The southerner., 1866-07-14
ANOTHER GOOD STORY BY
RICK" POMEROY--A
DUTCH PHILOBENE.

DUTCH PHILOBENE.
I can't help it, so l will tell you the
tale as the tale twas told to me. It
was, it is simply simple tale, and tells
of the mistakes of life as 'twere. The
Germans tell their troubles to me as
chloroform is poured on handkerchief
to relieve the patient.
One day while standing patting the
neck of kitty my running mare, an
honest Teuton, who had seen service in
the war, came up and said:
'Ah, mynheer Bumroy, you here 2
sYaw, mynheer Schwipes, I hear
$500! You busy dis morning%
mo, Jacob, I'm never busy unless
when I am busy
sWell den, mynheer Bumroy, you
shust make tie that horse loose so he
can make herself blay around NIT her.
self in ter yard leetles and [ sits down
on mine-mine-a mean your saw-horse
unu oeiiS you some 0lDgs.
We sat. Then said the man:
sNow, you see, Mr.. Bumroy, I no
makes myself like the way talk about
my cousins, Snicksnaker. He pc so
goot man as never pes anyveres. He
shust like me. He goes to ter wars. l
60 to ter wars, I goom to dis free coun-
try help live here. Und ven de war
gooms I shoulder my fife und mine
trummel, und [ goes out to get re-
groots. Und I got en-! Und 1 sends
en- off to war. Und purity soon, bime-
by, ven de pig bounties get SO pig as a
whole hog, Mr.. Bumroy, kiss mine
vrow und dakes ten hundred tollers
pounties und | 60 to ter war. Und l
tell my vrow she no makes water nit
her eyes, for l 60 long NIT Shenral
Shirts, and of course l comes back
You see, Mr.. Bumrcy, I knows who to
60 NIT. I would 60 NIT Siegel, but
Seigal gets his back up too much, and
is not careful who he don't fight nit
Und I would 90 nit Butler, but my
share of the silver would be sherman
silver, and dat is not so goot. So |
goes NIT Shirts, for he never gets hurt
in any country, und | knows we're Shirts
is, .hat it is vot you call we're you uts
money-safe.
well, | gets mine pounties, SO I
have some dings to pay taxes NIT till [
makes dead, den go as corporal rnits
Shirts, und l goes to ter war, und I do
shust like other feiler-I sees tings-
und makes monish-und I COON home
shust as goot as l vent away, Mr.. Bum
roy. Und l gets welcomed pack SO
goot. Mine vrow she bees SO glad to
see me as never wash. Und she looks
shust as she always did. Und ter folks
was so glad to see me. I goes down to
get some larger peer, and ven I goes
home Deacon Green is at mine house to
see me. Und l goes out NIT Deacon
green TO show him home and ven
goomes pack Deacon Brown is der to
see me and tells me he is glad make
myself goom pack, and [ 60 to be bolite
to Deacon Brown and to show him
home, und when I gcom back, [ find
der postmaster at mine house to see me
Und l goes to de berlite to der bostmas
ter man, und when gets pack, der is
der dax collector to see me, und | asks
him how much | must pay him, und ht
says, 'Oh, nothing, Jacob-seein' it:
you! So I goes to see him home, unc
den makes myself goom home to sleep
so nice as never varsh.'
'Und every night when comes home
I Wind some Of desc goot, patriotic men
who have done so much for the guntry
at my house to see me. Und, MIR
Bumroy, one night ven | goes home
hears nois in mine bedroom. Und
gals for mine vrow, and she nc hea
me-, SO I 60 in and find her asleep -
Und I Winds nice pair of boots in te
ped room, shust wern 80 much as de
will not hurt my feet, und makes min
head 60 under der winder to see VIII
makes nois, und see enc of desc ba
triots who geeps der gopperheads ava
from mine vrow while be gone fror
ter war, chasing a horse inter te
woods. Oh, Mr.. Bumroy, I tell 20
tits nice to 60 to be soldier mai
und to goom home, and to Wind sue
goot friends among such goot men, an
to have such men give me nice Datt
Phalobenes!
THE SCHOOLMASTER IN TIA
BED.