The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1866-05-12
ALL SORTS OF ITEMS.

by the side of log.
ALL SORTS OF ITEMS.
Mr.. Smythe has been confirmed as collector of |
| the port of New York.
The government has notified JEFF. Davis and |
his counsel to prepare for trial.
Motto for the ladies' last Acknowledged |
your calves.
fwenty-one United States senators were born |
in New England.
The Iowa democratic state convention will be
| on the 18th day July next, at Des Moines.
| Senator DoolittIe warns the radicals that the
next election will be their overthrow.
| A bachelor arithmetician says girl is a sam
| when she causes one to sigh for he
They have SO many "Flora McFlimseys" in
Paris at present that marriage is becoming an
| uncertainty.
A large number of postmasters..in Winconsin
have suddenly become dubious and dumb on po-
litical question.
female writer says the "nation wants a
man." Perhaps she has COMPOUNDED her own
personal want with that CT the nation.
A man in Springfield, Mass has invented a pa
per skirt for ladies. 1t will be found very con-
| venient.
"What flower of beauty shall marry?' said
| a handsome young spendthrift to his maerly
governor; to which the governor replied, ''Mari-
gold"
DR.. Abernethy used to tell his pupils that all
human diseases sprung from two causes-stuf-
fng and fretting.
| Several freedwomen in Columbus, Miss, drew
up their carriages, in full Dress before some Of
the principal stores, and commanded the clerks
to bring out the goods for their inspection.
st. Louis has population Of $4,000, 81
, churches "a newspapers, 80 public and 81 pr-
vate schools, universities other colleges, A
breweres, II distilleries, and 1851 saloons.
'What are you making, my little seamstress ?"
asked visiting lady to one of the schools. 'Is
it chemise ?"
mo, my lady," replied the child, bashfully,
} "its hsmise."
Black Hawk, the Indian chief, when asked how
much he weighed, replied "As am, 1 weigh
one hundred and fifty pounds, but when / am
mad, weigh a ton"
! An Indian out west heard to make the
following remark, on seeing one of our fashiona-
BILE (hooped) ladies'; ugh! much wigwam."
"Ah. doctaw, does the choleraw awfect the
hghaw awda.' "No," replied the doctor to the
exquisite, ''but it's death fools, and you'd bet
ter leave the city at once"
What is that dog barking at >" asked fop
whose boots were more polished than his ideas.
# why" said bystander, he sees another puppy
, in your boots J"
Some young ladies of Knox College, H., be
n ing facetously inclined went bender nnd
e got stupidity drunk on whisky. They were
s rightly expelled without ceremony.
4 Il say, Jim, SAYS one friend to another Oh
- meeting, Il hear friend A. has been in the
/ oil speculation heavily; has he made any thing 81
e eyes" says Jim, she has made an assignment
A Memphis minister thinks it is the duty O.
# the pulpit to pray for JEFF. Davis. The Memphi:
d Republican retorts: 'Don't you do it. for
e prayed for the southern confederacy, and we al
know its fate"
e Father" said a cobbers boy, as he was peg
ging away at an old shoe, ''they say that trout
o bite now"
e "Well, well,'' replied the old gentleman, 'sticl
1t to your work and they won't bite you"
q The late Bishop Fitzpatrick used to tell with
. great JUNCTION, of bill of fare he once saw in
Partisan eating house, where they professed tC
at cook beef steak like the English: "Beufstek
u Ia god dam"
''Who is that foreign lady with the low Gu
dress ?" asked Quilp of bystsnder at party
the other evening. THAT is Miss Chemiseof,
- Russian lady," was the reply, land appropri
y ate name il is"
u Some ladies were talking about the size anc
e style of clothing to be forwarded for fair. Ont
'h said: ''Now think we ought to make prett
10 large lot of baby Clothes for you know there's
* danger of their getting out of use"
rs A little boy in a Brooklyn Sunday School wa
d asked, lately, &c say which was the beauti
D. Universe in the bible. After some hesitation h
1t replied, blushingly, ''If any pulls down tn
American flag, shoot him on the spot"
IN Lord Norbury's joke on the attorneys is saw
~ age. shilling subscription having been set OF
j. foot to bury one who had died poor, he exclaim
- - ed, "Only shilling to bury attorney !
Here's guinea; 60 and bury twenty of them !!
young wife demonstrated with her husband
ts o dissipated spendthrift, on his conduct. IN
Gu love-" said he, 81 am only like the Prodiga So
pg i shall reform by-and-by." "And / will b
i like the Prodigal Son, too" she replied. "for
will arise and 60 to my father" and accordingl
off she went
it A wide awake minister, who found his cor
We gresation going to sleep Sunday before h
ID had fairly commenced, suddenly stopped and e,
'Pt claimed "Breathern, this isn't fair; it ism
y giving man half a chance. Wait till / &c
'h; along piece, and then if ant worth listenin
!, to, go to sleep; but don't go before get con
nat menced; give man chance"
he few nights ago, Mr. Bodkip-,who had bee
ne out taking his glass and pipe-on going HON
~, late, borrowed umbrella; and when hi
re- wifes tongue was loosened, he sat up in bed an
he suddenly spread the parachute. "What 20
an going to do with that thing?" said she. "Why
ing my DEAR expected very severe storm to-nigh
"a and came prepared" In less than twenty mil
utes Mrs. Bodkin was fast asleep
'tDid you see Dennis Mahony steal the pig?"
'tWell. not exactly, yer honor, but met hi
the day Widow Flarety lost her grunter and, an
,n- SEE |,
to '.Hillo Denis" -
pit ''Hillo; SEE he.
Ia "Ah, ?" sezI I.
nd "Oh, no !" seq he
ro- "The divil !" seq l.
,nt ''The divil i'' says he.
is. And that's all | know about the pig, yer hoi
vn or"