Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1865-11-17
[From Gleason's Literary Companion.J
TURNING THE TABLES.
BY CLARA AUGUSTA.

JuSJ tnfee weeks married.
They sat at breakfast in their cosy dining
room one fine morning in summer, totally
infatuated with each other. Never such hap
piness as theirs before! The felicity+of Adam
and his lady before they made the acquaint-
ance of the serpent, was not to be mentioned
in the same breath.
+ They kissed each other between every cup
of coffee, and made a practice of embracing
at least twice-sometimes thrice-during every
meal, Just now, they were speaking of dis
agreements. Some friends of theirs had fallen
out, and refused to fall in again.
1--WE never will disagree, will We? Phil,
dear 2" asked Mrs. Fanny
Disagree! will the heavens fall p return-
ed Phil tragcally. go
Il sincerely hope not It would be de-
cidedly disagreeablc' laughed Fanny 't'but
if l thought welgshould ever quarrel, and
have hard thoughts towards each other, /
should betemptedt to terminate my existence!''
a.l'' My precious Fanny !" cried Phil spring
ing up and upsetting the toast plate on the
carpet, Of which he was entirely oblivious in
his eagerness to get his arms around Fanny
~. sMy little foolish darling! as if we should
ever be SO absurd! Ca kiss). May I be drawn
and quartered (apother kiss) if ever I speak
one word that shall causeia tear to fill the
divine eyes Of my dearest Ga third explosion
Fanny" H !f9.i. .s mol: -
20, how happy you make me, Phil Z! I
shall try SO hard to be just the faithful, low
ing wife you deserve. Now finish your break
fast deary. The toast will be growing cold.
And oh, Phil! did you notice Mrs. Smiths
horrid new bonnet last night? | declare! it
destroyed all my pleasure in the music! /
do wish people who will wear such untastful
bonnets would stay at home from those de-
lightful concertsH'
$50 do [, Fanny. noticed the ugly thing
the moment we entered the hall Blue flowers
and pink ribbons, and she dark as Creole p
s'No, my love, the flowers were green. -,
Green and blue look 50 much alike by gas
light" Hin.
Il know they do, but noticed it SO par
.ticularly that l could not be deceived. Blue
especially light blue-looks fearfully on a
dark complexioned person."
$50 it does, Phil. / quite agree with you,
dear. But the flowers were not blue, they
were, green. [ saw them at Mrs. Gray's shop
before they were purchased. - @
ssMy dearest Fanny !: of course you think
yourself right, my love, but ! have very
good eye for color, and | noticed those flowers
with great attention, Blue anemones with
yellow centres"
Green hibiscus with white centres, my
dear Fhil. Very pretty for light skinned
woman, but horrid for brlmette!''
'Why Fanny! how absurd! As if could
not determine a color when | studied it half
the evening p
ssBut it was by gas light, my love 1t
would look altogether different by daylight.
It was such pale green
ut was such pale blue. remember I
thought of the sky before storm
''And I thought Of the sea. It was nearly
sea green.
WHY Fanny how ridiculous! It was sky
blue p '.
How you do contradict me, my dear
Philemon. It was very light green
E Il tell you it was blue I'd bet my life
on i'll" ~
Betting is vulgar. But know it was
green Y
p "And l insist it was bluc!''
EDO you mean to tell me lie 2"
:. Il mean to tell you you are mistaken"
(Which amounts to the same thing p
on make the application, Mrs. Hayes. "
t'Mr. Philemon Hayes!''
Fanny,
Il say it was green, sir y
"And [ say it was blue so there!
".You are a wretch, Phil real mean,
heartless wretchr' and Fanny pushed back
her plate angrily.
"And you are an opinionated, self willed
woman? p and Phil in his agitation upset his
coffee, scalding the cats back and himself at
the same time. ..l.
.sThe deuel." cried he, rubbing his red
fingers with his handkerchief. Il wish I'd
never seen woman =
sWhats that, Sir ?"
8 ssConfound the women They're a curse
to the world p ...t
.sYou brute 2 cried Mrs. Hayes, now
thoroughly incensed-' take that !" and seiz-
ing the plate Of mullins she took aim at Pills
head, but being a woman her aim was not
so accurate as it might have been, and the
plate went through the window smashing in
the new tile of Fitz James Jones, who, was
passing and the mullins were scattered in
wild confusion about the room
Phil was indignant. He laid hands on the
poke.
eff { did not scorn to strike a womau-''
he began.
''Oh, strike exclaimed Fanny it will
only be in piece with your other conduct. =
Don't let any notions of honor restrain you,
because you never had any =
Fanny, beware you may try me too far.
''Ill go home to pa, that will You in
human monster, youp' screamed Fanny
"Ill be divorced from you this very day. So
p and the platter of ham made jour
ney after the mullins - =
just at that moment, Phil Uncle John, a
shrewd old fellow, appeared on the scene. =
He surveyed the group with an amused
twinkle Of the eye. ~
whats the matter, Fanny? Anything
gone wrong p he inquired.
| Gone wrong! Matter enough! Oh, Uncle
John, he's a wretch, and he set out to strike
me with the poker @ .''' &C.. '4@
.'And she threw the plate of mullins and
| the ham at me p 'f''""