Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1867-05-30

"By proxy!" screamed Jerusha. -
thought only kings did that, ana tney Only
in the old times" (Jerusha mas peen rea..'
ing history lately. | saw Aun1 Ciafa peop
ing into her book this morning. an
"a cat NAV look upon a KING, anu an
4 ,oar;can sovereign of the female gen.
der"
{. We'll If a feminine is not female, Ia
like to know why"
"But a table is feminine" said Je~ o,o
"Is it?" "'n'
eyes, in the Latin"
"Oh!" said Aunt Clara
peeping in Jerusha's gray one iau peen 1
winked at me as she spaS nid da, ,TU, anu do
tected her, and said., &C. 'oi uSl" oe'
vour nroxies and yo. hg fun of me with
She had stolem : Dir genders."
Irndar noHer 81 :, march on both of us.
, no. Io .k;,,ns ibis historical and gram
har rei;o 800 ar ssh she had withdrawn all
h',.ao,, 40 id click went the key in the
ou a CO.. UT .wer. te
o,, e, children, your mother wants
20, said Aunt Clara, after this mastery
to.n ement of her stores And she settled
= rself in her easy chair with as much OF
would convey. ga.e
"No, aunty, we're not going till you tell
us how you married by proxy"
body's words! One can't speak before
you" Here she dropped a stitch in her
knitting, and after suitable time spent in
getting fair start again, she continued.
They say marriages are made in heaven /;
and L shall find my husband there if I get
| there myself, hope. l lent him to a mu-
tual friend, and she had the use of him in
this world as long as she lived. That pic
| ture was his portrait. He was pledged to
| me, and to him. I need not tell you all
the circumstances of the courtship-"
"Oh yes, aunty, do ~
No, they have always come to the same
thing, from the beginning of time, and you
will find out soon enough. Well. He"
"0Who?"
"He," said Aunt Clara, "and that's as
near as you'll ever come to has name Well,
He offended me very much once-that is, l
let on to be offended, and was sharp with
him--too sharp"
$50 you lost him?"
"No, / married him by proxy. Just
then She came to live in the neighbor-
hood"
"Who?"
"Why She," said Aunt Clara. "He and
She will do just as we'll to talk about, as
M, and N. in the Marriage Service and
are better understood. He is of the male,
and She of the female gender"
Jerusha's lips parted But she saw the
twinkle in Aunt Clara's eyes, and spared
us the lecture on grammar,
"They were to be married in about a
week. There came knock at our door
one evening, and who should it be but He |!
And He had the assurance to walk into the
parlor and ask for me Your father was
dreadful angry, and offered to go in and
send him away. said could manage my
own matters In l went, and He said
great many things, like great baby who
did not know his own mind. | had him
then, and was really ashamed of human
nature in the male gender No woman
can ever be as foolish as the men are. | |
might have made him liable to breach-of
promise suit. But wouldn't, and 1 didn't.
| had been town-talk once and lived through |
it, and was afraid to try it again. and |
if l hadp't been afraid So they
were married. Inevei knew what relation |
She was to me till looked in your history. |
She was my proxy. He married her. but |
he loved me. If there was any satifaction |
in that it was NINE He wouldn't take |
back that picture. So kept it, and it has
been quite harmless, which more than all |
husbands turn out to be. He failed in bust
you like that p"
Ibid you ask him ?" said Jerusha.
Lawful sakes, child, but you are matter
of-fact Well says I, my proxy, how
does it please you?' l don't think I was
guste glad of it; but it certainly did not
pinch me near SO hard by proxy as it would
have done if had been ashamed to wear
my NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. furs and furbelows
to meeting as She was. But there; men
are like cats, and He was on his feet direct.
ly. 1 was not quite sorry and, on the
whole, concluded that these experiences
were just as well gone though with at Sec
ond- hand.
pretty soon there came to me other
He's, offering their hearts and their hands
But had about concluded that mems hearts
are nowhere, and their hands are amazing
slippery. No, I thank you, thought !; "a
burnt child breads the fire, and / see how
things are working by proxy So you
know, girls, how you came to have maid
EN- aunt. kind of felt as though it would
have been bigamy in me to marry while
had another husband, though he was lent
out " ~
"By-and-by, my child was born by
is, the child that would have
been my owny downy, only for the acct
lent of sharp word or so. felt won
1erful deal OF interest in that baby. liked
'o'look at her dearly; and may honestly
say loved her, though l never touched
her nor spoke a word to her in my life ,
Distance lends enchantment to the view,
specially when it is babies that you are ;
ooking at. l had all the comfort and none !
If the trouble.
"They had many ups and downs, He and
She, and all the usual family dispensations :
measles, scarlet-fever, chicken pox, scarlet :
ma, vaccination, teething, and Godfrey's
,ordial. / had only to look at them at a :
istance, and to say to myself, Well, Miss,
rent you glad that you are Miss still, and
we're never misled into MRS.? 1t is won
erful how easy body can take things
hat happen to other people"
/" should have been so anad" said Jeru- !
IA, "that never would have looked at
or Y>nl m