The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-11-02
Misfellaueons.
IRISH BULLS.

One Of the richest specimens Of a real
Irish bull which has ever fallen under oul
notice was pcrpetated by the clever and
witty, but blnndering Irish knight, Sir
Richard Steele when inviting certain
English nobleman to visit him. 1" II sir"
said he, I" you ever come within mile Of
my house, I hope YOU s0iu stop tasrs"'
Another by tho same gentleman 10 well
worth recording. Being asked how he &C.
counted for his countrymen making 80
many bulls, he replied: i cannot tell, u
is not the effect OF tho climate. ] fancy, u
an Englishman ioas born in Ireland he would
make just as many" -.,.... IN
A rich bull Is recorded Of an Irishman
at cards. who, on inspecting the pool, found
II deficient: I" Here Is q shilling short, ," said
he: who put II IMP" t.--'n.s. e
This hull was actually perpetrated 20
also was the following: Two eminent
members Of the Irish bar. Doyle and YELL
veton, q,iarreled one day, 80 violently,
that fromlhard words they came to hard
blows Doyle the more powerful man OF
the two lat the fists, at least) knocked down
his antagonist twice, vehemently exclaim.
ing: You scoundrel, Ill make you be-
have yourself like gentleman" To
which Yelverton, rising replied with equal
indignation; sNo, sir never. defy you,
! defy you You could not do T."
Most Of our readers are familiar, no doubt,
with the gallant young Irishman. who de-
clared to his sweetheart that he was IN
such way about her he couldn't sleep at
night for draining Of her. A parallel In
stance tn this occurred in oir own hearing,
when poor fellow protested to "his girl"
in the bayfield,, that his two eyes hadn't
gone together all night for thinking about
her. "Vety likely they did not" replied
this sweet plague Of bis life, "for I see
your nose Is between them J"
The following was perpctrated by a
young Irish gentleman, who was exceed
ingly anxious to meet certain young Irish
lady at the house of common lady.iriend,
who had expressed her entire readiness (as
most ladies' wouldi under similar tempta'
tions) 10 perform the an,iable part Of daisy.
picker" TO the young couple.
But" said the poor fellow anxiously,
there is nothing in tho world SO embar-
rassing, you know, as to meet girl by np.
pontment. am sure under the circum-
stances. I I,rouldnf be mysel,-neither ico,ld
she! Suppose, my dear madam, you could
manage il SO as TO let us meet ut your house
some evening ,ciihod eiiher Of S being
aunre that The other ,pas present."
Still another pair Of lovers claim our at.
tention. The young lady, less illustrated
than her admirer, addressed him in these
terms; like you exceedingly, but ] can
not quit my home. am a widows only
darling, and no husband could equal my
parent in kindness" "She may be kind, I"
replied her wOoer enthusiastically, but
be my wife we will all live together, and
see if I don't beat your mother"
The next lrishman who comes under our
notice Is married, but not very happily.
Having entered into holy bonds at the
youthful age Of nineteen. he discovers that
Il is much easier to get the ceremony per.
formed than afterwards TO maintain nm es.
tablisl,mcnt Repenting him that he had
procured wife without the means Of sup
porting her. he declares that he will never
nlurry so young again if he lives to be the
age Of Methuselall.
The next sight we get into the cares and
troubles that married life Is heir to is through
the mild remonstrance Of Hiberninn Pat
erfamilias, who declares to his wife that he
really wishes the children could be kept in
the nursery while he Is at home, nl-
though" he considerably n'lds, "Itco,Ld
rot oej,t 10 their noise, J they ,ootld only
keep quiet"
We shall now proceed to Dublin, where
doubtless still resides that old beggur-wo-
man, who, whilst soliciting charity, de.
clarcd she was the mother Of Nx small
children and sick husband
We wonder was this lady my relation to
the poor lrishman who offered his only old
saucepan for sale {; his children gathering
round him inquired why hs did 30. All,
my hOneys,', said he, asure ! wouldn't
be afther partin' wild il if It was mt to get
some money to buy somcthin' to put in t."
II was in Dublin city that our good hu-
mored maid-of all.work, Molly, once related
to her young mistress q most marvellous
dream she had had the night before.
"Pooll, pooh :" cries tho latter at It's
conclusion; you must have been asleep,
Molly, when you dreamed such nonsense"
"lndeed, ! was not them" replies the
indignant Molly; 81 was JUST as wide
as am this minute"
An apprentice sailor.boy fell from the
" round.top" to the deck, stunned, but lit.
tie hurt. The captain exclaimed in sur
prise why, where did you come from ?"
"From the north Of ireland, yer honor;"
was the prompt reply, as the poor fellow
gathered himself up.
An Irish paper announced, not many
weeks since tho death Of a poor deaf man
called Gaff He had been run over by a
locomotive, aud, adds the paper. " he ro.
ceived similar injury this time last year !"
Another excellent bull Of the same kind
was pcrpetnted by coroner In the County
OF Limerick this spring. Being asked how
he could account for the fearful morality
last winter, he replied SO do not know:
there are great many people dying this
year who never died before"
To this we may add the story Of an Irish.
man that nearly died, according to his own
account, through the treatment Of his ply
sician, who, he declares drenched him so
with drugs during his illness, that no was
sek for q long tine qI1v he got ,oeA.