The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1865-07-19
For the Register,l
Shall Such Things he.
BY O. SHAW.


BY o. SHAW.
A couple. of weeks since the imbibing
portion of our community, and their name
is legion, were startled from the even
tenor of their several ways, by waking
one morning to find placards hung on the
outward walls, and cards published in
the papers, to the effect that, hereafter
until further notice, all beverages of a
cheering and inebriating character, were
to be non-getable, by reason of general
orders that all bars be immediately
closed The general and peculiar orders
were at first sight considered as joke
OF at best only applicable to the military
portion of the country, but when JOHN
Charles Augustus George Henry Brown
and friends, who had been indulging even
unto the "wee sma' hours" sought that
sovereign panacea for demoralized
frames and disorganized nerves, cock
tail before breakfast, and found the halls
of dazzling light bolted and barred,
they realized that startling truth in all
it's immensity, that we ''are too much
governed" To say that they individual
" felt bad, felt ''down i'll the mouth" felt
indignant at this military infringement
ON civil rights, would but family express
their feelings, and the feelings of hun
dreds of others, who had that morning
for the first time in long series of years
failed to "moisten their clay" 1t was
generally conceded to be the greatest
| affection ever visited on any loyal com
munity. and the grOssest and most tyran
nical, order that ever emanated from any
Headquarters. That high handed ont
rage in ''Utiky," perpetrated on A. Wards
wax figger show, by which Judas Iscari-
OF had his head caved in, by big burly
| fellow, who said that he (Judas,) couldn't
show hisselfi in Utiky with impunty by
a darn Site wasn't circumstance to this
high handed assumption OF authority
perpetrated on n suffering thirsting, law
abiding people
Various inquiries were made, i'll regard
to the person from whom the OF der pro-
ceeded, as he was comparatively un-
known here abouts. An eX-nember of
council was heard to ask if the "Colonel's
bowels never yearned for something
strengthening and if"he never had been
seen intoxicated as regards to liquors.
he thought the Colonel was convivial
spirit, and petition was gotten up and
signed by even the tenth portion OF the
citizens who were athirst that it would
look so formidable, from its length, that
the order would be rescinded Immediate
". That councilman didn't want IL
drink, oh no. Some surmised that the
Colonel was stringent believer IL
the Maine Liquor Law, and chairman
of the total abstinence committee,
that he had come here to try and
reform the drunkards, and he had
thus taken the easiest method 10 keep
them from drinking, by placing the ar
dent where it was impossible for them 70
get at it, under the strong arm of the
military law if he has this last charita-
BILE motive in view, he has our best
wishes for ultimate success, but we would
respectfully remind him that it will
doubtless prove fruitless undertaking,
for we have some incorrigible topers
amongst us, who have listened to great
many temperance lectures, and seen any
amount of examples which they failed
to profit by. Whatever may have been
the Colonel's real object, it certainly
knocks the trade of the 'gin mills" for
the time being, into cooked hat, and as
we recently passed along the streets
where smiling faces formerly most did
congregate, we recognized but one IA
miliar face, twas that of an old salt
who is somewhat noted for. taking a
grown persons dose and perhaps little
more when asked up to take some
thin" - be stood there gazing at the
closed doors, we could almost imagine
his feelings, 50 We perpetrated a rhyme
about him, which his friends can have
without extra charge;
He stood in front of the liquor saloon
And gazed at the bottles within
Labelled so nicely and 'hyperkoon,
Whisky, brandy and gin
Aud he licked his lips that were paIOhed aud
- dry
AS he heard the tumblers clash
And saw the CLEAN of the barkeepers eye
As he mixed his whisky smash.
Then he turned away with sad old face
And mournfully said, Il vow
never thought should envy him,
But darned if don't now"
He probably thought, as he turned
away, of the good time coming when
"barkeepers'' will have no unfair adj
vantages, and consoled himself for the
drink he didn't get by thinking that
what is to be, will be, as what has been
was"