The Vermont transcript. [volume] (St. Albans, Vt.) 1864-1870, 1867-07-05
Stories Of an Old Fossil

A correspondent of the Cincinnati
Commercial tells these anecdotes of
Hon. Isaac Newton, Commissioner of
Agriculture whose death was ANNOUNCE
ed ON Thursday:
1t is said that one day some wag
picked up common duck III the
street and carried it to Sir Isaac, tell
ing him it was rare species. Sir
Isaac had it Gagged, and took great de-
light in exhibiting it to his visitors. =
One day, when showing it as usual,
to u lady visitor, he strolred it on the
back and said: ''See, madam, has it,
not the most beautiful foliage of any
bird you ever saw
At another time the expenses of Sir
Isaac's department had been very
great, and the chairman of the com
mttee on agriculture called on him to
explain how he had used so much
money. Sir Isaae spluttered and
talked learnedly, and at last conclud-
ed by saying: Eyes, sir; the expenses
have been very great, exhorbitant; in
deed. sir, they have exceeded my most
sanguine expectations, The cralrnan
was satisfied.
Looking over Sir Isaac's estimate
for the year it was found Ire had made
requisition for 1000 to purchase two
/ hydraulic rams. The committee sent
for Sir Isaac TO explain what he was
going to do with hydraulic rams in
the agricultural department. Them
gentlemen said Sir Isaac, care said
to be the best sheep i'll Europe. l
have seen gentleman who knows ah
about them, and we should by ali
means secure the breed Some wag
had been selling Sir Isaac, and, muclr
to his disgust, the committee strucin
out the $4,000 item.
/ Sir Isaac had written some instruc-
tons about setting hens, telling how
many eggs should be put liz the nest
and how many should be laid in. A
young farmer wrote to Sir Isaac that
4 he had set hen as directed, but put
in the nest great many more eggs
than Sir Isaac said he should Sir
Isaac wrote TO the fellow to know why
he had put SO many eggs in the nest,
when the wicked fellow repied--it was
to "see the old hen spread herself.
One day a young lady from Ohio
called on Sir Isaac to get II clerkship in
/ his department. Sir Isaac was i'll ex-
uberent spirits. and as the modest
Ohio maiden stood by his chair he mer-
rily poked his thumb into her rib, and
making peculiar noise with his
/ tongue like the quacking of a duck,
said; $50, Miss, you want "a clerkship,
ell p The young lady, shocked and
/ frightened ut such familiarity, left his
presence and went straightway to the
! Representatives and Senators of her
State TO whom she complained of the
treatment she had received A certain
bluff old Senator went with the damsel
to see Sir Isaac, and demanded of him
to know "why he had been booking
his finger into the Ohio girls ribs. -"
Sir Isaac was overwhelmed with sur
prise and modification, protested his
innocence, patted the girl on the head,
called her his daughter, and declared
that he meant to give no of1ense The
old white haired man had indeed
meant to give no oilense. but in the
morliment of his heart had ogled her,
and was now quite sorry for his indis.
erection.
Such was Sir Isaac Newton; Chief Of
the Agricultural Bureau. He certain
ly was unfit for the position, but he was
50 kind-hearted and eolApanionable he
had many friends, and will long be re-
membeled
res- To prevent your hair from