The Portland daily press., 1866-01-23

ing with some friends on bologna sausage and
ale the other day, found the end of mans Tin
ger in his sausage! He quickly elected the I'M
welcome morsel from his mouth, went home
and took an emetic
E- "Remember, madam, that you are the
weaker vessel" said an irate husband. Sex
actly." said the lady, "but do not you forget
that the weaker vessel may have the stronger
spirit in it."
10. The citizens of Gloucester propose to
erect a new public hall, the building to cost
$4,000. e.erEr Irl
E" The hotel keepers in New York held
meeting few evenings since, at which 1T was
resolved to do away with the present system OF
passing" or "dead-heading," and to charge eV-
ry person who receives accommodations the
usual rate of board.
Gzs- There is trouble in the Congregational
Church at East Weymouth, growing out OF
rafting at a recent fair.
g5y- The melancholy wreck of the packet
ship Guy Mannering, Capt. Bourne, from New
York to Liverpool, on the coast of Scotland,
and the loss of seventeen of her crew, has been
announced in our foreign news columns. 1t
occurred on the 9th inst.
| GB- MADAM" said gentleman to his wife,
'let me tell you facts are very stubborn things"
| "Dear me, you don't say So" quoth the lady,
'"what fact you must beF
EA- The Boston Post takes great comfort in
stating the fact, if fact it is, that Mrs Harper,
the colored lecturer, mad an audience of only
four persons in Brunswick. Perhaps that pa
per will not be grieved to give notice that at
Waterville Mrs. Harper lectured to full house
of the best class of our citizens, and at the
close of the lecture there was liberal contribu-
ton. 1t may also add, that it was the judg-
ment of her audience that few women of light
err complexion could hold an audience with bet
ter eloquence or sounder reason, or tangle the
democracy of the Post stamp with tougher ar
gument.-[Waterville Mall
GY- The Ellsworth american says that Mrs.
Oliver Paine, aged 65 years, has spun 236 skeins
of yarn and woven 236 yards of cloth, the past
year, besides doing a large amount of other
work. few -f,s.r.fer esf 4rr
yg- The Journal says the ruling price of the
first quality of green hard wood in Augusta, is
$3.50 per cord. "a 50
EY- What is the difference between piece
of honey-comb and black eye? One is pro-
dueed by the laboring bee, and the other by a
belaboring GE NosEs aaer.r,s
gg- What is the difference between accept
ed and rejected lovers /? The accepted kisses
the misses, and the rejected misses the kisses
l. EB- Which is the most wonderful animal in
a farm-yard? A pig, because he is killed first
and cured afterwards.
E~ What portion of the trimming of la
dy's dress resembles East India sherry of the
best quality {? That which goes round the
cape -1]4 ~ .ayf tss- Atf
g- Why must an analytical chemist be
female :? Because if he's not an an.lyzer (Ann
| Eliza) he must be a charlatan Charlotte Ami
EY- What is the difference between a spider
and duck? One has its feet perpetually on
a web, and the other web perpetually on its
feet.
| G An exchange says if traveller by rail-
| way wishes to know the rate of speed at which
he is going, he has merely to take out his watch
and count the telegraph pos as he passes.
The number of posts passed in one minute and
fifty seconds will indicate the number of miles
per hour the train is moving This, of course,
is based on the assumption that the posts are
placed at ten rods interval, which is said to be
commonly the case. aal n-a evils
EY- Molly" said Joe Kelly's ghost to his
| wife, I'm in purgatory at this present" says
| he. And what sort of place is it ?" says she
Fax, says he, tbs sort of halfway house
between you and heaven; and stand it mighty
aisy after LAYING you" ' 20
| Vs. "Sir" said one man to another who hes
itated about beneftting himself at the expense
of the reputation of certain individual, de-
|
and almost the utter opposite of Christian,
though you say you believe in heaven. Why
do you hesitate then, in matter like this ?"--
Because, sir" was the grave reply, "the late
Mr.. though peaceful man, hated any
thing sneaking; and fear that if should take
advantage of his death, might meet him in
heaven, and he'd lick me like blazes." -
/ eB" The hearing on the motion for new
trial in the case of Commonwealth as. f. o. j.
| Smith, in the Superior Court at Boston, has
been assigned for Saturday next, 9th instant
In reply to an inquiry made by the district at
torney, the judge said that the motion could
not be entertained unless the defendant was
present in person.
4 By- The City Council of Georgetown, D. c.,
by four-fifths vote, has elected as Town Sur
veyor returned rebel who has not yet been
1 pardoned. -rrerc0 ar.-s r.--rr-,-f -HrF
Vs. A New York letter writer says that the
Bound Table has about paid expenses thus far,
and that the Nation has been loss to its pro-
prietors of about $8,000 He estimates the
profits of the Herald for the past year at about
100000. }d 's9i aa
gY- A ship captain was recently discharged
from his commission in Liverpool for being
drunk one hundred and ten consecutive days
EB- What does telegraph operator do when
be receives the heads of important news p
Waits for de tails, of course.-[B Bangor Wing. n
DY- At Keene, N. H., Sunday morning, 14th
inst young man named Timothy Hadley was
found frozen to death in the door-yard of his
/ Ey- The house formerly occupied by Daniel
Webster at Boston, is now filled with Irish fam
lilies; block of stores stands where Rufus
/ Choate lived, and the residences of the late
DR.. rockingham and Edward Everett are to
be demolished to make way for blocks of build
| ings for trade purposes
Vs. Secretary Stanton dismissed quarter
masters clerk, named Jones, on Wednesday, for
saying, II am not in favor of decapitation, but
I would like to see Sumner sent to his long
home"
G- The Boston Advertiser charges the Post
of that city with printing interesting para
graphs from the general dispatches of the As
ISOLATED Press, as special dispatches" thus
giving the impression of extensive enterprise.
Great is the realm of humbug.
Vs. Within few months past, the Inspect
or of Weights and Measures in Albany has
confscated no less than one hundred and eleven
sets of false scales used by farmers and butch
ers at the markets in that city.
| fHha FOREIGN MISCELLANY. IF &
Three grand Italian projects are reported