The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1866-08-23
Auosrsoll yntelligentst. /.
Scraps, Facts and Fancies.

Why is fashlonaDlo lady INV
sportsman? Because she bags tho hare
IF you wish to know how quick yor
can run mile. tell red-hcaded woman
her baby squints. :.
The definition of love is-"A prodi
gal desire on tho part of q young man tc
pay for some young woman's board"
- The right man in the right place
MARK Lemon as editor of the London
Punch.
A charity scholar, under exsmina-
tion in the Psalms, boing asked "What lE
the pestilence that walked in the dark
ness 7" replied, "Plcase sir, bod-bugs."
-"Tho ocean speaks eloquontly and
forever" says Beecher. eyes," ret0r.s o!
Prentice" and thore is no use OF telllng IL
TO dry up"
TO keep eggs from spelling, eat them
while they are fresh. We have trlod all
kinds Of methods, bat this we think is the
oply one to be relied on Gin any climate .
apo you know who I amp" said an
oSacor to fellow whom he had by the
collar. "Not exactly, sir" tho fellow re-
piled, abut think you must be the ma
lignsnt collarer."
). -. eNow, children," said q school in
spector, awho loves all mon?"
A little girl, not four years old, and ev-
identity not posted in the catechisn, an
swered quickly: Gall women"
49, The best defence Of lying that was
ever read, WAS the remark of Charles
Lamb, related by Leigh Hunt, that "trnth
was precious and not to be wasted on ev-
cry body"
"A person was boasting that he was
sprung from q high family in Ireland
eyes" said a bystander. 81 have seen
some of thesame family SO high that their
feet could not touch the ground"
A young lady writes, Indignantly, to
us to "know when we arc going to let
hoops alonew We assure our fair CORES
pondent that we mover trouble ourselves
about hoops unless there is a woman in
them.
- A man out West says that he moved
SO often during one year, that whenevor
covered wagon stopped at his gate his
chickens would fall on their backs and
hold up their feot, in order to be tied and
thrown in.
"A New Hampshire man having lost
his wife, caused stone to be raised over
her grave, upon which, in the depth ofhis
grief he had ordered to bo inscribed =
aTesrs cannot restore her; therefore l
weep"
An editor thus logically nudgos his
delinquent subscribers: "We don't want
money desperately bad, but our creditors
do, and no doubt they owe you. If you
pay us, well pay them, and they'll pay
yoa."
An Arabian having brought blush
to maiden's cheek by the oarnestnosS of
his gaze, said to her, "My looks have
planted roses on your cheeks; why for
bid my gathering them? The law per-
mits him who sows to reap harvest"
- The editor of the Belleville (Texas)
Couatryman, has seen rattlosnake killed
near that village which was fourteen feet
long, six inches through the body, and
had forty-two rattlcs. Three men, armed
with fence rails, had desperate struggle
to kill him.
A lady residing on Massachusetts, av-
enue, in indianapolis, the other day CON-
znenced tickling her daughter, girl four
teen years old. She continued this amuse-
rnent until the girl became completely ex-
hausted and finally in struggling to free
herself, burst blood vessel and died.
"A cotemporary speaks enthusiastic
ally and hopefully of binding the radical
disunion party firmly together with
"hooks of steel" A good deal Of hook
ing" and stealing" has been going on
in that party for years, and they may bo
considered as already pretty well bound
by the "cohesive attraction of public
plunder."
= A general in "loyal" State has
commenced q suit against newspaper for
publishing dispatch from its Washington
correspondent, stating that facts would
soon be published showing that he had ap-
propriatod silverware and china to his
own private use while with the army in
the South 1t is hardly necessary to
state that the generals name is not But