Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1865-06-01
Sglert GALE,
Aunt Tabitha's Railway Adventure.

My Aunt Tabitha, | am sure, must have
been very ladylike parsonage before she
came 50 strongly to resemble a gentleman.
There are cases where women, who ought
TO have been married twenty years ago,
di>gustcd with the backwardncss of the
ether sex, strive, as it were, to become their
own husbands Here was one of them.
Aunt Tabs voice deepened and grew harsh
TT her manners became abrupt, and her
movements jerking, until ill-natured people
succrlmgIy said she was masculine. a fa-
bic was maliciously put into circulation
that blind beggar, in acknowledging
aims, had once addressed my relative as
q" Sir | always looked on those character
j-ti,, Us simply a natural resemblance on
amt's part to the highest models of her ad-
miration; and appointed to the appearance
Of a strong dark down upon the upper lip
as striking proof of the force of magma
ton. But if Aunt Tab secretly admired
mankind, she also suspected them, and
seemed ever to be in fear Of its being dis
covered that she was not really a married
couple in one, and that some suddenly fas-
rlnatcd wooer might become too rough in
his attentions TO what lengths the feel
ling was carried, only accidentally learn
ed
"Supposing l saw him gradually steal
ing upon me from the other end, / could
get the bludgeon ready and meet him at
the distance resolutely said the unmistak-
able Iabithan tones.
But if he should happen to spring upon
you from the opposite seat What should
y0u do then :" asked voice | recognized
as that Of my aunt's companion, Mrs Lee
son. a widow Of some thirty years standing,
and who, therefore, thought in a lesser de
gree, had her own complaint of neglect
against my sex.
IN that case, should present the dag
zen IN such a way that he would rush upon
IT. so = added my aunt, with a very the
atrlcal accent, shall always keep the
point turned little outwards under my
cloak"
" Couldn't you shoot him quicker ?" mild
ly inquired Mrs Lceson.
No; | find it takes time to aim the MIS-
rol and pull the trigger was the calm re-
ply
BIndgeons, daggers and pistols ! What
IN the name of goodness, did this mean !
Who was the fellow alluded to as che .
with whom means like these were neces-
,aig! had put my hand upon the handle
d my aunt's settingroom door to enter,
but the first words overheard of this mys-
ferrous conversation rooted me to the spot.
Now, then, resumed my aunt's Impress
I've tones from within, "we'll practice open
h7 the doors and getting on the footboard,
'appoSng | should be so taken by surprise
~ not to have time to use any of the wca-
PouS. Are you ready? Stop minute a;
ui'S cushion represents the dividing arm of
.-r two seats" and, in the pause, | could
"'"r some ruStllng arrangements being
/ "aoe Now then, you must throw your
>e.l suddenly over upon me- Don't mind
'.'hg little rough dare say that the
'9ule wont Now ~
immediately the sound of fierce strug-
gle ensued and, opening the door a little
14oeT cover of the noise, | was mortified to
l'' Aunt Tab and Mrs. Lceson closely en-
raced IN one corner Of the couch, wrest-
ing together as if for dear life At last
'! relative got an arm loose, and making
'"eht effort, i'll which uncrinolined morn
2'ooeS were tossed wildly, and ankles
4,, 4r,e"Led IN a very undignifed way, she
,"T hersellloose from her assaiIant and tri-
''l'"aAtly leaning on the back of a chair,
sl.I srgI"'thtiy placed to represent the door
PjAeh .I, OF, she whirled herself around it, al
Es;- ing on the fender, with dishevelled
'''"I and flushed checks.