Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1867-10-01
MISCELLANEOUSt.
a Yankee in a Tight Place,

Wur walking along as happy as a lark look
ing about over the pFaiFies and thinking
heOW beautiful the great All Seeing had
made the world and what awful tatirs this
sile would raise. when [ see big drove Of
cattle Just one side. ] wUr admrin' Eeow
fat and slick they wur an loOkin' at their
good pints, when an almighty great briudle
bull jumped up Out'n the tall grass, and be-
gin to shake his all fred big curly head an
beller an switch his tail an paw the ground
over his back. l concluded 1t were best to
let likes if 1 want afraid, an so began TO
whistle, Rake her down, Sal, and other good
Ohunes, thinkin' as hcow I'd slip past the
blasted old cuss; but jist as got OPPersite,
he gin 4 snort an begin to fetch rake in the
sile with his fore feet. put in few Quick
steps bout then, bu: was afeared to run, cos
l kuowed if l did he'd feel encouraged
Putty soon he begin to come on a trot, an
then let out in kind of cauter. Then he
rig to lOpe, an SEEM it were no use waitin'
for him to QUIT just lOosened these ere legs
of mine an come down to best time. FlOoked
'beout for something to climb but thare l
ware in the cusSed prairier and not a pea
stick to be seen higher than a mile ahead
heow L did want to stop right thare an euss
the blasted prairieS. gin glance over my
shoulder an see the evcrlastin' cuss with his
nose down and his tail up, comm jst on the
dead lay deown, and let my legs count an-
other notch. The chase went nip an tuck
till got near the creek when 1 see that the
bull were only 'beoCt a hundred yards be-
hind me. Lord Jehossyfat, but felt queer.
ish when I was sartin he were gainin'; it
gave me such \ skeer that my heart seemed
to dissolve in dish water an my legs kinder
lost their Eeeln' so l could sec lot of trees
ahead a little ways, an eff ] could hold eout
three minits longer I'd be to EN-. l looked
back and the sufFerin' Moses, eff the bull
Wa-n't within twenty feet of me, his eyes all
green and his nostriIs looked like mite put
my head in them, an as red as n bolt of new
flannil, l got almost to the creek when /
found the timber WAS en-. the oppersite side
from me, an the bull SO close / could almost
feel his breath on my check. l thot of my
fAmerle in that offeI time; sex 1, Farewell
little Jed, an you, Sarer Ann, my little COM
Panior. JiJt at this instant l see a stump
right on the bank of the creek, an made
spring for it, expecting to get on top ont, but
it happened to be hOller and landed inside
I jist had room to squeeze deOwn in it an git
my head below the top, an not darn bit too
soon were l in, for as my top-kOOt went
deOwn, Mr.. Bulls head came up whack agin
Fhe'stumP till every thing jiugled.
'.You better believe 1 felt thankful wur
housed at last; and the old cuss of bull
wasn't he disappointed. Lord, hcow he did
rave round that stump, switch his tail, paw
the sile, and heller. peeped up at him,
J4st to see how he were gettin' on but kali
kerlate l Peeped deown again ohel student,
for 1 hadn't morn got my head up till his
horns comes a straddle On it, and his skull
Ait the stump like maui The little Incl
dent convinced me that the best thing could
do was, in the langwidge of Wheeler, to lay
low, watch the black ducks and chaw pokeroot
Just as I'd made up my mind not to put up
my head again, felt the offuIest pain take
me in the leg, l never see. an at the same
time it commenced to whiz, whiz, deOn in
the bottom of the hollow stump, tried to
EOo2 deOwn to see what on airth it could be-
but the holler was so narrer couldn't get
chance to look, an at once it popped into my
head that there were rattlesnaEe in the
stump. When thet Of that made an offel
plunge to get out of the horrid den but the
cusscd bull warnt moIe'n six feet off, an the
mint he seed my head came at me full chiseI.
The fust knowed had lodged back into
the stump agin and hadn't mOre'n touched
bottom a!ure | felt another OfFel keen bite in
my leg. l made a rash to get out agin but
the cussed, iSfernal bull drove at me, an
was blcegcd to pop back asin. As squeezed
down inter my stump agin, would better barrel
of rum that Sarer Ann would be widder in
Fsss'n ten hours. ] tried to cipher out which
would be the most becOmin' for Christian,
to be pizened to death by an ofFel great snaik,
or have my inaTds sluUg to the four winds by
n cussed brindle bull. 1 thot of the martyrs
of Amos billed in lie, Elzer smeared with
honey and Joseph tempted sY Pottifers wife,
and concluded that oft to profit by their ex-
ample, an grin and bear it no matter how
much it went agin the grain. But got list
then. an offel bite OF tew, an'ter save my soul
couldn't help sticken up my head an the bull
bein' on hand let drive on, filed my eyes full
Of dirt an bark, so down L bObbed again for
snaiks- now begun to get bites Ogel fire.
quently, an l squirmed aa' twisted an
screeched at fast rate, an in grabbin' round
Eetched sonethiBg an got a bite in the
hand.
81 helt mp hoIs on to it, and behold, it
proved to be nOthia, Taller jacket. When
found wasn't snaik bit, felt suthin lift
off my stummack ike bag of shot. Glory
10 God seq I, l may live to perfect the wild
der an fatherIess yia felt for 2, mint as
If l didn't keer fur al the yallsv inckets be.
tween the Mississippi and the Missouri but
the blessed Jerushal hadn't seen one there
where l seen thousand in another mint
tried to think of some kind of PRAYER suita-
BE to the occasion, an commenced Now
] lay me down to sleeps but, by Jewdas,
couldn't pray for cussin, jist swOre, bull or
no bull l was gwine to emigrate from that
partickeler spot but every time l put my
head above the stump, the bull pitched at me,
an hit the stump jst like maui, he looked
Ofel furoGious, with his eyes as green an the
foam droppin' from his mouth. was bobin'
up and deOwu so continuerly that l wuz abeOut
half the time in the stump an half the time
eOut, an last felt the stump beginnin' to
give way under the thumps Of the Internal
old brindle heather, an l swar my heart r;z
straight on end made up my mind to git