The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1866-11-17
Ariemus ~ ard I'm England.
His Visits 10 the Tomb of Shakes-
as-- pearc.

His Visits to the Tomb Of Shakes
Mr. Punch, my dear SIR 1--we been ling~
bring BY the Tomb of the lamented Shakes
rhere.
i do not hesitate to pronounce it as such.
You may make any use of this opinion
that you see fit. If you think its publication
will subswerve the cause of li.eratoor, you
may publicate it.
told nv wife Betsey when l left home
last should 80 to.,he birthplace of the orthur
of Otheiler ard other plays. She said that
rs long As kept out Of Newgate she didn't
care where went. But said don't you
know he was the greatest poit that ever lived.
Not one of these common potts, like that
young idyit who writes verses t. OUT daught-
cr, about the roses that growses, and the
breezes as blowses--but boss poit-also a
philosopher, also a man who knew q great
de Al about everything.
She was packing my things at the time.
and the only answer she made me was to ask
me if l was goiu' to carry both of my red
flannel night caps.
Yes. I've been to Siratford onto the Avon,
the birthplace of Shakespeare. Mr. S. is
now no more. He's been dead over three
hundred years. The people OF his native
town are justly proud of him. They cherish
his men ry and them as sells picturs of his
birth place, &c, make it profitable cherishin
it. Almost every body buys pictur to put
into their albion.
As l stood gazing on the spot where Shak.
e.pherc is sposed to have fell down off the
ice and hurt himself when boy,-this spot
cannot be bought-the town authorizes say
it shall never be taken from Stratford. /
wondered if three hundred years hence pict
ures of my birthplace will be in demand p
Will the people of my rative town be proud
of me in three hundred years. / guess they
won't short of that time, because they say.
,he fat man weighin' 1000 pounds which
exhibited there was stuffed out with pIIler,
and cushions, which he sail one very hot day
in July. %, brother 1 can't stand this and
commenced puIlln the pliers out from under
his wcskit, and heavIn 'em at the audience.
I never saw a man lose flesh so fast in nv
life. The audience said | WAS pretty man
TO come chiselin' my own townsnen in that
way. / said, DO not be angry, teller citi-
zsns; Iexhibited him simply work of
art | simply wished to show you that man
-sGH grow fat without the aid of cod-iiver
oil But they wouldn't listen to me. They
nre II low and grovclin' set of pcopl,. who
excite feelin' of loathin' in every breast
where lofty emotions and original ideas have
a hidin' place.
stopped at bennington, few minits on
my way to Stratford onto the Avon, and a
very beautiful town it is. i went into shoe
shop to make purchis. and as entered |
saw over the door those dear familiar words,
BY Appointment II. Il. II. ! and | said o
the man, squire excuse me, but this is too
much. have seen in London four hundred
boots and shoes by appointment, H. r. H.,
and now you're at it. 1t Is simply onpossible
that the prince can wear 400 pairs of boots.
Don't tell me- l said, in a voice choked with
emotion -'Oh, do not tell me that you also
make boots for him. Say slippers, say that
ven mend boot now and then for him, but
do not tell me tina; you make 'em reg lar for
him.
The man smit, and said l didn't under
stand th.se things. He said 1 perhaps had
hot noticed in London that dealers in all
'Oh, hadn't I?' Then a sudden thought
flashed over me. Il have i,v said, when
the prime. walks through stree, he no doubt
looks at the shop windows
The man said. NO doubt
And the enterprisin iradesman.' I con;in
ued, the moment ,hc prince gets cut of sight
rushes franticaliy AID has tin sign painted,
By Appointment, H. r. H.. 1t is a beau
tiful, great idee.
then bought pair OF shoe strings, and
wringing the shopman's honest hand, l
.star,ed for the tomb of Shakespeare in hir>
ed fly. 1t looked however more like spi-
der.
And this said, as / stood IN the old
churchyard at Stratford, beside a tombstone,
this marks the spot where lies William W.
Shakespeare. Alars | and this is the spot
where e-
You've got the wrong grave said Il man
"a worthy villager. Shakespeare is buried
inside the church.
oh | said, =, boy told me this was it,
The boy larfed aud put the shilling d given
him into bis left eye in an inglorious manner.
and commenced moyin' ackwards towards
the street.
/ pursood and captured him, and after
talking TO him spell in a sarcastic style, l
let him went.
The old church was damp and chill. 1t
was rainin.' The only person there when 1
entered was a fine bluff old gentleman. who
was talkin' in excited manner TO fashion
able dressed young man. No, Ernest Men
tresser,' the old gentleman said, 1T is idle to
pursee this subject no further. You can
never marry my daughter. You were seen
last Monday in Piccadilly without umbrel>
Ter. l said then as | Say now, any young
man rs venturs out in a uncertain climit like
this without a umbreller. lacks, foresight, eau
ton. strength of mind and stability. and he
is not the proper person to intrust daught-
er's happiness.
/ slapped the old gentleman on the shosl-
der. and l SAID. You re right! You are one
of those kind of men, you are,
He wheeled suddenly round, and in an in
dignant voice, Go way, GO way! This is a
privil intervoo.
didn't stop to enrich the old gentleman's
mind with my conversation. sort of infer
red that he wasn't inclined to listen TO me,
and so | went on. But he was right abou;
the umbrella I'm really delighted with this
grand old country, Mr.. Punch, but you must
admit that it does rain rayther nur,erously
here. Whether this is owing TO a rnoherka
form OF gov ment or not, leave 10 all candid
and onprejudiced persurs to say.
William Shakespeare was born in Strait
ford in 1864. All the commentators, Sbaks-
Perian scholers. etsetery, are agreed on this,
which is about the only thing they are agreed
on in regard to HIM, except that his mantal
hasnt fallen onto any poet or dramstist har1
enough to hurt said poe. or draniatist much.
And thero Is no doubt if these commentaries
and persons coutinuer investigatin' Shaks-
peares career, We shall not, IN doc time,
know anything about il at ALL When a
mere lad liiile William attended the gram,
mar school, betause, as he said. the grammar
tehool wouldn't attend him. This remarka-
t,te -re,sark. t,o,.,i,, fruru nm. a., -ouus and