The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1866-12-19


ing experiences, but we think he win receive
the sympathy of our readers:
For the benefit Of numerous class OF am.
bilious men who desire to become popular
lecturers, send you few items Of nv ex-
perience | went to Southern Illinois 10 get
started as popular lecturer. was adver-
tised under the nom de plume of the " Fat
Contributor. Ny audience was small, ow-
ing to the public being suddenly and severely
indisposed They were indisposed to come
10 the lecture. Ny audience, in fact, consist
ed Of but one people. He was gentleman.
began my discourse aGentlemen and Ia.
dies but changed it quickly to " Respected
sir' Before | could proceed any further
my audience arose to his feet as ona man.
inquired the cause Of the interruption.
Sir said he, +" the audience Is disap-
pointed in the size Of the lecturer.
swell. my dear sir, said |, "the lectu-
rsr is also disappointed in the size Of his su-
dience, and if you will not say apythi about
it will not
He allowed me to proceed, and, al the con-
clusion, WAS so well pleased that he urted
me to stay another night, when he promised
me much larger audience. He WOULDN'T
come himself, but would send his Wife, who
weighed 265 pounds didn't stay.
have had good deal Of money in the
house ut one time and another, GENERALLY in
thd pockets of some wealthy man id the au-
dience. | always come home with money,
however, borrow q little to come home
with.
| have had some large houses. The largest
house had was at Louisville, KY That
house must have been two hundred feet long
and ninety feet wide. while in height it come
pretty high-took all the proceeds to psy the
rent. A Louisville editor said a gold thing
about me. lie said The Fat Contt bu,or'
lectured last night to small house. His
style resembles Artemus Ward s, but he has
not the ease and grace of Aremus before the
audience.
As though lecturer could be at ease be.
fore an audience when the audience didn't
pay expenses. As grace accompanies meat,
and if there wasn't profit enough in the house
to buy meat, where's my grace2
The fullest house ever had was at Pit
Hole City. in the oil regions. Every man
was full of beer. The lecture went off very
well, notwithstanding 1t didn't 90 off as
well as my door-keeper did-he wen, off with
the receipts
gave two consecutive lectures a, OIL City.
At the conclusion of the second lecture, one
Of the first citizens, (the second edition had
not yet arrived arose and assured me that
had delighted them greatly. He said they
had net enjoyed themselves so much since
the Thayers were hung. He added that ii
was the request of the audience, en- ma,se--
there were five en- n,asse, al,ogether-that
should stay another night. The landlord Of
the inn where was stopping arose somewhat
hastily, and stated that | could not siay an
other night with him unless my bill was guar
anteed. Such is oftentimes the encourage
ment which genius receives at the hands OF
the mercenary.
4 little town on the Allegheny turned out
! we'll The principal occupation of the inhab>
itants was to haul OIL This being the only
hall they had, lectured in the grocery shop
| The people turned out the lights then they
turned out the lecturer because he was not
fat enough. They gave me twenty minutes
to leave the town. told them If they d
make it twenty dollars I'd go
| At the termination of the twenty minutes
! felt something come up against me from be
| hind Ny first impression was that it was all
old>iashioned leather valise. Subsequent re-
! Fiction convinced me it was boot | shook
hands with them all with much feeling. |
! told them they must excuse me, for | felt !
| had to so. Leaving somewhat hastily.
caught the sound Of cherub voices in the pro>
| Gerry shop. singing in tones Of the pathetic
| inquiry