Weekly Trinity journal. [volume] (Weaverville, Calif.) 1857-1972, 1865-04-29

Orpheus O. Ksrr's Latest and Best.
This genial humorist has emerged from the
shadow, brilliant as ever. He is now one of the
numerous corps of writer's attached to the New
York Leader. We select part of his last letter
He has just dismissed the conservative Kentucky
chap, and forthwith introduces Captain Mum
chausen, of the Southern Confederacy. The
Mark Tapley policy of the Confederate journals
is happily illustrated:
| Right behind him came a remarkable being,
attred in gray cloth and a prodigious thicket of
whiskers, through the latter of which his eyes
| glared yellowly, like the bottles of an apothe-
cary's shop down the street. AS he approach ed
nearer, he hastily put pair of partially-dis-
sected white cotton gloves, and casually rear
ranged the strip of carpet-binding which served
him a full-dress cravat.
@ Yours, truly" said Captain Bob Shorty
"Vandal p Kissed Captain Munchausen, re-
moving from his brow unexampled conglom-
Grafton of rags in the last stages Of a cap, and
handing it to faithful contraband who attended
him.
why, then" said Captain Bob Shorty, doff-
ing his own cap, and tucking up his sleeves, in
the name of the United States of America,
propose to move upon your works Immediately"
And now, my boy, do peculiarly lament my
lack of those unspeakaby intellectual gifts which
enable the more refined reporters of all our ex-
cellent moral daily journals to describe the fstic
achievements of the noted Arkansas Mule and
celebrated Jersey Bantam IN a manner that de-
lights every well-conducted breakfast table in
the land and furnishes exquisite reading for pri-
vate families
Forward hoped Captain Bob Shorty, as
though on springs; his elbows neatly squared,
his fists held up like couple of apples on sticks,
and his head poised as though it had Just started
to look round corner. With fists to match,
and eyes shining like the bottoms of glass bot
ties, the wary Munchausen scuffles cautiously
back from him in half circle Now they make
skips toward each other and now they skip
back. Anon an arm is raised, and is PARTED
and then they balance to partners, and then they
hop back.
was gazing at all this, my boy, in speeches.
admiration, when suddenly | saw the dexter
hand of Captain Bob Shorty pierce the enemy's
lines, and explode with tremendous force on
Munchausen' nose. For moment there was a
sound of Confederate blasphemy ; but in a
moment the chivalric Munchausen was himself
again.
- All ~ said Captain Bob Shorty, agreeably,
q did you see the star-spangled banner that
time?'
% Sir" said Munchausen, with tears in his
eyes, ~ am thankful that my nose is broken.
1t is blessing; for had nothing to smell with
it, and only wasted my strength in its special
defence"
Here Captain Bob Shorty looked jovialy at
me, my boy, and says he: =" By all that's Fede-
raj amt he joly?''
Come on to thy ruin roared Munchausen
from behind his rapidly increasing nose and
again the battle ragged.
Now did Captain Bob Shorty side to the left
with view to aanking but two columns of the
enemy met him there. Next the agile Munchau-
sen attempts, by quick turn, to take him in the
rear of his position, but finds strong body of
five divisions hurled upon his headquarters with
an impetuosity that knocks out half his teeth
% Art satisfied. Horatio p said Captain Bob
Shorty, with more or less Bowery Theater in bis
manner.
An awful smile appeared upon what were left
of the fertures of Captain Munchausen. 1t was
SO full of scorn, you know.
- Sir" said he, with much chivalry of bear
ing, and some difficulty of utterance, "my Jaw
is broken, but thank fate for it. It's long
time since had anything to eat with my mouth
and to defend it at all was useless"
g Ha ha ha ~ roared Captain Bob Shorty
80 really never did see anything so jolly
Mailman |" yelled Munchausen, "your de-
struction is decided ~
Then were all the skips and hops repeated, my
boy with such ornamental bits Of occasional
hHc ait ms Tue rcHneu reporters OF our excellent
moral daily journals love to dwell fondly upon
Were but such reporter, would describe the
scene in such way to make you take it home
to your children. But let me not waste time in
lamentation; for just then, something heavy
fell upon the right eye of Captain Munchausen,
and effectually closed it for a week
I" All y said Captain Bob Shorty, pleasantly.
:. did you count the stars upon our flag that
time my grayback ?''
8 Sir, retorted Munchausen, staggering about
and wildly pulling handfuls of imperceptible
hair out of invisible heads in the air. con-
slider the loss of that eye blessing in disguise
for can now concentrate nv whole strength on
the other"
Well now, really" said Captain Bob Shorty
+" really, you know, never see anything half
so jolly"
determination IL now your doom I" howled
the Confederacy Keeling deliberately forward
upon the first fist he met and falling heavily to
the ground with his other eye emphatically
darkened.
Instantly was Captain Bob Shorty at his side,
exclamng: /" I'm sorry for this, old chap. l
wish you'd only consented to stop before-EH ?"
calculated Captain Bob Shorty" what's that
you say?"
As true as l live and breathe, my boy-as true
as live and breathe-when Captain Bob Shorty
put his ear to the mouth of the fallen Confed-
eraey. he heard spoken these remarkable words
'fn-glad-this-has- L. because
-l-caa-now-develop- my-REAL~-resource
-of-strength ~
Yours, speechlessly, oRrHErs c, Ksas,