The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1866-10-25
grrans, cfarts and @anties.

And ne WIt6Q,- anu tneu bne
Srraps, eGatts and danries.
When is echo like a visiting acguain-
tance? When she returns your call -
IF a man has great idea OF himself
it. is certain to be the only idea ne ever
IF YOU would WOO lady and are too
t;mid to speak, squeeze her hand. Feel
your way.
plumes in their hats, are said to have
feathered their nests.
"A country dentist advertises that he
will ssspare no pains" to render his opera
tions. complete and satisfactory.
- An 1rishman being asked at break
fast how he came by "that black eye"
said he 'sslept on his fist"
= Wherever he goes, the Radicals give
Butler s.stirring" reception. Of course
spoons arc in demand on all Sstirrlng" oc-
casions.
- Marrying a man you dislike, i'll
hopes ofloving him afterwards, is like 60
ing to sea in storm IN hopes OF iair
weather.
- Ginger is said to be good to take for
q cold, but an old topper, who is somewhat
of literary man, says ne prefers the
shortest and most simple-he uses gin.
The pursuit in which we cannot ask
Gods protection must be criminal; the
pleasure for which we dare not thank him
cannot be innocent.
-"Mister, owe you grudge, remem-
ber thatw 81 shall not be frightened, tor
LBever knew you to pay anything that
you owed"
Sambo had been whipped for steal
ing his masters onions One day he
brought skunk in his arms. "Massa,,
here's de chap dat steal de onions. Whew!
smell him BRET"
There are melancholy men to whom
life is only dismal swamp, upon whose
margin they walk, making signals to
death to come end ferry them over the
lake.
An exchange advertises for "compos-
iSors" who won't get drunk, and ADDS
that athe editor does all the getting drunk
necessary to support the dignity OF the
establishment" =,
Gen. Butler wants to keep the South
ont of the Union until the heavens
melt with fervent heat. His idea ls,
probably, that such cheat" would melt
snoons into ingots, and "the South" be un-
able to identify its property.
- Get married, young woman! Never
uause because your suitor is not handsome.
If he is good that is much better. Few
handsome men are good for much, except
to break wives hearts with jealousy, and
fail in business, because too much tomp-
ted to attend to it assiduously.
An elderly gentleman was travelling
lotelv whie afflicted with bad cough,
which greatly annoyed his fellow-trav,
elers; and at last one of them remarked
insa displeased tone: -,
nSir. that is very bad cough ofyours Z"
esTrue. sir" replied the gentleman.-
aBut you will excuse me, it's the best I've
got" oo, a.,
satisfied with his want of success with an
Irish witness, complained to the court
Paddy replied, "sure an Pm no lawyer,
ver honor; and the spalpane only wants
to puzzle me-" "Come, now 90 you
swear you are no lawyer" said the coun-
sell. aFaix, an T do; and yez may swear
the same about yourself, too, without fear
Ofperjury." .,:
to- turn up; labor, with keen eyes and
strong will, will turn up something. Luck
lies in bed, and wishes the postman would
bring him news of a legacy; labor rises
at six o'clock, and with busy pen or ring
ing hammer, lays the foundation OF com
petency. Luck whines; labor whistles.
Luck relies on chances; labor on charac-
ter. Luck slips downward to indulgence;
labor strides upward, and to indepen-
:dence. o,
a glorious time in one of the puddleS: his
face all aglow, and his rubber boots full of
water. The punishment of staying in the
house the remainder Of the day did not
seem very hard at first, but as his little
heart warmed up with the recollection of
the triumph of the morning, when he had
Waded deeper than any of his playmates
dared to, he could bear the restraint no
longer. and went to his mother, saying
aPlease, mother, whip me and let me go
out againP'
No USE PRAY1Ne.-Two raftsmen were
caught in the late big blow on the Missis-
sippi, when SO many RATS were swamped,
and so many steamboats, lost their sky
,;,.o;n1 Tho raft 1Uas inst emerging from