Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1866-02-15

time for that BY this eccentric method the
clergyman succeeded in breaking up bad bab-
it, which had resisted all legitimate appeals.
A FEW nights ago Mr.. BOdkin-whO had
been cut taking his glass and Pipe--on going
home late, he borrowed an umbrella; and when
when bis wifes tongue was l1osened, he sat up
in bed, and suddenly spread the paraehute.-
What are You going to do with that thing p
said she. why, my dear expected very
severe storm tonight, and so came prepared. y
In less than twenty minutes Mrs. Bodkin was
fast asleep.
r ED-HoT NosE.--As Father Taylor was Civ
ing a temperance address in Rocky Hill meet
ing-house, certain drunkard was so much
offended with his severe but truthful remarks
that be rose up and began to hiss the speaker.
Instantly after Taylor turned the attention Of
the large audience to the insolent rowdy, and
then foreibly said, as he pointed to his victim :
There's red-hot nose got into cold water :
don't you hear it hiss p
WIEN our little Clara was about FIVE years
old, she was taken up stairs to see little sister,
who was dead when only few hours old
She had many questions to ask how it came to
die, &C., but received no satisfactory answer (;
at length, she said, " 1 have made up my mind
what allied that baby-it died of youngness|
THE turkey burst its confinement while roast
ing, and the stufing escaped, to the terror Of
the Hibernian damsel left to watch it, who ran
to call her mistress. "Ma'm," she screamed
"come down and see the turkey: tits brownin
nicely, but some of the consalements is Dustin
out r....
"PA," saba little boy to his father, has
ma got bees in her mouth p "No, my son,
why do you ask2' cause Captain Jones
caught hold of her and said he was going to
snatch the honey from her lips p and she said
"WeI, make haste, .
An old woman was complaining few days
since, in the market, of the excessive high price
ofproyisions. 1T is not meat only that is so
enormously dear" said she, " but l cannot OBJ
tain -four for pudding for less than double the
usual price, and they DO not make eggs haJ' so
large as they used 70 Der
AIITTLE girl was lately reprOved for play
ing out Of doors with boys, and informed that
being seven years old, she was too big for
that now" But with an acknowledgements
she replied; "Why, grandma, the bigger we
grow, the better we like EN-. Grandma took
time to reflect.
AN editor describing the doings of mad
dog, says: Gle bit the COW in the tail which
has since died. This was very unfortunate
for the tail but We naturally feel some inter
est TO know what became Of the cow.
CoSvERsING one day with fashionable and
pretty belle, the faeetious Mr.. Spriggs observed
that ladies that lisped wished to be kissed"
The young lady had before been speaking un-
afectedly, but now replied, "thO I've heard
Hay,"
wuES Rachael French tragediennel saw
her stout sister, Sarah dressed for the part Of
a shepherdess, her comment was, {" Sarah, dear,
you look like shepherdess who had justdined
on her flock
"CAN you inform me, said student to a
bookseller, whether can find anywhere
biography Of Pollock ?" Yes, said the book
seller, dare say you'll find it in the course
cftime -
"A MAX who'll maIciously set fire to a
barn,' said Mr. Slow, and burn up twenty
cows, ought to he kicked to death by "a jackass,
and III like to do it"
A REvIvAIIsT, looking for recruits, found
large sized African and asked him. Have
you found the Lord 2" L Golly. master. is
De Lord lost p said Sambo.
HUsBAND,' said an eSasperated wife, 8" I
can't express my detestation Of your conduct
well dear, I'm very glad you can't was
tho cool reply.
SWELL, where shall wegoto church to-day"
Don't know, Dick: suppose we go to hear
Ward Beecher?" "What on Sundayg'
OSE Of the saddest descriptions one can give
Of a household is, that the master Of it " gene
rally goes out Of an evening
PRENTICE thinks there's no other dust 50
binding as gold dust