The Placer herald., 1865-11-25
From the Louisville Sunday Journal.
Bill Arp addresses Artemus Ward,
ROME. GA. Sent. !. 1869

all Gods country" so called. For sum
several weeks have been wantin tn say sum
thin. For sum several weeks we rebs, so
called, but now late Of said country deceased
have been tryin nifty hard tu do sumthn..-
We didn't quite do it, and now its very pain.
ful, l assure you, to dry up all Of sudden
and make out like we s'nt thar.
My friend, | want to say sumthin. l sup.
pose there is no law agin thnkin, but think.
in don't bel me. 1t don't let down my ther,
mometer. must explode myself generally
SO as tn feel better. You see Pm tryin to
harmonize. Pm tryin tn soften down nv
feellns. Pm endevorin to sutjugae myself
to the level of snrroundin circumstances, so
called. But can't do it until | am allowed
to say sumthin. want TO quarrel with
somebody and then make trends. | amt no
giant killer. aint no Norwegian bar. I
amt no boarconstrcktor, but I'll be horn
swoggled If the talkn, and the writin, and
the sIanderin has all got to be done on one
side any longer. Sum of your folks have
got to dry up or turn our folks loose. It's a
blamed outrage, SO called. Aint your edit
ors got sumthin else tn do but to peck at US,
and squlb at us and crow over us9 Is every
man what can write a paragraf to consider
us as bars in cage, and be always jobbin
at us to bear US growl! now you see, my
friend, that's what's disharmonious, and do
you just tell 'em, purbus unum, SO called
that If they don't stop it at once or turn US
loose to say what we please, why, we rebs,
so called, have unanimousy and jointly and
u IL
hard Of it-it not harder.
That's the way to talk it. aint agwine
to commit myself. know wheu to put on
the brakes. aint agwiue to say all think,
like Mr. Eheridge, or Mr.. Adderrig, SO cali
ed. Nary time. No, sir. But I'll just tell
you, Artemus, and you may tell it to your
show, if we ant allowed to express our sen.
timents we can take it out in halin; and ha-
tin runs heavy in my family shure. hated
my head, and the man drowned himself in a
hog waller that night koud do it agin,
but you see I'm tryin to harmonize, to &C.
quiesce, to become kan and screen.
Now suppose that poetikaly speakin,
''In Dixie'g fall
We shned ALL
But takin the way see it, big feller and
little feIler, so called, got into fte, and
they tout and tout and fout a long time, and
everybody all round KEEP hollern hands off,
but KEEP helpn the big feller, until finally the
little teller caved in and holered euuti. He
made bully tite, l tell you, Selah We'll,
what did the big feller doa take him by the
hand and help him up, and brush the dirt off
bis clothes? Nary time! No, SUI! But be
kicked him arter he was down, and throwd
mud on him, aud drug him about and rub
bed sand in his eyes, and now he's gwine
about buntin up bis poor little property
Wants to confscate it, SO called. Blame
my jacket if it aint enuff to make your head
swim.
But I'm good Union man, so called.
aint agwine to tite no more. | shant vote
for the next war. aint no guerrilla. I've
done took the oath, and L gwine to keep it,
but as for being subjugated, and humilyated,
and amalgamated, and enervated, as Mr..
Chase says, it aint so-nary time. | anL
ashamed OF nuthn nether-aint repentin,
ant akin for no one horse, sbort,winded par>
don. Nobody needn't be payin priest
around me. | aint got no twenty thousand
dollars. Wish had; I'd give it to the poor
widers and orfns. I'd falten my own nu-
merous and interestin offspring in about two
minutes and half They shoudent eat
roots and drink branch water no longer
Poor, unfortunate things! to come into this
suboonary world at sch time. There's
four or five of 'em that never saw si.kss
nor monkey show-never had pocket
knife, nor piece Of cheese, nor reesin.-
There is Bull Run Arp, Harper's Ferry Arp,
and Chickahominy Arp that never seed the
picters in spelln book. ! tell you, my
trend, we are the poorest people on the face
of the earth-but we are poor and proud
We made bully ite, SeIahl and the whole
nation ought to feel proud of it. 1t shows
what Amerikin can do when they think
they are imposed on-so called. Did mt our
four fathers fte, bleed and die about little
tax on tea when not one in a thousand drunk
il? Bekause they sukseeded wusent it glory?
But if they hadent suppose it would have
been treason, and they would have been
bowin and scrapn round King George for
pardon.
30 IL goes, Artemus, and TO my mind II
the whole thing was stewed down, it would
make half pint of humbug. We had good
men, great men, Christian men, who thought
we was right, and many of them have gone
to the undiscovered country, and have got
pardon as is pardon. When l die, I'm
nifty willin to risk myself under the shadow
of their wings, whether the climate be hot
or cold. So mote it b. Selab!
Well, maybe I've said enuf But don't
feel easy yit. I'm good Union man, sartin
and shure. Pve had my breeches died blue,
and I've got blue bucket, and very often
feel blue, and about twice in while 60 to
the doggery and get blue, and when look
up at the blue serulean heavens and sing the
melancholy choryus Of the Bluetailed Fly,
I'm doing my durndest to harmonize, and
think l could sucseed if it wasent for sum
things. When | see blackguard goin