North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1866-02-21
ROMANCE OF REAL LIFE,

ROMANCE OF REAL LIFE,
There was fine cid General once, who
having spent most of his life in the field Of
Mars, knew a very: little about the camp
of Cupid. lie was one of those rough and
h,nest spirits often met with in his gallant
profession ; Innocent as an infant If almost
everything save high integrity and indom-
liable bravery. lie was nearly fifty years
old and his tolls were over when master
Dan brought him acquainted with d Wild
ow Wadman, in whose eye he began to
detect something that made him feel un-
easy. Here was the result of leisure.
AT length, however, the blunt honesty OF
his disposition rose uppermost among bis
conflicting plans, and his course was chos-
en-. At school he had once studied 'Othel-
los Defence" TO recte at an exhibition, but
made failure he now recollected there
Was something in this defence to recite,
very much like he wanted TO say. He
got the book imm .diately, found tho pas
sage, clapprd on his hat with determined
air, AMI pos;cI off TO the widow Wadman's 5
with Shak, ,pcare under his arrn.
"MaIame," said g, neral Uncle Toby,
opening bis book at the marked plac, wi Ii
the solemnily OF a tpecial pltader at the
bar" Madam
Rude am I in my spec ch,
And little blessed with the set phrase of peace;
For sine these arms of mine hal seven years piih
Till now nine moons waste'l, they have u ei
Their dearest action in the tented field;
And little of this great world can speak.
Mo than pertains to feat OF broi ami battle;
Aud the 'efore'-"
Hele the general closed the book. wiped
his forehead, 10 KID mp at the ceiling,and
said with spasmOdic gssp"l want to get
married"
The widow laughed for ten minutes by
the watch before she could utter S, liable,
and then she said. with precious tears of
humor rolling down her good-natureI
cheeks, "And who is it you Want to marry.
General p
"Yor," said Uncle Toby, flourishing his
sword arm in the air, and assuming mil
itary attitule of defiance, as If he expected
an assault from the widow Immediately.
"Will you kill me If / marry you ?" said
the widow, with a merry twinkle in her
eye.
NO, madam" replied Uncle Toby
in most Serions and deprecating tone, As
if to assure her that such an idea had new
cr entered his head.
well, then, gness Ill marry you"
sain the widow.
Thank YOU, ma am" said Uncle Toby,
but one thing IN bound to tell vou-I
wear wig'
The widow started, remained silent
moment, and then went into longer, lond-
er and merrier laugh than she had inlulged
in before, at the end of which she drew
her seat nearer the General, graycly laid
her ha' d on his head, gently lifted his wig
off ard placed it on the table.
Uncle Toby had never known fear in
battle, but he now felt decided inclination
to run away. The wi..ow laughed again,
as though she never would stop, and the
General was abont TO lay his hat upon his
denuded head and holt, when the facctious
lady placed her hand upon his arm and
detained him. She then deliberately rails
ed her other hand to her own head, with
a sort of military precision, exfc1ted rap
id manGuver with her five fingers, pulled
of her whole head of finc glossy hair, pa-
d it upon the table by the side of the
Generals and remain seated with Indie
rous gravity in front of her accepted lover,
quite bald
As may be exp cted Uncle Toby now
laughed along with the widow, and thy
soon Grew SO merry over the aff,ir that
the maid servant pceped through the key
hole at the noise. and saw the old couple
dancing jig ard bobhing their bald pates
at each other like pair of Chinese mada-
rines. So the two very shortly had their
heads together upon the pillow Of mstri-
mony.