The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1867-06-08
SARIET a..

VARIETY.
Srarrowgrass says that he prefers quiet
Hamlet tS a noisy OthellO-
A. long as a miser lives, his money chest il
sure 10 be heir-tight
The course Of true love is n race-cOurse where
there is often a false start.
PrecariOus style of life-dweIing in other
peoples memory
Here's to- internal improvements as DObbs
said when he swallowed dose ef salts.
The :. Household Words'' in many households
are better unspOken.
Short visits the best" As the fly said
when he aIighted n hot stove.
Jones thinks that instead of giving credit to
whom credit i due, the cash had better be paid.
Thaekeray says: - Only women thoroughly
know the insOlenee of women toward one another
Il have not loved lightly as the man said
when he married widow weighing three hun
dred pounds
The boy who was caught boxing into the
future. has been arrested for trying to the
show without payment
What Is the of signing and weeping as We
aat down the stream Why make the voyage
Of life a wailing voyage?
II the world were crumbled to the finest dust
and scattered through the universe, there would
not be an atom Of the dust for each star.
If woman were to change her sex, what sort
Of being wouII she become? She would be
be- then-a hcIthcn.
An author, If an inveternte smoker, is exposed
10 double danger-puiHng himself to death,
and being Iufl,d to death by others.
y country paper speaks of man who :. died
without tls aid of physician" Such instances
are very
Southcy, in 1899, showed Lamb dull poem
on q Lambs criticism :-.' Your Tuee
n insipid 1t irss neither thorns nor sweetness"
AgsS-iz tells about a fish in Brazil which can
climb tres TiIey probably peculiar to the
tropical climb.
.' do declare. Sal, you do look good enough
t1 eat 8. Well, solomon. amt I eating
hzt as ] CAM replied Sal, with her mouth full
What air does the young mou-c sing to the old
mouse when biting his way through the scenery
at the opera? :. Hear me s,nIw, ma"
It Is well to leave something for those who
come after u.s. the gentleman said who threw
a barrel in the way of constable who WAS
chasing him.
:. I'm afraid you'll come TO want sail an old
hdy % "a young gentleman. - have come To-
want already" was the reply; = want your
daughter
=. You book" said an IrisLnnn, to a pale, hag-
gard smoker, .. ~ II you lad got out OF your
grave To light your cigar. and could mt lind your
way hack again.
.. If you had avoided rum,'' said Il rumsclIer
10 n customer. yJu could now ride in Your
rage." =. And II You had never sold rum
said the baechanal, =. you would have been my
diver.
\ Frcucfman cannot pronounce - ship The
word j. =. sheep in his mouth. Seeing an iron
eiad hc said to- 4 boy, =. Ish dish a Sheep
.- NJ" ," answered n boy, - Its a ram.
y counsel being questioned by Judge To
know .. for whom hc concerned replied.
=. am concerned my lord, for the plaintiff, but
am employed by the defendant"
WORDS -, innocent and pOweTless as they are.
a. standing in "a dictionary, how potent for gOOd
AMI evil they become in the hands of one who
knows how To- combine them.
.. Now. papa. what is humbug?'' said little
four-yelT obi johnny. - IL j., replied papa.
when mamma prctcnis To be very fond of me,
anil sews no buttons ON my under garments
.. Do you think that raw oysters are healthy?''
arkc,l lady Of her physician. - Yes Inc re-
Piled. e. never knew one to complain of being
out Of health in my life
Alexander Dumas, Jr., was recently asked,
'' How happens it You NJ longer go into com
Iany - = Because | slw company made me
more stupid, and did not make company more
sprightIy."
.. William said n teacher to one of his pupils,
o can yOu tell me what makes the rise in the
el-t2' . Don't know. SIR, said William.
'eept it be that the east makz' everything rise
\ EIrmeT near Montreal says no need tell
him that advertising, won't cause big rush, for
he advertised ten bushels Of grapes for sale, and
the next morning there wasn't one left-the boys
stole en- all.
I'm IriShman was once asked to define an Irish
bull; To which he replied, :. " Whcneyer you see
two cows lying down in field, the one that's
Standing up Is a bull
IL l. not good for human nature to have the
rad Of life made easy for it i better tn be under
the necessity Of working hard and flring me.lnly.
than To have everything done for Us and pillow
"t down To rcpose on.
IN Irish gentleman thus accounts for the fact
OF his countrymen making so many bulls: -
cannot tell II it Is not the effect of climate,
Liney IL an Englishnln was born in ireland, he
"'u'd make just many
~, - leh Diem - is the motto Of the Prince of
wales. IL means - serve" and was adopted
2y the Black Prince from the blind old King Of
bohemia, whom he killed ut POictiers-
!" show the virtue Of advertising. it is said
'lE5 young man advertised for II wife, and re
'1I.ei eighteen hupdred answers from husbands,
'yinS he could have theirs.