Democrat and sentinel. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1853-1866, 1866-05-31
EVERYBODY'S COLUMN.

ii IoSSSCu SOe''-
a- Features without grace are
like a clock without face.
90 Marriage without means is
like a horse without his beans.
er The most dangerous bats that
fly. Brickbats.
es- Indulge in humor as much as
you please, if it is not ill-humor.
ns- A misnomer-Calling a GER
tain neither garment, between five
and six feet in diameter, petty
coat"
Why is a chicken pie like gun
smiths store? Because it contains
foul-in pieces.
81 Josh Billings says-''When a
mans dog deserts him on account Of
his poverty he can't get any lower
down in the world-not by land"
a lady visiting a girls school
asked one OF the children, Of she was
making a chemise. ''No, ma'am, =
said the girl bashfully, Its he
mise"
A learned coroner being asked
how he accounted for the great
mortality this year, exclaimed:
Il cannot tell; people seem to
die this year that never died before.
A gentleman in Boston has recei-
we'd telegraphic dispatch, via San
Francisco from Japan which was
only twenty-six days coming. This
is believed to be the quickest time
yet made.
''Why, Hans, you have the most
feminine cast Of cOuntenance | have
ever seen. ''Oh, yaw," was the
reply, Il know de reason for dat:
mine moddar vas vOman."
\ man was recently garroted i'll
St. Louis, on the corner of Seventh
and Chestnut streets, and robbed of
a iack-knife and two copper cents.
Adding insult to injury, the thieves
kicked him on account Of his pov-
erty.
4 would steal myself, said Sam
DO, IF was not afraid ob de debble.'
We'll | believe you would, said
Dick, 'for You are a bad niger any
how; and if you aint watched you'll
steal, debble or no debble.'
,An, editor heads his list of births,
marriagessand deaths, thus:
'Hatched, matched and despatch
ed
We remember another who head
ed them severally, Visitors, board
ers, and Travellers
The plan Of the so-called Recon-
struction Committee for obstructing
the restoration Of the Union went
through the house recently by a
strict party yote-12S to 81.
Is not the Indian a man and a
brother?' If he is, why is he denied
a vote under the Radical plan Of re-
construction If he is not, will
somebody be kind enough to point
out the particulars in which he is
inferior to the negro.
Prentice, of the Louisville Jour
nal, makes a wicked lung at the
very underpinning Of Society. He
says fitting hoops enable the COM
mon people to see a great deal more
Of good society than they ever saw
before
The daughter of very rich man,
who is also granddaughter to a mil
ionaire, who died a year ago, elop-
ed from St. Louis on Saturday with
negro minstrel. The pair have
taken the route, it is supposed to
Indiana, to be married in that State.
She is sixteen years old.
'Will you take the life of General
Grant or Admiral Farragut, this
morning. asked a newsman of an
elderly lady who had stopped to
look over the publications on his
stall.
Law me mol she replied: they
may live to the end of their day for
all Of me. [ haint nothin' ag'in
en-
The following advertisement, we
clip from daily paper, exhibits a
good specimen of the arrangement
Of words -
Lost A small lady's watch with
white face {; also two ivory ladies'
work boxes. \ mahogany gentle
mans dressing-case, and a small po-
ny, belonging to a young lady with
one eye"
1t is said that the fruit crop in
Indiana county has been entirely