Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1866-05-15
For the Spectator.
20 wad some power the giftie gle US,
To sac ourseps as others sac us.n

Mr.. EDITOR We had hoped when the war
ended and the "dear boys got home again, we
should be able to enjoy ourselves as we used to
do, in practising the thousand and one little
arts that go to make up an attractive young
lady," not by any means with the desire Of
breaking the hearts Of the "dear creatures"
that had suffered so much for US, but only to
make them feel our power. Indeed, had it not
been for these bright thoughts of the future, we
should have been inconsolable for having to
trudge to church four mortal years without o
beau" This consummation Of our happiness
has been throughout the war our thoughts by
day and dreams by night. But, alas for human
hopes! The objects of our thoughts have re-
turned, changed in all but name, and scarcely
can We recognize in the mingled masses Of hair
dye, bear o., brass and impudence," that grunt
rs out good morning as we pass Or parade
themselves up and down street in what we sup
pose may be very military STYLE but We
know is very ungentlemanly swagger, the
darlings over whose fate we have spent SO many
anxious moments. Their appearance is bad
enough, but to hear them talk is beyond de-
scription awful Why only the other day We
heard one say he could just marry any lady Ec
wished" Do hand us the harts-horn some one.
it makes us sick to think Of it. One would
hear him talk. Poor thing hemust have been
suffering with the ''big head' when he said
that Mary Katherine says, she wouldn't be
surprised if he had been shocked with q
bomb during the war. That remark really
does sound like it. We would MT mind their
vanity so much, if they were not so per-
sonal sometimes. Why, poor old widow
OF eighty can't give her hair brush be-
fore she goes to church, but they cry out,
she's setting out again !" and woman can't
starch her little girl S neck to keep down the
hives, but they Cry out, Il will soon be on the
list u Where is Bill Arp, Tom Wiggins, or
somebody else, that could saya word to these
grown up Simple Simons? Couldn't some one
tell them in friendly way that they re green2
Or put bell on them, SO we could tell when
they were coming and get out of the way?--
And it no one else will undertake it, couldn't
their mothers and sisters do something, just for
the honor Of the family, to keep them at homer
Put them to cutting carpet rags, or mndlng the
pigs out OF the garden, and if that will not do,
| buy them copy Of Mother Goose and a Jews
| harp, anything to keep them at home. But
don't break off their old habits too suddenly, by
all means, let them have a looking glass at first,
and two OF three dozens neck-ties of different
styles and patterns This viii be very enter
tanning to them, and maybe it will not be neces-
sary to buy Jewsharp for while. This course
may reclaim some, but there are two classes we
pity from the bottom of our hearts. The poor
unfortunate men that have been told they We're
good-looEing and the widowers Oh dear Edi-
| tor, couldn't you get some Of the widowers into
| the Lunatic Asyluml We are afraid the cows
will eat them, and then we will have nothing to
! laugh at NANCY SHEFFEY,
| KIZZIE LONG,
MARY ANN TERRILL