Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1866-11-22
From the n Y CitiHn.
NOTES FROM A GARRETT.
BY A GARRETEER.

BY GARRETEER.
Few things are more absolutely indespen-
sable TO the genuine garreteer than a
landlady. Any useless affectation of inde-
pendeDce is unworthy the high character OF
the fraternity, and is sure to end in grief
and humiliation.
know, for have tried it, and tried it
thoroughly, as follows:
My garnet was then a somewhat extern
sive one, and contained many superfuous
conveDiences. la an evil hour my heart
was lifted up, and l determined to go it
alone.
] made up my mind to keep bachelors
hall, and [ kept it just thirty days.
| had rebelied from under the mild rule
Of my then landlady, and at that misguided
moment deemed that l had just cause.
AS you will SEQ befoFeI am done, it speedily
became lost cause.
Rebellion don't do in any case nova
days, and secession is a humbug You
haven't the resources, you know.
My main grievance had been hash and
dirty plates; but in due time | came TO long
for hash and to be utterly reckless of the
surface indications of my crockery.
Having entered into vile conspiracy
with myself for the ends and purposes spec
ings Of the likenesses of our leading states
men and fnanciers in an unknown quantity
OF cups, plates, &c., such as had previous
ly seen displayed on more extensive dining
tables
That was the first gun fired at the Sum-
ter Of my rebellion. hit my mark, but it
would have been better to have missed fire.
Then came supplies of tea, coffee Gr
powdered condition), sugar, cheese, dried
beef, pepper, Bologna sausage, crackers,
pickles, butter, herrings, bread, pickalilly,
cabbage, salt, spoons, knives, forks, nap
kins, tea Kettle, coffee pot, and so many
other things, which | remembered seeing
before, that I cannot remember half of
them now. $3.50 1879 slr
II was easy work 10 wash everything UP
the first time round, but it never was half
so easy again gga5e -s
| had a big CRATE and little gas stove,
and knew that should be pretty we'll off
for fire; and then had a gridiron. You
cannot roast coffee TO any advantage on a
gridiron.
Several of my friends heard of my con-
duct and came to see how | got on. Some
of them expostulated, but in vain, and they
all stayed 10 dinner.
| cooked pretty we'll for few days, and
they came again and again, and voted my
experiment q grand success. Then they
began to come into breakfast and tea; but
the natural course Of human events put an
end to all that. You may bet it did !
In the joy of my triumphant heart 1 ex
panded into oyster stews and invested large
ly IN small chickens that would grill easily.
/ ate them also very easily, and so did my
friends. What were the names of those
friends The short one was Bill-dad the
shoe height, if | remember, and had one
of his descendants, and he was a boy named
Bill to this day. He was a comforter, he
was; and he stirred my bile to an unlimited
extent
All went merry as a marriage belle until
all the dishes we're dirty, and | had to do
that washing all alone Not one of my
sympathizers stood by me, and SO l locked
the door and went to the krimlin alone.
You don't know-you can't know-how
some things will stick to plates. knew
that they heated their water for such work,
and SO | heated mine. 1t was hot, and no
mistake. The mistake did not come in I'M
till put in big handful Of tumblers.
when the water cooled so that | could
Epnt my hand in | got out all 1 could of
them, and put in the knives aud forks.
u
was confident of success in that expert
ment.
| put the handles on again afterward as
well as | could, but they were never the
same knives and forks again.
Toasting bread had also bad influence
on that set of forks. 1t does not do to leave
them in the fire too long. They ought not
to split forks up so far
| hniipvn that yUashinn dichnc ,ovo,. MO
intended to be my vocation in iife-that is
unless somebody else should be responsible
for the dishes. The war in China was not
J nearly so disastrous, and Job could have
scraped himself to all eternity in my little
garnet.
| stuck to my text, however, determined
not to be batfied by trifes In fact, l
thought of mailing my dish-cloth up some
where as token that | would never sur
render, and would have done it if l had
had another dish CLOTH
My friends fonnd out that the dishes
were washed, and | had innumerable con
gratulations.
They all stayed to dinner, but there were
not tumblers enough to go around, and they
seemed more than little unskilful in their
management of the knives and forks.
My spoons were none of your common
silver, they were of the real German, and
they stood it bravely and secured we'll
That evening | mistook the coffee pot for
tie sister, and the tea was of an inferior
flavor.
~ / felt to sympathize with the man at the
hotel. Says he, F." If this is coffee | want
tea, and if it's tea, want coffee. want
change of some kind"
So did |; and got it making punch in
the coffee pot. But can't say much for
that brew of punch-it was one of the
things which made temperance man CT
me.
1t does not do to set the butter plate on
the stove, nor to remove it thence to fell
lows writing desk for I tried it, and my
patience was sorely tried by the results.
Paper does not write so well aftersit has
been spread with butter, which does much.
better when used on slices of bread
Another of my mistakes was in buying
= months supply of bread at one time. Be-
fore the month was up, broke one of the
small loaves with a Ratchet, and found the
most beautiful little nest inside, full of
charming wee bits of blind mice If any
OF those mice ever obtained their eyesight,
II was under circumstances Of peculiar
uiinculty, such as rarely attend such mat
ters
Before the middle of the month the char
aoter of my liable began to deteriorate, and
my friends did not fail to notice the fact:
ana one Of them generously brought in a