The Camden weekly journal. [volume] (Camden, S.C.) 1865-1866, 1866-04-06
The Man who wont pay
the Printer.

pAS Nav he have sore eyes, and chest
mt burr for an cye-s+one.
Nav his boots leak, his gun hang
fire, and his fishing line break.
Nav one thousand Nightmares trot
quarter races over his stomach every
night. oo+onod with
flies, and his sauce seasoned with spl-
Nav he be shod with lightning, and
compelled to wander over gunpowder;
Nav he be bored to death with board,
ino school misses practicing the t1rst
lessons in music, without the privilege
of seeing his tormentors.
"John," said 4 grocer to bis clerk,
"did you say that three dollars OF that
earrencv was counterfeit? 2"
eyes, sir; and if you'll come to the
drawer / will show you which are genus
inc and which arc not"
ut is no matter, John; l don't want
TO know let them remain mixed up with
ehe others; and, John I think that milk
will bear an extra gallon of water, tbs
morning; and the whiskey, too' John' IS
too high proof, still"
"But, sir, l reduced it yesterday as
you ordered"
"Never mind; it will bear one more
oallon to the barrel; and, John, a little
more sard in that brown sugar vii! not
be noticed; and, John, mix more oil tEat
pea and bean coffee with the old govern,
ment Java. l approve of our people
using home products"
John was somewhat amazed, but he
couldn't afford to lose the situation.
There is girl in Troy whose lips arc
50 sweet that they stick together every
morning by the honey they dlstlli, and
she cannot open her mouth until she II has
parted her Ii ips with silver knife. She
will lie a treasure to her husband, not
onlv on account of her sweetness, but be-
cause she can occasionally Keep. her
mouth shut.
An Irishman describes metaphysics
as ssTwo men talking together, one OF
them trying to explain something ne
knew nothing about, and the other 'ln-
able to understand him.,
What musical sign does an oath
from the ips of an efeminate top put
Won in mind of? A demme quaver.
Why do the recriminations of mar
1ied people resemble the sound OF waves
on the shore.s Because they are mur
murs of the tied
MIR. 81. Weisman recently married a
Miss Farthing. He asked for tarth-
ing and received assent IA cent?
A lady from the country was made
seasick by witnessing one Of the storm
scenes at the Boston Museum.
Jink's says if marriages are made in
heaven he is sorry for it, for very many
alliances reflect no great credit ON that
place.
What sort of throat is best for a
singer to reach the high notes with ?
A soar throat,
The pawn-broker's favorite time Of
year-the season Of Lent.
Wanted-some of the beer produced
when mischief is brewing"
When house is destroyed by fire,
does it burn down?
The art of bookkeeping is taught in
one short and easy lesson-don't lend
them.
"Pl be round this way in minute %
as the second hand said to tho pendu-
lum.
The race that shortens its weapons
lengtheps its boundaries.
Which is the most precions of flow
ers? The primrose.
Duty itself is supreme delight when
love is the incentive to labor.
There is gal herabouts with such
red head that everything goes of
that it touches. Matches are superlu-
GUS when she is about.
IF you would woo'a lady and are too
timid to speak, squeeze her hand.
Ifyour neighbor's offence is rank, dc
net let yours be rancorr.