The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1867-11-14
For the Jeifcrsonian.
A Victim.
BY II. LANGFoRD.

Mr.. Russell formerly resided in Scho
harie. He now lives in Albany. Rus
sell appears to be the victim of unpro
pitious circumstances. Russell has an
unhappy faculty of doing business con
trary to law. On Tuesday Mr.. Russell
was arrested for the eleventh time since
autumn set in. We give his examina
tion:-
Well, Russell, you are here again,
perceive"
Yes, sir: the facet is, squire, I'm q
victim. Blow me if care what Bobby
( Russell does, he is sure to violate some
law or other. When comes to Albany
| says to myself = Russell, my boy, we'll
take hunt to morrow and try them fox
hounds. Well, sir, out | goes, and what
do you think? Before got to the next
corner Barney Whelan tapped me on the
shoulder and says -'Old feller, that's
agin the law! { What's agin the law 2
replies, and he says, having dogs in
the street without muzzles.' He accord
ingly arrested me, aud brought me before
the police court. The result of that piece
of fun was fine of five dollars. Well,
what did do then ?"
Can't say"
Well, listen and l tell you / sold
the tox hounds to one of Aunt Puts
friends for twenty dollars. With the
proceeds | bought sow and FIVE pigs. l
took them home, built pen in the back
yard, aud thought all my troubles were at
an end; but | was mistaken. Officer
pr,d droI o,lio1 ,,o, n,o H. 49,, ,ov.
day and says: - Russell keeping hogs
in the yard is agin the law | doubted
it. This riled Officer Bradwell, who had
me arrested again. This time l was
fined five dollars"
Well, what did you then?"
/ sold my sow and pigs and bought
horse and cart, and undertook to draw
wood. The very first load L put on drew
the attention of policeman Sickles, who
said that driving a cart without license
was agin the law He arrested me for
that offence, which caused me another
fine of FIVE dollars"
Well, what did you do next?"
| sold the horse and cart and bought
the half Of charcoal wagon"
Well, what success did you meet with
after thatY"
"The same old luck, sir. The first
day | commenced peddling, policeman
Snooks took me by the collar and says =
Russell, that's agin the law, old feller.'
What's agin the lawY | said. He re
piled, Selling charcoal in wooden mea-
sure That cost me fne of three dollars"
'' Did that drive you out of the char
coal business?"
Yes, sir: | sold out, and thought |
would try nay fortune in carrying bag.
gage between the steamboats, and rail
reads. But what's the use? only CON-
menced work to-day, and here am
again
What for now?"
For soliciting luggage without per-
nit from the Mayor. As | said before,
I'm victim. If l could save a man
from drowning by jumping into a whrl
pool, dash my Wig if | don't believe the
first policeman | met On coming ashore
would up and say, It's agin the law,
Russell, to go overheard without license
from the coroner"
The justice having heard Mr.. Russell
to the end, admitted that he was vic
tim" and let him off this time without
paying fine. Russell left the Office say
ing that he would 60 and kill himself,
" if it were not for one thing" Ou be-
ing asked what that was, he replied,
that some policeman would discover it
was "agin the law to commit suicide"
and undertake to collect the fine from his
" misfortinit children" Russell's case
calls for sympathy. We hope it will
meet with it,