davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1865-03-22
WHOLE NUMBER 155.

A Rich SToRT-A Parkersburg paper says
that several members Of the Legislature took
the cars at Grafton, late on the evening Of
the 10th ult, for Wheeling, and among the
number was Mr.. G., of somewhat large pro-
portions physically, and Mr.: D., of uropor-
tonal undersize. These twO-the stalvart
Mr.. G., and the smooth faced little Mr.. D.
took berth together, it seems IN a sleeping
car. The little man laid behind and the
good natured, waggish Mr.. G. before. Mr.
D. soon was sleeping and snoring f1riOusly.-
Mr.. G. more restless under the legislative
burdens, soon arose, and was sitting by the
stove, when an elderly lady came aboard and
desired a sleeping berth. Albright, madam
said Mr.. g. i took a berth with nsy son.
and you can occupy my place in that berth
where my little boy is sleeping" Taking g.
at his word, the lady disrobed, and laid down
with the boy. After quiet repose Of some
time, the boy, Mr.. D. became restless from
some cause, and began to kick around to the
old lRdy. So in a maternal manner, she pat
ted the boy on the back, and said: aLs
still, sonny; Pa said might sleep with you"
Who are your said the Legislator, "Pmuo
boyi Tn member of the West Virginia
Legislaturel" It is said the old lady swoon-
ed.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1865-03-22
Ezsmpts.

THE Buffalo Commercial Advertiser thus
humorously sums up the various classes that
will be exempted from the draft, under Gen.
Fry's recent order:
l. Women of all ages and oomplexiOns,
when of the female persuasion.
2. Very dead men, who can produce the
receipt of the undertaken. Those simply
"Kilt' will be held to service.
8. Sound healthy men who have within
the last week enlisted for three years and
gone to the front. An one years men will
be drafted and compelled to serve double
4. Men born blind, on furnishing medi-
cal certificate to the effect that their sight has
been growing no better ever since very fast
Those having single optic left, whether the
right or not, will be compelled to go zone
eye on it"
5. Men with nary leg, ifthey can furnish
evidence satisfactory to establish this fact
Peg-legged men, that is men with a single
leg, are subject to the draft. To such the
Commissary General will serve out limbs Of
cork with their other rations, the cost to be
deducted from their bounty money. No
soldier will be allowed to retain his cork leg
after the expiration ofhis term of service.
6. Men born without arms, when it can
be shown that they have not been engag-
ed as teachers Of penmanship or in cutting
out paper ikenesses with their toes. Such
will be taken into the service and detailed to
act as assistant editors of newspapers to be
established in captured Rebel cities.
7. Men over three hundred and sixty
FIVE years Of age, when accompanied by their
parents. Men under ten years of age, will be
received until the PRONUNCIATION Of an official
bulletin, signed by the Provost Marshal Gen
eral to the effect that the various drum corps
are filed.
6. An other persons whatsoever will be
held liable to service, and viii take their
chances, however slim.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1865-03-22
A Printer in Luck.

THE Missouri Democrat IS responsible for
the following description of a romantic mar
riage:
Three or four weeks ago prominentmem-
Ger of the typographical fraternity inserted
matrimonial advertisement in the Democrat
setting forth that he was a candidate for Hy-
menial honors, and would receive sealed pro-
posals from all fair bidders As the notice
enumerated certain very solid attractions on
the part of the candidate, it was responded
to from far and near, and by about hundred
bidders. Some of the letters were decidedly
spicy. We were permitted to peruse the
tender epistles, but supposed the young ty-
po was only in fun and had no serious inten-
tons of Setting up" a matrimonial "take"
unless It should be "Goublc-leaded" and 9TH
erwise 'fat."
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1865-03-22
Josh Billings on shanghais.


TIE shanghai reuster is a gentle, and
speaks in a form tung. He is built on piles
like our Sandy Hill crane. If hehad bin bilt
with legs, he wud recemble the peruvian
lama He is not a game animal, but quite
often comes off sekond best in a ruff and tum-
BILE fte; like the injins that can't stand civil
ization, and are fast disappearing Tha roost
on the ground similar tew the-mud-turkle-
Tha often go tew sleep standing, and sum
times pitch over, and when tha do tina enter
the ground like a pick-axe. There feed con-
sisfs Nv corn in the ear. The crow like a
iackass troubled with bronkeesucks. Tha
will eat as much to onst as a district sIule
master, and generally sit down right oph tew
keep from tippingover Tha are dreadful IN
handy to kooll, you have to bile one end Nv
them to time, you cant git them awl into
potash kittle tu onst.
The female reuster lays an egg az bigg az
Eokernut, and IL sick fora week afterwards.
and when she matches out a litter Of young
Shanghais, she has tew brood over them
standing, and the kant kiver but Of them
the rest stand around on the outside, lik boys
around cirkus tent: Citing peep under the
kanvas whenever tina can. The man who
grst brought the breed into this country
ouht to own them all and be obliged tew
feed them on grasshOppers, caught bi hand.
I uever owned but one and he got choIed
to death by a kink in clothes line, but not
till he had swallowed 18 feet uvit. Not any
Shanghai for me if you pleze; I would rather
board a travelling cOlporter, and as for eating
one, give me billed owl rare dun, or a tur-
kee buzzard, roasted hole and stuffed with a
pair of injun rubber boots, but not emmy
Shanghai for me, not a Shanghai!-Pougb-
keepsian.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1865-03-22

The chamberlains, whose duty it was
to bear the train, went through the per
formance of raising something from off
the floor, then lifted their hands level
with their breasts, not wishing it to be
thought that they saw nothing.
While the monarch proudly headed
the procession beneath his magnificent
canopy every body in the stree and at
the windows cried aloud, What a su-
perb costume What a graceful train !
What perfect make" Noperson would
have it known that he saw nothing had
he done so he would have been declared
incapable of holding Office. Never be-
fore had his grand ducal clothes excited
such an amount of admiration.
"But I dentsee thathe has any clothes
on at all" observed a little child.
"Holy Father only listen to the in
nocentl" said the parents and the crowd
soon whispered among themselves the
child's remark.
"There is little child who says that
the Grand Duke has no clothes on at ALL"
Gle has no clothes on at all I'' finally
shouted the crowd and the Grand Duke
was extremely vezed, fer it seemed to
him that they we're right. He, however,
was resolved on the course to follow.
Under any circumstances I must 60
through with It to the end, &" thought he
Then he drew himself up more proud
ly than ever, and the chamberlains con-
tinued respectfully to bear the train which
did not exist.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1865-03-22
StIttt 9uttrr.
TO GO Or NOT TO GO.
A sECEsH soLnoQUE.

To 90, or not to 60, that is the question:
Whether It pays best to suffer pestering
By idle girls and garrulous old women,
Or take up arms against host Of Yankees,
And by opposing, get killed-to die, to sleep,
(Git cont D and in this sleep to say We ''sink
To rest, by all our eountry's wishes best"
And live forever-(that's a contamination
Just whatPm after.) To march, to fight
To fight! perchance to die; aye, there's the rub
For while I'm asleep who'd care for Mary
And the babes-when Bill is the ground,
Who'd feed 'em hey ? There's the respect
have for them that make life sweet.
For who would bear the bag TO mill,
Plow Dobbin, cut the wheat, dig taters,
XIII hogs, and do all sorts of druggery.
If I am fool enough to get Yankee
Bullet on the -brain2 Who'd cry for me?
Would patriotism pay my debts, when dead
ButO, the dread of something after death;
That undiscovered fellow who'd court Mary,
And do my huggin'-that's agony,
And makes me want to stay at home,
Specially as air.'t mad with nobody.
Shells and bullets, make towards Of rs all,
And biane my skin, If snortin. stceds
And pomp and Circumstances of war,
Are to be compared with feather bed
And Mary by my side
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1865-03-22
Gracefully Done.

ONE ofthe most genial, courteous, and tai
ented NJ c., is Hon. S. S. Cox, of the Frank
lin District. His personal popularity has
made him hundreds of votes at every cleo
ton in which he has been a candidate, and
his personal magnetism of character, has
made him the hardest man to beat of all the
Democrats in Ohio. It will be seen by the
brief, beautiful and hearty remarks which
accompanied motion to thank Speaker Col
fax, that party bitterness, and parliamentary
conflicts, have not soured the temper of Mr.
Cox, nor made him cynical. He closed his
Congressional labor by vote of thanks to
Speaker Colfax, and accompanied the motion
by a few remarks, as follows:
"Mr. Cox said he desired to make this an
earnest expression Of the feeling of the House
During a most unexampled and historic peri
Cd, when a great conflict was progressing,
and when the throes Of the Nationsealled for
extraordinary scenes, unusual and additional
IL. responsible duties has been imposed on the
presiding officer ol the House. he would
say for himself and others around him, that
the Speaker has, in the discharge of those
duties, moderated, in great degree the pas
si0ns C: Representatives, sometimes more or
less affected by The heat and clamOr Of de-
bate. For this he was not only entitled to
our personal, but the public regard. In con
clusion Mr. Cox said: Ipropose, without
formality and with earnestness, to tender to
him our thanks and good viii. I trust, sir,
hat in the future the same moderation and
benignity may radiate in this House as ithas
radiated from the Chair during the present
Congress. We shall part here with unusual
good feeling. wish it could pervade our
whole people. In the language of the Bible
and in this presence I would have all rever-
emily pray, ''Let all bitterness and wrath and
anger and clamor and evil speaking be put
away from you, with all malice, and be ye
kind to one another, even as Coo, for Christ's
sake, hath forgiven you"
The motion was carried almost unanimous
Iy, three OF four in secession corner swapping
out "no. = Cleve7qnd Herald
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1865-03-22
8I sorts of 6uoo 8fa0ing.
Signs, Wonders and Tokens.

H., .u.r -.,. -. H.
N -, " :. a. f..-a- D.. = :
' '''' -, IN, - -. -. :.
-, ..'.,.,....d.. ,,,. l',.'II ~ 90
''O " ''' - - 10 7'''' '' II ''' '''' ''-' '''--
~
1 ~ .'','S-,l' you see DE new lHoo" ,O'
''l' '.'s' ''.''s ',''o-' Hi.SS OF ,.,'''3" INC
''eo 'o!'N l. i'.''''5 Is ''.'' o., WA. Je u'''o,
u o0' IL '''' ss5 o'., ''.' - o., y, -
''F' CT. . '' see 10 ''.'.''''y '' .'-'''' '''''-
}',, wa '' '.'1--'
nv i''.''',''' '',''''' ~ " ''''S
'7'' ~ ''''S ''' '1'''-.'' % 'o''O"s
!, '''' nose .'l''es
'' ~ ,'.-''- : ~ ',,.'-s
~ .'' '''.''s ''''''', - " '''' '' '0o''
'''''. '.'''..'' ''' - '''o' ,'~'''' .,
''''' " ,.'i " ''''' '-,'' :, VI ''es''-''' anu
me, WIZ '''l J o"r '''e''.''''
L A'''--, '.'o'.'', 09' ''"' '''-'
[.''' 'a ~ -'''''''
Oo,'r .'e ','' .,,''''
z--,-,--- ''.I cl.,,17 80, H., -, ,,,,o.
,ro ozo.,rs;on nooat = f,noroI rroossg;on Won
III ,,,ra ~ ,,;orr,on+ tl,.t J,r
Tau p,a,r n. -. but ,,,f;ta
,orr,ants - h, r,,orr;,7 ;r5;o,+os bod IroI, for
tbo br;7o lit ba;,,o. or,r1o,,otio Of inno-
CONGO
,,T.-. ,,....--r.;,,
- -, h,an
A,o+,,a- bo. o,7Io5.
art nov ba ca
Pnt tl,o .l.u :, l,,ror
g. - ~ ,...Lo- .,-
-.
u7cror .;,, 1,or.ro tno.1.r,st
W. viii orn boforo r;,btn
P,nT-rr Ifr.o,, mott -,bor r-o1,,iro
...-.7 -, :. ;,,.5;,a.o, III Ill.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1865-03-22

USEFUL ANniALs.--The american Monthly
formerly the KnjcEer5ocker-for February,
contains a "Chapter on Rats, from which we
extract the following paragraph:
"The rat, poor fellow, is one Of the most
tormented creatures, having many enemies
and few friends, and whenever he makes his
appearance his life is in danger from dogs,
owls, hawks, men and-cats. These con-
slant enemies keep him wide awake, with
his little sharp face, so peculiarly cunning and
knowing, as the most superficial observer
must have noticed. Hated as he * and
killed by man, his sworn foe, still he becomes
a most useful servant to our ungratelul race
by acting as a most humble public scavenger.
Wherever man comes and pitches his tent,
even in the most remote parts of our earth,
there, as if by magic our old friends, the rat
family, appear. There were thousands Of
rats in the camps before Sebastopol, ald a
rat-hunt was not uncommon in the trenches;
the sentries could see them at night, going to
the nearest water for drink. Taking posses
sion quietly of out-houses, drains and cellars,
the rat devours the refuse and filth from
human dwellings, which, if left to decay,
would eugender malaria and fever. How are
these evils to be prevented2 Why, by those
poor prosecuted rats, who devour every
morsel of concentrated fever and cholera, as
they meet it, bene6ting themselves as well
as their persecutors
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1865-03-22

subject Of anti-slavery, and their great joy
was that in the providence of God a time had
come when there was no obligation on them
to be hypOcrites any longer, but when they
could act with the party with which they
had always sympathisod. Gaughter.)
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1865-03-22

THURIow WfEo, in alettrr published sfsw
days ago, says:
am informed, and believe that through
rec!,Iessness and dishonesty in the Commits
sary Department the government has been
recently wronged out of million Of dollars
by al open contract for $4,000 bags of reoi-
fee. Is it not time, than, that an example
should be made of dishonest government. of
fcials The peculiarly in our case is, that
the most unscrnpulOusly rapacious officials
are those who affect the highest sense OF du-
ty and patriorism-the 'holier thla thou"
meu-the very eensors Of official integrity.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1865-03-22

DnRRHGsA AND DYsEsTERY-We have ex-
amined great number of letters from some
of the most citizens Of Cincinnati and Coying-
ton, etc, speaking in the highest terms Of
DR.. Strickands Anti-Cholera Mixture for the
cure of diarrhcea and dysentery. The letters
are too long to publish. Mr. Woods, of Gov
inoton, saws he was pronounced incurahle by
the best doctors in Cincinnati, and one bottle
of DR.. Strickland's Anti-Cholera Mixture eff
ected a permanent cure after suffering for
months with the worst form Of diarrhes aud
dysentery.
Another says lie was discharged from the
United States service after suffering in the
hospital for months as incurable, and as
last resource tried Striekand's Anti-Ch6lara
Mixture he got well directly and has now en-
tered the army again in good health. One
man writes he has cured seven or eight very
bad cases of diarrhoea and dysenterY in the
barracks he was in with one bottle Of this
valuable medicine. In fact we could 6lEhaIf
our paper with similar items from these let
ters. Why does not our Government secure
this valuable preparation. Our army ought
to be supplied with IT, II IS but short time
since one of our men laid in a very low con-
dition at one of our Cincinnati Hospitals, bis
wife was sent for, his doctors considered his
a hopeless case She, however, gave him
Strickands Anti-Ch0lera Mixture, and in
three weeks he was able to return home with
his wife to New Richmond 0. All these
cases right at home speak for thenselves-
We hope all the soldiers viii put bottle Of
it in their knapsacEs, it NAV save them or
some of their comrades. 1t is for sale bg all
respectable druggists.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1865-03-22
LAW HEWsPAPIRsl

!, subscribers who do not give express notice
. the contrary are considered as Wishingto con
egetneir subscriptions to the paper.
7.a4A subscribers order the discOntinuauce Of
heirperiOdicals, the publisher may continue to
eng FaeHl untll-all arrearages are paid.
e o.slfsGbscribeFsn neglect or refuse to take their
periodicals from the Office to which they we're di-
-ected, they are held responsible tlthey have set
tledthe bill and ordered them discontinued.
II subscribers remove to other places with
sent to decentralization, they yareheldrespon-
sible.
5. The Courts shavedecidedth dthatrefusingtot
periodicals from the Office, or Removing and leay-
lhg them uncaled for, is prinaa faeie evidence Of
Intent tiohalfmud
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1865-03-22

Dyspepsia, Nervousness, and Dabilty, Dr..
StrjcLlands T5njc.-We can recommend those
suffering with Loss Of Appetite, Indigestion,
or Dyspepsia. Nervousness and Nervous De-
bility, to use Strickland's Tonic. It is q veg
etable preparation, free from alcoholic liquors.
it strengthens the whole nervous system; it
creates a good appetite, and is warranted to
cure Dyspepsia and Nervous Debility.
For sale by Druggists generally at One
Dollar per bottle. Prepared by DR.. A. StFick-
and, 6 East Fourth Street, Cincinnati, O.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1865-03-22
aF0LUMEIII. NO. 81.
URBANA UNION
q. a. = =, go.

9 OFFToELCoulson's Building, ( second hoor,
Westside North Main-street, near the Square.
TERMs:-S2 50 per annum, invariably in ad-
vance. 81 so for Six Months.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1865-03-22
now THAT PARTY HAS rAPERED.

We continued to increase, and by and by
it began to look as if this new party would, at
some time, have the loaves and fishes of Of
fee TO dispense. Then it seemed as if a po-
rtical pentecost came on the land. Converts
came faster than we could discipline them
The doors of the party were wide open, like
the sanctuary of God, to all offenders, and
the thief and the hypocrite did not stumble
on its threshold. but in they came; and the
proaigate in life, the venal in politics, the
malignant at heart and the brutal in manner
all came in with the great multitude Of the
poor and the honest and the disintere5ted and
the patriot
But, sir, when the apostles went fishing
and threw out their nets and made great
haul, they caught fish of every kind. So all
these people came in and we were a great
party. It happened to US just as it happened
to a great many before, and win happen a
great many times again; the converts that
were the more recent and from the most bit
ter of our opponents, were the most noisy in
professions of zeal for their new found faith
confess, Mr.. President, that I was astonish-
ed beyond measure when found out after
we actually came into power, that all the Of
fcers at the other end of the avenue, in the
treasury, the post Office, the war, and all the
other departments, had always been republi-
cans, and the great trial of their life had been
to smother their deep convictions upon the
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1865-03-22

MATRIMONIAL jealousy is said to have origi-
mated in this wise: "Adam used to eofto
heaven in the evening to pray. One time,
Satan made friendly call at Adams resi-
dence, and Eve, not knowing where her
husband had gone, was little petulant and
lonesome. Satan told her that Adam had
gone to heaven to call on another woman
he supposed 1t was all right; be was syerss
to making misohiefin families, but, really, the
conduct Of her husband was remarkable, in
thus leaving so beautiful woman slone.-
He then took Eve to a fountain and showed
her a picture Of the woman her husband was
in he habit of visiting Adam came home
after a while, and got a regular blowing up,
and they made so much noise about it that
both were unceremoniously kicked out of
Paradise -75
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1865-03-22


MNNNA YNOWsNNAs
Of dollars each year in advertising their
merits, and publishing the
MNvN0vOMs SevtISlcOtOs
which have been showered upon him from
NM NOvts OS NE Country,
The peculiarly Of the
BNOON PNvtSVov ONA P1As
is that they strike at the root of Disease,
BY eTadieating every particle Of impurity
IN ne Blood,
for the life and health of the body do
pends upon the purity of the blood
If the blood is poisoned, the body drags
out a miserable existence. These medi-
zines
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1865-03-22
Woman.

VERY intelligent women, we find by OBJ
servation, are seldom beautiful The forma-
ton Of their features, and particularly their
forehead, is more or less masculine. Misc
Lander was rather pretty and fenin inc. in the
face, but Miss Sedgwick, Miss Pardue, Miss
Leslie, and the late Anna Mariah and Jane
Porter the contrary. 0neofthe Misses POr-
ter had a forehead as high as that of an intel
lectual man. We never knew of a very tall
ented man who was admired for his personal
beauty. Pope was awful ugly; DR.. johnson
was no better; Misabeau was the ugliest man
in all France, and yet he was the greatest IA
vorite with the ladies. Women more fre-
quently prize men for their sterling qualities
Of the mind, than men do women. DR..
johnson chose a woman who had seaacely
an idea above an oyster. He Thought her
the loveiest creature in existence, if we may
judge by the inscription he left on her tomb.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1865-03-22

jan, be good to your mOther-in-law.
Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1865-03-22
A Sketch of the Republican Party.

SENATOR HALE who knows whereof he
speaks, gives the following sketch Of the Re
publican party:
Let me say word now about our Repub-
lican party, or Union party. Mr.. President,
the history of that party which has controlled
this country recently, I do not say it controls
it now, but the history of that party which
made the great revolution inpolitics is very
curious and a very instructive one, We be-
gan when we were but a handful. I recog-
nize around me now but very few faces that
were familiar in those early conflicts and
struggles.
The weekly Ottumwa courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1857-1872, 1865-05-25
A Singular Prediction.


Mrs. Lydia Maria Child, in q letter 10 the
New York lad pendent, relates the follow
ing noteworthy incident: ...r,
With regard TO the violent manner of his
death. have you noticed that il was singu-
larry limited at by an astrological predic-
ton months before il happened? 4 mod
crn believer in astrology, who signs HIM
self Thomas Lister. calculated the horo-
scope of Abraham Lincoln, and published
ii in a n.w> paper. September 90, 1864. II
wasthcreiii stated that the President was
born under Jupiter, a planet whose iniiu-
enco usually made men fortunate in their
undertakings. Itpredicted that he would
be reelected in November. because, a,tra-
logically speaking, "His ruling planet will
then be trausiting over his ascendant in his
own house." He goes on to say: "The
transit of the evil planet Mars, in opposi-
tion with his ascendant, plainly shows that
the struggle viii continue till April, 1866.
when the foes of the Union will be Gem
PEELED to Law down their arms. In Decem-
ber, 1864, and January. 1855, some deep,
! base plot will be got against the President,
slsowa by the transit of Mars; and tile as
pect Of the planet shows danger by pistol
shot or so,ae internal machine. During
these months more than ordinary caution
and watchtulness will be highly necessary.
After Febrbary that evil transit will have
passed away. We could increase our re-
marks concerning the personal danger OF
the President. but believe forbearance 10
y be 9, virtue. sts' .'.s| fsaet'E tat.' ~ ''t