Evansville daily journal. (Evansville, Ind.) 1863-1866, 1865-08-14

all men;
a To lsssenths waisteoats of oorpalsnt gsntlsmsn
Tickling, t'rssoms, teasing flies, at
If they need blessings there's plsnty q nins
for 'em; -AA A. f@s
Tiagstisg round our nose snd eyes, sA
Deuce biz ean'~e writs = line for 'emi
= LOST HEE " DIsnEsr."-The Albany
7 Ereniag Journal says that the shoddy
aristocracy at Saratoga have great diff
Guilty in wearing their unusual advances
fnents, One unfortunate Ounce of ole
aginous Development actually went
through the myrtyrdom of dressing IF
teen sabgfors supper on Tuesday.
Al Young damseI at the table in one of
the big hotels astonished the crowd By
exclaimipg, " Lor', mar, I've dropped
'my dia1nIsnt lnto. the gravyi A yigor-
GUS search for the lost jewel-a stom'
Achsr5 pifl-=wss made in the kitchen re-
iuseqbut qnsnccessfullysqf solos
It is only worth 81 200, and papa
comes within Toodiess definition Of O
gentlaman: he don't care q darn.
The UNIQUE SALUrAToRY.-Mr Henry
Clapp, ira has revived the Saturday
Press, one of the spiciest Of the New
York weeklies Before the war, and which
Eas discontinued in December, $780,
The frst hdmber Of the new series con-
tains the following amusing and pointed
salGtatory:
i s The SisuatieB--D Dialogue between the
Editor and 40 Old Subscriber:
o. s. IT hear we are going to have
the Saturday Press again; is it sol"
Ed. $50 it sesms."
8. oWhat did you ever stop it
for ~ tg0E .e1g
Ed. "For want of money"
@. s. "Why do you revive it, then 2"
Ed. - For the same reason"
sas0xSy "All rightI Let g celebrate the
EVENT. what illiyou take7"
ilaEd. sYour subscription, If you please"
A countryman upon his FIRST visit to
Boston, tells how 20 play billiards:
The balls. are punched with long
wooden ramrods, with wax on the little
end toisase the wood and leather from
wearing out. You take your ramrod
aud chalk 81, then you lean over the ia
ble; then you squirt; then you lift your
left leg; then you fiddle little on your
left hand With your ramrod; then you
pnpch your ball. lfyour ball hits the 9TH
eF man bali you have done q big thing,
I'D you poke o lot of buttons that are
strnng on wire. Thisis all there is to
q game of billiards. "
HAD Hnf THEIRS "A friend of ours
who is clerk in New York mercan-
tile establishment, relates colloquy
from which sprightly youth in the store
came out second best. A poor boy
came along with his machine, inqnir-
aAnyknives or scissors to grindY"
"Don't think, we have" replied the
young gentlemen, facetiously; "but can't
you sharpen witsY'
ayes, II you've got any" was the
prompt retort, leaving his interrogation
rather at loss to produce the article.
The Duke of Wellington once lost his
temper with the pragmasical imbecility
Of one Of his colleagues In certain
Bsitish I'D illustration, so far as to say
of that VI xatious Fperaonage, she is in
tolerahle because be is educated beyond
Tho calibfe of his brains to bear" The
Dake's description fits large class of
people whom il il the tendency of mod.
ern life to thrust into an unnatural
prominence; class so large as to have
wrung from Carlyle the sardonic deela-
ration that sail Christendom is in con-
spiraey for the promotion Of fools"
"A gentleman talking to another on
the subject Of marrisgs, made the fol-
lowing observation: az 6rst saw my wife
in q storm; carried her to ball in the
storm; courted her in storm; was pub
lished to her in a storm; married her in
storm; lived in q storm all her life;
hpt, thank heaven, i buried her in pleas.
ant weather"
your band annoys me exceedingly"
| sid nobleman to talkative person
| who was sitting near him st dinner, and
who was constantly suiting the action to
the word. Indeed, my lord" replied
| the gabbler, 1--WE are so crowded at the
table that do not know where to put my
hand" "Put it in. Jour mouth, " said
the nohlemsn. Hsw . -
"Don't you ever 60 to evening par
ties ~ mo" said my friend Tom; 81
used to, bat am cured" 'fHow So =
said /, anxious to learn bis experience.
"Why, you see, said Tom, feelingly, 81
vent to one some few years back, and
fell il love With q beautiful girl ]
eoRrtAd her like tramp, and I thought
had her sure, when she eloped with g
tailor. But swore vengeance, and ]
took it. / patronized the robber of my
happiness, and ordered new suit OF
clothes, regardless of expense" Had
yoafIvengeanee2' said ]. II struck thai
fellow in his moss vital part; never
paid that bill. But those internal clothe,
| we're the cause Of all my future misfor
ttuness that they we're" "How so2" saic
/, with smile of compassion. "Wear
! ing them, I aptiVAted my present wife
She told me so; and havn't had hap
py day since. But / am bound to be
squafs wish the wretched tailor in the
lqng run. I've left him leRscy, on con
| aition that he marries my widoE."
q. What 10 lead7 A. An animal pro-
duction.
Q. why2 a. Because it is found il
* "a How do youstr, the temper Of iron
a. b. making itstsel
/ Y. What Is cast steel. a. A kind o.
saop.
"You said" said the judge, s'ths par,
son who married you to the FIRST wife
\ arthoFized you 70 have sixteen? Whal
do yea mean By thatT' "Well," said
Hans, che told me dat I should have
Efcurpstter,four yerser, four richer
/ four poorer-and in our county four
/ dime four makes sixteen
"a childs faith in his mother ia well
I Illustrated by the following incident;
4 a listle boy disputing with bis sister on