Nebraska advertiser., 1867-12-19
Miscellaneous
The RiRIe. S

N~ONNNNN0ON
The Bible.
Who composed the following descrip'
tion Of the Bible we may never know.
il was found in Westminster Abbey,
nameless and d~ateless:
A nation would be truly happy if il
were governed by no other laws than
those Of this blessed book.
Il is 50 complete a system that moth
ing can be added to it.
Il contains everything needful TO be
known or done.
{ Il affords a copy for a king and a rule
for a subject
Il gives instruction TO a senate, au-
thority and direction to a magistrate.
It cautions a witness, requires an i'm
partial verdict of a jury, and furnishes
the Judge with bis sentence.
Il sets tie husband as lord OF the
household, and wife as mistress of the
table-tells him how TO rule, and how to
manage.
Il entails honor to parents, and en-.
joins obedience on children.
Il prescribes and limits the sway of the
sovereign, the rule of the ruler, and the
authority Of the master-commands the
subjects to honor and the servants to o.
bay, and the blessing and protection of
the Almighty to all that walk by It's rules.
II gives directions for weddings and
bnrials.
Il promises food and raiment, and
limits the use of both.
u point out a faithful and eternal
guardian 10 the departing husband and
father-telIs him with whom to leave his
fatherless children, and whom his wild
Ow is to trust-and promises a father TO
the former, and a husband 10 the latter.
Il teaches a man to set his house IN
order. and how to make his will it. APP
points a dowry for his wife, and entails
the right Of the first born. and shows
how the young branches shall be left.
II defends the right of all, and reveals
vengeance to every defaulter. overreach-
er and trespasser.
Il is the first book, the best book, and
the oldest book in the world.
Il contains the choicest matter, gives
the best instruction, affords the greatest
pleasure and satisfaction that we ever
enjoyed.
IL contains the best laws and most pro-
found mysteries that were ever penned /;
it brings the best Of comforts to the In.
quiring and disconsOlale.
il exhibits life and Immortality from
everlasting, and shows the way of glory.
Il is a brief recital of all that is to
come.
Il settles all matters in debate, resolves
all doubts, and eases the mind and con-
science Of all their scruples.
II reveals the only living and true God
and shows the way to Him, and sets "a
side all other gods, and describes the
vanity of them, and all that trust in such,
in short, it is a book of laws, TO show
right and wrong, a book Of wisdom that
condemns all folly and makes the foolish
wise; a book of truth, that detects all
lies and comforts all errors; and a book
Of life, that shews the ways from ever
lasting death.
II contains the most ancient antiquit-
les, strange events, wonderful occurren-
ees, heroic deeds, unparalleled wars.
II describes the celestial, terrestrial
and internal worlds, and the origin of
the angelic myriads, human tribes and
devilish legions.
1t will instruct The accomplished re.
chanic and the most profound artist.
Il reaches the best rhetorician, and ex.
ercises every power to the most skillful
arithmetician, puzzles the wisest anato-
omIst, and exercises the wisest critic.
Il is the best covenant that ever was
agreed on /; the best deed that ever was
sealed the best evidence that ever was
produced; the best will that ever was
signed. To understand it, is to be wise
indeed ; to be ignorant Of it is to be des.
ti;ute of wisdom.
Il is the kings best copy, the magis.
trste's best rule, the housewives best
guide, the servants best directory, and
the young mans best companion it is
the schoolbOy's spelling-book, and the
learned mans masterpiece.
Il contains choice grammar for the
ROvine and a profound mystery for a
sage.
1t is the ignorant mans dictionery,
and the wise mans dictionary.
1t affords knowledge of witty inven-
tions for the humorous, and dark savings
for the grave, and is its own interpret
er.
Il encourages the wise, the warrior.
the swift, the overcomer and promises
an eternal reward TO the excellent, the
conqueror, the winner, and the prevail
ent. And that which crowns all is, that
the author is without Partially, and with
out Hypocrisy.
"In whom there is no ~variableness or
shadow of turning"
The following singular relationship
exists in a family now living in Ken
lucky. A father and son married two
sisters, and took their mother to board
with them. The father and wife have
a.dautghteF; the son and wife a sou.
These are the relationships: One great.
grandmother, two grandmothers, one
grandfather two fathers, three mothers.
three sons, three daughters, three aunts,
two %uncles. n nephew, one niece, three
sisters, two brothers, two cousins, two
husbands, two wives, two mothers in. law,
TWO sons-in-law.
A man having lost a quarter of NUT
ton by q lawyers dog, repaired TO the
Office Of the lawyer and said {: II have
come TO ask a piece of advice. Suppose
n = L. - -ee-