The daily Mississippi clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1866-1866, 1866-05-05
NUMBER 24O.
HUMOROUS. I
From the Kniokerboeker.
QUAKER MEETIN.


OF course you've been to Quaker
Meetin'
OF course you've read about Qua
ker Meetin':
OF course you think there's moth
ing smart left TO be written about
Quaker Meetin'.
Notwithstanding all which courses
of objections and obstacles, am go
ing to write about Quaker Meetin'.
The reason is, that I went to Qua
ker Meetin' last Sunday-with TURKLE.
TURKLE came down to our house.
clad in complete gray-in fact, looking
perfectly AMINADAB SLEEKIsH. He
even had gray silk pocket handker-
chief
mark said, she, does thee intend to
go TO our meetin this morning?"
"Well, brother Turkle, if you'll take
me under your gray goose wing (I
beg your pardon, 1 will gladly join
the Society's Sabbath council"
t'Thee must mind thy Ps and Qs,
then, and not look carnally at the sis
ters, nor wriggle thy features into un-
godly smiles; nor blow thy nose over
loud; nor take off thy hat, except
when the spirit moveth a brother or
sister unto prayer"
And in meek obedience to Brother
T.'s instructions, took my seat at his
side upon back bench at the Meeun'
The Meetin' House was full. The
men sat upon the hardest of benches,
with the stifest of backs, and general
air Of wry- -edness pervaded them
On the women's seats remarked drab
cushions, at intervals peeping from
use-colored skirts The rows of
bonnets, (if the head gear of the fe-
male Q's can be so called, all of a
serious tint, between white and old
shingle- e-colOr, reminded me, looking at
them from behind, of battalion of
sheeps-heads close sheared, some wash
ed, and some weather stained.
Upon the raised benches at the
farther end, sat on one side, six un-
mitigated broad brims on the other,
seven uncompromising sheep 's-heads:
Il speak respectfully, and in Pick
wickian sense, The silence was audi
BILE
It was half past ten, A. NJ
Turkle gradually subsided into a
| serene slumber, real or feigned.
can hour past on; Turkle awoke,"
to the consciousness of something
going onr The fact was, that at the
end Of this hours silence, one of the
six unmitigated ones rose suddenly, as
if somebody had inserted a pin into
his person, took off his broad -eaved
roof, and began to sing; (as
supposed, but Turkle said in
the faintest whisper, 'exhort -
The unmitigated then rose with
a jerk, and erhorted for haitian hour,
while l took mental portrait of him;
but the only trace of it that has re-
mained upon my bump of what-d'ye-
callem, is a wig block, painted yellow
lsh-white, with two brown ridges
across the forehead; (the eyes were
kept closed, or at least, seemed so,
from where | sat j a shadow, as of a
miniature pump-handle, down the
middle-face, and a three -cornered mole
near the base The pith of his ex-
hortatiOn escaped me, but the subject
was ''gyts.' l remember this, be-
cause, about the centre Of his song
eXhortation, l mean--a small white
object suddenly appeared near the top
of my nose, with a gray glove back
ing it, and perceiving it to be a slip of
paper with writing thereon, l took it
and read as fouoweth:
Obi wad some power the giftie gle
To see oursels as ithers us
TIL AaR bAlC uhl1lAL-
igated went dorm with another jerk, as
if mattress had fallen on his head,
and rooted himself again.
After which there was a second
eloquent silence of twenty minutes:
Followed by rise on the part of
one of the uncompromising sheep's-
heads, who delivered herself-of a
prayer for quaker children who were
forsaking drab ways, and hankering
after crinoline, or striped pantaloons.
After which, silence, for third
time,
iLa noultioa cona