Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1866-03-21
DEAD DUCKS.

DEAU OuCho.
We seldom have occasion TO copy
articles from the Richmond Times, but
since Gen. Grant issued his order in
regard TO ''disloyap papers the Times,
has contained some very fine loyal
reading, The following is specimen:
The President, on Thursday last,
usurped one of the principles preroga-
tives Of the learned universities, to
the great delight of all respectable
peopl &. Ale conferred the degree Of
T0D. D." upon Forney Nottiiat he
declared that most unscrupulous cart
fui dodger" of the press ''Doctor of
Divinity" but he dubbed hIm q" Dead
Duck," and as Forney happens to be
( the first man ever thus solemnly pro-
claimed by President of the United
States to be defunct water fowl, the
epithet has made him famous. Since
the publication of his celebrated letter
recommending the deliberate intoxi-
cation of a certain theatrical "Star"
for the purpose Of extracting secrets
from which he hoped would blast the
honor Of defcnceess woman, he has
well merited the title Of I'D. D." as
the abbreviation Of "Dirty Dog; J" but
having been formally, upon solemn
anniversary occasion, invested with
the honorary degree Of "Dead Duck"
by that title he will hereafter be popu-
larly and historically known. We say
"historically," for history does some
times hang such characters in chains,
as all will remember who have read
of the Vicar of Bray.
The President having handed For
ney down TO posterty as a dead duck,
the question most difficult of solution
is to determine to what species of the
great family of web-footed waterfowls
/, does Forney belong. We think the
mystery one of very easy solution.
We entertain too profound a respect
for "canvass backs" "mallard," red
necks," "sprig tails" "black backs, p"
and teal and summer ducks, to class
such fshy, greedy bird as Forney
with any of the excellent species
4 Forney is a "dead didapper," and
our admiration Of tho Presidents s
skill as quick shot is intensified
when we recollect that it is next to
; impossible to kill this fshiest and
most artfnl of ducks with an ordinary
gun.
Ofall the family of "divcrs," the
"didappor' is the most deXterous at
lodging and turning somersaults in
the water He is a voracious and ex-
J cecdingly fshy little fellow and bears
the same relation to the great family
Of ducks rs Fofncy does to the editor
ial fraternity. lie is perpetually div
ing, and when he goes under no one
! can make the slightest calculation as
to the exact spot or moment when he
will come TO the surface. Having,
in our younger days, padded
hours in pursuit of, and expended
pounds Of ammunition upon this wary
= and active diver; we cannot too much
, commend that splendid shot from tho
portico of the White House which
"keeled' the political "didappcr' over.
AS this bird can never be killed when
, his eye is upon the sportsman, Forney,
the "didappcr," undoubtedly met his
! fate when he was looking intently at
/. Thad. Stevens, and did not think that
"the man at the other end of the
: avenue kept gun and shot 6shy
ducks upon national anniversaries.
Bat the divings and somcrsaults Of
Foney, the faithless, arc now at an
end. The blind rage and insane
2 ! abuse of the President which defiles
the pages of tho Chronicle andPrcSs
) remind us of the spasmodic huttcrings
of the "dying didapper' as he flap,
. and quivers ooavulsively upon the
surface, with heavy charge of Elk
ecutive duck shot in his brain.
Years hence the old men of Wash
ington will tell their grandchildren
how one bright 22d of Februrry morn
ing, call in the olded time," they saw
Andrew Johnson shoot n foul, 2 roedy
fishy little duck right in front of tn,
White House, and as an ornithilogica
hero Of the nursery, the "dead didap
per- will rank next 10 the slain "cocE
robin"
LOOKING FOR A BERTH.-Whic the