The Manitowoc tribune. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1866-1878, 1867-09-12
INSTANTANEOUS ITEMS.

! The present style of bonnet might be
called, with equal propriety, kiss if-you-
! want-to.
A lady was telling young man of a
child few weeks old whose grandmother
| was only thirty eight years old. The
young man replied that that was nothing.
He knew a young lady whose grandchil
dren were not born yet.
A young man in Iowa, who inherited
more money than brains, proposing him
self to lady Of discernment, gave as a
reference the published income returns,
to which She promptly but coidly replied,
declining to take the paper.
My wife tells the truth three times a
day, remarked jocose old fellow, at
the same time casting a mischeyousg glance
at her. Before rising in the morning
she says: sOh, dear, | must gel up,
but | don't want top After breakfast
she adds well, [ suppose | must 90
to work, but | don t want to y and she
goes togbed. saying: There! | have
been working all day, and haven't done
anything =
At Z: party in a certain town recently,
the same lass, Being chilly, the fair
maiden wore large shawl. While sit
ting IN the back part of the room, with
one OF the lovers above mentioned on
either side, each of her lovers concluded
to slip his hand under the shawl and try
what effect squeezing her hard would
have. he went to1 it and succeeded.
Great day, how happy he was! He
squeezed and she squeezed apparently.
He felt glorious all over, and she evident
ly felt glorious too. After quite joyful
time spent in this way, the lady threw
back her shawl, and revealed to little
crowd standing near, our two youths
squeezing one another's hands most low
ingly. 1t don't do to say squeeze to
either Of them since.
A French journal tells a little story
about lady, or rather she is made to tell
it about herself: when [ was first
married L was on my knees before nv
husband from morning till night 1t
was perpetual alteration, an incessant
deiirlum, an lnexpressible bliss, show
cred caresses upon him; I could have
eaten him" And now?'' asked
friend. I'm sorry | didn't
There is nothing which tends more to
mar the fellcities of married life, than
r klessn ess or want Of knowledge In the
nousekeeper. Mothers who study the
welfare CT their daughters, will not fail
to instruct them in qualifications of mar
rled life; and daughters that, appreciate
the value OF these qualifications will no.
fall to acquire them.
A lady in Cincinnati having lost tooth
extracted similar one from a negro girl,
had it placed III her own mouth, and as
slmllatlng it became as useful as any of
the Others. The amiability of the girl
and the ingenuity of the white woman
are considered worthy of admiration. y 2
How many young men are carried
away by a line. musical, charming. voice
"a pretty lightfooted, reeling, ballroom
dancer-a lazy, ioungl ng, street EARNING
tlirt-an oily tongued, hollow hearted,
deceptive piano FOUNDER, and regret their
folly when alas too late.
A couple waited on clergyman to be
married, for whose services the bride
groom gave him counterfeit bill, and
then stole t he minister cinderella as he
passed out through the hall. They have
made good beginning and will doubtless
get along in the world.
Ladies who know how to prepare a
dish, ought not to be selfish, and keep it
Tor their own benehU. but send it Tor pub
llcatlon, and may thus be the means of
some poor vile regaInlng the affections OF
her husband
The wife of Mendez, is insane; the
wife of Mejia is mad the wife OF Mira
mon Is stricken beyond nope Of recovery
and the Princess Salm Salm is In jail.
Bad place for unprotected females, Mex
leo.
Fanny Fern, though ffty-fve feels half
the tine as if ''she were just made. y -
Queer feeling, that. Fanny's recollec-
ton is probably more vivid, not to say
more pleasant, than some peoples.
Ladies walk on their toes at seventeen;
their heels at thirty; and on their whole
feet al. toFty-hye. And at each period
they exhibit 4 uniform capacity to walk
nto somebody's purse for support SO
remarks an illnatured cynic.
An exchange paper says that wo-
man WAS seen. a few days ago. walking
along the principal street OF a western
village rugged out in the latest fashion,
but baretooted
The Black Crook has reached its
350th night iii New York, and ism yet
on Its last legs.
In the suit of Charles Burrell, substi-
tutc broker, against the city Of Boston,
commenced Monday in the United States
Circuit Court, the plaintiff claims about
sl00, 900, 900, principal and interest. for
furnishing soldiers and sailors towards
the quota OF Boston during the war
A philosophical old lady gives it as
her opinion. that, whoever died on wash
ing day, does 1t out OF pure spite
Advertising for wife, says a cotem-
porary is just as absurd as it would be to
get measured for an umbrella.
A young lady at Long Branch is re-
ported as clothed in laughing eyes and
a bewirching smile. Light gear
What FIVE letters form a sentence OF
forgiveness? IAQZU.