Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1866-05-10
FUN, FACTS AND FACETIE.

SALMON FISHING EXTRAORDINARY. Scotch
papers say there is excellent sport on the Earn
and the Tay. An Irish correspondent wants to
know whether the '.Tay Earn" salmon are caught
ready boiled.
Ep1rAPH ON PHYsIcIAN-He survived all
his patients
UNLAWFUL MARRIAGE.-" Is there anyper-
son you would particularly wish me to marry 2"
said a widow eXpectant to her dying spouse who
had been somewhat of tyrant in his day. Marry
the devil, if you like :? was the gruff reply. "Oh
no, my dear, retorted the wife, you know it is
not lawful to marry two brothers.
very sentimental poet. seeing the gam
bols of ass foal in a field vowed that he should
like to send the little thing as a present to his
dearest Matilda. DO, replied one OF his COM
panions, ''and tie piece of paper round its neck,
bearing this motto: When this you see, remem-
Der me.
Coop News FOR THE SPIuTUALISTs- the
English Army Estimates for this year a sum was
voted for disembodied Militia.
You CAN DO 1T WITH EASE ices The fol-
lowing ingenious enigma is inscribed under the
commandments, i'll the chancel of an old church
il England
PRsvRYPRTcTa1NvRKPTEspRcP
Only one letter is wanted to make good English of
it.
NAIO, w hat Us you SuppOSt Is lUc Itd-
that the sun goes to the South in the winter?"
We'll, don't know, massa unlass he no stand
de clemency of the Norf, and so obliged to go
to the Souf where he speriences warmer longimi-
| tude.'
| A wee bit of boy having been slightly
| classified by his mother, sat very quietly in his
! chair for some time afterward, doubt thinking
very profoundly. At last he spoke out thus
..Muzzer, wish pad get annuzzer housekeeper-
| I've got tired o seeing you round.
| LORD Chesterfield once remarked that
| even Adam, the first man, knew the value of po-
lteness, and allowed Eve to have the first bite at
the apple
RED-noses are lighthouses to warn voy-
ayers on the sea of life off the coast of Malaga, Ja
| miaca Santa Cruz and Holland.
An Irish girl was ordered to hang the
wash clothes on the no in the kitchen to dry.
Her mistress shortly after found very gentle fam
ily horse standing in the kitchen completely COW
cred with the articles that had been washed that
dav Upon interrogating the girl the reply was,
s'Och, to be sure, ye told me to hang the clothes
upon the hourse in the kitchen, and the baste is
the kindest ever saw, sure
Why is the human windpipe like the
Pope's anathema? Because it is & neck's COM
muncation (an excommunication)
"IF an earthquake were to engulf En-
: gland tomorrow" said Jerrold, 'the English
would manage to meet and dine somewhere among
the rubbish just to celegrate the event"
AN honest Philadelphia German got ex-
cited over an account of an elopement of mar
ried woman and exclaimed, IF my wife runs away
NIT anoder mans wife, will shake him out of her
= preeches, if she be mine fadder, mine Got
. ByRoy had his hands full when he had
/ this adventure:
l. % stood in Venice on the bridge of Signs,
palace and prison on each hand
-, WRITTEN AFTER GOING TO LAW.
The law they say, great Natures chain connects,
s That causes ever must produce effects
9 In me behold reversed great Natures laws.
i All my effects lost by single cause.
A German being required to give a re.
: ceipt in full, after much mental effort produced
# following Il ish full, wants no more monish
John Swachammer
> WHAT stone should have been placed at
- the gate of Eden after the pusions-Adamantlne
+ Adam amt in).