Daily union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1865-1866, 1866-10-16
.lniDn aud Smfrifau.
sUT LOsENeooD, ON THE PURITAN
YANKEE.
Powerful ornary stock. GEoRcE. powerful
nrnnrv

ornary."
For the Union and Americana
The rale, pure puritan, yankee baby, has
a naik like gourd, foot like glut an a
belly like a milldeS' drum head. He gifts
his ewes open at five days, while uther purps
hev to wait nine, an long afore shat time he
learns to listen owe night, for his mans
snorin, when he snealzs in 10 suck on the sly, 4
not that he's hongry for he's got the usual /
Yankee mess owe billed starch, but becaze /
stolen meat Is sweet even this yearly, 70 the /
blue, bline, scrawny young trap maker He |
hes cheated his man, wifout eyes-sO guess /
he'll make a average yankee, able 10 keep /
up the famerly name, an perhaps invent
cod hook, or a clothes pin. From that night /
on. the varmints whole life is q string owe |
eheats-siraight along never restin, never /
missin ontil the clocks wore out an the cords |
broke. As the dorg vonits, as the mink |
sucks blood, as the snail shines as the pos
sum sham's death, 50 dus the yankee cheat.
Tor evcy pdrmiHt hes hts gf.
he believes in schools an colleges as a |
barber dus IN str0ps, an homes, as bein good |
tools to sharpen rszors on. Hell sing hymes, |
an pray prayers for you, an maybe gin you |
a dime. but II you don't coon fine out verse; |
sot back FIVE miles on yer road TO heaven, /
an ninety cents loser by his zeal, an chart |
~, YOU may shoot my eyes out VIII buck |
load Of cow-slop, an / won't even say |
PheE His long, cold, fat back, is the color |
owe merlatter-galPs head, lis arter hit has |
been close shaved, an hits stuck all over |
from the scrag to the tail, Eif his sins like |
revenoo slomps on a law suit, an il you'll !
famine EN- clost, you'll fine cheat Of sum
sort In the las durn'd one. IL he sins amung
the she's. thar's a cheat either in money Or
expectashuns III he sins a cussin thar's a
cheat in the words, he'll try 20 smuggle in
Cd d-n, onder the whinin sham owe
sgaul darn" If he sins a stealth chickens,
he'll steal back at day break, au' crow jis 10
cheat the poor devil inter believin that the |
ole cock Is still on the rOost. If he sells you |
an apple for cent, arter smeilin the copper |
he'll try to slip peach onto you, even If hit !
+ owe the same price, jis for the sake owe |
sticlsn a cheat intu the trade. If be scalds /
his leather snout dippin bit intu your soup, !
he'll offer you a wooden nutnlaig for enufi of |
The skimmins 10 grease the burn. He'll cat |
a goldfish, and try tn cheat hissef intu be- |
levin hits beef, an he'll listen to the chirpin
owe the cricket in his fire jamb, tellin his |
childerthatitsays, "cheat," "cheat" "cheat" /
His big. Timber foot Is cheat, for hits size /
and shape makes you think hit mus have |
cut hie throat. you'll find a cheat for instead |
owe wsrm red blood, stream sky blue will |
run 40 cold that hiFl freeze the black ants |
what gifts overtuck by the food, and when
the devil gits i'm, he'll be cheated, for he
won't burn as good as a sailed raw hide.
What he wer ever made for is whats a pes
terin' me, onless hit were to make as hev q
better 'pinion owe pole cats, possums, an
cotton-mouths, or as Twin sampils to skeer
ms out owe the road 10 hell. ] reckon it wud
be a tolerable safe rule 10 do muffin the Yam
kee does, an do mos emmy thing what he
lets alone.
kin sorter bar the idear owe my bein
natral born'd, durn'd fool, my dad playin
HI actin hoes, the sody bisness, sister
SAIIis unlawful baby-everything-
thing, even the las war an THAD STEVENS
but fur the life owe me, / cant recen-
struck mvsef on the idear owe the landin
owe the MdldoCo. What cud our Maker
bin thinkin about, that he forgot to lay his
finger on her rotten old snout, an turn her
down in the middil eve the soft sea, VIII her
pcstilerus load of cantin cheats an moril
diseases. The wust that cud a happen'd
wud been the pisinin owe a shoal or two
cve sharks, an KILN the coral whar the old
tub lay.
/ il mad ct the injuns too, for they dident
begin 10 do thar juty to EN- arter they did
Lam II they had carcumsized the head owe
the las durnd one, burnt thar clos, pack'd
thar carkuses heads-an-tails, herrin fashun,
in thar old ship, sot the sails an pintsd
her snout the way WARDS ducks went they'd
deserved tobacker an whisky, while wood
grows or water runs 'Spose they had a strung
threehundred an one scalps onawillerswitch
for bait. an went mackril hshin. We'd
hev no maclUril now a days i reckon, but
what a gineral blessin hit wud a been TO the
hole yeath-the isles owe the sea, the witches,
an the niggers. Wudent them injuns had
. aavory smell in my sn0ut in spite owe
thar grubWurm oder, an wudent lrise owe a
midnight, or any other night TO call 'em
blessed, in spite owe thar roastin my gran
dady. No wooden clocks, horn gun hints,
nur higher law. No Millerism, mOrmonism,
nor free love- Noabolishunism, spirit rap
pins. nor CROWN hens No Bloomer Bit
britches meant to say, no GREELEY, no
SUMNER. Obi my erasmus, hits too
GOOD 70 think about. Durn them leather
ipiuns they let the bes' chance slip ever in
juns had TO give eyerlastin comfort 10 con-
tinont and too set hell back at leas' FIVE
hundred year. I is powerful feard ! amt
reconstructed on the injun question ither.
GEoRGE, pass the jug, the su6jick is over
powerin me, an l aini quite dun onbuzzumin
mysef yet. That's powerful fur reachin
whisky owe yourn.
Weill everything the yankee does am a
cheat in sum way. The word cheat kivers
his hole character as puieckly as the ball
owe dirt kivers the young tumil bug, an
like ihe bug, he lives on hit walters in hit,
rolls hit. an az las il buried in hit. Thar
NAV be a iron coffin, an silver tassils, thar
may be a grave stone from Italy, the side
owe his face may be cut outen rock, an
stuck up agin the wall inside his ehu'ch, an
they may call thar tro,tin' hoss's, cod boats,
an blue babys arier i'm. yet still oDder that
black volvit kiyerlid, inside that iron coffin,
atwix the fine linnen an that shriviPd hide
owe hisn, "a that bali orc dlrt lie cudent
live wifout hit he cudeni die wifout hit, ne
cudont lie still in his grave wiiout hit, an
he never will be wifout hit ontill the sheriff
angel at the door owe the last supreme
court shells him outen hit With a kick,
afore he slings i'm naked into the prisoners
box. whar for the flsi time frum his fust
souan. az the cold air in his snout, mp 20
that orful klein out, on judgniint day, he'll
STAN only on his rale merits--A YANKEE
nakid-wif wilder in his breast like one
owe his own hemlook clocks, shown all his
inside, springs, traps, an triggers. Then
wei see what he raley is for the fust
time, an perhaps wei find out then what he
wer made for, II he wer made at all, or only
iis happin'd like SAIL SIMPSONS baby did
Nor we jist knows that he is q cnss 10 the
wealth, an pest to every human on hat,
like Aeas, an lice, an catch, made as euss,
KEEP alive as a cuss, an should be doctor d
as a cuss- TAon wei know it all, but whether
hici pay then % know hit is mighty mix d
better 20 do than 70 poster our brains u0ut
fcas, lice, catch, yankees or spreadin adders
iether. Powerful ornAry stock, GEoDGIb
powerful ornary.