Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1866-12-15
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AMERICAN LOVE.MAK.NG.
The Natural History Or' 'Courter..''

tariff question, but not whit more absurd.
The Bashfdl Courier Is generally some
callow youth, who has thought 1t necessary
to make love because il is custom of the
male sex, and not. on, accOuntspt any ard
ent desire that he is Inspired with. lie
seems half afraid of the conrtee, seats him
self in distant corner and tidgets nerv-
ously when she comesatoo near him. He
will often remain dumb for an hour at a
time, while the courtee has to amuse her.
self in the best way she can! Callers come
and go, rivals pop in and out. the fleeting
hours of evening pass nadter-t tdDltttdS Hits
into the room to see if her daughter has
company, butstill the b. G. sits, uninterest-
iTS and uninterested, a sort of wooden
Cupid impressive from its very impassabili-
ty, and dead weight. When at last ap-
preaching midnight warns the b. G. that
it is time he should go home to his mother,
he mutters to the yawning courtee that he
thinks it is getting late, searches for his hat
that he has secreted on his entrance in some
out-of- the-way place, and glides like tie
ghost of Love past the courtee, who holds
the door open for him. 1t is then only that
he finds courage to pass compliment on
the courtee, who is so much startled by the
unexpected event that she has been known
Immediately on his departure, to ask her
uld WudJ GuG H. W COulu pOoSlDly llltdlls o.
The b. G.. is quite an enigma to most
young ladies. They do MT understand
| him, he appears so odd and out of place.
Consequently, their curiosity is excited,
and, rs natural consequence, their inter
est. TO the astonishment of men who
would have thought themselves disgraced
| ia being considered rivals. the b. C.is found
| to have won the belle of q circle; though
| how the thing was done is one of those mys-
| teres that society and old women can never
| fully account for in gOssipping discussions;
| but they are, perhaps, no more astOnished
than the B. G.. himself, who is quite aware
that he is stick, and finds himself married
he does not know hOw-though, perhaps
the courtee's mamma could enlighten him
on the subject.
After marriage. the B. G. suddenly be-
comes cheeky. The veil of mystery that
envdloped the fair sex has been lifted, he
has ceased to be awed, aud becomes the
most.gaIant man of his circle. ..........
The Conceited Courier is the laughing
stock of the courtcd sex. His too manifest
self.appreciation affords them immense
amusement, and his self-importance they
delight, after increasing, to suddenly an
| nihlidte with q blasting mol" When the
| G. G. hears the word of doom pronounced,
| he cannot believe in the cOurtee's sincerity
and consequently often has to have the
sentence repeated by mamma, big brother,
and horsewhip or a boot. Still the q. g.
| is not brought to his sensps. Though you
bray fool in a mortar" the old proverb
! Gays, and "though the g. @. has been re-
| fused hundred times" say the courtees,
"you cannot drive his folly frornhim." The
G. G. is generally possessed of good looks,
and glib tongue which far outstrips his
lnlt tlya inI1 Ia cnI
himself of all the stupid and funny little
anecdotes of current literature, and retails
them by the pack. He generally has some
small musical ability, which he displays on
all occasions. After being snubbed or re-
| iected several times, he cannot perceive
why stupid fellows who cannot play, or
sing, OF tell stories, or repeat stereOtyp d
compliments, are favorites of the courtees,
while he is looked on as a drug aud a
nuisance. At last, the G. G. becomes some
Old maids or widows victim, who enlight-
ems him by the light of the honeymoon.
The Jealous Courier is an i'll. condition
ed dog who keeps up growing and
barking, to the disgust of all who have
ANYTHING to do with him. How the courtee
ever consents to wed him is, at first sight,
a mystery. That many springed elliptic,
the female mind, has peculiar and startling
| only when pressed against, and when un-
excited appearing fiat and uninteresting
| A courtee, when she was warned against
al. g., and numerous soothSayers were
| foretelling all manner of rough things for
| the future, if she did not give the j, g.
| the mitten, replied that she felt flattered by
| the jealousy OF her lover; it showed that
| he was on the watch, and felt interested ;
| she would not have one of those Jamb men
| who did not are whether or no she tlrted,
| for then there was no pleasure in coquet-
| ting; but to have jolly row and quar-
rel, and slamming of the door, and looks
| of defiance on meeting, and notes OF apol-
Ogy, and the bliss of recOnciling huggngs,
| these were pleasures indeed-it was like
the delicious evening after summer thun-
| der-stC rm.
The j. c., after marriage, often astonishes
| all his friends by proving the least jealous
| of all hu stands. 1t would seem that, hav-
! ing only so much jealousy to eXpend, he
had exhausted his stock during courtship,
and lett none to embitter the sweets of mat
rimony. ..''l '..'
| The Seven Years Courier is the horror
| Of the household. He is often the cause of
bitter recrlminations and utter despera-
| tion in a family. When quite young man
he visits very closely, and gladdens the
heart of mamma, with host of marriage
able daughters, who flatters herself that
one of her live stock is soon to find mar
ket. A year or two pass by, and mamma
becomes fidgetY, and is apt to receive the
| 5. Y. C. with h ,ughty looks and little un-
affected displeasure. The poor courtee,
af er her lovers departure, is subjected to
all sorts of cross-questionings as to what
he said and did, and if he expressed any in
L - Nf,1n Ia, - Nakl
ing is elected. The S. Y. Q. comes every
days. He has evidently made up his mind
| to be one of the family, and does his best
to make all consider him to be at home,
| At last, in utter disgust, and in sheer des-
neration, the mamma informs her daugh-
fer that she must find out what the S. Y. Q.
means. or she herself will. Then, hor-
ror of horrors to the matronly earl
Lucy informs her mother that she has
| made with Charlie long engagement
The loving maternal calls her daughter
a fool. goose, stupid and other sweet,
endearing terms, and there is a weeping
and waiing and flirting of skirts. Mater
rushcs up stairs to disturb snoring pdter'S
peace, and vent her bursting Indignation
on his night-capped head. He philosoph-
ically, though sleepily, asserts Ithatit ism 7
| as bad as it mig hit be. This adds, fuel to the
fire of matters wrath, and she makes up her
mind that there shall be nosleep thatnight
Meantime awillowy figure has been slob-
bering and blubbering, and after wildly
resolving to commit suicide, run away, and
work for living, becomes more quiet, and
sternly determines to stick to Charlie at all
hazards-then mildly goes to bed. NeXt
morning revives the maternal, lecture
there is excitement, in the house; entreat'