The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1865-03-16
A Terrible Duel.

| A few years since, as New England
gentleman, whose name we shall call
! Brown, was passing few days in one
of our Western cities, he had the mis-
| fortune unintentionally to offend the
susceptible honor of tall military colo
mel, who was one of his fellow boarders.
His apologies not being satisfactory, a
challenge was sent to him, which, how
| ever, he declined, from conscientious
| scruples.
| The colonel, who, by the way, had won
| in two or three encounters quite a repu-
tation as duellist, at once conceived the
idea that his opponent was coward and
| resolved to disgrace him in the face of
| all the assembled wisdom of the house.
/ Accordingly, the next day, at dinner
time, in marched the duellist armed with
a COW hide, and advancing to Brown s
chair, proceeded to dust his jacket for
him in the most approved style. Brown
was astonished. Luckily, he had been a
| lieutenant in MALTA in his native State,
and he knew the Importance of incom-
moding his enemy by dirersion. So
seizing gravy tureen, he tossed the
contents ihto the face of the belligerent
colonel and before he could recover from
the drowning sensation thus occasioned,
he sprang upon the table. and began to
shower upon him with liberal hand the
contents of the dishes around.
You are an infernal-
Coward the colonel was about to
say, but at that moment plate of greens
struck full upon his mouth, and the word
was blockaded and lost forever.
.Har' cried the New Englander, whose
blood was now up, '.fond of greens, are
you? Take potatoe, too, and he hurled
a telling volly Of potatoes at him. "Ex
cellent eggs here. capital calfs head, =
and crash came a plate of soft boiled
eggs against the side of his Uranium.
The blows of the COW hide which had
hitherto descended upon the Yankees
head and shoulders. now began to fall
more weakly and wildly, and it become
evident that the assailant, half stunned,
choaked and blinded, was getting the
worst of it. His courage was oozing
out.
Take a turkey?' shouted Brown, as a
noble old gobbler descended fairly upon
the Colonel's head. and bursting, filed
his hair and eyes with delicious looking
stuffing. Heres the fxings," be con
tinued, as the squash and jelly followed
after.
By this time the Colonel was irretriev-
dUly QeIesteu, anu, AS us OppoHeut SeIL
ed huge plumb-pudding .teaming hot,
and holding it above his head with both
hands, seemed to bury him beneath it,
he quailed in terror, and throwing down
his COW hide, turned about and made a
rush for the door
''Stop for pudding, colonel. stop for
the pudding" screamed all the fellow
boarders. amid convulsions of laughter
But the colonel was too terrified, and did
not cease running until he had locked
himself into his room
But although the colonel escaped from
the pudding, he did not escape from the
ridicule which the affair occasioned- He
subsequently, challenged four persons,
against whom his ire was particularly ex
cited, and they all consented to fight, but
availing themselves the prtrelege of the
challenged party, appointed pudding
bags for their weapons At length the
unhappy duelist. finding no one willing
shot or be shot, was obliged to quit
he State.