The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1866-08-04
ADVERTISING FOR 4 WIFE.
A MAIL AGENTS STORY.

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ADVERTISING FOR 4 WIFE.
A MAIL AGENTS STORY.
IT is now some two or three weeks
since Il young gentleman entered the
office Of II Special Agent Of the Post
Office Department. in one of our large
cities, and announced that he had Sc
rious case of mail deprcdations torcport,
which he would like to have invCstiga-
ted Immediately. Being requested to
give the particulars of the matter, he
produced from his pocket letter adj
dressed to himself, and post-marked
with the name of small town in the
State of Pennsylvania. The envelope
bore unmistakable evidence of having
been opened and rssaailpd, and the adj
dress was in a lady's handwriting.
"Thcrc, sir" said he, carefully re-
moving the letter, and handing the en-
VelOpe to the agent for inspection, "that
'crc letters been robbed by some post
Office thief of tWenty-siX dollars. Now
| want you to catch him and put the
screws TO hin-give him ten years at
least. | don't care for the loss Of the
money" (it is singular, by the way,
how sublimcly indifferent to pecuniary
considerations most people are who pre-
fer these complaints), "but I'd like to
see the rascal caught"
Now the agent having had considera-
bic previous experience in the investi-
cation of cases of "riliing," was quite
sensible that a very necessary prclimi-
nary to such investigations was thor
ough knowledge of all the circumstances
connected with the affair, and after at
tcntivelyeXamining theenvelopc, which
was literally bcdiolDeE with mucilage,
he observed:
"Wcll, sir, will take tho momoran-
dun of your statement, and ifit proves
to be 'post-oilioe thief Us you say"
off it docs, sir! Why, who else can
it be? Isn't the envelope to speak for
itsclf-ha.n't it evidently been torn
open and gummcd up again? Ofcoursc
it is Il po,t-ofiice thicf-any one can sec
that"
Probably, sir, but I don't see it just
yet. BE good enough II let mo know
the name Of the writer of this letter"
The young man hcsitatcd, and at
once his manner became confused and
nervous.
"I'd rather not, if it's all the same,
sir; it's a young lady, and there are
peculiar circumstances about the case
and-in short, | don't want her name
mixed up with it,
"But it will be absolutely necessary,
in order to make apropcr investigation,
that | should know her name. Without
it, cannot undertake to do anything
in the matter"
The gentleman still sought for some
time to avoid giving the name of his
fair friend, but at last announced it as
Miss Emily Melville. Other questions
followed, rs to the circumstances. which
led to the enclosure of the money, etc,
to which the complainant answered in
an evasive, shulling way-cvidrntly
trying to conceal something of which he
was secretly ashamed. PereciynG that
the investigation was likely to make but
slow progress while conducted in this
fashion, the agent Observed:
My friend, my time is too precious
to waste in drawing information from
you with Il corliscreW, and you may as
well make up your mind either to give
me clear and unresorvcd account Of
this transaction ortoEo elsewhere with
your grievance. Now, please tell me
why Miss Melville sent you lor tried to
send to YOU this money ,"
$40 pay for some broadcIoth for a
cloak"
Which you were to purchase for
here"
" Ncs-that is, which | had purchased
for her"
con, / scc-tho Young lady was