The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1866-09-27

this exhibition of uncaled for force ano
rudeness on your part and then you came
out in il deprecatory, half Apologize way,
stated that the company had prohibited any
one from going into the telegraph Office, foI
the reason that they might read dispatches,
and had recently discharged one from that
depot for permitting it aud you pointed t.
printed slip, fastened up on the inside OF
the door which had neither read nor no
| ticed. | accepted in silence the remarks
aud acts you made, and then and still be
lleve them false. for your telegraph instru
ment was silent, aud no dispatches were
there to be read, neither was going or ill.,
tending TO go into the Office, as you well
kuew-for | stood on the threshold of the
door and was in the act of STOPPING to take
mp my satchel, that stood within a foot OF
the door, when you rudely and without
warning thrust me back, and slammed the
| door in my face Not knowing but this
| course was in accordance with the lnstruc.
ton of your employers, and not desiring
that the animal that appeared So tittul and
irritable under your shirt, should make any
| further offensive demonstrations | stepped
70 the door of the depot, and seeing few
feet from the depot door dry, dilapidated,
artificial fountain, with a low post in its
center and lead pipe by it, with a stop
cock in its top and having contemplated the
erecti on of fountain on my own grounds
for use and ornament, | thought | would
take a view of it, by closer inspection, as it
might give me some important information
to forward my own home designs, not
dreaming that you could object to such in,
Spection.
So stepped out to it in company with
the person with nom | came to the depot,
(who had just then hitched his horse). and
while was looking at it, you came to The
door oil the depot, in a querulous, authorita
tive tone of voice, commanded me mot to
touch it, for the boys were always troubling
you about it; that in consequence you had
taken the top of it off and laid it away. to
prevent its being damaged that you had
built it at great expense to yourself and it
was then all out of repair and would not
work, etc. The implied association of my
gray head and beard with boys, twas rath-
er amusing to me, and the whole harrangue,
tone of voice and manner was so ludicrous
Iy uncalled for and out of place. that left
the viewing of the old dry lead tube and
stop cock OH its top, to have nearer view
of the creature the railway company kept
at the Brockton station who seemed so anx
ious to foist himself into notice by such of
fensive, ungentemanly comicalties. You
appeared to be in furore of excitement and
its cause was to me unknown for | had not
at that interview passed half dozen words
with you, none of which was other than re-
spectful and betting supposed that the
onerous duties of that pleasant morning in
opening the depot-looking at the silent tel
egraph instrument and dry fountain and
attending to me and my satchel, had upset
your equanimity-or that your morning cot
fee or something stronger, had too much
of the Pure Java, in it. So | concluded
you wanted soothing, and not having about
me any of Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup
to administer. | adopted the next remedy
as | vainly supposed-for your relief, by
stating TO You my intention to erect foun-
tain and convey the water to it from a
spring and that if you had any experience
in that department | should be pleased to
be informed. as 1t was necessary III my case
to elevate tine water for that purpose, from
IA flowing spring, by ''flydrauIic Ram, y
On utteriug the term, ''HydrauIic Ram"
you contemptuously and snappishly correct
ed my ignorance 10y saying the water cod
be raised above its fountain head only by a
''battering RAM" | suggested that bat
tering ram was in use 10y the ancents to
batter down walls, etc, and that the hy-
draulic ram, to elevate water with, was of
recent discovery, and that Webster, in his
dictionary made distinction between d
''Batteriug Ram and ''ilydrauIic Ram J.
You pretentiously and dogmaticaly stuck to
your definition of the term, and and as an
evidence that the water ''battered'' made
motions with your fingers rapping up I'M
der the seat on which was sitting. saying
IN domineeriug, angry tone of voice. that
the water i'll tue ''battering RAM made a
like motion and sound, and that you cared
not forWebster nor his definitions naming at
the same time, some obscure person as an
engineer, (whose name is not known in the
books) as your authority for your own sci
cntific opinions.
In reply to this overwhelming exhibition
of abstruse and scientific lore l mildly asked
you if you could inform me how long the
Roman Legions under Titus were engaged
in battering down the walls of Jerusalem
with the powerful water rams" YOU de-
scribed. At this question you became abu-
sively indignant and demonstratively tur-
bulent. The ''hexors and extensors'' Of
your right arm became violently agitated
and your voice elevated to the alto diaboc
tone. You pretended to be so deaf that you
could not read Geographic communications
by sound etc. The cars arriving, stepped
aboard of them, leaving Brockton and its
''batteling ram, i'll their rage and glory
in the meanwhile, as | sped towards Erie
cogitating what fools Noah Webster auo
his compeers must have been, in comparison
to the luminary so brightly beaming in al
obscure hamlet in Western New York
To prevent disturbing your querulousness
| shall in the future if business or pleasure
calls, take stop off ticket" for the Port
land Station, just east Of Brockton, as sucl
erudition and pertinacity, exhibited by til,
keeper OF that station is too overwhelming
for me, as my scientific Investigations hav,
been limited hitherto, to about fifty YEAR
close application. | am open to conviction
On arriving at home and resting from my
journey, having several editions of Web
ster's and other dictionaries in my library
and few moments leisure memory O
fancy suggested your ''battering RAM" anC
on opening Websters latest edition, 0
Springfield, Mass, published by G & c
Merriam, State ST., 1865, to my astonish
ment | discovered the ignorance of tina
world renowned, pedantical lexicographe
aud ms compeers, as demonstrated on pages
IA and 1898, and on pages CAT and TIA
where those pretenders have described. ant
pictured the ''batteripg ran,,'' used in de
moIishing walls, and the hydraulic ram,
used in eievatlng water, as different ma
| chimes.
| address you this note, because in m,
opinion q charge you nothing for this opin
ion true science requires that you drop
short note to Alexander Holly. Esq IAN eini
nent civil engineer of n. Y City, un
der whose supervision the cuts wer
made. illustrating the edition of Webste
above referred to, proposing that in tn
next edition of that elaborate work, a PROV
er representation of battering ram t
raise water with be inserted. AnG | wo