The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-09-01
AND PROPRIETOR.
NUMBER SO.
Spare Lines.

. What couundrums arc always at home 7
Those that arc never found out.
Do not believe ono.half you hear. but
make sure you believe oil you say.
A friend has dog 70 very serious that
even his tail has not tho least bit OF wsg
about Il.
Many woman's tongue runs 90 fast that
its owner gets out Of breath in trying to keep
up with II.
The stable thief who madc 90 clean o
sweep chat he left no trace behind, Is wanted
BY tho "pcrlico."
Il is not we'll to pray "lead us not into
tomptation.' and then leave temptation in
the way Of Others.
Don't snub tho poor negroes; you have
only to look in their faces to SEQ how awful
ly they have been snubbed by nature.
Tho Hartford Times argues that tho negro
ID inferior to the white man, because tho for
msr 10 never known to havo tho delirium
tremens. r
What more natural than that sentimental
young ladies. when they change their condi-
tion Of single blossedness, coasiDg to bo PEN
sive. should be expensive!
A London merchant, latoly advertising for
q clerk "who could bear confinement" re-
ceived an answer from ono who had been
"upwards Of seven years in jail"
..You do wrong to fish on Sunday" said
clergyman to a lad ho sawso doing. "well
sir, replied the boy, "it can't bo much
harm, for ain't cotched nothink."
A rich Philadelphia contractor, In severe
Ct Of the gout. told his physician he suffered
the pains Of the wicked place. Tho doctor
ooolly answered, "whas, slrcady'"
"No man." said Mrs. Partington, twas
better calculated to judge Of pork than my
husband was; he know what good hogs were,
ho did, for he had been brought up with them
from childhood"
The Newburyport Herald says Of girls,
"They can bc lady-like. intelligent and pleas
Ing without schools; but they never can be
agreeable wives, good mothers, and happy in
their homes without knowledge Of household
duties" -....r.
How long Eve, tho frst woman, lived, we
do not know. It is O curious fact that, In
sacred history, the age, death and burial Of
only one woman, Sarah, tho wife Of Abra-
ham, Is distinctly noted. Woman's ago, ever
sinoe. appears not 10 have been subject for
history or discussion.
Josh Billings says: "I think, after all.
that tho Tndia-rubber kind Of virtue, that
will bend and stretch, just little. and then
Hy right back to It's place. is safer than the
icicle virtue, that is pretty sure to melt, un.
less you keep on the north sido Of tho barn
all tho timc; and whom II once melts, that
is the last Of 1t.
In one Of our courts latoly man who was
called upon to appear as witness could not
be found. On the Judge asking whero he
was, an elderly gentleman roso up, and with
much emphasis, said, "Your Honor, hos
gone." "Goue gone!" said tho Judge,
"whoro is no gouo3" "That cannot In
form you," replied tho communicative gen-
tlomau, "bus he IL dead" This Is consider
Cd the best guarded answer on record.
An ill.lookiug fellow was asked how no
could account for Natures forming him 20
ugly. Nature was not to blame" said ho,
for when was two months old I was con
sidcrcd tho handsomest child In tho neigh.
borhood, but my nurse, 10 revenge herself
upon my parents for some faucled injury at
their hands, ono day srnpped me a'cay for
mother boy belonging TO friend Of hers,
whose child was rather plain.looking."
A clergyman called on poor parishioucr,
whom no found bitterly lauentiug tho loss Of
IN only son. q boy Of about four or Eve years
,f ago. In the hope Of consoling tho aiilict-
d woman, he remarked 70 her that "ono 20
young codd not have committed any very
,risvous sin and that no doubt the child
vas gone TO Heaven" "Ah, sir" said tho
creature, "but Tommy was 20
,hy-and thoy arc oil strangers thero!"