Dayton daily empire. [volume] (Dayton [Ohio]) 1850-1865, 1865-09-22
SaiIg .GlmllppiijrI:t, GIMP III:
"BrIck' Pomeroy ON Mosquitoes.

| homVSthJ gives tue lOlOHlnB hb MS expert
ment in getting mosquitoes intoxicated Josh
Billings" can't beat it
MOSQUITOES ON BENDER. tE
Night before last, in order to sleep, we
placed piece of raw beefsteak on plate at
the head Of our bed In the morning it was
oy the mosquitoes sucked as dry of blood as an
old sponge, and our skin saved at least two
thousand perforations All about the room
in the morning we're mosquitoes, ,plethoric with
blood, loaded till they could uot hy We kill
ed few, but the job was TOO sauguinary, so
we left them to their feast
Last night, in order to get even with the
serenadiDg devils, we stepped half apound of
fresh beeiseak ln some old rye whisky aud
lett it on plate near the bed. Nothing like
being hospitality inclined. In ten minutes
after the light was extinguished a swarm OF
these back biting bill-posters msde an ad-
vanc movement One Of them caressed Aus
sweetly on the nose-he sent iV his bll-there
WAS a slap--a diluted oamn--a dead mosa vi
10 Soon we heard tremendous buzzlng
about the whisky soaked beet The entire
mosquito family came singing 10, aud such
operu-good Lord deliver US But they did
not disturb us with bites-we fell asleep 10 be
awakened in ten inmates BY the worst moss
quito concert ever editor, mortal, devil, angel
diVne, Dutchman or any other man listened
TO- We raised light, tsnd the greatest show
OF the season WAS tnere to be seen. Every
mosquito was drunk as blind fiddler, and
such AN uproarious night as the long bill
Welps had, never was seen before ih,s side ol
-Setdh The worst nDtics Some were
playing circus on the plate One big fellow,
with belly like FaIlslaf full of blood and
whisky, was dancing juba on the Bible, while
u fat friend OF his tribe lay on hertback beating
the deviis dream on an invisible tamborlue
with one hind leg Two more were wrestling
on the foot board of the bed, each with his
bill stuck fact in the timber Another wss
tying the legs OF our pants into u bow Knot TO
tie about the neck OF Anna Dickinson, which
hangs against the wash stand, while another
red stomached customer was trying to stand
on his head in the wash bowl .'l.E 60 .iiid
All over The room were druken mosquitoes
One long bill, gaunt representative was trying
o ram the muciage bottle iull Of newspapst
clippings Another chap Was drilling hole
through revolver handle and sing ng "My
Mary Anu, while another was limping across
the window ELL in search OF fresh air, 10 the
ngonizing tune of-trampAttamp-- tramp
One little ram Of a skeet was trying to Jam
he cock out of Ben. Buffers eye with a tooth
trush, as bis picture hung beside that of Kidd
he pirate and lew other thieves Another
drunken statesman Of the mosquito family
reminding US Of Zach Chandler, was talking
Russian 10 a lot of drunken companions US
they lay in heap on plate,:whlle another
one sat on the handle OF our bowie knife,
doubled up with cramp in the stomach, and
trying to unite his tail with his bill, which
seemed like LineOlns back bone when Anna
Dickinson said 1t wanted siifening he was
sick looking skeeter, and died in three min
utes alter we saw him, her or il, as the case
may be, Two others took a bath in the ink
stand Another one with bill like the devils
narrative was trying TO wind our watch with
pen wiper, while another had just died hs he
was sitting on the rim OF dish in The room
trying to chant-"Mother, I've come home to
die |" Poor skeeter, I... a...sF
t1 A nice skeeter, but ''wasa pity he drank
An old veteran with u psunch iuil of ull and
alf--blood and 5whisky--sat ON the table
reading Les Miserables, while his wife was
under the stove trying to mend her broken
wing with u limpsey tooth pick She looked
disgusted Another one combed his hair with
9 paper Of pins, tied apiece Of white paper
about his neck, pasted a Ave cent Internal
revenue stamp on his rump, and died like
loyal citizen, His last words were--s d., b,
Tell the traitors all sroand yop,H ETC., etc. d
Another drunken scamp has jnst started
out OF the window for John b. Cough or
stomach pump worse behaved set OF Dum
mers we never saw. They have acted fearful
Abqub two lhopaaed liz. aboutidead, but sad
ness seemed not to break in upon their hill
al ious rioting upon blood and whisky Hall
a dozen OF them set on our new hat playing
draw poker, using worm lozenges for checks,
whlle one of the party got clean busted by
making Rflty (dsllar bind good on a four
flush, which didn't fill He will be Lpt 10 wear
cotton socks next winter and keep away from
church collection days Another one sat on
top OF brandy bottle, readjug Baxter's Call
TO the Unconverted. while hls partner lies
dead at his feet. evidently forced TO close
doors by the failure OF Ksichum Son, Of
New York Six others were trying TO hang
one that looks like Copperhead 10 the COR
ner OF a match sale, but as they were drunk
aud he sober it's not safe TO BET on his being
dangled. They have eaten the beei-drank
The blood and whisky-drilled the plate full
'Oi holss--snd on the eentre.tRble orgRpized a
Son OF Msha lodge, 'uhDs a FIVE cent shin
p1S,Io plaster for HlsPtet in tesrat ss'slpd 1.-THE
Alol1et redbellied leader Of lbe Miss Kss;
ter family had battalion OF drunken bummers
on the ecge OF spittooh watching him jam
tur overcoat into his left ear He was foolish
foolish enough for a BrRader General or
member OF Congress. A little cuss with
black legs, crimson stomach and double join
ted bill, was vomiting in a satin slipper, while
his vile, q sickly looking lAdV OF her tribe