The Hancock Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Ohio) 1857-1870, 1866-02-16

soap -suds, that they certainly might
be clean, and put them into the tea
kettle, because they would boil quick
er.
The steam was frizzling in the fry.
ing pan, and he was proceeding,to
set the table, when the bell rang.
fIe caught up the pan from the
fre--to keep it from burning--and
made haste TO the front door Then
he remembered it would not be just
the thing to go to the door with a
irying-pan in his had, so lac deposi
ted it on the parlor sofa, and answer
ed the ring.
Mrs DR.. Nudge was on the steps,
dressed in all her best.
"Yes, | dare say" stammered
Keith, "my wife is absent, and 1 an,
laying Bridget. Walk in
Mrs. Nudge sailed into the parlor,
which was darkened to exclude the
sun, and without stopping TO look at
her seat, sunk into the frying pan on
the sofa.
"Jupiterr' cried Mr.. Keith, "you
have done it now"
Mrs. Nudge sprang up; the grease
dripping from the rich silk ON the
carpet. Her face grew dark. She
was tempted to say something cut
ting, but managed to control herself
bowed haughtily, and swept out oil
the house.
Keith returned to the kitchen lit
tie crestlallen, for Mrs Nudge was q
lady before whom he desired to ap
pear particularly we'll
There was a tremendous cracking
in the oven. lie thought Of his pud
ding, and looked in. The burnt rice
had hoped all over the oven; the
, basin had melted apart, and the pud
ding was not dono. lie shut the door
! upon the ruins in disgust, and looked
after his potatoes, only to find them
boiled to a perfect jelly.
And Just as he had made the dis
covery there was sharp peal ut th'
door bell.
Creation there's that abomina
BILE bell again. | wish folks woult
stay at home I'll lock all the doors
- aud cut all the bell wires, after to
day"
At the door he found Mr. and Mrs
. Fidget and their children.
e "My dear Mr.. Keith how do yo,
q do" cried Mrs. Fidget.. 1--WE wcr
in town, and thought we'd just step i
h to dinner. Where is Mrs. Keithr"
{ "She's gone away said kcit!
t ruefully, wondering what he shoul'
feed on; "walk in, do. l am house
Il keeper to-day"
L eyes, so / should judge. But c
t, course you make a splendid one.
d remember you used to be frequentl
0 telling Mrs. Keith and myself no
very easy housekeeping must be. ]
d must be mere play To you. Don
n put yourself ouG, l beg"
"Put myself, indeed" cried Keltl
c retreating to the kitchen. 5000
o gracious! what shall do2 I'd civ
: a hundred dollars if Mary was onl
o here! Where shall begin p
d He drew out the table, and set
r without any cloth; then took oil th
n plates and put on cloth, the yer
S one he had wiped the dishes on. Th
1t task completed, he put on some MOI
il potatoes and some more steak, burr
e ed the steak to Il cinder; took OIL hi
h.! potatoes when he did his meat, an
/! put all upon the table. There was
! loaf Of bakers bread in the cupboard
o he paradcd that, and called his guest
:, TO dinner
II A quizzical smile spread over Mr.
S Fidgets face at the sight of the n
/ past. Keith was in cold persyiri
i tion.
c ma, my plates all greasy, an
SOS my knie can't eat on dirt
:. dishes, cried little Johnny EIdget.
l. And my fork is wet all over wit
d water that's dropping OF the table
S cloth; and my tater ainL hall Jiled,
| cried little Jane Fidgct.
/ A slight noise ia tie kitchen Dire
l. the attention OF Mr. Keith.
"Jnpitc. - he c..ed, "if Air
d o Flaherty's dog ain I making o
y with my steak y
II He jumped from the table an
e started in hot pursuit. The DO
made the best OF ~ keith's unaccn'
+, toned attire was a sad drawback, an
Il he made but little Roadway.
"Kill him." he yelled to the crow
that joined in the pursuit; 81 II Civ
" fifteen dollars for his hide"
It Mrs. O'Flaherty herself appeare
on the scene with Il skillet Of he
Il water.
e Tech him if yer dare!' she crieC
e "I'll break the bones Of every mott
, er 5 son ofyees. Stand from fornins
or yen rue the day
c Keith took step forward, steppe
on his skirt, and pitched head tr'
=, into a wine cellar, where half a doze
C men were playing cards.
y "The devil in pettlcuats!" eXclain
e ed one gamester, and the place emf
&c tied quicker than wink.
The police picked up Mr., heitl
d considerably bruised, and carrie
d him home. His company had take
n their departure, and somebody NJ
o having the fear OF the law upon then
d had entered and stolen a hundre
= dollars worth of property
< Mr.. Keith sent the following not
Of to his wife by the evening mail;
DRAR MARY:--COme home; ! giN
G, up beat. A woman does have II grei