The Daily empire. (Dayton, Ohio) 1865-1867, 1866-11-05
FALSE FUNERAL
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| Rdn W look frightened; "Dul may be this
| Ileg's a judgment for taking on snch bnsi-
ness. HowsomeveE I'm to have three hun
dred pounds for II; aud you'll get the half,
Tom, the full half, If you'll conduct it prop
| erly, and give me your solemn promise. |
know you'll never break that"
Uncle, said ], I'm promise and keepit
too; but you must tell me what it is"
We'll, Tom'-and he drew a long breath
I-"lts living man you're going to put In
that coitiu in the Workshop | have made
II high and full of ais-holes; he'll lie quite
comfortable. Nobody knows about it but
Steele and Stoneman and yourself; they'll
| go with you Mind you trust no one else.
Don't look so stupid, man; can't yOu I'M
lderstand, Mr.. ElswOrthy didn't die nj All.
and never had brain fever but he wants
to get off from marrying Miss Westbay, or
something of that sort. They're taking a
queer way about it., / must say2 but these
gentecl people have ways of their own. IL
was the cousin that prepared my mind forit
IN the back parlor; that woman's up to any
a hand in It, till / heard that
the sexton of Beverly Church was
y poor relation of theirs The key of
the coffin Is to be given TO him; it win be
locked, not screwed down, you see; and
when alfs over at the vault--it will be
dark night by that time, for we don't move
| till three, and these December days are
out, and smuggle him Off to Hull with his
son, the carrier. There's ships enough
there to take him anywhere under
| feigned name"
"Could he get of themarriage no easierg''
said l. for the thought of living man In a
hearse, and hearing the service read over
him, made my blood run cold. You see
was young then.
"rhere's something more than the mar
riage In 1t, though they didn't tell me. odd
things will happen IN my business, and
| this is one of the quecrest. But youll
manage it, Tom, and get my blessing, be-
sides your half Of the three hnhdrtd
pounds; and DON'T be afraid of a., thing
coming wrong 60 him. Tor ntyersaW any
mau look 80 like Il corpse"
promised my uncle to do The business
and keep the secret. a hundred and fftN
pounds was no joke 10 II Young ma1i.h hediti-
| mug the world In the Undertaking line;
and The old man was so pleased with what
he called my sense and understanding. that
before falling asleep, close upon daybrcak.
he talked of taking me into partnership.
aud the Jobs We might expect from the
| llarro9atc family for the doWagcr countess
was near lour5corc, and two Of the young
ladies were threatened with decline Next
| day, early in the atcrnoor, Steele, Stone
man and were at work. The family sceu-
| ed duly mournful, suppose on account of
the servants. Mr. Elsworthy looked whn-
| lcrluly well In his shroad; and If one had
not looked close into the cutlin. they never
would have seen the airhoieS. Wei, WE
| sci out, mOurnio < cutChps hrarsc and all,
through the yellow fog of December day.
There was nothing but sad facta Mt ai
| the wiGduWs us we passed; | heard
| them admrng steele and Stoneman for The
| feeling hearts they showed; but when We
| got out on the Beverly road, thecousin gave
us sign, aud away we wcntata rattlipg
pace; IA funeral never got over the ground
| Mt such rate before. Yet il was getting
| dark when we reached the old Minister and
the curatc grumbled at having to do dutyso
late. lie got over the service nearly is
quick rs we got over the miles. The coffin
was lowered into the family vault: it was
| EOrc than half filled with Mr.. ElswOrthys
| fOreiather's, but there was Il good wide
CRATE in the vault and no want OF air. 1t
was all right. The clerk and the clergy
man started off to their homes the MOURN
ing coaches went TO the Crown Inn, where
the ladies were TO wait till the sexton came
to let them know he was safe out-the
| cousin would not 90 home without the
news-and | slipped him the key at the
church door, as he discoursed 60 us all
about the mysterious dspensations of
| Providence.
My heart was light going home so were
Seee's and Stoneman's. None Of us liked
| the job, but We were all to be paid for it
| and must say the old man came down
handsomely with the nccdtul, not to speak
of Burton ale; and | was TO be made his
partner without delay. We got the money,
and had the jolliiication; but it wasn't
right over. and | just getting into bed,
when there was ring ut our door-bell
and the housekeeper came to say that DIR.
| Parks wanted to see me or my uncle.
What could lac want and how had he come
back so soon2 Parks was the Elsworthy's
family doctor and the only stranger Mt the
| funeral he went in the second mourning
coach, and left him talking to the sexton.
| My clothes were thrown on. and ] was
| down stairs In minute, looking rs sober
as | could; but the doctors look would
have SobCred any man. Thomas said he,
this has turned out bad business, and
cannot account for it; but Mr., Elsworthy
has died On earnest. When the sexton and
| opened the coffin we found him cold and
stiff ! think he died from fright, for such
a face of terror never saw. Ii wasn't
your unclC's fault; there Is no doubt be had
| air enough, but il can't be helped and the
less said about IL the better for all parties.
am going to DIR. Adams, 90 take him down
with me 10 Beverly. The sexton keeps
poor Elsworthy to see if anything can bc
done; and Adams Is the only man We can
trust but know it's no use"
The Doctors apprehension was well
| idunded-Mr. ElswOrthy could not be re-
covered; they laid him down again In the
coffin with alr-holes. The ladies came
back, and we kept the secret; but. in less
| than six months after, rumor went
abroad OF heavy forgeries on the North
eastern Bank. On investigation they
proved 10 be over fifty thousand, and no
body was implicated but the deceased man
ager. Ills family knew nothing about it;
| being all ladies' they were entirely igno-
rant of banking affairs; but they left York
next season, took a handsome house at
Scarborough. and were known TO get money
lregularly from London. They never em-
lployed any doctor but Parks and his
medical management did not appear to
prosper, for they We're never well, and al
ways nervous; not one of them could sleep
alone, or without light in the room; and AN
attendant from a private asylum had 10 be
got for the cousin. | don't think the mat
Ter ever left my uncle's mind he never
would undertake an odd job after IL; and
all the partnerships in England would not
\ have made me continue in the business,
and run the risk of another false funeral.