Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1867-03-21
Odds and Ends.

Odds and Ends.
The best capital to begin life with
is capital wife.
/ The pleasure of doing good is the
only one that never wears out.
| Don't go to church with a cough,
ard disturb the rest of the congrega-
tion. Take Cherry Pectoral, and
stop it.
"Short visits are the best" as the
fly said when he ahghted on hst
stove
An item of domestic income not
yet taxed-Incompatibility.
Why is convalescent dyspeptic
like reprieved criminal? Because
he can't di- gest yet.
Work does net wear men so much
as worry.
1t is said the ladies' waterfalls are
diminishing in size; but we dinna
ken.
What notes interest YOU most?-
Those where early falls the due.
Which is the best belle metal?-
1 Tin.
CoNTRABAND's VIEW or A HORSE
PowER.-"Golly," said he, ga boss
dsin' de work, and ride he-self."
Negroes in the north are some
times black; but many have been
among the whites SO much that they
begin to adept their "kuller."
An inventor applied to the Duke
of Wellington tor the adoption of his
bullet proof Jacket. "Put it on"
said the Duke, and ordered up SER
geant with loaded rife But the in
ventor retired without waiting fer
the trial
The Boston Post says Mary Pro-
vost, the actress, has retired with
fortune. We know of many ''pro-
vosts'' who retired with fortunes at
the close of the war.
Form no matrimonial ties in tray
cling, lest you miss your railroad
connections.
"Parents," said solemn preacher,
''yeu have children; if ysu have not,
your daughters may have"
A conscript, being told that it was
sweet to die for his Country, excused
himself on the ground that he never
did like sweet things.
A wag Of boarder complained 10
the mistress that the sun must have
gone under a cloud, when the shadow
of the chicken fell into the pot where
her broth was made.
Mr.. Punch's advice to an oldish
bachelor-Repent st leisure, and
then marry in haste.
Smith says it is curious fact that
reckless captains are the most liable
to wrecks.
An exchange is estimating how
many wagons it weuld take to carry
the national debt if it was coined in
silver The more important cues
ton is, can the government carry it
as it is?
''Why will yeu persist in wearing
another woman's hair On your head?'
asked Acid of his wife. She retort.
ed-"Why will you persist in wear
ing another Sleeps wool on your
back?"
wish you were my own dove,
And sitting on my knee;
I'd kiss your smiling lips, love,
To all e-ter-ni-tee.
Make q valiant stand against that
ugly thing, disease. By all natures
remedies, hasten to be out of it
Fight it off as long as possible, defy
It when you can, and refuse ''te hang
up your hat On the everlasting peg"
s.Donald," said Scotch dame,
oeking up to her son, "what is SLAM
ler?" ga slander, guild mother?"
Iuoth young Donald, twisting the
sorner of his plaid, "Aweel, I hardly
Ken, unless it be an ever true tale
which enc coed woman tells of an
,ther."
Polite Gentleman-Geed morning,
ir. How do you feel yourself to-
lay? Deaf G Gentleman-Very stormy
nd disagreeable. Polite Gentleman
-(Slightly astenished, but deter
mined to recover lost ground i'm
iced. How is your good wife, sir2
)eaf Gentleman-Very windy and
clustering indeed.
e bold to bring forth fruit. tho stick and
stone
It the fruit-bearing trees are flung alone.
hy word unspoken thou eanst any day
peak, but the spoken ne'er again unsay.
A Frenchman, directing the mix
ng Of his brandy, told the bar tend
r not to make it a fortnight. what
10 YOU mean ?'' said he. ''Oh, net
fortnight,-not too week J?
A German diplomatist, when No
onger young, was paying court to
-ery charming Englishwoman, and,
Nth the cumbrous gallantry of his
ace besought permission to kiss her
and. The lady, languidly assenting,
esigned her hand, and the German
aumbled at it for minute or two
The ceremony ever, came the ques-
ion: Sand that really gives you
'leasure, Monsieur" to which he
eplied with much efusion OF senti-
nent and rapturous assent. II wish
could say as much" was the al-e.
most pathetic exclamation Of the
ady.