The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1865-07-26
A Question ana Answer.

In the correspondence column of
Noah's Times and Messenger, We find
the following question and answer:
QuEsTIoN.-Will Won favor me the
same way by advising me how to act
under the following circumstances, viz:
Is there any means by which lady
can ascertain u gentleman's intentions
who has paid her much attention and
seems to enjoy her society, at times
seeking it md then again avoiding it;
but am safe i'll saying TINT he likes
her conversations Should lady under
such circumstances, show preference?
tsomstimes l think that is what he de-
Sires, but cannot tell.) What line of
conduct would you advise? The lady in
question is naturally timid, and ap-
pears perhaps cold and Indifferent when
she IS not, but her opinion is that is
not the gentleman'S impression in this
case. Altogether she is perplexed, and
as a last resort she takes this method of
obtaining advice, preferring to do so
rather than to ask her Immediate
friends advice, as her pride is too great
TO let them suppose She cherishes an
unsought preference.
,- ANswER:--It is not exactly modest
for lady to make downright advances
towards the gentleman to whom, if
asked, she would be willing to give her
hand Such bold advances might, if he
were n man of cool Judgment, shock
his sense of propriety and awaken n
profound diStruSt i'll regard to the
soundness of her moral principles. And
yet a modest or sensitive man cannot
be expected to advance too far himself
in the same direction without some en-
eouragement. He cannot be expected
to wait until he is hopeleSsly enamored
of a lady without being fnvored with
some satisfactory evidence that his suit
is being favOrHhly received. It is not
difficult for a lady, however timid, to
inspire her admirer with sufficient con-
tidence without compromising herself,
and it is her duty to do so if she is real :
ly convinced that he is the person
whose union with her would insure
mutual happiness. If, as yOu suggest,
the gentleman in the particular case
referred to is aware of the lady's pre-
objection and hesitateS to declare him
self for other reasons. there are hnttwO
ways honorably open to her to ascer-
tain, as she should, his determination
The one way is to commence slight
Irritation with another gentleman; the
other way is to induce some. discreet
friend to address the dilatory admirer
on the subject, and persuade him thnt
lie is tritiing with the lady's pros
poets, if not her affections, by leav-
ing IAeI 'ulle III lue Nltrk as 10 ms ultl-
mate purpOSe-thAt he is doing her n
grievous wrong i'll preventing her from
receiving the attentions of others who
tcOHId be serious while his seriousness is
n matter of doubt. n lively lady could
soon, by a little verbal mannuvring,
when alone with her ndmirer, bring lfp
the subject of marriage and playfully
force him TO come to the point: hut n
timid woman, shrinking from such n
task, and unable to awaken his ical-
ter rely upon the services of n mutual
friend. If that fail to bring The gentle
man to confession, lie is 1; disscInbler,
dnngler, or selfish male 1lirt only
.dcsirous of pastime mt the lady's eX-
pense, and the sooner he is dismissed
the better.