The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1866-11-15


honor to belong to any military organiza-
ton. I'm neither horse, foot, nor artillery,
but feel that within me which tells me
conld be any or all three if circumstances
required il. have served, though. i've
been where the cannonS loudly roar, &c.
In the short and decisive campaigns OF the
Home Guard was first among the foremost
in the fierce conflict, but the pay Crack
ers, cheese, and beer, which we had to
buy for ourSelvcs,) not being commensn-
rate with my abilities, | resigned my COM
mission and retired into private life. The
military spirit is, however, still strong III
my noble bosom, and when the last tour
nament called our country to arms, Dor
rowcd Il rife and went out to the Cove,
determined to show the enemies OF Canada
and of Britain that we Canucks are not 10
be sneezed at. like war-its capital
institutional mean war at target be-
cause, you see, the target can't shoot BACK
at YOU. But as for that other sort OF thing,
where the other fellow peppers away at
YOU as fast as YOU blaze away at him, and
perhaps q good deal faster-bah . it's dis
gustinc. and should not be tolerated in
civilized society.
Not being acquainted with the where
abouts of the range, was obliged to call
at ali the taverns which passed to inquire
my way the consequence of which was
that arrived on the ground in good spirits,
feeling quite confident that / could hit the
bulls eye, or any other eye, every Time.
There was great crowd of warriors as
scmblcd, and as I marched up with my
head erect and my musket grounded over
nv LETT shoulder, / could see that they All
envied my martial figure. took my posi-.
ton at the stand, muttering TO myseli,
"now's the day and now's the hour, see inc
front of battle lour," and loading my rifle
with great precision, | shut both eyes and
hlaZed away. No. on second consldera-
tion. did not blaze away; the coniounded
thing wouldn't 60 off, Frantically rammcd
in another charge-still no CO. pat in an
other. two more, three more, but still " all
was ouiet on the Potomac" / regret to
saw that / made use Of some explosives
more pointed than polite in reference TO
the rifle, but the cXigencics of the case
demanded no half-and-half measures. A
military gentleman, who was looking on,
offered to fire few shots to show
me how it was done and thanking him for
his kindness, handed him the deadly
weapon. Putting a cap on the thingum-
bob, which had neglected to do, he said,
I" You just take it in this manner, bring it
up to your shoulder thus, and - The
rest of the explanation, which | have no
doubt would have been very interesting,
was unfortunately lost, for the whole eight
charges went of with a bang, taking the
barrel with them, while my military
&. s.ln xNr ,.sl ia
made Il flank movement with attachments
into neighboring tree. Retired in dis
gust to the rcfreshmcnt tent to collect my
thoughts. Collected my thoughts. Bor-
rowed another rifle and went out to try it
again. Lucky this time. Hit the bulls
eye sixteen times in succession. Knocked
the target into smithercens. Ordered
another target, and brandy and water all
around. Proprietor demanded prompt
payment for his refreshments. Told pro-
prietor to go to thunder. Proprietor
wouldn't 20 to thunder, must have his pay.
Referred him to the City Council. Blazed
away again. Hit everything. Hit fifty
thirdcr, winged a couple Of the sixtieth,
and caromed on big Dutchman who was
up tree gathering beechnuts. Got ex-
cited, rammed the cartridge down my boot
leg, and tried to load the rifle with my
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. Fancied ! was the
target, and fired twenty-five rounds ofball
cartridges through my coat tail. Disco
vered the prizes done up nicely in small
wooden box. Made good shot this time,
and carried them all off. Big military
man demonstrated with me gently with the
butt end of his rifle. Was obliged to sue
cumbto superior force. Gave up the prizes,
and left the field in disgust.
/ have done with the profession Of arms,
Mr.. Editor. l go on the war-path no more.
have buried the Ratchet, that is to say
the rifle, forever; and the empire from this
time forward is peace.