Maryland free press., 1866-05-17

iaieiy ihuecu, hf. fSSiHs DuG my
terms are five dollars visit for frequent
visits, and where call but once week or
so, it is ten dollars visit"
This was hard morsel to digest but
Sam swallowed it in silence. II moreover
suggested some uncomfortable mathemati-
cal problems, which Sam began to calcu-
late in his head, and try to work out. A
visit every day, at five dollars visit,
would amount to thirty-fve dollars week
and about hundred and forty dollars a
month. And visit once q week, at ten
dollars visit, would run up to hundred
dollars in two months and half. And
then he thought to himself:
"Who knows but there may be another
two months and a half after that, and
sweep away another hundred dollars?"
Sam had a great horror of doctors bills
of Indefinite length, and after thinking
the matter over, and getting up to go, he
said
"Wal, I don't see as you and can trade
your farms is higher than can Afford
But I'll tell you what I'll do with ye; if
you'll undertake to cure her by the job,
Iii give you seventy-fve dollars as soon
as the work is done; and if you don't cure
her, you shan't charge me nothin"
Doctor Skulapius, putting on his full
measure Of dignity replied
'1never vary from my regular terms,
and cannot think of such proposition for
moment. And besides, Mr. Wiggins,
you know told you told you [ couldn't
insure cure in all cases, as | do some
times lose patient, and in such case
| could not afford to give my services for
nothing"
Sam took up his hat and approached the
door, but turning round once more, he
said
"Wall, Doctor, I'll make you one more
offer. You undertake the thing by the
job, and I'll give you fifty dollars, kill or
cure; and that's the best cent | can do for
you, anyhow"
This last proposition was made with
very decided air, and Doctor Skulapius
understood euman nature we'll enough to
perceive that if he did not close with the
offer, he would lose the job altogether
lie was not the man to let fifty dollar job
slip through his fingers when he had the
power to hold on to it, So he said
"Well, Mr.. Wiggins, though it is a.
gainst my rule ever to vary from my terms
and Inever do to anybody else, yet have
such very great regard for you and your
family, that I will break over my lule
this time, and accept your offer. And I'll
come over this afternoon and see what can
be done for Mrs. Virgins"
Accordingly Doctor Skulapius was forth
with installed the regular physician to
Mrs. Wiggins, to the great modification
of poor old Doctor Cammermile. Doctor
Skulapius followed up his regular visits
occasionally, whenever he happened to
pass that way, and though he knew moth
ing of the nature of the disease, or of any
suitable and proper mode of treatment,
still it is no more than simple justice to
say, that he exerted his best skill and tai
ents not to give her anything that would
hurt her. So Mrs. Wiggins was enabled
to linger along for about three months, and
then she died and was buried.
Doctor Skulapius waited fortnight, for
he was too well bred gentleman to pre-
sent a bill under such circumstances in a
hurry, so he waited full fortnight, and
then he called on Mr. Virgins for that lit
tie matter of fifty dollars.
"All right, Doctor" said Sam, GIVE
got the money in my pocket book. A
bargains bargain; and if you've fulfilled
your part of it, I'll fulfil mine. But may
as we'll write receipt, for I always like
to have business done up square, SO that
there can't be no after-clap about it." So
Sam sat down and wrote receipt, and
handed it to the Doctor to sign. The DIR.
took it and read as follows:
"March 10,--, Received of Sam
Wiggins fifty dollars in full for killing his
wife"
"But Mr.. Virgins do you mean to in
suit me?" said the Doctor.
"By no MEANS" said Sam; "what's the
matter Doctor? is not the receipt right?'
"Why, I didn't kill your wife, Mr..
Wiggins."
"You didn't kill herr" said Sam; ''Wall
Doctor, you didn't cure her, did YET
"No, of course not" said the Doctor,
cher time was come, and the best treat
ment in the world couldn't save her."
"Wall, then that ends that story" said
Sam; ga bargains a bargain; you was to
take my wife in hand by the job, and I