The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1865-09-29
ARTEMAS WARD.
HIS VISIT TO THE SHAKERS.
What He Thinks Of their Custom.

The Shakers Is the strangest religious sex /
ever met. I'd hearn tell of 'em, and I'd
seen em, their broad brimd hats and long
Waistid coats but I'd never cum into immeiit
cantack with 'em, and I'd sot 'em down as
lAckin intelleck, as I'd never seen 'em to my
show-leastways, If they cum they was disgised
But in the Spring of 10, I got swampt in
the interior of New York State, one dark and
stormy night when the winds Blue pityusly
and was forced to tie up with the Shakers.
was toiling through the mud when in the
dim vister of the futer observed the CLEAN
ofa taller candle: Tiein hornets.nest to my
of hoss's tail to kinder encourage him, soon
reached the place. knockt at the door,
which it was opened unto me by a tall sickly-
faced solum lookin individooal, who turned
out to be Elder.
"Mr. Shaker" sed I, "you see before you
q Babein the Woods, so to speak, and he axes
shelter of you" ....
"Yay," sed the Shaker, and he led the way
into the house, another Shaker being sent to
put my bosses and Vaughn under kiver. +.
A solum female, looking somewhat like a
last years bean pole stuck into long meal
bag, cum in and axed me was athurst and
did ! hunger? to which I urbanely answered
open coDversashun with the old man. =
Elder, I spect 2" said !. ~
Yay," he sed. ..r.
..Helth's good, l reckon"
"Yay."
"What's the wages of Elder when he un.
derstans his bizness; or do You devote your
a.yl Sss gratuitusa"
Stormy night, sir"
"If the storm continuers there1l be mess
underfoot, hay"
"Yay."
SITS unpleasant when there's mess under
foot?"
"Yay."
eff I may be so bold, kind sir, what's the
price of that pecoOler kind of weskt YOU wear
nclOOdin trimmins ?"
Ipawsed mint, and then, thinkin I'd be
faseshus with him and see how that would CO.
Islapt him on the shoulder, bust into hearty
larf, and told him that as yayer he had no liv-
in ekal.
He jumpt up as if Bilin water had bin squirt.
ed into his ears, groaned, rolled his eyes up
lords the sealn, and sed: YOU'RE o man of
SIM" He then walkt out of the room.
Jest then the female in the meal bag stuck
her he'd into the room and statid that refresh
ments awaited the weary traveller, and sed If
it was the vittles she ment the weary traveller
was agreeable, and follered her into the next
room.
/ sot down to the table and the female in
the meal bag pOred out some tea. She sed no
thin, and Tor five ninits the only live thing in
that room was old wooden clock, which tickt
in subdued and bashful manner in the corner.
This deathly stiffness made me oneasv, and
determed to talk to the female or bust So
SEE |, Marriage is agin your rule, I bleeve,
marm?" .
"Yay." ...
The sexes live stricktly apart, spect?"
Its kinder singler," SEE |, putin on my
most sweetest look and speakin in winnin
voice, that so fair a made as thou never got
hitched TO some likely feller." NJ B.-She
was upwards Of forty and homely as stump
fence, but l thawt I'd tickil her.
~ S don't like men J" she sed, very short.
important part of the populashan. / don't
scacely see how we could get along without
'em.
aus poor wimin folks would get along
CRATE deal better if there were no men,"
"Youm excuse me marin, but don't think
that air would work. It wouldn't be regular.
I'm afraid of men" she sed.
"That's Unnecessary marin. You amt in no
danger. Don't fret yourself on that pint"
Here we're shot out from the sinful world.
Here all is peas. Here we are brothers and
sisters. We don't marry and consistently we
have no domestic difficulties. Husbans don't
abuse their wives-wives. don't worrit their
uuoOous. 4ucIOo uO CuuOIOu w WOAtbs 0os
Nothing to worrit MS here. No wicked matri-
mony here. Would thow like to be Shaker 2"
NO sez !, sit amt my stile." .-,s
mad now histed in as big load OF per.
vishuns as could carry comfortable, and lean
ing back in my cheer, commenst pickin my
teeth with fork. The female went out leav-
in me all alone with the clock. hadn't sot
thar long before the Elder poked his he'd in at
the door. You're man Of sin I" he sed, and
groaned and went away.
Direkly thar cum in two young Shakers, as
putty and slick lookin gals as ever met. 1t
Is troo they were drest in meal bags like the
old one I'd met previsly, and their shiny, silky
hair was hid from sight by long white cape,
ewes sparkled like diminds, their cheeks vas
like roses, and they was charmin enough to
make man throw stones at his grandmother.
if they axed him to. :
They commenst clearin away the dishes.
castiu sly glances at me all the time. got ex-
cited. forgot Betsy jane me- in my rapsur. and
"We air well,n they solemnly sed.
"Whar's the old man2" sed /, in soft