Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1866-06-07
Odds and Ends.

Theway 70 get good wife-Get
a good girl and 60 to the parson-
A military definition of akiss-A
report at headquarters.
Like cures like. Sulphur comes
from Fesuyius; therefore it is good
for eruptions.
Maxim of an ineorrigible-It is
very dangerous to leave off habits in
cold weather
Why is the James River like lager
beer? Because it fills the Dutch
Gap.
ReE. John S. C. Abbott of New
Haven has realized $50, goo from bis
history of the war.
John Van Buren;has gone to Eu-
rope. So has Gen. Beauregard, on
business for his railroad in Louisi-
ana.
Corsets are now being made Of
leather. This is doubtless in obedi-
ence to the poets request:
Hide, oh, hide those hills of snowr'
Fashionable young lady detaching
her hair before retiring Ylat
dreams may come when we have
shuffied off this mortal coilr'
''How fast wicked men can go on
in their sinsp' exclaimed a good but
unsophisticated old lady; sit only
takes two seconds to fight duell''
A Nashua man recently lost his
"beloved companion on Saturday,
buried her on Sunday, procured q
marriage certificate on Monday, and
on Tuesday was again enjoying the
pleasures of married life.
No two human beings were ever
alike either in body or mind. In
other words, nature has been engaged
in making men and women six thou
sand years without making one that
she thought it worth while to repeat.
A young lady went into store to
buy a piece of music, entitled,
'When sleep dream of thee;" but
by q ludicrous mistake, she aston
ished the young man by inquiring il
he had the music entitled, "When L
dream l sleep with thee. "
Alta medical examination, young
aspirant for 4 doctors diploma was
asked, ''When does modification en-
sue?n Think of the amazement
his questioner must have felt when
he gave the answer ''When you
propose to lovely girl and are re.
fused"
A Clergyman, thinking to puzzle
a Quaker, asked him, HWhere was
your religion. before George Fox
/ liyed?" s.Where thine was" said
the Quaker, ''before Harry Tudor's
time. Now" added the Quaker,
spray let me ask thee question.
Where was Jacob going when he was
turned ten years Of age? Can't thou
tell that?' mo, nor you either"
said the clergyman. "Yes, 1 ean,"
replied the Quaker; che wss going
into his eleventh year.
ScREwING ON IRON NUTs.-Nuts
have sometimes been found so tight
that no wrench would remove them.
This was because they had been held
in the hand till they became warm,
and being then applied to very cold
screws in winter, they contract by
cooling while on, and thus held the
screw with an immovable grasp
Always avoid putting warm nut on
a cold screw; and to remove it, ap-
ply large heated iron in contact
with the nut, so as to heat and ex-
pand it, and it will loosen at once
or cloth wetted with boiling water
will accomplish the same purpose.
INSECT LIFE.-A peculiarly poeti-
cal pen furnishes the following funny
! fancy:
'Insects must generally lead q
jovial life Think what it must be to
lodge in lilyl Imagine = palace of
ivory or pearl, with pillars of silver
and capitals ofgold, all exhaling such
9 perfume as never arose from cen
ser! Fancy, again, the fun of tuck
ing yourself up for the night in the
folds of a rose, rocked to sleep by
the gentle sIghs of the summer air,
and nothing to do when you wake but
to wash yourself in dew-drop and
Fall 70 opd aaf sv0nr bad oloff,a1 >,