Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1866-01-12
.r,,wu. ward-Hi. Autobiography.
NEW York, Orsust Slct.

Dr.. Sr:-Ers, into which you ask me
to send 700 sum leadin' insidents in mi
life. so 700 can rite mi Biogfry, for the
papers, KUN dooly to hand. I have no
doub. that a article onto my life, gram
mattically jerked, and properly punktoo-
ated. would be a addishun into the chois
li,eratoor Of the da.
Tu the yooth Of Ameriky it wood be
yalubull as shown how hi a pinnykle Of
fame a man can reach who commenst his
career with a small canvass tent and q Pc
green OK. which he rubbed off while
scratchin' hisself agin the center pole.
causin' in Railway. \. j., q discriminatin'
mob to say humbugs wood go down in
them villages. The OK resoomed agricul.
tooral pursoots shortly afterwards.
Inext tried my hand at givin' blind man
concerts, appeerin' as the poor blind man
miself. But the infamus cuss that l hired
to Iced me round towns in the day time
too excite sympathy, drank freely OF
spiritus Ticker %unbenowns too me one day,
and while under the ~inflooence he led me
into a kanal. l had either to tair the
green bandage from my eyes, or be
NEOlllN. L III Y 4 ~ ~
In wri,in' about these things. Mr.. Ed
dyter. l kinder smooth em over. Speek
Of them as excentricitys Of genius.
My next ventur wood hav bin a success
if l hadn't tried too doc to much. l got
up a series of wax-fggers, and amung
others one of Sockrates. l tho't a wax
fgcer of Old Sock would be poplar with
eddyca,ed people, but unfortunitly l put
on a brown linen buster and a L. S. Army
regulashun cap on him. which people with
classycle eddycaskuns said il was a farce.
This enterprise was unfortunit in luther
respecks.
4, a certain town. l advertised q wax
fgger of the Honorable Amos Perkins,
who was a railroad president, and a CRATE
person in them parts. But 1t sppeered l
had shown the same fgger for a Pirut
named Gibbs, in that town the previous
season, which created a intense toomult,
& the audience remarked SHANE unto
me-" s. other statements Of similarness. l
tried TO mollify them. l told EN- eny
family possessin' children mite have my
tiger TO play with half a day, & l wouldn't
charge EN- a cent but alars it was of no
avail. I was forced to leve, and l infer
from a article in THE Advertiser" of
tina, town. in which the eddytur says
" Al,ho' time has silvered this mans head
with frost. he still brazenly wallows in
infamy. Still are his snakes stuffed, and
his wax works unreliable. We are glad
that he has concluded TO never revisit our
town. although incredible as it may ap-
peer, the fellow did contemplate doing 80
las, summer ; when, still true to the craven
instincts Of his black heart, he rote the
hireling knaves across the street to know
what they would charge for 400 small
bills, to be done on yellow paper! We
shall refer TO this matter again"
I say, l infer from this ar,ikle that a
prejudiss still exists agin me in that town.
will not speak Of my once being in
straitened circumstances in a certain own
And Of my endevorin' to accumulate welth
by le,,in' myself to a Sabbath School pic
mic to sing ballads adapted to the under
standin' of the little children, accompanin'
myself on a clarone,te-which l forgot
where I was one day, singin' instead Of
"Oh, how pleasant 20 be a little child"
Kip; snap-set en- up agiu,
Right in the middle OF a three.cent pic"
which mistake added too the fact I coold-
mt play onto the %claronette, except maxim
i, howl dismal. broke up the pic mic and
said children's voices choked with sobs
and emotions, where was their home and
where was their pa and said be quiet,
dear children, I am your pa, which made
a young woman, with too twins by her
side, say very angrily, Good heavens for
bid that you shoold ever be the pa Of any
of these innocent ones, unless it is desira-
bic for them to expire ignominyusly upon
too a murderers gallus."
1 say l will not speak Of this. Let it be
Berried in Oblyviun.
In your article, Mr.. Eddytur tell them
what kind of q man l am.
II 700 see fit to c~riticise my Show speek
your mind freely. I don't object to krit-
cism. Tell the public in a candid and
graceful article that my Show abound' in
moral and s,artlin curiosities, any one OF
whom is wuth bubble the price Of ad-
mishun.
l have thus far spoke Of myself excloo-
sively as a exhibitor.
I was born in the state Of Maine Of par
ents. AS a infant l attracted a great deal
Of attention. The Majors wood stand
over my cradle for hours and say, "How
bright that little face looks! How much
i. nose!" The young ladies would carry
me around in their arms and say l was
muzzer's bezzy darlin and q sweety 'eety
little ting. II WAS nice. tho l wasn't old
enuff to appreciate il. I'm q healthy old
darlin now.
l have alters sustained a good moral
character. l was never a railroad director
in my life.
Altho il early life I did not invariably
conine myself too truth in small bills, l
have gradually been growing respectablier
and respectablier every year. l luv my
children, and never mistake another mans
wife for my own. I'm not a member OF
any meetin house; but firmly believe in
meetin houses, and I shouldn't feel safe TO
take a dose Of laudnum and lay dow in
the street of a village that hadn't any with
a thousand dollars in my pocket.
Ny temperament is bilious, altho don't
owe a dollar in the world.
am a early riser, but my wife Is
Presbyterian. I may add that / am also
~baldheaded. I keep two cows.
l liv in Baldwinsville lnjiany. My
mex. door nabor is old Steve Billins. I'll
tell you a little story about old Steve that
will make you larf. He jined the Church
last Spring. and the Minister said, "You
must 20 home now, Brother Billins, and
erect a family altar in your own house.
whereupon the egrejis old ass went home
and built a regular pulpit in his settin
room. He had the Under in his house
over four days.
am Sc 1857 years of age. Time with
its relentless scythe is ever busy. The
old sexton gathers them in, he gathers
them in! keep q pig this year.
l don't think Of anything more, Mr..
Editer. If you should give my portrait
in connection with my Biogfry, pleas hav
me engraved in a l~anguishin attitoode,
leanin on a marble pillar, leavin my back
hair as it is now. Trooly yours,
ARrEMUs WARD.
Man ISJuREp.-Last night a man EN-.
ployed in the Belcher mine was quito seri.
~ - A. folto,;nn -