The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1866-12-13
FACETIE.
A'coy bei,e-a Pretty nilFpaid.,

AcoH Delle-a lretsS fuiif hia'u.
The coldest scat in an omnibus-the
one nearest the pole.
A man that marrics n widow is bound
to give up smoking. If she gives up
her weeds for him, he should give up
the weed for her. ......
Old Bach, an incurable old bachelor,
and who seemingly reioices in his in
trinity, describes marriage as. 80 female
despotism tempered by puddings."
A coachman, extolling the sagacity of
one of his horses, observed that " II
ANYBODY was to 90 for to use him i'll, he
would bear malice like Christian"
Gone hears immense deal about legal
tenders" said Lord Brougham, upon
ono occasion, . but upon my soul, /
never heard of anything IlegR yet, that
was not Internally hard instead of ten
der
Il wonder said Scotch maiden,
.'what my brother John sees in the las
scs. that he likes them sac weel; for my
part, | wad nae gle the company o ane
lad for twenty iasses.p 5<f;E one
Old lady ito hacliman)-"But these
hacks are dangerous. fuu never know
who rides in them. We might get the
small pox.r Coachy-"Iou've no cause
to be alcarl of my coach, mum, for Pvc
'ad the hind wheels waccinated, and 1t
took beautiful"
4 miscrly bailiil coming into the pos
session of haronctcy, and desiring an
appropriate coat OF arms" adopted one
representing Il tin plate, over which
was placed a fork, signifying Fork
over the TIM
A Jcggar well known in the neigh
borhood of the Church of the Madeleine,
Paris, addressed to friend of ours the
following irresistible appeal: Il am
poor, Monsieur. but am religious; !
want but one OF the saving virtues; L
have Faith, have Hope, it remains with
you to give me Charity"
A friend asked pretty little child of
six wears old, (which do you love best,
vour cat or your doll - The little girl
thought some time before answering,
and then whispered in the ear of the
oucstioncr, Il love my cat best, but
please don't tell my doll" ..,.... Pa.
A father of three sons and five
daughters. was asked what family he
had. The answer was, Il have three
sons, and they have each five sisters"
Mercy {" replied the interrogator, "sic
IA family ye maun have"
The following verdict was given in
writing by the foreman of = eoronerS
iury in England: 1--WE are of A Pinion
that the Dcccst met with his death from
Niolant Inflammation in the arm pro-
dust from sum Unoan GAUGE
A Toledo paper reports speech made
by a gentleman III that city, who had
lust been elected to an important office
in Il military company. The recipient
of hon0rs, being called ont for a speech,
mounted the rOStrum and said:
"My brave men. them who voted for
me, respect them; them who did not,
l disgust"
= Disg sawsa note lying on the ground,
but knew that it was counterfeit, and
walked on without picking it up. He
told Smithers the story, when the latter
said, "Do you know, Diggs, You have
committed very grave offence" why,
what have done ''You have passed
a counterfeit bill, knowing it to he
such.'
An Irishman addicted to telling
queer stories. says he saw man be-
headed with his hands tied behind him.,
who directly picked up his head and put
il on his shoulders iu the right place.
.Ha. ha, ham said a bystander, how
could he pick up his head when his
hands were tied behind him?' And
sure what a fool you are," said Pat.
.nnnlLn,t In nick IL LII with lis tccth y