Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1867-03-20
A Little of Everything.

-
trust his wife, because he was never married
TO her.
-Hait for others to advance your inter-
ests, aud you will wait until they are not
worth advancing
e-Candor, in some people may be COM
pared to lemon drops, in which the acid pre-
dominates over the sweetness
An Englishman being asked how he
| spelled saloon. replied: with hess, a
hay, hell, two hoes, and a hem
"A London paper advertises that ladies
who wish to have muffs made of the genu-
Inc article ''can select their own skins
--Run not after the blessings, only walk
In the commandments of God, and blessings
shall run after you, pursue and overtake you.
"A friend says he knows of bat one
branch of employment which is very profit
| able, and but little followed, and that is,
Mind your own business"
Mrs. Partington wants to know why
the Captain of a vessel can't keep memo
! fandum OF the weight OF his anchor instead
OF weighing it every time they go out of port
"a drunken fellow recovering from dam
gerous illness. was asked whether he had
been afraid of meeting his God. No
said he, Il was only afeard of t'other chap"
One of the Siamese Twins was drafted by
the rebels during the war, but was at last
declared exempt on account of having an
only brother dependent on him for support.
You dentist, Bob? [ did not know
you were in that trade ''Yes," said Bob,
Il follow no other business than setting
teeth-in beef, bread, potatoes and such like.
1t is said there is not less than one hun
dred females now in the hands of the saw
ages, lately captured from the frontier coun-
ties OF Texas, and constantly subject to the
grossest outrages.
"A farmer refused to hire an Irishman
because two previously hired by him had
died on hands. Faith, said he. Il have
wrought in many place, and niver once
played sich trick. ..e.
"A clodhopper hired himself out to Ia
Fberfor life, ut cight dollars per month; With
an agreement that he should have half his
pay at the end of every month, and the rest
when his time was out. r 9sb a ga
DO you suppose that a person can see
any better by the aid of glasses? ?" said
swel ed TOPPER, 'sfor after have taken half
a dozen glasses, can see double.''
The Daily Wisconsin tells of man
hale and vigorous with a rifle bnllet still in
his brain, received at the battle of Bull Run.
He was ina hospital for a year, but can now
swing an axe or scythe with anybody.
-Independence is the locomotive which
carries the car of socictyover the rail-track
of success. The man that jumps out is ut
terly lost. Hold on to your hair when the
rate Is rapid, but never lose your seat.
IA remarkable, and, perhaps unparal-
lelea coincidence is recorded in the civil reg
istry of Bar-sllr- -Aube, in France In 1866
there were inscribed there one hundred and
six births. one hundred and six deaths, and
one hundred and six marriages.
! As gentleman was returning home
one night from fashionable party, there
was an alarm of fire. He attempted to cry,
'E-f-f-,' but twas no use-he was
so drunk that he couldn't get it out, so he
gave a boy ten cents to do it for him.
A young wife demonstrated with her
husband, dissipated spehdthrift, on his
conduct. ''My love, 2 said he, sI'm only |
like the prodigal son | shall reform by and
by. y And / will be like the prodigal son,
too," she replied, for will arise and goto
my father, :, and accordingly off she went.
An old Scotch lady had an evening |
party, where a young man was present who
was about to leave for an appointment IN !
China As he was exceedingly extrava=
CANT in his conversation about himself. the !
Olu lttlY Sdfu, WItH iiS WAS iCdNtuS, On 4
gud care O yourself when ye're ava; Tor |
mind ye, they eat puppies in China
"A CORE spon1ent tells of chap who
wasdrinkjpg ut tie counter, and withal being
tolerably tight, after several attempts to
raise the glass to his lips succeeded IN get
ting it high enough to pour the contents IN
side the shirt collar, and set the glass down
with the exclamation That 8 good, but a /
little too much ice Mr.. Bar Keeper. ,ls9
"A dabbler in literature, strolling along |
rivers bank, chanced to spy ragged lit
tie urchin fishing. and stepping up, thus
addressed him slstAdolescence, art thou en-
deavoriny to entice the fnny tribe to engulf I
into their denticulate mouths barbed hook, |
upon the extremity -of. which Is affixed a |
dainty aliurement?" 5';No, said the boy,
I N fishin = ,....., baoeess4ssa sssrf.
Sure, . said Patrick, rubbing his head
with delight at the prospect OF present from |
his employer, 81 always name to do my du-
ty. )" II believe you, replied his employ
er, and therefore / shall make you present |
of all you have stolen from me during the
year. II thank yer honor, replied Pat;
land may all your friends and acqualntan-
ees treat -you as literally : szo9aT at
"A young lady the other day, in the |
course of a lecture, latter the manner q |
ried young men, and be quick about it too.
Don't wait gforthe millennium, hoping that I
the girls may turn to angels before you trust
yourselves with one of them, A pretty
thing you d be- alongside an angel won dn,
you-you brute Don't wait another day, |
but right now-this very night ask some som
nice, industrious girl to go into partnership
with you, to clear. your pathway OF thorns,
and plant it with f0wers.dsT % p aei''3lis'