Daily union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1865-1866, 1866-05-13
LETTER FROM ASA mARTz.


JAcoUE O'DMUTz, ESQ: M Dear BolV-
er.--I am glad the doctor vaccinated me be-
fore left home.
Vaccination is thought to be good thing,
my dear Bower, as a preventive of certain
loathsome diseases, and ] believe il is. At
any rate | am sound-sound, my Bower, on
the general goose.
Quitting the rural shades Of my country
home, ! recently paid a visit TO Washing
ton and TO New York. 1 was anxious 10
see and hear all that was 10 be seen and
heard, and a man possessing due amount
Of curiosity is apt to have his weakness
gratiied in one or both those places.
Washington is a big thing in its way, and
its way is peculiarly its own. You are prob
ably aware, my Bower, that of late years
people are in the habit Of picking out the
craziest man they can find, and of sending
those 20 chosen TO the Central Asylum at
Washington. There they are permitted to
give free vent 10 all the vagaries Of distem-
pered Imagination, and each mans idiOsyn-
crazy finds an airing. True, sometimes you
will find an exception TO this rule, but it is
rare. For instance, my Bower, some warped
intellect, an inmate Of the asylum, whose
days have been passed in a study of repre-
sentative government takes up the laugha-
BILE idea that the great American people
have Constitution which governs the con-
duct Of lawmakers. He is insane enough
to think that everybody else hugs the same
singular delusion. lie grows eloquent on
the subject but is generally brought TO
grief by some of the less crazy Of his asso-
ciates.
A short time since | visited the Lunatic
n IL Il Z
Went into both wards of the building. It's
fine house, and the magniicence thereof,
no doubt, has a modifying influence over
the inmates.
When / reached the hall used by those
facetiously called representatives, a gentle
man from Unowhere was eloduently urging
the necessity Of national aid to a canal, or
some other nonsensical measure of internal
improvement. He talked well, my Bower,
but rs a general thing, no one of his fellow
representatives heard a word he said There
YVES one crazy chap sitting near him with
upturned face and most attentive appear
anoe j borrowed an opera glass from a
saddle colored visitor, and brought il to
bear upon the attentive looking man. lima
CINE my horror when / discovered, nv
Bower, that he was fast asleep A crazy
man from Illinois got up short time after
ward and remarked, with considerable me-
thod in his madness, that the gentleman
from Unowhere didn't have enough niger
in his bill, and il couldn't pass"
had great desire TO see Thad and look
into his "breeches pocket" Accordingly
called upon the doorkeeper and begged him
10 point out the crazy Pennsylvania. lie
did 50, my Bower, and ] found myself in
the presence Of darkey so black that prin-
ter's ink would make n white mark upon
his face. approached the greyhaired old
chap and contemplated him with feelings
which invariably produce the desire to take
drink. Could it be possible that the re-
nowned Thaddeus was only darkev, after
all? or, was il probable that incessant le-
gislating upon the negro, talking negro,
thinking, dreaming and sleeping negro, had
produced the change Of skin which was be-
!ore me? | accepted the latter theory as
highly probable, and accostcd the great man
with the utmost reverence, thus
Hellol old 'Stevep How are you I?
How does she rum"
The sage Of Radicalism replied. as he
fingered his wool and exhibited his ivory:
guess you're mistaken; you is. Dis
amt Mr.. Stevens dis is Bill"
"Ah," said i, "Bill what Bill?"
civil Rights Bill, sab! Yah! yah /!
yahp'
Ny Bower, aim not sharp-as a general
thing-but you will excuse me for saying
that failed to see the point of this highly
colored Joke, and while his ebony knob on a
Freedman's Bureau drawer turned his shins
IN an opposite direction, ] WANDERED, highly
cussitied, into the vast rotunda of the Capt.
tol, there 20 indulge in little private swear
ing at the courteous doorkeeper who had
played upon my credulity by introducing a
negro TO me a Thad s.
! havn't fully recovered yet.
The pictures and things in the rotunda
are, generally speaking, very pretty. Espe-
cially is tins true of the Landing of the
Pilgrims" Indeed, my Bower, | thought
il il had never been more than picture the
country would have been spared much Of
the suffering and horror which il has I'M
dergone 10 satisfy the so-called philanthropy
Of those who boast Of being the descendants
Of those very Pills.
But vaccination is a good thing, my
Bower and il saved me from much trouble
in Washington for ] got of safely and
reached New York uncontaminatcd.
The most distressing incident of the trip
from Washington TO New York was the
breaKing down of the sleeping car in which
was deposited the great and good warrior,
Gen. Bottled +. Butler. l saw him next
my Bower, while crossing on the
ferry boat. The mighty Ben. was standing
between venerable citizen and myself, aud
presented to me n side view Of his historic
carcass, likewise Of his face. He knew the
citizen, and feeling portrayed the
danger 20 which he had been subjected and
the narrow escape he had. lie was looking,
at the gentleman to which he was
talking, but l was 50 positive that he was
me, that though almost behind
him, / could not shrink from the range of
that other eye l have no doubt, my Bower,
that Benjamin can read the thoughts of
your mind by looking into your face with
one eve, while the other is wandering
through the coppers and postal currency
which occupy the remote corners of your
pantaloons. He can do il.
But have reached the end Of my sheet,
Jacque, and must close. Will write YOU
again, and give you my impression Of New
York SO soon as get my notes in order.
Kiss for me the lovely woman you board
with, and tell her 20 get vaccinated at
once.
Yours, vaocinated
ASA HARTZ
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