American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1866-07-25

his going out" Buy, buy"
The rain continues to fall; while all
around the diamond old horns and babies
squall. sg' .aR aH'
"A true picture of despair is pig
reaching through a hole in the fence to
get cabbage that lies few inches be-
yond his reach.
The following is an Irishman's des-
cription of making a cannon "Take a
long hole and pour brass or iron all around
it," g..,.
An Irishman, giving his testimony
in one of our courts, few days since, in
a riot scase, said, Be jabers, the first
man saw coming at me, when got up,
was two brick bats"
"A Landlady, who had some very weak
chicken broth for dinner, the other day,
was asked by wag of boarder if she
couldn't coax that chicken to wade thro'
that soup once more.
A Scotchman asked an Irishman,
"Why were half-farthings coined in Eng
land ?" Pats answer was, "To give
Scotchmen an opportunity of subscribing
to charitable institutions"
A punster says: My name is Som
erset | am miserable bachelor. | can
not marry; for how could | hope to pre-
vail on a young lady, possessed of the
slightest notion of delicacy, to turn a
Somerset"
"A country girl recently asked city
acquaintance to go with her to purchase
some articles, and to act as spokes- woman.
They entered shop and the city girl
asked-"haye you any hose 7" 81 don't
want hoes" said che country maiden, |
want stockings"
The following recipe, for destroying
bed-bugs and mosquitoes, is copied from
Glenns diary Buy nineteen barrels
of molasses or tar and spread it all over
the wall and beds; then get up about
one o'clock and get your maui come up
and give each one hundred pound crack
over the left ear.
Said Quilp to a young "swell," !"
pluming himself on receiving an invita-
tion from lady to accompany her to
Professor Blot's cookery lecture; 81 pre-
sumed without doubt you would receive
such an invitation from some one. -
"Ah?" rejoined the exquisite, inquir.
ingly. g Yes, when | read that each la
dy was requested to bring with her a pen
Gil, paper, and a spoon" f" Yes p still
inquiringy. rThat's all" replied Quilp,
as he left the bewildsrcd young man.
An Irishman having accidentally
broken pane of glass in window was
making the best OF his way to get out OF
sight as well as mind; but, unfortunately
for Pat, the proprietor stole march on
him, and having seized him by the pol-
lar, exclaimed: aE
You broke my window, fellow, did
you not?"
"To be sure l did," said Pat; "and
didn't you see me running home for mon
ey to pay for it ?"
ANEcDoTE OF DR. EMMoNs.-A Pan.
theist minister met him one day and alb
ruptly asked:
Mr.. Emmons, how old are you2
Sixty, sir; and how old are you ?"
.. As old as the creation," ras the an
swer in triumphant tone.
HThen you are the same age with Adam
and Eve p
Certainly, ! was IN the garden wher
they were."
g / have always heard that there was a
third person in the garden with them,
replied the doctor with great coolness
ebut Inever knew before that it was you.'
The following says the Sunny South
is an inscription in the cemetry at Scooba
tho rottin
not forgotten
But it hardly comes up to another in
village church-yard in Georgia !.
opin yer les
for here lies
all that ken rot
rite where she got
when she wos happy
ea7i Our Liza Jane
Z. aaa kalled home again
to iine her papy