The Carolina Spartan. [volume] (Spartanburg, S.C.) 1852-1896, 1866-06-07
From the LaCross (wisconsin) Democrat.
A Political Generals SolilOouy

a EOuSACsal Oencr8l'0 SOIllOOuy.
Whi.r-rr?
How like a rocket l went up, terrifying
the innocent.
Spat!
How like stick falling in the mud did
come down!
When the rebellion began, did not
amount to enough to add up and give one
to carry. l was a sort of second rate
loafer, begging tobacco, standing around
saloons and bar-rooms, waiting to be treat.
ed by liberal strangers. l had no clean
stockings-no neat home-no money saved
no crcdit-no fine food, aud but little
coarse. But suddenly star tell !" Brave
men were wanted--I had peddled whiskey
ut the polls to elect men ON the God and
morality, retrenchment. aud-reform ticket
Il could tell bigger lie and stick to it
closer than any hungry politician in the
country, and the late administration-no-
BILE Observation-Disclosures me rich reward.
l was made a captain, and like a blue
tailed bottle-fy l stru.ted about my ma.
tive town.
Guess wasn't oldstyle, in white gloves,
and stripes up my legs. Guess l didn't
support the Government Reckon didn't
get trusted to little things at stores, and
when man wouldn't trust me, guess |
wouldn't incite mobs on such Copperheads.
And was put in command of a hundred
men. Egad! that was joke. Why,
Lord bless you, didn't know as much
about war as dog knows of his grand
father--but l had political influence
could absorb large quantities of whiskey,
and could steal. Or like John Brown
Or like Butler. Or like any other house
robber.
And went to war. And l hired cor
Respondents to mention my brave exploits
In Republican papers. And stole wines
from hospitals, and treated my friends.
And | read army letters which l hired
written and which poor fools printed for
political friends. And kept out of the
way OF bullets and such-and 1 stole piles
OF houseb Did goods, from rat traps to pianos
from silk elastics to linen intended for
infants yet unborn, and SO on in the ewes
OF the late administration proved my fit
ness for higher position.
AND was made n Brigadier General
Big thing. Nearly every TOOL in the army
was Brigadier General While brave
men fought stole spoons and such While
other men were at war, was furnishing
Democrats, issuing petty orders, taking
toll from Union farmers, and sending
canes, chairs, tables, beds and bedding.
pictures, books, spoons, knives and forks,
nut crackers, glass and silver ware, mirrors,
siteboards, parlor ornaments, ladies' silks
and ladies' underclothes, stolen from pri.
vate drawers, trunks and bureaus, up North
at Government expense, to let people know
that was saving my salary to beautify my
home.
Cunning cuss
And denounced Democrats, thereby
winning promotion and good opiniens from
Republican papers. And spent my sal
airy for whiskey, except what went for
nothing now, not much at first. And |
went on raids, captured imaginary bands
of enemies, reported by the papers as real
And being an INSCRIPTIONS knave, intent
only on money, | was hired by the admin.
istration OF the late lamentcd to 20 up and
down the country tor and in behalf of ne.
groes-and Aboitionists-par nc bile ira
ruRl
And | sent Democrats to the front and
they were shot down like dogs, or dragged
back wounded to die in hospitals, or swear
allegiance to Abraham And | stuffed
election returns and | stole cotton where
ever it could be found mules ditto; Gov
ernment STORES, ditto; and other things,
ditto, till | became rich. And what a lot
of men who believed we were fighting to
subdue the rebellion. That was good
joke. Twas merely pleasant little mur.
derous crusade for cotton and negroes
the cotton for the rich, the negroes for the
poor tax payers to support.
The war was God send to me. 1t took
me from the gutter, or stool in some sa-
loon, and made great man of me 1t
lifted me by the Wristbands right up along.
side of Wellington, Napoleon, Alexander
Washington, Jackson, Grant, Sherman,
and,other great men. And didn't strut
And didn't | fall back upon my dignity ?
And didn't snub those whose servants
was-and win the contempt of every sen.
siblc man in the land Ami didn't negro
wenches fall in love with mtSY And didn't
l keep abandoned women at headquarters,
on money / stole from my bleeding coun.
try! To be sure l did Thpt was the
acme Of loyalty" That way known as
Lincoln patriotism. That style was the