The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1866-12-29
ler arms around tho neck of Jeems.

SNSiJ mOluSI sun Va u9' W Oau JuoI
prepare to make the acquaintance with
the gentleman in black who tends the
fire down below"
80 Lord Jeems, what will become Of
us ! felt skeery about getting on the
outlandish thing at first"
"Keep quiet, Lie hollcrin' won't do
any good now Eff you know any pray
er, now's the time to say it, for both Of
us"
whats the matter here ?" said the
astounded conductor, coming up as the
train emerged once moro into the light.
"That's just what I'd like to know"
said Jeems, when he saw that Lie and
himself were still alive. We've just
passed through Eaton's tunnel" replied
the conductor. "Iow far are you going p
"Wall, recken we'll stop at Parkers-
burg"
"Show your tickets, if you please.
Certainly, Lize, you got some with
you Let this gent look at 'em."
Lie drew a piece of white paper from
her reticule, and with smile, handed it
to our friend the conductor, who read :
The pleasure cf your company respect
iully solicited.
Whats this?" said the astonished con-
ductor. "Why, that's one of the tickets
to our weddin' that's what you asked for,
hain't it p said the sOmewhat surprised
Jeems.
"Wha haw haw haw !" was the
discordant sound that arose from the
sleepy looking individual.
A bland smile passed oyer the face OF
the conductor, as he explained his mean
ing to our verdant friend. He had no
ticket, bRt willingly paid his fare, and
the train sped on towards its destination.
But wonders did not cease here. Pres
emily pert newsboy entered the car, and
stepping up to Jeems, asked:
"Have a Sun, sir Z"
"Wall, eff have my way about it, the
first one shall be a son, sartain," said
Jeems. Lize blushed
"Don't count your chickens before
they are Matched !" said Billy, as he has
tened on to the next car.
In due time the train stopped at the
big depot in the city. Amid confusion
Of strange noises Babel Of discordant
voices, our friends landed on the platform.
"Buss, sab Buss sab, free for the Uni.
ted States 2" said the sable porter OF our
up town house. Lady take buss, sab p
wall, / rather 'spose she won't from
anybody bit me reckon I'm able to do
ali in that line she wants, and more too." J"
$50 to the Revere House, sab ? Rite
crost de street, best house in de city
This way, sab; any baggage Have il
sent 70 yoar rooE; - te~ minutes"
In short time Jeems aud his bride
found themselves in one Of those comfort
able rooHs on the hrst floor Of that we'll
ordered establishment, the Revere House.
The baggage was sent up with the usual
promptncss, and our friends we're soon
making up their toilet for dinner; Jeems
had his coat and boots off in a jiffy, and
Lize's hair fell gracefully over her shoul-
ders.
That's a duced pretty torsel," said
Jeems. cycling the bell-cord. II wonder
what it's for Z" catching hold of it ''look
it works up there on a sort Of thingumbob.
I'd like to have that torsel to put on my
horses head next muster day see how
it works" said he, giving it pull
Presently the door opened, and the
sable face of one Of Africa's sons was
thrust into the room with tho inquiry
"Ring,. sab ?"
ring ring what you black ape? Ef
you don't quit lookin' at my wife, and
make yourself scarce, Pllwring your head
off"
"stop mint" says Lie. whats
the name of the man who keeps this tav-
ern 2" "Mr. s., marm" "Wen tell
his lady she need not go to any eTtrp Ak
in on our account for we are plain people" "
said the amiable bride.
As they used to say in our debatin' So
ciety," Interrupted Jeems, "Pll amend
that motion by saying you can tell 'em to
give us the best they've got. I'm able to
pay fur it, and don't koer for expenses" ."
t'Tee hee! tee heeF' was the only
audible reply from the sable gent, as he
hurried down stairs.
Dinner came, and was dispatched with
relish. Jeems and his bride took stroll
over the city, seeing the lions and other
sights until supper time, which being over
they retired to their room. The gas was
lit by the servant, who received ragged
quarter for his services. Jeems was the
last ip bed, and according to rule in such
cases, had put the light out, which he did
with blast from his lungs.
The noise in the street died away, and
silence reigned in the "crack hotel" The
young man on the watch dozed in his chair.
The clerk (rather corpulept) was about to
retire when he thought he smeltgas The
guests, some of them, woke up and smelt
gas Much against bis will, the clerk pro-
ceeded to find where the leak was 1t
seemed stronger in the neighborhood OF
the room occupied by the bride and groom.
Clerk concluded to knock at the door OF
their room. "Who's there?" came
from the inside. "Open the door, the gas
is escaping"
4 "Gas, what gas'9" said Jeems, opening
4 the door.
/ 'FWhy, here in this room. How did you
put your light out?' -
"Blew it out, of course"
The amiable clerk came very near saying
bad word, but remembering there was
i lady in the case, rather in the bed, he
checked his rising temper, and having Iii
the gas, proceeded to show Jeems the
mystery of its burning as follows:
i'eYou see this little thing here? well
when you want to put it out you give it Q