Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1866-06-08

stick your legs upon your desks together,
and swap lies and vermin, and be sham
pooned at the same shop, and the fair sexes
can set together in the galleries and mix
ordours and ian their scent about promis-
cuous. Well give you full benefit of
your Civil Rights bill, see If we don't.
You 90 on-play your cards. We are bidin
our time. We are payin your taxes and
your duties and back rations for 1854, and
licenses, and your internal revenue, and
obeyin your laws without havin any
hand in maxim 'em. and we are cut
off from pensions, and public lands; and
you sold poor mans still in my coun-
ty the other day because he couldn't pay
your tax on some peach brandy he still
ed for his neighbors two years ago;
and soon you'll be selling the land for the
land tax, and you're tryin your best to play
The devil generally; but you I'll catch 1t in
the long run. See if you don't. Talk about
Fenians. When the good men of the North
and the South all get together, they'll walk
over the track so fast that you won't have
time to get out of the way. You'll subside
into obscurity, and your children will deny
that their daddies ever belonged to such a
party. Excuse me, gentlemen, but Pm a
little excited. Five cents pound on cotton
will excite anybody that makes it. Tax on
industry-on sweat and toll. Protection
tariffs for Pennsylvania and five cents a
pound tax on Southern cOtton-half It's
average wOrth-and your folks will manage
some way or other to steal the other hall.
My advice to you is to quit this toolishness
and begin to travel the only road to peace"
Old Blow couldn't keep up with his gar
bled extracts. ..A
"What makes the President so popular at
the South"
Contrast, sir-contrast. The more he
amt like your party, the more popular he
is. He would treat us about right, L reckon,
If you would let him alone, but you bedevil
him so. that sometimes he don't understand
himself. don't think he knew for a while
whether his Peace Proclamation restored
the writ OF habeas corpus or not. But do
you 90 on and impeach him, and that will
bring matters to focus. I'll bet you'd be
in Fort Delaware in week, and the South
ern members be here in their seats, and
they'll look round at the political wreck,
and ruin and plunder and stealage that's
been goin on, and they might eXclaim, in
the language OF the poet,
who's pin here since Tsh pin gomez"
"Mr. Arp, suppose we should have war
with England or France, what would the
rebels do?"
"They'd follow Gen. Lee and Gen. John
ston, aud LOngstreet, aud Bragg and old
Bory. My opinion is, that General Lee
would head the Union army, and General
Grant would be his Chief of Staff, and
General Buell. would rank mighty high,
and"
"What would you do with General Sher-
man?"
Sorry you mentioned him. We'd have
to hire him, reckon, as a camp, fiddler,
and make him sing Hail COlttRbjg' Dy fire.
light, as warnn' to the boys how mean ii
is to burn cities and towns, and make war
upon defenseless women and Children
No, sir, our boys wouldn't fight under nc
such"
At this time the man with the memoran-
DUN put down some more garbled eX-
| tracts.
"Do you think. Mr.. Arp, that If the
| South should ever hold the balance OfpOw-
er, they would demand pay for their ne
groes ?"
II can't say, sir. But l don't think the
| South has lost anything that way. We got
| their labor before the war tor their vittles
and clothes and doctors bills, and we get
| it now for about the same. It's all settled
down that way, and your Bureau couldn't
| help it. The only difference is in the distri-
we used to, but everybody has got a mig
ger or two now, and they'll all vote 'em or
turn 'em of. A nigger that wouldn't
vote as I told him, shouldn't black my
| boots"
At this time the committee looked at one
another seemin' to be bothered and aston
ished. Garbled extracts were put down
with a vim.
Mr.. Boutwell,, says he, "Mr. Chairman,
think, sir, we are about through with the
witness. | think, sir, his testimony settles
the question as to what we ought to do with
| Southern traitors"
The Chairman give me Republican nod
and remarked, "Yes, sir, | think we do
The scoundrels burnt my iron-works."
WhereupOn, retired, having given gen.
eral satisfaction.
Yours truly, BILL ARP.