American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1866-08-01
WIT AND WISDOM.

ai.-7A round man may sometimes be cor
nered .ia ss s5r h -f sa t.rI sa
IA Cabinet motto-the more haste
the lest Speed. .sFeH sa
An object of "interest. "A girl
whose interest is three thousand year.
If a man cheats thee once, shame
on him il he cheats thee twice, shame
on thee.
One who is half man, half dog, will
bow to the rich man, AMI bow WOW to the
poor.
Prentice asked, Why don't the plan
cts cut off the comets tail when it pass.
es them They all have axes
II man is "steeped in poverty"
won't it take all the strength out of him?
-Smith.-Brown's regular wag,
isn't he ? He's fond of cracking his
jokes. Robison.-Ycs, he cracks his,
jokes that's the reason they're so bad.
"A newspaper recently contained the
following, in its notices to correspondents.
"Truth is crowded out of our columns
this week" "tH
-"Shall | cut this loin of mutton sad
dlewise ?" said gentleman. "No," said
one of his guests, "cut it bridlewise, for
then | may chance to get bit in my
mouth"
Booth, the tragedian, had his nose
broken some years since. A lady once
said to him, 81 like your acting, but l
cannot get over your nose "No wonder"
said he, "the bridge is gone."o H,.t
"A great poet says that "the noun
tains stand fixedp We know, however,
that it is no uncommon thing for them
to ''slope."
Snooks says the pre.tiest sewing
machine he ever saw was, about sevenA
teen years old, with short sleeves. low
dress, and gaiter boots on.
The latest remedy for badness is to
use brandy externally until the hair
grows, and take it internally to clench
the roots. rt, NOT, '--.
ed --HPOmpcy," said good natured gen.
tleman to his colored man, 81 did not
know until to-day you had been whipped
last week" Didn you,, massa 2" re-
piled Pompey, II knowed it at de time.'
-"I never shot bird in my life" said
a friend to an Irishman, who replied, II
never shot anythipg in the shape of a
bird, but squirrel, which killed with
a stone, when it fell into the river and
was drowned. 'li" 7a't s'Hl 'Aa 's
-"You have lost your babe, hear,
said ono gentleman to another "Yes
poor little thing ! il was only FIVE months
ole. We did all we could for it. We
had four doctors, put mustard plasters all
over it, blistered its head and feet, gave
it nine calomel powders, leached its tenn
pies, had il bled, and gave it all kinds oi
medicine, and yet, after weeks illness,
it died" ."nana. ~ h.aais ' ei'
Amy one would suppose that the
employment of sewing was the most
peaceful and quiet occupation in the
world, and yet it is absolutely horrifying
to hear ladies talk about stillettoes bod
kins! gatheringsi hemmingsl gorings
cuttings whippingsl lacingsl cuttings
and hastings What list of abomina-
bles !
A preacher of the brawling descrip-
ton was enlarging upon the beauties of
an unsullied conscious and pure heart
before congregation of whom some were
Irishmen. ''Let your actions bc so pure y
said he, "your conscience SO clean, that
if you had a window in your bosom
your ncighbors could see not an impure
act or even thought within your breasts
my hearers. Think, O my hearers, Zee
as though there were window in YOU
bosoms-a window in your very bosoms'
-"Misther Guiness," asked one of th,
congregation, half rising from his seat
"Misther Guinness, wouldn't a pane i,
the belly answer the same purpose ?"