Daily union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1865-1866, 1866-08-10
AmiuH aud american,
SUI LOVENGOOD'S
BIG DINNER STORY.
Stirrin' Times, by Golly!"
For the Union and American. }


believe, that bald faced, check apron'd, cal
Ticker cip'd, ole she pot owe purgatif INT
ment. Misses JARROLD, on Willow Creek,
hain't sot In TO writin' about me, IN lvTNsZEs
noospaper. a-belitilin, an a-bemeanin me,
WIS nor If we're a suck aig dorg-yes WINS
nor If [ wer even a radical, an all for muffin.
Now. bv eollv. no body can't tramp on me,
wifout gittin thar foot bit. means 10 let
cat outen the bag, an If she quiles up her
snout about hit, II print the cat, all along
noospaper. Shell find hit heavier 10 bare,
than the tiltin' hoop disease, what she says
she has a ragin' 80 bad in her famerly, or
that cross she has to tote, weighin' ton, or
bof owe EN- together.
You know, GEORGE, that thar Is some
folks powerful feard owe low things, low
ways, an low pepil, an everlastinly a-tryin'
their durndest, 10 show that they amt low.
Always on a fiddil string strain, a-lookin' up
for a higher limb 10 roOst on, an wringin' IN
every chance, far or onfar, what Il hi owe
teller. thar ganmameY was never seed
a louse-smelt a bed bug, or hearn tell owe
the catch, in thar lives, mo, sir, never. They
giuerily has a pedigree wifi one aind tied 70
thar sturn, an tOther one a-sOakin' in NoAH's
food, an they'll trace hit back for you, round
the jails, onder the galluses, apast the soap
works. an over the Kitchens owe tour thou
sin wears, an If you'll notice clOst, hit makes
some owe the shortest kind owe lodges, to
miss 'em all, but by golly, hit does miss 'em,
an hits every durnd castil, an throne, on
the whole road.
likes that pattern owe pepil most won
derfully does, an think, GEORGE, if ever
could jist git TO sleep wifi one night or
so-a he one limeans,durn you, what are you
GRIMM At, ! sees muffin TO lah at myself
- 4 -, - oaaaN
roostin high-eatin peas wifi fork, an play
HI VIII nv insex forevermore; but durn
EN- 1 never hev yet got nigh enuf TO one,
even to larn his smell ,-thars a gulf atwixt
them an me, an ! speck hits well for me
that thar is. Well ! old Misses JARRoLD is
one owe that brand owe cattil, her big pints
owe gentility is kiverin the looking glass wifi
bobinett, quilin up her snout at Glow trash /"
scourin the door sill, havin red cushion
stuffed VIII hen feathers on her banch at
church, maxim old JARRoLD tote hot rock
arter her when she goes thar. Scoldin
neighbor wimmen for sucklin thar brats afore
folks, hangin paper nets up tc the cielin 10
ketch flies, larnin her gals TO play the "FlOW-
ers Of Edinburgh" on an ACCORDION with the
rattles, GROWN a row Of hollyhawks from
the door TO the gate, an back agin, mar
ryin her gals 10 a pedigree, whitewash
in the-springhouse, keepin the Pill
grim's Progress on the candle-stand,
an par owe plarster owe paris pigeons on
the mantle-shelf-an' thinks calm dung
dung, bad grammer. Her granmamy wer a
HI owe a Teller. / reckon Now, a hongry
lookin' young lawyer, wifi black frecSils an
mink eyes, one owe the kind owe yarmints
that wud hide 0nder bed 10 listen-peep
through the key-hole owe gals bedroom,
or break open other folks letters, had settled
on the crick, oferin' to practice Law, an
while he wer breedin' few suits amung the
old neighbors, Misses JARROLD was a breed
in a weddin' atWix him and her darter ST.
sAEAH JANE, cher bud owe promice," as
she calls herr Very well her fust move
wer 10 make a big dinner, an invite all the
ugliest gals round thar what cum up 10 her
idears owe decent standin', 20 as to set off
the :" bud owe promice in the eyes owe this
legal hcSshun, named GRPEs. Amung
them was VIOLET WATSON, not purity gal
l know, but smart, neat an as full owe mis-
chief rs a turtil is owe aigs in May She
had no sort owe fancy for Misses JARRoLD's
fool ways, an valued Mister GRIPEs about
a. she would any other peckerwood or pole
cat; so you see she wouldent stand back n
mint 20 devil 'em any time l warn't in
vited, in course / warn't; Misses JARRoLD
would as soon tho't owe inYitin' old BARK
LEY's big bull.
The AFTERNOON afore the big GRIPEs din
ner, VIOLET WATSON, an me hilt a conven-
ton, sorter BARN on the subec. / wer to
follow her 10 JARRoLD's. an then she wer TO
tell the old quilt that l had toted her across
the crick dry-shod, an for her 10 please let
me slunge round the kitchin, an give me
som dinner in n tin pan, or skillet, provided
/ KEEP outen sight ov her cumpany, an be-
haved myself | KEEP my contrack / never
behaved myself better in my life, an VIOLET
WATSON will say 20, any day. As soon as
she got fairly in the house, she pinned up
her frock, an tucked up her sleeves, an sot
in 10 helpin the old jade get dinner ready
What wifi her neat ankils plump, white
arms, an the comeing mischiefa sparlJlin in
her brown eyes, she looked rale holsum-
sorter eatable like, / swar she did. Hit
warnt long alore she coaxed old climb-a-pole
outen the kitchen, an got her 20 go to the
big room whar the cumpany was, when she
imejuntly sot in 10 lecterin on pedigrees, an
spreadin herself generally. Now this give
VIOLET full swing in the kitchen, an me
helpin in my rough, fool way, we sorter did
fix things. II anybody had been a noticin
right clos; thai mornin, they mout a seed me
hidin three or four little pokes' full ov
somtin, in the jimson weeds Anime the
smoke'ous-them ar pokes GEORGE, con-
tanned venemOus reptiles, too nnmerus an
horrid 10 menshun. Well VIOLET, she cut
two holes in sheet, socked my arms through
them, pinned hit clost roun' my naiS, tucked
hit in an pinned hit roun' my wais, and hit
reached 20 my heels-the all-firedest, long,
graveyard lookin apron you ever seed. l tell
you hoss, i looked like the ghost ov a dead
rope-walk. / were bof sickly, an skeery to
look at, / swar | wer. Then she sot me 10
totem in the kivered dishes oy vittils an
things an a settin EN- on the table in the
dinin room. l had filled same oT them for
her, she bein feared 10 handle the vittils, If
hit could be called vittils at all, what wer
IN en-.
Ole Misses JARRoLD had gin up the din
ner bisness 70 VIOLET, out an out. She
know'd she couldent be heather mind was
easy, an so she jist numbered on the need
sesity owe pedigrees 20 her company, 70 her
hearts content. Oh geminey what mis-
placed confidence that wer. l tell you, hoss,
l wouldent trus' myself outer my own sight
a mint 20 save my life. Well wEiie / wer
a totin in the last dish, NIoLEr sent word
20 Misses JARRoLD that dinner wer ready,
tuck her bonnet, slipped out the back way,
an cut for home, by-golly-onbenowenst to
me OF any body, leaven me thar among inc
mys shroudeG up in a burned old sheet on
able 20 make the first bulge towards a run,
an h-ll owe big storm about 10 bust.
But thinkin had good backin in the kitch-
en-, / wer carlm enuti 20 watch things as they
happened, plum through the whole rumpus.
Down they all sot Misses JARRoLD at the
head, an her ole cOrn-stalk owe a man at the
foot owe the table, GRIPEs on her right the
"bud owe promice" on her left, an the ugli-
est, cross-grained gall in the house next 70
the bud" Passun BUssUM sed grace: sed
make us thankful for what we are about to
resolve" an so forth, an 50 on, an so along.
Thinks I, old hoss, ii these folks am thank
fnl you may consider yourself ,rhalo. She
had her boys an gals, an five or six young
free niggers standiR in rows behind the
chairs, drilfd, and waitin for the word 10
liz the kivers. That Wer another climb
apole idea she'd picked up some whar She
'spected hit 10 hev perioun' efiect--an Pm
dam IL it dident. She looked as solemn as
a Tuesday night arter funeral, or a snow
storm, an ses she, tappin the table wifi her
finger, ''one-two-three, oBkjUcr." All az
onst they did hit, and all at onst an durnd |
quick, TOO, they drapt the 6vers smashin
onto the floor, an jist went slincein out owe
the doors, a climbin one another an a
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