The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1866-03-08

the poor rat had the worst OF IL.
Mrs. Partington's Ike has bought
horse that is 80 spirituous, that he always
goes off in a decanter.
The old fogy who poked his head out 1
from behind the e,tinfes" had it knocked
suddenly by passing event"
What is tho worst kind of fare for a
man to live on? Warfare
AS the quickest-way to make a fortune,
cotemperary suggests marrying fash
ionable young lady and selling her clothes.
To catch mice, place sweetmeats in
your mouth on going to bed, and keep it
wide open When you feel the whiskers
of the mouse, bite.
A California writer says that he has
come to the conclusion that the term
grass. widows arise from the fact that their
husbands are always rowing blades.
A nico old lady up town declares that
she thinks it very strange that little
quicksilver in glass tube can make such
awful hot weather by just rising in it an
inch or so.
A Colorado editor, who calls that ter
ritory Paradise, invites the women to
emigrate there He perhaps forgcts the
consequences of woman's introduction
into tho Hrs+ P,rodisa
The man everybody likes is generally
fool. The man nobody likes is gener-
ally knave. The man who has friends
who would die for him, and foes who
would love to see him frailed alive, is
usually man of some worth and force.
Have you got sister? Then love and
cherish her with holy friendship. IF
you have no sister we advise you to love
somebody else's sister.
why is lady of fashion like a success
full sportsman? Because she bags the
hair.
We admire thunder, but as for light
ming, we were never struck by it.
Why is U the gayest letter in the al
phabet? Because it is always in fun.
How long did Cain hate his brother?
AS long as he was Abel
When are good soldiers like good fan
nels? When they won't shrink.
If q loafer and gallon of whiskey are
sitting side by side, which will be drunk
first?
"I hate doctors bill," as the man said
when he caughtt the family physician kiss
ing his wife.
Why is warlike ncursion like lady
in full dress? Because it is araid (array-
ed) for conquest.
Lip-service is considered discreditaole
to Christian, but it is q delightful thing
between two lovers.
! A Yankee has just taught ducks to
swim in hot water with such success that
they lay boiled eggs.
Why was Herod's wife like Fenian
organization Because she had head
sent her (head centre.)
A French newspaper says only three OF
it's subscribers are bald, and they are in
areas for subscription.
aThrift follow fawning," as the hun
ter said when he killed six fawns and sold
them for handsome sum.
The first cain ever cut.-Cain, the son
of Adam. Everybody "cut" him after ne
had killed his brother.
Why is man with o curved spine like
house with rear piazza? Because he
has back stoop.
"Im on the trail of dear" as the fel-
low said when he stepped on the dress OF
beauty in the street.
The character of an upright man is like
pair of boots. The more you black it
the more it shines.
elbow long did Adam remain in Para
disc before he sinned?" ?" said an amiable
spouse to her husband "Till no got q
wife," was tho calm reply.
Caught in her own net" as man said
when he saw one of the fair sex hitched
in her crinoline.
Why is husband like mississippi
steamboat? Because he never knows
when be may get blowing up.
United States Internal Revenue
License Tax and Stamp Duties.
Important for Reference.