Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1865-01-28
HALF A LIFE.
BY DAISY HOWARD.

Ny husband was more devoted
than ever my lover had been. He seemed
never happy save in my presence; hurrying
home at night so that he might not loose an
hour of the pleasant evening.
Six months passed away ere a cloud APP
peared in my sunny sky, then there came a
change. Ny husband was the same, and yet
not the same-the same passionate tender
ness, the same stormy way of showing his
love, but mingled with sudden, fitful changes
of temper foreign to his own nature; at one
moment multiplying kisses upon my lips and
eyes, the next striding modify off without a
word of explanation. This, with mysterious
absences from home every few weeks, Ocea-
stoned me some anxiety; but not yet was the
full mnasure of my trust to be broken, for
trusted Paul as did the angels. Business
calls me away" he said, and l grew more
tender after each absence, for / feared his
affairs were becoming embarrassed, and
fearing to grive me, he was trying to con-
eeal it
Oh, those golden, happy years! Looking
across, 1t seems but yesterday; and yet the
grass and flowers of eight and thirty summers
are sown between the "then and now" Paul
was still good and kind; prodigal of caresses
and tender pet names, and his great dark
eyes grew heavy with tenderness, as he
pressed me to his heart.
| should have been very happy with all
this tenderness of Paul's; with my pleasant
home, and the little baby that came by and
by TO help halve the love l bear for him.
But was not for with all my wild love for
Paul, with all my tenderness for my baby,
there was Tantalus fear in my heart-a
dread of some coming calamity. l scarcely
knew when l ceased 10 be happy and learned
70 be sad. Something impalpable grew up
between us-nOt GOODNESS, not carelessness-
simply that we were far drifting apart.
In the spring, Paul had business that called
him to Philadelphia. He was gone from us
two months. IL seemed like an eternity
thought l should have sorrowed my soul
out during those long weeks, or grown blind
watching down the lane.
He had been i'll, he said, and lost heavily
by unfortunate speculation. That was all /;
no explanation of his mysterious absence, no
word of regret at my loneliness, no tender
ness for baby. The gulf between US widened,
till even hope could not bridge it over.
1t was in October, when the crimson maple
and golden tassels of the shumac made my
forest home so gorgeous, when the know
ledge came to me that Paul was learning to
love the red wine. l denied it fiercely when
my mother first told me it was whispered
about. l turned boldly away, refusing to lis
ten further; Paul, my husband and baby 5
father, was dearer to me than the mother
that bore me.
A few week of restlessness, of watching
and prayer, then / knew that my idol had
fallen.
could not give him up. / besieged
heaven with prayers that he might be saved
from that fearful fate; that baby might be
,ro~oI ba nf Saaiurr No. -
speet and love die out, and be powerless TO
save il.
The fatal habit grew upon him, coming at
intervals of two and three months, ike some
blasting simeon, bringing anguish and desc.
latiOn in its track. When reason would again
resume her sway he would mourn over his
sin, and weep in bitterness of soul.
Paul was as yet no vulgar drunkard, reel
ing home night after night, making his home
hideous with his presence. Months went by
during which the fatal cup never passed his
lips, and once, a whole year. Baby had long
passed into Master Willie, and baby brother
held his old place. They were fine boys
handsome and brave, and thought, as year:
went on, how they would reclaim their father
There came time when only weeks elapsed
between his seasons of sin ; times when
could no longer conceal from the villagers the
extent of his degradation. As yet had beer
able % keep it from my boys, by teaching
them at home, and not letting them mix witt
the village children. But Willie was verl
bright child; and what with my cares anC
sOrrows, my mind was not in a fit state Il
teach him longer, so with many prayers sen
him from me TO a school at the extreme enS
of the village. He did not like it much, anC
begged so hard for Eddie to go with him tina
! consented.
was very lonely without my boys, feeling
my sorrow with keener anguish as | sat al
the beautiful summer afternoon, humming an
old song to try to keep from thinking, wher
q light wagon drew up at the gate, and moth
er and my sister Letitie came up the path.
flung myself upon my mothers breast and
kissed her again and again, and then wen
about getting tea, so happy at having the ole
home faces around me once more had for
gotten all about Paul, when suddenly ht
came staggering up the walk and in the door
taking no notice of mother and Letitie, but
passing into his bedroom, where he was soor
in heavy slumber. / closed the door softly
behind him, and then turned to meet mother
and Lettie as best | could Mother sat be
fore the window weeping; Lettie was walk
ing nervouSly up and down the kitchen floor
Mother, you should not permit Marah tC
live with Paul Raynor; it is lowering hersel
and encouraging him."
Hush, Lettie, you confuse me, child
Marah feels il to be her duty. 1 dare not
advise her for better, for worse Lettie
for better, for worse.'"
Duty Mother it is useless to prate of du
ty in a case like this. do not think a wo
man has right to bear with drunken hus
band year after year-bear ali his abuse, al
his"
Paul never abuses me, Lettie," | said
meeting her flashing eye indigna atty.
sit is rather questionable about the abuse
Marah. There are different ways in which a
man can abuse his wife. It's my terry to me
how you, with your proud spirit, can still
love such man."
at is not the husband of to-day I love,
Lettie, but the man who eight years ago won
my heart l am looking down through the
darkness Of these years to a scene beyond
them, when Paul first told me he loved. This
keeps me strong; and then, Lettie, must do
all / can for the father Of my boys"
Lettie flung her arms round my neck and
kissed me, and then turned to mother.
"Come, mother, let US CO."
They went slowly down the path; Lettie,
with her proud, quick step, and mother, poor
mother looking back at me every moment.
II was almost time for the children to come
from school, and they must not find me with
shadow on my face. They came a half hour
later, my passionate little Eddie sobbing as
II MS little heart would break, and Willie
trying to comfort him.
What is the matter, Eddie ?"
n = = l..