The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1865-09-22

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hence we disclaim It as stolen thunder. Per-
ishing in ''the melancholy days." yet was IL
not in 1.-THE sere and yellow leaf" for her
leaves had fairness and freshness about them
that should have insured longer life. We
cherish her remains and form some Of them
into an in memoriam notice of the defunct.
The elements necessary for success in Amer
lean comic journalism have not yet been dis
covered. Mrs. Grundy forms another con-
cluded experiment 10 the long series of such
efforts. We make some final gleanings from
the last issue Here's something about
q Ashes on the Head A dolorons demon
stration of Grief with the Ancients, and not
inappropriate hence TO be quoted in connec-
tion with Mrs. G.'s demise:
The neatest idea in the way of Hair culture
that we have yet heard of, however is that
Sc. forth in the advertisements of "a Wonder
| ful Discovery from the Volcano Soil of
Sicily, positively guaranteed to promote the
rapid growth OF the Hair. There is a COW.
ert bit of satire in this announcement Com
mon ashes, IN this age of rampant fiagitious-
ness and turpitude, would have no more eff
\
than so much saw-dust We must butt our
heads against Mount 4Etna for our humilia-
ton, and go about covered with sackcloth
| and volcanic Soil Thank thee, 0 Hair
Doctorl for the large idea, which we think
exceedingly applicable to the head of Rail-
road Directors, Wall Street Spectators. Mu-
nicipal Authorities and other Criminals but
we must object to using g Volcanic Soil as
a top-dressing, ourself, on the manifest
ground that any application derived from such
a source would be almost certain to produce
an Eruption of the Scalp.
| Entering the Department of Pathology:
The Cynic says that, Judging from the great
efforts made by the Reporters for the Dailies
| to fill their City news columns. he should
think they would be frequently afflicted with
severe - Local pains.
! There is humorous satire in the description
of the City of Notions which she gives for
the benefit of those preparing Biographies !:
BosToS.-This is the principal City on the
| Western Continent. 1t is the seat of the
Fine Arts. Bellies Lettres, History. General
Literature, Architecture lin stone, and wood,
and iron, and concrete, and plaster ofparis, J
Patent Medicines, Friction Matches, and so
forth 1t manufactures Books for the Uni
|
| Universe from going barefooted All the In
ventive Talent Of the country resides In Bos-
ton and its vicinity. Daniel Pratt, the
Great American Traveller lives near Bos-
ton. The people of Boston are famous for
their Conversational powers, and even the
women know how talk! Although Boston is
said to be the Healtiest and the Wealthiest
City in the world yet people die there every
day. and they erect palaces for their Paupers.
Although Boston is the best governed, the
pleasantest, the cleanest. and the most re-
spectacle City in America. yet the Bsstonians
travel in crowds to New y ork, Philadelphia.
and New Jersey. Visit any part OF. the world,
and there you viii find a Observation-Disclosures
ing either for pleasure or for speculation.
Boston is famous for It's Cochituate Water.
brought to the City by means of an ingeni-
ously constructed avenue of iron prizes laid
under ground, and supplying its nidety-six
| thousand Inhabitants with suciency OF
aqua ritP tor ali reasonable purposes Ii is
also famous for its elegant Fountains. numer.
ously diversified throughout It's Common.
Public Garden, the Parks, and in front of the
State House; bat the economical habits of
| Its City Fathers are so rigidy enforced that
the fountains are seldom allowed to play, be-
cause they only 'raste the rategi
Boston also possesses many elegant Wharves
remote from the residences of its inhabitants.
But should a daring little boy venture to ex-
pose his nude figure to the opera glass gaze
of Inc inhabitants by INDUCING in bnth, he
is thereupon seized by the Police. hurried
before the Court, and fined Four Dollars and
costs
And this is Boston-the " Hub of the
Universe!
A REPrDrATioS.-A soldier of the county
who was delegate to the Montrose Conven-
ton, comes out with the following card in the
Pidiadeaier. 1t is addressed "to whom il
may concern
GREEN BAY. LEE Co, Iowa
September lS, 1864.
| was a delegate from Green Bay Town
ship, to what | was induced to believe under
false representations was SOLDIERS UNION
CONVENTION, at Montrose. Iowa. on Saturday
the 9th day of September, 1860.
Bat when ! reached there found that the
Convention was purely Copperhead affair,
engineered by such men as tombstone, Miller.
Clagett, Hedges 4 CO.. and soldiers were
used mere Stool Pigeons without any voice
IN the selection OF nominees the entire ticket
having been arranged BY the Copperhead
leaders IN advance | therefore repudiate
the action of that Convention, and shall sup
port the State and County Union nominees.
ALBERT H. Buck,
Late Private of Co. I. Both Iowa Unfit.
IT is satisfactory to us to be able to chron-
icle that Notwithstanding the enormous. and
we think, uncaled for advance that has char
acterlzed the Dry Goods markets for some
weeks past, that the New York Store. true 10
the business forethought of its conductor. has
secured large aud varied stock of Fall and
Winter Goods, which are now offered for sale
iu'ly twenty per cent under the current rates
ut New York at this hme 4 large lot of
muslins. purchased last May. selling consid-
erahy under New York prices Mr.. Gregg
assures us that as long as the present stock
holds he will not ''mark up any considera-
Die advance at all events, not before the 1st
of October
ioe remnants Delanes at 80 cts per yard,
ioV 2I9c q"
% Summer Dress Goods at 20 cts.
at Is cts.
A large stock of home and western Jeans.
'asslmeres, flannels and Blankets, at low
hsnres We particular attention to this
branch of business. Twelve dozen of late
styles OF Balmoral Skirts just received
=.