The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1866-07-28
Fashionable Folly.

Fashionable Folly.
Intemperance is now becoming one OF
the favored forms Of fashionable disslpa'
ton to which the ladies of our large
cities are addicted. The Northern pa
pers depict in an alarming manner the
prevalence of a mania fer drink among
the bellies and danes sow sojourning at
the various watering places throughout
the country. The more watchful and
nervous representatives OF masculinity
have been greatly disturbed of late years
by the successive enoroachments OF the
softer sex upon their prerogatives OF
habit, vocation and dress. The repeated
shocks sustained by these sensitive indi-
viduals have had a telling effect upon
their delicate organizations. When
woman made her appearance upon the
rostrum and discoursed as unsteady from
the desk of the. lecturer as fr0m
the curtains ot Mrs. CAUDLE, these
dainty, fearful gentry were astound-
ed at her tenlerlty. and trembied
from perieranium to. patent feathers.
When the daughters of EVE assumed
tbs scalpel, pill-hoX aud lancet and
instead of mini>t-ring to wounded
hearts, began T." u o"d, physic and heal
the entire bodily structure, there was
dreadful commotiou among anxious
and affrighted mankind Each succeed
ing appropriation IF his attire was liko-
wise a source of perturbation TO the
timorous homo. When his booth heels
were applied to the elevation of his
aspiring sisters, he came ont fat-footed
and denounced the invasion of his priv
ileges When his skates were raced to
suit the diminutive pedal extremities OF
frolicsome femineity he offered mis- boots
10 horror and they were accepted. His
ohokers and cravats Wore resigned with
q speechless, CHASTITY submission, equal
led only by the affrigbted docility with
which he yielded up his coat. He
consoled himself with the refec-
ton that further infringements
were impossible land was again vexed
and Knocked by seeing his hat, surmOunt-
ing waterfall, follow the rest of his
wardrobe to keep company with crino-
line and calico. Here, it was hoped, the
progress of the invaders would be
stayed, but alas for the frailty of mortal
expectations Having mimicked him IN
dress, the irrepressble deyotee of fashion
very naturally initiated him in habit
Accordingly she bets with him at horse
races, beats him at billiards and mingles
the smoke of her cigarette with the
fragrance of bis HAVANA. Not satisfied
With this, not content with depriving
The poor creature of almost all the pre-
negatives Of bis sex, she next makes a
fiji al charge, a grand assault, confscates
his hottie, al propriares his lager and
merrily drinks his health in his own
Bourbon and Otard Is there TO be no
limit to this merciless appropriation of
masculine privileges ana habits Is
man to be compelled 10 share eveg his
vices at the bidding of fashion? Is he
TO have nothing, not even pint of bald
face or flask of rsd.eye, he Cab call hi,
owns He hasdivided his professions, br
has abdicated his uumentionables, he
has surrendered his wardrobe generally.
but his rum, he did think his Sam would
be sacred But "ranitds yosStnt,sD, ;" The
shrine of Bacchus has another aud "a
fairer votary; the convivial board must
make room for tbSTsty aud inebrat to NO.
manhood, Sweet and rosy lips must 10
'moistened" with cobblers and clar..c
punches; bright oculars will ,yoN
brighter with drop i'll the eys," The
aroma of mint julips aud brandy
smashes will perfume the breatl Of
''ineoherent' Sweethearts aud wives
who have "been 10 the Office" or stop
ped to see man." aud dutifol lovers
and husband IS Will search among bar
room rinsings for stray hair pins. missing
bracelets and truaut waterfalls Since
the fates so will it, let the sterneg sex
welcome the gentler to the joys of jolly
sprees and lager beer Hard as il NAV
be to share their dearest rights. the
sacrifice will not he wis.out It's at,r,d.
ant consultations The drinks they mako
us set up" in the evening, their next
morning headaches will pay for. aud
every cocktail before breakfast imblbed
oy shaky bellies will be glorious pan.
acea to the weuOded pride of huurilia-
ted manhood.