Delaware State journal and statesman., 1865-08-08


A STAPLE Production "A full-groWn Buck
eye in rather an obliyious and balmy state,
tumbled into stage.coach, one bright morning,
| beside traveller who was in pursuit Of know
ledge, certainly at that time "under diff cul-
ties" After the the ribbons had been picked
up, snd the.horses received notice to start the
traveller remarked that Ohio was fine country.
"T-hick-aint nothing else," hiccOughed
the Buckeye.
"what is the staple production, sir'"
"Co.or-on"
"YOg must raise large qusntity-What 10
done with it %
"W-h-hie-wy, great deal is used up in VIII
hic-isky, and some they waste in making bread"
A NAUTICAL INoIDENr.--A noise was heard
on deck; the dOg.watch sprung from his caboose,
seized the gig-whip, and laying over the dead
eyes Of the buoy, made him shin up the bow
spirit. catch hold Of the sky scraper, which he
used 50 freely on the keison that he rubbed off
the shoe Of the anchor, which was caught by
the cat harpings, who commenced to Hpanker
with the boom, till she burst through the stays
cutting; the topsail-ties grabbed the monkeys
tail, which knocked jews eye out Of the Turks
head, caught the ship round the waist with one
hand, boxed the compass with the other, till the
cook cued, and the captain applied the leeches
Of the foresail to the inAamed eye Of the aston
ished needle.
MAKING THE BEST OF lT.--A Yankee, out
walking, in Virginia, at Wheeling, while 10 him
self a talking, experienced feeling-srauge,
painful, and alarmin'l from his caput to his
knees, as he suddenly discovered he was covered
Ger with bees They rested on his eyelids and
perched upon his nose they colonized his
peaked face, and swarmed upon his clothes.
They explored his swelling nostrils, dived deep
into his ears they crawled up his trowsers,
and filed his eyes with tears Did he yell like
hyena Did he holer like a loon Was he
scar't, and did he cut an run or did the critter
-swoon Meier q one He wasn't scarf
mite he never swoons-nor hollers but he
hved EN- in a nail-keg tight and sold 'em for
tlSo dollars.
TIE FIRST BoNSRT.-The first bonnet worn
in England was brought from Italy in the reign
Of Qaeen Elizabeth, and it's form was q compro-
mise between the present italian peasant hat
and the French hood. The materials employed
in constructing these head ornaments were
crimson satin elRboratey embroidered, cloth Of
gold, and similar rich materials. The Leghorn
fiat, with perpendicular crown and wide brim.
standing out far around the face, was the first
legitimate bonnet worn, and this appeared long
after Queen Elizabeth's time. 1t was trimmed
with artificial howers and immense bows Of
ribbons.
A BRIGHT CHILD.-"Father, what makes
Ben, our milkman, walk so funny -
badly once that the doctors had to cut all his
toes off,"
"Indeed, father-then why is Ben like that
Union captain that General Grant eashiered the
other dayf"
'Realiy, my child, don't know-can't think"
"Why, don't you see 2-he is a no-toe-rious
cowheard, Ben is"
"Milly, Milly, child-yOu'll get married some
day"
HATED BoTH.-"Did you attend church to-
day ?" said planter to his late slave.
"Sartin, sar," was the reply; land what two
awful big stories that preacher did tell !"
s'What stories were they 2"
"Why, he tell the people no man can serve
two masters now dis is de FIRST story, kase you
see once ] serve you, my old msssa, and also
Young Massa John Den de preacher says he
will love de one, and hate de odder, while de
Lord knows how hated ye boff"
RIoH HERBs.-"Time is money" is a sage
saying. Thyme may be money, but the mint
produces it, Shakespeare tells US OF ia bauk
whereon the wild thyme grows" A sweet time
man would have getting money out Of that
hank Bah Time is a very good thing to be
allowed when bill falls due; but after all we
should then be sure of having good time.
AN ERoEsH journal says; "our American
fashionable friends have got tloo 0onderful c0lors,
this season, for their silks one is called Lon
don-smoke, and the other Nightngae's-sigh.
A third, less sentimental, but which might bring
little reflection about as to their situation and
senses, would be green back color" Might it,
thought Let this English writer examine our
financial reports,
"How's DAT sANsBof You say you was at
de battle of Bull IN, when sees you at New
York on de same night !"
s'Yes, Julius, you did for sartin. Yer see,
our Colonel, says he, Boys, strike for yer coun-
try and yer homes = Well, some struck for der
country, but dis child he struck for home. Dat
Splalns do matter, yer see u