The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1866-12-06


ing for dinner. u
| Cricket conundrum: What pasaage OF
Scripture proves that St. feAl - ,
crieketer9 "ytnd Paul stood W Doeocs
tho olevan and was bold.
/ "Ali Aosl, h grass sighcd epodoons
after dinner one day, AMI immsassv
added: "of all grasses give mo
( grass WIDOW .mm rw
! In E,lxa8ttt ~ j., the singh nee
are assessed one dollar more
than the married men. They ~ -
! eheerfally ~ tax on luxUriee.
Liberty will not descend 70 . psOpec
people mus, raisc themselves 70 ubertyi
| II Is u blessing that must be earned -
fore 1t can bc enjoyed.
II Is singular that the more you danp
the ardor of a troublesome talker W
| throwing cold wateron his efR,Dio0s, H.
sooner he dries up.
A little girl in school, being 0ked
wha. cataract or waterfall was, ssple4
that it was hair flowing over sonase1gt
she didn't know what.
Fortune tellers and fitting hoops cpee.s
ate differently. The former reveal whoe
tho lady will be in the future; the laeAsr
reveal what siAs il Mt present. -
There is one advantage In being =
blockheaa--ypu are never attacked with
low spirits o. apoplexy. The monnsnea
man can worry he ceases to be a fool.
Before ..lQya comcs Ina - the door," le
, - n ~ ~ ,,nns>
the key hole. He might sac son,sthing
that would prevent him from entering.
An old sailor at the theatre said he
supposed that the dancing girls worc
their.drcsses at half mast as u mark Of
respect for departed modesty.
There arc multitudcs of people who
destroy themselves through irresolution.
They are eternally telling about what
they mean to do, but they never do It.
\ rich Philadelphia contractor, in
severe fit ofgout, told his physician hs
suffered the pains of the damned. Tho
doctor coolly answered, What a.
ready?n
A widow said one day to her daugh.
ter, "whcn you are Of my age, you Will
be dreaming Of Il husband" Yes
mamo,' replied the young lady, "for the
second time.h
~ say, Brown, what close shaver
Jones il; why. he'll squabblc about
penny" well, what II he does?" said
Brown: "thc less one squabblcs about
the better"
A gentleman rode up to a public-house
in the country, and asked, "Who II mas
ter of this house," II am, SIR" replied
the landlord; "my wife has been dead
about three weeks -......... ..*.
One of the saddest things about hu-
man nature il, that man may guide
others in the path of life without walk
ing in II himself; that lac may be pilot,
and yet IA eastaway.
mind their cues, but church-wardens,
instead Of mindng their "p's' and "q's',
very often mind their pews and keys.
Misery assals riches as lightning does
the higcst towers: or as q tree that II
ncavy laden With fruit breaks II own
rs7 =" '"1 .,v's*g s'~ss"s-y 49, .-.--
! of their poascssor.
\ polite young lady recently asserted
that she had lived near "A barnyard, and
that ii was impossible for her TO sleep In
j the morning--on account Of the outcry
made hy gentleman hen.
! That young man to whom 1.-THE world
owes living" haa just beer turned out
of doors--thc landlord not being willing
/ to take the iaaeb.e dness Of the world on
| his own shoulders.
The last ense of Incidence II that Of .
man named John Hole, who was 80 IA
~ that In writing his name, he simply
used the letter j snd then punched .
hole through the paper.