North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1867-02-27
OPERA HOUSE DUTCHMAN AND HIS
TICKET.

In Chicago dwells teutonic vcnder Of
lager beer and bre,zels, Brockmeyer BY
name, genial in disposition, immense of
stomach, careful of money by nature, un-
suspec,ing at hcait, but yet liable to severe
excitement at times. When the Opera
.ouse drawing came off he remained firm
at his post OF dagger and gracefully hand
ed out glasses Of his amber colored bever-
age, two glasses for ten cGnts Persons
came and went. PaSsers by troubled with
thirst Jaw in his beer much to admire and
rushed in where angels feared to tread,
drew their wallets, left their stamps, elaked
their thirst and hurried on. while Brock
meyers till grew rich in postal.
A man passe' that way who was poor
He was a newspaper man. we reckon. He
was dry, but had not the keynote to lager
in his pocket H.. thrsted for beverage
he rushed in like one from Bull Run battle
fields and gasped-
"Y ou drew it you drew it the Opera
House is yours You are the lucky Dutch.
man. The crowd at the Opera House is
cheering for you ~
"Mein gott in Himmel das is so take
some lager peer and the excited teuton
drew pitcher fu |, showed it TO the face of
the LovelSt, shouted "Mein Gott; mcin
Gott I've drawed der Opera Ouse drinks
all ter lager peer in dis bIace for | moves
der right away y jumped over chair,
kno ked a coal stove endwise and minus
hat or coat rushed t. the Opera House.
The man quenched his thirst from the
pitcher the crowd outside Seeing The teu-
ton running like mad. thought murder most
foul had been committed ; rushed n,learn-
ed the news, shouted to others, the seller
of Dutchman stood behind the bar and ~ith
liberal hand dispensed beer, bretzels, bolo-
gnas, cigars, etc, and dispensed with the
stamps therefore, till the crowd became so
large he was tired ont, when be left, and
Others helped the new corners at the cx-
pense of the man who had drawn the Opera
House.
But soon Linden saw another sight-his
lager r"ling rapidly With howl, a yell,
bound aud a club there burst iL upon the
crowd, poor Brockmryer. And this was
his cause of complaint
"Mrin Gott Gott tam Clear out you
umbugs Out. Nixcum arouse out OF
lat / prcak NINE head over de stick OF
dat tam Yankee vot makes me dat he und
loose my lager peer Rouse NIT i'm no
draw Opera Ouse. | no draw notink. Oh
YOU tam rascal who preaks miue head NIT
his stick--who make told me dat tam um-
pug--rouse nit all of you | no draw OPP
era Ouse--I no draw nntink--1 NO have
lucky ticket--by tam have no ticket for
notink, und py tam prrak my head mil
dc sto-mack of dat Yankee umbng vot dells
me das tam lie ! Rouse mt you -
And with his clab he soon cleared the
premises, tn fud nary cigar, nor ~ bolog-
ma, nor a bretzel, nor a drop of lager beer,
nor lucky ticket. Then he Locked the
doors, aud went talking to himself, fixing
up things, shaking up empt, kegs and bot
ties, looking into drawers and boxes TO find
but vanity ard emptiness! Those who
saw him say that he looked sick. disconso-
late. as he had occasion to damn those who
had been there since he had been gone
Late in the day he was sitting outside his
saloon, the door locked, looking for the
man who made dot umbug, and telling those
! who stopped to condole with hlm-"fcs
by tam, dis Cheargo is ter tyfl. Dey draw
me no Opera Ouse, but dey draw my lager
peer as cost me more ~ two hundred tol-
lars Dey eats up nine cigars. dey schmok
mine pretsils, ,und dat tam rascal vot makes
me dat story gnomes dis way, thinks ] bt
so Kick NIT mad do notink, by tam p
] La Crosse Democrat.