American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1866-11-14
WIT AND wIsDoM.
."The Long Strike"-Twelve !

-Epitaph on Printer-Dead matter
Matches Misery Having
cigar and nothing to light it with.
Who was the first little boy mention
ed IN the Bible? Chap |,
What is fashion Dinner at mid
night, and headache in the morning.
| Caution to the Ladies-A silk dress
should never be satin.
-Wanted-Some milk from the
oceans breast.
When wife hugs her husband it is
always because she wants to 'got around
him"
Why should we never sleep in a
railway carriage because the train al
ways rups over sleepers. y
Model wives formerly took "a stitch
in time," but now, with the aid of sew
ing machine, they take one in no time.
Avoid early rising. HThe early bird
catches worms !" then they have to take
vermifuge aud all sorts of disagreeable
medi2ines p
"A sentimental old bachelor says q
woman's heart is the ''sweetest" thing in
the world in fact a perfect honey comb
full of sells Beware.
"A Mystery cleared up-No wonder
that ghosts enter rooms though the doors
are locked, They are all provided with
skeleton Keys. a." '-.'l = tJt4 g
AT printers festival lately the fol-
lowing toast was offered: "Woman-
second only to the press in the dissem-
ination of heRs"og ..........yr7fga.'A
| IA tailar, having set up his carriage,
asked Footc for motto. "There is one
from Hamlet said the wit, "that will
match you to a 5utton-hole: List, list !
oh list w
"A lady, meeting girl who had late
ly left her service, inquired, "Well, Ma
ry, where do you live now2" "Pleasc,
ma'am, don't live any where now," re-
piled the girl, ''Pm married" )"
When we picture the hundred or
more trunks that ladies travel with, we
can not help rejecting how happy is the
elephant, whose wife when on journey
has only one trunk.
To ascertain if your gun is loaded,
put your foot on the hammer and blow
the muzzle, letting the hammer slip from
under the foot and descent with smart
force on the nipple. If the gun is load
ed you will be notified of the fact
-"Ma," said the pride Of the family
who had seen some seven sum ners, edo
you know why our tom-cat is like poet?"
Ma didn't. "Why," exclaimed the pre-
cious pet, doesn't he go out mooDligh.
nights to invoke the mews?" 's
-"My son, hold up your hand and
tell me who was the strongest man Z"
Jonah"
"Why so?
Cause him the whale couldn't hold
after he got him down"
Mr.. White will you have the kind
ness to lend me ten do!lars?.'
Certainly-upon one condition"
"Name it,"
"That you tell me why your request is
like the back of my neck 7"
l must give it up"
Well, it is because Icantsee tP
"A whiskey drinking Irishman was
brought before a magistrate named Por-
ter, charged with being drunk and dis
] orderly. The magistrate committed the
delinquent to prison for a month, telling
him that would give him time enough to
curse whisky. "Yes, faith," was the
prisoners reply, "apd Porter too"
| Scene at the counting room of a
morning per.LEntor man of
Teutouic tendencies, considerably the
worse for last nights spree aioT
Teuton Ito the man at the desk). "If
| you please, sir, I wants de paper nit dis
-mesnings--One yot hash de names of the
beebles yot kills cholera all de yile." ie
He was handed a paper and after look.
ing. oyer it IN q confused way, said.- z
yiHI you tpe 80 good as to read de
names vot don't ebaye the ,oholsra any
more too soon just now, and see il Carl
Gcinsenkoopenoffen hash got em 2,
The clerk very obligingly read the list,
the Teuton listening with trembling at-
tsntion, wiping the perspiration from his
brow meanwhile in great excitement.-
When the list was completed the name of
Carl G Geinsen-well, no matter about the
whole of it-wasn't there. The Teutons
| face briphteped up. and he exclaimed