The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1867-01-05
Letter from Quartz.
HALL OF THE PHLUNKIEs,
Jan. l, 1867.

Jan. /, 1851
Dear Nolin Since l last had the i'm
maculate privilege" as Quitz would say, of
dropping few lines to you, it has been my
good fortune to fall in with Lucias Level,
and assure you that he has placed me un-
der many obligations for the kind manner
in which he taught me to spell and write
you see l can spell common words correctly,
even if do stick when it comes to the hard
ones Well, Nolin, there's been powerful
time in Bolivar and thereabouts since Jen-
kins tossed up the spunge-I never said
glass, did ? And, to tell you the truth, it
has been mighty hard for me to keep silent
so long, seeing as how there was so much to
blowviate about Nolin, Quartz are muchly
Pestered-yea, he hath many grievances to
relate, chief among which is the loss of his
nsules-aud speaking of mules itreminds
me of what happened to an aged sire Of
many Of those faithful animals Away down
IN Georgia there lived an Industrious son of the
Emerald isle, and who, like the Bulletin
man, was passionately fond of hunting After
Teddy Mulligan, for such was his name, had
drawn around him fair share Of this worlds
goods, he sent for poor brother of his, who
still remained in the "ould country" As
soon as Terrence arrived, he was importuned
to take look over the fields of his brother,
and at the same time was prevailed upon to
try his had at shooting game. He agreed,
and off the couple started. Having arrived
at the edge Of an old sage field, Teddy gave
his brother full instructions as to the char
acter of the game-rabbits they were to bag
and told him that there was coolies of them in
the old field remark g that he would know
them by their large ears. At this they parted
company, each one selecting his own route,
but it was understood that they were to meet
at the farm house at dinner time. Time
passed off rapidly, and Teddy had been
quite successful and having secured several
rabbits and a number of quails, returned to
the house. In a short time Terrence came
in, and asked his brother what luck he had.
Faith, an its myself that got good pot
full, said Teddy, at the same time exhibit
ing his string of game. Terrence pushed
them from him in the most disdainGul man
ner, and with look of reproach, instantly
replied Teddy, that beats the divil in
tirely; an is it yourself that's been Twin in
America for forty years, and all this time
KILN the young uns Howly Moses, but
just come with me feminist the ould stump
in the field an I'll show you the daddy of
all the rabbits" This aroused Teddy's sus-
picions as to the safety of his little mare
mules ancient sire, and off he put for the
spot indicated by his unsophisticated brother.
Once upon the ground his worst fears were
realized there lay the daddy of all the
rabbits as cold as yankee philanthropy /
Nolin, wish you would swing round a
little and poke a few well-directed blows into
the short ribs of those who have not con-
tributed their mite to the Monumental fund
Z he noble-hearted ladies who compose the
society have left nothing undone that would
tend to crown their efforts with success
If Marshall county can build marble monu-
ment to her dead sons, surely Hardeman
should do nothing less Put in a good word
where you can, and tell the people to sub
scribe. How is it about the Court House
What about the hog holes and duck puddles
that render our streets so miserable? How's
jenkins How's lze-an-ears? How's Quitz +?
in fact how are the phlunkies in genera?
Loom up Nolin, and show your Light
know there's a red-horse in sight Devise
some quick and speedy means by which to
cheat the altar of its victim do it nor leave
the task to me Hows that2
Searchingly yours,
A. J. QUARTZ, ESQ.