Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1867-05-11

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park, "the policeman may see you. !"
"Don't play marbles there on the side
walk; il is Sunday come and play in
the backyard" b" Isn't il Sunday in the
back yard, motherH Laughter French
fashions, French customs, extrayagant
living and the family physicians pre-
scriptions are fast destroying American
morality and American constitutions.
Fewer marriages and more divorces pro-
duce less virtue and more vice. Our
modern marriage service should read
thus: Clergymah-Will you take this
brown stone front, this carriage and
span, these diamonds for thy welded
husband2 Yes Laughter Will lyou
take this unpaid milliner's bill, this high
waterfall of foreign hair, these affeeta-
ton Accomplishments and feeble con :
stitution for thy welded wife2 Loud
laughter Yea Then, what mammon
has Joined together, let the next best man
run away with, so that the divorce court
may tear them asunder. Laughter and
applause. Sometimes, when all the
remedies Of faculty tail, and the patient
is beyond the power of paying his bills
much longer, they say, as a dernter re-
sort, try Schieferdecker. And why is it
that, after thirty years of practice on
these cast-off patients of allopathy and
homeopathy, he has lost only eight 2
TApplause. Because he assists nature,
and makes the man again child. lis
pitiful sight to walk up Wall street and
Broadway, and see men just on the door
step of paralysis, apoplexy or softening
Of the brain, just stepping into Green
wood, who with proper treatment would
be good for twenty years of active life.
[Applause 'Tis pitiful to see an inno-
cent babe, whose blood was pure for
generations, inoculated with some ter
rible disease that the vaccine doctor has
taken from some other child, whose an
cestors' blood has been corrupted for
centuries. [Sensation. Tis pitiful to
see so many of our women lose all sense
of delicacy, and we might say of charity,
in submitting to the demoralizing use of
the speculum at the suggestion of the
family physician. 'Tis pitiful to
see all habits of temperance set aside
and the seeds of drunkenness
planted forever by the family doc
for recommending bourbon. l believe
to day there is more whisky drank in
Fifth avenue than in avenue A. Cor
pulency is becoming chronic Plethora
abdomindliS is the fashionable disease.
Laughter and applause Hydropathy,
Schieferdeckerism ignores all these pes
tilental contrivances Of the faculty.
Hence this powerful organization hurls
its anathemas broadest at this new agent
that is undermining by act and acts their
swindling system. [Applause,l Latterly
the faculty have recommended mineral
waters and sea bathing7-two new agen
cies for deluding their patients. New
port and Saratoga are the Sodom and
Gomorrah OF our day Three months at
these fashionable places will keep the
doctors busy the other nine. Laughter.
While the mineral waters destroy the
inner coatings of the system, the salt
water stops the pores, and destroys the
fine sensibilities of the skin on the out.
side. Applause. Hydropathy forbids
the use of either. The stereotyped phrase
of your family physician when you ask
if Schieferdeckerism won't help you, is,
Yes, it is good for some butyour CON
stitution would not stand it" That settles
the question, and the pill.box, the lancet,
and bourbon resume possession of their
victims. Again the faculty, ignorant of
the disease, invented another word,
which applies to the whole three thousand
medical calendar. You have taken
cold" What is more senseless Why
don't they say you have taken hot, or
have taken lukewarm Laughter No
matter what the ailment; a severe cold.
Crsmp, a cold neuralgia, cold; head
ache, a cold sciatica, cold; groin
pains, a cold; rheumatism in the knee,
cold. No matter what the disease--if
bone in the throat-the faculty will be
sure to call 1t cold Laughter. ] Per
haps | am too censorious upon the doc.
tors. l admit that the patients deserve
fair share They will not practice self
denial; they will overeat, overdrink,
over indulge in dissipation, and expect
their doctor to make them well with one
powder and one pill. Laughter ]
Hence an institution is needed where
man can gain his health without being
daily led into temptation. Man needs
occasional rest When the race is over
the race horse is groomed in the stable,
or turned loose in the pasture with his
shoes Off The steam engine goes into
the machine shop for repairs. Is man
stronger than the horse or the locomo-
tive, that be alone require no repairs