Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1866-10-13
Nrw OnLrANs. Sept, gO, ls66.

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When / am "born again IF |
may be allowed to'speak paradoXi-
call and orthJdoXically Y at one and
the same timc---if the rc.borning,
or "ncw birth" 80 called, trarspircs
in this country, which was once
part and parcc Of the United States
of America, and would have re-.
maincd 80, even unto this day of
our lord, had not the Black Rcpub.
Leans discovered that it WIS not,
trust that before that cventful time
arrives several matters will have
undergone change for the better.
In order that this country may
straighten matters before my new
advent, will suggest several chang
cs that ought to be made.
1t is Il remarkable fact that fivo
women arc equal in size, whcp plac-
cd side by side, to eight men,
These feminine developments, how
ever, seem to have been entirely
overlooked up to date, by those who
have planned and executed "accom-
modatims," as they are improperly
called, for the sexes, while frequent
ing, in common, public places; 9TH
erwise, street cars, for instance, that
have room on either side tor eight
persons, would have the feminine
side heightened out thrce-cig
longer than the masculine side, and
thus equalizo the matter; and other
public vehicles would have borno u
like proportion.
1t is true, such vehicles would be
somewhat one-sided, but ncvcrthe-
less, when ease and comfort are ut
stake, symmetry should be sacri-
feed if need be, or, at least, play y
secondary part.
In those places for public-worship,
however, where the ladies have all
of one side of the house to- them
selves, and the naughty men are
compelled to arrange themselves
on the opposite side, the feminine
side need not, of necessity, be dis
proportioned to the other for tho
number of female worshippcrs can
be regulated in accordance with
prevailing fashions; that is, the
more expansive the hoops, the more
contracted, of necessity, will become
the "Amcns' and HallelJahs !!
A crusty old bachelor at my side,
who has been rQcking his brains un.
til his ideas have become stalled,
suggests that q new era should bo
Installed, and all plhces of public
of public resort stated, like odr
theatres, for instance, SO that cx-
pansivencss would be limited to
uniform proportions, regardless or
sex. The Insallant Tartar would
even have our street cars thus pdrt1-
toned off. h
Ifhc could have his way he would
have conductors standing in the
door way of each car, with numbers
corresponding with those ON the
fourteen or sixteen seats (clairs, if
you please and suffer no one to
enter after the numbers were all
appropriated.
1t is needless to state, perhaps,
that the old curmudgeon does not
own Il single share in amy City
Railroad Company, and hence has
no interest whatever in their divi-
dends. 3#I
Opposite to this single and indi-
vidual sits one who has been mar
ried so long that he has got accus-
toned to being crowded, and don't
mind it n bit. He has becomc so
expansive in his views that the
Airon tie" mon are trembling for his
safety. They may quiet their fears.
however, for he is so maliablc and
ductic, and withal possesses such
degree of tenacity, that until his
fortune is made he will continueto
beat the whole world selling drugs,
medicines and people, at NO. 20 ot.
Charles strcct-or his name is not
James, ,Gonegal
But started out to write a news
letter, and dwhere am /? Echo says,
"Whcre am? ?" The fact rs, there is
no news just at present IN our mar.
kct. We have got the cholera re
duccd down to three cascs-hard
cases-a day, and the yellow fever
reduced up to about five or six,
which prove fatal. The mortality
is small, however, whom compared
with the number of yellow fever
cases that are cured. = s~,
The business season has not yet
opened, but premonitory symptoms
are manifesting themselves, at homo
and abroad. Travel is on the in:
crease, as the hotel registers indi-
cate. The landlords are offering o
big reward for new arithmetic,
(they can afford it, as they havo
exhausted all the notation and nu-
mcration tables found in tho old
ones. 1t is to be hoped they will
eventually raise theif rents so high
tier ,cW be aut Of their o,en redcht
Then,will come the millennium we
CRESCENT CITY.
n ID..41x. = 49, Ia