The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1866-12-21


Youth of Kentucky, project Col
FrO" the Toledo Blade.
CoSFEDRTT X ROADS, \
| (w1ch is in the Stait nv Kentucky,
December 18th. 1866.
Square Gavitt, Deekin Pogram. Capt.
McPelter and myself wuZ in the Post
\ Oils last mite, wich, next to Bascom's,
hezgo to be the chief resort NV the lead
in intelleN Nv the Corners, a talkin over
matters and things, when the Deekin
happened to menshun that next week
his second son, Elijer, who hez intel
ieck into him, wuz goin to start for
| Michigan to enter a college.
"WatW sed /, "do you propose to
send that noble youth, Elijer Pogram,
to a Ablishn State, to enter Ablishn
college, to suck his knollege from II
| Abltshn source? Good Heavens! Fruil-
ty, thy name is woman.
IL hednt any lice that this last re-
| marx wuZ appropos, but it sounds we'll, /,
and hey notist that it don't make much
difference wat the cOtashun is so you
end "a remark with n cotnshun.1
The Deekin remarked that it wuz
painful, but the fact wuz Elijer must
hey edjucashun. He didn't bleeve in
ediucashen, generally speekin. The
common people wuZ better off without
1t, ez edjucashen he'd Il tendency to un-
settle their minds. He he'd seen the
evl! etteG Nv it in niggers and poor
whites. Soon ez n nigger masters the
| Spelltn book and gifts into noosepaperS,
he becomes dissatisfied with his con-
dishn, and bankers after a better cabin
and more wages. He to-wunst begins
/ to insist onto Ownin land hisself and
giv1n his children edjuCashen, and, eZ
nigEer, for our purposes, aiut worth
| a 500 mnrkee. Jes so with the Door
I Eru oil l1NR, al L.
instance. A poor cuss up toardS Gar
rittstoWn, named Ramsey, learnt to
read afore the war, and then commenSt
deterioratin. For two years he re-
foOzed to vote the Dimocratic ticket,
then he blossOmed out into Ablishnist
and tried to make the others NV his
class discontented by tellin NV em that
Slavery wuz wat Kept them down, and
finally, after pashense ceased to be II
virChOO, and we tnrred and fethered
him one night for IA incendiary, he went
to Injiany. That Cuss cum back here
doorin the late onpleasantnis, kernel
Nv regiment, wich he campt on my
farm and subsisted EN- off it. Sum ed
Jucashen is, however, nessary. L de-
sign Elijer for Congress. and he must
hev it. He's Il true Pogram, and nothin
will strike in wich kin hurt him.
why not" sez 1, "that the Southern
yooth may be properly trained, start a
COltePe Nv our own why Deekln,
run risks NV hevin the minds NV our
young men tainted with heresy2"
The entire company wuz struck with
the idea, and it wuZ earnestly canvass
ed. and finally decided upon; and 1
wuz depPytized to start it, wich 1 i'm
mejitly did. The name by wich the
new college is to be known is
'THE SOUTHERN CLASSIFIED, THEoLoG-
ICLE AND MILITARY INSTITOOT,
Nv CONFEDRIT x ROADS
(wich is in the Siait NV Kentucky.)
The College grounds is to comprise
one hundred akers taken from corners
NV the farms NV Deekin Pogram,
Square Gavitt and Capt. McPelter,
wich ground they sell the college, seein
it's for that purpose, for $500 per aker.
The faculty will be, eff we kin sekoor
ern, composed NV these trooly great
minds:
Genril Forrest, late G. s. A., Profess
sor NV Moral Philosophy.
Kernell Mosby, late c. S. A, Profess
sor NV Rhetoric and Bellies Lettres.
Capt. McGee, late G. S. A., lin COM
mand at Salisbury Professor NV Nat
ural Sciences.
Genril Mugruder, late C. s. A., Pro-
tessor NV watever is understood by them
ez is posted in college matters, ez Glass
les, wich 1 shell look up ez soon ez hev
time.
This is KILN two birds with one
stun. We not only pervide educashun
which is safe for our young men, but
we perVide comfortable places for the
heroes NV the late onpleasantniss.
In addition to these, Deekin Pogram,
Square Gavitt and myself, each pledged
ourselves to endow IL nPrOfessorship lin
the TheolOgikle Department, to be
known by our names, and We to hev
the appintin NV the Professors.
The POgram Chair NV Biblical Theol-
ogy will be offered to Henry Clay Dean,
NV Iowa, provided he will stipulate to
wash his feet wunst per quarter, and
change his shirt at least twice per an
mum.
The Gavitt Chair NV Biblical Litera-
toor will be offered to Rev. c. Chaun-
cey Burr, NV Moo York; and,
The Nasby Chair Nv Biblical Poll
ticks will be filled by Rev. Petroleum
Vesoovius Nasby, whose eminent fit
ness for the place is undispooted.
In the Scientific and ClassilSle De-
partments the text books will be keer-
fully revised and everything NV
Northern or leYlin tendency will be
scroopulously expergated. In the Tie
Ologikle Department speshl attenshun
will be given to the highly nessary
work NV preparin the stoodents for
comm out strong on the holinis NV
Slavery, and to this end the three years
course will be devotid thus:
1sb year-To the cuss NV Noer.
I'd year-To provin that the Afrikin
niger wuz RELY the descendants Nv
Ham. .ruJ
Sd year-Considerin the various texts
wich go to show that Afrikin slavery
is not only permitted by the skripters,
but especially enjoined.
1 shell myself, lectur from time to
time, on Ham, Hager and Onesimus,
that the bearins NV these individooals
upon our system may be fully under
stood, and also on sich subjects ez the
inflooense NV stimulatin floods upon
the human system, the cat-o'-nine-tails
ez a. evangelizer, and sich other topics
ez may from time to time sejest them
selves.
The young men confided to our care
will receive not only n solid collegiate
education, ez it is understood at the
North, but careful attention will be paid
to the accomplishments so necessary to
the troo Southern gentleman. They
will be taught draw poker, pitchin dol
lars, (real Spanish dollars will be pro-
vided for the purpose) spittin at mark,
revolver and bowie knife practice,
Tournaments ridin at rings, (real injy
rubber rings will be provided this'H be
extra, and Cat-o'-nine-tails. The NOR
ais Nv the stoodents will be scroOpu-
lously looked after. No card playin
will be allowed afore servis on Sunday,
and none whatever with the servants.
They will be taught to respeck them
selves