davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Des Arc citizen., 1866-11-03


 LACGHABLE BLUNDERs.--lt was my fortune once to be installed in the cdi- torial sanctum of a country newspaper during the absence of its regular editor. One day l was called upon to write the obituary of the belle of an adjacent town, who had died deeply lamented by the social circle of which she was the life and beauty. I wrote what I conceived to be an affecting tribute, and among other things, dwelt tender ly upon her dying injunction that no formal monument should be placed over her grave, but plain slab with the simple inscription, Mary" On reading the proof of my article, how ever, became doubtful of the correct ness of her Christian name, and hurfi- edly run my pencil through it as pre- liminary to correction. One of the townsfolll dropping in at that moment, assured me that the young girls name was Mary" and l accordingly dotted line below the erased word, writing in the margin of the proof the usual direction, ''Stet" Get it stand). 1 was, however, somewhat astonished the next morning on learning from the pa- per that the dying girl had requested, as last favor, that upon her tombstone should be placed ':the simple inscrip- ton, 'Stctv" It availed me nothing that I endeavored to explain to the in- dignant parents that the mistake, after all, was not so very bad. Many of the people believed that I had actually at tempted to improve the poor girls dy- ing injunction with my college lingo"
Des Arc citizen., 1866-11-03

Advertisers by the year will be restricted to their legitimate business
 Personal communications charged double the rates of regular advertisements.
 Legal advertisements will be charged, for one square or less, first insertion Sl, and 70 cents per square for each additional insertion Advertisements not ordered for 8 specified time, will be inserted till forbidden, and charged for accordingly.
 All advertising due after second insertion.
Des Arc citizen., 1866-11-03

Bsar''The times are so hard, I can scarcely keep my nose above water" said . husband to his wife who was inn portuniIfg him for new dress. ''No, she repiieck with some asperity, .but you manage to keep it above brandy easy enough.
 ge-"Sally, how do you like your new place is it q religious family?"
 "Wen, rather guess if is--they al- ways have beans on sunday.
Des Arc citizen., 1866-11-03

B'- Make yourself good man, and then you may be sure that there is one rascal less in the world.
 B@y- What kind of q plant does a duck of man" resembIe? Mandrake
Des Arc citizen., 1866-11-03

RAILROADS BUILDING RAIERoADs.--It
 was scarcely anticipated when such
 difficulties existed in raising the capi-
 tai stock of the first railroads ill the United States, that they would them
 selves become contractors and con-
 structors for their own extension. Yet
 such is the case. We noted the fact,
 a few days since, that the Pennsylva- mia Central had taken contract to build railroad from Cairo, via Little
 Rock to Fulton, and now we add the fact that ''the Illinois Central Railroad Company are discussing plans for a connection between the two lines of their road, about midway between
 Chicago and Centralia. One plan is for a road from Urbana, on the Chicago branch, to Decatur; another proposes to run from Paxton, on the Chicago
 branch, about midway between Urbana
 and Gilman, to Heyworth, on the same stem, about midway between Decatur and Bloomington; while another pro- poses to connect Bloomington with Kankakee.7 aIl
Des Arc citizen., 1866-11-03
Our Job Printing Department.

We have supplied ourselves with a good assortment of Printing Material and are ready to execute all kinds of Job Printing, on reasonable terms.
 We are prepared to print Pamphlets. Cata- Ioguos. Posters, large or small, Cards, Ball Tickets, Bill Heads, Blanks of every descrip- ton, for Clerks, Sheriffs, Justices of the Peace, Constables, Sc.
Des Arc citizen., 1866-11-03

*Father Abram Ryan, of Knoxville, author of the celebrated lines on the "Conquered Banner"
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1866-09-04
Sense and Nonsense.

The best way to curb wild young man is to
bridal him.
Punch says the needle gun is not threaded
with gun cotton.
This augurs well, as the musquito said when
ne settled on fat mans nose
When sorrow s'has left its traces. " what be-
comes OF the balance of the harness?
who is that with Miss Flint?' said a wag
to his companion. ooh, that is a spark which
she has struck -
The press and petticoats-the ruling powers
OF the day. The first spreads morals and the
last spreads considerably.
"Oh, Aunty, make Freddy behave himself,
every time hit him on the head with the NAL
let, he bursts right out cryingl
A female child has been born in La Crosse
with two perfect tongues IF she lives and
MARINES won't her husband catch it.
Why is young lady just from boarding
school, like a building committee? Because
she is prepared to receive proposals.
A West Virginia editor lets down on a deln-
quent, in this wise: eve could take the little
end of nothing, white it down to a point, punch
out the pith of horse hair, put in forty thous-
and such souls as his, shake them up, and they
would rattle p
A man stopping his paper, wrote to the edi-
tor thusly: Il think folkes ottent to take pa
purs, my dady, dident, and every body says he
was the most intelligentest man in the country,
en- he'd the smartest family of bois that ever
digged taturs."
The pompous epitaph of close-fsted citizen
closed with the following passage of scripture
He that giveth to the poor, lendeth to the
but when dat man died, the Lord didn't owe
him a red cent. F."
A little girl, after having been to church,
was very fond of preaching to her dolls Her
mother overheard her the other day reproving
one for being so wicked. ''Oh, you naughty,
sinful child, she said, shaking its waxen limbs,
''you'l IL just 60 to that place of birthstone and
molasses, and you wont burn up-you'H just
sizze.'
A man, newly married. being about to leave
home, said to his wife; 'Now, Julia, you may
do anything you please while am away, except
ride Jowler the house dog ride Jowler
What do you mean? 'Never mind, only
warn you not to ride Jowler." When the hus-
her arm in sling ''Why, Julia, what's the
matter?' "Well, you told me not to ride our
Jowler, and thought it must be very nice or
you wouldn't have told me not to do it, so got
on his back and he threw me down stairs.
The way words are divided when set to music
sometimes produces rather ludicrous effect
A stranger was once surprised on hearing a
congregation, mostly of women, crying out
''Oh for a man!
Oh for man
Oh for mansion in the skies. :"
Whilst on another occasion choir sang to
the best of their ability
well catch the fee
Well catch the flee
Well catch the fee-ting hours
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1866-09-04
4 UGUSTA FOUNDRY
~ and
MACHINE SH

~ and
MACHINE SHOP,
STANTON, VA.
The undersigned respectfully announce to the
public that they have their new establishment
complete and in full operation.
Having supplied themselves with the most inn
proved labor saving machinery, for working both
in wood and iron, and having secured the servi-
ces of the most experienced mechanics, they are
prepared to fill orders with guarantee of salts
faction in all cases, both to quality and price,
for CASTINGS and MACHINERY of every
description, including Cooking Stoves, Cane
Mills, Plow Castings, Saw Mills, Mill Gearing,
Forging, Cultivators, Harrows, Horse Powers,
Straw Cutters and ali other Machines used in ag-
ricuture. Plows of all sizes fitted up either with
cast wrought iron shares. Special attention
given to the repairing of old machinery. such as
Threshng Machines, Reapers, Mowers, Wheat
Drills sc.
Having determined to sell at very small ad-
vance upon the cost of production and being
obliged to pay the cash for all their machinery,
labor and material they are compelled to require
cash on delivery for all their manufactures. They
respectfully solicit share of public patronage.
The undersigned are also agents for the sale of
first class Northern made iron and wood working
Machinery, Stationary and Portable Steam En-
gines of any required power, Circular Saw Mills,
&c, which they will furnish at manufacturers
prices, freghts added. Persons wishing to buy
such machinery are requested to call and exam
inc price lists before purchasing elsewhere
APP A-tf ROBERTS, NELSON & co
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1866-09-04
Elegant Lying.

We have a compositor in our office who sets
from Is, 900 to 20, 600 ems per day, and thinks
that small days work.-Saadusky Register.
$4,000 to &c, 900 ems per day will do very
well for a Scrub We have compositor in
this Office who sets so fast that he has to employ
a boy to pour water on his elbow to keep the
friction from setting his shirt sleeve on fire.
Fact HaUerly Democrat.
Slow coaches both of them. We have COM
positor in this office, the friction of whose move
ment over the type In his stick fuses them solid,
like stereotype plate The only way to prevent
this is to have his case submerged in water, and
the rapidity of his motion keeps the water boil
ing and bubbling so that eggs have been fire.
ouently boiling in his space box. Pipes lead
from the bottom of his case to the boiler in the
press room, and the steam generated by our fast
COMMISSION motions runs our power press. In
one day he "set'' so much that it took all hands,
from editor to devil, two weeks to read proof,
and wasn't his good days setting neither
Lacrosse Democrat.
The last named paper takes the rag off the
bush" We venture to say those papers never
told lie in all their lives-Fsters6urg E:rpress
They may be s1ying." but truth is stranger
than fiction" We have compositor who has
only been in the office a few weeks, and such
is the rapidity of the motion of his arm in set
ting type that the electricity generated is suffi
cientto produce thunder storm, and the device
adopted to prevent his playing thunder" with
the Office is to have his arm connected with a
GOOD electrical conductor to a lightning rod
outside of the building. Whenever there is a
want of connection it begins to tlsssder, and SO
well is this known by the citizens that as soon
as they hear thunder they say the connection
between Jas. Crowl' arm and the lightning rod
has been broken. The Atlantic Telegraph Com
pany are anxious to get him to act as battery
for the Atlantic Cable. He does not seem to
think it anything to brag about-at least ne
never says word about it, This may be owing
to the, fact that he is mute, and is not IN the
habit Of speaking -Staueton Spectator.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1866-09-04
"IHe Spice Of LiJe."
CTOP A MOMENT

y LUX SHARP =
1t is unnecessary for the undersigned to make
many remarks about their always well selected
stock of notions and fancy articles, as they would
find some difficulty in an attempt to mention any
article in that line which they haven't got The
particular attention of the community is called
to our splendid stock of Shoes parasols and show
eretts, hats, linen andpaper window shades, hoop
skirts, trunks, floor and table oil cloths, and a
great many other articles too numerous to men
ton, which we have just received and are able
to sell as cheap if not less than any firm in this
community Call and examine.
June 5-3m HIRSH & LOEB.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1866-09-04
Me0LcOL.
VIRGINIA HEPATIC

n = ~
IL AND PURGATIVE PILLS are now dis
trlbuted over the State of Virginia, and in the
reach OF every. one. These Pills are acknowl-
edged by all who have used them to be superior
TO any ever offered to the people.
Nothing is claimed for them that we do not be-
lleVe TO be strictly true. For directions and dis
eases for which they are recommended and are
applicable. see circular and pamphlet around box
containing them. Manufactured by
WIN. REYNOLDS & co.
aug. I4-lyr Staunton, Va.
hfSPEPSIA.-Wha everybody says must
~ be true. We have heard DR.. Strickland
Tonic spoken of so frequently by those who have
been benefited by it, that at last we are compeii-
ed to make 1t known to the public that we really
beileve 1t effects cure in every case; therefore,
we say to those, who are suffering with Dyspepsia
or Nervous Debility, to go to their druggists and
get a bottle OF Dr. Stricklands Tonic
:. For sale by DR.. H. s. Eichelberger and P. II.
Trout and by druggists everywhere
TWO BAD CASES OF PILES CURED
il by DR. Strickland's PILE Remedy.-Mr.
Glass, of GAINESVILLE, Wisconsin, writes for the
benefit OF all who suffer with the Piles, that he
waited case Of Piles and his brother roth dse6srg
ed from the army as incurable The being quite
paralyzed with the Pies.] Both these distressing
cases were cured with one bottle Of DR.. Strick-
lands Pile Remedy The recommendation of
these gentlemen, beside the daily testimonials re-
ceiyed by DR.. Strickland, ought to convince those
suffering that the most aggravated chronic cases
of Piles are cured by DR.. Strickland's Pile Rem
edy. For sale by DR.. H. S. Eicheberger and P.
Fl. Trout, and by druggists everywhere
SUPERIOR REMEDY.-Weca can con-
IN scientiously recommend to those suffering
from distressing cough DR.. Strickland's Mel
lif1ous Cough Balsam is one of the best prepara-
tions in use, and is all that its proprietor claims
for it. We have tried it during the past week.
and found relief from a most distressing cough
1t is prepared by DR.. Strickland, No. 139 Syca-
more St, Cincinnati Ohio, and for sale by DR..
FL. S. Eichelberger, and P. H. Trout and by
druggists everywhere. march ID, '66-1y
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1866-09-04
A Mans A Man for a. that.
A NEW VERSION.

By Chds. Machey, in Blackwoods Magazine.
- mans a man." says Robert Burns,
For a that and a. that -
But though the song be clear and strong,
1t lacks a note for a that,
The lout who'd shirk his daily work,
! ct claim his wage and a that
Or beg when he might earn his bread,
Is not a man for a. that.
If all who dine on homely fare
were true and brave, and a that,
And none whose garb is holden greyn
as fool or knave, and a that
The voice and crime that shame our time
Would fade and fall and a that,
AND ploughmen be as good as kings,
And churls as earls, for a. that.
You see yon brawny, clustering sot.
VINO swaggers, swears and a. that,
And thinks because his strong right arm
Might fell an OK, and a. that,
That he's a noble, man for man,
As duke or lord, and a that;
Hes but brute, beyond dispute,
AND not man for a. that
man may own large estate,
nave palace, park, and a. that,
AND not for birth, but honest worth,
be thrice man for a. that:
AND Donald hording on the muir,
- w no beats his wife and a. that,
BE nothing but rascal boor.
NOR half a man for a. that
1t comes to this, dear Robert Burns
: The truth is old, and a. that
The rank is but the guinea stamp.
The mans the gold for a that y
AND though you'd put the minted mark
On copper, brass, and a. that
Inc lie Is gross, the cheat is plain,
And will not pass for a that.
For a that and a. that,
-, lis soul and heart and a. that.
That makes the king gentleman.
And not the crown and a. that
And nd man with man, if rich or poor,
The best is he, for a that,
Who stands erect in self.respect.
And acts the man for a. that.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1866-09-04
B. F. WEBB, superintendent.

This commodious and popular Hotel, long
known as the leading Hotel of the town, has been
Remodeled, Painted and Papered,
in the best style, and furnished with
NEW and ELEGANT FURNITURE,
now offers to its guests every comfort which the
best Hotels of the age can present.
Pleasantly located, in the midst of the business
portion of the town, and at the distance of 100
yards from the Railroad Depot it affords its guests
the double advantage of most convenient access
to the principal business houses and complete ex-
DUST, BUSTLE AND CONFUSION
incident to the arrival and departure Of trains
Especially are the guests of this house sure of a
quiet nights rest,
While the Proprietors do not rest their claims to
patronage on the past history of any members of
its firm but on the
CHARACTER OF THEIR HOTEL,
it is not improper to alude to the fact that one of
their irm-Colonel Charles S. Peyton-served
throughout the war, having commanded COM
pany at the first battle of Manassas, losing arm
at the second and being again wounded at Get
tysburg. Whatever claim to public patronage
may be reasonably founded on such facts, the
Virginia Hotel confidently presents
Those who wish the very best fare and accom-
modations, whether from the North or South,
and
QUIET NIGHTS RESTl
can find such comforts at the Virginia Hotel.
The Post Office, Adams Express Office and
Fine Billiard Saloon are in this build
ing; good Livery Stableis also con-
nected with the Hotel. Stages
on the various lines will take
passengers to this Hotel,
and call for them when
they wish to
leave
0nnnibusses to and from the Depot Freel
Connection with all Trains leaving town
guaranteed. ass
Having long experiences az iA3ottsa Msspers. the
Proprietors trust, with
& MODERATE CHARGES AND LIBERAL PoI.rcy
tn maintain the favorable reputation Of The
Old Virginia Hotel
GEORGE i. PEYTON & CO.,
1uiyto--u Proprietors.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1866-09-04
Fertilizers.
TlERuvIAN GUANO SUBSTITUTE

BAUGHS RAW BONE PHOSPHATE,
prepared in such a manner from pure Bone as to
act Immediately, producing large crops of
WHEAT, COTTON, TOBACCO, GRASS, etc,
and at the same time to retain the ever durable
properties of BONE thus permanently renova-
ting and improving the soil.
All that is asked is a trial alongside of any Fer
tlizer known and you will be perfectly satisfied
of its great value.
Prepared uniformly and in fine powder. suita-
BILE for drilling, packed in Barrels and Bags.
Containing SO per cent Phosphate of Lime.
400 ammonia.
GEORGE DUGDALE,
Manufacturers agent,
Nos. 81 and 105 Smiths Wharf,
BALTIMORE, ND.
GEoRGE E. PRICE, agent in Staunton;
w. W1THRow, Jr., :. " Waynesboro
aup 7-3rnO
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1866-09-04

HOO e & w T. ID ID e H IL IL n j,
successors to Fowle & Co.,
SHIPPING, FORWARDING,
COMMISSION MER CHANTS,
Foot Prince street,
ALEXANDRIA, VIRGINIA,
Dealers in and Importers of
all kinds of FERTILIZERS, including
No. Peruvian Guano,
Fowle & Co. IS Celebrated Soluble Phosphated
PERUVIAN GUANO;
w. Fl. Fowle, Bayne & Co., Manufacturers Of
Kettlewell's BONE DUST, and all other de-
scriptions in THIS MARKET.
LUMP PLASTER,
Ground Plaster IN Bull, Bags, or Barrel
Liverpool, Ground Alum, and Fine Salt.
POTOMAC & EASTERN FISH.
SUGAR HOUSE SYRUP, &c.
PROMPT ATTENTION
gicen to All Orders aohich zoe aoiU fill ut
LOWEST MARKET RATES.
HOOE & WEDDERBURN,
July 17-6m ALEXANDRIA, VA.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1866-09-04

OoiOncl w LILLIAN 0IILdAm,
{lss Professor Of Chemistry at the Virginia Mil
itary Institute,)
Chemist and Superintendent.
This company having placed in their works the
most modern and approved MACHINERY. will
furnish FERTILIZERS on an extensive scale,
compounded under the immediate supervision of
the eminent chemist named above
They propose to offer for sale:
PURE PERUVIAN GUANO
Warranted free from admixture,] ground and
pulyerized; thus avoiding for the farmer the ne
ces;lty OF -, breaking up the Jumps, and not only
uniformity and regularity in its application.
MANIPULATED GUANO,
composed of pure Peruvian and Phosphate Gu
ano in equal proportions finely ground and thor
OLD DOMINION GUANO,
composed of Peruvian and Phosphate Guano,
In coInbination with other ingredients, and con-
tanning four per cent. of ammonia.
PLASTER.
finely ground from the best Nova Scotia Lump.
None will be used not strictly adapted to agri-
cultural purposes
BONE DUST.
A large quantity of bones having been purchas-
ed, a constant supply of pure Bone Dust will be
kept hand.
This company commends itself to the patronage
OF the Southern agricultural community as q
HOME INSTITUTION, under the manage
HelI oi one practlcally acquainted with South
ern lands, and thoroughly competent to decide
upon the best agents for their permanent i'm
provement. Under his control the public have
assurance that nothing will be offered them that
is not of real and intrinsic value
The undersigned, composing the above COM
pany, offer their personal guarantee, in connec-
ton with Colonel Gillian, that their Fertilizers
shall be as represented.
Liberal arrangements will he made with COM
mission merchants and grocers, who are invited
to confer with the President (post-ofice box ga J.
JOHN ENDERS, President
w. B. ISAACS, Treasurer,
PALMER, HARTSOOK s. co.
A. Y. STOKES,
S. G. TARDY g. CO.,
MARTIN & CARDOZO,
DR.. j. E. CLAGGETT,
WILLIAM G. TAYLOR.
july 17-8t
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1866-09-04
ID URDETT'S PHOTOGRAPH
LID GALLERY,
Over Roane & Alloys clothing store, opposite
Virginia Hotel.

am now prepared to enlarge and color in oil,
water or Indian ink pictures ofevery description.
Those who have lost friends, can have pictures of
them copied from lockets, ambrotypes, daguerre-
types, &c, and made life or A size
l have now secured the valuable services ofour
Staunton artist, Mr. T. B. Coleman who has just
graduated in the art of Painting in the city of
New York. Specimens can be seen now in my
gallery. | am permanently located in Staunton,
and will spare no pains or expense to make my
gallery equal in every respect to any city gallery
am already prepared to make any style of pic
lures now in use.
One Of Stief's celebrated pianos will be found
in the Reception Room.
may 1T j. III. BURDETT.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1866-09-04
Fine Openst g.

i ~ DRUG BUSINESS
A young man, with sufficient capital of his own
can stand a chance of forming partnership with
one of the Leading Drug Houses in Staunton, by
applying early. None need apply but those of
moral and temperate habits.
Address box $50, Staunton, Va.
aug -3ts#-Rchmond Dispatch and Lynch
burg News copy three times and send bill to this
office.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1866-09-04
Printers Warehouse.

TUNfEE SOUTHERN TYPE
FOUNDRY,
PRINTERS FURNISHING WAREHO USE
ESTABLISHED 1860
Located in the
LAW BUILDINGS,
Franklin Street, corner 18th street,
RICHMOND, VA.
Our material warranted equal to any,
Our Prices equay as low
Also Agent for the sale of
PRINTING PRESSES
made by r. Hoe &Co,
George P. Gordon,
A. B. Taylor & Co., and Degener & WELLER.
H. l.. PELOUZE s. CO.,
may Oily Richmond. Va.
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1866-09-04
Banking Establishment.

DANKING DEPARTMENT OF THE
I'D VIRGINIA INSURANCE COMPANY.
This company, having banking privileges I'M
der its charter, has commenced business in the
Banking rooms of the late Central Bank of Va
in StauntOn.
Deposits will be received and accounts kept as
in other Banking institutions.
Collections made at all accessible points and
prompt returns made at the lowest rates.
Drafts furnished on the principal cities 4
Time paper purchased, negotiated or .'aaran-
teed.
Gold, Silver and Uncurrent mon heSaght and
sold
IT, s. Internal RevenHe Stain ea aAnd Tor
sale. VIM. ID. fans. rec anu
NAV 2q--6n Cashier
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1866-09-04
MEXICAN HOTEL. at the Denof of n.

MEKlCAN HOTEL. at the Depot of the
~ va central Railroad, Staunton, Virginia
1r uH Pso l.; UFERRALI ....-:;... Proprietor.
'hne accommodations to retain the reputation this
house has heretofore had, of being a first class
holsA October Sd, 1861
Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1866-09-04
TIN and Copper Hare.
MN. COPPER, AND SIEET-IRON

TENN, COPPER, AND SIIEET-IRON
WARE.-JOHN c. GROVE,
New street, above B. Crawford old stand,
will manufacture all kinds of WARE and will do
Roofing, Spouting and GATHERING
with the best material and rs low IS can be made
in Staunton. All work warranted. l would ask
merchants to give me call, as l think L can
make it to their interest to do so.
Produce taken i'll exchange for work
july 10-6m JOHN O. GROVE