The Iowa transcript. (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1858-1866, 1865-10-04

......A foot traveller, whose feet were Of pro-
diglous size, on stopping at country tavern
for lodging, asked the landlord for boot
jack whcrewith to remove his muddy boots
After surveying his foot with much delbcra-
ton, the landlord declared that there was no
boot Jack on the premises that would be half
big enough for him.
perhaps you've got forked stick, or
somethin. then" suggested the traveller
s.No, there's nothing that would answer"
replied the landlord.
Nv hats "A Teller to do, them" desponlinply
asked the traveller.
sI'll tell YOU answered the landlord,
Frightening up with a new idea, s.just 90
back and pull EN- off with the fork of the
road
ian inveterate pnnster happened to go
into one Of the banks the other day Just as
the worthy cashier was running up, with his
accustomed celebrity and correctness, long
column Of figures. The waggish visitor saw
the sum completed, and then remarked to the
Official, with d very grave face, ..R--,
understand they think of sending you to the
Worlds Fair as a specimen Of the American
adder.
...... Rev. Mr.. Mathews, in his book Of 'all
collections, tells story of Governor Nor
ris and Bishop Moore At a dinner party,
Mr.. Morris. who was about to set sail for
Europe, said to the Bishop:
My reverend friend, have just made my
will, and have bequeathed to you my whole
stock of impudence.'
Bishop Moore replied, '.Sir, you are not
only very kind but very generous; you have
left me by far the largest portion of your
estate
Mrs. Moore, the good Bishop wife imme-
diately added: MY Dear, you have come
into possession Of your inheritance remarka-
bly, soon.
......Thackeray, when in the United States,
meeting western man who had been in Eng
land. asked him how..he liked the country.
Every well in the day time vas the
quick reply.
'.Why, my friend, what is the matter with
it in the night -
s.Oh ! never dared to go out in England
after night for fear | should step of the
edge"
$50. Biddy, while on begging expedition
was asked bv lady if she had any children.
Yes, num- replied Biddy with great
readiness, I'm the mother of an orphan
1.-Two Ladies contended, in the court Of
CHdiitS ". aS 10 WHO suOuiQ take proco-
dence Of the other. They appealed TO the
monarch. who replied:
:, Let the elder 90 first
We are told that such a dispute was never
again heard Of
what is the difference between piece
of honey-comb and black eye? One is
produced by the la5or;ng bee. and the other
by a betatortng.
.....'' / live in my charmers eyes, said a
fop o Colman. II don't wonder at it,
replied George, 9 for observed she had a
sty in them when | saw her last
Usage, the joker and poet, was once
taking a trip on steamer, when he fell in
with lively yonng lady. to whom he made
himself very agreeable. OF course he made
an impression upon the danisel who said at
parting, Good bye, Mr.. SAKE, but fear
you'll soon be forgetting me-" ''Ah, miss, y
said the inyeterate punster, 'sif was not a
married man already, you may be sure Id
be for getting you
......'.W What IRE YOU thingink of my man
said Lord Hill. Us he approached a soldier
who was leaning in gloomy mood upon his
frelock while around him lay mangled thous-
ands of French and English: it was few
hours after the battle of Salamanca had
been won by the English. The soldier start
cd, and after salutng his general, answered:
II was thinking, my lord, how many
widows and orphans have this day made
for one shilling" He had fred COO rounds
of ball that dav