The Iowa transcript. (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1858-1866, 1866-05-09
Tho Darris tiers Wig.

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Tho Darrister's wig.
"The wisdom is in the wig" is q yer,
common proverb, and, like most of the com
mon proverbs, doubtless contains a consid
cradle amount OF truth. To prove this, the
reader has only to attend one Of our Law
courts for day or two, and he will then
hear opinions carrying great weight with
them, which, II uttered out of court, and BY
an Individual in private dress, would be
thought very commonplace indeed. But
not only is there great amount Of wisdom
IN the wig. but great amount of wit and
humor as we'll; or, how should we read in
the newspapers Of the mirth ELECTED at our
trials by the very dull jokes occasionally
uttered by the members Of the bar? We
read in the Reports, Of q barrister who said
''He would rather not answer that question
% laugh). Another will say, mo, thank
you" (srcat laughter). .Thaak you, /
au not TO be caught in that way" there
the court was convulsed with laughter for
some minutes, in which the learned Judge
Joined heartily Now out OF court, I'll
these saying seems powerless enough, but
In court their humor appears to be irresist-
ible.
Although it has long been favorite idea
with me, that there is occasionally more wit
and humor in the wig than in the individu-
al wearing it. it is only lately that have
been convinced Of the fact. Possibly may
be accused, and with justice, OF putting a
little acrimony in the statement OF my opin.
ION for was lately in the witness box for
more than an hour, the butt of barrister
with witty wig.
am surgeon in considerable practice
IN large country town, and was subpoe
paed to give evidence in an assault case, in
which the plaintiff was my patient for some
time, in consequence Of the injuries be had
received. As the plaintiff, and old farmer
was half drunk at the time of the assault
(he had been dining with some other far
mers Of his acquaintance after the market
was ovcr). it was. naturally, the policy of
the counsel for the defence to prove that he
was thoroughly intoxicated, and that the
injuries he had received arose from his own
helpless condition. OF course, if he could
break down the medical evidence it would
mitigate his clients cause greatly, if no.
completely exoneratc him from blame.
attended al the court on the appointed
day, and was sworn. mounted the wit
ness-box with feeling somewhat akin to
awe Mt the so!emnity Of the oath had
taken, and with a resolution conscientiously
to speak the strict truth in all things.
My evidence in favor Of the prosecution
went of smoothly enough, and, TO tell the
honest truth | felt somewhat proud Of it.
Then the cross-examination began. Here
great change took place. The counsel for
the defence had tho reputation Of being
wag, and soon found my position change
from that Of . grave scientific witness into
the Jack Pudding Of the court. The amount
Of mirth the counsel con,rivcd to elliott
from my evidence was astonishing; yet, for
the life of me, could see no subject for
jesting whatever. lie inquired in what
manner made the distinction tween hav-
Ing drunk little too much and being trunk;
what amount Of beer, or wine, or spirit
considered would have the effect Of knock
ing man down. and many other questions
Of the same description. Seeing every body
laughing. ! began to think possibly did
not give my answers carefully enough; the
strong within me. therefore gave nv
replies more circumstantially. as | imagin-
cd: but the questions increased in facetious-
ness in consequence, and my answers caus-
cd more mirth than before then thought
that perhaps, In my serious mood, did not
appreciate sufficiently the wit Of the learn.
ed gentleman, and I paid great attention 10
his words in order to find ont in what their
humor consisted. But in vain. His ques-
tions appeared to me to be simply what n
vulgar parlance is called chatting, and moth
ing more. BY degrees got so much con-
fused that made very simpletcn of my
self, and contradicted my own statements
at least dozen times over. At last, when
ho had contrived to mako me neutralize
completely the truthful evidence had Civ
en- in my examination in chief, he allowed
me to leave the box and did SO under
the unpleasing Impression that had made
great fool Of myself.
left the court Immediately, and the trial
went on without me. q But in the evening, |
had the unpleasant intelligence that my
patient had lost his case, principally owing
TO the uncomplimentary remarks made by
the judge on my evidence, in his summing
mp. ,r
But the annoyance did not stop here.
The next day, not only the local papers,
but the London journals as well, had full
account Of the trial, in which figured in
BY no means hattering manner; There
was the usual parenthetical remarks, II The
cross-examination Of the witness elected
great mirth in the court); (The Judge GOULD
with difficulty maintain his gravity !;
lGreat laughter, which the ushers had much
difficulty in rcpressiug); aud many 0. her ex-
presslono Of the same kind. AT first I was
naturally greatly annoyed It this, but in q
few days tho feeling wore off; still, it fire.
quently returned to my mind, and ON more
than ono occasion attempted TO aualvxe
the cause Of 30 much mirth arising from q
serious . subject, and with 80 little real Wit
On tho part Of tho harrister. At last q
vague suspicion arose in my mind that II
was due In great measure to the wig; but
how to prove my conclusion pushed me ex.
tremely. When | least expected it, how
ever, chance threw an opportunity in my
way.
One morning, on leaving my house, my
esssatoA va arrested by . long procession