The tri-weekly standard. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1866-1868, 1867-06-13
THE RUSSIAN YiPOR BATH.


ONLY cot over a calamitous cold in
the head Yesterday, and to-day l felt
like the breaking up of a hard winter
l had the blues, and ceaseless drum
ming and ringing in the ears, and
deadening oppression on the brain, and
q horrible sense of suffocation. The
weather was cold, and the gases from
the villainous coal fire were sitting
Beside all these little inconvenience,
my thoughts persistently ran on funer-
ais and suicide. was in a fit frame of
mind for any desperate enterprise, and
with a recklessness that even stirred
sort of dull admiration within me, re-
solved to go and take bath. In five
minutes l was breasting the frosty
wird and ploughing through the soft
new snow, and in fifteen | stumbled
upon the place where they keep the
monster they call the Russian Bath
This was rather more than 1 bargained
for, but hesitated only moment and
went in. I went upstairs, in the
stylish building, and along a carpeted
hall, and entered large and sumptuous-
ly furnished and decorated drawing
room, with pictures hung round the
walls, and general air Of comfort and
luxury visible all about the place that
could not be otherwise than eXaspera-
ting to a man in my frame of mind. A
yery polite man entered my name in a
book. taxed me dollar and quarter,
took charge of my watch and porte
monnaie,- gave me ticket, and turned
mdz0ver to an attendant, who conduc-
ted me into another part of the house
and gave me a neat stateroom wherein
to undress. When I came out of there,
a fine healthy young descendant of
Adam q think he was a descendant of
Adam, because he hadn't anything on
but fig-leaf made of rag) took me
into large apartment that was as hot
as sin, and give me a basin of cold wa
ter to wash my face in, and cup of
ice water to drink, and then left me
The place had latticed floor, and a
great plunge-bath in the middle of it,
and two long rows of high, broad mar
BILE benches running down the sides-a
sort of stairways that reached half way
up TO the ceiling. The room began to
fill with steam, and I began to sweat.
1 oozed drops of water from every pore
as large as marbles-marbles Of the
small kind. l climbed up on one bench,
and then on the next, and finally to the
third-and the higher l went the hotter
it got. The fog grew thicker and thick
er, till the gaslights were only faint
blurs in the mist. [ could not breathe
through my nose any more, because tie
steam was so thick I had to inhale it
through my mouth-and if | hadn't
mouth like ships hatchway [ must
have suffocated anyhow. 1 was little
scared, thinking about steamboat explo-
slons and such things, because l knew
was carrying about a hundred and
sixty pounds of steam to the square
inch, and if ever shut down my throt-
tle-valve for a single moment l was
bound to collapse flue. But it was a
comfort to me to know that l had such
head on by this time that if I did let
60 would ne likely to blow the most
OF that bath-house over into Jersey
somewhere. At this critical period
Adam appeared, and 1 was uncommon
gao TO see him, Notwithstanding he
;. . so vaguely through the shroud-
my mist that | could not swear that l
SI 81" MN at all. He put me under cold
smoMer-oath and turned deluge loose
un ma me- But it felt good. Next he laid
an1 . VII d marble bench and soaped me
and scrubbed all over with an imple-
sne n,fnt that was rough for a brush but
sIn sIl' lor curry-comb. I got another
ono"er-bath ona. after this, and then the out
@s1 ban, STOOD me up and shot me in the
maSe "oh with a spray of hot water that
vow nm, me lace around-well, quick, as
With wit bnsight say-and instantly shot me
wh;r,aas spray of ice water-and when I
air u aTon again | caught a blast of hot
and dioe' ;at' spray of hot water below,
need1cJp Je! OF ice water like thousand |
makes . IN the middle. This operation
thino q man nlan get around as spry as any
tortHra Know no of. But it is exquisite
Then this inhuman Russian !