The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1866-08-21
NEWSPAPERIANA.

marriages, and deaths which a humorous
editor IN the West classides under the headings
of ''Hatched,o "Matcned,n and despatched"
while yet another places marriages under the
line 'Noose of the Weak.n In olden times these
were more notable as literary curosities than
at present. The first heading is but little used
in this country, being almost confined TO Europe,
although much might be said in favor of its
adoption everywhere. The second, however,
is of the most general USE but its contents have
been sadly reduced. In the childhood of news.
papers they gave us fuller information of the
bride and bridegroom than now commonly
published, and therefore saved many inquiries
For example, take a batch of marriages from a
Scotch newspaper ofl730:-
''Mr. Basket to Miss Pell, with f5OO0
"Mr. DAVIS TO Mrs. Wylde with fiOO per annum
"Ihe Lord Bishop of st Aspah to MISS Orell, with
az Whitcombe, ESQ. to Miss Allen, with 10000
19OU0" -.E
This at least showed in part the worth of the
women who had changed their state. OF similar
import are some contained in the salisbury
Journal, January 29 1888. As we read them we
cannot but think that the matrlmonIal an
nouneements now published must yield the
palm OF interest to those contained IN the early
provincial papers 1t is something to hear about
the person OF the bride, her figure, ana her Tor
tune:-
married at ST. Georges Hanover Square, -
Ayres, OF the county of Northampton, Esq to Miss
Ann Sampson, only daughter oil John sampson OF
the county OF Leicester ESQ., young lady OF $4,000
'Mr. Henry Murray, Esq young gentleman
nj ST Georges, Bloomsbury, to Mrs. Wicks, reict
of Simon Wicks ESQ., fortune OF fl2,OOO and 94O0
Lieutenant Cotton Dent, of the Royal Navy, son
of DIgby Dent, ESQ. late Commodore in the West
Indies to Miss Kitty Bowerbank, daughter of
Thomas Bowerbauk, barr k-master of Portsmouth
lady OF merit and fortune.
"Villers Fltz Gerald, Esq. to MIS- Newcomer,
eldest daughter to Colonel Newcomer, in Ireland
q most greeable young lady, with large fortune"
Sometimes our American editors travel be-
yond the record and add to the customary
announcement. Occasionally they are known
TO indulge in little pleasantly in the form
OF an epIthalamium, thereby showing their
ready wit, and acknowledging the slice of cake
A single example, for which the Boston Post
is responsible, must sufice:-
"Married-Thomas Hawk, of Mansfield, to Miss
Sarah j. Dove.
so queer kind OF love,
Oh, what a savage he must be-
10 Tommy Hdtok DoUe!
But the unctuous way III which a bachelor
editor, lately married, taks of his bliss is really
tantalizing to the inexperienced. Writing of
his newly found happiness, he says:-
"a pair ofsweet lips, q pressure two OF delicate
hands, and pink wals,-ribbon, will do as much to
unhinge a man three fevers, the measles large
sized whooping-cough, pair OF lock; jaws, several
hydrophobias and the doctors bill.
1t may appear to be almost sacrilegous even
to smile at obituary notices, but it cannot always
be resisted. A certain Philadelphia daily gives
more reason in its obituary columns for cachi.
nation than all the rest of the paper 1t is but
tair, however, to state that its notices are paid
for. Some of their verses are apparently stereo-
typed, and appear in almost every paper. Others
are unique and confessedly original. Such is
the following on the death OF child, and is a
hne specimen of bathos:-
$50 sweet flower to bloom on earth
The lose that crowned our little plot
Has withered here 10 blossom 10th
In a superior fOwer-pot.
His body lies in the Union ground
His soul has gone to HIM who gaveit;
And snall'we never hear again
The prattng of our little Jacob?"
The above, as Weller would say, ''goes from
bad to verse;" l opine that the editor who
announced that he would not publish poetical
obituaries unless paid for, while he "would be
happy at any time to publish a simple announce
ment OF the death OF any OF his friends" must
have been now and then troubled with such visi-
tations as the above.
OF course, none other but Western paper
could have given us the following III q notice of
the death OF prominent citiZen:-
"He was the lather of eleven sons, five of whom
married i've sisters. He had one hundred and
eighty-nine grandchildren; and at his fnnera, two
death Iy bees and another came very near losing
his life by the same"
Another paper in the same locality gives as
below, q wholesome specimen of an honest
obituary-something really uncommon
"He came to his death by too frequently nibbling
at the essence of the stll-worm which soon placed
HIM in a non.traveling condition He lay out the
night previous TO his death near cotton gin in this
place, and was found too late on the following
morning for medical aid to be OF much importance
in staying his breath. He has been regular uppler
for the last half century"
paragraph published in the Foxtown Fusjhe'
betrays, perhaps, little professional jealousy,
but serves as an obituary and advertisement -
"PosTsoRIPT-We stop the press, with pleasure,
10 announce the decease of our contemporary, Mr..
Snaggs, editor of the FoXtown Flash. He has now
another q IN
the FaSitieT good paper"
A fictitious notice of death sent to the editor
of the Worcester (Mass.) spy is thus served up
quite daintlly, and made 10 answer a double
purpoSe:-
"If Pratt was really dead, we should be yery
happy to write his obituary for nothing; but as we
are quite certain he is alive, and may these lines
we would respectfully suggest TO hlm that he has an
unsettled account at this Office, and that If ne has
anylserious intention OF dying, it may his con.
science little, in the last hour TO know that he has
paid the printer"
Obituary notices may be occasionally gratify-
ing to survivors, but have rarely known them
TO heve been OF much consequence to the sub
iects themselves. The Circleville (0hIo) Journal
however, thought otherwise when, as an induce.
ment to certain of its friends, 1t stated that call
subscribers paying in advance will be entitled to
tirst-rate obituary nodce in case of death.n
Another Western paper chronicling the lament
able occurrence of q staging, attached to a
church, being blown down and 'tataliy inJuring'
workman, very teelingy said:-
awe are happy to state that over twenty persons
were suddenly brought to the ground safe and one
was an estimable young man, and the father OF Q
good many children, besides large farm wei
stocked. He was fatally injured"
Upon yet another paper the pressure of death