Columbia democrat and star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1867, 1866-12-05
A Little too PunctuaI:

| boys, fruit venders, cabmen and dock loaf
ers, were assembled on and about the boat.
We were gazing at the motley group from
the foot of the deck stairs, when our atten-
ton was attracted by the singular action of
a tall, brown Yankee. in an immense wool
hat, chocolate colored coat and pantaloons,
and fancy vest He stood near the star
board paddle-box, and scrutinized sharply
every female who came on board, every now
and then consulting an enormous silver bull
eye watch, which he raised from the depths
of capacious fob by means of powerful
steel chain. After mounting guard in this
manner, he dashed furiously down the gang
plank, up the wharf, re-appearing on board
almost instantaneously, with flushed face,
expressing the most intense anxiety. This
series of operations he performed several
times, after which he rushed about the boat,
wildly and hopelessly calculating:
whats the time of day? Wonder if
my repeater's fast? Whar's the cap'n?
Whar's the steward Whar's the mate ?
Whar's the boss that owns the ship p
Whats the matter2'' we ventured to
ask him, when he had stood for moment.
tHain't seen nothing of gal in blue
sun-bonnet, with canton Grape shawl, (cost
fifteen dollars, pink gown, and brown boots,
hey? come aboard while ] was looking for
the cap n at the hind end of the ship-have
ye, hey ?"
'No such person has come on board.
''Tormented lightning She's my wife, y
he screamed; married her yesterday. Ali
her trunks and mine are aboard under the
pile of baggage as tall as Connecticut ste
pie. The darned black nigger says he can't
hand it out, and won't leave my baggage
anyhow My wife, only to think of it, was
to come aboard at half past four, and here
it s most FIVE. What's become of her? She
can't have eloped. We han't been married
long enough for that. You don't think
she's been abducted, do ye, mister? Speak
-answer-won't ye? o, I'm raving, dis
tracted What are they ringing the bells
for? Is the ship afre?
''It is the signal for departure-the first
bell. The second will ring in four minutes.
Thunder you don't say so! Whar's s
the capn?"
That gentleman in the blue coat"
| The Yankee darted to the captain side.
'Cap'n stop the boat for ten minutes,
won't yeu?'
Cant do it sir.
But We must, tell ye. IN pay you for
it. How much viii ye tax p
L could not do it.
''Cap'n I'll give ye tew dollars" gaspod
the Yankee.
The Captain shook his head
'In give ye FIVE dollars and half-and
half-and half" he kept repeating,
dancing about in his agony, like mad jack
ass on a hot iron platter.
THE boat starts at FIVE precisely" said
the captain and turned away.
| 80 you Sunny, hard-hearted heather -
murmured the Yankee, almost bursting into
tears. ''Partin' man and wife, and we just
one day married |"
! At this moment, the huge paddle-wheels
| began to paw the water, and the walking
beam descended heavily, shaking the huge
ing to New Haven were ashore The hands
began to haul in the gang-plank; the fast
enings were already cast loose.
LET go that plank - roared the Yankee,
collaring one of the hands. drop it like a
hot potato, or I'll throwyou into the dock y
"Yo-yo' shouted the men in chorus,
as they heaved on the gangway.
"Shut up you braying donkeys!' yelled
the maddened Yankee, ''or there will be an
ugly sort of work y
But the plank was got aboard, and the
boat splashed past the pier. In an instant,
the Yankee pulled off his coat, flung his hat
on the deck, and rushed wildly to the qua rd
'Are you drunk or crazy?" cried a pas
senger, seizing him.
Il am going to fling myself into the dock
and swim ashore' - cried the Yankee. Il
mustn't leave Sary Ann alone in New York
city. You may divide my baggage among
ye-let me go-I can swim u
/ He struggled so furiously that the conse-
queuce of his rashness might have been fatal
had not sudden apparition changed his
purpose. A very pretty woman, in blue
bonnet white Canton Grape shawl, pink
dress and brown boots came toward him.
The big brown Yankee uttered one stentori-
Gus shout of "Sary Ann y clasping her in
his arms, in spite of her struggling, and
kissing her heartily, right before all the pas
| sengers.
tgWbare did vou cona from 7' he in
quired.
''From the ladies' cabin, answered the
bride. ''You told me half past four, but l
would make sure, and came at four.
ga little too punctual " said the Yankee.
gRut It's all right now Go ahead steam