Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1866-11-28

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ootch himat hit, an he got the spoons
While this was gwin on, ole Thad. tIiec
to claim kin wifi the devil, a cOmparin
his foot along wifi ole Nick's. l think
the pint war to get an offs, for heal
the devil keep sayin'.. "No, no, l be
damn if do. We has order her now.
An all the time old Wade were a pester-
ing his Majesty for a free ticket on his
doggery. I see that the devil were get
tin monstrous uneasy. Wendell Phillips
kept watchin fust the side that went
down onder the climbers, an then the
side what come up out owe the lake. He
list hoped overheard and swum over
thar an tryin' his durndest to turn hit
t'other way, he grab the slopin side of
the elects, an hold on as long as he
could, and then slosh back agin among
the melted dog irons and birthstone. |
recon he must made fifty trials afore he
quit an swum back to the bote, an then
-sot in the most yearnest manner to per-
suadin' the devil to take off the elects
an nail 'em on again upside down, SO as
to run hell backwards, an ov course the
outside world with it, without givin' a
single reason why hit wud help the mat
ter. This made the devil bile over. He
sed not one of them should stay there
another hour. That they'd raised re-
bellion and destroy the institution, an
then what would the world do, particu-
larly New England
1 tell you he just rared sez he, III
clear my dominion ov you burned quick, "
and he ranged a big bomb mortar, what
war in the bote, point blank at the hatch
hole, and he loaded in ole Wade, feet
fust, and made Forney fetch hit of, BY
gOlly he went whizzing through the
hole. an hit rained whisky on the lake
until hit burnt blue. Next he grabbed
ole Tbad; SCI he, tremblin', "please yer
majesty, load her with me" pintin to
a she nigger strung on a chain sez he,
the devil, "nO sir, I think we can manage
her arter you is gone, an besides, she
looks like she needed a little rest" Bo-
land an l jist cotch glimpse of Thad's
hooked foot, scrapin' a splinter off the
hatch combin. Next he yoked Sumner,
an he begged TO be loaded head fust as
he said he'd always travelled sturn fust
thru life, an he wanted to finish his
Journey in the-same way, or account Of
his record So, sturn lust he came outen
the mortar, sturn fust he went outen the
hatch hole, an | reckon sturn fns5 he
busted agin somethin' away yonder on
the outside. Butler, surnqmed the Beast
come next. While the devil wer a load
ing him in. I observed him busy but,
tonin' up his pockits. When the mortar
fred, wer watchin- the hatch clost !;
[ didn't ike the idea of his leavin; hut
dam if he went thar, lie follered the line
of his crooked eye, and busted into a
million of pieces agin the wall. Spoons
an breasipins fell foot deep all over
the lake. an I hearn the wimmin cheer.
The devil then licked his lips, an went
for Wendil, but he iist leeped overheard
and dove, and to save bis life the devil
couldn't find him. He'll raise trouble
thar vet, see if be don't. Next he grab
bed Forney, his sherman, an sez he,
"you don't steer tn suit me, an he
commenst loadin him in, an don't you
believe, list as the cuss's head were a
goin, out owe sight, he whispered in the
devils year that I we're Jamison the
actor. The devil remarked, "Tve nuf-
fu' agin Jamison, you is the one )" mad
at me, bv golly, jist because he seed the
beast whisperin' wit me, and because the
beast out-smarted him in the spoon bust
ness. I hearn somethin' like quack
quack down the bowels Of the mortar,
an then hit went of, an so did the duck.
Thar'Il be peace in hell fur a while, il
the devil can only find Wendil an re-
construct the burned rascal. Old smutty
reached for me the last one. an put me
down in his gun, l sot into begin hard.
Sez he you must go the prosperity of
my kingdom demands that nothing hav-
ing the smell of radical on its close can
stay yere. 1 seed you whisperin' wifi
the Beast, an I'd shoot out ole Robespire
hisself. if | were TO catch him at sich an
ornarv trick, an he's been helpin roll
hell rOun in an orderly way ever since
the French Bevolution. By golly / jist
limbered all over, the gun roared an l
wakened. Now, what do you think was
the matter with me? Why, old Bob
Hays we're tryin his durndest to splinter
a four foot board over my sturn, said he
wanted me to git outen his paster afore
he shut the gate for the night. [ wer a
swettin' orfuI, George, perfectly orful. 1
sorter wish I had dreamed on little
longer. I'd liked powerful well to a
found out what become ov ole Thad arter
he were shot out ov hell. Hit'll sorter
iniure bis character, won't hit, as he
roams thru nothin, forever, 1 believe if
I'd been him, ia rather a staid thar wifi
my she niggcr. Been hard on her
though poor devil, an little too good
for him. Aint I hoss on skeery dreams.