Delaware State journal and statesman., 1866-07-10
WIT AND HUMoI,.

AN amusing incident is told of woman
IN England, whose husband, wealthy man.
died suddenly without leaving any will The
widow, desirous of securing the whole pro
perty, concealed her husbands death, and
persuaded poor shoemaker to take his
place while will could be made. Accord
ingly, he was closely muffled in bed, as If
very sick, and lawyer was called to write
the will. The shoemaker, in very feeble
voice, bequeathed half of all the property to
the widow. "What shall be done with the
remainderG" asked the lawyer. "The re-
mainder, replied he, 81 give and bequeath
to the poor little shoemaker across the street.
who has always been good neighbor and
deserving man, thus securing rich bequest
for himself The widow was thunderstruck
with the mans audacious cunning; but did
not dare expose the fraud, and SO the two
rogues shared the estate.
"How much do you charge, massa magis-
trate, to marry me and Miss Dinahf''
why, Glenn, I'll marry you for two dol
lars.n
1.-TWO dollarsl what you charge to marry
Whlte lolksi NASSAU
"We generally charge them five dollars,
Glenn"
well, you marry us like white folks, and
I'll give you five dollars, too" 4a
why, Glenn, that's curious notion, but
as you desire it, win marry you like the
white folks for i've dollars" =
The ceremony being over, Dinah and Glen
being one, the magistrate asked for his fec.
"Ohl no, massa, you no come up TO de
'greement-you no kiss the BRIDE"
"Get out of my office you black rascall''
The following unintentional outburst of
truth is attributed to French lady, whose
friends recently tried to draw her away from
her husbands deathbed: "No, no; let me
stay. 1t is always pleasant for wife to see
her husband dle."
Mrs, Partington says that Ike, having be.
come very much enameled OF siren Of
Boston, has led her to the menial altar. He
didn't appear the least decomposed. On the
back of his wedding-cards were little cubebs
with wings.
few weeks after a late marriage, the
husband had some peculiar thoughts when
putting on his last clean shirt, as he saw no
appearance of a washing. He thereupon
rose earlier than usual one morning and
kiudled fire. When hanging on the kettle
he made noise on purpose to arouse his
easy wife. She Immediately peeped over the
blankets, and then exclaimed:
my dear, what are you doingg"
He deliberately responded, 'I'ye put on
my last clean shirt, and I'm going to wash
one for myself"
Very we'll replied Mrs. Easy, "yOa
had better wash one for me, toor'
Mr.. Lover tells good anecdote of an
Irishman's giving the password at the battle
of Pontenjoy, at which the great SAKE was
Marshal 1.-THE password is SAKE - now
don't forget it, Pat," said the Colonel
Sacks Faith and will not. Wasn't my
father a millerp"
who goes therefn cried the sentinel, at
ter he had arrived at his post.
Pat was as wise as an owl, and in sort Of
whispered howl replied
"Bagsl yer honorl"
"What is thate" said the Sunday School
teacher, pointing to the letter o. Dunno.
said the urchin. "What do you say when
you stub your toet" "Damn it,nwas tbe
preoocious reply.
A copperhead in Maine, who had served
out his term of thirty days in the Augusta
jail, was asked when ne came out how he
liked 1t, II had bully time" said he.
''There were seventy-six inmates of the
jail, and not a did Black Republican among
them"