The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1867-11-14
Miscellaneous Items.

0SCc1l1O00US At0lmSs
Josh Billings says he don't care how
much man talks, if he says it in a few
words, Good idea for those who write
newspapers.
A Brooklyn paper announces the mar
rage of Miss Katharine Phuris and John
NJ. R. Schwine. We should think that
was literally casting pearls before swine.
Lowell says that the attempt to get
gold without earning it is chase that
brings some men 20 four-in-hand on
ShOddy avenue, and some to the peniten-
tiary.
An Iowa landlord took in ''weary
traveller the other night, who literally
''took up his bed aud walked for he
stole the feather bed and bedding upon
which he slept
A Virginia negro boy who protested
to be dreadfully alarmed at the cholera,
took to the woods to avoid it, and there
was found asleep. Being asked why he
The girls at Willimantic, CT, got to
kissing Sheridan, lately, and as the
train moved off one buxom lass failed to
reach his lips. SIT was miss said
the martial Phil, ''but a good line shot,
nevertheless. -
''We shall know what are necessaries
of life. y said = county grocer during Sc
we're storm, as no one will venture forth
to-day except to procure them" In the
evening he found that most of his sales
were yellow snuff and rum.
Some papers are contradicting the
statement that Mrs. Lincoln enticed a
waiting maid from the employ of the
wife Of Lord Lyons, the British Minister
at Washington. They say Lord Lyons
never was married, but everybodyrknows
there is Lady of Lyons.
A young man, not far from Portland,
Me-, was attending his sick father (who
was rigid Baptist and while rubbing
his fathers back, their pastor, who was
present, asked the son if he was not
bathing too hard mo, SIR replied
the son. she is hard shell Baptist"
A pert miss in Portland was reading
the parable of the wise and foolish vir-
gins, when she suddenly paused and be-
gan to laugh well, what did they for
geti' asked the teacher, encouragingly.
''They forgot their kerosene, promptly
responded Miss Five-year old
At the close of public performance
i'll Easton, Pa, few evenings ago, two
sprightly young men stationed themselves
at the door with umbrellas up, and await
ed the crowd. 1t was fine, clear eve
ming, but when the first person of the au-
dience had reached the door and seen the
warning umbrella, scores of hands were
thrust out, coats were buttoned closely,
and dresses taken up, while quite a num-
Der remained in the hall, refusing to come
out on account Of the rain. The sell
was complete.
Little Ella is about four years DID,
One day she committed an act of disobe
dience, and her mother, in correcting
her, spoke in no gentle tone of voice
the child threw her arms around her
mothers neck, and exclaimed: Dear
mamma pray forgive me If had known
how peevish it would have made you, [
wouldn't have done so. ~
IN Papa" said little girl one day, II
believe mamma loves you better'n she
does me- Papa held doubts on that
subject, but concluded it was not best to
deny the soft impeachment. She medi-
tated ,houghttuiy about it for some time
evidently constituting her fathers silence
as untavorable to her side, "Well," said
she at last, Il s pose its all right: you re
the biggest and it takes more to love
you.
Agassiz says the Florida reefs are sew
enty thousand years old. Wouldn't it be
safer sailing to take reef in those hg-
ureS?
RABBI Joshua once met boy who car
ried something in covered vessel. "My
boy" said the rabbi, what have you in
your covered vessel ?'' eff it was intend
ed for you to know, replied the boy, it
would not be covered.
At recent raiiroad celebration, the
following sentiment was given: "Our
mothers-the only faithful tenders who
never misplaced u switch.
Freshly cut timber contains about 40
pes cent. of liquids. In year season
ing it loses 20 per cent, and when thor
oughly seasoned still has III per cent.
'::The only liberty cap,' says a clever
and witty author, is night cap in it
men visit, one third of their lives, the
land of sleep-the only land where they
are always free and equal.
While couple of page boys, attached
to the constitutional convention at Albany
were engaged with four or five outside
boys In pulling hand-cart load of letters
and packages to the postofhce, the mem
Der from Clinton observed to them
well, boys, you are making horses of
yourselves, see. -
Yes promptly replied one Of the
outside boys, Milsian, ''and isn't it a
mighty sight better than making asses of
ourselves, as some of you are doing up
there?"
Clinton county moved ON.
The following conversation occurred
between graceless boy and his teacher
What does your father do when he sits
at the table, Far .Els
''He asks for the brandy bottle. -
IL don mean that. Well, then, what
does your mother do when you sit down
at the table ?"
''She says she will wiring our necks if
we spill any grease on the floor.
Recently the rare instance of burial
thirty years after death occurred at Der
lin, Prussia. The dead who fingered so
long above ground is Rachael Levy, the
celebrated beauty, authoress and wit, the
wife of the late Baron Won Varnhagen,
wei known as Prussian diplomatist and
writer OH contemporary history. Having
a mortal fear of being burr ed alive, the
lady ordered in her testam ent that the
upper part of her coffin should be made
with glass window, the coffin constantly
watched for mouth after death, and de-
posted in special hall for period of