Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-12-07
[From the La Crosse (wis.) Democrat
Brick and Knt,sta.

attends prayer meetings. swops horses,
stands chaplain in the army, and gets drunk
on the slyl Oh dear. This is much mise
ryl Wherefore shall we fee unto now2--
How we used to do the courting for those
girl. Candy, peanuts, worm lozcnges,
peppermint drops, little balls Of honey soap,
night blooming for seriousness, and such
evidences did we pour into them lap Of hers
whereon at vesper chimes this head of ours
did rest, SO sweetly rest. Oh dearl Ol X
lista
We used to backen our boots, starch our
hair, grease our shirt and curl our eyebrows
for them girl. And we rode horse for her
paternal derivative to cultivate corn; and
we MIXED the brindle heifer as what no
other boy. could milk; and we split oven
wood and who would not for her ma?
And at night when bats come forth, and
tumble bugs crawled over the lea and young
pullets sat in maiden meditation fancy free,
holding their heads under one wing so as to
learn love by hearing their hearts beat, we
would hasten under Kalista's window, and
she would with her lilly white hand snail us
up by the hair till we arrived Hat the bower of
love, as she called her garret. Twas thus
our hair become less and our confectionery
for Kalista increased.
| When the week had busted on the rock
of Saturday night we used to wander by
the brooklet and let the brook wander too.
And Kalista went forth with us. Hand in
hand like the Siamese ministers we roamed,
sat on the dewy bank to catch cold in our
heads and luxuriatc on the bank we with
devil" And we used to recline against
fatherly and motherly elm tree, and squeeze
our each others hands as we rolled our eyes
and pceked upward into the blue vault our
spirits longed to vaultsnto but didn't. Obi
this sparkngis is heaven in two volumes, with
the price mark omitted Did you ever
spark? If not, advance your works upon q
! female crinolne-dcar and commence active
hostities to onct!
Once we spanked Kalista when her moth
er was looking. The old lady stopped us,
cause it reminded her Of other times, she
said. But she didn't keep us stopped
When we wanted to repose our head, Kalis-
ia held her lap and into it we went like an
apple When we wanted akiss we told Ka-
lista such was our desire, when she would
lean her amber head over upon our forces
and say, Nov Brick tea is ready" You
Jest can gamble we took tea from that
| little table lots of times, and never ask
ed any one to help put back the plates!
Kalista was a zephyr on q kiss 1t was
pretty near her best holt. Making mush
was Kaista' charm. When the water did
boil, how she did sprinkle meal into tho
iron-iron-receptea kettle and sha kc her
locks in glee to see the infant mush bubble
and sputter like a fellow kissing baby with
his mouth full Of beechnuts.
We courted, spanked and courted kalista
seventeen long years. She grew from size
to greater size, and all went merry as fu-
neral bell. Kalista's maternal author said
we might, and we intended to. We sat on
rail fences, end boards to wagon boxes, piles
of pumpkins, heaps ofpotatoes, door steps,
saw logs, plow beams, pine stumps, where
we pined for each other and told or love,
and in anticipation, combed our hair. peeled
our potatoes, chopped our hash, rocked our
we'll never mind; wore our old clothes ex-
ccpt when we had company and waxed tat
on love and SIGH Kalista father said wo
might and there again we had things bag.
ged We counted our calves (halista had
nice calvcs) and Weighed our pork and sold
our veal, and churned our little mess of but
= ter, and took our wool to market, and put
up our little preserves and reveled in that
future which is so much like on oyster, more
shell than meat.
One day a balky steer slung ono of his
back hoofs in among the old gents waist
band, and after a series Of severe discom
forts, the old rooster went hence in Februa-
ry, when we all followed with march! Ka-
lista was a sensitive plant measuring fifty
nine inches around her Affections, and so
we murdered the steer and made him
into smoked beef. And at supper table,
and as we lunched between the heavy court
ing, we chawed the beef, and thus Kalista
and us got satisfaction from the juvenile OK
who steer his foot SO wickcdly
Then Kalista's mother, who would not
, partake of the beef, took cold in her head,
and went hence. 1t was autumn-one ofthe
fall months The mother of ourh hearts poi
son as we famiarly called kalista was of an
enqairing diSponition. She always asked
numerous things. She asked the egg man
if chickens abided in the shells of the hen
, fruit she bought She wanted to know why
the rounds were put in ladders crosswise in
stead of up and down. She wanted to
know why pants were made so that man
could not take them off over his head? She
said in her innocence that an eclipse
was caused by negro convention between
her and the moon But why the moon full
: ed, rather busted the venerable mother of
our Kalista and she sought to study it out.
l She read Daboll's arithmetic, Sands SPELL
= ing book, Robson Crusoe eand the La Crosse
: Democrat, but she could not get her fork
into the reason. The old lady read in an
. almanac that on q certain night the moon
! would full. We went to see Kalista that
I night to see if our love would full. The
: old lady determined to watch it and see how
4 a moon fulled, and when it iulled and what
for it did full. Night cameand she wrapped
e pair of red flannel drawers about her
c head, and when all in the house was still
, she emerged into the sitting room, and in
her antique costume-the old lady says,
= Brick your supper is ready So we went
r into the parlor and kissed the hours away.
{ Very fine supper!
n The old lady took an almanac, a New
= York directory and tallow candle out on
the back stoop. She anchored in big
J. chair and waited to see the moon change its
; clothes She looked and looked and at last
/ fell asleep for moment when, as she said,
the darned thing up and fulled, and she
20 didn't sec it!
IT She was not an observing female, but
u she never lost any children. Yet for al
l. that, the moon worried her--her candle
l. went out. KaiSta was left to be her owl
mother or do without Kalsta took grie
very healthy, She wore mourning and
looked well, as she wept because the iewclel
did not get her mourning pin done in time
She irOned n new cotton hadkerchief on the
If coffin lid, so as to have same use Of the fur
|. niture ere il was knocked down, and was
"A ro,dy for wedlock then Kolista was lone