Clarksville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1865-1867, 1866-08-03

Why does an angry man resemble lady
in full dress? Becausc be Is very much ruff
fled. -fta sEt8f
A child thus defines gossip: tits when
nobody doas do nothing, and sstsebody
goes and tells Of is.p e-,.ass-sr.-s
A sentimental old bachelor says wumAn's
heart is the "sweetest' thing in the world, in
fact perfect honey-comb, full Of sells. Bse-
ware.
A STAMr DEcIsIoE.--If you pay debt Of
over $40 with q check, and take receipt
for IT, fhe check and receipt must both b
stamped.
An unfortunate Kentucky editor thus ad-
DR. sses his delinquent Subscribers.
"Friends, we are pcuuilsss. Jobs turkey
was q millionaire compared with our do
pressed treasury. To-day, II the price Of salt
was two cents : barrel, we could not buy
enough 70 pickle a jay bird" sa4 49,
A lady thus addressed her servant in the
presence Of fashionable partyi
"Msry relieve that lumiunry Of the Eu7crs
Incumbent dross that bears upon H. ff
"Ma'am y said Mary, confused a. 70 what
her mistress could mesn. ,R Hilefs ~
"Take," said the lady, from that lumiuous
body the superintendent weight Of uucou-
sumed carbon" p
saia'am2" repeated Mary. lsrsT -
''Snuf that candle, yUi huzsy, your cxs
claimed the lady In haste.
BLApKBERRy CoupfAL To three pounds
of ripe blackberries add ono pound Of whiis
sugar; let them stand twelve hours, then press
AL. a.. 49, =
full of finely powdered allspice. Itisat once
it for use. Our native grape makes The best
Of wine, and is easily made. Try u.
BLAcxpERRy wMK.-To make . wtne
equal In value 10 Port, t,ke ripe blackbef-
ries or dewberrieA press the juice from them,
let It stand thirty-six hours TO icsnent light.
ly covered, skim OF whatever rises 10 che
top; then to every gallon Of .juice edd ons
quart Of water and three pounds of sugar,
drown will do). LEI Il stand ia an open ves-
sci for tsenty-four hours, skim and stsaiR ",
then barrel it, let it stand eight OF nine
months, when il should be racksd OF and
bottled and corked close--age improves IL
Where is heaven? Plato points 10 tho
snowy summit Of cold Olympus, and says, II
Is there; Swedenbork beholds spiritual pres
ences in all spaces, and says, IL is everywhere;
Wordsworth liycs again, through the youth,
and replies "Heaven lies above ~ In our
fancy" ltaHa 1af b. sEyu III
Sage, theologisn and poeti ! turn from
all and ask the little blind girl, and shs re.
plies, "Heaven is where God is." "i..H si1a
4 A retiring Western editor Gays atbat an e
vanity" From the hcu, be started bis paper
10 the present time he has been solicited 70 lie
upon every given subject, and cant reneui>
her eser having told . wholesoms Truth
without diminishing his subscription list or
making an enemy. Under these circumstan-
J ces Of trial. aud having thorough coutemps
for himself he retires In order to recssit bic
moral constitution. ''
The Quincy Herald Of the 18th ult, says !:
"While the boat was lying At our leres, just
ready to start, young man came on board
leading blushing damsel by the hand, and,
approaching the clerk, In suppressed v0ics,
said--T say, me and my wife has jast got
married, and I'm looking for accommoda-
tions.' looking fora bcrthr hastily In
quired the clerk-passing tickets b another
passenger. "A birth7 Thunder and light
ming, nor gasped the young man, 'we aint
but Just got married We want place 10
stay all night you know, and bed"
! ~ Know HES THERB."--The Syracus IN
\ W Courier tells this story: 's. ''i-.si. -
"How did you like Ssward's Auburn
speech 2" said Democrat to Gardner, yes
terday. '0h, very WELL" says Gardner.
"But,' says the Democrat, "don't you see be
5 commences by assault our party?' "Yes,''
: said Gardner "but ! am like the boy who
a