Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1866-07-14
HUMOROUS.
WIT AND HUMOR.

"A young lady says the reason VIII,
she carries parasoI, is that the sun il
of The masculine gender, and she canno
Withstand his ardent glance, s-sas- sfs
"A man got tipsy, and INDUCED Ia 6
nights sleep in country graveyard =
On opening his eyes in the morning, he
noticed the motto on gravestone-
'fHe is not dead, but sleepeth." ''When
am dead, )" he remarked with great de,
liberation, 'T'll own mp, and have no
such statement as-that above my car
cass." g s. - IS -
The first victim of trichina was
Herod, ''He was eaten of worms and
gayeup the ghost.
"A soldier on trial for habitual
drunkenness, was addressed by the
magistrate:
rs'Prisoner, you-have heardthe charge
of habitual drunkenness; what have
you to say in defenseY fs..se tEa4
Nothing, please your honor, but ha-
bitual thirstATG 1{lb 81
-tWhat do the Arabs of the desert
live on, pap" asked a rogueish girl
of Der father. -.- 49, ----.- -
Fudge, Nelly, that is an old conun-
drum, They live upon the sand ackick
is (sandwiches) there"
eyes; but pa, how do they get 'em?"
"Well, really, Nelly, you have me
there. 1 give it up
"Wby, pa, don't you know that the
sons of Ham are bred and mustered in
the wilderness?" %#h IS 4
at'Come, come, my daughter, that is
too killing; don't say another word.
''Ohl yes, do tell me what they eat
on their sandwiches"
"Eat on 'em? why, what do they eat
on emp" ..0..s
"Bntter, to be SURE 1"'<"
''Bntterl how do they get their but
ter?''~
why, you know pa, that when Lots
wife was turned into pillar of salt, all
the family but her ran into the wilder
nessp'
"A Paris architect is said to have
invented brick that hardens with time,
and completely resists humidity. This
is certainly nothing new. We have had
a species of "brick1 in this country for
many years, that hardens with time and
is perfectly impervious to water.
Let go the jib therel-quick!-1 let
go!" shouted the captain of an eastern
packet to a raw hand, as asudden squat
came up. -
whats all that yelling about2 L
amt touching your jib!' honestly re-
torted Jonathan.
"A good natured fellow, who was
nearly eaten out of house and home by
the constant visits of his friends, was
one day complaining bitterly of his nu-
visitors.
'Shure and I'll tell ye how to get rid
of EN-" said an Irishman.
"Pray how?"
''Lend money to the poor ones, and
borrow money of the rich ones, and
nather sort will liver trouble you agin."
"A witty young lady who has broken
a score of hearts IN her time, married
lately. She sent to young gentleman
who had been very devoted to her, |
land whom she had terribly Tilted |
along with bit of wedding cake, a
nOssed string, accompanied with the
following verses:
DEAR STREPHoN:
''In Chloe lost, consider what ven lose,
And for the bridal knot, accept this moose;
This healing slip-bnot, dextrOusly applied,
VIII helpyou bear the loss of such bride.
l.fs t5st.-g 81 "CHLoE."
He returned the moose to her with |
the following reply:
''DEAR CHLOE:
''YOur gift as a symbol. with candOr you chose; |
My narrow escape almost every one knows;
As u gift from lady, ought not to refuse it,
But your husband, you know, may sooE want
to use it.
Aud 80, by the bearer, your gift | restore,
For your bridegroom will want it ere the hon
ey-moOns DER. STREPHON." y