davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1866-11-29

STICKS Music HALL.
THIS TNENING-flKSr POLNANSkl OUABrETTE con
lLhI. P-L-.n.L h---.-e-n. krlenlo-- and L-loEans.
The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1866-05-24
A Foreign View.

There is n good deal in the subjoined
article from the London Times, that is
worthy of thought on the part of all
havinh any hand in framing a policy
to be pursued toward the South
While we would not adopt all of its
suggestions, there are some which
might well be pondercd by radically
disposed persons, including a large
portion of the majority in Congress:
The utmost that can reasonably be
expected from people situated like the
Virginians is such political conform
ity as Gen. Lee declared to exist. 1t
is barely twelve months since these
men were engaged in one of the most
desperate wars OF modern times-a war
fough to "the bitter end" with every
circumstance of passion and fury. To
expect that they should nowlook with
positive affection on their conquerors,
condemn their most eminent country
men as traitors, and rcpudiate as a
bominabIe the principles for which
they sacrificed their fortunes and stalk
ed their lives, is beyond all reason. 1t
is enough if they know themselves
beaten, if they accept the results with
out reserve, if they cherish no idea of
deferred rebellion. and if they are pre-
pared to return to their former posi-
ton with resolution to perform all
their duties as citizens, and with q
readiness to receive tho warmer i'm
pressions which time and lnteycourse
may bring. These are actually the
feelings with which Gen. Lee describes
them as now animated, More, it must
be evident, could not be expected but
if more is desired, it is manifest that
the result can only DO secured by that
very policy which the President has
avowed, and which the Radicals arc so
fanaticaIly opposing, If something is
still to be done--as nobody need deny
before Virginian can look upon
the Union as be looked ten years ago,
it can only be accomplished, as Gen
Lee affirmed, by liberal and conciliato.
The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1866-05-24
erind rAn ranIa.

Keep the tools sharp, or they will
not cut. A dull tool wastes time, and
he who permits it TO work in that con-
dition is dull fellow. The best turn
ers are those who have the sharpest
tools; the most successful surgeons use
the keenest knives, and the most en-
tcrprising and energetic men in civil
life arc those whose wits have sarly
been ground sharp, and whose per-
ceptive faculties have been whetted by
sore experience in early life. A dull
tool is useless implement, and thick
headed, unObservant person is the on
ly one who should be found welding
it. The obtuse edgo neither cleayes
nor separates, but bruises and works
off by attrition particles Of the sub
stance upon which it operates. Grind
up the tool and sharpen the wit as we'll;
if one is keen, the other in all proba-
biIity will be in similar state from
force Of sympathy alone. A boy with
a dull pocket knife is one who swings
on the gate and who lodges his duty;
he is one who in after life will be
Ounce and a cumbcrer Of the ground;
he will add nothing to the world of
science, neither will he take from it;
his existence is merely animal, and
his thoughts and ideas, if he has any,
wholly conventional. His comrade,
with keen blade, makes models Of
machinery, of boats or steamers, and
in time becomes "a George Steers, or
so develops his mother wit, as to be
decided acquisition to the community.
Let us have all the tools in good con-
dition, sharp, trcnchant, and always
ready for service; then, and only.then,
will the result produced be equal to
the time and labor expended. -Scien-
Hfc american.
The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1866-05-24

ry conduct on the part of the Govern.
mcnt. If passive acquiescence is to be
converted into cordial sy mpathy, il
must be by kind and generous treat.
ment. The policy of the radicals is
stultifed by their own professions
They pretend to desire more sympa.
thizing South than they have alread y
got, and then, to improve Southern
feeling, they propose TO inhct politi.
cal disgrace and humiliation on the
Southern people. They pronounce
them to be still dsaffected, or not suf
fciently well affected, and, by way Of
conciliating them,I would condemn
them to alienation and outlawry.-
Such policy stands selfconvicted, for
its only result must be to make bad
worse. .. .
1t is not probable that Virginian
looks upon the Government of the I'm.
ion exactly like a New Englander; no
reasonable person would expect that
he should do 50. 1t is enough for the
purposes of the prudent reconstruction
if the States lately in secession have
abandoned all ideas of independence,
and are prepared to make the best of
their position as members OF the Un-
nion once more. The rest must nee.
essarily be a work Of time, but it will
be accomplished most speedily, as well
as most surely, through such policy
as tho President now advocates. He
does not desire to swamp the South
with a swarm of black voters, nor 10
place the negro in q position of invid
ious and perilous antagonism to the
white man. He asks only for simple
professions of political honesty He
stipulates that the Southern States
shall forego their views of secession,
acknowledge and confirm the abolition
of slavery now and forever, deal fairly
with the eniranchised slaves, and re,
pudiate the debt contracted for the
purpose of the rebellion. To these
conditions they are willing to assent,
and the President would open the
doors of Congress to them and so re-
store the Union. What his opponents
desire, or profess to desire, we may
collect from the examination to which
General Lee was subjected. They de-
mand impossibiltes, for it is simply
absurd to require that the South
should humbly and thankfully kiss
the rod after thefashion they prescribe.
The policy of the President. on the
other hand, is a policy not only of mod
Grafton, but of promise. 1t bids fair
to bring back the South to those senti,
ments of perfect concord which the
Radicals pretend to demand, 1t is
Generals Lees opinion that such a pol
icy, aided by the indispensable coop
Grafton of time, will really produce this
effect, but it needs no argument to
show that policy Of provocation and
oppression continued after victory
must intensity and perpetuate that
very hostility which it is intended TO
cxtinguish.
The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1866-05-24
To Make Cows oiYe MIX.

A WRITER who says his COW gives
all the milk that is wanted in fami-
y of eight persons, ard from which
was made two hundred and sixty
pounds OF butter during the year, gives
the following as his treatment. 1t is
cheap and worth trial.
If you desire TO get large yield of
rich milk, give your COW three times
day, water slightly warm, slightly
salted, in which bran has been stirred
at the rate Of one quart to 9 gallons of
water. You will find, if you have not
tried this daily practice, that your COW
will give % per cent. more milk i'm
mediateiy under the effect of it, and
she will become so attached to tho
diet as to refuse to drink clear water
unless very thirsty, but this mess she
will drink almost any time and ask
for more. The amount of this drink
necessary is an ordinary water pail
full each time, morning, noon and
night. Your animal will then do her
best at discountiag the lacteal. Four
hundred pounds Of butter are often OBJ
tanned from good stock, and instances
are mentioned in the dairy statistics
Of England where the yield was even
at higher figure.
The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1866-05-24
ron rnINKERs.

CATECHISM FOR THINKERS.
What is the cause for high taxes?
The war.
Who made the war?
The Democratic party.
Why did they make the war?
Because they were expelled from po-
litical pawer.
Whywere they expelled from power.
Because they were owned body and
soul by an aristocratic, ambitious sec.
tional class interest, which, sought, in
defiance of the constitution, the will
Of the people, and natural right, to
perpetuate its power by obtaining con-
troll of the territories and the States to
be formed out Of them.
What chiefly encouraged this aristo-
cratic interest to make war upon the
Union?
The oft-repeated stereotypcd, pHbIic
declarations Of all sections, never re-
buked or disavowed by the party, that
the Union should be dissolved if the
demands Of shareholders were resisted
by the people.
Who were in power when the aris-
tocratic interest undertook to dissolve
the Union?
The Democratic party.
What did they do to prevent il?
Nothing.
What did they do to assist the trai-
tors? ...
They gave them the forts, arscnals,
cannon, arms, ammunition and public
money in the South, and sent them all
they could from the North
What did General Scott beg them to
do 10 prevent the war?
To do as General Jackson did, gar
rison all the Southern forts.
What reply did they make?
That the slave holders would'n MT
like it.
How long was the Democratic par
ty in power after secession commenc-
ed?
Three months.
What were the traitors doing all
that time?
Surrounding Fort Sumpter with bat
teries of British guns.
What did the Democratic Admins
tration order Major Anderson to do?
Let them alone.
What did the Republican Admins
tration do when Sumpter grew short Of
provisions?
Send her more provisions.
What did the Democratic party at
Charleston DO then with those British
guns?
They rained shot and shell upon
the old flag on the walls of Sumpter
until Anderson was compelled 10 lower
the flag and evacuate the fort.
What was the consequence?
Four years of civil war; the death
Of half a million of mon; a national
debt of three thousand millions dollars,
the high taxes and high prices.
If the Democratic Administration
did nothing to prevent the dissolution
Of the Union, what did the Republican
Administration do?
They prevented it.
Who said the war was a failure
The Democratic party.
Was it q failure2
Yes: on their side.
What do they ask the people to do
now, that they have failed in the war
they made?
Restore them to power.
Will the people do it2
We guess not.
The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1866-05-24

Booths gost clme in and wanted to
know what he wuz to hav in the new
deal, for, said be, "eft hadn't bin for
me where'd 700 all hcv bin. Talk Nv
the White House atmosphere KILN h i'm,
I'm sure the shadder nv the buildin
blasted what little w bis spirit yoo
see" said he, turnin 10 Seward, "but
eff Linkin he'd lived, ha! ha! scd he
in a tragedy voise. Then in trooped a
lot nv other ghosts. There wuz Bill
Allen, Nv Ohio, and Washington Hunt,
Nv Moo York, and Jeemes Bookannon
Nv Pennsylvania, and Ely Thayer and
Lew Campbell, and Garret Davis, who
started to make Il speech, but the en-
tire assemblage stuck their fingers in
their cars wich hint he took for the
first time in his life and desisted.
Finally Johnson swore "by the etor.
nal" Che got that noshun from the
first A. ]. witch he thinks he resem-
bles, COZ his initials is the same, and
coz the original vetoed bill wupst, J
that he wood hcv the Presidency and
gobbled it. Seward he snatched at it
and they tussled The company stood
by to see it out for it made but little
difference to them witch got it. In the
skirmage, johnson happened to ram
Seward up against a window on the
north side Nv the room and smashed
it out. Jest then blast NV north wind
poured into the room through the a.
perture and blowcd onto the face Nv
the corpse. The effect wuz elcctrickle.
Life ran through his veins, his face
flushed and the lived hue was changed
to the ruddy glow Of health. The
dead was alive-the giant raised TO
his feet, and locked around him, sha-
kin off them ez wuz a hangin 20 him
like insex. Noticin the trinket witch
he'd caused the skirmage in Johnson's
hand he TUX him BY the neck and
twistin it out NV his hand flung him
gently through the window. IL amt
made up my mind who to give this
to, but 700 bet it amt yoo," sed
lie.
"Wilyum," sed he, turnin to Sew
ard, "Im surprised at 700. Wuz
this bauble the price Nv yoor onesty
and yoor principle? Go! Wilyum.-
Be fer 700, Doolittle, 700 never wuz
haf baked; yoo, Thurlow, put Ray
mond in yoor vest pocket and quit the
presence. Yoo, Jim Lane, l leave TO
the tender mercies of my friends in.
Kansas. Clear out the balance NV
this rabble and send fer my friends
I've bin pizencd and smuthered and
stunk ny to deth. Clear out the
house and sweep it, and sprinkle chic
ride NV lime and sich all over it. Shut
down them Southern windows, and
open those on the North, East and
West sides. want snuff Nv fresh
air. fer | -"
AT this pirt awoke and found my
self not in the White House, but on the
steps thereof, cold and shiverin. In
my pocket wuz the papers wich didn't
get me the post orfs | wuz seelSin,
and III my mind was chaotic oontu-
sion. Wuz the dream prophetic or
wuz it mere vagary NV the mind
wich wen loosed from its clay sores off
onto its own hook without anv res.
traint? Is the giant Republican actu,
ally dead or is he in trance? Wilt
arise and scatter them ez hez appoint
ed themselves administrators OF Its es-
tate, and witch are beginning to divide
the assets, or will it stay dcd &? Wood,
oh wood that | knowed.
PETROLEUM V. NASBY.
Latte Pastor of the Church of the Moo
Dionancnch hmm
The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1866-05-24

B9~ThO biggest toad in the puddle
has been found. A gentleman informs
the Virginia (Nevada) Enterprise, that
a toad was found in cave near Hot
Springs, in the Truckee district, which
is about three feet across the back
Its weight is supposed to be not less
than seventy pounds. When disturb,
ed it moves about, making a pcffiing
noise. 1t is black ugly monster, vita
warts On his body as large as medium
sized potato, and has mouth that
opens like a carpet sack. A biz story
and q big toad.
The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1866-05-24

REMARKABLE REsEMBLANcE.-There
is between Probst and Coovert, the
perpetrators respectively Of the Deer
ing tragedy and the Deerfield horror
most remarkable personal resem-
blance. Both are about five feet sew.
en- or eight inches, have blue eyes
light hair, and "turned up" noses, stri.
ding walk and quite q stoop in the
shoulders. Both served in tile army
and both have lost the thumb of the
right hand, purposoly shooting it off,
in order to be discharged from the
army .... .....
The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1866-05-24
Good Coffee.

To have really good coffee that
Strengthens and stimulates, the bever-
age mus; be strong-strong in distinc-
tiOn to weak; not dense enough 10 bear
an egg. Persons of weak digestion
find that weak coffee creates fatulence,
and is a burden gricvious to be borne,
while the reverse is the case with
strong coffee. A a-cup full of ground
coffee will make from five to six cups
as strong as it should be. OF course,
there are stomachs which can bear
turpentine, but they are happily in the
minority.
Coffee should never be brought into
contact with iron. Timed coffee.pots,
that have been used for some time, are
apt to get worn on the surface, so that
the iron the tin plate is made of comes
through. When this occurs the coffee
will be bitter and black, for it attacks
iion, forming an acid very quickly
This, any one can see by putting few
drops on case knife.
Above all, to have good coffee, the
pot must be scrupulously clean. 1t
should be scalded every morning be-
fore using, and once week lump of
soda as large as walnut should be
put in the pot and boiled thoroughly.
The result will surprise many who
thought their vessels were clean.
The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1866-05-24
A Sharp RetOrt.

The New York Tribune of tho 9th
has the following nr
The Memphis Argus (RcbeD com
plains of the securities demanded by
Congress of tho late Rebels, and asks;
"What conditions Of security have the
Radicals to give for their future good
behavior" Has this Rebel organ for
gotten how promptly the Radicals
thrashed the traitors, crushed the Ro-
bellion, sustained the Government and
restored the UnionY Security! Their
promises to pay. like greonbacks, are
good without endorsers. .u.....
The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1866-05-24

g~"You bet, is strong phrase in
California, signifying strong affirma.
lion. The following story is told Of
that region.
A burglar at midnight climbed up
to a chamber window, and cautiously
opened it. The occupant CHANGING to
be awake, crept softly to the window.
and Just as the robbers face appeared,
pressed againSt it the cold, smooth
muzzle of revolver, which the injunc-
ton, "you git" "You bet" replied
the robber, dropping to the ground,
and running for his life. There is no
more pithY dialogue on record.
The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1866-05-24
WHEN 1 MEAN TO MARTY

h When do mean TO marryl Well
IT'S idle to dispute with fate;
But lfyou choose to hear me tell,
sI Pray listen while fix the date.
When daughters haste, with eager feet,
mothers daily toll to share;
Can make the puddngs which they eat,
And mend the stockings that they wear.
Whom tnaidens look upon q itian
il's Az In himselfwhat they would marty
And not rs army soldiers scan
sutlcr or commissary.
= When gentle ladIes who have got
The offer of a lovers hand,
Consent to share his 'earthly lot"
sar And do not mean his lot of land ....
- When young mechanics are allowed
~ To find and wed the farmers girls I..
Who don't expect to be endowed
With rubies, diamonds and pearls.
When wives, in short, shall freely give
Their hearts and hands to aid their spouses,
And live as they wore wont to live
Within their sires one.story houses.
Then, madam-if I'm not too old
Kejoced to quit this lonely life,
III brush my beaver, cease to scold
And look about me for wife! ..-.. -
The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1866-05-24

CHANGED MS MIND.--Professor Dun
can, Of Aberdeen, asked lady to mar
ry him; the answer was mo" The
subject was dropped, but they soon
met again. "Do you remember
said the lady, IA question put to me
when last We mot2" The professor
said that he remembered. "And do
you remember my answer?" "Oh.
Ses," said the professor. "Well, Mr..
Duncan" proceeded the lady, Il have
been lei to change my mind "And
so have l." dryly responded the pro-
fcssor. He retained his bachelorship
to the last,
The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1866-05-24
Mineral Railroad.
The Columbus Gazette says:

Inc NOlulllUuS UuHClIo hdO D.
awe learn that some 100000 of the
stock of the Hooking Valley Railroad
has been taken in this city. The
amount apportioncd to this city is
100000. The subscriptions along
the line arc quito liberal and the in.
dications are that the requisite amount
for the building of the road will be
taken.
The. Athens Messenger of the 10th
inst, after giving n list of recent sub
scriptions to the stock of this road, re-
marks as follows:
We feel confident that our people
will have the full amount made up be.
fore the issuo of our next paper and
then Athens will maintain her position
of being first and foremost in respond
ing to the calls made on her, especial
ly for an enterprise of so much merit
and value as the Mineral Railroad will
be. We hope soon to hear that Mel
sonvile has made up her proportion,
and then Athens county will have
responded as she should do, to an en-
terprisc of so much Importance to her
people. We hope soon to hear that
Columbus.has made up her amount,
and then having the two ends of the
line made up, the middle must res
pond, or be responsible for the failure
of the enterprise, which any locality
on the route would forever regret.
Come on Logan, Lancaster, Carroll
Winchester and Groveport and re-
spond to The call of the Mineral Rail
Road with Athens.
The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1866-05-24
An Omitted Verse.

On Ash Wednesday of this year
says the New Orleans Advocate, re
ligious services were held in St. Paul's
Protestant Episcopal Church of that
city on which occasion the officiating
Clergyman selected the fifty-ninth
hymn, which was singularly appropri-
ate to the day, but requested the con-
gregation to omit the third verse,
which was as follows:
"Aud cans't Thou, wilt Thou yet forgive,
And bid my crimes removed
And shall pardon d Rebel live
To speak thy wondrous lovei'
The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1866-05-24

lT"Your Cosmetic Lotion has cur
ed my face and hands, also my legs
and feet, of an eruption, after having
spent ten weeks and FIVE days in the
Now York Hospitals, without any real
benefit to me-" Writes Dennis Ne
han, 80 Maiden Lane, N. Y. t
The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1866-05-24
Let All Know 1t.

The New Orleans Times of tho 30th
ult. says
"At Columbus, Miss, on the 25th,
imposing ceremonies took place in hon
or Of the Confederate dead. There
was a procession of young girls in
white, and matrons in black, bearing
chaplcts, and boQuet of flowers, which
were placed upon the 400 graves in
the cemetry, where prayers were
said and an address delivered. The
Sentinel remarks that mo distinction
was made between our own dead and
about forty Federal soldiers, who slept
their last sleep by them. 1t proved
the exalted, unselfsh tone fthe female
character. Confederate and Federal
once enemies, now Misunderstanding
this tribute of respect"
If this be true, and there seems to be
little room to doubt it, the ladies of
Columbus, Mississippi have set no.
BILE example worthy of imitation by
all. Let it be told wherever news is
told, in commemoration of them, aud
that all may be melted to go and do
likewise. .--ZdnesuiUe Courier.
The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1866-05-24

1t sstated that within q month after
the opening of the Newo York State
Inebriate Asylum, over 1.5OO applica-
tions were made by wealthy parents
for the admission of their daughters,
who had contracted Incorporate habits
from the use of liquors at fashionable
parties. Ii
The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1866-05-24

Mr.. A. W, Lewis, of Boothbay, Me-,
upon opening his store, last Monday
morning, was surprised to find hole
in the floor of the size of tho stove,
and the stove lying quiet and cool in
the cellar. 1t had burnt directly
through, and the flames then went
out OF their own accord. .......
The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1866-05-24
Strange story about StonevaII jackson

Strange Story about StonewalI jackson
In Norfolk Virginia letter to the
New York Tribune, the writer says a
statement was made to him, few days
ago, by an ex,rebe officer OF Stonewall
Jackson's command, which on subse>
quent inquiry he discovered to be true
Speaking of Jackson, his old associate
said if lie had been in command of the
rebel army after Antietam the war
would have been brought to q close :
for that jackson proposed to Lee and
other officers that Mcclellan should be
deIicately approached with a PROPOSE
tion to place (McClelan) in command
of both the Union and rebel armies,
and then dictate to the Administration
satisfactory terms for peace, which at
that time would have been the depos.
irg of Mr.. Lincoln;" but JEFF Davis
got wind of the plan andit fell through
ave thought" the secesh officer said
"that the United States Government
had become aware of such plan, and
that was the way We accounted for the
fact of Mcclellan being relieved from
the command of the army"
The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1866-05-24

70 Tennessee having passed the bill
dislranchsing the voluntary partici-
pants in the war against the Govern
ment, proposes to follow it with anoth-
er disqualiying certain classes of citi-
zens who took an active part in the re.
bellion from holding offices. Tcnncs-
see will soon be bad State for Dem
ocratic office seeker to live in.-ZaneS-
uHle Courier #...
The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1866-05-24

According to reports of a sp ;ech by
John Bright, in support of the Freed
mems Aid Fund, in London, on the
26th ult., 9SO,OO0 had been sent to Ex-
cter Hall for that purpose, and more
was on tho way.