Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1866-01-30
How Jonah was punished-whaled.


How Jonah Nas punished-whaled.
Habits of extravagance-Ladies' dresses.
Lawyers, DOCTORS and women are all fee-males
Pestilence that wall1eth by darkness -chintzes
Quench your thirst at the well if you would be
well man.
When is good tune most relished? When If
Is oppor-tune.
Proper name for manageable young ladies'
waiting maids
A stump speaker is like river-his mouth is
the biggest part of him.
A good housewives affairs are like motion to
adJourn-always in order
A young man with a pair of fast horses soon
gallops through a fortune.
Ugly girls eggs, small waterfalls, rich printers
ana turkeys, seem to be scarce.
Don't stone your neighbour, but if you see his
baby In cradle you may rock it.
Sir, did you call me CIPHER? No, but l said
you were figure 9 with its tail cut off.
Ladies and Indians paint their faces. Ex-
tremes meet-civization and barharianism.
While looking at Niagara Falls the other day,
ayoung lady was heard to exclaim "What a
love OF waterfall
A coclney coming out of well known gam
bling-house the other night said he felt as if he
had struck Hoyle'
Wanted-A correct standard for measuring the
height OF an absurdlty, and slipper from the foot
OF a dancing moonbeam.
Refusing to pay your printers bills and robbing
a hen roost are the same thing in Dutch, only a
little differently expressed.
A Michigan editor threatens to break UP house
keeling and go boarding with his delinquent sub
ecribers. gzEs~ He'll starve.
Several papers have published an article head
ed, Professor Mitchell on the Comet" Won
der how he got such lofty seat
The Ladies-May their virtues exceed even
the magnitude of their skirts, while their faults
are still smaller than their bonnets
Fanny Fern says that the men like to "pick the
ladies to pieces" We have certainly found it
very pleasant sometimes to take one apart.
A backwoodsman saw lady at piano and
sung out Jim, jis come here. Tarnation if
here amt woman pulling music out Of her
chistl'
A man named Devlin, in Maine, has lodged a
complaint against his wife for playing practical
jokes on him while drunk. We advise her to
quit her Devel-in
Mrs. Darlington said she did not marry her sec
ond husband because she loved the male sex, but
because he was the size of her first detector, and
could wear out his old Clothes
ibid you ever present your bill to the defend
anti" inquired q lawyer of his client. II did
sir "And what did he say2 HE told me to go
to the devil" 'sAnd what did you do chen ~
''Why then-I came to YOU"
A clergyman lately addressed his female audi
tory as follows: "Be not proud that our blessed
Lord paid your sex the distinguished honor of
appearing first to female after the resurrection,
for it was only done that the glad tdngs might
be spread the sooner"
Have the jury agreed ~ asked the bailif of a
locked up set of twelve, whom he had left under
the care of his man Denny Garry, and whom he
met upon the stairs with pail in his hand. ooh,
yis," replied Denny, they have agrade to sind out
for another half gallon"
A young lady recently returned from de in
sttoot,' being asked at table if she would take
some more cabbage, replied, ''By no means, mad.
am, astronomical safety admonishes me that
have arrived at the ultimate culinary deglutition
consistent with the code of Esculapius.'
The following is the conclusion of an epitapll
on a tombstone in East Tennessee: ''She lived
in life of virtue and died of the cholera morbus
caused by eating green fruit in the full hope of a
blessed Immortality, at the early age of q years,
months and 16 days. Reader, go thou and do
likewise