The Shasta courier., 1866-03-24
SHASTA COURIER
Teutonic Anguish.

A few years since the country remembers
that steamer, the Lady Elgin, was lost on
the trip from Chicago to Milwaukee, and
about three hundred persons on board were
drowned. The first report was that all had
persisted, but several escaped and returned
to their homes after an absence of from one
to three DAYS. There lived at Milwaukee at
that time burly German named Triheister
Dotswinger, who rejoiced in three corner
ed lager beer saloon, an eight square vrow
and an oval faced cherub Of eighteen sum-
mers, boy by nature, Schneider Dotswinger
by name and graceful as a young bologna
sausage in all its pristine bloom.
Schneider coaxed his two derivatives to
90 on the ill-fated steamer. News came
that she was lost The anguish stricken
Teuton in paroxysm Of grief called on US
in the editorial rooms to inquire about his
boy We told him informed all
were lost, and of course his boy was goner.
He seated himself pile of books and
thus held forth:
Mein Gott-mein Gott, Mr.. Bumroy, It's
ALWAYS. shust so as it never wash since it wash
30. und knows EN- have so mooch droob-
les dis day as never wash since make start
nit mine lager peer grocery. 1t is siust SO
all der time, und feels so pad all dolcn here
NIT mine pellyl Let us go and make some
lager peer drink, nnd | dels you pout dat
Schneider what shust now lost me in ter
Lady Helshin
We accompanied the grief stricken one to
a saloon where lager was held forth, and
over glass of beverage he thus continued:
Now Mr.. Bumroy, mine heart be auska
spielt (played OUT. l make so mooch loves
yer dat Schneider as vot no man never makes
for his poy Use had so much trooble nit
him doc. Ven he was un fae leedle poy,
fat shust like un leede pig he had so much
worms ash no poy never had und it dakes
more as zwei barrels.of goot lager peer to
get dat poy out Of des worms. Take some
more peer Mr.. Bumroy.
Und den my friend, be makes take ter
leedle meesels, and goomes out all over in
un solid leetle sphots shust like un popy vot
is so freckled as never wash, und it cost me
more as doc tollers to get dat Schneider
away from dem spheckles. Und | makes
play nit him on der vloor und have such
fun sphanking him as never wash, und den
he makes much grow, und goes out ter door
ven he wants too, shust like nopody. so it
does bis poor ladders heart so mooch goot to
watch him you never saw Take some more
peer Mr.. Bumroy!
Und den he make grow shust like notinks.
Und he gets so pig in his leedal sthumach
like his fadderl Und shust like his mudder
doc. lie vas shust sach boy as never
wash Und he makes himself grow big, und
be drinks SO much lager peer as his fadder,
und he is so much help in mine grocery
He draws peer so goot as | does, und | sits
all ter dime seeing Schneider draw peer, und
smokes my bipe to shleep all ter wiles :
Und now veels so pad down here Take
some more peer Mr.. Bumroy.
Und now dat Schneider vas gone make
himself drown on der Lady Helshin! He
vosh so goot poy as never wash, und | must
make myself get un odder little Schneider
shust like him. | deel you Mynheer Bum
roy never make myself vehl 50 pad since
dat poy vas nothink!
just then the door opened and in came
Schneider living witness fresh from the
disaster, brought up by Dennison on the
cars.
Oh Mein Gott, there CO, mes dat Schnei
der Jumping up. Oh Schneider, tamr
rascal, kiss your fadder Coon to youl
poor ladders arms? They embrace. Now
take some lager peer NIT your fadder. Go
kiss your mudder, you tamn rascal Here
kiss your fadder you tamn rascals vat drown:
der Lady Helshin; und you tamn rascal
ven YOU next goes nit der Lady Iielshin to
ride, you sthay here und sell lager peer, ant
lets your poor fadder 20 have funs not by
tamn sight. Oh, Mein Goot how / make.
love dat poy I'd rather find fifty toltar,
in gold as drown him nit ter steamboat