The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1867-11-19
PARAGRAPHS.
Ich ado about nothing-the part.

Much ado about nothing-the pnrt-
ing OF young ladies.
"A Chicago clergyman calls the
opera ga handmaId OF the church."
The Milwaukee Sentinel urges that
special seats be set apart ior giggling
girls at all concerts and operas.
Alexander Dumas recently ad-
dressed u letter as follows "To Carl
baldi, Rome-To be called for"
The latest Partisan caprice for male
exqu.sites Is walking stick with
sword in one end, and matches and
candle stick ut the other.
"A suicide in San Francisco left
note saying that he poisoned himself
because the world was too small for
him.
Mark Twain describes the Syrian
females as SO siniully ugly that they
"cHnnOt smile after twelve O'Clock Sat
urday night without breaking the Sab
Dnth.'
A man, boasting in the company of
young ladies' that he had a luXuriant
head of hair, u lady present observed
that IL WAS owing TO the MeLtOWneSS Of
the soil.
"A country lawyer who was the
happy father of ten tall girls, averaging
about six feet in height, often boasted
that he had sixty feet of daughters.
III going uncovered indicates II rev.
erenI spirit, as Is claimed i'll some COun'
tries, many of our ladies in fashionable
circles are patterns of reverence. They
are head and shoulders in advance OF
the world in general.
The following scene is laid in a
first. class hotel: TTdUeier-I desire to
be called AT six o'clock. Clerk with II
gold chain-lf you will ring the bell at
that hour one OF the boys will attend to
your case.
II have always thanked God, says
an old philosopher, that was not born
n woman, deeniDg her the bestower
rather than the enjoyer of happiness-
the flower-crowned sacrifice offered up
to the human lord of creation.
You never knew very handsome
rights" buslness-they can play the
cards they already hold to better ad-
vantage.
Literary critics cannot determine
whether men or woman are the supe-
rior letter writer's, but they are unani-
nous in declaring woman the greater
story tellers.
-Beecher says "I have given thou
sands of dollars so people in distress,
be pnid back, but have never receiv-
ed hut s3 back. and that was from
black woman"
-"What makes your cows so cross ?"
said an old lady TO the milkman, the
other day. "CrosS, madam? They are
the gentlest things in the world J"
"Weil the milk is always sour" the
nutrOn replied, sharply.
The Augusta Journal tells story to
the effect that II young man entered one
of the banks in that city and hesita-
tingly inquired if Miss, to whom
the cGup snid he was engaged, had any
money in the bank, saying that "they
say" reported she had 500 there. The
cashier politely referred him TO tine
young lady herself.
Signs ofwealth in Nature are iudica-
tions OF poverty in man. The Boston
Post says that when men are seedy they
are usually poor, but Natures seediest
show is made in her period of wealth
harvest.
Some close observer says thnt
young ladies who are accustomed TO
read newspapers are sure to possess
winning ways, birdlike dispositions,
have cultivated minds, never commit
suicide, nor sing NO one to love, are
free from gOssipping, always select
good husbands, and invariably make
sweetest, best wives, and never apply
TOR a divorce, provided they arc kept ut
IA respectable distance from Chicago.
Somebody says that the best way to
get rid of weeds is to always put your
cigar case and its contents at the ser
vice of your friends. Jones says that
the most effective means he ever tried
was by squeezing the hand of u plump
young bereaved in black. The next
day she was in half-mourning, and a
second kindly pressure resulted in a
pink gown, with n white bonnet.