The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1866-11-16
'sBrickv Pemeroy's Humorous and
Scientific Account Of the Great Me.
teoric Hail storm. r-sr-s

.sBrick" Pemeroy's Humorous and
Scientific Account Of the Great Me.
teoric Hail storm. -r-s=
NV head will not be visible for
week. read in the almanacs that on
the 18th of November, A. d. 1866, there
was to be grand shower of meat or
meteors from way up there way down
here, commencing at three o'clock In
the early part of the A. NJ. The papers
all said so, too. The wives, widows,
children, cooks, ehambermaids, pretty
girls and unpretty girls all said So.
What a meteor was / knew not. AS
the shower was coming from the Little
Bear, though it was sausage storm,
which could bear. Thought it was a
sausage storm, for the sages foresaw, or
the four sages saw it. Thought l could
meet it with platonic emotion. Then
found it was not meat, but a shower OF
stones in LIQUID form. Of course they
were precious stones. So said the
cook, tire chambcrmaid, and everybody.
| wanted some, so resolved to be on
hand.
Midnight came. The subscriber slept
not. Like Joseph, he slept not because
he was not sleepy. dosed till o'clock
in the 4. NJ, and in the bed, or words to
that effect. I wrcstled with the ghost
of five dozen raw oysters, four pigs feet,
Il head of cabbage, bottles OF catsup
and ten mugs OF ale. 1t was Il severe
wrestle. and breathed the fresh air OF
NV native hills as it went marching on.
arose at .. 1t was the first rose OF
Autumn at that hour. looked at my
watch. 1t was there. | thanked the
Givcr of all good that l was not in New
York, when the brave, bOuntiful But
Ter, with his secondhand eye was there,
or my watch would have run down to
Lowell!
The meteor show was q free show.
Reserved seats for ladies. / wanted 4
front seat, and arose to Onect! | man
ufactured my toilet a la Gen. Washburn,
as he tore it out of Memphis like a
phantom dag OF truce. | would have
made a good ballet girl for the Black
Crook, but my waterfall was not con-
structed right for the wear and tear OF
the stage. Tide Smyth! went upward
like Daniel in the lion institute, or like
Elijah with his skating park head.
arose through the skylight to the dignity
of the roof. The morning was In the
dim distancc-very much that way
The twilight was colder than the sky
light, and | tried them both. My opera
glass was at my uncle's-had been to
three balls and didn't return!
Must have glasses. Took one along
in sections. The right hand barrel came
to a focus on rye. The left hand barrel
acted on cogniac! To look through
this style of upper-a-slass shut botl
eyes and open the mouth. Through
dark glass things are scen-at times
With this style Of glass we had sky
light view. / sat on the roof. 1t was
roof place to rest on. Not like come
rest in this bosom to which we aspire
of us. The air was foreign. 1t was
chill. But we were not north OF
south, merry cuss for all that. Who
would be a merry cuss, sitting on the
cold roof. dressed us | was, waiting fol
something to turn up? l dangled my
feet over the ledge. | saw stars over
head. looked up for once i'll my life
You bet. My neck ached. Then tined
the glasses-first one barrel, then two
Above us were stars. saw stars on the
street. They had blue coats on. The
stars overhead winled at me when
raised "the ryew The stars below mC
They Guored. Tho starr
overhead were in the milky way. The
stars below me We're not in that way
but in Broadway. They were not the
milky way style of stars!
saw dimly. My opera glass was toe
strong. 1t made me nervous. l looked
about and saw much ghosts on the roof
Felt quite grave. Felt like coughin'
MANY ghosts. Didn't see the meteors
Saw many heads out of windows below
me. Pleasant morning. No rain. No
waterfalls at that hour on Broadway!
How / winked! Was looking for
meteors. The stars overhead were look
inc for metcors. At least they winked.
1t was very cold. Used the opera = lass
often. One barrel at time. Warmed
me inwardly, but the heat lodged i'll my
throax. Like political sermons, 1t
didn't warm the back part of its au
dience. Ny dress was like that of Gen.
Washburn when he lett all garments
but one and fled through Memphis. He
was modest man, and so he ran. Per-
haps he wanted exercise, and ran for
that. | wanted exercise. The meteors
didn't meet. So ! thought to run over
the roof. Ran against a ghost. 1t
spoke to me. 1t screamed "Oh, my
darling childw Says |, "Are you my
mother-hayc you strawberry, or a
blackberry mark" Says the ghost,
"You've knocked me down-you've
killed the babe / held in my arms ~
/ offered to get her another one. She
said: "You laundering brutew "My
name is not Butler" quoth to her.
The ghost was a married one. At least
there was circumstantial evidence
pointing that way. She was taking the
morning air; and while taking it she
lost her morning heir! Says to the
ghost Lend me garments y And
20 without p says she. "Shiftless fe-
male" said |. YOU'RE another" spoke
she. tried the opera glass again.
Said she: "Oh, you amt naughty,
naughty. man, then, after all?' why
so ?" "Hand me your nursing bottle"
Mistaken ghost. Then knew she was
from the spirit land!
s,The moen began TO strengthen, but it
came not to focus. The gentle zeph-
ers zephered like the devil-or words to
that meaning. l felt coldness creep
ing over me. No meteors yet. The
ghosts chartered all about ME. | felt
rheumatism. The opera-g lass grew
lishtcr-both barrels. / found Chin
ney top. 1t felt generous. 1t gave out
q subducd warmth. 1t was a brick
chimney, therefore sat on it. No me-
teors vet. The stars began falling back
like Sigel. / thought it was strategy,
to induce the meteors to advance. The
chimney felt little warm, emptied
the bottles, and threw the cOrks at a
red-headed ghost with q waterfall. l
slung the bottles over the battlements,
that a city editor below might see stars.
remembered that the Fire Commits
sioners were to ring bell ten times to
wake me up when meteor died, and like
l.