The weekly Butte record., 1866-05-05
Teutonic Anguish.

A few years since the country remem-
bers that steamer, the Lady Elgin,
was lost on the trip from Chicago to
Milwaukee, and about three hundred
persons on board were drowned. The
first report was that all had perished,
but several escaped and returned to
their homes after an absence Of from
one to three days. There lived at Mil
waukee at the time burly German
named Triheister Dotswinger, who re-
joiced in three -cornered lager beer sa-
loon, an eight square yrow and an oval
faced cherub Of eighteen summers, boy
by nature, Schneider Do.swinger by
name and graceful as a young bologna
sausage in all its pristine bloom.
Schneider coaxed his two derivatives
to 90 on the ill-fated steamer. News
came that she was lost. The anguish
stricken Tueton in paroxysm of grief
called on US in the editorial rooms to
inquire about his boy. We told him
We we're informed all were lost, and of
course his boy was goner. He seat
ed himself On a pile of books ard thus
held forth:
'Mein Gott-mein Gott, Mr.. Bum
roy, tits always shust so as it never
wash since it wash SO, and l knows EN-
have so mooch drooples dis day as
never wash since make start NIT
mine lager beer grocery. 1t is shust
so all der time, und feels SO pab all
doacn here NIT mine pelly. Let US 90
and make some lager beer drink, und
tells you pout dat Schneider what shust
lost me in ter Lady Helshin!''
We accompanied the grief-stricken
one to saloon where lager was held
forth, and over glass of beverage he
thus continued
''Now Mr.. Bumroy, mine heart be
auskaspieH (played out). l makes so
mooch loyes yer dat Schneider as vot
no man ever makes for his poy. I'se
had so mooch trooble NIT him doc. Ven
he vas un fine leedle poy, fat shust like
un leedle pig he had so mooch worms
as no poy never had, und it dakes more
as zwei barrels of goot lager beer to get
dat poy out of der worms. Take some
more peer, Mr.. Bumroy.
Und den my vriend, he makes take
ter leedle meesles, und goomes out all
over in un solid leedle sphots shust like
Nh papy vot ish SO vreckled as never
wash, und it cost more doc tollars to get
dat Schneider away from EN- spheckles.
Und l makes play NIT him on der vloor
und have such fun sphanking him as
never wash, und den he makes mooch
grow, und goes out ter door ven he wants
too, shust like nobody, so it does his
poor ladders heart so mooch goot to
watch him you never saw! Take some
more peer, Mr.. Brmroy.
Und den he make grow shust like
notinks. Und he gets so pig in his lee
die stumach like his fadder! Und
shust like his mudder doc. He vas
shust such poy as never wash. Und
he makes himself grow big, und he
drinks so mooch lager beer as his fad
der, und he ish so mooch help in mine
grocery. He draws peer so goot as l
does, und | sits all ter dime seeing
Schneider draw peer, und l smoke mine
bipe to sheep all ter wiles! Und now
veels so pad down here Take some
more peer, Mr.. Bumroy.
Und now dat Schneider vas gone
make himself drown on der Lady Hell
shin! Imust make myself get un cd
der little Schneider shust like him. |
deel you Mynheer Bumroy never make
myself veel so pad since dat poy vas
notink ~
Just then the door opened and in
came Schneider, living witness, fresh
from the disaster, brought up by Den
nison on the cars.
"Oh Mein Gott, there ccoms dat
Schneider Oh Schneider, you tamn
rascal. kiss Your fadder! Coon to
your ladders arms"
They embrace.
Snow take some lager beer nit Your
fadder. Go kiss your mudder, you
tamn rascal! Here kiss your fadder
you tamn rascal vat drown der Lady
Helshin; und you tamn rascal, ven
next you goes NIT der Lady Helshjn to
ride, you sthay here und sell lager peer,
and lets your poor fadder so have funs
not by tamn sight. Oh, mein Gott,
how makes loves dat poy! I'd rather
find tollars in gold as drown him nit
ter stheamboat La Crosse Depeocrat.