The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-11-24
NUMBERS.
SPARE LINES.


A schoolmaster struck "ils'' the other
day, but Il was only Juvenile. :. n. .,-,
The rascal, thinking from bis pointof view.
j Concludes tha. all the world are rascals too.
A horrible bachelor wants to know u ID.
dies In corsets mean staid women. .,o
why is q convalecent dy,rsptio like .
reprieved criminalf Becauso be can't dis;jest
yet. - iHg lHH... .''h! 40
Human existence hinges upon tribes. What
would beauty bc without soap. a,s,
A gentleman is ono who combiness woman's
tenderness with mans courage. ''a'l"' 'l."
Why does a sculptor die harder death than
other men? Because he makes isccs md bosts.
Modssty to the female character is like
saltpetro to beef, impsrting blush while IL
preserves its purity. G. 'H.rfnl - ,'.5''" 20
What 10 the difference between crockery
dealer and cabinet. .makcri One sells tea sets,
and the other settees. "i' 'rii r1Hg. 80 ''o
hConsoliug aphorism--For nation 10 bs
largely In debt is, In the nature Of things,
much 70 its credit. yric zoo Ho.a'o''i ~.
why IL the toothaehe like an unanswerabls
argument? Because II makes people hold
their jaw. ..-...
+ Why may carpenters reasonably believe thcre
is no such thing as stouo7 Because they
never sawit. -... . ..rf. ltu .I. .'IfN
II you should happen to meet friend Ia
need, remember that you do not know how
soon you may need friend. s.s -.rl .
If" Westward the Star of Empire takes In
Whey" how much cheese will bo left Down
East2 ....
Two hard things:-Fint to,talk Of yourself
without being vain; second, to talk Of Others
without slander.
Why is q married man like a candls7 Because
hc sometimes goes out at night when ho ought
rot to. ~ .H. ti" 'e.' ''
In bringinsup children, Il We oppose violence
to violence. passion by passion, we try to put
out the fire with boiling oil. oar61 r''
Tho damsel who was accused Of breaking q
young mans heart, has been bound over
in the bonds Of matrimony to keep tho pieces.
An exchange describing Q celebration, says:
-. Tho procession was very 6ne and nearly
two miles IN length rs also was tho prayer Of
DR.. Perry the chaplain" ~ -. ..,..
/" Mother" said little square.built urchn
about five years old, "why don't the teacher
make ne q monitor sometimesf I can lick
every boy In my class but one." A. '.df'. 1i
"NIan proposes, but God disposes," said 9
pious aunt TO her 0ver.con6dcnt niece. "IAt
man propose to me, II hc dare" was tho 70.
sponse, :" and will dispose Of him according
to my own views. as he suits me-"
All men have the sense Of commlseration.
To extend II to all pain and suffering Il hu.
nanity. All men have the sentiment Of what
IL right to be done. To extend this to all they
do IL equity '..'-.' -''. -
Constant companionship Is not enjoyable
nny moro than constant eating Is q possibility.
We cit too long at the tableo friendship when
We out-sit our appetites for each others
thoughts. 4, ... -. ...i..r. .-irtIol'.. ..
An oiicer In the navy seeing sailor praying
before M engagement, reproiched him with
cowardce. "There is no cowardce in It,"
said he;" was only praying that shots might
be distributed among the officers In the same
proportion as prize money is." .7ns.gl. ".u.t'
A State fair Is queen; an Agricultural fair
Is farnors daughter; . church fair In par.
sons wife: q soldiers fair is the best looking
girl he can get hold Of; charity fair is q 70.
male pauper: and tho most unpopular In tho
universe--boarding house fare. 'a.a'1g ..r.
He who greedily seeks houours and riches,
may be compared to man suffering from thirst
which he tries TO Quench with ths water ofth
sea. The more no drinks the moro ho
wnnts to drink. until ut last he dies Of
drinking Il. t' ''
Genuine ncishborly love knows no dis.
tinction OF persons. It's like tho sun, which
shall warm, but shines and warns by the very
law Of its own being. So thcro u nothing bid.
den from its light and heat. ,.5. d. r..,.
A worthy man who Was hesitating whether
he should marry a woman pious but cross grain
ed, or another who was amiable but not espe.
cially religious. asked his pastors advice upon
the subject. lie advised him to take tho wo.
man he loved, ,remarking:-"Th The grace Of God
can live where you and I can't"
Latest from A. Ward.-Tho last effusion of
the renowned Artenlus We have not yet seen In
the Now York churches recently edited the au.
dience by his unexpected reply to The preach.
cr's text which was as follows :-'' How arc the
Mighty f.llcn1" "Ilow are the Mighty fall
sn3" After short pause Artemus looked up
and said msekly, "rsive Il up"
A subcommitts Of q school werc examining
o clB, In primary school. One Of the com.
mittee TO sharpen up their wits, propounded