Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1866-10-12
school and only Ellen and myself were at


twenty dollars in visiting us.
L began to make myself into a gentleman
patronized the barber and his unguents-
and cultivated a moustache, which was my
beau ideal Of perfection. | wore bright
colored neckties, and sported gold watch
and invested three dollars in a rattan, anC
SIX dollars In beaver, which always gave
me the headache, and made me look precise
ly like an inverted candle mould. But nc
matter for that, so long as I was fashiona
ble
made the acquaintance of several charm
ing young ladies, among whom was Miss
Flora Van VOORHEES,, the belle of the street
on which we lived Flora was beauty,
and one of the most fastidious creatures in
the world. Nothing was quite good and
elegant enough for her. She would moi
have breathed the common air if she could
conveniently have dispensed with it and il
the soles OF her dainty boots touched the
soil OF mother earth, it affected Flora &
| nerves so badly, that she had a headache for
hours afterward
/ was raised to the seventh heaven and
lemon colored kids by her preference and
every night devoutly prayed that some of
my relatives would appear and nip the
| whole thing in the bud.
Five months rolled away, and began to
| feel at ease. None of them had troubled
US, and We had not heard from them in any
! way | INDUCED the hope that they had
forgotten US. So, think, did my mother,
1 who had become quite genteel, and had
formed some very genteel acquaintance.
| One morning when Mrs St Michael, and
! Mrs Loery, two of our most distinguished
acquaintance, were in the parlor with my
mother, one OF the railway hacks stopped
at our front door. An indefnable dread
seized me. / felt myself growing as cold as
peeled frog. From the hack there issued
three bandboxes, two trunks, a butter box
a handled basket, bundle in brown paper,
an nmbraella, and lastly a green poke bon
net, beneath which distinguished the little
wizened face of my fathers oldest sister
Aunt Sally Nutter. The very black sheep
of the whole flock of relatives
Bring EN- all right into the entry she
called, IN stentOrian voice, IN to hum
here. This Is brother Jason house. La
Jason got up in this world sense he used
to peddle Holsters 1t was a lucky thing
for him when he went to making pills, and
got doctor hitched on before his pane /
lxplct Martha so big you can't tech her
with ten foot pole, But law she needn' t
try to put on extras with me | know EN-
all, root and branch egg and bird l' and
she burst into the room, carrying her bas-
ket and bandboxes.
The blinds were drawn, and Aunt Sally's
foot struck against an ottoman, which
brought her dom, basket bundles and all
to the floor. The cover of the basket few
open and out rolled seven dozen of eggs
most OF which were smashed by the fall,
put some Nere IN good state Of Dresn~---
ton. ~
Cling from the ruins, there goes. seven
dozen Of eggs And brung EN- here to git
thirty cents a dozen they hain't but fifteen
at Brownsville What on airth do you have
your house so dark for ? Anybody sick, or
dead or gwine to be ? 1t smells mouldy
here Do open Winder, so | can see an
inch before my nose
Ny mother red and discomposed, threw
open blind Aunt Sally rushed up to her.
"Why. Martha, how tickled / am to see
you You look as natural as life, only
it seems to me, you begin to show your age
Wall taint to be wondered at A wo-
man that's brung up so many children as
you have, when she gets to be fifty year old,
viii naturally begin to look old And
here's Jim, | declare why how you We
crowd But | must say you hain't crowd
handsome !
to- He's a going to be the express image
of his granther -hain' t he Martha Jest
the same drop to his under jaw But
who's these ere people here? Some of
your city friends, Ireckon p
Mrs. Leroy lifted her eye glass, and sur
veyed aunt Sally with an I'LL concealed con-
tempt
''Ho no | reckon your nigh sighted,
marin thought so the mint | seed your
eyes Eyes that is kinder faded out, and
reddish like yourn, is apt to be weak. Ever
| tried roseleaves stepped in milk p
Mrs. Leroy arose, and drew her skirt
around her Her face was as red as her
eyes She spoke very pointedly.
Il think | viii be going, Mrs. Brown
you have other company vastly more anu
sing
My poor mother stammered out some
thing, and followed the ladies into the hall.
Aunt Sally brought up the rear, crying out:
You better do something for your eyes
rite off They look dreadfully can see
it clean here
My mother drew my aunt back.
Il viii show you up stairs now if you
please, said she.
"Oh no | don't keer about seeing your
house just yet. There Il be ,tipo, enypff for
- l.
stay four or FIVE weeks I'm tired Eow
them pesky keers has eanamost shook me
all to peices And then your roads here is
so rocky. got all jouneed up! 1t lived
here, I'd have the rocks picked out of the
the roads if had to do it myself.
/ seized my hat and left the house. 1
was too much excited to stay In aunt Sally
society any longer at present. Anything
was better than staying at homewith her.
rushed down the first little street that
offered but my course was soon stopped by
a crowd, among which the star of police
man shone conspicuous.
II say didn't do it I" Cried a some
what familiar voice, pitched on an extreme
" high key. ''I'll tell you | didn't tech it /,
and If you don tlet me alone, / II knock you
down by hokey Halo there's my cousin
Jim He knows me, and he Il tell you that
I'm jest as henest feller as the day is long"
| shuddcred Here was another of my
relatives and at little distance | recogni-
zed the glossy tile of Dick Van Voorhies,
-.Flora' brother
81 say Jim r. cried my cousin, Tom
Brown, fourishing his arms at me, come
here this mint, and tell this man / hain6t a
piekpocketl | say, Jim
81 don't know you J stammeTed | and
taking step backward, | stumbled over the
stand of candy and apple woman, upset1
ting the whole concern, and myself besides.
The woman was angry, as she had right
to be and she called me some very hard
names In a very strong brogue, and hit me
two severe blows with long handled, two