Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1866-03-16
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ALI. SORTS OF ITEMS.

Rain has one disreputable fault; Il
10 an eaves-dropper.
Blessed is the headed man, fol-
his wife cannot pull his hair.
When a shoemaker goes to make
boot, the first thing he uses is his last.
Fifty hogs an hour is the rate at
which they dress them out West by
machinery.
Ladies' and Indians paint their faces.
Extremes meet-civilizstion and barbar-
ism.
When the young laugh at the old,
they laugh at themselves beforehand.
Common sense is valuable in all
kinds of business except love- making.
-"Corn bread 2" said an Irish
waiter, "we havn't got it; an isn't it
corn bafe ye name 2"
When is blacksmith in danger of
raising row in the alphabet When
he makes A poke r and shove L.
An auctioneer, vexed with his audi
ence, said 81 am mean fellow-mean
as dirt, and feel at home in this COM
pany."
Why is husband like Mississippi
steamer Because he never knows when
he may get blowing up.
81 am on the trail of q deer as
the fellow said when he stepped on one
Of the many street sweepers.
-"Do you play by the ear ?" inquir-
ed pupil of dancing school fiddler
"No, my dear, 1 play by the night"
How is it that the chanticleer always
keeps his feathers so smooth and slick ?
Because he carries his comb with him.
"A hunter in Colorado killed six
fawns in one day, and sold them for a
handsome sum. There wos the thrift
that follows fawning."
The Princess Anna Murat's wedding
linen cost 1920. 900. 1t will be good
while before her Highness is reduced to
her last-ahem resource.
What becomes Of all the pins p is
question first started by one of the
British Quarterlies, and never to our
knowledge, hitherto answered Our
excellent better half informs US that they
fall into the earth, and become terra
pins.
"A penurious fellow, who, to save
paper, wrote in very small hand, once
lent to friend, manuscript, which was
returned unread, with this compliment:
"If you reason as closely as you orite,
you are invincible.'
=" A man who'll maliciously set fire
to barn." said Mr.. Slow, Ga and burn
up twenty COWS, ought to be kicked to
death by jackass, and I'd like to do
it,"
"A pretty girl and wild horse are
liable to Go much mischief, for the one
runs away with fellows body. and the
other runs away with his heart.
AT an agricultural dinner, the fol-
lowing toast was given: 1.-The game Of
fortune-shuffle the cards as you will,
bpauts must VIII.
A father was winding up his watch,
when he playfully said to his little
daughter " Let me wind your nose up"
NO." said the little child, 81 don't
want it to run all day."
The Winans cigar ship expects to
cross the Atlantic in four days. A
wine-an' cigar ship ought to be pretty
fast one. We presume she will take a
convoy to-back-her.
-" Are you Christian Indian p
q asked benevolant gentleman of one OF
the Chippewa tribe. +" No SIR" was
the answer, Il whiskey Ingen." A
significant distinction.
"A good deal Of consolation offered
In this world is about as solacing as tn,
assurance of toe man to his wife whel
she fell into the river: 'you will fine
ground at the bottom. my dear"
"A New York lady, with forum
of one hundred thousand dollars, recent
married poor barber. That comes O
the modern extravaganza in hair dress
The barber reached the lady's Golfers b
tampering with her locks.
-Conversing one day with fashion
able and pretty belle. the facetious Nh
Spriggs observed that "ladies tina
hsped wished to be kissed" The lad
had before been speaking unaffectedly
but now replied, "Mo I've heard hay.
"A farmer going to get his girls
ground at mill, borrowed bag Of on
of his neighbors; the poor man wa
knocked under the water-wheel and tn
bag with him. He was drowned. Whel
the melancholy news was brought to hi
wife, she exclaimed, "My gracious
what fuss there'll be about that bag !!
We may seek costly furniture 70
our homes, fanciful ornaments for GU
mantle-pieees. and rich carpets for GU
floors; but after the absolute pecessar;es
books are at once the cheapest and Ger
tainly the most useful and abiding EN-
belishments.
A sharp youth borrowed stick o
candy from little comrade, to show hin
that he could pull it out of his ear. H,