Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1866-06-08

VARIOUS ITEMS.


1 VARIOUS ITEMS.
Keep the eyes wide open before
marriage, and half shut afterwards.
s-AIf your knowledge is little, let not
your words be mauy.
= Ground coffee is said to be an ex-
cellent disinfcctant.
Why is dog lying with his nose to
his tail, an emblem Of economy? Be-
cause he makes both ends meet.
--s am on the trail Of deer" as
gentleman said when he trod on lady's
dress.
Lovers, like armies, generally get
along quietly enough until they are en-
gagged.
Mrs. Partington says that Ike has
bought horse SO spirituous that he al
ways goes off on decanter. s
Listen to fiatterer who understands
his trade, and then try to be what be
says you are.
"A man advertises for g competent
persons to undertake the sale Of new
medicine" and adds that sit will be pro-
ftable to undefahers I" No doubt Of It.
The radicals, who are so much fond
er Of the negro than Of the white man
are the people spoken of in Scripture,
who love darkness rather than light"
"A Western editor thinks Hiram
Powers is a swindler, because he chiseIed
on unfortunate Greek girl out Of block
Of marble.
The lawyers motto--be brief. The
physicians motto-be patient. The pot
ter's motto--beware. The type-setter's
motto--be composed.
The easiest way to get living, says
o vagabond poet, is to sit on gate and
wait for good luck. In case good luck
don. como along, you are no worse off
than you were before.
Brownlow says Kentucky may ego
to hell. : Cant you give her letter Of
introduction, Governor ? It might have
great weight with the cloven-footed rad
ical below. - Nashville Examiner. r
Prentice makes the following wick
ed lunge at the very underpinning Of So
eiety. He says. " fitting hoops enable
the common people to see great deal
more Of good society than they ever saw
before, I"
There is something exquisite in the
Americans reply to the European travel
or, when he asked him whether he had
just crossed the Alps: "Wal, now you
call my attention to the fact, guess /
did pass risin' ground"
To cure hoarseness, take the white
Of two eggs. and beat them, two spoon
fuis of white sugar; CRATE ina little nut
meg, then add pint Of lukewarm wa
ter. Repeat the prescription if neces-
sary, and il will cure the most obstinate
ease in short time
II man il. the !" loyal State Of
Wisconsin, who haa been in the army,
brought home, among other trophies, a.
young negro. After keeping him at
hard labor for some months his benefac-
tor snapped him off for dog.
To obtain an electrical shock from
cat, place the left hand under the
throat, and with the middle finger and
thumbslightly press the bones of the ami
mails shoulder; then, when the right hand
Is gently passed along the back, percep-
tible shocks Of electricity will be felt in
the left hand.
A Republican in Maine, who had
served out his time Of thirty days in the
Augusta Jail, was asked when he came
out how he liked it. q had bully
time, = said he, There were seventy
six inmates ofthe Jail, and not a. I'D
Democrat amongst the lot"
As four or five darkies were passinr
an agricultural Implement store on Bond
street, yesterday, one of them, pointing
to cultivator, said, "a man kin list set
on that thing and ride while he's a plow-
in y ssGolly," replied another, 1.-THE
d--n rascals was too sharp to tink q dat
fore de niggers vas free r. Nashville
Banner.
An exchange makes the startling
assertion that within month after The
opening Of the New York Inebriate
Asylum, ever fifteen hundred applica-
tons were made by wealthy parents for
the admission of their daughters. who,
had contracted habits Of Incompetence
from the use of wines and liquors at
fashionable parties.
in view Of the fact that the Adolf
tionists in Congress have proposed some
eighty odd amendments to the Constitu-
ton, facetious fellow in Kentucky Of
fsrs the annexed amendments to the con-
sideration Of the Constitution tinkers
Every freedman shall have a bureau
for himself. with a looking glass on the
top, if he wants it.
Every freedman shall have a secre-
tary,
Every freed boy or girl shall have
wardrobe.
Every freed child shall have eyery-
thing II cries for.
White nnnr,1a whafhar f-ao =. =.