The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1866-04-14
The Coup d'Etat "A. j.
From the Tribune.

The Coup d'Etat-A. J.
From the Tribune.
The organs of the Administration from the
Richmond Examiner down to the New York
Ne1os, are busily devising plans for 'abolishing"
Congress. It is amusing to read their many
hued schemes for getting things right again, and
placing the nation on the true basis OF national
unity" It seems to us that valiant gentlemen
who fought like Troians to keep out of the Union
for five years should not particularly complain
il they are permitted to pray five years longer
before coming in again. Possibly ii any one of
the seedy gentlemen now hanging around the
doors of the Senate or the House, hoping to
enter upon the green fields OF mileage, and sta
tiOnery, and books, and CAB, and gasconade, had
been asked two years ago whether he would ac-
Cept position in the Senate, he would have
asked the memorable question ABOUT thy servant
being dog under certain circumstances. Time
and occasion often change wrath into felicity,
however; and il President Johnson has any Offices
hanQlng heavily on his hands he can find grey
backs in abundance to relieve him.
It is not for the mere love OF Office that we
scOld the poor Rebels. The hope OF getting the
largest amount OF pay for the smallest amount
O work, which lies AZ the basis OF otfice-ove, is
as ardent in the hearts of the manly SOutnerners
az among the Democrats OF Tammany Hail. or
the eleemosynary editors of starving newspapers
We do protest mildly but firmly against the
scheme now pervadirg the Rebel press of en-
tirely destroying Congress, abolishing the judi
the care of Mr.. Andrew johnson. We
30 not make this protest from personal
dislike to MIR. johnson If we are to be
owned by one man, perhaps he will be
as nd to us as any person else, and see that we
have work and feed and clothes. We do not
dare to doubt Mr.. Johnsons willingness to enter
upon the task. Our worthy President has never
been especially censurable Tor the absence OF
Willingness to do anything that pleased hun.
The change would be economical. We should
not have immense printing bills to pay-long
columns OF CAB from valuable Representatives
--cartloads of Globes, and reports, and otLer
printed paper, which go to dcvelope the coun-
trygToCerY and runk.lining interests, an eX-
tended judiciary stem, with the ineXhaustible
following of marshals, and clerks, and criers,
and jaiOrS-not to speak of the huge telegra-
phic bills we are compelled 10 meet every morn
ing Tor long speeches.
We have no doubt Johnson could run the
machine for hall.cost; and, bv rismissing half
of our officials, the demand for labor in the
Western territories would be largely met. There
might be some hard feeling among those gentle.
men of the Senate and House who would, Of
necessity, according 10 the NelUs' plan, be
hanged as Benedict Arnoldsn But, OF course,
we cannot please everybody. The summary
execution OF Sumner, Stevens, and Phillips
would unavodaDly be conceded Mr.. Sumner
has no children, and would, therefore, leave no
inconsolabIe widow to mourn his loss. Thad-
deus Stevens is quite an old man, and little
hanging would only anticipate the destiny
which all of us must contemplate at the age of
three score and ten. As for Mr.. Phillips, his not
DeI1g nangeU Is one oil tnOSe anOnaIleS IN Anle-
TIcan civilization which the President owes 1t
TO his country and his God to reform. We could
wish it in the interests of oratory. Wendell
W. uld make US good speech-iar ahead OF
Emmett's we have no doubt-and dying speeches.
tirstclass, are hard to get. The rope around the
neck might add unusual pathos; but the tears
would be pardoned 10 the singularity of associa
tOn.
We began this article intending to be very
severe upon those gentlemen VINO were pro-
posing to do away with Congress, abolish the
Supreme Court, overthrow our llbertes and
place us in the hands OF a -, well, we Will not
be harshl Weintended to rebuBe these vile conspi-
rators, as men whom earth would refuse to hide,
whose very dust would poison the worms with
several other very fine and striking phrases.
But, as happens to all fair minds, the close
ANALYSIS of the subject has compelled us to pause
Providence made A. j. President. Should we
not improve on Providence, and make him
Dictator? Why ali this redtape and fuss about
Congress and Courts! 1t would have taken
Congress ten years to agree upon a procIa-
nation ike t1at declaring 'Peace"-a proclama-
tiOn so sel1-evident, that we were surprised it
had not beenimade six months ago. Cavilltng
people have said that it meant nothIng-that 1t
no more made peace than an almanac makes
summer. But this falsehood have
triumphantly exposed by showing that,
in the matter of rations alone, it
saves the country from $3.50 to So per day.
Can other Presidents say as much II
requires but hasty calculation to show that at
this rate the President would only have 10 issue
247, ,09l proclamations day for ten years to pay
of the whole public debt-an enterprise which
any public-spirited man, especially when he had
the lob of managing the United States, would
not hesitate to undertake.
We are becoming so enraptured with this
scheme, that unless we change the subject and
close our article we shall find ourselves going
as tar as the veriest Copperhead-in favor OF
h A. j., chasing Congress out OF the Capitol, and
decorating the grounds around the White House
with the swaying bodies of Mr.. Sumner, Mr..
Phillips, and Mr.. Stevens. How comfortable it
would be to rest forever III Andrews gentle
bosom, with no care, elections no taxes,
nothing to veX us 1t might annoy us to find
all the Presidential spos going TO the Netos,
and the World, and the FreeDl0n's journal;
but when that time comes we shall no longer
print the Tribune, for the duties OF this paper
are to end with the millennium, and we shall nc
longer fret oven endless editorials, and ceaseless
narrations OF news, and vain efforts to improve
and ennoble the world. We shall be in thai
extreme felicity otrepose of which Mr.. Seward
is regarded as the most conspicuous livine
representative, wherein everything is altogether
lovely while the anserine bird occupies a con
spicuoUs position The attainment of this viii
terminate our humble work, aud consummatt
every earthly desire.
The South and its Friends The False and
the True.