Woodville Republican. (Woodville, Miss.) 185?-current, 1866-11-10
Wit and Wisdom.

bA- tea party without scandal is
like knife without handle.
D9- Words without deeds are like
husks without seeds.
| BsS- Features without grace are like a
clock without face.
| peA- A land without laws Is like a cat
without claws.
fkS- A man without wife is like a
fork without knife.
| sss- a womas without a man is like a
handle without pan
HA- A quarrel without fighting is like
thunder without lightning.
sA- The great secret of navigation Is
contained in small compass.
1ES- The more true merit person has.
the more he applauds it in Others.
s<s- Comfort to the poor-nothing pays
no taxes.
BE- Credit--A wise provision by which
sheriiis and constables get living.
b. Stupid people NAV eat but shouldn't
talk. Their mouths will do well enough
as banks of deposit. but not Of issue.
Gas- An Irishman being requested to
define hard drinking. said, 1t was sit
ting on rock and slipping cold water"
reA- A new style of bonnet has made
its appearance in Paris. 1t is a twins
string with diamond setin the top.
Dd5- A man who got drunk at an cleo
ton said it was owing to his efforts to
. pat down party spirit"
s1- The speaker who was drawn
out measured eighteen inches more than
before.
16~ You may CLEAN knowledge hy
reading, but you must separate the chair
from the wheat by thinking.
nss- The last case Of jealousy is that Of
lady who discharged her lover, sea
captain, because he hugged the shore.
EfA. What is the difference between p
woman who tears her dress and one who
pads One busts her stuff, and the other
stufis her bpst.
~ The latest style Of collars formeu
has turned down corners, on which appear
dogs aud horses heads. Asses ears are
worn little higher up.
rGA A young woman being asked by
boring politician which party She was
most in favor Of, replied that she preferred
wedding party.
stS- What three words can colored
boy repeat, that being spelled backwards
will convey the same meaning /? . De man
named
esS- Everybody should possess six
shirts, one umbrella and a home. The
former to keep him in comfort. and fbe
latter out ofprinting Offices.
seA- A contemporary says that death
has new terrors in these DAYS, on account
Of the liability to be caught by soma spir-
ituai medium and made to talk nonsense
post mortem.
bsS- A young man recently wrote to
his sweetheart, saying There is not
Il globule OF blood in my heart which does
not bear your photograph He had il
very bad, hadn't he?
G6s- Hearing physician remark that
small blow will break nose, rustic ex.
claimed - Well, | dunno bout that ; /
have blowed my nose great many times.
and I've never broke it,
~ A minister out West advertised. in
he hope OF making young people ceme
Onward, that he would marry them for a
siass Of whiskey, a dozen eggs, the first
slss Of the bride or quarter of pig.
n2- A Confederate soldier, entering the
lght at Aursreesborough. saw rabbit run-
llng OF the field. Go it, Molly Cotton
all, ] he exclaimed ifI didn't have 4
eputation to sustain. Id be going it.
90.
seS-" John, can you tell me the difference
etween attraction Of gravitatiou and at
raction OF c0hasiong Yes. sir said
John, attraction of gravitation pulls
irunken man down, and the attraction Of
cohesion prevents his getting up again"
~. a down east paper speaks Of
editor as being 50 Eat that if
med out he would produce soap enough
o lather the whole Mississippi. This
compliment is applied to the obese edi-
or Of the Skowhegsn Clarion.
eG- A lady asked noted doctor If he
I'D not think the small bonnets the ladies'
sore bad tendency to produce a conees-
ion OF the brain. ~0h no." renlied he
ladies who have brains don't wear
hem"
ng- A gentleman hiring a servant m
New York. after patiently endusing the
Isual catechism propounded by ~help.r
Then asked, And have you any chill.
lren : replied: q Yes, have Eve, but
can drOwn two or three if you insist up
N it,
neA- A yonng lawyer was asked bya
udge whether. in the translation Of souls,
le would prefer being turned into horse
u an ass
= An ass" quickly replied the lawyer.
q Why9" asked the Judge.
Because have heard Of an ass being
/ Judge. but never horse
~ Don't writs these, said one TO :
I'd who was writing with q diamesa pm
n Pane Of glass in the window Of ho-
Il. eWhTg" said be. Because ypu
ant rub it cat. There arc other thines
rfich men should not do, because they
annst rub them ont Happy is the man
hat has none Of these recorded against
i'm