Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1866-11-15
What Happened at Our House.
BY PETER sPoRUM, ESQ

After we were married, we'll say about a
year, wun mornin thar wus terrible commo-
shun in our house-oe wimmin runnin in
and out, and fnally the Doctor he cum; [
was in great fury myself, waitin to heer, |
hardly uoed what to do, but arter awhile,
an ole granny of a woman, as had been very
bissy about thar, poked her he'd into the
room whar l was walking about, and ses.
Ses she, "Mr Sporum, hits gal"
"What," ses I.
"a gal," ses she, an with that she pops
her he'd back again.
Well thinks l, I'm the daddy Nv gal,
and begin to feel my keeping uicely-Id
ruther it wus boy tho thinks 1, for he'd
feel nearer to me, as how he would bare my
name and there would be less chance for
Sporums to run out, but considering every
thing gal will do nifty we'll. Just then
the old nuss pokes her he'd out an ses.
Ses she ; "Another wun, Mr. Sporum, a
fine boy" Anuther ses l, that's rather
croWdln Things on 10 IeiloW.
She laffed and poked her he'd back. Well,
thinks I, thisis no joke sure; at this lick I'll
have family enuff to do me in few years,
but the Lords will not mine, be dun.
Jis then the ole she devil, q always will
hate her, pokes her he'd in an ses
"Ses she, "Anuther gal, Mr.. Sporum."
"Anuther what, ses l."
"Anuther gal,' ses she.
"Well," ses I, 60 rite strate and tell Sal |
won't stand it-don't want 'em-and I amt
goin to hav 'em ; dus she think I'm Turk q?
or Mormon For Brigham Young? that she'd
90 for to hav thribbs three at pop? dus
she think I am wuth hundred thousand :?
that lam John Jacob Aster or Mr.. Ros-
chile that I can afford to hay thribbs, and
clothe and feed three children at time l
amt agoin to stand it no how, did Mt want
'em, don't want 'em, and l amt goin to
want 'em now nor no other time. Haint |
bin good dutiful husband to Sal? Hant
I kept in doors Nv mite, an quit chawiu
terbacker, an smokiu sigarsj jist to please her?
haint 1 attended divine worship regular !?
haint bought her all the bonnets and frocks
she wanted ?-an then for her to hav thribbs
l won't live with her, she coed better and
hadn't orter dun it. She dun it with her
ise open, au mus take the consequences. l
didn't think Sal would serve me sich trick
no how. Have l ever stole horse hav I
ever done any mean trick, that she should
serve me in this way? An with that I laid
down on the settee, and felt orful bad, and
the more 1 thot about it, the wuss I felt.
Presently SAILS nanny, ole Miss Jones,
cum in an ses
Ses she, "Better cum in and see what
pretty chillun you've got"
"Chilluu," ses I, "you'd better say a
whole litter Now Miss Jones, I luv Sal
you no, and have tried to make good hus-
band, but 1 call this a scaly trick, and if
thar is any law in this country, I'm goin to
see if omen can have thribbs, an make q
man take keer Nv 'em." l aint agoin to
begin to do it ses l.
With that she laffed fit to kill herself, an
sed any uther would be proud to be in my
shoes. 1 told her I'd sell out nifty cheap il
anybody wanted to take my place. Well,
the upshot Nv it all was, that she persuaded
me l was all rong, and got me to 60 in the
room whar they all was.
When l got in Sal lookedso lovin at me,
an reached out her little hands so much like
poor deer helpless child that I forgot every
thing but my luv for her, and folded her up
gently to my heart like preShus treasure,
and l didn't keer if she had forty Nv 'em
Jis then number one set up whine like g
young pup, and all the balance followed
Them thribbs knew their daddy.
A GONIJNDRUM -Why is an awkward