American citizen. [volume] (Canton, Miss.) 1864-1890, 1865-10-19
n Il III s.
"Pompey, why am my shoe like de
%corporatiop ?"

"Gub it up, Sam. Why am it?"
"Kase it hsb no sole. Yah ! yah !"
An odd genius entered he saloon ad
joining Ford's Theatre. where Booth
took his last drink of brandy just before
he murdered Mr.. Lincoln and inquired
of the barkeeper: ''Have you the same
bottle on band out Of which Booth dIauE
on the night Of the assassination" Yes,
Sir" And the same brandy in it ?"
eyes. Sir" "Can ! have a drink Of hat
same brandy out of hat same hottle?"
Eyes, Sir" Lets have it," The visitor
tastes the brandy, makes a wry face, and
continues: land that's the same brandy
that Booth drank" Yes, Sir" "Weil,
! don't wonder that be killed the Presi
dent. A drink Of hat brandy would
make a man kill his grandmother !"
LITERARY NorE.-In what form did
Burns address bis departed Mary?-In
a polygon (Polly gomez J, we presume.
An Irishman got out Of the cars at a
railway station for refreshments. but IN
fortunately the bell rang, and the train
left before he had finished his repast.
"Hould on ~ cried Pat, as he ran like d
mailman after the car; "hould on. We
murtherin old stame iDgin-ye've got q
passenger aboard that's lift behind p.
The frog who would a wooing 60, hav-
ing returned after bis honeymoon, has
been handsomely entertaining a select
circle of friends, who have joined the
happy couple in a nightly game Of
Crooky.
The first thing a man takes to in his
life is his milk-the last is his bier.
LODGING HOUSE LADY. "Do you like
meat rare, sir?"
New LOGGER. mo, madam, l like il
three times a day"
A Portuguese shoemaker used to give
his wife a severe logging every month,
Just before be went to confession. On
being asked the reason of this proceeding.
be replied that, having a poor memory.
he took this method Of refreshing it, as
his wife, while uuder the castig4tion, was
sure to remind him of all bis sins.
Say, Sam, what you sell them shoes
for?"
Cant sell dem, Pomp."
"Wby not?"
"KaSe dey's half soled already. Yah,
yah p
Zone more question, Mr.. Parks" said
a counsel to a witness, who happened to
be a tailor. You have known the d.
PENDANT a long time (; what are his habits
or otherwise?" 1.-The ore hes
got on now | think is rather tight under
the arms, and too short-waisted for the
fashion," replied Parks. Stand down."
said the counsel.
There ia but a step from the sublime to
the ridiculous. A local journal thus de-
the effects of a hurricane {: "It
shattered mountains, tore up oaks by the
roots, dismantled churches, laid villages
waste, and overturned a hsystack."
A pew in a Congregational meeting.
house is thus advertised for sale in the
Amherst, Massachusetts, Erpress: "a
lew in the meeting house OF the first par
sh in Amherst is for sale. Tie man that
WINS he pew owns The right or a space
Tst as long aud wide as the pew is from
NJ bottom of the meeting house to the
caand be can 60 as much higher as he
gFet. If a man will buy my pew and
q it on Sundays, and repent and be a
man, be will 60 to heaven, and my
% as good a place to start from as any
Westinghouse"
"o'rded squire, being worsted
cage {. in an argument, took bis
n.zs inning. IF bad a son
1lq sssattt by JOve. I'd make him ]
Nai.eo Very probably" replied
''but | see hat your father was
a different mind" !.
Love is a severe critic. Hate can par i
Ion more than love. They who aspire
o love worthy, subject themselves to an
rdeal more rigid than any other