The Nashville daily union. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1862-1866, 1865-04-22
Cousin Sally billiard,

ScESE--A Cotzt Of Justice IN North Car
oLna.
A beardless disciple of Themis rises
and thus addresses the Court: MAY it
please your worships, and you, gentle
men of the jury, since it has been my
fortune (gOod or bad, ! will not saw to
exercise myself in legal disquisifions
1t has never befell me TO be obliged to
prosecute so direful, marked, and mali
cious assault more WilfuI, violent.
dangerous battery-aud finally, g more
diabolical breach Of the peace, has sci
dom happened in a civilized country I:
and ! dare say it has seldom been your
duty to pass upon one so shocking to
benevolent feelings, as this which took
place over at Capt Rice's in this Coun-
ty But you will hear from the wit
uesses
The witnesses being sworn, two or
three were examined and deposed-
one said that he heard the noise, and
did not see the fight, another that he
seen the row, but didn't know who
struck first-and third, that he was
very drunk, and couldn't say much
about the skrimmage.
Larger Ci0Ds-I am sorry, gentle
men, 10 have occupied your time with
the stupidity Of the witnesses exam
ined IL arises, gentlemen, altogether
from a missppTehension on my part
Had ! known, as / now do that / had a
witness in attendance who was well ac-
quainted with all the circumstances of
the case, and who was able to make
himself clearly understood by the
court and jury, | should not Sc long
have trespassed on your time and pa
tience. Come forward, Mr.. Harris, aud
be sworn.
So forward comes the witness, q fat.
chntiy old man, Hectic cOrued, and
took his oath with an air.
Chopg-Harris, we wish you TO teli'all
about the riot that happened the other
day at Capt Rices; and as n good deal
Of time has already been wasted in
circumloCution, we wish you to be com
pendlous, and at the same time us ex-
plicit, as possible.
Harris Adzlctly Giving the law
yer a knowing wink, aud at the
same time clearing his throat) Capt
Rice, he gin a treat aud cousin Sally
billiard, she came over 20 our house
and aXsd me if my wife she moutu't
go2 } told cousin Sally billiard that
my wife was poorly, being as how she
had touch of rheumatics in the hin,
and the big swamp was n the road and
| the big swamp was up, for there had
been n heap of rain lately; but how
somer, as it was she, cousin Sally pil-
lard, my wife she mout G.. Well, cous-
in Sally billiard then axed me If Nose
he mount 90 2 ! told cousin Sally
billiard that he was the foreman Of the
crap, and the crap was smartly in the
grass; but howsomever rs il was she,
cousin Sally billiard, Nose he mout
go
CHops-In the name ol common sense,
Mr. Harris, what 30 you mean by this
rigmarole
Wlmcv-Capt Rice, he gin a treat,
and cousin Sally billiard she came over
to our house and axed me if my wife
she mount go / told cousin Sally
! billiard
Ctqps-Stop, sir, if you please; we
don't want to hear anything about
your cusin Sally billiard and your wife
tell us about the fight at Rices.
Wimcg.-Well, I will, sir, if you Will
let me.
Chops. We'll, sir, so on.
Wines We'll, sir, Capt Rice he gin
a treat and cusin Sadly billiard She
come over 10 our house and axed me if
my wife che mouth GO
Chops There it is again. Witness,
please to stop
WImfss-Well, sir what do You
wRnt2
Clops-We want to know about the
| fight and you must not proceed IN this
iruuertinent story Do you know any
thing about the matter before the
court
Names TO be sure I do
CiVg--Wen, SO on and tell 1t, and
nothing else.
BIm5ss-well, Capt Rice Le gin a
treat
Chops This is intolerab!e May IL
please the court, move that this Wit
ness be committed Tor contempt, he
seems to be trifiing with this court
C-ut Witness, you are now before
a court Of justice, aud unless you be-
have yourself in more becoming man
ner, you will be sent 10 ipIi SO begin
/ and tell what YOU know about the fight
at Capt Rice's.
W'mrs- alarmed We'll, gentle
men, Capt kice he giu treat snd
cousin Sally Dillard--
Chips II hope the witness may be
ordered into custody.
Cout- after deGberaUnC Mr. At
| torney the court Is of the opinion that
we save time 10y letting the witness go
on IN his own way. Proceed, Mr.. Har
ris, with your story, but stick 10 the
point
HItnes-Ies, gentlemen Well, Capt
Rice he gin q treat, and cousin Sally
Dillard she come over % our house and
axed me il my wife she mout 20. l
told cousin Sally Dillard that my wife
she WAS poorly, being as how she had
the rheunatics in the hip, and the bic
swamp was up; but h0wsomeyer as ii
was she, cousin sally Dlisrd, my wife
she mout 70. Well. cousin Sally billiard
then axed me if Nose he mouth Q 80.
! told cousin Sally DiIiard as how Nose
he was the foreman OF the crap, and
the crap was smartly m the erass--but
logsomeyer rs II was she, cousin Sally
Dliard, Mtss be mOut 90 80 they
goes on together Nose, my wife and
cousin Sally Dilard, and they come 10
The big swamp, and It was mp, as was
Telling you; but being AS how there
was !, 4, log across the bag swamp, cousin
lily Diiiard and Nose, like genteel
- 80 SSl5iey walked the log bat my
c,.,s .lNe a dsrned fool hoisted her
~ ~, = r .-uo Waded through lad that's
sHIETa.--A large ss,ortD,...