The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1865-12-23
yARIET Y.

man with scolIng WIFE being asked what
his occupation replied that he kept dollhouse.
One day n wag at n farm house old COB
I call introducing cotton into Turkey"
Scene in Of the public Schools of Chicago. \
true story Teacher. - What is a river ?" Pupil.
a small body Of water that smells badly"
A French engineer has experimental in phctOgra-
ply until he has invented an apparatus by which
pictures can be taken IN parlor or anywhere else.
One of comic Fapers Is about publish
portrait Of John Bull in % neutral tints." This
would be the {" unkindest of ALL You have
only to mention the word a. neutral to John, just
now. make him rage ike bull OF Bishan.
Paddy's description of a fiddle cannot be beat
' IL the shape II turkey and the size of goose;
he turned it its side and rubbed its backbone
with stick. AMI Och by ST. Patrick how it did
squale-''
Augustus Doolittle had been in a store about three
months when his employer asked him what part of
the business he liked best. 10 which the elegant
youth replied - Shuttiu' up. sir
woud wit TO Newsboy-.' What's the news
from Jerusalem2 Newsboy-'' Say. mister yer
sharp. ain't yer' If yer ter fall down, don't
yer think you'd cut yourself all ter pieces;'
PROVERBS BY JOSH BmIINGs.-Young men. be
more anxyous about the pcdiygree yure going
Ieeve than yu about the | somebody left you.
There IL only advantage that can see in going
tew the Devil, and that Il, the rode IL easy, and you
are suEe to find the way
When a mans dog deserts him on akownt of his
poyeFti. he can't get emmy lower down in this world
not bi land.
Men ain't apt tew git kickt out good society for
being rich
Two common Yankee NoShuns'' are the noshuns
that skeuel houses cneePer than Stats PTizons,
and that the United States IL liable emmy time
be doubled but ain t liable emmy time be divided.
There Is kind Of kssin that has alwas bin deemed
exuy hazardus Con akount of rej, and that IL kssin
yure uaber's wife Citing the wifes consent don't
seem to make the matter emmy the less risky.
''RoUGH But HoSEST.''-Perbaps so. Such per-
have existed. beyond question The flllacy lies
in the implication that roushness and honesty
naturally twiued; the truth being quite often that
they not in the least related. Good manners and
good morals are Cftener found In company than
rudeness and goodness. Genuine kindness Of heart
rarely fails to produce gentle words and benignant
Couutenauce. Coarse manners either the result
Of n coarse nature. assumed on the strength
Of the rough but honest proverb to get credit
with shallow observers for sincerity that does not
exist. Shakespeare. vino knew thing two about
human nature, not deceived by pretexts OF this
Observe his portrait of of these humbugs:-
This Is some fellow
Who having been praised for bluntness. doth affect
a saucy r1urhuess AMI cOustrajas the garb
Quite from his uature' he cannot fatter, he
An honest mind and ptani-he must speak TRUTH
These kind Cf kuaves know, which in this plainness
Harbor more craft and more corrupted ends
Then twenty silly ciUckiug ohservauts
That stretch their duties nicely
Human nature has greatly changed since the
time OF the great Poet The old tricks all in
vogue, and make, perhaps, rs many dupes ever.
Your genuine - blunt and honest fellow Is at least
toerabe; but the imitatOr Is the disagreeable
OF all the ifnpo=Ors extant. Luckily he Is
show bis real character pretty early day. and is
branded heuceiorth - rough and rascally-'