Fremont journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County [Ohio]) 1853-1866, 1866-11-02
A Little Nonsense.

II dogna is denned as an opinion LAID
down with snarl.
| They are boring for petroleum it Italy.
Why don't they try the Isles Of GrsscsS
Mankind should learn temperance from
the moon-the fuller she gets, the shorter
her horns become.
| What is the difference between a sum,
mer dress in winter and an extracted
toothg One is too thin and the other is
tooth out
A statistician says he has perused four
teen hundred and thirty-three different ar
ticles on the cholera, in all of which the
author advised different preventatives.
"My 'pinion is" said philosophical old
lady of much experience and observation,
'that any man as dies upon washin' day,
does it out of pure spite"
The following new version of Scrip
ture passage is recommended for the use
of Southern Christians: 'Let the little
white children come unto me, for of such
is the kingdom of heaven"
A lady was asked to join one of the d.
visions of the Daughters of Temperance.
She replied: "This is unnecessary, as it is
my intention to join one of the Sons in the
course of few weeks"
Mary-"Charles, dear, now that we are
married, you know, we must have no Sc
crets. So, do, like dove, hand me that
bottle of hair dye; you will find it in my
dressing case.
The friends of celebrated wit express
ed some surprise that at his age, and with
his fondness for the bottle, he should have
married. ga wifewa necessary" he said.
'My acquaintances all began to say that 1
drank too much for single man."
Creditors never annoy man as long an
he is getting up in the world. A man of
wealth only pays his butcher once a year.
Let bad luck oyertake him, and his meat
bill will come in every morning as regular
y as breakfast and hungry children.
Diminutive appellations are appropriate
for children, but are out of place for adults.
''Bennie" sounds pretty for little urchin,
but when he becomes a man we give him
the full title of benjamin" Thus, in the
early stages of the great rebellion, we call
ed the rebels "Jonnies" we call
them "Johnson men,"
Tom bought gallon of gin to take
home; and, by way of label, wrote his
name upon a card which happened to be d.
the seven of clubs, and tied it to the han
die. A friend coming along, and observ-
ing the jug, quietly remarked: 'That's an
awful careless way to leave that liquor"
"Whym said Tom. because, somebody
might come along with the eight of clubs
and take it!'
Brother Caleb Bowser gave in his ex-
perience at class meeting, few nights
since, as follows: "Brethering and Sisterns,
| was out in the swamp to-day. and while
l was thinkin' about the wickedness of my
heart l heard something in the swamp
ctyin' out in fearful voice, CALEB! Ca
leb! Caleb Wur it spirit, or what wur
it, brethering and sisternsl" A death-like
silence followed the query, when a little
red-headed urchin in the back part of the
meeting house cried out: "Me55s it wur
6ull.frog, Mr.. Botessri"
A dignifed old gent, (Of the Conserva-
tive persuasion,) flourishing a silver-head-
ed cane and gold spectacles, accostsI Young
America:
Il say, sonny, what you got therei"
Young America-"Pups, sir"
Old Gent-"Pupsl hey what kind of
pups"
Y. .A.-"They are Conservative pups,
sir"
o. G.-"Conservative pupsl Why do
you call them Conservative pups!'
Y. A.-"Cause, sir, they'll be Radicals |
when they get their eyes open"
Diguifed old gent is taken with terri |
BILE coughing.