The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1866-08-21

| agerie to his assistance, and appealed to
them to stand by the old principle of
grabbing all you can out of the whole
row of pans, ard they voted by fifty. one
to fifty, that he should have his dollar
and half. But in the scrimmage with
Mr.. Boutwell,, half the plunder was lost
and trampled in the dirt. Mr.. Boutwell,
can get coal from Nova Scotia for, say,
IS per ton Mr.. Kelley anGitMr. Thomas
| make him bny of Pennsylvania and
MARYLAND at So so. But it costs Penn
sylvania ard Maryland s. rs to mine and
transport it to Massachusetts,. So Mr.
Kelley's constituents have robbed Mr.
Boutwells constituents of 81 so per ton,
but have got only rs centsinto their own
maws. The other 75 cents is lost to the
monkey community; but they have saved
q great nciple-the right OF each
monkey to steal out of his neighbor's
pan. Mr. Boutwell, all the while de-
Tended the principle, but was opposed to
the applics,iio of tin.
While lie robbery was going on Mr..
Pike, of Maine, who wanted to help him
self to fifty cents barrel on herring out
of the several pans in the garden, dis
covered tia. somebody was taking three
cents ponnh out of his mess on chain
cables, aud made great outcry about
it The thief had disappeared (likewise
the plundprer.) and nobody could tell
who or where he was. Mr.. Pike protest
ed against having to pay three cents
pound extra !or chain cables; he was
willing to pay two cents, because he was
accustomed toi. but three cents was
halinua tho,aa N
monkey in the whole lot who would be
benefited by it. AIR. Morrill, was sure
there was une somewhere. He might be
in Maine or he might be in New York, or
he might be in some other State. If
there was none there ought to be one,
and Mr.. Pixies pan ought to be robbed
for the purpose OF starting new one in
business These views were received
with such favor that Mr.. Pike did not
even call for a division of the question.
His constituents are to pay three cents
pound extra for chain cables to hold
their ships, while they are were out for
herring, in hopes of getting it back by
robbirg the res5 IF the community fifty
cents barrel Oh what they catch. IL is
agreed ON all hands that nobody is to
get the three cents which Mr.. Pixies con-
stituants lose, until some one can be
drummed up to take it, Meanwhile the
rest of the monkeys are to lose fifty cents
ON their herring. Mr. Pixies constituen
will not gain it, because, while they
have to suffer a loss of three cents on
their cables and dollar and half on
their coal, they cannot afford to catch
herring for less
Mr.. Thomas of, Maryland, having done
good thing in company with Mr..
Kelley, Of Pennsylvania in getting off
with dollar and half "a ton for coal,
kept good watch on his own pan, and
when he found Mr.. briggs, of Michigan.
making drive for twenty per ceut. on
copper ore, he fought quite iurlously.
Mr. Thomas constituents use q vast deal
of copper ore. and they want to get it
as cheap as they can, But Mr.. briggs
constituents, being exposed to good
deal of pluudering in the clothes they
wear and the tools theXEork K with, can
not afford to mine copper unless they
are allowed to rob their proportion, Mr..
Morrill, decided that their fair share was
fifteen per cent, aud when Mr.. Thomas
demurred and said that five per cent
was enough, he was reminded by the
former gentleman that, after getting a
dollar and a half ton on coal, he had
better hold his tongue; and this was the
opinion of a majority of the menagerie.
So Mr.. Thomas constituents and their
customers are robbed of fifteen per cent.
of their copper. Mr. briggs constituents
do not get more than five per cent. of it
into their mouths, because they are so
numerically robbed themselves that
they cannot afford to mine copper for
what it is worth
An Ohio member said that he had
been accustomed to feed in the old
fashioned way, ont of his neighbors'
pans, though he had misgivings both as
to the economical advantages and the
good manners of the system. His own
pan having been exposed to heavy dep
| relations on all sides, he mnst insist on
| taxing forty cents bushel on haxseed
"a part compeusation for his losses, and
even then his constituents would not be
made who 10 by long way. If he were
not allowed to do this he should go for
| new system-that Of each one feeding
out of his own pan Mr.. Morrill, said
| that he had no doubt whatever OF the
general expedency Of feeding out of
your neighbors' pans, but that on the
question of flaxseed he differed in toto
from the gentleman from Iowa. No.
body should feed out of his pan that way
or to that extent. The suggestion of
| the Iowa member that he might posi-
| bly abandon the old method of taking
food was looked upon in the light Of an
insurrectionary movement, and Mr.. Nor
rill was consequently sustained by a
large majority.
And 30 the game went on. Occasion
ally lot Of monkeys would agree to
break out of their cages and make a
raid on all the pans in the garden. Now
and then q voice was heard suggesting
that, inasmuch as there was a given
amount of food for all, each should feed
out of his own pan, and let his neigh
boris alone; but these radicals, who
were mostly from the West, were put
down instantly Mr. Morrill, would de-
fend the principle of dining out of one
another's pans to the last extremity.
Mr.. Stevens would inform them that the
idea of eating out of your own pan was
perfectly ruiuous-no menagerie could
exist on any such method of taking food
Mr.. Kelley was sure they would al
starye TO death if they were restricted
to their own pans-he could prove tc
any monkey, by facts and figures, thai
stealing out OF each others pans, anG
1 smiling half increased the appreoatt