The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1866-01-04
How to Enjoy Pic-Nics

has an article on pic MICS Some of his il
Illustrations will answer for any meridian
and we take slice of his entertaining dish
| Get packed into car like a box o
1ranges and smothered in white muslin un
M you get to the grove, where you will ar
I've III state Of perspiratlon aud bliss
Don't be particular about your own has
Net. Baskets usually get mixed Take til,
biggest one you can get, The ladies always
Oil their baskets. s5a. .a.zs
When you get to the grove you are ex
ipected to declare it is the most delightful
place you ever saw. vss
Select a pretty teacher, and explore the
Shadlest recesses, and pour out your whole
SOUL When it is all poured out, ask the
young lady If she won't take swing.
She will
Sawyer has sung Of Swinging in the
Lane" but don't think he ever tried swing
ing III the grove | was kept at it three
hours and quarter, swinging all the girls
That came along. 1t is splendid exercise;
beats Barnum's gymnasium, double trapeze
and all. havn't got over II yet. 70 si.li
4 An old woman proposed that should
clllnb tree to extrlcate her Johnny, who
had got his trowsers involved IN a branch
about thirty feet up, aud was hung up like
a sign of the golden fleece. Told the old
lady to wait till he got ripe, and he'd drop
oil OF his own accord. Old lady said was
brute, and hadn't got the feelings of a moth
en-. She went for man who kept the Park
and sold lager. He brought ladder, and
restored the aspiring youth TO the fond en-
brace OF his maternal relative. Whereupon
she spanked him for tearing bis trowsers.
Which served him right
We then took dinner ass ...
Pretty teacher spread her pocket hand
kerchiet for table CLOTH and unpacked the
rations The rations had got somewhat
mixed. The sardine box had busted and
Struck lie, The huckleberry pie had
amal gamated with the pickles, and the
| cherries had resolved themselves into jam
but 1t was so charming to eat your dinner
on tina grass beneath the outrageous shade
OF the noble trees, So the pretty teacher
observed, as | was squeezing the lemons in
dinner kettle to make the festive bevera-
ge, which neither cheers nor inebrates, but
frequently stomach aches
was ssartled by piercing shrek from
the pretty teacher, and [ dropped a half
Demon partly squeezed, aud flew TO the res.
outrageous foliage previously mentioned,
had ailghted on her alapdsler ueek | dis
patched the creature, aud we concluded to
dispatch our repast m
But insect horrors thickened
Enomological.specimens fnany varieties
lntruded upon our banquet; got involved in
the PIE, and met watery grave i'll the lem
onade. .ai.,
Pretty teacher turned pale, aud lost her
appetite. grew desperate. AS the reck-
less insects wouldn't get out of the way,
left them to their fate | ate several indie
scribahle specimens with my sandwiches
and drank spider in glass of lemonade
| survived it. don't know how it agreed
with the SPIDER.
After dinner we resumed our festive sports
We played Copenhagen, which is very
hifa rious sport. 1t consists of chasing girls
under rope tearing their clothes aud kiss
ing them. ,,s 'a
The girls appeared to like it. "
The dominic, who had been surveying
our sports with benign satisfaction, proposed
to improve the time in oratory. Just as he
was about to hold forth, providentiai
thunder shower extinguished him, and
saved us the infliction. lf aa t.
We took refuge under a seven by nine
shed, wisely provided for such .contingen-
cies, and overlooked the refreshment shanty
until the shower dried up, las.f
Groves are not Immediately improved by
showers, our festivities were uampened We
began to experience the remorse which fol
lows dissipation. RS -lEsf s.n.- ~
Pretty teacher was in tears She had
ruined her dress by. accidentally sitting
down in currant pie. The ice-cream had
all melted, the Strawberries were gone. We
started in wilted procession for the cars.
The conductor, being liberal man, gave
us larger lease of pleasure than we had
bargained for and kept us waitin for an
hour -r ..s....... ..5.s.s1.-..f I'D
went to bed early, and dreamed all
night that was struggling desperately wipl
gigantic spider, who had carried off the
pretty teacher, and hung her up by her
waterfall on the topmost limb of big
tree. a.5.s.s ...s- p. ......'f e......- LII.
Some people like pic-nics, others like
strawberry festivals-but for my part
give me liberty or give me death. ls D'
1881 Yours perspiringly asl aa
CORY O'LANUs.