Delaware Republican. (Wilmington, Del.) 1843-1874, 1866-09-03
HOW HE GAME TO BE MARRIED.


ses, tin trumpets, litsle willow chairs, cradles,
bibs pap, sugar teats, paregoric, hive syrup,
castor oil, 6odfrey's cordial, soothing syrup,
rhubarb, SIENNA, salts, squils, and doctors bills
Shadows furthermore pound babies, more
hive syrup, etc., etc. I'll just tell you now
got caught. was almost the darndest, most
tea custard bashful fellow yon ever did see, it
was kinder in my line to be taken with the
shakes every time saw pretty gal approsch-
ing me- and I'd cross the street any time rather
than face one 'twasn't because didn't like
the critters, tor If was behind the fence look
ing through knot. hole, couldn't look ct one
long enough. Well, my sister Lib gave party
one night, aud l stayed away from home be,
cause was too bsshful to face the music.
hung around the house whistling 'Dan Tucker,
dancing to keep my feet warm, watching the
heads bobbing up and down behind the WIN
dow curtains, and wishing the laundering party
would break up 80 could get to my room. |
smoked up Q bunch OF my cigars, and as II was
getting late and mighty uncomfortable, con-
cluded to shin up the door post. No sooner
said than done, and | soon put myself snug In
bed.
Anew" Gays l, "let her rip Dance till
your wind gives outp Aud cuddling under
the quilts, Morpheus grabbed me.
was dreaming of soft shell crabs and stewed
tripe, and was having good time, when some-
bodv knocked at the door and woke me up
crap again. laid low. Rap, rap, rap |"
Then heard a whispering, and knew there
was a whole raft of gals outside. Rap, rapl'
Then Lib sings out
"Jack, are you In theref 7"
EYES," saysl
Then came roar of laughter.
"Let US in" says she.
al WON'T" says 1, "csnt you let fellow
alcne2"
"Are you a.bed 7" says sue.
al am" saysI.
"Get up" says she.
81 won't" saysI.
Then came another laugh.
By thunder began to get ried.
sect out, you petticoated scarecrowsl" l
cried; "Can't you get beau without hauling
fellow out of bed won't go with you-i
won't-so you may clear outW
And throwing boot at the door, felt bet
| ter But presently, oh mortal buttons l
heard a still. small voice, very much like sister
Lib's, and it ssid
"Jack, you'll have to get up, for all the
| girls things are therep
oh, Lord, what q picklel Think OF me In
bed, all covered with shawls, muffs, bonnets
and cloaks, and twenty girls outside the door
waiting to get in If | had stopped to tbina
| | should have pancaked on the spot. AS II
was l rolled cut among the bonnet-ware and
ribbons in hurry. Smash went the millin-
/ cry In every direction. / had to dress in the
| dark-for there was q crack 10 the door, and
the girls would peep-and the way fumbled
| about was death on straw hats. The critical
moment came. opened the door, and found
myself right among the women.
"Oh my Leghorn |" cries one. "My deai
| darling winter velvet |" cries another, and
they pitched in--they pulled me this way and
/ a hrtrh
| piece-Sal - her name was-put her arms
around my neck, and kissed me right upon the
lips Human nature couldn't stand that, and
| | gave her as good as she sent. 1t was the first
| time | ever got taste, and 1t was powerful
good, | believe could have kissed that gal
| from Julius Caesar to the Fourth of July.
"Jack," said she, "we are sorry to disturb
you, but won't you see me home 2"
| "Yes," says l, i" will.'
| did do it, and had another smack at the
gate, too; After that we took kinder turtle
| doving after each other, both of US sghing like
| barrel of new cider when we were away from
| each other, Twas at the close Of q glorious
summer day-the sun was setting behind the
distant hen roost-the bull-frogs were COM
mencing their evening songs-the polly -wogsi
In their native mud d.puddles, were preparing
themselves fer the shades of highland Sal
and myself sat upon an antiquated backlog,
listening to the music of nature, such as tree
toads roosters and grunting pigs, and now and
then the mellow music of a distant jackass was
waited TO the ears by the gentle zsphers that
sighed among the mullen stalks, and came
laden with the delicious odor of hen roosts and
pig sties The last lingering rays of the set
| ting sun, glancing from the buttons OF soli-
| tary horseman shone through knot hole in q
| pig pen, full in Sails face, dying her hair an
orange peel blue, and showing off my thread
bare coat to bad advantage. One of my arms
was around Sails waist, my hand resting on th g
| small of her back she was almost gone, and
was ditto. She looked like grasshopper
dying with hiccups, and felt like mud turtle
choked with fish ball.
| HSal.n saws |, in a voice as musical as the
notes of dying swan, twill yon have me p
She turned her eyes hesvenward, clasped me
by the hand, had an attack of the heaves and
blind staggers, and with q sigh that drew her
shoe strings to her palate, said Yes -
She gave clear out then, and squstted in my
lap; she corkscrewed and curhumixed and
rolled in. l hugged her till broke my sus-
penders.
Well, to make long story short, she set the
day, and we practioed for four weeks every
night how We should walk into the room to bs
married, till we got so we could walk as grace
fully as a couple of Mnscovy ducks. The nigh
the company and the minister came, the sigma
was given, and arm in arm we marchet
through the crowded hall. We were just en-
tering the parlor door when down went ker'
slap on the oil cloth, pulling Sal after me-
Some cussed fellow had dropped bananas
! skin on the floor, and 1t hoored me. l split al
,, awful hole iu my cassimeres, right under IN!
dress coat tail 1t was too late TO back out; b
clapping my hand over it, we marched in AM
! were spliced-aud, taking seat, l watche
the kissing the bride operation. Ny grooms
/. man was tight, and he kissed her till jumpe
up to take alice when, oh horror littl
T. six year old imp had crawled behind me, an
pulling my shirt through the hole in my pants
had just pinned it to the chair, and in jump
ing up, displayed to the a1miring gaze of th
astonished multitude a trfe more white mul
lin than WAS pleasant. The women gigRlet
the men roared, and got mad, but was inall
b, put to bed, and there all troubles ended. Goo
o night. -.=