The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1866-08-21
Advertising for a Wife.
The Special Mail Agents Story.

IL 40 hOW pOAAO tnO VI t1ICG WGGkS oIuCO
a young gentleman entered the Office of a
special agent Of the Post Office Depart
ment in one of our large cities, and an
nounced that he had serious case of
mail depreciation to report, which he
would like to have Investigated immedi-
ately. Being requested to give the par
ticulars of the matter, he produced from
his pocket letter addressed to himself,
and post-marked with the name of a small
town in the State of Pennsylvania. The
envelope bore unmistakable evidence of
having been opened and resealed, and the
address was in lady's handwriting.
"There, sir" said he, carefully remov-
ing, the letter, and handing the envelope
to the agent for inspection, "that ere let
ter's been robbed by some post-ofice
thief of twenty-six dollars. Now want
you to catch him and put the screws to
him-giye him ten years at least. dom
care for the loss of the money" Git is
singular, by-the-way, how sublimely in.
different to pecuniary considerations most
people are who prefer these complaints J
"but I'd like to see the rascal caught"
Now the agent having had considera-
bic previous experience in the investiga-
ton of cases of "rifing" was quite SEN
sible that very necessary preliminary to
such Investigations wasa thorough knowl-
edge of all the circumstances connected
with the affair, and after attentively ex-
amining the envelope, which was liberal
ly bedaubed with mucilage, he observed:
"Well. sir, I will take memorandum
of your statement, and if it prove to be
'post-ofice thief, as you say
''If it does, sirl Why, who else can it
be? Isn't the envelop to speak for itself
hasn't it evidently been torn open and
gummed up again? Of course it is a
post Office shief-any one can see that"
aProbably, sir, but l don't see it just
yet. Be good enough to let me know
the name Of the writer of this letter. /"
The young man hesitated, and at once
his manner became confused and nervous.
"I'd rather not, if it S all the same, ,.slr;
it's a young lady, and there are peculiar
circumstances about the case-and-in
short, Idon't want her name mixed up
with it.
"But il will be necessary, in order to
make a proper investigation, that sho'd
know her name. Without it, I cannot
undertake to do anything in the matter.
The gentlemen still sought for some
time to avoid giving the name of his fair
FRIEND. but at last announced it as Miss
Emily Melville. Other questions fol
lowed, as to the circumstances which led
to the enclosure of the money, etc., to
which the complainant answered in an
eyasive, shufiing way-eyidently trying
to conceal something of which be was
secretly ashamed. Perceiying that the
investigation vas likely to make but slow
progress while conducted in this fashion
the agent observed.
"My friend, my time is too precious tc
waste in drawing information from you
with cork-screw, and you may as wei
make up your mind either to give me {
clear and unreserved account of this trans
action or to go elsewhere with your griev
anee. Now, please tell me why Miss Mel
vile sent you Cor tried to send you) this
money!"
@To pay for some broadcloth for ;
cloak
(which you were to purchase for her?
"Yes-that is, which | had purchased
for her.
"Oh, I see-the young lady was proba
bly, here visiting, and being temporarily
out of funds, your galiantry forced hei
to accept loan-eh?"
aWell, no, not exactly. The fact is,
sent the goods to her by express, at he
own request"
ssAnd, of course, being an old friend
"Nc, not an old friend, precisely. ".is
/ "a relative, then?"
i "No.n
aAh, see, something nearer and dear
er?"
"Well, yes" said the youth, with
simper, and nervously swinging his ha
by the rim as he gazed modestly on tn
! floor, "we're lov-engagei, l mean
/ tPerhaps she has forgot to enclose th
/ money!
{, "No, sir--I've had a letter from he
!, since and she swears-l mean she's cer
! tain-she put the money in"
!, "Perhaps, then,'' said the agent, striv
ing to express his suggestion in the leas
offensive way, ''perhaps she omitted t
enclose it.
"Sir," exclaimed the fond lover, rouse
by this insinuation, "what do you near
/ There is no doubt whatever, sir, that sh
sent the money. would stake nay lif
, on her honor
}, "Oh, very well, sir, excuse memo o.
fence intended, I'm sure. But, 20
, know, / have not the pleasure of the Ii
{ dy's acquaintance. By-the-way, how Ion
: have you known her--a long time, pr,
5 sume?' s. @ ~
The young gentleman's embarrassmel
d was visibly increased as he replied,
n "About six months"
$ "Met her in Pennsylvania, 1 supposed
: eyes, that is, no-I can't say | did,
: "Where did you meet her?"
r "Why, I can't say, exactly-dor
know as I've met her at all, to tell Il
truth. y ~
sTelling the truth seems to bea wol
J of time with you," remarked the age
! dryly. Snow, if you will be good enoue
. to give me light about what you know
/ this young lady whom you propo