The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1866-11-08
srraps, &arts and @anries.

Srraps, &arts and &anries.
Love is like Scotch plaid-all stuff,
and often crossed.
III ia q, curious fact that the more
cheek man has, the less he bushes.
- -Napoleon's song to the needle gun
-ssThy bright eyes haunt me STILL"
-sPatrick where's Bridget?" "In-
dhde, she is fast asleep, ma'am, looking at
the bread baking"
Why is q washerwoman the most
cruel person in the world? Because she
daily wrings.men's bosoms.
Many a sweet-fashioned mouth has
been disfgured and made hideous by the
fiery lounge within it. -
- Those who respect themselves will
be honorable; but he who thinks lightly
ofhimself will be held cheap by the world.
- The ladies sometimes get up bonnets
of diminished size, but never of diminish
ed cost.
An. arch young lady should be an
archer, for she can bend her beau as she
pleases.
-sIt is never too late to mend" as the
lady said as she sat up till midnight to
darn her husbands stockings
What are domestic magazines p
Wives who are always blowing, up their
husbands.
How happy is the elephant whose
wife, when on journey, has only one
trunk exclaims Punch.
- Why is stagnant pool of water
like q leaden image of Satan? Because
o1ie,is- 8 dead level, and the other is lead
devil. y ~
- It is better to be wise and not to
seem so, than to seem to be wise and not
besso; yet.men for the most part desire
the contrary.
- The old spinster "who could not
bear children" has got married recently,
and thinks she can. We shall see in due
time.
Calling many witnesses to prove one
fact, is like adding large quantity DIVA
ter to small glass of brandy-it weak
ems.
A Sentimental Youth: "My dear
girl, will yon share my lot for life ?''-
Practical girl: GLOW many acres are
there in your lot, sir 2"
~ -"Paddy, where's the whiskey gave
you toclean the windows with" "Oeh,
master, I Just drank it, and thought if /
breathed on the glass it would be the
samep
The schooLchildren in Massachu-
setts must be fine set of youths. The
Superintendent of Public Schools in Fall
River says that pupils often come to
Il c{o 70 If ipfOyinnfiOn
= Quilp thinks it rather remarkable
that while several thousand feet are re-
quired to made one rood, q single foot,
properly applied, is often sufficient to
make one civil.
- If you would have an idea of the
ocean in storm, just imagine ten thou
sand hills and four thousand mountains
oil drunk chasing one another over new
ly ploughed ground.
,A-- A down east editor said he was in o
boat when the wind blew hard, but he
was not at all alarmed, because he had his
life insured; s'hc never had anything hap
pen to him by which could make any mo-
ney."
- Artemus Ward boasts that his fam
ily is descended from the puritins, who
nobly fed from a land of dispitism to a
land, of freedim, where they could not on
Iy enjoy their own religion, but prevent
everybody else from enjoyin' his.
= A roaming youth, who claimed that
he had made vast deal Of money in one
part of the world and another, on being
asked what he had done with it, said he
had Invested it in houses and lots. On
further inquiry it turned out that he had
laid it out in eating houses and lots of rum.
- Whatever you do, do willingly. A
boy that is whipped at school never learns
his lessons we'll. a man that is compelled
to work, cares not how badly it is per-
formed. He that pulls off his coat cheer
fully strips off his coat in earnest, and
sings while he works, is the man for me.
= The tendency of people to carry quo
tations too far, was illustrated in a New
Haven prayer meeting the other day by
8 brother, who exclaimed in an agony of
piety-"O Lord, have mercy upon US poor
miserable sinners, of which am the chief
among ten thousand, and altogether love-
ly."
Must it not be very romantic to be |
on your knees before a lovely one ofLoye's
daughters, heaving up torrent of sweet
words between her glowing, parted lips,
raising roses on her cheeks by the acre,
bringing tears of humid pleasure to her
eyes, at the identical moment when she
is going to swoon away in your arms, to
hear her anxious mother cry, "You, Sal,
have you fed the pigs?"
Sarah Donelson, of Red Bluff, Cali
fornia, is plneky woman. She recently
had % fght With Eve armed Indians,
Knocked two down, punched third in
the head, and then retreating 10 her log
hut, used her rifle against the whole until