The day book. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 1857-1867, 1865-09-01
HUMOROUS.
scene ON a Third Avenue Car


t1 scene ON a Third Avenue Car
--i Time, midday scene red car on Third
avenue; twelve bank clerks going UP town
for dinner, seats filled fshwoman in the mid
1ssadle of the car, balancing hsr basket ladys
- white cambria two drunken soldiers asleep
r.. i, wedged between family of little girls, and
Il an hostler standing in the draft 50 that he
$50 gives nice edge to the bare drift of breeze
g.. floating through.
g. First bank clerk-"Phew guess we're
passing tan yard.
l7y Second bank elerk--"Nol we're riding in
vat" fLr-
-.,t Little grl-"Ma, feel sick; want to get
out"
Drunken soldier unessily wriggles in bis
seat, and seems to be aware in his sleep that
be has got something between his skin and
49,, bis shirt "2e silaoa9 -
-TG}i,t Lady in cambria looks profoundly melan-
eholy, and quite strains her neck In the effort
lias'ato get her head out of the window. ~
r..,, Third bank clerk-"Iheres Dutchman
aboard laden with Limberger kase "a
gss Fourth bank clerk--"Hes always aboard
ff,, when ana. believe the driver is the man
io 5000 Little girl" Maj I'm sick; let us get out
l3s 90 Hostler--"This is little wuss than case
a1f dstala Praps the car carries stable litter at
e night" Hs's,.A 4osl
.-a Little girl-"Mal shall cry. Something
bites mel" Fe tf.
hands to their noses.
.g4, Little grl-"Mal Somebody tramps on me!
-t Drunken soldier (wakening)-T want to
'4 7a 60 to Andersonville again that paradise
to this" af s{t7@
g. on s"Pooa YoRIcK l1---"Why 2" exclaimed the
schoolmaster to Hammill, the champion
N rover, "why will you thus make our noble
Hudson golgotha ?"
1'% ia golgotha, sir" replied the mysti6ed
~ champion --fs,I'a
3 = s 9 s. "Surely quoth the schoolmaster 'sDo
sia 4 you not make it the place Of the scull ?"
,s4pott Champions answer not noted.
,@> Ell The Berkshire county Mass. Eagle, moved
by the list Of crimes of various kinds appear
ing in its local column, very concsely re-
marks: sIf the devil isn't at large now, he
never was; he is continually moving up and
saa9 ways as he goesl not only seeking whom he
81 g body. o7 + sg2 .,. i AK, p.
The baboon, or s'wild man" belonging to the
- =" Cincinnati museum recently escaped from the
gr,35 upper room where he was confined and drop
s90ba ped quietly down three stories into the yard
IL saat the back; The proprietor Of second hand
.15d deiothng store near bysswas presently almost
frightened out Of his wits by what be took to
be an imp of darkness trying on pair Of
$50 kerseynaere fnexpressbles. Here the ape was
recaptured. q . u o. r
A California, editor, speaking of complaints
.gs y by bis readers that he don't publish all the
boa ILLEGAL iteras they desire to see, Justly observes
THAT it is often their own fault in not sending
ss'ldl The facts. Hesays he 'dont like to publish
,Si3sa birth after the child is weaned, marriage
after the honey moon is over, or the death Of
man after his widow has married again"
a.t.s, That will answer for other ATTITUDES.
An anaconda has escaped from menagerie
near Port Washington, Ohio, and is roaming
ia about that locality, to the conservation of the
farmers, who think it is thirty-two feet long
1"atid as large as stove-pipe accuse it of milk
''TN ing their COWS, and offer thousand dollars re-
Is ward for his capture.
-'s 4 IT is said to be satisfactorily demonstrated
that every time wife scolds her husband
she adds a wrinkle to her face It is
thought the announcement of this fact will
have the most satisfactory effect, especially as
lane it is understood that every time wife smiles
gon her husband, it will remove one of the old
iA -aa wrinkles. 8
'' A preacher once selected the following words
for his text: /" The world, the flesh and the
2971devil" Observing that he would arrange each
II under its proper head--he would commence
upon the Aesh pass lightly over the world,
low andhasten as fast as he could to the deua.
q" pa9a -sYoi have been sorely tried" said SYM
pathizing friend Of Joe Crowdon, weeping
iss4iover the coffin of his third wife. 'Yes," re-
spOnueu Tue UoftsVeQ one, Il nave always
0nM had the dreadfulest luck with women"
An elephant escaped from menagerie in
indianapolis, and broke into graveyard, and
= ',sx destroyed gravestonss monuments shrHbbe~
0Eia ~, &e.l He was finally secured without in
juring any one7 5isfs1 a ,s 6s3
sIlIm rIhe following are among the notices put up
at q petroleum town in Western Pennsylva-
,SA MIA, "No talking with the chambermaid; fare
as high as at any other house; not responsible
a boots left in the hail. sardines admitted
20 O. 4 One of the latest amusing fctions repre-
d. % gents Jenkins the Phoenix bank defaulter, as
greatly depressed in spirits at the insignif-
canoe Of his fraud compared with that of
aaI Kstchun.
"A minister at a Gimp meeting said, eff the
lady with the blue hat, red hair and cross
eyes, dop'tstpp5 talking she will be pointed
.3.h cut to the congregation.
A driver of a coach in Texas stopping to
t get some. water for the Young ladies in the