davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01
ARcurE II. ArsQurrH.
Cs. W. AIou1rH.
AISoUITH &C. BRO,


Atthe Old Stand of Beller d Burnett, On az
CRarlestorn. Jefferson Comfy, Iirgsnia, ~
nFFER TO the people their large and care IA
fully selected stock OF
DRUGS. CHEMICALS, PANTS, RARS W.
OILS. PATENT MEDICINES, "
STUFFS, PERFUlHERIES, and
DRUGGISTS F g1lo e., p gyms an"
A. rricss n suit the times Prescriptions ana al
Comnorpds viii receive strict and special atteu.ion
AZ ali hours of day and night, so as 70 INSURE eSi
fa;ntv and safety We call special attention 10 inc
following enumeration of articles:
brakes Plantation Bitters,
Hostetter's Stomach Bitters,
Hooaands German Bitters, .,,.
Ayers Cherry Personal---very. Sarsaparliia'
Ayers Ague Cure-Ayer's Cathartic rms,
Carter's Spanish Mixture,
. Hembold's Fluid Extract OF Buehu, 80
VOLTS Schnapps-Brown's Jamaica Ginger'
Radway's Ready Relief,
Burnett's Cod Liver Oil, J,
Nichols Elixer Peruvian Bark with Protoxide OF
Iron,
WcIone's Vermifuge -Fahnestock's Vermifuge,
H,howay's Worm CONNECTIONS,
McMunn's EliAer Opium, =
Perry Davis Pain Killer-Larabee's Pain Killer,
Blaif's Compound Syrup Phosphates,
HubbelPs Bitter Wine of Iron,
Ellis Citrate Magnesia,
WrightS Indian Vegetable Pills,
Brandreths Pils-Spalding Cephalic Pills,
DIR. Shallenberger's Fever and Ague Antidote,
Spalding's Glue-0liye Oil,
McAlister's Qintment-Sing' Itch Ointment,
Browns Bronchial Troches,
Thompson's Eve Water,-Arrow Root,
Barley, Corn Starch, Sage, Gelatine,
Tapioea, Extract Vanilla, Extract Lemon,
Extract Pine Apple, Extract Orange,
Hodgson's Diamond Cement,
Payson's Indelible Ink,
Stonebraker's Nerve Linimcnt,
Stonebraker's Pain Killer,
Stonebraker's Rat Exterminator,
Stoncbraker's Horse and Cattle Powders,
Stonebraker's Vegetable Cough Syrup,
Stonebraker's Hair Restorative,
Stonebrakcr's Liver Pills,
Stonebraker's Dyspepsia Bitters and Liver lnvi-
g0rator.
: Pefumery, Soaps, &c-Sozodant for Teeth,
Hawley's. and Glenn's Ext. for the handkerchief,
Golden Lilly of Japan for the hair,
Sterlng's Ambrosial for the hair,
Burnett's Cocaine for the hair
Oldham's and Cristadora's Hair Dye,
Ambrosial Nectar Cologne,
Glen's Rose Hair 0il-Glenn's Honey Soap,
Colgate Bath Soap, together with Soaps of every
variety and style,
Hair. Clothes, Tooth, and Shaving Brushes,
Combs, &c,
Pens, Ink, Paper and Envelopes, &c.
August q, 1865.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01

FAIR LUCY


Fair Lucy was ltNning against the DARK pole
Ofan aspen that, tremulo1s NnislS, ~ ~
And looked so bewitching, VOW On my SUI, -.
There was noughtto be done In the Woiiu Oul' u
love her.
And The sunbeams that rained on her, down through
the leaves. ,1.h.~
Like hock of gold butterflies, futtered ABOUT ner'
Her ewes were that grey which so sweety aeIelves'
Yet it seems an impicty, almost TO DOUBT n'''
The breeze. as it lifted her froliescme caris,
Seemed 20 love So o. liugcr and ioites az ',t W
protest that I thought her the dearest o' il.s
The dearest. Wen, that was no more N'""
found her
For when aspen and sunbeam and breeze were a.
way, .,..1 ,-,,,s
And il came to the settlement, wedding ana '''1'-
G,pn5 ~ was dearly the sums I'd to pay,
When h was not really convenient to do So
bon., wherein all things her taste she displayed
Fxcept in econOmy-that She no thought OF
The costlicst dresses most gOrgcously InGoe' .,
And trinkets the Jew-est Of jewellers oousH' % .
A carriage: An opera-box! g There Is the ruo
That takes all the polish Oh youthful goui@N'-''
I vas really So very well Oh at the el1o'
. Twas pity uurscd matrimonial iancie'
Incv. while leaning against the dark bcle
Ofthe aspen that, tremulons' Whispered "'''N
her, s,rl
Was such sweet picture VOW on my So
/ regret that had any ambition 70 "o'' MI
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01
BRANDIES. WHISEEYS.
WINES. ALE. PORTER. &c. &c.

At his BAR may be found the most delightful and
refreshing summer beverages-lfnt Jaieps. Cob
icrs, Sa,o,hes. Lemonade, NT Ale Porter, Bro,rn
Stout, or Whisky and Brondics plain
Also, prime Cigars and Tobacco always on hand
In addition 20 the attractions of his Saloon NAV
be found Reading Room which will be found cool
in summer, and warm and cheerful in winter
His object is to keep his House well supplied with
the best che market affords in his line and he hopes
by attention 20 business, and having everything
quiet and in good order, to merit large share OF
the public patronage.
August y, lS65-
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01
CAMPBELL * MASON,

AIV4hLIARlACy
South side Maiu Street, CkarlestocH. I'D
TENHE undersigned having recently reftted III
their Store-room, and received full Ia
stock Of fresh and reliable
DRUGS. MEDICINES,
CHEMICALS Periphery,
PAINTS, -DYE-STCFF'S, &C., De-,
Win supply friends and customers at aecommoda-
ting prices.
Included in our Stock (the whole of which has
been selected with great care, are
Ayers Cherry PICTORIAL
Wistar's Basam lid Cherry,
Wistar's Lozenges-Jaynes Expectorant,
Browns Bronchial Troches,
Plantation Bitters,-Hostetter Bitters.
Baekslev's Wine Bitter's-Cannon's Bitters,
Mrs. WinslOws Soothing Syrup,
Bulls Observation-Disclosures Yermifuge,
uolloway's Worm CORRECTION,
1hompson's Eye Water,
Browns Essence Of Ginger,
Railways Ready Relief,
Davies Pain Killer,
Larabee's Pain Killer,
Barrys TricOpherous-Lyon's kathairose,
Mrs. Aliens ZylobalSamum,
Burnett's Cocoaine-JOnes' Hair Dye,
Pomades-E xtracts-Cologne Water,
Yerbena Water-SOaps,
Sozodont for the Teeth,
Hair Tooth. Cloth, Nail and Shaving Brushes,
Fine Combs-Ridding Combs,
School Books, Bibles, PRAYER and Hymn Books,
ntiOnery-TObaceO and Segars,
Concentrated I've for making soap,
Flavoring Extracts-Ya nilla Beans-Geletine.
SPANISH LEECHE,S
We are prepared to in physicians prescriptions,
and compound medicines according to the latest
and strictest rules OF Pharmacy.
The public can confidently rely on having pre-
scriptions carefully prepared at all hours Of day
and night
August p, 1865.
.-g~O Our customers viii bear in mind that we
sell ercioircly for CASH. KY
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01
BALrtMoRE ADVERTISEMENTS
Pancatharticonized OldRye Whiskey,

nEFECATED or. Depurated for medical or so,
| cial uses by the g PGncatharticon," invented
and patented June IL, 1862, by
JOHN E. WILSON, Baltimore, Nd,
Tn barrels. demiiohns, bottles, &C. For sale by the
Agent on the Northwest corner of Howard and
Camden streets nearly opposite Camden Station of
Baltimore and Ohio Rail Road. JlEs- None genuine
that has not the Patentee and Agents signature on
each label.
rs1-Its purity has been fully tested as per the
annexed certificates of analysis:
CERTIFICATES.
RYE iFhiskey, PancathGrticonisedt by
JOHE T. WILSON of
Baltimore.
This whskey is characterized by the absence OF
heavy Fusil Oil, Sugar, end Poisonous Metallic COM
pounds, and by retaining its ethereal oderous oil
untainted 1t has the chemical composition of
pure. carefully defeated Rye Whiskcy.
Respectfully, A. A. HAYES, NJ. D.,
State AssGyer, l6 BoyIston street.
Boston, Mass, 23d August, 1862.
Having made careful chemical ANALYSIS of the
Pancatharticonized Old Rye Whiskey Of Mr. John
F. WILSON Baltimore, am pleased to state that it is
entirely free from fusil OIL metallic salts, or other
matters in any way detrimental to health. In aro-
ma. richness and deicacy of flavor, it cannot be
surpassed. Respectfully yours,
G. A. LIEBIG, NJ. D.,
Andlytical Chemist.
Baltimore, July %, 1862.
Careful chemical analysis of four kinds of Wits
keys-Superior Old Rye Whiskey, Superior Old
Bourbon Whskey Superior Old Wheat Whisky,
Superior Old Corn Observation-Disclosures
by means of the patent apparatus invented by John
f. Wilson, of Baltimore, Nd, have shown them to
be entirely free from the heavy fusil oils and from
the poisonous metallic compounds often found in
Whiskeys.
They retain the ETHEREAL Products, entirely free
from any faint produced by injured grain, or care
less fermentation, and being unmodifed by the use
of sugar are remarkably pure products of delicate
chemical operations Respectfully.
A. a. HAYES, NJ. D.,
State Assayer, l6 BoylSton street.
Boston, Mass, 23d August, 1862.
NG-ORDERS SOLICITED 81
Nzs-Dealers and Druggists allowed liberal dis
count. For prices and particulars address sole A
gent of the United States.
JOHN E. WILSON,
~ Corner Horard d. Camden streets.
Baltimore, August "a, lS65.-ly
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01

A CONTEMPORARY in speaking OF one oil MS
neirbbors SAYS; ''the bowling hyena OF that III
famous and traitorous sheet yclept--, toams
a. the mouth. and guashes Lis toothless Jaws
and drolls out Enthusiastically his impotent
race With his hide covered with wells sore
and disgusting from the effects Of the lash ana
the porker of truth, which his insoIence mas
brought upon him, he rolls over and bites and
tears and soils himself till he becomes offensive
to the eye
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01
GOOD Wine needs no Bush"

Ter Bar Room, under store-room Of LeisenriRg-
and Son. Ckarlestura,
J. II. YESTERDAY BROTHER.
IT is an inexQrable principle that no excellent drink
can be made out of anthing but excellent mate
rails and we conceive that are safe in asserting
that whatever may be prepared at our establish
ment will be able 10 speak eloquently for ITSELF
glass" to cali upon us and we can favor them with
the most favored ana pleasant drinks.
Punches Toddies, HINT Julcps, Swnsies, Sings,
COJJers Cocktails SdRgorceg, Fires and SoWrs,
Fiips. Negus and Shrub, Egg Nogs,
ApBio Toddics and Hot Drinks az season,
Vines Ale, Porter, Bro,ri Stout,
And Brandy and Whisky plain.
Also, always an assortment of superior brand Sc
CARS on hand Call upon us-in summer-f you
would " keep cool'-and winter, if you need some
thing warm and pungent.
August "a, 1865
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01

JOSH Billings says Il could not find the
meaning of the word collide in Worcester or
Webster. But riding the other day ON the n.
Y.C.R.R.. l saw all 1t is the attempt Of
two trains to pass one another on single
track. If l remember correctly, it was sig
nal failure.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01

A Philadelphia editor thinks, from the man
nor shirts are made in that city, that there ought
to be an inspector ofcommon sewers. The edi-
tor went to the expense ofanew shirt the other
day. and found himself when he awoke in the
morning, crawling out between two the shor-
test stitches.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01

A cabin boy on board a ship was called up
to be whipped for some misdemeanor' Lathe
Jack went trembling and crying to the captain
who was a religious man, and said
"Prav. sir, viii YOU wait until l say my
prayers ?"
ayes. was the stern reply.
"Weu, then, replied Jack, looking up and
smiling triumphantly, an never say them.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01

A COUPLE in Oregon got tired Of living to-
cether. and mutually signed apaper which they
drew up for themselves-the wife giving her
"beloyed husband a full divorce, and wishing
him all the happiness he could Get, and the
husband giving lis wife "a little rat coiored
mule"
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01

THERE is an undertaken in Newbern who Is
m embalmer, and when his wife died, he exer-
cised his art upon her in his best style, and no"
keeps her in his room to exhibit as specimen
of his art, tapping her upon the forehead to
show its frmness and saying, "This IS all OF
my poor BetSey.'
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01
ID. HOWELL

ID. HOW ELL
DEGS leave to Uniform the citizens Of Charlestown
I'D and the surrounding country, that he has
opened STORE in the room formerly occupied by
Mr. Jacob Starry, nearly opposite the Bank, where
he VIII keep a general assortment of
DRY GOODS. NOTIONS, MATS,
SHOES QEEENSWARE,
And all other Goods usually kept in country store
His stock will be constantly replenished from the
Baltimore market and as the goods are bought on
the best terms, and sold exclusively for cash, he
win be enabled to sell on short profits consequently
his goods will be found to be cheap any other
house.
He hopes by strict attention to business, and a
disposition at all times to accommodate, to merit
q full share of the public patronage.
70 Country Produce taken at all times in cx-
change for goods, at the highest market prices.
August 81, 1868.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01
BALTIMORE ADVERTISEMENTS


The Washington
Fire Insurance Company
OF BALTIMORE.
30. 81 SourH STREET, OVER THIRD NATIONAL BAx.
THIS Company insures Buildings, Merchandise,
i Personal Property generally, Vessels in Port,
&C., against Loss or Damage by Fire, on the most
favorable terms.
ly paid.
DIRECTORS.
THOMAS Y. CANDY, of Candy, Gilpin Co.
WIN. WHITEL0CK, Pres't of Sd National Bank.
o. A. PARKER, of E. L. Parker Co.
w. III. CRAWFORD, of W. II. Crawford Co.
p. S. cXAPPELL, Manufacturing Chemist
G. II. REESE OF G. H. Reese Bros.
J. ID. MASON, of J. ID. Mason Co.
j. TOME, President of the Cecil Bank.
J. 5. BEACHAM, of J. S. Beacham Brs.
J.F DIX, of Dix Steiner.
j. LEARI, off Leary & Co.
A. A. PERRY, Commission Merchant
II. c. SMITH, of Tucker Smith,
X. NJ. SP1LLER, of Spillcr Alcock.
L. KIMBERLY, of Kimberly Bros.
j. HARTMAN. South Gay street.
S. p. TOWNSEND, of VIM. Chestnut Co
b. F. PARLETT ofB. F. Parlett Co.
j. S. FORBES, Builder.
c, W. HUMRICHQUSE, of c. w. Humrichouss
4 Co. TH0S. Y. CANDY, Pres't
FRANCIS j. McGrSSrss, See'y
E. N. AlSQUlTH, Agent at Charlestows.
Nov. 2, 1865.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01

A CLERGYMAN lately addressed his female
auditory as follows "Bc not proud that our
blessed Lord paid your sex the-distinguished
honor Of appearing first to female after the
resurrection. for it was only done that the glad
tdipqs might be spread the sooner.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01

A sHREwD confectioner Of Waterbury, has
taught his parrot to say pretty creature to
every lady who enters the store. His custom
is rapidly increasing.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01

a MICHIGAN soldier, arrested for stealing a
goose, said he found the bird Kissing at the
American flag and arrested him for treason.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01
TO THE PUBLIC.
G. Won RLTCHER.

Baseucrt If SoPPingon Hotel Charle'iotrn,
4 NNOUNCES to the public that he has for sale
\ by Wholesale d Retail the purest LIQUORS
offered to the people Of this Valley. His stock con
sists of
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01

An old gentleman remarked the other day
that in l776 we went to war on account of the
stamp act, and got the niger; while in 1861
We went to war about the niger, and got the
stamp act.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01
G.. LE1sEYKING. C.. W. LEIsENRTNG.
IEISENRING &c SON,
HARPERS-FERRY.
CHARIFSTOWN.
RIPP0N,

VETHERE they keep large assortment of DRY
w GOODS, such as
Cloths, Cashmeres, Calicoes, Cottons, Ginghams,
Lawns Ready made Clothing, &c.
Also, Ladies' Fancy Goods, Fancy Soaps,
Perfumery, Extracts for ilavoring,
Boots, Shoes Ladies' Caters,
Gcntlemen's Linen and Paper Collars,
Neck Ties and Gloves, &C.,
Floor Mating, Oil Cloth, Carpeting, &C.,
Leather of all kinds, and Shoe Findings,
GROCERIES, such as
Moldsses, prime Syrup, Sugars,
Oils of all kinds. Paints, Fish, &c.
Hardware of all kinds,
Drugs and Medicines-Spices, Canned Fruit.
Tin and Wooden Ware-Measures of all kinds
STATI0NERY.-Sc Books, Writing Paper
Envelopes, States, &C., &C., &C.
lzz1~ Goods specially ordered promptly attended
to-cne Of tie firm visiting Baltimore every week
Jz6~ All kinds Of C0UNTRf PROD ICE Ia
ken in exchange for goods.
August q, 1865.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01
HOUSE AND LOT FOR SALE.

TNHE HOUSE and LOT, now in the occupancy of
Michael Pilker, IN Charlestown, adjoining the
residence of the late Vim. johnson, on West
street, is offered for sale. For further informa-
ton, apply to s.. White, Charlestown.
TH0S. S. R0KENBAUGH.
Jan. 4, 1866
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01
Connecticut :

ADDRESSED by a priest to the Legislature Of
Connecticut:
For cutting all connections famed
Connect i-cut is fairly named!
/ twain connect in ono, but YOU
Cut those whom connect in two,
Each legislature seems to say
What YOU Connecticut away.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01
BALTIMORE ADvERrIsEMENTs

rENHE POPULAR
CLOTHING HOUSE.
BOYS JACKETS,
BOYS PANTS,
MEMS EINE CLOTH COATS,
MEMS SACK COATS,
MEMS ENGLISH WALKING COATS.
MEMS FRENCH SACK COATS,
MEMS SPRING 0vERCoATs,
MEMS BLACK PANTS,
MEMS FANCY PANTS.
WE HAVE
THE BEST
AND. FINEST STOCK
OF
MEMS
BOYS CLOTHING
IN THE CITY.
All at less than Gold Ra,esi
AT
SMITH BROS. ! co.'s,
MARBLE HALL CLOTHING HOUSE,
40 WEST BALTIMORE STREET,
BALTIMORE.
October u. lSG5-ly.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01
SAPPIN GTON HOTEL,
Gaal35St0UH, JegerSUH COlm[y, "a,
BY

- -. |''A 80 49,
CONTINUES open for the reception and accom-
I mediation Of visitors. The Rooms are in com
plete order, wellfurnished and comfortable, the
Parlors large and commQdious, and the TABLE at
al times supplied with the choicest viands Of the
Country and City Markets.
The Servants are attentive, and constantly in at
tendance for the accommodation and convenience
of guests
The Proprietres5 is determined to sustain the
We-estabshed reputation of the House.
The public patronage is solicited.
Aug. p, 1855.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01
The old Family Grocer

T5NliE undersigned is pleased to inform his old
friends, and the citizens of the county generally
that he has again re-opened, with
Ne'r Stock and FIJI Supply, his Grocery Store,
At the old stand of II. l.. Ely 4 Son, Charlestown.
To particnarize the numerous articles in store for
the necessities and general convenience of families
is unnecessary, as every article in his line that is
needed will either be found on hand or obtained a;
the earliest day. The motto in trade now being
"quick sales and short profits" il is his intention
to sell all articles cheap they be procured
elsewhere. He therefore appeals with confidence
to old customers and the public generally for rea-
sonable share OF their support.
Aug. "a, 1865. w. EBY.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01

"WuL, Charley said an anxious gent to
an qrchin of three years, on Christmas day,
"what did YOU find in your stocking this morn
ing?'
Find, father, replied the hopeful, "why
found a big hole
The father gave the boy one cent.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01
Jefferson Machine shop

EIHE public is respectfully notified that the un
dersigned continue to conduct business at the
old stand, "Nalers Row," Charleston, Jefferson
CoU.ty.
MACHINE MAKING and REPAIRING.
CARRIAGE & WAGON MAKING
AND REPAIRING.
Also, BLACKSUITHiNG in all its branches
Weareprepared to manufacture to order Ploughs
HarrOws, Wagons-in fact almost anything per
tanning to Hood and Iron, in the speediest and bes
manner, and upon reasonable terms.
Special attention bestowed upon the Manufacture
and Repair of Farming Implements, Mill work and
Axes. WERLICH & WELLER.
August q, 1865.
gzS~Iighest cash prices paid for Old Iron
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01
j. II. Icasterday.s

TIN, SHEET IRON AND STOVE HOUSE.
Nah Street, Chorlesto,rn, Va,
II EPS constantly on hand every description Of
IN TIN AND SHEET IRON WARE. Also. a
fun assortment of STOVES will be kept on hand for
the Fall trade.
JOB WORK of every kind pertaining to the bu-
siness made TO order by the best workmen and best
materials, and at the lowest prices. Particular at
tentlon paid to Tn Roofing, GUtiering DC
%sn Cotton Rags, B5esvax, Old Copper, Brass.
iron, PEWTER and Lead. Sheepskins, Hides, Bacon,
in exchange for Tin WarC OF Tin Work.
August "a, lSe5.--y.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01

THE Rocky Mountain News tells Of an en-
thusiastic young Missourian who eulosisingthe
beauty of his gal, said: "Ill be logged if she
sin't as pretty as a red wagon
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01

QULP, whose little boy has a peRchaut for
travelling on the roof aud cutters Of his house.
nickuames the little fellow " Gutter Perchcr.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01

honor Of appearing first to female after the
resurrection, for it was only done that the glad
tdines might be spread the sooner.
A COUPLE in Oregon got tired Of living to-
retber. and mutually signed paper which they
drew up for themselves-the wife giving her
obeloved husband full divorce, and wishing
him all the happiness he could Get, and the
husband giving lis wife "a little rat eoiorcd
mule"
ADDRESSED by a priest to the Legislature Of
Connecticut:
Forcut-ting all connections famed
Connecticut is fairly named
twain connect in one, but YOU
Cut those whom i connect m two
Each legislature seems to say
What YOU Connecticut away.
THERE is an undertaken in Newbern who IS
An embalmer. and when his wife died, he exer-
cised his art upon her in his best style, and no"
keeps her in his room to exhibit as specimen
of his art. tapping her upon the forehead to
show its frmness, and saying, "This IS all OF
my poor Betsey"
JOSH Billings says II could not find the
meaning of the word collide in Worcester or
Webster. But riding the other day on the n.
.R.R.Isaw tall. It's the attempt Of
two trains to pass one another on a single
track. If remember correctly, it was sig
nal failure.
A Philadelphia editor thinks, from the man
ner shirts are made in that city, that there ought
to be an inspector ofcommon sewers. The edi-
tor went to the expense ola new shirt the other
dav. and found himself when he awoke in the
morning, crawling out between two of the shOr-
test stitches.
A sHREwD confectioner of Waterbury, has
taught his parrot to say pretty creature to
every lady who enters the store. His custom
is rapidly increasing.
A MICHIGAN soldier. arrested for stealing a
goose, said he found the bird Kissing at the
American flag and arrested him for treason.
-O-
An old gentleman remarked the other day
that in 1776 we went to war on account of the
stamp act, and got the Niger; while in 1861
We went to war about the niger, and got the
stamp act.
SWELL, Charley said an anxious gent to
an urchin of three years, on Christmas day,
"what did YOU find in your stocking this morn
ing?7
Find, father, replied the hopeful, ''why I
found a big hole
The father gave the boy one cent.
THE Rocky Mountain News tells Of an en-
thusiastic young Missourian who eulogisinsthe
beauty of his gal, said an be logged if she
sin't as pretty as a red wagon"
QUmP, whose little boy has a peHcbant for
travelling on the roof aud cutters of his house.
nickuames the little fellow Gutter Perchcr
IT is a mooted question as to what material
is best for bed comforters-wool and cotton be-
ing named. But a report Of committee at q
recent country fair settled the question as fol-
lows: Best Bed Comiorter-Miss Mary Hall.
THE cutter" most parts Of the earth are sup
posed to be the parts where there are most wo-
men.
SHoRGE' why is the james River like keg
Of lager beer? Because they both flow into the
Dutch Gap Canal.
DIcKESs is looking grey and anxious. His
lahors have played the dickens With him.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01

THE cutter most parts Of the earth are sup
posed to be the parts where there are most wo-
men.
Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-01

SHoRGE' why is the james River like a keg
oflager beer? Because they both flow into tho
Dutch Gap Canal