American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1865-02-22
Wit AND WISDOM,


Why is cows tail like swans bo-
som? Because it grows down.
Why are widows Ike smokers? Be
cause they often find solacein their weeds.
Why do hens always lay in the day
time? Because at night they become
ROSTERS
"A down. east editor declares that mod
esty is a quality that highly adorns wo-
man, but ruins a man.
What is the difference between per-
son transfxed with amazement and leop-
ard 8 tail? The one is rooted to the spot,
the other spotted to the root.
- Gardening for ladies'" is all very
we'll, but the dears are more inclined TO
agriculture than horticulture on account
of partiaIity for husuandry.
=" You have only yourself to please y
said married friend to an old bachelor
True" replied he, but you can not
tell what difficult task | find it."
-" Husband, must have some change
TO day" "Well, stay at home and take
care of the children; that will be change
enough any how
F" | am like Balaam," said a dandy, on
meeting pretty girl in narrow passage.
- stopped by an angel" g" So am |" said
she, " for am accostcd by an ass
The Richmond EcamiRer says jeff
Davis is " carrying the Conlederacy to
pcrdition and the devil" May he have
smooth seas and favorable gales
-" All bittcrs have heating tendency
or effect, said doctor to young lady
= You will except bitter cold morning,
won't you, doctor ?" inquired the lady.
:" That'sa pretty bird, Grandma" said
a little boy Yes, replied the old dame.
and it never cries" " That's because
he 5 never washed y lejoincd the youngs-
ter.
One day, at a farmhouse, wag saw
an old gobbler trying to eat the strings Of
some nightca that lay on the grass to
bleacu. That" sad he, Is what call
an attempt to introduce cotton into turkey"
"A General on the point of death
opening his eyes and seeing consultation
of three physicians who were standing
elise by his bedside, family exclaimed ::
Gent emen, if you fire BY p!atoons, it is
all over with me"
AN ODD MIsTAKE-A lady asked a
pupil at "a public schools, What was the
sins of the Pharisees ?" 9 Eating cam
els, marin, quickly replied the child
She had read that the Pharisees strain
ed at gnats and swallowed eamels.
- Bill, did you ever 90 to sea" i
.uess did. Last year, for instance, |
went to see red headed girl, but | only
went once" Why SOL" +" Because her
b. other had an unpleasant way of throw
n, boot-jacks and ,moothng irons at peo-
pie"
A regular physician being sent for
by quack, expressed his surprise at be,
ing called in on occasion SO apparently
r.fltng Not so tnfing, neither" re.
/. Piled the quack for totell you the truth
[ have, by mistake, taken some of my own
pills"
An editor attempts TO explain to hi:
readers the condition of affairs at his es
adjustment, by the following lucid typo
graphical effort;
The Printers ale on A Strike 10
hi5her Yates. Me Have concluded Il
SIT = own y pos in tut uie! 1t
EASY anOush.
A minikin three feet and a bal
colonel, being one day at drill, was exam
ming strapper OF SIX feet four
Come, fellow, hold up your head, =
higher. fellow"
: Yes, sir.
n Higher, fellow-hishcr."
+ " hat, SO, sir Z" said ,he man, ralsinI
i his head much above the horizontal pa'
alel.
G Yes, fellow
; And am always to remain SO, sir !!
Yes, fellow, to be sure
fl why. then, good-by4 colonel, for
!, shall never bee yoa again"