Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1866-04-05
Odds and Ends.


Take care, when you buy, that you
are not sold
Why does a DUCK. dip its head
under water? Answer-For divers
reasons.
Man leads women to the altar, in
that act his leadership begins and
ends.
I:a man fail ont Of uindow.
what does he fall against? Against
his viii
Be true to your friends; never
speak of his faults to another to show
your own discrimination.
Why is the letter I the most blessed
of vowels? Because it is in tie
midst ofoliss. E is in Hell, and
the others are in PurgatOry.
One ofthe Boston clergynen has
requested his people TO keep an ac-
count aaf-EhRil, aal.s,a-4A=z.42za=------
shall want like amOHnt from them
for charity.
"When are you going to com
menee the pork business:' asked Z
person Of another who had Q sty or
his eve Explain yourself, SIR"
said the afflicted gentleman. ..Wuy,
! see you have your sty quite ready,
True was the reply, sand I've
one hog in my eye now
4 traveller relating his experience
in the East Indies, alluded 70 the
great number OF sePz1 1<Ssen Employed
ny Il gentleman in tlfO.E6htry. TO
take care of my pipe. said he, 4
had four servants as It POssiOle:"
"Yes; it was the duty Of the first 10
bring me tho pipe; the second filled
it; the third lighted it. And what
did the fourth do "The fourth
smoked i'll never could bear to-
baccO myself"
In the town Of, IN Connect
cut, lived an eccentric character,
Squire s., noted for his oddity
and singular speeches. The town
hearse having BY long use, GOT into 4
dilaDidated condition, it was deter
mined to get mp q subscription and
repair it. In due time the commit
tee called on s. and asked him
to subscribe for the object NO"
says the Squire, Il won't give a sim
gle cent. Twenty years ago l sub
scribed five dollars 20 build the old
thing, and neither myself nor nv
family ever had any use for it from
that dag 70 this, and l won't give
cent to repair it,
A bill introduced by Mr.. Clay had
been defeated in the Senate; Mr..
Foote of Mississippi rose in intense
excitement, and exclaimed, "AIr
President, this republic ceases to
exist by noon tomorrow. Mr.. Cor
WIN, who opposed the measure, and
was greatly rejoiced at its defeat,
gravely left his seat, and walking
over to Mr. Foote's chair, said: "MC.
Foote, did I understand you to say
that our government would expire
by noon to moFrOa?" "Yes. sif.''
..Well, now, Foote, I am deeply
grieved to hear you make such an
announcement. / have several bills
before Congress that I am exceed
ingly interested in. Now, couidn E
you. Just to crafty me, have this
Gnal end adjourned over, say Two
weeks?" FoOte was extinguished IN
the laughter that broke out from the
senators sitting near.
During a recent trial at Auburn,
the following occurred to vary y-the
monotony Of the proceedings:-
''Among the witnesses, was one, as
verdant Z specimen of humanity rs
one would wish to meet with. After
aseyere cross examination, the c0un-
sci for the government paused, snd
then putting on a look Of severity,
and an ominous shake of the head,
exclaimed: ''Mr. Witness, h&5 not an
effort been made to induce you to teu
a different story?" "A different
story from what l have told, siri''
THAT is what 1 mean" YES, sir.
several persons have tried to get me
to tell a different story from what
have told, but they couldn't" :" ''NowS
sir, upon your oath, wish to knOF
who those persons are . ,''W all, =
guess you've tried bout as hard as
emu 0f fhor1 -