New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1866-01-11
ctfatts and cfittions.

CoAGITAT1oNs OF A MAN WHO TALKS TO HIMSELF.
Tie has just left the theater. ]-Couldnt remain ir
the deyelish place any longer. I'd have to say
something would get me into fuss. Just when
the play is most interesting, fellows walk in and
out as if the place was a coHee-hous The women
get fidgety rustling their great skirts, uneasy,
suppose, because everybody amt looking at them.
Then when you're most interested, everybody goes
at coughing, as if it was ahosptal Of cousumptives:
Right in front of me was woman with two year
old boy, petting and coaxing to keep him quiet.
fine little fellow but he had business there,
his nanny either. She'd been better at home
putting him to bed at a reasonable hour.
And didn't my friend Maggie flourish. She was
the best looking woman in the house. Dressed to
kill too Who'd have supposed she was dray-
mans daughter? How superbly she swept the
house with her glass, pausing here and there to
take more scrutinizing glance of beyy of
beauties and gaants, and all the while displaying
her jeweied hand to the greatest advantage. |
used to think itttook two three generations from
the suds to achieve that greatness But, Maggie,
you did it up brown-you did it like princess
How did you ever get that cool, collected assur
ance? Il
! Did the world ever see women dressed SO gaudily
| and SO extravagantly? Wern't people out in the
Confederacy as well off in their homespun? Didn't
the women look as well? Just as well-perhaps a
little better. But halt there old fellow, amt you
going little too far? Suppose everybody in the
country dressed in linsey woolsey, and everybody
| in town in fifty cent calicoes, how much would
you make on dry goods? You couldn't go to the
theatre as often as you do, nor eats many good
dinners. After ALL there's nothing like philoso-
pllzing a little. That theater put me in such an
Internal bad humor. What would poor people do
but for the extravaganza Of the rich? If the rich
get poor, the poor get rich. The world, nor the
people in it not made to stand still. The son
or daughter of that young woman | saw tonight,
blazing with jewels, emulating imperial grandeur,
regarding the poor and unfortunate, perhaps, with
contempt, may be, quarter of century hence,
the servants of the children of those she looks
upon so superciliously.
But all this vanity, all this extravaganza is de
structive of morals. Well, that's their business
not mine. I'm not accountable FOX their Gins. Nc
purgatoria Goals will burn under me,for their mis-
deeds. Besides, couldn't stop it if would
Now that puts me in mind of that story abou
Col Fitzpatrick. must tell it to Facts and Fic
ton the first time / see him. The Colonel yer.
fond Of whist. Party broke up one night by In
house shaking. All run but the Colonel. Wha
are you all running away for?" I" The earthquake.
"Well, you id fools, you can't stop it,"
But I can't see either use or beauty in thos
waterfalls, and I don't see that they help trad
enough to make up for their Internal ugliness
Some of them would fill a camp kettle. Tn
women can say as one Of the Louis Bourbons {
forget lis nu1nI,er) said: 'Apres 1aoats le de!@ge-
But there's 10 use in talking to woman nor to maj
either about the absurdites of fashion. She vii
have her waterfall. AS Facts and Fiction wou
say, that's her chute.
Well, talking about Bourbons, here's Free
; Gubers, and l reckon I'll take punch. So "
go; here I've been darnning the women abou
r waterfalls, bat nary q word have said agails
whisky falls. Wonder If Fred will see my hirsut
r joke?
CATEGpRIcAL.-Thc people Of Leyden, Holland
! recently made raid on the cats of the town, an
! III one night slew some six hundred. The fe.in
race had Of late multiplied to such an extent i
that city az to become a regular Nuisance. A
may well be supposed, they made night hideou
by their cries.
e A famous place for cats in this country is tn
b city of Alexandria, in Virginia. Some years age
. a youngster Of that town, wishing to have som
:. fun, went through the market and privately eI
. gagged each market man from the country to brin
r lin cat next day, as he said he wanted goo
, mouser Every country house has snperhuity
f cats, so the next morning each market cart tcarre
e Il tom cat into town. The joker did not make b
It appearance, of course. and the market men, aitt
{ waiting for him until they were ready to go hom
: Indignantly turned all the cats loose in the nlark
G house. Such caterwau!ing as was heard III!
!, night was never heard before i'll the quiet stree
:, of Ale andra. The cats lived en- the oifal of Il
ia market house, and grew and multiplied until Ale
andria became as famous for cats as Cincinnati
for hogs.