Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1866-04-20
For the Cedar Falls Gazette. ..8
Lines on the Death or Eddie Hunt.

For tAe SGdar Falls Gazette. ...s z.
Lines on the Death or Eddie Hunt.
Why weep for me my parents dear,
Your Eddie's with the blest; ~
They bore me gently to my homo,
In Angels arms ! rest. u B.. ..I-.....
My body cold lies in the ground. -s.
Ny spirits here with God; -. Es.sg
Look not for me in grave or tomb, ..
I'm not In earthly sod.
To Heaven look then, mother dear, ...
~ And kindly pray for aid; ...O- '. far.
,I The earth Is but bubble. ma, ~.
To break and soon to fade. -.N y .
. I've gone where sorrows never come, s..
Where pain will never be;
And shall live an "Angel STILL" s.s..H.
And ofttimes think of thee ..... ..
From the New York Citizen. s,.. Il. ......-..
"reminiscences OF q Country Editor.
N'.t d" BY N. W.. ..
Like a vagrant zephyr of the South
that ruffies the sternness of Winter
day, when the skies are cloudless and
pure, and the lake is blue in the vale,
cometh upon the soul the fragrant
thoughts of the past. And even so, in
the hum-drum routine of metropolitan
journalism, there Is occasionally breath
ed to me the remembrance of that felic-
itious time when reigned the auto
crat Of a country editors sanctum, with
a surrounding world to GLADDEN. in NV NV
smile, or shrink, like blighted blossoms,
in the rigor Of my frown. }n s.' -.Hs' :
l have never had those blissfll days
recalled to be more forcibly than by a
circumstance which happened about a
week or SO ago, when, in looking over
our Cleveland, Ohio, exchanges, l PC
rused the following with fearful ewes,
and clipped it with n trembling hand
I'm THE SHAVING BUsINESs.-Gen-
tie youth, with down on thy chin and
fuzz on thy jaws, and the delicatest
feathery phenomenon on thy upper lip,
all OF which thou wouldst have remov-
cd and adult, with stiff, wiry beard
which thou art foolish enough to want
to get rid of; would you know where
to go? Into the barber shop Of Catlin
Il Evans, south side Of Monument
Park. This is the place to get tip top
unrivaled shave. And they will sham
poo you 80 thoroughly that, for every
agitation, every particular hair on your
head will stand on end like quills upon
the fretful porcupine. Our idea of bliss
Is sufficient competence in commu-
nifty which will tolerate one in the
of his whims, to enable one
to keep five ot six slaves who shall re-
volve around him constantly like 'lu-
minaries, taking turns in scratching
his head /! And tho nearest we thought
we ever got to the next world was
when, occasionally, we sat down in the
chair of some scientific barber, like Cat
lin & Evans, and let their long, grace
full digits play Coming thro' the rye"
and othel standard pieces, on our scalp.
Give Catlin a. Evans call" -.
You, gentle reader, may merely nd
mire the above for its fluency of die
tion, its delicacy of suggestion, and its
disinterestedness of motive |;
but you cannot appreciate the pleasura-
BILE pathos Of my feelings until you arc
duly informed that the writer of this
memorial paper was at one time editor
and proprietor of the Bungtown Blow-
pipe. .a,.. -
This noble sheet was begun for the
solely patriotic purpose of making mon
ey, and died an unnatural death from
nervous disease contracted through the
malignant Obstinacy Of non-sub bscribers.
instituted the concern OH a balmy
morning in May. The first two pages
prospectus setting forth, in elaborate
terms, my political principles to be the
good of mankind and the Improvement
of Bungtown, and, ut the same time,
embodying an able appeal to "stand
by me-" addressing the latter to all
non-subscribers in the universe. The
two pages of the Biowpipe
were devoted to an advertisement of
public lands, for which was to receive
three dollars and fifty cents in money,
ana land Office agency under the gov-
ernment. l may as we'll mention that
l took out the three dollars and half
In old blan kets, and that the "agency"
still remains in the prospective.
But such considerations are superog-
atory. / am compelled to acknowledge
that the main, first object OH my part
was the securing of subscribers for the
BtoOpipe. My first edition
consisted Of one hundred copies. thir-
teen of which were sold, while the re-
malnder We're given away to my per-
,onal friends and used to solicit ex-
changes from my cotempOraries. In
The space Of four days my actual circu-
alton increased to two hundred and
ffty. Bungtown contained an adult
male population of about six hundred,
including the butcher, who couldn't
'ead, and the patients i'm the Lunatic
Asylum, eighteen in number) who
we're not allowed to. My object from
he incipiency, was to obtain the SUBJ
'cription fee from each of these parties,
md advertisements from as many of
hem as hung out a shingle.
l had q most peculiarly persuasive
manner of dealing with all of them.--
The butcher, the baker, the boot and
hoe maker, were successfully tickled,
md successfully brought to terms.
tarted with the fOrmer--Christophe
Jleaver by name, and most egregiOus
lss by instinct-and my efforts were
crowned with almost immediate sue
'ess. The second edition of the BlOU-
'ipe contained the following: -.
MEATS FOR THE MILLION.-Mr. Ho-
ner, in the first chapter of his charm
ng l!liad, has justly and sagely OBJ
erved that " one mans meat is anoth-
r mans poison" The inhabitants of
he neighoring village of Sturgeon may
'e said to be represented by the latter
referred to in the aphorism,
While the metropOlitans of Bungtown
re as aptly typified by the former.--I
The Sturgeonists buy their meats (?) of
'eter Rump, and it Is needless to say
hat they might as well feed OH the |
ough, rank flesh of the sturgeon which |
.rowls for tadpoles in the blue pillows
hat roll by their doors. The Bung-
ownians, on the contrary, are blessed
With butcher who is, i'm every sense of |
he term an ornament to his noble pro-
essiOn. Food At for the gods are the
leshpots that are supplied by the hand !
# Cleayer. We ate a rump-steak from
lis stalls yesterday, and can only des-
ribe our delighted emotions. by COM
.aring the masticatory operation to
lream banquet of Elysium, with hon.
yed Hebe at our elbow, and Juno sit
Ing opposite, with smoking teapot
q her snowy hand. In other words, it |
vas prime! BY oil means, call on
,leaver, o thrice-blessed citizens of
3ungtown asa
Now, Cleaver was the only butcher
q our town, and, as the poison-vend-
ng Rump was in business fully ten
niles away, there was no possibility of
ny competition arising between them.
sut / happened to know that the rival
butchers were bitter personal foes, and
aw no harm in favoring c. with fig
rative pat on the back. On tile day
GLOWING the appearance Of the above,
1eaver's wife (who had learning) read
to him twelve times, and the Mayor
r ps,sS ryfr