The Iowa transcript. (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1858-1866, 1866-05-16
A !" Moving = story

Inc "Aocel OF the NuURlo I0WWeIOAt
has been moving Hear him: tsAe
Yesterday.wa the LIST of May, and every.
body, except those who were SO unfortunate
as to own their houses-thereby being liable
at any time to be sent to State Prison for
the taxes-noved.
We moved.
And it was the movingest sight we ever
saw.
Our readers ought to have seen the scene.
| Our folks commenced pulling up and
tearing down the traps . week ago.
| Most Of the "plunder" was thrown into
. heap and bumped off into loads, with a
total disregard Of ordinary rules.
The paregorio and hive syrup walls were
packed in our new hat--one Of Mackenzie 3
latest and best.
The castor bottles were placed in our
other boots, it being so handy to carry them
BY the loops. The stopper came out Of the
one containing tomato catsup, and the top
| OF the mustard concern was broken 06.
That is the best seasoned pair Of boots we
| ever had.
The other family insisted on coming into
| the house before we got out.
And so the things got mixed up some.
But We got oil that belonged to us, at
least.
The cartmen swore because the cook
stove was so heavy, and one said odd If
he'd have it If We offered it to him."
Didn't offer it to him, but offered both of
them drink out Of quarter barrel Of ale,
nearly full, standing in the kitchen.
They took livery kindly, but 1t made
'em thirsty ell the forenoon.
Guess the spigot must have got out Of the
barrel on the road, for We couldn't squeeze
half glass out last night.
Finally got moved.
Thought we'd have our supper before we
tackled the bedsteads and back room stove
Better half, with patch OF SCOT on her
nose. said supper was ready.
She was mad, because, when she asked us
to bring home key of soft soap, we pro-
posed an amendment, substituting a keg of
powder and q slow match.
Of it every day in noticing men and things
Sat down 1t the table and took cup Of
tea that was handed to US.
Thought it tasted strangely and prospect
ed the bottom of the cup. Found the brim.
stone ends of three broken matches.
Didn't drink any more tea.
Came near breaking one Of our teeth on q
carpet tack in the butter, and thought we'd
had supper enough.
Commenced playing put up bedsteads.
It's fun, when you like it.
But people don't like it, mostly.
None of the blasted rails would fit. Got
the wrong ones into the wrong posts, and
couldn't screw them up.
Marked them all with pencil before we
took them down, and thought we'd know
how they went together again; but some
body wiped the marks all out.
And there we were.
Better-h half suggested that one at our time
Of life ought to have more patience, and
gave it IS her opinion that We couldn't
swear the beadsteads together
Found We couldn't
Finally got 'em up-four Of 'em-and
commenced putting the cords on.
Cords broke, and we had to tie them to-
gether.
The knots wouldn't slip around the pegs,
and we couldn't draw the rope tight.
More remarks from the children's mother
on the subject Of profanity.
Didn't pay any attention to her, and thus
succeeded in getting through with the job.
Then went down and :. harnessed" the
stove.
The legs oil fell out when we tried to lift
it on the zinc, but got it into position at last.
Two lengths and one elbow Of the pipe
Finally found the elbow in the bureau
drawer. and the two lengths rolled up in
the psrlor carpet.
Got . Ratchet and stick Of wood and
commenced pounding the pipe together.
Knocked chunk out of one Of our
knuckles, and got the elbow ON wrong end
up.
Had to take it all apart and change it.
Commenced pounding again, but couldn't
make it jibe.
Pounded more.
The more We pounded, tho more it
wouldn't fit, and thoughtwe'd give it up.
Expressed our opinion in relation to stove
pipes ia general and this one in particular,
and made some illusions to the original in
veEtor Of this kind Of furniture.
Went to the corner grocery and got "zwei
lager" felt refreshed, and resumed the
attack on the pipe.
Found out that what allied US before was
that we hadn't pounded it enough.
Remedied the defect, and the job was
done. Stove smoked beautifully.
Got wife to tie rags around three Of our
fingers and one thumb, and thought we'd sit
down and have q smoke.
Found meerschaum after . while, and
discovered amber uth-piece broken.
Got the tobacco can, but on ascertaining
that the salt cellar had been emptied into
it, made up our mind that we wouldn't
smoke.
We concluded we'd better 60 to bed, and
started to pick our way through the mass of
things piled up and scattered about
Stumbled over the long rockers of chair
and barked one shin. Returned no answer
to m interrogatory as to why we "didn't
break our neck" repeated "Now lay
me-" and turned in.
Having . strong constitution. which en-
ables W. to bear good deal of sleep, and
always paying strict attention to our sleep
ing, dida't know anything till morning.
Went down stairs and found wife getting
breakfast, with tears in her eyes.
Told US she "was deceived in the house, Z
If she'd s.known what it was, she would
never have moved into it," and that she'd
never be able to "settle D" in it
This settled as, and declining to partakc
Of the frugal morning meal which had been
provided-we remembered the supper-we
took our departure, promising to call in the
early part Of the ensuing week, when things
had been .sput to rights"
And we mean to 60.
......"Ah, Pat, Pat!" said school
tress to thick headed urchin, into whose
muddy brain she was attempting to beat the
alphabet, :" I'm afraid you will never learn
anything Now what's that letter, eh -
n - y -. o. 49,