Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1866-05-04
Bill APPLE Relates His Experience Ia
Litigation Before a Law school.

pm hIp.-he rebates His Experience Ia
Litigation Before Law school.
MessTs. c. C. Cummings and Others, Com
Mittee:
GENTLEMEN | have received you kind
invitation to address your law szool. In the
situation by which | am surrounded, it is
impossible Tor me to 90. wish | could. for
| would like 70 tell you all know about
law, and it wOuldent take long I'm now
in the law business myself in this llaCe
We are engaged in manuiacturin it By
wholesale, and after while it Will be re-
tailed out by the lawyers TO anybody that
wants It. Its an easy business TO make law.
though some Of the bills are awiully spel..
To-day | saw bill in which ''masheeurv'
was spelt with two esses and four ease. But
the greatest difficulty is understanding the
law after it is made. Among lawyers this
difficulty don't seem to lie 50 much m the
head as in the pocket. For FIVE dollars a
lawyer can lUminize some, and more ac-
kcrdlng to pay. But he Oughtent 20 Ium-
inlze but one side at q time. The first case
ever had in justice court, | employed old
Bob Liggins, who was a sort Of self-educated
fool. gave him two dollars in advance.
and he argued the case, as thought on two
sides, and was more luminous agin me than
for ne. lost the case, and found out alter
wards, that the defendant had employed
Liggins after | did, and gave him i've dol
lars TO lose my case. | look upon this as a
warning to all clients, to pay big fees and
keep your lawyers out Of temptation
My experience in litigation have not been
satisfactory. | sued Sugar Black Onst for
the price Of load Of shuks. lie said be
wanted to buy some refuse, and | agreed %
bring him Il load Of shuks i07 two dollars.
My wagon got broke, and be got tired
waitin, and sent out after the shuks bisself
When called on him for the pay, be seemed
surprised. and said it had cost him TWO dol
lars and half to have the sbuks hauled,
sand that testify owed him half a dollar. He
was bigger than | was, and | swOllOred my
bile, and sued him. Ills lawyers hled set
of Tor haulin. lie pied that the shuks were
uusound that they were barred by lmlta
tons that they didn't agree with his cows
that he never got any shuks from me. He
spoke about an hour, and allOOded to me
a. q swindler about IS times. The bedeyiled
jury went out and brought III verde.
against me for 80 cents. and four dollars for
costs Of suit hsipt saved nary shuk on
my plantation since, and don't intend %
until it gets les expensive. look upon this
a warning to ali folks, never % 10 law
about shuks, OF any other small circum
stance.
The next trouble had was with a Teller
who hired TO dig NE q we'll He was %
dig 1t for $50, AMI | was to pay hun in meat
and meal, and sich ike. The vaglbJni
Kept getten meat along until he got all the
pay;but he hadn { dug nary foot In the grown.
- made out my akS0un-, and sued him,ls
follows, to Wit:
Old John Iia8ks to Bill Arp, b..
To one well You didn't dig. 80
Well, HANKS be hired a cheap lawyer who
rared around exclusively and said q heap Of
funny things at nv expense. and finally got
my ease dismissed for what he called Its rIdi-
kulGm atslrdum. paid those costs ami
went home a sadder and a wiser man.
pulled down my littie cabin ard moved 1t
some hundred yards nearer 10 the spring,
and I've drunk NIFTY little well water since.
/ look upon this case as warning to all
folks, never to pay for anything till you've
got II, ana especially if 1t has 10 he dug.
The next law case had / gained by my
sell by the force of circumstances. l bought
a man note that was given for the hire OF
Niger boy, Dix. Findin he would not
pay ne, l sued him before old Square Nc
OInnls beieeyin it was such dead thing that
the devil couldent keep me out Of a veriik
The teller S attorney plead failure Of cOnsid-
Grafton, and non est tGktuHl, and igHiS fqtuu5
and infancy, and that the nisgers name
wasent Dik but Richard. The old squire
was powerful secesh. and hated the IAN
KEGS amazln. s., alter the lawyer had got
through hi speech and finished his readin
from a book called ''Greenleaf." / rose tor
ward 10 an attitOOd. Stretching forth nv
arm, Saws /, esquire McGinnis, | would ask,
sir, II this is q time IN the history of our
afflicted country, when Federal law-books
are to be admitted in a Southern peoples
court? Haven't We seeded forever from
their foul domination? Don't our flag
wave over Fort Sumter, and what, sur, have
We to do with Northern laws? On the very
tust page Of the gentleman's book | seed the
name OF the city Of BOsting. Yes, sur, it
was written in B0stlng published in BOsting,
and sold In BJsting, where they don't know
no more about the hire Of a niger than an
Ok knows the man that Will tan his hide
sed some more things that were pinted and
patriotick, and closed my argument by
handin the book to the squire. He put On
his specktakles, and after loOkin at the book
about a minute, says he
Mr.. Arp, you can have q Judgment, and
hope that henceiOrth and forever no LAWYER
will presOOm to come before this honorable
court with pisin documents to prove bis case.
II he do, this court will take IL as a insult
and send him 10 JAIL
l look upon this case as a warning to all
who gamble in law, to hold i good hand and
play 1t well. High justice and patriotism
are winning trumps
Alter this / had a difficulty with a man by
the name Of hOhen, and thought wouldn't
90 to law, but | would arbytrate. had
bought Tom Swilliams wheat at a dollar
bushel eff he cOuldent do any better, and of
he could do better, he was to come back ami
give me the preference. The scamp went
oil ana sold the wheat to KOhen tor a dollar
and five cents, and Kohen knJwed all about
hls contract with me.
Ne and him like to have fit, and perhaps
would eff | hadent been puny but we final
lY lett it all to Josh Billings to arbitrate.-
Old Josh deliberated upon the thing three
days and nights, and finally brought in an
award that kohen should have the wheat.
and l should have the preference. | haint
submitted any more cases to arbitration
since, and my advice to peepul is to erbitrate
notAln 1t your case Is honest, for there amt
no Judge there to keep one man from trickin
the other. An honest man don't stand no
chance nowhere exsepptin 10 a cour house
with good lawyer to back him. The mot
to Is this, never to arbitrate nothin but
bad case. and take a good wyer's advice,
and pay him for it, before you do that.