The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1866-11-24

t t-se euo az teN naWefed Dy the jealousy OF neT
iOveI; IL ehowed that he was on the watch, and
ielt interestedi she would not have one of those
tame men VINO old not care whether OF no she
nirted, i9t tpen there was no pleasure in coquet
uDgi Out 10 nave Jolly low and a quarrel and
samming of the door, and looks OF defiance ON
meeting, and notes OF apology. and the bliss Of
Teconciling huggiDgt, these we're pleasures indeed
mer thunderstorm.
The j. c., after marriage, often astouishea oil
his friends by proving the least Jealous OF ali
husbands II would seem that, having only lust
so much jealousy to expend, he had exhausted
his stock during courtshp, and left none to en-
bitter the sweets of matrimony.
THR SEvEN-YEARs' CoURT is the horror of a
household. He is often the cause of bitter re-
ordinations and utter desperation in family.
When quite young man he visits very closely,
and gladdens the heart of mamma with host
OF marriageable daughter, who hatters herself
that oneot her live stock is soon to find
market. year or two pass by, and man ma
becomes somewhat fdgety, and is apt to receive
the ). I. @. with naughty looks and little
unaffected displeasure. The poor courtee, after
her lovers departure, is subjected to all sorts
of cross-questionings as to what he said and
dld, and IL he expressed any intentions or even
mooted any hints. Nothing is elicited. The s.
Y. @. comes every day in the week, and
stays all day on Sundays. He has evidently
made up his mind to be one OF the family and
does his best to make all consider him to be at
home. at last, in utter disgust, and In sheer
desperation, the mamma informs her daughter
o. l., u,
or she herself Will. Then, horror of matronly
horrors to the imL atient maternal ear! Lucy
informs her mother that she has made with
charlie long engagement. The loving maternal
calls her daughter fool goose, stupid, and other
sweet endearing terms and there is weeping
and wailing and flirting of skirts. Mater rushes
up stairs to disturb snoring pdter's peace, and
vent her bursting indignation on his night
capped head. He pbllosophically, though
sleepily, asserts that il isn't as bad as it might
be. This adds fuel to the fire of matters wrath,
aud she makes up her mind that there shall
be no sleep. that night Meantime willowy
figure has been soldering and blubbering,
and, after wildly resolving to commit suicide,
run away, and work for living, becomes more
quiet, and sternlY determines to stick to Charlie
at all hazards-then mildly goes to bed. Next
morning revIves the maternal lecture; there is
excitement in the house; entreaties tears slam
ming of doors, seedlings. Every one-the chill
dren, impudent brother Tom, even Biddy-
knows that Lucy has made long engagement,
Her sisters jeer at her, and her brothers leer at
her; worse, the servant offers her sympathy.
However, Lucy is firm. She will wait for Charlie
though it we're hundred years. He comes every
night. The other young ladies of the family
meet him. He is in the way. He is always in the
parlor. There is no privacy in the house. They
cannot feel at liberty with their company, for he
is always looking on. However, they are mar
lied, have children; chrIstenings succeed we'd
dings; deaths follow births; a new genera
ton is sproutlng up-and poor Lucy, seeing the
marks of progress all around her, feels old and
deserted, though she is still haunted by her
S. Y. G.. Nobody leases her now she IS
severely let alone, The meekest of virgins can
endure it no longer; she informs the S. Y. G.
that he has worn out all the chairs in the
house, and her mother can't afford to buy new
ones for him. He considers the remark an
INSULT quarrels, leaves, vowing never to return.
But the force of habit brings him back next
night, when he sees mamma, who arrauges that
he will become Benedict in month from
date - or after seven years of courtship.
Mo- nj nf oh in mo ha k~,,l
years of linked sweetness long drawn out
become like stale ssusaees, nauseous = and
should be abolished by the Board OF Health.
TIE ONE-MoNTH COURT RR, in these fast days
when there Is no time for tagging wasting on
preliminaries is the beau ideal OF cOurlers. In
courtship, as in everything else, there IS only
just so much happiness. Long courtships are
like weak tea, too much diluted to be agreeable:
while short courtsnIps are the highly-condensed
SID of peasurc-little in quantity, it true, but
what thsIe is OF them is the doubled distilled
,-NeHced mn y o.. Nj. c. is generally an expe-
that he has mo mas m MS % ,ime e 80 well employed
q and nevar1 as the introduction TO mar
riasO, ~sl'T ,shinks of courtng a woman
whom he %oulu be united with. Being we'll
acquainted with his courtee before he pays her
attentions, all the silly dilly-dallyings of less
straightforward men are by him avoided. As
everything he says means something, he finds
no difficulty in coming to the point of rejection
or acceptance. Neither the courtee or her
mamma are the least startled when he makes an
offer after the short term of one months arten-
tions, any more than they wodld be surprised to
hear that locomotive travelled as tar in an
hour as a wagon in day.
Strange, though the mothers are unani-
mously in favor OF o. NJ. c., the daughters do not
like such hasty wooiug. They hesitate and
deliberate; they have not had the time neces-
sary to try their little feminine experiments,
and they are as likely to resent oyer-hasty as
over-tardy wooing. In the meantime, the 0. M.
G. is OFF to another market hHis motto is,
''Quick sales and sure returns" He does not
know that, in every woman's disposition, as IN
chicken pie, there is so much venom, and that
Nature provides courtshlp as the hole through
which the noXious vapors are TO escape. Igpo-
rant OF this great fact, the o. M. c., enjoys the
crudities and acerbities which snould have been
removed in a reasonable term of courtship, and
the first year of his married life is apt to be a
stormy one. But then, in affairs matrimonial,
as in other matters, wisdom comes by expert.
ence, and few are competent to act wisely till
they have buried their secondhand some not
even then.