The Vinton record. [volume] (M'arthur, Vinton County, Ohio) 1866-1891, 1866-06-28
Mistellanspus.
A LIVE YANKEE IN LONDON
BY GEORGE W. BURGAY.

A live Yankee. from the Green Mountains
Of Vermont, visited the city Of London,
While passing through one Of the principal
thoroughfares OF trade and travel, his al
tentiOn was suddenly arrested BY some
beautiful specimens of writing paper, ex-
posed for sale at shop window. Seeing
The proprietor of the establishment standing
at the door, the Yankee civilly inquired oil
him what he did with "them nice bits Of
paper?'
I'VE keep them to tie up CAPE sEFD in,
said The cockney, sneppishly.
'O,ve du--du ye7' said Jonathan, while
he looked ns though he was inventins
trick with whicn he intended to pay of the
impertinent cockney in his own coin.
Passing down the street few steps, our in.
dignant Yankee saw another merchant, who
was not only an Engishman, but gentle.
man also.
Il say, mister, can you Tell me what that
feller duz for livin' what keeps them ere
nice bits Of paper at the winder9'
Yes. sir, he is small dealer in paper, and
sort OF a scribe. He writes letters for
those persons who desire assistance
q reckon he is very SMALL dealer, and
that be is PHARIsEE as well as scribe.
Do ye think he'd write letter for me il
pay him for itT
Certainly he will, and jump at the chance.
That is his principal occupation
The Yankee thrust his hands Il might
add arms) into his pockets almost up to his
elbows, Tor he felt the sting in the waspsh
words uttered by the paper dealer, and
walked back TO the shop where he had been
so udely treated.
u say, mister, they say as how you sell
paper and write letters for folks what can't
write. What will ye tax to write letter
TO my sister SallyY
Il shall charge you five shillings,' replied
the Englishman, softening his tone as his
government does since it has heard Of our
great victories.
'Willye write jest what tell ye, and
spell the words right, as we do in Varmont.
inquired the Yankee.
TO be sure | will. | understand my
business perfectly
We'll, don't care il ye du; guess you
may write to Sally
AuC piONulCu pCug lin uuu pu-
per, and the Yankee commenced debating
after the following style.
Dear Sister Sally
'Hev you got that down.
Yes
'Rived in London last week.
'Hev ye got that down and spelt right?
Yes--go on.
Thought I'D 60 into the country and take
a ride.
Got that down right!
Yes, yes-go on, don't detain me 80.
pay ye fve shilliDgs, don't l, by and by?
Yes, yes-but you need not detain ne 50.
That's my business, not yourn. Wal the
old mare baulked.
Baulked is hard word, can you spell il
90 that Sally will know what it meansY
To be sure | can.
She wouldn't 60 SO l licked her.
Well, 60 on.
Licked her-licked her--lcked her.
Well, 60 on.
Licked her-licked her--licked her,
What is the use of saying II go many
times?
None Of yer business. pay you five
shillings--licked her, licked her, licked her,
licked her, licked her, licked her, licked her,
licked her
This page is full Of licked hers.
Turn over then--licked her, licked her,
licked her. She wouldn't 60 then, so got
out and l kicked her, kicked her, kicked her,
kicked her.
You are not intending to say that as MANI
times as you said licked her.
None Of your business. I pay you five
shlllings-so put in kicked her as often as |
tell you. She wouldn't 60 then, so | sharp.
ened the end Of my whip handle and pricked
her, pricked her, pricked her.
! cannot see any sense in all this.
Never you mind, ! pay YOU Tor what you
do--licked her, kicked her, pricKed her,
licked her, pricKed her. She would not 60
then, so got in and There the YANKEE
made chinuppins noise with his tongue
and lips which bids defiance to orthognp6y. !
canno, spell that, said the Englishman.
U, ye can't spell that, haY Wal, ye
needn't write any mUre for me, If ye can't
spell that,
Need not write any more, said the COCK.
ney, with look Of establishment.
No more, said the YANKEE, perfectly coaa.
posed.
Not word to close With
Mary aword.
You will pay me for what have written?
Nota red. You didn't write down all |
told you tu.
Well, sir, what am I 10 do with all this
paper ! have spoiled!
KEEP IT TO TIE UP CAPE SEED IE.
The correspondent Of the London Times,
who has made so many false predictions may