Delaware State journal and statesman., 1867-07-30
WIT AND HUMoR.


We believe it was the celebrated and witty
DR.. Wistar, Of Philadelphia, who is reported to
have made the allusion TO our colored sister
quoted in the following history: The Doctor
was warden Of one Of the Episcopal churches
in Philadelphia, and, as such, it became his duty
to pass the plate. In the grave discharge of that
duty, one Sunday morning, he went down the
whole distance Of the aisle, and gathered in but
q beggsrly account Of pennies, dimes, and quar-.
ters. In the last seat, next the door, sat negro
woman, whose skin was really unnecessarily
black. She WAS a wel-to-do and charitable
person, and dropped into the plate five-dolar
gold piece. The Doctor looked at it intently for
moment, and said to himself, in an under-ione:
"Well, that's guinea Niger, any howl"
In a copy of the United States Gazette, pub
lishsd in 1779, we find an account of flag pre-.
ssntation which may edify that large portion of
our population who have atterly participated 10
little affairs of that sort. On the day after the
battle of Fort Moultrie, in 1878, Mrs Elliott
presented to Col. Moultrie's Second South Caro-.
lima Regiment banner. Surrounded by the
beauty and fashion Of the day, the colonel stepped
forth snd, receiving the flag from Mrs E, ,acknowl.
edged it in very appropriate and eloquent
speech. In closing he turned suddenly to his
men, and said: "My gallant companions, you
see the reward of courage and forlltudel You
have fought and have conquered, and the brave
fellows who fell ia the carnage Of yesterday are
now in heaven riding in their chariots like tho
very devil !"
At a Sabbath school "Conoeri," held in ono OF
the prettiest towns in Western New York, por-
tion Of the exercises consisted in each scholar
repeating verse Of Scripture in which should
be found the word love. When it came to the
turn Of Miss j, beautiful young lady Of
eighteen, and fin the Market" she was uulre-
pared with answer; but before the exercise was
concluded she remarked to her teacher that she
had found the verse. II was; 81 love those who
love me, and those who seek me early shall find
me-" Excellent girl that
Bob, that is a fine horse you have there how
much is he worth p
Three hundred and fifty dollars
Not 80 much as that
Yea every cent of it--anothsr fifty On top of
IT,
Are you sure?'.
YES, I'll swear 10 IT,
'All right
What are you 30 inquisitiye for 2
Merely for assessing purposes. am the
assessor, and only wanted to know what you
rated yeur nag at
The other night oonVivially- disposed person,
retiring late, walked somewhat noisily up the
stairs and corridor to his room. why, what q
noise you make 7 said his wife; how heavily
you walkl' 'Wel my dear, wac the gruff re-
sponse, 'if you can get barrel of whisky up
stairs with any less nOise should like to see
you do it?'
Sir, do you mean to say that speak falsely p
said person to French gentleman. NO, sare,
1 say not that; but, sare, say that you walk
round about the truth very much.'
Pray excuse bit of sarcasm.' said Smith ia
Jonep, but you are an infamous scoundrel.
Pray, pardon touch Of irony replied Jones,
and knocked him down with poker.
What is it that has two buildings, two trees,
two animals, and two fab ? The human body
viz, two temples, two palms, two calves, and
two soles.
During very fine solo on the violin, al one Of
the London oratorioB, oountryman who had
obtained admission to the gallery exclaimed in o
loud voice, "Lor lori what a while thai mar
is tuning his fiddle !"
A lady stepping into a railway car, said to hei
little son "Arcn't you going to kiss your mother
before you gOf" The little rogue wouldn't wait
and called out. "COnduotOr, won't you kisI
mother for me I"
| In winter it is sometimes difficult to under.
stand the clerk Of the weather but when il
SHOWS violently you can always see his drift
Goodness me = cried an old lady the othei
day. III the world does come to an end nexj
year what shall do for snuff.
Somebody says 80 wife should be like a roast
ed lamb-teuder and nicely dressed" A scamI
adds, and without any sauce.
young woman's heart is like the moon il
| hsrka al laa :.