Daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1865, 1865-02-06
THE noKALs OF "D1AKINc UP ,

There undOu btedly are stern mora lists
who discern actual sin in the effort 10 be
artifcially beautiful Arguing by mere
ly logical ethics, it is not very difcult
for them TO make out their case. False
hair and dyeiBg are distinctly meant to
deceive, and the same must be said of
padding and rouge. They are clearly
intended to obtain admiration on false
pretenses, and therefore amount to social
swindling. They must place the con-
sciences of those who have rescourse to
them in very unpleasant dilemma. If
a young lady, by dyeing her red hair
brown, or her mud-colOred hair auburn,
has succeeded in obtaining place in
some male heart, she must feel that she
has been guilty Of exactly the same offence
in kind as that of the footman who has
secured good place of more prosaic
kind by the adventurous protuberance
of his calves. On the other hand, if she
obtains no success, she must be victim
OF that specially poignant kind of remorse
which visits those who have done wrong
aud have got nothing by it, There is
more TO be said in behalf of false hair,
though the defense Is sophistical in kind
The moralist has no plea to offer in be-
half Of fronts" or 'pufs," or "tails;"
though, in regard TO these latter, the
precedent which is set by the horses of
the Life Guards may seem to afford the
fair sex a kind Of government sanction
for the immortality of which they are
guilty But they should feel some com
FUNCTION on the score of fairness, if not
of truthfulness. 1t is very hard that
while woman can conceal the dishonors
OF an unproducuye scalp, science has
.rakt. -
vice for escaping the opprobrIum which
mustAches. The only difficulty which
the casuist will meet with, who has to
analyze the different shades OF the capils
larry lie, will arise out of a wig. Middle
aged gentlemen who are detected in o
wig before they have quite persuaded
themselves that they are no longer Young
are very apt to pretend that they are
afflicted with neuralgia in the ears, or
rheumatism IN the nose, or some other
complaint which makes it matter of
necessity to keep their heads covered.
In fact, eTasIuns of this kind NAV be
generally detected by easily conscience
stricken effort ON the part of the offender
to gasp out the woris,-'direction OF
my medical man" When health obyi-
ously robust makes this resource una-
valuable, some hardened sinners are
shameless enough to pretend that the flies
settle upon their scllps. 4 director who
had TO deal with cases of this kind would
probably compromise the matter by pre-
scrlbIng some form of wig which could
not possibly contribute to the beautifi-
cation of the wearer. Specimens of such
an arrangement may often be seen upon
old gentlemen. who a most aivarriso ,ba
exact nature of their craniaI protection
By putting a jet"blaok wig above white
or saudy~haired whiskers.
No douot these party colored worthless
have telt the ethical difficulty, and have
settled the matter with their conscience,
10 this way. False teeth are more din cult
for the m5ralist TO deal with for their
u'tli'y is beyoud controversy. Occasion.
ally It tails to the lot of !uckless guests 10
stt ue1t lady who has been deprived bv
bad fate and worse dentists of her real
teeth, and Is debarred By her principles
from false ones. After TWO hours effort 70
look animated and Intelligent, Aod to say
yes IN the right place, the victim NAV
well 60 away Disguised with principles for
life. Perhaps the most truly yirtuous plan
IS that which was adopted oy an upright
Scotch provost, who felt that it was wrong
to sacrifice either his principles or bis
irteads, and therefore always kept his teeth
upon MS table, and ouIy put them in when
he wished TO indulge 10 Conversation. As
the operation was always lengthy, and oc-
casioualiy unsuccessful, his slaughter BouId
sit oy and restrain the impalieucs OF any
thoughtlsss visitor by the observation
Please, SIR, 10 sit awhile till father has
made his teeth ught.'-LoBG0H SATURDAY,
RsrisH.