Delaware gazette. [volume] (Delaware, Ohio) 1855-1886, 1866-05-04


and then another, until they all got to
gong It, all on discOrd, not the Slight
est approach to harmony, no more than
there would be with lot Of earthquakes
thunderstorms and tornados all mixed
up together
Well the curtain at last rose. and there
stood about fifty chuckle- headed chaps.
with all sorts Of fancy hXings on, made OF
calico, velvet, rags. ribbons, lace and
feathers, Of course, all the little double
1 barrelled things were leyeled at them
Presently one chap, with a sort of a Jug
/ shaped face and cat-fashioned eyes.
turned up his head and gave a short
hOwI, a sort of a cross between the wolf
and the dying wall Of a stuck pig. Soon
another, and then two more with I'M
nense bovine voices struck in, and then
they all struck IN, and made night hide
Gus with their trashy discord. About
this time the soups left the stage (They
/ were dressed IN a sort of a butternut rig
and looked like sorry lot Of rebel pris-
/ oners.) They were followed by the gew-
gaws -eroa-e., with the exception of the
| cat-eged chap and a squally-looking Wo-
I man. Then he commenced to howl, and
| bark, and below, and crow, and she
sereeched, and meWed and puFred and
/ cackled +; they run up towards each 9th
| er and ran back. Then came in a CAV
/ looking fellow with letter, and we must
say that he had the sweetest little face
/ we ever saw stuck on a boys shoulders,
/ and he hoWled very sWeetly we soon
/ discovered by the things he walked on,
! that he lUds not q boz.
/ Well, that was about all there was to
1 this round the curtain went down a
/ midst good deal of stamping. After
4 sitting there another hour, the triangle
| sounded, and the fddlers popped out, and
/ he curtain went up. This time there
was nothing on the stage but an old
/ squaW, who seemed to be making soap.
| She had large cauidTon kettle in an
arch, underneath which bright fire was
| burning at her feet was a skull, and
other human looking bones, which salts
fed US that she had been compelled, in
/ consequence of the high prices of all
kinds Of grease, to work up some old
/ lager beer fellow. The soap was nearly
done, for she was dipping In her paddle
and holding 1t up to see if 1t would string
/ (iust as our mother used to dO) but she
soon had to leave her soap, for the fat
woman came out, and they both went to
| scEeechiBg. The squaw could come the
panther to a dot, and as we thought, the
sauaW was enough for the fat woman
soon out came the chap that we knew
was not a boy, and made d noise that,
sounded some like singing then the cat
eyed fellow came IN, and they all went IN
on the screech. This round ended by
the old squaws' telling the fortune of the
cat-eyed chap and the fat woman.
After sitting there another tedious
hour, the triangle went off again Out
popped the tddlers, wIplng their mouths
as though they had something wet around
them up went the curtain, and the fat
woman came running down a hill. In
ho h1o al rsTsac
which the fat woman would run at and
howl, and then come back to the lights
and cackle and gobble, and then run at
the bones again we don't know how
long she would have kept it up 1t the cat
eyed fellow had not suddenly made his
appearance from behind a Ctump of trees,
and commenced baEling like a newly
Weaned calf Soon another fellow made
his appearance which we took to be the
fat woman S husband by the way she hid
her face and the futter she was in at be
ing caught with the cate eyed chap. This
new chap commenced roaring /; his voice
was decidedly bullfrOggian, after the
usual amount of caterwauHng, the cat
eyed chap left, and the fat woman and
the new man started for home, crying as
| loud as they could baWl they had not
gone far before they got into a row with
some other chaps, and in the row the
chap that was with her see who she was.
| You ought to have seen him double up
and howl you would of been sure he had
! the collie. and she the ST Vitus' dance.
| The other chaps laughed that round en-
| ded by his dragging the fat woman of
| from the stage wrigghDg and screeching.
| After another hour, the curtain went
up again, and there stood the fat woman,
and we suppose, the husband he had
Il L 4 J 7
/ herself in bad fix, as most females do
when they are caught by their husbands
| he run at her several times, growllnglike
! a hvena. but she made such a noise he
could not stab her and he put up his dag
ger this round ended by some more
| chaps coming in and fixing things IN an
other shape, which was to kill the cat
| eyed chap instead, as appeared IN the
| next round.
| When the curtain went up this time,
| there was a masquerade ball raging on
| the stage, and one of these girls that can
stand on one toe and throw the other
/ foot higher than her head was going it /;
| presently the cat-eyed fellow and the fat
| woman got out on one side and were going
/ It on the screech: but they did not go it
! long, for the husband found them and
! just knitted the cat-eyed chap then there
was a time; they all baWled together, and
! q u
/ before The last we see of the cat-eyed
| chap, he was lying there dead, bawllng as
4 loud as he could scream; the curtain
| went down and the thing was over.
| And now, gentle readers, permit us to
/ saw that although we have not given you
| all the details Of the performance, you
/ haze the substance, and know as much
| about 1t as we did when 1t was over !;
| frienc. Holborn, who accompanied US,
| purchased a book for forty cents that
! threw some light on the subject. ltseems
/ that it was an American scene, located IN
| Boston and vicinity, and these foreign
mGuntebanks we're giving US a represen-
| taUion Of the New England character, and
/ vet we were so stupid as not to see 1t. 1t
| seems that some Count (of course there
| are plenty of Counts among the Yankees)
| had fallen Ia love with some big man S
| Wife-and the wife had got touch OF It
| too-and that she went to this old squaW
to get something to cure it. The old
/ sduaw. recommended roots, and she was
/ off in the woods to get the roots where
the cat-eyed fellow happened accidentally
| to find her, as IS generally the case, where
| there are two that have that disease, and,
/ as is often the case for the comfort OF
such diseased persons, the husband accl-
! dentally made his appearance, and the
| thing finally ended in the husband ad-
ministering the only sure remedy in such
/ cases. When we came to learn that they
| had been trying to represent an American
| scene, our disgust was intense we would
not have believed if we had not seen 1t
| with our own eyes, that a respectable
/ American audience could have been held
| together for four hours to listen to such a
| damnable, silly mess of trash, sung in a
| foreign lingo. without the slightest APP