davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-12-29

TnE JUDGMENTS OF WoNEN.-Tn convcrsa
ton we once had with an eminent minister OF
tho church, no mado this fine observation !:
ave will say nothing Of the why In which
that sex usually conduct an argument; but
tho intuitvo Judgments Of women are often
moro to DO relied upon than the conclusions
which wo roach by an elaborate process of
reasoning. No man who hun an intelligent
wife, or is accustomed to the society Of cdu.
Gated women, will dispute this. Times with
out number you must have known them to de-
eide questions on tho instant, and with uner
ring accuracy, which you had been poring
over for hours. perhaps with no other result
than, to find yoursclf getting deeper and deeper
into the tangled maIo Of difficulties. 1t were
hardly generous to allcge that they achieve
these facts less by reasoning than sort OF "a
cacity which aproximates to the sure Instincts
OF the animal races and yet thore seems to DO
some ground for the remark Of D witty French
writer, that when a man has toiled. step by
step, up Q flight Of stairs, be will b sure to
find a woman at tho top: but she will not bc
able 70 tell how she got there. How shs got
there, however, is OF little moment. IL the
conclusions woman has reached are sound,
that is oil that concerns us. And that they
ara very apt to be round on the practical mat.
tcrs OF domestic and secular life. nothing but
prejudice or SELF conoeit can prevent % from
acknowledging. The, inference, therefore. 10
unavoidable, that the man who thinks IL be-
meath his dignity 70 take council with an in-
telligent wife stands IN bis own light, and be-
trays that lack Of judgment which hs tacitly
attributes TO her."
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-12-29

Man AND woNAs.-M-Man isa marvellous
and IN ,tchless model OF mechanism; mutable
mass Of mirth aud misanthropy; merry midst
mourning, mourning 'midst mirtb. Man mars
his mundane mission by mixing in monstrous
mummeries, mindless OF the meek monitions OF
his mighty Master, mildly misprising his mild
and moderate mandates. mid the manifold
manifestations Of the multiplied mcrcics metcd
out By his Maker. Muse, then, misguided
mortal, on tho magnitude Of thy misdomcanor;
mind not tho meretricious machinations Of ma.
levolent ministers, but merit the need OF =
perciful mission. who, viii
iom, was wrought upon ny the wheedlc words
Of the willy one, since when the world weeps
Ger its wickcdnes. Wanting woman, tho
world waste. and we, vending our weary
way through ih wilderness, would waft our
wailings 70 the winds and waves. Woman,
without thy winsome ways. wealth were WORTH
less-a will O. the wisp. . The witohcry Of thy
wooine words works wonders, like the wavipgs
Of The wirsards wand witness thy wearines
watching DER the wounded and the wretsbed,
withstanding our wsywsrdncss through veal
and ,woe. Wanton wadlers on the wane,
writhing under wrinkles, may wage the wsr.
fare, but tho wise welcome and woship thee.
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-12-29

A NEW STATE LIKKLY.--Ncw Guinea--alias
Ccntcryille-located midway between Camden
and Gloucester, over in Jersey, went into CON.
mittco Of the Whole, one evening last week,
and among other resolutions, the following
wcro unanimously adopted: io I
"Solysd--FIa. Dat We abstain Prcsemp
in ebcry ting hos gwino ter do.
Solved-Tcoh. Dat We dopt State Con.
and ply fur mission inter dis Yune-
yum, wid tetlum oh Contrabands. yri rI
Solyod--Fird. Dat we wate.whcr or no."
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-12-29

~ The following story is told Of Professor
Wilson: A young man who had gained the
affections Of his daug ghier, waited upon 'papa," ("
and stated his case, Of which the Professor had
q previous inkling. The young gentleman was
directed to desire tho lady to come TO her ia
ther, and, doubtless, her obedience was prompt.
Professor Wilson had beiore him, 10 review.
some work, on ibe ay.leaf OF which was duly
Inscribed. with the authors compliments. |"
He tore this ont, pinned II TO his daughter 8
dress, solemnly led her to the young lover, and
went back to bis work. 'fri i.' 1 90 tfl
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-12-29

Aprecentor in ono Of tho kinks Of Scotland,
by mistake commenced to sing adifsrent psalm
from that given by tho minister, tho result bo-
ing that by the time the end Of tho second line
was reached, matters came to Q dead lock be
tween him and tho congregation. Instead of
fainting, rs he might have been expected 70 do.
the prccentor kept quite cool, preserving bis
presence OF mind in the trying circumstances.
and, ms the simplest way Of getting out'ofi the
difficulty, no turned round to the minister, and
made the appropriate, remark, "Go on with
your sermon the things stickit!".
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-12-29

Coon CoxPANY.--Sir George Saville was re-
markably fond Of sailing. and, pursuing his fa.
vorte amusement on tho Humber, with On old
fisherman, the vessel admitted great quantity
Of water. At last Sir George turned to the old
man, and, with great composurc, asked him
how much more water the boat would hold be.
fore she would siak. "Iialf bucket.full, and
please you, Sir George" On which the sails
were furled, and they came safe on shore. The
old man boing asked why he did not sooner ap.
prise Sir George of his danger. replied, "Why,
marry. I'sc an auld man, and thought could
not die IN better company.
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-12-29
MISCELLANEOUS.

~ Doctor N, Of North Carolina. rep
resented his district in Congress some twenty
years ago. lie was in the habit every session
OBLIGATION OF his constituents. lie usually en-
ployed some one to put them "in shape" before
sendinc the manuscripts to the printer. II the
Doctor ever had been on speaking terms with
either Webster or Murray, Il was pretty evident
no had "cut their acquaintance" long since.
On one occasion he took his speech to the print
or in his "own handrite," NJ he expressed Il.
adding that he was powerful pore writer,
but asiden from the handrite he reckoued they d
find it all correct" The foreman glanced at
1t, pronounced the writing plain enough (as Il
was). and gave the whole Of the copy TO one Of
the composi,or. The first paragraph contained
q large number Of agricultural curios,tics-such
as "hey. .""otes, ""taters. ''"becns, ""whect," :"
"korn," etc., etc-which served to amusc
without perplexing him. lie could correct the
orthography: but what license should he take
with the GRAMMAR That point he submitted
to the foreman, who told him to .give II free
translation into English - lie did so-rctain-
ing tho leading ideas, but 50 modifying the
construction Of the whole speech that the
proof reader found it impossible to read 10 BY
copy. After he had given ID silent reading.
Comparing it with the original TO sce "that the
true intent and meaning thereof bad been To
tained, he inquired for "ths man who Get Up
DR. N-Sspeech,"' remarking: Whoever
did Il has made quite respectable speech out
Of very poor material and don 9 believe the
Doctor viii recognize It - his own" The
Doctor called in 10 read tho proof, and Alter DO
bad perused the speech carefully, be exclaimed,
"well, ! do declare II Is astonishing to mo how
you printers can do thess things without max
ing mis,akesf Idoo't find single one in the
whole OF this yer speech. hs Jest araefly as
rH u. irord for ,rord" -.'t. -.-.-r |
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-12-29

CosrLY BABY,s-DaEss--ffAete 10 too much
foolish and rcprehensiblo love Of show In this
country, but We have not yet, perhaps, reached
the vanity and extrsvagsnce OF private lie In
Paris. A late letter from that city siAtes that
O baptismal dress OF an infant has been pre-
pared, OF exquisite embroidery and lace, at an
expense Of eighteen thousand dollars! The es'
tablishment in which IL was made has been
thropged with lady visitors to see the rich aud
costly dress in which the little creature 10 to re-
nounce the pomps and vanities Of the world.
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-12-29
NUMBER l..
SPARE LINES.

If your reishbor's offence is rank. don't let
YOURS be rancour. f' f.r .I,
The man who makes business Of raising
pork for market may be said to live by his pen.
We like 4 black eyo. We like bluo ono.
We don't like the black and blue ono. 10
However active goosos wings may be In
lie, they become stationery afterwards.
Stingiuess 10 mean trap, set with mean
|bait. by mean devil, to catch mean man.
Punch . caution to tho ladies-a silk dres
should never be at-in.. Ir ..r,H. an
A tea mover Indulged in BY gosips:-Chari.
|g! ff -sfr '.rr- I Ooh .g- .r,.f
The sugar weddlns-thirty days alter mar
|riage-is the newest thing. .isl s..irSf
Why Is the letter liks your nosei Because
it goes before you (u). lr rfr.
Among the funds 10 tho hands Of the oorpo-
ration Of London is sum Of two hundred
pounds year left in trust "to burn heretics."
What Is the difference between an octoroou
md hardware dealer? The ono has waivy
hair, the other has heavy ware.
The flower Of youth never appears moro
beautiful than when Il bends towards the sun
|of Righteousness.
Coleman, the dramatist. was asked II he knew
Theodore Hook. "Yes," replied the dramatist,
(" Hook and eye are old associates" ~ b., sr
! The greatest organ In tho wor'd-the organ
pf speech In woman; an organ, too, without
stop. . ra,r -r. rt- 90 'f.1.
When tho good man dies, the tears that in
ifo no kept irom flowing are freely shed for
him. .....,.... t.. i...I .i
Josh Billings says that "if man professcs
10 serve the Lord he likes to sec him do It when
he measures onions as we'll as when no hollcs
glory hallerluyer."
Lucy Stone says: "Thc cradle is woman's
ballot box" Then wo have known some un.
lawful voting where two ballots wero deposit
ID ata time. al, ur. ID
"My German friend, how long have you
been married 7" "Vel, dis Ia ting vot / seldom
3on't like TO talk apout, but ven does, 1t
|eems 90 long as Il never vas."
A clerk In a music store was lately overpow.
red by fastidious young lady who wanted TO
purchase I" Mr.. Thomas Hoods-eong OF tue
-a-gentleman's under garment" The clerk
still alive. .-.,
"Are these pure canaries 7" asked gentle
han Of bird dealer with whom he was nego.
ating for = "giit for his fair" "Yess, sir"
hid the dealer con6deutially. "l raised them
BIO birds from canary seed"
The best description Of weakness We have
ave ever heard 10 the wsg's query to his vile,
Ehen shs gave him some chicken broth, she
vould not try to coax that chicken to wade
through the soup once more.
A wag in Appleton, Wis.,, supplied Q farm,
pr with Tour quarts Of Hungarian grass seed
ast spring, from which the farmer raised last
summer about seventeen millions OF comely
| ,siien stalks. ga Dove ..EH"
f.e New York Saturday Press declares that
tho on car people, instead Of taking measures
70 rid h..ir oopveyances Of 1eas and other ver-
nn, are about to issue paper In their deienSe
| aidcr tho title Of "The Battlo-cry Of Fleadou.
/ "A tall fellow persisted In standing during q
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-12-29
MAKE HASTE TO LIVE.

Make haste, % man, to do
Whatever must he done
Thou hast no time to lcse In slcth,
Thy day win sou be gcnc.
Up! then, with spell, and work
Fling ease apl self away,
This Is no time fcr thee to sleep--
Up, watch, and work, AMI pray!
TIE usehii, not the great,
The thing that never dies,
The sllent toll that IL not lost
st these befOrc thine eyes.
The seci, whose leaf AMI flower,
Though ponr In human sight,
Brings frth at Last the eternal fruit,
SOW thou by day and night
Make haste, o man, to live,
Thy time Il almost o'eri
o, slecp net, dream not, hut arise,
The Judge is at the dcr.
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-12-29

An English periodical contains the following
statement Of brief and plain formsls, By
which eli Enot.y questions, especially tboss cl
parent a. tbs generality Of stons walls :-"By
ausdruply di6srentiatine the ssversl intsrooi.
ounations scaulting from tho latent ooubos-
tion OF an in6nitesimsl and supsrogatory vicb
sitode, Chrononhontonth thologos can b sympa
thetically iuoOdlased with that perpendiculsr
which b directly receivable Into
the semidiane.sical inpondsrab'lity Of Abnea-
dabra.' ..,,.... 80, w. s.n,, (, .,ies q.
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-12-29
a. A Roland and Oliver conflict once tot

~ A Roland and Oliver conflict once took
place between two Scotch managers, whose g.
tablishmcnts uere both in tho samo building
one having theatre on the 6rst door, and bis
competitor = theatre In the basement. Tho
basement manager got mp tho Battle OF Water
loo n 4 spectacle, with plenty Of gunpowder,
and very nearly blew up whilst Do oil bes en-
tircly sufocated the audience overhead. Moth
ipg dauused, The manager on The Arst door pro
duced the Battle Of Trafalgar, With. real water.
with Wow. a. he candidly confessed, "of
drowning tho anld dssvil underneath"
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-12-29
THE NEW CONGRESS.

The FIRST session Of the Thirty-Ninth Con
gress commences this day. The Senate is al.
ready organized, but the organization Of the
House is to be effected, it Is understood, by the
exclusion OF all members from the States lately
in insurrection, including Tennessee.
The Senate stands, without the South:
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-12-29

U Bootblack boy to- returned soldier
"Black your boots, sirf make 'em nine
Looking ut HE .'gunboss" 10 con'emb'au's Az
way, the war.worn veteran repl'cd' "We!, !
don't caro- Il you do-fillin promptly, though.
The urchin gassd moment at the soldier. and
then, turning 70 oomrsos near by, shouted
ous. al ny, Bili, lend us hsud, won't yer
pvegpt IN army cootrsct." - l-,', ole.. !.
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-12-29
Y The following Is published in ihe Lon
don Atheneum as the veritabls epitaph over
the grave Of parish officer at Cnyford. in
"Here lieth the body Of
Peter Isnell,

go years clerk Of this Parish.)
He lived respected a, pious and mirthful
man. and died on his way to Church to nssist
alta Wedding, on the 3lst day Of March. 1911;
aged 10 years. a. n.' %
The inhabitants Of Crayford havo raised this
stone to his cheerful memory and as tribute
to his long and faithful services. r'a .Tu
The life Of this Clerk was just threescore ani ten
Nearly half Of which time he had sung out .fmsn;
In his Youth he was married like other young
Tu. his wife died one day, so he chsnted .Amsn.
A second he took. she departed, what then
lie married and buried a third with amen.
Thu, his Joys and hi, sorrows were Trebied, but
then T,....
Ills voice was deep Bass rs he sung out fmen.
On the horn he could blow rs we'll as most men,
So his horn was exalted In blowing .fmsnj
But he lost all his JVinf alter thrcescorc and ten
And here with his three Wives he waits till again
The Trumpet shall rouse him 70 sing out Amen"
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-12-29

A confirmed bachelor uses the following ar.
gument against mstrimony Calico is great
promoter Of lasines. II young men wish 70 10.
complain anything OF moment, either with head
or hand, they must keep clear. Of the 'nsti.u.
ton entirely. A pair Of sweet lips. pink
waist, swelling chest, . pressure OF two DELI
este hands, will do - much 70 unhings . man
a. three fsven, the messels, . large sized
whooplng. cough, pair Of locked jaws, several
hydrcphobias, and the doctor's bill.
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-12-29

lTAs only domestic branch OF msnufAoturs which
has not shown capacity 10 supply the Army h that
OF BLANKETS. table of the lowest and highest
prices pai1 COR clothing end equipags shows that
many important articles had more than doubled
The condition Of the property In store u referred
20, sud rrsonmendatioss are made 10 dspoat Il
In ArS proof bulldinga
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-12-29
"Nature requires Ave,
Custom gives seven,
Lazincss takes nine,
And wickeiness eleven.n
We heard in childhood and were sent to bet
with il, and called up with IT.

We heard in childhood and were sent to bed
with it, and called up with II:
"Euiy to bed and early TO rise,
Is the way 10 be healthy, wealthy and Wis.,"
and il would be hard TO find homcly oouplet
that has done more to make smart men out oil
smart boys.
DR.. Young speaks Of
"T,rcd natures sweet restorer, balmy seep!"
and IL Is tho same idea that Shakespeare had in
line that has been the subject OF much com.
mentary with no little difference OF opinion:
"seep, ,ha, knits up the raveIed sleeve Of care"
in which the meaning is obvious to every woman
who has rayeled o sleeve or stocking and knit
ted il up again. Sleep does this every night
for him who gets Il. They who need II most
get it least. As Young says, sleep
aswif ou his dowpy pinon nies from Voc,
And lights On lds uusuled with = tear"
It is very easy to deal with tho poetry Of sleep,
but the philosophy 10 harder far. Indeed we
know very little about it. II you are asked
"what Is sleep?" you open the dictionary,
oven the last edition OF Webster, and read,
"a natural and healthy, but temporary and
periodical suspension Of tho functions Of the
organs of sense, as we'll as those OF the volun-
tary and rational soul, definition that Ia
about rs good rs no definition ut oil, but, per
haps, AZ good rs any dictionary will afford.
II you are asked "where does sleep begin, In
the head or the feet 2" you may be equally at
loss for an answer, but II you will study the
subject while sleep Is coming on you will OBJ
serve that It creeps over the nervous system
gradually, and not at once /; though with some
il is much more rapid in its progress than with
Others Happy are they who can 20 to sleep
an soon as their head, touch the pillow. Many
are Obliged to make business OF IL. They
count thousands. They say the Lords Prayer
backwards. They repeat oil the hymns they
know. They note their own breathing, and
when they are able to forget everything else
but that, they are gone. Dr.. Hall was in the
habit Of mentally throwing u chip into stream
and following Il down miles and miles, till he
himself foated out into the sea ot forgetiulness.
Others can sleep in the midst Of noise and con.
fusion. Soldiers will take their turns In sleep
ing by great guns that are fired over their
heads. Workmen will sleep In boiler while
Others are hammering the rivets. Cervantcs in
his Don Quixote makes Sancho PapIa say,
.Whilc am asleep, have neither fear nor
hope, neither trouble nor glory, and blcssing'
on him who invented sleep. Y. Observer.
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-12-29
rrAu e.chsnre gets of the following :

..What would bs Tho difference between iOld
Urcle Ned and Msximilian, In tho event Of .
scrimmage between the latter and Uncle Sam7
The hrst had no hair on the top Of bis crown.
10 The place whcre the hair ought 10 grow; and
the other would have no crown on the top OF
HE hair. on the place where the crown ought
10 Co." Aais,- :. o., f.,;,...n, 4isii f,'l Il
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-12-29

"If every State lately in rebellion Isays the
Trbunel were to have Senators present at the
hour Of opening the session, (as several OF them
will not), and IL each were to claim and bold
his scat, there would still be Unionst major.
ity. So no more need be said Of the Senate"
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-12-29

A grand scheme Of q lottery Cor the isal-
vation Of souls has just been got up in Mexico.
The price OF a ticket y two and a-half penoe-
half . rcal-and the fortunate winner Of prises
becomes the possesor Of nasses which will ex.
pediase bic own soal 70 hsavsn, OF that Of any
other man. .r' Fs. 1al ,s-l. ~. Z.
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-12-29

The Rocky Mountain News tells Of sn snthu-
siassie young Missourisn who. eulogising the
beauty Of his s'gal," aid. "Ill DO dcS.gcnsd
II shs Amt q pooty = . red wsgon." - =. 3,
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-12-29

Ara printers festival on Frsntlins birth.
dsy the following was the Gnh regular toast -.
aThs editor and The lauysr-the dsvil b sAtis-
aed With che eopy Of cha fornsr, bat fpqsiss
shs ofisipA o. so' sAi 's1i syid; ,sflssi 20 smtl
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-12-29
REHABILITATION.

Toai-sC Cnioni'ss-it.' t.''''...''''.ps SA'-t1 10
The Sta,es whose DEMONSTRATION has not yet
been reco ognIsed and ratified by Congress. are en-,
titled, when fully reorgsnised and recognised. TO
ssnd Rsnrrsentatixes @ fblloMa, nl ~ D. -a---L
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-12-29

The political views Of many Of tho above Sena.
tors and Representatives of the secedcd States are
not sufficiently known 10 classify them with any
degree Of certainty. Tho Senators OF Louisiana
were elected rs Union men. but We believe their
sympathies are now with the Democratic party.
The senators Of Arkansas we're elected a. Union
men, but We do not know whether they still sd-
here 70 the party. L-L. -.-I -.. l.. ~ u
The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-12-29

what the difference between toad and q
scsdyl One iors iit,le bugs and the Other