Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1866-01-16
whar you drop it. golly they cant git over

|
The truth is, my feller-citizens, sometimes
fele like we dident hav no Government. I felt
that way sorter when Mr.. Gibson appointed me
committee on the State of the Republik. When
the Secretary read out my name all mixed up
with the Republik, felt that was obliged to re-
mig. Risin magestikully to my feet says I, s'Mr.
President beg to be respektably exkused sur, if
you please. If thar is any Republik on this side
Of Jordin can't purseve it at this time with these
! specks. 7 har was place in old Virginny called
Port Requblik but Mr.. Rebel General Stonewall
Jackson wiped out its contents generally in 1863,
and haven't sinse heard of it in Northern litera-
| ture / have heard of askrub consarn over about
Washington they call Republik, but, sure, it
Iare likely to prove The grandest imposture that
ever existed ON con tintAt of freedom. I sup
pose, sur, it are to be mo-ed to Boston or the in
fernal regions in few days and I want nuthin to
do with it. Exkuse me, sur, but must insist on
bein respekably discharged" took my seat
amid the most profoundest and tumultuous ST.
l'ence ever seed, and Mr.. Gibson remarked that he
! woudent impose the Republik no respectable
man agn his wishes. He then transferred me to
| the Finants Committee, and sed he hoped we
would take immediate action, for the State had no
money, as well as himself, and board was high
and eat setaras frequent. This may not hav been
his exaktual langwidge, but is anglin toward it.
1 how'd my head and said, "Ditto, exsep that 1
don't eat setaras.'
| Forthwith telegrafd varyous gentlemen for
| temporary loan, but they woudent lend dollar
until Mr.. Jenkins wer norgarated, for they want
| ed his name to the note. Thinks, says I, there's
tap lost about the wagin. If we are State,
we can borry money in Augusty. If we amt
State, its of business to borry it at all.
| If Andy wants to run the machine his own way,
! let him pay his own expenses. What in the dick
ems is Provision Government for, if it amt to
| get up provisions and provide for feller gener
ally. | made up my mind that perhaps we had
been humorin Andy about long enuf We had as
| much right to Governor as Alabama or South
Carolina. He wants us back about as bad as we
want to get back and q little badder perhaps;
| and he needent put on so many unnecessary airs
about this Senator bisness. If he fools with us
much, we wont elect nobody-I golly we'll take
| the studs and go backwards | forthwith re-
turned to the Capitol, and stretchn forth one of
my arms, ses I. sMr. Gibson, sur-l'm your
friend-Im the friend of your wife and children
but of Mr. jenkins amt norgarated soon the State
will collapse; bright and glorious star will be
obliteratad from off the striped rag, and the Pres
dent will lose about nine supporters in the Fed
eral Congress l move. sur, that eff we can't git
our Governor at once like sine qua ron. we break
| up in row and depart for Mexico. 1t took like
the smallpox, and were carryed tumultously.-
These proceedins were telegrafd to Washington
before the ink was dry, and We received orders
forthwith to n0rgerate our Governor and roll on
our cart. Then the money came, and we voted
ourselves pocketful apiece, and took a furlo.
! My friends, that proud and glorious day.
| When that great and good man maxim his af-
fectn speech, we all felt happy; and Capen Dodds,
the member from Polk remarked that he would
like to die then, for he expected to feel as
heavenly agin. The tears run down his left eye
like rain. His other eye wur beat out by Yam
kee soldier while the Capen in prison Of
course the villen tried for it, and hung
though hain't seed no mention Of it i'll the pa
| pers. Alas poor Wirz.
My fellow citizens, let me in conelusi con-
| gratula'e you on havin a Governer more, as
is Governor Oh there is life in the old land
i yet, and by and by wei all mix up with our
friends at the North, and we'll transport them
| Black Republicans into the Afrikan desert, and
put 'em teaching the Hotentots the right of suf
| frage. Winter Davis could there find field Of
labor sufficient for the miserable remnant of his
deelinn years. If he amt The Winter of our dis
content mentioned by Mr.. Shakespeare, don't
know who he allooded to, and want to git rid Of
| him. H and his clan have done us much evil,
and am induced to exclnim, i'll the langwidgo OF
Paul about Alexander the Coppersmith. "May
! the Lord reward 'em accordin to their works.
More anonymous,
?. S.--Cousin John Thrlsher ses he have stud.
| led law a week, and will be a canydrte for sum
| high offs when meet agin, provided we give
him time TO sell his cotton seed Pl say this
art hav done as much for him as for some of the
canydates, and nature more, and his cotton seed