The Evansville journal., 1866-07-02

w nCLA OIlC AdSt4CS ucc4 10 HON6 me-
They would make me, such nice clothes;
They would make me nice morocco shoes,
And wipe my little nose.
And when the shades of evening came,
And sleep stole DER my brow, -
They said it s time to go to bed
But they never say it now -ts-4 FL 4
jenkins thus described the hang
ings of New York belle Z" She
wore an exquisite byphaIutin on her
head, while her train was. composed
of transparent fOl-de-r -rol, and her pet
ticoat of crambambuE founced with
three ply of A No. IT,
Two friends being in conversation
together, one asked the other, what
death he would wish TO die. The
answer was, 81 Let me die the deathSof
the righteous My boy, replied
number two. that you'll never do as
long as ye i've saws-,tzfaz s~v-
Hale AND HALF.-The present
Bishop of Amiens,a pious, facetious
man, was lately requested by a lady
for permission to wear rouge. The
lady's character was half cOquettish,
half devotional. Il can give you
perpassion8 tmadap, at0r 1eRe cheek
only.
LITERAL INTERPRETATIONS Ma y
said Nv nhehGHa ) | don't thiHk Solo--
Why, my dear?" said the astonished
ma. - Because he slept with his.
farthers ! and think if he had been
so very rich he would have had7aabed
OF his oEyIi*.s'4O T,nB @omsfT
|. Keep your eyes wide open before
marriage, half shut afterwards. 5-e-f r,5
He. who admits that he has a. secret
to keep has, by doing SO, revealed one
half Of it, and the other will soon
follow
What is the difference between a
church deacon and aragamufin p One
passes the sesser and the other sesses4
the passer. az9 1 sz-r
There are three umbrellas, said
little, Nell The hat is one-the
smallest; the umbrella is another, and
the sky is the third the greatest OF
them all, but also the leakiest. " h, 1sa-a
Asthe season of recipes is approach
ing, we give the following < How to
calumniate: If your enemy be man
of retired and studious habits, hint
that he is going mad. If you see him
alone at church or theatre, report that
he. is separated from his wife he can't
disprOve it, IF he drinks water in
public he may take stronger liquors at
home, If he walks straight In the
street, he may reel in the parlor. Who
can say?- .sizsazz..5 - i.s5 @ m
A traveller stopped at an inn to
breakfast, and having drunk cup of
Yhatwas given him, the servant asked,
What will you take, tea or cofee?"
THAT depends on circumstances, ? was
the=reply y..2ss f. what you. gaYe-me
last-was tea, / want, coffee ;sif 1t was
coffee, / want tea. [ want q change. Y
The late Judge p, of Con-
necticut, wasnot remarkable for quick
ness of apprehension. At certain.
time, Hon. r. W. Sherman was argu-
ing case before him, and In the
course of his remarks Mr.. s. made a
point which the Judge did not see.
Mr.. Sherman, l would thank you to
state the point so that / can under
stand you. ~ Bowing politely, Mr.. S.
replied In his blandest manner. Your
Honor is probably not aware of the
task yOuzareinnposing onsme.
A HAPPY WosadlANS.4" NJ :" What It are
you singpgfer?p said I to Mary Nal
| ODeV4 - al = e E} -
"Oh, 4 don't know, ma am, without
tits because my heart feels happy II
Happy, are you, Mary? Why, let
me see, you don't own a foot of land
in the world. !"
'tFut of land, is ft?n she cried with
a loud laugh. :. Och, what hand ye
be after joke. Why, sure, I've new
er a penny, let alonea fnt of land. -
% 7 our mother is dead?"
"God rist her soul, yis, /" replied
Mary with a touehof genuine pathos,
The Heavens be her bed ~.
Your brother is still a hard case, I
suppose?' ~ 49, Fessss
i" We may wei, I,say that. It's moth
ing but drink, drink, and bate his wife
the poor crayture.' .a-
You have to pay your sister 5,
Sure, the bit craytare! and she 5 a
good little girl, is Hinny, willin' to do
whatever [ axes her; / don't Crude
the moneythat goes for that.
And you haven't many fashionable
dresses, either
Fash 1riaBle, isIit? Oh, yes, T. put
a bit of sWhalebone in me skirt, and
me calico gown spreads as big as the
leddies. But then you say true; /
havnst but two gowns to me back, two
shoes to me fut, and wan bunnit bar
! rim me old hood. - = % = ''.2 =
.7t - -fEL sizsa sez-H.~ vsJ