Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1866-12-19

ing supper, and talking and laffing almighty
slick-and then L LATED tew think as how
L d laff last Now jest by me, was barrel
of soft soap, and tub !; and | thought L
might jest as wal have good deal of sport
as little seeing" as Uncle Zack would
say, lit would mt cost no more; and so
jest got the tub, and filled it partly with
soap, and sot it right on the doorstep, and
then went back to look at the critters.
oval, the widder she'd say sumthing
funny, and Uncle Zack he'd laff; and then
Uncle Zack he say sumthing funny, and
the widder she d laff and then that tickled
me, and I'd laff Wal, arter awhile, 1t got
to growing more serlous--and the wldder
she d look down and blush jest like baby
that s been coughing, and then look up and
kinder smile; and Uncle Zack he'd sorter
twist round in his chair, like he had the
fidgets, and talk very low, and so knew
the matter was coming to a folks right fast:
After awhile, Uncle Zack he got up, and
wiped the Precipitation from his face-(for
We see it, tarnal hot work making love to
widder)-aud then he went and got the
bundle, and jest fairly held my breath, |
were so excited.
Il couldn't hear exactly what he said,
when he undid it but | guess it were sum
thing very nice, cause the widder she looked
So affectionate like, she did. and Uncle Lack
! so earnest At last the whole thing cum
out, as the papers say; and Uncle Zack he
| laid it on the table as the congressman say;
and then he pinted to it in triumph-with-
| out ever once looking at it himseif-w'th
! his eyes fixed right steady on the wIdder,
which tickled me so couldn' hold in. The
widder she looked fust at that and then at.
| him-and then at that and then at him
| agin: and then she turned red ID the face,
| and then white and then she looked a ht-
| tie of both mixed together; and then she
jumped up and down, and screamed right
| out:
'.Oh, you imp! you rascal you tarnal
scoundrel, youl what du you mean by
bringing wood chuck here for to insult
me?'
:" 'Taint woodchuck!' - said Uncle Zack,
staring at it with mouth wide open, and
eyes sticking right out; = tain t
You lie screamed the widder, jest as
| Uncle Zack going to say sumthIng
more; and she up with tea-cup, and took
him co-chug, right in the mouth. .--=--s4=-
| 1T S all mistake!" said Uncle Iack.
''You lie!" hollered the widder; and
then come The shuggar- bowl, co-chug, right
| in is face-jcst as il the widder were ago
ing to sweeten him.
''Wiil you listen to me, marm? reared
! Uncle Iack.
| You're villain hollered the widder agin
and then she throwed hull custard pie,
that took Uncle Zacl right on the chin.
| and splattered his clean shirt cola all over.
| Cit out O. my housei hollered the wild
der agin; and then she run to git the broom,
and Uncle Zack he run for the door, and L
| lay right down on the grass, and rolled over
and LATED, and laffed and laffed; till tho
there weren't no such thing as gIttrn or my
| breath agin and then, pooty soon, seeu
the door open, and | riZ right up on the
grass to see the fun; and jest as he was
cunning out (Uncle Zackl he turned round
to say sumthing; and the wldder by TINS
time had got so mad that she pitched rlght
into him and then his foot slipped, and he
fell o-souse right into the tub OF soft soap !;
and the widder she fell co-chug right on to
him and the tub and the soap, Uncle Zach
and the widder, all rolled off the door steu
together; and [ rolled right over agln on
to the grass, and laffed, and LATED, and laff-
ed, till didn' t feel bigger round the waist
nor yalIer wasp.
"Oh, Lord - says Uncle Zack.
'Oh, my = says the widder.
This ere's the evil one S work" says
Uncle Zack :,
''And you're the evil one!" says the wild
der and then she up and slung hull hand
full of soft soap right into his mouth
couldn't stand it no longer, and hoi-
lered right out.
''Oh, mercy mercyl" cried Uncle Zack,
Citing on his knees, awful skeared
Run, Zackariah!" cried l, in hoiier
voice
And Uncle Zack did run; and he run on
one way and run t'other and we lett the
Widder j ulip to fight it out with the wood
cnuck and soft soap.
Next day | seen Uncle Zack. He looked
very solemncholy, he did; and says Uncle
Zack: &C,
.VZeb, don't blieve I'll ever git wife
Il I've got off the notion.
s'What' S the matter, Uncle Zack 2 says l.
''Why, We see, Zeb, [ don't b'lieve TINS
ere rural conjugal felcity-as some folks
call it's wat they think it are-l don III,
, decd" and Uncle Zack shook his head ano
, walked off and | couldn't never git hinl &c
say nothing more bout marrying, or tne
, widder, never arter that | guess that nlgh'
, | was enough and he gin 1t all right up.
When the Yankee had finished his story
, found myself rolling on the floor, minus
several buttons, and most of my compan
+ ious in like predicament =,
As fast as we recovered, We each and al
stood treat in turn; and when the 4anke,e
> retired that night, he couldn' tell hl,nsen
from pile of bricks.
I An ex-reber Major General in the South
west declines TO converse on political MAI
/ tiers. because he considers himself paroieu
: nr;Soner and as such has not the rght u