The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1866-10-17

iuB sb1ss VIC usiUOs " s-I....isoS
ldeyoid Of human sympathy, determineq 2
to tell him on wint crrsnd W: oouna. !
said, In rs wheedling and ansinnaIlng :
manner as I could, and with On attemP. 70
appear jocose, which, think, was n'ghly
creditable to me under the circumstances;
i" Nv dear sir, the fact Is, between yon ana
me and the post, that am on my way 70
be married, and that 1t Is time LOT me 20 !,
he at church. Ha, ha! am sure need
not remind gentleman who Is no doubt q
fayorite of the sex that when lady's IN
| the case Ha. hal" rubbed my hands
in A manner intended to be expressive OF
perfect ease and cheerfulness, and again
rose to depart.
But my appeal did not produce the effect
had intended; for the barber started up
and waved the glittering razor in my lace
in such close proximity to my nose that l
dropped again into the chair.
And still the street remained quiet, the
dog lay basking in the sun, the horse SEEM
ed going to sleep outside the public house
door, scarcely anybody passed, and no
body came to be shaved.
After the barber had ground the china
ornament to powder, he again seated him.
self opposite to me.
"And you would really 60 to be married
with that beard unshaved"
"Well," said /, endeavoring to propltiatee
him, "well, don't know. / think not.
think wont be married at all, as the idea
seems disagreeable to YOU"
Disagreeable to me1 Quite the re-
verse;" he replied, with wave Of his
razor. cit will afford me the greatest
pleasure for you to be married; and I'll
20 to church with you, and while the cere-
mony is being performed will assist the
officiating clergyman by dancing horn
pipe on the top of the stceple That is
that is," he whispered in my ear, "D you
Survive the shaving"
but, my good sir" faltered, II can
90 without being shaved. Better for me to
be married without being shaved than to
be shaved without being married"
"Quite o mistake" cried the barber
quite mistake, assure you. Never
was there greater fallacy. Married with
that beard ? Perish the thought"
Throwing cloth over my shoulders he
at once began lathering away with prodi-
gious rapidity-lathering not only my chin,
but my checks, my nose, my ears, my
throat, my nostrils, my teeth, my forehead,
to the very roots of my hair. My eyes
alone he avoided, working around them
with as much care as if he were an artist
painting delicate picture.
Under this inhiction / saw the carriage
drive up to Julia's door, and presently
drive off again in the direction of the
church; while through its window saw a
fleeing vision oftwo white wells and white
waistcoat.
Two or three women came out of their
houses to look at the carriage, but other
wise the street remained quiet, the dog
still laying basking in the sun, the horse
kept on going to sleep outside the public
house door, scarcely anybody passed, and
nobody came to be shaved.
AT that moment | saw man walking on
the other side of the street. He looked at
the BARRIERS pole; he paused he passed
his hand over his chin; he was dirty
faced man. l could see, even from that
distance, that he had not been shaved for a
week surely, surely, he would come, and
| I should be rescued. lie crossed to our
side of the street, and stood outside the
window. He was coming! He paused
again. He put his hand into his pocket,
took out some pence, and looked at them.
He shook his head. He recrossed the
street, and went into the public house. l
suppose he spent his money in beer. Oh,
that horrid vice of intemperance
Still the barber lathered away, asthough
he would never cease, using the brush
now with the right hand, now with the left.
Another man stopped in the street and
looked at the BARRIERS pole /; he, too, pass
cd his hand over his chin. He was de-
cent, respectable looking man; had on a
cleanish shirt and an average hat. My
heart bounded with hope. Surely such a
respectable man would be particular
about his appearance. Surely such an ex-
emplary man would come to be shaved.
He, too, put his hand to his pocket, but in
stead of pence, he took out watch. lie
looked at his watch and seemed startled.
He shook his head and passed OH.
And so the dog still lay basking in the
sun, and the horse kept going to sleep out
side the inn door, and few people passed
by, and nobody came to be shaved.
| And still the barber kept lathering away
at me. felt as if the lather must be an
inch thick upon my face, and of the con-
sistency of clay. l became sick and faint
and there was buzzng noise in my ears
as if ! had been under water.
The barber did not resume the use of the
shaving he and his soap-suds
were pretty nearly exhausted-but he took
the razor and passed it once or twice over
the strop, and then, pulling handful OF
hairs from my head, tried the edge of the
blade upon one of them. The hair was
split, and the barber appeared satisfied
He raised his left hand and took hold of my
nose he held my nose much more tightly
than the exigencies Of the occasion re.
uuired he twisted my nose about in every
direction; he elongated and compressed
my nose as if it had been made of gutta-
percha. The pastime seemed to afford him
grim satisfaction. I forced myself TO grin
as though it were capital joke. At length
he ceased and advanced the razor. 1t was
a terrible moment. The barber stared al
me, and then again seated himself in the
chair, and said, in a more conversational
and easy tone than he had before used:
"Perhaps perhaps you think am
mad :"
This, If any, was time in which little
white fbbing was venial, and ! replied:
ooh dear no, my dear sir, quite the con:
trary-a little eccentric, perhaps" and
forced smile, "but nothing more."
ooh, if you did," said he, lightly and
arily, "you would not be the only one
Many have shared the delusion. Many
persons, themselves insane, have formed
that erroneous opinion. But woe to him.
and he braDdished the razor-"woe to hin
who does not instantly expel it from hi:
mind! You-you do not consider me mad