Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1866-01-03
JAKE AND JACK; OR A ROW IN
THE 6HERIFF'S OFFICE.

THE sHERiFF's OFFICE.
This first-class county comedy is not
yet completed but it has got far enough
along in the acts to warrant a partial pub
lie translation. without infringing on the
copyright. Our democratic friends
were rather unfortunate in the selection Of
one of their officers, at their successful
canvas of September. 1864. Lucien Her
mann, County Clerk, is q pretty good bust
ness man and has some idea OF how
official matters should be conducted. But
Jake is no more fitted for his place than a
man from the moon is adapted to diges-
ton of cold Norwich porridge. Hermann
was apprised OF this latter fact, long tim
ago; and he took it upon himself, in ali
friendliness, to do a political brother Il
favor, by suggesting that he ought to have
more system, or at least some sort of sys-
TEN in the management Of the affairs o.
his office. Jake ut once Strengthened up,
and declared that he poud have method
in his official affairs,-would demand
records that would be legible. even to his
untutored understanding. So Jacob goeth
to Jack, and delivereth his resolve, formed
at the instigation Of the comparatively
astdte County Clerk, Hermann. Now
Jack is a knowing coon; and his shrewd
reply was, that the Sheriff's Office was
necessarily more complicated in its trans
actions than the Clerks office, -suggest-
ing therein a superior dignity as appertain:
ing to the functions of Sheriff over County
Clerk. Jacob, accordingly, rebounds from
Hcrman's advice; and is impressed with
the consoling, the proud fact that his
posish is full n flight of stairs, in fact
and metaphor. above the place Of humble
Hermann. Even 50!
It was thus that matters proceeded for
some time after the rejected advice was
given. Jacob wanted a hundred dollars
on this occasion, 5000 on that /; and anon
q $40 piece for melodeon recreation; and
calling upon Jack for the amounts, as oc-
casion required, the latter generously
plunged his fist in his pocket, and furnish
ed the funds his nominal chief required.
So it has been from the moment Jake be-
came Sheriff. But nothing knew Jacob
Of the details Of the affairs of his Office.
By and by it somehow (this part of the
plot has not yet been fully made known
hoo he came to find it out.)-we say, by
and by it became known to Jacob that
5000 at least, had passed through his
office, during the last fifteen months /; Of
which sum Jake had received u small frac-
tional amount Hermann thinks, from
the papers in his office, that full 100000
have been received in the Si.erifFs Office,
in the space of time designated. How
ever, $4,000 is ascertained definitely, and
by the books, to be a sum that has been
through the SherifFs office in fifteen
months.
Well: Jake says, how is this? Jack
says: "It's all right" Jake retorts
"Don't see it :" Jack intimates that none
are so blind as those who can't see. Jacot
| getteth wroth seateth himself and writett
unto Jack: Hand thou in, instanter
| thy resignation" Jack comes back =. ~
| principal, thus: ~ will not Iutign
Yours respectfully, etc." Jacob then
lifts his quill and hisseth upon the paper
thus: al discharge you, at once, forth
with, go, be nc longer a Lieutenant O
mine, Shakespeare. yours very truly, etc.
Jack is not disconnected not he. Ec re,
plieth. still: II do not accept the dis
charge, you bet, yours very faithfully,
etc., ETC."
Meanwhile, Hermann's nephew is look.
ing over the SherifFs books. At first h.
could not find two books belonging to tn
office but they were ultimately produced
by Jack. Everything balances. Jack
comes forth with a second epistle declin
ing the favor Of a discharge saying. "Yor
can not discharge me without giving .
reason" Jacob finds Il difficult to give
reason for tho faith that is very ~strongl,
in him.
A committee Of Copperhead lawyers is
appointed by Jake and Jack, who consul,
and confab concerning affairs in the Sher-
ifs Office but their report.text, which
is to be ultimately incorporated in tn,
grand county comedy, has not as We
transpired. We withhold revelation a
this point. Further connected develop
mentS, now in our possession, will Be
published rs the play literally progresses,
Meanwhile we may say /: there is a mighty
muddle in the Sheriff's office. Jake and
Jack are nearly On the Punch and Judy
order but each is still automatically sub.
scribing himself yours, with distin.
guished consideration. etc., etc."
But Jack is probably "mas,er of the
situation" He says, in fact, that Jake
owes his election to him, and that he is
really entitled to half the proceeds of the
office; though he has only drawn his sal
airy of $3.50 a month ;-and the books Of
the office are neatly balanced.
There does not appear to be perfect
harmony in the Copperhead choir of
Storey county officers. More anon, read
ers;-we remaining every respectfully
etc., etc."