The daily Mississippi clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1866-1866, 1866-05-06
NUMBER 24l.
HHU uOROEs.

Docker, writing Years aCOne. from the
Green mountain State, sends some
'luristical anecdotes that viii bear
repetition. Among them is one Of
Judge p, an eminent iurist of those
days. One of his sherihs was a long
legged, lank, lean, awkward Yankee;
bsshtul withal stutterer and STAN
| merer; and with s voice like the tear.
ing Of q stay sail out Of bolt rome
He opened court one day with the
usual formula Hear We, hear ver
etc. which he did. doubtless. in the
stvle Of the Nassau street ,self-sealing
en-vsiop' vender. Anything on the
bo-a-a- ri, four cents Twenty FIVE
sheets Of wri ting paper, fo-w-er
c-a-e nts n. He, of course. became
embarrassed, and suffered and STAN
mered commenced-brobe down
commenced again and had proceeded
so far as to designate the Court by its
jurisdictional name. which, to save his
life. he could not do at first: then he
commenced again, and Ggaia had to
give it mp, leaving the Irresistible i'm
preston on the minds of persons ig-
norant of what he would be at. that he
was calling their Honors by very bad
names. Judge P enioyed the fel-
lows confusion and embarrassment
very keenIv. and when he could con
tain himselfno longer he turned to
one Of his associates, and slsppiug
him tamiharlv ON the knee. remarked
in a whisper, loud enough to be heard
throughout the bar. i say Brother
R, | have seen courts opened be
fore now, but | must confess / never
before saw one tore open
Here is another, The late Bates
Turner, Of Vermont (ofwhom every
fun lover within five hundred miles
has heard, and of whom more humo-
rous sayings are recorded than of any
other man in Vermont was as witty a
| man as he was learned iurist He had
quick, subtle, and acute mind. with a
nervous and very hurried manner;
speaking so fast. when talking, that it
was difficult for the listener to keep
up with his words. He was many
years on the bench. On one occasion.
a young and Jealous lawyer, not over
punctihous in his illusions to the
Court, nor very formal in his manner,
was arguing a law question before the
Judge; and in the course of his argu-
ment, by way of illustration, wished
to suppose a case We will sup
pose your Honor, said he, that your
Honor were to steal horse
No no = interrupted the Judge; not
at all . not at all 'taiu't a supposable
case, Mr. S., tan't supposable
case Very well, begging your
Honor's pardon, proceeded the eager
lawyer with more zeal than prudence,
very well; then supposing that
should steal a horse 'Ah yes,
yes, yes, said the Judge, that is
different thing; very likely Mr.. s.,
very likely. Proceed, Mr. s..
Mr. s. proceeded to take a seat,
amid the shouts Of his bretheren, and
had the good sense to take the Joke in
good part, and to repeat it
often to his friends. While
Judge Turner was in the practice
Of his profession, he once conducted
a petty litigation between two very
mean men, about a very small matter,
and finally succeeded in promoting his
case to the county court, to be heard
by a Judge presiding therein, who
shall be nameless. This judge, al
though he had the respect of the bar
for his learning and ability, had lost
their confidence in his integrity, and
was generally deemed corrupt - He
was a man of stately, dignifed pres
ence, although at times a little pom
pous.' Mr.. Turner's case was laid
before his honor, and had been pro
ceeded in far enough for the Judge to
catch a glimpse of the nature of it
and its litigants, when he stopped Mr.
Turner in very grave dignifed man
ner: Mr. Turner, this seems to be
rather trifiug case. why not advise
your client to submit il TO the candid
impartial arbitrament Of two or three
good honest men, and so not trouble
the court = "Ah YES, yes. YES
your honor" broke in Mr.. Turner, in
his usual hurried manner, and a spark
ling snap of his sharp, 'practised eye
as he addressed the Judge (for whom
by the way, he had not high regard.
yes, yes. your honor, but His IS Just
precisely one of Tie cases IRE do not irish
10 trOuJle an honest man 7cjtht' Mr.
Turner lost his case.
One or two more, and | am done
An empty headed, cOnceited broth
er-lawyer once bewaIed to Judge Tur-
ner that he (the lawyer could not be
translated back to youth and carry
with him all the learning and cxpe
rience he had acquired during a long
practice: Yes, yes :" said the Judge
but console yourself that you would
carry back a very light pack indeed
hardly worth the journey -
lie had very intimate friend and
neighbor, who was very methodical
(and withal rather eccentric) in the
commonest affairs Of life. Among
other things, this neighbor had a dog;
a fine noble fellow, that was a general
favorite, and with whom his muster
kept regular and precise book-ac-
count, charging the dog with his
board, etc, etc, and crediting him
with services whenever he rendered
any 1t so happened that the dog
killed a COW, by breaking her neck
for which his master had TO paw dear
", and so he killed the dog. Upon
examining, and adjusting the account
with his dog, after his demise, the
animal was found to be greatly in
debt to his master OF this he was
complaining one day TO the judge in
mock mourning style, when judge
Turner briefly remarked, nuJging his
friend, Yes, yes. NJ, no know
ing how the dogs accounts would
have stood if he had only hand an
honssl executor The dogs estate
was speedily settled, and accounts
balanced by profit and loss account.
Ezr A correspondent Of Harper
contributes the following to the Edi-
tors drawer. It will doubtless be
news to General McMackin who, we
believe, never kept'a hotel in TaIIa-
hassee, Florida.
On my way South had occasion to
stop over night at the P House,
Yicksburg Mississippi. The hotel is
undoubtedly the best Ia the city, and
presided over by very fine Southern
gentleman, late 4 Colonel in the So
called c. S. Army
At meal time l noticed that instead
Of printed 'bilIs Of fare" the Colonel
stationed himself at one end of the
dining room. and i'm a voice Ioud