Cleveland daily leader. [volume] ([Cleveland, Ohio]) 1865-1873, 1866-08-31
The EsOu,ance of Croquet

some hints, and he owned himself per-
fectly astonished at the facilities afforded
for serious Irritation by this admirable
game. "Give me-" he exclaimed, "a GRO
quot party and the object of my affec-
tiogs, and my success is certain
For the benefit of futtering firters l
carefully observed the game, and press
the following account dramatically rem
Iered, to the notice of young ladies and
gentlemen, in order that they may know
The difficulties to be untered in the
pursuit of the interesting science of out
0f-door- firting-in-croquet company.
Energetic Croguet Player (who gets up
the game and who means "the game, the
whole game, and nothing but the game")
Now then Sides Here Potyl
To Romantic Young Man, who being
inclined to corpulence, was when
boy, called HPottvn at school.
Rom0Htie Youth thinks to himself.) l
wish 10 goodness he wouldn't call me
Potty tlooks fUrtively TO see if Miss Ger
trude Limit noticed it; is satisfied that
ane didn't, and answers briskly,) Yes
Energetic Player. You'll take Miss
Dowiy for partner.
Mss Dowdy, maiden lady, age un-
certain.
Romantic Youth thinking It's just like
his luck. becomes suddenly glum-) OH
Very Well.
Mss Limit with a sweet smile.)
Whose side am l en-?
Energetic Player. Oh You're my
partner.
Romantic Youth sees an opportunity lost;
he might have said something with
deep meaning about being partners"
He puts his mallet under his arm like
an umbrella, and regards Miss Gertrude
with melancholy.
Mss Doa0dy with such look) We're
partners, Mr. Prinkie.
The Romantic Youths name. He bows,
and wishes Miss Gertrude would look
at him, aud see how wretched he is.
Energetic Player Ito two others.) You'll
play, won't you? and Wen have three a
side
The two new ones are a ehatty pleasing
looking Young Lady, and a Comic
Man with reputation in his part of
the country.
Young Lady Miss Wilson.) With
pleasure. But I'm afraid you'll find me
rather what Mr. Rummal (the Funny
Man) would call "s muffn
This leads to little laughing and talking. 7
Romantic Youth (who has managed to
side up about IS quick ly and mysteriously
as the Ghost in the Corscian Brothers
to Miss Limits side). 1 wish we finds
that his voice has almost disappeared)-
Aheml (Clears his throat, but still finds
that his uDdertone, in which he intends to
say his sweet things, it uncommonly
gruf.) I wish that we were { struggles
with his throat) partners. This last word
sinks altogether.
Hiss LiHnit Cooking straight at him
with "those eye" and speaking, he thinks,
unnecessarily loud). What?
Romantic Youth feeling that he'd bet
ter not be too preeipitate and trying to
adopt tone somewhat below hers, and
abeye his former ore)-I said, 1 wish
that-(suddenly changes the entire
phrase) that we were playing together.
Mss Limit Ia little disappointed, per-
haps, but not showing it)-0h Yes, i wish
we were. Laughs and looks toward the
other players.
Romantic Youth, experiencing some
difficulty in selecting the best things out
of the lot he's got to say, is silent. He
has just hit upon a commencement
when
Energetic PlGyer-New, then, Pottyl
You begin.
Funny Nan much amused )-Potty
Who's Potty?
Energetic Player loudly explains while
Romantic Youth, missing his first hoop,
and feeling that he is not showing to
advantage, becomes depressed
Miss limit My turn? Discovers
dainty ankle, pretty little croquet shoe
and stoeking.) Am 10 go here2 Funny
man instructs her Romantic Youth
thinks him officious) May hold it like
this ? Energetic player explains to her
the best mode of grasping tho mallet.)
Romantic Youth would have liked to have
interfered, but has nothing to say on the
subject.) 1 hope I shall have better for
tune than Mr.. Prinkie. Looks coquet-
ishly towards Romantic One, who smiles
grimly as if the world and its pleasures
were naught to him now. She plays and
makes her first hoop triumphsntly.)
ThereI
Funny Man. Pottys potted, Ell
General laugh, in which Romantic Youth
is obliged to joiL, and wishes that the
Red Sea, or something, would sweep all
funny men off the face of the earth.
Romantic Polsth-(as the game pro-
gresses he sees Miss Limit standing
apart by her ball, and gradually gets up
to her side in the "Corsican Brothers
ghost style as before)-You'ye been
croqued out here2
He fr5a- 2 rov,, l,or rrbaF fIo Ifol-o1-
was he had arranged to say.
Mss Limit docking staaight at him,
and understanding all about it at once).
"Yes. Very unkind, wasn't it?"
Romantic Yoatth (absently). "Yes."
Doesn't see that her remark leads to any
thing, and thinks he's wasting time.
Miss Limit thinks so, too.
Energetic Player (interrupting some
stroke in the middle of the ground). Il
say, when two balls are kissing,you know,
you can't"
Explains what you can't, &c
Romantic Youth (hazily seeing an op-
portunity, says in an undertone, II didn't
know that (feels his throat getting hot,
but continues) 'there was kissing allowed
at this game
Looks at her tenderly. As there's pow
erful sun, he finds that couple of Sec
onds of fixed gazing makes his eyes wa
ter. He averts them, and IS conscious
Of blinking unrcmantically.
Mss Limit (who won't follow suit,
says carelessly.l Didn't you?
Romantic Youth feels inclined to say,
angrily, No, didn't" but substitutes,in
s plaintive tone-) I've been longing to see
you for
Is going to add, the last three days
Energetic Player (unconsciously.) Now
then, Tive Blue THAT is, Miss Linnit) it's
your turn.
Miss Limit mot approving of too pow
erful demonstration in public). Oh,
beg your pardon, I'm sure.
I At once hits her ball sharply, and walks
after it.
Romantic YoutA 0ooks after her bitter
ly, and wishes he hadn't wasted his time |
in talking about croquet instead of saying |
something to the point. Sighs.) Ali
Funny Man. Now then, Potty, show US
what you can do. Romantic Youth
wishes he might show him what he could |
DO, and then misses an easy stroke.) Oh, |
butter-fBgers
General laugh. Romantic One thinks
what conceited. Ass that fellow is
Chatty Young Lady I'm afraid 1 can't
10 this stroke without spooning. May 1
spoon?
Funny Nan Qoudlyl. You mavnt