The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-04-13
SPARE LINES.

DR.. Chaplin says there is class Of men too
shallow to have conscience and too cold to
have heart.
II you want to get favor from a man, feed
him. A man, like horse, can't be managed
until he has bit in his mouth.
Why Is the assessor Of taxes tho best man in
the world? Because he never undertakes any.
body.
Mrs. Partington says the President has join.
ed the spiritulsts, and is now double-back
action medium.
There isan energy Of moral suasion in q
good mans life, passing the highest efforts Of
the orators genius.
Dido fell in love with Eueas, but he gave
her the cut direct. And he has imitators.-
Men have been cutting didoes ever since.
Heaven drops little fragments OF itself here
and there along our way, by way OF assurance
that heaven and love are one.
You best preserve your dignity by avoiding
explanations. The character that cannot do.
fend itself is not worth defending.
Milton was asked: "Iow is it that in some
countries king is allowed to take his place on
the throne at fourteen years OF age, but may
not marry until he is eighteen2" "Because,"
said the poet, "it is easier to govern kingdom
than woman"
One very cold night d. was reused from his
slumbers by very loud knocking at his door.
After some hesitation he rose and went to the
window, and asked :-"Who's there" "a
friend" "What do you want?" al want to
stay here all night" "Stay there, then," was
tho benevolent reply.
"How long did Adam remain in Paradise be.
fore no sinued?" said an amiable spouse to her
husband. "'fill he got wife," was the calm
reply.
A Western editor wishes to know whether
tho law recently enacted against the carrying
of deadly weapons applies to doctors who car
ry pills in their pockets.
"My boy, might enquire where Merritt &
Pritz's drug store is?" Urchin (very respect.
fully)-"Certainly, SIR" Old gent, after wait.
Ing awhilc-"Well sir, where is it? Urchin
Haven't the cast idea, your honor"
The dove was tho first newspaper carrier,
when one morning it went out and fetched
Leaf for Noah. It contained u paragraph on
the weather, notifying him that the heavy rain
storm had subsided.
The publisher Of newspaper out West, in
tho first issue Of his journal, returns thanks to
those who loaned him the pecunary means,
ard to Heaven that there is no law in the State
enforcing imprisonment for debt.
Why are twice eleven like twico ten? Be.
cause twice eleven are twenty-five and twice
ten are twenty foo.
A dandy inquired at fruit stand, care
these peaches ft for dog to eat?" "Try
them and sec" said the apple woman.
Mrs. Partington says JET. Davis was n fool
for dressing in woman's clothes. for he might
know the men would run after him then.
At what hour did the devil make his appear
ancc In the Garden Of Eden? Some time dur.
ing the night. He certainly came after Eve.
A smart fellow in Worcester has discovered
Il plan of making two hodfuls of coal 20 as far
as four. lie doubles the size of his hod. The
invention is not patented.
Let tho inmate Of family be too sick to
come to the table, an anxiety is felt for him
hut let him for years not come to the commun.
ION tlDle anu no CONCERN - eSpresscu. liet
his spirit desert his body, and the family put
on mourning; but let him bc as dead to divine
things as il his spirit was deserted by the Holy
Spirit, and there is no lamentation.
One OF the principal rules of religion is, to
loose no occasion of serving God. And since
he il invisible to our eyes, we are to serve him
in our ncighbor which he receives as il done
to himself in person, standing visible before US.
Tell. +. Graf informs us that gentleman
made the Astounding discovery the other day,
while mailing several packages, that the U. 5.
mail was a ite mail. He paid his addresses
accordingly.