The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1866-03-16

4 a
.n,oad upon the credulity, not TO say igno.
rance, of the people, and no trick or eoh'ri'
vance for fraud and imposture was too extra
VACANT to find unsuspecting victims.
with one kind of treatment or another, and
with the various nostrums of the charlatans
and swindlers, the people have been success
fully attacked In every part of their bodies.
To touch only few of the specialties ana
their heroes In this never ending war upon
mankind, there was HALsrgAp, who kneaaea
| the abdomen HUNTER, GREEN, ana + 'i'h
seized on the lungs WILLIAMS and IVRNbuL"
tho evas aud cars WISE the head, &c. These
are only in modern times. HALsrkAp III
nroxed tho tone of the stomach and eniiVened
a.. ,or,s,.,t,c motion of the belly. lie
,r.ssaa aud fingered man like an organ, ana
I ;,royad the general tone and energy OF MS
,nnsic FlrcH blew up his lungs with MS
hreatbing pipe and old BANNING, (another Oh
! tho allied army, braced him by his bandages'
WILLIAMS, loculist to her Majesty Queen VIC
ropI.. 10 Louis PHILIPPE, King OF France
| and 10 the Emperor of Russia,) was rous ola
knaye who cured weak eyes and restored
HEARING. Large. solemn, and deliberate I'D
anpearapce and movement, he assumed
weight of interest and care for humanity that
gave him the look of martyr. Wrapt Ill
anxious reflections concerning wicked gene
ration il seemed TO be grossly irreverent TO
d;sturb him And when he was disturbed,
| how blandly and patronizingly did he
/ cat aside his meditations TO attend 10
! Won particularly when the matter IN
/ hand related to his own especiai pecu-
MARY interest This pious gentleman the
very impersonation of benevolence, humanity
and religion procured the gratuitous use OF Il
cburcb wherein to treat the poor without
CHARGE The Door flocked to see him. Ihey
had found a friend at last! He treated tnem'
| His gratuity was the impaired information
! that they were badly off, and that he could
cure them, For the cure the poor paid that
cure which was never wrought. WILLIAMS
denarted-he went, followed by curses, but
carving his pockets full of money. People
wondered that so much seeming could hide so
much yillainy, and people will never cease
wondering in this way. WILLIAMS got, in MS
rounds. TO Cincinnati, where CHARLIE HAM
yoyp. of the gazette, skinned him alive. He
instituted suit for libel, and feigned mortal
offence till he squeezed all he could out OF the
eyes and ears of the people and left the city
and the suit
! TrRxBuIL was another precious humbuS'
With his watch trick-his watch almost dumb,
and his great turnip that licked as sledge
hammer ticks on the anvil, Holding the
former to the deaf man: "Do you hear 1t!
very loudly. Patient responds, " NO "oh
very deaf-yery deaf" Then comes the pump
| ing in the ear, the rubbing of ointment, &c
This is followed by the application of the old
sledge-the knave DO you hear IA
| tient ecstatic "Oh, yes, distinctly. You
| see ladies and gentlemen, there's an improve
ment Sore or weak eyes enters-posslply
| a,,,ourosis The Doctor can and Willie never
! couldn't or wouldn t-cure anything: goes
| through some manipulations and ahomtlhgs-
| takes patient TO the light-if sunlight, all the
better. Patient sees something, and hope sug-
gests the possibility of even curing "m""roS'S'
| The venerable charlatan is also pious, sigh
ing hypocrite, yet, in lonely moments, dalnhS
people for having the longest ears and blindest
| ewes of any people on earth He, too, goes OH
! amidst the curses of Il deluded people-whlch
are to him nothing, as he has their money
| WIsEs amusing career Is perhaps best
| remembered. He put plaster on the heao'
! and recommended II straw hat. There was q
regiment of bald heads who wore the hat IN
and ont and at dinner, and III bed Ihey
| were WIsE's regiment They meekly sub
mitted in hope of the full head of hair which
never came.
Falling to the other extremity, the radical
corn doctors have kept up perpetual RAD
anon society. The extracted corns have hardly
time TO be followed by another crop be-
| fore another doctor, like social govt,
| attacks YOU in the toe. So constantly Is
/ the war kept up there that man seems ia be
vulnerable chiefly i'll the toe, instead OF Inc
heel, and the chiropodist, DR.. SCHrLTz, the
renowned resident protector Of this field OF
| operations, is unable TO secure the crop OF
corns from the ruthless invader.
/ We could fill columns of comment upon the
| humbugs we have known to be played upon
unsuspecting people. Humbugs that cost
thousands of dollars TO many that are Ill able
! to pay. And if there ever was man or
woman who saw better, or who heard better,
or who was cured of an ache, or who was I'M
proved in lungs or otherwise by the practice
of the travelling humbugs, the fact Is uh-
known to us, or, we believe, to any one else'
! And vet man learns nothing; or II he does,
| it is only that man who has been decei'eo'
His wayaing to others is of no weight. Ihere
| is always fresh crop TO be deceived Inc
fools never all die. The charlatans know TINS.
TURNDuLL and FITCH could each come back
now and gather rich harvest of greenbacks :
The impostors play upon weaknesses and
vanities of society. They assail the unguarded
points, and win. Most men have pet all
ment-some fear heart disease-some have
found they have "lngs "-others bronchia-
some Observation-Disclosures are afflicted with
nerves ''--some are losing sight-others hear
ing-and each man nurses his complaint, dis
trusts the resident physician, and longs for the
appearance of some accomplished scientific
man to restore him to health and happiness :.
| The strolling swindler is not slow in coming !;
nor is he in going leaving the sick no better,
and relieving him, by mistake, Of his money
| ms tead of his disease
| Appealing to mystery and to poetry drugs,
and plants, and connections, from far off lands,
whose healing influences were discovered by
Indians, sorcerers, and aged physicians
"whose sands of life are nearly run out, are
urged upon the afflicted. Pebbles from Brazil
| and Australia are 10 bring the beauties of the
world TO eyes erewhile blind and were the
eyes in Australia or Brazil, the pebbles would
! be from Scotland, from the Andes, and,