The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1866-11-08
Irish Buiis-A Few Very Good sPeci

will wear forever, and make q petticoat
afterwards
This draper, however, is almost out
done by an enterprising furrier, who in
Inmates to "all such ladies rs desire gem
uine furs, that he will make muffs, boas,
etc., out of their own skins"
The next bull that occurs to me was
uttered by poor woman, who, in all
the pride and glory of her maternal
heart, was declaring to kind-hearted
listener, that since the world was n
world there never was such o clever
boy as her BnI-he had just made two
chairs and fiddle out of his own head,
aud had plenty of wood left for another.
A similar mechanical genius had that
Irish carpenter in America, who, in
sending in his little account to farmer
for whom he had been working, in
formed him that it was for Hanging
two barn doors and himself, seven hours,
one dollar and half.
In direct contradiction to this ac-
attempt at selfdestruction,
we have the story of certain physi-
clan, who, conducting post mortem
examination in n case of infanticide, re-
ported that he was unable to discover
whether the child was alive at the time
of its death, or not.
The following piece of ndriete was
uttered in a shop in market town in
County Cavan by a poor Irish woman
"What is your ten-penny ribbon a
yard ~ she inquired. "A shilling
ma'am," was the rather paradoxical
reply. Every well, then, said our sim
pie friend, "nick it at that" To this
we may add the daily demand in such
establishments for white ha'penny
spools. or black women's stockings,
yellow girls gloves, etc, etc.
1t is only few months since the
Times perpetrated perfect bull. In a
review of Tennyson's "Enoch Arden,
the following sentence occurs relative
TO tue selt-denial of Enoch, who keeps
his existence secret from his wife,
whom he finds married again aud
happy. "He died, but not until he died,
did he mention to those around him
who he WASP Now. who should eveI
expect, on looking over John Bulls
great representative, to meet with such
a genuine Irishman as that! We can
only account for it by supposing it was
perpetrated by an Irishman. We be-
lieve number of them are employed
upon the staff of that august publica-
ton.
Not to be outd0ne however, by its
monster contemporary, an Irish paper
announced not many weeks since the
death of poor deaf man named Calf.
He had been run over by locomotive,
an, adds the paper, che received a
similar injury this time last year."
We shall give just one more rich
specimen of Irish obliquity and blum
dering phraseology; andthen shall have
done. 1t is contained in an election
eering bill, literally and truly furnish
ed by an tnn-keeper for the purpose OF
RECALLING certain free and independent
(.) voters during the time of a contest
ed election in Meath. Some forty years
ago Sir Mark Somerville sent orders to
the proprietor of the hotel in Trim to
board and lodge all that should vote for
him. For this he afterwards received
the following, which he got framed.
and it still hangs in the Somerville
house, County Meath. The copy to
which we are indebted to for this was
found among the papers of the late
Very Reverend ArchdeacOn O'Connell,
Vicar General of the diocese of Meath.
1t ran as follows:
My Bill
To eating 16 freeholders above stairs
for Sir Marks at IS I'd head is to me
E2 II.
To eating 16 more below stairs and 2
priests after supper is to me f22 los Cd.
To beds in one room and in anoth-
er at guineas every bed, and not more
than four in bed at any time, cheap
enough GoD knows is to me f22 15s.
To Is horses and Is mules about my
yard all night at 13s every one of them
and for man which was lost on the
head of watching them all night is to
me f5 So Cd.
For breakfast on tay in the morning
for every one of them and as many more
rs they brought near as can guess is
to me Ga lbs Cd. s.
To raw whisky punch without talking
of pipes tobacco as well rs for porter
and as well as for breaking pot above
stairs and other glasses and deli during
the first day and night / am not sure
but for ithe three days and half of
election as little as l can call it and be
very exact it is III all or thereabouts as
near as / can guess and not be too par
ticular is to me at least E79 los Cd.
For Swapping and trapping off the
heads of 40 frecholders for Sir Marks at
l3d for every head of them by my
brother had a Vote is to me
co lbs Id. For WON'T and a nurse for
poor Tom Herman in the middle of the
night when he was not expected is to
me ten hogs.
don't talk of the piper or for keep
ing him sober as long rs he was sober is
to me GO.
The total
2 70 90
Is 90
% IL 90 Signed