The Daily empire. (Dayton, Ohio) 1865-1867, 1866-07-10
THE DAILY EMPIRE.
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H. III. ROBINSON,
PUBLISHER AND PROPRIETOR.
A MANS CONFESSION.
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working OF WOman's heart. Did IL ever
seem strange TO you that so few men come
TO the confessional? iu
4 IL is partly from the nature of things that
l know. a woman's life is so made up of
her affections, and their expression Is a ma
tural gift augmented by habitually dwell
ing upon every variation, aud the hecessl-
~ with most of their sex of q con1dant for
whom each emotion is analyzed, each phase
of growth or dimihution recorded 10
Mans life. with rare exceptions, Is too
turbulent for brooding even over his sor.
rows. Few have. friendships sufficiently
close for emotional sympathy AFTER the bus
mess of life Is fairly entered upon. love Is
made Jest earnestness n matter of ridi-
cule. Stocks, and prices current the fail
llre of the day, the arrival or non-arrlyal
of the mails, the wavering of some political
adherency-these are our condolences, our
topics of congratulation or condolences.
Ihus we enjoy or suffer scarcely compre-
hending the matter ourselves for the lack
of futterance, not of feeling; and hence It Is
that when we read of the life, trials and
trinmphs Of woman-"Agatha's suspicious
OF the unkindness of her husband" for In
stance, or "Zaidee's" suffering In her self
sacriice-we get but glimpses of the tor
tured heart of Agatha's undetermined Ma
thaniel or of Philip Viyian's lonely Indian
life, self exiled not less bravely than Zaidee,
from home aud kindred. M
But forced myself at last to define the
disquietude that crept over me when |
thought my earthly happiness was perfect
ed. 1t was not jealousy of the dead for
accepting the existence of wrong and
sorrows In her early married life from my
chance informant, II had since been silently
confirmed IN many ways. | knew that
Mary's confidence In me and her content i'm
my devotion were new and full experience
to her, as fresh as the vivid happiness
which tnllab n nd tas, Of 4, So
ed the power TO thrill me with; but was
Jealous of her child. was soon to be n
father. longed for the time to come with
all woman's desire, that might feel the
velvet cheek pressed to mine, aud the ecling-
Ing baby arms twined around my neck. I
pictured the time when the innocent eyes
would light up with recognition at my
voice, when my hand should guide the tot |
terlng feet to its mothers knee, and oh, |
joy IL should hear father IN the falter- |
ing utterance of my child's lips. Do you
think all this unmanly, or that am alone
among my fellows In these imaginings
Nay, am alone only in the confession but |
promised to tell you all.
How ! watched the tiny white robes |
which Mary fashioned, and toyed with the |
tluttering ribbons with which she looped |
them! How wonderful seemed all the |
little gathering of fpreparation for the ex- |
pected little one what new pride, and |
pleasure, and tenderness brought tears TO |
my eyes rs sat beside my wife In the hush
oftwilight, and thought Of all these things
1t was at such time AS this that the first |
temptation TO evil intruded. Alice came to |
bid her mother good night In her own |
playful, fondling way. "Pretty mamma,
dear mamma she said "come and sing to
me little while"
For this child she could leave my side.
Here was claim stronger than my own,
earlier than mine, one that had been all
absorbing before we met; that | knew IL |
was this child that had first awakened n II
mothers love, that had stolen from mine
the birthright of first mother kin, who
would come between us Ia the solemn 10y
to which ! looked forward, new to me
alone. To Mary, llfe's holiest emotion
would only repeat itself feebly.
All this came upon me suddenly; but
could not shake Il off. | could not well
come as before the little creatures morn
ing kiss. shrank from her instinctively
when she climbed upon my knee at night
fall, and laid her head upon my shoulder as
she had always done. | began to think,
what If she should die of one of those
many disorders incident to childhood,
would Mary suffer much? Would it not
add new rapture to the welcome of my
childY And then there would be no rival
TO share her love and cares.
These thoughts did not come suddenly,
/
my whole life. | now became
moody and fitfnl, irritable TO degree en-
tirely foreign to my nature. and when
Mary needed all my tenderness. She saw
II sorrowfully and patiently. If she guessed
the cause she never uttered reproach |
but noticed that Alice came 20 us less ,
frequently, and In our hearts our estrange
ment commenced. :,
My boy was given to me in the peril and q
anxiety Of that hour. forgot all but my n
precious, uncomplaining wife, and that, If
she were taken from me now, life wOuld
be a burden. But even when laid the :
child beside her for the first time, and saw q
The loving smile that looked from the half g
closed violet eyes up into mine, the tempter n
III
One night, wearied with the restraints of
The nursery, little Alice begged me to row
her out upon the stream that ran sparkling
and eddying at the foot OF the lawn. She
was dropping In her mothers absence from
her daily life, and ihad seen her sobbing
more than once because the oiflcious nurse
ienied her more than her daily visit 10 the N
room, which Mary had not yet LETT. A sud !.
leu imIulsemoved me to grant her request
The sunset was ripping the waters when
pulled past our garden, and floated out OIL
'ight. IL was quite dark before | turned
back, FOR the child was satisfied, and was m
ost in the old bitterness Of spirit. v
She had been lying quietly on cloak In n
ne bottom OF the boat unconscious Of the Il
'ruel speculations of which she was the in 10
locent cause. She loved me, and trusted N
ne as ever. and presently erept MP and a,
eaned over my knee, dipping her hand In d
he warm, pleasant tide, and dropping her q
urls over her face 10 see how nearly they y
ouched the water. IL was dangerous / g
position, aud instantly stretched out my A
land 10 guard her; but drew IL back b
'lowly. Would it be my fault IL she leaned "
'ver too hrS Would not every one under II
tand IL as child's freak Even Mary !.
yopld not dream of upbraiding me; and n
lieu all would be at AN end, all the daily
orlnre or the eliiids presence, which
would increase year by year, all the cs- Z,
rangement between her mother and my- =
elf.
On my child would be centered all tho Io,'