The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1865-03-01
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U8rlek0 Strikes OIL.

"Briel" Strikes OIL.
, In the Sunday IN. ~ Nercury we fin,
the following laughable article. Bricl
ove--does the thing little, but there is
great deal Of human nature in this bur
lesque: ~.
20, Petroleum You are the Pete fol
me! Mr.. Moses smote the rock, and waite,
gushed forth, first; I smote its rock, anG
exceeding much of oil treacled forth. Ant
| am rich oilso. To find such much ef q
grease, dooh we'll a-grease with me.
skirmished from garret upon oil region
Ever since became born, my poverty has
been hard to be borne I have suffered
l have been bored by creditors !! My credit
was run into the ground. People thought
me rich, meanwhile, and very meanwhile
it was, too! They thought I had plenty
Of money; SO they wanted pay down 70,
what bought. Not wishing to humor
perhaps would not purchase many things.
leased, bored, brought it! Veni, vidi,
vici! Oils well that ends we'll; especially
if it is an oil well! l bored and it came.
drilled hole through rock and oil,
ready have been rewarded with so much of
the fuel being prepared for the Anal con.
fagration, that I fear the last boil will end
in as great fizzle as did the Dutch Gap
Canal.
And now I am rich-more rich than any
man, or any other man. have lots of
money now, when I have no use for it.
What queer world Nothing like oil -
Folks say, Halo here's Honorable Mr..
Brick just struck fortune. Dcuced fine
fellow, Mr.. Brick H. Three months since
was plain Brick" Its oil owing to Petro-
leum.
And now for splurge. Brown stone
house on Fifth avenue, with brown stone
front designed by old Brown himself, on
both ends of it. Red horses with green
tails, pink eyebrows, blue ears, chocolate
colored eyes, frizzled name and matchless
| style. Yellow wagon with black sides,
purple blinds, and brown top, a Ia clam
shell. Ethiopian driver with white kids,
| solferino stockings, magenta hat. band, and
| false teeth on gutta purcha base. And q
sixty.f oxstave ethio-piano with broca.
| tells drawers, that modesty may not be
shocked by looking at the legs thereof,
| And library devoted to red, backs, yellow.
backs, brown backs, maroon backs, and
| even "green backs I" Darn the expense,
quoth II And I'll have a park in the
woodshed, and bathing tub full of oil in
Church, and wild buffalo to cut steak
from, and oysters large as Lincoln's major.
heels, and seat in some fashionable church,
and new hoop skirts for all my hired girls,
and will employ so many niggers to wait
on me, that oil I'll have to do, will be to be
happy. Oh Pete! Let me kiss you for
your Ma! And I'll lay abed mornings,
and In sit up all night, and bore my friends
oil day, till they can't bore it! Talk about
honest industry saving wood for the dust !;
opening oysters for the shells; blacking
boots merely to See your face in them, and
being honest forty years waiting for some
rich man to adopt you! Played! Petro.
! lew" 70 the how. And now I'll live high.
me cold cuts, crackers, cheese, mush boil.
cd, No. 8 mackerel, warmed.up soup,
and brilliant appetites. I've struck Pete I!
Now when 60 on the street, folks run
| to the windows and smile. And they smile
at me on the street. And they ask me to
smile in Ginuel Cock Tails house. And
they all have kind word. O, Pete! Your
the Roleum for me! Things in my limited
kingdom isn't as they use to once was -
Farewell ragged habilments. Good bye,
| hungry stomach It's oil right now. Ten
years ago Muggins wouldn't speak to me,
cause was not well, financially speaking.
| Muggins is now as cordial as horse radish
or hot whisky. And when l would we'd
lock that rich girl who so sweetly was unto
me, her cruel parents said, 20, poor, but
honest youth, entice thyself hencer' And
| cnticed-nobody! Now that girl, and
those cruel parents, wish me to CALL How
are GU, bettered circumstances Iii good
to remember oil these things! And the
| time dwells in those fond recolec!ions of
mine, as how I was not wanted at fashion
able parties. Now the doors fly wide, AMI
ebony angels OF shoddy, swing the panels
for me to enter and revel. 0, Pete you're
oil right my boy
Money More than would wad colum.
bad Everybody is willing to trust me
now. l have no need for credit. Rich
folks are deuced glad to see me. They bow
very low to me now They didn't once
Great is Peter Oleum, and boring is its
to once dig potatoes on shares-turn grind
stones for fun -mlked cows for the butter
nilk-co,ton strings for suspenders.-
boss's old boots or freeze toes-hired mans
hat or get ned-second table or none at
all-'dir.y fingered type-stcker" or poor
mechanic--go afoot or stay behind Oil
is a dream now. Stare, hilarious days, for
poverty are over, and shoddy is indeed
enviouS. - n
| Guess can kiss Matilda Jerusha now,
and her dad won't object, for I've struck
lie Reckon tailor will have time to make
those raiments for me this week. Think
landlord won't insist upon moving out of
his abode. Things is working now
Another vein is opened! And you don't
know how nice IL is. If go on "bum,"
folks look over it now. When was poor,
they looked inteit. can kick boot -blacks,
snub poor people, break car.windows,
throw goblets at walters, visit questionable
places, hurrah for any man l wish to, wink
at whose wife wish to, tie my team to
shade trees, stand on church cushions with
dirty feet, jam peoples hats down over
their eyes, tell man he is q liar, spit on
the carpet, get drunk or sober, swear or
not as / please, and its oil right for I've
struck Pete /! And can sit up oil night,
and raise much harmony. no one ob.
|jecs. Mis-. Stiggings says am the nicerest
man she ever sawed Mrs. Piggerly says
am the most dclightingest gentleman she
ever knowed- The Stiggings and Piggerly
girls say am mostly exquisitous! Its oil
on account Of Peter Oleum, who has lately
como to see me.
I And Tm on it now. Have left my inca.
sure for Get Of diamonds, size Of coal
bed. And Ihave ordered silk shirts, satin
stockings. more antique elastics. and gold
shaving cup. And I'll have guitar, harp,
organ, piano, and tinkling cymbal in the
house. oiled with petroleum, SO they will