Des Arc weekly citizen., 1867-06-01


 breeding and politeness used inter- changeably with good manners, as phrases of the same import. Yet there is difference in these words. Good breeding, like good department, is a large expression.
 To be well-bred one must be brought up in certain way, have certain ad- vantages, and improve those advan- tages and opportunities. A well-bred person will be polite person nccessa- rily. But a person may have good manners and not be polite; for the manners may be goed according to op- portunities. Politeness springs from cultivation. Its development will de- pend upon capacity and opportunity Some people have no capacity for man. ncrs, some can be drilled into behaving themselves, while others exhibit nat ural adaptation to attaining an agreed ble demeanor.
 How often do we hear it said, ssSo- and-so is bore ou can make nothing of him ;" and again, "What pleasant manners Mrs. So-and-so has!' .Ycs, they arc natural to her.' There is in nate refinement, and there is native grace, and when these are cultivated the result is very charming.
 Opportunity and importantly" said an Irishman who fell from grace, "arc too much for poor humanity!" When nature and association are against q man, Turveydrop will hardly make him pass muster in review where manner is the ordeal.
 Good manners refer to personal in- tercourse whether the persons are ab- sent or present. They involve respect, case, frankncss, consideration, so that you always behave toward others, re- serving to yourself the right to select your acquaintances, and to determine the measure of the acquaintanceship, as you would wish they should behave unto you.
 Whoever cultivates such principles of action will be, according to the po- sition in the world lie occupies, the posscssor of good manners.
 These were the principles which gov crned Robert Burns, who born peas ant, moved with case in the society of his day, from the hut to the castle, whose associates reached from the com monest and most illiterate, to the most distinguished and most cultivated in Scotland.
 Such, too, were the principles of the Ettrick Shepherd, who boasted that he had moved in every grade of society. and had fonud himself so much at home in each that ,le could not tell to which he really belonged.
 When Alton Locke feund h.mself at Lord Lyndale's, not little nervous iD so new sphere, he received from q friend this piece of advice: "Be natu- ral." It was as good advice as could have been given. To be Kind, sincere, and unaffected is to be wcll-manncrod. Respect, consideration, kind feeling, have great deal to do with oi!iug the wheels of tho world. It is singular how often we find those who should know what good manners require, ap- parently indifferent in regard to some of the customs of life which should not be neglected.
 Clergymen even, who should set an example of good breeding, arc often grossly negligent in the matter of re- plying to letters. The very persons, too, who are most regardless of others feelings and interests, are most prompt to take oflense. Let ono of those dis tinguished people who never can re- member or find time to write, address letter to another upon some subject requiring an answer, and find no notice taken of it, and the deeply injured in- dividual will quite fail to recognize that he is receiving some of the coin of which he has disbursed so much. Peo- pie ought not to forget what concerns themselves and have no apology for forgetting what interests others. If if were only 8 matter of feeling, still feel ings should be regarded.
 Society is becoming sadly yulgarizcd by the introduction of slang, so that the pure speaker is rare. It passes for wit or humor with some people, es- pecially with those-who are incapable of either, very much as conceit passes for cleverncss with the unintcllectual and uninformed.
 Soubriquets are among the vulgar isms which should awaken disgust What can be more rude than to apply epithets and names to others, thus rem dering them subjects of ridiculc. Sa- tire is allowable; it can be indulged in face to face and need not rutlle feath- CT. It shows want of cieverncss to allow satire to degenerate into sarcasm. Sarcasm may be permitted under ccr- tain circumstances for as a distinguish ed President of the United States once remarked, "Hitting hard and lending off is sometimes pleasant occupa- tion." But vulgar rudeness should be classed with that mediocre excel lence in poets which, Horace says, is intolerable to Gods and men"
 We have often noticed point in ct- iquette which seems expressly adapted to the protection of the rights and feel ings of both sexes. We allude to the custom which requires the lady to speak first, and which requires the gentleman to return the bow when