The Cadiz sentinel. [volume] (Cadiz, Ohio) 1864-1911, 1865-07-12
From the Brooklyn Eagle.
CORRY O'LANUs' EPISTLE.


waiter girls left.
Pretty waiter girls you know are contrary
to act of Legislature. g.--
/ asked my legal friend D. Witt about it.
He says that taken with strawberries pretty
waiter girls are a moral entertainment.
merely wanted to know, you know, to
satisfy my conscientious scruples.
Since then / have taken them without
hesitation.
They agree with me.
That is the strawberries t
I also agree with the girls.
They always give me an extra strawberry
and two spoons with my ice cream.
Those spoons are quite good thing in
cutlery.
They have such capita edge.
You can cut bread and butter or open
oysters with them.
/ took one home the other night to shave
with. -"..n
l should like to get table spoon Of the
same variety for carving knife.
By way Of variety went toa
PIC MIC
this week. .
Pic-nics, like strawberry festivals, belong
to the church service.
They are a light moral entertainment.
They are mostly held in groves.
A grove consists of several trees, grass
plot, a platform for the music and shanty
where they sell lager
There are numerous groves lying around
about. ".
They are generally built near railroads
for the convenience of the public and the
profit Of the railroad companies.
You take your rations to picnic in a
market basket. ,.
A picnic ration consists of FIVE sand
wiches, hunk of pound cake, huck le-
berry pie, two lemons, 4 pound of cherries,
a box Of sardines, two boiled eggs and a
pickle.
The rest of the outfit consists of sixty
five Sunday y-school teachers, twenty middle
aged ladies, some nice young men, domi-
ME or two, several hundred children and a
brass band.
Get packed in car like box of oranges,
and smothered in white muslin until you get
to the grove, where you will arrive in state
of perspiration and bliss. :.
Don't be particular about your own bas-
ket Baskets usually get mixed.
Take the biggest one you can get. The
ladies always fill their baskets. j r
When you get in the grove, you are ex-
pected to declare il is the delighttulest spot
you ever saw.
Select pretty teacher, and explore the
shadlest recesses, and pour out your soul.
When it is all poured out, ask the young
lady if she wont take q swing.
She will
Sawyer has sung of Swinging in the
Lane. but | don't think he ever tried
swinging in grove.
l did. 4n ". ...... ...
was kept at it for three hours and a
quarter, swinging all the girls that came
along. -..iy.!.....# r@-.s
It's splendid exercise, beats Burnham'.
gymnasium, double trapeze and all
have mt got over it yet. ,|n.5I' A
An old lady then proposed that / shoulG
climb an apple tree to extricate her johnny
who had got his trousers involved in !
branch about thirty feet up, and was hun,
up ike sign of the golden fleece.
Told the old lady to wait till he got ripe
and he'd drop of his own accord ...
Old llady said Was brute, and hadn
got the feelings of mother. na.l
She went lor the man who kept th, Park
and sold lager. He brought lauder anc
restored the aspiring youth to the iond EN-
brace OF his maternal relative.
Whereupon she spanked him for tearing
his trousers.
| Which served him right.
| We then took dinner. ..t...-. ..,..
Pretty teacher spread her pocket hand
kerchief for table cloth and unpacked th
rations. Hu" au. sri ay{
The rations had got somewhat mixed.
The saidine box had busted and "strucl
lie. ~ The huckleberry pie had amalgama
ted with the pickle, and the cherries hac
4 resolved themselves into jam.
! But it was SO charming to eat your Dime
on the grass beneath the outrageous stad
Of the noble trees.
| So the pretty teacher observed as wa
squeezing lemons in dinner kettle to max
the festive beverage, which neither cheer
nor inebriates, but frequently stomach
aches. ,, g
was startled by piercing shrek fror
the pretty teacher, and | dropped hal
lemon partly squeezed and flew to the res
cue.
A ''horrid bug" descended from the um
brageous foliage previously mentioned all
had alighted on her alabastcr neck.
/ dispatched the creature and we proceed
ed to despatch our repast
But insect horrcrs had not ended
chronological specimens of many varie
ries intluded upon her ban quet; got invo
we'd in thepie, and met watery grave
the lemonade. L ........,.. ..lftlf .soL
Pretty teacher turned pale and lost he
appetite. F,gta rys.. rrYYgg
I grew desperate. As the reckless il
Esects wouldn't get out Of the way left thel
to their fate.
eat several indescribable specimens wit
my sandwiches, and drank spider in
glass of lemonade. --. 10
| survived it,
I don't know how it agreed with the sp
! der. ,a. a.
After dinner we resumed our festiy
sports. .1aANe&a " .a,aErrpa 81 ,r
We played Copenhagen, n HqyY3u
Which isa very hilarious sport Z.
1t consiats of chasing girls under q rope
tearing their clothes and kissing them.
The girls appear to like IT, ~ ~ ..,,
The dominic, who had been surveying oil
sports with benign satisfaction, proposed [
, improve the occasion in oratory. Irsh
Just as ht, was about to hold forth,
providential thunder shower extinguishe
him, and saved us the infiction. b, so-, 4
q We took refuge under o seyen-by-nir
y shed, wisely provided fer such contingel
c;ar and ,opasrfi Atx al tha refraah mani Yha N,