Evansville daily journal. (Evansville, Ind.) 1863-1866, 1865-09-07


Wit and Wisdom.
He who adopts just thought psrtlci-
pates in the merit that or glaateo 'l II.
Tse higher an ass holds bis head the
palmer We can see bis ears. 81
II ia better to sleep with an empty
stomach than to lay awake with an &C
cusiDgl conscience =
Poverty ID bully If you are afraid Of
it, but is good natured enough if you
meet it Ike a man.
What did Lot do when his wife was
turned into q pillar Of sall2 Took
fresh one Of course.
Unricheous gain has destroyed mil
lions, but has never made one man per-
manentiy prosperous and happy.
Two hard things: First to talk of
yourself without being vain; second, to
talk Of others without SANDER.
The Oldest piece Of furniture is the
multiplication table. 1t was construct
ed more than a thousand years ago, and
it is now as good as new.
Parents,'' said q. Solemn lecturer,
you may have children Or, if not, yoar
daughters may have.
-Four thousand pounds of lobster meat
are put into cans daily at q certain es-
tablishment; this shows how much peo-,
pie can il they only will.
What is the difference between stab
bling man and killing hog7 One is
ASSEMBLING with intent to kill, and the
other 10 killing with intent to salt.
When man marries widow he is
bound to give up smoking and chewing.
If she gives,up her weeds for him, be
should, Of course, give up the weed for
her. -.,.r
An army surgeon in Arkansas tried to
hire young, barefooted, coatless ma
tive as an errand boy. The astonished
lad exclaimed, "Workl Why, j can't
work; I'm whiteT r7
A 1ourishing and estimable charitable
society in o neighboring city 10 called the
wood society. Butts IL possible that
there are many widows in that society
who wouldn't -
II
/ mourn for nay bleeding country"
said q certain army contractor to Cen
eral Sheridan. $50 you ought, you
scoundrel," replied Sheridan, "for mo-
body has bled her more than you have"
A toast at an Irish society's dinner at
Cincinnati: Here's TO the president Of
the society, Patrick 0'Raferty and may
he live to eat ths hen that scratches over
his grave"
II this world were for our abiding
place, we might complain that it makes
orr bed so hard; but it is only our night
quarters on q journey, and who can ex.
pect home comforssf
Augnst-the reaper cleaves his way
4 Through golden waves at break Of day;
4 Or on his wagon, piled vita corn,
At sunset home 10 proudly borne.
An old Yorkshireman being informed
BY betting acquaintance that " his
friend the captain" would oblgingly hold
the stakes, the canny Northerner replied:
SAY, ay, that's all very well, but who's /
hauld t captain2'
"The whole 10 greater than par"
| No such thing. / have known a few
leading editors in my time, and have
generally found that par" is deemed
OF considerable more importance than
the mpleteness of the whole"
An impatient boy waiting for the grist,
said to the miller, could eat the meal
as fast as the mill grinds IT, How
long could you do so2' inquired the mill
Ter Till / starved to death, was the
sarcastic reply.
CABLE Is.TIo.
The cable was Iong--ihe cable was strong
| And TO pay IL out they we're abls;s
But one u tie circu mai ancs turned out wrong
IL wasn'tpraeu cable.
An incompetent man is always glad in
public assembly to mention how able,
laborous, seif-denying is another incom-
petent man. He hopes to be repaid in
kind; and besides this, be is doing what
be can to lower the standard Of compe-
tence. 8 as
"Sir, one word" said soldier one day
to Fredrick the Great, when presenting
to him request for the brevet of lieu.
tenant. -" Ii you say two" answered
1 Tue hugi A II nave you hanged.
| Sign, replied the soldier. The king
stared, whistled and signed.
ave think man who goes out CT
| church because he cannot swallow the
sermon, affords q spectacle of entertain
| ment to his fellow-creatures. he who
can at all cheer the public mind in these
somber hours should be considered So
cial beneiactor; and to our minds there
is something exquisitely grotesque in
that impassioned procession Of one down
the aisle and out at the door"