The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1866-10-12
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II SUAARONEBl OF IA LIE9CEURER. stiT
An EtFaet From the Hunior6ua I,ee.
Mse 4eIiyeFea Refore ihes yFhseiiin1lll.
II Library Association IIastiVYin1St1s ~,
thelsFat tConttibuif6E..,sf h. fTs1
For the benefit of a numerous class
4 oI anPittous mep~who aspire to be-
f!come popnlar. lecturers, I sendi Con a
tiIeW items ofymy sex perfencess i went
20 southern Illinois to get started as a
| popular lecturer. was advertised un-
ts;h,s Gs[ me s,so1s &c 1tsttts of the sFat Con-
png TO the public Being suddenly and
severely indisposed-the were indis-
posed to come to the lecture. Myan-
dlence, In fact, consisted but of one
people, He was aGentleman., I began
4 my discourse: Gentlemen and ladies )
sa 4uG changed 1t quickly to Respected
slrF BEFORE II could proceed any fur
liner, my audience arose Indignantly to
ms Ieet as one man. INQUIRED the
cause OF tie tnterruptions{ fFESSTF{
| tsSirYl lsaid+h he, stheaudiencafsd diSaap.
pointed in the size of the lecturer.'
wei, my dear sir said I, the lee
audlence. and'if You win mot m saw W anV. aVe
thing about size 1 won't.'
i, 1elatiQWed me to proceed, and, at
the conclusion, was sol well pleased
that ne urged me to stay another night,
When ne promised much larger audi
ence. He would not come himself. hut
would send his wife, who weighed two
hunoretI ana st1tyrhve pounds. I didn't
! have had good deal Of money in
the ppusen at one time and another, gen.
orally in the spockets OF some wealthy
man In the audienee.f-G a always 6onie
nome SI with money, howeyer-I borrow
q little to come home with.
Il : n have had aOTno Iorro bouoo- mi. -.
largest house ! had was at Louisville,
hentnGky:i That house must have been
two hundred feet long and ninety feet
wide, while in hight it came pretty
high-took all the proceeds to pay the
rent AA2lI9uisville editor said al good
trtbutor lectGred last night to a small
house: His style resembles Artemus
| Wards, but he has NOT the ease and
grace of Artempa bef0rea an audiences ,
As though lecturer could be at ease
before an audience when the audience
1 wouldn't pay expenses. As grace ac-
companies meat and IL there wasn't
profit enough In the, house to buy meat,
where's my gracs2iilH ~
4 nle fullest house have bad was at
Pithole City. in the OH. Regions. Every
man was full OfJbeer. The lecture went
of very we'll Notwithstanding. It
didn't go on as Well as my doorkeepeF
II gave two ,conse sechtive ilectnFes at
OIL City, AT the Conclusion Of the Sec
ond lecture, one of the first citizens
(the second of the edition had not ar
riyedD arose and asuged melthdttE i had
delig them greatly he said they
hadn't enjoyed themselves SO much
II since the ThayerS were hung. He ad-
dedJthRtitrEas the request of the audi
ence en- HldSSe-thereT were a i've 1 e5l
masses altogether-that should staY
another night. The landlord of the inn
\ where Was stopping aross.sonie eRhat
hastily, and stated that couldn't stay
another night with him unless my bill
the encouragement that genius receives
at the handSO of the mercenapy.
"A little town on the AIleghauy
turned out we'll. The principal occu-
patton Of the inhabitants was, to haul
4 oil; That being the only hall they had,
i lectured in a grocery shop. The
people turned outin most unexpect-
ed, manner; they turned out the lights
i then they TURNED out the Teeth fetL
because he wasn't fat enough. They
gave me twenty ,llninutes to leave the
towns I told lfhems IL they'd lmak6fit
twenty dollars, I'd gol
i "At the termination of the twenty
minutes felt sonnet thing come against
me very rapid from behind. d Ny first
impression was that it was an old fash
ioned leather valise. Subsequently re-
4 Election has convinced Sme that it lwasaa
boot. shook hands with them all with
much; feeling, 4 told them -theyl must
4 excuse me, forItfele that u had got to
j gol Leaving somewhat hastily, 1
caught the sound of Gherub voices in
that grocery shop, singing, in tones of
the most pathetic inquiry
i Shall never more behold thee,
Il Never hearthat winning gvOlce agRih?'&
81 yelled back that they wouldn't
4 not II / could help 1t. That winning
i voice dIdn' seem to win IN the neigh
borhoodSiiIltid yaluao2 Oh egifo&
II nave tried many agents. They
proved d.unsatisfactoryswft one, iexcep-
ton. He never asked for money. He
i never alluded to money lbut once. Said
he to me one day: ,!Yon' tlon't care fot
money, do your mo, indeed said /.
thought not said he; Il never saw
4 you have q penny II humor him in