The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1867-06-04
MAh. Sir! Mum,s the Worh.,,

"Ah, Sir! NUNS the Word"
THE ship of state let go it's moorings yester-
day, and after drifting for twenty-four hours,
came to anchor at Raleigh. Previous, how
ever, to reaching its destination it let off steam
several times, and the similarity of its signals
was as striking as that of the whistle of the
engine of vessel. With the experience of
trip around the circle to aid him, the
Secretary of State adopted the ousto-
mary plan of etiquette when minister is
presented, and wrote out the Presidents
speech. But we think that variety is the
spice of life. Mr.. Seward might have done
better than merely taking half a dozen
proofs of the same grafton, and dealing one
out at Richmond another at Raleigh, and
third slip at Marlborough Hotel. The idea of
words not being able to express his feelings, ap-
propriate and original as it was when got off
for the first time, don't look well in print,
it having been delivered no less than three
times in one day. True it is, that the phrase
ology was slightly altered. At Richmond he
said, 81 have no language adequate to express
my feelings and emotions on this OCCASION"
At Raleigh it read:-'It would be affectation
in me were to say l was Indifferent or insen-
sible to this manifestation" We think, Mr..
President, it would not only be affected, but
decidedly rude; while at Marlborough Hotel it
was dressed in new shape, and appeared as:
-'I confess that, under the circumstances,
am inspired with emotions which language is
wholly inadequate to express" So far, the
President certainly was non-committal in his
language, and was acting on the Tai
leyrand theory that "Words were invented to
conceal, not convey IDEAS
But the great event was not yet reached.
The formal reception was to be responded to
by formal speech; aud in order that the
classic streets of Raleigh might hear nothing
vulgar, the President was compelled to have
recourse TO the Dictionary of Familiar Quo
tatons, " and to compose a speech which might
be described to be literary enigma:-My first
is trite extract from Shakespeare My
second, the stalest quotation from Scott My
third, a cOnundrum from a milkmaid's bal
lad; and so on through the grafton. But let
us look at the address itself, in its own words.
The President says
"When looking back forty years ago, and
returning here to-day, 1 begin to inquire where
are those left behind? In the language OF
poetry itself, The friends of my childhood
where are they? Echo answers. where? Some
hare en0rated and gone to other Lnnds. Some
have complied with the ineXorable and irresis-
tible call, and have passed TO that undiscovered
country from whose bourne no traveller re-
turns. 1 again ask, friends of my childhood,
Hunters, and Lanes? Where are the Pearcss,
the Boysters, and Smiths, and Joneses?"
Now if the good people of Raleigh had an
ticipated such poser of a question, they
would probably have prepared a catalogue of
the tombstones of the last forty years, to
enlighten the President as to those who have
gone to that oft-talked-of bourne, and secured
the services of one of the spiritual Foxes or
Homes or Davenports, to discover the where
abouts of those who have ''emigrated," and
also those who have "gone to other lands"
for the two classes are distinct or else the
President would not have made so marked
difference between them. We pity the dis
comfited Raleighites at their being caught
wanting in foresight.
It is all very well for the President to pre-
tend he has spent his life in the country, but
he does not keep up the character. For
instance every child knows that if you sing
out, ''The friends of my childhood-where are
they 9'' Echo, if she answer at all, will
reply, care they ?" and not, as the Presi-
dent says, "Where 2'' If the President
doubts our word let him try it for himself
We are indignant at this disregard for the
simplest law of acoustics.
Not content with propounding the general
conundrum to his old play-fellows, with whom
he used to "engage in athletic sports,' he de-
sires yet more to vaunt his superiority be-
fore them, and starts a series of special queries
-"Where are the Haywards, Hunters, and
Lanesl Where are the Pearces, the Registers,
the Smiths, and JSne, es ?" Now the Hay
wards might be discovered, and the Hunters
tracked, and the Lanes followed to their ends.
So might the Pearces be produced, and the
Registers followed to their untimely graves, if
they did not belle their names. All this
was possible, and the President saw
that they might answer his ques-
tions, but with maliciousness which makes
us blush for the corruption of the Presidential
heart he added, "Where are the Smiths
and Joneses ?" The distracted listeners
unanimously gave it up. We might aid the
President did he desire to continue the in
teresting investigation, and state that we have
| 100 Smiths and 1900 Joneses in Philadelphia
Where the rest are we do not know. We