The Daily empire. (Dayton, Ohio) 1865-1867, 1867-04-30
Marvel of the Age-Medicines Dis
pensed With-DOctOrs no Longer
Needed.
BoBTowN Ohio,
April the Twenty-onth.

y NFANNf
April the Twenty -onth.
Mr.. ~EDIrOR-Being DESTROYS of visiting
your popilous town for the purpose Of in.
trodusing my New family Intment and
knowing that the only way TO dew bizzl-
ness is to advcrtis into your muchly read
able and vulnerable paper, l take this OPP
portuneity to inform you that my intmint
Is possessed of a peculiarly non-combust-
i've ellermnt. 1t is put up in boxes accor-
din to the United States Farmercopea, and
don't smell bad. faint genuine unless It's
got my name in big letters that nobody
cant countertlt on to it..
want you to git up a big puff for my
intmout in your tallest smattering of Ian
guagc. | want to call the attention Of the
most Respectable portion of welthy rich
and barbarous community, (sufferagers not
excepted to the fact that my intment is
healing, penetrating, non-combustive, di-
gestiye, strengthening, stretching and
puckerativc.
1t is composed of ingrediences too nume-
rous to mention, and is very costiUe. No
body don't know how to make it but me.
1t has been known to heal up Il sore and
grow hair Il foot long in one night. 1t has
been known to penetrate into the secret
thoughts of n divorced wife, while its non
conclusive properties render It not only
harmless, but vulnerable in case the said
wife shou Id be remarked over again.
Also its digestive powers enable a hem
pccked husband to digest anything his wife
may say while she has her henpecking fits
on to her, strengthening and n%erving him
up to do better for his certain %inallenable
rights and stretching him on to his peace
full cover where he may slumber itfully.
This intment has also a puckerative effect
onto family expenses. 1t cures itch and
Kills lice on calves. 1t kills bedbugs, cock
reaches, fees, muskeeters, and flies; stops
from yawling of nights, and keeps
boys out of mischief, one application is
1t cures small pox, measels and
rhinderpest.
Its II sure shetpan onto scolding men of
the femail gander. One application will
raise a young girls jignon a foot in one
and that too without busting the
skin at the back part of the he'd. Its heavy
on shortenin up coat tails, 1t makes breech-
es as tight rs the skin. 1t will mock the
spots outer fever cgy in several days. 1t
never fails to make a young Teller banker
after the gal he's in love with. I've tried it
these particular, its ahead of cold taller
or coal oil.
It's used as a he'd oil. 1t will cure the
pips in chickens or the hog collery. Ifa
box, (price 90 cents be mixed with butter
Hotel Keepers and others will find that
will eat less butter. It's good for
yaller jandis and the nose bleed. Its good
for hosses, mules and other kwadrupeds.
1t never fails to keep shippers out of
cheese. and it is also good to clean kittles,
'cour knives and churn butter. Farmers
buy it by the CARLOAD, as its draw
ng ~propensities enable it to draw water
rom the deepest wells and woodchucks
rom their holes, q don't know about this
lrawing Dizziness but l must blow a little
can't SELL Large sales and small profits
5 my sentiments Put in a good one about
my intment and I'll give you a box for
nothing to grease your hair with. l shall
upon you. My intment is hom-
Opathic.
Very Sartainly yours,
FEB. SHORT, NJ. d.
P.S.-I'm a graduate in the Intment biz
,iupss. |