The Van Buren press., 1866-11-09


deep, will contaiu ,ne bushe, or 2l5Ol cubic
inches. 81 O ana 81 F.r..
Abox, Soy 81 inches square and s inches
deep, will contain one peek, or 5376 cubic inches
Abox. by inches square, and As inches
deep, will contain ahalf-gallon, or 1914 cubic
inches. f.I
\ box, by inches square, and I.2 inches
deep, will contain one quart, or 6i.2 Cable inch cs.
"A Southern gentleman, putting up
at the New York Hotel. the other day met
on Broadway one of his former chattels,
who. during war, had taken a prolonged
fuilough for an indefinite period, and had
not returned his former residence in the
sunny South. Julius was all dressed up
in snuii,colored pants. white vest, blue
coat with brass buttons, and purple kid
gloves, swinging his little cane as grace
fully as anyot the Broadway dandics.-
-"Wcll, Julius said the gentleman, "what
are you doing up here" "Well. msssa, l
lives at de norf at present, in de metropolis
of de norf; has a position as head man at
de hotel.' "What nre you doing at the
hmtsi --waiter?' "No sab, no waitah; | re
gob'a big thing in a hotel in Fulton street.
indie summer season bites dc com from
, dc oobs for succotaSh, and in de winter
. time thcws dc cold meat for hash'
"A man met a big Indian on the
! plains few days ago. The gentle savage
had large bundle Of scalps, and the white
3 man made bold to ask him what he had
been doing. "Heughl" said the noble red
rman, me been skirmishing for waterfalls"
HAS your sister got son or daugh-
;ter?' asked son Of Erin. Upon my
-aife," was the reply, 81 don't know wheth.
'aer I'm an aunt OF an uncle
An Ilishman having been told that
the price oflrcad had fallen, exclaimed:
"lhis is the first time liver rejiced at the
fall OF my best fricud.'
- 1t is not often that we find hasty
people willing to make the amende hon
orahle as was the individual mentioned in
thefolowng anecdote. A punctilious re.
gard for the truth is highly to be common
ded, and below w0 find nice sense of hon
or on one SIDE with a still nicer nicely on
the other. .NrF
Aman said of virago with loud mas
culine voice Confound that woman's
throttle her voice will reach the ith sto-
ry Of my house." vs
rhe woman hearing Of the remark insis-
ted that her husband should call on the
man, aud demand either a reraction or an
apology, and il the man would do neither,
the husband was to chastise him. .Jbsf
Husband" Sir, / am informed that
yousay my wife's voice is so loud and
masculine, it will reach the fifth story of
any building. Did you, OF did you not
not make that scandalous assertion,?' at
the same time holding a whip significantly
Man" Well, my dear sir can't say
positively. might, upon the impulse of
the moment, and rather think l did say,
five stories. Perhaps, it is an exaggera-
tion. 1t is pushing the thing too far ad
NIT. am willing, sir, now that | am
cooler. to take oil one story, but not anotlt
er brick. y
When Brownlow was addressing
the Radicals at the Erie (Pa.) Depot, on
his. Westward tour, he tainted A skunk
can endure its terrible fragrance; crow de-
lights in carrion, but the stink of Brown
low was too much for Brownow. Ye gods,
but it must be terriblel What would
make aim faint would kill the DEVIL No
wonder tha. the latter has not sent from
his dominions for the miserable tennessee
blackguard. He'll wants to be pierced for
two or three million ventilators before
Brownlow enters into the kingdom of Lu.
eifer.--La Crosse Democrat.
-"Tommy, my son. what are yor
going toido with that club?' "Scnd il tc
the editor, of course" "But what ar,
you going to send il to the editor ior?"--
Cause he says ii any one will send him
club, he viii send copy Of his paper
The mother came pretty near fainting, bu
retained consciousness to ask, "But. Tom
my, dear, wlist 40 you suppose ho want
with n cub?" "Well. don't KIN ow. re
piled tho hopeful urchin, unless it is t,
knock dowa subscribers as don't pay"