Des Arc citizen., 1866-05-19
NUMBER 13.


 Your head sches.and you feel the sea-turtles and canvas backs rootin straight into your skull.--Thc feas of despondency bite you through the day, and bed bugs of conscience, as big as sheep, keep you from sleep at night. You're worse than man with his hands tied lyin naked in bayou. without musketo bari Out of remorse springs just about ten millions of musketoes, with comic stockins on their legs, and augurs in their mouths, all boz rim strait through and through your body and filln up the holes with cow-itch and skunk's cologne Your.situation is too numerous to mention. The molasses hogsheads of gener- osity and good feelin is staved in, and the sweet stream of kindness and humanity is mixn with the tar, dead dogs ald drunken nigeers lyin about on the street of vice and immortality. Tho Mississippi of love is at low water tho steamboat of prayer and the broad horn of faith both laden with rich cargofor the country above, git cruelty snaggcd on the logs of despair, and both sink deep into the yaIler mud of sinl The catfshes of hell which are born in the bilin spring of intem- peranee, float round your brains, and tho scrcech owls of sorrow set 'hoohooing' in the henroost of your hearts. You're deserted and despised--you're no more use to the world than pair of goggles are to stone blind man, and you're no more use to yourselves than problem ofEuclid is to a nigger baby!
 And now, my brethren, I'll take Q drink, (for my throat is as dry as wet chemise which has been in hot sun for three days,) and then I'll tell you how you can turn the mill stream of this world right slap on the wheel of life, so as to grind the grain of the spirit so fine, that it'll make dough nuts fit for angels to chaw!
 My lamb like hearersl Twill now tell you how you can come in at the great sheep-shcar- in on the judgement day, how you can sleep in peace and quietness on the clean straw of the grave, and how you can fill your stomach through life with the tender young grass of joy, and the cool silver water of thankfulness. In the first place meyer put out your arms fur ther than you can draw them ill again without getting scorched. If you do Judkin's burn ointment won't save you! Be content with the fodder you have gathered in the field of honesty, andnever try tosteal your neighbours, because his eyes ain tquite as slarp as youin. don't mean to say that you must let his hogs root into your worldly nterest--no, no, drive them out quietly but let him seethat there's no hole in your fence of common sense, through which they may creep. Never aspire to things above your reach, andif you're Twin on the first floor of poverty, don't try to danr gle your shanks out of the third story window of pride. There's good dealof happiness i'm this world, but, like picked blackbcrrics, you HluSt Uc cufcIuIHOL ID ScL luc IHOTHS iHtO youT hand while ghtherin them, Like young squirrels, always lay up nuts in the summer and autumn of plenty. for the season when you find icicles cloggin around yourheart, and on your unprotected scalp. Don't be so stin- gy thatsyoure afeard to breathe, because 1t wears out your lungs; but recollect that mon ey is like umbrellas, it always comes in use on rainy day. This earth is as lovely as q clean shaved man, or a newly painted church, and it's your own fault if the razor is full of. gaps. or the whitewash ditto of dirt and horsehair. It's like a stone pavement cov- cred with seet also, you must put the hob nails ofprudcnec, and the carpet tacks of ob- servation, with the eends downwards, in the thick boots of your conduct, in order to pre- vent yours getting your heads bumped and your shins bruised upon the frozen earth- My hearers, don't go to sleep yet--a little more and I shall have done. as the boy said to his mother.
 Conform to all that have said, and you'll be as happy as pigs while eating rum cher ries. Your hearts will be as clean as baby's head, after it has been washed in warm water and castillo soap and your eyes will glistcn with gladness, like tin pans in the sunshine. If the storm of affiiction comes and vets your heart through and through, why you can put it out agin uponsthe rainbow of your promise, and when all's oyer--when you shake off the heas of mortality from your hides, you'll find bran new crown, made just to- your size, hanging up on a peg. in the hat shop of h1 ayen! "A
 DUSTIN BAREBoNES.