Baton Rouge tri-weekly gazette & comet. [volume] (Baton Rouge, La.) 1865-18??, 1866-03-20
The Gazette &Gpttet.
-a4 From the Brooklyn tN.; " Esgls-lf4 nj ar
CORY O,LANUs,EPISTLE.

Ii anybody Will pay m y expenses snail
be happy to serve the public in that ca
pacity. r. -s- s,AtFs,5, Al.
! think It would be as we'll for the suffer
ing white population Of the North to be "
sg @ aEaE .nsG 70 a9
1t would not be necessary to interfere
with the benign plans Of that cast-iron
philanthropist, frhad. Stevens. l should
merely propose to him to limit legislation
for the superior race TO five days week,
and devote one day out of the week TO the
" hite man. ..r....-...,
Under the supervision Of Mrs. O'Lanus, n
who is better posted on some of the minor
domestic matters than / am, such 40 the
retail price of small groceries, have pre-
pared few amendments to the Con-
stitution for the benefit Of this afflicted
community: eg
AMENDMENTS TO THE CONSTITUTION. ar
.Ga1. To provide that no landlord shall
raise the rent of any house to be let for the
ensuing year. .uu a aG1ao q. ntas .
2. TO regulate the price of butter. llaG a
8. To limit the price of sirloin steak to
twenty cents pound.
4. To prohibit the City Railroad Conn
panies from carrying more than sixty paa- 1s
sengers in car; also prohibiting the
Companies from employing as conductors
agents for the circulation of counterfeit
currency. # hiss. ri.t a.H aa 9ae E15I
s. Authorizing ladies, to occupy seats in II
the railroad cars and ferry boats-when-
ever they can get them.
6. To suspend the collection of taxes. sJi1
7, Providing everybody with q house
and lot, or farm on Long Island. q ~ ''is''
S, To regulate the price of coal. a2 vnE
9. To raise everybody's wages. 4 lean
10. Abolishing gas bills.
4 A l,.1, a; 1a,1w Il
Il. To provide husbands for all mar
rageable young ladies over thirty FIVE. il..
] have two or three dozen more amend
ments, but these will do to start with.
W hat is the use of havinga Constitution
fit won't regulate things to suit every
body? zr4 n r
rhad. Stevens thinks so. I,..
| So do /. a t@# +
That settles the matter. rs ai 5#sig#aa
| Next to the claims of the superior race,
\ the llleviation of the condition of married
men with small incomes and large families
ought to attract the attention of Congress.
/ They have been at the mercy of land
| lords, coal dealers and corner grocers long
enough. es
There are several other measures which
propose to lay before Congress. 89dn slg
One to establish Bureau to take care of
everybody who don't feel like working for
living, with authority to draw on the
Government for rations Of roast turkey,
charlotte russe, overcoats, whisky and
chewing tobacco. .t- ,..t,,.a--5 va artv
To pay off the National Debt by q tax on
public speaking. *5 t..
am not in favor of universal Suffrage
] don't think children in arms should
be allowed to vote.
Or emigrants before they come to this
country. sg -... E-as Us s el afsa
4 But the franchise ought to be extended
to women.
Men have had exclusive control Of the
voting and pretty condition of affairs
they have brought the country to. ~
Lovely woman may stoop to folly, but
she can't do worse than the men who
elected the present Congress.
think / will run for Congress next
Fall ON this platform. y.. ..g=gI
At present / am not sure which district
/ will run in, as Mrs. O'Lanus has not yet
made up her mind whether we shall en-
gage our present landlord for another
year. ..,...,- ., ..r. s-y,.. .saI
This reminds me that the 44.
HOUSE RENTING SEASON 81
has broken out again. A IA-.r
The campaign has not yet fairly opened.
The landlords have not yet agreed upon
platform. n
They have not quite decided whether TO
double the present rents all round, or TO
go fifty per cent. better. .-9..
Neither have they fixed the number Of
Ichidren to be allowed to each family, and
their respective ages. 't@ ="
The landlords are N asters of the situa-
Ition. "
Which ia owing to the fact that they
own most Of the houses. .2
Every man his own landlord is q capital
doctrine.
/ should have adopted it myself long
.ago, but for want of capital. 'a# [
This is the difficulty with M ost tenants.
All the real estate own is located in q
dozen flower pots, which Mrs. o. 'Lanus de-
votes TO the cultivation of geraniums,
verbenas, cactuses and other ornamental
vegetables. t -.e aH ,4a
There is not enough for building lot,
and it can only be regarded as movable
estate. -f
The earth is mans inheritance, but /
haven't come in for my share Of it yet.
! Some capitalist has got the title deeds to
my estate and won't give them up till
can raise money enough to redeem them.
My father neglected to leave me q for
tune, d habit which runs in our family.
From present appearances think shall
hand it down to my posterity.
AS Shakespeare observes, some men are
born poor, some acquire poverty, others
have poverty thrust upon them. i'
The O'Lanuses were always distinguished
for. their ability to spend all they could
get; all my rich uncles died before they
made their fortunes.
Getting rich only involves two condi-
tons.
First, get money.
Second hold on to 1t. .H.'
l understand the principle first rate.
As soon as | can accomplish the first
condition, / am going to try my hand at
the second. ... 81
When l got married, Mrs. O'Lanus and
myself passed joint resolution that We
would get rich. Getting the furniture
took all our capital in hand, but was to
give. Mrs. O'Lanus all the money l got,
she was to buy only what we wanted, and
put the rest in the Savings Bank. T.
The first year we wanted more than We
.