Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1866-11-23
misrellanp.
Irish Bulls.

other day." said native of Erin, +" / met
Pat Hewins. Hewins,' says ], how are
you! Pretty well, thanksyou, Donnel.
", says he. Donnelly says l, that's
rot my name.' Faith, then, no more i:
mine lIewins. So with that we looked al
aich other agin, an sure enough it was
nayther of us. And where is the bull in
that now ?"
1t must have been twin sister of this
gentleman, who, having been nearly
drowned by falling into a well, committed
very rich bull, when she piously and
thankfully declared that only for ProU !.
deBce and another scoman she never would
have got out.
Horace Walpole records in his Walponi-
ana an Irish bull, which he pronounces to
be the best he ever met with. al hate that
woman" said a gentleman, looking at a
person who had been his nurse, Il late
her, for aohen 1 aoas child, she changed
me at nurse" This was indeed perplex-
ing assertion: but we have similar in
stance recorded in the autobiography of an
lrishman, who gravely informs us that he
'ran away early in life from his father, OF
discovering he was only his uncle"
Again, poor Irish lad, complaining of
the harshness of his father, says he treats
him as if he were his son by another father
and mother.
The next bull we record is redolent of
the soil, and proves that in Ireland at least
the determination to overcome impossible
tiles is not yet extinct. An Irishman hav-
ing challenged gentlemen to fight duel.
who somehow forgot to attend the appoint
ment, met accidently that same day the
offending party, and thus addressed him
: Well, sir, ! met you this morning, but
you did not come hoseeyer, / am deter
mined 10 meet you to-morvosc morning
,ohether you come or mott" We wonder
was the gentleman who displayed such a
reluctance TO be present the same who de-
clared he would not fight duel because
he was unwilling to leave his old mother
an orphan.
The following piece of naivete was ut
tered in a shop in Il market-town in Coun-
ty Cavan by poor Irishwoman What
is your tenpenny ribbon yard ?' she in
luired. "a shilling, maam," was the
rather paradoxical reply. "Very well
hen,'' said our simple friend, "nick it at
hat" To this we may add the daily de-
nands in such establishments for white ha'
benny spools, or black women's stockings,
yellow girls gloves, etc., etc.
Here comes into our mind charming
little anecdote, so naive and national in |
character, that though, strickly speaking,
is neither blunder nor bull, we cannot
'efrain from giving it.
An apprentice sailor-boy fell from the |
round-top TO the deck, stunned, but lit
le hurt. The captain exclaimed in sur
'rise Why, where did you come from ?"
From the north of Ireland, yer honor ."
vas the prompt reply, as the fellow gath
red himself up.
1t is only few months since the Times
a most perfect bull. In re-
Jew of Tennyson's Enoch arden, the fol-
owing sentence occurs relative TO the self.
enial of Enoch, who keeps his existence
secret from his wife, whom he finds mar
led again and happy. '' He died, but not
nsI he died, did he mention to those
round him who be was !" Now, who
hould ever expect on looking over John
Bulls great representative, to meet with
uch a genuine Irishman as that? We
an only account for it by supposing it was
by an Irishman. We believe
number of them are employed upon the
taft of that august publication.
Not TO be outdone, however, by its mon
Ter contemporary, an irish paper an
ounces, not many weeks since, the death
poor deaf man called Gaff. He had
cen run over by a locomotive. and, adds
lie paper, he received similar injury
lis time last year"
Another excellent bull Of the same kind
as perpetra'ed bya coroner in the Coun-
: Limerick this spring. Being asked how
e could account for the fearful mortality
st winter, he replied: " do not know
lere are great many people dying this
EAR who never died before"
To this we add the story of an Irishman
lat nearly died, according to Lis own ac-
'unt, through the treatment of his physi-
an, lie, who declares, drenched him so
ith drugs during his illness, that he was
III far N Io,7o y.,,e ., Der Io ma. zreU