Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1866-11-23

ait aud Stisdotrl.

CoNUNDRUMs.-- was Eve Great
ed? For Adams Erpress company.
When is blow from alady welcomsr
When she strikes you agreeably.
For what reason does fisherman
blow his horns For selfish reasons.
Why Ia an auther q queer animalp
Because his tail comes out Of his head.
IF the crew ofa vessel want young
chickens, let them put their eggs In the
hatch-way. ~. '-'..a r.
An editor compliments his brother
thus: Mr.. Brown is a clear thinker,
ready and vigorous writer, and a frss
rate fellow to boot"
Noltaira said of Mademoisellc de
Livry; She was so beautiful that I
raised my long, thin body, and stood
before her like point of admiration"
A certain cabinet minister was asked
why he did not promote merit. "Be-
cause" answered he, merit did not
promote me-
Mike" said bricklaycr to his hod-
man, " if you meet Pa, tell him to
make haste, rs we are waiting for him"
" Sure and | will,' replied Mike, "but
what shall tell him If don't mate
him?"
A certain newly elected Irish Mayor,
speaking of certain articles in a viva.
cious newspaper, Observed % despiss
those underhand attacks. When Iwrito
an anonymous letter, always sign my
name to it, s"
We find this in an exchange: "I
once met man who had nerve-and
bone all-healng salve he was an enter
prising kind of a fellow, 80 he thought
he would experiment with it. He first
cut off a dogs tail and applied some to
the stump-a new tail grew out inn
mediately. He then applied some to
the piece of tail which he cut OIL, and
n new dog grew out. He did not know
which dog was which"
"If you marry a woman," said Ro-
man Consul to his son, "let IL DO n
woman who has sense enough to super
intend the setting Of II meal Of victuals,
taste enough to dress herself, pride
enough to wash before breakfast, and
sense enough to hold her tongue when
she ha. nothing to say"
A physician passing stone mason's
shop called out: GOOD morning Mr.
D.; hard at work | see. You finish
y
of and then wait, suppose to sec who
wants u monument next" "Why,
yes" replied the old man, "unleast
somebody's sick, and your doctoring
him, then keep on."
A Missouri farmer being asked IL
raising hemp was u good business, AL
swcred, al can't say sartain, but il is
surely better than being raised b.'t."
Two friends meeting, one remarked,
l have just met man who told me
looked exactly like you" "Tell mo
who 1t was, that ! may knock him
down." replied his friend. /" Don't
trouble YOURSELF" said hei II did that
myself ut once"
An Irishman, porter in store In
Philadelphia, was closing up one rainy
evening, not long since, when he took
Off his coat while putting up the shut
ters. When asked why he went out In
his shirt sleeves i'm all that rain,
sure" says he, don't l want o dry
coat to SO home in 2" "..
Lamb, when he was rcbuked for COM
ing into business, ut the India House,
so very late in the morning, replied.
:" You know always 70 away very
early in the afternoon" And to the
anxious passengers query, on entering
a crowded omni bus, "All full inside?"
he replied: " don't know how It's
with the rest OF the passengers, but
that last oyster-pie did the business for
me-" s. 8t '..@
The following is an interrogatory put
by II copperhead to General Logan dur
ing one Of his speeches in Indiana, and
the answer: .ast.. ..urt '.
was Il Democrat, the Republicans call
ed you "DirtyWork Logan;' are you
doing the dirty work for the Republi.
can party now?" .-
Gen. Logan. .--"Yes, sir; I'm skin
ming Copperhcads, and it is the dirtiest
work ever did, but 1t has got to he
done" SIP " a