The daily Mississippi clarion. [volume] (Jackson, Miss.) 1866-1866, 1866-05-05
NUMBER 24O.
HUMOROUS.
From the Rniokerbocker
QUAKER AfFFTIN

Meetin': :" y ''''>'
: OF course you've read about Qua
: ker Meetin'
OF course YOU think there's moth
ing smart left 10 be written abou,
E, Quaker Meetin
Notwithstanding all which courses
Of objections and obstacles. I am 5o.
ing to write about Qaafs- Nee,in'
The reason is. that I qaent 20 Qua.
ker Meetin' last Suuday-with TuRkIr
TURKLE came down to our house.
= clad in complete grav-in fact. looking
. perfectly ANINADAB SLEEKIsH. He
even had a gray silk pocket handker
chief
Mark said, she does thee intend to
> go to our meetin' this morning."
Nv ell, brother Turkle, if You'll take
me under your gray goose-winc,' II
beg your pardon,) I will gladly ioin
the SocieN's Sabbath-councn.
Thee must mind thy Ps and Qs.
then, and not look carnally at the sis
tiers, nor wriggle thy features into uE-
godly smiles nor blow thy nose over
loud nor take off thy hat, except
when the spirit moveth a brother or u
sister unto prayer
And in meek obedience to Brother
/. 5 instructions, ! took my seat at his
side upon back bench at the Meeun
The Meetin' House was fun The
men sat upon the hardest Of benches.
with the stitiest of backs, and general
ar of wry neck-ednesS pervaded them
On the women seats | remarked drab
cushions, at intervals pecpiug from
mouse-colored skirts The rows of
bonnets, (if the head gear Of the fe-
male Q's can be SO called, All of 4
! serious tint, between white and old
shingIe color, reminded me. looking at
them from behind, Of battalion of
sheeps- heads close sheared. some wash
! ed, and some weather-stained.
Upon the raised benches at the
! farther end sat on one side, six I'M
mitigated broad brims on the other,
seven uncompromising sleeps heads
/ Il speak respectfully, and in a Pick
/ wlcklan sense, The silence was audi
! ble
1t was half past ten, 4. NJ
Turkle gradually subsidized into a
| serene slumber, real or feigned.
"An hour past on; Turkle awoke."
| to the consciousness of something
! going on = The fact was, that at the
END of this hours silence, one of the
six umnitigated ones rose suddenly, as
if somebody had inserted a pin into
has person, took of his broad -eaved
roof and began TO sing; (as
/ supposed, but Turkle said in
the faintest whisper 'exhort. -
The unmitigated then rose with
jerk, and erhorted for half hour,
while took a mental portrait of him;
but the only trace of il that has re
NAMED upon my bump Of what-d'ye-
callem, is wig block, painted yellow
lsh white, with two brown ridges
across the forehead (the eyes were
kept closed, or at least, seemed so,
from where | sat } a shadow, as Of
miniature pump handle, down the
middle face, and a three -cornered mole
near the base The pith of b:s ex-
hortation escaped me, but the subject
was ''gyts.' 1 remember this, be
cause, about the centre Of his SONG
eXhortation, | mean--a small white
object suddenly appeared near the top
Of my nose. with gray glove back
ing it, and perceiving il to be a slip Of
paper with writing thereon, l took it
and read as fonOweth
OH wad some power tine gifde gle ms
70 see onrsels as ithers see us ,,,,...
igated went dorm with another Jerk, as
if a mattress had fallen on his head
and rooted himself again
A fto.s yrbf,l +Igva ,,ra1 r.,,rl
eloquent silence Of twenty minutes
Followed by a rise on the part of
one Of the uncompromising sleeps
heods, who delivered herself-of a
prayer for quaker children who were
forsaking drab ways, and hankering
after crinoline, or striped pantaloons.
After which, silence, for third
time,
Like poultce came
To heal the blows Of sound
Ten minutes having elapsed, the
who had erhorted, was
suddenly seized with a silent ont burst
Of sentiment and fraternal feeling to
ward the unmitigated next him, which
he exhibited by rising and cordially
shaking hands with said unmitigatcd
No. Two At this demonstration,
there was an universal rise IN shat,
and the meetin' dissolved
We stood on the bank as the
stream flowed by, and having passed
the whole shoal in review, passed our
selves out
Marcus Phypps," commenced Tur
llle, as we wended, ''TIl tell thee what.
There was a deal Of good sense and
sound logic in brother Whihlins cx-
hortation, and"
$50 there was Was be the Zeru-
babel Whihliu who -,
''Y-e-a (dont interrupt me , and
sister Deborah prayer was a sincere
Of the spirit. Crnoline,
brother Marcus, is a national curse:
q world wide curse its untimely and
erponsion has been the
prime cause of the pressure in every
thing else.
,'Phypps; Nota bene There wasn't
a pretty Quakeress in meetin'-
so there wasn't Are you going
to dine with me p
mo l-- What was that you said
just now about a little whiskey-and
wafer hnfo"- 7;..--~- ~
Hdu not Jltli iiiIdtttl 0tft* fthtCLtsf.
s-Well, Marc, I don't know but it
,1oUId be 'medicinolIy useful
We went into our house The
old Bourbon was handed forth Mr..
Turkle helped himself, and holding the
glass admirably between his eye and
the window You don't drink whis-
key, l think, saidhe grayely Young,
vigorous men ike you should never
indulge in strong drink You don't
need it; you don't want any artificial
stimulus but there he took sip
when man is past middle age, there
be took another, even il it isn't very
pleasant, there he took third } some
thing Of the kind is necessary to ac
celerate the circulation, and assist dl-
eestion: and though | don't like
whiskey, (here he
finished the glass and sighed | occa-
sionally take a small quantity medici-
nally, and having found whislley agree
with me the best, ! am, in a measure,
there he poured out a spoonful
or so more, and drank it at long
swallow, forced to stick to it. vii
liam, Ito the sable republican Just set
ing the table, you've got onions in
he stufting of the turkey TO day, and
you've left the kitchen door open:
smell it. Go shut it. William, or /