The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1865-11-02
Test Of Affection.

menta'ist, residing in Hanover street,
the narrowing suspi.
! ciou that his wife was not 90 psssieua,el,
tvua VI ttm as ,ooy ., gooo s,ss:y.
should be; and, to put tho matter to 1
fair trial, he hit on = little stratagem
which he put into practice the other day,
with the result hereafter to be detailed.
lie took suit of black clothes, aud
composed al etiigy of himself by stufEng <
the garments with . qnau,ity of straw
which had lately been discharged from
an old bed. lIaving suspended this fig
ure to rafter III the garret by means of
a piece Of clothes line, he ensconced him.
self behind pile of rubbish in the garre.
to watch the effect
After while, his daughter came up
after jumping rope, and eau ght a
glimpse Of the suspended figure She
ran down the stairs screaming,-
20 mother, mother! daddy has hung
himself"
Now for it, thought Felix, in am-
buscsde. ave shall have u touching
scene presently
"Huug h'mself!' he heard Mrs. San.
hope repeat as she walked ielsurely up
stairs. He hasn't got spunk enough for
such thing or he would have done it
long ago. Vol, believe he has done
It, however, she continued, as she came
in view of Felix's straw representatives,
"Moll,' 60 the little girl, Il think he
ought to be cut down. You had better
go into the kitchen and get kuitc, my
dear; but don't 60 down too fast, or you
might fall aud bur, yourself Stsy,
forgot. There's no knife 10 the kitchen
sharp enough You can go around to
MIR Holmes, tho shoemaker, in Marshall
street he's only two squares off-snd
ask him TO lsud US his pairing knife tel
him to whet it before he sends it. And,
Molly ~hila~yau aIs ia The ~nsighb bor-
hood, you can stop at Aunt Sukcy's, suo
ask how the baby is. Aud, Molly, you
can stop ut the grocery store as you come
back, and get pound OF sugsr Poor
Felix y sighed Mrs S,anhops, when her
daughter had departed, IL hope ven get
him down before the vital spark tx
tinct; for these buryings ere very
troublesome, and cost money. lie want
ed to put an end to himself too and
think | ought TO let him have his own
way for once 10 his life, lie used to ssy
| Was always crossing him. | wish he
hadn't spoiled that new clothes line; an
old rope nigh. have answered his pur-
pose
Here 4 voice which sounded like thai,
of the supposed suicide, broke in on Mrs
stsnhope's sol'lequy,--
"You contcuud.d j zebeI, III be the
death of you ~
Mrs. Stauhope thinking this must of
course be ehostly exclamation, uttered
Wild scream, and attempted to escape
down the narrow staircase. Felix, start.
ing from his place Of concealment, gave
chase, Mrs Stanhops stumbled midway
on the flight of stairs, and Mr. Stanhope,
having just reached Ler aud made y
grasp at her disheveled hair as it stream
ed backward, the amiabIe partners were
precipitaied to the bottom together
Both we're badly bruised, and cries Of
the lady raised the ncignborhvod Felix
was arrested for making a disturbance,
and prac,icing on the tender sensibIlities
Of his wife lie was recognised 10 Two
hundred dollars, and jocularly proposed d
his suspended effisy as his surety; but
he found. to his sorrow, "straw BALI
was not accepted to the police court.