Ashtabula weekly telegraph. [volume] (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1853-1873, 1866-09-15
CHOICE MISCELLANY.
EASBY.
Mr.. Nasty at Last Gets his Post Office.

Posi- Offs, CoNFEDRIT X RoADs, ii
Stait NV Kentucky, Aug. IL, 1866.
At last 1 hev it + Finally it come ,
After five weary trips to Washington,
after much weary waitin and much ira
vail l hey got it, ], am now Post Master
at Confedrit X Roads and am dooly in
stalled in my new. position. - Eff | ever
he'd any doubts ez to A. johnson bein a
better man than Paul the Apostle, a
look at my commission removes it, Eff |
ketch myself feelin that he deserted us
unnecessarily five years ago, another look
and my resentment sottens into pity. III
l doubt his Democrisy l look at that
blessed commission and ana reassured, for
President who Good turn out a wound
ed Federal soldier and apoint sich a man
ez ME, must be above suspicion.
l felt it wuz contetwo weeks ago.
received cirkler from Randall, now nv
sooperior in offs, propoundin these ques.
tions - ,,ti..
l. Do 700 hev the most implicit faith
in Androo Johnson, in all that he hez
done, all that he is doin, and all he may
hereafter do2 .-,.a =. 1920: .a g.. :.
2. Do you bleeve. that the Phipadel.
phia Convention will be convocation nv
saints all actuated by pure motives, and
devoted to the salvation NV our wunst
happy but now distracted country
3. DO you bleeve that next to A. John.
son, Seward, Doolittle, Cowan, and Ran
dali are the four greatest, and purest, and
bestest, and selfsacrifcinest, and honest
est, and righteousist men this country he7
ever prodoost? ..,g ...,, ,, ,.,......, ...,,,....
4. Do you bleeve that there is par
tikelerly hot place reserved i'll the next
world for Trumbull, hotter for Wade
and the hottest for Sumner and Thad
Stevens -" '"''' ''''''" l'' '.5o'' i'''
8. Do you approve NV the canin nv
Grinnel by Rosso?
g. Do yOo consider the keepin out Nv
congris eleven sovrinJ States, q unconsti-
tushenel and unwarrantid assumption NV
power by secshenal congris?
Z. Do 700 bleeve the present congris a
'rufnp, and that (eleven states bein unre-
presented aalttheir acts unconstooshenel
and illegal ceptin them wich provides for
payin salaries?., ,-l yt,,,
8. Do yoo bleeve that the Memphis
and Moo Orleans unpleasantnessess wuz
brot about by the unholy ,plachinashens
NV them Radical agitators, actin in con-
junction with ignorant and besotted mig
gers to wreak their spite on the now 10y
al sitizens Nv these properly reconstruct
ed cities?
8. Are yoo not satisfied that the Afri
can citizens, NV ,Amerikip descent kin be
safely trusted to the operations NV the
universal law wich governs labor and
capital ,
10. Are 700 'wiilin to contribute a rea.
sonable per cent NV yoor salary to fund
to be used, for, the defeat ny Objectionable
congrish1en in the disloyal States north
To all Nv these inquiries l not only
answered yes, but went aforea a, Justice NV
the Peace and took a affidavit to EN-, for
warded it back and my commission wuz
forthwith sent to me.
There wuz a joobilee the mite it arriv
The news spread rapidly through the
four groceries NV the town, and sich anu
ther spontaneous oqtburst Hv joy never
witnessed.
The bells rung, and for an hour or two
the Corners wuz in the widest stait Nv
SSSoSlISlhSllI. Liz ClJlZcIlS cOU1TdlOO
lated each other on the certainty NV the
acceshun nv the President. to the Dino
crisy, and in their enthoosiasm five mig,
ger, families were cleaned out, two Nv EN-
one male and the tother a. female, wu1
killed. Then perceshun wuz organised
as follers:
Two grocery keepers with bottles.
Deekin Pogram.
Me with my commishun pinned onto q
banner and under IL written: ain this
sign we conker"
Wagon with taboo onto it. A niggel
on the bottom boards, Bascom, the gro
Gerry keeper, with one foot onto him, hold
ing banner inscribed: 'sThe Niggel
where he oughter be-"
Citizen with bottle r-FE
Deekin Pogram's daughter Mirandy il
attitoOd NV wallopin a wench. Ban
ner-"We'ye Regained our Rites"
Two citizens with bottles tryin to keeI
in perceshun.
Two more citizens wish edemptyed
their bottles, fallin out by the way side
Citizens two and two with bottles.
Wagon loaded with the books and
furnitur NV niger skool, in a stait u,
wreck, with ded nigger laym on top uN
it, witch he'd bin captoored within tho
hour. Banner--s Nv Policy"