The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1867-05-08
Mrs, Nuggins' Tim in Love.

/ Mrs. Nuggins' Tim in Love.
i dunno what's the matter with that boy
! Timothy. | can't tell for the life of me
He's loosen his appetite and getting as
poor as snake. lie nsed to always drink
five cups of coffee at meal, when now
poor fellow, he can't drink but four and q
half!
He's got to readin' poetry, which is a
sure sign that he's goin' to die soon; and
he combs his hair behind his ears, and is
trying to raise u mustache.. But worse
than all, he sits out on the fence hours and
hours and looks at the moon Just like that
old hound dog Uncle Samuel used to have;
only he, the dog, would bark at the moon
all night suppose Timothy would bark
at it if he knoWed how but as he can't
bark, he makes it up drawn long breaths,
what he calls sighin' -sighin' indeed
What is the matter with you, limo
thy?' said to him the other day, when
he couldn't eat but half pie for his noon
piece.
| was little Rurried with my washin'
that day, so | was little behindhand with
the dinner.
Now, just tell me, my nephew, what is
| the matter 2"
Auntie," said he, +" it is an imsposbili-
ty for you to understand the sublimity of
my feelings! You have never scared above
the level Of"
"Lud almighty /" said I. "Tve been
sore many time! You know, Tim,
when / had that last attack of rumatiz."
Confound your rumatiz |" he exclaimed,
jumping up and leaving the room.
! know he's goin' crazy. If he isn't
goin' cracy, he's comm very near it! And
if there isn't something done for him, I'll
have the boy to bury, which would be an
awful expense jist at this time, and butter
only quarter pound but l think it
would be better for me if the poor fellow
was buried, for he has such an awful appe-
tite, and wants money SO often, l think he'd
be better off if he was buried, and I'm sure
I'd be better off if he'd die tomorrow.
And there's that splint new imbriller of
mine, which I've only had for twelve years,
which Uncle Samuel give me for a birthday
present, that Timothy carried out the 9TH
@ day when 1t come on to rain, and he got
it soakin' wet-an umberril ! wouldn't
had expo Sc to the ram for anything!
10 xronto 1,sc eh.,tr ,ko..lnl LIT -.
poker, and he's ell the time talkin' to his
SELF
I've been certain sure there was some
thing dreadful the matter with him, and the
day before yesterday found out that my
predictions were true.
He was eatin' his breakfast-'IYm was,
and he couldn't worry down more an yard
of sassage and four cups of coffee and he
looked dreadful bad, and pale, and shaky
lookin'.
"Now,'' says to him, says I, swhat is
the matter with you? Have you any pain
in your stomach"
mo" says he, darn the pain p and he
took piece of bread.
sis there anything the matter with your
head, them" says l.
NO." says he, my heads plaribus p
"1s it in your legs, then, where you feel
bad 2" says [. "Ishouldn't think there was
though, the way you walk across that
pasture-field morn two nights of week p
"My legs are oil right, " says he, "the pas
ture-feld, too"
ut must be in your arms, then ?" says T.
81 saw you with 'em round the pumpstalk
a huggin' of itr'
mo, n,arm," say he, "my arms are all
right, You may bet!"
"Where does the CONNECTION lay, then ?"
says I, lookin' at him.
"Here?' says he, in q yellin', mellonkoly
voice, placin' his right hand on his left vest
front. "Aunt, I'm in love!'
| was dumfounded! | was taken all
aback. Then | studied and said
"You must be attended to Immediately
You must take a dose of oil, and some suit
tea, and some salts, and few drops of
laudanum, and have your breast rubbed
with goose-grease, and soak your feet with
hot water, and have pitch plaster on your
back, and mustard one on your stomach,
and 60 to bed, and have hot bricks to your
feet and take dose Of"
"The devil" said he ]; and he jumped up.
put his hands to his stomach, and left the
house.
Oh! know he's goin' crazy, my poor
Timothy!
SHERIDAN AND HIS DoiSGs--My. worst
fears of Sheridan have been realized. He
has thrown himself completely into the
arms Of the very worst class of the inendi-
cant Radical demagogues, who are seeking
to monopolize the Offices and government
of the State. In his selections Of Registers
of Electors, he has picked out some of the
most contemplate creatures in this commu-
nifty, persons OF no character or RESPONSE
bility, and several of them entire strangers
to our people. The only two who are
known are an old reprobate who has d he
gro family, and is a practical migcegnation-
list. who lives in the suburbs of the city,
and quack doctor who, under fictitious
name, advertises to cure secret diseases
without asking any uestions. The Others
are hangers-on of the Federal army. And
these are the men who are to sit in judg-
ment on the rights Of tw MY thousand vo-
tiers, and who are, in the very order Great
ing them, directed to exclude from the reg
istry all voters IN regard to whom there is
the slightest doubt of their qualifications.
Sheridan has not disappointed me, il he has
others. His free and easy mode of life, led
the fast men of the city to imagine that he
was jolly good fellow, and would act on
the square with the people. | never
thought so. and now my Judgment is sus-
tanned by the sad reality of his thorough
and entire surrender to the very worst class
of Radicals, who have him now, body, soul
and boots New Orleans Cor. Cincinnati
ii Enquirer.
A RARE WRE.-The following Incident
is related in the black county" in con-
nection with the recent snow storm. At
Mount Pleasant, a little village between
Shifnaii and Wellington, there lived an
aged couple, named Shepherd, the husband
being Il years Of age, and the wife one
wear younger. Shepherd is engaged as o