The Wyandot pioneer. (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1853-1868, 1866-04-19
The steam was fr.izzling in the frying
pan aud he WIS hfnreedifn to set the

table when the bell fang. t--'7s
He caught up the pan from the FIRE
to keep it from burning-and made
haste to the front door. Then he re-
membered it Would not be just the
thifg to go to the door with a frying
pan in hand so he deposited it on the
parlor sofa, ai,d answered the ring. 90
Mrs. Dr. Mud dge was OH the steps
dressed in all her best
Eyes, dare say" stammered Keith,
"my wife is absent, and l am playing
Bridget. Walk in." ,L ~lz sasrrat
Mrs. Nudge sailed into the pat1or,
which was darkencd to exclude the
sun, and without stopping to look at
her seat, sunk into the frying pan on
the sofa. fe f-s.S2 3sss s:5i-
'Jupiter p cried Mr. Keith, ssyou
have done it ftow!''
Mrs. Nudge sprang lip; the grease
dripping from the rich silk on the car
pet, her face grew dark. She was
tempted to say something cutting, but
managed to control herself; bowed
haughtily, and swept out of the house
Keith returned to the kitchen a lit
tie crest fallen, for Mrs. Nudge was a
lady before whom he desired to appear
particularly well.
There was a tremendous cracking in
the oven. He thought of his pudding,
and looked in at it. The burned rice
had hoped all over the oven; basin
had melted apart, and the pudding was
not done. He shut the door upon the
ruins in disgust, and looked after his
potatoes, only to find them boiled to
jelly. O.. 49, srte n ,.r,s,--
And just as he made the discovery
there was very sharp peal at the bell.
''Creation! there's that abominab1e
bell again" / wish folks would stay
at home!r I'll lock all the doors, and
cut all the bell wires, after to day.
At the door he found Mr. and Mrs
Fidget and their children
"My dear Mr. Keith how do you
do cried Mrs. Fidget, eve were in town
and thought we'd just step into dinner.
Where is Mrs. Keith p ii. - zaEf
''She's gone away" said Keith, rue
fully, wondering what he should feed
them on s'walk in do. I am house
keeper to- day
.sHsYes, I should judge. But Of rot1fso
you make SPLENDID one. [ remem-
Der you used to be frequently telling
Mrs Keith and myself how very easy
housekeeping must be. Tt must be
mere play to you. Don't put yourself
out I beg
"Put myself out, indeed,'' he cried,
s'retfeatihg to the kitchen. 'tGood
gracious! what shall I do? I'd give
hundred dollars if Mary was only
here! Where shall j begin p nesr .. i
He drew out, the table, and set, il
without any cloth; then took off the
plates and put On a cloth, the very one
he had wiped the dishes OH. The task
completed, he put OH some more pota-
toes,and some more steak, burned the
steak to cinder; took off his potatoes
when he did his meat, put all upon the
table, There was loaf of bakers
bread in the cupboard 3 he paraded
that, and called his guests to dinner.
A quizzical smile spread; over Mrs.
Fidgets face at the sight Of the repast.
Keith was in cold perspiration
"Ma, my plates all greasy, and SOS
my knife. [ can't eat on dirty dishes, -
cried little Johnny Fidget, IN :.
"And my ffoek is wet all over with
water that's dropping off the table,
cloth and my tater amt half boiled,''
cried little John1lysFidget.
A slight noise in the kitchen, drew
the attention of Mr., Keith.
''Jupiter p he cried, if Mfs. O'Fiath-
arty's dog aint making off with my
steak p .a.E at.fe -...H
He jumped from the table and start
ed in hot pursuit. The dog made the
best of it; Keith's unaccustomed, attire
was sad draw back, and he made but
little headway. .ssIa yfaS. ~. 7at5,
ssKill him." he yelled to- the crowd
that joined in the pursuit : s'TH give
fifteen dollars for his hide"
Mis-. O'Flatharty, herself, appeared
ON the scene With a skillet Of hot wa
ter. siG aasea5 ss 8zs.a i.as.t Il.
fsTech him if yef dare!'' she cried
I'll break the bones Of every mother
oOH VI yOu lOIhlhoO, vi
yen rue the day. -'5i -
Keith took step forward, stepped
on his skirt, and pitched headfrst into
wine. cellar, where half dozen men
were playing cards. .r..,... 49,
s'The Devil in petticoatsr' eSclaim-
ed a gamester, and the place emptied
quicker than d wink. e.s -.
The.police picked up Mr.. Keith, con
siderably briiised, and carried hin
home; His company had taken theil
departure, and somebody not. having
the fear of the law upon them, had en-
tered the house and stolen hundred
dollars worth Of property, ....
Mr.. Keith sent the following note
to his wife by the evening mail:
''DEAR MARY Come home / give
up beat. A woman does have a. great
deal to DOL confess myself incom-
pgtent to manage. Come home and
YOU shall have new silk dress and a
daughter of Erin to divide your labors.
2EH "Yours, disconsolately;
.-,saF: 5.. -.s.z...sfsa t.H. KEITH" +,
49, =. -, - -.