The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1866-07-30
THE COURTING MAN.
Nature, habits and mode OF existence
OF this extraordlnnry animal, from
the RiehmOnd DIspateh.


OF this extraordinary animal, from
the Richmond Dispatch.
This siugularly amusing and won.
drously eccentric biped is not confined
ito any particular CLINE, but whether in
Nova Zembla or Tasmania, Otaheite OF
Virginia, his salient characteristics
habits, and customs are very much the
same. Neither time nor circumstance
makes any great change in his appear,
ance or plan of operations, and whether
his dainty face is polished with blubbeI
In the north, with palm oil in the south
or his languid frame hung with the fr-
| reproachable garments of civilization
in the west. he bears certain marks
which point him out as widely different
from the rest of the brute creation.
In Virginia at least, the perfect Hcourt-
| ing man" must possess many natural
and acquired graees. He must have an
average degree of personal pulchritude,
| he must know how to dress with taste
and discretion, he must be moderately
/ thorough knowledge of the world, men
and manners. One cardinal rule must
guide his life: He must ever Court
but never "marry," for the "courting
MANI who is SO false to his creed as to
be honorable and true, has lost forever
the respect and admiration of his COM
peers. 4 'aH iihi+ zEEE1
/ AhO uOL Ol1y HtuNGd
love, but manufactures it to order, and,
as he is never in love himself, and can
always keep his head cool though his
words are never so warm, he has ter
rible advantage over such rivals as may
be less prudent, but more honest, than
himself His grand idea is to r"court''
every pretty girl that he meets. He
believes that a little sense a little pru-
dence, great deal of patience, and a
determination not to be foiled, will en-
able him to win any woman between
Virginia and Kamschatka; and when
the deluded one is fairly smitten, he
shows his glistening teeth, washes his
snowy hands, and glideS away, in pol
ished boots, to seek another victim.
The means at the command of the
courting man are many and various,
and his campaign is conducted with an
ability that is only taught by long eX-
Eperience.z When first presented to the
intended "victim" he speaks to her
with courteous Difference which is the
sweetest homage that can be laid at the
feet of woman. Adulation in words he
never practices; he compliments by
what he does rather than by what
he says. From the first moment of
his acquaintance he refrains from speak
ing upon commonplace topics, and
quotes poetry or prose with an air of
modest difhdence that says: "Of course
you knew all this before-correct me II
you pleased" The speculative Shelley,
the.lnxurious Keats, the Kaleidoscope
Byron, and ever graceful Sucking and
rare Ben johnson are at his tongues
end, and he repeats their choicest pas
sageSin soft and dulcet tone that adds
to the music of their verse and the ten
derness of the poets thought. "Yictim"
is tired and wearied of talking of war
and the weather, of lost. battles and in
decisive engagements, and the court
ing mans" remarks naturally, tickle
and interest her. The first stone is
thus laid in the temple of admiration
and one-sided love! A morning visit
then follows, and the "courting man"
then takes another step. y He knows
that women are so awfully guileless
and unsuspecting that they will have
no suspicion of distrust, and as he has
several courses are before him. "A true
woman does not wish new acquafnt-
ance to talk eternally about herself;
but she is always open to an appeal to
the generosity and nobility other char
acter.l Her mind has thous-
and sounding chords, but the harmo
nious vibrations of the chord of "pity"
is the most powerful of them all; and
she is SO conscious of herown power
that she never hesitateS to give any
counsel or assistance that may be de-
manded of her. This the 'courting
man. knows of old; and he knows also
that the chord of E'pity'' is the best that
he canplay. He espeaks to the ''Victim"
of his aimless, useless existence, and
tells her that all his modest talents have
been wasted for want of a definite OBJ.
ject or purpose. "For myself" says he,
''I have no ambition, and 1 have not
yet found the woman who cares
success" he says that he is
6IGse, disgusted with everything
and every body (although, in all proba-
bility, he has never been beyond the
limits of the State of Virginia except in
war, and processes general contempt
for this "deliciously wicked world"
The sympathies of the victim" are
aroused; she Erieves over knowledge
lost and ability run to seed; allows the
courting man to call her ''sister;"
thinks that she is sister TO him, par
ticularly ifshe has no strong and mus
cular brother; and SO ends the first act
in the melancholy drama. The man is
thoroughly aroused, he phys the "vic-
tim" with fncessant attention, watches
the blush upon her cheek as he whis-
pers in her ear words of "fraternal," :"
afectionj gains her implicit confidence,
and then quietly says "good morning,
fair friend" pulls the string, rings the
bell. and repeats his performance with
an entire change of caste. t!f5tf,l
Another admirable plan is the "Guar-
dian Angel" business, which properly
managed, has never been known to
fail. In this case the "courting man"
tells "victim" all his troubles and
errors SO candidly that they seem al.
most virtues, and accuses himself of
many an error, that she. may have the
pleasure of hearing his confession and
granting him forgiveness. Nor will he
fail to make some tremendous" sac
ritice before his angels" shrine. he
will profess morbid fondness for
juleps and cocktails, or VOW that he
cannot live without his beloved pipe,
and then offer to give up one or all for
can safely do this, for it will not be for
long. Then will he speak to her of the
sanctity of love, and say er
al touch her as my beads, with deyout care.
And dgounto my courtship as my prayer
all of which he does notl Then he will
tell her that her influence has saved
him from sin and shame, has made him
better and purer man, and has purged
the follies from his mind. He will
hint at a perfect union of sympathy and
feeling, will speak Indirectly Of matrf-
and when old Time, With rage transported,
Snail seek to rob us of our Joys,
You in your girls will again be courted,
And I'll go wooing with my boys"
Whichhe never will; and SO the curtain
falls. 'I%
A week or a month may see the end
of these sudden attachments, and thew
are so particularly described that the
innocent young damsel of 1865 may
have her eyes open and ears closed
when the 1courting MANI Is again on
the war-pRth. Catch him in his own
trap, young ladies; show him that you
are as acute as he is, and a hundred