The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1866-03-03
MADAM SCANDAL.

a long time ago, In the western par
of England, there lived an aged couple
whose time passed away since earl
youth in the every day round of farm
life, and who had never been known to
have the least i'll feeling towards each
other since the time when good old
Parson Harlot had united them in the
holy bonds OF wedlock, twenty five years
before. SO well was the tact of their
conjugal happiness known that they
we're spoken of far and near as the hap
piest pair in England. Now the Devil
(ex"use the abrupt mention of his name)
had been trying for twenty years to
create what is called fuss in the fam
lily" between these old companions.
But. much to his modification, he had
not been able to induce the old gentle
man to grumble about breakfast being
too late or the old woman to give SIM
gle curtain lecture.
After repeated efforts, the Devil
became discouraged, and had he not
been person of great determination, he
would doubtless given the work up In
despair. One day as he walked along
in very surly mood after another at
tempt to get the old lady to quarrel
about the pigs getting into the yard, he
met an old lady. "A neighbor of the aged
couple. As Mr.. Devil aud the neighbor
were very particular friends, they needs
stop on the way and chat little.
Good morning. sir, said she. "and
pray what on earth makes you look 50
bad this morning? Isn't the controver.
sy between all the churches doing ser.
vice p
Yes"
"lsn't Deacon W. making plenty of
bad whiskey ?"
Yes"
"M ell what is the matter, my highly
honored master?'
"Everything is going on we'll enough, .
replied the Devil, but (and he looked
as sour as monkey on crab apple tree
old Blucford and his wife over here are
injuring the cause terrib y by their bad
example and after trying four years tc
IndIce them to do right, | must say
consider them hopeless"
The hag stood moment in deer
thought.
Are you sure you have tried every
way ?"
5 Every way I can think Of"
"A'eyou certain 2"
Yes"
"Nell,' replied she, "it YOU will
promise to make me Il present Of new
pair of shoes in case | succeed, [ viii
;, make the attempt myself, and see if
s can raise quarrel between them"
. To this reasonable request the Devi
t gladly assented The old hag went hel
way to old Blueford's house, and tount
Mrs Blueford busily engaged in getting
t things ready for her husbands comfor
I on his return from work After th'
b usual compliments had passed, the fol
y lowing dialogue took place
"Well, friend B., you and Mr.. B
have lived long time together"
Five aud twenty years, come Nc
vember,' said she.
: "And all this time you have neve
had quarrel %
|. Not one"
IL am truly glad to hear it," contin
ued the hag; II consider it my duty /
warn you, though this is the case, yo
must not expect it to be always. Hav
you not observed that Of late Mr.. B. ha
grown pevish and sulen at times ?"
"a very little So" observed Mrs
Blueford,
81 knew it," continued the hag, Can
let me warn you to be on your guard. "
"Mrs. Is. did think she had better d
so, aud asked advice as to how ST.
should manage the case"
"Heve you not noticed, said the has
"that your husband has bunch OF lon
harsh hair growing under the chin, sid
OF his throat ?"
Yes"
These hairs are the cause of tn
trouble, and as long as they remain, yo
had better look out. Now as a irien
| would advise you to cut them off rh
frs time you get a chance, and thus en-
the trouble, aud A. long as they remain
you had better look ont"
Soon after this, the hag started fc
home. aud made it convenient to NEE
Mr.. b. on the way. Much the sam
talk in relation to his domestic huppnes
s? passed between him and the old woman
N But, friend Bluetord, said she, "
,. think il my duty as Christian, to war
S, you to be on your guard, for | tell 20
e your wife intends your ruin"
Old MIR. B. was very much astonisl
'3 ed, yet he could not wholly discredit he
worGs. When he reached home. i
threw himself on bed in perplexit!
:. and ieigning himself asleep, studied til
no no matter over in his mind. His vii
he thinking this a good opportunity for Gu
r. ting off the obnoxious hair, took he
1T husbands razor, and crepU softly to b
ed Sida Noyu rho old lady was mur