Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1867-10-24
!, .narrIed Man Wakes Up the
Wrong Passenger.


Mr.. 2. Lives on Market street, IN a
cortsin house, bearing certain num-
Der he is the happy possessor Of a
wife and score or more of children,
n 4 well blessed with this worlds goods,
and of course is much admired and
,atronized by all his neighbors.
Nr.Z. is also a public spirited man,
q and nothing delights him more than
o see some work Of internal improve
mept He attends all meetings and
ether gatherings looking towards the
promotion of these objects, and was
a never known to be backward in sub.
s,ribing TO any cause calculated to ad-
vance the best interests Of st. Louis.
Having given this short history OF
y the man and bis aspirations, it is un-
!, necessary to add that he was present
4 at the Millers and Flour Merchants
n Convention, held at the Merchants
n Exchange, last Wednesday, and made
one or two vigorous speeches. When
evening came, it required but little
urging to prevail upon him to stay at
the banquet Being ola social nature
and much interests in the objects of
the convention, be came to the con-
clusion that If he could advance those
objects by taking his seat at a we'll
filled supper table and putting down
a few glasses Of Heidsick. he would do
it; and so Mr. z. staid 1t was late
or early, rather-when the company
broke up to go home There is moth
/ ing extraordinary in this circumstance
but our duty as faithful historian
eompels us to disclose the fact that
Mr.. g. was slightly fuddled or, if this
is too harsh term, elevated. His
eyes fairly twinkled with merriment,
and be became oppressed with such
an inOrdinate desire for speech-mak-
ing that he was only silenced by g
couple Of gentlemen clapping their
haudkerchiefs over his mouth and.
leading him from the room.
In this unsteady, uncertain and tot
tering condition, Mr.. 2. was conveyed
10 his room and left at the street door.
Here be dismissed the kind friends
who had piloted him with a paternal
blessing, and then addressed himself
TO tho task of getting into the house
and 10 bed without arousing the part
ner of his bosom. This undertaking,
however, involved considerable diff
cllty The sleeping room was in the
second story, third floor from thestair-
way landing, and although 2. could
have found it well enough at other
times, yet at this particular junctqre
hs fell mighty uncertain. He open
cd tns door softly and commenced to
creep np stairs. 1t seemed to him as
,aCd gh he weighed a ton, for each and
every stair seemed to groan and
squeak with pain, and in an agony of
desperation he clung to the banisters.
Arriving at the top he CROPPED around
in ths darkness until his band came
in contact with the knob of the door,
ard imagining that it led to the couch
where reposed his partner in the
dreams of innocence, he turned it
softly and entered. He would not
light the gas, but disrobed in the dark,
and of came his coat, vest and pants,
ard last his boots lie thought that
be could not be mistaken in the room
for he detected articles of dress such
as could be worn by none but femi-
nine. He tangled himself in a pair of
hoops. -stubbed histoe against some
French corsets and mentally swearing
at Mrs 2. for leaving her things where
he could stumble over them; shuffled
up slowly to the bedside, and turning
down the clothes, was in the act OF
placing his leg beneath, when a pier
cling scream broke out upon the mid
night air, and a white-robed figure
jumped like lightning from the bed,
and going TO the window shouted,
"Help, helpl save me, its a man T"
The whole house was soon in an up.
roar A policeman, three blocks dis.
tant, hearing the hubbub, started foi
the scene, shaking his rattle vigorous
ly as he ran; but Mrs. a., who slept in
the next room adjoining, was the first
to rush TO the rescue. We shall not
attempt to describe the sight that
met her eyes on bursting open the
deor. There in corner, screaming
with might aud main, was the young
lady guest that she had invited TO
sperd the evening with her, and there
by the bedside stood Mr. T., in puris
HdtpralJuS, looking as though he had
been fooled by Balaams ass and was
about to be turned out of green pas
lures. Mrs. q gave one long agoni-
zing look and muttored out: "Oh F.
yea naughty man, and them tumbleG
backward on a death faint, while the
unfeeling wretch alluded to, sat downin
q chair. passed his hand over his brow
once or twice, and exclaimed: "Well,
III be cursed !"
He strayod into the wrong room.
We are happy to state that the matter
is now settled, in consideration OF his
promising to never stay out another
evening later than ten o'clock.-H.
Louis Times
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