Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1865-12-09
Wiz and Wisd0m.

"A clerk in music store was lately
overpowered by fastidious young lady
who wanted to purchase "Mr. Thomas
under garment" The clerk is still
alive.
An Irish Dragon officer, on hear
ing that his widowed mother had mar
ried since he quilted ireland, exclaim-
ed, "Murtherl Ihope she won't have
son older than me; if she does, I shall
lose the estate"
u gave the fellow a shilling" said
Sir Walter Scott, on some occasion
when sixpence was the fee, and added,
remember you owe me sixpence,
Pat. ''May your honor live till pay
your
You can get more comfort to your
family out of five dollars iudiciously ex-
pended at home, than ont of twenty
five dollars in taking the family to a
fashionable watering place.
Patrick O'Flaherty said that his
wife was very ungrateful, for "whin l
married her she hadn't rag 10 her back,
but now she is covered with EN-"
-"Are you Christian indiana" ask
ed benevolent G, n'leman of one Of Il e
Chippewa tribe. mo, SIR" was the
answer: II whisky Ingen."
Some people are never abreast of
the age. They dive into the stream of
the past and don't come up again
their heads stick in the mud at the bot
tom.
"A New York shop-keeper advertises
''bridal fans at from So to $50" We
reckon good many young married
men can get blowing up cheaper than
that.
Many persons have their best socie-
ty in their own hearts and souls-the
purest memories of earth and the sweet
est hopes of heaven; their loneliness
cannot be called solitude.
An officer in the navy seeing a sail
or praying before an engagement, re-
preached him with cowardice. "There
is no cowardice in it," said he; "I was
only praying that the shots might be
distributed among the officers in the
same proportion as the prize money
is"
Two operatives were discussing the
subject of a new graveyard in Scotland,
when one of them expressed his aver
sion to it in the remark, I'D rather dee
than be buried IN sic a placer With
equal disregard of the logic of facts, his
companion, who held an exactly OPP
posite opinion of the cemetery, retort-
ed, twill, If I'm spared in life and
health. Eli gang nowhere else!"
Rev. ]. P.Cook of the French Wes-
leyan Conference, who was at the Hi
nois Sunday School Anniversary, told
an anecdote of little boy;3 whom his
minister asked, among otherquestions,
'Does not the devil tell you you are
not a christian?" eyes" "Well,
what do you say?" 81 tell him." an.
swered the boy, ''that whether I am or
not, is none of his business"
"A good story is being told in cler-
ical circles about the Bishop of Oxford,
who has received the undigniied cog
nolnan Of "Soapy SAM" 1t is said that
when the bishop was travelling eastward
to attend the Church Congress at Ok
ford, lady, who was sitting opposite
to him, commented in hattering terms
on the eioquence and ability of the
great Anglican divine, quite uncon-
scious that she was addressing him.
s'Bnt, why, sir, she added, do people
call him ''Soapy Sam?'' ''Well, mad
am replied the Bishop, 81 suppose il
IS because he has always been in good
deal of hot water, and always manages
to come out with clean hands,"
4 a moot IN the Nabraska Citv News
concludes long poem with the follow
ing lines. They contain more truth
than poetry:
Well, such i.lifei Whom the gods love,
| Die young Whom they hate. live and prosper,
| And are elected Delegates In Congress
/ lrom the several Territories.
That reminds one of Hook, who
meeting group of playful boys, patteC
them tenderly on the head, remarking
Poor little fellows; how sad to thinl
they may grow up to be members OF
Parliamentp'