The Iowa transcript. (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1858-1866, 1866-04-04
Hill Arp Addresses a Law
school, and Gives his
Experience.
MrLLEpoEy1LLE. Georgia. Feb, 1876

y
School, 0nd Gives his
Experience.
MILLEDGEvILLE, Georgia, Feb, 1866.
Messrs. C.. c.. Cummings and Others, Com
mittee: Gentlcmen-I have received your
kind invitation to address your law skool.
In the situation by which am surrounded,
it is impossible for me 60. wish could,
for would like to tell you all know about
law, and it wouldent take long. I'm now in
the law business myself at this place. We
are engaged in manufacturin' it by whole
sale, and after q while it will be retailed out
by the lawyers to anybody that wants it.
It's IN easy business to make law, though
some of the bills introduced are awfully
spelt. To-day l saw bill in which s'ma-
sheenery" was spelt with two esses and
four ease. But the greatest difficulty is I'm
derstandin' the law after it is made. Among
lawyers this difficulty don't seem to lie so
much in the head as in the pocket. For FIVE
dollars lawyer can luminize some, and
more according to pay. But he oughtent to
luminize but one side at time. The first
case ever had in q justice court, employed
old Bob Liggins, who was sort of self-edu-
Gated fool l give him two dollars in ad-
vance, and he argued the case, as thought,
on two sides, and was more luminous agin
me than for me. lost the case, and found
out afterwards that the defendant had EN-
ployed Liggins after did, and gave him FIVE
dollars to lose my case. l look upon this as
warning to all clients, to pay big fees and
keep your lawyers out of temptation.
My experience in litigation have not been
satisfactory. l sued Sugar Black onst for
the price Of . load Of shuks. He said he
wanted to buy some refuess, and agreed to
bring him load of shuks for two dollars.
My wagon got broke and he got tired wait
ing, and sent out after the shuks hisself.
When called on him for the pay, he seemed
surprised, and said it had cost him two dol
lars and a half to have the shuks hauled, and
that jestly owed him half dollar. He
was bigger than | was, so l swollored my
bile and sued him. His lawyers pied set
off for haulin'. He pied that the shuks was
unseund; that they were barred BY limita-
tons that they didn't agree with his COW
that he never got any shuks from me. He
sseMi6dlsf .a6oat 40 tfmes" The bedcvlied
jury went out and brought in verdict agin
me for fifty cents, and four dollars for costs
Of suit l haint saved nary shuk on my
plantation since, and don't intend to until
1T gets less expensive. look upon this as
WdTulu ~ Ill AOihSS HCNCI " ~ w low 0OVus
shuks, or any small circumstance.
The next trouble had was with a Teller
who hired to dig me we'll. He was to dig
it for twenty dollars, and was to pay him
in meat and meal and SIGH like. The vaga-
bond kept gettin' along until he got all the
pay; but he hadn't dug nary foot in the
ground. So made out my akkount, and
sued him rs folders, to-wit:
Old John Hanks, to Bill Arp, DR..
To we'll yon dident $50
Well, Hanks he hired cheap lawyer, who
rared around extensively and said heap Of
funny things at my expense, and finally dis
missed ny case for what he called its
riiikulum absurdum." paid those costs
and went home q sadder and a wiser man. |
pulled down my little cabin and moved it
aome hundred yards nearer the spring, and
I've drunk nifty little well water since.
look upon this case as a warnin' to all folks,
ncrer to pay for anything till you hare got it,
especially If it has to be dug.
The next law case had gained by my
self by the force of circumstances.
bought 0 mans note that was given for the
hire of q niger boy. Dix. Findin' he would
not pay me, sued him before Square Me-
Ginnis, beleevin' it was such dead thing
that the devil couldent keep me out out Of a
verdick. The feller's attorney pied failure
of consideration, and non est .taktnm, and
igais fatuis, and infancy, and that the mig
gers name wasent Dix but Richard The
old squire was powerful secesh, and hated
the Yankees amasin'. So, after the lawyer
had got through his speech and finished his
| readin' from . book called " Greenleaf,"
rose forward to an attitood. Stretchin' forth
my arm, says I, esquire McGinnis, would
ask, sur, if this is time in the history OF
our afflicted country when federal law books
are to be admitted in southern peoples
court? Haven't We seeded forever from
their foul domination? Don't our Gag wave
over Fort Sumter, and what, sur, have we (
do with northern laws? On the very fus
page Of the gentleman's book, l seed thu
name Of the city Of Bosting. Yes, sur, il
was written in Bosting, published in Bos-
ting and sold in Boosting, where they dom
know no more about the hire of niggel
than an or knows the man who will tan hi
hide" | sed some more things that were
pintcd and ratrictick, and closed my argu
mcnt by handin' the book to the squire. H,
| put on his spectacles, and after lookin' q
the book about minnit, says he:
"Mr. Arp, you can have Judgment, ant
/ hope that heneeforth and forever, no law
i
BILE court with pisen documents to prove hi
case. If he do, this court will take it Is NJ
insult, and send him to jail"
/ look upon this ease as warnin' to al
who gamble in law, to hold p good hand AM
play it we'll. High justice and patriotism
are winnin' trumps.
After this had . difficulty with a ma,
by the name of Kohen, and l thought
wouldent 20 to law, but would arbytrate
had bought Tom Swillin's wheat at dolla,
y hushel, Il he couldent do any better, and i
/ he could do better he was to come back an,
aipe me the preference. The scamp went Of
and sold the wheat to Kohen for dollar an,
five cents, and Kohcn knowed all about hi
contract with me.
Me and him like to have at, and pcrhap
would if hadent been puny; but wo fnall
left it all to Josh Billings to arbytrate. Oh
Josh delibcratcd on the thing for three day
and nights, and finally brought in an awar
that Kohen should have the wheat and
should have the preference. hain't sub
mitted any moro cases to arbitration since
and my advice to the people is to arbytrat
nothin' if your case is honest, for there ain
no judge there to keep one man from trick
ing the other An honest man don't stah
no chance nowhere exsepptin' in cowl