Des Arc citizen., 1866-04-21
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.


 
 There is many man whose tongue might govern multitudes, fine could only gov crn his own tongue. a sfsa yfl
 Ut is said that alady, on putting on her corsets, is like a man who drinks to drown his grief, because inso-laciny herselfs she is getting tight. M a an.hao5 ssi
 ----Tt has been asked when rain falls, does it get up again? Of course it does in dew time. ai's 9H5
 My are young ladies like arrows? Be- cause they never go off without albow (benu,) and they are always in quiver till they get one. s'sAs
 As the words "dead duck" sound harsh and unreined, tho letters ID. D.' nftcr For- neys name will hereafter be read "dcfunct didaper."
 If your mother's sister were to run away and get married quietly, what class of animals might be suggested by such,an act? A(u)nt-elopes, we suppose.
 No one loves to tell a tale of scandal but to him that loves to hear it. Learn, then, to rebuke and silence the detracting tongue by refusing to hear. Never make your ear fhc grave of anothcr's good name.
 "A sleepy church warden, who some; times engaged in popular games, hearing tho minister use the words, sshufile off this mor- tai coil,' started up, rubbed his s'eyes and ex-3 claimed, "Stop, stop! It's smy deal,
 Pridehas greater share than goodness of heart, in the remonstrances we make to thote who are guilty of faults. We reprovc, not so much with n view to correct them, as to persuade them that we are exempt from those faults ourselves.
 "A very considerate hotel keeper adver- Using his ssBurton XxXXX,' 7 concludes tho advertisement: IN B.--Parties drinking more than four glasses of thispotent beverage, care- fully sent home on awheelbarrow, if required
 -A wag says of woman: To her virtuo we give love; to her beauty VIC give admifa- tion to her whimswe giyeindulgepce her tongue we give liberty; to her wants we give our purses to her persons we give ourselves; to her hoops, the whole pavement.
 "A young member of the bar thoughthc would adopt D motto for himself, and, after much reflection, wrote in large letters, and posted up against the wall, the following, ''Suum Cuiquc, which may be translated, sslet every one have his own.n country cli- ent coming in, expressed himself much grati- fled with the maxim, but added, "you cant spell it right s1ndced Then how ought it to be spelt?" The visitor replied, "Suc em quick.'' sss.s.
 --A good-natured fellow, who was nearly eaten out of house and home by the constant visits ofhis friends, was one day complaining bitterly of his numerous visitors. 4 T
 s.Shure an I'll tell ye how to get rid of cn," said an Irishman.
 "pray, howl"
 "Lend money to the poor ones, and borrow money of tho rich ones, and naithcr sort will ever trouble ye again"
 ---At recent festive meeting, married man who ought 10 have known better, pro- posed: 1.-The ladies-the beings who divide our sorrows, double our joys, and treble our expenses"
 Upon which lady proposed: The gentle men--the sensitive individuals who divide our time, double our cares, and treble our trou- bles." The married man didn't stop to hear any moro.
 -ssWill yez come homc?' said bonny wife to her hege lord, whom she had followed to a groggery, where he was in the habit of passing his leisure time, looking at matters through the bottom of tumbler. sNo l shant." "Will you come for the love of God?" "No." "Will ye come for the love of the chiI. dren?" s.No." ssPatrick, darlint, will ye come now?" said the wife at last, partly pull ing black bottle from under her shawl Och, and shure will; but the devil step I'd go, if it wasn't for your winning ways, Mary, darlint.' M
 TIE LADIES ALPHABETICALLY. .-- WA0t c aco- man should 5e.--A woman should be amiable, benevolent, charitable, domestic, economical, forgiving, generous, honest, industrious, ju- dicious, kind, loving, modest, neat, obedient, pleasant, quiet, refecting, sober, tender, ur- bane, virtuous, wise, xemplary, yielding and zealous.
 What C ,coman should nol 5s.--She should not be artfill, bold, cross, deceitful, enyious, grovelling, hollow hearted, idle, jealous, kna- wish, lazy, morose, nonsensical, officious, prudish, quarrelsome, rude, snappish, talka- tive, unreasonable, vain, wavering, xtraya- gart, yawning, or jealous.
 AGAINST THE CuRRENr.--A waggish chap whose vixen wife by drowning lost her precious life, called out his neighbors all around, and told them that his spouse was drowned, and in spite of search could not be found. Heknew, he said, the very nook were she had tumbled in the brook, and he had dragged along the shore, above the place mile or more,
 "Above the place?" the people cried; "why what dy c mean?' a 2 The man replicd-- SlFa4 ffsss
 "Of course you don't suppose I'd go and waste time to look below? I've known tho woman quite spell, and learnt her fashions u'ble we'll; alive or dead, she'd go, SNOW, against the current anyhow!" ta
 BEAUTIFUL ASswERs,-A pupil of Abby Sicord gave the following extraordinary an- swers:
 ''What is gratitude!"
 ssGratitude is the memory of the heart-"
 ssWhat is hope?" a4
 "Hope is the blossom of happiness
 "What is the difference between hope and desire?" f
 "Desire is tree in life, hope is q tree in flower and enjoyment is a tree in fruit"
 ssWhat is eternity!
 "A day without yesterday or to-morrow-s g line that has no end.