davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1866-12-13
TURKISH PROVERBS.

small stone often makes great noise.
foolish friend Is, at times, greater annoyance
| than wise enemy.
You'll not sweeten your mouth by saying
Honey"
Do good and throw it into the sea if the fish
know it not, the Lord will.
If thy foe be as small as gnat, fancy him as
large elephant.
They who know the most are oftenest cheated.
man who weeps for every one will soon have
lost his eyesight
A friend is of more worth than kinsman
Trust not to the whiteness of his turban ;he
boughtthe soap credit.
Death is a black camel, that kneels before every
| mans door.
ALL great development complete them
selves in the world, and modestly wait in silence
praising themselves never and announcing them
selves not at all.
If you are looking at picture, you try
| to give it the advantage of good light Be as
| courteous to your fellow-beings as you are to
picture.
Isaac, my son. let the Good Book be a
lamp upon thy path"
! Mother" replied the urchin Il should think
that was making light of sacred things"
IT seems an impossibility for two silly
lovers to agree seeing that between them there
can be no understanding.
THE art of book keeping taught in one
short and easy lesson-Neyer lend them.
81 say friend, your horse is little con-
trary is not!
"No, Sir
''What makes him stop then =
'Oh, he's afraid somebodyll say whoa and he
shant hear it !"
| OF all the declarations of love, the most
admirable was that which gentleman made to q
young lady who asked him to show her the picture
of the one he loved, when he Immediately present
| ed her with mirror.
Mike" said bricklayer to his holman,
''if you meet Patrick tell him to make haste we
are waiting for him..
''Sure and l will, replied Mike, but what will
| l tell HIM if 1 don't mate him p
''IF you ever marry" said Roman con-
sui to his son, ''let it be woman who has sense
enough to superintend the setting of meal of vic
tus, taste enough to dress herself pride enough TO
| wash before breakfast, and sense enough to hold
her tongue when she has nothing to say"
"AH How doth you like my mustathe,
NTH Laura 7" lisped q dandy to a merry girl
! ''Oh, very much 1t looks like the tuz ON the
back of caterpillar.
! CARRYING polteness to excess, is said TO be
raising your hat to bow to lady in the street and
allow couple of dirty collars and PAIR Oh SOCKS
to fall to the sidewalk
As a schoolmaster was empoyedln Scot
land in his delightful task of teaching sharp ur-
chin to cipher ON the slate, the precoclous pupil
put the following question to his Instructor -
''Where diz a the figures gang till when they
rubbit out ~
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1866-12-13
GENERAL GRANTS REPORT.

The delay in receiving the reports of
some of the generals commanding the mill
tary departments compelled General GRANT,
in lieu of condensing these lengthy docu-
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1866-12-13
Dentlstrp.
TWENTY-FIVE YEARS EXPERIENCE

TWENTY-FIVE YEARS EXPERIENCE
4 IN DENTISTRY. S. SAITH, NJ. D., would re-
specially inform the inhabitants of Bradford Comfy
that he is permanently located in Waverly, NY where
he has been in the practice OF his profession for the past
four years He would say that from his long and
cesul practice Of 25 years duration he is familiar with
all the different styles of work done in any and all Den
tai establishments in city country and is better pre-
pared than any other Dental operator in the vicinity
do work the best adapted to the many and different
that present themselves oentimes to the Dentist
as he understands the art OF making his artificial
teeth, and has facilities tor doing the To those
requiring under sets of teeth he would call attention
his kind OF work which consists porcelain for
both plate and teeth, and forming continuous gum 1t
is durable, natural in appearance and much
better adapted to the gum than any other kind OF work
Those in need OF the invited to call and
inc specimens. Teeth filled last for years and often
tines for life. ChlOTOtOyTH, ether, and Nitrous orids
administered with perfect safety, four hundred
patients within the last four years testify.
viii be in Towanda from the 18th to 30th Of every
month, at the Office of " X. TAYLOR, formerly Oc-
eupied by DR.. o. H. Woodruff Having made arrange
melts with M Taylor an prepared TO do all work in
the very best style, al his office.
Nov. y, 1865. VI.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1866-12-13

A Frenchman for twenty years loved a
lady and never missed passing his evenings at her
house. She became widow II wish you joy, "
cried his friend you may now marry the woman
you have so long adored." "Alas !" said the poor
Frenchman, profoundly detected :" land where
should spend my evenings"
IT is not true that BIondin wants the At,
lantc Cable raised on poles, so that he can walk
over it.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1866-12-13
TERMS OF PUBLICATION.


The REPoEcERis published every Thursday Nor
ling by E. o. GooDR1oH, at 50 per arnum, in ad
vance.
ADVERTISEMENTS exceeding fifteen lines are
Inserted at TEN CENTS per line for first insertion
and FIVE CENTS per line for subsequent insertions
Special notices inserted before Marriages and
Deaths, will be charged FIFTEEN CENT. per line fol
each insertion All resolutions of Associations
communications of limited or individual interest
and notices of Marriages and Deaths exceeding five
lines, charged TEN CENTS per line.
Year 6 mo. mo-
0he Column, ..........S75 $40 $50
............. 40 % 15
One Square, ..............1 10 u 5
Estray, Caution, Lost and Found and 9TH
er advertisements, not exceeding 15Gnes,
three weeks, or less, s,................S1 so
Administrators and Executors Notices. 2 90
Auditors Notices Observation-Disclosures. 80
business Cards, five lines (per year, IS 90
Merchants and others, advertising their business
VIII be charged $50. They will be entitled to
column confined exclusively to their business, with
privilege of change
Es- Advertising IN all cases exclusive of sub
occiption to the paper,
JOB PRINTING OF every kind in Plain and Fan
cv colors, done with neatness and dispatch. Hand
oils. Blanks, Cards, Pamphlets &C., of every va
'ty and style printed at the shortest notice The
.IEPoRrER OFFICE has Just been re-ftted with Power
Presses, and every thing in the Printing line can
be executed in the most artistic manner and at the
lowest rates. TERMS INVARIABLY CASH.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1866-12-13
THE REPORT OF THE SECRETARY OF THE NAVY

THE REPORT OF THE SECRETARY OF THE NAVY.
The annual report of GIDEON WELLEs, Sec
retary of the Navy, occupies forty-twO pa
ges, document size He states that the
large navy necessary during the war has
been reduced and brought within the linn
its of a proper peace establishment, and
congratulates the country that since the
surrender of the armies and the termina-
tion of the blockade, tranquility has per-
vaded the States which were in rebellion"
He then discourses at lenght upon the
peaceful submission of the South to the re.
suit of the war observes that he is not at
all surprised that its people should oppose
the attempt to impose upon them terms
which are regarded as in the nature of er
post facto laws, and constitutional amend
ment " in the preparation and presentment
of which they had no voice or representa-
ton" The New Orleans Massacre he as
serts was in the beginning ga domestic
disturbance of local character, having its
origin in a controversy concerning the
State government" and proclams the fact
that the riot was speedily suppressed with
out assistance from the naval vessels which
were in front of the city I" and ready to re1
der aid If required" In the next paragraph
a general exhibit of the navy is given, from
which we learn that the total number of
vessels at this time is two hundred and
seventy yeight, armed with two thousand
three hundred and ffty-one guns, one hun
dred and fifteen in number, armed with one
thousand and twentynine guns, being in
commission and on active duty The total
number of seamen is about l3,600. A list
of the vessels composing the different
squadrons, and the movements of each dur
ing the year, is given that the policy of
the department is not to allow the country
to become complicated in the controversies
of other powers with Japan is announced
and the course pursued by Commodore
Rodgers in maintaining a strict neutrality
during the bombardment of Valparaiso is
approved. In regard to the building of ves-
sells, he believes that the Government should
have its own shops and machinery and
construct it's own iron and armored naval
vessels, and that, in the event of foreign
war, one of the navy yards north of the
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1866-12-13
! j. NE w E L L

Orwell, Bradford Co. Pa, will promptly attend to all
business in his line. Particular attention given TO
surveying OF all unpattented ands warrant
obtained.
MAY II, 1856.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1866-12-13

BAPTIsING A SINNER.--Poor people have a
hard time in this world of ours Even in
the matter of religion, there is a vast diff
erence between Lazarus and Dives, as the
following anecdote, copied from an ex-
change, will illustrate
Old Billy G. had attended a great re-
vival, and in common with many others, he
was convicted and baptised. Not many
weeks afterwards, one Of his friends met
him reeling home from the court ground
with considerable brick" in his hat.
Hello, Uncle Billy" said his friend, 81
thought you had joined the church p
$50 l,did," answered Bill" making des-
perate effort to stand still; $50 l did,
Jeemes, and would a'bin good Baptist if
they hadn't treated me so everlastin' mean
at the waters. Didn't you hear about it,
Jeemes ?"
"No, | never did"
"Then, I'll tell you bout it, You see,
when we come to the baptizin' place, thar
was old Sinks, the rich old squire, who was
to be dipped at the same time. Well, the
minister took the squire in frs, but l didn't
mind that much, as thought that 'twould
be just as good when | cum SO he led him
in mitey keerful, and wiped his face and
led him out. Well, then come my turn, and
instead OF iiften' me out as he did the
squire, he gave me one slosh, and left me
crawin' around on the bottom like mud
turtle-that's so, Jeemes"
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1866-12-13

SNYDER HOUSE, four story brick ed
~ ce the depot with large airy rooms elegant
arloVs, newly furnished has a recess in new ddition
lor Ladies use and is the most CONVENIENT and only
hrs class ho'el at Waverly N Y 1t is the pr Incl pal
once lor stages south and express Also tor sale of
Western Tickets and in Canada, Grand Trunk Rail
way iare TO Detroit from Buffalo 81 is cheaper than
any other route apply for tickets IS above TO
C. WARFORD.
s. Sta6lng and care of Horses at reasonable rates
"averly y. Y Oct 26 1866 SIN. c. W
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1866-12-13

How THE PARsoN GOT ExCrED-A few
years since, near the city of n, in Con-
necticut, lived and preached old Parson B.,
who was bit excitable and near-sighted
One day he had been to the city with
his horse, and among his purchases was a
barrel of flour, one head of which was par
TALLY out
On the way home the old man was over
taken and passed by fast young man
driving fast horse, and putting on airs
Now, the parsons horse was usually a
quiet, steady-going animal enough, but he
couldn't stand that so he started after him
on the fast order in 2:40, in good earnest
The jolting of the wagon at length Jared
the head completely out of the barrel, and
the strong wind which was blowing direct
ly after the pastor, blew the flour all over
him and the horse.
At last the young man was left be ind,
and the village reached but the speed of
the horse was not checked In driving
through a street to reach his home, he came
in contact with one of bis deacons, who
was naturally surprised to see his minister
driving at such apace, and signaled him to
stop.
"Why. Parson b." said he, "what on
earth is the matter? You seem greatly
excited"
Excited y yelled the old man, "excit-
ed ! who wouldn't be excited-snow storm
in July. Get up, Dobbin"
The deacon smiled, but was silent.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1866-12-13

OFTEN do we think when we ought to
act, and act when it behooves us to reflect hence
caution is frequently as fatal as rashness
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1866-12-13

DR. II. WESTON, DENTIST Office
- in Patton's Block. over Barstow & Cores Dug
and Chemical :. ors. ljan66
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1866-12-13

FIRMNEss OF CHARACTER--It is wonderful
to see what miracles a resolute and un-
yielding spirit will achieve. Before its ir-
resistible energy the most formidable OBJ
stacles become as cob-web barriers in it's
path. Firmness of purpose is like the
crushing avalanche, which sweeps every
thing before It while in motion Difficult
ties, the terror of which causes the unde-
termined to shrink back with dismay, pro-
woke from the man of lofty determination
only smile. The whole history of our
racial nature indeed teens with exam
Piles to show what may be accomplished by
intrepid perseverance and patient toll
1t is related of Tamerlane, the celebra
ted warrior, the terror of whose army
spread through all eastern natl rs, and
whose victory attended at almost every
step, that he once learned from an insect
an example Of perseverance, which had
striking effect on his future character and
success. When closely pursued by his enc
mics, as the anecdote is related, he took
refuge in some old ruins, where, left to his
solitary musings, he espied an ant striying
and tugging to carry away a single grain
OF corn. His unavailing efforts were re-
peated sxty-nine times, and at each sever
al time, as soon as he reached a certain
point he fell back with his burden unable
to surmount it. But the seUentieth time he
bore away his spoil in triumph and left the
wondering hero terminated in the hope of
future victory.
How pregnant the lesson this incident
conveys! How many thousand incidents
there are in which inglorious defeat ends
the career of the timid and desponding,
when the same tenacity of purpose, the
same unfiinching perseverance, would
crown it with triumphant success.
Resolution is almost competent. Sheri-
dan was at first timid, and obliged to set
down in the midst of speech. Convinced
of and mortified at the cause of his failure,
he said one day to friend, "it is insane
and shall come out" From that moment
he rose and shone, and triumphed in con-
sumate eloquence. Here was reason and
resolution.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1866-12-13

A STREAK AHEAD OF NoAH.--A dispute
once arose between two Scotchmen, named
Campbell and Mclean, upon the antiquity
of their families. The latter would not al
low that the Campbells had any right to
rank with the McLeans in antiquity, who
he insisted, were in existence as clan
since the beginning of the world. Camp
bell had little more biblical knowledge
than his antagonist, and asked him if the
McLeans was before the flood
Flood what food ?" asked Mclean
g The flood, you know, that drowned all
the world but Noah and his family" said
Campbell.
Pooh you and your food" said Nc
Lean. my clan was afore the food"
81 have not read in my Bible," said
Campbell, "of the names of Mclean going
into Noah's ark"
"Noah's ark " retorted Mclean, in con
tempt. Who ever heard of a Mclean
! that hadn't boat Of his own 2"
WHY are balloons in the air like vagrants
| tbarh how org
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1866-12-13
FUN, FACTS AND FACETIE.

One exceedingly warm day in July a
neighbor met an old man and remarked that it was
very hot. Yes, Joe, IF it wasn't for one thing
should say going to have thaw." What
is that ?" inquired his friend. There's nothing
froze," said Joe. The man went his way much en-
hghtened.
The following new version of Scripture
passage is recommended for the use of Southern
Christians ''Let the little white children come
unto me, for of such is the kingdom of Heaven"
WE frequently hear of our generals cap
turing ''pieces of artil cry" whats the use OF
continually capturing pieesS2" say Mrs. Partington
why not capture whole ones p
They say--Ah well, suppose they do,
But can they prove the story true?
Susp cion may arise from nought
But malice, envy, want of thought
Why count yourself among the ''they,"
Who whisper what they dare not say?
They say-But why the tale rehearse.
And help to make the matter worse?
No good can possibly accrue
From telling what may be untrue
And is it not noble plan
To speak of all the best you can?
They say-Well, if it should be so,
Why need you tell the tale of woe:
VIII it the ibtter wrong redress,
Or make one pang of sorrow less
Will 1t the errlng one restore,
Hencetorth to 'go and sin no more 2"
They say-Oh pause, and look within,
See how thine heart incline to sin:
Watch. lest in dark temptations hour
Thou, too, should'st sink beneath its power
Pity the frail, weep DER their fall
But speak of good or not at all
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1866-12-13
4 NJ ERICAN HOTEL

Having purchased this well known Hotel on Bird ge
Street, have reurnished and reftted it with every
convenience for the accommodation OF all who may pat
ronize me No pains will be spared TO make all pleas
ant and agreeable. j. ). PATTERSON Prom
May 3. 65.-tf.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1866-12-13

Why are balloons in the air like vagrants
ecause they have no visible means of support.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1866-12-13

TO MR.. AND MRS. CYRUS MERRILL ON THE
DEATH OF THEIR SON, MARCH 9th, 1866.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1866-12-13

John \. CALIFF, ATTORNEY At
- LAEY, Towanda, Pa Also, Government gent
or the collection OF Pensions, Back Pay and Bounty
RR- No charge unless successful. Office over the
Post Office and News Room. Dec. |. 1864.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1866-11-29
BRITISH BARRON IMPORTERS At YORK
ON ORR TARIFF.

The excellent Tariff Bill passed by the House last
July, but hung up in the Senate By New-York and
New England votes contained classification Of bar
irons which was inserted for the double purpose of
increasing the Revenue and of adjusting duties to
values Previous tariffs, framed ignorantly or made
in the interest Of importers, had Jumped" costly and
cheap irons of different sizes aud qualities in tho same
groups and submitted them TO the same duties with
out discrimination as to value. To end this practical
fraud on our revenue, and this manifest wrong to our
iron-makers in their competition with foreigners, the
Ways and Means Committee classified iron according
10 its sizes and shapes and consequently according to
its cost Of production The House, without dissent,
promptly adopted it, and voted that high-prioed iron
should no longer be struggled in under low-prced
duties. Quite consistently, our British importers do
not relish the prospect Of the loss of the advantage
which they have for so many years quietly enjoyed
They protest against it, and they working against
IL, and working for even greater Jumping" prvi-
leges than they now enjoy. The American barron
manufacturers will read with interest the following
communication. which their rivals have made to ID.
A. Wells, who is charged by the Secretary of the
Treasury with the labor Of getting up new Tariff TO
override the bill passed by the House:
AT meeting OF he iron importers III NA3 VI
York Nov l5 1850 It recommended that the present am
bguo1s and ycxaous classification OF sizes OF iron for the basis
OF duties b. corrected and smplihed rs follows, viz:
On Bar Iron rolled and hammered. lXi 70 OK, nat
On Bar Iron rolled and hammered thicker than in fat
Bar Iron rolled and hammered TO in round or square
On Bar Iron rolled aud hammered - in and upward square
GA Bar Iron rolled and hammered 3 10 70 9l6 ill., square
Band Scroll and Hoop Iron hammered not thinner than
y W gauge
On Band Scroll AMI Hoop Iron hammered thinner than r.
". gauge
On Ovas HilfOvals and HllfROunds hammered.
On Sheet Plato and Boiler Iron thinner than 20 W gauge
Sheet Plate and Boiler Iron thinner than ~ W. gauge
Tor the above nda0n that the dis
crmunon against many iron renders their mporti
absolutely prohjory and this depryes the Government
OF revenue
has been the OF manufacturers both at home and
abroad include all sizes OF Bar unsay. Hats 10 inches
wide and rounds and squares inches-under price;
uHd why particular zes should be- made sub
feet % a different duty. A. Il. WETMORE President
l.. i. HorKNs, secretary.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1866-11-29

was also educating supply Of the very best teachers;
and almost all other methods, compared with bis or
with Dr. Bells, seem clumsy and unphilosophical.
The crimes for which fogging may be tho proper
remedy-such as lying, stealing, obscenity-are pre-
csey those which should insure the expulsion OF the
offender from the school as promptly as II he had the
itch or the yellow fever. The number of such cul-
prits must always DO necessarily small unless they
are permitted to remain and propagate their wicked
ness teacher with natural talent for teaching
he be allowed this liberty of winnowng under proper
restrictions will soon be strong in the love, gratitude
and respect of bis pupils. The misfortune Is that
such teachers are rare and when they are discovered
are almost always advanced to higher positions and
set to work, as in the case of Prof Agassiz, upon
young men; but with clearer ideas of School'keepmg
we believe that supply Of such might be reason
ably anticipated.