Sugar planter. [volume] (West Baton Rouge [i.e. Port Allen, West Baton Rouge Parish, La.]) 1856-1925, 1866-05-19
+. A MODERN ANANIAS.
BY A. JAX, ESQ.

/ y
strong original genius, aud indefatigable
perseverance and application had acquir'
ed the reputation Of being the greatest
liar that ever existed in the State Of.
Whenever be made his appearance there
fore, at muster or training, he was sure
to be surrounded by host of eager list
eners. He greatly excelled the renown-
ed Munchausen, who simply told extrava-
giant stories, and sometimes blundered on
the truth. Steve, On. the other hand,
never told a word Of trnth, even by mis-
take, in all his life, and lied circumstan-
cialIy, and in every particular. In short,
| it came to him as natural as. eating and
thinking, or as breathing, for he not only
lied to listeners, but even when he had
no other person to talk to, he would tell
lies to himself, just to keep his hand in.
This fact was ascertaiued beyond a
doubt by bis denying it in the most solemn
manner when somebody accused him bin Of
the practice. 80 NJ ~ 'g'
1t was Mr.. Stevens good fortune one
time to lose q great deal of money on a
horse race. This made him feel uneom:
monty serious, so he went to a camp
meeting, which was held about five miles
from his residence, to see if he could
make up little by shaking props' with
the boys. They happened, however. to
be too much. for him that time, and be
was completely cleaned out. This made
our friend feel, if possible, more serious
than ever, and as there happened to be a
powerful preacher, there, who could make
himself heard at the distance Of q mile,
he thought he would turn over a new
leaf at once. When he got home, there
fore, the first thug he did was to send
for the minister. The worthy man came,
and to his amazement found that Stevens
wanted TO join the church
81 have no hesitation to laying, your
proposition before the BRETHREN said the
good old man, trying to smother a laugh
'Of course you haiDt:' responded Steve,
with great confidence.
And if you could give satisfactory
evidence of the amendment, Mr.. Stevens
continued the minister, emphasizing the
word, they might take you on probation,
at any rate, We have a meeting tonight,
and can let you know tomorrow
Probation be d-dogged calculated
Steve as the minister beat hasty retreat;
why can't they let me jine at once, while
l feel like it?' ..#=
The proposition, as might have been
expected, created great sensation
There was hardly member of the church,
male or female, who had not at some time
Or other, been victimized by Stephens
slanderous tongue, and they could hardly
hear bis name with patience Some of them
went SO far as to say that if be Joined
they. would leave, and that settled the
matter, for they were among the fore
handed who could afford to loose them ?
However, to avoid any trouble with an
unscrupulous fellowilike Steve it was re-
solved to breathe the matter to him as
gently as possible. Two Of the most res
pectable men in the church were appoint
ed to call orphim, and it was generally
understood, such was their known mild
ness of disposition, that every possible
excuse consistent with truth would be
made for not receiving him. ..
The rest of the story must be told in
Steve own words. fl 49, 81 "2:5ata
when old Deacon Peabody came along
I sat in the back door with a hoe handle
and | hope to suffer if I wasn't mad
enough to rear right up A cousin of
my wife's sister was a member, had come
over and told us all about it, s''# s3sf
i'Good mornin' Mr.. Stevens, says the
old hypocrite with. a face as long as
a yard of pnmp water. !. ri .r,afse,
r. Isaid nothing but kept on whiting.
I came down to see you this morning.
says he. II 80 tiG9si ot gGdtoF fs1Iss
Wall says l, how, do you like my
looks ? -. ~. ri ,a,., "a ilayS.
co. says he, what l mean is, that |
came down to'laborr With you 80 !.
l'Work away, then; why don't you? =
was all be got out o me. aa.f sssia
But, Mr.. Stevens said he, very sol
EMMY, the church sent me down to talk
with you a minute .'1 ''..
,'Wal, you've been talkin' for more than
five minutes, Deacon Peabody; says I,
are you goin' to beginr
The old Israelite looked mad enough
to bite my head off at a snap. but he
thought it best to keep cool as he drew
a long breath and went on: "7at gz81
Nobody wants to hurt your feelins' or
make any trouble, Mr. Stevens, but the