The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1866-09-14
NUMBER ss.
SPARE LINES.

What goes most against farmers grain1
His rcaping machine.
: When b . blow from q lsdy veicotnsf
When she strikes you asreeably.
Ladies and gentlemen dancing upon tho
green swsrd arc srasshoppen. " .
Why can !, be proved that the land OF us
was cold clims,e' Ass. Because Job 'ad
three eovyoHas!.
Jones, directing Browns attcn.ion'o tho
aashy squipsso Of noted com doctor, was
answered By his friend that Il was m l'lus-
tra,ed aditiou Of Bunyan's Progress"
The man in jail who looked out Of tho
window Of his cell and exclaimed, "Th,S
is crate country" !" Is now generally ad-
mit,ed to have spoken within bounds.
q" Tommy, son" said fond mother, "do
you say your prayers night and moFn'ns'
ayes ttnf \ nights; ban my snart boy
can take care Of fhimsclfin tho day time.
A man who hsd been fined several
weeks in succession for getting drunk
cody proposed to the Magistrate that ho
should take him by the year at reduced
rate. ''-,;T1 IL LtIT III
another can 60 and have my daguerco.
typo taken." No, I guess It isn't worth
while."-"well, then you might let me 80
and have tool, pulled, I never 80 any
where" '"'-' 80
-Spodges-the libenlty Of whose views
generally Il well khown-says that he now
believes there are two things destined TO bc
cternally lost-his umbrella and tho man
who stole i. nc" a-a ,%c :! 9
"Do you consider larger beer intoxi-
cating7" svcll, ash for dat, ! can't zay.
,rink feeAy to scexty classes . tay, and Il
tosh not hur mo but don't know how il
would pc II man wash to make hog OF
hisselc" . ..r.l ....-
A large per cent, Of the mistakes NOR
tails make, is because they act directly oppo-
site to what the experience Of the elder part
Of the rncc say is bcst.-Therc Is not sin
committed that pepon Of experience and
years would not, II consulted, speak against.
As prisoners In castles hook out Of
their grated windows at the smiling lands
cape whore tho sun comes and goes, 90 from
this life as from dungeon bans, we look forth
10 tho heavenly land, and are refreshed with
visions Of the home that shall be ours when
we arc free. ". .'
A German minister was walking in
procession at tho head Of his parishioncrs
over cultivated fields in order to procure a
blessing upon tho crops. When he oame
to one Of funpromising appearance he would
pass on, saying, "Herc prayers and singing
will avail nothing this must have manure"
One day tho philosopher Bias found
himself in the same vessel with crowd Of
sorry scoundrels A tempest camo on, upd
instantly the whole band began to invoke
tho succor Of tho gods. "Be quiet you
wrctches," said the sage "if the gods
perceive that you arc here, wo arc gone"
When death comes we walk down
in the valley Of the shadows, knowing that
we shall ind there the shining footprints Of
tho Saviour, and confident that in duo time
the morning light Of the resurrection will
break upon the spirit, and we shall bc with
God forever. .ur..t,.r..
A coarse ilI.nauircd fellow died ono
day, and his friends assembled at his funer.
al, but no one had a good word to say
abou, the deceased. Even at bc grave all
wcro silent At length. a eood.heancd
German, as ho turned to 81 Home, said -
ayell, he vas goot schmoker' sal