Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1867-12-27
NUMBER ss.n .


drink.
4 rate mind Mind sour own busi-
hess.
Horace Greeley says he never saw a
game OF billiards played.
Editor-A poor wretch who empties
his brain in order to iii his stomach.
Jury Twelve prisoners in box, to
/ try nife ut the bar.
Author--A dealer In words, who of.
ten gets paid In bis own coin.
,Policernan-A man employed by the
corporation TO sleep in Tire open air.
Doctor--A man who kills ryou- to-
day, to save you from dying tolmor.
row. ts9S} w&
UentIst- Une who Rnds work for his
own teeth, by taking out those ofothef
people. 3f @ t
NY dear---an expression used by man
and wife az the commeneefnent Of
quarrel. bsas fslo
Prize fights have one redeeming quail
ity, viz: some very bad characters get
Very soundly whipped. 1a
Why il lonfer In. n i,e@staper office
like q shadt tree? Because we are glad
when he leaves.
ID A Newspaper--A law for the indol-
ent. sermon Tor the thoughtful, a u
brary for the poor.
| Lawyer-A learned gentleman who
resc,ies your estate from your enemy,
81 tn he can appropriate 1t to him
self. a sa aa. ss u&as1t
Edwin r. Chdpin sdys we should not
ask a young man IL he has gone thrlo
college, but II college has gotie through
him. f+,
Boston has Young Womans Christ
ian Assoclation which has established
a home for young women, aud Is doing
a good work 18.E A
A. r. Stewards adles in his New
York house for three VI ars have amoun
tied to two hundred and thres millions
of dollars. si Haaf iagIs08
A Chicago divorce case rests on the
com piaint of u lady that her husband
made her get up In the middle Of the
night and make the bed over.ase snfst
10 has becone Hrrtiiy established
truth that the truest barometer hy
which society tan recognize a ynung
mans moral worth. Is his habit or non
habit ofgoing TO church. on tile Sabbath
day. saas f@r Ai taE sFatl ta3
"Madarii, at what price, per yard do
you sell this broadcloth ?" asked Will
liam of q fair miss. "Five dollars sir.n
| You're q little dear.n Yes replied
the blushing. maiden, $50 all young
men tell ME-" -
Dickens Ii said 10 have got his eve on
several individuals In Bpstpti which hc
, Ia To weave into n story he IA NJ present
engaged iipon for the Atlantic Month
lily. He will also impale few speei-
mems for another story he IL writing for
home publication.
) A Leavenworth paper has CORES
/ pondefit who Is OPT Used TO universal
/ suffrage. Here is his argument fs#9
ElaW q Kilapor, nov. the "a 1867.
Dere Sur.--wiI n yati plexe inform mo
weather nigVlr suphrage was carried
al the late eleckshun. Ifsech ignorant
/, people is goin To voat want to hace
this God fursakin Stait, and 20 hack 10
Suthern Ilinoy. yours trooly.
ii An Englishmun and Yankee were
: disputing. when the former sneerlnply y
= remarked: si. ~ gts#ats 1850
4 "Fortunately, the Americans can 60
2 mo farther than the Pacific shore - fssI
I The Yankee scratched his prolific
I brain for an instant and thus replied:
{ tf4''Why good graeious! They are AL
: ready dwelling the Rocky Mountains
and earting thcgdrt out west. / had 4
letter last week fron my cousin. wlso ls
: living two hundred miles west of the
: Pacific shore, of made iandp' aHf -