The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1867-05-02
HUMOROUS.

they've been with me crying about
the streets all the morning
A man with a very large bald head
was conplimented on the fact tina his
caput was analogous to Greenland
is a great white bare place was the
reply. 9Tl29T afs atf 81
A lawyer engaged in "a case tor
mented a witness SO much with CUES
tons that1the poor fellow at last cried
for waferssThere,n- said the Judge.
Il thought youldpump him dry. n
A lyceum in Ohio has been discuss
ing a question in this fashion: Re
rsoired, That it is harder to bear the
Inconsistency than the death of a be-
trothed loved one.' s7segasa 35s
~ A sTANzA FOR SPRING. ssas
See, now, reminded by the weather, fHAs
The birds FORK hard their nests TO feather /:
And thou, my son, think not Of rest
TIL thou hast ~ather well thy nest.9t41
Care for what you say, or what
you say will make you care. 4g8 a
2 A curious incident happened at
Stratford, Connecticut, recently. It
is claimed that q resident of that
place killed a cat and buried her. On
returning to the grave a short time
after, he was surprised to find the an
imal sitting on her own grave. On
seeing her intended murderer, che
ran away and has not been see since.
A man in London beat his wife
nearly to death for having too many
children" .xsf at
Other goods have declined, but the
rise in hoop skirts on the streets is at
times quite startling.
A queer thing is an accommodation
note when you try to work it of. If
you cant sell it, you cancel it, and if
you cancel it, you can't sell it.
An anti-hymenial punsrer says that
the determinations of married people
resemble the sounds of the waves on
the sea shore, being the murmurs of
the tied. s
The Onl INDUCES in a conundrum:
What was the difference between
the Persian and the Fenian invasion?
The former was routed in Greece and
the latter in Tallagh."
A gentleman was awakened in the
night and told his wife was dead. He
turned round, drew the cover closer.
and muttered as he went to sleep
again: "Oh, how g~rievea I shall be
in the morning"
Widow-lody and widow-,oomun are
frequently encountered in converse
ton and in print. But whether either
of them has yet been encountered by
q widower-genne1san, or sa@widower-
man, remains to be discovered.
A Western man, speaking of the
Pacific Railroad. says it is one OF the
:" funniest condolences IN the world,
that almost eyerysalternate section of
land, on either side of the road, be-
longs to some member of Congress-"
Did you know Betsey Cranch?
What a fine creature she was! [ told
her once, In jest, she must be my wife,
for I had never been so deeply in love
before. 1T is out of the question,
my dear replied she. 1T is impos-
sible. Tam fire deep alreody!"
A Texas paper tells of a young cou-
pie who eloped on horseback, accom-
panied by a clergyman who was to
marry them. The lady's father gave
chase, and was overtaking the party
when the maiden called out Co her
clerical friend. Cant you marry us
as we run?7 The idea took, and he
commenced the ritual, and just as the
brides father eatehed her bride rein
the clergyman pronounced the lovers
man and wife. The ToGather was so
pleased with the dashing action that
blessing % 5f@ fet PIE 9fo1@ a. Sos
A Portland Democrat, before chat
place became 8 city, was presiding
over an old fashioned town meeting.
"A certain Office was to be filed, and
almost simultaneously the names Of
Wing and Democrat were proposed.
Theschairman immediately remarked:
Gentlemen, those nominations were
made so nearly at the same time that
| am hardly able to determine which
to put: but it does seem to me that
the asst mentioned name struck my
ear HrSt. ono 8vl
A young man In Illinois was great
ly snlittsn Mithka neighbours daughter,
and wanted her for his wife. In or
der to win her ursophisticated heart
he invited her to go with him to- q
circus that was showing in the vicin--
ity. She accepted the Invitation, and
as they neared the ticket wagon the
young man rushed upon his fate by
asking her suddenly If she would mar
ry him. mo, I thank you" she rel
piled. You won't eh?" exclaimed
the ardent youth; then buy your