Columbia democrat and star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1867, 1866-09-12
THE IRON CROSS.
A woMAN's CONFESSION.

A little faded miniature OF a young girl IN
all her freshness. can scarcely believe that
ever looked ike this-I, an old, sad wo-
man, who looks longingly to the time when
the places have known shall know me no
more And yet ], even |, was young and
lovely once. All me! how long it seems
Long ago, longer than to most women, for
the blight fell upon me soon, and l count
nearly all my years by my sorrows.
i was born by the seashore, that same
everlasting food upon whose waters roar
listen as l write My father was wealthy,
and was raised in the lap of luxury. He
died when was ten years old, and most
needed his care. | wish he had lived He
might have made me better woman, and
the story of my life might have been differ
ent, He died, I have said, when most
needed his care, and I was left alone with
my mother. She was not fit'f for the charge
conhded to her. She was weak and giddy,
and she reared me IN her notions of fashion
and folly. / do not blame her that my'life
has been so sad, for it was In my power to
change 1t, but would not. l grew up a
beautiful, fascinating, fashionable woman,
and was greatly admired. You would not
think it, know, to look at me now; but it
Is so. When / was grown, made the dis
covery that my fathers luxurious style of
living had greatly diminished his fortune,
and the perslstency with which my mother
clunz to her accustomed mode of life made
fearful inroads upon the rest. A few years
at the farthest would exhaust it. spoke
of this to my mother, and she acknowledged
it, but declared her inability to help it. In
less than year she died; and oh, such
fearful death / shudder when [ think of
it, though it was years ago, and | seem to
hear her last words to me even yet n ellie,
never marry poor man. Make a rich
match
1t needed not my mother wish to confirm
me In my desire to contract rich marriage,
for had determined to adopt the plan as
the only means by which could escape from
the doom of poverty which / saw hanging
over me- i had not the moral courage to
face it, and resolved to fly from it; but
little dreamed of the struggle that was In
store for me.
When / was child my only playmate
was a boy few years older than myself He
was named Walter Gwynne and was the
son of neighbor Walter and had been
playmates and schoolmates together He
had carried me In his arms often, and used
to call me his pet. As we grew up our
childish affection strengthened, and when
we became man and woman we loved each
other with love that could not die. We
were never pledged to each other, but /
knew his heart and he knew mine. When
mymother lied Walter was very good to
me. O, never had / loved him SO well as |
did them In my gratitude / gave him a
relic that had belonged to my father, and
begged him to keep it for my sake. 1t was
a small, curiously worked cross of iron, and
bore this inscription in German, gave
gold for iron, 1897 twas one of the IA
nous iron crosses that were bestowed by the
King of Prussia IN the waragainst Napoleon,
and had been conferred for merit on my
grandfather. 1t had never been in unwor-
thy hands and gave it to Walter, as he
was the only one / knew who merited 1t
but / did not think then that my hand would
indeed lay upon him q cross of iron never to
be laid down.
/ was deeply attached to my mother, and
mourned for her sincerely; but this was not
my greatest SORROW. a heavier grief came
upon me-one for which alone was respon-
sible, it is true, but which was none the
.easier to bear on that account.
had resolved on marryingHa rich man, as
voVn fortune would not last much longer
4 I was firm in my determination. ] low
Walter Gwynne with my whole heart,
he was poor, and / knew would have
struggle In life; and / had not the
ye to face the world with him. / hated
for my weakness, and would have
-orlds to have been his wife; but /
the moral strength to make the
was wicked, know; but | have
or it since, and If sorrow can make
for sin, then have paid the ut
y.
eeks after my mothers death,
ed with me down to the rocks
sea-shcre- 1t was one Of our
4 5, and It was the first time
tvement that we had been to-
bre than a few minutes at a
5oke to me about my future
4 me what I would do. ! told