Weekly New Oregon plain dealer. (New Oregon, Howard County, Iowa) 1866-1867, 1867-04-26
people follow them because they
don't know the antecedents Of those
we'll dressed cbbers and imps Of hell.
"A Legislative Wag.
From the Albany Evening Journal. I

|
"A Legislative Wag.
From the Albany Evening Journal.
John Oakly represents the coun-
ty Of Kings in the Assembly. He
is the "Artemus Ward'' of tho
House, man over-fowingw with wit,
humor and good-natured gcniality.
Oakly never speaks without, saying
something. He seldom says some :.
thing without giving the lovers Of
fun all the merriment they desire.
Mr.. Oakly, on Wednesday evening
last, went it strong on the Now
Capitol bill. We give his speech
verbatim, as taken down by four
stenographers and sixteen lead pen
ellis: -. ..,r.., f.,,
Mr.. Chairman-I intend to favor
this bill and yet l should not. When
/ recollect that the Goldfish aristoc-
racy of Albany is not worthy of de-
cent red herring, 1 am tempted to
say, "Oakly, do not make and ass
Of yourself by voting for the New
Capitol BILL" and yet will. will
vote for the bill, not because I like
Albany, but because I love the
State. '..''
Mr.. Chaigman-Il once thought
that to be member of the Assem-
bly, was to be high cockalorum at
the worlds poultry show. l have
lived to see my mistake. An AS
semblyman is some pumpkins in
New York. He is looked upon as a
Cicero in Duchess county, and as
Lycurgus in schoharie. But it is
not SO in Albany. In this city of
surgeons and stick-ups Legislators
are small potatoes and a few to a
hill. The first day after I reached
Albany, 1 hunted round, with a
shot gun and a pointer, to find a
boarding house. l. found one kept
by a nightcap and a mammoth wa
terfall, the widow Of a defunct gen.
tleman in heavy West India goods.
/ asked the widow of said defunct
if she desired another boarder. She
replied, "That depends upon circum-.
stances" L informed her I was "a
member Of tho Legislature. She be-
came cold as an iceberg, and inform
ed me that respectable boarding
houses didnot desire patronage from
Assemblymen or colored people.
She shut the door and 1 retired. I
sought another lady She was more
complacent, and she did not mind
boarding one or two Assemblymen,
provided they would pay in advance
or give security. Is this the way,
Mr.. Speaker, to treat the successors
of Solm ? fancy not But while
/ am downaon the people of Albany
as q community, have found some
individual exceptions, who deserve
the highest marks of my esteem. A
few weeks ago, a gentleman, loud
in praise Of the New Capitol, says
to me, quite in friendly way,
"Oakly, let's 60 to Peck's and get
some oysters. Oakly said in reply,
"Nothing would afford mo more
pleasure. We went to HPecks.
We ordered oysters, venison steaks,
green seal, and all that sort Of thing.
My friend left the rooms to obtain
some cigars-ffty cents piece. He
did not come back. He has not
come back yet. He left Oakly to
pay the whole bill, $17 and GO
ccnts !! You may laugh, gentle
men, but that is not the worst of it.
He got four fifty cent cigars and had
them to me also. alua - 1es# ,.lt
Last week j gave eight shirts out
to be washed. They came back in
the shape of five collars, four "dick-
ies'' and one corded skirt. Now
what do l want with a corded skirt?
I am not an old granny, like my
friend over there, who believes! the
Erie Canal has injured tho State,
nor am female, brother like Susan
Anthony,oor those other specimens
of unfeat thered poultry who cackle
at hen conventions. I do not want
the skirt.
A short time ago I visited the
Baptist church, one Of tho great
washing machines Of the city. An
elderly gentleman addressed the
Sabbath-school childred, and, point
ing at this building said: "My
young friends that's the Lunatic
Asylum, to which 12S crazy men are
sent every year to make, laws for
1000, 600 of gulls," | could stand
no more. I seized my hat and left
the edifce. I don't suppose l could
have carried it long if | had tried,
but 1 did not try. As / said before
I left the edifcc. But, while |
cannot and will not 60 much on the
red herring aristocracy Of Albany,
must be allowed to say that l have
received nothing but kindness from
the representatives Of Albany on
this Hoor. Robinson never smokes
a cigar without asking me to '.smell
it's favor" while Smith never sips
glass Of Madeira without saying,
"Oakly chew the oork-scrcw. -
Robinson and Smith are clever fel-
lows-so are Smith and Robinson,
They are both clever fellows, es-
pecially Smith and more particular