The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1866-04-21
80 RArfE


Of lottesgs The lsttsr IS ofss1 very pleas
ant; but then il may b. notainz more OF
less than fln "a .oferatis torture ii nan car
escape 70 AS omusements or his business
iroEa the ii temper or nervous irrstabifity or
TuigarItT Of those aboutlsihl but 4 woman
bslsFe heT marriage, # her -ffieu5s.are y
tasteful to her, has not the fortunate rs-
4 scoaree Of Aight. She IS bonnd to sit by at
: hec. .cT9chet or hPr needle wprk. and listen
+ to everything and endure everything; and
is agitatcd meanwhile by the scraple that it
-i5 perhaps s}nie to let Herself feel how hate
fai, stupid or illtempered reIatiTsE may be.
/ When the home of m American GIRL Is not
q cheerful one the 0de3l usually fallson her
/ IT an age when she IS least Disposed TO bear
it Romance is the Inoral intoxication OF
I the young. and q life of Jars and wranpies
kappears fifty times more- reIsulsiYe to those
/ who are looking forward to, and beGeyingin.
I the possibility Of an Arcadia somewhere OF.
earth When the 6ntf bright Being, with
whom a girl dances as often D. she can, is
never, cross, 1t seems -hsird that other people
/ should be cross at breakfast the first thing
! ia the morning, and cross again at lunch,
ard cross again during the af6srn6on drive
/ Nothing u the world IS harder than to keep
/ ones sympatbies and affections alive when
| they are always being played upon on. every
/ trivial occasion; -end q domestic atmosphere
-of storms not merely destroys the harmony
and peace OF households, but ends by fak-
/ ing the marrow and life out of all the homo
sentiments of young people. Passion itself
survives daily wear and tear longer, under
4 these circumstances, than, mere friendship
and affection. Even "a homes of average
/ happiness, a man would feel less Yain-glori-
ous at tSe success of his wooing if he knew
/ from what he was about to set his future
wife free The old saying that parents are
! wiser than their ehddreH, Ia |chiefly
I true so tar as wisdom means. knowledge Of
/ of the world But whether parents are or
are not wiser than their grown up children,
/ tits tOleral5ly clear that they arc not always
nobler or better And though it may be
/ searching dIscIplIne for Q gushing young
/ creature of twenty or twenty-one to submit
to the ineessant rule Of those who are her
tinfeTiors in selfcontFels or in generosity and
unselfshness, tits not.a discipline that daily
I becomes more attractive. It is 10 credit to
the agent that up to a certain point it Is
4 wholesome for tie patient a great deal Of
/ The unselhshness and Considerations and tact
Of women is the result of long days. pent
IN humOring the moods, and noting the ca
/ prices and studying the tastes Of those with.
/ whom they have been thrown in contact dJ-
i ring their, ,glrlhood and their youth. Little
/ things at such q time make or mar the pre-.
/ earious sunshine of each day, and a6 a very
| early part of their life women thus begin to
/ learn to be delicate -taeticians aud diplomat.
! lists of no mean skill Hence comes. per
4 haps, their keen power Of observing and re
menbering trifies, not to mention their hab-
I It OF Judging of character from small out
/ ward peculiarlties. They bring themselves
i up to sit and watch. and speculate; and from
the manners and customs of the tame ami
1 mails that come across their path, they build
up their ideas as to the character and habits
| of the wild animals outside IN the world
E4Tr+f fh, y.ff r.,
the sufferer is impaired by the fact that the
/ discipline is not administered onsny regular
or rational system One can forgive or. even
i respect stern dIsciplInarians who make ono
] unhappy upon principle. But 1t is not so
easy to feel thankful for the annoyance in
hieted in some foolish outbreak of caprice,
\ or because somebody 5 temper is Affected by
/ a bad cold, or because some one has been
kept waiting by some one else in a shop.
The young woman who Is the victim Of it all
/ Is not taken IN by the specIous pretense that
this worrying IS for her good, and that the
irritable temper Of her relations Is designed.
4 BY Providence to teach her to put up with
irritable people. She is bound to put up
with them for the present, but She is not
bound to ike them the better for what she
! undergoes at their hands, and when the
/ hour of orange wreaths. arrives not the least
/ ofthe pleasures Ofthe occasion consists in the
fact that sheyIs making her escape Fortu-
nately for girls, domestic life means much
more than this. it is not, however, the less
I true that domestic life for those of them who
1 are most sensitive implies a good many lit
tie iFritationsJ and inyo!Tes no small patience
and endurance. s af 1f
But it is when Fe consider the case of
| married people that the theory of hapDy
families seem to break down the most com
I pletely. There IS a great deal to be said in
1 favor Of living on cbeerfully in the house
| where one has been reared, and putting up
with the faults and failings that have been
4 familiar to Us almost from our Infancy. Ia
! the first place, if natural instincts mean any
4 thing nature IS in favor Of it. Reason and
! duty certainly teach US the lesson, whether
| instinct IS silent on the point or not But
It Is not 50 easy to define the precise duty
men and women owe to those with whom
/ they have connected themselves by Inafriage.
ietua take the case Of a woman who mar
rles the man to whom she is attached She
/ takes him after s0me observation, or It may
be with some aecurat6 knowledge. Of his
+ tastes and dispositions But she does not
! take alEhis relatives, and bis aunts, aud his
/ cousins, for better and for worse also; nor
! does she promise 10 respect and love them,
/ except so far as they deserve il. Why is she
! bound to love and veneFate q set Of people
/ who, IN spite Of their worldly position, may
i be peeyish or ignoble, or mean That BY
/ Ier marriage she contracts certain duties to
ward them Il certain. She ought to respect
I the feelings Of her husband, and not ID give
! him pain OF anxiety in her relations giEli
/ his friends nor again, Sc 10 conduct her.
/ self as to create a coldness within the fanl.
/ ily circle which has hitherto been friendly.
and to which she thenceforEafdhas under
taken 70 belong. The converse may he said
Of the husband. lie endows her with al
his worldly goods, but he does not endosr
her with all his worldly uncIes and all his
worldly aunts, and does not agree to be en-
dowed with hers. Any such arrangement
would lot be merely unwise, but in nine
cases out OF ten, would be impracticable.
at the time when people marry, and especi-
ally when men marry, they have arrived at
an age when new friendships are not easily
made, and when difference Of education and
of tastes constitutes an insurmountable or
stacle wherever IL exists. The happy family
system ignores all this, and proceeds upoh
the assumption that admiration for beau
Asc - q.