Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1866-06-23

j
GRATED.
A PERTINENT INQUIRY.-Not long
since one of our citizens, quite an owner
of horse and mule flesh, started to the
stable in a tremendous hurry to saddle
mule. In HE haste, he got the saddle
on rice Uersd, wrong end foremost, when
q stranger standing by remarked
You have that saddle on wrong. sir"
Our friend took in the situation at
glance, but not in the least Disconnected,
cody surveyed bis informant, and iuquir-
ed J.:
Look here, stranger, how in thunder
do you know ,Chich ,C0y I am going g
So. Cloud Democrat.
HUMoR-Why is a restless sleeper
like lawyer Because he lies on one
side, and then turns and lies on the other
How does hairdresser end his
days ? He curls up and dyes. And n
sculptor ! He makes faces and busts.
"A New York paper calls the ccre
mony of young ladies kissing each other,
dreadful waste of the raw material.
A dandy inquired at fruit stand {:
"Are these apples fit for a hog to eat g"
"Try them aud see" said the apple
woman.
Don't care much about the bugs"
said Mr.. Swink, "but the truth is, I've
not got the blood to spare"
CoRsETs are ROW being made of
leather. This is doubtless in obedience
to the poets request
Hide, oh hide those hills Of snowr'
Hon. Z. B. Washburn, of the
GaIena district, H., has been renomi.
mated, by the Republicans for Congress.
This is a fitting acknowledgement of
the services Of faithful representative.
OVER NICE.-The bachelor editor of
the Salt Lake Vidette. who appears TO
be very sensitive in relation to his rights,
objected 10 taking wife, through fear
that if she should have baby, his Co
temporaries, who babitually copy without
credit. would refuse to give him credit
for the baby.
A little fellow not moro than five years
of age, hearing some gentleman at his
fathers table discussing the familiar line.
AN honest mans the noblest work of
God," SAID he knew it wasn't true; his
mother was better than any mau that
was ever made.
Bs- Said an old topper to bis comrade
the other day: "If one SWALLOW made a
summer, what tropical region would
your stomach be. old fellow"
GE Some enthusiastic having been
eulogizing the girls of re, witty editor
replies that they are not to be compared
with the girls from l6 to 20.
= Ben. Shilaber, the original and
inimitable Mrs. Darlington" gives the
following touching bit of autobiography /:
have done the main work of my life,
and fifty years old" is no promoter of
new impulses. l am growing ancient,
and my bobolinks have all turned TO rice
birds eating. but rarely singing. am
like Florence Percy a month before her
last marriage-"al my fields are turning
brown" or, again, like tho Yankee at
White Plains-"I don't take no interest"
My family has grown up, my youngest
being thirteen; my son is just married !;
and with a grandson by my daughter
who married an officer of the navy, l
have a right to the quiet that years of
grandpa.ernity should bring.
A BALTIMORE rebel declares that two
million dollars bail for JEFF. Davis could
be obtained in that city in five hours
Would it not be a good plan TO allow
these wealthy sympathizers the privilege
of taking heavy stock in the reduction
Of the national debt
A flower is sweeter the moro it is
pressed. So is young woman.
DoBBs says girls are like cucumbers
always old enough when big enough.
THE question why printers do not sue
coed rs well as brewers, was thus
answered because printers work for the
bead and brewers for the stomach, and
where twenty men have stomach but one
has brains"
RECIPE for instantaneously removing
superfluous hair-undertake to kiss a
spunky woman against her will.
-Voltaire is slightly personal, when
he says that ideas are like boards men
get them when they grow up, and
women never have any,
at is highly important, when man
makes up his minde tew bekum raskall,
that be shud examine hisself clusly, and
see if he amt better CONSTRUCTED for a
phOOl."
'AH. Jenny" said a sympathising
friend to man who was just too late for
the train. "you did not run fast enough"
Eyes did," said Jenny, ~ run fast
enough, but l did not start soon
enough"
"When was Ruth very rude TO Boaz
When she pulled bis ears and trod on
: bis corn.