The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1866-05-17
Scraps, Facts and Fancies.

-
kissed him to coax a gold watch out of
him.
"A Philadelphia paper remarks I" one
half of the Postnasters recently appointed
in the Southern States are women"
- If o draft of five hundred dollars re-
auires two cent revenue stamp, how
much will a draught Of ale require
- An Irishman was challenged to fight
a duel, but declined on the plea that he
did not wish to leave his ould mother an
orphan.
A Negroes speaking Of her children,
said of one winter than the rest, /" she
could not bar dat ar chile, kase ne show
dirt so easy"
"A widow out West married a man to
whom she refused her daughter, because,
she said, her first husband was an ugly
critter, and she Ind learned how to man
age such cattle. Kind mother.
:. = A female correspondent ola st. LOU
is paper, speaks of sight she saw lately
that made her smack her lips. It seems
pity that the ladies in that city have to
smack their own lips. In this latitude
men are always ready to save them that
trouble.
"A little keen, bright eyed girl of
four years, on visit one evening, was be-
ing helped to the knee of a gentleman
friend, and on being told by her mother
that she was too large baby to hold, re-
torted almost Immediately, accompanying
her words with an emphatic gesture
Why, girls nineteen years old sit on laps, ),
you?" >,
said an old lady, entering a shop, aDo
yon wish machine with a fellcrw inquired
the clerk, "Sakes, no; don't want any OF
yer fellcrs about me-"
"A coarse-looking fellow went up to an
old gentleman, and holding out his hand,
remarked with smile:
"My dear sir, cannot call you by name,
but I am sure we have been together
somewhere"
ave may have. said the old gentleman,
sfor have been in some very bad compa-
ny in my days." :,
"A cobbler, at Paris, who attended
the public disputations, was asked If ne
understood Latin. "No," he replied )
abut | know who is wrong in tho argu-
ment !" s"How ?" asked mis- friend, HWhy
by seeing who is angry first"
- Sambo was hacking at tough oak,
when lightning struck a tree near him,
and shivered it. sBress de Lord!' SAID
he, "I jes like to see urn Try dis oney |
reckon dey find dere match"
. - An old lady, who had insisted on
her minister's praying for rain, had her
cabbagcs cut up by hsIil storm, and, on
viewing the wreck, remarked that she
aneyer knew him undertake anything
without overriding tho matter"
= If you would find great many
faults, be on the look out. If you would
find them in still greater abundance, be
on the look in.
We may be right or wrong in our
choice of a hero but the enthusiasm
which takes us out of ourselves, and costs
us something, must do some good.
=. "Why will you persist in wearing
another woman's hair on your head ?"
asked Acid of his wife. She rctorted,
awhy will you persist in wearing other
Sleeps wool on your back r.
"A pretty girl said to Leigh Hunt,
III am very sad you see." He replied
aOh, no; You belong to tho other jewish
sect you are very fair, see."
- If q man empties his purse into his
head no man can take it from him. An
investment in knowledge always pays
the best interest.
"A printer, who became physician,
gave as a reason for the change, that IN
printing, all the faults are exposed to the
eye; in physic, they are buried with the
patient.
-siA merchant died suddenly after
writing letter to one of his correspon-
dents. His clerk wrote at the bottom,
"Since writing the above I have died."
and sent the letter.
"A farmer refused to hire an Irish
man, because two previously hired by
him had died on his hands. "Faith,"
said he, "I have wrought in many place,
and niver once played sich trick"
An old sailor objected to tho pro-
posed invention of an India-rubber ship,
because it would rub out all the lines OF
latitude aud longitude, to say nothing OF
the equator.
- The ladies of Raleigh. N. c., recently
proposed to organize an association, OF
which the Oldest member should be the
president and the youngest the secretary.
But the dear creatures soon met with an
unexpected and insurmountable difficulty.
and the project has been abandoned, it
having been found impossible to obtain
president, and every one of the members
claiming the right to be secretary.
: Mr.. and Mrs. Brewer, of Kentucky,
have twenty-five children. This is ihe
most extensive brewery in the West. -
A Yankee witness in court described