West-Jersey pioneer., 1866-04-14
RAILROAD INCIDENTS.

| On the New-York Central Railroad
from Albany to Buffalo, conductors are
| frequently changed, and with the entrance
of each new one comes the annoying com
mand "show you ticketsw On night
trip, few weeks since, a testy old Yam
kee was one Of the passengers, and having
exhibited his ticket to the first conductor
he placed it in well-worn pocket book
buttoned it in the breast pocket of his
coat, pulled his hat tightly down over his
eyes, and resigned himself to sleep. The
first dream was just beginning when an
other conductor came in, and cried in his
startled ear, "show your ticket" He
reused up and exclaimed
81 reckon you don't want to be seeing
on it all the time, dew yep
"Once will do for me" said the con-
ductor.
'I should kinder think you had seen it
often, so you kin pass along"
But the conductor insisted, and the old
fellow had to unbuckle, grumbling the
while like a bear with sore heads
Presently the conductor came back again,
thinking he had overlooked some, and as
he approached. the Yankee roared out:
"What, again ? Well, you are the big
gest bother | ever did see there, take a
good look at it this time, and don't come
back again"
Once more at rest, the old man stuck it
in his hat band, where it could be easily
seen, and settled down in regular snore.
The motion of the cars loosened his hat
and it soon fell off, rolling under the seat
A sleepless wag, seeing the accident, ap-
preached the old man and shouted in his
ear
"Show yor ticket 2"
"Patience massy on us!" he screamed,
"if here amt one of these ticket fellers
ag'in !"
He pulled out his pocket-hook and
rumbled it over, and felt in his pockets
for the ticket in vain, and at last broke
out:
"You've got it, l know ye hev l gin
it to ye meself."l
Here he recollected sticking it in his
hat band, and now commenced a search
for the hat, which had travelled far out OF
his sight and reach. After busy search,
he espiea something black under fat old
lady's seat, and pitching after it, walked
her ladyship out of a sound sleep. She
cried out:
What on airth are ye after, l do want
to know p
'I'm only jist reaching for me hat,
mum, its got under your seat. !"
81 tell you faint no sick thing; that's
nice excuse to be giving for coming
feelin' round people in the dark, in this
kinder way. I'll tell the agent, see if |
"Why, goouA---e
don't be skeered; never dreamed of
teching ye."
Well, I didn't SAY you dreamed about
it; but you amt bit too good for it,
comm round here in the middle OF the
night, acting in that way. Why don't
you get your hat and go away.
Thus permitted, the old man reached
carefully under the seat to take the hat,
when it proved to be the old woman's pet
dog, which snapped at him with DOW
wow, and caught his fingers.
"Blame the little sarpent," yelled the
frightened man, "why it's a live cata-
mount; declare
"Now I guess you're satisfied" says the
old vixen, "that your hat amt there"
Just then the cars threw the poor man
into the woman's lap, from which ne es-
capped with sundry scratches, and remark.
ing more coolly than could be excepted
that che would rather be bit by dog
than hugged bp bear
The wag who had personated the con
ductor thought the joke had gone tai
enough, and picking up the hat, handef
it to the old fellow, and settled him dowr
in his corner again.