Daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1865, 1865-05-17
sUmmARY sLmMRR1MGs.


/. When you go out Of town, resolve to |
sink the shop. This may be a difficult
thing to do IL you have been talking shop |
all your life; therefore, suppose you try |
the experiment for q little while Of not /
talking at all. 1t will he PIsssiU g variety,
and may give you the reputation Of a great |
thinker.
2. Southern shareholders and city officials
have brought the term gentleman into bad
Odor. Therefore don't call yourself any
thing of the sort. Say at once that you
are lOafer; stick your feet into the win
dove and spit. It caves no end of trouble,
and also enables you to fraternize easily
with large and valuable portion of the |
Indigenous population. Ru
3. Don't say you know an alderman, lest |
people lock up their plated spoons; or an |
editor, lest they think you are cOrrespoh |
dent and going TO put them into his paper |
Country people are so conCeited); or an |
arliet, lest some donkey set you down for
dissipated Bohemian.
4 As general rule it is safest not 10
know anybody or anything; then you can
not be suspected of knowing more than
your neighbors, which is very anti-republi-
can. 49,
3. On starting for the country you will
be pushed what to do With your sSnndav.
go'tO-meetiDg" clothes Il you leave them
behind, the moths, which, as an ubserysnt
foreigner has lately remarked, really seem
to like cAmphor, cedar aud tobacco, will
most probably make away With them (; If
you take them with you, you will waste
their sweetness on the desert natives, who
will moreover be annoyed by your appear.
ing in better rig than their own. In this
dilemma, your best plan is TO have no
good clothes. Buy your hRbiliments at a
l1nn,Rhnn and NhoV
will stick together. Thus you will have
money "a great point noW.asday) and
avoid the dangerous reputation Of being
"stuck up" -
6. However bad any food may be, dom
complain OF 1t. Remember that an Amer.
lean citizen has no right to find fault With
anything, and that il your landlord CHS.
els you he lie only following the example Of
most great railroad and steamboat compa.
MES. Remember, also, that Il tho sou o
your loins and the daughter of your bosom
ever know enough to keep q hotel, or tax,
poarders, they will be able to impose upor
tho public in like manner. Therefors. I
the vianjs offered you are utterly unuAta
Bile, all you have TO do is not to eat them
By fasting for three days you will probkbl,
become hungry enough to eat IN old boo
without sauce, or n cat without stoppibg I,
cut the claws Of. a.
Z. You don't go in to the country to- aat
else you would be wonderfully disappoiut
ed. Nor do yoH 60 TO dress; therefor,
dFess as little as possible. If Il is hot
Walk about in your shirt and continuation
Ike the plain farmers of the vicinity. g,
barefoot II the roads are not too RraVeIly
II saves expense, and makes You q fayoPit,
With the ladies. $50 =
8. When you are at Rome do as the Ro
mans do, however vain they may be. Don
form TO the manners and customs of m,
people about you, provided such eonforT,
ity does not lead StrAiRht to the hospiLa
or the penitenIiary. Thus. If the fhor.
igtnes drink whisky warranted 70 XIII Al
90 yards, You may decline joining them or
the plea OF heiug subject TO pericarditis. al
q total temperance society; but ri they
habttuSllY speak bad grammar, bV AZ
msaus do the same. L lie an innocent
concession to their pFejudicas. and had
6nghsh ts nowhere forbidden iuyscripture
~ DO chsertHl, be kind, be considerate
VI course you have no occasion fofithesf
virtues In town. They might interfere Nh
your business and deFoESte from vDnF In,
dependence. But 10 the coOntrT Ghor,
nobody knows you, you may IndnIVe .vonr-
selves and Others in these unusual iprao.
tioes, paw
10. Itis beat not to have any poliess a,
religion then You cannot offend persons 81
:he opposite ones - -
H. Never argue, unless you arc going
through course OF BlntiOg, and even theT
. walk of ten miles is better. AFGumsn
never does anybody else any good, and 4
viii do you none unless y0u ara Maid for Il
Leave lite the editors aud politicians and
hWyers' who are paid for it. : =