Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1866-06-22
NAsBY.

| Mr.. Nasty and the Reconstructed meet
to congratulate the Country upon the
result Of the Memphis outbreak-He
discourseth upon the Niger, and runs
against snag.
CoNFEDRIT X ROADS,
(wich is in the Stait nv Kentucky
May II, 1866.
The news from Memphis filed the soles
Nv the Dimocrisy Nv Kentucky with undi-
| looted joy. There at last the Ethiopian wuz
taught that to him at least the spellin book
is seeled volume, and that the gospel is
not for him save ez he gifts 1t filtered
through a sound, eonstooshnel, Dimekratic
| preeeher. We met at the Corners last mite
| to iollify over the brave acts NV our Mem
! pllis trends, and | WIZ the speeker | adj
dressed them on the subject of the nigger-
his wants, needs, capacities, subject per-
NIT me to state, | Batter myself | under
stand
Probably no man in the Yoonited States
hez given the niger more study, or devoted
| more time to pashent investigashen NV this
species Nv the brute creashen, than the un-
dersigned. | have contemplated him sittin
and standing, sleepin and wakin, and in idle
ness, in every shape in fact, ceptin as free
man, wich situashen is too disgustin for a
! proud Caucashen to contemplate him, and
when he ariz before my minds eye in that
shape, alluz turned shudrin away.
| he'd proceeded in my discourse with a
floNin sale. It's easy demonstratin anything
yoor aWjence wants to believe, and wich
their interest lies in. [ he'd gone on and
proved eoncloosiyely from comparison NV
the fizzikle structer NV the Afrikin and the
Caucashen that the niger wuz beast and
not human bein, and that konsekenty we
he'd perfeck rite to catch him and tame
him, and yooze him ez we do other wild ami
mails Finishin this he'd Wv my discourse,
| glode easily into history NV the flood
explained how Noer got tite, and Gust Ham,
eondemnin him and his posterity to serve
his brethren forever, wich | insisted gives
US an indubitable warranty deed to all nv EN-
for all time
| warmed up On this elokently. Behold
my brethren the beginning nv Dimocrasy, -
/ sed 'Fust the wine witch wuz the ante
type Nv our whisky Wuz necessary to the
foundation uy the party, and it Wuz forth
comm, But the thing was not complete
1t did Its work on Noer, but yet there wuZ a
achin void. There wuz no Yigger in the
world, and without niger there could be
Dimocrisy. Ham, my friends, wuz born
brother Nv Japheth, and wuz like unto him,
and NV course could not be a slave. Whisky
1
it fetched him. Ham looked upon his ia
ther and wuz Gust, and the void wuz filed.
| There qC3tS niger and lchtsky and upon
them the foundashuns nv the party wuz laid
broad and deep. Methinks, my brethren,
when Ham went out from the presence nv
his father, black in the face as the ace Of
spades, ef / may be allowed to yoose the ex-
preston, bowin his back to the burdens
| Shem and Japheth piled onto him with
alacrity, that Democracy. then in the womb
of the future, kicked lively and clapped its
hands. There wuz niger to enslaye, and
whisky to bring men down to the pint NV
enslaven him. There Wuz whisky to make
men incapable NV labor-whisky to accom-
pany horse racin, and poker playin, and sich
rational amoosements, and a Niger Gust es-
pecialy that he mite sweat to furnish the
means Observe the fitness of things
Bless the Lord my brethren, for whisky and
the niger, for without EN- there could be no
Dimocrasy and yoor beloved speaker mite
hev owned a farm in Moo jersey and bin a
votin the whig ticket to-day
At this pint venerable old freedman who
wuz sittin quietly in the meetin ariz, and
asked if he mite ask a question. Thinkin
what a splendid opportoonity nv demonstra-
tin the superiority NV the Caucashen over
the Afrikin race, [ answered I've" gladly.
Wall Mas'T, sed the ola nnbecile, is
a beast n ''Niy venerable friend, there
ain t nary doubt NV ii. y
is my old woman a old beastess too p
Individually" replied l.
''And my children, is they little beasts
and beastesses?' "0nquestionably.
Den yaller feller amt but half beast,
is hep My friend, sed |, that ques-
ton is
Hold on, sed he, wat wanted to get
at is dis: dere' s heap w yalier felleTs II
dis section, whose ladders must have bin
white men, and ez der mudders wuz all
beastesses, l want to know wedder der am t
10 law in Kentucky agin -
''Put him out ~ Kill the black W etchl
shouted a large majority NV them who he'd
bin the heaviest slave owners under the good
old patriarkle system, and they went for the
old rcprobate. At this pint officer Nv the
Freedmen's s Burow, who we hedn' observ-
ed, riz, and Dustin with laughter, remarked
that his venerable friend shood hev chance
to be heerd. We respeck that Burow, par
tikelerly ez the officers generally have hun
dred or two bayonets within reech, and cho-
ken our wrath, permitted ourselves to be
further insulted By the cussed nigger, who,
GRIMM from ear to ear, Tiz and perceded:
my white friends, sed he, 'dar pears
to be an objection to my reference to de sub
ieck az dis mixin with beasts, so | wont
press de matter But | ask 700, did Noer
| have have three sons? He did, said |.
Berry good, wuz dey all brudders ?
| 'IIv course
Ham came from de same fadder and
mudder as de odder two p Certain
l-y."
Well den it seems to me, otfully under
standin the skripters, dat if we is beasts and
beastesses, dat 700 is beasts and beastesses,
also, and dat alive is bTudders. And the
disgustin old wretch thew his arms around
my neck and kissed me, calm me his long
lost brudder
The officer NV the Freedmen Bureau laft
vociferously and 50 did a dozen or two sol
diers in the crowd likewise, and the awience
slunk out without adjournin the meetin, one
Nv en- remarkin audibly that he noticed one
thing that Dimocrisy was extremely weak
whenever it undertook TO defend itself with
fax or reyelashnn. For his part, he d done
with argument. He wanted niggers. because
he Good wallop em, and make EN- do his work
without pawn EN-, witch he coodent do with
/ white men.
/ left the meetin house conyinst that the
South, who worked the nigger, leaven US
Northern Dimokrats to defend the system
he'd the best end Nv the bar gain.
PETROLEUM Y. NAsBY,
Iait Paster of the Church of the Moo Dis
| pepsashun Toledo Blade