davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1867-03-07
FUN, FACTS, AND FACETIE.

The LADIEs.-May their virtues ex-
ceed even the magnitude of their skirts,
while their faults are still smaller than their
bonnets.
Glow do you define black as your
hat ?" said a schoolmaster to one of his
pupils. Darkness that may be 'feF ," re-
piled the youthful wag.
"FM afraid you'll come to want"
said an old lady to young gentleman. 81
have come to want already was the reply :
" l want your daughter"
A MIsERLY old farmer who had lost
one of his best hands in the midst of hay
making, remarked to the sexton as he was
filling up the grave Its a sad thing to
lose good mower at time like this f.; but
afr all poor Tom was a great eater.
MISERY assails riches as lightning
does the highest tower or rs tree that is
heavy-laden with fruit breaks its own boughs
so do riches destroy the virtue Of their pos
SCISSOR.
A MARRIED monster says he once
had most delightful dream, in which he
imagined he had an angel by his side, and
on waking up found it was only his wife.
A GENTLEMAN asked friend if he
ever saw catfish. "No," was the re-
sponse, "but have seen a rope walk"
GIVE trust that the Lord is on our
side, Mr.. Lincoln" said the speaker of q
delegation of Christian men to the Presi-
dent, during one of the darkest days of the
rebellion. 81 do not regard that so essen
tial as something else, replied Mr.. Lincoln.
The pious visitor looked horror-struck un-
til the President added: Il am most con-
cerned to know that we are ON the Lords
side"
SOME persons are always behind,
hand. Some one said Ito person of this class,
81 see that you belong to the three-hand-
ed people" Three-handedi That's rath-
er uncommon; 90, no, common enough
two hands like other people-and a It'll
behind hand.
PROF. BLOT says: Never drink
tea at breakfast; it is suicide. Drink coffee
or chocolate. If you drink tea at ALL drink
| it after lunch or dinner. Coffee should moi
be boiled, and should be perfectly clear O
ITSELF without any foreign substance useG
for clearing it.
Isn't there an awfully strong smell
of pigs in the air" asked Smith of Jones
eyes" replied Sones, "that's because tn,
wind is from the solo-west."
BRAsIDAs, the famous Lacedamo
nian general, caught mouse; it bit him
and by that means made its escape. "Oh
Jupiter?' p cried he, "what creature so con
temptible but may have its liberty if it vii
contend for it,"
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1867-03-07

LIVING TOO FAsT-Most people live
too fast in this country We ero1Cd
life. Without intermission we feed
our mental furnaces with the pitch
pine of excitement, and the conse-
quence is that too many of us collapse
long before the time when we might
be expected to succumb to the regu-
lar wear and tear of the voyage Of
life. Business energy is fine thing,
but man is a machine, built upon the
compensating principle. It's tenden-
cy to 1chlz must be restrained and reg
ulated ; otherwise, something is sure
to snap prematurely, and the "won-
derful work" be suddenly shattered
Our men of extraordinary enterprise,
seem to forget this, or not to under
stand it. They allow their brains and
nervous systems no rest: In too ma
ny cases man Of this stamp gives
neither God his due, nor nature the
sweet repose that she requires, on the
Sabbath day. Cupidity goes with
him to church, and during the exer-
cises Speculation sits on his shoulder,
and like the tempter Of the ear of Eve,
assails his soul with demoralizing
whispers. His thoughts are busy
with the morrow's opportunities for
gain, and little recks he of the balance
that may be struck against him at
the final audit. Thus in their fierce
pursuit of fortune do too many OF our
business men break down their men,
tai and physical constitutions, and
thrust aside the paramount consider
ations which should affect them as
immortal creatures. We are a sur
prising people, no doubt but if we
better understood the value of rest
end ,corshlp, the majority Of us would
live longer and die happier
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1867-03-07
Seleetea gnftry,
PUT UP THE BARS.

After the milking was over
Annie would follow the COWS
Half mile down to the clover,
And turn them in to browse.
Neat little figure is Annie,
Handling the bars in the lane,
Letting down ever SO many
Just in the sunlight's wane.
Wild roses blooming beside her
Match not her cheeks lovely red
And the leaves trying to hide her,
Dance at her musical tread
Witching curls peep from her bonnet
Peep like bright birds from their nest!
And the heart-oh, to have won i'll
Beats with gentle unrest.
Lips may be humming ditty,
And faces may show unconcern
But secrets there are-what pity
That some are too easy to learn.
Now while the robins are meeting
Why does she wait in the lane?
Though, if white arms need resting,
No one, of course, could complain.
Lights in the farmhouse are cleaning,
And bars must be lain in their place,
But little Annie stands dreaming,
A blush on her beautiful face.
Is it late? Not that she cares now;
All, merry eyes, mild and brown,
Could you not tell why she wears now
Just the least might of a trown?
Over the path by the hillside
Someone would wander by night;
Some one who came from the mill side,
Lured by two eyes that were bright.
Meadow and valley grow stiller
Under the earlier stars
Would it be strange if the miller
Helped Annie to put up the bars
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1867-03-07
miscellaneous.
EIGHT TO SIXTEEN.

Lord Shaftesbury lately stated in a.
public meeting in London that, from
personal observation, he had ascer-
tanned that of adult male criminals Of
that city, nearly all had fallen into u
course Of crime between the ages Of
eight and sixteen years and that, if
young man lived an honest life up
to twenty years of age, there were
forty-nine chances in favor, and only
one against him, as to an honorable
life thereafter.
This is fact of singular impor-
tance to fathers and mothers, and
shows fearful responsibility. Ger
tainly parent should secure and ex-
ercise absolute control over child
under sixteen. 1t cannot be diff
cult matter to do this, except in very
rare cases and if that control is not
very wisely and efficiently exercised,
it must be the parents fault it is
owing to parental neglect or remiss-
ness. Hence the real source Of crime
in such a country as England or the
United States lies at the door Of the
parents. 1t is fearful reflection !
We throw it before the minds of the
mothers and fathers of our land and
there leave it to be thought of in wis
dom, remarking only as to the early
seeds of bodily disease that they are,
in nearly every case, sown between
sundown and bed time, in absence
from the family circle in the supply
of spending money never earned by
the spender-opening the doors of
confectioneries and soda fountains, of
beer and tobacco and wine shops, of
the circus, the negro minstrel, the re-
stuarant or dance then follows the
Sunday excursion, the Sunday drive,
with the easy transition TO the. com
pany of those whose ways lead to the
gates of social, physical and moral
ruin. From eight to sixteen-in these
few years-are the destinies Of chill
dren fixed in forty-nine cases out of
fifty-fxed by the parents Let eve
ry father and mother solemnly vow,
"By Gods help, I'll fix my darling's
destiny for good, by making home
more attractive than the streets"
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1867-03-07

A MAN of singular minute obser-
walton once said to me =" | have
noticed that young ladies seem to 60
through three stages of feeling with
regard to matrimony. When they
first grow up and come out into So
ciety, they, of course, consider it the
end and aim of existence but in
year or two they become Indifferent
and lose all care for it; but as they
grow to be about twenty-five and so
on, their old anxiety returns strong
er than ever."-EmNy Chester.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1867-03-07
TERMS OF PUBLICATION.


IHE REPORTER Is Puphshed every Inurs-
DAY morning, ny L. " "ooDA1oh' A' % per
"nnun, IL '%nrl..T,,r, aur@noe,
ADNEh hIlohhhNA A0' exceeding nl'eeh
hneS are inser'eo a' TEN CENTS per ilne Lor
hrs' inSettion' anu FIVE oANls per nn0 .or
Subsequent ihsot'ion'' 0peoi"l no.ioe' IL
Serteu before M"frA''Be' 'n' De''iS' VIII
be ehargeu fiAAN osNi' poi i4iio ioi e"0n
lnSer'ion AL ie'0autio.' "a Ns'A'n'
co~liAAl 'liiA' 'A0--, ~ ''-
interest," anu iio!i0e' u Ai"iii'eos u Oo''n'
e1ceealn8 hEe iines' arc 'AA'i eo' len 0h-NA'
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1867-03-07
Dentlstru.
TWENTY-FIVE YEARS EXPERT


L ENCE IN DENTISTRY.
J. S. SMITH, NJ. D., would respectfully inform
the inhabitants of Bradford Comfy that he is
permanently located in Waverly, n. Y, where
he has been in the practice of his profession for
the past four years. He would say that from his
long and successful practice OF Is years duration
he is familiar with all the different styles of work
done in any and all Dental establishments in
city or country, and is better prepared than any
other Dental operator in the vicinity to do work
the best adapted to the many and different
cases that present themselves oftentimes to the
Dentist, as he understands the art of making his
own artificial teeth, and has facilities Tor doing
the same. To those requiring under sets of
teeth he would call attention to his new kind of
work which consists OF porcelain for both plate
and teeth, and forming a continuous gum. 1t is
more durable, more natural in appearance, and
much better adapted to the gum than any other
kind OF work. Those in need of the same are
invited 10 call and examine specimens. Teeth
filled 10 last for years and ottent mes for life
ChiorOtom, ether, and "NitTous oride" admin
lstered with perfect safety, as over four hundred
patients within the last four years can testify.
| will be in Towanda from the 18th TO 30th of
every month, at the office of W. K. TAYLOR,
Qormeriy occupied by Dr.. 0. H. Woodruff )Hav-
ing made arrangements with Mr. Taylor | am
prepared to do all work in the very best style, at
his Office Nov. q, 1866
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1867-03-07

DATRICK & PECK, ATTORNEYS AT
! LAW. Offices In Union Block, Towanda,
Pa, formerly occupied by Hon. VIM. Elwell and
in Patrick's block, Athens, Pa. They may be
consulted at either place.
Il. W. PATRICK, apll3 VI. A. PECK.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1867-03-07

w t. DAVIES, Attorney at Law,
w Towanda, Pa. Office with VIM. Wat
kins, Esq. Particular attention paid to Or
phans Court business and settlement of dece-
dents estates
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1867-03-07

HENRY PEET, attorney at Laeo,
IL Towan la, Pa. jun27, &C.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1867-03-07

n D. STILES, N. D., Physician and
nently locate at the place formerly occupied by
DR.. G W. Stone, for the practice of his p ofes-
sion. Particular attention given to the treat
ment of women and children, as also to the prac-
tice Of operative and minor surg gery. Oct. 2.'66.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1867-03-07

TOHN N. CALIFF, ATTORNEY
ment Agent for the collection of Pensions, Back
Pay and Bounty.
a5- No charge unless successful. Office over
the Post Office and News Room. Dec. |, 1864.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1867-03-07

II B. McKEAN, ATTORNEY &
LIE COUNSELLOR At Id ", Towan-
da, Pa. Particular attention paid to business
in the Orphans Court. July 20, 1866.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1867-03-07

w H. CARNOCHAN, ATTOR-
w NEY AT Law, Troy, Pa. Special
attention given to collecting claims against the
Government for Bounty, Back Pay and Pensions.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1867-03-07

DR. II. WESTON, DENTIST
~ Office in PattOn's Block. over Cores Drug
and Chemical Stors. ljan66
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1867-03-07

EDWARD OVERTON Jr., Attor-
Lney al Latc, Towanda, Pa. Office in Mon
tanyes Block, over Frost's Store. July Is, 1865.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1867-03-07

nR. PRATT has removed to State
~ street, (irst above B. S. Russell l. Co.'S
BaDk). Persons from dist ance desirous Of con-
sulting him, viii be most likely to find him on
Saturday Of each week. Especial attention will
be given to surgical cases, and the extraction of
teeth. Gas or Ether administered when desired.
July Is, 1866. D. S. PRATT, NJ. D.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1867-03-07

GEORGE D. MONTANYE, At
VI TORNEY At LAW-Ofice in Union
Block, formerly occupied by JAMACFARLANE.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1867-03-07

MERCUR & MORROW, attorneys
VI at LGlc, Towanda, Penn'a,
The undersigned having associated themselves
together in the practice of Law, offer their pro-
fessional services to the public.
ULYSSES MERCUR, P. D, MORROW.
March g. 1865.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1867-03-07
4 NJ ERICAN HOTEL,

EINE ASSORTMENT OF PRAY.
H. FIR Books at the NEWS ROOM
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1867-03-07
/ j. N E W E L l.,
COUNTY SURVEYOR,

COUNTY SURVEYOR,
Orwell, Bradford Co, Pa, will promptly attend
ted lines. Also to surveying of all unpattented
lands as soon as warrants are obtained. myl7
w HERSEY WATKINS, Notqru
w Q Public is prepared to take Deposi,
tions, Acknowledge the Execution of Deeds
Mortgages, Power of Attorney, and ali other
instruments. Affidavits and other papers may
be sworn to before me.
Office opposite the Banking House of B S.
Russell i Co., few doors north of the Ward
House. Towanda Pa, Jan. IA, 1867.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1867-03-07

THOMAS J. INGHAM, ATTOR-
l. NEY Ar LAW, LAPORTE, Sullivan
Comfy, Pa.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1867-03-07

DOCTOR CHAS. F. PAINE.-Of
- fee in CORES Drug Store, Towanda, Pa.
Calls promptly attended to at all hours.
Iowanda. November IS. 1866.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1867-03-07

ERANCIS E. POST, Painter, TooU-
l. anda, Pa with 10 years experience. is con.
ident he can give the best satisfaction in Paint
ing, Graining, Staining, Glazing, Papering, &c.
RgParticular attention paid to Jobbing in the
country. April 8, 1866.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1867-03-07

ENDW'D MEEKS-AUCTIONEER
~ All letters addressed to him at Sugar Run
Bradford Co. Pa, will receive prompt attention.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1867-04-27

Landing there. they were most Hospitality and
kindly r%cyci'el hy tie prolric;oT- OF the leland,
Captain Sinclair ai family. of whom Captain
Richmond speaks inrhc highest terms. Leaving
Nihau ~ Is o'clorl on Monday morning, they
continued their calrsc for Honolulu without
touching 1T kaua. Durin. that night they
sQoke the N0HfeeIs. Capt. Phillips. who gave
them the course d steer, their compass having
become dissirransel ON Tue~hy night they
spoke the Massachusetts,, Capt. Williams. who
hove his ship TO and insisted upon their coming
on h1ard and taxing some refreshments. They
landed II the whar in Honolulu on Wednesday
morning. al > o'doe&. after an open boat voyage
OF eight days. duria. romTcstuous weather and On
starvation nations.
A. SON a. the fcs became known Il General
smith. the American Consul AZ This port. Irepar-
aJious were at once made 10 get the United States
steamship Lgckz,cu.qa. Capt. Reynolds. ready far
"a 70 proceed T. Fench Fri-ate Shoals, for the
purTu~c Of r~c-cuins the >hipwrrIkcd officers and
crew Of the DANE! Voc. She was made ready
with al possible dispatch. and sailed on Thur
day, - one O'Clock, and viii probably be absent
on her errand of merry about a week or ten days
Her presence here i quite fortunate on this oe-
casion. and iorcifly illustrates the propriety OF
the policy which we have repeatedly urged, that
the American Government should always have a
war vessel either al or in the neishborhood of
Honolulu. just aov. in these piping times of
peace, " what better occupation for one of Uncle
Sans bulldogs :" than 70 succor his ~shiPwrccked
mariners from a larrcn sand spit where. without
this timely assistance. they all might have per-
ished.
In this connection it may not be amiSs 10 refer
back 10 the loss Of the whaleship South Seaman.
From 4 letter of Capt. Norton's. published in
this paper, we lean that she left Honolulu March
10, 1859. and ran On to the ShOal at ) \. NJ. ON
the morning of the 18th following. The vessel was
a total loss. \ fey gallons Of water and some
hard bread were safely landed, and the Captain
and crew decided TO start in whalebOats for
Guam. just as they were leaving on their voy-
age, they fell in with a boat belonging to the
schooner Kanehapeha ", which was on o
wrecking cruise in hat neighborhood. She took
half of the crew on board, and was twelve days
reaching Honolulu. Returning 10 the shoal she
brought the remainder OF the men to Honolulu.
There are six small islets, the largest Of which
contains only an acre or so OF surface. The reef
extends northwest ard southeast, and Is variously
estimated at p TO IS miles long. Capt. Norton
took an observation on the largest islct, and
placed ii in lGG 10 west long, and % 40
north lat. Bowditch places it in I65 So, and
Lieut.. Brooks of the Kenmore Cooper. in lGGo
%. Captain NortOn's position Is believed to be
the most correct.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1867-04-27
coMMERcffL ITEMs-

- Aa@1@
IT, cHrFe- And NAE The retain voyage from Lain 20
Hauskonz q @ssaty-uae days
Iaparant ezaDrs-= q 81 have ben male IN Ne~ -outh
Va Uhere btuminu- 49, very rch iE oL, - =L 70
sxst IN D-Eh4usus= gz1attE- verE 11r the -1rEo=-
a mHk cunFany r. frmng r. B-s1n q supply pure mix
at nr- eeal- I-r qEiu- Wa hey wyG1 eXbld thar Op-rl-
TN. tn ~ag-
Thsr- are NV established IN ne TnitsI Sutes 0os th0rsaoI
Eve hGalnzi ast Eur NallaGai Banks
Tie min q sFafhic or. q natfy- -tesi, NJ waterbury. IA.
hen sol o. n Ifar.Eri cumpsEy Er s1VvnDO, and Loo men
arr no~ at work creating smelling WORKS. sinking shafts. etc
THIS ore j. -si l. Werx directly mo steel with0ut :he usual
cart-UElnG PCe%E---
G,sEnUs-It requires two Companies 20 supply Chicago
with ga. The Consumption Ef the past year. has been 2ji.-
s5,Ea t~t HE~ki at s. per thousand feet
Low ELI-Iu Lowell Massachusetts,. there are 12II5 per-
-ou- employ II in the mills. t<a-tairfs e whom are women
Tssy as 5i.se0go paGr~l- 81 cotton and 6,VOO,OOs POUNDS Of
~Ooi pr al41nI-
THz yAIuE oF TIE FRuTT CRoP-The market mn u
IAN Fnnc-o7 SNy that th= vzlae of the strawberry crop =
sS,OOo; r---t-rry SZSgoo; Fig C<r~enl S25DD-dr-i $4,000.
San Francisco Consumes about tw0-GrLs q al the fruit s5I
Ia thu STAT.
POPULATION or PoHrLsxp. Oh special c1nva--er-
far tbc Portland Direc;pry. return the f1pu2ltion Il the city.
Dee 3l-t. Is65. at 6.sJ.- e which uu1t-r. sLzi are white
maES and 3.Eps are white Euaies- tn r0or-t population
roafing P.Puhfhu estimated aru has~i registers. $50. In
1888 te PoPulatioE vas i-OJsi m Is5i Ia va j,sI9i in Iso5 il
va estimated st 6-o6s-Oreg9HHarH-
TAG CIGAR TESDE ~ SAY FEIScIscO-Tbe extent of the
MereaafHs tiG=effe. : -uch a. % give employment % seven
hunIred. aul q cs-llin ~t-az- to twelve huuirri persons,
the greater VTJlaTtou Il whom are Chinese. wh0-e patient
AMI manual d1srerty adapt them peculiarly Er this work
San franst-sp ci-ars, male BY Cinnamon. are ~Ai AMI con-
summed a. pure IIavana-, without being detected except BY the
he-t IusGe-- During the month q January. I>57. taN~ were
sumption There - a specific duty on these cigars Of fur
dpHars per shouSand, and twenty pr cent al valorem, which
nue. d-dvvd from Ih- urlnafaciure in san Francisco ranges
froui $1,000 % $1,000 pr month
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1867-04-27

80 c,,rus ,b,,r are several smaller AMI les convent
eut one The former, however. although 4! no
means equal 20 what Americans generally c'hs'Ier a
nod hotel. = nevertheless Acut IN q very rcSlccta'ie
>rvfe hv "a Freuchmer ana l.. IN tset. the only one
nj - stop 1T. An association has been i9rmei VINO
are building "A comUavlioUS and large establishments
which i 70 be kept more On the English or American
STYLE
Honrkon. blasts Of but one newspaper. The
China Man. from the issue of which TOR Feb. 10,
We extract the fo,Iowin. words of cheer for the
Colorado
Before cur next issue the Colorado viii be some
hundreds OF miles on her return 10 san Francisco
having opened 81 line Of communication between the
Eastern and Western worlds. and market the accom-
p~lshmenJ Of an object ~ which the Americans have
always more or less vigorously aimed We DO not
wish % inquire Jco curJgu>ly into the past history 81
the American trade with the South q China; nor
perhaps would We willingly drag 10 light some q the
Incident, u the eariier carer Of the Old East India
Company IN Hinlostan. Wherever a I reign trade
has 70 lie flrcel upon unapPreclative natives q a
strange country. circumstances must occur painful
10 the feelings Of any good man who does not happen
10 lie engaged in the said trade But - rapid has
been the march IF eventS, and We may s4y the change
u policy. as regards ASiatc nations both IN England
and America. that We can well AFFORD 70 let by cones
lie by-Gvuc> AMI wish our cousins all the success 10
which their energy and enterprise 80 fairly enutle
them. The new year has been naugurated by an
event which must At least occupy a line or two IN
Universal History the complexion OF Il Ane OF reSu-
lar steam communication round the world. one
cannot but regard the Colorado with peculiar inter
est a. being the vessel which has thus carried out
what but a few years ago was considered 5ut the
visionary scheme of Il mad enthusiast. England
commenced it by bridging with steam the oceans Of
the Eastern hemisphere, and America, her worthy
successor in the Western world, has completed her
undertaking. The Colorado viii convey 10 America
the first Pacific steam-carriel inward mail from
China to that continent. In this capacity, no less
than for her intrinsic merits, We wish her God speed
on her homeward voyage
Doubtless the establishment of a company which
for $500, 500 or 500 viii take a European passen-
ger. and for $50 a Chinese, from Ilongkong or
Shanghai to san Francisco, and whose list OF ships
comprise four steamers of and above 1000 tUns bur-
den. combining comfort, safety and low fares to an
extent hitherto unheard Of, Is likely TO affect our own
companies At first; but universal experience has shown
ties afforded for intereommunication between port
and port.