Rutland weekly herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1859-1877, 1867-07-25
statement of Rev. s. m. Merrill.

conduct, as we'll IS the trials under
which he has lsbored since entering the
ministry. 1t will be seen that the rev.
erend gentleman accuses no person OF
having committed an error, except him
self and that he begs for forgiveness and
mercy In the most piteous terms. His
appeal is certainly an eloquent one,
whatever may be thought Of his course
A CONFESSION AND PLEA PoR MERCY.
To the Editor ofths Troy Times As my
name and acts have occupied the
thoughts and feelings OF the public to an
unusual degree, and In most deplorable
relation, and as my name in this con-
nection came first before the public
through the columns OF your paper, will
you grant me the favor OF making to the
world plain statement of the leading
facts connected with my history since
entered public life. 1t lis the dearest
boon ] can ever ask at your hands, and
l know you will not fnd 1t in your heart
to refuse me. The generous manner in
which You sought to repair an injury
done me, and for the hearty commenda-
tion OF the press, but my own gratitude,
assures me You will not refuse TO hear
and help me now. In 1858 left school
ut the request OF several ministers, apd
went to Warren circuit to aid the preach
ers stationed upon that field. The cir
cult comprised six towns. l was poor
boy, but eighteen years old, had thin
poor clothes, and was over one hundred
dollars in debt. A gentleman gave me
q cast-off overcoat to keep me from suf-
fering with the cold, and another gave
me the use Of horse for part of the
year. hoped to be able TO save enough
to pay my debts and get me some clothes
that year. But the other two ministers
had families dependent upon them for
support, and the people for the most part
were poor, and it took all they could
give to take care of them so | worked
through the year and received but four
dollars and my board. At the close of
the year was sent to another circsit,
where l was compelled to buy horse
and carriage. l had no money, and ran
into debt for these, and also for clothes
to wear. At the end OF this year found
that my income had been trifie less
than one hundred dollars. OF course my
debts remained unpaid. They began to
trouble me. | ought TO have stopped
preaching then and gone into some other
business and paid my debts. But was
now engaged to be married, and my
pride rose up against going and making
an open acknowledgement that l must
stop preaching and 60 to work to pay
my debts. This was my first sad mis-
take. But others said / had better con.
tinue to preach would get better pay
in the future. So hoped and so / be-
lieved. | was married and made the
best show Mould for Housekeeping. At
the conference of 1851 was appointed
to Washington Mountain, Mass. With
my wife and one child, went to my
post. There found no house to live in
and nothing to keep house with. There
was no church, but an old store in which
to preach. / went to work with good
heart, but troubled with my debts on
every side. sold my horse to help me
to live. At the end OF the year l went
church finished and paid for. / had re-
eeived two hundred dollars salary. At
this conference l was removed two hun
dred and fifty miles to the Canada lines,
Vermont. ] had not one dollar to pay
my expenses. / borrowed the money,
took my sick wife with babe but three
weeks old in her weary arms, and far
among strangers we made our sad way.
Here too, I found field OF FIVE towns to
travel over and no means to buy horse.
Then | ought to have stopped preaching.
But no; a gentleman trusted me for a
horse and carriage. Now / was in debt
six hundred dollars. My consiCene told
me | ought to go into some other bust
ness and pay my debts. But pride, and
ill-timed advice of friends, kept me back.
This winter | was so thinly clad, and so
exposed to the fearful cold OF that noun
tain region, that my health gave way
and sickness aud expense followed. Two
years after my eldest daughter was
stricken down with hip joint disease
from which she has never recovered
For days and months we carried her In
our arms. We left nothing undone
which love could suggest or skill accom-
pIish to gain relief, but all in vain. Now
l had not only debts overwhelming me
with confusion, but. "a lving death filling
oar hearts with the protoundest sorrow
Oh, the anguish of those days none car
tell. Thus the days passed heavily on
and my burdens bowed me to the very
dust. In 1851 was appointed to thu
city of Albany. The gloom and horror;
of civil war were now coming upon thu
nation. For one year performed tht
work of the ministry as faithfully as
knew how, and at the same time devoted
my energies and influence to aid the wa
committees in sustaining public meet
ings and securing volunteers for thu
army.
In 1862 l went with my regiment, thu
177th New York, TO the field of contest
stayed as long as l could, and did N!
duty as well as knew how. had lef
my wife with seven helpless children t.
care for, that might do something 70
my country in her hour of trial ant
danger. This service had so increased
my flnancia! embarrassments that |
seemed to me must sink and go dis
tracted. At this time | made several at
20 int 60