Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1866-02-22

Teller said in the theatre, swhen you in your
letters these uulucky deeds, relate speak of
me as am-nothing expatiate nor set down
hot in malice"
"Jest 3d." sed I, "exaaktly-exaaktly so.
Proceed, my hero"
"Well you see the night after you passed
me,my steer got away. Hang the descevin
beast I hunted smartly for him the next
morning, but hunted more forerds than
backwards. Leavin my wagin with Wild
er woman, I took it afoot acros the coun-
try by settlement road they called the
"cut off," Devil of cut off it was to me.
I broke down in sight of little log cabin,
and never moved foot further that day
The old man had a chunk of nag that
worked in slide. Iperswaded him to haul
me to the eend of the cut off, and know
he done it for fear I'd eat up his smoke
house. Every now and then he'd look at
me But that slidin bisness were the most
orfullest travellin that I ever hav had
Every time the pony'd look back he'd stop,
and when he'd start agin he gib such a jerk
that my contents were in danger. My holt
broke on one okkashun, goin down hill
of gullies. roll'd some twenty feet into
the edge of the woods, and cotch up agiu
an old pine stump that was full of yaller
jackets. Three of the dingd things stung
nae before I could rise, but I got through
the cut off, and fell in with some empty wag-
ius that was stampedin my way.
"Gittin on to Atlanty, fool Irishman
stopd me right at the edge of the town and
demanded my papers. I dident have no
papers. No body had ever axed me for
papers, but he wouldent hear an argument
As Quarles would say, he woudent .jine as
shue, but marched me to an offs, and 1
dident stay there ten minutes. 1 wer sent
off to Dekatur with some fifty conskripts
who were all in mournin, excepin their
clothes. I never seed sich pitiful set in
my life. I talked with em all, and thar
was nary one but what had the dyspepsy or
the swinny or the reumatics or the blind
staggers or the heaves or the humps or sum-
thin. Well, there want none of us dis
charged, for there was bran new orders CAL
lin for everybody for thirty days to 60 to
the ditches. As I couldent walk that fur,
was ordered to Andersonville to guard
prisoners. At Makon met an old okwain.
tance, who was powerful big officer, and
be had me transferred to his department an
put ME in charge of his ordnance There's
where handled guns, Bill, and slep on my
arms. Whole boxes of musket was around
me, and | dident no more mind taken a
snooze on gun box than if it had been a
couch of fethery down. Its all in gittin
used to it, Bi!l-all in the USE"
"Jest So" sed 1, "thats the way See it
-exakely so, my friend. Proseed."
"Its bland lucky, Bill, that 1 didn't go
to Andersonville. They would have had
me alongside of Writ, either as prisonci.
pal or witness or sumthin, and some lyin
Yank would hav had a swear or two at me
about shootin him on the dead line. Be-
fore this my carkass would have been eat up
by worms or cut up by Doktors, and my
pikter spred all over whole side Of Har-
per's Wee.tly as monster of deth.
"Well, I KEEP handlin guns and bynets and
dangerous weepins, ontil one day l got fur.
10 to 90 to Rome. Sherman was playin base
around about Atlanta, and so l had to cir
cumference around by the way of Selma,
and the very day I got there, everlastin
blast EN-, the Wilson raiders got there too.
1 wasent no more looken for them Yankees
in Selma then I were for old Bellzebub,
and both of em was all the same to me-
Blamed if they wasent shootin at me before
I knowed they was in the State. How in
the dickens they missed me don't know,
for their minny balls sung yanks doodle all
around me and over me and under me and
betwixt me.
ri tell you, Bill, I run like mud turkel,
lookin ahead of me at every step to find an
easy place to fall when I was plugged. An
old woman overlook me, and 1 axd her to
take my watch and my money. She took
EN- in hurry and put EN- in her boozum.
Well, I found gully at last, and rolld in
kersplosh, for it was about two feet deep in
mud and water. The Intervals found me
there jest at night, and got me out at the
pint of the baynet. They marchd me to the
wolf pen, and there stayd till the fuss was
over.
"Right, here, Bill, want to make an
observation. There was fsller with me
when l was cotched, and seed him make
sorter of a sign to the captain, and they
turned him loose in two minets, and be jest
went about anywhere as neteral as king,
while had crossey'd dutchman standiu
over me with baynet GRIMM from mornin
till night. There was some Free Masonry
about that, Bill, and if another one of these
fool wars comes along, I'll jine EN-, if they'll
let me.
"But I'm at home now for good. Pm
gwine to stay here like sine die. I'm
agin all wars and 6ghtins. I'm opposed to
all rows and rumpuses and riots. l don't
keer nigh as much about dog fgnt as 1
used to. Now if one could always see the
end of thing in advance, and the eend
was alaoays right, I wouldens mind big
fuss, but then you know mans foresights
aint as good as his hind sights. If they
was, this war wouldent have broke out, and