The Lansing state Republican. [volume] (Lansing, Mich.) 1855-1874, 1866-02-28
How he Came TO be Married.


II NAV be funny. but I've done it. Nv,
got a rib and d baby. shadows departed
oyster stews. brandy cock tails, clgal
boxes, bO0t-jacks absc0ndng shirt buttons
whist and demijOhn Shadows present
hoop skirts. hand-hoXes, ribbons. gariers
long stockings, Juvenile dresses lln trum
pets little willow chairs cradles, bihs
paps sugar teats. parcgoric. hive syrup
rhubarb, SIENNA. salts qull~ and doctor
bills Shadows future more proud bable'
more hive syrup, etc. Ill jnst tell You how
cot caught / vas always the darnlest
most tea custard hashiuil fellow You ever
did see; it was kinder in my line TO be TAX
en- with the shakes every Time ! saw pret
" cal approaching me. and III cross th'
street any time rather than face one
'twasn't because didn't like the critters
for was behind The fence loOkiu a thea q
through knot hole. couldn't look at one lon
enough. Well my sister Lib gave q party
one night. and I stayed away from hOmt
because ] was too ba-hlui 20 face The music
| hung around the house whistling "OlD
Dan Tucker. dancing 10 keep my feet
warm, watching the heads bobbing up and
down behind The window curtains and
wishing the laundering party would break
up so could get 90 ny room. l smoked
up a bunch Of cigars, and a. il was getting
late and mighty uncomfortable, / conc.u
ded tO shin up the door post. No sooner
said than done. and soon found mysei
snug IN bed.
d" Now says /. '.ict her rip Dance I'LL
your wind gives out. And cuddhng down
under the quilts Morpheus grabbed me.
] was dreaming Of s0ti-shel crabs ana
stcwed tripe and having good time when
somebody knocked al the door and w0k,
me up. Rap, again. laid low. "Ral
rap. rap" Then | heard Il whispering
and knew there was "a whole raft OF gals
outside. Rap, rap, Then Lib sings out.
Jack are yOu there.
Yes says |.
Then came roar OF laughter.
Let us in. said she
81 won't. said '.cant sou let "a fellow
alone.
Are you bed says She.
81 am, says /.
90 Get out. says She.
80 won't SAYS 7.
Then came another laugh.
BY thunder. l began 10 get riled.
Get out. yOu petticOated scarecrOws
cried can't YOU get a bean without haul
ING fellow out of bed | won't 20 home
with You I won't so YOU may clear out
And throwing a boot M the door, | Tel
better. But pre-ently-Oh mortal buttons
| heard a SIN, small voice, very much lik'
sister Lbs, and 10 said:
Jack, You'll have 10 get up for all the
girls things are there.
Oh. Lord, what pickl Think OF me IL
bed. all covered with shawl-, mufs, bon
nets. ard c.OlkS, and twenty girls outside
the door waiting 10 yet IN. III had stop
ped to think should have pancaked on The
spot A. il was | rolled out among tn,
bonnet ware and ribbons in ahurry. Smasl
went the millinery in every direction. | hat
10 dress in the dark-iOr there WAS a cracl
in the door. and the girls Will peep-and
the way | fumbled about was death OF
straw hats. The critical moment came.
| opened the door and found myself righ
among the women
"Oh, my leghorn cried one. My dear
darling winter velvet" cried another, an,
they pitched in-they pulled me this WAY
and that, boxed my ears, and one bright
eyed little piece-Sll. her M ime Was-put
her arms right around my neck, and kisseo
me right on my lips Human nature
couldn't stand that, and gave her a. good
d
cot the taste, and II was powerful good.
I believe I CuuIu nave Kissed that gal IRON
Julius Gear to the 4th OF July
Jack, said she, I'VE are sorry 10 dis
turb YOU, but won't You see me homey'
Yes. said L.
did 90 il, and had another smack al
the gate. too. Alier that we took kinder
turtle dove after each other. both of u;
singing like a barrel of new cider, when w'
were away from each other.
Twas NJ the close of i glorious summer
day, the sun was setting behind distant
hen-roost, the bull-irOgs were commencing
there evening songs. and p0lly-wOgS. IN
their native mud-puddieS, were preparing
I themselves for the shades OF night and Sa
aud myself sat upOn an antquated bacs
log. listening 10 the music of nature, sucl
as tree tOads. rOOsters and grunting pigs.
and now and then The music OF a jacKas.
was waited 10 our ears 10y the gentle zeph
yrs that sighed among the mullen stalks
and came heavy laden with the deIiciOu,
OdOrs OF hen rOOsts and pig-styeS. Th,
last lingering rays OF the setting sun
glancing from the buttons OF a SOLITARY
nurSemau. shOne through a knot hole in
HOG pen, full in sails lace. dying her han
an orange peel hue. and showing off my
thread bare coat. 20 bad advantage: one %
my arms was around Sails wasS. my nan,
resting on The small OF her back. she Wa,
towing with my auburn locks Ol Jet blAcb
hue; she was almost gone and | was ditto
She looked ike a grasshOper dying Will
the hiccups. and L ieit ike a mud-turtl,
chOked WITH 4 Goldfish ball
Sal, says /, in a voice "a musical a
the notes OF dying swan. evil yOu have
me-"
She turned her eyes heayenword. claSpe,
me 10y the hand. had IN attack Of the heav
ems and the blind staggers. with 4 sigh lha
drew her shOeStrings 10 her palate. said
Yes
She gave clear ont. then and sQuatted i,
my lap. l hugged her till | broke my sus
penders, and her breath smelt Oi onions shr
had eaten two weeks before.
Well 20 make long story short. she "a
the day and we practiced for four week
every night how We would enter the room
10 be married, till We cot 50 We could wals
a. graceful a. a couple Of MusCOvv ducks
The night. the company and the miu>te
came. the signal WAS given. AMI arm i
arm we marched thrl ugh the crowded bali
We were Just enter ng The parior door
when 1 went down AeI-llp or the Oil-cioth
, pulling >2l alter me. some cusSed fellow
had dropped banana skin on the floor Al.
it iioOre-. mc. IL split an awful hole in III
j casSlmeres. right under my dress coat tan
Ii vas too late 10 back out: 50 ciaspiu- III
hand cverI Il we marched ln anl were Spl
: ced. and taxing seat I watched the kisS
ing the bride operation. Ny groomsma
was tight and he kissed her Till | iumpe
mp 10 take slice. when, Oh, horror, ID,
- tie six year OLD imp had crawled behind N
q and pnlled my shirt through the hole IN m
F. pants, and pinned il 10 The chair. an
7, jumping up | displayed 10 the almiun
gaze OF the astOuiSAed multitude i trih
- more white muslin than was pleasant. In
? women Sissied, the men r0ared, and I q
mad. but WAS finally put 10 bed and ther
my troubles ended Good night.