The Norfolk post. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 1865-1866, 1865-09-08
Massa Linkum's Stiff Cats.


S--.,,--.-~~~~~~-
1t was on the simple negro servants OF
pleasant Madame P that sundry
rraceless scamps of our ''grand army
nlayed divers FRANKS of knavery. Our
forces bivouacked near her lands, in
passing up the Teche; and, shortly after
they had marched away, the lady one
day noticed that her sable landmarks
we're busted with great washing of gar
ments and bleeching of cotton and fine
linen to unwOnted snowiness. Lawns
were bestrewn with lawn; every bush
had a rag on it; the hedgerows were fes-
TONED with all fibrous particles OF APP
parel that could be whitened by the
bower of alkalies From morn till night
the blacks were ia hot water at wash
tubs. Kitchen tables smoked with heaps
of uncomfortable articles, glossy under
calendar and smoothing-iron. What
could this sudden storm of cleanliness
import? The mistress marvelled, and a
confidential tire-wOman at length EN-
lightened her. azf.s ~. ie4
q You see, Missy we's gwine to hab
our white robes all ready when de mes
senger come.'5 a
/" Who is the messenger, Lucille, and
why must you have white robes ready ~
not how MANY visions of Millerite pre-
parations suggested to her fancy.
Why, missy, dar am a high ossifer
gwine 10 come yer to Tuckapaw from
Massa Abe Linkum hisself, missy
| Hem gwine to write de cullud people i'll
de great book" H 'ea
- What nonsense are you telling me,
Lucille? n s,os7 .I,4.s...t-t. al l.,.=.
at am rale troo, missy no mistake
dis yer time. WEES all done got de stiff
cats" 5it
Got what, Lucille?" n
, Got de stiff-cats, missy, wild Mass,
t Linkum's pictur of hisself on DEM
Yves shore to git lie gold an silber bacl,
when do high ossifer done come to Tue
i kapaw.o vi b8a f.asg.a 9..is
! q Gold and silver back What do you
mean, Lucille?" -
80, missy, you know we's done man
cipate dis yer mint, but we isn't gwine
to leabe Tuckapaw. Weis prefer to stay
wild our kind missy.n
: "Wen, tell me about the goldI ane
silver, and why you are washing al
these clothes, child.n
'Kase it am ordered to be, missy
3 WEES to gwo all 'rayed in white robes
!, like de lambs, an tan all togeder GU
j yer by de bayou. Sartin shore, missy
| de high ossifer am gwine to come up il
I de biggest ribber boat, wild all de flag
: fyin', and we is to holler out rite smar
= for de Unum-n fi lt.4l teEl
J, "And the gold and silver, Lucille :?
e 80, we's gwine to have all de COOL
z an SLIDER done paid back agin, and cher
) cullud pusson am to git house an gal
7 den, and DARN not gwine to be no NOR
E workin' fur oberseers, only jes' for reg
l., u u +
I'll "Indeed But what do you mean by
ggs stttdin g, your gold gold and silver back
: "Lor' sakes, missy, / isn't tole yo,
!, bout dat yit an, declar, isn't don
/, showed you de Linkum stiff-cat."
: mo, indeed, you have not, Lucille.
!. Oar MN, de stiff-cat- De Linkur
sogers glib us all one, fore dey don
!, marched away" -. t..sff u.s-,L
r Saying this, the maiden drew from
e her dusky bosom scrap of paper
r was creased and discOlored, but Madam
q P contrived to decipher the printe
] contents. 1t was simply a square c
e pictured tissue paper, bearing q litho
: graphed head in one corner, and soap
, makers advertisement following-il
1 fact, the common imitation of banl
J, certificate, which we often see pasted OF
r the lid of fancy soap-bOx, OF at the en-
| of a match package.
: "Dat yes der rale picter of Massa A b'
| Linkum,n cried Lucille, with dancin.
Y eyes. '.De sogers done glib us all stiff
e cats like dat yer" - .s..., .f9ss Is
!. H"And YOU gave the soldiers your mo
ney for this, Lucille?" queried Madame
p, ~, missy. De sogers done tell
"Sarti. = Linkum want TO borry all
us dat Mass; her in Tuckapaw, les,
A de goold and 81. till de high ossifer
! done come up de bay - we is gwine
/ bress yoa's dear heart, missy, 7vn in de
to hab al our names look uos' - "wine
hook for Massa Linkum, an we - = eb-
. TO be sclar'd 'mancipate for eooel az :
Der. Den we's git back ali Ge Sp po n',at
SLIDER, an de high Ossifer-spee ~ n a1;h.'
h 1aM asso J,inklIm's own chile-he gips
ali de 'cullud people de houses aniaegaf-
,, myyeIl. Lucille, how mucii. money no
Won all give to the soldiers = iEtl.Yf
va one Glib dem all our sabins, missy
all what we sell de. chickens fur, an al
we done get fur the moss, long lore u
war"
neither you nor your silly people vii
ever see your money again.
.Lor' Dress you heart, missy, we's go
de stiff-cats," VI irusH u gU.
| "WelI, child, you have been cheate
with your precious, 'stiff-cats, as yo
call them. | suppose Anne has one.''
Eyes, missy, an Molly, an Classy, al
Phemy, an everybody. We is a
s'kure. ~ t..z7'FF g -ts.E adler
But poor Lucille learned, to her grea
chagrin, and that of Everybody
among the supplemented community
that they were all the "victims of mis-
placed confidence" Their white robe
were never called into requisition, an
| they waited vainly for the advent OF
high ossifer" with greetings IRON
"Massa Linkum" The whole thlnt
| was, a wicked swindle of the poor biac rs
by some vagabond Federal soldiers, y. Mn u,
had succeeded in obtaining upwaru VI
eight hundred dollars in specie
In -