Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1866-08-25
HUMOROUS.
WIT AND HUmOR.

heart and soul-Over every llfe-large
enough for a star to look between the
clouds, and for the skylark happiness
to rise heavenward through and sing
in. ~-.. -.
"A landlady, who had some very
weak chicken broth for dinner the other
day for dinner, was asked by one of her
boarders if she couldn't coax that
chicken to wade through the soup once
morei
If you are disquieted with any
thing, you should consider with your
self, is the thing of that worth, that for
it / should so disturb myself and lose
my peace and tranquility?
Mr. Pullup, coming home late,
pretty FULL" finds the walking slip
perry, and he exclaims: ''V-v-very
singular, when water freezes it allus
fr-freezes with the slippery side up;
singularl'
"A certain newly elected Irish May
or, speaking of a certain article in
vivacious newspaper, observed: 81 des-
pise those under hand attacks. When
/ write an anonymous letter, L always
sign my nome to it.
| AT a celebration of a marriage,
large number of young ladies present,
the minister said, "thOse wishing to be
| Joined in the holy bonds of matrimOny
will please stand up" and nearly all
the young ladies arose!
| BY laying piece of charcoal on a
burn, the pain subsidies immediately.
By leaving the charcoal on one hour,
the wound is healed, as has been dem
onstrated on several occasions.
"A French princess being told that
the poor in Paris were dying of starva-
ton, said, "What silly people! Be
fore L d ta1vel'd eat lr6ad and NUT
ton"
do you suppose that you can do
| the landlord in the Lady of LyOnsY ="
said manager to a seedy actor III quest
of an engagement. 81 should think l
might, was the reply, 81 have done a
great many landlords. "
An English married lady has con-
suited her lawyer on the question
whether, having married her husband
for his money, and that money being all
spent, she Is not widow and at liberty
4 W GCCtoiOh iCoCANNNs
"A gentleman asked Rothschild's adj
vice as to specializing in the finance and
banking companies mt that time III high
favor. go, yes" was the advice, "but,
If you do speculate, my friend, you
must do as you would In shower bath
soon in and soon ont"
Marshal Benedek, after the battle
of Sadowa, said to the correspondents
of the newspapers: "You may tell ALL
There is no way of palliating this mis-
fortune. An honorable leader takes all
the fault upon himself 1 am respon-
sible for all that has happened"
Why is a human heart like whale?
Because, first, it is "a sea creeter ,secre-
teri of great size (sighs); because. sec
ondly, when 1T is caught, it is likely to
be tried; and thirdly, lastly, and to
conclude, it is what the blubber comes
from.
"A Man newly married, being about
to leave home, said to his wife: "Now,
Julia, you may do anything you please
| while I'm away, except ride fowler, the
house dog. j." ride Jowlerl what do you
mean?" ''Never mind, only warn you
not to ride Jowler." When the hus-
band came home Julia had black eye
and an arm in a sling. "Why, Julia,
what's the mattor?" "Well you told
me not to ride FOWLER. and thought it
must be very nice or you wouldn't have
told me not to do it, so / got on his
back and he threw me down stairs.
CURIOUS PREPARATION FOR BAPTISM.
In New Zealand, in the cannibal time
a chief with ten wives was told that he
could not be baptized unless he confin-
eel himself to one. At the end of about
two months he repaired to the nearest
missionary and stated that he had got
rid of niue. "What have you done
with them, was the natural interroga-
tory" L have eaten them," was the
reply.
The cleaver housekeeper is a pearl
among women; she is one of the prizes
In the great lottery of life, and the man
who draws her may rejoice the rest of
his days. Better than riches, she is a
fortune in herself. Preceptive and execu-
tive, of quick sight and steady hand, she
always knows what is wanting, and
supplies the deficiency with tact and
cleverness peculiar to herself. She
knows the capabilities of persons as
well as of things, for she has an intui-
tive knowledge of character. If not al
ways patient, she is always energetic,
and can never be disappointed into in
action. Though she has to teach the
same thing over and over again, and
though she finds heads as dense as box
wood, and hands as inefficient as fishes
fins, still she is never weary of her vo-
cation of arranging and ordering,
and never less than hopeful of a favor
able result. eF
"A gentleman cOnversing with lady |
friend, a short time since, claimed that |
he could parodize on the hoop question |
any verse that she might choose to res
peat. She accordingly rehearsed the |
following verse from the sold Sexton:
Nigh to a grave that was newly made
Leaned sexton old on his earth worn spade. /
His work was done, and he paused to wait
The funeral train In the open gate;
relic Of by gone days was he, E
and his locks wero as white as the fOamy sea-
And these words came from his lips 80 thin,
Il gather them iul gather them ipl'"
Whereupon, the graceless fellow took
his pencil. and thus wrote upon a scrap
of paper lying by: ~
Nigh to a church that was newly made Is
Stood a lady fair, and thus she said
Too bad, too bad-I here must wait
While they measure the breadth of this open
gate: -f9d 81
Ali tits only NINE BY SIX l seel
Too narrow, too narrow, alasl for mel. -
And she sighed from her quiyering lips so