The weekly Butte record., 1866-08-18
LOCAL NEWS.
For the BUTTE RECORD.
MISCELLANEA
BY WALTER.

commenced final chapter, in which it m y
intention to have disposed of my characters to the
best OF my ability. and had completed the greater
portion, when 81 Biz called for my presence else
where, and in response to the call was unwilling
ly constrained to discontinue the narrative, and
leave our oftmentiened heroes in most unenviabe
predicament. To give the whole affair in nut
shell; their surprise and capture they were con-
Quoted in trium umph to Yuba city. and after an in
generation of ten days, brought before tri-
bunal convened for the express purpose of investi
eating their object in making raid on Sutter Co.
border. They could offer nothing in extenuation
of the atrocity of their crime; they were found
guilty of violation of neutrality laws and SEN
fenced to six months hard labor on the Dutch
Flat Railroad. l was speaking to one of them the
other day, and he cursed his unfortunate lot in be-
ing expatriated and condemned to live exile and
convict in such God forsaken region. 1t was
his unds guised intention TO commit suicide the
first opportunity, by swallowing bottle of Dutch
Flat lightning.
MOSQUITOES.
These horrid insect are perfectly ferocious
where am now sojouring. They manifest a
peculiar affection for me and every time they
insert their keen ncisors into my tender delicate
flesh, the crimson starts in rich streams. I
had no idea that there was so much frst-class
blood in my veins before came to this part of
the State. must be scion of nobility, for the
blasted animals vulgurly denominated Mosquitoes.
pursue constantly in herds of about ten millions
each, ready to 'pitch into my succuent hide
whenever opportunity presents If l made any
pretensions TO proficiency in Natural History, |
should either class the mosquitoes among carnivor
Gus animals or write the vampire tribe And if
there were any realization of wishes, would want
to belong to the thick.skined division myself,
wherever these blood thirsty insects to be found.
am prepared to make affidavit, that have
been defrauded out of ten gallons-more or less
of superior crimson since my advent to where am
ai present located.
SMUpGE.
1t has been maintained that, man is the only
iaurgiring animal. don't believe it I owned a
jorg once-coon dorg you know.-that if he did mt
larf made as close approximation to it as some
lazy mortals I've seen. I've been amused behold
ing the Ridiculous attempts made by some men to
excite their risbilites, when it was Just as i'm
possible for them TO produce good hearty. side
splitting laugh, as it is to get milk from a turn
mp 1t wasn't so with my canine. Laugh
YOU bet hed laugh or | don't know anything about
cachinatory science. He had an abbreviated nara
tie about inch and three-quarters in length;
and when he'd was his upper lip. and utter sound
resembling the grinding of pebbles. you'd swear
he the most tickled dorg In existence His
intelligent countenance was continually Illuminated
by sort of devilish, malicious, grim, that remind
ed one of Captain MARRyArr's "Dos Fiend,' or
BILL SKIES dog in Oliver Twist. 1t was when
occupied in catching the feas which hourished in
abundance in his thick shaggy wool, tina, his grin
wore its most malignant expression. When the
aforesaid troubeome insects were engaged in feas-
ting on his luscious hide that hideous grin deepen
ed into an angry snarl that said as plainly as words
could, Beware. ye foul backbters"! called my
wonderful dorg 'Smudge" had many reasons
for calling him. the principal one being, that
his name. Not far from my domicile lived an
elderly dutchnlsn. Now though have never been
animated by any particular partiality to elderly
dutchman as a class still some how or another my
coon hunts were invarahle in the direction of the
elderly dutchmen's residence. There was always
rousing fire on the hearth-it was winter-cider 3,
applesass. and wanuts the table, TO say no.
thing of picked pig feet, souse milk and variety
of little nick nacks which the dutch know so well
how 10 fix. and are SO fond of All had almost
forgotten. there was katharna Katharine had blue
lips, red eyes. and long fair hair, making most
remarkable mixture of the Red White and Bue.' y
Katharine had a delightful fashion of saying thing
wrong end foremost something of my own style,
by the way-and she had such rich accent that it
was impossible to get tired listening to her
Smudge was perfectly aware that all my coon hunt
ing expeditions were regular huulbugs- He never
took a single coon, and when started out. even
the coons seemed to understand the " lay. for
they would pay no more attention to our presence
than we did to theirs and there was every egidence
of the friendly feeling existing between my dorg,
myself, and the coons. Snudge generally found
companions of his own kind at the du;chman's and
uproarious were the times they had outside, while
masters were luNuriating inside. Surely was
enjoying life but all joys here below are transient
There is more real pleasure in the anticipation Of
enjoyment. than IL the actual realization Nv
of fun was unfortunately destined to have
most sudden termination. had heard the ancient
female dafchman-of whom hitherto mentioned
no,hing-decla re that "hatharina makes tinss fy
ven she gifts mat" hu; never had the least con.
SCiuN>uS>> OF Tue entire lruSl ana SguluSali0u OF
the assertion rnti one gkt Saudge and his friends
in ht of hilarty, got after pet cat, and wholly
oblivlous of hospitalities snatched two wa VS. for
Sunday, and pulled poor Tabby into roman
fiddle strings. Ny buxom katharine heard the
muss and made a split for the scene Of action
Your bold coon hunter followed on the wings of
Cupid and Oh. re Great Hearens,-Lore. pure
dutch would not suffice. The enraged damse sail
ed into the English; and such English. Description
beggared-l will let the attempt severely alone-It
is enough to state that rapidly descended from the
wings of cupid, and boiled after Smudge. Ny
visits shortly after were discontin ned Suudge
feel victim TO an eazased mamie had been the
cause of my misfortnues, and he paid the penalty.
concluded that Ks:arina was too strong minded
4 for my delicate taste. gradually became
sstranged, and at this period of my writing, VI
merely bid each other the good day, when we meet