The Daily empire. (Dayton, Ohio) 1865-1867, 1866-06-14
A FUNNY STORY.
From the New orleans Picayune.l
Partisan Gossip.


p We are laughing over an adventure into
which an amorous shoemaker fell. He was
not content with the one wife he had taken,
but he must needs go poaching on bis neigh
hor's bed. His neighbours wife. annoyed by
his declarations, told her husband. The
latter replied ''we will punish him." They
put their heads together to devise some suit
able punishment. The evening after ttiis
family consultation. the amorous shoemaker
(who lived Immediately opposite the house
painter, whose wife he 50 loved). seeing the
husband absent, called on the wife He was
In higher spirits than ever; he bought al
enormous nosegay, made entirely of roses,
and was as full of compliments as he could
be. The wife said to him, in reply to ques-
tion my husband has gone to st. Germaiu
to recover debt of some 200f. The shoe
maker was delighted at the prospect OF
spending the whole evening with her. Two
hours flew away in the most delightful cun-
versation. He pressed her to yield; she re-
fused. At last she said: My greatest OIL
lection to you is the horrible odor of
Heather which all shoemakers have. Take
bath in.my husbands bathing tub, aid
perhaps, after you smell like other people. |
will not be as obstinate a. you say l am
The shoemaker hesitated. He dreaded toul
| play, but faint heart never won fair lady
| he undressed and was soon in the bath. lie
had not been in 1t more than five minutes
lWnen lOuu, quick knOckliiS was nearu aI
the door. The wife screamed, Mon Dieu!
There is my husband! What will become
of us Yn The shoemaker was frightened
out of his wits, his teeth chattered, his
4 knees knocked together, he was utterly be-
i widered with fright. Come into this ward
robe, quick exclaimed the wife. He obey
ed instantly. The wife opened the door;
the husband entered in atowering fury and
violently threw his cap on the floor, ex-
claiming "Accursed trip! l have not
| brought one cent back with me to pay the
note for 200f. due tomorrow. j never in
my life was in such bad luck as am now.
Give me something to eat! am half dead
with hunger and thirst" The wife repli-
ed, in her softest, gentiest tone, Here is
some cold meat, bread and wine, dear"
THE husband seized two knives on the ta-
BILE and sharpened them against each other
lin a manner which mnst have made the
poor shoemaker's blood run cold as he
croucbed in the wardrobe naked, wet, shiv-
ering with fear and cold, nearer dead than
alive. Wife" continued the husband, Il
must sell the wardrobe Tomorrow.
4 NY friend the shoemaker over the way
I has long been wanting to buy it. | will
4 carry ID to him tomorrow morning" As
. the husband spoke, he went up to the ward
/. robe, and after rattling the key for some
i time in the lock, as If he could not turn it
all which were new terrors to the poor
10 amOrOuS WnO, uOuDIlcSs NOMcO
: il ever he got safely out OF this scrape, he
I would let other mems wives alone. After
s supper husband and wife went to bed The
: next morning at nine o'clock the husband
e went out 10 get four porters. They tool
the wardrobe and carried 1t over TO the
e shoemakers. The husband found the shoe
70 makers family in state of the greatest
y CONSERVATION. The shoemaker could b,
found nowhere the warmest apprehension
were entertained of his fate his family wer'
in tears. The husband was unable to re-
lleye their anxiety he had neither seeI
G nor heard of his friend. The shoemaker
wife accepted the wardrobe, (Which sh
knew her husband had long desired to pur
chase,) and when the house painter gav
), lher the KEY she opened the door to examin
es the conditions of her purchase. The in
slant the door opened naked man wit
hair on end, covered with red, bounde
=. forth, knocking down the wife. He
Il screams, the terror of the porters and tn
apprentices, were dreadful. Meanwhile
the naked red man, evidently beside him
- self, ran wildly about the shop; his wife
" porters and apprentices flew at him wit
whatever they could lay their hands ol
and gave him a sound drubbing, until Il
M recovered his senses sufficiently 10 discove
himself. The house-painter had prepare
the bath with large quantity OF glue, an
N had thickly 'dusted" the inside of Il
lwaTurODe WIN poNuereu Ochre' "hiSH hH
been transferred 10 the poor shoemaker
body during his nights restlessness; VIII
!. the glue, getting into his hair and dryin
: made his hair seem 10 stand on end Whe
the lshoemaker's wife found out all the
/ things, she took brpom-stick and bel
+ bored her husband thoroughly. An in
lmense crowd was assembled in front
their door tthey live in the Rue ST. A
IE tohe), and the poor shoemaker has becOn
: so ashamed he has NOT since this occurren
u dared TO show his face in the street
, GAM A