The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1866-11-05
WIT AND SENTIMENT.

There ia only one thing worse than
ignorance, and that IN oonceit Of
intrnctable fools, an eVofwise man is
the worst. You may cause idiots TO
philosophize-you may coax doakeys
to forego thistles; but don't think Of
ever driving common sense into the
head of conceited person. aad \
"IHas the cOokery.book any pic
lures" asked Miss C Of a book
seller. No, Miss, nome" was the
answer. Why" exclaimed the young
lady, what il the use Of telling us
how to make good dinner If they
give US no plates2" Fl Mg{ sft
/ The following is averbatim report
of a speech delivered at q religious
meeting Down East by-a good, pious
deacon. Ii is a queer combination of
terms. certainly; /" My female breth-
| rem, it is OF the most in-fin-itest inn
portance that we should all be clothed
in white remnants Da
A man without money Ii poor, but
man with nothing but money is
| poorer. l9 NvffH0 H .y
Newark, N. j., Ia called I" the city
that has a hundred thousand inhahi-
tants and no hotel."naI ~ Y g,1f
The total earnings of railways in
the United Kingdom amount to over
300, 600, 900 annually, "a, ~
llArtemus Ward, Nasty aud Josh
Billings have very bad spells of hui
NOR.
SUDDENLY RIcH,-7One day last
week q hard working young man in
Newburyport, Mass, received a letter
from New York, announcing the death
Of an aunt who left large estate,
half million of which viii come to
him. He.appears TO be very sensi-
BILE, as he is anindustrious and tenn
perate man, aud on receiving the in
telligence, completed his days work
as though nothing had happened, and
after having been to New York, to
confirm the facts in the case, has re-
burned to his daily labora, which he
will continue till the administration
of the estate is completed. 9
On young child being told that he
must besbroken of bad habit, he re-
piled: /" Papa, had better be mended,
hadn't I7N I.I 't n'.al
What is the difference between the
| Pope's barber and an insane circus
rider2 One il o shaving Roman, and
the other is o raving Snowman,
at wish you would pay little at
tention, sir" said a stage director 10 a
careless actor.
! "Well, am paying az little as /
can" was the calm reply.
j. A Greek lawyer recently moved the
Supreme Court at Athens for the re-
versal OF the sentence against Soc
crates. FAR 8ifffiaftl aIFtgH~
A gentleman had conferred favor
on friend, an undertaken. Says the
Ilatter;" Brown, am under great OBJ
legations TO you, and allow me TO say
that your kindness is keenly appre-
ciated, and hope | may be able to do
you q good turn some day or other. If
evor you want d coffin, call on me. /
should be happy to bury you. or any
of your family, at, short notice, at
greatly reduced rates. " His friend
| retired, satisfied that the undertaken
had AN eye to business, and was not
hacking in gratitude, 80 salnoo
Pray" inquired one. minister Of
another, seeing so many ladies attend
his church, why do you invariably
address your congregation rs dear
brethren n" 80 tHda1q1 ~ ssfo q
i Il" Oh, the answer is easily given, he
replied; "the brethren embrace the
sisters,
| A notorious miser, having heard
very eloquent charity sermon, ex-
claimed:
f''This sermon certainly proves the
necessity of aims. ! have almost
mind to turn beggar.
/ A gentleman, dining at hotel, was
annoyed by stupid waiter continu-
ally coming lowering round the table,
and desired him to retire. a
Excuse me, Sir, said Napkin,
drawing himself up, but l am. re-
sponsible for the spoons.
We often hear of man being I'm
advance Of his age, but who ever
heard of a woman being in the same
predicamentp 'N
/ A ,>o..o.. iI:,, ~ 49, Jax, ov, !. ,o,