The Lancaster ledger. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1852-1905, 1866-11-28

When Admiral Farragut was ten years
Of age, his father, then an officer Of rank
in the United States navy, and high in
the estimation OF the Government, said
in his hearing that when he (the bow
Vas old enough to make compact and
keep il, he ha a bargain to offer him
The son rose up and asked his father to
state the ,errnso OF the contract.
The Admiral said: "Tne proposal
that intend to make is: II you will
not smoke nor chew tobacco, nor drink
Intoxicating drinks, nor strong wines, till
you are twenty one years Of age, | will
then give you 81 o0O.'
Il am old enough 10 make that bar.
gain now said the young Farrsgut, Il
will accept the otrer.'
The bargain was closed And on the
attainment Of young Fsrtagu,'s majority
the cash was banded over.
Two friends meeting, one remarked.
al have jns, me. man who told nis /
looked exactly like you" "Tell me who
it WAS ,ha, | may knock him down." re-
piled his friend. Don't trouble yourself"
said be, 81 did that myself at once"
man has published book advising
all men to "mind their own business" A
reviewer asks: "why doesn't lie mind his
Instead of telling other people what 10
do I"
What makes you look SO erum, Tomf
"Oh. bad 10 endure a sad trial TO nv
feelings What on earth was itr WHY,
had to lie on pretty girls bonnet
while ber ma was looking on
Among mere blunders, We believe We
lave met with no richer specimen than
this one, perpe'ta,ed by a bsll--it ger in
Cork: 30 ,is! o yi. Los, somewhere
between twelve o'clock and MrKinnsy's
store in Market street, large brass key.
I'll no, be after telling yees what il is,
but It's the key Of tie bank Sure"
A Wes, Virginia editor let's down on
a delinquent patron, in this wise: I'VE
could take the little cod Of nothing, Whit.
tie 1t down TO point, punch ou, the pi,h
OF horse hair, put in forty thousand
such souls as his, shake them up, thew
would rattle ep'
Now then. Joseph, parse courtirg said
a teacher 70 n rather slow boy.
"Conr,'ng is an irregular uxnsi,ive
verb, indicative mood, present tense,
Third person. and singular number, and
80 on, said Joseph.
"Wel!, but ~hst does il agree with
demanded the teacher. at q ,ree. with
--w'Ih-Wih all The gals IN to,On," ex
claimed Joseph.
"F"c's are stubborn things" said a
lawyer TO female witness under exami
nation.
The lady replied ayes. cir es; and
90 are women, and IL you &c, anything
on. Of me, just le, me know IT,"
"fon'll be committed, for contempt" :"
"Very we'll, III suffer justly for I feel
the utmost contempt for every lawyer
present"
An enthusiastic old fellow and his wife
recently visited Niagara Falls They
worshiPPel the falls all day, from the pi
szza IN front Of their room, and retired
talking over its wonders At an early
hour, next morning. the old gentleman
was OF the qni vive. and as soon as he
saw the falls again be sang out, "Wfs !
wife! III be durnsd IL the water mint
still going over that damw
The jealous persons inquiries are the
mos; successful when they discover uo,h
iDg. He pleasure arises from his disap.
poin,menu. His life is spent 10 pursni,
Of a secret, which, IL he Gnds IL, makes
him miserable.
Some miscellaneous wsgs one night pull
ed down turner's sign and placed il over
q slawyers door in the morning, il resd,
"All sorts OF turning and twisting done
here"
Prentice 10 recovering. He says "If
you woui remedy dyspsps,s--aiet. II
you would remedy gray hair--dys il.
How do you arrive at the height of a
church s,eePle on hot dsyi Psr.pire
a FIVE woman Is like locomotive, he
cause she dray allfs ,"-r ocr. ,r,. e..
tss ,pwk. aud eAe.lorI The males.