Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1866-05-10

TAe ESarristcr'S wig.
"The wisdom is ia the wig" is q very
common proyerb, and, like most of the CON-
mon proverbs, doubtless contains a consid
cradle amount Of truth. To prove this, the
reader has only to attend one of our law
courts for day Or two, and he will then
hear opinions carrying great weight with
: I. them, which, if uttered out of court, and by
an individual in private dress, would be
thought very common place indeed. But
not only is there q great amount of wisdom
In the wig, but great amount of wit and
humor as well; or, how should we read in
the newspapers Of the mirth elected at our
trials by the very dull jokes occasionally
uttered by the members of the bar? We
read in the Reports, of barrister who said
sHe would rather not answer that question"
So e. iaugh1. Another viii say, "No, thank
~ yoan tgreat laughter) IS Thank you,
an not to be caught in that way" there
the court was convulsed with laughter for
sone minutes. in which the learned judge
Joined heartily. Now out Of court, XII
these saying seems poweriess enough, but
IN court their humor appears to be irresist-
ible.
Although it has long been favorite idea
with me, hat there is occasionally more wit
and humor in the wig than in the individu-
ID NeaEluR II, IL lS ouly ldtely tHtLb L nave
been convinced of the fact. Possibly | may
be accused, and with justice OF putting a
little acrimony in the statement of my opin-
ion for was lately in the witness box for
more than an hour, the butt CT d barrister
with witty wig.
y Lam a surgeon in considerable practice
. in q large country town, and was subpOe
uaed to give evidence in an assault case in
which the plaintiff was my patient for some
time, in consequence of the injuries be had
received. As the plaintiff, and old farmer
was half drunk at the time Of the assault
(he had been dining with some other far
mers of his acquaintance after the market
was over), it was, naturally, the policy of
the counsel for the defence to prove that he
was thoroughly intoxicated, and that the
injuries be had received arose from his own
helpless condition. OF course, if he could
break down the medical evidence it would
mitigate his clients cause greatly, if no.
completely exonerate him from blame
l attended at the court on the appointed
day, and was sworn. | mounted the wit
ness-box with a feeling somewhat akin to
awe at the solemnity of the oath | had
taken, and with resolution conscientiously
10 speak the strict truth in all things
My evidence in favor of the prosecution
went off smoothly enough, and, to tell the
honest truth | felt somewhat proud of it.
Then the cross-examination began. Here
great change took place. The counsel for
the defence had the reputation of being a
wag, and soon found my position change
from that of grave scientific witness into
the Jack Pudding Of the court The amount
of mirth the counsel oontrived to elliott
from my evidence was astonishing; vet, for
the life of rue, | could see no subject for
testing whatever. lie inquired in what
manner made the distinction between hav-
ing drunk little too much and being drunk:
what amount of beer, or wine, or spirit
Considered would have the effect of knock
ing man down. and many other questions
OF the same description. Seeing everybody
laughing, l began to think possibly [ cid
not give my answers carefully enough; the
effect of the oath | had taken being still
strong within me. | therefore gave my
replies more eircumstantially, as imagin-
ed; but the questions increased in facetous-
ness In consequence, and my answers caus-
ed more mlrth Than before | then thought
that perhaps, in my serious mood, | did not
appreciate sufficiently the wit of the learn
ed gentleman, and paid great attention 10
his words in order TO lind out in what their
humor consisted. But in vain His oues-
tions appeared to me to be simply what IN
vulgar parlance is called chatting and moth
ing more. By degrees | got so much con-
fused that made a very simpieton of my
self, and contradicted my own statements
al least dozen times over At las, when
be had coutrived 10 make me neutralize
completely the truthful evidence had Civ
en- Ia my examination in chief, he allowed
me to leave the box /; and | did so under
the unpleasing Impression that had made
great fool OF myself.
left The court immediately. and the trial
went on without me. But in the evening,
had the unpleasant intelligence that my
patent had lost his case, principally owing
20 the uncomplimentary remarks made by
.he judge on my evidence, in his summing
up.
But the annoyance did not stop here.
Tie mex. day, not only the local papers,
Bat the London journals as well, had fun
account of the trial, in Which figured in
by no means fattering manner; There
- was theusual parenthetical remarks,-(Th
cross-examination Of the witness elected
great mirth in the eourt); (fhe judge GOULD
with difficulty maintain his gravity ;
(4reat laaa liter, which the Us aers had much
difficulty in repressiug) and many o,her ex-
pressions of the same kind At first | was
= naturally greatly annoyed at this, but in q
few days the feeling wore off; sail, ii fire.
quently returned TO my mind, and on more
than one occasion | attempted to analyze
the cause Of so much mirih arising from SO
serious subject, and with so little real wit
on the part of the hsrrister. At last a
vagHei suspicion arose in my mind that it
was due in great measure to the wig; but
j how to prove my conclusion puzzled me ex-
tremely When | least expected it. how
ever, chance threw an opportunity in my
way.
0ne morning, on leaving my house, my
attention was arrested BY q long procession