Evansville daily journal. (Evansville, Ind.) 1863-1866, 1865-08-18
sFFTIMRNrAL AND FUNNY

~ >" I;ttle fellow replied, Because
sSev did not have gold enough to make
q COW.
I In one of our courts, lately, man
Who was called upon to appear as a wit
ness could not be found. On the Judge
asking where he was, an elderly gentle
man rose up and with much emphasis
said, Your Honor, he's gore" Gone,
gonel" said the judge; where is. ne
gomez" "That l cannot inform you,
replied the communicative gentleman,
bat he's dead" This il considered
the most guarded answer on record.
On the morning Of the Presidents
death, the. following conversation was
overheared between g couple of boys
about nine or ten years of age who were
waking down State Street, New Haveni
Charley, news has come that Presi.
dent Lincoln has been killed.
- Do you believe it's true|
h aYes it's Official"
What does official meant
Why don't you know II means
thdt IL didn' come from Philadelphia. "
Barnum was travelling once on board
Of one Of the river steamers, where they
feed you for q moderate outlay (seventy-
Eve cents meaD very sumptuously, bni
the portious supplied are usually Of mi
croscopic Dimensions. He called at tea
time for beef.stake. The negro brought
him the usual little, shriveled mite Of
broiled flesh, certainly not sufficient for
more than two mouthfuls. Barnum
poised the morsel on his fork, scanned Il
critically as though it we're a sample Of
stake submitted to his inspection, and
then returned it to the waiter, saying
"Yes, that's what / mean. Bring me
aome of that.
There appears to be q young Grant,
son of the Lieutenant General, who has
high appreciation Of the merits of his
father, and an estimate that is not reduc.
cd By shrinking modesty of thu conse-
Quence of the family. In substantia-
ton of this, we quote from the Quebec
correspondence of the Boston Advcr
tiser:
".The people at the Wsterville station
we're so intently employed in staring al
the General, that they forgot all about
cheering until little Jesse Grant-the pei
Of The family-who was standing behind
bis father on the platform, flung his hai
up and screamed out in his shrill, child
ish voice: Three cheers for General
Grant and family This loosed the
tongues of the people, and the cheers
were heartily given
The NEGRO WHO WOULD NOT FIGHT.-
That the negro can sometimes say Q
shrewd thing, is unquestionable. / have
been told of an intelligent contraband
who, escaping from Dixie into the land
of Abraham, was pressed by q white pa
triot to enter into the military service oil
the North, but manifested an unaccount'
able reluctance to shoulder a musket
why don't you enlist, Ginger2" asked
the white patriot. Well, mas'r," re
piled the contraband, did y ever see
two dogs fghtin' for a bone?" 81" Ger
tainly, Ginger" Wall, did n erer see
The ,boae fohtf'' "Not l." "Wall,
mas T. you 6 both fghtin', an Gin.
ger q de bone, an he q not gwine to
tight in this hyar dificulmty. "-SalG'
Diary IN AmertcG.
Size or NO ACCOUNT "A gifted Afri
can Of the boot-black persuasion, while
dancing like 81. Vitus over q customers
boots the other day, observed his part
| ner porting very wisely over a newspaper
whereupon the following colloquy en-.
sued: ~ s.~vs rrr-r.~ wr-f
Fret member of the firm -" Julius
what you looking at that paper for3 you
can't read"
Second member-"Go way fellah;
guess / can read; Use big enough for
dat"
First member" Dat amt muffin. A
caw's big enough to catch a mice, but
she cant do it."
They have good many people uE
at. La Crosse, in Wisconsin. Of course
the gentle wives and loving mothers ell
teach their pratlers the shorter, if not
hlonger. catechism. Here's the way
"Brick" Pomeroy says one of them put
her urchin through the other day:
/ Another in this city has taught her
little boy TO answer several questions,
such As "Who made your" "Who edits
the La Crosse DensocrdtT' "Who is
President Of the United StatesT &C.,
&C., on to the end Of the catechism.
Last night she was before company put
ting the little fellow through his men
iAl exercise, when she asked:
"Who made your"
"'Brick' Pomeroyl'
The laugh came in with a lively rel
ish, in no wise lessened when in re-
Spouse to-
"Who edits the La Crosse Demoeratf'
be shouted out
"God" 6.
D "Brick" thinks the little chap wss mis-.
| taken.