Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1865-06-09
Artemas Ward on Matters and
Things.

United States of America, large yellel
handbills, which not only air gems of ar
in themselves, but they troothfuly Sc
forth the attractions of my show-a show
let me here observe, that contains many
livin' animals, every one of which has
got Beautiful Moral.
Them handbilIs is sculpt in New York
& annooly repair there to git some
more on 'um:
& being here, tho't I'd issoo Ad-
dress to the public on matters and
things.
Since last meyanderd these streets
have been all over the Pacific Slope
and Utah. ! cum back now, with my
virtue unimpared, but I've got to git
some new clothes.
Many changes has taken place. even
durin my short absence & sum on 'em is
Solum to contemplate. The house in
Varck street, where / used to board is
bein torn down-That house, which was
rendered memorable by my livin into
it. "parsin away parsin away But
some of the timbers will be made into
canes, which will be sold to my admirers
at the low price Of one dollar each. Thus
is changes goin on continerly. In the
New World it's warm the Old World
empires is tottering & dysentaries is
crumbling. These canes is cheap at a
dollar.
Sammy Booth sculpt my handbill, &
he's an artist. He studied in Rome
State of New York.
I'm here to read the proof-sheets of
my handbill as fast as they're sculpt.-
You have TO watch these ere printers
pretty close, for they'r apt TO spell wurd
rong as anyhow.
But have to look round sum, & how
do | fnd things | return to the Atlantic
States after a absence of ten months &
what state do fird the country in Suf.
flee it to say do not find it in the State
Of New Jersey.
find sum things that is cheerin, par
tic'ly the resolve upon the part of the
wimmen of America TO stop wearin fur
rim goods.
never NEEDLE with my wife's things
She may wear muslin from Greenland's
icy mountains, and bombazen from Injy's
coral strands, if she wants to but I'm
glad TO state that superior woman has
peeled off all her furrin clothes and
jumpt into fabrics of domestic manutact-
ure.
But says some folks, if you stop i'm.
portn things you stop the R-venoo.-
That's all right. We can stand it If the
Revenoo can't. On the same principle
young men should continue to get drunk
on French brandy, and to smoke their
liver as dry as corn-c0b with Cuhy
cigars, because 4,ooth if they don't it
will hurt the Revrnoo This talk about
the Revenoo is of the bosh, boshy. One
thing is toPbly certain--if we don't send
gold out of the country, we shall have
the consolation of knowing that it is in
the country. So | say great cred, is doc
the wimmen for this patriotic move
and to tell the truth the wimmen Gener-
ally know what they're about. OF al
the blessns they are the soothinest II
there'd never been any wimen, where
would my children be to-day?
But | hope this move will lead to other
moves that air just as much needed, one
of which is a general and otherer cur
tanment of expenses all round. The
fact is we are getting terribly extravagant
& onless we paws in our mad career, in |
less than two years the goddess of liberty |
will be seen dodgin into Pawn Brokers
shop with the other gown done up in a
bundle, even if she don't have TO Spout |
the gold stars in her head baDd-let us
all take hold jintly, and live and dress
like our forefathers, who know'd |
more'n we do, If they want quite SO hon.
est.
There air other cbeerin signs. We
don't for instance, lack great Gin'rals
and we certainly don't lack brave soj-rs
but there's one thing l wish we did lack,
and that is our present Congress.
At special Congressional lection in
my district, the other day, delibritly
voted for Henry Clay. ! admit that.
1t was IL p. m. when 1 reached my
homested and knockt healthy knock on
the door thereof.
A night cap thrusted itself out of the
front chamber winder. 1t was my dear
Betsey's nightcap. And a voice said:
"Who is it?"
at is a man p / answered 10 gruf
vols.