The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1866-05-24
at once and Tor all, and that is by Civ.

" What! Of electricity" ?"
" No dcar-far more powerful than
that. You must 90 to that little brown
house over there, and be married"
"Oh, never; my father will kill
me-"
"Docs he ever break his word 2"
Il never knew him to"
AN right, He promised me that
if 1 should ever get into trouble he
would help me out"
"Did he, really? Then he will"
but it is necessary that we give HIM
the shock first Delay not, my darling
you shall never regret it,"
OF course she went.
Al I ask is that nobody'll sit on
me, for I'm cracked. Besides, I'm just
vanished, and not quite dry yet Do,
my dear, stand at the door and tell peo-
pie as they come in that [ cannot be sat
on, or in any way meddled with. I'm
so flimsily fastened together"
This was the speech that greeted DR..
Stag as he entered Mr.. hundy's parlor
with Minnie. Mrs. j. was in tears.
"Doctor, as soon as ever get home
I'll have that ridiculous man carried
directly to the hospital-indcod l will"
cried the poor woman. "Pvc borne it
long enough, and I'm completely worn
out"
"So am I, my DEAR" pipod up her
husband, Il expect I'm secondhand /;
shouldn't wonder in the least, my legs
feel SO shaky. Pray don't touch me.
Isn't one roller gone, my dear?"
"Rol)er gone--your wits are gone.
I wish I was a man. I'd vsrnish you in
such a way that you'd never want to be
a sofa again, or any piece Of furniture" ."
The doctor stood near, gravely consid.
cring.
MY dear, are you better as you are,
for l see in the last five minutes you
have come out washbowel and pitcher.
But isn't your nose a little cracked, or
DO I sec awry? I shouldn't wonder,
for my head is full of brass tacks.
think I've snuffed them up my nose,
It's worse than influenza
Was ever poor creature so afflicted 2
murmureG Mrs. Sofa--I mean Mrs.
Lundy.
Never, my love. protest that if l
could be anything else 1 would--but a
sofa | am, and poor one at that
At that moment the doctor sprang
| forward and planted himself upon the
PROSTATE body of Mr. Lundy.
Capital sofa this he said, keeping
his position in spite of his victims
struggles.
Get up--Tm cracking in six pieces
Good heavens! you'll ruin me-you'lI
break my back, Get up till I'm prop,
erly mended, for pity sake.
Upon my word, said the doctor
calmly, this piece of furniture acts as
if it was alive. 1t kicks and wriggle;
and makes me laugh at its antics. What
a ridiculous sofa"
Il tell you I'm seconi,hand:' CRIED
the hypochondriac more family than be
fore, for 1870 pounds, dead weight, was
no light infiction. I'm rass-tacked
-old-very old-full of cracks-onC
roller gone. O! pray don't lean you
weight on me-
The doctor lifted himself cautiously
The sofa gave one deep inspiration.
The doctor looked serious.
Are you sure you are a sofa ?
'Of course | am
'Then you are no longer Mr.. Lundy,
i am no longer Mr. Lundy.'
Can you keep a secret?'
Certainly can
do you know old Lundy's daugh
er ?
4 guess I do
Wont you let on to the old fellow
I tell you something?
Not if you say no.
'Well, I've just married her, She
my wife
''Off went the sofa like a gun
what You william =
Take care-you'll break . cried tn
doctor.
'You young rascal! ,
You old sofa
you desperate young thief!'
you ricketty old sofa, with you
head full of brass tacks, I tell you
cried the doctor, if you had not been
feather, and rooster, and q sofa, an
the cats know what,-you'd looked a
ter your daughter better than you have
But come, let's be friends, and than
me for curing you, You'll never be
hypochondraic again~-I'll take goo
care of that-for you see it's a mic
thing to have a medical adviser in tn
family. Besides, you promised m
once that If l was in trouble you'd hel
me through. Come, come, let's b
, quits.
, Il see I can't help myself said tn
old man gravely; but I tell you wha
| shall consider you thief until 20
are able to support your wife ia tn
style she is accustomed to-
1t is needless to add, that was II
| loct oF tho frouhla