Fremont journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County [Ohio]) 1853-1866, 1866-05-18

appreciate being left alone IN the world,
and ere his wife's eyes had hardly closed
IN the sleep that knows no waking, he
decided to marry again. Hitching up his
team, he takes in his servant girl and goes
10 Bay City to buy garments for the dead.
While there he married the girl and re-
turned home the same night with second
wife, so that by actual count he was not
widower twelve hours. The new wife ap-
peared at the funeral the next day in deep
black, and was one of the principal mourn
srs over the body of the first wife.
1t has been said that pantaloons obtained
On credit are breeches of trust.
Want less than you have, and you viii
always have more than you want.
Look out, lest by indorsing the charac-
ter of others you loose your own.
A Connecticut punster asks if the "Ides
of March" are the skins of March 'aresi
"Do make yourself at home, ladies'"
said lady one day to her visitors. lam
at home myself and wish you were."
The strongest kind of hint-a young
lady asking gentleman to see if one Of
her rings would go on his little finger.
A physician once advised Sydney
Smith to stake a walk upon an empty
''Whose stomach" :" asked the
wit
We sometimes congratulate ourselves at
the moment of waking from a troubled
dream; it may be so the moment after
death.
1t is the opinion of Western editor
that wood goes further when left out of
doors, than when well housed. He says
some of his went half mile.
Hath any wronged tbeeG Be bravely
revenged slight it and the work is begun;
forgive it and It's finished. He is below
himself that is not above an injury.
A gentleman, whose contingencies
had been his altar, having failed in busi-
ness, was asked what he intended to do,
and replied, 81 shall stay at homea while,
and get acquainted with my family"
A Chinese boy, who is learning English,
came across the passage in the Testament,
I'VE have piped unto you, and ye have
not danced" and rendered it thus: awe
have toot, toot to you, what's the matter
you no jumpl"
'1f I were so unlueky," said an officer,
"as to have stupid son, l would certain
ly, by all means, make him parson." A
clergyman, who was in the company, calm
ly replied, "you think differently, sir,
from your father"
In the last illness of George ColmaD,
the doctor being late in appointment,
apologized to his patient saying that he
had called in to see man who had fallen
down a well. 'Did be kick the bucket,
doctor?" groaned out George.
"Wife what has become of the grapes %
81 suppose, my dear, the hens picked
them of" was her moderate reply. "Hens
-hens-some two legged hens, l guess,
said her husband with some impetuosity,
to which she camly replied, ''My dear, did
you ever see any other kind p
An English paper has the following re-
mark about the length of the speeches
made in Partment, which is applicable to
the efforts of many of our public men,
'sIf some of the speeches Of our states
men do not reach down to posterity, it
will not be because they are not long
enough"
Every morning we enter upon a new
day which carries ayet unknown future in
its bosom. Thoughts may be born oday
which may never expire; hopes may be
excited which may never be extinguished
and acts may be performed to-day, the
consequences of which cannot be realized
till that day when the ''secrets of all hearts
shall be made known"
On the occasion of terrible shipwreck
when the efforts of the captain and crew
seemed unavailing to avert the coming
fate, we recollect an old lady going up tC
the skipper, wringing her hands in desper
alton, and exelaiming. 30, captain arr
we really in such dangerE" ''Yes, ma'am
answered he, 'we must trust in Providence
nouc," ooh" was the pious rejOinder, "hai
IL come to THATl"
A young couple had been married b.
a quaker, and after the ceremony, he re
marked to the husband,-
"Friend, thou art now at the end of tn!
troubles"
A few weeks after the young man eam'
to the minister, boiling over with rage
(his wife was a regular vixen.
81 thought you told me that was
the end of my troubles" +"
"SoI did nv friend, but did not sa.
which end"
Sir Walter Scott once happening to hea
his daughter Anne say of something tina
it was ''vulgar," gave the young lady tn
following temperate rebuke: "My love
you speak Ike a very young lady. d
YOU know, after all, the meaning of tn
word vulgar! 'Tis only common. Nott
ing that is common except wickedness, ca
deserve to be spoken of in a tone of cor
tempt; and when you have lived to m
years. you will be disposed to agree wit
me in thanking God that nothing reall
worth having or caring about in this worl