The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1867-08-08
KENosHA, WISCONSIN, THURSDAY, AUGUST 8, 1867

Something for the Admirers of Base Ball.
An editor who joined base ball club act
off the following
Look at that brace of hands, once soft anC
pretty, now suffused with Egyptian bushes
Look into those optics and tell us tales O
! sympathy. And look at that Mount Tom OF
our right cheek-bone. Base ball That i!
the row.
1t came about thus. Secondary deployment
is too shirksome on the system The doctor
said we needed exercise. Doctor knows. He
told us to join base ball we joined. Bought
a book constructions, and for five days stud
led wisely if not too WELL Then we bought g
sugar-scoop cap, AIRED belt, green shirt, yel
low trousers, pumpkin colored shoes, paper
collar and purple necktie, and with lot
of other delegates moved gently to the
ground.
| There were two mines. These mines were
antagonists. The ball is pretty little drop
ofsoftness, the size of a goose egg, and five de-
grees harder than a rock The two mines play
against each other. It is a quiet game, much
like chess, only little more like chase than
chess.
There was an umpire. His position is hard
one. He sits on box and yells fowl" His
dutyis severe. -
took the bat. 1t is murderous plaything,
descended from PocahOntas to the the head of
John Smith. The man in front of me was a
pitcher. He was a nice pitcher, but he sent
the balls hot. The man behind me was a catch
er. He caught it too!
Umpire said 'play" II is the most radical
pIag know Of, this base ball. Saving cord
wood is moonlight rambles beside base ball.
So the pitcher sent a ball towards me. 1t look
ed pretty coming, so I let it come. Then he
sent another. hit it with the club, and hove
it gently upward. Then 1 started to walk to
the first base. The ball lit in the pitcher or in
his hands, and somebody said he caught fly.
Alas, poor fly walked leisurely toward the
base. Another man took the bat. 1 turned
to see how he was making it,and mule kick
ed me on the cheek The man said it was the
ball. It felt like mule, and reposed on the
grass. the ball went on
Pretty soon there were two more flies, and
three of us flew out. Then the other nine
came in and us nine went out, This was bet
ter. Just as l was standing on my dignity in
the left field, a hot ball, as they call it, came
skyrocketing toward me. My Captain yelled, !
"take itm
FASTENED gently forward to where the ball
was aiming to descend. have good eye to
measure distances, and saw at a glance where |
the little arolite was to light. put up my |
hands. How sweetly the ball descended. Ev-
erybody looked-I felt something warm in my !
eye "Muffin p yelled ninety fellers; Muffin /,
be id It's a cannon ball ~ For three days |
I've had two pounds of raw beef on that eye,
and yet it paineth!
Then l wanted to 90 home, but my gentle
Captain said may" So 1 mayed and stayed.
Pretty soon it was my strike. ''to bat p yell
ed the umpire. went, but not all serene, as
was my wont. The pitcher sent in one hip
high 1t struck me in the gullet. "Fowl,"
yelled the umpire. He sent in the ball again.
This time took it square and sent it down
the right field, through the parlor window-a
lamp and rip up against the head
of an infant, who was quietly taking its-nap
in his or it's mothers arms. Then slung the
bat and meandered forth on the first base. I
heard high words and looked When I slung
the bat had with it broken the jaw of the
umpire and was fined ten cents.
The game went on. 1 liked it. 1t is SO much
fun to run from base to base just in time to be
put out, or to chase ball three -fourths of
mile down hill, while all the spectators yell
muffin p ego it p "home run p ego round
again p or ego round a dozen times ~ Base
ball is sweet little game. When it came my
turn to bat again, I noticed everybody move
back about ten rods! The new umpire retreat
ed twelyerods He was timid. The pitcher
sent 'em in hot Hot balls in time of war are
good But don't like 'em too hot for fun.
After while got a fair clip at it, and you
bet it went, cutting the daisies down the right
field A fat man and his dog sat in the shade
Of an oak enjoying the game. The ball broke
one leg of the dog and landed like 9 runaway
engine in the corporosity of the fat man. He
was taken home to die.
Then went on double quick to the field,
and tried to stop q hot ball. 1t came toward
me from the bat at the rate of nine miles
minute. I put up my hands-the ball went
sweetly singing on its way with all the skin
from my palms with it.
More raw beef.
That was an eveutful chap who first invent
ed base ball. It's such fun. I've played five
games, and this is the result:
Twenty -seyen dollars paid out for things.
One bunged eye, badly bunged.
One broken little finger.
One bump on the head.
Nineteen lame backs.
A sore jaw.
One thumb dislocated.
Three sprained ankles.
Five swelied legs.
One dislocated shoulder, from trying to
throw the ball thousand yards.
Two hands raw from trying to stop hot
balls h
A lump the size of a hornets nest on lift hip
we'll back
A nose swectly damned, and five uniforms
spoiled from rolling in the dirt at the bases.
have played two weeks, and don't think L
like the game. There is not square inch
On in or under me but aches. I sleep nights
dreaming ofhot balls, ''hys," 'fouls'' and de-
scending "sky rockets" never worked SO
hard since Ruth stole wheat and never was SO
lame since the burning of Luther.
But am proud of my proficiency in the
game. It's fine exercises little easier than
being run through threshing machine, and
not much, either. It's nice game for poet
or orator-'twill make one sore beyond all ac-
counts.
I've looked over the scorers book and find
that in two weeks I've broken several bats,
made one tally, broken one umpire's jaw,bro
ken ten windows in adjoining houses, killed
baby, broke the leg ola dog, and MORALLY in
I1rinc the hnc lrn+n Of al knock