The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1866-10-20
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the same position frem which he had
started first. Calino was once on an ex-
cursion where lodgings were scarce, and
in looking about for a pillow, found a
large stone jar, on which he laid his
head very contentedly. Some one in
quired of him if it was not rather hard
" Not Mt all, said he, "for I've stuffed
it with hay"
1t was wise saying of his that
Providence had placed death at tho
end of life in order to give people time
to prepare for it," One day friend
took knife from him in joke, and ,
saying "thank YOU" put it in his peck
ct. Come" said Cnlino, "if you
don't give me back that knife, I'll rip
; you up with it,"
Some stories are told, also, of the Abbc
de Matignon which have been appro-
priated for the Irish. When the Able
was at the house of his uncle, the Bish-
op of Lisieux, he was shown the cathe-
dral, and his guide told him it was
built by the English. "Ah," said he,
with contempt, 90 could easily tell it
was not made here"
Madame de Froulay asked him how
old he WAS. "Why, I am only thirty
two" said he, "but count myself thir-
ty-thrcc, because Il little hoy was born a
year before was, and dicd-evidcntly
keeping me back whole year by acci-
dent"
When his sister-in-aw had her first
child he could not tell friend its sex,
"becaus2," said he, "the child ma de
= such noise that positively am unable
r to say whether | am an aunt or an un-
clc."
That will do very we'll for the French;
and there are surely enough stories OF
German blunders in speech to prove
that our Tcutonic friends possess in q
G peculiar degree the faculty supposed &c
; be exclusively Irish. "IMsht Friday
i night, next week vot is bchint," said
one, "vash the worst that nercr wash.
5 fought co town hill to mine house
= ven no sooner | walks den stand still
y all de vastcr, for de darkness so tick
y can't stir it NIT my boots; an ven scc
q mine hant right pcfore mine face,
e can't tell it's dcrc; an de rain, dundc
u an bliXen! in more as tree minute min,
l. skin vas vet trough to mine clos. Pu
l. after Won lcetlc vile it stop quittin' t
II rain something, so ! keep feeling my
e self all de way long, am ven | comes t,
e. mine own house to walk in, vat yo
he tink? dundcr and bliXcn, him belon
n to somepody else" An Irishmal
re could scarcely improve that.
~ Whenever the paternity of bull i
IL uncertain an attempt is made to fathe
/ it on some unfortunate Emeraldcr. Tc
- it was a ScotchwOman who said tina
10 the butcher of her town only killc
u, :, half beast at a time; it was a Dutch
~ man who said pig had no ear-marli
- except short tail and it was a BIRTHS
- magistrate who, being told by Il Yagt
=" bond that he was not married, respond
v ed " that's good thing for your wife,
u It was an English reporter who state
1t that ut meeting Of the British Ethnc
logical Society there were eXhihite
~ "casts of the skull of an individual a
" different periods of adult life,
~ show the changes produced in tc
. years." though Dean Swift mention
u two skulls preserved in Ireland, one {
= person when he was Il boy, and tn
!" other of the same person when he hA
C' grown to be man. y reporter to Il,
y Hcr0H wrote in that paper, some year
III ago, that lecturer At the Academy c
~ Music practically illustrated the mar
''' ncr in which fly walks on the ceiling.
w 1t was at Il praycr-mceting in NcN
' Hampshire that worthy layman spok
It of n poor boy whose father was
cI drunkard and whose mother was
III widow; and it was at a negro ball tha
H. in lieu of Not transferable" on IL
III tickets, notice WAS posted over I'll
door, " No gentleman admitted unle
DC he comes hisSrif." 1t was an Amer
Is can lecturer who solcmnly said OF
1t evening: Parents, you may have chi
Is dren, or, if you have not, your daug'
n, ter, NAV have" And it was n WCstel
e. editor who wrote: y corresponds
II" asks whether the battle of Waterloo q
ST. cured before or after the commenC
ment of the Christian era. We answ
~ it did"
la A Maine editor says pumpkin
er that State grew 50 large that eight M
nj could stand around it; which -tateme
was only elualIcd by that of the mi
ch who saw Il Aock of pigeons fly 50 lc
Is that he could shake stick at thcl
on Those two observing men, one of who
he said he noticed that when he liv
to through the month of May he liV
a'' through the year, and the other of WhC
oi said at IA wedding that he had remark
I a that more women than men had be
1ld married that year, were neither Of the
ar Irishmen. When Sir Boyle Roche {
the claimed: 81 would give up half-na
yer the whole-Of the Constitution to pl
serve the remainder" he only follow
no, the analogy ofthat juvenilcpoem viii
III" states that
Three cal,lrcu all a-Sliling went,
h'~ "rya, ON q summer day;
zen The icr va, thin they all fell in
The rest they ram away
ocs Even John c. Calhoun, once, in
lcn forcing tho theory that all men /
ned not created equal. remarked that " OF
my two men were created, and one Of tn
,nv was q woman :" and President TaYlu