The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1866-04-17

and lett me IN luck. / am Wortn-iet
me see how much lam worth in bonds:
There are Of seven-twenties. ....... .$25,0 600
There are Of six-forties ........... $4,000
And the seven hirties . ...... 80. $4,000
100000
Now one hundred thousand dollars is
nothing, yet it is quite a little plum
When the war began / want worth a cop
per, unless it was in debts. Now | am
well off. But I am a. cunning cussl-
Didn't | make war speeches, and denounce
Democrats, and mob "Copperheads," and
go it strong for the Union? You bet!-
Ha-ha-ha-hal But the fools are not all
dead. Some of them are-that is, they
were killed. And didn't I get the poor
people to fight to preserve the Union?
Damn the Union, if I only hold Office and
get bonds. That's what makes the cream
elevate itself.
And then didn't I go in for bounties,
and go it strong on patriotism and play it
big on loyalty? Guess not! Oh, mol
Guess patriotism don't pay! Look at
these little fellers with figures on their
face and these coupons on the end of
them! How are you, my suffering coun-
try?
1t takes a smart man to keep out of
war himself and entice others to 60. The
bounties is what fetched EN-, poor foolsl
You see they went to fight.
From all the towns, cities and counties
To war they went to get the bountiesl
Some were' killed
And some were wounded
Some were shot
And some were drownded!
And some, when s.this cruel war was
over came back. l had a farm. / sold
it and it aud put my money in bonds
Bonds beat farms ten to nothing! And l
speculated in %"things." And 1 sold stuff
to the soldiers. And I..got their bounty
money on shares. And l filed town
quotas and made a nice little haul by that.
And / put my cash in bonds.
Bonds are just old rosewood with gilt
edge. Let me see. I have now one hun
dred thousand dollars in Government
bonds. How love my Government
It is the best the sun ever shone onl
These bonds average me eight per cent.
interest in gold. Eight per cent. on one
hundred thousand dollars is just eight
thousand. And l get it in gold, worth
thirty five to forty-fve per cent, premium.
This makes in ~greenbacks the snug little
sum Of eleven thousand dollars-round
numbers.
And the beauty Of it is I don't have
one cent of taxes to pay.
Ism I ii nice?
This is the best Government the world
ever saw. Rich men hold bonds-poor
men pay them. The tax-gatherer don't
bother me. 1t don't cost me one red cent
to-let me see!
To pay state expenses!
To pay government expensesl
To pay county taxes!
To pay city taxes!
To pay village taxesl
To pay town taxesl
To pay school taxes!
TIE pay road taxes!
To pay poor taxes!
To pay for building churches, school
houses, bridges, railroads, Improvements
or wen INTEREST,"
| am one Of the supporters Of this
Government Good thing! If il had not
been for such loud mouthed stay-at-home
guards, the wal never would have been
ended. And the soldiers bounties. E'cod.
that is the best Joke of the season.
You see we raised them by taxation of
course. And we taxed the property-the
real estate of the town. And we issued
town bonds, city bonds, county bonds.
state bonds, and.every other kind of bonds.
And we sold 'em dog cheap to get the
money to pay the bounties. And us fell
lows bought the bonds at a discount
And we gave the volunteers money to 60
to war. And while they were gone We
had a good time. And we sold our farms
cheap to the wives of the soldiers. And
We got our bounty money all back.
And better still! The soldiers came
back from war and are now working to
pay the taxes to pay interest on my bonds!
Ism 1t mces
The id fools went to war, and now
come back and work like dogs to pay US
the interest on the bonds we sold TO give
them money. They are paying themselves
for getting shot at. Bully for as bondhol-
ders!
And now they work to pay the interest:
When they get used to it we'll make EN-
pay the principal tool Whata good gov
eminent this is!
The wa didn't cost me one cent. I
didn'tspill a drop Of my blood-but key
rhist, how I did bawl out against:the
Democrats!
And now I sit in my parlor-I smoke
my cigars-I drink my wine-I enjoy
myself, and have no taxes to pay. Look
at that poor cuss across the creek! He
amt worth a thousand dollars, yet he,
poor dog, is in debt, and pays half his
earnings in taxes. He pays all the taxes,
and then his wife sells butter, eggs,wool-
en- yarn, milk, vegetables and such little
things she wants,to get the money to put
in the bank to pay me the interest on my
one hunnred thousand dollars, as it falls
due every three months.
You see this is financial science! Poor
men support the Government, pay all the
taxes, make us richer, do all the fighting
Us bond holders, ofice-holders and such
patriots, do the figuring, get the Offices,
the money, and have a good time of it.