Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1867-03-28
Odds and Ends.

War is net the game of ''live and
let live
Charity covers multitude of sins,
the tailor, sinners.
The richer a man makes his food,
the poorer he makes his appetite.
| Live within your means, if you
would have means within which to
live.
If you would be nothing, just wait
to be something.
The rat that has but one hole is
soon caaght
Have the courage to speak to
friend in seedy coat, even though
you are in company with rich one,
and richly attired.
Have the courage to wear old
clothes until you can pay for new
ones.
Have the courage to do without
that which you do net need, however
much your eyes may covet it.
An absent minded man, on falling
iato the river, sank twice before he
recollected that be could swim.
A young physician asking permis-
sion of lady to kiss her, she reph-
ed: mo, sir, never like to have a
doctors bill thrust in my face"
1t is so hilly in some parts of New
Hampshire that the people lock up
the chimneys to see when the COWS
come home.
Wanted-Some of the beer pro-
dueed when mischief is brewing.
''John has signed 3the pledge"
said Thad to Charles. ''Glad of it"
responded the latter, 1T will bring
down the price Of drinks for the rest
of u.s."
"1'm afraid you'll come to want"
said an cid lady to young gentle
man. 81 have come to want al.
ready" was the reply, II want your
daughter"
A young lady down East advertis-
es for a young man that embraces
an opportunity" and says, "If he
will come over to our town he can do
better"
"Ain't it wicked to rob dis chicken
roestT' "Dat am a great moral
question, Gumbo; and we amt no
time to arguefy it now; hand down
another pullet-"
A lady was asked to JOIN one Of
the divisions of the Daughters of
Temperance. She replied: That is
unnecessary, as it is my intention to
jsin one of the Sons in the course of
few weeks"
The Ladies-May their virtues ex-
ceed even the magnitude of their
skirts, while their faults be still small
er than their bonnets."
A western editor thinks that Pow
ers is swindler, because he chisel-
ed an unfortunate Greek girl cut of
block of marble.
There is danger of being too neat.
1t is said, an old lady in Holland
scrubbed her sitting room floor until
she fell through into the cellar.
The most remarkable case of in
decision we have heard of, was that
of man who satup all night, because
he could not decide which to take off
first, his coat or boots.
A man recently knocked down an
elephant? He was an auctioneer.
"Doctaw, doctaw," said an exquis-
it, the other day, 81 want you to tell
me what to- put in my head to make it
all right2'
at wants nothing but brains,"
said the physician.
If you want to know how quick
you can run mile, tell red headed
Biddy that her baby squints.
An Illinois Hoesier, in describing
a gale Of wind, said that white dog,
while attempting to breast the storm,
was caught with his mouth wide open
and turned completely inside out.
"Pray," inquired one minister of
another, seeing so many ladies at
tend his church, "Why do you in
variably address your congregation
as dear brethern?" 80, the answer
is easily given" he replied, ''the
brethren embrace the sisters"
A gentleman at the opera, the
other night, in sounding the praises
Of a new opera glass which he had
Just purchased, said: "Why, bless me
It brings the ladies on the opposite
,ide of the house so near that I can
smell the musk on their pocket hand
1erchiefs, and hear their dear little
hearts beat"
"My good fellow" said one man
% another, slapping him on the
"yeu are enc of the men
We read of" "How so?" inquired
he other, "where did you read of
ne2" ''In the police report"
Have you heard of the Bowery boy
Who, being cut short in hard life by
! sore disease, which quickly brought
lin to deaths door, was informed by
lis physician that medicine could do
lothing for him whats my
.aance, docter2" '.Not worth speak
ng Of" sOne in twenty?" "Oh
TO-" sin thirty?" "No." "Fifty"
/ think not" ''A hundred?"-
We'll perhaps there may be onein
lundred" 81 say then, DOCTOR"
,ulling him dewn and whispering
With feeble earnestness in his ear,
just 60 it like all thunder on that
ne chance" The doctor "went in"
nd the patient recovered.
The Western men were rough $50
we're the bars" They had returned
rom their mirigations, whittier the