The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1867-03-22
THE CAUDLE CURTAIN LECTUREs
Mrs. CsudIs has been to see her dear
MOther---CaudIe, en- the Joyful Oe.
casIon.s has given a Rnrfr

Mrs. CaudIe has been 10 see her dear
MOther---CaudIe, en- the Joyful Oe.
casiOn,'' has Given q Party.
at is hard, 1 think, Mr.. Caudle, that
can't leave home for day or two, but
the house must be turned into a tavern;
tavern2-a pothousei Yes. 1 Thought
you was very anxious that should go;
thought you wanted 10 get rid of me
for something, or you would not have
insisted on my staying at dear mothers
all night. You were afraid should get
cold coming home, were you? oh, yes,
you can De very tender, you can, Mr..
Cauaie. Wnen II suits your own pur-
pose. Yes! and the werld thinks what
. good husband you are! 1 only wish
the world knew you as we'll as do.
tEat's all; but it shall some day, Tm
determined.
I'm sure the house will not be sweet
tor month. All the curtains are moi
soned with smoke; and. Whatrs more
with the titthiest smoke l ever knew,
TAKE 'eHi dotGH, tkeIiS Yes, it's all yery
well for you to say take 'em down; but
they were only cleaned and put up a
month ago; but q careful wife's lost
upon you, Mr. Caudle. You ought TO
nave married somebody who have let
your mouse go to wreck and ruin, as L
Will for the future. People who don't
care for their families are better Thought
OF than those who do; I've long found
out that.
And what a condition the carpets
in! They've taken five pounds out of
1t, II farthing, with their filthy boots.
and don't know what besides, And
then the smoke in the hearth-rug, and
a large cinder-hole burnt in it! / never
saw such house in my life! If Won
wanted to have a few friends, why
couldn't you invite 'em when your
"lte' s at home, like any other man? not
nave ,em sneaking in, like a set of
nouSeoreakers, directly a woman turns
her back. hey must be pretty rentIe-
men, they must; mean fellows, that are
afraid 10 face woman! Ha! and Won
cail yourselves the lords of the creation!
should only like to see what would
become OF the creation, If you were left
would be in very soon!
ou must all have been in a nice
condition! What do YOU saw? You
took HothingS Took nothing, didn't
you? I'm sure there's such a regiment
or empty bottles, 1 haven't had the
you must have punchl There's a hum
dred half-lemons in the kitchen, if.
there's one; for Susan, like u good girl.
Kept EN- To show 'em 10 me. No. sir:
Susan Shdnt LeGue the house! What do
you say? She has no TigEf TO tell tales,
ana you WILL be master Of your otcn
AouSes Will you? If you dOn't alter.
Mr.. Caudle, you'll soon have no house
TO be master of. a whole loaf of sugar
did leave in the cupboard, and now
Lhere isn't as much as would I'LL a tea
cup. DO you suppose I'm to find sugar
for punch for nifty men? What do You
say There ieGsHt JJty5 That's no
I'm sure they drank enough for fifty.
DO you suppose out of my housekeep-
ing money I'm to find sugar for punch
for all the world? You don't dsE ,ns ;
Don't you ask me? You do; YOU know
you doi for if only want a shiIlingex-
IRA, the house IS in blaze. And yet
WhoIe lQat of sugar can YOU throw
away upon No, lron't be sim; and
l won't let you go to sleep. II you'd
got 10 bed at proper hour last night
you wouldn't have been so sleepy now.
You can sit up half the night with a
pack OF reuple who don't care for you,
ana your poor wife can't get in a word i
And there's that China image that
had when 1 was married-I wouldn't
nave taken any sum of money for it.
and you know it-and how do find
II? With its precious head knocked
on And what was more mean. more
contem ptible than all besides IL was
put on again, as if nothing had hap
Pened; You kHeaC nothing about itF
Now how can You lie there, in your
Christian bed, Caudle, and saw that9
You know that that fellow, Prettyman.
Knocked off the head with the boxer
You know that he did. And you hadn't
Inc teeling-yes, I will say it-you 1
hadn't the feeling to protect what YOU 1
knew was precious 10 me. Oh. moi If
me truth was known, you were glad to 1
see II broken for that very reason,
Every way, I've been insulted. I !
snouIq IKE 10 know who it was who {
corked whiskers on my poor aupt's
picture? Ohi you're laughing, are
me that. 1 should like to know what
shakes the bed, then, If you're not
aughing7 Yes, corked whiskers on
her dear tace-and she was a good soul
TO you. Caudle, and you ought TO be
ashamed of yourself to see her iII-used.
On, you may laugh! IT'S very easy to
laugh! only wish you'd little feel
ng. like other people, that's ali,
Then there's my China mug-the
mug had before was marriedSwhen
l Was happy creature. 1 should like
% kno - who knocked the spout OF that
mug Don't tell me it was crack ed be-
IoreIlt no such thing, Caudle; there
lave cried when I saw il. Don't tell
ne 1t wasn't worth twopence. How do
you know? You never buy mugs
But that's like men; they think noth-
ng in house costs anything.
There's four glasses broke, and nine
At least, that's all I've found
1ut at present; but dare say l shall
discover dozen tomorrow.
And L should like to know where
he cotton umbrellas gone to-and 1
'houid like to know who broke the bell
2ull-and perhaps you don't know
here's leg of chair-and perhaps',-I
II was resolved" says Caudle, ITO
know nothing, and SO went TO sleep in
ny ignorance"