, 1865-02-17
letter From a Retirsd Road Accent.

EDITORS STATESMAN Il observe that danger
GUS innovations are creeping into our system of
jurisprudence, and as a Law and Order man
venture to offer protest-feeble it may be, but
nevertheless my protest against the unlawful or
ganizations known as Vigilance Committees.
hold that they in direct contraveniOn o the
principles Of modern criminal p: actico, which
may be briefly summed up as follows:
First, the true end and aim of all laws is to
defeat justice.
Second, laws are made for the benefit of law
breakers, and none but bunglers should ever be
convicted.
Third honest men have no rights which
thieves, house-breakers and road-agents should
be made to respect.
Fourth, the useful and productive classes are
disreputable and Should be squelched.
The local criminal practice, and time hon
ored custom, have established the following val
liable principles for the benefit of our ''protes-
sion -
| First, it is not an indictable offense to steal
horses.
Second, it is not felonious to steal beef
Third, it is eminently proper to ''garote" and
roll" drunken miners, packers and other use
full, but "unprofessionar peoples or break a re-
Volyer over the head of any "Josh who ques-
lions our right to do any of these things, or be-
haves in a disrespeetful and ''obstropulous" )"
manner to any of the f'profession.p
| Fourth, it is the bounden duty of the farmers
and stock-raisers Of this country to furnish US
gentlemen with horses, gratuitously, to ride
around the country on professional business.
| If am rightly informed, and think am,
| the abominable Vigilance Committees find their
/ chief exemplar in one Judge Lynch; an ignorant
/ Irishman, who hung his own SON. From this
detestable scoundrel has flowed a system which
threatens to deprive us of our constitutional
rights, and entirely break up our means of sub
sistence. To avert this catastrophe, / invoke
your assistance. This claim on the ground
/ that all "professional men" have a common in
terest. We are the main pillars in the social
| fabric; the glasses of fashion and the noUlds of
| form; the best dancers finest birds and "gayest
! scoundrels' eXtant. Without us rOad-agents,
lawyers, thieves, editors, gamblers and doctors,
the social edifce would dissolve "and vanish
| like the baseless fabric of a ysiOn; parties of
| pleasure would be robbed of their brightest or
naments; the ladies of their most elegant beau1
and beau monde be numbered with the things
that were.
Appealing to your love of injustice, to your in
| teligence, to your regard for the dictates of
! fashion, but, above all, to your self interest /
remain, with sentiments of the highest esteem,
my dear sir, Yours, Sc,
! A RETIRED "RoAD AeENT."
"Sage-Brush Jack 8" Crib ]
| Walla Walla Valley W. 7,
February l4th, 1865.
"Sage-Brush Jack, you can't "playp us by
appealing to our sympathy we've got none for
your kind, not the slightest. You subscribe
yourself "a Retired Road Agent, and you
write like tillain-a sure indication that you
are cultivated rogue and q Clancy duck
Now it is our turn to 'appeal'
We appeal to you as "a road agent" robber
and cut-throat vagabond; we appeal to you as
you love life, liberty and the uninterrupted pur-
| suit of your nefarious ''profession," to retire
beyond the limits of this beautiful valley. You
may be "a retired road agent" but your retira-
cy from the valley would make the thing appear
plausible. To make ycur retiracy doubly posi-
tive, we suggest that the objects of your especial
animosty-Vigilance Committees-be request
ed to hunt up your sage-brush retreat and that
they hound upon your track until you ''vanish
like the baseless fabric of vision"