Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1867-10-09
orr Omnibus aaagtt
Paris eats 200 horses per month

the more u IS. coaled the hotter 1t gets
A AJacksonyille paper cries aloud for
settlers to take land at fifty cents an
acre.
CAE English mabufacturing firm s-7es
100000 year By consuming their coal
smoke.
THG Working Farmer recommends
saWdust as bedding for oOEs s5 much
as for trees.
WHYisa fascinating woman like Q
successful gambler? Because she has
winning Ways
WY can you keep fruit better by
canning it than any other way? Be
cause you cal.
a DIsCoNsOLATE Radical says the af-
IectiOn Of the people Of California is
turned to Haight.
Why might carpenters really believe
IN no such thing as stone }? Because
they never saw it,
Is there any good reason Why side
walk fFuit-VsndeFs should not be called
gUtterperehers ?-N. 2. KslCs.
Why isa yOnng lady from boarding
school ike building committee Be-
cause she is ready to receive proposals.
THERE is an Isabella grape vine at
Indiana, Pa, which has produced this
Summer ], 200 punches Of perfect grapes.
EiBTKEE quarts Of ale per day suffced
to moisten an English workman who re-
Gently drowned himself in a ft Of de-
lirium tTemens.
In the good old times, one hundred
years ago, in New Hampshire, the bill for
" raising 2 meeting house included the
item Of S127,5 so fOE run.
A radical organ says that the Califor-
nia1 radicals forgot themselves. Well,
they only forgot what isn't now worth
remembering LOaisViELs Journal
A Kansas farmer has raised this year
On118 acres Of land 6,400 bushels of
corn, 600 bushols Of wheat, and $500
bushels of POtatoos-ail Of the value of
S5,535.
WHATEVER we may think of We
mans rights to vote and legislato, there
can be no dispute to her right to bear
arus-and the prettier the better and
more irresistible.
TIE first day little boy went to
school, the teacher asked him if hecould
spell. /" Yes, sir" he said. DWELL,
how do you spell boy z" "Oh, Just as
other folks do.
THE air of the underground railway
IN LOldon 10 so foul as to have recently
hsstened the death of a woman. Pru-
dent people avoid lOcOmOtiOn by it as
much as possible.
BOB" said a young fellow at fan
ey fair, you are missing all the sights
on this side" Never mind, Bill" re-
tOrted Bob, I'm sighting all the mis-
ses on the other"
WEY does water boil sooner in an old
sauce pan than a news one? Punch
takes i upon himself to answer this 40
truse query, by saying, " it's because the
old pans used to it.
Now the "tilting hoops" are going
cut Of fashion, let one thing be said il
their favor-the Wearers of them were
never liable to arrest for having no Wis
ible means Of support"
FHE English Parliament House Clock
is Of such magnitude that the time re-
quired to wind it up is two hours. The
dials are twenty-five feet in diameter,
and the hour bell weighs fifteen tons.
GENTLEMAN Ito boatman )-Y ou must
often, should think, get wet, do you
not Artless boatman-Yes, yer hon
or, We does, very wet, indeed but I'm
very dry just now, yer honor, and no
mistake"
A Maine paper tells of good kind Of
= man, who when asked for a subscrip-
tion to buy a chandelier for the church,
replied-What's the use of that? At
ter you get it you can't get anybody to
play on it.
A negro boy was driving a mule in
Jamaica, when the animal suddenly stop
ped and refused to bulge Won't you
90, eh p said the boy. Feel grand,
do you? I s'pOse you forget your fad
Ger was a lackass.
IT is stated by some wiseacre, that the
heart Of a man weighs nine ounces, and
that Of woman about eight As the
age increases, a mans heart will grow
heavier and the woman's lighter-some
girls lose theirs at sixteen.
The Athens Messenger says a rattle
snake measuring over six feet in length,
was killed in that neighborhood a few
days ago, by a man while moving
Upon opening the serpent it was found
to eentain thirty-seyen young snakes.
4 compile of neighbors became so in
imicaI that they would not speak to each
other; but one having been converted at
a camp meeting on seeing his former
enemy, held out his hand saying. How
dye de, Kemp? I am humble enough to
TO shake hands with a dog"
AN English paper says that alta school
st Wallsend, near Newcastle, the master
asked a class of boys the meaning of
the word appetite, when, after short
pause, one little boy said, 4 know, sir;
when I'm eatin' I'm 'appy and when
I'm done I'm tight"
A LITTLE boy, about twelve years of
age, walked off the rear platform of an
express train in Indiana, while asleep
He was missed, the train backed, and he
was found running after it, uninjured.-
When asked by his mother if he was
hurt, he said, HurtI Why, no but
I'm awful dusty"
NOTHING like love and hunger to
PTive a man mad or make him happy