The Placer herald., 1866-01-06
OUR COUNTRY.

The Southern Meycuyy Of Weedowee.
Alabama, let this off abput five years ago.
1t is born again and is now going the rounds
The country still lives though the paper is
dead:
There's not the least shadow of doubt
of the matter-ours is emphalically, under
niably, incontrovertbIy, positively, compare.
lively, and superla,veIy,a great and glorious
country. The annals of time furnish no,h
ing to compare with il; Greece wasn't cir.
cumstance; Rome was nowhere, Venice
couldn't hold us candle; while all modern
nations sink into insigniicance before our
country. 1t has longer rivers, and more of
them, muddier, deeper, aud run faster, and
and go farther, and make more noise, and
rise higher and fall lower, and do more dam.
age than anybody else's rivers. 1t has
more lakes, and they are bigger and deeper
md clearer than those of any other nation.
1t has more cataracts, and they fall further,
and 60 faster aud harder, and roar louder,
and look grander than all other cataracts.
1t has more mountains, and higher ones, and
more snow on 'em, and they are harder to
get up, and easier to fall down, than all 9th.
er mountains. 1t has more gold and it is
heavier and brighter and is worth more than
the gold OF other nations Our rail cars are
bigger and run faster, and pitch off the track
oener, and kill more people, than all other
cars. Our steamboats, are longer, and ca,ry
bigger loads, and bile their busters oftener.
and the captain swaars harder, than in any
other country. Our men are bigger and
longer, and higher, and thicker, and can FIGHT
harder and faster, and can drink more wills.
key, chew more tobacco, spit more and fur
ther XII up their heels higher, and do any.
thing else more, and better, and of,ener than
men in all other countries combined. Our
ladies' are pretter, dress finer, spend more
money, break more hearts, wear bigger
hoops, and wider extent than all other ladies'
Our politicians can spout louder, lie harder,
make gas faster, dodge quicker, turn oflener,
make more noise, and do less work than
everybody else's politicians Our nigcers
are blacker, work harder, have thicker skulls,
smell louder, and need lhrashng oftener,
than other nggers. Our children souall
louder, grow faster, and get too big for their
trowsers quicker than any other children.
"lt is great country! 1t is the corner
stone of nations, it is the top of the pile the
head man of the heap. the last button IN
'ao''e's coa', tne GROWING Jewel IN the
diaden, the capital of the column, the last
link in The chain, the observed of all obser.
vers. 1t will eat up all other nations faster
than Pharaoh's lean kline ate up the fat ones.
When all other nations are punbered amonu
The things that were, it will be Just rejoicing
in strength. |. will kick all other nations
ont of existence, it will lick them up as a
COW llckeh salt. 1t has now lhirty,lhree
States and more a coming. 1t covers more
territory than all other nations. And finally.
It has louder thunder, faster lightning. bigger
hail, colder ice, than can be found n any
other part of the inhahi,able globe. Hur.
rah! Hurrah! llurrah! Three cheers for
the pro di gi Gus constellation of Free States.
Hang ma" that won't praise bis own
county,"