The weekly Ottumwa courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1857-1872, 1865-08-17
How Tom Corwin Rid His Sister of
an Obnoxious Lover. ol -..L-t

| an Obnoxious Lover. :" A-''''
Every one has hoard Of the ELOQUENT, pa
thetic and humorous stump orator of Ohio
He was pronounced by Mr. Clay "a mos
competent authority to be the finest STUMP
speaker he had ever heard; and in thi.
opinion most heartily coincide, after hav.
ing heard Clay, Crittenden, Jones, of Ten.
nessee, Polk, Benjamin, Soule, Randall
Hunt, Tom. Marshall, General Lamar
Bates, Douglas, and host of Others .
| Well, this great orator carried his love OF
fun into every department of life. In ths
private circle, where he knew every per
son, and where he eunbosomed himself fully
he was the most delightful conversations
alist ever listened to. I do not know that
he now, as age and infirmities are creeping
on, indulges this proclivity to humor as
much as he used to do. But some twenty
years ago, he used to tell, with great g,isto,
the following story: 'f2s'a't y ha
In early life-so early that cannot re-
member the remOval-my father "pulletl
up stakes,' and, carrying with him the
household goods, went from Bourbon CO.,
KY, where was born, to Ohio. Notwith-
standing rough and tumble struggle with
the world, had hard time to get on, ow-
ing to a numerous and rapidly increasing
family. Well, family matters had not much
improved when I had reached my thir-
teenth or fourteenth year. '.'....' '..
At this time there lived in the neighbor-
hood young man by the name Of Picker
ing. He had inherited well-stocked farm,
was good looking, and made strong pro-
fession of religion. This latter qualifica-
ton caused him to find peculiar favor i'm the
eyes of my father, who was always blinded
by professions Of extra piety.
This fellow had a strong hankering after
one Of my sisters, who was very pretty
girl. To her he was peculiarly distasteful.
She seemed always annoyed at his pres
ence. Yet he was ever at her side. She
dared not dismiss him entirely, for fear of
the paternal anger. Things went on this
way a year or two, and AS partook large
ly of my sisters hatred to him, I resolved
to got rid of him in some way. 1 cast
about for n plan for some time, but nothing
occurred which gave me the slightest hope
of being successful.
At last, returning home late one summer
night from mill, found the family at their
nightly devotions. Passing by the win
dows Of the room in which they were as
sembled, saw that Pickering was there
and pretty soon discovered that he was
nodding, and, finally, his head dropped.-
Now was my opportunity. I stole slyly
into the hall. and reaching the hall door,
which was slightly ajar, and close by which
Pickering was son ben led knee, ;" reached
in. and, quickly pulling the chair from un-
der, he rolled heavily, as n sound sleeper
would. upon the floor. The noise alarmed
oil. The old gentleman stopped in the
midst of his almost interminabe PRAYER.
and saw the position of Pickering. All
the family laughed outright; even my
mother smiled. ".. H. -a. H.3E
Pickering sndeevored to pick himself up
as rapidly as possible, but he had touched
the old man upon his tenderest poirt. 1t
was evident, from his rubbing his eyes.
that he had slept under the old mans min
istrations; and had not my father repu-
tation, far and Wide, for the fervsncy and
strength of his mnistrations, and was not
Pickering his professed brother? Slowly.
vet most dignitiedly, did the old man ap-
proach him, "Begone, hypocriter' ho cried
in laundering tones. Never enter my
house againv' #... #. s.....t.. .r
Pickering was thunderstruck. He felt
that he could make no apology which
would not add to insult. lie had no sus-
picion of the extra force which had aided
him in his fall. He at once found his hat.
took up his line of march. and, completely
crestfallen, passed by mo as stood grim
ming in the shadow of the porch. .f .ua
At a suitable time entered. got my sup
per, was told by a brother i'm hurried whis-
pers what had happened, and then stole
off to bed affecting ignorance and laugh
ing most heartily. as l ensconced myself
in the sheets, at the complete success of my
plan. ... .aea ......... ..... a.f. ... ..f.-
Next day cautiously impaired my Sc
cret to my sister. Shewas in her own room
ut the time, and she threw herself upon the
upon the bed and rolled i'm agoniss and
convulsions of laughter. Sho had been
emancipated for ever from the obnoxious
lover. The old gentleman did not hear the
real state Of the facts for full twenty wears
afterwards, but when he did he laughed
heartily H....... ...#r. ..... ..f,