The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-05-04
Artemus Ward Among the remains
To HONE, April, 1866

Artemu6 w ara AmouS shS
To HONE, April, 1866.
The fnians conveend in our town tne otn-
or night, and took steps lords freein tseiano.
They met in the Town hall, and py tne KIM
invite OF my naber. Mr.. Mulrooney onaug-
messy, whose ancestors at least mus' n"Se
had Irish blood in their vanes, went over
You may not be awalr, by the way 'net
I've bin q in valid here to home 1or sew Ell
weeks. And it's all OWN to nv own improo-
dams Not feslin' like eatin' full meal when
the cars ssopt for dinner, in the south, where
IateIy was. [ went into a rssterstsr and ct
20 hard billed eggs think they effected my
Liver.
Bot thanks to careful nussin,' Pm impsov-
in rapid.
The Town hall was iam-full of peple most
" Irish citizens, and the enthoosasm was I'M
mense. They cheersd everybody and every
hing. They cheered me.
"Hurroo for Ward Hurroo !"
They wear ell good nsbers of mine, and
anserd in a pleasant voice, "All right, boys.
all right. Mavourneen, och hone, ar0on, Gus
hla-macree," These Irish remarks bein re-
ceived with CRATE applsus,I added, "Mushler!
Mushler!''
Good Good p cried Cap. Spingler who
''that's fus' rate"
"You see what Pm drivin' at. don't you
Csp?" said.
Certainly"
"Wsll," snserd, 81 very GLAD you do, be-
cause don't"
This made the inians lsrf, and they said
walk up onto the speakers platform.
The speeches was red hot agin England
and her iron heel and it was resolved to free
Ireland at onct. But it was more desirable
before freein' her that large quantity Of
fun's should be raised. And like gen'rous
souls a. they was, fun's was lib rally cOntri-
bootsd. Then arose q excisin' discussion SIS
to which head center they should send 'em
to-O'Mahoney or McRoberts. There was
CRATE excitement over this, but it was finally
resolved to send one half to one and halt to
t'oher.
Then Mr.. Finnigan rose and said I've hav
here tonight sum citizens of American birth.
from whom we should be glad to hear. 1t
would fill our harris with speechless Joy to
hear from a man whose name towers high in
the geological and wax fgger world-frem
whose pearly lips"
Says I, aGo slow, Finny, 60 slow"
I'VE wish to hear" continued Mr.. Fin
nigan, moderatin' his stile summit, from our
townsnaD, Mr. Ward"
..
/ rose amidst a perfect uprosr of applaus.
said we had conveend there in q meetin'
as / understood it, or rather in body as it
were, in reference to Ireland. 1t | know my
own hart, every one of Us there, both CRATE
and small, had an impulsive fowin' in his
bosom, land consequentially." / added, eve
will stick to it similar and in accord nce
Herewith, as long as spark OF manhood, or
the people at large. That's the knid of man
be |"
Squire Thaxter interrupted me. The SQUIRE
feels tho wrongs of Ireland deeply, on &C
count of havin' onot courted the wilder of an
Irish gentleman who had fingered in a loath-
sum dunjin in Dublin, placed there by 6
English tavern keeper, who isspotically
wanted him to pay for quantity of chops
and beer he had consoom'd. Besides, the
squire wants to be reelected Justice of the
peace. MIR. Ward" no said, you've been
drinkin'. You're under the infoo'nce of lick.
or, sir 20
Says /, esquire. not drop Of good Ticker
has passed my lips in Is years"
Cries of ooh here now, that won't do."l
1T is true" said. mot drop of good
ticker has passed my lips in all that time. /
don't let it pass 'em. / reach for i. while
it is goin' by |" says |. Squire, harness me
some moreW
81 beg pardon" said the squire, ''for the
remark You are sober; but what on airth
are you drivin' st?"
"Yes," said, that's just it. That's Whist
I've been akin myself durin' the entire even.
in. What is this great meetin' driyin' at
What's all the CRATE Flnlan mestins drivin'
at ell over the country?
'My Irish frens, you know me we'll enufi
to know that | did't come here to disturb
this meetin'. Nobody but loafsr will dis.
turb any kind of meetin'. And If You'll
notiss it, them as are up to this sort of thing,
alters comes to bad end. There was O
young mani will not mention his name
who disturb'd my show IN q certain town
two years ago, by maxim remarks disrespeot.
full of my animals accompanied by an nllosar
to the front part of my he'd, which, as you
see, it lie Bald-sayin', says this young man
You sandpaper it too much, but you've 20,
q beautiful head of hair ON the back of your
neck, old man. This made few ignent and
low-minded persons larf; but what was the
fate of that young man? In less than a
month his aunt died and left him farm in
Oxford county, Maine! The human mind
can picture no greater misfortune than this.
'No, my Irish frens. / am here as your
naDef anu uen' l know you are brave and
warm hearted. l know you are homes. in
this Finian matter
"But let US look at them Had con,srs
Let us look at them rip-roar;n, o,.tor. ~
New York, who've bin tear,n' round f"r - -
ards year, swsarin' Ireland shall h .ot fr up
sThere's two parties-OM eMahon 80 ~
MonRobsrts. One thinks the best va :; anu
~ over to Csnaday and establish a ir,sb - y, 70
Snnbl;o there, kindly permistin' the Canadians
70 pay tho expenses Of that sweet zee boon and
the other wants 70 sail direct tor Dublin Bay.
who're young MoRoy and h,s sal. .1 young bride
wen. down and was . .asr. s'o0.dn to
baiisd ! ss 0hO ada. serse-that's the Funs.M
which Do M;,, Ga them chaps in New York, to
Thsyrs ~ ml ~. Fans you'll send 'em. You
..sa .sas1s: . = Win 1ses;,.
) Pnss 70 "'I Ard with oshsr pussss 1t wiz b