Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1865-08-12
THE SCRAP-BOOK.

Connecticut maidens do their court
ing up slick. A nice young girl near
Hartford was spilled to by tuo-months
widower to come and take charge of his
six motherless children. She said: Eyes
sir, as your wife; not otherwise" She
went. Is
- Specimens of western oratorv are
rather stale, but here IS bit, related by
trustworthy authority as authentic,
which has not been in print before.
" Where is Europe, compared with
Americas Nowhar! Where is Eng
land? Nowhar! They cali England the
mistress of the sea; but what makes the
sea! The Mississippi river makes it,.
Aud all we've got to do is TO tura The
Mississippi into the Mammoth cave, and
the English navy will be foundsring in
the mud"
-" Ah," said old Mrs. Rosenbury,
alarming is a great thing; I've often felt
the need of it. Why, would you believe
it, sm now sixty years old, and only
know the names of three months in the
year, and them's Spring. Fall and Au-
tumn. i larnt the names of them when
/ Was little bit of gall"
- A Boston man lately got fine set
of taeth inserted for nothing. He kick
ed deg!
- The CIoak of Religion is to he
known sometimes by the fine nep it has
during sermon time.
- Sir Walter Scott tells story Of
Scotch minister who, on an lev winter
Sabbath, threatened bis congregation
with everlasting torlnents in thick ribbed
ice. Being taxed with the herctical ten
dcncy of such version, The crafty Scot
replied, 81 do not try to scare sinners
this cauld weather by making them think
about hot fire."
AT debating society wheelwright
was said to be the best spokesman.
= An itinerant preacher, who rambl
ed in his sermons, when requested to
stick to his text, replied ''that scattering
shot would hit the most birds.
- An unsophisticated couutryman,
the other day, coming TO Washington,
saw military officer, followed at a
respectful distance by two orderlies. in
full gaIlop. ''Good gracious" said be,
haven't they caught him yet? l was
in about three weeks ago, and they was
runnniu' after him then"
"A Yankee sells liquor IN gun bar
rel inslsad of glass, to evade the law
and make it appear beyond dispute that
be is SLING by the barrel.
"A solemn New York religious jour
nal actually INDUCES in pun over the
Harris case, and says "mer must look
out how they break their promises of
marriage or they will be 'harrised' to
DEATH" Well observed grave Observer.
What to do with the National debt
LssYe it Loan.--Ms. Grun6y.
- Nov. children. asked a school
inspector, 'who loves all men," A little
gill, four years cid, and evidently not
posted in the catechism, answered quick
IL, '.All woman"
Women are said to have stronger
attachments than men. 1t is not So
Strength of attachments are evinced in
little things. 4 mau is often attached
to an old hat, but did you ever know of
a woman having an attachment for an
old bonnet?
A GUARDED ANswER.-In one OF our
courts lately, a man who was called upon
to appear as witness, could not be
found. On the judge asking whore he
was an elderly gentleman rose up. and
with much emphasis said, .'Your honor,
he's gone" "Gone! gomez said the
Judge. "where is he gone!" "That ]
cannot inform you," replied the commu
NEGATIVE gentleman, "but he's dead )"
This is considered the best guarded an
swer on record.
- The man who courts young lady
in the starlight probably expects to get
wife in a twinkling.
"My wife," said critic, "is the
most even tempered person 10 the world
she's always mad"
The burning of Barnum's Museum
brought the poor whale SO such grief that
he blubbered.-Er.