The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-01-19
SPARE LINES.
When is lover like tailor! When no
.,.,,.,s HE ,,,;t

When is lover like tailor! When no
presses bis suit.
Opportunities, like eggs, must be atcbcd
when they arc fresh.
There is no instance on record Of u castle in
tho air lacking ventilation.
What man wants--all he can get what
woman wantS-all she can't get.
In game Of cards good deal depends on
good playing, and good playing on good deal.
Boarding. .house lady" DO you like meat
rare, sir?" New lodger-"No, madame, l
like it thrco times day"
DR.. Aberncthy used to tell his pupils that
oil human diseases sprapg from two causca--
stuiIinS and lrettins.
Punch says that Yankee baby will crawl
out of his cradle, take survey OF il, invent an
improvement, and apply Tor n patent before hc
is six months old.
"Como till America, Pat" writes son Of
the Emerald Islo, to bis friend "' It's fno
country to get living In. All 20 have to do
is to get u thrco cornered box and carry il till
the top Of four story building, and the man
at the top does all the work ,"
wit says Washington Irving. 'is a mighty
tart, pungent ingredient, and much too acid for
some stVInachs; but honest good humor 10 tho
oil and wine Of merry meeting, and there Is
no jovial companionship equal to that where
the jokes are rather small and tho laughter
abundant
Spurgeon has love for his wife that is =" war.
ranted to wash" Thus he addresses her in
poetcal cpiste:
"The glowing colors surface laid
Wash cut In shower u rain
Thou neci.t not he Il rivers afraid,
For my love is dyed ingran."
Wagcs went to tho station OF one of our
railroads the other evening, and finding tho
best carriage full, said, IN low tone, "Why,
this carriage isn't going" OF course, these
words caused general stampede, and Wages
took tho best seat. The train sooh moved of
In the midst of the Indignation, the wag was
questioned, "You said this carriage wasn't
going?" "Well, 1t wasn't thcn," replied
Waggs; "but is now"
A vote was being taken on On important
measure in tho Indiana Senate tho other day.
Mr.-,a grave aud reverend Senator, had
not been attending to his business and didn't
know what the question was His name was
q moment, and then rapping the desk with his
knucklos, after the manner OF card playing,
said, Il pass! An audible litter ran through
the hall, and the president OF the senate took
it up
A gentleman was stroling along the quayc
at Liverpool. where he met a tall guant figure,
q " digger " from California, and got into con-
versation with him. " Healthy climate, sup
pose? I" Healthy PIT ISN'T anything elsc'
Why stranger, there you can choose any CT.
mate you like. hot or cold, aud that Without
travelling more than fifteen ninuter' just
think OF that the next cold morning when you
get out of bed. There s mountain 'hcrc,
With valley on each .ido OF II. tho one hot
and tho other cold. Well, get on top OF the
mountain. with double barrellcd gun and you
can, without moving, kill either summer or
winter game, jus. as you will :" What,
Lavs vo, ever tried III" "Tried IL, often;
and .6ould have dono pretty well, but for ono
thing: I wanted dog that would stand both
climates. Tho last dog that had lrosc of his
tail while pointin' on the summer side fIo
did Mt get entirely out Of the winter sido-you
sce--trew rs yc live"