Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1867-11-21
NmtHrrnns department.
sUT LOVINGOOD,s DREAM.

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SUIT IovNGooD's DREAM.
I was orful dry tother day, George, an
fndin a lot ov green whisky, jist sucked
: in o skinful ov it strait along. The fus'
mouthful swallered I hearn splosh in my
heels. Iwur dry and empty both, BY gol
", so dry that arter hit riz purity we'll uI
in me, hit soaked through and stood all over
me in draps, maxim me look like big reti.
kule kivered with beads, but swelled tight
.er arter while, then I filled up purity soon
AS soon as I Good reich hit by runnin 9
spoon handil down my throte, I slot of
steam, and sot into rovin roun. Hit warnt
long before I found myself tangled by the
laigs in the dorg fennel, and l fell in 9
heap down hill, SO I thort the mos peaceful
thing could do war to 60 to sleep, o think.
in ov q runnin winmil.
Well, I dreamed me dream. thort
wur in hell, and had bin sent thar fur votin
the Radikil ticket. I felt the jestice ov the
sentence 50 much that I didn't feel so on
easy and mad about hit as would bin ei
they had sent me thar fur murderin bline
ole oman, or maxim back log ov sum gal S
fust baby, arter soakin hit in turpentine,
or sich like common wickedness. thort
I he'd bin thar long enuf to sorter begin to
git used to the taste ov the whisky they
stills: down thar, an muss say thinks hit
a little better than the truck what the skull
kers out ov the Confedrit army billed for
the government, because hit didn't create
the appetite to Gus, steal or desart half as
soon on me, in Tophet, as that. Twas safer
whisky, George, safer whisky. Well, /
thort hell was perfec roun hole-as roun
as bum shell, right in the senter ov the
yearth. The walls wur glazed as slick as Is
an inyun peelin, and wur but jest half full
.oY melted dinner pots, dorg irons, an ole
clock wates, with scum of smoking brim-
stone a foot deep. The Devil staid aboard
ov bote, and had hisself rowed roun jest
as he pleased, by the jury what found the
bill agin JEFF Davis. They looked like thade
like to have another pop at that JOB. l
think, by golly, thade hunt long spell afor
tina found hit agin.
d T thort thar war long lether aidged cleats
nailed to the wall to cline by. Tha wur
squar aidged up, so the climin has all to be
done on one side, an when fellers got tired
ov swimmin, they jest sot into climin the
cleats. I noticed that new comers wur
powerful fond ov climin. Thade sorter
slack off sometimes, ontil tina sunk into the
melted clock wates up to the pint ov their
tail bone, and by the gost ov q skeered
monkey, they'd come up oyerhanded to their
work agin, Jest wriglin and snortin.
They worked like squrils on tired mill.
burned eff tina dident keep the thing rollin
strate along, and George, jest as sure as
you or fut:: high, that's what keeps the
yearth turnim roam; I found hit out at last.
Well, one day the trap dore opened and
the Devil ordered old Forney to steer under
the hole. He steers wild, On after swim
min nearly all over hell, he got thar, when
down poured into the bote the durnedest
sluice of mean looking cusses you ever seed.
Everybody already thar turned thar heads
to look at 'em, an clum faster, skeered at
'em by gony. Tha wur Radikils, the last
burned one. Sum had ropes roun their
mex, with running noos ahind the year,
sum had holes in their heads, sum had big
gill cut under their chin, and every one
Showed sines of hard times an hurry. l
seed Stevens, Sumner, Wade, Butler, sur
named the Beast, on Wendell Phillips.
"Hey," sez the Devil, "what's rong above
colery ?' sWus nor that" sez Sumner,
ssthe Constitution people has riz an ov korce
we are here; say your Majesty, is Preston
Brooks here?" "0h, no." sez the Devil.
"Wen," sez Sumner, sorter brightnin up
and rubbin his hans. "I'm burned glad he
amt" s'Stop mint" sez the Devil, wait
till sorts you all out. . Hc took up nee
dill as long as harpoon, and with big
onile of trace chains he threaded it. Then
he picked out all the common cusses among
'em, an strung 'em on the chain, an hung
the hole bunch over the aidge of the bote
into the birthstone. Jehosaphat! how they
sizzled and dove and sloshed an sprinkled
hot iron about with their tails. A string
of sun pearch wood bin no whar.
While the Devil wur sortin the small
fry, Butler, surnamed the Beast, aidged
back to whar I sot in the bote, a keepin one
eye sorter on the Devil, an tother on me, and
he whispered in my year, ''whar's Sis
phus? ?" Sez I, ''don't know, why" 30,
nothin, only wanted to see which node the
most ov our traids, him or me-" Then he
whispered, Chat mortal off eye ov hisn still
sot on the DevilD sfsay, do you know whar
his majesty keeps his spoons :" Sez l,
stdoes you see that chain hangin over the
starn? he keeps em in big pot sunk at
tother eend ov hit" He jest went over the
starn head fust, and cooned hit down the
chain, outenside under the birthstone. Ar
ter being down spell, he cum back lookin
disperited like, but his gineral look wul
powerfully improved by a bath in melted
birthstone. swow he lookt heap more
like human. See he, 'gone, pot andall.
opened my eyes. Sez he, ''kaint Forney
got emp SEE I, "Mebby so-he's bin
fumblin round the ~stsfn~ q good while. .
Derned eff he didn't sarch every pocket ole
Forney had, and the ole Gus never cotch
him at hit, and he got the spoons.
While this wus agoing on, Old Thad WI,
a trying to claim kin with the Devil, 8
comparin his foot along with ole Nick's.
think the pint wur to git offs, for l herr
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