The home journal. (Winchester, Tenn.) 1858-188?, 1867-05-30
f,'acetip,

- Abh'''
that your wife and you always disn-
gree I" asked one Irishmm Of another.
"Becausc we arc both Ofone mind. She
wants to be master and so do l."
In Washington n woman shot u mar
he did not marry her; in Cincinnati an
other shot one because he did. What
can q bachelor do to save his bacon -
Erchange.
Suppose he marry two, and let them
ifthcy must shoot, shoot each otllcr.--
Louisville Journal.
daughter, why do you not veal
yolr ringsl" "Because, papa, they
hurt me when anybody squccccs my
hand" "What business have you, ]
would like to know, to have your HAND
squeezed 7" "Ccrtainly none but still.
you know, papa, II would likcto keel
in squcezable order"
j.. B. was q stingy old creature, en-
ger for money, but he was u Jealous
member Of u church, and ostcntatiou>
ia his religious exercises. "John,'
said Catherine to her brother, "what
could have made the stingy old wretch
Il Christian :" 81 can tell you,' said
John, che has read that the streets OF
The New Jerusalem are paved with gold,
and he is determined to get there"
ScENE-Young lovers on the balco-
ny. TlME-Evening. Mr.. BiAen-
"Oh, how calm, how sweet and peace
fh the moon looks"
Mss Coocn--"Ycs; but don't you
think it looks very conspicuousT
Why can persons occupied in can
ming fruit stow away more Of than any
body else? Because they can.
AN UNEXPECTED DANGER.-Onc Of
The sprcadcagle Radicals, at the mccl
ing Of Monday night, wanted the wings
of n bird thas he might fly to every vii
lage and hamlet Of the State, and carry
She glad tidings of reconstruction.
A boy near tlcdoor sung out; "Dly
up, you--old fool, you'd get shot for
goose before you flew mile. '--liont
gomc'y AW
Law AGD Pluslc.-Whcn Dr. II and
Sergeant a. were walking arm in arm,
a wag said to Il friend
They two a%rejust equal to one high
wayman.'
why p WAS the response.
~"Bccausc,' replicdthe wag, "it is a
lawyer and Il doctor--yom money or
your life"
A young lady told u typo friend that
he might imprint a kiss on her cheek,
Atll he mustn't publish it.
What is the difference between a
house-w wife and an editor? One sets
a~aticles to rights and the other writes
articles to set.
DiDN'T RIsE.-In tie year 1868, a.
meeting was held in Lebanon, Ind, for
the purpose Of getting up asuppcr and
fair for the sick and wounded soldiers.
Judge B, being loyal all over, was
very active in such matters, and was
appointed chairman of the meeting
There were quite anumbcr orladis pres
ent. The business progressed rapidly,
and as most Of the articles for the sup
per were to be donated, the Judge call
ed, in his ludicrous manner, on those
present, how much they could contri
butte. Almost enough was given to
complete the arrangements, when some
one suggested that it would be ncccs-
to have some milk. ooh, yes"
said the Judge, rising with great dig
call you Ladies that give milk will
please rise" 1t is sufficient to say there
was no rising.
AGooD ExcUsE.-"Excusc me, mad
am, but / would like to know why YOU
look at me 80 s~avagely :" said a gel
to Il lady stranger. ''Oh! beg
pardon, sir; / took you for my hus-
was the reply.
A little boy asked his mother what
blood relation meant" She replied
it signifcd neal relatives, etc; af-
Ter thinking a moment n moment he
"Thcn mother you must be the
Dloodicst relation I've got"