The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1866-07-07

40 thunuGreu keith, I've other hsh
TO fry
Tho boy put his thumb TO his nose, aud
Mr.. Keith. after slaming the door--as men
always do when they out Of temper-re.
turned TO the kitchen. The fro was out.
and the room decidedly smoky.
I'll go down in the cellar and bring up
some coal said he. and started briskly
down tho stairs. On the second step he
put his foo: through rip in his dress skirt,
stumbling and foil 20 the bottom Of the
cellar. smashed a basket Of eggs and knock
ing over shelf loaded with pans Of milk
'Dence take Il ! exclaimed he. scrambling
ia his feet, and rubbing his head. how do
the women manage with these Internal long
dresses? ! shall break my neck with this
yet
Tho ire made again, Mr. Keith be.
thought him OF dinner. lie looked nj his
tlme-piece--.it was one 0'clock-.almost
time Tor callers. What shall be have for
dinner? lie had heard his wife say a rice
pudding. boiled potatoes aud boiled stake.
lie filled the basin with rice, stirred in a
little sugar, dropped in an egg. aud set the
vessel into an oven. The potatoes he wash.
I'd ia soapsuds, that they certainly might
be clean. aud put them into tho teakettle
because they would boil quicker.
The steam was lrizzing in the frying pan
and he was preparing to set the table when
the bell rang
He caught up the pan from the fire, to
keep il from burning, and made haste 20
the front door. Then he remembered il
would not be just tho thing TO 60 to the
door with tho Trying pan n his hand, SO he
deposited it on the parlor sofa and answer.
ed tho ring.
Mrs. Dr. Nudge was on tho steps dress.
I'd m all her best
j. Mrs Keith al home {!
My wifv is absent.' stammered Keith.
aud am playing Bridget. Walk in.
Mrs. Nudge sailed into the parlor. which
was darkened 10 exclude the sun. aud with.
on, stopping to look at her seat, sunk into
the irving pan On the sofa.
Jupiter cried MT. Keith. YOU have
done il now
Mrs. Nudge sprang up. the grease drip.
ping from the rich silk on the carpet. Her
face grew dark. She was tempted 10 say
something cutting but managed to control
herself. bowed haughlily. and swept out Of
the house.
Keith returned 10 the kitchen q little
crcst-iallen. for Mrs. Nudge was lady be-
fore whom he desired to appear particularly
we'll
There was a tremendous cracking in the
oven. lie thought Of bis pudding aud
looking IN. The burnt rice had hopped all
over the oven. the basin had melted apart
and the pudding was not done. lie shut
the door in upon the ruins in disgust. aud
looked after his POTATOES only to fnd them
boiled TO perfect jelly
Just as he had made the discovery. there
was sharp peal al the door bell.
Creation there's that abominablc bell
again; WISH folks would stay at home.--
After to-day III lock all the doors aud cut
all the bell wires
1t the door were found Mr.. and Mr..
Fidg.i and their children.
Ny dear Mr. Keith how do you do cri-
ei Mrs. Fidget We were in town aud
thought we'd just stop in TO dinner. Where
is Mrs. Keith.
She's gone away. said Keith ruefully.
wondering what he should feed them ON
walk in do. am housekeeper to-day
'Xes. so should judge. But Of course
You make Il splendid one. remember you
used to be frequently telling Mrs. Keith
and myself how very easy housekeeping
mus, be. 1t must be mere play TO YOU. Don't
put yourself out, | beg.
Put myself out indeedg cried Keith. re-
retreating 10 the kitchen Good gracious
what shall do. Id give hundred dol
lars If only Mary was here where shall l
begin =
lie drew ouy the table aud set il without
any cloth. then took OF the plates aud put
on cloth, the very Que be had wiped the
dishes on. The task completed. he put on
some more potatoes aud some more steak
burning his steak TO a cinder, took of his
potatoes whom he did his meat. and put all
upon the table. There was loaf Of bakers
bread in the cupboard-he paraded that
and called his guest to dinner.
4 quizzical smile spread over Mrs. Fidg.
cts face at the sight Of the repast. Keith
was in u cold Precipitation.
Ma my plates all greasy. aud 30 is my
knife | can't eat on dirty dishes. cried lit
tie johnny Fideet
And NY fork is wet all over with water
that's dropping or the table cloth and my
tater amt half billed exclaimed little Jane
Fidge,.
\ slight noise in the kitchen drew the
attention OF Mr.. Keith.
Jupiter" he cried, il Mrs. O'Flaberty's
dog aint making of with my steak
lie jumped from the table aud started in
no, pursuit The dog made the best OF il,
Keiih's unaccustoued attire was a sad
drawback aud be made but little headway.
ill him" he yelled 10 tho crowd that
joined in the pursuit 'l'll give fifteen dol
lars for his hide .
Mrs. O'Flaberty herself appeared upon
the scene with a skillet OF hot water.
Tech him if yer dar. /" she cried. III
break the bones Of every mothers son Of
yees. Stand from formust. or ye'll rue the
day.
Keith took stop forward. stepped on
the * irt OF his dress. aud pitched head first
into wine cellar. where half q dozen men
were playing cards.
The devil in petticoats = exclaimed one
Of the gamesters. and tho place empted
quicker than wink.
The police picked up Mr.. Keith. consid
erable bruised, aud carried him home. His
company had taken their departure. and
somebody not having the fear of the law
upon them. had entered and stolen hun.
dred dollars worth Of property.
Mr.. Keith sent the following note 20 bis
wife by the evening mail
DEAR MARY-Come home / give up
beat a woman does have great deal TO
do. confess myself incompetent 20 man.
age. Come home. aud you shall have a
new silk dress. aud daughter OF Erin 10
divide your labors
Yours. disconsolately.
II. kEITH.
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