The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1867-08-29
THE SETTIB'G HE.F'.

thy, helping himself to large piece OF
cheese Il reckon 1 can stand 1t as
long as she can
Il do wish you would try ana be lit
tie more equenomical to cheese limo.
thy I've cut the very last of my every
day lot, and it's only the first of May.
And now as soon as you've done eatin
go out and break up that hen.
She's setting on an old AK and two
bricks now
Il hope she'll hatch EN- returned
Timothy.
If she was set now, she'd hatch the
fourth week in May, It's bad sign ;
something alters happen arter it. Stop
giggling, Helen Maria by the time you
get to be as old as yer ma, you'll see fur,
ther than you do now. There was Jen
kins' folks their gray top-not hatched
the last of May, and Mrs. Jenkins, she
had the conjunction on the lungs, and
would have died If they hadn't killed a
lamb and wrapped her in the hide while
it was warm. That was all that saved
her.
With such a startling proof of the
truth of the omen before him, Timothy
flushed his breakfast in haste and de.
parted for The barn, from which he soon
returned, bearing the squalling biddy
BY the legs.
'What shall I do with her, mother d?
She'll get on again, and she's cross as
bedlam-she skinned my hands, and
would be the death of me if she could
get loose ~
1--WE heern it said that it was a good
plan to throw 'em up in the air. said
MIS-. Hays. Aunt Peggy broke one Of
settin only three times tryin. 'Sposs'n
you try it,
up she goes, head or tail = cried
Tim, as he tossed the volcano skyward.
Land o'massy,' exclaimed Mrs. Hays
{ she's coming down in the pan of bread
that l set out on the great rock to rise .
Tim, it's strange that you can't do moth.
ing without OVERRIDING it.
'Down with the traitors, up with the
stars sang out Tim, clevating biddy
again with something less than a pint Of
batter hanging to her feet.
Good gracious me, wuss and wuss,'
cried Mrs. Hays, and Tim agreed with
her, for the hen had come down on the
we'll polished tile of Esquire Bennett,
who happened to be passing, and the
dignifed old gentleman was the father
of Cynthia Bennett, The young lady with
whom Tim was seriously enamored.
The squire loo ked daggers, brushed
off the dough with his handkerchief,
and strobe on in silence.
'Yes, but it's going up again. said
Tim, spitelully seizins tie clucking bid
dy and toss ing her at random IN the air.
Biddy thought it was best to manifest
her individuality, and with loud
scream she dartcd against the parlor
window, broke through, knocked down
the canary cage, and landed plump in
the silken lap of Mrs. Gray, who was
boarding at the farm house.
Mrs. Gray screamed with horror, and
starting up, dislodged biddy, who flew
at her reflection in the looking glass
with an angry hiss. The glass was shat
tered and down came the hen, astonish.
ed beyond measure, against a vase of
flowers, which upset, and IN falling,
Knocked over the stand-dish and delu-
ged with water a pair of drab colored
velvet slippers, which Helen Maria was
embroidering for her lover, Mr.. James
Hcushaw.
Helen entered the room just as the
mischief had been done, and viewing the
ruin she at once laid it to her brother
Timothy. Heard his step behind her,
and the unfortunate hen she flung full
in her face. There was a smothered
oath, and the hen come back with the
force of a forty pound shot. Helen was
mad. Her eyes were nearly put out
with the feathery dust dough, and she
went at Timothy with true feminine zeal,
She broke his watch guard in dozen
pieces, crushed his dieky, and began to
pull his whiskers out by the roots. But
when she came to look closer she per,
ceivcd that the man she had nearly an
initiated was not Timothy, but James
Henshaw. Poor Helen hurst into tears
and fled into her chamber, the usual re-
sort for heroincs; and James, after wash.
ing himself at tho the kitchen sink went
home, sternly resolved never TO marry
woman with such temper as Helen
Hays had.
The hen, meanwhile, who is the hero.
inc, returned to the barn to establish
herself on the ruin of her nest, deter,
mined to set in the heavens fell. Mrs.
Hays soon discovered her, and having
heard that dipping in water would cure
brocdness. she set forth for the brook
with the fowl in her apron Mrs. Weav.
er, an old lady oE very quarrelsomc tenn
permanent, who resided near, was at
swords point with Mrs. Hays, was Just
coming to the brook for a pail of water,
and spiea the yellow head Of the bird
peeping out from Mrs. Hays apron