Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1866-03-23
The First Baky.

BY the Rev. Mr7, J, w. G. 10 @. L. @.
only daughter, &c, mo cards
We die say no baby! i have one of those
interesting little animals at home. 1t came
when il rained like the devil, dark as pitch,
and my umbrella at the store, no car Running.
The doctor lived five miles due West, and the
nurse SIX miles due East and when got home
10 the bosom Of my family, the condensed milk
man was at the next door. It's a fanny little
chap, that baby: Solferino color, and the length
of a Bologna sausage. Cross ] guess not.
I'm, UNI; il commenced chasing me down the
pathway of life just when muslin, linen, ana
white flannel were the highest they had been
since Adam built hen house for Mrs. Ewes
chickens. The doctors charge two dollars a
squinf, four dollars a grunt, and on account OF
the scarcity OF rain in the country, take what Is
left in a mans pocket, no discount for cash.
and send bill for balance, January LIST. a ueer
little thing is that baby; speck of nose like
a wart; head as bald as squash, and no place
TO hitch WATERFALL; mouth just suited to come
the gum game and chew milk Oh crackee
you should hear her sing. have bumped u,
stuffed my fnr cap down Its throat, given II
the smoothing iron to play with, but that little
led lump hat looks as If II couldn't hold blood
enough to keep a mosquito from fainting,
persists in yelling like thunder II shows
a great desire to swallow its fists, and
the other day they dropped down its
throat, and all that prevented their going
clean through was the crook IN its elbows.
1t stopped its music and 1 was happy for
one and q half minutes. Its pleasant
thing TO have a baby in the house-one of your
belly-ache kind. Think OF the pleasures OF
hour, with his warm feet upon square yard
OF cold oil cloth, dropping paregoric IN n tea
spoon, by moonlight, the nurse humping on
the door. wife of your bosom shouting hurry
and the baby yelling Till the frescoe drops from
the ceiling. It's a nice time to think of dress
coats, pants, ties and white kids. Shades of
departed cocktails what a picture for an artI-
Gle in Plaster Paris. Its mother says the dar-
ling is troubled with wind on the stomach: it
b ats Ill the instruments You ever heard of I
have 70 get up in the cold and shlyer while the
milk WARNS; it uses the bottle. L have
cradle with the representation OF a
miraculous soothing syrup bottle on
the dash board. i tried 20 stop its breath
me other night. IL was no go: 1 rocked il
so lard II missed stays, and sent ii slap clear
acres me room, npsettinS jar Of preserves.
IL d.dLt make any noise, then! Oh no. its
mother says only wait TIL il gets bleached dts
been vacciDated,) and old enough TO crawl
about and feed on pins. Yes, am going to
wait. Won't il be delightful. John, run for
the doctor, sis has fell in the slop pail and is
choking with potato skin; sis has fell down
stairs; Sis has swallowed the tack hammer:
shows signs of the mumps, Group, whooping
cough, smallpox, collie, dysentery, cholera in
fantum, or some other darn thing to let the
doctor take the money laid by for my winters
corn beef. and all this comes OF my shampoou-
ing and curling my hair, wearing nice clothes,
and locking handsome, gong counting and
making my wife fall in love and marry me.
sThe cholera still prevails in Southern
Russia, where the mildness of the winter has
produced a great deal of illness.