The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1866-02-15
IRON tne Toledo Blade.
CosFEEDRIT 4 ROADS (which !
is in the Stait Nv Kentucky,)


1 e.t
CosFEEDRIT X RoADs (which
/ is in the Stait Nv Kentucky,)
/ FEBRUARA, 8, 1886.
/ Last mite | retired to my virtoous couch q
precisely half past eleven, after eatin rathe
light supper for that time Of night. I allu
4 make it pint to eat light in the evnin, fo
I'm gettin old and my digestive faculties ain
i What they was when / wux young, Alas
We who hev lived out the best part nv on
days, wat wood we give to be set back to tn.
time when, with. our faculties unimpaired, v,
consoom a good square meal without fear u,
| consekenses. But
"Them happy days is fed,
And never will return"
paid my respects to mince pies, a pai
nv pigs feet, some cold tongue and plate u,
tripe, follered by half dozen dough nuts anc
couple or more Nv glasses NV hot whisky
punch, and singler ez it may seem it didn
set we'll. dreamed all night and my dream.
wuznt at all pleasant. Methawt had decees
and wuz in the next world. 1t was q snsler
site that met my vision. The diyidin line
atween this world and the next wux a swif
stream nv water and every deceest spirit had
| to cross it. The water wuz suthin like that
nv the Dead Sea A man unencumbered with
anything could walk On it, but they sunk down
IN it if they wuz loaded, accordin to what
| they he'd to carry. On the tother side Nv this
Jordan wuz heaven-the dominions NV his
| majesty Satan the lst wuz below. and to it a
strong under current flowed, which took all
them ez wnz too heavy loaded to keep their
chins above water.
On the bank stood more than two millions
Nv little devils, who flung onto the shoulders
| Nv them trying TO cross their failins aud weak
nesses and inixuities
Gen. Breckenridge wuz the first that | saw
enter the food. He he'd on life preserver
labelled State Rights. but peart little devil
stuck pin into it. and it collapsed, the gas
with which was filled smellin horribly. Down
he went, and ez he sunk they commenced
peltin him with packages labelled Treason. =
Perjury and Murder and ohm c. went
under.
Old James Buokannon went next The old
gentleman didn't keep above water as long
ez able bodied man could hold bar nv red
hot iron in his hand. He made one splash
when weight labelled Treason. struck him
aud down he went. The gentlemanly and
urbane devil who had him in charge, had a
big pile more Nv ammunition I'd discharge at
HIM, but that one wuz sufficient
Nallandigham come next. wuz surprised
TO see no one make motion at him. but he
I.
sed Satan 10 me; The carries enough natural
ssn saffafaHsis asys ago. sho"' e''T :" -
Frank Pierce made his appearance, but
declined to enter. He wuz Immediately
seezed and on each leg wuz tied q weight
labelled Kansas and they flung him IN.
He went down like shoe, and that the last
| seed NV him.
Care, Davis went in and to my surprise
..asad o~ar CaiYr Na,h,nr ul,z Aanv
him. for which | asked the reason.
"Why' sed Satan, the poor old man is
not accountable. He commenced TO talk
many years ago and keeps on talkin because
he really don't know when TO sthp. ! could
hey sunk him, but the fact is | woodent en-
door what the SENT Of the Yoonited States
hez ted to for the past few years, for dozen
of Tombs Lawyers. Besides this I'm gettin
more from Kentucky now than I'm really
entitled to. I've a mortgage on wo-thirds Nv
| that State"
Fernandy and Ben Wood come up rather
bold and entered the food ez though they
| we're sure Nv goipg through alright. With q
mimitahle chuokle, Satan motioh ped away the
| inexperienced devils and leave EN- to me,
| and at Ben he hurled package Nv the Moo
| York Ners which swashed him down instantel
Jest as Fernandy was begin,n TO reach ths
other shore, he flung onto hun IN assortmeu
| Nv weights labelled "Lotterles," "Riots,
which took him down to the erIapsis ant
| finished by tumblin onto him 1 mass ontc
which wuz written stMayoralty' and down h
went, a. which his Majesty drew sigh Nv
relief
This war hez bin rather profitable thin
for you
"Nothing to speek Nv" sed he. ''Th
leaders NV the Southerners were, sum of EN-
honest and got through on that account, an
the rank and file were ignorant wretcAes VII
amt accountable no how, The leading cor
perheads Nv ,he North, we're mine anyhow
from the beginnin. Any man who coo
4 sympathize with the rebels in sich q struggle
must, you win acknowledge, hev had Ion
career OF iniquity to fit EN- for sich sin.-
why sed he, lido 700 think / use ali th
shot, hev? Not any. Them you've see
piled on were used because, being the top u
the pile. ANY quantity Nv yoor party escaT
me. Them fellows who are yet votin fl
! jackson I'll never git, and the most NV thel
ez alluz votes unscratched tickets will dodl
me. Their innocence protects EN-.
1t takes modritly smart man to be vishl
enuff to come to me-he hez to hev sen
enuff to distinguish hesweeen good and evi
cussedness enaf to deliberately choose Il
: latter, and brains enuff to do somethin startl
!, | in that line. Dan Voorhees, of Injeany, h
! all these qualities developed to a degree VII
! excites my profound respect. Between hi
: and Fernandy Wood its nip and tuck. Fe
E mandy did wicked things with moro neatn
than Voohees, but for actual love nv do
em, yoohees beets the world. 81 sed, CO
tnued he, ''that the war wuzn't NV much 700
J to me. repeat tit wuz damage. Afo
the war, Ihed my own way pretty much in t
: Southern States For every octoroon | CO..
y count on at least two planters, and under t
y patriarkle systum Nv Afrikin slavery witch
i the way, wuz..one. of my most brilliant conce
shuns), octoroons multiplied with rapid
pleasin to behold. But now alas the OCT
room bizness is done and my best holt is gou
d / hev some little hope, however. The Di'
: ocrisy are displayin vigger | didn't thi
% they possest RI they kin only git streng
10 enuff to elect the next President and re-. .esta
a lish slavery The thought fills me with U
10 utterable Joy. The redoosin of the niger
bondage agin wood give me clean title
evry last one who helped tod do it, and in 6
10 ten EN- back into their normal condishun
the way that's another phrase Nv mine) thel
be enuff slaughterin and murders to sati
: several sich Satans ez am. I'd help em e
Is knowd how, but can't improve on eth
: their speakers or writer's, and ea long es IN
y \ will do my work gratis, don't see
: ! yoose nv interferin,"
:. At this pint couple Nv small imps und
~ took to push me into the stream, and in
- struggle awoke. Ny dream wuz Ger b
but the impreshun remained. "ken it be
n. mused pensively, ''that we are doin the d.
de IFS work, and are we to be finally rewarded
no the manner l saw in my vision Ef
e hedn't better quit and repent p