New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1866-08-08
COINCIDENCE MONEY.

Another (priVately) weeping, waling, teeth-gnasl-
ing defaulter has sent sum Of stolen money TO the
Treasury Department. The last penitents conscience
must have been of most decatey sensitive charac-
ter. He had stolen very little lie was feon only
to the ridoulously small amount Of $40. His def
cheney was only what you may call kind Of financial
heabite. DE minimis non enrat ler-the Attorney
General would hardly have troubled himself to hunt
down such two.penny delinquent; for the cost would
infinitely have exceeded the damages. But the $40
10y exceedingly heavy upon the moral stomach OF this
ex-commissary, even as a bad oyster, however small
will for week disbolcaly derapge and disorder the
material stomach Of the swaower. Indeed nothing
would seem to be clearer than the fact that,
if a man would steal comfortably, and without dire
prcsentment OF future quam5 he must be sure to
take enough It would seem to be only the little pd
ding amounts which rasp the abstractors spiritual
nature The big thief can afford even costly consoa-
tons he can contemplate the wonders Of nature in
Switzerland Of art in Rome; he can indulge in every
thing that is pleasant and wicked in Paris; he can fly
upon the wings of the morning to the uttermost parts
of the earth; while poor devil of thief is shaking
in his stolen boots at home writing penitent letter
upon sheet of stolen paper, and making restitution
Of sum not worth retaining. IL may not be very
credtablc 20 our moral character but is fact that
they keep a separate conscience account at
the Treasury. The largest single contribution
ever received to the credit of this account
was only 81 600 The whole fund at present amounts
to only 500 OOOhardly the pckingS aud steaIings Of
single day during the palmy peculatiye times of tue
war. Clearly, the magnificent sons of shoddy have
not begun TO experience religion yet No sobbing
r., H., 10 ofnf
it! There is great chance still for pathetic notes
with practical Enclosures! .+4
There is something curious about it; but we have
never yet heard of government which men calling
themselves moral certainly respectable, did not think
il perfectly fair to fleece The business began in the
earliest ages, and everywhere has been steadily going
on ever since--under monarchies republics, per-
manent governments, and provisional, before du.
ring aud after revolutions. Men differ in their
other political theories, but they all agree
that Government is sort of milch cow and that lie
who can get the largest chance at the public teat is
the cleyerest fellow Shoddyism is as old as Greece
the Roman provincial governors Salust for example,
all stole like Jack Sheppards; the satraps of the.
Turkish Empire to this day are all thieves to man.
the greediness and pacity of the French mobiles left
Louis XIV. without sou in his pocket; in England
the public debt would be diminished by half if restu
ton could be made Of all the public money stolen
since the accession of the House Of Hanover; in Rus
STA, oil the Government officers steal as if thieying
commanded by the tenets of the Greek Church;
and the United States is the only country under the
sun in which nobody takes a cent of the public
cash which does not belong to him Happy land
But lest we might, by chance fall into these per.
nicous and expensive practices, we beg leave to sug
gest the establishment of Bureau Of Conscience at
Washington, to be differed by retired clergyman
and Fix serious clerks. Its building might be con-
structed in the form of church, with a very high
seeple and very loud bell. The business Of this
Bureau should be two-iod the distribution gratuit.
ousy of little tracts mildly intoxicating the doctrine
that IL is sin to steal pin much as any bigger
thing and, secondly, the care and management of
the restored funds which would possibly begin 20 |
come in as the tracts began TO operate. Words Of |
awful warning might be dispatched regularly 10 all
the postmasters. Dissuasive appeals might be for
warded once month to collectors, navy agents. and
assistant treasurers. During the session Of Congress
members might be manipulated in person, and besought
by The Head of the Bureau topck no and to pay
back the pchngs Of tle past All the penitcnt letters
received might be published annually in volume.
Daiag!scrS might 10 raaueatad TO aead back ut least