The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1866-03-03

ithonewall Schackson song all terway ?! |
-Ln Croose Wis., Democrat
JOSH BILLINGS ON SKATING.
Having herd mutch about skating.
,arks, and the CRATE amount ov health
nd muscle they WOE imparting tcw the
resent geuerashun at u site advance
rom fust cost, bought ti;ket auu
vent within the fence.
| found the ice in a very slippery
:ondishun, covering about akers ov
,rtyfshal water, which was owned by
stock company, and froze tew order.
Upon one side ov the pond waz erek-
ed little grosery buildings, where the
rellers (kivvered with blushes) hitched
the magic iron tew their feet
1t was a most existing scene; the
sun waz in the skey-the wind waz in
the air--and the birds ware in the
Southland the snow waz on the ground
and the ice lay shivering with a kold
--aud angels (ov both geuders) huktu
ated past me pro and con, 2 and fro,
here little and there a good deal.
1t was most exciting scene wan
ted tew holler Bully" or lay down aud
rool over.
But kept in, and asked with glory.
Health was pikturd on menny no.
bell brow.
Az the femail angels put out ov the
pond, side by side with the male angels,
it was the most powerful scene ever
stood behind.
The long red tape from their necks
swum in the breeze, and the featherz
in their Jockeys Aut tered in the breeze,
and other things 9ew much to mention)
futtered in the bMze.
| don't think i ever was more crazy
before in my life-on ice.
For 2 long hours stood and gazed
with dun excitement.
| felt like kanall hoss turned sud
denly Y out tew grass.
didn't kno how tew proceed.
Az one of the angels, more sudden
than awl the rest, cum fieng duwn the
trak, 3 lengths ahed of her male ANGEL
awl eyes were gorging with her heav.
enly bust OF speed she seemed tew have
cut luce from earth, and was bound
South, for the Cape Of Good Hope,
! when awl tew onst. with gCrgours Swoop
terrifick, down crumbling in a Impid
heap she went, with squeal terrific i
living lovely mass ov disastrous skirt
aud tapring ankle.
Awl gathered around the busted an.
CELL but 10 in mnnitt's space, htl
wings agm was pIumed, and evry teath
er was in ITS lawful phase; and on She
fed, laifing like wine thru its buteoui
blushes.
| had saw enuff-morc happynes,
than BELONGED to me-and as sloly
weuded back tew mi hum at the tavern
felt good
INCREDULlTY PERSONIFIED.
There is living on Martha's Vineyard
an old man who has never been off The
Island, and the extent of his knowledge
is bounded by the confines Of his home
He has been told of a war between tht
North and South, but as he has never
heard the din of battle, nor seen any
soldiers, he considered it a hoax. lie
is utterly unable to read, and is ignoran
to the last degree An excellent story
is told of his first and ouly day at school
, He was sent. and as the teacher wa
classifying the school he was called u
in turn aud iuterrogated as to his for
mer studies.
OF course he had to say that he hac
never been to school, and knew none o
his letters. The schco'nisness CAV
him a seat On one side until she had fin
ish the preliminary examination Of tn
rest of the scholars. She then cslle
: him to her and drew on the back boar,
the letter 4. told him what it was an,
wished him to remember how it look ed
He looked at it moment and then in
quired Che suffered y
"H-h,how do you know it's a ?"
The teacher replied that whcn sh
was a girl, she had been to school to al
old gentleman who told her 50.
The boy eyed the A for momen
, and then asked, H h,how did h
, know ?"
} This was almost a sumner, but tn
teacher suddenly recoilected that he ha,
told her that when boy he had beer
to shool to lady, who taught hin
that it was \.
The boy eyed the letter little longer
when he burst out with, "H.h-how di,
he know but she l,lied ?"
The teacher could not get over tn i
obstacle, and the poor boy was sent hom
, as incorrigible.
J A BAD Fix we'll, lasht night va
de yashash never vas. | thought to z
; down de hill to mine house, out N
sooner did | walk. de faster stand still
Tor de darkness was so tick | Good M
stir in mine boots, and de raiu-duude
! aud blixen In rIore'n tree minute
mine skin vas vet to mine close. Bu
alter one little while stopped quite