Litchfield enquirer., 1867-01-31
HOW HOST MY WHISPERS.
BY THE MAN WHO LOST THEM.


 BY THE MAKswHo LOST TERM. i aas a sas---s.
 ssDo you object to smoking, sir?"
 This I asked in my blandest manner O an old gentleman who sat, with his face hidden by newspaper, opposite to me il 8 railway carriage.
 All the seats in the carriage were filled I and four others were on our way iron Cambridge to enjoy the Christmas vacation Our spirits were high, for there Is de light in banishing for time all thought. of comic sections Newton's ''Principia' and the little-go, and entertaining, in ex change, visions of "hops," skating partie: and all the orgies which every right-min ded family hold at this season in honor o! King Christmas.
 But must Introduce you to my chums, for chums we were, although our tastes did not all lie in the same direction. Jack Stirrup IS tor rather was at that periodD 6 riding and hunting man, and was not un. frequently seen at Newmarket: Stretcher , on the other hand, loved boating and pre. ferred the sight of 8 we'll developed biceps to that of the best bred hunter. and would often remark to Jack, ''How on earth can you say that you would rather see the es'Two Thousand" than the ''Time-race" in the "Colquhoun Sculls," I cannot for the life of me make out" Edwards was 8 poor and reading man, but whose wit and tal- Tents rendered him a universal favorite, whilst Davies was rich open handed, good-hearted fellow as ever lived For my own part, do not think had any well-de- fined pecuGarity. but. did a little of every thing. I read a Hstlsy rowed little, hunt ed a little, had fairsncome-in short if I had any characteristics at all, it was love of laziness and practical jokes.
 We congratulated ourselves with the ex- ception of the old gentleman have named) for we intended to keep out of the cold, and beguile our journey with sundry pipes and cigars. We had our cases out, and were preparing to light up. as matter of course, when we were astonished by my ris-o-vis flashing away the newspaper which had hidden his face.
 Do I object to smoking? Yes, sir, I do object! I object very strongly, sir! and beg that you will instantly replace your cigars in your pockets. I insist on having no smoking in this carriage!'
 We looked aghast at this sudden burst of -gentlemanly wrath.
 "MightI ask if you intend travelling far on this line, sir?" inquired Edwards, in his comlcally-polite tone.
 "What is that to you sir? What busi- ness is it of yours where am going to?''
 T merely wished to suggest, in case of your travelling far, that, pleasing and de- hghtful as it would be for us to enjoy your agreeable society, yet. nevertheless, we would try to bear the loss, should you pre- fer to change carriages at the next sta tion. "ss ( S
 .'sNo doubt you would wish to get rid of me; but no, sir! do not move my seat, and the first one that smokes report to the guard"
 s'In that case, I fear we shall be obliged painful though it be, to tear ourselves away" I said, as we drew up at small sta tion.
 Fortunately we found the next compart- ment empty, and as we started again we pulled out our cigar cases, this time to light their contents.
 'sThe old boy has certainly got out of bed the wrong side this morning." said I, pufing away,
 s'Or has made mistake in his betting book, y remarked my sporting friend. We'll give him benefit now, at any rate; I vote we take it in turns to puff smoke through the lamp hole. Let's look at him; ha! cooled down little, is about to compose himself to sleep I'll trouble you for his nightcap; come and look at it, Fred,"
 did so, and roared on seeing red wo- ven cap of conical shape, which added very considerably to the irascity of the wearer's features.
 With perseverance which deserved bet ter cause, we each made tube of paper, and putting the end through the lamp-hole f,,r1 o% blush as I now think how heartily we en- joyed the enraged state in which he paced up and down the empty carriage, like 8 cag ed tiger.
 The next time we stopped, however, the guard put his head into our carriage win dow and said with wink
 "Gentlm in next compartment con- plains of your smoking, sir.'
 ''Smoking!' we exclaimed, with mock in- dignation, 'tDo we look as though we'd been smoking2 What nonsense! and add ing in mysterious manner, "You see there's one vacant seat; of course we're not going to tell tales of the man who occupied that' T'All rightr' said the guard, laughing, ''I wasn't born yesterday" And after @ slightly confidential transaction of a pecu- niary nature, left us in peace.
 The snow, which had bee falling heavily all day, now Lay thick all around. Our eyes ached again, as we looked out of the win dow (which was itself all frosted over) on to the dazzling snow which covered all the landscape; and as we stamped our feet on the floor of the carriage, we began heartily to wish ourselves at our journeys end, and by the freside.
 
 s'Halloo! what are we stopping for now? I wonder whether we're going to do an up- set, or anything exciting of that kind" :" said Davies, looking out of the window. II don't see train anywhere that we can have a friendly collision with"
 ssGet out here, gentleman said the guard, passing the window; s'the line is showed up, and we shall have to wait till it is clear" z.,.....o
 The grumbling which this pleasant an- nouncement caused was immediately stop ped by our hearing the voice of our disa- greeable companion in the next compart- ment
 sIine showed up, is it?' said that gen. tleman, trying to appear calm in his fury, s'and we get out here? Oh! and do you sup pose I am quietly going to submit to this? The line ought to have been cleared ready for uss I shall bring an action"
 -'sBut sir!v' I said, ''howon earth could
 s'Might request to know who spoke to