Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1866-05-04
VARIOUS ITEMS.


He who is tiger in his own family
is generally sheep in society.
Are the "Ides of March" the skins
Of March ares?
n-RATHER OMINoUs. be impor-
tuned by your young wife to get your
life insured.
Where is paper money first men,
toned in the Bible? When the dove
brought the green back to Noah
Why is kissing sweetheart like
eating soup with fork Because it
takes long while to get enough of it.
"A pretty girl and wild horse are
liable to do much mischief, for the one
runs away with fellows body, and the
other runs away with his heart.
In Carson City there is a dancing
school, conducted on strictly moral prin-
ciples--' cash in advance, and no hug
GIN"
The local of the Erie Dispatch has
in his hands silver dollar, and offers to
furnish written description of it at re-
duced prices. His having it at all is sus-
picious.
-"Halloo, my jolly rebel, how do you
feel now, since the surrender" Every
much like Lazarus, Yank." "How's
that ?" "Like | was licked by dogs"
"A refugee says he moved SO often
during the war, that whenever a cover
ed wagon stopped at the gate his chick
ems would fall on their backs and hold
up their feet in order to be tied and
thrown in.
The editor of an Eastern paper says:
awe have adopted the eight-hour sys-
TEN in this office. We commence work
at eight in the morning, and end work
at eight in the evening"
A widow out West married man
to whom she refused her daughter, be-
cause, she said, her first husband was an
ugly ''critter," and she learned to man.
age such cattle.
- One of the many applicants for the
post Of Deputy State Collector in Hamp-
shire county, Mass, exhibited phre-
nologists chart of his archaeological de-
velopements to prove his fitness for this
Office.
EDITING PAPER. Editing a paper
is very pleasant business.
If it contains too much political mat
ter. people won't have it.
If the type is too large, it don't con-
aihsenough reading matter lB
If the type is small, people won't
read it,
If we publish telegraph reports, peo-
pie say they are lies.
If we omit them, they say we have no
enterprise, or suppress them for political
effect,
If we have few jokes, people say
We are rattlehead.
If We omit them, they say we are an
old fossil.
If we publish original matter, they
damn us for not giving selections.
If we publish selections, men. say we
are lazy for not writing more, and Civ
ing them what they had not read in some
other paper.
If we give man complimentary
notice, then we are censured for being
partial.
If we do not, all hands say we are
greedy hog.
If we insert an article that pleases the
ladies, men become jealous.
If we do not cater to their wishes, the
paper is not fit to have in the house
If we attend church, they say it is
only for effect.
If We don't, they denounce us as de-
ceitful and desperately wicked.
If we remain in the Office and attend
to business, folks say We are too proud to
mingle with our fellows.
II we go out, they say we never attend
to business.
live publish poetry, we affect senti-
mentalism.
live do mol, we have no polish or taste.
If the mail does not deliver our pa
pers promptly, they say we do not pub
hsh ION time"
If it does. they are afraid we are Get.
ting ahead of time.
If We do not pay all bills promptly.
folks say we are not to be trusted.
II We do pay promptly. they say ve
stole the ncuey