The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-10-18
A LOVE AFFAIR DOWN EAST.
sKETcHED AccoRDIN' TO NATUR.'

I've heerd folks say that the wimmin
was contrary. Wall, they is little so (;
but if you manage 'em right = haul in
here and let them out there you can
drive 'em along without a whip or spur,
just which way you wish 'em to go.
When lived down at Elton there was
a good many first rate girls down there,
but | didn't take likin to any of 'em till
Squire Cummins cum down there to live.
The squire had a mighty pretty darter-
| said some Of the gals were first rate, but
Nancy Cummins was fust rate and lee
tie more. There was many dressed finer
and looked grander, but there was some
thing jamup about Nancy, that they didn' t
hold candle to. If a feller seed her
once he couldn't look at another for a
week. l took likin to her right off,
and we got as thick as thieves. We used
to so to the same meetin', and sot in the
same Pew. 1t took me to find sarms and
hymns for her; and we'd swell EN- out in
a manner shockin' to hardened sinners
and then we'd mosey hum together,
while the gals and lellers kept lookin
on US as though they'd like to mix in
I'd always stay to supper; and the way
she could make injun cakes, and the way
l could slick 'em with merlasses and put
away, was nothin' to nobody. She
was dreadful civil tcw; and always
gettin' somethin' nice for me. I was up
to the hub in love, and was goin' for it
like a locomotive. Well, things went on
in this way for a spell, till she had me
tight enough. Then she bcgun.to show
off, kinder independent like When I'd
so to meetin there was no room in the
pew; then she'd cum streak it off with
another chap, and leave me sucl,in' my
finger at the door. Instead of stickin' to
me as she used to do, she got to cuttin'
round with all the other fellers, just as if
she cared nothin' about me no more -
none whatever.
l got considerably riled-and I thought
/ mite as we'll cum to the end of it at
once; so down l went to have it out with
her. There was hull grist of felers there.
They seemed nifty quiet till went in /;
then she got talkin' all manner Of non
sense. Said nothin' to me, and darned
little of that. tried to keep my dander
down, but it want any use-I kept NOV
ing about as if I had pin in my trows-
ers; sweat as if had been treshin'. -
Ny collar hung down as if it had been
hung over my stock to dry. | couldn't
stand it; SO [ cleared out as quickly as I
could, for l seed twas no use to say no.
thin to her. l went straight to bed, and
thought the matter over spell. Thinks
l. that gal is just tryin' of me; faint no
use of playin' possum; I'll take the kink
out of her; if l don't fetch her out of
that high grass, use NE for sausage meat.
l heard tell Of boy wuncc that got to
skewl late one mornin'; master sez:
You tarnel sleepin' critter, what has
kept you so late?"
" Why" says the boy, it's so ever
lastin' slippery | couldn't get along, no.
how; every step I took forward, l went
two steps backward, and couldn't have got
here at all, if L hadn't turned back to go
t'other way"
Now that's just my case. I have been
putting after that gal considerable time
Now, thinks |, I'll go t'other way-she' s
been slitin Of me, and now I'll site her
What's sass for the goose is sass for the
gander
Well, I went no more to Nancy's. The
next Sunday slicked up, and | dew say
wen l got my fxins on, L shine clear of
any specimen Of human natur' in oui
parts. About meetin' time | put off tc
Sir. Elthum Dodgc's. Patience Dodge
was as nice gall as you'd see twixt here
and yonder, any more than she wasn't
just like Nancy Cummins. Ephraim
Mussey had used to go and see her; he
was clever feller, but he was dreadful
jelus. Well, | went to meetin' with Pa.
tiepce, and set right afore Nancy. ]
didn't set my eyes on her till after meet
in; she had feller with her who had a
blazen red head, and legs like pair OF
compasses; che had face as long as a
thanksgiving dinner. knowd who she
was thinkin' about, and it wasn't the chap
with the red head, nuther. Well, [ got
to boein' Patience about spell. Kept
my eye on Nancy; seed the cat was jun
PIN; she didn't cut about like she did
and looked rather solcmnly; she'd gin
her tew eyes to kiss and make up.
kept it all up till liked to have got into
muss about Patience. The critter
thought / was goin' after her for good,
and got as proud as tame turkey.
One day Ephe cum down to our place
lookin' as rathy as a milishy officer on
training day.
Look here" sez he, as loud as a