The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1867-09-07
HaiScellanp.
Tale ola Sea serpent.

Tribune reporter re-tells in his own words, the
very funny Munchausen story Of Barney's broth
er Phelim. Barney" who is resurrected for the
occasion, is supposed to discourse as follows:
"You see me brother Phelim was a broth of a
boy; there was not his equal in the whole county
Of Killarney 1t was himself that was the devils
own brother-no allusion being made to me, by
that same token--and sure enuff he turned the
heads of all the girls il the county, and the men
around looked upon him as "gorsoon" that the
King of England himself might have carried
cakes to. 1t was himself that got into little
bit of throuble wild the boy that was after ms
sweetheart, and he made up his mind that ne
would come to America. Sure it was sorrow
tul parting that it was in the Ould mud cabin at
home He fell upon the neck Of his mother, and
he kissed Judy and the spalpeens OF all the
neighbors, and then he took his leave OF me-
"Good bye to We, Barney" says he to me, giving
me square that made me fist as soft Us roasted
apple. ''The blessing of Heaven go with you,
Phelim," saws l, and I gave him shake that
put his shoulder out of joint Phelim brushed
away tear from one of his eyes with the tail OF
his frieze coat, and away he started for Dublin,
where he found an ould acquaintance sake to
take him across the wather, for Phelim, you see,
not having the selling of the pig was by no
names full of money, and his pockets gasped ire
mendously at the mention of pay.
'Well, as! he tould me the story, they
were going along under good Roadway, one
morning, and had got about one hundred miles
from land, with spanking breeze in their stern.
when Tim, the boatswain's mate, all of a student
followed out: "a thoosand murthers.' 'Hol-
loa,' says the Captain, and what the devil Is the
row now" Row enough says Tim, your hon
or: bedad it is cause enough for a row. Shure
there's great sea serpent upon us in rale earn'st
WE'LL the Captain he looked, and Phelim he
looked, and sure enough there was the sarpent-
The head of him was cane over the ships bows,
and the tail of the craythur was tickling the rud-
der into fits, all at the same time. You may be
sure there was row, and the devil q soul aboard
the vessel but what ducked his head under the
hatches all except Pheim and Tim, the boat
SWANS mate, and he had heart as brave as ould
Nick himself He looked at the craythur awhile
and all at onct thought struck him right be-
tween the ewes and forninst the nose, and says he
to the Captain, Captain how much will you
give me to take ship aboard the crayther there,
and go over to America ahead of you, and tell
them you are on the road - "Oh," says the Cap
tain, it's bould boy you are, but you can't be
afther doing that, you know 4 WILL says
Phelim; if you give me your dispatches will
take them for you any day. and with that he
turns to the cabin boy and told him to fetch him
lot of bladders out of the jolly boat, which they
used in those times, do you see, on account of
lfe-preservers not having been invented. The
Captain he looked on wonderingly, but Phelim
was not bit down hearted. He took hold of
the bladders and commenced to tasten one to the
neck of the sarpint and another or two foot
further down, and kept advancing. fastening
bladder here and bladder there, till he came to
the end of the tail, where he put on the last
Then taking the dispatches under his arm, his
knife in his hand, and swinging keg of whiskey
over his shoulder. he jumped upon the back OF
the sarpnt, and stuck his knife up to the haft for
good hold.
We'll, If ever says the sarpnt, ard what are
We after ROW, Phelim, shGuld like to know
oh says Phelim, Il am just going to make
carrier boy of you TO take me over to America
''The sarpint shook his head and says he, you
may think you have got nae, but you will find
that have got you"
"Says Pheli1n, says he We may say that same
wild your own ugly mug, and We likely to
keep me longer than we have bargained for"
"Phelim took hold of fin and r,lIed out his
knife, and gave the craythur a prod with it in
about the region of the tail, and tould him to 60
along and let him have no more OF palaver and
the sarpint did as he was bid, and launched out
over the bows to the great relief of the Captain,
though not soul on board was there but what
pitied poor Phelirl, expecting that he was gone
to the bottom with the keg of whiskey, which
was valued all the more that it had never paid
guagers' duty.
"Well, they trudged along all night very con.
tentedly, and in the morning when the sun was
rising, Phelim looked behind him, and feand
that lie had lost sight of the ship and he began
to be hungry. So said the sarpint to Pheiim,
says he, Il would like bit of something to eat
l would like you to take bladder or two off and
let me 60 down so as to take my breakfast, win
be up in iilfy.' oh says Phelim, says he,
iS M oein oil hat oil
am just about taking my own break fast; and
with that he out with his knife, and whipped off
great big peice from the end of the sarpints
tail. to the no small surprise of the cray thur.
Well if ever says the sarpint, but you are
mighty free and aisy to be cutting of my tail
for your breakfast rsl1 a., pas. .,tr
Take bit of it. then SAYS Phelm, showing
peice into his mouth, "sure and it does not
matter much at what end you have it, and may
be you will think that enough to contint yer till
dinner time raaAtt-.-
"The sarpnt evidently thought as Phelim did.
that he had had about enough, and he said no
more but logged along until noon, when the sun
was blazing hot, and says he to Phelim,
'Bedad, it's mesef that's kilt intirely, sure Tn
half broiled with the hate cs- e. ~.
And many thanks to ye for the information,
says Phelim. I've been waitin' TO hear that
same tor the last two hours, and now honey sup
pose We take another snack together; our break.
fast was mighty good"
'oh. by no manner of names at all. at all :
says TIE sarpnt The last bit went against my
stomach intirely,'r
1eve mighty dainty stomach o yer own
thin says Phelim 'but may the ould boy take
nae II ieel inclined to be so particular Here
gees Tor 9nother cut, and il We cry shares its all
right know. don't wish to chate &c out Wv
yer males any way"
The, craythur hung down his head. He saw
that Pfelm had tie best of the aryymint and
tried ed little chaypening, lie began to talk tc