Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1866-05-26
Miscellaneous Sayings.

"Why will YOU persist in wearing an
other woman's hair on your head
asked Acid of his wife. She retorted,
"Why will you persist in wearing other
sleeps wool on your backs"
A poor man who had been i'll, on
peing asked by a gentleman whether he
had taken a remedy, replied: "No L
amt taken any remedy, but | have ia
ken lots of phYsic."
EE The St. Louis Democrat of Sat
urday, mentions that the price of hemp
is advancing. Has the indictment of
JEFF. DAVIS anything to do with i'll
A man boosted of eating forty-nine
hard-boiled eggs. "Why did you not
eat one more and make an even Fifty I
asked Sounds. 'Humph! you want a
man to make hog of himself just for
one egg
A lot of mutllated currency was re-
cieved lately at the treasury department
with the following note: "To the secre-
tary of the treasury-Sir, l send here
with some old veterans, who have done
the country some service, and are ready 20
be mustered out"
Nor YET INTRoDUcEp.-The wicked
editor of the Springfield Republican
says this :-'.Garters with diamont
buckles are worn with the new hoops il
Paris. 1t is impossible net TO see tina
they are not introduced here yet.
"CoLLIDE Josh Billings: 81 couio
never find the meaning of the word col
Tide > in Worcester or Webster. But, r
ding the Other day on the New Ior
Central railroad, | saw it all. 1t is til
attempt of two trains to pass each othc
on single track. If | remember CO
rectly, it was n signal failure"
A man in Charleston outwitted IL
Custom House officers who were E.
search of Struggled whiskey. Hearin
they were coming. he emptied the VIII.
key into a washtub, placed the tub Ut
der the caves, threw in a pail and mao
every thing look ike washing day. Tt
officer searched cellars, under beds, int
cupboards, closets, etc. but found no 10
uor, wheroupOn they apologized, an
left.
"A worthy man, when told that j.
was about to die, said he was "glad
it; he was tired of putting his shoes a.
stockings off and on" And this is abou
what life gets reduced to at seventy.
An old picture represents king
sitting in state. with label" 1 govers
ALA bishop with legend, 81 pray
for ALA soldier with motto, 81
fight for all."-and farmer, drawiDg
forth reluctantly purse, with the supers
cription, 81 pay for all. +"
-"Thank God that got my hat
back from this congregational said dis
appointed clergyman, turning it upside
down, when it was returned empty to him
at the close of a collection.
81 say. Jim," says OF friend to an
other on meeting, IL hear our friend A.
has been in the oil speculation heavily;
has he made anythingi" Eyes" says
Jim, she has made an assignment"
- Why is an author the most pecu-
liar of all animals? Because his ta.e
(taiD comes out of bis head.
"A grabbed old Bach was asked =
few evenings since. why belle was ap-
piled TO gay young ladies, and he re-
piled: because there is so much brass
in their composition" The querist
vamoseJ.
On the edge of small river in the
county of Caven, Ireland, there is
stone with the following inscription
"N, B.-When this stone is out Of
sight it is not safe to ford the river"
"A Spanish gentleman studying En-
glish, being at tea-table and desiring 10
be helped to some sliced tongue-in
Doubt as to the term, hesitated a mo-
ment and then said, l will thank you
miss, to pass me that language"
An old sehooImaster, who usually
heard his pupils once a week through
Watts Scriptural History, and afterwards
asked them promiscuously such cues
tons as suggested themselves to his miud,
one day desired a young urchin to tell
him who Jesse was, when the boy brisk
ly replied, 1.-THE Flower O. Durnblane :"
EE The Chicago Times (Copperhead)
has an article on the approaching trial Cf
JEFF. DAVIS. 1t says;
II is not probable that this trial will
lead TO the halter. If any body rejoices
at its approach in the hope that it will be
followed close by the avenger of blood,
it is probable that such n one mistakes
the object Of the trial the temper Of the
President, and the wishes of the people.
"A clerk in music store was nearly
oyerpowered by fastidious young !7dv
who wanted to purchase s'Mr. Thomas
Hood's-a-song of the-a-gentle-
mans under-garment p The clerk is
still alive.
HThe cheerfulness and energy with
which our citizens accept the condition. is
remarkable. Everybody is at work,
gathering up the fragments, and prepar-
ing for business again, with renewed
energy and vigor. Our business men
are made of the right kind of stuff, and
will never say die HsJsos Timer