Lamoille newsdealer. [volume] (Hyde Park, Vt.) 1860-1877, 1866-02-28
A PUNNING PARSON.


Many years ago, there dwelt in the
good town Of Lynn, Mass :. a worthy lnin-
is,er who was, nevertheless, fond of a
good joke, in which he would often in
dulge to the great amusement, if not to
the edi6cation of his parishioners We
have heard numerous anecdotes of his &C.
centritices from the der members of his
fraternity one or two Of which we are
strongly disposed to chronicle
One of bis neighbors Was one morning
passing his house with new cart, which
he had just purchased. when the minister
thus accosted him: well. neighbor Chad,
bourne, you have fine new cart there |
but how is this 1t seems to me that
one of the wheels is all o one si'le -
"Well, declare" said the farmer, II did
not know that :" HeSdrove OH, but all
day he was perplexed with the idea of the
bad bargain he had male. When he re-
turned atenight. he stopped at the minis
ter's and slid-"Well, Parson, believe
| shall carry my cart home to the maker.
as one of the wheels is all O one side !"
why. where would you have it." said
the minister. "if not on one side ~
The parson was one day holding forth
in grave style, f.r the edifcation of his
people, and expounding the abtruse
points of his creed, when, suddenly rails
ing his eyes from the manuscript, he OBJ.
served that large portion of his people
were gravely aud comfortably reposing
their heads upon folded arms on the rest
ing boards OF their pews. This was moth
ing new to the observation of the worthy
minister; on the contrary, he had observ-
ed the same listless appearance of his con-
gregations so often, that he resolved. if
possible to arouse them TO sense of the
respect which they owed to the day, the
occasion and the speaker. Accordingly.
looking round upon his people with Ill the
conscious dignity and Importance of an
extempore preacher, suddenly iaboring
, with the birth of a new idea, he exclaim.
ed-"If should guess, | should suess
that two. thirds of you were asleep |" An
eccentric genius among the congregation,
who had often amused the people by his
jokes and facctious humor, at the expense
of the scntions parsou, raised his head de-
liberately from its quiet restlng-place,
and in the very sa ue tone and manner in
which the grave minister had uttered his
conjecture, replied-"If should guess,
| should guess there was not more than
one half !"
The whole house was suddenly electri.
ied-as if q thunder clap had shook the
steeplc-a loud laugh instantly re echoed
from every pew and gallery. which. in ut.
ter forgetfulness of the time and place
was repeated so loud and so often, that il
was long before the parson could resume
his discouesc and even when the bene
diction fell uDon their ears-which th'
offended dignitary was half disposed moi
to pronounce--thc reply of Martin wa.
ringing in their ears; and as the ecod
man was vending his way to his lonely
abode the ond laugh of the more hnmor
Gus part Of his parishoners come pcal'nl
Mt intervals upon his ears-and even II
his slumhers 6endish glec seemed din
ming around him, aud breaking his hal
lcwej rcpose. All this was more thar
the iritated spirit could bear. and accord
ingly in the morning at an early hour
he was seen upon the door step of 'Squir
Carnes, rousing the justice from hi1 eur
taned sleep" to obtain redress for hi
wounded dignity. The justice arrange'
his famous wig. which was many year
afterwards at the sale of hie estate, sol'
to a peighboripg farmer. who used it fo
n hens nest-and came forth to greet hi
guest The good squire had himsel