The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1866-12-14
A scripturul PnnoramR-How if was
Fitted TO Music.


"Mark Twain, in the Alta Californian,
tells the following interesting history
of the scriptural panorama:
There was fellow travelling in that
country with moral religious lava
sort of scriptural panorama-and he
hired wooden-headed old slab to play
the piano for him. After the first
nights performance the Snowman said +:
"My friend, you seem to know pretty
much all the tunes there are, and yon
worry along first-rate. Bat then, didn't
You notice that sometimes last night,
the piece you happened TO be playing
was a little rough on the proprieties, so
to speak-didn't seem to jibc with the
general gate of the picture that was
passing at the time, rs il were-waS n
| little foreign TO the subject, you know
as if didn't neither follow suit OF
trump, you understand!
"Weli, no,r the fellow said. "He
hadn't noticed, but it might be; he had
played along Just as il came TO hand =
So they put il mp so that the simple
old dummy was to keep his eyes on the
panorama after that, and as soon rs 4
stunning picture rolled ont, he was TO
fit it to dot with piece of music that
would help the audience to get an idea
of the subject, and warm them up like
camp-meeting revival. That sort of
thing would corral their sympathies,
the Snowman said. -
There was big audience that night
mostly middle-aged and old people,
who belonged to the church and took n
strong interest in Bible matters, and
the balance were young bucks and
heifer-they always come out strong on
panoramas, you know, because it gives
| them o chance to kiss one another's
mug in the dark.
Well, the Snowman began to swell
himself up for his lecture, and the old
mud -dobber tackled the piano and run
his fingers up and down once or twice
to see that she was all right, and then
the fellows behind the curtain COM
menced to grind ont the panorama.
The Snowman balanced his weight on
his hips, flung his eyes over the scenery
and said:
"Ladies and gentlemen, the painting
now before you illustrates the beautiful
and touching parable of the Prodigal
Son. Observe the happy expression
breaking over the features of the poor
suffering youth-so worn and weary
with his long march; note also the
ecstacy beaming from the uplifted coun-
tenance of the aged father, and the joy
that sparkles in the eyes of the excited
group of youths and maidens, and seems
to burst in welcoming chorus from
their lips. The lesson, my friends, is rs
solemn and instructive rs the story is
tender and beautiful"
The mud-dobber was ready, and the
second the speech was finished, he
struck mp:
oh, well all get blind drunk,
When Johnny comes marching home"
Some of the people giggled, and some
groaned little. The Snowman could
not say word. He looked at the pi-
ano-nan sharp, but he was all lovely
and serene-he didn't know there was
anything out of gear.
The panorama moved on, and the
Snowman drummed MP his grit and
started in afresh.
Ladies' and gentlemen, the fine pic
| ture now unfolding itself to your gaze
exhibits one of the most notable events
in Bible history-our Saviour and his
disciples upon the sea OF Galilee. How
grand, how awe-inspiring arc the re-
Elections which the subject inyokes.
What sublimity of faith is revealed to
us in this lesson from the sacred writ
ings. The Saviour rebukcs the angry
waves, and walks securely upon the
bosom of the deep"
All around the house they were whis-
pering "Oh, how lovely, how beauti-
fulw and the orchestra let himself out
again:
Oh. a life on the ocean wave;
And home on the rolling deep.
There was a good deal of honest
snickering turned on this time, and con-
siderable groaning, and one or two old
deacons got up and went ont. The
Snowman gritted his teeth and cursed
the piano man to himself, but the fell
low sat there like knot on log, and
seemed to think he was doing first
rate.
After things got quiet, the Snowman
thought he would make one more stag
ger at it anyhow, though his confidence
was very shaky. The supcs started the
panorama to going along again, and he
says:
Ladies and gentlemen, the exqui
site painting illustrates the raising of
Lazarus from the dead by our Savior.
Observe the half-confused, half-inquir-
ing look upon the countcnance of the
awakening Lazarus. Observe, also, the
attitude and expression of the Savior,
who takes him gently Ly the sleeves of
his shroud with one hand, while he
points with the other toward the dist
ant CITY,"
Before anybody could get of an opin-
ion in the case, the innocent old ass at
the piano struck mp:
Come, rise mp. William Riley.
And come along with me"
All the solemn old floats got up in
huff to go, and everybody else laughed
till the windows ratified.
The Snowman went down and grab
bed the orchestra and shook him up, and
said:
"That lets you out, you know, you
chowde- e-headed old clam! Go to the
door-keeper and get your money, and
cut stickw
One of our exchanges has the follow
ing; 81.
"The proportions of the human figure
are strictly mathematical. The whole
figure is six times the length of the