Smyrna times., 1867-03-13
MIS- SCELLAN NEO US.
A PARENTHESIS OR TWO.

Love me, love my dog" A wise adage,
| dare say. | don't at all mind their loving
me, but [ have the strongest objection to their
loving my dog-when, as in this instance, my |
dog is represented by my wife. | am an old |
bachelor just returned from my honeymoon,
and | should be intensely happy under such
circumstances, we're it not that the men who,
until now, have contented themselves with low
| ing me land it is pure justice to them to men,
! tlon that they never made their affection for
me unpleasanHy conspicuous, have now taken
to loving my wife. can never go out with
out the conviction that, on my return, l shall
probably find that Tom, Dick, or Harry, ofmy
bachelor days, has just dropped in to see his
old friend, and that, finding me from home
It., D., and H. cannot be taught to remember
my club nights, the obiging visitor has re-
mained to enjoy gossip with my pretty wife.
And the worst of it is, she likes it! She
laughs and pouts, and declares she is never
, sure of having minute to herself; but she
does mt care to have minute to herself, or
she could have it, and would have it. Is Not
at home" so hard to say? She has already
caused it to be said to some of my relations
| know that
But she IS such little humbug Il suppose
all women are to'a certain extent. l believe
coquetry to be innate with her. In her infan-
cy she had her baby lovers, one of whom she
would always contrive to render so sulky
miserable for an afternoon, that the unfortu
, nate little aspirant for her favors would bt
put in the corner for Temper" by his nurse
: \ while the fair cause of the fault and punish
'S ment would play with the brother of til,
l. wretched victim before his eyes, lavishing OF
his rival her sweetest smiles, and behaving al
together with the grace Of an angel. And a
she grew up, my stars how she grew in grace
grew in beauty, and grew in coquetry! At fiji
teen she was the most finished little firt, tn
ne most heartless little humbug, l ever saw. Il
n, heartess too strong an expression? No.
verify believe she had no such thing as hear
nd during our courtship She could have ha
none, or she could never have witnessed my SUI
ferings with such consummate Indifference
by 1t was not so much that | suffered because
could never find out whether she really love
me or not, as that | suffered because | cOul
never feel sure that she did not love halt do
en- others as we'll Hateful and heartless !
Then why did L marry her? | don't know
Don't ask me)
But she has the prettiest and most lovin
ways that ever beguied man into matrimony
she has the sweetest smile, the most enchan
ds. ing laugh, the most caressiHg voice that eve
IDS, drove man to distraction. But these charm
hts, should be reserved exclusively for me, an
ins they are not. Her face Il love t) is as brig
- and sunny when raised toward Jack as whe
lgs' raised toward me- And yet Jack didn't mar
'V' her. i suspect Jack regrets that he didn
or why does he drop in so very often now?)
put it to any one. Can it be a pleasa
9:n, iGn, thing for me, when | come home tired and
n.t' well, suppose [ say cross-to find my wife s
~. ~. ting back in low chair warming her feet
the fire (she has uncommonly pretty feet, J wi
best her hair done up with cherry -colored ribbo
(she knows she looks best in cherry color
ribbons, for Jack is always telling her so) |
mp lips parted and her blue eyes eager with s.
3 pense, looking full up at Jack as he reads
. her? True, when | come in she beams at L
and makes room for my chair by her side, 9
the book is allowed to close, and the oonver
ton Il always think conversation with three
oot stupid y becomes general, till Jack finds
'''' what am convinced he would never n
discovered if l hadn't come in) that it is {
ting late and takes his departure. The inst
he is gone, up srings my wife, wheels my ca
chair round to the fire, warns my sllppe
scorching her pretty face sadly the while, RI
fortea IL dare say she and Jack has had u
and then, drawing stool close to my. s
MTG clasps her hands before her, in the old VIM
attitude that hrst took my heart by storm y
and years ago. when my darling was bu
child Ia child, what is she now?,) and S
q " And now, dear, that that stupid bore is q
tell me what you have been doing all the da
ss and Now what, | ask, is any one to say to sue
cloth. charming little humbug?)
v, | had meant to talk svery gravely to
ee' about her conduct toward my so-called friC
There particularly Jack, and had even conco
lately a sentence beginning with, You must rt
think seriously, my dear" but it is o