The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-04-13
Content Amidst Difficulty.

Munchansen, who is met by Capt. Boil
Shorty:
Right behiHd him (the conservative
Kentucky chap came remarkable be
ing, attired in fragments of grey cloth
and prodigious thicket of whiskers
through the latter of which his eyes glar.
ed yellowly, like the bottles in an apothe
cary's shop, down the street. AS he ap.
preached nearer, he hastily put on pair
Of partially dissected white cotton gloves,
and casually re-arranged the strip of car
pet binding which served him as full
dress crayat.
"Yours, truly" said Captain Bob Shor-
ty.
"Vandal!" !" hissed Captain Munchausen
removing from his brow an unexampled
conglomeration of rags in the last stages
of cap, and handing it to faithful con-
traband who attended him.
"Why then" said Captain Bob Shorty,
dofing his own cap, and tucking up his
sleeves, Gin the name of the United States
of America, | propose to move upon your
works Immediately"
And now, my boy, do I particularly la
ment my lack of those unspeakable intel
lectual gifts, which enable the more re-
fined reporters of all our excellent and
moral daily journals to describe the fstic
achievements of the noted Arkansas mule
and celebrated Jersey Bantum in man
ner that delights every well conducted
breakfast table in the land, and furnishes
exquisite reading for private families.
Forward hoped Captain Bob Shorty,
as though on springs; his elbows neatly
squared, his fists held up like couple of
apples on sticks, and his head poised as
though it had just started to look round
corner With fists to match, and eyes
shining like the bottoms of glass bottles,
the wary Munchansen scuffles cautiously
back from him in a half circle. Now
they make skips toward each other; and
now they skip back. Anon an arm is
raised, and is parried and then they bal
ance to partners, and then they hop back.
was gazing at this, my boy, in speech
less admiration, when suddenly l saw the
dexter hand of Captain Bob Shorty pierce
the enemy's lines, and explode with tre-
mendous force on Munchusen's nose
For moment there was sound as of
Confederate blasphemy; but in moment
the chivalrick Munchausen was himself
again.
"Ah w said Captain Bob Shorty, agree
greeably, "did you see the Star-Spangled
Banner that time ?''
"Sir," said Munchausen, with tears in
his eyes, II am thankful that my nose is
not broken. 1t is blessing: for l had
nothing to smell with it, and only wasted
my strength in its special defence"
Here Captain Bob Shorty looked joyi-
ally at me, my boy, and says he; "By all
that's Federal, amt he jolly 2"
"Comc on to thy ruin p roared Nun
chausen from his rapidly increasing nose;
and again the battle ragged
Now did Captain Bob Shorty sidle to
the left, with view to fanking; but two
columns of the enemy met him there
Next the agile Munchausen attempts, by
a quick turn, to take him in the rear of
his position, but finds strong body of
five divisions hurled upon his headquart-
ers with an impetuosity that knock out
half his teeth.
cart satisfied, Horatio ?" said Captain
Bob Shorty, with more or less Bowery
theatre in his manner.
An awful smile appeared upon what
were left of the features Of Captain Nun
chausen. 1t was so full of scorn, you
know.
"Sir," said he, with much chivalry of
bearing and some difficulty Of utterance,
'my jaw may be broken, but [ thank fate
for it. It's long time since | had any
thing to eat with my mouth, and to de-
fend itat all was useless"
cha! ha ! hap roared Captain Bob
Shorty "I really never did see anything
so jolly"
"Madman !" yelled Munchausen, your
destruction is decided =
Then were all the skips and hops re-
peated, my boy; with such ornamental
bits of occasional fine art as the refined
reporters Of our excellent moral daily
| journals love to dwell fondly upon. Were
j | but such a reporter, would describe
the scene in a way to make you take it
home to your children. But let me not
waste time in lamentation; for just then,
something heavy fell upon the right eye
of captain Munchausen; and ehectually
closed it for week.
"Ahw said Captain Bob Shorty, pleas
antly, "did you count the stars upon our
Flag that time, my grayback Z"
"Sir," retorted Munchausen, stagger-
ing about, and wildly pulling handfulls
of imperceptible hair out of invincible
heads in the air-'I consider the loss of
that eye blessing in disguise, for | can
now concentrate my whole strength on
the other.
"Well, now, really" said Captain Bob
} Shorty-"really, you know, | never see
anything half SO Jolly" :,
: DETERMINATION is now your doom y
howled the Confederacy, reeling deliber-
ately forward upon the first fist he met,
and falling heavily to the ground with
his other eye emphatically darkened.
-, Gooto;n Roh GhorteV at