The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1865-08-26
Concerning E5Us.rnz, spouge..

iItlcaI parry known as the " great un washed"
have some ide&, more or less distinct, of the
appearance -and qualities OF the sponge
This Distinguishing Characteristic OF the
sp.age, is in capacity OF absorbing water
IT has great imbibing pO scr In this it is
second only to the hahituAs # a city rum sa-
loon or a village tavern. The learned ;cii us
that it i, gu animal, aud if so 1t must be Ike
the Irishman's alligator" biste that WIS
all mOuth except his all, aud that Was mouth
to-" |, Is because OF the wonderful capacity
of absorption which some men are endowed
with by nature, or acquire by long and sue
cesstul practice, that they have been denomi-
mated spong, Such perS have the iiicu,
tt and skill OF imhibIug all that IS necessary
for t.eir maintenance either III physical,
mental or moral point OF view, with sang
ti0H and matter of course sort of AR, which
is womderlu! - behold. For instance. in the
first year C NV ministry am a Baptist
minister. re.der-a man drove up 20 my gate
one terrible rainy afternoon. threw tne rens
over his horses neck and knocked ut INV
door | opened it, and lie said:
Is this the Rev Mr. Cha liIs?'
Yes. sir
well, Br G , my name is Elder Sponge.
am on way to the General Association,
AMI though | wuu!l stop over night with
You. I'm very wei, - please take my horse
to your stable. give him eight or ten ears Of
cora. and run ms bIggv under cover"
Dear real-r. | Wa gree the. than | am
now. and | did it When / came bIck 10 the
house i.,uul Brother 5. couoriiby Gated.
with ii, ma '1y bDo's ul III. round o. enc ot
IN: parlor chair, and his dripping umbreIl,
.tanding upon tie pretty ruI NV VIE WIS III
81 much pains TO IKE. went ito IN"
kitchen inst in time II hear that Ltlv tell
O lit:e bred hir d girl to 20 to the store.
gu ,rlrr of a mile awv :, ari gel 50 ne black
TEA. co. BIZ t;irr ) had told her he cDHli't
drink lny other Ne k-ptt that nPu twn d tys,
and when arrived al the q neral \ Ssocation,
I hearl OF Br Their : telling HAT we had
tr"a;el him VERY shah5Iiy.
An Cd friend .. mine the son cf Bap
tist minister. told me once that when he was
a boy he really used t. thin; tina; be bad cur
rieI the horses and b!ack-r ed the bots of
every BIpti-t in Ohio II, sail Their 'ock
of chickens Lecame reduced rs the wits
OF the travelling agents OF the SprIEe per
suasiun. that there VS. ony lett oI- long
IegpeI vary old rooster. who became 50 su,-
;icInus shat the Instant he caught SIGHT of
brother Sponge coming Ter the brow Of the
hill. with w,l, exteuded wings aud yellow
les aud feet scattering Jhe dust ia clDud|
behind him. ne took t. he Gods, cacNling
a.t the top OF his voice, Ny turn nrXt-.nJ
turn urNt.
have already alluded TO thea with which
the Sponge inficJS himself upon yDu. tie
really seems 10 Jhiuk Re i, doing yDu great
favor, ana that you ought II lie Uverwi e.IneG
wrtir the sense OF honor done you By bis visit.
Mrs Gladius can't stand that. AIRS. Gia!ius
Is Il very uice woman AID very cieyer wo-
man, but not lon- ago she expressed herself
III
II d, Il care 50 much abUai that man Il.
g, Br Sponge) staying nere ii week, or about
his backing his boots On the window SILL r
his smoking his nasty pipe in the parior, or
making me get soft boiled eggs and toast FIR
him every morning. l could stand his fe
testabe "a acrimonious snlfIle when b. pra}-
cd. but TO think oil his 81 eezng my hand
whei, he lel,. aud telling 1t must tH,rd
me great pleasure To carry out the Apostolic
iliunction in Hebrews 1872, and that
would receive my reward-that | can stand,
d won't stand, the, pow
Ii the>e Sponges were always upon relig-
ions or demom,ns ional business it would not
be quite So bid, but generally they are ped
ding books, selling reaperS or hawk NJ rat
traps about the country. IL IS astonishing
what demands they viii make of one. l
once RECEIVED letter like fhIs:
SPoNGEvILLE, august >.
Rev. Mr. Gladius:
DgAg BaorHER am Baptist in good
st,udng. aud ala engaged in the commission
business Can you inform me what is the
price of beans in your village? An early
answer will greatly oblige.
Yours in the bonds of Gospel love,
A. SPONGE.
The following was nv reply:
Mr.. 4 Sponge:
Dean SIR: Yours of - is received
n, Send me Il ) amp for the postage OF
this lie ter. Yours, etc, GLApICs. =
4 sill IN )re SUN N Iry lie lling is that 81 my
frie,d, Rev. Muscular Christian. Ally freud
boards at the village hotel, and --oF long since
h was visiteI b. II tall, solemn looking in
diviiual, who announced himself as the gene
raj agent Ut the Aurora BorealiS Aid Com
sn ss,1u. for supplying the destIiu inhabI-
tants N The north pole with palm leaf fans
and Ice cream fi+eezcrs. He also id that ne
supposed that 1t WAS convenient Tor HIM To stay
ii, re until he could prese 1.-THE subject TO the
churches.
C-rtalnlv. the landlord viii be happy to
enterI,ln you," blandy re ponde'l nay friend.
''Ah. yes. bat want To stop with you. /
always stop vi h the minister
Well, | will LIT y1l OCCUPY one OF my
rooms for dollar and :, halt ii day
II dJu't mean that mean for YOU to
entertain me as other ministers do they
don't charge rne ANYTHING.
With that my friehd tarIed and loo,,ed
him l.. the face and sud:
What i; yCur salary, sir 2
Two thousand dollars year and my ex
penses paid.
Well, sir. NY salary i just eight hundred
dollars a year, and il you don't | ave- hi,
room instauter | shall proceed to pat ,ot
out.
WHAT" CALCULATED the general agent
lifting uD hi hands il holy horror. = is tn I,
the spirit of the gospel? Is tbs fulfilling ;h'
injunctioa OF the apostle, AS mucn AS lietl
within you live peaceaby with all men 2
May>be not, replied my friend. - But
am very sure that the apostle Fever meant al
men To live with me, and | interpret the tex
10 mean. AS mnch rs don't lie in you, pu
I'm out and | shall Immediately procee'
from the exposition the application unles
You leave
The general agent left. Reader, don't un
derstand me as indorspg the Rev. Muscula
Christians course. ] must say ihatl 'hi
II a little too severe. / have III contemp'a
tioH mild"r remedy. propose buying a
FOUNDER, planting 1t before my front gale an
loading II with blank cartridge. u hen b
Sponge M hes his appearance will touch
off. This will, | think. III most cases. scar
him. Bnt il he should continue to advance
! shall, then, with my family, execute q mas
terly retreat TO the barn, where shall hav