The Vermont transcript. [volume] (St. Albans, Vt.) 1864-1870, 1866-11-09
The Happy Father.
-" And this is man.

The Happy Father.
And this is man.
WALT WHrMAN.
"Ababo ia the house is wellspring of pleasure q"
MH Enron. There's been a time.
a master time, general muss, an cpl
sode up TO our house There's a siokly
smell Of herbs, a disturbance of furni-
ture, an array of bottles and small
things, there now A new man has
moved in without leave or license. Nv
mother IS grandmaam, my sister is
aunt, and 10, I'm happy father -
Yes, that's what they call it; " that Is
what's the matt ~" Father of eight
pounds CavolfTipois) of sniveIhng.
shutting, snarlng humanity, wrapped
ia twice eight pounds of worsted and
flannel and linen, and stuffed with
don't know how many pounds of roots
and herbs. essences and extracts. Hap
py father Bissful parentl Thank
ful dad : That's what they tell me
ought to be. But, (between you
and l. Mr. Editor,) / don't see it. To
be turned out-of-doors by bevy Of
old crones, to be forced to live on cod
fish and crackers, and lodge on the
edge of the sofa, to be hurried hither
and yon after this, that and the other,
to be always met at the door with a
sh- 'sh, to be called Il brute he
cause your boots squeak, a wretch be
cause the stove smokes, and an unfeel-
ing monster because You object to be-
ing made IA testing machine of TO try
al sorts of vile compounds, to be kept
over hot stove warming cruel and
pap, to have littlc mass of ugliness.
looking for all the world like a skinned
monkey thrust into Your arms, and
be told it lcoks Just like you--is there
in ali this, anything to make a man
happy, or blisstul, or thankful? As Il
man anxious to be happy if it is his
duty, and willing to be thankful if he
ought to be, ask, is there
Talk about mans being a king III
his own house: 1t isn't so, not bv a
long chalk. That shapeless mass Of
ineipient measles and chicken -pox and
Group in the other room is king, pro
prietor, master Of this house, and I'm
servant, errand-boy, waiter For him
| must come and go, carry and fetch,
neglec, my business, unloose my purse
strings, and make fool of myself
generally. To be sure the thing may
grow to be Doctor of divinity, or Il
Bunk President that's a comforting
thought. But on the other hand. he
may develop into common thief, or
a Congressman I've suggested these
things to my wife. but she says she
don't care, he's beauty, an angel,
cherub, now, any way. Bat she can't
fool me. Beauties don't have rcd faces,
and pug noses, and bald heads Angels
don't puckcr their mouths and suck
their fists, and cherubs don't shuttle
and SWIVEL and wink, like toads under
q harrow. No, sir, I've looked the
thing all over, and the only thing |
$50 to be thankful for, is, that they
weren't twins. We're all poor crit
ters, that's fact, and I suppose all
this fuss Is only the corollary to the
candy and corn-balls, and walks and
rides, and other sweet things of year
ago, when l was single and lived at
my ease. BY Jupiter, wish hadn't
done it. I do, pom honor
You young chaps, chasing round af- !
ter silk, and bombazine, and cllico,
and making yourselves ridiculous (
around new bonnets and su down .
hats, think you're mighty lucky, but
wait until you get in my fix; till you /
get sent over the hills feeling like I
thief with sheep on his back to fetch |
the Doctor; till you have TO buy fan
mel by the yard. paregorc by the bar
rel, and soothing syrup by the great |
gross; till you have to tip-toe round
the house, go TO the neighbors to
smoke, and sleep in the garnet, till you
can't work days nor sleep nights; till .
You are scolded and banged aud kick
cd about all on account Of THE BABY
In short, wait till you're a happy faith
er and see how you like the fun then.
Take my advice and don't do it.
Yours, PArER
PS Please don't let my wife know
where this came from, I've got trouble .
enough now Cor. OF the Farmsy and
Mirror.