The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1866-10-20
MATTERS MATRIMONIAL.


Oh. no. we never talk IN French.
lis sounu no more is heard;
our Id g are now fOfiid TO spool
J be small est foreign 0Ord.
cannot eay-"Mon cher ami,
comment vous pOrez.vOus4"
Nor he feplt-"I res blen, mon ange"
Oh! no, 1t wou not do
dare not sigh Pensez a moiu
Oi-"Serez Yous 1dcle;"
Nor can he say Ouiours tot"
Or-"Au rev DIR, ma belief"
And it-"Ne m out lez pas"- sips out,
They are talking French" Is screamed about,
Ere con aGd-"MOn cher"
And ma'mcz vous," never hear.
Nor does he ever SAY
"Jusqu'a la mort" so much we fear
To-"Parlez en- Francas."
All ears are open when he sits
Bes1Ce me after tea,
Let he should y-''Acceptez-moiYi
And should answer Ou."
Family jars arc plenty as ever in pious New
Ell gland. Nine divorces in one town OF Yer
mont recently. i.l
-Rumor forecasts the marriage OF James
Gordon Bennett, Jr., and daughter of Gene
raj Dix $500
Mr.. Quilp declares ladies' eyeballs to be
Loves heaviest artillery.
"A gentleman in Hudson, New York, was
married last Tuesday, and cut his throat the
same night.
-Coleridee was once asked which of Words
orths works he considered the prettiest,
wien he promptly replied, - His daughter
DoIa.n
"A tollgate keeper named Murray, two miles
from Gretna Green, in Scotland, celebrated 757
m aT1iages In one year,
Forty applicants for marriage certificates
in Cincinnati, during the last six weeks, were
unable to write their names.
Thanksgiving morning q young lady was
sun moned TO her door 10 receive a splendid
turkey. "Who sent it?n asked the lady. II
was told not to lisp" replied the Hlbernian.
'Ah can guess,n responded the lady, "Be-
nj
"A lady committed suicide in Newark, New
Jersey, lately. She left note saying she could
tolerate her husband no longer He was the
thild to whom she had been married.
The fashionable walk for young ladies' says
a Saratoga critic, is sort of bobble as if they
had sore toe on each foot. The sprightly
Jenny Lind hop was once the ton.
~ have nothing but my heart to give YOU"
said spinster 70 lawyer who had conducted
suit Tor her. 'Weil," said the lawyer gru1ly,
ego TO my cleIk-he takes the fees.n
Mrs. Hooper, OF Boston, rumor says, sacri-
fees the interest on 100000 in order to become
Mrs. Charles Sumner.
I "A coxcomb, talking OF the transmigration of
4 souls, said:-"In the time of Moses, / have no
4 doubt was the golden calf" every likely y
4 replied lady, ''tme has robbed you OF nothing
but the gildlng!"
"A baby was left on an editors doorstep in
Cleveland last week, with request that 1t be
taught 10 be an editor. What cruel and unna-
-'Why will you persist in wearing another
woman's hair on your head ?' asked Acid of his
vile. She Ietorted :-'Why do YOU persist in
wearing another sleeps wool on your back ?"
There is marital club in New York similar
to one which has long existed in Paris IL ia
composed OF young men who seek to marry only
rich young ladies.
"A Russian grand duchess has lust arrived
in Paris, with no end of store clothes, diamonds.
servants, etc. AS she is a single gal, there is a
fine chance for some bachelor of quality.
Elisha G. Sprague, of Chicago, has had an
action commenced against HIM for breach of
| promise by Cincinnati lady. Spraguc is
| worth S5C0O00 and $50, 900 damages are
claimed The lady has been for six years a
| teacher in the Newport Seminary.
In an old family Bible in Connecticut, the
record OF birth is entered in this wise:- Eliza
beth Jones, born on the 2Cth of November,
| 1877, according 10 the best of her recollection.
eff you ever marry said q Roman consul
| TO his son, 'let 1t be woman who has sense
| enough TO superintend the setting of a meal of
vlctuals, taste enough to dress herself, pride
enough TO hold hex tongue when she has
| nothing 10 say"
| "A young woman in country village was
| busiIy engaged, the other day, i'll looking over
some mourning goods. The clerk was an ac-
quaintance, and asked her, with much solici-
| tude if there had been death in her family.
INC, not exactly" she said; ''but expect the
| old lady will go under in about two weeks, and
| thought Id get my mournin' all ready"
| "A woman in Charleston, s. G, begged for
| eighty dollars to bury her husband. A benevo-
| lent lady visited her home to take her tue
| money. In a darkened apartment lay the
| corpse, the widow was crying, and everything
looked very melancholy. She lett the eighty
dollars, and departed, forgetting her parasoi.
Returning, she found the corpse counting the
| money.
The poet Percivalis knowledge of women
was OF the least. He never dared LOOK them in
the eyes An accidental touch of the hand OF
one OF his loves drove him in confusion from
the room. He never told his love- except in
one in stance, and then it was in writing. He
was in love at twenty; at twenty-four he adored
pupil at Philadelphia; and again, at twenty
five, he worshipped somebody in Berlin; and
| once more, IN New Haven, at tWenty-seven, he
| fell in love with a young woman with hand
some face, who did not like books, and MARI led
| a shoemaker.