The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1865-08-15
Natural History of Bables.

male, are usually done up in packages of
one, though sometimes two, in which
case they are called twins when nearly
of the same age They are not confined
TO any particular locality, but are found
beautifully distributed over all parts of
the inhabited countries. Their ages are
various and have wide range. We
have known them as young as it's easy
to calculate time on watch dial, and
then again We have seen them where
they have acquired the healthy age of
twenty-five, with fair prospect of adj
vancing still further to babyhood. Their
weight depends great deal on their
heft; but as they have twenty-one years
to grow in before it costs them anything,
il don't matter so much how big they
happen to be when they commence.
Probably babies have more pet names
than any other known article of their
sizes In the tender years of their life,
say the two first, they are lovingly adj
dressed by such endearing names as Old
Beautiful, Sweetness, Honey-cOmb, Him,
, Darling, Papa's Hepe, Old Blessed, Nam
mas Joy, Noble Andsome supposed to be
d contradiction of Old Handsome, and
hundreds of other appellations which we
never could translate.
For several years, until they get old
enough to play out Of doors and soil their
faces, their lives are one continuous
game ofCopenhagen, everybody laboring
under the delusion that all babies are
good for is to kiss, consequently TO see one
is TO kiss it.
We cannot recollect of ever finding
-, he af I,l h,t
what the fond mother would say to it {;
Now be good little deary, and give the
gentleman nice, sweet kiss" Ofcourse
we accepted it, though kissing amt our
forte. We are naturally modest, and
don't care to be seen kissing anybody
We don't banker after it as some of our
friends do. We are willing to kiss a
pretty girl occasionally for her mothers
sake, or even for her own, rather than
have any trouble, yet we think, if said
pretty girl owed MS kiss, we should
much prefer TO have it remain on inter
est 10 having it paid when it became due;
we never should present our bill and de-
mand payment-not if we continued per-
fectly sane. We understand that there
are quite number Of persons who differ
from us in regard to kissing; if so let
them diff; we cannot stop to argue the
point, as our subject treats of babies.
The monotony Of babies lives is va
ricd 10y such little incidents as as an at
tack of the measles, mumps, orcroup and
we would not neglect to speak of cutting
teeth. \ baby that has got safely
through all these infantile troubles is
considered worth some seventy-five dol
lars more than one who has them in pros
pect. The diseases are, however,
easily treated; and in Il case of the mea-
sles all that is necessary is to have them
break out" we'll, and SEQ that they
don't ''strike in" with the mumps, just
let them "mump" round day or two,
and they will come ont al right. With
the Group it is necessary to strike ile,"
generally goose ile." and if applied in
season, it will soon Intricate the throat
withou much trouble. Cutting teeth
runs longer than either of the other dis
eases. yet by timely investment Of a
rubber ring and rattle. you get rid OF a
doctors bill. When we were young we
cut our teeth on a silver dollar, but as
they are now made of paper they won't
stand the wear and tear of whole set
of teeth, and it's cheaper in the end to
invest in a rubber ring.
Learning to walk and talk are two
achievements about which too much
cannot be said The walking though is
a more nothing compared To talking. yet
it IS more dangerous, and accidents often
er occur; still they usually acquire the
art with the necessary breaking of the
crockery and furniture. which they fran.
tlcally clutch at to save a fall. During
the season of practicing, nothing can
drop in the house, or the least noise be
made, but that mother will drop what.
ever she has in her hand and cry ont,
There goes Willie what has he done
now 2" and rush to tine scene of action
to find perhaps a -four pot on the floor,
ana Willie engaged in scattering its con.
tents about tho the floor. After clean
Ing up the debris mother returns 10 her
work thanking her stars that il was ouly
choice verbeDa that was ruined and not
Willie's neck.
Their conversation In the beginning is
little difficult 10 understand They
abbreviate great deal, and throw aside
all pronouns as perfeotly useless. List
ening te their talk is like attending an
Italian Opera 'one hears the noise but
cannot understand what il means. The
tiCst papa" or mama distinctly spoken,
is worth five dollars to either of the de.
lighted parents. Babys appearance
opens new field TO all The old hands
VINO have seen babies before converse in
in the language moro aneutiy, bat IL is
ludicrious TO hear a beginner undertake
TO master this difficult tongue Talking
baby talk is an art which few ever ac,
quire to perfection, though, by constant
practice, the most stupid can partially
acquire it, yet IL takes two or three reuer.
ations OF babies to make a perfect lin.
gnist.
The effect baby produces on a family,
DO matter how sober said family NAV be.
is wonderful to behold. 1t completely
turns the heads OF all. If any particular
one behaves more insane, or is carried
away more than the rest, we thing grand.
ma will bear off the palm, although pa.
ma. grandpa, aunt, uncle, and long list
of cousins are not counted ont by any
means. We think; he mother acts the
most sensibly. though even she has her
failings and weak points in regard to ba.
by, and will occasionally exhibit a trace
Of insanity while dilating upon its charms
and accomplishments.
The effect babies have on progression
is sslf-evident. No one ever knew of |