davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1866-11-09
atit a,,a it'isdo,n.

When didAbraham sleep five in a bed?
When he slept with his fOrc-fathers.
NATrRAL.--That "bread and butter
men" should be made out Of "dough.
faces"
WANTED TO KNow.--If two hogs
heads mako u pipe, how many will
make a cigar? ...aa..
A fool In high station IS like mnn
in II balloon everybody appears little
TO him, and he appears little to every
body. 81. .'........t. =.
A country boy who had read of sail
ors heaving up anchors, wanted to know
II 1t was sca-sickncss that made them
do it.
To take events chccrfully, and to pro-
mote the happiness Of others, IL the
way to insure anenduring spring ofex-
istcnce. g. raF .f -.. Fla
A QUESTION OF PRIvELEGE. Might
member of Parliament speak OF his
wife as the Eve of his election?
WoNDERFUL WORK. The man who
made shoe for the foot of a mountain,
is now engaged on a hat for the head OF
discourse aftor which he will manu-.
facturc plume for General IntcIli.
gence. g. a. .rt.-......
3 An unwashed street boy being asked
what made him 40 dirty, his reply was:
They tell me l was made OF the dust
of the ground, and | reckon l's just
working out"
A solution IL required for the follow.
ing arithmetical question: If Il hard
knot be tied IN u cats tail, which way,
how long, and with what SUCCESS will
sle run after it? Also, who tied the
knot?
A down-east editor said he was In a
boat when the wind blew hard, but liv
was n ot mt all alarmed, because he had
his life insured; he never had any,
thing happen to him by which ho
could make any money.
] lie who is open, without Ievity; gem
erous, without waste; secret, without
craft; humble, without neanncss bold,
without insolence; cautious, without
anxiety regular, yet not formal mild,
yet not timid firm, yet not ty ratnical;
--is made to pass the ordeal OF honor,
friendship, and virtue.
Erie, fenn., tii~-aA - 4i--,.-rtyr u ,vt.,r
for "rnry Hogden." iIc was told
there was none. "Look 'cre,p he re-
piled, a little angrily, 'you'vo hexam.
incd hodd letter for my name. Ii
don't commence with haitch! II be-
gina with a ho! Look in the 'oie that's
got the hp's'' 1915
Some writer has said that fixed idea
is sort of gimlct every year gives IL
another turn; to pull It out the first
year is like plucking ont the hair by
the roots; the second, like tearing the
skin; tho third, like breaking the
bones and the fourth, like removing
the very brain itself rt ~
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1866-11-09
. Misesllanu.
FROM LAKE MICHIGAN 70 THE
MISSOURI.

SCENERY IN lOwA-THE HAPPY
vALLEK-wOOD and wATaiR-A
MAP OF C1vELhZATIcN-AH the
CoTEON-EvOOD-sa SHEEP ana GEESE
-CsIILDEtEN -. y. end N. s.-IOwA
SCHOOL.HOUsEs,& &c. ...
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1866-11-09
SIMEON FLEISCH,

ORION PARs),
ytAFNYE:s, oF EvERR STYLE. WORK DONE
j short notice. Shop in the rear OF oVermans
Bl.Gs. Cedar Fails. ls3m
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1866-11-09
Social Piety.

Social piety is growing obsolete; from
this most important sphere practical
religion is fast being excluded. The
public opinion of this refined age is
Just rs eflectually banishing practical
godliness from the ordinary intercourse
of society, as the profession of it was
banished from Rome by the edicts Of
Claudius. Over the social department. Of
life, the world exercises an exclusive,
stern and relentless sway. 1t will allow
you to profess religion, and be as de-
vout as you choose in your religious
obseryances, but the moment you enter
the social pale, it requires you to abjure
your religious profession, and adopt
it's modes, obey its maxims, speak its
language, cultivate its temper, and be
the friend of its friends and the enemy
of its enemies. Should you dissent, II
will prescribe and eXcommunicate you
from its social circle, under the charge
of enthusiasm; and, III nothing more,
it will strike you with its tongue; and
just in this way, as it has ever been, q
| Il pIA,. 1ai,,,i 4 ;e-..itsr Lafnrn whinh rintv
silent and sinful timidity, and thereby
commits the sin of being ashamed Of
Christ before men. IT requires more
courage to rise up to the precious
singu!afily Of confessing Christ in this
relation Of life, than it does to go to u
martyrs stake.
THE other day a marine at the Brook
lyn navy yard barracks was said to
have the cholera, suddenly collapsed,
and, to all appearance, died. Imnic-
diately burial was ordered; coffin was
procured ard the defunct soldier was
ensconced The funeral procession was
formed and the dirgc was being played
IA the party made its mournful march to
the last resting place, where priyates
and comanders are equal; when the tired
marine be ing weary lying Oh his back
turned over and ratified at the coffin door
for breath of mir. CONSERVATION
seized the mOurners, the pall-bearers
became pale with terror, the casket, by
some mems which no one has been
able to explain, towing to the sudden
confusion,) opened, and the marine
sat up and spoke of things partaning
to this life. lie still lives and is doing
well.
A PROFESSOR TAKEN DowN.-Dur-
ing the receut session OF the Teachers
Institute In Rutland Coanty, VT,
while Prof. Adams was illustrating the
| manner of teaching arithmetic, he took
up small globe standing on the desk
| and asked:
/ "Iiow many units in the globe?"
| Answer--"One.o .ott9f
Taking up his hat, "How many
units IN my hat?"
Answer (by naughty boy in the au
i. diencel l-"s;hake it aud see!'
j Tie professor was taken down.
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1866-11-09

THE FRIEDMAN.
BY CASPAR BuTTZ.


Founded on facts. and inscribed to Mr Andrew
Johnson. The poem appears in the HcSt
tieche Post Of st. Louis, in German.
The edays'haveshortcned,t thcscold winds moan
what wandcrer crosses the field alone,
Facing the wintry weather.
With weary feet through the wood he goes:
The fading twilight n pale CLEAN throws,
And the mists of the even ing gather.
DuslSy his features and woody his hair;
Torn and dusty and faded with wear, ....
see the blue coat of the private; ..s .4.
On his shoulder he carries the Union gun.
From the great campaign, from the victory wo,
He hastens his home to arrive at.
The Union ! in darkest days of all, ".. "s..
He rushed to battle, obeycd her call, .H -
When life or death was the guerdon!
In the last grcat Tight his bayonet shonc:
And now he comes back with JOY to his own,
Released from slaverys .burdon.
He hurries along the lighted streets. w." ..'
But his eyes he scarcely raises
To The marble walls; and OF all he meets,
With timorous stcp, that trombIcl not .--
In the widest roar OF cannon,
When Petersburg vollcyed her deadly shot,
He shuns every white companion.
Aud farther and farther. with weary feet,
Through the city's darkening mazos
He hurries,a and still no man does he meet
Who welcomes him or praises:
But here, where the cabins stand In n row,
Whittier his step have tended,
The JOY of home i'm his heart doth glow
For his prllsrimago is ended.
Softly he knocks at the lowly door ..
ON the doorstep his musllet ratt!es;
Inside his little one plays on the floor
And listens amid his prnttlcs
He opens" fathcr!" lie shouts at the sight
Here he is, home again, motherr
And child and hushand,and wife with delight
Are kissing and clasping each other.
Home again, home again, happy and free!
In his arms his baby lie tosses; .s
Z" Great was the BOOM md worth more to me
Than ten times my struggle and crosses
For you the money my labor earns,
For You the pursuit of pleasure;
Twas a stuUe went forth, but man returns!
The sword has won Liberty's treasure.
There's crashing knock at the cabin door;
The panels shatter and shiver;
He springs to his riiie--on picket once more
who's there ?'the Union forever!
" In the name of the State" the Sheriff begins
81 arrest you--the handouts are ready
No niggcr allowed to carry u gun!
All right, to Jail with him s.cady!'
moan,
The days have iongthened, the March winds
What wanderer crosses the fields alone,
Facing tho wintry weather?
o Freedom! the leaves of the laurel are shed
Thou wanderest silent with dropping head,
And the mists of the midnight gather.
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1866-11-09

Founded on facts. and inscribed to Mr.. Andrew
Johnson. The poem appears in tho H'cst-
Heche Posi- Of st. Louis, In German.
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1866-11-09


Ifyou ever had any doubt rs to tht
geography of the Happy Valley in
" Rassclas,' fifty-mile ride through
Iowa will dispel it. There, runs {
river curving as gracefully as the paths
In the old pastures now hidden by
bordering groves now flashing out in
the sun like an unsheathed sword; now
feeling its way stealthily round head
land now laid at the base of bluff
like n sickle among the grain. Here
the valley narrOws to the breadth of O
mile there widens to two or three.
Such possible farms as lie there under
your eye like n picture; fields all ready
for the plough meadows ripe for the
rasp of the seythe. New landscapes
open to the view at every turn of the
or river not rude or wild, but as placid
and christian as any in the valley OF
the Connecticut. There is q look of culti-
ration everywhere that is almost ilIu-
sive. Perhaps / cannot give you a
better idea of the region than to say,
that if you could take the most beauti-
full vale you ever saw, where man and
nature havesbeen at work in partner
ship for half u century could remove
the villages, the metes and bounds
wipe them clcanly out, as you might q
tracing from slate with wet finger;
there would be about such landscape
as unrolls down valley of Iowa.
The lonely prairie vastncss, with the
wild indigo that perhaps made you
blue" is shut out, and the traveller
warns up with a sort of home feeling.
True, many fine farms already checker
it,and many pleasant homes arcalready
nestled in the little groves; but what a
breadth Of richest territory is lying idle
in the sun-territory with the three
dimensions, length, breaAth. and thick
ing dentistry on the rough roots OF
forest molars, or striking fire with their
hoes on the pavements of fields through
whose stony clefts the flint corn grows.
And this is only one valley among
them all. Sec the glories Of the Boyer,
down which the railroad is going to
the tune Of mile day /; traverse the
valley Of the Cedar; wander in the val.
ley Of the Des Moines. You cannot
blunder; but alas, you cannot live in
them all.
The locomotive and its maker have q
brace of wants in common--wood and
water-and both are found in Iowa.
Travelled twice across the State, four
hundred miles Of the journey by differ
ent routes, and, excepting the inland
sea Of prairie already Described i found
no want of fuel, and, excepting nothing
no lack of water. Live brooks run
saucily across the wagon-road all along
the way larger streams looking for
great rivers vein the landscape. AS to
wood, while taking the State through,
one-tenth of the area is timber, ii Is not
all OF the sterling quality of the old,
hard hearted forests Of the East, nor
yet very evenly difi'ised. Sometimes
it moves in single file, if / may say SO
along the streams, and sometimes be-
Titles itself to something like strag
Cling whisker, and then again lifts and
broadens into great belts of sturdy
woods. But what would you have p
You cannot walk in the shade and NOW
meadow too. Oak, hickory, walnut
nnsgle, and elm, SUCH a. you see IN
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1866-11-09
"a. G. EfEEg5IsWAY,

4 Tv0RNEY aND CoUTsEhLGR AT
"A g,Ays and NaEAstS PUBLIC. tE-
OAR FALLS. TOWN. VIII practice IN the coafts Of
Black liawk. buchanan, nremer, Butler, and Grunfy
Uoanrs ami attnd promptly t. ali business connect
ed with hi. profession. Clce southwest cgr;cr over
mans Block O.. ... iSf
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1866-11-09
Mother Goose MOdernizcd.

There was man fIom Tennessee
Considered 9ondrous wise,
He jumped into Union bush
And scratched out all his rs.
n And when he saw his is were out.
with all his might and main
He jumped into a Rebel bush,
And scratched them In again.
Fa. Fe, II, fo. Fun!
smell the blood of loyal man,
BE lac live or be he dead.
III scrnpc The butter from his bread.
Hush-a-by B.echer, on Plymouth ItAh.
%aoil the votes come you'll get n bad shock
when Andy flils At the ballot this Fall
Down will come Policy. Bccchcr, and all.
a doctor was summoned to cottage
mt Harwood, in England, and found
boy in need of his services.
SHOW your tongue" said the doe
tor.
Tho boy stared like an owl.
my good boy, let me see your
tongue" repeated the doctor,
''ralk English, DOCTOR" said the
mother, and then turning to her son,
said:
'Hopen thy gobbler, and push Out
thy loIiker."
Tnis had the desired cdcct,
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1866-11-09
J.. IL. POW siaIS,

A yT0ENEE G GCOVNSEhEOR, GENER-
a AL COLLECTING AND WAR-CLAIM AGENT
Back pay Bounty aud all other claims relating thereto
attended to with tanty and despatch. Office in Mu
sFky's Block, Cedar Falls. Iowa.
Daily Mississippi clarion and standard. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1866-1866, 1866-08-04
Rixors of Austri ian discipline.

In 1874 I had terrible example Of
the military discipline of Austria
Owing to the state of wa, the frontier
was then guarded by Greats dined
every day with the Austrian officers at
the little village Orsowo. on the banks
of the Danube. One day 1 expressed
desire to see the place on the other
side of the Danube where Kossuth had
buried the crown of St. Stephen, OF
Hungary, when the army fed into
Turkey; the place had been discover
ed, the crown disinterred. bun l wanted
to see the singular tomb.
Col. p. promised to go with me the
next day on the other side Of the
bridge which separated rs from the
enemy That same evening as was
taking my walk / said to myself, sup
pose l go now. ] passed the body
guard, and proceeded to the bridge,
and had nearly reached the opposite
side when heard report, and at the
same time three or four bills whistled
by me. I stopped. Several Croats
rushed upon me, muttering something
/ did not understand, and led me to
my friend, the colonel. He looked at
me exasperated. Sir said he, Fwhat
were you doing on the bridge
Il went to visit the tomb
Enough! Without permit {
And the sentinel! did not arrest you
at the enterance of the bridge p
A sergeant answered in German
1--WE were dining with the body guard.
"Ah is this so! And all this time
spies could be going and coming
how many were you?
-Four men and myself" replied the
sergent. ..-.
you shall be shot"
The Colonel went to the window,
called the guard of the opposite tent,
and gave the man into custody.
The next day the men were shot, in
spite of my appeals to the Colonel on
my knees, for pardon for those unfor-
tunate men, of whose death / was the
unwilling cause.
The Colonel was infexible When
those five Croats, pierced by shots, had
fallen, the Colonel, who regretted the
loss of his soldiers, and seemed to for
get our friendly relations, said;
"And now, sir, leave the territory
in two hours, or / shall have you arrest
ed as spy"
But, Colonel
He looked at me, and with terrible
voice said, "Upon my honor, sir, /
swear i"
A quarter of an hour afterward 1 left
Orsowo. Five years after, l saw
the list of officers killed at
the Colonel 5 name.-Courrier
DIES Etats Unis.
Daily Mississippi clarion and standard. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1866-1866, 1866-08-04

.asn. - q
We find the pllowingir the New


Orleans papers of yesterday: The
State of Louisiana, First Julicial Dis
trict, Parish of Orleans, Fist District
Court of New Orleans, SIS. The Grand
Jurors of the State of louisiana duly
empannelled and sworn il the name
and by the authority of the said State,
upon their oath present:
That Rufus K. Howell, R. W. Ben
ME, Terrence Cook, R. King Cutler,
Jno. L. Davies, James Duane, -
Ennis, w r. Fish, G. II Flagg, Ed
mund!Flood, Ed Hart, bhn Hender-
son, Jr, W. H. Hire, Geo Howell, III.
Mas, - Norman, P. (. O'COnner,
Orr, Jno. Payne, --Pintado, o.
II. Poynot, Chas. Smite, Jno. A. Spell
icy, c. w. Stauffer, w. II. Waters and
Hamilton, togethel with divers
other evil disposed persons to the num-
Der of three or more of ihe jurors I'M
known, on the 30th daypf July, 1866,
did unlawfully, violently, riotously as
semble and gather Together to disturb
the peace of said State of Louisiana,
and the said Rufus K. Bwell, etc, etc,
etc, did there and then unlawfully
claiming themselves to be a Conven-
ton for the revision of the Constitu-
ton of Louisiana, thus unlawfully,
violently, and riotousl, intending and
attempting to take possession Of, to
subvert, overthrow ana usurp the Con
stitution, laws and government Of the
State of Louisiana. And the Grand
Juror0 upon their oath do say that the
said Rufus K. Howell, etc, etc, ETC.,
did then and there make and knowing
ly assist at the unlawful assembly
aforesaid, contrary to the form Of the
statute of Louisiana.
(Signed) ANDREW S. HERON.
Attorney Gen. Site of Louisiana.
Upon the presentation ofthe obove
bill of indictment, th judge ordered
writs of arrest 10 be'ssued for parties
therein named Ger. Hays proceeded
to execute the writs, found the city
under martial law, called upon Gener-
al Baird, who stayed proceedings and
Endorsed on the writs, "withhOld &C
ton until further orders" Gen. Baird,
however, reconsidered the matter and
informed Gen. Hays yesterday that he
could proceed to execute the orders
oil the Court.
On the Saturday preceding the riot,
Lieutenant Governor VOORHEES, and
Mayor Monroe called on Gen Baird.
and asked, "Should the Grand Jury
find a bill of indictment against mem
bers of the Convention if they con
vened would he allow the writs TO be
executed 2" He replied in the mega
tive.
Under this indictment, military re
striction having been withdrawn fol-
the execution of the writ, the follow
ing parties were arrested last even
ing: Judge R. K. Howell, o. Poy
not and G. H. Flags The two first
mentioned gave bonds as required
in the sum of $500 each. Juge Lacy
became the security o. Judge Howell
and Elmire Luscey for Mr.. PoynOt-
When we left the Sheriff Office. Mr.
Flagg was still in custody, no bail hav.
ing been offered for hin
Daily Mississippi clarion and standard. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1866-1866, 1866-08-04

Alexander H. Stephens has written
a letter dated July %, in which he says
he shall attend the Philadelphia Con
vention if his health permits. In this
letter he says: mo man can more cor
daily approve and indorse the objects
of that Convention than myself, and
yet from considerations of expectancy
I doubted the propriety of my taking
part in it. PERSONAL interests have no
influence With me whatever. Had l
been governed by personal feelings l
should have had nothing to do with
the late troubles further than entering
my protest against them, so that while
it should seem that my present efforts
are tending to result IN which have
more or less personal lnterest--that is
my admission as Senator in Con
gress-yet / assure you never expect
nor intend to hold that position long,
even if the seat should be awarded me. )"
Daily Mississippi clarion and standard. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1866-1866, 1866-08-04

The PHILADELPHIA CONVENTION TO
BE BROKEN UP BY RoUGHs.-The cor
respondent of the New York Com
mercial writes from Philadelphia
The Convention to be held here in
August under the direction of Messrs.
Doolittle and Company is regarded
with great disfavor here. The return
ing soldiers and fire companies freely
and openly declare that they intend to
break up the gathering, and move
ment looking to that end is now said
to be on foot. There are large num-
Der of invalid and convalescent sol
diers still about the hospitals here who
affiliate to a considerable extent with
the firemen, and assert that they can
prevent the holding of any such meet
ing, especially as public sentiment is
against it. Any violence, however,
will of course be summarily headed
off and punished. Extensive prepare
tions are being made to tender a warm
greeting and welcome to those attend
ing the Southern Union Convention
which meets in September.
Daily Mississippi clarion and standard. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1866-1866, 1866-08-04

IMPORTANT TO INTERNAL REVENUE
OFFICERS late Revenue law as
amended by Congress and which goes
into effect on the 1st Of August, 1866,
amongst other important changes, has
the following:
"SEcTroN IS. And be it further en-
acted, That all official communica-
tons made by assessors to collectors,
assessors to assessors, or by collec-
tors to collectors, or by collectors to
assessors, or by assessors TO assistant
assessors, or by assistant assessors to
assessors, or by collectors to their
deputies, or by deputy collectors to
collectors, may be officially franked
by the writers thereof, and shall, when
so franked, be transmitted by mail
free of postage"
Daily Mississippi clarion and standard. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1866-1866, 1866-08-04

The New York Herald, referring to
the Philadelphia Convention, sensibly
remarks that the call recognizes the
great issue between the President and
Congress, and invites all who support
the President and his policy of reunion
to take part in the Convention. 1t
says nothing abou the Woods, Of
Vallandingham,or Belmont,or Marble,
or any other obnoxious individual. 1t
lays down broad, solid platform, up
on which all may stand without crowd
ing each other off. The WI is over
now: old things have passed away:
everything to begin de mqu0eaat' 1t
makes no difference what a. mans po-
sition was as to other issues, now
dad and buried; the only vital cues
ton il as to his position in regard to
this great new issue between the Presi-
dent and Congress. .
Daily Mississippi clarion and standard. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1866-1866, 1866-08-04
Substantial Admiration

We take the liberty of making the
following extract from the private let
ter of 4 radical Anti Radical friend,
whose admiration, for a letter recently
published-in this paper is so intense
that he proposes giving the author
thereof bale of cotton from his new
crop: we hopeto -obtsin the neces.-
sary permission to reveal to him pri-
vatelv the authors name, for we know
that he would esteem it a great privi-
lege to carry out his threat in the very
best faith:
although your views and mine are
very far apart, / miss the Clarion and
Standard very much if it does not
make its regular visit, which it has not
done for some time past. But my
principal object in writing youis to ask
the name (if you are at liberty to give
it,, of the author of the private letter
to yourself, aud which you published
dated July 20, and advising against
the South responding to the call OF
the Philadelphia Convention. Now /
so seldom see sentiments so exactly
my own in newspapers NOW days
that when ! do / am rejoiced. must
know who the man is who thinks as
that letter indicates about the humilia-
ting anxiety we have shown since the
surrender to get back into the Union.
If YOU cannot publish your friend
name, write me who it isl want to
know the man. | want to give him
bale of cotton from my new crop; and
have a great mind to order your daily
issue because YOU even had liberality
enough to publish such a letter. II
you do so many more times you may
look out for the cash for your daily.
That is certainly q great induce
ment to be ''liberal," but our friend
ought to have known before, that al
thoughl we have views of our own,
which are freely expressed, our col
ums have ever been open for fair and
impartial discussion Of all questions
affecting the public welfare; and we
promise him that the communication
which he sent another journal, and
which does not appear as he expected,
if sent us, it shall have an early and
conspicuous ventilation.