Mineral Point weekly tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1859-1868, 1867-08-07
G u T L & r Y

IT WIS al bHtcllfIldn VINO Salu
his pig had no ear-niarks except a
short tail: and it was British mag
istrate who, being told by vaga-
bond that he was not married. re-
spoDded That a good thing for
Your wife
\ LITTLE boy in Wisconsin was
being put to bed the other might
about dark, when he obiec-ed to go
ing 50 early. His mother told him
chickens went to bed early. and he
must too. The little fellow said he
would if his mother would do as
the old Zen did-go TO bed first,
then coax the chickens to come.
y TrrsY fellow. leaning against
fence, was asked where he expect
ed t. 90 when he died. If can't
Get alongany better then than now"
said he, = shan't 90 anywhere"
y DEMOCRATIC paper says, the
Presidents veto has the ring OF
the right metal" Yes, it is decid-
edly coppery in tone
WONDER" said Il Scotch maiden.
"what my brother John sees in the
lasses that he likes them 50 we'll ::
for my part, | wad mai gin the COM
pany o, one lad for twenty lasses."
LET the weather be what it will.
the milk men are constant in their
attendance at the watering places.
ON one occasion, Mr.. James T..
Brady was defending hard case.
when the Judge made several rul-
ings very much againts the defend
amt. Whereupon Mr.. Brady bland
lv inquired - May it please your
honor. who's engaged on the other
side OF this case besides the JudgeH
THE cause Of the ladies teeth de
caying at 50 much earlier a stage of
lite than those Of the other sex has
been attributed by some to the fric-
ton of tongue on them; but an
Aberdeen paper SAYS, it has been
dicovered to be owing to the sweet
ness OF the lips :.
'GENrLEHlEN of the jury said a
western lawyer, L don't mean to in
sinuatc that this gentleman is COW
etous person, but | II bet five to one
that if YOU should bait a steel trap
with a new three cent piece. place
it within three inches Of his mouth.
YOU could catch his soul. | would
not-the Court and gentlemen of
the jury would not trust him in
Il room with milltsone and the an
gel Gabriel to guard it.
\ Person inquired at one of our
railway stations, what time the 10
train would start, and was told. at
Il quarter to eight
Bless me he exclaimed,' YOU
are always changing the time on
| this line
y FELLOW went into the Clerk ;
Office theother day TO get marriage
certificate. After looking at the in
strument a while, he beckoned the
clerk aside: = See here mister
said he northumberland YOU
/ date the thing back about two
I months :" The clerk assured him
I that he could not. ''Wcll said he.
L don't care anything about it NV.
self, but her folks rather insists up
! on it.
y LADY principal of school, in
her advertisement, mentioned her
female assistant and the "reputa
/ ton for teaching which she bears
But the printer, being excessively
bothered ~ her iabber. left ont the
(which, 50 the advertisement went
forth, commencing the ladv'$ rcpu
uation for teaching She bears"
THE Springfield Republican tells
. the following snake story \ child
at South Dorset. ~ months Old
caught a green snake nearly two
feet long, the other day, ate about
three inches OF its tail, bit it through
I the head: and game INTO the house
with the reptile wound about it.
arm, and the blood oozing from it,
moutlY.
y HYMN sung by an old negro
woman runs thus:
hear a rumblin' in dc skies,
Jews, screws, de ii dunn
hears rumbin'." Sc
IN inquiry elected the fact that
. the second line, which forms a Sor
OF chorus. originally read:
Jews crucihcd him"
MorNT HosMEE, on the Upper
. Mississippi. was, it i said. named il
honor OF Harriet IIo>mei. who chal
lenged number OF athletic Young
men, on board OF the steamboat OF
which She was passing up the river
TO beat her in race to the top OF
the bluff, until then not namcd.-
They accepted the gage Of battle. >
and put forth their best efforts t,
leave her in the rear. But she reach
ed its summit I'm advance If oil -.