The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1866-02-15
Josh Billings Notes.
on SKATING.

Havin herd much sed about skating parks
and the CRATE amount ov lIelth an 4 muscle
they was inlparting tew the present genera
shun at a site advanse on fust cost,i bought
ticket and went Within the fcnse ~ q alF4-
found tie ice III slippery condishun,
covering about akers of artqfisilai water,
which waz owned bi stock company, and
troze tew order, ..,
Upon WIN side ny tie pond was erected
little grosery buildings where the women
sot on benchis while the felers (kivered
" it'll bushes) hitched the magic iron tew
their feet
Ii waz most existing seue: the sun waz
In the sili--and the wind waz in the air
and the thirds ware in the southland the
snow waz on the ground--and the ice Law
shiverug Nth a bad kold-and the angels
(ov both genders) fuctuated past me pro
and con, and fro; here a little aud thare a
good deal. ....,
1t waz a most exsiting scene; wanted tn
holIer 'oully." or lay down and roll over.
But kept in and aked with glory.
ilelth wsz pictured on NANNY IA nobel
Az the temal angels put oct Oh the
pond, side 10y side with male angels, it waz
the most pow ertull scene i ever stood be
hind
he Ion : red tape from their necks swum
in the breeze, and the feathers In their jock
eS $ tiutlered i'll the breeze, and other things
Qew much tew menshunl duttcred in the
breeze. 4 5s ~ ....
| don't think ever waz more crazee be-
fore in my life on ice
For 2 long hours stood and gazed with
dunn excitement. ....... Xxx
felt like kssnall boss turned suddenly
out teW grass.
didn't know how to proceed
Az one OF the angels more sudden tlan
awi the rest cum flying down The trak, 3
lengths ahead Of her male angel, awl eyes
ware gorging with her heavenly bust of
speed; she Seemed to have cnt luce from
earth, and waz bound south. for the Cape of
Good Hope, when. awi tew onst, with a
Gorgeous swoop terriffick, down crumbling
into linlped heap she went with saueal
ttrrifhck, IA living lovely mass of dissastrus
skirt and taperiug ankle.
Awl gathered round the bursted angel !:
but 10 in minnitt's space, her wings
agin was plum-d, and evry feather was in
its iawfu! phase; and on she fed. laffing Ike
wine thru its hdteOus bushes
| had saw euutf-more happiness than
belonged tcw me-and az sloIy wended
back to mi hum at the tavuru felt good
ON AMERIKANs
Americans like caustic things: thew
would prefer turpintine tew cologne water.
if tew drink either
So with the relish of humor; they must
have it ON the haff-shel with kayenne.
/ An Englishmau wants hiz fun smothered
deep in mint Sauce and lie IL wiIIing tew
wait till next day before he tastes it
If yu tickle or convince an American. w
hav got to dew it quick i-
An American luvs to laff. but he don't
luv few make a bizzuess ov it; he works
eats, aud haw haws on canter
guess the English hav more wit. and
the Americans more humor
We havn't had time yet tew bile down
our humor aud git the wit out ov it.
The English are better puilsters but
consider punning sort of literary prosti-
tushuu in which future happiness il swop-
ped oph for the pIezzure ov the moment.
Thare is one thiag i have noticed every
boldly tnat " rites expests tew he wize on
witty 80 dnz everybody ok pect tew be
saved ~hen they div: but tis,e is good rea
san to belisNe that the goats hereafter will
be in the majority, just as the sheep arr
/ here
Deut forgit one thing: yu hay got tew
be VIE before you kan he witty; aud don I
forget t'0o things: a single paragraf ha;
made sum men Immortal, while a volnm,
haz been worse than pile driver tew 9th
ers-hut what would Amerikans dew iii
ant for their seosashuns P -
SumthIng new. summing startling liz ne
cesslry for US az a people. and 1t dom
make nntch matter what it ia huge de
falcashun--a red elephant--or Jersee clam
with pearls III them viii answer if nothin.
better offers. 60 .s4ezasa t...,.s.f ~