New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1866-09-19
Artsmas ward IN London.
d - caNra1pggIoN 10 PgNen.


ms FIRsT CONTRIBUTION TO PUNeH.
fFarstn Lonson Paaeh, Sept ISL
NM HSsteft, laIl Dear Si5---1ou probily didnt
meet nly uncle Wilgim when he was on thest
shores iedge so from the faek that his pursooti
wasn't ntrary. Commerce. which it has beer
ir0elY observed by statesman, or somebody, il
he Foundation stone onto which anation's great
ness rests gl0riaHs commerce was Uncle WilYim.s
fort. He sold soap. 1t smelt pretty and fedjy
commanded two cents cake. I'm the only
litrarF nan IN our family It is troo, once had .
who nearly died Of the measles OH but as he in
inodiciolsly INTRODUCED a Glorious at the end of
each sta1Zy, the parents didn't like it at ALL The
father in partleler wept afresh assaulted my
rtizzun and said he never felt So ri6fckns III his
Intire lie. The Unhappy result was that my
euzzun abRnaind poetry forever, and went back
to shaemakta, a shattered nan,
Ny Uncle " lynn disposed Of his soap. ana re-
9urasd to his native land with very excited opil.
gia of the British public tits a edycated com
nlunisy y sea he; they're a intellectual pepe
In one small Ysge alone Iseld fifty cakes Of soap
inclaoiin bafrGnial Halls, where they offered me
ilcai epFoaet, bat Isad no give it to the poor s
This was tile way Uncle Wilyim went on He
told us haNeve some stories thatsyas rather too
much to be essily swallered. IN faek my Uncle
HilFirn mos NOT an enlhlenof trooth. He retired
some years ago on q llansnm COMPETENCY derived
fToasthe insurance money he received on d rather
shaky seaoonaE ne owned, aAd which turned up
while lyin 1t wharf one night the cargo hayiu
fortnitiy aea removed the day afore the disastris
calamity occurd- Uncle WilYim said it wasone
NJ the most sing Ter things be ever heard of and
after e0lIectn the insurance money, he bust into
d aond of tsara and retired to Ills farm in Penn
5sylVan9. He was my uncle Big marriage only.
DO not say ha wasn't honest man I silnply say
1hatlf yon have uncle and bitter perience tells
you it Is more profitable iii peeeonerV nfntBofs
view To PINT pewter spoons instead of silver ones
onto the liable when that uncle dimes with Won in d
frenzy May-I simply say, there is somethin wrong
in social sistin, which calls loudly for reform
4 rived on these shores at Liverpool ana prf.
ceeded at once TO London, / slept at the Wash.
fngton Hotel in LIVERPOOL. because it was named
in honor of o enuntryman of mine who didn't get
his Twin bg maxim mistakes, and whose naenifry
II dear 70 civilized people all over the world be-
cause ne vas gentle and good as well as troolv
great. Mereaa in histry of any number OF great
lndiyidooals, but how few of 'era, alas should we
want 70 take home to supper with us Among
ltllaEs 4 wnnld call your attention to Alexander
The Great, who aonkered tue world, and Wept be-
cause he couldn't do it sum more, and then took to
gin-and-seitzer, gettn tight every day afpre din.
ner with the most disgustin reg arity, causini his
parents to regret they hadn't prenticed him in
Ills early youth to d biskis baker, or some other
occupation Of apsaceful and quiet character. /
say, therefore, to Tie great men now Twin, (you
could PM en- ali in Hyde Park, h9 Tie way and
still leave room for large and respectable con
courss Of TIoters4 be good. ! say to that gifted
but bgld-hRded PFooshan Bismarck, Be good and
gentle iIt youIahonr Of trump. Isaiways am. III
admit that our line IS different Bisnlafck's and
mine; but the same g1'Tus principle Is involved
"a am exhibitor Of startlin curiosifys wax
works. snaiK. etseteFy8 'teither Of whom, si
as american statesman, whose name 7
amt at liberty to mention for peritical resins as
he expecks Ia be candidate for pronl'ne
0fiss, and hence doesn't wish to excite the rage
and jelisy Of other sho#men--s either of whom is
Wuth bubble the price OF admission, 81 I saw I am
a exhibitor Of startlini curi0sitys and alsohaye
Ily hours Of triumph, bat try 70 be good in EN-.
~ you say A, yes, but also your hours Of grief
and mis- answer il is troo, and you pro
bly, refer to the circumstans Of my birin Young
man Of dissYpated habits to fix hisself mn as a real
caunibsI from New Heelan, and when was Simply
5elh the audience that he was the most feroshls |
eannlbaN Of his tribe. and that, alone and unas-
sisted, be had ct 'ril Of our feilow-eounryme
and that he had at one time even Contemplated |
satin his Uncle Thomas on his mothers side, as
well as asleg near and dear relatives was
maxim these simple statements the mis'hle vouny |
man said was Iyer and knockt ME OF the Mat
form, Not quite satisfied with this he cum and /
ar0d hegll on me, and as he was very muscular
person sud wore remarkable thick boots | knew |
~ once that canary bird WASH u II kim over NE
4 admit that my ambition oyelept herself in this /
.nstnnais and lasoeen very careful ever since TO I
neal sqEafe Eith The public. If Twas the public / /
should INSIST on aquareress, tho | shouldn't do as
portion q my audience did on the occasion Jest
snenfieneu, which they was emplyed in sum /
aaheEln' coal mines. j. AS you hain't got III more
eanny bals to show uE, old man, said one of lem
VINO seemed I'd be kind Of lender among 'en-a
owe dis' gree anle akoundril-s as you seem to be
1us Of Hcannybals We sorter look round here and
lM things, Them wax fggers Of yours want
Rashint. There's Napoleon Bonyparte and Tnltls
cesar they must have a bath. with such coarse
lnd osEta remark be initiated the slrill war-hoop
y me western savige, and, assisted BY his infa-
nons coal-heavil coinpangins, he threw all my j
Raxsyo rk into tile river, and let my wild bears !
oose to pray On q peecefnl and inoffensiTe agri.
ultooral community.
z Inn Min Jt3
Rant 70 see The docks, which heard spoken Of at
easg once while / was there, i cum to London ia
nfat-eiass can, passil she slme very agreeable in
y ill 9 eoantiJliian OF mine, the eele-
IaItea olsteia question. We took
from 6lLe time II commenced being 80 down to 7
az present dayi when my countryman, at the | i
i9se. oi q Inul' hours annyniated debate said he
s san I new anything about it himself, and he
Fanted " know IL dd. told him fiIat dif5 / /;
ot. He's at RanlsgRte now. and am IT. wits
MIN when feel like giving him two DAYS ia 4
sAicn 10 DISCUSS the question OF negro slavery IN
~ ea, Rut nor Do moi feel like It.
os,So,, ~ and ni atonpin' at she Green. !,
ID Tavern u Hike fhe az ..nord very much indeed.
4 had fallen Into few tfliinl Vas y. regard Il
Amefea he vas under The iigg.Ypfgssi0h, fof In.
anee. thas NE et hay over there, and had horns
f6Rin' eakof the back part of our heads but =
~ chops md beer is excl to any eyer pertook. q
ou must come and see me and bring the boys.
mi told tist aarfi6k used 10 cum here, and I'm i
roRins aksptyeal about Garrek's faYofite taYe i !,
rms. Ivy had over 500 public houses pinted out J
. ne where Garrick went, was indooced one II
ight ny 4 seleek company OF Britons, 10 visit !
ONE 2o public houses, and they confdehtally
old me that GaEriek used to 20 te each one. Of
en-. Also Dr johnson. This won't DO, you
new. liz
May he ne I've rsmbled q Bit in this eommunyca
ion u Iry and be more collected insmy next,
na meanwhile bllieYe me tfooly yours,
ARFRafHs WARD.
. = saoIs IN THE GifIs.-Such is the eleya-
IL. q se gaskllis that storms, both Of ram and