Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1867-11-13
Asa Har,z ON Oysters.

An oyster is something good to eat, but
can't vote. He grows in Out-Of-the-way
places, where the tide ebbs and flows as
often as it wants to in twenty-four hours,
and he seems to like it.
He has curious and at the same time
playful habit, at cert ain times, of opening
his shell and attracting to his presence the
hungry raccoon. On such occasions the
cuss of a racOoOn surreptitiOusly inserts
his paw into the-Open shell. to haul the
oyster out; whereupon the latter clamps
down on him like the devil, and hold him
there till the tide rises and browns him.
l don't know what he does it for, but
have the authority of several editions of
natural history-with colored plates-for
saying that such is the fact, and also that
no racoon has ever been known to survive
this hydropathic treatment.
The oyster must be of an extremely So
cial disposition. They sleep numerously
kicking another out. They are quiet set,
and, though they often open their mouths,
have nothing to say. A great many self
important politicians of tie present day
are suffering with the same complaint.
Their religious principles are strikingly
evident in the fact that they all belong to
the ,Hardshell persuasion, and although
thing, the principles of that creed are often
seen when dozen of them are found clus-
tered around the neck of an old empty bot
tie which some mean white man has emp
tied and thrown overheard.
In his normal state the oyster is quiet and
any thing but fussy, but when brought into
towns and cities, he often gets into brOil
or stew, and although McCool himself
would be unable to close his ''eye," the poor
thing suffers muchly from this getting into
hot water.
His temperance proclivities will make
him take even salt water when he can't get
fresh, and his diet, outside of that raccoon
tOible mentioned above, is exceeding light
People eat oysters. Some are preferred
in the live state and some in the cooked
They are dog ob'd good both ways. Tie
most approved and highly satisfactory way
of eating an oyster is to do it after the shell
has been opened. / have known people to
fail signally who tried it the other way.
Oysters flourish in all the months OF the
year in which the letter ''r'' occurs, and the
larger colonies of them are to be found on,
st. Charles street, both sides, from Sep
tember once to the very last day of April
next. There are occasions when they may
be found in large communities at Barata-
ria. These are of a higher order, and their
acquaintance eagerly sought after by sim
pie natives.
There are two ways of making an oyster
open unto you. One is to knock him like
the mischief with q brick until he can't
1elp 1t, anu the OCner Is 10 Clckle nlm WlG1
thing like bowie knife. The first named
plan will always succeed, but the oyster
doesn't like it, and the result is not salts
factory to the man who does it.
tried the other process once, and sue
'ceeded in taking # one-half my left
thumb with the bowie-kniferous instru-
ment used for tickling. have not tried it
since. Not many people know how to do
it, expertly.
You then put pepper-sauce on him, if
lemons are ten cents apiece. They are both
good if you like it.
1 don't know how many oysters can
eat in given time; but am willing, after
due notification, to try it for the benefit of
any unprejudced Individual who has a
barrel or two on hand and an expert to use
the opening instrument.
In conclusion, the oyster is like clam,
only little more that way. He can hold
on tighter, is more heity in his general
build, and there is more diversity in his
style OF architecture.
think / shall 60 out and get some.
ASA HARTz.
P. ST. should have stated that come
people eat oysters in August; but they are
principally illiterate persons who spell that
month "O-r-gust."-N. o. Times.