The Iowa transcript. (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1858-1866, 1865-09-13
An Irish Recruiting Office. .En.
listing ~ Lawyer.

Well mind yarself now, for this is rs true
as the gospel, II was on the 18th of May,
1899, | listed recruit in Dublin. put the
questions to him. gave him the shilin, glory
be to God, and walked him to the barracks
~ fine asa fiddle. Well. behold We now,
few days after that he was claimed as a
prentice, SO he was had up before the Major
and he committed him for trial. Well. at
the following sizes, he was had up, and
was called as witness, and the lawyer that
defended him, tould me that did not list
him.
Il did saysI.
did ye put the question to him rightly"
says he.
81 did says 1.
by the vartuc of your oath now,' says
he, '.just ak me the questions, for | don't
believe you axed them
GLOW do you know that says l, '.for
by this and by that, you worn't by"
"None Of yer bizncss, says he; come
now, let us hear. Put the questions to me- =
says he, and he held out his hand, and ac-
cordingly pulled out a half crown, and
clapped it into his fist and then | up and
axed him the questions, and he said eyes,
TO all of them.
.Was these the questions you put to the
prisoner says he
.sThey wAg,' say |.
.sWell, here's yer half crown back for ye"
says he
Il can't take it, saysI.
'.Why not - says he.
"Why not ?" says |, '.snre, cant take it
bnck till ye 60 before magistrate, and pay
the smart money.
"You be hanged" says he. And he put
the money in his pocket, and | called to his
lordship on the bench for witness that
listed him. And oh. holy Biddy but there
was roar in the court Begorra, his lord
ship, the Judge, laughed till the tears run
down his face, and says he to the conn-
sellor:
Il am sorry for you, my good man, but
hope you get promotion soon"
Well, the decision of the court being in
my favor, axed the Judge If might take
away my new recruit. And they all roared
again, and the counsellor got as red as a
turkey cock, and as mad as u bull with the
collie But at last he made the best he could
of il, and paid up the ''smart money!" and
| picked up my hat to leave the court and
says to the counsellor, says =
'Don't list in the line next time, sir"
"What thin p says he snappishly.
"Oh, yer honor" says l, "stick to the
rifles that's more in your way"
Well, begorra, whin tould the story to
the major. thought he'd die, and when he
had done laughin, lie bid me keep the smart
money for myself.
PERHAPS the most restless being in the
world, is the man who needs to do nothing
but keep still. The old soldier fights all his
battles over again, and the retired merchant
II, |, -.
ventures, or comes uncasily down TO snuff the
air of traffic and feel the jar of wheels,
suppose there is nobody whose condition is
SO deplorable, 50 CHASTITY as his whose lot
many seem disposed to envy--a man at the
/ top of the word ease--crammcd to repletion
by what is called ..enjoyment;' ministered
to by every luxury--thc entire surface Of his
life 50 smooth with completeness that there
is not II iot to hang u hope on--so Obsequi-
onsy gratifed that he feels miserable. Cha
pm.
MRs. PETRoLEUM's LIBRARY.---A story is
told of certain Mrs. Petroleum, whose h,ls-
band had suddenly come into possession OF
a large fortune and had erected house to
correspond with the enlargement Of his
means. Mrs Petroleum had heard that il
was necessary to have library, and accor-
DINGHY sent to popular book house, ana or
dered one. A well assorted library OF
standard works, was sent up to her house.
The next day down comes the lady in tow
ering rage at their selection. '.Choicest
works, said she, as an explanation was Mt
tempted, ''Bother your choicest works; they
were all of different sizes and colors.
wanted them all to be in blue and gold to
match my furniture!'
DIsINrECTING AGENTs.-Common copper
as, which costs but three cents per pound, is
perhaps, one Of the most effective and eco.
nomcal disinfccting agents known. II two
pounds Of copperas be dissolved in ten quarts
Of water, and the solution poured into the
cutters sinks and cess-pools where filth ne
cessarily accumulates, its deodorizing power
will become speedily and convincingly ap-
parent.
THEY cure men Of drunkenness in Holland
by locking them up and mixing alcoholic
spirits with every article Of food or drink
the patient Graves. After u few days Of this
treatment the very smell Of alcohol becomes
so loathsome that he can never thencefortl
] endure it.