The Iowa transcript. (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1858-1866, 1866-01-31


terse condemnation.
The original source Of American humor is
therefore to be looked for in such men as
Franklin. lie was the incarnation of that
popular wisdom which generates proverbs
and fables His philosophy never scars
above rather low level; it takes the form
Of very racy maxims--of the great family to
which belong the axioms about penny
saved being a penny got, and the advanta-
ges gained by being early to bed and early
to rise. A characteristic story is the one
which he told to console Jefferson for the
alterations made in the draft Of the Decla-
ration of Independence. A friend of his
had put up as a sign, neatly painted hat,
with the inscription, "John Brown, halter,
makes and repairs hats for ready money
One acquaintance suggested that the hat
was not wanted, as the inscription explains
his trade. A second observed that the re-
mark about ready money was imprudent; a
third, that as every halter made and re-
paired hats, the words after chatter
might be left and nothing substituted; and
q fourth, that every one knew that Ne was n
halter, or would see the hats in the window
50 that the inscription was reduced to ''John
Brown" Moral: don't be too sensitive to
your friends advice. The same vein Of
humor appears in the innumerable anec-
dotes about Mr.. Lincoln, who is the exact
illustration Of the great stratum of Ameri-
can society which forms the real strength OF
the nation, but is very feebly represented
by its newspapers and politicians. It is
enough to allude to one or two Of Mr.. Lin
coins well known sayings. There is the
one illustrating the difficulty of joining the
North and South-about the architect who
said that he could build bridge to the
internal regions, on which his friend re-
marked that he had "some doubts about
the abutment on the other side There
is his answer to some one who requested
him to interfere about some trifling detail,
telling how the captain Of fatboat was
asked by father to stop in the middle of q
dangerous rapid, that his little boy might
pick up an apple which he had dropped
overheard; or there is the last hint which
he gave about reconstruction in reference
to the new State government in Louisiana,
that it is better to hatch your eggs than to
break them. The sayings rightly or wrong
attributed to him, with the invariable com
mencement, 81 knew man down West"
may all be described as half baked prov
cribs. If they were q little more compressed.
and had rather wider application, they
might easily become proverbial, and would
contain philosophy very superior to Mr..
Tuppcrs. They excellently represent the
peculiar national humor, az, indeed, many
Of them were no doubt sayings at large upon
society, to which Mr.. Lincoln was forced
to act as sponsor.
ARTEMus WARD is, on the whole, the best
specimen Of the last crop Of humorists He
it is true, owes something to his system of
| spelling, which is small enough form of
wit. There isn't very much fun in writing
henc4th," or in putting ''goakin" for
joking. Eccentric spelling is rs necessary
in the Below PAPERS as it is in BUNS,
because it is genuine attempt to give the
dialect of the country. Every humorist
necessarily loses great deal by not being
able to represent the peculiar nasal drawl,
which seems to correspond to the mental
attitude of the speaker. Many of the most
excellent sayings in all conversation won't
keep. Deprived Of the manner, and of the
dramatic dialogue which explains them at
retain their brilliancy in a dry state. The
spelling which represents the original pro-
nunication is therefore fair expcdient !;
but the arbitrary blunders, such as quot
ing j" IIamlet's Soliloquy,' 90 b or not 2
B"-are simply unmeaning. There are,
however, better things than this in Artemus,
and in his visit to the Mormons he has
even ventured to spell correctly. His hui
NOR has the genuine Yankee cast, although
it does not contain very brilliant speoi-
mems. He only occasionally writes on
political topics, which are the staple of
most Of his imitators and rivals. We
may quote one or two bits from his visit
to the Mormons, as examples Of his style.
In passing through Nevada. he remarks
"Shooting isn't as popular in Nevada as
it once was A few years since they used
to have dead man for breakfast "a play
full Californian phrase) "every morning.
A reformed desperate told me that he sup
posed he had killed men enough, to stock
graveyard. A feeling of remorse,' he said,
sometimes comes over me. But I'm an
altered man now. hain't killed man for
over two weeks What'll yer poison your
self with" he added, dealing a resonant
blow on the bar" This is followed by n
story of notorious desperate, whose prac-
tiee ii was to call for liquor, and, il any one
declined joining him, "to commence shoot
ing At last, on refusal Of some stran-
ger, he drew his revolver and exclaimed,
sGood God, must l kill man every time
come to Carson?" with which pathetic
words, "of sorrow rather than Of anger"
he fired and killed his man. "Thc citi
zens," however, thought this tritle too
much and shot the murderer down with
rifles. This is the kind of story which the
narrator tells with imperturablc gravity Of
countenance, pleased if you laugh. and
doubly pleased if you arc credulous enough
to be awcd. He describes Mormonism with
the same kind Iof humorous calmness In
his imaginary visit to Brigham Young,
when the prophet says in answer to ques-
ton, ." Il hev eighty wives, Mister Ward. |
sertinly am married, How do you like it
rs far as you hey got 2 sed l." In his real
visit he seems to have taken much the same
point OF view. "Grigham Young he says,
I" Is man Of real natural ability. II you
ask me how pious he is, treat it as con-
undrum, aud give it up" But he speaks
civilly Of the Mormons, who are fond of
balls, shows. and theatres. The plays have
TO be modified, as one of the Mormons left
a representation of the Lady Of Lyons to-
gethcr with his twenty -four wives, because
he wouldn't see play where man made
such a cusscd fuss over one woman. Per-
haps his best story, as one Illustrative Of
the worst side of Yankee shrcwdncss, relates
TO conversation which he processes to have
heard in new England store to tho follow
ing ettect:-
Say Bill, wot yon done with the sorril Of
yourny -
"sold her" said William with chuckle of salts
faction.
'.word yon gits'
.IIun'd nm fifty dollars cash down."
Howl Hundi an Atty for that kickin' spa,in'
critter? Who'd You sell her to? Y
Sold her to mother!"