The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1867-07-04

bachelor that man was Major Teller.
Some men are born to old bachelor
hood-others have old bachelorhood
thrust upon them; and to the former
class belonged the Major. You could
have picked him out in a multitude;
if he had been labeled like an anti-de-
luvian fossil or dried specimen of ento-
moiogy, there couldn't have been
more certainty in the matter.
8 He was asdapper, thin; little man,
something under five feet in hight.
with a glossy black wig, closely trim
med side wfiiskers and a costume SO
daintily neat that he reminded you of
a shining black catl He took aTurk-
ish bath in the morning and a Russian
bath in the evening; he came home to
dinnerlatt welve9precisely and wentto
bed at eleven at night with his boots
standing at the foot offhis bed and his
stockings at the head, his wig elevated
ON the gas fixture, and every chair 10
the room standing at right angles with
the wall! g ssA.f "a - ~ I
1t was high noon on a sparkling,
windy March day when Major Teller
came home to the antique, downtown
boarding house where he had vegeta-
ted for the last twenty years. and went
to his own room to brush his wig for
the midday meal Opening the door,
he stumbled over an obstacle in the
way ,EtAAH& AafA -
.iidrOh, I.beg your pardon I'm sure"
said the Major, turning very red, and
recovering his footing with difficulty.
1t was Miss Patience P~ettigrew, on
her hands and knees, cleaning off the
oil-eloth at the door, aboH sniwT .afs
Now the Major was afraid of Patti
ence-afraid Of her as the plumplamb
fears ii. guant wolf, or the unoffend-
ing robin the dire serpent. Miss Pa
,tience was tall and lean and sallow,
but she curled her hair, and wore an
sung little whistling tunes to a little
spindle legged piano, and firmly be-
lieyed that II she only waited a little
longer she could get married to some.
body! And because the Major sat OPP
posite her at the tableAMiss Patience
helped her widowed sister. keep
house, and served out the gravy and
sauce and resardedher artificial rose
and bears greasy curl with a sort Of
fearful fascination, Miss Patience
somehow op;ned that she should one
day. Cupid wiling, become Mrs. Ma
jor Teller!
q 'It's of no consequence, Major, said
Miss Patience; recovering her piece of
soap, which had skirmished out to the
middle OF, the carpet. al hope your
FIRE isn'touti" sha
aa''Thank you ma'am; it is very good"
II do wonder, Major" said Miss
Patience, with a premonitory giggle,
"why you never get married"
,r7 The Major retired precipitately be-
hind the coal scuttle, and made no re-
ply.
You'd be so much more camforta-
bic, yousknow,' added Miss Patience,
wringing out her wooden cloth, and
looking so lovingly on the Major that
he retreated still farther into his
wardrobe, where among the swinging
efigies of coats and trowsers, he felt
comparatively safe. 73s ,4
Miss Patience hesitated a moment,
and in that moment the Major felt all
the anticipatory agonies of being pur-
sued, captured, brought forth and pos
s.bly married before he could get
breath to demonstrated But she final
ly took up her pail and vanished
Dear me, that was a narrow es-
cape" thought our hero, emerging
from his sanctuary. Some day she'll
be too much for me. Perhaps I'd bet
ter change my boarding place. Yes,
that will be the only safety. I sup-
pose | could very we'll have her sworn
over to keep the peace, and, really,
there's no saying what a determined
woman of City mightnotdo. I'll look
out for a new place Tomorrow"
Dear me, Major. you have no APP
petite said Miss Patience, swe IT,, at
the dinner table. h
No, ma'am," said the Major.
Try to eat a little-just to please
mo / thank you, ma'am."
"Don'tyou know, Major, people will
say you are IN hpe. if you don't eat
more?' smiled the Anticipated spin
ster.H
This was more than our hero could
endure; he rose up and left Miss Pet
tigrew triumphant victor of the wordy
field.
Il won't go back to that house if 1
can help it," thought Major Teller,
brushing the cold dew away from his
forhead with a crimson silk pocket
handkerchief. Her. intentions are
serious; | know they are"
And the Major in his innermost
mind reviewed the catechism and
hymns he had learned as a child; try
ing to think if there was not some in
vocation particularly suited to an ell
derlygentleman in great peril and per-
plexity. But he could not remember