American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1866-12-26
WIT AND WISDOM.

WIT AND WISDOM.
-"Democratic Colleges-bar. rooms.
Now is the time for wet feet, blue
noses, aching teeth. and sore eyes.
-Wanted-a plummet liLe long enough
to sound the depth of human misery.
The gentleman, whose lips pressed
lady's ''snowy brow" did not catch cold.
How may man he known from
dog? One wears shirt, the other pants
A man in Detroit adyertisos for a
partner in the nursery business. A new
way. perhaps, of advertising for a wife.
Some persons heads are like small
cheap dictionaries you find everything
there, except what is most wanted.
Boosting is sometimes out of place
We once heard man boast OF being
bachelor, as was his father before HIM
A certain landlady, it is said, makes
her pies so light that her lodgers can see
to go to bed without candle, after eating
moderate sized piece.
Never look at girls They can't
bear it; they regard it as an insult. They
wear their feathers, furbelows, and frills,
merely to crafty their mammas, that's all.
What was Adams religious belief
Eve-angelical. Gan absurd old bachelor
suggests that he probably changed his
belief when Eve began to 'raise Cain"
with him)
A practical joke was attempted to be
played on Mr.. Erskne. as he went one
day to Westminster Hall with his bag
crammed full of briefs. Some waggish
barrister hired a jews boy to 60 and ask
him if he had "any old clothes to sell -
"No, you little Hebrew imp" exclaimed
che indignant counsellor, "they are all new
suits !"
MAXIMs FOR THE DAY.-All things
are cheap which are purchased with 9th
er's money
" ithout bribe justice Is weak.
Policy is the mother oil principle.
A lean conscience makes tat office.
Never spare the public money,
Illegal voting is she mother of good
luck.
Never sell your vote on credit.
81 Patriotism covers multitude of sins
One good turn of Office deserves an
other,
-"Ethan Spike shared the general
disappoutm- Mt in regard to meteors. He
says: "While the clock was striking 8
| obsurved luminus bo ~ in the 49 h
parallel in the bee line with the couseila
tiou ZOrobsbel bearin sow west OF the gut
of Kansas at abonl 10 degrees above the
Public Garding Ii was movin rapidly
and appeared nearly as large as a piece OF
| ACCoiA4bS W q
standing with the Savars who was setlin
IN con.art with me, | despatched a nigger
boy with tue information to Cambridge
but ten minits later discovered the lu,
minus body to be the green light Of a
! B6sdon horse car.
| "A delicate little damsei of 250 lbs
avoirdupois got married last week, and
went on bridd-tour TO Marshalitows
The happy couple stopped at the Mars
shall house, aud we're assigned bv the host
to the bridal-chamber of that hotel. The
bedstead was bran new, aud mounted on
powerful eastors Very early the blush,
ing bride hied her to the couch Of love,
and unrobing carefully, langui lily threw
her fairy form on the elegant bed. Creak,
squeak, squeak, crash it Bent, and
down came the "bride of All evening,
breathless and scared upon the hare floor.
The young husband, who waited near the
keyhole with palpitating heart rushed 70
his itty darlin's" rescue IN timeito heir
her exclaim, '.confound the cussed thing,
it wouldn't hold skeeter"