Des Arc citizen., 1866-08-25


 About Ftt Mcn.---Our corpulent readers will not object if we say few words in their favor. 1t is said to be fact that no fat man was ever convicted of murder. Stout people arc not reyengcful, nor, as q general rule, arc they agiated by violent gusts of passion, To parade fat housebreaker in the criminal dock at the Quarter Sessions would be phe- nomenon indeed. The fellow who works with skeleton keys is generally a lean and wiry in- divdual, as he only can force himself through holes scarcely large enough to admit cats Imagine fat man doing theso things, aid then imagine him alarmed and running away with a policeman after him! Corpulcncy is not the sign of villainy, but rather of good na- ture and good will to all men.
 At the close of the war many dissatis- fled Southerners proposed to emigrate to Bra- gil. Some went. One of them writes to tLo New Orleans Picayune, and represents that going to Brazil ''is not what it is cracked ur to be-" He says: "I am man of seventy years old, and came out here to explore tho country and see the chances for emigration, and have no object in deceivng my people, a true state of affairs should De known, and not have Americans conre out here sud be reduced to pauperism which is the case of almost all instances. Dr. Blue is the only ono on his own settlement, and is q laughing stock here. lie IS Tn q state 0l StarFatlon. ---A clergyman was once sent for in tho middle of the night, by one of the ladies of his congregation. S'f
 '.Well, my good woman,' said he, you are very ill and require the coasolations of relg- ion "What can do for ydti?"
 No, replied the old lady, Fl am only nor yous and can't sleep" H
 'sIIow can help that?' asked tho parson.
 70, sir, you always put mcto sleep so nicea ly when I go to church, that thought if you would only preach little for inc .'
 The parson .made tracks,
 Ne wonder that travellers do not carry with them a little bottle of solution of perman- ganate of potass, few drops of which would speedily purify any water. friend of ours who has just returned from India, tells us he has derived the greatest benefit from its eii- ployment. At stations where thewaters were furbid, and smelled and tasted of decayng organic matter, he found that . few drops of the solution of permanganate made it, in q few minutes. as clear and sweet as spring water.-- Medical Times and Gazette:
 P1l for an Aching Hollow fooH Take half q grain each of opium and yellow sub-sulphu rate of quicksilver, formerly called turpeth mineral make them into pill, snd place it
 
 bedtme, with a small piece of wax over tho top, which, it is said, never fails effecting q complete cure. It was originally commuiiica- ted with many other medical receipts, by c learned physician at York.
 "A Paris banker was recently presented to Prince DemidofF, who, to prevent conyersa- tion from dropping, said: s.You have 2 beau tiful breastpin.n The banker delighted, for he was proud of his brcastpn, said, ''Yes, it is q very rare stone" Prince Demidof re- piled, ''Very rare and very expensive. You cant imagine the trouble I had to get my chim- ney pieces at St. Petersburg, for they are made of it." The banker turned as many colors as a dying dolphin.
 -An impatient Welchman called to his wife, 'Come, come, isn't breakfast ready! Eve had nothing since yesterday, and to-mor- row will be the third day' This is equal to the call of the stirring housewife, who aroused her maid at o'clock with, "Come, Bridget, get upl Here 'tis Monday morning, tomor- row is Tuesday the next day Wednesday, half the week gone and nothing done yet. :"
 An Irish glazier who sputting pane of glass in window, when groom who was standing by began joking him, by telling him to mind and put in plenty of putty. The Irishman bore the banter for some time, but at last silenced his tormentor by, "Arrah ! now, be off wid ye, or else I'll put pain in your head without any putty."