The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1866-11-24
AMERICAN LuvE-MAKINc.
THE NATURAL HISTORY OF "CoURrERso

From the " Y. Sunday Mersury.
CoURTERs are as varied in their views and
aspects as members of Congress on the tariff
question, but not whit more absurd.
The BAsHFUL CoURTER is generally some
callow youth, who has thought II necessary
to make love because it is a custom of the male
sex, and not on account OF any ardent desire
that he is inspired with. He seems half afraid
Of the courtee, seats himself in distant corner,
and fdgets nervously when she comes too near
him. He will often remain dumb for an hour
at time, while the courtee has to amuse
herself in the best way she can. Callers
come and go, rivals pop in and out, the
fleeting hours of evening pass, mater
fdDllhdS fits into the room to see if
her daughter has company, but still the b. G.
sits, uninterestiDg and uninterested sort of
wooden Cupid impressive from its very i'm
passability and dead weight. When at
last approaching midnight warns the B.
G.. that it is time he should go home
to his mother, he mutters to the yawning
courtee thathe thinks it is getting late, searches
for his hat that he has secreted on his entry In
some out-of-the-way place, and glides like the
ghost OF Love past the courtee, who holds the
courage to pass compliment on the eourtee,
who is so much startled by the unexpected
event that she has been known Immediately on
his departure to ask her ma what the B. C.
/ could possibly mean.
The B. G. is quite an enigma to most young
ladies. They do not understand him, he an
pears so odd and out OF place. Consequently,
Their curiosity is excited, and, as natural con.
quence, their interest To tue astonishment of
! men who would have thought themselves dis.
gTaCed in being considered his rivals, the b. G.
is found to have won the belle of a circle;
though how the thing was done is one of those
mysteries that society aud old women can never
fully account for In Gosslping discussions; but
they are, perhaps, no more astonished than the
b. G. himself, who is quite aware that he is
stick, and finds himself married he does not
know bow-tnoqgh,, perhaps, the courtee's
mamma could enlighten him on the subject.
Alter marriage, the B. G. suddenly becomes
cheeky. The veil OF mystery that enveoped the
fair sex has been lifted, he has ceased to be
awed, and becomes the most gallant man of his
circle.
THE CoNCETTED COURIER is the laughing.stock
OF the courted sex. HIS too manifest selt.appre-
citation affords them immense amusement, and
his selfimportance they delight, after increasing,
TO suddeklv annihilate with blasting mo !j
When the @. c. hears the word OF doom pro-
nounced, he cannot believe in the courte3's sin
cerity and consequently often has to have
the sentence repeated by mamma, big brother
and horsewhlp or boot. Still the c. q.
is not brought to his senses. Though you
bray fool in mortar" the old proverb saws,
and Though the G. G. has been refused a
hundred times" say the courtees, "you cannot
| drive his folly from him." The G. c. is generally
| possessed of good looks, and glib tongue which
| lar outstrips his turtle-like Judgment, He has
possessed himself Of all the stupid and funny
little anecdotes of current literature, and retals
them by the peck. He generally has some
| small musical ability, which he displays on all
| occasions. Alter being snubbed or rejected
| several times, he caunot perceive why stupid
fellows who cannot play, or sing, or tell stories
| orrepeat stereotyped compliments, are favorites
OF the fairest courees, while ne is looked on as
| a urug ana nuisance. AT last, the @. G.. be-
comes some old maids or Widows victim, who
| eDllehtens him by the light of the honeymoon.
| The EGTRAvAGANT COURIER is not necessarily
| rich, yet he lavishes expenditures of money on
| the courtee as if she were likely 10 be good
| peCunlary investment. Courtees of low Instincts
| often pretend to be attached to the Il. c., that
| they may receive his avors. He is generally a
youth OF little discretion, though sometimes he
| is an old bachelor, where long-repressed luxu-
| riousness is having its natural revenge. The
| E. G. is most unfortunate individual. He is
| impelled to rum himself financially and morally
| by his insane desire to bind the courree to hi n
| with gifts. For this purpose, he often robs his
| employers till, and has been known to pawn his
own watch to buy diamond ring for the courtee.
His efforts at presentgiVlng are veW wed with uss-
piciOn and sensible courtees are apt to hesitate
| before committing themselves with the Il. c.,
| though mercenary girls look at him as harvest,
indeed.
Large cities are generally infested with E. C.'s,
| and employers should oftener inquire into the
| style OF their employees courtShips, than as to
| their RELIGIOUS or political opinions. Certainly
there is more peCuniary interest ia the inquiry
| for as clerks say 1T is the boss who pays for
| the wagon when the L. O. goes a riding with
| his Mary Ann. There is a vulgar idea that half
| OF the young swells who delight their courtees
| with Sunday ridIng, have no stockings under
| their boots, and that an hour before the ride,
the +. @. is in distress trying to borrow shirt
| as his own have been seized by an e2asperated
| unpaid washerwoman, in consequence of the
| boss looking too sharp" after the cash-boX.
| BE that as it NAV, the E. G. often stands at the
| bar of Justice instead of the altar OF Hymen.
| The SHoPPIsT CoURTER is the gentleman who
| enlightens his courtee on the business transac-
| tlons of the day. He never makes loYe directly.
| By asserting that rice or sugar has advanced,
| and that he has large stock on hand, he thinks
| he conveys to the mind of his courtee that he is
| soon likely to be in position to marry, and OF
| course she is knowing enough to discover who
ia the fortunate bride-elect. The s. G. is great
| nuisance to the fair sex. Few ladies care to
| hear dissertations on the stock market; and the
intricacles of the last trial of the constitu
| tionality of law bewilder a young courtee,
| even when eXpounded by handsome young
| LAWYER; but when dry goods merchant amor
| Ously informs his cOurtee that silks are rising,
| she must feel disgusted: or when petty dealer
| fondly hopes that his oourtee must sympathize
with him in the fall of oil, paint and putty, it
| must be expected that Love will rush out OF the
| room for scen[Dottle' co..
The JEALOUS CoURTER is an ill-conditioned
dog who keeps up growing and barking, TO
the disgust of all who have anything to do with
| him. How the coUrtee ever consents to wed
him is, at first sight, mystery, That many
| springed elliptic, the female mind has peculiar
and startling methods of action, revealing its