Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1867-05-30
NEW SERIES--V0L. 7, NO. Al.
a'7it and sgamur.
"A little nonsense now and thon,
Is relishcd by the best OF men,"

The pawnbroker's favorite time O
year-the season Of Lent.
Wanted-Some Of the beer produc
ed when "mischief is brewing
"Here's to internal improvements D
as Dobbs said when he swallowed q
dose of salts.
Why does arailway clerk cut hole
in your ticket? TO let you pass
through.
The last case of jealousy is that Of
a lady who discarded her lover, sea
captain, because he hugged the shore.
A Russian miser is noticed to have
learned to bark, in order to save the
expense Of keeping watch dog.
1t is stated that the French troops
in Mexico will be so delighted when
their ships arrive to take them home,
that they will unanimously 60 into
transports.
Smith asked Jones what the high
price Of butter was owing to. "a
considerable part of it is owing to my
grocer" said Jones, "for it is the two
last months since paid him"
A lady leaving home, was thas ad-
dressed by her little boy: "Mamma
will you remember and buy me PEN
ny whistle, and let it be a religious
one, so that / can use il on Sunday"
"My DEAR" said husband affection
ately to bis better-half after squab-
bic, you'll certainly never be permit
to go TO Heaven !! "Why not Z" "Be-
cause you'll be wanted as tormentor
below"
A lady about to marry was warned
that her intended, although a good
man, was very eccentric. "Well, she
said, "if he is very unlike other men,
he is more likely TO make a good hus-
band"
A cake was given TO a Baptist fes-
tiyal in Burlington, Vt, to be given
by vote at ten cents each to the
handsomest lady in the room. A
"colorcd" lady got it. Vermont
taste.
An excited gentleman alta fire head.
ed line Of fire buckets, and as fast
as they were passed to him, he threw
buckets and all into the fire, crying
out all the while-"Pass on more OF
them buckets %
The wife Of President Juarez was
present at reception given by Secre-
tary Seward to the diplomatic corps,
on Saturday evening. She is said TO
have attracted as much attention as
the japanese Embasadors.
"My dear young lady" exclaimed
gentleman, al am astOnished at your
sentiments. You actually make me
start-on my word you do" "Well,
sir" replied the damsel, 'I'vo been
wanting you tostart for the last hour"
Sheridan's father conversing with
him on the former glories of the fam
lily, remarke that they were once cal
led 0'Sheridan.
al do not think" returned the son.
that we ever had better right to be
called o,oe Sheridan than at present"
Seventy thousand Germans, il is
said have engaged passage by steam
to the United States. The new
Prussian conseIiption laws are driv-
ing many to our country. They are
evidently unaware of the tax con
scription going on in this country.
A teacher in Springfield, Massachu-
setts, while conducting an examina-
tion, asked among other questions the
following: "Why is the pronoun SHE |
applied to a ship 2" To which one of
the boys rendered the following an
swer: because therigging costs more
than the hull"
A member of a fashionable church |
N New York, electrified a music-s sell |
or some time since by inquiring for
'Solomon's Sorg," saying his minis
Ler had spoken Of it as a production
)f great genius, and that he wanted |
his daughter to sing it, Brother
sure.
A young man out West was entrust-
ID with the money to bring his father
nome good family sewing machine.
He carried off a neighbor's daughter
10 Chicago, married her and brought
ier home, declaring that she was the
best family sewing machine he could
procure.
Coon Toast FOR THE TIMEs.-The /
toast was given at a late
public meeting: "The Times-they /
require more sowing-more hoeing-l
more mowing-less importing-more |
sxporting-less consumption-more |
redemption, and less suspension of
specie paying"
Mr.. Jones met Mr.. Smith, as he was
going on board a steamer on the Mis-
iissippi, and asked (which way, up
Dr. down, Smith y "That depends on |
circumstances" "if l get a berth over
The boiler, l shall probably go up--if
IN the cabin, down" We have not
heard from him since.
Wiggins was one day with a friend !
when he observed a poor dog that
mad been killed, lying in the gutter
Virgins paused, gazed at the dead an
mal, and at last said "llere is an
other shipwreck." "Shipwreck
Where p Why here's bark that's
lost forever His companion growl-