Cleveland daily leader. [volume] ([Cleveland, Ohio]) 1865-1873, 1866-04-05
JOSH BILLINGS.
JOsh's LeefurIng Raid Through she
state of Maine.

1 have Just returned from the State o1
Maine.
Iwent through the Stait endways.
That IL tew saw, from top tew bottom.
l lektured as | went.
Hike the inhabitants. ~
Everybody works in the Static o
Maine.
Gentlemen of l~eizzure there are called
l%oafers.
Main IL bounded just now as follows
On the north by the land of the deserters
on the east by Asia, on the South by tn,
CRATE Atlantic saltwater privilege, on tn,
west by the Rocky Mountains.
The best p~roduckshins of the Stait il
men and wimmen. The wimmen hay
more indigenous hair on their heads thar
you kan find in the whole ov the Middle
States.
Everybody goes tew bed in the Stait oy
Main at 9 o'clock P. NJ.
L lektured at Gardiner-at 9 o'clock the
a%ujence aroze all tew onst, and, bidding
me a fond fairwell, said it wuz bed tim
1 took the hint and stopt lekturing.
Bangor has something less than one
hundred thousand inhabitants (about Is
thousand less, j belief)
Bangor amt the capital ov the Stait al
present. 1t haz the best tavern stand in
the Staff. 1t is called the Bangor
House." and is kept bi Shaw.
He and l are cousins, by marriage, 1--WE
both married femails
Shaw IL a McClelland man, he has got
a boss with that name ov the male per-
swashun who il a CRATE deal faster than
the General that he was named after
waz.
l lektured in Bangor.
The thermometer was 10 degrees less
than zero, and the spectators couldn't
absorb the lektur. The morning paper
said "sum liked the lektur and sum
didn't,n-this put me in mind Of the para
bic in the Bible, about the 10 virgins, they
waz effected in the same way, ) waz wise
and 5 waz otherwise.
The churches ia Bangor in their outside
appearance are a kOmplimeut tew the
cauze, and 1 hewitt emmy doubt the stock
holders are all ov them 4th proof.
| waz taken around the town bi Mr..
Shaw, (my c%ousin) in a delikate rig, pulled
bi 10000 dollars worth ov natural trotting
property.
Bangor aud its pleasant people are NOR
ticed into mi buzzum,-they are tenants
there for life. If 1 ever go there again I
shant fail to see them.
l also lecktured in Lewiston, to a gush-
ing house. Some ov the a%ujenee was etfec-
ted with tears. The Editor ov the next
days paper gave me a very hattering no
tise,-a collum and 3 hall, containing my
whole lektur.
Ed. Sands, (unkle to the CRATE sassapa-
rilla root Sands was mi right bower,
while l was in the State ov Main.
He IL the general agent for the whole
State. 1 kan recommend him tew emmy
young lady who wants tew get d hus-
band who will be useful to her; or he
would make a tip top seckund husband
for a wilder who handn't had a fair shake
the fust time. He belongs to the temper
anee society.
I also lektured in Dexter, an inland
town, about 10 hundred miles in a west
erly direkshun, from the sitty of London.
/ gave a free lektur, and tew mi sur
prise l had q full house. The hat waz
showed round at the close ov the servisses
and about 300 dollars more or less) waz
The place waz named after the celebra-
ted trotting boss Dexter. Dexter kan
trct lin privste) in 2.O6. l will bet so
dollars ov it, land L amt worth a sent tew
betj owing to a natural weakness.
l likewise lektured at Augustus, the
ov the Stait, and bad a full house
-ov benches. This waz owing tew a mis-
understandingness about the weather.
This people offered tew turn out if
would find umbrellers, but we split on the
unbrellers.
1 could not dew miself ~justiss at Au-
There want but one lady present
in the hall, and me and the a%uience was
lwl the time looking at her.
What an awful State of things it would
be if the wimmen and the ladys should
iyl be taken out ov this world, tew their
up in the skiz5! Wooden dolls
would advance 3 foot in a week.