The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1866-08-30
Scraps, Facts and Fancies.

|
man who bets be worse than one VINO Il
no better? 49,,
Why are women hard on clothes
Because, when they buy new suit' VneJ
wear it out the first day. -.
- Why is President Johnson like nnf
poetP Because he can "wake to ecstacy
the living Tyre" (Forney.)
Aunt Betsy says, "a newspaper il
like wife, because every man shoulo
! have one of his own" Aunt Betsy if
right
Why cannot the Emperor of the
| French insure his life? Because no one
can be found to make out his policy.
A newly elected Irish mayor, speak
ing of certain articles in vivacious news
paper, observed-"I despise those under
hand attacks. When I write an anony-
nous letter, always sign nay name"
| - There is an old fellow in Nashville
who snores 90 loud that he is obliged to
sleep in house in the next street to
! avoid waking himself
The damsel who is accused of break
ing young mans heart, has been bound
over in the bonds of matrimony to keep
tho pieces.
Sweet milk is often administered
with success as an antidote for poisons.
White of an egg is even more beneficial,
| being an antidote to more extensive
range of poisons than even the milk
1t is estimated that the amount of
force expended by the human body in
breathing, during twenty-four hours, is
equivalent to lifting one hundred pounds
to the hight of seven hundred and three
feet.
= The Selma, Alabama, Messenger uses
the following complimentary language
with regard to young gentleman of that
place, who is much given to serenading
the ladies': 'For having heard him de-
clare in tuneful strains, to each Of six
young ladies in one evening, that she was
sall the world to him. we can safely en-
dorse him as the most harmonious Tyre
of our acquaintance"
"A LITTLE girl, after having been to
church, was very fond of preaching to
her dolls. Her mother overheard her
one day, reproving one for being so wick
ed. "Oh, you naughty, sinful child" she
said, shaking its waxen limbs, you'll
just 90 to that place of birthstone and
moasses, and you won't burn up-youll
just sizzle." :
= DIR. Francis was a wag, and once,
when early peas were on the table, he
emptied the contents Of his snuff box
over them. "Francis, Francis" exclaim-
ed friend, "what are you about% 81
like them that way" was the answer.
He, of course, had the dish to himself,
and when he had concluded exclaimed,
"You thought it was snuff, did you !?
Nothing but black pepper"
= An Ingenious youth from the Gran
ite State, now residing at Denver. return
ed to his lodgings a few nights since in
state of great independence and erectness
,"My friend" asked his wondering com
panion and room mate, "are you drunk or
sober% "Well," replied the youth, with
the peculiar dignifed and oracular man.
ner which only an intoxicated person
can assume, "for Pixies Peak, sober; but
for New Hampshire, pretty id drunk%
"A woman was testifying in behalf of
her son, and swore that "he had worked on
farm ever since he was born" The law
yer who cross-examined her said: "You
assert your son worked on O farm ever
since he was bornY II do" "What did
he do the first year~ "He MIXED"
- Blessed is the man who hath no
brains, but brass in abundance, for he
shall be the ladies' favorite.
Blessed is the man who giveth many
and costly presents to the young ladies,
for great shall be his reward-in horn.
"A gentle wind-one that presses with
delicious GOODNESS on the brow in the heat
of summer-travels at tho rate of four
| miles an hour A light gale-such as
blows pleasantly from the sea-moves at
the ratio of from ten to fifteen miles an
hour. a high wind-one that whistles
around the corners when the earth is fet-
tered with frost and snow-travels at the
rate of thirty-fve miles an hour: and the
hurricane, before whose might and fury
stately forests bow, has velocity of eight
| ty miles an hour.
- A conceited young man asked q
friend what apology he should make fol
not being one of the party of the day be-
| fore, to which he had card of invitation
eOh, my dear sir," replied the wit, "say
nothing about it, you were never missed. .
- The editor of Western paper OBJ
serves. "The poem which we publish in
this weeks Herald, was written by an es
teemed friend, who has lain many years in
the grave for his own amusement" Or
the other hand an Eastern editor express
es great indignation at the manner ir
which woman who committed suicide
was buried: "She was buried like dog
with her clothes on"
The following is recommended as ar
excellent recipe for summer drink
Take one pint of whisky, stir in little
whisky, then add spoonful Of whisky
and beat with spoon! Take one galloI