Des Arc citizen., 1866-11-24
SALMAGUNDI.

Ha''i~ SALMAGUNDI.
 feS~When is a lady's neck not a lady's neck? When it is a little bare (bear).
 Why is topel's nose ikea pop> ular novel? 7? ltis read (fed) to the enuss.
 psrWanted to Know.--Whet tho man that fell asleep was hurt any.
 TAX No ONE LIKEs.-Attacks bli ones purse. as Yt sesr"Black Stockings of all colors," were lately advertised in q country newspaper. 1
 DGg- I've buried my best friend,' as the undertaken said when he inferred the quack doctor.
 gs5-Thc Illinois girl who lately lost her speech (save whispering) has had forty offers of marriage.
 nggAPut the strongest minded woman in a bonnet shop and it will instantly turn her head. a ~
 g1pA kind-hcarted husband being in- formed that a friend of his had run away with his wife, exclaimed, ssPoor fellow from my heart I pity him Y
 Beas-""Y Y ou dentist, Bob? Idid not know you were in that trade.v Yes,v said Bob, II follow no other business but setting teeth--in beef, potatoes, bread, and sich hkc.o
 gaig-An Irishman remarked to his companion, on observing lady pass, Pat, did you ever see so thin a woman as that 2" ~Thin." replied the other; .sbotlcrasliun, l seen q woman as thin as two of herput together. havc.'
 sSyy "Sarah,v said young man, tho other day, .'why don't you wear car rigs?v ssBeeanseI | havla't had my ears pierced" q will bore them for you then" sThank you, sir; you have done that enough."
 Bssy-"Look out there! What arc you kicking my dog for?" "I'm kickin' him cause he's full O hcas, and I don't want to get 'cm onmy clothes." .sFleas -thc devil Why, that dog sleeps l with mo" sYes, darn you, that's whar, he gets 'em."
 | Bss- A spread -eagle orator wanted tho wings of bird to fly to every town and county, to every village and ham- 1 let, in the broad land; but he wiited when a naughty boy in the crowd sang out: "Dry up, you old fool; you'd get shot for q goose before you flew a I mile"
 lss- A Kiss on the forehead signifies admiration for intellect. On tho cheek for beauty. On the nose that the kisser8 is an awkward fool. On the chin that, he appreciates "Paradise Lost.v Onj 1 the hand that he has slighted the lady. l On the lips, love. A short kiss, that he is scared or don't like the article. A long onc-"Paradisc Rcgained."
 "A NEW IDEA IN gCRINoLINE.-A new crinoline is announced ill Paris. It isl called cachetrine, to some purpose, and, as it's name indicates, is hidden or i'm perceptihle ill front and on both sides, while long gorcd train ending with a | frill, affecting the shape OfWhat gentle man call s.the tails" Of their drcsscoats, l supports and maintains the trains of tho robes behind, where, with the help of q string, 1t raises onc's skirts above muddy pavement. ts
 Bss~ A plain-spoken Western preacher l delivered the following from his desk :] sI would announce to the econgreration3 that, probably by mistake, there was loft at this meeting-house, this morn-| ing a small cotton umbrella, much dam- aged by time and wear, and exceeding l ly pale i'll color ill place whereof was| taken 2 very large silk umbrella, and of l great beauty. Blunders of this sort brethren and sisters, arc getting little] too common." i@ S ! To THOSE WHO BORROW A PAPER.-] I The following should be read by everyd l man who has neglected to take the pa-3 per published ill his own place, or the) one nearest to him:
 I "Brcathes there a man with soul sol dead--who never to himself hath said] --l will some country paper take--both] ] for myself and family sake? If such there be. let him repent--and have the | DEs ARC CITIZEN scnt-and if "a pass1 q happy winter--he in advance should pay the printer" W H fa.