Indiana American. [volume] (Brookville, Ind.) 1865-1872, 1867-12-20
YEA us of 40 vERrffINc


We translate the following from. Josh
Billings into English, especially Tor he
perusar or the moral stsId offsfiHdium
readers sVfyowrs ihe ,yeupgs sssuq vill
not care 20 reyd IL, IL has : tvsek Of
irony, as the man said vhsn Ls knocksd
his friend down with poker 'Ifsoh ~
Ny young iiie.J, you srs beet &c b.
giu hts, ssd sl'houTh IL mn, sesn dscsd<
fully Impossible TO you, nssefihelers you
Will be liablcto make soue DiFtakss While
you are scoring, or daring the fist piis
or two. fiti 4 : t9iti<tsI anaIs
Let me mix up little advice foe 5ou
TO take I'LL you get 10 ,r.stips ssssdy. sl.ssh
You will ,ssrsrys The advice y desigped
Tor young tsstlsusB sbe show soue
signs Of speed. aud sirs hat I tsasoa
right froin the shoulder. lotsh - ptsm
|. Treat the old nan aud the cid wersnL
a. your equals; smils heat they. exhort.
aud laugh when they susrsal. Tyr no jespx
man can hope ivr success iu the orhs-
mentai walks Vt lie 'sho dDes nut sxsr Tie
belt home. 13i isc4 liEi ~ h5a1Deite
2. IL you esnnt rsise,s mpsisebs. .eo.s-
mil suicide at once aud begip., agsip;. ior
II Is better TO die than TO sufisr disgrace.
3. Cultivate impvdeIee-impudeace is
n good subject for bfasery-osiIys be .
little careful to pick your ssstsmsn vhsa,
you try,it.. b....slh. ar kee a,oo,a,
4. Keeps trotfer aud 6gh,ipg rooster.
Ihese animals will let you into the. con-
hdeuce Of men who will waich osef yoar
morsls aud nurse your genias.r bsliIss7l
b. Avoid the old, ivgie.; they sre q
miserable set Of cowardly crosksrs. who,
like third rate dog, have learned what
little they know about virtue BY simply
being oyermstched in fair fehal iifai1o,f
9. Suspect sll itchislel virfns. u. This
will give you an easy dawl Of spbieposs
language while in the society Of ths Isdies,,
aud ehsble you 10 awaken confusion,,
which you eau cali sonieihisg else. 'pHh
z. IL yon get desperate, aud murt nssr-i
ry,Ansrry fcrduesiss- marrying Cor blood,
or for lsseis too. sloppy for. q psn .sf.
spirits Love is low passion, aud is,
designed for two-story houses on one OF
the back streets, not Tor brown stone
ffont sNiHnc0 oifreC sfi 70 i1tEgf
8. BY all Means ilesfs 10 swear, and
smoke freely, and doubt never aanstske
rain water for milk puseh a. ,un:ess you,
want soft thing. g......,.r, :, n, :. Z
8. Call religion a stock iobbers pid.
geon TO catch fate with; say that viftde IL
only The galvanized imporhhes ofeow ssds;
tina, wisdom is but ss egg thstlis added;
laugh at all things that are, solemn, aud,
swear that Bacehus aud venus are the
only two gods ft 10 be worshiped. - 'Sl
Young man, cultivate all the above graz
ces, AID add to them what the sfdsrsof
your genius may inspire, apd il the horss
jockeys and pimps generally don't ssy
you are brick of the brig hest hue, aud
If the devil don't make You some HAtter-'
ing proposals, the days Of 'chivsiry ATE
positively over, and pudding sDdmiIk bee
got more glory in il than brandy snssh,
run sour. or even n tom and jerry.
Young man, Ia few words with you 10
private let these cheerful remarks settle
down into you when you get 10 rfeefing
at IL o'clock some fainy night, sszs sm.,
+, Done make fool Of yourself BY trying
to jump 65 feet at jump and lapd among
the "B'hoys" at ouee,, but eraminea your
build closely and see 10 you srepot better
constructed for something honestosslisi1q
But If you 6ud you must 20 TO despair,
then put on all the steam you can, carry,
and either burst or get there as soon as
possible. ftei.ii.a Ht-
P.S. When you get there and have had
enough Of it, just drop nae . hne and I
will see what cen be doue for you, Bnt
don't forget one thing-thst the road
back is three times as far, aud is all The
way up hill besides. e '-t'fi.eii p. grfiss