The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1866-04-21


'Thank you, sir. II should happen TO turn
into rooster again, / shall know where to CO."
81 shall be most happy toto wiring your
neck Tor you, sir on any such interesting ocoa
sion.n
VERY kind, I'm sure. II you should ever
get into trouble, John Lundy will stand your
friend.n
"Do you promise me that, sirp
81 do; aud never break my word.n .
After that Minnie walked in the garden
sometimes; and Minnie was not alone-not she.
II love vlolets best" said the doctor to her
one day.
"And roses" SO Minnie, being the least bit
sentimental, quoted Pope on roses-something
about dew. And the doctor went on Shake
speare, very bad, indeed, till somehow, in some
way-he never could tell how nor in what
way--netther could she-he said it.
See dictionary for cit"
''Indeed, / must not listen to this,n murmured
Minnie, dying to hear ii again. my father, if
he knew
Would dlsapprove, perhaps y cried the young
doctor "And why2 Because am poor. And
"No, no; I-I-you know I-love you-but-"
"Hark Who calls?"
Enter Tommy.
"oh, sis, pas took again, and he's going it
what is it now, dearY' asked Minnie, with
the face OF an angel; but perhaps she wasn't a
little cross at the interruption.
"Oh, he's a sofa, and ma says please somebody
come and smash him all to bits.n
what shall we doW sighed Minnie; 'that is
the most ridiculous freBk of ALL"
Don't be frightened, my love" said the Doc
tor. Tommy, run right home and tell YOUR
mother will be there in a few minntes. Now,
Minnie, there is but one way know of to cure
your father, at once. and for all, and that is by
giving him shock"
"What! Of electricity"
mo, dear-iar more powerful than that
You must 90 TO the little brown house over
there, and be married"
nv loft thar nnldl bill mn
"Does he ever break his word ?"
81 never knew him to-"
"All right. He promised me that, If /
should ever get into trouble he would help me
out"
''Dd he, really? Then he will.
But 1t is necessary that we give him the
shock first. Delay not, my darling; you shall
lever regret it,"
OF course she went.
Gan / ask is that nobody'll sit on me, tor I'm
cracked. Besides, I'm Just Vanished, and not
quite dry yet, Do, my dear, stand at the door,
and tell people as they come in that cannot be
sat on or in any way meddled with, Pm SO
fimsily fastened together"
This was the speech that greeted DR.. Stag as
he entered Mr.. Lundys parlor with Minnie.
Mrs. L. Was in tears.
doctor, as soon as ever l get home I'll have
that ridiculous man carried directly to the hos
pital-indeed l WILL" cried the poor woman.
i've borne it long enough, and Pm completely
worn out"
$50 am l, my dear" piped up her husband;
II expect I'm second-hand; shouldn't wonder
in the least, my legs feel so shaky. Pray, don't
touch me. Isn't one roller gone my dear ?"
"Roller gone? your wits are gone | wish
was man. I'd varnish you in such way that
you'd never want to be a sofa again, or any
piece OF furniture"
The doctor stood near, gravely considering.
MY dear, you are better as you are for see
in the last five minutes you have come out a
beautiful washbowl and pitcher. But isn't your
nose a little cracked. or do / see awry?
shouldn't wonder, for my head is full OF brass
tacks. think I've snutied them up my nose.
It's worse than influenza"
WAS ever poor creature SO afflicted /" MUIR
INJURED Mrs. Sofa-I mean Mrs Lundy.
"Never, my love. protest that ii l could be
anything else would-but sofa | am, and a
poor one at that"
and planted himself upon the prostrate body of
Mr.. Lundy.
Capital sofa this" he said, keeping his posi-
ton in spite OF his victims struggles.
Get up-I'm cracking in six places Good
heavens you'll ruin me-you'll break my back
Get up till Pm properly mended, for PHYS
sake"
"Upcn my word" said the doctor calmly,
this piece of furniture acts If it alive. II
kicks and wriggles and makes me laugh at its
antics. What ridiculous sofa!"
~ tell you Pm secondhand !" cried the hypo.
cLondriac more family than before, for l3O
pounds dead weight was no light miiction.
'I'm bTass-tacked-o -old-very old-tull of cracks
one roller gone. 0! pray don't lean your
weight on me-"
The doctor lifted himself cautiously. The sofa
gave one deep inspiration.
The doctor looked serious.
"Are you sure yeu are sofaW
"Of course am.n
''Then you are no longer Mr.. Lundy?"
II am no longer Mr.. Lundy"
Can you keep secretF'
Certainly CAM
"Do you know old Lundys daughter
| ~ guess do"
I'Won't you let on to the old fellow if tell
| you something's"
| Not If you say no."
| well, Pve Just married her. She's my wife,
OFF went the sofa like gun,
"Whatl You villain ~
| 'Take care-you'll breakm cried the doctor.
| "You young rascaln
| "You old sofam
| you desperate Young thiet!'
| "You rickety old sofa, with your head full o
brass tacks. tell you," cried the doctor 'ff yol
| had not been O feather, and o rooster, and
| sofa, and the cats know what, you'd looked ate
| your daughter better than you have. But come
| let's be friends, and thank me for curing you
You'll never be hypochondriac again-rl TAX
| good care OF that-tor you see it's nice thint
to have medical adviser in the family Besides
you promised me once that If was in troubl
you'd help me through. Come, come, let's b
quits.n
81 see / can't help myself" said the old man
gravely; "but I tell you what shall conside
you thlet until you are able to support you
wife in the style she Is accustomed to-"
"And l, SIR, shall consider you sofa until 20
revoke that decision"
1t is needless to add that was the last of tn
trouble.