Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1866-01-09
For the Spectator.
A Karde.

a nus paper controvircy--sich things is furrin to
mi taist but sentense in Bishup Glossburn-
er's End Epistol to Mayer MacKew, in the ssSpec-
tatur," demans explanation frum me. l feal
indellikasy in no,isen this matur, bein young
membur of the profeshun: prefur leaven it to
oldur docturs than me, but it seams they has all
oyerlookt it. AS docturs is all pusly inkiined,
I reckon the older memburs of the profeshun is
bzzy tenden church durin the holly dais, or sum
luther devoshunel xercises. Mr. eddytur,
wish to muik this artikal as short as possibel
vii gest cal the Mayer and the Bishup, Mac and
Gloss fur short
Vel, heres what Gloss sails in the afoursade End
epistol ssthe minister in their visits, the physi
elan as he visits his patients and the elder 10 the
Church when he visits his friends are united IN
their efforts to misrepresent one who has gone in
and out among them for q number. of years"
These is Glosss wurds, verbaytum EFT literaytum;
and want it to be distinctly understo God hi mi
reeders that Amt responsibel fur the bishup's
spein and grammar; thing is sertn, that if
Gloss spells rite, then spells rong and Wisely YER
sey. Butt kin So this much fur me, nevur wuz
much funhifalutin wurds, but is a trump on
Grammer & Spellin.
Anuther thing want mi reeders to no; that
is, j am goin tn let them preechurs and aldus talk
keer of ihairselvs, fnr won Nv them chaps maid
me gritty onst; don't yu think he wanted me to
quit studyin medisen and study preechen. He
SADIE was two smart fur doctur sez he tina
alwais pix out the biggest phule in the family fur
doctur, and eff emmy of the sons amt Krazy enuff
to go to the Lewnaiick Asylum, tina gist kompro-
mise by maxim doctur Nv him. This RACED mi
irish and it vii stick in me as long as i lv. Reed
ers, yu vii pleas pardun mi divirgens,
Now fur Mac and Gloss. Yu sea Gloss don't
meme emmy pertikler physishun, but he assails the
whole tribe. | kant say that am mad, but bein
very sensitive the subject of Medisen, feal
a liitel gritty at Mac and Gloss; i don't blaim
Gloss alto gether fur miken this declarashun, but
blaim Mac sum two, kaze if he hadn't kotched
Gloss whar the har wus short, he woodn't SADIE
what he did.
Now, deni this charg on the docturs. I deni
that they is bizzy- boddys. Sum buddy hes lied
to Gloss the doc;urs. Tha is a generus and
eddykated set offellers. Tha attends to thar own
biznes and leis luther peepels aloan. Evry doc
tur nose that it is the furst artikal in medikle
ethiks to noe no reigen, no pollyicks, no tenn
pranse, and no nu,hin. When we is among the
Methodist, we is a Methodist when we is a.
mong the Presbyterians, we is SIGH and when
we is among the Benighted Bruthren we is SIGH
We is all piusly ink'ined but blongs to no church
Now, reeder, yu will understands that i am
spekin mi own sentiments, but what beeve to
be the opinyun of the hole profeshun. But if the
'soggusty medkal Sosiety" don't sancshun what
i sa at its pext meatin, then all this uloey
gose to mi kredit
| wus a attentiv, but passiv observer of the
controversy betwean Mac and Gloss. Both of
them is equally genteel, and equally respecta-
bell, and equally plus. deni that i hev emmy
thing against the Benighted Bruthern church,
Doctors don't keer enything about niger eqollity
when they is half thar time in niger kichens a
docturin. We docturs don't keer nnything about
miscegenashun further than to tri experiments in
mixin brandy and wotter and shooger. We doc
turs don't talk about folks when we visits our pa
shents; we only axes how the pashent is, and
whethur tina has got thar brandy hoam frum the
sti-hous, and sum sich questions as theas. re-
pete, we favur no perikeler denominashun, but we
respeks al orthodocks kristans, (orihodocks menes
korrect in thar fathe-them that sells fur a little
moar than markit price to the poar-them that
sleaps soundist time Nv preachin-them that
throes in the littellest pease of money at church
kollecshuns--these is orthodockes.)
Now, mr.eddytur, don't blame Mac much for
bene opposed 10 niger equolity, niger Suffrage
and all that. When he wus boy he had to no
korn ro by 70 with the kontrabands in the hot
sun, aud he has nevur bene in tavur of niger
equolllty sintz. And then he cant stand that
oder peculiar to the kontrabands. 0 jimmiDy!
when think Nv the time when wus MKT up
with the kontrabapds when the cars run into the
lot Nv Observation-Disclosures abuv, belo, and oil
around me; and SIGH oder !! i has smelt pole
cats; has smelt ole bachelors has smet wet
dogs, but if the aktiv principles of all these be
foursade obnoxshus animals was put toge thee
it woodn't appoxymait this kontraband oder in
offensivnes. Assyfedid, is guide perphume aside
it it will be in mi mind IS nose as long as liv.
Now don't blaim Mac if he cant stand this
oder on the kourt bench, in the metin nous, and
at the elekshun when he scrouges in to voat..
Mac has got it in his he'd that the Benighted
Bruthern will talk niger in thare church and
wont talk in his mastur. Now i deni this. Tha
talks in the niggers, and the mas turs wont 60 in,
thu is SIGH sinners reckon. Mac sails Gloss re-
- 49, 90 ,oH
the Benighted Bruthern Konpherens wei who
blaims him fur this The majority thar rejoist,
and if fellur wants to hold his plais he must go
with the kroud This is the trew prinsipal of po-
litikal ekonomy and professional tackticks (sea
art. 1st medikal ethix).
Mac chargs Gloss with bein in favur Nv niger
equality and niger sufraig. Wei, who blams
him fur this? So is Beecher, and Cheever, and
Windle Fillips, and Sumner in favur of niger
suffraig and nigger equoity; and tina is graft
men.
If Gloss rejoist when the lait fratrys idell wau
wus over, so did hepe moar fellurs. Thare wus
aul them fellurs whot went of to the Yankys to
kepe out of the rebbel army rejost to git back
onst moar to the land that gaiv them burth and
protekshun our braiv konscrips, who UNDER
goin aul the sufferins privashuns of the bushes,
and mowntens and kaivs-whare tina had hid from
the konscrip offyser and yanky bulets-tha rejoist
to git hoam onst moar: thare wus the men aged
IS yeres who had swoar that tina 40, then As,
then so yeres old as the konscrp law went up
and who wus afeerd that Kongres wood put the
law up to SIS yeres ; tina wus rejoist when the
war cloased. But, mozee this is between me and
yu and the gait poast konphidenshally, if Thad
oteevens's selekt komity in the united states kon
gres, which is inkwiren into the condishun of the
stats laily in rebeyun, wood git hold of this
tina mite maik theas phellurs go in the army yit
Wreeder, yu vii plees pardun mi digresshun.--
Them aint aul that rejoist. Thar wus sevrel guide
southern men toald me that tina glad the war
wus over, for tina said tina tired hiden
e. -