldn't T.
Could't If was giant? Did ever
see a giant: Was personally acquaint-
ed with any? 1=ss5 Is
Did ever see them eat' H... ~.
What was my business, and did I
know any stories. And why?
This atlonled y plan Of relief: ! IN
vious, life and adventures. I invested
all my relations aud friends with super
natural attributes, and made myself =
creation something between genii and
Robinson Crusoe. made the most as
tonishing voyages, and saw the most re-
markable occurrences. drew literally
from the Arabian Nights and Baron
Munchausen. Whenever l saw the
open mouth "address itself to motion ~
though 'twould speak," brought in y
rock of genii, or casket Of diamonds,
and took away the unhappy childs
breath. In the midst of an animated
description Of the Hoarhound Island,
and adventures in the damp caves,
where the candles hung in long stalac-
tites, the parents happily returned. l
hurricdly received their thanks and left.
But l have the secret satisfaction OF
knowing that oil that pent-up torrent OF
questions burst on the unhappy father;
, and that geographical statistics regard
ing the locality of FLOATING Island,
= the "Blanc Mango Archipelago" and
, "thc Valley Of Cream Cakes" will be
henceforth forever his fate to meet and
answer. --t
: neA- Mr.. Jones, aged seventy years,
t recently married young girl in Scho-