The Fairfield herald. [volume] (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1849-1876, 1867-06-12

Gown by her anG, clinchcd the bargain
with kiss. Talk about yer sugar,
talk about yer molasscs, talk about
nitc-blooming serious they want no
whore you couldn't have got INC to
come nigh 'cm they would tasted
| sour after that.
.! broomstraws with sorghum las
scs on 'cm lif Sal's daddy hadn't
bnwlcd out-"Its time for all honest
folks to be in bed, do believe Id
stayed all mite.
a Doctor was summoned TO n co,tarc
ut llarwood, in England and found 4
boy in need Of his services.
"ohow your tongue" said the doc.
TOR.
The boy stared like an owl.
My good boy, let me see your
tongue, repeated the doctor.
"rak English doctor" SAID the
mother, and then, turning to her son,
said, "Hop"n thy gobbcr aud push oui
thy lolliller."
the mouth flew open, and the doctor
was terribly taken in"
81 say, you Sam Johnsing, docs YOU
know anything about this woman, Pol.
ly Ticks, dat wh;te people talk so much
about ?" "Wcll, 7 doesn't. Yon are
too hard for dis child dis time o"Whv,
sam, tort yon l<nowcd cbrry ,iny"-
so doz. ] knows Polly Jones, what
sells coffee in the vegetable market.
aud knows Polly Tonson. wha, does
gwyin out to days work np in Canal
street; ; when it comes to Polly
Ticks, I'm hodcred Guess you'd bet.
ter "& white folks, Pete; dcy peer to
know all about her"
GooD.-A candidate for Office, canvassino
his district for voters, came upon roor
nv. White, who had % vote to cast. Poor
White was milking when Mr.. Onice seeker
found him,
"Sl,an't hold hcr?" asked he, sccinr
the animal was uneasy The old man con-
sentcd; the Office seeker took tho COW bv
the horns and the man proceeded with his
milking.
"lIave yon had Young around here latc-
~ q asked The candidate presently, refer
ring to his rival.
:" Oh, yes" said the old man, "hc's
'N''" wv ""'" hotolhB Inc calf j.
The Japanese are polite, and at tho
same time inquisitive. They salute
one upon the slightest prctcxt, by plac-
ing the hands upon the knees, shutting
hall up like well oiled jack-knifc,
delivering the word 'Ohio'' in thcir
most seductive tones. They will
mount your porch and peer steadfastly
through your parlor windows until
they arc discovered, when, instead of
being abashcd, they smile with singu-
lar sweetness and look again.
A thickly populated house is said
to stand in Worcester, Mass. A pa
per published there says in n two
story tcncment-houso there li-,n 10
families, who arc the pos, s e
twentv-four hogs, twon'v,ry, ,us.
live ducks and one COW, al i whom.
both human beings and auimaIs, live
ina single room.
a young lady ;sNe1 n gentleman
the meaning of the word "surropotc.n
and nc explained it to hor as "a gate
through which prrtics 90 to got mar
red" "Then [ imaginc," said the
lady, "that it is corruption of tho
work 'sorrowgatc.'" ''You aro right"
SAID he, cas- woman is an abreyiotion
OF woe to man."
During q great storm on tho Pocifc
Ocean, q vessel was onco wrecked. and
embarrassing to and fro on plank.
exclaimed, over tho crest of wave. to
another who was drifting by on q bar
rel
"Friend, dost thou call this sfnci-
Gc?'" ''' "o'
"Hould on |" said Patrick. as bo
stood looking after tho departed train,
motlonlng it to stop. "IIould on. We
muthorin old strange ingon wees eot
a passenger aboard that's left Be-
hind %
Describing q new organ, n country
editor saws: "rhc swell died awav
IN delicious sulfoca,ior like ono sinG.
ing sweet song under tho bed
clothes"
.
~ Yankee being asked to describe
MS wife, said, "Why, sir, she'd make a
regular fast, go-ahcad steamer, NV
vile wonld, she has such wonderful
talcntfor blowing up
A barber in Chicago has been mado
to pay $4,000 for cutting OFF d cds-
toner's ear, :
Coy Burnside, of Rhodo island,
was inangurated for his second torn
on Tuesday.
Nny is newspaper like wifo?
his own, = Vl'V ~