Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1865-11-18

ln0re are no roses IN the wilderness or
vines that enclose the piazza Of the coun-
try house where write, bu: On easterly
wind, Of NJ UGH ssperity and virulencs, is
making itself very much at home there,
and ~hist!,ng like q first class boatswaiu
in whose mother was caliope.
EASILY enough hi. easteriy wind brings
me TO the rheumatism.
1t aI'o brings ,he rheumatism to me.
Did you ever have a red haired man
throw a milestone on Jour hand, aud then
bore into your elbow with censer.bit7
This is the sensation Of the infam ma
tory Rheumatism, as performed by mo for
seven consecutive days and nights.
l had some very 6ne, eccentric and hu-
morous idsas during this period bu.
when fellows right thumb is swollen to
the resemblance Of a Hamburg sausage,
and his foreEngor has wirs run through
the bones lepgihwise, he il not in good
c condition to write down even the most
brilliant mental sciu.illa:ions. a--.
Neither is he expert with those fra;i,
ursssGn,ng, bat potent Instruments, the
knife and fork.
Buttons, also, at such times, present a
formidable resistance, aud the razor be.
comes a vain aad impoten. toy.
The only thing, in fact, that runs the
easier, and slides the r,cre vigorously for
rheumatism, is profanity.
There is peculiar twist to tho elbow,
coupled with simultaneous twinges in the
hip and ka-e, that produce great fuency
in that particular.
The remedies ones friends suggest are
by no means the least troublesome por.
ton of the complaint.
One suggests = common horse chest
nut, or buckeye" carried in the trousers
pocket, as an ,ntaiiiaIe preventative.
A lady says laat al application of cot
ton batting is a cure thing
once knew of a iam Gus cricket player
Who was cured OF batting BY rheuma-
tism; hat I never knew the rule would
work 10th ways. id .a% 3
A third suggestion was that should
be envei5 ptd from hesg to foot in blue
clay, 20, to be disturbed until it clacked
off OF itself.
This last struck me as a good idea, e.
Pscially if were to be placed at the
bottom ola pit six fee. deep, and be thus
enve!o?ed, the whole to be then filed up,
and nest headssone erected to mark the
place.
am sure that the clay under these cir
cumstsnces would crack and come off of
itself. a. about the time when Gabriel per-
forms his SOLO ob!sato for the trumpet.
These are but invalid conceits; of the
rheumatism rheumatic but can hardly
do better to-day. This is, in fact, the
first nave written for the press for near
y fortnight, and is but sort Of expert
ment
! Indeed, if it gives you the same pain
in thu elbow to read it, that it gives me to
write it, | sine erely pity you.
But il, as | said, ,,easy reading is hard
writing this stands u cha,.ce OF being
uneommonly easy Of perusal.
am a little oat Of humor with fate, or
whatever you call il, for this shabby treat
ment- 1t was rather rough to give a fell
low whole summer Of bilious agenies,
with no remittances to hope for excep.
remit,ent fevers, and then to crowd on a
crippling rheumatism at the end Of it'll
1t is hard On fellows stamina and
constitution and thugs. The thought of
dumb bells makes a weak feeling creep
down my back and when l walk leaning
on my cane, you nigh. take me for some
old sport, like Prof. Holmes Last Leaf
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