The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-05-11
SPARE LINES.

The first thing man takes TO in his life ~
milk the last is his bier.
Why is beard like common sense Be-
cause no woman possesses IL Brute
The tobacco chewer said to be like goose
in dutch oven-always on a spit.
John Quincy Adams has been arrested in
Petaluma for stealing chickens. Thus Is a
great name befowled.
Why was tho giant Goliah rery much as.
tonished when David hit him with stone?
Such thing never entered his head before.
lfyou were obliged to swallow man who
would you prefer TO swallow? A little Lon
don porter.
why Is restless sleeper like a lawyer? Be-
cause he lies on one side, and turns and lics
OH the other.
An advertiser in ono ofthe papers says ho
has a cottage to let containing eight roms
aud an acre ofland.
What IL the difference between Catholic
prizes, and Baptist One uses wax candles
and the other dips.
The New York Daily News calls on Presi-
dent Johnson to put in close confinement
"Congress, aud all that oppose his policy
Mrs. Par,ngton thinks the bills before Con-
grcss must he counterfeit, or there woul moi
he SO much trouble to pass them.
An irrascibc gentleman lately fought duel
with his intimate friend because he jocoS"ly
asserted that he was born without shirt to
his back.
Thought ol,sc,ired il fhr better than much
FURNISHED and ostentations brass, and n little
plain sincerity IL more valuable than than The
mos, complete and elaborate counterfeit.
When you hear any one making great
noise about himself his merits and his good
qualities, remember the poorest wheel "f
wagon always creaks Ioudest.
An old gentleman from the country stop.
ned at first class hotel in New York, anil
wrote home that his room was six stories hiyl,
and his bill was three stories higher THAI his
room.
A rural editor speaking ola large contCn.-
porary, remarked that il all flesh was g,nss,l,n
must be load of hay. ~ expect ] am" said
the ia, man, "fiom the way the asses mc nib.
bling at me-"
As flowers never put on their best clothes
on Sundays, but wear their spotlcss rrilncnt
and cxlialc their odors every day, 20 l't Your
life, free from stain, ever give forth The ira'
grance Of goodness.
A recently analysis Of the milk furnished
bv the New York milkmcn shows that u con-
sists of three quarts of water To one OF milk,
to which is added starch TO give il thickness.
grease TO make it oeaginous, and roasted s''g-
ar to give it n creamy color.
God, in his providence, works by chosen
instruments. He gives TO us that we nny
give to others. He gives us wisdom that we
may instruct the ignorant, nhd he gives us
wealth that we may assist the poor.
An old Yorkshire clergyman, who had
strong luuged curatc, inquired ola woman
why her husband was 80 seldom at church.
q, she replied, "that young man youNr s"t
roars sac loud that John Gamma sleep sac sound
ns he did when preaching yoursalf sae pence
able"
A benevolent lady went to visit family
who were said TO be almost starving. She
found them half clal, cold aud not mor>cl
of food in the house. What do YOU most
need she asked of the mother. The woman
thoCht moment, her face Frightened and she
answered, "Why, always did want a head
dress, they arc 30 becoming"