The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1865-07-06

aySome Of our citizens desiring to show
magnanimity towards whipped enemy consent
cd that certain parts of the exercises ofths eel
sbration 9th 4th Of July should b assigned 70
those who have for the last few years been known
by tho name Of Dc mocrats. ABNER PIArr was cho'
sen one Of the ASST Marshals, and Though many
had serious objection to him on account OF MS
former history, yet none could take exceptions
to his conduct on the Fourth. JOHN SwINEFoRp,
The valiant Colonel, was selected to respond to
The toast. '.My Father Lssd." JOHN assumed
hia position with an air Of considerable impor.
lance, and throwing his center Of gravity over
the rear Of his heel taps went fearlessly to the
discharge--of his-his piece. For few mo.
oring by artful words to beguile them into the
belief that he wasn't as bad q mar Is he had for
the last few years been representing himself to !
be. And as people are apt to exagerats on the
Fourth, two or three men and one woman tried
to persuade themselves that 1t was barely posi-.
BILE for them to endure : very short speech from |
JOHN, provided ii was Immediately followed by |
patriotic music from the Band But this playing |
decent was exceedingly laborious and unlatu.
raj for JOHN, and before he had rounded half |
dozen periods he went off in the following style
of southern oratory. "Who does not glory in
taught different doctrine from that which they |
taught Am taught that men [meaning Jeffer- |
son Davis Co. who have done as our fore. I
fathers did ought to be hung by the neck. They |
too were rebels, they were traitors. say this
for the benefit of my ministerial brethren Who
have preceded me-" At this stage Of the Colon
els speech the cries ef Shame, =" shame" 'tJe:
came so prevalent that the voice Of the speaker
could not be heard But JOHN, who never cared
for words, was not to be silenced in that way.
He at once assumed the theatrical. and,
whrling himself on his heels like a weather.
cock, endeavored to hold forth for q few mo.
ments longer; but though his mouth worked
like that of sun fish out of its element, he could
not be heard even on the platform. A suspi.
cious looking fellow dressed in blue clothes
having made his appearance, with club in his
hand, in front OF the stage, and several others,
some with, and some without blue, having made |
their appearance upon the platform the Colonel |
with the keenness of his perception, came to the |
conclusion that his cake was dough and that his |
toast was done little too brown; and, finding |
his circumstances were rather embarrassing he |
concluded to quit the business and leave the |
stage. In which latter undertaking he was lib |
orally assisted by half dozen hands and two or
three articles of cowhide, manufactured very
similar to SAM WMCKs No. los These marks
of Partially were SO abundant that there is no
knowing how far they might have gone had not
the Colonel, who is unused to prominence, beat
basty retreat from the grounds, and out of
town. Indeed so anxious were the crowd to
assist the Colonel, that several, who were Grip.
pied and hardly able to help themselves, were
hobbling about seeking an opportunity to be-
stow some evidences OF their desire to assist |
And now, though il is two days after the 4th, |
the Colonel is 80 scarce that Timer HAMMOND, |
who is agent for the "Olive Branch" cannot find |
enough OF him to make tin whistle.
We think it ought to be very long time be-
fore Union r.en should attempt to affiliate with |
such men as SwrNEroRD in any undertaking; for
whatever their profession they will return to |
their treason as dog returns to his vomit.