The Lansing state Republican. [volume] (Lansing, Mich.) 1855-1874, 1866-04-25
The First Baby.

The following Is sent US by a friend who
has doubtless had experience in such mat
tiers, and knows al about IL:
By the Rev. :. ". B. TO {. G.
only daughter. exc. No cards Why
didn't il say no babys I have one Of those
interesting animals al nv house. II came
when Il ralned. dark as pitch and nv um-
orella al the store. no cars running. The
doctor lived five miles due west. and the
nurses six miles due east, aud when / GOT
home 10 the bosom Of my family. the con
densed mlkman was NJ The next door. Il
IS funny little chip that baby. SOlterinO
color, ana the length OF a Bologna sausage.
cross ! guess not. I'm. um: IL com
menced chasing me down the pathway Of
life Just when muslin. linen and white fan
nel were The highest they had been since
Adam built house for Mrs EYES chick
ems Doctor charged two dollars sQuint.
lour dollars grnnt and on accoRat. OF. L0e
is lett - :. mans pocket. no discount for
cash, aud sent bill Tor balance January
lst. y poor little thing Is that baby;
speck or a nose Ike a wari; head as bald
as q squash. and no place 10 hitch a water
fall; mouth inst suited 20 come the gum
game and chew mix. Oh. crackee, YOU
should hear her slug l have bumped IL,
stuffed my fur cap down its throat, gwen Il
the smoothing iron 10 play with, but that
little red lump that looks as II il couldn't
hold blood enough 10 keep a musquito from
iaintiug, persists in yelling Ike thunder
Il shows a great desire 10 swallow is fists.
and the other day they dropped down It's
throat. and all that prevented their going
clear through, was the crook Of the elbows
Ii stopped ITS music. and and | was happy
one and "a hall minutes It's a pleasant
thing 90 have a baby IN the hOuse-One Of
your belly-ache kind
Think OF the pleasure Of a father. in
dlsha0ille, trembling in the midnight hour
with his warm feet upon a square ward of
cold oil cloth, dropping paragoric IN a lin
spoon 10y moonlight; somebody humping
on the door. Wife Of your bosom shouting
hurry, and the baby Yelling till the frescO
drops from The ceiling. Its nice time 10
think Of dress coats pants. Ties and white
Kids. Shades oi departed cocktails. what
comfort what picture for an artist
in plaster al paris lis mother SAYS the
darling Is troubled with wind on the stom-
ach-lt beat ai the wind instruments you
ever heard. have 10 yet up IN The cold
while the milk warms-it uses the bottle
miraculous soothing syrup bottle on the
dash board. trlei 10 stop as breath the
other night was no 20: / rocked IL SO
hard ] missed the straps. and sent IL slap
across The room. upsetting lar OF pre-
serves.
Il didn't make any noise then. oh. no
It's mother says only wait iii 10 gets
beached. dts been vaccnated,) and old
enough 10 crawl around and feed on pins.
Yes. I'm going to wait Won't il be de-
lghtiul, John run lOr doctor, sis has
fell in the si0p-pail, and is choking on
potato skin; SIS has fell down stairs; sis
has swallowed the tack hammer: show
signs OF mumps, measles. Group, whOoping
cough, smallpox. chOle. dysentery, cnOlera
lniantum, or some other darn thing 10 let
the doctor take al the money laid by for
my winters corn beef ana all this comes
OF shampooning and curling nv hair wear
ing nee clothes, looking handsome. going
a courting, anu making nv wife fall in love
and marry me.