Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-07-27
where the Lion ROareth and
the wang doodle MOurneth.,,

My BELOVED BRETHERGNG Il am a
unlarnt Ilard.shcIl Baptist preacher. of
whom you've no doubt hearn aiore and
now appear here to expound the scripters
and pint out the narrow way which leads
from vain world TO the streets of Jarusa-
lem and my tex which ] shall choose for
the occasion is in the lcds of the Bible. some.
whar between the Second Chronic. ills and
the last chapter of Timothytitus and when
you find it, you II find it in these words -
And they shall gnaw a file, and fec unto
the mountains Of Hepsidam, where the lion
rroarcth and the wang doodle mourncth for
his first born
Now, my brcthering, as I have before
told you, am an oDe1dicated man, and
know nothing about grammcr talk and col
lige highfalutin, but Pm plane unlarnt
preacher of the Gospil, what's been fore.
ordained and called to prepare pervarse
gcncrashun for the day of wrath-ah =
For they shall gnaw file, and fee unto the
mountains Of fHepsidam, whar the lion roar.
eth and the wang-dOodle mourncth for his
first born '-ah
My beloved brethcring the tex says they
shall gnaw file. 1t does not say they mnv.
but shall. Now, there is more than one
kind OF file. There S the hand saw file, the
rat.tail file, the single file, the doubel file,
and profile but the kind spoken of here
Ism one OF them kind naythcr, bekaws it,
ahgger ofspeech and means going it alone
and getting ukcred for they shall gnaw
file, and flee unto the mountains of Hepsi-
dam, whar the lion roareth and the wang
doodle mourneth for his first born '-ah
And now there be som here with fine close
on thar backs, brass rings on thar fingers.
and lard on thar har, what goes it while
they re yung.; and thar be others here what,
as long as their constitooshins and forty
cent whiskey last, goes it blind Thar be
sisters here what when they gets sixteen
years old, cut thar tller-ropcs and goes it
with rush. But say, my dear brethering.
take careyou don't tind when Gabriel blows
his last trump, your hands played out, and
you We got ukercd-ah +! For they shall
gnaw a file, and fee unto the mountains of
Hepsidam, whar the lion roareth and the
wang doodle mourneth for his first born"
Now, my brethering, they shall flee unto
the mountains of Hepsidam )" but thar s
r more dams than Hcpsidam. Thars Rot.
ter-dam, Had dam, Amsterdam. and
Don t-care adam the last of which, my
i brethering, is the worst of all, and, reminds
me OF sirkumstans ] onst knowed in tn,
a state of lllcnoy There was a man wba
. built him mill on the north fork of Age
8 Crick, and it was a good mill and ground 6
, sight of grain; but the man what built i
: was miserable sinner, and never give anv.
). thing to the church, and, my dear brother
+ ing, one night there came dredful storm
i OF wind and rain, and the mountains of the
5 great deep was broke up, and the water
i rushed down and swept that man mill dan
? to kingdom cum, and when he woke up hC
found that he WASH t worth dam--ah :
q For they shall gnaw file, and flee unto the
@ mountains OF Hepsidam whar the lion roar
: eth and the wang doodle mourneth for hi
j first born--ah -
G hope | don't hear anybody larfin, do l
9 Now, '.whar the lion roareth and the
| wang doodle mourncth for his first born =
, an Ihls part of my tex, my bcscaching
prethcring, Is not to be taken as it says. 1t
don mean the bowling wilderness, whar
John the Hard shell Baptist fed on ocusts
and wild asses, but it means, my brethcring.
the city Of New l'Orleans, the mother of
t harlots and hard lots, whar corn is wuth six
bits bushel one day and nary a red the mex;
whar niggers are as thick as black bugs in
, spilled bacon ham, and gamblers, thieves and
pickpockets goes skiting about the streets
like weasels in barn-yard whar honest
men are scarcer than hens teeth and whar
strange woman once took in your beloved
teacher. and bamboozed him out of two
| hundred and twenty seven dollars in the
, twinkling of sleeps tail; but she can
! do it again Hallelu iah-ah! For they
shall gnawa file, and flee unto the mountain.
( OF Hepsldam, whar the lion roareth and the
E wang doodle mourneth for his first born
, ah
My brethering, | am the captain of that
fiat-boat you see tied up thar, and have got
, aboard of her flour, bacon, taters, and as
good, Monongehela whisky as ever was
drank, and am mighty apt to get big price
> fort them all but what, my dear brethering
would 1t all be wuth, if had not got reli-
gion,? Thar's nothing like religion, my
bretherlng; it's better ner silver or gold
glmcrack; and you can no more get to heav-
en- withoutit, than Jay, bird can flywithout
a tail-ah Thank the Lord I'm an
oncddicated man, by brethering; but I've
sarched the Scripters from Dan. te Beer
, sheeba, and found Zion rite side up, and
hard-shell religion the best kid of religion
-ah lis not like the Methodists, what
specks to get to heaven by hollerin' hell
, fire; nor like the Universalists, that get on
the broad gage and goes the hull hog-ah;
, nor like the Iewnited Brethering, that takes
each other by the slack of thar trowSers and
) hists themselves in; nor like the Katherlicks
that buys threw tickets from their priests
but 1t may be likened unto a man what has
to cross the river-ah and the ferry boat
was gone, so he tucked up his breeches and
wwaded across-ah! 'For they shall gnaw
file, and flee unto the mountains of Hepsi-
dam, whar the lion roareth and the wang
doodle mourneth for his first born -
Pass the hat, Brother Flint, andlct every
Hard-shell Baptist shell out.