Staunton spectator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1849-1896, 1865-10-24
WIT AND HUMOR.
4 naughty spirit goeth before (water) fall.


Miss Flutter, who teased her father for eva |
ter-fal," received damn instead.
The retired petroleum nabobs are now termed
ex-iles. II
When are babies the staff of life When they
are bred in the house. -
-~~~ Why are children sometimes like wheat Be-
they have to be threshed.
Some people are not exactly liars, but they are
very economical in the use of truth.
Artenlus Ward says that his hair resembles low
ers on the eve of separation. 1t is hard to part.
At the end of lifes turnpike is deaths gate and
when the rich pass through it, they are generally
tolled.
A receipt for instantaneously removing super
- fluous hair-Unde rtake to kiss spunky woman
against her will.
An editor received boquet Of ta1sy and worm
wood. He says,he don't care, it's sweeter than
matrmony, anyhow
Bush--The mind communicating with the
central ganglion by reflex action to the organic
-, w nerves with which it inosculates.
That was a smart youngster who, hearing his
mother remark that she fond of music,
IS m claimed: "Then why don't you buy me a drum 81
e An editor published long leader ON hogs. A
rival paper in the village upbraids him for
obtruding his family matters on the public.
A Western editor thinks Hiram Powers, the
sculptor, is a swinder, because he stchiseled'
unfortunate Greek girl out OF block of marble.
WE Some enthusiastic patriot having been eulogi-
zing the girls of 49,, witty editor replies that
they are not to be compared with the girls from
is to 20. 9es -
ss9ss Nothing was so muc CHI dreaded in schoolboy
50 days. as to be punished by sitting between two
~ girls All! the force of education In after years
we submit to such things without shedding a tear.
"a 4 4 young lady, on account of her weight object
-aEss ed to q negro carrying her mud hole
- a3a.Lors misse,'' said Sambo, imploringy, 'Tse
carried whole barrels of sugar $3.50
"Bob, did you let off that gun ~ exclaimed an
~ enraged schoolmaster. Eyes, master "We
what do you think will do with your" fsNhy,
kasssa let me off. So .1sss.ss.ss.ss,4sf ! -
boy was lately asked by his teacher, who first
u.tz bit the apple2 To which he replied
81 don't know, but guess it was our Sal, for
she eats green apples like thunder"
The Vie Parisiene states that the heat was so
intense in Paris during the first week in August
that the ladies found it convenient to their
hair in their wardrobes. 44
as stingy man inquired of workman at his Ia
BILE if he knew how many cakes he had eaten
The latter was unable to say. Thirty three, roar
ed the mser. Very well, said the workman, you
count and III eat! #
800 A lady, bathing at Guilford, Connecticut, on
kt Saturday, came near being drowned, but was res
cued by her husband. On reaching the shore her
my waterfall y
~ ~ Gan honest man is the noblest work of the
s. Lord !" enthusiastically exclaimed Hardshell
Baptist and then, after pause, he added "but
the Lord hasn't had job in the world for fifty
years. Pass round the sasser."
A tutor lecturing young man for irregular
conduct. added the report of your vices will bring
your father s gray hairs in sorrow to the grave
- / beg your pardon, sir, replied the incorrigibe,
the old man wears wig.
Fea ferryman while plying over river which was
only slightly agitated was asked by timid lady
in his boat whether any persons were ever lost in
that river. stOh, no., said he, eve always find
s. em agin the next day"
A celebrated dandy was one evening in company
with young lady, and observing her kiss her ia
vorite poodle, he advanced and begged the like fa
vor, remarking she oughtto have as much charity
for him she had shown to the dog.
Sir, said the belle, never kissed my dog when
ss1s he was puppy.
Colorado paper is responsible for the following
story of two Hibernian voters at the recent cleo
ton for or against the adoption of negro suffrage
So in that state: No. 1chucked in a vote against
the Constitution and for the negro suffrage" No.
2 says, sWhat the diyi yes voting that way
for? sure we don't want nagur SUFFRAGE" ssOch |!
to hell with nagur replied thick head, "let him
suffer and be damned to him.
It will be seen from the following that the style
in which the ladies now wear their hair, called
sswaterfalls,' cataract" is no new thing, but
an old Roman fashion revived:
~ ssThe French miliners plumed themselves,
doubtless, when they brought out certain prev
alent style of hair dressing, as the inventors of
something new assure you that when Caesar
was slightly mastered, the admiring Antony made
the exclamation, 'sWat-er-fall was there my coun-
trymen ;" proving at once the presence of the fair
sex on that melancholy occasion, and the truth of
the preachers assertion that there is ssnohing
new under the sum-,