The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1865-09-02
VARIETY.

Marrying q woman for her beauty is like eating
bird for its singing
Many persons would make gold god; bat gold
has mOdestly declined.
What do we seek redress for Injuries. Where
30 find IL, In juries
Why ought a person never TO mistake his fathers
voice ? Because il is n parent (appsrent) who is
speaking
a PRISvFp's ToAar.-woman-thc fairies. work in
creation. The edition is large. and man should
be without copy.
What Sheridan said OF wine may be applied to
Joking-the best enjoy is that which you crack ct
another persons expense
81 shalt be home next Sunday" remarked
young lady TO her beau, who seemed TO be wavering
IN his attachment. 80 shall T. was the brutes
reply.
OvERrTPuLATIoN- coroner's jury in Wales
turned q verdict in the case of woman who died
suddenly, that Z" she died from congestion Of the
brain. caused by oUeTtiDulGfiOn-
An elderly maiden, meeting a newly married man,
who had been her servant, carrying home cra-
de- exclaimed. " An, John. these the fruits of
marriage 80 - No. madam" replied John. 4" this
De only fruit basket
Sterne used to say, Tue most accomplished way
of using books Is them some people do
lords. learn their titles and then brag their acquant
ance.'
The Louisville Journal saws: "a Boston physi-
oian has discovered that gold has medicinal virtues
SO the yellow metal. we suppose, IL TO become
drug"
Ni!tou when blind married a shrewish wife. a
friend lesirou. OF complimenting the poet his
choice. termed his spouse = 81 can't judge of
coors, said Milton, " and II may be you say. for
1 feel the thorns daily
=. How long will it take go Richmond 30
asked an eager officer at City Point of veteran
Bril- adler holding command there, after got
the good - can't say how long ii will take
y0u." the answer - it has taken me three years
and eleven months
Charles Lamb in the habit Of wearing white
aEanf
a clergyman. Once n a dinner-tsble, among large
numUer Of guests. his white cravat caused such
mistake TO be made, and he was called on to Z" say
grace" Looking up and down the table. he asked,
IN his inimtable. lisping manner Is there clc
clergyman presently "a No, SIR answered q guest.
In them said Lamb. bowling his head, % let us
thank Cod
They had a practice in the old Dutch churches, in
New York. to prevent the preacher from indugiug
in long An hOur-g glass was placed at the
right hand Of the minister. aud IL was the clerks
dut, when the last grains of the sand had run out.
TO remind him that the tiEe to end the sermon had
come, BY three raps Of his This was better
than the plan Of side doors. adopted by the Puritan
fathers. through which they stole out and escaped
when they could endure no more.
Two sparks from London, while enjoying them
selves among the heather IN Argyleshre, came upon
decent looking shepherd reading upon the top Of
hill They accosted him by remarking,-'. You
have "a fine view here; you will see great way 80
'' Ou aye, aye, n ferry great way" '' All you
will America from here ?" ." Farrer than that"
said Donald - All hOw's ;hst?' - Ou. juist wait
till the mist gangs ava, an you'll see the mune ="
Few FRIESDs-A nOblemsn, extremely rich but 8
mser stopping TO change horses at Athlone. the car
Tiage surrounded by paupers, implorng aims, to
whom be turned deaf ear, and drew up the glsss
y ragged o!d woman. going round 10 the other side
Of the carriage bswe in the old peers hearing.
Please you. my lord. just chuck tin penny out
oil your coach, and I'll answer II will Iate all your
JTIsTlis in Athlone''
The PnuOsoFHY or HEAr.-PhilosOpher to sharp
boy" What are the properties Of heat ?"
Boy TIE chief property Is that IL expands
bodies. while cold contracts them
Philosopher Very good, give example,
Boy In summer, when II IS hot, the day is
long, IN winter, when il IS cold, the day IL short
Exit philosopher, lost in smazeuent that 90 ia
ruiIilr instance should have long escaped his
own observation.