Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1865-02-18
Artemus ~ ard In Boston.

A letter from Artemus Ward to his
"dear Betsey," furnishes tha. pious wo>
man with information from "the Modern
Atkins which may interest some of our
readers. Artemus writes
The winder of my room commands a
exhilerat:n view of Copp's Hill, where
Cotton Mathor, the father of the Reform
ers aud sich, lies ber-ied There is men
eve n now who worship Cotton, and there
is wlmin who wear him next their hearts.
But DO not weep for him. He's bin ded
too lengthy. aint going to b. absurd,
like old Mr.. SkiI'ins in our neighborhood,
who is ninetyeix years Of age, and gets
drunk every lection day, and weeps Bit,
terly because he aint got no parents. He's
nice Orphan, he is. Bunker Hill is over
yonder in Charleston In ITS thrillin
dramy was acted out over there, in which
the "Warren Combination played sta.
parts. Old Mr.. flannel is ded, but his
Hall is still into full blast This is the
cradle in which the Goddess Of Liberty
was rocked, my Dear. The Goddess hasn' I
bin vesy well durin the past few years,
and the num'ris quack doctors she called
il didn't help her any, but the old gals
physicians now are men who understand
their business. Major generally speakin i,
and think the day is near when she will
be able to take her three meals day. and
sleep nights as conf bly, as in the olden
Tune. The Common is here as ushilI, and
the low cuss who called it Vacant Lot,
a"d wanted to know why they didn't orn-
ament it with some Bi'dins', is onhappy
Outcast in Naponsit The State House is
filed with state smen, but some of 'em
wear queer hats. They buy 'em, take it,
Of hatters who carry on hat stores down
stairs in Dock Square and whose hat is
either ten years ahead Of the prevailing
stiIe. or ten years behind it-jest as intel.
lectooal person Sees fit to think about it,
had the pleasure of talkin' with sevrl
mem bers of the legslatur. told EN- the
Eye of 1000 ages was onto we American
people Of to-day. They seemed deeply
impressed by the remark, and wanted to
know If had seen the Crate O.gin?
Harvard College This celebrated in.
sttution of learnin is pleasantly situated
in the Bar.room of Parker's, in School
street, ana has poopiIs from all over the
country. / went over to Lexington yes.
terdy. My Bosom hove with scllum emo
tons. L this said to man who was
drivin a yode OF oxen, "this is where our
revolutionary foreia,hers asserted their
Independence and split their Blud Cas
sic ground" Wall" the man said, its
good Tor white beans and potatoes, bat as
regards raisin' wheat, taint worth dam.
But have you seen the Crate Orgin?'
returned in the lIoss Cars, part way. A
pooty girl in spectacles sot near the, and
was telin' young man how much he re-
minded hes of a man she used to know in
Waltham. Pooty soon the young man
got out, aud smilin in seductive manner
| said to the girl in spec,acles, "Don't
remind you of somebody you used to
know 2 "Yes,' she said, "you do re-
nina me of one man, but be was sent ,o
the peniteu,iary for stealin' Bari O!
mackru--he died there, so l conclood
you amt him didn't pursoo the con
versation. only heard her silvery voice
once more durin' the remainder of the
jerney. Turnin' to a respectable lookin'
female of advanced summers, she asked
her if she had seen the Crate Origin. We
old chaps, my dear. air apt to forgit tha,
| it is sum time we was infants, ct lite food
Nothin of further int rist, took place or
the cars except colored gentleman. q
| total stranger to me, asked If I'd lend him
my diamond Breastpn to wear to "A funer
al in South Boston. told him wouldn'
not a purpuss Although fur from the
prahayries, there is abundants Of wild
game in Boston, such as quails, snipes
plover and Props. lmeant to have allud
ed to the Crate origin in this letter, but
haven't seen it. Mr. Reeveer, whose tav
ern stopped at, informs ms that it car
be distinctly heard through a smoked glass
in his nativ town in New Hampshire, any
clear day. But settin' the Crate Origin
aside land indeed, don't think heard il
| mentioned all the time was there, } Bos
ton is one of the grandest sure footed
clear headedest, comfortable cities on ,ht
globe. Onlike every other large city
was ever in. the most Of the hackmer
don't seem to have bin speshully intended
BY natur for the Burgery profession, and
it's about the only large city know o.
where you don't enjoy q brilliant opportu
nifty of sbein' swindled in sum way, from
the Risin Of the Sun to the goin' dow,
thereof. There ! say, loud and continued
| opn1anas FIR Rnston