Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1865-11-02

HoRRIBLE.-Why is q clergyman, near
the end of sermon, like boy who has rent his IN
tegumentss Because he's torsd his clothes. Truly
horriblel
STYLISH REsIDENoE.-"f live in my
eharmer's eyes," said fop to Colman.
:" don't wonder at it," said George, " for OBJ
served she had sty in them when I saw her last"
A RIVAL OF washington. Queen Vic
toria has now eight grandchildren six Of whom are
boys. She may now literally be called the "Mother
OF her Country.
REPARTEE. - Two old New England
ministers were riding by the galows, when the
elder one asked the other Where. would you be If
that tree bore its proper fruitI"
''Riding alone, SIR was the immediate reply.
Fun FOR THE HoRsE.--~A stray contra
band from down South, lately inspecting
horsepower In operation, when he broke out thus:
"Mister, has seen heap OBJ tings in my life, but
neber before saw anything where horse could do
his own work, and ride hisself too
CHICAGO MfLx.-A wag met milkman
the other day, and says he;
Willis, you ought to shingle them cows Of
yours"
What fort"
"To keep the water from running into the milk
was the reply.
Two KINDS OF EgGs--The New Bedford
Mercury tells story of gentleman who, being at
breakfast in hotel In neighboriug city asked the
waiter for boiled eggs.
We have no eggs" was the reply.
'Bnt notice an omslette on the table" said the
gentleman.
"ohi yes we have eggs to make omeIst es but
not the kind for boiling" said thu waiter.
Poor FELLOW After marriage GER
emory had been performed in one Of the chln ches
In Adrian, Mich, the bride when receiving me con-
CALCULATIONS Of her friends, shed tears according 10
the established ridcu lous custom; at ths slgnt
Of which the groom followed suit with copious
flow of the brfny fluid. After his friends bad sue
ceeded in calming hIo, he said he couldn't heip u
for he felt as bad about it as shs did
MIxED.-A young but prudent mother,
on the occasion of making her little boy his first
nar Of trousers conceived the idea that 1t would be
more economical to make them Of the same dimen-
sons bind as before so that they n light be chang
ed about and wear evenly, and so she fashioned
them. Their effect when donned by the little VIC
tim, was ludierous IL the extreme. Papa, at first
sight Of the baggy garments $50 fcarfnlly ard won
derfuliy made" burst into roar Of laughter, and
exclaimed: sob, my dear, bow coulc you have the
heart to do TT Why, the poor little fellow won't
know whether be is going to school or coming
homep
AN AMUSING IscIDEET.-The Chicago
Tins Is responsible for the following item Of ct1
rent news: :" young lady crossing Clark street
near the Sherman House, lost her jockey Ia gale
Of wind. The article blew along the street, passing
several young men, who feigned not to see III prob
ably from the muddy boots picking II up and polite
ly restoring 1t to its owner would involve. At
length 1t was discovered by sagacious and gallant
canine which rushed after II and soon secured the
flying bonnet. Taking 1t ia bis mouth, the dog,
fine Newfoundland, restored II TO its fair owner
much to the shagrin Of the handles on the walk
They just the class to take lessons from dog"