Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1866-12-14
aMisrclianu.
A Little too Punctual.

The hour was approaching for the
departure of the New Haven steam
boat from her berth at New York, and
the usual crowd of passengers, news
boys, fruit vehders, cabmen and dock
loafers were assem bled about the
boat.
We were gazing at the motley group,
from the foot of the deck stairs, when
our attention was attracted by the sin
gular action of u tall, brown Yankee,
in an immense brown hat, chocolate
colored pantaloons and coat, and fancy
vest. He stood near the starboard pad
die box, and scrutinized sharply every
female coming on board, every now
and then consulting an enormous bulls
eye watch, which he raised from the
depth of a capacious fob, by means ofa
powerful steel chain. After mounting
guard i'm this manner, he dashed furi-
ously down the gang plank and up the
wharf, reappearing again on board al
most instantly expressing the most in
tense anxiety. Thisseries corporations
he performed several times, after which
he rushed about the boat, wildly and
hopelessly circulating:
What's the time of day? Wonder
if my repeater isn't fast ? Whar's the
captain ?-Whar's the steward .
Whar's the mate :--Whar's the boss
that owns this ship?'
What's the matter, sir . we ventur-
ed to ask him, when he halted mo-
ment to get his breath.
'Hain't seen nothin' of a gal in blue
sun bonnet, with IA Canton Grape shawl
{ cost fifteen dollars pink gown and
brown boots, hey ?-come aboard while
have been looking for the Capn at
the hind part of the ship, have ye?"
NO, such person has come on board.
Tormented lightning !--she's my
wife !. he screamed married her yes.
terday All her trunks and mine n
board, under pile of baggage as tall as
a Connecticut steeple The old black
niger says he won't hand it out, aud
l won't leave my baggage anyhow.
My wife only to think of twas to
have come OH boar'l at half past four,
and here it is most FIVE. What's be-
come OF her? She cant have cioped.
We hahn I been married long enough,
for that. You don't think she has been
abdicated, do ye, Mister? Speak
won't ye? Oh Pm ravin',
distracted. What are they ringin' that
for; is the old ship a-tire ?"
1T is the signal for departure-the
first bell. The second bell will ring in
four minutes
Thunder! Yeou don't say so I!
Whar's the cap'n?'
That gentleman in the blue coat
The Yankee darted to the captains
side. ......
'Cap'n stop the ship for ten minutes,
will yep
Can't do it. sir
.p.. o. .anat r.-r'ye, II pay ior ~.
How much will yc take?'
Il could not do it,
'Cap'n I'll give you tew dollars
sasped the Yankee.
The captain shook his head.
I'lI give you five dollars aud half
and half and half, he kept repeat
ing, and dancing about i'm his agony
like a mad jackdss on platter.
This boat starts Mt five precisely
said the captain, aud turned away.
oh, you Sunny hearted heathen,
the Yankee, almost burst
ing into tears. 'Partin' man and wife
and we just one day married.
at this moment the huge paddle
wheels began to paw the water, and
the walking beam descended heavily,
shaking the huge fabric to the centre.
All who were not going to New Haven
went ashore. The hands began to haul
in the gang plank, the fasts were already
cut loose.
rLeggo that plank = roared the Yam.
kee, collaring one Of the hands. Drop
it like hot pertater, or I'll throw you
into the dock.
'Yo-yo ! shouted the men in chorus,
as they heaved on the gangway.
shut up, you brayin' dOnkeys,' yell
ed the maddened Yankee, 'or there'll
be ugly sort of work.
But the plank was got aboard, and
the boat splasi,ed past the pier. In an
instant the Yankee had pulled off his
coat, flung his hat beside it on the deck,
crying out to the guard.
Are you drunk or crazy p cried a
passenger. seizing him.
Il am going to fling myself into the
dock, and swim ashore = cried the Yam
kee. Il mustn't leave Sally Ann alone
in New York city. You may divide
my baggage among ye let me go-I
kin SWIM
He struggled SO furiously that the
consequence of his rashness might
have been fatal, had not a sudden APP
partition changed his purpose. A very