The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1866-11-27
NUMBER SO
1EUMORoUs ITEMS.

"Does the razor take hold well?" in
quired barber, who was shaYiug gen
tleman from the country "Yes, re-
piled the customer, with tears in bis eyes,
sit takes hold first rate, but it don't let
go worth cent? e
And if it takes four men two days to
eat ham how many will it take to eat a
hammer.
Woman are called the sssoft sex" be-
cause they are SO easily humbugged.-
Out of QUE hundred girls, ninety 1--we
would prefer ostentation to happiness.
A boy nine years old lately said toa
boy of seven: II am surprised to hear
you talk so much about the girls; IdidR't
at your age" ssts~Assf
The late Judge, of Connecticut
was not remarkable for quickness Of ap-
prehension. At trial Mr.. r. w. Sher-
man, was arguing before him, and in the
course of his remarks he made point
which the Judge did not at once see.-
.Mr. Sherman, I would thank you to,
state the point SO thatI can understand
you" Bowing, Mr. s., in the blandest
manner, replied, "Your honor is not
probably aware Of the task you are inn
posing on me. ~ sa
A new style ofbonnet has made its ap-
pearance in Paris. It is twine string
with diamond set in the top.
A vile old bachelor says that Adams
wife was called Eve because 5xhan she
appeared mans day Of happiness was
drawing to close.
A Connecticut Divine, of the radical
school, recently preached on Sunday
morning frem the text: "We are the chill
dren of the devil, and in the afternoon,
"Children, obey your parents. = y -
"Father, what does the printer i've
on?" why, my child?' 90, because
you said you hadn't paid for your paper
for three yearsl' Exit father with flea
in his ear,
A clergyman asked sea captain his
views abou. future state, and was an
swered that he did not meddle himself
with state affairs.
"Jeff, why am you like de gum-tres2"r
81 guv it up Sam; can't tell you. ~
"Case you stay green both summer and
winter. "a 4g
An indiscreet man confded secretlto
another, and begged him not to repeat it,
It's all right, was the reply; I will beas
close as you were. sa SD
A person being asked why he had Civ.
en- his daughter in marriage to q man
with whom he was at enmity, answered
-"I did it out Of pure revenge. st..,.
Says lovely Julia to bewitching
Fanny, "Why is new born baby like.a
cows s.tail?" "Give it up,' she replied:
Because it was never seen before. "-1
Fanny phainted. 2
A timid gentleman meeting doctor
the other day, the Following colloquy took,
place: doctor, what shall I take for the
cholera?" aThe choIeral have you got
the cholera2" "No." aWell, take the
cholera first"
A PARENTAL LETTER-The following
letter was written by father to hiss
at college,: B sax Cd ni
"MY DEAR SoN:-I write to send you
your new socks which your mother has
| just knit by cutting down some of mines
Your mother sends you ten dollars Eiths
out my knowledge, and for fear you
would not spend it wisely, kept back
half, and only send you FIVE. Your own
mother and | are well, exceptthst your
lsister has got the measles, which We think
would spread among the other girfs if
Tom had not had them before, and he is
the only one left / hope yen will do
honorto my teaching; if you do not you
are donkey, and your mother and N.Y.
self are your affectionate PARENTS. 80
/ KEEPING THE CoMMANDMENTs,-A
clergyman finding his flock very igporant,
resolved to pay them domiciliary visits,
and inspect them at their houses. Com
ling to a poor woman's cabin, amongst
other questions, he asked how many
commandments there were2 -
aTruly, sir, !" said she, 81 cannot tel. 3
! "Why, Ten, said be. ,.ss.a =
| "a fine company, replied she. aGod
bless you and them together -,
'Well, but neighbor, said he, lido you
think you can keep the commandments
| "Ah, the Loid in Heaven bless you,
Isir, Fam poor woman, and eau barely
keep myself, SO how can / bear the charge
of keeping SO many command dments22 80
Two OF 'En-A young fellow whose
| better half had just presented him with q
pair Of bouncing twins, attended church
one Sunday. During The discourse, the
clergyman looked right at eur innocent
| friend and said, in tone of thrilling ell
oquenee, Young man, you have an i'm
| portant responsibility thrust upon you.
The newly fedged dad, supposing that
the preacher alluded to his peculiar home
event, considerably startled the;audienco
by exclaiming, Yes, / have tive of them.
Il Ngsb sa 20 sts8e
4 In proportion as We ascend the social
scale, we find as much mud there as be-
low, only it is hard and gilded. g ess
/ PuRITANs.-Artemus Ward says be
came Of very clever family. His an.
tecedents were Puritans, who fed from .
! land Of despotism to aland of freedom
where thay could not only enjoy their
j religious belief uDmolested, but preyeni
| avarvhodv else from enioying theirst