The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1865-10-07

was only putting myself in the right
titude."
Bully for the attitude !" said L
the attitude and Pluribus Unum Bit |
RS fore yer and how shall | dor
Like the others you see" said she,
, just grabbed her around the waist
nd drawed her up till her rats ouadled
nto my shirt BOSOM, and her crinoline
cooted out behind like the mouth of a
.oal scuttle, and then we began to
Shirl
.Jubitcr Jinks. OF all the messes
hat ever got into that was the worst
Ne was all snarled up as bad as ever |
seed Il skein Of marm's stocking yarn,
when she was coorng blue in the old
wooden dive pot to hjme.
My legs was all pounded black and
blue by the skilltons Of the woman
banging against EN- aud the toes of the
mems patent feathers. My eyes ike to
have got put out with the great gold ar
rers stuck into tall womun's hair, and
[ broke string OF yellow beans into
more than forty pieces, which mighty
stylish feminine saw fit to hitch onto my
coat buttons.
IT, five minnits l was as dizzy as
top. and if anybody had asked me which
end my head was on I'd been jest as
likely to have toll 'em one as tother.
"Stop there stop this lady's founce
is intangled T. cried man that was
whirling woman with nothing on her
but few founces aud couple of bun
ches of flowers.
| didn't know whether he was speak
inc 10 the, or to somebody else, and
what was more didut care so | kept
right on.
The women was hung fast to my but
tons by her laces and fandangles, and
! having her and Dora to whirl was lit
tie to many guns for me.
let 60 OF Dora and me !" yelled L
"I'm little green in this ere humming
top bizness, but I'm bound to learn"
''ReIease my drapery!' said she -
short as pie crust.
"Haint got it " said land I don't
want II, ne!thcr
"lhe wretch y cried she-"Its makes
me shudder to speak of him."
WIavea bottle of my hitters ! They're
a grand pacific for the shivers - said |,
pulling bottle from my pocket"
She struck at it, knocked it ont Of my
hand, aud split the contents ali over my
pauterlouns was mad and give a
su lden wrench, and We parted the
lace stretched out full FIVE yards and
the woman tell backwards into pp, Of
heltroop. AMI smashed her combs aud
hair pins all to flinders,
hoped over her. and ONra she fol
lowe /, aud the waltz continued. | got
So dizzy at last that [ cpulin't tell who
was. and thought I'd 60 cross the room
and ask an old lady that | seed sitting
there. | let 90 of Dora and started off,
and when | got the Lady | went right
straight thrnu IN her. and come to tini
out she was only her own election in
the big 10 king glass.
| Whirle of on another track, and
catching my foot into somebody's spin
ming crlnnerline, | pitched head first in
to the lao of wlmln with speeks, who
was reading Watts on the Mind.
STOOD heave ls" cried she--"How
shall tree myself from this insatiate
friend-?'
u Take my E Plurious Unum Bit,
ters-" said |.
"Do you add 10 insult to injury p
said she growing strong.
IL thought you was billyus !" said l.
"such yeller skin is sure sign, though
it may be natural for a person Of your
age to be yeler--old folks are apt to"
| didu't get any further before she
gave me sounding clap on the side of
the head with her bnnk ami good era
cious the room swarmed with tig uohos
stars
saw table handy, AMI mule a
sprinL far it, hoping to yet out ot the
way Of that dreadful fem tie. Yes,
made the spring, and know its dread
fuI unpolite to write it, but the truth
must be told burst my susprnders,
,therwlse known as gallowses-anh
.rabbing the top Of my nnwhispcrables
II both hands skedaldled
| haint danced sence. 1t don't agree
With my constitution. But my bitters
ire still unapnruachable.
The medicine for the million. Only
va dollars a bottle! Warranted pure
nd the fac,simly likeness and ortygratI
If Samuel Smooth thrown IN.
FRUIT TREEs.-DIg around and re
nnva the vrass from the rnnts of fruit