The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1867-08-29

A Consultation at the Corners
Followed by a Dream, in
which General Grant and 9th,
er individuals are Mixed with
No Regard EFIRteFer fOr Time,
Place, or Fitness.
PosT OFFS, CoNFEDRIT X ROADS, I
(Which is in the Stait Nv Kentucky,)
August l, 1867.
Last mite ther wuz a convOcasheu
Nv the saints connected with the In.
stitoOt (uv wich Deekin POgram is the
cheefest and IOveliest among ten
thousand) to take sweet counsel to-
gether onto several matters connected
with the institution Nv learnin, the
success NV wich is so deer to all Nv US
The conversashen happenin to turn
upon the conferrin NV honrary de
grees, Deekin POgram sed that he he'd
a suggestion to make. He he'd notist
that all the Ieadin colleges Nv the
country he'd a practis NV conferrin IL
ties, sich ez an. D., )" ga. B. J." al. L.
d." and sich, onto distinguished men,
tho he wuz free to say that he didn't
know wat in thunder they meant, OF
wat they wuz good for. But he he'd
notist in a noosepaper that no college
he'd yet conferred any sich onto An
droO johnson. Considrin it a burnin
shame, he wood sejest that ez a rebOOk
to the hide-bound instooshens NV the
North, that this college do to-wunst
confer all Nv EN-, and eZ many more
ez there is, onto Mr.. johnson. BascOm
remarkt that he didn't know whether
the President wood feel cOmplimentid
"YOo know, Deekin," sed he, "that
this amt much NV a college!"
'cTrOO," sed the blessid old peece NV
innOsence, "too trOo, but to balance
that, johnson amt much Nv Presi-
dent, you knOw''
And so the honrary degrees wu2
conferred and notice thereof Wuz sent
him immejitly.
From this the question Nv the next
nominee NV the party for President
came up. Bascom, who isn't a fal
seein man, asserted that it wood be
necessary to nominate Grant. The
Deekin remarkt that he tho't it wood
be safe, but McPelter thO't different
He didn't bleeve in the first place
that it become a Peace party, or at
least a party wich, eff it dipped its
hands in gore at all did it mostly in
Northern gore, to take up Northern
General wich he'd dun his best towards
sendin many thousands NV Southern
ers to their long homes, and besides
the General wouldn't take it.
Bascom wanted to know wat the
conference at Long Branch meant?-
Eff General Grant wuz in the control
Nv Weed, Raymond and the Moo
York Herald, wich wuz ekal to the
World, the Flesh and the Devil, he
felt that he he'd trooly found the broad
Macadamized road to DemOcrisy. He
begun to hev hopes Nv him. Various
opinions wuz expressed by various
persons, when, without coming to any
conclusion, we separatid. 1 retired
that mite earlier than usual, and my
mind dwellin on the chances NV my
continuin in offs in case Nv Grants
accession, I fell into a troubled sleep
and dreamed a dream.
Methawt gathered in front Nv the
White House wuz a gallant array Nv
our friends. There wus Franklin
Peerce, and BoekannOn, and Vallan-
digum, and Woods, and MagOfin, and
Monroe, and Brite, and Breckenridge
and the leaders NV the Dimocrisy, all
a standin their Iookin wishfully at the
White House, and wOnderin how and
by wat means they Good git in. John
son, bIessins on his head, stood onto
the porticO Wavin to EN- to come,
but alass guardin the passage stood
a mighty host NV Ablishnists, armed
and clad in armOr, and in such force