Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1865-05-31

al think they smell stronger than the
deuce r'.. cried I, beginning to lose my
patience.
Merciful heaven r. exclaimed the sal
low faced man, "he is a pro-slavery |"
Sir" said the landlord, who had been
in earnest conversation with half dozen
ladies for the last five minutes; these
ere women folks won't be satisfied with
out kissin of yel They want to have it
said they have kissed SherrydanP P !
I blusbed up to the roots Of my hair.
" Law how modest he is P' said one
of my feminine friends. He's as red as
eur turkey gobbler !"
The prospect of being kissed by some
of those pretty girls was decidedly agree
able; I felt delicious over it but those
vinegar-visaged old womenl I shrunk
from the ordeal. But I am naturally
gallant man, and rejecting that I could
wash my face abundantly-I consented.
'Come one come all !" said I.
They obeyed. They flung their arms
around my neck, and, surrounded me on
every hand. felt like a picked sardine.
I smelt musk, onions, patchouly, snuff,
jockey club, hard cider, cologne, dough-
nuts, boiled mutton, cinnamon, mustard
seed, cardamon buds, and every other
odor under the sun
kissing is grand invention, but there
is some choice in it, 1 think.
At last, they had all kissed me but one,
and she was standing little apart max
ing preparations. I noticed her with a
mighty trembling. She was ugly as an
ogre, and the look of dogged determine
tion on her wizzened face convinced me
that I need hope nothing from her
mercy.
"I never could taste anything with
my teeth in I" she exclaimed in an un-
dertone, and instantly out came afuIl set
of teeth, and she rushed toward me. I
grew giddy with the prospect, and turn
ing fed before he, like the pillows be-
fore a hurricane.
I had no thought for the figure I cut
my only object was to get out of her
reach. Through the entry, down a flight
of back stairs, knocking overthe hostler,
and the cook who were giggling together
on the steps; through the Yard, where
let the larger part of my coat tails in
the possession of covetous dog; and
over fence into the open country. And
all the time could hear the steps of my
> pursuer close behind me.
You may run !" cried she; but I'll
= catch ye It shant be said all the vim
r men in Pineville kissed Gen. Sheridan
u but me I'll do it or die r.
: Good gracious so 1 had been mis-.
q taken for Gen. Sheridan No wonder
} the people had turned out en- masse tc
=, welcome mel
And still I hurried on. The snow
D." was deep was very nearly blown, ant
I sunk deeper and deeper at every step
u My female friend gained on me, and JUS
as fell headloug in a concealed mut
hole, she grasped me by the collar.
And before I could clear myself, sh,
had done the deed. She had kissed me
The landlord had followed just behind
and 1 offered him ten dollars to get M
~ to my Aunt Nabby's that night.
- He accepted the bribe, and just befOr
day-break I sank at the feet of my re
spected relative.
u laid abed for a week afterward, to-
:" much exhausted to stir; but saw cop
y of the Pineville Eagle, and in it the fol
.' lowing paragraph:
"GRoss IMPOSITION "A low live
wretch passing himself off as Gen. Phi
OF Sheridan, in our village, and putup tn
o. Washington House on Friday evening
as There was quite a demonstration amonj
our citizens before the impostor was dis
covered The bogus general has gone t
E. parts unknown. 1t is supposed he wa
to some drunken lunatic, from his conduct.
We I make no comments, but judge m
" sensations.