The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1866-05-03
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

ike NcpcIdDlCS lbOSC tIIdL tulu ulf
little reddish.
Patience; virtue which some
people think every ono wants but
themselves.
Hon Hicster Clymcr has resigned
his scat in the State Senate
How many an onamored pair have
courted in poetry aud lived in prose.
- " oman An essay on grace, in
one volume, elegantly bound.
Gentlemau.--A manual of good man
ners, bound in cloth.
"A dyspeptic man thinks more Of
himself in a week than well person
does in year.
Nous brains ought to work very
smoothly now, they have 50 much oil
on them,
Why should volunteers especially
dislike the letter 7? Because it turns
rifles into triics.
Some one says that going to law j.
mighty cold business; for all you ever
get is but justice, and sometimes you
don't get that.
"A man makoth WHY face over a
gill of whskey, but he taketh down
gill of whiskey without a twist OF his
snout,
- Why is au offer ike matrimonial
engagement Because it begius with
an offer and ends with q ring,
- Why is a tree when being diyested
of its leaves, like a tree in the fulness Of
fruit? Because it is barring.
A man must have a very bad opin-
ion of himself not to appear what he
really is.
An Englishman being asked how
he spelt saloon, replied" With q
hess, hay, he'll, two hoes and hem
1t is not enough that you are
praised by the good you have failed
somewhere in your duty if you are not
cursed by the bad.
"A man who rctires from business
and lives on the interest of his money
may be said to be resting on his overs.
In marriage the heart of widow
is like a furnished apartment, where
r one is apt to find something left there
r by former lodger.
Never tread on the tail of cat, or
tell woman she is not handsome, uu-
less you are fond of music.
A Misnomer Calling a certain
neither garment between five and six
i feet in diameter, "pctty coat"
Nothing makes the earth so copa-
cous as to have friends at distance
e they make the latitudes and longtudcs.
, The orator who "carried " away his
audience is earnestly requested to
bring it back, by persons who had
o friends present.
Or None ever have been SO good and
he so great, or hayc raised thcmselve so
De high as to be above the reach Of trouble.
= IF man rcapcth whatsoever he
= seweth, what 4 harvest of coats and
a. brecchcs our tai!Ors will have one of
d these days
ey "A Western editor, putting IN cx.
On press company, says; Anything in.
en- trusted to its care will go through
lc. straight" How about corkscrews
he Josh Billings said the other night
es that good way Tor a man to train up a
lot child in the way it should 60 vas tl
in travel that way occasionally himself.
cir One principal point of good breed
us ing is to suit our behaviour to the thrc
IN several degrees Of men-.our supcriors
on' our equals, aud those below US,
, ,es The man everybody likes is gcncr
s'S ally fool The man nobody likes i
-no generally a knavo. The man who ha
D friends who would die for him. and foe.
who woad love him broiled alive, is us
10 ually a man of some worth and force.
70 Everybody knows instrumentation
pol, reverence the Queen pays to Prime
IDS, Albert's memory. One day after Lor
Gus Palmerston had exhausted voice an
at reason in a vain attempt to bring her I
md his way of thinking, which she resiste
rty because my poor Albert thought $
TO-. and So" his lordship exclaimed "B
the Joye, It's a hard thing to argue again.
the a live prince; to argue against a dca
to prince is a thing impossible,
the An exchange says a good joh
be. told of an ex officer who figured IN th
any confederate army 10 the extent of tire
to wreathed stars on his collar, 4 lrieu
any remarked to him on the street that
'ent heard so and so said Of him, and wishg
,ses to know if it was a truthful statemeu
and "We.l, ifa negro told you that, he
fery simply mistaken; but sir, if il was
god whie mau, b. il I i Lar,