The West Virginia journal. [volume] (Charleston, W. Va.) 1864-1877, 1866-08-15
Pills Prescribed by ProfessorHAll
- rs From Nalrs Josrnal, y HSo'tk - -,

man who met Randolph on : psrrov
foot:vay; "Ido," replit I'D Instantly thss
! remarkable man, and, stepping s'id',
passed on. -s..El," i-t4...J -
A traveller stopped tan iuu for break
fast, aud having drank cup d what
was given him, tho servant ssked, what
will you tako, sir, ,toa or coffee 2 THAT
depends upon circumstances" wss the
reply. "1f what you gave me lsst va
tea, want coEoe hit W, coffee, I vast
tea. wan. CHANGE
"What do you know ofthe defendant
Mr.. Thompson Do you cousids. hin
good musician 2" %" % that point I
wish to swear with great care. do not
wish to insiuuate that Mr.. VanslopeS l.
not good musician. Not at oil. But
I could not help observing (people will
observe queer things at time,) that after
he commenced playing, on tho olarionSt,
a saw.6ler, who lived next door, loft
home, and has never yet been heard
FROM"
a sailor being asked how be liked his
bride, replied Why, dye 800 I took
her for to bo only half Of me, - the par.
son says, but dash mo ifsbc iso't twice
as much rs +. I'm oulys ts', hst shs
is Turtar." .-. ....
During Q recent trial 10 Auburn, ths
following occurred to vary the monotopy
Of tho proceedings: D., Among ths Wit
nesscs was one, as verdant .. specimen
Of humanity as ono would wish 70 meet
With. After severe cross.examinltlon,
the counsel for tho Government paused.
and tbeu putting on look Of severity;
and On onlinous shake Of the hesd, q:
claimed: "Mr. Witness, has not "a u:
fort been made to Induce you to toll
different story?" "a different story
, from what have told, sir p " T hat h.
what I mean" "Yes, sir ; several pr:
sons have tried to get mo to tell differ:
: ont story from what | have told, but they
couldu t. NOW, sir, upon your osth.
. wish to know who those persons are"
4" Wall, I CUES, you've tried bout ~
s hard as any Of them" '.'.''' ". .''
0 "I'vc got new machine" said .
+. Yankee pedlor, " for picking bones out
Of fishes. Now l toll you, it's lostls BIT
. tho queerest thing you ever did ssS.-.
> All you havc to do is to set Il on tsblO
;, aud turn crank, and tho 6sh dies dowa
:, your throat, and tho bones right under
the grato. Well, there was . county
f greenhorn got hold Of il the other day.
and ho turned tho crank the wrong way;
and, I tell you, tho way the bones dew
down his throat was awful Why, Il
, stuck tho follow 50 full Of bones that hs
] couldn't get his shirt Of for whole
> week." ..ra So 81" .'...' g.. .s'"' ?
The report ofa court.martisl wss ssuI
!. to. President Lincoln for bis examinstiop,
h who returned it with this Characteristic
j endorsement: "Wh.reaI, F! w. Smith
' bad transaction With tho u. 8. Navy
:. Department to . million and quarter ol
a dollars, and had chance to SteII quar-.
I tor Of o million; and whereas, he vas
! charged With ste.liog only ia thoussnd
: dollars, and from tho anal revision Of th1
y testimony tits only clsimed that b stole
o 9 ono hundred dollars, I, don't be}ievO
). that he stole anything at al. Therefore
o the records Of the court martial, together.
= with the 6ndiugs aud sentence, are d..
y approved, declared null and void, aud
, :, the defcndantis fully discharged. ,''l" =
. -; (Signod) A. LINcoLN."'%'
:; An impatient Welshmaa called TO hiS'
}, vito, "Como, como, isn't breakfast resdyf
/. I'vo had nothing since yesterday, and
o tomorrow will be tho third asy r.
0 This is equal to the call Of the string
housewife, who aroused her maid at iaur
b o'clock with, "Como, Bridget, got up !
It Hcrc, lis Monday morning, tomorrow
,. is Tuesday, tho next days Wedns ssdsy-
y half tho week gouc, and nothing done
0 yet" -. / ..l l..
/. Mr.. Randolph, tho celebrated orator
. uud stateamau, was lying 90 soisliu The
D pnrlor Of tavern, waitiog for thsstsgs,
;. to como to tho door. A dsr didea eh6p
j stepping into The room With . whip 10
8 his hand, just como from . driyS, Sads'
J., standing before, = Mirror, srrangsd .hk
Q hair and collar, quite unconscious, of'ths
8 presence Of the gsptlemin on the sofa.
); After attitudiuizing while, be turssd 70
go out, when Mr.. Randolph asksd Liu,i
:, '' Has the stage como :" "Stsss, iiri
s stage - said tho fop: I've nothing % do
with it, sir!"" 0h!l beg your PardoS:. ;:
. said Randolph quietly j thousht ~
g. we're the driver" ~ =. ~. :gf -: ii.pr
h The alderman who wa lstsly iAjut1d
i by the accidental discharge 'of hh duty,
G is reported 10 bS In fair Wy q feeo7:
L cry He says he'll never bsosught thsA
way ,g.Iu xhil4 in full possession ofhh
J, senses. ,.r.s- q
/? ~ am glad tbat coffee dout iSvs -
,, anything" sid bookkseper % hk :VifS
s tho other morning atblssffasA ~ Wy
0 so p was the question. {" BSeaao0 I
j: don't believe It would ever ssttls.":> %,
j. aHlBERNrAx "ToAsrs.--TW6 esllsat
. "sons Of, Erin;" =! bsiug just aisskasrs1
. from. service, were rejoicing eysr ~
|, event; whom one, who fslt Ill ~ llosy
. Of bio noble race, suddenly rsI,sd i61ct
D above his had, sod said, aArrsi, Nh;
!, here's 70 The Gallsut old 69th~ths ~
eI ,D''.A "a 4 a.. Nt..,. 'S.I n