Vermont watchman and State journal. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1836-1883, 1866-05-04
miscellaneous.
MADAM SCANDAL.


had never been known to have the least ILL
feeling toward each other, since the time wher
good old Parson Tieknot united them in III,
holy bonds Of wedlock, twenty-five years be-
fore. So well was the fact of their copjuga
happiness known that they were spoken Of fai
and near as the happiest pair in England
Now the Devil excuse the abrupt mention
of bis name had been trying for twenty years
TO create what is called a " fuss in the fami-
ly" between these two old companions.
But, much to his modification, he had not
been able to induce the old gentleman 10
grumble about breakfast being too late or the
old woman 10 give single curtin lecture
After repeated efforts, the Devil became
discouraged, and had he not been person
OF great determination, he would doubtless
given the work up in despair. One day as
be walked along after another attempt to get
the old lady to quarrel about the pigs get
ting into the yard, he met an old lady, a neigh
Dor Of the aged couple AZ Mr.. Devil and
the neighbor were very particular friends,
they must needs stop on the way and chat a
little.
GOOD morning, sir" said she, "and pray
what on earth makes you look SO bad this
mornings Isn't the controversy between all
the churches doing service 7"
"Yes."
"Isn't Deacon w. making plenty of bad
whiskey"
"Yes."
Well, what is the matter, my highly hon
ored master;'
Every thing is going on we'll enough" re-
piled the Devil. "but land he looked as sour
as monkey on crab apple tree) old Blue
ford and bis wife over here are injuring the
cause terribly by their bad example and af-
ter trying four years to induce them to do
right, must cay considered hem hopeless"
The bag stood a moment in deep thought
q Are you sure you have tried every way 7"
"Every way | can think of"
Are you certain -
ayes"
swell" replied she, "ifyou will promise
to make me a present Of a new pair of shoes,
in case succeed, will make the attempt
myself, and see If can raise quarrel be-
tween them"
To this reasonable request the Devil glad
ly assented. The old bag went her way to
old Blueford's house, and found Mrs. Blu
ford busily engaged in getting things ready
for her husbands comfort on his return from
work. After the usual compliments had
passed, the following dialogue took place =
Well, friend B., you and Mr. B. have
lived long time together"
Five and twenty years, come November"
said she.
Sand all this time you have never had
qusrrel,"
"Not one"
al am truly glad to hear it," continued
the bag; =" consider 1t my duty to warn
you, though this is the case, you must not
expect it to be so always Have you not OBJ.
served that OF late Mr.. B. has grown peevish
and sullen at times ?"
"a very little So" observed Mrs. Blue
ford.
Have you not noticed" said the bag,
"that your husband has bunch of long
harsh hair a growing under the chin, side OF
his throat"
"Yes"
"These hairs are the cause OF the trouble.
and so long as they remain, you had better
look out. Now as friend. would advise
you to cut them of the first time you get
chance, and thus end the trouble, and as long
as they remain, you had better look out"
Soon after this, the nag started for her
home, and made II convenient to meet Mr.. b.
on the way. Much the same talk in relation
to his domestic happiness past between him
and the old woman.
:" But, friend Blueford," said che, =" think
Tiny duty achristisn to warn you to be on
your guard. for tell you your wife intends
you ruin
Old Mr. b. was very much us,onished, yet
he could not wholly discrodit her words
When he REACHED home, be threw himself on
bed in pefplexity, and feigning himself
asleep, studied toe matter over in his mind.
His wife thinking this good opportunity for
cutting off the obnoxious hair, took her hus-
bands razor, and crept softly to his side.
Now the dlady was much frightened at hold
ing razor so close to her husbands neck
and her hand was not so steady as it once
was so, between The two, she went to work
very awkwArdly, and pulled the hairs, in
stead of cutGbg them Of b. opened bis
eyes, and there stood his wife with razor at
his throat. After what had been told him,
and seeing THE, be could not doubt but that
she intended to murder him. He sprang
from the bed with horror, and no ex PLANTATION
or eniresty could convince him to the con-
tsry. So from that lime there was Jaw, Jaw,
quarrelling, wfaugling all the time.
With delight the Devil heard OF the sue
cess Of his faithful emisssry, and sent her
word il she would meet him, at the end of
her shoes, At the appointed time she re-
paired to the spot, aud found the Devil at his
place. he put the shoes on apole, and stand
irg on the opposite side Of the fence, handed
them over To her She was much pleased
with them-they were exactly the things
"But there is one thing, Mr.. Devil, would
like you to explain; that's, why you hand
them to me on a stick 7"
"Very easy to explain" replied he. ANY
one who has the cunning and meanness 10 do
~ you have done, don't get nearer than TWEEN
~ feet Of me-" SO saying, he fed in terror.
After awhile the old woman died, and
when she applied FOR admission to the low
or regions, the Devil would not let her in,
for fear she might dethrons him. as she was
10 much his superior. So the old woman is
yet condemned to wander over the world,
creating quarrels and strife in peaceful fami-
lies and naghbofboods. ili Nth eaH
Would you know her name
1t IL Madam scandal. When she died, the
little Scandals were left orphans, but the Dew
II, in consideration Of the past services done
by the mother adopted them and so Won