The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1866-08-23
KENosHA, WISCONSIN, THURSDAY AUGUST 49, 1866
(Which will did you destroy, doct or P

i (Which will did you destroy, doct or ?
[ asked.
i He staggered into the corner of the room
unable to reply. He would never accuse
me again, and yet promised not to expos,
him but it was in Difference to the invalid
sister of the deceased, that | allowed;my
self to be silent in the presence of infamy
i Before daylight there was another corps,
in the house, and it was told for two months
after, that Mrs. Colebrook had been killet
by the shock of her husbands death.
/ buried them both two days after, and
had the pleasure of seeing the Colebr ocl
fortune pass into the hands Of the poor anC
deserving sister.
have never seen or heard from Docto
Rowne from that day 10 this. IL is said he
went to the East Indies If he did, the dew
ii is with him there, and always will be.
The First lesson in the Art of Wife Tanning
The following excellent aud reliable meth
cd of wife tanning is an extract from per
simmon Papers,"
| At supper her health must be proposed
by the spokesman of the party, and wher
she retires ready to drop with suppressed
evaporation, you must all stand up, and
forming double lines, allow her to pass from
tie room through an avenue of those whom
she will regard as the greatest brutes she
ever met with. Continue wine aud revel
ry until morning has far advanced, and
when you retire to rest, expecting to FIND
her asleep, you will see pale figure with
sunken cheeks sitting up in bed. DON'T
give way be fr,n, if over you can be so
at this moment. Now will commence your
first curtain lecture in the Caudle style
thus:
"Do you think ever would have mar
ried, if my house were to be turned into a
tavern, into pot house I'm sure all the
place won't be sweet for month All the
curtains are poisoned with smoke, aud much
more, with the filthiest ever knew, Take
'em down. but they were only put up a
month ago But careful wife's lost upon
you You ought to have married somebody
who'd have let your house go to wreck and
ruin, as will in the future
"And what a coalition the carpets in.
They've taken the five pounds out of tt. if a
farthing with their filthy boots, and | don't
know what besides. And then the smoke
in the hearth rug, and large cinder hole
burned in it. | never saw such house in
my life Ha ! and you call yourselves the
lords of creation should like to see what
would become of creation if you were left to
yourselves pretty pickle creation would
be in very soon
"You must all have been in a nice con-
dition What do you say? You took moth
ing Took nothing, didn't you? Pm --sure
there's such regiment of bottles, | haven't
had the heart to count 'em. And punch
too You must have had punch There is
hundred half lemons in the kitchen, if
there's one; for Susan showed 'em to me-.
No, sir Susan shan't leave the house -
What do you say She has no right to tell
lies, and you will be master Of your own
house! Will you? If you don't alter, you'll
soon have no house to be master Of A whole
loaf of sugar did leave in the cupboard,
and now there isn't as much as would fill
teacup. Do you suppose Pm to find sugar
for punch for fifty men ? What do you say?
There wasn't fifty? that's no matter, the
more shame for 'eln, sir. Pm sure they
drank enough for fifty.
Do you suppose out ofmy housekeep.
ing Pm to find punch for all the world You
don't ask me You do you know you do F.;
for if only want shilling extra the whole
house is abIaze. And yet whole loaf of
sugar can you throw away upon! No,
won't be still and | won't let you go to sleep.
If you had come TO bed at proper hour you
would have beeq asleep by now. You can
sit up half the night with pack OF people
who don't care for you, and poor wife can't
get in word.
And there's that china image-I would
not have taken any sum of money for it,,
and you know it-and how do | find it
With its precious head knocked off! You
knew nothing about it Now how can you
lie there, in your Christian bed, and say
that You know that fellow with the big
whiskers knocked off the head with the po-
ker
"You know that he did =? And you hadn't
the feeiugs-yes | will say it--you hadn't
the feelings to protect what you knew was
precious to me. Oh no, if the truth was
known, you were glad to see it broken for
that very reason.
. Every way Pve been insulted. | should
| like to know who it was that corked nous
taches on my dear Aunts picture OH!
you're laughing are you You're not laugh
ing Don't tell me that should like to
know what shakes the bed, then, if you are
not laughing"
! The worthy lecturer will recline on her
pillow about this stage, when she will soon
fall under the effects of every material part
of the treatment you must while she is sit
ting up, and pouring out the utterance of
her overburdened heart, have emptied a
small phial of choroform upon her pillow,
on the side farthest from you, and to which,
of course, she will turn. And this harmless
and humane method, which will give rest
to two persons at once, must be repeated as
often as she commences her nocturnal dis.
courses.