Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-07-18
a Funny story-Parlsiaa e6sslp.
Paris. Nav. 1866

PARIS, May, 1866
We are laughing over an adventure into
which an amorous shoemaker fell. He was
not content with the one wife he had taken,
but he must needs go poaching on his neigh
bor's bed. His neighbor's wife, annoyed by
his declarations, told her husband. The lat
ter replied I'VE will punish him." They
put their heads together to devise some suit
able punishment The evening after this
family consultation, the amorous shoemaker
who lived Immediately opposite the house
painter, whose wife he so'loved) seeing the
/ husband absent called on the wife. He
was in higher spirits than ever; be bought
an enormous nosegay, made entirely Of ros-
! es, and was as full of compliments as be
could be. The wife said 70 him, in reply to
question: My husband is gone to st. Ger
main to recover a debt of some 200f The
Shoemaker was delighted at the prospect Of
spending the whole evening with her. Two
hours flew away in the most delightful con-
7ersadon. He pressed her to yield: she re-
fused. At last she said MY greatest OBJ
lection to you is the horrible odor Of leather
which all shoemakers have. Take bath in
my husbands bathing tub, and perhaps, af-
ter you smell like other people, I viii not be
as obstinate IS you say am" The shoe
maker hesitsted. He dreaded foul play, but
talnt heart never won fair lady-he undress-
ed and soon in the BATH He had not been
IN It more than ive minutes when loud, quick
knocking was heard at the door. The wife
screamed " Non Disul There is my hus-
band ! What will become Of us2" The
shoemaker was frightened out of his wits,
his teeth chattered his knees knocked TO-
gether, be was utterly bewildered with fright
Come into this wardrobe, quick exclaimed
the wife. He obeyed instantly. The wife
opened the door,; the husband entered in a
towering fury and violently threw his cap on
the floor, exclaiming ." Accused trip ! /
have not brought one cent back with me to
pay the note for 20Of due tomorrow. I
never IN my life was in such bad luck as I
am now. Give me something to eatl am
halt dead with hunger and thirst" The wife !
replied, in her softest, gentlest tone. Here |
IS some cold meat bread and wine, dear"
The husband seized two knives on the table !
and sharpened them against each other in
manner which must have made the Door
blood run cold as he crouched in !
the wardrobe naked, wet, shivering with fear |
and cold, nearer dead than alive. "Wiie."
continued the husband, Il must sell the |
wardrobe tomorrow. My friend the shoe
maker over the way has long been wanting |
to buy It. l viii carry it to him tomorrow !
morning." As the husband spoke, up to the |
wardrobe, aud, after rafting the key for some
time 10 the lock, as if he could not turn it
all which were new terrors to the poor am !
orous shoemaker, who, doubtless vowed it |
ever he got safely out of this scrape. he !
would let other mems wives alone. After !
supper husband and vile went to bed.
The next morning at nine O'Clock the hus- |
band went out to get four porters, They |
took the wardrobe and carried It over to |
the shoemaker's. The husband found the |
family in a state of the greatest
The shoemaker could be found /
nowhere; the warmest apprehensions were |
entertained OF his fate; his family we're in
earS. 4Ee husband was unable to relieve
heir anxiety; he had neither seen nor heard
If his friend. The shoemaker's wife accept
ID the wardrobe, (Which she knew her hus-
'and had long desired to purchase and when
he house painter gave her the key she op-
med the door to examine the conditions of
Ter purchase. The instant the door opened
naked man with hair-on end, covered with 1
ed, bounded forth, knocking down the wife l.
leF screams, the terror OF the pOrteTS and
be apprentices, were dreadful Meanwhile, 4
be naked red man, evidently beside himself :
an wildly about the shop; his wife, porters 7
nd apprentices few at him with whatever u
ley could lay their hands on, and gave him &
sound drubbing, until he recovered his SEN il
IS sufficiently to discover himself. The
ouse-painter had prepared the bath with
rye quantity Of glue, and had lhickly dust
/ the inside of the wardrobe with powd- c
ed ochre, which had been transferred to
Ie poor shoemakers body during his nights
while the glue getting into his st
lir and drying, made his hair seem to stand hi
/ END. When the shoemaker's wife found g,
1t all these things, she took broom-stick pt
ID belabored her husband thoroughly. nj
An immense crowd was assembled in front til
their door (they lived in the Rue St. An pl
ine), and the poor shoemaker has become
ashamed he has not since this occurrence
red to show his face in the street.