Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1866-03-22
INTPKONTPII
l met friend the other day,
Whose coat was c d.
When told, no wonder, You Will say
His pockets We're quite VI I.

! 4 STORY is told of an inveterate drinker,
Who after great deal of solicitation signed the
temperance pledge, but soon after noticed to
mbibe as frequently as ever. To his friends, who
demonstrated with him. he replied that the docu-
ment which he had signed WAS illegal, and OF no
binding force, because it had upon 1t no internal
revenue stamp
WHAT notes compose the most tavorlte
| tunes?-and how many tunes do they compose
Bank-nOtes-they make fortunes.
WE observe a magazine article with the
inviting title, Under the Lash, by One who has
been Flogged" Pleasant reading II the announce
ment is to be read literally We suppose it will
be followed by Under the Gallows, by One who
has been Hanged"
SELFGsH.-0ne individuals selfshness
doubles that Of Others and his again redoubles
that and so layer upon layer Of ice is frozen.
Truth cannot die it passes from mind
to mind, imparting light in its progress, and con-
stantly renewingits own brightness during the diff
fusion.
0PPoRTUN with every oppor
| tunity. And as you do not know when opportu-
nifty will happen keep your graphing irons always
ready.
Do RIGHT.-If you would convince man
that he does wrong do right. But do not to
convince him. Men will believe what they see
Let them
lie that good thinketh good may Go,
And God may help him thereunto
For never was good work wrought
Without beginning OF good thought
-IeaaySon.
SEEKING FOR TRrrH.-The labors to try
mans soul and exalt it, are the search for truth
beneath the mysteries which surround creation, to
gather amaranths shining with the Lues OF heaven.
from plains upon which hang, dark and heavy, The
mists of earth.
SIR Walter Scott, in lending a book one
day to friend, cautioned him to be punctual in
returning it. This is really necessary" said the
poet in apology for though many of my friends
are bad d5tmeticiaaS, observe almost all OF them
are good booh-keperS.'
4 srRGRoN. who was bald was on a visit
to a friends house, whose servant wore wig.
After banterng him a considerable time the doctor
said: You see how bald I am, and yet I don't
wear wig True, sir, replied the servant ;
but IN empty barn requires no thatch
PRovERBIAL EPIGRAMs.
| Why pine with unavaling grief
At tresses few and grey?
The widest hope could he er expect
Two mornings in one day
! The following advertisement exhibits
good specimen of the mSdlTdngemcnt of words ::
| LOST "A small lady's watch with white face ;
| also two ivory young ladys olk-boxes. A ma
hogany gentleman's dressing-case, and a small
pony, belonging to young lady. with one eye
A Down East editor wants to know why
editors are not blessed with donation visits as
clergymen are for editors, it is we'll known, are
proverbal for their kindness of heart works of be-
nevolence, and excessively tender disposition to
anybody and everybody who has an awfully dull
axe to grind.
THE following anecdote is told OF Daniel
OConnel. Meeting prolific pamphleteer, whose
productions generally found their way to the but
ternan, he said, Il saw something very good in
your new pamphlet this morning. "Ah rephed
the gratifed writer, what was itf' "A pound of
butter" WAS the reply
A WARNING needed at all fashionable as
semblages-Look out for paint
WHAT is the worst seat man can sit on?
-Self-con-ceH
IT has been discovered that Otheilo held
legal as well as a military Office in Venice. He
was a-tawny-general.
: A CoQUETrE is said to be a perfect incar
nation of Cupid, and she keeps her beau in qulv-
er.
"GooD blood will show ITSELF as the old
lady said when she was struck with the redness OF
her nose.