Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1865-11-04
Wit and Wisdom.

Wit and Wisdom.
"A man may, in cutting a gooC
friend, cut his own throat.
More married people than unmar
ried ones are disappointed in love-"
Many of the silk-worms that feeG
on the mulberry leaf are better thar
the gaudy silk-worms of society.
Look out for steamboat and sleep
ing car thieves. "Still so gently o'el
me stealing"
The New York horse cars are the
"Homes for Little Wanderers" They
crawl on the cushions.
"A young fellow, the son Of an emf.
nent dancing master, applying to a
friend as to what trade or profession ii
would be best for him to pursue, was
answered, 81 think you cannot do bet
ter than follow the steps of your
father"
However active goose's wing may
be in life, they become stationary after
ward.
AT the Washington faro-banks many
of the pigeons are plucked SO close that
they can't provide for their bills.
Never make two bites at a cherry,
unless it be chery-lip.
A lady of our acquaintance has SO
much of the cat III her, that she can
never see mouse without springing
at it.
"A singular echo is said to rever-
berate around great many petroleum
wells. 1t says: "Bu-you-men'"
Those who have their mouths Of
tenest open have their minds oftenest
shut.
your mother like Hamlet's father?
Because he has an eye like mas.
Very much alike are rich old lady
who marries, and a poor one who is
frugal-they both husband their re-
sources.
The only thing worse than to have
your heart broken by your wife is to
break hers.
Lovers WOO their sweethearts in
wretched verse, and that is probably the
reason why so many of them are prop
erly Tilted.
Put your money into box if you
like, but not dice-box.
"A new beatitude: BLESSED is the
man that maketh short speech; he
will be invited to come again."
An inch of rain in depth is equal
to one hundred and one tons of ice to
the acre.
"A youngster, four years old, being
&c DO L. - l.
prayers at night during his absence from
home, replied, "No, but counted hun
dred."
"A schoolmaster struck Gle the
other day, but it was only juvenile.
-Would-be wit to Newsboy. What's
the news from Jerusalem?
Newsboy.-Say, mister, yer sharp,
amt yer? If yer was ter fall down,
don't yer think you'd cut yerself all ter
pieces?
"A Paris correspondent says that
the first question an English excursion
list asks ON his arrival at the capital are
"How many francs do / get for a sove-
reign" where do they sell pale ale?"
and "Where shall we see the Empe-
ror?"
In Morocco, a criminal never knows |
his sentence, or the time and mode of |
it out. To save his feelings, |
he may be shot at O moment when he |
is, perhaps, looking for liberty.
Mrs. Darlington. -''Do you pro-
pose to put Ike into a store, Mrs. Part
ington?" asked a friend. YES" re-
piled the old lady, ''but am pestiferous
to know which. Some tell me the
wholesale trade is best, but believe
the ringtail will be the most benefcious
to him."
Question by the defendants coun-
my client enter into a posi-
tive agreement to marry you?" An
swer.-''Not exactly; but he courted me
a good deal, and he telled my sister Jane
that he intended to marry into our FAM
ily."
A wise old gentleman, who knew
ali about it, on retiring from business,
gave the following sage advise to his
son and successor Common sense, my
son, is valuable in all kinds of business
except love-making."
A colporteur calling at the Ameri-
can Tract Society for a bundle of tracts,
required those most suggestive of death
when some one referred him to the
railroad tracks, and Immediately made
tracks himself.
"A bibulous landlord, at Cobleskill,
a short time since, was complaining
that his sugar-drawer was overrun with
ants. A SETTER" ever present, pro-
posed that if Boniface would treat, that
he would inform him how to get rid of
them in very short time. The land
lord accepted the proposition, when the
''setter" coolly advised Boniface to ''kill
an ant every time he took drink"
-"What is the world coming to?"
said kind-hearted but simple old lady,
as she threw down her newspaper.
"Only to think" she continued, :that
there in New York they allow a parcel
of French dancing girls to execute their
grand pas on the stage, with the people
all looking at 'em, and applauding of
'em, tooP'
-Black-eyed ladies are most apt to be |
passionate and jealous; blue-eyed, soul |
full, truthful, affectionate and contiding;
gray-eyed, philosophical, literary, re-
solute and cold-hearted; hazel-eyed,
quick tempered and tickle.
A stray contraband from down south
was lately inspecting horse power In