Nebraska advertiser., 1866-06-21


ligiOus Herald, enforced ihenecesisiss Of
the difference Of opinion BY this argu-
ment:
"NOw, if everybody bad been Of my
opinion, they would all have wanted my
old woman" ~
One of the dsacons, who sat jasi be.
hind him, responded: ayes, and if ev-
erybOdy was of my opinion, nobody
would have her."
aHars the jury agreed ?" asked the
bailiff Of locked up set Of IL, whom be
had left under his mar, Dennis Garry.
and whom be met on the stairs, with n
pail in his hand.
"Oh, yes" replied Dennis; they've
agrade TO sind out for another half-gal.
lon."
Jack wanted a pair of shoes, and coax.
ed his shipmate to go shopping with. =
him. Their search for a good store was
cut short by sign. which Jacks friend
read as follows:
".A.dam Strong shoemaker. +"
"This is the place. said Jack.
81 can tell you how to save tha. horse"
said a small boy to a man who vas look
ing al the skeleton of horse attached
to a vehicle.
"How?n
"Whg, just slip him away when The
crows are at roost."
81 say, landlord, that's a dirty towel
for man to wipe on %
Landlord, with look Of Amusement.
replied: Sixty or seventy Of my boar.
ders have wiped on that towel this NOR.
ming. and you are the arsi 70 end fault"
Father" said a cObbler's boy, as be
was peggiBg away at an old shoe. "Ihey
say that trout bite now"
"Well, WELL" replied the old gentle.
man; "slick to your work, and they
wont bite yOu."
An Irishman, sent to trim a young OE-
chard, was asked at night If be had fn-
ished. "No," said be 81 have cut the
trees all down, and will trim them to.
morrow"
An inconsiderate fellaw calls the
prevalent use Of tilting skirts, the "hiE.
derpest."
Why is the Rinderpest like a mousel
Because the cat'll catch it.
Maria Benham, of Ann ArbOr, Mich.
aged sixteen, Lot her life las week, from
her indiscretiOn in attempting to blow out
the fame Of a kerosene lamp.
The 'GenIiles" are said TO be pouring
into Utah in great numbers. They will
soon be in a majority.
The novelty in petiicoats is a single
deep Aounee, which assists 10 hold up
the skirt, and prevent it from clipping.
This deep founce is trimmed with seve4
raj rows Of narrow Tuches, which are
well starched. Two petticoats made in
this way are considered equal to one
crinoline.
Such officers as Gen Neal Dow and
Ben. Butler are now known a. ''pro.
gressive PuritiaRs."
A man out Yves: boasts Of having
eaten fofly-nine boiled eggs. We have
never kept any count. but we honestly
believe that we have eaten more than
that, ourselves.
One Of the old school says that to
understand some modern preachers be
should be obliged to carry two dictionaries
In his pockets TO meeting.
They have a cheerful practice on the
railroad to New York. As soon as the
train starts, boy comes through the
cars and asks if you want your life
insured.
The mortality of Charleston ior
eleven months fOOls up whites $50,
blacks 1903.
The rebel leaders, who were supposed
to be actuated by desire TO be Presi-
dent, are generally becoming Presidents
-Of railroad.
Ground coffee iE said to be az excel.
lent disinfectant. In France theY uss
it to streg on eorpses 10 destroy theiF
ofensiveness.
A case is hsfOfe ST. Louis Court ia
yolving the question as 70 whether q
mans wife is personal properly.
{ A EOlnntser::In lhs rebel army having
been eleeted town clerk IN Wisconsin,
the Attorney General justi6es his pFede-
eessor in refusing to give up he books
and papers, and admOnisbes The lats
rebel that be cannot hold ofkes il ihai
4 State. s SEQ