Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1866-10-12
ne He's got real hang-dog expires


sion ~
I plunged into the first eross-street thai
offered, and came upon George Seaward J
young sprig of the arissocracy. with whom
l had an acquaintance. He gave mea segar
and we walked up the street together. smok.
ing, and making remarks on the ladies We
met.
A coal cart came rafting along, and a
rusty voice sung out,
Halo if there hain't cousin jim
Brown Jim, | say, look up here and sec
Sam Smith, won't you? Shake hands with
teller, do = and he extended toward me q
paw which, for size, would have fitted a
| Hercules and, for color, an Ethiopian.
made dodge into the back yard of a
! house, the inmates Of which set dog on
me, and inspired by the stimulus of his bark,
managed to escape into another yard, BY
climbing over the fence, and leaving my hat
and coat-tails behind me as souueniir
In my mad fight through yard No. 2. ]
! nearly overturned young woman who was
/ hanging clothes ON a line | opened my
mouth to apologize, but she seized me by
the arm with an exclamation of delight.
Why, Jim Brown, declare don't you
know me Me, your cousin Nelly ?''
broke from her; and no grass grew un-
| der my feet until | was safe in my own
chamber. | sunk down completely exhaas-
ted, wondering if the entire population of
| Boston consisted Of my relations
| Suddenly, | remembered that was going
to the theatre that night with Flora.
must put my hair in papers, and perfume
my moustache.
At dinner, Aunt Sally eyed me curiously,
and asked me what I'd got my hair rolled
/! up for She guessed there was a going to
be a quilting somewheres, she said. My
| mother, unfortunately, informed her that I
was going to the theatre. From that mo-
ment my doom was sealed
That was the very place, of all others that
aunt Sally wanted to visit. And she could
go with me jest as well as not, if not more
so, she said, complacently.
l dressed myself, when the time came,
and hurried out a side-door, determined to
battle aunt Sally but the old lady was too
sharp for me- There she sat composedly,
on one Of the stone lions that hanked the
gateway, dressed in flounced, pink calico,
and yellow bonnet, waiting for me.
L m all ready, she remarked, jumping
up and I've took my work. bag along, with
some crackers in it. If it holds in till after
nine o clock, we shall want launchin f"
We stepped into the street The people
stared at US | felt as red as O full blown
poppy. My face streamed with perspira-
ton. could not endure it it was no use.
Politeness ] ignored in this case. took
advantage of the old lady s rapt, gaze at the
window Of print shop to bolt down a by
street; and in few moments / was in the
presence of my divine Flora. We walked
leISCrely TO the theatre; [ at my ease-for
knew the old lady never could find her way,
unassisted, to the theatre
Judge, then, Of my horror, when, on
reaching that place of amusement, the first
spectaGlH6g "fn-rlictad my ewes -a''re4c Sci
her arm, her voice raised to its highest ten
sion and her right hand gesticulating to the
crowd she had gathered around her.
''He went out of sight jest like flash IL
she was saying, ''and give little boy a ten
cent piece to show me the way here-and
l m waiting for him to come along. I'm
kinder afeared he's got lost, for he was alias
rather weak-headed but, seeing as if he
might have asked somebody the way he's
got tongue in his head. Halo
there he's now, and the Queen of Ingland
with him, by her gound Come along, Jim;
the meetin' Jest goin to begin They re
footing on tho bass-viol now Where on
airth did you 20 to SO quick Is that your
"a?
Indignation and dismay held me silent.
Flora face was like a blush-rose. The
crowd, by great effort, restrained them
selves from cheering the old lady but it
was very evident to me that they would not
long exercise any such forbearance.
Jim, said my ancient relative, in a con-
fidential whisper, loud enough to be heard
by the whole assembly, you We got some
7 ,no1 - ha(sz
we started, but didn't like to say nothing.
You d better wipe it off; it looks dreadful
ly
The crowd fairly roared. Smut, indeed
my cherished mustache, that had scented
and oiled, and admired for three long
months If the old lady had been a man,
I should have challenged her on the spot
With desperate effort | addressed Flora.
Flora, my dear, we viii 20 in, and not
pay any regard to this insane old woman. =
Flora turned toward me, an iron determl-
nation in her blue eye.
Frank, she said-she always called me
Frank-'tell me who that horrid old crea-
ture is before go another step
'Horrid critter / hain't horrid crit
ter p cried aunt Sally, waving her work-bag.
II m decent woman, and haint got no
paint onto my face, as some folks that L
know of has And I'm Jim Browns own
aunt--his father sister, Sally, that married
a Nutter and we mended his pinnyfores
and trowsers many time ~
Flora IiafanAd and whom aunt Sally en-
ished, she cast upon me such look
"Mr. Brown, she said, quietly, 4 have
the honor to wish you very good evening,
with your estimable relative )" and then she
took the arm of Fitz Ludlow, and sailed
away.
thought should have tainted on the
spot; and, perhaps, | should, if | had not
felt my sleeve yehementy pulled | turn
ed, and saw lean faced man.
dollars, do. I've left my pocket-book to
hum
Good gracious it was uncle Solomon
French and behind him was my uncle Bill;
and behind him my aunt Mary, and cousin
Susan. did not stop to see how many
more there was. took it for granted that
the whole audience was to be composed of
my relatives. | jumped down the steps, and
fed at the top of my speed. Aunt Sally
cried at the extent of her lungs.
''Stop him Stop him I'll give quar-
ter to the man that eaptivates him
Community at large at once decided that
| must be thief, or a murderer; and they
rushed after me at railway speed. A
dozen dogs joined in the chase, making
night hideons with their bowling | was in
too much of hurry to keep a very keen
look out for obstacles; and the first thing ]
knew, ran headlong over lady drawing a
baby carriage.