Charles City intelligencer. [volume] (Charles City, Floyd County, Iowa) 1864-1866, 1866-03-08
NUMBER 10.

/ Dy three ladleS.
The laboratory was like all other dens
of that sort--rather Uttered up place,
and the ladies drew their skirts closely
around them and they picked their
way amid the jugs, bottles, jars and
crucibles that strewed the floor.
Good heavens u cried Mrs. links,
, there's dreadful spot on my new
| merino what shall do?
: "Oh never mind I" responded the
chemist =" it's only little nitric acid !!
Won't hurt you a bit !! We breathe
nitrogen every time we boil cabbage I
You can put patch on it so it won't
show speck. An admirer Of science
has to make some sacrifices"
"Oh mercy !" cried Miss Stelle--
" what a-terrible odor
Some of my gases, my dear mad
am--now then, you see the beauty of
MY experiment See if it don't make
your head whirl I"
i He turned screw in some compIi-
Gated machine, and the whole place
was filled with BLUSH green vapor.
and report followed that seemed to
! spit the SOLID globe.
Merciful gracious |" yelled Miss
Stelle clapping her hands to her ears
he must be the evil one himself = and
forgetting her admiration of science
she turned to flee. In her fight she
knocked down huge glass jar and
overturned several bottles, and stew
pans.
Jupiter Jinks !" cried Mr.. Drown,
rushing forward, she has upset my
pet rattlesnake ! I'd rather have Civ
en- hundred dollars ~
Rattlesnake !" screamed Mrs.
Kinks jumping frantically about amid
the ruins of the bottles and things"
"rattlcsnakes oh goodness gracious
Save me, Mr.. Drown !" and she flew
at the astonished man, and seizing him
around the neck nearly choked the
life out of him.
Creation !" cried the chemist,
"who ever saw the like OF il ! What
ails the womon? Take her away, Mrs.
Pike, oh that's q dear good lady
i aint used to it, and | feel little
faint And it's almost time for Mr..
Kinks to come He'd think was "a
bad character Do take her away 1"
| But Mrs. links had swooned, and
when Mrs. Pike attempted to remove
her, she fell down in heap on the
floor.
Good heavens J" calculated Drown
I"l have killed her | shall be hung -
and he seized bottle which he Thought
contained camphor, but which contain
ed instead nitrate of silver, and pour
ed the contents in her face. She re-
covered, but she was black as a negro
for the next two weeks, and poor Mr..
Drown paid her two hundred dollars
damages.
One afternoon, the sewing society
met at Mrs Pixies. The parlor was cx-
actly over the room where Mr.. Drown
made his experiments, and it was well
filled with the pious portion of Broad
boro, on the afternoon in question.
All the good folks We're there. Par
son King and his wife, and Miss Abra
Cole, the most sanctimoniously long
faced female in existence Miss Stelle,
: Mrs. links, and score OF others with
, whom we have nothing to do. The
parson, as usual, was conversing on
I serious topics, to his attentive audi
/ ence.
/ my friends" said he, :" have Of
ten thought that if the hast trump
) should sound at any moment, it would
5 not find me unprepared for the sum-
{ mons ! think | should be just as
/ calm as | am at this instant-well sat-
: isfied that with me there there was
p nothing to fear Z"
His hearers drew long breath Of
: admiration, and the parson was
; Strengthening himself for another eff
fort, when deafening explosion rent
, the air, the floor beneath his feet was
. shivered to splinters--the glass wiL-
. dows went up like rockets, and a sui
q phurous smoke poured up through eve
u ry nook and Granny Of the shattered
floor.
). GOOD Lord !" screamed the parrssas....
: -springinG to the window" it's
/ come !" and with one leap he precipi
/ tated himself TO the ground below,
: alighting on his head in a rain water
cistern In moment, however, he
;. recovered his feet, and straightel
@ pair of coat-tails never was seen than
J. his, as he scudded for the barn where
he crept into the hay NOW and awaited
h further deaOuemeatS.
Mrs links got under the bed Miss
y S;ellc rushed into the arms of old Jede
diah Jenkins, who had jealous wife
&c and Mrs. jenkins, notwithstanding he
n fright, was not too far gone to see tn,
l. action, and pulled all Miss Stclle'
hair off, and scratched her face, in con
&c sequence
Miss Abra Cole made for the door
e but owing to the smoke her aim was
It not correct, and she ran full agains
i Mr.. Spriggns, the butcher, who hat
lust got the door open 10 hee. Tn
lie sudden attack threw him over-th,
ID door was at the head of the stairs
5, and away they went, bumpity bum
is to the bottom, which they reached jus
st as Mr.. Drown rushed out of his room
That gentlcman's coat was blow
e entirely off his back, his pantaloon
d hung in taters his face was black a
IA coal, and his hair was burnt from hi
IS head, leaving it bare as a peeled squasl
n "lt was splendid experiment |!
of cried he, rubbing his hands, "mos
is splendid How did you like it?
of Like it?" cried Mrs. Pike, like
h. indeed! You've nearly blown IL
- house down! What have you bee
doing?'
~ "Only experimenting little vii
gunpowder in the furnace. 1t We
Ill splendid Demonstrated the truth
IN my theory fully I! knew was eorrec
II, Delightful wasn't itg"
n She seized the broom from behil
IN the door, and brandished it in the a
SIS The widows temper was up.
ed Mr.. Drown" said she "Pve do