Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1866-09-13
Three Jolly Husbands.

Three jolly husbands ont In the country,
by the names of Tim Watson, Joe Brown,
and Bill Walker, sat late one evening
drinking at the village cavern, until, being
pretty we'll corned, they agreed that each
one, on returning home should do the first
thing that his wife told him, in default of
which he should the next morning pay the
bill. They separated for the night, enga-
ging to meet again the next morning, and
give an honest account of their proceedings
at home, 80 far as they related to the bill.
The next morning Walker and Brown
were early at their posts, but it was some
time before Watson made his appearance.
Walker began first.
"You see, when I entered my house the
candle was out, and the fire gave but a
glimmer of light, came near walking into
q pot of batter that the pancakes were to
be made of in the morning. My wife, who
was dreadfully out of humor, said to me,
sarcastically:
"Bill, do put your foot in the batter
"Just as you say Maggy," said l, sand
without the least hesitation I put my foot in
the batter, and then went to bed"
Next, Joe Brown told his story:
"My wife had already retired in our usu-
al sleeping room, which adjoins the kitchen,
and the door of which was sjar; not being
able to navigate perfectly, you know, |
made dreadful gathering amongt the house.
hold furniture, and my wife in no very
pleasant tone, bawled out:
"Do break the porridge pot"
"No sooner said than done. l seized
hold of the bale of the pot, and striking it
against the chimney jamb, broke it into
hundred pieces. After this exploit re-
tired to rest, and got o curtain lecture all
night for my pains"
1t was now Tim Watson's turn to give an
account of himself, which be did with q
very long face, as follows:
"My wife gave me the most unluoky COM
mand in the world for I was blundering up
stairs in the dark, when she cries out:
"Do break your neck-do Tmv'
"I'll be cursed if do, Kate" said I, as
gathered myself up, I'll sooner pay the
bill"
"And so, landlord, here's the cash for
you, and this is the last time I'll ever risk
FIVE dollars on the command of my wife"
n6TA A few weeks ago DR.. Clark was call.
ed to attend to an old gentleman, who had
unfortunately fallen and broken his leg
The anxious family, children and grand
children, clustered around him, as serious
doubts were entertained of the old mans be-
ing able to withstand the shock he had re-
ceived. The doctor assured them that he
would get along, but they were very fearful
that he would be crippled for life. When
at last the surgeon had completed his labors
of setting and baudagipg the broken limb,
and was about to leave the house, one Of
the old mans sons, stout fellow of twenty
or more, called the doctor aside, and with
great earnestness inquired:
doctor, will you tell me candidly, do
you think the old gentleman will get well 7?
you need feel no solicltude on that point,
john replied the doctor, 'am very sure
he will
well, now, DOCTOR John began again,
with anxiety in his face, 'do you think he
will ever be able walk again?
Il fear not said the doctor 'at least not
with crutches'
Johns face frightened as he added,
sWell, the reason for my wanting to know
was that, last week the old man bought a
first rate pair of new boots, and they just fit
me; so, if you thing he won't want 'em any
more, I would like mighty we'll to have
'em'!
Nice boy that-very!