Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1865-06-14
- COLUMBUS. OHIO WEDNESDAY MORNING JUNE
0blo States1,(1|;a1>n... ia n.
THE OLD WOMAN AND THE
CROW.
from The Chattanooga Daily Gszotte.i
BY W. N. JOHNSON.

From The Chattanooga Daily Gszette.l
The following amusing anecdote, which
has never yet appeared in print, struck me
as containing point so keenly satirical,
that l determined to write it down and
have it ''placed on the records.p 1t was
told me by one who was both an eye and
ear witness, and who, of course, speaks iron,
the book. The story will lose much of its
ludicrousness in my styleof writing, and
his of telling 1t, but here. goes: ..-.
At a certain CROSSROADS, in the State OF
Alabama, stood asmall grocery, or 'whis-
ky-shop," "previous to the rebellion, where
"bust-head," and ''chain-lightning" were
dealt out to the thirsty, unwashed at the
small sum of five cents drink, or twenty
cents quart The presiding genius of this
delectable institution was one Bill Skies,
who among various other pets, had ado
mesticated crow, black as the ace Of spades.
This crow had learned, among other things,
to repeat quite plainly the words 'sdamn
y0u," which he, of course, heard frequently
used In the grocery. During the preva-
lence of a knock-down-and-drag-o fight
one day, however, the crow was frightened
from his home and flew. of into the woods,
never to return. ..tpaapr ..lr.r..
About three miles from the grocery was
a settlement meeting-house-an old, tum-
ble-down, dilapidated affair, only used on
certain occasions, when a ''circuit rider
happened to pass that way. Into this build
ing went the crow, taking peaceable pos
session; and two days thereafter the church
was thrown open for preaching, and large
crowd assembled, among whom was avery
old lady, who was compelled to use crutch-
es in walking, who took her seat in the
'front pew" and was soon deeply absorbed
in the eloquence of thepreacher. The rev.
erend gentleman had scarcely got under
full headway, and commenced laundering
his anathemas at all grades of sinners,
when hoarse. croaking voice from above
uttered the ominous words: r $40.
Damn youp ..c,.. ......... ... -....... .
The preacher and congregation looked
aghast at such profanity, and each peered
in his neighbours face in vain to detect some
sign of guilt. Quiet was at length restor-
ed, however, and the sermon proceeded,
but ere ten minutes had elapsed the onin-
GUS "damn you" again electrified the audi
ence, and Just as the preacher cast his eyes
upward to search tor the delinquent, the
crow flew down from his perch, and, light
ing on the Bible, calmly surveyed the ter
ritied crowd, as he gave another doleful
croak: ...r a.-r.
Damn goa! !"
The effect was electrical. Giving one
startled and terrified glance at the intruder,
the preacher sprang through a window,
carrying sash, glass and all with him, and
| set off at a break-neck pace through the
woods, closely followed by his horror
stricken congregation, who had piled ou'
Of the building pell-mell after him. In thu
general scramble, the old lady with thu
erutches had been knocked down in tn,
church, where she lay, unable to rise, anC
on observing her, the crow twho was aftel
| something to eat) flew down beside her
and cooking up his eye at her very know.
ingly, again ciroaked; Ha .aJ0. IT, .....
damn youw
The Old lady eyed him savagely for few
moments, and then burst forth, in tone o.
reckless defiance: Hr. r".siA-a-t s.r
"Yes-and damn you too had nothing
to do with getting up this Methodist meet.
ing--and you know it, toom ,....-, -.
The poor old soul had mistaken the crow
for the Devil, and concluded to propitiate
If possible, the wrath Of his Satanic majes.
tyiby denying all completely in the affair
The worlds full of just such people. gl-f