Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1866-10-31
Various Items.

ANCAAoa
Out of97 counties in Iowa, only three
gave Democratic msjorities.
A SwARN OF Bs.-BULLocK, BOUTWELL,
BARsToR, BUTLER and BANKS are among
the candidates in Massachusetts,.
General Santa Anna travels about New
York dressedin full Mexican General rig,
with a dozen gold medals dangling on his
breast, and reiterating to everybody he
meets his achievements in 1889, when he
drove the French from his land.
General Sherman has accepted an invi-
tation to be present at the meeting of the
Society of the Army of Tennessee, to be
held in Cincinnati, November 18th. GEN
eral Grant will also be present,
Mr.. SEWARD ANswERED.-James Russell
Lowell, in a brilliant paper in the North
american Rsvie1c, answers Mr.. Stewards
question as to show many stars do you
wish to see on your fsg?" GAS many
fixed stars as you please, but no more
shooting stars, with any consent Of ours"
Three or four of Artemus Wards con-
tributions to the London Punch have
been republished in some of the newspa-
pers of this country, which is a compile
ment they hardly deserve. The most
partial friends of the great Exhibitor Of
moral wax fgggers" must pronounce
them 1.-THE contributions, not the tigers')
something very closely resembling a fail
ure. This was to have been expected
Such failures, under such circumstances,
are quite common. Indeed, they are al
most inevitable. When Artemus wrote
lnnlu DC tho cnrrfA Van-aI H..
ny; when he undertakes to write Iegu!
larly for pay, he fails. This is nearly al
ways the case. No humorist can be very
happy in his efforts upon compulsion,
even though humorous conceits be as
plentiful as ~blackberries. To make those
felicitous strokes which compel US to laugh
in spite of ourselves, he must write only
when he feels in the humor.' Tom Hood
was an exception to the rule; but then,
the race of Tom Hood is extinct. He was
the first and the last of it. 1t began at
his birth and ended at his death. A.
Ward does not belong even to a collater-
al branch Of the family.
There was once a clergyman in New
Hampshire noted for his long sermons
and indolent habits. "How is it." said. a
man to his neighbor, "Parson- the
LATEST man living, writes interminsble
sermons" why" said the other, "he
probably gets to writing, and he is to lazy
to STOP"
Some fellow, ensmored of a young lady
named Anna Bread, dropped the follow
ing from his pocket-we expect;
While bellies their lovely sraces spread.
And tops around them futter.
I'll be c intent with Anna Bread.
And won't have any BUT HER
A gentleman having asked how many
dog days there we're in a year, received
for an answer, that it was impossible to
number them, as every dog has his day.
There is a girl in jersey whose lips are
so sweet that they stick together every
morning by the honey they distil, and
cannot open her mouth until she has
parted them with a silver knife. She VIII
be a treasure to her husband, not only on
account of her sweetness, but because she
can occasionally keep her mouth shut.
"Behold my Flora, how glorious Nature
looks in her blooml The trees are filed
with blossoms, the wood is dressed in its
green livery, and the plain is carpeted
| with grass and flowers"
Eyes, Charles, | was thinking of the
same thing. These flowers are dandeli-
ons, and when they are gathered and put
into a pot with a piece of good fat pork
they make the best green's in the world J"
There is a whole sermon in the saying
of the old Persian ; "In all thy quarrels
leave open the door of Cancellation" We
should never forget it.
To dream g~loriously, you must act glo-
~riously while awake and to bring down
angels to onVerse with you in your sleep,
you must labor in the cause of virtue du-
ring the-day.
Constant companionship is not enjoya-
BILE no more than constant eating is a pos
sibility. We sit too long at the table of
friendship when we out-sit our appetites
for each others thoughts.
The Russians are a very eccentric peo-
pie. If they get drunk, as they often do,
it shows itself in huggiug and kissing
but being confined to the male sex, the
practice is not very popular among the
Am erican visitors.
49,