The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1866-11-22
grraps, ,darts and daaries.

Loving hearts are like beggars-
! they. live on what is given them. /.
The most dangerous offatteries is
the inferiority of what is around us.
A man may have much of the world,
and not be much of a man.
Processing to be Christian does not
create the obligation to be one.
Life, is it not useful ifi is happy !?
Haysssthe egotist. Is it not happy enough
# It is useful says the man Of worth.
Artemus Ward says, "Aet us be hap
.zpY, and live within our means, even it we
have to borrer money to do it with"
IS So The man who made shoe for the
foot of q mountain IS now engaged on
hat for the head of q discourse.
- "Isn't there an awful strong smell OF
;;,igs in the sir2" asked Smith OF Jones'
ifes,n replied Jones, "that's because the
wind is blowing from the sow-west-'
Hearing a physician remark that q
small blow will break q, nose, o rustic ex-
claimed, aWell, I dunno bout that; but l
have blowed my nose great many times,
and I've never broke it,"
A lady about to marry, was warned
that her intended, although a good man,
was uery eccentric. "WelI," she said, sif
che Is very unlike other mon, he is moro
likely to be good husband"
phrenologist has been examining
Queen iFietoria's head. !. He. found the
bump of adhesiveness sadly deficient, if it
existed at ALL In Justice, however, to
this gentleman, we will state that the
Queens head under examination was on
8 postage stamp. *.
Why is a watchdog larger at night
than he is in the morning? Because he
If Yet out at night and taken an in the NOR
g1ing. sA
There are persons who betray their
friends a little only to show how faithful
they are to them. @
) Good men have the fewest fears
He has but one who fears to do wrong.
He has thousand who has overcome
that one. x { ~
s.Taking them one with another"
said Sidney Smith, s'I believe my congre-
CATION to be the most exemplary observ-
ers of their religious ordinances; for the
poor keep all the fasts, and the rich keep
all the feasts.0
- a. fonr-year-old went tochurch Sun
/. day, and when he got home, his grand
mother asked what the minister said
aDon't know" said he; che didn't speak
to me.~ A good many older people
might answer in the same way.
"A man in Louisville, who speaks
from his own experience, says that the
man who keeps playing faro is pretty
sure to reduce his winter wardrobe to a
linen duster.
They are fond of titles in the east
Among his other high sounding titles the
King of Ava has that Of ssLord of Twen-
.tty-four Umbrellas This looks as if he
had prepared for q long reign.
s. ----ssNy dear young lady," exclaimed a
gentleman; sI am astonished at your SEN
fimeents. You actually make me start
upon my word, you do" "Well, sir" re-
piled the dausel, .I've been wanting to
Start you for the last hour"
EAspark being brought before alnag-
istrate on charge of horse stealing, the
Justice, the moment he saw him, ex-
claimed, "I see q villain in your counten-
ance." ssIt is the first time.n said the pris-
oner, very cooley, s:that knew my coun-
tenance was a looking g-glass."
"A paragraph has been going the
rounds concerning an old lady who has q
moustache on her lip; to which a hateful
cotemporary adds that it is not uncom-
mon for young ladies to have moustaches
on their lips; butit is very rarely that they
crow there.
An enraged parent had jerked his
provoking son across his knee, and was
operating on the exposed portion of the
urchin's person, with great vehemence,
when the young one dug into the paren-
tai legs with his venomous little teeth.
aBlazesi what are you biting me for?"
AWelI, dad, you beginned this ere warp
- Whom the reformation Of the world
is complete, fire shall burn the gallows !;
and the hangn1an shall come and sit down
by it in solitude and despair. To him
shall come the last thief, the last drunk
ard, and other representative of past
crime and vice; and they shall hold q mer-
ry-making, quaRDg the contents OF the
: last brandy bottle.
Ono of the "Bureau" officials, while
travelling last week in the cars in Ala
hama. noticed lady with negro girl in
attendance, remarked: aMadame, see
Won have one of my children" eyes, sill"
replied the lady, aI perceive the resem-
blancep' A slight tittering was observed
in that part Of the car, and the "Bureau"
left.
"A good story is told ofa rustic youth
and b1xem country girl who sat facing
each other at husking party: The youth,
snnfbten with the charms of the beautiful
maiden, only ventured a sly look, and