The Portland daily press., 1866-12-28
s.,,mer, saloons.
Rni,w,.; last Christmas story, "Mul

he picture will answer TOR our /,
we'll: ,ho,,t what
am. meano What a pity!
You t MIN Won do. think you must. L3oh
i put am the boy at what is called the ne
l l.aah;noant Room at Mugby Junction, anu
,.hat's nroudest boast is that 1t never ye' iN
freshed mortal Delng; -, pafreshment
room al Mugby Junction, in the neiS ar,t-
txVenty-seven cross draughts Il We oi. go hair
% 'em while they brush the hTst Sias o,,nng
twenty-seven waysl benih the s'n west by the
s tno STOOD nretty far to the right OF eealiio
t;ao,t that,s at times the tea-urn ane az tios
~ SOM t1rcen, according to the natu,e VI .ile
-. tyvany impaired to its contents which arc
las1 smmne Groundwork, Tended off from the
.n e,aIIar Inv a barrier of stale sponge cakes
4,acted atop of the counter, and lastly e&poseu
70 the Glare of our Missis's eye-you ASK BOY
50 situated, next time you stop IN hurry at
Hnaby. for anything to drink; you take par
,icnlar notice that he'll try to seem not to hear
vou that he'll appear in a absent manner to
survey the line, through transparent medi-
nm composed of your head and body, and that
he won't serve you as long as you can possibly
After an inimitable description Of the re-
treshment rooms, the landlady is sent 10 ranoo
to see how affairs are managed 'he,e HAo
returns, and her servants are caiieu W near "ei
report:
THE BRITISH AND FRENCH nAii-ioD M
pRRsHMENT ROOMS.
~. Nf;sss returned 1t got circulated
49,, tha Young ladies', and as it might be
nanat5.ted TO me through the crevlces OF the
Remaining Room that she had errors TO re-
,Jaal IL revelations so contemptble could pc
dignified with the name; Agltatioh became
awahened. Excitement was in ths stlrrups.
fermentation stood a-tptoe. AT length 1t was
mt forth that ON our slackest evening In the
Pvaek. and at our slacl1est time of that evening,
betwixt trains, our Missis would give her views
Of foreign Refreshmenting, IN the bandohinns
Il should not enter, ladies" says
our Missis, "On the revolving disclosures am
about to make, if it was not in the hope that
thew will cause you TO be yet more implacable
in the exercise of the power yon wieia ~ "a
constitutional country, and yet more deyoted 10
the constitutional motto which /! see before me
1T was behind her, but the words sounded bet
Ter SOY May Albion never Learnt
Here the pupils az had made t9e mosso az y
mired it. and cried: "Hear! hearl hear" Sniff,
showing an inclination to join in the chorus,
cot himself frowned down by every brow,
aThe baseness of the French" pursued our
Missis, "as displayed in the fawning nature OF
their Refreshmenting, equals, It not eurpassess
ahythink as was ever heard OF the oasehess OF
the celebrated Bonaparte"
Miss Whit. Miss Piff and me, we drored
heavy breath, equal to saying, We thought as
much" Miss Whit and Miss Pif seeming TO
object to my droring mine along with theirs,
drored another to aggrayate 'em. :,
"Shal be believed, says our Missis, with
flashing ewes, "when tell you that no sooner
had set my foot upon that treacherous shore
Here Sniff, either busting out mad or think
ing aloud. says in a low voice: "Feet-plural,
you know"
- al ID koh &c hahn he.
meath contempt was sufficient punishment for
cove so groveling In the midst OF silence
rendered more impressive by the turned up re-
male noses with which it was pervaded our
Missis went on:
"Shail be believed when tell you that no
sooner had landed this word with killing
look at Sniff on that treacherous Shore than
was ushered into refreshment room where
there were, ! do not exaggerate, actually eat
able things to eat
A groan burst from the ladies' not only
did myself the honor of jining, but also OF
lengthening it out.
where there were." our Missis added, mot
only eatable things to eat, but also drinkable
things to drink"
A murmur, swelling almost into scream,
ariz. Miss Piff trembling with indignation,
called out, "Name."
81 aoiN name" said Our Missis. s'There was
roast fowls hot and cold; there was smoking
roast veal surrounded with Drowned potatoes;
there was hot soup with (again ask shall be
credited?) nothing bitter in it, and no -four to
choke off the consumer; there was variety of
cold dishes set off with jelly; there was salad
these was-mark me! fresh pastry, and that Of
light construction; there was luscious show
Of fruit There was bottles and decanters OF
sound small wine, Of every size and adapted to
every pocket; the same odious statement will
apply to brandy; and these were set out upon
the counter so that all could help themselves
Our Missis's lips so quiyered, that Mrs. Sniff
though scarcely less convulsed than she were
got up and held the tumbler to them
This, proceeded our Missis, "was my first
unconstitutional experience. Well would il
have been, if it had been my last and worst
But no. AS proceeded further into that en-
shaved and ignorant land, its aspect became
more hideous l need not explain to this as
sembly the ingredients and formation of the
British refreshment sangwich?
Universal aughter-except from Sniff, who
as sangwich-cutter, shook his head in a state
of the utmost detection as he stood with it agin
the wall.
'WellP' said Our Misss, with dilated nos
trils. Take fresh crisp long crusty penny
loaf made of the whitest and best -four. Cut il
longwise through the middle. Insert fan
and nicely fitting slice of ham. Tie smart
piece of ribbon round the middle of the whole
to bind it together. Add at one end a neat
wrapper Of clean white paper, by which to hold
it, and the universal French refreshment sang
witch busts on your disguised vision
A cry of "Shamew from all-except Sniff
which rubbed his stomach with soothing
hand.
81 need not" said Our Missis, explain to
this assembly the usual formation and fitting
of the British Refreshment Room?"
No no." and laughter. Sniff again shaking
his head in low spirits agin the wall.
SWELL" said Our Mssis, "what would you
say to general decoration of everything, to
hangings sometimes elegant,) to easy velvet
dance OF little seats, to brisk bright walters, to
great convenience, to pervading cleanliness
and usefulness positively addressing the pub
lie and making the Beast thinking itself worth
the palms."
COntemptuous fury on the part of all the la
dies, Mrs Sniff looking as if she wanted some
body to hold her, and everybody else looking
as if they'd rather not. *
"Three times said Our Missis, working her.
self into truly TREMENDOUS state, three
times did see these shame full things only be-
tween the coast and Paris, and not counting
either; at HazebrouclIe, at Arras, at Amiens
But worse remains; Tell me, what would you
call person who should propose in England
that there should be kept, say at our own mod
ell Mugby junction, pretty baskets, each hold
ing an assorted cold lunch and dessert for one
each at a certain fixed price, and each within
apassengers power to take away, to empty in
the carriage at perfect leisure, and to return al
another station, fifty hundr ed miles furth-
er on?
There was disagreement what such person
should be called. Whether revolutionist
atheist Bright II said him), or I'M English
Miss Pitf screeched her shrill opinion last, in
the words: "A malignant maniacp'
Il adopt" says Our Missis, ''the brand Sc,
upon. such aperson by the righteous indigna
ton Of my friend Miss Piff. A malignant mani
ac. Know then, that that malignant maniac
has sprung from the congenial soil of France
and that his malignant madness was in un
checked action on this same part of my jour
ney."
noticed that Sniff was a rubbing his hands
and that Mrs. Sniff had not got her eye upor
him. But l did OF take more particular no
tice, owing to the excited state in which the
young ladies was, and to feeling myself called
upon to keep itup with howl.
"On my experience south of Paris" said Om
Misss, in deep tone, 81 will not expatiate
Too loathsome were the task! But fancy this
Fancy guard coming round, with the train
at full speed to inquire how many for dinner
ElncY ms telegIa nhino forward the %.