The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-06-04

The Chicago Tribune speaks of Mr.. Seward as
Paynes (the assassin1 venerable friend"
How far the little candle throws its beams!
So shines good deed in naughty world
The dialect of young ladies divides all things
into two classss-the herrid aud the splendid.
Aman in Chicago has been held in $500
bonds for beating his neighbor with his wooden
leg.
man named CrowelI, at Metropolis Ill.,,
eloped with Mrs. Hayden and shot Mr.. Hayden
dead the same day.
named Hannah Townsend, died few days since
from eating wild flowers, which she had picked
on the wayside.
Lizzie Mcdaniel, young lady living at Spen-
Ger, Owen county, .died on Wednesday from the
effects of inhalng the vapor of Costar's rat poi
son.
An editor congratulated himself that his head
was safe from donkeys heels. His opponent
gave, as a reason, that he was never able to make
both ends meet.
Some wretch of punster says the recrimina-
tions of married people resemble the sounds of
the waves on the sea shore-being the murmurs
of the tied. @-s
A dandy inquired at a fruit stand. care these
peaches fit for a hog to eat?' ''Try them and
see, said the apple-womsn.
A school-boy being asked by his teacher, ''Of
what is the German diet composed 2" replied,
"Sour.krous, schnapps, lager beer and nix-cum-
rouse"
daily-the Rep,sbGca,-has just been start
ed in Pittsburg, to support President Johnson
That's right.
George Francis Train is stumping Nebraska
in support of President Johnsons restoration
policy.
An Andrew johnson state convention for
Wisconsin will meet at Madison on the goth of
June.
Four-ffths of the clerks dismissed from the
Good
The New York Erening Post (repubEoan) is op-
posed to exempting United States bonds from
all taxation, local and general Sensible.
An Englshman is said recently to have invent
ed a scarecrow so effective that crow who
saw it brought back all the corn he had stolen
for three years That's ahead of any Yankee in
vention.
At medical examination, q young aspirsnt
for physicians diploma, was asked-''When
does modification ensue "When you propose,
and rejected" was the reply that greeted the
amazed questioner.
The after-dinner Cabling of poor old Henry
A. Wise, at a conviEisl gathering on the aniver-
sary of StonewaIl Jackson's death at Richmond,
Is regarded in certain quarters very serious
matter. Some people can hear owls and wolves
at midnoon.
It is singular fact that what were vast treeless
comprising various species of oak, hickory, cot
tonwood, ash, etc.
Mr.. Stewards recent speech is giving the re-
publican press great deal of bother. How
ever, diversion of their daily maleditious from
the president to the secretary, will be relief to
the reader, and no damage to the republic
Blaze away
Little Bobby, at the breakfast table one morn
ing, broke out in a new vein 81 don't want nv
mother TO marry again, he ssid. "Why not -
was asked with some surprise. Because" said
he, ''pve lost one father, and don't want the
trouble OF getting acquainted with another one."
That nice little boy Starkweather, who
thoughtlessly killed his mama and sister, has eu-
gagged the attention of the Connecticut philan-
thropisss, who so pleased with his amable
disposition that they wish to save him from the
gallows.
Tom Ito his little cousin Reginald, who only
came to school, and whom he diligently takes
care OFF, "Hullo. Reggy what a got there p
An orange? why the most beastly, unwhoesome
thing you can eat 1T any rate, gives hold and
let's squeeze the nasty juice out for you p
The latest style of bonnet has turned up at
Richmond, Ind. 1t is described as consisting
of two straws, tied together with blue ribbon
on the top of the head, and red tassels suspended
at each OF the four ends of the straws. Price
sl9."
s'Sir," said little clustering man to q relig-
ious opponent, ''to what sect do suppose be-
long," "Well, don't exactly know" replied
his opponent; ''but, to judge from your size, ap-
pearsnce, and constant buzzing, / should think
you belong to the class generally called insect"
When you eat an orange in the streets, put the
peel in your pocket, it has an agreeable smell,
and when dry will light fire. By this use of
the orange peel it will never cause a fall break
limb.
A young LADY who was rebuked by her mother
for kissing her lover, justified the by quoting
the passage-"Whatever We would that men
should do unto you, do ye even 80 unto them"
The Fenian humbug has had no other effect in
Ireland than to urge every able bodied man to
gather all his little means, and, with his family,
move to America. Honest and industrious la
borers, who are willing to work for living, will
all seek to leave Ireland before the promised
Fenian INVASION Chicago Republican.
The Troy Wing says: "a novel method Las
been adopted by Superintendent London to
clean out two houses of ill-fame on Fulton
street. which have long been grievous annoy
ance to neighbors. A patrolulan has been sta
toned in the vicinity of the premises, provided
with a notebook and pencil, with directions to
take down the names of every person, both male
and female, seen to enter or emerge from the
premises.
Some burglars entered the residence of Hon.
Geo "a. Pendleton,i in Cincinnati on Tuesday night
while the family were asleep. They made them
selves at home, lighted fire, boiled some eggs,
and made coffee, used the silver spoons (but did
not steal them, helped themselves TO some cloth
ing, and departed.
The Chicago Republican having got rid of