The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1866-05-22
NUMBER d
EEUMOROus ITEMS.

S
tain, to whom the application was made;
"any minister who would travel on
Sunday, isn't ft to preach on board nay
boat" ~ e aa fs r6faD 4
An editor IN Maine has never been
known to drinl: any water. He says he
never heard water being used as gener-
al remedy but once--in the time Of Noah
when it killed more than it cured :
awake up ere,and pay your lodgings =
said Deacon Elliott, as he nudged O.
stranger withthe pola of the contribution
bag. z 1851 bae
Shrouds have no pockets. Think Of
that, you whose soul is absorbed In world
ly gains. u az
An Trishman asked a Long Island Wo.
man the price of "a pair of fowls, and was
told, ga dollar IA dollar is i, my
darlint; why, in my country you might,
buy them for sixpence apiece. n.And
Why didn't you stay in that blessed cheap
country" "a0ch, faith there was no six
pence there, to be surer'4 - " 's
Why is a foolish young lady like a.
careful housekeeper? Because her, 'Raistrf
is as little as she can make it.
Said crazy woman ofapenurious,stin
gy man, an officer of the church, we rec
gret to say. "Do you see that man? You
can blow his soul through a bumndingl
birds quill into mosquitoes eye. and
the mosquito wouldn't wink.
A New York man, who had not been
out of the city for many years, tainted
away in the pure air of the country. He ],
was only resuscitated by putting dead
fish to his nose, when he slowly Greyivedi
exelaiming: "That's good-it smells like
home" f5fssl Is5l J
Prentice says: "a chap sometimes
comes into our office and sits. hour, aftat
hour without telling one word of truth
during the whole time. Hejcan outsit, ar
hen and outlie the Devil" He. must be
one Of the telegraph reporters for the As-J
sociated Press sz8Ew
From using glasses On the nose,- yea.
see an object single; from using them uu-,
der the nose you see it double.
When we want children in the way,
they are always somewhere else; and
when we want them somewhere else, they
are always in the way Many good
kiss has been nipped in the bud by d
four year old nuisance bringing q light in
the ROOM. :.
A prudish apinster, in describing what
kind of man her husband would have to
be, said that she would require him not
only to be strictly religious" but also of
good moral character. s aes
eDoyou propose to putIke into store
Mrs. Partington?9 asked a friendaz .reaz
"Yes," replied the old lady, ahpt 4 I'm.
pestiferous to know which. Some tell
ne the wholesome trads is the best, but I
believe the ringtaif will be the most BEN
efcious to him." sslaFA zsses tes -
A youngster reading chapter in GEM
esis, turning to his mother, inquired if
the people in those days used to dossuniss
on the ground. It was dipcoyersd that
he had been reading the passage, And
the sons of, man multiplied on the face OK
the earth. IS -
An exchange paper, under the. head Of
good advice, advises young mea'to wrap
themselves up in virtue. We think ma
ny of our young men would freeEe to
death if they had no warmer covering. Sd
DIR. Windship, the strong man, adver-
tises an improved apparatus for doubling
the strength in three months An. anx-
ious husband inquiries if it is intended
for ladies' use? He says he has as much
as be can dc to manage his wife neW,and
if she should get one of these machines
it would be all day with himl sc.a Is.
"Father," said cobbler's boy, as he
vas pegging away at an old shoe, "they
say that trout bite now" "Weil, well,
replied the gentleman, "stick to your
work and they won't bite you"
Some poor fellow, who had been Tilted,
we should judge, and brought to grief BY
some fair one, thus revenges his vrongsi
Eve did not know as much as her daugh.
tiers of the present day. Had they been
in her place, instead of being deceived.
they would have deceived the devil. ~
An old picture represents king sit
ting in state, with a. label, 81 govern all''
Ia bishop with legend, 81 pray for all''
Ia soldier with motto, l fight for alr,
land a farmer, drawing forth reluctantly
a purse, with the superscription. II pay
for all.
A good natured fellow, who was nearly
eaten out of house and home by the con.
slant visits of his friends, was one day
complaining bitterly of his numerous yis-
itors. slss s So
"Shure, an Illtell ye how to get rid oi
en-" said an Irishman.
pray, how?"
''Lend money to the poor ones, and
borrow money Of the rich ones, and mai.
lther sort will ever trouble ye again. 81 e
/ once had constant and Troublesome
/ visitor, whom tried many ways tossiis
lodge. First, I essayed smoke, whicl
he bore like a badger; then Ere, whicl
he bore like salamander. At last I len
him FIVE dollars, and have not. seen. hin
fsince. sass
1 Josh Billings says aGod save III,
i phools and don't let EN- run ont, for if i
i Rarn't for them wise men coaldn't get !
living"