Brownlow's Knoxville Whig, and rebel ventilator. [volume] (Knoxville, Tenn.) 1863-1866, 1866-01-10

Mr.. Nasby Undertakes a Sermon, bul
is INTERRUPTED.
CoNFEDRIT X RoADs, (whic
is in the Stait Nv Kentucky.)
December 9, 1865.


tent and here propose TO lay my old bones
when Death, who has mortgage onto all
NV us. see fit to 4close didn' t like to leave
Washington-I luv it for its memories
Here stands the Capitol where the President
makes his appintments-there is the Post
offs Department, where all the Postmasters
is appinted. Here it was Jaxon rooled |
he'd respex for Jaxon. can say luved
him, for he never yoosed me rite. He hated
the Wings ez bad ez we did, but after we
beat EN- and elevated him to the Presidency,
the stealings didn't come in ez fast ez we ex-
pected. Never will forgit the compliment
he paid me. Just after his election | pre-
senUed myself afore him with my papers, an
applicant for place. He read EN- and scan
ned me with critics eye.
Cant 700 make yoose NV SIGH man ez
me?" seq | inquirinly.
Certainly" SEE he Il kin and alluZ hev.
It's SIGH ez yeo use to beet the wings with,
and | am contiDyooally astOnished TO see
how much work | accomplish with SIGH dir
ty tools. Ny dear sir, sed he pintin to the
door. " when | realize how many SIGH cuss-
Is ez VOC there is, and how cheap they kin
be bought up, really tremble for the Re
public
! didn't get the Office ! wantid.
Yet ez much ez | love Washington | wuz
forced to leave it. l mite hev stayed there,
but the trooth is the planks Nv that city and
the pavements are harder and worse TO sleep
on than those NV any other city in the Uni
ted Stats. l hev lived two months by pass
in myself off ez Dimekratic Congressman,
but that Good only last a short time there
not bein many Nv that persuasion there to
personate. had gone the rounds Nv the
House ca often ez it was safe, and one mite
commenced on the SENT. Coin into VIII
lard / called for 90 Nv gin, which the
gcntemanly and urbane barkeeper sot atore
me. and | drank Put il down with the
rest Nv NINE" SEE l. with an impressive
wave Nv the hand.
Yoor name SEE he.
Assoomin intellectual look l retoTtcd
Do you know Charles Sumner?
Here | Overdid There vaultin ambition
o'erleaped herself He'd sed Salisbury
it mite have ansered, but to give Sumner
name for drink Nv gin, was 4 peece NV
lunacy for which / kant account. | wuz
ANONYMOUSLY kicked into the Street
Drinks obtained at the expense NV bein
kicked, is cheep, but don't want EN- on them
terms-my pride revolted, and so | emigra-
ted. The gentlemanly and urbanc conduc-
tors NV the Pennsylvania Central passed me
over their road. They did it with the as
sistance NV two gentIemanly and urbane
brakesmen, which dropped me tcnderly
across the track, out Nv the hind eend NV
the last car.
l found here 4 church buildin, NV which
the congregation had been mostly killed in
h1yll
myself as constooshnel preacher from Moo
Gersey, succeeded in drawing together a
highly respectable awjienco last Sunday.
Iakin for text the passage, the wages
NV sin is deth, opened out ez follows:
Wat is SIN? Sin, my beloved hearers, is
any devlashen from yer normal cOndishen.
YoOr beloved pastor heZ a stumick and a
head, which is in close sympathy with each
other, SO much so, indeed, that the principal
dizziness Of the head is to fill the stumlck, and
mighty close work its been for many years,
you bet. Let your devoted pastor drink OF
a mite quart or two more than his yoOsuaI
allowance, more than his stumick absoloote-
ly demands, and his head sweIls with indig-
nashen. The excess is sin, and the ache IL
the penalty.
The wagiS Nv sin is DEATH Punish
ment and sin IS ez unseperable eZ the Shad-
der Is from the man--one is ez shoOr to fol
Ter the other eZ the assessor is to KUN around |
-ez mite is to toller day. The Dimecratic /
party nv which l am 4 ornament hez expe-
rlenced the trooth Nv this text. When Doug
las switched off he sinned, and ez conse- !
kence Linkin was elected, and the sceptre /
departed from Israel. When -
At this pint in the discourse old man in |
the back part NV the house ariz and inter
rupted me. He sed he he'd a word to say
on that subieck which must be sed, and ef /
interrupted him till he got through ned |
punch nay he'd, whereupon ! let him 90 on
Trooly, says he the wages Of sin is
leth. | hev alluz bin Dimecrat The old |
democracy hez bin in the service nv sin for
thirty years, an the assOrtmint Nv deth it
hes received for wages is trooly surprizin
Never did party cOmmense better JaXon
yuz a hOnist man, who knew that righteosnis |
vuz the nashens best holt But he died. |
IN host ny tuppenny politicians with hiz
great name fur capital, jumped intu hiz old
clothes an undertook to run the party. Fl
hcDimOcracy Good hey cIectid honiSt man
very fourth or fifth term, they mite hey
ground along for 4 longer period, but allarsl |
'&Non WuZ the last Nv that style we he'd
IN so many dishonist Cusses wuz then in |
hcCapitOI that hiz ghost coodcnt watch the a
laIf w them.
The tust nstallmCnt NV dcth we received | a
yuz when Harrison beet us The old polly :
ishuns in our party dident mind it, for, SCI o
hey, The Treasury woodcnt hev bin with |
mulch tn us enneyhow after the suckin il
leZ experienced for II years-it needs / ycrs q
" rest We elected Poke and here il wuz c
hat Sin got cumplcte hold NV US. Anshent ,
'ompacts with the devil wus alluz ritten
Il biud. We made 4 contract with Cal
Ioonizm, an that wuz ritten in blud witch |
yUZ shed in MeXi6O. herc we sold our
elves out, boots an britches, to the cotton |
Dmocracy, and don't our history ever
ense prove the trooth Nv the text, The
wages NV sin IL deth.' q. my trends. in
vat hevy instruments an how regularly hez
hese wages bin pade us.
Our men NV characJur cOmmenst leavin d
l.. Snus Write kicked out an wood hey
zone over agin us, he'd be not fortunately
he'd too soon, an skores Nv others followed |
Don Things went on until Pecrse wuz
elected, The Devil (Which is kotton) whom
We Wuz servin brought Kansas into the J
ing an wat skatterin insood.
"Agln the men NV charactur got out. an
gradually but shoorly the work ny deth r
went on. Bookannon wuz elected, but wuz
~ no yoose to Us. After Pcerse he'd run
he masheen four years. wat WIZ there left: | q
kkO anS6rs ADutba, s;t+;, collo,oI M, / %