Pomeroy weekly telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy, Meigs County, Ohio) 1860-1866, 1865-07-27
LOVES LABOR LOST.

1t is now some two or three years since q
young gentleman entered the office of spe-
cial Agent of the Postoffice Department in
one of our large cities, and announced that
he had serious case of mail depreciation to
report which he would like to have investga-
ted Immediately. Being requested to give the
particulars of the matter, he produced from
his pocket letter addressed to himself, and
postmarkcd with the name of small town in
the State of Pennsylvania. The envelope
bore unmistakablc evidences of having been
opened and resealed, and the address was in
II lady's handwriting.
There, sir said he, carefully removing the
letter. and handing the envelope to the Agent
for inspection, that ere letters been robbed
by some postoiicc thief of twenty-six dollars.
Now | want you to catch him and put the
screws to him-give him ten years at the least.
don't care for the loss of the money Gt is
singular, by the way, how sublimely indffer-
cnt to pecuniary considerations most people
arc who prefer these compants,) but Id like
to see the rascal caught
Now, the Agent. having had considerable
previous experience in the investigation of
cases of 'riiling, was quite sensible that
very necessary preliminary to such investiga-
tons was a thorough knowledge of all the
circumstances connected with tie affair, and
after attentively examining the envelope,
which was literally daubed with mucilugc, he
observed:
well, sir, will make memorandum of
your statement, and if it proves to be u post
office thief, as you say -
If it does, sir? Why, who else can it be?
Isn't there the envelope to speak for itself
hasn't it evidently been torn open and gumm'd
up again! OF course it's a postoffice thief
any one can see that,
Probably, sir; but don't see it, just yet
Be good enough to i've me the name of the
writer of this letter.
The young man hesitated and at once his
manner became confused and nervous.
I'd rather not, if it's all the same, sir. It's
a young lady, and there are peculiar circum-
stan ,cs about the casc-and-in short, don t
want her name mixed up in it
But it will be absolutely necessary, in order
to make proper investigation, that should
know her name Without it cannot under
take to do anything in the matter
The gentleman still sought for some time to
avoid giving the name of his fair friend, but
at last announced it as Miss Emily Melville
Other questions followed as to the circumstanc-
cs which led to the enclosure of the money,
&c, to which the complainant answered in
an evasive shutting way-evidently striving
to conceal something of which he was Sc
cretly ashamed. Perceiving that the investi-
CATION was likely to make but slow progress
while conducted in this fashion, the Agent fin
ally observed:
MY friend, my time is too precious to waste
in drawing information from you with cork
screw; and you may as we'll make up your
mind either to give me clear and unreserved
account of this transaction, or to 60 elsewhere
with your grievance. Now please tell me
mhy Miss Melville sent you (or tried to send
you) this money?
TO pay for some broadcloth for cloak. =
Which you were to purchase for her?
'Yes-that is, which had purchased for
her
oh, see-the young lady was probably
here visiting, and being temporarily out OF
funds you gallantly forced her to accept a
loan-eh?
We'll, no. not exactly. The fact is, sent
the goods to her by express, at her request
And of course, she being an old friend -
No, not FREUD precisely
"A relative, then9
NO
'Ah, see-something nearer and dearer
We'll, yes,' said the youth, with sheepish
simper, and nervously swinging his hat by the
rim, as he gazed modestly on the Aoor--'we' re
lov-engaged, mean
Perhaps she forgot to enclose the money
, No, sir-Tve had letter from her since
and she s~ears-I mean she's certain-sht
put the money in
Perhaps, then, said the agent, striving tc
express his suggestion in the least offensive
language, perhaps she omitted to enclose it.
, Sir exclaimed the fond lover, reused b,
this insinuation, what do you mean? There
is no doubt whatever, sir, that the Young lad,
sent the money would stake my life, sir
on her honorr
'Oh, very well, sr-excuse memo offens,
. intended; IN sure But you know 1 haven't
the pleasure of the lady's acquaintance. B,