Delaware State journal and statesman., 1865-08-11
LOOMING THE Opp FELLOWs.

JOINING THE ODD FELLOWS.
"Very we'll, Mr. jerks, you know my opinion
Of secret societies."
nPerfeotly, my dear, perfectly" said our
friend ihrustng his hands into his pockets with
oil the energy he could sustain,
"And you will join 7"
"Don't you think 1t best Z"
mo sir, once for oil, do not"
"ConsidOr my dear, if you should be left q
widow, with nothing to support -"
"NoW what ridiculous argument. Do you
suppose, Mr. jerks -"
"My dear"
"Mr Jenks."
"Wll you listen for moment ?"
"Certanly."
"Wel, then, much as l respect your wishes,
and you know love you dearly, it will be inn
possible for me 10 oblige you In this instance. l
have sent in my document, and tonight am to
be initiated"
Mrs. jerks opened her handsome eyes in
amaaement, and for moment was lost in
wonder
sand you are actually going to be initiated !"
ayes my dear"
"Well, will you tell me all about it when you
come home 7"
"Perhaps so."
Comforted by this assurance, the lady offered
no further opposition, and our hero took his de-
parture. About the hour Of eleven he returned
wiser II not better man.
"Well, my DEAR" exclaimed Mrs. Jenks
what did they do to you-what is it like
were you much frightened Come, tell me oil
about it,"
"DOn't ask me-" gravely replied our friend
~ beg you won't ask me-"
"Why not, I'm your wife, you know, and wife
and husband are one. Why noti"
"Hark !" said jerks, "did you hear any
thingW
"Silence, my dear, remember what Shakes
peare says about sermons in stones, books, in
running brooks. If should divulge it,"
"Wbo, my dear 7"
"The patriarch Of the lost tribes Even now
he may be at our window"
"Meroy on u.s." circulated Mrs. Jenks, chow
you do terrify body. I-I-I-I-shiv-shiVe
all over"
"lf you don't want to be killed outright ask
no more questions"
''sure you can tell me something about il an
idea or two, that wouldn't be divulging you
know"
"What il you should in an ungusrded moment
let the secret OUT
"0h, trust me, it will be safe In my keeping"
"You will never tell I"
"Never"
mot even TO your mother2 You know how
gossipping some old ladies' arc"
I'll never open my lips to her on the sub
jsct."
"Hark /" exclaimed jerks, with a theatrical
start, shear you nothing"
Nothing" repeated his wife with unfeigned
alarm.
"Tis only the wind, unused our friend 81
thought il might be the grand bashaw, armed
with his ciTcumventer, and covered with the
curious devices Of the order Now listen If you
love me-fOr the sacrifice am about to make is
great-and you must seal your lips forever on
tue subject"
"weil my dear" said the lady with long
drawn sigh"
"You have often heard of the cat being let
out Of the bag p
"Yes."
''well, l saw that cat tonight"
''Yes, and an immense cat at that, q mon
Httous cat. But you shall hear You shall know
all. Let me begin at the beginning"
"Ihats right" exclaimed Mrs. Jenksi breath
less with interest
"0n arriving at the Hall, | was Immediately
Ie7ed by four smart fellows, and taken to the
roof Of the building Here l was tongue.tied
and compelled 10 answer about hundred ques-
tons, all having direct bearing on the science
OiastrOuOmy."
"What queer proceeding" exclaimed Mrs.
jerks.
"HOW answered those questions, must ever
remain, suppose, a mystery to myself-certain
itis, however, l did answer every one--although
did not know it till tonight, there's dipper
and q chair and four horse team, aud don't
know what else in the sky. Is it not pity that
this beautiful science is so sadly neglected"
tWhat, what them y
"Wby, the next question Is too absurd to be
repeated"
"They wanted to know whether | took a
newspaper, and il so how much l owed the
printer. Fortunately, had just then paid my
subscription otherwise must have been rejected
IS no man can become an Odd Fellow who owes
q cent 10 the printer"
"Well, never" exclaimed Mrs. jerks, "what
an influence those newspapers do exert to be
sure"
"EIsctly But scarcely had answered these
queries satisfactorily, when an immense fame
shot up and we as quickly shot down"
"What through the roofr"
"Oh, mo- | suppose We took the stairs but
was securely bound and tongue-tied. hardly
knew how we got down.. The apartment into
Which | was ushered was pitchdark, and
strong oder Of birthstone pervaded the room.
"Brimstone, my deRrf 7"
"Yes il must have been birthstone, for moth
ing else could have produced such a sitting
sensation"
"Well of all things"
"Then began the roar of artillery with an oc-
this tumult heard a low sweet voice chanting
hymn Of peace. "AIan shall love his fellow,
sang this angel-cruel war shall be waged no
1nOre-peaoe shall Feign-slavery shall perish
Industry shall meet its reward-oharity fills the
heart Of men. When this happy singer had
ceased, loud cry for cheap postage rent the
air."
allow very odd"
"Yes, just like these Odd Fellows, they are
real reformers," replied our friend
"HoW very odd"
"why, then lights were prepared, and signed
the constitution"
"wel, what Of that cat Of which you was
speakingfn ~
"0h nothing, my dear, only they let her out,
and for a minute or two she appeared quite be-
Wildered 1t was the first time had ever seen
that cat out of the bag. But what struck me
with the greatest awe, was the appearance Of
the lost TRIBES and the double jointed bashaw
who in loud voice continually said-"Life il
short-prepare for that which is to come. lie
all men have charity, and love their neighboi
as themselves" whereupon the grand patriarcl
armed With the tail of the great grand father
authority, arose and impreRsvely adjourned thu
meeting"
''Well, l DECLARE" calculated Mrs. jerks ant
this ia Joining the Odd Fellows"
ayes, but remember to keep all have toll
you, a profound secret" said jerks, with hall
umolhered chuckle as he buried his head in tb
bed clothes to keep from laughing outright.