Evansville daily journal. (Evansville, Ind.) 1863-1866, 1865-12-13
Waterfalls were kent 10 bio pudding

Waterfalls were kept in q big pudding
bag, and fattened upon horse hair. 1t
was not a diseaseito have this unless you
had it. too bad. In the mean time pre-
pare for the worst, for no one knows
what will come next
Counting is like strawberry and cream,
it ought to be taken slow. One should
read Pilgrims Progress--it would sustain
him under his trials. He would advise
one to be polite to his dear ones mother.
After six or seven years he might be the
pall-barer at another fellows marriage
with her.---.--.--sz--...--...-
Beauty is like the rainbow, full of
promise hut short-Iived. The fool cacles
before and the hen after the egg is laid.
Ira man hatters you he is a knave or
you fool If you have az itching for
fame go into the graveyard and rub
yourself against the stones. A man
that can wear collar all week is not fit
for much else. A man With one idea 10
like a goose trying to hatch paving.
stone
Manifest destiny 10 like being at a
phase before you get there. He thought
once be had manifest destiny; it broke
outin the shape of poetry. The arswer
was, young man you may be fool, but
you are no poet. 1880. -. =
BashfuIness soon wears off; modesty
never does. The former often conceals
ignorance; the latter virtue. If man
begins life by being q second lieutenant
in q family, he will never get higher.
The good OF life consists in playing
ones poor cards well. Man WAS created
q little lower than the eagles, and he
has been getting a little lower ever
since s~ E.e 40
On the war question he was in favor
of liberty or death, though he preferred
the former. He was in favor of putting
down the rebellion, if it took the last
dollar Of his relatives money. = All his
family had been celebrated for their
keeping the motto Discretion is the
better part of valor." Young men for
war and old men for COUNSEL he would
do the latter part.
He would state the Southern Rebellion
was closed on account of death in the
family. JEFF. Davis ia now living retired,
and is the guest Of the United States,
refusing to receive any company. He
tried hard to make "sUGy p0rd sister"
Of himself, but failed; owing to a mis-
understanding between Colonel Prich. |
ard and himself The days of chivalry |
are over, and slavery il likewise dead. |
They both died Of the same disease-
yellow fever.
He had never visited among the Nor
mons, but he understood that they we're
q numerous people, fond Of female soci
ETY.; married Young, and the principal
were Mermons.
A good life is worth more than long
one, and nobody but fool would like
this side of the grave.
IL lover wants to kiss girl, he
would advise her never to say anything,
but let the thing take its own course
he would like to fight ii ont on this
line, II it took all winter. He would I
speak Of dogs, ysriously inclined and
various in number. They liked 60 lick
Dne's hands, thiashows that their hearts
are where their tongues are. Newfonnd-
and dogs are useful TO keep children
rom drowning, but ifyou have not the
pond and the children around, they are
Dot, profitable. Sheep-dogs ara not pro-
stable, if any one has TO buy flock of
sheep for them Lsp-dogs are only
useful to hold in ones lap Thus,
Ihopgh dogs are useful, they are not
profitable. Bat one thing that
cannot be bought is the wsg Of 9 dogs
all "
The only way to keep mules 10 o pas
ure is to turn them into an adjacent
ield and let them jump over. They
eed generally on blackberry bushes.
They have no disease thas good club.
ling will not cure. He had known one
o be good six months in order to kick
omebody. He had heard of mule
alIing into the Erie Canal, which sunk
10 soon as Untouched the bottoms and
lrew the boat along, breathing through
Is ears, which extended two feet and q
iali above the water. This. / ssbelieved,
IN the authority Of an auctfoneer, and
hey never tell an untruth, except when
t is convenient. Men cannot tell half
he time what catches Them. SO he could
rive no, good rules about cnnrtshipstI
Men only know that they do get caught
n the worst kind Of ways 19' s'it -,
He did notssuppose that either Jonah
or the whale understood the swallowing
He, did mot know what Jonah
lid in the whale society, but Yankee
would have rugged a rudder on it, steer
ID 1t into port, and sold il for big pre-
MUM, or taken out petroleum shares
He only furnishes autographs By the |
package. He had once given q friend
an autograph at ninety days, and had
since gene optlof the business dissatis-
fed with the results.
In conclusion, he felt it his duty to
state that only one thing had occurred
this evening TO awaken in his confding
breast Sentiments of sadness as the guest
IF this audience of brEveamen and con-
and that was that the
nall would hold q. Jetp more Of them >