Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1866-01-17
QDblo(J . St,a:lt1:e's:;rItIr,t1a',rr.lI,.,: t,:l1:' :;ItIt1 ~:
Jim Smiley and His Jumping Frog.
BY MARK TWAIN.

.
Mr.. A. WARD-Dear Sir:-Well, | call
ed on good-natured, gaTrulous old simon
Wheeler, and inquired after your friend
Leonidas w. Smiley. as you requested me
to, and i hereunto append the result. III
you can get any information out OF 1t you
are welcome to it. / have a lurking suss
picion that your Leonidas w. Smiley is
myth--that you never knew such persont
age, and that you only conjectured that II
asked old Wheeler about him It would
remind him OF his infamous Jim Smiley,
and he would 90 to work and bore me near
ly to death with some infernal "Reminiscences
of him as long aud tedious as it should be
useless to me. -If-that was you design,
Mr.. Ward, it will crafty you TO know thai that
1t succeeded. -,...-.-rf ...,7.t,.
I found Simon Wheeler doing comfort
ably by the bar-room stove of the little OLD
dilapidated tavern in the ancient mining
camp Of Noomerang, and noticed that
he was fat and baldheaded. and had an ex-
preston of winning gentleness and sim
plicity upon his tranquil countenance. lie
reused up and gave me good day. i told
him friend of mine had commissioned me
to make some inquiries about a cherished
companion of his boyhood named Leonidas
w. Smiley-Rev. Leonidas W. Smiley--a
young minister of the gospel, who ne
heard was once resident OF NOomerang.
added that if Mr.. Wheeler could tell me
anything about this Rev.. Leonidas w.
Smiley, would feel under many obliga-
tions to him.
Simon Wheeler backed me in a corner
and blockaded me there with q chaiT--and
then sat down and reeled off into the
monotonous narrative which follows this
paragraph. He never smiled, he never
frowned, he never changed his voice from
the quiet, gentle flowing key to which be
tuned the initial sentence; he never be-
trayed the slightest suspicion of enthusl-
asm-but all through the interminaoie
narrative there ran ayein of irrepresslVe
earnestness and sincerity which showed me
plainly that so far from his imagining that
there was anything ridiculous or funny
about his story. he regarded it really as inn
pOrtant, and admired its heroes as men oil
transceDdent genius in tinesse. 10 me the
spectacle of man drifting serenely along
| through queer yarn without ever smiling
was exuusitely absurd. AS | said before,
asked him to tell me what he knew of Rev
Leonidas w. Smiley, and he replied as fol-
lows. let him go on in his own way, anu
never interrupted him once. ..
There was a feller here once by the name
of jim Smiley, in the winter of '40-or 4
may be it was in the Spring of '5O--l don
recOllect exactly, somehow though whal
makes me think it was one or the other Il
because remember the big tlume wasn'
finished when he first came to camp; bu
any way he was the curiosest man about
| always betting on anything that turned up
i you ever see, if he could get anybody Il
| bet on the other side, and ifhe couldn't het
4 change sides-anything that suited tn
4 other side suited htm-any way Just So
he got bet, he was satisfied. But still ~
\ was lucky-uncommon lucky; he most al
ways come out winner. He was Away
ready and laying for a chance--ther'
couldn't be no solitary thing mentioneI
but that feller'd offer to bet on it--ant
take any side you please, as was just tell
Il ing you; II there was horse race, yout
find him flush, or you'd find him busted a
the end of it; if there was a chickel
fight he'd bet on it; If there was dol
fight, he'd bet on it; if there was a cat fight
he'd bet on it; why, If there were two bird
sitting on fence, he would bet you whicl
one would fly first~or If there was CAM
meeting he would be there to bet regla
on parson Walker, whom he judged 3
be the best eXhorter about here, and so h
was too, and good man; if he even saw 4
straddle-bug start to go anywheres, h
would bet you how long it would take hir
| to get where he was going to-, and If yo
took him up, he'd follow that straddle-bu
to Mexico but what he would see where h
: was bound for and how long he was on tn
road. Lots Of the boys here has seen ths
Smiley and can tell you about him. WHY
itnever made no difference to him, he woul
bet on anything-the dangdest felle
Parson Walkers wife laid very sick one,
n for a good while, and it seemed as if the
wern't going to save her, but one mornin
he come in and Smiley asked him how sh
was, and he said she was considerable bel
! ter-thank the Lord for his infinite mere
and Jim Smiley, before he thought, sayi
: 'I'll resk two and half that she don
q get we'll" 10 ho- 'H'.H sle4a ~
This yer Smiley had mare-all the boy
: called her the fifteen minute nag, but tht
y was only in fun, you know, because,
: course, she was faster than that-and
used to win money on that horse, for sf
was so slow and had the asthma, or the di
temper, or the consumption, or somethin
! of that kind. They used to give her two
three hundred yards start, and then pa
! her, but always at the fag end of the RAJ
, she'd get excited and desperate like, al
: come cavorting and spraddliDg up; al
/ | ScaULer10R 06r legs dFOuHu IIdlUofy SOui
t times in the air, and sometimes out to OF
side amongst the fences, and kicking .
! m-o-rle dust, and raising more rack
with her coughing and sneezing and bloy
ing her nose-and always fetch up at Il
stand Just about a neck ahead, as near
:, you could cipher 1t down. na4o o. h'No
y I Aud he had little small bull pup, tn
! to look at him you'd think he wern't woTs
Iacent but to sit around and look 0ner
and lay for. a chance to steal somethin
But as soon as money was up on him
was a different dog-his undeflj AVID beg
J to stick out like tue foreeastle of stean
\ boat, and, his teeth would uncover, al
4 4 shine savage like furnaces. And a o dc
: might tackle, him and throw, him over b
shoulder two. or three times, and Andre
! Jackson--Andrew jackson was the pnp
y name--Aiidrew Jackson, would never Il
Q on but that he was satisfied, and hadn
! expected nothing else-and the bets beip
s doubled and doubled on the other sid
. allsthe time, till the money was, all up, an
: then all of sudden he would grab the otl
? er dog just by the joint Of the hind leg at
Y freeze to it-not chaw, you understand, bl
d only Just grip aud hang on till theyqthrov
q ed up the sponge, if was a yeaga Smile
e always came out winner 90 thatpup till
7 harnessed dog once thatIdidn't have az
l- hind legs, because they d been nrsawed. off
| :. kkr. H.