The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1866-03-29
Witty and Whimsical.

"It is a shame said a starved corset
maker, that /, who have stayed the stomachs
of thousands, should be without bread my.
self"
occasion 10 call on 4 SOLICITOR found him in his
office which was very hot. lie remarked the
great heat of the apartment, ana SAID 1T was
as hot as an oven 80 IL ougnt 10 De, re-
piled the lawyer: "ior lis mere l ""'6e my
brtdd.'
him captain: for middle aged lady, kiss her,
and saw that you mistook her for her daughter;
for young gentleman rising hfteen, ask his
opinion respecting the comparative merits OF
razor: for young ladies, if you know their color
10 be natural, accuse them of painting.
"Did YOU take the note, and did you see Mr..
Thompson Jack?'' "Ees, sir" And how
was he 80 "Why, he looked pretty well, but
he's very blind Blind! what do you
mean? - "Why, while wur in the room he
axed me where my hat wur, and I'm blessed II
it wur not on my head all the while
Too Loxa BY HALF.-On Il recent occasion, Il
gentleman was coming up from York, England,
by the Great Northern railway, and IL APP
peared-as i'll luck would have it-that there
sat opposite TO him Il gentleman with remark
able long legs which he was not very particu-
lar about digging into our friends knees. On
the arrival of the train at Bennington, the
long legged man observed TO his neighbor, "
shall get out and stretch my legs here bit, as
sir, don't do that said our friend, "for
am quite sure they are loo long by half al
ready
A fellow WAS told 1T u tailor's shop that
three yards of cloth, by being made wet, would
shrink one quarter of Il yard. Well, then,
he inquired, "if you should wet quarter OF
ayard, would there be amy of 1T left p
EeuIrY-A gentleman resident at Harrow
made frequent complaints to the masters of
the great school there of his garden being
stripped of it's fruit even before 1t became
ripe, but to no purpose. Tired of applying to
the mas tiers for redress, he at length appealed
to the boys, and sending for one TO his house,
he said, Z" Now, my good fellow, I'll make this
agreement with you and your companions.
Let the fruit remain OH the trees till 1t be-
comes ripe, and promise TO give you half.
The boy coolly replied, 8 can say nothing TO
the proposition, sir, myself but will make IT
known 10 the rest of the boys, and inform you
of their decision tomorrow. Tomorrow
came, and brought with il this reply: "The
gentlemen of Harrow cannot agree to receive
so unequal share, since Mr.. - is an indi-
vidual and we are many"
Rev. Mr.. Lindsay told a good story at the
Sunday School celebration at the Methodist
Church I'm Charlottesville the other day. He
said that the following occurred at a Sunday
school at the University of Virginia recently
between teacher and a new scholar:
Teacher.-My little boy, can you tell me who
killed Abel?
Scholar. ma'am.
Teacher.-Weil, now, my little dear, do not
be afraid-who killed Abel?
Scholar.-The Yankees.
Teacher.-Oh no, Johnny-we are not talk
ing about that-do you not know who killed
Abel?
Scholar insisted it was the Yankees.
Teacher-No my son; Cain killed Abel:
now, remember, think of sugar-canc / am
going TO ask you about il next Sunday. Think
Of sugar cane.
Next Sunday the boy was attacked again:
Teacher:-Weli, Johnny, you know TO day
. who killed Abeis
Boy.IOh Yes, ma am--must tell?
es, my dear who killed Abel?
boy.-SorGsum -Charlotteseilk CLroaicIe.