The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1865-04-15
RIETY.

The master is the eye of the house.
An egg to day is better than hen tomorrow.
Trust some few. but beware of all men.
Think much and often, speak little and write less.
To forgive injuries is noble and God-like re-
veuge.
To know how to be content with q little is not q
morse for fools mouth
How beautiful can time, with goodness, make sn
old man look
The first degree OF folly is think ones self wise;
the to tell others so the third to despise all
counsel
THERE'S r phrenologist in London who can tell
the contents of barrel by examining the head. He
makes the examination with gimlet.
GRAMMATICAL HISTs.-Nany plans have been pro-
posed for reducing orthOgraphy 10 some regular
system, and improving our language in various ways
We might Introduce into our language distinction
Of genders, which IL has hitherto been defective
For example:
Hemise and Shemise
Here, without the use Of an article. any change
Of termiLatiOu we have the needful distinction made
more couspicuously than by hic and hRc, le and Ia
other articles serving for other purpose
Again, in letter-writing, every person knows that
male and female letters have distinct character;
they should, therefore, be generally distinguished
thus:
Hepistle and Shepiste.
And. as there is the marked difference in the
writing Of the two sexes, | would propose
Penmanshp and Penwomanship.
Erroneous opinions in religion being promul gated
in this country by women as we'll men, the teach
srs Of such false doctrines may be divided into
Heresiarchs and Sheresarchs,
so that we should speak of
The heresy Of the Quakers,
The sheresy Of Joanna SOuthcOte's people
The troublesome affection Of the diaphragm, which
every person has experienced. il, upon the
principle TO be called according 10 the of the
patient,
Hecups and Shecups,
which, upon the principle Of making our language
fru1 Rrifi ia batte a.
OF
Hiccups and Heccups.
In its objective use the word becomes
Hiscups and Hercups;
and in like manner Histories should be altered into
Herterics, the complaint never being masculine
THs Doctor, by SOathey.
The MYSTERIOUS PIASo.-Not long since lady
Maid a visit 10 some friends out Of town She saws
IN the family three young ladies, besides young
children. Being musical, spent the greater part
of the first evening Of my visit in singing and play
ing, and proper hour retired for the night,
supposed. As was u great tavorIte with all the
girls each one wanted sleep with me, and effect
this It was decided that instead Of going my
should remain in their double bedded room. Ac
coFdingly. instead of going to sleep, we lay and
talked (as girls often dO) for some hours. Mlly
touched on the arm in the middle Of a most in
teresting account giving her of the opera and
certain regular attendants there, and said:
- c, do you hear that?'
&" Hear what; l do not listen to people when
they are not talking to me- naturally supposing
she referred to Margaret and Fanny, who were in
the other bed.
There now. girls. don't you hear it, Some
is playing on the piano
WHO can it be - said AIIly. 'sWhy did you
not lock it. Fanny it is your place to do it,
Well said Fanny, - L did; and the key is in
the pocket Of my dress
This. Of course, We would not believe. So, trem-
bling from head foot, she got up, dark It was
and found the dress with the key in its pocket All
this while heard the piano, sounding in single
scales from top bottom. aud vice versa but pro-
ducng the most wonderful quality Of tone, resem-
bling those Of musical box more than anything
else
We had all heard OF spirits, and were quite sure
there III the house. for II probable
that any Of children would be up that hour OF
the night. So IL decided that We should hold
each other by the hand and 20 the hall TO the
fathers room. All this time, the scales were being
played OF the piano, If one had been ordered
% practice for hour. We succeeded in awakening
Mr. W, and in few minutes he out with a
light IN his hand, when formed a procession after
him, with chattering teeth but withaI eager faces,
for our curiosity stronger than our fear. We
entered the parlCr enough the piano is shut
and locked, while the gamut IS being played regu-
larly and distinctly The father asks for the kew;
AL the girls scream out At once:
Don't open II; it must be spirits
But Mr.. W. does not believe in piano-playing
spirits, and opens the instrument. while all
huddled together. and excaims:
- Gracious me, it's q mousse
How We laughed and screamed, snd locked for the
little animal, but IL Of use, mOusy had pTao-
tIsed his lesson and gone.
IL was easy account for the Of his play
ng ss ne was too small 10 skip note. aud therefore
I~4shst every cote