Weekly Trinity journal. [volume] (Weaverville, Calif.) 1857-1972, 1866-06-23
WEEKLY TRINITY JOURNAL,
Mr. Nasty Dreams Dream on the Steps
OF the White House.
CONFIDENT X ROADS. (Which IL in the Staff
NV Kentucky. AnriI 20 1896


master at the Corners he'd become to me mite
mare. Day after day seed him handlin guv-
ment money, DRAWN his salery promptly and Ia
kin his drinks reglarly, while I, Constooshnel
Dimekrat, supporter nv our CRATE and good
President wuz forced to the humiliashun
tin till wuz treated ceptin when a new grocery
keeper cum in, which gave me a chance to estab-
lish credit for short time. | felt that sum-
thin must be done therefore went to Washinton
KNOWN that for men NV my profound conyck-
shins, holdin my views ez to consiliashen and
SIGH, he'd no call to go to the Postmaster-Gin-
eral, who is Ablishnist, | went directly to the
Second Jaxon hisself. | succeeded in gettin
audience late in the afternoon. Our patron saint
wuz sittin a: a table eggsausted with receiyin
delegashens and SIGH.
70 Well 2" sed he "Honerd and spected sir,
said |, g am applicant for the post orhs at
Confedrit X Roads, witch is at present held by
Ablishnist who does not believe in yoor policy,
witch do believe in soemnly. Spected and hon
cred sir, sed |, q eff shood hev twins born to
me this mite shood name EN- both Policy
(Which Staff are 700 from ~ said he half a.
sleep. From Kentucky, honered and spected
sir, sed I.
" Well, sed he, yawnin feerfully, and turnn
to clerk, % Fill out pardon and give him a
commission. q Honered and spected sir, sed I,
in fit of oonacy, for witch can't account, g
don't need pardon. I wuz never in the late Ia
mented Confedrit servis'
% Whatn thunder then 700 here for begin
post offs =? Git out, you imposter," and wuz
to wunst ANONYMOUSLY showed to the door.
didn't quite understand the lay NV the land a.
round the White House.
In vane tried to git back that | might con-
convince him did ez much for the Confederasy
ez nv humble abilities permitted and that
needed consiliashun ez badly ez anybody. Then
hart broke and dead broke not hevng the stuff
to prokoor more sootabe lodgin, lay down
the cold stun steps and sought refuge from
my troubles in sleep.
| dreamed dream. Methawt wuz in room
in the White Hause. Stretched ont on one side
nv the room wuz the corpse Nv giant, "a mon
scr in size and strength, but withal Nv pleas
in presence and fair to look upon Onto its head
was liberty cap, and by its side WIZ a sword
considerable dnted and with all the gldin and
SIGH knocked off
" Wat is these sed I, pointn to the corpse,
askn a sort a attendant.
'Them replied he q is the defunct carcass
nv Republiknsm. He was a hefty youth in his
day, bat he died this mornin Look the mour-
comm to divide his clothes"
And shoor enuff they came in. At the head
the second Jaxon which the Ablishunits
derisivey call Moses, who appeared to be angry,
and clost behind him wuZ Seward weepin out
nv one eye and smilin out Nv tother, and Jim
Lane who he'd handkerchief witch he OCCASION
lime kiln, and Doolittle and Lee aud Ray
mond and Beauregard and Cowan and Stephens
and Thnrlow Weed and Vaandigham and Gov.
Sharkey and host others, al NV witch ranged
themselves around the bier.
" He was a promisin yooth,'' sed Seward,
putin his Handkerchief to his eyes, 'but the at
mospherc NV the White House wuz too much for
him. insist, however" sed he, n pocketn the
Handkerchief and takin hold trnket the
corpse held in his hand labelled presidency,
1862 from witch hung more'n a million Nv
smaller trinkets, sthat ez twas that pizened
him, this is mine"
"Nary," sed Johnson, 81 did the dizziness for
him. and it's mine"
'Settle it ez 700 please" sed Raymond,
gently, ''but whoever gifts it must remember
that this Secretaryship is mine
"And l." sed Dooittlc, q must hev for my
assistance, this little affair marked, ST. James,
for my seat in the SENT is goner.
For my part" sed Jim Lane, q the western
appointments is mine. Its worth EN- all to wear
this collar
"My friends scd Stephens, % l find no am
nesty about the corpse. There must he one
manufactured and stuck in his pocket to be pro-
doost at the funeral
Thurlow Weed sed nothing, but looked on
with sardonic smile, KNOWN PERFECTLY well
that whoever took the biggest part NV the plum
der, he control it any way.
and Boregard to the place NV Sherman and Lee
to Grants position, and Vallandigham wanted
this and tother Teller that, and there wuz ter
rible hubbub over the corpse-W likes Booth
COST came in and wanted to know what he wuz
to hev in the new deal, for sed he, " eft bin Tor
me where'd 700 all hev bin. Talk NV the mite
House atmosphere KILN him I'm sure the
shadder nv the the budin blasted what little NV
his spirit VOC he'd" sed he, turnin to Seward
- but eff Linkin he'd lived ha ha sed he, IN
n tragedy voise Then in trooped lot NV other
costs. There wuz Bill Allen, Nv Ohio, and
Washington Hunt, Nv Moo York, and Jeems
Bookannon. NV Pennsylvania, and Eli Thayer,
and Lew. Campbell, and Carrot Davis, who
started to make Speech but the entire assem-
blage stuck their fingers in their ears, which
hint he took for the first time in his life and
desisted.
Finally johnson swore ''by the eternal" Che
got that noshun from the first A. j. witch he
thinks he resembles, coz his initials is the same,
and coz the original vetoed bill wunst.) and
he would hev the Presidency and gobbled it
Sewsrd he snatched at it and they tussled The
company stood by to see it out for it made but
little difference TO them wich got it. In the
skirmage johnson happened to Seward up
arin window on the north side nv the room
and smashed it ont. Jest then q blast north
wind poured into the room through the aperture
and bowed onto the face the corpse. The
effect was electricle. Life ran through his veins.
his face flushed and the livId nue. was changed
to the rudy glow health. The dead wuz
alive,-the gaint raised to his feet. and looked
around him, shakin off them es wuz hangin to
him like insex Notcin the trinket witch he'd
caused the skirmage. in johnson s hand, he
took him by the neck and twistin il out Nv his
hand flung him gently through the winder a.
ANTI made up my mind who I" give this TO,
but 700 bet it amt 700, sed he
."Wilyum,'' sed he, tnrnin to Seward. q | m
surprised at 700. Wus this baIbe the price Nv
your honesty and yoor principles? Go Will
yum. Ez for 700 Doolittle. 700 never wuz halt
baked 700 Thurlow, put Raymond in your vest
pocket and quit the presence. 700. Jim Lane,
leave to the tender mercies Nv my friends in
Kansas. Clear out the balance this rabble
and send for my friends. I've been pizened and
smothered and stunk nigh to death. Clear out
the house and sweep it, and sprinkle chloride Nv
lime and sieh all over it. Shut down them
Southern windows and open those on the North,
East and West sides. I want a snuff Nv fresh
air, for -
AT this pint awoke and found myself not in
toe White House, but on the steps thereof cold
ana snlrerin. In my pocket wuz the papers
wien didn't get me the post orifis VIM seekin