American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1866-11-14
A LITTLE TOO PUNCTUAL.

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from her berth at New York, and the
usual crowd of passengers, newsboys,
fruit venders, cabmen and dock loafers,
were assembled on and about the boat
We were gazing at the motley group
| from the foot of the deck stairs, when
oui attention was attracted by the singu-
lar action of a tall, brown Yankee, in an
immense wool hat, chocolate .colored coat
and pantaloons and fancy vest. He
stood near the starboad paddlebox, and
scrutinized sharply every female who
came on board, every now aud then con-
sulting an enormous silver buli's-eye
watch, which he raised from the depths
of eapacious fob by means of pow
erful steel chain After mounting guard
in this manner he dashed furiouslv down
the gang plank and up the wharf, reap
pearng on board almost instantaneously
with flushed face, expressing the most
intense anxiety. This series of opera
TOPS he performed several times, alter
which he rushed abont the boat, wildly
and hopeles,ly circulating
"What's the time of day Wonder
if my reporters fast? Whar's the cap'n?
Whar's the steward? Whar's the mate?
| Whar's the boss that owns the ship 7"
"What's the matter, sir 7" we Ventur-
ed to ask him, when he stood for mo-
ment. a#a'aa ra.gu
dHain't seen nothing of gal in a
blue sun bonnet, with Canton Grape
shawl, (cost fifteen dollars, pink gown,
and brown boots, hey2 come aboard while
l was looking foi the cap'n at the hind
end of the shipAhave ye, hey ~
"No such perssn has come on board"
"Totnehted llghthingl she's my vi ,,eD
he screamed; married her yesterday
All her trunks and mine aboard under
the pile of baggage as tall as Connect.
cut steeple. The darn black niger says
he can't hand it out, and l won't leave
my baggage, any how. My wife, only
think of it, was to have come aboard at
half past four, and here it is most FIVE.
What's become of her? She can't have
eloped. We han't been married long
enough for tn at. You don't think she's
been abducted, do ye, mister Speak
auswer-won't ye? o. I'm raving dis
tractcd What are they ringing that
rbell for Is the ship afire?'
@It is the signal for departure-the
first bell. The second bell will be rung
in four minutes"
"Thunder you don't say sol Whar's
the capn ?"
"That gentleman in the blue coat"
The Yankee darted for the captains
side.
"Cap'n stop the ship for ten minutes,
won't you ?"
Giant dolt, sir.
"Bdt you must tell you. I'll pay
you fol it. How..much will ye taxi"
'.I could not do 'it.'' ai
"Cap'n, I'll give you tew dollars,
gasped the Yankee.
The captain shook his head.
"Iql give you five dollars and half
and d half-and half" he kept repeat
ing, dancing about in his agony, like a
mad jackass on a hot iron platter.
"The boat starts at five precisely"
said the captain, shortly, and turned
away.
30, you stunny-hearted heathin p
| murmuled the Yapkec, almost bursting
into tears. ''Partin' man and wife, and
we just one day married !"
At this moment, the huge paddle
wheels began TO paw the water. and the
waking beam descended heavily, shak-
ing the huge fabric to the center. All
who were not going to New Haven went
ashore. The hands began to haul in the
gang plank; the fasts were already cut
loose, II
"Leggo that plank T! roared the Yam
kee, collaring one of the hands, "Drop
it like. a bot potatoe, or TIL throw yon in
to the dock p faoss2f se aniyig ia
/, aYo-yO p shouted the men IN chorus.
as they heaved on the gangway. -
HShet up, you brayihg donkeys,p yell
ed the maddened Yankee, ''cr there will
be an ugly sort of work i"as 'i'5 ae
But the plank was got aboard, andthe
boat splasbed past the pier. In an in
slant the Yankee pulled off his coat flung
his hat beside it on the deck, and rushed
wildly to the guard.
"Are you drunk or crazy 7" cried a
passenger. seizing him..
81 am going to ding myself into the
dock and swim ashore !! cried the Yam
kee II mustn't leave Sairy Ann alone
| i. ~ " 4 .. ", $50, d;v;d., ,,,,