The weekly union record., 1865-01-07
A Dutchman's Complaint.

A Dutchman's Complaint.
l dinks much about de war und de DRAFT,
und de rebils, uud all about desc dugs
dinks about EN- more "a about anydng else
Sometimes sets nit myself all day on de front
stoop, uud schmokes, und drinks hard cider
and does noting else only drink; den my wife
she gifs me de teufel for drinkin so much, und
ses vas peter go und see after Jacop. our
hired man, und not bodder my head nit more
as l can understand. But tells her what
shall vomens know about war ? better she goes
und mindts her own piseneSs. | drubles myself
more about Abraham as about Jacop.
Ven | gifts tired nit drinkn on nv own
stoop, goes down 10 Hans Butterfoos' tavern
und drinks dere uud tells my obinion, und
some oder one tells his obinion, und We makes
him cut togedder. De oder day begins de
draft Dat bodderS me agin. Some goes in
for de draft, mostly dem as is too olt and Won't
be took demself; some goes agin de draft uud
some don't know yich way to goes but ony
goes roundt and roundt, und gets boddered like
dam so as dc.
But, meier mind, | dinks | must find dis ding
out. und down | goes 10 Hans Butterfoos und
hears de fellerS bio don't make no.tin nit
dat: dey all bios some oder vav, md don't
dink dey hef him rite in dere own mindts. So
| begins und asks questchun; und ses TO
Bill Pufenshtoek:
"Not you dinks Won de draft, dat ii is rghi?"
And ses Bill: NO, dinks it amt right"
Veil, | don't believes him, caus be sheated
me vonce NIT plnd mare be sells on me. SO
| dries again aud shpeaks NIT Fritz lioeken.
-shplieer.
Fritz" I ses. "vOt you diuks Won de draft,
| ef it's right or not ?"
And Fritz, he ses, dat be "Dinks it is shust
so as it ought to be-
But don't believes him neder, cause be
run'd against me last year for de peace of
shustice, und dey make hin de peace-dat is
de shuslice Und be ish no more good for
shquire as my old cat. So l gifs up askin
somebody und make him out myself. / diuks
/ in dis shiyle: De reason dey go mid de draft
/ is 5ecos dey want sojers Ef dey don't get 10
soleis, den dey can't bring on de war. Ef dey
don't bring on de war, den dey don't lick de
rebils Ef dey don't hex de rebils, den de
reblls lcks, dem. Ell de rebils lickS dem. den
we all go TO ter tuyfel. OATS pooty straight.
So much.
Now | must dink of some more vot is de
next ding? l dink dats all rite but now |
shtops, someding else comes doc. Let Inc sees.
! Oh, yes dry hundred dollars-dat's de ding
dey all bios about de dry hundred dollars. |
dinks SO myself. Dry hundred dollars don't
/ lick de rebils no more as dry hundred cents.
Vots de goot nit dollars? Peter good,
shmart sojer, like my Shorge, he licks the
rebils more as six hundred dollars, yes. Now
knows more as Bill Pufensbtoek und Fritz
! Hoekenshplicer, both togedder We want de
/ sojers not de money. OATS where de bodder
/ is. We putty soon makes money enuf; but
] -, oJan
/ when de draft comes und ven men ses here is
dry hundred dollars, shtays behindt aud don't
/ fight de rebls, den if vas de draft, takes
dat man by his preeches und l says go to the
/ tuyvel nit your dollars and come along nit ne
4 like some oder man as has got no dollars und
don't like to 60 soerin so bad as not you do,
den pretty soon | gifts so much as | wants, dats
my idearS. / tells my olt woman if dey drafts
me, goes myself To be sure. don't dink
/ dey will, 'caus am more as fifty years; but
nefer mind. | should go along with my
/ Shorge, ony dere's two dings l don't like, und
one is the marshin und de udder is de 6tin.
/ sooner marches down to Hans Butterfoos und
/ fights dere Eff Shelf Davis comes dere on me,
! | gifs him dam, you peter had believe; but ef
/ | goes to Richmond, may be Shelf Davis be
gives me dam. So anyhow, | shtays home.
/ De oder day. my Shorge he comes back nit a
furlow. He is SO much corporal as ever be
vas, und | spheaks nit him about desc diDgs,
und glfs you now what he ses
! "Shorge," l asks bin, you've bin nit de
/ rebils und nit de army, und NIT OFT Abe, und
/ desc feers-vot you dinks Won dis draft dat
all dee beeples bios about?'
/ Und be ses to me "Oh, tunderw
Well dat's his opiDiuns. Maybe he shall
/ know Something's, too. He's pretty smart since
/ be goes for a sojer. He shwears like man
six foots high, und calls mudder "olt voman,"
/ und he calls me 'cap," und he kisses de gals,
/ and be calls Jacop dam fool | dinks he
gets some high Office before de war lie gone.
/ SPosGEs.-The sponge business has become
prominent department of industry in the Ba-
hama Islands. 1t is almost entirely the growth
of the last twenty years, and netts annually
about 10000 dollars. The sponge is fshed
and raked from the sandy bottom Of the ocean,
at the depth of twenty, forty or sixty feet. 1t
belongs to a very low order Of animal life. or
gauizatiou hardly being detected. When first
taken from the water it is black, and becomes
exceedingly offensive from decomposition. 1t
is so poisonous 10 this condition that it almost
blsters the flesh it happens to touch. The
first process Is to bury it 10 the sand where it
remains for two or three weeks, 10 which time
the gelatinous animal matter is absorbed and
destroyed by the insects that swarm 10 the
sand. After being ceansed, it is compressed
and packed in bales like cotton. The sponge
has been applied to q variety of new purposes,
and within the past few years has qnadrupled
in value.
/ 4 sbopkeeper purchased Of an Irishwoman
Z e -
tended for pounds be weighed in the balance
and found wanting. "Sure it's your own fault
if they are light, said Biddy. in reply to the
complaints of the buyer; sits your Own fault,
sir; for wasn't it with pound Of your own
soap l bought here myself that weighed
them With"