The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1867-11-06

department. This week we crowd in q
,ri0c or two, commencing with ''the
outside dog in the fight" which hits off
our dog to at. ->
THE OUTSIDE DOG IN THE FIGHr.
You may sing of your dog. your bottom dog,
F. Or OF any dog that you please, - -.
/ 90 for the dog, the wise old dog,
That knowingly takes his ease,
And, wagging his tail outside the ring
Keeping always HIS bone il sight
Cores not pin in his sound old head
For either dog in the fight.
Not his is the bone they are fighting for,
And why should my dog sail in.
With nothing to gain but certain chance
To lose his own precious skin?
There may he few perhaps who fell
TO see it in quite this light,
But when the fur flies had rather be
The outside dog in the fight.
know there are dogs-injudicious dogs
Who think it is quite the thing
To take the part of one OF the dogs,
And so yelpiug into the ring;
Bur care not pin what all may say
10 tuC WIOUS VI iuC
My money goes, as we'll as my song,
For the dog that keeps out o. the fight.
Stick to or remember the point" the
funny part, when you tell story, and
don't do like certain college Professor,
who met boy wearing jacket much
too short for him:
"Why, my son." he said, "your jack
ct is too short"
ut will be long enough before l get
another" was the witty reply.
The doctor laughed heartily, and told
the story at the faculty meeting thus:
II heard very funny thing to. day, I
met a boy with very short jacket, and
upon my telling him that it was too
short, he replied that it would be some
time before he could get another"
Not soul laughed, for no one saw
the joke.
"Why, DOCTOR" said one Of the fac
ulty, "that's not funny"
NO." replied Dr., with puz-
zled look; II don't think it is now, but
it was when heard it.'' -
It is said that there is a happy indi-
vidual in West Virginia who has only
lately heard Of the war. Happy fellow,
how many are there who would like to
be iii his place. 7:,
He lives twenty miles from any human
habitation, and has not paid taxes for
wears. He is contented to live with his
wife, ignorant Of the affairs of his country,
and spends his days hunting and fishing.
He said chad understood q few years
ago that there was a little fuss about
something. but did not suppose it amount
cd to anything. ~..... =.
There arc ''many men Of many minds''
as also many women of many kinds, If it
were lot so, it would not be related that:
A 'Hovely girl" in Winconsin, recent
ly recovered fourteen hundred dollars
damages in a breach of promise suit
against per6dious lover. Her lawyer
congratulated her on the amount, when
she exclaimed, with a ferocious glance
at the mulc,ed defendant. and nervously
clenching her fingers, nd give every
penny of it just 10 have one good pull
at his hair pa .'..-
l. A youg girl who has become tired of
single bIcssednesS, writes 20 ner. true
swain rs follows:
"Decr .Gim-Cum rite off ei you air
cummin at awl. FL. Collins is insistin
that ishall bev him, an he hngs an kisses
me so kontinnerly that kant hold owt
longer, but will hes to kavc in. ~.
...... BETSY.
We advise Jim to 60 along straishtway
before Betty caves.
Oh that change may come over the
the spilit Cd her dream. We pity this
spouse " hose cry for small change is
denied 3. .r::.:.
"My dear" said a smiling spouse to
her other half, "I'm going a shopping
to-day and want little change" POOH"
responded the savage, that would be
no change at all; you go shopping every
day."
Somebody says, "a wife should be like
a roasted lamb-tenlcr and nicely dress
ed" A scamp adds, land without any
sauce"
"Ho for the West!' would not so
often be the cry Of Our yonng men, if
more of them were willing TO hoe at the
South. -.-:. -.r,
Who settled Virginia ?" "Jahn
Smith," "Who unsettled Virginia =
John Brown" WHO settled John
Brown?" "Virginia."
A man named Tease has arried a
woman named Cross. That's lucky
tease. He leased her till she agreed she
wouldn't be Cross any more.
Necessity is the mother Of invention,
but it has never been accurately ascer-
tained who is the father.
Prentice says stufing improves the
fair as well as the fowl.
Ifscven days make one weak, how
many will make one strong.
When is lawyer like a donkey? When
he's drawing conveyance. 80.
CABLE observation-disclosures. Novem.
ber 2.-Adviccs from Garibaldi's camp