The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-12-06
HOW I CAME TO GET MARRIED.
BY JEW PETER.

81,
brandy juleps, cigar boxes, boot jacks,
abandoned shirts buttons, whist and do
mlnoes. Shadows present-hoop skirts,
band boxes, CATERS, long stockings, little
willow chairs, cradles, pap, paregoric,
hive syrup, etc. I'll just tell you how
caught it.
always was the darndest, tea-custered
bashful fellow you ever did see f; it was
kinder in my line to be taken with the
shakes every time I saw gal approach
ing, and I'd cross the street any time
rather than face one, not because | didn't
like the critters, for if 1 was behind
fence looking through knot hole 1 could
not look at one long enough.
Well, my sister Libby gave party one
night; | strayed away from home because
| was too bashful to face the music.
hung around the house whistling "Old
Dan Tucker" dancing to keep my feet
warm, and watching the heads bob up
aud down behind the curtain, and wish
ing the laundering party would break up
so that could go to my room. l smok-
ed bunch of cigars and it was getting
late and very uncomfortable, l concluded
to climb up the door post No quicker
said than done, and l was soon snugly in
bed
Now, says I, let her rip Dance until
your wind gives out and Guiding under
the quilts, Morpheus grasped me. 1 was
dreaming of softshelled crabs, stewed
tripe, and having good time, when some
one Knocked at the door and walked me up.
[ lay low. Rap, rap, rap. Then 1 heard
a whispering, and | knew there was a
whole raft of gals outside.
Rap, Rap.
Then Lib. sang out:
"Jack, are you in there ?"
"Yes, / am"
Then came roar of laughter.
"Let Us in :"
81 won't; can't you let fellow alone?"
"Are you abed Z"
eyes, l am"
"Get up"
~ won't"
Then came another laugh. BY thun-
der l began to get riled
"Get out, you pctticoated scarecrows,
cant you get beau without hauling
fellow out of bed Z? won't go home with
you, so you may clear out"
Then throwing my boots at the door, L
felt better But presently, oh ! moral
buttons, l heard a still small voice very
much like sister Lbs and it said =
"Jack, you'll have to get up, for all the
girls things are In there p'
ooh, Lord what a pickle. Think of
me in bed, all covered with shawls, muffs,
bonnets and cloaks, and twenty girls out
side waiting to get them. Had | stopped
to think, should have tainted. As it
was, / rolled out among the bonnet wire
and ribbon in hurry.
Smash went the millinery in every di- !
rection. had to dress in the dark-for
there was crack in the door-and the |
way [ tumbled about was death to straw
hats. l opened the door and found my
self right among the girls.
'fOh, my leghorn," cries one-"my /
dear, darling velvet" cries another; and
they pitched in-they pulled me this way
and that, boxed my ears, and one bright
eyed little piece, Sal -- her name
was, dut arm around my neck, and kissed .
me on the lips. Human nature could not
stand that, and | gave her as good as she
sent. 1t was the first time / had ever
had taste, and it was powerful good. l
believe | could have kissed that gal from
julius Caesar to Fourth of July
"Jack," says she, eve are sorry to dis
turb you, but won't you sec me home ~
eyes, will" said L.
And L did, too, and had another smack
at the gate.
After that we took to turtle-doving,
and both of US signing like barrel of
new cider when we were away from each
other.
Twas ct the close of glorious summer
lay-the sun was setting behind distant
hog pen-the chickens were going to
bullfrogs were commencing
their evening song, the pollywogs in their
native mud -puddlcs were preparing them
selves for the shades of night, when Sal
and myself sat on an antiquated black log
listening to the music of nature, such as
tree toads, grunting pigs, and roosters,
which was waited to our ears by the gen.
lie zephyrs signing among the mullen
stalks. The last lingering rays OF the set,
ting sun glanced from the bright buttons
Of a solitary horseman, and shot from a
knot hole in the hog pen full in SAILS face
lying her hair with an oragne- peel hue,
md showing off my threadbare coat to
Dad advantange.
One of my arms was around SAILS waist
she was toying with my auburn locks
If jet blue-She was almost gone, and
vas ditto. She looked like grasshop-
Der dying with the hiccups, and | felt
ike mudturtle choking to death with a
;od6sh ball.
oSal," says ], in voice as musical as
he notes of dying calf, "will you have