The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1865-04-08
from The Pacific Monthly.
nv First Visit to Congress.
BY TlGG MONTAGUE.

II.
40 from uneasy maps all night as the tram
slowly rumhlcd along lie intermlnablc route;
with his pesky SHOW your tickets. gentle
inca -
say peskv in the American sense Of HE
word. not that know that il posses any
other sense: but thea ] want everybody 10
know that am not an American. and never
intend to be one if can help it. am not
particularly fond Of being drafted. can Tell
ou. Some call lne a .!crS"yman, but shall
not confess whore belong to.
Two o'clock in the morning And as
looked out of the car.window | saw IN the
murky li.ht Of greasy moon %nara-houSe
to the right of US. a guard. house to the l"it
of us. and guard. house in front OF rs, all
filled with muskcts and soldiers. So mUeh
for the war. ,.r
But | had bill before Congross-a I'LL TO
incorporate the Universal Sell. Supporting
Anti Monopoly l'ivc.Ccnt National Subscnp'
ton Banking Company.
Having bill before Congress. and not
being particularly DESTROYS of enduring the
cHtortions of Washington hotct HE any
longer than wa absolutely necessary,
jumped up. handed a man twenty hIe cents
for ioohins at me. Ikncw that had waited
\ moment longer it would. have been hi)y,j
left the car, took coach, thtly cents
llan,icd my baggage six paper collars and
tooth brush) to q black boy, ihity GEMS ana
rode oycr to the Mctronolit0n.
Between the station. winch Is near the
rapjtol. and the Metropolitan, winch l. near
halfway down Pennsylvania Avenue. there
are two hotels and two stores: yet the dis.
lance il something better than II mile.
male tli, observation to the clerk al TIC
hctropoIian, and il" Immediately charged
me on the books with nifty cents Intro
,iuccd to Beau Hickman. iitiy cents was
shown to my room. Unity cehls,J ana went 10
sleep. (Snorc. snorc.)
Some call me II Briton. Being a Brlton
rot up in the morning aud shaycd myself
Fifty cents. cork money! a. ked the way
to the Car;tol fifty cents and was driven
there in a horse. car, five cents.
| notice they don't charge a cent extra, a.
they do in New York, for the one-eighth of
u cen, allowed by the Revenue Bill. Asked
the reason. and was charged fifty cents for
being told. The reason is that members OF
Congress would object to paving It. and
might take away the charter OF the road,
| am Briton.
am rronl OF il.
Being Briton. and being proud of it,
take this occasion to remark that turning
the front of the Capitol away from the city
was q capital Joke. 1t was a capitol Joke.
because, Notwithstanding it is two miles from
the White House, it has opened the back.
door to Presidential intrigue.
But | have no business to speak oi such
things. because am a Briton but as every
Englishman is expected, by Jovc, to do his
duty, | simply remark that this is not the
way we do that sort OF thing III England.
YOU know. -
handed my card 10 the aoorkeepcr Of
tie Hall of Representatives.
..N, I;n,r N,ntar,a - he road .tah
we'll haven't the pleasure OF knowing ligg
Montague. sir.
'."hat!'' exclaimed, clutchng his but
,on-hole in my hui,d and speaking rapidly III
Bengalese. mot know figg Montague. for.
merry Secretary OF the Anglo Bengalee-
Life 4 ss,tarance and Self Operating Trust
Company, attcrward Secretary of the Uni
vcrsa Petroleum Squash Company. and now
Manager of the Universal disappearing
Anti. Monopoly Five Cent National Sub
scription B;mkins Company! Sir, you per.
tcctlyastound me by"
stop. stop" he cried. IF you repeat
thai again, sir. shall be obliged to make a
small charge for listening to you. But
recognize the name, and am delighted to see
YOU. Very afable mani You were the
confrere of the lamented Peck2nitf. | be.
lierc?''
he same
What can do for you, Mr.. Montagpe?'
Il want to scesthc Hon. Mr. Sluggs---'
Engaged in the Commitce-room.'
THE Hon. Mr.. Putsy--''
Engaged in the Committee room.
"'rhe Hon. Jefferson Brick 2"
''Engagcd in the Comnittecroom,
The Hon. George Washington Hancock
Jones o.
Engaged in the Committee
"tli engaged in the Commit ce room"
''All engaged in the Committeeman.
"Ah!'
':Ah"
Wishing tho door keeper tvery atiallc
mani gooil morning, strolcd about the
grounds until the members returned from
the Committeeman. Saw the statute OF
Columbus rolling ten.pns. and George
Washington in his undergnrment sitting on
n tripod and rrophesyng the future great
ness of the country. Saw Westward, Il"
the Dying Tecumseh. and Perry determined
NOT to give up the ship. and daring General
Grant ftom TIE opposite doorway to follow
him through the canvas painting and the
stone wall beyond. Convinced that nobody
could follow the daring navigator except the
Rebel General Jackson. next turned my
attention to the Hall Of Representatives.
Went up to the gallery, saw leutz's painting
again, twenty-five cents for n descriptive
catalogue. and fifty cents to have the Col
den Ghte' pointed out to me- and then
took look at the House. ...
Ten or fifteen members present. and the
clerk reading of dozen important bills
As each bill was read off the speaker put
she question, 'Shall the bill pass2''
Nobody answers:
''All who are in favor Of passing this bill
will please answer in the afiirmative!'
Nobody answers.
Contrary, in the negative"
Nobody answers.
The ayes have it, aud the bill is carried, -
Nobody answers. The members are busy
ranking documents, eating apples, writing
letters, chewing tobacco, sncking candy, and
picking their teeth. No time to vote Got
som ething else to do. More bills read and
passed. Reporters busy writing out speeches
that are never made. Soldiers in the gallery
waiting for bill to pass raising their pay to
twenty dollars a month. Bill is passed,
same way as the others, and the soldiers go
out and stand treat to one another all round.
Not the way we do it in England, you
know. ........ ..
Presently a member rises to point Of
order. He has read an article in the Kala-
mazoo Terrific Guardian whichrefects upon
his political course in Congress, Offers
resolution OF censure npon the editor there
of, and demands vote. Instantly dozen
little boys run out of half dozen doors,