The Portland daily press., 1865-03-31
Friday Morning, March 81, 1866.
The Mad Englishman.

The Mad Englishman.
In the year 1877, two Englshmen arrived
in Ostend; and from their movements, ap-
peared to De two singular originals. One
was short, stout and red-haired; the other
was tall and thin. The short one was named
Richard Mowbray, and his tall companion
was William Featherington. Both were IN
the prime OF life, between forty-nve and III
ty-hve. From head to foot both were gentle
men, and their passports were In lne Dest or
der and regularity. Upon stepping ashore,
they were conducted, at their desire to the
Scheldt Inn, on Gadule steret. The host was
by name Rysvoort, and his inn had by no
means the best reputation in Ostend. The
inn-keeper was OF course enchanted by the ar
rival OF such unlocked for guests. They oc-
cupied the best apartments in the house, and
ordered the choicest fare. The cook busted
herself in setting before them most misera-
bic dinner, and our host did the same by two
bottles OF execrable wine. The islanders ate
and drank with the most perfect satisfaction.
But the reckoningP Upon this point the
host was quite at ease. The next morning
the enormous charges were paid with the ut
most indifference. Thus far all was excel
lent; but Van Rysvoort unused to such birds
OF Paradise, feared every momsnt that they
might depart, and continue their journey to
Brussels. He very sagely concluded that the
Englishmen did not cross the sea to see Ostend
merely, and to pay dearly for this bad cheer.
The pair, however, showed no signs of d.
parture; diligence offered them every op-
portuniny. The Englshmen remained quiet
ly; all intercourse with townspeople they
avoided-the sights they tronbled themselves
not at all about. Every day they walked into
the country, and ate and drank, smoked
slept, and read the papers, and lived as quiet
lv and "a naaoaf1llU ANNALS No Ia+fore
came to them--they sent none OF; the world
was dead TO them, and they were dead to the
world.
Every third morning they regularly paid
their bill; took nothing off, although the land
lord daily charged threefold price for every
hing. Van RysVoort spoke usually but little
too, and he troubled himself about his guests
still less, since they paid SO well; but these
seli-same Englishmen took up ali his atten-
ton. He puzzled his brain over and over
again, and at last took his wife into his coun-
sells; but as they could not even conformity
solve the mystery, they consulted with friends
and neighbors upon what these Englishmen
could possibly be doing at Ostend.
"They are spies," said one; "birds of flight,
who are escaping punishment" said others.
At last the town clerk, who had been some
years in England, settled the matter.
"Do not trouble your heads; Pl tell you
what these two Englishmen are-they are
nothing more nor less than mad Englishmen.
Do you know what that means? Listen, and
I'll tell you. l knew man in London who,
in his old age, took to a leading such beg
carly lie, that for fifteen years he lived as the
most wretched of paupers. From his fellow
beggars he received every kind of annoyance
his mode of life brought on him cudgelings
and imprisonments; but he still persisted. At
last, one morning, ,ghe3was found dead. And
listen, he left wiil-valid and drawn up by 8
notsry-by which he disposed OF more than
950,000 to village he had never seen nor
known. Confess that he was mad English
man. Such are those now lodged in the
Scheldt."
SO spoke this clever man.
But Van Rysvoot answered: "Mad or not,
they are good customers; and if l only Ter
five years could keep such guests, should be-
come made man.
A week after this conversation, and three
after arrival, the Englishmen called their
host, and thus addressed him: "Her Van
Rysvoort, your hotel pleases us very much,
and ii our propos, ton pleases you, we may
continne our acquaintance with each other.o
My lords,' answered the delighted host,
with low obeisance, II am quite at your s.
posal; say your wishes and they shall become
mine; tor | know what owe to such distin-
guished guests"
''My good friend" said the little fat man,
your hotel is by no means as large as 1t ought
to be; you know you have but three apal t.
ments in which gente can be accommo
dated, and this looks upon the street. The
rattle of carts and carriages make noise with
out end We love quiet. We are here every
instant disturbed. In short the noise is un-
bearable."
Il am very sorry to hear it, my lord. What
can / do? You are quite right. 1t is true
the traffic is without end, but cannot shut Up
the street. o,
Certainly not; but the thing is not SO diff
cult, after ALL"
"What does my lord mean? ?"
"The cost cannot be important, and we will
Willingly bear hail." ae ae
spray continue, my lord" cried out the
landlord, with frankness and warmth most
unusual to him.
"You have, behind your house, a small gar
den, in which nothing grows; the old wall is
also in ruins. Could you not build small
house, with three comfortable rooms, and
there we shall find quiet lodging? II you
freely give in to our plans as we have said, we
will pay you one half. When we leave, the
house will belong to you, but should not this
please you, we must 60, although we would
willingly remain"
Van Rysvoot seized eagerly upon the pro-
pOSdl, LIS OWu III CVOA Wow
he kept his customers and enlarged his house
at their expense.
The same evening the honest Van Rysvoort
consulted with builder, who at one and tthe
same time, was his gossip and godfather. The
builder set briskly to work next morning, for
the Englishmen would admit of no delay; and
as they marked out the ground, all was
quickly in progress. 1886.
From morning to night Mr.. Richard Now
bray and Mr.. William FeathsriDgLon never
left the workmen. Van Rysvoort took great
interest in what was going on, but said moth
ing. Ii is true he was not quite contented
that the haste with which the Englishmen
hurried on the building, gave no guarantee of
its durability. He would have been better
pleased, perhaps, had the building not been
raised quite so much in the corner by the old
wall, and had it been carried up another sto-
ry or so higher; but his guests were inexora-
bic, and would only allow OF one floor. In
fourteen days the garden house was compIet-
ed, as if by magic. The Englishmen were so
delighted that they took immediate possess
sion.
Van Rysvoort and his wife were now con-
vinced that none but mad Englishmen would
leave dry house for a new aud wet one
However, that was the business OF his guests
and being to all appearance freak, they re-
solved it should be paid for. The entire
building, according to the accounts Of the ar
tilcers employed upon it, cost 2,371 forms
for his own benefit. Monstrous as was the
bill presented to them, the Englshmen paid
1t, the avaricious host consoling his conscience
with the reflection that 1t was all little enough
for accommodating such crazy lunatics with
his premises.
This matter being settled, the Englishmer
being installed in their garden house, seldom
made their appearance out of it. They ate
drank, smoked and read the papers as usual
but the most curious part OF our story is that
they allowed no one to enter, and even made
their beds themselves
All this time their accommodation was moi
of the best order. Perhaps the Frau Van
Rysvoort wished to try with how little they
could be pleased. Nothing could be worse
than their eating aud wine; for honest Frau
Van Kysvoort's reasoning was, that before
mad Englishmen should drink of a good vim