The Xenia sentinel. [volume] (Xenia [Ohio]) 1863-186?, 1865-05-19
"Briok" Pomoroy Strikes Peter Olaum.

Petroleum. you are the Pete for me !
Else why? Mr. Moses smote the rock,
and exceeding much Of the oil treacled
forth. And am rich oiso To find so
much grease, doth we'll a~grease with me.
1 skirmished from garret upon the oil
region. Ever since. / became born, my
poverty has been hard to be borne L
have suffered Il have been bored by cred
itors My credit was run into the. ground.
People thought me rich meanwhile, and
very meanwhile it was, too They thought
had plenty of money; 50 they wanted
pay down for what I bought. Not wish
ing to humOr people, albeit something ola
humorist, perhaps, 1 will not purchase
many things. I leased, l bored, I bought
it l. Veni, vidi, Wei O1Ai! IIe-iI
Grease-i! Oils well that ends we'll es-
pecially if it is an oil we'll I bored and
it came I drilled a hole through a rock,
and already have been rewarded with so
much Of the fuel being prepared for the
final confpgration, that I fear the last boil
will end in as great a fzzle as did the
Dutch Gap Canal.
And now I am rich more rich than
any man or any other. I have lots of
money now, when I have no use for it.
What queer world Nothing like oil
Folks say, 'HolIo! here's Honorable Mr.
Brick, Just struck fortune Deuced6ne
fellow, Mr.. Brick Three months siuce
I was plain " "Brick /" It's all owing to
Petroleum. GU.
And now for splurge. Brown-stOne
house Fifth Avenue, with brown stone
| front designed by old Brown himself, on
both ends of it. Red horses with green
tails, pink eyebrows, blue eyes, chocolate
c1lored ears, frizzled mIne AMI mltchless
style Yellow wagon with black sides,
purple blinds and brown top, Ia clam
she'll Ethiopian driver with white kids,
solferino stockings, magenta hatband, and
false teeth on gutta Percha base. And
sixty -four oxstave ethiopiano with brOca-
teIle drawers, that mOdesty may not be
shocked by looking at the legs thereof!
And a library devoted to red backs aud
even "greenbaeks "Darn the expense,
quothe l Aud III have a park in the
woodshed, and bathing tub full of oil in
Church, aud a wild buffalo to steak from
and oysters as large as Lincoln's ma
jority, aud boots with round toes and
square heels, and a seat in some fashion
able church, and new hoop skirts for all
my hired girls, and 1 will employ so ma
ny niggers to wait on me, that oil LII
have to do, will be to be happy. Oh Pete!
Let me kiss you for your Ma. And III
lay bed mornings, and sit up all night,
and bore my friends oil day, till they
can't bare.l it! Talk about honest indus~
try, saving wood for the dust, opening
oysters for the shells, blackiug boots mere
ly to see your face in them, and being
honest forty years waiting some rich man
to adopt you! Played Petroleum IS
the boy. And now I'll live high. Out
of my house, vain pomp! Away from
me cold cuts, crackers, cheese, the mush
boiled, No. 5 mackeral, warmed up soup,
and brilliant appetites. @Eve struck Pete !
Now, when-I go on the street, folks
run to the windows and smile. And they
smile al. me on the Street And they ask
me to smile in Ginual Cock Tails house
And they all have kind word. o, Pete !
you're the Roleum for me Things in my
limited kingdom ism as they used to once
was Farewell, ragged habiliments.
Goodbye, hungry stomach Oil River,
cold shoulder Its oil right now. Ten
years go-Buggins wouldn't speak to me,
cause wasn't we'll financially speaking.
Buggins is now as cordial as horse -radish
or hot whiskey. And when 1 would we'd
lock those rich girl who SO sweetly was
unto me, her cruel parents said, 80, poor
but honest youth, entice thyself hence 81! e
And I enticed-nobOdy Now, those
girl, and cruel parents, wish me to call
How are you, bettered circumstances ? 1t
is good to remember oil these things And
the time dWell5 ii those fond recollectlOns
of mine as how I was not wanted at fash
ionable parties. Now the doors fly wide,
aud ebony angels Of shoddy swing the
panels for me to enter and reYel. D, Pete !!
you're oil right, my boy - 4
Money! More than would wad a CO.
lumbian Everybody is willing to trust
me now. 1 have noneed for credit. Rich
FiOlks are deuCed glad,to see me. Ihey
bow verv low to me now. They didn't
once. Great is Peter Oleum, and boring
is its profit Just to think OF 1t. How
I used to once dig potatoes on shares
turn crindstones for fuu-milk cows for
the buttermiIk cotton strings for suspend
ers-b9ss's old shoes or freeze toes-hlred
mans hat or get tanned second table or
not at alI-"dirty fingered type stieker-
or poor mechanic-go afoot or stay be
hind Oil is a dream now. Sure, hlla-
rious days, Tor poverty are over, and shod-
dy is indeed envi0us.
Guess can kiss Matilda Jerusha now,
and her dad won't object, for I've struck
lie! Reckon tailor will have time to
make these raintments for me this week.
Think landlord won't insist upon my NOV
inc out of his abdoe Things is working
now. Another vein isopeuedi Aud you
don't know how nice it is. If l 50 on
"bumv folks looks over it now. When L
was Door they looked into it. can kick
boot blacks, snub poor people, break car
windows, throw goblets at walters, visit
questionable places, hurrah for any man
wish to, wink at whose wife l wish to, tie
nv team to shade trees, stand on church.
cushions with dirty feet jam peoples
hats down over their eyes, tell man ne
is liar, spit on the carpet, get drunk or
sober, swear or not as please, and Its oll
right, for I've struck Pete And can
sit up oil night, and raise much h-armo-
ny. No one objects. Mrs. Sdggins says
I am the incest man she ever sawed, Mrs.
Piggerly says l is the most delighhnagest
gentleman She ever snowed The Stg-
.. ---, ~. ,.-..1 r-. 4bot I am