The Bolivar bulletin. [volume] (Bolivar, Hardeman County, Tenn.) 1865-1888, 1866-04-07
LOVE AND LOVERS.
TfIE Philosophy OF ESG4GENENTs.

! z .
! At this stage of the momentous journey
of life--the stage where romance leaves OF
and reality begins--it becomes, absolutely
necessary to stop and hold a council with
| yourself and your own nature Throw over
all unnecessary weight, balance yourself NOR
ally aRd mentally, and take a good look
ahead. If you can divest yourself Of au5ht
bearing the resemblance of prejudice or
warped feeling do so--but the probability
is that you can't We are all bundles Of
habit and whim-we draw in extrane6u
thoughts and ideas with the very air we
bFeathe-and when we fancy ourselves most
judieially impartial, We are laboring under
the EXTREMIST mistake s-a--
Hold council with yourself, and make
up your mind. Of all enemies to love and
lovers, indeeision IS the most fatal and in
sidiOus-the rock to be avoided assyoJI would
avoid jagged headlands at sea- 1t is so
wretchedly easy to say There sno hurry"
Time enough yet" Wait and see how
things turn out" and all the other formula
with which existence is plundered out Of
half its sweetness. There is hurry, we say;
time is creeping away, taking life, strength
and vitality with il Has God given yOu
the.gOlden opportunity only that it may be
squandered In miserable prOcrastination
Do you owe no duties to society--to YOUR
self to the man or woman whom in your
secret heart you have recognized as the
counterpart to your own nature Don't sit
beside the highway balancing the pros and
cons, the good and the bad, until you becume
like a yacillating human pendulum without.
an atom of individuality Of your OWN. De-
eide, and decide promptly. i
If you are man, there Is even the less
necessity for hesitation. a In any matter con-
nected with your daily business life, you
would act with quickneSs and energy. Why
should you exercise less common sense in
the question of marriage " She has faults -
50 have you. Who among US has not Did
you expect an angel without earthly falh-
bihty or taint to fold its wings on your
hearthstone2 What sort Of a companion do
you suppose yogt would make for one Of
these fair, faultless angels Balance her
stock OF tailings against yours, and strike an
average at your leisure. g You may Fepent
when it is too late, Possibly--but If that
is the frame Of mind with which you enter
INTO the most solemn of all cOmpacts the
lady will be by far the most likely to repent
Repent When you have formed legal
copartnership with Peter Pounce for the
transaction of business, did you hesitate on
any such grounds as this When YOU take
a railway ticket for Chicago, do-you stand
lingering your bank-bilI and wonder wheth-
erit is possible you may not regret that you
hadn't gone to San Francisco? q? You argue 4
like the blind, besotted ATHEIST who has no
faith In the protecting love and care of Prov
ldenee. Can not yoH trust little to God ]
and the truth and. goodness of your 4awn ma 4
ture D If not you had a great deal better.
roll yourself up into a selfish chrysalis and
set, out on the long, long path of years alone,
with. nobody but yourself to grumble at and
criticised a- 80 afs saa.isI l..s a5ata,.. n
d But if, on the other hand, you are a wo-
fHa hY-iv, fr,f4 -ys
tally important step a womhnl can ever take;
we can see more reason IN a little hesita-
tlon--a shade of uncertainty. A man on
receiving the unWelcOme g no '-ean 90 into
a fguFatiye hospital until his wounds are
cured, and then try again; the woman whOyI
has refused him sits passive and alone, won
dering whether an unlOyinS marriage might
not have been preferable tOsthe estate of a
forlorn old maid it may be my last
chance" argues the woman, who feels that
she would be happier married than single.Ii
Do you blame her for a little vacillatiOn 2
Her entire life will most probably take its
light or shadow from the nature of the man
who becomes It's companion. If she is un-
happy in the union, she can not take refuge
in business or literature, or politics as her
husband can. With her it is literally for
better, for worse and the worse may pos
sibly be very bad l-l o ta a' Fl5 aI
10 all this confusion of doubts, fears, and
surmises we can offer but one clue Ask
your heart, frankly and honestly, and what
ever its verdict may be, decide according to
that verdict ra.l ~ -af1tG
And so, if your little double frcighted boat
encounters no insuperable obstacles, you
drift out of the great ocean of general soci- /
ETY. into the quieter though scarcely less
eyentful haven of engagement TT ia-Ei
Here we encounter another formidable
quicksand-that commonly phrased " long
engagements. We should sooner call it
short peace Of mind, or " slow dissolu-
tion," for 1t amounts to very much the same
thing in the end. We don't believe iR long
engagements-we Rever did believe in them,
and the longer we live in this world the
more reason we see to wis.s that they might
be abolished by act of Legislature Why
don't people do just like the birds Are
there any long engagements in blOssOming
May and fragrant June2 Gods younger
children, the birds, behave sensibly-they
take advantage of the sunshine, build their
little nests, and straighLway ''paIr Off They
don't put their feathered heads On one side
and say, g What would become Of US if there
should be an cast wind among our branches,
or an equinoctial rain 1t would be very
imprudent to marry without taking all these
things into consideration" And who ever
heard Of the birds reac aconing sagely, We
are never, sure of uninterrupted fine wealth
er-upon the whole it isn't best to pair of.
Net the birds are tenderly cared for. Is not
this a commentary on human sOlicitude and
trouble borrowing Are ye not Of more
value than many sparrOws - says the best
Judge Of human nature that ever walked up
on the earth.
After all, what is the philosophy Of good
sense in long engagements
Z" 70 know each other better, says the
would-be logiciau. Yes, but is there no
danger of knowing each other worse Does
not the business of knowing each other
better imply critical inspection and eau
tious study of character ? in short, n general
q arc you good d-enough-foF-meism, which no
human creature can endure without consci-
Gus disparagement. The longer people take
to " know each other better" the briefer be-
comes their chance Of happiness. 1t would
be possible to put faults In a saint if one set
ones mind resolutely to work to do it!
Moreover, the older and more caustic Opin.
ioned you grow, the less likely you are to
I odovf x-C,,vsalf aoeilyy and 71loaaoptfrr an,