Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1866-10-24
Artemus Yard In EngIand-He
Visits Shakespaeare's Grave
and CrIticIses Chaucer.

Visits Shakespaeare's Grave
and CrIficIses Chaucer.
Ar. Punch, Ny Dear Sir:
I've been lingerin by the Tomb of the
lamented Shakespeare.
1t is a success.
! l do not hesitate to pronounce it as
such.
: You may make any use of this opinion
that you see fit. If you think its publ
cation will subswerve the cause of itera,
too, you may publicate it.
/ | told my wife Betsy when left home
that should go to the birthplace If the
authur of OthelLeT and other plays. She
said that as long as kept out of New
gate she didn't care where went. "But,
said /, don't you know he was the great
est Poit that ever lived? Not one of the
common potts, like that young idyit who
writes verses to our daughter, about the
Roses that growse, and the Breezes that
blowses-but Boss Poit-also a philoso-
pher, also a man who knew a great deal
about everything.
She was packing my things at the time,
and the only answer she made was to ask
me if l was going to carry both of my red
flannel night caps.
Yes. Pve been to Stratford onto the
Avon, the birthplace of Shakespeare
Mr.. S. is no more. He's been dead over
three hundred 1907 years. The people
of his nativa town are justly proud of him.
They cherish his mem'ry, and them as
sells picturs Of his birthplace, etc., make
it profitable cherishin it. Almost every
body buys pictur to put in their Albion.
As 1 stood gazing on the spot where
Shakespeare is supposed to have fell down
on the ice and hurt hisself when a boy
(this spot cannot be bought-the town
authorities say it shall never be taken
from Stratford, wondered if three hun
dred years hence pictures of my birthplace
will be in demandi Will the people of
my native town be proud of me in three
hundred years? 1 guess they won't short
of that time, because they say the fat man
Weighin ZOO pounds which l exhibited
there was stuffed out with pillars and
cushions, which he said, one very hot day
in July, 20 bother, 1 can't stand this"
and commenced pullin the pliers out
from under his wesket, and heavin 'em
at the audience. l never saw a man lose
flesh so fast in my life. The audience
said was q pretty man to come chiselin
my own townsmen in that way. I said,
"Do not be angry. feller citizens. l ex-
hibit him simply as work of art. SIM
ply wished to show you that a man could
grow fat without the aid of cod liver oil. j."
But they wouldn't listen to me. They
are a low and grovelin set of people, who
excite feelin of loathin in every breast
where lofty emotions and original idees
have bidin place.
"And this" / said, as l stood in the
old church yard at Stratford, beside a
tombstone, "this marks the spot where
lies William W. Shakespeare. Alars! and
this is the spot whore lies"
you've got the wrong grave" said a
worthy villager. Shakespeare
is buried inside the church"
20" said /, ga boy told me this was it"
The boy larfed and put the shilling I'd
given him into his left eye in an inglori-
BUS manner, and commenced moVin back
wards towards the street.
Ipursood and captered him, and after
akin to him spell in a skarcastic style
let him went.
William Shakespeare was born in STRAIT.
ord in 1864. All the commentators,
scholars, etsetery, are agreed
IN this, which is about the only thing
hey are agreed on in regard to him, ex-
ept that his mantel hasn't fallen on any
,oet or dramatist hard enough to hurt
aid poet or dramatist much. And there
8 no doubt if these commentators and
'ersons oontiner investigator Shakspeare's
areer, we shall not in doc time, know
about it at all. When a mere
sd, little William attended the Gram
1ar School, because, as he said, the Gram
lar School wouldn't attend him. This
smarkable remark, comm from one so
oung and inexperienced. set the people :
} thinkin there might be somethin in {
MS lad. He subsequen tly wrote Hamlet :
nd George BarnWell. When his kind :
eacher went to London to accept a posi- {
on in the Office of the Metropolitan Rail !
ay, little William was chosen by his fell i
W pupils to deliver q farewell address. a
60 on, sir" he said, sin q glorious ca
ier. Be like a eagle, and soar, and the
arer you get the more we shall all be {
'atifed That's So" E
now about Shakespeare, had better get C
ese valuable remarks framed. a
returned to the hotel. Meetin young =
arried couple, they asked me if 1 could k
rect them to the hotel which Washing. Il
n Irving used to keep7 ia
1--WE understood he was unsuccessful oI
a landlord" )" said the lady. pi
We've understood" said the young In
an, that he busted up" IL
| told 'em l was a stranger, and hurried a
-ay. They were from my country and it
dOubtedly represented thrifty lie well D,
in FennsylVany. It's a com la
IN thing by the way, for old farmer T.
Pennsylvany to wake up some mornin k,
d find lie squirtin all around his back 81
I'd. He sells out for 'normous price, and
children put on gorgeous harness and
lrt on tour to astonish people. They
cceed in doin it. Meanwhile the lie
squirts and squirts, and time rolls on. r
It it roll.
A very nice old town is Stratford, and g J
,apital inn is the Red Horse. Every III
mirer of the great S. must go there n
ce, certainly; and to say one isn't an ad- ~ "
rer of him, is equivalent to saying one a. a.
5 jest about brains enough to become a -;
icient tinker! 81 81
Some kind person has sent me Chaw- ue
3 poems. Mr.. G. has talent, but he ", ~
lldn't spell. No man has a right to be - IL
rary man onless he can spell. 1t Pe
4 pity that Chawser, who had geneyus PJI
s so unedicated. He's the wust spell W ~
l know of. 70
guess Pm through, and so lay down e
, pen, which is mightier than thesword ~
t which Pm afraid would stand rayther ~, II
linn chance beside the needle gun. ou w
Adooi adool ARTENUs WARD. sai
~
Anna Dickinson. t:o ~:
The Boston Post says of her appearance un