Des Arc citizen., 1866-06-30
THE DOG G0NDEST BOG.
BY BRICK pOMERoY.

Durn the dorg There goes three by five pane of glass out of the door, and there goes the cussedest and wussedest piece of exciteable canine we ever saw :. Four years ago, the day after a chap on the cars had the upper part of his snute punched for calling us a traitor, Pc Hutcher gave us that red and brIndle batch of a dog, then done up smart like, but looking so bull doggish that we were afraid of his picture for week Pc. said he was an Alabama bull dog, imported from New Jersey in basket, as g sample of the handsome of that country. But he was pretty purp. His tail was no longer than wicked mans prayer, and was full as stunnin! And those ears They looked like small corner of plug tobacco And such eyes! And such eyebrows When he was but q child, so-called some monster must have slung him first against a stonewall, for his eyelids looked like Ben Buffers sort Q shamed of something! His jaws were pretty jaws They were so SC we're in their angles-there was so much jaw in proportion to the purp that he wanted to call him Swisshelm, but he wasn't that kind of a pet. But he was nigh onto all jaw.
 We kept him four weeks in the sane tum, and all that time hired nigger to watch him. He'd steal-steal is no name for it. So we concluded to cal him John Brown. And he kept the nigger mighty busy watching him, till at last the nigger being such smart, mimicky, educational cuss, got so much worse nor the dog, that we kept the dog to watch the niggcr. Egsd wasntit a full team? Strange how niggers will learn things.
 And he was the hungriest dog we ever saw. A penny worth of beef didn't last him as long as ten dollar bill would a Democrat the night before an election. He had fine voice for beef And what the dog would not eat the nigger would. And the dog grew large and ponderous about the jaws. He used to eat papers, books, mats, vests, old hats. gloves, patent leather boots, window curtains and sich. He ate such stuff for desert. That dog ate full calf-bound set of Harper's W eekly one day just on account of the calf. And he ate ten copies of the Chicago Tribune one day but the lies in them papers made him SC dogoned sick all that week, that he would have died if the nigger in em hadn em- ticked em out and so he got we'll But he never pined himself to shadow hank ering after Republican newspapers any more And he kept on stealing. We al ways thought them Republican newspapers aided in the development of that com plaint, for he was sure to steal all the nig- ger earned for us.
 He'd walk out on rainy day for his health and always come back with some, thing he had found Once it was a lady $ veil. Then it was halt ham, with 3 butcheIs knife sticking in it. What he wanted to bring the knife with him for is more than we know, unless he had to cut and run. One day he came in with ba bys cradle There was some blood on the edge of it, and all that afternoon the man WIS out ringing bell and yelling "boy lostl" John Brown didn't go out for tive or three days. Once he came in with : wooden leg in his teeth. That night 3 wooden legged soldier was missing, but as cripple soldiers were of no account, he didn't try to keep shy bit He brought us the leg no doubt thinking 1t the kind of club we like for the La Crosse Demo crat. And he used to find moneyl He'd go into store and snatch greenbacks out of a cash drawer just as handy One day he came in with contribution box he'd stolen from the entry way of close com munion church.
 He carried the box behind the end o the sideboard, broke it open-and looked sick John Brown never stole contri button box again, and after that, wher we'd point to that box and smile, he droI his tail, what there was of it, and look like Ben Butler does when having his picture taken! And he'd steal halters, brides saddles and such stuff. And as he grew older, he'd actually unhitch horse anC