Wilmington journal. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1844-1895, 1867-01-03
Most PuisSdnt, VirtuouS and
Maq,.aniiaaous Ensperor


under the all-cheering influence of imperial des-
potism, most humbly return our grateful acknowl-
edgments for the promised happiness afforded us
by your gracious acceptance of the high office to
which your free and loyal subjects unanimously
selected you. Sire by the Inpe-fede-repnb-demo
despotc title of John the First, Emperor of the
Globe, Procreator of the Universe Grand Mas
ter of the Elements, Protector of Arch Conscien-
ces, and Representative of the immortal Hoyle.-
But at the same time that your frae, loyal and
independent slaves are thus prcstratlng them
selves at the foot of your throne, contemplating
with ioy the Globular Rotundty Of your August
Person, which physiognotraces virtaes as bound
less as space; permit us to express the due sense
of tire liberty and happiness We experienced un-
der your ever to be revered despotic predecesso or
and to pray that the new dynasty, which common
ces in your more elevated self, may be the means
OF seeming to your Majestys loyal slaves the ir c
exercise OF their liberties and rights-th&t
no innovation be made in the common law
of the Society; but that tue Ace may be
permitted to take the Deuce, and the
Deuce, when trurnps, to take the Ace that
is not. That the four honours and the do card
i'm vour own hand, may confirm your well known
moderation in the hearts of yOur subjects -that
the rules OF our sage lawgiver, Hoyie, may intlu-
cnce the decisions OF your Majestys Judges. and
that the goddess of our dolatry, FOltllne-may be
permitted to cohabit with Chance, generate good
luck in YOUR Majesty's behalf, and load your I'M
perial Golfers with Nine Pennies, rs plentiful as
the grapes of Portugal With this expectation
from your Imperial Catholic Majesty we raise our
hands above our heads bt I'd our stltf and groVel-
ing necks to the und for the future health your
Globular Person. the prosperity and happiness OF
the New Dynasty: and most deV0utiy pray that IL
NAV please Won Sire, as Grand Pro Creator of the
Universe to increase and multiply your own pro-
cenv till they become numerous as the sands
on the sea shore-tnat our posterlty to the end OF
eternity may enjoy the benefits of yonr unfathom-
able virtues thus, may it please your all potent
Majesty, the committee appointed by yonr loving
subjects have vainly endcaVUurcd to express their
zeal, affection aud regard towards your Imperial
person, but their reverence, admiration and love-
as far exceeds the power oflanguage to describe as
the pro-eminent talents and virtues OF your eleva-
ted mind transcends the puny, insignificant means
of the Corsican Boney as the maieslcal dignity
of your person eXcels the pignly Ihlilputlau as
your Globe exceeds the magnitude of a Lut shell
Thus as the Universe and future generations,
the elem 'uts, the arch cunSciCnces, and the ghost
of the immortal Hoyle, are humhl. presented and
placed under your magualIilnOus probationary
your all-searchnS eye penetrate the lntrcacies OF
fnesSe, defeat the Vaccinations of deylIiSh bad
luck, and pocket all the nine pennies Of your sub
jects. And when it peases your only superior to
put stopper to the current of life after the lapse
of thousand YEARS. and deprive your loving VAS
sails of the vital influence of your presence, then
may your Arch Majesty enjoy the paradise OF Ma
homet which is preparing for you, with the exclu-
sive privilege of quating unauthorized nectar or
the unadul Grated vintage of 1901.
His imperial majesty, John the FIRST, lis
tened to the address of the committee with
lively emotion depicted upon his rubicund
countenance, and rising from his seat, with
a profound bow to each member of the
club, in regular rotation, he responded as
follows:
Gentlemen Of the Nine Penny Whist Club,
Ny Free and Itdepeadem VdSsdlS ::
You are called together to consult upon the mo-
mentOus affairs Of State, with regard to which, it
is your duty to offer me your opinion and it will
be my pleasure to pursue my own. But first You
are commanded, under peril incumbent, to take
Off rial CrHO q y
Now, myvassals and gentlemen, you are pleased
TO inform me that am rotund and gracious, so far
the observance OF old laws and constitutions, per-
NIT Inc to remark, that an EmperOrs Deuce ought
ever to take the Ace of trumps: in other particu
lars not touching the prerogative, the Emperor
willeth that the constitution be preserved. With
regard to our foreign relations, have only to OBJ
serve, I placed in high attitude with my
brother Emperors, all my interiors, as you ought
to know but l en- er into entangllng alliances ="
with no one thirst for no more blood / am a
man of peace; I b-andish DO weapon but the
cork-screw. Gentlemen vassals, telicitate you
on the number of my subjects and adherents, and
with the assistance of my Procreator. General,
shall not fail to usher into globuar existence sun
dry EmperOrs apparent, equal IN number to the
Knights of the Round Table. Sit down to my
round table, gen lemon, and pitch into my perial
vintage OF 1901.
We have no doubt but that full justice
was done to the entertainment, for the pre-
siding officer was famous in those days for
the purity of the liquors he imported, it
was q common saying among the "bon vi
wants " of that period, that man could put
his quart under his waistcoat, and wake in
bell There was no doctored stuff" then,
but the pure Juice of the grape, the gener-
Gus Madeira, the sublime Port, the veneer
able and oily London Dock, all these in
abundance and without stint, which glad
dened mans heart, and made him feel
kindly disposed towards all creation. We
have no further account of the proceedings
of the Club, TO record of any further &C
ton. How long it existed we have no data
to determine. It has given us great pleasure
to lay before our readers this sketch of some
of the peculiarities, the habits and man
ners of the old Cape Fear regime. The gen
tlemen who composed that Club, were the
first citizens of the place, distinguished for
their virtues and intelligence, the genial
hospitality, chivalric courtesy, and rigid
observance of all the amenities of social in
tercourse. Quick to resent an indignity,
they were equally prompt to forgive and
forget all differences that would sometimes
occur. The spirit of malice or of envy
found no lodgment in their breast, and
gmoothed-f Hypocrisy Stunned their
presence, for their generous tongues dis
dained to speak the thing their heartreject
ed. They have long since mouldered into
dust, and in the ancient burial ground of
old st. James n few brown tombstones, de-
faced by age and long exposure, still
remain, and in plain and simple language,
the unadorned language of truth, recount
the many virtues of those who sleep be-
Meath We who live in this progressive
age boast loudly of our wonderful improve
ments in mechanics, in the arts and
sciences and marvellous inventions, by
means of which time and space are almost
annihilated. We claim to live in an age of
enlightened reason each is striving with
the other for success, and pressing on for