The Van Buren press., 1866-03-31
The Great Saratoga Trunk.

Old Anthracite has very dear wife
so dear that she costs him on her own
private account about fifteen thousand q
year. Mrs. Anthracite always has the
latest fashions, SO when the great Sarato-
ga trunk was exhibited in Broadway,
Mrs. A. instantly purchased one for her
summer trip.
Every one knows that the great Sara
toga trunk is an unexceptionable trunk.
1t is collossal-of Titanic proportions.
Cheops, the builder of the great pyra
mid, might have found accommodation
for her entire house in the Saratoga trunk.
Accordingly down went Mrs. A. to the
great watering place with her great
trunk.
She hadnot been long there, however,
when old Anthracite received private
telegraph from friend to inform him
that Mrs A. was flirting desperately with
young Belzebub, the great soap boiler
Anthracite instantly takes the train, ar
rives at the hotel, and inquiring the num-
Der of his wife's room, quietly walks up
stairs. His wife's door is shut. Anthra-
cite knocks. Door opens after some dc
lay. Mrs. A. fiutters, which 1utter in
creases to dismay when sire sees her hus-
band. Husband enters coolly; explains
that he just came to see how she was
getting on, and seats himself on the Sar-
atoga trunk. Drops glove the picking
up of which enabled him to look under
the bed No one there. Mrs. A. look
ed as if some one ought to be there
Husband talks of the weather, and the
pair are sitting down to a little light con-
versation, when old Anthracite remarks
quietly:
"Mrs. A., there's a rat in your trunk"
Mrs. A. turns pale through her paint.
No, husband is mistaken. The rat is in
the wainscot. They are always there
those rats Husband is sure it is in the
trunk. He smells him; he will examine
Mrs. A., was very anxious he should not
He can't. The trunk is shut and she has
lost the key. Husband begs to contra.
dict. The key was in the lock-the lid
was open.
Husband, amid the protestations OF
Mrs A. half raised the lid. No crino.
line, no shawls, no lace, no furbelows, in
the great Saratoga trunk, Only young
Belzebub's glossy curls and killing nous
tache are visible. Mrs A. instantly faints
u privilege of her sex on such occa
sions. What does husband do? Shoots
young Belzebub? Not bit of it. II,
smiles grimly and shuts the lid down
locking the great Saratoga trunk HI
rings the bell tells the waiter to brin.
him gimlet. Bores a few holes through
the great trunk. Orders up the porte
and goes off to New York, accompanied
by the great Saratoga trunk. What woult
the trunk not have given for q cigar in {
baggage wagon, when it smelled tn,
smoke that was SO literally pufed about
The trunk, although nearly suffocated
thought it best to keep quiet
Arrived at New York, old Anthracite
told the people at the depot, loud enough
for the great Saratoga trunk to hear him
that he would leave his baggage at th
Office for few days, when he woulc
send for it.
This was. more than great trunk coul'
bear; SO it kicked, shouted, and made
noise until it was broken open, and to tn
surprise Of everybody, poor Belzebul
crawled out in Il limping condition. II
tried to tell the people that it was dom
for bet, but somehow the truth Leaked
out, and next summer predict that ther
will be fewer great Saratoga trunks a
the Springs. / think old Anthracite go
the best Of it; don't you?
A packing case maker asks what is tn