Smyrna times., 1866-04-11
Reflections on Matrimonyi
BY AN OLD BACHELOR.

Such hath ever been the stupidity of man
kind that they could never fully appropriate
the experience of their predecessors, and learn
wisdom from the misfortunes of others; but
they must continually be traversing the circle
of the same follies which have caused the
ruin of generation after generation of others
before them and of their cotemporaries around
them. Thus human nature is still performing
the same antics it performed two thousand
years ago; fattered by the same antiquated
compliments. seduced by the same ancient de-
vices, and cherishing the same old-fashioned
delusions that have been exposed again and
again by the poets, philosophers, historians
and divines of every successive age. Theworld
does not grow one whit the wiser as it grows
older, and by the united confession of every
constituent part of it, is one of the most incor-
rigible, stupid old fools that was ever heard or
read Of
What is true of the whole is true of individ-
uals. The boy, despite the best lecturing, will
not appropriate the wisdom of the old man, al
though he would save a great deal of time by
it. On the contrary, he smust arrive at the
same results by the same means: be first curl
Gus, then positive, then wild, then forcible by
degrees, temperate-when vice and energy ex-
pire together, and he atones for the past follies
OF his own actual career by the speculative wis
dom which he doles out without stint for the
DeueuC VI OGuerS. OO IL Is Ou GulS SuUjeCC OI
MARRIAGE; and being so, do not fear, in all
my severity of experienced bachelorship, to
animadvert upon it to the consolation Of all we'll
seasoned right and tight old-bachelor souls,
not doubling that however candidly the true
state of the case may be exposed, there will
still be fools enough in the world to maintain
the necessary succession of the species.
The old gentleman with whom have taken
rooms is one who claims to belong to the fra
ternity of old bachelors, but without any right
or title. [ disown and disclaim him. He is
not at heart for instead of maintaining his po-
sition like a soldier, and conducting himself
toward the fair sex like gallant, he has era
ven spirit, and sneaking and luxurious tend
ency toward the domestic atmosphere of the
kitchen and the nursery. have been unable
to cure my friend of his unfortunate delusion
1t is particularly prevalent and pOwerfulo O. Sat
urday nights, for which period he reserves the
miscellaneous mending which the wear and
tear Of this rude world makes periodically ne
cessary. On these occasions, having taken off
his coat, and adjusted it with great formality
on the two back posts Of an old-fashioned chair
ian heirloom attached to the mansion we in
habit), giving a deep sigh he brushes parting
stroke on the back, to divest it of what he fan
cies a slight accumulation of dust, but discov-
ers to be threadbare dinginess; he then places
his shade over his brows, displays his work
upon his lap with the g housewife" at his side,
and prepares for his task. Before beginning,
however, he gives a side-long glance at the fire,
deposits his needle temporarily in his left hand,
and taking the scissors in his right, prepares
to give proper disposition to his candles, and
gently to clip their wicks This is the moment
when my mouth always involuntarily opens to
receive his soliloquy. Drawing a sigh far deep
er than that which the trace Of Times finger
on his once very respectable coat called forth,
he begins:
''Oh, how 1 do wish-I had nice little wife
to do these things for Inc -
1t moves me at once, for | compassionate
the man, and [ can never permit his regrets to
proceed further. My dear Mr.. c." ]
interpose, s. if you had wife you would have
te designate to her from time to time what you
wished to have done, and then, perhaps, al
the very moment you wished to put the gar
ment in requisition, you would find it in an
unwearable state Why, my dear, you would
say, this is not mended yet NO she would
doubtless reply, i forgot it But have re-
minded you of it, love, three or four times
We'll, | have had other things to attend to-
L should think you might have an eye to these
little things for me; it's but very little ! ask.
] Well, will tell you what it is, Mr.. C.,
she adds, growing warm, If you married M
for nothing else but to attend to your olt
breeches, and mending of shirts, and sewini
on of buttons, can tell you what it is. yol
are very much mistaken: you think l hav
nothing else to take case of but your old clothes
You don't consider how much / have to at
tend to in - And here, unable to contain
yourself any longer, you would be very apt
interrupt her by saying, We'll, my dear, if yo
won't scold, III do it myself j would rathe
do anything than hear You scold.' And so,
4 II aHA
find yourself with your clothes to mead, and
wife to provide for in the bargain. Now
Richard, pursuing my advantage in familia
tone, "What rational object would you propos
to yourself in getting wife2" - l-s.-7 (,
"Oh, / should be so happy I should lik
"For all the world the plea Of child beg
ging bauble of its parents land ton to on
the child gets whipped for his obstinate sole
f tations, while you, not whit the less deser'
ing, and without his youth for your excuse
But to leave our friend: admit that if a
were perfect, perhaps the most intimate soci
. union we could form would be the most hal
! nv; but with the ordinary amount OF huma
infrmitv about us, it seems much better
9 sEIet well enough alone, and the part OF trl
: nyactical wisdom to, prefer the known lncony
riiences of our present condition, which we ~
q ly appreciate, yet lind very toieiapie, W =
Q uncertain annoyances Of domestic reyoluIio
> To some, / can well imagine the marriage sta
to be desirable--to an old bachelor, with
s. ney but without friends, for example. de m
). as well purchase friends in this way as Al
other; and If, as is quite likely, he marries
- poor girl, instead of one he may obtain q doz
very eager aud sociable friends by the bargal
Indeed, young man with a fortune that sat
, fies his wisnes may q great deal better mar
than not. He must have some annoyance
imaginary or real OF the two, | should de
dedly prefer the latter; and of the latter, p
haps as agreeable one as any is-a wife.
But how inconsiderately are unions OF q
De kind usually formed Not one of the qui
ties which fit the parties for it are the Diet
mining motives TO the contract. A wifi
beauty, which Is the chief attraction befi
marriage, like handsome furniture, becon
common by habit; her drawing-room acco
~ plishments are without their use in the dom
% tic apartments her wit finds no subject