The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-04-06
NUMBER Is.
SPARE LINES.

"working for bare lifo" is defined to be
making clothes for new baby.
II is not half tho trouble to learn in youth
that II is to be ignorant in old age.
A dogma is defined as an opinion laid down
with snarl.
Ilydrophobia is raging in Minnesota. In ono
town only Elk dogs remain to tell their melan.
choly tales.
Our faults aflict us moro than our good ar-
tions console us: 1t is always pain which car.
ries the day in conscience as in the heart.
Why is q man with curved spine like
house with rear piazra9 Because he has
back stoop.
The phrase, "6xed as tho everlasting hills"
is quite inadmissible. There never was hill
that didn't slope.
Ono OF the latest works advertised is entitled
"The Irishman, by an Irish Woman" We
would like to sec an Irishman by any other
woman.
Disagrecable weather, said Jones las. even.
ing. Yes, said Briwr, ras NJ his countenance
with regret from his lager.bcer, "rather mug.
gy."
The first institution vouchsifed 10 our race
-, was the Sabbath; the next marriage. So give
your irst thought to heaven, the next to your
wife.
Gen. Williams, the second husband OF Mrs.
Douglas, was a staunch Douglasite in 1860.
Having supported the husbsnd, II is quite nat.
ural that he should wish to support the wild.
ow.
I say. landlord, that's dirty towel for a
man to wipe on! Landlord, with look of
nmazement, replied: Sixty or seventy OF nv
boarders have wiped on that towel this morn.
ing. and you are the first to find fault.
A member Of fashionable church in New
York electrified music dealer, the other day.
by inqu!rng for "Solomons Song" saying hi:
rector had spoken oft az a production OF great
genius and beauty, and he wanted his daugh-
ter to learn il.
"Do you propose to put Ike in q store, Mrs
Partington?" Yes, replied the old lady, "but
I'm pestiierous to know which. Some tell me
tho wholesome trade is the best, but believe
tho ringtal will be the most bcni6icious to
him."
The Norwich, Connecticut, Courier says
"Polly Fairweather was married in Worcester
the other day. Her namo was changed. OF
course. But, il q man is fond Of fairwcathsr.
what does he want to change il for? Next
thing he knows hell hear squalls"
Never quit your hopes. Hope is often bet
ter than enjoyment. Hope is often tho cause
as well as the effect Of youth. II is certainlya
very pleasant and healthy passion. A hops.
lpss person is deserted by himself; and he who
L. L. h. e.. a..
fortune.
Christ does not promise his followers immu-
nity from sorrow lie expressly declares that
in the world oil shall have tribulation. Ito
does not abolish suffering, but by his sympathy
and succor enables them to bear it-so 10 bear
It that It shall work out for them far moru
exceeding and eternal weight Of glory.
Every man who is "diligcnt in business, SER
wing the Lcrd," isa sermon brimiul OF tho
energies Of life and truth, u witness tn the
comprehensiveness and adaptation of Christ's
religion, q preacher OF Righteousness in sccnet
where none can preach 30 effectively or 50
well.
Truth, which ia ctCrnally the same, hasnoth-
ing to fear from the operation of conflicting
opinions. She lies upon her quiet bed at the
bottom Of the eel, while the surface Of the elo-
mcnt that forms her gentle covering has. per-
chance, been agtated by many naval con-
lict.
Gov. Weller Of California, was wrecked on
the steamer Golden Rule, and on arriving at
San Francisco, he remarked to friend -
"Lost everything sir. everything but my rcpu.
tation," "Governor," replied his friend, "You
travel with less baggage than any one over
saw."
A German described m accident thus
"Vonce a long vile ago. i vent into mine abbe
orchard to CLINE bear tree to get some beach.
es TO mako mine vrow n budding nit:
vrom the lowermost lin', NIT Won leg on bots
sides Of der vence, and like to shtove mine out.
side iu."
When can ship he said TO be sensibly. i'm.
prudently, ridiculously, ambitiously, and bold.
" 10 love? lst. Sensibly-when she is sattach.
ell to man Of war. Cd. Imprudontly-whcn
borne along by great swell. Sd. Ridiculous
ly-when in the company Of q small boy
(buoy.) 4th. Ambitously- y when making up
to a peer (pier) Stu. Boldly-whcn run.
ming after smack.
Morality is very beautiful part OF Chris.
tain's supcrStructure, hut it is not founda.
tion. Other foundation, remember, no man
can lay than that is laid. which is Jesus Christ.
We have seen soma melancholy crashes in tho
moral careers OF men VIC have heard somo
terrible falls in dying chambers. They wers
the down.tumblinIs Of fa,c hope that was
founded on the sand. When the foods cnme
and tho winds smote on II, fell, and groat was
tho fall thereof!