Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1865-07-07
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OrWhen is a young lady like apoach-
cr2 When she has her hair in u net.
TWhat bank officer does he who
boasts Of being kissed by pretty girl re-
scmble? The receiving teller.
.0IWhen a woman has ceased to be
attractive by her simple symmetry of
form, she may be fascinating by her sweet
womanhood.
WHAT flower of beauty shall |
marry? said handsome young spend
thrift to his misery governor. To which
the governor replied with a grim smile,
"Mari-gold!
-"What fool r'said Patty Prm,
when she heard of the capture of jeff.
Davis, "of course the men would all run
after him ii he was dressed as woman,
aud he was sure to be c,ught."
UrA Boston storekecpcr the laconic
advertisement ~ boy wanted" The
next morning on opening the store, ne
found little urchin in basket, labelled,
Here he is.
The eldest son Of President Tyler
was Bobby" the eldest son Of President
Lincoln is Bob" and the eldest son Of
President johnson is Bob" too. Three
Prince Roberts in quarter ola century.
--''My gracious :" exclaimed an ur.
chin in New York, on bchoding an En-.
glish carriage with three footmcn in liv-
cry,"wcll,if it don't take three Britishcrs
to make one niger!
An old gentleman walked down
Broadway N. Y, the other day, attract
ing much attention because he wore his
hair in net. 1t was his own, too which
is more than all the ladies can say. This
is the first he waterfall on record
Pady's description of fiddle cannot
be beat sit was the shape Of ii turkey
aad the size OF u goose he turned ii
over on its belly and rubbed its backbone
with stitch, and och by St. Patrick how
It did squale."
At meeting of the Maine Con-
gregational Charitable Society, the fol-
lowing officers were elected for the ensu
ing year: Dca. Samuel Adams OF Cas-
tine President Rev. Sewall Tenney of
Ellsworth, Vice President ; Rev. Alfred
K. Ives of Castine. Treasurer John II.
Jarvis, ESQ, of Castine, Auditor.
LlrE-How small a portion Of our
life that We really enjoy. In youth We
We are looking forward to things that are
to come in old age We are looking back
wards to things that are past; in man
hood, although we appear to be more
occupied in things that are present, yet
even that is absorbed in vague determina-
tons to be vastly happy on some future
day, when we have time.
THE LADIES AND THE q ENTLEMEN.-- At
recent festive meeting, married man.
who ought to have known better, propos-
ed: The ladies-the beings who divide
cur sorrow, double our joys, and treble
our expenses" Upon which a lady pro-
posed: 1.-The conference.-the sensitive
individuals who divide our time, double
our cares, and treble our troubles" The
married man didn't stop to hear any
a-ore.
We learn that avery valuable i'm.
provement in safety matches has been dis
covered which may quite revolutionizc
the whole match business Certain
geatIemen of this city have control of the
invention and contemplate starting man.
ufactory here. The Improvement is de-
cidedly in advance of anything yet pro-
ddoed in the match line, and We do not
sec hoGv the enterprise can prove otherwise
than successfull.-l Portland Aryus.
IL HoRN.--One day last week, a
wei!-dressed, handsome man, with an un-
-ruistakaole air of salt water about him,
was staAng at the bar Of the St. james
cooking lovingly at one of J0es excelsior
drinks, Just manipulated and showed over
10 him. Second gentleman came in, stop
ped suddenly, and looked at No. as if
he knew him. Then he hailed: beg
pardon, sir. but haven't you been round
the iIorn?" "Ay, ay, shipmate, more'n
4 million Of EN-. Hold on a second, and
yauli SEQ me round this one
a convention might be held to
decide upon the length ola cail-how
much etiquette requires to be made, and
how much good udgemelt shall withhold.
Emerson thinks that friendly calls should
be strictly limited to ten minutes. Those
that are not friendly, but merely design
ed to dawdle away an hoar in frivolous
conversation, could be dispensed with al
together. Calls upon editors should not
exceed five minutes in length, unless you
are particularly requested to stay longer.
Go5sEnERY ToAsr.-My dcar sister
sufferers, whenever you begin to pick and
peck, and seek out some cause Of quarrel
with every dish on your breakfast table,
simply because your appetite is at fault,
l pray you resort to my fayorite peace
maker aud if you shall fail to find it all
you desire, it will be because of your un-
rcasonablencss, and then you can abandon
it you know, having always your variety
and fastidiousaass to fall back upon.
Order cook, or what is better, set
about and make il yourself. a pooseberry