Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1865-12-14
poNrooN PHILOSOPHY.
"a By josh BILLINGS.
Easaya.

Essays. lFa %
/. Human Happiness. The lekturel
diskribes human happiness, az tho art o,
feeling good. He also seq, that it il offer
like = disseaze, which men hav, a CRATE
while before they kno what ails them. Il
IL also the opinyun ov the lekturer, thai
no man kan ketch the disseaze, espesh'
tally, If he tries ever so hard-and Their
agin. wont often kno that he haz it, until
he haz got over it. The lekturer dom
propoze emmy plan for human happiness
but advises awl folks, not to be unhappy.
II. "Pixek.".-Pluck il like the small
pox, If q man haz tew mulch ov il, he il
a subject to be pitted. It il a good thing
to hav Just pluck enuf to kno that yu art
sure yu har got it. ThEre IL = CRATE deaI
of rum pluck, and swsre pluck this last
kind il like sum mems truth, they kant tel
it unless they are under oath.
III. "Lieing."-This il q very ansh'
unit HUSTON, and proberbly never will be
entirely neglekted, but IL a very risky one
If yu doubt it, read the real estate speku-
lation ov Annanias & Sapphira. Tharei il
only one thing meaner than a lie, and that
il, to git ketched at it.
Answer TO Correspondents.
"Lager."-In replying tew this cores
pendent, i hav endeavoured tew Civ m
sentiments upon Lager Beer" az a hum
BILE, and healing fluid, and one which q
man may drink tew excess frequently,
without being accused ov being everlast-
ingly sober. I hav simply strove to
awake the publick breast, tew a full Teller
ship, with this moral likker, ov the 18th
century.
"PGiZosopher."-In this correspondence
I" lean-men and fat-men" are the Subjek
ov discourse, and are handled lively,-es-
pecially the lean ones. It IL troo, that fat
men hav had sum remarkable trials, but
thare il one consolashun, / never knu one
yet tew be tried for his tallow.
"Mastif."-This IL a timber letter, and
contains a never failing recipee how tew
pick out a good dogg, on the rum. Good
Dogs are Citing tew Do less frequent, and
this recipee IL wuth at least 3 dollars tew
a fresh married cuppel jist a goin intu the
hous dogg bizzness.
Fame 4 Notoriety."-Fame IL the son
ov Excellence. hiz mother waz Virtue, and
she waz tho dauter ov Truth !; so you see,
Fame" belongs tew one ov the fust
familys. Notoriety il a bastard,-hiz
father waz a second handed banjo player,
and hiz mother waI q clothes line dancer
the last i heard ov him, he waz in the
currier biznsss, stealing dogg and then
finding him for S dollars reward.
"Predestination."-I think soap was
predestined tew wash with. and oysters
tew gro only in a shell, but I don't believe
man generally was-if he was, he haz
proved q total failure.
Answers 70 More Correspondence.
"Darenport."-This correspondence is
devoted to the manly art ov Spiritualism.
Davenport seems to be uncommon sound
on the spirit question. He offered tew bet
me 10 dollers he could rap up his old
Grandmother, on s minnits notiss. I an
swered the irrevcrent cuss, with a strong
infushun ov moral stamina, az follers-
(for full ~partiklars, go and hear the LEX
tur.)
"EarsR."-This communication il re-
spekfully devoted to the sublime science
ov painting-not hous painting-but pix
ter painting. The lekturer dug not claim
to kno anything about the art, but IL alive
tew the necessity ov talking stiff on the
sabjeck. And here let me suggest to the
meek and sorryful ov my sex, don't be
afraid sew Civ yure opinyun at emmy time
ov night.
"Gtstaruu."-This letter il sum peril
nent remarks on the Goose, which don't
interest emmy other folks but the goose.
"Unkle Darid."-A family correspond
ence. in which the joys and sorrows ov the
family circle are freely discussed. It il
almost tew sakred for the naked eye.