The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1867-01-24
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around loose, but at Grand NASRhr-
ade and Fancy Dress Ball, few night
since, we happened to express our re-
tErcts at Tins dekeieheyf N our education
to a young, plump, fresh and closely dom,
inoed creature dressed as an Injun girl,
while we were promenading the vast
,;asssxita the luscious humsy-dumpsy.
She sweetly intimated that the hubbub
of such an occasion, when Jaa1 pas
would scarcely be noticed, was the very
best time in the world to learn. We
would not acknowledge our name if we
had backed ont from such an offer, and
Us matterof course, we very shyly re.
euested her to afford us the sublimely
perpendicular pleasure of a small
lie sson, merely for the purpose G
getting acquainted with each other
and giving us relish for our victual;
/ at supper. Sweet and gorgeous
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. swearing she'd ne'el
consented-do so. Gently, delicately
fastidiously and timidly we placed oul
arm around her plant waist-and al
most wasted away. Her long raven
locks tickled our elbow. Thousands oi
millions of spotted beads vibrated and
tinkled around her fairy form, as bel
bosom rose and fell to give them melody
like an Eolian harp upon heavine
sea. Her hand was in ours-as soft q.
pussy cats back, as she silently
watches O mouse hole ut the soft and
witching hour of twilight. Her left
foot was against our right boot. The
gaudy feathers upon her moccasins
tickled our manly knees. Our eyes met
Two soft and melting glances shot out
of the holes in her domino-and coming
together in the middle emitted sparks
like . big steamer rounding to at the
wharf-boat on q dark night in tho lat
ter part of December. Music arose with
its voluptuous swell and drew nearer un.
to us,-and we arose with our vOluptu-
Gus swell and drew nearer unto the fe.
male red man. Her warm breath was
upon our fingers and her long raven
hair went flippyty- flop over our shoulder
We had not yet waltzed an inch. and
we didn't care Confederate bond If we
never moved from that spot, till Jimmy
Wharton joined the Sens of Temper
ance. We shook back our curling locks,
and Immediately the Odor of Martha
Washington's Hair Restorative, for sale
by all respectable druggists, distilled
upon the air. We bowed low our edi-
torial head, and whispered in q voice
whose dulcet and mellihuous notes
would have melted the heart of deputy
acknowledgements child of the for
est, whose ancestors discovered Column
bus, would we We're a glove upon that
hand, that We might touch that
cheek-would we were pair of mecca
sins upon those feet, that we might ca
ress thy corns-would We were a hank
of yarn strung, with spotted beads, that
we might eneircle that form-would we
were long bunch of raven hair, that
we might flop around that neck-would
we were an open barrel of golden syrup,
that thou might dip thy finger in us and
lick it-would We were corOnet, that
we might rest upon that brow--would
we were a roll of greenbacks, that we
might stay in thy pocket-would we
were a brindle dog, that we might guard
thy wigwams-would we were a big
black ROSTERS tail, that we might dan
gle near thy face-would we were an
Indian chief"
Thus far we spaketh, and she sighed.
Her ruby lips did part, and she speak
eth, "If you are done wooding up, we'd
better let in, for the music is wasting
away Our two hearts beat with such
responsive throbs, that a creased case
knife could not have entered between
the throbs. 1t seemed as if ten thou
sand caterpillars were emigrating up
our back, and turtle doves were picking
meal bran ont of our ears. Huge signs
of the size Of rutabag turnip escaped
our lips; heard murmuring brooks,
whispering boughs, and warb!ing birds,
and tinkling COW bells, and we foated
far away on a feecy cloud of one hun
dred dollar greenback bills. The music
ceased, but the hall kept on Waiting.
The Indian maid sought her native for
ests, and we are carried by our friends
to the office, with a cramp in the bottom
of our feet, and our eyes turned wrong
side outwards.
BadgerinR Wituesses.
The American system of jurisprudence