The Vinton record. [volume] (M'arthur, Vinton County, Ohio) 1866-1891, 1866-08-23
| For the Vinton Record.

The Flattest Yet---Butternut Re
port No. 2 Of the Union COnven-
tiOp---" False Syntax" for the
Million.
Some "beginner in composition" has put
the climax on all the bad English we ever
saw in print, in two.and-a-half column
article, entitled "Vinton County Union
Convention" published in the Record last
week.
His first twenty lines, in which he mikes
up the Deity and General Washington very
strangely, are certainly as far from being
a sentence as any twenty lines of newspa-
per matter we ever looked at.
Then he talks about the Chief Justice,
and, catching the word fugleman' from
Secretary pro bono publico, he turns it in,
and continues his strain t,oenty-one lines,
and again fails to make a sentence, or TO
say anything that anyb0dy can understand
Farther on in his 'hOtch-potch' of words,
we gather from his strange commingling
of participles, that he, the amateur essayist,
doesn't think Mr.. FELTON, competent to fill
the Auditors office. This is joke certain
ly. No sensible man, acquainted with MIR.
FELTON,, questions his ability to fill the office
properly. He is thorough business man
and an excellent book-keeper, although he
is farmer, as the author of the tangle-
Drained article would say. He for over
twenty years, merchant, and ID a man of
good business education and careful busi-
ness habits. The insinuation, from the
composer of phrases, that a certain person
is to be a substitute for Mr.. FELTON,, is en-
tirely gratuitous. The young man toward
whom the writer's remarks point, we are
prepared to say, has other business than
playing Auditor for this county.
The clear writer talks about the fugleman
pputting these men on the track and then
elect them, so that he could get into an Of
flee in sneaking and under-handed way
against the wishes of the majority of the
people of the county" 1t would be clever
in the fugleman to get t,co men on the
track, and extremely clever to elect BOTH
After such feat, he ought to be a 'substi-
tute' for something. Wonder if.he would
make good Probate Judge9
At the head OF the column on the second
page of the Record, the fellow piles up fif-
teen lines which lack as much Of being O.
sentence as did his first twenty. Then he
says some poetry about equal to the Irish
man who exclaimed
Them that has money can ride in their
chases,
But them that has none-be jabers! they
can walkp
Then follows brilliant thing about
Brown township. 1t fills twenty-five lines
and fails to say anything. Then some po-
etry;
''Who tor others prepare
A trap, should beware
That he don't himself fall into the snare !"
Equal to the old rhyme
'sThe idle fool
| Got whipped at school,"
"a dog will bite
A thief at nightw
and about as appropriate.
Then follows showing, clear as mud,
that Col. Phillips, who was warm friend
of Col. Putnam's, didn't have a fair show
in the Convention. Then comes a flood Of
words to the extent OF twenty-three lines
of prose and sixteen lines of poetry, (par-
ticular hallelujah meter,) destitute of an
idea, to remedy which, the writersugges
a "moral."
A part of this brilliant combination Of
participles runs as follows: I'VE give II
italicised by the original.]
"McArthur,. .perceiving that Zaleski was
in the lead, resolved here to make desper-
ate effort to outdo the witty ones of ZdleS-
Hi, and thus play off on Col. Phillips tC
this terrible rate, of nominating Col. Put
nam when he had been ,oithdrd,on by the
delegation proposing him and then snub-
bling then, (who2) by a loud and boisterou.
clapping of hands and stamping Of feet, ir
order to cheer the Bropn to,onshi Up delega-
tion, and the Zaleski candidate, but they
looking with considerable silent contempt
as could be seen from their conduct ant
countenance, Zone to the partyD plainly
said that while they viewed