The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1866-06-09
Love and Lo7ers.after tbe Engagement
By MRS. GEORGE WASHINGTON wYLLYs.

Z
Of the miIlennial nature when they become
engaged Alas an engagement is but the
first step in that long hand-in-hand Journey
where the strongest feet become weary, and
the braYest heart is too apt to become dis
heartened
And what comes next2 Why, you have
given yourself, body and soul, into the pos
session of half hundred busy gOssips who
Immediately set themselves at work to dis
cover your faults and her deficiencies, and
triumphantly adduce reasons innumerable
why you and she are the last persons in the
world to make each other happy. If you
ever, in the whole course Of your life, com
mitted fault, no matter how trivial or how
long ago, now is the time it viii be exhamed
I from the resting-place Of years and held up
as a witness against you If you ever said
rash or a foolish thing in an unguarded
moment, it will start out before you like the
invisible writing when exposed to the action
of heat In short, you viii be compelled to
run a figurative gauntlet, day by day and
week by week Do you ask why That is
lust the question that win have to remain
uns6lved until you can tell us why people
do not confine their attention to their own
special affairs, and why an engaged couple
are supposed to be everybody's business but
their own We only know that such is the
fact
From this tender interest Of the good-na-
tured world IN every body's confidential ar
rangements springs the very common mis-
take of keeping engagements secret up to
the very last moment OF all errors this is
the most shortsighted and absurd. If you
are ashamed Of your engagement, break it
( off; if you are afraid to take the cOnsequ
ces, own up frankly, and look at yourself In
your true Hght-that of a moral coward. Be
honest-be straightforward and open, both
In Justice to yourself and to the other party
concerned. Nobody ever yet gained any
thing by hiding the engagement ring under
a shallow tissue of deceit and lies Nor is
our language too strong for lie told by fair
| lips "iust for fun, Is as much lie as the
network Of treachery that covers the dark
est crime ever committed. We have no pa
tience with the counterfeit modesty that
shrinks from "having people know of an en-
gagement" A man has no business at all
with that bogus article; and for girl, it is
simply ridiculous. She can whirl through
crowded ballroom, literally supported in his
arms; she can 90 with him to theatre, opera,
and party, night after night; she can re-
ceive his attentions in the eyes of the whole
world; and, finally, she can walk up to the
altar with him before four or five hundred
! people specially invited to witness the cere-
| mony; but {" she wouldn't have any one know
too embarrassing
! Now where is the difference we should
| like to know? Youths and maidens that are
as easily embarrassed as all this, ought to
refrain entirely from contact with this wick
ed world and go into a convent at oncel
| "But people are so critical p Well, let
them criticise They have all of them been
! through this particular stage of life
/ themselYes-or else expect to; and what diff
ference does their idle comment make? If
you are honestly and truly In love, you won
! care if thev talk the ends of their tongues
off, We, for our part, know of no more
beautiful or exalted sight in all the earth
than two happy young lovers reading for the
| first time the hidden mysteries of each other s
hearts, clinging to each others companion
! ship with that strange sweet instinct where
in you see Gods hand so plainly, blending
soul and spirit into a union that transforms
even this dull, everyday existence into
heaven itself for a while Are we senti-
mental? Then Nature is sentimental, and
the Bible is sentimental, and all the world is
sentimental with US Would there were
more of sentiment!
| Do not be over-sensitive or hypercritical
because you are engaged. Shut your eyes
to the little faults from whose dominion we
are none of US exempt, and open your heart
wide to the noble qualities that first won
your love IF you put on a pair of specta-
cles with the deliberate intention of finding
errors and fOlies, it will go hard but that
your search twill be rewarded, and you viii
be made comfortably miserable. We can
offer no sympathy for such trouble as this
Men and women are not like houses that can
be altered and rebuilt, or garments that can
be made over If you take them, you must
take them just as they are, and it is for you
only to decide whether to take them or leave
them alone Don't let busybodies come tC
you to carp at the man or woman to whom
you are engaged Stop all such comment:
peremptOrily and at once. Let mischief
makers feel the weight of your honest in
dignation such intermeddling this puts
those who attempt it beyond the pale Of
common civility. What would you think o.
the man who says Of your newly purchased
house, to your very face, Il wouldn't have
bought such a tumble-down old shell as that
I'm surprised at your choice of location
depend upon it, you've got bad bargain !
Why, he would deserve to be turned out 0
doors on the instant And the woman whC
says, Well, poor thing / dare say yoI
think that new silk Is very fine, but it won
wear-it viii spot, and fray, and fade in tel
weeks it's a poor quality, and you paid
great price for it, and it don't become you
at that would you not consider her I'm
pertinence below the compliment of notice
How much more promptly shouldyou resen
criticism on the partner and companion 0
your future existence DON t tolerate 1t 70
an instant, if you expect any happiness Il
married life More engagements have bee
] broken Off-mOre hearts have been bhghte
more miserable old maids and sour oil
bachelors have dated their single blessednes
! from such interference as this than th
Lightning Calculator could estimate in hi
widest mathematical frenzy
And, girls let us whisper in your ear on
4 word of advice: Don't sew yourselves
s death because you are going to become Mrs
Somebody. Blessed is the man who goes
a furnishing-store and buys shirts, coats, an
cravats in one miscellaneous heap. He doe
/ not Law the foundations of dyspepsia, cor
u sumption, and spine disease to sweeten maj
ried life with Sensible fellow he take
things eoolly; and why can not you PARTIAL
emulate his example? Anybody would thin
from the beaten track our pretty JiaHce
d follow, that they expected, Immediately aftt
n the marriage ceremony, to emigrate to a de
$ ert island where drygoods stores were u