Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1866-02-02


naoits third, g never mind what hap
pens SO long as it don't happen to you"
EE- A Northern "school marm,"
employed in teaching the q freedmen,
told a sprightly negro girl that she
q must not call the woman with whom
she lived mistress-she was as good as
anybody. Pretty soon the girl asked her
teacher what business she followed before
coming South to teach. g was bon |
net maker" was the reply "Well !"
said the girl, starting for the door, " IN
not goin' to 'sociate wild you any longer
you say dat rs ekil to my mistuss, and
she don't 'sociate wild bonnet makers"
EB- A gentleman on visit to Wash
ington one day very coolly opened the
door of the Senate chamber and was
abont to pass in, when the doorkeeper
asked: Are you privileged mem
Der p /" What do you mean by that2'
asked the stranger. The reply was =
Are you Governor, ex-member of
Congress. or foreign Minister II
am minister" From what court or
countryY' asked the official. From
Heaven, SIR" To which he replied,
f" This government at present holds no
intercourse with. that foreign power"
EH A colporteur. sometime ago, when
engaged in distributing tracts among
the poor benighted ones about town, met
with an amusing incident. Coming to
an isolated building. of humble preten-
sions. in the suburbs. he opened the
door without the ceremony of knocking,
saying. :" Will you accept tract of the
Holy Land 7" meaning the four pages of
letter press he had in his hand The
man of the house instantly replied
" Yes, be jabers. 0 whole section if you
give good title. But I'd like to knoa
u .eesQsoSse much prairie or ague therE
TO bother poor devil y
I AM A CHAPLAIN. During the 6ght
at Fishers Hill, at which the Federal
troops were victorious. the Confederate
General Jubal EARLY. In riding to the
front, met man pitching toward the
rear. Early accosted him thus:
/" Who are you, and where are you
going ?"
s." am chaplain, going to the rear"
6 Yes, curse you, you have been want
ing to go to Heaven for some time, and
now you've got chance, you run away"
&E A bachelor and young lady
bought some tickets in partnership in
lottery at the recent Sanitary Fair at
Milwaukee. agreeing to divide the pro-
ceeds equitably. They drew double
bedstead, baby-crib and lunch basket,
aud the question is how to divide them
or whether they shall not use them
sjintly.'
Bss- A wicked " Copperhead sends
the following resolution - Congress, as
an embodiment of those offered by Sum.
ner:
Resolred. That the Government was
established for the benefit of Massachu-
sets and the Republican party; that no
one else has any rights that we are hound
to respect. except gentlemen of African
scent.
A JuDGE said to topper on trial for
drunkness: Prisoner, you have heard
the complaint for habitual drunkenness
what have you TO say in your defence 2"
Nothing. please your honor, but
habitual thirst"
GB- The editor of country paper
says that he felt called upon to publish
ser Lewis sermon on the Locality
''' as It was question in which
y all his readers were deeply in
rested.
E9- A lady had favorite lap-doe
which she called q Perchance. z" "Where
did you find that name Z" somebody
asked. "0h. from Byron's dog; you
remember where he says, g Perchance
my dog will howl"
.Ey A hardy seaman who had es-
capped gone of the recent shipwrecks
upon our coast, was asked by good
lady how be felt when the waves broke
over him. He replied, Het, ma'am-I
s ss's ;:css.
EF A bachelor editor of our ac-
quaintance, who has very pretty sister.
recently wrote to another bachelor editor.
equslly fortunate. Please exchange"
kE IT is dreadful easy to be fool
- msn may be one, snd not know ii.