The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1866-11-10
RET Y.

When - y guinea not u guinea? When ii j.
one pound wOn--at whist
Why are railroad accidents like irregular sup
pers? Because they are c.tsual-tcIs.
What i the difference between an editor and a
xir.2 On. sets articles to rights and the other
writes articles To- set
To MAKE YorR STABLES WARY IN WINTER
Set fire u them
When NAV loaf of bread b. said to be- in
habitcd2 When it has ItJle Indian il it.
What Is the difference between "A summer dress
in winter, and an extracted tooth? One Is too
thin and the other is tooth out
What is tine difference between tunnel and
Speaking trumpet? One Is followed out, and
the other il followed in.
The inventor of street toy known a. the
return BAIL ~ realized 800. 600 from his sales
in 1865. lie will probably keep that ball in
motion.
stranger in our printing-ofiice asked the
devil what his rule of punctuation was, set up
n long as | can hold my breath. then | put In
comma when gasp, insert semicolon and
when want chew Ut tobacco, l make para
graph"
Tell me, angelic hosts, We messengers of love,
shall swindled printers here below have no
dress above2-' The shining-angel band replied
.' To i knowledge given deIinquents on the
printers book can never enter heaven"
\ correspondent entered Office, and accused
the eompOsItOr of not having puHctuatcd his COM
munic.itiOn, when the typo earnestly replied
=. I'm not pointer. I'm Il setter
An English married lady has consulted her
lawyer the question whether. having married
her husband for his money, and that money being
, all spent. she IL widow. and liberty to
marry agrin? Decision reserved
Vienna papers assert that the Saxon town Of
Zitian had been destroyed by the Prussians in
consequence of the refusal oil the inhabitants to
pay contributions
clsket of diamonds and other valuable
Jewels. worth $50 600. was recently found near
Nashville, having evidently been lying for sever
al years just under the surface of the ground.
There Is n marked increase Of neuralgia, tie
douloUreux, great suffering in the ear, and loss
Of sight among women which eminent medical
ascrihc to the fashion Of wearing excessive
ly small bonnets.
Washing the head with cold black tea. once
twice week will keep the hair from falling
OF. prevents its growing gray, and gives it fine,
lively luster-
To DRAIN L,SDs.-DrinE wIIiSkey, and spend
all your time at the village tavern. This will
drain you of all your lands in a short time
To MAKE STONE FESCE--EquGI parts Of whis-
key and cider. Tins i the reciprocal stone fence
the you lay of it the more 1t will - lay
You
E,sY WAY To DE,w SAW LOGS-Draw them .
on piece of paper with crayOn pencil After
y
largest kind of saw-lO,s with ease
PoRK-Packing thread il of no use in pack
ing pork. Ia curing hams the time varies. (
Hams that have got tTichini,e can't be cured at GH
Mrs. Jenkins complained in the evening that .
the turkey she had eaten did not set well. :. Pro-
tably," said jenkins. - it was not hen-turkey.'
He got glass UC water in the face.
\ clergyman lately travelling in the oil region
a child stumbling and falling. He kindly
IL rnfI haru - tt-tr ire
700 hurt - when SHE cried out, =. amt poor,
dad has done struck lie ''
\ better bull than the following. from the
Louisville Journal. we never saw credited to Sir
Boyle Roche
"Our campaign documents are going off faster
=, Ian we can get them ready"
1T assemblage OF few friends, one evening,
the absence of a lady noticed, which was
aTologizsd for by an acquaintance. who stated
that she detained by an interesting little IN
eident. =. Ah. yes, exclaimed Mrs. John Smith,
: and I beautiful incident 1t WAS tOO-weIShlng
Jus5 nne pounds and halfi''
Justice, they sly, il blind. how then is she to
discover that OQe man IL black and another col
Orei.-N. y. JTI5ulic.
HoraceevdentIy thinks this hard conundrum,
but Weanswer promptly By the smell Nor
folk THgiHiGH.
The following is n list Of - commemorative
weddngs." Two years after the ,redding is the
" paper wedding;'' the filth anniversary Is the
=. wooden wedding - the tenth the - tin we'd
ding; the fifteenth the :. crystal wedding the
twenty-ffth the :. silver wed1ing;' and the
fiiieth the % golden wedding - the seyenty-iith
the . diamond wedding
Cincinnatian says: Talk about filters
just eat quart of Ohio river water. and stand
IN the sun for five minutes. and you Will find the
aforesaid water coming out at every pore. beauti-
fully filtered, while your stomach becomes con
yerted into a slnd-bIg. and you can hear the
az r1r 10 .= -l1rt yy.tT z
FENCEs AND FARNING.--GoOd fencing i essen
tai on farm. Get good =. fencing master
To teach YOU. y rail fence Is better than an i'm
aginary one. You can't repair a r0TnI fence by
taking yermifuge. Neither can yOu cut good
WhItewash brushes out of brush fences.
COURAGE N EVERY DAY LIIE.-Have the cCur-
age to do without that which Won do not need,
however much your eyes may covet it.
Have the courage to show your respect for
honesty, in whatever guiSe it appears; and your
contempt for dishonest duplicty, by whOmsoever
exhibited.
-. Have the courage 70 wear your old clothes un-
VI you can pay for new ones.
nave the Courage To prefer comfort an1 pros
peTity to fashion in all things.
nave the courage to acknowledge your IgnO-
rance rather than 20 seek credit for knowledge
under false pretenses
nave the Courage t. provide entertainment for
- nv Ir'enas within your mcans-not beyond
nave the courage 10 take a good paper aud
II lie n