The New York herald. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1840-1920, 1867-03-09

Tho pame Of one or our pensioners was Bevans HIS
ncknamel "UncIe BIboins.n He loved his glass
and was excessively fond OF relating apocrypha revou
touary adveniures We could hardly name battle
which he had not becn In fortress which ne had not
helped TO storm, nor any remarkable sight which he had
''Uncle Bbbins' had nearly used up his pension Ia
trade at store We held his papers but three months
were to eapse before he could aw his money We de-
sired to devise some plan TO get him away for that length
OF timo. He had relations In Guilford, aad limited
to him that II y, would Be for HIM 70 spend few
thought would effect our design
uncle Nicholas. He was fond Of . joke in
duced him TO call ..Uncls Bibbins" coward, tell him
woke duel He did SO, and at my suggestion "Uncle
Bbbins'' challenged Benton to tight him with musket
and ball At 2 distance Of twenty yards.
"UncIe Bibbns, " aud the duel was TO come oil mme-
diaiely My principal, taking me aside begged me to
put nothing In the guns but blank cartridges assured
him II should be and therefore that he might feel
perfectly safe. This gave the old man extra courage
and him to Drag tremendously He declared that
he had been long in bloody battles for nothing,
and that he would put bullet through Bentons heart
ct the first shot
Tho ground was measured in the lot at the roar OF
our store and the principals and seconds took their
places AZ the word given both parties fired
sUncle Bbbins" Of course escaped unhur but Benton
leaped several feet into the air. and fell upon the
ground with dreadful yell, as 4 he had been really
to him. told him that In my hurry TO take the ball
from Bentons gun had by some mistake neglected TO
killed his adversary. ! then whispered to him 70 go
Immediately to Guilford to keep quiet and no should
hear from me as soon as would be safe to DO So He
started up the street and immediately quit the
town for Gurord where he kept himself quiet until "
time for him to return and sign his papers then
wrote him that che could return in safety that almost
mraculously his adversary had recovered from his
wound and now forgave him ALL he felt himself much
70 blame for having in tho first place insued man Of
Uncle Bbbins" returned signed the papers, and
obtained the pension money. few days Thereafter ne
''sy brave old friend" said Benton 81 forgive you
my terrible wound and long confinement on the worry
brink Of the grave and bog you to forgive mo also.
insuted you without cause I"
~ forgive You freely" said Uncle Bibbns," SHUT"
he continued, you must DO careful next time how you
nsul. dead shot"
Benton promised to BIO moro crcumspect in future,
and "unclc bbnsn supposed to tho day OF his death
that tho duel wound, blood and all was plain matter
Of TACT
Barnum Humbugs n Poor Irish Pedler-The
Bogus Trial.
Notwithstanding my pressing business engagements
occasionally INDUCED in what always gave
much pleasure, practical joke. On one occasion
Irish pedier called rpon my UNCLE Edward flor Tor
writ against OF our neghbors who, ho said, had
turned him OF his house and otherwise abused him
My uncle told him that he knew our neighbcr to DO
peaceable we'll disposed man, and that he he
had never turnedany person out OF bis house without
good reason should therefore decline being engaged
In the case Tho pedler came into my storo and after
hearing his story was convinced that he was himself
TO blame. told him praciised at tue bar and would
handed mo lee OF a couple Of dollars, and pro-
ceeded to issue . writ naming the hour for trial
a. eleven oelocF the same day The writ was put
serve II instantly upon the defendant Owing TO tho
importance Of tho case brought i before three JUDGES
happened ut that time to be building chimney In
the vilage) and Zachariah Porter our village butcher
The anticipated trial was Immediately nosed all
the place. and at eleven O'Clock my mothers barroom
was crowded with spectators The three venerable
much dignity II they constituted the Court Of Errors
II decidedly democratic court In appearance for
pearcd In his shirt sleeves sJadgs Parsons" oominx
directly from his unfinished chimney, old pair
Judge Porter, appeared without coat, his other
clo.hng considerably stained with The blood Of oalf
Tho prisoner had not yet arrived end Of would
not, inasmuch rs had really mot sent for him Ny
Intensely occupied 10 writing out tho hepas s
mont notes OF the evidences required, Gu Every few
non appearances Of the pssonsr, who hoped had rot
tho vigilance q hs :nss ana woSa there
conslSesaoy excited ana nsa irssuon
whisper n my car ssk3g questions and making
tho qualities OF specimen OF soap Finally,
asked my ciont in low tone how long wo,id require
him bring testimonials VI his good character into
court He replied that several days would be needed,
ipasmuch he resided in Fairfield Conn. suggested
that purpose That idea pleased him. He could by that
time, he said, procure so0re or adavs setting forth
that hs was poaceable, honest and well disposed
then rose with much dignity and made the motion 10
adjourn the court for week. stating my reasons there
grandfather delivered ts dccs0n Tho honorable Chie
Justice stated that q was customary, upon motions
baing made for ADJOURNMENT 70 do 20 when good
cause shown, but never except upon pay
ment Of costs BY tho party making the notion that
but nasmuch Is my cliont was stranger court bad
concluded TO wave the COSTS and subject tho plaintiff
ThtS tn hn eli m
motion should prevail. provided my client stood rcat
all round" We willingly accepted the decision Of the
favor ON the ground Of his being . stranger In
Bethel. and At once proceeded to treat all the loyal
did arrive, assured my client ne nectgvc him
self no uncasincss upon that point would be sur, TO
heavy bonds for his on Thursday o tho fo
lowing week, that beng tho priod TO which the court
MY cen then started for Fairfield to procure ai,davss
OF character Tns was all we expected to hcr about the
CASE as We were quito sure that tho rst persons to whom
he ea cd his adventure would undcccivc him In regard
70 the facts aud Of course that he would DO too much
ashamed TO reappear.
On the following Thursday. at about o'clock, a
lawyer Newtown rode into Bethel dsmoun.cd aud
walked into the law Office Of my uncle Edsn Taylor.
After passing the compliments Of the day be said "we
brother taylor have TO try to-day believers
mo, that am aware Of" said my uncle.
been ascd 10 stst you In the prosecution OF man
for abusing our client"
sswho Is our ellen. - asked my uncle
can Irish man, pcdlsf," was the response
My uncle what was 10 the wind and mercly
replying, 20 yes. had forgotten IT," excused him
self for a few minutes Hc then and Informed
mo OF the state Of the case. was somewhat alarmed
and ran it'll the information to my grandfather He
feared would prove serious natter and locking him.
self In his bedroom gave not c. to his household that
he was mot al home that afternoon
The chimney on which Judge PARSONS was engaged
was jas. pcering through the roof OF the build
Ing, and the venerable dispenser Of law. sitting
astdde the ridge OF the house, calling
more naortln more mortar,l Just as my head and
shoulders became visible ON the top Of the ladder
hasened acquant Judge Parsons with the turn
law Joke was taking, npon which, In much fright he
begged to 70 down as soon as possible so that hc
could place himself ond the reach OF the Newtown law
yer any other adversary Idescendcd the Judge mmo
dately drew up tho ladder. and thus cut OF all
ncation with tara TRIVIA jumped on q horse and
started for Danbury giving notice to tn, butcher whose
house passed upon tho way that would be dangerous
for him 10 approach tho village At that time
The Irishman soon made his appearance. Ny uncle Ed
ward had the meantime explained the affair 10 tho New
town lawyer, who exceedingly chagrned At tho
slakcnr Calling his client aside he demanded fec OF
So The Irishman handed over tho money, whoreupon