The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1866-01-22

reudie nan -, Wnere she assumes the sine
cure office of doOrkeeper ever seeming in an
intense state of satisfaction with nothing in
particularly and indulglng in vacant revere.
She may also be occasionally met carrying
pals OF water from the coolehouse. Her in
telligence is sufficient to enable her to eat and
drink, wear her clothes, and sleep when she
should. She also reads in the visages of those
ABOUT her their expression, SEQ vi rendering
Der lrantlc; her mental acumen is not otherwise
noteworthy.
1t Is customary, during the pleasant weather.
Tor the female attendants in the Lodge to give
their charges an early morning airing In troops
OF fifteen or twenty, two by two these fantash
cally garbed patients proceed through the walks
o.! the Asylum grounds. Prominent in their
MIDST IS one styled the" Queen,n rejoicing in her
crown of artificial flowers and old rags. The
usual number of scepnebearers are present in
TINS Institution; there are some six kings Prince
Albert rows in q small boat belonging to the
resident ply sician.
FEMALE ODDITIES.
Now and then, from the motley ranks prone
nadlng, there will dart some particularly hila-
.ious member, who ls soon brought back by
threats, entreaties, or force. The principal of
these undiscipllned stragglers is gross, portly
woman, who, with wheedling smiles on her SEN
sual countenance, attacks every man who may
happen to be few yards off with demands for
tobacco. IL her request is complied with, she
pockets her treasure, pats the donor on the
back or cheek, in token of thanksgiving, aud
reioins her companions at pace scarcely war
ranted by her unwieldy proportions
Another otdity among these poor creatures
Is one who seems TO i'm agine herself steam
boiler, her mouth being the valve. At the bid
ding of her keeper. or for her own ease she
will emit, during her excursions, a screech that
would do honor to the whistle of the largest
boat on the river. 1t is given with passonless
expression and an energy of purpose that are
extremely comical. Leaving her and her asso-
clates 10 wander leisurely back to the Lodge,
let us pass that building and enter the gate OF
the yard of the Retreat. Here we are at once
.assailed by the complaining old maid Miss B.
| This lady is a neatly attired parsonage, some
forty years OF age, of plain but by no means
unpleasant cast of features. Her hair is very
! grey and in thick curls. The only popularity
! in her appearance is induced by the great care
! which she takes of herself, and consists of
mask made from q pasteboard box, with two
! rough holes cut therein, to protect her skin
! from the sun. A fan of the same material is
held in her right hand. The lett is, as a rule,
! occupied in buttonholing visitors. The story OF
| her wrongs is endless. She wishes that she
! could write book to horrify the world with her
! dire revelations of the fendish corruptions and
! abuses that exist in the Asylum. She is cogni-
Zant Of murders that have been committed, and
| gazing carefully about informs you in thrilling
| whisper that she has more awful secrets, but
dare not breathe them; her life would be taken
should she DO so.
Her discourse is coherent and she is generally
! Judged sare by those who talk with her. The
! writer himself once had that belief He knew
what it was to be treated as il crazy Slnce how
ever, she rushed up to him one day, dissolved in
tears and crying Outrage" and exhibited a
bruised finger he has changed his opinion con-
Cerning her, The unheard-of atrocty by which
such serious injury was inflicted was caused by
trolicsome patient snatching from her lap some
needlework. Miss B. pursuing her to regain the
goods stumbled against table and fell. Ten
arsons and forty assassinations we're as nothing
to this VIflany, to judge from her denunciations.
! If it were not for that girl she would never
have stumbled, ii it were not Tor that stumble
she would not have hurt herself, the girl was
| guilty of ala perfect monster should such
things be- etc. etc. Poor Miss B., you are crazy,
no doubt OF it; but there are others as crazy un.
confined. If you had friends willing to support
! you, you would not remain Lere. You are Just
insane enough to be wretched.
LoQUAoITY AND PUGNACITY.
Miss B. is rivailed in oquacity by Mrs. N, who
! however, possesses tar wilder Imagination
Her style is different also, being that of q
/ preacher. AT times she has informed the world
in general, and the writer in particular, that the
whole Institution belongs to her, not rag worn
on the place but is hers; but that her servants
somehow have got the upperhand and order hel
when she should order them though a reckoning
will surely come. Her mood changing, she has
declared that every doctor now on the island
and many who have left it, is her husband. Mrs
N. has singular facility in eXtempore rhyming,
yet occasionally the right word eludes her grasp
and it is amusing to hear her, without pause
overthTowing on all sides sense and syntaX rush
headlong through sentence after sentence before
arriving at the destined goal.
An alteration now going on in the YARD
arrests our attention. Two women stand shaking
their clenchSd hands at each other. One O
them is tall German with disheveed hair sun
burnt skin, and toothless mouth. Her enuncia
ton is rapio in the extreme, and pitched in 8
high key. Part OF her discourse is in, her native
tongue, part in broken English, but all 81
iumbled together so strangely uttered, as II
render us unable to get at her meaning. We arr
less fortunate with respect to her Irish opponent
wrinkled hag, whose maledictions, given will
equal terocity, are every where interlarded by
prOfane expressions and obscenlty.
Satisfied at length that no serious harm will b,
inflicted. by either, we approach a crouchinl
figure, whose preternatural ugliness fixes thu
eve. She is engaged in e1nbroderng strang
characters on strip of cotton CLOTH
"What have you there ~ we ask, irreverently
Take care, don't dare to touch it; hell yawn
before your is the response; and atirighte'
eyes gaze into ours.
whats the matterw
"This is sacred. 1t contains despatch from
the Almighty God 1t is worth millions on mil
hors. l am the Queen of HeaVen!n
Rash mortals That we were! we effect our re
treat
And now there advances towards us will
light tripping iootstrp and outstretched hand
plump female. Her cloChing is soiled and slOvenl
worn. Her countenance is unctuOus with tn
milk CT human kindness and mutton-suet. He
dlscolored teeth are fixed in the thigh-bOne Of
sheep, and her bare arms glisten to the elbow
with the fat OF the animal As she nears us sh
drops the bone, her Read falls to one side, an,
her mouth expands in loving leer. II is She
the iTepressible ''Moonshine.n Woe is me tha
am man. 1t is 1 who nave drawn the crea
ture to us, i have whiskers, ! am therefor
adored. That fearful scene is TO be repeated.
She sidles hesitatinely up to me and extend
her dripping digits-my modesty takes alarm
retire. She grows bolder, pouts her lips, an
essays 10 kiss me; both arms are now extended