Daily State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1861-1865, 1865-04-11
ORGANIZING SANITARY COMMISSION
SOCIETIES.
r,epor, Of an ..au,hor,xea agent,

The following admirable snd quizziral d.
patch is addressed 10 the secretary OF the United
States Sanitary Commission, braUch OF which
Is lOcated al San Francisco. We extract from
The News Letter snd Mining Journal OF that
city. For direct and cutting sarcasm. IL will
commend ITSELF TO the lovers OF the ridiculous:
DEAR STA in compliance with your sugges
ton. report that. as the authorized ecent OF the
Sanitary Commission. after getting put up 10 a
thing two by you, ] started from San Fran
cisco, carrying neither purse OF script, IN fact
without rel cent in my pOckef: | organized =
society at Watsonville; there il a very good DO
tel there; had a good bed breakfast. dinner
and supper, fifteen drinks and eight segars
followed your instructions. The landlord told
me what Owed. told him to lay up biz treas
ures in Heaven, and that was Sanitary Com
MISSION agent be said he wished he'd known
il before told him about treasures in Heaven
again; he said: There is fifteen dollars gone TO
HI" Mistaken man Perhaps il will do him
more good there than in Heaven He'll never
call for il there left him l am glad it is
raining. il will make matters so much better for
the Sanitary Commission
After bleeding jacksonville es much as il
would stand. went to PiscadeTo. celebrated
tor lis potatoes. which are called "spuds' in this
section OF the country. They kind. eener
Gus, hOspitable people. aud, as natural c0nse-
quence, loyal | told ms landlord here tha.
hadn't got a cent, and he said under those cir
cumslances he could not think of charging me
anything he wished 10 know how much We
charged for putting down a mans name ant
place Of business with subscription of $3.50
against il, and offered me S. rejected his pro
position with scorn; took the FIVE dollars
Fancy turning the sanitary commission into d
cheap advertising medium! | organized q So
or in SAM Ia Cruz an ~ 81
on, of the people. trust trade will soon in
crease here, for the sake Of the sanitary commits
sion I then went to Squeakville. fourshing
little town with ninety five inhabitants | organ
lied a soldiers aid society here The landlord
of the hotel killed rooster which he'd had in
the family eight wears, in honor OF my coming
| ate part OF il; | would do am thing to advance
the sanitary commission. The landlords little
daughter-a fl ixen-haired little cberub of nine
summers-gave ne "bit'' for The poor soldiers
| had to spend the dear chids humble offering
at the bar OF copperhead rum seller in neigh
boring town who. when mentioned the sanitary
commission after having nv parched lips with q
whisky straight, cried: - The Sanitary commits
sion be id II YOU don't plank down a bit
for that drink, the first thing YOU know you'll get
your jaw in a sling The mercenary N al
then ~ent to Monterey, which il much in
jured by the dIouh; this rain will DO the santa
~ commission much good. | did not make
much here. got dead headed az YOU told me
shOuld.On all the stages, very easily, with one
exception This driver, on my telling him thar
| was the agent of the sanitary commission, said
L jnst wish could Get made All agent, too
and you'd catch me driving this stage; on yes,
muchl,! a pretty good thing you felers have
got, and sight Of what you collect will 90 10
the soldiers" We know, dear o. G , that they
won't get a sight. he continued: Why, that
sanitary commission is bigger thing for YOU fel-
lows work i, than Jenny Lind was TO Barnum
or than being superintendent of popular mining
company, and YOU ask ~ be let off your fare
III see you all -" / won't repeat what he
said, nv dear o O.: suffice it to say il was some
thing very irreverent. and, sincerely trust, will
doom the rufian 10 everlasting torment
After he had, in rather strong terms, expsessed
his opinion that the sanitary commission Was =
speculation gotten up for the benefit Of few.
asked him TO let me feel his back Upon doing
so told him it was covered with barnacles, and
that he was 8 fossil. and belonged to the antedi-
luvian age. He retorted, angry. that he didn't
want to be called French names. And left him
as he would, probably, il hid not done 90, per
formed an operation which he described as bust
ing me in thu snoo,. have travelled on nv
shape and sanitary commission. over six hunnred
and thirty miles, and though | have not m tde
such pile you expected | should. | have or
gained 4 good miny societies have rot made
money All of which is most respectfully sub
mitted by your obedienr servant.
NEppY LIGHTFINGFRs VILLAIN