Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1866-07-24
Miscellaneous.

"A Connecticut deacon had very feeble
par OF oxen to very large load of wood. A
nelghbor asked him how he expected to get
SO large load to market with SC poor a team.
The deacon replied that he expected to have
some assistance from Divine Providence
His neighbor asked him whether it would not
be as well to dispense entirely with the oxen
and les providence draw the whole load.
An exchange says we were compelled to
refuse an offer of job printing the other day,
BY man Who innocently called to get some
postage stamps printed! He was quite dis
appointed because We could not do the work
he ''wanted 'em real bad to put on the let
ter when he writ to gal, and they cost too
darned much to buy of them post-ofice fell
lers."
An elderly gentleman being i'll, one of
his friends sent messenger with the usual
inquiry, which, however, he did not pro-
nounce with due emphasis. Il thank Won
to take my compliments, and ask how old Mr..
w. Is The messenger departed on his
errand, and speedily returned, saying, Hes
just sixty eight, sir
BE always at leisure to do a good action;
never make business an excuse for neglect.
ing Offices ofhumanity.
We see the complaint is pretty general
that board is extravagantly high throughout
the country; nevertheless editors constantly
get bored for nothing.
'-Loafer-Hello, old gander! why did
not the Lord give thee short neck like mine,
Ell? Quaker-Perchance thine was made
for stretching
Mr.. Jones' said Mrs. j. with an air Of
triumph, don't you think marriage is means
suppose anything is means of grace that
breaks down pride and leads to repentance
Riches do not often, confer much hap
piness. Heavy hearts frequently ride in
splendid equipages, whilst the pious laborcr
can return with sweet peace of mind and rest
Comfortably on his pillow-this is LIES
blessing.
-Bashfulness is more frequently connec-
Ted with good sense than we find assurance;
and lmpudcnce, on the other hand, is often
the effect of downright stupidity.
"A firm faith is the best theology; good
lie the best philosophy; a clear conscience the
pest law; honesty tie best policy: and tenn
Perance tt best physic.
Young man-Are you waiting for some
door to open into to broad and useful Futrre2
Don't wait. Select the door and PRIV it omen.
even though you get your fingers pinch.
A Parting Injunction decree in the
Divorce Court.-t'smch.
Why should turtle be pitied?- because
theirs is a hard case.
To what color does fogging change bows
complexion 1t-makes him yeyk-O!
Those who in business are themost sbarn
generally gst'the most blunt.
"A distinguished teacher defines genius
to be the power of making efforts.
s-Ifa man is ''steeped in poverty" won't
ittake all the strength out of him?
Ii you would avoid contempt-attempt.
The way to get rid of gray hair-pull it
-"Intelleotual measles" is new name
for poor poetry.
ease by the roofs.
When there is spanking breeze bad
children should be put out to take the air.
Why is petroleum dealer like an chi
cure?-Because. he lives on the fat of the
land.
A FEAST for historians-thc discovery at
town near Mount Ararat of 5000 Armenian |
manuscripts, hitherto unknown TO the literary
World.