Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1867-01-08
MISCELLANEOUS.
The City Of Lynohburs.

-
= Mozis -4lums, who spent his Christmas
in the town Of Lynchburg as a special re-
porter of the Richmond Examiner, furnishes
the following amusing description of the town
and the people:
The geology of this portion of the State is
very remarkable. observed in my ramb!cs
q haven't been outside the town since l cane
here) some admirable diluvian remains, the
principal of which is market house, found
here by the first settlers few centuries ago
The timbers in this edifice, its elevation above
tide~water, and the .incrustatioDs on the butch
er's blocks, attest its hoary antiquity. The
best biblical students are agreed that it is :,
distinct and lineal relic of Noah's ark, and
1t is within easy reach of some of the best
thinking houses in town. The hill on which
this very interesting and instructive ruin
stands, is Called for some doctrinal or histor-
zeal reason, Jake Knoll
Think I'll step out now, and see if can't
get drink somewhere. No; I'll finish this.
By Jove! it is raining, showing aud sleeting,
at the same time. Here, more punch, quick
View from my window-slish, slesh, slush,
slush. How it pours Plish, plesh, plash,
plosh, plush. Bad walking, slippy, Sloppy,
slappy, sloppy, sluppy. What a town for
man with pump so!cs and wooden leg to
live in. Mid, med, mad, mod, mud, every
where, and up to the hub, aud somebody stole
my umbrella, and l got no Suits, and it
raining pitchtorks, petchforks, patchforks,
potchforks, putchforks-why not punchforks?
What world this would be if it only rained
hot whiskey punch three days in the week,
and egg-nOg ON Sunday, wouldn't it In
that event l would live always, wouldn't |?
Believe I'll sing.
Come thou tount of-scenes that are
meet me by Shaner's alone-old dog Tray
ever-tra tar lar terrum tn too-my Leonora
fare the well-on turkey and champagne this
dirty Xmas wcather-remind me of the
girls.
The ladies' of this city are by far the most
beautiful, accomplished and refined in the
world; the men are bold and fiery as apple
brandy, and the entire landscape is forty de-
grees above proof On every side the con-
testing hills look up in very becoming man
ner; the distant mountains are blue as pop
bottle, and in the West the towering Peaks Of
Otter stand up like-like men determined to
do their durndest, or die in the attempt.
The above is really eloquent, and deserve
drink for Il: Here goes.
People of Lynchburg-the most hospita~
BILE people in the world-treat all the time,
observe Xmas in the most sacred aud festive
manner, with fire-crackcrs, rockets, niggcrs,
ana WHISKY, IN all us forms. IeOpIc, named
generally Latham, Christian, Langhorne and
Guggenheimer. Gug keeps all the stores,
and the rest inhabit the multitudinous hills
and wales. A few named Seabury and Stab
Ter; three kinds of Latham-one thin, dys-
peptic and gloomy-hcnce called Grey; an
other with a blockhead and forehead that
runs back to his coat collar, hence called
Woody third, called Bob, because an
apothecary and eats -Pharoah's serpents for
supper remarkable dwarf, named Baugh,
from Baugh-naugh claugh~ baughville Court
House Other people, equally remarkable,
blowers of tobacco horns and ringers of auc-
ton bells. Places of interest-Poc's Tan
yard and Hollin's Mill.
Curious effects of topography of city-peo-
pie in the morning, when they come down
town, sway backed and bow:legged, from
holding back going down hill in the even
ing when they return home, hump -shouldercd
and x-ankled from leaning over going up
hill. Ali drink liquor, live in mud half the
year, wash their faces sometimes in the morn>
ing and take shares in the new Petroleum
Company. Principal citizen, Col R. Owen =;
got the biggist overcoat on earth, and knows
how to treat newspaper men like house a
fire.