davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1865-07-28
From the Cleveland Herald.
A Curious Young Lady.

About two months ago q young girl
of pleasing looks and address came here
! from New York City. At first she did
duty as hotel waiter, and afterwards,
! through some means or other, GOT Sit
uation at a Varieties, where she presid-
ed over cigar stand, There her good
looks and winning ways obtained her
numerous customers, and she drove Il
| brisk business, in many cases her fas-
! cinated patrons refused to take any
change, and thus "Niss Addie n--for
THAT was her namo-throye apace in her
own right, and managed 10 pick up any
amount of PIN money. Adde'S admir-.
ers, from the first, were numerous: but
eventually they began t0 heaiogo her in
| drovcs, SO that often the cigar stand
! would draw better than the stage itself,
She was an accomplished eaoquette, and
thus had q smile for each and every one
of the crazy crew AZ her feet. Her smiles
wereby no means confined to the young,
| for gray hairs were found worshiping
ct her shrine as often as the fair locks
of youth.
! Among those who wooed her wore
! old bachelors and Young America, and
men o. family, and widowera, and BRAIN
less tops, and boys whose chiua had not
even made the acquaintance of down.
treated were by no means confined to
the wordy class. No, indeed; substan-
tials in abundance feI! to her lot. Old
Mr.. S0-and-so gave her new dress and
old bach " SO-and-so presented her
with several pairs OF pocket-handl<er-
chiefs, and Fast So-and-so sent her two
pairs OF silk callers and several pairs of
! Alexand?r's best, while Master -o-and-
SO gave her an order for new bonnet.
Then, too, scarcely day passed that
she was not taken out TO ride behind q
| pair of fast nags, with all the usual ac-
cessol1ea of ice cream, strawberries and
cream, Roman punch, etc.
Thus things went on-frOm the time
Of her appearance at the Varietcs-in
this roseate way, until n few days ago,
when the astounding discovery was
made that the miss Adde" was man!
OF course the manager and her crowd
OF admirers were both astonished and
inclined to doubt their senses; but in
spite Of all, il turned out that she was
not q woman, bRt that he was man.
The young man stated TINT for four
teen years he had worn the garb of q
woman, in which guise his fair and
pleasing looks had materially assisted
him. In fact he looks az much like
woman when in male attire, as when
dressed in bonnet and gown. In New
York he played the part OF "prstty
waiter girl " at a Broadway Varieties,
remaining there till waiter girls were
"crushed," when he came hither.
Since the discovery of his ruse he has
gone upon the stage, and appears each
evening at the Varieties in ''paIt frs" F."
Truth is stranger than felton,"
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1865-07-28

Two fere-ShOes.

Col. F., n very Irritable md in,pa-
t'cnt man, had occasion opce, while
passing on horseback through a small
town in the West, to patronize Dutch
blacksmith
4" Are You the smith?' he asked OF n
stout, black bearded, smoking, dirty old
man, who came out of the shop to look
Mt the horses defective shoes.
Yes, be der smidt, y replied Msjn-
heer, steadying his long pipe with his
left hand, while he lifted one of tho
horses feet with his right " You wish
to have dc now shoes?"
" No, sir, said the Colonel, in his
quick way, "set the shoes Of his fore
feet, that's ali." ta. ~.
=" Set dc shoes on his fore fcet-yah, I
oonderstan. 1 viii have him in Won
hour shoed." -
The Colonel went away, and return
ing at the appointed time, found the
Dutch smith still ut work on his horse.
He was very wroth when he saw the
state OF affairs, but he went away again
with the promise that in "von half
hour" longer the shoes would be set.
After dinner, in no very mild humor,
he made his appearance again at the
shop, and asked what was 10 pny.
-Four shillinrs,r was the re,iIv
Four shilliugal" it'snn impoaitlon,"
exclaimed the fiery colonel. 81 never
paid over q shilling for setting shoe In
my life.n
shilling for de Won shoe--I set da four
shOes--dat ish four shillinvs--nichts? ?'r
Mich, the old Nick I" roared the cx-
cited traveller. "Who told you to act
moro than two shoesp'
- BY doonder!' aaid the smith, "you
tell me yourself"
81 it's falsehood," answered Tho
traveller, =" it's lie--a--'
" Mine Got! You say not do shoes on
de four feet"
$50 did," said the traveller, "thc
two shoes on the fore feet.''
Got in Himmei! two shoes on der
tour iectr Won hat on dre9 heads az
mootch I"
You eternal f-fOoln' exclaimed tho
colonel, who suffered when excited
!" said set tho fore shoes on those two
feet, you b-hlundCrlng Dutchmnn."
Set four shoes on two feet Un, hap'
laughed the smith sconfully and angri-
~. Hundret to'lsand bitten, you tam
Iankeen
You w~w-wooden headed Dutch
man ~
You Yankee goose! monkey! Won
tam jackass, fool :"
Tho colonel replied, suffering worse
than ever the smith struck his fiat and
iabhercd Dutch, his knowledge Of En-
glish being exhausted; aud they had it
back and forth until mutual acquaint-
anoe came up and explained the matter.
The colonel paid tho charge, laughing
at tho mistake, while Meinhcer smoked
iicrcely, cursing copiously the language
that made four feet two feet, or two feet
four feet, any way but. the right way
doonder and bitten!
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1865-07-28
go Young Mcii.

VIC hHve. seen q youth brought down
by drink from place of honor aud
hopefulness, laid upon his bed, uttering
hideous groans, twisting himself in
mingled bodily and mental agony, like
n live eel upon hook. We have seen
an old man, who knew that drink was
making his life-spring fail fast away,
yet, in spite of threats and persuasion,
going drunk to bed every night. We
have heard that man, when sober, say,
" If there is one place in hell worse than
another, 1t must be mine, for know the
right and do the wrong;" and yet he
drank himself to death.
We have seen fomale, with gentle
air and tender frame, stand and tell that
she had n batch Of demons within her,
uttering loud voices, and declaring that
they had her surely bound over to hell
Reason had fed. Drink had brought
madness on. And yet, Whenever the
deiirium abated, she returned to the
drink again.
What need Of cases ? We have seen
drunkenness in most of its stages and
forms and eiIects; but we have never
yet met drunkara who either became
a drunkard all at once, or who designed
to become one. In every case, without
exception, the dreadful demon, vice,
"f't' ~ .''S. 't'N 'ttNhiNANs w oAo" ttT
groes, and at last surprised the victim.
The sinners with whom he kept COM
pany did not entice him to become q
sot in a single night, They only in
vited him to go into cheerful company.
They suggested that religion, when
rightly understood, did not forbid a
merry evening. He went, and the
evening was merry. Strong drink con-
tributed to its merriment. He was sober,
He had no intention of becoming a
drunEard, either then or on my subse-
qucnt occasion. a drunkard, however,
he is now. He IS in the pit, and who
shall pull him out? May God have
mercy oa the lost immortal, for he is
beyond all help of man
Let young men, as they value their
souls, beware of those Satan-invented
customs prevalent in society, which
multiply the occasions of tasting strong
drink. These habits Of slipping so FREE
queniiy, on every occasion of Joy OF
sorrow, or idle ease or excessive toll, in
freezing cold erin gcorching heat---thesc
habits OF n little now and little then
seem to have been invented with n
tiendish ingenuity, 20 be9ot ut last, in
the greatest possible number, the frey
thirst which when once awakened. viii
mercilessly drag its subject down
through dishonored life to an early
grave. .-Rcv. Dr.. ArRot.
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1865-07-28
Pew Talk,

That tall young fellows hcre to.tlayt
wonder what's his name? ...
Ills eyes are fixed upon our pew ......
DO Look at Sallie Dame.
Who's that young Indy dressed IN rroen ?
1T emit be Mrs. Leach;
There's Mrs. Jones with Deacon Gile--
wonder II he'll prcGchr
Lend me your fan, 1t is so warm:
We both VIII sit in prayers;
Mourning becomes the widow Amcs-
How MHIy's bonnet farcal
Do look Mt Nancy sleeper's vail
It's full y breadth too wide;
/ wonder if Susannah Ayrrs
Appears to-day as bride?
Lord what voice Jane Rice hrs got;
On now that organ rOnrs;
I'm glad We've left the singers scat
How hard Miss johnson snorcsl
What ugly shawls those are Ia frontl
Did you observe Ann WildP
Her new straw bohnet's trim'a with bleci,
guess she's lost n child.
I'm half asleep; that Mr.. Jones,
His sermons are so long;
This afternoon wen stay ut home
And practice that new song.
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1865-07-28
The Neanest Inhabitant.

Everybody has heard of the "ollEes,
inhahitant," while but very few have
heard OF the mcnnest one. We have
him in Benton county. lie lives six OF
seven miles northeast Of Ninton. Last
week sister OF his, her husband, and q
small child, who had not seen this af.
tectionate relative for eight years, tray-
eled seventy miles with team 10 make
a short visit at his house. Their aston
ishnent may be better imagined than
described, when they We're presented
with bill Of % cents for feeding their
team once, and five cents for q pint OF
milk for the child; and informed that
their visit should end unless they would
pay their board. All this occurred i'm
less than an hour from the time they
arrived at the home of this mons tor
Ills excuse was that he owed considera-
Bile On large farm, and that he had no
yictuals to give away. We once knew
man worth $50, 900 who ate half-hatch-
ed eggs, to economize, but we don t
think that even he would use sister so
indecently.- W'atoys EayLe.
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1865-07-28
Hints 30 Ra.hers.

AT this warm season when battling
is 80 popular, 1t will be well to observe
the following practical hints, which we
take from the London Sirpenny Kugu-
cine.
"On first plunging into cold water
there comes Il shock which drives the
blood to the central part of the system.
But Immediately areactiOn takes place,
which is assisted by tho exercise of
swimming, producing, even i'm water
of low temperature, an agreeable
warmth. The stay in tho water should
never be prolonged beyond the period
of this excitement. Ifthe water be left
while this warmth continues, and tho
body Immediately dried, the healthy
glow over the whole surface will be de-
lightful.
"To remain in the water after the
first reaction Is over produces proiong-
ed chillinesa, n shrinking of the flesh
and q contraction Of the skin by no
means favorable to health or enjoyment;
for II is only in water thoroughly Y warm
ed by the summer heats, where we may
bathe for many hours with impunity
Certain precautions arc necessary
Moderate exercise, by summoning into
action the powers of the system, and
quickening tho circulation, Is better
than inactivity. We never should go
into water Immediately after meal,
nor while the process OF digestion is
going forward. Nor should we plunge
into the water when violently heated or
in q state of profuse Precipitation. 49,
Such imprrdonces are often fatal, eB-
pecially If tho watcr.be unusually cold.
If too warm the temperature Of the body
may be reduced by bathing the wrists
and wetting the head.
Before meals rather than after, and
especially after breakfast and before sup
per, are proper seasons for bathing
The heats of the day are to be avoided,
but in very hot weather, q bath is useful
to cool the blood, and secure refreshing
sleep. II in the middle OF the day, q
shady place should be chosen, or the
head protected from the sun by being
kept wet, or by wearing Il straw hat, MS is
practised by the fashionable French
ladies at their watering places.
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1865-07-28

A FREAK OF THE TELEGRAPH.--Cf
ali the freaks of the telegraph, the fol-
lowing is the most laughabIe which has
come under our personal knowledge.
Not long since graduate from one of
our Eastern theological schools was call
ed TO the PASTORAL charge of church
in the extreme Southwest. When be
was about to start for his new parish he
was unexpectedly detained by the inca
pacity Of the Presbytery to ordain him.
In order 70 explain his non-arrival at
the appointed time, he sent the follow
ing tesegram to the deacons of the
church: /" Presby terry lacked quorura
to ordain." II the course of its Journey
the message got strangely metamorpho-
sed, and reached the astOnished deacon
in this shape: Presbytery tackled q
worn on TO ADAM The sober churci.
officers We're greatly discomposed and
Elystiiled, bat after grave consultation
co.4elucedil vas tneininister's faeetious
way q a.llouneing hat he had got mar
fied, aad accordingly proceeded 10 pro-
vide lodgings for two instead Of one.
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1865-07-28

HITTING 4 BUNGHoIE.--The follow
ing dialogue on sharp shootingn took
place between rebel and Yankee
picket:
" 1 say can you fellows shoot ?"
Wall, ! reckon we can some.'
Down in Mississippi we can knock
n bumble-bee OFT a thistle bow ut 300
yards"
"Oh, that Amt nothing to the way
we sheWt up in Vermont. 7 belonged
toa military company up ther' with a
hundred men in each company, and we
went out for practice every week. The
Cap'n draws us up in single file, and
sets a cider barrel rolling down the hill,
and each man takes his shot ut the
bungholo us il turns up. II is after
wards examined, and if there is shot
that didn't go i'm the bunghole, the
member who missed it Is expelled.
belonged 10 tho company ten years, and
there aint been nobody expelled yet"
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1865-07-28
4 F0Iunin In u few words.

IhC following sentences contain IL
vast deal OF wisdom In u small cornpaas.
Ihey form tho essence OF volumes com
pressed and expressed into II compact
and terse paragraph. These maxima
should no carried in Tive pockct-book.
and read every day or two till they be-
come thoroughly familiar to all, and
particularly TO young men looking to n
place in the world. Obedience to them
VIII make any mans place certain and
honorable.
Keep good company or none. Never
be idle, III your hands caunot be use-
fully employed attend 10 the cultivation
Of your mind. Always speak the truth.
Make few promises. Live up to your
engagements Keep your own secrets,
if you have any. When you speak TO n
person, look them in the face. Good
company and good conversation are the
very sinews OF virtue. Good character
cannot be essentially injured except on
your own acts. Ii any one speaks evil
of you, let your life be 80 that none will
believe him. Drink no kind of intoxi-
eating liquors. Ever live, misfortuncs
excepted, within your income. When
you retire 10 be,i, think over what YOU
have been doing during the day. Make
no haste to be rich it you would prosper.
Small and steady gains give coinpctencv
with tranquility ~ mind. Never PLAY
ct any kind Of game Of chance. Avoid
temptation through fear you may not
Withstand 1t. Never run into debt, un-
less you can see way to get out again.
Never borrow ii you can possibly avoid
1T. Do not marry until you are able to
support wife. Never speak evil OF any
one. BE just before You are gcI,erons.y
Keep yourself innocent II you would be
happy, save when you are young to
spend when you are old. Read over the
above mbxinls III least once a week,
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1865-07-28

A TOUCHING ScENE.--A correspond
ont OF the Utica Observer, writing from
Albany, in speaking Of Che arrival Of
the Ninety-iirst regiment, says that lie
saw one lubty six-footer, rs bronzcd as
sun and wind could make him, leave
the ranks and rush for the sidewalks,
where % beautiful lady inet hin, pre-
sented arlas and sstluted him with an
old fashioned smack, plulap in the
moath, Hs,ich seemed 20 make the
hero feel ike rainboW,s and ice-cream
all over; bat the man was "equal to
th2 2lnarce aud sais, z thank God,
Mary, am home WIN Two lc.s, two
arms, and two eycs-to stayp
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1865-07-28

SKINNIEG GEN. DUTLEG's HoRsE.--
About six months ago, while i'm the
neigbborbood of Dutch Gap Canal Gen.
Butler received information that his ia
yorite horse almond Eye" had been
accidentally killed by falling into IA
vine. Upon the departure ofhis inform
ant, he ordered an Irishman to go and
skin him.
"What! is Almond Eye deadp" asked
Pat.
1" What's that to you2 do as bid you,
and ask no questions
Pat went about his business, and in
ali hour on two returned.
"Weli, Pat, where have you been all
this time?n
"Skinning the horse, yer honor"
'DoeS IL take nearly two hours to
perform such an operation ?ns
NO, yer honor; but then you soc it
tuck bout half an hour to catch him.
!" Catch him! fire aud furies! was he
alive
Yes, yer honor; and you know /
could not skin him alive"
ST Skin him alive! did You kill him %
ITO be sure did you know / must
obey orders without asking any ques-
ti0ns.n
Gen. Butler eyed his servant with
such a malicious look that Pat thought
ne meditatea skinning an Irishman in
revenge for the death Of his horse.
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1865-07-28
a GOOD OPPORTUNITY.
TIRE SUBSCSgUEE

F1BfT cEsSTsNk HEX UFFEKg FTJR SAIF
a the farm and rrea,s. occupied by him situated
two ises East OF Cedar Fans The farm Il II aprcy-
e'iahd = well srown as one OF The best farms Ia the
COUNTY. 70 aEy ere 8esroUs 5f continuing sic fairr
bus'ess already commenced, Ills is IN appatfuny se-
dom eqialea. For Pastelars Rtpirc % the pres ses
o. q Ja6u 6re2H, ca3af Fails
ll-tt = srEARNa
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1865-07-28

Wn.N Benjamin parted With Davis,
ne SAID (" We're both going to the same
pi.. 4tpW Is that ASKED Davis.
Weii," sad Benjamin., aEa GOING
10 EUROPE, you're going 70 your rope =
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1865-07-28
/ oCr Young Folks.
The Model Young Lady.
by MARIAN DOUGLAS.

by MARIAN DOUGLAS. "E...
Every one calls her remarkably rood:
All or her virtues are well understood;
Spotless her laccs, and smooth is her hair:
She Is Propriety's SELF sitting there
With her bland smile and satisfied air
Cheerful p. What of itH She smiles when
YOU smile;
Let's you the wearisome moments beguile,
Tnkcs your red roses and weaves into crowns
Lists while the voice of your fiattery sounds
"Cheertul?" Go, prove her with shadows and
IoWnS.
Loved and loving?r She has q new ring,
Jeweied and costly, an exquisite thing;
Fur too imposing token tn hide,
Pledge Of her conquest she wears it with pride:
Pleased to be chosen as Luxury's bride.
Free from quick passlonr" Her heart-boats
are slow;
How should the half-empty chalioe o'ertow ?
rev are the feelings she has 10 restrain:
What does She know of the tofturing pain,
or the racKed heart and the agonized brain?
Pattern for othersr" What tempts he, to
stray?
Where could she find more sunshiuy way?
Changing her path were 10 darken her hours
SHINING means thtstles and saintliest flowers :
DUTY leads onward through vineyards and
bowers.
Not that judge her, Q, bitter nnd stern
Lessons, IN future, her spirit may learn!
Nectar, by Keeping, may turn into Rall,
Angels turn demons when tempted to tail:
Goouness untried is no goodness nt all.
Not tho franlSinecnsc and gold from tho mino,
NC. tile sweet tiagranco OF Gailiiee's wine, '
NOT the rich ointment tao penitent poured,
NOT tle nOsanna's triumphant accord
Lord. ~
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1865-07-28

A WrNDFAfL.--O One of our citizens
n Woodworking clerk and a deserving
man--has, by the death Of an uncle in
Wisconsin, fallen heir to four good
farms and nineteen thousand dollars in
cash Such q windfall as that will
meyer occur TO ,.s, simply because the
only relative we have Oh earth who is
better Off than oursclf, il poorer than
Lazarus when the dogs licked his sores!
Besides this, he has u wife and sixteen
children, and has no more interest in
the 7-3o loan, or any other financial
cammodity, than, Jeff Davis has in the
Kingdom vi ltssyeG, Our chances are
pretty slim. DsS.foit18 Rcgister.
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1865-07-28
S. 7-3O BONDS,

FfHEE ONLY s0yfsNNFST LOAN hoy 70 BE
= ha5 : par. tUae.tifH aa received ~
FpWNSbHD & XsAPP
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1865-07-28

As inpatient boy, waiting for tho
grist, said to the mi.ses. could eat
the meal as fast as the mill grinds it.n
" How long could You do so ?' inquired
the miller. Til / starved to death,v
was the sarcastic reply.
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1865-07-28

oTE oftao i!uhsehiias won $500, 900
On the ficacn Derby races.
Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1865-07-28
y. II. POWERS,
Dss. u. D. sEsEzGglEss,

HAS LOCATED IN CEDAR FALLS, AND RE-
specially tenders his professional services in ali
the branches Of mediCa! SCIENCE to the citizens OF the
town and vicinity He practices the Eclectic Reform
ed System OF Medicine. Residence on First Street, west
OF the Race Bridge 43u
Dayton daily empire. [volume] (Dayton [Ohio]) 1850-1865, 1865-04-11
new York MarE.,.

New YoRK, April ll-Cotton dull and ouis,.
Flour rather dull and unsettledr; I s6Ss OG
tor extra state, and 8 45as 60 for ronnS
hoop Ohio Wheat, small receipts. dpIl
3a6c lower at 80 for Milwaukee, olnb
and ] 704 for old Chicago sprins !,
Rye dull and heavy at 25ai az
Corn dull at 35al 40 for new vsllow
southern; Oats dull and lower al 8saBs cts
Tor western Pork Grmer at 2e ~
Tor new mess, "a OOa24 SO for '63 and "a
"a OOa24 90 for prime; Lard dull at Ib4ais.
Whisky rather steadier at ar for western.
Petroleum dull at SO cents for crude. "a c,s
Tor refined in bond, 72a73c for free; Dressed
Hogs quiet at l7al7a for western; sugar
dull ct l7aal84c for Musoavado; Buttar sSa
1Sc for Ohio Cheese quiet at l5a24e; Beef
dull and heavy; Cutmeats dull. Eggs firm
at 27a28c. ss' "'"
Dayton daily empire. [volume] (Dayton [Ohio]) 1850-1865, 1865-04-11

New YoRK, April lI.-stocks doll and
better Gold closed at 1864; Money
8, Chicago, Burlington & Quincy IO3.
lseaulng io3t 6-2O coupons 1868; iO.4O's
TTTuPo9S Sit one year certificates SO :;
P1hs, iVo; New York Central 994; Erie 7Ot;
, 1n1ied nn, states SKIES OF 1881, registered lO6i
1-3Os l49i Sterling Exchange 1904; u 4
slxes OF 81 registered l08; 8 20's.reeistered
iOSt coupons l07t; fves of "a coupons
pons, 1870; 500 coupons, new issue lO1a
Dayton daily empire. [volume] (Dayton [Ohio]) 1850-1865, 1865-04-11
AFTERNOON REPORT.


WAsHINoToS, April 1.-THE Richmond
Wing OF Monday is received 1t says.
Whatever may be the fate of the Constitu.
tlonal Amendment, it is as certain as sunrise
that slavery in Virginia is dead fl.I
A National Bank Of the United States is to
be at once established in Richmond, where
shares in United States stocks will be sold
at the rates established in Northern cities.
More than half Of General Picketts divis.
ion has been brought in or captured and The
country between Richmond and Amelia couh.
~ IS said TO be fsll of Confederate soldiers.
nearly ell of them Virginians, making their
way home.