Delaware gazette. [volume] (Delaware, Ohio) 1855-1886, 1866-11-30

An old gentleman who was living
with his sixth wife, and who had
always been noted for the ease with
which he managed his spouses, on be-
ing asked to communicate his secret, It
is the simplest thing in the world. IF
YOU want to use a woman up, just let
/ her have her own way In every thing
! all the time. There never was a "
man born who could survive that d
great while"
Job printing /" exclaimed an old
woman the other day, as she peeped
! over her spectacles at the advertising
mage of a country paDer. "POOr Job I
| they've kept him printing, week after
week. ever since / first larnt to read
and If he wasn't the most patientest
man chat ever was he never could have
stood it so long, nohow."
Why is your nose in the middle Of
your face? Because it's a scenter.
Extraordinary as it may appear, a
piece of brown paper folded and placed
between the upper lip and the
gum will stop bleeding of the nose.
Try it.
A traveller at a Pennsylvania hotel
got ont of his bed one night 10 see
what sort of weather it was. but instead
Of looking out upon the sky, thrust his
head through the glass window Of
cupboard. Landlord" shouted the
guest. what sort Of weather do you
call this. the night is as dark as Egypt
and smells Of cheeseP
The Rev. Mr.. A-was more en-
inent In his day for the brilliancy of
his imagination than the force of his
logic. At one time he was preaching
on THE Ministration of Angels. " and
in the peroratiOn he suddenly observed
Il hear a whisper I" The change Of
tone started the deacon, who sat below,
from drOwsy mood, and springing TO
his feet he spoke ST guess IL is the
boys in the gallery"
A gentleman one day said to lady,
near whom he was seated:
Why is a woman like a mirror ?"
she gave it up.
Because, " said the rude fellow, "a
mirror reflects without speaking; a
woman speaks without rejecting"
Very good, said she. Now an
swer me: Why is a man unlike a mir
ror."
s'I cannot tell you"
Because the mirror is polished, and
the man is not
A young Officer wore a tremendous
pair of mustaches. on which a friend
said
MY dear fellow, now the war is over
why don't you put your mustaches on
the peace establishment ?"
Had you not better put your tongue
on the civil list 2" was the prompt and
happy retort
Jean, jester to Charles TX, once
tried his masters nerve by rushing
into his room one morning with the
exclamation
"Oh, sire, such news-f0ur thous
and men have risen in the city I"
~ hat cried the startled king
with what intention have they ris
en- 2"
"Woll, said jean, placing his fnge,
upon his nose, probably with tht
intention Of lying down again at bed1
time,
Molly once related to her youniI
mistress a most marvellous dream shg
had had the night before.
Pooh pooh :" cried the latter at its.
conclusion; you must have beeld
asleep, Molly, when you dreamed sue.
nonsense.
Indeed, was not, then, replie5a
the indignant Molly; ST was Just d
wide awake as I am this minute"
A lady, meeting a girl who had latef-
left her service, inquired, We'll, Mar
where do you live noW2' Pleas,
ma am, don't live any where now, re-
piled the girl, " I'm married.
A miserly old farmer who had loi
one of his best hands in the midst
hay-making. remarked to the sextOat
as he was filling up the grave Tau
a sad thing TO lose a good mower at
time like this but, after all, po0or
Tom was a great eater.