The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1866-12-11
Josh Billings ON Counting.

Gourting is a aluxury,..it is ise water, il
| is the play spell of the sole. The mar
who has never courted has lived in vain
he has been blind man among land
scapes, and water-scapes, be has been q
def man in the land of head-organs. and
|by the side of murmuring canawls,-
Curtin IL like two little springs ov wa
ter that start out from under rock al
the foot of mountain,s and runs~d down
hill side by side, singing and dancing
land scattering each other, eddying and
frotking and haskadfng, now hiding IN,
der the bank, now full Of shadder, TIL
1 lbymeby tina jine, and then they go slow
/ am in favor of long courtips; it gives
.he parties chance to ind cut each
uther's trump cards. It il good exer.
else, and il just az innocent az2 merinc
lambs. e N
Courting is like Strawberries and cream
wants to be did slow, then you get the
flavor. have seen folks get acquainted
fall in love, git married, settle down, and
git tu work, in three weeks from date
This il jist the way some folks larn {
trade-akounts for the great number o
almighty mean mechanicks and the poor
ljobs tha turn out.
Perhaps it is best to, if I should state
some good advice to young men who are
about to court with view to matrimony
as it was.
| In the fust place, young man, you
want to git your system awl rite, and
then find a woman who is willing to be
courted on the square.
The next thing is to find out how old
she IL, which you kin dew by askin' her,
and she will sa she is 10 years old, and
this you will find won't be far from out
of the way.
The next best thing il to begin mod
crate; sa once every mite in the week fur
the fust six months, increasin' the dose
az the pashent seems tew require.
1t il fust rate way to court the girls
mother lettle on the start, for there IL
one thing woman never despices, and
that il lettle good courtin'. if it is done
on the square. After the fust year you
will git acquainted and will begin tu like
the business. @
There il l thing always advice, and
that is not to swop fortygraffs oftener
than once in every 10 daze, unless you
forget how the gal locks.
Occasionally you want to Look sorry
and draw in your wind as tho you had
pain; this will set the girl tu teezing you
tu find out what ails you.
Evening meetings are a good thing tc
tend. 1t will keep your religion in tune
and if your gal happens to be there, by
accident, she kan ask you to 60 home with
her.
AS general thing I wouldn't brag on
other gals much when I was courtin'. Il
might look as though you knua toe
much.
IF you will court three weeks in this
wa, all the time on the square, if you don't
say it is the sleekest time in your life,yo
can go to the "Yung America cheeI
stoar and get measured for a plug hat al
my expense and pa for it.
Don't court for money, nor buty, nol
relashuns! Those things are just about al
the kerosene lie lere6ning Dizziness, liable
tew git out of repair and bust at emmy
mint. Court gal for fun, for tho luz
you bear her, for the virtue and Dizziness
there il in her; court her for wife o.
for a mother-court her az you woult
court farm for the sile, and the perfeck
shun of the title, court her az tho sht
want fule and yu an other, court her il
the kitchen, over the wash tub and at th,
pianner, court this way young man, ant
Eifyou don't git wife, the fault won't bt
lin the courtin' h sfsa
Young man, you kan rely on Josiel
Billings, and if you kant make thes'
rules work, jist send fur him, and he viii
show yu how the thing IL did--it shan't
cost YOU sent.
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