The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1866-05-09
The Bondholder's Soliloquy,
'[From the la Crosse Democrat.l

1ioAO GU " iioi, piospcious, loydi HIuu,
With nothing to do but to enjoy myself.
Eeod! what blessing, the war was to me-
1T killed off my poor relations and left ME
ia luck. i am worth--let me see how
JrHickSI am worth in bonds
There aye Of seventeen twenties S25000
There are OF six forties $4,000
And the seven thirties $4,000
And the ten-twenties $4,000
p. & ~ u 100000
Now one hundred thousand dollars is
nothing, yet it is quite a little plum.
= When the war began Iwant worth COO
per, unless it was in debts. Now | am
well off. But ! am cunning cuss! Didn't
make war speeches, and denounce Demo
Gratis, and mob !. epppefheads," AMI 90 it
strong for the Union? You bet! Ha-ha-
ba-ha! But the fools are not all dead.
Some of them are--that is, they were kill
cd, And didn't I get the poor people to
enlist and fight to preserve the Union
Damn the Union, If I only get Office and
hold bonds. That's what makes the cream
elevate ITSELF
And then didn't ] 90 in for bodnties, and
go it strong on patriotism; and play it big
on loyalty Guess not! Oh no /! Guess
patriotism don't pay Look at these little
fellers with figures on The face and these
coupons on the esd of them! How are
you. my suffering country!
1t takes smart man to keep out of war
himself and entice others to CO. The boun-
( ties is what fetched EN-! You see they
went to fight.
From all the towns, cities and counties
To war they went to get the bounties!
Some were killed
And some were wouaded,
- - Some we're shot
And some were drownded.
And some, when this cruel war was
over, came back. had q farm. / sold
it and put my money in bonds. Bonds
beat farms ten to nothing! And I spscu-
lated in "things" And | sold stuff to the
soldiers. And | got their bounty money
on shares. And | filled town quotas, and
made nice little haul by that. And put
my cash in bonds.
Bonds are just old rosewood with gilt
edge. Let lne see. ] have now one bun
bred thousand dollars in Government bonds
How lore my government! 1t is the
best the sun ever ahone on! These bonds
average ME eight percent interest in gold
Eight per cent. on one hundred thousand
III, dollars is just eight thousand. And | get
in gold, worth thirty-fye to forty-fve per
IL rent. premium 'lais makes in greenbacks
the snug little sum of eleven thousand dol
lars--round numbers.
7ts7 And the beauty of it is doa't have one
cent Of taxes to pay.
Isn't it nice
This is the best Government the world
ever saw. Rich men hold bonds poor
+ men pay them. The tax-gatherer don't
bother me. 1t dent cost nae one red cent
toilet me see.
10 pay State expenses!
SOS 10 pay government expenses!
sr To pay county taxes!
.,r To pay city taxes!
To pay village taxes!
md TO pay town taxes !l,y tisH
To pay school taxes !!
10 pay road taxes
10 pay poor taxesl I'll
10 To pay for building churches, school
houses, bridges, railroads, improvements,
or even INTEREST," rysi b. 35s s6
q | am one of the supporters of this gov
eminent. Good tAing. fit had not been
for such loud.monghed stay at-home guards
the war never would have been ended
And the soldiers, bounties! E'cod that is
the best joke Of the season.
You see we raised them by taxation, Of
course. And we taxed the property-the
real estate of the town. And we issued
town bonds, city bonds, county bonds
State bonds and every other kind of bonds
And we sold 'em dog cheap to get the mon
ey to pay bountes. And US fellows bought
the bonds ut discount. And we gave The
volunteers money to go to war. And
while they were gone we had good time
And we sold our farms cheap to the wives
of the soldiers. And we get our bounty
money all back. iis.Ies gig.teeaI
And better still The soldiers came
back from the war and now are working to
pay taxes to pay iaterest on my bonds,
Isn't it nice.
7 The id fools went to war, and now
come back and work like dogs to pay US
the interest on the bonds we sold to give
them money. They are paying themselves
for getting shot at! Bully for us bond
holders
81 And now they work to pay the interest
When they get used to it well make 'enl
pay the principal teo! What good gov.
ornment this is.
This war didn't cost me one cent. ]
didn't spill a drop Of my blood-but key.
rhist, how bawl out against the Demo
Gratis.
And now I sit ii my parlor-I smoke
my cigars drink my wine--I enjoy my.
sell, and have no taxes to pay. Look at
that poor cuss across the creek. He ain'i
worth a thousand dollars, yet, he poor dog
is in debt, and pays half his earnings in
taxes. He pays all the taxes, and then his
wife sells butter eggs, wooden yarn, milk
vegetables and such little things she wants
to get the money TO put in the bank to pay
me the interest on my one hundred thou
sand dollars, as it falls due every three
months.
, ~ "a es-->---~~~-~--
InE PaEsrDEYT's PARTNER.--A writer
in the Memphis Post, who dates his letter
from Tuscumbia, Ala, says: 81.
While Andrew johnson is elevated tc
the highest Office in the gift of the people
John S. Morgan, his former partner Of
Greenyille, Tenn, in the tailoring business
connected with his office, viz; Justice o.
the Peace, to which he was but recently
appointed. The Squire says that he was
decidedly the better tailor than old Andy
and thinks it passing strange that fortune
should smile upou the inferior Of the tive
and erinces much surprise that Andy does
not remember him when he looks over 1
long list of the lucrative Offices to be filled
and with some emphasis declares if he
were President not outstanding Andy's in