Weekly Calaveras chronicle., 1866-04-28
The course of Love" in Missouri.

1ue -NOuISo Oh Love IN 0lS9Our1.
Out on the old Lehomme road, not a
hundred miles from this city, lives Mrs.
Overplus Hempbale, very worthy and
very wealthy lady, made widow by the
careless shooting of some Federal SOL
dier, who dropped the worthy Overplus
Hempbale while he was manfully striv-
ing for his rights in company with old
Pap Price.
Mrs. Hempbale has daughter Laura
a fair young girl of some nineteen sum-
mers, and possessed of warm, suscep-
tible, but true heart, and who, much to
her aristocratic mothers disgust, lately
conceived violent passion for young
house carpenter in this city, familiarly
known as Jack Plaine. Now Jack is a
gay, dashiug young fellow, working like
a steam engine when he does work, and
spreeing equally hearty when he is con
it," very likely to catch the fancy of a
warm hearted, blooming young girl like
Laura, but not calculated to suit an old
lady's idea for husband. So Jack, af-
ter the first visit, was peremptorily for
bid the house.
The aspect of "our domestic rela-
ton" did not meet with approval from
either of the two young folks, and re-
bellion, to be prosecuted covertly, was
agreed upon instanter. Sundry clandes-
tine meetings had been "arranged" at
a friends" house in the city, which
seemed to "work" pretty we'll, but at
last the old lady got wind of the matter
and utterly forbid Miss Laura from leav-
ing the houee.
A month or two slipped by, and the
fond mother supposing the foolish at
tachment had worn off, relaxed her Wig
lance, or seemed to, yet all the while
keeping pretty sharp eye on Laura.
After while she detected certain move
ments and proceedings that led her to
suspect that Laura was in communica-
tion with Jack, and she resolved to re
sort to ruse of some kind to ascertain
what shape things were taking; but be-
fore she had quite determined what
manner of proceedings to adopt, she was
informed by neighbor that Jack and
Laura had arranged a plan of elopement.
Her mind was quickly made up. She
announced to Laura next morning that
she was going to Belleville on visit to
be gone three days, and that she must
be good girl and not tear the house
down while she was gone.
That night Jack knew Of it and as he
read the nice little note that had bade
him "come over ear y and stay until
mother comes back, and what a splen-
did time we will have" he knocked the
ashes from his cigar and resolved 'sof
course he would"
Jack went over, but there is no earl tn
ly use in our attempting to describe the
delectable things he enjoyed-it was
sugar season on that plantation, sure.
just before dark, while Jack was run
ming over full of the glory of the occa-
sion, in rushes Miss Larra's black wait
ing woman with
"Lor bress my brak soul, chin, eff
yere amt ole missus rite at de gate.
Sure"
"My God Dinah, what shall we do
with Jack p
"Pop 'em in dat ar closet, dar, Miss
Laura ?" and Jack was popped into the
closet in twinkling.
In stalked the old lady, and after
sharply scrutinizing the disconnected
and blushing countenance of Laura, felt
sure that Jack had been there.
"Come here, Laura. Now you can't
deceive me. That abominable Plaiue
has been here, and you and he have
fixed up runaway match, to come off
tonight O, you bad thing, you; after
your bringing up, to treat me so. But
you II find your mother is no fool. You'll
find she's too sharp for you, my lady.
Sooner than you should marry that mis-
erable Jack Plaine I'd see you laid in
your grave. He's not going to squander
my money, can assure you"
The old lady arose, and going to a
clothes press, returned with several COM
forters and pillow, and walking up to
the closet where Jack was concealed,
threw them in with f1irt, and turning
to the trembling Laura, said
CHOW march in here, miss step
along! III see that you don't get no.
where near that low flung mechanic this
night"
Laura whimpered, protested that she
didn't want to, declaring that her moth
er would be sorry for this some time.
But without paying any attention to
her protestations, her mother gave her
a push, shut the door, locked it and tri-
put the key in her pocket,
and in due time went to bed. Pretty
carly in the morning the old lady arose,
and without waiting to dress, fshed the
key out of her pocket, and opening the
closet door to bid Laura come forth,
gazed wildly for one instant, and then
uttered piercing scream. Recovering
herself speedily, she staggered away
from the door, and called family; 'Gau.
ra, Laura, dear! 60 into the kitchen and
see about the breakfast p Then pres
emily, "Jack, say, Jack!"
Jack came forth with very "son.in-
law lookish" air and answered, "Well,
madam. what is it?'
'Jack, do you know anything about
a farm p
"Not to speak Of, marm."
"You can read, and write, and cipher
l suppose? p
"Nothing to brag Of, marm.'
LIN I..lx I 4hinE IL ~