The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1866-11-22
Oh oUsbElI


What is the difference between an
auction and sea -sickness2 One IL
sale Of effects, the other the effects OF
a SAIL a 81 AHo h@lhiiQiaafa ~ A
An old lady, on being examined be.
fore a magistrate as TO her place of
legal settlement, was asked what rea-
son she had for supposing her hus-
hand had a legal settlement in that
town The old lady said: tol baf'
HE was born and married there,
and they buried him there, and il that
isn't settling him p there, don't know
what is. +" rr
Though Caterers" is right, that
terers" is wrong; though a man from
|. LapIaad is d Laplander, yet a man
from Michigan Is nota Michigander,
NOR lady from that State Miehi-
goose; though a mailer is one who
makes nails, tailor is not one who
makes tails-unless they be coat tails;
and though a wavelet Is a little wave,
and fowret little flower, yet a bull
let is not little bull, nor a hamlet a
little ham. r
What word may be pronounced
quicker by adding syllable, to it?
Quick II l'''
A spruce young gent of Montpelier,
VT, fresh from his Latin studies, re
Gently called upon some young ladies,
and being asked by the servant for
his name, as he sat quietly in the par
Tor, replied Anxious " Ia friendly
Biddy was little puzzled, but regain
ing her composure, in the blandest
manner possible observed, w hat
kind of a cuss did you say, STRIP
That cured him of Latin lingo.
Superlatives are dangerous things.
4 A man once wrote to his wife, My
dearest Maria; and by return Of
post he received the cold reply,
" Permit me to correct either your
grammar or your morality, Pray,
who are your other dear Marias2"
GETTING BETTER" How is your
husband, Mrs. SquippsY Why, the
doctor says as how if he lives till
morning, he shall have some hopes OF
him; but if he don't he must give
him up. bua dad i ay
THE Pics EAR MARK.-A lawyer
asked Dutcbman in court what ear
marks pig had, that was in dispute
"Vell, he has no ear mark except a
very short tail ,.n +" =
lot " BOB" said a Young fellow. at !
| fancy fair, you are missing all the
sights on this side9' Never mind
Bill, retofted Bob. I" I'm sighting al
the misses on the other hi iraoarf
Be temperate in Diet, Our frs
parents ate themselves out of house
!, and home.
MARY" asked Charles, what ami
NAL dropped from the clouds?" Tn,
rain dear" was the whispered reply
~ What's the latest and sweetest thin
in bonnets?l The ladies faces, to b
sure. nmoa inaalq odi TO qp 9mo9
''Why isn't my shirt CLEANUP quot
one Bohemian to another. "aWell
yes" was the, answer, its clean 70
brown, but it is awful dirty for white.
,, The meanest reason for getting mar
ried that we ever heard Of was fron
|, man who said he wanted some on
I. to part his back hair for him. mnbsfa
9 DOMESTIC RELATIONS. Patrick, i
{ writing his autobiography, says: -
r ran away from my father at an earl
{ period of my life because ] discover
! ed that he was only my uncle.
i II think, wife, that you have
! great many ways Of calling me fool.
]. Z / think, husband. that you have
great many ways Of being one.Pf9m
8 A grim, hard headed old judy
after hearing howery discourse frol
a pretentious young barrister, advise
+ him to pluck out the feathers. fro
p the wings of his Imagination and site
e e them in the tail Of his Judgment,
3 A gentleman in Michigan asked
squaw if her papoosie, which WI
/ quite white, was not half-bred, wher'
e upon she replied i No, not a drop
2. white blood about lit-half Indian al
Il half Missionary" ;. ..3 .a,,.la,., ~ i.
?, The New Bedford Mercury mercl
i rally inquiries what effect the death
Z, the Tycoon will have upon Japa
a. backing. .at-4 IS 19dm3H