Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1866-10-11


Mr.. PUNcH-You'll be glad to learn that
I've made good impression on the mind of
the landlord of the Greenlion tavern. He
made speech about me last night. Risin'
in the bar, he spoke as follers, there bein
over 20 individooals present: "This North
American has been an inmate of my 'ouse
over two weeks, yit he hasn't made no at
tempt to scalp any member of my family.
He hasn't broke nc cups or sassers, or fur
niture of any kind, Hear, hear. l find
can trust him with lighted candles. He
eats his whites with knife and fork.
People of this kind should be encuraidged.
propose is 'elth!" Loud 'plaws.]
What could l do but modestly get up and
express q fevint hope that the Atlantic cable
would bind the two countries still more
closely together? The landlord said my
speech was full of originality, but his idee
was the old stage coach was more safer, and
he tho't the people would indors the opinyin
in doc time.
I'm gettin' on exceedin' well in London.
see now, however, that made q mistake
in orderin' my close after left home. The
trooth is the taller in my little village owed
me a pig and didn't see any other way of
gettin' my pay. Ten years ago these close
would no doubt have been shn'ble, and
perhaps they would be ekally similar ten
years hens. But now they're diff rently
The taller said he know'd they was all right,
because he had brother in Wales who kept
him informed about London fashins reg lar.
This was infamus faisehood. But as the
ballud says (Which / heard gentleman
in a new SCOT of black close and white kid
gloves sing t'other night Never don't let
us despise man because ne wears ragged
coat | don't know as we do. by the way,
tho we centrally get out of his way pretty
rapid; prob'ly on account of the pity which
tears our bossums for his unhappy c0ndi-
ton.
This last remark is sarcastic and with
erin thrust at them bloted people who live
in gilded saloons. tho't I'd explain the
the meanin' to you. frekently have to ex-
plain the meanin' of remarks. l know one
man-he's man of varid complishments-
who often reads my articles over 20 times
afore he can make anything of 'em st all,
Our skoolmaster says this is 9 pecoolearity
of geneyus. My wife says it is pecoo-
| liarity of internal nonsens. She's ex-
ceedin' practycal woman. I luv her muchly
however, and humer her little ways. It's a
recklis falsehood that she henpecks me, and
| the young man in the naberhood who said
to me one evenin', as l was mistenin my
diafram with gentle cocktail at the vii
lage tavun-whc said to me in this very lam
gwidge, $50 home. old man, onless you de-
sires to have another teapot throwd at you
by Il. j." probly regrets havin' said SO.
l said, .sBetsy Jane is my wives front
name, gentle yooth, and | permits no per-
son to alood to her as B. j., outside of the
family circle, ov whichsI am principally it
myself. Your other observations | scorn
and disgust, and l must polish you off .
He was a able-bodied young man, and re-
movin' his coat. he inquired if | wanted
to be ground to powder? l said yes; if
there was a powder grindist handy, nothin'
would afford me greater pleasure, when he
struck me painful blow into my right eye,
causin' me to make rapid retreat into the