Des Arc citizen., 1866-06-30


 When any one would call out "John Brown" he'd go for horse surel And so we had to change his name. What to call the cuss we didn't know But as he had chawed up so many books, and was always meddling with what was none of his business, and grew to be sort of dog. matic, and radical about his bloody jaws, we left off calling him John Brown, and called him Charles Sumner. For while he seemed to like it He was an ambi- tious dorg. and to keep his name good, meddled with so much that was none ofhis business, that at last he got dog goned caning which so affected his back bone that we had to send for Anna Dickinson After she strengthened hisspinal vertebrm he howled and ranted around so, we had to change his name again.
 So we called him General Curtis. And that seemed to please him nightly. He'd stand on his hind legs, poke the hair out of his eyes, and when he went out doors, strut about as though he was going to fight Pea Ridge battle! And what notice he'd take of mules He became enamored of mules, and often would lead them to the outskirt- of the city and hide them in the bushes And he grew into such 8 taste for cotton.
 Never was dorg so fond of cotton Twan't safe for half the ladies when out prominading in full costume to meet the dorg in the street In fact he had such | love for cotton that it twant safe to let him walk on the street, nor stay in the sanctum nor go to any place, so we called him General Sigel. That bothered him! He had tough time of it Gracious, how he'd twist his jaws and bark And he loved to get into a dog fight, too. He'd whip any dog in the city. But it took so long to get him into fight that he was useless. You see when we wanted him to fight one dog, we would set him on anoth- CT and then he would back into the tother one, and then fight his way out But it took so long to learn his style, and then 1t twan't always convenient to get up two fights, so we changed his name again
 He grew beautiful each day In fact he was handsome cuss! And folks took so much notice of him, he forgot he was nothing but poor dorg, and he acted so that we thought best to call him General Butler.
 You never saw such change comeover any dorg. He grew cunninger and cun- ninger every day He would go to the butcher shops and rub his paws on the car cass of dead beef, and come home to make us believe that he had been fighting And as he growled so when he came and never had any cuts or wounds on him we thought he was getting to be terribly brave. But at last we found him out. And how that dog would strut! And he grew mean. He would drive small dogs away from their bone, and go to chasing kittens to some point out of harm's way
 And he would snap and snarl at women always insulting them. And he had half dozen purps he picked up around the city as mean but not as smart as he, and these pups would chase poor girls into some corner where Ben. Butler would scold at, bark at, and then after rubben his dirty nose over them, leave them with some wound upon them But when he heard a gun, Lord bless you, how he run and hold his tail close between his legs. We had lots of trouble with him, When he saw a church he wanted to go in and steal some thing
 1 And when he saw telegraph report in the | office he looked as though he wanted to change l 1t some way. The only thing he was fit for was to watch jewelry stores! Let that dog go by show window where there would be some silverware, and he'd stand there all day. And hed look into store windows and break into churches to look at the communion plates And he'd follow q funeral for miles if there was silver plate on the coffin. Most of the folks always thought he was one of the mourn CTS But when found that tue graves were dug and one day saw his kennel filled with i silver plates, screws, &c., guawad from coffin | lids, we knew what vehement mourner Ben. Butler was funeral procession just passed the door-and that is what the dog goned dog went out for so quick!
 l fany body wants red and brindlc. square jawed pet of this kind, whose keeping win moi amount to over six hundred dollars q month unless we have 10 pay his stealing we'd like to sell him. He is t sweet pet--just such q | purp as some poor man who is mol able to buy Q window curtain or book for his wife to read would want. Fl can eat horse and chase his rider up tree any day, and were it not for | his peculiarities, would be fine dog. He'll eat anything from an inkstand to linin shrt-from pound of candies to baby from q magazine to an india rubber boat, and grows handsomer every day he lives. Well sell him cheap. For particulars address with revenue stamp to prepay return postage on the dog, which is such handy thing to have 1 about.
 Your most dog goned truly
 LosT SHEEp.-A preacher of the Methodist Church was travelling in one of the back set 1 dement's. and stopped al cabin. where the old