The Van Buren press., 1866-11-16

iV.CHSt ". HSi SWAN, WuO, bic b1iu ubu
60, to be tuck flst and rae natural.' .1
He brushed up his tow head Of hair, gave
twist or two to his handkerchief, and
asked his girl if his collar was ", and
placed himself IN the operators chair where
lie soon assumed the physiognomical char
scteristics Of poor mortal in the dentists
LANDS, aud about TO part with one Of his
teeth.
snow do look putty. begged tho lady.
casting at him one OF her most lsngushing
glances. -" h
The picture was taken, and when
produced, it reminded the girl, as she ex
pressed it-"Ji-t as Josh looked when he
ga. yer the meazlesl' and as this was not
an era in her lovers history particularly
worthy of commemoration, she insisted
"hs should stand once more"
lie obcyed, and she attended him TO the
chair. -..-
"Josh,' said she, 'jist look like smiling
and then kinder don't"
The poor fellow tried to follow the in
dotiuite Injunction. .-..
'Ls!4 said she, ''you look all pucksred
mp"
One direction followed another, but with
little success. At length growing impa-
tient, and becoming desperate, she resolved
TO try an experiment which she considered
iniallible, and exclaimed
81 don, keer il there is folks around"
She eujoned the operator to stand ready
at his camera She then sat down in her
fellows lap, and throwing his arms around
her neck, manaSed to cast shadow of
taXcn ringlets as a screen letween the op-
orator aud the proceedings which, however,
were betrayed by succession OF amorous
SOM Is. which revealed her experiment.
When this illmg and cooling had lasted
few minutes, the cunning girl lcaped from
'losh's lap. clapped her hands, and cried to
the astonished artist. olI 1ait.3
Now you've got him! PIT him
hroaghh' Jma3 ia1
--"Arrah, Pat, an' why did marry ye,
gust tell me that for its meself that's had
10 maintain ye ever since the blessed day
that Father O'F!anaigan sint me to your
homes" 1pHa4 .io'4
"Swate jawsi.' replied Pat, "and its
neself thstihaDes thatI NAV live to see
tho day youFe,Yr widow waping over the
~ow,1 sod that Liyers me--thin, by ST
Patrick. Tll'sco how ye get along widont
me, honey" "iIa ,aYaf sl5aTa "au
A clergyman, in the course Of ser.
mon. recently remarked: "You need not
clap your hands SO fervently in prayer
that you cant get them open when the
contribution box comes around"
"A chap being asked to explain the
paradox OF how it was possible for lazy
man to attain SO much education, answer
ed; II didn't-attain-I Just heard
here-and-there-- was too lazy to
forget" N iois- -ipt.f,D
Old Mrs. Lawson was called as witness
She was sharp and wide awake At, tlnst
the cross examing lawyer, out Of all pa
i,ience, exclaimed: Mrs. Lawson, you
have BRASS enough in your face to make a
twelve quart pail "Yes, she replied,
and y0u'y sass 9 enough tofi!h.'
We'll, farmer. you told US your place
was good place for hunting; now we have
trampe,l itfor three hours, and found 10
game Just So said the farmer; 'as a
general thing, the less game there IL, the
more hunting you have
-A bold assessor in Michigan noti :
fclan amateur midwife to pay for her. H.
csnsc: she answered whatever she did in that
way was to "accommodate'' her neighbors,
and hespcl Goals Of fire upon the Official S
al,ead by offering to bring him through graf
isif be should ever be ''in that pretarious
situation "a ~.
We frequently hear Of our generals
capturing pieces Of artillery" whats
the use Of continually capturing pieces?"
ssy. Mrs partiuyton. 7"Why not capture
whole onesa'
--+--',Doctor.' said despairing patient
10 his ply sician, 81 am in . dreadful situs.
tions can neither iav nor sci. what shall
DOR "Why, then" replied the doctor,
IL think you had better roost.n
"a sprcad.eaSle orator Of New York
State wanted the wings Of a bird that he
Nigh, ly to every town and county, TO ev.
cry village and hamlet" but he wilted
whena nsasLty boy in tAs crowd sang out:
---"Dfy up, you------oll fool you'd get
shot f"f wild goose. before you had flown
bAlRt.e.'lodss. ss.f
~----When Judge, mamber1 o
Congress from Ohio years ago. was oppos
.tAt the second election, on Acsopat oi in
temperate habits, ho good nstnre,ily admit
tod the fact. hut insisted that he neycf Sa
20 drunk as not to fairly represent bis con
stitusnts! H. VAS elected bys triumphan
msjo,ity. p a VI ss 7o7
A rich nabob in aswcstsrn city, on be
ing run,ovst. thua consoled himself =
isn'' sdent that I mind that I'm
tr ing run owe
a mad,