The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-03-02
NO. L.
Artemus Ward on Boston

~AlICuIuS IHHS Whites 10 MS dear
Betsy" concerning his late visit to the
t Modern Athins:"
The winder Of my room commands q
exhileratin' view of Copp's Hill, where
Cotton Mather, the father of the Refor-
mers and sich, lies berrid. There is men
even now who worship Cotton, and there
is wimmcn who wear him next their
hearts. But / don't weep for him he's
been dead too lengthy. | amt going to
be absurd, like old MIR. Skllins, in our
naborhood, who is ninety-six years of age,
and gets drunk every lection day, and
weeps bitturly because he hant got no
Parents. He's nice Orphan, he is.
Bunker Hill is over yonder in Charles
ton. In 1775 thrilin' dramy was acted
out over there, in which the ''Warren
Combination played star parts.
Old Dir. Fanuel is dcd, but his Hall is
still in full blarst. This is the Cradle in
which the Goddess of Liberty was rocked,
my Dear. The Goddess hasn't been yery
we'll durin' the past few years, and the
mum rls quack doctors she called in didn't
help her any; but the old gals physicians
now are men who understand their bis
ness, Major generally speakin,' and 1
think the day is near when she'll be able
! to take her three meals day, and sleep
nights as comfbly as in the old time.
The Common is here as ushill; and
the low cuss who called it a Vacant Lot,
and wanted to know why they didn't orna-
ment with some Bildins, Unhappy Out
cast in Naponsit.i
The State House is filed with states
men, bat sum of m wear queer hats
They buy m, l take it, of hatters who
carry or hat stores down stairs in Dock
squars, and whose hats is either ten years
ahead Of the prevailing stile or ten years
behind it-jest as intellectual person
sees fit to think about I had the
pleasure of -talkin with sevril men,
bers Of the Legislator told 'em the
Eye of 1000 ages was onto we American
people of to-day. They seemed deeply
impressed BY the remarks, and wanted to
know if had seen the Crate origin.
Harvard College This celebrated in
stitootion CT iearnin' is pleasantly situated
in the bar-room of Parker's in School
street, and has Poopils from all over the
country.
[ went over to Lexington yes My.
boosum hcye with sollim emotions. "&
this" said to man who was driyin'
yoke of oxen, ''this is were our revolu-
tionary forefathers asserted their indep-
endence and split their blud Classic
ground"
"Wall," the man said, otis good for
white beans and potatoes, but as regards
raisin' wheat, faint worth dam. But
hav' you seen the Crate origin ?"
l returned in the hoss cars, part way.
\ pooty girl in spcctacles sot near me,
and was tellin' young man how much
he reminded her Of q man she used to
know in Waltham. Pooty soon the young
man get out, ard, smilin' a seductiv' mar
ner, l said to the girl in spectacles, Don't
I remind you of somebody you used to
know 2"
Yes" she said, "you do remind me of
one man, but he was sent to the peniten-
iary for stealin' bar'l Of mackerel-he
died there, on concluded you amt him."
I didn't pursoo the conversation. | only
heard her silvery voice once more durin'
the remainder Of the jerney Turnin' to
a respectable lookin' femal of advanced
summers, she asked her if she had seen
the Crate origin.
We old chaps; my dear are apt to forgit
that it is some time siucc we was infants
and ct lite food Nothin' of further int
rist took place on the cars except coloret
gentleman, total stranger to me, asked
if I'd lend him my diamond Brestpin to
wear to funeral in South Boston. [ told
him | wouldn't-not purpuss.
Altho' fur from the prahayries, there
is abundants of wild game in Bos-
ton, such as quails, snips, PLAYER and
Poops.
ment to have allooded to the Crate
Origin in this letter, but | heven't seen
it. Mr. Reeyeer, whose tavern l stop at,
informs me that it can be distinctly heard
through smoked glass in his natiy town
in New Hampshire any clear day. But
settin' the Crate Origin aside, (and indeed
| don't think [ heard it mentioned all
the time was there), Boston is one Of the
grandest, surelootedest, clear r-headest,
comfortablest cities on the globe. Onlike
every other large city l was ever in, the
most of the hackmen don't seem to hav
bin speshally intcaded by natur for the
Burglary professions, and it's about the.
only large city | Know Of where you don't
seem to have bin speshally intended by
natur for the Burglary profession, and
it's about the only large city know of
where you don't enjoy brilliant oppor-
tunity Of bcin' swindled in sum way, from
the risin Of the Sun to the goips down
thereof. There's | say, loud and con-
tinnered applause for Bostonf
a ounty-jumper deserted from Gall
lop's Island, Boston harbor, last week, by
unlonsino hie irons 4 Girl who yisitad