Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1867-04-09
MARRIAGE AND MODERN FA-
ioans SHIONS. aA 81"


tions of late in reference to the frequency
of unhappy marriages, especially in ia
shienable society, as it is called. One
correspondent says he has known the
cases of young ladies of refinement and
respectability who, having married young
men met with in good society and with
dashing expenditures, have been utterly
wrecked for life. Two of the young men
have been since convicted as forgers,
and another had a previous wife still
living. gsufs
In many of the splendid soirees, masked
balls and private theatricals, where gold
en-haired wigs and titled foreigners, silk
stockings and knee small.clothes and
velvet coats are all the rage, in doors, or
finland drives, suppers and liquors,
out, there is a far greater tendency to
|. these miserable marriages at last than
would appear possible. We know in
deed that some of the young ladies who
seem most fashionably fascinating, are
really as sharp and seheming for them
selves as the chaperons and scheming
grandmothers of former times used to be
for them, They know the difference be-
tween gold and glitter, but alas what
price do they have to pay, for their
knowledgel-the sacrifice of all maiden
ly simplicity, and the heart is scheming,
wrinkled and dextrous, while the brow
may be smooth, and the eye sparkling,
like the diamonds that glitter on that
queenly forehead AS the country gets
richer, and fortunes are more diversified,
girls are sought for their fortunes and
young men for their prospects or sup
posed ability to keep up an establish
ment, rather than for themselves; and it
is astonishing what hesrtless jades and
unprincipled young men flourish in all
this cream of society" M ueisn9
But the whsle principles that underlie
successful and happy marriages are the
very reverse of much of this Marriage
is for life. For the tie to be permanently
happy, 1t ought to have the sanction of
all the wisdom Of the past. No girl
under twenty and of maidenly simplicity
should trust a stranger with her hand
for life without the best counsels of the
family. A marriage that estranges the
family on each side is on that account
generally source of unhappiness and
want of respect aud continued affection |
between the parties Most married men
know that they might have been caught |
by a pretty face and led to marry into |
utter ruin but for the counsels Of parents
and friends. Indeed, parents stand be-
fore children, net to act for them in
such matters as these, but to guard
them by their superior knowledge and |
experience of the dangers at the entrance
of life. And those who 60 in opposition
to such experience do SO at terrible
and increasing peril, as society becomes
more complicated and the extremes of
life more brought in contrast in our
cities. ...f aa..r al,ru .r,tNl
Marriage is not only for the happiness
of the united pair, much less for that mo-
mentary fancy that often seems as if it,
and it alone, could be the whole happi-
ness of life. The whole welfare and hap
piness of children and children's chill
dren may be most seriously affected by
the calculated fortune or casual prOpin-
quity ending in marriage Of first cous-
ms. Happiness in old age win chiefly !
depend on thai mutual respect which
leads to the stuoy of coRgenial habits.
The cultivation by each of respect for
and conformity with these habits in
which the other is superior is the iurest
means of happiness, and far mere neces-
sary than perfect similarity at first In
women, superiority in refinement purity
and even education and the fine
arts, tends much to this respect, where
there IS enough good sense TO appreciate
them. In man, courage, strength OF
body and of mind, protection from Pow
erty, enmity and danger will atone tor
many weaknesses and errors in the esti-
nation and respect Of wife. But there
are differences that tend to increasing
which a parent eye can fore
see, where an innocent, trusting daugh.
Teri cannot n. tIEH.L.
To induce the full, free confidence Of
The children Of family from infancy
IS the best way for parents to secure II,
even in these greater matters Children
eannot grow up estranged from their
parents until they get into their teens,
ind then become confidential E1here
never ought to be that veil let down be-
.weeE the Old and young Of The family
hat would leave IL possible for any new
md deep affection, any great purposed
.hange in life TO be contemplated, With
but affection aud respect at once sug-
rssting the duty, alike for self.respect
md safety, as we'll as the certainty, of
counsel, rendering the
most candid and early frankness certain. I
Ii is not By keeping girls shut up and |
lecluded from an society While Al srkool, {
o be let fy suddenly upon society, and
lance and waltz with the fashicnsble
md advantageous young men within