Delaware State journal and statesman. [volume] (Wilmington, Del.) 1855-1870, 1867-04-26

WHAT IS A "TARg? "--Many men, although |
not as exemplary as they should be in their lives
are vet at much pains to rear their children cor
reCy. The sentiment with them is, "do as
say, not as DO" Such tather-uot far from
Ciucnuati-is in tho habit Of getting Intoxicated
or on STARE" rather often. He endeavora
however, to hide the fact from his children, out
'Iue pitchers have long ears" and children
know more Of what is going on than grown
people frequently suppose. One evening ms
exemplary with "Sarkastlcap point oil eXcla-
maton) parent was hearing his little Johnny re-
cite bis Sunday .sohool lesson. II was from the
fourteenth chapter of Matthew, wherein is re-
lated the parable of the malicious individual
who went about sowing tares, sc. "What is
tare?" the parent inquired. Johnny hestated'
"Tell me, my son, what tare is" "fou have
had en-" said Johnny, casting down his eyes
and wlggng his foot. "liad em!" said the
astcuishcd parent, opening his eyes rather wide
"why, what do you mean, Johnny" "When
you lln't come home for three days last week,
heard mother tell Aunt Susan that you was oil
on iare." The SundRy.school lesson was
ntNuBuA " u huuueh SA0aNt Api SshNNJf
too much altogether, was sent to bed.
CosuNDRUMs.-why is q lady of fashion like
a successful sportsman Because she bags the
hair
Why is husband like Mississippi steamboat
Because he never knows when he may get a blow
ingup.
When is a lover like a tailorY When he
presses his suit.
Why are hot buokwheat cakes like cater
pillar? because they are the GRUB" that make
the butterfly.
Why is it that the moment Of popping the
question is 80 terrible to young fellows that they
frequently cannot utter a word +? Because JUS
then they love the fair one beyond expression.
Why is an accepted sutton like person guilty
Of crime? Because he ought to be transporter
Why is man who beats his wife like an ex
qusitely formed dog? Because he is perfec
brute
Why does a salmon die before it lives? BE
cause its existence is before it come to life'
What do oats have which no other animal has
Kittens.
Why is a man with curved spine like hous
with rear piazza? Because he has bac
stOop.
shOrge, why is the James River like key
lager beer? Because they both flow into Il
Dutch Gap Canal.
When may ship be said to be foolishly
loVeg When she is attached to buoy.
Rochester urchn unconsciOusly perpetrat'
agFeat joke ct the expense of his teacher u
other day. The lady was announcing to
pupils the holiday on the 22ni, and asking the
some questions concerning its observance, amO
others why the birthday of Washington shot
be celebrated more thany any one else-'Wb
she added, more than mine, you may tell IN
she said to a little fellow eager to explain.
cause, he exclaimed, with great vivacity =
cause he never told q lie
An lrishman bad been sick for long til
and while il this state would occasionally ce
breathing and life be apparently extinct
some time when ho would again revive.
one Of these occasions when he had just awak
ed from his sleep, Patrick asked him-'Ah, ho
We know Jenny when you're dead for
4 after wakin' up livery time Bring me g
C'gtOg,' he replied, and say to mo, Heres
ye Jenny, an' if don't rise up and dhri
then bury me-
Look here, boy said nervous gentlema
sn urchin who was munching candy at lect
you are annoying me very much.' mo a
Aeithcr,' said the urebin; Pm gnawing
'ere candy