Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-11-28
SII Sorts of t5u01 8eaning.
SUI LOVEGOOD'S DREAM,
TARTARUs, AND WHAT HE SAW
THERE.

IIAhIAhUSt AND WuA4 IN DA W
THERE.
IT war orfuI dry, t'other day, George
an indin' a lot owe green whisky, jist
sucked in a skin full owe hit strait along.
The first Mon'ful I swallowed I hearn
splosh in my heels Twas dry an empty
both, by golly-so dry that arter he riz
purity we'll up in my paunch hit soaked
through an stood all over my belly in
draps, maxim hit look a big reticule
kivered wifi beads, but Iswell-tight arter
while an then filled up pretty soon.
As soon as could reach hit, by runnin'
a spoon Randil down my froat, 1 shot off
steam, and sot in to rovin' roun'. Hit
warn't long before I found myself tangled
by the laigs in the dorg fennel, an fell
he'd down hill, so l tho't the mos peace
full thing I could do were to go to sleep
thinkiu' owe runnin' wind mill. Well,
dreamed me a dream. I tho't I we're
in hell, and had been sent there for votin'
the Radikal ticket. I felt the jestice ove
the sentence so much that I didn't feel as
uneasay an mad about hit as I wad a
been, if they had sent me for murderiu'
biine old oman, or maxim a back log
of some gals fust baby, arter soakin' hit
in turpeutine, or sich like common wick
edness. I thought had been thar long
euuff to sorter git used to the whisky
they stills down thar, an / must say that
I thinks hit little better thaDtEe truck
what the skulkers out owe the Confederit
army billed for the Government, because
hit didn't create the appetite to cuss
steal or desert half as soon, an me in
Tophet at that Twas safer whisky,
George, safer whisky. Well I thought
hell was perfeckly roun' hole-as roun'
as a bomb shell--right plumb in the
center ove the yearth. The walls we're
glazed as slick as a ingyun peelin, and
bit were jist half full owe melted dinner
pots, dog irons, and old clock weights,
with a scum of smokin' birthstone a foot
deep. The devil staid aboard owe a boat,
an had hisself rowed roun' list as he
pleased by the jury that foun' the bill
agin JEFF Davis They looked sorter
like they'd like to have another pull at
that job. I think, by golly, they'd
hunt a long spell afore they found hit
again if they jist had another chance. 7
thought thar war long, fether aigcd elects
naiicd onto tire wall to climb hy. They
wer squar aiged up so that the climbin
all had to be done on one side, and when
ever fellers got tired Of swimmin' they
iist sot into climbin' the elects. I no.
ticed the new comers were powerful fond
of climbin'. They'd sorter slack orf
sometimes until they sunk info the melted
clock weights up to the pintsof their tail
bone, an then, by the ghost of a scared
money, they come up overhanded to their
work agin iist wrigglin' an a snortin'.
They worked like squirrels in a tread
mill. Durn'd if they didn't keep the
thing roElin' strait along, an George,
list as sure as you are foot high, that's
what keeps the yearth turnin'. l has
found him out at last Well, one day,
the trap door opened, and the devil or
dered Fawkes to steer under the hole
He steered wild, but arter swimmin'
nearly all over hell, he got the boat under
the hatch hole when down poured the
durne dest lookiu' set Of cusses you ever
seed. Everybody already thar turned
thar heds to look at 'em an clumb faster
skeered at 'em by golly. They we're
Radikals, the las durn'd one. Some had
ropes aroun' their naiks. wifi runnin'
moose Anime the year. Some had holes
in their heads, some had gills cut under
their chins, an every one showed signs
owe hard times an hurry. Among EN- I
seed Stevens, Sumner, Wade, Butler
surname the Beast-an' Wendell Phil
lips. Heyn scz the devil, "what's
wrong above-cholery?" "Wus nor
cholery, the Constitution people has riz,
an we are all here owe course-say, yer
Majesty, is President Brooks here ?"
A" Oh, no, says the devil "Well, " says
Sumner, sorter brightenin' up an rub
bin his hands, Il am durn'd glad he
amt"
"stop mint" sez the devil, wait
on til I sort you all out" He tux up a
needle as long as a harpoon, an with o
bic nile of trace chains be threaded hit.
Then he picked out all the common
cussos from among 'em on a chain, run
MIN the needle in at thar mouths, or let
tin hit come ont thar, I forgits which,
an then hung the whole bunch over the
aidge of the boat into the birthstone -
Gehosyfat; how they sizzled, an sloshed
an dove, an sprinkled hot iron aboutwif
their tails. A string Nv sun perch would
abin list no whar.
While the devil were stringin' the
small fry, Butler, surnamed the Beast,
aideed back to whar I sot in the boat
and keepin' one eye on the devil on
t'other on me, an he whispered in my
year, Whar's Sysyphus I" Sez I, al
don't know. Why?" 40, nothin' only
I wanted to see which knowed the most
Of his traid, him or me-" Then he
whispered, (the mortal eye of his still sot
on the devil) "Say, does yer know whar
his Majesty keeps his spOons?" Sez
I, al does. You see that chain hanging
over the starn2 He keeps 'em in big
pot sunk at t'other aind of il" He jest
went over the starn head fust, and cooned
it down the chair, outen sight under the
birthstone. Arter bein' gone a spell, he
cum back lookin' disappointed like, but
his gineral looks were powerfully i'm
proved by his bath in melted birthstone
| / swow he looked more like human
Sez he, "Gone, pot and ALL" 1 opened
nv eyes. Sez he, "Haint Forney got
Hemo" Saws I. "May be so-he's been