The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-11

the grammar of the Bible is just the re-
verse. He being the absent person it is
our duty to speak for him; advocate his
cause. You being the second person,
and always present, We are careful what
We say, but Mr.. I. thinks for himself,
speaks for himself and acts for himself,
which make him very sci. fish sort of
bivalve. Disinterested friendship is as
hard to find as June bugs in January
Nobody wants to be an Alexander Selkirk,
and yet nobody stands watching for a
biped to come along that he may do him
good. There is no use denying it, we
are all selfish. Some are more wickedly
so than others but who shall cast the first
stone? Mr.. Whackhammer may throw
ink but will not venture that stone. Ink
will not rebound, stones do, and somebody
might get hurt The first person is al
ways gaping for the lions share, forget
ing there are good many other first per-
sons who have just as good a right to that
very share.
This taking care Of number one has
cost our Landed and applauded Uncle
Samuel several dollars since democracy
degeneratcd into rascality and dollars and
cents And SO too during the late little
difficulty our Uncle had with the ''er--
ing" Of Africa. He had TO have his
pockets made larger, and having consid-
cradle to attend to, just so sure as the
corner Of green back stuck out, some
hungry cur at his feet would snatch it
aud disappear in the crowd. This is the
conscience money" that comes back to
Uncle without saying who stole it. l
think the conscience money men were re-
publicans democrats have had no con-
science to make it of for the last twenty
years The great Democratic First Per-
son run himself into the ground with that
rusty old nobody known as j. B. 1t has
not vitality enough in its veins to cry
"nigger" any more. Assuming to be
somebody it became nothing, and it has
vanished away into thick darkness With
the names of its J. B's its Woods. its
Daviscs, its Breckcuridges, Vallanding-
hams, Pendlctons and It's "ayes. >
That ayericious old First Person l. has
proved too much for the great Dem
ocratic Party and already we see, not
wonderful monument rearing its pure
; head Up so high as to part the passing
clouds Of hea"en, but sappy unpainted
hickory plank With these words written
on it with red chalk
The Democratic party exploding in thick air,
We could not find its bones, and few there
were to care.
We, rounded ones, awaiting what yet must
be our doom
; Resolved that 1t should have, at least, on
earth tomb
Here, in this Banner County, and in Smith
neId, ever true,
We chalk, for want of means, these lines to
memory due,
when even Smithfeld would our ruin more
complete
Knock down this slab and write it Obsolete.
Now obsolete, you know, means out of
use. and [ think these last sympa-
thizers might just as we'll have written it
obsolete the day they migrated from Jer-
sey to Smithfcld and made their last Gre
solve"
From this point, if We take up the case
, of Mr.. Napoleon, we can very easily see
this same First Person system is very like
ly to upset his calculations of greatness
on this continent, and be may find that he
is not even that lid person which he al
so assumes to be. | should very much
like to know what will be written on his
ab-defunct, aud [ will here offer my
services to write it gratis. [ so in for
the Monroe Doctrine, though / never
went with the majority in Monroe Coun.
ty politics. Mr.. Napoleon writes books
some tin,es-J. B. wrote one also, and
somebody printed it for him, but whether
any person has read it yet have not
heard-and now won't Mr.. n. give us
one on an Emperor who attended to his
? own business 1t would be very inter,
esting just now. shall send this lecture
to him with the simple request-provlded
, 1 can get it franked, for | never spend
2 money on foolish objects, and L am I'M
pressed with the idea that he is a very
, foolish object
Now the Great Rebellion was built on