Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1866-12-05
THE RACES RACILY REPORTED.
BIZ THE PAT CONTRIBUTOR.

muuy CdlIcu Iuc uumhu EhCc, anu thS
horse race, which some consider inhu-
man. The Indian race is nearly run.
A mill race or q race to q /" mill oc-
ours when a prize fight is announced.
l fatter myself that l know some
thing of the horse race. had a pas
sion for horse racing when a lad, and
used to run horses with n neighbor's
boy in Tompkins' lane.
How wildly do I recall my last race.
| rode the Governors grass fed mare,
a sorrel, if / remember correctly, with
two white spots in the forehead. She
was q little %foundered in n eye, but
with the exception of something like a
watermelon on each knee, her intellect
was unimpaired. Neighbours boy rode
q cream-colored chestnut, with a spring
halt to harness. On the home stretch |
was a neck and half a shoulder-blade
behind, gently encouraging the old mare
TO do her level best, by the application
of q c%orn-cutter on her aged ribs. The
| limp which she had in her eye prevented
| her taking a clear view of a heap OF
| cobble-stones in the lane, and when she
struck them, there vas q tumble, a clat-
| ter of stones, ho%rse-shoes and old bones,
| and the old mare was wrecked and no
| insurance. | was picked up bleeding
| and insensible, and | made the rest OF
| the home-stretch on a stretcher, coming
in under the blanket. The race was
decided in my favor. The judges al
lowed, although I was a neck behind
when the old mare stumbled, yet, as
escaped without my neck being broken,
| came out a neck ahead.
Although exceedingly fond Of the
races, I don't attend them very often
nowadays.
My corpulency is too annoying. They
charge me double for my ticket, and |
can only get in through the horse-gate.
Then the boys yell:
"Here comes the prize ox!' and insist
on my being trotted over the course to
show my points. .
The first thing that struck me at n
race course-no, not the first thing, for
that was the shaft Of n sulky, but the
next thing-was the open disregard OF
the rules of the course. Although
"public stand" was painted upon a shed
in letters so large that tho horse that
runs may read, there was the public sit
ting down. But the public have to
stand a great deal at the race course. |
saw another shed tabled reporters
stand" | asked u reporter what it
meant, and he whispered:
"Stand treat" stood it.
bidding off pools for the horses"
was the reply l received, when inquir-
ed the meaning of m auction scene on
the course.
/ innocently inquired if these pools
were horse-ponds, but he only gave me
a look of silent contempt. | finally
dropped a fifty dollar note in one of
those pools. No more spool for me.
Foot races are not as popular as they
once were. People are too lazy to run
now, unless they run for Office. ! ran
for a prize once in a foot race. was
not quite as fat as ] an now. | only
weighed four hundred and forty-seven
pounds. 1t happened thus: | was at
tending the county fair. They got up
q prize for the fastest runner. In those
days this was before the onerous tax
on whisky, I used to indulge occasion
ally in that cup which makes US cheer
and be inebriate, as Cowper hath it. In
a playful moment, I asked the boys to
get EN- tight and have fun with me, and
they took me at my word. The bar
keeper assisted them by putting liquor
in my ~gin-cocktail, while my back was
turned, adding alcoholic stimulant to
my whisky, and pouring decoctions OF
malt into my beer. | nave since sus-
pected that tobacco was mingled with
my cigars, but on that point am NOT
quite clear.
Although 1t has exhausted the con,
tents OF nearly every oar on tne grounu
to do it, yet got 'full,' and the fumes
Of the liquor rose from my stomach 10
my brain, as from an immense cauioron
causing me to oehave IN the most riui-
culous n insane manner;
felt as ethereal as syiPn, anu went
half through with q nip-hap, ianu!hs
hard on my oncK' L tnen naue 'ne
attempt to throw a BACK somersauit
through a balloon, resulting IN the total
humiliation of a confectionery stand,
into which | dove head first. ruth
lessly seized the "Fat Woman, in her
tent and spun her around IN a WALTZ
until she shrieked. offered to permit
the "Living Skeleton to hold me out
at arms length sitting on his palm.
My absurdities drew a crowd of delight
ed spectators, and when it was sug-
gested that ] should compete for the
prize at the foot race, fool that I was,
eagerly jumped at the offer.
No Athenian athlete ever entered the