Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1866-07-03
[From the washington stae.l
Chuck Mullins Taken Bad with Friohi-
/. nosis.
BY CROSBY s. MOVES.

: i"VoL' ~ pe Iouuu on the north front on
most market days, dispensing his little assort-
ment of "truck''-his sasafras- bark. corn
ears, chickens, poke-berries, &C., from the
tail end OF his weather beaten old wagon.
I Sometimes Chuck brings to market bar
rel or two of charcoal the product of his
piney woods patch in Prince Georges: and
that's how he happened into Dubaut's yester-
day. He sold his charcoal, and having pock-
eted the pay, and given snort or two of ad-
miratlou at the show of good things, potable
and eatable, to be seen at Dubant's. was
making his way towards the door, when the
spirit of mischief brought to his nose the an
+ petising perfumes from nice piece of roast
/ pork, just then under colored Harry's expert
enced carving knife. Chuck edged up to the
eating bar aud eyed the pork with watering
mouth, and with brows knit as if revolving a
i question of finance, and then, with the proud
! air of a Prince Georgian who has made up
his mind, pulled off his overcoat, mounted
one of the tall stools that line the counter.
and called for plate of that roast pork. His
evil genius here played him the scurvy trick
of placing him next a City Father, whose
love ofgood eating takes him often to Dubant's.
and whose propensity for practical Joking
made him about as dangerous a neighbor for
poor Chuck as need be Chuck, having dis
patched his pork with a speed that left him
flushed and oily, but with the ''sacred rage
OF hunger" still unappeased. called for another
plate remarking confdentially to his neighbor
that he could eat roast pork till the COWS
kim home" City Father turned to make
sympathetic response, but as his eyes lit on
Chuck he recognized in that worthy the
miserable scallawag who had stuck him with
tough turkey at Christmas time: SO with
smiling face, butwith blue vengeance burning
underneath, he remarked, urbanely, that
roast-pork well cooked was certainly fine
eating. But glancing at Chuck's plate the
smile fell from his face, as if a horrid doubt
had come over him in view of what he saw
there.
Good Heavens !' said he. 'sDid you eat
that pork without mustard?"
IN mustard! !" faltered Chuck; stwhat
fer?"
What for! why to kill tie soorn,sP"
'W-wur. rums!'
OF the terrible trichini disease lately invented
in pSrk?"
'N nary word, suffered Chuck. sweating
with fright aud dreading he hardly knew
what.
My unhappy friend, you're goner! It
has been demonstrated by miscrocopic and
various other kinds Of aualysis-with the
details OF which it would be cruel to occupy
your few brief moments on earth"-
'on, Loroy! Sasped Chuck.
THAT every female trichina contains 200
young trchini, and that every mouthful of
fresh pork, Of the size you have been swallow
ing
'sOh, Lordy"
-"may contain 10000 female trichiui.
breeding at the rate of forty millions per
minute''-
ooh, Moses!" roared Chuck.
-"The gastric juice" continued his perse-
cutor, develops the young trichini with
frightful rapidty-
''Oh, Lordy %
"YOu look like man overaowing with
gastric juice. By this time the worms are
doubtless swarming in your sympathetic
glands and peritoneal cavity"-
"Ow! ow ow" beloved Chuck, rub
bing his hands dolefulIy over his abdominal
region.
''In fifteen minutes they'll be at the lining
of your duodeuum'-
"Oh Lorly! feel 'em now!' said Chuck.
ain an hour you'll be a walking mass of
worms, and in three hours-if your life is
prolonged to that extent-perisatic action
will commence, and soon after that the worms
will bigin to eat you up bodily"-and Chuck's
tormenter here took out his watch and laid
1t upon the counter, if to time Chuck's
dying agonies a matter of ofscieptific inquiry.
'Oh, for grashus sAke!" roared Chuck;
"don't let the cussed maggits eat me up rite
afore yer eyes! Oh DEAR Nanny allus
said my belly 'ud be he death of me! Ow!
ow ow ~ and he rocked aud groaned fear
fully.
care you an only son?" inquired the jo-
ker.
"Deed am !'' responded Chuck earnestly,
81 am orphin"
-"YOu have wife, perhaps?"
7
Ow! OwI'
"ChiIdren?"
''Tetc! Ow! Ow! Owl"
1.-Two innocent babes-a wife, and moth
! er. Gentlemen" Ito the convulsed bystan-
! ders,) ''thls mans life is worth saving He's
poor, miserable shote, and sells the tough
est turkies raised since Noah; but he's of
some use to his family, and he's not fit to
diel'
''Deed aint!' plead Chuck, with both
! hands pressed convulsively on his stomach
81 don't think" said the joker doubtfully,
81 don't think the worms have reached his
pericardium yet-let's try and save him
Here boys-quick bring me the CASTOR"
and pouring out mustard, vinegar, salt, Wor-
cestershire sauce, horse-radish and cayenne
| pepper on plate, he remarked-''Ill give
him dose of this to occupy the worms until
we get some actipe remedy-now open your
mouth''-and he ladled away into the gap in
Chuck's face, who swallowed with such good
will that he was speedily splitting, gasping
and choking at tremendous rate, with the
tears standing in his eyes and great beads of
sweat on his face.
Don't that stir 'em up?" inquiredhis beue-
factor; syou feel biting, burning, pricking
sensation internally, eh ?''
Chuck admitted tearfully that he did.
s:All right, that's hopeful. Now, Harry
with wink to the grinuing waiter) syou
jump mp to the drug store and get double x