The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1866-10-31
ARTEMAs WARD AT THE TOWER
OF LONDON,


I skurccly need inform you that your excel
lent Tower is very poplar with people from the
agriCultoOral dstricks, and it was chiefly them
class which found waitin at the gates the other
mornin
saw at once that the Tower was established
on q firm basis In the entire history of firm
basisis don't find basis morn firm than this
one.
"You have no Tower in America ?" said man
in the crowd who had somehow detected my
denomination.
"A,ars no." anserd; 1--WE boste of our enter.
prise and improvements, and yit we are devoid
of Tower America, oh my unhappy country,
thou hast got no Tower It's sweet Boom"
The gates was opened after awhile, and we
all purchist tickets, and went into a waitin-
room.
"My frens" said pale-aced little man. in
black close, "this is sad day.r
'lnasmuch as to how ?" l said.
II mean il is sad TO think that so many peple
have been killed within these gloomy walls
Ny irens, let us drop tear.n
mo-" said, you must excuse me. Others
may drop tear il they lee like IL; but as for
me- decline. The early managers of this in
stitootion was bad lot, and their crimes was
rooly or!ul; but can't sob for those who died
tour or five, hundred years ago. If they was
my own relations | couldn't. It's absurd to
sned sobs over things which occurd durn the
ram OF Henry the Three. Let us be cheerful
"innered. Look at the festiv WarGt;,
in their red nannll JaUA,... NY "le 9ueertu',
Warder now took us IN charge, and showed
us the Traters Gate, the armers, and things.
The Traters Gate is wide enuf to admit about
twenty traters abrest, l should jedge; but be-
yOund this couldn't see that it was superior
TO gates in gen'ral.
Traters, l will here remark, are onfortnit
class of people, Ii they wasn't they wouldn't be
traters. They conspiIe to bust mp a country
they fall and they're traters. They bust her,
and they become statesmen and heroes.
Take the case OF Gloster, afterwards Old Dick
the Three, VINO may be seen at the Tower, on
horseback in heavy tin overcoat-take Mr..
GlOster's case Mr.. G. was a conspirator of the
basist dye, and if he'd failed, he would have
been hung on a sour apple tree. But Mr.. 6:
succeeded and became great. He was slewd
by Col. Richmond, but he lives in histry, and
his equestrian hgger may be seen daily for a
slxpence, in conjunction with other em'nent
ners"ns and no ext'v charge for the Warder's
able and bootiful lectur.
There's one king in this room who Is mounted
onto foamln steed, his right hand grasplp. a
barber's pole. / didn't learn his name,
The room where the daggers, and pistils, and
other weppins is kept is intercstln. Among this
collection of choice CUTLERY notist the bow
and arrer which those hot-heded old chaps used
TO conduct battles with. It is quite like the
bow and arrer used at this day by certin tribes
of American lnjuns, and they shoot EN- off with
such a excellent precision that almost slgh'd
to be- lniun, when was in the Rocky Mountm
regin. They are pleasant lot them lnluns.
Mr.. Cooper and Dr. CatlIn have told us of the
red mans wonerful elequence, and found 1t
so. Our party was stopt on the plains of Utah
by band of Shoshones, whose chief said,
brothers the pale-face is welcome. Brothers
the sun is snkin in the West, and Wana-bucky-
she will soon cease speakn. Brothers the poor
red man belongs to q race which is fast becomin
extink.n He then Whooped in shrIll manner,
stole all our blankets and whiskey, and fled to
the primeVal forest to conceal his emotions.
win remark here, while on the snbieck of
Injuns, that they are in the main very shaky
set with even less sense than the Fenians, and
when hear philanthropists beWailin the fack
that evory year carries the NOBLE red man
nearer the settlD sun" simply have to say Pm
glad OF ii, tho it is rough on the settin sun.
They call you by the sweet name of Brother one
mint, and the next they scalp you with their
Thomashawks. But wander. Let us return
to the Tower.
At one end of the room where the weppins is
kept is wax fgger OF Queen Elizabeth,
mounted ON a fiery stuffed hoss, whose glass
eve flashes with pride, and whose red morocker
nOstr nostril dilates hawtily, as if conscious OF
the royal burden he bears. | have associated
Elizabeth with the Spanish Armady. She's
mixed up with it at the Sure Theatre, where
Ir0O 10 The Core is being acted, and in which
full bally core is introjooced on board the
Spanish Admiral's snip, eiyin the audiens the
,1dee that he intends openin a moosic-hal in
Plymouth the moment he conkers that town.
But very interesting drammer is TroO to the
Gore, notwithstandin the eccentric conduck of
the Spanish Admiral; and very nice il is in
queen Elizabeth" TO make martin Truegold"
a baronet.
The WaIder shows US some instrooments of
tortur, such as thumb screws, throat-colars
etc.; stain that these were conkerd from the
spanish Armady, and addin what a crooil peple
tne Spaniards was in them days-Which els
slted IRON brght-eyed little girl of about
Twelve summers the remark that she tho't it
.odS rlch 10 talk about the crooilty of the Span
aSros usin thumb'screWs, when we was in a
rover where so many poor peples heads had
pee Oeen cut cut Off This made the Warder stammer
was SO pleased with the little girls bright
ness that could hAve kissed tbss 49, oLiid
and would ii she'd been ak wears ,I9a Tea' oniu
think my companions intSndeS maIljo a.,
of ii, for they all had sand dwiSSas snsSa,'y uoy
etc. The sad lookn man who had Wsotad a., =.
drop tear afore we started to go somnJ U ~
hing'd such quantiues OF sassage into w.
self TO death; he said to me- in the BeauchamI
Tower, where the poor prisoners writ theil
unhappy names on the cold walls, "This is 6
sad sight,
1T is, indeed,nI ansered. "You're black IN
the face. You shouldn't eat sassage in public
without some rehearsals beforehand. You
manage il orkwardly."or o
NO." he said, II mean this sad room.r
Indeed, he was quite right. Tho SO long age
all these drefful things happened, | was very
glad to cit away from this gloomy room and &c
where the rich and sparklin Grown Jewils il
kept / was so pleased with the Queens Crown
would be 70 send similar one home to my wife
,, and raked the Warder what was the yally OF ,
n good, Wellconstruced Crown like that III
tod me; but on cypherin' no with a pencil tn
amount OF fnns j have in the Jint Stock Bank,
eonel9odea 70 send her genteeI silver watcl
u1l Ard 6oJ left the Tower. 1t is a solid an,