The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1866-11-09

mother an orphan.
The following piece of Fairete was utter
ed IN shop in a market town in county
Cavan by poor Irishwoman: "What is
your tenpenny ribbon yard ?" she in
qured a shilling, ma'am.'' was the
rather paradoxical reply. Very well,
then, said our simple friend, ''nick it at
that" TO this we may add the daily de-
mand in such establishments for white
ha'Penny spools or black wcman's stock
lng>. yellow girls gloves. etc.
Here comes into our mind a charming
little andecclote, so mare and national in
character, though, strictly speaking. it is
neither blunder nor bull, we cannot re-
train from giving it
An apprentice sailor-boy fell from the
''round-top'' TO the deck. stunned, but
little hurt, The captain exclaimed in
surprise: "Why. where did you come
from! !" ''From the north of Ireland. yer
honor" was the prompt reply, as the poor
fellow gathered himself up.
1t Is only a few months since the Times
Perpetrated most perfect bull. In re-
view OF Iemy>on's "Enoch Arden the
following sentence occurs relative TO the
<elt-denial OF Enoch, who keeps his exis-
tence secret from his wife, whom he
finds married again and happy. "He
died. but not until he died did he mention
to those around him who he was" Now,
who should ever expect, on looking over
john Bulls great representative, to meet
with such a genuine lrishman as that
We can only account for il by Supposing it
was perpetrated by an Iri>hman. We be-
/ licve number of them are employed upon
the staff OF that august publication.
Not TO be outdone. however. by its
monster contemporary, an Irish paper
announces. not many weeks since, the
death oi apoor deaf man called Gatf He
had been run over by a locomotive, and,
adds the paper, ''hc received 4 >mahu m-
.juY this time last year
Another excellent bull of the same kind
was pcrpetrated 10y Il coroner in the coun-
ty limerick this spring, Being asked how
he could account for the fearful mortality
last winter he replied: Il do not know
there are @reat many people dying this
year who never died before
70 this We may add the story OF an
lrl-hman that neULy died, according to hi,
Il,
his physician. who, he declares. drenched
him So with drugs during his illness that
hc was S'CE for a long tlme atter he get
WN
In Irtrt6W buH> the Irish are even more
famous than in those merely logical the
richest one we ever heard WAS about 4
poor Irish ronunt who vua f"um,l,,I in.
through bog Cm a small ragged pony
In IT. efforts 10 push on, the animal GOT
ono OF IT, feet cnlangled in the stirrup
"-Argah. my boy. exclaimed the rider.
III y" are GONG 10 get up, it'> time for mr.
10 get DOWN
y good one is related also of a poor
Irish >crvant-maid who was lett handed
Placing the knives and forks upon the
dinner table in the same awkward fashion,
her master observed that -hc had placed
them all leit-handed. "Ah. true indeed.
sir" said she. land 80 | have. Would
You he pleased to help me to turn the
table !''
\ very good one occurrr,! in our hcar-
lng one cvcmm" last winter. An old Irish
gentleman, fifty Years i'll bonds of holy
wellUck. was telling over To his Urls the
old story OF his former loves and gav
tiirtationS. "Ah.." exclaimed his daumh-
ter Mary. 1T Is well for YOU mamma is
aSleep Oh the sofa and does not hear vou."
Yes" said the old Lady. (widc awkc, as
it proved, and speaking up in the style of
Tragedy rchukin" Comedv.) Il am clad
! an a>iepr'
Amongst mere blunder>. We believe We
have met with no richer specimen than
this one, pcrpctratel by bell-ringcr in
Cork: ''Oh yi>. ola Wis. Lost somewhere
between twelve o'clock and Mckmncv's
stone in Market street, a largc brass KEY.
Iii not be after tcllin' yecs what it is, but
its the key of the bank, sure
An English merchant gives Us the fol-
lowing: On opening Il hogShead of hard
ware and comparing it with the invoice,
hc found ii all right with the exception
of one hammer, which had been omitted.
..Oh. don't be unai>y, my dear sir cried
his Irish porter 'sure the man took it out
TO open the hogshead.''
We shall give just one more rich spcci-
men OF Irish obliquitv and blundering
phra>colcgy. and then shall have done. 1t
Is contained in an clectioneering bill, liter
ally and truly furnished by IN inn-keeper,
tor the RECALLING OF certain free and in
dependent (O voters during the time of Il
contested election in Meath. Some forty
wears ago Sir Mark Someryille sent orders
to the proprietor Of the hotel in Trim to
board and lodge all that should vote for
him. For this he atterward received the
following, which he got framed, and it
-tilI hangs in the Somerville House, county
Meath The copy to which we are i'll
debted for this was found among the
papers of the late Very Reverend Arch
deacon OConnell, Vicar General of the
/ Diocese of Meath 1t ran as follows:
10th April, 1926.
My Bill
! TO eating l6 freeholders above stairs
for Sir Marks at is Sd a-head is to me
81 II.
To eating l6 more below stairs and ?