Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1866-03-01
4ntuarpna geaaiag.
Bill Arp Addresses the Lebanon Law
School and gives his own Sad E1-
perience.

Bill Arp Addresses the Lebanon Law
School and gives his own Sad E1-
perience.
MILLEDGEvIEL, Feb. 1866.
Messrs. C. C.. Cummings and others,
Committee
GENTLE MEN-IhaYe reseyed your kind
invitation to address your law skool. In the
situation by which am surrounded it is
impossibul for me to 90. wish I could,
for 1 would like to tell you all l know about
law, and it wouldent take me long. I'm
now in the law bisness myself at this plase.
We are engaged in manufakturin it by
wholesale, and after awhile it will be retail
ed out by the lawyers to any that wants it.
It's an easy bisness to make law, though
some of the bills introduced are awfully
spelt, To-day saw bill, in which "ma.
sheenery" was spelt with two esses and four
ease. But the greatest difficulty is in un-
derstaudin the law after it is made. Among
lawyers this diHkulty don't seem to lie so
much in the head, as in the pocket. For
Eve dollars a lawyer can luminize some, and
more akkordin to pay. But he oughtent to
luminize but one side at time. The first
case I ever had in jestice court, employ
ed old Bob Liggins, who was sorter of a
self.educsted fool. I give him two dollars
in advance, and he argued the case as 1
thought, on two sides, and was more lumin.
ous agin than for me. I lost the case, and
found out afterwards that the defendent had
employed Liggins after l did, and give him
FIVE dollars to loose. 1 look upon this as a
warnin to all clients, to pay big fees and
keep your lawyers out of temtation.
My experience in litigation have not been
satisfactory. 1 sued Sugar Black onst for
the price of load of shuks. He said he
wanted to buy some rufness, and I agreed
to bring him load of shuks for two dol.
lars. My wagin got broke and he got tired
waitir, and sent out after the shuks hisself.
When called on him for pay, he seemed
surprised, and said it had cost him two dol
lars and half to have the shuks hauld,
and that I jestly owd him half dollar.
He was bigger than l was, so swallowed
my bile and sued him. His lawyer pied a
set off for haulin. He pied that the shuks
was unsouud that they were bard by lin.
itations; that they dident agree with his
COW, and that be never got any shuFs from
me. He spoke about an hour, and aliooded
to me as swindler about 45 times. The
bedeviled jury went out and brought in q
verdik agin me for fifty cents and four dol
lars for costs of suit l haint saved nary
shuk on my plantation since, and don't in
tend to until it gifts less expensive. | look
upon this as warnin to all folks, never to
90 to law about shuks, or any other small
circumstance.
The next trouble had wus with feller
who hired to dig me we'll. He wuS to
dig it for twenty dollars, and l wus to pay
him in meat and meal, and sich like. The
vagabond kept gittin along until he got all
the pay, but hadent ding nary foot in the
grown. So I made out my akkount, and
sued him as follers, to wit:
Old John Hanks to Bill Arp DIR.
To l Well you dident dig $50
Well, Hanks, he hired cheap lawyer, who
rared round extensively, and said heap Of
funny things at my expense, and finally dis
missed my case for what he called its "rid-
ikulum absurdum." paid those costs and
went home a sadder and a wiser man. 1
pulled down my little cabin, and moved it
some three hundred yards higher the spring
and I've drunk nifty little we'll water since.
l look upon this case as warnin to all folks
never to pay for anything till yonve got 1t,
espeshialiy If 1t has to be dug.
The next law case 1 had gained it all
by myself by the force cf circumstances.
I bought mans note that was given for
the hire of niger boy, Dix. Findin he
wouldn't pay me, l sued him before old
Squire McGinnis, beleevin it was sich a
dead thing that the devil couldent keep me
out of verdik. The feller's attorney plead
failure of consideration, aud non see taktuna
and ignis tatuis, and infancy, and that the
nigger's name wasent Dix but Richard.-
The old squire was powerful secesh, and
hated the Yankees amazin. So, after the
lawyer had got through his speech and fin
ished up his readin from book called
m9reenleaf," rose forward to an attitood.
Stretchin forth my arm, ses 1, esquire Nc
Glnnis, would ask, if this is time in the
history of our afflicted country when FEEDER
al law books should be admitted in South
ern patriots court? Haven't we seeded
forever from their foul domination Don't
our flag wave over Fort Sumter and what,
sur, have We got to do with Northern laws ?
On the very first page of the gentleman s
book seed the name of the city of Bosting,
Yes, sur, it was written in Bosting, publish
ed in Bosting and sold in Bosting, where
they don't know no more about the hire OF
q niger than an OK knows the man who
will tan his hide" sed some more things
that was pinted and patriotik, and closed
nv srsunent BIZ hcndin the book to the