Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1866-03-17

| Facts and Fanclea.
Was Adam the first person created, or
was Eve the first maid
Why is a chicken pie like gunsmth's
store? Because it contains fowl-n pie.
| ceS.
| Why is the letter L like a priceless
gem Because it's invaluable.
When your hair is in disorder what
heather deity should you name? Comus
(comb us.)
Why is a lady Of fashion like sue
cessful sportsman Because she bags the
hair.
Death comes TO a good man to relieve
him: it comes to bad man to relieve
society.
Some wives are so Jealous that they
don't like their spouses to ambrace a fair
opportunity.
Why have you a RICH, to pick pain
ters pocket? Because be has picked
yours (pic,ures).
What dish may you always conclude
table you meet it? Poached eggs.
II never was ruined but twice" said
wit; "once when lost q law suit. and
once when | gained one.
Why is it easy to break into an old
mans house? Because his gait" is bro
ken and his "!ocks' are few.
Why is fly the TALES. Of insects? Be.
cause he stands over six feet without
| shoes or stockings.
What is the difference between a spend
| thrift aud tea,her-bed ? Oue is hard up
and the other sot, down.
If You would be known and no, know,
vegctate in village if you would know
and cot he known, live in city.
! 1t Is a great comfort to a man with but
o dollar 10 bis poke, to know that if he
| cannot invest in five twsn.ies be can in
twenty-ives
What is the difference between music
and gambling? In music you meet with
"A sharp, but in gambling with shar-
per.
There is phrenolosist in London who
can tell the contents of barrel by ex-
aiming the head. lie makes the exam
nation with gimlet.
What is the difference between q veal
thy topper and sxillful miner? One turns
hisgoId into quarts and the other turns
bis quartz into gold.
Why must an analytical chemis. be q
female? Because if he's not an analyser
tAnn EEza) he must be a charla,an
Charlotte ANN
What distinguished warrior mentioned
in Scripture was without father or moth
err? Joshua for he was the son of Nun
The following is given as freman's
toast The Ladies-The onl7 incendia-
res wIo kndle flame which water will
not extinguish.'
Wba, is the difference between piece
of hontycomb and black eye? Oae is
| produced by . lahoring bee, a:1 the 9th
er By belabolirg.
What is the difference between a coupe
of mermaids and su INNER and autu mo
| The former are two sea daughters aud lac
| i1ltSt atc wv SSa-sSLS.
A miner who lately came from Virginia
| City says vegetation is so scarce in that
| region that two mullen stalks aud q
| bunch Of tLizt,es are called a grove
A Georgia Judge lately threatened
lawyer for contempt OF court. Il have
expressed no contemp: for the court"
said the lawyer; "un the contrary have
carefully concealed my feelings
A topper was heard to soliloquize las.
autumn in the following strain
Leaves have their time TO fall,
And so lik ewise have |;
The reason, too, S the same,
Both comes of getting dry
| But here's the difference 'twixt them aid
me,
fall more harder and more frequently.
The late John A. Hernand was a great
literary bore, wrote epic poems with start.
ling titles, which he was accustomed to
recite to the great annoyance Of his friends.
| One day ho said to Douglas Jerrold did
you ever read my 'Descen: into Hell p"
mo, 'rep|ed Jerrold, "but should like
very much to see it u
working for bare lie' is degned to be
making clothes for new baby.
I'm gone sucker" as The child said
when his mother weaned him.
An Irish drummer who now and then in
dalged in a noesin Of RICH. good poteen,
was accosted by the reviewing General
"Wbat makes your nose so red p
please yer honor replied Pat, al
ways blush when speak to general Of
fcers.
"Mother,' said little Ned, one morn.
ing, after having fallen out Of bed, Il
think know why ! fell out Of bed, last
night. l. was because slept to, near
where got in Mnsing little while
as if in doubt whether he had given the
right explanation, he added: mo, that
VAS not the reason it was becauss l
slept too nea. whcro fell out