The Union flag. [volume] (Jonesborough, Tenn.) 1865-187?, 1865-08-25
Josh Billing on Counting.

josh Billing Oh 70 urIlHSs
Counting is II luxury, it is ice water,
it is tho pla spell Of the sole. Tho
man who has never courtcd has lived
in vain; he has been blind man
among landscapes, he has been def
man in the land of hand organs, and
by tho side nv murming canals.
Counting is like two little springs NV
water that start out from under
rocll'at the foot nv mountain, and
run down hill! side By side, singing dan
cling and scattering each other ed
dying and fiothing and kaskading,
now hiding under the bank, now full
w shedess till by-am-byth 5ine, and
thcn' thcysso slow, | am IN favor OF
long courtihg3 it giv6s the pnrtiesA
chance to find out each others trump
cards. 1t is exercise, and is jist as i'm
noccnt rs 2 merrccncr lambs
Counting is like strawberries and
crcam-vants to be did slow, then
you cit the flavor. ! have seen folks
git acquainted, fall in luv, git married,
settle down and git to work, in thrcc
weeks from date. This is jst the VIA
sum folks larn n trade-a kounts for
the great number Of almighty mean
mcchanichs and the poor jobs tbcy
turn out.
Perhaps it is best should state sum
good advice to young men who are
about to court with view to matri-
mony, rs it was.
In the first place, yung men, yu
want to git yuro system awl right,
and then find yung woman who is
willing to be courted on the square.
The next thing is to find Ont how
old she is which yu can do by askin
her, and she will sn she is 10 years old,
and this yu will find wont be far off
the wa.
The next thing is to begin moder-
ate sd once every mite in the week for
the last six months, increaSin the dose
rs the pashunt seems to require.
1t is IL tust rate wa tn court the
girls mother u little on tho start,
there is ! thing II woman never dcs-
pises, and that is little good courtcn,
if it is done on the square.
After the fust year you will git ac- :
quanten and viii beginsto like the biz
ness.
There is | thing l always advise,
that is not to swop foriygratsS oitcncr
than onst in every l6 dazc, unless you
forget how the gal looks.
Occasionally yu want to look sorry
and draw in yurc wind as tho yu had
pain; this will set the girl to teezing
yu to find out what ails yu..
Evening meetings are y good thing
to tend. 1t will keep yuro religion in
tune, and if your gal happens to be
there, hi accident, she can ask yu to
go homo with her
Az gincral thing, | woodn't Drag
on other girls much when | was cour-
tin. 1t might look rs though yu knr
tcw much
If yu court three weeks in this wa,
all the timo on the square, if yu don't
say it is the slcekcst time Of yurc life,
you can go tn the Young America"
cheap store and git measured for it.
Don't court for mummy nor buty,
nor relashuns; those things are just
about as the kerosene io refining bizi-.
ness-liabc to get ont Of repair and
bust at any mint. Court gal for
fun, for the love you bear her, for tho
virtue and bizincss there il in her; for
q wife or for ~ mother, court her rs yu
would court n farm for tho sic.
Court her in the kitcbeD over tho
wash-tub, and at tho pianner; court
this wa, yung man and if yn don't git
wife, the fault won't be in tho courtin
Yung man, yu can roly on Josicr
Billings, and if you can't make these
ruos work, .jist send for him, and no
wjll.sbow-yu how the thing is did--it
shant cost yu sent.
On last Sunday, says tho Argus,
Mr.. VIM. Williamson, was killed
by stroke oflightning near his house,
in Upton county.
Tho Cincinnati COmmcrclal
thinks thcrc are enough brigadiers in
the service to officer million Of men,
and says it is an extravaganza tho
country can i'll afford, 1t suggests
that most of them should resign.
Tho Memphis Bulletin says =
" The fastest way under the sun to BIO
a.grcat man is to got something now
fcred severely from tho grashoppcrs
ovcry day. There are iow men who
nro not great in some way" But get
ting up now things is not your forte.
---Wo loarn that tho crops between
Chattanooga ond Clevclanc have snf-
Tho Same reports rcch us in relation
to tho crops in Northern Georgia