The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1866-03-20

SrooNs.-There Is no species of property that
can at all be compared with spoons for their
irrepresSihlc tell tale habits against every one
who takes undue liberties with them. Muir
der itself blah. not more certainly and per
sistently. They cannot with impunity be
transferred from their lawf9l owners to the
possession OF others having no right to them
They are sure 10 tell--and they never stop tell
ing about IL So that Il man who may unSus-
pectingly and innocently deposit in his bosom
even a little teaspoon that belongs to some one
else Will find that he had better have warmed
n frozen adder there for it viii sting him,
not once As the adder would, lwhose poison he
could neutralZe with bare pint Of WhSky,l
hut it will continue TO sting him, and no drug,
not even hellebore, can soOthe or erase its
pangs 1t is dangerous to have anything TO do
with them The golden spoons " of the
White House defeated VAN buren, for the Pre-
sidency. They Numbered upon every plain,
along every valley, and from every hill
of the Union, And when beaten in
the race, and falling, ftnt, and exhausted,
VAN might have sighed out, " Oh, spoons,
YOU We been the death of me" Those White
House spoons are especially prone TO talking.
Some of them We're of late said TO have been
missing. and Il fuss was immediately the con
sequence Like the .upbraidngs of RICHARD
of The tell tale women of the Court, they
were for a time silenced by " drums and
acknowledgements babe them be still but,
like the women aforesaid, they came in ghostly
visits to repeat their story. Even STEVENS,
tTHApD in supporting II bill in Congress 10
supply the places of the absent spoons was
almost BETRAYED into blabbing of the lost ones
&c sneak OF SPOONS.
But he cut himself short by biting his tongue
81 have heard" said he, and pausing, con-
tinued "But it does not matter what
heard - The spoons spoke there with most
miraculous organ. The inference was pos
sibly a world bigger than the announce
ment he was about to make. One Mr.. STACK
POLE, who was steward at the Presidential
mansion, attempts, by q card 10 the public, to
insulate himself and ward Off the lightning
evolved by the agitation of the spoons. Those
White. House spoons will not rest; every now
and then their silyery voice is heard stealing
over the land, uttering their irrepressible Mise
reye. The sable Southern minstrel long ago
knew that spoons were not to be lost, and
would be followed through the Universe. In
his account of q persistent hunt after one, he
says:
"Forty days an forty nights huntin for de butter
spoon:
Seed ole oman fly ober de moon, huntn' for de
butter-spoon.
The high nstable of public opinion appears
TO. travel with equal facility and endurance
the moment a search warrant for spoons is
put in his hands
Without spinning out this paragraph by
LAYING too many notorious personages spoon
fashion, what man, we may ask, has become
world renowned SO rapidly as Major General
BUTLER, merely because part of some move
ables that voluntarily got into his possession
is said to have consisted OF spoons
The undiscriminating spoons fasten reputa-
ton upon every man who does anything SAVIOR
ing of an Illicit transaction with them. We
suppose nobody can suspect General BUTLER
of misrepresentation. Yet, because these
spoons were understood 10 have thrust them
selves into pile of yaluables which fell TO his
lot the word "spool~ cannot be mentioned
without bringing before yonr eyes the Ill fated
millionaire General with his straight and his
crooked eye ARTEaus WARD, while lecturing
in New Orleans, innocently alluded TO the two
men on this continent most richly endowed
with plate-yiz: BRIGHAM YoUNG and BENJA-
MIS- L. BrrLER-when the people like TO have
kpscksd down the house with their applause
Ii was "spoons," nothing but spoons that
caused the scandal And considering that
every man IN New Orleans was minus spoon,
IL showed great want OF delicacy thus 10
wound the feelings Of q sensitive man like
6ensyl BuyLxS because Of their little losses