The Iowa transcript. (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1858-1866, 1865-11-29
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

......Thc Fislikill Slana0rd says a school
master in that town ..siruck ile' the other
day, but 1t was only Juvenile.
.....Josh Billings says that opera music
don't have no more effect upon him than
Croton oil upon graycn image.
1--WE are against well-exccutcd coun-
! terfeits, but for well-executed counterfeit
ers.
| ....T There arc two directly opposite rea-
\ sons why man cannot sometimes get cred
it; one is because lie i. not known; the
/ other is because he Is.
! ......At thirty VIC are trying TO cut our
name in big letters upon the walls Of this
tenement Of life twenty years later we have
\ carved it, or SHUT up our knife.
......A coward may fight; a coward may
conquer but coward can never forgive.
......I was never ruined but twice, said
wit; ''once when | los. a lawsuit, and when
gained one"
......Who vas the first little boy mention
en- in tn. Bibie! Chap. /.
/ ......lf brooks are, as poets call them, the
most joyous things in nature, what are they
always nltlrmurias about!
......sSally Mander safe !" said Mrs Part
in2ton, rs iier eyes fell ON an advertisement.
'.Do tell me, Isaac, who this Sally Mander
| is and what she's been dom that they've
got her safe"
Il don't know what she's been doing"
said lie; ''but guess she 10 sister to
jerry
! Jerry who, Taaac?"
"Why, Jerry Mander," said Ike, as he
resumed his work by the window catching
! flies. :
| Fanny Fern objects 70 men shedding
tears: she says it IS en- infringement on
wonan's most valuable water privileges"
Miss Lovely says that males are Of no
account from the time ladies stop kissing
| Them as infants, till they kiss them again az
| lovers.
......A writer on swearing says: can oath
from a woman's lips is unnatural and in
credible. would as soon expect bullet
! from rosebud"
......A physician once advised Sydney
! Smith TO take walk upon an empty stom-
/ ach.
.Whose stomach ?" he asked
......A preacher whose text led him to
| speak of the prophet Jonah, among other
things, said: Z. am Of the opinion jonah
was an old man, neither smoking or chewing,
from the fact that the fish retained him SO
long in his stomach. If the fi-h had swal-
lowed the house we are worshiping in, he
would no doubt have vomited himself to
/ death"
1.-THE 1r sh Fenians have committed
a gross absurdity in their illegal drilling.
| The Fenian circles nave been endeavor-
ing 70 form themselves into squares.
! ......A negro who had learned to read,
wishing to give an idea Of it TO some of his
acquaintances who bad never seen book,
said, Reading is the power of hearin 9
with the eyes instead OF the ears.
| .....s How is it," said Il man to his lei GIL
bor, . that our rarson, the LATEST n4n liv-
ing. whites these intermiuahle sermons
why" said the other, probably, after he
begins writing, he is too lazy TO stop"
....."What fine head your boy has. y
said an admitting friend, Yes, said the
fond fa,her,- "he's a chip Of the old block
--ain't you my boy.' ..Yes, father" re
piled the boy; "teacher said yesterday
was young blockheah 7
......A chemist was called up at two O'Clock
the other morning by the ringing of tht
night-bell, On opening the door he found
a damsel, who told him that she was goine
to picnic that morning and was out O
rouge. The impudent druggist turned hcl
of with the assuranc, that lie hadn't il
stock as much as would cover cheek like
hers.
...... Brother G., in times Of rcvivals anG
protracted meetings, always stepped in and
took charge of the singing. lie was very
fond OF hat inferminabe song that began
WITH "Where, q where, is good old Adam -
and might end with the last man. lie had
passed through tile patriarchs and prophets
of the olden time. and the Disciples and
blessed women Of the New Testament. when
John the Baptist occurred to him. w here,
o where. is John the Baptists Safe in the
promised land He Went up''-liere broth
er g. stumbled. lie tried it again. z. He
went up"-but still there was difficulty
in fixing the mode of ascension. AT length.
with desperate energy. he put it through.
: He went up without any head on, safe in
the promised land