Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1866-06-09

-Thackerav tells of an Irish woman
begging aims of him, who, when she saw
him put his hand in his pocket, cried out,
"May the blessings of God follow you all
your life" but when he pulled oft his
snuff box, Immediately added" and never
ovelsake ye."
Rg A young lady went into Ger
tain book store for the purpose of rur-
chasing piece Of music entitled, a"
When sleep, dream of thee" but by
some of those ludicrous mistakes which
will sometimes happing il the best fam
lilies she astonished the young man by
inquiring if he had the music entitled
when | dream, sleep with theeP The
mistake brought a modest blush 10 the
cheek of the fair enquirer; ditto TO the
young gentleman.
"JEFF. why are you like the Ceder 2"
guys it up, Sam; can't tell you"
Case you stays green both summer
and winter"
/" ARE you skillful mechanic e. sob,
almost anything in my line "Can you
make devil? =" Certainly; just put up
your foot and | will split it in three sec
onds. | never saw child in my life that
needed so little alteration"
UNCLE John Morris was chronic
topper. One day. while returning from the
tavern, he found locomotion impossible,
and brought up in the corner of a worm
fence, where he remained standing. He
had been there only few minutes, when
the minister came along. "Uncle john
said he, =" where do you suppose you
will 60 when you come to die?" "If [
can't 90 any better than can now, [
shan't go anywhere" replied Uncle John.
4" WHAT do you take for cold p
said lady TO a sufferer. -Four pocket.
handkerchiefs a day, madam, was tie
prompt reply.
A YOUNG lady, intending to paint her
cheeks with rogue, put all the paint on
her nose, and did not discover her error
until she was requested to sigu ''the
pledge"
us anybody waiting on you?" said a
polite dry goods clerk TO girl from the
country Eyes, sir" said the bIushing
damsel, "that's my teller outside. He
wouldn't come in"
QUIIP, who has heretofore been liberal
in his. views; now believes there are two
things destined to be certainly lost-his
umbrella and the man who stole it.
@ Husband, 1 hope you have no
objections to my being weighed Ger,
tainly not, my dear, but why do you
ask the question: 'OnIy to see, love, if
you would let me have my way once
RE Married, in Williamson, Mass,
Mr., William Williams and Miss Lizzie
Williams. For particulars see small Bills.
BooT black boy to returned soldier;
BLACK your boots, sir make EN- shineP
Looking at his unpublished " gunboats'
in a contempatiye way, the war-worn
veteran said, "Well don't care if you
do-fall IN promptly though" The ur-
chin gazed a moment at the soldier, and
then, turning to comrade near by.
shouted out: 81 say Bill, lend US a hand,
won't yer? I've got an army contract
The wise and gifted Josh Billings
tenders to ali whom it may concern the
following excellent advice
Don't court for mummy, nor bhtv, nor
relashuns, those things are just about rs
the kerosene lie refnin biz hess-liab!c
to get out of repair, and burst at any min~
nit. Court n gal fur fun, fur the love
you bare her, fur the virchu and Dizziness
there is in her; court her fur wife or fur
mother; court her as you would farm,
fur the site and perfection of title; court
her as tho she wasn't fule and you m
other: cort her in the kitchen; over the
wash-tub, and at the palmer; court her
in this way. Young man, and If YOU DON
git wife the fault won't be 10 tue court
H."
There is something exquisite in or
countryman's reply to the European trav-
eller, when he asked him whether he had
Just crossed the Alps: Wal, now you
call my attention to the fact, | guess |
did pass risin' ground"
The right man in the right pIace-A
husband at home in the evening.
A Mothers Grave.-Earh has some
sacred spots where we feel like loosening
the shoes from our feet. and treading
with holy reverence, where common
words of pleasure IRE uniting: paces
where friendships have fingered in each
other, where vows have been plighted.
prayers offered, and tears OF parting
she'd. How the tho'ts hover around
such places, and travel back through in
measurable space to visit them. But Of
all The spots on the green earth, none is
so sacred as that where rest, waiting the
resurrection, those we once loved and
cherished. Hence in all ages, the better
/ portion of mankind lave chosen The
spots where they have loved to wander
at even tide, and wander alone. But,
among charrel- houses of the dead. il
there is one spot more sacred than the
rest, it is . mothers grave. There sleeps
the mother of our infancy-she whose
heart was a stranger to every other feel
ing bat love, and who eonld always find
excuses for MS when we could find none
for ourselves. There she sleeps. and We
love the very earth for her sake,