Wilmington journal., 1866-08-09

man and Phil, in his agitation, upset his coe
fee scalding the cats back and himself at the SAM
time. D40
"The deuce /" cried he, rubbing his red fnoo..
with his handkerchief. IT wish I'd never see, -
woman |"
"What's that sir ?"
"Confound the women They're curse to tbe
world {" " 'ne
"You brute !" cried Mrs. Hayes, now th,.
oughly incensed-' take that |" and seizipp H.
plate of mullins she took aim at Phil's head br.
being woman, her aim was not so accurate as il
might have been, and the plate went thronoL
the window smashing in the new tile Of Fitz
James Jones, who passing and tlN mnf
fins were scattered in wild confusion about tho
room.
Phil was indignant. He laid his hand on tbo
poker.
began:
"Oh, strike - exclaimed Fanny, cit will only
be in peace with your other conduct. Don't l.f
any no ions of honor restrain you because YOU
never had any"
-"Fanny, beware you may try me too far"
/ ''Tll go home to pa, that will. You inhumap
monster, you r." I'll be divorced from You tins
very day. So there r' and the platter Of ham
made journey after the mullins
Just at that moment Phils uncle John 81
shrewd old fellow, appeared on the scene H.
surveyed the group with an anxious twinkle Of
the eye
.What's the matter, Fanny? Anything gone
wrong Z! he inquired.
: Gone wrong Matter Eenough Oh. Uncle
John, he's wretch, and he set out to strike me
with poker"
"And she threw plate of mullins and the ham
at me 2!
"He's monster Uncle John I'll be divorced
from him this very day. He's worse than
savage ~
$50 he is," cried Uncle John, entering warmly
into the spirit of the thing $50 he is'-stlir
ping off his coat" and I'll settle the matter at
"a thrashing hell be likely to remember
Striking his wife with poker, indeed I'll rec
tify matters ;" and Uncle John grasped the long.
handled feather duster and foulished it threat
eningly around the head of his nephew.
"There, sir, take that and that and that -
exclaimed he, bringing down the feathers on the
shoulders of the amazed Phil "Fanny, NV
dear, I'll not leave bone of him whole"
Fanny's round blue eyes had been growing
larger and larger-and now her indignation burst
John Hays! !! screamed shpi; "you're hpa
then, and old meddling vagabond. Let Phil
alone He's my DEAR dear husband and you've
no business to touch him. He's an angel He
never intended to strike Be-still striking him
or you'll be sorry p and Fanny selzed the broom
from behind the door and IL jared to do battle
Stand back p cried Upcle John, hes mon.
ster and deserves death. The man would threat
en- to strike a woman ought to be hung.
Fannys eyes blazed-she flew at Uncle John
with the spite of tigress, and the way the trio
Uncle John after Phil. with the duster and Fanny
after Uncle John with the broom.
Phil. made a spring for the window, but there
whatnot in the way and getting his legs en-
tangled in that, he brought the whole concern to
the floor ambrotypes, books, vases, china, and
hundred cherished curiosites, were involved in
direct ruin
Phil. went down with the other things, Uncle
John stumbled over him, and Fanny only saved
herself by seizing the bell-cord which brought
her two servants speedily on the spor
Of course they took Phil. aid Uncle for house
breakers, and if Fanny's explanation had not been
enforced by sundry touches of her broomstick
the consequences might have been serious.
The first moment OF calm was seized upon By
the young couple to embrace each other.
'My angel Fanny %
-"My precious Phil - and then followed a series
of explosions like the bursting of series of beer
bottles.
And Uncle John left the house during this in.
teresting performance, still firmly Of the opinion
that the surest way Of reconciling wife to her
husband is to geta third person to help her abuse
him,