The Lancaster ledger. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1852-1905, 1867-10-31
a Soldiers Misfor tune.

An Arkansas gentleman furnishes the
following account OF n sad disaster that
befsll him, while he was playing com
manlant OF a military pos, during the late
war:
In 1863, WAS ordered to the town Of
A, in Mississippi, as pos, com
mandant. had ef;en heard Of the place
rs being gay, dressy town, with more
than usual number OF young adies.-
Now, as ] had been on field duty for
seven or eight months, wi,hou, having
even bowed to member Of the "female
persuasion" very naturally felt consid,
cradle anxiety MS to the state Of nv ward
robe, which, I" tell tho truth, was in de
plorahly dilapiinted condition. Upon ex
animation, found that NV hes, coat was
jacket lis ths. a "bull?") and nv best
parts had seen service until they were
dangerously thread bare in certain places.
However. they we're tie best had, and
after carefully brushing, | rolled them up
for dress occasions. reached nv post
on Saturday evening, and having no &C.
qusintances. | concluded on Sunday morn.
ing to attend Divine service. I, did not
take me long to dress. and my jacket and
uowsers were soon on duty, aud tying a
sssh, slightly the worse for wear, abou,
my waist as finish. considered myself,
for the times. presen:able. soon reach
ed the church, and found i, filed, with
the exception OF one pew, which, being
under wiui"w. | imagined hal bean
avoided on account OF the sun, which
siona full upon it. With An old soldiers
indifference to ,rnes, I boldly entered the
vacan, pew anil Sc, me down. AS I did
40. thought detected merry twinkle
in the eyes and nervous twitching Of the
laughing muscles Of some rosy.c..eeked
misses Who occupied .he seat in rear Of
me. Aiier being seated y few moments,
the opsnirg hymn WAS read, and as the
congregation arose, I made an effort to
get upon my feet. but was horrified to
find myself glued to the bench The
young ladies in rear smiled aud IDLY, which
cannot say added to my comfort.-
Another effort, followed by a peculiar
noise, as OF cloth being torn, and smoth
cred "te he lie bel" from The young ladies.
Thought |, "Here's fix for frst appear.
ance." All this time, had kept "eyes
frout;" but now, taking a ely Glance out
OF the corner Of nv right. | saw the situ
alton at once. The confounded bench
WAS made Of stat" pine, with only one
coat Of paint. The hes, Of the sun had
drawn the crude turpen,ine to the surface,
making soft coating Of at least fourth
OF an iuch in thickness.
There / sat, ",he observed of all osa-
servers" with face like red cabbage
regularly "limed II The sermon seemed
intermiosble. dared not look at any
Ohc, "Hb upou huo s' Loot iloVoin tuk tue
iofernal trousers would .ear with noise
that was exceedingly embarrassing. I'm
afraid my mind was too intent on plann-
lag an e,caps when the service should
close. to enjoy the parsons eloquence,
and regre, to say that l have never been
able to remember bis text. felt that
every man, woman and child in the house
knew M wte,ched predicament. "If /
only lad on long tailed coat instead Of
this dsuced jacket" thought ]. Finally,
with feeling of desperation, I determin
ed TO make break .or il, and while the
last song wss being sung, | took advan
tage Of the higher notes to tear myself
loose, which accomplished Just as the
cong Was finished. Inlenssly relieved 10
find myself free, arose for the benedicr
ton, boding with careful carlessness my
sioucaed hst behind me 10 conceal DANA
ges. Bus was hardly eroc! upon my