Litchfield enquirer., 1866-11-22
From Me Toledo Bladt
 MASSEY.

MASSEY.
 MR. NAsRY DREAMS A DRAMA JOHNSON, KING.
 CQNEEDRT X ROADS,
 (which is in the Stait of Kentucky.)
 October M, 1866.
 Dreams is only vouchsafed to persons nv imaginitive and speritoal nacher. uy whom am wich. Ther aint anything gross Q, sensual about me that know uv. Troo I eat pork, but that is to offset the effex uy whis- wieheftwasn' 'tceunteracted, t wood make me entirely too etherial for this grovelin world. eat pork to restrain my exhuber- ant imaginshun and enable me to come down to the dry detail uv offis1 life to fit me for the proper discharge uv my dooties ez Postmaster. Whisky lifts me above the posishun- pork brings me back agin. Its fat and greasy like the pay and perqnisi- tes uv the Postmaster-it comes from the most nasty, senseless and unclean uv ani- malls, like our commissions short. I recommend all uv Johnson's Postmasters to , eat pork. Its ther nateral diet. @ bd
 if Last nite I partook nv pound or so too much, and ez 8 conscience, didn't sleep well. While I wuz eatin, (moistnin my lips with Louisville consolation the while,) : I .wuz muslin on to Stewards question wheth- CT they would hey Johnson President or King, and while muslin fell in2 the arms of Morfus. My mind bust loose from the body and sored. Ez sunk to slumber the marrow room wich is at wunst my offs and my dormitory widened and enlarged, the ! humble chairs became suddenly upholster- ed in gorjus style, the taller dip became multiplied into thousans of gorius chandi- leers, the portraits uv his Highness. the President and the other Democrats on the wall, became alive. I comprehend the sit uation to wunst. Androo Johnson had cut the Gorjan knot with someboddv's sword, and he'd carried out his policy to its nateral concloosion. He wuz King and wuz reignin under the title of Androo the I and l wuz (in my dream uv course) in his kingly halls. -
 It wuz, methawt, reception mite. His High Mightinese wuz sittin onto elevated throne covered with red velvet and studded with diamonds, and pearls, aud onyxs and other precious stones-onto his he'd wuz a crown. and he was enveloped into robe uv black velvet, his nose and the balance ny his face gleamin out like flash nv lite min from 2 thunder cloud. Lyin prostrate at the foot uv the throne, doin the offs uv arfootstool, wuz Charles Sumner wunst sen- ator,. wich wuz typikle uv the complete tri- umph We he'd won over our enimies, while doin other menial offices about the halls, wuz Wade, Wilson, Fessenden,, Sherman and others who he'd opposed the change rom a Republic to Kin gdom. They wuz clothed in approprit costoom, knee breech- es and sich, and presented pecolyerly im- posin appearance. .a
 Carriages contasning the nobility began to arrive, and ez they entered, the Grand High Lord Chamberlin uv the Palis, the Markis von Randall announct em, 'Dook de Davis, , wuz ejuckelatid, and lief ferson entered. 'tEarl Von Toombs," ;" "Sir Joseph B. Johnston '' ''Markis de Boure- gard, Count de Pollard, " and so forth.
 Noticin that the titles had heard wuz mostly tackled to southern men, I asked Giddy Welles, who wuz standing by, why 1t wuz thus, and he said northners wuzn't really fit for it. We wuz, he said, a low grovhn race and couldn't adapt our selves to the habits of nobility The South WIZ chivelus and cood do it. They was given to tournaments and sich-they had got accustomed to cirkus clothee, and cood wear a sword without its gettin awkwardly between the legs. Northern men, sich ez were faithful, wuz allowed to barsk in the smiles uv royalty; but it wuz in sich posi- tions ez sooted their capacity. He, for an instant, he'd charge uv the royal poultry yard, position wich he believed he filled royal master. He he'd now four hens set- tin, each on four eggs, and he hoped in the course uv two years, eff there wuz no ad- verse circumstances, to hey fresh eggs for the royal table. It wuz position of great responsibility, and one wich weighed upon him. Seward wuz privy counsler. Doolit- tie wuz steward uv the household, and Thurlow Weed wuz keeper uv the Kings revenue, and wuz Q doin very well indeed. r3 By this time the company assembled. His Highness wuz in merry mood and un- bendid hisself. There wuz knot uv the nobility gathered in a corner, and after an earnest interview uv a minnit, Count Won Oowan advanced to the foot uv the thrown and on bendid knee demanded boon.
 "What, my faithful servitor, dost thou most desire?'' sed His Highness.
 'tWe wood, Your Majesty, hey the priso- 2 ners nv state brot into the presence, that we may make merry over en-" 1rti5
 V tsIt shel be done" sed His Majesty, and forthwith Baron Won Steedman, who had | command uv the Kings Household Body Guard, wuz sent for them. In moment they wuz brot in. They wuz mizable looking set. Forney and Wendell Philips chained together, Fred Douglas and Anna Dickinson, Dick Yates and Gov. Morton Ben Butler and Carl Shurz, Kelly and Co., avode, while Chase wuz tied to Norris Gree ly, onto whose back wuz placard inscrib- ed, '"The last uv the Tribunes," at which Raymond, who left the Radikels and de- i clared for the empire at precisely the rite time, and was now editor uv the Court Jour- nal laffed immodritly. Some one exclaim- ed, f'Bring in Thad Stevens" at wich His Majesty turned pale and his knees smote together, Don't don't" sez he, ''he's . strength enuff left to wag his tongue Keep him away! keep him awayp and he showed ez much fear ez men do in delirum tremens when they see snakes .-
 Methawt made inquiries and found that things wuz workin satisfactory. Gen Grant wuz in exile, and Gen. Sheridan he'd bin decapitated for refoosin to acquiesce in the new arrangement. She country he'd bin divided into dookdoms and earldoms and sich, over wich the nobility rooled with undispooted authority. The principal men Suv the North he'd been capchered and sub- dooed, and wuz fllin menial positions in the palaces uv the nobility No Lord or Dock or Earl considered himself we'll serv- ed onless he he'd 8 half dozen Northern