Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-08-02
MISCELLANY.
HOW THEY GO TO BED.

The young girl trips gaily up to her cham
Der, and, with the cautious timidity peculiar to
her sex. first locks the doors and arranges the
window curtains, so that by no chance passer
bv. or belated nocturnal wanderer from the
pavement, can catch glimpse of her budding
beauty when en- dishabdle. This task compile
Ted; che turns on the gas to its full, and insti-
tutes general search throughout the apart
ment that she may be sure it does not contain
horrible bugbear," or desperate rufian,
in big whiskers and crisp black hair. Carefully
with her delicate little fingers, she lifts the bed
valance; peers into places where even Tom
Thumb could not sqeeze his diminutive corpora
ton, and takes a cursory peep into the half
emptied trunk , not forgetting to glance ner-
vously under the sofa, the space between which
and the floor is not sufficient to contain the
ghost of Calvin Edison, much less an ordinary
robber. Having ascertained that she is really
alone, she leisurely proceeds to divest her fair
form of the "silk and linen ccnventionalities
of society" First she relieves her glossy hair
of pins and combs which enthrall it, and does
It up" more compactly. Then off comes the
little collar and the little vapory cloud of lace
she calls undersleeves, which all the day have
been clasped around her white plump arms, by
a couple of India rubber straps.
Next the love of spring silk dress is unfas-
tened in front. Then sundry waist strings and
button straps are loosed, and 10 J what col
lapse, like loves big balloon. She stands like
Saturn, the centre Of rings. There they lie ON
the soft carpet, partly covered by the linenun-
derfixingsand overf3ings, with no more express
sion in them than there is in the bare floor be-
meath the carpet. Sit he now upon the edge
of the snowy bed, and begins the unlacing OF
CATERS, and the disrobing of these fair swelling
limbs of their stockings. The pretty little foot
is carefully perched upon the knee-down
drops the gaiter, off comes the elastic, and the
thumb, inserted in the top of the stocking,
pushes it downtown over the heel, and the
cotton rests beside the prunella. So with the
other foot, only Involving a slight change-ot
position. There is smile that peeps out from
behind the bushes Of her sweet face, now as
standing before the glass she places upon her
head the nightcap, and with the quick twist OF
her finger ties the bewitching bow. Then the
night gown is thrown over the frilled chemise,
concealing the heaving bosom and the shoul-
ders in the linen folds Then the counterpane
and sheets are thrown back, the gas turned
down-very, very low-and the little form
presses the yielding couch, and the angel goes
off into the world of dreams.
Now, in the room directly above her, is the
great brute of a brother. He comes into IL,
shuts the door with slam, turns the key with
snap, growls at chair which happens to be
in the way, pulls off his boots and throws them
in corner, Jerks his socks from his feet, drops
his pantaloons on the floor and lets them lie
there ;-gets out of his vest and coat bya quick,
vindictive twist of the arms and body, unplns
and unbuttons his collar, throws it careleSsly
with the tie at rather than on the table; travels
IN the window in his shirt extremity to let
down the curtain. as if he didn't care cuss
whether the entire population Of the street be-
held his anatomy or not; then puts out the
LIGHT and bounces into bed like great calf
humping into pile of hay-curls himself up,
his knees nearly touching his nose, lies mo-
ment or two, turns on his back, stretches
his limbs out, swears at the tucking in of the
bed clothes, grunts, gets over on the other side
and is-asleep. Then comes in the snoring and
snorting.
/ For further particulars, take sido view.