Fayetteville observer. [volume] (Fayetteville, Tenn.) 1850-1966, 1866-02-08

cold, assailed by the torturingpangs
of hunger, l can never forget those
long, long, weary nights. A dull,
hopeless despair seized upon me,
and life and death were alike in
different. In the day time it was
better; some little employment
could sometimes be had to keep
away the wolf-hunger-that was
gnawing at my vitals. Yet, du.
ring all this period, like the Spar.
tan boy, l concealed my sufferinss
in my bosom, and none that met
me in the daily walks of life ever
knew of my destitute condition
I had obtained work for a few
days, and by this means put a few
dollars into my pocket, but still il
was only temporary relief; and
after the small sum was eked out
to it's utmost capacity, for bread.
then, as had happened many times
before, another period of suffering
was to come. All this had, com.
bined with past misfortunes, near
ly broke my spirit, and hope was
even departing from the horizon
of my future.
was weary of disappointment,
almost weary of life. In this un,
fortunate state of mind, re, kless
and Indifferent, | was walking one
evening along street, S.n
Frarci co, which led by a long
wharf to the waters edge. / had a
half formed idea in my head that
on reaching its termination
should have before me, at least
the means by which | could term.
mate all present sufferings. AS
recollect my feelings at that time,
do not imagine that, for a moment.
seriously contemplated suicide,
but rather that there was q GER
tain fascination and pleasure Ill
seeing the way by which mortal
troubles could be left behind. AT
that time gambling, in all its varl.
cites, was the great feature of
life in California, and its hells
wers to be seen on every hand, all
over the city; but from some in,
nate feeling of disgust more than
from reasoning, l had never gam
bled; for it always seemed to me
that a dollar obtained by lntelll-
eence OF the mind and honest la
bor, was worth tar more than
many dollars gained by mere blind
chance. | had too much conf
dence in my abilities and manhood
to stoopto the trickery of cards and
dice, for money l ought to have
the power to gain by more lntelll-
gent means.
Before reaching the end OF the
wharf, | was aroused from my rev.
erie by the confused din OF many
| voices and sounds of music, among
which above all others, arose the
sllrill screams of an ill-played clar,
ionet. Turning round, | found |
was in front of one of the vllest and
most notorious hells in the lower
part of the city, where rumor
said many crimes were committed
with impunity for justice exist,
ed but in name in tho e days, and
rogues did exactly what seemed
good to their own eyes. AS !
| gazed within the crowded room,
| remembered than an acqualht-
ance was employed as a musician
the orchestra on one side OF the
room, and governed by the lm,
pulse cf the moment, pursued
my way through the mass OF per
sons.around the table to speak to
him. After a. few moments con-
versation with the musician, ne
turned to me and said in aqulet
tone of voice:
-.Whenever you come in here,
never attempt to risk a dollar on
any game played, for not a square
game is played here; and more
than that, the aoorSt thing a man
can do Is to acin money here
Saying this he resumed his of'
cupation. Not much caring for the
information, gazed about me at
the scene, witha a still greater reck'
less depression of spirits. Vice
and virtue seemed to be mere
words without meaning; and act
uated by my weak and foolish
thoughts, the question arose in my my
hearts everything IN life mere
E1~o tIo ft,rn1u r of uIcf