The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1866-05-19
WIT AND WISDOM.

The Right Man ia tire EigS. Place-A
husband at home in the evening".
Tears are natures lotion for the eyes.
The eyes see better for being washed with
them
swoRkrSs fer bare life,p is defined TO Be
making clothes for q new baby.
A MAN advertises for competent persoDst 90
undertake the sale OF a new medicine, and
adds 'that it viii be profitable 70 the under
taker." -..
What precious stons should have been
placed at, the gate Of Eden after the expul-
sion Adamantine (Alam amt in).
A WESTERN paper describing the debut Of
Young orator, says that "he broke tn ice
felctously with his opening sentence, and
was almost Immediately drowned with ap-
plause."
TaE following is the latest connntrum
which we find in our exchanges Why do
the little birds feel depressed early n
SUNNI morningg Because their Little bills
are all over dew"
a. German writer says young girl il a
fishing rod the eyes are The hook, tine smile
the bate, the lover the gudseou, and the
marriage the batter in which nc j. fried.
What VIII the girls say Of that German
/" think you must allow said pOnp-
GUS gentleman, THAT my jests are very
fair " Sir, your jests are like YOURSELF
was the quiet resort; "their age reuders
them respectable"
II THINK" said fellow the other day, 81
should make a good Parliament man, for
use their language. | received two bills
short time since, with requests for imme1i-
ate payment; the one | ordered 10 he laid
on the taole-the other to BE read that day
six months"
OsE of the editors af New Orleans pa
per, soon after beginning to learn the print
| ing business, went to court a preachers
daughter. The next time he went to meet
ing he was taken down at hearing the minis
ter announce mis- text-"My daughter Il
grievously tormented with devil.
A CAssY.-A philosophical cahman thus
speaks Of tie action over which his wlseeis
| make tracks s-"If you run over q youngster
down here" said he, ''the folks don't say
lnothin' kase they have got more children,
and no wittles for en-; but you Jist run
over goat or a kid, or a SOW c. pig, and
blest If whole mob ain't after you in two
minits -
"ARs you skilful mechanict"
| Yes SIR"
"What can you make ?"
4 Ons almost all tlllllE iil II iiuc.
"Can YOU make deyil2
"Certainiy, just put up your foot and
will spit 1t in three seconds, never saw =
chap in nv life that needed less alteration" I"
| A NoarH Stoffordshire farmer fancied he
had been attacked with rinderpest, and con
suited practitioner The doctor who was
Ia wag, sent him to the druggist with the
following prescription This man has got
the cattle plague take him into the back
yard and shoot him according u the Act Of
Parliament There is no need Of saying
that this was a''Pcrfect Cure"
II GESrINs ELoouEScE.--There are no peo-
pie in the world with whom eloquence u 50
universal as with the Irish. When Leigh
Richie was travelling in Ireland, lie passed a
man who was a painful spectacle Of ps'ior,
squallor, and raggedness. His heart sm'te
him, and he turned back. "lf you are IN
want" said Richie, "why don't you beg?'
'Surely, it's begging | am yonr honor" f"
I"You didn't say a word?" "Of course not,
your honor, but see how the skin Is speak
in through my trousers and the bones
Icrying out through my skin! Look at my
sunken cheeks, famine that's starin in me
eyesl Man alive, isn't it beggin' am with
a thousand tongues 2"