The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1866-07-12
Anoersolt guteQigenter ,
Scraps, Facts and Fancies.

Scraps, Facts and Fancies.
- Perfect integrity and a properly
cooked beef-steak are rare.
Corn meal should never be ground
fine 1t Injuries its richness.
Amusements fer young ladies on a
wet aftornoon-Knitting their eyebrows.
To the charitable. A barrel of SUI
gar is wanted to sweeten gentleman
who has been "sourcd by misfortune"
If a girl is unfortunately stonc-blind,
let her get marriod-if that doesn't open
her eyes nothing will.
When soldier wants kiss what
military maneuvre does he perfolm? lie
goes to the "right face"
= The first law of fcmale nature, where
women are at all good looking, is self
preservation.
People perform the greater part OF
the voyage of life before taking on their
ballast i; hence so many shipwrocks.
Debt may bo compared to rat-trap
very easy to getinto, but often requires
hard squeezing to get out.
- No man is nobler born than another,
unless ho is born with better abilities and
a more amiable disposition.
"A wise man stands firm in all OK
tremities and bears the lot of his humani-
ty with divine temper.
Might labor, in time, will destroy the
student; for it is the marrow from his
own bones with which he fills his lamp
When O broker loses all his money,
he is dead broke; but when he dies, he is
q dead broker.
When gentleman stares at young
lady, and she staros at him, they are apt
TO mount to the region of love by pair
Of stares.
-aWere you ever cross-examined !"
eyes, when questioned by my wife, after
spending the evening abroad = cross
enough, in all conscience"
= Surely the most painful recollection
on earth is that of having had it in our
power to do good, and having neglected
TO do it.
voltaire is slightly personal, when
he says that ideas are like beards-mon
get them when they grow up, and women
never have any.
Have you heas I've saw fellow
who was scratching himself industriously,
and asked, have you feas? "Fleas"
said ho, contemptuously,-"str stranger, do
yon suppose I'm dog l-them's liceP
= As one single drop of black ink will
tfnge and pollute vessel Of crystal wa
ter, SO one little act of faithlessness may
irredeemably poison whole lifetime OF
the purest friendship and confidence.
An Irishman was summoned for re-
fasing to pay doctors bill, when ho was
asked why he refused. "What for should
pay" said Paddy; "sure he didn't give
me anything but some emetics, and the
niver one could I keep on my stomach
at ALL"
House flies may be effectually de-
stroyed without the use of poison. Take
half spoonful of black pepper, one tea
spoonful ofbrown sugar and one ofcrcam;
mix them we'll together, and place them
in the room on plate, where the flies
are troublesome, they will soon disappear.
"A lot of mutilated currency was re-
ceived lately at the treasury department,
with the following note: "To the Secre-
ssry of the Treasury-Sir: L have sent
herewith some old veterans, who have
done the country some service, and are
ready to be mustered out"
The pompous epitaph ola close-fsted
citizen closed with the following passage
of scripture:
aHe that giveth to the poor lendeth to
the Lord"
aDat may be-" soliloquised Sambo, "but
when dat man died, de Lord didn't owe
him o red cent"
What singular creatures girls are
Offer one of them good wages to work for
YOU, and ten chances to one if the old wo-
man can spare one of her girls. But just
propose matrimony, and see if they don't
jump at the change of working a lifetime
for their victuals and clothes.
"Ma," said an intelligent, thoughtful
bow of nine, 81 don't think Solomon was
30 rich as they say he was" "Why, my
dear, what could have put that into your