Fremont journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County [Ohio]) 1853-1866, 1866-11-23
AlistelIansons Selections,
The False Funeral.


though he took me when my father died,
and brought me up as bis own son. The
good man had no children. His wife was
long dead, and he had an honest old
woman. for house keeper, and a flourish
ing business, in the undertaking line, to
leave to somebody, but he did not leave it
to me, and I'll tell you the reason:
When l had been about five years with
him, and had grown worth my salt, as he
used to say, death occurred in our neigh
borhood, which caused greater lamenta-
ton than any we had heard of since my
apprenticeship began. The deceased gen.
tleman was a Mr.. Elsworthy. The family
had been counted gentry in their day. 1
should have said my uncle lived in York,
and all the world knows what Yorkshire
families are. Well, the Elsworthys were
of good family, and very proud of it,
though they had lost every acre Of good
old estate which had belonged to them
time out of mind. am not sure whether
it was their grandfather's dice and cock
fighting, or their fathers going surety for
friend who did something wrong in a
Government office, that brought them to
this poor pass; but there was no house in
all York where candles went further, and
tea-leaves were better used up. There
was a mother, two sisters and cousin
who lived with them. The mother was
stately lady, never seen out of black bro
cade. The sisters were not over young or
handsome, but they dressed as finely as
they could. The cousin was counted one of
the prettiest women in Yorkshire, but she
walked with crutch, having met with an
accident in her childhood. Master Charles
was the only son, and the youngest of the
family. He was a tall, handsome, dash
ing young man, uncommonly polite, and
a great favorite with the ladies. 1t is said
there were some red eyes in the town,
when the story got wind that be was go
ing to be married to the Honorable Miss
Westbay. Her father was younger broth
er to the Earl of Harrowgate, and had
seven girls beside her, without penny
for one of them; but Miss Westbay was a
beauty, and the wonder was that she had
not got married long ago-being nearly
seven years out dancing, singing, and
playing tip-top pieces at all the parties.
Half dozen matches had been talked OF
for her, but somehow they broke down
one after the other Her father was rather
impatient to see her off; and so were her
sisters, poor things, and no wonder, for,
grow up they might, not one of them
would the old man suffer to come out till
the eldest was disposed of, and at last
there seemed something like certainty
of that business. Young Mr.. Elsworthy
and she struck up courtship. He was
fasinated-isn't that the word lat an as
size ball, paid marked attentions at the
bishops party, and was believed to have
popped the question at picnic, after
Lord Harrowgate, the largest shareholder
in the Northeastern Bank, got him pro-
NOTED from clerkship to the manager.
It's true he was some years younger than
Miss Westbay, and people said there had
been something between him and his pret-
ty cousin; but a lords neice, with beauty,
accomplishments, and seryiceable con-
nection, does not come in every young
mans way; so the wedding day was fixed
for the first of January, and all the mil
liners were busy with the brides bonnets
and dresses.
1t was Just month to come, and every
body was talking of the match, when Mr..
Elsworthy fell sick, AT first they said il
was a cold; then it turned to brain fever
at last the doctor gave no hopes, and
within the same week Mr.. Elsworthy died.
The whole neighborhood was cast into
mourning. A promising young man, in
a manner the only dependence of his fam
lily, newly promoted to station of trust
and influence, and on the eve of marriage,
everybody lamented his untimely death,
and sympathized with his bereaved rela-
tions and his intended bride. think my
uncle lamented most of all. None of his
customers, to my knowledge, ever got SO
much of his sorrow. When he was sent
for in the way of business, it struck me
that he staid particularly long.
The good man could talk of nothing
but the grief of the afflicted family-how
the mother went into fits, and the sisters
tore their hair-how the cousin talked OF
wearing mourning all her days-and how
it was feared that Mrs. Westbay, who in
sisted on seeing him, would never recover
her senses. The county papers gave ex-
preston to the public grief. There were
a great many verses written about it. No
body passed the house of mourning with
out sigh or suitable remark. My un-
Gle superintended the making of the coffin,