The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1866-09-27
9aynSsrsolt ynteAlligtltter,
Scraps, Facts and Fancies.

What is the difference DetWeon a.
nuction and soa-sickness?-One IS "a saIs
! Of effects, the other the effects OF sail;
NV son, you must startup from THIS
lstbapnyp aWould you have me an up
WHY is a iailor in danger Of being
eorrunted? !? Because he keeps bad com
~ To love and labor is the sum of liv-
ine: and yet how many they live who
neither labor nor love. i
An Irishman charged with whipping
: his wife, defended himself on the ground
that he was batting q Duisance.
"A young lady out West was charged
with 'putting on airs" because she retus-
ed to 20, to ball barefoot.
- Unsocial old Snarl says that love Is
a combination of diseases-an affection OF
fhe heart and an inflammation of the brain.
Poor Caudle said he dreamed that
he had an. angel by. his side, and upon
waking up found it was nobody but his
wife.
-A-rady visiting girls school asked
one of the children if she was making a
ehemise. ssNo, ma,am," said the girl
bashfally, ''it's henise."
ooh, she was jewel of wife p
says Pat, mourning over the loss of his
better half; .''she always struck me with
the soft end ofthe mop"
Mrs. Jenkins complained the other
evening that the turkey she had eaten
did not set well. aProbably," said Jen-
kins, .it was not hen turkey"
A western editor wishes to know
whether the law recently enacted against
the carrying of deadly weapons applies
sto doctors who carry pills in their pocket.
Whoever is courteous, honest, frank,
sincere, truly honorable, generous and
candid, is q true gentleman, whether. rich,
learned, or laborcr.
-aDc. you like noyelsS" asked Miss
Fitzgerald of her backwoods lover. II
can say hereplied, "I never ate any /;
but Pm death on possum."
"A Freedman was arrested in Rich
mond throwing brickbats at his wife's
window. She had shut him out, and he
took that method of dieting her know
he was dar."
- A London writer, in speaking Of
bonnets, says the eoal-scuttle was in
vogue when blushing was known; but
that art of 'infrmity being now obsolete,
OF being rendered a permanent attraction,
the coal scuttle is dispensed with.
Blushing is said to bea sign that
something of the angel is left in woman,
beautiful to the eye and bespeaking the
inward purity of tho heart! When wo-
man ceases to blush she has lost her
greatest charm.
:, II is said to be dangerous to be work
ing with sewing machine near q win
dow,when there is thunder storm. 1t
is also dangerous to be working near
some sewing machines when there is no
"A chap being asked to explain the
paradox of how it was possible for lazy
man to attain so much education, answer
ed; II didn't-attain-I just heard
here e-and-there-and was too lazy to
forget"
"a colored cook expecting company
Of her own kind, was at a loss how to en-
tertain her friends. Her mistress said:
aChloe, you must make an apology"
Ella missus, how. can;I make it? | got
no apples, no eggs, no butter, no muffin to
make it wid."
A merchant, examining hogshead
of hardware, on comparing it with the
invoice, found it all right, except ham
ner less than the invoice.
aOch don't be troubled" said the Irish
porter; ssuro the nagur took it out to
open theahogshead with"
As four darkies were passing an ag
ricultural implement store in Nashville,
one of them pointing to acultivator, said,
ssA man kin,iis set on dat az ting an ride
while he's plowin." aGolly," said anoth-
er, ade id rascaIs was too sharp to tink
O dat fore de niggars was sot free"
= - The Duchess of Marlborough was
pressing her husband, the great Duke, to
take medicine, ,ssand said, with her usual
earnest manner I'll be hanged if it do
not prove servieable." DR.. Garth, who
was present exclaimed, "Do take it, then,
nv. Lord Duke, for it must be of service
one way or the other"
A nurseryman advertised that he
would supply all sorts of fruit trees and
plants, especially pie-plants Of all kinds.
4 gentleman thereupon senthim an order
for one package of custard seed and a
dozen mince-pie plants. The dealerprompt
.ly filed the order by sending him four
goose eggs and small dog. :
: = A young lady having "set her cap"
for. rather large specimen Of the oppo-
site sex, and having failed to win him,
was telling her sorrows to couple of her
eonfdants, when one of them comforted
her with these words: aNever mind,
Mollie, there is as good fish in the sea as
ever was caught" "Mollie knows that"
replied her little brother, "but she wants
whale"
90 -"Facts are stubborn things" said a