The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1866-08-02
An Awkward Predicament.

| Over in Missouri lives a Mrs. Hemp
dale, who has, or had daughter named
Laura, who, loved man named jack
This man Jack she didn't like, but she
was Informed by C neighbor that Jack
and Laura had arranged a plan of elope-
ment Her mind was quickly made up.
She announced to Laura the next morn
ing that she was going to Belleville on a
visit, to be gone three days, and that she
must be good girl and not tear the house
down while she was gone.
That night Jack knew of it, and as ne
read the nice little note that bade him
"como over early and stay until mother
comes back, and what splendid time we
will have" he smiled, knocked the ashes
off from his cigar and resolved "of course
he would"
Jack went over, but there is no earthly
use in our attempting to describe the de-
lectable things he enjoyed; it was sugar
season on that plantation, sure. Just be-
fore dusk, while Jack was running over
full of the glory of the occasion, in rushes
Miss Laura's black waiting woman,
with
"Lor bress my black soul, chin, eff
yero aint ole missus right at the gate,-
sure! !'
"My God Dinah, what shall we do
with Jack?"
"Pop i'm in dat are closet, dar, Miss
Laura p and Jack was popped into the
closet in a twinkling.
! In stalked the old lady, and after
sharply scrutinizing the disconnected and
blushing countenance of Laura, felt sure
that Jack had been there.
"Come here, Laura. Now you can't
deceive me. That abominable Plaine has
been here, and you and ho have fixed up
a runaway match, to come off tonight.
Oh, you little thing, you, after your
bringing up, to treat me SO. But you'll
find your mother is no fool. You'll find
that she's too sharp for you, my lady
Sooner than you should marry that mis-
cradle Jack Plaine, I'd see you laid in
your grave Hes not going to squander
my money, 1 assure you.
The old lady rose, and going to clothes
press returned with several comforters
and a pillow, and walking up to the
closet where Jack was concealed, threw
them in with firt, and turning to the
trembling Laura, said:
"Now, march in here, miss; step
along! I'll see that you don't get no
where near that low-fung mechanic this
night~
Laura whispered and protested that
she didn't want to, declaring that her
mother would be "sorry for this some
time"
But without paying any attention to
her protestations, her mother gave her q
push, shut the door, locked it, and tri-
umphantly put the key in herpocket, and
in due time went to bed. Pretty carly in
the morning the old lady arose, and with
out waiting to- dress, fshed the key out
of her pocket, and opening the closet door
to bid Laura to come forth, gazed wildly
for one instant, and then uttered pierc-
ing scream. Recovering very speedily,
she started away from the door and
called family:
"Laura, Laura, dear! go into the
kitchen and see about the breakfast ~-
Then presently-"Jack, say Jack ?"
Jack came forth with very son-in-law-
looking air, and answered.
"Well, madam, what is it"
"Jack, do you know anything about a
farm ?"
"Not to speak Of, marm."
"You can read, and write, and cypher,
l suppose ?"
"Nothing to brag OF, marm."
"Well, at any rate, Jack, think that
after breakfast you and Laura may as
we'll go down to the city and get married,
for Pm tired of watching you, that's a
fact"
STOLE HIM, BUT DIDN'T EAT H1M.-The
<Jnn,c4o ro1o+oc Tho fo11or,