American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1866-10-24
From the London fuAeh, 1epteitsE
Artemus Ward at Sbakspeare's

: -
ffg Tomb.
lMr Pmeh. Ny Dear Solve been
.hngerin by tho tomb of the lamentid
Shakespeare.
/. 1t is success.
/ do not hesitate to pronounce it as
such.
You may make any use of this opinion
that you see fit If you think its publ
cation will subswerve the cause of litter
atoor you may publicate it.
told my wife Betsy when left home
that I should 60 to the birthplace OF
"Otheller" and other Players. She said
that as long as kept out of Newgate she
didn't care where went. "But," said,
adon't you know he was the greatest Poit
that ev er lived? Not one of these COM
mon potts, like that young idyit who
writes verses to our daughter, about the
Roses as growses, and the breezes as
ilowsas, but Boss Poit, also aphiloso-
pher, also man who knew a great deal
about everything"
She was packing my things at the time,
and the only answer she made was to ask
me if l was going to carry both of my
red flannel nightcaps.
Yes, I've boen to Stratford onto the
Avon, the birthplace of Sheakspear.-
| Mr. S. is now no more. He's been dead
over three hundred (300) years. The
people Of his native town are justly proud
of him. They cherish his memry, and
them as sell picture to pat into their Al
biom. .f.t
As stood gazing on the spot where
Shakspenrc is s'posed to have fell on the
ice aud hurt hisself when boy Cthis spot
cannot be Bought, the town authorities
say it shall never be taken from STRAIT
ford } | wondered if three hundred years
hence picturs of my birthplace will be in
demand. Will the people of my native
town be proud of me in three hundred
years? | guess they won't short of that
time, because they say the fat man weigh.
in one thousand pounds which exhibi
ted there was stuffed out with pliers ano
cushions, which he said, one very ho'
day in July, "Oh bother, l cant stand
this, and commenced pulling the piller:
out from under his weskit, and heavir
'om at the audience. | never saw mar
lose flesh so fast in my life. The audi
ence said was pretty man to con'
chiselin my own townsmen in that way
| said, " Do not be angry, feller- citizens
I exhibited HIM simply as work of art
I simply wished to show you that mar
could grow fat without the aid of codlive
uii.n But thay wouldn't listen to me-
They are low and grovein set of pee.
ple. who excite feelin of lOathin in ey-
cry brest where lofty emotious and orig
inal ideas have a hidin place.
l stopped at bennington few mint
on my way to Stratford onto the Avon
and very beautiful town 1t is. | wen
1 into a shop to make purchis, and as
entered l saw over the doog those fam j
lar words, "By Appointment, II. Il. H.
and | said to the m n, Squire, excuse
me, but this is too much. have seer
in London four hundred boot and sho
shops by Appointment, II, r. H.; and nov
y21t're at it. 1t is simply onpossible tha
the Prince can wear four hundred pair
Of boots, Don't tell me-" | said, in
voice choaked with emotion" Oh, dt
not tell me that you also make boots fc
him. Say slippers-say that 20 mend
boot now and then for him; but do no
tell me chat you make en- reg'lar 70
him"
The man smilt, and SAID | didn't un
derstand these things dc said per
udpS Hdu IOL uOltCStA III Ifonuuu iHd
dealers in all sorts of articles was BY Ap
pintment. / said, Oh, hadn't I?"-
Then sudden thought fasht over me
al have it p said "Wfen the Prime,
walks through a street, he no doubt lock.
at the shop windows"
The man said, No doubt"
And the edterprisin tradesman,"
continued, ''the moment the Prince get
out Of sight, rushes rantically, and hai
a tin sign painted, BY Apartment, II
r. II 1t is a beautiful, great idee ?
| then bought PAIR of shoe strings
and wringin the shopman's hand | start
ed for the Tomb of Shakespeare in hireC
fly. 1t lookt, however, more like spi-
der
And this,'' | said, as | stood in the
old church-yard at Stratfoid, beside {
tombstone, ''this marks the spot where
lies William w Shakespeare Alas and
this is the spot where -"
=" You've got the wrong grave = said {
man-a worthy villaeer: Shakespeare il
buried inside the church"