The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1865-09-23
VARIETY.

The power Of eloquence is q great one-next, per-
kaps, TO the power Of silence.
Why are cats like unskilful surgeons, Because
they mew-till late aud destroy patien(ce)ts.
whisky -drinker appreciates the truth that water
always Hat to him.
When does a noise in the kitchen remind you of the
month Of May! When it's the cook who sings
(cuckoo sings
"while We live let US live " seems to be thought
by good many to mean let gobble while
and guzzle while We drink.
A in Hampshire had the misfortune recently
TO lose his WIFE Over the grave he caused a
20 he placed which, In the depth of his grief he
had ordered to be inscribed Tears cannot restore
her. therefore | weep
An Irishman, being little fuddled, was asked
what his religious belief '' Is it me belafe
ye'd be asking about. It's the same as the Wildly
Brady. l owe her twelve shillings for whisky, and
she behaves III never pay her, aud faith, that's my
belafe. too
Nothing can prevent an increase of bachelorisrn
amendment in the code of educating women.
When they learn common sense, instead Of broken
French; when they learn some useful employment, in
stead OF beating the piano; when they learn TO prefer
honest industry to silly coxcombry and when men
End woman is n helpmate, instead Of burthen
then, and not till then, may expect to find fewer
bachelors.
SAYINGS CT JOSH BILLISGs-Iti iz highly important
that when a makes up hiz mind to bekum a
rssku, he should examine hzself clusly, and see If
he amt better constructed for a phOol.
Ii IS very delIkate Job tew forgive man without
lowering him IL his estimation and yures tew.
am poor. and glad that /; for / ind
that wealth makes more people mean than it does
generous
women's iuHcoence is powerful. espeshila when
she wants anything.
LASTLY am violently opposed to ardent sperits
bevriige, but for manufacturing purposes
think leetie of IL tastes very good.
When the old har,ihead Hartford began pitching
her cas- iron cards aboard BuchanaB's big ram, in
Mobile Bay. Lieutenant ID. observed quarter-gun-
ramming into one of the big PARROTS pair Of
flannel shirts top CT the charge :" HOllOa my
man." he hailed 80 what you sending away those
shirts for - % Why, you see. sir, they belong tc
Jack Deyoe. as was my shipmate Ill this ere ship,
fore the war. Jacks aboard that ere ram, and if
don't send 'em home he'll be comm aboard here in
aboGt half hour, and swear L meant to keep
EN-" Aye, aye, my lad; send home the shirts
Bang went the big Parrott. and away went the blue
shirts board the ram, followed by one hundred
pouuds OF iron
PROFESSION Not PRACTICE Some talk ike
angels. and pray with fervOr. and mediate with
deep recesses, and speak God with loving atfec-
tions, and words OF union, and adhere Him in
silent devotion, aud when they 60 abroad
passionate ever. peevish frightened hy yexing
themselves with their reflection they are, for all
their bargains, unmerciful TO their tenants, and
proud barbarian prince; they are, for all their
me words, impatient of reproof, scornful their
neIghbOrs, lovers Of money, supreme IN their
thoughts aud submit to nOne all their spiritual fancy
IS an lusIOn they still under the power OF those
passions, and their sin rules them imperiously, and
carries them away inialliby.-JeTemy Taylor.
YoUSG SaMso's IDEA OF FREEDoM.-Rather
amusing incident occurred in u neighboring county
few days since, during the march Of u column Of
United States troops. The negroes collected every
farm TO witness the passage Of the soldiers and IN
many instances greeted them with evident marks Of
pleasure Sitting upon a gate post, upon one Of
these farms, sharp little darkey just entering
his teens, shO, hen he told Of his freedom
clapped his hands and shouted for joy. Use free,
Tee free - he exclaimed ecstasy 10 his mamma,
- amt gwine rock de cradle more, case Use
free" Running 10 a younger sister, he impaired his
newly obtained intelligence. saying 4" You Is free
don't pick up more chips" And spying a cat
laZly stretching her limbs in the sunshine, he reach
ed the climax by screaming out, " And you's free,
pussy, don't ketch rats Whether the de-
lighted fellow went addressing the fowls, the cat
te the hogs We do know but the above is related
rs an actual occurrence-Ps -Pstsrs5uTg Express.