The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1867-05-16
hDit on0 Gumor.

Can the suns character bo eonsid.
cred spotless.
The man Is not always thief who
steals march.
Why is kissing like a victory?
les easy to grant (Graut.)
Punch says the Mornons have
Utahlised their territory.
Why is life the riddle Of all riddles?
Because wo must give il up.
A cross grained old bachelor says
that "tin' is the favorite belle metal
now a days.
"Here's to internal improvements,
as Dobbs said when he swallowed a
dose Of salts.
Why is the hedge. hog Of vegetable
origin2 Because bo is tho offspring
of Prickly pear (pair)
Some minds are like rivers, they
need an embankment, to make them
keep the ehauncl, and rendes the
stream uavigable.
Hood speaks Of a bird building
its nest on the ledge over the door Of
doctors Office as an attempt to rear
It's young in the very jaws Of death /
A vagabond poet says; "The cas-.
lest way to got a living is to sit on
gate and wait for good luck. In case
good luck don't coma along you arc
no worse of than you we're before"
A man has applied for divorce
from his wife at Chicago, on tho
ground of extreme cruelty. She has
"walloped" him regularly for nine
teen years, until, having the spirit Of
a man, he won't stand it any longer.
cam 1 not little pale ?" inquired
lady, who was short and corpuleut,
Of crusty old bachelor. you look
more like big tubl" was the blunt
reply.
Quilp thinks it rather remnrkabIo
that while several thousand feet. aro
required to make one rood, a single
foot properly applied, is often sufhc-
lent to mase one civil.
An Ir;shman applying for license
to sell spirits, being questioned as to
his moral character and-Atuess for the
trust, replicd; "Oeh, an its there ye
arej suru an its not much of a char
actor a man nades to sell whiskeyr'
A country paper in Wisconsin, says
that the Legislature Of that State
adjourned non compose" This is
about as bad as the statement made
by the ohairman of meeting held in
Chapman Hall in this city about six
teen years ago, declaring certain
resolution "passed erin con.
Babies resemble wheat in many
respects. Firstly-neither good for
much till they arrive at maturity;
secondly--both are bred in the house,
and also the flower of the family
thirdly both have to be cradled;
fourthly-both are generally we'll
thrashed before they are done with.
"Can you tell how old the devil
is?" asked an irreverent fellow of a
clergyman. any friend, you must
keep your own family record" was
the reply.
A learned young lady the other
evening astonished the company by
asking for the "loan bfa diminutive,
argeniferous, truneated cone, convex
on its summit, aud semiperforated
with symmetrical ia ientations." Sho
wanted thimble.
Ola Cooper is D1tchman, aud
like many another of whatever ma.
tionality, has wife that is ''some."
One day the old man got into soms
trouble with a noighbor, which result
ed in fight. The neighbor was get-
ting the best Of the cd mar, was re-
sisting his antagonist bravely, wheu
his wifc broke out with: "J.ie still,
Cooper; if he kills you, I'll sue him
for damages"
A Dutdhman having caught his son
in doing wrong, determined to adj
minister dose of hickory, So he
trimmed switch aud went TO lock
for the youngster, who iEcoutinsni,v
took to his heels. After ,iasi.x
the boy around for a while, tho odd
man thought to persuade him TO stop
and take the licking, So he halted
the wary fugitive: ''Sken," he said,
"Shon, shtcp! I'm not so mad ar vat
i yashl"
A Texas paper tell Of young ccu-
pie who eloped on horseback, accom-
panied by a clergy man who was to
marry them. fhs Iady's father gave
chase and was cvertaking the party
when the maiden called QUITO her
clerical friend, Cant you marry US
as We run2" Tho idea took, and he
commeucod the ritual, and just a. the
father clutched her bride roin the
clergyman pronounced the loverr
man aud wife. The father was 80
pleased with the dashlng action, az
the story gees. be gave them hia
blessing.