New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1866-06-14
Useful knowledge.
FAMILY INSTRUCTION AT THE nRnArrAsr rAB11

FAMILY INSTRUCTION AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE.
Punch remarks
Everybody ought to have partial, if unable to
obtain thorough knowledge, of the manufacture
of the ordinary articles of nourshment in daily
use among US. For instance, a lady should be
ready, at pinch, to make tart, pie bread
butter and other luXuries. A bachelor should be
handy with his needle and thread, and married
man should be able to do carpenters work dex-
terOusly.
In order to excite generous emulation among all
classes OF our readers, we will now proceed to
show the result of few examinations instituted
eXtemporaneously during meal-t times. Pater-fa-
nnlias, ii he IS well posted up in these matters
nlmselt--and he can :" cram" while shaving-will
lind these instructive breakfasts luncheons and
dinners the nearest thing to the classic symposia,
or the school of the ancient philosophers. The
attempt to introduce dish of instruction under a
cover OF any sort at breakfast is not entirely free
from some domestic difficulties as will be seen in
our first Breakfast Lecture on Butter. Us
Paterfamilias-Mary dear, give me some but
ter.
[Whle his daughter is engaged with the butter
knife, Patertamias commencesl
Pateramiiias-Yo know how butter is made
Mary readily, not wishing to be bothered oh,
yes, pa.
Brother Tom from school III bet she don't.
Paterfamilias eprovngy)-Tom You will
not " bet, and you will say " does not" instead
OF /" don't"
Brother (unabashed) Well, she doesn't, though,
Paterfamilias Ito Tom)-Then how is butter
Tom (triumphantIyl why from the COW, Of
course.
Mary tdepreciating her brother) That's very
clever.
Paterfami las Cumming into rhyme unconscious.
" l--ldade from the COW; yes. But how
Tom tnaking desperate hot)-Well the milk.
man goes and stirs it up in bowl; (sees Mary
laughing. To her)-yes tits. (COntemptuously. /
Well, you don't know. ag
Tor for 10, +,
again.
[ltsuddenly occurs to him that he has made :
grammatical error this time himself1
Tom Correcting himseli) DWELL, doesn't IT,
his sister) You doesn't know. -
Pateriamilias {mildly, feeling that he has bee,
ng)--When said yon mustn't use don't, h.
meant in certain instances, as for inst fcoT
reefs taatology and substitutes g example ''l--a
ior example you should say " you do not,n no
lyon don't;'' and he "dees not, not i" ht
doesn'tn (ls satisfied with his own explanation,
especially as he sees Mrs. Materfamilias drinking
IN ~. the it. words Of wisdom sently.) Now, how is
butter made, Mary2 lrs 5s4 s-s
Mary tpettishly) )-oh, from the COW, and churn-
Paterfamas Ito lien, aged sixteen, nearly two
years older than Mary.) What do you say, Helen
kten-Oh, papa, / don't know. (iAughs pleas
antiys) l reeolleet learning something about it
once. CGarelessly) Let me see; its cturned
and skinned, and put in Diary
Tom (comngin with new idea l--And baked
Mary (suddenly thinking she mas reeoheoted all
| about it)-And yon let It stand I'll it's cold.
Ian three are perfectly satisfied, and resume
their breakfastl .l.l
Paterfamlas beginning to feel little uncertain
as to his own facts) )--Upon my word, Margaret Ito
his wife) they ought to know these things.
Materfamias lin self.defense) )-Then, my dear,
why don't you tell theut?
Tom (sharply)-I say, papa, ma said don't.'
Raterfamilias demonstrating, with touching dig
nitb)-There. my dear, you really should be more
careful. You heard me just now telling
Materfamilias tpetuantly) oh, can't be both
cred with such trash.
Paterfamas tforeseeing that the value of his
authoritative instruction will be seriously in
jured) Trash My dear Margaret, it is necessary
that my children should talk good grammar, aud il
they hear as Tom did
MaterfamiIas (angriIy)-If Master Tom speaks
to his mamma in that way again he shall he
paehed of to school before the holidays are over.
IAt tais cheerful prospect Master T6ia becomes
Suddenly depressedl