The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1865-02-24
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ZeVs IscUcneu, tHe CfeFtCW V0y.
| The late Rev Zeb. Twitchell was the
most noted Methodist minister I'm Yer
mont Tor shrewd, queer and laughable say
lnss- In the pulpit he maintained a suit
able gravity of manner and expression.
but out OF the pulpit he oyer1iowed with
fun- Occasionally he would. ii emergen-
cy seemed to require. introduce something
queer into sermon for the sake of arou--
ING the Tagging attention of his hearers.
1t was he who originated the story of tLe
great musquitos. Seeing that his audi
enee were getting sleeply, he paused in his
discourse, and digressed as follows:
Brethren, you haven't any idea OF the
sufferinsS of our missionaries IN the new
settlements on account of the musquiioS.
The musquitos I'M some of those regions
are enormous A great many of them
Will weigh a pound, and they Will GET up
on the logs ar,l bark when the missiona-
mes are going along" Bv this time all
eyes and ears were wide open and he
proceeded TO finish his discourse. The
next day one of his hearers called him 10
account for telling lies in the pulpit. There
never was nuSquito that would weigh 4
pound ''But | didn't say one of Them
would weigh a pound; said great many
of them would weigh a pound..nd l think
million of them would But you said
they barked at the missionaries" No.
no, brother. said they would Get on
the logs and bark. If there was bark ON
the logs they couldn't GET on the logs with
out getting on the bark
Mr.. Twitchell was verr >killiui
musician and exeelled rs yiolini~t- Be-
fore he entered the ministry hi~ services
were in great demand al hallS. and were
always abundantly reoompenSed- After
he had preached awhile ON a very small
salary, and that not paid without much
and vexatious delay, his clothing began TO
be too dilapidaied TO appear respectable
He called on the stewards for money. but
they neglected 10 furnish ii. Al last he
called the attention of the congregation 10
the subject by few remarks on the sub
iect Brethren, this was "A very nice
coat when L had ii, but You see ii Is gel
ting thin and thrc:tdhare- iidii,-l this
coat on TO nv back, and if l don't get
some of my dues for proachinr pretty
soon, shall fiddle another one on The
money was forthcoming before MANY days
When Mr. Twitchell WAS presiding
elder On the ':Springfield District two
brothers were among the number of the
circuit preachers To one OF these la said.
George. YOU can preach a great deaf bet
ter sermon than Charles, but You never
will be as popular a preacher H. he
'sWhy not p because you can't say
how do you do p so prettily-''
There was once associated with Mr.
Twitchell. as his colleague on a large cir
cult. Young minister who has since le-
come a somewhat prominent man in the
Methodist denomination They we're
passing certain tavern in Barnard. when
Mr. Twitchell said 10 his .:,s>ociate. in a
confidential manner.-'-lsrolher l.,
the last time / lodged in that house slept
with the landlords wife ..W hat did you
say 2" inquired Mr.. H., hardly daring 10
believe his own ears. Il said that the ia>t
time lodged in that house l slept with
the landlords wife" There could he no
mistake, and the young ministers heart
was sorely grieved at the delinquency OF Il
man whom he had regarded with 50 much
respect He pursued his way in silence
and soon left Mr. Twitchell and went to
his own house. But his sense of duty
gave him no re>t, and in a dav or two he
went TO see Mr.. Twi1chell on the subject
Il have come 10 see you Brother Twitcl-
ell said he, ''about that afiairat the rav-
EN-" ''Why, what Is the trouble
Trouble. enough | should think there
would be, for your conscience" said Mr..
Il. Il don't think there WAS ANYTHING
wrong about it We'll. l do. think
there was a great wrong" I've talked
with the woman about If since | SAW Won.
and she doesn't think twas wrcng."
We'll, shall expose YOU: am not gong
10 hide your wickelne>s- | shall 90 right
off and tell the official members. and haye
Won stopped from preaching and the
excited young man WAS hurrving AWAY, 10
put the threat IN execution. when Mr.
Twitchell called after him-~IIold on a
minute, Brother t., if you must expose
me you must. but there l. one circumstance
that perhaps | ought 10 mention thai may
he some excuse for me. IL III tn.c !
spoke et' 1 kept Tie tarora n.g'cJ.-Rsr.
2 IL UInfe. an tic IL Pn.,ri