The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1867-08-15

Posi- OFFIs, CoNFEDRIT x ROADS, |
(Which is in the Stait NV Kentucky,) J
July %, 1867.
The speculashen in wool, into which
the Dimocrisy NV the South embark
some months ago, hez regret to say,
resulted disastrousIy. The nigger amt
fitted for co-operashun with the Dim,
ocrisy. Instid nv hangin onto us like
the ivy onto the oak, he diskiyered
that, i'll the South at least, he was re-
ally the oak and we the ivy; instid Nv
lookin up to us, he contracted disa-
greeable habit NV lookin down onto US.
There wuz other reasons why he Good
ent be made available for our uses, and
therefore it was decided to 90 back onto
the Atrikin, and to agin attempt his re-
duckshen to ez near his normal speer
ez the abnormal condishn NV the times
wood admit. The directors NV the COL
lege met and changed the name of the
lnsttooshn back to the Southern Mil
itary & Classikle Institoot," and the
Corners wuz itself again.
Deekin Pogram lookt ez tho ten
years he'd bin lifted off him. ''How
pleasant 'tis," sed he, ito walk erect
agin in front NV niger, and to pass
EN- ez though they wuz niggcrs. Oh
eft l Good only wollop one wonst more,
metl inks | Good die happy"
We he'd a meetin last night to con-
slider this niger question, wich wood
hev resultid in great good and he'd a
powerful influence towards strengthenin
the hands NV our brethren in the North,
who are fghtin the heresy NV nigger
suffrage, he'd it not bin for that irrita-
shen, Pollock, and that pest, Joe Big
Ier. | he'd made my reglar speech on
the nigger and with much effect.
he'd quoted from sumboddy's quotashen
from Agassiz, which demonstrated the
radicle difference there is atween the
Afrikin and the proud Caucashen; ar
guin from the length Nv his heel and
arm; the thickness NV the skull and so
forth, that the Digger wuz totally unfit
to exercise the rites NV free men,
wuz applauded vociferous and by none
more than Pollock and Joe Bigler. Ez
| took my seat and wuz wipen the per-
spiration from my classikle brow, feeIn
that | he'd settled that question, Pollock
riz ard desired to say a few words, and
make a suggestion. Sed he:
II hev listened with interest to the
elokent 8peeker, and am happy to say l
hev learned fax wich is new to me. Ef
| hey ever doubted the inferority NV
the nigger, them doubts are removed,
pcrvidin, alluz, that the statements NV
the speekcr is troo, nv which l hey no
doubt, ez the character of the speeker
is sufficient guarantee Nv the trooth NV
whichever he sez."
/ bowed stately-like, with the air NV
one to whom sich compliments wuz an
every day affair, wich they aint by no
means-on the contrary quite the re-
verse.
"But l want it demonstrated to the
satisfaction NV the most obtoose-I
want rite here q measurement NV the
average Airikin and the average white
man, that all the world may know the
difference. move that it be did"
acceded. "Let it be DONE" sed |,
THAT the vexed question may be set
tied forever"
Sevral niggers were askt to submit to
the measurement, but all refused. FL
nally Joe Bigler sed he saw Napoleon
Johnson, niger, wich wunst belong
ed to Deekin Pogram, in the audience
Napoleon, sed he, "will yoo contribit
yoorself to the great science NV etholo-
gy? Aint yoo willln to let us yoos you
awhile to demonstrate the crate and
GROWN trooth that yoor grandfather
wuz monkey? Step up, Napoleon"
Napoleon, nothin dasht, slept up,
aud Pollock, Bascom, Bigler and l
measured him. with the folIoWin result .