Fremont journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County [Ohio]) 1853-1866, 1866-12-28
A Little Nonsense.

Why is a selfish friend like the letter
P? Because, though he is the first in pity,
he is the last in help.
The men who jump at conclusions sell
dom reach any that are worth having.
These must be got by climbing.
As the quickest way to make fortune,
a acotemporary suggests marrying fashion
able young lady and selling her clothes.
A precept of the Hindoo law says,
"Strike not even with a blossom, wife,
though she be guilty Of hundred faults.
If sense of the ridiculous is all there
is in man, he had better have been an
ape at once, and so have stood at the head
of his profession.
A western poet is the author of these
epigramic lines;
"The old dog Trays ever faithful, they say;
But dog that is faithful can never be Tray "
An exchange says that fashionable
lady in Pittsfield wore her new bonnet to
church last Sunday the wrong side before,
but does not state how the error was dis
covered.
Somebody has said that men are fire.
quently like tea-the real strength and
goodness are not drawn out and apprecia-
ted till they have been a short time in hot
water.
Subjects for conundrums being nearly
exhausted, one desperate joker has gone
back to our first parents, and inquiries,
"Why was Eve not afraid of the measles
Because she'd ADAM"
The Boston Post asks Is not the In
daian man and a brotherl Is he not SO
worm in his regard for our race that in
the West he never lets an opportunity
pass to secure, "a lock of our hair as a mem
ento to be hung in his wigwam
A man died last week in Shrewsbury,
who had become so advanced in his sec
ond childhood, that for some months he
had presisted in carrying to bed with him
each night rag doll which belonged to
one of his grandchildren.
Il think" said a wife who could not
agree with her husband-'1 think, Mr..
Jibbs, we had better divide the house.
You shall live on one side and | on the
other" 'Very well, my DEAR" replied he
"you take the outside and III have the in.
side"
A clergyman was lately depicting before
deeply interested audience the alarm
ing increase of intemperance, when he as
tonished his hearers by exclaiming: "a
young man in my neighborhood, died
very suddenly last Sabbath, while was
preaching the gospel in state ofintoxica-
ticn.
Henry Ward. Beecher's house was rob
bed of wearing apparel, but that divine
says the thieves did not steal even one OF
his old sermons, and thereupon Mr.. B. ad-
"vises thieves never to enter clergyman's
"house without carrying off all his old
''sermons, and thus causing the gratitude
'of his congregation"
Old lady Ito hackman)-" these
udCkS are udug6EOus' Ou never KNOW
who rides in them. We might get the
small pox."
Coachy-'You're no cause to be afeared
of my coach, mum, for Pve 'ad the hind
wheels waccinated, and it took beautiful.
Some writer has said that fixed ides
is sort of gimblet; every year gives il
another turn; to pull it out by the first
year is like picking out the hair by the
roots; in the second year, like tearing the
skin; in the third, like breaking the bones
and in the fourth, like removing the very
brain itself.
At table of one of the New York ho-
tells, lately, rough spun individual was
annoyed by the voracity Of his nearest
neighbor, who monopolized all the good
things he could reach. After witnessing
his operations for some time the blunt Gus
toner tapped the gormandizer on the
shoulder, and said
Look here, old fellow | wouldn't adj
wise you to go to Ohio right way"
"Why notl"
because they've got the hog cholers
out thereIw