Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1866-10-27
sWALLOWING OYSTERS ALIVE.

At late hour, The other night, thu
dovr Of an oyster house was thrust open
aud ia s,slked u hero from ,he Sucker
Stale. lie was quite six feet high, spare
Somewhat stopped, with hungry. nnx,
ious coantenance, aud his hands pushed
clear down to the bottom of bis breeches
pockets. His outer covering was hard t,
detine, bot after surveying it minutely
We came toNhe conclusion that his suit
had been made ia his boyhood, of a dingey
yellow linsey woIsey, and that. having
sprou'ed u. with astonishing rapidily. be
had been forced to piece il out with al
coIurS, in order to keep pace with hi,
body. ln spite OF his exerions, however
he hli fallen i" arrears ab u, Il foot o
the necessary length, aud, conet quently
suck that Tar through hi. ,nexpressibies.
His crop of hair was surmounled by the
FUNNIEST little seal skin cap aginable.
After taking a position, h" indul sed in a
long stare al the man opening he birdlccs
AID slowly tjacula,ed-" Isters?
Yes sir. responded the attentive op-
orator, and fine ones they are, ,ou.'
"Well, I've beard Of listers atore," says
| he, "but this ia The lust time I've seed
en-, aud p'ehaps III know what thar
made of atore l II, out Of town"
Having expressed this desperate inteu-
ton, he cnn'i,usIy approached the plate
and scru,inized the uncased shell fish.
with gravity and Tterest which would
have done honor to the most ilIustrious
sehrcaer into the amden mysteries If na-
tire. Al lrngth he began TO soi'oquise
o" the diff uiIy OF getting them out, and
how queer they looked when out
never seed any thing hold on So
takes an am"z1u site of strewin' hoss, to
get IN Out, aud aint they slick aud slipp'ry
wh t ey dyes come? Smo,, as an
eel I've good mind to give that teller
| lodging, ust to r'aize the eff, cts a. un-
Gle j. IS used to say about Specialization
WtIi, sir, was the reply, down with
two bits and you can have dozrn."
"Tw, bits T. exc'a med the Sucker,
now c me, that's stickn'' it on rite
strong, hoss, for ls'ers. A dcz on EN-
"int nothing to chicken, and there's no
e.t'in nore'n a pcayuae a piece for
Mem I've only realized for;y 6.. ricay-
unes on my first ven,ur' in 81. Louis -
lhi ~ s~~~.~ 50. 80. ,~ .~- .-~~A 49,
for dozen, If you'll conclude to deaI'
"A wag, who was standing BY indu lying
in dozen, winked to the attendant to
shell out and the offer VAS accepted.
Now mind, repeated the Sucker, dali
tair-t~o c; ickens for a dozen-yon re a
witness mister. turning at the same time
to 'he w'g, "npne of your trtc tchs, for I've
hear that yonr city fellers are mighty
slipp ry c"ons
The bargain being fairly understood.
our Sucker squared him >cl: for III. onset !,
deliberately pu, off his seal skin, tucked
up his sleeves, and, fork in hand, awaited
the appearance Of No. |. 1t came-he
saw-and quickly it Was bo.ted A mo-
meot's dreadful pause ensued. Tue wag
d,opred his knife and tork with ii look #
mlngied amazement and horror some
thing akin 10 Sbakspeare's iiAml". on
seeing his d"ddy's ghost he burst
luto The ex"lamatlnn-
'Swallowed alive as I'm a Christian Z
Oar Sncker hero had opened his mouth
with P!easurc u moment before, but nrw
1t stood open Fear-n horrid dread #
he didn't know whst-a consciousness
that all wasn't right aud ignorant OF the
extent 0. the ~rong-,he uncertainty Of
the moment was terrible. Urged to des-
perasion, he faIter,d out
Nv hat on earth's The row p
did you swal ow it alive T. said tie wa /.
ii swallowed i, est rs he gin it to me-
shouted the Sucker.
you're q dead manr' exclaimed his
anxious friend ; the creature is alive and
will eat right through you,' added he, in
most hopeless tone.
Get pzen pump and pump it out T.
screamed the Sucker 10 a frenzy, his eyes
fairly starting from their sockets. 30
gracious what ill do Pits got hold
OF my lnnards already. aud I'm dead as
a chicken do somethin for the, do-dont
let the internal sea toad ca: me afore your
sys.'
Why don't you put some Of this on
III inquired the wag, pointing to a bot
tie OF str ny pepper-sauce.
The hunt was enough; the Sucker upon
the instant seized the bottle, and desper-
ately wrenching out the cork, swallowed
half the contents ut draught He fairly
squeaed from lis effects, and gasped aud
blowed, and pitched, and twisted, as If it
"e'o eohtS'uS tHIouHu Hiul Win eitctr.c
eetfect, while 1T the same time his eyes
ran a stream Of tears. At length, he-
coming little composed. his waggish
! adviser aptroached. almost bursting with
suppressed laughter, and inquired:
"How are you now, old feIIow-did you
kill i,r' IT,.
well, l did. hoss ugh, uph 90 my
innards If that lister crit. er's dying ~.
onies didn't stir top,i"n ia me eqoal to
. small earthquake, then .'isins 40 use
ssyin' tit squrmed like serpent when
that KILN stuff touched it; hu II and
here, with = countenance made up Of sup
pressed agony present determination, he
paused to give force to his words, aud
| slowly and deliberately remarked, IF you
get too chickens from me Tor that live
sa;as.! I'm d--d!' and seizing his seal
skin, he vanished.
The shout Of laughter, and the consor-
tions of the company at this finale. would
have made a spectator believe that they
had all been swallowing oysters alive"