The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1866-09-19
n,.s 1 ~ ->rxn putchmen. who hnilt |

and uscd in common small bridge over
a stream which ran through their farms,
had dispute concerning some repairs
which II required, and one Of them posi-
lively refused to bear any portion of the
expense necessary to the purchase Of O
few planks. Finally, the aggrieved party
went to neighboring lawyer, and placing
ten dollars in his hand, said:
"I'll give you all dish moneys IL you'll
make Hans do justice init dc BRIDGE"
GLOW much will it cost to repair it -
asked the honest lawyer.
"Not more ash five tollar," replied the
Dutchman.
every we'll" said the lawyer, pocketing
one of the notes and giving him the other :
stake this and 60 get the bridge repaired !;
it's the best course you can take"
"Yaas." said the Dutchman slowly,
"yaas. dat ish more better as to quarrel
nit Hans :" but as he went along home he
shook his head frequently, as if unable,
after all, TO see quite clearly how he had
gained anything by going to law. "a.
RAILWAY OrFICIAL.-You'd better not
smoke, sir.
Traveller.-That's what my friends say.
Railway Oflicial.-Buty you mustn't sn.o kc,
sir.
Travellcr.-So my doctor tells me.
Railway Official Indignantly But y.u
shant smoke, sir.
Travcller.-Ah just what my wife a-yS.
Will the .Iourndl please keep quiet 4bout
the Maine election. We are busy.-BoS-
ton Post.
Certainly. We would not intrudc ON
those who are in Northumberland.
That's right we'll do as much for you
in the course of month or so.-BOSton
Post.
The Mayor of Nancy is an intelligent iudi-
vidual. On the occasion of the recent visit
of the Empress Eugene, with her son, the
Mayor asked the Prince Imperial: "WLat
is your age, my Prince?" 81 ain ten,"
answered the Prince. $50 young, and al
ready the son of the Emperor of the
French exclaimed the Mayor with great
emphasis.
If we believe the Paris writers,
Napoleon III. has the inhammatory rheu-
matism, diabetes, dyspepsia, Bright's dis
case, Smiths disease, sciatic govt, aurora
borealis, integral calculus, and several
other things; he was also almost poisoned
at Vichy; but he manages to survive all,
even Bismarck's dose of PrusSic acid.
Post-otiice clerks occasionally get of a
funny thing. A clerk in our post office
heard tap at the window of the ladies'
department, when who should he find
there but q man by the name of Drake.
"Mr. Drake" said the clerk, evil you
please to go to the other side this depart
ment is for the ducks"
Physicians advise us to drink less at our
meals. Better adyice-drink less between
meals.
1t is well, says the Nashville Banner,
that the Radical Convention secured the
services of Anna Dickinson. A strong
minded woman was certainly needed
among so many weak-minded men.
An artist invited a gentleman to criti-
else portrait of a Mr.. Smith who was
somewhat addicted to drink. Putting his
hand towards it, the artist exclaimed :
"Don't touch it, it is not dry" "Then,"
said he, ait cannot be like my friend
Smith,"
A prudent man advised his drunken SER
want to put by bis money for rainy day.
In a few weeks the master inquired how
much of his wages he had saved.
"Faith, none at all, said he, Kit raincd
Yesterday, and it all went"
So common has become the shooting of
ministers in Missouri, it is now regarded as
a branch of sporting. In Cooper county,
the other day, stranger in search of
game was answered, "Not much, sir, but
there's the preacher coming overthe hill"
off there is anybody under the CAMS
ter of Heaven that have in utter cXcres-
cence,' says Mrs. Darlington, it is the
slandcrer going about like boy construc-
tor circulating his calomel upon honest
folks"
GA clergyman Of twenty seven years
standing" writes letter to the Lon
don Advertiser. One would think he might
have sat down once or twice during that
period.
Gardeners mind their peas, actors mind
their cues, but church wardcns, instead
of minding their cps" and "q's," very
often give their attention to their pews
and keys.
A warped pane of glass in Baltimore
shop window, acting as convex lens, con-
centrated the suns rays upon pile Of
combustible material, and set it on fire.