North Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1867-current, 1867-05-22

HuMoR.-A Paris (Ky.) correspondent
Cincinnati Times writes concerning That
place:
A humorous lecturer, who came here re-
gently, sent his agent on a couple OF days
ahead TO smooth his way. On his arrival he
found Mr., Agent most thoroughly "bour-
! bon;aedn Whether or not there is "a
bourbon among u.s. he had certainly been
among a good deal OF BOURBON.
The following dialogue ensued between
The lecturer and his agent:
Lecturer-What are the prospects?
Agent-Splen' prospects.
Lecturer-What sort of house do you
reckon we'll have?
Agent-lhic) Full.
Lecturer-About how full.
Agent-(hic) Full'rn tick.
Lecturer-Do you think the people here
appreciate humor?
Agent-'Preciate humor? Well, if as n
a Teller to drink every fin minutes is
'preshation of humor, they've got it!
The New York Home Journal, which is
the organ of society and fashion in that
city, says that fashionable and wealthy
lady living at Murray Hill, lately gave q
crimson dinner party 1t thus describes
it:
It was literally crimson dinner party,
Every thing was crimson: the table cloth
had a crimson border, q foot deep, with
bordered napkins to match, and all the
plates, dishes, platters, cofee-cups, fruit
stands, sugar bowls, &c., were Of crimson
glass or china. The dinner was served in
the most elegant and expensive style, and
the dishes were placed on crimson silk
mats, with gold fringe, the silver on the
table being valued at $4,000. The din
ing room was hung with rich crimson silk,
and beside the plate of each guest was
placed beautifully choice bouquet OF
crimson flowers the walters wearing Grim
son cloth coats la anglaise.
Henry Wilson, (radical) Senator from
Massachusetts, uttered the following in a
speech delivered on the 23d Of FEBRUARY,
1865, in the Senate of the United States :
1--WE believe that slavery in the states is
a local institution, that we are not respon-
sible for its existence, and that we have
no legal authority to interfere with it in
any way whatever. l am content to leave
slavery to the people of the states where
it now exists. l recognize the Democrat
ic'doctrine'of state rights, in its application
to slavery, as well as to other local affairs,
and while have seat in this chamber,
shall resist all attempts to encroach upon
the reserved rights of the sovereign states
of the Union will stand side by side
with my Democratic friends in vindication
of the Virginia and Kentucky resolutions
of179S-9, 1922
-~
The BLESSED ONEs.-Blessed are they
that are blind: for they shall see no
ghosts.
Blessed are they that are deaf: for they
shall never lend any money, or listen to
tedious stories.
Blessed are they that are afraid of thun-
der for they shall hesitate about getting
married.
Blessed are they that are ignorant: for
they are happy in the thought that they
know everything.
Blessed is he that is ugly in form and
feature: for the gals shant modest him.
PILLs.-Dear DR.. Boanesett: Thru the
politaness ov Mr.. John Smith cum in po-
seshun ov yure valuble Letter at about nine
O'Clock, mite before last, in witch yu Offer me
ten dollars for a poalitiss. Here it is
heve. he'd fair chanse tn yuse yur pills
pom severl important okkashuns an kan
sware pozitiv that tina kan beet emmy pill
Nv thare size ever kontcnded with
Eph yu sea phit tn yuse it, yu kan re-
NIT 10 dollurs by male, tn owr risk.
In the meme time bet frelay that i'm
yure umble servent, j. BILLINGS.
You can't keep fruits through the winter
unless you can.