Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-05-11
The Collapse Of CrinOIine.

An unprinciplcd French wit once defined
woman ian irrational creature, much re-
scmbling man, which has the faculty Of dis
guising itself so as to look sometimes like a
bell and sometimes like an UMBRELLA" We
need not pause to rcprobatc so abominable
a proposition, which could only have crnanat-
cd from one of nation which atoncs for its
systematic contempt of the seventh com
1nandmcnt, by an excessive Scntimcntality
in respect to the maternal relation. The
more intensely Frenchman despiscs his
ncighbor's wife, the more tearfully he al
ways dwells upon the virtues of his own
mother.
But, what the eye secs, the tongue may as
well confess; and one is forced to own that
the female costume of the last century has,
in truth, pretty steadily atcrnatcd between
the pattern of the umbrella and the pattern
Of the bell.
The bells have it now, and for nearly ten
years past have had it all their own way :;
but ifthcre be faith in the oraclcs of fashion,
the day of the umbrella is already dawning
again. The story that the Empress Eu.
genie, in pleasant conjugal emulation of
her illustrious consOrt, is about to favor the
world with a life of Marie Antoinottc, is dis
sipated solemnly by the M2niteur. And all
the signs from the bouaoir of the Tuileries
point to a much more congcnial project as
occupying the imperial mind. Instead of
| glorifying with her golden pen the lovely
sovereign of France whose hoops like her
own,
| "cxtcnding wide,
| Showed what beauty mere should hide"
the spouse of the third Napoleon is bent it
seems, upon revivng the classic and clinging
drapcrics which drew such admiring crowds
| to the saloons of Madame Tallicn and the
! Niscountcss Beauharnais, during the twilight
between the fall of the Bourbons and the
rise ofthe Bonapartcs. Yet a little while,
and beauty, which now draws US, not with a
''singlc hair" but with whole network Of
crinolnc, will fascinate us in the guise of
Cleopatra Needle.
The change may seem matter OF slight
moment, and the theme to fall beneath the
dignity ofiournalsm to handle. But with
out extending our survey of its probable
consequences into the regions of political
economy, without considering the effects of
the sudden collapse Of at least seventy-Gve
millions of fully-developcd female skirts
throughout the world upon the trade and
industry of the great skirt and dress pro-
ducing countries the social and aesthetic
effects of such a revolution are beneath no
mans attention.
Sudden it will be- for the telegraph and
the steam-engine have intensified the force
and sweep of fashion as they have fall other
human influences and movements. Twenty
years ago particular sleeve, or bonnet, or
corsagc, passed out Of civilization by slow
and gradual process. Following the sun in
his course, the shoulder-of-mutton sleeve,
b or the "coal-scuttle bonnet" fingered in q
s,l ,.,Iip,r ,rlor.- tbn In,rb+ .,
West, long after it had been forgotten with
the fardingales of Elizabeth in the capital.
of Europe. But now the sun will hardly gC
down upon population of lovely bells il
New York twcnty-four hours after he ha,
risen upon a Boulevard of irresistible UNI
brcllas in Paris. The shock which thi.
pcrcmptory transformation of the whole fe
. male world must necessarily administer to
the masculine eye and mind, it is well for Us
to anticipate and be prepared for. Even
the serene temper of Mr.. Pickwick gave way
when his faithful friend Tupman, with whom
he habitually took sweet counsel in blue
! body-coat and CATERS of decent drab sud,
denly famed out upon him in silk tights
and a velvet jacket with two inch tail
i Which ofus can answer for himself in the
prospect of going to bed in world ofcrino-
line, to wake again in world Of needle
cases?
Whether the abolition of crinolne is OF
to discuss. Much may be said for it-fol
the reicfit gives the wcarers from the super
incumbent weight of Ewes fatal legacy to
her daughters; for the majesty with which
it invests danes Of the most trivial proper.
i tions, and the positive awe with which it
surrounds allstatelier shapes !; for the gimp,
seS that sometimes leave US less fOrlorn, OF
trim ankles, and of silver-twinkling feet
which we owe to it. Much may be said
against it also; against the hideous ele-
phantiaSiS oftradcsmcn bills which has fol,
lowed its introduction, driving bachelors
into monaStic vows and husbands into suicide
or the clubs; against its perils by fire to the
wearer and its efficacy as a means of torture
for her neighbors at the dinner table or il
wheeled vehicles. But argument on such Q
subject is useless. SIN brief, as Petruchic
E says in the play, 'the gown is not for us, y
but for women; and with woman in a ques
ton of fashion, whatever is, is best. What
ever fashion bids be adored, is adorable
whatever fashion burns, must to the stak,
forthwith. Toth mysterious goddess beauty
: bows as Kate to her wayward lord:
"rhen God he blessed, it is the blessed sun,
Y But sun it is not, when you say it is not;
I And the moon changes, even as your mind
: What you will have il be, even that il is,
And SO it shall be still, for Katharine"
Nay, to be frank, all that the male min,
D will concern itself withal is but the frs
strangeness of new device. Swift acquies
cence SIS the badge of all our tribe in thes
matters, andin our hearts we have no loyalt.
to principles of aesthetics, be they never st
!, clear
When Francis, Prince Royal of Naples
went to ask permission of his wicked ole
father Ferdinand, to change the uniform o
the Neapolitan army from the British scarle
to the Austrian white, that experienced po
tentate heard him through, with cynca
e, eariHo T dress them IN White dress the them il il
red, they will always run away !"
Bells or umbrellas, umbrellas or bells, i
is all one let women go sailing on like ''th,
embarked traders on the food, " with pres
of ample canvas; or fit by us scrimp a
! shotten herring, men, we do gravely mis-
lo,,l. ,r,l I'LL ttar thn,,,I