davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-05-31

"Why, Bridget" said lady who wish
cd to rally her servant girl, for the
amusement of company, upon the f,ntas-
tic ornamenting OF a huge pie, "did you
do this You're quite an artist. Pray,
how did you do ?" "Indade, mum. it
was myself that did it," replied Bridget.
ISN'T it pretty! ! did it with your old
false teeth, num-"
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-05-31

"Ah," said old Mrs Rosebury, "larn-
ing Is great thing I've often felt the
need OF it, Why would you be-
lieve it, 1 am now sixty years old, and
only know the rames cf three months in
the year, and them'a Spring, Fan and
Autumn. larnt the names of them
when ! was II little bit'of a gall"
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-05-31

\ convict, who was abont TO be sent
TO the House of Correction, was told that
they would set him to picking oakum, -
''Let 'em try i, by gosh ~ said he, IN
tear the dar,i'd oakum all to pieces !"
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-05-31

A gentleman who was fond of wine
SAID it had two bad qualities. "F ! put
water to it," said he, SIT spoils it, and if
l don't it spols me-"
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-05-31

Josh Billings says, "God save the
phools, and don't let 'em run out, for if
twan't for them wise men couldn't get a
living"
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-05-31

J'~eaiSe S,eeA-"Oh, how delightful it
must be TO be dog !" Young Lady,--,
"Never mind, Charlie, you have chance
to grow"
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-05-31

Motto for life insurance companies
"Never say die"
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-05-31

Why is a man who stakes his money
in a gambling-house like Il star ! Ans
Because he's an dst 10 risk.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-05-31

What is the difference between Il mis-
chievous mouse and beautiful young
lady Ans-One harms the cheese, and
the other charms the he's.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-05-31

SIS that your husband ma'am p "He
be-" Is that your wife, sir :" ''She be- ;
"Ah, that's pleasanti a ho bee and a
she bee can hardly fail to taste the sweets
of life in perfection. "Have you any
offspring I" "Quite a swarm, SIR
''Ah, that makes difference-but no
doubt you love the little humIbugs"
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-05-31

\ SECRET KEPr-A French actress.
whose yontn and beauty appeared mex
haus,ibIe-on the boards-ncyer would
tell her age OF course, the more she
wouldn't tell it, the more curious people
were to know 1t. \ woman can't keep Il
secret! She kept hat
by good luck-as the multitude thought
she was summond as witness on n
trial. The gos,ips rubbed their hand-
AMI chuckled. "Aha we shall know
it now. She must tell, or 90 to prison for
contempt OF court. She won't 20 to pri-
son; she will, therefore, tell" The court
was crowded with opcn-cared listeners
In French Courts OF Justice, the witness
does not stand in Il box TO give evidence,
but sits on stool in the middle Of the
floor of the court, in front Of tbs presi-
dents desk and with no barrier pr separa-
ton between it and himself The lady
was ushered in, raised her right hand t0
heaven, took the oath to speak the truth,
and then seated herself ON the 'witnes,
stool. "Your name ?" asked the presi-
ueht. - An9ellque IoulouiHcl!rle.
" Your profession ?" Carlisle " dramati-
que" "Your age ?" You might have
heard a pin drop, or the hair grow on the
bystanlers' head, Every eye was bent
on the lady. She was driven into Il corner
at last
Foolish Partisan public to thiull 50
Angelique simply rose from her seat,
walked straight up to the presidents desk,
and whispered the secret in his ear. lie
nodded, made the entry in his private
notes, and smiling continued the rest OF
his inierrogltory as soon as she had re-
sumed her place on the selette The
public retired with feelings of mingled dis
gust and admiration. The trial had lost
all further interest; and tie president
was known to be "A man of honor aud gal
lantry, who would never let pretty
woman's cat escape from his presidential
bag,-AN tie Yca' R9Uad.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-05-31

When Is butter like irish children
Ans. When it is made into little pats
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-05-31
DEED POTATOE ).

Clzco Potatoes, bushels raised from quarts
good to eat and very productive, "a few bushels
or Sale by II. A. SHELDON. 49d
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-05-31

What musical instrument has had an
Honorary degree conferred upon it Ans.
Fiddle, ID d.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-05-31

Which is the easier TO spell-fddle-de-
de or fddle-de duml Ans. The for
mer, because il is spelt with more e's.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-05-31

Blank were both well known and highly
respectable gentlemen, and both men Of
means. Determined to be cautious, and
feeling certain that neither of these gem
tlemen was likely TO meet me in the set |
moved in, | wrote offering them Il per-
sonal interview for certain day. They
both came to my Office, and appeared to
be gcntemany men Of a decidedly Indian
appearance. After some conversation
in which the intended borrower bargain
ell very hard for lower rate of interest
than had proposed, and at the slmc time
said that week or two more or less did
not signify for the money being paid--i
got the one to draw and the other TO ac-
cept, bill for six hundred pounds at
three months, for which one hundred
pounds was to be deducted by way OF in
terest This was done, and taking the
draft to one of the chief West-end
moncy-lenlers, | got the money tor it,
and paid it over to the borrower
In course of time the bill became due, and
not being paid, an attorneys letter was
written to each party requesting an m
mediate remittance. To my dismay, re-
plies were received from both drawer and
acccptor denying any knowledge whatcv-
er of the bill | then wrote requesting
them TO give me an interview, which they
did, but two strangers presented them
selves. To make a long story short. !
found after a vast deal of inquiry, that
we had been victimized by two clever
sharpers, who had by some means or
other, obtained knowledge OF these two
gcntlemen's references. and Of other par
ticulars respecting them. My fault had
becn that / had never identified one or
other Of the parties whom had sccn.-
The commercial firm and the army
agents that had answc ell for these gentle
mems respectabilty, had done so in per-
feet good faith, believing that had sat
isfed myself as to their being the persons
they represented themselves to be. The
trcl, was clcverly carried out; for, dur
ING the interview had with the swim
piers before they got the money, one Of
them As if by chance, pulled out OF his
breast pocket number of old letters. on
one of which he began to make some cal
culalions with pencil. These letters
were addressed to the person whose name
their owner had assumed The calling
cards Of both imposters ako bore the
names of the gentlemen whom they pre-
tended to be. But clever or otherwise,
nothing was ever seen or heard again OF
these men, and their swindle cost the
moncy-lcnder fve-hunlrei pounds, whilst
it cut me out from ever doing business
again with him.-1H tie Year R1aid
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1865-07-22

4 Sick LIoS--0ld Esop has fable OF
the sick lion that every ass that passed that
way felt it hi S privilege TO kick. This re
minds us Of JEFF Davis position az the pres
ent time. Bound and in prison, broken in
health and sick at heart every petty whip
ster takes his fing at him, and tray,
blanche and Sweetheart" howl in concert.
A late New York paper informs its readers
that "Jcff Davis is universally execrated al
the South.7 Can this be possible? }? That
disappointed political rivals may now try
to. tear him down to their own level, is not
to be wondered at, but that any considcra-
bic portion Of the people of the South have
sunk so low rs to drag in the dust their
once cherished idol, we will not believe
THANK God, there is some manhood left
among US yet Galues;oa .Ners l7tr
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1865-07-22
sy-rhe following sensible article is from

sd-The following sensible article is from
tho New Orleans Times, the administration
paper of that city. 1t applies as well to the
State Of Texas as louisiana
OLD CITrzESs.-S Some of our very good
friends express strong regrets at the fact
that there is a disposition on the part of
many men, who have from preference or
from policy favored the Confederate cause
to engage in the work Of rebuilding the
shattered fabric of our civil institutions.-
They claim that these persons should not
be allowed to take part in political affairs,
and that at all events there should not be
apparent any Willingness anywhere to
give them influence. 1t strikes US thai this
dread Of the cid citizens who are now TAX
ing the amnesty oath is wrong aud absurd.
Ii is absurd. Before the feet Of Farra-
gut hammered it's way past Forts ST. Philip
and jackson, how many earnest and consis-
tent--we will not add, active-Union men
did this good city hold2 Who Lad not done
something in one way or another, cheerful
~, or as o matter of prudence, TO mid the Con-
federacy2 The room need not have been
large one TO have held aconvocation Of such
daring spirits. But, to bring our interrcg-
aiories to a narrower point; how many of
the men who have put themselves forward
since Gen Banks called for an election Of
provisional State officers, as candidates for
oifice, as the censors Of other peoples 10y
atty, are the simon pure Union and Free
State men Of Louisiana, hnt who were, at
one timo or another, in ihs Confederate ar
my, OF promoting enlistmcnts, OF giving
money therefor, OF making secession speech
Is, OF occupying Offices, under the secession
STATE Government, OF trying to get them 2
How many Of The most earacsi friends Of
TIE negro we're, not long since. ardent in
the advocacy Of pro-slavery opinions2 But
A, who, until The advent Of General Butler,
was unsnspecied Of hostility to the Confcd-
cracy, j. VERY fearful Of the danger OF
trusting B, who supported the same Gov
crrment until Gen. Canhy received the
surrender of Gems Taylor and Smith,
Verify. huubug Is great King and hath
1nsrr ~.r-li1Ters.
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1865-07-22

This way Of talking against citizens re-
turning to their allegiance, Is wrong. The
National Government will not banish the
mass of the Southern people f9r treason
II has pardened them already. The state
Governments will pot attempt u. That
policy will rot be adopted in Lonlslana.--
We are all to live together here. Tho Gov
ernment can trust the oaths Of those who
swear to support IL to-day, as well ~ those
who received certificates under Gen. But
lers order of June 10Th 1862. When New
Orleans was taken, the citizens Of this par
ish were ready To ronew their fcalty to the
United States. When Shreveport was oe.
cupied, the residents of Caddo parish dts
played the same disposition.
Ii is merely question of dates, rs far as
the c.majority are concerned. Now tho aid
Of these citizens Of tho country parishes Il
as necessary as the aid of those who have
been pocketing the States money, anu pot
terinc the States laws for the last ycar---
They are, ut the least, as honest and as ca
pahle. We do not want to see them shut
out from the privileges Of citizenship. for
the State needs their help. We do not want
TO make Of those who can be of real use to
the State, discontented residents, aliens in
effect to the government they arc now will
ing to support. Let us work together for
tho future There Is enough for us all to
do and to undo Let the past alone. When
people begin to throw stones VIC must see II
they are sinless.
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1865-07-22

BayGen. Jso. B. HooD, arrived in San
Antonio, on tho evening of the 3rd inst
after an absence of over four years. The
Herald in noticing his arrival says;
If we remember rightly, he entered the
Confederate service as q Captain and nobly
fought his way up tothat Of full General
His manly formhas been hacked and pierced
until it is now shorn of somo Of its fair
proportions, still the General is in fine
spirits and the full enjoyment of health
A singular fact which he related to us He
says that prior to his last severe wound,
which cost him his leg, he used to suffer
much from rheumatic pains caused by cold
and camp exposure, but that since receiv-
ing the wound above mentioned and the
loss of his limb, he has never felt those af-
hictions.
Though the cause for which Gen. Hoop
has battlcd SO nobly and suffered so man
fully, has failed, still lie has home in the
heart and under the. roof of every brave
and generous Texan. lie returns TO his
home in our State, poor in purse, but rich
in the rewards coyetedbv brave and chiv-
alrous soldier. He shall never want fer
the comforts of life. Long may he live to
enjoy the gratitude of his countrymen.
In speaking of Gen. HooD, it is not i'm
proper to remark, that now that all honor
able resistance has ceased on the part Of
the Confederate States, towards the United
States, that like LEE and foRREsT, he
counsels respectful obedience and allegi-
ancc to the United States officers and Gov
ernmcnt
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1865-07-22
AN IMPORTAAT ORDER.

WASHINGTON, Juno q, 1865.-The fol-
lowing important order was issued to-day !:
TREAsrny DEPARTMENT, June 81, 'G5.
Section &c of the Internal Revenue Act
approved juno so, 1854, provides that when
ever the authority of tho United States
shall have been re-established in any State
where the execution of the laws had pre-
viously been impossible, the provisions of
the Act shall be put in force in such State
with such modification of inapplicablc reg
ulations in regard to assessment levy, time
and manner Of collection as may be direct
ed by the Department. Without waving
in any degree the rights of the Government
ip rcspcct to taxes that have heretofore ac-
crucd, or assuming to cxonerate the tax
payer from his legal responsibility for such
taxes, the Department does not deem it adj
visablo to insist at present upon their pay
mcnt, so far as they were payable prior to
the establishment of collection district
embracing the territory in which the tax
payer scs.iee.f But Assessors in the seve.
raj collection districts recently established
in L'e States lately in insurrection are di.
rected to "a -ire returns and TO make az
scssuserts Tor li.s several classes OF taxes
for the appropriate legal period preceding
tho first regular day on which tax be-
comes i-c after the establishment Of the
district, that is to say, in the several dis
tricts In question. The proper tax will be
assessed upon the in omc of the year 1864,
inasnuch as the tax for that yeer is due
upon the Both day OF June, Of subsea acntly
10 the establishment Of the district.
All persons found doing a business for
which license is required viii be assessed
r. II II Iu& H. -
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1865-07-22
B6S-Wc clip tue following items from the
Marshall Republican Of the 7th inst;

The 10th and 18th New York cavalry,
consolidated passed through Marshall on
Wednesday morning, en- route for San An
tonic These troops were superbly mounted.
They formed the adyanee of Ave thousand
cavalry destined for the same point, which
we understand have reached Shreveport
We arc informed that one Of the men died
from sun stroke on the way out, in the vi
cinity Of Marshal.
CouSTERrEIr GREESDAcKs.--Counter
hundreds and twenties are in circulation.
We notice il the counterfeit 20s lst. The
engraving is much lighter. End. The bill
is fully the 10th Of an inch lor ger and wi
der 3D.. The signatures although well exc
cutel are much heavier. 4th. The vignettes
do not possess the delicacy of outline and
fine finish of the original. The shield is
indistinct. 9th. The signature Of the Treas
urcr is much closer to the line Immediately
below it. 9Th The word twenty is badly
printed and uneven.
The counterfeit is Si00's Of the legal
tender notey Of the act of Feb. 2jth 1862.
The general appearances of the counterfeit
is not as good as the genuine, the paper
being inferior aud the printing paler; the
red figures designating the number of the
Dill are clumsy. Ou tuc pdCh VI thc Diiii
the 100 between the scroll or circle co niain-
ing the words Treasury Note, on the right
hand end, is reversed in the counterfeit,
but is correct on the left, while in the genu-
inc 1t is exactly different.
CErEBR ArroS OF THE FOURTH or JrLy.-
The military authorities celebrated IL 4th
Of July at this place A pole had been
erected on the public square, by the soldiers
the day previous, and at sunrise on the
morning Of the 4th the United States flag
was hoisied, snd salute Of IL guns hired,
At. 10 o'clock the military, accompanied
with music, marched through the principal
streets. In the evening, wagon, drawn
by thirty-four mules, aud containing a num-
Der Of huge limbs Of forest trees, standing
erect. intending, we presume, 10 represent
trees with two chicken cocks, in the branch
eg paraded the streets. The object OF this
singular exhibition we failed 10 learn. Late
in the evening, the military again para1ed
the streets, aud after being drawn up in
front Of the hotel, the soldiers gave three
cheers each for the U. s. flag, President
johnson, and General Grant. The citizens
took no part IN the celebration. Our people
have never taken much interest in celebra-
sions Of any kind. While the 4th has al
ways been honored By them, We know Of but
ono instance Of celebration on that day
= few Of them we're en- the public s1nAre,
rs spectators u the scene lie eTolu'lons
Of ile soldiers Ftrc ~ell s1cclie5- 1uf 1c
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1865-07-22


NrGRo LAnoR Is VirdiygA lhe Rich
nond Republic says;
4 meeting VI farmers representing the
counties OF GooehlsNd, Louisa, A.bemerlc,
Caroline, Orange, Hanover and FAyanfnn,
was held ut Louisa Court nouic, far tho
purpose OF consiierinR tho question ot
the remuneration to b. made for acgr1
labor hereafter. Ancr dellberat.ou, it
was determined to fix the hire oi ielA
h nds at five dollars per month tho
negro TO furnish his clothlng and pay hia
doctors bills. Tho SUN Of oae dollar per
day for hands during harvest was nSed UP.
Oh. This is an important mo 'emoni, beins
the first fixing the pay for the negroes "a
Virginia. These prices will rule through
out the State. and very likely throughout
the South. They far exceed those pail for
agricultural labor in Europe, and should hO
satisfactory to all parties. We hoge nov
that tho scale OF prices has been de'erinin-
81 on, the negroes will proFp,lygo % wGsA
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1865-07-22


A letter written by James Sorley of Gal
weston to Dr. James Scott of Waverly, pub
lished in the Galveston News Of 18th ult.,
in relation to the status of the negro labor
err. after conference with the Federal author
tiles on the subject, discloses the situation
fully. We make the following extract Of
tie information of our readers:
The Louisiana regulations are not in
force here, and will not be. A"Freedman's
Bureau" will, doubtless, be organized here,
and will establish rules for the regulation
of the new relation between employer and
laborer-those rules, am assured, will be
so framed as to meet the requirements OF
the country, 70 protect and develop its in
dustry, and, while securing to the laborcr
fair remuneration, protecting the capital
ist.and employer against the evils Of ire s.
ular service, and exto;tionato wages. AS
sometime, however, must elapse before this
system Can be adopted and promulgated,
immediate information is needed. The on
ly order so far published on the subject, is
that of Maj. General Granger, June 10, No.
3, informing the.people of Texas that in ac-
cordance with the President proclamation
''all slaves are free that as laborers, they
will hereafter be entitled to wages-also,
advising the laborers TO remain where they
are and work for cs--informing them,
that they will not be allowed to collect in
towns, or liyo in idleness. From the con-
vorsations have had on this subject, with
General Granger, and with Col. Laughlin,
Provost Marshal General-both of whom
found to be courteous and disposed to give
every information and assistance on this
subject l feel authorized to say to you,
that your negroes will not be allowed to
wander as vagrants through the country;
they are advised to stay with you and work
for wages; if they do not they will be made
to work for the Government without wages.
Until bureau is organized and tariff, or
some uniform mode Of compensation is
adopted, you will make contrscts with your
negroes, such as may be equitable and mu-
tually agreed upon this should bein writ
ing-should be for, at least the remainder
Of this year, and should be attestcd before
a Provost Marshal or Civil Magistrate or
Notary Public, and the attestation on be-
half Of the negroes should be by one OF
their number. The compensation may be
a fixed price psr month, or per certage of
the crop produced, and for the present year
the wages should be paid at its closo.--
Should any Of the negroes seek to evade
theircontract, they can be proceeded against
before the civil courts, and the wages in the
employers hands is SO faran indemnity for
damages.
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1865-07-22

presume the scene was one of interest aud
pleasure to those engaged in 1t. The ne
groos throughout the county had heard oil
the celebration, and came in fromall direc-
lions. Such u conyocation We have never
witnessed IN Marshal. II embraced not
only men aud women, but hundreds OF chill
dren. The mass, impcllcd by curiosity,
went from place to place, throughout tho
day, behaving, so far as we perceived or
learned, with proprieIy.
A second salute was fired late in the
evening. Take the whole scene, and il was
one Of the most unique We ever witnessed.
Here was soldiery, composed OF men, liy-
ing in distant portions Of tho Union, whose
education, habits Of thought. prejadices,
and political opinions were essentially dlf.
forent from those OF tho resident white
population, and here was new foreign cl-
cment, suddenly made frecf "native Amesi-
cans of African descent" strange witnesses
Of a ceremony which for tho fret time in
their history they ARC instructed TO believe
is one in which they are to have hereafter
n common interest. Awcll executed pho
tograph OF the scene would have formed aH
interesting picture.
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1865-07-22

The report Of the robbery Of ex-Gov. Al.
len, while on his way TO Mexico, il seems
was untrue. We are glad TO hear it. II
could scarcely be credited that any man in
Texas was mean enough for such an action
The San Antonio Herald says.
1--WE think this report must hoa mistake,
as we saw and converscd with him on seve-
raj occasions as he passed through ban
Antonio, On route for Mexico, and be made
no reference 70 such an occurrence-in TACT
said he had met With no difficulty in psss-
ing through The country, except one ialss
alarta.s
Dallas herald. [volume] (Dallas, Tex.) 1849-1873, 1865-07-22

The henderson Tines, Of the 2iih inst,
says
A great deal more wheat has been har-
vested in this section han any one expect
ed-thcre will be considerable surplus
above an ample supply FOR the people The
corn crop, TO, since the recent rnins, y
quite promising. Indecd, from present
prospects. this j. = te The vesf Of plenty -
far e. tie products q ~ -'ii isr>aeern =