Ashtabula weekly telegraph. [volume] (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1853-1873, 1866-10-20

from 1n11lctln tnem seq wounds r. mur-
INJURED /.
can eff I accept the Post Offs in my
native village wich l hev bin solssited
so strongly to take that / htv finally
yielded, do it only that may devote
my few remainin energies wholly to the
great cause of restorin the SO States to
their normal posishens onto the flag with
the 36 stars onto it, in spite of the Judis
Iskariots wich, eff am whom, wat is the
Saviour and where is"
Perceevin that the unfortunate man
had got into the middle of quotashen
from a speech of our noble and Patriotic
President, and KNOWN that his intellck
wuzn't hefty enough to git it off jist as
it was originally delivered, I took him by
the throat and shet off the flood NV his
elokence.
"Be quiet, yoo IDIOT" / remarked
soothingly to him, "yoo'll git yoor ap-
pointmcnt, becoz for the first time in the
history OF this or any other Republic,
there's market for iist sich men as 700,
but all this blather won't fetch it mint
sooner"
"Good Lord I" thot I ez turned away,
swat President A. J. is to hev to buy
up Sich cattle Wat Postmaster he
must be whose gineral cussedness turns
nly stummick %
| 1t wuz deemed necessary to sec NV wat
we wuz composed, whereupon Kernel X,
who is now Collector NV Revenue in Hi
noy, asked eff there wuz any man in the
room who had been primer doorin the
latofraticidal struggle. A gentleman nv
perhaps thirty aroze and sed he wuz.-
lie he'd been taken three times, and wuz
altogether Is months in doorance vile in
three different prizens.
Custar fell on his neck and asked him,
agitatedly, eff he wuz shoor-quite shoor,
after sufferin all that, that he supported
the policy NV the President ? Are yoo
quite shoor ?--quite shoor 2"
81 am," returned the phenomenon, 81
stand by Andrew Johnson and his poll
cy, and | don't want no Officer
"Hev yoo got one p shouted they all
in korus.
"Nary," sed he; with me it is matter
of principle" ....
swat prizens wuz 700 incarcerated
in ?" asked /, looking at him with won
der
"Fust at Camp Morton, then at Camp
Douglas,a and finally at Johnson's Island"
Custer dropped him, and the rest re-
marked that while they he'd very helthy
opinion NV him, they guessed he better
not mention his presence or consider his
self delegate. Ez ginrous foes they
loved him, ruther better than brother,
yet, as the call didn't quite mcleod him,
though there wuz delightful oneness be-
tween EN-, yet, eff 'twuz all the same he
he'd better not announce hisself. He wuz
from Kentucky, afterwards ascertain
ed.
The next mornin, suthin over two hun
dred more ariv, and the delegashens bein
all in, wuz desided to 90 on with the
show. A big tent he'd bin brot on from
Boston, to accommodate the expected
crowd, and quite an animated discussion
arose ez to wich corner NV it the conven
shun wuz to okepy. this settled, tho
biznis wuz begun. General Wool wu2
made temporary chairman, to which hon
or he responded in n eloquent extern
poraneous speech, which he read from
manuscript, and we adjourned for dinner.
The dinner hour wuz spent in caucus
sin privately in one NV the parlors NV the
hotel. The chairman asked who shoold
make speeches after dinner, wen every
man NV EN- pulled from his right side
coat pocket roll NV manuscript and sed
he he'd dotted down few ijees which he
he'd conclooGed to present extemporane-
ously to the convenshun. That Babel
over, the Chairman sed he personnel
some one shoold be selected to prepare a
address, whereupon every delegate rose
and pulled a roll NV manuscript from his
left side coat pocket, and sed he he'd dot
ed down a few ijees on the situation
which he proposed to present ct settry.
This occasioned another shindy, wen the
chairman remarked "resolushens," when
every delegate rose, pulled roll NV man
uscript from his right breast coat pocket,
and sed he he'd jotted down a few ijees
wich, etc.
| stood it until some one mentioned
me ez chaplin to the expedishun West,
wen the pressure becum uncomfortable
They sposed | wuz keeper NV the Presi-
dents conscience and he'd not minit's
peace after that. In vain ashoored 'em
that there bein no eonsciences about the
White House, no one could hold sich a
III Ndll l. dSuOOTeu eIn UndU neu
no influence with his majesty. Two
thirds uf EN- pulled applicashens for pla-
ces they wanted from the left breast coat
pocket, and insisted on my takin en- and
seein that they wuz appinted. told EN-
that Good do nuthin for EN-, but they
laft me to skorn. Yoo are jist the style
NV man, they say, who hez infooence with
His eggslency, and yoo must do it
Iemmed in, there wuz but one way of
escape and that way / took. Seizin car
pet sack, which, by the way, belonged to
a delegate, Il took it to give myself the
look NV traveler), Irushed to the depot
and started home, entirely satisfied that
eff Cleveland may be taken as a sample,
the less His majesty depends on soljers,
the better.
PETROLEUM V. NAsBY, p. NJ
(wich is Postmaster,)
land likewise late chaplin to the expedi-
shun J
p. 81 opened the carpet sack on the
train, spectin to find a clean shirt in it at
least. 1t contained to my disgust an ad.
dress to be read before the Cleveland con.