Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-11-29

n law that whenever a man IN the South cook
ed a billed dinner on Sunday, he should be hung
before dinner, and his billed dinner sent North.
Mrs. Pinchoeck hoped the war would 60 on
until there was no more end of nothing. For
her part. it was all stuff about people suffering
during the war. Her Josiah bad a contract
and made two hundred thousand dollars the
first year; and her brother, Reverend Peaknose
Hanter. came back from tie war, where he had
periled his precious life eating preserves 50
thew would not hurt sick ,ldiers he brought
home more than fifty gold watches, and the
incest gold-caSp Bible, which was now used
every Sunday in one of the Buttonville church
es.
Mrs. Squeak said the people Of the South
were nothing but murderers. for when her bro
ther. Colonel Fibre Hunter, was out in field,
doin' nothin,' KILN nobody, doin' nothin' but
Just seein' how much cotton an army team could
draw, so he could tell if it was a good team,
some cowardly gorilla shot hole clean thro
him. and wouldn't even send his clothes home
for Jedediah to wear out And she hoped If
another war ever did come, some of them sim
full men of the West would 90 down and do it
to 'em agin, not that she cared so much for her
brother. but she wanted them air clothes for
her Jedediah.
Mrs. Cockeye said she hoped there would be
a hull passel of wars, for her cousin, her dear,
good cousin, Benjamin (the Beast,) had made
lots of money in the late war, and had supplied
nearly all her relatives with spoons, watches,
silver ware, &C., and said it was right the war
should 90 on, for her cousin was safer in the war
than afore court of justice even, and said 1t
was Christian duty TO let all Christian wars
be continnered so long as there was anybody
to continner EN-
Mrs Sniveller here spoke again:
"Well ] don't care 10 how. The South
should be fought. What right had they to
have cotton picked by niggers without asking
our consent? And they were rich. And they
had nice things. And we believe niger ba-
by is of more account than white pauper in
the North. And my husband, Deacon Sniv-
eller, wants more bones to make buttons Of
he'll sell the buttons to the South and West,
and they will have to ask us New England
Christians for the privilege OF wearing out their
own bones"
BY this time tea was ready. We had good
tea. Such curious silver-ware; old style, pure
silver, didn't taste brassy bit; and all of us
ladies tasted all the silver dishes TO see And
such lot of spoons Each one of us had at
our plates spoon with our initials on. Mrs.
Sniveller had barre! of silver spoons, and
hunted them over till she found our regular ini-
tials in regular order Oh! it was so nice :
And we piled all the shirts up in chair, and
put bible rescued from the wicked South on
the top of the pile, and then Rev. Mr.. Slammer
came in and made prayer, while Mrs. Dayw-
Ter, on nice rosewood piano, played that pa
triotic piece of music:
John Browns body lies mouldering in the grave
John Browns body lies mouldering in the grave
John Browns body lies Wondering in the grave
Glory! glory Halelujah
After which, the Buttonvile B. b. Society
of Buttonvie, Commonwealth Of Massachu-
satts, adjourned till next Thursday, when am
going again, if they don't find out that SallyS.
Quiggles is that horrid
"BRIcK" PoMERoY.