Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1866-03-06

and pay him for it Before You do that ~,
y But gQt FFetman--L ident, ,,b1t, my law
yer, Marks did. Fretman was, a nutmeg
school lEteaeket who had gone round NV 1ia2
.6orhoo with his sk66l aftikles,, and r but
'iaoEn .tor Iroup and Calhoun to 60, aud an
Ftended TO send lseVensor. eightdnlore nifi he
,provd himself fright! I soon found that the
little fhutlifef was befeyiii III anything and
on inquiry I found that Nutmeg was. giyin,
powerful long reeesses, and wasoemployin his
time chiefly in carryins on. with d toerabul
SID r. female gal That was gSf4 to him ~: royp
SEQ he heard the gal squeel herself one day,
Jand'he knowd Fretman was a tsqueezinI Of
her'I'rl don't mind cur-boys sqneezin' Of the
Yankee gals, but T n be HbKhfed if'' the Yaan" "
kegs shall be a squeezin- ourn.,. SO / got mad,
and took, the children away.fs AT thefend of
the tefm Fretman' suedumes for S1S dollars
and hired r. cheap lawyer to Gollekt it, Be,
fore THIS time / had Termed some sopse about
lawyer sos 1 hired a COED one, eand sspred
my pocket book down before him, and told
him to take what would satisfy him: Aid
ne etuk:'i:Old.PhilDaVis was the jestiee.-..
Marks made the opehin speech to the effeck,
thR{ eyery professional man ought, to be able
to Illustrate his trade, and be therefore pro
posed to put Mr.. Fretmnant Q on the stand aud
$l'eHthtnh: This motion was fout hard, but
1T agreed with old PhiPs notions Of ".hiph
!estlce,i. and says he, "AIr. Eretnlan you will
haye to spell, sur" Marks then sw0re him
that he; would give true evidence in this case,
ana that he wotild spell every word in Danei
Wqbster's spelling book correktlg to the best
OF. his knowledge and belief, so help him, &c,
saw then that he wer trenblin ali over like
a cold wet dog, Says. Mark; Mr. Fretman,
spell "tisicE;" well he sp6lt it. putin d pL
and a'and a gil and i sh, and I don't know
what all, and I'thouSht h3 7yas Jgoh: up the
first pop, but Marks said he was right. He
then spelt him right strait aloig On all sorts.
OF big words, and little words and long words,
ana short words: Tn7' and afterwords, and he
knowd EN- all, till FINELY Mark ses, s' Now.
sur, spell Ompompymusuk." Fretmari drawd
long breth and said it wasent in the book.
Marks proved it was by an old preacher who
was setting by, and old Phil spoke up with
power, and ses, "Mr. Eretman you must spell
1t surH Nretman was sweatin like a run
down fly; He TUX one pass at it and missed.
ou can come down, sur" says Marks,
you've lost your case" And shore cnuif:.
old Phil give yerdick against him like
darn. - ..-.','H., %; - =. o.. :
MARKS was whale in his way. At that
same court he was about to nonsuit doktor
because he ,dident have his diplomy and the
doktor begd the court for time to 90 home
alter It.: lie rode seven miles and back Us
hard as he could lik it, and when he hahded
1t over to Marks very triumfantly. Marks.
ses, "Now, sur, you will take the stand and
translate this Latin into English, SO that the
court may understand it," Wei, he Jest
caved, for he couldn't do it.
He lost his case in too minets, for the old
squire said that doktor who couldn't read
his diplon1y had no more right to praktis than
g. magistrate who couldn't read the license
that was to jine two couple together, This
is warning to all professional men to under
stand their business, and the moral of the
case is, that a man oughtent to be squeezin
the gals whom anybody eun see him But
don't want it understood that I'm agin it on
proper okkasiops and in a tender manner
There is no squtelin necessary. ''.' 49,"
But must close this brief cpistlc. '.' - ..
'.'' :. Yours truly 81 d. Bill ARP.
P. ST. forgot to menti6ti that the Feed
mems Buro have. had ME up beka,rse Mrs.
Arp turned off her nurse for not talking baby
talk to her chile. She said that. my wife
throwd a cheer at her head. The lying hussy
was ther wePrin Mrs. APPS collar and shawl
that SIZED stole. pinted EN- out to the Bu
ro, and left in defant disgust. The moral of
this is 'stand your grown" OR nurse your ba-
bies yourself. =,