The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1865-09-19
Josh BIIIinGn7s.


The Troy NcIcS-one of the brightest
of our country exehanges-has Just
been celebrating its first Annual Festi-
val. Among the principal speakers on
the occasion was Josh Billings. The
chairman on calling Josh out, gave the
following description of him:
Some of you who have read the Troy
NeLCS during the past wear NAV like to
know something of the personnel of
TINT quaint, unique droll, funny, yet
sensible humorist who, under the sig
nature Of Josh Billings" hns acquired
so wide celebrity He is child of
impHlse-Only forty-siX years of age
and silver mounted. He tells me that
what he docs he must do quickly.
Says he-"IfI stop to think soon git
lost-if take n rest couldn't hit the
hroadside of n circus tent So you see
that he is gushing child of genius
ana say let him gush--the more the
better. lie was born in Bershire cOun-
ty, Mass, beside the green pastures
and still waters of the Housatonick-
emigrated at the age of fifteen to the
turbid waters of the Ohio and MissisS-
ippi-wns educated amid the strife of
men-nnu IS six feet three inches in
height, as You will discover when he
rises to speak. He has dabbled in all
kinds of business, from driving sheep
to running stern wheel steamboat
has n powerful recollection, but no
memory-is neither rich nor poor nor
any desire to be-believes All work is
honorable except dirty work. He says
he believes in the Christian religion,
and hud rather be an idiotic beast than
an unbelieVer. This is about all that
know of him or that lie knows of him
self, as far as heard from. / should add
that he is of n nervous nature, would
Na.UNN lace NaF. IL Ew... IL.
is more afraid of mouse nibbling in u
wainscot, than of an elephant on a
raid.
JosH's speech in reply is one of his
cleverest "efforts." The report of it in
the Netrs is as follows:
GENTLEMEN AND MIR. CHAIRMAS:-
rize with CRATE difldense for the fust
time in mi life, tew address an improp-
tew assemblage. What kan say il in-
slant, and i kant alter it; i Kant sit
doun, or stand up, and study n thing
out, emmy more than kan set down
and think how tew lift ton. We hay
met here, just for fun; and belief that
aul things, including truth, hay fun
redikilous side tew them, and fully
beleaf, that while Satan, with consul
mate skill, fills hiz ranks hi the arts of
seducllshion, virtue should resort tew
the same means. beleaf iii sugar.
cOated pills,a beleaf that virtue and
wisdom kan be smuggled into n MANS
soul bi n good nRtured proVerb, better
and deeper than TO be morticed into 1t
with n wortnwoOd nlnllet and chiscl.
We hav met tew selebrate the birthday
of n Sunday newspaper, the child IL n
year old, and i2 IL growing niselY. Sum
people doubt the propriety of Sunday
newspapers, they seem tew think that
the Sabbath wuZ made only for the acts
. nN-N ~
religion wuZ never designed M a biz
ness, but only tew regulate and kor-
rekt dizziness with-i should NJ soon
think oV tunnelling Eoosik mounting
hi prIyer-whcn IL people devote awl
their time tew religion, superstition and
biggotry are sure tew preVnle. Man IL
the only thing lSrented with tha. mower
tew Ian; birds and flowers kan nlmoste
dew it, and dogs would like to,-muIes
smile with their heels. Fun wnZ made
for the million, chicks for the few, and
the man who kan invent n generous
and healthy snuce tew enlivcn IL dish
oy billed green's with, il n christian, -
fun may never hay furnished II SPLEEN
did dinner, but IL haz helped swaller
menny n poor one. "SiN days shalt
thou labor and ON the seventh rest, -
thare IL no labor in fun, and Sunday
newspaper duz awl its wutk on SRtllf-
day. had rather tend one wedding
than ndoZen phunerals; and birth,
even Il 1t aint emmy thing more than the
hatclling of n ducks eg, iz alwus an
other suckcess. Life IL short, and that
IL one CRATE recon Viii it ought alwas
tew be cheerful, and fully beleaf that
when Gabriel bloze his horn, the first
ones that riZe, Will wear n smile on
their fases. Judas betrayed with n Inn.
and n kiss, but the fun ov the thing
waz, he went Off and hung hisseif. He
that kant lnf IL tew be pityed, and him
that wont laff IL few be feared. / am
and will bet 10 dollars that wont
run the risk ov doing it again. Adew.
''Josh Billings" is understood to be
the nom de plume of Mr.. Henry w.
Shaw of Poughkeepsie,