The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1866-04-24
AN ESSAY ON GALS
BIZ IoHABoD sprNKs.

a - =
MR. EDDYrEa My subjeck is Gals.
and in treatin on EN- shall endeayor to
be as imminent ana perspective possible,
considerin all the circumstances
Gals are of menny and various kinds;
for ez z:-martingals, prodigals, femail
gals, and temboys, But it is of the fe-
mail gal shall speak more especially in
this oSsa, as I've had more experience
with this sort than any other variety par
I.ieplarly afore'a and sense staid to Sally
Maria, what new bears Tie wide known
name Of spinks. Gals are Of much and
different sizes, so you can Judge one on
'am by the calico they carry-deceivin to
the eye and not very hefty. They are
also of different ages. I've nown EN- to
go as high as 81 and still, remain gals to
all intents and purposes, but taey usually
range from II to %, of which ages it is
not difficult to find full blown speci-
mems.
They are pretty we'll distributed over
the country, but rather skarse in Oregon
and Californy, where ship load was
sent the other day to supply the market;
the home demand ain't5so good as twas
afere the war, but t;s thought to be i'm
provin lately. Their occupation consists
mostly ofspinniI street yarn, croshaying,
reading stories and talkin about the
young men. Some on EN- have been
known to take holt and help their mothers
do the work bout the house, but they
all spoke for. Of sich was Sally Maria
aforesaid.
There's CRATE difference IN EN-, scor-
din to the time o'day you happen to see
EN-. IF it's in the mornia, they look
cross and disholothy, and like broom.
stick dressed up into meal bag. Rea-
son why, is cause the, amt fixed up, and
no man, unless he's married, has any right
TO look at EN- till afternoon when they
git fixed up with their fammydiadles
onto EN-. / neglerted to state that they
vary in cullir cordin to circumstances,
and like the kamelyoh are red or white
to suit the occasion. Thep are very
ehangeable in temperature, ranging all
the way from sulky 20 clever and smilin.
The last degree can be reached most any
time by prolnisin 'em new gownd
They have queer notions bout the close
they wear; have their. dresses short to
the top and long to the bottom so as to
ketch up all the old hoops and sigar
stumps and to keep the sidewalks clean.
and they wear muffs to keep their hands
warm, and shoes with paper soles on
EN-. They don't think so much of their
own hair as they used to, when they car
ried it round in little bags on their shoul-
ders; but now they wear eatacombs and
folaerols made of other wimmins hair
fetched over from foreign countries where
they raise it for sale and shear 'em reg
lar like we do sheep. What they wear
EN- for hasn't yet been discovered. /
asked Sally Maria once, and she said il
was none 0 my biz, SO | materially con-
cluded it wasn't They ike to wear
things like the other sext, and have sue
ceeded in various cases--except in pull
ling off their shoes with a boot jack
therein they failed. But they don't swear
nor chaw terbacker, which is a remarka.
be fact considerin their hankerin artel
the fashions, and the bad habits set afore
'em.
One singular fact about 'em, in many
cases, is after they git to be about nine.
teen they don't grow no older for several
years Don't no why, butsposeit's theil
mater.
Take 'em all round they're queer crit
ters. They most alters say no when they
mean yes, and cry when they're tickled
The best way to get 'em to do a thing
is to tell 'em they shan't, and the onl,
way to drive 'cm is by coaxing, and tn,
better they like feller the wus they tall
about him. The clever enes grow vi
and gifts married, and the ugly ones grow
up to be old maids who keep pet tom-cat
aud take care other peoples babies.
Finally, gals are great institution
which we couldn't well dispense with
They're handy to have round to picnic'
parties and sich like, and to play copper
hagin with. Long may they wave.
Yours to command. LIS.
II