The Vinton record. [volume] (M'arthur, Vinton County, Ohio) 1866-1891, 1866-04-19

in my criminal weaknes! wish l
had died then; it would have been
better for me. | said nothing, for
could not trust my voice, and
Walter spoke again.
Il want you to decide with view
to your own happiness. If you do
not love me enough to be my wife,
you might learn to do so. But if
it will make you happier to reject
me, do not hesitate.' --
Happier 2 | asked bitterly.
He had been gazing out upon
the sea; and turned suddealy at the
sound Of my voice. 1t was so full
Of bitterness that it startled even
tme.
Are you'll, Nelliep he asked,
anxiously.
no. l answered with forced
calmness; only | can not talk to
4 you about this now, Walter. lean
not now. At some other time
4 have been too hasty,' he said
tenderly. Poor child, you grief
has not grown calm enough for you
to think Of anything but your mo-
ther. | can wait, Nellie. l could
wait lifetime for YOU
A sharp pain shot through my
heart, and it was with difficulty
that | suppressed cry of anguish.
My heart was wrung with terri
bic torture, and felt that could
endure Walters presence no lou
ger. | wanted to be alone. ask
ed him to go back by himself and
leave me, as | wanted 70 be alone.
He seemed surprised at first, but
when | repeated my request, he
turned to so away. l sprang up
and caught his hand.
Walterp
Nellie ?
If anything should happen to
give you cause to hate me, would
you do SOP 3t
Hate you, Nelliep do not
think | could hate you.'
Not even though | should give
you cause to do so 2 | asked, scarce
ly knowing what l said.
4 Not even then, Nellie. would
in Wch case feel great sorrow, but
no unkindness. But what makes
fyoa ask meP He locked at me
anXiOusly as he spoke.
Nothing replied. Go, leave
me now. 1 am weak and nervous
He turned off with a sigh, and as
he went lie seemed to carry all the
light of my existence with him. |
sank down on the rock and gave
way to my feelings. l suffered in
tensely, and my self-hatred became
almost uncomfortable; but still grew
iirmer in my resolution. 1t was
dark when | went back home, and
by that time | had conquered my
heart
Among my friends was a gentle
man whom | had known from my
childhood. He was fifty, at least
and | was just twenty-one. l re-
ceiyed visit from him o few days
after my interview with Walter,
and before he left me, he made me
an offer Of his hand. He told ne
he had loved me for a long time,
but had feared to speak before, as
he was so much older that he fear
ed could not love him, but now
that | was alone in the world, he
felt that he had right to tell me
of his love.
These were almost the very
words Walter had spoken to me,
and they fell with a cold chill on
my heart. l asked him time to re-
fleet Oh the offer he had made, and
was given as long time as | de-
sired.
1t seemed to me that some hid
den power was holding out this Of
fer to me to tempt me to my fate.
He was man Of pure and noble
heart, who wished to make me his
: wife. lie was wealthy and my
condition would be even better
than at present; but did not love
him. Yet | had resolved upon a
rich marriage, and | had no better
prospect than this. Should | ac.
r cept him! Oh, the torture the ag-
ony Of those thoughts | le.t that
| knew what MY course would be
} 1t would be to deceive true
good man, who trusted me, and
, prove false to my own heart.
| avoided Walter, but could not
help seeing him sometimes. He
never said anything more with re.
gard to the offer he had made me,
but | perceived that he was anx.
iously awaiting my answer. Little