Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1867-11-01
SCR APPS.

SOMEBODY says the mural Of ball is pleas
ATTEST in q belmorai.
why will a singing master win 10 rae!
Because time flies and the singing master
beats time.
The young ladies mentioned az having
drunk 20 much at the springs this season are
by no means to he considcred aqua-ducks.
Fun-a dreary London weekly-says the
IRISH sharpen their wits on "och hone.
Emily" Charlie. dear sister SOphy has
got httle baby - Charlie J. it II boy
Emily" No. a girl" Charlie (fretiully)
-. q, then ! shall ne a nasty aunt
There is SAID to he very intelligent hen
at beeling. Virginia. which belongs to an
express agent. The eggs laid by this hen
are marked with raised lettera - {. o
D."
al saw a lady wrapped up IN shawl that
she would not take $500 for" SAID Smith 10
Jones. - can beat that all to hollow, re-
tortcd Jones, - for saw lady 60 wrapped
up in her hahy that she wouldn't have tax
en- 5000 GOO for it.
A correspondent land We are sorry to say,
one % the iair SIX has sent to an exchange
the following atroclry - If my fathers head
were DIVIDED into Two equal parts. what time
Of d4y would each portion represent? Halt
past eignt (nali pas tet0.'
A safe tar is q queen, an agricultural
fair Is farmer daughter church fair is
p,rson's wife a soldiers far Is the best
looking girl be Gao get hold Of a char :
fair Is a fenair p.uper; aud the most IN
popular fair in the universe Is the boarding
house fare.
TIE. Lady who wouldn's have the Christ
an Observer IN her room while making her
toilet. hae a brother 50 modest that re ox-
cludes tn, Lady's Companion from his ca am
Ter. Both b, long 10 tue family who eschoW
needles ami hooks heeiuse they have eyes.
and have all the CHAR leg covered
Fly loo..s which the spirited young men
in Virginia play, must he manly end tx
citing sport. Toe players names are writ
tn on pieces Of paper. and lump Of sugar
placed On each. Then begins the eager tx
citement Of waiting for fly to light, and
when it does 50 the name Of the player IN
der the sugar winch has attracted the fly has
10 treat 81 around.
Il Is the intention of the Council OF Sen
ate ct the University Of Cambridge (EnC
land) 70 confer honorary degrees upon the
Blsl0ps of the United States OF America,
now IN Europe. at c0ngreGatl at Cam
bridge 90 Saturday next. wneH it is expected
that as many of the American prelates a.
can do 50 wall present themselves.
A remarkable evidence Of presence Of
mind was recently given in France. N n
sieur J. was talking with his mother-in
law at her country chateau, when a streak
of lightning almost literally reduced her TO
ashes. The dOmestics Tan INTO the room,
when without moving a muscle, Mon-icur
j SAID " John, sweep up my mother
inlaw" Filial household care was never
more happily blended.
CANINE CORRELATION. decline, with
due dignity, to recognize as comic the con-
duet Of a correspondent who inc.oses a slip
from 2 foreign paper TeccuntIn- how sn
English clergyman applied turpent ne TO the
caudal re gion Of . cur, as punishment for
intrusion. Anc bis offence is augmented by
his inquIring whether the rapid run made
by the animal alter the application may be
regarded as an illusiraron Of the scientific
theorem On ''heat as means OF motion. -
Nelv York c, numerical Advertiser.
On the Pacific Railway, IN Kansas, last
Monday between Ellsworth and Hays, al ex-
citing encounter took place between a herd
of buGaloes and a passenger train. For
three miles the bufdlOes pushed along par
allel with the train Many shots were fred.
but nothing STOPPED the tide of the stamped
ed beasts. Finally they swept across the
track. ahead of the locomotive, fairly worst
ing the iron horse by bringing him to
halt.
furniture man in ILLINOIS insists that the
population Of the country Is at this time
making greater increase than any time tor
ten years. For said he. Il have sold
mort bedsteads, Wholesaler retail, since last
July, than for three years previously" "PeO-
pie be continued. 'wIll manage without
bureaus; for chairs they will use boxes and
benches, but every time there Is an increase
Of the population by two, count On the
sale OF one bedstead. - John, 3 he called
out TO the foreman Of bis manu- factory,
''start that other hundred dozen of cheap bed