Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-06-20

, a5 regularly as Lney CAm6 EOunu.
; On the 31st of December, for instance
he never omitted to go down to Reading
! and " see the old year out and the new
} year in, In the company of Tom Whit
fss, with whom he had worn those yel
lew stockings in those school days thai
had passed away more than half cen,
tury ago. Tom and Isaac had been ever
greater eronies as boys than Tom and
iIBgot, but the latter did not like Ton
the less upon that account secretly,
think be esteemed him the more highly
as link between himself and that luck
less family whose very existence he YET
chose to ignore. Mr.. Whifles had init
mate relations with them still they came
down to stay with him whenever his
sister paid him visit, and could act as
their hostess but this never happened
in the last week of the year. Tom was
never to speak of them to his old friend
that was not only tacitly understood,
but had even been laid down in writing
as the basis Of their intimacy.
On the 31st of December last, Mr.. In
got Beardmore found himself, as usual,
at the Padington Station, looking for an
empty compartment, for his own company
had got to be very pleasing to him
Having attained his object, and rolled
himself up in corner of the carriage in
several greatcoats. with his feet upon a
hot tin, and his hands clothed in thick
mittens, and looking altogether like 8
polar bear who liked to make himself
comfortable-when everything was ar
ranged, I say, to the old gentleman's
complete satisfaction, who should invade
his privacy, just as the train was about
to start, and the whistle had sounded,
but one of the most bewitehing young
ladies you ever sat eyes on
Madam, this carriage is engaged, {"
growled he, pointing to the umbrella,
carpet-bag, and books, which he had dis
tributed upon all the seats, in order to
give it that appearance.
"Only engaged to you, I think, sir, +"
replied the charmer fiPpantly. "Happy
carriage | I wish I was. Isn't that
pretty ?"
Mr.. Beardmore had never heard any
thing half SO shocking said to him in all
his life, and if the train had not been al
ready set in motion, he would have called
upon the guard for help, and left the
carriage forthwith As it was, he could
only look at this shameless young person
with an expression OF the severest repro
baton. At the same time, his heart
sank within him at the reflection, that
the train was not to stop till he'reached
his misunderstanding. What iudig-
mites might he not have to suffer before
be could obtain protection ! She was
modest-looking young lady, too, very
simply dressed, and her voice was par
ticularly sweet and pre-possessing, not
withstanding the very dreadful remarks
in which she INDUCED. Perhaps she
was out of her mind-and at this idea
Mr. Iugot Beardmore broke out. not
withstanding the low temperature, into
a very profuse perspiration.
"Now what will you give me for a
kiss, you old-you old polar bear
asked the fair stranger playfully as the
train aew by Ealing.
Nothing, madam, nothing. I am as
tonished at you" answered Mr. Beard
more, looking anxiously round the car
risge in the desperate hope of finding
one Of those newly patented inventions
for affording communication with the
guard.
Well, then, I'll take one, and leave
it to your honor" continued the young
lady with peal Of silver laughter and
with that she lightly rose, and before
the old gentleman could free himself
from his wraps or ward1her off with his
mufFetees, she had imprinted a kiss upon
his horny cheek.
Mr.. Beardmore's breath was so utterly
taken away by this assult,. that he re-
mained speechless, but his eountenanoe
was probably more full of expression
than it had ever been in his life.
80 no, am not mad" laughed she
in reply to it ; although I have taken
a fancy to such a wonderful old creature.
Now, come, if I kiss you again, what
will you give me ? "
II shall give you in charge Of the po-
lice, madam, the instant that I arrive at
"Give me in charge What for, you |
curious piece Of antiquity ?"
For an assault, madam yes, for an
assault. Don't you know that you have
no right to kiss people without their con-
sent in this manner?"
Here the young lady laughed so vio-
lently that the tears came into her eyes.
"Do you suppose, you poor old doting
creature, that anybody will ever believe |
such story as that? Do you ever use
such a thing as a looking glass, you poor
dear? Are you aware how very unpre-
possessing your appearance is, even when
you don't frown, as you are doing now,
in a manner that is enough to frighten
me2 You have, Of course, a perfect
right to your own opinion, but If you
suppose the police will agree with you,
you will find yourself much mistaken
The idea of anybody wanting to kiss you
will reasonably enough appear to them
preposterous.
"What is it you require Of me, you
wicked creature?" cried the old bachelor,
in an agony of shame and rage.
~ want payment for my kiss. To
gentleman at your time of life, who
scarcely could expect to be so favored,
surely it is worth-what shall say p
Eve pounds. What, not so much Well,
then, here's another for your other
cheek" Like fash Of lightning, she
suited her action to her words.
"There, then. Ave pounds for the two,
and 1 won't take shilling less. You
will have to give it to the POoE's box at