The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1867-04-05

forgot EN-. Hurry up, fur yer parper
is o crackin his whip like he's in o.
mazin hurry. Did ye ever! ye nasty
stinkin var1nent, let en- fall and break?
Tribulation pom top NV tribulation;
thinkin bout the boar conscripter, eh?
Eff twarnt fur yer daddy, I'd give yer
boar conscripter; git in that cart, ur
I'll larrup you quickern you can snap
par Nv sheep-shears tergether.
Nancy! oh Nancy! SOW them taters
ginst 1 KUN, and them terbakker
seed, and don't forget to set that do
miniler en-and-and-"
Here Doodle interfered,- and the
noble trio were soon on their way,
rejoicing.
"Here we are," exclaimed the o.d
lady, "rite in Kullrrmby; I raaly
thort we'd never git here, that bulls
so tarnation slow; L alters hated bulls
anyhow, ever sence that un run ater
me, down in the Sand-hills, tracted by
my red kaliker. Yer know, I've alters
worn blue, ever sence. Speakin NV
blue, don't yer think it becomes my
complexion best? Yer don't? Why,
1 do declarl did ye ever! Jest look
ut that gal thar, traipsin pom Shat
sidewalk; I'll take peep ef it kills
me. Why, Lor, Doodle, ef she amt
got hornets nest back Nv her head.
Now, don't she caper? I wonder eff
her nanny knows she's out? I'll bet
O peck Nv raal good ingard buttons
she can't nit decent par Nv socks, ur
make an injun puddin. And that
young man walkin with her is sparkin
her, sure; 1 jest know he's cuttin his
love-teeth, and he's got the tie
tongue fever, fur he aint split word
yit; he's shame-faced, kinder like you
was, Doodle; see how he looks ut the
hole in his boot, jest rs if he didn't
know it wanted patchin. I don't
know whether he fit in the war ur
not, but he's brave fellow, sartin
sure, ur he'd meyer wear sich surva-
gerous lookin standin collars, ur stick
SO close ter that gal with the hornets
nest. This courtin is nifty ticklish
thing. Yer say it taint? Prehaps
you've forgot that I told you that the
man what married me I'D have ter ax
me. Forgot all about it, eli? Why,
Napoleon, what on yairih are We doin?
Eff he aint got his foot in the piggin
Nv butter, may I die the deth NV O
piney woods sapsucker. Thinkin bout
that boar conscripter, eh? Shet yer
mouth, you shan't sassy yer mammy,
rite here in the public road NV Kul-
lumby; I don't care whose lookin-
take that. Quit yer cryin."
Here the cart halted in front of q
dry goods store, on Main street, Ma
peleon bringing up the rear, smiling,
Mrs. Doodle, as ever, the spokesman.
"Why, how-de-do?" said the old
lady to the man who ofliciated behind
the counter. "And ye wasn't killed
in the war? why, I thort We was; ye
had purity hard time, though, didn't
YEP"
The young mans position was get
ting embarrassing, for he hadn't "ft
in the war"
"Can I serve you, madame" said
the young man. eve are selling off
at cost. Our motto is quick sales and
short profits
These remarks were unintelligible
to the old lady.
ooh, ye needn't go over everything
you've got, for haint much money,
nohow. Yer see, we didn't raise more
nur peck Nv nubbins ter the acre,
and our only pendance was the pea
crap, and that was powerful shacklin,
too. But, have ye got any shiflin? 1
don't want none NV yer quality stuff;
my tenth darter is q gwine ter jine
fortins with Lem. Adkins, and want
ter git some raal tarnation strong
stuffEsome that'll last. ye know?"
''Well, madam" said the young
man, ''here's some frst-class home
spun," clapping his hand upon a
large bolt; ''this we retail at twenty
five cents, but cheaper by the whole
sale."
"Only twenty-five cents!" exclaim-
ed the old lady. "Why, I'm resto-
nished; it's the mostest cloth for the
leastest money L ever seed. Here's
your money. Old man, take this
bolt. Good cvenin' at ye. I'll call
agin."
"Hold ON, madam!" said the clerk,
in amazement. "You are mistaken
I sell that at twenty-five cents the
yard. Why, that bolt is worth ten
dollars"
''No ye didn't" said the old lady;
81 kin provo it by Doodle. Now
what did he say?"
Young man." said Doodle, rs
solemn rs If it Mt a love-feast, "may
never be cured of the dry-tongue
fever, and feed on roasted mill-stones