Democrat and sentinel. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1853-1866, 1866-05-10
THE OLD WOMAN AND THE
CROW.
b Y W. n. 10 II \ S T o y E.

The following amusing anecdote
which has never yet appeared in
print, struck me as containing a
point so keeniy satirical that I de-
termined to write it down and have
it placed on the records 1t was
told me by one who was both an
eye and ear witness, and who, Of
course, speaks from the book. The
story will lose much Of its mdicrous-
ness in my style Of writing, and his
of telling it, but here goes:
At a certain crossroads, in. the
State Of Alabama, stood a small
grocery, or "whisky-shop," previ-
Gus to the rebellion, where " bust
head " and chain-lightning" were
dealt out to the thirsty unwashed
at the small sum of five cents a
quart. The presiding genius of
this delectable institution was one
Bill Skies, who among various
other pets, had a domesticated crow,
black as the ace Of spades. This
crow had learned, among other
things, to repeat quite plainly the
words dam you . which, he of
course, heard frequently used in the
grocery. During the prevalence of
a knock-down and drag-out fight
one day, however, the crow was
frightened from his home and flew
off into the woods, never to return.
About three miles from the gro
Gerry was a settlement meeting
house-an old tumble-down, dilapi-
dated affair, only used on certain
occasions, when a " circuit-rider -"
happened to pass that way. In
this building went the crow, taking
peaceable possession and two
days thereafter the church was
thrown open for preaching, and a
large crowd assembled, among
whom was a very old lady, who
was compelled to use crutches in
walking, who took her seat in the
- front pew," and was soon deeply
absorbed in the eloquence Of the
preacher. The reverend gentleman
had scarcely got under full headway,
and commenced laundering his an
athemas at all grades of sinners,
when a hoarse, croaking voice from
above uttered the ominous words:
Damn you p
g The preacher and congregation
looked aghast at such profanity,
each peered in his neighbor's face
in vain to detect some sign of guilt.
Quiet was at length restored, but
ere ten minutes had elapsed the
ominous " damn your again cleo
titled the audience, and just as the
preacher cast his eyes upwards to
search for the delinquent, the crow
flew down from his perch, and,
lighting on the Bible, calmly sur
veyed the terrified crowd, as he
gave another doleful croak:
damn You -
The effect was electrical. Civ
ing one startled and terrified glance
at the intruder, the preacher sprang
through a window, carrying sash,
glass and all with him, and set off
at a break-neck pace through the
woods, closely followed by his hor-
ror stricken congregation, who had
piled out Of the building pell-mell
after him. In the general scramble,
the old lady with the crutches had
been knocked down in the church,
where she lay, unable 10 rise, and
on observing her, the crow (who
was after something to eaD flew
down beside her, and cooking up
his eye at her very knowingly,
again croaked:
damn you -
The old lady eyed him savagely
for few moments, and then burst
forth, in tone Of reckless defiance
Yes-and damn you, too! = |
had nothing to do with getting up
of this Methodist meeting-and you
know it, too y
The poor old soul had mistaken
the crow for the Devil, and conclu-
ded to propitiate, if possible, the
wrath OF his Satanic majesty by
denying all completely in the affair.
The world is full Of just such peo-
ple.~-Chattanooga Gazette.