The Weekly Perrysburg journal. [volume] (Perrysburg, O. [Ohio]) 1861-1???, 1866-12-07


gave instructions to his "clerk 10 plant
the staff frst az one spot, and then qt an
other, q portion Of the fshing-rod being
used for snoh purpose. Hook then further
condescended to explain to the little man
the exact course the canal would take-de
soribing how it would require corner Of
the observatory to be sacrificed, and where
the eDlbouohuie was TO be made.
The what, sir r." said the agitated lis.
tener. fAf
"Thc mouth. sir-the entrances to the ca.
nal from the river" replied tho active sur.
veyor. The perplexed owner now began,
to hustle about, apparently uneasy, aud
anxious TO concliate this man Of power,
who told him that when ho had made him
self aud his clerk masters Of the whole
scope and capabilities Of the land, ho and
the friends who accompanied him meant to
take their refreshments ia some commo-
djous part of tho grouads, to which he sup
posed thoro would be no objection.
This was not to DO allowed by the now
truly complaisaat gentleman. Oh no, he
could not think of letting the party romain
out of doors /; he begged they would all
four do him the pleasure Of taking refresh
ment within. Himself aud his family had
dined, Il was true, but something should be
prepared for them, and he entreated they
would not refuse him the pleasure OF being
their entertainer. They regretted very
much, but time was precious they must
hurriedly partaSe OF what they had brought
with them, and then return home to com
plete the plans The invitation was most
pressingly repeatod; the refreshment should
be ready immediately--jt was not too late.
The two officials" now anxiously com
pared watches, and then reluctantly admit
ted that they might spare half an hour.
But" said Hook, he was never more
panied than with the duty be had
at present TO perform; and alas! it was no
use to talk the matter over-there could be
no deviation from the plan-hone whatever" "
Accordingly, as soon as tho survey was
| completed it did not occupy much
longer tme-the intruders followed their
hospitable host into his house aud while
the servants we're busily engaged prepar
ing the best il contained for these uneX-
pected guests, they were presented in form
to the lady of the mansion and her daugh
ters. aud the cause of their arrival was ex
planned.
The hateful canal business was of course
the topic Of conversation. The head official
thought it pity no to break mp gentle
mans grounds but private considerations
must necessarily give place to public con-
venience," ETC., to all OF which remarns the
unlncky owner gave q faint assent.
Refreshments were now announced as
being ready iu the dining room, and thither
the guests proceeded. attended obsequious-
ly by their nattered host. One by on", the
ladies' ere long joined them, anxious, TO
doubt, to learn the extent of the threatened
calamity. All soon became calm. The man
of business talked largely of his power and
influence with those by whom he was EN-.
poved, and hpted pretty freely that he
coul turn the canal in any direction he
| liked. The fine old Madeira was speedily
disposed of. as was also the pink cham.
pagne, "a present from my lord mayor"
| The host. by the by, was himself civic
magistrate, a doughty alderman and then
the discussion of half dozen of claret wax
very influential in causing the al lermans
arguments to become more and more
weighty. Really, this business must be
reconsidered. One bottle more. dear gen
tleman." At length Hook admitted that
the hospitality" of his new friend and
"the amiabllty of his family" had so
wrought upon his sympathies as to have
led him to the conclusion that lit would
he shameful to disturb so much comfort and
good taste by such process, and there
fore he shoul look out for some other way
of accomplishing the intents his directors
had in view.
By this time it was getting dark, and the
excursionists had to retrace the river for
eight miles before they would reach Lon.
don. They were just on the point of risirg
to depart, when Hook burst forth into a
song, and narrated in extempore verse the
whole transaction, winding up with
"And we greatly approve OF your fare,
And your cellars as prime as your cook;
And this clerk here is Matthews the player,
And my name, sir, is-Theodore Hook"
That name was already enough to put
any wig in the civic chambers at Guildhal
out of curl. s.H
But the crown and consummation of all
Hooks waggeries was the (" Berners street
Hoax" perpertrated November 26, 1910.
Walking down the street one day, with q
companion, the latter called Theodore's at.
tention to the particularly neat aud modest
appearance of house, the residence, as was
inferred from the door plate, of some decent
shopkeers window-it was No. "a, occupied
by Mrs. T., lady of fortune.
lay you guinea j" said Hook that in
one week that nice, qniet dwelling shall be
tile most famous III all LOnuOH.
The bet was taken. In the course OF four
or five days Theodore had written and de-
spatched one thousand letters, conveying
orders to tradesmen of every sort, and resi-
dent in every part of the great metropolis
all to be executed on the particular day
above named, aud as nearly as possible at
one fixed hour From "wagons of Goals
and potatoes, 10 books, prints. feathers,
ices, iellies and cranberry tarts," nothing in.
any way, whatever available to any human
being bat was commanded from scores OF
rival dealers.
To that year, Berners street was not ap
proachable otherwise than through com
plicated series of narrow lanes thus it may
be feebly aud af,r-Olf guessed what the
crash and Jam, and tumuh of that day was
The Lord Mayor arrived in his carriage,
but as he found the street already in an up
roar. his stay was only shorts and he was
driven off TO neighboring police.ofhce,
where he Informed the sitting magistrate
that lie had received q note, purPorting To
cume from Mrs. T., which stated that she
had been summoned TO appear before him,
but that she was confined TO her room by
sickness and requested hts iordship would
do her the favor to call On her. Besides
coffin, which was brought to the house.
made to measure, agreeably to letter. five
feet six by sixteen, and which indicated that
human being had left tho world, tooth
drawers, miniature painters aud artists,
were also among tho throngI An immense
crowd OF lauslil 6 spectators was soon col
lected, VINO seemed TO enjoy the joke, and
! ieeringly received the dupes as they drew