The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1866-05-10
Artemus Ward at Fenian Meeting.
His Speech as Reported by Himself


The town hall was jam-full of people,
mostly Irish citizens, and the enthoosasIn
was immense They cheer'd everybody
, and everything They cheer'd me. ''Hur-
roo for Ward Hurroo!"
They was all good nabers of mine, and
: answered in pleasant voice, ''All right,
boys, all right. Mavoorneen, och hone,
aroon, Cosha macree!" These Irish re-
marks bein' received with CRATE applaus, l
added, 'MushIer Musher !
Good Good! cried Cap Spingler,
who desires the Irish vote for county clerk /;
''thats fus rate"
''You see what I'm drivin' at, don't you,
Cap ?" said.
7. Certainly"
WELL" answered, 'Im very glad you
do, for don't" ...
This made the Fnians larf, and they
said walk up onto the speakers platform,
n sir
! The speeches were red hot again Eng
land and her iron heel, and it was resolved
to free Ireland at onct But it was much
desirable before freein' her that a large
quantity of funs should be raised And,
like generous souls as they was, funs was
llib'rally contributed. Then arose an ex-
fcitin discussion as to which head center
they should send 'em to-O'MahoDy or Nc
Roberts. There was great excitement over
this, but it was finally resolved to send half
to one and half to t'other
Then Mr.. Finuigan rose and said we hav
here to night sum citizens of American
birth, from whom we should be glad to
hear. 1t would fill our harts with speech
less joy to hear from man whose name
towers high In the geological and wax fig
ger world-from whose pearly lips"
Says |, Go slow, Finny, go slow
! 'We wish to hear continued Mr.. Finni-
gan, moderatin' his stile summit, from our
townsman, Mr. Ward
beg'd to be declined, but it want no
use. rose amidst a perfeck uproar of ap
plaus,
| said we HAD convened there i'll meet
ill.,, as understood it, or rstner in a body
as it were, in reference tc Ireland. If
know my own heart, every one of US there,
both CRATE and small, bad an impulse flow
ing i'll his boosum, and consequently,
added, we will stick to it similar and in &C
cordance Herewith, as long as a spark of
manhood, or the peple at large. That's the
kind of man | be =
Squire feels the wrongs of Ireland deeply,
on accounts of havin onct-courted wilder
of a Irish gentleman who fingered in
loathsun ,duEgin i'll Dublin, placed there by
a English tavern keeper, who despotcally
wanted him to pay for quantity of chops
and beer. he had consoom'd Besides, the
Squire wants to be reelected justice of the
peace. Mr. Ward he said, you've bin
| drinkin. You're under the inhooence of
ticker, sr?'
Says |, Squire, not drop of good Ticker
has passed my lips in 10 years,
LCries Of oh here now, that won't do. !
1t is troo, | said. Not a drop of good
ticker has passed my lips in all that time.
| don't let it pass EN-. reach for it while
it is goin' by 7 says |. Squire, harness me
some moIe! .... .
Il beg pardon, slid the squire, for the re-
mark you sober but what on air til are
you drivin at i?
Yes said, that's just it, That's what
I've bin akin myself durin the entire even
in What is this CRATE meetin' drvin' at
What's all the CRATE Fniyin meetins drivin'
at all over the country =
My Irish frens, you know me well enutf
to know that didn't come here to disturb
this meetin' Nobody but a oafer will dis
turb any kind of a meetin And if you'll
notice it, them as are up to this sort of thing
alters come to bad end. There was
young mani will not mention his name
who disturbed my show in certain town,
two years agO, by maxim remarks disre-
spectful OF my animals, accompanied by an
alosan to the front part of my head. which,
as you see, is bald-sayin' says this young
man, You sand-paper 1t too much, but
you've got a beautiful he'd of hair in the
back of your neck, old man. This made
few ignent and low minded persons larf;
but what was the fate of that young man ?
In less than a month his aunt died and left
him farm in Oxford county, Maine The
human mind can picter no greater misfor-
tin than this.
No, my Irish frens, am here as your
naber and fren. know you are brave and
warm-hearted. | know you are honest in
this Finian matter, ~ #H Ea
But let us look at them Head Centers.
Let US look at them rip-roarin' orators in
New York, whove bin tearin round for
upwards year, swearin' Ireland shall be
free.
There's two parties-O McMahonys and
to go over to Canady and establish Irish
Republic there, kindly permitting the Ca
nadians to pay the expenses of that sweet
boon; and the other wants to sail direck
for Dublin bay, where young McRoy and
his fair young bride went down and was
drowning accordin to ballad | onct heard.
But there's one pint on which both sides
agree-that's the fuus They're willin,
them chaps in New York, to receive all the
fuus you II send them. You send puss
to night to Mahony, and another puss to
Roberts. Both will receive em. You bet
and with other pusses it will be sim lar I
wos into MIR. Deimomcos eatin' house the
other night, and saw my fren Mr.. Terrence
NlcFadden, who is elekent and euterpris-
ing deputy centre. He was sitting at ia
bic, eatin canvass-b back duck Poultry of
that kind, as you know, is rather high now.
| think about five dollars per pout. Aud
"a bottle of green seal stood before him
How are you, Mr.. McFadden?' | said
oh, Mr. Ward | am miserabie-mis-
eIabie The wrongs we Irshmen suffer
tn, Ireland Will a troo history of your
sufferngs ever be written? Must we for
ever be ground under by the iron heel of
Edespotic Briton but, Mr. Ward, won
you eat suthn p
'Well, said, if there's another canvass
back duck and spare bottle of that green
seal III the house, | wOuIdn mind lining
you in being ground under by Briten's iron
| heel.
Green turtle soup, first p he said
We'll yes. If I'm to share the wrongs
of Ireland with you, don't care if do
have bowl of soup. Put bean in to it. $
said to the waiter 1T will remind me
Of my childhood days, when We had EN-
baked in conjunction with pork every Sun
day mornin' and then all went up to the
village church md had refreshing nap in
the fam ly pew
Mr.. McFadden, who was suffering so