Smyrna times., 1866-03-07
Our First Baby.


| Married on the lst April, by the Rev.
Obadiah Poundtext Mr.. GEORGE WAsHISG-
TON. JONES to Miss AMANDA, only daughter Of
Luclus Lemon, E~I.. No cards.
didn't say no baby ! have now one Of
those interesting animals at our house 1t
came when it raincd like the deluge dark as
! pltrh and my umbrella at the store; no cars
running. The doctor lived five miles due west,
and the nurse SIX miles due east and when
got home to the bosom of my family, the con-
densed mllkman wa, at the next door It's a
funny little chap that baby Soltcriun color.
and the length of a Bologna sausage. Cross?
| guess not I'm um! 1t commenced chas-
ing me down the pathway of life lust when
muslin, linen, white flannel, were the highest
they had been since Adam built a hen house
for Mrs Eve chickens. The doctors charge
two dollars squint, four dollar. rrunt, and
on account of The scarcity of rain in the coun-
try, take what Is left in a man $ pockct-nO
discount for caSh-and send bill for balance,
January LIST. y queer little thin" is that baby.
\ >pcck Of a nose like Il wart head as bald as
| a squash, and no place to hitch Il waterfall; 4
mouth Just suited to come the gum game and
chew milk. Oh crackcc! yon should hear it
sing. | have bumped it, stuffed my fur cap
down Its throat given it the SmOothing-irons
to play with but that little rcd lump that looks
as II 1t couldn hold blood enough to keep
muSqulto from talntlnQ, persists i'll yelling like
| thunder 1t shows great desire to swallow
its fists, and the other day they dropped down
ITS throat, and all that prevented their going
clean through was the crook in its elbows 1t
stopped It's music, and | was happy for one and
hail minutes. It's pleasant thing to have
& baby in the houoe-onc Of your bclly-ache
kind. Think Of the pleasures of a father, in
dlslablllc, trembling in the midnight hour,
with hls warm feet upon a square yard of cold
oll-eloth dropping parcg"ric in teaspoon, by
moonlight, the nurse humping ON the door.
wife of your bosom shouting Hurry :" and
the baby yelling till the trc>co drops from the
ceiling. 1t a nc" time to think OF drcSS-coats,
pants, ties and white kids Shades of depart
ed cocktails what picture for an article in
Plaster Paris! It's mother saws the darling is
troubled with wind on the stomach, it beats
all the wind instrument you ever heard Of l
have to get up IN the cold and shivcr while the
milk warmS-it uses the bottle have 4 era
die with the representation Of miraculous
soothing syrup bottle on the dash board.
tried TO stop its breath the other night-it was
no go; | rocked it 50 hard missed stays, and
sent 1t slap clear across the room, upSctting a
jar Of preserves 1t didn't make any noise.
then! oh, no 1t 5 mother says wait till il gets
blcachcd, Ut ; been vaccinatcd, and old enough
to crawl about and feed ON pins Yes. | am
going to wait. Won it be delightful? John,
run for the doctor; SIS has fallen into the slop-
pali and Is choking with 4 potatu->kin: sis has
fallen down stairs SIS has swallowed the tack
hammer; shows 81 gns of the mumpS Group.
whooplng- cough, smallpox, collie, dy>cntcry,
cholera mtantum, or some other darn thing to
let the doctor take the money laid by for my
winter 5 corn-b2et. And all this comes of nv
slampooing and curling my hair. wearing nice
clothes and looking handsome, going court
ing and making my wife fall in love and marry
me.