Public ledger. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1865-1893, 1866-10-04
ARTEMUs WARD.
His Second Letter to the London
Punch.

You'll be glad TO harn that I've made
good impression onto the mind Of the
Ian lord of the Greenlion tavern. He
made speech about me last night.
Rlsin in the bar he spoke as follers, there
being over twenty individuals present
This North American has been in
mate of my ouse over two weeks, yii he
hasn't made no attempt to scalp any
member of my family. He hasn't broken
no cups or sassers, or furnitur OF any
kind. [Hear, hear | find can trust
him with lifted candles. He eats his wit
ties with knife and fork People Of
this kind should be encurridged pro-
pose is eth. Loud 'plaws.
What could do but modestly get up
and express fervent hope that the At
lantic cable would bind the two countries
still more closely together. The Ian lord
said my speech was full of orig nality,
but his idee was the old stage coach was
more safer, and he tho'tthe people would
indorse that opinyin in doc time.
I'm getting on exceedin well in Lon
don see now, however, that made
mistake in orderin my close afore / left
home The trooth is the taller in our
little village owed me for pig, and |
didn't see any other way of getting my
pay
Ten years ago these close would no
doubt have been fash able, and perhaps
they would be ekally sim lar ten years
hens. But now they're diff 'rently. The
taller said he know'd they was all right,
because he had II brother in Wales who
kept him informed about London fashins
reg lar This was iniamns falsehood
But as the ballud says (Which | heard
gen man in a new SCOT of black close
and white kid gloves sing t'other night
Never don't let us Despise man because
he wears Raggid Coat | don't know
as we do, by the way, tho we gen rally
get out of his way pretty rapid; probly
on account Of the pity which tears our
bosoms for his unhappy condition.
This last remark is sirkastic and
witherin thrust at them blotid people
who live in gilded saloons. | tho't I'd
explain my meaning Of my remarks.
know one man-and he's man of
yarid 'complishments-who often recalls
my articles over 20 times afore he can
make anything of 'em at all Our
schoolmaster to home says it is pc
cooleraity of geneysus My wife says it
is pecoolearity of internal nonsense.
She's exceedin' practical woman. |
love her muchly, however, and humor
her little ways. It's reckless false
hood that she henpecks me, and the
young man in our naberhood who said
to me one evenin, as was mistening
my diairam with a gentle cocktail at the
village tavern-who said to me in these
very langwidge, go home, old man,
onless you desire to have another teapot
throwd at you by b. j., probably re-
grets having said so. said, Betsy
Jane is my wifes front name, gentle
youth, and permits no person to slood
TO her as B. j. outside of the family cir
Gle, OF which am it principally myself
Your otherpbservations / scorn and dis
gust, and | must polish you off He
was a ablebodied young man, and re-
moovin his coat, he inquired If | wanted
to be ground to powder. | said, Yes:
if there was powdergrindist handy,
nothing would ford me greater pleas
ure," when he struck me painful blow
into my right eye, causin me to make
rapid retreat into the fireplace hadn't
no idee that the enemy was SO well or
ganized. But rallied and went for him
in rayther vigris style, for my time of
life. His parunts lived near by, and
will simply state fifteen minutes had only
elapst after the first act, when he was
carried home on q shutter His mama
met the sollum procession at the door,
and after keerfully looking her Offspring
over, she said, My son, see how it is !
distinctualIy. You've been foolin round |
a Thrashin Masheen. You went in at
the place where they put the grain in,
cum out with the straw, and you got up |
into the thingamajig, and let the horses |
tired on you, didn't you, my SON The |
pen of no livin orthur could describe |
that disfoTtinit young mans sittywation
more clearer. But / was sorry for him,
and went and nussed him till he got !
we'll His reg'lar original father being
absent to the war, | told him I'd be a
father to him myself He smilt siekly
smile, and said I'd already been
wuss than two fathers to him.
will here obsarv that ften orter be
ailuz aNolueui eAcep III eAtrtem cases
My principle is, If a man smites me on
the rite cheek, I'll turn nay left to him,
prob'ly; but If he insinooates that my /
grandmother wasn't all right, III punch
his head. But fitein is mis- Bile bisniss, gem
rally speakin, and when any enterprisin
countFyman Of mine Gums over here to
scoop up Briton in the prize ring, I'm
allus excessively tickled when he gets