The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1866-11-29
serans, d8atts and eaaltties.

-.Tn what color shonld q secret be
,Aeps2 "In violet"
H. The worst organ-grinder-a hollow
Aooth that plays the deuce.
= Rule for editors and ladies--short
articles for warm weather.
.i1s- IF q small boy is called lad, is it
proper to call big boy a ladder2
s1s-- An author is queer animal; his tail
t(tslel comes cut Of his head.
Never lend money to q man only
four feet high with the least expectation
that the,wm pay you. He is always short
When. is the best time to read the
book ofnature? When autumn turns the
leaves.
Why should there be no free seats
in church, Because you ought not to be
good for nothing.
Is there any connection at all be-
tween akilling time" and "instant execu-
: tiony rs
49, A fat candidate for Office in Ala
bama, who is said to weigh 372 pounds
asks the people Of his district to try him.
- aI have passed through great hard
Ships as the schooner said, after sailing
through q feet ofiron-clads. (
Reader, did you ever'enjoy the costa
tic bliss of,courtingp If you didn't then
get little gal-an-try. ~
- Some people see cause for laugh in
the fact that Florence Marryatt has dedi-
Gated her last novel, entitled "Too Good
r.. bo, bnc
~ --- We should give as werecieye, cheer
fully, quickly, and without hesitation, for
there is no grace in benefit that sticks
:: to the fingers.
"Mike, why don't you fire at them
ducks, aboy-don't you see that you have
got the whole drove before your gun"
IT know 7 have, but when 1 get good
: aim at one, two or three others will swim
right up betwixt it and me-"
"A Connecticut pcddler asked an old
lady to whom he was trying sell some ar
ticles, If she could tell him of any road
that no peddler had ever travelled. 81
know of but one, and that is the road to
heaven" Yas.the reply.
"A Maine editor says he connot imagg-
inc ewhen editors have a leisure time, "un-
less it is after the ferryman carries US
over Styx, and then we havo no doubt
but that the old fellow would besiege US
fora puff on his boat" $50 -
One editor in Georgia asks another
: siwhether he can bite the bottom of q fry
ing-pan out, without shutting his nose r
~ = When Baltimore lady is kissed,
sEaiIa saws she is taking chloroform, and re-
!, mains insensible as long as the operation
lasts.
AN Irish soldier called out to his
companion: :.
iHello, Patl I have taken prisoner"
.'Bring him along. then; bring him
alongP
ssHe won't come"
nThen come yourself"
e; vsiHe won't let me-"
y - "Say, Billy, what have you done
with that air sorril mare of yourn?"
ssSold her." said William, with q smile
of satisfaction. ~
"Woed you git~
uHnnd'd an fifty dollars cash down"
sHow! Hundd an fifty dollars tor that
old kickin' spravin critter? Who'd you
sell tof'
3. stSold hor to mother"
s.as-Some weeks ago, during severe
thunder storm, lady friend was telling
: the children not to be afraid, that God
held the thunder in his hand, and would
not let it hurt them unless He thought it
for the best. She had hardly concluded
when o loud clap was heard "There,
now says fourteen-y year old, "God has
let go Of it, and gone home out OF the
rainw sr .,-...
"A dispute arose between two Scotch
men, named Campbell and Mclean, upon
the antiquity of there families. The lat
ter would not allow that the Campbells
had any right to rank with the MoLeans
in antiquity, who, he insisted, vera in ex-
istance as clan since the beginning of the
world. Campbell had little more bibi-
cal knowledge than his antagonist, and
asked him if the clan of the McLeans was
before the food.
: dFlood what flood ?" asked Mclean.
aThe food, you know that dronwed
everything in the world but Noah and
his family" said Campbell,
"Poohl you and your food" said Nc
Lean "My clan was afore the food"
"I have not read in my bible," said
Campell, "of tho names of McLean going
into Noah's ark"
0Noah's arkp retorted Mclean in de-
rision, "Who ever heard of Mclean that
hadn't boat of his ain 2"
- Custom without reason is no better