North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1866-09-12
The Negro Equality Convention.

The disunion negro equality county Con-
vention held at this place on Monday of
last week was decidedly a rich affair
Had we the time and space to devote to a
critique on its proceedings we might fill
columns with an account Of its ridiculous
and farcical features, but We have neither,
and will therefore content ourselves and
readcars with few brief sketches.
After several hours of ANXIOUS counting
noses, canvassing, boring, lying and "infu-
encing" delegates by the office seekers, the
Convention of white folks, so-called, met
and organized by electing a Head Centre,
Worthy chief, King of the League" or
"Knight" of the inner circles, we couldn't
divine which. His calling the Lodge" to
order, and sundry other strange remarks
left the point in doubt. We were glad af
terwards, to learn that the squire, who by
the way is very good kind-hearted man,
had received his recent education as pre-
siding officer within the sacred precincts of
Templar's Lodge. The opinion was quite
unanimous in the convention, that he was
better qualified for measuring r. r. Wood.
with an accurately measured pole, than pre-
siding at disunion meetings.
The Secretaries of the meeting handled
the goose quilts very dexterousiy, but i.
was thought, would have managed them
more naturally. if they had been sticking
to the geese. The convention pitched in
to the Representative question, but were
taken completely by surprise when some
knowing chap among them suggested that
there was a Congressman to nomin ate.
"What, Congressman too was the eiac-
ulatioN from the Worthy chief, down.
This representative question had been
worked mp so that it had made them forget
that there was such man as U. M-rcur,
or such an Office as Congressman.
S. Leroy Tiffany, late editor of the Re-
publican and "Babe of the woods" who is
always conspicuous on great state occasions,
took an early opportunity to post himself
on the judges stand and with another equal
ly busy body poured a shower of advice
into either ear of their almost bewidered
President.
A proposition was made 10 vote by bal
lot, this was opposed by the Kennadions,
one of whom got up and charged his fellow
delegates with having been subj vcted to
Improper Influences while at the same
time they-t're Kennadian party-had it
all arranged to foist upon the convention
two bogus delegates, by which they
would secure the nomination of their
negro worshipping preacher on the first
ballot. During the voting the monument
bull Ter" sat i'll at ease, wheezlng like
stuck hog, with great drops ofsweat oozing
from bis thick greasy skin. As soon as the
announcement of bis nomination was made
he jumped up and with face as radiant with
smiles as hollow pumpkin with can
die in it, he wheezed out that he would
pay for the delegates dinners, de-
The &c" was understood by the thirsty
delegates present, to mean little some
thing that Good Templars don't take-in
puoIic. This had a most charming effect
on the delegates. Their dry tongues "and
parched throats began to water in anticipa-
tion ola few drops ofthe "good craytur'-
We noticed that they spoke up much louder
after that. This was especially noticeable
in the case of those who, when the vote
was taken to make the nomination unani
nous, voted with stentorian tones, NO!
Until this moment,J Jakey doubtless judg-
ing from himself, had thought that the
surest way to get at the hearts of men, was
through their stomachs hence the offer of
dinner &c. After hearing these loud noes,
he made break for the Bank and securing
handful of 81 90 greenbscks he spent
the rest Of the day in going around
the streets, presenting each of his dele
gates with collar note. OF course Jakey
would not use improper influences" to Sc
cure a nomination. OF course he felt very
pay-triotic just then f.; and the delegates
who took this money, must have felt "ha'd-
up. 1t is reasonable to presume that
man who pays money to Secure a nomina-
lion, at the hands of men elected to serve
the people, will ifelected himself hke mon.
ey for the passage of Tonnage Tax and R.
r. swindles.
Want of space forbids further notice of
the very interesting proceedings Of this