Des Arc citizen., 1866-10-20
ARTEMUS WARD IN LONDON.
A "TRANS-MEJICM Il.

MR. PUNCH-MY DEAR SIR: It is now some two weeks since a rather strange lookin' man engaged part ments at the Greenlion. He stated he was from the celebrated United States i; but beyond this he said nothin'. He seemed to prefer sollytood. He re- mained mostly in his room, and when ever he did show hisself he walked in moody and morose manner in the gardin, with his head bowed down and his arms folded across his breast. He reminded me sumwhat of the celcbra- ted but onhappy Mr. Haller, in the cheerful play of the stranger. This man puzzled me. I'd been puzzled afore several times, but never so seen crally as now. Mine lost of the Green lion said 1 must intcrrigatc this strange beiffA f1o claimed to be my country man. "Hc hasn't called for drop of beer since he's been in this ere 'ouse." said the landlord. Il look to you" he added, 'to clear up this dark, this orful mistry!"
 wringod the lan'lord's honest hand, and told him to consider the nlistry cleared up.
 l gained axes to the misterus bein's room, and, by talkin' sweet to him for few minits, l found out who he was. Then, rcturnin' to the lan'lord, who was neryisly pasin' up and down the bar, I said
 sweet Eoando, don't trcmblc no more! I've torn the marsk from the hawty strangers face, and dived into the rcccSScs of his inm0st sole! Hes a trans mejim !7
 I'd been to the bcefmhain theatre the prcyis cyenin', and probly the dram mar I saw affected me, because I'm not ill the habit of goin' on as per above. like the Bcefanham theatre very much indeed, because there a enthOosiastic lover of the theatre like myself can unite the legitermit dranmar with fish. Thus, while your cnraptcrod soul drinks in the lority and noble senten- ces of the gifted artists, you can eat a billed mack Til jest as cOmtor'bly as in your own house. | felt constrained, however, to tell fond mother who sot immcgitly behind me, and who was ac- companied by gin bottle and a young infant-I felt constrained 10 tell that mother when her infant playfully min- oled rayther oily mack'ril with the little hair that is left on my vener'ble he'd. that l had a bottle of scented oil at home, which on the whole l tho't I preferred to that which her orfspring was greasin me with. This rilcd the excellent female, and she said, "Git out! You never was an infank your self, suppOse Oh no? You was too good-to be infank, you was! YOu slid into the world already grOwed, didn't you Git out!' ''No, madam, I replied, ''I too was once an infant was luvly child. Peple used to come | in large and enthusiastic crowds from all parts of the country to see me, l was such sweet and intelgent infant. The excitement was so intens, in fack, that extra hotel was startid in the town to accommodate the pepel who thronged to my cradle"
 Havin finished these troothful state hints, smilt sweetly on the worthy female. She said, "Drat you, what dc you come a-chaffin me for" and the estymible woman was really gettin flu ris. when I mollyfied her by praisir heL child, and aXin pardin for all said "This little gal" l observed, ''this sur prisingly luvly little gal" when the mother said. its t'other sect is he, sir it's boy" "Wall,a I said, "then this little boy, whose eye is like eagle a-soaring proudly in the azure sky will some day be a man, if he don choke hisself to death in childhood sunny hours with smelt or a bloater or some other drefful calamity. How sublime the tho't, my deer madame that this infant as you fondle on you i knee on this night may grow up into free and independent citizen, who's
 vote will be worth from ten to fifteel