, 1865-04-14
NUMBER Is.


A correspondent of the Cincinnati Commercial,
writing from Parkersburgh, Va, gives the fol-
lowing description of the all oil-peryading ma
MIA in that locality:
alaIf you want to be bored, come to the oil rei
gion. Here s the place where you bore and get
bored. 1t is nothing but Oil from morning till
night-oiI paper-boiled oil-people talk,
write, sleep and snore oil. Ask man how far
it is to Charleston:
"Twenty-sx miles from Slabsides oil spring"
'tWhat time does the steamer leave for Wheel
ing ?D
"Just as soon as Slocums oil is lOaded3'
| ''What was the fight about yesterday
"Oil"
aJenkins married an oil well yesterday-or.
just as good-married Miss Snifkins, whose
father stuck 'ile' few days ago" ~.
@SniGxins hadn' time to go to his wife's fa-
neral last Tuesday for fear his ile would run
over"
! Preachers preach about the oil being poured
upon the troubled waters, and say this is the
very spot where the oil for the occasion comes
from. ur
slept on four barrels of oil last night-eyery
hotel full. The entire country looks greasy,
people have oily tongues, and your al-factory
nerves are strongly impressed with the terrible
stencil Everybody has territory for sale, and
there are plenty of fools and their money" who
anticipate their realization Of the Baron Nun
chausen stories that are afoat
! Every sharper has map Of the region, and
can tell a stranger exactly where the incest spot
is-he has been there, known the place, but is
! short of funds-has no personal interest in the
matter not he, indeed. But in mere matter of
| friendship advises you to buy there, and then DO
what he is doing-bore, and oil must come,
Men seem crazy, victims are plenty. Seeking
! to become suddenly rich many tolerably we'll
to-do but over saugune individual goes his pile
and loses all he has, and sneaks off few strike
! lie and become millionaires; not one in hum
dred but get their fingers terribly burned
A Trick OF THE TRADE.-It is well known to
the purchasers of dry goods that cotton cloth
made within the past two or three years is much
inferior in quality to that manufactured before
the war and consequently there is a great de-
mand for sold cotton One of the tricks of
the trade is, to take low-priced cotton, wetting
! it to take out the sizing, and drag 1t about the
| store so as to give it the appearance Of age
This fdoctoredY cotton is then placed in the
window, labelled as genuine old cotton, slightly
damaged, and for sale at reduced prices No
better advertisement than this can be found,
and the CONSEQUENCE is that the ''slightly dam
age" article sells rapidly, while that which re-
mains in the state in which it comes from the
manufacturer, though offered at the same price;
is untouched. The purchasers go away beiev-
ing that they have made bargains, and the
/ shreWd shopkeeper sets to work and prepares
another lot of cloth for display.-BoSton Ira1-
4 etler.
1 BoTH SATIsFIED.--A man blythe name ofLand
living in Illinois, was presented by his wife, ofa
\ fine boy They had a long quandary as to what
\ they would call him. The man, being rabid
secessionist, was wont to call him after south
/ ern General, while on the other hand the wife,
| being union, was desrous that her offspring
should be named after some union general. They
finally patched up compromise, thewife to give
the first name, and the husband the second, to
! be an initial. The wife was not long in making
up her mind and christened him Dix Land, as
she said Gen. Dix was her fayorite among the
| union heroes. Her husband, who owas somewhat
a wag said his choice among the rebels was
Early and the boys name should be Dix Z. Land.
The wife wited. a
...... ....t.a.... ...
! CAL1FoRN1A Casa curious case is before
the Irish Courts Mr. r. B. Tedford, surgeon
practicing at San Francisco, and Miss Sarah
Skillington, lady living in Ireland, had for
| some time carried on a correspondence, which,
it is alleged resulted in the lady informing the
! gentleman that if he came 20 Ireland she would
! marry him. He accordingly disposed of his
business and crossed the Atlantic; but, after ALL
the lady refused to fulfil the promise. He died,
it is said of "agony of mind, and his e1ecu-
tor has commenced an action against Miss Skill
! lington for breach of promise Of marriage
Illustrated London News. -.
CoAL OH WONDERS Cherry Run, near
Oil Creek, in Titusfille petroleum region, where
the derlicks stand as plenty as trees in the
| woods and speculation runs crazy, the price OF
hay is $50 a ton They charge SO a week for
letting horse stand under shed without feed
One flowing we'll there yields 100 barrels Of oil
a day and it sells on the spot at $40 a barrel,
making daily product Of 81, ,000Mor more than
$4,000 900 year from that one we'll Owners
of "oil lots" ask twenty-five million dollars for
i4L. 11Fo snbo fosrr ann
as cheap as wild lands in the West
! r.. .7...'
IT has been said that every man has at least
one good point in his character. gentleman
travelling On Sunday, was obliged to stop to have
one of the shoes of his horse replaced. The fur
rier was just going to church, but suggested to
the traveller that Jem Harrison might be found
at home at the next forge. This proved to be
true. and the rustic who FED the gentleman
horse to the spot exclaimed 'Well must say
that for Jem for it is the only good point about
him, he do ae0er 90 to ehurch'
aThat was horrible affair-the murder Of
ofDean, and the sealing up of his remains in a
tin boxl'
''What DeanY ~ asked half dozen voices at
once.
4 "Sar Dean"
One of tha rebel officer prisoners at tJohhson's
lSlanu mas given DlIOh " " DounNAl-b DNJ'.. -
E says the Sandusky Register. The Register in
/ forms us that the 'oficer is undoubtedly a wo-
man"
Woman is like iyy-the more you are ruined
the closer she clings to you. vile bachelor
adds: aIvy is like woman-the closerit chngs
, to YOU the more you are ruined Poor rule
! ! that won't work both ways. , .e
Why was Sampson the greatest actor that ev-
er appeared on the stage? Because he brought
down the house WREN the audience was COM
posed entirely Of his enemies
/ Some hypocritcal prayers in church are in
tended to cheat the congregation-oths the
: Lord. r.
An exchange says the most popular agricul-