Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1866-02-21

Addresses the Lebanon Law school, and
Gives HIS Own sad Experience.

Addresses the Lebanon Law school, ana
Gives his Own sad Experience.
MuLEDaEvuLE, February. 1870.
MessTs- Cummings and Others, COmmittee
GeHtteDlen-I have received your n
invitation 70 address your law skOei. In
the situation by which / am surrounded
it is impossible for me TO 20. ! wish /
could, for l would like to tell you all i
know about law, and it w0uldent take
me long. I'm now in the law bisness
myself at this place. We are engaged in
manUfakturin it by wholesale, and after
while it will be retailed out by the law
yers to any body that wants it. It's an
easy bisness to make law though some Of
the bills introduced are aWfully spelt.
To-day I saw a bill, ia which ma
sheenry" was spelt with two esses
and four ease. But the greatest diff
kuity is understandin the law after it Is
made. Among lawyers this difficulty
don't seem TO lie so much in the head, as
in the pocket. For five dollars a lawyer
can luminize some, and more akkordin
to pay. But he oughtent to luminize
but one side at a time.
The first case / ever had in a jestiee
! court, I employed old Bob Liggins, who
was a sorter Of a self-educated fool. l
give him two dollars in advance, and he
argued the case, as l thought, on two
sides, and was more luminous agin me
I than for me. / lost the case, and found
out afterwaTs that the defendent had m
/ ployed Liggins after I did, and gave him
i've dollars TO lose my case. Hook upon
this as a warnin to all clients, to pay big
fees and keep your lawyer out Of temp
tation.
NV experience in litigation have not
been satisfactory. l sued Sugar Black
ID II L--Hn La
said he wanted 70 buy some ruffness, and
I agreed TO bring him a load of shuks for
too dollars. Ny wagin got broke and he
got tired g waitin, and sent out after the
shGks hisself. When [ called on him for
the pay be seemed surprised, and sed Il
had cost him too dollars and "A half 70
have the shuks hAuld, and that l testify
OVID him a half a dollar. He was bigger
than 1 was, so l swallerd my bile
and sued him. His lawyer pied
a set of for haulin. He pied that
the shuks was unsound that they were
bard by limitations; that they dident
agree with his COW, and that he never
got any shuks from me. He ~spOkeabout
an hour, and allooded to me As q swind-
Ter about IS times. The bedevild jury
went out and brought in a verdik again
me for fifty cents and four dollars for
] Ah4H@ va IAAeH a AAAA Ar -
on my plantation since, and | don't in
tend 20 until it gifts less expensive. 1
look upon this as a warnin to all folks
never to 90 to law about shuks, or any
other small circumstance.
The next trouble / had Wus with a fell
Ter who l hired to dig me a well. He
WIS % dig il for twenty dollars and l
WIS 20 pay him in meat and meal, and
SIGH like. The yagsbond Kept gittin
along until he got all the pay, buthadn't
dug nary foot in the grown. So I made
out my akkOunt, and sued him asfOlers,
TO wit:
Old John Hanks to BIZ APP Dr.
To- wei you Cident dig----- SO.
Well, Hanks he hired a cheap lawyer,
who rard round extensively, and sed q
heap of funny things at my expense, and
finally dismissed my ease for what he
called its " ridikulum absurdum.n l
paid those costs, and went home a sadder
and a wiser man. / pulled down my lit
| tie cabin, and moved it some 300 yards
higher 70 the spring, and Ive drunk nifty
little vel ate since L look upon this
case as a warnin TO all folks, 53ercr to pay
for aattalg tn you'Ce got II, especially il
Il hns 10 b. dug.
The next law case I had I gained il all
by myself by the force Of circumstances.
I bought a mans note that was given
for the hire OF a niger boy, Dix. Find
60 be w%ouldent pay me, I sued him be
fore old Squire McGinnis, beisevin il
was such q dead thing that the devil
! confident keep me out Of q verdik. The
feIIer's attorney plead failure Of consid-
Grafton, and non est C1Etunl, and igpis
.fGtJ5s, and infancy, and that the nigger's
name wasent DIX, but Richard. The
old Squire was q powerful secesh, and
hated the Yankees amazin. So, after
the lawyerhad got through his speech snd
finished up his readin from a book called
"Greenleaf,n rose forward to an attitoOC.
Stretchin forth my arm, ses I, esquire
M'Giunis, I would ask, sur, ifthis isa time
in the history o -four afflicted country when
Federal law books should be admitted in
d Southern patriots court? Haven't we
seceeded for ever from their foul dOmina-
tiOn2 Don't our flag wave over Fort
Sumter, and what, sur. have we got 10
do with Northern laws? On the very
first page of the genteman's book I seed
the name CT the city of Bosting. Yes,
sur, it was written in Bosting, published
in Bosting and sold in Bosting, where
they don't know no more about the hire
Of a Niger than an * knows the man
who viii tan his hide" 7 sedsome more
things that was pinted andpatriotik. and
closed my argument by handin the book
to the squire. He put on bis spectakles,
and after lookin at the book about a
minet, ses he:
"Nr. Arp, you can have a Judgment,
and I hone that heuCefcrth and for ever.
no lawyer will persoom to come before
this honorable court with pisen doku-
meuts to prove his ease. If he do, this
court viii take it as a insult, and send
him TO jail.n
I look upon this ease as a warnin tol
all folks who gamble in law, TO hold a
good hand and play Il well. High les
tee and patriotism are wiDnin tFumps.
After this I had q difficulty with q man
by the name OF koheu, and I thought 1
wouldent 90 to law, but would arbytrate.
I had bought Tom Swiliius wheat at a
dollar a bushel if he geoUIGcBt do ana
better, and il he could do better he was
70 come back and qige me the preference.
The skamp went off and sold the wheat
70 koheB for a dollar and five cents, and
kohen knOwd al about his contrakt with
nae.
Ne and him ike to have fit, and per-
haps would if l hadeut been punv: but
we finally left it all 10 Josh BlIius TO ar
bytrate. Old Josh deliberated on the
thing for three days and nights, and
finally bTot in an award that kOhen
should have the wheat, and I sh0nld
hare The preference. [ haint submitted
10 more eases 20 arbitration since, and
my advice to all peepul is to arbytrate
HVJhin il your case Is honest, for there
amt no judge there 10 keep one man
from triCkin the other. An honest man
don't stand no chance nowhere exseppin
in a court house with a good lawyer to
back him. The motto in this case is.
never TO arbytrate nuthin but a bad case,
and take o good lawyers advice and paw
him for il before Won do that.
But 1 got Fretman-I dident. but nv
lawyer Marks did. Fretman was a nut
meg skool teacher, who had gone round
my nEborhood with his skool articles,
and I put down for Troup and Calhoun to
60, and intended to send seven or eight
more II he proved himself right. I soon
b a the little nullifer wasent be-
levin in anything, and on inquiry I found
that Nutmeg was given powerful long
receSses, and was employin his time
j q cSrryin on with a tolerabul
sized female gal that was goin TO him.
iraup said be heard the gal squeeI herself
one day, and he kuOwd Eretman was a
~gueeZin OF her. 1 don't mind our boys
-4ueezin Of the Yankee gals, but III be
CLAIMED II the Yankees shah be q squeeziu
Of ouru. So I got mad and took the
children away. At the end of the term
Fgetman sued me for eighteen dollars, aud
hired a cheap lawyer to collekt it for
him.
Before this time / had learned some
sense about q lawyer, so 1 hired a good
one, and spread my pocket-boak down
before him, and told him 10 take what
would satisfy him. And he TUX. Old
Paul DAVIS was the justice. Marks made
the openiR speech % the.effek that every
professional man ought 10 be able to IL
-~u-tcstc his trade, and he therefore pro-
posed 20 put Mr.. FREEMAN ON the stand
and speH him, This motion were fout
lard bat 1t agree with old Paul's notions
Of nigh Jestice, and says he, "NIr.
tretmGu yea VIII have to spell, sur. -
then swore him, that he would
give true evidence in this ease, and that
would spell every word In DanIWeb-
ster's spel.jn book correktly to the best
}f his knowledge and belief so help him.
saw then that he wer tremblin All
Ike q cold wet dog. ,
Says Mark, Mr.. Fretman. spell
us,I; '' wei he spelt il, putting in ola r.
md a tn and q GA and a zb, and don't
what all, and I thought be was
gone up the first pop, but Marks said it
right. He then spelt him right strait
LAa e HH