The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1866-11-23
FACETlE.

A paper asks very innocently if it is
any harm to sit in the lapse of ages. An
other replies that it all depends on the
kind of ages selected. Those from lS to
% is put down as extra hazardous.
1t is wrong to preach politics in the
pulpit-very wrong; but if a man preach
es our politics, we can forgive him.
liberation and liberality are virtues
that minorities always preach, and ma
jorities seldom practice.
Minorities are always for restrictions
on the power of rulers. Majoritics are
always impatient of these restrictions.
There is u great deal of human nature
i'll man.
At the last election in Baltimore,
among the questions put to the voters
was the following: "Did you ever re-
joice at defeat of the Federal armyi"
An Irishman, to whom the question was
put, replied: "Sure an TUX the Balti-
more Clipper, an niver knew they were
defeated
Thackeray's nose was almost n broken
bridge. Jerrold being told that the
wits religious opinions were unsettled,
and that a lady of his acquaintance was
doing her best to convert him to Roman
ism, exclaimed: "To Romanism' Let
us hope she'll begin with his nose"
O'Connell, in addressing jury, hav-
ing exhausted every ordinary epithet of
abuse, stopped for word, and then add
ed, "this naufrageOus rutfian.' When
afterwards asked by his friends the
meaning of the word, he confessed he
did not know, but said he thought it
sounded we'll.
Lately gentleman sat down to write
deed, and began with: "Know one
woman by these presents"
"You are wrong" said bystander;
sit ought to be know all men,"
every WELL" answered the other; "ii
one woman knows it, oil men will, OF
course"
The Lexington (Kentucky) Observer,
in noticing an exhibition of the Mil
tonian TableauX, says q little girl
daughter of Confederate officer, com.
ing out of the hall, innocently asked
"Papa, amt these men Yankeesr
"Why.' said the papa. Because they
painted all the bad angels in gray"
Schuyler Colax says if the South doe,
not accept the amendment he is coming
with q torch in one hand and SWORD
in the other. Come along. We viii
meet You with squirt in one hand ant
switch in the other, and see which
puts out the fastest, you or your torch
Louisville Democrat.
An Unlocking fellow was asked how
he could account for natures forming
him so ugly. Mature was not to blame,
said he, "for when was two months o
age | was considered the handsomes
child in the neighborhood, but my nurse
to revenge herself upon my parents fol
some fancied injury at their hands, on,
day snapped me away for another boy
belonging to friend Of hers, whose chile
was rather plain looking"
An urchin leading small dog alonl
the streets some days ago, was accostet
by gentleman as fellows:
"Well, my son, what's your dog
Manner
! "Haint got any name yet"
"Well, why don't you name him
Give him some good name. Call hin
Andy Johnson
~ don't like to do that-'twould b,
disrespectful to the President"
"Well then, name him Beast Butler
81 won't 10 that either, for that would
be disrespectful to the dog"
At prayer-mceting in the thriving
village of Spunktown, a country lad wal
noticed by one Of the elder deacons Il
hold his head aud wriggle in his seat
while the tears seemed to start every
moment. A clear case Of repentance
thought the old deacon, and he quietly
stepped to the side of the lad, and, in I
whisper, afeetionately said:
"How is it with you, my sonY'
The boy looked up, and surprising hin
to be the sexton, said:
"Oh, very bad, and l want to go out
my in'ards are kiekin' up revolu
ton, and i'll eat currant pie again, my
name amt Jeems Billins,n