Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1866-01-19
MIR. Nasty DREAMS A DREAM.
WAsHINGToN, December 10, 1853.

Last mite, / was the victim Of another
dream. Eff / don't quit this explorin the
realms of the fucher in my sleep, 4 shall be-
come second Saint John, EFF so, make
no doubt my revelations viii be NV remark
able startlin character
Methswt the Ablishnists had asserted the
power we diskiTered they possest, after the
late elecshuns, and had gone the whole fgger
They had forced the South into the humi-
liashen Nv alowin niggers to testify, and in
the Northern States had given em the cleo
tive franchise Uv course, the edecated AID
refined democracy wood never consent to be
carried up to the polls alongside Nv a Niger
Nv course no Democratic offis-seeker wood
humiliate himself treatin niger afere a
chestnut beein article Nv faith with us
never to drink with a niger onless he pays
for it,
Therefore, bein helpless, and resolvin
never to submit, the heft NV the Democracy
determined to emigrate in a body to some
land where the Anglo Sackson Good roo, -
where there was no mixture of the disgustin
African Mexico wuz the country chosen, and
methawt the entire party, in one solid column
marched there Our departure was a ova-
ton. The people on our route wuZ all dreS-
sed In white ez token Nv Joy, and from
every house hung banners with inscriptions
onto EN-, sich ez:
Now is our hen roests safel
Canada on its way to Mexico i''
Poor Mexico-We beWail thy fate
Our march resembled very much that NV
the children of Israel. Our nozes wuz the
pillars Nv fire by mite, and our breath the
piller NV smoke by day.
On our arrival to Mexico, the natives of
that country, struck probably with awe at
the majestic and famin expression NV our
countenances, hastily gathered up their linen
and silver spoons, and hosses, aud sich, and
retreated to the mountains. Itwuz komp-
liment to us that them ez hadn't ennything
remained
Finally we reached plain where we, the
modern children oy Isrel, decided to rename
and Nv coarse, the fust thing to do wuz to
form government.
Methawt Fernandy Wood, NV New York,
wuz chosen viva Voce, ez President, and he
slept forerd to hev the oath administered to
him, wich wuz be Gun by the Oldest Justis
Nv the Peece Nv the late stait Nv Moo Gersey
which hez committed sooicide Here new
trouble ensood-there wuzn't bible to be
found In the whole encampment The diff
Guilty wuz got over by New York Alder
man yellin OUT Never mind the oath
what's the yoose Nv any oath he takes2" So
he wuz declared President so
President Wood then proceeded toorgan-
ize. He requested sich ez he'd commissions
in the army NV the yoonited states to step
forerd three PAGES. Gems. Mickielan, Buel,
Fitsjohn Porter 4 Slocum slept forerd, and
with EN- some 1000, a part Nv whom he'd
held quartermaster commissions and whose
accounts
''Just afore the battle, mother
Didn't balance, but Wich allez did jist af-
ter and others who he'd ben dismist for be
In the rear, when their sooperiors desired to
see EN- in the front, and who consekently
considered it d-d Ablishin war, wich they
didn't approve NV no how.
Then hevin ascertained the material for
oficerin his army he axed all them who he'd
bin in the service ex rrivates to step forerd.
10000 obeyed and the President asked the
fust one where he enlisted, who answered as
follows: E
sat Moo York, April IL, 1864, bounty
81, 900; and at Philadelphia, April Ia, 1854
bounty, 500; and at Pittsburgh, April l6,
1864, bounty, $500; and at Cincernati, AID.
ril 19, 1864, bounty $400, and at"
Enough said Fernandy, aud glancin
down the line, and seein all the faces were
no more Nv EN- any questions.
Remarkin that it wuZ well enough to es-
tabfish church he desirnd all who were
ministers Nv the Gospel to step forerd. 2I
slept out and desired to explain. They could
not say they were just now in full connex-
ion with any church. They he'd bin, but
their unconstitooshnel Ablishn Synods and
conferences he'd accoosed em nv irregulari-
ties in hoss tradin, and various other irTegu-
larities, and suspended EN-, and sileneed EN-
and sich, becoz they were Democrats, but
The President shrugged his sholders and
asked all who Good read to step out About
onehaf answered, and then he requested
sich NV this number ez Good be prevailed
upon to accept small Office and who bleeved
themselves fit, to step out agin, and to my
unutterable horror and CONSERVATION, every
one but five, stepped out ez brisk ez so many
bees Immelitly there wuz a uproar' Them
ez coodert read swore vociferously that there
wuz nothiug fair about that arrangement.
They never knowd that man wuz obliged
to be able to read to hold Office in the Demo-
cratic party, and they'd never stand that,
and they all stepped out
The next step wuz to. divide them up in
to employments. The President requested
them ez preferred to foller mekanikle en-
ployments to step out. Sum thirty advan-
ced. Them ez preferred farmin About
fifty slept out Them ez expected to run
small groceries.
There Wuz a sound like the rush NV many
waters. Ninety-eight per cent NV all-cep-
tin the officers and preachers rs-sprung to
the front but when they saw their strength.
their faces turned white. 'sGood Lord, =
whispered they we can't make Twin out
Nv the remainln two per cent, and the Off
GERS and preache. 81
The mass then demanded division NV
the property, that all might start alike, but
takin inventory, it wuz found not worth
while to bother about division.
They then commenced murmur in, and
sed one to another, sOh, for the flesh pots
nv the Egypt we left II Good at hum,
live off my Ablishin nabers. There wuz
rich men in our ward, but ez we he'd the ma
jority, they paid taxes, wich tre spent' Alb
lishnists is pizen, but it's well hevenough,
Nv EN- to taxi and ez wun man, they resol-
we'd TO return, and the confusion that result
ted from the brakinup awnke me.
There is onquestionably moral ia the
vision Ez often ez hev syed for perpetuel
Democratic majorities, hev sumtimes,
when our party wuz successful, and bid fair
to be so permantly, wondered what we would
90 with the Treasury eff we didn't lose the
Offices occasionally, SO ez to hey the other
party nurse it into pickin condition for us.
/ don't think shood ike to hive In a un-
animous Dimocratic community
PETROLEUM ". NAsBY,
Lait Paster nv the Church NV the Moo
Dispensashun.