Daily union and American. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1865-1866, 1866-05-23
atninn and Smtritan.
A POLITICAL GENERALS SOIu.
OQUY.


From the La Crosse Wisconsin, Democrat
Whi-r-r-rl
How like rocket | went ur, terrifying
the innocent
Sp1H
How like n stick falling in the mud did
] come down,
When the rebellion began, ] did not
amount to to enough 10 add up and give one
10 carry. | was a sort of second-rate loafer.
begging tobacco, standing around saloons
and bar-rooms, waiting 20 be treated by lib
eral strangers. ! had no clean stockings
no neat hOme-no money sayed-no credit
no fine food, and but little coarse. "But
suddenly star arose" Brave men were
wanted-I had peddled whisky at the polls
10 elect men on the God-and-mOrality, re-
nd-reform-ticket-l could tell a
bigger lie and stick 10 it closer than any
hungry politician in the country, and the
late administratiOn-noble administration
gave me rich reward. ! was made captain,
and like a blue-tailed bottle-hy | strutted
about my native town.
Guess | wasn't old style, in white gloves
and stripes up my legs. Guess ! didn't sup
port the Government Reckon ] didn't get
trusted TO little things at stores, and when a
man wouldn't trust me, guess ] wouldn't in.
cite mobs ON such Copperheads. And ] was
put in command Of hundred men. Egad!
that was joke. Why, Lord bless you, |
didn't know as much about war as a dog
knows of his great grandlather-but / had
political influence-could absorb vast guam
titles Of whisky. and could steal. Or like
John Brown. Or like Butler. Or like any
other house robber.
And / went to war. And / hired CORE
spondents 10 mention my brave exploits in
Republican papers. And stole wines from
hospitals, and treated my friends. And
read the army letters which hired written
and which poor fools printed to POLITICAL
friends And | kept out Of the way Of bull
lets and such-and / stole piles of household
goods, from rat-traps TO pianos, from silk
elastic 10 linen intended for infants yet I'M
born, and so in the eyes of the late admins
tration proved my fitness for higher position.
And / was made Brigadier-General. Big
thing. Nearly every fool in the army was
Brigadier-G General. While brave men fought
1 stole spoons and such While other men
were at war, ! was furnishing Democrats,
issuing petty orders, taking toll" from
Union farmers, and sending canes, chairs, ia
bles, beds and bedding, pictures, books,
spoons, knives and forks, nut-crackers glass
and silverware, mirrors, sideboards, parlOr
ornaments, laces, silks and ladies' under
clothes stolen from private drawers trunks
aud bureaus, up north at Government ex
pense, 10 let people know that | was saving
my salary 10 beautify my home.
Cunning cuss
And / denounced Democrats, thereby win
ming promotion and good opinions from Re
publican papers. And ] spent my salary
for whisky, except what went ior-nothing
now, not much at first And went on raids
capturing imaginary bands Of enemies, re-
ported by the papers as real. And being an
INSCRIPTIONS knave, intent only on money,
/ was hired by the administration of the
late lamented 10 60 up and down the country
for and in behalf of negroes-and Abolition
ists-pdr mobile frdtr7tmi
And | sent Democrats 10 the front and
thew were shot down like dogs, or dragged
back wounded TO die in hospitals, or swear
allegiance to Abraham And | stuffed cleo
ton returns-and stole cotton wherever it
could be found; mules ditto; Government
stores ditto, and other things ditto, till be-
came rich. And what a lot Of men who be-
lieved we were fighting to subdue the rebel
lion. That was good Joke. Twas merely
pleasant little murderous crusade for cot
ton and negroes-the cotton for the rich,
the negroes for the poor taxpayers to sup
port
The war was God send TO me. 1t took
me from the gutter, or a stool in some saloon,
and made great man Of me. 1t lifted me
by the Wristbands right up alongside of
Wellington, Napoleon, Alexander, Wash
ington, Jackson, Grant, Sherman and other
great men. And didn't strut? And didHi
| fall back on my dignity And didn't /
snub those whose servant ] was-and win
the contempt Of every sensible man IN the
land? And didn't negro wenche5 fall in love
with me? And didn't / keep abandoned
women nj headquarters, on money ! stole
from my bleeding country? To he sure did.
That was the acme of LOYALTY" That was
known as Lincoln patriotism. That style
was the style that paid That style made
me popular with Abolitionists at home.
And didn't drive Southern roosters from
watching the nest? And didn't go into that
business for them2 And didn't ] 90 into the
patent bleaching business on Joint account,
half for myself and half for the Government
There were some good men in the army
some fine oihcers-some gentlemanly patrl
otto officers, but they were in hare luck, and
took lower seats. And didn't get promoted
for being caught out nights roaming over
the CONTEMPLATING on some negro or
white mans domain, in behalf of my govern
ment.
And wasn't | sorry when we had stolen
the South poor, and were obliged TO close
the war? The occupation of Othello was
gone. | returned home. People did not
make speeches and welcome me back as they
did when left. strutted around with my
blue-;ailed plumage till il looked slumpy,
and people began 10 take in clothes from the
lines in my neighborhood when it became
known that was political General, whose
best hold was stealing and indorsing Adolf
tionism. No one cares for me now. A good
hunting dog is more petted. A buck negro |
is of more account in the ewes of Congress
and the people. People whisper strange |
things about that Stoncwail Jackson song of |
Whose pin here?" etc. am not half SO |
popular rs was when in the army. In fact, |
l believe | am about played out. Why can't |
we have another war? Lots Of fellows have |
come ont of State prisons since the war en-
ded; and there is plenty ofmaterial for more |
of these POLITICAL army officers, who could |
draw beer better than blood. Never mind: |
I'll put the money | stole in Government |
bonds-therc is no taxes TO pay ON them: I'll |
sit around and draw my interest ON them,
live in idleness and be supported by the poor |
fools who have bonds, but who pay taxes
while do not, and who pay me for being a
thief and living in idleness You see | am
one of the supporters of this Government. l
can put my money in bonds-somebody pays
the taxes Of this country, and pays me inter
est, bm Il as NOT US boRd-hoiderS. oh, dear!
Suppose the people should repudiate these
bonds, as they surely rN if they are not
taxed-tchdt WH become Of mc' I'll have
10 work the same as other men, or go to the
poor-house with liberated negroes for tar
paying lrhite men 10 support.