, 1865-01-27

home so exquisite ana Jnen tney naQ learned
professions; but plain Cousin Matthew went un-
sisted upon taking his place as partner with my
father Il can visit the Continent, dear uncle,
he said, when | am older and saw his face
color, and eyes brighten, as he and my father
looked at me, and then exchanged glances. Here
was 'one of the prettiest distresses imaginable;'
and gave myself up to the full enjoyment ofmy
misery.
Il will never marry Cousin Matthewl' l ex-
claimed in pettish anger, when had reached
my room. NO, no, they never make mel
And then l wept as, though anticipated being
locked up, and kept on bread and water. But
no such luxury Of misery was in store for me-
Nv dear old father would have startled at the
| bare proposition of urging me against my viii.
He would have been delighted to have seen us
married to each other, but would never have
forced me; but it pleased me to fancy differently,
and acted under the influence of my romantic
Imagination.
looked around for lover-Some one to doat
upon and be wretched about but young Dudley,
with all his airs and graces, was a fool; Morton
an impudent, presuming fellow, who prated of
his racers and hounds, as though he were an ell
der son ofa peer, with jockey habits acquired at
EPSON and Ascot; and Campbell piece of stu
pid pomposity. Then sought in humber ranks;
but my music master was snufy old German,
and my teachers quite the opposite of She refined
/
have been that beau ideal, if | had not been so
blind He was handsome if he was uncouth;
clever in mental abilities, and gentle andloving.
But shut my eyes to true happiness. To me
he was only plain Matthew Bates, whom would
be forced to marry.
Time passed on. I entered society, though
only seventeen. My teachers were retained, it
is true but only a ceremony were the lessons
said and the rich and beautiful Miss Lee was
soon surrounded by admirers, and hurried with
gay engagements Cousin Matthew looked qui-
etly on, but spoke not word. He was always
at my elbow, to hand me to my carriage, to at
tend me to parties, and accompany me my
drives and rides could not help acknowledge
ing, at times, a secret feeling of kindness for
him, he was so yielding to my wishes, so patient
and attentive. In one of these moments of ten
derness, resolved magHanmously, TO ward off
his declaration of lore-generously to spare him
the pain of a refusal.
"Disentangle this whip for me Cousin Matthew
said l, one day, after we had returned from a
ride. HI passing my dressing-room; and
there | stood by the open door, vainly endeavor-
ing to dsengage the little coquettish whip p-chain
which had by chance became wrapped around
the buttons of my habit-seeve. AS | extended
my hand to him he sprang quickly to do my bid
ding; and while his head was bent over the
troublesome tangle-to him "a labor of love-
| could not help admiring the rich masses of
curls that fell in careless negligence over his
brow; but then he plain Cousin Matthew
Bates whom | would never marry; and the re-
collection of some tender words and Ioolrs which
had escaped him during the ride determined me
upon putting in execution my generous re-
solve. Thereupon spoke. | told him with a
well-affected air of confidence, that 1 had that
morning, through my father, refused young
Campbell. He trembed; and by my Psyche
glass, which stood near, could see his round
face crimsoned with bushes. With a sensible,
womanly air, continued. told him of my firm
belief that | never would marry and pictured
forth our future as brother and sister soothing
the declining days of my father; that had new
er yet met with one to love as I would wish to
love my husband; and concluded with saying,
that even if l ever should marry, | anticipated
much quiet happiness in his friendship and the
sisterly regard felt for him, united to my fatiG
er S tender care He almost gasped for breath
while set-cOmplacedtly admired the woman
of-the-world manner in which had, as | imag-
ined, placed each other in proper position. He
dropped the chain still more hopelessly entan-
ED, gazed at me an instant in speechless an
guish and then hurried from the room. l felt
annOyed-yexed beyond measure. Thus, when
| thought to have arranged the affair so beauti-
fully, had but FASTENED the catastrophe.
Now he will go to my father l exclaimed,
'and shall be forced to marry himP And, in
rage, wrenched my pretty whip from the chain,
bringing buttons and chain making sad rent
in my habit-seeve My maid, who just then en-
tered, wondered at my impatence. Icomplained
of fatigue; and hastily unhabting, threw myself
on a lounge, bade her close the curtains, and say
that | wished to sleep. Cousin Matthew's look
of deep sorrow hovcred before me, notwithstand-
ing my feelings of determined resistance.
At dinner he did not make his appearance;
and perceived Immediately, 10y my fathers
manner that he knew nothing of the affair. l
missed him when was handed into my
riage by the footman in the evening. I missed
his gratifed look-hs expression of admiration
at my pretty costume The party was dull
though l would not attribute it to the right
cause; and returned home dissatisfied with my
self and blaming every one else. On my dress
ing table found note; to my amazement, it
was from Cousin Mathew:
Il thank you, dear Ella, for wishing to spare
me the pain OF an open rejection; but, with all
your delicacy, dearest, the suffering is just the
same. have madly, wildly worshipped you, and
hoped the quiet, unobtrusiye devotion of years
might at last soften your heart towards me-
But, no, 1 see evidently that it can never be. My
presence annoys you, Ella; and, until re-
gard you as a sister. you shall never be panied
by the sight of Cousin Matthew
This was unlocked for, and l must confess I
felt little disappointed. had prepared my
self for storms and resistance, but not this dig
ulueu, manly WlInQFaWdl. COUSIN MdJLneW went
up several degrees in my esteem, and found my
self, towards morning, after sleepless night,
questioning whether had not acted little RI
dicously, if not selfshly and unfeelingy But
on the whole it is better, said I, for l am sure
never could marry Cousin Matthew
Cousin Matthew went abroad. A branch of
the house had long been established in America,
and to my father he represented the urgent ne
cessity Of his presence there My poor father
fretted and complained at the prospect Of losing
his daily society-but it was of no avail. He
went, and / endeavored to persuade myself
that was relieved. ,.
Years rolled by, and beheld me a woman OF
six-and-twenty, and still unmarried. Offers af-
ter offers had been urged upon me, but could
not meet with the realization of my beau ideat.-
Cousin Matthew constantly returned to my mind
and l found myself acknowledging that he came
nearer my fancy's image than any one had ev-
er met with, and shrewedly suspected had act
ed chidishly and unwsely. Time had deprived
me of many ofmy romantic notions. had grown
wiser as well as older. The gaiety and whirl of
society palled upon me; and instead of being
seen as formerly at every place of resort, pass
ed quietly from the dining-room to the drawing