Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1867-06-07

snort sermons, especially on hot SUN
day. Ii q man kant strike lie in boring
forty minutes, he has either got poor
gimiet or he Is boring In the wrong
place."
The story Of q lazy schoolboy who
spelled Andrew Jackson, &ru Jaxn,
has been overshadowed by genius out
West, who wished to mark half dozen
shirts. He marked the first one John
Jones and the rest ditto. 1sT
"How long will your people listen
with fntcrestf" said a strange preacher
to q pastor. II have never tried them,
and would advise YOU not to- was the
reply. If your sermon is good, don't
spoil 10 by overgorging. If 1t Is poor,
they will want still less of It.
A Western soldier, who had been
through all the campaigns and shared
in many of the fiercest battles of tho
war, writes from his home that she
never realized the horror of war till he
got home to Indiana and found his Ral
married to stay-at-home dry goods
A young gentleman who was at one
time very much smitten with a pretty
little 'Friend,n said that in his travels
through the West Indies he often felt
some very severe shocks from earth
quakes, but they were not circum-
stance when compared with those ex-
perienced from this little earth-quaker.
Mamma said the youngest son.
In q shrill voice, that attracted the Mt
tention of all present.
/" Well my dear, what is ita" replied
the fond mother.
at want to know what was your
opinion of me when you first saw me p,
The question gave a sudden turn TO
the conve rsation. a8. Ia8
A certain member of Congress from
one of the Western States was speaking
one day on some important question.
during which sat brother members,
his opponent on the question, smiling
Iy. This annoyed him very much, and
he Indignantly demanded why the
member from ------ was laughing ut
him.
81 was smiling at your manner Of
making monkey faces, sir" was tho
10, make monkey faces, do i?
Well, sir, you have no occasion to try
the experiment, for nature has saved
you the trouble!' aaa
The hammer was heard, amid roar
of laughter.
A funny matrimonial affair recently
occurred near Spirit Lake, MINI. A
green justice married three couples In
one batch, and about four weeks after
ward discovered that license from the
Clerk OF the Court was necessary to
make the ceremony legal, and he lost
N In Inf isaes .s4s ~
they were still single, though they had
lived together the intervening time.
The first couple were willing to risk the
consequences !; the second consented to
be remarked; while the third, having
discovered In each other divers and
sundry shortcomings, refused to have
the knot re-tied. being satisfied with
one month Of matrimony, and glad To
revert to single blessedness. Il
A Methodist preacher Of a large mus
cular frame, and large hand, with a
powerful grip, some years ago was
holding q protractcd meeting, In v hich
quite an Interest was awakened. Al
number of persons had come to the
anxious seat, and q few had been con-
verted. A group, consisting of two or
three young men and ns many young
ladies, were present whose object lii
coming was to have merriment. The
minister kindly requested them to OBJ
serve the decorum befitting the place,
One Of them venturcd, In a rather un-
gracious manner, to reply that they had
understood that miracles were worked
there" and had come to see some per-
formed. Upon this our robust friend
coolly took the young man by the coat
collar, Deliberately led him down the
aisle. and, opening the door, without
ceremony landed him out side, quietly
remarking, I'VE do not work miracles
here, but zoe cast out dcviis.n Isl !.