Des Arc citizen., 1866-03-31
ARTEMUs WARD ON SHAKERS.

ARTENUS WARD ON SHAKERS.
 The Shakers is tho strangest religious sex I ever met. I'd hcarn tell of 'em and I'd seen 'em with their broad brim'd hats and long waistid coats; but I'd never cum into immeje contack with lem, and I'd sot 'em down as lackin intellek, as I'd never seen 'em to my Show--leastways if they cum they was know 'em.
 --But in the Spring of 1S--, l got swamped in the exterior of New York State, one dark and stormy night, when the winds Blue pity usly, and was forced to tie up with the Shakers.
 dim vister of the futer observed the gleams of tallar candle Tiein hornets nest to my off hoss's tail to kinder encourage him, I soon reached the place. knockt at the door, which it was opened unto me by tall, slick faced solum lookin individual, who turned out to be a Elder.
 Mr. Shakcr,' sed l. q You see before you Babe in tho Woods, so to speak, and he axes shelter of you
 "Yay," sed the Shaker, and he led tue way into the House, another Shaker bein sent to put my horses and waggin under kiver.
 A solum female, lookin somewhat like last years bean-pole stuck into a long meal bag, cum in and asked mo was athurst and did l hunger? To which urbanely answered ga few" She went orf, and l endeavored to open conversation with the old man.
 "Elder, spect 2 sed l.
 "Yay," he sed.
 Helth's good I reckon 2"
 Yay.''
 "What's the wages of a Elder when he on- derstands his biziness or do you devote your services gratuitous?' ?''
 Yay''
 "stormy night, sir. ?"
 "yaya
 If the storm continues, there'll be mess underfoot, hay?'
 { Yay." M
 its unpleasant when there's mess un- acrfoot 2''
 sYay." M
 eff may be so bold kind sir, what's the price of that pecoolo kind of weskit you wear, incloodin in trimmins ?"
 q Yay."
 pawsed Q mint, and then, thinkin' Ed he faseshus with him and see how that would go, I slapt him on the shoulder, burst into harty larf, and told him that as yayer he had no Twin ekal
 He jumped up as if bilin water had been spirited into his ears, groaned, rolled his eyes up lords the sealin, and said i" You're a man of sin ?'' He then walkt out of the room
 Jest then the female in the meal bag stuck her he'd into heroom, and statid that refresh- ments awaited the weary traveller, and said if it was vittels she ment the weary traveller was agreeable, and 1 follered her into the next room.
 sot down to the table. and the female in the meal bag porcd out some tea. She sed nothin, and for five minutes the only live thing in that room was an old wooden clock, which tickt in subdued and bashful manner in the corner. This dethly stiffness made me oneasy, and determined to talk to the female or bust. So ses I, marriage is agin your rule, bleeve. marm?"
 "Yay."
 The sexes liy strictly apart spect?"
 May"
 'sIts kinder singler,n sez I, putin on my most sweetest look and speakin in winnin voice, x that so fair a made as thou never got hitched to some likely feller.n IN, B.-She was upwards of forty, and homely as stump fence, but I thawt I'd tickil her
 s'I don't like men r she sed, very short-
 ''Wall, I dunno, sez I, l" they are a rayth- CT important part of the populashun. I don't scarcely see how we could git along without 'em.''
 GUS poor wimnin folks would git along a great deal better if there were no men," "You'l excoos me, marm, but I don't thinl that air would work It wouldn't be reg ler.n
 .srm afraid of men," she sed.
 "That's unnecessary, marm.--You ain't il no danger Dent you fret yourself on tha pint"
 Here we're shot out from the sin fpf world Here oil is peas. Here VIC air brothers snc