davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1867-07-08
NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.
Water Wheels! Water Wheels!

best in use. Manufactured ny Val@h-
tine & Co., Fort Edward, n. Y. Prices mod
crate. Send for circular. AGENTS wanted.
The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1867-07-08

WHITE PINE COMPOUND.
GEORGE w. SWEET, NJ. D.,
Proprietor.
Prepared at the
NEW ENGLAND BOTANICAL DEPOT,
1O6 hanover Street, Boston.
Under the supervision of Rev. j. w. Po-
land.
Cloud & Akin, Wholesale Agents.
For sale by Keller & White, VIM. H P
Il. c b dwell, III. J. Schlaepfer
and by Druggists generally.
feb9 div, wilt If.
The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1867-07-08
FLAT-BOAT CARGOES.

The Rising Sun Insurance Company
OF
The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1867-07-08
GRAND GIFT ENTERPRISE
OF
p H ENIX o Ell

NINETY VALUABLE REM MS
To be given to the purchasers of either OF
the following handsome
The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1867-07-08
behring's Patent Champion Safes,

2I Broadway, corner Murray Street,
New York.
The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1867-07-08

Great New England Remedy
DIR. J. w. POLAND'S
WHITE PINE

US nov OFFERED TO THE A.
ficted throughout the country, after
having been proved by the test of eleven
years in the New England States, where
It's merits have become as well known as
the tree from which, in part, ii derives its
virtues.
The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1867-07-08

TyT CARDS-The mos nmusing
IA4 thing out. splendid article for parIor
amusement. New hin ,ust out. Price rs
cents a pack. Address y. q. FOSHAY, Box
100, Carmel, New York.
rOOT LATBES, manufactured by
- CHARLES +. RDST,
Dog a MI -pn TNaI1 .axv t.aa z
The Van Buren press., 1867-01-11
Manhood: How Lost, How Restored.

Just published. a new edition of Dr. CULVER
WELLS CELEBRATED ESSAY on the radical cure
without medicine) of Spermdtorhed or Seminal
weakness, Involuntary Seminal Losses, lmpotcncy,
Mental and Physical lncapacily, lmpediucnts to
Marriage, etc; also Consumption. EpHefsg and
Fits, induced by self indulgence or sexual ex'
travGgance.
gE~ Price, in sealed envelope, only cents,
The celebrated author, in this admirable essay,
clearly demonstrates, from thirty years succes
full practice, that the alarming consequences of
selfabuse may be radically cured without the
dangerous use of internal medicine or the appli-
cation of the knife-pointing out a mode of cure
at once simple certain and eifectual, by means of
which every sufferer, matter what his condi-
tion may be, may cure himself cheaply, private
ly and rddicdlly,
~ This lecture should be in the hands of ev.
cry youth and every man in the land
Sent, under seal, in plain envelope to any ad-
dress, postpaid, on receipt of six cents or two
post stamps. Also Dr. Cplverwells Marriage
Guide" price 25 cents. Address the publishers,
CHAS. J. G. KLINE Il CO.,
ly-lS 1877, Bowery, NY, ?. o., box 1856
The Van Buren press., 1867-01-11
To COnsumptivCs.

The advertiser, having been restored to
health in a few weeks by very simple remc-
dy, after having suffered for several years
with a severe lung affection. and that dread
disease Consumption-is to make known to
his fellow sufferers the means of cure.
TO all who desire IL. he will send a copy OF
the prescription used free of charge with
the directions for preparing and using the
same, which they will find II SURE CURE for
CONSUMPTION. ASTHMA BRoNCHrrIs, COUGHs,
COLDS and all Throat and Lung Affections
The only object of the advertiser in sending
the Prescription is to benefit the afflicted, and
spread information which he cOnceives to be
invaluable, and he hopes every sufferer will
try his remedy, as it will cost them nothing,
and may prove blessing.
Parties wishing the prescription FREE, by
return mall will please address
Rev. EDWARD \. WILSON.
Williamsburg, Kings Co.. New York.
The Van Buren press., 1867-01-11

Rev. C. X. Marshall has issued an able
address to the people Of Mississippi,
on the education Of freedmen, a subject
which has assumed no little Importance
since the abolition Of slavery. Mr.. Mar
shall discusses the question at length,
and urges the people Of Mississippi to
lend their aid and support to the estab-
lishment Of schools having this end in
view. In conclusion he says;
The instincts of the colored people
cannot be hoodwinked and perverted,
and if their old friends stand by them
with kindness, words of prudent counsel,
and give them proper support in all their
own laudablc efforts at self improvement,
old friendly relations will be kept alive,
and mutual good will flow out in good
Offices, and general usefulness be the re-
suit .e - .....-r
The Van Buren press., 1867-01-11
r-"A Reader" asks "Why should

Is"A Reader ASKS WI ny shoulu
there be so great difference between
prices in Canada and in the United States,
and how long is it likely to continue 2
The questions are simple ones, and such
as every adult ought to be able to answer
for himself. Some Of the reasons why
his "friend was enabled to buy a suit OF
clothes in Montreal, fifty per cent cheap
er than he could in New Haven are
these the duties at the Custom House
on imported clothes are thirty per cent
higher in this country than in Canada;
paper money there is on an equality with
gold-whilst ours is worth only about G9
cent on the dollar and will not buy as
many yards of cloth as the Canadian dol,
lar; the manufactures of clothing in this
country are also taxed on every garment
they SELL to help pay the interest on the
war debt they have to pay their work
men more than is paid in Canada, because
our paper money will not buy rs much
as the same amount in Canada money
These are some of the reasons why ten
dollar. in Montreal will buy as much as
fifteen in the United States; and this
state of things will continue, to a greater
or less degree, until the resumption of
specie payments in the commercial world
takes pace-of which there is no imme-
diate prospect. Until then, the back of
labor must bear the burdens of our vita
ted CURRENCY IT, Con. Register.
The Van Buren press., 1867-01-11

OLD HANNAH-She was an ignorant
slave, but pious old woman, who yielded
to temptation and stole a goose, which she
cooked for her table. Her master rebuked
her for the theft, but she was quite stub
born about it for while The next day
being Sunday, her master saw her at the
communion table. and afterwards sent for
her and said "Why, Hannah. saw you
to-day at the communion table"
Eyes, tank de Lord, Massa, was low
ed to be dero wild de rest of his family"
"But, Hannah, l was surprised to see
You there" he said. GLOW is it about
the goose?"
She looked = little surprised as if she
did not comprehend the cause of his wonder,
but soon catching the meaning exclaimed:
"Why, sar, do you think I'm gon TO
let an old goose stand betweea me and my
Master 80 .I...
The Van Buren press., 1867-01-11
Errors of Youth.

a Gentleman who suffered for years
from Nervous Debility and PERMANENT
Decay, and all the effects of youth
ful indiscretion, viii, for the sake of suffering
humanity, send free to all who need il the rec
ipc and direction for making the simple rem
cdy by which he was cured. Sufferers. wish
ing to profit by the advertisers experience,
can do so by addressing JNo. B. OGDEN.
80 No. l3 Chambers-st, NJ.
The Van Buren press., 1867-01-11

The doctors of Houston, Texas, re-
Gently made arrangements for a grand ex-
cursion, whereupon old Pannel, the City
Sexton, began to hustle around and get
ready for visit to the country. Most of
the doctors went as appointed, but the next
day tho old sexton was at his business, as
usual, when friend inquired why he did
not make his visit. We'll. said the old
ohap, Il thought | would %, but | heard
that W-n and WI, and one or two
more of the doctors had backed out Of the
excursion, and | knew it was Of no use for
me TO try to get away.
The Van Buren press., 1867-01-11
Strange but True.

Every young lady and gentleman in the
United States can hear something very much
to their advantage by return mail free of
charge by addressing the Undersigned
Those having fears of being humbuggcd will
oblige by not noticing this card. All Others
will please address their obedicnt servant,
TIIOS. f. CHAPMAN.
March l7-30tf S3l. Broadway. y. Y.
The Van Buren press., 1867-01-11

UTANING been chiefly engaged for the last
III 20years in the cultivation of Fruit and
Fruit Trees. and in the meantime having tes-
ted thoroughly nearly every variety of choice
fruits grown in the t. j., north and south.
very many of which have proved worthless.
especially northern fruits, and long since eN-
terminated from my orchard. substituting in
their stead Others suitable to the sunny elm
ate of the south. Whereby ! feel certain of
having culled from the numerous Catalogues
of the country the choicest selection of accli-
mated trees ever before offered in this market
at prices rs reasonable as can be afforded ut
any southern Nursery in the L. s.. Send on
your orders. If you don't know the varieties
wanted by name, call for so many summer
so many fall and so many winter varieties.
and WILL in all eases, send them so assorted
of best varieties of each. Send for a Cata-
logue of names in which will be found some
instructions Is TO time of planting and mode
of culture.
RICH'D TIIRUSTON, Proprietor,
Val de Pomme, Oct "a. Van Buren,, Ark
The Van Buren press., 1867-01-11
Free to Everybo ody

4 LARGE Opp. Catalogue teaching how to re
n. move Tan, Freckles, Pimples, Blotches,
Motn Patches, Sallowness, Eruptitns and all i'm
purties of the skin. How to force Whiskers, re.
store curl and heautify the hair renew the age,
cure Drunkenness Nervous Debility, and other
useful and valuable information. Everybody send
for it. Address BERGER, SHUTS d co..
Chemists, 2s5 River Street, Troy n. Y,
Dec I4-lm.
The Van Buren press., 1867-01-11
rgThere are five or six "cont

Eg"There are five or six contra
bands" lying in the jails Of Connecticut,
waiting to be tried for murder and robbie
ry. Is this the way to treat negroes
Jails are for white men. Cannot some
such fellow as ,ScheRck introduce a bill in
Congress for the relief of these ''men
and brothers lying in the gloomy dun
geons Of Connecticut? Where is Sum
ner? Where is old Ben Wade?
The Van Buren press., 1867-01-11

They say cotton is declining. sx-
claimed an old lady. as she removed her
spectaclcs, and laid down her paper. 81
thought so, she continued. "for the last
thread used was very feeble
The Van Buren press., 1867-01-11

eN- We are authorized to announce TliOS.
]. CHURCHILL, Us a candidate for Lieut..
Governor, at the election to be held on the 22d
of February next.
The Van Buren press., 1867-01-11

Josh Billings says if man is go
ing TO make business of serving the Lord,
he likes o see him do it when he measures
onions, as well as when he hollars hallelu-
var.
The Van Buren press., 1867-01-11

"A vengeful individual in tho ex-
uberance CT his rage At some one who Of
Tended hlm, said:
"Tll have revenge! I'll give his little
boy a tin horn
The Van Buren press., 1867-01-11
SPECIAL NOTICES.

&E0 A MONTH Agents wanted for sir
WV entirely Re,e articles, just out. Ad-
dress o. T. CAREY, city building, Biddeford,
Me. ly52
The Van Buren press., 1867-01-11

1g-The Mobile Register says there is
reason to believe that the line of diplom-
acy which the United States has seen
proper to pursue in Mexico will bear a
plentiful crop of troubles.
The Van Buren press., 1867-01-11
G. E0N PER YEAR. we want Agents

c. E0N PER YEAR. we want Agents
Ua1SSO everywhere to sell our M
PROVED $40 Sewing Machines. Three new
kinds. Under and upper feed. sent on trial.
Warranted five years. Above salary or large
commissions paid. The ONLY machines sold in
the L. S. for less than $40, which are tuiiy IL
messed By Ho,re, Wheeler d Wilson. Grorer t
Baker, Singer d Co., and Bachelder, AL other
cheap machines are intiIngmentS and the seller
or user are Habie 10 arrest. .fae aad tmprison-
ment. Illustrated circulars sent free Address,
or call upon Shaw & Clark, Biddeford. Maine.
or Chicago, Ill. ly52
The Van Buren press., 1867-01-11
= ------I--I----77177
RIVER NEWS.

The river is falling slowly, with about
Il feet on the bars. Weather cold and
indications Of snow.
No boats have arrived during the week,
The Van Buren press., 1867-01-11

Marriage and Cclibacy, an Essay of
warning and instruction for Young Men.
Also, Diseases and Abuses which PROSTATE the
vital powers. with sure means of relief. Sent
free OF charge in sealed letter envelopes, Ad-
dress, DIR. j. SKILIN lioUGnToN, Howard
Association Philadelphia, Ia.
The Van Buren press., 1867-01-11
VAN BUREN,, ARKANSAS.

sSs- s. w. PettiagU e Co. in Ne,s York and
Rosfon. are authorized 10 receire ddrertisiRgJor
the Press, an those cities.
Ia" Capt. p. Nay and JHo. Nedle. Nth {. q.
Scott C Co.. dreOW igeRtS dt LHue EocS.
I1ey trU receive subscriptions for The Press. b.
The Van Buren press., 1867-01-11

We invite the attention Of Country
Merchants and others, to our splendid
stock, assuring all that we will not be
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-12-03
Wisdom in Small Lots.
BY JOB BLANK

Sum men are CRATE by chance, but | know a
darned site Nv EN- that are mean from choice
There amt no man that's wise; some amt as
big fools as uthers, however.
A rale strictly konseenshus, honest man won t
bet unless he's got sure thing.
don't know what a rat terrier dog wuz made
Tor but the Lord didn't make him in vain.
wouldn't be vain myself about making such a
dog as them.
hev alwuz thot that if the kollery could be
managed with dlscreshion it might prove a
publick blessin'
A Wise man don't want to 90 to Kongress :;
and NIFTY fu Nv EN- do it.
A man that's got the each can alluz cum up
to the scratch
L know sum raleroad conductors that amt as
honest as Judas lskarriot wuz; but | reckon
the rest Nv EN- IT,
About all the difference [ can see in kourts
is that the biggest kourt has last guess.
L know some OF the best kind of men that
never had an Office.
When you meet vlrtuous man order his life
seize fotograf. You can carry all you'll get in a
pocket album.
never will patronize a lottery as long as I
can hire anybody else to rob me at reasonable
wages.
Young man, before you try to be rascal,
hadent you as well see if you wouldn' make a
better fool?
Some men that do great deal of dizziness in
their line notice, do great deal Of lien in
their biziness.
Death, hell and the grave you may escape,
but I'll bet you four dollars that you have to bi
your wife new bonnet eff she wants it.
I knowed when all them fellers in Ohio and
New York was a running for Office that there
wouldn't more en- half Of 'em get elected.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-12-03
EeiS in ParVO.

A very worthy fisherman by the name of Joe
Grizzle, was drowned some time since, and all
search for his body proved unavailing After
it had been in the water some months, however,
1t was discovered floating on the surface, and
taken to the shore, whereupon Mr.. Smith was
dispatched to convey the intelligence to the
much afflicted widow
.'Well, Mrs. Grizzle, we have found Grizzle'
body"
You don't say so p
Yes we have; and the jury has sot on it p
and what did they fnd?''
'Ihey found it full of eels''
You don't say Mr. Grizzlies body is full OF
eels p
YES it is, and we want to know what you
will have done with it?'
in him? 2"
why, about a bushel.''
"Well, then, | think you had better send the
eels up to the house, and set him again.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-12-03

In the Spectator of Nov. 18th, we published
Parody from al. M" and have received from
an indignant Miss the following
Reply.
Tell me- we winged Winds
That round my pathway sigh,
How dare you thus to TELL
That silly, wicked lie;
To say there is no spot,
No hole beneath the ground,
Where women trouble not
And babies are not found!
The wind abashed, her blast aside withdrew,
And hoarsely growled, 1 never said so, for do.
Tell me thou misty deep,
Whose pillows round me play,
Knowest thou no loathsome spot
Perchance not far away?
A place to smoke and drink,
For men abased and low,
Where ladies would not think,
Or even dare to go?
The loud wind ceased, and gently whispering said
Into my list ming ear: Il do, do, indeed"
And thou my gentle moon,
Who still so pensive moves,
And hast thou never seen
Some men whom none could love;
Some crusty, growing squirts,
Who lonely end this life;
Old owls in dirty shirts?
From under clouds, the moon withdrew her lace,
And brightly smiling, answered: yes, On yes!
Then tell me- secret soul,
And We both hope and faith,
From frightful men like this
Is there separate place?
From such, wrote that piece,
| would be far away,
Forever if [ could,
Oh tell me if may lglven,
Then hope and faith bright boons to mortals
Both clap and shouted: If you get to heaven I!
EDNIE.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-12-03
The Printers Estate.

The following sensible remarks by contem-
porary are appropriate just now, and we'll worthy
Of thought, study-and what is more significant
still, ACTION
The printers dollars-where are they? A
dollar here and dollar there scattered over the
numerous small towns, all over the country,
miles and miles apart; how shall they be gath
cred together? The paper-maker the Journey
man compositor, the building owner, the grocer,
the tailor and all assistants to him in carrying
on the business, have their demands hardly
ever SO small as a single dollar. But the mites
from here and there must be diligently gathered
and patiently boarded, or wherewith to dis
charge the liabilities will never become sufficient
" bulky. We imagine the printer will have to
get up and address to his widely scattered dol
lars something like the following:
Dollars, halves, quarters, dimes, and all
manner Of fractions into which you are divided,
collect yourselves and come home You are
wanted Combination Of all sorts of men that
help the printer to become proprietor, gather
in such force, and demand in such good reasons
your appearance at his counter, that nothing
short Of you viii appease them. Collect your
selves, for valuable as you are in the aggregate,
single you will never pay the cost of collecting.
Come in here single file, that the printer may
form you in battalion, and send you forth again
to battle for him, and Yindicate his credit.
Reader, are you sure you havn't couple of
the printers dollars about your clothes? If
you have, order them home Immediately.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-12-03
Fertilizers +!

ETRESH GROUND PLASTER.-WE
have erected mill on the Nursery grounds
OF Tannehill & Wheat, Just outside the corporate
limits of Staunton, for the purpose Of grinding
plaster, and are now prepared to furnish pure
plaster, ground at our mill, at $500 per ton of
22O0 pounds Or, we viii grind lump plaster at
the l00 rate of 81 so per ton 1t being our object
not to charge high price and grind only small
quantity, but by charging tOa0 price to keep the
mill in continuous operation.
When it is incOnvenient for parties to furnish
bags, we will furnish barrels, charging cost for
same. We will deliver the plaster at the r. R.
Depot, when desired, charging simply actual
cost of drayage
We are compelled to pay cash for plaster and
will require cash on delivery, or will take in ex-
change, corn, oats or -four, at the market price.
Persons at a distance, desiring ground plaster
can address us at Staunton, and will be notified
by return mail at what time it will be ready.
thereby preventing disappointment.
a. BOWLING, JR, 81 CO.,
april left Staunton. Va.
OH TONS PURE GROUND PLAs-
%SO TER in Store and for sale low for Cash
apl6-tf HOGE s. MASON.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-12-03
OCyn1eJ.

When is an infant like cannibal? When 1t
eats its pap.
''I'll work change in you"-as the churn-
dash said to the cream.
When heavy tragedians knit their eyebrows
what size cotton do they use.
Why is king who can't talk like his domln-
ions? Because he is king dumb.
Pm laying for you''-as the old hen said to
the chap who was hunting for her nest.
An exchange says that oranges sell IN Mex
leo for one real a peck. That real cheap
A susceptible youth says he would rather go
to church to see the hers than read the hymns
Chow do you like my new fence?" asked
Jones of jenkins. Its very fine, but L don
like the ''stile."
1t is an extraordinary fact that when people
come to what is called high words, they gener-
ally use low language.
What is the difference between Noah's ark
and Joan of Are? One was made Of Wood-the
other was maid of Orleans.
Which lady, at public reception, is like the
ugliest toad in pond? The one who has the
biggest wart of all-(waterfall.
The young ladies of this day and generation
appear anxious to emulate the fate of Cleopa-
ira by putting ladders to their bosoms.
What is the difference between chimney
bird, whipped by its mate, and Jonah One IS
whaled by a swallow and the other swallowed
by whale.
''Papa, when I grow up may [ may be what
| like p Eyes, my boy, you may choose your
own profession" ''Then I'll be a sweep, for l
shall never have to wash my face.
The young gentleman who committed the I'M
fortunate t1tur pas of falling down in the pres
ence of several young ladies, says he did not
hurt his fore paws-he just barked his knees.
''Sister," said one of the brethren at love
feast, ''are you happy?" Eyes, Deacon; [ feel
as though were in Belzebub's BOSOM Not
in Belzebub's bosom, sister - ''Well, one of
the patriarchs, don't care much which. y
Wife, (anxiously)-"What did that young
lady observe that passed US just now?' Hus-
band, with smile of calm delight Why,
my love, she observed rather a good looking
man walking with an elderly female-that all !
ahem
A boss doctor gives the following recipe:
FOR A SIX HOSS
take 5 sents Wurth ruberb,
2 sents Wurth calomey,
4 sents wUrth sulfur,
give the boss onct day, when the boss git lis
licked, hold up on the medason.
A gentleman seeing an Irishman fencing In a
very barren and desolate piece of land, said =
What are you fencing in that lot for, Pat? a
flock Of sheep would starve to death on that
land. And sure, your honor, Wasn'tl fen
cling it in to kape the poor bastes out iv it?'
replied Pat
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-12-03
YOjJ02'iNg.

7EyA3LORENG TAILORING !---The
4 co-partnTship heretofore existing between
Graves y Sprinkle has been mutually dissolved
and the business will hereafter be conducted by
2. B. Graves alone.
He has reduced his prices for cash, and will do
all kinds of work pertaining to the tailoring busi-
ness, in the very best manner, and at figures. so
low that no one will fail to be satisfied. He has
removed his shop to the room formerly occupied
by DR.. B. b. Donaghe office, and invites
all his friends and the public generally to give
him call.
july 30. P. B. GRAVES.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-12-03
A boss doctor gives the following recipe
Multum in Parvo.

They have little town out West, which APP
pears to have been overlooked by Dickens and
other English travellers, and which is all sorts
Of a stirring place"
In one day, they had two street fights, hung
one man, rode three men out of town on a rail,
der pulling pp l M match dog light t then pTeacRing
by a circuit rider who afterwards ran foot
race for applejack all round and. as if that
was not enough, the Judge Of the Court,a after
losing years salary at single handed poker,
and whipping person for saying he didn't I'M
derstand the game, went out and helped to
lynch his grandfather for horse stealing.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1867-12-03

To RENovATE OLD APPLE TREES. Take
fresh made lime from the kiln, and slack it well
with water and well dress the tree with brush,
and the insects and moss will be completely de-
the outer rind will fall Of and new,
smooth, clear, healthy one will be formed, and
the tree will assume most healthy appearance
and produce the finest fruit