Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1866-05-18

A Live Yankee in ,sSpiudle''
CitY,

"Tlie other day" "livc Yankee from
W cane to II city not thousand miles
from Lewiston III quest Of a wedding suit,
an / sauutercd into Messrs. - cloth
lug establishment to get himself cmhellisll-
ed. His name was Nehemiah NeWbe.iii,
and be WAS about to make a new beginning
in buying clothes us we'll as in keeping
house. Having selected coat vest. and
pants that seemed to be about right as OF
price, he tried the store man in the way to
barter, il this style:
.Dcw YOU ever t. he projucc for youl
clothing !"
Take WHAT -
"Proiucc- garden sass and sicA : don't
do it, dew vou -
Well, occasionally we do. What have
You To sell -
"oh, almost anything; little of every
thing, from marrowlat peas to rye straw !;
got the aliiliuest dried pnnRing yeon ev.
CT sot Your eve nn-'Xpcct meow you'd like
some ol that dried pupking, squire !"
The proprietor declined negotiating for
the dried pumpkin; but inquired ii he had
any good butter.
1t; u o-d butter! now. squire, expect
Eve got saIne Of the incest and Ncllcfest
you ever sot yonr eyes on. Got suiae cout
here noW-%ot some III shougcr h"N, cont
III dads wagon. Brought it down for Mis-
ter Sands, but veou can have 1t. II bring
it rite strate IN here, danicd Ct | don I. y.
On the strength of the hult,.r, Il dickcr
was speedily contracted, for which Nchc-
niial WAS put in immediate aud absolute
possession of Il coat, vest. and pants.
~.
ling to trust the coat and vest; indeed. he
could put them oil and on i'll a minute, an,l
they We're Us neat as wax. Where could
he try the pants on ! Not wight there IN
store, with the street door open, and W"-
men folks coming and going all the while.
Now it happened well that the now cloth
ng store had Il corner curiaucd oft for that
purpose, and Nehemiah was speedily clos
ed therein.
The pants had straps, aud the straps were
buttoncd. Nehemiah had seen straps he
fore, but the art OF managing them was Il
mystery. On consideration, he decided
that the boots must 20 on first. He then
mounted IA chair. elevated his pants at a
proper angle and cndcavorcd to coax his
legs into them, He had IL time oft. His
''''N N''' ii''N WI NV S'hNiNc'' t''' Wv
pants We're none of the widest; the chair.
too WAS rickctv, and bothered him; hut
bending his energy to the task, he succeed
ed in inducing one leg into the "pcsky
things He was straddlcd like the Col
ossus of Rhodes. and just in the act of rails
ing the other foot, when whispering and
gislin. in his immediate vicinity made him
alive to the appalling fact that nothing but
Il chin;z curtain separated him from twen-
ty u: thirty of the prctiiest and wickcdest
girls thai were cy, Gagged in one shop.
Nehemiah was bashiul youth. and
would have made circumbendlbus OF Il
mile any day rather than meet those girls,
even il he had been in full dress; as it was
his mouth was much alar at the bare pos
sibility OF making his appearance among
them i'll his present dlshabille What II
there was ii hole i'll the curtain What II
he should fall Ii wouldn't bear think
ing of; and plunging the foot into the va
cant leg With Il sort of frantic looscness, he
brought oil the very catastrophe he was ST
anxious to avoid. The chair collapsed
with sudden scrouch, pitching Nehemiah
heels over head through the curtain and he
made grand entrance among the stitch
ing divinities, on all four like Il fattcncd
rhnoecres.
Perhaps Collier himsclfnever exhibited
more striking tabtedu riraut than WAS
now displayed. Nehemiah was Il "model'
every inch of him, and though not exactly
revolving ON pedestal, he was going
through that movement quite as well ON
his feet kicking and plunging; in short,
pcrsonfying in thirty seconds all the atti-
tudcs ever chiseled AS for the girls they
screamed, of course. jumped upon chairs
and cutting boards, threw their hands over
their eycs-.perfectly natural-screamed
again, and declared they should dic--thcy
knew they should.
90, Lord" hlnbhered the distressed
Young man. "dont. gals, don't didn't
go tew, swan tew man didn't-it's all
OWN to these cussed trowsers every mite
ont. Ask your boss. He'll tell you how
it was. O, dear! Wont nobody kiver me
up with old clothes or turn the wood box
over mo OH Moses in the bulrushes =
What will Nancy say.
He managed to raise himself on his feet
and made bold plunge towards the door !;
but the entangling alliances trlpped him
up again, and he fell kcrslap upon the goose
Of the pressman. This was the unkindest
cut of all, The goose had been heated ex-
pressly for thick cloth seams, and the way
it sized in the seat of his new pants was
affecting to the wearer. Nehemiah riz in
an instant, and seizng the source of all his
troubles by the slack, he tore himself from
all save the straps and some fragments til; t
hung about his ankles, he dashed through
the "Emporum" at "a 40 rate and ''made
tracks. for hum.