Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1866-11-23
51al6fgllaNGQnE.
MR.. Massey DREAMS A DREAM--A
JOHNSON KING.
CONFEDERIT X ROADS ;
(which is in the State NV Kentucky, :
October q, 1866.


(which is in the State Nv Kentucky,
October q, 1866
Dreams is only vouehsafed to persons Nv a
imaginative and speritoOl nacher, Nv whom
| am which. Their amt anything gross or
seasual about NE that | know Nv. TrOo |
--- r---l- IT. 4l-+ = to offset the etfcx of
whiskey, wich iftwasn 'tcouhterscfed, would
make me entirely too ETHEREAL for this grov-
elm world | eat pork to restrain my eXu-
berant imaginashun and enable me to come
down to the dry detail Nv ofh5h' lile-to fit
me for the proper discharge nv duties ez
postmaster. Whiskey lifts me above the
pesishun-pork brings me back agin It's
fat and greasy Ike the pay and perQuisites
Nv the postmaster-itc comes from the nasty
seuseless and uuclean Of animals like our
commishuns-in short ] recommend all Nv
johnson 5 PostmasteTs to eat pork It's
their material diet
Last mite I parto0k Nv pound or so too
much, and as a conscience, didn' tsleep well.
While I wuz eatin moistenin my lips with
Louisville consolation, the whilel, | wuz
musin onto Seward S question whether they
would have johnson President or King, and
while musin | fell in2 the arms Of M0rfus.
My mind bust loose from the body and sored.
Ez [ sunk t0slumber the narrow room wich
Is at wURst my offs and domitory, widened
and enlarged, the humble chairs became
suddenly upholstered in gorgis style, the
taller dip became multiplied in to thousands
NV gorgus chandeliers, the portraits nv his
Highness the President and the other Dem
ocrlts on the wall became alive | compre-
hended the situation to wunst Andr0o
johnson had cut the Gorgan knot with
somebody sword, and he'd carried out his
u. .,lsar- A, conclusion tta v~71v
King and wuz reigpiu under the title Nv
Androo the Ii and / wuz lin my dream NV
course, in his kinqlv halls
1t wuz, methawt, a reception mite His
Mightiness WIZ q sittin onto a elevated
throne covered with red velvet aud studded
with diamonds, and pearls, and onyxs and
other precious stGues-ontO his head WuZ
crown, and he wuz enveloped into a robe NV
black velvet his nose and the balance Of his
face geanin out like flash nv litenin from
a thunder cloud, Lyin PROSTATE at the
foot Of the throne, doin the offs Of q foot
stool, WuZ Charles Sumner, wunst Senator,
which wuz typiklg NV the complete triumph
we he'd won over eur enemies, while doin
other menial Offices about the walls, wuz
Wade, Wilson, Fessenden, Sherman and
others who he'd opposed the change from a
Republic to a Kingdom. They wuz clothed
IL an upproprit oostoon, knee breeches, and
slch, and presented pekoolyerly impOsin
appearance.
Carriages containing the nobility began
to arrive, and ez they entered the Grand
High Lord Chamberlin Nv the Pals, the
Marks von-Bandrll announct EN-. Dock
de Davis wuz ejackelated and Jefferson
entered. Earl Won Toombs, - Sir Joseph
Z, johnson" Marks de Bouregard' and
so forth.
Noticin that the titles | he'd heard wuz
mostly tackled to Southern men, | asked
Giddy Wells, who wuz standin by, why it
wuz thus and he said that Northerners
wuzn' RELY fit for it. We wuz, be said, a
low grovlin race and coodent adapt ourselves
to the habits Nv nobility. The South wuz
shivelrus aud Good do it. They wuz given
to tournaments and oich-they ned got ac-
custclned to circus clothes and could wear
sword without gettin it aWkwardly between
the legs. Northern men, sich ez were faith
ful, wuz allowed to barsk in the smiles of
royalty, but it wuz in such positions ez scott
ed their capacity. He, for instance, he'd
charge OF the royal poultry yard a position
which he believed he filed to the entire sat
isfaction Nv his beloved and royal master.
de he'd now four hens a sittin, each on four
OSS91 aHlA ne hOp0u IA the course Ol Two
years, ef there wuz no adverse circumstan-
ces, to hev fresh eggs for the royal table It
wuz position Nv great responsibility and
one which weighed upon him. Seward was
privy counsler, Doolittle wuz steward Nv
the household, and Thurlow Weed wuz
Keeper of the Kings revenue, and wuz
doin very well indeed
By this time the Company assembled.
His Highness wuz in a merry mood and
unbended himself Their wuz knot NV
the nobility gathered in a corner, and after
a earnest interview NV minnit, Count Van