Columbia democrat and star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1867, 1866-06-20
NEW SERIES VOL. l. NO. II.

do 1t certain. seven OF EN- eighteen caratS
strong, with African musk. The other rebel
States will do the same thing, and you.H
have about fifty of EN- to draw seats with,
and you can all stick your legs upon your
desks together and swap lies and vermln, and
be shampooed at the same shop, and the fair
sexes can set together in the galleries and
mix odors, and fan their scent about promis-
cuous. We give you full benefit of your
Civil Rights Bill, see if we don't. You go
On-play your cards. Weare bidin our time.
We are paying your taxes and your duties
and back rations for 1864, and licenses, and
your internal revenue and obeyin your laws
without havin any hand in maxim EN-, and
we are cut off from pensions, and public
lands and you sold poor man s still in my
country the other day because he couldn't
pay your tax on some peach brandy he still
ed for his neighbors two years ago; and soon
you'll be sellin the land for the land tax, and
YOU re trying your best to play the devil gen.
erallv (; but you Il catch it in the'long run. -
See you don't Talk aboutFenians. When
the good men of the North and the South
all get together, they'll walk over the track
so fast that YOU wont have time to get out of
the wav. You'll subside into obscurity, and
your children will deny that their daddies
ever belonged to such party. Excuse me,
gentlemen. but I'm little excited. Five
cents a pound on cotton Will excite any body
that makes it. Tax on industry-on sweat
and toll. Protection tariff for Pennsylvania,
and five cents pound tax on Southern cot
ton-half its average worth-and your folks
will manage some way or other to steal the
other half My advice to you Is to quit this
foolishness and begin to travel the only road
to peace.
Old Blow couldn't keep up with his garb-
led extracts.
'What makes the President so popular at
the South ?''
Contrast, sir-contrast The more he
aim Ike your party, the more popular he Is.
He would treat us about right. L reckon, II
you would let him alone, but you bedevil so
that sometimes he don t understand himself
| don't think he knew for while whether
his peace proclamation restored the writ OF
habeas corpus or not But do you go on and
impeach him, and that will bring matters to
a focus III bet you'd be in Fort Delaware
in week, and the Southern members be
here in their seats and they Il look round at
the political wreck and ruin and plunder and
stealage that S been going on, and theymight
exclaim, III the language OF the poet,
Who's pin here since Ish pin gone Z"
'FMr Arp, suppose we should have war
with England or France, what would the
rebels do 2"
They'd follow. General Lee and General
Johnston, and Longstreet, and Bragg and
old Bory. My opinion is that, General Lee
would head the Union army, and General
Grant would be his chief of staff, and Gen
eral Buell. would rank mighty high, and, =
'sWhat would you do with General Sher-
man p
''Sorry you mentioned him. We'd have
TO hire him. reckon, as a camp fiddler, and
make him sing ''Hal CoLunl6ia," by fire
light. as a warning to the boys how mean 1t
Is to burn cities and tows and dmake war upon
defenseless women and children. No, sir,
our boys wouldn' fight under no such
At this time the man with the memoran-
dunn put down some more garbled extracts;
''Do you think, Mr.. Arp, that if the South
should ever hold the balance of power, they
would demand pay for their negroes ?
Il can't say, sir. But | don't think the
South has lost anything that way. We got
their labor before the war for the vittels and
clothes and doctor bills, and we get it now
| for about the same. It's all settled down
| that way and your Bureau could Mt help 1t.
| The only difference is in the distribution.
| Some of US don't own as many as we used
| to. but everybody has got niger or two
now. and they'll all vote EN- or turn EN- off.
A niger that wouldn't vote as L told him,
shouldn' black my boots.
At this time the committee looked at one
another, seemin' to be bothered and aston
| ished Garbled extracts were put down with
a vim.
Mr.. Boutwell, says he, ''Mr. Chairman,
think, sir, we are about through with the
witness [ think, sir, his testimony settles
the question whatwe oughtto do with South
ern traitors.
The Chairman gave me Republican nod
and remarked,
''Yes, sir, l think we do. The scoundrels
| burnt my iron works.
Whereupon | retired, having general sat
| isfaction. Yours, truly, BILL ARP.