Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1867-06-05
Eittle .,flun 3low and Ghen.

Ea- The latest love of bonnet out
is said to be very pretty; it is made c
glass bead and white horse hair.
nsa- None but the brave deserve th
fair No, and none but the brave ca
live with some of them.
Hea- A bashful musician, upon bein:
requested to play tune on his cornet
turned red and white and blew.
BD~ A widow lately sitting by
cheerful fire in q meditative mood
shortly after her husbands decease
sighed out: Poor fellow-how he die
like good fire! l hope he has gon,
where they keep good fires
nea- Eggs with iron shells will be ;
fact at the Paris Exposition. A Berlin
chemist caused his hens to produc,
them by feeding them on a prepara
tion in which iron was made to takt
the place of lime. The eggs may do very
well for transportation, but how about
the chickens
nea-' And ye have taken the tetota
pledge, have ye? said somebody to al
1rishman.
'Indade l have, and am not asham.
ed of it aither'
And did not Paul tell Timothy to
take q little wine for his stomach 5
sake?' Sure be did, but my name is
not Timothy and there's nothing the
matter with my stomach
Fea- The following preparation, it
applied occasionally to the upper leath
er of boots or shoes, will soften it and
prevent it from cracking: Meats foot
oil, one quart; beeswaX, cut small, one
ounce; oil tar, half pound After
simmering the oil and wax u little in Il
pipkin, the oil of tar must be added.
and after gentle simmering again for
few minutes, stirring it the whole
time with a stick, that mixture will be
finished
AnTj0us To Haryy.-Once in a church
Il young man who carried the collec-
ton plate, before starting to collect,
put his hand in his pocket and deposit.
ed his contribution on the plate, and
then passed it around among the con
gregation, which numbered many
young and pretty girls. The girls, as
they looked at the plate, all seemed as
tonlshed and amused, and the young
man taking glance at the plate, found
that instead of shilling, he had put a
conversation lOzenger on the plate.
with the words will you marry me 2
IN red letters, staring everybody in the
face. None Of the young ladies, how
ever, closed in with the offer.
Dsg~ A woman says what she pleases
without being knocked down for it
She can take snooze after dinner,
while her husband goes to work she
can go into the street without being
asked to stand treat at every saloon
She can stay at home in time Of war.
and get married again if her husband
gets killed. She can wear corsets if
too thick, and other fixins if too thin.
She can get divorced from her husband
whenever she sees one she likes better
She can get her husband in debt all
over until he warns the public not to
trust her on his account. But all these
advantages are balanced by the great
fact that she cannot sing bass, 20 spark
ing, or climb a tree with any degree OF
propriety.
Too Good to be Lost-A good Joke is
related of couple of members of the
West Virginia Legislature, which is
worth relating In conversation one
day on the subject ofthe Lords Prayer,
one offered to bet the other five dol
lars that he did not know it. The bet
was accepted, and, by agreement, the
Legislator was to repeat it. lie com
menced as follows:
Now | lay me down to sleep,
pray the Lord my soul to keep,
If | should die before | wake,
pray the Lord my soul to take
We'll, | declare, exclaimed the as
tonished Legislator, you have won
the bet, but I'll be hanged if thought
you knew it, and forthwith handed
over the five dollars, to the great
amusement Of a number of gentlemen
present.
Spicy.-There was knot of sca-cap.
tains in a store at Honolulu, the keep
er Of which had just bought barrel
OF black pepper Old Captain -, OF
Salem, came in, and seeing the pepper.
took up handful Of it. +
What do you buy such stuff as that
for" said he to the storekeeper it's halt
peas
Peas ? replied the storokeeper :;
there isn't pea in it
Taking up a handful as he spoke, he
appealed to the company. They all
looked at it, and plunged their hands
INTO the barrel, and bit a kernel or so.
and then gave it as their universal
opinion, that there wasn't a pea in it. ,
/ tell you there is,' said the old cap !
ain, again scooping up handful and 2
LII bet a dollar on it,
The old Boston argument all over
he world. They took him up.
We'll, said he, spell that pointing
% the word Pep e r. painted on
,he side Of the barrel. IF it isn't half
D's then Pm no Judge, that's ALL
The bet WAS paid