Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1866-04-06


How romantic young people are when
they court. Til girls get married, all they
think necessary to happiness are moonlight
evenings few hollyhoeks, and red brick
bird cage, surrounded By honeysuckles and
grapevines.
THE most difficult operations in the prac-
tice of surgery IS said to be taking the jaw
out of a woman. The fellow who said that
must be an old bachelor, of the large blue
sort.
AYoUNG lady rebuked by her mother for
kissing her lover, justified the act by quot
ing the passage Whatevor We would that
men should do unto you, do ye even so to
them.
A smart clap who has studied conside1a-
bly,, says he is satisfied that the reason why
girls are in the habit of pouting out their
lips Is because they are always wiling that
theirs should meet yours half way.
A York county, Pa, Democratic sheet
suppressing Rebel papers, and intimates that
President johnson must put stop to such
proceedings,
GIVE man brains and riches, and he is
king; give man brains without riches
and he is slave; give man riches without
brains, and he Is monkey
AN Irishman vas about to marty a South
ern girl for her property. WIN you take
this woman for your welded wife p said
the minister. Yes, your reverence. and
the nagers, too.
TBERE are eight requisites to success in
lawsuit good cause, good judge, good
counsel, a good attorney, coed witnesses, a
good jury, good purse. and last, though not
least. good luck.
4 Southern paper thinks that some
thing is on foot 10 South Carolina. She
herself is on foot She used to ride the
high horse, but can't now
MAMMA, said lad of six, IF man
is Mister, is W. man a Mistery - We
rather guess she is, sonny,
Mas. PARTlNGDoN declares that the only
way traveller can avoid being killed by
railroad collisions, nov adays is to take the
other train.
If you have gone halt crazy at not hav-
ing won your sweetheart as a wife, remem-
Der you might have gone the other half if
You had succeeded.
A PERSON being asked why he gave his
daughter in marriage to a man with whom
he was at enmity, answered, II did it out of
pure revenge
A LOCOMOTIVE on a Western railroad has
been adorned with the title j still i've.
That is more than many Of she passengers
can say at the end Of theirjourFiy.
Why is Enatiimony like a besaeaed city,
Because those who are in want to get out
and those who are ont want TO gel IN.
A CHApLIN ola State prison was asked
by a pious friend how the rarishioneEs
were, "All under convictions. was the re-
ply.
A DANDY lately appeared in Iowa with
legs so attenuated that the authorities had
him arres ted because be had no visible
means of support.
LORD Chesterfield once remarked that
even Adam, the first man, knew the value of
poIteness, allowed Eve to have the first
bite at the apple.
ARTEMUs WARD says that q Son Of fTemp
erance he believes in temperance hotels
though as a general thing they sell poorer
tliauors than the other sort.
THosE who are incapable Of shining but
by dress. would do well to CONSIDER that
! tie contrast between them and their clothes
/ hwns ont much to their disadvantage
--------aa
KISSING never goes out of fashion, but
still is rather dangerous to kiss one neigh
4 I'--s e, r,,ay, r. che IilaS III