The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1866-07-26

She Looked, assure you, exceedingly blue,
And fretuy cried, YOU'RE Jew-you're O Jew
A very judlclous advlserP
"Again, when IL happened that wishing TO shirk
Some rather unpleasant and lrouOUs work,
begged her to 90 to a neighoOr,
She wanted TO know why made such fuss,
And saucy said, You're a cus-cus--cus-
You were always accustomed TO laborP
''Out of temper at last with the Insolent dame,
And feelng that madam was greatly to blame
To scold me instesd of caressinR,
mimicked her speech-hke a churl as am
And an0rily said, You're dam-dam-dam-
A damage instead OF a b. .essingp"
A clergyman was once narratng circum-
stance to friend, when the latter remarked
That's a confounded he-kely story" The
gentleman at first started, but recovng himself
requested his friend to place his syllables nearer
together. man in company lately mentioned
as a matter of news, that a lady friend IN the
| country had the day before hung herself to a
| limb (sensation) OF the law. An ardent youth
| took the hand OF a charming girl in his own,
| and said, "My dear Ellen, have long wished
| for this sweet opportunity, and | hardly dare
| trust myself now to speak the deep emotions of
my palpItating heart; but / declare to you,
my dearest Ellen, that-I love you most ten
| derly; your smiles would shed-woud she'd"
| "Never mind the woodshed," said Ellen, Ego
on with that pretty talk" 1t is related
| somewhere that a certain kinS, once upon
| a time, sent to another king, 'Send me
blue pig with black tail, or else" The
other, in great anger replied, II have not got
one, out if had" Upon this they went to war
| exhausted, and tnelr Kingdoms laid waste, they
| referred their quarTels to Diplomacy. "What
did you mean, said the second king to the first,
Sy saying, Sena Ms %S, blue pug with black
meant a blue pig with black tail, or else some
| other color. But" he continued, "what could
You mean by saying, i have not got one, but it
| ! had" "Why, of course, If | had | should
| send it.n The peace was concluded.
Similar misapprehensons often occur to per-
sons listening to church music, as for instance
| in the lines:.-
| "Send down man
Send DOWN man
Send down mansion from the Skies"
The enmciation in singing is generally so in.
distinct that il is impossible to follow the words
person listening to a song at u private party
| says he heard the followlng:-
"The v'-waves-beside
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
From-smng-bOwers
love-break. .day-mark
The-trembe-dark
But, oh-for-to be
With thee mine own Oelo we'd, with thee!
Two gipsy maids are we."
In case the words of a song were not all re-
membered, 1t has been suggested that the spaces
might be filled after the following manner
"oh, # had lumty tum tumty tuna too,
In the land of the olive and tig,
would sing of the lumty tum tumty to You,
And play on the thingumv jig"
Or in case that is too great an effort for the
memory, as follows:-
'Dumt1 uuH1Iy uunIy lOVeJ
Dumty dIddy heart,
Dumty dumty dumty prove
Dumty dlddy part"
The hearer would generally know as much of
the song whether these words or the proper
ones were used. A person attending church
| took down hymn as he heard it, and alter
wards referred TO the hymn-book tor transla-
| ton, with the following RESULT
WHAT HE HEARD.
| "Waw-kaw, swaw daw aw raw,
Thaw saw thaw law aw waw,
Waw-kaw taw thaw raw vaw waw Draw,
Aw'thaw, raw.jaw saw aw."
THE TRANSLATION.
| "welcome sweet day OF rest
| That saw the Lord arise;
Welcome to this IevivIng breast,
Ana these rejoicing eyes,"
| The Rev. +. w. Shelton, speaking of the exc.
cution OF difficult, pieces by amateur choir,
\ the following stanza is sung:-
| True love is like that precious OIL
Which, poured on AaLon's head.
Ran down his beard and O'er his robes
| Its costly moisture she'd"
In the prodigious effort of this performance,
| the ear-splittlng combination OF the several
| voices hardly bore resemblance to that oily
current poured on Aaron's beard, which
"Ran down his beard, and DER his head
| Ran down his beard-
And O'er his roles
| Ran down his beard-ran down his
-O'er his robes
| His robes, his rObes-ran down his beard
Ran doWn lis
| Ran down his beard -
| -h-i-s b e.a-r.d--
| Its costly moist
| Ran down his beard
| " OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES beard-his-shed
| Ran down his beard-his-down-
| his roDes--lts costly moist-his beard
| -ure she'd his cost-his-rObes-ure shed
| Its COSTLY moisture-shed?
Bishop Seabury, being asked his opinion of
| this performance, replied that he paid no atten-
| tion to the music; but that this sympathies we're
| much excited for poor Aaron, as he was afraid
he would not hair lett. 1t might be added,
that he would have to insure his shed at extra
| hazardous rate.
| The following is said to be the proper way of
| singing you'll Remember Me:"-
| when other lips and o, o. o-other hearts
| 1heir tales of love shall tell, ...
In language which winch which W hitch lmparts
| The power ii feels so well,
| There may per-peT-haps
| Some re're-coi election be,
Some re- co le-her-her her lection be,
| OF days that might as har.bar- -har-arppY bin,
| And you'll re me-e-e ember me!
| And you'll remember
| Yod'll Te-me-e-e e-e-em.be-e-er me-"
| Many persons in moments of hurry or excite
| ment make queer transformations of letters or
| syllables. 1t is reported that very nervous
| gentleman once announced steamboat eXplo-
| sion to the Connecticut Legislature as iollows:-
| "Spister Meeker and ledges OF the membrisla-
| ture, the Elver ellsworth has billed her busterl"
| A very earnest clergyman once eXhorted his
| audience in the following Words:-'Why will
| you, my hearers, oh, why will you give up your
| birthright for pot of message N
| Somewhat on this principle, but transposing
| ideas and words rather than sylables, certain
aufuN fal