New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1866-05-29
[Frsm the La Crosse (Wis) DemocratI
A Political Generals SnIiIOquy.

Whir-r-r!
| How like rocket went up terrifying the
| innocent.
SDQt
How like stick falling in the mud did I come
| down.
! When the late rebellion began, did not amount
| to enough to add up and give one to carry. was
| a sort of second-rate lOafer, begging tobacco
! standing around saloons and bar-rooms, waiting to
! be treated by liberal strangers. l had no clean
| stockings-no neat home-no money sayed--lo
credit-no fine food and but little coarse.
! "But suddenly star arose !" Brave men were
wanted-I had peddled whisky at the polls to elect
men on the God-andmorality, retrenchment-and-
reform.ticket-I could tell bigger lie and stick to
it closer than any hungry politician in the country
and the late administration-noble administration
| gave me rich reward. was made captain, and
like blue tailed bottle-fy, I strutted about my
native town.
stripes up my legs. Guess | didn't support the
| government. Reckon didn't get trusted to little
things at stores, and when man wouldn't trust
| me, guess wouldn't incite mobs on such copper
| heads. And was put in command of a hundred
| men. Egad that was a joke. Why, Lord bless
| you, | didn't know as much about the war as
| dog knows Of his great grandfather-but | had
political infuence-oo absorb vast quantities OF
whisky, and could steal. Or like John Brown. Or
| ike Butler. Or like any other horse robber.
| And | went to war. And | hired correspondents
| to mention my brave exploits in Republican pu-
| pers. And stole wines from hospitals, and
/ letters
which hired written and which poor fools printed
| TO political friends, And kept out of the way OF
| bullets and such-and stole piles of household
goods from rat-traps to pianos, from silk elastic
TO linen intended for infants yet unborn and so in
| the eyes Of the late administration proved my fl.
! ness for higher position.
and was made brigadier general. Big thing.
| Nearly every fool in earmy was a brigader gen.
! cral. While brave men fought, stole spoons and
such. While other men were at war, was pun.
ishing Democrats, issuing petty orders, taking
| tolp' from Union farmers, and sending chairs,
tables, beds aud bedding, pictures, books, spoons
knives and forks, nut-Crackers, glass and silver
ware, mirrors, sidebords parlor ornaments laees,
silks and ladies', underclothes stolen from private
drawers, trunks and bureaus, up North at govern
ment expense, to let people know that was say.
| ing my salary to be1utiiy my hOme.,
And l denounced Democrats, thereby winning
| promotion and good opinions from Republican pa
| pers. And spent my salary for whisky, except
| what went tor-nothing now, not much at first !
| And went on raids, capturing imaginary bands of
enemies, reported by the papers as real. And
| being an unscrupuouskn knave, intent only on money
was hired by the administration Of the late Ia
| II ented to go up aud down the land stumpng the
country for and in behalf of negroes-and abo-
tionisy5-- por mobile tratuiTa
/ And sent Democrats to the front and thew were
shot down like dogs, or dragged back wounded to
| die in hospitals. or swear allegiance to Abraham
| And siuh election returns-and | stole cotton
| wherever IL could be found mules ditto corn
| ditto government stores ditto and other tbings
ditto, till | became rich. And what lot of men
| there were who believed we were fighting to sub.
due the rebellion. That was good Joke 'Twas
merely pleasant little murderous crusade for
cotton and negroes-the cotton for the rich, the
| negroes for the poor Taxpayers to support
The war was God send to me. 1t took ne
from the gutter, or stool in some saloon ana
made great man Of me. It lifted me bv the
Wristbands right up alongside of Wellington, Ma
poieon, Alexander, Washington, jackson, Grant,
strut? And didn't / fail back on my dignity?
And dida't | snub those whose servant was and
win the contempt of every sensible man in The
land? And didn't negro wenches fall ia love with
ne? And didn't ! keep abandoned women al
headquarters, on m1ney stole from my bleeding
| country? To be sgse did.
That was the acme Of '"logaity." That was
known as Lincoln patriotism. Tia style was The
style that paid, That style made me pnp1sr win
! Aholidouis.s at home. And dldn EiTiye Suughsra
ROSTERS from watching the nest ana didat ! 90
into tbaB bHaiagss fNg gbem2 ? Aud dtda'5i 50 lnlo