The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1867-01-11
InauI.ItIreness 90 ChIIdren.

An old ''bach," who had the misfor-
tune to be left alone with a little "olive
branch" the other day, gives his expert
ence as follows: If the first born of
Egypt were lively children, with ten
dency to ask questions, 1 look upon |
Herod as a benevolently wise man, |
whose acts have been misconstrueds and
whose memory has been vilihed. A
vast amount of nonsensical interroga-
tives which would have bothered the
patriarchs, and perhaps stopped the
wheels of that parental style OF govern
ment, he spared that generation. The
other day, in an ungunrded moment, 1
accepted the charge and custody of a
young gentleman who wore hRlf-gaiters
and a Charles the II. hat and feather.
His sponsors in baptism had given him
one name-circumstances another. His
latter appellation: Buster" Bis age.
as he informed me, was going on e"
When he made up his mind that we
were to be left together, he eyed me
inadvertently moment, and lmmeal-
ately commenced the following system
of torture: What was my name, and
NV brothers. and my fathers name,
/ and why? Did have any little boys?
| Why didn't I have any little
boys2 What was the reason, If Ididnt
have any little boys, didn't have any
little girls? All this put as one ques-
ton. with no stops, and n gradual
rising infection. Was them buttons
1 gold in my sleeve, and why How
| much did they cost? Did they cost Sl55?
If they didn't cost Sl55, what would be
the price of gold house with gold FUR
niture and gold staircasef Did ever
see house with these auriferous Pc
! culiarities? No. What then would
/ be the cost of silver carriage and
gold harness2 What then would be
the cost OF "A leaden carriage with iron
harness? And why? Did know why
the flies walked on the ceiling? Could
/ walk ON the ceiling! Not i'll had one
man to hold my head and another my
legs? Why couldn't 1? Couldn't !, If
was giant? Did ever see gtantY
Was personally acquainted with any!
Did ever see them eat? How far was
it to New York? Was il a million or
fifty million of milesG Ifhe (Buster) had
a balloon, and should start of, would
he get there tonight? Nor next night
} nor another night, nor next week.
and WHY? i soon found out thai
this WHY was simple form of closing
all questions, like the usual note o
. Interrogation. What was my business
D and did know any stories? and why
This afforded n plan of relief. in
stantly started into a history of m,
previous life and adventures. in
I vested all my relations and friend
with supernatural attributes, and mad
r a
j a Genii and Robinson Crusoe. 1 mad
the most astonishing voyages, and say
e the most remarkable occurrences.
drew literally from the Arabian Night
} and Baron MunchRusen. Whenever
saw the open mouth address itself n
t though 'twould speak" / brought in
Roc, or a Genii, or a casket of dia
mOnds, and took away the unhapp
Q child's breath. In the midst of an an
l. mated description of the Hoarhoun
50 islands and adventures in the dam
caves, where the candles hung in Ion
stalactites, the parents happily return
ed. hurriedly received their thanh
and left. But L have the secret sati
o. faction of knowing that all that pen
up torrent of questions burst on Il
n. unhappy father; and that geographic
~ inquiries regarding the locality
= 'Floating Island" the "Blanc Mani
Archipelago" and the VALLEY
Cream Cakes" will be henceforth h
dreadful lot to meet and answer.