Clarksville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1865-1867, 1866-06-08
sUT LOrINGO0D's TALK WITH THE
PRESIDENT.


rf PRESIDENT.
wAsHiseroS, April 3s, 1856.
To de Editors Of the Day Book: ss
venture TO send you one Of "Sut Lovin-
goods Stories" which seems to be suitable
to the present times. II you think it wor-
thy OF insertion in The Da, Book, hope you
will give "hit' place. 'tcll the story as
twas told to me- that is all the merit claim
ed by Yours worry truly,
GsoRGE JONES.
Sum times, George, sorter wishes could
read, write, and fgger on s.ates jis littil;
perhaps hit am best es hit u.s. fur mout a
went to a reading Cobb's tails, an uther
folks letters, an that sswud onfit me for mix
in wifi decent society; an ef cud write, I'd
a been forgin ov orders fur sperits, ur ben
'pinted quartermaster, an be in brimstun
now fur hit sure. An es tu maxim figgers
on slattes, Is jis durnd fool enuf tn onder-
take TO figger out how hit am frum n yam
tatur hill tn the s'mills ,ove the gods" an
how long 1t wud take them to grind turn
owe pine knots. Hits bes' cs hit am, fur as
sure es ever L Reached the ruld owe three
I'd played thunder wifi things. Well, like
severil or more durn d fools, l. too, mug call
onto the President, tn ''gt his views on the
sitivation." / got em--swappd him sum
owe mine fur EN- even, an got me suitnble
fat offs to boot an now wants tn tell hit
all all to yu. Ef cud write myself I'd
send hit tn printer, an ak him tu norate
bit tn the world, usin his stronges' and
mos substanshul types an the press what
bars down the hardes fur the idears viii cum
pow full strainin onto his apparatus--mos es
bad es ruin eiteen poun' shot thru "a wheat
fan. Well, in bulged, wifout nockin, an
foun mysef in frunt owe Andrew J. johnson
1.-The J. stans fur Jacksin, put in by natur,
by golly.) Sez I, "Mornin,' Govern'r",-
THAT what we alters calId that cast steel
men in Tennessee, an hit Gums natrul yet.)
eGood mornin', Mister Lovingood. What
kin do fur yu7" Sea |, "nuthip, by golly,
but tu listn tn me in behalf owe this minner
nibbled, bug bitten, besmutted country. Fur
myself axes no OFFS no cold vittils, nur
old close. Jist hear me talk spell, an then
talk tn me sum-" He wer lookin me strait
intu the middle Nv my eye; an tell 70 Mis-
ter George, ef ever yu Proposes tn yerself tn
tell that cas- steel man q lie in pussun, you
jis put on par owe dark green specks, so be
can't git at yer eyes, an furgit everything yu
knows but the lie; eff yu- DON'T the truth'll
run outen yu like sweat, an yu'li furgit the
lie, an you'll feel dam Uneasy under his gaze
even then. Sez he, "Go on, sur" Sea !,
"Sir, hes cum, Governr this mornin', yer
Exlentcy, tu say to yu, Mister President
that thar am two things intu yu what
likes; an hes cum, further to know ef yu
means tu change yer style of duin these yere
two things, onder the pressure owe the dam
foolry what's roostin intu that hous' tother
aind of the lane, ur dus yu jist mean tn run
thru EN- in yer old way2 Fust I likes yei
style owe flag fyin' Now, fit, an fout in
at the big aind, an out at the little aind owe
the war; the ainds wer four year apart, an
yet hit he'd more taper than tin trumpet.
Not adzackly did fits agin the flag so much
as agin the way sum dund fools he'd owe
fyin hit. Es a flag, ] alters thot hit bout
es purity piece owe striped truck as yu cud
hang tu a pole fur fyin purposes, purvided
thar am stripes enuff, say bout thirty-six
now, an more hereafter. Now, ef yu wants
sumthin' in the line owe store truck tu wrap
roun' gall, when she's gwine dancin, gil
fggers big hgger, say nakid fat babys, vii
bows an arrers In thef hans. Ef you want
hit to waap roun' durnd fool Gineral, wher
he am in a struttn an goblin heat, at 9
pcrliterkill meetin', buy sumthin fmsy, wi
picturs owe peacocks, balloons, babboons, oi
balderdash ontu it, an sum smoke. Ef "
wants ::sumthin tn hide q nigger onder, tr
save him frum the wrath tu cum arter hei
been 'zaminin hen-roost or guttin a..smokt
ous, jist kiver him wifi ole nine dimun
quilt hoss blankit or Amer Dickinson'l
red flannel petticoat without takin her outcu
hit-eny thing fur such purposes but the flag
our flag, by gollyl Now, sur, you dus thu
thing differently. Yu puts hit to the toI
owe long pole, on the highest groun' yol
kin find, an is ayin of hit straight towaFd
sunrise, in constant currint owe heaven
pure air, way above the stink owe fernaticks
niggers an fools whar bit wur fnst blowr
DOT little one way, an little luther way
an then trailin in the mud littil, jis as eacf
devil owe EN- happened tn blow. Keep hi
high, Govern'r, 50 high that hit kin be seet
ftum the back aind Of Texas to the beecl
nutmeg destrict--so high, hits shadder will
fall on nobody, hits brilliant stripes an bur
nlshed stars flashin light ontu everybod!
that wants tn see tu read the Constitution
and travil the way hit directs EN-.
"The second pint owe yourn likes Is ye
style owe drivin teams, made up owe eithe
hosses, mules, oxen, ur jackasses. The fns
yu TUX wer tn larn tn glide yerself; yu wer I
child then; yu hitched yersclf to little sled
made outen two clapboards an sum ole chez
rungs; yu hauled chips an bark up Mill fu
yer mother tu cook wifi an she alters had |
good fire. Next, yu druv a yung steer roun'
Greeuville, you calld m alderman hitche'
in par owe hoop pole Skaters tu par ov
block wheels; that critter was the bes brok
OK ever raised in Green county, Then y,
druv two hoss trips tu Nashville, an fou
hoss trips tu this scatter gun town, fur
long time, alters startin when yu sed "
wood stoppin when you sed yu wood wen
the exact road you sed yu wood, Delivers
4 all the load yu sed yu wood, an run over sv
erybody what got in yer way, il you sed y
wood. Then Tennessee gin you team be
longin tn the State; yu druv hit four year
and gin hit well up broke, fat shod, a
roun, an all haulin you sed you wood. Now
sur, yu is iriyen tho great big six hos
machine mail coach. Yer lead boss pull
strong an steady, knows your mode owe dr.
vim, an knows whar yu ar drivin tn. Ye
off leader shows sum white roun bis eye, bu
30 fur pulls well; he Is a known hoss, he I
he's awar that you's gwine thru from ain
tn aind, an that the oats is at the las aint
an that you totes the crib key in yer poke
But, sur, yu hes two urthree critters hitche
tn that coach what am shown sgns of plsyi
nigger. kin see thar traces slacken no'
an then gwine up bill, an they walls this
eyes at every COW trail an hog trail the
passes, an they looks back at you atwixt ths
winkers an thsr heads when the whip crack
instead OF zaming the main strait read ahea'
Now, Govern, yu hes a long trip, a heav
} load, short skedjule, a road what haint b
! worked since the war begun, on dark roa
) al eal owe yu YIN need the bes' team &