The New era. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1865-1871, 1865-10-19
" MOTHER
E.rfTacfs from q Fashionable Uo-
mans Diary.

Il Is very FOOLISH 10 tlllIlk 50, KNOW
but then those fashionable Hamiltons
will be here. Mrs; Hamilton dresses
with such taste, and mother will wear
that old. old silk. I almost wish she
had decided to come the week after-Pll
write and ask her if she can't put it off
as we'll as not.
My Wretchedness is unspeakable-a
world of misery has fallen upon me like
IA cloud. am stepped in sorrow to my
very lips.
Oh! my mother! my mother!
Life is alternately light and shade,
they tell me. Alas! my life is all a
shadow, and l seem creeping slowly
down its long vista, a reproach to myself
and those love.
My mother is dead. And I-oh!
heartless!.sent her such letter! Every
thing is blank, blank around me. MY
heart sinks-oh! that l, too, could die!
The splendors by which am surround
ed mock me cruelty. The burden on my
conscience tells me 1 have neglected her
that have been ashamed of her dear,
woodworking hands, her homeliness,
her want OF knowledge pertaining to
this heartless world.
How carefully she brought me up
my widowed mother-with her slender
means! How she denied herself COM
forts that she might minister to my little
wants! How proud she was of what
they called my beauty! It is faded now.
And Ito think of her slender ward
robe, her close Quaker caps, her UNI
polished language, her old-fashioned
only heartfelt prayer l have breathed
since the days Of my childhood.
All is blank! The house seems like
vast tomb. Its splendor wearies me-
Oh! could / but fall ON my mothers
bosom once and breathe out my sorrow
and my penitence there! Oh! that 1
could see her smile -again-Wind my
arms around her neck, feel her warm
embrace.
Mother! word that I have abused,
maternal heart that | have forsaken,
wounded, now forever at rest i'll the
grave.
On THE 18th.
l have seen my mother. Not soon
shall forget that meek, white face, and
the lips, SO mute THE gentle lips always
ready to bless me. The eyes were dim
that saw nought but perfection in me.
l have been to the little cottage where
[ was born. Doubly dear seemed every
part of that old house. The floor i'll the
wide kitchen was white and sanded Just
the same as when | was last there. But
over opposite in the pleasant parlor she
lies placidly.
Dreary sight! They wonder at my
excess of grief. They would not, knew
they my self-reproaches, the crushing
weight upon my spirit. AS / stood by
that coffin, heard again the "God bless
my daughter" 1t was murmured thro'
smiles and tears ON the morning of my
wedding day. remember the sad fore
w l. iI,x \, &c
pers in my heart when the rich stranger
sought the favorite child, my hayward
self. How she implored me to be hum
BILE! to bear my exaltation meekly. Can
1t be that she will never speak to me a.
gain? So white that brow, so stony, so
cold!
On THE 18th.
They have laid her away. They have
buried my living heart with her. TWAS
in storm. The rain dripped from the
windows, theturfwas soaked with water.
The little white church, where she has
led me so often by the hand, looked gray
through the mist. The very birds chirp-
edmOurnfuly under their wet roof leaves.
Black, and oh so fearful, the grave yawn-
ed at my feet. Terrible! thought she
might not be dead, and l laid my hand
again upon her forehead. Cold! icy cold!
l shrieked alOud-I could not restrain
my feelings.
That dear, gray-haired minister! Ser
want OF Jesus for nearly fourscore and
ten years, he pitied me.
Touchingly he spoke Of her sweet nes-
ignation, adding that as she died she
sang.
Jesus can make dying bed
Feel soft as downy pillows are.'
He told me, with unsteady voice, how
tenderly she had spoken of her children
of me-far away, drowned in the pleas
ures of wealth.
l sobbed aloud.
Nor could look as they lowered the
coffin. l shut my eyes, and felt, for a
moment, as if II never cared to open them
again.
When looked up, ten thousand pris-
matte hues flashed upon my sight. The
sun had burst from the thick clouds, and
every round jewel OF the rain caught a
tint OF beauty from his glowing rays.
And there shall be no night there
and they need no candle, neither the