Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1865-11-30
Little or Nofhins..

A FRIEND at our elbow says there /, a
peice of road not two miles from here. 40
narrow that when two teams meet. thew have
both to get over the fence before either can
pass.
"WHAT makes the milk 30 warm?" said
our cook to the girl when she brought our
can iull to the door this morning
Please, mum, the pump. handle broke
and missus teok the water from the boiler"
MIR. D if you'll get my pants done
by Saturday, shall be forever Indebted to
you; IF that's ysur game they will not
be done, sure" said the tailor.
WnY cannot two slender persons ever be-
come great friends? Because they will al
ways be slight acquaintances. -
Why is a crow like Bird Because bs
never shows the white feather -
WHAT is the difference between a church
organist and the influenza? Ans. One
stops the nose, and the other knows the
stops
100 MUCH Of good thing" as the kit.
ten SAID when she fell into the milk pail.
WE have heard of asking for bread and
receiving a stone, but Young gentleman
may be considered as stiIl worse treated
when he asks for a young lady's hand and
gets her fathers foot.
WHEN the tongue is silent and dares not
speak, there may be look, a gesture. an
lnuendo, that stabs like the stiletto, and il
more fatal than the poison of the aspen.
The extension Of the boundaries Of vour
knowledge, unlike the extension of the
ooundaries OF your farm never narroys or
eeHunguishes the possessions of your neigh
THE rebel G. J. Faulkner. who v.s w.
Gently bitten by snake, is recovering from
lts enects' 1t was the snake that died"
REBEL Gen. Wade Hampton was elected
governor Of South Carolina the other day.
mat may be Unionism in South Carolina,
out we can't zee it in that light.
The rebel Gen. Ewell has been in pbila.
delphia, getting an artificial substitute for
the leg ne lost at Antietam. In his recon-
struction, he will stand on platform half
Yankee and half rebel.
WHAT letter in the alphabet compels 4
black TO laugh? The letter S, it makes nie-
ger Singer.
SLOW newspapers are sometimes printed
upon fast presses.
POLICE men, although their general
health is god, are much troubled vii 4 fslnns
on their hands.
HIGH IS the most powerful, the earth or
the sea? The sea of course, it has such a
heap Of muscles. =
IF yon want to be lionized go into the
wilds Of Africa.
An inveterate old bachelor says ships are
called she because they always keep man
on the lookout.
a SICK dog isn't generally strengthened
by course bark
TINE is money; of course it is, or how
could you spend an evening""
Billy, my boy, can't you eat little
more?' We'll, perhaps l could if l stood
up, mother"
WHY is the letter likely to prove dan
gerous in argument? Because it turns ,oords
into ssoordS.
LAST Sunday little Ike, three years and a
nall cid, went to church for the first time.
eH'S Aiu ptUUy 10 DuL IN The
contribution box, which Ee did, and sat
quiet for few moments, and then wanted
TO know how soon the man was coming with
the candy.
The man who makes business OF raising
pork for market may be said to live by his
pen.
IF you want to kindle the fame Of love in
a lady's breast you must spark her till she
is eager for match.
An Irish painter declares that among
other portraits, he has representation Of
Death as large as life.R
IT is stated that at Newark debating So
ciety, wheelright was by far the best
spokesman.
A BURNED child hates the fire, bat man
who has been singel by Cupid's torch al
ways has sneakiug kindness for the old
flame.
Why is hive like a spectator at show3
Because it is a bee-holder (Jeholder).