Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1867-08-24
Dead Broke.

ed 10 ask him what he was doing there
'Han't dom noihin,' was the reply.
Where DO you belong?
'Don'i b'long nowhere, and nowh heTe
don't b'long 10 me-
who are you!'
I'm Broke
We'll, suppose you are broke, you ve
got name, haven't you! What is IT,
i tell you. I'm Broke-Dead Broke
that's my name, and that's my naIur'. q.
My father was broke afore me. Ii be
haGn't been, | wouldn't be Broke now
at least, not SO bad. My mother was a
PeasIey. bot she wanted husband, and
she goI Broke, that's my dad-and Broke
got me. I've been broke ever since.
For few moments the unhappy d.
Broke buried his face in his hands, and
seemed lost in the most doleful reflec-
tons. Then, raising his hands, he ex-
claimed bitterly:
i wish | had been born a COLI
why DO you wish you had been born
d colt"
Because a colt amt broke until he is
two or three years old. | was Broke the
moment saw the light, and never got
over it. 1t is hard 10 be broke so young.
How did your parents come to call
you Dead BroGe!"
We'll, ye see. as soon as | was born,
something seemed TO tell me that | haG
got 10 be Broke all my life, unless could
get my name changed by art Of LegisIa'
ture, and that, you know, would be an
impossibhiy.
How an impossibility!'
Are YOU such block head as 10 sup
pose that man can get anything 'hrough
the Legislature when he is Broker
You are right. Go on
When the conviction forced itself up
on my infant brain, confused as 1t was by
recent experiences that must be Broke
all my life, felt that there was nothing
10 live for, and lost all consciousness at
once. have found only part OF it
since.
He is dead cried my mother, wiring
ing her hands.
Yes groaned my father, dead BrOhE
i revived, alas but Dead Broke b.
came my name, and | have been dead
broke ever since
My name has been fatal 10 ne all lhro
life. The smallest boy in school always
broke me in playing marbles. ! broke
more windows than any other boy in base
ball. always broke down at recIIatons
and had my head broke every day by
the school. l.master. When left school |
went to clerk il for broker. One Cay
there was heavy deficit in the accounts.
was afraid he might think that | had
something 10 DO with iI-so i, !
broke. They caught me though, and put
me in Jail, but broke out.
'Out Of ali!
No, hang 1t, broke out rcjth the small
pOr"
What did you do next
AFTER the court had disposed Of my
case, was allowed to 60 into tie broker
age business again.
How was lhat?'
Il broke stone in the Penitenllary, dog
on it. After | got out broke everything.
| broke my promise, broke the Sabbath,
and broke The pledge.
Was you ever married!
Yes, (sighing deeply,) msirimony
broke me up worse than anything else.
My wife was a regular ripper. She
broke up my furniture and the dishes,
nearly broke my back with fatiron and
finally broke my heart.
BY running awoy7'
No, indeed, by sticking 10 me.
You have had a hard time OF IT.
All owing TO my name. BuI bad as ]
dislike it. it's mine; came by II honest
ly. You wouldn't think nybody else
would like 10 be in my place, would ye!
but there are thousands OF imposiers all
over the country trying 10 pass them
selves off for me.
In what way ,!
when they tell their creditors they are
Dead Broke
There was another pause. during which
the unhappy possessor Ct an unfortunate
name could be heard to sob. AT length
he broke ou--
1t will be simple and fitting in'criP'
ton for my tombstone, though.
'Whatl
DEAD Broke.
"A fellow was told at tailor's shop that
three yards Of cloth, by being wet, would
shrink one quarter Of aysrd. well
them" he inquired, "if you should wet
quarter OF ayard would there be any
len!"
A poor fellow protested 10 his girl in
the hay6eId that his two eyes hadn't come
together all night for thinking about her
"Very likely they did not, replied The
sweet plague of bis LIE, "(or see your
nose j. sl.I between them"
One exceedingly warm day in Jolly a
neighbor met an old man, and remarked
lbaI it was very hot. Yes" Gays Joe,
"ll it wasn't for one thing, should say
- hat