The weekly Butte record. [volume] (Oroville [Calif.]) 1866-1887, 1866-09-29
Madame Scandal.

Madame Scandal.
A long time ago. in the western part Of England
there lived An aged couple whose time had passed
away since early youth, IN the every day round o!
farm life. and who had never been known to have
the least III feeling towards each other since the
rood old time when old Parson Heliot had united
them in the holy bonds OF wedlock Is wears before
30 well was the fact Of their conjugal happiness
known, that they were spoken Of far and near as
the happiest pair in England. Now the Devil lex
cuse the abrupt mention Of his namel had been
trying for 20 years TO create what is called fuss
In the family" between these old companions but
much TO his modification, he had not been able to
induce the old gentleman to grumble about break
last being too late the old woman to give single
curtain lecture.
After repeated efforts the Devil become discour-
aged, ana had he not been person Of great deter
mination he doubtless would have given the work
up IN despair. One day as he walked along in a
very surely mood, after another attempt to get TIE
old lady to quarrel about the pigs getting into the
yard. be met an old lady, neghbor of the aged
couple As Mr. Devil and the neighbor were very
and chat little.
GOOD morning, SIR said she. land prav what
on earth makes you look so bad this morning? Isn't
the controversy between the churches doing good
service?''
yes"
Isn't Deacon W. making plenty of bad whisky?'
We'll. what is the matter ms highly honored
master?'
Everything is going on well enough, y replied
the Devil, but (aad he looked as sour as mon
key on crab apple tree) "old Blueford and his
wife over here are iniuring the cause terribly by
their Gao example and after trying for four years
to induce them to do right, l must say consider
them hopeless
The old nag stood for moment in deep thought
Are you sure you have tried every way?r
every way can think Of
" AR. you certain?''
"Wen," replied she, "if you will promise to
make me present of new pair of shoes in case
succeed, will make the attempt myself and see
If can raise quarrel between themn
To this reasonable request the Devil gladly assem-
ted. The old bag went her way to old Mrs. Blue
fords house, and found Mrs. Blueford busilv en-.
gagged in getting things ready for her husbands
comfort on his return from work. After the usual
compliment s had passed, the following dialogue
well, friend B., you and Mr.. E. have lived along
time together"
Five and twenty years, come November re-
And all this time you have never had quarrel!''
"Not one.
II am truly glad to hear it, replied the nag; ~
consider it my duty to warn you, though his is the
case, you mnst not expect it to be always Have
you not observed that of late Mr.. B. has been
peevish and sullen at times?"
"a very little 500 observed Mrs. B.
81 knewit." continued the bag; "and let me warn
you TO be on your guard
Mrs B. did think she had better do so, and asked
advice as to how she should manage the case
Have you not noticed said the bag, THAT you
husband has bunch of long, harsh hair growing
under his chin on the side of his throat q? ~
"Yesn
These are the cause of the trouble, and as long
as they remain you had better look out Now as
friend, would advise you to cut them off the
first time you get good chance and thus end the
trouble and as long they remain, you had better
look OUT
Soon after this, the bag started for home and
made IT convenient to meet Mr.. B. on way Much
the same talk in relation to his domestic happiness
passed between him and the old woman
But, friend Bluford'' said She IL think il nv
duty to tell you TO be upon your guard, for tell
you, your wife intends your ruin"
Old Mr.. B. was very much astonished vet he
could not wholly discredit her words. When he
reached home he threw himself the bed with per.
piexity, and fegning himself asleep studied the
matter over in his mind. His wife thinking this
good opportunity for cutting off the obnoxious hair
TOOK her husbands razor and crept softly to his
side Now, the lady was much frightened at hold
razor so close to her husbands neck and her
hand was not so steady it once was SO between
the TWO she went to work very awkwardy and pull
ed the hairs, instead of cutting them Off B. open
ed his eyes, and there stood his wife with razor
at his throat. After what had been told him and
seeing this he could not doubt but that she intended
to murder him. He sprang from the bed in horror.
ana no explanation or entreaty could convince him
So from that time there was jaw quarreling
and wrangling all the time
With delight the Devil heard of the faithful ennis
sary, and sent her word if she would meet him at
the end OF the lane at a certain time he would pay
her the shoes.
At the appointed time she repaired to the spot
and found the Devil at the place. He put the shoes
on pole, and standing tho opposite side of the
fence. handed them over to her. She much
pleased with them-they were precisely the article.
g But there is thing Mr.. Devil | would like
to have explained this is, why you hand them to
me on a stick p
Very easy to explain replied he. "any one who
has the cunning and meanness to do as you have
done. don't get nearer than twenty feet to me-
So saying he fled in terror.
After a while the old woman died and when she
applied for admttance to the lower region the Devil
would not let her in, for fear she might dethrone
him, as she was so much his superior. So the old
woman is yet condemned 10 wander through the
world creating quarrels and strife in peaceful fam
lilies and neighborhoods.
Would you know her name,
1t is Madame Scandal When she died the Young
scandals were left orphans, but the Devil in con
sideraton OF past services done by the mother
adopted them aud you see be is father to that
respectable class called scandal mongers.
Reader, don't you know some of the family