The Jackson standard. [volume] (Jackson C.H., Ohio) 1847-1888, 1866-10-11
dis Iskariots wich, eff | am whom, wat

!
from speech Nv our noble and patriotic
President, and KNOWN bis intellek
wuzn't hefty enough to git it off jist as
it wuz originally delivered, took him
by the throat and shet off the food NV
his elokencey r..r .gr.
"Be quiet, 700 IDIOT" remarked l
Soothingly to him, ''yoo'l git your ap-
pintment becoz for the fust time in the
history NV this or any other Republic,
there's market for jist sich men ez 700,
but all this blatherwoB't fetch it a min
it sooner"
"Good Lord. :" thot !, ez | turned
away, "wat President A. j. is, to hev
to buy up sch cattle Wat postnas-
ter be must be, whose ginera cussed-
ness turns any siummick." -"
1t was deemed necessary to see Nv
wat we wuz composed, whereupon Ker-
mel K, who is now Kollector Nv
Revenue in 1lIinoy, asked eff there was
airy man in the room who he'd bin a
primer doorin the late fratricidle strug-
gle. A gentleman Nv perhaps thirty
aroze and sed he wuz. He he'd bin
takin three times and WIZ, altogether,
l8 months in doorance vile in three diff
trent prizuns.
Custer fell on his neck and asked him,
aggitatidly, ef he wuz shoor-quite
Shoor, after sufferin all that, that he
supported the policy of the President! !
Are you quite shoor-quite shoOr!
81 am, - returned the phenomenon, II
stand by Andrew Johnson and his poll
cy, and | don't want no office"
"Iev 700 got wun?" shouted they
all in korus.
"Nary." said he; "with me it is
matter Nv principle" ..... ....
swat prizuns wuz you incarcerated
in ?" asked | lookin at him with wunder.
''Fust at Cam Morton, then at Camp
Douglas, and finally at Johnson's Is
land!" Custer dropt him, and the rest
remarked that while they he'd very
helthy opinion NV him, they guessed he
better not menshen his presence, or con-
slider himself a delegate. Ez ginrous
foes they loved him ruther better than a
brother, yet as the call didn't quite in
clood him, tho there wuz delightful
oneness between em, yet eff 'twuz all the
same he had better not announce his
self He wuz from Kentucky after
wards ascertaind.
The next mornin, suthing over two
hundred more arriv, and the delega-
shens bein all in, it wuz decided to 60
on with the show. A big tent he'd bin
brought on from Boston, to accommo-
date the expected crowd, and quite an
animated discussion arose ez to wich
corner nv it the Convenshun wuz to oc-
kepy. This settled, the bznis wuz be-
gun. Genral Wool was made tempo
rary Chairman, to wich honor he res
ponded in elokent extemporaneous
speech, which he read from manuscript,
Genral Ewing made another extempo-
raneous address which he read from
manuscript, and we adjoumedfor dinner.
The dinner hour was spent iii caucus
sin privately in one Nv the parlors NV
the hotel The Chairman asked who
shood make speeches after dinner when
every man NV EN- pulled from his right
side coat pocket a roll Nv manuscript
and sed he had dotted down few ices
wich he he'd conclooded to present eX-
tempOraneously to the COnvenshun.
The Babel over, the Chairman sed he
PERSONNEL some one shood be selected
to prepare an address, whereupon every
delegate rose and pulled roll Nv manu-
script from his lett side coat pocket and
sed he he'd dotted down few ices on
the situashn wich be proposed to pre-
sent, ct settry. This occasioned anoth-
er shindy, wen the Chairman remarked
''resolushens," wen every delegate rose,
pulled roll Nv manuscript from his
right breast coat pocket and sed he he'd
iotted down a few ices wiCh, &c.
stood it until some wun mentioned
me ez Chaplin to the expedishn West,
when the pressure becum uncomfortable.
They spozed l wuz keeper Of the Presi-
dents conscience, and he'd not min
it's peace after that. In vain ashOor-
ed EN- that there bein no consciences
about the White House, no one could
hold sich offis--in vain | ashOored EN-
that | hed no influence with his Majesty.
thirds of EN- pulled applicashens
fer places they wanted from the left
breast coat pocket, and insistid on my
takin them and seein that they wuz ap-
pinted. told EN- that | Good do nuth
in for EN-, but they laft me to skorn.-
"You are jist the style Nv man." sed
they, ''yho hez infooence with his
Eggslency, and you must do it." Hem
med in, there wuz but one way NV es-
cape, and that way l took. Seezin
carpet sack, wich, by the way belonged
to delegate, Il took it to give myself
the look NV traveler9 rushed to the
depot and startid home, entirely salts
fled that eff Cleveland may be takin ez
sample, the less his Majesty depends on
solgers, the better.
PETROLEUM V. NAsBY, p. NJ.
-... (wich is Postmaster
land likewise late chaplin to the expe-
dishn.)
P. 81 opened the carpet sack on
the train spectin to find clean shirt in
it. 1t contained, to my disgust, an adj
dress to be read before the Cleveland
Convention, a set Nv resolutions, a
,,,oool, onl n uotitiOn nv tha nrOnrietor