The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1865-08-15
COSIICALITIEs.
''AtIic WIt'' at the Royal DranlatI,
College in England.

-
tanning number of comicalities, more
or less funny, contributed by n party of
well-known English writer's 10 recent
fair for the benefit of the Royal ORA.
matte College.
Below we give few tastes of what is
called "Attic wit"-perhaps because
most of ii seems to have originated in
the sky-parlors of Grub Street:
ATTIRE OF SMALL JOKES.
The paper states that somebody has
been chipping pieces off fthemonument-
nj bust of BunyHn. What of it? De-
stroying II bItniOn must of course be a
grent help to the l)iigIfnr's progress.
The reason why policemen are never
run over is that they are neVer IN the
TGy.
a young lady's first love-kiss has the
same effect on her as being electrified.
It's n grent shock, but soon over.
WAREING TO LADIEs.-Tattle begins
NEW DEEINIToN.-NIasc mil
lionaire; feminine, million hejreSS.
May not bird who sleeps upon the
wing, be said to occupy n feather bed2
What is the use of signing and weep
ing hs we tlont down the stream of
Time? Why mako the voyage of life a
lCdilimg voyage? s5
Human existence hinges upon trifles.
What would beauty be~withOut Soap
We often hear of 'tfashionabIe mar
riages," but never of fashionable
deaths.
ON SOME ACKNOWLEDGED FACTs-AN
EssAY-BY OUR own sKEPrIc.
"Tiro and t,ro are fo.Cr.o Are they ?
That shows how much you know about
it. saw young ladies' school out
walking the other day, They wore
"two and two,m and / counted thcm.-
They were forty!
'IirO IcrOHIs don't make one P'igIit.f u
Don't they? Whit ridiculous state
1nenLS are received as aNiOuns. Two
wrOngs-such, for instance as finding a
railway trani some hours behind Its
time, and then being swindled at the
railway hotel, where you are in conse-
qucnce compelled to pass the night
are the very things to s'Inalle one write
| to the Times or other court of appeal
''It'S a long Iauc that has no turning. >
1 Ridiculous nonsense! / walked the
othor day, on purpose to ascertain the
fact, tho whole length of "Long Lane, ,
Smithtield. 1t had Mt lenst fourteen
"turningS" out of it. counted them
"'-4lL'S far ia lore" Not bit of it
| Or how on earth would the bruRctLeS
who are by no means "fair," ever ge
ISWetluedTlSg Z WllcIl tileN 10 10 MY GER
tain Acknowledgements frequently.
Tic Uhole is greater than a part
! No such thing. l have known a few
| leading actors in my time, anu have
generally found that ''pnrt" is deem
ed of considerable more importanc,
than the completeness of 1.-THE whole
F'IHc shortest Iray GetCceR any TIC,
T,oii.ts is III U straight Lne." All 1 h1ve I,
say regarding this grossly absurd axiom
is, that the propounder of it never ut
tempted to walk home after n dinner a
the Freemasons'-or he would not tall
so glibly about n straight line" Ihavt
personally made the experiment, ant
| found
But this is nothing to the purpose.
4 From the Freemasons' Tavern, Grea
! Queen street, Lineoln's Inn Fields don
imagine don't know what am about
4 From the Ereemasons'-hOme- not
straight line, and never was since
have known it.
u q. +. d.
Il And II the Editor likes to stand bot
q tie of soda-water I've no objectiOp-a3,