The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1866-11-29

:, Hs Obituaries exceeding nSe hnes charged 1oi
,atadyertising rates. -.
The Dog Gonest Dog.
Durn the dog! There goes three ny
I've pane Of glass out of the door, and
there goes the ,cussedest and wusseoeFt
sspiece Of excitable canine We ever saw
-Four years ago, the day after a chap on
Ghe cars had the upper end of his snHte
Dunched for callins us q traitor, 20.
Hatcher gave us that red and brindle
batch ofa dog, 6hen done up small like,
but looking so bull doggish that we were
afraid of his picture for o week !! ,Po.
said he was: an Alabama bull dog import
ed from New, Jersey in basket, as a
sample of the handsome of that country.
But he was purity pup. His. tail was
no longer than a wicked mans prayer,
and was full as stunnin And those ears.
They looked like the small corner OF plug
tobacco. And such eyes. And such eye
brows. When he was but child, So
called. some monster must have slung
him against a stonewall, for his eyelids
look like Ben. Buffers sort'r shamed OF
'something! His jaws were pretty
laws. They were so severe in their
;angles-there were so much jaw in pro-
portion to the purp that we wanted to
eall5him Swisshelm, but he was not that
kind Of q dog. But ne was nigh onto all
Jaw.
=; We kept him four weeks in a sanctum,
and all the time hired niger to watch
him. He'd steal-stealis no name for it,
Soywe concluded to call him John Brown.
And he kept the niger mighty basy
watching him, till at last the niger being
snch smart unimicky educational cuss,
cot 80 much worse nor the dog, that we
Gent the dog to watch the niger. Egad J,
wasn't it a.fnN team? Strange how mig
gers will learn things.
And he was the hungriest dog we ever
saw. a penny worth. of beer didn't, last
him as long as a ten dollar bill would a,
politician the night before the election.
.He, had q .fne,voice for beef. And what
the, dog would not eat the niger wonld1 !
And-t6e1 dog grew, large and ponderous
abeat the jaws. He used to eat papers
mats, vests, old hats, gloves, patent 1eath-
er boots, window curtains and sich. he
ate sue such stuff for desert. That dog ate a
full cals.bound set of Harper's Weekly one
tiay. lust on account of the calf. And he
ate ten copies of the Chicago z'lbane one
day. but the lies in them papers made him
80 doc eonned sick all that week that he
would have died if the niger in ,em
hadn't emeticked lem out, andso got we'll.
But heInever piued himself to a shadow trN
hankering. after Republican newspapers
aIay more. And he kept on stealing. We
always thought those Republican news
papers aided in the development OF that
complaint, for he was sure to steal all the
nigger earned for US. :.
FED walk out on rainy day for his
health, and always come back with some
Hhine he had found. Once it was q lady's
veil. Then it was half a ham with a,
butchers knife sticking init. What he
wanted to bring the knife with him Tor,
is more than we know, unless ne had to
.catand run. One day he came in with a
baby's cradle There was some blood on
the edge Of it, and all that afternoon the
'buIi-man was out ringing the bell, and
Yelling "a boy lost" John Brown didn't
90 out for two or three days. Once he
g came in with wooden leg IN his teeth.
Thst night .wooden-legged soldier was
missing, but, as crippled soldiers were OF
no account, he didn't try to keep shy q
Bit BE brought us the leg, no doubt 1lo1 y,
thinking it the kind Of club we like Tor
the La Crosse Democrat. And he used to
find money! He'd go into store and
snatch greenbacks outiof q cash drawer
Just as handy. One day he come In :. with VT
q contribution box he'd stolen from the
entry way of. % close communion church.
He carried the box behind the end OF
the sideboard, broke it open and looked
sick. John Brown never stole contri-
button box again, and after that, when
we'd point to that box and smile, he'd
.drop his tail, what there was of it, and
Hooked inst like Ben. Butler does when
having his picture taken. And he'd steal
ihalters, brides, saddles and such stuff
And as he grew older, he actually united
% horse and led him across the line into
Minnesota. When any one would call
out "John Brown" he'd go for a horse
sure. And SO we had to change ms name.
What to call the cuss we didn't know
Bat as he had chawed up so many books,
and was always meddling with what was
none of his business, and grew to be sort
ofloematic and radical about his bloody
laws we left off calling him John Brown,
and called him Charles Sumner. For
awhile he seemed to like it. He was an
ambitious dog, andto keep hisname good
.meddled with SO much that was none Of
his business that at last he got q dogoned
canning, which so affected his p: backbone ,:
that we had to send for Anna Dlcklnson
After she strengthened up his. spinal yer