Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1866-02-08
Namorona geaaiug.
Hard of Hearing.


A young Jonathan once courted the
daughter of an old man that lived down
East, who professed to be deficient iu hear
ing-but, forsooth, was more capricious than
limited in hearing, as the sequel will tend
to show.
1t was a stormy night in the ides Of
March, if mistake not, when lightning met
lightning and loud peals of thunder answer
ed thunder, that Johnathan sat by the old
mans freside discussing with the old lady
(his intended mother.in law the expedien-
cy of asking the old mans permission to
marry Sally. Jonathan resolved to pop it
to the old man on the next day-"but,"
says be, ssas l think of the task, my heart
sbriuks and my resolution weakens-he's
so daDg'd hard to hear body"
In the meantime, the old man, who was
bypocritical, so far as hearing was concern
ed, feigned total indifference to the couver
satiou between his wife and Jonathan, but
contrary to the anticipations of both he dis
tinctly heard every word that passed, and
by the dawn of another day, the old man
was to be found in his barn lot feeding his
pigs. Jonathan also arose early from bed
in the morning and spisd the old man feed
ing his pigs, and resolved to ask him for
Sally.
Scarcely a minute had elapsed after JON
athan had made his last resolution ere he
bid the old man good morning. Now iona
than's heart beat-aow he scratched his
head and gave birth to pensive yawn.-
Jonathan declared that he'd as soon take
thirty nine "stripes" as to ask the old man.
"But," says he, aloud to himself, "here
goes-faint heart never won fair girl"
and addressed the old man thus -:
81 say, old man, want to marry your
daughter"
Old Man-"You want to borrow my hal
ter. l would lend it to you, Jonathan, but
my son has taken it off to the mill"
Jonathan put his mouth close to the old
mau's ear aid speaking in deafeniug voice,
said.
81 have got forty five pounds of money"
The old man stepped back, as if greatly
alarmed, aud exclaimed in voice of sur
prise
"You have got FIVE hundred pounds of
honey! What in the mischief can do With
so much houey? Why, it's more than all
this neighborhood has use for"
Jonathan, who was not yet the victim of
despair, Put his mouth to the old mans ear,
aud bawled out,
81 have got gold"
To this the uld man replied, $50 have I,
Jonathan, and it's the worst cold ever had
in my life"
Sosaying, the old man sneezed 'wash.up.'
By this time the old woman came out,
and having observed his unfortunate luck,
she rut her mouth to the old mans ear and
screamed like wounded Zeno.
Daddy l say, daddy, you don't under
stand him. He wants to marry our daugh.
ter"
Old mau-"I told him our calf.hslter
was gone"
Old LadY-'sWhy, daddy, you cant un-
ders,apd he's got gold, he's rich v'
Old Man -'.He's got cold and the itch,
eh? What's the rascal doing here with itch,
eh?"
So saying, the old man aimed blow at
Jopatbau's head with his walking staff ;
happily for Jonathan be lodged it. Nor did
the rage Of our hero stop at this, bot with
an angry countenance be made after Jena
than, who took to bis heels; nor did Jons-
than's luck stop here. He had not gone
out Of the barn. yard, rot far from the old
man, who run him close race, ere iona
than stubbed his toe aud fell to the round,
and before the cd man could take up he
stumbled over him Jonathan sprang to
his heels, and with the speed of John
Gilpin, he cleared himself And poor Sal
ly She died Dun Never had husband.