The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1866-11-15

QUkBI--1< - - lO0A W<uob
he makes : s'maiden apsech3''
WHAT HID or ( ship has two mates
and no csptsiA? A ss0rtship.
WIZ is the inside OF everything un-s
ineligible? Because We cant make it
out.
Why is lady's bonnet like cupola?
Because it covers the belle.
Why are most pieces Of villany like
candle? Because they are brought to
light ,,-.-,
WnEN is music like vegetables? When
there are four benss to the measure
WHO was the first post-boy Cadnus;
he carried letters from Ph9nicia to
WHEN are two potatoes precisely alike?
When they're pared.
WHY is a kiss like creation? Because
1t is made Of nothing and we, is very
good. 7. sF
ssTIs raus. ,rfs PITY: IT'S PITY IT'S
True "--Iioncymoon bliss sometimes
turns out to be noousLi. Q.
Why is cricket on the hearth like a
soldier in battle? Because he often AL
vances under brisk fire.
WHAT is that which is above all human
imperfections, and yet shelters the weak
est and wisest as well as the wickedest
Of all mankind?-AA hat.
YOUNG thief; who was charged with
picking pockets, demurred to the indict-
ment, because he bad never 'zactly picked
them, he always took them as they came.
A GENTLEMAN whose father had been
hanged, was accustomed to refer to him
as ..having died suddenly, by falling
through a platform and breaking his
neck, at large public meeting
IEyou put two persons in the same
bedroom, one of whom has the tooth
ache, and the other is in love, you will
find that the person who has the tooth
ache will go TO sleep first.
Why is newspaper like q tooth brush?
Dye give it up? Because everybody
should have one of his own, and not
borrow his neighbours.
II - spoonful of yeast will raise fifty
cents worth of -four, how much will it
take to raise funds enough to buy anoth-
er barrels F44lf f~s44#ssf
srs, since they break about every body
that has anything to do with them. II
you want to get broke to certainty, go
to q broker.
A POOR widow was asked how she be
came so much attached to a certain
neighbour, and replied that she was bound
to him by several cords of wood which
he had sent to her during the hard win
tors. ssFkD ss
AN editor out w est says: ''Yf we have
offended any man in the short but bril-.
liant course of our career, let him send
us new hat, and say nothing about it.
DEAN SWIFT, hearing of carpenter
falling tn rough the scaffolding of a house
which he was engaged in repairing, dryly
remarked that he liked to see a mechanic
go through his work promptly.
SAMMY, my son. don't stand there
scratching Your head; stir your stumps,
or you'll make no progress in -
why, father, I've heard you say the
only way to get along in this world was
to scratch ahead i ,~m
SHAKgsrEAREa asks: Whats in name?'
This only Shows that Shakespeare never
kept family grocery" II he had, he
would have known that white beans,
under the name OF "Old Government
Java" sells for forty cents pound.
A GREEN -HoRN-A countryman once
happened to stray from his native village
into a seaport town, where he saw q ship
on the stocks He had never befoI e
seen such an object. Climbing up the
ladder on the side of the vessel, he ex-
claimed-"Hullo! You make EN- boiler,
don't your"
"WELL, Tom" said blacksmith to
his apprentice, 'you have been with me
now three months, and have seen all the
different points in our trade. wish to
give you your choice Of work for a while"
'Thank'ee, SIR" swell, now, what pan
OF The business do you like best?"-
"Shuttin' Mp shop and goin' to dinner,
sir" 50 .ss9&t iae
A FARMER more noted for the care he
bestowed upon his line stock than upon
his mode of expression, wrote to the
secretary of an agricultural society in
regard to entering his animals for the
premium offered. and added, by way of
proscript: ..Aiso enter me for the best
jackass. I'm sure Of . premium"
"WHAr is the rent Of this house?" in
quired domicile hunter Of the owner of
small tenement up town. mine hun
dred dollars" 81 beg your pardon. bu,
you misunderstood me. ] don't want
to Buy, only want to rent" The avari
eious owner saw the point. but didn't
laugh ut it.
-----ss. s~se-
BoREs.-Old gentlemen who sit down
in an editors sanctum and read ex-
changes to him.
Mothers who force disinterested per
sons to notice their children.
Ladies who crowd you out Of your
seats in the stage or cars.