Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1866-11-30
Kissing as a Science

The editor of the Washington Star,
becoming weary Of politics and its at
tendant annoyances, has turned his at
tention to the softer emotions, and
here is the result. He says:
"People will kiss, yet not one in a
hundred knows how to extract bliss
from lovely lips, no more than they
know how to make diamonds out of
charcoal! Aud yet it is not easy, at
least for us. This little item is not
alone for new beginners, but the many
who 90 it like hunting coons or she'll
ing corn. First know whom you are
to kiss. Don't make a mistake, al
though a mistake may be good. Don't
Jump up like trout for a fly, and
smack a woman on the neck, on the
ear, or on the corner of her forehead,
on the end of her nose. or knock off
her waterfall, or jerk her bonnet rib
bon, in haste to get through. The
gentleman should be a little the tall
est. He should have a clean face, "a
kind eve, a mouth full of expression,
instead of tobacco. Don't kiss every
body: including nasty little dogs, male
or female. Don't sit down to it +:
stand up. Need not be anxious about
getting in crowd Two persons
are enough to corner and catch a kiss
more persons spoil the sport. Stand
firm; it won't hurt any after you are
used to it. Take the left hand Of the
young lady in your right; let your
hat 90 to-any place out Of the way
throw the left arm gently over the
shoulder Of the lady, and let the hand
fall down upon the right side TOWARD
the belt. Don't be in "a hurry; draw
her gently, lovingly to your heart; hel
head will fall lightly upon your shoul
der-and a handsome shoulder straI
it makes Don't be in a hurry; senC
a little life down your left arm anC
let it know its business. Her lief
hand is in your right, let there be al
expression to that, not like the gri
Of vice, but the gentle clasp, full O
electricity, thought and respect
Don't be in a hurry! Her head lie
carelessly on your shoulder! Yo
are nearly heart to heart Loo
down into her halEclosed eyes! Ger
tly, yet manfully press her to you
bosom Stand firm, and Proyidenc
will give you strength for the ordeal
he brave, but don't be in a hurry
Her lips are almost open! Lea
lightly forward with your head, nc
the body. Take good aim; the lip
meet-the eyes close-the heart open
the soul rides the storms, trouble
and sorrows Of life don't be in
hurry heaven opens before you
the world shoots from under you
feet as a meteor flashes across I'll
evening sky don't be afraid til
nerves dance before the just erecte
altar of love as zephyrs dance wit
dcw-trimmed Aowers-the heart lo
gets its bitterness, and the art of llis
ing is learned. No noise, no fuss, II
huttcring and squirming like hook in
paled worms kissing don't hurt
it don't require a brass band to max
it legal. Don't jab down on a beaut
ful mouth as if spearing for frogs
Don't grab and yank the lady as if sh
was a struggling colt! Don't mus
her hair, scratch down her collar, bit
her cheek, squizzle her rich ribbon.
and leave her mussed, rumpled an
muXed. Don't flavor your kisse
with onions, tobacco, gin-cocktail
lager beer, brandy, DC, for a mauC
lin kiss is worse than the itch to a de
icate, loving, sensible woman"