Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1866-03-21
Written for the Toledo Blade.
MIR. Nasty and the President.
CONFEDRIT X ROADS (which is in
the Stait of Kentucky
February Is 1876

OONFEbklT ROADS lWnlcn Is IN .
the Stait of Kentucky
February Is, 1866.
| hev had hopes Nv Androo Johnson
My Waitin sole hez bin centred onto him
for a year back. He wuz the Moses which
| spected wood lead the Democrisy out
Nv the desolate Egypt into which we hey
bin making bricks without straw, for five
long weary and dreary years. Oh how l
have yearned for johnson Oh how | hev
waited, day after day and week after
week, and month after month, for some
manifestation NV Dimocrisy, wich is sat
isfactory-suthin tangible-suthin that
Good take hold on.
Faith is the substance Nv things hoped
for and the evidence Nv things not seen,
wich is all right so fur ez religion ez con
berned, but Nv no account in politix. A
friend Nv mine who wuZ a monomaniack
on the subiick Nv faith. undertook to live
on it, under the insane belief that eff a
man had faith pork wuz Unnecessary
Wuz the experiment a success? Not any.
When he commenst the trial he weighed
200, in a week he wuz down to lbs, and
in fourteen days he slept in the valley
| hev bin Twin on faith for a year or
more, and l too am thin. Ny bones
show, light shines through mel am
faint and sick Oh for suthin that l can
see and feel? suthin solid.
Our Dimocratic newspapers are supper
tin Androo johnson. They claim that
his polisy is u polisy, that he is ourn
and we are hisn. They are singin hosan-
mas to him-at his every act they exclaim
halleloogy in korus. What is it all about ?
In what partikeler hez Androo johnson
showed himself to be a Dimocrat? In the
name Nv Dimocrasy let me ask "WHERE
is H OFFICES? ?" Who's got EN-? What is
the politikle coDvickskuns Nv the wretch
who is post master at the Corners, and
who only last mite refused in the most
heartless name to trust me for postage
stamps ? Who is the Collectors, the Asses
sors, ct settry ? Are they co~nstitooshun-
ell Dimokrats? Is Stanton and Seward
and Welles histed out NV the cabinet and
Vallandigum and Brite and Wood appin-
ted in their places? Not onct. Every
post master, every collector, every asses
sor, every officer, is a ablishinist, dyed
deeply in fast colors.
Faith without works is a weak institu-
tion-its like a whisky punch with the
whisky omitted, witch is a disgustin mix
| bCl Nv VIZ III hdICI III sugar.. hhd
1t to me, (who hev bin ready to accept
any position NV wich the salary wuz suffi-
Glen to maintain a individooal NV simple
habits, who is beheaded. 50 ez | don't
get a place? Androo johnson may cut
off ofishal heads ez dexterously and pro-
loosely ez he chooses, but my sole refuses
to thrill, when | Know that Ablishnists,
tho NV different stripe, will be appinted.
So long ez Dimocrats are kept out, what
care l who hez the places? Paul may
plant and Apollus water, but Nv what ac-
count is the plantin and waterin to me if
| don't get the increas? | take no de-
light in SIGH spectacles. Eff Androo John
son proposes to be a Dimokrat, eff he de-
sires the honest, hearty support of the
party, let him seal his faith with works.
l visited Washington for the express
purpose Nv seein the second Jackson. l
am a frank man, and l laid the matter
afore him without hesitation. / told him
that the Postmaster at the Corners wuz
opposin his policy and abooSin him con-
~tinually that it wuz a outrage hat men
holdin place under the Administration
should not sustain the Administration
In the name Nv Right l demanded a
change.
l sposed that to-wunst the position
would be offered to me, and after protes
tin a sufficient time that l did no. wish it
and would prefer the apintment of
some more worthy man, l should accept
it, and 90 home provided for three years.
Imagine my deep, my unutterable dis
gust, when he told me he would ~investi-
gate the matter, and probably would
make a change, PROVIDED HI COULD FIND
IN THE vICINITY SON ORIGINAL UNION
NAN WHO WOULD ACCEPT H PLACE
Then the iron entered my sole. Then
l felt that IN him we had no lot. nor part.
Our principles are Nv a very comprehen-
sive nature. We are willin to endorse
Androo Johnson or any other la We
will endorse his theories Nv R~econstruc-
ton, or any mans theories. We are elias
tic like Iniy Rubber. The boy who set a
hen on a hundred eggs acknowledged to
his maternal parent that she could not
kiyer EN-, but he remarked he wanted to
see the old thing spred herself. We
heV that spreadin capacity. We kin &C.
commodate the prejudices NV the people
Nv all the various localities. In Connec-
ticut we are singin John Browns body
lies a mouldrin in the grave, in a modrit.
~ lOuO SODoI anu supPOieiA AOOiAohhAoS
who voted for doin away with slavery in
the District of Columby and for the Con-
stitooshnuel Amendment. In Kentucky
we are hangin men Nv the John Brown
style, and mobbin all Nv the persuasion
Nv the Connecticut nominee. SIGH a va
riety Nv principle party Nv SIGH adap-
tibility kin hev but one great central idee
on wich there is no diversity Nv opinion,
and to which all other idees is subordi-
nate. That idee is Posi- OFFICE! and eff
Androo johnson could be got rite on that
question, we'd care not wat else he re-
quired Nv us.
We hev our arms around Androo-we
are huggin him to our puzzums, but he
hez left his baggage to hum. That bag
gage is wat we want and we shell fling him
off shortly, onless he changes his policy
in this respeck. He kin hev US on easy
terms-but he must furnish the ammu-
nishun with witch to fight his battles
Will he do it? That's the question a hun
dred hungry soles, who hankerin ever ez
l do, are daily askin.