North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1866-05-09

r
lawsuit. p. A.. II ai e..- - ssm
The Artists Adieu to his Pictures.
You be hanged
When is snow like truth ?--Whsnf ii
does not lie. aiAt s.saa7
How to Ruin your Constitution. Keep
tinkering at it. ..- &c.
A dogma is defined as an opinion laid "a
down with smart. -seaf aa@
y. Organ grinders Deyice.-One good
turnr deserves another. rslr- s..
Do right fear not virtue and honesty
will be rewarded. ,A
Alhum-A drawing-room, man trap set
by young ladies'. ....... ...... ..... ...s,
Woman-An essay on grace, in one VOL
ume, elegantly bound. s- 4a+e. s.. --.r
Gentlemen A manual of good manners
bound in cloth. -r .s.. ia.
Old NIaid-A quiver full of arrows with
no bow (beau) )attached. o. 20
H The friends of labor are generally those
who like it in others. .' . e.,
An eloquent speaker is like a river
greatest at the mouth.
To many poor fellow the bone of con-
tention is his rib. -aH a.AaHs#
The greatest organ in the world-The
organ of speech in woman.
When is wave like an army doctor p
/
When 1t is sargin'.
"Chalking the lamp-post is the term
for bribery in Phiapephia. .--'ra .
Why are the girls of Missouri so sweet7
/ Because they are Mo. ldsses. " @.i
A prudent head is watchful of the tongue
that vibrates in the mouth of it.
The quickest way to make eye-water il
to run your nese against lamp post
I Self-conceit is about as uncomfortable
seat as man can have for a steady thing.
Death comes to a good man to relieve
him; it comes to bad one to relieve So
ciety.
Every bear should be taught to dance,
for what is the use of bruin without hops3
When man is saddled with bad wife
there is sure to be stir-ups In the family.
s.7 Why are pretty women like barking
dogse Because they show their teeth and
don't bite.
, Thought at Wedding breakfast The
bridal reigr (bridle rein) begins with bic
in the mouth ..-.t .. r.. e ..F...'
People who are always sighing and
groaning should be sent to lunatic asylum
as moan.maniacs.
An editor fflicted with hand-organs
thinks the rinderpest cannot be compared
with the grinderpest. -a- f'.
Never tread on the tail of cat, or tell
woman she is not handsome, unless you
are fond of music. it..' II r.
A M1sNoMER.-Calling certain neither
garment, between Eve and six feet in di.
ameter a" petty-coat." .., "a sn.. ....
If you wish to be saint, instruct your
children; because all the good they do will
be imputed to you.
Bachelor--a dandy-lion run to seed in
a garden of beautiful flowers. The in
grated crab-tree of humanity. .s r..
Old Snarl says that love is a combina-
ofdisease--an affection the heart, and
an inflammation of the brain. si's} ssF
Mrs. Jones declares that the only way a
traveller can avoid being in railroad coils
sions,n a-days is to take the other train.
Fashionable young lady detaching her
hair before retiring "What dreams may,
come when we have shuffied off this mortal
coil p n aai j. ..r..r'r a.-
All nonsense---Getting up with Iarks in
the morning, when you've been up on q
lark all night. What says our fast young
men !? . --E .jt.s .c.g7. - ..
b There is an old saying, and true one
! that there is no telling what man is worth
until he is dead and his funeral expenses
paid.
Nlll the Young gents who had the en-
counter with the-- lately, favor us
with short account Of the affair for publ
cation
"Toby, what did the Israelites do when
they crossed the Red Sea p, 81 don't know
maam, but guess they dried themselves"
"a "A charity scholar under examination on
the Psalms, beipg asked, What is the
pestlence that walketh in darkness ?" re-
| piled, "Please, sir, bed-bugs."
"lThe ponnr lady who lost her veil uhilaA