The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-07-27


pened not the house of his prisoners, bu
starved them to death ? that worshippe
King Cotton !?
Moreover the Lord said unto Abraham
Issue thy proclamation of confscation
and l will take my servants from har'
bondage wherein they have been made t.
serve, and they shall guard their master
with bayonets.
And will make the garden of Edel
and the Eden of earth wilderness,
waste desert; l will sweep the land o
Dixie with the bosom of destruction
Moreover, / will cut off the son and neph
ew off JEFF, so that they will not rise up t.
fill the world again with tories. And A
braham rejoiced.
Moreover, one Richard, of the house
of Yates, Governor of Illinois, telegraph
ed to Abraham, saying: Issue your proc
lamation of confscation moreover call
out million of men.
And Abraham answered Richard, and
said: Dick, hold still and see the saliva.
tion of God. And Dick said, The will OF
the Lord be done.
And the army of God smote the Phil
istines with continual stroke, and took
the forts that old Buchanan had stolen
and given to JEFF.
And the army of the Lord took Fort
Fort Henry, Fort Donelson, Fort Colum-
bus, and put to flight the Philistines at
Shiloh, and slew ten thousand and made
new river through the timber and
took Island No. 10, and twenty thousand
stand of arms, and prisoners not few.
And one Ulysses of the house of Grant.
besieged Vlcksburg, and oppressed the
army of JEFF. in command of one Penn
berton the High Priest,
Insomuch that the soldiers and citizens
prayed to the High Priest, and said, Give
US meat that we perish not and Penn
berton said unto them, Bring hither your
beasts of burden, moreover, you catch
rats.
And the soldiers did bring their poor
mules and slew them in the presence of
Pemberton, and the people did eat rats,
mule meat and hard tack.
And the Lord granted unto Grant sue
cess, and the brave Illinois blew up the
forts, and on the 4th of July, 1868, the
city was surrendered to Grant with thir-
ty-three thousand prisoners and forty flour
thousand stand of arms, and cotton bales
not few.
And Butler took New Orleans and
Farragut took the coast, and the aboli-
tionists took Europe and the rest of the
world Selah.
And Jefferson was sorel y troubled, and
his wives and his concubines wept. And
Jeffersen called his astrologers and sooth
sayers, and said unto them.
Call your father Beelzebub that he
may deliver US out of the hands of Abra-
ham that we perish not; and they called
upon their father, and he answered and
said, here | am.
And they said unto Beelzebub, Jeffer-
son thy High Priest calle:h for thee, be-
ing sorely oppressed by Abraham.
Then Beelzebub, King of Tartarus,
called for his bat wings, and screwed on
his long tail, and Judas, and Arnold and
Burr, put on his long horns, and the De-
vii took his fight from hell to the land
of Dixie.
And answered and said unto Jefferson,
his wives and his concubines, Servants
of My kingdom, you are beloved above
all thy fellows.
Because you have kept the people of
the South in ignorance, and taught thy
children to sell their daughters to concu-
binage, and their sons for field hands.
Moreover, because you have discarded
the American Eagle, emblem of liberty,
and did adopt the rattlesnake as the en-
sign of nationality, the companion Of the
copperhead.
The beloved form of the serpent that
assumed when [ entered the garden of
Eden, and brought sin and death into
the world, and peopled my kingdom !;
therefore ye are beloved therefore ye
are beloved above all my servants.
And l will call upon my vicegerent
Vallandigham, the leader of the Copper
heads, the companions of the rattlesnakes;
And put it into his heart to croak
peace, peace, when there is no peace
Moreover, / will call the copperheads in
convention in Springfield, Illinois, and
make them resolve that further often
siye prosecution Of the war is unconstitu-
tional, subversive of the government, and
tends to disunion and anarchy.
And l will cause the Copperheads. the
companions of rattlesnakes, to hiss and
shout with loud noise, Hurrah for Val
landigham.
Moreover, my servant Jefferson, in
whom my heart delighteth, will call on
the Copperheads in a national convention
at Chicago, and make them resolve that
the experiment Of four years war against
thee and thy people is failure; and that
they are for Immediate cessation OF hos
tilities and for my servant Pendleton.
And [ will seduce Geo. b. Mcclellan
to accept the nomination of thy friends
at Chicago.
Furthermore I will send the witch OF
Endor to my kingdom and call my CHIEF
rulers Judas Iscariot, Aaron Burr, and
Benedict Arnold and flesh of thy flesh,