The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1866-03-01
Written for the Toledo Blade.
N AS IL Y
Mr.. nasby EDjOJs n visien OF
The Next World.
CoyFEDERIr x RoADs, (wich

~ IN The Stat Nv kentucky,
February 5, 1866.
Last mite i retired TO my virtoous
couch at persizely IL, after catin rati-
ur a lite supper for that time nv mite
| alluz maik it pint 2 eat light in the
evcnin for I'm gettin old and mi dy-
gestive faculties amt what they wuz
when L wuD JounS. Alas! We Who
hcv lived out the best part nv our
daiz, wat wood we give 10 bO set bak to
the time when, with our faculties n :
impaired, we Good consUom good
square meal without foar NV conse-
quenccs. But
''Tbem happy daysisHed,
And neyerwiu return"
lpaid my respects to 2 mjncc pies,
q pair Nv pigs feet, some cold tongue
and plato Nv tripe, follcred by half
doz en- doughnuts and a couple or more
NV glasses Nv hot whisky punch, and
singlar ez it ma seem it didn't set we'll
l dreamed awl mite and my dreems
wusnt at all pleasant. McthawtI l he'd
deceest and wuz in the next world -
1t wuz singular site that met mi viz.
ion. The dividin line atwccn this
world and the next wuz swift stream
Nv water, and every dececst spirit he'd
70 cross it. The water wuz sulhin
like that nv the Dead Sea- A man un-
cncumbered with anything Good walk
on it, but they sunk down in it if they
wuz loaded, accordin to what they he'd
to carry. On tho tother side NV this
Jordan wuz Heavcn-the dominiops
Nv his majesty Satan the lst wuz belo,
and to tia strong undorcurrcnt flowed,
which took all them ez .wuz too heavy
loaded to keep their chins above wa
ter. ... .-.
On the bank stood moro than two
millions NV little devils, who flung On
to the shoulders Nv them tryin to cross,
thcir failins and weaknesses and iniqui-
ties. .,...0 s-.t
General breckenridge wuz the LIST
that saw enter the food. He he'd on
u life presorver labelled States Rights.
but a pcert little devil stuck pin into
it, and it collapsed, the gas with which
it wuz filled smellin horribly. Down
he weEt, and ez he sunk they com
menccd peltin him with packages la
belled "Trcason, "''Perjury" and "Mur-
der" and John G. went under.
Old James Buckanon went next
The old gentleman didn't keep above
water as long as able bodied ran
could hold a bar NV red hot iron in
his hand. He made one splash when
q weight labelled Treason" struck
him and down he went. The gentle
manly and urbane devil who had him
in charge, had a big pile more NV am.
munition to discharge at him, but that
one was sufficient.
Vallandigham come next. wuz
surprised to see no ono make mo-
ton at him, but he sunk all the
same.
"We never waste effort" sed Satan
to mo-" carries enough natural GUS
sedness about him all the time to sink
him, without putin anything onto him
that he did ten days ago."
Frank Pierce made his appearance,
but declined to enter. He wuz imme-
diately scezed and on each leg wuz
tied weight labelled Kansas" and
they flung him in. He went down
like shot, and that's the last seed NV
him.
Garrct Davis went in and to my
surprise passed over safely. Nothing
wuz flung athim, for which l asked the
reason.
why" sed Satan, "thc poor old
man isn't accountable. Lie commenc.
ed to talk many years ago, and keeps
on talking because he really don't no
when to stop. | could hev sunk him,
but the fact is l woodn't endoor what
the SENT nv tho Yoontcd Stats hcz
he'd for the past few years, for dozin
NV Tombs lawyers. Besides this I'm
gettin more from Kentucky now than
I'm really entitled to. I've mort
gage on two.thirds Nv that State"
Fernandy 4 Ben Wood come up
rather bold, and entered the flood cz
though they were sure NV goin through
all right, With an inimitablc chack,
le Satan motioned away the inexperi.
enccd devils and scd "leave EN- TO me-"
and at Ben ne hurled u package Nv the
New York News, wich washed him
down instanter, Jest cz Fcrnandy
wuz beginnin to reach the other shore
he flung onto him an assortment NV
weights labelled "Lotterics" Riots"
wich took him down to the arm pits,
and flushed by tumblin onto him a
mass onto wich wuz written "Mayoral.
ty' and down hc went, at which his
Majesty drew sigh Nv relief.
Seeir the style Nv the men who sunk,
l remarked unto him,
"This war hez bin rather profita-
bio thing for you"
I" Nothin to speak Nv" sod he.-
'The leaders NV the Southcrners were,
sum Nv en-, honest and got through on
that account, and the rank and file
were ignorant wretches, who amt &c.
countable nohow. The leadin copper
heads Nv the North were mine any
how, from the beginnin, Any man who
Good sympathize with tho rebels in
sich struggle, must, yoo will
acknowledge, hev he'd a long career
NV iniquityto fit ON for sich sim
Why" sed he, "do yoo think | use all
tho shot / hev2 Not ,cny. Thorn
yoovb socn piicd on wore used because