The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1867-06-19

From Soah's New York Times &
Messenger, of this week, we take the
following question and answer:
OuEsTIoN.-"I have several very gen.
tlemanly admirers, either of whom
any lady. might be proud to be allied
to. have the greatest esteem for them,
and have never hirted or tritied with
them, although our families are upon
the most intimate terms. l have reason
to believe that they have all made up
their minds to make proposals for my
hand, and would do SO as soon as their
tImidity was sufficiently overcome.
Now, Mr.. Editor, I only love one Of
my heart. I was tremblingly hoping
that he would be the first TO offer Kim
self to me. He was not, however; for
one of the others, having good oppor-
tunity, yesterday placed his hand and
heart at my disposal. Notwithstand-
ing had been expecting 1t, cannot
deny that was overcome and confused,
and tears came to my eyes. After 1
had recovered my self-possession,
answered him in something like the
following terms: my dear friend, the
greatest compliment that ever man
could pay to a woman is to believe her
worthy enough and to desire to be his
wife. lam proud, and feel the distinc-
tion of being preferred over many in
shall regret very much II, in declining
an offer SO advantageous and 30 fatter-
ingly made, (which 1 am compelled to
do, having my affections irrevooably
placed upon another, } II shall cause one
unhappy feeling He left me SORROW
fully, and on his account l felt almost
as bad as he did, for he was truly an
amiable and unexceptionable young
man. His sister was very desirous that
should marry him, and censured me
quite good deal for what she termed
my coldness to her poor brother. Have
1 done wrong, Mr.. Editor7 Could do
anything else, under the circumstances?
should be glad to have your opinion
and advice as to the future, for feel
as though my troubles are not all end
ed yet" ... ....I. 'yg
ANswER.-If you really and truly
love one man, never marry another,
unless you wish to invite connubial
misery. Believe us sincere when we
assure you that there is no permanent
happiness whatever in the married
state unless both parties to the condition
heartily love each other. That state
contains 80 many trials of temper, of
the spirit of forbearance, and of the
power of endurance; it exacts SO many
self-sacrifces, SO many crushings out
of fond dreams and romantic aspira-
faith, so much patient submission, tEat
nothing but an ardent mutual affection
can render it what it ought to be, u
sphere of unselfish, dual felicity. And
yet, If the one you love will not pro-
pose, 1t is not wise to reject ever eligible
offer; for you may be yet young and
not thoroughly certain of the state Of
your heart. You may find it easy
enough to forget the one you think you
love, and by intimacy with another you
esteem, grow to love the latter passion
ately. The direct plan, therefore, is to
vaguely acquaint the one you love with
the offer you have just had and the Of
fers that you fear will be made, and
suggest that he should also make an Of
fer, SO as TO give you a fair chance to
make a selection. Tell him laughingly
that you will give him just a week to
add his proposal to the rest, and If you
do it neatly, he will be at your feet as
soon as you give him the opportunity.