The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1867-11-21
HUMOROUS.

=
! torted Mrs. Darlington. turning up
/ her nose, haven't 1 a cousin a. = a
corridor in the navy.
In is related of two. cid Scotch min
listers, that the one asked the other if
he was not sorely tempted at times to
| 60 fishing on Sunday afternoon. Oh,
mon, replied his fellow laborer, +" L m
never tempted lang-I just gang.
AN ingenious mechanic has applied
| for a patent on machine to pop the
question. 1t will enable the most
difhdent of young men to pop off with
courage and certainty their : life, lib
erty, and the (further) pursuit of
| happiness. .tas'*
| PHILOSOPHERS have speculated as
to whether men become beasts after
their death; but let us reflect how
often they make beasts Of themselves
before it! .-ea
9 WHATS that picture on2" said
countryman In print store, to the
proprietor, who was turning over some
engravings. - That, sir, /" said the
dealer, : is Joshua commanding the
sun to stand still" Du tell! Well,
which is Josh, and which is his SOM"
A LADY called at a store, recently.
and inquired of a, young clerk for
crewel. =" Not willing to appear ig-
norant, nor exactly comprehending
her, he handed down a regular twist
ed cowskin. y " Why" said the
lady, THAT is not what want"
We'll, replied the boy. "that is the
cruelest thing [ know Of"
IS AN exquisite divine put the finish
ing touch to. a marriage ceremony,
when he concluded by saying, /" T pro-
nounee Eou husband and lady. -
A GREAT thinker has said that .sego-
tism is an infrmity that perpetually
not bear to think Of anything but
himself, nor even to suppose. that
others do" x-.ee -
SOME wise man takes the following
view of the economy question:
" When you see man spending two
or three dollars week foolishly, the
chances are five to one that he will
live long enough to know how many
cents there, are in a dollar; if he
don't he is pretty sure to bequeath
that privilege to his widow
NOTHING ike love and hunger to
drive man mad or make him happy.
Next to a feast upon a seventeen year
old pair of lips under the grape vines,
by moonlight, is foray upon plat
ter of cold beans after fishing ali day
for suckers The one fills the poetic
heart, and the other an empty stom-
aeh.
REGULATED affections are as neces-
sary as regulated morals, and when a
mind has been spent and FILTERED for
years on a number of objects, there
respond to any feeling, and will re-
main inert and colorless, without aim
or hope, having satiated itself on the
most unwholesome diet which the
world could prepare for it.
TEACH child that there is harm'in
everything, however innocent, and as
soon as it discovers the cheat, it won't
see sin in anything. That's the rea-
son deacons' sons turn out well, and
preachers daughters are married
through window.
A NOTED politician was recently
caught by friend in the act of perus- |
ing the Scriptures. Upon asking him
what particular portion of the good |
book he had selected for examination. |
he replied, " | am reading the story
about the loaves and fishes"
JONES complained of bad smell |
about the Post Office, and asked |
Brown what it could be. Brown |
didn't know, but suggested that it |
might be caused by the dead |
letters
A YOUNG lady being engaged to be
married, and getting sick of the bar
gain, applied to friend to help her
to unite the knot before it was too |
late. %, certainly" he replied. 8 It's
very easy to unite it now while it's a
beau"
A FoUR-YEAR old, who was visiting
at one of her aunt's, and having a very !
gay time with a little girl who was
there, when coming into the room
where her aunt was, she said: "Oh.
we do have such sptashes oflaughing."
dad" said an incipient legislator
to his indulgent parent, who had I
gratiied him with a visit to the gall
ferries of the capitol, s'' say. do Won See see
any row going on? | don't" " No."
not. Why do you ask? cause
eyes have it. and just now he said
the nose had It; SO thought there
was some fun down there some'ers!