Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1867-07-10
], Humorous Gatherings.

|
@ Ap;abbrevia,on, not found in books,
!. is lobe found on a tombstone in Dunkrk
The mourners intended to put an old aunt to
sleep, with the customary phrase, "let her
tin peace" but the space on the sione gave
out ct the close Of the word her. The ready
wittgd ulptor, however, inserted the initials,
and now the dear old lady sleeps beneath
the hconic, but inelegantsepitaph, "Lel her
ripri
1 aGsg What are you doing there Jane 2''
aWh1y, pa, I'm going to dye dolls dress red" !"
But what have you got to dye it with 2"
Beer" Who on earth told you that beer
would dye itrcd?" Why, mo said it was
beersthat made you. nose look so red, and /
Thought" Here, Susan, take this child"
t. lady asked gentleman the other
day why SO many tall gentlemen were baehe.
lors? The reply was that they were obliged
to lie crosswise in bed to keep their feet in,
and that o wife would be in the way.
! aElr A schoolmaster in one of the neigh
boring towns, while on his morning walk
passed by the door of a neighbo- who was
excayating a log for a.pig trough. "Why,"
said The schoomaster. @Mr. - have you
not furniture yet?" eyes," said the man,
enough for my own family, but 1 expect to
board The schoolmaster this winter, and am
makiDg preparations"
7 IT, George, do you remember the story
of David and Goliah?n
Yes, sir; David was tavern-keeper and
Goliah :. an Incorporate man."
$s@Wp told you that?"
q 20 Moody read it, and it said that David
fixea a Sling for Goliah and Goliah got slowed
whit.
Is A savan connected with the Garden
Of Plants in Paris has carried three billiard
sails constantly in his bosom for the past
seven months wrapped up in flannel wuist.
coat srpposing that they were crocodile eggs,
and thit they would hatch by the process.
IL A colored clergyman, in prayer
meeting in Virginia, while engaged in suppl
cation few weeks since, after praying for tue
divine blessing upon the Governor of that
States md all others in authority there, con-
tinued: sand Lord-O Lord-O Lord, il
it willnot exhaust thy compassion, have mer,
cy upn Andrew Johnson"
L We never heard of but one old wo.
man Who kissed cow" but we've seen ma
ny.a pretty girl kiss good sized calf
H4 A mans wife in South Bend, Ohio
presented her husband with very fine boy.
Nexsmorning the man stepped into the May
or's tiire aud stated that the night previous,
ftlw cams skuiking into his house stark
,nakeI: that he VAS there yet. Three police
menht once started OIL. the run to oust the
iintadei. 'Wt'ren they got 70 the house, they
ask,d 10 sec the fellow hat bad come in there
thenight before. They brought out tie baby
Thepoliccmen suddenly disappeared, and it
is Supposed have had to stand good many
eXtn treats since.
Es5e Too Coon TO pE LosT.-The United
Stacs Internal Revenue Detectives are here
from Washington, on tour Of Investigation.
rh7 have had a good many of our liquor
mu before them, examining into their eflairs,
AM amcng them our friend Captain Morris
Hbson, Of the steamer Nellie Jenkins"
Ole Of the principal detectives asked Capt.
llGson il he had not been bringing good
ln;ny barrels marked "whskcy" to Rich
nlnd On his boat.
The Captain replied by asking the officers
if The fact ofthe barrels being marked "whis
kei' necessarily made Ihe'cuntents whiSkey.
TO which he replied, Mpstassurcdly sir"
Then remarked Captsin lIobson, Well,
ros, Mr. Officer, answer Inc oie thing: II |
wae To take, u piece Of chalk ":ii mark on
yuir back. I'D Gck ass would that
mike you one?'
The officer in question was sold, and tic
rc,t Of the cro~d erjeycd his discontinue
hugely. The Captain VS. discharged with
out further Qnestion.-Richmond Examiner.
~ darkey preacher was telling how
Aeam was the first man created, and Sc: up
against the fence to dry. An older brother,
who sometimes had lucid ideas, interrupted
hin and said, "If dat is true, who made de
iAlce?" Pass round de sasser.
@T A LITTLE MORE CrDgR.-A young
lacy AMI Good Ttmpar in a California
town entered into lively discussion in the
lodgo Of which she was q member, on the
subject Of cider drinking She was very fond
OF sweet cider, and on 40 account, COULD she
be pursuaded to shun it, Addressing in anti
cider driaker, she said Il love cider; it is d
necessity with me: | must have it viii
Rave it, If this lodge decides we must not
drink it, shall e,t apples and then get some
good locking fellow to- squeeze me-lor |
tell you can't live without cider.n
AN ITEM WHICH EVERY MAN SHOULD