The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1866-06-05
NUMBER ID.
HUMOROUs ITEMS.


"1fan earthquake were to enguIfs Eng.
land Tomorrow said Jerrold. atho Eng.
lish would manage to meet and dine some.
where among the rubbish, just to celebrate
the event."
A lady consulted st. Francis de Sales
on the !awfulness ofusing rouge. aWhy,"
replied the holy bishop, .'somef pious
men object to itiothers See no harm in it.
/ will hold middle course, allow you to-
put it on one cheek"
"Ah, Mr.. Simpkins' We have not chairs
enough for company" said gay wifeto
her frugal husband. "Plenty of chairs,
my dear, but little too much company"
he replied. g4N
There is man in Cincinnati taxed on
an income Of $50, 900 who eleven years
ago exhibited monkey in the streets for
a living.
A clergyman on one occasion received
no fee for marrying parsimonious coupls
and, meeting them several months after
in social gathering, took up the baby
and exclaimed: II believe Ilhave mort.
gage on this child" Baby's father, rath-
er than have an explanation before the
company, quietly handed over fve-dol-
lar bill. 8sJt
There are two reasons why you should
not interrupt an editor when be is wri.
ting. One is. that it isapt,to put him
out, and the other is, you might get put
out yourself. s.s...ss
ENGLISH NEwsPApERs.--Thsre are
! 1857 newspapers publishedin Great Brit
ain of which there are 226 in London;707
in other parts of England; 43 in Wales;
139 in Scotland; 128 in ireland aud ID in
the Channel Islands. 20 of those papsrs
are dailies, more than twice as many as
were issued in 1856. There are 537 mag.
azines published, of which 1876 are Of q
religious character. seraf
RATHFR HARD ON Maiden IA Spir.
itual circle was lately held in that town,
and what purported to be the spirit Of B
Baptist church member reported itself to
the medium. The following conversation
took place:
"Where are you living now7'' e
"In He'll"
"Indeed! isn'tit hard place to live
in?" IssaG4d Hasa
"Yes, but I would much rather live
there than in Malden!'' - fils,s'7oe
J. 4 ~
Frank" said an affectionate mother
the other day to a promising boy "if you
don't stop smoking and reading so much,
you won't care anything about work, .
I.Mothsr," /" replied the hopeful, leisurely
removing very long cigar, and tnraing
another leaf, Il have got 50 now, ,ss sss
didn't you tellme you could hold the
! plow9 said the farmer to an Irishman he
had taken on trial BE aisy, now says
Pat. "how could / hould it an two
horses pullin' it away? Just stop the era
turs and Ill hould it for ye :, aa7al -
The man who couldn't s.trust his feel.
Iings," is supposed to do business entirely
on the ''cash" basis. 4.
j As one single d.op Of black ink will
!. | tinge and pollute vessel Of chrystal was
ter, SO one little act of faithlessnsss may
), irredeemably poison a whole lifs.time oi
i the purest friendship and confidence.
i sl.hil iti Hs7a7 faf4s ef lid ed
Elder Knapp speaking Of long prayers;
once said: While Peter was endeavoring
to walk upon the wate. to meet his Mas.
rand was about sinking, had his suppl.
cations been as long as the introduction ts
one Of our modern prayers, before he goi
through he would have been 6fty feet an
der water. ssie sssi e'ss
1t is well to blush when yon are de-
tected in committing mean act, but FL
better to blush when you discover your
self thinking of committing such an act
. 1t is said that everything in nature hal
!. its equivalent; but we know of nothing
o that is equal to woman's curiosity.
II Can any one tell how men who absolute
!. ly cannot pay small bills, can always in,
plenty of money to buy liquor and trea
: when happening among their friends.
al Women are called the asoft sex, ), be
!, cause they are so easily humbugged. 0u
i lof one hundred girls, ninety Eve woul
ostentation to happiness.
II SOMETHING BITES. Alfonso Lombal
. ldi, celebrated aculptor to the Emperc
e Charles V. was great coxcomb. BE GO
: punished one day by lacy of Bologn'
y to whom be took it into his head to max
> love in a foppish manner. sa gsH s7.i
~ She was his partner, at ball, In th
midst of which he turned to- her, 40
hsaving profound sigh, said with far
a ltastic gesture:
ID "If It's not love I feel what is it?'
ID perhaps" said the young lady, "som
ie thing bites you" + :
;s s9rA colsred physician from Englsu
! located iI Columbus, Mississippi, la
I-.oL IL ......l 49,. e.....tso, l. .l