The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1865-04-13
3 HEST, (WHICH is IN THE


SAINTS REST, (WHICH IS IN THE)
Staff Nv Moo Gersey. ~ Il
| am no believer in costs er dreens,2 er
SIGH, ner never wuz Eff the tyrent Linkun
(Which is an ape shood draft me- and
shood be dragged tew the tented field a
unwilling marter' | no | shood mulch prefer
meetin the COST Nv a. rebbil soljir, which is
a shadder, than encounter one in the
flesh, with a muskit and baynit witch is no
shadder. Dreems is likewise unsubsta nshel
and result nine cases out Nv ten from abuse
Nv the stummick. l dreem but seldunl
and wen du, allez attribit it tew eatin ID
pound or two moar Nv sassij, er drinkin a
quart er moar whiskey then | RELY need
late at mite; and | never belevd they wuz
prophetik, becoz doant allow that the sect
Nv prophecy il located in the stummjc.
These IL mi theory of costs, dreelns, and
SIGH like.
Ihed a dreem last mite witch left a inpre
shun on my mind he'd bin prepairin
a surman, provin that ''Survents, obey
yoor masters" justified the catchiD NV
niggers with dorgs, wen l fell asleep and
dreemed. Methawt | wus ded and he'd lade
2 in staff 200 yeers, and he'd awaken, and
found myself again on earth. l saw moth
in pecoolyr. THAR wuz moar railroads and
n skule houses, and intu wun Nv the latter
II / went Hf.5g st5'N.f #s|..fI5
The skule-marm wuz examining a class
of Youngsters in histry.
''Who WIZ the gratest and coolest men
Il the Yoonited Stats ever prodoost2'
George Washington and Abreham
Linkum."
swat did they do?'
Washington founded the Government,
and Linkum preserved it."
''Who was the wurstest men the cuntry
ever prodoost?'
The little CURL answered
'Joodath Ithcaroit, Benedict Arnold, JEFF
Davith and Valandygum." tab .a
''Yoor wrong, my child,'' retorted the
skulemarm. Judas lived in another cum
try, and befoar the uthers. They were so
similar however, that the error IL excoos-
able. What did Arnold and Davis and val
landigum do?' taf1 .g5A3s 4
''Arnold betrayed his cuntry and took
up arms agin it. Davis rebelIed agin his
Government and Vallandygum helped
him awl he Good without getting himself
in danger"
''Wbat names were given them ez oppo-
zed the Government '76 and CLIP
''Tories and copperheads.' -,..
(which wuz the wust traitors-the to-
ries or Cope
''That pint hez been much discussed.
but no conclusion has ever been arrived
at" Ah a. 6
~. How many turns wuz Linkun Presl-
he dent?" ~ a
q 1.-TWO s
% ''Hed he emmy opposition for the second
turm?'
''Nun to speak Nv. The rebels and
copperheads run disgraced soier, whose
name some historians give ez Nc Fadden,
uthers ez Mick Nellen, and others Mick
Lellen; but ez he reserve no votes in the
g electoral collij, the elexshen was consid-
cred unanimous The copperhead candy
DAFT sunk intew obscuritee after the war
and he wuz forgotten, which wuz lucky
fer hiz chrildr en-"
| notist tibet abowt half the children he'd
bloc ribbon, one fowrth wuz drest ordina
ry, and the balance he'd a white rag pm
ned tew their bax. askt the skule marin
wat this indicated She askt me ifI WIZ
ferrlner, tew witch | anserd | Wuz a fer
reign printz i'll disglze on a toor Nv obser-
vashun. She replied.
Chem ez hez bloc ribbons il descend
ents NV the soljers Nv the CRATE rebellion
them with no decorations il descendants
rum loyal men who was not soliers, and
them poor things who hev the white rags, -
(she busted into teers and wept profoosIy)
''are the unfortunate descendants nv
Copperheads
| vizzited Cort Howse The case tina
wuz trying wuz SANDER. One man assurt.
ed tibet the CRATE CRATE grandfather Nv an
luther, who wuz opposing canIydait fer
Gusts NV the Piece, he'd been Copperhead,
Planetitf brough intew cort a old papur
printed in 1864, which showed tibet sed
ancestor waz on Linkum Sentrel Kom-
a nifty. Curry brought in a vurdict Nv
m $4,000 damigis fer planetiff. s-a sa
d D'oa woke from this dreem in a cold SWEET
5,.s tls it possible, thought !, 'thet posterity
will not regard us2" and fer a minnit !
wuz almost pursuaded tew be a Christian
But thought Nv the postorfces and sed
tew myself What is posterity tew a dead
man? Let me have orfs and the neaus
NV keeping my skin full Nv whisky with
out wurE, and posterity may think what il
Pieces And | rezumed labor on my
sermon. PETROLEUM Y NAsBY,
Faster of sed church in charge.