The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1866-12-27
N AR NY.
From the Toledo Blade.

]
| December 10Th, 1866.
heard, nearly two months ago that
my old friend, John Cutie, NV Mo-
0eel, he'd departed this life and gone To
| that other and better world where the
wicked Geese from troublin and tho
weery are at rest, and wuZ profoundly
! shocked. John Cutie wuZ my friend
and l much fear his like l ne'cr shall
look upon Rgiu. lie wuz II Democrat
NV the old SkOOl, one NV the few links
| wiCh renamed to connect the present
| generation with the past. Well do re-
member the g0llorious old man! How
often hev set i'll tho square room in
his country residence, aud drunk whis-
key and water with him till we neither
on us Good see IL hole thrO II forty foot
ladder how many times has he logged
niggerS for my umOOZoment, to show me
the proper way NV manRgiu NV en- and
how many times hez he lent me small
sums NV money, Varyin from five
| to thirty-Ono dollars, RkkOrdin to the
state NV mellernis he wuZ in when l
approached him on the delikit subjik
Alas poor John Cutie! Let not the
| skOtfer say that regret his death beCoZ
his sons will be apt to try and collect
the notes the old man departed holds
| NV mine! No! no! they know me too
we'll to waste any time on that. l
mourn becOz loved him and becOz NV
the misfOrtunes which druV him to
prematOor grave. \. Linkin is re-
SpOnsible for this dark shadder onto
my pathway. John Cutie he'd three
hundred niEgers on his plantasheus
and i'll his house in tOwn-these wuz
wrencht from him by the Proclamashen
and turned out from his pnternnl care
| to starve, witch the most NV en- are in
dustriOusly dOin Mt about So per day.
| He he'd em NV all hues-there wuZ the
full-blOOded black, the disgustin Mulat-
tnP I'm VNln 1Nn
| full Octoroon, and them which he'd so
nearly lost the Cuss NV Ham eZ to be
hardly diStinguishable from tho pure
Caucasian, and it WIZ noticeable that
| the nearly white nigGers on the Guttle-
seS plantashen wuZ all beautiful. The
mems OF manly beauty, and II probably
he'd its etleck upon the blacks. The
niger is initiative animal.
It wuz this Robin NV him NV his
! prOperty-thiS Overturnin NV the nor
mai Condishn NV thingS-wich killed
John Cutie. He never held up his
head after the ProClRmRshen, but faded
away like Il froStid flower!
! wuZ in Nobel last week on bisnis
connected with our college, lit wuZ so.
licitin funds to endOw my Professor
| ship,O and l felt that l Good not leave
the city without drOppin IL dozen teers
or SIGH into his grave. / felt eZ he he'd
Z
| to moisten my clay, that it would be
uuGeutlemanly not to do suthin toward
mOlStenin hiZZeu. And in pursuance
NV my resolve, l wendell my way sadly
TO the cemetery, and, hndin the tomb,
struck un RttitOod NV despair, and
leanin pensively onto the monument,
strove, to the best NV my ability, to
weep, but il wuZ a futile endeaVor. NV
eyes wOOdent give down. l strove TO
recall his virchoos, butsich is the week
ness NV human nucher that, whenever
his form rose in my memory, my mind
and my mouth would water to SIGH an
| extent eZ to monopollze all the moisture
| in my system. Good hev spit onto his
/ grave, but weep l Good not. Alas for
| poor humanity!
While wuz standin there tryin to
J weep, and maxim bad fist NV it, l
notist three beautiful young ladies APP
proachin, with baskits NV hOt-hOusc
flowers hangin onto their arms. l
| recognized EN- tO-wunSt. They wuZ
John Guttle's daughters, and they wuz
| n comm to strew flowers onto the grave
I NV their pRternal ancestor on their
fathers side. 1t wu% techin site, and
! feelin that l wuZ intrOOder, not bein
a blood relashun and only connected
| with the deceest by notes NV hand, |
withdrew short distants. Skasely
| he'd they got to the tomb, when from
the other side approached three more
ravishinly beautiful young ladies, with
| baskits NV hot-house flowers onto their
arms. The last ones resembled in IA
strikin manner the fust ones, ceptin
they wuZ shade darker, and their
hare waved bOOtiful, whereas the hare
Nv the fust wuz perfeckly strate.
The two parties faced each other on
opposite sides Nv the toOm, and party
Number One glared fierCely at party
Number Two.
"Lize! Flora! Janew sed the oldest
NV party Number One. 'Wat are 700
dOin here
SISTERS" sed the eldest NV party
Number Two, "we're here dischargin
tillyel doOty. Beneeth these SOD lies
the remains NV our father, and we are
gOin to strew these flowers onto his
toon. Jine us in the strew."
"FatEer?" shreeked the three NV
party Number One. "Yoor all niggers
and wuz servants unto
"Our half-sisIerS," sed the Spokesman
NV party number two, "but Linkin re-
moved the cuss NV Ham, and we're
I now free and heV ez much rite to strew
the grave NV our common parient,
wick wuZ John Cutie, eZ VOC. OH
| our sisters, our father wuz a good man
let us oedew his grave with our
| teers'-
"Wat impudenceW shrieked party
number one, all in korIous.
"1mpudence yoorselfw retorted par
| ty number two, gettin red in the face
I'VE are John Guttles's daughters per-
cisel y eZ much eZ 700, and the only ad.
vantage 700 hev over us is the article
NV mothers. Yoo three hev wun, witch
wuZ John GuttleseS wife, while we
three hev three-One apiece eggsackly
-wich wuz John GuttleSeS servants
but we can't, nevertheless stifle our
emOshuns. l shell command myself.
and thus perceed to perform a act Nv
fllyel dootY."
And she histed out the flowers and
commenst to stRew.
The luther wuns wuZ gettin hot.
! The eldest wun Good stand this impu-
dence no longer, and droppin her bas-
ket, went for her, followered by her
sisters. 1t wuZ n sperited conflict, and
lasted perhaps four minits, or until
parted 'em, when. they gathered them
selves together, and deParted-one
party went one way, and tother, tOther,
F'illYel love he'd done more in the
strewin biZnis than it sot out to do.
The six lOvin daughters Nv the deceast
John he'd not only strewed flowers onto
his grave, but hair, and collars; and
buZzum pins, and shreds NV silk, and
waterfalls, and cotton, and false teeth.
and pieces NV almost every thing witch
goes to make up the sum total NV fe-
male attire.
Ez gazed at the wreck and saw their
tattered forms vanish in the dim dis
lance, Good not help admiLtin that
when II come to strewin tho graves NV
deceest ancestors there wuz sum disad-
Vantages attendin the patriarkle sys-
tenn.
PETROLEUM V. NAsBY, P. NJ,
(Which is PostInaster), and likewise
Professor NV Biblikle Politicks in the
Southern Classikle & Military Insti-
tOot.