The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1866-04-21
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What is that which every one can divide, but no
one can see where it Is divided Water.
Why IS negro pedier like wine vault. Be.
cause he's dark seller (ceIlar)
Why Is conscience like the check string Of a car
rilge, Because it IS an inward check the outer
What is the difference between perseverance, and
Obstinacy: One Is strong will, and the other IS
strong wont.
Why Is the Chinese language like English mob !.
Because it Is composed OF such queer characters.
Why il a looking for the philosophers stone
like Neptune! Because he's king what never
was
In what city of the world do they have no lunatics'
Mud rid
What good reason can be given for dentists having
but few children for customers: Because the most
Of their sufferers gTOIH folks
lager-bier cellar must have "A depressing niu-
upon its customers, for their doon,Uard progress
(tO it) leads to Il bGSeHeat
\ Cobbler's Sole Support. In shoerents he finds
his alcl!
Having '' too many irons in the fire. has caused
many JeiIolcs from those who wish the ,cind
y DEAR CHANGE-From heng nation under the
rnle Of an old Buck, the South is now reduced TO
Stagnation-
Ii must be somewhere written that virtues of
mothers shall occasionally be visited upon the chill
dreu, we'll as the sins of the father.
Those are praisewcrtby Jewellers who would raise
the lowest part Of society the level of the highest
Scene IN AN EATING HoUsE-Irascble Gent TO
Waiteri) They say there's nothing like leather.
don't they:'' Yes, SIR - Then it's lie. for
this steak Is 80 (Waiter evaporates-)
\ good one is told of a Quaker volunteer who
in n Yirgini1 skirmish. Coming in pretty close
quarters with rebel, he remarked, - Friend. it's
unfortunate, but thee stands just where In going to
shoot and blazing away, down came secesh.
What are you doing with my microscope.
GEORGE" I've been shaving. father, and want
TO see if there's any hairs III the hther yet
At Old Gray Friars. EIinburg, we have:
Ho sS ss's 'ags a: al 1g s5as aa ny 50 %i sa 10 .@' ~
Everything has first cause, except perhaps some
few unIucky candidates for legal practice.
Those who walk the fastest in going to dinner
often walk 5Iowest in going back TO work
ANBIrGox, AvAKICE. Love. REvENGE-All these
Happiness. and her alone alas they are neither
presented her, nor will she come TO them She
dispatches, however, her ENJOYS TO them. 10 AmbI-
ton she sends power; 10 AvaTce, wealth; to Love,
jealousy; To Revenge, reuUrss-and what these
buS many ether names for yexntion and dsap-
Pointmeut-
When any complains. rs Diogenes did. that he has
to huut the with candles Gt MONDAY to find
an honest man. we are apt To think that his
ueighbor would have quite a. much difficulty as
himself ia making the discovery.
If ali mankind were suddenly partake themselves
to telling the truth and nothing but the truth. the
whole world would appear ~ have put on u mask
merely from having taken one gt.
An Iri.hmau's Speech - Och, Jamie. an did you
never hear my sPaach aiore the llibcrnian Soce-
" - No. Pat, how could :. for sure was not
the ground - Well, Jamie, you see was called
upon by the Hibernisn Society for spaach; and be
T,6erS rose with the enthusiastic cheers OF thou
sands: and tins Of thousands, with my heart over
flowing with gratitude. and my eyes toll Of tears,
and a dlviI of a word did spake -
S,Lr FOR TIE THROAT.-A person who has always
been a. sufferer from throat. and afflicted more
or les With a cough. recommends the use OF the fol-
lowing. Its easy TO try and certainly can do 10
harm If some tremendous quack with a building
I.ine stories high, and stories IN the newspapers
great deal higher, should put UP this simple remedy
in a disguised shape. the susceptible pubiIc would
probably rsy high price for the privilege of trying H.
Last fIIl induced try what virtue there
was III common s.IJ. We commenced by using II
three times a day, morning, noon and night. We
dissolved a large tablespoonful OF common salt IN
about half Of 2 tumbIer full Of Geld water With
this we gargei the throat most thoroughly just De-
tore meal The result has been that during the
entire winter were not only free from the usua!
coughs and colds q which TAR a our memory ex-
tends We have always been subject; but the dry
hacking cough has entirely disappeared We attrl-
butte it entirely the salt gargle, and do most
cordially recommend II To those Of our readers who
are subject to diseases Of the throat