Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1866-06-14
Nothing i'm Particular.

1or MIN an eternal WelgAt VI SioIy tHIougn
the merits of Jesus Christ our Lord"
Nothing in Particular.
...... One pleasant item in the new Tax bill
collins are exempt.
What length ought lady's crinoline
to be? little above two feet.
......A book just published in London
tells how to make 1000 puddings.
The largest room in the world-the
room for Improvement.
......It has been asked when rain falls,
does it ever get up again! Of course it
does-in dew time.
......Why is matrimony like beseiged
city? Because those who are in want, to
get out, and those who are out want to get
in.
.....A sentimental chap intends to petit
ton Congress for a grant to improve the
channels of affection, so that henceforth
the course Of true love may run smooth.
......Quilp, who has heretofore been lib
eral in his views, now believes there are
two things destined to be eternally lost
his umbrella and the man who stole it.
.....M. About says of an avaricious man.
that sit had been proved that after having
kindled his fire, he stuck cork in the end
of the bellows to save the little wind that
was left in them
......A writer on etiquette observes, that
g when you are seated next to lady, you
should be only polite during the first course;
you may be gallant in the second; but you
wa, 81 NOT bo fan 5or Till the 0pcart -
......An Irishman who was once on
Journey, said he never liked to see the tables
full Of books and newspapers where he
stopped at night. ''For," said he, 81 can
never find any whiskey at such places"
1.-THE farmers of Durham, Maine, have
lost several thousand dollars worth of stock
by the hands of some unknown scoundrels
who have been cutting the throats of horses
and oxen there in malicious mischies.
I'm Birmingham, England, the other
day, woman accidentally killed her infant
by pressing its head against the front of her
dress, in which needle was sticking. The
needle entered the childs head and caused
fatal injuries.
The following is the answer to a let
ter sent to one Of those advertising swim
dlers of New York, offering, for fractional
currency, to send "certain and quick
mode Of getting rich:" "Work like the
ID, and don't spend cent"
$685.. There is something exquisite in our
countryman's reply to the European trav-
eler, when he asked him whether he had
just crossed the Alps: "Wal, now you call
my attention to the fact, I guess did pass
risin' ground"
......A London cabman said: eff you
run over youngster down here, the folks
don't say dothin', kase they have got more
children and no whites for 'em; but you
jist run over goat or kid. or sow or a
pig, and Pm blest if mob amt arter you
in two minits."
......Mr. Green sued lady for breach of
promise. Her friends offered to settle it
for two hundred dollars. "What" cried
Green, 1.-TWO hundred dollars for ruined
hopes, shattered mind, blasted life, and
a bleeding heart! Two hundred dollars
for all this! Never never never! Make
1t three huadred and its 6argain"'
......St. Ell mos fire, rare electrical phe
nomenon, was observed by r sea captain
during snow storm. Blue flames appeared
on the vessels mast and spars, and one came
so near the deck that thorough observa-
ton was made. 1t consisted of innumera
BILE jets, which made slight Kissing sound.
The captain took these jets on his hand and
found them sensibly warm, but they did not
discolor the paint on the bowsprit.
Employer (sternly)-" Late again,
sir, as usual What's the matter with your
eye ?" simpkins (who had black eye(-
Z" Why, you see, sir-unfortunate accident,
sir. AS I was sitting up studying the
Commercial Oracle the candle went out,
and struck my head against the bed-post "
Employer (grumpily J." Humph! Never
heard four fingers and thumb called
bed post before"
and (for freak was SO gallant in his be-
havior to his cara sposa, that madame became
uneasy and demonstrated against mis- atten
tons as too marked for public observation.
1.-THE d-l!" said Jones, we're married, |
eyes," said the lady, "but
Judging by your department, folks will
thirk we ANTI" "Well-what of it!'' said
Jones. ssWhy, not much, certainly for
you," said the careful dame-"you are
man but we women have our characters to
take care Of" Jones was shocked into pro-
priety for the rest of the journey.
... Punctuate the following lines in such
manner that they will make sense.
saw peacock with fiery tail
saw comet shower down hail
I saw cloud all wound with ivy round
saw giant oak creep on the ground
saw beetle swallow up whale
saw the briny sea brimful of ale
saw vial twenty eight feet deep
saw well full of mems tears that weep
saw mems eyes all in blaze of fire
saw house ninety miles high or higher
saw the sun at middle of the night
saw the man i the moon flying kite
saw a boy tied to the clouds by strings
Pray tell me how I saw these wonderful
things.