The weekly Ottumwa courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1857-1872, 1866-05-31
THE UNHAPPY COUPLE.

We may be wrong, but somehow or
other when we hear couple "my dsaring
and my loving each other in society. we
cannot help thinking they lead a cat and
dog life at home. We have had this dom
onstrated so often, that it appears like
fixed fact in our mind. But whether this
honeymoon style OF address be genuine
or affected, we dislike to hear 1t very much.
Terms of such warm endearment should
be kept for the closet. There is enough of
! the animal to make it about as disgusting
and indecent rs the parading of bridal
chambers on steamb0ats and hotels, ana
we look upon the latter as the very acme
of indelicacy. .s.-"..
There was Mr.. and Mrs. stubbs that We
had the infelicity of knowing some years
company never existed. They were BILL
ing and cooling all the time.
"Lenora, my dovey, don't sit near the
window in the draught. T know yoa will
take cold. and then what will poor Lubby
! do?" -.st ...-..a.. ..... .a. s.....
Then she replies: as, -... DOB
"No danger, Lubby, dear, and the fresh
air is so delightful" ~-rE- s-..a-----s r
swell, then, let Lubby put this hsndker-
chief round oonr neck"
! "Thank you, love-" rs - ..#-
Darling Leonora! you know you must
take care of yourself for Lubby's sake;
for what is this glittering world but a dis
NAL tomb without you. Kiss me, dear p
| Many shuch scenes we have witnessed
between this happy couple. We wereyoung
then, and thought it real; and sighed to
think when it became our turn to wear the
band dofmatrimony, If we should be as hap
py as Mr.. Mrs. Stubs appeared to be.
| We have been rather rudely awakened
from the dream ofour youth, and have long
since discoverd that Mr.. and Mrs. Stubbs
were couple of hipocrites, WHO assumed
with their party dress, the garb in which
we have endeavored to portray them. We
were very much shocked the first time We
discovered the true condition of things be-
tween Mr.. and Mrs. stubhs.
We had been in the habit of calling In
upon the SIS sans ceremonie. One day af-
ter strolling round the garden, we went tn-
to the house and meeting no one, we walk
ed in the parlor and took our seat to look
over the ANNALS which lay upon the centre
tribe. We had scarcely been seated q
minute, when we were started by loud
and angry alteration in the next room.
The voices sounded very like those under
the government of Mr.. and Mrs. Stubbs.
but seemed so impossible that we felt in
clined to doubt the evidence of our own
senses, until names were given which no
longer left room to doubt. s.....-,. .. ..,.
ST don't care what you say, Mr.. Stubbs.
if I can't appear as other ladies do in COM
pany will not go out at all. have not 4
single dress fit to wear"
] "Mrs. s., you must put an end to your
extravrgance. 1t is not a month ago since
you run me to great expense for threa
new dresses and now you want another
You can't have one, madam"
"But WILL" .'.... ......
"But you shall not, madam" .. ..
"ButI say will; and when say it !
mean it,
| .sYou shan't."
J "I shall" ..-....... ...
"Tll be id if pay for it. You ought
to be ashamed-s married woman with
two children, no longer young, whose
beauty is on the CO." -...-a. .....
An hysteric scream followed this cruel
speech Of the irate Stubbs, which so star
tlod us that we let fall the book that We
had in our hand. The noise Of the book
falling and our suddenly starting up, APP
prised them that they had been heard.
There was loud whisper from one Of
the party:
| "There, now we've pretty expose; the
story will be told about, and we shall be
the laughing stock Of our acquaintence."
| swell, my darling, why did you not say
you were only joking In refusing me the
gown, and making believe that you were
angry with your Leonora."
81 thought, my angel, You knew mo
well enough to know that should refuse
| you nothing in earnest"
We had just got outside the parlor door
| in the hall, when we heard the door which
communicated with the sitting room and
parlor open, and a footstep like Stubbs'
enter the latter,
''There is nobody here, aadam!'
..Well, I don't say there was!'
Indeed! Well, madam, want to tell
you plainly, distinctly, emphatically, that
I'll be id if pay for new gown"
Such is the life of happy-unhappy
couples. True affection, devoted to sin
gle object, is timid and retiring. 1t never
seeks to display itself "before folks" and
when we see too open display, we always
think tits stimulation and treat it as cheat,
| Squibs from Prentice.
Two or three more seducers have beer
shot. Shoot them all as quick as possible.
Exchange may be scarce In the money
market and yet abundant between lovers.
| A church is a place where some people
take lodgings an hour or two once a week.
Obey the laws Of your being. Dou't
think to make yourself as strong rs an OK
by eating grass.
When the blossoms and leaves ofa wo-
mans beauty fall we discover her defects.
as we behold ravens nests In the trees In
| winter.
A Northern paper calls the Southern
people '.the DEVILS" That, we presume.
| is just because they live in . warm eli
mate.
Our Fenian friends seemed to have
good deal of fun for time, but their fun
went out like their funds.
Be charitable to personal deformity.
The most beautiful flowers spring fror.
the most unsightly dust.
Believe il to be the last Of all infamiea %
prefer your existence to your honor. CT.
for the sake of Life. to loose every induce
lment to live.