Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1867-08-02
T,hinn- wise s. Othcrxvise.

MTs fSNTIluH nus Auucu I'D TIE cOlIeC~
tion of curiosities mt his Museum
years old and to weigh 220 pounds.
A young woman not out Of her teens
was recently married In Portland, Me-,
to vigorous boy OF sixty odd years.
On Saturday night, the union was
blessed with q handsome family of four
children, two boys and two girls.
A letter wns mailed recently at tle
Cleveland post-oilicc, bearing the fol-
lowing superscription:
''ro Thomas Young, a genial 'cuss,
uy brevct rank q brigadicr,
Who I'm our late domestic 'mnss'
Was mover known tn turn hh rear
To rebel foes,
1his letter goes
AtCincinnatir'
When Sherman was In command In
Kentucky he was sercnaded by regi-
mental band, aud made speech In an
swer to calls, md made IL as follows.
"What the devil are you officers doing
here, making this Internal noise? You
ought to be I'm quarters teaching your
soldiers to quit burning rails, aud MAX
ing soldiers of them. | want no more
of this id noise about here"
A city editor who In bachelor hav-
ing said I'm his last issue that no really
wished he had son, that lie could
dress him up I'm the fashions, was called
upon the next day by his adorable, To
whom he had been paying his addresses
for the last two years, who asked him
if he really said that.
Certainly did, my DEAR
"Well, Jimmy said she, "why
don't you make arrangements for one?"
Our friend wiltad.
The little have seen of the world
teaches me to look upon the errors Of
others I'm sorrow, not I'm anger. When
| take the history of one poor heart
that has sinned and suffered, and rep
resent to myself the. struggles and
temptations II has passed through, the
brief pulsations of joy, the feverish in-
of want, the dissertation of friends,
would fain leave the erring soul Of my
fellow man with Him from whose hand
1t came. -LonafettoD.
Editors sometimes receive very curl
GUS requests" The following clipped
from New York paper In a pretty
good sample of those often met with i'm
editorial life:
"Plcase print something beautiful,
smart and respectable for me I'm the
copy that you send To Miss --. Some
smart piece that some person has writ
ten. / have heard thaty you was famous
for writing Smart Pieces. If you will
write me q smart piece and sign my
name to 1t I'm the copy that you send to
Miss ---- and In the copy that you send
TO me Will do more than as much for
you,n,
When the summer OF youth Is slow
ly wasting away I'm the nightfail of age,
and the shadow Of the past year grows
deeper and deeper, and life wears to its
close, Ii is pleasant to look back through
the vista of time upon the sorrows and
felicities Of our early years. IL we
have home To shelter us, and hearts
to rejoice with us, and friends gather
to gather around firesides, then the
rough places of our wayiaring will
have been worn and sm0thered away
In the twilight of life, while the sunny
spots we have passed through will grow
brighter and more beautiful.
There is a dignity about that going
alone, we call dying-that wrapping
the mantle of Immortality about US;
that putting aside with a pale hand tho
azure curtains that are drawn around
this cradle of world; that. venturing
away from home for tho first time I'm
our lives; for we are not dead--therc In
nothing dead to speak of, and we only
60 off seeing foreign countries not laid
down on the maps we know about.
There must be lovely lands somewhere
starward for none ever return that gO
| thither, and we very much doubt liz
any would If they could.--B. ~. Taylor.
FnrD DoUoIAss' ORAronY.-The
Nashville Tanner Is responsible for the
following:
We never heard Fred Douglass speak
but once. lie In n pretty sharp darkie,
we'll informed. rather graceful, and en-
tirely ready. On the occasion to which
we allude, he spoke I'm Independence
Square, In Philadelphia. His harangue
was violent, made up chiefly of descrip.
tioLs of the cutragcs practiccd upon
the slave by his master, and produced q
| very decided effect upon The crowd.
Perceiving this, Fred took his advant-
tage at the flood, and went higher and
higher into the region Of eloquence.
"Ah, my friends he said, III do not
speak from hearsay, ! stand before you
o living-I was going TO say n bleeding
witness tn the truth Of all relate.
III you could behold the stripes and
scars upon my backu--Just here an
Irishman vociferated, "Houid on Fred.
dy, darling-is 1t truth you is telling
us?" The darkey orator lifted his fin
ger trngically TO heaven I'm the afiirna-.
tive. "Oh, murder! did they lacerate
you? ~ Fred answered that they did.
"Did they thumb screw you?" Fred
buck YOU. like shnat ?'' Fred answer
cd that they did. "Bcgoryci'' r0aFod
Pat, .'if thnt be true, you must have
been d-d bad nager!" 1t closed tho
meeting In general row.
/ DON'T BE ExTRAyAGAST.--If the
house Inns any tcrrors for you, never
buy what you don't need. Before you
pay three cents for jcwslIarp, my toy.
ascertain whether you cannot make
just al pleasant noise by whistling,
for which nature furnishes the nachin-
cry. And before you pay $40 for cont.
young man, find out whether your lady
would not, be just as glad to see you In
one that costs half the money. III she
would not, let her crack her own hazel
nuts and buy her own clothes. When
you see man spending two or three
dollars week f0oIisIlly, the chances
are Ave TO one that he'll live long
enough to know how many cents there
are In dollar, and Ii he don't he's
pretty sure TO bequeath that privilege
I to his widow. When man asks you
TO buy that for which yo0 have no use,
no matter how cheap IL Ii, don't say
yes until your are sure that some ono
else wants It In advance. Money burns
In some folks pockets, and makes such
i big hole that evcrything that ID put
In drops through past finding.
DOMESTIC ENDEARMENT.--T hold II
indeed, to be . sure sign OF q mind not
little Joysand endearments Of q family.