Smyrna times., 1866-05-30
WHOLE NO. 608
TeutOnic Anguish.

We all remember that a steamer, the Lady
Etgln, was some time ago lost on trip from
Chicago to Milwaukee, and about three hund-
red persons on board were drowned. The first
report was that all had perishcd; but several
escaped, and returned to their homes after an
absence OF from one to three days. There
lived at Milwaukee at that time n burlv Ger
man, named Triheister Dotswinger, who re-
Jolced In a three-cOrnered lager beer saloon. an
eight-square vrow, and an oval-faced cherub of
eighteen summers, boy by nature, Schneider
D0tswlnger by name, and graceful as young
bologna sausage in all its pristine bloom.
Schneider coaxed his two derivatives to 20
on the ill-fated steamer News came that she
was lost The anguish stricken Teuton, in a
paroxysm of grief, called on a friend to inquire
about his boy; he was informed that all were
lost, and, of course, his boy was a goner. He
seated himself on pile of books and thus held
forth
'Mein Gott-mein Gott, Mr. Bumroy, It's
always Shust so as it never wash since it wash
so, and knows EN-! have so mooch droo-
bles dis day as never wash since make start
NIT mine lager peer grocery. 1t is shust so all
der time, and | feels so pad all dorm here NIT
mine pelly. Let us go und make some lager
peer drink, and tells you pout dat Schneider
what shust now lost me i'll ter Lady UcishiA. "
His friend accompanied the grief stricken one
to a saloon where lager beer was held forth, and
over glass of beverage he thus continued
Now, Mr.. Bumroy, mine heart be aus ka
spielt (played OUT. | make so mooch loves
yer dat Schneider as vot no man never makes
for his pOy. Use had so mOoch trooble nit
him doc. Ven he vos un fine leedle poy, fat
shust like un leedle pig, he had so much worms
ash no poy never had, und it takes more as
zwel barrels OF goot lager peer to get dat poy
| nIItO OfI a..
BUmrOy!
ind den, mine friend, he makes ter leedle
meesles und gOOmeS out all over in und solid
leedle spohts shust like un papy vot is treckled
as never wash, und it cost me more as doc tol-
lars to get dat Schneider away from dem spec
kleS. Und makes play nit him on der vlOor
und have such fun sphanking him as never
wash, und den he makes much grow, und goes
out ter door ven he wants to, shust like mono
dy, so it does his poor ladders heart so mutch
gOot to watch him as you never saw Take
some more peer, -Nr. BumrQy!
" Und den he makes grow shust like notinks:
und he gets So pig in his leedle stumach like
his tadder und shust like his mudder doc He
vas shust such pOy as never wash. Und he
makes himself grow big, und he drinks so much
lager. peer as his tadder, und is 50 much help
IN mine grocery. lie draws peer SO goot as |
does, und | sits all der times seeing Schneider
draw peer, und smokes my pipe ter sleep all
ter ,yIes; und now veels so pad down here
Take some more peer, Wyahcer Bunr0y!
" Und now dat Schneider vas gone make
himself drown on ter Lady Helshiu! He wash
SO goot boy as never wash, und must get odder
little Schneider shust like him. [ dell YOU,
Mynheer BumrOy, never make myself feel SO
pad since dat poy vas nOtink -
just then the door opened and in came
Schneider, living witness fresh from the scene
Of disaster brought up on the cars.
oh. mein Gott, there comes dat Schneid-
err" Jumping up. Oh, Schneider, you
rascal, kiss your poor fadder Coon to your
poor tadder' 5 arms i" They embrace Now
take some lager peer nit your tadder Go kiss
your mudder you rascal Here, kiss your fad
ker, you rascal vot drowns in der Lady Hell
shin; und you rascal ven next you goes nit de
Lady Helshin to ride you sthay here und sell
lager beer, und lets your poor tadder 90 have
tuns not by a tamm sight Oh, mein Gott,
how makes love dat poy I'd rather fnd
yftiy dollars IN gold as drown him nit ter
steamboat