Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1865-09-21
$4aatptons &eaaiug.
a. WARD .sTRIKEs. IIE.n


My Deerest Betsy Jane:-Here am
cum, as Slick.as Greas, out of the reach OF
the aslings and arrears Of outragis forch-
une," as the Poit sez. Eff anybody en-
qwires to Baldinsyilie about Artemus Ward,
shat used to be some in the Show Biznes,
say TO than with q Tear in. thy I, Artime-
nous Chats the Greek spell of my name,
the great Snowman is dead--that is, to is.
noble persoots. Tell them Artemus is no
more Artemus, but sbody oorporsted )"
tell 'em Betsey Jane Ward is no more the
wife of the Captain of the Baldiusville mil.
lishy, but lady. Betsy Jane, I've struck
ilei I'm as -ritch as Creasus. Ny lie will
spirit up in q. stream 2 hundred feet Hi, and
ss thick as the main mast of the irunsldes.
o Betsy what site or mean work IVe
dun in my past careerI To think that l
used to handle the Bo Constructors an 9TH
er reptile snaiks, in my show, an all for no
use. Iget poos. and poorer, while the
snAiks and tigers get fat; and at larst the
pesky rsbs consscated my show, an "Othel.
ly,s occupation. was gone."
This is kold world, Betsy-Particularly
whar theirs no lie. When 7 got poor (cauz
howl was tn good natured like farther
Abram, and let the boys intu my show with
out payin) even my monkey made mouths
atme, an was wax fgger meself-that
ID, was patience on a monument. But no.
body asaw it" but me. Now its different.
Shakspees, or some otherwise theologuIn sed
sum is born CRATE, some win grateness by a
pack Of cards ora horse race and the rest
cit big by axident. Now I didn't win it,
or git it thrust onto me, but bored it out
the stuns Of Salt River, with government
orgur.
Borin is of two kinds-borin for the cor
porations Chat is for the money! and after
wards for the lie. Wal, you see I bord my
self outof A. Ward into crate Company,
called the "Olesginus Saline Garboniferous
Indication Manufacturing Company" tell
you privitly, it took splendid. WeSthat's
me, and Artemus and Artimeous & Mr..
Ward-opined an offs, and from Mondy
morn till Sundy dawn we bookt the shares.
Our company was organized to witt
had II milluns Of shares at cents share,
and 1oent preserved for working capital. :"
We gsranied everything. We told the
moose boys and uther contrebands that We
had the tsroyalty" and ssfee simple" Of the
lie on Salt River. We told 'em we was op-
posed to arstockrisy and big shares. We
told 'em the shares was sslimited" they
was, TO our treasury. Our shares went up
10 II dollar and Ii 1.2 cents in IA days !!
We sold out an started anr ther, an this was
the way we.went on, till the vale of Salt
River was bored like pepper Box.
Betsy Jane, Pyeguy youthe mods oper-
andy ofstriking lie. The man wot got rich
on wot 9 talsrs guv him, an inscribed patri'
otickally on his Buggy, "Nsns TaIers
Maid soun man," was fool long side the
Wards. I'm comm to Baldinsville soon to
stop up thine undistipguisht career and
open in Boeting establishment worth hy-of
Betsey.. Jane. Tell Zeke Biglow to make a
Coach 4, and put on the panel Orger as
big as main mast Of ship. I inten to make
the Goldfish higgins pale there ineffectooal
fires, as the postle says. The Artemus corpo.
ration sends the oleagenius farewell kiss.
No more at present. From thy dearest luv.
ARTEMUS WARD.