davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-04-27
GETTING INTO THE WRONG BED.

A carrotty. .pollei Ilibernian, named Michael
Mcguire, was recently arrested under the fol.
lowing somewhat singular and whimsical cir.
cumstances -
On the previous night, about eleven clpcS,
Mrs. Rawlins was aroused from her slun'bers
by a loud knocking at her street door. As her
husband had not come home, she, naturally
supposing that he was tho person knocking,
got out OF bel to let him in, and then returned
again to her couch.
There was no light in the room; and the
person whom she admitted staggered about,
upsetting everything that came in bis way
II Immediately struck her that her husband was
tipsy, and she begged him to come to bed with.
out making such noise. To all her remon-
strances, however, she received no answer hut
after a number Of meanderings about the
room, Mr.. Mcguire finally found his way to
the bedside, upon which he sat down.
Mrs. Rawlins upon bis coming in such close
proximity to her. affsetiouately put up her
hand to unite his handkerchief, when, T. her
horror, she found he sported no such enibel.
lishuent, and in lieu thereof she found hr-
suite capillary encirclature about four inches
long around hiS throat. Convinced that this
could not be her "J0nny" she screeched-
"Mercy who in Heavens name, are you q?
Oh.h. :"
"wby Judy, my darlint, ," replied Mcguire
In u soothing tone, "don't you know your own
Micky?"
Mrs. Rawlins still more afTrightod, jumped
out OF bed, and having struck light, discover.
cd, to her amazeneut, that she had admitted,
not her lawful husband, but hor ncighhor,
Mike Mcguire. Raising the window she shout.
ed Justify for the police, and, one happening
to como along, she gave the prisoner into Gus.
tody.
MIR. Mcguire, upon being collarcd by tho
officer, rubbed his eyes and, looking around, OK.
caimrd,-
"Bc me sowl, I'm afeared Two got into the
wrong box but it is all misthake."
The officer, however, lugged him OF 10 the
station. house, and locked him up.
The next morning, being arraigncd before
the police court, the prisoner said that no lived
within two doors Of Mrs. Rawlins, and, in tho
dark, mlstoOk the doors
Thojudge inquired il ho had behaved with
any rudencss or violence.
by no means your honor, said Mrs. Raw
lins."
Mrs. Rawlins' husband. tho "Johnny" here.
tolore alluded to. upon being called, assured
tho Judge that his neighbor was q very harm
less in0fIcnsivo man.
"I'd trust him with regiment Of women,
yer honor" exclaimed Mrs. Mcguire. lie ia ~
harmless asa baby.
After the laughter caused by this sally had
subsidized. the judge said that he should dis.
charge tho prisoner, but recommended Mr..
Rawlins to keep better hours. lest ho might
find Others not 50 harmless in his bedroom bs.
fore him.
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-04-27

The PEAT ESrERPRIsE.-A New York Peat
and Marsh Company has secured perpetual
loan Of nine thousand five hundred acres OF
land known rs tho Cayuga Marshes, from
which they can cut twenty five thousand tons
Of march grass and hag. valuable for paper.
and peat of the finest quality. four to fifteen
feet deep, equal to ono thousand tons per acre
for every loot of depth. Below the peat is u
vast bed Of shell mari, and under that stratum
eighty feet thicbof gypsum.
What are our entcrprising men in New
England doing about our peat beds2 Wo may
not have them 50 deep as the Cayuga Marshes,
but they are rs rich and as valuable. We have
more than ten times ten thousand acres Of peat
beds that are accessible. and with the inven.
tions that have been produced, u million tons
annually may be prepared for market. which
would be used in steamers, factories. on loco.
motives and in various mechanical industries.
The peat beds Of Massachusetts alone contain
treasures that, exhumed, would pay the entire
debt Of the Statc.-Bosion Commercial.
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-04-27
A WARNING.

Those who have closely observed the laws by
which the cholera is governed, speak Of its mp.
pcaranco in this country with the advent Of
warm weather, as sure thing. However this
may be, the following advise in Halls Journal
OF Health can do no harm:
lat. Every householder owes to himself 70
his family, to his ncIghbors, to tho communi-
ty in which hc resides, to have his house, from
cellar to garret, from the street curb to the
rear line OF his lot, most scrupulOurly cleaned
by sweeping, washing and whtewashing.
ID. Every man who has authority in city or
town government, should consider himself
bound by the oath of Office aud by every con.
sideratlon of humanity, to give himself no
rest until every street, alley, close gutter and
sewer is PLACED in state Of as perfect cleanli.
ness as possible, and kept so until tho frost Of
next season comes.
3D.. These cleansings should bc dono now,
because il put of till warm weather. tho very
effort necessary to tho removal Of filth, will
only tend, in the essential nature Of things. to
hasten the appearance Of tho disease, to in.
crease its malignity, and to extend tho time oi
its devastations; because the suns OF Spring
and Summer tho sooner warm into life and IN
tensify the viperic and malignant influence,
which, in its remorseless tread, wrecks 20 moch
Of human happiness and dc'ola'es 80 many
hearthstones.
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-04-27
NUMBER Is.
. SPARE LINES.

What is that which ties two persons and on
" touches one? A wedding ring.
WHY Is a short prince not short prince?
Because he is always o highness.
What length ought lady's crinoline to be?
little above two feet.
A work.house is an institution 90 called De.
cause no work 10 done in IL.
Why Is q quilt like railroad! Because
there ore sleepers under 1t.
II cancel an insurance policy I can't sell 1t.
and il can sell II | cancel It.
Amusement for young ladies on vet after.
noon-knitting their eyebrows.
Young men who idolire young women al.
ways long to be '.joined to their idols.
Why IL an author tho most peculiar OF ami.
mails? Because his tale comes out OF MS
head.
Why should . woman mover marry black.
smith, Because they all have hardened vice..
The rebels call the Unionists, ,Jacoblns The
rascals are sorry that they themselves are
Jacoboufs.
there so dirty that tho assessors put him down
as real estate.
We have no rights which are wrongs To 9th.
er people.
Those persons who do most good deeds are
least conscious Of It.
Whatever you wish children TO be. b" that
yourself. This Is the secret OF all government
and Of ull education.
Sam Houston once said Of jefferson Davis,
"He is as ambitious rs Luciier and rs cold as a
lizard"
No mnn ia born into tho world whose work
is not born with him. There is always work.
and tools to work withal, for those who will.
Wherever tho spirit Of Christ loads. thero
the children love to follow, for il is the great
magnet Of the soul, tho love OF goodness, that
draws them.
The man who has but single virtue Of cha.
rity Is very much like the hen that has bu ono
chicken. The solitary chicken calls forth an
amount of clucking and scratching that whole
brood seldom causes.
A little keen, bright eyed girl Of four vars.
on q visit one evening, was being helped ~ tho
knee OF gentleman friend. and on being told
by her mother that she was too largea baby
to hold, retorted almost Immediately, &C ON
panying her words with nm emphatic gesture {:
"Why, girls nineteen years old sit on laps, and
you wouldn't call them babies would you y
Tho late Stephen Grard, when surrounded
by immense wealth. and supposed to be taking
supreme delight in its accumulation, wrote
thus to friend "As to myself. live like q
galley slave, constantly occupied, and often
passing the night without sleeping. am
wrapped in n Labyrinth Of affairs, and worn
out with care. do not value fortune. Tho
love Of labor is my highest emotion. When |
rise in tho morning, my only efiort is to labor
80 hard during thahay that when night comes
may DO enabled to sleep soundly."
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-04-27

gB- The violent endorsement of the President
by his former enemies, reminds us of little
story:
Miss Bridget O'Toole entered on board q
ship with good testimonials Of character from
her former employcrs.-As bad luck would
have it her papers got lost overheard; in her
distress she called on the captain to aid and ad.
wise her. The good hearted seaman at once
sat down and wrote and signed the following :
"This is to certify that Miss Bridget o "roolo
had good character when she came on board
my ship but lost it on the passage"
The democrats can certify that President
to their embraces, but all else they say in his
favor is only proof that he has lost his political
character. RalioreH Ga:etie.
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-04-27

ABAD MIsrAEE.-Therc hasbeen in this city
for few days past pictorial exhibition called
Evenings with Jesus" sometimes at City
Hall and sometimes at Norombega. On Satur.
day evening the meeting Of the coppcrhcads to
endorse President johnson was held at City
Hall. and the exhibition at Norombega. A
couple Of our most respectable young ladies,
wishing to see the pictorial exhibition, went to
City Hall, supposing It to be there. After sit
ting few minutes, and ascertaining the true
character Of the meeting, they hastily retired
in great indignation. one Of them exclaimins
"Erenings riih Jesus! Epenings ,rith the other
feiicw Ithink."-Bangor Whig.
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-04-27

money and we did tho work; and, there bein
but few Nv US, the orfsis wuz easily divided
Alas, our okepashin's gone. The South is for
ever lost to US, for she has no dirty work Tor MS
to do.
appeal to the Yoonited States NV America.
In behalf Nv John Cutie say give him back
his niggers. In behalf Nv tho DimOcrisy
North, who arc out NV employment, give him
back his niggers. In behalf Nv his son, who
is runnn dray, give him hack his nggers.
In behalf Nv his daughters, runnin q sewing
machine, give him back his nggsrs. Make
things Normal agin. Like John the Baptist,
the Government shall hear the voice Nv one
howlin in the wilderness until all these is done.
PETROLEUM V. NAsBY,
Lait Paster Nv the Church Nv the Moo Dis
pensashun.
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-04-27
ABOUT HUSBANDS.
BY JOHN q. sAXR.

~ man H. in general het,er PLEASED when he has goo
nner unn his table than when his wife speaks 0reek"
I'M Johnson.
johnson was right. I don't agre TO all
The solemn dogmas of the rough oil stager;
But very much approve what one may call
The minor morals of the "ura Major"
johnson was right. Although some men adore
Wisdom In women and with learning cram her.
There isn't one In ten but thinks far more
OF his own grub than d his spouses grammar.
know II Is the greatest shame In life
But who among them, (saye, perhaps myselfO
Returning hungry home, but asks his wife
What beef--not books-she has upon the shelf.
Though Greek and Latin be the iady's boast,
They're little valued by her loving mate,
The kind of tongue that husbands relish most
Is modern, boiled, aud served upon plate.
Or n, n fair ambition may demand,
Some home-tnad verse the happy matron show him,
What mortal spouse but from her dainty hand
Would sooner ses pudding than poemi
Young ladies deep In love with Tom and Harry,
'Tis sad TO tell you such q tale a. this
But here's the moral Of it;-Do not marry;
Or marrying, take your lover az he ia
very man--wth something Of the brute,
(Cnless he prove sentimental noddy)
With passions strong, and appetite to boot
thirsty soul, and with hungry body!
A very man-not one Of natures clods-
With human hngs, whether saint or sinners
Endowed perhaps. with genius from the gods,
But apt to take his TEMPER from his dinner!
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-04-27

A B,RRIsrER PosED.-At the late Limerick
assizes. witness of the slower classes" was
cross examined by Mr.. Bennett. the Queen
counsel, when tho following dialogue took
place -
"Why do You hesitate to answer me? You
look at me rs IL was rogue"
"To be sure do" (Iaughter.)
"Upon your oath, do you think me n
roSuc?"
"'Pon my oath, I don't think you're an
honest man." (Ianghter.)
"You swear that, on your oath ~ .
81 do to be sure, and what else could ]
Think"
"Now, why do you think so?"
"Why. because you are doing your best to
make me perjure myself"
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-04-27

PROGRESS IN Civil RIcnrs BILL-Gcn. Til.
son, chisfof the Frecdmens Bureau in Geor.
gia, in consideration Of tho laws passed by the
Legislature of that State king tho freedmen
equal before the courts, hay given notice that
officers Of the Bureau will cease to exercise ju.
dicial functions. So also at Vicksburg, Gen.
Wood, Commissioner OF Freedmen, sends oil
cases coming before him to the local courts and
they have thus far proved themselves to DO
courts Of impartial justice. If they should
prove otherwise, infeither State, tho officers ol
the bureau are at hand to interpose. In Vir.
ginia, too, cases to which negroes are parties
now 60 to the regular courts, the Legislature
having abolished all distinctions on account OF
color.
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-04-27

WHAT THE SoUrH HAS Losr.-Mathew F.
Maury, cx.director Of the National 0bservato-
ry at Washington, ex.rebel, and present colo.
nzer in Mexico. is now in Paris, engaged in
pcttioning the rebel sympathizers in England
and France for the relief Of destitute Southern.
err. lie has written threo.column letter, in
which he estimates the loss Of the South By
the war at $1,000, ,000,0 (sevcn thousand
millions Of dolars) In this ho includes tho
value Of the slaves, war expenses, destruction
of private property and Federal taxation. This
is nearly $1,000 apiece for every white person
at the South. Maury estimates tho white
population at less than eight millions.
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-04-27
Administrative A Sale.

by virtue or license from the Court OF Probate, l
ID shall sell at public auction Friday the twenty
seventh day OF April next at two o'clock IN the alter
nOnu, one undivided quarter part OF the house ami
lot owned and occupied by the late Samuel Pcirson,
Esq, ut the time Of his dccease also two story dou
BILE house and harm and lot Line street, also two
house lots Foss street. house lot on Middle strcee
house lot on Oak street. about two acres OF tllage
land on the west side Of Guinea road occupied by
John H. Goodwn, one undivided hall Ola lot OF land
the east side of Guinea street In common with Geo.
H. Adams, adjoining land Of William Ayre, and q
small piece Of land the west side OF Guinea street
adjoining land Of James Andrews the aboyc proper
Is belonging to the estate OF Thomas vi. Pcirson de-
ceased.
sale To be ON the premises in DiddefOrd and to in
elulc my right 1T duwer.
lwIE. SARAH H. PEIRSUN, Administrative.
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-04-27

POSTMASTER REMovED.-We understand that
Thos. A. Smith, radical, has been removed
from the Post Office at Urbana, in this county.
position held by him for years, and that Q
Columbus Windsor. Esq has been appointed
to gil the place.-Maryiand Union.
Mr.. Smith has been an uncompromising
Unionist throughout the rebellion, and ha,
suffered much on account Of his loyalty to the
Government, as, during nearly every incursion
made by the rebels into Eredrick county, his
ONE was robbed, his property stolen, and hi,
hile only saved by flight. lie has several times
lbee, member OF the Legislator, of this State
baltimore American.
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-04-27
How TO RAISE MANY CucrNBERs.-N

How TO RAISE MANY CUCrNBERs.
take fresh seed OF lsst season. but always take
seed two or three years old lle who cannot
get old seed, should have his fresh seed dried
near warm stove during several weeks. Sone
gardeners, in order to obtain this end. carry
their pockets. Old cucumber eced will bear
earlier and moro fruit, Fresh seed will make
weak plants, and will be longer in geaminatins
You should also pinch of the end Of the main
shoot. This will strengthen the growth OF the
vine, the laterals will como out sooner, and
you will get moro fruit before frosts sets IN
again.
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-04-27

How TO DISPOSE or MurrLArED CURRENCY.
a great many persons are at q loss to know
how to dispose of ragged and mutilated cur.
rency that accumulatcs on their hands. II is
the easiest thing in tho world, and without
any expense. When you get three dollars
worth ON hand, put it in u small package, pin
paper band around it with your name, post
office address and amount; then put it in On
envelope and address it to the "Trasury of
the United States, Washington. d. g." In q
few days you will receive new currency in re.
turn. 1t goes and returns FREQ Of postage.
Commercial.
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-04-27
state of Name.

lORh, sS.
AZ a Court of County CoamrssOns. begun aud hsld at
IlfTsd, for and irithiR As County If YORK, on hs
stcosd Tps'ilg Of IprR, 4. ID. ls6hs
IN the foregoing petition, II Is considered by the
" Commissioners that the petitioners are responsi-
bic and that they ought 20 be heard touching the mat
ter set forth ia their petition and therefore order,
That the petitioners give notice to all persons andcor
pOrations Interested that the County Commissioners
will meet at the store Otis H. ROss Sons, In said
town OF Shaplegh. ON Tuesday, the nineteenth da,
"f June. A. n. l> at ten o'clock In the forenoon al
said day when they will proceed To- view the route set
forth Ina the petition and after such view.
at solne convenient place in the vicinity. will give
hearing 10 the parties AMI their witnesses S, notice
T., be ~ causing copies OF said petition and this order
f notice thereon to leo served upon each Oi the Town
Clerks OF said Shspleigh, Newiied AMI Acton. and
also By posting up copies Of the same IN three public
places m each of said towns. and publishing the
thr-. week. succcssveIy in the Union and Journal
newspaper printed In Biddeord, IN said county, the
first of said publications and each Or the other nOi
ce he least thirty days before the time OF said
meeting that all persons may then anil there he pres
snt and shew cause f any they have why tho prayer
or said petition should not Oe granted
Attest, &. u. LORD. CLERK.
Copy or the Petition and Order Of Court thereon.
1. Attest, q. u. LORD, CLERK.
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-04-27

~ The New York Sun proposes that the
sixty nine congressman, who have speeches "a
deliver on reconstruction. to be sent in body
to Fortress Monroc,and therc read their speech
&c to JEFF. Davis, the unhappy victim to be
allowed only half an hour for each meal, and
six hours sleep each day, until tho whole six.
ty.ninc speeches are delivered. Those who be.
lieve that changing is too good for JeG. Davis
would pity tho unhappy wretch who was thus
doomed to listen.
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-04-27

The readers Of newspapers have doubles no .
ticed the many advertisements genel1a, ,r.Ir. .%a
ating from the cities-oferinE 70 senu emu. y, A.
bic information for twenty nve cone nu
honest farmer saw On ADVERTISED reoe'p' W pt.
vent wells and cisterns from Iree1'ns. =
his money and received tins s an ansHel
..Takc In your we'll or cistern on cold nlgn"'
and keep it by the hre." X
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-04-27

yAt dinner party in New York on Tn,s-
day night, Mr.. Greeley stated that since tho
commencement Of tho . Tribune lSil' some
thing like Eve hundred daily newspapers nave
been started in the city Of New York, OF which
not more than five survive The lriognSNIs
started on a capital Of one thousand dollars,
and that. as Mr.. Greeley states. borrowed mon
~ Az To establish tho World the editor says.
and no one will doub.it cost two thousand
dollars
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-04-27

To bs Honorable. h, Court Of Co.aty comm,",So,n'u
for the c0Hniy Of York, ptrt 20 30 AoIf'n 90 ay; a;
~ sad Coanty Of York, on the se""a
IBrH. a. ID. lsf6s -. r,.,tv
YOUR petitioners humbly show tnat = nosa 4
L road, beginning at the store oi o'S ,,a ~ lam at
Sons, in the town OF Shaplelgh, across tno . lam ~ y,
Uar..Tavs,s voen uills t0 the rOai st 'ns Ioo' VI
Allen iIIilnsar Bs,leh Mills ia Newl'ed thence oy
nj III ~ The DaIch Mills ia Acton thence from
s iJ III d" p,int between the houses Of Samuel
cnuns and BENJAMIN Tsrnham in said town VI Acton,
w,,'il be OF srcat public convenience.
wherefore your petitioners pray that your lionors
would pgrceahly 10 Law in such cases made and pro.
vi,icd examine said route and lay out said County
road as in YOUR jud stnent you may deem expedent.
WILLIAM \. ilAM aud iOrty-two others.
March IN lSff.
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-04-27

v The Yale college faculty will open q
boarding house for students next term, tho oh.
rect being to furnish good and substantial fool
st cost prices. II will not be revival Of tho
"old commons" system Of board, at least for
the present; but, II successful, II will probably
come into general use. and be accepted by the
students for the sake Of le~cnipg their o1penf-
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-04-27

GoprY's L.pr's Book for May has for an
establishment, "The Pet Of tho Common" q
colored fashion plate Of Spring Styles, robe
dress from Stuart's New York, an evening
dress from Evans, Philalelphia, aud many
other matters Of interest " the ladies.
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-04-27
2netrp.
ALL'S WELL.

The day IL snlsl. Ere ! sink to sleep
My weary spirit seeks pIose iu Thine;
Father f,rgive my trespasses, and keep
This little life u mine.
With loving kiudness curtain Thou my bel
Aud cUcl in rest my burning pilgrim-feeti
Thy parlon be the pillow for my head
SO shall my sleep be sweet.
At peace with all the worl, dear Lord, and thee,
No fears my souls unwavering faith can shake !;
Ans weI whichever side the grave for Inc
The morning light may break
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-04-27

The LApY's FRIEND for May has an embel-
lishment, "The Return Of tho Swallows,' q
snowy fashion plate. several wood cuts. pat
terms Of ladies' dresses, crotchet, &C., and also
a varied collection VI stories. ....... .,.. ..
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-04-27

~ Beccher compares the radicals In Con-
gress to monkeys pelting the President from Q
cocoanut troe at sale distance. Tho reverend
gentleman IL losing his temper and has lees
GOOD sense than sumo monkeys. H...
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-04-27
Aiii ia the Province OF Canada.

which property they interd to put into this market
with USE WELL completed on either lot the share.
hoLlcrs may determine furnishing Engine. house and
ner-iek, a fifteen horse power Engine, Tubing. Pump.
a one hundred bbl. Tank, In fact everything to put
the Well IN readiness Tor pumping to the depth OF
FOUR HUNDRED feet, unless oil In paving quaint.
ties u snncr reached, hr the sum ofTEN TloVS'
AND DOLLARS in gold dividing 10 into one hundred
shares at hundred dollars per share ia gold, or
its equivalent in lawful money.
In orIer that the stockholders may 10 enabled TO
nc the real value of the property offered, Is
proposed by the undersigned that aComlutteo shalt
he chosen the most reliable men they hav" In Their
midst who shall proceed tO Canada AMI make tho,
rough examination of the property aud u not found
the best oil territory OF which Boutwell, can boast
AMI In the immediate vicinity Oi the best yielding
Wells then the money shalt not be paid over, but To
be refunded b. every subscriber. -
For mrthcr particulars inquire OF pr. THOMAS
| HALEY, SAMC EL STlMSUN, y. VI. MckhNNEn,
| HLidelnr,l ; or GEO, T. JORDAN, of the hrm of H.
n. Jorian, Dover, IL. II. H.ROSENBERGSC co;