Evansville daily journal. (Evansville, Ind.) 1863-1866, 1865-08-30

She Wa wsepfHg-Ahs well a-day
whIsp red % shall be your sweetheart, love -
Aud she said, " If yon Ike. yen may"
CoxUsDRUMs What 10 the difference
between the Dramatic College Fair and
other fairs2 la the latter you find the
stalls 10 the fair, and 10 the former yon
find the fair in the stalls.
What instrument is chiefly used in
upholding the birthplace of Podgers
a TooIe.
"TeIl me where il fancy bred2"
Fancy bread is in the refreshment room
# it Is not all gone. sre, "a.
If asked yona for a fI, 900, what
would you wish2 Wish / might get it
What conundrums are always at
homer Those that are never found out
Troubles are like babies; they grow
bigger by nursing. go e-'a
II one half the people knew what the
other half said about them, friendship
would be entirely unknown.
Pleasure is but a ball that a child
runs after so long az it keeps rolling,
but which he kicks away from him as
oooH 40 ~ SeOPS. ~ -+t ~ =" as+a q
A BOYS Observation-Disclosures a great
tree, close to the village, two boys
found walnut 1T belongs to me"
said Ignatius, "for was the fret to see
il. No, il belongs to me, cried Der.
nard, for was the first to pick it up"
And so they began to quarrel in earnest.
" | will settle the dispute" said an older
boy, who had just come up he placed
himself between the two boys, broke the
nut in two, and said: tsThe one piece
of shell belongs to him who first saw the
nut; the other piece of shell belongs to
him who picked it up; but the kernel /
keep for judging the case. And this, "
be said, as he sat down and laughed,
1" is the common end Of most lawsuits"
A Coon WORD FOR THE SEUHK.-The
american AgrscuIturist takes up the
cudgel in defence of the despised. but
seldom kicked skunk, and gives him a
good notice. Our contemporary says:
q All summer long he roams your
pasture at night, picking up beetles and
gruhs, poking with his nose potato hills
where many worms are at work. H.
axes possession Of the wood-ehuck, who
has quartered himself and family upon
your clover field or garden, and makes
short work with ell the domestic ar
rangements of that unmitigated nui>
.ance. With this white backed sentinel
round, you can raise clover in peace,
md the young turnips will flourish
Your beans will not be prematurely
mapped nor your garden sauce.
CRowDIEG A BACHELOR -" What did
sou come here after2" inquired Miss
Susan Draper of bachelor friend, who
had made her a call when the rest of
be family had gone out
come to borrow some matches"
he meekly replied.
/" Matches That's a likely story |
Why don't you make a match2 / know
Sbat you came for," exclaimed the de
ighted miss, as she crowded the old
bachelor into corner; "you came 10
KISS and hug me almost to death, but
on shan't without you are the strongest,
md the Lord knows you are"
l an out on the trail of dear" as
the fellow said when be stepped on one
II the female street sweepers.
Owing to the high, price of meat of
all kinds, company has been started to
manufacture pork out of pig iron.
The DEAR BABIES -Conventiopally,
infancy Is only another name for inno-
cence. Practically, they are often as
wide as the poles asunder Mothers, of
course, will dispute this proposition, yet
they know, in the depths of their affec-
tionate hearts, that it is too true Pro-
duce your philanthropic baby. Show us
q sample Of the race that viii not fight
Do they not seize us by the hair aud tug
thereat, With exulting war-whoops, as If
they longed to scalp us2 Is it Dotnec.
essary to keep their nails short, in order
to avoid scari6cation2 Has any baby
ever been known to exhibit the slightest
emotion of gratitude2 Do they not
murder our sleep, compelling parents to
rise at the dead hour Of night and walk
marches against time until daylight
Is 1t not common thing to see them
become partially apopletic with. unbri-
died passion1 And then, look ct their
hypocrisy2 Do they not indulge in
blood-curdling shrieks of seeming agony.
and when undressed on Suspicion Of
pins. do they not kick up their heels and
crow at the thought Of having hoa1ed
their mothers2 Il is all very well TO say
that Heaven is neer Us in our infancy"
but it is the opinion of observant per
sons, who have studied babies from
philosophical standpoint, that if their
capacity for mischief was equal to their
ferocity they would soon exterminate
the adults of the human family.
Those who are familiar with the Bur-
nett House may remember the large
mirror at the hall leading from the
office, A few nights ago gentleman
stopping at the house, who bad been
unloading TOO much glassware to be
steady in his legs, or lucid in his brain,
came in and passed through the hall in
search of his room Reaching the mir
ror at the end of the; hall, he caught
sight of reflection in the glass. and
mislaking II for an attache of the hotel.
addressed it as follows:
/" Will you show my [hic) room
please p y.G s. -, $3.50
A pause and DO reply. he spoke
again. in louder, and severe tone:
"Can you tell me where tor-seyen is7"
Receiving no answer to his interroga-
ton, be turned indignantly on mis- heel,
and sought clerk Billy WilkinsORs and
SAID: - 800
: "whos that Teller in the (hic) hallf
Most 'pertinet Teller ever saw. Cant
answer civil question. Ain't be (hic)
drunkf' ~ . e LAs4 AtA
Wilkinson admitted the possibility,
and saw that the weary traveller was
sent to his rest at afor-seven." That