The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1866-07-07
% $ T0WsONFoWNs1 Md SATURDAY JULY u 1866 ]..~s ]

SHe goes Uut SHVppipg l,3tisfa 9liunfaHop
ia. No /! thundered Keith, I've otherfish
to- try,n ataai 44aiaii hsa isnt h7gsidaih bna i
h. The boy put his thumb to his nose, and
MIR, Keith, after slaming the doora--as men
always do when they out of temper-re-
turned to the kitchen. The fire was out,
and the room decidedly smoky ,aI,iag IN n
Z I'llg6 down in the cellar and bring up
some COAL said, he, and started briskly
down the stairs On the second step he
put his footlthrough a. rip.in his dress skirt,
stumbling and fell toi,theI bottom of the
cellar, smashed a basket ofeggs and knock
ing over shelf loaded withpans Of milk. :
I Deuce take it r exclaimed he, scrambling
to his feet, and rubbing his head, how do
the women manage with these internal long
dresses? I, shall break my neck with this
yet,''oo'sh I sa.a .aq ~ smabA lio silton !.
h, The. fire, made again. Mr.. Keith be-
thought him of dinner.H He looked at his
,tlme-piece--it was aone oclockA--almost
time for callers.oi What shall he have for
dinner? He had heard his wife say q rice
pudding, boiled potatoes and boiled stake.
. He filed the basin, with rice, stirred in q
! little sugar, dropped in an egg, and set the
vessel into an oven. The potatoes he wash
ed in soapsuds, that they certainly might
be Clean and put them into the teakettle
because they would boil quickersat 'e"d"
4. The steam was 'frizzing in the frying pan
and he was preparing to set the table when
the bell rang ~ t..s -
He caught up the pan from The fire, to
keep It from burning, and made, haste to
the front door, Then. he remembered it
would not be- just the thing to ago to the
door with the frying pan in his hand, SO he
deposited it ON the parlor sofa and answer
ed the ring. .soiassio4l CID ~ shii1 ss|e' "'lr
Il Mrs. Dr. Nudge was on the steps dress
edain all her best - /" a''siaase s'V ''''a''i
Is Mrs" Keith at home = !" ~" '"' S''
MY wife is absent stammered Keith,
and am playing, Bridget Walk in.'t
i, Mrs., Nudge sailed into the parlor, which
was darkened to exclude the sun, and with
out stopping tolook at her seat, sunk into
the frying pan on the sofa, ,.;4i .g...,sl
'Jupiter!' cried Mr.. Keith, you have
done it now easa 5s,a a"ss4sl
Mrs. Nudge sprang up, the grease drip
ping from the rich silk on the carpet. Her
face grew dark. She was tempted to say
something cutting but managed to control
herself, bowed haughtily, and swept out of
the house.
Keith returned to the kitchen'ai little
crest-fallen, for Mrs. Nudge was lady be-
fore whom he desired to appear particularly
we'll. .s.isi;., ..aaf
There was tremendous cracking in the
oven He thought of his pudding and
looking in. The burnt rice had hoped all
over the oven, the basin had melted apart,
and the pudding was not done. He, shut
the door in upon the ruins in disgust, and
looked after his POTATOES only to lind them
boiled to perfect jelly. Is'et
Just as he had made the discovery, there
was assharp peal at the door bell. i
Creation there's that abominable bell
again; l wish folks would stay at, home
After to-day I'll lock all the. doors andJcut
all the bell wires scsiq eaT stre#
AT the door were found Mr.. and Mrs.
Fidget and their children. y - a"'''''a
My dear Mr.. Keith how do you do,' cri-
ed Mrs. ,Fidget. We were in town and
thought we'd Just stopin to dinner, Where
is Mrs. Keith Z, ,a,. jafity ,,s faei aiisf ail
.,i'She's gone away said Keith ruefully,
wondering what he should feed them on
{ walk in do. Lam housekeeper to-day
hoa YES so I should Judge. But of course
you make splendid one remember you
used to be frequently telling Mrs. Keith
and myself how very easy housekeeping
must be. Itmust be mere play toyou. Don't
put yourself out, / abegs'e- iii lasEi4sa tn
III Put myself cut indeed p cried Keith, re-
retreating to the kitchen. Good gracious
what shall / do b. Idigive a hundred dol
lars if only Mary was here where shall l
bacy1i tp'al Ha-ssr1S, aa daiHT 'si'P s9I f' i
He drew out the table and set it without
any cloth, then took off the plates and put
on o cloth, the very one he, had wiped the
dishes on. The task completed, hesput on
some more potatoes and some more steak
burning his steak to a. cinder, took of his
when he did his meat, andaput all
upon the table. There was d loaf Of bakers |
bread in the eupboard-he paraded that
and called his guest to dinner, b,ais,f......5
: a qpizzical smile spread over Mrs. Fidg-
cts face at the sight Of the.repasts Keith |
was in q cold prespiration.o io5,s sa i
d Ma my plates all greasy, and soismy
knife [ can't eat on dirty dishes,' cried lit
tie Johnny Fidget a-aiia' 7@ ''aiH l!s sal
land my fork is wet all over with water
that's dropping off the table cloth and my
tater amt half billed, exclaimed little jane
Fidget. ..es...t ..,, t.s.z. "a
{ A slight noise in the kitchen drew the
Of Mr.. Keith ., Etsv siIet
I,t dupiterpo he cried, if Mrs.. OlF'laberty's
dog ain't making off with my steak = 'o-lt
o He jumped from the table and startedin
hot pursuit, The dog made the best of it,
Keith's unaccustomed attire was a sad
drawback and be made but little headway.
& Kill him = hesyelled to the crowd that
Joined in the pursuit. l'I'll give fifteen dol
lars for his hide r. tae ~ seli $50 l'''A
Mrs. O'Flaberty herself appeared upon
the scene with a skillet of hot water, ag 4,
!: Tech. himyif yer dar, +, she cried.ai sIll
break the bones of every mothers son of
yees. Stand from formust, or yell rue the
dayr .,i.,a S5fle.J a.. .,,sti,
Keith took q step forward, stepped on
the skirt of his dress, and pitched head first
into wine cellar where half dozen men
were playing cards. @ a.. LA
THE devil in petticoats r exclaimed one
Of the gamesters, and the place empted
quicker than wink. l..,ios sial Al |
The police picked up Mr.. Keith, consld
erable bruised, and carried him home. His
had taken. their. departure, and
somebody not having the fear of the law
upon them, had entered and stolen a hun
dred dollars worth of property IS ',aF
Mr.. Keith sent the following note to his
wife by the evening pail:sa
DEAR MARY-Come home; ] give up |
beat. "A woman does have great deal to
do. l confess myself Incompetent to man
age. Come home, and you shall have
uew silk dress, and daughter of Erin to
divide your labors,
aaiaitse Yours, disconsolately,. 4"l
aa,s sat s.s,,5a eiiesi /. 70 tssi & III. KEITH.
Our greatest eateractinr
thesworld is the Falls of Niagara.iiIsJs. sas
The. greatest cave. iRbthe world is the
Mammoth Cave, in Kentucky, s.g g..s- !. j
aThe' largest valley in the world is the Val