North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1866-06-20
TUNKHANNOCK PA, WEDNESDAY, JUNE eo 1866. i
A Political Generals SoliIoquy.

+ Political Generals Soliloquy. .7n
/ Whir r.r! 7.H i1g .,dr.1sF I'.10 0
How like rocket vent no, terrifying
! the innocent. .a7 81. 1aas-.1 al r 4t 5as
j Spati .~mo5lg DGR I.ah Il FL. ar
| How like stick falling in the mud did
/ come down. Jur sl $40 st.-G.f;s III .r'i
| When the late rebellion began. did
not amount to enough to add up and give
one to carry. i was sort of second-rate
loafer, begging tobacco, standing around
saloons and bar rooms, waiting to be treat
ed by liberal strangers had no clean
stockings-no neat home--no money saw
ed-no credit-no fine food, and but little
coarse. 4" But suddenly star arose !"---
Brave men were wanted. ! had peddled
whiskey at the polls, to elect men on the
God. and morality, retrenchment, lie and
stick to it closer than any hungry politi-
tration--noble administration--gave me
rich reward. | was made a captain, and
like blue tailed bottle-fy. strutted about
my native town., .f;. .. ..f .. 5-r. .a
Guess l wasut old style, in white gloves
and stripes up my legs. Guess did Mt
support the government. Reckon didn't
get trusted TO little things at stores, ard
when man wouldn't trust me, guess /
wouldn't incite mobs on such Copperheads,
And was put in command of hundred
men. Egad that was a joke. Why
Lord bless you, | didn't know as much
about war as dog knows of his graudfa-
ther--but l had political infuenee--could
absorb vast quantities of whiskey and cod
steal like niger! Or like John Brown.
Or like Ben, Butler. Or like any other
house robbef, ...... .-. u.E 49,.
And went to war. And / hired cor
respondents to mention my brave exploits
in Republican papers. And stole wines
from hospitals and treated my friends. And
read the army letters which hired writ
ten, and which poor fools printed to polti-
cal friends. And | kept out of the way of
bullets and such--and stols piles of house
hold goods from rat traps to pianoes, from
silk elastic to linen intended for infants vel
unborn, and so in the eyes of the late ad-
ministration proved my fitness for higher
position. .. #...r ..-
And was made a brigadier general
| Big thing. Nearly every fool In the army
was brigadier general. While brave
men fought,I stole spoons and such. While
other men were at war, i was Furnishing
Democrats, issuing petty orders, "taklng
toll. from. Union farmers, and sending
chairs, tables, beds and bedding, pictures,
| books, spoons, knives and forks, nut crack.
ers, glass and silver ware, mirrors side
boards, parlor ornaments. laces, silks, and
ladies underclotbss, stolen from private
drawers, and bureaus, up North at gov
ernment expense, to let people know that 1
was saving my salary to beautify my home
Cunning cuss .-. r.--. .......-
And l denounced Democrats, thereby
winning promotion and good opinions from
Republican papers. And spent my SAL
ary for whiskey, except what went for,
nothing now, not much at first! And /
went on raids, capturing imaginary bands
of enemies, reported by the papers as real.
And being an unscrupulous knave, intent
only on money, was hired BY the admin
istration of the late lamented to 90 up and
down the land stumping for, and in behalf
of niggers and Abolitionists.-par mobile
fratum.
And | sent Democrats to the front, and
they were shot down like dogs or dragged
back wounded to die in hospitals, or swear
allegiance to Abraham. And | stuffed
election returns, and / stole cotton wherev-
er it could be found, mules ditto, corn ditto
government stores ditto, and other things
ditto, till became rich, And what lot
of men there were who believed we were
fighting to subdue the rebellion. Twas
merely pleasant little murderous crusade
for cotton and higgers--the cotton for the
rich, the niggers for the poor tax payers to
support.
The war was Godsend to me. 1t took
me from the gutter, or a stool in some sa-
loon and made great man of me. It lift
ed me by the Wristbands right up along
side of great men. And didn't l strut?
And didn't I fall back upon my dignity
And didn't snub those whose servant I
was-and win the contempt of every sen
sible man in the land And didn't nlgger
wenches fall in love with me, and didn't |
keep abandoned women at head quarters
on money stole from my bleeding coun-
try ?" To be sure ! did. That was the ac-
me Of" loyalty ~" That was known as Lin
coin prtriotism. That style was the style
that paid. That style made me popular
with the Abolitionists at home, And
didn't drive Southern roosters from
watching the nest, and didn't I 60 into
that business for them And didn't Igo
into the patent bleaching business on
joint account, half for myself and half for
the government? '-aa atF'e5.5 @". r.. i
There were some good men in the ar
my--some fine officers-some gentlemaniy
patriotic officers, but they were in hard
| luck, and took lower seats. And didn't I
get promoted for being caught out nights,
roaming over the country-poaching on.
| some niooer or white mans domain. in be-