davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1865-10-26
Josh Billings DiscOurses Com
cernEl g Wien of Big Genius.

A big genius is generally phool; he
knows how to do one or two things SO much
that he amt fit for anything else; he is like
q greyhound, good for running fast, that's
all. You kant larn him emmy more than you
can al eagle; he knows how to fiji up and
look at the sun without winken, because he
was born so, and when he gets up on the
peke of the mountain and gets well lit, you
kant go tew him, nor he won't come tew you,
but thare he sets till the dinner bell rings
After dinner he fize oph agane, and you
won't see him till supper time. Tha are like
mummeys very curis kritters, and kepe
long time without splicing. If tina only had
common sense, so that you could make talers
or shumakers ov them, thare would be some
sense oy having the breed more plenty; but
one or two liz aul that IL profitable to have on
hand tew onst, and tina are enough to keep
emmy boldly uneasy about what tina are going
tew dew next. They live about 40 yeres
ahed of the times, and when the world
ketches up with the last one another IL born,
who spends most of his time in digging up
the old bones that the last one buried.
About the only thing they sho emmy common
sense in IL, that they most always die in dect
to everybody. The most unfortunate thing
about having big genius on hand, IL that so
many try to initiate them, but they don't
generally get any farther up than their vices,
and thus one big genius suckles thousand
phools. Tha don't generally live happy, be-
kause tina amt built right to fit things as tina
find them Tha ought to have CRATE place
tew stop in, where there amt nothing but
big generalitys to dew, and WHARF tina kan
play tost and ketch with the stars, and krack
butternuts and mountains. Iha are curious
critters.
Tha amt afraid to straddle a hurry kane
without emmy bride on, and stick in the spurs,
but mice nibblin' in the wanescut will drive
him bareheaded into the street. They can
plant, but they won't kultivate nor reap.
II ! Waz woman, would as soon marry
a porcupipe as big genius; they are nei-
Their az hot az the stove in the districkt
skule house, or az kold and unfeeling az the
shoes on dead omnibus boss. A genius il
like big comet, that appears onse about so
often, and makes everybody nervis, and then
disappears and though we may not at the
time be able to put our fingers on the iden-
teal good tina have dunn us, still their visit
is a big one, and the CRATE reservoys are
pumped up fuller, and we poor men, the rest
ov us, when we stick in our little fountains,
find that thewaters have been freshened and
sweetened by sumbody.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1865-10-26

FAMILY CoURTEsIEs.-In the family, the
law of pleasing ought to extend from the
highest to the lowest You are bound to
please your children; and your children are
bound to please each other; and you are
bound to please your servants, if you expect
them to please you. Some men are pleasant
in the household and nowhere else. have
known such men. They are good fathers and
kind husbands. If you had seen them in
their own house you would have thought they
were angels, almost; but # you had seen
them in the street, or in the store, or any,
where else out of the house, you would have
thought them almost demoniac. But the
opposite is apt to be the case. When we are
among our neighbors, or among strangers,
we hold ourselves with self-respect, and en-
deavor to act with propriety; but when we
get home we say to ourselves 81 have
played d part long enough, and am now
going to be natural" SO we sit down, and
we are ugly and snappish and blunt and dis
agreeable. We lay aside those thousand lit
tie courtesies that make the toughest floor
smooth, that make the hardest thing like
velvet, and tina; make life pleasant We ex-
pend all our politeness where it will be profit
able-where it will bring silver and gold.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1865-10-26

in, besides sundly dents and bruises on the
brass castings Of the cylinders but for run
ming purposes absolutely uninjured, the reb-
els having piled logs squarely across the top
of the track, the point of the cow-killer had
gone under them, and, though broken by the
shock, had raised them sufficiently to keep
them from under the wheels, while the engine
dashed them right and left into the gorge.
The rebels seeing us stop, started i pur-
suit, but as we found nothing serious TO i'm
pede our further progress, and, as in their
case, distance lent enchantment to the
view,'' we were off again in high spirits, and
without further adventure worth recounting,
arrived safely at our destination. =
Poor Joe, after being shot at 50 often as to
have acquired a sovereign contempt for reb
ell bullets, was shot dead, about year ago,
while running a government engine near
Chattanooga.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1865-10-26
THE INFANTS DREAM.

Obi cradle me on thy knee, Mamma.
Ard sing me that holy strain
That soothed me last night as you fondy press'd
NY glowing cheek to your soft white breast;
For saw a sight as you sung me to rest
That l fain would see again.
And smile as you then did smile Mamma,
And weep as you then did weep;
Then fix on me your glistening eye,
And gaze and gaze till the tear be dry,
Then rock me gently and sing and sigh,
Till you lull me fast asleep.
ForI dreamed a heavenly dream, Mamma,
While slumbering on thy knee; S.
And lived in a land where forms divine
In kindoms of glory eternally shine,
And the world I'd give If the world were mine,
Again that land to see.
Then sing, fer I fain would sleep, Mamma,
And dream as dreamed before;
For sound was my slumber, and sweet was my rest
While my spirit in the kingdom oflife was guest,
And the heart that has thsobd In the Chimes of the
best,
Can love this world no more
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1865-10-26
Business Notice.

Lamps and Glassware.-The introduction Oh A''o.
sene has created Il trade in itself IN the many Ao "
lamps and lanterns gned for using IT, Amohs 'N'
largest houses in Chicago which make this trade Sie
alty, is that of N. f. Merrill, known TO most oi '
corners as liberal and courteous dealer one Vi tue
most fascinating Inventions however, Tor the uti'Ia
ton of kerosene, is Fishs Patent Cooking Lamps
a great variety of which he has on exhlpitioh anu
salc His stock of hotel and table glassware 10 Very
full and comprises every variety of plain ana fancy
ware. Mr.. Merrill will be glad to welcome MS many
country friends who may visit the city. Ii always
affords Mr.. Merrill pleasure to show strangers
through his establishment, which, by the way Is
treat of itself He occupies large building zoo iee'
deep fronting Randolph and Couch place, i've $40
rles from bottom to top cramlnel ~hh all that heart
could desire in his line. Give him 81
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1865-10-26
THE EDITor


Unceasing he works-hes never at rest,
For the world unsated with news,
Keeps asking for more, the latest and best,
lie cannot--he will not refuse.
Big sermons and speeches, stories and rhymes,
Wiz, items both ancient and new;
Suiting the people and suiting the times,
He must faithful and constant review.
Not only deals he in subjects profound;
His reason must mingle with fun;
The world will laugh and the joke go round
When the editor son&bbles pun.
And last but not least, year in and year out,
He duns his subscribers for pay,
And for the dollar you owe him, no doubt
The poor fellow is starving to-day
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1865-10-26

4 MANURE MusT BE CHANGED.--It is known
that green manure, or manure fresh from the
stables will not do to apply to crops. This
manure must in all cases be changed before
it is thus applied. 1t must be decomposed
(rotted) 1t is then plant food, and may be
applied directly, either as top-dressing, or
otherwise In the liquid form it is the same
thing. The juices themselves must be de-
composed. Hence we see the injury which
grass receives on the application of fresh
night-soil, or any fresh manure in the liquid
form.
But the green manure may be plowed in
to great advantage where fallow is made.
Pillow in with the first or second blowing,
leaving time for the action of the heat and
air upon the manure 1t is excellent to mix
thoroughly with the soil If not plowed to
deep, or with the top soil. We have never
known it to fail in such case. On very poor
soil it always has wonderful effect.--Cots-
man. Rural World.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1865-10-26
S e G ON ID e DITTO N
.4r f JUST PUBLISHED ,or
Made Easy /;
-oR-
How to Win a Sweetheart or Lover.


IF any young Lady or Gentleman wishes to know the
only true way to begin love correspondence should
send at for my great book, If you wish speak
your mind In tardy bashful way to your iovo, and
marry whoever you WISH my book tells exactly how it
should be DONE 1t also tells you how to write and
range love letters that you may send to your love,
and win the affection every time to Courtship and Mar
rage. 1t tells you how you can become rich without
hard labor and be successful in all of your undertake
ings with many valuable receipts worth ten times the
price of the book to whose hands 1t may fall This
book is handsomely bound In gilt muslin Sent by
mail to any address, post paid, for the small sum Of
One Dollar.
Send all orders to
@. L. BRIGGS, Publisher,
No. LA Dearborn.St., Chicago, III.
Twenty-Five Gents extra.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1865-10-26

AN EcoENTRIo INvENToR.-In noticing the
death of Mr.. Appold, the well-known engi-
neer, London paper observes that the most
remarkable proofs of his cleverness as an
inventor were collected in his own house and
the works adjoining it. There everything
that could be made so was automatic. The
doors opened as you approached them, and
closed after you had entered water came
unbidden into the basins; when the gas was
lighted the shutters closed: a self-acting
thermometer prevented the temperature ris
ing or falling above or below certain fixed
points and the air supplied for ventilation
was both washed to cool and screened to
cleanse it from blacks. Even the gates of
his stable-yard opened of themselves as he
drove through, and closed again without
slamming.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1865-10-26

IMPORTANT. Bells will prevent the dep
relations of dogs among your sheep.
A dog that knows enough to xii, sheep,
also known enough to be still and sly about
it. The great noise caused by number Of
bells, make him fear for his safety, and he
leaves without doing any damage The
bells would also bring the friends of the
sheep to their rescue. dozen bells In q
flock of fifty or seventy five sheep would be
ample. In flock of twelve sheep, half of
them should wear bells. Bells will protect
your woolly herds.-Amer. Ag.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1865-10-26

WE arc told from France that all the re-
markable featuaes of the season of 1871,
have been repeated in 1866 in the French
vineyards. The grapes have been so plen-
tiiul and the juice SO abundant, that large
quantities of wine have been wasted in con-
sequence of the want of casks in which to
store it.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1865-10-26

GEORGE BUTLER presented US with three
apples the other day, taken from tree in
his brothers orchard, which were novelty
indeed their blow end being excellently
sweet, and their stem being decided acid.
Between the ends was every variety of ia
vor. The tree produces the same style Of
fruit every year. The fruit beats anything
in our previous apple experience Wauks-
aan (IWl GQzette.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1865-10-26

A TASTE for reading will always carry
you into the best possible company, and en-
able you to converse with men who will in
struct you by their wisdom, and charm you
by their wit--who viii soothe you when
fretted, refresh you when weary, counsel
you when perplexed, and sympathise with
you at all times.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1865-10-26

The Sandusky (0.) Register states that
twenty tons of grapes were brought from
Kelley's Island and shipped to the east in
single day, and still the picking on the is
lands had hardly commenced
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1865-10-26

Dr. 0REsrEs A. BRowNsoN has been pre-
seuted by number of his friends with q
life annuity of $1,000, mainly at the sug-
gestion of the Rev Isaac Thomas Hecker,
the founder of the congregation of St. Paul
the Apostle
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1865-10-26
DR.. BRIGGS ORIENT,
FOR CURLING
to tAsot S@t AND }ei)iAL
BEAUTiFYING THE HAIR.

By using this article, ladies and gentlemen can
beautify themselves a thousand fold. This Orient is
Is the only article In the world that will curl straight
hair, and at the same time give 1t beautiful glossy
appearance. 1t makes the hair soft AM glossy 1t
also nvigoraes, beautlfes and cIesnses 10 highly and
delightfully."- perfumed and will in nc manner Interfere
with the natural softness of the hair 1t neither
scorches nor dries it up but gives it SOFT healthy ap-
pearance This article has been before the public for
years. and has been thoroughly tested with the most
satisfactory results 1t has now been before tho pub
lilo in this country only six months and In short
period has been tested by uousads and they all uni
versay testify that the Cient Is the greatest boautf
fer, and the complete article of tho kind ever
offered to the American public The Orient can be so
applied to the hair to curl for one day for one
week. for one month"; for any longer pc led desired
Full directions accompany each package Price One
Dollar per bottle Can be sent by mail to any address
receipt of price and postage, $1z6 Zone dollar and
twenty-five cents). Address all orders to
@. L. BRIGGS.
No
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1865-10-26

GETTING MARRIED.-A rather laughable
transaction took place week or two ago in
the town of Dewitt, Clinton county, Michi-
gan in which love and business are so in
termixed that it requires an adept to dis
tinguish between the two. A mjlk-safe ped
dler called at house to sell o ''safe." The
woman informed him that she was widow,
and would much rather have a man (safer. J
The peddler informed her that, if she would
take safe he would send her man, She
took it, and the peddler went on his way
rejoicing. He soon met man who he
ascertained had no bosom companion, and
directed him to the widow. Going on, he
called at house to sell safe, and was in
formed that the man was widower, and
would prefer wife. He told him if he
would take safe he would direct him to
where he could get woman. He took the
safe and the peddler directed him to the
same widow. When he reached her, he
was about an hour too late, the first having
just secured the prize. The kind-hearted
woman, however. sent him to a second
woman, whom he secured, and both loving
couples were married that afternoon.-E1-
change.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1865-10-26

/ have been storing roots for number of
years, and have tried various ways of Peep
ing them in winter, and have found that by
burying them in the field, they will come
out better In the spring than any way have
tried. If there is no danger of water get
ting in the heap, make a long one in the
middle of my batch of roots after pulling
few rows, take the horses and pillow, and
make a trench by turning furrow each
way. The roots can be wheeled in from
each way, or hauled in cart. After top
ping the heap to the requisite height put
little straw on and then about six inches
of earth-this is spanked down; about
every eight feet stand wisp of straw up
right for chimneys, to let dampness escape,
as they will sweat Before freezing wealth
er. | haul some long manure and put on the
heap.
A long heap has this advantage-you can
work at each end, and over the middle; and
when you take them out upon enc end only,
and after taking out what you want, throw
some of the manure on to prevent their
freezing. Should there be danger of water,
put heap on top of the ground; this
takes little more time to cover them.
have had as much as five hundred bushels
of turnips in heap of this kind. Carrots
and ruta-bagas I bury in the same way
Cor. Germantown Telegraph.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1865-10-26
DIR. BRIGGS
HAIR UPROOTER!
For Removing SuperAuous Hair.

TO the ladies especially this invaluable depilatory
recommends itself as being almost Indispensable
article to female beauty This article Is easily applied
aud does not burn nure the skim but acts directly
on the ROOTS 1t is warranted to remove superfuou5
Hair from any part If the body, completely, totally
and radically extrpating the same leaving the skin
SOFT smooth and natural 1Hfs is the only article used
by thu French and is the only real ecctual depila.ory
In existence. Price One Dollar per bottle; sent by
mail on receipt Of price and postage (Sl15)
Sold In the United States only by
CEAS. L. BRIGGS,
No. IA Dearborn Street, Chicago, Illinois.
Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1865-10-26

A WARS1se TO LADIEs.-Tattle begins
with T.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1865-07-25

. eeve, and walks in front Of Ne. 2's place Of
business. No. ''can't see it." and don't
come out. No. goes to supper then No. 2
goes to supper, and. somehow they meet on
the street. No. 2 pulls his shooting iron and
carries il BY his side. No. "sees it, and
pulls his shooting iron, when his .'eorthly
parient" interposes right in betwlxt both
on 'emn and in that very dangerous position
THAT is if they was goin' for 10 shutel ended
the awful conflict. There was some ''cavort-
ing" up and down on the skirmish line,"
but no serious encounter. the war was
practically ended and nobody hurt" Better
put up your 'weepens." gentlemen, for
might get hurt. Better cultivate
the small sweet coursesies of life" -yoa'iI
sleep better O. nights.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1865-07-25
From the ". Y. Obserrer.

From the ". Y. O6serrer
= We have had in for months past one q
VESTS PUMPS, which has given US more satlsfac-
lion as force or lifting pump than any We have
ever used. IL IS one of great power, and well
adapted tor shIp's decks, mines, factories green
houses, graPeries, etc The Mining Ikronfcfr
ana hdi!cGy Journal says: Its recommended
Ior us extreme simplicity of construction. great
suthgth, and consequent durability and cseap-
ness oi repair There 10 no stufing -boI-the pre-
sure being held by cup packing, like that upon
He SorAlhg piston, working IN eylince r, fitted
LOT the purpose within the upper ar chamb.r-
"heh we think great improvement, . stuff ne is
SO liable to be deranged and Iesk under strong
pressure 10 say nothing OF the loss by friction in
eioent theteto- 1t has always two AIR chambers:
thus the action OF the valve is cushioned upon
ooth SIDES by sr-preventing water hammer and
Tacuem-thump. The valves are very accessible
and SIMPLY and cheaPly repaired. They work
much easier than any pump We have ever seen:
the inch CYLINDER being worked by children, in
wells loO feet deep, and as they are extremely
cheap as well as simple and strong, we freely re-
commend them.''
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1865-07-25

PISTOLS AND BOWIE KNIvEs.-Yes terday
''ne 24th) our little burgh was the scene If
Unusual excitement and somebody was yery
near getting their fingers black burnt. No,
" put too fine point on it, or indicate, in
We most distant manner, who the parties
"s'e' we will say that two military gentle
men OF most high and noble fame. having
.'agnt.the rebs. through seas of blood. mt
uSwn the rebellion, and returned to the
pc and honorable pursuits of private
lie and domestic bliss, came mighty near
'sna'ng dog buttons" into each other YES.
's'oay. No called at No. 2's place of bu,.
e'' anu some words" ensusd, when No. ]
. .sass NO z BY the throat. No. 2 pulls hi,
. a0''s' 00, don't FIRE. No. goes away, and
S'A''' Oa'k again with knife in his Goa
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1865-07-25

THERE is perhaps no one article in the Sc
lection of which mistakes are so often made
as in Sewing Machine. 1t is we'll under
stood that there are only two valuable Sew
ing Machine stitches.-the look stitch and
the Grover & Baker stitch, each of which
have their peculiar merits. In order to merit
the wants of all purchasers the Grover &
Baker manufacture two kinds of machines
one makes the Grover & Baker stitch, the
other the lock stitch 1.-The latter being the
most simple. perfect and desirable shuttle
machine in use.
Aiken, Jarvis & Burial have both kinds
of machines for sale. Purchasers can exam
ne them and Judge which is best adapted to
heir wants. july l5dw WITT.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1865-07-25
THE GREAT ENGLISH REMEDY.
SIR JAMES CLARKE'S
Celebi ated Female Pills.

VClCUf dtc0 tWdir HIS
PROTECTED BY ROYAL LETTERS
PATENT!
Prepared from prescription Of Sir J. Clarke,
NJ. d., Physician Extraordinary to the Queen.
This invaluable medicine is unfailing in the
cure of all those painful and dangerous diseases to
which the female constitution Is subject. 1t mod
crates all excess and removes all Instructions, nd
a speedy cure may be relIed on.
TO MARRIED LADIES
it is peculiarly suited 1t will, in a short time,
bring on the monthly period with regularity.
Each bottle, price One Dollar, bears the Govern
ment stamp OF Great Britain, to prevent counter
feits
eau TON.
These Pills should not be taken by Females dur
ing the FIRST "HREE MONTHS Of Pregnancy,
they sure to bring Miscarriage, but at
ony other time they safe.
In all cases OF Nervous and Spinal Affections,
Pans in the Back and Limbs, Fatigue slight
exertion, Palpitation of the Heart, Mysteries and
whItes, these Pills will effe when all other
means have failed and although powerful rem
edy do not contain iron, ealomel, anthony, or
anything hurtfui to the constitution.
Full directions in the pamphlet around each
package, which should be carefully preserved.
SOLD BY ALL DRUGGISTS.
Sole Agent for the United States and Canada,
JOB MOSES, 81 Cortlandt ST., New York.
N. B.--Sl 90 and postage stamps enclosed to
any authorized Agent, will insure bottle con-
tanning 50 Pills return mail. oct. 27dwly.
The evening Argus. [volume] (Rock Island, Ill.) 1861-1871, 1865-07-25
CoMMERCuL,.
hock ISLAND MARkRf.

II 3D. o. .. .
Rock IsIAHD, July %, 1855. q
/ Inc eurren, vaiee Of the articles named below
sucleet 70 changes, ous the following quotation,
are correct Tor the date Of this report:
floar-Johnston's Spring Double Er,,.. /. hb,s
So,Se, At Wholesale, and $3.50 Al ret.I- ss.i.
so,SO ~ Wholesale, and 80, 40 At retail 80.
70, At Wholesale, and 81, 20 AZ retail
Wneai-Chicago Extra, s5c; No. j, soc !.
Corn-30a33c for 20 lbs
oats-2saS0c for IS lbs. -else-
Rys-30e. sr ..--.- IL.
bariey-50a60e.
Beans-7oc. 5-I l -.
OnIons-sI ,35 per bus. 81. r.
Potatoes New-$l go. e-r ....T
Eggs-I5e doz. rr-
Butter Very choice lots, for recalling, will
bring l6al7e.
Sorghum-S5c. $50. ..--..r s...-.
salt-$S, 40a3, 80 per bar. .s g.....3 20
kerosens w holssale, barrels included, SOC;
retail co. -
Highwnes-$2, 10. -s.
Poultry-Live chickens, s., 5Oas, 90 DER don
Dressed, l2ae per lb, Turkeys, lac per Id.
Pork.-for live hogs, 81 ,00aSS,5o VA
Beef-live weight, common 3,00a4,5O. For
prime shipping S,ooa6,0o per hundred lbs.
Hides-Gresn country, &C; green saltsd, SCI
dry sailed, 7ei dry Aint, Sc; green calf, Sc;
sheep pelts, 25c.
Hay-Praiue, s5a7 per ton Timothy. se. 90
Wood-osk 81, 90 TO $50 a cord. -
Coal.-At the Coal Valley yard, on the Levee,
coal 10 sold at 10 cents, the of delivering to
be added.
From teams, in Markets square, at I5aI6 cts.