The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1866-05-29
The s.SayIne.s,, or loan BIIIIngs.


The ssSayIngs- OF Josh Bminss.
The writer who calls himself JOSH
Billings, and whose book of Sayings
Carleton, of New York, has just pnb-
lished, uses a dialect and style ofspell-
ing which Is neither New England
Yankees nor the Southern corn crack
er's or sand hiller's, nor the western
backwoodsman's, but entirely of his
own contrivance. We do NOT think il
very happy and we onot know what
peculiar merit attaches to it, or is found
in it. But while Mr.. Billings needless
ly, as we think, and not funnily atall
disfgures the language, he has mort
wit than most of the writer's who deal
in wrong spelling can boast.
He is not Snowman, like Artemus
Ward, nor SO much of droll asthat
individual. He is a philosopher, in 8
humble way, and many of his "say-
ings,n which he christens variously
..Remarks." {" "Depozetions," "Affuri-
sims" and ''Noshin," have all the
piquancy of true homebred proverbs,
If these "sayings" are often very good
it must be confessed that the essays on
things in general, which also form part
ofthe book, are oftenest dull, and occa-
sionally a little coarse. "Josh Billings
seems to have a special aptitude for
coming, or rearranging proverbial say
ings; and quite number of those col
lected in this book are excellent. AS
for instance he remarks that: ~ 81
"The prinsipal difference between a
luxury and necessary is, the prise"
And again that I'm
t'Nise men don't expeck tn do away
with the Visissftudes ov life, they onla
expeck tew blunt the edge ov them"
He holds that
s.Gravity is very often mtstakin for
wisdum, but thare is as much differ as
thare is between glide board anu the
man who maid it"
Observe this shrewd comment:
"'Honesta is the best poltsy, but
don't take my mi wurd for it, trt it."
He gives a neat definition ofthe quail
tiles of a proverb:
hGinoWine proverbs are like good
kanbrick needles-short, sharp, and
shiny"
We quote a few more of Josh Bill
ings' sayings, to show the reader their
ga man running for of1iss put me in
mind of n dog that's lost-he smells ov
everybody he meets, and wags hisself
all over" 5fsa
'Moste ov the advise we reseave from
others IL not SO mutch an evidense OF
their affeckshun for us, as it Is an evi-
dence of their affeckshun for them
"If yu want tew git sure crop, and
a big yield for the seed, SOW wilde
oats"
"What man spends in this life, he
saves; what he don't git want ment for
him, and what he saves, he looses."
"When n teller gifts goin down hill,
it dus seem as tho everything had bin
CREASED for the okashun."
.sIf thare waz nothing but truth in
this world, fool would stand just as
good a chanse az Yize man.. ~
"Rize arly, work hard and late, live
on what you kant sell, give nothing
ava, and If you don't die ritch, and go
tu the devil, you ma sue me for dam
ages. N. B.@The above remarks are
not intended to be personal-n
ave are ap tu hate them who won't
take our advise, and despise them who
at is dredfnl eazy tew be phool-a
man kan be one and not know it."
"Real happiness don't consis so mutch
what he don't want"
i"sLarge bodys move slo,' this ere
proverb don't apply tn lies, for the big
ger tina ar the laster tha CO."
He says very prettily:
"Marrin for love ma be little risky,
but it is so honest that God kant help
but smile on it." frllIY3
And here is a cynical observation:
'sThare are CRATE multitude ov tndt-
vidualS who are like blind mules, anX.
ious enough 10 kick, but kant tell
WHARF," - ~
"It is highly important, when man
makes up his minde tew bekum a ras-
kali, that he shud examine hfsself
clnsly, and see If he amt better kon-
Here are two sayings, both true in
'I argy in this way, il man is right
he can't be too radilIAl, If he is rong he
kant be too conservatitf."
"There is 2 things in this life for
which we are never fully prepared, and
that is twins"
There are a great many more, as good
or better than those we have quoted.
We close our extracts with the. follow
ing reply to note from one of Mr.. Bill
ling's correspondents, Cora:
"c0rd:-Now you ask me tew much.
I kant Civ no sartin resippee tew make
a feller pop the question. Sum men are
awful slow on court; tina are ike olde
houn dogs, all, tina want is to be sure
tha are on the rite track, and don't
seem tew kare If tina don't never cum
up with the game. If was gal, and
one ov this kind ov dogs got after me,
1 wud hole rite off, and IL he didn't
commense tu dig me out at onst, I shud
kno he waz only hunting for fun"
TheAtlantle Te,esrnpn.