The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1866-02-01
Questions and Answers.
Some Wise, bat Mostly Otherwise.

III, according TO Dam WelleE, SOUee DC a
leg of mutton aud trimmings, what is a
soIree daaSGnte Ditto, with capers, to be
sure.
Why are country girls cheeks like good
print dress Because they are warranted to
wash and retain their color.
Why is wit like Chinese lady's foot
Because brevity is the sole OF it.
What kind of paper resembles sneeze
Tissue paper.
Why is the letter S like thunder? Be-
cause it makes our cream sour cream.
Which is the most profitable of all busin-
esses The shoe for every pair is sOled be
fore it is finished.
Why are opera dancers like parricides
Because they execute their pas.
Why may foolish fellow reckon on hav-
ing the sympathy of halter Because a
halter has always felt for a fellow in want
of head piece.
Why is the coal scuttle which Mary has
conveyed from the kitchen to the drawing
room like an infant put out to dry nurse
Because it is brought up by hand
What portion OF the trimming of a ladys
dress resembles East India sherry of the
FIRST quality ? That which goes round the
cape.
Why is the Atlantic cable in its present
condition like a schooImaster Because it
is supported by buoys (boys).
Why is ones fathers nose like a well
trained child Because it is always under a
parents eye.
When may the hand of a barometer be
supposed to be engaged In commercial tran
sactions When it's on Change
If you detected false ghost, ON what
ground could you accuse him of murderous
intentions ? Because it was trying to fright
en- Qry ten) people.
What two letters would destroy all the
Others, if allowed to do 80 D K.
When is Echo like visiting scquaiut
ance When she returns your call.
Why is an offering like matrimonial ell
gagement Because it begins with an offer
and ends with ring.
What is the gentest kind of spur A viii
sper
Why is hirt like hollow India-rub
her ball Because she is very empty and
has great deal of bounce.
Why are an ear of wheat and an oak SIM
liar in origin Because they both spring
from corn.
When does Truth cease to be truth
When it sizes at the bottom of we'll"
Why is the ballad of Cock Robins death
like the letter q? Because it makes clark
of the lark.
Why are A, E and U, the handsomest Of
the vowels Because you cannot have
beauty without them.
Why should Volunteers especially dis
like the letter T Because it turns rifles in
to trihes.
Why is the letter G like a generous fairy ?
Be cause it turns ash into cash.
When are ladies cut to pieces When
they are better halves.
Why is WORKOUT shoe like ancient
Greece? Because 1t once had Scion (sole-V
on).
Why is man lifting side of bacon off
hook to be pitied Because he is poor
creature (pork reacher)
What is the only jam schoolboy will
not eat Door jamb.
How would you measure your lovers sim
certify By his signs.
Why is nun invariably disappointed
with her mode of life Because tit quo end
If CELL"
Why is man taking nap like man
reading paper Because he is enjoying
his (s)nooze.
Why is one who loves praise, and abom-
mates all sorts of verse, like celebrated
corner of Westminster Abbey ? Because he
is poet (s) corner.
What is the difference between a spider
and duck One bias its feet perpetually
on a web, and the other web perpetually
on its feet.
When do you see what is invisible? When
you see how you feel.
| Why is the fish an eccentric animal Be-
cause he will have his Q)whim.
| Why is soldier acting in compliance
with an order given him, like his most for
midable weapon? Because he's ''obeyin' IT.
"a bayonet).
Why is the letter L like priceless gem ?
Because it's Invaluable
What is the difference between chatter
ing lover and pedestrian excursion through
Wales One is talking wooer and the 9TH
er is walking tour.
Why is man who asserts his right to a
certain letter Of the alphabet like one who
calls out Because he X-claims.
Why is poker like an angry word Be-
cause it often stirs up smouldering fire.
/ Why IS beggar prevented by his name
from repairing his clothes Because he's q
mend-i- can't.
If you make perforation through vol
ume of Shakespeare, whyis that a mathe-
NAUTICAL absurdity7 Because the part is
greater than the hole.
Which is the most wonderful animal in q
farm-yard :? A pig, because he is killed
first and cured afterwards.
Why must an analytical chemist be a fe-
male Because if he's not an analyzer (Ann
Eliza he must be 6 charlatan Charlotte
ANN.
Which is the noisiest shop in the neigh.
borhood The confectioners because there
il always am ice Co cream there.
When may fisherman who has caught
only few fish be better off than one who
has landed a greater number ? When be
has taken good eel more than the other.
Why does chicken three weeks, three
days and three hours old walk across the
road To get to the other SIDE
What is the difference between a piece Of
honeycomb and black eye One is pro.
duced by the laboring bee, and the other by
a belaboring.
What is the difference between accepted
and rejected lovers? The accepted kisses
the misses, and the rejected misses the kiss
es.
What is the difference between wealthy
topper and skillful miner One turns biz
gold into quarts and the other turns hi
quartz into gold.
WHAT THE PROCLAMATION OF EMANoIPA
TON DID FOR THE CoUNTRY.-On the 22nC
inst. Senator Wilson of Massachusetts, mad
this statement in the Senate:
Il remember being in the room of Mr.
Lincoln when an eminent American Just re
turned from abroad was presented to him
Tie said to Mr.. Lincoln, L have spent man,
) month in England and France, and cam
to tell you that your Proclamation of Eman