Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1866-12-08

Oasfsvnff Nov lblh lsoo
" NJ Haa Iaffhoes
Hsml1J,sm Hfi Ilsaa
hats jusi fsesited tnuts addressed IN
NE through the Oslffsinn fiviliHh read
II Immediately 10 my FIRST love 10 whom
nid tsas agn, won't you ehthEs youf
eosnohilhlai inidai 10 VI And she double
you'd. And have long since found that
,he ot only had y B,iham NJ her own, NJ
ublei I an he, but also q VA ~ her own,
Of which ain't, ! mention Ibis little fam.
NY tpisod, merely 10 show you that you
are mistaken on the first pint In your
letter. Speaking OF episodes, as 4. ward
calls them, clnim Two. who said, when they
heard your letter, PA, nln'i he Funny
mnn'H 10 which prophetic inlsrrogatory,
replied, no, he's q Merry which Is
my frH pun, also. My "lirst love" said II
was 20 kind of you 10 write, that ! ought
10 answer Your letter, and | will "in haste,
Now, IN regard To my leaving The front hnd
6roying IN the far oil redr through the col.
uuns OF the IIeraI.' | selccled the Her
aid because II was H.; "Rrsl ave ana q
constant friend aud advocate for the sur
feiing II onlirr. II Lrayfd, II wan evil, nj
" WV IlhIfl why w INH NNltHllNH
for wifh"ut bring mentioned, you replied in
siRn'ly, showing ihnt yon appreciated an
address in yonr nafips tongue, thereby sny-
ing me the trouble of employing m inter
prefer Of ;he "iong-sored kind In our
country, tie Y Timhers, assesare known by
their ears, but in yours, only by their BRis
so-callej. Is that PECULIARLY Of Bird Is
land, or are you lineal descendant OF the
Dogherry family?
On the Petroleum Pint, Mr.. Merryman,
many 0f the Borr.crs in this county con
cluded you must be great Bore, yourself
but they were afraid the fash Of your wit
might set the lie (not Bird lsle) on fire aud
explode the Consolidated Incorporated Pc
,roleum- well.digging Artesian, Augur.C Con-
siitucni-boring Company, aud also scorch
the Bird Island Hot Muffin Ginger Bread
Baking Association. But on n slight anal.
ysis, il was found that the gus composing
your wit and also the principal part OF your
carcass contained no hydrogen, on account
of your total abstinence from rdter; hut
was Of the same kind that shines on dead
slumps and rotten logs Of dark nights, frc
aucntly called fox.fre. IL was thought
however, there were symptoms OF sponian.
eOUh COHnousliOH kScc 'HtChsc W Jhih &C
vs. Jerndyce, reported by Dickens.)
On the Office pint, like all great Biogra
piers you overlook truth in your real for
your Haro, in saying | rose from Justice
Of the Peace. "Nary time" II is true, !
once had my Eyes upon that Office, but was
check mated by nm ex.m mher Of the Leg
islature. Such is their love of the people
that they go to Austin, fill their porkeis,
and return home aud generously offer To
lake more official burdens upon themselves.
Is il true that you are not II candidate to,
Alderman Of Bird Island, d have begged
our kind Governor to app, ,you Commits
sioner Of The Tonkaway Bureau? AS ]
have heretofore disposed Of The Dog Is H..
and do not wish to place Tray IN hal com,
pany again, piss TO the Inst part Of Your
letter, in which you desire me ms n friend
to humanity, to give all the information |
can about Mr.. Nero. nm happy TO inform
YOU that il is currently reported here, aud
has been for some time, tina, he is drn'l.-.
In fact, he did not live long after the fir"
aforesaid. hut his mantle seems TO have fal
len on Merry man who is rs funny over
his murdered com. t,ymrn and ravsbSy
country women, as was Nero when he sci
Are to the old home stead and burnt up his
mother r~d,'", has Old Mr. s.. said, THE
e. III tla, men TO, live after th"m. In the
lnng,ia ge Of an illustrious Order, (of hict'
you are member Of the Right Natural De
gree when the les ia from your eyes.
and YOU gaz" in the mirror Of yonr own
mlrlh sprinklcd with the blood Of slnuRh'
ei"i citizens. II Nero ghost shonlh RS"
from the tomb and visit you, yen would
start hnck AT your own ref crions, ~ some
seruclural voice from the far off plains
shrirkel "evcn now hcholl your brother!
wrote this serious sentence, Mr.. Merry
maj, to show you hat life is not all made
of fun, and That wht, might be sport :"
Bird Island, might be death to the frontier
For the bsnrfr Of y"n constituents. When
You are politically deal and dogged if not
d-n'd through all eternity. and ~ tribute
of respect to the det'lnct an hor of tn" Dead
Dog Bill, snhjoiu the following Doggerel
EpiIhph:
Here lies Bird Islands Mcrry-man
Laugh at him Donkey, il yon cnn,
And cat and dog and COW and calf
I'm not surprised to see You laugh
have lingering doubt of the original
ity of the above rp,inpl,, hut it is at least
in point. and if it should he found in any
of the classics, tho printer is hereby au
thorizci 10 put it in -
$50 no more from your friend, for in the
beautiful and appropriate language Of our
distinguished President, al cannot waste
ammunition on II ID. ID.
Affectionately Yours, till Death.
WILLIAM.