The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1866-10-20
FACETEK.
WHEN is cat like a teapot! When
,-o,,,. taosiu; II

y WlSh ana WHY I'lbN'
4 WIFE in>San francisco lately put,
netition for divorce in the court on the
around that her husband was "a con-
founded fool" The Judge, who was an
old bachelor, would not admit the plea,
because every man would be liable TO
the same imputation who gets married.
AcrITIvAToR was espied by a PARTY
of Nashville negroes, when one sid
"A man can list sit on dat ting an rlde
while he's blowing" .'Golly,' said, an
other. ..de d-n raseals was too sharp
to think o. dat fore de niggers was sol
free"
MADAME, your boy can't pass for haii
fare: he is too large" said the cohGu't
OF OF a railroad train which had been
detained on the road by snow. HE may
he foo large now" replied the matIoh'
.hut he was small enough when we
started" The conductor gave H. All"
the boy passed for haii-hlc.
rRIrrLyss Young barrister says that
onv' vouno lady Who possesses one
thousand acres OF land' presents
cient grounds for All attachment
THE heighth of impudence-TaklInIg
shelter from the rain in an uihhfeiIa
shop.
D1,RrSG a case in which the boundar-
les of a certain piece OF land were 10 ne
ascertained. the counsel of one pai'
stated I'VE lie on this side, may, II
please the court and the counse! oi
the other part said, I'VE lie on TINS.
The Judge stood up and said. II You
lie on both sides, whom will yoH haNe
me believe =
81 nEoUEArH." said an irishman IN
his will, ito my beloved wife, all my
nronerty, without reserve. and to Den
mis- my Youngest, the rest. II anything
is left it may go 10 Terrence McIar'S
THANKSGIVING morning Il widowed
lady was summoned 10 her door to re-
ceiye a splendid turkey. WHO sent 1t
asked the lady. Il was told not to
Esp.n replied the Hibcrnian. An: i
can ruess." responded the lady. be
dad. that's what | tould Deacon Grant
"How well he plays for one so young"
said Mrs Darlington, as the Drgan-boN
performed with monkey near tie uOGf'
land how much his little brother looks
like him, to he sure,
FORMS AND BARRELs.-"Of what use
are formsl" exclaimed petulant legs
lator at DR.. Franklin; you cannot deny
that they are often more empty Things
-"Well. my friend, and so are barrels,
but. nevertheless, they have thciruSrs'
quietly replied the doctor
"WHAr's them after, Uncle Jerry"
said Mr.. -. as old jeremiah r
was passing by, growing most irr"-
|ciousiy. MATTER said the old man,
stopping short: "why, here | have been
luGring water all the morning for Or.
C-'s wife TO wash with. and what do
Won suppose ! got for it, "Why, |
suppose about ten cents, answered
Mr., Ten cents She told me the
doctor would pull u tooth for III" some
time"
/ \ rIIL-BoX factory in Bristol, Yer
mont. uses up 300 cords of birch wood
per aunm.-ET.
And the pills create demand for as
many more collins.
4 DISTINGUISHED West African tray
cllcr has met many sayagcS who were
p.rfrct "ChcstrrtiyldS in manner and
specch. which however, did not prevent
them from being liars and thieves.
4 sNonRY Englishman protests against
Americans writing books. and says,
"Prarics. steamboats,, gri$t mills, ana
notions are their natural objects Tor
centuries TO come" BIarSt his imp"-
dencc.
SOME Young men who were travelling
among the White Mountains, recently
stoppCd at farm house and called Tor
milk. After they had drank q large
Quantity, the woman brought them Il
larmc bowlfuf. with the touching rr-
mark. One would think, gentlemen.
YOU had never been wCancd.'
IRISH DuroMACY.-Two Ladies' and
Mr.. ThaddruS O'Grady were Cnnvcrslng
ON age. when one of them pat the home
question: Which of a., do YOU think Is
: the elder" "SUrr." replied the Irish
man. "yuu b".l look Younger than
each other
The RIASoN WHY 8 Family CANNOT
DE SUrpDUIED.-A man wilma large fam
lily wa, recently complaining of the diff
tcuity il" had i'm supporting them I'll.
WAS told b. friend rAa; j" had sons
Suu, hi- enough 90 earn something.
His answer WAS. YES. huc tlcy are too
biz to work
Hrra is .hr p.thi's, sermon ever
preached: "OUr iug:g-s M li." L. naked
ana bare: uuG progress through life j.
trouble and care; orr cgr"-S ont OF II