, 1865-03-24
NUMBER 10.

"Yes, Pete; Use enlisted t-f q q,
"Well den, Pomp, | wants to ak you jes one
! ting befO you 60 Wut's dis heah bout mill
tary necessity Wuts it mean q ra ilaroI
"I'il splain it to you rite off Gin e your,
knife fust."
"Berry we'll Now, am you loyal man,
Pete ~
81 speck is"
"Lucky for you Now, law am one ting and
military necessity am anoder. lse sojer. War
times now wild me. got your knife because it
was a military necessity. want it,. De law
can. touch me fur taking it. You touch me
fur taking it. You touch me and you am op-
posed to military necessity, and you go to Fort
Laughyet." r13
''Why, dats my knifelp
"So. tam coi.Asticated by military ncces-
sity In time ob war, de Army and de Gubber-
ment takes all dey want-property, slabes, and
all tings-bekas dey want it to help to kerry on
de war. In peace der is no such military neces-
sity, and dey couldn't do it; but now, if dey
am opposed, dose who opposes am rebels, be-
kase dey oppose de interest OBJ de whole kentry.
| am in dat interest; being sojer. keep your
knife fur military necessity; you objeck and
you're a Seceshunist at once So be keerful.
| Wut say2"
81 say, take de knife-and be dam IL don't
want to go Fort Laughyet"
'Den you sufficiently understand bout mill
tary necessity? ~
81 does now dats fack."
'Well dar l ollurs fought you was loyal; so
good bye, Pete de Gineral wants to see me-"
'GoOd bye, Pomp but when de Warts ober,
bring back my knife.
PRINTER ON A TRAMP.-A Dutchman. sit
ting at the door Of his tavern out West is ap-
preached by tall thin Yankee, who is emf
grating Westward on foot, with a bundle on a
cane over his shoulder.
"Vel Mshter Walking shtick yot you want?''.
Crest and refreshments is the reply
"Supper and lochin, suppose?p
eyes, supper and lodging"
ape you Yankee peddler, nit chewelry in
your pack, to sheat te girls P'
''No, sir, am no Yankee peddler"
"a singin' mashter, too lazy to work.
"No, sirp
IA shenteel shoemaker, vat loves to measure
te gals foots unit ankgles peter tan to make te
! shoes p
''No, sir, or I should certainly have mended
my own shoes"
"A book achent, vot bodders te school qom-
mittees till dey do vat you wish, shoost to get
rid of your
"Guess again, sir. am no book agent"
''Te tuyyel. A dentist preakin te beeple's
! chaws at a dollar a schnag % r-r.r
''No, sir. l am no tooth puller.p
"Prenolochist, ten, feelin te young folks
| heads like so many cappidge
''No nor phrenologist'
"Vel, ten vat te tuyvel can You pei Shoost
tell, unit you shall have te pest sassage for sup
per, unit shtay all night, free gratis, NIT out
nit in te mornin'."
~ am an humble disciple of Faust-a pro-
fessor of the art preservatiye Of all arts-a ty-
pographer, at your service"
''Vatch dat2'
"a printer, sir; man that prints books and
newspapers"
IA man vat prints pooks unit newspapers p
Obi yaw, yaw, dat sh it-a man vat prints
newspapers Yaw, yaw | wish ] may be shot,
if | didn't tink you wash a poor tuyvel of a dis
trct schoomaster, vat works for nothing and
poards around novare. fought you wash him.
Walk in, walk in, Mishter Printerman =
1t is said that the clergy of Savannah omit
from the usual formula the prayer for the Presi-
dent of the United States and Gen. Sherman is
eported to have said when ofone theserebel Epis-
rcopal diyines called upon him to ascertain
if he would be allowed to pray for JEFF Dayis:-
"Pray for jeff. Davis why certainly You ought
to pray for him every day, for jeff. Davis and the
devil need praying forYery much"
Chief Justice Chase is the author of the eele-
brated phrase "Congress has more power to
| make a slave than king. The sentence is
| contained in one of the resolutions adopted by
the National Liberty Free Soil) Convention held
at Buffalo in 1856. Mr. Chase wrote most Of the
resolutions Of that Convention.
MIND YOUR SroPs.-A clergyman was lately de-
picting before deeply-interested audience the
alarming increase Of intemperance when he as
tonished his hearers by exclaiming, "a young
woman in my neighborhood died very suddenly
last Sabbath while was preaching the Gospel
in a state Of beastly intoxicauonP'
The Milwaukee News, speaking of one F. J.
Jackson, who is an applicant for re-appontment
| as Postmaster in a town of Wisconsin, says he
was "always a Democrat" until the Democrats
lost the power of appointing Postmasters.
When Gen Thomas was cadet at West
Point, he was called cold Tom on account Of
his sedateness. He was methodical boy, and
as a is so strong-mnded that in the army
he is known as "Obstinate Tom"
'sday leave some tracts ?" asked mission
airy of lady who responded to his knock
"Leave some tracks certainly you may, said
she, looking at him over her spectacles, sleave
them with the heels towards the house, if you
please"
The Cairo Democrat tells of young woman,
aged but twenty-one, who is the mother ofelev-
en- children, all of which she has bad in four
years. Three sets of triplets and pair of twinsl
William Cullen Bryant, the greatest of our
American poets, is now seventy years old He
is still in the full vigor health, and does full
share Of editorial labor for the New York Even
ing Post Of which be is one Of the proprietors.
A young lady has discovered the reason why
married men, from the age Of thirty years and
upward are more or less bald; they scratch all
the hair off in dismay at their wives long mill
liners bills.
To make hens lay perpetually, hit them on the
head with club. Some other modes have been
recommended, but this is the only one found to
be efectual
If some men had their limbs broken they would
be cripples for life. Their bone would be too
lazy to knit lsre oH
Marrying woman for her beauty is ike eat
ing bird for its singing
WoHsN love to exercise eontrol; skey arc not
satisfied unless they have husbands 70 order