Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1866-12-25

| to the truly wonderful escape 1 made at the
battle of Seven Pines. I'll recount it to you.
You all know Old Johnston, Joe Johnston,
my intimate friend, General Joseph e. John
ston2 s'Stretcher,' says he one day to me-he
never called me by my title-Major-- SIM
ply, Stretcher, for we were very intimate-nay
more, bosom friends. s'Stretcher," says he,
''the enemy must be dislodged from that re-
doubt, or the men on the plateau will be cut to
pieces by their shot Stretcher, you are the
man on whom [ can depend. Take about a
hundred men from the reserve and flank the
battery. Do it in as quick time as possible.
| 1t was forlorn hope, gentlemen. but good
serve with the orders of the General, and re-
ceived the men. Hardy, looking fellows
they were! None less than seven feet in height,
boards a yard long, fists like sledge-hammers,
and feet big enough to cover grave tofit them
snugly. Well, we made our way through a
swamp half mile wide and half mile deep.
| The only obstacles we met with were the mos
quitoes, snakes and terrapins. The mosquitoes
were pretty thick, it's a fact SO thick that we
| bag Of indian corn. There might have been
matter Of hundred thousand snakes in the
swamp, but, will you believe it, gentlemen, that
| vast number was reduced to one single snake
that is, single to all appearances. You have
| heard of the wonderful instinct Of these crea-
lures? When in danger, they glide down the
parent snakes throat. On our approach in the
| swamp there was a tremendous skedaddling of
the reptiles, and, in few moments, only the
old snake could be seen, the others having
| sought refuge in her capacious stomach
How large was the cid snake MajorY' ask
ed Captain Smilax
"Oh, about the usual size,' was the reply,
| "a moccasin-6ve feet long
''And how broad 2" was asked. tt
| 'Gentemen,' y rejoined the Major, coloring a
little, II had public duty to attend to, and no
| time to spend on snake-measuring. Well, We
made our way through the swamp double quick
time It would have done your heart good to
see the boys go the shanghai trot through the
| mire! In some places where the earth was
particularly moist, they managed to get over
without SO much as wetting their feet. 1t was
| done in this fashion. The file-leader threw
himself on his belly, the next passed over him
and, also, threw himself into horizontal posi-
ton, followed by third, fourth, fifth, until,
| finally, the whole had passed over this living
pontoon. [ have seen ants cross rivers in the
| same manner in Nicaragua-it's a fact, gentle
| men.
Having passed the swamp. we, assembled the
hill on the other side, myself In the rear, for my
what fatigued, having struggled with me thro'
the slough at least six feet beneath the surface
of the earth. Ifyou will believe me, gentle
men, we were so completely cased in mud, that
we looked like centaurs carved from block OF
| black pipe-clay. When we emerged from, our
subterranean road, the sun baked the mud, and
we had complete suit Of armour, imperyious
| to the bullets Of the enemy Well, as | was
saying, we charged up the hill amid a shower
of grape from the enemy,s battery. .'On, my
brave boys!' shouted |, ''never mind their
| shot. they can't hurt you /" The seven-fo -footers
yelled out "huzza p and pitched in with a will
| One volley made every Yankee gunner bite the
| dust, except one, and he worked the six guns
himself ''Bully for the bullet-proof Fed ~
said [, levelling my pistol and reellng him over,
but not until he had discharged the last piece
loaded with shell. The shell struck Sahib,
that was the name of my Arabian, and was buri-
ed in his bowels where it exploded, tearing the
poor creature into a thousand pieces l, OF
course, did the rest of my fighting on foot.
"But. did you take the battery?" asked Cap
| tain Smilax winking to the company.
| rWhy, no, replied the Major, ''they sue
| ceeded in limbering up and retreating with the
guns" e @
II thought all the men, but one, were killed
by the first volley of your forlorn hope.
| eyes, that is, the gunners were placed hors
de combat" replied Stretcher, hesitatingly,
| but reinforcements came up. l was the first
one to reach the brow of the hill | gave three
cheers for JEFF. Davis, and complimented my
men, You see we had succeeded in our object,
which was to silence the battery which we did,
[ would have pursued and captured the fysng
artillery, but my horse was too much fatlgued
| and my men too.
/ Eo6''Why, Major said Srnilax, II thought you
said that your horse was blown to atoms. y
"Oh-ah,' responded the Major, evidently
confused, II forgot to add that he was only
slightly stunned. He got over it, and lived to
die of the bots. y
The Major here replenished his pipe and,
throwing himself back upon the straw, mutely
watched the curling of the smoke as lie emitted
puff after puff He seemed to be conscious OF
having entangled himself in the meshes OF a net
of his own weaving, and thought by assuming
perfect non-chalance, to convince the company
that he had uttered nothing but the truth
Smilax, with the air of a successful raider, or
one who is sure of victory against any odds,
drew himself up to full height and, with Whit
of cigar smoke, (he detested pipe and could
afford to smoke choice cigars, as he was detailed
| on Quartermasters duty,) turned On his heel,
| giving the PROSTATE Major the full view of his
| back, as he did SO, he muttered between his
| teeth-''Wh here will that fellow be stationed on
the day of judgment?'
! SnaiIax was a good companion, though haugh-
| ty in his demeanor, end fond of showing up
those who came within the range Of his bat
teries Stretcher was one of his victims, and
he seized every opportunity of bothering him
during his narration of his wonderful adven-
lures Another Of his victims was Lieutenant
Mildew, pale, sentimental young man, full of
poetry and romance, whose safron-tinted nous
tache sprouted from his upper lip like down
on the wing Of a cygnet.
| MildeW was forever carving the letters v L.
upon the bark of the trees around the camp
Sometimes the letters would appear within the
enclosure of a heart having an arrow thrust
| through it like skewer in beef s kidney
The fact is, Mildew was in love, either with
himself Or some fair girl who was probably pray
| ing night and day for his safety He would
stroll into the forest disturb its solitude by stir
ring the dry leaves, and signing heavily in re-
/ ply to the twittering Of the little birds
/ ''Why, Mildew, what's the matter with you,
boy?' asked Smilax Of the pensive youth, as
he sat twisting straws into love-knots, and fash
ionlng little babies out of wheat ears.
Hay All, yes, that is al was thinking
Of the probability Of the Majors account of the
assault upon the battery at Seven Pines,'' was
the confused reply.
''The probability!" thundered the Major,
elevating his head from its reclining position on
his right elbow, while hisleft hand still retained
the Meerschaum, raised at an angle of forty
five degrees. ''The probability. sir? To doubt
him is to doubt the authenticity of the Gospel !;
to doubt him, sir, is declaration of war. By
the son Of my mother never gassed in all my
life. Hie
| UT J.J,I 1.1 NJ. :, ~ .r.,