The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1867-03-19
nRs. CArDLE.s LEcrUnEs.
sr. Candle Has Been at Tavern
with a Friend, and ..Is Enough to
Poison a woman win Tobaeeo-
SYuoka


'tI'm sure don't know who'd be 8
poor womanl L don't know who'd tie
themselves up 10 a man if they knew
only half they'd have 10 bear. "A wife
must stay at home, and be a drudge
whist a man can go anywhere. It's
I enough for wife to sit like Cinderella
by the ashes, whilst her husband can &c
Letisr Sistgg HoN do know. you never
sing? us very well tor yon 10 say SO
but If could hear you, dare say
] you're amongst the worst OF 'em.
And now, l suppose, it will be the
tavern every night? If you think Fun
going 10 sit up for You, Mr.. CaudIe,
you're very much mistaken. No: and
m not going TO get out of my warm
bed to let you in, either, No: nor Su-
san sha II sit up Tor you. No: nor
you sha'n'L have "A latch-key. Pm moi
going TO sleep with the door upon the
latch, 10 De murdered before the morn
ing. - -
t"Faugh! Pah! wheuebI That
hlthy tobacco smOkel us enough 10
kill any decent woman. You know 1
hate tobacco. aud yet you will do il.
lOh don't smoke y0IfESekfS What of
that! ltyou go among people who do
smoke, you're just as bad, or worse.
Hon might as well lsmoke-indeed, bet
ter. Better smoke yourself than come
home with other peoples smoke ali in
your hair and whiskers.
never knew any good TO come to a
man who went to a tavern. Nice COM
Panions he picks up there YesS peo-
pie who make II a boast to treat their
wives like slaves, and ruin the families
Ihere's that wretch, Harry Prettyman.
See what he's come to. He doesn't
now get home till two in the morning;
and then IN what a state! He begins
quarrellng with the door-mat, that his
poor wife may be afraid TO speak TO
him. a mean wretchi But don't you
think III be like Mrs. PrettymAn. No:
wouldn't put up with 1t from tine best
man that ever trod. You'll not make
me afraid TO speak To you, however YOU
may swear AT The doOr-naI. No. Mr.
Caudle, that you WON'T
. You don't intend 10 stay ont until ttso
IN the morning. ? How do You know
what you'll do when You get among
such people2 Men can't answer for
themselves when they get boosting one
with another They never think of
their poor wives, who are gTieving and
wearing themselves out at home. A
nice headache yOu'Il have Tomorrow
morniug-Or rather this morning; for il
must be past twelve. You troR't hare a
heGdGehel Il is very well for you 10
say so, but know you will and then
you may nurse yourself for me. Hal
that filthy tobacco again! No; shall
not go TO sleep like good soul. How's
people to go 10 sleep when they're suffo-
Gated ?
Yes, Mr.. Caudle, you'll be nice and
i'll in the morning! But don't you think
l'm going 10 let you have your break
fast IN bed, like Mrs. PretIyman. I'll
not be such a Iool. No: nor l won't
have dtscredit brought upon the house
by sending for soda-water early, for ALI
the neighborboOd 10 say, 'CandIe was
n HFNI L NsFG M
gard for the dear children, il Won
haven't. No: nor you shau't have
broth for dinner. Not a neck OF mutton
crosses my Threshold, can tell you.
- You i0osl't tou1lt soda, aud you IcoE't
haze broth All the better. You
wouldn't get 'em If you did, can as
sure you. Dear, dear, dear, The filthy
tobacco! I'm sure it's enough TO make
me as bad as you are. Talking about
getting divorced-Pm sure tobacco
ought TO be good grounds. How little
does woman think, when she marries,
that she gives herself up to be poisoned!
You men contrive to have It all on
your own side, you do. Now If Was
TO go and leave you aud the children, q
pretty noise there'd be! You, however.
can go and smoke no end OF pipes, and
You didH't smoke It's all the same,
Mr.. Caudle if you go among smoking
people. Folks are known by their COM
pany. You'd better smoke Yourself
than bring home the pipes OF all the
world.
''Yes, 1 see how it will be. Now
you've once gone TO a tavern, you'll al
ways be going. You'll be coming
home tipsy every night; and tumbling
down and breaking your leg, and put
ting out your shoulders and bringing
all sorts of disgrace and expense upon
us. And then you'll be getting inio a
street tight-oh! know your temper
too we'll 10 doubt it, Mr.. Caudle-and
be kicking down some of the police.
And then l know what will follow. 1t
must follow. Yes, you'll be absent for
a month or six weeks to the tread mill.
Pretty thing that, for a respectable
trsdesman, Mr.. Caudle, 10 be put upon
the tread-mill with all sorts of thieves
and vagabonds, and-there, again, that
horrible tobacco land rifraff of every
kind Ishould like to know how your
children are to hold up their heads,
after their father has been upon the
tread mill? No; 1 i1On't go 10 sleep.
And I'm not talking of what's impos-
sible. L know it will all happen-every
bit of it. If it wasn't for the dear chill
dren, you might be ruined, and
wouldn't so much as speak about il,
out-oh, dear, deari at least you might
go where they smoke good tobacco-but
l can't forget that I'm their mother. At
least, they shall have one parent.
''Tavernsi Never did man go to
tavern who didn't die a beggar- And
how your pot-companions will laugh
at you when they see your name in tue
'GdEstteH For it must happen. Your
business is sure TO fall OF; for what re-
spectacle people wul buy toys tor their
children of a drunkardi You're not "A
drunkard! No: but you will belts
all the same.
You've begun by staying out I'LL
u1idnipht Ru-ana -
night. But don't you think, Mr.. Cau-
die, you shall ever have a key. know
you Yes; you'd do exactly like that
ettymau, and what did he do, only
last Wednesday? Why, he let himself
IN ABOUT iour in the morning, and
brought home with him his pot-com-
Panion, Putty. His dear wife woke at
SIX and saw PrettyTnan's dirty boots at
her bedside. And where was the
wretch, her husband? Why, he was
drinking down stairs-swillIng. Yes:
worse than a midnight robber, he'd
taken the keys out of his dear wife's
pocket-ha! what that poor creature
has 10 bear and had got at the
brandy. pretty thing for a wife to
wake at six in the morning, and In
stead of her husband, TO see his dirty
boots
But I'll not be made youF victim,
Mr.. Caudle, not I. You shall never get
at my keys, for they shall lie under my
PiIlow-lnder my own head, Mr.. eau
die.
you'll be ruined, but II can help
it, you shall ruin nobody but yourself.
"Oh /! that hor-hOr-hor-i-bIe tob-
SEC Z"
To this lecture Caudle afixes no COM
ment. A certain proof, We think, that
Fthe man had nothing TO say for him
self.
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