davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25
An awkward Mistake,

A farmer who had bought calf from
q butcher desired him to drive it to his
farm and place 1t in his stable, which he
accordingly did. Now it happened that
very day that man with grinding or.
gan and dancing bear, passing by that
way, began their antics in front of the
farm. After amusing the farmers fami-
ly for sometimes, the organ man entered
the farm house, and asked the farmer if
he could give him nights lodging
The farmer replied that he could give the
man lodging, but he was at loss where
to put the bear After musing little
he determined to bring the calf inside
the house for that night, and place the
bear in the stable all night, which he did.
Now, the butcher, expecting the calf
would remain in the stable all night, re-
solved to steal it before morning; aud
the farmer aud his guest were in the night
awakened by fearful yelling from the
outbuildings.
Both got up, and taking lantern, en-
tered the stable when the farmer found
to his surprise, the butcher of whom he
had bought the calf, in the grasp of the
bear, which was hugging him tremen-
dously, for he could not bite, being muz-
zled. The farmer instantly understood
the state of the case, and briefly mention
ed the circumstances to the owner of
Bruin, who, to punish the butcher for his
theft, called out to the bear: "Hug him,
Tommy" which the bear did in real
earnest, the butcher roaring most hide
ously the whole time. After they
thought he had suffered enough, they set
him free, and the butcher slunk off glad
to escape with his life while the farmer
and his guest returned to their beds.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25
Marriage and Death.

The Newark Advertiser of the 18th
inst, contains the following announce
nents
Married-In Newark, on the 10th
inst, by Rev. L. r. Dunn, Frank Il.
McGoldrick, of Morristown, n j., to
Mary c., daughter Of the late Hon. P. A.
Cannon, OF Bridgeport, Conn.
Died.-At Newark, on the 11th inst,
Frank H. McGoldrick, of Morristo.n,
aged % years aud 10 months.
The Advertiser remarks upon the a.
bove as follows:
The circumstances of this case make it
one of sad and peculiar interest. 1t not
unfrequently happens that bride or
groom, soon after the performance Of that
rite which knits the dearest and holiest
of bonds, is suddenly taken away in the
midst Of health and new found happi
ness. Then the afiiiction is, indeed ter
rble to the bereaved, because unantcipa-
ted. But in the present instance, the
young man having returned recently from
the army, was confined to his bed from a
disease contracted in the service. Day
by day he sank visibly, and it was evi-
dent that his end was not far distant
In this extremity his affianced asked that
the marriage ceremony might be no Ion
ger delayed, in order that she might be
his bride though but for few short
hours-that for lifetime she might en-
JOY the mournful privilege of being the
widow of one who had so bravely served
his country. Under these circumstances
the marriage was eonsummated aud so
it comes to pass that between the we'd
ding and the burial there lies but the
breadth of single day.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25

In the Supreme Court of the United
States last week, Justice Clifford deliver
ed the opinion in the case of an appeal
from the District Court Of Wisconsin, in
which the Milwaukee and Chicago Rail-
road Company was the respondent. 1t
appears that certain mortsaged premises
were several times offered for sale but
were not sold, and that the appellant
claimed possession on the ground that be
was the highest bidder. But the Su-
preme binding obligations until the con-
sent of both parties is given in other
words, there must be mutual under
standing to definite agreement. As
the anctioneer may refuse to strike OF the
property to the highest bidder, so bid
may be withdrawn before the hammer
falls.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25
A gentleman in Alabama, in exerting him.

A gentleman in Alabama, in exerting him.
self, one day, felt sudden pain, and fearing
that his internal machinery had been thrown
out of gear, sent for negro on his plantation
who made some pretension to medical skill,
TO prescribe for him. The negro having IN
vestigated the case, prepared and administer
ed dose to his patient with the utmost con-
fdcnce of speedy cure. No relief being
experienced, however, the gentleman sent
for physician, who on arriving, inquired OF
the negro what medicine he had administer
ed 10 his master. Bob promptly responded,
.Rosin and alum, sir - "What did you give
them for!' continued the doctor. "Why,"
replied Bob, ode alum 10 draw de parts
,ogeder, and de rosin 10 solder um,' The
patient eYentuslly recovered.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25
Insane ASYLUM Outrage.

Another case Of conjugal and insane
asylum oppression and outrage has just
come to light in New York. A man of
some standing 10 the community, an in
veterate politician, some twelve years ago
married an estimable young lady, the
daughter of worthy old gentlemen worth
some $4,000 or 100000. Her father
died leaving her his whole property, her
mother being dead In order to get hold
of this her husband procured doctor
and two policemen to make afidavits that
she was demented and unfit to take care
of herself The husband was, indeed, by
his shameless proAlgacies and brutal op-
preston fast driving her to distraction
He tore her from her only child and con-
fined her in the Blooming dale Asylum
for two years. She escaped six months
ago, and with her son, started for her on
ly relatives, in Toronto She was track
ed thither, and fed to Buffalo, thence to
Cleveland, where she took service in the
family of a physician. She had been
there four months, giving not the slight
est suspicion of insanity, when, in the
absence of the physician, she was seized
and carried back to Bloomingdale. 1t is
expected that her friends will move the
matter to trial She is a devout Cath
olc, and by this means was in some way
discovered. 1t is said that there are be
tween thirty and forty women in the
Bloomingdale Asylum, who have been
placed there by relatives who wants their
property. "All that is necessary to con.
fine woman" says one of the New York
papers, sis the opinion in writing OF q
physician, and we have men of that title
here. who for a small fee would give any
opinion, or practice any fraud or crime. ;
Boston Traveller.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25
a Strange Wedding.

The ST Louis Democrat says that few
days ago Charles Moritz, returned sold
ier, being anxious to marry and settle
down, offered an acquaintance $50 pro-
vided he procured him person OF whom
he might make wife. The bargain Was
struck and Moritz's friend and few 9TH
ers determined to work practical joke
on the bachelor. They had boy dressed
up in a woman's clothing, introduced to
Moritz, who was pleased with the look of
the bargain, and arrangements being
made to that end, confederate joker
married the pair and received So from
the happy bridegroom for tying the knot.
Moritz also paid over SO for the we'd
ding supper and gave his bride hand
some present in money. The sudden
illness Of a sister called the bride away
from the wedding feast. Next day Nor
itz set out to hunt her up, when he was
told the whole affair was a farce He
did not regard the matter in that light,
however, and the parties to it are now in
Jail for trial on charge Of swindling.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25
A Plea for Insects.

Every one is more or less familiar with
what are commonly called Devils Darn
ing Needles. There are many species of
them to be found, some of them very
beautiful in color, and graceful in flight.
They are all voracious, and occupy the
place among insects that hawks and
eagles do among birds. But formidable
as they are among the minute beings that
annoy and encroach upon the interests of
mankind, they are perfectly harmless to
man himself They eat mosquitoes by
the million. They are, in fact, all use
ful, destroying "a vast number OF gnats
and other troublesome and destructive in
sccts. If you shut up dragon fly for a
short time in the house, he will destroy
vast numbers of mosquitoes, house flies,
and other flying insects, if there be any,
just as few toads in room will rid it
of bed bugs, cock-roaches, and other sim
liar vermin Therefore, never injure or
destroy these light and airy creatures
They do good, and not harm. They are
your friends, and not your enemies. The
lace winged flies generally are beneficial
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25

ny's parents more than | do him. Your
over indulgence was wicked aud you are
punished, as you ought to be.
Jennie-her name wds Jane-Jennie
played about the same game as Johnny.
She is fifteen years old, is posted in fash
ion, talks of nothing but style, is dressed
like queen, plays all the time, with her
mother for her servant! Poor dear ten
der Jennie, don't go out after that last
new hat, waiting you at the milliners,
your mother will 90 for it. You stay in
the house, with your shawl on, and she
will go out without shawl or overshoes
She can stand it To person of COM
mon seuse such picture is disgusting.
What the mischief, mother, are you 60
ing to do with that girl? There is moth
ing the matter with her, on ly you have
not given her enough of broom corn and
exercise. You had that exercise, in your
early days, and that is the reason you are
alive and kicking to-day, Why don't
you drill your girls as you were drilled ?
Jennie is on your hands, helpless thing,
and [ pity the man who volunteers to
take her on his own hands He will
find she has not had the training necessa-
ry to make happy home. I tell you
there is trouble ahead, and it will come
because you held the reins too loosely
The rising generation is all the hope We
have, for church and state, in the future,
but fear it is degenerating generation.
Parents, the fault is yours and in your
hands the remedy. Look at the danger,
tremble and reform.
I've done my duty, yours is plain;
Do it and all is well again,
If not on you and yours the pain.
ICHABOD WHACKHAMMER.
Somex here Jan. %, 1866.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25
NO. 46.
Mind The Door.

Did you ever observe how strong d
street door is ? how thick the wood is |?
how heavy the chain is ? what large bolts
it has, and what lock ? IF there was
nothing of value in the house, or no
thieves outside, this would not be need
ed but as there are precious things with
IN, and bad men without, there is need
that the door be strong, and We must
mind the door
We have house. Our heart and mind
is that house. Bad things are forever
trying to come in and 90 out of our mind
and heart | will describe some of these
bad things to you.
Who is at that door? All! | know
him it is Anger What a frown there
is on his face how his lips culver how
fierce he looks | will hold the door,
and not let him in or he will do me harm
and perhaps some one else.
Who is that 1t is Pride. How
naughty he seems he looks down on ev-
cry thing as if it were too mean for bis
notice. All wicked Pride l will hold
the door fast, and try to keep him out.
Here is some one else. l am sure,
from his sour look, his name is Ill-tem-
per. 1t will never do to let him in, for
if be can only sit down in the house, he
makes every one unhappy, aud it will be
hard to get him out again. No, sir we
shall not let you in, SO you may go away.
Who is this ? 1t must be Vanity, with
his Haunting strut, and gay clothes. He
is never so well pleased as when he has
fine dress to wear, and is admired. You
will not come in, my fine fellow we have
too much to do to attend to such folks as
you Mind the door.
Here comes a stranger. BY his sleepy
look aud slow pace l think l know him.
1t is Sloth. He would like nothing bet
ter than to live in my house, sleep or
yawn the hours away, and bring me to
rags and ruin. No, no, you idle drone
work is pleasure, aud | have much to do.
Go away; you shall not come in
But who is this? What sweet smile!
what kind face She looks like an an
gel. 1t is Love. How happy she will
make US if we ask her in Come in we
must open the door for you.
Others are coming. Good and bad are
crowding up Oh if men kept the door
of their heart shut, bad thoughts and bad
words would not come in and 90 out as
they do. Welcome to all things good,
war with all things bad. We must mark
well who comes in ; we must be watch
fnI and in earnest. Keep the guard =
Mind tho door mind tLo JoorI az.
thy heart with all diligence for out of it
are the issues Of life"
And would you know how to keep it7
Let Jesus in, and be will give you daily
aud hourly of bis Spirit. Behold" he
says, Il stand at the door and knock if
any man hear my voice, and open the
door, | will come in to him, and Will sup
with him, aud him with me."-Bapd of
Hope Review.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25

proved that our politics have at length
become so earnest as to compel public
men, to leave the stage. The Pierce
and Buchanan era is over The day of
popular effect, of acting solely for iDau-
euce on ''the people" f" of the headstrong,
clustering, thoughtless and superficial
craftsmanship is past-at least with our
leaders. We may now expect independ'
ent men in public places, even though
sometimes they are disagreeable to their
constituents.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25

VIM. Mines, Esq, an enterprisng Penn
sylvanian, enl citizen of Columbia county,
has purchased fifty-nine thousand acres otland
in the Shenandoah Valley, Va, on which are
three furnaces and forge. 1t is his design
to put them into operation Immediately.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25

Three venerable ladies' still survive
who were OF the choir Of young ladies that.
dressed in white, greeted Washington as
he entered Trenton in 1859, on his way
to assume the Presidency. aud who strew-
ed his pathway with flowers. One yet
lives in Trenton. another is the mother Of
the Hon. Mr.. Chestnut, formerly Senator
from South Carolina, and the third, Mrs.
Sarah Hand, resides in Cape May couu-
ty, n. j.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25

A Astepmother in Marengo, New York, lately
crowned long series of shocking abuses
perpetrated upon boy six years old, by
locking him in the house absenling herself
for three days. When she returned, with
her husband, the boy was dead, The neigh
bors went in and found the little creature
lying on bis heap Of rags, nearly naked and
frozen quite stiff
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25

Major Quattlebum, of Georgia, has ap-
piled for pardon. He ''rests his base"
on the fact that by serving four years in
the Confederate army as rebel wether of
a flock Of g'rillors he "helped bring the
thing to head and cxtiDguished slavery"
''If We hadn't fit about it." says the
Major, 'the damned thing would have
been the still"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25

According 10 governor Andrews mes
sage delivered TO the Massa chusetts Legisia-
ture. on the third instant, the war expandl-
lures of that State, including the liabilities
incurred by cities and towns for bounties
and other military purposes, amount to about
fifly-rix millions OF dollars.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25

The Gettysburgh National Bank last week
declared an extra dividend of so per cent,
free of Government tax. Since May last, a
period less than eight months the bank has
declared dividends to the amount of 6S per
cent. We rather wish we had few shares
in that institution.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25

The number of postage stamps made
by the National Bank Note Compa-
ny the past year, was about four hund-
red millions. The number of three cent
stamps used is about one million day.
The cost of printing, perforating, gum
ming and packing the stamps, is II cents
a thousand.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25

Pray, sir" said Judge, angrily, TO a
blunt old Quaker from whom no direct an
swer could be obtained, "do you know what
we sit here for!" Yes; verify, do" said the
Quaker, .three of you for four dollars each
day, nd he fat one in the middle for four
thousand a year."
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25

A shrewd preacher, after an eloquent
charity ST rmcn, said TO his hearers. 81 am
sfrsid. from the sympathy displayed in your
countenances, that some of you may give
too much / caution you therefore, that you
should be just before you are generous; and
wish you TO understand that desire no one
who cannot pay his debts to put anything in
the plate" The collection was large.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25

A thoughtless woman at Harrisburg,
to perpetrate a joke on an acquaintance,
informed her, while the latter's husband
was away, that he had been killed by
railroad accident She was so shocked
that she tainted, and two or three days
after died.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25
For The Jcfersonian.
Mr.. WHACKHAMMER'S LECTURES.
NO. V.
DRAW UP THE REINS.

Draw up the reins. there's danger near
Which you might see-with vision clear
If your affection did not rule
Der judgment in the parents school.
Draw up the reins ere it's too late
To shun The evils which await,
When your own offspring may declare,
Twas you dllo,oed the fatal snare.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25

A Judge said to topper on trial for drum
kenness, '.Prisoner, you have beard the COM
plant for habitual drunkenness; what have
you to say in your defense :" Nothing please
your honor, but habitual thirst"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25

The tailor makes the man r' emphati-
cally declared village philosopher
"No, Sir" replied y-stander, "it is
dress that makes the mau." Then what
does the tailor make ?" "Well, perhaps,
from ten to fifteen dollars profit on q
suit"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25

"How many rods make an acre ?" 3
father asked of his son, q fast urchin, as
he came home one night from the town
school. well, don't know, governor,
was the reply Of the young hopeful, "but
l guess you'd think one rod made an a
ere, if you'd got such a tanning as | did
from old vinegar face this afternoon"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25

One of the largest Shareholders in South
ern Kentucky has gone mad on account
Of the liberation of his slaves, and is now
an inmate of the lunatic asylum at Hop
kinsville, Ky. He owned over two hun-
dred negroes, and had accumulated by
their labor large fortune. He was prob
ably worth one hundred thousand dollars,
independent of his slaves
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25

A little girl in school, being asked
what cataract or waterfall was, replied
that it was hair flowing over something
she didn't know what.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25

Ialways advise short sermons, cspeshlly
on hot Sunday. If a minister kant strike
lie boring 40 minnets, he haz either got a
poor gimblet, or else he il boreing in the
rOng Billings.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25

A London hair-dresser has been con-
,icted of enticing young girls into his
shop and forcibly cutting Oft their natu-
raj tresses. That was the way he took to
keep his stock Of false hair supplied.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25

If you let trouble sit upon your soul like a
hen upon her nest you may expect the hatch
ing of large brood.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25

A strong effort will be made during the
session of the present Congress to repeal the
present tax on the incomes of individuals.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25

A crusty old bachelor says that Adams
wife was called Eve because, when she
appeared, mans day Of happiness was
drawing to a close.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25

It is estimated that thirty tons of white
paper are used daily in the manufacture
of paper collars.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25

A railroad track has been laid across
the Missouri River on the ice at Atchi-
sen, and trains cross regularly.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25

The proprietor of distillery in New.
ark, n. j., tumble9 into a vat recently,
aud was boiled to death.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25
VOL. a..
by Theodore ScbOeh.

TERNS-rwo dollars year in advance-and II no
aaid before the end of the yeaI two dollars ana hy
Ne n,ner ds@n1tinued until all arreaIages are paid,
i1cent the option of tho Editor .-,.,o-
.. -. o. tbrer insertions 81 50. Each additional
s.,,tisn 80 cents. Longer ones in proportion.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25

There are 100000 Indians in the United
States
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1866-01-25
SOB PRINTING,

OF ALL KINDS,
ExecuteS in he highest style of the Art, and onthe
most reasonable terms.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1866-09-27
A. STATIC CH.O & R A ~ r.
- PREVENTIVE AND CURATIVE.

The cause of Cholera is always found in a de-
ranged state of the digestive fluids, particularly
the bile which has been put in disorder by eli
matte or other atmospheric causes. The hillary
ducts are thus prevented from fulfilling. their
functions, and consequently the whole circua-
ton is thrown into disorder. The more, ones
system is thus deranged by unhealthy eatHbles;
or irregular habits Of living, the more easy will
we become the victims OF ASIATlC CHOh-
ERA. .... ... -.., l.r..E. y..-.r. d. F.. ...-.;
Asiutic Cholera is terrible complaint; it
takes its victims with rapidity unknown to any
other maady the slightest neglect agalnSlt Ism san
Yet Cholera is durable, like other Diseases
and in this Exir possess remedy Whlch Is
thousands of cases, particularly in 1850, in Ger
G and in the ch0ea ssseGi e; 5fsE Rn nst
has proved the use of PROF. WUNDRUM'S
CHOLERA ELINIR the surest preventive
against the malady. .:..fl,. :. -, 4a....
A large stock, imported directly from Germa-
ny, just received from the Custom House inNew
York Put up in Bottles oGtWo sizes, at 81 cts.
and S1.00 each. JANNE4 d 60, Ag' is,
aug lS-tr III d.. AS King street.