Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1865-02-10
A Minnesota Wedding.

In the semi-rural district of Winona, on
the Minnesota side Of the Mississippi river,
lives, among several other people, jolly
good fellow of a justice of the peace, whose
ideas of matters are much like the current
OF deep river, once started it is hard to
turn them. On fair day after the l0xf2
law dispensary had been swept, after the
chairs had been set in row against the
side of the office, and sundry whipped guilds
of tobacco, and sundry mutilated cigar stubs
had been kicked under the stove, their was
wooden step on the stairs, and vigorous
knock at the door.
"sCome in" said the justice, as he settled
into legal look as betting man of law
duly elected 10 dispense the favors Of the
blind goddess. A stout woman entered.
She had on short WOODEN dress, wooden
soled shoes, spotted red cheeks. black hair,
and eyes that snapped like the lock of a
shot gun. In Portuguese accent, and in
the worst possible English, she said
I ou law man q
Yes, madam be seated"
Want paper. Want paper to take a
man."
Just then stout French halfbreed, en-
tered the room. He was unable to speak
half dozen words, and looked either
scared or bashful. The justice saw at
once that marriage was to come off, and
said to the woman, who stood with COM
pressed lips watching the justice and the
door.
Want papers to take this MANI"
Yes-want paper. Me teach him
| (Nice woman, thought the jus;ice.) He
no good man. Me take him so quick as
! can"
l." All right, my covies-fx you in just a
minute" said the justice as he turned to
| the man and asked: " You know this wo-
man. Can You take herr"
The mar shook his head and uttered
some uninlelligible words. ....
"Ah, see can't talk English. Wei
never mind"
He ran into the streets, invited few
frieEds up stairs, aud on returning witt
them said TO the woman.
You want to take this man for bette
or for worse 2"
Yes, me want to take him-me pay"
All right" Then turning TO the mai
who stood trembling" You take this wo
man for better or for worse, and promis
f to keep her 7" &c.
"Umph I" and several mods Of The heat
Then In the name Of the law, and b
virtue Of the law in me vested, pronoune
you husband and wife, and be s.eppe
forward aud kissed her red lips.
Slap went her hand in his face, and sh
clutched his hair The new husban'
jumped in to take the woman away, ant
TO protect her, as the justice supposed
when in self preservation he Lit him RAJ
on the nose. The woman pitched into th
new husband, who in turn attacked heI
and for about five minutes there was
general husting.
At last the parties were separated
when the man and woman commences
another attack the blood and hair fyin,
in all directions. Down came the stove
over went the table, catter went the chair
and into the street went the justice, with
black eye, and the bosom of his shirt look
ing like warranty deed, covered with re,
seals.
A crowd rushed up stairs, and foun
the man and woman on the floor clenched
and tearing and scratching each other Tx
two mad cats---the man getting the worst
The newly married couple were separat
ed, when by the aid of two interpreters,
was discovered that the night before, tn
parties occupying shanties in the lowe
part Of The town, had got into quarre
over stove-pipe, which was claimed b.
both, and from words they came TO blow,
| Each party had FASTENED to the justice
office in the morning for a warrant for tn
| other, with the result above stated. TIL
last news from there was that parties ha
, gone in search of another justice TO ur
, marry them, while the general cause {
their terrible squabble, was setting U
boys and bathing his bunged eye in can
I phor aud whiskey.
- An Euglishman had heard Of th
Yankees habit for Dragging, and he though
he would cut the comb of that propensity
He saw some huge watermelons on
nj -, .