The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1866-09-25

ago, who was quite as remarkable as Sir Boyle
tor bovine tendency. There is letter OF ms
in existence. as tollo Vs:-'My dear trlend, lelI
my KNIFE at your lodpiDgs yesterday; pray send
Il TO me IL YOU should find it.-Yours, CALINO.
r. s. Never mind sending the knife; have
found it,"
home with a basket of provisions, the postscript
to which read:-'You will lind my letter at the
bottom of the basket II, by chance, you should
fail TO do so, let me know as soon as pOssl.
bIe.I Calino once tried to get q certificate of
defective sight from the surgeon of q regi-
ment TO which he belonged, to avoid some
military duty. 81 am so near-sighted," said he,
'ithat / can't see the stripes on the arm of that
ccrporal over there"
One winter day, friend of Calino, walking
with him in the garden OF the Tulleres, said:-
"Calno Ill bet you twenty francs that you
don't walk across the frozen pond yonder on
HDoner SAID Calino taking his shoes and
stockings in his hand. But when he was half
way across he turned around, saying it was too
cold to 60 any further, and made the best OF his
way back, thus losing his bet, though he mad
gone the same distance as though he had
walked all the way over. OF the same character
was his action when he took lighted taper
10 find his way down q pair OF stairs without
accident and after getting down brought 1t back
with thanks, leaving himself at the top OF the
sta1s in the dark, IN precisely the same position
from which he had started first Calino was
once on an excursion where lodgings were
scarce, and in looking about for pillow found
large stone jar, on which he laid his head very
contentedly. Some one inquired of him II it
was not rather hard. "Not at all, said he, ''for
I've stuffed it with hay"
1t was wise saying of his that providence
had placed death at the end OF life in order TO
give people time to prepare for it.n One day
friend took q knife from him in joke, and, say
ing 'thank you" put IT in his pocket. Come"
SAID Calino, "it you don't give me back that
knife, I'll rip you up with it."
Some stories are told, also, of the Able de
Matignou which have been appropriated for the
Irish. When the able was at the house of his
uncle, the Bishop of LisieuX, he was shown the
cathedral, and his guide told him it was built
by the English. "Ah !" said he, with contempt,
81 could easily tell 1T was not made here
Madame de Froulay asked him how old he
was.
''Why, am only thirty-two," said he; "but
l count myself thirty-three, because a little boy
was born a year before / was, and died-evi-
IDENTIFY keeping me back whole year by acci'
dent"
When his sister-in-law had her first child he
could not tell friend its sex, because said
he, "the child made such q noise that l posi-
lively am unable to say whether ! am an aunt
or an uncle.n
That will do very well for the French; and
there are surely enough stories OF German
blunders in speech to prove that our TeutonIc
friends possess in a peculiar degree the faculty
supposed to be exclusively Irish. 'Lasht Friday
night, next week vot ish pehint," said one,
wash the worst as nefer wash. / fought l co
town hill up TO mine house, ven no sooner
L
ness so tick l can't stir it NIT my poots; an ven
l see mine hant right pefore mine face, can't
tell its dere; an de rain, dunder an bliXen In
more as tree minute mine skin vas vet troo to
mine clos. Put after Won leetle vile ii stop
quittin' TO rain someting, so / keep feelln' my
self all de way long, an ven | comes to mine own
house to walk in, vat you tink? dunder an bliXen,
him belong to somepody else !" An lrishman
could scarcely improve that.
Whenever the paternity of a bull is uncertain
an ATTEMPT is made to father it on some unfor-
tunate Emeralder. Yet it was Scotch woman
who said that the butcher of her town only
killed half beast at time; it was Dutchman
who said pig had no ear-marks except short
tail; and it was a British magistrate who
being told by vagabond that he was not mar
ried responded ''thats good thing for your
wife.n Ii was an English reporter who stated
that at meeting of the British Ethnological
Society there were exhibited 'casts OF the skull
OF an Individual at different periods of adult life
70 show the changes produced in ten years."
though Dean Swift mentions two skulls pre-.
served in Ireland one of person when he was
a boy, and the other of the same person when
he had grown to be man. reporter of the
Herald wrote in that paper some years ago, that
a lecturer at the Academy OF Music practically
illustrated the manner in which a fly walks
on the celing.n 1t was at prayer meeting
in New Hampshire that worthy layman
spoke of a poor boy whose father was
n drunkard and whose mother was a widow;
| and it was at negro ball that, in lieu OF
mot transferable" on the tickets, notice was
| unless he comes hisself." II was an American
lecturer who solemnly said one EVENING"
Parents, you may have children, or, il you
| have not, your daughters may have" And it
| was Western editor who wrote:-'A cores
| pondent asks whether the battle of Waterloo
| occurred before or after the commencement of
| the Christian era. We answer, it did,"
| Maine editor says pumpkin in that State
| grew so large that eight men could stand
| around it; which statement was only equalled
| by that OF the man who saw flock of pigeons
| fly so low that he could shake stick at them.
| Those two observing men, one of whom said he
! noticed that when he lived through the month oi
May he lived through the year, and the other
| OF whom said at wedding that he had remarked
| that more women than men had been married
that year, were neither Of them Irishmen. When
| Sir Boyle Roche exclaimed, II would give uI
halfway, the whole-of the Constitution tC
preserve the remainder" he only followed the
analogy Of THAT juvenile poem which states thai
| ''Three children all a sliding went,
| Twas on summer day;
| The ice was thin, they all fell in,
| The rest they ran away"
| Even John c. Calhoun once, in enforcing thu
theory that all men are not created equal, re
marked that "only two men were created, ant
one OF these was woman;" and Presiden
| Tayler's ''all the world and the rest of mankind
is household word.
DIR. RUSSELL the well-known correspondent
| of the London Times, enters the ranks q
novelists with work entitled "Dr. Brady"
| The last guess about the author of "Ecc
| Homo" is that it is from the pen of R. H. Hut
ton, distinguished English Journalist.
-Dentu, the well-known PatdiS Royal editor
has given f20, 900 Tor the privilege of publishin
the catalogue of the Great Exhibition.
Mr.: Sutherland Edwards first novel, 9Th
Il rr,,.s,1 I