The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1866-05-08


IzATIoN AND REFINEMENT or THE SoUrB.
The grand apostles of civilization and
charlatansm at the BostOnian Head Cen
ire of the Universe have for many years
bewailed with bitter tears the Ignorance"
and " obstinacy" Of the Southern people,
and while they turned their eyes towards
that Bostonian Heaven, where every happy
citizen halls from "New England" and
probably bears the "Mayfower brand,
they comforted themselves with the reflec-
tion that the descendants of the "crop-
cared" Roundheads were mentally and
physically superior to the degenerate scions
of those luckless cavaliers who had no bet
ter sense than to prefer disinterested devo-
tion to God and king to the comfortable
doctrine of "help your neighbors and keep
your promises only when it is to your own
advantage to do So"
Unfortunately, in our blindness we
have not been able to appreciate to the
full the disinterested philanthropy of the
Bostonian "Head- Centres" and with un-
charitable persistency have continued to
believe that in the New England vocabu-
larry "pmity" meant "pocket," "gtory !"
stood for greenback," and that charity"
and "ChaStity" were but other words for
"poHcy and " convenience"
Such refinements of language and ex-
preston as the New Englanders have
trumpeted forth to the world we, unfor-
nately, have appreciated at their proper
value. We could not consent to wrap the
legs of our pianos and tables in garments
of choicest satin; but we did remember
that to the impure no things are pure, and
resolved that now and forever we would be
loyal and true at heart, whatever contrary
Interpretation might be ingeniously placed
upon our thoughts, words, or actions.
Such conduct as this was of course but
another proof of contumacy, and shoals OF
schoolmarms, on the lookout for hus-
bands and scholars, pressed eagerly for
ward to undertake the exalted labor OF
chriStianizing the South in accordance with
the doctrines of the Bostonian Evangel.
They came they saw, and felt that their
occupation was gone.
A cOnclavc was held there was rustling
of stiffened muslin; there was the display
of attenuated forms thrown with energy
into spasmodic angularity; there was talk.
ing and resolving; and, as a conclusion, il
was determined that their talents and tolls
which were unequal to the task Of convert
ing and evangcliZing the white people Of
the South, might be employed to advantage
upon the "poor prosecuted" negro. "Si.
mHia SimilibuS c,rant,T," spouted forth an
enthusiastic female-at least, SO she
seemed. .-"and we, with fellow feeling and
common accord, may be sure of finding ii
the negro the same passions, prejudiccs
and poverty of new-fangled ideas ofproud
purity, that we enjoy in ourselves and
claim as our own"
This was no idle boast or threat, and the
Scho0lmarm," with nervous glance, tri-
angular visage, and feet which deal de-
struction to the crawling caterpillar and
harmless creeping insect, is regeneratlng
the negro as the SurcSt way of rcgcne.
rating, through him, the "chivalry' of the
Southern States.
None would wish or dare to use one
word of scotr or ridiculc in speaking OF
those who, with generous heart and dis
| interested feelings, are working earnestly
to enlighter the ignorant, and teach them
| that consistency of life and manner which
alone can bring them happiness or content
but unhappily but few, very few, OF
! this class are, to our knowledge, IN our
midst.
The "SchoOlmarm genus care not for
truth or progress, as we understand them,
but teach their apt scholars that refine.
ment of phraseology which changes the
unadulteratcd negro into the "colored gen.
| Hemalt" or free " americana fricdn citt
zen." The fruit crops out already, and or
Yesterday negro went into store or
Main street, and asked for some "rods o.
correction" There was puzzling, and dis
putting, and confusion, but at last the sable
dame condescended to explain that the
phrase was "Boston" English for what il
the South is called birch or hickory.
This is the species of mongrel refinement
and progress which the "SchoOlmarm
wishes to introduce among the negroes
and through them amongst us. Lord deli
yer us from our friends! We admire tb'
Schoolmarm" as we would "talkips
seal' or a what-is-it ?' and may wei
think that they and their "colored breth
rem" are new edition Of the Siamese
twins, where there are two distinct bodies
but the same hopes and fears, feelings ant
appetites the death of the one resulting
infallibly in the death of the other.
Hoeing, ploughing, spinning, and sewing
are more necessary now to the negro thai
the singing of emancipation hymns o
the study of that multiplication table ant
alphabet which are supposed to be tn
panacea for all the ills that negro flesh
heir to. The negro must ,cork or starvt
and this he will eventually find out in spit
of all the "strong- minded females" il
Yankeedom. Schoolmarms do no
yet understand negroes as well as we dc
and when the hot summer days come on
they will wish themselves in any place bu
room crowded with score or two of vi
gorous and irrepressible Africans
Blessings, then, on the long limp hair ant
scanty robe of the Schoolmarm I" II
her be all the honor she deserves; bu
allow us to assure the Schoolmarms
and their friends that we are so old
fashioned in the South to this day that w
will obstinately continue to be, in endeavo
at least, honorable and just, generous AM
unaffected.