The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1865-12-27

to be carried up to the polls alongside
nv nigger-tlv course no democratic
oils seekerIwood hoomiliRte himself a
treatin niger afore an elecshun-it
bein Harticle NV faith withus never to
1t. ,y...5'7.iI II .r - q 81 I = IA
Therefore, bein helpless, and resolvfn
never to submit, the heft NV the democ-
rasy determined to emigrate in body
to some land where the Anglo .SacksOn
Good rool-where there was no mixterI
of the disgustin African. Mexico was
the country chosen,i and methawt the
entire party, in one solid column,
marched there. Our departure was q
ovation. The people on our roote wuz
all dressed in white as token NV joy,
and from every house hung banners
with inscriptions onto en- sich ez:
u Snow is our hen-roostS safe!"" 4
"Canada on its way to Mexico ~
!. HPoor MeNico--we bewail thy fate"
Our march 1resembled verymuch that
Nv the children NV Isrel, Our noses
breath the piller NV smoke by day.
lion our arrival TO Mexico, the natives
of that country, struck probably with
awe at the majestic and flamfn| express
sion NV our rconntenanceS,h S,haStilygather-
ed up their linen and silver spoons, and
hosses and sieh, and retreated to the
mountains. 1t wus kompliment to
us that them ez hadn't anything re-
mained. ~ ~
Finally we reached plain where we,
the modern children ny Isrel, decided
to rename, and NV coarse the fust thing
to do wuz to form a Government.
Methawt Fernnndy Wood, NV New
York, was chosen viva voce, ez Presi-
dent, and he stepped forered to hev the
oath administered! to him, which wuz
be dun by the Oldest, Justis nv the
Peace NV the lait stait Of Moo Gersay,
which hez committed suicide. Here
new truble enSoOd-there wasn't a
Bible to be found in the whole encamp
ment.- The difficulty wuz got over by
New York Alderman yellin out,
'Never mind the oath-What'SN Nyoose'
Nv any oath he takes2" So he wuE de-
clnred President. 7rualgs ~
Prest Wood then proceeded to or
ganiZe. He requested sich eZ had held
commissions in the army NV the yoonit-
ed states to step forerd, three PAGES.
Gems. Mcclellan, Buel, Fitzjohn Por-
ter, ,& Slocam slept forerd, and with EN-
some 1000, a part NV whom he'd held
quartermasters commissions and whose
accounts.
"Jest afore the battle, mother"
Didn't balance, but wich allez did jist
after, and others who he'd bin dismist
for bein in the rear, when their sooperi-
ors desired to see EN- in the front, and
who consekently considered it n id
Ablishin war, Wich they didn't approve
NV, no how. =
Then hevin ascertained tile material
for otficerin his army he axed all them
who he'd bin in the service ez priVates
to step forerd, 10000 obeyed, and the
President asked the fust one where he
enlisted, who ansered as follows: 4I
g SAT Moo York, April IL, 1864, bounty
81 900; and at Philadelphia, April Ii,
1864, bounty 500; md at Pittsburgh,
| April I6, 1864, bounty $500; and at Gin
cinnati, April 10, 1854, bounty $500; and
Enough" said Fernandy and glancin
1 down the line, and seein all the faces
We're NV the same style and expression,
he asked no more NV EN- any questions.
Remarllin that it wuz we'll enough to
establish u church, he desired all who
were ministers NV the Gospel to step
| fOrerd. q slept out and desired to ex-
plain. They could not say that they
were just now in full connection with
any church. They he'd bin, but their
unconstooshipel Abilishin Synods and
| conferences he'd accused them NV ir-
regularities in hoss tradin, and various
other irregularities, and suspended en-,
and silenced EN- and sich, becoz they
| were Democrats, but -. =.
u The President shrugged his shoul-
derS, and asked all who Good read to
step out. About one-half answered,
and then he requested sich of this num-
Der as could be prevailed upon to ac-
cept small otticevan who bleeved
themselves fit, to step out agin, and to
my utterable horror and CONSERVATION,
every one but five slept out, ez brisk ez
\ SO many bees.I Immejitly there wlzan
i uproar. Them ez coodent read sWore
vociferously that there wuz nothin fair
about that arrangement. They never
knowd that n man wuZ obliged to be
able to rend to hold office in the demo-
cratic party, and they'd never stand
that, and they all stepped out.
4. Finally it wuZ decided that election
should be beldat some fucher time.
The next step wuZ to divide EN- up
into employments. The President re-
quested them ez preferred to foller me-
thirty advanced. Them ezcpreferred
farming. About fifty stepped out.
Them ed expected to run small grocer
ISias.
L There wuz n sound like the rush NV
many waters. Ninety-eight per cent.
uv.all-eepun the officers and preach
l.ers-sprtlng to the front, butWhen they
saw their strength, their faces turned
lwhite. "Good Lord" whispered they,
1--WE cant get livin out NV the remain
en- two per cent, and the officers and
preachers~
The mass then demanded division
Nv the property, that all mite start
i found not wuth while to bother about a
i division.
i Then they commenced murmurin,
and sed wunfto another, "Oh, for the
tiesh pots Nv the Egypt we left" 81
Good at hum, live OH my Ablishn ma.
bers.e t.There wus rich men in our
ward, but ez we had the majority, hey
paid taxes, which aOe spent! "Abiishn-
lists is pizen, but it is well enough to
have enough Nv um to taxp and ez wun
man, they resolved to return, and the
confusion that resulted from the breakin
up awoke me.
There is onquestionably moral in
the vision.-Ez often ez I hev syed for
perpetual Democratic majorities, heV
SumtimeS, when our party VVus success
fnl, and bid fair,tO be SO permanently,
wondered what we would do with the
Treasury eff we didn't lose the Offices
occasionally, so ez to heV the other
party nurse it into pickin condition for
us.
VI don't think I would Like to live in
a unanimous Dimocratic community.
II PETEoLoUAI Y. Massey.
Lait Paster NV the Church of the Moo
IDispensashun!
THE INCoNfR TAXA Washington
correspondentBays:
1t can bestated that respectab
ority, If not an actual majority, of the
members of the Finance and Ways and
Means Committees of the Senates and
Il House are strongly in favorof the repeal
oftheincome section of thetax Law, and,
IN. lieu thereof, imposition of a tax on
sales, which, at one per cent, will pro-
duce a revenue of one hundred and
4 twenty millions, of dollars; out of re-
Il eeiptS for rents, dividends, upon stocks
and other justly taxable emolumehts, a
similar rate of one per cent with the
specific taxes upon spirituous, malt and