Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1866-05-11

THE ENGLISH JUDGES on STRONG DRINK
AND CRIME. is scarcely crime
comes before me that is not directly or indi-
rectly caused by strong drink.-Jndge Cole
ridge.
IF it were not for this drinking, you (the
jury would have nothing to do.--Judge
Patterson.
Experience has proved that almost all
crime into which juries have had to inquire
may be traced in one way or another to
drunkenness. - Williams.
find in every calendar that comes before
me, one unfailing source, directly or indi-
rectly, of most Of the crimes that are COM
mitted, Intemperance. Judge Wiglatntan.
If all men could be dissuaded from the
use of Intoxicating liquors, the Office of a
judge would be sinecure. -Jadge Under
son.
The DISADVANTAGE OF TELLING THE
TRUTH. "A negro named Alvey, of Putnam
county, Ga, who recently wrote letter to
the Memphis Post, giving an unfayorable
account of affairs in his section, was found
drowned a few days ago, with bag Of
stones fastened around his neck.
''WANTED- "A gentleman in Omaha, Ne
shraska, advertises for 'frst-rate, tip-top,
A No. housemaid, and adds the suggest
i've statement that all the piano-playing,
fine needle work. visiting and entertaining
company will be done by the lady of the
house.
CANDID.-The editor of a new paper in
Nebraska begins his Introductory article
with the following sentence The object
in view in the establishment of this paper
is the procuring of means Wherewith to buy
bread and butter and good clothes
A newspaper correspondent, who has
travelled over several hundred miles in
Pennsylvania, Delaware and Maryland, re-
twenty-five, the wheat is in fine condition
A great many of our Southern friends
are going North. They feel a curiosity to
sec what on earth whipped them so.-Lou-
isrille journal
Miss Lovely says that males are of no ac-
count from the time ladies' stop kissing them
as infants, till they kiss them as lovers.
''Who is that foreign lady with the low
cut dress, asked Quilp of bystander at a
party the other evening. That is Miss
Chemiseoff, Russian lady, was the reply
and an appropriate name it Is
Bg~ A miner who recently came from
Virginia City, says vegetation is 80 scarce
in that region that two mullen-stalks and
bunch of thistles Is called grove.
How many an enamored pair. have court
cd in poetry and lived in prose
PATIENCE, a virtue which some people
think every one wants but themselves.
In the march Of life don't heed the or
der of right about, when you know you
are about right
The entire assets of recent bankrupt
was nine children. The creditors acted
magnanimously, and let him keep them.
A CHAPLAIN of State prison was asked
by pious friend how the parishioners were,
All under conviction was the reply
AN English married lady has consulted
her lady on the question, whether having
married her husband for his money, and
that money being all spent, she is not
widow and at liberty to marry again.
A YANKEE being asked BY Southerner
why Yankees always say ] guess, while
the southern people say Il reckon, gave
the following explanation That . Yam
kee could guess as well as a southerner could
reckon
There IS said to be something consoling
for every III 10 this life. For instance II a
man il bald headed his wife cant pull his
hair.
The San Francisco comic papers cite the
late earthquake in that city as proof that
the world wags.
The essiest and best way to expand the
chest is TO have a good heart in il.
The vessel that no woman objects to euss
lark ina court ship.