Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1866-04-05
EsiiE Arp Addresses "a Law
School, and Gives Eiis -
Experience.
MIILEpaEv1LIE, Georgia, Feb, 1866.

MILLEDGEvILLE, Georgia, Feb, 1866.
Messrs. C. G. Cummings and Others, Com
naittee: Gentlemen-I have received your
kind invitation to address your law skool.
In the situation by which [ am surrounded,
it is impossible for me to go. I wish could,
for would like to tell you all know about
| law, aud it wouldeRt take long I'm now in
the law business myself at this place. We
are engaged in manufacturer it by whole
sale, and after while it will be retailed out
by the lawyers to anybody that wants it.
It's an easy business to make law, though
some of the bills introduced are awfully
spelt. To-day l saw q bill in which tsma-
sheenery" was spelt with two esses and
four ease. But the greatest difficulty is I'M
derstan6in' the law after it is made. Among
lawyers this difficulty don't seem to lie SO
much in the head as in the pocket. For five
dollars q lawyer can luminize some, and
more ackording to pay. But he oughtent to
luminize but one side at a time. The first
case ever had in a justice court, employed
o, Bob Liggins, who was sort Of lf-edu-
Gated fool. | give him two dollars in ad-
vance, and he argued the case, as I thought,
on two sides, and was more luminous agin
me than for me. lost the case, and found
out afterwards that the defendant had en-
ployed Liggins after did, and gave him five
dollars to lose my case. look upon thisa as
a warning to all clients, to pay big fees and
keep your lawyers out of temptation.
My experience in litigation have not been
satisfactory. / sued Sugar Black onst for
the price Of load Of shuks. He said he
wanted to buy some refuess, and | agreed to
bring him load of shuks for two dollars.
I,
ing, and sent out after the shuks hisself
When | called on him for the pay, he seemed
surprised, and said it had cost him two dol
lars and a half to have the shuks hauled, and
that / jestly owed him half dollar. He
was bigger than | was, SO / swollored my
bile and sued him. His lawyers pied set
unsound; that they were barred by limita-
! lions that they didn't agree with his COW
that he never got any shuks from me. He
spoke about an hour, and allooded to. me as
q swindler about As times. The bedeviled
me for fifty cents, and four dollars for costs
of suit. | haint saved nary shuk on my
plantation since, and don't intend to until
it gets less expensive look upon this as a
warnin to all folks, never to go to law about
The next trouble had was with a Teller
who hired to dig me a WELL He was to dig
it for twenty dollars, and | was to pay him
in meat and meal and SIGH like. The vaga-
bond kept gettin' along until he got all the
pay; but he hadn't dug nary foot in the
ground. So made out my akkount, and
sued him as follers, to-wit:
Old John Hanks, to Bill Arp Dr.
To well dident dig, $50
Well, Hanks he hired cheap lawyer, who
rared around extensively and said heap Of
funny things at my expense, and finally dis
missed my case for what he called its
" ridikulum absurdum." Ipaid those costs
and went home sadder and a wiser man. [
| pulled down my little cabin and moved it
| some hundred yards nearer the spring, and
! I've drunk nifty little well water since.
look upon this case as warnin' to all folks,
meUer to pay for anything till you hare got it,
especially # ii has 70 be dug .rs
The next law case [ had gained by N.Y.
self by tie force Of circumstances I
| bought mans note that was given for the
hire of niger boy, Dix. Findin' he would
not pay me, [ sued him before Square Me-
Ginnis, beleevin' it was such dead thing
that the devil couldent keep me out out of a
]
Of consideration, and non est faktum, and
| SgniS fatuis, and infancy, and that the mig
/ GERS name Wasent DIX but RjchGrd.A The
old squire was powerful secesh, and hated
the Yankees amazin'. So, after the lawyer
had got through his speech and finished his
readin' from book called g Greenleaf," |
rose forward to an attitood. Stretchin' forth
my arm, says [, esquire McGinnis, I would
/ oo1I fc. = %
our afflicted country when federal law books
are to be admitted in a southern peoples
court Haven't, we seeded forever from
their foul domination Don't our flag wave
over Fort Sumter, and what, sur, have we to
do with northern laws? On the very fust
page Of the gentleman's book, [ seed the
name Of the city Of Bosting. Yes, sur, it
was written in Bosting, published in Bos-
ting and sold in Bosting, where.t they don't
know no more about the hire Of q niger
than an OK knows the man who will tan his
hide" / sed some more things that were
1 pinted and ratriotick, and closed my argu-
ment by handin' the book to the squire. He
put on his spectacles, and after lookin' at
the book about minnit, says he:
:" Mr.. Arp, you can have judgment, and
| hope that henceforth and forever, no law
yer will presoom to come before this honora-
bic court with pisen documents to prove his
case. If he do, this court will take it as an
insult, and send him to jail''
look upon this ease as a warnin to all
who gamble in law, to hold a good hand and
play it well. High justice and patriotism
are winnin' trumps
After this l had a difficulty with man
by the name Of Kohen, and | thought |
wouldent 60 to law, but | would arbytrate
had bought Tom Swillin's wheat at dollar
a bushel, IF he conIaent do any better, and if
he could do better he was to come back and
gre me the preference. The scamp went off
and sold the wheat to Kohen for dollar and
FIVE cents, and Kohen knoEed all about his
contract with me-
Me and him like to have ft and perhaps
would if | hadent been puny; but we finally
left it all to Josh Billings to arbytrate. Old
Josh deliberated on the thing for three days
and nights, and finally brought in an award
that Kohen should have the wheat and I
should have the preference. hain't sub
mitted any more cases to arbitration since,
and my advice to the people is to arbytrate
nothin' if your case is honest, for there amt
no judge there to keep one man from trick
ing the other An honest man don't stand
l. no chance nowhere exsepptin' in g court