Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1865-09-21
sWapsiae Gatheriugs.

-aWhen I am man" is the poetry Of
childhood. "When was q child" is the
poetry of age. :.
Why is watchdog larger at night than
he is in the morning? Because he is let
out at night and taken IN in the morning.
An Irishman, who had been fined sever.
al weeks in succession for getting drunk,
cody proposed to the judge that he should
take him by the year ct a reduced rate.
1t is estimated that there are now at
least $4,000 copies Of the BIBLE in. exis-
tehce and yet how ignorant many people
are of its contents.
Sydney Smith said there were three
things which every man fancied he could
do-farm small property, drive gig, and
edit newspaper. 80
1t is the opinion of the doctor that the
lawyer gets his living by plunder, while the
lawyer thinks the. doctor gets his by stpil-
lage."
When the stopper Of glass decanter
is too tight, cloth wet with hot water and
applied to the neck will cause the glass to
expand, and the stopper may easily be re.
moved
"A rich journeyman printer is found out
west. He is being exhibited with ring
tailed monkeys, wild hogs, shaved horses,
three legged calves, and other trinkets.
In the French army the soldiers during
the winter wear wooden bottom shoes. The
result is, that the French army is less af-.
flicted with toothache and rheumatism than
any army in the world.
Mr.. Gripes, the usurer, to whom six
pense always looked as large as cartwheel,
is in the of holding his breath while
the tailor measures him, SO that his garments
will require less cloth. -
- The Nicaragua flag consists of two blue
stripes with a white stripe between them,
the latter stripe is twice as wide as the for.
mer.. In the middle of the white stripe is
to be red star with five points.
A minister out West advertises, in the
hope of making you people come forward,
that during the warm weather he will mar
ry them for Ga glass of whiskey, dozen
Of eggs, the first kiss of the bride, and q
quarter Of pig"
- DR.. Lancaster, of London, says that
there are twelve thousand women in that
city who murdered their children
But good many brats have been allowed
to grow up there that should have been
murdered. -. ~.
The Gloucester News tells of man
who lost favorite COW, and who wound UP
his eulogy on her by saying: "She was as
handsome as schoolmarm." 1t must be
great relief to know that the question of
schoolmarm's beauty can now be easily de-
oided.
In 1852, an English ship stranded near
Rochelle, Westchester county, New York.
Such have been the changes in the sea that
the wreck now lies in the midst of culti-
vated field, thirteen feet above the sea, and
around it are 1000 acres of cultivated
land. @ - .'.
"A Western boatmau had fallen into the
Mississippi, and was sinking for the last
time; comrade who was trying to save
him, was about to relinquiSh his hold, when
the dying man exclaimed: "Hang on,
Sam hang on I'll treat say I vii" "
1t is needless to add that he was saved.
Ignorant people are to be addressed
through the eye. If you want to pass for
great man with blookhead, sport hun
dred dollar cloak and a fifty dollar watch.
key. An ignoramus thinks that he, alone
has sssterling" parts, who exhibits shirt
buttons m..de of bullion. Make note.
- The Eastern Argus tells about one of
its subscribers calling at the Office, wearing
hat which he had worn for the last forty
years! 1t was still good hat, and looked
as though it would last forty years more.
The owner said that the changes of style
made it fashionable hat every FIVE or six
years!
A crazy woman, living near Rydal, was
asked if she ever saw Wordsworth, and
what sort of man he was. go, indeed"
said She, "he is canny enough at times;
and though he goes .booing his poetry Gre.
peating his poetry through the woods, he
will now and then say, 'How do you do,
Nanny2 as sensible as you orI I"
Shoua 1potra wbep miYe3 With turnen
tine and applied in the usual manner, is
blacker, more glossy and durable, than if
put on with any other liquid. The turpen.
pine prevents rust-and when put on an
old rusty stove, will make it look as well as
new. The odor of the turpentine passes
off quickly.
"A young gentleman, very eonceited and
vain of himself, and who. by-the-by, was
rather despised, with face much pitted by
the small. pox, was addressed by chap,
who, after admiring him for some time,
said, when carved work comes in fashion,
you'll be the handsomest man I ever put
my eyes on"
The Rev. Mr.. Damon says that during
residence of twelve years at Honolulu, he
did not know of single instance of yes.
sci, sailing under the Hawaiian flag, that
left port on the Sabbath. Mr.. Damon ex.
presses bis belief that the Christian element
is more influential among the Hawaiian peo.
pie than any other nation that can be
named.