davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21
A Calculating Heroine.

PRoF. HUTcHIEs, the world-remowned
" Lightning Calculator" has been giving ex-
hibitions in Chicago. On recent occasion,
he INDUCED his audience with the following
diverting reminiscenc which dates from the
classic village of Oxford, in our own State
There was a certain young lady at Oxford
Seminary, Ohio, who was a fast calculator
He was at the hotel, cries of fire awakened
him; he rushed down stairs Gray-haired
old man, with tears running down his fIr-
rowed cheeks-he had but one-says, 1.-TWO
hundred gals burnt to lamp black" He
reaches the spot. The young lady is in the
fifth story asleep Needless female friend
has run away without putting her up to the
state Of affairs She hears noise. Es knat-
terte es knisterte, es krallerte. Can it be an
avalanche? No; not even a ships launch.
Is it the waves of ocean? No; too far in
land No. II is fire. Here the Professor,
getting excited, rolled up his coat sleeves
So does G.. F. Train. So would Demosthe-
mes, if he had had cOat) She springs from
her couch. She kneels and has a moment
of silent calculation. She tears her sheets and
blankets into strips. Luckily, it was winter
" Oh heavens, it is not long enoughP 'Oh
nv WATERFALL" She secures these articles
to the window. She slips down. Brave,
brave grill! A stalwart man { the Profess
orr seizes her in her arms, and bears her
from the spot. Frantic applause Of the au-
diencel
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21

point of the cow-k killer had gone under
them, and, though broken by the shock,
had raised them suaicisntlyto keep them
from under the wheels, while the engine
dashed them right and left into the gorge.
The rebels seeing US stop, started in
pursuit, but as we found nothing serious
to impede our further progress, and, as
in their case, @ distance lent enchant-
ment to the view, we were off again in
high spirits, andrwithout further adven-
ture worth recOunting arrived safely at
our destination.
Poor Joe, after being shot at so often
as to have acquired a sovereign contempt
for rebel bullets, was shot dead, about
year ago, while running a government
engine near Chattanooga.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21
Our Story GeIIer.
TlB WROIG SIDE or TIIE CURVE.
AN Ex- ENGINEERS s STORY.

]
AMONG the many incidents that dur
ing the late rebellion were connected
with that great national artery, the Bal
timore and Ohio Railway, is one that
will relate
In the fall of 1861, having been de-
tained by business in the town of Cum.
berland, Nd, l was at last about tc
start for Wheeling, when learned by a
dispatch that the road was occupied be-
low Harper's Ferry by force of rebels.
and therefore no train would pass.
This proved to be true in reference to
ordinary trains, but a Especial" " with
which was the Hon. Mr.. Pierpont, and a
other notabilities, had passed before the
rebels cut the track, and was therefore
approaching. On inquiry, I found that
the engineer of the coming train had
been one of my old chums ere 1 had dis
carded engine-driviug for more profit
able business. My friend Joe NJ
was cool, bold, skillful engineer, and as
generous as reckless of danger
As I expected. no sooner saw him
and stated my wish to go up the road,
than he swore that, special or no special,
I should ride with him, if for nothing
but to see the fast time his engine
"Wildfre would make.
As we dashed rapidly along and were
passing through Black Oak Bottom, a
couple of i'll looking fellows in citizens
dress fred at the engineer, but doing no
damage; merely provoked a laugh of de-
rision from him for their want of marks
manship. On arriving at Oakland, Md,
we were disagreeably surprised by re-
ceiviDg a telegram informing US that
party of rebels were making extraordinary
haste to reach the railway at a point
many miles ahead of us. Also, they
seem to know who the special train con-
tanned and would therefore use all en-
deavors to capture or kill US.
There was but one car behind the
engine, and in it was briefly discussed
the question of go. or stay, while Joe was
having the tender re-flled with wood
and water. .. ... E.a..-
Mr.. Pierpont's business was too urgent
to admit of any possible delay two or
three others concluded to risk the trap,
and well, if it's not too egotistical to
say sol had run risks on railways too
often to back out because there was
danger ahead, while the rest concluded
to stay and trust to luck Tor the oppor-
tunity of getting away.
Just as we we're about to start, the
fireman making a misstep on the "run-
hing board" fell and struck the ground
With such force as to break his arm
Joe hurriedIy picked up the poor fellow,
1ut time was precious just then, so leav
ng him in care of the gentlemen who
lad accompanied US, he started directly
OWard me, asking me to come and " run =
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21

PUNISHMENT FOR JEFF. DAvIs-The New
York Sun suggests a new punishment for
Davis. 1t proposes that the sixty-nine Con-
gressmen who are to make speeches on the
question of reconstruction shall read their
speeches to JEFF. Davis, in his cell at Fortress
Monroe, allowing the victim no intermission
except half an hour for each meal, and six
hours daily for sleep. until the whole sixty
nine speeches shall have been delivered. This
plan would give the sixty-nine the necessary
relief, it would satisfy the most inveterate
hater of Davis-even those who have con-
tended that hanging is too good for him."
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21

THE Gazette. in publishing Congression-
al debale, in which Mr. Raymond, of New
York, took part, interpolates in parenthesis,
after his name (Dem), VIII ls it places after
the name of Thaddeus Stevens. (Union)- y
This we suppose 10 be a way contemporary
has of asserting that Mr.. Raymond is a Dem
ocrat. As his views are identical with those
of the President, we may conclude that in
the estimation of the Gazette, Mr.. johnson
is Tylerized. If the Democrats are as bad
as the Gazette says they are, and all persons
who refuse to follow the lead of Sumner and
Stevens are Democrats, the country is in q
desperate cJndirion.-C Commercial
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21

On! she was maid of a laughing eye,
And she lived in. a garret cold and high,
And he was a threadbare whiskered beau,
And he lived in a cellar damp and low.
But the rosy boy of the cherub wing,
Hath many a shaft for his slender string,
And the youth below and the maid above
Were touched with the flaming darts of love.
And she would wake from her troubled sleep
Ger his tender biIletdoux to weep;
Or stand like a statue old and fair,
And gaze on lock ofhis bright red hair.
And he who was late so tall and proud,
With his step so firm and his laugh so loud,
His beard grew long and his face grew thin,
And be pined in solitude over his gin.
But one soft night in the month Of June,
As she lay in the light of n cIoudless moon,
A voice came floating soft and clear,
To the startled maiden's listening ear.
o then from her creaking couch she sprung
And ll0r tangled tresses back she flung;
She looked from the window far below,
And he stood beneath-her Hhiskered beau!
She did not start with foolish frown,
But packed her trunk and scampered down,
And there was her lover tall and true,
In his thrcadbare coat of its brightest blue.
The star that rose in the evening shade,
Looded sadly down on a weeping maid;
The sun that came in his morning pride,
Shed golden light on a laughing bride
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21

The WARD FAMILY-Artcmas says, as
for the Wards, they air known all the world
over, and every big city in the blessed union
has all its little divisions called after them. In
New York and Boston there is the tust Ward
and the second Ward, and so on to the one
hundredLh Ward, and in Paris and London,
and everywhere, we are honored with. the
same remembranses. I guess that's sum
honor. And even down south, its more than
probable, they've some Wards in their small
villages; and we are 50, popular that even the
worbIn apartments in the penitentiaries are
named in the same way" -rg f
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21

DVERTIsE in the URBANA UNION ifyou wish
q TO secure the trade ofcountry Deaters-
DY Advertising in the UNION you may secure New
ID Customers
lash Customers read the Advertisements in the
y UNION.
DRIVE your Business by Advertising in the UR-
~ BANA UNION.
EVERYBODY Reads the UNION. advertise in it.
FARMERS Take the UNION and Read the AdTer-
Il tisements-
rRoCERIEs may be Sold by Advertising in the
VI UNION.
HOUSES may be Sold by Advertising in the
IL UNION.
IRON, Tin and Copperware may be Sold BY Adver-
i tising In the UNION.
TEWELRY could be Sold BY Advertising in the UR-
d BANA UNION.
HABBAGF. Krout and Corn Meal ought to be Ad-
n vertised In the UNION.
7 UBEBER might be Sold by 1Adyertisingin the UN-
u ION ~ - - @
MONEY viii be made by Advertising in the UR.
VI BANA UNION.
NOTICES Of Various Kinds win be inserted in
" the UNION.
Old Goods can be Sold by Advertising in the
" UNION.
DURCHAsERs always Read the Advertisements in
i the UNION.
OUEEEswARE and Crookery could be Sold by
" Advertising in the UNI0N.
pFLEs. Revolvers, &C, could be sold by Adver-
II tising in the UNION.
CT0VEs. Shoes. Sugar and Soap should be Ad-
y vertised in the UNION,
UNIVERSAL Yankee Notions can be Advertised
U in the UNION
VALUABLE Property may be Bought, Sold or Ez-
] changed, by Advertising in the-UNION.
WHENEVER you want to "sel Out Advertise in
W the UNION.
VACTLY what you Want can be obtained by Ad-
a vertising in the UNION.
YOUNG Men might get Situations by Advertising
in the UNION.
TEALOUsLY Advertiser your business in the UNION
u 1t win pay.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21
Sayings Of Josh BillingL

D
Il is. highly important that when a man
makes up his mind to becum raskil, that he
would examine himself closely, and see il
ne amt constituted for darn phoel, -
l argu in this way; II man is right, be
cant be tn radical II heis Fong, he Kant be
tn Constructive. ra ft.rr .s-,n 81 r-e
eyes.
Tell thetruth and shame the devil" /
nose lots Of poepul who can shame the devil
easy enuf, but tothur thing bothers EN-.
Itiz very delikate job tn forgive a man
without lowering him in his own estimssh-
IN, and yures too. - ..-
Az a genral thing, when woman wares
the briches, she has rite tew EN-.
n It is admitted now by everybody that the
man who can git fat on berlony sassengers,
has got an orful site Of dorg in him.
Wummuns influence is as powerful as a
magnut- espeshully when she wants emmy
thing
: Sdkin up yure noze don't prove emmy
thing, for soap biler, when he IL ava from
hiz hum, smells ennything, even karin.
No wummun luvs tn get beat, but it IS
better to be bored with an inch orger than q
gimlet.. + .i.-.I- .r.t 8 ~ sz.az..
I" Be sure you are rite, then go ahead -
but in case yu don't, then go ahed emmy wa.
Wimmin will sometimes confess their SINS
but never new one, tn, confess her fanlts
Don't mistake arrogance for wisdom !;
menny peepul think they are wise, when
they are only winda.
It IL sed that a hoss don't know his
strength" and don't rally suppose a skunk
does nutber.
Men amt apt tu kicked out OV gud sirsiety
for being rich.
The road to ruin is always kept in good
repair, and the tave1ns pay the expenses ov
it.
If man begins life by being fust Lieu
tenant in his familee, he need nevur look for
promoshun.
The only profit there is in keepin more
than one purp, is what you can make on the
board.
Young man study Difference, it is the best
curd in the pack.
Honesty IL the poor mans pork and the
rich mans pudding.
There IL luxury in sometimes feelia lone
some. l $3.50
There IL only one advantage, that kan
see, in goin to the devil, and that IL the road
is broad and aizy and you are certain and ded
sure to git there if you'll keep on the track.
Lastly-Tm violently opposed to ardent spir-
its as bivrage, but for manuiaklu.in pur-
poses think leetle oy it tastes good.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21

KNOW an American author who was once
bored for long time by female acquaint-
ance for sympathy and tender appreciation
of her ideas Of spiritual duty. Mr.. Plutarch,
she would say, is there more serene and
sublime satisfaction in life than that OF discoV-
ering your spiritual duty and then conscienti-
ously performing it? Have you rot often,
in your own soul, felt this tranquil bliss 2"--
The author bore this for a time but human
patience has its limits. mo" he answered
at last, 81 hate to do my spiritual duty. If
knew what tits, won't do it. But mad
am, there is one thing which does gil me
with a serene and sublime satisfaction, and
reconciles me to the hollowness of a.
Pray, pray, what is it ?" she asked eagerly.
4" Madam, it is pigs nose boiled with cab
bagel" was his quaint answSr. He was new
er forgiyen.-Bayard Taylor.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21
a LOVE SONG.

LOVE me, love me, for I'm yearning,
Praying morning, noon, and night
Praying night and noon, and morning,
For a love my life to light
Praying for love all high,
For love that will not die.
Love me, love me, and I'll bless thee,
For my heart is very sad;
Only tell me that you love me,
Speak and make this lone heart glad;
Make it glad, and fond, and free,
Loving all for love of Nes.
Fame, and wealth, and power, and glory
al I'd willingly resign;
Dost thou wonder at the story?
Yet I'd give this life Of mine
For one hour of perfect love,
Such as dwells in heaven above.
Oh, my heart for love is ycarning,
do fondly, fondly love;
Oh, my soul, my soul is burning
With Iove-fre from above:
Could you, dearest, ever love me,
Ever, as my heart loves thee,
Eerih would be heaven to me.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21

A HOTEL SToRT.-At the - hotel, in
Cairo, they are noted for dispatch in filing
orders for meals. If warm dinuer is order
ed, some time is taken to cook it. Not long
since stopped there, and sat down at table
with an elderly gentleman, who ordered a
squirrel. I waited some time for my dinner,
but was almost through, and the old gentle
man was still waiting for his squirrel. But
his patience was at last exhausted, and he
beo5oned the steward to him, and said
Has that man got good gun 2"
"What man p asked the steward. -s
The man that's gone to shoot the squirrel
I ordered, said the old gentleman with great
gravity.
Just then I checked, and did not hear the
answer, but saw him disappear,
and in a few seconds the old gentleman was
devouring his squirrel with apparent relish.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21

HsroRtcAL-Wby did John Huss die z
more agreeable death than Charles KIP Be-
cause hot steak is better thal a cold chop.
Coon audiences fOs an auctioneer--buy
ISLANDERS.
THE Boston Journal learns that ex-Presff-
dent Franklin Pierce was baptised aud con-
frmed in ST. Paurs Episcopal Church in Con.
cord, a few days since
THE police found in the pockets Of a man
who lay dead drunk in the streets Of New
York. S7,474. r, 80
STEPHEN 0. PARKS of Albany, put a hand.
kerchief wet with chloroform 10 his nose 10.
get to sleep, while suffering with neuraIr's
and next morning was found dead.
BLUsHfNG.-" an surprised
l have never seen you blush
husband, was borp =
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21
WHOLE NUMBER POP,

" MACK the Washington correspondent OF
the lCinoinhatl Comfnereial. does not approve
OF the course Of the Western republican
members Of Congress- He says.
A." Men elected by the Union party in In
diana and Ohio, and illinois, have come
here and quietly submitted TO be led with
string in the hand OF Thaddeus Stevens, an
avowed enemy Of President johnson, and
the opponent OF all he has done, so tar, to
restore peace and Union 70 the country. Be-
fore many Of them had seen even the inside
OF the Representative Hall, they went to q
caucus, Of which Thad Stevens was the ssli
appointed leader, and subscribed to rssolu-
ton, upon which they cannot carry one one
OF four Of their districts ct home .4,
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21

JOSH Billings, in the Troy News, gives Us
weekly scintilladonssof the ripest wisdom
The last IS IN the form Of advice to a young
lady as to how she shall receive 3 proposali
''Y on ought to take it kind, down looking hill,
with an expreshun about half tickled and half
scar. After the pop is over, if yure luYyer
wants tew kiss you, don't think would say
yes or no, but utletthe thing kind Of take its own
course, There is one thing hav alwus stuck
tew, and that IL, give me long eourtships and
short engagements" g-l
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21

TIE BAGGAGE CHECKED. In arecent ad-
dress by Mr.. Vallandigham, Of Obio-speal,.
ing Of President Johnson, he said: Passing
aside the manner in which be proposes to ses-
complish the object, looking only to the end,
the complete and cordial support. Said the
President, but ten days ago, to distinguish
ed public man Of Ohio. but not resident in
the State speaking Of this great question Of
reconstruction, Of the policy which, in his
judgment, leads TO the end the quickest
i" My baggage is checked through on that
line. God grant it. Amen, amen.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21

Ar Dnmiries, Scotland, recently; a young
woman, obviously from the rural districts,
was seen standing with peFplezed aiF at
one Of the street letter boxes. She was OBJ
served to knock several. times on the top oi
the iron pillar, but obtaining no Response
she passed around to the opposite side, and
raising the cover of the siE in which the let-,
ters are placed, she applied her mouth to the
aperture, and called out, loud enough for the
amazed bystanders to hear, Can you let
me hae postage stamp p
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21

OVER rHE LEFr-THs expression has been
10 Common use more than one hundred and
htty years, meaning just the other way.#
OF contrary to the common meaning OF
what e said. 1t is on record that ia Hart.
ioTd, Connecticut, in 1905, a man was fined
20 Tor contempt of court because he said to
the Judge who had decided against him
tod bless you, over the left" Il was re-
ierred to two clergymen, to determine what
ltmeant and they decided that itWas pro.
fame aud contemptuous.-N 2 Observer.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21

JUsT So.-An exchange correctly remarks
that when a man gets mad and stops his pa
per, he always borrows the next number OF
his neighbor to see II the withdrawal Of bis
subscription hasn't killed the editor, and If he-
has not dressed the columns Of the paper in
mourning, Such men are apt to imagine that
the world rests on their shoulders. lefG'
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21

Printers will play the deuce with type
sometimes. A young lady composed some
verses TOR a country newspaper, headed Dew
Drops from Freshly Blown Roses The
printers devil printed It "Freshly blown
Noses" The fair suthoress on reading it
had immediate use for handkerchief
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21

WoNES-.They are great mystery. Ac-
cording to Haller, women bear hunger long
er than men according to Plutsrch, they
can resist the effects Of wine better accord
ing to Unger, they grow older and never
bald according to Pliny, they are seldom
attsckedby lions, Con the contrary they will
run after lions y and according to Gunther,
they can talk few
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21

President JoHSsoS is sreported By the Bos-
ton journals special dispatch as saying that
f" the Republican party had taken him up
without any solicitation on his part, and
knowing bis lifelong opinions on great ma
tiOnal questions, which opinions be did not
propose to abandon"
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21

FUUR years ago a needlewoman Of Paris
lost her husband, and in the violence Of her
grief made vow that she would never mar
ry again. Last October she was remarked.
She went, on the Feast Of the Dead, to pray
on her husbands grave; she begged him to
pardon her violation Ol the vow; her exCit.
ed imagination seemed to hear voice from
the grave exclaim, "Never!n She tainted
away and remaining in sWoon for six hours,
died the next daY. s
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21
lAN.af nfnsPAPEAsl

1.SubscfiberswhO do not give express notice
UthecOntT1ry, are considered as wishingtn ssn-
inuetheir subscriptions to the paper.
2. If subscribers order the diseontinuance Of
eiTperiOdicals the publisher may continue to
send them until all arrearages are paid,
3. Ifsubscribers neglect Orrefuse to take their
periodicals from the Office to which they Weredl-
-sCted they are reheldresponsiblet tilithey hayeset-
He'd the bill and ordered them discontinued
4. If subscribers remove TO other places with
9utinforming the publisher, and the papers are
yentto ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Observation-Disclosures
sible.
5. The OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES take
oeriodicalsfrom the office, orremoving and leav.
hgthem uncalledfor,i is primo fdeis evidence OF
Infentionalfraud.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21

ToLERABLY FA1R-" Brudder Bones, cried
Gut Tarnbotine, last evening, at the Palace
Varieties " do you know what kind Of fruit
an editor likes best2" No; can't say as I
do I" Well den III tell you what fr1 it an
editor likes best-the latest dates"
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21

THERE is boy down East who is accus-
toned to go ont on 3 railroad track and ini-
tate the steam whistle so perfectly a. TO de-
celEe the officer at the station. His last at
tempt proved eninently successf1l-the de-
pot master came out and Switched him of"
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21

TRUrH--The Richmond Enquirer says
f" this country is fast tending 10 the lowest
and most vulgar style Of royalty-the mon
archy Of the mob and the aristOcracy Of the
dollar"
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21

OUR PoPULArIoE.-Our population, in Ohio
in the year which has Just closed, according
to the Report Of the State Auditor, was 2.
5I4,974.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21
VOLUME ". NO. IS.
.URBANA UNION
W, no ok, PROPR.

OFrf0E.-Ooulson's Building, (second floor,
Restslde North Main-street, near the Square.
TERMs.-S2 90 per annum, inEariably in ad.
fance 81, IS for Six Moaths-
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21

TI,E PooR OF NEW YoRK.-Humanity cries
' Shame ~ when in these days OF luxury and
extravPgarc9 iuch factsas the following come
to light Would that there were some law
by which those who thus grind the facts
of the poor could be brought to speedy
punishment That they will eventually reap
as they sow there IS no doubt During the
recent investigation into the sanitary state Of
our city, was a so-called improved tenement
house, whose owner stated that the halls
were never lit, and that they were almost
totally dark during the day. --
"What rent do you pay?" asked one or
the visitors. s-s s.a
Seven dollars a month, answered the
mother, and we find it pretty hard to make
things meet and pay our expenses"
You work at artificial hower-making, /
see, remarked q gentleman ; '" how much
can you make day at that 2"
HWel . said the woman three can make
by working from seven o'clock in the
morning until nine at night-about one dJl-
lar and quarter. We get FIVE cents for
every twelve gross we make p
This woman said that she was obliged to
live in such a place, but that she knew that
it was one of = the most horrible places on
the face Of the earth !"-HarperS Weekly
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-02-21
stIeft 9ottte.
ROMANCE

By OLIVER wrsDELI HOLMES.
Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1866-08-04
sRECEIPTS.

The following persons have pnid. on their sub
scrfption to the CouniER, as follows:
Capt. ". G. fIillhodse, S 90
Col WIN. G. ,Koith, 20