Des Arc citizen., 1866-12-22
Brides.

A bride is the culmination of a moth CTS anxiety and the commencement of Husbands serious reflections. A mother looks upon her daughter array ed bride as an arrow shot from her household quiver at that target of fe- male archery, man and, if the arrow has made fair hit, is prone to chuekle over the shot as showing forth her superior matronly skill. If, on the con trafy, the success is doubtful, then the mother, like bad archer, blames the arrow, the luck, anything, indeed, but her own bad management.
 Brides are divided into numerous classes. For example,: Sentimental brides, who marry for love speculative brides, who marry for money; anxious brides, who marry for the sake of being married accommodating brides, who marry because their lovers ask them to marry {; inquisitive brides, who marry for curiosity; and invalid brides, who marry to restore their health.
 Sentimental brides are the most nu- merous but not the most happy of the orange-wreathed tribe. They are gen. erally young creatures, who revel in poetical dreams connected with the wearer of love of moustache, or the possessor of a handsome nose, or eX- pressive eyes, or an animated doll, who can make pretty little speeches, grace ful bows, or sing pretty little song. She takes great pride unto herself be- cause she married Charlie for his own dear self and not for his surroundings unaware that mans position in society, his friends, and even his wealth or poverty is as much a part of himself total as the curl of his hair, the song he sings, or the strut he affects, or even his education. She generally fnds,t when the song is less brilliantly sung, the moustache requires Christadora, the head wig, and the poetical speeches are turned into matter of fact impera- tives, that the varnish is rubbed off, the gloss removed, and Charlie is not the man he used to be. 9cr e9l5 ta
 The money bride has made herself an article of merchandise, and is to be valued according to the price she ob- tains for herself. She belongs to every condition of society, from her who marries for social position, horses and carriages, diamonds, houses and bank account, to the work girl who marries a one room home, and the privilege of only half starving on her husbands petty weekly pittance. She generally reaches the conclusion that she has sold herself too cheap. a .@+t
 The health-sceking bride looks on the marriage service as a prescription, the parson as a doctor, and the husband as the bolus administered for her ills blue pill that must be swallowed, however nauseous. She knows that she is travelling on the road to death, yet clinging to life, endeavors to throw her burden on her lord Flying from the embraces of tho worm, she is com pelled to accept those of the bride groom. She merely prefers an earthly to an unearthly dwelling, the marriage bed to the narrow house appointed for all living. The honeymoon shines through the apothecary bottles, and the epithalamium is coughed in wheezy periods. e.u
 The purchasing bride is generally an old maid or widow, who, despairing of being courted for her own sake, seeks a husband through the medium of her pecuniary charms. She generally lets every one know, after marriage, that she keeps the purse strings in her own hands, and the young man-for this class usually succeed in obtaining young men-whom she has succeeded in en- trapping is highly and everlastingly indebted to her. The experience of such is usually the conclusion that they have paid too dearly for their whistle.
 The husband desiring bride is, per haps, the most composed of all brides, the least enthusiastic, and the most lik- ely to be happy. She marries because it is instinct with her, not because she is particularly in love. So sheis not so apt to be troubled with the bangs of jealousy, or suffer from disapp continent when she discovers that the bridegroom is not much better than the average of men after all. She goes through the days of courtship as matter of course ]; wonders at the whims and caprices of sentimental girls; receives and daccepts the offer of marriage as matter of course dons the bridal attire, and goes through the whole formula wedding ceremonies or unceremonies as matter of course performs all the duties and submits to all the little vacations of married life as matter ofcourse lives serene, orderly and quiet life, and dies respected and regretted by all who knew her, as matter of course.
 READERS CLASSIFIED. .--Coleridge thus
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