The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1866-02-24
Amusing.


The way in which words are often divid-
ed, when set to music, sometimes produces
rather q ludicrous effect a stranger was
surprised on hearing a congregation, compOs
ed chiefly of women, cry out:
oh for a man !
Oh for a man
Oh for mansion in the skies =
While on another occasion choir sang out
to the top of their ability
Wen catch the flee
Wen catch the flee
Wen catch the fee ting hours =
And still on another occasion, the congrcga~
ton mostly men:
Send down Sal
Send down Sal
Send down salvation from above n
poet, after looking about over life, has
come to the following rhyming conclusion
8a sq! s 56a e. for s6 82ia9 would would
"WeI,- my friend, and so are barrels, but
nevertheless they have their uses, quietly
replied the doctor.
A wave on which many poor fellow has
been carried away is the wave Of q lace
edged cambria handkerchief.
An old gentleman of great experience
says that he Is never satisfied that a lady
understands a kiss unless he has it from her
own mouth.
An itinerant preacher, who rambled in his
sermon, when requested to stick to his text
replied that " scattering shot would hit the
most birds"
" OF what use are forms ~ exclaimed q
pctulent legislator to DR. Franklin you
cannot deny that they-ar often mere empty
things ! !"
An Irishman being asked in court for his
certificate of marriage, showed a big scar on
his head about the shape Of a shovel which
was satisfactory.
Whatever we may think of womans rights
to vote and legislate, there can be no disput-
| ing her right to bare arms-and the prettier
| the better and more irresistible.
What is the difference between cat and
I a document One has clws at the end of
his paws, and the other has pauses at the
end of his clauses.
If friend wants to borrow an umbrella,
| send for policeman at once and give him
in charge. 1t viii guard against a repeti-
ton Of the error.
Should you happen in a discussion to find
you ond your opponent are likely to take op-
posite views, knock him down at once, for
fear you should be led into a quarrel
An Irishman got out of the carriage at a
railway station for Refreshments, unfortu-
nately the bell rang and the the train left
before he had finished his repast.
" Hould on cried Pat, as he ran like a
mailman after the train; hould on, ye
murtherin' ould stame ingin-ye've got a
passenger on board that's left behind.
Ladies and Gentlemen-At recent fes
tive meeting married man, who ought to
have known better, proposed: The ladies
the beings who divide our sorrow, double
our Joys, and treble our expenses Upon
! which lady proposed " The gentlemen
the sensitive individuals who divide our
time, double our cares, and treble our
troubles" The married man didn't stop to
hear any more.
A woman's heart Is the true plate for q
mans likeness An instant gives the i'm
preston, and an age Of sorrow and change
cannot elace it.
A woman's grief is often very short i
she loses her husband, she pines only for Z
second
What dress should a lady procure in or.
der to keep her wardrobe clean 4 laun-
dress "a lawn dress.)
The lost Tongue-Not far from Sever
Oaks there lives man whose spouse one
| day got IN pet ana refused 10 speak IOl
eight or ten days. Well, the husband, poor
fellow although her silence sometimes used
to be most deyoutly wished for, wished t.
hear again the clapper Of that little bell
that sometimes made his ears tinGle; she
was inexorable At last he hit upon an ex
pedient that brought her to her speech
again She was very neat and tidy about
her furniture and apparel lie stepped int
another room, opened a bureau, and com
: menced throwing the contents on the floor
/ She came in when be had nearly completed
/ his work Of tumbling out silks, handker
chiefs, etc, and without thinking, screamed
out, A" Mercy what in the world are you do
ing
Nothing, he replied, quite eoolly
! " only looking for my wifes tongue, which
Al & ~