The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1866-01-06
VARIETY.

AT Brooklyn recently young lady went to sleep
IN church and was fastened in, where she remained
seventy hours and nearly starved to death, says the
Eagle.
L mau couplliued of his pillow ut Pithole
hotel - These pillows made Of cork. K
pertinent bandly responded the landlord. ' and
sorry to say they are failure
There is nu old newspaper story Of a banking firm
with the % /. ketchum & u. CheatIm."
Judging by the recent developments in New York.
the old partnership still exists under the name Of
Of the firm
WIT Is CAPITAL" There's our Jeremilh,' said
Mr.. Shelton, he went off to make his living by his
Wits" % Well. did he succeei;'' inquired his friend.
No. said the old with n sigh and significant
~ tapping has fGreheai-" be failed for want of
capital
CH,RGI BedISs At H5ME.-' Well, neghbor,
what's the news ,hJ noruing.'' said gentleman
10 friend. " I have juat bought sack Of -four for
a poor woman Just like you Whom nave
yoH made SO haPpy ~ your charity this morning!'
- My wife
: trader from The country. few days since, while
making purchases ~ store ia town. was asked
II be dit want some half mourning prints "Eeli,
guess | io the folks up say are jdst about
hal! dead these hot days
Tue FRFEDaEv's - BUBRAJ.'-A few days siuce
says the (haHaRooEa (Tenn.J Go-efie, ancient
gentewonsh of color came into Office OF the
Ireedmeu'S Bureau, AMI inquired If that was the
place where they kept frcedmen's bureaus. The
gentlemsnly clerk vas moInantGrily n0nplns5ed, but,
instantly recovering his wOutei gravity bandly
piled III the affirmative. Dinah With air of mys-
terry. and speaking in confidential whisper, said
'' L have come for my bureau; now give me pretty
large one. with glass top; have washstand at
home. but il is too small TO put my fxins i'm
4 GOOD March FOR SONEBODY.-Marriageable
young ladies should read and ponder upon the fol-
lowing: young in Aroostock Co., Me-, sdver-
tisin2 for a wife speaks of himself as follows '
ar Ie years old. have a good set of teeth, and be-
lieve in Andy Johnson the Star Spangled Banner.
and the 18th of July have State lot. cleared up
I,,- iaa lrr No
buckwhea looks first rate and the oats and potatoes
nre bully. l have nine sheep, two-year old bull,
and two heifers, besides house and barn. | want
To- get married I want TO buy bread and butter.
hoopskirts and waterfalls for person of the
female persuasion during life. That's what's the
matter with me But don't know how to do it."
THE NEwsPAPER.-Take the most thorough man of
the world OF your acquaintance-the man most per-
fec;iy versei in what goes on IN all conditions and
ranks Of Iife-and ask you wha; would he be with
his newspaper BY what possible machinery
could he learn. he sits his breakfast the last
news from China, Of the last ballet at Paris, the
state Of the funds at San Francisco, the winner at
Newmarket. the pantcmime Of the Olympic, and the
sncyecal Of tn Pope
Without my newspaper. life would itself
o the small limits Of my personal experience, and
humanity be compressed 10 the ten fifteen people
met With.
As for the advertisements I regard them az the
mirror Of the age. Show me but page of the
wants OF any country. and l engage myself TO
give sketch of the current civilization Of the period.
Wha, gIimpses Of interiors do gain by those
brief paragraphs. How full Of suggestions they are
Lord BrOugAGHi.
TIE WAY THAT SCANDAL COEs--in English paper
contains the following. which should go the rounds.
4 wise gives his friend this advice " II you
take house n terrace little way out Of town, be
careful select the One because story never
Iuoses by telling and II you live in the middle house.
tales which might Ue circulated TO your pre- judice
will only have half the distance travel that they
would II you lived either extreme, you will have
twice as good character those residing either
end The following fact will prove the wisdom Of my
advice: The No. told the servant At No.
that her expected his old friends the Baeys
20 pay him n visit shortly. No told No. that No.
expected have the baiifs in his house every day;
No told No. that IL up with No. i. for he
could not keep the bafs out ; and No. told No. b
that the officers we're after No L, and it much
n he couI DO TO prevent the levy Of execution in
his house. and that IL nearly killing his poor,
dear wife And so IL went increasing until II got
No 81, who confidently assured No SO that the
Bow Street Osiesrs had taken up the gentleman az
No l for killing his poor dear wife with arsenic. and
that it was confidently hoped and expected that he
would be executed