Charles City intelligencer. [volume] (Charles City, Floyd County, Iowa) 1864-1866, 1865-12-21
"If they want you to! I want you
t.. Jack Do Won hear ~

"And you promise me to vote the
Democratic Republican ticket, straight
throngb,-1fo scratching out names
and no shirking?" 7a'.".
/" Not bit of it, dearest"
"Jack, the Republicans have viola
ted the Constitution. That sacred in
strument framed by our fathers and
sealed with their blood They have
trodden under foot the best government
that ever the sun shone upon, and made
war upon an innocent, coniding, and
chivalric race. 1t is shameful IN
"Yes, Patty,-abominable !"
And only one thing can rectify the
wrong. The Dcmocrats-the uncors-
querable Democrates must once more
come in power, and then those vile
tools Of bloated aristocracy win sub
side, and return to their pristine OBJ
security, and again peace and plenty
bless this distracted nation" r..
"Yes, Patty that's so,-exactIy.
Promise me, Jacky. darling, to
vote for the Democracy"
"Of course l promise, Patty. Ihave
promised. I will do just as you say,
i think just as you do"
"And you won't promise nobody
else nothing ?" "
"Never, Patty ." ....-..
"The doings of the Republicans are
shameful Yes, dreadful /! 1t makes
my blood boil to think of il There
is nothing i'm the Constitution to sup
port their doing as they have done.
All their acts are unconstitutional
They no business to meddfe with the
negroes They have no business to
recommend white people to marry ne
groes You wouldn't want to marry
a negro, would you, Jacky dear 7"
"Heaven forbid !" cried Jack, with
a shudder
"Well, all who vote the Republican
ticket vote in favor of marrying the
colored race. Remember that, Jack,
when you go to the polls, and cast your
vote for the Democracy, and for the
Constitution"
Yes, dear, will remember said
Jack. ....... ..... ...........
"You have to pay tax on your
wagon, and a tax on your watch, and
you can't even get married without .
stamp on the certi6cate-all the do
ings of these wretched Republicans
Why, expect they'll put tax on kis-
ses yet, don't you, Jacky, dear? 2" and
then followed several reports loud
enough to demand five-cent stamp AT
least. ...
They've been the cause Of all this
terrible bloodshed- every widow and
orphan has been made by them? Oh,
Jack, it's awful and calico is thirty
five cents yard and going up! I've
been wanting calico dress this year,
and can't afford to pay the dreadful
price"
"My dearest Patty ! you shall have
the dress at once J"
Thank you, Jack I; l didn't mean
that Only vote right, and I'll 60 in
rags the rest of my life
The next night Jack went to see
Mary, and Mary was quite as firm in
her political belief as Patty. She
pitched into him at once. ..--
Jack, are you going to the election
tomorrow
Yes, suppose so,' said Jack, a
shiver Of apprehension creeping over
him. ....
(which way are you going 10 vote?"
IL haint thought" stammered
Jack.
"You haven't? Well, I'm very
glad, because want you to vote to
please me. Will you, dear?"
"To be sure. I'd do anything to
please you, Mary, dear ?"
Thank you ; you are so kind. The
Democrats are set of scoundrels.
Don't you think SO, Jack 7"
Yes, DEAR
"And their thirst for power made
the war. Nothing else. They fired
on our forts, and forced us to take up
arms. Only see the taxes they have
brought upon us And how high ev-
erything is | Calico thirty-five cents
a yard, and Eve been wanting dress
so long I"
"You shall have it I" cried Jack, in
desperation =" darn the thirty-five
cents"
"And you'll vote the Republican
ticket?"
Yes, dearest
So here was poor Jack pledged to
do the bidding of two women. He
went to the polls with sad heart. He
took Democratic ticket and pasted it
back to back with Republican ticket,
and deposited it in the ballot box.
The trick was discovered. Both
parties were madder than hatters.
The little boys on both sides stoned
him, and the men on both sides helped
eject him from the hall. And just out
side he met Patty and Mary. Both
seized ON him. ..-.
(Which way did you vote ?" asked
Patty.
Democratic" said Jack
"What |" cried Mary, which way
did you say 7"
ii voted both ways, by hockey! |"
cried Jack.
"You mean, low-lived wretch |"
cried Patty, belaborlng him with her
parasol.'
"You lying, false hearted sneak | "
cried Mary, and seizing a stick Of
brush, she let him have it right and
left.
"By jimminy - cried Jack ~ can't
stand this !" and he set ont upon
run, followed closely by the two girls.
1t was icy, and the ground descending.
and before they realized what was
coming they were all rolling to tho
bottom of the hill together.
"Pll mitten you !" cried Mary.
"And l, too I" cried Patty.
"By jove pair Of 'em ~ said
Jack, "and much obliged to you |" and
picking himself up he fled for home.
He is still anxious to please everybody,
but he is done with women forever.
His heart he says is dead