davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly Panola star. [volume] (Panola, Miss.) 1857-1881, 1865-10-20

A correspondent entered an Office,
and accused a compositor Of not hav-
ing punCt,ated his communication,
when the typo earnestly replied,
I'm not a pointer, I'm setter
The weekly Panola star. [volume] (Panola, Miss.) 1857-1881, 1865-10-20
RI salatIv I)laoIl stat
- RATES

fladsefiisems msnls must be fnid in ad-
e<T Al sl ~ pef sagate u zen llae'
~ 1 ffa Insertion, and ~ cents iof
o1@< o1bssqasni Insertion al,
- I|ges N ordinary isanuscfipt VIII
80 avuafe
All olher adeertiainr and Job work must
he pstd ihsafiably in advance,
NsffIare and obituary notices oi no.
more f1an ss lines, Published Tree "
over a Iine., they must be paid Tor ~ iht
The weekly Panola star. [volume] (Panola, Miss.) 1857-1881, 1865-10-20

A letter from Nashville to the st.
Louis Republican, says that ii. s.
FoOte is stumping the streets Of
Nashville; although he declares his
intention to confne himself hereafter
to the practice Of the law.
The same letter says that John
Bell is not often seen in public, and
that his health is very much impair.
ed. Ex-Gov. Neil s. Brown is prac.
ticing law in Nashville.
The weekly Panola star. [volume] (Panola, Miss.) 1857-1881, 1865-10-20

RIcH HERBs.-"Time is money"
is a sage saying. Thyme may be
money, but the mint produces it.
Shakspere tells us Of "a bank whereon
the wild thyme grows" A sweet
time a man would have in trying to
get money out of that bank Bah
lime is very good thing to be al
lowed when a bill falls due; but,
after all, We would rather have a
mint Of money, and We should then
be sure Of having a good time.
The weekly Panola star. [volume] (Panola, Miss.) 1857-1881, 1865-10-20

.-.<z 90 Juzuce Of tae peace who
shsll have presided upon any nch
The weekly Panola star. [volume] (Panola, Miss.) 1857-1881, 1865-10-20

- pcaurcgard is in New Orleans
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1865-02-22

EDITORS. Some i'll naturcd editor in
New York is evidently out Of patience with
visitors. Now we have hundred visitors
a week-many Of them ladies' too-and
yet they give US no annoyance. The Ia
dies Of Mc('regor are good takers, but
they know when it is their "put in" and
hence when they see us busy they read
exchanges till we have leisure for chat, or
if We are too long engaged on copy, they
bid Us "adieu for the present" and 80 down
our ricketty old stairway in bewitchingly
fascinating manner. But hear this e~-''z-
ing knight of thn --:asors
''Our table is broad one Come in and
see US. We can write while one man is
singing, another whistlng, and another
dancing and shouting glory hallelujah.--7
Pay US a visit We require elbow room
on the table-can't "go it" if elbow is
little cramped. When you come, lie on
the table, particularly if you have the fever
and ague. We are never busy-have plen-
ty Of time to talk small talk and say orig
inal things about the weather. Drop in
When we are blessed with your accepta-
BILE presence, turn over the exchanges and
s,nt tho nidact nnnS Of the top Of the pile
Borrow the shears and put the paste BRUSH
in the ink bottle. Tell the last joke and
sing the newest version of John Brown.
Swear Ike a rebel and find out the latest
news by telegraph. And so on-you know
the rest. By all means come and see u.s.
Remember that it is the height of polite
ness to be just as disagreeahle as possible
and drop in"
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1865-02-22

MlscnlEr.-College boys are provervially
mischievous and probably as class they
always will be. Like members of Legis.
lative bodies they learn all each others
humorous "drives" and by q mass associ.
alton they get out a large share Of the wild
qualities of each. At home many of them
are quiet and passably unassuming, but
when corallsd in an Institure or cooped up
three or four months in state capitol both
boys and men will hunt for some exciting
fun and until human nature changes, there
will be no remedy for it.
We are in receipt Of pamphlet giving
the situation Of an Eastern School of some
prominence. The sender Of it is young
gentleman formerly resident here. In or.
der to give US his opinions Of the Faculty
and the managers, he attaches opposite to
the name of each, as published, remark.
For instance opposite the name Of one
he writes Gentleman" Of another "Bung-
ed Eye" Of another, "Bashful looking;"
another, "Sap head" another, "Fierce look
when mad" another, "Sups and lamp
cleaner another, "Or any other man."
another, Handsome" another, "One Of
the men" and to another who had the pub.
lished title "Ph. D., L. L. d." our young
friend attaches %. S. NJ. G. R." to signi-
fy that man so loaded with titles might
as we'll use up the balance Of the Alpha
Iet. w. ~e-.. With him.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1865-02-22

For the benefit of those who are epitheti.
cally inclined, We clip from an exchange
the following string Of pearls:
"Barebones, assinine, infamous, notorious
criminal, whisky soaked, foul wretch.
hump-backed, blear-eyed, short haired,
bull headed, liar, thief swindler. bypocrite,
brute, beast, reptile, ass, black hearted,
professional villain, idiot, rat, dog, hyena,
wolf in sleeps clothing, degraded mis-,
creant, &c, &C."
By careful study Of the above, with the
addition of an occasional adjective to give
the other words more pim, one who has a
taste for it can acquire an envable reputa,
ton as writer. We suggest that the list
be cut out for some future occasion its
convenience will save time in looking over
Webster.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1865-02-22
WAR AND SATIRE.

Hamlets soliloquy was great thing in its day, bu
for the present day the following rebel parody is
appropriate 1t is not violent presumption to con
clude that there many the loyal side of Mason
and Dixon's line who influenced by the same feel
ngs this rebel poet:
To go. or not to go; that is the question;
Whether it pays best to suffer Fostering
BY idle girls and garruous old women,
Or to take up arms against host of Yankees,
And by opposing get killed To die to sleep!
lGit eout and in this sleep to say we "sink
10 rest by all our country's wishes best,"
And live iorever-(that's a consummation
just what I'm after) To march, to fight
10 fight! perchance to die; aye there's the rub,
For while I'm asleep who'd take care of Mary
And the babies-when Bill is in the lower ground,
Who'd feed 'em, heyl There's the respect
have for them what makes life sweet;
For who would bear the bag to mill,
Plow Dobbin cut the wheat dig taters,
Kill hogs, and do all sorts of drudgery
If am fool enough to get Yankee
Bullet on the brain? Who'd cry for mei
Would patriotism pay my debts when deadl 8.
But oh! the dread OF something after death;
That undiscovered fellow who'd court Mary,
And do my huggin'-thats agony,
And makes me want to stay at home,
'Sptciallay as amt mad With nobody.
Shell and bullets make towards of us ALL
And blame my skin if snortn steeds,
And pomp and circumstance of glorious war;
Are to be compared with feather bed,
And Mary by my side Not much.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1865-02-22

The North Iowa Times contends truth
fully that there is neither wit nor judgment
in premeditated bad spelling. Arte,
mus Ward and Petroleum v. Nasby have
said many good things which would have
been decidedly more funny and pointed if
barbarous orthography had been eschewed.
It's mistake to suppose that wit consists
in distorting the language.
Thank you Mr.. DesMoines Register for
coinciding with us. II there is anything
in the world tina. is nauseous to US it is to
witness the effort Of silly one to pass his
nonsense for wit by distorting the spelling.
The "Disbanded Volunteer" of the N. Y.
Sunday Mercury is an exception; every
word Of his is a pun aad usually so sharp
one too as to be seen without the italic
call. attention sign which bcnglers use to
tell US where the laugh comes in. Josh
Billings is pretty good, but the Lord save
us from p. B. Nasty, Artemus Ward and
others Of the same stamp. .-
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1865-02-22

ExcHANGEs.-We have lately added to
our exchange list two very valuable jour.
nails, representing nearly opposite sides Of
the American continent - the Sacramento
Union, and the Toronto Globe Either of
them is as large as table cloth, and filled
to the edge with most interesting matter
pertaining to the very interesting sections
which they represent. How a Canadian
here can do without the Globe, we do not
know. How returned Californian can
dispense with the ample columns Of the Un
ion, is equally strange.
Hereafter we shall draw on these ex
changes for Pacific and Canadian inform
alton. In the mean time Messrs. Editors,
we thank you for the courtesy of an " X. "
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1865-02-22

FROM THE SoUTH- Jim" Mckinney
writes us from Lookout Mountain, Tennes.
see. He is there at work for Uncle Sam
on a six months contract; his time will be
out in March. "This Mountain is the most
beautiful place l ever saw. 1t is about 5
miles from Chattanooga and is 22o0 feet
above the level of tho Tennessee river
which runs at it's base. There are four
saw-mills here and quite town. They
are building largely at this point in the
Hospital business. have been at work
on them ever since l came here We have
completed eight. The sick and wounded
will move in this week. It is the pleasant.
est place for hospitals that there is in the
whole south. Almost everything is going
on here except wheat buying.
"Clauson, Gleason and lots Of McGregor
boys who enlisted with Henry Durand are
here. Henry is at home.
"Please write and send the TINES occa.
sionally. j. NICK"
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1865-02-22

DONATIONS Mr. Stone had the
benefit Of donation visit in Farmersburgh
last week resulting in the receipt Of money
and necessaries to the amount Of S35. We
are in receipt, from Rev. j. r. Upton OF
Monona, of the following note, requesting
its publication.
"In Farmersburgh, January Goth. at the
house of Asa P. Hall, donation visit was
given for the benefit of the undersigned
and his family, resulting in the receipt Of
CASH S2s,oo, Grain $12. Also at Monona
February 9Th, at the Western Hotel: CASH
received, $lOs; Grain, Groceries &C., &C.,
$24.50.
"Friends, we thank you most heartily
and trust your kindness will encourage us
to greater fathfulaess, and may our Heav.
emily Father reward you and guide you il!
all righteousness.
j. r. UPToN."
MONONA, FEB. 10, 1866.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1865-02-22

Fitz Greene HaIleck the celebrated poet ID
slive and healthy at 70. ". B. Astor
gives him life annuity Of $1,000. IA
butler complained to Baron Clifford, Of The
tongue Of the baron's wife. You NAV
thank God you are not married to her."
was the consoling reply. dyer in
Vienna found young gallant too tender
with his wife; he called help and put him
i" blue dye, coloring him completely /. . :.
Dumas, the French novelist il about to
marry. 49,. Judge Emo, the It. Gov. Of Cal.
ifornia in SO, is now in Sacramento Hos.
pital, pauper.
The Senate Committee report Is per- ct.
duty on foreign paper in lieu of the House
bill Of per. ct. ."Why not drive down
stake and work to it" said friend to an
inebriate. II have done so, but I get
drunk before get TO it,. 1t is said
woman's sense Of dependence renders her
more liable to religious influences than
man. This may be true, and If so, what
blessing that they feel their dependence.
No ornament Of females is so admirable AZ
spirit of Devotion. An editor went to
war and was elected Orderly. His frst
command was Front face Two dollars q
year in advance IA. G.. Donelson, q
ate bitter secessionis., has returned to
and taken the oath of allegiance.
In this he does credit to his namesake, and
foster father Gen. Jackson. "A back
woods chap says he ''likes waltzin cause
here's SO much huggin in i,.". . Boston
) ssaGsfaaheftdc ii f c.e hodaFeSo ys'asB5 yss asBv5d
III over Paris with the ease Of a.bird. -.
drs swisshelm, now Of Washington ar
,ues that women make better department
'erks than men. We believe Mr.. Seward
PRACTICES on this idea. :. Patrick got home
ate. Said his wife: "It's long road
'ou've come honey" mot so long, Nora
lear, but the 6roadsst road intirely "....
;hicago is to have daily paper With a cap
tai Of S500,O0o. Hearts are called little
ed things which men and women play
'ith. Nv Women require more sleep than
aen. Editors as class do not sleep st
II: they worry off an hour or 50 in dreams
f delinquent subscribers &c. %. The
consumption Of whiskey has decreased in
reland within ten years from s millions to
millions.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1865-02-22


When from my room chance to stray,
to spend an hour at close of day, l ever
find the place most dear, where some friend
treats to lager beer.-Sacramento Age.
All! yes, my friend, of city life, sure such
treat cures such strife, but better than
such dose by far, are the pleasures Of .
fine cigar Placer Herald.
Such pleasures may suit baser minds,
but with the good no favor finds; We think
the purest Joy Of life, is making love to ones
own wife, Volcano Ledger
Most wise your choice, my worthy friend,
in Hymen's joys your cares to end, but we.
though tired Of single life. can't boast Of
having our own wife; and so, when meath
our cares We faint, We fly to kiss some ga.
that ain't-yet.-Napa Reporter.
That lager beer will bile provoke, while
fine Havanas' end in smoke. To court
ones wife is better far than lager beer or
vile cigar. Kisses, the dew OF loves young
morn, break on the lips as soon as born.
These all are naught to that great joy--the
first glance at your first born boy ?--Ecen.
ing Ledger.
IT'S true, a boys wished for blessing,
but then suppose the first girl! A dear
sweet child with ways carressing, with
pouting lips and faxen curl, with dimple
checks and laughing eye, to come aid bid
papa good bye! So whether boy or
whether t'other, embrace the babe and then
the mo.her.-Sanfraneisco Globe.
Courting and kissing and babies and beer.
for some, like yourselves, may be very good
cheer; but for US, who are now growing
selfshly old, We prefer that our pockets
should be we'll filled with gold Sandy
Hill Herald.
Beer and cigars are good in their place,
counting your wives or sweethearts may be.
the very apex Of .tslicits; tossing his boy
or kissing his girl, will cure the blues on
the variest churl; pockets Of gold are the
symbol of wealth, but these are all nothing
when lacking good health. Which may be
secured by keeping your feet dry and warm
in pair of those elegant boots at WhcelSr's
N. Y. Boot 4 Shoe Store, where you will
fnd large stock at reduced prices.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1865-02-22

OlLY.--All creation is turning into oil.
1t is settled now that the centre of the earth
is all petroleum and hence it will burn
readily when the day Of destruction comes
Among the extravagant things relating to
the oleagenous question, the following is
good. We clip it from pamphlet giving
the prospects of new company establish
ed on the basis Of extensive discoveries in
California
"The large wells are some five miles from
these springs, and cover large area ef
ground around the mouths of the wells
are seen the carcasses Of many cattle that,
becoming mired in the oil, had perished,
and in one, q grizzly bear, unable to extri
cate itself, had starved to death | men,
ton the above simply to give you an idea
of the flow Of these natural wells; the fact
OF these oil developments are so much
greater than any thing known in this coun-
try, that it seems almost fabulous when
compared to the indications seen in the
Atlantic States"
We are really sorry for the bear that
was thus preserved in oil. Probably Bruin
ate the meat from the bones Of the cattle
and liked it so we'll he concluded "to in.
vest" and have his fill. His fate may ''point
moral if it did not adorn his tail! Let
US think: why may not this paragraph
have been intended by the waggsh author
of the pamphlet, to typify the fate of the
"bull" (cattle) and "bears' who venture
too close to the oil springs? 1t is said oil
stocks are mighty slick thing to handle.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1865-02-22

A COOP AKswER.--At banquet, when
solving enigmas was diversion, Alexander
said to his courtiers:
"What is that which did not come last
year, has not come this year, and will not
come next year2"
A distressed officer, starting up, said:
ut most certainly must be our arrears
OF pay"
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1865-02-22

WHEN Gov Sermour retired from office
on the first Of January, many Republican
papers thanked God that the State was re-
leved from his influence, and that he was
to be succeeded by "loyar Governor
Henceforth the State was to occupy no
"equivoca! position" What significance
there was in these general phrases, it was
difficult for sensible people to understand:
1t is now less than month, says the atlas
and Argus, since he left the Executive
Chambers, and already the people Of the
state have felt the loss of his energy and
power to protect them from wrong. Instead
Of an equitable adjustment of quotas, such
as he had secured heretofore, the grossest
inequalities are forced upon the State by the
Washington authorities, and fourteen
thousand men are added to the enormous
burden already imposed! For this much
these abusive enthusiasts may already be
thankful. We doubt not there will be
other occasions for the exercise Of their
gratitude. Utica O6seruer.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1865-02-22
gorth gowa Times.
McGREGOR. FEB %, ::::: 1866.

The British american of Chicago, has
resumed publication, after suspension OF
few weeks. We are glad to see il on
sound basis. Mr.. Charles Bull is sole pro.
prletor; as editor he is assisted by some Of
the readiest pens Of Chicago. We do not
see how an Englishman in America or
lover of the sporting life Of the west can
dispense with the American. Success to
yUu, Cnarley.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1865-02-22

The following was handed US by some.
thing Of wag. He says he picked it up
on the street. At all events it will do to
publish as an illustration of the style of
language we should have if the school
master were all the time abroad" We
publish the Adv. gratis and if he who
handed it to US reqaests penalty We will
furnish glass of that peculiar article on
which the senior editor of the TINES is
supposed to live.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1865-02-22

The Bank Of Crawford County. Mead
VILE Penn, was robbed Of ore hundred
and fifty thousand dollars in United States
bonds last week. The robbers had pre-
viously concealed themselves in back
room Of the bank. A reward Of five thoIs.
and dollars has been offered.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1865-02-22

Miss Decof of Newcastle, N. H., was
making her bridal dress. She upset a
lamp, set her clothes on fire, and was
burned so that death cnsued.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1865-02-22
REWARD.

Lost or Strade from the Premeses of the
subscriber sheepe all over Whit .ne leg
was blakk and halve his boldly Oh pur.
sons shall reserve five dolls to bring him
bak He was she gote."
No signature.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1865-02-22

ANOTHER step in the march Of events
A colored clergyman Sunday last preached
in the hall Of the national house Of repre-.
Ssntati.es
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1865-02-22

of them being absent. We expect large
force here to night from below and am
in hopes they will find Indians this trip.
They are lowering about US yet; their
camp fires being plainly seen tonight up
the road.
A large emigration is expected ,ia this
point the ensuing summer.
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1865-02-22
McGREGOR, IOWA, WEDNESDAY, FEB, g. 1866

From Juiesburg.
We have the qualification Of announcing
that the brave little garrison at Julesburg
(on the plains) was not destroyed in the
last-reported raid If the "red devils" on
that post. Our information is contained
in letter from Milo Lacy to "Bro. DAM"
Here is An extract:
February Sd, 1865.
Expedition returned and nothing accom-.
plished not "see an Indian ~ The
latter have been engaged the past ten days
in plundering and burning ranches, hay &C.,
up the road. All the stock from 25 miles
below, up to Denver, or Junction, has
been driven off by them. Yesterday about
500 hundred Of them made their appear.
ance upon the hills near us, plundered and
burned the stage Station and Telegraph
office one mile east; but our force was too
The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1865-02-22

Main Street, McGregor Iowa This house is centrally
located well fitted up with good barns and all the con-
vensnces and the proprietor will spare no
pains make it always pleasant home for the travel
Ing public. ALEX. MCKENZIE, Proprietor,
422 Successor to Rowland & Jones'
Daily State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1861-1865, 1865-05-20

We then gathered our little band Of men
around each grave consecutively. and reverent-
ly and sadly performed our funeral rites. and
hnfied the collected remains Of our noble
braves
At each Of the others the funeral service
was performed Immediately after We bad com
ple,ed the work Of gathering and depositing the
bodies.
The number Of common graves We made il !
Number Of bodies buried in them. ....... 3ls
Number Of bodies buried separaieIy....-. 81
Total number Of bodies of union soldiers 379
Beside, We buried such bodies Of confederate
soldiers "a We found in any degree exposed.
These amounted 20 about twenty-making the
whole number Of cur burials about four hun
bred. In addition to these numerous graves were
repaired.
- more detailed account Of our work can be
furnished il desired.
The Abeve summary Of our expedition Is re-
spectfully submitted by
WH H. GILBERT,
Army Agent OF the Amer. Bible Soc,
and Del. U. s. c. 9.
EFF WILLIAMS.
Field Agent. U. S. G, &.
Richmond, Va, May &. 1865.
Daily State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1861-1865, 1865-05-20

As wide spread the continent Of North America But
the browning glory Of his life remains TO be attained in
his discovery rather combination for he does not
claim to have been the dscoverer of CEDkON /,
which is the basis Of the BitteTs offered to the pub
lie That honor belongs 10 the native inhabitants of
Central America, whom its virtues have been known
for more than two hundred years Armed with it, the
Indian bids defiance to the most deadly malaria and
handles without fear the serpens Its
belief with them while there body
the Cedron is potent TO cure, matter what the iseas
may be.
While DIR. Bull is prepared TO endorse this
CANT pretension, he is nevertheless satisfied from
thorough examination of the evidence relating to its
virtues, that remedy and preventative Of all dis
arising from xposure either change weather
or climate, OF to miasmatic influences, il stands
Daily State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1861-1865, 1865-05-20
MEDICAL.
M A N II O O d

ND THE vIGoR OF YOUTH RESTORED IN FOUR
n weeks by DIR. RECORDS ESSENCE OF LIFE. DIR.
Rcord, (of Pars) after years Of earnest solicitation
has at length acceeded TO the urgent request Of the
American public, and appointed agent in New York,
for the sale of his valued and highly przed Essence OF
Life. This wonderful agent will restore Manhood to
the most shattered constitutions in four weeks and
used according printed instructions failure is mpos-
sibe. This liferestoring remedy should be taken by
all about TO marry, its effects permanent Sue
cess, in every case, is certain.
Dr. Ricord Essence of Life Is sold In cases. with full
instructions for use at So four quantities in one for
g. and will be sent to any part, carefully packed,
receipt of REMIT his accredited agent Circular
sent free receipt Of four stamps.
PULP ROLAND, Az Broome street,
jaD21-dly One door west Of Broadway. N. Y.