The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1866-01-26
Odds and Ends,

mining. Mine-miner-minus
Why is President Johnson like CHM
borazo? Because he's the greatest of all
the Andes.
Long words, like long dresses. frequent
ly hide something wrong about the under
standing.
Herod's wife is said TO have been ike q
Fenian organization, because she had a
head sent her (head center.)
The idle should not be classed among
the living; they are sort of dead men
not fit to be buried
POOR ECONOMY.
Many man, for love of pelt,
To stuff his Golfers. starves himself:
Labors. accumulates, and spares.
10 lay up ruin for his heirs;
Grudses the poor their sclnty dole;
Saves everything-except his soul" "
When are YOU going TO commence the
pork business ?" asked 4 person OF ano:l-
er who had a sty on his eve Explain
yourself. SIR said the afflicted gentleman,
"Why. | see that you have your six
quite ready" True was the reply,
land I've one hog in my eye now"
In the town of -. In Connecticut,
lived an excentric character, Squire s.
noted for his oddiIy and singular speeches
The Town he;,rse having by iong use. got
INTO a dilapidated condition, Ii WAS deter
mined to GET up Il subscription and repair
it. In due time the committee called ON
S. and asked him TO subscribe Tor the OBJ
Ject- "No," says ihe squire, - won't
give a single cent Twenty wears ago /
subscribed five dollars 10 build the uld
thing. and neither myself nor my family
ever had any Use for ii from that 10 this,
and j won't give cent 10 repair III
1.-The tailor makes the man., - emphat-
ieally declared village philosophical
" No. sir" replied a bystan,!er. III Is
dress that makes the man Then what
does the tailor make g. "Well. per-
haps from ten TO fifteen dollars profit on
a suit
The late Rev. Samuel Fiske once pray
ed in the pulpit - that the Lord would
bless the congregation assembled, and that
PORTION of il which was on the way 10
church. and those who were al home get
ting ready TO come. anl that, in Ills inf
mite patience, He would grant the bene-
diction TO those who reached the house Of
God Just IN time for that" By ihis ,x-
centric mcthed the clergyman succeeded
in breaking up i bad habit
A MEDICAL SSUB.-Some twenty wears
ago farmers harm in the vicinity Of
Worcester was struck bv lightning and
burned 10 the ground. Many oi the ,isi-
zens had gone 10 the fire, when a Top.
well strapped and dickied. with his cap
on one side of his head. met 4 celebrated
doctor and accos.ed him in this wise -
Can YOU. ah, iell ne, docior. how lar
they have succeeded in eziing,ii,l.ing the
coniiagrliion of the all. unfortunate yeo-
mans le.rn?" The d,cfor evel ihe ia
diyiiual attentively, dropped hi> head as
usual for a moment, and linen Slipping his
thumb and finger in his ye>l poehe,- took
out 4 couple OF liil> and handed them 10
him. saving: - Take tlcsc. >ir. and 90 10
bed: if You do hot feel any better in the
morning. call a; my Office
Nf,>- NJ. rTa,a
don't take lea, iil-treats the cat, takes
snuff. and stands with his lack 10 tie fire,
Is a brl;e whom | wonld not advise aou
10 marry on any consideration, either for
love q mol.cv, but decidedly hot i,'r love.
but thc man who, when ia l. over, l.
discovered TO have had ncne. 4 very sire
II make the be>t husband. Patience ike
his deserves 10 lie rewarded Win the h,>.
OF wives and best ol mo.lar-iil-.aw>.-
Ny dears, when you meet with >uch 4
al:,n. ia your best II marry him. In iilc
>cvereSt winter he would not mimi gCine
10 bed iir>i-f'a.ci-
You ask me which IL the mos; best thc
married or single coi.ii>hun Mos; etery-
body. nj some time in ihtir life. has incl
the single stale: also, TaSi everybody has
hankered after the double state or con-
disIiun- have tried both s1alc-. and aln
ready 10 swear, that ii 4 man kan yii Il
woman who can fri pancakes on hoih >ile~
without burning ilaen, IA don't haaher
TO he a wonrlns konai;ly. iic married
state IL a hcycn and aria lwl 10 on>t.
But after awl. the married state i good
deal like falling out of Il cherry tace: i. a
person don't happen lew git huri. IL l.
good reason ior not lrieins ii again--JoSs
Billings