The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1867-08-13
MRS. BROWNS VISIT TO THE PARIS
EXHIBITION.

MRS. BRO WIS VISIT TO THE PARIS
Exhibition.
don't think, Mr. Scratchley, as ever shall
'old up my 'ead agin, as the sayin' is, for of all
the dead beat feelns as ever l had, this is the
Wust, and do, assure you as now I've got
onto this chair, feels as tho I'd took root in
it, for l never did see sicn place as this Paris
for knockin' any one up, as well remembers
the last time as / were here, crippled me for
months, and certingly 1 WOW and declare as
nothink wouldn't make me come ere agin; and
when Brown come in and said as he was a-goln'
TO Paris, says, "Well tben," says, "leave me
at 'ome;" but you see as 'uman natur is weak,
and 'ere l am, tho only arrived the night afore
last, and wouldn't ave believed it, only Brown,
he says as it would be sin and a shame
for to miss such a chance of goin there for next
to nothnk
says, Whatever do you mean by next to
nothink ?"
why" says Brown there's party in the
name of Cook as makes escursions all over the
Morld.n
/ says, 'Then Pm glad as 1 amt lis good lady;
butt says, do you mean to say as ne makes
escursons all over the world, ike as they did
used to take US to the Rye 'Ouse of Whit Mon
dayN And well | remembers poor Mrs. Alder,
the butchers lady, as pitched out of the wan 'ead
foremost thro' a9retchin' out too far for to look
at the view, and ii she 'adn't stuck between the
two sharfts and the losses tails, must ave been
trampled to death in an instant, as shows as it's
mercy sometimes for TO be a lusty tgger, the same
as Mrs. Beaes, as trod on one ofthem round irons
in the pavement as they lets the Goals down
thro', aud If she'd teen inch less round the
waist wouldn't never AVE Jung there a-danglin',
till drawed up, thro' passin' of clothes line,
under Ter arm 'oles, as cut Ter dreadful, but bet
ter any 'ow than violent death.
Brown. quite done A.
clackin', p'raps you'll listen to reason, as amt
thing to be looked tor in a woman
says, Mr.. Brown, you're mighty clever, no
doubt; but If you're a-going to insult my sect,
don't want to hear no more about it."
He says, "Oh pray, don't 'earif you don't like:
but he says, 'as several friends Of yourn is
a-goin', l thought p'raps as you'd like the trip,
and all done with no trouble nor espence."
] says "Whoever is agoin' 2"
''Well," he says, "there's Mr. and Mrs. Paine,
and Miss Tredwell, and Mr. and Mrs. Archbutt,
says, 81 amt no objection to the Archbutts,
nor yet to Mrs. Wells, out as to Ter husband, he's
reglar hidiit, and that Miss Tredwell is iirt."
He says, 81 never did ear such woman to
find fault as you are, Martha. Why, you'd find
out blemishes in hangel.n
says, ''That amt Miss Tredwell tho you are
always a-cryin' Ter up, for she's no hangel.n
Tho the moment as 'eard she were a-goin, I
says, ''rm there for wasn't agoin' to let 'er
ave chance of pisonn' Browns mind agin me,
as / knowd as she'd glory in, tor tho' not a
cause; yet it's more than flesh and blood can
stand, to think as your own husbands been
set agin you, with nobody nigh for to take your
part
So says, "Well then, Brown, let's 'ear about
it."
"wen," he says, '4rs Cooks escursiOn, as ]
were a-sayin'.n
"Ah.n says, 'Iets 'ope there amt too MANY
cooks, as we all knows will spile the broth;" as
Pm sure, Mr.. Scratchley, is true with these ere
French, as is all cooks; and | never tasted sich
rubbish as their broth, as they calls bullion az
don't taste of notnink but water and grease, as
they'll lap up by the quart, as can't do 'em nc
good"
me. 'Are YOU a-goini to listen or nOtyn
says, "You needn't be down my throat, jes
COS opens my mouth"
NO" says, 'you esplain it clear TO me-"
''Wel, then,n he says, you can go and SCI
this ere Exhibition in Paris, and stop week
for about five pounds as is cheap"
"Yes," | says, .'but none OF their dirty 'oles Il
live in, and all manner Of beastliness for to eat
as the very sight on gives me the orrors."
He says, "pve heard say as everything is tust
rate, and as Mr.. Cook looks arter it all ITSELF,
is 'ghly respectable party"
'Wen," | says, ~ should 'ope so, or else yoI
won't ketch me a.alanderin about Paris witt
him, as is bold place; and you do ought for Il
be VERY careful 'ow you goes on, for then
foreigners is lot as makes uncommon free."
"Well," says Brown, II don't think as youl
ketch any one a'makin' too free with you in
'urry.n
"Ah," says, "Brown, there was a time whe
YOU wouldn't ave spoke that light about itn
''Yesn he says that were atore you took {
front" and bursts out a-lardn', as 'urt M
feelins', though wouldn't let i'm see it,
''Well," he says, "are you agreeable fo
says, 81 am, Brown, thro' 'avin vowed fC
on oh he says ''dOnt mind that's stop at ION
saws. mo, Mr.. Brown, ] goes where yC
ooes. and stops where you stops"
"Wel then" he says, 'be ready by satu
day." =. . dow 90 luras 20 Loo,
ONE. ,,,u 90, &c u,ara o.ooin,
coivrday. and so it turned out, for on Frld
eSeuiH Brown said as we wasn't to start till t
Tuesday follerin'. A. tina Cor 90
reaSv and certingly must say as Mrs. Port'
is the aundres Sd got %s ap swo @os oTnR
UiioS Nth green aud the other blue, WI
Iergge waller leaf a-runnin' AL over u; -
iisS ! wouldn't AVE NO scarcity OF clothes SO 70