Columbia democrat and star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1867, 1867-02-20
Opera House DutcEhEIlan ana
His Ticket.


In Chicago dwells teutonic vender OF
lager beer and bretzels, Brockmeyer by
name, genial in disposition, immense Of
stomach, careful of money by nature, unsus-
pecting at heart, but yet liable to severe ex-
citement at times. When the Opera House
drawing came off he remained firm at his
post of danger and gracefully handed out
glasses of his amber colored beverage, two
glasses for ten cents. Persons came and
went Passers by troubled with thirst saw
in his beer much to admire and rushed in
where angels feared to tread, drew their
wallets, left their stamps, slaked their thirst
and hurried on, while Brockmeyer's till
grew rich in postal.
A man passed that way who was poor
He was a newspaper man, we reckon. He
was dry, but had not the keynote to lager
in his pocket. He thirsted for beverage
he rushed in ike one from Bull Run battle
fields and gasped-
"You drew it; you drew it; the Opera
House is yours You are the lucky Dutch
man. The crowd at the Opera House is
cheering for you =
'Mein gott in Himmel das is so; take
some lager peer" and the excited teuton
drew pitcher full, showed it to the face Of
the novelist, shouted 'Mein Gott; mein
Gott; I've drawed der Opera Ouse; drinks
all ter lager peer in dis blace for l moves
dere right away" jumped over a chair,
knocked a coal stove endwise and minus hat
or coat rushed to the Opera House.
The man quenched his thirst from the
pitcher; the crowd outside seeing the teu-
ton running like mad, thought murder most
foul had been committed; rushed in, learn
ed the news, shouted to others, the seller of
Dutchman stood behind the bar and with
liberal hand dispensed beer, bretzels, bolo-
gnas, cigars, etc, and dispensed with the
stamps therefor, till the crowd became so
large he was tired out, when he left, and
others helped the new comers at the ex-
pense of the man who had drawn the Opera
House.
But soon Linden saw another sight-his
lager rolling rapidly! With howl, a yell,
bound and club there burst in upon the
crowd, poor Brockmeyer And this was his
cause of complaint
''Mein Gott Gott tam Clear out you
umbugs Out. Nixcum arouse out of
das | preak mine head over de stick of
dat tam Yankee vot makes me dat lie und
loose my lager peer! Rouse NIT i'm | no
draw Opera Ouse. no draw notink. Oh
you tam rascal who preaks mine head NIT
his stick-who make told me dat tam UNI
pug-rouse NIT all of you. | no draw OPP
era Ousc-I no draw notink-I no have
lucky ticket-by tam [ have no ticket for
notink, und by tam J preak my head NIT
de stomach of dat Yankee umbug vot dells
me das tam lie Rouse NIT you -
And with his club he soon cleard the
premises, to find nary cigar, nor bologna,
nor bretzel, nor drop of lager beer, nor
a lucky ticket Then he locked The doors,
and went talking to himself, fixing up things,
shaking up empty kegs and bottles, looking
into drawers and boxes to find but vanity
and emptiness Those who saw him say
that he looked sick, disconsolate, as he had
occasion to damn those who had been there
siuce he had been gone. Late in the day
he was sitting outside his saloon, the door
locked. looking for the man who made dat
umbug, and telling those who stopped to
condole with him-'Yes, by tam, dis Che
cago is ter tyfl. Dey draw me no Opera
Ouse, but dey draw my lager peer as cost
me more as two hundred tollars Dey eats
up mine cigars, dey schmoke my pretzels,
und dat tam rascal vot makes me dat story
goomes dis way, | links I be so sick nit
mad l do notinh, by tam la Crosse
Democrat.