The Evansville journal. [volume] (Evansville, Ind.) 1866-1870, 1866-12-20
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Rules for C0urIpg.d,9
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n9va7BX JOHN rQUJLLo nsd, 10

gIEaHf sG9VeIo Il - 4AAo nBat 10
j. I'd .as3.t3 99liaU STTI TO e5snsS adt ina.
/ b. Having had much experiences the
i science OF courtings Ihave.determiHed,
herewith to . lay odoWn,ssomeudefaite
rules fore the guidance iof mpyoang
friends You see, i had a good fnany
unsuccessful courts before II metAny
present wifeazthe females whom [
loved having gone efnphatically back
\ ON me. But Bless you, q did it harm
| me? No. it didn't; was benefited
thereby. and when l met ny present
Hove, / knew the ropes, and gathering
/ up my affections, made one fell swoop
on Sally's heart, and the door thereof
| banged wide open and let me in. /
viii give you the rules, and shed the
sunny light of illustration upon them
from my own life. 'oi ~ 20 y,
1st.. Never 60 counting the girls pa
rents. You'd better edge up to the
.charmer herself at once, for you can t
marry her, ifyou try, unless she wants
/, you, and you, may be able, to even. if
the old folks are hard on you,
T. 3 This is the policy pursued by my
self in my last successful attemptg
H. 2. By all means get the girls ma as
much down on YOU as you Gan, IF
the old lady is always a blowing
/ against you, the little dear begins to
take your part, and can't helpaloving
| you.ii 30 ssszem sd 20 a90d3 oal 81
4 did this, way and my present
mother-in law used to throw brooms
/ and wash boards at ms. and teach the
doc, to bite me IN the !, tHowsersF as |
climbed over The fence -,
r. N. b. She's got over it now, and
lives atlimy house without paying
board, ra IF remorse testers in her soul
/ in consequence of her conduct, how
ever, / haven't noticed 1T yet. q.
g. If you see any other fellows
prowling around, alwayszeuchre them
if you cam IF you see one of them
buying tickets for the opera, go right
up and make an engagement with the
girl and get your tickets afterwards.
And when they visit the house always
act as if yeuwere at homes and they
were only visitors, g and neuerg leave
first, -. 10. /
I always did this, and have fire.
bquently sat until daybreak, white the
fair one snored away on the sofa.
You CANT bluff me- Me- Sir, Ha /
hal | guess not. / would have been.
there yet, if the fellow had stayed.
'4th IF the old man has worldly
wealth, express aodislike TO green
backs. and a laundering after love in.
small house. ~, - go -,
9Th. If you are alone in the parlor,
you may sometimes try whether your
arm fits we'll onnher waist. nsai p"
I tried this once and called forth a
piercing scream, which induced her
heavy father and two brothers to
chuck me down the front steps. So
be careful. 8, - - -, Ian
7th. When you inquire if she viii
have you, don t fall on your knees
it's ridiculous, besides being rough on
.trowsers. Just take her hand and
speak out like a man.. iuoastW .aoli
ii I behaved similarly to this to a fe-
male, and said" Will you be, mine7''
She. replied rather abruptly mot
much, / WON'T It is likely q she
would have been, a little, but i didn't
care about pursuing the subject
further. 'i''i-s.' e
ii z. When you are engaged, don't go
off like an old jackass, and begin buy
ing teaspoons, and wash boilers, and
candles. 1t is unwise and excites
Why, / recollect, 1 was SO glad that
went right off and purchased
baby jumper and a gum ring. 1t was
long, long while ere those things
were necessary, and the baby jumper
had shrnnk so that when we put the
frst,of the little Quilts into it, it sud-
denly jerked up, and came frightfully
brains out against the ceiling, while
the gum ring having been kept in a
box with cockroach poison, threw the
baby into fits, and he had spasms in
the crib for four days. 1t was fright
full. ~ .i5f9 ni'@ A'''''' -'
18th. If a girl refuses you, don't give
itaup, but try it again. Because two
negatives make an affirmative ingram
mar; however, don't consider yourself
accepted when girl jilts you twice.
asked one famale forty-one times,
and at last she got to expect it when
ever | came, and sometimes would
hollow out, mol" from the top Of
the stairs before [ had got fairly in
the house. This is unusual, let me
here remark. sdi ia snos 10 ooi
9th, Kiss, all the little children In
house, even if they are dirty, and do /.
smear molasses candy through your
hair. Let the boys play horse with
you, and make fool of you generally
This always works. It's trump card,
if you play it right. ii. 80
10th, and finally. If. there are two
sisters, and the old one is jealous, get
some of your friends to choke her off,
while you go in for the younger. :.
/ did that once, and used to get my
friend to ask the senior girl out every
evening, but she found me out, and
used to arrange hair pins in the sofa
cushions before she went out, so that
it was extremely uncomfortab <oa
Thus it will be seen that, when
counting is alluded to. 7 am right |