Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1866-08-18
HUDHGRGU
WIT AND HUH0g.


of carpenter.
Why is the letter Il like wedding
rim g?-Because it makes Mary marry.
Why are umbrellas like pancakes
Because they are seldom seen after
Lent.
Follow the fashion: you had bet
ter display other peoples follies than
your own.
Shut not up brood of evil passions
in your bosom; like enraged serpents,
they will bite their cage.
Many pride themselves upon being
wild young men, who are only wild
beasts.
-Impossibilities, like vicious dogs,
flee before him who is not afraid of
them.
Love is the seraph; and faith aud
hope are but the wings on which it
flies
When does an ~ 2. display most
physical strength ?-When he naOUes
The house.
Why is the gamut like a gambling
saloon because it's full of sharps
and flats.
Lord Chesterfield once remarked
that even Adam, the first man, knew
the value of politeness, and allowed
Eve to have the first bite at the apple.
"A Norwegian woman one hundred
and five years old, and seventy-eight
of her descendants are on their way to
Utah.
A brewer of Philadelphia has a
horse that has ignored water and taken
to porter. His ration is a pailful at
drink.
IN. G. Bishop, of Stamford, Conn,
has run away with a young and gay Wild
ow, carrying along all the household
valuabies excepting his wife.
III want u statue of myself, why
should | be foolish to present "A sculp-
tor with the marble for the work q An
swer: because if / did, he would be
sure to chisel me out of it.
A young lady, while bathing near
New London, the other day, had one of
her toes SO badly bitten by crab that it
will have to be amputated. SO sweet
morsel crabby would not readily re-
lease.
The Princess Mary, it is said, was
weighed a few days before her marriage,
when it was found that she represented
the substantial figure of eighteen stone
-252 pounds.
The fashionable and artistic people
of Paris are discussing the extravaganza
of a certain Madam de Palva. In her
elegant house Is a grand staircase, each
step composed of "a solid block of NAL
achite, and valued in itself at one hun
dred thousand dolloas.
In iowa, recently, two husbands,
traded wives, one giving the other
81, 500 to boot The citizens didn't like
that style, and drove the man who took
the ''boot" from the county, with his
new wife. The other couple yet remain.
"A gentleman on circuit, narrating
to Lord Norbury some extravagant feat
in sporting, mentioned that he had late
lY shot thirty-three hares before break
fast Thirty hares y exclaimed
NOrbury. BOUNDS, sir you must
have been firing at wig"
During a divorce case in New York,
husband crOss-examined his wife, and
got rap rs follows: He claimed that
she had expressed the wish, before wit
nesses, that he might die. She denied
the statement. WELL" sad he, IF
you had got your wish and / had died,
there would have been the devil to
pay" "NO," she answered, 81 think
the devil would have got his pay"
The Cleveland Herald says: When
thou Walkest Ont With We Confidence
man to See We Town and Another Con
gdence-man cometh Up to him With We
Little account which must be paid Up
on We Spot and thou art Asked to give
We fifty dolla bill Upon We thousand
DoIla Bosting Draft Thou Must say,
Certingly. have not We Amount how
ever In my Pocket but will procure 1T
little way Up We street. Then walk
Along conversing jovially With We Con-
fidence men Until Thou contest TO
convenient Stairway When thou must
say will Procure ye Money here. Will
ling To wait minute? And We Conf
dence Men will Bow Bow and Say Ger
tingly. Then after Smiling Pleasantly
Upon We Confidence Men walk Slowly
Up We Stairs until Thou CONTEST To We
Hall-Then Rush Like We Litening
Through We Hsll and Run Like we Devil
down we Back Stairs Into We Alley,
leaving We Confidence me TO Wonder,
what has becam of Thee.
An exhibition of remarkable cool
ness took place few days since, which
is not often seen or equalled. A gen.
tleman well known to the business
community of Pittsburgh and a lady
very prominent In society there, had
been acquainted for some time, and
their acquaintance had resulted In "A
mutual promise of marriage. But the
wedding had been postponed for various
reasons. and at last the friends of the
bride decided that it should come off on
a certain Wednesday. That evening
the brother of the lady waited on the
expected bridegroom and demanded if
he would marry her that evening. After
some parlying an affirmative answer
was obtained, and the brother left to
obtain clergyman. As soon as the
performance was over the husband took
his hat, stated that he had an engage
ment elsewhere babe the bride and the
company good evening, and has not
been heard of since.
"A fast young fellow in the stage
box of Paris theatre wrote this note
in pencil, and sent it by the box-opener
to a pretty tress, who, while playing,
had won his heart: ''Mademoiselle,
when one sees You, one loves you