Maryland free press., 1866-05-31

1t is reported upon good authority, says the
Washington correspondent of the New York
Times, that the Judiciary committee have come to
the conclusion that the evidence produced before
them does not warrant the charge that Jefferson
Davis is guilty of completely in the assassination
of Mr.. Lincoln.
Mr.. Quibbe, reading that 'sit has been deci-
ded in the Court of Queens Bench in Dublin,
that a Clergyman of the Church of England can
legally marry himself" observed that that might
he very well as measure of economy, but tha
even in the very hardest times he should prefer to
mary a woman.
A raGi al in Maine, who had served his time
of thirty days in the Agusta Jail, was asked when
he came out how be liked it, az had bully
time" said he. ''There were seventy-six in the
JAIL and not "A id Democrat among the lot.'
-Parson Brcwn'ow professcs to be wed to
principle. Principle wouldn't marry him
Principle would scorn the old graybeards ad-
dresses. Principle would cock her nose at him
and hold it.
John VI. Way has brought suit against John
NJ. Damo and four others, in Boston, for mob
bng him on the 18th ofApril, 1865. He lays his
damages, at $50, 900. He was beset by the mob
on some pretense of dsloyalty.
The boys idea Of having tooth drawn may
be summed up as follows: the doctcr hitched fast
on to me, pulling his best, and just before it kill
cd me, the tooth came out'
They say that Thad. Stevens is getting very
old. We hope that he won't 60 "to seed. -
There's enough of the breed already.
Little deeds make great men," We begin
to believe it; at all events, the deeds of our so
called great men, on examination turn out to be
very little.
The Boston Post says the Freedmen Bureau
is the biggest cutworm that ever afflicted plan.
tation, and letter from the South says that a
sub-agency of the Freedmen's Bureau is worth
more than the Presidents salary.
The editor of an eastern paper remarks: We
have adopted the eight hour system in this office
We commence work at O. clock in the morning
and end work at in the evening.
C. Hosaphat has plan for paying off the
National debt. His plan is to convert the entiI e
Indebtedness into greenbacks, and keep them in
circulation till they naturally wear out.
1t is stated that a sharp dodge has been prac-
ticed by some teachers of freedmen, on surrcn-
dering their charges, in selling photographs Of
themselves to their ebony pupils at one dollar
each.
Billings says: 'Icould never find the mean
ing Of the word "collde' in Webster. But RI
ding one day on the New Yoek railway saw it
all. 1t was the attempt of two trains sto pass
each other on a single track. If remember cor
rectly, it was shocking failure"
!-Neither false curls, false teeth false calves,
nor even false eyes, are as bad as false tongu S.
General Joseph +. johnson was, on the lltl.
instant, elected Prcsdeut of the Alabama and
Tennessee River Railroad.
The Detroit Post, of the 9Th instant. says
that while great many newspapers are trying to
kill General Cass with softening of the brain,
he stubbornly improves n health
An English married lady has consulted law
yer on t!equestion, whether having married he
husband for his money, and that money being all
spent she is not n widow and at liberty to marry
again.
President johnson could, without the least
veto from being over-ridden.. But the stern old
giant isn't in that line of business. He does nj
trade and dicker.
Mrs. Jenkins complained in the evening that
the turkey she had eaten at Thanksgiving did not
set well.
'Probably," said Jenkins ''it was not a hen
turkey"
He got glass of water in his face.
THE lady who did not think it respectable to
bring up her children to workh, as lately heard
from her two sons. One of them is bar keeper
on flat boat and the other is steward in q
brick yard.
-"Didn't you tell me you could hold the
: plow?" said the farmer to an Irshman he had
taken on trial. 'Bc aisy now," SAYS Pat
'How could hold il an two horses pullin' il
away? Just stop the craturs and I'll hould it for
ye."
r "A New York man, who had not been out OF
the city for many years, tainted away in the pure
air of the country. He was only resuscita,ed by
putting dead fish to his nose when he SLOWLY
9 revived, excloiming: ''Thats good-it smells
like heme." -.--- '.......-
"A WESTERN gent, at frst-class hotel in New
York, having taken possession of his room locked
itup TO go out into the city, and leaving the key
at the bar, told the clerk with great simplicity
''not 10 wait diuner for him.
} If you wish to know how quick man can 90
, mile, tell red haired woman that her baby
squints.
What length ought lady's crnoline to bef
A little above TWO FEET.
Never fear man who threatens you with an
injury; the silent enemy is the most dangerous
TFYOU WOULD PURCHASE