The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1865-06-30
The Old woman aud the Grew.
BY n. W. JOHNSON.
lErom the Chattanooga Daily Gazette.

The following Amusing anecdote, which
has never yet appeared in print, STRUCK
me as containing pointso keenly sa
/ tirical, that determined II write 1T dowr
and have it placed on th records II
| was told mc ny one who was bith an eye
and ear witness, and who, % course
speaks from tie book. The story will
! lose much OF It's ludicrousness IL my
style of writing, and bis of telling IT, but
here goes ~
At certain crossroads. IN the state ol
Alabama. stood IA small grocery ID "whis
ky-shop, previous to the rebellion, where
"bust-head" aud Achain-ligbtninS' were
dealt ont TO the thirsty, III: washed at the
small sum Of fiye cents q drink, OF twen-
ty-fve cents quart. The presiding ge-
Mus of this deleetable institution was
one Bill Skies, who, among various other
| I.pets, had domesticated crow, black as
the ace of spades. This crow had learn
ed. among other things. to repeat quite
plainly the words. damn. You" which
he, of course, heaN frequently used Ill
the grocery. Daring the prevalence OF
knock down and lrag-out fight one day,
however, the crow was frightened from
MS home and iiewpif into the woods new
er to return.
About three miles from the grocery was
settlement meetiag- -honse-an old, tum-
ble-down, dilapidaSed affair, only ed On
certain occasions, vhcn a ''circuit-rider'
happened to pass that way. In this
building went the grow, taking peacea-
BILE possession; and two days thereafter
the church was thrown open for preach
inc, aud large crawd assembled, among
whom was very cd lady. who was com
pelled to Use crutcies in walking, who
took her seat III the front pew and
was soon deeply ybsorbed Ill the elo.
ouence of the pros scher The reverend
gentleman had sc;Gccly got under full
headway, and commenced laundering
his anathemas at al grades OF sinners,
when aboarse, croaling voice from above
uttered the ominou$ words:
Damn yout"
The preacher andcoDgregation looked
achast at such profanity, and each peered
in his neighbor's face in vain to detect
some sign of guilt. sQuiet was at length
restored howeverYapd the sermon pro-
ceedcd, but ere ten l5inutes had elapsed,
the ominous damn you again clccti-
fled the audience, aud just as the preach
er cast his eyes upward to search for the
delnuucnt, the crow few down from his
perch, and, lighting on the Bible, calmly
surveyed the crowd,as he gave another
doleful croak: -
Damn y0H!" slS
The effect was electrical Giving one
startled and terrified glance a.: the intru-
der, the preacher spfang through wiz
dow, carrying sash, glass and all with
him, and set off at break-neck pace
through the weeds, closely followed by
his horror-strickens congregation, who
had piled out of tlis building pell-lnell
after him In the general scramble, the
old lady with thescrntches had been
knocked downiu the church, where she
Law, unable to rise, sad on observing her
the crow (who was after something to
eat) flew down beside her. and cooking
up his eye ut her vefyknowingly, again
Ihe old lady eyed him savagely for
few moments, and then burst forth, III
tone of reckless defiance:
"Trs-and damn you, too (. l had moth
ing to do with getting up this Methodist
mcctinc-and you know it. too"
The poor old soul had mistaken the
crow for the Devil, and concluded topro-
pitiate. if possible, the wrath of his Sa-
tanic majesty by denying all completely
in the affair. The world is full of just
such people.