The Potter journal. [volume] (Coudersport, Pa.) 1857-1872, 1865-08-15
YOUR SEAT. SIR -

who will not stand up for the ladies, un-
til be falls beneath the hand Of destiny,
and weak knees, ought TO be tattooed,
and cast out of decent society.
Perhaps my case may be an exception
al one. Being well wisher to mankind
in general, l fervently hope it is; for l
would not call upon my worst enemy
fate like mine.
/ Wherever I 60, no matter where, or
under what circumstances, my seat is
sure 10 be wanted by the time | get com.
fortably settled down.
J.. You think this is light aflietion, DO
you? I only wish you could change
individualities with me for season.
am not going TO bore you with an
elaborate history of my trials, but will
only tell you of some of the events that
befelI me during q tour which | took to
the White Mountains last summer.
/ And perhaps I had better say that I
an twenty-eight years of age, unmarried,
tolerably good looking, and admire the
ladies'.
The moroing I set forth 1 was rather
behind time, and had to run half mile
to the Grand Turk depot; and as the
mercury stood at 81 and was burdened
with a valise and an extra coat, | was
very nearly blown when I reached the
car.
( I sank down in the seat nearest the
door People generally do not like those
seats so near the door. Nervous folks
are afraid the azles may break old ladies
dread the draught from the door; young
ladies object to having their crinoline
crushed By every new conner; and gen.
tlemen dislike to have their morning
papers switched out Of their hands by
the coat tails of those who are always
coming aud going.
For all these reasons, [ chose this seat,
hoping l might be suffered to remain
unmolested. | had been seated perhaps
a couple of minutes, when the door was
flung open with bang, and an old lady
entered, bearing two band boxes, a bas-
ket, a bundle, brown paper package,
parasol, and a poodle dog.
/ She took view of her position-the
/ dog squeaked aud hid his head in her
shawl-the train sterted-the lady pitch
ed headlong into my arms, her luggage
flying in every direction.
The skin was scratched from my nose.
with her fretted bosom pin; my bran
uew hat was squelched and what little
breath I had remaining was knocked out
Of my body The dog fastened his teeth
into my shoulder to hold on by; I flung
him out Of the window, and springing to
my feet upset the old lady against the
DOrtly conductor who vas just entering
Conductor was riled, and remarked
scorDfu}ly-that gentlemen did not keep
their legs thrust cut into the aisle for
ladies' to stumble over.
Acting upon this hint, I drew my
limbs up suddenly, and let them down
again ; but it was an unfortunate let
down, for one foot went through one of
the old Iady's band boxes, running green
silk bonnet, and smashing bottle of
porter
The lady yelled the conductor looked
squally, and ordered me to give up ny
seat to her. I did so with pleasure, ana
was making the best of ny way to the
rear Of the car, when I was grasped by
the collar, and dragged foreibly back by
the conductor.
"What have you done with the lady'si
dog ?" said be.
"He bit me and / threw him out of
the window"
"Lordy Messy !" cried the old woman,
"my dear, darling, little Fido ! You
brute III be the means of you! Con-
ductor, stop this train IN jump Quit
[ tell you | will ! I won't 90 another
step without Fido II say l won't Let
me alone, you red Bcsed bugger F'
The conductor was holding her By the
arm to prevent her from jumping of,and
4 regular struggle ensued. The lady
was a sturdy parsonage, and she rather
got the victory The official, very red in
the face, and breathing very hard, lay
back in the disputed seat and the lady
grasped the signal-cord at the top of the
car, and gave tremendous pull. In
stantly the alarm whistle sounded-the /
brakes we're put hard doRn-the speed
slackened-the conductor sprang up to
countermaud the signal, but the old lady
held him back.
The train came 10 dead haIt-people |
poured out of the ears in every direction |
cries Of "what's up? 2" "bridge DOWN."
"a collusion 2" etc, ETC., rent the air.
Every one seized his baggage, deter
mined to save that two women who had /
their lovers with them, tainted and
several more were looking around for
places in which to perform this interest
ing feminine feat.
Just as matters were satisfactorily !