The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1867-06-21
From the Indianapolis Herald.

Howa Young mun Goes TO bed.
A few days since we published an ex-
tract from a story in the "Land we
Love-" written by Miss Fanny Downing
1t was entitled ''How u young lady
goes to bed" and although not an en-,
tire stranger to q lady's boudoir, wo can
not assure the less enlightened of Our
sex ofthe fidelity or truthfulness of Miss
Fanpy's sketch. Doubtless it afforded
great qualification to the majority OF
male readers; it did to us, we know, and
as slight return We intend to diclOse
to her sex the manner in which young
man goes to bed, and shall cite as an
example one of our own acquaintance.
For convenience we adopt the same
style in which the other was written,
and use the past tense.
Dismissing his fuddlea companion OF
the evening at the street door, master
George performed the task of ascending
the two flights of stairs leading to his
own room, as noislessly as the weakness
of his knees would admit, and without
other assistance than that of his own
unsteady fingers grasping along the
walls. Upon reaching the room the
coat was removed and flung at the back
of the nearest chair; the vest was hand
led more carefully, as the pocket con-
tanned his watch, but the pantaloons
came off with a jerk.
After filling and lighting his pipe ne
proceeded with the preliminaries. Some
recent purchases were taken from coat
pocket and part placed upon the mantel
and the balance slowed away in trunk
to be used as circumstances might re-
quire. With much tugging, growing
and swearing the boots were removed,
and the last one being unusually trou-
blesome received an impetus from the
foot that sent it flying to the fur
thermost corner. Removing then a
pair of socks (that should have been in
the washerwoman's tub) an earnest and
pr0tracted inspection of the feet ensued,
the young man indulging in specula.
tions as to whether or no those blasted
corns would prevent his appearing in
"them new boots" at that "little gather
ing" tomorrow night. The delicate
paper collar (size immateriaD was has
tily torn off, and being soiled on both
sides frsm turning, was disdainfully
tossed toward the fire place and the
neck tie flung on the foot of the bed.
The usual slow process of removing
the shirt was ignored on this occasion;
several impatient jerks and then with o
sudden stretch upward of the bony
arms, off went buttons, rip went muslin
and the angular shoulders Of the wear
or "rose in unrestricted freedom The
Snowy" night shirt was then drawn
over the head and its delicate-cotton
tape binding and graceful folds of brown
canton flannel left to accommodate
themselves to circumstances.
"A puff of fragrant breath" redOlent
Of bad gin and lemon from q pair of to-
bacco stained lips, and ont went the
light, and down went the pipe on the
table. Not being so fortunate as to
have any "Mandy" for roommate, and
the household domestics being aged and
discreet he did not leave the door un-
bOltsd, bat with q growl Mt the bache-
loric solitude of his couch, jerked down
the "kiver,n plunged within, pressed his
innocent head on the the pillow, and
after several moments Of twitching,
turning and grumbling, settled on his
back and Q fierce attack Of snoring en-
sued, which closes the scene.
Imagine such domestic existence as
this linked to the ETHEREAL, dainty and
refined "Miss Preston" Enjoy your little
maidenly privileges and arrangements
while You can "Miss Charlie" for we
fear that q variety of circumstances in
welded life, would ruthlessly Interfere
with the systematic course ascribed to
you in preparing for Q nights rest.