North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1865-11-22
gslsrt gtury,
SOMETHING ABOUT WOMEN.

BEING ADVICE FROM FATHER TO HIS son.
Some days since administered to you a
short but serious hit of advice concerning
vhiskey straight and whiskey sosIr or rather
as 10 what sort Of people they are who drink
these alcoholic compounds. Your trunk is
now packed. your boots pinch your feet no
more, the maternal apron string is severed,
your sister has distracted the Inst twenty
greenback from the mardet dole, and you
are ready, eager, and ripe for the battle of
with all its mysteries of hard up, and mise
ries Of down at the heel.
There is one fact and that is, next to an
hereditary fondness for whiskey, you have
another weakness-women. You need pot
blush. Ialways regard the sudden flushing
up Of q mans face as pTimd tacid evidence
that he has been at something Of which
he is ashamed. Now, no man need to be
ashamed Of fondness for women. I, is nat
ural II Is human. Woman is divne-es-
pecially after dinner, when her temper has
been crushed down-fattened out beneath a
tremendous weight of roast beef, potatoes,
aud apple pudding. Before dinner she is
variable, sometimes nervous, and always LOOK
ing :or something she has not lost. Com
mend me, my SON, TO the woman who dimes
heartily, and minds her own business as well
as that Of her ne,ghbors who does not make
q tea-vat of herself, and who can drink a
cup Of Young Hyson without sweetening it
with the shreds OF scandal she has picked up
in job lots in the street. A silent tongue in
woman bespeaketh longevity, love and the
meekness of submission.
There are di Eers kinds Of women, my son
Women, were they alike, wouldn't be worth
as much as one of the luxuIies ofthis world.
Variety, nv dear son. is not only the spice,
but the comfort of life which perhaps ac-
counts for the tendency of some married men
to 40 abroad after those comforts which can
be had at home, equally as pIeasurable in
their nature, bul which from long familiarity
do not haze the charm of novelty. Man will
90 he has ever done since the world began,
continue TO run after strange gods-particu.
larly if these strange gods wear crInoline,
nave dimpled cheeks, rosy lips, roguish eyes,
and are oil the more complaisant with an In.
crease of worshiDers. r.-..s
Women take to fiattery, my son, as natur
ally as men do to their morning eye-opener.
Ii is the sugar of their existence. But voc
to the unlucky wight who does not under
stand the art of administering it. IL has to
be given with care. Ii must be prepared
and put up in doses to suit the patient, like
medicine. Some women will take hattery
and adultation as the glutton swallows cream
tarts, and are unhappy aud miserable if they
miss their daily dose. Others take it twell
disguised. The plain, unadoring article dis
gusts and makes them qualmish. Others
again, pretend to abhor compliment in all its
forms, and yet are only fishing for larger
share than Of right belongs to them. At the
first nibble they toss their pretty heads and
curl the inviting lip. and are ready for a
wholesale bite. When q woman tells you
she detests fAttery, my boy, don't believe
ker. The heart OF woman is like fort
There 10 o sally-port somewhere, by which
NH ns loves, desires, fears, and hates comes
bat, sither. .singly or in full battallion.-
Through that sslly-port, my boy, you can
enter and capture the entire garrison, haul
down its flag of defiance, and run up your
good ensign of victory. But you must first
like doctor examining blooded horse, ind
her weak and strong points, study her every
motion, mark her every word. never allo"
n glance to escape you. There never yet
lived n woman who could not be conquered
I say that advisedly.. Women was born t.
bs married. To her, even in her younger
years, the coming man towers in the din
future like the vision Of colossus looming
up through the misty atmosphere Of a dream