The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-08-04
Spare Lines.

Sad domestic expiosion-an injured wife
lately burst into tears.
The burning of Barnum's Museum brought
the poor whale to such grief that ho blub-
bered.
The first thing man takes to in1iie is his
milk-the last Is his bier.
What is II that is taken FROM you before
you have It yourseli2 Your portrait.
When an army is about Raisin' siege, do
they always uso Grapcsbot3
An Irish paper, describing a late duel. says
that one Of the combatants was shot through
the aeshy part Of the thigh bone.
"Cultivate not only tho corn6elds Of tho
mind. but tho pleasure.Grounds also." was q
motto Of DR.. Whatcley's.
wo apprehond that tho effects Of thowar
will soon be about the only effects the South.
crn confcderacy will have.
Who was the FIRST jockey Adam, for ho
was the Father OF the Race.
An "owdacious' newspaper writer speaks
Of doctors as gentlemen Of the turf.
al Iam broken man." said poor poot.
80 should think" was the reply, "for I
have seen your pieces"
A nice old lady up town declares that she
thinks II very strange that little quicksil-
YER in glass tube can make such awful hot
weather by just rising II an inch or 80.
Briggs has great faculty for getting
things cheap. Tho other LAY no h"d u beau-
tiful set Of tcoth inserted for ncxt to moth
ing. He kicked dog.
Tho grOat difference between Noahs ark
and an archbishop Is said " DO that ono iss
very high ark, but the othcr is hiorarch.
Don't 1.-Two in hope with your arms folded
Fortune smiles on those who roll up their
sleeves and put their shoulders to tho wheel.
An eminent judge said 10 jury who had
passed slccpless night in thoir room, una
bic to agree upon verdict: "Gcntlcmen,i
am surprised that you cannot agrco in this
casc icould agree either way in fvc min.
utcs.' sf'f-
Mr.. Quilp notices that many Of our fash.
ionable ladies ars running to waist. Thsro
seems but ono way to stay tho epidemic.
III mourn for my bleeding county" said
certain army contractor to Gen. Sheridan.
$50 you ought" replied Sheridan. "for no.
body has blcd bor moro than you have"
A barrister having wesried tho court bys
long and dull argument, the judge suggested
tho szpcdiency Of bis bringing Il to close.
81 shall speak o. long as please" horo.
piled. angrily. "You have spoken longer
than you pleased, already" answered tho
judge.
Excited Orator-"We have taken Atlanta
we have taken SAVANNAH, Columbia, Charles
ton, and now at last we have captured Ps-
temburgb and occupied Richmond, aud what
remains LOT 10 70 nav no """s"" 80
tho crowd shoats. "Lsts take . drink" ,
The crowd dispsrses In various directions.
Mr. oailp, who boasts that he nsvsr takes
.IesvIpgs, !" wishes IN explain that hs does
not include lsgaois in the category.
A correspondent moro addicted TO scrip
lure than tbe classics, asksif tho trsuslation
,f Homer beam any rcseublauoe 70 The
translation OF Euoch.
Biddy, while on begging expedition, was
.skcd BY lady II she bad any children.
Yes. mum, replied Biddy. with great read
nss. "l'm tho mother Of an orphan"
Douglas Jerrold once went tos party ss
which Mr. Pepper had assembled some tr'snos I,
ind said to his host on entering the ROOM .
my dear Pepper, how glad you must Do 70
go al your friends mustered.
An exchange pIoAds in szssnuasioa Of
aollips that hs does not come under che ds6-
,ition Of rebel. He mover Jorgh the Gov
rnrueut nor anything clsc.