davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1867-12-27

A SOLDIERS JoKE.-During the late
war, while the army of the Tennessee,
under Gen. Joknson,lay encamped near
Dalton, the following rich scene occur
red:
There was very popular dealer in
newspapers there, a perfect Brobdig-
nag in size, rivalling Daniel Lambert
in rotundity of stomach. A regiment
was there about to leave for Mobile,
and our massive friend had some bu-
siness to transact with the colonel
So putting and blowing, he came up a
few minutes before the train started
As he came up a soldier spied him,
and hallooed out: ~ a.|
Boys, here he is i" .aa..,
Instantly the whole regiment were
on the alert, and shout after shout
went up" Here he is! here he is 7
Looking dumbfounded, the. fat man
said: -. ......., "a.
|. - What's up, p,lg gentlemen wha 3
have done ?" u g
/" You are the very man who stole
our big bass drum, and swallowed it, !
went up simultaneously. .4.ayrs
Struck with surprise, he. did not
know whether to laugh or get mad, but
finally said: "Weii, boys, if you'll stay
till evening I'll treat you. "ssa2as5
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1867-12-27
Miscellaneous Items.

Men refine liquor, but liquor never
returns the compliment.
Why is " fitting skirt like a slaugh-
ter pen? Because lean and fat calves
are contained in il. ......
Politeness is not always a sign of
wisdom, but the want Of it is always
a strong symptom of folly. t- o
Conscience. be it ever SO little
worm while we live, grows suddeHly
to serpent on the death bed.
The farmeris a conqueror who wins
victories upon important fields. y.
Satan can never undo a man with
out his aid but man may easily un-
do himself without Satan's. -
We do not easily discover our faults;
the clearest eyes do not see the cheeks
below, nor the brow above. ler5
Cheap-Good advice, lap salve and
promises.
The ship on which lady likes best
to embark on the sea of enjoyment is
courtship.
Il se 1Faoa7l elt
Nuisa es-Cross-eyed spinster,
mischief making women, grumbling old
bachelors, ,diiapidated sidewalks, ,squal-
ling children, frowzy wives, dirty pos,
tai currency and a subscriber who does
not pay for his paper. ..s as zsu
All religion that never suffices to
govern a man, will never suffice TO
save him; that which does not suffi-
ciently distinguish him from q wicked
world, will never distinguish him from
perishing world.
A sinners simple trust in the Sa-
vior is required. A justiied man, no
doubt, will always be a holy man.
True believing viii always be accom-
panied by godly living But that
which givesa man an interest in Christ
is not his living but his taith. e.1
The thing which we should specially
see in Christ crucifed is our sin laid
upon him, and him counted as a sin
ner, for our redemption. 10 fact, we
see on the cross our sins punished,
borne and carried out by our Redeem
i er. g. u9oE94 icc 71tciJ a e1eJ
If it wasn't for hope the heart
wohfd break" as the old woman said
when she buried her seventh husband,
and looked anxiously among the fune-
raj crowd ior another.gRaata 4l 80
In a hot summer when their need is
most, there are fewest brooks. Soo
many peoples ehariries-theS are rar-.
est when most needed. ~ 81 o4a 20
GLUE.-How to have glue always
ready for use Crack up the glue and
put it in aboftle; add otolit common
whisky y shake1up, cork tight, and in
three or four days it can be used. 1t
requires no heating; will keep for
almost any length of time, and is at
| all times ready to use, except in =the
Icoldestof weather, when ite will Sire
auire warming. 1T S must be kept
tight, SO that the whisky will not
[evaporate. The. usual corks or stop
Ipcrs should not be used. 1t will be-
come clogged. A tin stopper, cover
ing the bottle, but fitting as closely as
lpQsslble Is better.as sao7smHA azgm
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1867-12-27
An act to amend an act, entitled "An
M act nrOviding for a check LIST of

An act to amend an act, entitled "An
1d act providing for a check list of
voters" approved Nov. 19, 1865.
1t is hereby enacted, DC.
Sec. L. The provisions Of an act
entitled can act providing for a
checklist OF voters" approved Nov.
l9, 1866, shall apply to every town
or city in this State. in which, at any
freeman's meeting, five hundred or
more votes may nave been cast for
town representative; and it is hereby
made the duty of the aldermen of
such city, or the selectmen of such
town to make out such list of voters
for every annual city, town, or free
mans meeting, in accordance with
said act, without the petition in writ
ing, now required by the first section
of said act.
Sec. 2. The board of aldermen
of such city, or the board of civil au-
thority of such town, may, in their
discretion, direct the opening of not
to exceed three sets of ballot boxes
at different places in the room, when
the town or freeman s meeting is held,
and may divide the alphabetical list
provided for by said act, into the
same number of parts, and no per-
son shall be allowed to vote except at
the place provided for that portion of
such alphabetical list which contains
his name.
Sec. 3. Whenever such additional
sets of ballot boxes shall be opened
under the provisions of this act, the
proper presiding officer shall have the
general direction of the meeting; he
shall suitably notify the voters at
which place each division of said
alphabetical list shall vote, and shall
also receive the votes at one of said
places. At the other place or places
of voting, the votes shall be received
10y one Of the selectmcn, or, in their
absence, by one of the justices of the
( peace, to be named by the board of
civil authority; and the names of all
persons voting shall be checked by a
deputy clerk or clerks appointed for
that purpose by the town clerY. The
boxes shall be turned, and all the
votes received at the several places
Of voting shall be sorted and count.
ed into the manner now provided by
law.
Sec. 4. At any meeting Of the
board Of civil authority, held under
the provisions of said act, the free
mans oath may be administered to
any person who would be entitled to
take the same at the ensuing town or
freeman'S meeting, and thereupon the
name of such person shall be placed
on said alphabetical list.
Sec. 5. No meeting of the board
of civil authority shall be held foI
any hearing, under the provisions of
this act, later than the day preceding
the day of election.
Sec. 6. This act shall take effect
from its passage.
Approved Nov. 6, 1867.
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1867-12-27

count THE CosT. 1t costs some
thing to be true Christian. Let that
never be forgotten. To be mere
nominal Christian, and go to church,
is cheap and easy work. But to hear
Christ's voice, and follow Christ, and
confess Christ, requires much self-de-
nial. 1t will cost US our sins, and our
selfrighteousness, and our ease, and
our worldliness.
Whosoever he be of you that for
saketh not all that he hath, he cannot
be my disciple. Luke IA: 33.
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1867-12-27

An act in amendment of number sew
enteen OF the Acts of 1866, relat-
ing to naturalization.
1t is hereby enacted, &c.
Sec. |. Sections one and two of
number seventeen of the acts OF 1866.
are hereby amended so as to read as
follows:
No court in the State shall natu-
raize any alien, except upon proceed
ings and examination and oath of the
applicant in open court before Judge
thereof, at a regular term of said
court holden in the county where the
applicant resides, and has resided
one full year next previous to the date
of his application. ga asE ee
Sec. 2. If any clerk or judge of a
court shall issue a certificate of ma
turaIization to any alien, except upon
proceedings and the examination and
oath of the applicant in open court as
aforesaid, ana upon due proof of his
residence as aforesaid, such clerk or
judge shall be fined one hundred dol
lars for each certificate so issued by
him, contrary to the provisions of this
act. M 5a .gA
Sec. 3. This act shall take effect
from its passage. ~ -. & III
Approx ed Nov. 20, 1851 ea
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1867-12-27
EFFICACY OF ONIoNs.-A writ

EFFICACY OF ONIoNs.-A writer
says:
ave are troubled often with severe
coughs. the result of colds of long
standing, which may turn 10 consump-
tion or premature death. Hard coughs
cause sleepless nights by constant IT.
ritation in the throat, and a strong eff
fort to throw of offensive matter from
the lungs. The remedy | propose has
been tried by me with good results
which is simply to take into the stom
ach before retiring for the night piece
of raw onion, after chewing. This
escuIent in an uncooked state is very
heating, and collects the water from
the lungs and throat, causing immedi
ate relief to the patient.
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1867-12-27

An act in addition to chapter twenty
four of the General Statutes, en-
titled "Of laying out and discon-
tinuing highways and bridges"
1t is hereby enacted, &c. ,,a
Sec. l. Whenever, in the opinion
of the selectmen of any town, any
public highway in such town is liable
to be distracted by snow-drilts, and
the fences adjoining such highway,
are SO constructed that they may be
conveniently laid down, such select
men may cause any portions OF such
fences to be laid down, to remain
during the then coming winter, under
the same provisions for notice, hear
ing and damages, as are provided IN
section nine of chapter twenty-four
of the General Statutes.
Sec. 2. This act shall take effect
from its passage. 10 aoyaf aiI
s. Approved Nov. 20, 1857. 7.uo8 saa
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1867-12-27

riers, so far as relates to the loss of
property, and the amount and value
thereof, and to personal injury alleg-
ed to have been sustained by the wife
in consequence of the wrongful act
or neglect of such carriers ~
Third. In all matters of business
transactions, where the transaction
was had and conducted by such mar
ried woman as the agent of her hus-
band; provided, that nothing in this
section shall be construed to author
ize or permit any married woman to
testify to any admissions or converse.
tions of her husband, whether made
to herself or to third persons. sa
Sec. 2. This act shall take effect
from its passage. aaqg E1 .eaY
Approved Nov. 13, 1867. sn
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1867-12-27
Approved Nov. 10, 1867.

An act in amendment o. sections
nine and fourteen of chapter sixty
nine of the General Statutes, re-
lating to marriage.
1t is hereby enacted, &c.
Sec. l. Section nine of chapter
sixty-nine of the General Statutes,
is hereby amended so as to read as
follows:
Marriages msy be Solemnized by
any justice, in the county for which
he is appointed, aud they may be sol
emnized throughot the State by any
minister of the gospel, who has been
ordained according to the usage Of
his denomination, and who resides
in this State, and continues to preach
the gospel and to perform the other
functions of his Office, and any per
son solemnizing such marriage, may,
at his discretion, require testimony
under oath, with oath he is hereby
authorized to administer, as to the
occupation, age, residence and rela
tionship of the persons, proposing
marriage, which relationship, if any.
shall be certified and recorded.
Sec. 2. Section fourteen of said
chapter is hereby amended so as to
read as follows:
If any justice of the peace, or any
minister of the gospel, shall join any
person in marriage, contrary to the
provisions Of this chapter, he shall
upon conviction thereof, forfeit a sun
not less than twenty nor more than
one hundred dollars, to the use of the
town in which such offense is commit
ted, to be recovered on complaint of
the grand juror Of said town; anC
any grand juror neglecting or refusing
to prosecute any such offense or com
/ plant entered by any parent or guar
dian Of any person SO joined in mar
riage, shall, on conviction thereof, for
felt aud pay to the use of said towr
the sum of ten dollars, for every sucl
offenSe.
Sec. 3. This act shall take etfec
from its passage.
Approved Nov. 21, 1867.
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1867-12-27

An act in relation to the rights OF
married women.
1t is hereby enacted, &c.
Sec. l. All personal property and
rights of personal action acquired by
any married woman during coverture,
10y inheritance or distribution, shall
Oe held 10y her to her sole and Separ-
ate use.
See. 2. This act shall take effect
from its passage.
Approved Nov. q, 1867.
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1867-12-27

An act in addition to section one
hundred and ten, of chapter TWEEN
ty-two of the General Statutes en-
titled, Common school and school
laws.
1t is hereby enacted, &c.
Sec. 1. It shall be the duty Of the
district clerk to certify to the theach-
er, that the register so returned is
filled out and certified to by said
teacher, required by law; and SAID
teacher shall not be entitled to his
wages except on presentation of said
certificate to the prudential committee
of said district.
Approved Nov. 10, 1867.
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1867-12-27

Many philosopher who thought he
had exact knowledge Of the whole hui
man race, has been miserably cheated
in the choice of wife. a.i
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1867-12-27
LANE, ADAMS n co.,

LANE, ADAMS n CO.,
GENERAL COMMISSION MERCHANTS,
and wholesale dealers in
FLOUR, BUTTER, CHEESE, EGGS, BEANS AND
ALL KINDS OF COUNTRY PRODUCE.
Liberal Cash Advances made on Constgnments.
50 Main Street, Springf Id, Mass.
HB LANE. o. d. ADAMS. o. Ii. SMITH.
REFERENCES Ballou & hiobard, Boston, Crook,
Palmer & Co., Albany, Henry Lansing, Al
81 bdny, Agawam National Bank, Springfield.
Am RUGGLES, vi. d.,
HO NJ R o p A T II l S t
25 BARTON, VERMONT
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1867-12-27

May your whole family be jammed
into one coffin" is an expressive Chi
,nese oath. an 44s2a
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1867-12-27

Lazy men, like sporting characters.
think great deal of the home stretch.
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1867-12-27

give bonds as required in the preced-
ing section of this act; or, if any
person chosen to the Office of collector
of taxes in any school district, shall
upon the request of the prudential
committee of such district, refuse to
perform the duties of such Office, his
Office shall be vacant.
Sec. 3. All acts and parts of acts,
Inconsistent with this act are hereby
repealed.
Sec. 4. This act shall take effect
from its passage.
Approved Nov. 81, 1867.
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1867-12-27

GKANDEY, SKINNER u PARKER,
dealers in
GROCERIES & GENERAL HARDWARE.
BARTON LANDING, VERMONT,
Agents for NAILS, PLows, sc, at Whole
sale and Retail. Il
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1867-12-27
n P- RAI.I.ARD A. Co..

Ill. Il. BALLARD n Co.,
PRODUCE COMMISSION MERCHANTS.
For the sale of Butter, Cheese, Lard, Tallow,
Eggs, Beans, Peas, -Four, Grain, Hops, Wool,
Poultry, Game, Veuison, Green and Dried
Fruits, Cotton, Tobacco and all kinds Of
Country Produce.
1872 WASHINGTON ST., New YORK.
Also Agents for the Great United States TEA
WAREHOUSE. All orders promptly attended To
References North River Bank, N. Y. City; Da-
vid MUIR, Broadway, N. Y; Ballard & Bro g,
Richmond, Va; d. q. McCotter, l4l Broad
way, N. Y; SmIth Maynard. is CourtI,lnd
ST., II. Y; II l.. SimsUn, 1856 Washington ST..
N. Y; I. WhitebOu>e, 25 Courtlaild ST.. N
Y ID. s. HdYeiIs. Southampton, l.. l.
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1867-12-27
COOKING STOVES.

COOKING STOVES.
EOOD sam irtAn, Stewart. Soap Stone, Parior
VI Office, rud other stoves, always on hald.-
Our STOCK is -qch the largest W be found III the
county. We eau undersell all competitors in
this branch OF trade. See ii we can't.
T.. IL. TRUE n co.
Newport. Jan. 25. 1867
M. }. BLACK,
Hei LICENSED AUCTIoNEER.
NRwPoxr, VEkAoxr. gn
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1867-12-27
COFFINS AND CASKETS

N excellent assortment of Coffins and Cas-
n kets always kept ON hand ami furnished &
order with appropriate trimmings, and at shor
notice by
N...,..1rt- Inn 15 lS67
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1867-12-27

In cemetery near Seville is very
beautiful though simple marble cross,
on which isa engraved these lines iu
Spanish: +ss fse,I4ss a5t 2aomk
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1867-12-27

The ship on which a lady likes best
to embark on the sea of enjoyment is
courtship.
Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1867-12-27

nuisance es-Cross-eyed spinster
mischief making women, grumbling old
bachelors, ,dilapidated sidewalks, ,sqlal-
ling children, frowzy wives, dirty pos,
tai currency and subscriber who does
not pay for his paper. .a a 1s1
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1867-03-20
The Latest EaEs.

AEc LateSt EOHSs
There were 435 arrivals at the Ameri-
can Hotel during the month, ending
1iarch 18th.
Dir Simpson T. Taylor. Of this place
has EXCHANGED his residence and Eve acres
Of land adjoining, for the fa1a of Dr.
John A. Davidson, containg $50 acres,
about five miles from Staunton
On Wednesday last, the 18Th inst
Mr. George Gilbert was drowned in Jack
sons River at ..Montague's Ford" about
two miles above Jackson's River Depot.
the present terminus Of the Va Central
Railroad.
It is stated the President is determined
to nominate only Democrats, and the re-
sponsibility for vacancies will rest with
the Senate.
An election riot between citizens and
soldiers resultcd in the death of one Of
each party, in Carlisle, Pa, on the 10th.
Baltimore Markets report Cotton firm
higher grades improved most: Middling
Uplands 80 to 800 cts Gulf 80 cts
Flour quite firm at the late advance Of
30 cts. Corn active: White s1.06 to
-s109. Provisions higher: Mess Pork
S2275 to $4,000; Bulk Shoulders to
0l cts. WhisI5ey nominal Gold 1344
LATER NEWs.-The Fenian excitement
continues in ireland, but the news is un-
important.
The Legislature Of Virginia has not adj
journed.
Hon. John 3. Baldwin is making a
powerful effort to save the credit Of the
State. but as yet no action has been taken
ior paying the interest on the State debt.
Gen. Scho6eld has decided that there
be nc elections until a register Of voters is
made. The old officers hold over.
The roads are in a horrible condition in
this county,-worse than ever before
known. Wood is So 90 per cord, and
hard to get at that price. Country pro-
ducc, scarce and high. Our farmers
should make every effort to relieve the
wants of the people now-it viii pay them
well.
The news from Washington indicates
the passage Of the Wilson Bill without the
Sentiment cath"
The list of appointments of the E. NJ.
Church will appear next week. They
we're mislaid until too late to be.set up for
this issue.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1867-03-20
A school Wanted.

The und ersigned. who has had Is years
experience in the practice Of Tuition wishes
to engage a School for thesens,ling year. All
the branches pertaining to a liberia. English
Educat, on will be taught, including the Latin
language. Or,
He would take charge of a PRIMARY
SCHOOL in Staunton, (if sufficient encour-
agement be given) in Which pupils from to
~ years of age will be Thoroughly instructed
in all the Elementary branches, thus prepar-
ing them to enter the higher Schools with
credit to themselves. T. J. ALFRED.
march 2O-tf-V copy
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1867-03-20
Rich and Rare Books

And Carries de Niste from life, 1or gentle
men. Sample Carries, z0c, or seven ter ST.
Steroscoplc Views, just IRON Paris French
Transparent TAI DIS, color, d and plain. Some
thing new, three albums. each containing II
French Pictures; size by 10; SINGLE copies
90, or for the three 50. French Safes Ter
gentlemen, to prevent disease and generation,
OF The very finest quality; price $3.50 per
dozen. Microscopic Chan ms, Knives, Rings,
Opera Glasses, and Pins, and ali kinds of
Sporting Fancy Goods. Send Tor informa-
ton TO u. J. CONTENTS Purchasing Agenz.
cy. 70 Nassau street. New York
mlt.et, ~
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1867-03-20

LoyAL-The Ilarrisonhurg Common
wealth giycs as inaispu'able evidence #
LOYALTY the fact that btcch ink is used alto
gether in Flat Office.
While an officer was bowling, cannon
ball passed over his head and decapitated
soldier who stood behind him. You see. :.
said the officer to those near him '.tllat a
man never loses anything by politcness. >
A Con scderate while in an Indiana pri
son whitfield out model Of cotton press
He claims that with the help of a good Gin
he can gin and pack a bale OF cotton.
weighing five hundred aud twenty five
pounds in two hours
s.SEeURirY Considering the career
Of Butler in New Orleans Dow. in Pen
sacola. and lesser generals and Gem
manders in other sections during the war,
there is grim righteousness in proposing
to establish military governments in the
South to afford security to property. =
.Eartinsbmg Era.
NOT BAD LLUsTEATIoN.-A letter
from an officer Of the iuited States army,
a northern man, written for South Caro-
lima published in the New York Times
compares Sumner and the other extreme
Radicals to Lindsey. the conscientious
gentleman who whipped his little child to
death because he wouldn't say his prayers.
Daniel Webster. now in bronze dress
coat and pantaloons in front Of the state
house in Boston, is in great danger, and
there is every prospect that before long.
his pedestal will be vacated and the statue
be sold or ratified for the benefit Of the
treedmens bureau. and Charles Sumner
or Benjamin +. Butler put in his stead.
--E.ran9ner.
THE INFAMOUS Two-THIRDs. The
World, as matter of history puts upon re-
cord in very prominent from. the names of
those members Of Congress, who on Sat-
urdav March 2, voted to pass over the
President s veto bill to aunul the coust-
tuition Of the United States ); to subvert the
government Of ten States in the Union
and to substitute them fora military des-
potisn." The list is published in deep
black The World says: "The time is
coming when every name on the list will
stand accursed in history Their children
will deny their descent form the infamous
two thirds Of the Thirty ninth Congress. .
INTERNAL REVENUE TAX The act
approved March 2, 1867. amending the
existing laws relating to internal revenue,
requires the assessment of the annual taxes
heretofore made in the month of May to
be made on the corresponding days in the
month Of March The principal changes
in law respecting income tax are those in
creasing the exemption from 5000 to
81 goo, and the repeal of the tax OF ten
per cent, on sums above $1,000. so that
the law now imposes uniform tax of five
per cent, on incomes in excess Of ST 600
Profits on sales of real estates purchased
since December 81, 1853, are made taxa
bic as income.
The Valley Virginian. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1865-1895, 1867-03-20
REMOVAL.

Having removed TO the old stand of Isaac
Paul s Co., lately occupied by S. N. Giles &
Co., respectfully solicit from my friends and
patrons a continuance Of the liberal patron-
age heretofore extended me, for which here
by tender MY most grateful acknowledge
nents. My stock will be found very complete,
consisting, in part, of a beautiful selection of
Ladies' Dress Goods, White Goods, Gents
Wear, Boots, Shoes, Hats, Caps and Notions,
all of which are offered low for cash or in ex-
change for Country Produce.
mar 2O-tf -WM. NJ. POOLE.