The day book. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 1857-1867, 1866-06-02
THE DAY BOOK.
SATURDAY, EVENING, JUNE !, 1865.

SATURDAY EVENING, JUNE :, 1866.
How SIMON SUGas WAS TREATED BY TIL
WIDOW FLAsH.-Now, Sol, said Simon t.
Sol. Smith, his intimate friend, l will tel
you how the lovely Julia treated me, if you
will faithfully promise not to tell it to any
person alive You promise, do you? Well
/ had been counting Julia assiduously for a
year or more past, and never could bring
matters to close, so l determined to pluck
up courage, and have my fate decided al
once. l therefore decked myself in my best
bib and tucker, had my hair cut, my beard
and moustaches trimmed, and called on my
dear Julia one bright morning in May, and
after much cooling, | was very DESTROYS OF
billing, but my heart failed me to make the
attempt placed my hand on her shoulder
and said, Widow, this is the softest place !
ever put my hand on in the whole course of
my life. Indeed, Mr.. Suggs, said she, will
put it on softer place; and Sol, now you
promise you won't tell anybody. She took
my hand from her shoulder in her own soft
delicate, plump little hand, and put it right
on the top of my head.
The Albany Georgia Patriot learns tina
while the colored population were holding a
meeting in that city some time since, fol
the purpose of taking up collection for
charitable purposes, there arose dispute be-
tween the "bredren," which finally came to
blows. 1t seems that one fellow, after con-
tributing his little mite, concluded that he
could put his money to better use, and re-
marked: "Bredren, dat money trow in the
hat while ago I wants back, for l amt gwine
to work hard in de hot sun and glib it to SIGH
lazy niggers as you are" To this the "bred-
rem" became offended, and told him that he
could not get his money back, when a gene
raj row ensued."
A blunder in Victor Hugo's ''Toilers of the
Sea" is very amusing-and all the more SO
from the fact that the author has great pride
in his geographical learning The Firth Of
Forth he renders in French by the words
Premier de la Qnatrieme-the First of the
Fourth! There has been nothing funnier
than that since another Frenchman translated
Loves Last Shift" 1.-THE title of a play into
La Derniere Ohemise de EAmouri
"A young girl named Julia Mackey, mar
ried a fellow named Jenny Donnelly, in
Buffalo, the other day, after courtship of
five minutes. She is only fifteen, and didn't
even know her husbands name previous to
the marriage"
An old fellow in the neighboring town who
is original in all things, especially in excessive
egotism and profanity, and who took part in
the late great rebellion, was one day blowing
IN the village tavern to crowd Of admiring
listeners, and Boosting of his many bloody ex-
plots, when he was interrupted by the ques-
ton
81 say, old Joe, how many rebs did You
kill during the war? ...
"How many did l kill, Sir? how many rebs
did l kill? Well l don't zactly know how
many; but | know this much-I killed as
many O. them as they did O. mel"
Memphis appears to be under the protec-
ton of a very chivalrous mayor. The Argus
at that place recently alluded to his incohe-
rent conduct during the late disturbance,
which elected the following
$40 the Editors of the Argus:
"For your uncouth and ungentlemanly
remarks in regard to myself in this morning 5
issue, / hold you personally responsible. Sc
lect your friend to arrange this difficulty
Most respectfully,
MAY II, 1866" JOHN PARK.
A reply was at once sent declining the offer,
and directed to ellis Honor John Park
Mayor and Commander-in-chief of the Army
and Navy of Memphis" The Mayor indig-
nantly returned this letter with the following
endorsement
whenever you choose to act the coward,
keep all communications within your office as
above.
MAY II, 1866. JOHN PARK"
And so the matter stands.
A western editor thinks Hiram Powers is a
swindler, because be chiselcd an unfortunate
Greek girl out of block of marble.