The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1866-11-17
TIE DAILY EVENING TE1EGRAPH-TRIPLE SHE
ARTEMUg wARp IN LONDON.

promptly. calleu CAP anu JOld t&e driver 10
run his hoss at iriteful rate of speed to my
lodgins, but II wasn't of no avale. l had orful
cramps, my apytIte lett me, and my pults went
down TO ten degrees below zero. But by care
ful nussin | shall no doubt recover speedy, if
the present sparklin and exhleratin weather
conllnners.
IAN Of the foregon is sarcasum1
It's singular fack, but | never sot eyes on
your excellent British Mooseum till the other
day. I've sent great many peple there, as also
to your GENIAL Tower OF London, however 1t
happened thusly:-When one OF nax excellent
countrymen Jest arrived in LondaHn build come
and see me and display inclnati0Kt6 Cling to me
too lengthy. thus shown respect for me which
| feel do not deserve, would suggest q visit 10
the Mooseum and Tower. The Mooseum would
ockepy him day at leest and the Tower an
other. Thus I've derived considerable peace
and comfort from them noble edidsses, and
hope they will long continner to grace your me
tropIs. There's my trend Colonel Larklns,
from Wisconsin, who / regret to saw under.
stands the Jamaica question: and wants TO talk
with me about IT.; sent him to the Tower four
days ago, and he hasn't got throogh with It vit.
He likes it very much, and he writes me that he
can't never thank me sufficient for directing him
to so interesting bildin. / writ him not To
mention it. The Colonel says it is fortnit we
live in an intellectual age which Wonldn,t
countenance such infamus things as occurd in
this Tower Pm aware that il is fashn n,ble to
compliment this age, but / amt so clear that
the Colonel Is altogether right. This is a RNNV
respectable age, but it's pretty easily rileC&N36
COuSlucIlu upon now SllgnJ q DrOVYCatiO0 We
who live in 1t 60 to cuttin each others throats
II may perhaps be doubted whether our intel
lecks is so much mass1ver than our ancestors
mtellecks was, after all.
l alters ride outside with the cabman. am
of humble parentage, but / have (if YOU permit
me TO say so) the spirit OF the eagle which
chaics when shut up in a four-Wheeler. and
feel much eagler when Pm IN the open air. SO
on the mornin on which went to the Mooseum
lit pipe, and callin cab, told the driver
TO take me there as quick as his Arabian charger
could CO. The driver was under the lnfooence
OF beer and narrerly escaped .runnin over a
aged female in the match trade, whereupon |
remonstratid with him. l said, THAT poor old
woman may be the only mother of young man
like you." Then throwing considerable pathos
into my voice, l said, You have a mother?r
another cab, but SAID nothin to this driver about
his parents.
The British Mooseum is a magnificent free
show for the people, 1t is kept open for the
The humble costymonger, who traverses the
ousy streets with cart containin all kinds of
vegetables, such as carrots, turmps, etc., and
drawn by spirited Jackass-he can 90 to the
Mooseum and reap benefits therefrom as well as
the lord of high degree,
"And this" SAID, ''is the British Mooseum
These noble walls, continnerd, punching
was all right.but wasn't alIowd to finish nv
enthusiastic remarks, for a man with gold
band on his hat said in b hash voice, that l
must stop pokln the walls. I told him would
do so by all means. ''You see," said, taking
hold OF the tassel which waved from the mans
belt, and drawn him close to me in CONT
dental way, You see, Pm looking round this
Mooseum and if | like it l shall buy it,"
lnst1d of lartn hartily at these remarks, which
was made in goakin spirit, the man frowned
darkly, and walked away.
first visited the stuffed animals, of which the
gorillers interested me most. These simple
minded monsters live in Afriky, and are believed
to be human beins to slight extent, altho' they
are not allowed to vote. In this department is
one or two superior giraHes. | never woulded
were bird, but I've sometimes wished | was
giraffe, on account of the long distance from his
mouth TO his stummuck. Hence, If he loved
beer, one mugiul would give him as much en-
joyment while goin down as forty mugfuls would
ordinary persons. And he wouldn't get intoxi-
Gated, which is a beastly way of amusin oneself
must say. like little beer now and then,
and when the teetotallers inform u.s. as they
irekently do. that it is vile stuff, and that even
the swine shrink from 1t, say that it only
shows that the swine is ass who don't know
what's good; but to pour gin and brandy down
ones throat as freely as though 1t were fresh
milk, is the most idiotic way OF gon' to the devil
that know of.
l enjoyed myself very much looking at the
Egyptian mummys, the Greek vasis, etc., but it
occurd to me there was rayther too many
Roman antiqU1tys of unce1tln date.n Now,
| like the British MoOseum, as / said afore, but
when see lot OF erthen jugs and pots stuck
up on shelves, and all 'of uncertin date" Pm
at loss to 'Zackly determin whether they are
a thousand years old or was bought recent |
can Cry like child over a Jug one thousand
years of age, especially if it is Roman Jug; but
a jug of uncertain date doesn't Overwhelm me
with emotions. Jugs and pots of a uncertn
age is doubtless vallyable property, but like the
debentures of the London, Chatham and Dover
Railway, man doesn't want too many of them
l was debarred out OF the great read-in
room. man told me must apply by letter
for admission, and that must get somebody to
testify that / WAS reSUpCtable. I'm a little jfrad
/ shan't get in there Seein elderly gentleman,
with beneverent-lookin face, near by, ven
tured to ask him if he would certify that was
respectable He said he certainly would not
but he would put me in charge of policeman,
if that would do me any good. thought
struck me. II refer you TO Mr.. Punch, :" | SAID.
WELL" said man, who had listened to my
application, you hdoe done 1T now! You stood
wretchs name before you go to press, SO you
can denounce him in the present number of
} our excellent journal.
The statute OF Apollo is pretty slick statute.
A young yeoman seemed deeply impresst with
it. He viewed it with silent admiration. At
home, in the beautiful rural distrlcks where the |
daisy sWeetly blooms, he would be swearin in |
horrible manner at his bUllocks, and whacking |
EN- over the head with haytork; but here in |
the presence OF Art, he is changed bein.
/ told the attendant that If the British nation |
would stand the expens OF marble bust OF my |
self, / would willingly sit to some talented |
sCulpist. 81 feel" ] said, that this is dooty
owe to posterity." He said it was hiy prob'i, |
but he was inclined to think that the British |
nation wouldn't care to Zurich the Mooseum |
with bust of me, altho' he Ventured to think |
hat if paid for one myself 1t Wo9Id be accepted
cheerfully by Madam Tussaud, who would give !
It a prominent position in her Chamber of Hor- |
reers. The young man was very polite, and I |
thankt him kindly.
After visitin the RefTeshmentfoom and par |
takin of half chicken "of uncertln age" ike |
The Roman sntiouitys have previsly spoken of |