The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1866-05-19

and with that she lightly rose, and be-
fore the old gentleman could free him
self from his wraps, or ward her off with
his mufletees, she had imprinted Il kiss
upon his horny check. Mr.. Beard
more's breath was so utterly taken away
by this assault that ne remained speech
less; but his countenance was probably
more full of expression than it had ever
been in his life. "Oh no, / am not
mad" laughed she, in reply to it, al
though L have taken fancy to such
wonderful old creature. Now come, if
l kiss you again what will you give
mc?"
"I shall give you in charge to the
police, madam, the instant that | ar
rive in Reading"
"Give me in charge What for, you
curious piece of antiquity?
Z" For an assault, madam; yes, for an
assault. Don't you know that you have
no right to kiss people without their
consent in this manner?"
Here the young lady laughed so vio-
lently that the tears came into her eyes.
"Do you suppose, you poor old dot
ing creature, that anybody will ever
believe such a story as that? ?" DO you
use such a thing as loolIing-glass, you
poor dear? Are you aware how very
unprepossessing your appearance is,
even when you don't frown, as you are
doing now in a manner that is enough
to frighten one? You have, of course,
a perfect right to your own opinion, but
if you suppose the police will agree with
you, you will find yourself much mista-
ken. The idea of anybody wanting to
kiss you will reasonably enough appear
to them preposterous."
"What is it you require of me, you
wicked creature ?" cried the old bache-
lor, in an agony of shame and rage.
81 want payment for my kiss. TO a
gentleman at your time of life, who
scarcely could expect to be so favored,
surely it is worth-what shall / say?-
five pounds. What! not so much ?
Well, here's another for your other
check" Like fash of lightning she
| SlllCu lllc dCtlOil W htl Noltto. llClt,
then, five pounds for the two, and won't
take shilling less. You will have to
give it to the poor's box at the police sta
ton, if not to me. For intend, in case
you are obstinate, to complain of you
disgraceful conduct to the guard at the
first opportunity. | shall give you into
custody, sir, as sure us you are alive.
You will be put upon your oath, you
know, and all you will dare to say will
be that kissed you, and not you me.
What roars of laughter there will be
in court, and how funny it will all look
in the papers ~ Here the young lady
began to laugh again, as though she had
already read it there. Mr.. Beardmore's
grim sense of humor was, as usual, ac-
Companied by keen dislike of appear
ing ridiculous. True, he hated to be
imposed upon; still, of the two evils,
was it not better to pay five pounds
than to be made the laughing-stock OF
his bachelor friends, who are not the
sort of people to conmiSeratc one in q
misfortune of this kind?
In short, Mr.. Ingot Beardmore paid
the money. Mr.. Thomas What1ies found
his guest that evening anything but
talkative. There was a select party OF
the male sex invited to meet him, by
whom the rich old drysalter was accus
toned 10 be regarded as an oracle; but
upon this occasion he had nothing tC
say; the consciousness of having beer
" done" oppressed him. His lips were
tightly sealed; his cheeks were still glow
ing from the audacious insult that had
been put upon them; his fingers clutch
ed the pOcket-bOok in which there was
a ative-pound note less than there Ough
to be. But when his host and himsel
were left alone that night, "seeing thu
old year out, and the new year in," hi
heart began to thaw under the genial in
fiuences of friendship and gin-punch
: and he told his late adventure to Ton
Whatiles, not without some enjoymen
of his own mischance.
, 81 could really almost forgive tn,
jade" said he, " for having taken me il
50 cleverly. / dare say, however, sh
makes quite profession of it, and tha
half IL score of old gentlemen have beer
= coerced before now into ranSOming thei
t good name as | did. And yet she wa
as modest and lady-like looking a cir
= as ever you saw"
! "Was she anything like His?" in
4 quired Mr.. Whailles, producing a pho
e tograph.
t "Why, that's the very girl" eXclaim
g ed the guest. I" "IIa, ha Tom; SO yol
g too, have been one of her victims, hav
= you? Well, now, this is most eXtraor
5 dinary."
n "Not all, my dear fellow. / knol
e her very well; and her sister, and he
t mother, and her brother too. i can in
+ troduce you to her if you like. There
e not the least harm in her; bless you
!, she only kissed you for a bit of fun"
S " A bit of funP cried Mr.. Beardmort
:, "Why, she got five-pound note out {
: meW
: "But she does not mean to keep it,
t am very sure. Would you like to Sc
G her again? Come, Yes or 'No9"
l. "If she will give me back my money
Yes"
Il every WELL" returned the host
~ "mind, you asked for her yourself +;
e and he rang the bell pretty sharpl
twice.
s. "Ilcre she is; it's your niece, Mi,
l. IuIia IInr mat hnr and Sistnr ara M,