The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1866-09-07
Two Interruptions.

Then, bY.and.by, an excited individual arose and
after securing the attention of the company declared
il to be his solemn opinion that the wine owing
too freely He thought the peaches ought to How
The hint was taken, and although the flow Of wine
stopped not, inside of two minutes peaches were
scarce commodity, except In the immediate vicinity
of the plates and palates
At the extreme end OF the table, and opposite the
Chairman, sat William v. Mexican, ESQ., OF the
Public Ledger. When this latter gentleman thought
the vicIualling process had gone far enough, he
arose and said that a bottle. no ding contest would
be in order. and that it would be conducted ac-
coIdIng to the following rules, which he had been
instructed by the Committee to promulgate:-
Rules OF the up. p. g." in Festivit Asy-
sembled.
Rule l. Every person called upon for speech is
Obliged TO respond, except v hen the person so
Under such painful circumstances he Will be reluc-
family excused.
kue2 Every one who so speaks is expected to
say some thing, provided always that he is able to
do so.
oratO may 81 read himself the entire earth,
provided always, that he does not carry the war
into Africa. And finally, all persons may be al
luded to, except American citizens OF African
descl nj and their immediate and remote ancestors.
Rule 4. No is at liberty to speak longer than
two hours, until all have had a small chance to say
something In case any person cannot get through
win his remarks within the allotted time he Is at
perfect liberty to continue them in his own paper,
IRON day 10 day or from week week. as the case
may be, aner the fashion OF the Big Bear and
Little Injun' stories of Emerson Bennett, Esq.
Mr. Mexican then laid down some neat rules about
the direct process OF bottle holding but in the con-
fusion of the moment we lost the DRIFT OF them. He
was understood TO say, however, that If man had
two hanos he could hold at least two bottles at the
same time.
.'Pea Ridge is Glorifcd and General
Sigcl Called Out.
Mr. Mexican then gave a vivid description OF the
battle of Pea Ridge and several other battles, If we
remember lightly. He also rendered in a happy
ma nner few strains from the campaign song of
''The Boys who night NIT Sigel and proposed as a
substitute for the fighting part of 1t, that the boys
should see how well they could succeed at drinking
unit Sige
They made the effort, and succeeded admirably.
And thereupOn Franz SIgel arose, amidst cheets,
and discoursed awhile concerning the Constitution
the Declaration OF In dependence andof free schools
independence Is EulOSized, and Theodore
TiltOn Responds.
Mr.. Mexican then paid direct tribute to the
MOTTO Virtue. Liberty, and Independence" ;" which
reminded him, a matter OF course, of the Taoe.
pendent.
Mr. Tilton, iu response, stated that his throat
troubled him likewise his appetite, which was
enormous HIS own words He also told story
about a crazy man who shook his hat at Tom Mar.
SHALL and cried out "louJer" turning TO General
Sigel, he remar ked gel leads the column, and
lead the column" tThe reader will please notice
the joke
Mr Elton then dec ned to shake his fist at Mr..
Mexican, but offered him his open hand piece of
magnanlmty, considering the circumstances. that
deserved and received applause Mr.. TIlton also in
formed the company that he was unfortunate as
TO be young man, and related several anecdotes to
show the nature OF his troubles on that score.
In conclusion, ne stated that a man might be
respectable, even though he were a minister OF the
Gospel Ia that capacity he introduced the
Rev. J. y. Newman, Who Related His
Troubles,
and thereby gained the sympathy of his audience
until he inadvertently CLAIMED as one OF them, the
prettiest wife on the OF the earth, when the
company rose m0SSe, and shook their forks at
him.
Dry Customer.
Colonel Char es E. Moss, Of the ST. Louis Press,
was then called upon Tor speech, but excused
himself on the grounds OF his being dry customer
Before sitting down however, he proposed the Press
Gang OF Philadelphia, 'the best Press Gang that
! ever got together on the face Of the earth"
| Colonel Moss rewarded with cheers for this
| brilliant sally.
| Mr.. Mexican then threw out a little hattery
| towards General Hiram Wabridge, who appre
ciated it by responding i'll little speech. In the
! course OF this,
| General WaIIbridge Gave Hit at John
! Minor Bolts,
| whom he accused of having one occasion slept
with John Tyler. For this reason General Wal
bridge rendered Mr.. Bolts the need Of immortality.
Mr.. Bolts Resents.
| When Mr.. Bolts took the door, three cheers were
given for Botts and Liberty" Mr.. Bolts then said
| that having spoken last evening to a million OF men,
or more, the open ne could not make a speech.
| He would say, however, that when ne slept with
John Tyler he did blackguard thing for the last
| time III his life.
| In conclusion, he proposed, as a ast:-"A free
| press the pendulum which regulates the clock OF
the country, and in rime OF peace is what the army
is IN time of war; (Applause, and drinks all
aIOundl
At this point up rose excited individual who
proclaimed himself 10 have been
| The Gentleman who put MIR. Bolts Ia
| Bed with John Tyler.
The excited individual who was identical with the
one who had previously Intimated to the company
that in his opinion the wine was circulating alto
getheI too freely, ana that they had better take
turn at the peaches-the excited individual, we say
arose and declared that lie desired to make "a few
remarks" AS no one had the good SENSE to Objec
10 such an irregular proceeding, the excited Indi
vidual proceeded with his "few remarks"
He knew all about the sleeping arrangement o
MIR. Bolts and John Tyler and as the former seemed
to be rather ashamed of it now he would remove al
cause for such harassing feeling feeling by as
sur1ng the company that 1t wasn't Mr.. Bolts fault
when man is put to bed" exclaimed the exciteC
Individual che can't help IT." (Cries of "Oh no =
"Of course no can't.") "Well, then, gentlemen,
} put Mr. Botts to bed with John Tyer, and I'll tel
you just how did it,"