Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1865-03-24

Gave his corpse funeral splendid.
That il all know about It: . ....
If il is not sufficient write
BY next mail, to Alfred Tenny-
Son, T.. L., the Isle of Wight.
Melbourne Ptnch.
From the New Yorker. .. go Hr.. b.. .-...
My Spring Campaign.
Twenty years ago my aunt asked for
the privilege of giving her name to a
little, ugly mass of flesh, blood and con-
tortiOns, and was dubbed Betsy Jane
Herrick. | have been told / was quite
a pretty child, when my face was
straight (and that was like angels WIS.,
its, for 1t was constantly in squalling
attitude). Indeed, my mother told me
she never would have had the patience
to raise me if she had not thought that
l would make Aomething when grown
/ have made something :-nothing more
nor less than -Bleomer! l have the
misfortune, at present, to be the only
surviving child. The others there were
three of them, being degree crosser
than myself, cried themselves to death
said to have died of fits. ...sI
When l arrived at my fifteenth year
my parents concluded that Betsy Jane
needed some polishing; and as farmer
Jones was about to send his Julia to a
boarding school, it was decided that |
should also have a smattering of fash
ionable school training. was already
beginning to see that my cognomen was
far from being poetical, SO l gave nv
name to the secretary of the seminary
as "B. Jennie Herrick." That was
enough to give an appreciative mind II
deep impression of my Importance.
Three yesrs were spent i'm conjugating
the verb to iOre through French, Ger
man, and Latin, with other accompani-
ments of music, drawing and painting.
l never studied much, but my chum
said always recited mt my turn so at
the close of my school-life, I acquitted
not at all polished; for " l wanted to
laugh 1t was loud enough to awaken a
moderate sleeper quarter of u mile
away. u.
A year spent i'm traveling-a season i'm
looking at the different dresses in Sara
toga and Newport--a winter divided be-
tween the " Hub of the Universe" the
Pure City," and the "City of Broth
erly Love-" The last year had been
spent at home mostly, surrounded by n
flock of lovers-lovers of Squire Her.
rick's hospitality and lovers of non
sense compounded and gilded with
| fashion.
! A little thing turns the tide In ones
life sometimes. "A little thing caused
me to look inside of my poor miserable
| life-as barren Of beauty as a desert, as
useless and aimless as an idiots, as con-
temptible and deplorable as an office
seekers. 1t made me sick of myself
My advantages had been liberal, and
my talents were of no mean order
And there had been, Notwithstanding
an unceasing round of beauX and par
ties, terrible expenditure of money,
and all to no purpose. / was disgusted
with it, 1t was wearing my life out l
was growing nervous, hysterical, had a
poor appetite, was troubled with that
everlasting complaint of woman's, the
headache. How | hated it all!
But what should L do? i thought of
n variety of employments, but it would
need time for the carrying out of such
plans. l wanted something immediate
for fear my new resolutions might wea-
ken. LIZ had been man should have
done as our best and noblest have done
gone to the war. did the next thing
i went to war with myself My ado
rable lovers could they endure the tri-
al to which their nerves were to be sub
jected? They We're but human, and a
breeze Of sense might blow them away
My first battle was with my parents
next morning.
Z" I've request TO make, father and
mother, and / very much desire that
you may grant it," My face flushed all
over at this. could feel the blood tin
gle to the very finger ends.
"What is it, Betsy Jane ?" says fa-
ther: tie i, HAS viii Hastings been max
"N0. Will Hastings has nothing to
do with it, nor anybody's will but my
own. IT'S just this: i want you to
dismiss our hired girl; there are only
three OF us in the family and really
think we need no GIRL"
But, " interrupted my mother, "do
you think your poor old mother wants
No; mean that / don't want to
Kill myself doing nothing. have lived
uselessly about long enough"
There were numberless objections to
this, but, by diligent entrcaty and ar
gument, l carried the day. Three days
later assumed the position Of Bridget.
But before the half Of the morning had
passed ! was Tired to death-yes, "my
lady was tired to DEATH" If / went un
stairs, one hand must hold up a auantf-
ty Of crinoline and skirts. If / came
down stairs there was the frat, tat, tat,
of the steel upon the stairs. If passed
into narrow place, both hands must
be enlisted in squeezing the balance into
collapsed state. ] was in constant fear
of tipping boxes, jugs, catching my
dress OH nails, or wiping off some con-
venicnt black kettle. My dress must
be pinned up, or beautifully drabbled
around the bottom. My shoes were too
thin for outdoor wear.
had another battle to fight. There
were no lives sacriiced-only few
false notions Of gracefulness, dignity,
etc, quietly beheaded and buried. NV
first attack was at the store and result
ed in the capture of pair of balmoral
calf-skins-No. illegally captured of
course. The dress question occupied
my attention next. j had heard of
bl0omers, but most ungraciously stuck
up my proboscis at them, like hundreds
of other foolish women who knew moth
ing Of their exce1lenccs. Ibid not have
any of Dr. Harriet Austin's patterns or
guides--neither wanted any. l took
from my wardrobe a cast-of dress, very
good, except that ii was most shameful
ly switched out around the bottom.-
Cutting off the rags and hemming it
up, I had dress two or three inches
above the tops of my shoes. The next
morning appeared in the kitchen sans
crinolinc, sd,S trail, sO,,s funny did
dies. Cousin John, who happens in to
&c nDI \ "a nj