The Shasta courier., 1866-01-27
The First Baby.

By the Rev. Mr.. -, S. W. Is. to Z. Il.
G. only daughter, etc mo cards. Why
not saw no baby? | have one of those inter
estine animals at my house. 1t came when
it rained, dark as pitch, and my umbrella at
the store, no cars running. The doctor lived
five miles due west, aud the nurse six miles
due east. and when got home to the bosom
of nv family, the condensed milkman was at
the next door 1t is funny little chip, that
babv. Solferino color, and the length of
Bologna sausage Cross? guess not. I'm.
um: it commenced chasing me down the
pathway of life Just when muslin, linen and
white flannel were the highest they had been
since Adam built n house for mother Ewes
chickens.
Doctors charged two dollars squint, four
dollars grunt, and on account of the search
ty of rain in the country, no discount tor
cash. and send bill for balance, January lst
A poor little thing is that baby a speck of
a'nose like a wart; head.as bare as squash,
and no place to hitch waterfall a NORTH
just suited to come the gum game and chew
milk. Oh, crackee, you should hear her
sing. have bumped it, stuffed my fur cap
down her throat, given it the smoothing iron
to play with, but that little red lump that
looks as if it couldn't hold blood enough to
keep a muskecter from faintng, persists in
yelling like thunder. 1t shows great de-
sire to swallow its fists, and the other day
they dropped down its throat, and all that
prevented their going clear through was the
crook of its elbows. 1t stopped its music and
L was happy one and a half minutes.
1t is a pleasant thing to have baby in
the house-one of your belly ache kind
Think of the pleasures of father in disha
billie, trembling in the midnight hour, with
his warm feet upon n square yard of cold oil
cloth, dropping paregoric in tin spoon by
moonlight ; somebody humping on the door,
wife Of your bosom shouting hurry, and the
baby yelling till the fresco drops from the
ceiling. 1t is nice time to think of dress
coats, pants, ties and white kids.
Shades of departed cocktails what comfort,
what picture for an artist in plaster paris,
Its mother says the darling is troubled with
wind on the stomach; it beats all the wind
instruments you ever heard. have to get up
in the cold while the milk warns !; it uses the
bottle / have a cradle with representation
of a miraculous soothing syrup bottle on the
dashboard. | tried to stop its breath the
other night; it was no go; rocked it SO
hard | missed the stays, and sent it slap clear
across the room, upsetting jar of preserves.
1t didn't make any noise then, oh, no
Its mother says only wait till it gets
bleached, lit has been vaccinated) and old
enough to crawl around and feed ON pins
Yes. I'm going to wait. Won't it be delight
tul? John, run for the doctor, sis has fell IL
the slop-pail and is choking with potato
skin; sis has fell down stairs, sis has swal
lowed the tack hammers shows signs of the
mumps, measles, Group, whooping cough
small pox, cholic, dysentery, cholera infant
UNI. or some other darn thing to let the doe
tor take all the money laid by for winter
corn beef, and all this comes of champoonine
and curling my hair, wearing nice clothes
looking handsome, and making my wife fal
in love and marry me.