The Lancaster ledger. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1852-1905, 1867-08-28
S P | G E-B @ X.

dirty bedfelow.
Whats the difference between a watch
maker and sentinel3 The ono ke.ps
the hours by the watch. and the other the
watch by the hours. -.
"Mr. James, how do YOU keep your
books I" "Oh. Nv double en,ry"-
"Doub's entry, hows ths,?" Easy
enough; ! make one entry, and father
makes another"
1t was pertinent and forcible saving
OF John Randolph tha, "a handsome wo.
man plesses the eye, hu, good woman
pIeases the heart. The one is iewei
and the other n treasure"
A poor fellow protested TO his girl in
the hay field that his two eve. baint
come together all night for thinking abou,
her. "Very likely they did not" replied
the sweet plague Of his life for se-
your nose is still between them"
A Young chap residing no, far from
Red River, where high water with loss Of
fences, etc, has been the la,es, excite.
ment, hearing some one remark that
Herod the Great reign4G thirty seven
years, said. "Aun, Mary dom, you reck
on that raised the rivers" sa. 81.
"F"'her, didn't you say the world wa.
round I"
ayes, my SON."
"WeIl how can it come to 40 end if
round I"
william, I wish you wouldn', talk
with your mouth full Of vctuas." ..
"fou can Go ANYTHING il you only have
patience to wsit." said an old fogy to his
son. "Wster may be carried in n sieve
hyou can wait" GLOW long 7" queried
the bon, an impudent and impatient,
Young America, who could hardly wal,
for the old mans obituary! Till it
freezes."
my dear Elem" said young man, 81
have long wished for this sweet opportu.
nifty, bu. | hardly dare trust myself to
speak the deep emotions of nv hosr:
but decls'o to you. my dear Ellen, ,ha,
love you most tenderly. Your smiles
haI
mind the wood she'd" said Ellen, "eo on
with your pretty talk"
Sharp. promising little boy, jus. learn.
ing to talk we'll.
"Fa'her are you going to zee the race,
to d~yT
"fa'hor. frightening up-"Wha, race
my sou will there be" .....
"The human race"
Husband to sife-"Mary Ann, tbs,
boy will be an editors pet"
W:fe-God forbid"
Deacon Brown la'ely took occasion tc
administer rsprooi to old Joe for swear
ing. Joe listened attentiveIy to his lords
seemed to appreciate the exhor, alton. ana
when he had concluded. replied as FOL
lows: The fact is, deacon. / may ,wes,
great deal, and you may pray a gres,
deal, but neither Of US mean anything by
1t. The deacon alludes to Joe ss An in
ssance OF total deprs.my. rr.r.f
a young gentleman or an elderly one
we d'sremsmbsr which, after having paid
his addresses to lady for some time
popped the question :" the lady in ,
frightened manner said: "You scsrs me
en- The gentleman did no, wish to
irghts" the lady, and consequently 70
manned quiet for some time, when al.
exclaimed Scare me again" We di(
not learn how sffsirs turned out bu, ,ho,l,
think it was pretty near his ,uru TO b,
scared. r...
The young lady who rises early, roll
up her sleeves. aud walks into the kitcb
en- TO get Breakfast, or a.si,. in doing so
and afterwards, With cheerfulness ant
sunny smiles, puts her house 10 order
without the assistance Of mother. /. wor,l
thousand Psrlor Beauties. who. from
the want OF exercise, complain Of snnsi
aud lounge 10 luxnrious ease. The forme,
will make good wife, and render HON,
aparadiss; the latter is = useless piece o.
furniture. and will, TO the annos ancs o
the household, 60 whining to the grsra
Let her go. ...