The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1866-05-16
A DisbaMdcd Volunteer.

About as much quiet satire as could be
readily compressed into the space is EN-.
boGed in the following description of a
Cabinet meeting, in which the President is
supposed to have brought all of his "ad
visers" to book. and demanded a candid
expression Of their views concerning his
restoration policy.
Eddyturs Of the SUNDAY MERKARY:
NAYsHINAL HOTEL. Washington
May 3, 1866.
Andy johnson bein detarmind to asser
tain wot members of his Cabinet was willin
to go in for him, and that sich as wouldent
''go i'm should at wunst "go cut" axed
em all to define thar posishins last Nun
day. Accordin to report they all dun So
From wot ken larn he sulnmunt EN- to
an ofiishal pow WOW in the ushil form, and
then astonisht EN- by addresSin each Con.
stitooshinal Adviser in the subjined lacom-
ic terms.
Sir, air you in favor of my Recon
struckshin Pollysce or air you not I? Look
nle squar in the eye, face the mewsick, and
anser the queery catagorically yes or no ~
If my informashin is vorashus, the fol
lerin seen occurd:
Mr.. Seward was the first Adviser to
whoom the questin was popt. The Seca
try immedently rose from his seat, ran his
Left hand throo his rich auburn har, drew
hisself up to his full hight in deplowma
tick attitood, and perseeded to rcvew his
correspondence with the governments of
Europe from the time of the seeshur of
Mason and Slydell on bord the Trent to
tho date Of his last despatch tn Virnnor--
Hcving finisht this branch of the subjeck
in hand, he gin at great lenth his resins
for bclevin that our guvcrment was onder
no Constitooshinal obligashin to remooner
ate the British rebel simplethisers for the
funds they advanced to jeff Davis to carry
on the war agen the United States. He
then went on to cggsplain his selly ybratcd
speech about the onrepressablc conhick
atwixt the North and the South, remarkt
that the changes he had rung on his little
bell he'd been the deth nell Of the Demo
cratic party, and wound up by declarin
that he was Conseryervative to the back
bone and reddy to stand by al that Andy
Johnson had ever sed or dun, or ever mite
say or do, and to take his oath to that ef
feckt on Helpers Crysis. His speech oc
kapied one hour and sixteen minnits, doc
rim wich Welcs was obsarved to nod re
petcdly as if in token of aguesscence, but
it turnt out afterwards that he was dom
Scckatry Maccu'luck was next interrorgat
ed. who sed he he'd no specicous argymints
to offer that he considered President John
son sterling statesman, and that eff all the
rest Of mankind abandoned him he would
be proud to stand a loan in favor of his
meshurs. He thort the nayshina debt
should be funded at five per cent, but he
should support the interests of the Eggsec
kative without any discount
The Seckatry of War was third in or,
der. The President told him to look him
squar in the face, he sprang from his char
mayjestickly, and rcmovin the pebbels,
faced his Eggsellency with the naked eye,
witch, to use the wurds of Hamlet to his
mother, is an "eye like mas to thretten
and command" He then axed for a privit
interview with the President behind the
winder u,tins, witch Andy, with his ushil
condesenshin, granted. Wot took place
atween EN- behind the dammask is still a
disputed pint Wade swars that ne gin
the President the cold sholder, while the
uthers ses he ashoored him of his warmest
support. Ennyhow. they came forth from
the recess with mutchil smiles, and Stan
ton hes senst then sent orders to the mil
entary commanders not to try emmy more
civil persons by court marshil From this
circumstances, it is inferd by the onpred
jewdist that the Honabul Secktry hes cav
ed in. But time will show.
Welles haven been shaken up by Sew
ard, was next catakised. lie stared wildly
around him like man Jest recuvcrin from
the inhoocnce of glory form, and in reply
to the queery wether he went in for tn,
Presidents restorashin skeem, remark
that he was "ded agen the cut off" witcl
was conscderd satisfactory. Havin eggs
prest his views, he dropt off ontu dos,
agen.
1t was then Seckatry Harlan's turn t.
face the mewsick. He lookt little pail
but arter refreshin himself with glass o
cold water, he sed he blonged to the party
of CRATE moril idees, and couldent 60 it,
In his opinyon the only hope for the whit,
taash Of this kentry was in mixin tn,
rich warm blood Of the African will
theirn. AS long as niggeroes remained
poor and in subordinate condition, tn,
foolish pride of the Southerners mough
prevent EN- from marryin intu black fam
males, and he was tharfor in favor Of con
6scaten all the Southern plantashuns ant
publick lands and given EN- to the kullu,
race SOS to make thar darters eligibl,
matches for the pawper shivelry. He fel
sartin that ef this was dun THE youns
Southerners would be egur to we0 the dus
ky harnesses, in spite of thar woolly he'd
and black cutickles, and thus union, har
mony, and the clevashin Of the strait har,
race would be promoted. To this complex
shin it must cum at last. and the Seckatr,
thort the sumner it cum to it the better.
At this pint the President quietly inter
mated that he he'd he'd as mutch Consti
tooshnal advisin as he kcered about at wal
setting. and moved an adjournment, witcl
was Card, nobody but Harlan votin in tn
nigeratiye.
Dennison warnt presint. 1t seems Sum
ner had called Oh him with draft Of tn