The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1866-10-06
BOSTON.

"Boston is the cradle Of Lib Tht
place near where Mr.. Warren fell ant
hurt himself The place where Wendell
Phillips, the "silver tongucd" (what ,
gag y orator doth abide. 1t is the hui
of the universe and the dwelling place o
the big organ Boston thinks she is thu
largest place in this world or the next
Boston is very complacent burg-neal
by is the home of Boston's pet, the silver
ware stealing Ben. We rather like Bos
ton, for there is no village like unto il
from the fddling Of Nero to the Rcvcla
tion of st. John, n. b.
Half way between Providence and Bos
ton-for Boston is long ways from
Providence-as We were riding in cart
n still small voice, like the whistle of an
engine, broke upon the air A gentle.
man in the scat with us uncovered his
bald head and with smile bade us
listen!
Whats that ?" SAID we.
"The big organ in Boston," said he,
with funeralic wag Of his head.
"Thc devil !" said We
"Thou shalt not profane," said the
spokesman from the hub
"lIast been to Boston 7" asked he OF
the silvcr.tonguc.
eve hast notist," replied We, then
there to him.
He looked-'poor heathcn" lie said
we must visit the Cradle of Liberty. We
asked him if Fred Douglass and Anna
Dickinson had engaged that cradle yet
lie didn't see it. lie said We must visit
Fancuil Hall. We asked him what mig
ncr troupe was performing there now
He looked bcwildcrcd. Then he said We
must sec where Warren fell We asked
him If Warren ever got over 1.-THE
| place where he fell. lie appeared de-
moralized. He said we must hear the
| big organ before we left Boston.
We went to hear the big organ. II is
held in several buildings. 1t is one size
Ian ger than Boston.
Boston is the hub around which the
organ reyoIyea.
The organ is n revolver.
Like tho Boston organ, this is n big
play on words
People in New York and Buffalo hear
the moan of the sea.
The moan is the big organ.
1t is used in Mass.
1t has sort Of long island sound
Boston people go to heaven through the
big organ
That is when the niger is out so they
cannot 20 through him.
There arc but few gambling houses in
Boston. No such fellows are around that
hub
They don't play "straits" in Boston
Not in the streets.
Harvard College is just beyond reach
of the big organ.
Cambridge University is always in session.
II is a law school The pleading is done
at the bar oil the Parker House.
The studies at Cambridge are said To
be very dry. The studies affect the pu-
pills. Pleading at the bar affects them
likcwisc-or more like than wise.
No one ever gets lost in Boston The
city is so well organized
Like the big organ, Boston has numer-
Gus stops. Some of the streets are near
" as long - " Gsh- pole. But not so long
as Folks message.
If man don't like one street in
Boston, it is very easy to get on another
one.
After four DAYS trial we could get
from the Parker House to the City Hall
without getting lost This is a fact =
And in Five days We learned the route
from Scollay's Building to Engine House
No 4:
The business blocks in Boston are in
shape like Norwegian shoes
The streets in Boston are like hop
poles struck by lightning.
Some Of them arc so wide that a COW
could be MIXED in them by turning her
on her back and sitting astridc her bris.
ket
Small horses are driven abrcast-large
ones in tandem, in Boston.
The fat woman was exhibited there
oncc-in the big organ.
Boston streets are not so crooked as
might be. The sun has warped them
straight. Very clean in Boston. If
lady drops pin from her clothes, police
man makes her pick it up. If n man
shoots an apple seed out Of grocery he
is fined
Boston is very neat-especially near
the big organ and Cradle Of Liberty. IF
a man drops a remark he is made to pick
it up.
And Boston people are so modcst-they
underrate themselves terribly.
The streets of Boston must have been
thrown in at the time of some big fire
They are so regular. If you would find
any place, start in an opposite direction.
IF you see policeman coming toward
you, he is going the other way. If he
runs from you, he'll be where you are in
no time. Up hill is down, and "ovcr
there" is ''back here"
One day we started from the Office of
the Bostcn Post to the Boston Post Office,
seventy feet distant. We walked straight
ahead-went around seven blocks, saw n
policeman standing in a doorway on each
block-asked each one the route to the
post office. Saw the eighth policeman
asked him politely. Said he:
"Look here, this is the eighth time you
have asked me that question. Move on,
or up you go"
Thought the policemen must be broth
ers-they looked so much alike
Rather than to 90 around the block
again we went 'tother way, began to un-
wind, and got into the post Office by mis-
take. The front of the building is inside