The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1867-07-13
Watering Place Felicities-A sketch
for those who Stay at Home.

The following article from "Spice of
Life" column OF the Boston Commercial
Bulletin is intended for those who "can-
not get away" from home these sweltcr-
ing days, and are entitled to have Il
poor opinion of all watering places:
In response to many anxious inQui-
ries where to spend the summer, we
print the following announcements
from gentlemen eminent in the hotel
and summer boarding business:
HIGIIPRICE HOUSE.
GEEENBACK FALLS, n. Y; OvERCHARGE,
STICKEM d Co., ProprietorS
The proprietors of this palatial ho-
tel. uncaualed on the American CONT
uent for its enormous charges and in
fcrior accommodations, respectfully an
nounce that the house is now open for
the discomfort and Inconvenience OF
guests. The house has been reiitted and
renovated on the Canal street plan,
(cheap and nasty) The backyard has
been enclosed by new pine fence,
elegantly frescoed in whitewash by the
eminent artists in lime, Daub, Smear
well Il Co., and a large and imposing
wood pile has been built in the north
east corner, trcm plans furnished by the
eminent Greek architect, Mikell Rifle,
Esq.
4 new and commodious pig pen has
also been added directly under the rear
windows sf the hotel, and furnished
with q full chorus of strong langeu,
shrill voiced swine .-ho VIII De led anu
st;rred M .,aiIy from 3 to A. NJ. There
IS the strongest evidence already in the
rear apartments that this depart
will be highly successful.
Every sleeping room in the house is
furnished with wash bowl, pitcher
and Il bottle of bug poison; clean towel
every Monday morning. Gentlemen
NAV ring for anything they want, and
the proprietors hope they may get it.
Guests desiring seats ut the table can
easily obtain them by properly feeling
the head waiter. Chcekey Bribe, Esq.
The office clerks have been selected
from the brightest ornaments of that
brilliant professions; they will be clad
in the most expensive garments and
gorgeous shirt fronts. The BARRIERS shop
will be reserved from 9 to IL A. NJ. for
their exclusive use; and their cluster
diamond breast-pins are warranted to
be superior in size to those OF any mig
ger minstrel in the country.
These creatures are each provided
with span of trotting horses, terrier
dog and gold watch, and had long and
valuable experience i'll billiards, faro
and draw-pOker; and any gentleman
who has the stamps can be accOmmoda-
ted to game ut short notice. If they
are net otherwise engaged in the bill
lard or bar-rOom, travellers will find
one of these gentlemen in the office.
who will not pay the least attention to
their presence for half an hour after
their arrival, at which time he may con-
descend to direct them to the wash
room, and tell them he will see what he
can do for them in the way of a cot in
the bowling alley, all the best rooms in
the house being reserved for sporting
men and bar-keepers.
A body of muscular baggage-smash-
ers will he present on the arrival OF
trains, and any gentlemen getting his
trunk to the hotel whole will please to
notify the proprietors, who would also
call attention to the hackmen connect
eel with the house, who cannot be cqnal.
ed by any other body of blackguards
North of the New York Common Coun'
Gil. Every driver is provided with brass
knuckles, slung shot, and choice as
sortment of oaths, with which lie will
speedily convince any passenger of his
error who may be unwilling to sdbmit
to extOrtiOn.
Guests receiving any attention from
the employees of the house will please
notify the proprietOrs.
Hard fsted porters will wake up th'
whole floor, when any gentleman wishe.
to leave by early train,