Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1866-01-23
Hit and -Hasa1aOr.

To rob man Of his money, is to wound him
in the chest.
Why is rheumatism like glutton? Because it
attacks the joints.
May not the bird who sleeps upon the wing be
said to sleep upon feather bed?
There is nod of authority, but a sleepy mans
nod is law to none but himself.
The ashes of smoked cigar are little thought
of-those Of man scarcely more
With and women, as with peas, early ri
sing is generally a matter of forcing.
He who takes an eel by the tail or a woman by
the tongue will come Off empty handed.
When Adam got tired naming his descendants,
be sald 'let all the rest be called Smith"
Hot fiery fellows are the soldiers-peppered
while in the service and then mustered out of it.
Don't be cross because you are turning gray
If you are grizzly, you needn't be grizzly bear.
A farmers family and friends are shocked by
bis laziness; his wheat and barley by his indus
try.
A contemporary says the article which produ-
ces SO many deaths from unknown causes; is
cold in every town and village in the country.
aAw how duth you like my mustathe, NTH
Laura? lispeU dandy, to merry girl, 20, very
much. 1t looks like the fuzz on the back Of
caterpillar!''
1t is said there mosquitoes in the oil re-
gions. That is probably owing to every one be-
ing so well creased that the mosquitoes could not
get q foothold.
Different beings are differently affected by the
presence OF superior. In the presence of man
frogs cease their croaking, but monkeys increase
their chattering-
An Analysing dame reports that ''she heard of
but one old woman who kissed her COW but she
knows of many thousands of young ones who
have kissed great calves
Among the large families in Marlborough,
are the following names: Head, Foote, Hyde,
Horn, Sides Hough, Hart, Bowles, Haset. At
last Prussian came in, named Onbehind!
Wife, l don't see, for my part, how they send
letters on them ere wires without tearing them
all to pieces" LA, me, they don't send the pa
per; they just send the writing in fluid state"
When Rachael French tragedienne) saw her
stout sister Sarah dressed for the part Of shep-
look like a shepherdess who has just dined on her
flock"
Old Sourkraut heard of a married woman elo-
ping, became excited, and said: .Hmy wife runs
away NIT anoder mans wife ] will shake him out
of her preeches, if she pc mine own fadaIu q
Gottr'
If you would keep your children in health give
them plenty of fresh air. This is all we'll enough
but nowadays children put on SO many airs of
their own that it is almost impossible to give them
q fresh one every day.
A cook expected company and was at loss
how to entertain her friends. Her mistress said
Chloe, you must make an apology La!
rnissus how can make it, ] got no apples no
eggs, no butter, no muffin to make it wild
The following notice was found posted up, near
Hans Hickficker's barn. in Pennsylvani
'tLost-a red KAT He had a wife sphot on
of her hind legs. He was she KAT will give
thre dollars to everibudi wat brings hymn hum"
Says the lovely Julia to the bewitchng Fanny
-hWhy is new born baby like a cows tail?'
Give it up"
Because it was never seen before"
Fanny phainted.
MARY" said wise and witty old lady, the
other day to her granddaughter, what do you
call that ugly bunch that hangs down behind
your head p "Why, grandmother, everybody
knows it is waterfall u "a waterfall. indeedl'
replied the old lady, 1T looks for all the world
like land slide