The Portland daily press., 1866-01-31
From the Nev Yor: Mea.ca, Re,iesr.J
McArone on Rheumatism.


81 There are no roses in the wilderness of vines
that enclose the piazza OF the country home
where I write, but an easteriy wind, of
much asperity and vrulence, is much at home
there, and whistling like first boatswain
whose mother was calliope.
En- ily enough this easteriy wind brings me
to the rheumatism.
It also brings the rheumatism to me.
Did you ever have reG-haired man throw
milestone on your hand, and then bore into
your elbow with centre-bit.
This is the same sensation of the inflamato-
ry rheumatism, as performed by me for sever
al consecutive days and nights.
had some very fine eccentric and humor-
Gus ideas during this period but when fel-
lows right thumb is swollen to the resemblance
OF Hamburg sausage, and his fore-tinger has
wire run through the bones lengthwise he
is not in good condition to write down even
the most brilliant mental scintilations.
Neither is he expert with those frail, unas-
Stunning, but potent instruments, the knife and
fork. go
Buttons, also at such times, present for
midable resistance, and the razor becomes
vain impotent toy.
The only thing, in fact that runs the easier,
and slides the more vigorously tor the rheLma-
tim, is profanity.
There is peculiar twist to the elbow, coup
led with simultaneous twinges in the hip and
knee, that produce great huency in that partic-
ular.
The remedies that ones friends suggest are
by no means the least troub .e5oms portion OF
the complaint.
One suggests common horse chestnut, or
buckeye carried in the trowsers pocket, as
an iniailible preventive.
A lady says that an application OF cotton
batten is sure thing.
once knew a famous cricket player who
was cured OF batting by rheumati m; but i
never knew that the rule would work both
ways. 1
A third suggestion was that ] should be en-
veloped from head to foot in blue clay, not to
be disturbed, till it cracked of OF itself.
This last struck me as good idea, especial
ly ii was to be placed at the bottom Of pit
six fes5 deep, to be thus enveloped, the hole
to be then hned up, and a neat Maidstone
erecte to marx the place.
am sured that the clay, under these cir
cumstance5 would crack and come cff itself,
at about the time when Gabriel performs his
solo oDiyabo for the trumpet.
Tle5s are but invalid corceits; of the rheu-
matsm, rheumatic; but can hardly do bet
ter Today. This paper is, in fact, the first
have wliJten Tor the press Tor nearly tort
night, and is but sort OF experiment.
Indeed, if it gives you the anne pain in the
elbow to read it, that it gives me to write it,
sincerely pity you.
But L, as I said, "easy reading is hard wri-
ting" this stands chance of being uncommon
ly easy ofperusal. -.
l an little out OF humor with Fate, or
whatever you call it, for this shabby tIeat-
ment. 1t was rather rough to give fellow a
whole summer of bilious agonies, with no re-
mittaaces to hope Tor except remittant fevers
and then to crowd on crippling rheumatism
at the end of ir!
1t is hard on fellows stamina, and consti-
ution, ald things. The thought of dumb bells
makes a weak feeling creep down my back;
and when l walk, leaning on my cane, you
might take me for some old sport, like Prot.
Homes Last Leaf'' aI