The daily phoenix. [volume] (Columbia, S.C.) 1865-1878, 1866-03-07

nil, Arp Addresses the Lebanon Law
school. and Gives his own sad FIX
uericnec.

nil, Arp Addresses the Lebanon Law
school. and Gives his own Sad Tx
pericnec.
M1LLEDeEvIEL, Feby, 1866.
Messrs. c. c. Cummings and otaea's,
Committee.
GENTLE MEN: / have reserved your
kind invitation to address your law
skool. In the situation by which 1
am surrounded, it is imposslbul for
me to 60. Iwish could, for would
like to tell you all I know about law,
and it wouldent take me long. Tn
now in the law bisness myself ut this
plase. We are engaged in manufak
turin it by wholesale, and after awhile
it will be retailed out by the lawyers
to any that wants it. Its an easy
bisness to make law, though some of
the bills introduced are awfully spelt.
To-day, I saw q bill in which ma
sheenery" was spelt with two esses
and four ease. But the greatest dii-
fculty is in understandin the law
after it is made Among lawyers,
this difikulty don't seem to lie so
much in the head as in the pocket.
For five dollars, lawyer can lumin-
ize some, and more akkordin to pay
But he oughent to luminize but one
side at time. The first case I ever
had in justice court, I employed old
Bob Liggins, who was sorter Of q
self-educated fool. I give him two
dollars in advance, and he argued the
case, as thought, on two sides, and
was more luminous agin than for me.
I lost the case, and found out after
wards that the defendant had en-
ployed Liggins after I did, and give
him five dollars to lose. look upon
this as warnin to all clients to pay
big fees and keep your lawyers out of
aentution.
My experience in litigation have
not been satisfactory. I sued Sugar
Black onst for the price of load of
shuks. He said he wanted to buy
some rufness, and I agreed to bring
him load of shuks for too dollars
My wagin got broke and he got tired
a waitin, and sent out after the shuks
hisself. When I called on him for
pay, he seemed surprised, and sed it
had cost him too dollars and half to
have the shuks hauld, and that I
iestly ovid him a half dollar. He
was bigger than Twas, SO swallowed
my bile and sued him. His lawyer
Piled q set off for haulin. He pied
that the shuks was unsound; that
they were bard by limitations; that
they dident agree with his COW, and
that he never got any shuks from me-
He spoke about an hour, and allooded
to me as a swindler about 45 times.
The bedeviled jury went out and
brought in verdik agin me for fifty
cents and four dollars for costs OF
suits I have saved nary shuk on my
plantation since, and don't intend
to until it gets less expensive. I look
upon this is q warnin to all folks
neuer 10 90 to Iaac about shaeks, or any
other small circumstance.
The next trouble I had wus with q
feller who I hired to dig me well.
He was to dig it for twenty dollars,
and I WIS to pay him in meat and
meal, and sich like. The vagabond
kept gittin along until he got all the
pay, but hadent got nary foot in the
grown. So I made out my akkount,
and sued him as follers, to wit:
Old John Hanks to Bill 4up Dr.
To 1 Well you dident dig $40
Well, Hanks, he hired cheap law
yer, who rard round extensively, and
sed heap of funny things at my
expense, and finally dismissed my
case for what he called its 'ridikulum
absurdum' I paid those costs, and
went home sadder and wiser man.
I pulled down my little cabin, and
moved it some 800 yards higher to
the spring, and I've drunk nifty little
we'll water since 1 look upon this
case as warnin to all folks never to
pay for anything till you've got it,
espeshially if it has to be lug.
The next law, case l had I gained it
all by myself by the force of cirkum-
stances I bought mans note that
was given for the hire of nigger
boy, Dix. Findin he wouldent pay
me, I sued him before old Squire
McGinnis, beleevin it was sich dead
thing that the devil couldent keep
me out of verdik. The feller's at
torney plead failure of consideration,
and non set tiahtana, and ignis fauis,
and infancy, and that the nj igger's
name wasent Dix, but Richard. The
old squire was a powerful secesh, and
hated the Yankees amazin. So, after
the lawyer had got through his
speech and finished up his readin
froD, q hool co11oJ eICk,oo,1o.f T