Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1866-05-23
THE CHRONICLE.
WARREN. O.
WEDNESDAY. MAY as. 1866.
KENIPTONIA.
MOB.
KEAIPTON GOES A FISHING.

j X EMRION CUES A tlSHlNG.
Mr.. EDIToR:-If there is one thing
like better than another it is fish. NJ
mouth even now waters at the mere re
collection of the many delicious morsel:
| have swallowed. When thinking of the
fnny tribe feel an inward yearning that
nothing less than about two pounds of
pike, bass or white fish will satisfy. I'm
agine then, if you can, what must have
been my emotions, when but few day;
days ago / heard upon our streets tha
Petrush had caught pike that weigh
ed twelve pounds. Searching after, and
finding something quieting to my nerves
I calmly reasoned the matter with my.
self: If Petrush can catch a pike
weighing twelve pounds why can'tI? Yes,
why not y There is no reason. Having
come to the above conclusion, deter
mined to go a fishing. To most people
the idea of going a fishing is associated
with all manner of pleasant things,
among which are ham sandwiches, some
thing stimulating, lots of fun, and any
amount of fish. With me it was differ
ent. Looking back along the whole
course of my eventfull life, and bringing
my powerful memory to bear upon the
subject, 1 failed to call to mind a single
fishing excursion wherein l bore a part
that was successful as far as I was con-
cerned. Though starting with as bril-
liant prospects as the best, it always
ended by my carrying the bait-my
hooks having become snagged, and my
pole broken in frantic endeavors to get
them loose. But that was-years ago
Since then l have almost suffered mar
tyrdom. As you are aware, arc a mar
ried man, and provide for seven children.
Further explanations are unnecessary
There are men in the community who
understand what have undergone. In
the carrying out of my resolution it be-
came necessary for me first, to secure the
services of q small boy, not choosing to
take one of my ewn for reasons best
known to myself. His duties were few,
and are easily explained. They were to
catch the minnows and carry the bottle
Having secured the boy, an intelligent
youth about fourteen years of age, pro-
cured quart bottle and caused to be put
into it something that would prevent Sc
rious consequences arising from long con-
tinued exposure in the neighborhood of
so much water. 1t was an expensive
Something" yielding the government,
when collected, revenue of two dollars
per gallon. next invested money in a
cane pole, hooks and line. Having dis
patched the small boy in quest of min
nows, and taking care to leave the bottle
at the office, l proceeded to my residence
for the purpsoe of donning an attire suit
able for the occasion. In doing this, it
became necessary for me to overhaul nu
merous clothes-closets in order to find
garments that would answer. Mrs. K.
having, after the manner and style of
mothers generally, cut up nearly every
thing / had thrown aside, for the purpose
Of manufacturing breeches for my little
ooys. l succeeded, however, in finding
what thought would do, but upon max
ng an appearance before Mrs. K, | was
net with an exclamation of horror
Mercy sakes, alive what do you mean, /
Kempton ?" "I'm going a fishing, my
lear said I. ''Kempton, you're drunk"
ny wife replied. There was a time in
he history of my married life when an /
like the above coming from
he lips of Mrs. K. would have met with |
prompt and merited rebuke. Now the
east notice take of what she says l find !
he better for me. Things have changed
somewhat Nevertheless, did not leave
he house without solemnly declaring |
hat her assertion that l was drunk, was
lot warranted by the facts. Congratulate
ng myself upon having gotten away
rom Mrs. K. thus easily, proceeded to
ny Office and slowed the bottle in one of
ny capacious pockets, first iplbibing a
title to test its quality and fully satisfy
myself it was what it was represented to
,e. 1t was delicious Tucking my
PANTS in my boots, and eleYating the
,ole upon my shoulder in truly fisher
manner, l started in search of
he small boy who had gone after min
lows, perfectly satisfied that whatever
lad been my previous experience in the
,iscatorial line, this day would see me
a result calculated to be
7ery disastrous to the fishes. Finding
he small boy, at once examined the
,ail containing the bait, and discovered
our minnows, soft shell crab and a
worm. 1 must confess was disappointed.
The small boy evidently had lied to me.
knew no better than where minnows
we're to be found. 1 said nothing, be-
ause if 1 did, 1 feared he would leave
ne in the lurch, having paid him in
.dvance. A sharp boy he was. After
linking of the matter few moments |
concluded there was bait enough. l
ouldn't very well carry more than three
r four fish weighing twelve pounds each.
1t this point took 'little something"
o keep up my spirits, and commanded
he small boy to proceed. With the bait
n one hand and the bottle in the other,
le led off, l following closely in the rear,
,eepng my eye constantly fixed on the
ottle, and continually cautioning him to
70 very careful of it. Our destination
Tas up the river. The route we took
vas across lots. We succeeded in reach
ng the fishing place without accident,
hough 1 was somewhat exhausted, and
nd found it necessary to stimulate lit
lie before commencing operations. I'm
er the spreading branches of friendly
rec, slowly unwound the line, took
linnow from the small boy, and impaled
upon the hook. Adjusting the cork
nd regulating the sinker l slowly ad-
anced to the river bank, and with
ourish cast my line into the stream
LAYING successfully made beginning, !
allied upon the small boy to produce the !
ottle. Removing the stopple, propos- :
d and drank the following toast: ''suc- !
ess to Kempton, and bad luck to the
She's" 1t was received with great ap-
lause, and led me shortly after to pro-
ose another: ''The American eagle, !
,ng may she wave" 1t was so well re-
eived that was in little while induc- =
d to give the following-my gallantry
aying got the better of my patriotism
The ladies, God bless 'em" Ny ideas
bout this time becoming somewhat con-
Ised, sat down on cold stone in Or S
er to arrange them in some kind of
lana I distincElu rannannhar the del