The mountain Democrat., 1865-09-30
" Smiling"

ibuBueu bO uoSTTly tuab Oue VI uio W VaN-
est grins cut bis own head of. We know
many men of another description, who
"smile SO frequently that they tear the
bottoms out of their pockets by sheer
spasmodic action. Smiling" is an Amer
ican institution. 1t is methodical thing
elsewhere here, a habitual thing. This
is distinction for etymologists. In 9th.
er countries hospitalities are of various
kinds. The Mohsve Indian scalps his
guests that he may the longer protract
their visits the Canadian is SO fond Of
the exiles he befriends, that he gives them
carte blaucs to ravage his neighbors' set.
Elements. But the only hospitality known
to the American is the "smile."
An old friend meets another after the
lapse of years: Augustus" he says,
I'VE we're boys together-we were school
mates-l welcome you home with full
heart Let US smiIe," They do this SO
excellently that they break both their
tumblers, and 60 home together on
wheel barrow, like the Babes in the
Woods.
"My dear Arthur" says another per.
son, ''your sister is dead. loved her
once. Allow me to share your deep af.
Fiction. Let US take q drink They
clink their glasses over the new-made
grave, and feel that there is something
left to live for.
We know Of no scene so eminently
characteristic Of our native land as that
Of line, of say forty persons, standing
against public bar. They have pic.
turesqueDess and national ease that thrills
aud gratifiss US. Sometime ago, . friend
of ours visited Europe The first Amer
leans he saw in Liverpool were leaning
upon q counter. hObnObbing, with pewter
mugs in their hands, and he never fully
realized that he was at homo again until
he dropped into . tavern and saw the
arms at case, in full battalion, cOwpCun'
ding drinks.
Our friends are all "smilers." Jeems
q mercantile acquaintance, has two thou
sand year. His household expenses are
eight hundred dollars; the rest effervescel
in smiles" Acque'ine is an artist fol
every two lines that he draws for his fam
lily, he makes FIVE for tippling. None oi
these are inebriates. A man who can
smile without staggering is unworthy o
citizenship. We venture the assertion
that, if the antecedents of such wer,
known, they would he found foreigner
in oil but name.
Have you ever followed any younI
man Of your acquaintance for givcI
distance. lie makes it in a delightful
zig gag. Starting from the Astor Hous,
bar, he proceeds in q tolerably straigh
line to Delmonico's; thence he diverge,
TO vault on the opposite side Of the way
recrosSes to the Saint Nicholas, files tC
the right and abuts against the AnsOr
House, returns to the Metropolitan, slip,
over the street to Paff7s, is retracted t.
the Jones House, and rests with his el
bows upon the bar of the New York
Hotel
The phraseology Of Smiling" is equal
ly original. Here's at you! says Nip
kins. Drink hearty " responds Smith.
"Down she goes exclaims Northall -
Here's all the hair off your head VI
says Ahimelcch. In the course Of one
dav, we have been toasted in the follow
ing phrases: "Safe homel" GOOD
boy !" "Go int" Here's to better
acquaintance !" More of the same sort II
"All serene!" MANY happy days
" MAY your shadow never grow less
To his royal nibs!" Good time COM
ing t Now she goes " "Ship ahoy "
"Pious respects " "Cerulean wishes !"
Nothing shorter!" Well" MAY
you strike lie !" johnny Jumpup "
Kingdom come!
Between these ineongruous sounds and
the quantity Of orange-peel eaten, we be-
came, of course, confused as to our bear
ings and slept with three friends on q
stairway.
The statistics Of smiling are as curious.
A good smiler rufiles his countenance
about two score times day. A hospita-
BILE sniler will treat ninety times a week.
No meal is digestble under the present
civilization unless preceded by one dozen
"horns." These give tone to the appetite.
1t is to be observed, also, that o gradu-
ated smiler knows all the bar-keepers Of
anv note everywhere. He is never com
paniOGeSs. For ten years or more, these
handsome people speak to him gratefully.
1t is: How are you, Charles ?" "What
Is it going to bc?"
But when the smiler runs to seed,as he
surely does, sooner or later, he quits the
bar for the arm chair. There you may
see him, like Chelsea penSioner, satisfied
that, having thrown away his earnings in
life time refulgence, mankind owes his
services gratutous treat, even though
he be unwelcnme.