The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1866-10-31
THE DoG GONDEsy DOG.


there goes The cussedest and wussedest
piece of excitable canine we ever saw i
Four years ago, the day after chap on
the cars had the upper end Of his snat,
punched for calling us traitor, Po Hatch
q gave us that batch Of red and brindle
dog. then done up smalllike but looking e
bull dogish that we we're afraid Of his pic,
ture for q week! Po. said he was an AL
ALBANIA bull dog imported from New Jer
sey in q basket, as a sample of the hand
some Of that country. But be was q
pretty purp. His tail vas no longer than
a wicked mans prayer, and was full a'
stunning And those ears They looked
| like small corner of plug TOBACCO And
such eyes And such eyebrows When
be wns child, so.called, some monster
must have slung him head first against Q
stote wall, for his eyelids looked like Ben
Buffers, sort'o shamed Of something l.
His jaws were pretty jaws! They Fere
SO severe in their angles-there was SC
nuch ja,o in proportion to the purp, thai
We wanted to cali him Swisshem, but he
want that kind Of petl But he was
nigh onto all jaws!
We kept him four weeks in the sane
tum. and all that time hired a nigger to
watch him. He'd steal-ste1l is no name
for it So we concluded to call him
John Brown. And he kept that niggel
mighty busy watching him, till at last
the niger being such amart, mimicky,
objectionable cuss, got SO much worse
than the dog, that we kept the dog to
watch the nipgerl Egad, yap't it full
team !? Strange how niggers will learn
things
And he was the hungriest dog we eve,
cav /! A penny worth Of beef didn't last
him as long as len dollar bill would a
Democrat the light before election. He
had fDe VOICE Tor beef. And what the
dog would not eat The niger would !
And The dog grew large and pondcrous
about the jaws. He used to eat paper,
books, mats, vests, old hats, gloves, pat
cnt leather boots, window curtains and
sieh lie ate such stuff for dessert. That
dog ate "a full calf bound set Of Harper
Weekly one day, just on account of the
calf And be ate ten copies Of the Chi
cOgo Tribune one day, but the lie in
them papers made bip so dog goned sick
all that week that he would have died il
the Ligger in 'em hadn't epeticsd 'em
out, and SO he got we'll But he never
piDtd himself to shadow hapkering af.
ter republican newspapers any more. And
he kept on stealing. We always thought
thtm republican newspapers aided the
development of that complaint, for be
was sure to steal all the niger earned for
us.
He'd walk out on a rainy day for his
health, and always came back with some.
thing he'd found, Once it was ladies
veil Then it was half ham with q
butcher knife sticking in It. What he
wanted to bring the kuife with him for is
more than we know, unless he had TO
cut and runl One day he came in with
a buby's cradle. There was somo blood
on the edge Of it, and all that afternoon
the bell.man was out ringing bell and
yelling "boy last !" John Brown didn't
90 out for two or three doysl Once he
came with wooden leg in bis teetb.--
That night wooden legged soldier was
missing but as crippled soldiers were Of
no account, he didn't try to keep shy a
bit. He brought us the leg no doubt
thinking it the kind of club we Ike.
And he used to steal money He'd go
into asiore and snatch grcenbacks out of
a cash drawer just as handy One day be
came 10 with contribution box he'd sto.
len from the entry way of close com
muniop church He carried it behind
the end of the side board, broke it open
-and looked sichI John Broyo never
stole contribution b < again. and after
that, when we'd point to that oox and
smile he'l drop bis tail, what there was
Of it, and look Just as Ben. Butler does
when having his picture taken And he'd
steal halters, brides, saddles and such
stuff And as be grew older he'd actual
ly unhitch horse and lead him across
the line to Minnesota. When any one
would call ont "John Brown" he'd 60
for q horse sure! Apd 40 we bad to
change his name, What to call the cuss
we didn't know. But as he had chawed
up SO many books, and was always med
ding with what was none OF his business,
and grew to be sort OF dogmatlc, and rad
ical about his bloody jaws we lett oH call.
ing him John Brown, and called him
Charles sumner For awhile he seemed
to like it. He was an Az ambitious dorg and
to Keep his name good. meddled g with so