Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1865-09-19
WRIT AND WISDOM.

WRIT AND WISDoM.
The dog law in New York is a sort of Cur-few.
The Atlantic Cable.-We never shall see the
end of it.
Motto for the Great Eastern-ssCut and come
again."
The Boston Post says the police of New York
are in fault Ketchum left-not (s)cent behind.
Greedy says he composes two columns per day.
He ,composes nothing, he agitates.
The height Of impudence is kissing another
mans sweetheart and then protesting that you
couldn't help it,
The only difference between a negro suffrage
advocate and negro is-the one has the sskinks'
inside while the other has them outside.
The fellow who is counting Miss Demeanor,
thinks seriously of breaking off the engagement,
and has already commenced visiting Miss For
tune.
"Father, how can the sea run when it's tide 81
asked Teddy. 'sIt sets still, child" s'How can
it when it has no bottom 2" Teddy was led out
of the door by the hair of the head.
jolly old doctor said that people who were
prompt in the payments always recovered feom
their sickness, as they were good customers and
the physicians could not afford to lose them
A driver Of coach in Texas, stopping to get
some water for the young ladies in the carriage,
being asked what he stopped for, replied, 81 am
watering my flowers delicate compliment
A London merchant recently advertised for
clerk who could '.bear confinement" He received
an answer from one who had been upward of
seven years in Jail. Of course he was eligible.
Is not the negro man and brother?
N Y. Independent
He may be your brother or half brother, he is
no relation of ours. louisville Journal
A canflarnon bav;np haon oclyod on HE eoturr
from party the other evening, if he had seen
Miss A., young lady noted for her low
necked style of dress-replied, ''ke had seen
great deal ofher.''
Prentice of the Louisville Journal, objects to the
five minutes rule in the New York prayer meet
ings. He says, Imagine for instance, old Ben
net of the Herald confessing his sins in the space
of five minutes %
''You have been sorely tried,' said sympa
thizing friend of Joe Crowdon, weeping over the
coffin Of his third wife. 'sYes,'' responded the
bereaved one, 81 have always had the dreadfullest
luck with women"
The degree of L. L. D. has been conferred up
on Mr.. Stanton by Union College. This is very
appropriate, considering that Mr.. Stanton has
doctored the laws to suit his views pretty eff
fectually during the war.
One of our finest writer's says that the e'nightIy
dews come down upon us like blessings How
very differently the daily dues come down upon,
us printers, these hard times. We think we
would be blessed if there was less due.
'sWhat fine head your boy has % said On ad-
miring friend. eyes, said the fond father, she's
a chip of the old block-ain't you, my boy ?"-
eyes, father, replied the boy, ''teacher said yes
terday that was young blockhead.'
An audacious wag at our elbow, asks why Gen.
Sheridan, was at one time last Winter, like a
morning newspaper?
D'you give it up?
because he went to press Farley"
A preacher selected the following words
for his texts The world, the flesh and the devil,
Observing that he would arrange each under it's
proper head, he would commence upon the flesh
pass lightly the world, and hasten as fast as
he could to the devil.
A lady of doubtful years, was admonished by a
gentleman for whom she had great contempt
s'that if she would stay at home, the Lord would
send her a husband" To which she replied, that
eff he did, and he such one as he was, she
hoped he would send rope with him.
A little contraband was arrested Yesterday
morning. says the Nashville Times, for taking
coal from the Clay Hospital. He was taken be-
fore Captain Drye. The Captain asked him why
he had stolen the coal, when he quickly replied,
f:We bof longs to de Gubment.''
ssWhat do you ask for this article gu inquired
Obediah of Miss Julia.
ssFifteen shillings."
sAint you little dear?'
y ssWhy,' she replied, blushing, call the young
men tell me So"
During the war woman went to a grocer's shop,
and found that she was paying nearly double for
candles, so she asked what was the reason candles
were so dear. The grocer replied
-
ssDear me % said the woman, ave they got
to fghing by candle light r.
The Berkshire County (Mass.) Eagle, moved by
the list of crimes of various kinds appearing in
its local column, very concisely remarks: eff
the devil isn't at large now, he never was; he is
continually moving up and down the earth, stop
ping at Pittsfeld both ways as he goes, not only
seeking whom he may deyour, but always deyour-
ing somebody"
The following is a copy of poetical invitation
on the sign of the Beehive, an old Inn at Abing-
don, kept by William Honey:
ssWithin this Hive we're all alive,
Good liquor makes us funny;
If you are dry step in and try,
The flavor of our Honey"
Notes and Queries.
i.Do you keep nails here 20 asked sleepy look
ing lad walking into one of our stores the other
day.
eyes," replied the gentlemanly proprietor 1--WE
keep all kinds of nails. What kind will you have,
Sir, and how many?"
''Well," said the boy, sliding toward the door,
eI'll take pound of finger nails, and pound and
q half of toe nails"
lawyer built himself an Office in the form of
a hexagon, or six square. The novelty of the
structure attracted the attention of some Irish
men who were passing by, they made full stop
and viewed the building very critically. The law
yer somewhat disguised at their curiosity, lifted
up the window, put his head out, and addressed
them:
"Why do you stand there like pack of block
heads gazing at my Office 2 Do you take it for
church s''