The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1865-06-03
VARIETY.

A popular author exclaims =" What pity some
quadrupeds can't talk We rather disposed to
say, " What pity some bipeds cam
Suwarrow, even in peace. always slept fully armed,
b0ots and all when L was lazy said he, s. and
wanted to enjoy comfortable sleep, l usually took
0f one spur"
"There goes man. said a friend to another,
is worth his hundred thousand dollars
yes" quantity said the other, looking after the
rich man, " and that is all he is WORTH
.s Harry you ought to be ashamed TO throw away
bread like that You may want II some day"
well mother, would stand any better chance Of
getting il then, should eat 1t up now 80
A man getting out of omnibus a few days ago,
made use Of two Of knees banisers to steady
himself at which the ladies took offence, and of
them cried aloud, - perfect savage J! - True.
said a wag, =. he belongs TO the Paw Knee tribe
A witty printer who left the case, studied physic
and became IA physician, gave his reason for doing
so that in printing, all the faults exposed to the
eye, but in physic they buried with the patient.
At an evening parry very elderly lady
dancing with young partner A stranger ap-
preached JerrOld, who looking on, and said
Pray SIR can you tell who is the young gem
tIeman dancing with that very elderly lady :"
Zone Of the Humane Society, should think. re-
piei Jerfold
The times are so hard can hardly manage TO
keep my nose above water,'' said husband the
other day TO his wife, who impOrtuning him for
a new dress. No." she replied, with some asperi-
", - but you manage to keep it above brandy and
water easy enough y
Madam lie S,aeI said 4" II it we're not for my
pect for human opinion, l would not open my win
dow the Bay Of Naples for the first time;
wh''e would 60 five hundred leagues to talk with
Of genius whom bad not seem
The strength Of n city nation, is in its honest,
Industrious working men, vino perform manual labor
under the inspiration Of intelligent mind. Any
policy which ignores this class, which even
dervaiues them cannot be the policy that will build
up q healthy, vigorous commonwealth
IIovr dat SambOs You the bat
lie Of Bull Run when I you at New York
de same night - " Yes. Julius, you did for sartin.
Yer see our colonel says be- Boys, strike for yer
country and yer homes Well, some struck for
der country, but dis chile he struck for home. Dat
spains de matter, yer see -
Josh Billings, in the Troy -Nslrs, gives US weekly
scintiIlations of the ripest wisdom. This last Is IN
the form of advice young lady as TO how she shall
receive q proposal - You ought TO take 1t kind,
looking down hill, with expreshun about half
tickied and half scarf. After the pop IS over, If
Jure luvyer wants tew kiss you, L don't think L
would say yes but let the thing kind Of take
il course There Is one thing hsv alrus stuck
tes, and that IL, give me long courships and short
engagements"
A SAILoi's Love oP FAIR PLAY.-ln n shipyard
the other day, q tar from man-o'-war was observed
Watching two dragging a seven foot cross-cut
saw through huge oak log The saw was dull,
the log very tough, and there they went, see-saw,
saw; pull, push; push, pull. Jack studied the
while. until he came to the conclusion
that they pulling TO see who could get the saw;
and as one was an immense big chap while the other
a little fellow, he decided to see fair play;
giving the big one blow under the that cspsized
hin, jerked the out of the log, and giving It
10 the small one, he sung out. " now run, you
beggar -
EcoSOMY IN PAxTALooSs young but prudent
mother, on the important occasion OF making her
little boy his rst pair Of cOored trOwsers conceived
the idea that IL would be more economical to make
them Of the dimensions behind and before, so
that they might be changed about and wear evenly
Gk. nj Fhnra hair offs
dOnned by the little victim udicrous In the ex-
'reme. Papa. at first sight of the baggy garments
50 " feerfulIy and wonderfully made burst into
roar OF laughter, and exclaimed, " Oh, my dear,
how could you have the heart TO do 1t. Why, the
poor little fellow won't know whether ne is going to
school OF coming home.''