The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1866-11-09

YOU could manage it SO as TO let us meet
at your house some evening wthom
either Of us being aarare that tie other wa
Iresentr'
Still another pair of lovers claim Oul
attention. The young lady, less huStered
than her admirer, addressed him in these
terms: Il like You exceedingly, but
cannot quit my home | am IA widow.
only darling, and no husband could equal
my parent in kindness" 'Nhe may be
kind replied he wooer enthusiastically.
but be my wife-we will all live togeth-
er, and see if don't Jeot you' motter ~
lhe next lriShman who comes under
our notice Is married. but not very hap
pllv. Having entered into holy bonds at
the youthful age Of nineteen. he discovers
that 1t Is much easier to get the ceremony
performed than atterward to maintain an
esa bilshment. Repenting him that he
had procured wife without the means of
supporting her, he declares that he will
never marry so young again if he lives to
the age of Methuseah.
The next sight we get into the cares
and troubles that married life is heir to Is
through the mild remonStrance of a Hi
herman Paterfamilias. who declares to his
wife that he really wishes the children
could be kept in the Nursery while he is
at home. "althongh." he considerately
says, II ~0uM not object to heir nose il
heY wouhi only keep qmd.r .r'
We shall now proceed To Dublin, where
doubtless still resides that old bergar-
woman who. whilst soliciting charity, de
clared she was the mother of si1 small
children and a hu>Jvmd
We wonder was this lady any ;relation
to the poor lrishman who offered his only
old saucepan tor sale his children gather
INC round him inquired why he did Sc.
''Ah.my honev>." said he. ':Sure wouldn't
be atther panlin' with it if it wasn't to Get
some money TO buy somethin' to put in
it,"
1t was in Dublin city that our good
humored maidot-all-work. Molly. once re-
lated 10 her Young mistress most mar
vclIons dream she bad had the night be-
fore.
'Pooh, pooh cries the latter at its
conclusion you must have been asleep.
Molly, when you dreamed such non
Sense."
"lndeed, was not, them" replies the
Indignant Molly; Il was just as wide
AWAKE is ain this minute
We are now goins to introduce to YOU
what in drapcrs pariance would be called
4 ''chorcc variety" and which we only
wish. i'll displaying our light, ianta>tic
stores, We could recommend with half the
address with which Il draper OF my
once recommended Il certain
rich material for ladies dresses to Il cu>lo-
mer. "Madam," said he. it will wear
forever. and make Il petticoat OF ii after
ward"
This draper, however, is almost outdone
by an entcrpri>ing turrier. who fntimatc>
to ali such ladies aS desire genuine iur>.
that he will make mutfS. boa<. etc. ont Of
tcd' oWn SKINS"
The next bull that occurs 10 me was
uttered by Il poor woman, who. in all the
pride and glory OF her maternal heart waS
declaring to a kind-hearted listener thai
since the world was Il world there never
was such Il clever boy as her Bill-he had
Just made two chairs and a fiddle out of his
own head, and had plenty OF wood left for
another
\ similar mechanical genius had that
irish carpenter in America, who. IN send
ing his little account to Il farmer. for
whom he had been working. informed him
that it was ''ior hanging two barlldoor>
ad hm>eJ, seven houS, one dollar and a
half"
In direct con;radistincticn to this
knowledgcd attempt at Selt-deotructiun We
have the story of Il certain physician, who,
condGclin. a post-mo'tcm examination IN Il
ease OF intanticidc, reported that he was
unable to discover whether the child was
a'jre at the time of It's d~tM or not
''AS was 9oing over the bridge the
other day" said Il native OF Erin, Il met
Pat llewinS. 'llewins,' says |. how are
youE Pretty well, thank You, DonncIIy.
says he. 'Donnelly.' says |, that's not
my name. Faith, then, 20 more i, mimc
lIcwin>.' So with that we looked at aich
other agin, an sure enough ii was nay
ther Of us. And where is the bull in that,
now ~
1t must have been a twin-si>ter OF this
gentleman who, having been nearly drown
ed by falling into well. committed a
very rich bull when she piously and thank
fully declared that onLytw PrOrdence o,d
an0thc' ~oDum she never would have GOT
out.
Horace Walpolc records in his 'Walpo-
llama an Irish bull, which he pronounces
to be the Jest he ever met with. II hate
the woman," said gentleman, looking at
Il person whc had been his nurse "Ihote
her, for mhcn ,ras child she changed me
at nUse.' This was indeed a perplexing
assertion but we have Il similar instance
recorded in the autobiography of an Ii>h-
man, who gravely informs us that he
ran away early in life from his father,
on discovering he was only his uncle
Again, poor Irish lad, complaining of
the harsh behavior of his father, declares
he Just treats him Us if he were his son by
another father and mother
The next bull we record Is redolent of
the soil, and proves that in Ireland at