Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1866-07-11

the conservative candidate.
IL If you want to sleep quietly, don't
praise another woman While your wife is un-
dressing for bed.
& An English paper in describing q
.hipwreck says that che mate Of the vessel,
who was the only survivor of the crew, found
himself cast upon an uninhabited island,
aoithout q shilling in his pocket"
| BG~ A Western paper, in describing the
debut of young orator, says that "he broke
the ice felicitously with his opening sentence,
and was almost Immediately drowned with
applause"
~ When man takes his morning bath,
nine million months are open to thank him
for disencumbering their orifces.
~ A rampant Republican preacher,
named, "Rev." Ben. Tucker, has been or.
rested in Shelby county, Indiana, for COM
mitting an outrage upon. his wife's sister, q
little girl. A deacon in the same county, NJ.
NJ. Dodd, has been arrested for running a
young and virtuous girl.
B" A poplar tree, fresh from its native
soil, is converted by a Philadelphia company
into clear, white, soft paper in the space Of
five hours.
BaT A singular divorce case came off re.
Gently at Cannelton, Indiana. 4 young lady
in Perry county was married, to all appear
ance, happily; but ten days after the cele-
bration of nuptials she filed a petition in the
Clerks Office for divorce, setting up as aplea
that the individual she had married aras not
q man. The evidence on the trial was sufi-
cient to establish this fact, and the divorce
was very properly granted.
s@-The details reach us, through the To-
cal press of Western New York, of the horri.
BILE murder of his own child by a "loyal"
Clergyman in that intensely Radical quarter.
The victim was lad of some three or four
summers. He had shown some contumacy
unnatural father deliberately cudgeled him to
DEATH The little fellows fi6agers were broken
in his efforts to ward off the cruel blows. It
is of the devilish spirit this dreadful crime
evinces, that prompts all the horrors Radical.
ism would br.g upon the land.
B@ GPa, can person catch any thing if
be don't run after it?" "Certainly not"
"Well, then: how did you catch the cold
you've got?"
B@n Mr.. Jones, don't you think marriage
is means of grace 2" Certainly; anything
is means of grace that breaks up pride and
leads to repentance" Scene closes with
bfoom-handle.
EA In boring for coal at St. Joseph, Mo-,
a depth of three hundred and fifty feet has
been reached. Two veins of coal have been
passed-oHe eighteen inches and the other
| two feet thick. Below the second vein brine
has been reached it is said to yield eighty
three per cent. of salt. 1t causes as much
sensation in the city as if oil had been struck.
Mrs. Partington, in an illustration octhe
proverb. GA soft answer turneth away
wrath, /" says that ut is better to speak para.
gorically of person than to be all the time
Gnging epitaphs at him."
IL Why area country. girls cheeks ike
good print dress ? Because they are warranted
to wash and retain their color.
Ra5 Some wretch of punster says the
recriminations ofmarried people resemble the.
sounds of the waves on the sea shore-beiug
the murmurs of the tied.
@ The first female secessionist was
Madam Eve, who seeded from Adam, and
thereby brought such mischief upon the
State that it hasn't recovered from the effects
of it yet. The agent that brought about lhe
acts, 1t will be recollected, was the Devil
ne same that had go much to do with s, ,ces-
sion in the United States. Let US sqlelch
the Old Boy.
BS A Taunton youngster wanted to see
ne circus the other day, but couldn't because
he worked in the mills He cut the helr and
topped the machinery, and went-frst to
he circus, and afterwards to Jail for three
weeks.
R@ The Verponter who attempted to snuff
out the gas-light with his fingers, screamed.
" Bloody murder your pesky candlcstck'a
afre !"
DaF Ten years ago there were not mere
than three or four thousand acres planted
with vines in the United States; now there
are not less than two millions of acres SO
planted. Formerly American wine went q
begging at one dollar per gallon, now it sells
as fast as made for from two to six dollars
per gallon.
ES A lot of mutilated currency was re.
ceived lately at the Treasury Department,
with the following note: I" To the Secretary
of the Treasury-Sir: have sent herewith
some old veterans who have done the country
some service, and are ready to be mustered
out"
B1. A bale Of cotton, received in Mobile
last week from Selma, was sent to ware
house tc be compressed for shipment 1t re-
fused to be compressed and on examination
was found te contain four pieces of swamp
oak, four feet long, and a lot of bowldera.
The oak and stones weighed two hundred
and six pounds.
Hs At a law club the President called aa
old lawyer TO give as toast the pereon whom
he considered the best friend Of the proies.
sion. Certainly" was the response; "TLe
man who makes his own will"
Ess The biggest big tree yet discovered
in California is iifty-two feet five inches in
diameter, or over one hundred and fifty feet
in circumference. Only the stump is left.
EEs Stuff your pockets with mackerel,
and imagine yourself whale, and you are
hopeful member Of the cod6A aristocracy.
IS" Oh, Jennie, an did you rerer
hear ev my npaach afors the Hibernian So
cetY ?" :" No, Pat, how could /, for sure
was not on the ground" "Well, Jennie,
you see was called upon by the Hibernian
Society for spaach; and, be iabers, I rose
with enthusiastic cheers of thousands, and
tins of thousands. with my heart overAowing
with gratitude, and ily eyes full of tears,
and divil Of s'word did spake."
~ was saia In the olden time that
the body was more than raiment; butepow