The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1866-11-15
Straps, Stats aud 9al1ries.

- A blow from 8 lady is welcome if
she strikes you agreeably.
Short. visits are the best, as the tiy
said when he alighted on a hot stove.
Have the courage to prefer comfort
and propriety to fashion in all things.
5 The sieve through which the man
strained every nerve is -for. sale at less
than first cost.
--.Aswoman will tolerate tobacco in 8
man She sikes, and even say she likes It ];
snd vet curiiously enough, how she dis
likes it in man she dislikes.
-aMarried couples resemble a pair of
shears, y says Sidney Smith; $50 joined
that they cannot be separated, often NOV
iIfrin opposite directions, yet always pun.
is6ing any one who comes between them.
4 lady of 8 certain age says the rea-
sonsan old maid is generally 50 devoted
to her cat is that, not having husband,
naturally, takes to the next most
ireacherous animal.
A coxcomb told a lady that he
knew her thoughts by her eyes. "Do
Won ?" said she; ''then [ am sure you will
Keep them q secret, for they are no means
to your advantage.
aThat's a fine strain" said one gen.
tlsman to another, aiIuding to the tones
ofasinger at q concert the other evening.
eyes" said q countryman who sat near,
abut il he strains much more he'll bust"
x---vA. fortune hunter, being. in a ball
room. heard q gentleman give an account
Softhe:death of rich old widow. aDied
yesterday, in her eighty-ninth year. said
shanarrator,. aW hat a pity" exclaimed
9he fortune hunter; "what a fine match
she would have made two days ago"
,se.-.aA AZ farmer, In Virgins. lost his wife,
and out oPlove for her memory called his
estate aGlenmary.n A neighbor having
met with the same af1iction. and equally
desirous of keeping before him the image
JSfss his dear departed, followed his exam
DE. and this farm is now known by the
name of"G Glenbetsy."
An Irish footman having carried a
basket Of game from his master to a
friend. waited considerable time for the
cnstomary fee, not finding it likely to ap-
pear scratched his head, and said, S"Sir, If
my master should say, Paddy, what did
the gentleman give your what would
your honor have me to tell him E
--aWell, Tom" said blacksmith to
his apprentices, s'you have been with me
now three months, and have seen all the
different points in our tradeS | wish to
give you your choice of work for a while"
aTbank'ee, sir" tWell, now, what part
softhe business do you like best?" "Shut-
tin up shop and goin' to dinner, sir"
ss--- In a town not far from Boston, a
clergyman was visiting district school,
where alittle boy was put forward by the
Isacher to aspeak a piece" because he was
sb0ld.2 Whom he had done, the clergyman
praised him by saying, aWhy, my little
iadsyou are not afraid, are you r. "No,
-sir:-I amt afraid Of nothin'. ain,t
afraid Of skanks."
Tt was q very pretty compliment;
chat Scott the Commentator, once paid
his wife. S.Sheis said TO have possessed
an unusually meek and gentle spirit;
but on one occasion something occurred to.
rufie the smoothness her temper, and
her husband said, "My dear, a frown on
uour brow is like dark cloud across q
bright summer day"
Lord Oockburn was once sitting on
a Hillside with shepherd, and observing
the sheep. reposing in the coolest situation,
She observed to him g ohn,s ,s if I were "a
seheep, I.would lie on the other side of the
h;lls'sA The shepherd answered; @Aye,
nv lord. but if. We had been q sheep, ye
would haveshad mairs sense" e..
g - An extraordinarily revolving case of
crime is on trial at Adrian, Michigan. A
girl, thirteen years old, tried to poison
her own father. The old mans life was
saved from The effect Of the dose, and he
isnow trying every means to screen the
child from punishment. sltis most sad
case.
1t is announced in the Virginia pa
apers that the colony of Poles heretofore
mentioned have reached their destination,
in Spottsylvania county. They are to be
followed by two thousand of their coun-
szArymen, and will no doubt be a most val
table acquisition to the particular section
where they locate.
- -- A midshipman asked priest to tell
: him the difference between a priest and
.a;ackass. The priest gave itup. gone
wears a cross on his back, and the other
on his breast said the midshipman.-
ssNow,n said the priest, "tell me the diff
ference. between q midshipman and q
.iS.eSass.o The midshipman gave it up,
and asked what it was. .Fhe priest smd
hedid not know of any.
- The following advertisement is from
aNoRth Carolina paper: Confederate
money taken for goods, and also bank
notes of North andSouth Carolina; and,
rather than be oyer-scrupulous. we will