The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1866-09-18

MS p9rpPts 70 regret they hadn't ,pren-
tieed him in his early youth to n 6iskit
baker, or SOME other occubation of a
peaceful and quiet character. 1 say,
therefore, TO the great men now hvin,
lYou could put 'em all into HYDE Park
by the way, and still leave room for a
large and respectable concourse of rie-
'tersl l--be good. I say to that gifted but
bald4headed ProoShun, Bismarck, be
good and gentle in your hour OF tri-
ump. Il alwaysiam. I admit that our
lines is Different, Bismarck and mine;
but the same glo' 'rous principle is in
volved. . / am a exhibiter of startlin'
cuTiOsitys, wax works, shhix, etsetry
(''eithef of whom; as a american states
man whose mamie ainit at liberty to
mention for perlitical resins, asihe ex-
Pecks to becandidate for a prominent
oils, and hencS doesn't wish to excite
the rage and jelisy of other shoRmen
OF whom is wuth bubble the
price of admission'') II say anna ex-
,hibiter of stnrtliIi' chriosItys, and also
have my hours of triumph, but I try to
be good in 'en1. If you say, tAh, yes,
but also your hours of grief and mis-
fortune" answer, It is'troo, and you
prob'lY refer to the circumstahs of my
htrin' q young man of dissyPated hab-
its to fix hisself up as A real Canni-
bal from Eeelau, aud when I WIS sim
ply tellin the audience that he-Ras the
most feroshus iCanfi bal "of his tribe,
and that, alone and unassisted, he had
ct isePiril of our fellow country men,
and that he had at one time even con-
templated eatin his Uncle Thomas on
his mothers side, as we'll as other near
and dear felatiVeS-when i was maxim
these simple statements, the misible
young man said9I was a lyer, and
knockt me off the platform. Not quite
satisfied with this, he cum and trod
l.,
cular personand wore remarkable thick
boots, knew at once that a canary
bird wasn't walkin' over me.
admit that my ambition ovelepE her.
self in this instuns, and I've been very
careful ever since to- deal square with
the public. II was the public should
Insist on squareness, tho shouldn't
do as n portion of my adClieiice did on
the occasion Jest mentioned, which they
was emplYed in sum naberin coal
mines. "As you hain't got no more
Cannybals 10 show US. old man" said
one of 'em, who seemed TO be kind of
leader among iem-a5 tall, .dis'greeable
skoundTil-''aS you seem to be out OF
Canny balls, we'll sorter look round here
and fix things. Them wax fggers of
yours wat nwashin'. There's Napoleon
Bonyparte and julius Casar-theY must
have a BATH" with which coarse and
brutal remarks he initiated the war
hoop of the western saVige, and assisted
by his infamous coal-heavin' compan-
yins, he threw all my wax work into
the river, and let my wild bears loose to-
pray on peaceful and inoffensive ag-
'ricultoOral community ulH
Leavin Liverpool (I'm goin' back
there, tho-I want to see the Docks,
which l heard spoken OF at least once
while / was theTe) cum to london in
a LIST class car, passin' the time agree
nhIp in fliGRnG5iu N Vufth n 80
mine, the celebrated SchIeswig- Holstein
question. We took that Interesting
question up and carefully Y traced 10 from
the time it commenced being so, down
to the present day, when my country
man, at the close of four hours amy
mated debate. said he didn't know any
thing abont it himself, andthe wanted to
know il I did. | told him that l did
not. He's at Ramsgate now, and / am
to write to him when I feel like giVin'1
him two days in which to discuss the
question of negro slavery in America.
But now do not feel like it.
London at last, aud I'm stoppi1 at
the 6reenHon tavern. I like the LAM
lord very much indeed. q He had fallen
into a few trihin errers in regard to
America; he was under the impression,
for instance, that we ct hay over there,
and had horns CROWN out of the back
of our heads-but his chopsiand beer is
ekal to any / ever partook, You must
come and see me, and bring the boys.
Pm told Tint Garrick used to cum here,
but Pm CROWN skeptycal about Gar
riclk's favorit tayerns. I've had over
500 public houses pinted out to me
where Ghrfick went. I WAS indOoced
one night by a seleck comp'ny of Brit
ons to visit some % public houses, and
they conidentially told me that Gar
rick used to go to each one of 'em. Also,
DR.. y ohnson. This Won't do, you know.
Maybe I've Fambledq bit in this
ieommupicAtionT-I'n try and be more
collected in my next, and meanwhile,
'b'lIeYe- me TrooIy yours,
iiiibaitflhA 'it'c ARTEMUs WARD!