Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1866-12-01
MATRIMONIAL MATTEA6-
wANTED-A HEART!


want, al, me I want heart,
Blu, not heart for love,
80 To feel the smart Of Cupid's dart
1 And also rhyme With dove.
DO no, wan. manly hs,~
With high desires ,pgiow
Or feel what tries 9sbip can impsrt,
Aud sympstny can bes'ow.
The heart for which long Is none
OF man's-nos ye, If maid's:
oily want II li',le one
To trump that trick in spades.
Wha. is the difference Le:we-n ~ edi-
| tor and wife? O.e sets ariiclcs 10
righ's, aud tho other WI ties articles TO set.
A ,"upx lady s'eppsd into he store Of
a m'rc liant by the name Of Wade, and
very 'na"c"n'ly said n. would like to
peiyhci (Wahe.) "Rca1y | am We:
sorry" ea'! he, bot my wife will tell y"u
tina, yoy are too late by four or i've
years.
Josh Billings says: "Marrin COZ lo1s
may b- "a little risky, but it is 80 Honest
that God kant help but smile at it,
The Ottomans drink great deal &C ten,
Office and >spi'i:s, smoke great many
pipes, and marty great many women.
my dear ydpng LADY," exclaimed =
gentleman II am ns'onished at your sen
''"e"'S. Yon actoa'y make me start
upon my word YOU been WILL WI sir"
replied the lady, NV. So '"s 70
start you for the last hour
A lady hired . western country girl for
"help, and was surprised to see h.. r poke
her head into the ppr'or, one afternoon,
when visitors wer" prrcent. and xsk ~
"Ma'm did 20" call just nov? th,uyht
| h-arn a yeil!'
gentleman presented a lace cnllsr ~
the object Of his admiration, and, in !.
Joau"r wy, said: "Do rot !c, any one
else r"mpIe it 40, dear, III TAX, L.
off, said lhc lady.
A dwelling house in Utica, N Y, wa,
rnbnrd last June Of large amour, Of
female wearing apparel and many o.htr
articles, inc!"din. "a wiring desk contain
ing the CORE pon!reGre ut ,he house
.th'G few days every article has been
returned thr ugh the office, Accumulated
by y letter frrm the thief, which cl, sed
with the declaration that if he "m,rri-d
again, she Che young |aly) should be his
bride.
"Daushter,' said a fond mother, WHO
the oil speculation Ia mad. a,i.,ocratic,
has Mr. Brown pr posed yet" Yes,
m'n, exclaimed the laugh e. "he pro-
posed III It We 90 hn.n hi, evening aud
get some raw oysters.
1t -, rer>ars, after an. n UGH better E.r
LAZY to r-'ilrn her Dan. cheeks. ttsu to
b'acken other peoples characters.
IL tn" windo~ of shop kept Ly ladv
:" NV York, is a card with the Words
"No reasonable "I..r refused"
q rman paper stats that Young
man recently married a widow twice his.
age and he r'ainej subsequently,,
'ha, his wife had once been his wet nurse.
l. costs three ;'o4s .nl dol lars TO dress
pr.tily i'll the III snivg-n Paris.
Dnchm once w,n''l to we'd a
widow. "nl his manner OF m king known
hls ,te't'"n Vas - iuI!ow>:
''lf You - cnutent n get IA b ter for a
worse, - b" happy for mi<rrah ;" aud
At yon snake. and drinks all. -ha,i taLe
va f"r .tn bitter and much n.r>e CI-
O" which the a'y 81 d, "Iaw"
A cnrrr-pnnlan, from ,he Rocky
NJ un'ai" region says that when an Ida O
s'si - Kissed, she beck up surprised, AID
IN an-"ilc torres, IT. Which rrsr., and RI.
scn'men' are equally mingled, tx
claims -"liew c'n'd yon? 7" which
the sAn'n re.h"s and j. eIlr.ied l., IT.
ply: 1T VII G':A az great pleasure 20
show YIN. An! Immediately furnishes
the WISHED for u,lra, O.,
A burglar VS. once Frightened ont Of
his schtm" II rn,'-sy by lh.- sAert sim
pl'"i'y "f a s,Iiary ~Iln>,,r VITO pa'linx
her nirh'-cap1ed hr.I nu. ut tn. window
eN"'A'mtI, go away, amt you a>h.m-
ed!
A lady abont TO marry, was warned that
her intended. although n good man xaU
very -cren'Tic Well, she said. '.if he
is very unlike other r-n, h. is more like
y t. be ~ good Lusband.'
lon can take i, for granted tina, when
young lady is too nervous TO ven ure
| into II lobby al me, an! insists upon your
company. she expects some reward IS
soon as the door !. closed.
Mr. S"nehurne in his rev book. is al
ways t"'"'ng OF scorching kisses, aud says
of one Of hls prrslar heroines,-
II dare not always touch her, lest the kiss
Leave my lips chnrred,"
O"e OF the critics suggests tha, there is
a para'lrl this in literature, in the case Of
the well-known monkey who
"Marred the ha'boon's sister,
Smacked h's lips and then he kissed her,
Kissed so hard he raised Il blister;
The married people Of Pa,is average
only two children TO family.
A good story is told Of rustic youth
and n buxom country girl, who sat facing
each other at n hnskiag party. The youth
sn,i,en with the charms of the beautiful
maiden, only vcntnre1 sly look, and now
and then touching Patty's foot under the
table. The girl determined to make the
vou.h axpreas what he appsar ell 80 warm.