Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1865-09-06
Josh Billings Redivivua-His Sketch
of Long Branch.
LoNo BRANcH, July ID, 1860.


LoNo BRANCH, July Is, 1865.
ED. Troy News :-Arrived here just in
time tew see the Atlantik Osean. which is
now on exhibishunn, and dewing a good
bizzness, tew full houses. Took a bath
tew onst, aud was astonished tew find the
water so saltuous; enquired the kause ov
an intelligent natitf. and he informed me
he didn't care; i think the cuss lied.
Thare il about one hundred and sixty
! thousand human beings, and other folks,
here now, az near al i kan git at it
kounted till l got tired. and then estima-
ted. It il pertekly narte renting tew see
the femails here in search ov natural pro
tektors. i kounted l6 yesterday in n
pile. they awl sighed az i past by them,
with down cast eyes. I felt sorry for
them, but couldn't help them, for i am
thoroughly marrid, and intend tew re-
main 20. Thar is two breezes here. a sea
breeze, and u ~jerSee breeze, and i advise
aul persons tew Use the sea breeze, for the
other is so much used up before it reaches
here, that it soon uses up evry boldly at
ter il gifts here. Shoddy and Petroleum
IRE both here. ana eXsite a. much notlSe
as a new fanglld patient churn, warrant
ted tew mkae butter i'll ten n
from skim milk. bu, they say they shant
remain long, bekauze the air smells 80
mulch like olde brine. Yesterday l went
out krabbing and ketched a PEEK ov them,
they bite sideways, and hang on like a
ded boss shoe, they make good vittles
enuff. but they aint profitable tew eat. IT
va kount yure time wuth ennythlng.
They hav a singular bug here. which they
kali the mussketow, they roam about in
herds, and are mulch reSpekted bi the in
habirants 4; i caut one day before yesterda,
sticking sumthin sharp intu me. and car.
ried the buggcr intu mi room, and smash
ed him on the Iii. The bathing IL luxuri.
aus, and the bathers resemble mermades,
half men and half wimmin they aul dress
in the choktaw kostom, and when they
emerge from the water. yu kant tel which
IL who, unless yu ask them. After bath
ing. yu feel a kind ov lackness or Timber
ness, for which i waz advised tew battle
in whiskee. I took l immershun. about
half o tumbler, and never telt so st0ught
in mi life. l thought i could lift an
aker ov their land, but bimeby. after
the lickker had let go, i felt az though
could foller an angle worm intu hiz
hole, and had MT strength enuf tew ask
a dog tew foller me-if i ever drink
sum more jersee whiskee, it will be
after i am ded and gone. Thare IL one
church here, but it wont hold but 80 fu
that nobody don't 60 out ov politeness.
Thare IL 81 hotels, and they are prnsi-
pally bilt out doors, tew Civ the guests as
mulch b%rinuqueous air az possible. The
lodging rooms are small. but handy. each
one haz a door tew them. and a looking
glass on the wall. and two washboles and
a towel. Dinner IL served at 2 O'Clock,
and opens with soup. and shuts up with
huckelberry. The servants are generally
blak, but menny ov them hav lived so long
amung the whites that they begin rew
adop IL kuller. The beach, hi moonlite,
IL worthy ov philosopher. Lovers meet
here from aul paItes ov the kuntry tew
vow and .sware, and menny a harte that
Gums here tuf and hearty goes home
smashed, and bleeding luv at evry pour.
But the grand attrakshun IL the Atlantik
Osean, a Crate hemispheer ov liquid life
and power. blu water. evry WHARF the eye
kan reach, az gentle az a summer evening
mil pond. and then agin, az awful NJ q
water earthquake. Upon the whole, Long
Branch il u sensible phase tew visit; l
think thare IL az little nonsenz thare gen.
.prally. NJ the same number ov visitors are
capable oy, JOSH BILLINGS.