Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1866-10-11
05lo States1rl1o;aI'n&,. \; 1 !.
THE FRONTIER WEDDING.
BY THE MINISTER'S WIFE.


we reached the log house of Mr.. Burke, the
father Of the expectant bride, about noon.
A dozen tow-haired children were at the
door waiting our arrival. They telegraph
ed thenews instantly. iH.i ~ iH.h3'
"Marmi marin here's the elder and his
woman They'renothing but folks! She's
got mans hat on and turkeys wing in
the front of it; his nose is just like dads,
crooked as q cowhorn squash" 1.iH s'
Alas for Mr.. Morrison's aquiline nose, of
which he was a little vainl
"Sam 7" cried a shrill female voice from
the interior Of the cabin, ''run out and grab
the rooster and I'll clap him into the pot
Sal, you quit that churn and sweep the
floor. Kick that corn-dodger under the
bed. Bill, you wipe that cheer for the min
ister's wife, and be spry about it," ''
Further remarks were cut short by our
entrance. |'| noe Ili.i ID ....
Mrs. Burke, in calico short gown, blue
petticoat and bare feet, came forward, ,'wip-
ing her face on her apron. 'aH.4 i'
''How do you DO, elder? How dye do,
marm? Must excuse my head, bain'B had
no chance to comb 1t since last week. Work
must be did, you know. Powerful sharp
air, hain'tit2 Shoe there! Bill, drive that
turkey out of the bread trough. Sal, take
the lady's things. Set right up to the fire,
marm. Hands cold? Well, just run 'em
through Bill's hair--keep it long a pur-
pose" .'
Bill presented his shaggy hair, but de-
clned with an involuntary shudder. ''
claws, if she amt actually shivering"
cried Mrs. Burke. Bring in some more
wood. Here, marm, take this hot corn
dodger inter your lap-it's as good as a
soapstone."
A fearful squall announced the execu-
ton of the rooster, and. shortly afterward
he was bouncing about in four quart ket-
tie, hung over the fire. Sal returned to her
churn, but the extraordinary visitor must
have made her careless, for she upset the
concern, and butter and buttermilk went
swimming over the floor. "Grah the ladle,
Bill" cried Mrs. Burke, "and help dip it up.
Fake keer-don't put that snarl of hair in.
Strange how folks will be so nasty! Dick,
do you keep your feet out of the butter
milk it won'G be fit for the pigs when the
buffers gathered. Drive that hen out,
quick, she's picked up pound of butter
already. There, Sal, do try and churn a
little more keertul. If you are gwine to be
spliced Tomorrow, you needn't run crazy
about it,"
81 advise you to dry up !" remarked the
VI llO SlCSl1 away oO WV
BY the time had got fairly warmed din
ner was ready, and you may be sure l did
not injure myself by over eating.
Night came on early, and after social
chat about the events of Tomorrow, sig
nified my desire to retire.
Sal lighted pitch knot and climbed a
ladder in one corner of the room. hesita-
ted. n1" '.
''Come on" cried she, don't be afraid.
Sam, and Bill, and Dick, and all the rest OF
we, duck your heads while the elders wife
goes up. Look out for the loose boards,
marin; and mind or you'll smash your
brains out against that beam. Take keer
of the hole where the chimney comes
through"
Her warning came too late. caught my
foot in the end of board, stumbled and
fell headlonS through what seemed inter-
minable space, but it was only to the room
had Just left, where was saved from de-
struction by Bill, who caught me in his
arms and set me on my feet, remarking
coolly: .. '.'
"What made you come that way? We
generally use the ladder"
L was duly cOmmiSerated, aud at last got
to bed. The less said about that night the
better. Bill and Dick and the others slept
in the same room with us, and made the
air vocal with their snoring. / fell asleep
and dreamed was just being shot from
the muzzle of a Columbiad, and was awak-
ened by Mr.. Morrison, who informed me
that it was morning. .
The marriage was to take place before
breakfast, and Sally was already clad in
her bridal robes when l descended the lad.
der.
She was magnifcentin green calico over
crinoline full four inches larger than the
rest of her apparel white apron with red
strings, blue stockings, yellow neck rib
bon, and white cotton gloves. Her reddish
hair was fastened in a plug behind, and
well adorned with the tail feathers OF the
detunct rooster before mentioned.
When it was announced that Lem Lord
the groom, was coming, Sally dived behind
coyerlet, which had been hung across one
corner of the room to conceal sundry pots
and kettles, and refused to come forth. Mr.
Lord lifted one corner of the curtain and
peeped in, but quickly retreated with @
stew pan, and few words from Sally ad-
vising him to mind his own business. o.
Lemuel was dressed in blue with bright
buttons. The entire suit had been made
for his grandfather on similar OCCASION
His hair was well CREASED with tallow, and
his huge feet encased in skin pumps. i
Very, soon the company began to gather
and the room was well filled. Air
Snow, elder" cried the groom, "drive
ahead l want 1t done up nice; Im able to
pay for the job; do you hear9 Come, Faith
er Burke, trot out your galw
But. Sally refused to be trotted. She
would be married where she was, or not al
all. We urged and coaxed, but she was
firm, and it was finally concluded to let heI
have her own way. Hi .lu', .' .uaE
MIR. Morrison stood; the happy couple
Joined hands through rent in the coverlet
and the ceremony proceeded. Just as Mr.
Morrison was asking Lemuel, ''will you
have this woman,n etc, down came tht
coverlet, enveloping bridegroom and pas
tor, and filling the house with dust. Dick
had been up in the loft and cut the strings
which held it. Mr. Morrison crawled out
looking sheepish, aud Sally.was obliged tc
be married openly. To tie momentous
question Lemuel responded, "To be shIire
what else did / come here for?p and Sally
replied, "Yass, if you must know"
hSalute your BRIDE" said Mr.. Morrison
when all was over. 20 N.H'i' .hS s5ci
s.sf'm ready to do anything, elder,p sale
Lemuel, ''but skin me if / know about
that, sir, Just show me how, and I'll do i
| If it kills me-" '''
NV husband drew back, but Sally ad.
| yanced, threw her arms around his neck
and gave him kiss that made the very
Windows clatter. =" 3''
70 "I yum, if / don't do dittoT" cried Lem
| uel. and hastily taking huge bite from {
piece of maple sugar which he drew from
his rocket, he made dash at me, Smashed
| NV collar, broke my watch-guafd into 3
dozen pieces, tore my hair down and sue