davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-03-06
An Unlucky Dutchman.

Brick" Pomeroy, OF the La crosse Ws)
Democrat, gets off the following:
Hillficker Snicksnacker, a TeItonic VEN
der of sour-krout, wooden combs, crude Dab
bsge, striped mittsns, cotton suspendsrs and
such ''liddle dings," with true patriotic zeal,
left his home in La Crosse at the commence
ment of the war; and enlisted as slop gro
gerry keeper behind the suffers tent on the
Potomac. When he went away it was with
the intention of making some ''monish," and
nobly did he fight it out on his line. How
he done it is best told as he told it to us on
his return, last week
'.You see, Mr.. Bumroy, der trum beats,
und der call coomes to 60 to wars NIT arms.
lse be patriotic SO much as Sheneral Wash
burn, or Sheneral Curtiss, or Sheneral Bangs,
or any of dem Shenerals what lives to come
home great men. So L puys some liddie
dings, and gets some papers from der War
Commiddee and goes init der boys ter patri-
| its and sells some fiddle dings and make
some monish. Und one day poke my win
dow out under my head to hear ter serenade,
and dink something; when l see Sthohnwall
| Shackson NIT his troops und der pig brass
| band coming down der street playing like
! der tyful on der brass band,
| ssWho's pin here sinch I'sh pin gone.''
| Dat Sthohnwall Shackson is der tyfl mi,
|
ket und mine fiddle bapers in mine bag und
goes 30 quick ash never was to Gettysburg
| Und dare [ opens some more sthore und sell:
some more fiddle dings. IND one day hear
men I'm der horseback riding down der stree,
| like dunder, und pokes der window under
| mine head urd looks myself up der sthreet
und der coomes dat tyfl, Sheneral Sthohn
wall Shackson, playing dat same older tune
as heard petors,
s'Who's pin here since I'sh pin gone"
Den | makes mine monish goomes inter
mine booklets, und make Esine bag COON intel
| mine bapers, and butts mine sign on ter pig
| sthore on der corner, so loses more goods al
l had not got, und drinks | 60 to Wisconsin II
see mine vrow as | hsint seen in desc two
years, so long time ash never wash.
| Dens / goomes home, und knocks on del
door, and mine vrow she makes talk und tel
me. ''whose dare ?"
Den say, "Hillficker Snicksnacker, FUND
she knows dat ish mine name, und she maker
herself goomes out of der house, Und gives
me nine, seven times kiss on my face, so goo
ash never wash.
Den, Mr. Bumroy, looks init mine eyes
und / secs some dingsi Und so | ask mine
vrow if she pin married sinsh l go off to be
patriot. und If she be no married, why sht
make SO much grow, when | be gone NIT de-
wars? Und | gets mad as der tyhl, und del
/ links of det tam Sheneral Sthohnwal
Shackson und his pig brass band, und
sings
''Who's pin here since I'sh pin gone
I IND now, Mr.. Bumroy, somepody make
trouble NIT me, for psh pin gone two years
und know some dings, und l goes pack nil
der war und | sings tat dam Sthohnwal
Shackson song:
''Who's pin here since FISH pin gone"
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-03-06
From HALLS Journal of Health.
Popular Fallacies.

That warm air must be impure, and that,
consequently, it is hurtful to sleep, in q COM
paratively warm room. A warm room is as
easily ventilated as D cool one. The warm
air4of a close vehicle is less injurious, be it
ever so foul, from orowding. than to ride and
sit still and feel uncomtortably cold for an
hour. The worst that can happen from a
crowded conveyance is fain,IDg spell /;
while, sitting even less than an hour in a
still, chilly atmosphere, has induced attacks
of pneumonia, that is, Inflammation of the
lungs, which often prove fatal in three or
four days. 1t is always positively injurious
to sleep In close room where water freezes,
because such q degree of cold causes the me-
gatively poisonous carbonic acid gas of a
sleeping room to settle near the floor, where
it is breathed and rebreathed By the sleeper,
and is capable of producing typhoid fever in
few hours. Hence, there Ia no advantage,
and always Hanger, especially 60 weakly per
sons, In sleeping in an atmosphere colder
than the freezing point.
That 1t is necessary to the proper and eff
Client ventilation of a room, even in warm
weather. that q window or door should be left
open this is always hazardous to the sick
and convalescent. Quite as safe plan of
ventilation, and as efficient, is to keep lamp
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-03-06
More Truth than Caricature.

There is caricature in private circulation
which the Richmond Times thinks worthy a
wider fame. 1t represents MIR. johnson stand
ing on the threshold of the constitution, his atti
tude and expression denoting extreme anxiety
and perplexity. In the Foreground two
figures, big boy and little one, representing
respectively, the north and the south. The lar
ger urchin is vigorously pounding the smaller
one. who is stretching his hands imploringly
towards Mr. johnson and the constitution, and
struggling violently to get to them. Mr.. John
son looks out upon the struggle and exclaims -
Did anybody ever see the like | sent that boy
ont to bring his little brother in out of the cold
and now see--the child wants to come back and
the rascal won't let him He is actually holding
him out there and wall5wing him in the mud and
snow
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-03-06

Reported for tae Daily Argls.

New YoRk, March 6.-The n. Y. Herald's
Washington special says:
Directions have been given to department com
manders 10 vacate all rented buildings as rapidly
the ex geucies of the service will permit and
to collect the troops remaining fn their com
manos int" the regular military posts of the Uni
ted States.
Two regiments of colored cavalry and one bat
terry OF heavy artillery to be mustered out at
City Point this week
The N. Y. Herald's Canadian correspondent of
the I'd snys:
The Canadian parliament is to assemble in
Ottawa on the goth inst, and the New Brunswick
legislature Will meet IN that place on THURSDAY
next. In both bodies the confederation question
is to be introduced and every effort will be made
TO carry the scheme through without further de-
lay. The name determined on for the confedera-
ton is said to be '.The United Provinces of Brit
ish North America and il 10 thought that the
encouragement of Canada, Lord Monck, will
be the first ruler.
The New Orleans Picayune gives an account of
another of Gen. Buffers seizures while in com
mand at New Orl-ans, which has recently been
in legislation and SO been decided against the
general: Shortly before the occupation of the
city by the national troops, the municipal govern
ment made Mr.. Richie, the city surveyor a present
of 81 900, which the general ordered the reel pant
to restore to the city treasury default OF which
he condemned him to Tortugas with ba II and
chain. 10 lieu of this MIR. Richie paid the money.
Mr. Richie has lately sued the city for the amount
and the Judges decision was that i, should be
returned to him.
NEW YORK, March 6.-The only additional
nevs regarding the disaster to the Lockwood is
contained dispatch from Mem php. which
states that the steamer blew up and was burned
the night of the 4th inst, about Is miles below
that city.
There were 30 killed and IS injured.
She was valued at $50, 600 and not insured
The names of the killed and wounded are not
yet known.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-03-06
A GRAND RACE.
4 race between two railroad trains is thu

\ race between two railroad trains is thus
described:
F'The tracks of the Michigan Southern and the
Pittsburgh, Fort Wayne and Chicago roads lie,
Tor few miles, within hailing distance. They
are smooth straight and tempting. The other
night, l was board the Michigan Southern,
eastward bound, and looking out of window INTO
tho darkness, saw light projected on the blank
prairie, and kIndling up the Pittsburgh rails as II
its cars ran upon a silver track. 1t the fash
OF an eye that saw, and ,as our speed was check
ed al crossing, the train bound tor the Iron CITY
pulled up, and for a moment stood neck and
neck. Like the hammers of Vulcan's one-eyed
strikers, the trains cIattered the crossing and
away we went. The anapestic 'clank-te- clank' of
the wheels shortened up the motion OF the tram
grew steady there angry hum, little like
spindle the train thrilled like nerve, and 1t
all graceful and easy az flying. Up
burst the sparks from the Pittsburgh engine, like
chaf from thresnng floor; the polished shafts
flashed in the light, and 'buckled to- like rower's
naked arms, when he comes down upon the
home stretch the furnace door flew open with Il
great glare; every twinkling window was tuE of
faces. The long train looked as II one street had
eloped from Chicago, under cover OF the night, land
had gone gypseyIng with another. Samson was
Outdone. tie bore away Gaza's gates; but 10 -
here Ga2a's self!
f'You heard the clang of iron you saw the
tail of FIRE; it if the train being fash
Toned out of midnight upon anvil. So, for a
while, side by side At last our Pittsburgh neigh
Dor began to draw in to slide into the darkness,
to shut together like a telescope. BY and by we
caught glance at it's eye again; it had neither
lid nor lashes and its expression was not loving !;
we had 1t fairly astern and Just then IT wheeled
away great curve; our parting well
made > we Jared way rejoicing, and every
drowsy passenger that had been frightened into
quick sympathy with the train, much part of
it as wheels and axles, drew in, cooled up, and
fell into heap of Indistinguishable garments
Let nobody think there had been a race; possibly
the iron thorough-breds had pulled extra ounce
or SO upon the bits. But it was only bringing two
of tribe together; it was steam and it's brother
side by side. Now. bring on your classics and let
US make match oft. Do this sheat' of the Hy-
ing tea-kettes into Greek for us, and you may sta
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-03-06

A correspondent desires to know the names
of the vice presidents of the United States
They are as follows:
l. John Adams tMass.) 17S9-1797.
2. Thomas jefferson (Va.) l797-l50l.
3. Aaron Burr IN. " lS6l-l805.
4. George Clinton IN. r. lS05-l8l3.
5. Ebridge Gerry Mass 1873. Died
in Office.
6. Daniel d. Tompkins IN. W 1917
1925.
I. John c. Calhoun Is. c. IS25-ls33.
S. Martin Van Buren, IN. " 1856
1887.
9. Richard NJ. johnson (Ky.) 1887
1871.
10. john Tyler (Va.) 1s4l. Became
president by the death of President Harris
on.
IL. George Nj. Dallas PENN 1876
lS49.
II. Willard Fillmore IN " ls49. Be-
came president by the death of President
Tag lor.
l3. VIM. r. King (Ala.) 1858. Died in
Office.
IA. John C. Breckenridge (Ky.) 1857 -
1861.
Is. Hannibal Hamlin (Me.) lS6I-IS65.
l6. Andrew johnson (Tenn.l 1865. Be-
| came president By the death of President
| Lincoln.
1t thus appears from the organization OF
| the government we have had sixteen VICE
| presidents. OF these three became president
| by the death OF the chief magistrate. Two
| of the vice presidents have died in ofice-Mr
Gerry and Mr. King. Three of the vice pres
idents were afterwards presidents, viz
| Adams, Jefferson and Van Buren,. Three OF
| the vice presidents signed the Declaration OF
| Independence, viz: Adams, Jefferson and
! Gerry. New York has had the vice presi.
| dency more than any other state, viz: Four
years under Burr, eight years under Clinton,
eight years under Tompkins, four years IN
| der Van Buren,, snd one year under Fillmore.
Total, twenty five years, or about one-third of
| the time.
| OF the seventy seven years the office has
| been in existence, the north has had it sixty
years TO the south seventeen years Ciacin
natl Enquirer.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-03-06
A Married Man makes love TO his owr
Wife.
From the indianapolis Herald, Feb. &c.

From the Indianapolis Herald, Feb. &c.
gay and festive young gentleman, who num-
bers wife among his other membranes, made
arrangements 10 attend the masquerade on the
night OF the 22d, without consulting the afore-
said incumbrauce, calculating on having a Jolly
time among the girls Ee got himself up regard
less of expense, and thought he playing it re-
markably fine but the fair incumhrance before
alluded to got an inkling of what was going on,
and determined to be there too, and keep ali eve
on her lege lord She got herself up regardless
OF expense ALSO and was at the hall in advance
OF her husband. She soon recognized the row.
ing blade, and managed to attract his attention.
de danced with her, promenaded with her, chat
ted with her, and flirted with her. She was at
times coy, tantaliziug and provoking but always
fascinating, and he impatiently waited until
twelve O'clock, to get a sight of the features of
his agreeable partner. Tie time for unmasking
at last came, but the fair iacogfita, provoking
creature, was the last to drop the hateful dis
guise which shut out SO much beauty. At last
she yielded to the entreaties of her devoted ad-
mirer, when TO his horror the gay fellow found
that he had been for three hours making hot love
to his own wife At first he thoroughly dis
comfited, but, his native impudence coming to
the rescue he tried the weak dodge ofpretending
that he knew her all the time, and was only hum
oring the joke-whch his wife believed of
course.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-03-06
From the New York Sun.
Lecture Humbugs.

Ihere are great many humbugs Dy which
men with constitutional aversion to work
succeed In making money. One of the most
Dars-faced varieties 10 the lecture business-
not that all lecturers are humbugs, but that
great many humbugs are lecturers. Il is
one OF the easiest things in the world To he
come lecturer We will show how the
thing Is to be done, not with O view of ag.
gravating the nuisance, however, for the
number Of lecturers In the field is evidence
that about all who are disposed that way
have already mounted the stand An indl
vidnal of the Jeremy Diddler persuasion,
whose room rent is In arrears, wash-bill un-
paid, and best suit at his .'Dncles'-this
gentleman sees that something desperate
must be done, and he accordingly concludes
that iecturIng is the most desirable humbug
to engage in since 1t requires no qua1fica
ton except a tolerable AFFINITY to read. He
accordingly selects a subject. ANY thing will
do, but q current topic is of course the most
desirable. The Monroe doctrine, for exam
pie, is a pretty good subject, but this it
somewhat stale. Hanging JEFF. Davis might
do, but the excitement in this case has gre E
" subsidized. The Fenian movement is per-
haps still better, for i. is q subject that al.
classes take great interest in and which an
peals to the feelings of all lovers of liberty.
Well, we will suppose that Fenlanism is the
chosen subject for the lecture. Jeremy at
once proceeds to scrape up all the newspa.
pers he can FIND. and with the aid of q pair of
scissors and little more work than he ia
accustomed to, he soon clips out enough mat
ter to make q lecture of the proper length,
with all the necessary apostrophes to the
green flag, the requisite anathemas against
English oppression, and the required perora.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-03-06

or O small fire burning in the fireplace. This
creates draft, and carries bad airs and gas
% up the chimney.
That out door exercise before breakfast 10
healthfui. 1t is never 90. And, from the
very nature of things, it is hurtful, especial
" to persons of poor health, although the
very vigorous may practice it with impunity
In winter the body is chilled through and
through, unless the stomach has been forth
fed with a good warm breakfast; and in
warm weather, miasmatic and malarious
gases and emanations speedily act upon the
empty and weak stomach in a way to yitiiate
the circulation and in induce fever and ague,
diarrh9a and dysentery entire families, wi
have arranged to eat breakfast before leaving
the house, and eat supper before shutdown,
have had complete exemption from fever and
sgue, while the whole community around
them was suffering from it, from having neg.
lected these precautions.
That whatever lessons a cough is good
for ii, and. if perseyered in, will cure it. On
the contrary, all coughs are soonest CURED by
promoting and increasing them because ma
ture endeavors by the cough to help to bring
up the phlegn and yellow matter which is in
the lungs, as the lungs cannot heal while
that matter is there. And as it cannot be
got rid of without coughing, the more cough
ing there is the sooner it is got rid of-tht
sooner is the lungs cleared out for the fuller
and freer reception of pure air, which is then
natural food. The only remedies which car
do any good in coughs are such as loosen th'
phlegm, and thus less cough is required II
bring il up. Those remedies are, warmth
out door exercise, and anything which slight
ly nsuseates.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-03-06

A correspondent of the Independent boats
Dixon" Carl Shurz, Sumner, and the whole
tribe of gatherers of the terrible" at the
south. For instance, he says:
"At Columbus, man said to me, with quiet
clfhckle, that right smart chance of niggers had
been found dead in his county lately, with bullet
holes in their heads. At Atlanta, another told m e
that they recently had occasion 60 dredge a small
river his town, and brought to light the bod
les of about twenty buck nggers.'''
Sumner, in his speeches, and by Anna Dick
inson in her "Flood. Tide" OF course there
Is not a word of truth in any of them-they
are manufactured for the purpose of firing
the northern heart" against the people of the
south.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-03-06
A Case of Conscience in the ARMY

Case of Conscience In the Army.
The following letter has been received by
Gen. Spinner, United States treasurer:
To the treasury department:
transmit herewith s9l 80, money that my
conscience tells me cannot keep-commutation
money for servant that l eIacted when was
not entitled to it, not having a servant emp loyed
was quartelmaster, captain, A. A G., and,
having ''contrabands'' employed in the depart
ment, used one my servant and charged for
my servant also. which wrong. / send the
money, with interest at 100 per cent.
Also, communication for a servant for 90 days
while was not on duty, and had no servant EN-
ployed. Respectfully,
Feb "a.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-03-06

DrLoring, a member of the Massachusetts,
house Of representatives from Salem. the gan
tlsman woo nominated Dir. Breckenridge for
the presidency. in the Baltimore convention
in 1860, has offered a series Of resolutions
o1ndemnng President johnson and white
washing" Mr. Sumner. The Doctor is a suit
able person to treat 50 grave" a subject
Boston Post
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-03-06
The Pittsburgh strike.

Ho IlsaUuFgu UA<tSte, OF ohIufuay,s peak
ing of the strikes q. the rolling mills there,
says:
The iron manufacturers held meeting vestsr
day, and resolved not to resume work until their
employees would accept the reduced schedule of
wages. The workmen seem equally determined,
many OF them having already gone to work at such
employment as they can find, while others are
casting about TOR something to do.
There 10 a probability that the workmen will be
Idle Tor several months, even if they succeed in
getting their old rates the end of that time, it
Will require years perhaps to make good the loss
they ale now sustaining. The feeling engendered
by these unfortunate strikes il such that men
would suffer almost any privation rather than
yield.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-03-06

ton upon the future Irish Republic. Hav-
ing GOT thus far, ii is only necessary TO en-
gage . hall, fix the admission fee, announce
the lecture, read the stuff to the audience,
pocket the proceeds and relapse into idleness.
What 10 easier than that?
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-03-06

Forney is fairly fayed alive by the Wash
ington Republican, which asks. "can Duck
be known by the length and breadth of his
stationary bill?" 1t also says "a clergyman
writes TO say that Forney is only quack D..
Do
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-03-06
HUGH wAENoCK
ROE ERT RALaTUN.
WARN0Ck L. RALST0N.

Successors 10 Warnoek Keily-)
MANUFACTURER Of Soap and Cam
LII dies, and Lard Oil, Rock Island, Ill. Cash
pz d for Tia low and Grease
DchSd WIN
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-03-06
HOUSES AND Let's FOR SALE.

7 OFFER for sale. three houses and lots,
] situated on Rock1River street. above Broad
way. They in good coalition, with clear
titles, and will be sold on reasonable terms.
VIM. BELL.
Rock Island, Feb'y %. dwtf.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-03-06

There was o good deal said at one time
about the eloquent argument against slavery
of Summers vacant chair" in the senate
There are twenty-five arguments of the same
kind just at this time on behalf Of re unit
cd Union.-N Y. World.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-03-06

A woman in Pennsylvania has petitioned
do not agree on politics." She is for Andy.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-03-06
DISSOLUTION

DISSULUTEUNs
THE partnership heretofore existing be-
4 tween the undersigned under the name OF
WarnOck S Kelly, is this day dissolved by mutual
consent. All debts due the late firm will be col
lected by our successors, Warnock * Ralston,
who. have also assumed the payment of all liabili-
ties of Warnock & Kelly.
HUGH WARN0CK,
JAMES KELLY.
RocE Island, March !. 1866.
mch3dwIm.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-03-06

Apropos of Mr.. Summers scrap-book
speech, Norfolk paper says ''it is impossi-
BILE to conjecture the amount OF harm done by
these wicked inventions, by prejudicing the
minds of the dominant majority on tse one
hand, and outraging the feelings of the van
pushed minority on the other. Some of
these statements. Geographic and epistolary,
may, perhaps, result from ignorance: but
the great mass of them are penned through q
sordid and unmanly anxiety to write in har-
mony with the sentiments of the journals
with which their authors correspond. In
other words, they deliberately manufacture
lies in order that they may get money for
them" All our readers will recollect the
tissue of falsehoods telegraphed from North
Carolina, and which were SO gross that Gov,
Holden felt it necessary to expose them over
his own signature. Of such is Summers eyi
dsncs. and Anna Diekenson's gable.