The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1867-03-02
schools and schooImastsrs.

II
norance is sometimes to be pitled, while
at other times it assumes such grotcsque
and ludicrous character that It would
excite the merriment Of old Cerberus
himself
We have lately come into possession Of
tho facts Of q case which transpired some.
where in Northwest Maine, that,are too
good to go unchroniclcd. -
A certain "Knight of the Birchcn
Rod" wishing to obtain certificate as a
school teacher, as required by the General
Statutes of Mass. called upon the Super
intcndcnt of Public Schools, not long since
when the following dialogue took place
Morning, Mr.. Superintendent"
GOOD morning, Sir; take chair"
"You see, Mr., I'm schooli' it out in
my settlement, and have been for risin'
fifteen year, and | want sertifhcate tc
keep doin'." : '':t
"All right, Sir; am ready to grant
the certificate, but before doing 80 mlsi
examine you as to your competency"
"Now look here, 'taint no use fur to
canine me, fur as / said afore, I've been
schoolin' it risin' fifteen year"
"Ycs, Sir; that may all be, but the Law
requires me to examine you before issu-
ing the certificate, and must do my
duty
"Taint no use-I never was zamined in
this way, and / have heap of stificatea
and can fetch them into you" -
"Never mind the certificate; you must
be examined as to your qualifications, or
the certificate cannot issue" aa /.
"Well; but it's naray bit Of use. l
have been" ~
"Neyer mind that; what branches do
you teach in your SCHOOL,"
40, rcadin', spcIlin', writin' and fgger-
in" ="
"Is that all?"
"Ycs; the folks out thar don't use
anything else. They're all down on high
schcolin'."
"Don't you teach grammar 7"
"0h, no; the folks are down on grammar
larnin'."
Don't some of your scholars want to
study GRAMMAR"
Mary one Bout FIVE year ago one oi
old man Hemphills gals tuck notion to
study grammar, but in bout two weeks she
gin it up"
"Well, it is necessary that you as a
teacher, should have some knowledge oi
grammar, and | must examine you in that
branch"
Well, now, that's no use the folks don't
want that kind of larnin'."
'.Very likely. But can you tell me how
many parts of speech there are?"
"Well, now let me see; I'll declare il
has slipped my memory. don't jest now
rccollect. But anyhow grammer is super
fewous." 49,.
: "Can't you give guess?"
"Well 1 should say bout twow
THAT won't do; guess again"
"Well, at furdest l should say four. y
"Are you sureg"
"WeIl. as near as / can re-collect, ii
mought be, and it moughtenk
- "Now, sir; tell me what is English
grammar?"r
GAS near as I can re-collect it's a
smallie' book, bout SO long," (measuring
with his hand, sand bout half inch
thickw
"Did you ever ses X. s ham or Pinneo?'
"No, sir; they never lived in our settle.
ment" r
Do you know anything about Bullion
or Smith?
40, yes; I've hearn tell heap of 'Old
Bullion, but / never have saw him--l
voted for him. AS fur Smith, he lives
across the run, bout two mile from my
house His boys go to school to me-"
"Very well. What is geography"
"Don't use any in my school, but if
don't disremember. seed some in towr
and they're bout the size of good chunk
of shingle."
(Which is the largest river in the
worldf' = -
"The Mississippi, of course"
"What is the shape of the earth?"
"Well, in our region it's right smart
hilly, but further down it's fat and swan
pish."
(which is the highest mountain in thl
worldY i -
'Pilot Knob"
"Very we'll. Now, sir; you say that il
your school you only teach spelling, read
ing, writing and arithmetic" '''''
mo, sir; | didn't say | larned 'em reth
metic; I only larns 'em readin' spelin
writin'and figgerin'." I
Exactly. Now, after your scholar
have gone through the spelling books an'
readers, what do you do then?"
"I turns 'em back. i: -
$50 you keep them at the same book
i all the time?'a4 'sf.t.
eyes, sir: there's nothin' like layin' tn
foundation we'll and turns 'em back til
j they finishes their schoolin'."
@'sJust so. Now, sir, il seems so mo tina
you are little rusty in some of tn
branches and before | can give you ceI
tificate you must study a little and, be
come better posted"
1 "Now don't SEQ as I can, fur, Tv
got power of work on hand, and the ol,
woman has O risin" on her, and John ha
q bealin on his left foot, which gives m
more'n can see to. Besides, the peopl
don't want that kind of teaohin', and
would be mighty pity to keep the''ohil
dren out of school now, fur they're mos
uncommon bad off fur schoolin'."
every well, will take the matter unde
advisement, and you can call again in to-
days"
! So the native educator departed, not a
together disconsolate The originality Q