, 1866-12-23
CHAMBERMA1DS.
m,r r.u,,u BECOMES Indignant

4~-'%@~-"s
trron, ,ae New York Weekly KeTewI
.n.,ast III rhanf.ef1naids, Of whatsoever
ngr Of nationality, 1hunch inc curse VI
Bachelordaul
They always put the pnlows At T. INC nesp oPpu; ~
sits end OF the bed from the Eas-nu1h;r, ~
that wtIic you read aud smoke before sleep,r
tn, a. il The ancient and h0uored eustom "
| h.che1orsl YOU have to bold your BOOK a!ott
| In an uncomfortable position. 70 keep 'o'
from dszI9g ILL 81 sop5 pis5ws is5ss removed to the
| rene,xn moi the mute suggestion in friendly
| snl,it hut glotyIng In their absolute SOY
eregnsy, and implying {ear II. aelgieihl oggieinaily
and eloat IL eeeret over the pans their
AiWays amer thai, when they hnd you have
transposed tho pillows, they undo yoar
Sts tse sed m eas a.t ae 81 ss sef
II they cannot get the light in an incon-
venient position any other way, they move
If you pull youz trunk ont az inches from
you open it, they always shove that trunk
back sCaiu, They do It on purpose:
If YOU want the spittoon In . ceftain spot.
where II will be haudv, they don't. And so
II Thsv slvays put your other boots IN inas-
ccssibfe places. They chiefly enjoy deposit.
Inc them IA far under The bed as the wall
viii permit. It IA because this compes yog
f3 gel down In an undlEnited attitude. and
make Wild swccpa for them IN the dark With
the hoot}ack, and swear.
TheT slways put the matchbox n some g
other place They hunt mp a new place fol-
Il every day, aud put bottle. or othe!
perlshable glass thing. where TIE box bog st9od .ss,
: glass thing, groping In the dark, and gel
. I Yuurtc1f Into trouble. .
They arc for ever and ever moving. The
| furniture. When you come IN, IN the night
, ! sen can calcnlate On hndlng the ha5sae ,s.s't
; And when you 70 out In the morning, II yot
+ leave the elop-bucket near the door and tht
.. rocklrE-chai1 by the window, whsn 5oa sont
in at midnight, Or thereabouts, yon VIII "a
, / toward the window aud sit down In tha
= slolltub. This will disgust you. They liz
, that. -..4u.,.
. are not going to let It stay there The!
j | they get. It is their nature, and besides. j
= ! sivts them pleasure to he mean and eansra
q r. this why. They would die Il they couldn'
+ Ee Villains.
: they always save up all the old ecraps Q
printed rubbish you throw on the foos
r | aud stack them up carefully on the table
!, ard then start the fire With your valuabl
n ! transcripts. # there Is my one pastteu
! ! lar old scrip that you are down on NOR
;; | thau apy other, aud which you are gradil
= = ally wearing your life out trying to get r
! OF. you may take nll tho pains you p0sslbl
- eau fn that direction; but 1t won't be {
: any use. because they will always fetc
- that old scrap back and put It In the sam
!, old place again every time. 1t does ther
:, And they use more hair.ofl than any 81
- men. Ifehasged with purloiutng the samt
~ they lie about It. What do they care sbou
\ a hereafter! Absolutely nothing.
- If yon Leave your key in the door for col
=. renieuce sake, they viii carry it down to th
- office and give it to the clerk. They do til
a. | under the vile prctence Of trying to protet
;, your property from thlevea-hnt actual
"a they do Il because they want to make 70
f. tramp back down stairs after II vhen yG
II come home tired, or put you to the troab
~ Of bending waiter for It., which walter vi
expect you to pay him something for it.
which case suppose the degraded creatur
divide.
They Keep always coming to make yo1
bed before you get up, thus destroying To1
:. rest and in1ictlDG agony upon you-hnt AFT
u You get up thes don't come any moro t
10 11t day.
is They do all the mean things they can thir
L OF, and they do them Just out Of pure cus5e
e. ness, and nothing e1sa.-
70 Chamberualds are dead to avery huns
u instinct.
e have cursed them in behalf Of outraE.
"a bachelordom. They deserve 1t. III car {
" bill through the Legislature abolishiz
q MARX TWAIN.
te San Francisco November II. 1866.