North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1866-05-02
VOL. 5 NO. 38
ODDS AND ENDS.

A model 6.h-a seal-in-wax.
The voice of winter-Snow-balling.
Water fluid once used as a drink
The Board of Trade--Thc shop-board.
The rule at Religious parties-no cards.
A tea never indulged in by gossips--
Charity.
In what color should secret be kept?
Inuiolet. .'.s'
How to get good servant-D Do the
work yourself -f
To buy coal cheap pay to high
price for it. es
Tongue-A little horse which is contiu.
ually running away.
When man uses tobacco there is some
vir-chew in it.
When is tired man like thiefi When
he needs a-resting.
The first and greatest thing in rhetoric
is to have something to say.
Is not the National House of Represen--
tatives the modern Babble-on.
To call fever and ague "no great shakes"
is contradiction of terms.
When is an undertaken like one of his
own jobs When he's coughn'.
When man has been kicked it is pre-
sumed that the kicker has the V-toe pow
er.
''Deal gently with the (h)crring," as
the Coekney ishdealer said to a customer.
An exchange suggests as an amusement
to young ladies on wet afternoons to knit
their eyebrows. a '-'
What would this world be without wo-
man A perfect blank-like sheet of pa
per, not even ruled.
How to prevent beer from turning sour
Always leave the key in the tap, and
don't lock the cellar. -
The remains of bachelor who "burst
into tears at reading description OF mar
ned life, has been found.
Why do gipsies wear scarlet cloaks? In
order to make an outward show that they
are deeply read.
Where is paper money first mention d
in the bible When the dove brought the
green-back to Noah. t"
Mrs. Jones asks, if the bills before Con-
gress are not counterfeit, why there should
be so much difficulty in passing them.
Why is young lady just from boarding
school like building committee Because
she is ready to receive proposals.
Old anglers say that if you wish to catch
a fine fish, you must throw your bait right
at him. Young ladies may take notice.
81 think our church will last a good
many years yet, said waggish deacon to
his minister 81 see the seepers are
very sound" e-.- q. .. -....t.
1t is great comfort to man with but Ia
dollar in his pocket to know that if he can
not invest in fve-twenties he can in twenty
fves. ..... .. .....,s.. .-.-
"Out of sight, out of mind" We don't
sec it. We dropped our pocketbook the
other day and it haln't beer out of our
mind since,
If you want to know how you stand with
any person, get him angry; you never
know what is at the; bottom cof stream
till it is stirred up. .
WHAT'S the difference between wealthy
topper and skillful miner One turns his.
gold into quarts and the other turns his
quartz into gold.
An old maid is more liberal than a,
young one. The latter may always be
willing to lend you hand, the former will
lend you one, and thank you too.
so many men, so many minds" Not
always the case. A gentleman asked
crowd to imbibe the other day. They were
all of one mind and partook.
A friend says he's either head and ears
in love, or else he's got the colic-he cant
tell which, as he is not certain which he,
tasted last, kisses or watermelons.
The reason women so seldom stammer-
is because they talk so fast-a stammer has
got no chance to get in. People stutter
because they hesitate. But who ever knew
woman to hesitate about anything
A young lady explained to one Of our
jours, tle other day the distinction between
printing and publishing, and at the eonclu-
sion of her remarks, BY, way Of illustration,
she said: "You may print a kiss on my
cheek, but you must not publish it."
NEGRO PROCESSION AT NORFOLK
Ryor AND Loss OF LIFE..--The negroes of
Norfalk, Va, turned out in large procession.
yesterday, in honour ofthe passage of the
Civil Rights bill. While the procession