Clarksville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1865-1867, 1866-03-09
From the Republican Banner.
... BILL A RIP
Addresses the Lebanon Law School, and
Gives His Own Sad Experience.

Addresses the Lebanon Law School, and
Gives His own Sad Experience.
MLLEDGEvTLLE, Feby 1866.
Messrs. c. G. Cummings and others, Committee.
GESrLEMEN-I have received your kind invita-
ion 10 eddress your law skool In the situation ty
which ! am surrounded II is impossibul for me to
go. wish could, for would like TO tell you all
! know about law, and IL wouldent take me ,ong
I'm now in the law bisness myself at this place, we
are engaged in manufakturin it by wholesale, and
after while it will be retaied out By the lawyers
to any body that wants it. Its an easy bsiness TO
make law though some of the bills introduced arc
awfully spet. To-day saw bill in which 'ma-
sheenry' wns speh with two esses and four ease
But the greatest dfikulty is understandin the law
after it is made. Among lawyers this dfikulty
don't seem to lie so much in the head, as in the
pocket. For FIVE dollarz lawyer can luminize
some, and more akkordin TO pay. But he oughtent
to luminize but one eide at time. The first case
| ever had in jestice court, | employed old Bob
Liggins who was sort of a sefeducated fool
give him two dollars in advance, and he argued the
case as ] thought on two Sides and was more
luminous agin me than for me- ] lost the case, and
found out afterwards that the defendent had en-
ployd Liggins after did, and give him five dollars
to:lose my case. look upon this as warnin TO all
clients to pay big fees and keep your lawyer out of
temptation.
My experience in litigation have not been s1tis-
faktory. sued Sugar Black onst for the price OF
load OF shL KS. lie SAID he wanted TO buy some
rufness and agreed to bring him lead of SINKS
for too dollars. My wagin got broke and he got
tired wai,in, and sent out after the shuks hissef.
When called on him for the pay, he seemed
surprised and sed il had cost him too dollars and
nan 10 nave the shuks haud, ana that Jestly owd
him half dollar. He was bigger than l was,
SO swaiioId my Dlle ana sued MN. MS lawyer
ntn.a S1H G. L,.,l 1AI skaN neIx,,l
p'eu a SET on TOT hanlin. lie plea that tne shuks
was unsound; that they were bard by limitations;
That they dldent agree with his COW, and that he
never got any shuks from me. He spoke about an
hour, and allooded to me rs swlnder ABOUT 40
times. The bedevild jury went out and brought IN
verdk agn me for fifty cents and four dollars
Tor costs OF suit. hant saved nary shuk on my
plantation since, and don't intend to until 1t gifts
less expensive look upon this as warnln to all
ioks never TO go TO law aout shuks, or any other
small circumstance.
The next trouble had wus with feller who
hired TO dig meawell. He wus to dig 1t TO: twenty
dollars, and wus to pay him in meat and meal,
and slch like. The vagabond Kept Citing along
until he got all the pay, but hadn't dug nary foot
IN the grown. so made out my aakount, and
sued him as folers to-wit;
Old John Hanks to Bill Arp. DR..
10 ! well you ddent dig $50.
Well, Hanks he hired cheap lawyer, who rard
around extensively, and sed heap OF funny things
at my expense and finally dismissed my case for
Shat he called its "ridiculum absurdum." paid
those costs, and went home sadder and wiser
man. pulled down my little cabin and moved ii
some 300 yards higher to the spring, and I've
drunk nifty little well water since. look upon
upon this case as a warnin to all folks, never to
pay for anything till you've got it, especially if it
has TO be dug.
The next law case had gained it all by my
self by The force of circumstances. bougl a
mans note that was given for the hire of niger
boy, Dix. Findin he wouldcnt pay me, sued him
before old Squire McGinnis, beleesin it was such
dead thing that the devil couldent keep me out OF
verdik. The fellers attorney plead failure o
consideration, and not est tdkhurn, and gna .tdi,'
and infancy and that the niger name was not DIX
but Richard. The old squire was powerful e 'esh
and hated the Yankees amazin. 50. after the
lawyer had got through his speech and huished NJ
his readin from book called "Greenleaf rose
forward to an attitood. Stretchin forth my arm
ses ]. Squire McGnnis, would ask, sur, If this
is time in the history OF our aiiiikted country
when Federal law books should be admitted in a
Southern patriot courtY Haven't we seeded for
ever from their foul dominatlonf Don't our flag
Wave over Fort Sumter, and what sur, have we go
to do with Northern lawsI On the very hrs
page of the gentlemans book seed the name o.
the city of Bosiing. Yes, sur, 1t was written in
Bosting, published in Bostng and sold in BIsiing
where they don't know no more about the hire ol
. niger than an OK knows the man who will tan
u his hide, sed some more things that was p'nted
and patrotik, and closed my argument by handir
the book TO the squire. lie put on his spektakles
and after lookin at the book about mnet, ses he
: "Mr. Arp, yon can have Judgment, and hope
n that from henceforth and for ever, no lawyer vii
persoom 10 come before this honorable court with
e psen documents to prove his case. If he do this
e court will take it as an insult and send him tc
b Jail"
e look upon this case ms warnin 10 all folks who
g gamble in law to hold good hand and play il
!. well. High jestice and patriotism are winnir
i trumps.
n After this had difficulty with man by the
l. name of Kohen, and thought wouldent go tC
S law, but would arbytrate. | had bought Tom Sw
n lins wheat at a dollar bushel if he wouldent dc
c any better, and if he could do better he was tc
n come back and give me the preferpnce The skamI