davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1867-09-04

ACCIDENTS OF SPEECH.-A Frenchman
named Gallon, who died in Paris not many
years ago, was remarkable for a bovine ten
dency. There is a letter of his in existence
as follows 90 My dear friend-I left my
knife at your lodgings yesterday Pray send
it TO me if you find it. P. S.-Never mind
sending the knife; | have found it, There
is a note to his wife, which he sent home
with basket of provisions, the postscript
to which read - You will find nv letter
at the bottom of the basket. If you should
fail to do SO, let me know as soon as posi-
ble." 1t is said of this same character that
on one occasion he took a lighted taper TO
find his way down stairs without accident.
and after getting down brought it back with
thanks, leaving himself at the top of the
stairs in the dark at first A lady once
asked the Able de Matignon how old he was.
:. Why, l am only thirty-two, said he but
| count myself thirty-three, because little
boy was born year before l was, and died.
evidently keeping me back whole year by
accident" 1t was a Scotch woman who
said that the butcher of her town only killed
half beast at time.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1867-09-04

The FASTEST TINE ON REcoRD.-At the
Horse Fair. held last week in Buffalo, the
celebrated horse Dexter trotted against time.
On the first trial he made quarter of mile
in 33 seconds. half mile in l. 10 and the
mile in ;. !. On the second trial he made
a quarter of a mile in 33 Is seconds, half a
mile in .07 and the mile in 2.17t. When
the announcement of the result was made
three tremendous cheers were given for Dex-
ter and his owner. The time Is the best ever
made in harness by T seconds.
Mr.. Robert Bonner, of the New York
Ledger, who publishes Mr.. Beecher's novels
and keeps the fastest horses in the country,
chased Dexter for $50, 900, giving his reasons
for the purchase in the following note
BUFFALO. August IA, 1867.
- L saw Niagara Falls this morning for the
first time, and came down here this afternoon
to see the other great wonder, Dexter, trot,
when he beat the world, having trotted in the
unprecedented time of 2.l74. You know
like to secure all the best things. and as
could not buy the Falls, did the next best
thing, and bought Dexter. He viii go to
my stable next month";
The Buffalo Express gives the following
description of the scene during Dexter's per-
formance
.'Doble, the driver of Dexter, brought out
the horse and drove around a little and at
length swung round for full mile. first Civ
ing the Judges To understand that the heat
was merely preparatory. 1t was evident that
if the horse could beat , l9, to-day was the
time for trial. Every movement showed per-
feet condition. \ hundred watches clicked as
he passed beneath the line Thirty-four, ,
shouted a hundred voices as he flashed by the
quarter. Dead silence ensued.
| 'One-ten, whispered the same voice with
suppressed excitement, as the white face dis
appeared behind the half-mile post, and a pin
could have been heard to fall on the grand
stand the horse dashed into the home
stretch, moving swiftly, but without appar-
ent effort, toward the goal.
Two-sixteen.'
Two-eighteen.
Two Nineteen "a long breath)
Two twenty-one-a half and wild crv
of disappointment went through the vast
throng.
| Fawcett (the owner of Dexter) glanced at
Doble, who merely cast up his eyes, and the
owner of the Trotting King quietly replaced
his watch and sat down to await what he
now knew was to be the result.
1t was four o'clock when Doble again ap-
peared on the track, with difficulty restrain
ing his eager horse.
As before, Ben Mace, on Aliens running
mate, drove leisurely after him, and they
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1867-09-04
Josh Billings on GOngS.
Josh Billings relateth his first ,

Josh Billings relateth his first expert
ence with the gong thusy:
"I never can eradicate holi from mi
memory the sound NV the furst gong l ever
herd. [ was sitting on the front steps NV
a tavern in the sitty of Bufferlo, pensively
smokin. The sun was going to bed, and
the hevins for an hour was blushin at the
performance. The Ery kanal, with its gol-
den waters. was on its way to Albany,
and l was persuin the line of boats a flotin
by, an thinkin Nv Italy (wher l used to liv)
an her gondolers and gallus wimmin My
entire sole was, as it were, in a swet. l
wanted to KLINE. [ felt CRATE. 1 actually
grew. There are things in this life tu big
tu be trifed with; there are times when a
man brakes luce from hisself when be
sees sperrits, when he kan almost tuch
the mune, and feels as tho he kud fill both
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1867-09-04

\ SINGULAR NERDICT-There have
been many queer verdicts rendered by cor
oners and other juries since the days of
Shakespeare's "Crowner's quest; but
none has exceeded, in originality and a
certain grimness of humor, that rendered,
not long since, by coroner's jury in Mon
tana. 1t is 4 pity that the details of the
victims previous life are not given, that
the verdict might be logically deduced from
cause to effect by the reader; but all that
is reported is. that one Hugh McElroy, a
miner, shot himself deliberately through
the head with his revolver, while lying
abed, and that a coroner's jury having been
duly called, and the affair investigated in
form by these gentlemen. they finally re-
turned the following verdict: That the
deceased committed suicide, and that he
did so in Selt-detenSe."
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1867-09-04

PATRICK AND PErER.-An English pa
per has this story: \ very curious incl
dent occurred yesterday in the House of
Lords during the progress of the Breadal-
bane Peerage case. MIR. Anderson, q.
c., in alluding to one of the persons whose
name had been mentioned called him Cap
tain Patrick Campbell. The Lord Chan
cellor said the captains name was not
Patrick. but Peter Mr. Anderson said
they were convertible terms. The Lord
Chancellor: What. are St. Patrick and
St. Peter the Same?' Mr. Anderson
: Yes, the names are the same Lord
Colonsay informed the Lord Chancellor
that the learned counsel was right-in
Scotland, Patrick was Peter, and Peter
was Patrick The Lord Chancellor said
it certainly was information to him
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1867-09-04

ANOTHER Raj AT CARLYLE.-The London
Rerinc is sharp upon Mr.. Carlyle. 1t
says
:. Mr.. Carlyle's uttcrance becomes wilder
and more spasmedic. Each new book that
he publishes has still more and more shown
a mind undisciplined-ha revealed moro
and more IN growing ugliness the results of
unbridled license OF late years he has
taken pains 10 conceal his contempt for
the great body of his fellow-creaturcs. He
has couched his thoughts, too, in a jargon
which reminds us more of the language of
Browning's Spanish monk than of anybody
else
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1867-09-04

How CoUNTRYNAN SAW a BALLET
REHERsAL.-Mr. Maynard tells this story ::
.. once gratiied the curiosity of a
country friend, who was anxious to pene-
trate the mysteries of the rehearsal of a
ballet at the Italian Opera in London.
Mr.. Green (really his appropriate name)
was amazed at the active exercises of the
graceful coryphees in their morning robes
montanteS' He gazed at them through his
spectacles with an eagerness akin TO rude
ness, and only pardonable from the novel
ty of his position. We approached the
principal dqnSeuse- of the most dis
tinguished sylphides, being none other than
Cerito. She was supporting herself against
a side scene, and-if | may be allowed to
say twas stretching her legs, working
them up and down | asked permission to
introduce Mr. Green, who was close TO me.
"'Charnee de faire rotre counaiSsance,
said the charming artist, still holding on to
the side scene and continuing her gymnas-
ties
" Mr. Green bowed. but said not a word.
He was gaping with astonishment the
temptation to increase his surprise was too
great for Cerito to resist-with incompar-
able grace she popped the point of her
pretty little foot into Mr. Green's open
mouth. 1t was done in an instant, and, |
fancy, was caution to my friend not TO
cape in future at a bGAerina.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1867-09-04

The Z" DEvIL-FIsH " AGAIN.-Victor HUI
go's I" devil-fsh y is no myth Here is a
story from the late number of the Gazette of
Genoa '' A few DAYS back a person bathing
between Cornigliano and Sestri, in the Gulf
of Genoa, was seized by large polypus,
and the creature so interlaced its numerous
rentacles round him that he was unable, in
spite of all his efforts, to free himself, and
was dragged under water and drowned
None of the other bathers ventured to go to
his assistance"
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1867-09-04

4 Bridgewater man has found novel way
of taking revenge. He stuck all over his
neighbor's meadow pieces of wire, which
made it almost impossible to NOW the grass.
as the scythe edge would be turned up and
spoiled by contact with the wires.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1867-09-04

stroyed so many lives in one of the late
cholera epidemics-their waters are cool,
clear and sparkling, and have all the exter-
nal character of genuine purity
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1867-09-04

hands with the stars of hevin, an almost
sware he was a bank president. That's
what allied me. But the korse of tru luv
never did run smuthe (this is Shakespeare
opinion too), just as [ was duin by best
hummer, dummer, spat, bang, beller,
crash, roar, ram dummer, dummer, whang,
rip, rare, rally, dummer, dummer dun
with tremenjus jump | struck the center
ov the sidewalk; with another [ kleared
the gutter, and with another [ stood in
the middle of the street snorting like All
Indian pony at a band of music. | gazed
in wild despair at the tarvern stand, mi
hart swelling up as a outdoor oven; mi
teeth was as luce as string of bedes. /
thot all of the crokery in the tarvern had
fell down. thot ov feromenons. [ thot
ov Gabriel and his horn. [ wos Jest on
the pint ov thinker ov somethin else when
the landlord kun out on the frunt stupe oil
the tavern, holdin by a string the bottum
ov an old brass kettle He kawled me
gently with his hand | went slola and
slola up tn him, he kammed my fears, he
said it was gong, [ saw the kussed thing
he said supper was reddy, and axed me et
[ wud hav black or green tee, and | sed !
wood.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1867-09-04

BAD DRINKING WATER IN LoNDoN.-Up-
on this subject the London Star remarks
=. Notwithstanding the opinion of DR.. Leth-
ebv to the contrary, there is, we think, good
reason for believing that the last epidemic
of cholera in the East End was due to the
propagation and distribution of cholera virus
by means of the water supplied by the East
London Company. The companies, too, are
not the only disseminators of choleraic affec-
tions the pumps in several parts of London
the water from which is SO highly esteem
cd in their respective localities-are indeed
formidable agents of destruction The his
tory of particular centres of epidemic dis
ease proves this sufficiently : but there is the
additional testimony of chemical analysis to
put the fact beyond all question.
We have before us the results of chemical
Investigations upon the water of the several
London pumps, and it is horrifying to think
that the authorities have not long since taken
steps to suppress their use. These analyses
demonstrate that in the cases of the pumps
of High Street, Aldgate, Bishopsgate, St.
Bride Lane, Chequeryard, Dowgate Hill,
Little Britain, ST. Nicholas Olaves' church
ward, and the pumps in Drapers' Hall, the
water is so highly charged with the products
CT the decomposed matter of sewage as to be
decidedly dangerous to health. The water
of the St. Nicholas Olaves, churchyard
pump contains no less than one hundred and
twenty-nine grains of solid matter per gal
Ion, and of these at least eight grains con-
sst of organic matter, and no less than thir-
tyeight are alkaline nitrates !; fact which
leads us to infer direct communication with
some sewer. The pump in Drapers' Hall
appears to be quite as bad. for Professor
Wanklyn and his colleagues, writing of it or
the 9th of July, say it is a horror-ammo-
MIA, urea, and albumenola matter all in ter
rible quantity Now, what renders thes.
pumps all the more dangerous is, that-lik'
the famous pump in Broad street, which de
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1867-09-04
TERMS FOR ADVERTISING.

For one Square of l2 lines less Of Nonparei tyre
one insertion, Sl00 for each Subsequent ins erIion %
cents. Unless the number OF insertions marked
the advertisement will he continued till ordered out
Liberal discount made merchants and others advertise
ng by the year.
Probate and COMMISSIONERS Notices, $500 each.
For notices Lherations Estrays the Formation and
Dissolution of Copartnersps, &C, 1l0 each, for three
insertions, f sent by mail the money must accompany
the letter.
Notices in columns 10 per lire ea-h nsei
rinn hut charge made of less than so cents
Notices Desths and Marriages inserted gratis but
extended Obituary Notices Poetry will be charged
the rate of five cents per line.
Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1867-09-04
Blasted lay that rose-acacia
We're SO proud OF, lily, Zy, Hine
II There. vespcrs. Plena gratia,
NNt NIrunt i,r-r-r Won swine -

And Gr-r-r you swine = has for the last
twenty years been Mr.. Carlysle's burden.
He has not hcsitated in his Frederick the
Great to denounce this fair Earth - a
rotten dungheap of world He proclaims
in his dscourses on the negro question, that
there is only one remedy for man. a collar
round his neck and cartwhip over his
back
knowing all this. we are not at all sur
prised at Mr.. Carlyle's last utterance in
Mac1nUan's Magazine, Shooting Niagara :
and After , We should have been much
surprised had it been anything different to
what it is The man who has consistently
all his life admired the doctrine of Force, is
not SO much likely to be convinced of his
error. as to raise fresh scream at the spec
tacle of a great nation fast progressing to
self-government. The man who latterly
seems only to have felt any remorse when he
remembered that white men cannot be sold
and treated like slaves, is not likely to be
touched by the thought of enfranchisement.
The moral decrepitude of Mr.. Carlyle's
later writings has prevented us from even
hoping that any such change could take
place Mr.. Carlyle's latest utterance is
nothing more than an echo of what ne has
said twenty wears before
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1867-05-11

Rock ISLAND, May TO.
The current value of the articles named below is
subject to changes, but the following quotations
are correct for the date of this report
Flour-Spring Double Extra, in bbls SIS, 90 at
Wholesale and 81 5, 20 at retail. Sacks, $14, 40 at
Wholesale and Sis, 90 at retail. Loose, $I4, 20 at
Wholesale, and $l4, so at retail.
Wheat-No. /, $3.50. No. 2, $50. Rejected
1,75a1 80.
Corn-75 to soc
Oats-65a70c for 35 lbs
Rye ,00a1,2
Barley-No. LOO. No. 2, 80.
Beans-l,75
Onions-75c per bush.
Potatoes-90a95c.
Eggs-l2!c doc.
Butter-Very choice lots, for retailing, will
bring 20a22c.
Sorghum-40a60c.
Sait-3,35a3. so per barrel.
Kerosene-W holesale, barrels included, 5Oa52
retail zoe.
Highwines-S2,20.
Pouitry-Live chickens, 81, 40a3,00 per doz.
Dressed, &c per Id. Turkeys I2a15e per Id.
Pork-For live hogs 54a6e.
Beehive weight, common 3,00a4, so. Prime
shipping 6 ,75a7 so per hundred pounds.
Hides-Green country, &c; green sailed, &c;
dry sated lie dry flint, Il; green calf 12Ae ;cut
damaged gruby price sheep pelts Sl.o0
Hay-Prairie, $9aSll per ton Timothy $1,000
a$15,00.
Wood-Oak SIS, 90 to 100 a cord.
Coal-At the Coal Valley Yard, on the Levee,
coal is sold at IA cents, the cost of delivering 70
be added.
From teams, in Market Square, at 5a16 cents.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1867-05-11
CURE OFINFLAMMATOR RHEUM-
ATISM.

SING SING, Jan. 25, 1867.
Dir. BRANBRETH-For some years l have been
subject to attacks of infiammatory rheumatism,
which usually come every three or four months.
My physicians were of the highest reputation.
BY their advice took colchicum, citric acid and
otser celebrated remedies, but none relieved me
shortened the attacks, which lasted for weeks
at time. In my last attack I concluded to try
your famous pills. was lying upon my bed at
the time, suffering the severest pains in my feet
and ankles, which no pen can describe.
The first dose Of six Pills was SO effective that
in few hours the pain and swelling sensibly aba
ted, and in IS hours were all gone, and I was
cured and have had no return.
send you this letter for the benefit of others
who, suffering in n similar manner, may know
how they can find certain relief.
/ am respectfully yours,
j. ID. DUDLEY.
The Hon. Demas Barnes says: q sell more of
Brandreths Pills than of all others put together.
BRANDRETH'S PILLS are sold by all drug
gists, and at the principal Office, Brandreth House.
New York.
Observe B. BRANDRETH in white letters on
the government stamp on each box.
may9dwlm,
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1867-05-11
KNOW THY DESTINY.

Madame E. F. Thornton, the great English As
trologist, Clarvoyant and Psychometrician, who
has astonished the scientific classes of the Old
World, has now located herself at Hudson, n. Y.
Madame Thornton possesses such wonderful pow
ers of second sight, as to enable her to impart
knowledge of the greatest Importance to the sin
gle or married of either sex. While in state of
trance, she deiineates the very features of the
person you are to marry, and by the aid of an in
strument of intense power, known as the Psyche
motrope, guarantees to produce hfe-lke picture
of the future husband or wife of the applicant,
together with date of marriage, position in life,
leading traits of character, dc. This is no hum
bug, as thousands of testimonials can assert. She
will send when desired certified certificate,
written guarantee that the picture is what it pur
ports to be. By enclosing small lock of hair,
and stating place of birth, age, disposition and
complexion, and enclosing fifty cents and stamped
envelope addressed to yourself, you will receive
the picture and desired information by return
mail. All communications sacredly confidential.
Address in confidence,
MADAME E. F. THORNTON,
P. 0. Box 223, Hudson, n. 7.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1867-05-11

THE case of Jack O'Neil, master of the
Gun Boat" on which was found lot of
sacks belonging to Mr.. Burwell, of the War
ncr Mills, of this city, came before Police
Magistrate Connolly this morning (the llth.1
Jack was up to time and had his witnesses
to prove that he came by the sacks honestly,
by purchasing them from another party
Mr.. Burwell having found his sacks, the
Gun Boat having foated down to curse
other localities, thus relieving our commun-
ty from pest house, and the fact that no
conviction could possibly have taken placeif
O'Nen had been bound over for his appear
ance at court, the magistrate discharged
him, This summarily disposes of the case
and relieves the county of an expense which
always follows in the wake of cases of this
character.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1867-05-11

s A plain statement of facts. inherited Scrofula,
and many of my relations have died of it. In
1899 my was frightful. Tumors and ulcers
spread until in iS42, under the advice of my ply
scians | went to Avon Springs. / received
benefit--tried every medicine and did everything
could. had to rest my arm a cushion, and had
not been able to raise il to my head for over year
The discharge from two ulcers was nearly pint
day. Anputation recommended, but pro-
nounced dangerous. / could sleep, and my
suferngs were intolerabe. friend brought me
an English physician who applied salve with
which he said he had accomplished extraordinary
cures in the hospitals in England. 1t commenced
relieve: persisted in its use; it finally effected
perfect and entire cure. 1t Is now 1S4S. 1t Is
five wears since had the appearance of a scroful-
Gus sore and my health has been good ever since
I procured the receipt of this wonderful article
this blessing of humanity-and have called 1t
"Page's Climax Salve," and allow the public to
use it not as they choose. This is brief but
J. N. PAGE.
GENEVA, N. Y, December, IS4s.
New YORK, Oct. Is, 1865.
81 have known ]. NJ. Page, Esq, OF Geneva n
Y. for many years lie is one Of the hrst citlzens
of Western New York. saw him last week "A
good health His case was most remarkable one,
but actually true in every particular. =.
S;onaii DEMAs BARNES.
W. have watched the unaided but growing favor
Of apage's Climax Salve," and awaiting ourselves
Of the knowledge of its wonderful curative pow
ers. have become proprietors of the same.
tits sure cure for Burns, scalds, Scrofula, Salt
Rheum, Fever Sores Broken Breasts, Frest Bites,
Chilblains Stings, Bruises, Cuts, Sweilings, &C.,
whether upen man or beast. 1t subdues pain and
inflammation with surprising CELEBRITY, and heals
burns without o scar. No fa1aily should De with
out it. tits always wanted, and is always ready.
We will forfeit dozen boxes fer any single failure
We believe there was never anything like 1T In the
world 10 int boxes, surrounded by o
fun circular giving facts directions, testimonials,
&C., and can be ordered by any respectable drug
gist throu ghout the world Priceon % cents.
:. ~ $50 WHITE Il ROWLAND.
Successor to ]. M. Page, III Liberty St, New
York. mch26dwly.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1867-05-11
THE GREATEST PAIN.RELIEt Err
IN THE WORLD

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FIJI dozen newspapers have been received by Or.
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Dr. Tobias Venetian Liniment. and take no 9TH
er. Price 80 cents and 81 Sold by all Drug
gists. Depot So Cortlandt Street, n. 7.
may9dw I'm. -. SO
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1867-05-11
A YOUNG LADY

Returning to her country home, after sojourn
of few months i'll the city, was hardly recog-
nized by her friends. In place of a coarse, rus
tic, flushed face, she had soft ruby complexion
of almost marble smoethness, and instead Of
twenty-three she really appeared but eighteen.-
Upon inquiry to the cause of so great change,
she plainly told them that she used the CIn-
CksSIAN BALM, and considered it an inval-
liable acquisition to any lady's toilet. By its use
any lady or gentleman can improve their personal
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FROM also healing, cleansing and identifying the
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as nature intended it should be- clear, SOFT smooth
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receipt of an order by
". L. CLARK i CO., Chemists,
No. West Fayette street, Syracuse, n. Y,
the only American agents for the sale of the
mch20dw1y.