The weekly North-Carolina standard. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 186?-1869, 1867-08-21
From the Toledo Blade.
Nasty.


A CONSULTATIONS AT THE CORNERS FOLLOW
ED BY ADREAd, IN WHICH GEN. GRANT AND
OTHER NDTvIDUALs ARE MIXED, WITH NO
REGARD WHATEVER FOR TIME, PLACE OR
FITNESS.
PosT OFFS CONFEDERATE x ROADS,
(Which is in the Staff NV Kentucky,)
Aug. 1, 1857.
Last mite there wuz q convocashen Nv the
saints connected with the Institoot (uv wich
Deekin Pogram is the cheefest and lovelIest.
amoung ten thousand) to take sweet counsel
together onto sevral matters connected With
the institooshen of learnin, the success Nv
witch is so dear to all Nv us. The conversa-
shen happenin to turn upon the conferrin nv
honorary degrees, Deekin Pogram sed that
he had a suggestion to make. He he'd no.
fist that all the leadin colleges nv the coun-
try had practis NV conferrin titles, such ez
I'D. NJ" pa. B., y" LII. d." and SIGH onto
distinguished men, tho he wuz free to say
that he didn't know wat in thunder they
meant, or wat they wuz good for. But he
he'd notist noosepaper that no college he'd
yet conferred any SIGH sin onto Andrew
johnson. Considerin it burnin shame, he
wood seiest that ez rebook to the hide
bound instooshens NV the North this college
do to-wunst confer all NV EN-, and ez many
more ez ther is, onto Mr.. johnson. Bascom
remarkt that he didn't know whether the
President wood feel complimentid "Yoo
know, Deekin," sed he, sthat this anti
much Nv college!"
"Troo,n sed the blessid old peace Nv in
nosence, stoo true, but then, to balance that,
johnson amt much Nv President, 700
knowr"
And so the honrary degrees was conferred,
and notice thereof wuz sent him immejitly.
From this the question Nv the next nomi-
nee Nv the party for President came up
Bascom, who isn't a far-seein man, asserted
that it wood be necessary to nominate Grant.
The Dcekin remarkt that he tho't it would
be safe, but McPelter tho't different He
didn't bleeye in the first place that it be-
come Peace party, or at least Il party witch,
eff it dipped its hands in gore at all did it
mostly in Northern gore, to take up
Northern General witch had dun its best to-
ward sendin many thousands of Southners
to their long homes, and besides the General
wouldn't take it.
Bascom wanted to know wat the con-
ference at Long Branch meant2 EfGeneral
Grant wus in the control NV Weed, RAYMOND
and the Moo York Herald, witch was ekal to
the World, the Flesh and the Devil, he felt
that he he'd trooly found the broad Macadam-
lied road to Democrisy. He begun to hev
hopes NV him. Various opinions wuz ex-
pressed by various persons. when, without
comm to any conclusion we separated. l
rotiro1 fbaf nit fbo,
mind dwellin on the chances Nv my con-
tinuin in offs in case nv Grants accession. l
fell into troubled sleep, and dreamed
dream.
Methawt gathered in front NV the White
House wuz gallant array Nv our friends.
There was Franklin Peerce and Bookanan,
and Vallandlgum, and the Woods, and
Magofhn, and Monroe, and Brite, and
Breckenridge, and the leaders NV the
Democrisy, all standln Their lookin wish
fully at the White House, and wonderin how
and by what means they Good git in
johnson, blessins on his head, stood orto
the portico wayin to EN- to come; but, alass
guardin the passage stood a mighty host of
Ablshnists, armed and clad in armor, and
in such force ez to make the stormin Nv it
hopelis.
How shall We get in ~ sighed Belmont.
"Ahl indeed, how ?" ansered Henry
Clay Dean.
That's the great neral question-how ~
ekoed Ben Wood
"My frend!n sed Thurlew Weed, sits
easy enuff. When you can't sore like the
eagle, crawl like the snake. Sorein is pre-
ferable, but crawlin will do at pinch. Is
ther not the Lion of the Republic2 Can't
700 get him out and mount him The
Ablishnists hev a regard for that same Lion,
and will never discharge ther arrers at 700
when yoor on his back, for fear NV killing
him. Besides, yoor ridin him will in some
degree do away with the prejoodis they hey
agin yoo."
But how kin we mount him ~ said
they.
Trust us for that" SAID Wood, and him
and Raymond trotted off to get him.
They got the Lion out, but ez soon ez he
cast his eyes onto the crowd he uttered a
roar witch struck terror into their soles. and
lashed the ground with his tail, and cast up
dust with his claws in manner fearful to
behold
Hell never stand It'll" said Weed.
"onless he's blind-folded," and Thurlow
wrapped Raymond like wet dish-rag over
his eyes, and that done, him and RAYMOND
pared his nails and blunted his teeth, so
that eff the bandage shood wriggle off and
he shood see where he wuz he coodent hurt
anybody, and shaved his name, till he looked
like very innocent Lion indeed, so that his
appearance woodent startle them not used
to his fercenis, and in that condishn thew
1p6 him varv xy,1iafIu 1oxu, 10 fbo o,o,rl
give the word to mount
Lord what a scramble ther wuz. They
piled on from the tip NV his ears to the end
Nv his tail, and them witch coodent git on
for lack Nv room hung to the feet NV them
witch he'd got on, until it wuz nothin less
than pyramid nv Democrats.
Finally, when all wuz loaded, the word
wuz given, and the lion moved off. They
wuz delited. He he'd strength enuff to
carry EN-, and he wuz carryin nv EN-
straight on to the White House, and at q
good pace, too. Ez they approached the
portals the Ablishin defenders NV the place
opened onto en-.
Hold" sed Weed, "wood yoo destroy
the Lion Nv the Republic2"
Stay yoor hands!" shreeked Raymond
the savior Nv the country Is under u.s.
But they lafft them to skorn.
Its Brite and Valandigum, the Woods,
ct settry. we're frin at" shreekt they, sing-.
ing as they, fought, THE Battle Cry Nv
Freedom" "John Browns body lies a
mouldrin in the grave !" and slch other
sacrlligious odes. Its them we see, and
them we'll kill"
And they blazed away till the whole mass
wuz stretched dead and dyin on the plain.
Then they came up and began to turn
over the corpses, one by one, until at last
they came to the body NV the Lion, wich,
.peerced thro and thro, was as dead as anv NV