Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1866-10-11


ffo.plses. thadu't 40 iige thai ;ibs 8nesaY
was 80 weil organized. But rallied, and
went for him, in rayther vigris stile for
my time of life. His parunts lived near by,
and | will simply state Is minits had only
elapst after the first act, when he was car
rid home on shutter. His mamma met
the sollum procession at the door, and after
keerfully looking her offspring over, she
said, "My son, l see it is distinctually.
You've been foolin' round a thrashln' ma
sheen You went in at the place where they
put the grain in, cum out with the straw,
and you got up into the thingamyjig, and
let the horses tired on you, didn't you, my
son ?' The pen of no living orther could
describe that disfornit young mans sitty-
walton more clearer. But / was sorry for
him, and [ went and nussed him till he got
well. His regular original father being alb
sent to the war. / told him I'd be father to
him myself. He smilt sickly smile, and
said I'd already been wuss than two fathers
to him.
| will here observe that fitin orter be allus
avoided, excep' in extreem cases. My prin-
ciple is if man smites on the rlght cheek
I'll turn left to him. prob'ly; but if be in
sinooates that my gram mother wasn't all
right, I'll punch his he'd. But ftln' is
missile bisness, centrally speaking, and
whenever any enterprising countryman OF
mine Gums over here to scoop up Brlton
in the prize ring, Pm allus excessively
tickled when he gets scooped hisself, which
it is a sad fack thus far been the case-my
only sorl er bein' that t'otber Teller wasn't
scooped likewise. It's diff rently with scull-
ing boats, which is manly sport, and
can only explain Mr.. Hammill's recent de-
feat in this country on tie grounds that he
wasn't used to British water. [ hope this
explanation will be entirely uatisfact'ry to
all.
AS remarked afore, I'm getting on well.
Pm aware that I'm in the great metrop lis
of the world, and it doesn't make me un-
happy to admit the fack A man is q ass
who dispoots it. That's all that ails him.
| know there is sum people who cum over
here and snap and snarl about this and that.
know one man who says it is shame and
Disgrace that st. Paurs church isn't older
edifice; he says it should be years and even
ages older than it is but I decline to hold
myself responsible for the conduct of this
idyit simply because he's my countryman.
l spose every civilized country is endowed
with it's full share gibberin' idyits, and it
can't be helpt--leastwise | can't think Of
any effectooal plan of helpin' it.
I'm little sorry you've got politics over
here, but shall not diskuss 'em with no.
body. Tear me to pieces with wild omni-
hus bosses, and won't diskuss 'em. I've
had quite enuff of 'em at home, thank you.
| was at Birmingham t'other night, and
went to the great meetin' for q few minits.
hadn't been in the hall long when stern
looking artizan said to me,
"You ar from Wales ?"
No, told him didn't think I was. A
hidgyis thot flashed over me. was of that
onprincipled taller, and / said" Has my
clothin' Welchy uppearance?'
tsNot by no MEANS" he answered, and
then he said, "And what is your opinyin
of the present crisis 2"
said, 81 don't zackly know. Have you
got it very bad ?"
He replied, "Sir, it is sweepin' over Eng
land like the Cymoon Of the desertw
"Wall," l said, let it sweep"
He ceased me by the arm, and said,
Let us glance at hist'ry. 1t is now some
1000 year"
ais it, indeed ?" l replied
"Listen!" he fercely cried; "it is only
q little over 1000 years since"
"Oh, bother" | remarked. sslet us go
out and get some beer?"
"No sir. want no gross and sensual
beer. I'll not move from this spot till can
vote. Who ar your"
handed him my card, which, in addition
to my name, contains elabrit description
of my show. Now, sir" proudly said,
'syou know me ?"
81 sollumly swear" he sternly replied,
that never heard of you, or your show,
in my life'
"And this man." cried bitterly, " calls
hisself a intelligent mnn, and thinks he orter
be allowed to vote What boiler mock
ery!"
I've no objection to every intelligent man
votin' if he wants to. It's pleasant amoose-
ment, no doubt; but there is those who ig-
rance is so dense and loathsum that they
shouldn't be trusted with ballit any more
than my trained serpunts should be trusted
with child to play with.
went to the station, with @ view Of re-
turnin' to town on the cars. "This way,
SIR" said the guard "here you ar" and
he pinted to first-class carrige, the sole
ockepant of which was rayther PROPOSES
sim female of about 80 summers.
"No, / thank you,' ernestly replied,
81 prefer to walk.
/ am, dear sir,
Very respectively, yours,
ARTEMUs WARD.