The Waynesburg Republican. [volume] (Waynesburg, Pa.) 1867-18??, 1867-10-23
Select Reading.
PHILLIPs' FIRST BABY.

and fired guns from the top of his corn
house, whistled Yanke Doodle while
eating his breakfast, and running the
necks of all the finwls on the place, to
make chicken pie for the celebration.
This worthy couple had been marri-
ed ten years, and this was their first
child. People had to laugh at them
ten years on account of their luck /;
people who were overrm with chill
dren, and whose lives were made mis-
cradle by the seedlings and spankings
they found it necessary to inflict on
their wretched little olive plants.
| Now, Mrs. Phillips said, she guess
ed they'd laugh out of the other side.
There had never been so large baby
born in Smithfeld before. Mrs. Jones'
only weighed nine pounds, and had a
pug nose, Mrs. Sawyers' was red hair
ed and had a mole ON his right foot
a sure sign that it would come to bad
end-and only weighed seven pounds
and fourteen ounces She guessed
people had better look at home before
they laughed.
Baby proved to bea Tartar. He
had temper like a wind mill, and
seemed determined to develop his feet
and lungs to the utmost while he had
leisure, for he screamed and kicked
twcnty-thrne out of the twcnty-founr
hours,
| But his mother declared he was an
angel. We never can imagine an
angel with puffy red checks, heels cle-
waited in the air, sucking sugar tcat,
and being bounced about in pillow
cradle to the tune of "Iligh diddle
deed !" but then our imagination is not
by any means so vivid as it might be.
From the hour in which he was
born, he was the Autocrat of the house.
hold everything had to bow to his
nod.
The scullcry door creaked it was
taken off the hinges, and the servant
was in the draft all the time, because
she might disturb the baby. For the
same reason the coffee mill was moved
into the wood shed, the dishes must be
washed out of doors--the clatter Of the
plates made baby scream; the wash
ing was done in the barn all the
clocks in the house were stopped ; the
dog wns muzzled. and the cat choketl
all from the fear of disturbing the
baby.
Mr.. Phillips paid blacksmith who
was located within quarter of a mile,
one hundred dollars to move his shop,
and Badly was moved to the back loft
of the wood shed on account of her
snoring.
The child's dresses were legion. 1t
was q wonder that it could draw its
breath with so many terrible ailments
clingingto it. Mrs. Phillips was con-
tinually on the watch for some new
demonstration.
"Charles !" cried she, waking her
husband from slumbcr one cold winter
night "it seems to me that baby docs
not breathe just right"
Mr.. Phillips sprang upaud listened.
"Good gracious, he's got the snuffles,
amt hew
ooh, dear, what shall we do if badly
is going to be sick ~
Mr.. Phillips got a light, and the
anxious parents brought it to bear on
the face of their child.
ooh, heavens " cried his mother,
"his face is actually purple he's going
to have scarlet fever. See that red
spot on his elbow"
at may be where he's laid on it."
remarked Mr.. Phillips.
"Laid on it, eh you unfeeling man,
you unnatural father! And there it's
sucking its thumb; Tvc known it
from the first it would not live; it
sucked its thumb so much"
"Seems to me that I've heard my
mother say that it was sign of a
healthy child to suck its thumb, but |
won't be certain: Any way, it is a
good sign or a bad one; forget
which,"
"Run, Charles, for the doctor! It's
going to die-I know it is! Oh, don't
stop to dress--tlOn't! It NAV die
while you are waiting. Call for Gran
ny Bates, and tell her to bring some
catnip, and caffron, and peppermint
tell her to bring all the herbs she's got
and do hurry-Charles. do! Mercy on
us! it's sucking bath thumbs i,en
| Charles, runw
Mr.. Phillips caught up the first
articles of clothing he could lay his
hands on, which proved to be his
wife's embroidered petticoat, but he
was in too much hase, and altogether
too much excited to notice dress par
ticularly. He flung the garment over
his head, and tied It around his waist
slipped on his shoes and plunged
into the keen air. The Doctor was
asleep. and did not care about turning
out, but being told that it was a case
oflife and death, he yielded at once.
Mr.. Phillips left him dressing, and
sped to the residence of Granny Bates.
The old lady was wise but she was
very superstitious and believed in
warnings and apparitions. Phillips
gave a laundering rap at her door, and
directly a night capped head appeared
at the upper window.
"What do you want at this time Of
the night and who be ye? said the
prscked voice.
Nplips steppcd out and stood