The Ebensburg Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1865-1871, 1866-09-13


TIE C0URsE or TRUE LoYE-Oat in
Missouri lives Mrs Hampalc, who has,
or had,fa daughter named Laura. Laura
LoSed q man named Jack. This man
Jack the mother didn's like, and she was
informed 5y neighbor that Jack and
Laura had arranged plan for an elope-
nest. Her mind was quickly made up.
She announced to Laura next morning
that she was going to Bellville on a visit,
t0,be gone three days, and that she must
be q gcod girl and not tear he house
dowp while she was gone.
eIiaat might Jack knew Of it, aud as he
read the nice little note that bade him
"Gapper over early and stay uGnl mother
comes back, and wha. splendid time we
will have" he smiled, knocked the ashes
from his cigar, and resolved Of course be
would go,
Jack went over. There Is no earthly
use in attempting to describe the delecta-
bic things lie enjoyed; but it was sugar
seasoNen that plantation, sure. just be-
fore dusk, while Jack was brinful of the
glory of the occasion, in rushed Miss
Laura's waiting-woman with
o"Eor bress my brack soul, chillen, ef
yere amt old missus right q: the gate
sure
-tssDh, Dinah! What shall we do with
Jack II exclaimed the terrified Laura.
lt'Pop i'm in dat ar closet dar;" sugges-
ted Dinnh and Jack was bundled into
the closet in twinkling.
A moment after in walked the old lady,
AID after scrutinizing Laura's blushing
countenance, she felt sure Jack had beer
there, aud said:
"Ccrne here, Laura Now, you can't
deceive me-that abominablc Jack Plain
has been here, and you and he have fixed
up'a runaway match, TO come off tonight.
Oh, you little mink you TO treat me so
after what [ have done COR you! But
you'll find your mother no fool You'll
find she knows thing Or two, if she does
say I'll herself. Rather than you should
marry that miserable Jack Plain, I'd see
you laid in ;he grave He's not going to
squander my money, I assure you"
The old lady arose, and going to
clothes press, returned with several COM
forters and a pillow, which she threw into
the closet where Jack was concealed, and
then turning to the trembling Laura, she
exclaimed, in a tone of thunder
"hlarch in there, miss step right
along III see that you cont go nowhere
near that low-fung mechanic this night"
Laura whimpered and protested that
she didn't want to, declaring thai her
mother would be sorry for it some time;
but. without paying any attention to her
prOtestati0ns. the mother pushed her into
the closet, shut the door, locked it, tri-
III han nv fha l-oI- bar ronloE a,l
In due time wen; to bed.
Pretty early In the morning, the old
lady arose, fshed the key from her pock-
ct, and opened the closet door She ga
zed wildly in for moment, aud then ut
tered piercing scream, but recovering
very speedily, Size started from the door,
calling faintly-
laura, Laura, dear, 90 into the kitch-
en- and see about breakfast
Then preaently-
"Jack, Jack, come here ~
Jack came forth with very sOn-iu-law
looking air
--''+HAlcff cit; madam, you called me-"
Jack, do you know anything about
farm ?"
Nothing to speak of, marm."
"Y"u can read, write, and cipher,
suppose 2"
Nothing to brag Of, marin"
"At any rate, you know the Lords
prayer, Jack 90
'FA little, marm."
"Well, l think that after breakfast you
and Laura may az we'll go and get mar
ried, for "a tired watching you, that's
fact, and besides-well, be good boy
QUoDLIBETs. Ts.-Like cures like. Sui
pher comes from Eesuvius therefore, it
is goed for eruptions.
O., A dogma is defined as au opinion laid
down with a snarl
~ Why is. John AIorrissey, since his re-
tirement from the prize ring, like Daniel
Webster? Because he is an ex -pcurder