Des Arc weekly citizen., 1867-09-21

night.
 essA X young Indy at Long Branch is reported as 'elothcd in lauging eyes and bewitching smile" Light gear that. I41gt ats1r f nH
 s5r Why is ,te horse the most fu- mane Of all animals? He gives the bit out of his mouth and listens to every woe.
 s@ss Bashfulness is moro frequently connected with what we call good sense; and impotence, on the other hand, is often the effect of downright stupidity.
 Rs5T An Irishman, on observing a beautiful cemetery remarked that he considered 1t healthy place to be bu- ried in.
 B@y-g Copy of a sign upon all academy out west: Ffeemen X Huggs-Free- men teaches the boys and Hnggs u,e girls. Essa
 sss A sensitive lady from the coun-e try, looking for coach Pray, sir, are you engaged ?
 Cabman--'0eh, bless your purty soul. ma am, have been married these sev- cn years and have nine children.
 rz5~ Well, farmer, you told us your woods was good place for hunting. Now we have tramped through it for three hours, and found no game. Just so: as general thing, tho less game there is; the more hunting you have'
 s- Job printing.H exclaimed alt old lady the other day. as she peesed over her spectacles at the advertising page ofa country paper Poor Job. they've kept him printing week after week ever since first learnt to read; and if he wasn't the most patientesp man that ever was he never could have stood it so long, no how.
 c~ \ bashful young man escorted m equally basliful young lady. As they approached tho dwelling of the damsel she said cntreatingly, 'Zekial, don't tell anybody you bcau'd me home.' .sary,' said lie emphatically. don't you mind? I am as much ashamed ofita you arc.
 lsa If there is anybody under tho canister of heaven that hato in utter excrescence,' says Mrs. Burlington, -it is ike slanderer, going about like boy constructor, circulating his ealomel upon honest folks
 I1a- At a religious mentfng in Con necticut, one of the brethren sgavc. the experience of himself and family. say ing, among other things. that his first wife was very good woman, but she sickened and died in . linppy frame of mind, and he should be rcjoiced if his present partner would go just the same way.
 - One of the best double puns NJ haveseyer heard was pcrpctrated by n clergyman. He had just united in marriage. q couple whose Christian names were respectively Benjamin and Ann. 8g fo a ohe 8
 "How did they apyear during the ceremony ?'inquired a friend.
 "They appeared both AsNlE-MArEp and pESNIE-FITTEp," was the ready reply.
 - Profane swearing never did any man any good. No man is the richer or happier or. wiser for it. It com mends no one to any society. It is disgusting to the refined; aboininablc to the good; insulting to those with whom We associatc; degrading to the mind; unprofltable, needless, and in- furious to society.
 - Judge Breckenridge used to re- late the following :--I once had Vir- ginia lawyer object to an exprcssionin one of the Acts of the Assembly of Pennsylvania which read, 'That tho State House yard in the city of Phila- delphia should be surrounded by brick wall, and remain an open en- closure forever But put him down by citing one of the Acts of the Legis1. lature of his own State, which is elti- tied, 'a supplement to an Act entitled aa Act making it penal to alter the mark of ali unmarked hog ' We have read many amusing specimens of soldier wit during the war, but as good as we have seen was the reply of a Virginia eavalryman to North Carolina infantryman. It was lS63--a cold, bright morning, while the troops were lying along the road waiting for obstacles to be removed in front--a fellow came jogging down the line on an old fleebitten frame of a horse. As he passed, one chap greet, ed him with, T say, mistur, yeou are mity like q biuther uv raine tho hogs etc up.n The cayalryinan did not re- lax a muscle, but gazing Tar Heel stsaightin the face, replied, '.sFai my friend, lis | monstrous pity th8t lie hadn't fnished the family, while tna war a catin X aad moved on amid shouts Of laughter.
 The New Bedford Mass Mercury tells, queer story about resident of that place- vhosc wife died befare receiving an expensive set of iAlse teeth that were be- ing made for her The afflicted husband was unwilling to pay T full price for tho useless. but offered sc compromise by paY-