Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1865-08-24
PIC-NICS,

has sensible article on pic-nics. Some o
his illustrations will answer for any meridian
and we take slice of his entertaining dish
Get packed in a car like box of oranges,
! and smotbcred in white muslin until you get
to the grove, where you will arrive in Il state
of pcrspiration and bliss.
Don't be particular about your own basket.
Baskets usually get mixed
lake the biggest one YOU can get. The
| ladies always fill their baskets
! When you get in the grove. you are ex-
pectcd to declare it is the delightfullest spot
you ever saw
| Select pretty teacher, and explore the
shadiest recesses, and pour out your soul.
When its all poured out, ask the young
lady if she won't take swing
! She will
Sawyer has sung of " Swinging in the
Lane" but don't .hink he ever tried swing
ing in . grove.
| did.
was kept at it for three hours and a quar-
ter, swinging all the girls that came along
| 1t is splendid exercise, beats Burnham'
gymnasium. double trapczo and all |
hay'nt got over it yet.
An old lady thcn proposed that I should
climb an apple tree to extricate her johnny.
who had got his trousers involved in branch
about thirty feet up, and was hung up like a
sign Of the golden fleece.
Told the old lady to wait till he got rioe
and he'd drop of his own accord
Old lady said | was BRUTE and hadn't
got the feelings of mother.
She went for the man who kept the Park
and sold lager. He brought ladder and
restored the aspiring youth to the fond em-
brace of his maternal relative.
Whercupon she spanked him for tearing
his trousers.
Which served him right.
We then took dinner.
Pretty teacher spread her pocket handker-
chief for table cloth and unpackcd the ra-
tions
The rations had got somewhat mixed.
The sardine box had bastoi and ''struck
lie" The hucklcbcrry pie had amalgamated
with the pickles, and the cherries had resolved
themselves into JAM
But it was so charming to cat your dinner
on the grass beneath the outrageous shade
of the noble trees.
So the pretty teacher observed as I was
squeezing the lemons in the dinner kettle to
make the festive beverage, which neither
cheers nor inebriates, but frequently stomach
aches.
| was startled by piercing shrek from,
the pretty teacher, and dropped half LEM
on partly squeezed and flew to the rescue.
\ 'horrid bug" descending from the um-
brag"ous foliage previously mentioned, had
alighted on her alabastcr neck.
L dispatched the creature, and we proceed
ed to dispatch our repast
But insect horrors thickened.
chronological specimens Of many varieties
ntruded upon cur banquet, got involved in the
pie, and met very watery grave in the lem
on.
Pretty teacher turned pale and lost her ap-
petite.
| grew desperate. As the reckless insects
wouldn get cut of the way, l left them to
their fate
/ eat several indescribable specimens with
my sandwiches, and drank spider in glass
Of lemonade
survived it.
| don't know how it agreed wish the spider.
After dinner we resumed our festive sports.
We played Copenhagen.
Which is very hilarious sport
1t consists of chasing girls under ropo,
tearing their clothes and kissing them.
The girls appear to like it.
The dominic who had been surveying our
sports with benign satisfaction. proposed to
improve the occasion in oratory
Just as he was about to hold forth, a PROV
ldentia thunder shower extinguished him and
saved us the infliction.
We took refuge under seventy nine shed, !
wisely provided for such contingencies, and |
ovcrfowed the rcfrcshment shanty until the !
shower dried up.
Groves are not Immediately improved by |
showers. and the grass being wet and the .
leaves dropping, our festivities were dampen-
We began % experience the remorsc which
olows dissipation.
Pretty teacher was in tears she had ruin
ID her dress by accidentally sitting down in
| currant pie.
The ice-crcam had all melted the straw
berries we're gone.
We started in wiltcd procession for the
ars.
The conductor being a liberal man gave us
larger lease of pleasure than We bargaincd
or and kept us waiting an hour.
When got home Mrs. O,Lanus wanted to
now if I'd been to funeral. went to bed
arly and dreamed all night that | was strug.
ling desperately with gigantic spider who
al carried off the pretty teacher and hung
er up by her waterfall on the top-most limb
t big tree.
Some people like pic-nics, others like straw
erry festivals, but for my part, give me
berty or give me death.
Yours, perspiringly,
CoRRY O'LANUs. ,