The Potter journal. [volume] (Coudersport, Pa.) 1857-1872, 1866-11-13
Swallowing Oysters Alive.
sUCKER-HIs FIRST oYsTER-swALLoW-
ING 1T ALIVE-TERRIBLE SITUATION
THE Observation-Disclosures


THE Observation-Disclosures
At a late hour the other night, the door
of an oyster house in our city was thrust
open, and in stalked hero from the Suck
or State. He was quite six feet high,
spare, somewhat stopped, with hungry,
anxious countenance, and his hands pushed
clear down to the bottom of his breeches
pockets. His outer covering was hard to
define, but after surveying it minutely, we
came to the conclusion that his suit had
been made in his boyhood, Of dingy yell
low linsey woolsey, and that, having sprout
ed up with astonishing rapidity,he had been
forced to piece it out with all coIors, in
order to keep pace with his body. In spite
of his exertions, however, he had fallen in
arrears about foot of the necessary length,
and consequently, stuck that far through
his inexpressibles. His crop of hair was
surmounted by the funniest little seal skin
cap imaginable. After taking position,
he induIged in a long stare at the man
opening the bivalveS, and slowly calculated
listers 2"
ayes, sir" responded the attentive ope-
rator," aud fine ones they are too"
"Wel, I've heard Of listers afore," says
he, "but this is the fust time I've seed'm,
and pre-Aaps I'll know what thar made
of afore | git out of town."
Having expressed this desperate inten-
ton, he cautious y approached the plate
and scrutenized the uncased shell fish, with
a gravity and interest which would have
done honor to the most ilustrious searcher
into the hidden mysteries Of nature. At
length he began to soIiloquize on the diff
Guilty of getting them out and how queer
they looked when out.
81 never seed any thin hold on So
takes an amazin site Of screwin, hoss, to
git m out, and amt they slick and slip'pry
when they does come! Smooth as an eel !!
I've good mind to give that feller lodg-
ing, Just to realize the effects, as uncle Jess
used to say about specialization"
"Well, sir" was.the reply "down with
two bits and you can have a dozen"
1.-TWO bits !" exclaimed the Sucker, snow
come, that's stickin it on rite strong, hoss,
for listers. A dozen amt nothin to a chick
en-, and there's no gettin' more'n plea
yune a piece for them. I've only realized
forty-fye picayune on my first yentur to
St Louis. III tell you what I'll gin you
two chickens for dozen, if you'll conclude
to deal"
A wag, who was standin by indulging
in dozen, winked to the attendant to
shell out, and the offer was accepted.
'Now mind," repeated the Sucker, "alt
fair-two chickens for dozen-you're
witness, mister" turning at the same time
to the wag, "none Of your tricks, for I've
heard that your city felIers are nifty slip
pry coons."
The bargain being fairly understood, our
"Sucker" squared himself for the onset, de-
liberately put off his seal skin, tucked up
his sleeves, and fork in hand, awaited the
appearance of No. l. 1t came-he saw
and it was quickly bolted! A moments
dreadful pause ensued, The wag dropped
his knife and fork with a look Of mingled
amazement and horror-something akin to
Shakespeare's Hamlet on seeing his dad
dv's ghost-vhile he burst into the ex-
clamation-
'sSwallowed alive, as I'm a Christian"
Our Sucker hero had opened his mouth
with pleasure a moment before, but now
it stood open. Fear a horrid dread of
he knew not what-a consciousness that
all wasn't right, and ignorant of the extent
of the wrong-the uncertainty of the mo-
ment was terrible. Urged to desperation,
he faItered out
"What on earth's the row Z"
"Did you swallow it alive?" inquired
the wag.
al swallowed it just as he gin it to me"
shouted the Sucker.
"You're a dead manw exclaimed his
anxious friend "the creature is alive and
will eat right through you" added he, in
mo, hopeless tone.
"Get pizen pump and pump it QUIT"
screamed the Sucker, in frenzy, his eyes
fairly starting from their sockets. 20, gra
clous, what Ill do?-Its got hold of my
innards already, and I'm dead as chick
en!-do somethin for me, do-don't let
the internal sea-toad eat up me afore your
eyes"
"Why don't you put some Of this on
it ?" inq uired the wag, pointing to a bottle
of strong pepper sauce.
The hint was enough-the Sucker upon
the instant seized the bottle, and desper-
ately wrenched out the cork, and swallowed
half the contents at draught. He fairly
squealed at its effects, and gasped, and
pitched, and writhed and twisted as if it
were coursing through him with electric
effect, while at the same time his eyes ran
a stream Of tears At length, becoming a
little composed, his wagglsh adviser ap-
/, /