The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-12-19


| A congressional prayer meeting society has
been organized. May it prove beneficial.
Why is a young mans arms like tho gospel p
Because it makes glad the aca'st places
Why is John Morrisssy like the Red Sea p
Because he is death on Faro.-TauntOn Gaz
Atrocious cruelty-the whole republican par
ty setting upon and beating "a negro in Ward
Three.-BoSton Posi-.
man who got drunk at an election, said
was owing to his efforts to "put down party
spirit"
All the Astors, of New York, are at Washing
ton anxiously seeking information about the i'm
parchment programme.
Senator Wilson is visiting the battlefelds
around Richmond. He did not do it with his
regiment.-Iaws- Gaz.
The President says be is just as guilty of the
charge of completely in the assassination plot as
of other charges-and no more.
Secretary Mccullough proposes to discharge
all his female clerks. The dear creatures make
no end of trouble, and besides there are 100
more than are needed.
liza young lady wishes to encourage her lover
when he gives her squeeze, the best thing she
can do is to reprsSS him.
Missourian visiting Chicago, on Friday
night went to bed, after closing his windows and
blowing out his gas. There was q dead Missouri
ian in bed next morning.
Senator Sumner says ''as the muskets of color
ed persons were once needed, their votes are
needed now. But under no circumstances must
they be made common couneilmen of.-Bosto,r
Post.
Leading citizens of New 0oreans have invited
rna1ov .-.A al,
western tour, and it is believed he would have q
cordial reception.
poor Irishman seeing crowd of people APP
preaching, asked what is the matter "a man
is going to be buried"
son. he replied, 'sI1 stay to see that, for we
carry them to be buried in our country"
The Emperor of Brazil visits the United States
to study our MISUNDERSTANDING.
There are only fragments left. He can study
the pieces as Agassiz does fossils to see what
kind OF creature it was, not is,-Lou. Dem.
montgomery Blair has been rendered the posi-
ton OF General Foreign Agent, or attorney to
take charge of the collection of claims against
the late confederacy. He has not vet accepted
it. 1t will require residence of several years in
England and France.
John G. Sake, as soon as he completes his
present lecturing engagements, will sail for
Auiopo IA OCOtik, Visiting If63L Britain and
the continent. He viii be accompanied by Mrs
SAKE, and correspond with the Albany Argus
The following order, verbatim, was received by
a Chicago undertaken :-"Sir: My wife is ded
and wants to be berried tomorrow morning At
Wunner kiock. Q knose WAR to dig the hoal--
bi the side ofmy too other wives-Let it be
beep."
Old lady Go hackman) -'But these hacks
are dangerous. know rhn in
them. We might get the small pox."
Coachy-"Y ouve no cause to be afraid of my |
coach, mum, for I've lad the hind wheels waccin- |
ated, and it took beautiful
A clergyman, in Madison, Wisconsin, Rev, |
Mr. Matson, Scotchman, lately electrified his |
congregation by getting grossly inebriated, and |
IN reply to gentle remonstrance of one of his |
deacons, blandly intimated that the church |
might go to HI; and that ne was going to Scot |
land. |
Congress has q sharp eye to business. IF i. |
makes law for the assembling of the Forsieth !
on the 4th of March, all but the new members |
will get several thousand dollars on the average
some more, some less-extra mileage for Jour |
neys never performed
lis there any person you would particularly |
WISH me 10 marry ?" asked a widow expectant of
her dying husband who had been somewhat of a |
tyrant in his day. s'Marry the devil if you like"
Vas Vas the gruf reply. ooh no, my dear, you
u Is not lawful to marry two brothers."
.,aou, who died for you ?" asked a person Of
o. ',O JILL IL sweet sixteen. Nobody, as know
D Dssted w; n. pasf reply But the parson re-
sou? Mary was irrita.sd. but rsped ''e8 1vh hof
nobody, sir; there was Bod Dowsop isa ny
for me about six months, bus folks say he e' t
about ag'in." gu
If the rebellion of Shaya in Massachusetts. and
OF the whisky people in Pennsylvania, had been
punished, as il is now proposed to punish the
rebels of the south-both Massachusetts and
Pennsylvania might now be mere territories, in
lieu of states.
How LONG SHALL LrvE.-When Henry Mar.
syn went out as a missionary, he was told he
could not live long.
aHow long" said he to the physician, edo you
suppose shall live ?"
Seven years." was the reply.
''Oh, seven years I" said the angelic man