The tri-weekly standard. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1866-1868, 1866-11-10
GENERAL ITEMS.

An enraged parent had jerked his
provoking son across his knee, and was
operatinS on the exposed portion of the
urchin's person, with great vehemence,
when the young one dug into the pa
rental legs with his venemous little
teeth.
"Blazes! what are you biting me
"Wel, dad, you beginned this here
war:''
The Chicargo Lake Tunnel only
lacks, it is said, about five hundred feet
of ofcompletion The workmen on either
end report that they can distinctly hear
every blow struck by each other.
A constable in Ohio lately testified
in court as follows: 81 know nothing
of her but what 1 hear the neighbors
say and, in my opinion, what a woman
saws of another is not worthy of De
lief"
1t makes peoples mouths water to
think of the revenue ofsome Of the Eng
lish ecclesiastical functionaries. The net
revenues ofthe B:shopric of London for
the year 1865 were 500, ,e35 of the
Dean and Chapter Of ST. Paul's Cathe-
iral. London, S54,35O in gold, and of
ii. D,un and Chapter Of estminster
Apoey,s ,sl4>, $50 in gold.
\ Milwaukee Young lady has set her
eao tor = rather large teller," but taile
{. win him, when a confident tried to
'...'r~- h-r with the words, " \ ever
- No.Iie, there is as good fish in the
sea Is ever was caught . Mollie,
knows that" replied her little brother,
"but she wants a whale"
A spruce young gent of Montpelier,
Vt, fresh from his Latin studies, re-
Gently called upon some young ladies,
and being asked by the servant for his
name as he sat quietly in the parlor, re-
piled Amidcus' Ga friend). Biddy was
little puzzled, but regaining her COM
posure, in the blandest manner possible
observed, "What kind of cuss did
you say, sir 90 That cured him of Latin
lingo.
(Which is the strongest day?''
"Sundayr'
"Why sop
Because all the rest are week days!'
Very good, but if Sunday is the
strongest, how comes it to be the only
one that can be broken?
A gentleman was one day arranging
music tor lady to whom he was pay
ing his attention.
Miss NJ" what time DO you pre-
fer?n
"Oh," she replied, carelessly, "any
time will do-but the quicker the bet
ter.''
"The Dunmow Fitch is offered to
happy couples this year, Charles, love-"
said Emma to her young husband.
81 don't care" said Charles, gravely.
u could not in honor compete for it.
You have never wished yourselves
unmarried.
And you could not say that, Charles ?''
SAID Emma, her large blue eyes prepar-
ing for swim.
Certainly not. Ihave often wished
"Oh, Charles -
Yes. Because then I could have
married you again.
The rest a1oatId not interest q cold
hearted public. Fl London Punch.
The laws of China are severe against
tne expectation of coolies a such, and
tnere is but single Asiatlc port at
winch vessels can openly load with hui
man cattle for foreign markets. That
port is Macao, which belongs to Portu-
gai. The coolies are obtained at Sbang-
pais Iai and Canton, widely separated points
nan nal1 OF each shipment, as nearly as pos
slpe, being taken from each port, for
[eaSon T'. which will be seen presently.
;Gooiies cannot be induced, as they could
ta iormer years, to voluntarily embark
ioI ol loreign countries under contract for
ap' 'ao'r tor term of years, but must be
,"ats, ,~''alned Il! by fraud. The object is ac-
tto'hpHshed 20 through Chinaman's beset
lons l%Is and nnc"nquerable weakness-thei
A0Se OF gambling. i