davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1867-05-22

HWHOU/tCtS me 0tCtt " ms ITEt/Ht NHU
-Nourns-A toUching Obituary.
Posr OFFS CoNFEDRIr Y ROADS, }
(wich is in the Stait NV kentncky.)
May ,, 1861
\ bite hez fallen DER my soul. My
eyes, albeit unused to the metin mood, hev
distilled nothin but tears for twelve hours.
\ Pillar hez fallen In the meetin house
there Is u vacant pew, and chair at Bas
CONS is without setter. Last mite at
precisely nine Z. NJ, Elder Abimileek Cav
lit departed this life, aged 63 years and
some odd months | weep ez write. The
Elder wr,z snuff out jest ez the flowers NV
spring wuz cumin-iest ez the weather wuz
a gittin warm enough to 90 barefooted-
Jest when it wuzen't nessary to bother about
gettin fire wood or to be concerned about
feedin the stock-jest, in fact, when men
begin to enter upon SIX months OF enjoy
ment. Why wuz he taken? Exc ansers.
The ways Nv Providence is inskrootable.
Elder Gavitt wuz native North
karliny, wich Stait he left in the blush NV
early manhood, iist after he wuz married,
Wat he left North Karliny for, | never wuz
able to assertane precisely, but | hev un-
derstood that it wuz Suthin in connection
with a smoke-houSe and the hams wich did
hang therein He wuz in Wing naber-
hood-his naber, the proprietor of the
smoke-house, wuz Whig-ther wuz sum
hams mist-the rinds wuz found in his pos
session-Whig intolerance and persekoOsh
en-. Upon sich site evidence he WIZ adj
Judged guilty NV theft, and wuz ignomini
ously rid on a rale, and ordered TO leave
the country in twenty-tour hours, wich he
did, driftin nat t'rally to Kentucky. Thank
Heaven for sich outrages But for SIGH,
Kentucky wood hev bin Republican State,
or wood hev remained unsettled to this day.
Elder Gavitt wuz alluz a Democrat NV
the strictest sect He voted for jackson,
and reglerly for every Democratic candi-
date sence. He didn't read very much !;
indeed, eff | remember right, he cooden't do
it at all, and WIZ consekently, stedfast in
his faith He wuzen't shook about, and
driven hither and yon by every wind and
remained thro life fast in the groove into
wich he he'd bin origenelly sot. His pol
itikle creed wuz made up NV this one idee,
to-wit: Hatrid Nv Moo England. He hatid
Moo England becoz Moo England hatid
whiskey, wich he cooden't git along with
out, and slavery, Nv wich he he'd hundred
niggers. He voted agin Moo England all
his life reglerly and ez many times on each
eleckshen day ez he Good, without risk.
My acquaintance with the deceest COM
menst about three years ago. 1t wuz at
his house l stopt on my advent into these
parts Their wuz no need Nv formal intro
duckshens-ther wuz already bond atween
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1867-05-22

An effort is making to replace the Pay
son Church, which was burned in the great
Portland fire. by an elegant structure,
worthy of the denomination and fame OF
the celebrated preacher whose name and
memory it will hand down. $4,000 have
already been subscribed for this purpose.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1867-05-22
TERMS FOR ADVERTISING.

For Square OF II lines less OF Nonpareii type
inseTtion Sl00 for each subsequent ertion Is
Unless the number OF Insertions marked on
the advertisement 1t will he continued till ordered out
Liberal discount made and others adveItis
/ Ing by the year.
Probate and Commissioners Notices, S20O each.
For of Liberaons Estrays, the Formation and
Dissolution of Coparinerhps, &c, so h, for three
Insertions, IL by mail the money accompany
he letter.
Notices in columns, 10 cents per lire each nsei
tion, but no charge made of less than SO cents.
Notices OF Deaths and Marriages inserted gratis, bu
extended Obituary Notices Poetry will be charged
the rate of five cents per line.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1867-05-22
From the Toledo Blade.
NaSby.

The DeceqSe of Elder Garut-Mr. Nas5y
annolnces the death Of has Friend and
NoaunS-A touching Obituary.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1867-05-22
IL began the letter by saying ::

Having had a strong desire to become a
Christian for some time, and having STUN
bling blocks in the way, would like to pre-
sent my case to you. provided Won are willing
To answer my question.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1867-04-12
Original 2ostry.
FOR THE COLUMBIAN.
TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE.
HORACE INITIATED.

Whittier, oh WHITTIER maddened, do We run.
The sword unsheathed, the war elmost begun;
Has then too little Anglo-Saxon blood
Been poured on Earth, or mixed with Neptune's
flood?
Not to defend our rights from foreign power,
Not to avenge the insult of an hour.
Not that our flag should float DER Canada,
Or teach fierce Russ the mildness of our sway,
Not to give Mexico code of laws,
Or cen to rise in Irelands noble cause
But TO dissolve, such seem the cruel Fates,
The genial union of these happy States,
Degrade our people to a second place,
And raise above them an inferior race
And cast ten Commonwealths in one fell day,
Beneath the heel of military sway,
Destroy one-half the commerce of the main,
While famine broods above the plundered plain
That faithless Britain may her wish enjoy,
And traitrous Phillips his foul tongue employ,
That stevens may miscegenation prove,
And Sumner for the Ethiop show his love!
The rage of wolves and lions is confined,
They never prey but on different kind;
But these their brethren hate with malice dread
And choose the dark, degraded woly-head;
Make him the idol of the passing hour,
Give him to WELD the Governmental power,
And placed on high, beneath his sacred shade
Worship theGod head they themselves have made
And is it so? Is Anglo-Saxon blood
Pure and unmixed, no longer at the flood?
Think not that Nature to herself untrue,
VIII the great work of centuries undo;
The word of God ye stubborn blockheads see,
For Canaan still shall Japheths servant be!
PuBIIcus
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1867-04-12
WHY WOMEN CANNOT ENTER MA
SONIC LODGES,

When King Solomon was still ayoung
man he had married his seventh wife.
She was beautiful young Ammonitess,
and eyes as bright as the eagles. 1t
was believed that she was the favored
fair one among all the sultanas of the
Great King; for his affections were not
divided then as they afterward became.
She knew her power, and used itunspar-
ingly. In addition to her other qualities,
she was as inquisitive as ever was
woman on this earth.
One evening King Solomon attended
lodge, on some grand occasion, and
stayed out somewhat late. When he
returned home, he found the fair Am
monitess in the dumps, and pouting
justas the dear wives of Masons do some
times now when their lords stay out late
at the Lodge. She upbraided him with
neglecting her, insinuated that he hadn't
been to the Lodge as he pretended, and
insisted that in future he should give
proof that he went there by having her.
self initiated, so that she might go there
and watch him.
daughter of Ammon," replied the
King" thou hast behaved thyself as
one of the foolish women in presuming
to question thy lord and master. Thou
art not so angry with me as thou pre-
tendest to be; for the true reason of
this behavioris thy Unsuitable curiosity,
in which thou eXcellest Eve herself.
Know then, that 1 here ordain that nei-
ther thou, nor any of thy inquisitive sex
after thee shall ever enter the portals of
a Masonic Lodge; but shall enjoin the
Tyler to pierce through with his drawn
sword any woman that shall attempt to
enter lodge; aye, even thee, Queen of
Israel though thou be. And that ordi-
nance of this wisest of monarchs has
continued in force until this day.
We hope, now, that we have satisfied
the curiosity of our fair readers as did
King Solomon that of his Queen.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1867-04-12


CURIOUS SUICIDE.-Some time since
vile, committed suicide for the strange
reason that he had discovered that he
was his own grandfather. Leaving a
dying statement explaining this singu-
lar circumstance, we will not attempt
to unravel it, but give his explanation
of the mixed up condition of his kins-
folks in his own words. He says:
81 married widow who had grown
up daughter. My father visited our
house very often, fell in love with my
step-daughter and married her. So my
father became my son-in-law, and my
step-daughter my mother, because she
was my fathers wife. Some time af-
terward my wife had son; he was my
fathers brother-in law and my uncle,
for he was the brother of my step-moth-
er. My fathers wife-i.e., my step
daughter had also son; he was of
course my brother, and in the meantime
my grandchild, for he was the son of
my daughter. was my wife's husband
and grandchild at the same time. And
as the husband of a PERSONS grand
mother is his own grandfather l was
my own grandfather"
That this was strange condition of
things must be confessed, but we can
see no possible reason why it should
cause man to commit suicide Titus
riWe paper.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1867-04-12

COFFEE AND TEA VS. WHISKY
When DIR. Dodge, an electric physician,
was lecturing through the State on the
evils of tea and coffee, he happened to
meet, one morningat the breakfast table
a witty son of Erin of the bettet class.
Conversation rurned to the doctors
favorite subject, and he addressed our
friend as follows:
"Well, said the doctor, "if l convince
you that they are injurious to your health
will you abstain from their usc?"
''Sure, and L will, SIR"
GLOW often doyou usecofiee and tea:'
asked the doctor.
"Night and morning sir"
"Well," said the doctor, "do you ever
experience slight dizziness of the brain
upon going to bed ?"
81 do,indeed / do" replied Erin.
"And sharp pain through the tenn
pies, in and about the eyes in the
morning?'
"Troth, do so."
"Well," said the doctor, with IN air of
confidence and assurance in his manner,
"that is the tea and coffee"
as it, indeed? Faith, and / always
thought was the whisky drank"
The company roared with laughter,
and the doctor quietly retired.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1867-04-12

AT one time during the war large
number of officers were stopping at the
various hotels in Washington, at the
time perhaps when seven brigadiers
were hit by the stone that missed the
dog at which it was thrown in front of
Wizards. At that time one of these
terrible youngsters was crying in front
of the National" ETtW Ereaing Star,
third edition, another great battle" &c.
An officer coming out Just then, Ia cap
tain,) the boy accosts him with: Colo
mel, have a Star ?" They always in
dulge in little tlattery of breveting
when occasion offers. The officer buys,
and running his eyes over the paper
eagerly, calls out: Here, boy, don
see any battle!" Getting beyond the
range of the officers boot, he, replies
mo, nor you never will, lounging
around this 'crc hotel!"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1867-04-12
TOO MUCH ELEVATION,

In the recent gossippy letter to the
Territorial Enterprise, Dan De guile,
writing from DownievilleSierra county,
gives the following: "Once upon a time"
on a certain Sunday, IA certain doctor
living here, who like the most reckless
ofus occaaionallyge gets forty drops within
him too much and becomesan immt ns,ty
himself, was earnestly discoursing in the
midst of a group of ACQUIRING immen-
stiles upon grand project which he had
just conceived. This great project was
nothing less than digging tunnel from
Downievilleto Forrest City-distance as
the crow flies four miles. Theparty stood
in front of saloon near the end of
Duagan bridge. While the doctor. was
in the midst of speech setting forth the
immense benefits to be derived from
the early ycompletion of this grand enter
prise-which was to tapall the leads and
from an excellent road between the two
townsville minister presiding at one of
the churches in the town crossed the
bridge on his way to church and came
up to the group. Not noticing that the
doctor was much intoxicated, he stop,
ped and listened while to the 'grand
project" At Atlength, taking advantage
ofa pause in the Doctors eloquent ap'
peal in behalf of his darling scheme; he
said: doctor, come with me and | viii
show youa road much more proftableH y
The DOCTORS bump of combativencs'
was at once aroused, "What road il
that, sir what what road is that? p
"Why, Doctor, the road TO Heaven"
"Road to Heaven! go along, it woa'
do-won't do, sir; can't overcome thu
+ elevation !" The minister passed on
!, musing,
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1867-04-12

A WEDDING FEE.-''M Many and many
q year ago." how many deponent saith
not, youthful couple appeared at the
gateway of parsonage of town not a
hundred miles from Harvard. Mounted
on a sober nag, they also claimed COM
panionship with bag, evidently filed
with some valuable commodity. Dis
mounting, the gallant youth left his lady
and the nag, and proceeded up the ave-
nue. of elms leading to the PASTORS door,
pearing, he waived his hand to the
waiting damsel, at the same time call
ing, in stentorian tones, "Come along,
he says he will take beans" Guiding
the steer to the door, the lady was re-
ceived by her would-be lord, and soon.
"the twain were made one flesh," and
the minister was left in possession of
goodly supply of beans,
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1867-04-12

ENGLISH VS.. LATIN.-Once upon
time company were assembled at a
dinner-table down in Georgia, when the
conversation turned upon the compari-
tive merits of the English and Latin
languages. A Latinist led off in enthusi-
astic eulogies upon the power and ver-
satility of his favorite language, and
adduced in illustration the celebrated
dispatch of Caesar: Veni! Vidi! Vicir
"What," said he, "can equal the con-
densed brevity and force of that?" A
guest who had hitherto remained silent,
here joined in the conversation, and said
he could match it with something more.
AS l was nearing certain river the
other day. he went on to observe, met
a country girl with plate of fresh but
ter on her head, who was on her way to
market with it to the village, and who
had Just forded the stream had to cross.
Accosting her, inquired, GLOW high
is the river, and what is the price of
butter?" She instantly replied, "To
my waist, and shilling" The roar
that greeted this indicated popular
vote, and the Latinist subsidized.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1867-04-12

A WITTY clergyman had been lec-
turing one evening in country village,
on the subject of temperance, aud as
usual, after the lecture the pledge was
passed around for signatures.
"Pass it along that way" said the
lecturer, pointing to gang of bloated
"Pass it perhaps some of those
persons would like to join our cause"
"We don't bite bare hook" grutfiy
muttered one of the rummies.
"Well," replied the clergyman, 81
believe there is a kind of fish called
suckers, that do not bite"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1867-04-12
PRICE FIVE CENTS.
Wit and Anmor.
"Ayy ONE WILL DO,

A maiden once of certain age,
To catch husband did engage:
But having passed the prime Of life
In striving TO become wife.
without success, she thought II time
To mend the follies of her prime.
Departing from the usual course
OF point, and such like, for resource,
With all her might, this ancient maid,
Beneath an oak tree knelt and prayed
Unconscious that grave old owl,
Was pcrched above-the mouslng fowll
"Oh give-a husband, give p she cried,
"While yet may become bride,
Soon will my day of grace be DER
And then, like many maids before,
I'll die without an earthly love,
And none to meet me there above!
"Oh tits a fate too hard TO bear;
Then answer this, my humble prayer,
And, oh husband give to mev'
Just then the owl up in the tree,
In deep bass tones, cried, Whoo-tchoo-phoor
"Who, Lord? And dost thou ask me ,chos
Why any one, COED Lord, will do"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1867-04-12

C,ATAWISSA RAILROAD.
I From and after October 9 1865, the trains Will
GoiNG NoRTm-Elmira Mail at Pm; Erie
Express at 9iS Am. 49,, -, !,
GoING SourH.--l'hiladelphi Mall at II AM;
New fork hAp'e'' ~ GEORGE WEBB, supt.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1867-04-12
HOW ABSURD

Our forefathers of the revolution were
certainly great asses when they incorpo-
rated into the Declaration of Indepen-
dencc, the following silly objections to
the conduct of the King of Great Brit
tain:
/. Keeping in the colonies in the time
of peace standing armies.
.. Rendering the military. independ-
ent of, and superior to the civil power.
3. Imposing taxes without allowing
representation
4. The depriving the colonists of the
benefit of trial by jury.
5. For suspending Colonial Lcgisla-
lures.
6. In melting insurrection likely to
result in an undistinguished destruc-
ton of all ages, sexes and conditions.
7. Abdicating government, by de-
claring us out of the mother country.
s. Quartering large bodies of armed
troops on the colonists.
Q. Sending into the colonies swarms
of officers to collect taxes and oppress
the colonists.
10. Refusing to pass proper laws fol-
large districts of people unless they
would relinquish the rightof represent
otion.
II. Obstructing and interfering with
the judiciary, thus denying justice.
II. Interfering with legislative bod
les, and dissolving them for opposing
with manly firmnes invasions of the
rights of the people.
13. Protecting military officers by
mock trials, for offences which they
have committed against the colonists.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1867-04-12
PRICES OF MACHINES.

No. l. Plain.-This Machine makes the lock
and knot stitches, and has the reversible ced'so3
No. q Florence.-Gold-ornam Machine,
with drawer, and light cover, without lock;
makes all the four stitches, and has the re-
Versibe V'o
No. 3.-Silver-pated Machine, ornamented;
table oil finished walnut, with heavy half
case, lock and drawer; makes all the four
stitches, and has the reversible feed........ sSl
No.i-Silver-plated Machine, highly orna-
mented, and makes all the four stitches,
and has the reversible feed.
Polished mahogany table....,.",,..,,.''....''. see
Polished Rosewood Table W
Ne. 5.-Walnut table, in oil...o...'.'',',"'".'' w
Mahogany table, in W
Rosewood table, in oil lol
No. 6-Walnut oil finished. ia
Nahoganv table. ........,,.,.......... l2i
Rosewood table. l5C
G.. q. EVANS, General Agent,
$50 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1867-04-12


TIE FAMOUS JUGGLERs.-The Phila-
delphia Bulletin has New York corre-
spondent who has seen the japanese ac-
robats. He says:
"They are small in stature, of a sal
low complexion, with high cheek-benes
and almond-shaped eyes, and wear their
hair after the manner of those who ac-
companied the embassy to this country
in 1860. There are about twenty-four
in the troup, among them three females
all of whom are said to be expert Jug
glers- They wear cotton clothes, with
wooden clogs for shoes. Their habits
and customs are somewhat curious.
Their beds, of blue cotton cloth, stuffed
about as thick as chair cushions, are
spread upon the floor, and each one rolls
himself up in his blanket to suit himself.
Upon the walls of their apartments is
hung tin case containing three cards,
with japanese characters on each, tho
whole affair resembling one of our per.
petual calendars, found in almost every
counting room. Before this they fal
down and worship, or at least pay theil
morning dcvotions, regularly. ThC
chinese jugglers, remember, carried
their gods along with them, but if there
is any "Josh" along with the Japs,
failed to discover him. They are ve..
polite, much more soindeed, than thei
American visitors They appear to b
very clean, and like plenty Offrcsh air
persistingin keeping the windows open
though shivering with cold in their cot
ton dresses. The first thing they in
quired for after landing was q bathing
house."
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1867-04-12
~ b. BROCKWAH,
ATToRNEY AT LAW,
pJpoMSRITRG. PA,

a1- OPFIoE-Court House Alley, below the o.
hribidn Office Authorized agent for the coieci
other demands against the state and Nat9S1Ai
Governments l'an'"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1867-04-12

G.. q. EVANS, General Agent,
$50 Chestnut Street, Philadelphia.
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1867-03-28
G UTION

can not be personally acquainted with the charac-
ter and standing OF all agents, aud I therefore
think it proper advise those wishing tckss to pro-
only from persons that thew feel confident will
make due returns Tickets that not paid for re
remembered, and the gifts delivered - the persons
who paw for them. When doubts are entertained az
10 the honesty of agent. II Is best send the
money direct to me. Send tor tickets at once as the
distribution will positively be made as thew
are all sold. without regard to date. Agents must
make report every week.
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1867-03-28
How to Raise Large Potato Crops.

VOw " Osss0 IsISe sVseO S'Ops
It'll. desirable, not only to get the best
varieties OF seed, but TO know low to
plant them and to raise the largest and
best crop.
The method pursue, and which pays
better, fsr better, than say Of She Old
systems generally praciced, is as fol-
lows:
L. In the Fall, pillow deeply and sub
soil pillow, in all Is to - inches in depth
2 In early Spring, pillow and. sub,soil
across the winter burrows. harrow and
roll 90 seg ra4 vn
3. Mark out, as for corn, 5 feet apart
each way, open the burrows eight inches
deep. q M q Il - sA@A
T. At the intersection drop whole
potato. the largest you have, and spread
upon it handful (about 40 bushels per
acre) Of compost manure of eight parts
Of wood ashes, four of bone phosphate
Of Nine, four Of ane ground plaster, two.
Of finely Stacked lime, and one Of salt
or, II preferred, 8 ounces OF artificial fer
tilizer per hill. Then cover, roll, and
spread 900 lbs, per acre of good artifi
cial fertilizer.
5. As soon as the young plants start,
run the cultiyator close to and between,
but over them, in each direction. After
wards, and before the weeds come up,
cultivate both ways, with knox's horse
hoe--so arranged as to cut as shallow
AZ possible, and keep the surface entire.
~ fat Repeat this at short intervals,
three times.
g. As soon as the tops are dead, dig
in clear dry weather with heavy five
tined digging forks; spread, cover to
dry, and store in cool, dark, dry, airy
cellar, spreading half a pint OF freshly
Stacked lime in powder on each bushef
Of potatoes.
7. Gather and compact and dry tops,
for application next autumn, then plow
and subsoil as before, for next years
crop.
The following are the advantages of
this system of cultivation:
L. No ioSoAuic ShtiiS ~ VIC
crop.
= No rot in healthy varieties.
;. The largest yield the soil and va
rieties are capable Of. EI CEA~g y
4. The largest portion of large pota-
toes.
). No degcneracy of varieties, but
continued Improvement.
&. No necessity for rotation of crops !;
the potato can thus be grown almost
indefitely upon the samel land, with per
haps, at long intervals. seeding of
clover to maintain the supply of vegeta
BILE fibre in the soil.
Z. No loss by the late Spring frosts.
II the early growth is cut off. the dor
mant eyes will grow and the crop be
saved.
7. The greatest economy of culture
and harvesting.
.. Tho highest table quality of po
tatocs.
If the materials Of the compost can
not be obtained, top dress heavily in the
fall, after blowing with barn manure,
but never use it in the season Of plant
ing. 1t may increase the crop, but tends
to engender disease, especially in the
season. H
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1867-03-28

suckrHoRN sALvE,

BUCKTHORN SALvE,
For Cuts, Burns, Bruises, Wounds, Boils, Cancers
Broken Breasts, Sore Nipples. Bleeding, Blind and
Painful Piles Scrofuous Putrid and Ill conditioned
Sores Ulcers Ganduar Swellings Eruptons, Gu
taneous Affections Ringworm. Itch Corns, Bunions,
Chilbains &C.; Chapped Hands. Lips, &C.; Bites of
Spiders, Insects, Animals, &C., &c.
E~ Boxes, 25cts., 5Octs., and 81 sizes.
EB Sold by all Druggists everywhere.
zo- And by HENRY r. CoSTAR, Depot 4s4
Broadway NY
rD- And by J. w. Plummer, and samson d
Ross, Richmond. Ind.