Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1865-11-17

"Star Freight ~ discol,lses as follows
in the Chicago Railroad Gdsettc :: r. >e
lialena Is net altogether n gone-to-
seed town, though it is gone-too-seeder
than it would be if Dubuque didn't
rather scoop it,.i,i the way of trade -
Gaiena has furnished much lead and
Gen. Grant, in subduing rebellion. BY
tho way, tried to be Gen. Grant to-day.
/ Went up to li5 Main street, where tie
General used to buy hides In his BROTH
ers store, and stood on the step. Clos
ell my eyes, and imagined my name
was Ulysses, and that had on d little
I leather apron, and was honest, md
didn't always spell correctly, and never
E made speeches. and was Iahoring for $40
Z per month Then "ttrned backward
I u Time in thy flight,o about five years,
and wondered what could do for my
distracted country. Thus l stood in
< deep, black study, for about forty con-
secutive seconds, and really got TO feel
! ing quite Granty, and wondered wheth-
er, when i opened my eyes, my eyes
each shoulder. Almost feared to open
them at all in fear they Wouldn't; and
they didn't. Asked Galener at that
moment passing, If he took me to be
Gen. Grant, and his profane reply was:
mo; / take you to be q darncd fool!v
Now the 0iscoBlft of the country milk
maid, in Webster's old spelling book,
was not SO great when her pail of milk
tambled off her head, as mine was at
being thus estimated. How I'm the
world did that fellow find 1t out? I
can't be Gen. Grant, no more than l
can "climb to where Moses stood.''--
There stood where U. s. had stood
thousand times, but IL Moses had stood
I,nrr l.f L. n L.
Ulyss. Nose might beat Ulyss I'm
getting up fireworks; but ri bet $50
Ulyss neyeY'd have been forty years Ii,
generalinG1tbosc Israeliters out Of Egypt
George Mcclellan might have Penin-
sula-campaigned them through in fifty
or sixty, and had mama, and lOcusts-
and-wild-asses the only quartermaster's
stores, But If those ham-repudiating
Jews were satisfied with: Nose, / GER
tainly am with Ulyss, although can't
be him, nor nowhere near enough like
him to have the citizens of Galcna give
me splendid, newly house
which Is on an hin and cannot be hid,
with sidewalk built clear up to it,
" All men have tbei.i fortes," and my
forte is not being n Lieutcnant-G General.
I'D be better Boston Lancer. @
#s3 E3 ----e-s-e- . = 4---------s 5gs ls.g#
oLO buiIiDltDec, wis Tilt COSiiO-
men of Mr.. r., Of Newburyport. He
gained the title from the fact of his
catching bumblebee one day, as he
was shingling his barn, and i'm attempt
ing to destroy the insect with hatchet,
cut of the ends of his thumb and fore
finger, letting the insect go unharmed.
Uncle r., In one of his ObliviOus freaks
nailed his left arm go firmly between
two boards Of a fence he was putting up
that he had to call for assistance TO get
extricated from his self Imprisonment |
He once put button on gate instead |
of the post. But the rarest freak of all
was when he ran through the streets, |
with his hands about three -feet nsunder, |
held before him. begging tho passcrsby
not to. disturb him, as he had got the |
measure Of doorway with him.
sstY 10 H9f Z q s4ft /
An extraordinary billiard match has |
just been completed between to well /
known citizens of Denyer. They agreed |
To play for 500 q game of one hundred
points, and to continue il without sleep |
ing, eating or cessation until the party
most exhausted should agree to forfeit .
$500 to the other. II lasted for twenty T
four hours, and $1,000 was lost BY the
superior player, who gave odds Of forty |
points, to his antagonist, and the victor /
paid the forfeit Of 500. During the lat |
ter portion of the cpntsI the stakes |
KIN