Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1866-04-26
THE EVENING NEWS.

NAAlNAA IN
its: NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. l come 70
visi, YOUR school. ami suppose l might
a. well inform you now as at any other
t;mc-ahem-I am now Superintendent Of
p,b,;c schools in this county," Teacher
-"Indeed! did not know that there
had been a new elections mo, I've
bsen decided in, on the old canvass. I'll
bs,r YOU instruct a little while to-day.
Go ahead" Teacher-"Is there any class
IN particular you'd like to have me call
up first" Pompey-"Well, you may call
up the best class you can raise in geogra-
phv." reacher-"First class in geography
will come forward for examination" The
scholars summoned having been duly ar
ranged in recitation place and order. the
teacher hands Superintendent one Of the
books the pupils have been studying and
awaits, with her class, the i~nterrogations
of the new officer. Pompey-"ln what
State is the city Of Massachusetts," Small
est girl in the class-of a dozen pupils
commences snickering. Irrcpressible. The
example is contagious, the whole class
soon engaged in attempting to smother
Siggling spasms. Pompey-" Why don't
some OF you answer my question: What
do you mean by putting your hands to
your mouths: Don't you learn better
manners than that N this school: Come
now! You. you tallest damsel of the heap:
III what State Is the city Of Massachu-
~set,s:" Observation-Disclosures is not in
any State /; it is not a city," Pompey-
What's that: How long have you been
studying geography" Pupil-Three years
here and in California" Pompey-
And you don't know where the city Of
Massachusetts is situated. Looking
round reproachfully at the teacher, who
stands in the rear, and has at least one
pocket handkerchief in her m~outh--pre-
sen;iug an inelegant but very necessary
appearance on the occasion)-you don't
know yet where the city Of Massachusetts
is situated: I'll tell you, then. and
hope once for sll-(another contemptuous
glance a, the ,eacher) III tell you-the
city Of Massachusetts, is in the State OF
Hartford, county Of Connecticut. Wal
YOU remember what l tell you:" yes
scream the members Of the entire class;
glad 20 have and improve an opportunity
for a yell, relieving their 100 long pent up
disposition TO shrek with laughter. "Well,
| swear, that's q queer way 10 answer
says Pompey; "do you always speak IN
concert. in that same mild tone Of voice,
when you answer q question categori-
cally:" Some howled "Y-s-J!" others
e No." on this chance for a relief burst.
" WE'LL" exclaims Pompey, "this is the
oueerest class ! ever struck" Here the
smalles, boy in the row speaks up: Mas
sachusetts is not a city, sir Nsssachu-
sets is a State. and Hartford IS a city
in the State of Connecticut" Pompey-
Here. MADAM, expel that boy-ge, out
Of this, bub-don't you come into this
school any more. You're equally impu-
den, and ignorant. Get out Of here
(makes a break for the boy with his cane)
get out OF this, YOU ignorant young
puppy" Boy vamoses Teacher (com-
ing torward)-"The boy has stated the
facts as his Geography has taught him.
He is correct according 10 the maps
Ponpey-"Well, then, this is d. pretty
geography you have been teaching here.
l come into office. I imagine, just in time
20 save the educational interests Of this
county from utter Generalization"
Teache. with Gn air Of mingled wonder
and dissust)-"The boy was correct. &C.
cording 10 his books and maps" Pompey
-"Wha, did Collins mean BY having such
books and maps introduced here: Why,
madam. l wrote an editorial. this morn
ing, tina, would make any small boy laugh
in derision and contempt for the author, II
he re6d it and supposed that such seogra-
ply as I've heard here, to-day. was cor
rect" Teacher-"Very likely" Pompey
What! do you mean 10 insult me
Have q care, madam :" Shaking his cane
az the lady, who regards the fosminS tel-
low with an expression Of profound dis
gus,) Teacher (very deliberately)-"l
DON, mean to insult you, sir but think
YOU are either mad or intoxicated. do
no, believe you have any commission here
as Superintendent. Il is disgraceful II you
have :" Pompey-"Ha! ha! There's
YOUR idea, is il, madam: III soon show
YOU my commission. And nothing is
more probable than that I'll soon cancel
YOURS. drawing a letter from his pocket.)
Read that, madam, and weep for the day
of YOUR dismissal draweth nigh. Hand
ing letter 10 ,eacher.) I just received that
from nv attorney; il states that l have
gained my case against Collins, before
Judge Mesick, and am consequently
Superintendent of Common Schools IN
Storey county," Teacher-with eviden,
enthusiastically states just the reverse;
Il saws you have not gained the suit"
Pompey-"W What! (snatching the epistle
from the teachers hand, and r%e-reading
i,l what! That's q cussed queer way TO
write a negative. i have TO inform you
,ha, YOU have not gained -. Amt
tina, a strange style for q letter conveying
,ha, character Of intelligence; I thought
i, said I had gained: but I'll swear | be-
lieve yours right-it's have not gained
III 20 up and see if my attorney amt mis-
taken" Teacher" You will be kind
enough TO leave the school house, so soon
as possible" Pomp.y-" Madam. If I'm
not 10 be Superintendent, l beg leave to
express the hope you'll improve your
Geography class" Teacher-"I shall
send for a policeman il you don't leave at
once" Pompey-"Tve seen enough Of
this school, Madam, to furnish a theme for
an editorial crusher on your teaching"
TEACHER" Please 10 leave at once, sir
don't interrupt my class-reci,ations any
longer. Write your editorial crusher,'
and pu, as much Geography in it as pos.
sible." Pompey-"I will, Madam and
You'll laugh out Of the other side OF your
mouth, when you see it. Good day.
Madam 90 Several scholars shouting (:
-irrepressible-"Good radiance" Pom
pey-"S Such manners! Just ft 10 go
with such Geography" (Mus,erins as he
departs: y "D-n my luck ! leaving a
good game of seven up with Caesar and
Benbsm, on a false reading Of this letter.
Blu, IN have my revenge on that teacher
and her Geography class! Such ignor-
,nce, III be back in time. l imagine, so
I won't lose q chance in but one game OF
-even.up."
Music HAIL.-This evening" Harry
Sinclair takes q benefit, on which occasion
an extra fine bill will be presented
among other things their grand S'eEeo-
.copticornucopion will be presented, with
Jobnnv Collins as lecturer. Some nity