Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1867-11-01
A Practical Juist.
Rich Scene In n Railroad Car.

Rith Scene In n Railroad Car.
There were five of us--yc five ns
happy fellows ns were ever let loose
from college. It was ''vacation," and
we concluded to take a trip to the falls
We got aboard the cars at N, and were
soon travelling very rapidly towards
our destination. We had Just seated
ourselves and prepared for n comforta-
bic smoke, when ih came the conduc-
tor, and who should ii be but our old
friend, Fred. Il. After the common
salutations had passed, Fred. said he
had business for US To attend to.
'Out with IL old chum," said we
"anything at all will be acceptable, so
let us have 1t.
"Well, boys" said he, ain the next
car there Is as loving pair rs 1t was
ever my lot to see. They are going
down to III. to get married; and now,
| II you can have any fun over II, just
pitch in"
In "A moment he was gone, and we
set our heads together to form u
plan.
"I have it, boys,n said Bill Steters.
eve must make the girl think that
her lover is marriedn--
"That's 1t, Bill, that's it, said we
not giving him time to finish the SEN
| tence.
"'rhat he Is married man and the
father OF children" said Bill.
ltdcvolved upon me To commence
operations. Accordingly, Ientered the
car in which we were informed the
lovers were. Sure enough, there they
were. The girl, thinking, suppose
that she must give her lover all tile
seat, had taken seat on his knee, and
he, for the purpose of protecting her
had thrown his arm around her waist
and SO they sat I'm real, soft lovers style
! All this gathered Mt n glance. Step.
ping up to them, said:
"Why, Jones, what i'm the deuce ar.
you doing with this grip"
The girl rose hastily and seated her
self on the seat.
''See here, stranger" said the fellow
"you are mite mistaken my name
amt Jones.n
why, Jones'" said I, "you certainly
haven't left your wife andthildren, ,an6
tried to palp yourself off for singl,
! man, have your"
81 tell you my Dame amt Jones; III
Harper. Ii never was Jones; 'taint I
going to he, nuther."
/ merely shook my head, and passe,
on to another seat to see the rest OF tn,
fun. About the time the couple got I,
feeling all right again In came Elliott
Gresg.- Walking up to Harper, he &c
costed him with:
"Why, Jones, you here? How die
you leave your wife and babies?"
"Now, see here, stranger, you ain
the first man that's called me Jones to
day, an | reckon must look awful,
like him; but amt Jones; / ain
get wife, nor babies either; but thi
'ere gal an me Is going to splice, ant
then you can talk about my wife, and
wouldn't wonder but what, In cours,
of time, you might talk about babies
but you mustn't call me Jones'"
This rctort brought forth voclferou
laughter from the spectators, and als'
brought bushes to the face of the gir
That was going 10 be spllced."
"Ah, Jones' said Gregg, you'll re
; gret this In the future. Ipity yourwif
and this poor girl.'
$50, Mr.. Harper, your real name i
Jones, is il? and you have been footing
me, have your Well we amt splicet
yet, and don't think we shall bc yer,
soon, said the girl, and her eyes flash
ed fire.
, Jane, Jane?' said Harper, "don'
you know / am Bill Harper? Tha
amt drop of Jones blood in me, an
! I'll prove It."
. AT this moment, jeff. Jackson, Bill
Stevers and Jim Byres entered, and o
course their attention was called t
Harper by his loud talking. They step
ped up to him, and said:
"Why, Jones, what Is oil this fus
about?p Es7
This was more. than Harper coul,
stand. He leaped upon seat.
T Now said &c, "niy name Is no
Jones, and can lick the fellow tina
says 10 is"
, by this time we had got to H., nm
our friend Fred. came into the ear am
got Harper to keep quiet. The girl tina
wouldn't be 'splicedn requested Fred
. to help her on the train that was goinl
back to s., which he did, and the nc
torious Jones, alias Harper, followe,
her. We learned afterwards that Ii
proved himself to be Bill Harper In
stead OF Bill Jones, and he and his gu
Jane, got ''spliccd.o