The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1866-10-17
Verbal Anomalies.

biguities of the English language
from which we take the following ex-
tracts
The language is full Of paradoxes
'"ShOw me fire" said traveller to
the landlord, for | am very wet; and
bring me mug Of ale, for | am very
dry You walk very slow" said a
man TO consumptiye. Eyes, he re-
: Piled, but / am going very fast. y
s Breaking both wings Of an army il
almost certain to make il fly; a Gem
eral may win the day in a battle fought
at night; lawyer may convey house,
and yet be unable to lift a hundred
pounds; room may be full of mar
ried men, and not have a single man
IN IT. a traveller who is detained an
hour or two may recover most of the
time by making minute of it; man
killed In q duel has at least one sec
ond to live after he is dead fire
goes out and does not leave the room
Q lady may wear a suit the first
day she gets it, and yet put it away
at night in as good condition as
!. ever, a echoolmaster with 20 scholars
may yet have a pupil IN his eye; the
bluntest man in business u geGefHlly
the sharpest one; Ananias, Il said,
told lie, and yet he was borne Hn'
by the bystandersi OF ern,,,ars turn
over a new l .sar without much moral
Improvement; oxen can only eat corn
with the mouth yet you may give it
TO them in the ear; food bolted down
is not the most likely TO remain on
the stomach; soft water IN often caught
when il rains hard high words be-
tween men are frequently low words
steamboat officers are very pleasant
company, and yet we are always glad
TO have them give. US a wide berth; a.
nervous man is trembling, faint, weak
a man of nerve, and a nervous style,
are strong, firm, vigorous.
Our phases are not so designed to
be constructed too literally. Punch
tells of a man who was arrested for
attempting to damage the river
Thames. What was the man doing2
He was trying to pull up the stream.
So Josephs brethren have been ex-.
cused for putting him into the pit, be-
! cause At is supposed they thought il
was aigood opening for a young man.
A person who holds fast to the truth
so literally that he never lets it escape
him, il not to be commended any
I more than the man who takes the
part of the friend when the action re-
fers to Pudding and not to a quarrel.
1. Daphne Of old was turned into tree I;
w-a-days a horse is frequently turn
ed into field. '-.. '8'A
Two or three words are strung to-
gether, and instead Of retaining their
combined meaning, a6qire a new sig
MITIGATION, How differently is the ac-
ton described in securing forest and
securing floor; in skimming the sea
: and skimming milk; in breaking a
dish, breaking colt and breaking a
commandment: in catching train
and catching a cold; in falling in
ditch, falling in love, falling in with
friend, or falling out with friend, or
falling out of n carriage This pecu-
liarity of. our words is what renders
you so liable to read in the funny col
umn of your newspaper, of the person
who, in an explosion of grief, burst
into tears, and whose remains have
a not been found or who carried out
project and was obliged TO bring
it back again; or who kept his
word and so had a quarrel with
Noah Webster, who wanted it for his
dictionary; or who courted an in
vestigation, and was welded TO his
own opinions; or who got off speech,
and has since been trying to get on
again, having found that his train of
remarks was not the right one or
who, at mass meeting, being fired
with Indignation, was put out; or
who, being hemmed in by crowd,
has since been troubled by stitch in
the side; or who was lost in slumber,
and after wandering for long time
IN his own mind, finally got out on a
nightmare.
What do we mean by the awkward
every day question, How do you
dor what. do We mean when we
speak OF old times, knowing, as we
do, That what we call "old times,
were really the new and young times,
and that the present is the true old
age of the world2 Has any debating
society ever decided whether house
burns up or down? What do we
mean when we say, as we often do.
that we will do thing IN no time?
We have no occasion to laugh at the
mistakes of Foreigners when we are
so continually misunderstanding each
other. Said Richard Brinsley Sher;-
dan to his wild son Tom: Take a
wife, Tom, and reform. with al
my heart, said Tom, whose Wife
shall take2" The joke reappeared
in this city only the other day, in a
new suit of clothes. An enterprising
young man said he was going to
start a newspaper Which of the
papers are you going to start2" his
friend asked A wag, with fine APP
probation of the antiquities of words,
once asked man, How many
knaves do you suppose live in this
street beside yourself?" " Besides