Evansville daily journal. (Evansville, Ind.) 1863-1866, 1865-10-31

I4
--~-----A------ss-rfttf4------ q
If a girl thinks more Of her heala than
her head, depend upon II, ahe viii never
amount 10 much. Brains which settle
il the shoes meyer get aborssa them
Young gentlemen VIM please PIT this
down. sa4si siia. 81 4
Miss Flutter, who tsased Der father at
an inopporiune moment for a water
fall, /" received, two damna instead.
The following dialogue actually took
place, short time since, between .
visiting examiner and hopeful pupil in
a school near Salisbury, England:
Now, then, said the examiner, THE
first boy in the grammar class" =
!" Here be, zur," -. -. -
- =! 3 Well, my good boy, eau you tell me
what novels eref isialH e4aia'i ssass
-os'a vowls, zurr why, ess, eur; Of
course can, zur.' sss 4 .slss ,.s
. a"Well, my boy, tell mo then. What
are vowelsT" ftak
yowlA zur7 Why, vowls he chick.
END" t8 ID .Gn w
What do you intend Ia do With Ieifer-
son DaEiaT asked so Epglishman of nd
intelligent returned soldier the other
day. II would be blasted cruel TO be
hanging him, you know. Now what do
you intend 10 do with himT' = Borrow
ST. Helena from her majesty, your Queen,
and chain him there as you chained Ma.
poleon, you know" was the reply. Jobn
Ball could not SEQ the point
- A Coantry schoolmastes, happened TO
be reading Of the curious skin OF an ele-
phant-. N
"Did You ever see an elephants
skim he asked.
~ havef shouted little ''six-yeAr-
old" at the foot Of the class. =
"WhereT he asked, quite amused at
the boys earnestness
Goa the elephant" said he. with n
srncatprovking gring 1naTG
A CHRONIC ToPER--Uncle John Nor.
ria was chronic topper One day, while
returning from the tavern, be found 10.
comotion impossible, ana brought up in
the corner of worm fence, where he
remained standing. He had been there
only few minutes, when the minister
came along EI RHE gEfgfg2
Uncle John said BE- "a where dc
you suppose you will go when you come
aIf l cans 60 any belses than eau
now, l shan't go anyVhers," replied
Uncle John. asa -
A WIS IN. TRoUBLE.--',Pray.t cll me,
my dear, what is the eaase eE those
tearsf'
a N s,nh A ds.c.acapf e
@what is Il my dsarfa Doh'tkeep mt
in suspense.
20, have opened one of your letterA
supposing il TO b addressed 20 myself
certainly Il looked iacse Ike Mrs. thar
Mr..
ias~afs that Alif what harm can tier,
30 u .. a wife opening her husbands let
=, !" No harm in the thing ITSELF butthl
"a contents Such adisgrace." y q =
"Who has dared to write me lefte
unfit to be read by my wifeffl9 Se
"Oh, mol il is couched in the naos
chased and beautiful language. Butth
contentsl"
; yT Here the wife buried her face ID he
handkerchief and commenced sobhinI
aloud, while her husband eagerly caugh
mp the letter and commenced readin
the epistle that had nearly broken hi
wiie's heart TWAS bill from the prln'
: or for two years subscription 60 the tow
paper.
A Coon ARcuMENT.--A Hindo, on b
ing assailed with torrent OF profah
words from his neighbors, went up
them and asked: (Which Ia worst, I'd
abusive terms which you are just using
or the mud and dirt that you see lyin
on the duEghin4' "The abusiv
terms" was the reply "And would 20
ever take into your mouth that mud an
dirtr Never Then why do. You &
your mouth with the abusive terms whic
YOU confess to be worse thansths tssos
COMPOUNDED with this rebuke they resir
ed, saying that the argument was hu
fair"
ARAr IN PkCottARlY PxRFLxxrS
PREDIoAxEEE-An exciting scene va
witnessed in street car near Willard
this forenoon. A lady well dressed On
of gentle and respectable appearance
asi stepped into the car from the FonrteenI
street crossing, and upon taking her SCI
seemed to receive a momentary shoe
She did not loose her presence Of min
bus seized with energy o. portion of h
apparel on one side of her lap and CALI
The conductor That official approache
when the lady cody said to him, "The
ia something under ny dress, wkich
49, alive, please 70 grasp IL just where
have hold Of il The conductor d
90, and felt living animal, which
"a ohoked with his est till twas paraisse
The lady EusaRwhils putting her hei
NL.sEaa