Delaware State journal and statesman., 1867-03-08
Wit AND HuMOR.

We know q blunt old fellow who sometimes
hits the nail on the head more aptly than phi
losophers He once heard man much praised !
for l,eood feelings" Everybody Joined and said .
the man was possessed Of excellent feelings |
.What has be done ?" asked the old genius. He !
Is possessed Of the most benevolent feelings,
was the reply what has he done ? cried the
old fellow again. By this time the company
thought II necessary to show some Of his iavoTite
dOings. They began to cast about in their
minds; but the old man stil shouted, What has
he done 2 They owned they could not name
anything in particular. 'Yes, answered the
oynic you say he is a man that has good feel
iugs. Now, gentleman let me tell you that there
are people In this world who get good name
simply on account Of their feelings You can't
tell one generous action they ever performed in
their lives, but they can look and talk most
beuevolenty know man 10 this town that
you all would call surly, rough, and unamiable
man, and yet he has done more acts OF Kindness
in this county, than all Of you put together.
You may Judge peoples actions by their feelings,
but Judge peoples feelings by their actions
The colored keeper Of liquor saloon in Ports
mouth, Va, turned the tables nicely upon an
officer who arrested him. The knight Of the
star had been looking through a crack aud saw
two or three parties drinking at the bar, but
was unable to say whether the drinks were paid
for or not. The keeper Of the place told the
} Mayor that he had called the men in to treat
. than. DO you often treat people p inquired
his honor. 'oh, yes, sir the officer there knows
that, for I've treated him very often and beside
; he has several times been in my house aud So
! down by the stove for half Gu hour when oil
= duty.i ia that the ease, officer r Yes, sir
i. pys been treated several times there well
4 tbeu.' said The Mayor With frown at the ofdcia
\ delinquent, 'if he treated you I've no dosbt hi
was treating these men, too; and dismiss til
case II was rather hard on the informer.
# A Pit,sburg paper sayt-ParIiss Engaged i
= shoyeliug snow at Piitsfeld, discovered in
y huge drift, bag Of netting which contained
D. large amount Of dried mois, grass and curle
Of hair. The bundle has been Identified aud prove
y to be a lndy's waterfall. How it became d.
10 tached from the Wearer Is unknown but III
10 conjecture is, that the owner was caught In I'll
4. s,orm. and was obliged to throw overheard h'
X ballast, in order to make headwuy.
- A benevolent gentleman, passing farm hOus
up saw a baby brandishlng two-inch ohlsel' to !
he Imminent danger. Taking away the shar
u, edged tool, he sought the mother thought
al NV du,y,' he said, ito tell you that your chi
Ak has 20, the ohisel' ooh, sir, she said. I'm ev
he 40 much obliged TO you. knew something "
ny the matter with the child, and didn't know VIII
ne il was. They've got 1t awful down in BENIN
ks ton
f. 10 the time Of Louis the XIV, it was fashO
", able for ladies' to take snuff, and Balzac mot I
W. uoveliut) requesting pinch from lady sol
he MADAME, permit my digital extremities to
ed siuuale themselves into your tObacehc concaVi
i. to obtain from 1t the subtle power, which dis
Mates and oonfound the aquatic humOurs of !
- inundated and swampy BRAIN
,oss person who was recently called into CO.
a., for the purpose Of proving the correctness o.
a.a DOCTORS bill, was asked by the lawyer whet
80 THE doctor did not make several visits after
4. patient was out Of danger?' No. replied
ri,s witness, Il considered ihs patient in danger
na ltng as the doctor continued hia visits
49, "A fellow went on board Mississippi steam
w y recently, with his baggage aud mOvOablss.
tive assured the captain that he had got eVerylh
on the boat uhen his wife AMI children IN
iLeir appearance. Then he broke out
rich, We'll, thought Id forgot something.