The Potter journal. [volume] (Coudersport, Pa.) 1857-1872, 1866-02-20
SOlilOquy OF a LOafer.

Let's see, where am l 2 This is--coal
I'm lying on. Was coming up street
met a Wheelbarrow-was drunk ; coming
t'other way-the wheelbarroW fell over
me, or over the wheelbarrow, and one
of us fell into the cellar-don't know
which now-guess it must ha' been me,
I'm nice young man; yes | am-tight J!
tore drunk Well, l can't help it
faint my fault-wonder whose fault It's
Is it Jones fault? No. Is it my wife's
fault? Well, it amt. Is it the wheel
barrow's fault? No. It's Whiskey's fault
Who is whiskey? Has he large family?
All poor, reckon. | think l won't own
him any more. I'll cut his acquaintance.
I've had that notion for about ten years,
and always hate to do it for fear of hurt
ing his feelings. III do it now. [ think
liquors. injurin' mc,-its spelling my
temper.
Sometimes I get mad when I'm drunk,
and abuse Bets and the boys; it used to
be Lizzie and the children-that's some
time ago. I'd come home o evenin's an
she'd put her arms around my neck an
kiss me, an call me her dear William.
When | comes now, she takes her pipe
out of her mouth, and her hair out of her
eyes, an says something like !: "Bill, you
drunken brute, shut the door after you
we're cold enough havln' no fire, 'thout
letting the snow blow in that way" Yes,
she's Bets, an I'm Bill, now. | amt a
good Bill, nuther, think III counter
felt won't pass-a tavern without goin
in an gettin' drunk. DON'T know what
bank. Last Saturday | was on the river
bank-drunk.
I stay out pretty late; DO, sometimes
I'm out all night; fact is, I'm out pretty
much all over, out of friends, out Of
pocket, out at the elbows and knees, and
always out-ragcously dirty-so Bets says;
but then she's no judge, for she's never
clean herself | wonder why she doesn't
wear good clothes. Maybe she hasn't
got 'em whose faults that isn't miDe
must be whiskey's.
Sometimes I'm in, however I'm intox-
icated now, aud in somebody's coal cellar,
There's one principle I've got-I won't
90 in debt; | never could do it. There,
one Of my coat tails is Gone-got tore off,
I expect, when | fell in here. I'll have
to get new suit soon. a fellow told me
'totber day that I'd make good sign for
a paper mill. If he wasn't SO big I'd
kick him. I've had this shirt on for nine
days, and I'm afraid it won't come of
without tearin'. People ought to respect
me more'n they do, for Pm in holey orders,
i amt dandy, though my clothes are
pretty pear GRESHAM style. guess Itore
this window shutter iu my pants t'othor
night when | sat down on the wax in
Ben Riggs shop; I'll have to get it
mended or-I'll catch cold. | amt
stout. As the boys say, I'm fat as a
match and as healthy as the small pox.
My best hat is standing guard for win
dow pane that went out t'other morning
at the invitation Of brick bat It's get
ting cold down here; I wonder if amt
able to climb If had drink could
think better. Let's see; l aiu tgot three
cents if was in a tavern | could sponge
one. Whenever anybody treats and says
"come fellers," l always think my names
"feller," and I've got too good manners
to refuse. Well, I must leave this, or
they'll arrest me for an attempt at bur
glary. I amt come to that yet. Any
how, it was the wheeibaUow that did the
harn-not me.