Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1866-05-02
phac. Plum and phaEcy.

Why dou't you nane the day?
phac, Plum and phSEcy.
- We have heard II great many
queer things about mean meis hnt none
TIA, gave a more powerful idea of mean
ness i!an ,h,. following fact. y man once
drove ur to New Hampshire tavern and
cuoly asked FIR cents worth of hay.
The landlord Ird the horse TO the shed.
and then filed the wagon with loose hay
Alea,lwhle the owner of it called for II
hasfqil5Is ~ and soap; and after wasling his
face and hands and thoroughly wipsd
himself dry on a "seeJy.clean" towel,
laid down his cent, and was moving oil.
''Isay,'' said tile landlord wont you
take drink before You g"l"
We'll. seein' its you, don't care 1t
do" was the reply; and back he went
and took drink.
lyon don't live in these parts, be-
lirve. stranger" said the tavern keeper.
,:;>E,n." was the reply; don't; but
d. by occasionally, and a you havr
treated me 50 well this time, III call aad
putyoni=e yon a9aiM :"
rWe y benevolent lady went to visit
n family who were said to be almost
starving. She found them half clad, cold.
and nnt.a morsel Of food in the house.
What do you most need 2 What would
YOU like to have?' she asked of the moth
er Of the f.nily. The woman thought
for moment, her face Frightened, and
she answered. why, always did want
waterfall /; they're SO tecoming!'
r% 4 woman in Pennsylvania has
petitioned for divorce '''because she and
her husband do not agree on politics. P"
She is for Andy.
~" Any ting bite you dar," inquired
one Dutcfman of another, while engaged d
in angling. 4" No, noting at ALL" "Vell, .
returned the other, noting bite me too"
~" Isay, boy, whose morse is that
you are riding 2"
Why, it's daddy's."
Who is your daddy 2"
"Why, don't you know ?-he's uncle
Peter Jones"
$50 you're the sonof your uncle; how
do YOU make that out young man!"
"'Wcll, don't know 'zac.Iy how 'tis,
replied the boy "but you see daddy got
to be widower, and married mothers
sister, who is aunt Sally, and so he's my
uncle now"
No. a fellow said he was glad the
President had vetoed the Freedmen's bill.
"But what are your reasons :" inquired
a bystander. lie replied: "Cause the
Black Republicans wanted to give every
damn nigger down South bureau, while
half the White folks haint got none"
G INTELLECTUAL CApAcIrY.-A Com
mon Councilman's slady, paying her daugh-
ter visit at school, and inqurng what
progress she made in her education, the
governess answered:
pretty good, madam; miss is very
attentive, if she wants anything it is Gu
pacity butfor that deficiency, you know,
we must not blame her..
NNo madam replied the mother; bai
blame you for not having mentioned ii
before. Her father, thank Heaven, can
afford his daughters capacity, and beg
she may have one and Immediately, cost
what it may"
~ Coop Anv1cE,-lf the poor-house
has any terror for you. never buy what
YOU don't need. Before you pay three
cents for jews.harp, see if you cant
make just as pleasant q noise by whist
linr-for such nature furnishes the ma
chinery. And before you pay seven dol
lars for figured vest, young man, find
out whether your lady love would not be
Just as glad to see you in plain one that
cost half the money. If she wouldn't
let her crack her own walnuts and buy
her own clothes.
sye 4 writer for the Madison Qndt)
Journal is travelling in Mississippi. He
sees much that is Objectionable, and draws
upon his fertile imagination for. much
more. lie complains bitterly of the want
of kindly feeling towards Northerners,
and gives the following item of expert
ence in vindication of his statements:
At a plantation | visited. the lady own
er, who was widow, spoke SO frequent
" and so bitterly against the Yankees, ;"
that it was hard for me to endure. With
view of checking the unkind expressions
used in speaking Of my people. ] gently
informed her that | was from the North
myself. It had its effect, for thsrcaftcr
she made handy use of apronoun, Instead
of the adjective
aMadam, have you any milk 2"
"No! You Yankees stole all my COWS" :"
"l,oy," said I, turning abruptly to her
son, u lad of twelve years or more, chow
old are you 4?
"Don't know. You id Yankees
stole our Bible! -
There is no. use-you can't switch
them off from that subject.
@A Western paper says the best
way to kill d-bugs is to chain their hind
legs to q tree, then 60 round i'll font and
make mouths at them.
-a Gilt-edged butter" is getting 10
be quite an article Of consumption in
cheap boarding.houses-yallow around the
edges and lard inside.
LasrFoND LooKs.-When lady
1--WE are talking of q lady in the full height
n L.. fbar