Delaware State journal and statesman., 1866-08-03
WIT AND HumoI,.

why are young ladies like arrows? Be.
cause they never go off without how (beah,
one. ''J s''
man who is advertising lodgings "to let
ior carly fisers" at Banbury, adds: "Cocbin
emma fowls of unusual vocal powers, are
Kept on the adjoining premisesi
young man at tea party, overheard
one Iauy' say TO another; II have something
lol your private ear. He exclaimed: 81
protest against it, for priyateering is iIlegal -
Mike, " said bricklayer to his hod man.
'li you meet Patrick, tell him TO make haste
as we are waiting for him." "Sure and |
VIII, replied Mike; "but what will tell
him if don't mate him?"
certain newly-eected Irish Mayor.
speaking Of certain articles in a yiyacious
newspaper, observed: ~ despise those I'M
derhand attacks When write an anonv-
nous letter, always sign my name to it. =
Alta bigamy suit, recently instituted against
young, woman, ii turned out that one of
her husbands was named Little md The
other Long. A waggish Young LAWYER on
hearing the case, said he could imagine the
woman addressing her brace of husbands
thus love me, Little-love me, Long"
negro woman was relating her expert
ence TO gaping congregation OF color and
among other things she said she had been in
Heaven. One OF the ladies of color asked
her; "Sister, did you see any black folks in
lieavenY" "Ohl get out you s'pose | 20 i'm
de kitchen when was darg"
clergyman recently illustrated his argu-
ment IN lavor OF corporoal punishment for
chlidren by apleasant piece of witticism. lie
SAID that 'lhe child, when once started in n
course of evil conduct, is like n locomotive
on the wrong track-it takes the switch to
get il off,
VI tell you, said warm friend of new
y elected Senator to an old sober politician,
I our party may say what they please, but
you cannot deny that Mr.. c. is a sound
man. " That's just what we are afraid of, y
replied old BceswaX; ''it's our opinion that
he's all soundn
A Scotch clergyman did not, satisfy, by
ms preaching, certain portion of his flock.
why, sir," said they, 1--WE think you dinna
tcii us enough ahoul rcnouncing our own
righteousness. "Renouneing your ain
rlghteousness' cried the asLonished doctor.
II never saw any ye had to renouncer'
A laughable' story is told OF u native of the
green isle OF Erin" who, with neighbor,
lau Just landed from an emigrant Shin. No,
llcing brass button on the sidewalk. he
picked il up, and turning to the other. ex-
claimed, Sec here, Jamie; what u fine
country this is, to be sure where YOU I'll
BulucuS via handles TO 'cm, y
A country carpenter having neglected TO
make a gallows that had been ordered to he
erected on certain day, the Judge went 10
the man and said "How came YOU. sir 10
neglect making the gibbet ordered?" With
out intending any sarcasm, the man replied:
I'm very sorry; for if had known il was
for your honor, 1t should have been done
Immediately"
An English paper tells this story: zone
day when the flagship of nm English commo,
dore was lying in the Bay of Naples, she
was honored by visit from the King and
royal family, with suite, who came out in
gllded barges and the full parade of ROYALTY
The ship was dressed from deck to truck in
holiday attire; side boys were mustered al
the ropes, the marines presented arms, the
guns thundered forth a royal salute, and the
commodore welcomed his guests to the quar-
ter-deck with the politeness beiltting an oil
Ger of rank One of the suite, a spindle.
shanked and gaudily attired Neapolitan,
strayed away from the party, and cruising
about midships, espied a windsail, an Object
he had never seen before, AS il was full,
expanded by the air, he took it for pillar
and, folding his arms, leaned against 1T
when it yielded to his weight and he disap
peared below, heels over head, with We
locity that was actually marvellous, as wa
his escape from any injury, The mishal
CHANGED to have only one witness. Thi
was veteran tar, who, approaching thl
quarter. deck, and touching his hat, said re
respectfully, 81 beg pardon, commodore, bu
one OF them ere kings has fell down thu
hatchwAy,'"