The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1865-05-20

There was another reason for this at the sa m
| time-my late husband, the friend and par
:. ner of my sisters husband, was at that tim
! beginning to pay his addresses, to me-; en-
the tepder troubles Of my own case made in
careless to others. Summer came roun
again, and one day as Iwas half Wishing 70
my country home again, a letter arrived fror
: Stephen. Marion's complaint was at a crisi:
and n great change would take place, on
way or the other, in few days. l was to g
home, put the place in order, and be ready +
to receive them. l did not know till after
!, wards that Marion had begged to be allowe,
to die at home, if the change were for tn
worse; if it had been for the better, ther'
would have been no reason for her STAYING
abroad.
4 Well, / went home, arranged everything
and waited for them. Three weeks passed
1.-THE usual intervaD and no letter. month
and supposed they were travelling slowly to
avoid fatigue One day, FIVE weeks after
had received the last letter, l was sitting
| alone, rather late in the evening, when a quick
step sounded in the road outside, and Stephen
came to the gate, opened it, entered the house
and sat down in silence He was dressed as
usual, and looked tired and travelsta;ned
I but there was no sorrow in his face, and
felt sure that Marion must be safe. l asked
him where she w;is.. He said she was not
with him.
Have you left her in Italy ?'' asked.
"She il dead" he answered. without a
| shadow of emotion.
=" How? Where?" 1 was beginning to
| question him, but he stopped me.
"Give me something to eat and drink, y he
| said /; Il have walked from London and want
to sleep" s--.
brought him what he wanted. He bade
ME good night and as l saw lie wished it, l
left HIM and went to bed, full of grief, but
even more of wondor that he, who truly loved
his wife if ever man did, could speak of her,
not a month after her death, without his voice
faltering or his face changing in the. least
!" Tomorrow will solve the question:, | said
to myself, as, weary with crying, felt sleep
coming over me. But tomorrow did not
solve the question. He told me as before,
without emotion, what he wished me to know,
and from that moment we spoke no more on
the subject. In every respect but this he was
nv or1 Stephen OF old-as kind and thought
fui as ever oni, altered by rather absent
and abstrac:el manner. 1 thought at first
that he was stunned BY his loss, and would
realize it mere painfully afterwards; but
months passed on without a change. He
used Marioil's chair, or things of her work,
or sat opposite to her drawings without seem
ing to notice them indeed, 1t was as II she
dropped out of his life entire y, and left him
as he was before he knew her. The only
difference was that he, naturally man of
sedentary habits, took great deal OF exercise,
and | knew that he kept laudanum in his
bedroom.
At TIN; time nv lover was pressing me 20
marry him, and with much difiicvtr con
Ill S,a,,L., I'D, fhnu,,h . had
no intention of leaving him. 10 my surprise
he seemed pleased. | told him that | would
never leave him alone, not for all the Lus-
bands i'll the world bit he would net hear
me.
:" | think il is your duty to marry him,
Margaret" he said you love him and have
taught him TO love you, and YOU have no
right to sacrifice him to me-"
NY first duty is 10 you: Stephen. will
not leave you alone
Il see tl.at | must explain te yea" be
said, after "a pause. When Yea leave me,
shall not be alone
..Who will be with you?' 1 asked; WOE
dering.
Marion
/ started as if had been shot, fri thought
he must surely be mad but he continued
quite calmly and as usual, without emotion:
she GlcU At LII iot
know what did. | felt stunned and broken
and dying myself: but at last, worn out as
was with watching and sitting up, fell asleep /;
and by Ced's mercy she came to me i'll my
dreams, and tod ae TO be eomtorted. The
next night she came again. and from that
time to this has never failed me. Then felt
that it was my duty TO liyes that if ny life
was valucless TO myself. 1t was not SO 10 Won.
So came home. 1 dare say it Is only freak
OF INV ina cination. Perhaps even produce
an Illusion of an effort of NY will but how
ever this is, it has saved me from gong mad
or killing myself How does she come Al
WAYS as she vas in that first summer that we
spent here, o: in our early time in Italy al
ways cheerful and beautiful, always alone, al
wavs dressed a. she used To dress, talking
she used to talk-not angel, but herself
Sometimes we go through whole day of
pleasure, sometimes she only cotnes and goes: !:
but no night has ever yet been without her ;
and indeed tn nix that her visits are longer
and dearsr As I,draw nearer toher side again.
/ sometiriesas ask myself now, andcannot arr
swer, | should Il ink that the other was, if
it were not that while am in this recolect
the other. and while / am in the other know
nothing beyond. And this is why my sorrow
is not like others in my position. l know
that no night will pass without my seeing
her; for nv health is good enough, and |
| never fail to sleep. Sleeplessness is the only
earthly evil / dread now you are provided for.
Do you think me bad in not having told you
this bsfore =? 1t is too sacred a thing to be
spoken of without necessity. Now write to
your husband that is to be, and tell him to
| come here" -,...--, x.sas
did so, and the 'prepara tions for my mar
riage began. Stephen was very kind but
his thoughts wandered further and further
day by day. Ispoke to a doctor. friend of
his, about him, but it seemed that nothing
really allied him. longed, almost to pain,
| to ask him more about Marion but he never
gave, me an opportunity. If approached
the subject he turned the talk in another d.
rection, and my old habits of submission to
him prevented me from going on Thea
came my wedIing-day. Stephen gave me
away, and sat by my side at the breakfast
He seemed to hang oveE,me more tenderly
than ever, as he put me tSHec the carriage and
| took leave of me-
| carriage window was to till him to be sure to
be my first visitor in my own home.
! "No, Margaret" he said, with a sad smile,
I" say goodbye to me now; my work is done .
| Scarcely understanding what he SAID, l
bade him goodbye; and it was not until my
! husband asked me what it meant that re-
membered his strange look and accent. l
then felt half frightened about him ssobut the
novelty of my first visit abroad made me for
get my fears. r1.a
The rest is soon told The first letter I re-
ceiEed from England said that on tie very
morning after my marriage he had been found
dead and cold in his bed. He had died with
out pam, the doctor said, with his right hand
clasping his lsft arm above his wrist, and
holding firmly, even in death, a circlet of
! Marion's hair. 'fS 'i& -