American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1865-01-04
WIN AND WISDOM.

CoNTAGIoUs-the Oil fever
CONE TO AN END-the year 1861
FINE FUN-sle'ghing with The girls
PRospERoUs-the public schools in
Butler,
NEARLY "pLAYED oUr"-the South
ern Coniederacy.
Why is a spider good correspondent
Because he drops a line by every post.
How did General Mcclellan take his
defeat? With resignation.
WHAT was Eve made for? Adam's
Express Company.
WATCHES are often stolen. Every
watch should be kept upon its guard.
A DEBTOR who cant pay is apt to run
away. Like the lightning, if he cant
fork, he bolts
CAN any civil engineer inform us how
it is that the nsouths Of rivers are lar
ger than their headS ?
AT dinner party in the country the
other day great sensation was caused by
gentleman dividing two ladies.
A YANKEE has invented machine for
extracting the lies from quack advertise:
ments. An invention much required.
MARRIED life often begins with rose
wood and ends with pine. Think of that,
my dears, before you furnish your rarlors.
a LATE DublnIaler contains the fol-
lowing advertisement -
d" 10 Let-Ihe upper part Of cellar,
to small family, rent low. Z. S, privi-
Iege ON the Sidewalk for pig"
SMITH asked jones what the high price
Of butter was owing to-
g a considerable part of it is owing to
my grocer" said Jones, for it Is two
months since han paid him."
AMONG the births inserted in the Lon
don Times the other Jay, mention Is made
Of Mrs. Pigg and Mrs. Hogg having
each presented Their lord and master with
Il son.
AYANKEE traveller. describing dough
nut OF unusually large proportions, which
he purchased IN BulIaio, says:
1T was one Of those stuI endCus
achievements Of art which aIe on,y at
tempted in he vlclnity VI The great woIks
rof Nature ike the Nmgra taiis'"
ARTEMUs WARD says:-"If l am
drafted will resign. Deeply grateful
for the unexpected honor thus conferred
upon me / shall feel Compelled to resign
the position in favor Of some worthy ler-
son. Modesty is what ais me. that's
what keeps me under"
A DOUBLE HEADED BULL-A farmer
was telling OF romai kabic calf with Two
heads: an lrishman inquired how large a
iull grown and very large.
"A JuH grown ca!t,," says Pat; " surely
now that must be GaH."
4 DISTINGUISHED actress was lately
introduced to lawyer III New Orleans,
who was not at all .ackward III sounding
his own praise
" lie is very smart man" an acqualn-
tance remarked soon afterwards.
Z" know it, she replied: he told me
himself"
SERGEANT WHITAKER, one Of he m st
eminent lawyers OF his day. was an &C.
centric. A friend, at one Of the assze
towns. offered him II bel, aud the next
morning asked him if he had found him
self comfortable and warm.
~ es, madam. replied the sergeant;
8 yes, pretty well on the whole. At first
felt little queer TOR want Of Mrs. Whit
aker; but recollecting that my portnan-
teau was in the room, threw 1t behind
my back, aud it did every bit as we'll. "
SPooNER was once arrested for drum
kcnness, aud wsxed indignant theleat:--
Spooner is loyal.
:" Now, axes" says he, if it's right
10 20 and arrest a map ior supporting the
Guv 'meut. Every drop of lIeker swal-
lows is taxed-taxed to support the war.
Spose all us iels was to stop drInkip 2
why, the wars d stop, and the Cav heDt'd
stop. That's the very reason drinks
don't like grog; | mortally hates it
If | iollored ay own inclination, / d rath-
er drink buttefailk, or giDger pop. or 10
da. But | lickers tui the good OF nAy
country, aud to set an example of loyaiy
and vlrtGous resignation to the iiFt1S
generation"
k Rss 80