The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-05-25
Mistellaueolls.
NAsBY.

CoxrEDERIr Y ROADS, (wich is
in the Sait Nv Kentucky.l
March 30, 1866.
hev bin TO washinton. That Ablishun Post
master ut the Corners he'd become to me nite'
mare Day after day seed him handlin guy
ment money, DRAWN his salary promptly anu TAX,
in his drinks reglerly, while l.. Constitooshne!
Dmekrat, n supporter nv our great ana good
President, wuz forced to the huniliashun Nv wait
ing till | wus treated, ceptin when a new grocery
keeper came in, wich gave me chance to stao'
lish credit for short time. felt that suthing
must be done, and, therefore l went to Washin-
ton.
KNOWN that for men NV my profound eonyx-
shins, holdin my views To concilliashen ana sch.
he'd no call to 20 TO the Postmaster General,
who is q Ablishnst, went directly to the Second
Jaxon hisselE succeeded In getting audience
ut n late hour. Our patron saint wuz a sittin at
a table eggausted with receivin delesashuns and
sch.
swell 7" sed he.
"Honerd aud spectej sir" said I, 81 am APP
plicaut sor the post orfs at Confedrit Roads,
wich Is at present held by q Ablishnist who does
not bleeyc In yoor policy, wich ! do bleeye In
solemnly. Spected and honored sir" sed l, "ef
shood hev twins born unto me TINS mite shood
name em both Policy"
"Wich Stait are you from 7" sed he half asleep.
"From Kentucky, honered and spected SIR"
swell sell he yawnin feerfully, and turnin to
clerk, "Fill cut pardon and give him q COM
mission"
"Honerd and spected sir" sed l. In fit Of loo
nacy for wich can't account, 81 don't need q
pardon. wuz never in the late lamented Con-
iedrit scrvis"
what'n thunder then are 700 here for begin q
post orfs Git out 700 imposter, and wns to
wunst ANONYMOUSLY shO0n the door. l didn't
quite understand the lay Nv the land around the
White House
In vain tried to get back that mite convince
him did es much for the Confedracy cs my hum
BILE abilities permitted, and that needea o%non. Sn.
liashun es badly es ennebody. Then heart broke
and ded broke, not hevin the wherewith to pro-
koor more sootable lodging, lay me down ON the
cold stun steps and sought refuge from my trou'
bles In sleep.
4 dreamed dream. Methawt wuz In q room
in the White House. Stretched out ON one sae
NV the room wuz the corpse Nv giant, mon
ster in sire and strength, but withal NV pleasln
presence and fair to look upon. Onto its head
wus liberty cap, and by Its side wuz sword
considerably dinted, and with oil the g'ldin
knocked oH.
"Wat is these" sed I. pinting to the corpse,
askin sort Nv attendant.
''Them," replied he. sis the defnnct karkiss NV
epublcanism. He was hefty youth In his day
but he diel this mornin. Look the mourners
are comm to divide his clothes"
And shoor enuff they cum In. At the he'd wuz
the second Jaxon which the Ablishnists derisively
call Moses, who appeared to be angry. AMI clost
behind him wuz Seward o weepin out Nv one eye
aud smilin out NV tother, and Jim Lane who
he'd hankercher wich he occasionally put to his
eyes, but wich uotst wus es dry es q lime KILN,
aud Doolittle and Lee and Raymond and Beaure.
gard and Cowan and Stephens and Thurlow Weed
aud Vallandiggum and Guyner sharkey ana q
host NV others. oil Nv wich ranged themselves
round the beer.
"TIe wuI promisin yooth," sed Seward . put
tin his Handkerchief to his eyes, but the a'mos
phere NV the White House wus much for him.
| insist, however," sed he, n pocketn the banker
cher aud takin holt Of trinket the corpse held IN
his hand tabled presidency. 1868, from wich
hung moren million Nv smaller trinkets "that Ct
twas inc that pirened him, this Is mine"
| "Nary," sed johnson. 81 did the bisiness fo'
| him and It's mine"
"Seltle il es 700 please" sed Raymond, gently
"but whoever gifts Il must remember that thls
Secretsrryship is mine,
"And l." sed Doolit,le, "mu.t hev for my as
sistance, this little affair marked st. James,, for
my seat in the Sennit Is = goner."
"Por my part" sed jim Lane, "the Western
appointments is mine. Its worth en- all to wear
| this collar"
"My friends" !" scd Stephens, 81 fnl no amnes
| ty about the corpse. There must be one manu-
tacturcd and stuck in his pocket to be prodoos'
| at the funeral 80
ThurIow Weed sed uothin, but looked on with
sardonic smile. KNOWN perfeckly we'll that who.
ever took the biggest part Nv the plulder he'd
| control II any way.
Gov. sharicy laid claim to u secrstaryship. and
Boregard to the place Nv sherman, snd Leo y
| and tother feer that, aud there WAS terrible
hubbub over the corpse. Wilkes Booths gosi
| cum In and wantid to know wat he wuz to hcv In
the new deal, for, sed he, "ef hadn't bin for mi
where'd 700 all have bin Talk nv the white
House atmosphere KILN him l am shoor iht
| shalider M tha huillin hlastri wat tic of his
spirit 700 he'd, sed he turnin to Seward, "but
| Lnkn lived, ha T! ha :" sed he In atragedy voise
Then In trooped lot Nv other costs. There Wi
Bill Allen Nv Ohio, and Jeems Bukanon NV Penn
| Thayer, aud Lew. Campbell, and Garrit Davis
who started to make o speech, but the entire as
semblage stuck their fingers in their ears, which
hint he took for the 6rst tmc in hi life and desist
cd. .,
Finally johnson swore "by the eternal" th'
not the noshun from the first A. J. which b
thinks he resembles, Coz h,s initials b the same
and cor the original vetoed bull wunst,) that b,
| wood bey the Presidency and gobbled 1t. Sewart
he snstshed at Il and they tussled. The company
stood by to see Il out for IL made but h'tle diuer
encs ~ them which got It. In the skrinage
johnson happened to ram Seward up agin Nin
| dow on the north side Nv tho room and smashet
Il out. Just then blast nv north WIND poufet
into the room through the aperture and oloyet
onto the lace Nv the corpse. rhs enect Was eieo
trikie Lille ran through his veins, nus ncc uusn
Cd and the liyid hus MAS changed TO the ruddj
glow Nv health. The dead Was alivs-ths gian
rose to his feet, and looked around him, shakir
| Of them e. Was hangin to him like insex. No
| ticin the trinket which had caused the skirmag,
| In Johuson's hand, hs took him by the neck snt
tuistiu it out nv his hand dung him gentl,
Who 70 give this ~. but 700 bet Il sint you.
| said he. 80 rlbli 'l f. .. D. ..