Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1867-08-09
Things Wise Su Otherwise.

Things Wise 81 Otherwise.
What roof covers the most noisy
tenant? The roof Of the mouth.
The man who never told an editor
how he could better his paper, has gone
out West to marry the woman who
never looked into q looking glass.
Ralph Waldo Emerson said in his
Phi Beta Kappa oration mt Harvard
last week: THE true hope OF any time
must always be sought for In minori-
ties.o
A gentleman called To see atenement
that was to be let. 1t was shown him
by q pretty, chatty woman, whose
manners charmed her visitor. "Are
you to be let, too9" inquired no with o
am; I'm to be let alone.n
The Prince OF Wales Is becoming of
Tended by the familiarity of his Fall
stafls. When lie walks into the smok-
ing room Of a club, instead of every
body rising aud taking off their hats
to receive him, they only nod their
heads, with familiar "How are you,
Wales"
A military officer wanted To compli-
ment a negro by drinking with him.
well, Captain replied Cuff, Use
very dry, SO won't be ugly about it,
Some niggers IL too proud to drink wild
milishy ossifers--but think milishy
ossifer, WHIT n sober, IL just as good as
niger specially II the niger is little
dry"
An absent minded professor. in going
out OF the gateway OF his college, ram
against o COW. In the confusion of the
moment he raised his hat and exclain-
ed, II beg your pardon, madam
Soon after he stumbled against q lady
in the street; In sudden recollection OF
his former mishap, he called out, lis
that you again, you brute?"
A few evenings ago, little boy sat
looking In silence at the stars, as they
come forth with the shade of night
At length he spoke to his father who
sat near him and asked, Pa. are NOT
ton from child of four years old, en-
bodies sublmity of poetic thought,
which few gray heads would conceive.
There Is q German family In Galcna,
who In daily conversation use the En-
glish language, but the mother teaches
the same german prayer she used to re-
peat I'm her childhood, away back ON
the banks Of the River Rhine. One
night, as little Earnest, n precocious
chap of four, was quietly going through
his evening devotion, he suddenly
electrified and astonished his mother
by exclaiming--aMa, why do we al
ways talk Yankee and pray German?
Is God Dutchman ?'
The jecring skeptic who SCOTS at re-
ini off he .lxs
more women than men mako profess
sion Of faith and become members OF
the church"' and ask it with an air
that suggests the doubt whether Ii may
not be because the latter are more
strong minded. 1t Is proposed to an
swer tlie above question when skeDtics
shall answer this: Why is Ii that.
among the hundreds who crowd our
penitcntiaries, there are so many more
men than women?
An exchange very happily hits of
the new style OF ladies' dresses by say
ing that it recently met a "twenty-four
year old woman with a fourteen year
old dress on.n We recently saw, on
our streets, o thirty year old woman
with ten year old dress on. To add
TO her attractions, her hair was elevated
at about an angle OF forty-five degrees
above the back of her head, and, away
out on the. end of 1t, some fourteen
inches away from her head, she wore
something intended for bonnet. "A
we looked ut her we conld hardly resist
an inclination to 'snicker right out.n
Marriage Is, in common parlanee,
said TO be the making of new ties
Pondering on this subject, / have no.
ted down some of the ties with which
should like marriage to make me &C.
quaintcd. ff.l
Firstly, should like to find beauty
combined with purity, modes-ty, SEN
slbili-ty and fldeli-ty.
Secondly. / should wish to meet
with a property la certainty which
would be surety, to make the mar.
riage tie duty, and security to socie-
ty. For variety, i should delight i,i
an occasional gaye-ty, gravity, loquaci-
ty and jolli-ty, accompanied always by
an infini-ty of amlabili-ty.
Could find all these ties I'm unity, /
think the new tie would indeed prove n
novelty. and, | am quite sure, q nice
ty, which would make life reality
In such case, should not ut oil mind
giving up the only tic 1 have at pres
ent, my liberty.