The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1866-01-18
Bill Arp Addresses his Constlt-

/ ~
1 York, has been so fortunate as to en-
gage that very respectable and highly
humorous Georgia gentleman, Mr.. Bill
Arp, as a contributor to that paper
The following is his first contribution
Respektabuz People:
| address you on this okkashun with
profound admiration for the great con
sideration and the nice discrimination
which caused you to honor me by your
votes with a seat in the Sinate of Geor-
gy. For two momentus and inspirin
weeks the Legislature have been in sol
EN- session, one of whom / am proud to
be which. For several days we were
engaged as skouts, maxim sorter of re-
konysance to see whether Georgy were
State or lnjun terrytory whether we
were in the old Union, or out of it
whether me and my foxes and you and
your foxes were somebody or nobody,
and lastly, but by no means leastly,
whether our poor innocent children,
born durin the war, were all illegal and
had to be born over again or not. This
last pint are much unsettled, but our
women are advised to be kahn and Sc
reen.
Ny friends, our aim hav honestly
been to git you all back into the folds of
the gloryous old Union. Like the pro-
dygal son, we had nuthin to live on, and
feelin lonesome and hungry, have been
bowin and scrapin and maxim apologys
for five or six months. We have been
seen standin aflr off for weeks and
weeks, but durn the caf do they kill for
us. They know we've got nuthin, for
they eat up our substance, and as for
putin rings on our fingers, we couldent
e1pekt it until they bring back the jew
elry they carryed away I cannot say,
in the langwidge of the poet, that our
labor hav been labor of love, for we've
had monstrus poor encouragement to be
shore but we had all set our heads to-
wards the stars and stripes and we
jintly determined that, come wool come
wo, sink or swim, survive or perish,
thunder or litenin, we'd slip back, or
sneak back, or git back somehow or
somehow else, or we'd stay out forever
and ever amen and be hanged to EN-, SO
called, I golly.
Up to this time it hav been an ND
hill business. The team was good one
and the gears all sound and the wagon
creased, but the road are perhaps the
ru11est, rottenest corduroy in the world.
Its pub up and skotch, and pull up and
skotch, and ever and anonymous the
skotch slips out and the tung cuts round
and away we so into the gully Andy
Jonsin is the driver, and he says, eco
Slow and he hollers ."Wo wo!" and
loses the road, and then we hav to 90
back to the fork and wait till he blazes
the way. He seem to be doin his best,
but then there is Sumner and Satan and
Stevens and Davis and other like gen
tlemen, who keep hollerin at him and
crackin his whip and confusin his idees,
SO that sometimes we don't know wheth-
er he's gee-in or haw-in. Ny friends,
about them fellers, [ don't know what [
ort to say. If you do, or if anybody
does, wish they would say it. I don't
encourage cussin in nobody, not at all, /
but if you know of man that can't be
broke of it durin his material life, itmout
be well to hire him by the year. If
ther is IN all history good exkuse and
proper subjek, it is upon them hart
less, soulless, bowelless, gizzardless,
fratrisidel, suisidel, parasidel, sistersi-
del, abominabul, contemptibul, disgusti-
bul individuals. I sometimes think of
EN- till my brain gifts sorter added, and
l feel like becumin a volunteer conyikt
OF the Lunatik Asylorum. Charity in
clines me to the opiniyun that old Sum-
ner are crazy. [ think he has been
glttin worse ever since he took Brooks
on the brain, and it do seem like the
disease have proved contagus. Iftheyl
are for Peace it must be the Peace that
passeth all understandin for we can't
fathom it in these regions. They fout
us to free the poor niger but dident
keer for the Union. The Western bows
fout us for the Union but dident keer
for the niger. By double teaming on
us they licked us and we gin it up, but
now the one don't want our niggers and
the other don't want our Union, and its
the hardest skedule to pleas EN- both
that a. poor vanished neanuI avar 1,ndar