Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1866-03-08


A small boy presented himself, eyeipg
Keith with illsuppressed mirth;
"Be you mistress of the house2"
aYes-that Is, am the rnaster!' said
Keith, with dignity, "what can I do for
you? ?"
"Nothiug, guess. Marm,seat me over
to see if you-that is-if the mistrest Of the
house would take care of the baby while she
goes shopping"
"No!" thundered Keith. "1've other
fish to fry"
The-boy put his thumb to his nose, and
Mr.. Keith after slamming the door-as men
always Go when they are out of temper-re-
turned to the kitchen. The fire was out, and
the room decidedly smokey.
"TH go down cellar and bring up seme
coal" said he, and started briskly down the
stars. On the second step be put his foot
through rip in bis dress skirt-stumbled
and fell to the bottom of the cellar-smash.
ing basket Of eggs, and knocking over
shelf loaded with pans Of milk. -
HDeuce take itW exclaimed he, seram.
bling to bis feet, and rubbing his head, show
do the women manage with these internal
long dresses7> I shall break my neck with
this set P'
The fire made again, Mr.. Keith bethought
him of dinner Relooked at bis time piece !;
it was one o'clock Almost time for cal
hers. What should be have for dinner r
He had heard bis wife say that rice pud
ding and boiled potatoes, and broiled steak.
he filled the basin with rice, stirred in
little sugar, dropped in an egg, and set
the vessel into the oven The potatoes he
washed in soapsuds, that they certainly
might be clean, and put them into the tea
kettle, because they would boil quicker.
The steam was frizsling in the fryingpan,
and he vas proceeding to set the table,
when the bell rang.
He caught up the pan from the fre-to
keep it from burning-sud made haste to
the front door. Then he remembered it
! would not be just the thing to 30 to the door
with frying-pan in his-hand, SO he deposi-
ted it on the parlor sofa, and answered the
ring.
Mrs. DR.. Nudge was on the steps, dress
ed in her best.
"Yes-1, dare say stammered Keith,
"my wife is absent, and I am playing Bridg.
ct. Walk In"
Mrs. Nudge sailed into the parlor, which
was darkened to exclude the sun, and with.
out STOPPING to look at her seat, sunk into
the frying, pan on the sofa
"Jupiter !" cried Mr.. Keith, "you have
done it Dow!'
Mrs. Nudge sprang up; the grease drip
ped from the rich silk on the carpet. Her
face grew dark. She was tempted to say
something cutting, but managed to control
herslef; bowed haughtiiy, and swept out of
the house
Keith returned to the kitchen little
crest. fallen, for Mrs. Nudge was lady be.
fore whom be desired to appear particularly
we'll.
There was tremendous cracking in the
oven. He thought of bis pudding, and
looked in. The burnt rice had hoped all
over the oven; the basin had melted apart,
and the pudding was not done. He shut
the door upon the ruins in disgust, and
looked after the potatoes only to find them
boiled to perfect jelly.
And Just as be made the discovery there
was sharp peal at the door bell.
nCreation there's that abominable bell
again. wish folks would stay at bome III
lock all the doors, and cut oil the bell
wires, after to day"
At the door he found Mr.. and Mrs. Fid.
got and their children.
"My dear Mr.. Keith how do you do ?"
cried Mrs. Fidget. owe we're in town,
and thought we'd just step into diuner.-
Where is Mrs. Keith 2"
"She's gone away" said Keith, ruefully,
wondering what he should feed on; "walk
in do. I am the housekeeper day"
eyes, so I should judge. But of course
you make splendid one. remember you
used to be frequently telling Mrs. Keith
and myself how very easy housekeeping
must be. 1t must be mere play to you
Don't put yourself out, ! beg
"Put myself, indeed" cried Keith, re-
treating to the kitchen. "Good gracious
what shall l do? I'd give hundred dol
lars if Mary was only here Where shall
1 begin ?"
He drew out the table and set it'with-
out any cloth !; then took off the plates and
put on q cloth, the very one he had wiped
the dishes on The task completed, be put
on some more potatoes and some steak;
burned the steak to oinder; took off bis
potatoes when he did his meat, and put all
upon the table There was loaf of bakers
bread in the cupboard; he paraded that,
and called his guests to dinner.
A quissical smile spread over Mrs. Fid-
gets face at the sight of the repast. Keith
was 10 cold perspiration.
"Ma, my plates all greasy, and SOS my
knife. 1 can't eat on dirty disbes," cried
little Johnny Fidget.
"And my fork is wet all over with wa.
terIthat's dropping off the table cloth and
nv later amt half biled," cried little Jane
Fidget.
A slight noise in the kitchen drew the
attention of MIR. Keith.
"Jupiter I" cried be, "if Mrs. OFla.
herty's dog amt making off with nv steak !"