Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1866-02-02

were squeclin sheep were blatin, children
were cryin, wagginers cussin, whips we're
poppin, and horses stallin, but still the grand
kavan moved on. Everybody was continually
lookin behind, and drivin before-every-
body wanted to know everythin, and nobody
knew nothin Ten thousand wild rumors
filed the sirkumambient air. The everlastin
kayalry was there, and as they dashed toand
fro gave false alarms of the enemy bein in
hot pursuit.
About this most kl.itikul juncture of af-
fairs, some philanthropik friend passed by
with the welkum news that the bridge wer
burnt, and the danger all over. Then ceased
the panik-; then came the peaceful Gains Of
heroes after the strife Of war is over; then
exclaimed Frank Rails, my demoralized
trend, ''thank the good Lord for that Bill,
let's return thanks, and stop and rest.
Boys, let me git out and lie down, Pm as hum
BILE as ded niger. [ tell you the truth |
sung the long meter doxology as / crossed the
Etowah bridge, and expedited to be a ded
man in fifteen minutes. Be thankful fellers
let's all be thankful; the bridge is burnt,
and the river is three miles deep. Good
sakes! do you rekun them Yankees ken
swim? Git up, boys-let's drive ahead and
keep movin tell you there's no akkount-
in for anything with blue clothes on these
days. ,,Dinged, if amt afeerd Of blue tail
fly"
With most distressin flow of language, be
kontinued his rhapsody Of random remarks.
Then there was attrump Of good fellows,
Big John-as clever as he is fat, and as fat
as old Falstaf-with indie fat igable diligence,
he had sekured, as a last resort, q one-horse
steer spring wagin. with low fiat body a
settin on two riketty springs. Bcin mounted
thereon, he wasurgn more speedy lokomo
shun, by layin on to the karkass Of the poor
old steer with thrcsh-pole some ten feet
long: Havin stopped at house, he pro-
cured a two-inch auger, and BORN a hole
through the dashboard, pulled the steers tail
through and tied up the end in knot
'::My runnin gear is weak scd he, ..but [
don't intend to be stuck in the mud. If The
body holds good, and the steer don't pull off
his tail, why Bill am SAFE MY frend,"
sed [, twill you please to inform me what
port you are bound for, and when you ex-
pect to reach itY' s'No port at all, Bill"
scd he; sPm goin ded strate to the big Stone
Mountain. am 'goin to git on the top and
roll rocks down upon all mankind | now
forewarn every Twin thing not to lsnm thar
until this everlastin foolishness is OVER
He were then but three miles from town, and
been travelin the livelong night. All . my
big friend, thought I, when wilt thou arrive
at thy journeys end In the language of
Patrick Henry, will it be the next week or
the next year? Oh, that koula write a po-
uin, I would emblalm thy honest face in cpik
verse. Ikan only drop to thy pleasant MEM
Dry a passing random rhyme:
Farewell, Big John, FAREWELL
Twas painful 10 my heart,
To see thy chances Of escape,
Was that old steer and kart
Methinks I see the now,
With axletress all broke,
And wheels with nary hub at all,
And hubs with nary spoke.
But though the mud is deep,
i Thy wits will never fail
That faithful steer will take the out
If thou wilt hold his tail
Mr.. Editur, under SIGH varygated scenes
we reported progress, and in course of time
arrived under the shadow filthy sitty's wings,
aboundin in gratitood and joy.
With sweet and patient sadness, the ten
der hearts of our wives and daughters beat
moulnfully as we moved along. Often, alas,
how often, was the tear seen swimming in
the eye, and the lip quivering with emotion,
as memory fingered around deserted homes,
and thoughts dwelt upon past enjoyments
and future dcsolation. We plucked the wild
flowers as we passed, sang songs Of merri-
ment, exchanged our wit with children
snothcring, by every means, the sorrow of
our fate. These things, together with the
comick events that okkurred by the way,
were The safety valves that saved the poor
heart from bursting. But for them, our
heads would have been fountains and our
hearts river Of tears. Oh, if some kind
friend would set our retreat to musick, it would
be greatly appreciated indeed. It. should be
a plaintive tune, interspersed with okkasion-
al comick notes and frequent fuges shattered
promiskuously.
OuI ICIlCetG WCIC hOuuuClCu Ill cACCllCuG
good order, after the bridge aoas burnt. If
there were any stragglin at all, they stray
gled ahead. 1t would have delighted Gen.
Johnston to have seen the alakrity Of our
mNements. The great struggle Of our con-
test seemed to be, which army could retreat
the fastest. Gen. Johnston or ou,n-which
could outphlank the outher, and l allow as
how it ware pull Dick pull Devil between
EN-. It are a source Of regret, however, that
some Of our households of the African scent,
have fell back into the arms Of the fowl in
vaders. | suppose they may now be kalled
lnissin genators, and are by this time inkreas-
in the stock Of Odour d Affique in Northern
society, which popular perfume have crowded
out Of the market all those extracts which
made x Bazin, julius Haul, and Lubin fa-
nous. Good bye sweet otter of Roses, fare
well ye balms of a thousand fowers-your
days are numbered.
But must klose this melonkolly narrative,
and hastin to subscribe myself. ..
Your Runagee,
Bill ARP
n ~,