The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1867-05-29

signing they have "No one to Love none
to Caress," or in despair wishing they
could land on 1.-The other side of Jordan"
We pity their sad condition, and would
console them, hence another dish Of
spice; twill do for both sexes. Laugh
and grow fat, and "don't be foolish Joe >
the same advice will do for "Gentle
Annie," Rosa Lee" or the "Wido4
Nc Cree"
BLACK EYES.
Oh, give me the dark black eye,
The eye that sparkles and flashes
For thousand witcheries that lie
In the shade Of its raven lashes.
The languishing eye of blue
Is ali too slow in its wooing,
For an angel it may do,
But not for mans undOing.
The glance of a dark, black eye,
Like sunbeam, warm aud glowing
From your head to your heart will fly,
And you're gone ere you think you arc
going.
linen, nuTTdn LOT the DIuCh eye.
That carries the heart by storming,
The blue one may waken q sigh,
But the heart gets tired while it's warming.
The poet here only saw through eyes
darkly, and is not so much to blame. He
was a "goner" carly in the fight, and
fell a victim to love at first sight, poor
fellow. 10 this local there's witchcry
Il CT, ell, no matter the colcr. black,
blue, grey or hazell, all are equal to a
mans undoing.
Since butter has become so very dear,
a receipt has been prepared for an ad-
mirable substitute: Marry nice, good
girl, and when she prcSidcs at table you
vii! not require any BUT HER.
A young lady recently married was
taken home by her lord to nurse bis sick
mother. Mother died and the dutifuh
sympathizing daughter thus expressed
her grief, at small tea party, a few
evenings after
''Oh dear! !" said she, chow much | miss
my poor, dear mother! Why it seems to
me can see her now, just as she used to
sit at the breakfast table, reaching out
her fork for the best potato !"
"Why don't you get married 2" said a
young lady the other day to bachelor
friend. 81 have been trying for the last
ten years to find some one who would be
silly enough to have me, was the reply.
81 guess you haven't been up our way"
she smiingly said.
Just so, we stick to it that the girls
are all right on the gander question.
The Evansville Journal says that a
man came very near being killed in that
city, recently, by breaking the button of
! his shirt collar. He crossed the street
near By to ask woman for a pin TO
fastcn the collar, and she, thinking he
meant to insult her, alarmed her husband,
who rushed out with load pistol, hot
for vengeance.
Save rs from buttonless shirts. Make
a note Of it ladies, and by all means keep
your husbands well buttoned
\ traveller, we won't say who, stopped
at country hotel, we won't say where,
and passed a night, leaving an under
garment behind him. Writing to the
landlady to return him the missing gar
mcnt, he received the following reply:
"My gentle sir, pray don't feel hurt;
III frankly tell you all about it,
I've made a shift of your old shirt,
And you must make shift without it.
"If you ever marry" said Roman
Consul to his son, "let it be one who has
sense enough to superintend the setting
of a meal of victuals, taste enough to
dress herself pride enough 20 wash
before breakfast, and sense to old her
tongue when she has nothing to ss7.
An old curmudgeon.
The Count of Flanders gave his wife
$500, GOO worth Of diamonds as a mar
riage present.
He is what the ladies call 'brilliant''
man. \ gem of the first water.
Thirteen old maids recently assembled
at tea.party whose combined ages were
nearly thousand years.
Bachelors should be taxed for this and
either driven to matrimonY or suicide.
The last case ofjcalousy is that of a
lady who discarded her lover, sea
captain, because he hugged the shore.
Ifit was Jane Shore he hugged we
think her perfectly right.
The following is the pay for local re-
porting on some Of the New York papers
The Tribune employs fifteen reporters
at an average salary of $23 per week ;
the Herald twenty-three at an average Of
SIT; the Times Ia bitter opponent Of the
interests of working-men,) ten reporters
at S25 per week average the Sun "a
rampant advocate Of the labor moVement)
five men at an average of twelve dollars
the Post four. at S23 average the World
eight at an average Of SIS; and the
EXPRESS six, at an average ofnine dollars.