Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1866-03-14

COHIdeEt 40 any OetteT, ana II ne cOulu 90 Del
ter he vas to cum back and girs me the pref
erense. The skamp went eff and sold th
wheat to Kohen for dollar and FIVE cent;
and Kohen knowd all about his contrakt wit
me. Me and him like to have ct, and per
haps would if hadent been puny; but "
finally left it all to Josh Billins to arbytrate
Old Josh. deliberated on the thing for tire
days and nights, and finally brot in an aware
that Kohen should have the wheat, and
should hav tic p, eter:nce. haint submitte'
no more cases to arbitration since, and m,
advice to all peepul is to arbytrate nuthin
your case is honest, for there amt no judg
there to keep one man from strikin the other
An honest man don't. stand no chance M
where exseppin in court house with q goot
lawyer to back him. The motto of this cas-
is never to arbytrate nutbin but bad case
and take good lawyers advice and pay hin
for it before you do that.
But got Fretman-I dident, but my law
yer Marks did. Fretman WIG nutmeg
skoolteachor who had g6se round my nabor
hood with lis skool artikles, and I put dowr
for Troup and Calhoun to 60, and intended tc
send seven or eight more il he proved him
self right. soon found that the little nulli.
fer wascnt beleyin in anything, and on in.
quiry I found that Nutmeg was givin power
full long reccsses, and was employin his time
chiefly in carryin on with tolerable sizd fe
male gal that was goin to him. Troup sed
he heard the gal equeel herself one dav, and
he knowd Fretman was squeezin of her.
don't mind our boys squeezin Of the Yankee
gals, but I'llbe blamed il the Yankees shall
be squceziu ourn. So Igot raad ard took
the childern away. At the end'cf the term
Fretman sued me for eighteen dollars, and
hired cheap lawyer to collekt it. Before
this time had learned some sense about o
lawyer, SO I hired good one, and spred my
pocket book dnwn before him, and told him
to take what would satisfy him. And he TUX.
Old Phil Davis was the jestice. Marks made
the opern speech to the effek that every pro-
fessional man ought to be able to illustrate
his trade, and he therefore proposed to put
Mr.. Fretman on the stand and spell Kim.
This motion were fout hard, but it agreed
with old Phil's notions Of "high jestice,'' and
says lie, .AIr. Fretman you will have tospell
sur" Mark then swore him, that he would
give true evidence in this casc and that be
would spell every word in Dan'l Webster's
spellin book corI'ektly 10 the best of his knowl
edge and belief so help him, &c. l saw then
that he wer :remblia all over like cold wet
tisik :" we'll he spelt it, putin in pA and
til and Gh and I'll, and don't know
Whist all. aud thou ht he was gone up the
first pop, but Marks said it was right. He
then spet him right straight along on all
sorts OF big words, aud little words, and
long words, and short words, and Afterwards
and be knowd EN- all, Till finally Marks ses,
@Now sur spell OntponlpYnus,lk." Fretman
drawl a long breth and scd it wasent in The
6oell. Marks proved it waa by an cid preacher
who was settin b7 and old Phil spoke up with
power, sos, Mr. Fretman you must spell it,
sur" FretmaR Was swettin like run
down. G!ly:se He TUX olae passsatit tfaRd atisstSs
coIao a doNn,
s Tou'9e lost your case" And shore enuf5
old Phil. give verdiE aginst himlike darn.
Marks Sas Z whale in his way. At that
ssrnc court be vas about 10 nanspit doktor
bekaus he dideut have his dlpletny, and the
doktor beg'd the court for time to 60 home
after it. lie rode seven miles and back as
hard as he could lick it, and when be. handed
it over 10 Marks very triumfantly, Marks ses,
/" Ncw, sur, you siirts;ie tie s!aDd and trans
late this Lain iitu English, 60 that the sourt
may understand it." Well, he jest caved, for
he couldent do it.
Hs lost his caso in too mincts, for the old
squire $aid that a doktor who couldent read
hIs dipo,ney had no moro right to praktis
than o Ipagist.:s..c who couldent read The
license had to jiro two couple tlscsher, This
is a w.rnin TO al professional meu to under
stand their bisncss, and the neral of the case
is, that man oug Intent TO be squcezin the
gals when anybody can see him. Bu' don't
want it understood th tim agin it on proper
okkashions and in tender manner. There
amt DO sgueclin necessary.
But mpst clgsc this brief epistlc.
Yours, truly, BILL ARE.
P. ST. forgot to mention that the Freed
mans Buro have had me UP because Mrs.
ARP turned off her nurse for not talkin baby
talk to her chile. She said that my wife
throwd cheer at her head. The lyin hussy
was there, a wearin Mrs. Arps collar and
shawl that she'd stole. pinled EN- out to
the Buro, AMI left in defiant Disgust. The
moral of this is TO stand your gro8p u or
nurse your babies yourself 3. A.