Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1866-10-27
THE GATHERER,

age they Gu, US.
Warfare is the worst kind of fare for .
man to live on.
Why is rheumatism like . glu.tou p
Because it attacks the joiuts.
II you wish to get rich, get married.
when was ever honey made with one bee
in the hive?
When is blow from a lady welcome :
When she strikes you agreeably.
How to prevent flies from getting at
your bacon in summer Eat it early in
spring.
The man who took our advice has lust
brought it back again.
What kind of leather would a naked
Moor remind you Of. Uudressed Morocco.
What thing is that which the more We
cut it The longer it becomes? A ditch.
You are a queer chicken, as the ben
SAID when she hatched the duck.
Fortunes made in no time are like
shirts made in no time; it is ten to onn,
it they hang together.
A lazy fellow, lying down on the grass.
said, 'Oh, how 60 wish that this was
called work, and we'll paid for''
You may wish TO get wife wi,bou. a
failing but what ii the lady, after you
hnd her, happens to be in want Of hus-
band OF the same character
All the women of the villages on the
shore Of the Gulf Of Mexico, are in the
habit Of swimming The Jouug ladies
are all divingbeIes.
1t is certainly true that zone swallow
does not make summer but with some
persons half dozen s~ allows, when the
liquor ls good, are q very summary thing
iEuped
Brother Editor tells Us that when he
was IN lrison for libclIing a justice of the
pace, be was requested by the gosler TO
give the prison puff.
1t has been said that it must be easy to
.-~-L :~.~ -" Old ...au'e house. becnuse
has giant IS broken end bis locks are lew.
We vnow girl so industrious that when
she has nothing else to do The kui!s her
bro~s.
gallery at the Paris exhibition ;s to
he devoted to human skulls. That will
te the Bona pdve.
II some mrn had their limbs broken
they would be crippes for life; their
bones would be too lazy to knit.
Upon the marriage Of Miss Wheat Of
Virginia, All editor hoped that her patch
might be ho~ry, and that she might never
be thrashed by her husband.
Daring an exAmination, n medical stu
dent helng asked, ~ hen does mor,ifca.
ton e'sue?' he led, When you pop
the qres 1on aud are answered, No.
Mary, is your master at home?' mo
sir, he's out. Il dou't believe it,
"W"lt, then, hn'll c me down an tell you
h'ms"it. Perhaps you'll believe him."
"Betier to be alone than iu bad com.
pany, True, but unfortunately, many
Eersons are never IN such bad company
as when they are alone.
lady, in paroxysm of grief, Was
sald TO shed torrent OF tears Poor
thing remarked an uufeeling punster,
she must have a cataract in each eve"
Il say, boy, where does that right hand
road 90 I" 7" inquired pedestrian of q
country rustic. Il don't know, SIR" re-
piled the boy ;"laint been nowhere else
since we lived tere.
A man hearing Of another who was q
hundred years old, said, con,enpsuously,
'Prhaw what a fuss shout no,hiugl Why
it my grandfather was alive, he would
now be hundred and fifty years old!
Il say boy, is there Anything to shoot
about here p inquired q sports sman Of q
boy he met. "WeIl,% was the reply.
"uoth'ng just about here but the school.
master rs down the hill youder-you can
pop him over
A German writer says a young girl is
a fishing rod, the eyes are the hook, the
smile the bait, the lover the euieeon,
and the marriage the batter in which he
Is tried. What VII! The gi.s say OF tha.
German?
Has the cookery book any pictures ?"
- o.
Miss, none. was the answer "Why,"
exclaimed the yourg LADY, "wbat is the
use of telling Us how to make good din-
ner if they give US no ptates"
An lrshman. who was brought up in
Police Court charged with whipping hi,
-e"Ai"g wife. claimed that he was guilty
of no offence. and that be was acting in
~, ~ ~
the Board of Health. Sure, your HONOR
said he to the judge, II was only boting
u nuisance
A person was recently called into court
Tor the purpose OF proving ihe correctness
of doctors bill, was nsk' d BY the lawyer
whether ":he doctor did not make several
visits after the patient was oo, Of danger.
mo, replied the witness, II considered
the patient in danger as long as the doc.
tor continued his vista.