The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1866-11-15
.., .e ... 81 From the Toledo Blade.
MIR. Nnsby Dreams q Dream-A
johnson King.
CoNFEDR1T K ROADS,
(wich is in the Stait of Kentucky,)

feX NV whisky, wich, eff twaSnt counter
acted, wood make me entirely too ETHEREAL
for this grovelin world. ] eat pork to le-
strain my exuberant imaginashun and en-
able me to come down to the dry detail NV
offishal life-to fit me for the proper di1
charge NV my doo5aes ez a Postmaster
Whisky lifts me above the posishun-po k
brings me back agin. It's fat and greasy
like the payrand perquisites NV the Post
comes from the most nasty, sense 7
less and unclean Nv animals, like our tel3- /
short, 1 recommend ali
Johnson's Postmasters to eat pork. u
their material diet.
Last mite partook NV q pound or so TOO !
much, and ez a conscience, didn't sleep
well. While | wuz eatin, (moistnin my
lips with. louisville consolation, the while,)
wuz a musin onto Stewards question
whether they wood hev johnson President
or King, and while musin l fell in2 the
arms of Morfus. My mind bust loose
ON the body and sored. Ez | sunk to
slumber the narrow room wich is at wunst
my offs and dormitory, widened and en-
larged, the humble chairs become sudden
ly upholstered in gorgus syle, the talll3
dip become multiplied into thousands w
gorgus chandeliers, the portraits his
Highness the President, and the other
Democrats on the wall became alive. ]
comprehended the situation to wunst.-
Andrew John had cut the Gorjan knot
with SOMEBODY'S sword, and he'd carried
out his Policy to its material concloosiou.-
He wuz reignin under the title nv AndIoo
the /, and / wuz lin my dreem of course)
in his kingly halls.
il wuz, methawt, q reception mite. His
High Mightiness wuz sittin onto a ele-
waited throne covered with red velvet and
studded with diamonds, and pearls, and
lonyxs and other precious stones--onto his
head wuz a crown, and he wuz envelope6
into n robe NV black velvet, his nose anC
the balance NV his face gleamin out like {
flash NV litenin from thunder cloud
Lyin pcostrate at the foot NV the throne
doin the offs NV footstool, wuz Charles
Sumner, wunst Senator, wich wuz typikle
NV the complete triumph we he'd won over
our enemies, while doin other menial Off
ces about the halls, wuz Wade, Wilson,
Fessenden, Sherman and others who he'd
opposed the change from a Republic TO a
| Kingdom. They wuz clothed in a appro-
prit costoom, knee breeches and sich, and
presented pekoolyerly imposin appear
ance.
Carriages containing the nobility began
to arrive, and ez they entered, the Grand
High Lord Chamberlin Nv the Pals, the
Marks Won Randall, announctem. "Dook
de Davis" was ejackelatid, and Jetfson en-
tered. earl Won Toombs,' - "Sir Joseph f.
Johnston, ""Markis de Boureg,rd, "Count
de Pollard" and so forth.
NoLicin that the titles l he'd heerd wu2
mostly tackled to Southern men, asked
Giddy Wells, who wuZ standin by, why il
wuz thus, and he sed that NOrthners wusn't
RELY fit for it. We wuz, he sed, a low
grovlin race and coodent adapt ourselves
to the habits NV nobility. The South wu2
shivelrus and Good do it. They wuz given
to tournaments and sich-they he'd got ac
customed to circus clothes and Good wear
sword without its gettin awkwardly be
tween their legs. Northern men, sich es
) were faith-ll, wuz allowed to bask in The
> smiles NV royalty, but it wuz in sich pc
! sitions ez sooted their capacity. lie fol
= instance, he'd charge NV the royal poultry
yard, a position wich he believed he filled
to the entire satisfaction NV his beloved
and royal master. He he'd now four hens
y a settin, each on four eggs, and he hoped in
2 the course NV two years. eff there wuz M
y adverse circumstances, to hev fresh egg
+ for the royal table. 1t wuz a position uN
D great responsibility and one wich weighed
' upon him. Seward wuz privy counselor
) Doolittle wuz steward NV the household
Y and Thurlow Weed wuz keeper NV tn
a Kings revenue, and wuz doin very wei
: indeed.
BY this time the company assem- bled.-
His HighneSs wuz in Il merry mood ant
unEendid hisself Their wuz knot NV tn
= nobility gathered in a corner, and after
earnest interview NV minnit, Count Vol
Cowan advanced to the foot NV the throne
It and on bendid knee demanded q boon. ,,
g "What, my faithful servitor, dost tho
Q most desire ?" sed His Highness.
e eve wood, Your Majesty, hev the pris
J. oners NV state brot into the presence, tina
t we may make merry over 'em."
If ait shell be DONE" sed His Majesty, an
It forthwith Baron Won Steedman, who he
j. command NV the Kings Household Bod
n Guard, wuz sent for them. In momer
n they wuz brot in. They wuz mizabl
d lookin set. Forney and Wendell Phlllic
i wuz chained together, Fred. Douglass an
d Anna Dickinson, Dick Yates and GOV
|, Morton, Ben Butler and Carl Shurz, Kell
e and Covods, while Chase wuz tied to Hori
If Greedy, onto whose back wuZ a placard In
scribed, "The last NV the Tribunes," q
wich Raymond, who left the Radilels an
declared for the empire at precisely tn
~ rite time and Wuz now editor of the Coui
/ Journal, laffed immodritly. Some one eN
= claimed, 'sBring in Thad Stevens" at vie
= His Majesty turned pale and his knee
y smote together Don't, DON'T" sez he, che
10 strength enough lett 10 WAB MS IOngue.-
~ Keep him away keep him away!' an
,o he showed ez much fear ez men do in del
,. rum tremens when they see snakes.
"a Methawt made inquiries and fouu
of that things wuz workin satisfactory. Ge
;s Grant wuz in exile, and Gen. Sheridan he
NJ bin decapitatid for refoosin to acquiesce
~ the new arrangement. The country hC
~ bin divided into dookdoms and earldom
~ and sich, over wich the nobility rool'
N with undispooted1 authority. The primo
~ pal men NV the North had been capchert
ns and subdooed, and wuz fillin menial pos
Of tions in the palaces NV the nobility.
he Lord or Dock or Earl considered himsC
= we'll served onless he he'd half doz
ut Northern Congressman in his house, viii
q. the higher grade NV nobility wuZnt co
is tent with anything less, than Guvners.
a The indebtednis nv the South TO the Nor
he he'd bin adjlstid. A decree he'd bin isho
Nv TO the effectChat Northern merchants w
n shood press claim agin IA Southern
a shood be beheaded and his goods contist
ted. The question NV slavery he'd bin 5
OF tied forever, for the DimelSratic ice NV o
he class to rool and one class to serve W
mt fully establish. There wuz now thu
he classes NV society, the hereditary nobili
L., and untitled officials, and the people;
~ latter, black and white, wuz all serfs, q
ng wuz all done by foreigners, the policy.
" the government bein to nuke the nat
q .vsssA' tsH