The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1866-02-08
MlistelIaneors 8eaSing.
Condition Of Uncle sam---For the
Information of His Nephews
and Mieces!
epity the sorrows of q poor old man."


There is nothing more calculated to en-;
list the sympathies of the generous and
tsnderhearted than the terrible mental
anxiety Of a poor old gray haired invalid
nncle, who, lying ON a bed of sickness,
with his frame racked with torture, and
his constitution shattered by q dire dis
ease; has, in addition to allthis, the most
terrible mental forebodings, arising from
{ the dissensions of his nephews and nieces,
who even disturb the holy sanctity of the
sick mans chamber by their continued
wrangling and quarrcling.
The poor old gentleman is nearly rela-
ted to us all. His name. is Uncle Sam
ueI-sometimes affectienately, not dis
respectfully, abbreviated into Uncle Sam.
Uncle Sam has always been good old
fellow, clever old chap as ever lived.
When we got into that little difficulty,
;nincty years ago, with old mother Eng ng
land-when We ran out of her house and,
leaving the parental roof, went forth on
the wide, wide world, bakers dozen of
2oor unprotected orphans-then it was
that good old Uncle Samuel, with tcars
in his eyes, and in the fnllness of his big
heart, camc forward to take US in his ca
yiricious embrace: to adopt us at his own
children and be akind guardian and faith
er to. US forever and forever.
Nov let us make an investigation as to
the present condition of our poor sick
Uncle, what led to it, what remedies are
propssed; and what is best to be dene for
the old gentleman. When Uncle Sam
first took the thirteen orphans under his
charge, he Immediately went to house
keeping in moderately sized house but,
as time grew on apace, the old gentleman
adopted other clGldren, till the family be-
clpe so numerous thatit was necessary
to hire much larger residence at: an
enormous rent The family, however,
had grownstoo large to occupy the same
ha6se-the children could not get along
peaccably together, and soon began to
wrangie and quarrel. The principal bone
sofseontention was, that some Of the chill
dren had number Of little black toys in
the shape Of men and women; they had
bought and paid for these toys; in fact,
many of them had been stolen by one
portion of the children and sold to the
other, and after the sale those who had
sold them and received pay, wanted to
take them away from the others and
smash them to pieces. From this and
other causes a dreadful quarrel arose, till
one party plainly showed thai it wished
TO keep the other entirely under its
thumb. This state of affairs continued
for some time, till at last the larger party
hired a new. housekeeper called Uncle
Abe. who, although good-hearted, funny
old gentleman, sided SO plainly with his
friends who had engaged him, that the
smaller party determined to quit the big
house and rent q smaller one in place
called Dixie's Land, taking with them the
little black toys, building upSa new nur
sery, and going to Housekeeping on thoil
own hook.
This party called themselves Dixieitcs
the larger party called themselves Yam
,keeites. Uncle Sam objected to the
breaking up of the big establishment, ant
row commenced, which was regular
,knock-down-and-drag-out fight. Every
body pitched in, even some of the blacl
toys we're wound mp, and, taking part
soon became again wounded. The fgh
was an unequal one-a large crowd o
big boys, of course, eventually succeeded
in overcoming small crowd of small
boys. The fight, however, lasted long
while, and the little fellows kept it up a
long as it was possible for them to holt
out. Meanwhile, Uncle Abe en1ptied al
of the boxes of black toy men and women
and the droll little creatures began to rul
about, at largo, like the little toy mice
which are wound up clock fashion. Nov
the Dixieities really and honestly hav
an affection for these little toys
which are associated with the most pleas
ant "reminiscences of their earliest child
hood, and it grieves them to see then
rudely handled by those who do not car