Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1866-09-03
THE DUTCH WHOEVER.
BY C W. BUNGAY.

to pc till shust before she diet, then sht
vas so goot as before" remarked Mr.
Vandenhorn to his neighbor Swartz.
"Your wife was an am;able woman
and you do great INJUSTICE to her memo
ry,' said Swartz ~
Veil, yot you know SO mnch aboul
mine frow for2 tBnsuerrH I'D
''I was not intimately acquainted witt
her, but am sure all her acquaintance
loved her af6-.
"Yot right had they to love her
May pc
MAY be what 2" al.
May pc you loved mine frow too 2
Why do you speak SO strangelyY'
IVY, Won day pig, ugly man shusl
like you came into our house. and kissed
mine from rite pefore her face.
Were you present at the time r
"To pc sure vos ~ fsn
Well, what did you do :"
| kicked him right pehind his pack.
Did he resent it n
Yaw, he proke me, and tie looking
glass, and all the rest of te crockery in
tie house, cept te fedder ped into one
tam smashup."
"What did you do then p
Den cried murder murder and
be called for tie shudge, and te shury and
tie bolice officer, and te constable, to come,
but he runs away.
"Do you intend to charge me with
taking such unwarrantable liberties with
the companion of your bosom p
Me no charge noting for it now, pc
cause she pc tead and perried" "
81 will not allow you to make such in
situations. Your are an old tyrant, and
everybody said you were glad when your
wife died. fNH
Everybody pc Won tam liar.
81 saw no symptoms of sorrow"
me felt more wush tan if my pest
COW has tied ~ .r.
Your cow what comparison "
''She vos a great loss-a heavy loss
for she vos so pig as dat spreading
out his big arms, aud she weigh more
tan two hundred poups" 'ttti tt
Look out, old man, or you will see
trouble yet. | doubt if your wife was
ever kissed by any man since she was
married. At all events you must apollo
gize for what you have said of me
" Vot is apologize 2
You must beg my pardon and say
you are sorry. If you do not, will en-
ter a complaint and have a warrant is
sued against you, and you will be tried,
convicted and imprisoned "
" | pc sorry, ten.
"Sorry for what /? " t.
Sorry YOU kissed mine frow."
You incorrigible idiot, that is not
what you must say, for never did such
a thing in my life.
" Must say you pc sorry you never
did such thing -
No-you must take back what yon
have said "
Nix forsiand vat you say.
While the Dutchman was in this di-
lemma, his friend, Hans hamburger
came that way, and finally succeeded in
reconciling the parties, and the trio went
into hoase hard by, where each drank
his neighbor's health at the expense of
his own.
Mr.. Vandenhorn sang Dutch songs,
and related Dutch stories, and enter
tanned his friends with the following part
of his autobiography. aaf4st
Our oldest son vosh a poy, and ven
he would not sthay NIT me, i set him up
in te dry goods, such as beer, cake,
schees, and red herrings Veil, Won
day, at town meeting, he sold te goods
and rund away NIT de br0hts, and
rund after him and kotched him near dat
pig parn yard, called Possom Common,
and l sot down on te step / looked at
him-he looked at me ! pegin to cry,
so did he, put my arms right round
his neck, and vot you tink 2
He apologized, said Swartz.
"He no apologize at all. Vot you
tink. hamburger p
well, suppose he promised to do
so no more"
mo, noting like dat; put my arms
round his neck and il vas not him and
he put his round my neck, and said it
vas not me-but he told Won great pig
lie, for knowed it vas me by te puttons
on my coat, and te boots ON my feet
Ven l could not find my poor little son,
| offered a reward for him said in
te newspapers dat all persons must
pring home my son dead en- alive an l
would pay chust S25 fur him tu Mr..
Swartz."
Dead or alive, said Bamberger.
"Yaw."
"By the by, Mr. VandenhOrn," con-
tinued Swartz, who had become quite
good natured, know a plump, rosy
widow, fat, fair and forty"
Would you like to have an introduc-
ton to her p
"Yaw."
No sooner saidithan done. Away went