The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1866-11-24

WHEN you are in danger of eternal
enemies, look out. When the peril Is
from your own unbridled passions look
in.
AN old lady, being asked to subscribe
to newspaper, declined, on the ground
that when she wanted news she manu-
| featured it.
THE tears of beauty are like light
clouds floating over heaven of stars,
bedimming them for moment that
they may shine with greater lustre than
before.
A COUNTRY editor who with single
boy does all the work of his Office, says
he does not know how he can shorten
his expenses unless he cuts off his DEVILS
legs.
BROWN was asked by young lady
who had been dancing the German"
whether "he saw her feet ?" "No,
madam" he said, with a solemn shake
Of the head" far from itr'
Mr.. MCCLURE, of the Vancouver's
Island Legislature, recently spoke for
seventeen consecutive hours, in order to
defeat bill. He kept the floor up to
the hour Of adjournment.
WHEN was Rome built 2" inquired
% comparative" examiner. "In the
night, sir!' "In the night? how do
you make that out?" "Why, sir, you
know Rome wasn't built in day !"
A NEGRO woman of Lexington,
Virginia, wishing to make way with
her child, left it in bed and placed q
wash-tub Of water by the side of the bed,
and then left home. On her return the
child was drowned.
Books of devotion and those of love
are alike bought. The only differences,
that there are more who read books OF
love than buy them; and there are
more who buy books of devotion than
read them.
A MAN who was boasting that there
never was any rope or cord, whether
made of hemp, wire, or anything else,
in which he could not tie double bow
knot, was summarily put down by being
requested to tie a knot in cord Of
wood.
AS the bosom of earth blooms again
and again, having buried out ofsight the
leaves of Autumn and lOosed the frosty
bands of Winter, so does the heart, in
spite of all that melancholy poets write,
feel many renewed springs and sum
mers.
A FAsHIoNABLE friend on taking
leave of a young ensign who was living
in a small apartment said, "Well,
Charles, and how much longer do you
intend to stop in this nutshell?" To
which he wittiy replied, " Until be-
come kernel"
AMAN in Randolph County, Indiana,
supports eight sets of children-one set
by his present wife, three by former
wives, and one set belonging to the hus-
band Of one of his. former wives by pre-
vious wife-oightecn children in all.
That man is certainly entitled to the
sympathy of the community.
AN Irish servant having carried a
basket of game from his master to
friend, waited considerable time for
the customary fee 4; but not finding it
likely to appear, scratched his head, and
said, "Sir, if my master should say,
Mike, what did the gentleman give
you?' what would your honor have me
to tell him >"
A GOOD anecdote is told of house.
painters son, who used the brush dex-
terously, but had acquired the habit of
putting it on too thick. One day his
father, after having frequently scolded
him for his lavish daubing, and all to no
purpose, gave him ST 7ere tiagellation.
"There, you young rascal" after per-
forming the painful duty, show do you
like thar?' "Well, don't know, dad"
whined the boy in reply, " but il seems
to me that you put it on thunderin'
sight thicker than dldh