davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1867-07-30
Reparator Capilli.


Throw away your false frizzes, your switches,
your wig
Destructive of cemfort, and not worth fig:
Come aged, come youthful, come ugly and fair,
And rejoice in your own luxuriant hair.
REPARATOR CAPILLI,
For restoring hair upon bald heads (from
whatever cause it may have fallen out) and
forcing growth of hair upon the face, it has
no equal 1t will force the beard to grow
upon the smoothest face in from five to eight
weeks, or hair upon bald heads in from two
to threesmonths. A few ignorant practition-
ers have asserted that there is nothing that
will force or hasten the growth of the hair
or beard. Their aesertiore
--------~--e, are IaIHe, as
thousands of living witnesses (from their own
experience) can bear witness. But many will
say, how are we to distinguish the genuine
from the spuriousY 1t certainly is difficult, ,as
nine-tenths of the different Preparations ad.
yertised for the hair and beard are entirely
worthless, and you may have already thrown
away large amounts in their purchase. To
such we would sag, try the Reparator Capillii
it will cost you nothing unless it fully comes
up to our representations. If your Druggist
does notskeep it, send us one dollar and we
will send it, postpaid, together with receipt
for the money, which will be returned you on
application, providing entire satisfaction is
not given. Address,
w. L. CLARK & co., Chemists.
No. 8 West Fayette ST., SYRACUSE, N. Y.
feb12ly
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1867-07-30
Business Gard s.
O h IS ayLI

=. 0 h, SayIl
oan gon'see By the dawn's early light,
W w. JORDAN. of Roodsfeld,a,
prepared to put up Spouting and Roofing
e rates. F's-o-'
He eslsosmanafsctures ard Reeps ON hand
an assertnent OF
COPPER, TtN1SHEET IRON WARE
eo0sng Stoves, Once Stoves. Grates.lFenders,
8 II O L L o w w A r r
sofs every description. His old customers and
the public generally are invited 10 cali and
examlne his seosisS ard prices. Place of bu.
siness opposite Brxss' store. msy7',e7
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1867-07-30
HALLS
VEGETABLE SICILIAN
HAIR RENE WER.

1t IS an entirely new scientific discovery, combining
many of the most powerful and restorative agents
in the vegetable kingdom.
We have such confidence in its merits, and are
so sure it will do all we claim for it. that we offer
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1867-07-30

Blank Deeds and Mort
cages for sale at this office.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1867-07-30

rassed April 8, 1857.
APPS, ,'67m6.
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1867-07-30

This Company has now Capital by lien on
~
sac o o OO.
Its
Detached property Farm Buildings
Mills Factories Wooden
similar hazard 1t is the chief aim of the Directors
10
to settle al losses promptly and fairly and soliciting patronage firm
that
Its policy holders and at cheaper rates than
DIR OF ORs
Fl. B. HILL L. L. FRED, f. A IAMpNe Cup1s w n,,cr,
I. hoEHLER, ISAAC ELsH JAS r. NORRIS ii. c.
j. T. JUDKINs, JOHN NJ RowNDs PETER H.
S.
FL. B. HILL President {. KoEHLER Treasurer Sc,esorv
EgW HoAIsrER Travelling Agent June "a 1855 ~ .
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1867-07-30
MONROE MUTUAL INSURANCE COMPANY
wooDsFIELD, Onto.
OF G. "A I2ED I'm as5a.
Office, Two doors South Of the Court House.
$ q o o, o O..

This Company has Capital, in Premium Notes s
Real Estate, of
The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1867-07-30

lMsristta Times copy and charge this Ofioe.l
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1867-04-02

Colonel ]. H MCMAHON, in name and
nature a noblemsn, is the Dean of the
Memphis Press, a Veteran who should
have been before now retired with a for
tune, but is left, like most C~Onfederates,
with no other capital, be says, than bis
brains and characterize which we add,
and hosaof friends.
We dS4iot name him to give him as
sistance in the new business wherein, as
his card in another column shows, be
has engaged; because he is too well
known and too well liked to need the
encomiums of any one. On the con-
trary, We pay him only the just tribute
which the Press Of Memphis owes to a
Veteran who has deserved well of the
Republic and Is entitled to rest upos his
shield, and which the APPEAL espe-
cially owes to one whose name was once
Synonymous witb-its own.
The Company Of which he is the
Agent needs no other guarantee of its
responsibility than the name Of JAMES
Fl. LUCAS, who is not only q man OF
ample wealth, but of uusiained integrity
and honour, and who in his prosperity
has never forgotten those who were his
friends in the days when he needed
friends. True TO them, he will be al
ways true to those who trust in him
We DO not know which Is 70 be esteemed
the more fortunate ia the connection
announced, the st. Louis Mutual Life
Insurance Company, OF Colonel Nc
Auo
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1867-04-02

A
Exercise of the right Of eminent
domain in 1t. That takes The land.
Taxation collects the money. A corpora-
ton may be invested by the State with
its right Of eminent domain. 1t may
have power to tax, or by assessment col
leet the means to make improvements.
1t cannot order individuals or corpora
tions to pave streets. The Court expressly
said, in the case last cited, "The valid
ity Of the assessmentin question cannot
be maintained as-an exercise of the
power of eminent domain and it cannot
be maintained at all unless il be a legiti-
mate mode of taxatlon.n The Illinois
Court fell into a grave error in treating
the sssessment in the case before them,
as an exercise Of the right Of eminent
domain.
We have neither interest or concern
in this case except to see the streets
paved, beyond that interest which every
subject has to see the law justly admin
istered. OF course, we all have stock in
that, as in the public morality.
And we new repeat, what we have
said before. No controversy like that
between the city and the Railroad Com
pany should delay the paving a day. II
is the duty of the city to do it imHledi.
Gteb. Let the people hold the Mayor
and Aldermen responsible. Let the
Company be assessed, justly and fairly.
its proportion of the cost, according &c
the value Of its franchise aud use Of the
street. If it disputes its li&bility, or The
reasonableness of the assessment, let IL
20 to the Courts. The people have
nothing to do with tie Company in re-
spect to the paving Of the streets, any
more than with the owner or occupant
Of 8 particular store.
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1867-04-02

NEW ORLEANS, April Lection ac-
tive and frmer sales $500 ha'es; low
middling, 2S4G29e; receipts, 4574 bales
| exports, So bales. Sugar and mOlasses,
dull and unchanged. Flour, superdne
firm higher grades scarce and in re-
quest low grades dull superfne, SO so.
! Corn in demand for good and sound,
which have advanced 2lG5c. Pork,
active and advanced soc. Lard, active
and 4c higher. Gold I344. Sterling,
45@46s. New York sight, to { pre-
MUM.
ST.. LOUIS, April Tobacco, quiet
and unchanged. Flour, in good demand
at full prices. Wheat, stiff and I'M
changed. Corn, higher but slow, rang
ing from 96e9S1 05. Oats, higher but
inactive, 73@T5c. Barley and rye, IN
changed. Provisions, dull and IN
changed. Whisky, steady, 81 Is.
CINCINNATI, April 1.-Cotton dull and
nominal; middllng, 27@27@c, no de-
mand. Flour unchanged fancy brands,
SlS@I6. Wheat unchanged; No. /
spring, s. 5592 so; winter, 81 80. Corn,
in bulk, SS6S9c. Oats advanced, 5SG
SOC, Mol bulk or elevator; SIC in sacks.
Rye scarce. Whisky dull, 81 264. Pro-
visions firm; pork, SD 1923; bulk
hAUatoI D@A4iN1 hSIOhf o1NlAA2C 6AOAl-
ders, 12@l2lc; sides, clear ribs and clear
sides and hams, Isle for plain l5@l5lc
for sugar cured. Lard, l2s@lSe. Gro
ceries steady. Sugar, lI49l4e. Coffee,
22G27c. Clover seed, SO so.
New YORK, April Lection drOop-
ing sales 1000 bales; uplands 3093Ic,
closing at the inside rates. Flour dull
and droopisg at SO T09i0 20 for super
fine state and western. Whisky quiet
and unchanged. Wheat dull at 50 479 |
Q As for No. 2 Milwaukee. Corn active
and 1c better mixed western 81 100
/ 20 in store. Rice quiet Carolina I0a
Coffee quiet but firmer at l0l@l
10g. Molasses quiet Muscovado 500
sic. Mess pork S22 25@24. Money
and firm at 70 for call loans.
Sterling quiet at S3G9. Gold 81.
LOUISVILLE ApriIl.-ISbaec0, steady;
sales Of 80 hhds at g 259IS 25 for esm-
Jugs to selections. S~uperiHe flour,
So 509I0 25. Corn, 73975e for shslled
in bulk ear, zoe in bulk. Mess pork,
s22 50@22 rs; bacon shoulders, 9s@94c;
clear sides, l239l24c; bulk meats,
shoulders, S@Slc. Raw whisky &e.
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1867-04-02
AMUsEMEnTs.
NEW MEMPHIS THEATBR
Lessee and Managsr-w. c. THOMPSON.

Second appearance Of The areat American Ac
trsss, Ms D 2. BOWEnS. assisted by ?
The talented young actor, Mr..
4 G. M0CTfIITrM
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1867-04-02
ro ~ 1900 oF - LII

TO THE PAEttOhH VI
IN consequence OF judicial p~rOoeeainss' mao ~
respect 10 the interests Of different parties IN
the APPEAL. the pepper, The printing es'ao-
1isbment and tie good VIII orthe p have
nssn sold. and the undersigned have become
the purchasers, or
Every possible exe-tion viii be made 10 rehosI
The APPEAL more acceptable to its readers
spa more desirable as a medium % adyeT-
p.,n~ Much more space win be devoted e
reading matter, and 3 special column be ap-
propriated weekly to Masonic Information.
The undersigned hope, by close attention to Tie
affairs OF the paper and Office, 70 give il
claims equal to those OF any b journal o.
The c.ty 70 the support and confidence OF th'
community.
JOHN s. c. HOGAN & CO.
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1867-04-02

An~
Amid all the calsmities by land and
sea that We have been visited with,
probably none Ras,eaused so serious q
disturbance in coIa 1IeTcial circles as the
unparalleled losses to the fire and marine
insurance companies. The former have
been literally stripped Of all surplus
funds, there are some xceptions,-and
have, In many instances, fallen back
on the capital stock to protect their
patrons, which Immediately made
them amensbles to the law and
special acts Of the legislature were
beseeehed 10 reduce their original stock
and place theni 10 legal working order.
The marine companies have stood up
under their Fn~isfortUnes manfaily, and
hope, by prudence on their part and an
interposiug providence, to weather the
gale. But Is Il not little singular that.
while these two enterprises have suffered
rs never before Known, the life comma
mics have prospered beyond al ~ealcnla-
ton? Il Is absolutely astounding to look
over the array Of lacts and figures pre-
sented by some OF these companies for a
single years business. Never before In
The history of life insurance ia this U
try have such heavy dividends BEEN
awarded to stock and policy holders.
SOUTHERN RELIEF FUND.
The southern relief fund grows rradu-
ally. il g amounts to over SICO. 900.
from all ~auxiliaries; but it will be
doubled before the LIST Of Nav. RIr
Leonard w. Jerome is giving theatrical
entertainments in his private theater for
the benefit Of the unfortunate ones,
the whole expenses Of which be
defrays. Already has he turned over
thousand dollars 10 the commit.
tee. Very praiseworthy.
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1867-04-02
MEMPHIS APPEAL
ro ooRHEsPoNDNNTs.

M ro,ios csp be taken OF Anonymous Com
w,,fcsaops. wha;everi is Intended iofin-
.s-ttoh IN the APPEAL, must be authenti-
eated by the name and addfess OF the
wrtar-not necessarily for publication, but
"A ! guarantee Tor his good faith and re-
sponslbnity.
An buslnes letters for this once should BE aa'
dressed to " THE APPEAL" Memphis.
An Communications for publication must bt
written on one side o. ne page, and win
all other matters conHected with the edho-
rial department, should be addressed; EDl'
TORS OF APPEAL. Memphis
We cannot, as & role, u~ndertaketo return arr
cles not found suitable for publication.
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1867-04-02
TO MY OLD FRIENDS
Vest Tennessee, Mississippi
and arkansas.

HAVING accepted q permanent Agency n,
II the ST. LOUIS MUTUAL / TSsTf-
RANCE COMPANY, ! would respectfully aSk
the attention OF my old Tiends to that Instftn
ton as a safe, certain and reliable mejinm
through which they may assure their fsmllieS
against.e ant Ia the event OF DEATH. or them-
Of ul-success In HE
Mir. N-S. OTIS l. associated With me and n
hereby 70 public o nddenee
room .DeS0io Block. where we viii Be- kenrv
10 impart any needed Information 10 thoss ~
sizing Life Insurance.
mhM 3m -
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1867-04-02
NOTICE.

TUE Undersigned being appointed By the
Il Honorable Chancery CoaTt Of the CITY or
memphis 70 collect al notes, bhls and accounts
Qua the nrm ef N. ChristaL Memphis, Tenn.
90 hereby notAE all perSQ1B indebted 10 the
said ChFat to SNl ~ the Citizens Union
Bank, MOL A~Hdiso1Nsfeet, and pay the same
THOMAS BARRETT,
~ aDZ sd Rarafror
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1867-04-02

THE following was found posted on the
wall OF a-eOuntry pOstoffice:
LosT-a red KAT Had a white sDot
on one Of bis behind legs. He was q She
kaf. ] will Civ tire dollars to evriboddi
Wot vii fotch bYIn hom.n
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1867-04-02

ST. LOUIS, April LA meeting ofthe
citizens is to be held at the board Of
trade r0ams tonight TO devise means to
rebuild the Lindeil hotel.
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1867-04-02
Attention. Sir Knights .

A sPE IAL CoNCL AVE Of cyTene A
Templnr. will be held in their Asylum, NY
No. "a Front street. on Wednesday NV
eyeoing April 30. at IL O'clock FOR =
prompt in attendance ana appearin Fatigue
ORES"
Yisising Sir Knigbts are Nterpally invited.
By order Of AUHN I'M Il. T..
". Z WIGsN. RecoreT. ap2 =
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1867-04-02
Southern Hotel!

WEare authorised to LEASE this spacious
W and well rranged Hotel, situated on the
corner OF Main and Real streets. THis house
guests.
TO an experienced aud nsponsible hotel
keeper the rent " II be madE sxeeedin0tv ioU
We Will sell the EurniturX which la ca1 niasa
sna nearly new tdthe pSffy renting the house,
MONsARRkTk MoEraoNERy
Real Estate Brokers.
apz4t No 10 Ayres BuiIdfr9.
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1867-04-02
%. -. InrenlIon.

a clergyman overlook an emigraut
who was journeyiDg with his family 10
the fertile regions of the Mississippi.
Al his worldly goods were packed on
wagons and on one OF the wagons
taere hung a huge jug with the
bottom knocked out. He asked him
Why be carried that jug with him.
That's my Taylor jug, said he.
And what is a Taylor jug?" asked
my friend Why" said he. a. had
2 son with Gen.. Tsylor's army ia
Mexico, and the old gineral told him 10
always carry his whisky jug-with a hole
in the bottom. Since that time Ihave
carried my jug az yousee it, and I find IL
is the very best invention I ever met
with"
1t is said that, in his beautiful resi-
dence at Bridgeport, Barnum has no
relic or sign OF his long life as a show
man, except a marble bust OF Jenny
Lind.
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1867-04-02
SEED POTATOES.

A 7 ? meeting OF the Directors OF the MER
"a CHANTS, NATIONAL BANK, held thi
day, II was ordered
"That a Seini-Anudaf dividend OF Ten pei
cent upon It's CapiA Stock be declared pas a
bic on demand. frfe OF Goysrnms nt tax and
that the Surulu5E und o. the Bank be increased
10 Thirty ThoupAnd Dollars
In RecordaRee with above, Stockholders ars
notified that they can apply for their dividend,
on and after the Sd inst.
MamphIs, April /, 1867. apa fw
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1867-04-02

G0ON Two STORY DOUBEE HnTeK
"A BUILDING, suitable for a Brew ?. Disfu-
lery or other m~auuiactorg. Also. Dvellusz
constantly for rent. A. CDRnE-
mhO2w IS Trout street.
Hill cottage 4Or Rent.
WE wHfseH fr ons yea& - by RE Eonfh.
w a very s~uug<Esfrage ON Avery street. and
a. very reasonable ratra-- Ann TO
R0ESFER, TREZENANT CO
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1867-04-02
FER RENT.
no II r In r.
FOE RENT.

AFRONT ROOM on Uaion street between.
Main and Second STREETS. Apply ~
~ WALKER WOOD.
at22e No. 70 Madison -treei. MP stairs
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1867-04-02
HOTEL for REM

SOUTHERN HOTEL for RENT
The above house win be rsnted 10 responsible
parties also, the Furniture for sale. To uar-
Ties keeping the house On The European plan.
great Inducements VIII be given Nccouluoda-
ton for 20 gues g. Apply 10 7. T. HTGHES.
Citizens Union Bank p Madison slest
mis- lW
Tor RENT new Cottage on Alien
L avenue, caose 20 Vance street. Of 5 u8oms.
yard, good c-stern. etc. Rent mndera-pos-
session Immediately Also, a new Brick, cor
ner OF Second and Uverfou eight rooms Tee
place IN every room and every rom 3 front
roem splendid place for q resident physician.
Possession ist or ApaL O. ". POOL Rental
and zeal Estate Age1t. l1 Mei1 mh2s I'm
Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1867-04-02
-HoSr-F0uND.
e1n-R ARLp

Stolen or sfyayed rom The Worsham Hose
4 NEW FOTNDLAND hog. about Q ulgnr1s4
Old. perfectly black and web-f011aI- Above
reward vii Re paid by me on delivery 81 rha
Dog Lmhla IL M.deSHAM
The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1867-05-01

THE AGE oE HoRsEs.-A gentleman from
Illinois gave US piece of information in re-
gard to ascertaininy the age of horse, after
he or she has passed the ninth year, which
was new to US and NAV be to most of our
readers After the horse is nine years old, a
wrinkle comes on the eyeId-at the upper
after he has one ell-defned wrinkle for each
year over nine. IF, for instance, a horse has
three wrinkles. he is twelve; If four. he is
thirteen Add the number Of wrinkles to
nine and you will always getit. So says the
gentleman and heis confident it will never
fail As great many people have horses
over cine it is easily tried. If true, the horse
dentist must give up his trade. Exchange.
The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1867-05-01

BEHIND THE WooDPILE.-A minister in
MARYLAND was called to the door one bitter
cold nj hit in January, by a young man who
asked him to perform the marriage service.
..Certainly," said the minister. when do
YOU REQUIRE nv services ?" . Immediately"
was the reply. :. But where is. the bride Z.
inquired the astonished pastor. Why
said the groom. Sal was 50 bashful she hid
herself behind the woodpile till | had asked
YOU to tie the knot Come out, Sal" Being
thus admonished, the blushing bride came
forth from her place Of concealment, followed
her affianced into the parsonage, and the low
ing pair we're soon made happy.
The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1867-05-01
Soor AS MANURE.-Eyery owner or occu-

Soor AS MANuRE.-Eyery owner or occu-
pant of house has a considerable quantity of
SCOT at command, the presence of which in
the stove pipe or chimney is often the cause Of
destructive fires, causing sometimes loss of
property and life. SCOT is one Of the most
valuable manH4es, and nothing but the moss
cu|pable carelessness and Indifference will sui.
fer it to remain a standing menace to life and
property, when it can be easily removed and
turned to good account in the field or garden.
Twelve quarts of SCOT in hogshead of water
will make a powerful liquid manure, which
will improve the growth of flowers, garden
vegetables or root crops. In either liquid or
solid state it makes an excellent top dressing
for grass or cereal crops.
The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1867-05-01

BAcHELoR1sM-Th world is much given to
throwing missiles at bachelors; but what care
they for such rldicule or the worlds dread
laugh 2? For perfect freedom and unques-
toned independence, bachelors life forever.
Un,rammeled as the winds, he goes where he
lists, and is answerable to no one. He comes
home at unreasonable hours, and there is no
one to modest or make him afraid nobody's
comfort to consult but his own; nobody's in
clination to follow nobody's bills to pay but
his own, and nobody's baggage to look after,
if he chooses to travel, except his own modest
vaIise, containing his own still more modest
apparel What if there is a button missing
here and there is it not his own beyond gain
saying Or cavl Married men as general
thing will advise their bachelor friends to take
wives. They do this, may we not suppose,
upon the principle Of the fox. who having lost
his tail, cut off by a stee'trap, made most
strenuous efforts to convince other foxes that
short tails were fashionable. Goodman Star
The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1867-05-01
Flowers and Vines in the House.

There are many beautiful botanical expert
ments which can be conducted in the house
during winter, which are not embraced gener-
ally in the list of flowers and our parlors and
windows.
How many of the fair readers Of the Tele
graph have the beautiful vine of the sweet
potato running over their mantle shelf? This
pretty sight can be enjoyed by placing sweet
potato in a tumbler, or other glass vessel,
filled with water, passing Il pin through the
tuber. so as to keep the lower end from one to
two inches from the, bottom of the vessel.
Keep en- the mantle shelf, in a warm room,
and every day give it sun for an hour Or two,
and in few days rootlinys will begin to "p-
pear, aiming for the bottom Of the vessel, and
in two or three weeks the eye will begin to
shoot and rapidly grow and run upon snspen-
dcd Irvine or any little trells work prepared
for it. The dioScorea babatas is the prcttiest
for this purpose, when it can be obtained.
The morning glory" can be propaga'ed
in parlor windows, where there is some sun,
to perfection during the winter; it flowers
with It's natural coIors, and the delicate little
vine can be made to run over the window. A
hanging vase is the pretliest for this.
Suspend an acorn by cotton thread so as
nearly to ouch the water in a glass vessel
IA hyaciHth glass is perhaps the best, set upor
the window or mantle, and let 1t remain there
for eight or ten weeks, more or less, without
being interfered with, exceptto supply evapo
ration of the water. and the acorn will burst
and as it throws A root down into the water. a
sprout or stem will be sent upward, throwing
out beautiful little green leaves; thus giving
you an oak tree, in full life and health, within
your parlor.
There are many of the MOSES which can BE
very successfully grown in the house through
the winter, and, with the foregoing. afford ar
interesting and refined enjoyment for the fem
mines of family, and real pleasure to al
who have a taste for the beautiful.
The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1867-05-01
AN OLD MAIDS DEFINIr1oN.-Al

AN OLD MAIDS DEF1SIrloN.-An elderly
maiden, who has suffered from disappolnt-
n,ents, thus defines the human race:
Mana conylomerate mass Of hair, tobacco
smoke confusion, conceit and boots. Won
an-The waiter, per force, on the aforesaid
animal Husband-An instrument constructed
to growl over shirt buttons that arn't there. -
Wite-A machine for darniny socks. sewing
on shirt buttons, and making buildings and
other things. Fathcr-A being who thrashes
the BOYS, and won't fork over" as his fair
olive branches desire. Mother-A pleasant
s6ng-a sweet vision of childhood. Child
A compound of delightful and distressing ee-
ments Baby-An invention for keeping peo-
pie awake at night, and for the agsrandise-
n1ent of washerwemen.