The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1865-12-16
DapzeI O,1oaneH and the kcoIa.

- eisf % months. All transient pay
sale ia adyancs
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Dap.eI O'COaneIi and llae Ecula
One of the droliest scenes of ,Ituueratio
that Daniel O'Connell, the celebrated Irisl
orator ever figured in, too place III The earl
part of his lie. Not long alter he was ca!it,
to the bar, hi character and peculiar t,lent
received rapid recognition from ali who wcr,
casually acquainted with him. His talent'
for vitu perative language were perceived, ane
By some he was, even in those days, consli
cred mstche.s as scold However, there
was at that time il Dublin, certain won. all
Biddy Moriart., who had huckster's sal
on one end Of the quay, nearly opposite the
Four Courts. She was virago OF the hrsl
order, very able with her tongue. From one
end of Dublin to the other she was notorious
for her powers OF abuse, and even in the
provinces. Mrs. Moriartys language had
p,ssed into currency. The dictionary OF
Dubin slang had been considera bly, enlarged
BY her, aud her volubleness had almost be.
come proveroial. Some OF O'Connels
friends, however, thought he could beat her
at the Use OF her own weapons. OF IN ),
however, he had some doubt, him self, when
he had listened .;once or twice TO sore minor
specimen of her biilngSgate. 1t was mooted
once whether the young Kerr barrisier cou {
encounter her, a.d sCme one O; the company
lin OConnelrs prese"ce) rather ridiculed
the idea of HI, being able to meet the famous
Madam Morisrty. O'Connell never liked the
idea of being put down, and confessed his
readiness to encounter her. and even backed
himself fak the match. Bets were offered
and taken; and it was decided that the
matter should come off at once.
The party adjourned to the huckster 9
stand, and there was the owner herself super
intending the sale of her small wares: "A
few iouugers and ragged idlers were also
Ioiterirg around the stall, for Bidly was a
Character and, in her way was one Of the
sights of Dublin.
O'Connei Was very confident of success.
He ha laid very ingenious plan for over
coming her, and with all the. anxiety of a,
ardent experimeutalist, waited to put it in
practice. At this time O'Connel's party and
the loungers about the place formed an
audience quite Sufficient to rouse Mrs. Mori-
arty, on public provocstion, to due eXhibi-
ton OF her powers. O'Connell commenced
the attack by sa; ing:
Whats the price of this walking stick,
Mrs. What's>your-n ?"
..Moriarty, sir, is my name, and y good
one it is too, and what haSeye to say agin
it? And one-andsixpence is Tie price OF
the stick. Troih, it's Is chape as dirt, and
30 it is
.Ous and sixpence for such walking
stickb $Mhewl Why, y0n are ne better
than an imposter to ask one and sixpence
for-what cost only ,wopeuce.'
"Twopence, your grandmother replied
Mrs, Biddv. ''Do YOU mean to say that
it's chatting the people l am? lmp5ster
- iudeehi'
"Ay. Impostsr; and it. thst cal! yoa to
your teeth replied o 'Conneh.
..Come. cat your stick, you cant-nkerous
jacksnapes.'
keep civil tongue in your head. you
old diagonsl," rephea O'Connell calmly.
'.Stop your jA~, you pug nosed h.d ger ::
or. by this and that" erica Mrs. Moriarty,
"Tl make you go quicker than you CON.
"Dont be in \ passion. my oil ra aiivus.-
Anger will only wrinkle your beauty"
"By' the key, f you -ay smother word Of
impotence, I'll tan your dirty hide, yoI
bastely common scrub; and sorry I'll be to
soil nv fist with Your csresss.'
"Whs~, boys. vnat pas ion old Biidy's
in protest, As am gentleman"
..Jintlen,n! j,ntl man. The like Of you
. jintleman Wishs, By gor, that ba g.
Banagher. Why, YOU potato faced pppln
sneezer, whore dii - Madsg gascar monkey
like you PICK up enough OF common Chris
,ian decency to bid. yo-r Kerry bra2ur?''
EASY now" cried O'COnnell. with i'm per-
turbabe good humpr, don't choke Yourself
with fine lsngI sc, you old whisky drinking
paralIelogram."
What's tha, you call me, Won dirty, muir
theriug villain 2" rosrod Mrs MoriArty, stung
into fury.
IL call you." answered O'Couaell, "a par
.llelogram, and a Dublin Judge or jury
would say it libel to call you SO" -
10, tare and GUNS! o, holy Bddy, that
an honest woman like me should be call d
parry belly grums, you r.scally galloss bir .;
you cowardty speaking, plate licking black
guard
"Oh. not you, indeed retortei O 'Connei.
"Why suppose you'll deny that you keep a
hypothenuse in your house?' f Il
Its lie for you, you bloody robber !;
ne yer had such thing in my house, you
bloody old thief"
"Why, all your neighbors know very we'll
that you not only keep "a hypothenuse, but
that you have two dismeters locked up in
your garret, and that you go to walk with
them every Sunday, you hesr'less old hepta-
gon"
"Oh hear that We sants in glory! Oh /.
that's bad language for fellow who wants
to pass himself of for jintleman. May
the devil fly ay.with you, you m;eher from
Munster, and bake celery sauce from your
rotten limbs.
''Ah, you can't deny the charge, YOU
miserable submultiple of q duplicate frac.
,tion." III .s 90
go rinse your mouth in the Lifry, YOU
nasty tickle pitcher. After all the bad words
you speak. it ought to be fihhier than your
face. you dirty chicken of Belzebub.''
'Rinse your mouth, you wicked old poly
gon To the deuce l pitch you, you blus-
tering intersection of sinking superhuites.' y
s'You saucy tinkers apprentice. if you
don't cease your jaw, I'll -.--
But here she gasped for breath, unable to
hawk up arv more words. for the last voiley
of O'Connell had nearly knocked the wind
out of her.
"Whi,st hare a tongue I'll abuse you,
you most inimitable periphery. Look at her,
boys-there she stands-a convicted perpen-
dicular IN pe;ticost! There's contamination
in her circa inference, and she tremDles with
guilt down to the extremity of her corollaries.
All, yo re found out, you rectilineal an.ece-
dent and equiangnlar old hag 'ris you the
devil will hy awav with, you porter wiping
simiiitude of the dissection of q vortex
Overwhelmed with this toI rent Of Ian
guage. Mrs Moriarty was silenced Catch
ing up her saucepan, she was aiming il at
OConnell's head, when he very prudently
male . timely retreat.
"fou have won the wager, O'Connell,' y
cried the men who proposed the contest.
"Here's your bet.'
st. Paul. Minnesota, has population oi
1902, against 10, 40J in 1850