The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1866-01-20

Wanted-A young man to take charge of
q pair of horses Of religious turn Of mind
The man who couldn't stand it any long
er, has taken a seat, and now feels quite
comfortable
Some author tells US that much is said
about the tongue" True, the thing is in
eyerybody's mouth.
A wifes toast for the teatable-" My hus-
band-may he never be tight; but tight or
straight-my husband +"
An Irish judge said, when. addressing a
prisoner: YOu are to be hanged, and
hope it viii prove warning to you
A school committeeman writes thus We
have a schoolhouse large enough to accom-
modate three hundred pupils four stories
high.
Slight changes make great differences.
Dinner for nothing is very good fun, but
you can't say as much of Nothing for din
ner."
A person being told that bone dust was
used by some unscrupulous bakers, remark
ed, whats bred in the bone can't be
helped, but bone in the breads quite anOth-
er question.
" Nonchalant means the peculiarly In
different look which is put on by men who
never. pay when dunned for money. 1t
should be written non she'll ont.
Madam, said portrait painter, your
/ daughter is beautiful-she is perfect little
| pearl. Aud pray, sir, what am 2"
Oh" replied the painter, "you are, Of
course, the mother 0, pearl -
The editor of country newspaper says
that he felt called upon to publish Father
! Lewis sermon on the locality of he'll, as
/ it was a question in which nearly all his
readers were deeply interested.
a patriotic lady in Milan was engaged to
! a young man who was drafted, but was ex-
empted on the ground that he was not
strong enough. Full Of JOY, ne hurried to
his lady love to tell her the news. but was
received by her with the remark Sir, con-
slider our engagement as broken. do not
want husband who is not strong enough
for service.
+ A minister who had lost his wife, and had
become wearied Of his second edition Of the
single state, was once instructing a congre-
cation from the passage, Use this world as
not abusingit etc" In the course of his
remarks he took occasion to mention some
things which Christian could dispense with
in this world. In the category he put a
wife He had, however, scarcely said 4" a
man may do without a wife" when his own
experience stoutly protested and he finished
shis branch of the subject by saying in the
simplicity Of his heart, But, my brethren,
it's mighty hard p
To destroy rats-catch them one by one,
and hatten their heads with lemon squeezer.
To kill coekroaehes-get a pair Of heavy
boots, then catch your reaches, put them
into barrel, and then get in yourself and
dance.
To kill bedbugs-chain their hindlegs to
q tree, then 90 round In front and make
mouths at them.
To catch mice-on going to bed, put
crumbs of cheese into your mouth, and lie
with 1t open, and when q mouse's whiskers
tickle your throat, bite.
To prevent dogs going mad-cut their
tails off just behind their ears.
Persons who become sick from eating
roast turkey can prevent recurrence of
the sickness by not eating roast turkey.
On the Little Miami railroad there is a
station called Morrow a new brakeman on
the road who didn't know the names of the
stations, was approached by a stranger the
other day, while standing by his train at the
depot, who inquired:
" Does this train 60 TO Morrow to-day D"
No, said the brakeman, who thought
the stranger was making game Of him, it
goes to-day, yesterday, week after mex"
You don't understand me- persisted the
stranger want to 60 to Morrow"
A" Well, why in the thunder don't You wait
until to morrow, then, and not come bother
ing around here to-day"
Won't you answer a civil question in
evil manners VIII this train 20 to-day to
Morrow 2"
Not exactly. It win go to-day and come
back tomorrow"
AS the stranger who wanted to 90 to
Morrow was about to leave IN disgust an
other employee, who knew the station allud-
cd to, came along and gave him the required
information