The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1867-08-06
Jerks as a Base Baili-t.

Health and amusement
Being in search of these commodities
we joined base ball club.
We had watched the game day after
day; had taken particular rotice of all
the points; had studied the rules and ex-
plantations until we could repeat them
verbatim; had applauled ell fine playing
at the same time satisfied :hat 3 was so
easy TO do this and that, in TACT, was
satisfied we could make our mark as ball
ist
Went cut to practice.
Had II position assigned us on the right
flank as skrmishcr.
But here we didn't show off to much
advantage, and we were ordered to close
in.
We closed in and afterwards calleq
short stop.
We felt better here as there was some
thing to do eve wouldn't like loaiing
if we are playing b. b.
Prepared for catch, and got 1.-THE
ball was coming right at us-struck an
attitude, and took the ball handsomely on
the point of our little finger, from which
it flew like Lightning to position directly
under our left eye, where it halted
moment and then went to purgatory-us
top.
Here is where some of the amusing
part OF the game comes in.
Bot the amusement is for the spectators,
not us.
The Captain said something about
''muif'ins' or ''mugsins," we didn't dis
inctly understand which, if we had there
would have been pugilistic encounter
Our base Of operations were aga IN
changed our captain sending US to the
first base.
Our position here was indicated by
small pillow filled with sawdust, made on
purpose for the convenience of players
who are tired.
We were tired.
And took sitting posture
The captain ordered us up.
We said ''pass."
We have since learned to 'pass7 was
asking him to pass the ball to you and
we had no more than spoken the myster-
ious word before the ball was making di-
rectly for us.
We don't like to have things thrown at
US, and not wishing TO get bit, we played
strategy and vacated the base, letting the
ball 90 where it had mind TO.
Then our position was changed again,
and were sent to catch.
We did better here
Catching everythng-but the ball.
Caught the devil from the captain and
all sorts of mean and low remarks from
the outsiders.
Spectators should uever be permitted
on base ball field.
They most always get up more base
bawl than the players Which amt
right.
After while our side got in, and we
had a rtrike (N. B.-We had been
receiving strikes ever since we commeuc-
ed)
Now we had chance to punish the
| ball.
Took the cue III our hand, and when
the ball came up we made for it and hit
it.
1t flew of and caromed on the red head
OF the umpire, who said-Fow OWL!
This made us mad, as we were no fowl,
and told him lie was no gentleman to be
calling us names.
But he didn't pay any attention to it,
and the ball came by again. This time
hit it and run.
As we reached the first pillow and
were about sitting down to rest, the boss
yelled out: 'Run, your base"
l lis was an insult, we were bound TO
resent, and putting our hands in our
pockets we took up position among the
spectators, determined not to play ball
with any one who called US foul and base.
We were afterwards induced to play
umpire some, however.
This dl.gusted most every one.
All sorts Of good things were said about
us, such as: "fartial cuss.'
''Dont know nothin' about rules"
"Darned old fool" and such like COM
plimenis, pleasant TO sensitive people.
The amusement part Of the game is with
the spectators.
We don't know where the health is,
unless it is in black eye, broken finger,
sprained ankles, and stiff joints generally
We resigned, and in as good order as
possible.
/ Not any more base ball for
GENTLEMAN JERKS.