American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1866-04-04
WIT AND WISDOM.

on certain railroad says he never runs
ever man when hs can help it, because
''it muses. up the track So"
1t is calculated that the clergy cost
the United States twelve millions of dol
lars annually; the criminals, forty mil
lions; the lawyers, seventy millions rum,
/ two hundred millions
DIR. Gross, the justly celebrated sur
geon of Philadelphia, was once danger
ously ill. Shortly after his recovery, he
met one of his lady patients-they are
not always patient ladies-who remarked
to him:
ooh Doctor l rejoice to see that you
are out again; had we lost you, our good
people would have died by the dozen !"
THANK you, madam" replied the affa
BILE Doctor "but now, | fear, they will
die by the Gross t'
Our Charlie, being the youngest,
considers it his especial privilege to go
wherever his mother does and feels that
he has been deeply injured if she makes
visit without him. Forgetting this,
however, | one day called him to me
while l was reading the Bible, and said (:
"See here. Charlie, what Solomon says
about puaishing little boys The rod
and reproof bringeth wisdom, but child
left to himself bringeth his mother to
shame.
Overlooking the former part of the
verse, and recurring to his own particular
grievance Immediately, he turned the ta-
bles on me by exclaiming;
"Well, what does she ever leave him by
himself for then? 7"
A SoLoMoN.-It so happened that the
good citizens of Louisiana town elected
to the important position of Justice a
full set, lager-beer-shaped Dutchman-
just as stupid as he looked lie spoke
| French as well as German On certain
occasion two Fren chmen got into a quar-
rel, and after belaboring each ether pret-
ty soundly, resolved to settle the matter
by suit before our friend
"Well, now" said the Alderman, with
all the gravity of judge. chow will you
be tried ? by French law or United States
law 2"
Both being French, agreed to be tried
by the laws of France
"Well, now, Henri" said his Honor,
"you struck Jonas"
"Yes"
swell, now, Jonas, you struck Hen
ri"
"Yes."
"Well, then, you are both guilty, and
by French law fno you both FIVE dol
lars !"
The parties paid the fine, aad left poor
er if not wiser men.
Little Charlie Warning is thought
ful, soulful boy, who looks into your face,
out OF his great blue eyes, and Gays such
wonderful unaccountable things. Though
he is such little fellow, only eight years
old, still he goes to military shool One
day last summer he stood on his fathers
balcony at Amsterdam, looking at the
rainbow, and wondering what il was
Presently he went into the library and
said to his father:
"Papa, what is the rainbow ?"
al can not tell you now, Charlie" said
the father. II am reading"
But Charlie still stood looking very dis
appointed, and presently his father said /:
SAT some future time, when you will
understand it, l will tell you all about
itw
So he walked away, looking troubled
and thoughtful, and took his stand again
where he could see the beautiful bow,
now fading away in the evening sky
Suddenly a CLEAN of light came across
his face, as if some angel were whisper
ing to him, and he ran into the parlor
and said:
"Papa I've found out about the rain
bow; It's the angels out on dress parade"
The angels on dress paradel Who but
little innocent child would ever have
dreamed of any thing so sweet and beau
tifulf Why will we ever forget thep pres
ence Of the angels? Why ever forget
the presence Of the great God, Father Of
angels and Of men?
AN editor and his wife we're walking
out in the bright moonlight one evening.
Like all editors wives, size was of an
exceedingly poetic nature. and said to her
mate, "Notice that moon how bright,
and calm, and beautifully" "Couldn't
think Of noticing it for any less than the
usual ra.es-a dollar spd fifty. cents fol
twelve lines ~