The daily clarion. [volume] (Meridian, Miss.) 1863-1866, 1866-03-15
The Wandering Yankee.

Some few wears ago a native of New Eng
land made his appearance i'll the extreme /
east of Europe and AsatiC Turkey. tie /
was the inventor of y machine by which the /
interest on capital could be calculated with |
remarkable rapidity, by an altogether dit |
f,rcnt system from the ordinary aTithmet- !
ical computation.
He carried his machines in Carpet-bag /
which constituted all his baggage, and was I
provided with programmes IN which the /
marvellous character of the invention was I
set forth with considerable literary AFFINITY F.
and authenticated by the testimony OF the /
most eminent personages in tins country, !
and by the Queen Of England and other IL /
lustrious patrons of the art 0fauthmcuc.
Though his dress a mosaic Of antique
garments his appearance was ScrupulousIy
neat He evidently had an eye to the strlc-
test economy, and was 10th to spend fifty
cents when by a shrcwd manipulation the
expense could be reduced 80 twenty-five
and 50 closely did he adhere to this policy
that when he arrived at place, he made
his dcbHt by driving close bargain with
iuukecpcrs and interpreters, and to this day
the very mention of his name brings terror
to the publiCans and dragomans OF the East.
With all this excessive clOseneSs, he was
singularlv honest. He stalked about the
Levaut with lofty air Of selt-cOmpiacency,
as if to say : Mankind are bound to buy my
machines, and shall not get cent more out
of me than | can help"
The machine consisted of a little circular
two guineas, Including an explanatory Sched-
ule of which certainly there great need.
The inventors name was Muller. He had III
his possession visiting cards, OF which, how
ever, he made his wont was IN every
thing, a most Chary and discriminating use
He left them only on unproicSSlona visits,
rs the greatest token of his reverence Tor
the persons favored with them; and other
things being equal 1t was as complimentary
to receive Mr. Nulcr'S card rs the personal
visit of an Emperor.
He was so thoroughly convinced of the
efficacy of his machine, and yet so dubious
of the capacity of ordinary mortals to crap
pie with its scientific mysteries, that he car
ried about his cOuntenance mingled eN-
preston Of pluck aud contempt, as II hereby
determined to make people purchase his in
vention. and at the same time looking with
scorn upon their defective powers OF appre-
citation.
Partly frcm these conflicting feelings, and
partly from the fact that he was eminently
successful in dispOsng of his wares, 1t came
to pass that he designated all his hoped-tor
purchasers by the general term OF ms folks.
When he was in Egypt he talked OF seeing
the folks in Syria, Turkey, Greece and
Russia, to the great amazement OF MS 1elloW
travellers, who could hardly believe that he
applied the term only to that part OF human
kiud who might make the acquisition OF ms
machine. And as he uttered those words,
my folks" an indescTbable expression OF
roguery and fun would steal over his
wcather-beaten couutenance, and create a
sort of cOmpassionate interest for those UNI
fortunate objects of Mr.. Nuller's special
affection.
If il had not been for his machines he
MIGHT have been compared to the Wander
inn jew :" but there would be something IN
congruous in the idea of that venerable
parsonage travelling about with
patent invention. He certainly was how
ever, the type par excellence of the wander
inc Yankee" Mankind for him consists OF
two classes namely, fools who did not buy
his machines, and bigger ones who did buy
them. He popular character WITT
Cane Cod sea captains and at missionary tea
parties. On such occasions the native
shrewdness Of Nullcr'S mind would emf
sparks of dry, homely, but caustic humor
and the fact that his machine was somehow
or other mixed up with his Bible, his politics
his every thought and every emotion, gave
a certain imposing reality to the man tina
evoked sympathy from hearts which are OF
dinarlv inaccessible to soft and poetic emo
tious. AS a general rule, however, he Woul.
not unbend. and looked amid all the WEISS
tudeS of his wanderings as tough as a Nan
+ucket sailor. The varying climates ant
tongues, the fatigueS of travel, the aspect c
the different countries, however plcturesqu
or desolate, all the thousand strange lmpre'
sions awakened in foreign lands which ar
so apt to affect ordinary minds, produced II
effect whatever Nuller's. Though II
spoke no word of any language eXceptn
the classic vernacular of our Eastern State
he made himself Ineligible to trenchmeI
Italians Arabs, Greeks, Russians, and TURK
His countenance had actually assumed
course of time, the form OF taclt adFertls
ment There was not wrinkle IN IL tn'
did not admonish the world to buy the IN
chine. and not a trown that did not spea
daoucrs to those inseuSible to this behest.-
When the time came for uttering the prals
of his invention, the expression OF his ia'
and person, which also had become part III
parcel of the machine, had already worked
sort of magnetic effect which generally !
suited i'll adding another miserable pure
ascr to the number of his folks
His first appearance was altogether ina
scribable in its unique and racy effect. /
would enter gentlemans house, pla'
himself upon the finest rocking char or
van in the parlor, and as the master OF u
house came in, he would look lelSurely al
composedly at him through workout e
glass as if to inspect closely the features
his intended victim, and then, saying WI
n Slight and naughty bow: MY name
Muller have sold eighty to the folks
Cairo one hundred to the folks at Consti
tinople sixty to the folks Mt Beyrout,'
would cross his legs in nonchalant ms
uer. occasionally hum little air, and bt
time with his feet in gentle though ratt
provoking manner. He would allow pan
of a few seconds to elapSe as II to give
moments grace, or if to mesmerlze
victim more completely. After the exp
sternly in his face, and say with an auth
itatiye tone well, sir am man of b
mess. and my time Is precious; You had |
ter take one of my machines at once a
without leaving any opportunity to put
the shortest word of reply, he would 5
denly change his rather startling abruptn
into the greatest volubility, unfolding
the advantages of his invention, and, a
having talked for about twenty mimi
with nervous eloquence, resume his orlSl
noSition of business ease, and eye ms Gu
ner through his glass most caTaleriy,
10 gloat CON dIR0re over the leallul ia
nrodnced by his stunning grafton. A
General rule Muller was successful anu
ficnIarly so among the Turks and ARABS.
To the oriental mind of the MoSlem
Ter was the embodiment of Western ei
prise As a snake fascinates chlIa, SO
Ter captivated the children OF Mano
There such contrast between ms
of perpetual motion and theirs OF uhoI'
respose, and at the same time such
gulf between his utilitarian and
dreamy conceptions of life, actual
produce an entente cordidle between n
and the Ottoman.
Muller swopped feZ against one of
worn ont hats, and his amazed fri'
seeing him also in the streets of STAN
in a span-new suit, and questioning hi
This remarkable innovation, coupled
that of the Turkish feZ, Muller replied
one of his most sarcastic smiles
swonDed;'' or in other words, the In
tailor at Pera let him have new su
barter for some of his calculating mac
Fuad Pasha and all the other great
taries of the Sultan took great ian
Miller and his machine, and Tor some
Muller was regular prOteSe OF tne gu
Porte He also called upon dlstlngl
English tourists at the principal note