Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1867-04-04
MISCELLANY.
How I Came to be Married.

How I Came to be Married.
1t may be funny but I've done it. I've got
rib and baby. Shadows departed oyster
stews, brandy julips, cigar boxes, boot-jacks,
absconding shirt-buttons, whist and dominoes.
Shadows present-hoop-skirts, band-bo1es,
CATERS, long stockings, juvenile dresses, little
willow chairs, cradles, pap, sugar teats. para
goric, hive syrup, senna, salts, squills and doc
tors bills. Shadows future-more blessed
babies, hive syrup, ect. I'll just tell you how
| got caught.
was always the darnest, most tea-custard
bashful fellow you ever did see; it was kinder in
my line to be taken with the shakes every
time saw pretty gal approaching me, and
I'd cross the street any time rather than face
one "Twasnt because didn't like the crit
ters. for if | was behind fence looking
through knot-hole, could look at one long
enough.
Well, my sister Lib gave party one night,
and stayed away from home bacause was
too bashful TO face the music. | hung around
the house, whistling "0ld Dan Tucker" =
dancing to keep my feet warm, and watching
the heads bobbing up and down behind the
window curtains, and wishing the laundering
party would break up, so | could get to my
room. smoked up a bunch OF cigars, and 1t
was getting late and nightly uncomfortable
concluded to shin up the door-post. No
sooner said than done, and quickly found
myself snug in bed. "Now," says |, " let her
rip! dance till your wind gives out !" and
cuddling under the quilts, Morpheus grabbed
me.
was dreaming of soft-shell crabs and stew
ed tTipe, and was having a good time, when
somebody knocked at the door and walked me
up. Raped again. laid low. Rap, rap
rapl
Then / heard a whispering, and knew
there was whole raft Of girls outside.
Rap, rapl
Then Lib sings OUT
Jack, are you in thereT'
"Yes," saysI.
Then came roar of laughter.
"Let us in" says she.
al won't" says | cant you let fellow a.
lone2"
care you abed?" says she.
al am" says /.
Get up" says she.
al WON'T" says l. Then came another
laugh. BY thunder began to get riled.
SECT out, you petticoated scarecrowsP
! cried. -.-----' ---
"Can't you get beau without hauling
fellow out of bed / won't go home with you
Il won't-so you may clear outP
Then throwing boot at the door, ! felt bet
ter. But, presently, OH mortal buttons.
heard still, smaller voice, very much like
sister Lbs, and it said:
Jack, you will have to get up, for all the
girls things are in there !"
Oh, Lord, what pickle think Of me in
bed, all covered with shawls, muffs, bonnets
and cloaks, and twenty girls outside waiting
to get in If | had stopped to think, woul''
have tainted on the spot. As it was, rolled
out among the bonnet wire and ribbons in a
hurry.
Smash went the millinery in every direction.
! I had to dress in the dark-for there was crack
in the door, and the girls will peep-and the
way tumbled about was death on straw hats.
The critical moment came. opened the door
and found myself right among the women.
"Oh, my leghorn!" cries one; "my dear,
darling winter velvet" cries another, and
they pitched in they pulled me thisway and
that boxed my ears, and ono bright-eye little
piece-Sal-was her name-put her arms
right around my neck, and kissed me right on
nv lips. Human nature could't stand that
and gave her as good as she sent. It was
the first ever got taste, and it was power
fully good. / believe could have kissed that
gal from julius Caesar til the Fourth Of July
Jack" says she, eve are sorry to disturb
you, but won't you see me homer"
"Yes," said l, a will"
did do it, and had another smack at the
gate, tooi
After that, we took turtlc-doving after
each other, and both of us sighed ike barrel
of new cider when we were away from each
other.
I [The account then proceeds to tell how in
one. course Of time the twain were made and
that's chow he came to be married" v
! JEWISH LOVE FOR THE Holy LASD.-As s an
example of the fervid religious attachment Of
the Jewish population to the holy land, in
! .lioh Ahor hnlinrn the chosen nnnIrle are one