Evansville daily journal. (Evansville, Ind.) 1863-1866, 1865-01-18

LOEUSI sIAAE4-
BETwEgE FIRST AMI TER.
A small boz was caught stealing dried
berries. and was locked up in dark
closet by the grocer TIE bog conn
menced begging most psthetically 10 be
released, and, after using all the
persuasion that big young mind could
invent, he proposed
:" Now, if you'll let me out and send
for my daddy, he'll pay you for them AID
lick me besides"
The grocer man could not withstand
this appeal, and released the urchin
A crooked gentleman, on his arrival
at Bath, was asked BY another what
place he had travelled from2
/" came sfratgM from London, be
replied.
=" Did you 500 said the other, then
you have been terribly aoarped by the
may
An evidence in a court speaking in
very harsh and loud voice, the lawyer
employed on the other side exclaimed
q Fellow, Why dost thou bark so iu-
rioaaly7"
Because replied the rustic, j
think gees thief
MANY a man derives alEhis strength
and frmness from bis wife; she Is not
only his rib but his backbone
Doctors tell VS. that hanging Il a de-
lightful death, the dying man being
made physically happy AS executed
10 weua tas ytaxar yta o.
lished their experience, probably the
doctors are mistaken.
A Washington boot-maker states au-
thoritatively that q" Old Abe's Inst is a
very big thing.
The only practical joke in which r
Harris Barkham, better known as Thos
Ingoldsby, ever personally engaged, wal
enacted when he was boy at Cautet
bury. In company with a school-fellow
he entered a Quaker Westinghouse
when, looking around at the grave az
sembiy, the latter held up penny tar
and said, solemnly, Whoever speak
first shall have this pie. Go thy was
boy, said drab-colored gentleman
rising, ego thy way--aud' " The pie
yours air. exclaimed young Barkhan
placing il before the astonshed speekes
and hastily eaecting bis escape.
A GREAr TALE Or THE SARAroa
Trunk Old Anthracite has very dea
wife--so dear that she costs him on h,
own private account about 81 500
year. Mr.. Anthracite always has ii
latest faehions, so when the great Sar
toga trunk was exhibited in Broadwa
Mrs A. Instantly purchased Que for Ia
summer trip.
Every one ayows that The great Sar
toga trunk is an unexceptiouable trun
II is colossal--of Titantic proportion
Cheops, the builder Of the great pyrausi
might have found apple accom- mod
tons for her entire household 10 Il
great Saratoga trunk.
Accordingly down vent Mrs. A. to d
great watering place with her gre
trunk She had not been long Their
however, when old Anthracite Feceig
private telegraph from friend to
form him that Mrs. A. was flirting dc
perately With young BeIzsbob, son 81
heir of Old Belzebub, the great sol
boiler, Anthracite instantly takes Il
train, arriving at the hotel, aud, inqu
ing she number OF his wife room, a
city walked up stairs Hia wifs's do
is shut Anthracite knocks Door ope
after some delay Mrs A. Ruttere
which hutter Increases 30 digmay VIII
she sees her husband Huabahd entg
eoolly, explains that be just came to 4
how she was getting on, aud seated hi
self on the Saratoga trunk Drops
glove, the picking up Of (which enabl
him TO look under the bed No one y
there. Mrs A: looked ~ though Sol
one ought 10 be there Husband Ia
OF the weather, and the pair are sitii
down to u little light conversation, wi
old Anthracite remarks quietly
Mrs. A., theresa rat in your trun
Mrs. A, turns pale through her pal
No, husband is mistaken. The rat is
the wainscoL They are always the
those rats. lie smells him; he will
anime. Mrs A, very anxious he sho
not He can't The trunk is shut, q
she has lost the key Husband d
leave to contradict The key was in
lock--the lid was open
Husband, amid the protestatious
Is Mrs. A., half raised the lid. No crl
line, no shawls, no lace, no furbelo
in the great Saratogatrunk; only you
Belzebub's glossy eurls and kill
moustaehe are visible Mrs. A. iustar
feinss. 1t is the privilege Of her sex
such occasions What does husba
do2 Shoot young Belzebub7 Not q.
of it, He smiles grimmly and ST
the lid down agSIu, locking the CT
Saratoga trunk He rings the bell, {
the waiter to bring him gimlet; bc
few holes in the great trunk, ORD
up the porter, aud goes 10 New "
81 accompanied by the great Sarat
trunk. What would aot the trunk b
given for eigar IN q baggage wa
when ID smelled the tobacco smoke
was so literally pafsed about
trunk, although nearly suifoca
thought it best to keep quiet s Arr
S at New York, Old Anthracite +
the people at the depot,
enough for the great Saratoga trunl
I hear him, shat be would leave his /
gage at The Office FOR few days, y
i 30 would send for l. This was n
81 than the great trunk could bear; S,
81 kicked, shouted, and made noise u
It was broken open, and 70 the am
81 ment OF everybody, poor Relzebub or
ed out IN imping condition. He !
- to tell the people that it was done Il
bet, but somehow The truth leaked
and | predict that next summer Il
will be fewer Saratoga trunks at
Springs think old Anthrscite rot
best Of il, don't you b ! ~4|
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