The New era. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1865-1871, 1866-10-25
''ous -Mythoiogy---Uho was
Neptune!
humorous
BY A CALIFORNIA PuNsTER.

luCo. HIS Iatner was so eXtraNagantlN
fond OF him that he had him for his
breakfast the morning he was born
Most fathers would have felt badly at
the early demise Of their child. Saturn
did, but it was only because of indi-
heart at all, but rather where the whale
took Jonah. As we have said, Saturn
was a good deal hurt at the tilial in
gratitude of Neptune in refusing to
digest, and at last he forcibly elected
him from his premises.
Saturn made a digest of the laws
passed by the Legislature, besides a
number of tough and ridiculous things.
and he had not anticipated any trouble
in slowing away trit1ing little deity or
two.
When Neptune was released, he Joined
With his brothers in the rebellion against
their stern parent, and was the object of
particular hatred on the part of Saturn.
The indignant old gentleman struck at
him large number of times, but his
musical faculty was poorly developed,
and he never could strike tune of any
kind. Nep-or otherwise.
Saturn was time ITSELF and at the end
of fourteen days he of course became
too weak to make any further resist
ttIlSS, NlO 1IaA W SuCCuIID.
When the cruel war was over, he
became saturnine, and refused any com
fort or in fact bed clothes of any kind,
but he was not left out in the cold by a
great deal.
Jupiter confined him to Tartarus.
where he languished in hopeless inn
prisonment, although Jupiter, when he
assumed the Presidency, did not enlarge
upon the fact that treason is crime, and
must be punished he made no arrange
ments for granting pardons by the
quantity. Besides, he did not wish to
conciliate, but to punish, whether the
guilty party was worth 10000 scud or
not. But then his term of office was for
life, so there was no necessity for pro-
viding for reelection.
The universe was divided by a sort of
rule of three between the brothers.
Neptune took notion to the ocean, and
proceeded to seize the seas. He pro-
claimed himself monarch of all he sur
veyed. How many acres that was is
not stated, but it is likely he surveyed
enough for his immediate residence, as
it would have been almost impossible to
have measured the whole ocean. Nep-
tune built himself splendid palace
beneath the wave. All the wood work
was made of sea-der, and painted in
ultra marine. 1t had nearly all the
modern conveniences; although there
was no gas, he had water all over the
house. Mother of pearl was engaged
for his house keeper. Neptune helped
to do the heaviest part of the building
himself, for, although not by any means
II powerful god, he had good deal of
muscle.
Neptune was rather good looking
deity. He is represented on ancient
gems as scudding over the sea in half
shell, under bare poles, with a mere
tritie as to garments upon his person.
He carried three pronged hay-fork in
his hand, while dolphins and mermen
gamboled around him. From the fact
that Pharaoh was lost in the Red Sea, it
is not unlikely that they may have
found him, and made him their game.
This is only surmise, however.
Neptune was married to two or three
wives. He was quite fearless of the
perils of matrimony. Being in the
ocean all the time, he knew that there
was no danger of getting into hot water
ON account of it.
His favorite spouse was Amphitrite.
She had two children Triton was the
elder. He was made his fathers trum-
peter. He was by no means violent
god, but he frequently came to blows,
although it is not stated what he did
when he got them. He performed with
some taste on the conch shell, and was
the patron deity of canal boatmen.-
Some one has stated that his favorite
air was, "Shells of the Ocean," but this
is very likely poor gag, as Triton lived
under water, and had no air of any
kind, and the song was written by Soc
rates long afterward.
Triton had sister named Rhoda, who
was wooed by the Sun God, and won, in
the form Of water-spout. Not the
tiny kind, however, that adorn the out
side of dwelling houses.
Another of Neptune's wives was
Iphenedia. She had two sons married,
Olus and Ephialtes, who were giants in
those days, and probably would have
been in these if they had lived.
These precocious and fistine urchins,
when they were nine years old, attempt
ed to scale heaven by piling the Tes-
salian mountains on each other. Their
father ordered them wisely to desist, SO
they contented themselves by scaling
the finny creatures who sported in the
back yard.
Tho CvoInpo pnlvUhamuc Voc tho con