Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1866-07-05


turned my head to the right or left till was
fairly home and housed.
Well. now, says l, my apple cart is upset
in good earnest. And wLen | went to DR..
Dingley for comforts, he says:
John, / wash my hands of this whole
affair, from beginning to end. must sup
port my character. am settled doctor in
the town-and the character Of doctor,
John, is too delicate flower to go poking
around and dabbling in everybody's mess.
Mrs. Dingley, warn you not to NEEDLE nor
make in this business"
'Hold your tongue, you fool you," says
she, "did you ever hear of me burning my
fngers?"
Howsumever, there was underhand work
carried ON somewhere and by somebody. [
don't tell talesout of school. had no hand
in it, but one day Doctor Dingley, says he
John, if you happen to be wanting my
horse and shay, this afternoon, about three
o'clock, go and take it. | never refuse to
lend, you know. And 1 hope that Captain
Peabody will gain his law suit with Deacon
Carpenter, that he has gone down to Port
land to see to. But that's none of my bust
ness"
Somebody, tool don't say who-told me
there was certain Squire Darling, living
ing in certain town, about ten miles off,
that did business and asked no questions.
Well, in this said town, just after shutdown,
a young man named Joseph Morey, was
walking near the meeting house, with q
sort of cream colored book under his arm,
and heard something in the woods this side,
4 bof, ~ losI -
guessing. Such cracking and squeaking
and rattling-such thrashing and grunting
and snorting you never He stopped and
looked back, and all soon came to light.
There was an old white-faced horse come
scambling along out of the woods, rocking
and foaming, with an old wooded top shay
at his tail, and chap about my size -four
ishing a small bean pole pretty well broomed
up at the end. And say
"Mister, can ye tell me where one Squire
Darling lives?"
(Which Squire Darling ?" says he; there's
two Of that name"
g His name is JOHN" says I.
Faith" says he, "they are both Johns,
too, but one is lawyer and the tother
cooper"
oh, then, it must be the lawyer l
want" e99
With this the young man gave squirt at
Hannah and wink at me, and, says he
!" Come along am going right there now,
and I'll show ye the squire and fix things
for. We ',r$i1 rFr13o 80 shi4 Ffs - e
Well, he carried us into small one story
house, little further on, full of books and
papers and dust, and smelling strong of
old dead tobacco smoke. Here we sat down
while he went about our business. We
waited and waited till long after dark, and
were glad enough to see him come at last
with candle.
"The squire is very SICK" says he, but
/ have over-persuaded him."
The next moment the squire came grunt-
ing along in, all mutfied UP in great coat,
and spectacles on, and great tall woman
with him to witness for the bride.
Well, ne went to work and married us,
and followed up with righG down sensible
sermon, and I never felt so solemn and Sc
rious. Then followed kissing the bride all
round then the certificates, and then I
gave two silver dollars, and we got into the
shay again and drove off.
After this nothing happened to speak of,
for about month. Everything was kept
snug, and Captain Peabody had no sus-
picions. But one morning, at break of day,
as l was creeping softly down Captain Pea
body's back stairs, with my shoes in my
hand, trod into tub of water which was
startling on the third step from the bottom,
and down | came slam bang. The captain
was going to kill his hogs, and had got up
betimes, put his water to heat, and was
whetting his butcher knife in the kitchen.
The first thing saw, when | looked up,
there stood Captain Peabody with great
butcher knife in hand, looking down upon
me like thunder l want to know if
didn't feel streaked He clinched me by
the collar and stood me up, and then raised
his knife over me as high as he could reach.
l thought my time had come. Blood would
have been shed as sure as rats, if it had
not been for Mrs Peabody. She stepped up
behind him and laid hold of his arm and
says she, "it's no matter Mr.. Peabody, they
are married"
"Married to that puppy" roared the
captain.
eyes, sir" says I, "and here's the GER
ti6cate." And pulled it out of my jacket
pocket, and gave it to him. But l didn't
stay for any more ceremony; as soon as
felt his grip loosen a little, laid off like an
eel, and backed out doors, and made tracks
home about as fast as my legs could carry
me. But there IS to be no peace for me
this day. l was in constant worry and
stew all the forenoon, for fear the captain
would do something rash, and I could nei-
Their sit, nor stand still, eat, drink, nor
think.
About the middle of the afternoon Doctor
milo -
and says he,
"John, you have been cheated and BAN
boozled! Your marriage amt worth that
1t was all contrivance of Jack Darling, the
lawyer, and his two imps, Joe Morey, and
Peter Scamp"
This was all he could say till he wiped his
face, and had taken swig of cider to re-
cover his bIeath, and then he gave me the
particulars.
When Captain Peabody had read my GER
tificate he could not rest but tackled up
and drove right down to let off his fury upon
his old friend, Squire Darling. The moment
he got sight of the squire he turned to and
called him all the loud names he could lay
his tongue to for half an hour. The captain
downed the certificates, and says he
'There's black and white against ye, you
bloody old sculpen. 1af -.
The squire knew the hapdwritingwas his
nephews" as soon as he saw it, and the
truth was brought to light. But as the
storm fell in one quarter it rose from t'other
Squire Darling had smell tar in his day,
and hadn't forgot how to Dox the compass !;
and as soon as.the saddle was on the right
boss, ne set in and gave the captain his own
again; and let him have it about mormon
west, right in his teeth till he was fairly
blown out. They shook hands then and
seeing Hannah and had got under weight