American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1866-08-01
NUMBER 80
Kiver up Stranger.r

Frrr
There is spot in the soutbeaster,
part of Tennessee known as the aFierv
Fork of Honey Run" delicious local..
ty, no doubt, as the run of ahoneyDi is,
OF course, accompanied by correspond
ing flow OF milk and honey, or, al any
rate, honey and peach is the evidences
OF sublunary contentment in every place
where they have preaching l.. "Honey
Run is further. christianized by the
presence of an extremely hospitable fam
lily, whose mansion, comprising one apart.
ment-neither more nor less-is renown.
ed for being never shut against the tray
eler, and so our friend found il during
the chill morning air at the expense Of a
rheumatism in his shoulder, its numer-
Gus unaffected cracks and holes, clearly
showing that dropping the latch was
mere formality. The venerable host and
hostess, in their own apartment, usually
enjoy the society oftwo sons, two daugh-
t7rs,suEdry dogs and niggers, and as many
dodgers as may deem prudent to risk the
somewhat equivocal allotment Of sleeping
partners. e1t'l isi'ls
On the night in question, our friend,
after hearty supper of ham and eggs,
and canvass of the Fiery Forkers-the
old lady, having pointed out his bod
felt very weary, and only looked for an
opportunity to "turn in," though the
mosquitoes were trumpeting all sorts of
wrath, and no net appeared to bar thsm.
The dogs flung themselves along the floor
or again rose, restlessly, and sought tho
doorstep; the niggers stuck their feet iin-
to the yet warm ashes; the oldpman strip
ed unscrupulously, and sought his share
of the one collapsed-looking pillow, and
the sons cayalierly followed mis- example,
leaving the old woman, girls and straug-
or to settle any question of delicacy that
might arise. js} a tinu.f4
The candidate yawncd, looked at his
bed, went to the door, looked at the
daughters; finally, in downright reck--
lessness, he seated himself upon tho
"downey," and pulled off hisasoat a9i
Well, he pulled off his coat, then ho
yawned, and then he whistled, and then
he called the old lady's attention to the
fact that it would never do to sleep in
his muddy trowsers, and then he undid
his vest, and then he whistled again and
then suddenly an idea of her lodger's
possible embarrassment seemed to fash
upon the old woman, and she cried:
"G ais, just turn your backs round till
the stranger gets into bed ,"
The backs were turned and the stran-
ger did get into bed in less than no time,
when the hostess again spoke: -
Reckon, stranger, as you amt used
to us, you'd better kiver up till the gals
undress, hadn't you P''aw 1oia971' eds
BY this time our friends sleepy fit was
over, and though he did "kiver up," as
desired, somehow or other the old eoun.
terpane was equally kind in hiding his
bushes and favoring his sly glances.--
The nymphs soon slowed away, for there
were neither hoops to unhitch nor cor
sets to unlace, when their, mamma, evil
IDENTIFY anxious not to smother her guest,
considerably relieved him: 1iaai i.it
"You can unkiver now, stranger; I'm
married folks, and you amt tafeared Of me
! reckon % .t..f. . .+s1.w
The stranger happened to be "married
folks" himself; he unkivered, and turn
ed his back with true connubial indiffer-
ence, as far as the ancient lady was con-
cerned; but with regard to the gals. he
declared that his half-rased curiosity in
spired the most tormenting dreams of
uermaids that ever he experienced.
"A Teacher in one of tho primary
schools at Brookfeld, Iowa, the other
day, found among his list of Juveniles
one who was constantly engaged in some
mischief, and at the same time was given
to swearing. Having utteied an oath in
violation of the teachers rules, he order
ed the aforesaid juvenile to take his pace
in the corner Of the old ricketty school,
house, :and placing pair Of old fashion
ed iron tongs in his hand, ordered him to
watch hole in the floor until he, should
catch . mouse, supposing it would be a
great punishment The little urchin
gazel steadfastly at the aperature, while
the teacher, with his face turned from
him, was engaged with heother sch GLARS.
At last he heard the old tongs 60 bangl
He turned his eyes quickly upon the
youth, who, with countenance beaming
with excitement, yelled: "Master, I've
got the darned little cuss."' and, true
enough, he had Mister Mouse fast by the
hoad VI 4afa.in vgs.lfs s5sF Ia as