American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1865-04-05
WIT AND WISDOM.

What best describes and most i'm
pedes a pilg,im ?-Buuyan.
A London journal calls "Idyls of the
Heai,h a great subject
-" Put money ia thy purse" as the
p;ck-pocket said when he robbed man
of an empty one.
Why had man better lose his arm
than a leg? Because, losing his leg, he
loses something to boot"
The peach prospects in the western
part Of New York State are said to be
GOOD Not so in Missouri.
Dir. Johnston, once speaking Of a
auarrelsoms fellow said g. If he had two
ideas in his head they would fall out
with each other"
At the recent disgraceiul prize-fght,
not only was tie beaten man completely
exhausted. but his backer, also, was very
much chawed up.
Seven of Whites gucuIIas, who
had been depredatingon the Virginiaside
of the Potomac, were yesterday captured
near F.iyGax ourt House.
AT hotel one day, one boaraer re-
marked to is neiehbor: "1'h's must be a
healthy place for chickens" Why "
asked The other ''Because | never see
any dead ones hereabouts."
A me.hodist and a Quaker having
stopped at a public house, agreed 10 sleep
in the same bed The methodist knelt
down aud prayed feryently and confessed
long catalogue of sins After he arose
the Quaker observed, Really, friend, if
thou art 30 bad as thou sayest thou art, |
think | dare not sleep with thee"
"A country gentleman was strolling
out with cockuey friend--G genuine
cockney-when they finally approached a
meadow in which was standing a glorious
crop of hay. The cocknoy gazed at ii
wonderingly. 1t wasn't grass-it wasn't
wheat--it wasn't Juruip-tops. "vy, vat
ever does you call this stuff" said he to
his companion. "Ihat-why, hay, 70 be
surew was the reply. Hay! he, he !!
come, that's cutting it a little too thick
Ii thaCs hay, just show me the hay-corns
come now :"
1t has been said that every man has
at least one good point Of character. A
gentleman, traveliugon Sunday, was oblig-
ed to stop to have one Of the shoes of his
horse replaced. The farrier was just So
ing TO church, but suggested to the trav-
eler chat Jem Harrison might be found
at home at the next forge. This proved
to be true, aud the rustic who led the gen.
lleman's horse to the spot, exclaimed -
Well | must say that for Jem, for it is
the only good point about him, he do nee
er 90 10 church"
GREATNESS IN EABRYo.-We have a
very loyal young gentleman in Butler,
who is reading law, and who will doubt
less astonish the natives when he comes
to the bar. The following is one Of his
fights of oratory. In debate, some
time ago, some position had been taken
and defended, and our friend thought the
sentiments atrocious. why, MIR. Presi-
dent" said he very solemuly, "the man
who would utter such sentiments, would
pluck the goose quits from an angels
wing in her airy flight toward heaven J"
"A young lady from the rural dis
trict lately entered city railroad car
Pretty soon the conductor approached her
and said:
I" Your fare, Miss"
She blushed and looked confused, but
said nothing. The conductor was rather
astonished at this, bu; ventured to remark
once more:
Your fare, Miss"
This time the pink on her cheeks deep
ened to carnation, as the rustic beauty re-
piled
"Well, if l am good lookin, you hadn't
ought ter say it out loud afore folks"
The passengers in the car roared with
laughter, and her lover at once settled the
fare.