Clarksville weekly chronicle. [volume] (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1865-1867, 1866-11-16
ARTEMUS WARD.
A Chapter OF His Experience a. Q
Snowman.
SOMETHING SENSATIONAL.
From the London Punch.

From the London Punch.
understand animals better than any other
class Of human creatures. I have q very
animal mind, and I've been identified with
EN- doorin my entire Professional career ss q
Snowman, more especially bears, wolves,
leopards and serpunta
The leopard Is as lively animal a. I ever
came into contack with. II Is troo he cannot
change his spots, but you can change 'em for
him with a paint brush, as once did 10 the
case of leopard who wasn't naturally spot
ted in an attractive manner. In exhibitin
him used to stir him up in his cage with q
protracted pole, aud for the purpuss of max
in him yell and kick up in Jeopardy man.
ner, used 10 'casionally whack him over the
head. This would make the children insids
the booth scream with fright which would
make fathers OF families outside the booth
very anxious to come in---bscause there u q
large class of parents who have an uncon-
troll liable passion for takin their children to
places where they will stand . chance Of
being frightened to death.
One day whacked the leopard more thau
usual, which elissited rcmonstrance from d
tall gentleman in spectaclss, who said, Ny
good man, do not beat the poor Gagged ani-
NAL. Rather fondle him."
"Pll fondle him with q club" I anserd,
hitting him another whack.
al pritby desist said the gentleman /,
" stand aside, and see the effeck Of kindnsss.
understand the idyosyncracies Of these cree
went up TO the cage, and thrusting his facs
in between the iron bars he said, soothingly,
"Come hither, pretty creetur." The pretty
creetur come-hithered rayther speedy, and
seized the gentleman by the whiskefs. which
he tore Of about enuf to stuff small cush-
ion with.
He said. "You vagabone, I'll have you
indicted for exhibitin dangerous and immor-
al animals"
Irsplied, "Gentle sir, there isn't animal
here that hasn't beautiful moral bat you
mustn't fondle EN-. You mustn't meddle with
their idiosyncracies.'
The gentleman was a dramatic cricket,
and be wrote article for paper, in which
no said my entertainment was q decided
failure.s
AS regards Bears, you can teach 'em to do
interestin things, but they're Unreliable.
had very large grizzly bear once, who
would dance, and larf, and lay down, and
would bow his head in grief, and give d
mournful wale etsetry. But be often an
noyed me. 1t will be remembered that on
| the occasion of the first battle of Bull Run,
it suddenly occurred TO the Fed'ral soldiers
that they had business In Washington which
ought not TO he neglected, and they all start
ed for that beautiful ard romantic city.
maintsinin a rate of speed during the entire
distance that would have done credit to the
celebrated French stesd, GIadiateur. Very
nat'rally our Government was deeply gricved
at this defeat and | said to my Bear SHORTLY
after, rs was given exhibition in Ohio--I
said, " Brewin, are you not sorry the Ma
tional arms has sustained defeat n His
business was TO vale dismal, and bow his
head down, the band Ia barrel origin and o
wiolin) playing slow and melancholy moo
sic. What did the grizzly old cuss do, how
ever, but commence darncing and larfin In
the most joyous manner. ! had narrer
escape from being imprisoned for disloyalty.
will relate another incident in the career
Of this retchid Bear. used TO present what
| called in tie bills 4 Beautiful Living Pic
turc-showing the Bears foudness for his
Master-in which I'd lay down on piece OF
carpeting, and the Bear would come and lay
down beside me, restin his right paw on my
oies'i tho puuu piayiHB hoHtc, SUeet AOHuc,
very soft and slow. Altho' say 1t, il was a
tuchin' thing to see. I've seen tax collectors
weep over that performance.
Well, one day said, Ladies' and Gen.
tlemen, we will now show you the Bears
fondness for his MASTER" and went and laid
down. | tho't observed o pecoolior sx-
preston iIfto his eyes, rs he rolled clumsily
toards me, but didn't dream of the scene
which follerd. He laid down and put his
paw on my brest. "Affection of the Bear
for his Master" repeated. "You see tho
Monarch of the Western Wilds In a subjuga-
ted state. Fierce as these animals naturally
are, We now see that they have hearts, and
can love. This Bear, the largest in the
world, and measurin seventeen feet around
the body, loves me as mer-ther loves her
chc-ildp But what was my horror when
the grizzly and infamus Bear threw his other
paw under me, and riz with me to bis feet,
Then claspin me In q close embrace he
waltzcd up and down the platform In %
| frightful. manner yellin with fear and
anguish. To make matters wuss, q low
scurrilous young man in the audience hol-
Tered out Playfiilnsss of the Bearl Quick
moosicl' / jest 'scaped with my life. The
Bear met with violent deaIh the next day ,
by being in the way when hevily loaded
gun vas fired of by one Of my men.