The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1866-08-03

So. The process OF converting said slippery
elm into honey is complicated one no less
than seven operations being gone through He
then very practically expatiates on the immense
profits, allowing so much for manufacture and
SO much for retailing price. His "honeyed"
words were seductive, but 1t would take some
quarts of honey to make "V," and "a bird in
the hand is worth two in the BUSH"
STAPLE BUSINESS
Here is another of the same style:-
RR sl5O. MONTH i-.NEw BUSINESS FOR
AGENTS Il. b. Shaw, Alfred, Ne,
BY inquiring, the anxious may learn that the
one hundred and fifty dollars u month can be
made in selling useful little articles, such as
patent barometers, leadpencil sharpeners. and
few select patent medicines and other things.
Clever man Mr. Shaw is, and very liberal. His
business, too, is Of that extremely juvenescent
character that is always new, and al ways will be
new. Go and ask the vendors OF his wonderfully
profitable wares how much they can make day
at retailing them, and you will wonder where
the one hundred and fifty dollars month comes
from.
Following down the same line of advertise
ments, we come across the anxious inquirers
for partners. There is one in particular,
whose announcement has been in the same
paper for months on months. Sometimes 1t
reads $3.50. sometimes $500, but it is always in.
And then, too, only think lit is not new
busiress, but an old-establshed one, and In
Race street, too, where, as a general thing,
humbugs are not allowed to intrude We can
only imagine, if we know no better, that the
| gentleman advertising must be very fastidious
man in the selection of his "pardner," as his
| little 'noatus" stays in day after day, as if it
| were put in by the year.
| We 90 to his place. 1t is neat enough look
ing place. He explains the nature of his busi-
ness house is advertised for sale or to rent
| People anxious to know the terms stop az his
| office. He refers them to another Office down
| town, which s branch of his He previously,
| however, charges fee for this much informa-
ton, and the deluded goes to the other office,
| and alter paying fee here too, learns that the
| house can't be seen for some days, as the Wner
| is not at home; ana so the game goes ou, and
| the poor victims are cast backwards and for.
wards like shuttle-cocks.
| 1t is very rarely that the sharper is caught
| up in his tricks. We did see an account the
other Gay of one of them being hauled over the
| Goals for his nearious practices; but it did not
| appear to have any good effect, to Judge from the
| continued announcements of his contreres in the
| papers. They do very often succeed in entrap-
| ping the unWary, who are anxious to enter
| into business with a small capital. Perhaps
| we are wrong IN calling the above partner
seekers" humbugs They would more properly
come under the head OF "swindhng cheats"
HUMBUGs INNUMERABLE.
But we must hasten to close, or our article
| will swell into the size OF a small book rather
| than a newspaper article. The genus humbug
| is only touched upon. The different species can
be seen everywhere and in every place. We see
| them in our places of business, where man
| pawns his watch to get the money to pay the
| tax on large income; in the dandy as he
| parades our fashionable thoroughfare with
dollar iewelrv and unpaid-for clothes. and stops
| at the dinner hour to stand ia the doorway of
| our most aIistocratic hotel to pick his teeth,
| We recognize the species in the rosy-cheeked
damsel who so mincingly foots it along, with
her tilting skirts, false calves, DalpItators
| plumpers, rouge, etc. etc. We see them IN the
| residents of those elegant brown-stones who
! dine in private on potato or herring three
hundred and ffty.tve days in the year. and give
splendid dinners the other ten, and who shut
up the fronts of their houses when summer
comes, and live in the garret until it is time TO
come back from Saratoga.
LAST FOND LOOK.
Again, we find it in she spirit-rappers, who
call up the ghosts OF the great departed. Indeed,
this is an age of humbugs. We see them al!
around US. When one deusIon dies out, or is
found out another takes its place. Every now
and then we will come across a store that sells
gold watches and diamond rings for zone dol
lar" DESTROYS OF getting such prize, we enter,
perhaps, and pay our quarter and get a sealed
envelope containing the name and value of our
prize" We draw sets of brass studs, or per-
haps pewter breastpn, with six bits OF glass in
it. The real value is about five dollars tor ton
weight, or thereabouts. The description price
| is about five dollars. Coming out OF the ewelry
store, we look in vain for its twin sister, the
'gift-book store" We shall even have to search
for our old friend "Cheap Johnny" the Califor-
MIA auctioneer. .-.r
| Just now the humbug that is rampant is the
political. But as even to touch on that would
require one to write as long letter as one of
John Minor Botts', we will refrain, and close.
The only good signs we see of their power
being shaken is the stand taken by our press in
trying to discourage them The papers do not
now TEEN with their silly or filthy advertise
ments, as they did OF yore. Is it because people
are really getting wiser, or because the times
are too troubled to afford time to encourage
them? AS the preachers say, we will hope for
the best, and fear the worst. We can only repeat
the words of the great orator:-"O teneDore! o