davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1865-12-13
EAT YOUR BROWN BREAD FIRST.

1t is plain but faithful saying, Eat
your brown bread first" nor is there bet
ter rule for young mans outset in the
Worthwhile you continue single, you
may live within as narrow limits as YOU
please; aud It's then you must begin to
save, in order to provide for the more en-
larged expenses of your future family. Be-
sides, plain frugal life is then supported
most cheerfully: tits your own choice and
it is justified on the best and most honest
principles in the world, and you have no.
body's pride to struggle with, or appetite to
master, but your own. Asyou advance in
life ard success, it would be expected you
should give yourself greater iodulgence,and
you may then be allowed to do it both rea-
sonably and safely.
North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1865-12-13
CAUSES OF SUICIDE,

AS long as education, manners, mora Is
and social intercourse continue rs they now
areas long as crimes, murders, and sui
cides are seductively detailed and daily
urnisbed to the public, through thous-
and channels, for the purpose of private
gain-as long as the perpetrators of crimes
and of homicides are held out, both on the
stage and from the press, as heroes of their
day-as long as the overflow of moral aud
religious principles, and the infection or
contamination of the public mind, are
made Of objects of gainful speculation, into
which persons in place or authority are not
considered dishonored by entering-as
long as the streams Of moral pollution are
allowed to flow without either strenuous, or
well-directed, or combined efforts to con-
fine or to contract them-as long as the
instant and efficient agents of self-destruc-
ton are sold in every street, at little or no
price, and to any purchaser-as long as
the struggles of great part les in politics
and religion absorb, in connection with the
details Of every vice and every crime, the
public mind, each party eudeavoring to
depress and ruin the others, without re-
gard to the general vea-as long as pro-
vison for the pecuniary wants of the state,
and the power and patronage of Office,
constitute the chief objects of governments,
as long as justice is within the reach only
of the wealthy, as long as laws protect
chiefly the bad, as long as the weak are
unshielde d, and the deserving unrewarded,
as long as ee
The whips and scorna of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud mans cortume-
ly, fa.
The pangs of despisel love. the laws delay, -
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of the UNIV rthy takes.
shall continue to 'pnzzle the villas long
as the lives of all classes are endangered,
and their minds distracted, by unprincipled
and ignorapt pretenders to medical and re-
ligious knowledge, who are allowed, and
encouraged, to take advantage of the cred-
nifty and fears of the weak minded-as
long, in short, as moral degradation phys
ical destitution> exist, and as long as the
safety of the peoples is not the supreme la W
of the state AS long as these several con-
ditions ofa country continue, and in pro
portion to their separate and combined in
fnence-so long will suicides be frequent
or even Increased.
North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1865-12-13
COMMON CRIERS.

tits surprising (says recent writer)how
infectious tears are at wedding First
of all the bride cries, because she's going
to be married and then, of course, the
bridemaids cry, perhaps, because thev are
not; and the fond mamma cries, because
she'll l-l-l-lose her d d-darling; and then
the fond papa cries, because he thinks its
proper; aad then all the ladies cry, because
ladies, as rule, will never miss chance
ofcrying; and then, perhaps, the grooms-
men cry, to keep the ladies company and
then the old pew opener cries, to show
what deep pecuniary interes. he takes in
the proceedings; and then, perhaps, the
public cries, the public being, of course,
composed exclusively of petticoats.- But,
notwithstanding all these Niobes, who
make quite Niagara Of eyewater around
them, we own we never yet have seen the
bridegroom cry, and should about as soon
expect to hear the beadls whimper.
North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1865-12-13
AGE OF THE PYRAMIDS OF EGYPT.

Mahmud Bey, astronomer to the Viceroy
of Egypt, has publis he'd an interesting treat
Use, with the view of proving their dates
from their connection with Sirius, the Dog
Star. The late Viceroy, Said Pasha, Or
dered him to work out his problem; He
found the exact measurment of the largest
to be 231 metres to the base, and 146, 40
from the ground to the apex. Hence it
follows that the sides are at an angle of 81
deg. As sec. Mahmud Pasha found that the
angles of the other three pyramids, near
Memphis. were on an average inclination
of52 deg. The fact that the sides of these
monuments are placed exactly true to the
four quarters of the globe, seemed to point
to some connection with the stars, s,and Nah.
mud Bey found Sirius sends his rays nearly
vertically upon the south side, when pass
ing the meridian Ghizeb. He then found,
on calculating back, the exact position the
stars occupied in past ceuturies-that the
rays of Sirius were exactly vertical to the
south side of the Great Pyramid, $500 BIC.
Sirius was dedicatedto the god Sothis, or
10th Anubus = and hence the astronomer
pronounces that the pyramids were built
about $500 B. c., a date nearly coinciding
with Bunseh's calculation, which fixes the
reign of Cheops at thirty four centuries be-
fore Christ. ...s
North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1865-12-13
VOL. 5 NO. 10
SUB ROSA,

The term "under the rose," as implying
secrecy had its origin during the year BIC.
ATT, at which time Pausanias, the com.
mander of the Confederate feet was en-
gagged in an intrigue with Xerxes for the
marriage of his daughter and the subjuga-
ton of Greece to the Median rule Their
negotiations were carried on in a building
attached to the temple of Minerva; called
the Brazen House, the roof of which was a
garden forming bower of roses so that
the plot, which was conducted with the ut
most secrecy, was literally matured under
the rose. 1t was discovered, however, by q
slave, and, as the sanctity of the place for
bade the Atheians to force Pausanias out,
or kill him there, they finally walled him
in and left him to die of starvation. 1t f.
nally grew to be custom among the Athe-
ians to wear roses in their hair whenever
they wished to communicate to another ss-
cret which they wished to be kept inviolate.
Hence the saying, sub rosa, among hem,
and now among almost all Christian nations
North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1865-12-13

PkRFEcTIoN.-A French preacher was
once descanting from the pulpit with great
eloquence on the beauties of creation.
whatever" said he, "comes from the
hands of Nature is complete; She forms
everything perfect One of the congre-
CATION, very much deformed, and having
a very large hump, went up to him at the
close of the discourse, and asked, "What
think ye of me, holy father? am I perfect ?"
TO which the preacher replied, very cool
ey; "Yes, for hump-backed man, quito
perfect ?"
North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1865-12-13
BILL. ARP ADDRESSES ARTEMUs
WARD.

ROME, Ga, Sept. 1, 1865.
Mr.. Artemus Ward, Shown,an, Sur =
The resun l write to you in partickler, are
bekaus you are about all the man know in
all Goods country" so ealIed. Fer sum
several W eeks hav been wantin tn say
sumthin. For sum several years we rebs,
SO called, but now late of said country de-
ceased, hav been tryin NIFTY hard to do
sumthin. We didn't quite do it, and now
is very painful, assure you, to dry up all
of "a sudden and make out like we wasn't
thar.
My friend, | want to say sumthin. |
suppose there is no law agin thinkin, but
thinkin don't help me. | don't let down
my thermometer. Unjust explode myself
generally so as to feel better. You see
I'm tryin to harmonize. Pm tryir to soften
down my feelings, I'm endeavorin to subju-
gate myselfto the level of surroundin cir
cnmstances, so called. But | can't do it
until am allowed to say somethin. /
want to quarrel with somebody and then
make friends. | amt no giant killer. |
amt 70 Norwegian bar. l amt boar con-
striker: but I'll be hornswaggled if the
talkin and the writin and the slanderin has
got to be all done on one side any longer
Sum of your folks has got to dry up or turn
our folks loose. It's blame outrage, So
called. Amt your editors got nothin else
to do but to peck at US, and squib at us,
and crow at us !? Is every man what kan
write a paragraf to consider us as bars in a
cage, and be always iobbin at us to hear
US growl? Now you see, my friend, that's
what's disharmonious, and do you Just tell
cm, one and all, e pluribus unum, so-called,
that if they don't stop it at once, or turn us
loose to say what we please, why we rcbs,
so-ealled, have unanimously and jointly
and reverely resolved-to-to-to-think
very hard of it-if not harder.
That's the way to talk it. amt
agwine to commit myself I know when
North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1865-12-13

The world is a netting world at best,
And will ehafe you sooner or later: s..
In fact tits rough as a chestnut-bur
Or a rasping nutmeg gtater:
Especially if you happen to be .
Endowed with sympathy human, ...
For the frailties of sinful brother man
Or worse-of an erring woman.
The world is plea SAINT spot enough,
If you only choose to take it ,..
and its stupid mumme ries with smile
lis the best that you make it:
Never need TO NOPE and mourn
Ger it folies, and its troubles
Weep if you will with the child of ill,
But laugh at its air blown bubbles.
The world is a carnal one, alas,
With vulgar taste for quarrels
And the biggest dog in the fight s best,
Whatever its code of morals -
Where the goId-god kisses his fnger-tips
70 the fools in life's grand revel
And virtue parleys then leads the dance
With the world, the flesh and the devil.
A cheating old world, az all men know
Would they condescend to own it,
And truth so rare 'mong the pearls they wear
That knavery scarce may loan it
For an hour or so, to play the saint
At an Adermanic dinner,
Though conscience peer from dainty roast,
To threaten the famished sinner.
frolicking, ,'rolicking world all round
To the butterflies Of fashion,
Whose lives at best, are soulless Jest
Too cold for The play of passion
And all too careless to note the sweep
OF human nity's wreck-stre river,
Where souls go down to shore unknown
With plunge, and deathful shiver.
Do what VIC will, tits a bungling world.
And the less We plan the better:
As we'll stand still on the tread mill wheel,
And accept our fate to the letter
For a throne or a daily ration
And ten to one, when it ali is done,
'Tis huge miscalculation.
IT'S often said that the worlds stage,
And we are the wretehed players
We act our part with an aching he art,
And bow our best at the prayers
And behind the scenes there crouch the ghosts
Of thousand desolations,
Though, gallery, pit and dome resound
With tumultuous acclamations.
wearying. worrying, hurrying world,
Where the wisest loose their senses:
And the whole when weighed but masquerade
Of the shallo0cst pretenses
But comfortable world, at last
five only rightly view it,
And though we abuse it with might and main,
Most insanely we pursue it,
North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1865-12-13
THE GREAT RULE OF CONDUCT.

The rule of conduct followed by Lord
Erskine-a man of sterling independence
of principle and scrupulous adherence to
truth-are worthy Of being engraven on
every young mans heart. 1T was first
command and counsel ofmy earliest you'll" "
he said always do what my conscience told
me to do, my duty, and to leave the conse-
quence to God. shall carry with me the
memory, and, trust, the practice, of this
parental lessen, to the grave. | have hith-
erto followed it, and | have no reason to
complain that my obedience to it has been
temporal sacrifice. / have found it on the
contrary, the road to prosperity and wealth,
and | shall point out the same path to my
children for their pursuit. Aad their can
be no doubt, after all, that the only safe
rule of conduct is to follow implicitly the
guidance of an enlightened conscience.
North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1865-12-13

A LUCID ExPLANArIoN.-An English =
man travelling in the south of Ireland, over.
took peasant travelling the same way.
"who lives in that house on the hill, Pat ?"
said the traveller. "One Mr.. Cassidy, sir"
replied Pat "but he's dead,rest his soul -
"How long has he been dead?" asked the
gentleman. "Well, your, honor, if he'd
lived till next month, he'd be dead Just
twelve months
"Of what did he die 2" "Troth, sir. hS
died Of Tuesday"
North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1865-12-13
TUNKHANNOCK PA, WEDNESDAY, DEC l3, 1865

aoin. or that castoroil and salts cost money.
Sum of 'em' hundred years old, are whin-
in around about going to cawlege. The
truth is, my friend, sumbody's badly fool
ed about this bizhess Sumbody has draw
ed the elefaht in the lottery, and don't
know what to do with him. He's just
throwin' his snout about loose, and by and
by he'll hurt sumbody; These niggers
will have to 60 back to the plantations and
work. I amt going to support nary one
of 'em, and when you hear anybody say
so, you can tell 'em OTIS le'' so called.
I golly, l amt got nothing to support my
self on. We fout ourselves out of every
thing exceptin' children and land, and l
suppose the lands are to be turned over to
the niggers for grave-yards.
Well, my friend, don't want much. I
aint ambitious, as I used to wnz. You
all have got your shows, and munkeys, land
sirkusses, and brass bands and Origins, and
can play on the petroleum and the harp of
a thousand strings, and 50 on, but I've only
got one favor to AK of you, l want enuff
powder to kill yaller stump-tail dog,
that prowls round my premises at night.
Pom honor, wont shoot at any thing blue
or black or mulattel. Viii! you send it ?
Are YOU and your foaks, SO skeered of me
and my foaks, that you wont let US hvae
eny amunlshun? Are the squirrels and
crows and black rakoons to eat up our
poor little corn patches! Are the wild
turkeys to gobble all around us with im-
punity? If mad dog takes the hiderfoby,
is the while community to run itself to
death to get out of the way? l golIy! it
looks like your pcpll had all tux the reb-
elfoby fur good, and was never gwine to
git over it. See here, my friend, you must
send me little powder and a ticket to
your show, and me and you will harmonic
sertin!
With these few remarks I think / feel
better, and hope I haint made nobody
fitin mad, for I'm not on that line at this
time. am trooly your friend-all present
or accounted for,
BILL ARP, so-cALLED
P.S.-Old man Harris wanted tobuy my
fiddle the other day with Confedrik mon-
ey. He said it would be good agiu. He
says that Jim Fupderbunk told him that
Warren Jack seed a man who had jest
cum from Vi:ginny, and that he sed that a
man by the name of Mack G, Million is
coming over with million of men. But
nevertheless, notwithstanding, somehow or
somehow else, Pm dubus about the money.
IF you was me Artemus, would you make
| Al c 4 - .
North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1865-12-13
Nnet's Gnrner.
From the Scranton Register
WoRLDLY) CONCLUSIONS.

By STELLA OF LACKAwANNA.
North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1865-12-13

Terms-l copy year. lin advance) S2.O0.
not paid within six months, $3.50 will be charged
NO paper will be DISCONTINUED, until all ar
rearages are pad unless at the option of publisher.
North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1865-12-13
BILL ARP, so-CALLEp

MISS FAwcET, the English actress, was
one evening dressing for part, when boy
attached to the theatre knocked at the door.
"Please, Miss, there's woman at the back
who says she wants two orders to see the
play" "What 10 her name? Go and ask
her. promised no orders" 81 did ask
her name, but she said it was no telling it,
because you didn't know her." "Not know
her, and she expects orders! Has the wo-
man her faculties about her?' 81 think she
have ma,am, for / see her have a bundle tied
up in a pocket handkerchief under her arm. "
North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1865-12-13

AweeklyDemocratic
paper, devoted to Poll
os, News, the Arts
and Sciences DC. Pub
ished every Wednes-
pay, at Tunkhannock
Wyoming Ceunty,Pa
BY HARVEY SlCKLER
North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1865-12-13

her, and she expects orders! Has the wo-
man her faculties about herr" 81 think she
have ma,am, for | see her have bundle tied
up in a pocket handkerchief under her arm. "
A SINGULAR CAsE.-About ffty-fve
years ago, young lady and gentleman
formed an association as young people often
do, and it was supposed by the friends
that it would terminate in matrimony. But
for some reason it was dissolved and they
separated. The young man subsequently
married and lost three wives-the last one
within the last eight or nine months. The
young lady married, and lived with her
husband over fifty-three years, and raised
numerous famiIy.-During the last year
her husband died The lady remained a
widow about eleven months, when her for
mer suitor made an advance to her-he be
ing about IS years old, and the lady IL
and they were finally married. The par
ties are living in the vicinity of Lynn P. o.
Susquehanna County, Pa, and the gentle
man gave his consent to the publication of
notice-Montrose Rep. a
A CoNvEIENr CUsToM.-The author Of
@Wanderings in Brettany' gave the follow
ing illustration of thoughtful care for the
wants of manageable young men THE
peasantry around Jesselin retain their old
dresses and customs in perfection; the
girls especially, have habit that would
save much trouble were it introduced into
more civilized circles. They appear on
fete days in red under-petticoats, with white
or yellow borders around them; the num-
ber of these denote the portion the father,
is willing to give his daughter; each white
band means gold, and stands for thousand
francs per year. Thus a younge farmer
who sees face that pleases him, has only
to glance at the trimmings of the petticoat
ia learn liz an instant what amount OF rent
accompanies it."
North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1865-12-13
gusiness 9Otirs,

TT 8. COOPER, PHYSICIAN & SURGEON
Il. Newton Centre. Luzerne County IA.
Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1865-01-27
A Contrast.

At the commencement OF the, War Col
CoNNELL entered the volunteer service, and
continued in the army until after he had
been elected to the State Senate in the fall
Of 1868. Throughout the whole time he
was in the service, his conduct was that OF
q brave and efficient officer and gentle
man. He once was Democrat, and we
think committed great error in abandon
ing the Democratic party. No matter now
about that, however. On Thursday he took
occasion to protest, in the name Of humani-
ty, against the vindictiye and barbarous
policy of retaliation that Senator, who
has never been in the service, advocated in
q sort of pyrotechnic speech. The most
chivalric act we have ever known the latter
70 do, was to exhibit around as a trophy, a
piece of the shirt that was torn from the
body of General ZoLLICoFFER when he lay
dead on the battlefield Of Mill Springs
Men of this description are prone to he vim
dietive and blood-thirsty in their feelings;
but brave man and chivalrous oflicer-a
man whohas actively participated in bloody
war, and, therefore, has practical knowl-
edge Of the hardships of the soldier-looks
upon the exhibition of such feelings with
se0ru
Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1865-01-27
Proposed Important Amendments
fO The EnrOlllnent HRill.

The Washington correspondent of The
Cincinnati Commercial telegraphed the fol-
lowing, January 81:
Mr.. Wilson to-day in the Senate intro
duced number of amendments to the En-
rollment bill, which change itin its most i'm
portant particulars. Ihey. pr0uide that per-
sons already enrolled may be receiUed as SubSti-
tutes, and chat none shall be exempted by
reason of furnishing to the naval service,
unless such substitute shall be presented in
person to the enrolment board and accept
ed. Any person offering for asubsttute an
individual who is insane, convict, or who
is convicted of any crime, or who is de-
serter, or any person in a state of intoxiea-
ton, or shall dcfraud any substitute, shall
pay fine not exceeding one thousand dol
lars, and be imprisoned for the term of two
years or less, and any officer mastering in
to the service substitute in any of the
above conditions, shall be dishonorably dis
missed.
Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1865-01-27
A Word ON Pence.

There are men who talk as il war were q
J ormal condition, and who start at the sug-
/ estion of peace as if some wrong were
/, one the Nation. But all wars must have
n end, even those carried on, as so few
J yer have been, for the highest good of the
.eOple, though all may not be attained
which the victorious party, at the outset,
.,rOmised itself Ordinarily it is q struggle
{ endurance. 1t is question of pluck
! nd resources, and resources, as in all hu-
/ ian affairs, are the groundwork of cour-
re. Which can hold out the longest?
Which can hold out no longer? !?
| here comes always time when the last is
le vital question, and when it comes peace
, inevitable. We may or we may not have
cached that point, but the signs are, at
,ast, significant. and wise men will give
hem due consideration. Unwise, or at
: .ast thoughtless men. remember only that
Ie have been at war but four years, while
ther nations have, with more or less pa
ence, endured its calamities ten, twenty,
lirty years, with far less at stake. They
not remember that one year of modern
larfare, in the exhaustion attending it, in
;s enormous expenditure of blood and
reasure, is equal to five years of war
entury or half century ago.
Mr. Bldir's first uisit TO Richmond lods neither
uitless nor useless. or IL tc0uld not hare been
3peated. Without pretending to know any
ming of its details, we, in common with
verybody else, arrive at this conclusion.
Jot less significant is the gradual but steady
,ecline in the price of gold. 1t has been
.oing down for weeks, with certain fluctu-
.tions attributable merely to speculation.
iold-gamblers and brokers are not the ar
Jiters of our destiny. They cannot make
,eace, but they are careful observers of the
igns that herald it. Those who command
he market are advised, not only of all that
! going on at Washington. but their lines
f Communication extend to Davis Cabi-
iet and Lees headquarters.-Nep York
.'yiI,,no Tonao,,, Of