Weekly Trinity journal., 1866-05-12
Teutonic Anguish.

\ few years since the country remembers that
1 a steamer, the Lady Elgin, was lost the trip
! from Chicago TO Milwaukee, and about three
hundred persons on board were drowned. The
first report was that all had perishei hut several
ESCAPED and returned to their homes after an
absence of from one to three days. There lived
at Milwaukee at that time burly German named
Triheister Dotswinger. who rejoiced in three
cornered lager beer saloon an eight square vrow
ard oval faced cherub Of eighteen summers, boy
BY nature, Schneider Dotswinger by name, and
graceful as young bologna sausage in all its
/ pristine bloom.
Schneider coayed his two derivatives to let
him 60 on the i'll fated steamer News came
that she was lost. The anguish-stricken Teuton
| in paroxysm of grief called on US in the cdi-
toral rooms 10 enquire about his boy. We told
him as we informed that all were lost, and
of course his boy was goner. He seated him-
self on a pile of books end thus held forth
"Mein Gott--mein Gott, Mr.. Bumroy tits al
ways shust so as it never wash since it wash so,
and knows EN- have so much droobles dis
day as never wash since l make start init mine
lager peer grocery. 1t is shust so all der time.
and feels so pad all dorn here nit mine pelly !!
Let US go and dake some lager peer drink, and
dells you pont Schneider what shust now lost me
in ter Lady Helshin y
We accompanied the grief-stricken one to
saloon where lager was held forth, and over
glass of beverage he thus continued.
''Now Mr. Bumroy mine heart be aus ka
spielt (playcd outl. | make so mooch loves yer
dat Schneider yot no man never makes for his
poy. Use had so much trooble nit him doc.
Ven he vos un fine leedle pig he had SO much
worms ash no poy never had, and it dakes more
as zwci barrels of goot lager peer to get la. poy
out of de worms. Take some more peer, Ir. Bum
ROY
Und den mine friend, he makes take ter mees
els, and goomes out all over in un solid eetle
shpots shust like papy vot is SO freckled as
never wash, und it cost me more doc tollers TO
get Schneider away from dem shpots. Upd
makes play nit him on der vloor und have such
fun shpanking him as never wash, und zen he
makes much grow, und goes out ter door ven he
wants too. shust like pody, so it does his poor
ladders heart mooch goot to watch him
you never saw! Tate some more peer, Mr. Bum
rov'
Und den he make grow shust like notinks.
Und he gets SO pig in his leedle sthumack like
his fadder ! Und shust Ike his mudder doo He
vas shust such n boy as never wash. Und he
makes himself grow big, and he drinks so much
lager peer as his fadder und is so much help in
mine grocery. He draws peer so goot as does,
und | sits all ter dime seeing Schneider draw
peer, und smokes my bpc to shleep all ter vles
Und now veels so pad down here Take
more peer, Nynheer Bumroy'
Und now dat Schneider vos gond make him.
self drown On der Lady Heshin He vosh so
goot poy rs never wash, und must make myself
get un oddcr little Schneider shust like him. !
dell you Mynhcer Bumroy never make myself
veel so pad since dat poy vos nothink !! +"
Just then the door opened and in came Schneid-
living witness fresh from the disaster brought
up by Dennison on the cars.
Oh Mein Gott, there comes dat Schneider -
jumping up. "Oh Schneider, you tamm rascal,
kiss your fadder? Coon TO your poor ladders
arms ?" They embrace Now take some
lager peer nit your fadder. Go kiss your mud
der, you tamm rascal Here kiss your faddcr
yon tamm rascal vot browns der Lady HelShin
und you tamm rascal, ven next you goes nit der
Lady Helshin to ride, you SHAY here und sell
lager peer, and let your poor fadder go have
funs, rot by tamm sight Oh, Nen Gott how
l makes love dat poy I'd RAIDER ,ind fJty tot
lars in gold as drown him nit ter steamboat !"