Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1865-10-21
Som hing About Women AdviC e
From Father TO his Son.

Som hing About Women 49, Advice
From II Father to his Son.
My SoN-Some days since l admins
tered to yen shor. but serious bit Of ad.
vice: concening whiskey straight and whis-
key straight and "hiskey sour; or rather,
as to what eort Of people they are who
drink these alcoholic compounds. Your
trunk is now packed, your boots pinch
your feet no more, the maternal apron
string is Severed, you, sister has distracted
The last twenty-dollar greenback from the
market dole, and you are ready, eager
and ripe for the battle Of life, with all its
mysteries of hard up, and miseries of
down at The heel.
There is one fact, and that is. next to
an hereditary tondnes Ter whiskey, you
have another weakness women. You
need not blush. | always regard the sud-
den flushing of mans face as p'fnsa a.
cie evidence that he has been at some
thing Of which he is ashamed. Now 10
man need be ashamed of having fond
ness for women. 1t is natural 1t is hu-
man. Woman is divine especially after
dinuer, when her temper has been thor.
ougkIy brushed down-G,,toncd out be-
meath a tremendous weigh. of roast beef,
potatoes and apple-.udding. Before din
ner she is variable, sometimes nervous,
and always looking for something she bas
not lost. Commend me, my son to the
woman who dimes heartily, minds her own
business as well as that Of her neighbours;
who does not make tea vat Of herself.
and who can drink Il cup of Young Hy-
son without sweeteniog it with the shreds
Of scandal she has picked up in job lots
in the 3 ct. 4 silent tongue in woman
bespcaketh longevity, love, and the meek
ness of submission.
There are divers kinds Of women, nv
son. Women, were they allklike, would
not be worth much as one of the. iuxuries
of this world. Variety, my dear son. is
which, perhaps accounts for the tendency
Of some married men to 60 abroad after
these comforts which can be had at home,
equally as pleasureable in their nature,
but from long familiarity, do not have the
charm Of novelty. Man will, as he has
always done since The world began, CON
tinue to run after strange geds--par,icu-
larry 1t these strange gods wear crinoline,
have dimpled cheeks, rosy lips, roguish
eyes, and are all the more complaisant
with an increase of worshippers.
Women take to hAttery, my son, as nat
urally as men do to their morning eye
opener. 1t is the sugar of their existence
But woe to the unIuchy wight who does
not understand the art Of administering
it. 1t has to he given withrcars. 1t must
be prepared and put up in doses to suit
the patient, like medicine. Some women
will take lattery IND adulas,on as the
glutton swallows cream taris, and are un-
happy aud miserable if they miss their
daily dose. Others take it well disguised.
The plain un4dorned article dissusts and
makes them qualmish Others. again,
pretend to abhor compliment IN iii its
forms, aud Yet are only FISHING for lar
ger share than Of right belongs to them
AT the first nibble they loss their pretty
heads and curl the inviting lip aud are
ready for Wholesale bite.
Women with lght-oro~n hair aud blue
eyes; of medium hight, plump hands--ah!
my son, they are the women for men to
love, cherish, respect and treat as if they
were angels. Such Angels are never en- >
tertained unawares. No sane man can
ignore their presence. If he does, he
deserves to be kicked to death by shrimps,
The brown haired, b!ue-eyed woman is
amiable in disposition, true as steek and
with him she loves never jealous. Jeal
ousy, my boy, With the majority of wo-
mankind, like variety to man, is the spice
Of their existence. They revel in it, and
like the lotus eaters, get wild, crazy over
it, and finally, either are booked for the
kirkbride Institute, or g of into chron
ic hysteric. A jealous woman is fool,
and with such woman for a wife, the
husband is greater fool than she, if h.
d. not give her cogeut reasons for hob
nobbing with the green-eyed monster.
A red-haired woman is apt to be stead
fast 10 her affections, and to understand
the art Of cooking catfish and baking
shad 10 perfection. She has IL temper not
particularly even, is inclined 10 break out
like an eriaemie-wA@n last xnaets.l --
Red haired WOMEN, my boy, are very fond
Of being widows, aud Of moving from
place to place-a, least that ia my expe-
r.ence. lour mothers hair was slight,
auburn. but during the last five ,yesus OF