davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1866-01-10
Madam Scandal.

A long time ago, in the western part of Eng
land, there lived an aged couple whose time
had passed away, since early in youth, in the
every day around of farm life, and who had
nc yer been known to have the least ill-feeling
toward each other, since the good old time
when good old Parson lIeriot had united them
in the holy bonds Of wcdlOck, twenty-five years
before. SO well was the fact of their conjugial
happiness known, that they were spoken OF far
and near as the happiest pair in England. =
Now the Devil (cxcuse the abrupt mention of
his name) had been trying for twenty years to
create what is called g fuss in the family
between these old companions. But, much to
his mOrtiiica ion, he had not been able to in
duce the old gentleman to grumble about
breakfast too late, or the old woman to give a
single curtain lecture
Alter repeated efforts, the Devil became dis
couraged, and had he not been person of great
determination, he would doubtless have given
the work up III despair. One day he was walk
ing along in a very surly mood, after another
attempt to get the old lady to quarrel about the
| pigs getting into the yard, he met an old lady,
a neighbOr of the aged couple. As Mr. Devil
| and the neighbOr were very particular friends
they must needs stop on the way and chat Q
little.
Good morning, sir" said she, "and pray
what on earth makes you look so bad thi.
morning? Isn't the controversy between the
churches doing good service2"
| Yes"
Isn't Deacon w. making plenty of baC
whiskeyY
| Yes"
E"Well, what is the matter, my highly honor
ed master?'
' Everything is going on we'll enough" re
piled the Devil but (and he looked as sour a
| a monkey on n crab annie trec) "old BupforC
and his wife over here are iujuring the caus
terribly by their bad example; and after trying
for four years TO induce them to do right,
must say | consider them hopeless.
The old hag stood q moment in deel
thought
Are you sure you have tried every way?'
Every way can think Of.
J. Are you ccrtainY" - -. =" +,
"Well," replied she;;." if you will promis
to make me present Of new pair of shoes
in case | succeed, | will make the attempt my
SELF and see if can raise q quarrel betwee
them" A'.l fa q" F'E' i'--
10 this reasonable request the Devil gladl
assented. The old hag went her way to oil
Blueford's house, and found Mrs Blucfor
, busily engaged in getting things ready for he
: husbands comfort on his return from work
After the usual compliments had passed, IL
following dialogue took place .tt
"Well, friend b., you and Mr.. B. have live
a long time together"
7 "Five-and twenty years, come November,
And all this time younhay not had a qua
= rel2' @ a-i :. fane1
J. ,,plNot one. 20 ..1,.. 90 /,
y ~ am truly glad to hear il, u continued Il
I. bag.II . 1 cvnssder Rf my1 duty ec warn yU
v sfsaannTgyCa NB lo aa
Smyrna times., 1866-01-10
WHOLE NO: 597

A European paper relates an incident to
show the oppression to which the Poles are
still subject from the Russian authorities. A
respectable family at Warsaw va, recently cele
bratlng the marriage OF one of ito members -
On returning from the church a police agent
came uninvited and seated himself at the table
among the guests. After having taken his fill
OF the choicest dishes and the hest wines, he
lett and sent one Of his comrades t" occupy his
place. Others succeeded until fifth, at the
end OF the repaSt, ordered young lady to take
her scat at the piano. and then offered himself
to dance with the bride The company had
now lost all patience, and Indignantly request
ed the man to retire, but the police il rent, who
was half intoxicated, declared all the guests
under arrest. The master Of til" house then
showed him permission for the meeting sign
ed by the authorities, but the man without
making any reply, went and fetched "A number
of his colleagues, and marched the whole COM
pany off to prison. The police then returned
to the house, consumed the refreshments pre-
pared tor the evening, and INDUCED in an Orgie
IN the proprietor. wine cellar. The next morn
ing the imprisoned party were brought before
the conmi>sary Of puIi"', who simply dismiss
ell them, advising them to return quietly home
and not complain in the superior authorities if
they did not wish to draw down upon them
further UNI llea,antnc>S.
Smyrna times., 1866-01-10

THE PowRR OF THE HEART. Let any one,
while sitting down, place the left leg over the
knee of the right one, and permit it 70 hang
freely, abandoning all muscular control over it
Speedily it may be observed to sway forward
and backward through limited space at regu-
lar intervals Counting the number Of these
motions from any given time, they will be found
to agree exactly with the beatings of the pulse
Every one knows that, at fires, when the water
from the engine is forced through bent hose,
the tendency is to straighten the hose, and if
the bend be a sharp one, considerable force is
necessary to overcome the tendency. Just so
it is in the case of the human body. The arte-
ries are but a system of hose, through which
blood is forced by the heart. When the leg is
bent, all the arteries within it are bent too,
and every time the heart contracts the blood
rushing through the arteries tends to straight
en- them and it is this effort which produces
the motion Of the leg alluded to. Without
such occular demonstration, it is difficult to
conceive the power exerted by that exquisite
mechanism, the normal pulsatiOns of which
are never perceived by him whose very life
they are.
Smyrna times., 1866-01-10

TIE STONES OF SoLoMoN's TEMPLE
marble stones which composed Solomon Tenn
pie were said to be forty cubits long, twelve
thick, and eight high. Supposing cubit to
be eighteen inches, which is the lowest esti-
mate, they would be sixty feet long, eighteen
thick, and twelve feet high. And supposing u
cubic foot of marble to weigh :, 2,7O7 ounces one
of these stones weighed ., 725,OS pounds and
twelve ounces. Ii one man was able to
raise 200 pounds, it required l3, 100 men to
raise one of these, and also little boy that
could raise 80 pounds u ounces. Suppose one one
man require square yard to stand upon, II
would require acres, roods, | | perches. ana
IL yards for them to stand upon while raising
it, besides place for the boy to stand. v mat hat
I6ats must have been necessary to carry them
across the sea to Joppa What kind ofteams,
as we'll as wagons, doyoq suppose they yY had h to
carry these stones from Joppa b Jefusalem'
which is about thirty miles, and a mountane-
Gus country? What skill was necessary to
SQUARE and dress these immense stones, so that
when thry were brought together they fitted
81 exactly that they bad the appearance ofond
g1rro ...r ..A ....~eA-4 s.# reT ts.s
Smyrna times., 1866-01-10
r Y
Somebody's Boy.

8 Somebody's son was out last night,
Brushing about the town;
4 And, if mistake not, he was tight
flight US a Derby clown"
s | know he's considered a moral youth,
Above snspicion-but that
Is no reason, to tell the truth,
He hadn't ''a brick in his hat"
Daylight morally often takes
Strange fancies into his head,
And plays the duce," or "jumps up snakes"
When the public eye is in bed
my son can't dance" somebody said.
"FOr never a lesson took he"
But he danced last night when you were in bed,
And twilight was there to see.
You may call it dancing or not, as you feel,
Though for half an hour or more,
lie danced or '.jigged" 'tangls foot resl,"
In front Of my Office door.
INV son can't sing" somebody swears,
Bot he sung last night, know,
A, rough a song the demon darss
To sing in the regions below.
"My SOn don't imbibe," somebody thinks,
Well, may be he don't-but then,
That he acts very much like one who drinks,
Can be proved by hundred men.
Yet something was tight-ysH drunk-last night
So drunk he could hardly crawl
Perhaps twas the brim of u crownleEs hat,
That I f,und hv nv rardau
So, FOR fear am wrong and somebody's right.
My hasty words i recall.
And say that the thing say last night
Was somebody's son-that's ALL
Smyrna times., 1866-01-10

SrH!IME IMprpE>rE -Nr. John Ferguson,
Of Charleston, s. G.. former owner Of the
steamer IiaI,ter, which was surrendered to
Admiral Dupont, shortly after his attack on
that city, has applied for possession of the
steamer, claiming that She was stolen by ne
groes and captured from them by our blocka-
ding squadron, that he had taken the amnesty
oath, and the steamer should be restored to
him with his other property. Gen. Saxton
having been called upon to investigate the at-
fair, reports that the PLanter was employed
by the rebels to transport troops, aruls and
ammunition during our attack on Charleston.
While in this service She was CALAMITY brought
past the rebel batteries, and surrendered to
Admiral Dupont, by u slave named Robert
Small. The steamer has since been repaired
at a cost Of $4,000, and is employed by the
Quartrrmaster Department. Small, for bra
very played since the surrender of the Plan-
ter, h been placed in command Of the vessel.
Smyrna times., 1866-01-10

Boot-back boy to returned soldier" Black
your boots, sir? make en- shine" Looking
at his unpublished "gunboats' in a contcrnpla-
tive way, the warworn veteran replied ''Wel,
| don't care if you do-tall in promptly tho y
then, turning to comraie near by, shouted
out: . say, Bill, lend us hand, won't yer?
I've got an army contract"
Smyrna times., 1866-01-10

The following memoranda, dropped by
young lady attircd in an embroidered velvet
Talma, al exquisite Honitou lace collar, white
hat and plume, and painfully brilliant silk
dress, with exaggerated hounceS, Was picked
up in Buffalo by local reporter: :" must get
a Vail, Broun hoes, Sarceknet, Laise, Gluvs,
Shlmnyzet, kulone."
Smyrna times., 1866-01-10

LIFE PARCEIED OrT-Lord Coke wrote
the following, which he religiously observed:
= Six hours to sleep, to laws great study six,
four spend in prayer, the rest to nature fix. "
But William Jones, wiser economist of tine
heeting hours of life, amended the sentiment
thus: Seven hours to law, 10 soothing
slumber seven; ten to the world allot, and all
to heaven "
Smyrna times., 1866-01-10

a WIFE.-The following advertisement. ap-
pears under the head ~ Wife Wanted, IN
Yankee paper: Any gal that's got bed, a
coffee pot, skillet, knows how to cut out brltches
can make huntin shirt and knows how to
take care of children, can have my service till
death parts both on us. "
Smyrna times., 1866-01-10

A bachelor uncle, to whom his niece applied
for advice on the question Of choosing between
two suitOrs, one Of whom was rich and the
other poor-the latter, of course, being the
most ardent, as well as the fayorite ioyer-scn-
tentiously replied: q" My dear, the question
being stripped Of all illusory elements, your
choice simply lies between love and beef Now,
love is an idea, while beef is reality Love
you can get along without; but beet You must
have. Therefore, make sure of your beef"
Smyrna times., 1866-01-10

General Grant, after paying his respects to
the President, received " calls himself, at his
new residence in Georgetown. During the
afternoon Mr.. Hooper, of Massachusetts, on
behalf of his constituency, presented the gene
raj with the title and q catalogue of valuable
library, consisting of about two thousand vol
umeS
Smyrna times., 1866-01-10

" What were you thinking, my man." said
Lord Hill as he approached a soldier who was
.elning in gloomy mood upon his fire lock,
while around him lay manglcd thousands Of
French and English; it was few hours after
the battle Of Salamanca had been won by the
English The soldier started, and after salut-
ing his general, answered II was thinking,
my lord, how many widows and orphan, have
this day made for one shilling" lie had fired
two hundred rounds of ball that day.
Smyrna times., 1866-01-10

At meeting of young girls at Seneca, NY,
recently, it was resolved, - That If We, the
young ladies' of Seneca Falls, don get married
during the year to come, somebody will be to
hlame
Smyrna times., 1866-01-10

Ouilp says he never sees Blank eating Tapi-
oca pudding, without thinking of y fellow try
ing to stop up large hole with i very inade-
q,iatc qusntlty Of mortar.
Smyrna times., 1866-01-10

If Brigham Young twenty wives favor their
lord with Curtain Lectures, what, Oh what,
must be the nature Of Young Night
Though's2 -
Smyrna times., 1866-01-10

A little boy died from eating colored candy
in Buffalo. Given to him by an abolitionist,
We suppose.
What iS-the difference between an accepted
and u rejected lov,r! One kisses his miss, tbs
ollmr mftnes his kiM
Smyrna times., 1866-01-10

"Why do you keep YOURSELF so Distant said
fair one to cool lover. 4" Because, said he
distance lends enchantment to the view."
Smyrna times., 1866-01-10

Miss Thompson says that every unmarried
lady al sixty may consider that she has passed
the Cape Of Good Hope. ...4
Smyrna times., 1866-01-10
F'6shi0nables,

Fine feathers make fine birds" says the
pr0verb. As applied to men and women this
Is not true, five lIsc " fine in its highest sense.
Yet, though.ye learn upon acquaintance to es-
innate good qualities of head and heart, the
dress aud general appearance give Us the first
impression. We receive a stranger according
tO his costume even if we dismiss him accord
ing to his merits. When Oliver Goldsmith
SOicited-in Il s:ar'et waistcJat ordination
from his diocesan, he was refused, not because
his ability was inferior to that of other candi
dates, but because his attire was unseemly y
The fne-featherel bird has no choice in its
pumage Its fashions know no change, and
are as old as Eden. But with the human bip
ed it is different. The plainest dress, neatly
arranged, shows method and order; rich mate
rials, selected with judgment, and worn with
taste, show good sense and propriety; regard
tor fashion, not Overstralned to be the hrst In
the new or the last in the old, tells of practl-
cal and well ordered mind. Eccentric people
have affected to despise dress, but it was an
unamiable ccceutricity. Jeremy Bentham went
about 80 shabby that he was often mistaken for
q mendicant, AMI, on one OCCASION III bitter hu-
NOR, accepted aims. johnson was sloven
Lady Morgan complained of Bryon' nght-cap
and flannel jacket; but, as rule, most great
men have entertained regard for appearance.
johnson owned that when he was full-dresSed
| ne could not treat people with the same rude
! familiarity as ON other occasions Byron in his
youth was great dandy, with passion for a
blue coat and brass buttons Goethe could new
er write till he was splendidly attircd and had
his diamond ring on Oliver Goldsmith wa>
proud of his tailor; and Petrarch, in letter to
his BROTHER, says, Recollect the time when
we wore white robes, on which the least spot
or a pait ill-griced woull have been subject
of grief" 1t was only Beau Brummcli, who,
when the Duke Of Bedford was diseoursing on
his own coat, could disparagingly touch that
garment and seriously ask, . Bedford, do you
really call this thing cOat?''I There are few
of us so hypercritical Atthe same time there
are many ladies who are quite willing to admit
that they 10 admire man for the cut Of hi,
coat III -
Have not American women the good sense tC
strike a happy medium in dress? OF lat,
years ,extrayagancc has been carried toa fright
ftll extent in Paris 1t is confidently affirmed
that $4,000 have been paid for dresses worn b,
fair actresses in piece now in representation
the said dresses being precisely similar Il
those which wealthy ladies wear in private so
oicty. What think you of $1,000 for dress
Add to it diamonds and jewelry and laces, anC
woman becomes literally perambulatin
Smyrna times., 1866-01-10

President johnson, it is estimated, received
about 5000 "calls," on New-Y ear $ Day, 10
the blue room OF the White House Negroes
| were admitted at the reception for the FIRST
| time .. ef..4-.. .. +. 81. ...t.'.t. I.
Smyrna times., 1866-01-10

The best toast of the season was, We think,
given by printer, viz: . Woman the faires t
work in all creation. The edition is large and
no maa shgaM bv virhrut cvfg.T 9c........,
Smyrna times., 1866-01-10

|s mn ,
D a d
b "A
! si.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-02-19
WESTERN UNION RAILROAD.
"a 9 ez-5 =. -
Trains run as follows:

Port Byron
Leave. 4 NJ. Arrive. Il p. Nj.
Leave ........2 P NJ. Arrive. p. NJ.
CONNECTIONS
At Liverpool with The Illinois Central Railroad
for Warren, Galena, Dubuque &c.
At Clinton Junction with the Chicago North
western Railroad for Madison, PraIrIe du Chen,
La Crosse &c.
At Racine Junction with the Chicago Mil
waukee Railroad for Milwaukee, ksnosha, Wau-
kegan &c.
Passengers will find this the most direct and ex-
pedItlous route all northern points.
r. a. KNAPP,
Superintendent Western DIVISION,
feb'y lst 1856. Savanna.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-02-19

YOUR BUSINESS WILL INCREASE
IF you Advertise in your County Paper,
yOTR BUSINESS WILL INCREASE
l,' You Advertise in your County Paper.
YOuR BUSINESS WILL INCREASE
IF Won AoSartsc in your County Paper.
YOUR BUSINESS VIII INCREASE
IF YOU Advertise Ill your County Faper
YOUR BUSINESS WILL INCREASE
IL YOU Advertise in your County fnpei-
YOUR BUSINESS WILL INCREASE
IF YOU Advertise in your County Paper
YOUR BUSINESS WILL INCREASE
If YOU ADVERTISED in your County Paper
YOUR BUSINESS WILL INCREASE
II YOU Advertise in your County Paper
YOUR BUSINESS VILE INCREASE
IF YOU Advertise in your County PAPER
YOUR INTEREST Is SUbSERVEu
By Sustaining Your County faPes
YOUR INTEREST," Is SUBSERVED
Bv Sustaining Your County Paper
YOUR INTEREST Is SUBSCRIBED
Bv Sustaining Your County Paper
YOUR INTEREST IS SUBSERVED
Bv Sustaining Your County Paper
YOUR INTEREST is SUBSCRIBED
Ry Susssi ing Your County PsSsr
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-02-19
THO VA AS j. BUF ORD,
eRoPRIETOR OF THE
Rock Island Foundry l. Machine Shop

z EEPS constantly on hand and makes tc
n order, Steam Engines, Boilers, Water
Wheels, Mill Irons of all descriptions, Store
fronts, and all other articles made OF east IRON
Particular attention given to the manufacture OF
Boiler and Shest-lron Work, as we'll as Black
smithing and Steamboat work. Also, dealer in
Pig and Sheet Lead, Block Tin, and Block Zinc
Wrought Irons, Butt and LapWelded Pipes, o a II
szes, Brass Cups, Globes, and all articles usu-
ally found a first class foundry and machine
shop
YOUR BUSINESS WILL, i>:c-f,,.&1
II you Adveatiee II, euat ts.;:ls2
YOUR BUSINESS WILL IfGREAaE
Il you Advertise il your County lag
-FOUR BUSJuESS WILL !NCHEASE
If you Advertise in your County Pane
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-02-19
ISLAND CITY HOTEL.
JOHN STAFFORD, Proprietor.

Corner Jefferson and Illinois Streets.
Rock Island.
rHIS HOUSE is located opposite the
Steamboat Landing, and only one square from
the railroad depot. 1t tie largest Hotel IN the
city, and it's proprietor will s,'are no pains 10
please those who favor him with CaI'
A good Hall, suita bic for first class sohcerts
Dances, Theatrical Performance, Sc, SC, l. con-
nected with this house.
g- Baggage and passengers conveyed to and
from the house free of charge.
A good Barber's Shop, and first class SalooI
and Billiard Tables connected with the house.
JOHN F. STAFFORD, Clerk.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-02-19
Chicago i Rock island Rail Road.
IA q ~ ssss.-yR - sssss.-.,sssss5

On and after Sunday, December 3ls,, 1855,
and until tarther aotice, rainswill leave Rock
Island Depot as follows:
Day Express and Mail train at sos IN. arriving
in Chicago at 4.30
Rock Island freight tram at 9Gl5 arriving IN
Chicago "a 90 m.
Express Freight train, at 5.45 p. m., arriving in
Chicago at $50 4. IN.
Night hxpress atSD p m., arriving in Chicago
at 900 a.
TRAINS ARRIVE Fkosl THE EAST:
Night Express at $40 M, leaving Chicago al
1900 P. Nj,
Express freight train, at 100 a. m, leaving
Chicago at $50 p.
Rock laiaaI freigut AT 1902 m,teaving Chicago
400 p. N.
Day Express and Mali at o.5O p. IN, leaving Chi
caeo at 900
All trains over thls road are in direct
at Chicago with trains over the Michigan South
ern, the Michigan Central, and the Pittsburgh and
ledo, Cleveland, Columbus, Cincinnati, Pittsburgh,
Dunkirk, Buffalo, Niagara Falls, Albany, New
York, PhiladelphIa Baltimore, and W Washington
Also at LaSalie with trains of the Illinois Cen
1ra Road, North to Galena and South to St. Lou
is, and Cairo.
Passengers are reminded of the necessity of Civ
ingd istnct directions the destination of their
baggage ,aso procure tickets before taking their
seats In the cars, the conductors collect fare
only stations the line of the Chicago and Rock
Island Railroad.
u. ii. BEARDsLEY, Asst Gen'l Sup't
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-02-19
Remember,

From tnc Rev. d. Nerrige, Pastor OF the Pass
yQak R1o tBt Church, Philada.l
From the maay res oectsble Recommendations
gwen to Dr.. Al Hands German Bltters, | was IN
licad to g:e Gnam trial. After using several
battles fouad taa m to be good remedy for de-
''isy, and most excellent onic tor the sto mach
b. MERRiGE.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-02-19

Bakery. Confectionery
AND
CITY RESTAURANT.
FESHE undersigned respectfully informs the
- people of Rock Island and vicinity that
ne has opened a new establishment Illinois
street, between the two book stores where he
will keep
a CONFECTIONERY STORE,
letes OF fruits and fayOring extracts to be found
at similar establishment.
He will also keep
A FIRST CLASS BAKERY.
and furnish all linda of Bread, Fresh Pastry, and
cakes OF every kind, Wedding Cake, Pyramids
trostings, and all sorts OF ornamental work done
to order in the best manner.
ICE CREA MS
of the most peror quality, made to order, and
Private Parties supplied with everything desired,
in the refreshment line.
he will also keep
FIRST CLASS RESTAURANT,
where ladies and gentlemen can be supplied with
Oysters, any style, short notice. Hot Coffee,
and Cold Meats always on hand, and Hot Meals
got lp to order, short notice. Cigars always
hand.
The undersigned believes he can tickle the
palate of the public IN the most satisfactory man
ner, with anything desirable, from a stick OF
dy TO a roast turkey land he respectfully asks q
trial and share of public patronage.
ERNST KRELL.
Rocl Island, Sept 80, dt
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-02-19

Rev, J. S Herman. Of the GERMAN Ref0rmed ed
VnaFca, hutztown, Berks County, Pa, was cured
dyspepsia ottwenty years stan ding.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-02-19

~ ss,ssE SS;;sss;s@s zsss -
Trains run by Chicago time, which is twelve min
utes faster than Davenport time.
ON AND AFTER MONDAY, JAN'Y
I Fist, 1856, and until further notice, trains
will leave Davenport SUNDAYS exeepted) as fol-
lows:
9 % NJ. Express for Kellogg and Washington.
$40 A NJ. freight for Kellogg ''
Trains arrive at Davenport Sundays excepted)
follows:
ABS P. NJ. freight and accommodation from
Kellogg and Washington.
7.30 P. M express from Kellogg and Washing
ton.
An accommodation train will be run every Sat
urdav leaving Iowa City at 500 A. M, returning
leave Davenport for Iowa City and MuscNttre at
$50 P. NJ.
The g. 20 A. NJ. train out of Davenport makes di-
rect connections at kel, ogg, Iowa City and Wash
ingtou, with the Western Stage Company's
Stages for all points west, southwest, aud north
west.
Trains from the west connect at Davenport with
trains of the Chicago & Rock Island Railroad for
all points East North and South.
Passengers reminded of the necessity OF
giving distinct directions to the destination OF
the.rbaggage. Also to procure tickets before TAX
ing their seats in the cars.
A. KIMBALL, Sup't.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-02-19
Bricks s! atrickS!!

r HAVE 900, 900 excellent brick for sale,
| at the Energy Brick Yard-and will contract
or any quantity which may he wanted. Please
give me CALL
VIM. ATKINSON.
Rock island, Oct 10, dwtf.