Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1866-11-28
From the Columbus Journal.
Stuffy Showers Mule aide,
AND
How he Supposed a Case.
BY wAD BEACH.

On the west branch of the Tuscara-
was river, about forty miles above its
junction with the Whitewoman, there
IS q small village known IN all that re-
gion of ~Buckeydom by the unique
name of Pinchgut. Time was when
here were but few places in the west
that contained as many rare specimens
of the gOnaS homo, and certainly none
that possessed as many harum scarum,
daredevil youngsters, as this same
PInchgat. But death has sent many
of the former to that undiscovered
country" and of the latter, few now
remain.
In the years l write of, there was a
Dutch widow, who kept a little cake
and peel shop on the outskirts of the
village, and thither the choice spirits
were wont 10 resort when boisterous
sports had become stale, t transact
minor deVeltries, and listen TO the
widows quaint-told tales.
She was fat and fair.
AS widows are"
and Madeline Maus was she hight
familiarity called by the youngelings,
old Mother Mouse, Blessed with con-
tentment, and possessing a fair share
of worldly gear, she remained widow
for many years efter the demise of her
first husband, and in all probability
would have continued to travel the
journey of life alone until she went the
way of all flesh, had it not been for an
one-eyed tailor, who pressed his Suit
forcibly, and painted in glowing colors
the joys of connubial bliss or, it might
have been. that the kindness shown
her by a first spouse, induced her TO
accept a second. At any rate, the tai
lor did not sue in vain, Cor Madeline
Maus became Frau Huffman. But
happiness is ~evanescent before the
honeymoon waned, the tailor laid down
his goose, gave up the ghost, and was
numberd with his fathers. Soon after
the angel of death captured Huffman,
and made Madeline a widow a second
time. a party of frolicsome youngsters,
who spent their
days in riot most uncouth.
And vex'd with mirtd the drDwsy ear ofnight."
determined to pay her a cOnsolatory
visit. Accordingly few days after
her defunct lord had been planted, they
proceeded on their mission, certain of
receiving that rough though cordial
welcome they had been the recipients
of so often during her first widowhood.
Nor were they disappointed I; they
found her dispensing her stock of
''pretzels," "stinkcase," and ''lager
bier" to a dozen or more of her Dutch
customers.
When she discovered an accession to
her company, she evinced intense
pleasure, exclaiming, Colt in Himmel !
If here amt dem tam pOys aready,"
an expression simple of itself, but Of
sufficient import to make the previous
party decamp instanter. The widow,
without paying any attention to the
sudden departure of her countrymen,
continued; we'll, poys, Tse clad you
has come /; Hoffman ish dead agin. he
hat de shill und feber Docder Mac
coined on him, put it vas all no use, he
vent died" When she proceeded thus
far with the recital of her late affection,
her feelings overcome her. The boys
~endeavored to mitigate her grief ex-
pressed their sorrow at her 1osss and
told her that she must be reconciled.
and although the departed possessed
many good qualities-the most promI-
nent one having been fndustry-yet,
however good we may be, all must go
under. hFheir efforts were crowned
with success and the widow, smiling
like a summer cloud, replied:
Yes, | knows dat; fust my poppy
died, den Maus, den my chilern, and
now Huffman is gone died, und he vas
the bulliest good ole booger 10 work of
EN- all-put he ISL ali any more now,
[ spect Stuffy Stoover viii be miety mat
ven ne hears dat Huffman is died YOU
see he vas a close cousin do him. Poys
[ dink you dident knowed Stuffy,
cause he moved do Alleygranny goun-
ty, ~Beunsylwany, bout five miles ago
pehint Peetsburg, ven you want bigger
as a mice. Stuffy yust do pc a pooty
bard case de dime before he vas goin
away. You didn't ever hear bout de
schrapes he hat NIT ole Penner's mule
did you ?" -Graufed that the widow
was about TO relieve them of their
Office, and console herself after her
style afore.ime, they cordially invited
the old gal TO unbosom herself, which
she did in substance and manner as
follows.
. ,'-Bout dirteen years ago, old Penner
had de meanest kind of mules, und
ven he found out dat he not can any
ting do NIT him, he shust trowed him
out in de roat, und let's him do vat be
likes. Veil, one mite Stuhy vas in
down, trunk, uDd ven he vas goin home
be seed de mules lyiu on de ground,
sound asleep, so he bort he eau ride
habben, und der don't any poddy can
know bout it. Coin up TO de mulrs,
Stufy goaxed him a little, rolled a
piece ropes round his neck, made him
up do, de fence, und shumped on
Vile he vas gItten dings realty, Pen
Britchard vas come along uDd seed
MIN, so he COED down to Sam Fartig's
grocery and dole de poys dat Stuff
'Stoover vas up down trunk, und dey
must 90 und make NIT him some lun
you see der vas a heep Of pad poys
in B~incbgut den, vorser as der ish now.
Veil, ven de pOys vas coemed up down,
dey met Stufy riden along by Rinkerts,
und he vas singing
"roh de vite-schmit und de plaek- sehmit.
Und de gun-sebmit be can dell
How We all tanced rJunt dat hog-trOht,
Und dat most teyelish Yeu;
und de mules vas Walking sideways
sometimes, und sometimes he made
his pehint part go heat.
"Pooty soon be tries to lie himtown;
put Stufy kicked him, und made him
git up. Shust ven de mules vas gotted
up, sax or seben poys shumped rite
round de corner, und yelled at him. 7
By shinPs, put Stuffy und demules vas
scarf. De mules kicked up pefore,
and rared up pehint, und hollered
more as a good deal. De poys had
gotted a lots Of hoop.boles, und vile {
come made de boles in de mules belly, +
de oder ones trowed gravels at Stuffy
like anything. Ven de mules funded
dat he must 60, he started nd run like :
q spook. Stufy vas hangin' to de hairs
on de mules neck, und cant most holt
on cherry dime de mules shumped,
he made Stuffy bout dWo feets up; und
ven he vas comm town, he crunted a
heep, und most cant his Wind git again.
De poys vas runnin' all de dime, nnd
punchin' de mule NIT de hoop-boles,
und holerin' so lout as de beeples not
can sleep most.
AFTER vile. bimeby, directly, dey vas
comm rite on de pridge ober Calico