The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1866-12-07
HTO"V Nto 13VIsotOIF UHCH.
Arteinus Ward at the Tower of London

From the London Punch.
Artetnus Ward at the Tower of London.
l skercely need inform you that your
excellent Tower is very poplar with PEG.
pie from the agricultural DISTRICTS, and it
was chiefly them class that found wait
in at the gates the other mornin'.
[ saw at once that the Tower was es-
tablishcd on q firm basis. In the entire
history of firm basisis l don't find basis
more firm than this one.
"You have no Tower in America p
said a man in the crowd, who had some
how detected my denomination.
"Aars |! no." answered, eve boste of
our enterprise and improvements, and yit
we are devoid of Tower. America, oh
my unhappy country, thou hast got no
Tower. It's sweet Boon"
The gates was opened after awhile, and
we all purchist tickets, and went into a
waitin' room.
"My frens," said a pale-faced little
map, in black close, "this is sad day."
Inasmuch as to how % said.
81 mean, it is sad to think that so
many people have been killed within
these gloomy walls. Ny frens, let us
drop a tear ~
"No," l said, "you must excuse me-
Others may drop one if they feel like it /;
but as for mo, decline. The early man
ayers of this institootion were bad lot,
and their chimes was trooly orful but l
can't sob for those who died four Or FIVE
hundred years ago. If they was my own
relations | couldn't. It's absurd to shed
sobs over things which occurred durin'
the rain of Henry the Three. Let US be
cheerful l continued. "Look at the
festiv' warders, in their red fannil jack
cts. They are cheerful, and why should
it not be thusly with US? ?"
A warder now took US in charge, and
showed US the Trater's Gate, tho armers
and things. The Trater's Gate ID wide
enuff to admit about twenty traters
abreast, should judge; but beyond this,
[ couldn't see that it was superior to
gates in gen'ral.
Traters, l will here remark, are an on
fortnit class of pe'plo. If they wasn't,
they wouldn't be traters. They conspire
to bust up the country, they fail, and they
are traters. The bust her, and they be-
come statesmen and heroes.
Take the case of Gloster, afterward old
Dick the Three, who may be seen at the
Tower on horseback, in heavy tin over
coat-take Mr.. Gloster's case. Mr.. G.
was oonspirator of tho basist dye, and if
he'd failed, he would have been hung on
sour apple tree. But Mr.. G. succeeded,
and became great. He was slowed by
Col. Richmond, but he lives in history,
and his equestrian Ggger may be seen
daily for sixpence, in conjunction with
other eminent persons, and no extry
charge for the warder's able aud boot-
full lectur.
There's one king in this room who is
mounted on foamin' steed, his right
hand graspin BARRIERS pole. didn't
learn his name.
The room where the daggers and pis-
ills and other weppins are kept is inter-
estin.' Among this collection of choice
cutlery | notist the bow and arrer which
those hotheded old chaps used to conduct
battles with. 1t is quite like the bow and
arrer used at this day by certain tribes of
American Injuns, and they shoot en- off
with such an excellent precision that [
almost sighed to be a Ipjun when l was
in the Rocky Mount'in rogin. They are
pleasant lot, thean Injuns. Mr.. Cooper
and DR.. Catlin have told us of the red
mans wonderful eloqucnce, and l found
it so. Our party was stopt on the plains
of Utah by band of Sboshones, whose
chief said, "Brothers the pale face is
welcome. Brothers the sun is sinkiu
in the west, and Wa-pa-bucky-she will
son cease speakin,' Brothers ! the pool
red man belongs to race which is fast
becoming cx.ink." lie then ghooped il
shrill manner, stole all our blankets and
whiskey, and fled to the primeval forest tc
conceal his emotions.
| will remark here, while on the sub
ject Of Injuns, that they are in the main
very shaky set, with even less sense thar
the Fenians, and when l hear phi
lanthropsts bewaiIin the fack that every
year "carries the noble red man near The
settin sum-" | simply have to say Pm
glad of it, tho it is rough on the settin
sun. They call you by the sweet name
of Brother one mint, and the next they
scalp you with their Thomashawks. Blu
| wander Let us return to the Tower
At one end of the room where the wep
pins is kept is IA wax fgger of Queer
Elizabeth mounted on fiery stuffed hosO
whose glass eye fhshes with pride ant
whose red morocker nostrils dilates hawti
ly, as if conscious of the royal burdel
he bears. | have associated Eizabetl
with the Spanish armady. She's wixe'
up with it at the Surry Theatre, wher
"Troo to the Core" is bein'' acted, aud ii
which fully bally core is iutrojooccd OF
board the Spanish admiral's ship, givin
the audience the idee that he intend
openin' music hall in Plymouth tn
L. hot Prk