The Cadiz sentinel. [volume] (Cadiz, Ohio) 1864-1911, 1865-09-20
NEW SERIES---VOLUME 1, NO s.
shirts and How 10 Make them
FIT.


A long time ago, undertook the super
vision Of set of the aforesaid garments, in
cluding, of course, their wearer. Ii was
the hight Of my young ambition that the
man should be exactly fitted by his shirts,
concerning which he began to make COM
plants Just one month after | took him in
charge.
"What is the matter with them?" l meek
ly inquired.
'1here isn't single one that fits mel
Totally unsuspicious of the inherited
wickedness eff the article conterned, l fiat
tered myself that the difficulty would be
easily remcdied. So / ripped here and
basted there, pulled up this shoulder and
pulled down that till thought had got it.
Mistaken mortal! it would not fiji / made
another series of experiments with equally
futile results. Then consulted one or two
friends, end felt sure | had at last discover
ed where the shoe-I mean the shirt
pinched. applied cure, but the thing
wasn't cured. Next employed tailor tc
try his skill. Not one whit better. The
man was getting, and was getting, desper.
ate. As last resort | summoned a eounci
of sewidg society women and we went into
committee of the whole. For some hour;
we expended our united wits ON single
shirt, often subjecting the lvekless owner tc
successive trials of the garment.
Don't that now fit your neck exactly
asked the head of the conspiracy, as for the
torty-ftth time we gathered round our vic
tim. a.-
why, yes" with a charming smile o.
relief, and twisting his head about expert
mentally; really, can't suggest any i'm
| provement
"Ohl be joyful exclaimed ]. clappins
my hands. 80
Suppose, said one of the wise womer
looking at me over her glasses, as if somt
very importent idea had struck her; sup
| pose we cut out a new shirt on the improved
plan, and if that suits take pattern from
! it."
Agreed cried I. quite jubilant, anc
ran to chest for the cotton.
So we cut basted and tried on--sewet
and tried on-starched-ironed and tried on
Capital" affirmed the representative O
the lordly sex not thread amiss 1t il
the first time in my life that a shirt has ex
actly fitted me. y ....- r. iii. .....t .4.... ,.
As grateful memorial made up 81,
new ones after that identical pattern. W,
entered on our triumphant epoch. Wo,
worth the day? Must | own that befor,
forty-eight hours had scarce passed, tina
exactly fitted individual called me aside
and pointed with cruel significance to hi
neck.
Il am very sorry" said he with tn,
blandest air in the world Il suppose you
mistake came from your great desire not t,
choke me.
Mistake! choke you" echoed I convul
sively, not little tempted to try the lat
! ter. '.. ....
Don't be troubled-it only requires
light altcration-a trifle cut out of the bind
ing. You see it rather large
"Why couldn't he have found it out be
fore?" to myself Then aloud with grea
dignity: Tell me precisely how much t.
cut out " ....'
"Well | should say about an inch.
"About an inch. y muttered sarcastical
ly. adding with burst of Indignation, .
believe the mischief is all in your neck
which dilates an contracts on purpose t
to ment me. "
He smiled kindly on my wrathful tears
and |, when the shirt was rough dry
dutifully cut out the inch, basted the bind
ing and tried it on! ..... ..
That is just what it wanted. 1t doe
very nicely now, you see, working his chil
up and down.
Yes | see. did before. " 80. ... .
practice makes perfect and this tim'
you hit the nail on the head
When the change was completed he once
more tried on the shirt. and unequivocall,
assured me that 1T fitted to IT, So
made the same alteration in the other five
and sat down to take bit of comfort.
Can you imagine what next happened. II
the course of fortnight the man gave me al
invitation to ride with him, which | was on
ly too happy to accept. How extremcl,
gracious and agreeable he was! ] nigh
have suspected something was coming. From
one thing to another he led the conversation
till finally he approached the old hatefu
topic (he had on one of his new shirts.
II don't mind my vexation, remarked
], innocently, "now that you are at las
suited " " "
Then supposing the matter at rest,
turned to more pleasant subject. Blu
coming back to shirts again his face assume,
such depreciatihg lock that | exclaimed
in alarm dana a.,f au
Nothing ails them now; | hope"
"Only d very little thing, and easily al
tered. In your fear of getting them to-
large, they are trife too spall--only tn
fe." ' ....H -'.. '..
My heart swelled, but | uttered not
word, When we reached home | made hin
measure off on his forefnger exactly hov
much he wished inserted. The shirt h
had on happened to be the identical on,
| had first altered. ] was fortunate enough
to discovar in my work baket the very piec,
had cut out. And Twas malicious enough
to exult at its proving the exact measure 0
the addition wanted. So | sewed it il
again, repeating to myself all the while
oh! the crotchcty-ness of mani Will 70,
believe me when whisper it confdentally
that after all this, for many years, alterna
ted between cutting out and rutting in th'
selfsame pieee--the mans neck invariably
playing me false. Oflate, however, / hey'
dropped abe labor OF sewing, having dis
covered that pinning over one week and re
pinning the next answers all the purpose.
The victim of this perpetual change Si
lently acquiescts in the inevitable arrange
ment; and what is better he has learned t,
do the thing himself There is shir
hanging over achair in his chamber at thi
moment. have had the curiosity to g,
and exarine it, as | have been writing.
| fud it is TIE pinn;ng over w,n k.
.c L I'll