The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1866-01-24
SOliIOquy Of a LOafer.


Let's see, where am 1? This is-coal
I'm lying on. Was coming up street-met
a wheebaTow-was drunk, comm ioiher
way-lhe wheelbarrow fell over me, or ]
over the wheelbarFow, and one OF Us fell
into the cellar-don't know which now
guess il must ha' been me- Pm a nice
young man yes am tight tore drunk !,
Well, can't help il-'taint my fault-won-
der whose fsclt his Is it jones' fault ?-
No. Is ii my wile's fauIt2 Well it amt
Is it the wheebarrow's fault? No. It's
whisky's fault. Who is whisky Has he a
large family =! All poor reckon. | think
WON'T own him any more. I'll cut his ac-
quaintance. Ive had that notion for about
Ten years, aud always hate TO do il for fear
of burting his feelings, PIl do it now.
think liquor is injurin me-it's spelling my
temper.
Sometimes | get mad when I'm drunk
and abuse Bets and The boys; ii used TO be
Lizzie and the children-thal's some time
ago. I'd come home o. eTeain's an she
put her arms around my neck an kiss me,
an call me her dear William. When |
come home now, she takes the pipe out of
her mouth an the hair OUT of her eyes, an
says somelhin' like - Bill, you drunken
brute, shut the door after you; we're cold
enough, havin' no fire, 'thout letting the
snow blow in that way" Yes, she's Bets,
ard Pm Bill, now. ain't good Bill, nuth-
er-won't pass-R tavern without goin' in
an getting drunk. Don't know what bank
I'm on. Last Saturday | was on The river
bank-drubk.
stay out pretty late; no, sometimes I'm
out all night; fact is, Pm Out pretty much
all over-out of friends, out of pocket, out
at the elbows and knees, and always outra-
geously diriy-so Bets says, bot then she's
no Judge, for she's never clean herself. l
wonder why she doesn't wear good clothes,
may be she hasn't got e'm whose faults
[ that ?-isn't mine-must be whisky's.
! Sometimes I'm in, however; Pm intoxi-
Gated now; and in somebody's coat cellar.
! There's one principle have got--I won't
] get in debt, | never could do it. There ,one
of my coat tails is gone, got tore of, ex-
/ pect, when ! fell in here. I'll have 10 get a
new suiI sooI. A fellow told me 'olber
! day that I'd make good sign for a paper
mill. IF he WASH I so big I'd kick him.
I've bad this shirt on for nine days, and
/ I'm elarid il won't come off without teariu.
People ought TO respect me more'n they
( do, for I'm in holey orders. | hain't a
! dandy, through my clothes are pretty near
Greasiean sly le. guess tore this window
shutter in my pants poiher night, when
sat down on the wax iE Ben Rugg's shop
I'll have 10 get il mended, or I'll catch cold
( ain'l very stout. As the boys say, Pm ia
as match and healthy as the smallp pox.-
My best hal is standing guard for window
pane that went out rolher morning at The
invitation Of bTick-bal It's getting colo
j down here-wonder if ain't able TO climb
If had drink could think. Let's see
ain't got three cents, if was in a tavern
could sponge one. Whenever anybod
treats and says. come feIlers, always thinl
my names 'fellers, and I've got 100 goo
manners TO refuse. Well, must leave thi
or they'll arrest me for an attempt al burg
larry. ] ain'tcome TO that yet. Anyhow.
was the wheelbarrow that die the harm
not me.