The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-03-09


Reader, don't you know some of the family ?"
i
LECTURE ON THE FEEJEEs.-The first lee
ture of this course proving so great success,
n pecuniary point of view, the second leo
turer felt greatly encouraged. and made care
full preparations for thoughtful analysis of
his subject, which by diligent study and close
investigation he had perfectly mastered.
Being introduced to the audience, he APP
preached the stand with all the assurance of
one with well-learned tack. When, upon
examination, he found his notes upon Miss
Dickinson had, by mistake. been left at home,
and those upon another subject brought in
their place.
The announcement of this fact caused
great excitement among the members of the
society, the president of which then announc-
ed that the subject upon which the society
would be entertained was 1.-THE feasibility of
promoting the study of lchthyology among
the Hottentots."
This announcement greatly increased the
excitement. Some Kissed, others left the
hall. Loud cries were heard for "Hotten-
tots" and prolonged Kissing declared the
subject to be too hot.
But these noises Immediately subsidized mp
on the president saying that the word Fee
jees" would be substituted for that of Hot.
tents"
The lecturer then assumed dignifed att.
tude and proceeded in the following ELOQUENT
but sensible language:
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN AND MrMurps or -,,u
HETEROGENEOUS IprosYNcRArIc SOCIETY While
travelling through foreign lands, philanthropy has
always been the spirit directing my observations
and researches. (Applause.) For the purpose of
benehtlng my fellow man, have endured the Bit
ter cold OF the ice bound north swetered under
the scorching heat of tropica! sun and breath
ed the mIasmatic air OF the southern jungles-I
(Great applause.)
After all these suferngs and prvations, 1 deem
1t but just that | should give to the world the
fruits of my Investigations. This, / think, can
best be done by recalling some of the scenes and
adventures which interested while travelling
through the delightful abode Of the heroic Fee.
ice.
1t was upon warm bot pleasant morning in
the month of July, that my companion and my
self, attended by faithful Feelee guide sailed
forth TO witness the cariosties OF tropcaI ya5ets
ton, and enjoy the freshness of the southern air
rendered more inYgoratIng by the action of a sum
mer upon slumbering quagmires As we
passed on, now over fields of veivety verdura nm
on which the morning dew sparkled like count
less diamonds upon the swarthy neck of some
6nnea bride, again through the dense shade
caused by the monHrChs of the impenetrahIe far
est, whose leaves hung motonless in the peaceful
arr, all nature seemed wrapped IN profound a.
lence, inviting us to thought and meditation. nm
I'll at last the sun had gained meridian height
the dew had sped IN misty vapors Ia its clouSv
home, leaving the grass parched and brittle |
That, as we passed on, IT gave forth strange rus
ff',-7u rustic which seemed a voice from
the souls OF the departed croCodies whose bones
~ rod md
speaker was evidently trying to give some of tho
Miss Dick enson touches TO his eloquence1 Thus
wandering on, regardless OF our safety we finally |
lost our our reckoning, when upon turning a point
OF projecting rocks low laundering prowI warned !
US OF approaching danger The next instant hinge /
African hon sprang before us threatening us with
immediate death. But guide ('El.oI the naor |
FeeJee ~ could not stand by and see the danger
with which we were threatened without irving TO |
avert 1t. The thought and action were simuIta-
neoHs- Instantly hts mantle coveted his Ieft arm
his right hand casped with iron grasp the handle
OF his trusty jack knife; and the lion and man
were sworn foes. roar and 4 bound. and the
LETT arm of our guide grasped by the furious
Jaws ofthe hungry lion. Hard and rapid were the
blows from the now bloody knife. Louder and
more furious grew the growIs and rears fTcm the
naddened beast, from whose wounds the blood I
ran IN crimson rivers. (Here some one was Quiet
ly leaving the hail, when the speaker remarked
that that person is evidently not of sanguinary
nature.'J The hons strength ebbing fast.
u.
him as with the strength OF a Samson For one
bret moment the hon raised aloft, then lash
ed TO the ground, where he lay mass of CULVER
ing pulp.
At this critical momen, my companion and nv
sell rushed in to the assistance of courageous
guide (Ioad applause) whose bravery was now
proven beyond doubt and whose patriotism was
beyond praise.
Twas then, and not until then, that reasoned
thus: How superior in bravery: how much more
exalted IN patriotism are the good Fee
ices than the white folks. Their skill IN
ha ndling the boomerang and war-club sur
pa and turns to rdicule the attempts of their
European visitors. They tattoo and adorn their
bodies with unequaled skill and primitive taste
Tor some miIsslonary,-someR Rock Islander well
skilled IN the pscatOrlal art who, bv instructnr
them in the study of lchthyology could make
them perfect beings.
But to resume our narrative Fatigued by cur
journey and adventure, we reclrned upon the
grassy slope bordering a gently flowing stream
whose waters gave evidence of cont timing GELS
and toads IN countless numbers Wearied, sun .
burnt, dlzzled by oppressive heat, hungry without
the means OF appeasing natures call for food
willingly would we have eaten dinner Of roast
beef, veal pie, rather than have starved To
death! there the ladies' began to shed sympathetic
Tears ton the suferers.) Willingly would we have
drank OF Phil HENS "Amasley Gooseiv,, but
none was to be had (Audence much affected \
Dur poor Feeiee guide, retaining more heat than |
belonged to his peculiar complexion Law painting
upon the parched earth cloud sobsl that arm /
when hao so often hurled the boomerang, now
was unable to catch an eel or spear pollywoRg
Violent sobb'ng in all parts the hall.) ,
AT this point, just as the speaker was t
about to give another striking example of Fee
GO valor and patriotism the members
If the society became so much affec-
led by the story that they were obliged to
cave the hall in tears.
N. 3. We are requested to saw that at
he last meeting Of the society. Zeis 1.-THE
'anker) was unanimously elected treasurer I
md oil those having claims against the soc;.