The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1866-01-31

Tie EirsDasy. i = 49,
-M1sSisa yah.v1S-ebY Rev. Mr.
Mr.. V. Green to Miss Jennie only daugh.
ter Of Alwaysin A. Hurry, Esq Of Hur.
ryup. mo Cards. E.r
Why the deuce didn't the newspaper say
"No Babiesf"- have one of those later.
esting animals 1T my house It came when
it rained, dark as pitch, and nv umbrella
at the store, no cars running. The doctor
lived five miles due West, and the nurse
six miles due East, and when get home
to the bosom of nay family the condensed
milkman was at the next door. 1t is a
funny little chip. that baby, solfcrino color
and the length Of bologna sausage. Gross!
] guess not 0, dear it commenced
chasing me do~nshe pathway Of life just
when muslin, linen, and white flannel were
tho highest they had been since Adam
built . house for, Mrs. Ewes chickens.
Doctor charged two dollars squint. four
dollars q grunt, AMI on account Of the scar
city of rain in the country, takes what is
left in mans pocket, no discount for
cash, and send bill for balance. January
LIST. "a poor little thing is that baby; a
speckso : nose like wart hsad 40 bald
as squash, and no place to hitch water.
fall; mouth just suited to come the gum
game and chew milk. Oh, crackee, you
should hear her sing. have bumped it,
stuffed ny fur cap down its throat, given
It the smoothing iron TO play with, but
that little red lump that looks as if it
couldn't hold blood enough, to keep a
nusqueto from fain,iug, persists in yelling
like thunder. 1t shows great desire to
swallow its fists; and the other, dav they
dropped down its throat, and all that pre-.
vented their going clear through, was the
crook, Of it's elbows. That stopped her
muscle, and was happy one and a half
minutes 6 Itisa pleasant thing to have a
baby in the house--one Of your belly ache
kind. Think Of the pleasures Of a father.
in dishabille, trembling in the midnight
hour, with his warm feet upon a square
yard of cold oil cloth, dropping paregoric
in Tin spoon by moonlight; somebody
humping on the door. wife of your bosom
shouting 'hurry," and the baby yelling till
the fresco drops from the ceiling. It's a
nice time to think of dress coats, pants,
ties and white kids. Shades of departed
cocktails what comfort have | lost; what
picture for an artist in plaster OF paris It's
mother says the darling is troubled with
the wind Oh the stomach; it beats all the
wind instruments you ever heard. I have
to get up in the cold while the milk warns;
it uses the bottle l have a cradle with
=. the representation Of a miraculous soothing
syrup on, the dashboard, tried to stop it's
breath the other night but it was no 60
rocked it so hard missed the stays and
set it slap clear across theroom, upsetting
jar Of preserves. 1t didn't make any
noise, then. oh, no! It's, mother says only
wait until it gets bleached, tits been vacci,
nated,) and old enough to crawl around and
feed on pins. Yes, I'm eolug to wait
Won't it be Delightfully."- John run for the
doctor, sis has fallen in the sop pail, and
is choking with potato skin; sis has fallen
down stairs, sis has swallowed tack
hammer; shows signs Of, tho humps, mea
sells, Group, hopping cough, small pox
cholic dysentery. cholera infantum, OF
some other darned thing to let the docto,
take all the money laid by for my winters
corn beef, and all this comes Of shampoo
ing and curling my hair, wearing nice
clothes looking handsome, going counting
and making my wife to fail in love and
marry me