Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1866-10-11
CHE gepnbliran.
The Dutch Wfdower.

tIss The Dutch Widower.
qess - s-s BY G. W. BuNGAY.
- -dIne frOw was no peter than she ortO
pc I'll shust before she diet, then she vas so
coed pefore,' remarked Mr.. Vandenhorn
to his neighbor Swartz.
ASs.fours wife was an amiable woman,
anu you do great injustice to her men,
Ory," said Swartz.
- ..Xels-vetayou know so. much about
mine frow fOr?'',
Z ''Iwbs not intimately acquainted with
p her, but am sure all her aequaintanccs
loved her.
'vot right had they TO love herr May
MAY be WHAT"
May pc you loved nine frow too"
Why do you speak so strangely?"
: IVY Won day pig, ugly man shuSt
like you came into our house, and kissed
mine frow right before her face"
Were YOU present at the timer
ITO pc sure vos." 5-,t
well, what did YOU dog
Il kicked him right pehind his pack"
Did he resent it,"
"1aw, he prOke me and tie looking glass.
and all the rest of &c crockery in te house.
cept the fodder ped, into one tam samsh-
up" rs... .l.t-ry.,t.
5<'Yh hat did YOU SO then?"
Den I cried murder: murder. and he
called fOr te shudge and the shurv. and te
bolice officer, and te constable, TO come.
but he run away"
do you intend to charge me with ia
king such understandable liberties with
the companion of your bosom?"
ME no charge noting for it now. be-
cause she pc tead and period
Il will not allow YOU to make such in
situations. You are an old tyrant and
every body said you were glad when your
wife died.
Every pody pc Won tam liar
Il saw no symptoms of SORROW
Me felt more wush tan ifmy pest COW
had fed" 4-'H7. = y
: y eJr cow, what a comparison
'She vOS a great lOss-a heavy loss
for she vOs so pig as dat (spreatiing out
his BIC arms, end she weigh more as two
hundred pOuns''
Look out old man. or Won viii see troub-
lie yet doubt ifyour wife was ever kiss
ed by any man since she was married
At all events you must apologize foriwhat
You have said of me-"
A''Notis apologise:"
'.foumust beg my pardon andsay you
are sorry. Ii you do not, will enter a
complaint and have warrant issued
against you, and YOU will be tried. CON
vieted and imprisoned"
Il pc sorry, ten
g." ''Sorry for WHAT"
''SOrry you kissed mine frow."
~ on incorrigible IDIOT that is not what
YOU must say for never did such a thing
Must say you pc sorry you never did
such 2 thing -
aNoryou must take back what you
have said"
Nix forstand yot YOU saw"
While the Dutchman was in this dilem-
ma, his friend, Hans Hamburger came
that way, and finally succeeded in recon-
ching the parties, and the trio went into
house hard by. where each drank his
nelghoors health at the expense of his
own.
Nlr. Vanderhorn sang Dutch songs, and
related Dutch stories and entertained lis
friends with the following part of his auto
biography.
"Our oldest son wash a poy, and when
he would not stay nit me, | set him up
te dry goods. such as peer, cake, sehees
and red behring's Yell, Won tay, at town
meeting. he sold tie dry goods and run away
init tie profits and rund after him and
kotched him nesrs dat pig parn ward.
called Possom Common and | set down
on te-step; Hooked at him-lle look at me.
pegin to cry, so did he, put my arms
right around his neck, and vot you tinks-
= He apologized,r said Swartz.'
He no apologize at all. Vot you tink,
Hamburger,
ssWell I suDroSa no ,,rop,;SoJ 20 do 90,
no more"
, ssNo. nothing like dat. I put nv arms
around his neck and it yos not him: and he
put his arms around my neck and said it
was not me- But he told me Won great pig
lie, for knowed il vas me, by tie buttons
on my coat and te poots on my feet. Ven
j could not find my poor little son, offer
cd a reward for him. i said in tie newspa-
per dat all persons must pring my son dead
en- alive, and would pay chuSt twenty-five
dollars fur him to Mr.. Swartz.''
dead or alive" said Hamburger.
SSsYaw'
by TIE by. Mr. Vanderhorn," continued
Swartz, who had become quite good ma
tured, Il know plump. rosy widow. fat.
fair and forty" IA
wv 0uld you like to have an introduction
to herr"
1sYaw"
No sooner said than done. Away went
the half-tipsy trio to the cottage where the
widow lived. They reached the door in
time to hear VanderllOrn say:
You let ter widow induce herself to me.
and vilf-vat you call it ven tie peer vid tie
cork go pang, pang, out of te bottle:'
Pop said Swartz.
Yaw, yaw, I viii pop de question before
her face. =
Mr.. Vanderhorn, however, did not pay
much attention to the forms and cereino-
MES OF etiquette, but commenced converse
ton as follows
.'Pe you Won yidder:"
Il had the misfortune TO lose NV hus-
band about three weeks ago. How is your
wife and the children
MY frow pc died, / tank YOU. and my
Poy wat rund away nit tie try goods is mar
red
Then YOU have been tried in the fur
mace of affection as well as myself" said
the widow.
''Yaw."
Il say, which State do You like best?'
de State of Pennsylvania"
Dir. SwartZ becoming tired of the insipid
conversation, nudged his neigbbor, remind
ing him of his promise to pop the question.
''Vat you tink now about marrying me. =
said Vanderhorn.
''Why, what a question:" said the wild
ow, biting her forefinger and swaying her
head and shoulders from one side to the
other, and looking simple.
1T pc vat dey call pop dc question.
Vat you tink?"
| will give you an answer tomorrow
morning"
Me not wait till tomorrow morning
me 30 to Mol Knickerbocker If Won don't
say yaw."