Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1866-05-17
Josh Billings at Long Branch.

Arrived here just in time to see the At
lantic ocean, which il now on exibisbuu,
and dewiDg q agood bizzness, tew full houses.
Took bath tew onst, and was astonished
to find the water so saltuous; inquired the
kause ov an Intelligent natiff, and be inform
ed me he didn't care; think the cuss lied.
Thare il about one hundred and sixty thou
sand human beings, and other folks here
now, az near az kan git at it; kouuted
till got tired, and then estimated. 1t IL
perfekly harte renting tew see the femails
here in search ov natural protectors.
I kounted 16 yesterday in one pile; they
awl sighed az passed bi them, with down
cast eyes. felt sorry for them but could
not help them, fori am thoroughly married,
an intend tew remain So There IL two
breezes here, sea breeze and a jersee
breeze, and advise all persons tew use the
sea breeze, for the other il so much used up
before it reaches here, that it soon uses up
everybody after it gets here Shoddy and
Petroleum are both here, and exsite az much
notiss az patent churn, warrented to make
butter in 10 minits from skim milk, but
they say they shant remain long, beksuse
the cir smells so much like old brine.
Yesterday went out krabbiug, and ketch-
ed peck ov them they bite sideways and
hang on like dead boss shoe ; they make
good vitsles enuff, but they amt profitable
tew eat, if you kount your time enything.
They have singular bug here, which they
call the musketow; they roam about in
heards, and are mutch respekted by the in.
habitsnts; caut one day before yesterday
stickin sumthin sharp into me and carried the
bug into mi room and smashed him on the
sli. The bathing IL luxurious, and the bath
ers resemble mermades, half men half win,
men; they awl dress in the choktaw kustom,
and when they emerge from the water, you
kant tell wich IL who unless you ask them
After bathing you feel kind ov lackness OF
limberuess, for wich was advised to bathe
in whiskee. took one immershun, about
halt tumbler, and never felt so stout in
my life. thought could lift an aker Of
land, but bimeby, after the Ticker bad let
20, felt az tho could foller an augle worm
into hiz hole, hadn't strength tew ask dog
teB follsr ms-if ever drink sum more jer.
see Rhiskee, it will be after am dead and
gone.
There is but one church here, but it wont
hold but SO few that nobody don't 90 out Of
politeness. There il 21 hotels, and they
prinsipally built out doors, to give the guests
az much brinaqueous air az possible. The
lodging rooms are small, but handy, each
ons haz q door tew them, and q looking
glass on the wall, and two washboes and q
towel. Dinner is served at 2 o'clock, and
opens with soup, and shuts up with buckle
berry. The servants are generally blak, bu,
menny oY them have lived so long with the
whites that they begin to adopt our kuller
The beach bi moonlite, il worthy ov phil
osopher. Lovers meet here FROM awl parse:
ov the kuntry tew VOW and sware, and mepJ
harie Gums here tough and hearty goe;
home smashed and pleading at evry pour
But the great attrackshuu il the Atlantic
Osean, great hemispheer ov liquor, life
and power, blu water everywhare the eye
kan reach, az gentle az summer evening
mill pond one time, and then again az aw-
ful az water earthquake Upon the whole.
Long Branch IL sensible place tew visit
think tbare il az little nonsense thare gen
orally, as the same number of visitors are
capable ov. JOSH. BILLINGS.