Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1866-05-29

- There is boy down East who is accus-
toned to go out on the railroad track and i'm
itate the steam whistle so perfectly as to de-
ceive the officer at the station. His last at
tempt proved eminently successful the depot
master came out and switched" him off.
An EugIishman, Boosting of thesuperiority
of the horse in his country, mentioned that the
celebrated Eclipse had run mile in a minute.
''My good fellw," exclaimed an American present,
shat is less than the average rate of common
roadsters. live in my country seat, near Pills.
delphia, and When ride in hurry 10 town of
morning, my own shadow can't keep up with me-
but generally comes into the warehouse to find me
a minute to a minute and half after my arrival.
One morning the beast restless and rode
him hard as l could several times round a large
factory, just TO take the old Harry out of him.
Well sir, he went so fast that the whole time saw
my back directly before, and was twice in danger
Of riding over myself" .
"A young couple had ben married by "A
Quaker, and after the ceremony he remarked to
the husband:-"Friend, thou art now at the end of
thy troubles: A few weeks after, the young man
came to the good minister, boiling over with rage
(his wife was regular vixen,) 81 thought you
told me that l was at the end ofmy troubles?'
$50 did, friend, but did not say which end.'
"A man who was Boosting that there never
was any rope cord, whether made of hemp wire
or anything else in which he could not tie double
bow not, was summariy put down by being reques-
ted to tie a knot in a cord of wood.
WHY was our neighbor ofthe Democrat,
when he was schoolmaster, like hungry dog?
Because he licked his chaps.
"A distinguished female writer saws that
the men are fast" Well, they must be exceeding
y so to catch the women.
The first part of married life is the shine
OF the honeymoon; the rest, too often, common
moonshine.
Josh Billings says he always advises short
sermons, especially hot Sunday. If a minis
ter cannot strike oil in forty inmates he has either
got poor gimlet or else he is boring in the wrong
place.
WY are most ladies, who go TO dry good
stores at this season of the year, like gentlemen
who seem to be detected? Because they are looking
t0TLoTzi (tor la1rn.
Talking about May, can you tell me how il
is that the tree can put on their summer clothing
without opening their trunks? Because they Ieare
it out.
Tile feast of Imagination is described as
follows" When your stomach is empty, and
book pocket ditto cit down and read cookery
.--Other goods may have declined, but the
rise IN hoopskirts on the street present is quite
,baT Agrnrians however, like it, because
more oil good society than they ever could before
"a yankee witness in court described .
hog as having no particular ear-marks except a
very short tail. 1922
-What length ought a ladies' crinoline 10
be! a little above two feet. ~
,--Mh ich are the li.htest rnen-Sco;chnen
frishmen, Eagshmen? In ireland ILsr" "-
men Of Cork: in Scotland of Ayr (air); but
on the Thames they are lighter men. :
.:-,-- -The right il the right place. A
husband at home in the evening
-Mrs Darlington says the only way to pre-
vent steamboat explosions is to make engineers
PIE the water on shore. In her opinion, all the
Dustin Is done by cooking the S team on board
When is baby not baby? When it's
teething (tea thiDg)
-Why is a human windpipe like the PoDe's
Observation-Disclosures it is a necks communication
Gan exeommunication)
-, Why are ideas like boards? Because men
get them when they grow up and acomen nercr
-Young ladies very economical They
resort to tight iacing in order to avoid ,caisness.
Macmillan is said to be a descendant of
the CAESARS He certainly is the seizer oFMexico.
An Irish paper adverrises, "Wanted, an
able>sodied man as washer woman: