Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1866-11-29

And reaching down,
Lead to the
Thy child.
The jug.
A young lady who was firm advocate of
total abstinence, when riding from her
fathers country-seat to neighboring Will
age. met a young man on foot who was
carrying suspicious looking jug She at
once reined in her horse and asked him
what he had in his jug, Looking up
with comical leer, he simply winked one
eye and smacked mis- lips, to indicate
that it contained something good. The
young lady, supposing he meant alcohol,
Immediately began to talk temperance ; but
her auditor requested the privilege of first
asking her just one little simple question.
ssWhat is it?' she inquired. ut is this"
he replied why is my jug like your sid
saddle?" She could not tell. '.lt's be-
cause it holds gallon" said he. "What
trifing!p' exclaimed the indignant young
lady, and then continued, Young man,
you do not perceive just one more
question:" interrupted her auditor, 'and
then I'm done Why is my jug also like
the assembly-room of female seminary at
roll CALI" '.Pm sure [ don't know" pet
ulantly replied the young lady. well,
it's because it's full O lasses," said the in
corrigible auditor. The fair lecturer
touched her spirited horse with the whip,
and was soon out of hearing of the rude
young mans laughter.
A PUZZLED DARKEY. "A Southern corr
respondent relates the following, and calls
it a true yarn:
A good story is told of scene which
lately took place between freedman and
Dutch lieutenant who was acting In the
capacity of provost marshal. 1t seems
that the Teuton officer, representing the
majesty of the United States, keeps on
hand, in order to make his office pay,
small stock of tobacco and ginger-cakes to
sell to the freedmen One day strapping
darkey poked his head in at the door and
asked:
"Whar is de massa provost" 9
''Vell, vat you vant?" demanded the
Dutch lieutenant
"Well, [ quit working down dar on dat
place." said Cuffee
'And vot tie twyfl you quits?' enquired
the officer.
'sWhy, you see, massa, dey's onny glib
me one-eight oh de corn, and ober on de
odder place dar, dey GIBBS one-sixteenth.'
''Come in here, you tam black skim"
said the officer. tNow you buys these two
shinger-cakes for twenty-five cents, and
Eat is sheap
| Cuhee pays down the quarter.
.'Vell, now, look here nit you, "contiu-
ued the officer. Il cuts dis shinger-cake
in eight pieces: you see dat?'
Eyes, sah," replied the darkey, with
broad grin.
"Vell, den, 1 cuts this oder singer
cake in sixteen pieces: you see dat?'
eyes, sab"
"Vell, den, you tam fool, you goes back
to your place for you re von-eighth is
more better zan re von-sixteenth.
Cuffee left, apparently satisfied, but
still evidently very much perplexed in
Teutonic arithmetic.
PA, do guns have legs?'' '.No, my
cnllu. w ell, then, pa, now 90 tney
kick?" "With their breeches, my son."
How to cultivate presence of mind is q
question often asked and seldom answered,
but the Washington Star suggests, as a
means of ascertaining mans resources
in case of emergency, that a vicious
dog be SET upon him..
The wooden shoes worn by the peasants
of both sexes in Belgium are purchased at
frou four to seven cents pair, and never
wear out
Baron Rothschild once complained to
Lord Brougham of the hardship Of not be-
! ing allowed to take his seat in Parliament
You know" said he, II was the choice
of the people," To which the Ex-Chan-
cellor, with his usual causticity, replied,
80 was Barabbas."