Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-06-28
NIISCELLANY.
HOW MR.. KEITH MANAGED.

"Man's work is from sun TO sun, but wo-
mans work is never done," quoted Mrs. Keith.
She had just finished her work for the even
ing, everything was sided, and she was just
taking up her sewing, when Mr.. Keith upset a
vinegar bottle and a bowl of gravy in the kitch-
en- cupboard, rumaging after knife which was
in his pocket at the time
Mrs. Keith relinquished her idea of little
season of quiet, and went out to set matters in
order again MrKeith followed to oversee her
"a habit which some folks have.
Il wish you would be a little more careful,
Henry. You do not realize how many things
have to sec TO-
"Humph| said Mr.. Keith, sitting down in
a basket of freshly ironed clothes; 81 never
would complain of such trifle as that! If l
didn't know | should think all the women were
in slavery"
"And you would be correct, Henry. You
haven't the iaintest idea"
Nonsense, Mary! Why, could do your
work and three times as much more, and then
get all through at ten o'clock"
Gould you, indeed ?"
"To be sure, if you would only give me the
chance of it..
"You shall have it, saith Mrs. Keith, qui-
etly. II have long wanted to visit my aunt
Susan. will do so now, and you may keep
house. shall have to cook up something"
Gas if l couldn't cook You will do moth
ing of the kind, Mary. l shall live like a
prince, and you will see how nice l will keep
everything You will hardly know the house
when you return
"I dare say" remarked Mrs Keith, but
wnen can | go?"
Tomorrow, if you like
"And are you sure that you can manage? ?"
"Sure |" what look he gave her; You
shall see."
Mrs. Keith laughed little to herself when
her husband left her at the depot, and turned
his steps homeward to clear the breakfast things
and prepare dinner. She only wished she
could be there invisible, and see him manage.
"Let me see" soliloquised Keith, entering
the kitchen; III wash the dishes first, and I'll
put on one of Mary dresses to keep me clean. "
"He fastened it around his waist with pin,
rolled up his sleeves, and looked about him.
The fire was out, but after much trouble he
succeeded in rekindling it, and then began to
wash the dishes.
He took them to the sink, plugged up the
spout, and put them to soak in pail Of cold
water.
There they're washed said he to himself;
now for something to wipe them on. I'll take
the table-cloth. Why, could wash all the
dishes in the neighborhood in half day.
This stew pan smells of grease, | wonder what's
the matter with it? There I've got some smut
on my hand There it goes on the China sau-
Ger, deuce it! l wish there was no smut
Hillo, there's one plate gone to smash Oh!
there goes the cream pitcher! And | have
stepped into that potatoe dish that / seton the
floor to dry, and that's gone to the shades
never mind, accidents will happen. 1 guess
I'll trim thelampsnext, mother alwaystrlmmed
the lamp in the morning. Coniound EN- how
black the chimneys are"
Thus conversing with himself, Mr.. Keith put
the chinnevs into the basin and cogtated a
moment. He had heard it said that boiling
water was cleansing. So he SCALED the Chin
ney, and the result was about hundred differ
ent pieces to each chimney.
GOOD gracious he cried, "whod have
thought it There's somebody at the door
1t can't be anybody care for, so early as this.
A small boy presented himself, eying Keith
with ill-suppressed myrth.
"Be you mistress of the house ?"
Yes-that is, am the master Y said Mr.
Keith with dignity, "what can do for you ??
Nothing, guess. Marin sent me over to
see if you-that is-if the mistress of the
house would take care of the baby while she
goes shopping"
"Now thundcred Keith. "Tve other fish to
fry"
The boy put his thumb to his nOses and Mr.
Keith. after slamming the door-as men are
ant to do when out of temper-returned to tho
kitchen. The fire was out and the room deci-
dedly smoky.
I'm 90 down into the cellar and bring up
some coal said he, and started briskly down
the stairs. On the second step he put his
foot. through rip in his dress skirt-stum-
bled and fell to the bottom Of tho cellar
smashing basket of eggs, and knocking over
= shelf loaded With pans Of milk,