The West Virginia journal. [volume] (Charleston, W. Va.) 1864-1877, 1866-08-01
Pills Prescribed by Professor Hall.
(From UaEs Journal Of Hedlth.)

Sometimes . narrator of the ludicrouS
may make mistake and cause laugh
90 tho "wrong side Of tho mouth" and
what at one time may be excessively
amusing, may at another fail to raise
even smile, for Z great deal depends
on tho state Of tho mind, but there is
scarcely ono in . thousapd Who would
not appreciate some one ofthe following:
"Out Of sight, out Of mind" but wo
don't see il; wo lost our wallet tho other
day and 1t hasn't been out Of our mind
since. =, ...
OLD AND NEw.-" What do Arabs Of
the desert live Oh, pa7" asked aroguish
girl Of her father. " Fudge, Nelly, that's
an old conundrum. They live on tho
sand ,chich is (saudwiches) thcrc."-
" Yes, but, pa, how do they got 'em ~
L" Well, really, Nelly, you have mo there.
I give it up." "Wby, pa, you know that
the sons Of Ham are bred and mustered
in the Wilderness p Come, come, my
daughter, that is too killing; don't say
another word" "Oh, yes, do tell mo
what they eat on their sandwiches p
" Eat on en- Why what do they eat on /!
'om ?" I" Butter, to DO sure." Butter?
How do they get their butter ?" "Why
you know, pa, that when Lots wife was
turned into pillar Of salt, oil tho family
but her ran into tho wilderness"
II will bet you bottle Of vino that
you will descend from that chair before
I nsk you twice." "Dono," said tho
gentleman, who seemed determined not
to obcy tho summons 50 obedicntly.-
" Come down." II will not" "Thcn
stop till I toll you . second time"
"What's that ar picture on u" asked
a countrymanin print store the other
day Of the proprietor, who was turning
some cngraviogs. "That, Sir, is Joshua
commanding the sun to stand still. -
"Du tell Which is Josh and which is
his son 2" '.. "a
What is that which Is always invisible
and never out Of sight7 Tho lctterI
Artcmus Ward thus describes bis per.
ills at sea: "Deth stared US into~the
faco. But we had rather the advantage
Of Detb. While Doth stared Us into tho
faco, there was about seventy'of uS .t.ro.
in Doth into tho face. e.11Ves 1TVhs u|RaSn! RESSns" 1
asaI'. 8dwniow DON liked it."
A lady fixed tho following letters 10
tho bottom Of q -four barrel, and asked
her husband to read tbou: O.I.C.U-
R.M.T. -
Mr.. Justice Pago was renowned for
his forocity upon tho bench: While 90,
inp tho circuit, facctious lawyer named
Grove was asked if I" tho Judge wa1 not
lust behind?" II don't know, !" said
Grove, "but if he is, I am sure ho was
mover just before"
Be temperate in diet. Our first par,
enss ate themselves out Of house and
home. =,
A fashionable but ignorant lady. dc.
sirous Of purchasing watch, was shown
very beautiful ono, tho shcp'Keepct
remarkipg that it went thirty.sl1 hours {:
/" What, 10 ono duy ?" she asked.
viii you please to help me to some
Of that butter. said q boarder to .noth'
or. "1t is strong enough to help IT.
solf." o.,
"M., Is tho portrait Of father torn z
asked little cherub Of thrcc summers.
" No, child, why do you nsk?" "Wh.y,
this morning he said, Darn my pic
turc! " =,
"Maoy men Of many minds" is no
longer a truth. A geutlelnan asked q
crowd to imbibe, the other day; With ono
consent they iid. ...
A little girl on the cars Vas askca
vha. motive wa, taking her to tho city
?" : believe they call it q locomotive,
said the little innocent:
John Randolph is said, upon one oc'
casion, to have visitc d race course near
the eity Of New York. A aa,h-lookine
stranger offered to bot him $500 on the
re,ult Of tho race, and. introducing bis
com p.nion, said: "Mr. Randolph, my
friond here, Squire TomPkins, will hold
tho stakes" " But, cir" squeated tn;
orator of Roanoke. "~ho Will hold
Squire Tompkius, afsel1 give him my
money H.,
upon some lady friaads, and was shoxs
into tho parlor BY servant g'ri; en'
asked him what name she should an
nounce and he; wishing to take them b!
surprise, replied, "AmIcus.' q friend; ;.
Ths c;rI .eemed At Hrst q little puzzled
but quickly reg.ined her composuro' ane
in the bl.ndest mnuner possible, Oh
served, " What kind osa cas' did yo'
say, .ir?"' ....7n, ,..,d
untrymsn to . gentleman near hlm .
Tho table, who stretched bis fork tovar'
the dish, a. if to ascertain tho fact, -
down, s,yiug, "ys' hr," but ''' nary ~
tster. -.
A f.x weeks after = hte marriage, tb
husband had some peculiar thought
xhen putting on bis. last clean shirt .
he saw no appearsaca Of . "washtns.
n. ths,eupon rose earlier than uiua
on. morning and kindled fire. "hel
h,neiuc on tho kettle, hs made . nois
7 on purpo,e to arouse bis easy Wiis. Sh
;mmedt,tsly peeped over the blanket'
and then exclaimed: |" Ny dear. VII,
are you doing r Hs deliberately Il