Columbia democrat and star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1867, 1866-09-12

DIV old deacon and his bald head, and as | got
sight of his new wife asleep in the sun on the
wood pile, surrounded by swarm of admir-
ing flies anxious to kiss her for her mother
but too polite to touch her opened lips, l
reverently thought-''old Cocky, it will be
wonder if the niger don't beat you and
plant you first as the next step stone,
We sheared the sheep. We were long at
it, for the deacon said shearing sheep on
hot day made him think he was caressing his
last WIFE
Then we sat under the fence, and while l
tied my shoe, could hear gurgle about the
deacon's mouth. thought it was his nose
preparing to blossom, but it was only cider
brandy.
And we sat there and talked till the noon
hour came. We settled our marriage mat
ters and | was to have Hexa if / could get
her. There was question about the dowry.
The deacon wanted me to pay the funeral
expenses OF his last wife not but he was glad
to get rid of her, but he found her more ex-
pensive after death than before. refused
to pay for such nonsense-he found that |
was in earnest and let up. If he hadn't af-
ter all I'd spent for Hexa in the way of time
and travel, I'd have gone for his red knob,
and he knew it.
By and by the old deacon fell asleep and
went in to comfort Hexa.
We had nice time. She was rapid talk
er / was a mere man of mud In compari-
son to her. She knew she was smart She
knew all other women were ignorant, for she
had been taught it. [ didn't love her for
her hate. She hated everything beyond her
eyeshot. She hated some parts of New Eng
land not because onions would mt grow there,
but because in some places there were great,
ugly Democrats there, and they kept increas
ing. But [ didn't want a woman to love me
only one who was intelligent, and so L
spanked her.
Our marriage day was fixed. Being an ig-
norant, Western laborer was forced to agree
to remain servant in that household ten
years, to get the hang Of their notions.
had to learn to use sickle instead OF
reaping machine-to use psalms instead of
melodies-to work for others instead of my
self 1t was all right for a while. But |
couldn't love the deacon's dusky wife. Did
not like her color And when l wanted to
hunt had to shoot straight up into the air
or down into the well for fear Of trespassing
And when | wanted to run and expand my
lungs, was plum against stone fence IN
| less than a minute If [ kissed Aexa on the
| Sabbath was fined for it. l was forced to
drink cider brandy or nothing. And l was
fed on onions till | sickened of them. On
ions are good for two or three hundred meals,
but for steady diet l like them not l tried
to love Hexa, but soon as she found l was
betrothed to her she put on airs. She made
me hew her wood, draw her water, find her
in food and pay extra for sewing on my shirt
| buttons, making neck ties and all such little
| jobs.
And l had to work hard all day carting
apples from other farms for Deacon Bright
water to grind up into apple cider to reddeI
his nose. And if | wanted a drink of cider
| had to pay for it from over work. And
had to work to fix up the little garden patch
to repair his old mill that WASH worth re-
pairs. As the old deacon grows old he grows
mean. As Hexa thinks she has got fellow
tight she just everlastingly goes for him. ]
am the best worker ever on the place
make the old farm-so called-valuable and
| it is for Hexa's interest to keep me. But
she hates me-s she is jealous of me-she
| don't try to make it pleasant for me she
quarrels with me and says | am nothing but
a great ugly brute-she scolds me till | could
! almost die-steals my trinkets, cuts up my
clothes for rag carpets and whenever she goes
| to n tea party she tells folks what amean cuss
| | am, and what sweet intelligent angel she
| is
Some day I'll quit on Hexa-we'n &c
| through that old cider brandy mill and leave
| for the West where | can see daylight with
out being obliged to look straight up, and
where I can find some one better natured, II
not so smart, to sew on buttons and make
neck ties. III work on-but keep getting
my little duds in shape, and some day be off
in earnest, and let the deacon sing his psalms
and let Hexo weed her onions. Thoughtful
ly thine, BRICK PoMERoY.
Strange Coincidence.