The New era. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1865-1871, 1867-04-18
LIGHT READING.

The Legislature of Alabama mas Just
created new county, and named it
"Dixie.n
-, Denver, in Colorado, has 700 dogs.
me question arises, how did they all
get out there?
OF the vowels, i is in bliss, e in hell,
and all the others in purgatory.
The Great Confiscator thinks the rebels
are yet unsubdued, and acknowledges
they are foemen worthy of his steal
A moral town in Maine has had a
ball, the proceeds of which went to buy
hearse.
Prentice says: Brownlow threatens to
retire to private life-with cart-load Of
birthstone and q chunk Of fire. Give
him a chance.
The Nashville papers have got politics
so badly mixed up that their patrons
paper is preaching.
A Western wag remarks that he has
seen couple of sisters, who had to be
told everything together, for they were
so much alike that they couldn't be told
apart.
Jane swisshelm says When women
vote, the death penalty will be abolish
ed, except for rape" She's a funny old
girl; but her declaration shows how
very unselfish she is"
Not few of this worlds possessions,
if viewed in themselves, and in their
effects upon men, may be termed any
thing rather than wealth.
" Ma, why is q postage stamp like a
hn1 ,,,'t IfiI
why is it 90 "Because it gets licked and
put in corner"
That man is not good enough for any
place VITO thinks no place good enough
for him.
Would you hear sweet and pleasing
echo, speak sWeetly and pleasing your
self
Which is the strongest day Of the
seveno Sunday, because the Others are
week days.
A clergyman "down East'' asked
woman he had baptized, as she was
coming out Of the water, how she felt
in her mind, and was somewhat sur
prised to hear her answer, ssbully.e
An old lady, reading an account Of a
distinguished old lawyer who Was said
to be the father OF the New York bar,
exclaimed: Poor man! he had %
dreadful set Of Children
Papa" said Mr.. Browns youngest
son the other day, s'ean [ go to the cir
Gus ??'' 9 No, my b0y,o affectienateiy
replied Mr. Brown; = If You are good
hoy, viii take you out to see your
grandmQtherss grave this evening"
At the Philadelphia Medical College,
the other day, the examiner inquired:
"When does modification ensue?7 and
was surprised when an adoiescent Esct1-
lapian answered. 'sWhen you propose
to lovely creature and are refused
Charlie. my dear" said loving
mother to hopeful son, Just budded
into breeches. Charlie, my dear, come
here and got some eandy.n II guess !
WON'T mind it now, mother,n replied
Charlie, tive got in some terbacker."
a forty-day husband, on whom the
memory of the honeymoon already
seems to have become poWerless, wants
to know why his wife is like asmall pie.
Do you give it up? BECAUSE" says
the unfeeing wretch ''she is now a
little tart"
p. 7. Barnum had sign of a show in
Connecticut, but it was not attractive,
and resulted in failure.
The looking-glass makes fools Of
women-the wine-gass of men.
Mrs. Boomer, who gave her name TO
short petts and pants, now wears the
long skirts like the rest Of the angels,
The iadies out West, instead Of using
the expression ''Fhe Old Harry" have
become SO refined as 70 say "Fhe An
Gent Henry"
An old lady being asked 10 subscribe
to newspaper, declined on the ground
that when she wanted news she manu-
featured it, Some 81 her own manu-
facture:
Mrs. Jasper told me that she heard
Great Woods wife say that John Hard
stones aunt mentioned to her that Mrs.
Trusty was present when the widow
Barman said that Captain Hertel's
cousin thought IIez. Dooittie's sister
believed that Sam Trifle's better half
had told Mrs. Spalding that she heard
John Rhenne's woman say that her
mother told her that Mrs. Bagatelle had
two husbands"
Remedy Tor mates.
Cut aDDies or potatoes in niecas ahout