Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1866-09-01
SATURDAY MORNING, SEPTEMBER |, 1866.

| that you love me- You know my prospects
as well as L do, and that have hard strug.
gle before me, but with your encouragement
and love, think ! can come out of the con-
test with success. VIII you be my wife,
| Nellie 2" ftst -..| :
had sunk down on a rock, for coula
go no further. My limbs refused to sustain
me, and it seemed that my heart would
break. / covered my face with my hands,
and strove fiercely to control my emotions
All my love for Walter rushed upon me in
a strong and mighty torrent, which well
nigh swept away the barriers of my sinful
resolution. How grand and noble he look
ed as he laid his heart before me in all its
| simple truthfulness, and how false and foul
was, as shrank before his avowal, in my
| criminal weakness wish l had died
| then; it would have been better for me-, /
said nothing, for could not trust my voice,
and Walter spoke again.
! "1 want you to decide with view to
your own happiness. If you do not love
me enough to be my wife, you might learn
to do so. But if it will make you happier
to reject me, do not hesitate to do So"
Happier ~ asked bitterly. f... ....
He had been gazing out upon the sea, and
turned suddenly at the sound of my voice.
1t was so full of bitterness that it startled
even him.
"Are you sick, Nellie9" he asked anxious
"No" answered, with forced calmness,
I'''only cannot talk TO you about this now,
Walter. cannot now. At some Other
! time" ....t, y. ...-.. b. KY.
81 have been too hasty," he said tenderly.
Poor child, your grief has not grown calm
enough for you to think of anything but
| your mother. can watt Nellie. / could
wait o lifetime for you.",ar ...
A sharp pain shot through my heart, and
it was with difficulty that reprcssed sigh
of anguish. My heart was wrung with
terrible torture, and felt that could en-
dure Walters presence no longer. wanted
to be alone. asked him to go back by
himself and leave me, as l wanted to be
J alone. lie seemed surprised at first, but
when repeated my request, he turned to
go away lsprang up and caught his hand.
walter ~ .,. - '..-..- ...., .... .....r
"Nellie!" .- .
l. "If anything should happen to give you
cause to hate me, would you do so 2"
Hate you, Nellie l do not think could
hate you" r.-
mot even though should give you cause
to do So 2" | asked, scarcely knowing what
l sai6. ..... ,.,.
mot even then, Nellie. would, in such
a case, feel great sorrow, but no unklnGness.
But what makes you ask me 2" He looked
at me anxiousy as he spoke.
Nothing" replied. go, leave me now,
l am weak and nervous" .-
He turned off with a sigh, and as he went
he seemed to carry all the light of my exis-
tence with him. l sank down on the rock
and gave way to my feelings. l suffered in
| tensely, and my selfhatred became almost
} Il l,,N II
! resolution. That outburst enabled me to go
through the rest with more calmness. 1t
was dark when l went back home, and by
! that time had conquered my heart. ...
Among my friends was gentleman whom
l had known from my childhood. He was
J fifty, at least, and was just twenty-one.-
! l received visit from him few days after
my interview with Walter, and before he
left he made me an offer of his hand. He
told me he had loved me for long time,
but had feared to speak before, as he was
much older; that he feared 1 could not love
him; but now that was alone in the world,
he felt that he had right to tell Inc of his
! love.
These were almost the very words Walter
had spoken to me, and they fell with a cold
chill on my heart l asked him time to re
fleet on the offer he had made, and was given
as long period as desired. t I..
1t seemed to me that some hidden power
was holding out this offer TO me to tempt
me to my fate. Here was a man, of pure
and noble heart, who wished to make me
his wife. He was wealthy, and my position
would be even better than at present; but
! did not love him. Yet had resolved upon
a rich marriage, and 1 had no better pros
pect than this. Should accept him? Oh,
| the torture, the agony, of those thoughts
felt that knew what my course would
be. It would DE to deceive q true, good
man, who trusted me, and prove false to my
own heart. r -Fr r.t-.5.r -f.f
/ avoided Walter, but could not help sec
| ing him sometimes. He never said any ything
more with regard to the offer he had made
me, but perceived that he was anxiously
awaiting my answer. Little did he dream
how much suffering those interviews cost
( me. would have given my life to have
knelt at his feet and laid my heart bare be-
his own great heart aud save me from my
self; but could not-1 could not.
resolved to end this trial. 1 sent for
Mr.. Grey and gave him my answer to his
suit l promised to be his wife. When he
left me 1 tainted, and after that my heart
seemed frozen within me. Only once it
moved beyond my control. e..
One afternoon, about sunset, went out
alone 20 the rocks pear the sea shore, where
had been so often with Walter. sat for
a long time, looking out on the waves which
were overcast with dull, leaGen hue, and
listening to the moaning of the surf On the
beach. The sadness of the scene GAINED my
own tortured feelings and sat motionless,
with vague sense of relief from pain.-
How long sat thus / do not know. | was
aroused by an instructive knowledge that l
was not alone, ard looking up, Isaw Walter
standing by me. He was sadder than had
i ever seen him. He sat down by me. and We
! talked for long time. The moon was ri
sing, but it was soon obscured by dark
clouds Still we sat there wished to tell
4 him Of my engagement, but knew rot how
to do SO. thought it best that he should
learn it from me. AT last l neryed myself
for the fearful effort. IS d9Hs rgtslisrfi,r
d ''sWslter," 1 said, . and my voice sounded
harsh and stern, ''do you know Mr.. Gray 2"
''Certairly. He is one of the best and
most upright men in the place. Why do
you ask ~ .f.hs dsad 90 ssirs4 Fi.inp
Because have promised to be his wife,
replied. / shook like an aspen my
; strength seemedsgoing from me- Walter
!. only bent his head, SO that could not see
III HE faoa anl than aail in lauu iona affa,