The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1866-12-21

oecum me to speak, but [ may be ex-
coos'd for mentionin' that the Institoot
parsed resolution that, "whether we
look upon the length of this essay, or the
manner in which it is written, we feel
that we will not express an opinion on it,
and We hope it will be read in other
towns"
Of course the essay I writ for the So
clal Science Society is more 6nisheder
production than the one on Cats which
was wroten when my mind was crood
and atore L had mastered graceful and
ellygant stile Of composition. | could
not even punctuate my sentences proper
at that timu, and observe with pane, on
lookin over this effort of my yooth, that
its beauty is in one or two instances
marred by ngrammaticisms. This was
unexcusable, and Pm surprised l did it.
A writer who can't write in grammerly
manner better shut up shop.
You shall hear this Essay on Animals.
Some day whom you have four hours to
spare LII read it to you. think you'll
enjoy it. Or what will be much better,
it | may suggest-omit all picturs in
next weeks Punch, and not let your
contributors write anything whatever
Let them have a holidy; they can go to
the British Mooseum J and publish nv
Essay ontire. 1t will fill all your columns
full and create comment. Does this
proposition strike you? Is it go?
In case | had read the Essay to the
Social Sciencers, had intended it should
be the ciosin' attraction | had intended
it should finish the proceedins. think
1t would have finished them. | under.
stand animals better than any other class
of human creatures / have very AMI.
nal mind, and I've been identified with
EN- doorin my entire Professional career
us Snowman more especial bears,
wolves, leopards, and serpunts
The leopard is as lively a animal as I
ever came i'll contack with. 1t is troo he
cannot change his spots, but you can change
'em for him with paint-brush, as l once
did in the case of Il leopard who wasn't
naturally spotted in attractive manner.
ln exhibitin' him | used to stir him up
in his cage with protracted pole, and
for the purpose of maxim him yell and
kick up in Jeopardy manner, | used to
'casionally wback him over the head
This would make the children inside the
booth scream with fright, which would
make fathers of families outside the booth
very anxious to come in--bccause there is
a large class of parents who have uncon-'
trollable passion fer takiu' their children
to places where they will stand chance
Of being frightened to death.
One day | whackcd this leopard more
than usuil, which elected remonstrance
from tall gentleman in spcetacles, who
said "My good man, do not beat the
poor Gagged animal. Rather fonde him."
I'll tondle him with club" I an
swered, hitting him another whack.
81 prithy desist,' said the gentleman
"stand aside, and see the effect of kind
ness. / understand the idiosyncraucies
of these creatures better than you do.'-
With that no went up to the cage, and
tbrustin his face between the iron bars,
he said, soothinly, 'come hither, pretty
creetur." The pretty creetur come.
hithered rather speedily, and seized the
gent man by the whiskers, which he tore
off about enutf to stuff a small pin cushion
with.
lie said, "You vagabonc, I'll have you
indicted for exhibitin dangerous and i'm
moral animals"
replied, "Gentle sir, there isn't u
animal here that hasn't beautiful moral,
but you mustn't tondle 'em. You mustn't
NEEDLE with their idiosy
The gentleman was dramatic cricket,
and he rote article for paper, in which
he said my entertainment was decided
failure.
As regards Bears, you can teach EN- to
do iLterestin things, but they're unrelia-
BILE. | had very large grizzly bear once,
who would dance, and larf, and lay down,
and bow his head in grief, and gave
mornful vale, ctsetry. But he often an
noysd me. 1t will be remembered that
on the occasion Of the first battle Of Bull
Run, it suddenly occurred to the Federal
soldiers that they had business in Wash
| ApStou "h'Sn ouSho uoO W bS ueBltcteu,
and they all started for that beautiful and
romantic city, maintaining rate of speed
durin the entire distance that would have
done credit to he celebrated French steed,
Gladiateur.
Very naturally our COMMENT was deeply
grcvcd at this defeat, and l said to my
bear, shortly after as | was givin exhi,
bitiou. in Ohio, said: "Brewip, you are
not. sorry tho national arms has sustained
defeat" His business was to wall dis.
NAL, and bow his head down, the band "a
barrel organ and wiolin) playing slow
and melancholy moosic. What did the
grizzly old cuss do, however, but COM
mence dancing and larfng in the most
joyous manner. l had a narrer escape
from being imprisoned for disloyalty. 1
will relate an, Their incident in the career
of this re'chid bear. used to present.
what | called in the bills A Beautiful.