Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1866-12-01

tends the fire down below. 80 Lord
Jeems, what will become Of us? 1 felt
skeery about getting in the outlandish
thing at first" aKeep quiet, Lie
hollerin' won't do any good now! Eff
you know any prayer, now's the time to
say it, for both of us"
"What's the matter here ?" said the
astouuded conductor, coming up as the
train emerged once more into the light.
"That's just what I'd like to know"
said Jeems, when he saw that Lie and
himself were still alive. "We've just
passed through Eaton's tunnel" replied
the conductor. GLOW far are you 60
ing?" "Wall, reckon we'll stop at
Parkersburg." "Show your tickets, if
you please.' Certainly. Lie, you
got some with you? Let this gent look
at 'em."
Lie drew piece of white paper from
her reticule, and with smile, handed
It to our friend the conductor, who read:
The pleasure Of your company is
respectfully solicited.
"What's this p said the astonished
conductor. "Why, that's one of the
tickets to our weddin' that's what you
asked for hain't it r. said the somewhat
surprised Jeems. "Wha! haw haw |!
haw p was the discordant sound that
arose from the seat of the sleepy-looking
individual.
A bland smile passed over the face of
the conductor, as he explained his mean
ingSto our verdant friend. He had
no ticket, but willingly paid his fare,
and the train sped on towards its desti-
nation But wonders did not cease here.
Presently pert newsboy entered the
car, and stepping up to Jeems, asked :
"Have Sun sir ?'' "Wall, eff have
my way about it, the first one will be
son, sartain," said Jeems. Lize blush
ed. "Don't count your chickens be-
fore they are hatched y said Billy, as
he fastened on to the next car.
In due time the train stopped at the
big depot in the city Amid confusion
of strange noises, and Babel of dis
cordant voices, our friends landed on
the platform. "Buss, sab !? Buss sab
free for the United States p said the
sable porter of our up town house.
s'Lady take buss, san p "Wall, rath-
er spose she won't from anybody but
me; reckon I'm able to do all in that
line she wants, and more too," "Go to
de Revere House sab {? Rite crost de
street, best house in de city" "This
way, sab any baggage ? Have it sent
to your room in few minutes'
In short time Jeems and his bride
found themselves in one of those COM
Portable rooms on the first floor of that
we'll ordered establishment. the Revere
House. The baggage was sent up with
the usual promptness, and our friends
were soon making up their toilet for
dinner. Jeems had his coat and boots
off in jiffy, and Lies hair fell grace
fully over her shoulders
"That's a deuced pretty torsel," said
Jeems, cycling the bell-cord. ~ wonder
what it's for ?" catching hold of it;
"look, it works up there on a sort Of
thingumbob. I'd like to have that tor
|sel to put on my horses head next mus
ter day see how it works." said he,
giving it pull.
Presently the door opened, and the
sable face of one of Africa's sons was
thrust into the room with the inquiry
|-"Ring, sab ?"
"Riug! ring what, you black ape ?
Eff you don't quit looking at my wife,
and make yourself scarce, Til wiring
your head off," 'sStop mint" says
Lize. "What's the name of the man
that keeps this tavern p "Mr. s.,
marm.' swell, tell his lady she need
not 60 to any extra ixin on ouraccount
for we are plain people," said the amia-
Bile bride. GAS they used to say in our
debatin' society,"" interrupted Jeems,
"Tll amend that motion by saying you
can tell 'em to give us the best they've
got. I'm able to pay fur it, and don't
keer for expenses"
"Tee hee! tee hee p' was the only
audible reply from the sable gent, as he
hurried down stairs.
Dinner came, and was dispatched
with relish. Jeems and his bride
took stroll over the city, seeing the
lions and other sights, until supper
time. which being over, they retired to
their room. The gas was lit by the
servant, who received ragged quarter
for his services. Jeems was the last in
bed, and according to rule in such cases
had put the light out, which he did
with blast from his lungs.
The noise in the street died away,
and silence reigned in the 'tcrack ho-
tel" The young man on the watch
dozed in his chair. The clerk (rather
corpulent) was about to retire, when he
thought he smelt gas. The guests,
isomeDf them, woke up and smelt gas.
Much against his will, rhe clerk pro-
ceeded to find where the leak was. 1t
seemed stronger in the neighborhood of
the room occupied by the bride and
groom. Clerk concluded to knock at
the door of their room. "Who's there?"
came from the inside "Open the door
the gas is escaping" "Gas, what gas?"
said Jeems, opening the door. "Why,
here in this room. How did you put
vonr Echt ont 9O SsRlo- II ont of