Mineral Point weekly tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1859-1868, 1866-10-03
Q II I = B L O Q X =


Ask two rival beauties how old they are.
REFRAIN from bitter words there
is only the difference of a letter between
words and swords.
LITTLE BoY.-Father, / know how
TO fire off the guns and cannons of earth, but
who is tall enough to touch OF. thunder !
LAY OR YELL.-Mrs. Yell lately
COW -hidcd Mr. Lay for not performing prom
Use to marry her. As he wouldn't make her
Lay, she made him yell.
WHEN landlord raises the rent it
makes it more difficult for his tenants to
raise the rent. This sounds parado1ical, but
it is
THE man IN Jail who looked out Of
the window CT his cell and exclaimed. " This
is CRATE country !" is now generally admit
ted to have spoken within bounds.
4 For who was about starting down
to New Orleans proposed to purchase a life
preseryer. %, you'll not want it, :" said the
clerk of the boat, -" bags of wind dor sink"
Az eastern editor SAYS he had
pair of boots 50 tight that they came very
near making him Unvcrsalist-because he
received his punishment as he 'ceat along
WHEN Rabelais was on his death
bed a consultation of physicians was called
" Dear gentleman, said the wit to the doc
tors, raising his languid head, 9 let me die
natural death
How seldom it happens, said one
friend to another, that sind editors who
are bred to the business. Very replied the
other and have you not remarked bow sell
dom it happens that the business is brad to
the editors? ?
BAD Luck AND Coon LCCK-Bad
Luck is simply a man with his hands in his
pockets and his pipe iii his mouth, looking on
to see how IT will come out. rood Luck is
a man of pluck, with his sleeves rolled up,
and working to MARE IT come right.
GARDENER, why do You water the
sidewalk so much ?n
Gadner-'' Sure, maister has nothing to
anuse him, and so makes me keep the side
walk wet, while he looks out o the windy at
the ladies' ankles"
THE editor Of country exchange
says: 4 correspondent writes that if we
desire it, he viii send us something 10 fill
up with. That's Just what we want. Sup
pose that YOU commence now with good
roasting piece of beef and a barrel of flour.
DIDN'T EAT PoRK.-An Israe!ite
lady, sitting in the same box at opera
with a Fr, nch physician and being troubled
with entnai, happened TO cape. q Excuse me
madame" Give yourself no uncasiness,"
replied the lady; q" | am Jewess-and
never eat pork :"
THE following lines found written
in hvmn-book which the owner had incau-
tiously left in her pew, eSplanes the cause
which impels many of our young ladies to
attend church
look in vain-he does not come;
Dear, dear what shall do?
1 cannot listen as 1 ought
Unless he listens too.
TIemight have come well notg
What PLAQUES these fellows are;
I'll bet he's fast asleep at home,
Or smoking cigar.
A scuooI. BOY, noted among his play
fellows for his frolics with the girls,
reading aloud in the Testament, when com
ing to the phrase, making waste places
glad, he was asked by the pedagogue what
it meant. The vounGster paused, scratched
his head, but could give no answer; when
up jumped a more precocious urchin, and
cried out: % l know what it means, master.
1t means hUGCing the girls, for Tom Ross is
alters hugging 'eni round the waist and il
makes 'em as glad can be-
SAMBo ON WOMEN Dev may
rail against women as much as dey like, dey
can't set me up against dem. | hab always
/ in nv life found dem to be fust in lub. fust
/ in quarrel, fust in de dance, fust i'm dc ice
/ cream saloon and de fuSt. best and de last in
/ de sick room What would We poor debbles
/ do widout dem Let us be born as Young,
as ugly and as helpless a. we please, and a
woman's arm am opeI. TO receive us She
am il who CUBS us our fust dose of castor oil
and puts close 'pon our helplessly naked
( limbs and cubbers mp our foots and tooses in
, flannel petticoats; and it am she, as We
! grow up fills our dinner-basket wid dough
nuts and apples as we start to school and
licks as when we tear our trowsis.
THE FIRST TWENTY YEARS. i Live
as long as you may, the first twenty
years form the greater part Of your
life They appear so when they are
passing, they seem to have been so
when we look back to them, and thew
take up more room in our memory than
all the wears which sncceed them II
this be so, how important that they
should be passed IN planting good prin-
ciples, ,cultivating good tastes, strength
ening good habits, and fleeing from all
those pleasures which lay up bitter
mess and sorrow for the time 70 come.
Take good care Of the first twenty
/ years of vour life. and you may hope
/ that the last rwcntv years wIH take
tcare of yo'l.