The Newberry herald. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1865-1884, 1866-08-01
tsHot'' by Hot Cookies,
Obi amt il hot2

a. On! alnC IL not! .>' - .
Hot! should think so !; hot as 49,.
BE- Stop, stop! Don't talk of foreign
countries. But look at me see me melt
ing away in streams, and no one to tell
my friends. Won't some one dam these
waters Of perspiration? :. ~
You melting, is it? Just feel o me;
coat soaked into my shoulders; pants
melted into my loins, and my wrists and
ankles-oh dash it. Bless you, dear boy!
another bucket here between my eyes.
0, don't I wish was souse, or pickle, or
mermaid. .~ -. ..>.'...
Here's my hand on those sentiments.
No! take it away;it sticks, and get a
little out O. leeWard you shut off all the
wind. Trouble you for my fan Oh, ex-
cuse me, you're using it. Hold my um-
brella, I'm tired. ~ .., -. -.
If you'd taken a bath, you wouldn't
fret so. ~~- ...' ....- w >.:....s
Bath? bah! I've been in all day.
Well, don't you walk as if to your fu-
nerel. -. ........ -t'I.:.S +. :.
Stub goes my toe, down goes my hat;
here! little boy, pick it up for cent, if
I can get this sticky hand in my pocket.
Look here! old fellow, keep your con-
founded croton off my clean hose. Oh,
dear! there's dog run over, too tired
to get out o'the way. Driver, stop whip
ping those horses. So, So! fit wasn't
so hot, you'd make me mind my busi-
ness, eh? ."5.. .. .:-~
There, you're getting warm again.
Come and take soda, I'll have anoth-
er, not so sweet, and little more ice.
Hullo here's Pat. Nice day; Pat? Nice
and cule yer honor, barrin the hate, plaze
Godl How hot is it, Pat? Ninety de-
Craze above, sur! Above what, Pat9
Above the thurmomytur, av coorse.
Little soda, Pat ? Niver take it IN me
whiskey. What, whiskey this weather?
Yis, yer honor, it gives me strength to,
endure the hate. Here's hoping yer a
thinking of Pat in yer drink, who's niVer
so bate, by the coWId or the hate, but a
nate whiskey straight inliVens his pate,
and sets his two peppers blinkin.
Let's go its only block home.
Only a block; why, a yard will finish
me. See how my face pores; it's as oily
as an olive. Hadn't I better dip it in wa
ter to preserve the features? -
No use!e they won't mix. Hooray! !!
there rain cloud. - >o...,'. .'. +.
And now it's goGe, with only a sprin-
kle and here ne are hotter than ever.
Did you hear Of little Lassy-T -Tude, who
took off her stay, yesterday, to find her
waist wasted away with the heat, and
her poor little feet, apaccustomed to use,
run away in her shoes. There's the sky
plastered all over with hot yellow haze,
and the sun feeding away on Ditro-glyce-
rim to get hotter. The armament double
stitched round the horizon, with not as
much room to let air under as a boy
would find under a circus-tentl, fairly
.drags down fits, and tortures like an oil
silk shirt, or a patent-leather boot. I
seem to be standing in, frying pan, with
pitch-hot calcium lights playing on my
phiz. Then, won't I be putty dish.
= Why don't you put cabbage leaf in
your hat and some cold steel in your
pockets 2 .,..~. r
I preferice sandwiches in my mouth; !;
two pieces Of ice with another piece be-
tWeen--isn't that a contrast to fried hot
pork? =. :..~1.. .@... II. .......
But I'd like. to be a bandy-legged ur-
chin in naturalis. &u...
Some dry nurse would put you in
wooden and smother you in pillows, or.
her auld Reekle bosom. q. @.r
Here's boy with extra, cholera; did you
say? Well, 7 can't leave town, so lazy'd
catch me fore d get out. p.
~ How long think I'm goingto stand in
this blasted sun talking; I'm nosalaman-
der wot likes frying like fire like: insu-
rance buildings. It's too alfred hot.
A man in Pennsylvania was recently
r. = of