The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1866-12-20
yStraps, cGatts aud ganries.

. yStrays Jiatts aud dantiss.
1t is beauty's privilege to kill time,
but time always kills beauty.
-. Boosting is sometimes out of place
We once heard man boast of being a
bachelor as his father was before him.
- "Matchless misery" has been defined
to be having cigar and nothing to hight
it with.
An Irishman, applying for relief, be:
ing told to work for his living, replied, "if
I'd all the work in the world l couldn't
doit."
- Some men keep very savage dogs
around their houses, so that the hungry
poor who stop "get bite," may get it
outside the door.
Never meet trouble half way, but let
him have the whole walk for his pains
Very likely he may give up his visit in
sight Of the house.
- Every little fly and every little peb-
bls and every little flower, are tutors in
the great school Of nature to instruct the
mind and better the heart.
- A bill posted on the walls of coun-
try village announces that Ga lecture will
be delivered in the open air, and collec.
ton made at the door to defray expenses"
- An editors trials are legion until he
gets use to them, and he is the happiest
Of mortals-proyided, he has paying
subscription list.
"A good instance of absence Of mind
was an editor quoting from rival paper
one of his own articles, and heading it
aWretched Attempt at Wit"
"A horse thief was found sup a
branch" near Waco, Texas, the other day
Some how or other he got hung to limb,
and as the limb wouldn't break he lost his
life.
An Irishman on hearing of q friend
having stone coffin made for himself ex-
claimed: "By my sowl and that's good
idee. Sure and stone coffin 'ud last
man life time"
= A private soldier, entering the fight
at Mufreesboro saw rabbit running OH
the field. eco it, Molly Cotton TAIL" he
exclaimed eff didn't have reputation
to sustain, I'd be going it too"
An old offender was recently intro
duced to new country justice, as John
Simmons alias Jones, alias Smith. "Ill
try the two women frst," said the JUS
tice, "bring in Alice Jones"
- "Bob, you say that you believe most
diseases are contagious. How long have
YOU entertained such notions Z" "Ever
since sat alongside of blue eyed girl
and caught the palpitation of the heart"
The woman that has not touched the
heart of q man before he leads her to the
altar, has scarcely chance to charm it
when possession and security turn their
powerful arms against her.
"A young lady, the other day, asked
me: uWhat is your favorite fower?" |
supposed, of course, she referred to house
hold matters, and innocently answered.
aExtra family" For some reason or 9TH
enall the females in the room giggled.
- Mems lives should be like the day,
more beautiful in the evening; OF, like the
summer, aglow with promise, and tho au-
tumn, rich with the golden sheaves,
where good works and deeds have ripen-
ed on the field.
II there were only one sweet woman
IN tho world, should we not think her an
incarnate angel? And why should our
opinion be changed, simply because Prov
idence has been kinker to US than we de-
servo, in sending daughter OF Eve for
evarv son of Adam.
"A negro man about dying, was told
by his minister that he must forgive a
certain darkey against whom he seemed
to entertain very bitter feelings. eyes,
sah," he replied, "if dies, forgive dat
mig; but if gifts well, dat mig must take
care"
"Job printing! exclaimed an old
woman the other day, as she peepod over
her spectacles at the advertising page OF
a country paper. "Poor Job! they've
kept him printing, week after week, ever
since first larnt to read, and ifhe WASH It
the most patientest man that ever was, he
never could have stood it so Long, no
how"
"A poor woman and her child lately
settled in Western city, and were great
lyreduced and in need oftood. The child
seeing q chicken In the back yard, want
ed to KILT and have apotpie. "No, no, !"
said the mother "that would be wicked,
and God would surely punish you. J"
ssThen," said the youngster, looking up,
tilets nova bonl, to New York there ain't