Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1867-03-27
Dua,orous BsaSing.
The Unclad Horsemaa.
BY MAJOR JONES.

Widowers should look out for breakers.
Absalom Nippers was widower, and
one of the mos. particular men, perhaps,
that ever lived, though some people said
that when his wife was alive he used to
dress as common field hand, and didn't
use to take any pains with himself at all.
Every body knows how he spruced up
about six weeks after Mrs. Nippers died,
and how he went to church regular every
Sunday; but they didn't have no conf
dence in his religion, and used to say ne
only went to church to show his new suit
of mourning. and to ogle the gals.
With such q character among the VIM
min, it amt to be supposed thas he stood
any chance Of getting another Mrs. Nip
psrs near home; and whether he was as
bad to his first wife as they said he was,
or not, one thing was certain; he had to
look abroad for some one to fill her place.
Mr.. Nippers was very lucky in finding
8 gal just to his mind, what lived about
ten miles from his plantation. Nancy
Parker was rich, and thoagh she wasn't
very young nor very handsome, she be-
longed to Mr.. Nippers' church, and filled
his eye exactly 50 he So in courtin' her
with all his might. Ten miles was good
long ride, and rs he was an economical
man, ne used to ride over to Mrs Parker'S
plantation every Sunday morning to 60
TO church with the family, take dinner
with them, and ride back in the cool Of
the evening In that way he managed
to kill two birds with one stone: that is,
to advance the prospect of happiness on
this earth and in the world to come at the
same time, without losing any of his
weekday time.
A ride over dusty road is apt to soil
agen,!emans dry goods, and make him and
his horse very tired. However, Mr.. Nip
pers didn't mind the fatigue as much as
his horse; but in IL Mater such as he had
in hand, it was very important that he
should make as good all impression as
possible SO he adopted Il plan by which
he was able tc>prrseat himself before the
object Of his affections, in order, with his
Sunday coat as clean, and his blooming
rnfleS q. fresh and nea, as if they had
jH>t come out OF u band-box. This was
happy expedient, and nobody but
widower .over would think of it. He
used to start from home with his new
coat and shirt tied up in q pocket hand
kerchiet, and after riding within quarter
of mile of Mrs, Parkers plantation, he
W w,uld turn off into thicket of chinka-
pin bushes, and there make his rural toll
ct. Onc bright Sunday morning Mr..
Nippers had arrived at his dressin' ground.
l5 was IN important occasion. Every
thing was promisin', and he had made up
his mind to pop the question that very
day. There was no doubt in his mind
that he would return home an engaged
man; and he was reckonin' over to him
self the value of Miss Nancy's plantation
and niggers, while he was settiu' on his
horse maxim his accustomed change Of
dress. He had dropped the reins on his
horses neck, what was browsin' about,
making up his last nights scanty feed
from the bushes in his reach, and kickin'
and stampin' at such flies as was ftedin'
o. him in return.
'I'll fix the business this time," ses Mr..
Nippers to himself "l'll bring things to
pint this time," ses he, and he united hio
handkerchief with his clean clothes, and
he spread them on mis- saddle-bow.
"Wo, Ball." ses he" Pve just got to
say the word, and-wo!" ses he to his
horse, what was kickin' and rearin' about.
Wo: you old tool and the business
is settled jist like fallin' off log"
He was drawn' his shirt over his head,
when Ball gave a sudden spring what like
to made him lose his balance. "Wo,"
ses he-but before he could get out Of
the sleeves, Ball was wheeln' and kickn'
like wrath at something that seemed to
trouble him behind Down went the clean
clothes, shirt and all, on the ground.
"Wo! Blast yer pictur-wo now" ses.
Mr.. Nippers, grabbin' at the reins. But
before he could get hold of EN-, Ball was
Off like streak of lghtnin', with whole
swarm of yellow jackets round his tail
Mr.. Nippers grabbed hold of the name
and tried to stop his horse, but, but it was
no use. Away went the infuriated Ball,
and takin' the road he was used to travel
lin another moment brought him TO the
house. The gate was open, and in dashed
the horse with the almost naked Nppers
hangn' to his neck holerin', Stop him!
hornets!" as loud as he could scream.
On came the dogs, and after the horse
they went round the house, scatterin' the
ducks and chickens, and terrifyin' the lit
tie niggers out of their senses. The noise
bruns the wimmin to the door,
"Don't look, Miss Nancy hornets
Wo ketch him." shouted the unclad
Nippers, as, with spent breath, he went
dancin' out of the gate agin, with the
dogs still after him, and his horses tail
switchin' in every direction like young
hurricane. Miss Nancy got one glimpse
of her forlorn lover, and before she could
get her apron to her eyes. she tainted at
the awful sight, whilst his fast reccdin'
voice cryin' "Hornets stop him nor
nets !" still rang in her ears,-N. O. Pic.
The SchOOlmaSter'S Promise.
A correspondent tells the following an