New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1866-06-11
A Lark in MOBILE or, The Conseript's
Revenge.

Billy j and Tom E--wer two young gem
tlemen who, in the spring of 1868 had been eXied
from New Orleans by Gen. Banks, because they
had registered themselves as enemies to the United
States. They were Confederate, socalled,' in
their proclivities; but their patriotism was
of that kind which much prefers to
exhibit itself upon the streets and around
the entrances of bar-rooms; or, in other
words satisfied itself in finding vent in words,
without ambition of finding immortality at the
lannon's mouth on the "tented feld.n They had
lattered themselves that after proving to the
world by their oaths that they had no affection for
Uncle Sam, they would be allowed to pursue the
even tenor of their way in peace and quiet while
grim visaged war was on a0rinhle every where
else But Banks's cruel order went forth and they
had to git
| After many adventures by flood and field, they
brought up at Mobile and fancied that as all
their surroundings were of Confederate stamp, and
as their harness was new, they could quietly pur
sue the course which fate had in store for them
unmolested and uncurbed. But, alas for the de-
lusiye hopes of man. They soon found that the
good people of Mobile had become surfeited with
, gentlemen of their stamp, and after giving them
the cold shoulder for time, actually refused either
sympathy or hospitality to such apparently luke
5 warm Confederates. And toput climax upon their
discomforts, nenrolng officer sent them aninvita-
ton by squad of armed rebes,' to call at his
office and be enrolled as defenders Of their
: country. To such an invitation there wasno other
. answer than an immediate compliance, so they went
: before that dignitary, feeling like lambs led
to the slaughter. To make long story
L short, they were duly conscnpted and sent
It that night to swell the ranks of Lees army in
J. Virginia. Whether by force of example or that
e they had good deal of the hero latent In them,
e which only required proper regimen to be devel-
is oped, we cannot says but at all events they soon
d became as good soldiers as any, distinguishing
h themselves upon more than one well-fought field,
and so remained, luckily escaping unframed, from
y bullets the battlededs and surgeons in the hos
II pitfalls, until the war was over, and they were
& paroled and given leave to go home.
a En- route on their return, they arrived in com
pany at Mobile one night. After engaging lodg-
ings at hotel they walked out into the streets to
o. look for familiar scenes and faces and perhaps to
IN take cooling drink-for the weather was warm,
to though the moonlight was beautiful and entieing.
re But once in the streets the stores dwellings and
1T shops which met their view every hand, brought
d back remembrance of their wrongs, and the sight
of the house in which the enrolling officer held his
IL court awakened afresh that ire which had slept
N for three years. They looked at each other
TO ground their teeth, and gazing up to heaven
y vowed to be reveDged upon Mobile and her
Of inhospitable inhabitants.
y Billy spoke first. g Tom" said he, " let's gel
even with this Internal town before we leave
" What say yon?n Tom, who is man of few
words answered that q it would afford him infinite
pleasure to do so; but how" Billy walked on ii
. the bright moonlight and unused for some time
. The thought of his wrongs at last gave him in
- spiration " Tom, you are painter, believe
~ q am said that worthy. Z" What then%
hS Let US 60 and procure paint pot and brust
~ and I'll show you" returned Billy. 81
~ they anxiously sought a paint shop. One waE
- soon found, and the proprietor was just closing
- his shutters preparatory to shuttingup for the
= night. They held council of war, which termi
~ mated in Biys approaching the painter and en-
" gaging him in conversation, while that able ani
~ accomplished old pirooter, Tom slipped into the
shop, possessed himself of the required articles
Y and made off unobserved in iitfy. Perceivinl
r that his plan had succeeded Billy soon bid thu
= painter good night in his blandest tones, and re
: joining his comrade around the corner, made pre-
y paration to put his plan into execution. The,
70 walked up Government street, Billy making know
=, to Tom, on the way, what he desired to hav
81 done. Soon hating before beautiful mansion
~ surrounded by high paling as white as the SEE
nc beach, Tom set to work with will. Letter afteI
y letter was formed by his practical hand, until the
= following sentence appeared upon the paling, re
Y spleudent in red paint and in letters two fee
y high: TRY RED JACKET B1TTEBs," thus making
- the incosure of this aristocratic mansion the ad
~ vertsing medium of liquid Billy had tried very
-, often of late.
bo The next fine house they came to had no palings
ne but was flush on the street. What cared Tom
To be reyenged he d risk everything, and straight
al way the walls Of this edice bore witness to Billy
H. faith in the great elixir, after this manner: Re-
nd Jacket Bitters cures indigestion and fatulency
~ House after house, and fence after fence were thu
H. ornamented until the worthy pair found themseIve
ont on Spring Hill road far in the suburbs, and tn
an cocks were announcing the approach c
a. day with their accustomed reveie. They wer
Oh admonished by this that it was time to finish the
Nj abors; but the sight of large mansion SUI
ed rounded by most deliberately ornamented palm
irz attracted their attention. They would make tn
Al the grand finale of their revenge, and forthwith
,ra went to work, Tom with his brush, and Bill
6r with piece of blue clay he had pickle
ire up. ." Try Red Jacket Bitters Wa
\ inscribed upon the first panel in large Germa
nit text shaded by the blue clay The next containe
loo the list OF all the various diseases which are cure
are by .Red Jacket" The third panel contained
The living likeness of the great Indian Chief Re
The Jacket in his war costume, and on the gate the
painted the great American eagle, with bottle
Red Jacket Bitters in one claw and in the otht
ion Death hung strangled. They were busily engage
tbe in shading off the great bird, dearly loved
en-. every American, when suddenly the gate opene
of and the rotund form of a middle aged gentlema
mid presented itself to their view. His face most III
AN mistakenly pronounced him to be natiy
eir of Old England and the first word he spoE
md settled the question. What in the ell have yo
9TH been doing ERE ;, demanded he, but his eyes soc
w informed him better than his ears could have don
II His rage on beholding the eagle that most deteste
of all birds tola Blarsted Britisher," upon h
gate, and the signs of the times " which were
of his fence, well nigh bereft him of reason. f
hat rushed into his house and soon came forth with
nds fowlng piece but Tom and Bill had dropped the
IT'LL utensils and " fallen back.v Johnny Bulls voit
so soon raised hue and cry which would have ava
ted ened city of the dead much less the inhabitan