The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1866-01-13

CALEB S.EsEENsEAF TRIES
FOR A 80 azSSE-.
fFrom bis AutoJi3Eraphy


Now, when | left home, sposcd | would
90 a school tee chin. i desired 10 Jeech a
dee.,rct skool ont west | travelled , days,
and s., last inquired if the peeIel wanted
good skool teecher. TheT scd yes. AMI sent
me to the director and he directored me 10
90 and git examined, and he would hire me.
| went to the next town and was shone to
the pIais whair skool teecherS Is examined.
THAR cum out a old icler and asked me /. |
wanted to be examined. scd ! want
'ticklsr. He asked me agen II | wanted to
be examined. | asked him what did lie
spose / wanted, ir didn't want to be exam
incd, and TO pitch in, but not 10 examine the
left hand briches pocket of my uther vest
fI wanted to coke, t. maik him !eal good IN
,h. beginrin. you see.) The old chap sal
ioun, and looked wise: ves. looked oriut
wise and asked me what was the capit!e o!
I..wsiany. | told him Ben. Batter was the
capitle OF Lewsi.ny.-(This episCad IN my
-ebeiyen.) He asked me what was the prn-
siple river in india. told him | didn't
'xactlv know, but sposed 1t was the river nile
sumshars around thar .bouts. lie asked me
by what was AIabarmy bounded. repIIde
it wa. bounded on the west by one Of the
su,hern stats en- the nor;h by union sJliers,
OIL the east by free nir-ers. and OF the solth
br star-ashen. He tjll me TO rite my rai.,.
/ diI 50 iorihwi,hy lie gaiv mr a slai' and
pensel, and asked me h Nv much ten and one
fourth wards ov cloth cum to at tree and
ona half dolers a ward. ! toad him TO lesv
out the one forth and one hat and | cud tel
him without slait or pensel. He wouldn't
agree to III s. 50 told him it would to
MORN sny Door devil cul scair up these
times. He next tried me gramcr. Now.
/ never studied gramer any. bat | was bound
to anser anyhow. lie asked me to parse; he
opened book and found a line: The boys
and girls are good" He asked me what
part Of sPeach was The. | herd tom stephens
parsr at skoO one time, so | sed it was "a
pronoun. lie didn't say nuthin, but asked
me what was boys. | sed boys was boys, the
world over. He asked me what did boys
agree with ! sed they agreed with pretty
girls first rate, but with s,epmothers-
time He asked me what was q,ld toald
him it didn't make much ditfcrense it wa.l |
much of ANYTHING ANYHOW. He asked me
what was girls. | sed they was femaiIs. He
asked me in what number was they. | told
him | was only stranger ia these diggins,
but that they was in crate numbers ont our
way Nov | thought OF the way tom stephens
used to parse, so | thought it was time to
sho off, go | sed, girls is indicitiv tence,
ple~perfect mood, nomitive gender, turst
futyer case, second person subgunk;iy gen
der and relativ pronoun TO an adrer5 under
stud. lie leened back on his chare as if he
uas goin to faiat. l thought ss how my
lernin had overcun him. lie didrt say
nuthin for a long time. Col! but L fell
good knew l showed off VOL and asked
him for my stficate, and how much was hi:
damage. He didn't say nuthin, but asked
me if | ever tended skool. | told him
never did. only ) weakes after huskin time
but alters had kinder natycrrel iuyin fo
honL., ann allers intended ben suthn il
this world and that, like durles and webster
and cul,umbi., I was selt-naid man; All,
rhat, after was "a dun teechin skool,
INTENDED runnin for OFFS; and told him t
hurry up his cakes and give me my stllicate
as lowed 10 go tecchin next mornln. II
.a,kd me how much was promist munIr
il sed was TO git fftene dollers, and hour
round with the skollers. lie sed had bette
90 further west, RS | cud git better wages
I told him | managed my own sffaras, an
to hurry up and shell out his stihcate, as
wanted to git things reddy for my skew
He sed he cud not consheeushusly give me
ys,;fcate. caus want qualifde for teechil
toald him he lids like HI and that knod
more'n Re did He sed mite eeve ii
orfis. / to.ld him it would take bette
reddy. He bekened to the strete with h
hand, and poleesnan cum up the stare
but Just as he got to the dore uas reddy.
P. 81 kno The darned old cuss objecte
to me jest on ackount of my po!lytick,,