Democrat and sentinel. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1853-1866, 1866-05-10
EVERYBODY'S COLUMN.

does a marriageable young lady.
HAPPINESS is a pig with a greasy
tail which everybody runs after but
nobody can hold.
e. A "Clymer Club, to be COM
posed entirely Of soldiers, has been
organised in Juniata county.
WHEN q young lady promises
her hand to her lover on a bright
night, don't she make "a star en-
gagement?''
WHATS the difference between
butcher and a corn doctor ?-one
cuts the corns, and the other corns
the cuts.
THE youth who cut open the bel
lows to see where the wind came
from is now trying his hand at fat
tening grey hounds.
He is a fool who imagines that the
chief power OF wealth is to supply
wants. In ninety-nine cases out of
a hundred it creates more wants
than it supplies.
GooD spirits are often taken for
good nature, yet nothing differs so
much, insensibility being generally
the source Of the former and sensi-
bility the latter.
81 \ gentleman having been ask
ed on his return from a party the
other evening whether he had seen
Miss A, a young lady noted for
her low-necked style of dress-re-
piled he had seen a good deal Of
her :"
AN old sportsman, who, at the
age of eighty-three, was met by a
friend riding very fast, was asked
what he was in pursuit of? "Whv,
Sir" replied the other, 50 am rid
-ttTag tTag after my eighty-fourth year.
g. a Western local " acknowl-
edges the gift of & two boquets, smi-
ling in their paper frills as do girls,
faces within their laced night-caps. "
That man is too imaginative to be
kept on prosaic q" items"
81 A French waiter, in describing
the trading powers Of the genuine
Yankee said: ''If he was cast away
on a desolate island, he'd get up the
next morning and 90 around selling
maps to the inhabitants"
g. 81 have lost my appetite, said
a gigantic fellow, who was an emi-
nent performer on the trencher, to a
friend. q hope" said the friend,
"no poor man has found it, for it
would ruin him in a week"
SOME fellow who hadn't much res
pect for himself, much less the fair
subject of his cruel lines, says:
Ioungster, spare that girl !
Kiss not those lips so meek
Unrufied let her fair locks curl
Upon the maiden's cheek.
Believe her quite saint;
Her looks are all divine,
Her rosy hue is paint
Her form is crinoline.
sE A Connecticut deacon was at
taching very poor and feeble pair
of oxen TO a very large load ofwood.
\ neighbor asked him how he eXpec-
ted to get so large a load to market
with so poor team. The deacon
replied that he expected to have
some assistance from Divine Provi-
dence. His neighbor asked him
whether it would not be as well to
dispense entirely with the oxen and
let Providence, draw the whole load,
e~ A pair of lovers, fleeing from
stern and cruel parents, were mar
ried in the cars near St. Louis, the
other day. Papa telegraphed to the
conductor to send his daughter
back: but he telegraphed back I;
"Never return FAIR on this road.
AN analyzing dame reports that
she heard Of bnt one old woman
that kissed her COW; but she knows
Of many thousands of young ones
who have kissed very great calves.
a- A landlady, who had, some
very weak chicken broth for dinner,
the other day, was asked by wag
of a boarder if she couldn't coax
that hen to wade through the soup
once more.