The Baltimore County union., 1866-09-08
5Misrella,teoms.
ADVERTISING FOR A WIFE.
/ Mall Agents. story.

II is now some two or three weeks since young
gentleman entered the Office OF a Special Agent
Of the Post Office Department in one Of our large
cities and announced that he had serious case
Of mail dcpfedations TO report which he would
like 10 have Investigated Immediately. Being re-
quested 10 give the particulars Of the matter, he
produced from his pocket letter addressed 10
himself, and post marked with n small town in
the State Of Pennsylvania. The envelope bore
unmstakable evidence Of having been opened and
re-scaled, and the address was In n lady's hand
writing.
There, sir, said he, carefully removing the
letter, and handing the envelope TO the agent for
inspection, that ere letters been robbed by
some post Office thici Of tweniy-siX dollars. Now
I want you 10 catch him and put the screws 10
him-give him ten years nj least. ] don't care
for the loss Of the money tit Is singular by the
way, how sublimely indifferent 10 pecuniary con-
sidera,ions most people are who prefer these ecom-
plants bu, I'd like TO see the rascal caught
Now The Agent having had considerable prcvi-
Gus experience In the investigation Of cases Of
'riiling, was quite sensible that n very nccessa-
~ preliminary 10 such Investigations was q
thorough knowledge Of all the circumstances
connected with the affair, and after atleniively
examining tue envelope. which was literally be-
daubed with mucilage he observed
"Wel, sir, | will take the memorandum Of
your statement, and IL il proves 10 he post
Office thief a. you say
''lf IL does. sir Why who else can il be /?
lsn the envelope TO speak for iiself-hasn't Il
evidently been torn open and gummed up again!
of course II is "a posi-oifre ihief--nnv ono can
see that
Probably. .ir, bu, ton see 1t just yet
BE- good enough 10 LEI me- know The name ~ the
writer Of this letter.
Tho Young man hcsiaied, and At once bis man
ncr became confused aud nervous.
Ia rather not, IL It's all the same, sir It's a
yodug lady, and there are peculiar eircumsian-
ccs ahou; the cisc--and-in short don't want
her name mixed up with IL.
''Iu, Il will BE- absolutely necessary, IA order
10 make a proper investigation, tina, should
know A,r name. Without il, | cannot under
take 20 10 anything in the matter.
The gentleman still sought for some tine 90
avoid giving the name Of his fair friend. but a,
last announced Il rs Miss Emily Melville other
questions followed, as 20 the circumstances
which led 10 the enclosure of the money,
ETC. TO which the complainant answered in an
cyasivc. shuilling way-eviden,ly trying 10 con-
ccAl something OF which he was secretly asham-
cd. Pcrceving that the investigation was likely
TO make hut slow progress while conducted in
this fashion, the agent observed
My friend, my time is too precious 10 waste
in drawing information from you with a cork
screw, and you may as well make up your mind
either 10 give me clear and unrcserved account Of
this Transaction or 10 so elsewhere with your
grievance. Now, please tell me why Miss Mel
vile sent you or tried 60 end 10 youl this
money
To pay for some broadelOlh ior cloak.
Which you were To purchase for her
Yes that Is. which had purchased for hcF. -
oh. sce--thc young lady was probably here
visiting, and being temporarily out offunds, your
galaniry forced her 10 acccpt G loan--ch? -
Well, no. not exactly. The fact is sent the
goods TO her by express, at her own request
And Of course, being an old friend
NO, not an old friend. precisely
A relative. then
No
..An. I So. something nearer aud dcarrr
We'll, yes said the youth with y simper,
and nervously swinging his hat by the rim as be
gazed nlodeslly on the loor 1--WE re lov--engag'
Cd mean.
" No. sir-rve had letter from her since, and
she swears-l mean she's ccriaiD--5lie put the
money in.
Perhaps, then, said the agent striving IL
express his suggestion in the least offensive wRy,
:. pcr,aI,s she omitted 10 inclosc IT,
''Sir, exclaimed the fond lover, rousol by
this insinuaiioa " what do yon mean Ther'
is no doubt whatever. sir, that she sent the moH
ey. | would stake NY life on her honor.
tended. I'm sure. But, you know ] have no
the pleasure OF the lady's acquaintance. lIy ih'
way, how long have Won known hcr-A long tint
| presume.
The Young gentleman embarrassment was Wis
ibly increased as he replied, About six months.
a Met her in Pennsylvania, suppose
Yes, that is, mol can't say did"
Where did you met her y
Why, can't say exactly-dOn't kcew ne
have ,uct hcr al all Ia tell the truth -
Telling the truth seems to be a work Of eSs.
with you, remarked the agent drily. Now, !
you will be good enough 10 give me Ugh, Rbou
what you know Of this young lady whom yo'
propose 10 marry, ana upon whose honor yo'
are willing 70 stake your life, peftlsps there ma,
be some prospect Of getting at the facts OF th
mysterious robbery, otherwise you need vast
no more time In this ncighborhood.'
Well, II you must have H. here II Is +! f0'
see, about six months ago, Just for fun, 20,
know advertised for wife, and this yoasg lad,
happened 10 advertise Cor q husband about iha
same time, and We answered each others adver.
tisements. hut then she was 10 earnest-all on
the square. oh, yes, continued be, observing
perhaps an ncFcdulous smile on the counicnancs
Of the agent, " she was all right-wanted q hus.
band--wanted one bad. She was rather sltuat.
cd in this way she hadn't got no father OF
mother, and was under the charge OF guardian
an Old fellow about my, and she's worth about
twenty thousand dollars there his eyes glistened
eovetously, In her own right this guardian hf
takes aud puts her Into q boaFdlng-schoOl, and
intends 10 force her into marrying him. She'd
rather have some young fellow, Of course nalu-
raj, isn't Il? and 30 she takcs and advertlses for
a husband. So, as was saying, | answered her
advertisement, aud she replied 10 my letter, and
50 We got up a correspondence. How, there ain
no humbug about her ! can tell whcn girl Il
In earnest know she's all right the way she
writes. So, about two weeks ago she says In a
postscript 10 one OF her letters, wish You would
90 10 Stewards and yet me Eve yards Of broad.
cloath, and send u for a cloak, and will sond
You the money Just as soon AZ Il comes, and don
fail TO LEI me know jus, how much Il ls, for
do not wish you TO be at any expense for me. -
So went 10 Stewards aud got the cloth, and
sent Il by express, and wrote 10 her aud told her
II was twcnty-slx dollars, and then she put the
money into this letter, and some darned thiefln 4
post Office has gone and stole u that's al there
is about H.
"Oh, iharsallv r. said The agent, with dlficnlty
restraining the laughter which this piilul tale d
love was calculated 10 provoke. Well, sir
there's no doubt that you are very much abused
individual, and " you will call again In about I
fortnight, think ] will b able % give you SON.
definite information In regardriO ths matter
Thank you, sir only ~. that posl.olhc,