Raftsman's journal. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1854-1948, 1866-12-19
UNCLE zAOHARIAH's OoURTsHIP
Or.Widow Julip and the Woodohuck.

Or.Widow Julip and the Woodohuck.
T. was dark, stormy night-dark as the
ace of spades-and the rain was beating
rscnlar tattoo against the window panes OF
AN old. hall. crazy shell of tavern. wherein
y number of us, way worn, dIrt-bespattered
travellers were seated around the fire, got
nm expressly for the occasion by our land
lord. who. if not as corpuient as Faistaff,
vas, to say the least as Jolly, and endeavored
TO the best OF his ability TO make Us merry
ty making rum punches.
Now. reader, / am not drinking man
oh, no, not by any Ineans-but then L do
take Il drop sometimes, when am travelling
Just to keep off the fever and ague, you
understand and as the night in question
was damp and chilly, and as every, hing was
ather free, why, niuybe did take little
more than was usual with me on such occa
sions, as in fact presume the most OF my
companions did.
Nv companions for the night were a
strange medley of Dutch, Irish, Hoosier
and Yankee what | myself am, l leave for
you to guess We had taken horn or two
round, and had just begun to feel, as Pat
said, like wee bit ov a row, when the
Yankee proposed that each should relate a
story of some kind, in order as he said, TO
let the evening slide right down jist as slick
az the Ticker" No sooner had the PROPOSE
ton been made, than "a story story
resounded on all sides-the landlord timing
in to bring up the rear-and OF course, as
the Yankee had proposed, he was the prop
er one to set the example. 80 getting our
tumblers once more replenished, we spread
ourselves around the table, lit our cigars,
tthe Dutchman smoked pipe,) and then
~. hot strer
Wal" returned he taking sip at the
punch and throwing himself back in his
chair-(an he was a mighty long man, and
mighty thin one, and had rather peaked
face, sharp nose, large mouth, and small,
laughing grey eyes wal, / guess IN jest
about as ready rs any of We, So
''WeIl, be jabers don t be afther maxim
them preliminaries Misther Yankee, and
don't be afther Citing thrunk till ye We
tould the storyl' interrupted Pat, who had
just enough liquor in him to make HIM feel
consequential.
''Yaw, dat ish right--dat ish goot
chimed in the Dutchman.
Hold your tongues, you tarnel-'
'"rhe story the story - cried |.
''Whoop the story, be jabers - said Pat.
"iaw, dat ish right = went the Dutch
man.
The Yankee scratched his head and then
commenced:
"Wal, you see, gentlemen, my name is
Lcbediah-Zebediah Tucker Is the whole
on,t-wal, ye see, l have an uncle, and his n
is Zachariah-they call him Lack-he' S a
curious kind o chap, guess, as ever you
see he wouldn't no more mind lickin' a
man than nothing and he's tarnel big, tew,
Jest round the waist and he $ as heavy as
a log of maple with the sap mt; and he
as strong as a bull calf; and he S great
chap, | tell ye.
Wal, We see, my uncle's an old bach OF
forty, who never got married, cause he was
either too bashful, or else cause he couldn
git nobody to have him, which is jest about
as bad. know he'd like to git married
the tarnel critter-cause he's alters casting
sleeps eyes at every gal he sees, land kinder
edgin' up to her side ways, like.
Wal, ye see, my uncle lives in the neigh
borhood of Swampdown-a mighty slick
place, tew, | tell ye-rear Runtast Mill,
right in the holler. There ain't many gals
there now, cause the young iellers kept a
Courtin' and marryin on EN- off all the time,
50 that the place is rooty much thinned out
and what is left on em are mighty scary ike,
SO that feller don't t stand much sight OF
catchin one, unless he can put gold bait
on his hook, which ain quite easy to do IN
these ere times, you know. Bout hve years
ago, there cum widder there, from some
place way down near Stonypint-a real slick,
ouxom widder, she was tew, tell ye-but
as spiteful, when she got mad, as an old hen
with chickens Some folks said she q run
away from her husband; but don be-
ileye it-cause she Wa MT the critter to run
away from any man; and some said she
hadn never been married; and there was
all sorts o stories about her, which she dldn
seem to mind no more nothing at all.
Wal, We see, bout two years ago come
haying time, Uncle Zack TUX notion into
his head that he'd go and see the widder
cause be kinder felt as if he oug hter ,ge
married, and all the gals round there nae
GIN him the sack. Now uncle Aack nae
poked his nose into my mess two or thTe'
times, and split courtin' for me, and SO L
made up my mind the fust time L got
chance I'd pay him off. And so when
found that uncle Zack was goin to se'
the widder, it tickled me amazing and say
l 10 myself. III pay you, old feller-lf
don't darn my buttonsf
Now, I'd heerd that the widow had ia
ken desperate liking to rabbits, but hates
woodchuck as bad as temperance MAJ
does to be caught drunk-which is tarne
bad you know-and so went to work an
studied up plan to fix 'em. le see, tn
reason the widder hated woodchucks was
cnll u. Gpp to- hal