The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1866-08-29
Brick pomroy and his sweeths

man that can't laugh heartily Is % vl."g, says
somebody If there be any one who has made .aef
fectual attempts to prove by the above as ao is Ho-
villain, let him read the following by Brick F1ma.
roy If there is in him the ninitesimai position Of aR
embryo laugh, it will be brought to the sur.acs
My MILK MAID NGRANDA.-I don't mean chat my
milk made Miranda, for 1 was not a mkist-- "en5
not to market with the lactea crop ul any Ualer
business than that was in. But loved 'uilE maI-t
Miranda by cognomen and she the qntcEos. milk
st that ever squatted garterholders under L1s dHp
ping caves of patient bovine on day os ram ans
such She was handsome Her mother was a 1sat-
some cuss and her father blessing lu disguise
with mien like an angel and hair colored like New
Jersey barn.
Miranda lived in New England Her pa.eraaI pop
engineered a country store, kept blooded geese, SOLD
potatoes by the pound, kept cheese-rnd5 tcs uttrap
ba blackened pins and sold them for hsahoals i1r-
nished steam for puritan prayer meeting, cultivated
Il duck pond and taught his nose to blush on apPa
brandy. TED take tae screws eHd Oh t
coffin and sch them for moueF 20 put ON .1e a19.et
contribution plate, and he never missed Attending
communion IN order to gee free lunch as tae expense
0i-Hcvtg mind who
Dlt Miranda aau'J like him SHE ml'SeI che COWS
tyni train#l rHs mills ( used to belp her We were
<h uays--that Nas q boy then. i was green 1W'
pu.2. I'ltta AllaH -.s H.s tatE >ta was l1a5 tgi
this world. She was la5 as Gogta pick She bad g
neck like bottle Ui wooster sauce. She wHsslm iNg
the sary Ola country minister OF the wardrobe "s
. a
in her lap? Yoa bet. And didn't she sling milk iHiO
her little twelve quart tin pail while used to stand
and hold the dropping backbone continuation OF that
bovine COW, lest soiled the tinted cheek OF my milk
maid Miranda
We loved. How could we help it? Her mother
was opposed to the match. She thought Miranda
wurnt good enough for me had the poverty. 1t
struck in before struck out Being poor, was good,
hence the objection. SO courted syruptasttagIy
and met in the barnyard the usual way, through the
] l rl.t 4 ,~ft',i ~ uIri
Her mother used to catch al IT, She enticed Mi
randa into bedrooms cellars, pantrys and Closets
and there confined her before her time came for going
out to milk.
/ But we often crcumvented the aged matgon. We
changed clothes with the hired man, and went in on
our nerve Miranda loved. Brick loved. But
had hard times of it. Affection gurges as it runs
Our affection ran not smoothly The darned thing
won't smooth. Selah
We used to wander after beechnuts and the Old
lady was there We sailed forth to gather shells Of
ocean as we called hens eggs in the haymow, and
behold the old lady there. We went forth hand
in hand like the ghost of John Brown and that other
man in search of lovp-lit bower and behold there
appeared the aged who first knew Miranda and bid u5
return She was an agile mother. She had the
largest agility we ever saw We sat under the VIII
dow to compare tales otoye, and Miranda mother
inflicted showerbaths upon US the while. we attend
cd funerals to have fun, but beh0ld she was there,
and our fun came not to pass. 8s times rode the
family horse past the window at stated times when
Miranda was to be there, and the voice OF my milk
maids maternal always saying " Let's see how
fast you dare ridel' She locked up the barndoor to
keep us from entering therein She locked up ths
paror to keep us from entering there. She stuck
sticks over tie kitchendoor latch To keep us out IRON
there She locked Miranda up in a cellar to heep u5
from entering there. sad in my puny wrath, dog
gone that ancient female | had but hand to oY9
Miranda with-the other needed to battle the
second volume of Miranda's authorship with. My
love sank. It lowered. 1t prostratcd. / went to
Canada. I remained in the embrace Of the Queen as
'twere. After time the old lady, after delightful
trip of nine weeks Duration arrived at the graveyard
thanks to a doctor, whose doctoring ever recon-.
mended in such cases The little poSyrOsy, the holly
hawk and the asparagus bloOmed over the maternal
deryative of my milk maid and made me happy. l
shouted in unison with merry roosters and the vernal
chickens, and sought her loved. Twelve years had
gone and done it. But Miranda stuck it out. No
one could look upon her mn and survive.
was the exception. Miranda's father had passed
in his checks. He grew tired Of life, and after fit
of family happiness took the poison the rats refused,
and went joyfuly from the arms Of Mranda5 maternal
mother to death and it results, as 'twere.
Miranda had the things she inherited such geese,
the little store the cheese rinds the warbiug ducks
and all sch Of the estate and threw open the shutters
of her heart. | popped in. The front room thereof
was vacant. l slung in my traps, crawed in at the
window, took possession, sang song Of JOY, kissed
my milk maid on her dinner catcher sold my disaP-
pointmeDt for yellow neck tie and became an alter
ed man full of joy where sorrow had so lately nestled
We courted We wedIocked We sold the old home
stead. We went B--o-s TIM with the TIM up
your nose) and went in for style.
There was a party. Miranda fixed up for it, She
bought cows worth of rizzed hair, sleeps worth
Of lace for her garters hogs worth Of night bushiug
seriousness and the earnings Of the geese bses chick
ems and ducks her father had fer years and went to
the ball But she was gay Hardly knew her She
looked large Such bust Such eolors. Slch
teeth! Such hair! sub complexion! Such paIpi-
tators Such poached front hair and such scrambled
back hair! She was raised in Weathersdeld, New
England and was weaned on onions | knew her by
her gentle breath But for this would have lost her
We wore out the party All fashionable people
stay to extugu5h thelamps. Style We went home
There was cry of fire. Our house was in flames.
Miranda had gone to her retirary while was writing
Il description of the party. heard the alarm.
rushed into our bed room. found something slim
and docIe in the bed. houghtJ was the bolster got
the wrong way | wanted to act in fireman style so
threw mirror out Of the window to let the crowd
down stairs know all safe above then ran down
with the bolster ia nv arms. This long slim bolster
was Miranda, ms milk maid She had decreased. At
ected by fear. sat her down under the parlOT win
dow in rose bush that the crowd might not sec the
charms her down cast modesty &c, failed to con-
ceal.
Then rar back to get her things spread in fve
chairs at the foot Of the bed aud lying in circles on
the floor. got them. Nine armsful when had
them all. The home in ruins, and Miranda
burned to death. | felt bad. Who could help r.
Pardon my weakness, but wept. But vas consoed.
Though gone she with me still. had all that
made her lovely. had her cnrls-her frizze, her
rats her waterfall had her spiral palpitaors-her
birds nest-her yeaIs! had set Of teeth, stee.
compress for the ankles. have set al things in their
order-I have them hung on wires-I shall pour a iit
tie melted girl (easy be had this hot weather. into
the tzngs, and have udder Miranda. How lucky
TO save 30 much of her
Ever OF theely,
"BarCE' POWERoT,
\ VERY CoURrABLE WDow.-Some hundred years
ago we find sir John Salisbury, OF LIeweuny Hall,