Evansville daily journal. (Evansville, Ind.) 1863-1866, 1865-11-30

some say tnat the quickest way 10 de-
stroy weeds is to marry a widow. It
is no doubt most delightful species Of
husbandry.
Why is playing chess more exemp-
larry occupation than playing cards2
Because you play at chess with two bish-
ops, and cards with four knaVes
A lady well posted in such matters,
says that she knows of eighty-two couple
in Nashville who are to be united in
marriage the coming winter.
A Western exchange says: Why is
General Jefferson G. Davis like sailor?
and then answers: Because, he has rea-
son to thank God for the c.
No snow falls lighter than the snow of
age; none heavier, for it never melts.
Parents said solemn lecturer,
"you have children; or, if you have not
your daughters may have
If police officer is after you, the best
thing you can do is to lock the door, and
then bolt yourself.
What is that which every one wishes
to have and which he wishes to get rid
of as soon as be obtains it2 A keen APP
petite.
81 am q broken man." said q poor
poet. $50 I should think" was the re-
ply, " for 1 have seen your pieces"
What word of ease is like a call to
meals7 Com Portable.
Gov. Brownl)w is not easily intimida-
ted Despite the late murders and the
dangers of the road, he went out in
carriage one mile on Thursday night, to
unite couple in the holy bands of mat
rimony.
A young lady, playfully condemning
the wearing of whiskers and mustaches,
declared, ut is one of the fashions | in
variably set my face against"
A persons character depends a good
deal upon his bringing up. For in
stance, man who has been brought mp
by the police seldom turns out respecta-
BILE.
What is the difference between q wood.
man and toilet mug? One is heUer
of wood, and the other esoer of water.
If woman cuts her nails every Mon
day it ia lucky thing for her husband.
An exchange describes one who
~ With passionate oaths and protesta-
tons,
With signs, smart chances, and off,
cious terms,
Spreads artificial mist before the eyes.
Yesterday broth of boy entered
one of the gift stores on Church street,
in much apparent hurry, and with con.
siderable interest, inquired if the pro.
prietor had seen Dean. "What Dean2''
asked the man. "Sardine," replied the
little fellow, as he SHE'D out of the door
amidst burst of laughter from the spec
tators.
: A man who proved to be a shoemaker
was found in the woods near Burdett
Schuyler county, in dying condition, a
few days since. 1t is said as his enc
waxed near he bristled up for q time
and his friends thought he would mend
again; but the welt he had received over
the head proved too much for him, and
he pegged out at last.
A passenger on board one of the
NORTH river steamers being awakened BY
the clerk of the boat and told that he
must not occupy the birth with his boots
! on, very CONSIDERABLY replied, Oh,
guess the bugs wont hurt emil They're
an old pair, anyhow"
A toast at q public dinner in Cincin-
matt: The nutmeg State; where shall
we find a crater"
Which is the most profitable business
The shoe, for every pair lis sold before
it is finished.
A divorced wife in Connecticut hal
received $50, 600 alimony.
RAILROAD WAGGERY.-Waggs went Il
the depot of one of our railroads th'
!. other evening. and finding the best ca
full, said in loud tone.
"This car amt going"
OF course these words caused gen
eral stampede, and Wages took the bes
seat. The cars soon moved of In thu
midst of indignatinn, Wages was ques
toned:
"You said this car wasn't going2
I" Well, it wasn't then; it is now"
The sold laughed little, bu
Wages came near getting good thrash
ing. ---.