The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1865-11-04
From the Christian Times.l ~
SPOSGES---A FEk-
TIVE ARTICLE IT

distinct, OF the appearance and qualities
of the sponge. The distinguishing char
acteristic of the sponge is its capacity for
absorbing water. 1t has great imbibing
power. In this il is second only to the
habitues of city rum saloon or village
tavern. The learned tell US that it is an
animal and, if so, it must be like the
lrisliman's alligator" baste that was
all mouth except his tail, aud that was
mouth too" 1t is because Of the won
derful capacity for absorption with which
some men are endowed by nature, or ac-
quired by long and successful practice,
that they have been denominated sponges.
Such persons have the Aoalty and the
skill of imbibing all that is necessary for
| their maintenance, either in physical.
mental or moral point of view. with a
sang .ffoid and matter-of-course sort of
air which is wonderful to behold. For
instance, in the first year of my ministry
II am Baptist minister, reader-a
man drove up to my gate one terribly
rainy afternoon. threw the reins over his
horses neck and knocked at my door /
opened it, and he said:
Is this the Rev Mr. Gladius2'
Yes. sir"
Well, Br G.. my name is Elder
Sponge. | am on my way to the general
association and ! thonght / would stop
over night with you I'm very wet. 50
! please take my horse to your stable, give
him eight or ten ears of eern and run my
buggy nnder cover
Dear render, | was greener then than
am now, and did it. When | came
back to the house | found Br. 8. com
! fortably seated, with his muddy boots on
the round of one of my parlor chairs and
his dripping umbrella standing upon the
pretty rug my wife was at SO much pains
to make. went into the kitchen just
in time TO hear that lady tell our little
hired girl TO go to the store, quarter of
mile away. and get some black tea, for
Br. S. had told her he couldn't drink any
other. We kept that man two DAYS, and
when | arrived at the general association.
| heard of Br. s. telling that we had
treated him very shabbily
An old friend of mine, the son Of a
| Baptist minister, told me once that when
he was boy he really used to think that
he had curried the horses and blackened
the boots of every Baptist in Ohio. He
said their stock OF chickens became so
reduced by the visits Of the travelling
angels Of the Sponge persuasion. that
there was only left one long-leeeed. wary
old rooster. who became so suspicious that
the instant he caught sight OF a .Br
Sponge coming over the brow of the bill
with wide extended wings and yellow
legs anu Ieet Scattering the dust in clouds
behind him, he took to the woods. cack-
ling at the top of his voice, Ny turn
next-my turn next =
| have already alluded to the air with
which the Sponge infiicts himself upon
you. He really seems to think he IS
doing you a great favor, and that you
ought TO be overwhelmed with the sense
of honor done you by his visit. Mrs.
| Gladius can't stand that Mrs. G. is a
| very nice woman, but not long ago she
expressed herself to me somewhat forci-
| bly, in this wise:
didn't care so much about that man
(the Br. Sponge) staying here week, or
about his backing his boots on the win
dow sill. or making me get soft-boiled
eggs and toast for him every morning |
could stand his detestable sanctimonious
snuffie when he prayed, but to thiuk of
his squeezing my hand when he left, and
telling me it must afford me great pleas
ure to carry out the Apostolic injunction
in Hebrews 1872, and that [ would re-
eeiye my reward that can't stand. and
won't stand, there nowp'
IF these sponges were always upon re-
/ ligious or denominational business it
would not be quite so bad, but generally
they are peddling books, selling reapers
or hawking rat-traps about the country.
It is astonishing what demands they will
make of one [ once received letter
like this:
SPoNGEyILIE, Aug. 5.
Rev. Mr.. GLADIUs-DEAR BROTHER
| am Baptist in good standing, and am
engaged in the commission business
Can you inform me what is the price Of
] beans in your village? An early answer
will greatly oblige,
Yours in the bonds of Gospel love,
A. SPoNeE.
i The following was my reply:
/ Mr.. 8. SPoNGE-DEAR SIR: Yours
of - is received. No. Send me a
stamp for the postage Of this letter.
Yours. &c., GLApIus.
A still more summary dealing is thai
of my friend, Rev. Muscular Christian
Ny friend boards at the village hotel, and
not long since he was visited by tall
solemn looking individual, who announced
himself as the general agent of the aurora
borealis aid commission, for supplying
the inhabitants of the north pole with
palm leaf fans and ice cream freezers. He
also said that he supposed it was conve
nient for him to stay there until he coulc
present the subject to the churches.
Certainly, the landlord will be happy
to entertain you, blandly responded my
friend
"Ah, yes, but | want to stop with you
I I always stop with the minister,
"Well, | will let you occupy one O
| my rooms for dollar and half day."
! g But I don't mean that. / mean fol
), you to entertain me as other ministers do
| they don't charge me anything"
!: With that my friend turned and looked
him square in the face and said:
~ What is yonr salary, sir ?"
"Two thousand dollars year and N,
; expenses paid
6 Well, sir, my salary is just eight hun
ldred dollars a year, and if you don't leay