Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1866-09-15
A Little too Punctual.

1uc uOuI was approaching IOT tuc
departure of the New Haven steamboat
from her berth at New York, and the
usual crowd of passengers and friends
of passengers, newsboys, fruit venders,
cabmen and dock loafers, were assemb-
led on and about the boat. We were
gazing at the motley group, from the
foot of the promenade deck stairs, when
our attention was attracted by the sim
gular action of tall, brown Yankee, in
an immense wool hat, chocolate colored
coat and pantaloons, and a fancy vest.
He stood near the starboard paddle box
and scrutinized sharply every female
that came on board, every now and
then consulting an enormous silver
bulls eye watch which he raised from
the depths of a capacious fob by means
of powerful steel chain. After mount
ing guard in this manner, he dashed
furiously down the gang plank and up
the wharf, reappearing on board almost
instantaneously, with flushed face, ex-
pressing the most intepse anxiety. This
series of operations he performed several
times, after which he rushed about the
boat wildly, and hopelessly calculated {:
whats the time of day? Wonder if
my repeater's fast? Whar's the cap'n |?
Whar's the steward !? Whar's the mate
Whar's the boss that owns the ship p
what is the matter, sir? we ven-
tured to ask him, when he stood for a
moment.
'Hain't seen nothin of gal in blue
sun bonnet, with Canton Grape shawl,
(cost fifteen dollars) pink gown, and
brown boots, hey come on board while
was lookin for the cap'n at the hind
end of the ship-have ye, hey?'
No such person has come on board
'Tormented lightnin She's my wife, ,
he screamed; married her yesterday.
All her trunks and mine aboard under
the pile of bas gage as tall as Connec-
ticut steeple. The darn black nigger
says he can't hand it out, and l won't
leave my baggage anyhow. My wife,
only think of twas to have come
aboard at half past four and here its
most five. What's become of her? She
can't have eloped. We hain't been
married long enough for that. You
don't think she's been abducted, do ye,
mister Speak-answer-won't ye?-
Oh, I'm ravin distracted! What are
they ringing that bell for? Is the ship
afre?'
1T is the signal for departure-the
first bell. The second will ring in four
minutes
Thunder! You don't say SO !? Whar's
the cap'n?
THAT gentleman in the blue coat
The Yankee darted to the captains 8
side.
'Cap'n, stop the ship for ten minutes
wont YEP
Cant do it, sir
'Cap'n I'll give you two dollars gasp
ed the Yankee.
The captain slook his head.
I'll give you five dollars and half
and half-and half ? he kept re-
peating, dancing about in his agony,
like mad jackass on hot iron platter.
The boat starts at five precisely
said the captain, shortly, turning away.
sOh, you stunny-hearted heathin J.
murmured the Yankee, almost bursting
into tears. 'Partin man and wife, and
we just one day married. =
At this moment the huge paddle
wheels began to paw the water. and the
walking beam descended heavily, shak-
ing the huge fabric to the centre. All
who were not going to New Haven went
ashore. The hands began to haul in
the gang-plank; the fasts are already
cast loose.
Leggo that plank!' roared the YAM
kee, collaring one of the hands. Drop
it like a hot potato, or I'll heave you
into the dock p
'Yo-yop shouted the men in chorus
as they heaved on the gangway.
Shut up, you braying donkeys ?
yelled the maddened Yankee, 'or there
will be an ugly sort of work =
But the plank was got aboard, aud
the boat splashed past the pier. In an
instant the Yankee pulled off his coat,
flung his hat beside it on the deck, and
rushed wildly to the guard.
Are you drunk or erazy" cried a
passenger, seiying him.
4 am going to fling myself into the
dock and swim ashore cried the Yam
kee. 4 must not leave Sairy Ann alone
in New York city. You may divide my
baggage among ye-let me go-I can
swim
He struggled so furiously that the
consequence of his rashness might have
been fatal, had not a sudden apparition
changed his purpose. A pretty young
woman in blue bonnet, white Canton
Grape shawl pink dress and brown boots
came toward him. The big brown Yam