Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1866-03-13
from the New oih REVIEW
McArone on RheumaIlsm.

lnere are no roses IN the wilderness of vines
that lnclose the piazza OF the country house
where L write, but easterly wind, OF much
asperlty and virulence, is making lselt very
much at home there, and wnisIlIDg lIke hra
class boatswaIn whose mother was u c4i,iope.
Easily enough this eAsteriy wind brings me to
the rheumatism.
1t also brings the rheumstism to me-
Did you ever have a red haired m IN throw &
milestone ON your hand ana tuen bore Into your
elbow with centre-bIt.
That Is the sensation of the infiammatory
rheumatism, as performed by me for seven con-
secutve days and nights.
had some very fine, eccentric, and humorous
ideas, during this period but wnen d ieiIow :
right thumb is swollen to the resemblance of a.
Hamburg sausage, and his foreiuger has a were
run through the the bones 1eDgthwise he Is nos
In good condition to write down even the most
brilliant mental scintllations
Neither Is he expert with those frail, unasum-
ing, Out potent Instruments, the knife and fork
Buttons, a So at such tunes present a furmlC-
able resistance. and the razor becomes a vain I'm
potent toy.
The only thing, in fact, that runs the easier
and slides the more vigorously for rheumas,sm
is profanity.
There Is peculiar twist to the elbow, cou pied
with simultaneous twInges in the hip and knee.
that produce great fuency IN that particular.
The remedies that ones friends suggest are ry
no means the least troublesome portion of tn
complaint.
one aGggests common horse chestnut or
'' buck eye," carried 10 the trousers pocket. as
an lntallloie prventIve.
A lady says that an application of batting is
a sure thing.
l once knew of famous cricket PLAYER no
was cured of batting by rheumatism, bur
never knew that the rule would work both
ways.
A third suggestion was that should be en-
veloped from head to foot in blue clay, not to
be disturbed till 1t carcked of iIseif.
Ihis last ruck me as good idea, especially
IT were to be placed al the bottom of a pit SIX
feet deep, to be thus enveloped, the hole TO be
then filled up, and neat headstone erected to
mark the place.
am assured that the clay, under these cir
cumstanoes, would crack anu come of of itself
at about the time when Gabriel erforms his
solo obiigato tor the trumpet
These are but Invalid concets of the rheu-
matlsm, rheumatic but | can hardly do better
to-day. This paper is, in TACT, the first have
written for nearly a fortnight and is but u sort
of experiment.
Indeed, If it gives you the same pain in the
elbow to read is, that 1t gives me to write it,
sincerely pity you.
But If, as said, easy reading is hard writ
ing" this stands chance of being uncommonIy
easy of perusal.
| am httle cut of humor with Fate, or
wha tever you may call it, for this shabby treat
ment. 1t was rather rough to give a fellow q
whole summer of bilious agonies, with no remit
tanoes to hope for except remi tent fevers, and
than to crowd on a cripplipg rheumatism at the
end of it
1t is hard on fellows stamina, and constitu-
tion and things. The thought of dumb bells
makes week feeling creep down my back and
wnen Walk, leaning on my cane, you might
take me- for some old sport. like Professor
Holmes e. Last Leaf'' -