Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1866-11-22

my interior, there was noticed All old CO.
lored man standing outside, and he was
asked, Say, uncle, why don't you 60 in?
'Ah, my master says he, 'Ah, Lord, l
see trouble enough on top of the earth;
don't 90 in dat hole a searching arter mise
ry.' 5etasu2
A wag entered store in London some
years ago, which had for its sign THE
Two Baboons,' and addressing himself to
the proprietor, said So ets,
i wish to see your partner .e. ~,
I have no partner, sir
I beg your pardon, sir, and hope you
will excuse the mistake q. si4'E
20, there's no harm done, but. what
made you think there were two of us? tas
Your sign-'lhe Two Balloons.
SALT FOR SORE THEoAT.-Proba badly
nine-tenths Of all the threatened and actual
sore threats arising from colds may be cur
ed or entirely prevented by the practice Of
gargling the throat regularly every morn
ing with clear cold brine made pretty
strong There is nothing unpleasant in
the application, and as the season Of wet
weather and sudden cold catching will soon
be with us, it will be well for farmers and
all others who work out doors in the wet
to test the merits Of salt water.
Are you an Odd Fellow ? asked Jake.
No, sir; have been married more than
e week
I mean, do you belong TO the order. of
Odd FellowsY
No, belong to the order of married
men, fat8
Mercy how dull ! Are you Mason?
No; I'm a carpenter +..o sr.
Worse aud worse! Are you Son OF
Temperament
No; I'm a son of Mr. Gosliag,S 4 '-"'
The Agricultural Department at Wash
ington has reliable reports from various
sections of the country, which establish the
fact, Notwithstanding the recent heavy
rains and early frosts, who shall have this
fall the largest corn crop ever produced IN
America. With wheat and other grain
generally, the remark will be found equal
" applicable, says the same authority. SO
A F1xrD IDEA.-Some writer has said
that fixed idea is sort OF gimlet-eyery
year gives it another turn. To pull it out
the first year is like the plucking out the
hair by the roots; in the second year, like
tearing the skin; in the third like break
inc the bones; and i'll the fourth, like re-
moving the very brain itself. 3a u.i
SELFrsHNEss RBBUKED, poor old
man busily planting an apple tree was
rUdely asked: ~
What do you plant trees for? you can
not expect to eat the fruit of theha.'
He raised himself up, and answered: q
Some one planted trees before L was
born, and have eaten the frait | now
plant for others, to show my gratitude
when I am dead
A Partisan editor was asked where he
GOT all his news He replied, from the
newspaper. s'Where do the newspapers
get it 2" "From other newspapers.0-
But who is the first author of it = mos
body"
One of our exchanges says q printer, on
his death bed, being desired to be ''comr
posed" family said, ." You mean distribut-
ed )" his thoughts wandering, perhaps, q
mong the ~
Among all the gluttons who disgrace AID
disturb human society those are the mean
est who feed upon SANDER.
It is said that Gen. Beauregard's han
changed from gray to a beautiful black
white he was in Europe.
How to arrive at the height of a church
steeple, when the sun pours down his hot
rays: Per-spire.
Gen. Wood writes to Washington that
the cotton grown in Mississippi will not
pay for the capital invested.
| Frederick Douglass, it is said, has rent
ed house in Alexandria, and is aboutsto
start paper there. ad
A wag tells of landlady who made her
tea so weak that it couldn't get up the
spout of the teapot
The coin now in the u. S. Treasury is
! 81, 600, 900, and the coin certificates near
/ y $21, col, 900.