Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1867-12-03
ABOUT aRuMBLERs.

IlDAC los
regular grumbler never seems in his
element, or properly suited, unless he
can find something to growl at. He
must grumblc or fall into a decline from
lack OF his regular constitutional re-
quirement. 1t is the grand luxury of
his life, without which, existence would
be burdeusome, or as impossible as for
q fish to live out of its natural element.
Nothing is ever satisfactory to him
grumble he will. Precious little does
he care for the feelings of others, if he
only a get a chance for q good growl.
He is extremely notional in his ideas,
and exacting in his requirements of ut
tention to his established notions and
arbitrary whims. 1t would DO indeed
miracle Of u woman who would suit him
as a wife. Even in the midst Of good
fortune, he will seek out something or
other to find fault with. Luck is never
good enough for him.
Uncle Nat Barclay, down in San Fran
cisco, vas one of this kind. Passing
down Clay street one day, he saw some
thing cleaning among the dirt in the
gutter; stopping, he picked it up, wiped
of the mud, and found it was a real
genuine "quarter." "Umph" growled
the old chap, as he turned it over and
over in his hand, off it had been any
body else but me that found it, 'twould
have been n FIVE dollar piece" His
wife, one of the most amiable little
bodies in the world wore herself thin rs
q single trying to please him, but twas
no use, he always would and did grum-
bic, no matter what she did. He even
g~rumbledi in his sleep. One night, how
ever, he couldn't sleep at all. He had
grumbled himself into q most aggrava-
tingly wakcful mood, and his eyes set
themselves wide open they wouldn't
stay shut at all. At length the old fell
low got so perfectly exasperated, that
he bounced but of bed, caught a bottle
of pepper-sauce from the cupboard, and
gave a squirt into each eye. "There
now" roared he, "glare, dam you,
glare r
On board ship at sea is the place
where probably the most industrious
grumbling is done, not only among pas
sengers, but also among the sailors.
There's where you find your regular
old "forecastlo grumblers;" old sea
dogs, who are never known to be per-
fectly satisfied. We heard once Of a
sea captain, who, understanding well
this popularity of sailors, resolved that
for one short voyage he would try and
see that there was no cause for grum-
bling among his crew; so, just as the
ship was ready to sail, he called all
hands aft, and informed them of his
intentions, telling them, among other
things, that the same quality of food
should be served to them in the fore
castle, as was served to himself and the
other officers in the cabin. They imme-
diately voted him to be the best captain
afoat, and sang ".Cheerily ho!" as they
got the old ship under weigh. For a
few weeks everything appeared satisfac-
tory. Things went on as smoothly as
could be desired, and the men seemed
contented and happy. By and by, how
ever, the good captain began to notice
a change f; something was wrong. The
men did not attend to duty and obey
orders with the same alacrity as for
merly, and occasionally they would be
seen conversing or arguing among them
selves in q suspicious manner. At
length, n fine morning, just as "eight
bells" was struck, the captain being on
the quarter deck, all the men came aft,
and taking off their hats, informed the
captain that they had concluded to re-
fuse further duty. whats the mat
ter?" said the astonishcd captain
"havn't l always treated you kindly? 2"
eyes, sir" "Hasn't my mate
treated you kindly?" eyes, sir.
"Havn't you had your regular grub,
and good grub, same as 1 prom
ised your" eyes, sir" "Then what
in h-l's the matter?" Well, yer see,
Cap'n," said an old tar, acting as
spokesman, hitching up his old duck
pants, and shifting his quid into the
other cheek, " the fact of it is, every
thing IS all right, sir, but the bloody
butter. We've noticed for some time,
that the bloody steward when he serves
out the butter, always gives us common
frkin butter, but the bloody thief always
takes fresh ball butter down into the
cabin. That's what's the matter, sir,
and blarst me bloody eyes if we can stand
it any longer; ue want ball butter, too"
"Mr. Steward" shouted the Captain,
"come here, sir. What the devil does
this mean? Is this obeying my orders?"
The steward laughed. "Just wait a
minute, sir, till show YOU" Ho went to
the store room, and soon reappeared,
bringing forth a key partly full Of but
ter. There" said he, "thc butter
for both the cabin and the f~orecastle all
comes out of this same 6rkin ; the only
difference is, that what I take into the
cabin l make up into balls, just for a
fancy touch" "D-n your Partially p
exclaimed the Captain, "this amt q
going to do. No more of this, Mr..
Steward but hereafter see that my
men always have ball butter. Is that
satisfactory ?" They replied with three
hearty cheers, and Immediately ran
forward to their duty, cheerful and
contented once more. "Ball butter"
went. There was no more grumbling
~ 1900