Clarksville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1865-1867, 1867-03-29
The Old Woman and the Crow.

The following amusing anecdote, which
has never yet appeared in print, struck me Us
containing point so keenly satirical, that
determined to write it down and have it pla-
ced on the records 1t is told me by one
who was both an eye and ear witness, and
who, Of course speaks from the book, The
story will lose much Of its righteousness in
my style of writing, and his of telling it, but
here goes
At certain cross roads, in the State of
Alabama, stood a small grocery or whisky
shop, previous to the rebellion, where bust
head and 'chain-lightnng' were dealt out TO
the thirsty, unwashed, at the small sum of
five cents a drink, or twenty-five cents a
quart. The presiding genius Of this delecta-
bic institution, was one Bill Strikes, who
among various other pets had adomesticated
crow, black as the ace Of spades. This crow
had learned, among other things, 10 repeat
quite plainly the words damn you'll, which
he of course heard frequently repeated in the
grocery. During the prevalence of knock
down and drag out fight one day, however,
the crow was frightened from home and flew
to the woods, never TO return again.
About three miles from the grocery was a
settlement meeting-house--a old tumble
down, dilapidated affair, only used on certain
occasions when a circut.rider happened to
pass that way. In this building went the
crow, taking peacable possession and two
days thereafter the church was thrown open
for preaching, and large crowd assembled,
among whom was a very old lady, who was
compelled to use crutches in walking, who
took her seat in the front pew, and was
soon deeply absorbed in the cloque nee of the
preacher. The reverend gentleman scarcely
got uuder full Roadway, and commenced
laundering his anathemas at all grades OF
sinners, when hoarse, cracking voice from
above uttered the ominous words:
Damn your
The preacher and congregation looked
aghast at such profanity, and each peered in
his neighbours face To detect some sign OF
guilt. Quiet was at length restored, howev-
er, and the sermon proceeded, but ere ten
minutes had elapsed the ominous damn you
again electrified the audience, and Just n
the preacher cast his eyes upwards to search
tor the delinquent the crow flew down from
his perch, and lighting on the bible, calmly
surveyed the terrified crowd, ms he gave an
other doletul croak;
Damn youf
Inc eject was electrical. tlVlng ont
startled and terrified glance nj the intruder
the preacher spang through window, car
rying sash, glass and all with him, and Sc
oil at n break neck pace through the woods
closely followed by his horror-stricken con
gregation who had piled out of the building
pell nell after him. IN the general scramble
the old Lady with the clutches had beer
knocked down in the church, where she lay
enable 10 rise, and on seeing her. the crow
(who was after something to eat) Kew dow
icside her, and cooking his eyes at her yer.
knowingly, again croeked:
'Ddwn your
The old lady eyed him savagely for a few
moments and burst forth in tone Of reck
less defiance:
'Yes--dUd damn you tool had nothing
to do with getting up this Methodist meeting
and you know il, toop
The poor old soul had mistaken the GRO,
for the devil aud concluded to propitiate
possible, the wrath of his Satanic majest
10y denying all completely in the affair, Tn
world is full of just such people ChattdnoC
"a Gazette