The weekly Butte record., 1867-08-17


Can alone comfort borrow,
We find il soonest when untaught;
joy comes to again unsoGyht.
And We forgot our silent SORROW.
EXTREME SIArLIcIrY.-A country man took his
seat at tavern table. opposite TO gentleman who
was ndulging in a bottle of wine. Supposing the
wine to be common property. our unsophsticated
country friend helped himself to it with the gentle
mans glass. That's COOL y exclaimed the owner
of the wine Indignantly. Yes" replied the 9th
er, Il should think there wine in it,
PRErrY FAcEs.-Young Ladies should consider
that the pretty faces and graceful lanQuor which
it is especially attractive to the most impetnous
of the other sex, gained them ardent lovers, will
not enable them To satisfy the innumerable reauis-
iions and secure the social happiness of the idge-
" and exactiDg husbands, into which character
ardent and impetuous lovers often transferred.
AMAN in Boston, while being shaved, recently,
jumped from the chair TO stop his horse. which be-
ing left at the door, suddenly started and the bar
ber's razor neatly and expeditiously severed his
from his face.
YouNG lady refused to go into the Waterve
Arsenal the other day. because she had heard that
some of the muskets were without breeches. She
viewed the arsenal from a distance
VIRGINIA negro according to an exchange, on
Nearing that Congress was going to give lands 10
the darkies said: Land de debbil Use free now
and don't want no land. Use gwne to git wurms
and go a fishing.
81 think said a wife, who could not agree with
her husband: II think. Mr.. JONES' we had better
divide the house." Very well. my dear replied
the wretch, yoI take the outside and III have the
inside
Two hundred years ago a Scotch emigrant car
ried 10 Canada a thistle. Intentionally or otherwise
planted in is neighbor soil, and to-day it is the best
of the Provinces, depIeciatng the value of real es
tate from thirty to fifty per cent.
THE merchants of Boston refuse to employ per
sons connected with baseball clubs the sport hav-
ing been carried TO such excess there to rem
der those who engaged in it unfit for steady labor
any DEAR said spouse to her other half "I'm
going shopping to-day and want little change
''Poohi" responded the savage, THAT would be no
change at all; you go shopping every day.
AT public sale of books "Drew's Essay on
Souls was knocked down to shoemaker, who, to
the great amusement of crowded room. asked the
auctioneer ii he had any more books on shoemak-
ing to sell.
- No honest radical will deny that large majority
OF the people OF this Union against the Radical
party. ct that party claims to be u party OF the
people, of law and liberty.
WIru four metallic Qualifications man NAV be
sure of earthly success. These are Gold in his
pocket, Silver IN his tongue, Brass i'll his face and
iron in his heart
GLOUCESTER paper says there is a Young lady
in that town modest that she will not allow the
Christian Observer to remain i'll her room over
night.
THF following political argument recently an
peared ia Parkersburg (West Vrgina) paper:
''Vote for General Harms for Mayor who was ten
years old before he ever wore pants or Shoes
PRIEST asked tipsy fellow leaning against
the fence. where he expected to go when he died.
III can't get along any better then than now -
said 81 can't go nowhere"
Mr.. Billings says: 'sRise earlv work hard and
late hive on what you can't sell give nothing away
and if you don't die rich and go to the devil you
may sue me for damages.
PoEr intended to say: See the pale ma rtyr in
sheet on FIRE instead of which the printer made
him say see the pale martyr with shirt fire.
JONES complained of a bad smell about the most
Office, and asked Brown what could be- Brown
ddn know, but suggested that it might be caused
by the dead letters
THg Peruvian Congress has passed decree for
acontinnanee or the war with Spain. 1t gives
much offence TO the commercial interests of that
country.
THE cotton worm has made its appearance in
Texas, particularly in the coast counties. In many
instances the farmers % had to plow up the cot
ton and plant corn.
Why is "a soldier. acting in compliance with an
order given him, like his most formidable wean
ong Because he's sebeyin it Ia bayonet).
WoMAN-The only endurahle aristocrat-elects
without ballot. governs without law and decides
without appeal.
Ton says the other day he SAW a walking match
and hily says that's nothing, for he saw a candle
run.
A MAN fell out of hotel window in New York
and killed himself His ideas of distance were CON
fused by whiskey.
THEIRS are five hundred wooden factories in the
State OF Indiana. some of them having over three
hundred thousand dollars invested.
AN exquisite divine put the finishing touch to a
marriage ceremony. when he concluded by saving:
pronounce you husband aud lady.
We have heard Of but one woman that kissed
her cow, but there are thousands of young ones
That Kiss great calves.
If you wish 10 get rich. get married When was
money ever made With one bee ia the hive.
WHAT is that which makes all women equally
pretty! Putting the candles out"
THS girls say that the times are SO hard that the
young men cannot pay their addresses.
THERE are great many langhable things upo,,
me CID eaiih, bat she always keeps her gravity
WIEN vain man makes up his mind. he nigh,
wsii ieei mortified at the smaiaess of his pac cSase
tbs clear profits OF the Massachusetts State
PRISON last year were 81 600.