Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1865-10-13
0bto Statesrlarr,
THE FIRST LOVE AND THE
W,ASH

tire of listening to any more than we do
seeing the buds swell, and the leaves M
folding, and the world made young again
by the coming of the spring-the story, to
which as we listen our own youth comes
back and once more the flowers bloom, and
the skies are blue, and our hearts are beat
ing joyously, and it is May.
am not young now, neither is the day
on which am soberly writing this letter rec
ord OF long past period balmy one OF
spring, or anything like 1t, and yet May
comes freshly back to me as recall the day
of which l am going tospeak.
A lark was singing far up the blue sky,
few sheep were pasturing in the green
distance, and tall figure dressed in gray,
with gun on his arm, and one or two dogs
frisking round him, was coming leisurely
along the sea wall. had been fully intent
but the minute before, upon the sketch Of
the old boat was making; but now felt
nothing but the beating of my heart, and
saw nothing but Mark Sutherland coming
leisurely along the sea wall, with his dog
playing around him.
The little picture was never finished, for
at the instant that became conscious of
the advancing figure, dropped my
brush, and hopelessly ruined my distance
by a great smear of vandyke brown. 1t
and mean that it shall be laid beside me
In my coffin.
He was long way off when first saw
him, and yet it seemed almost the next in-
slant that he was standing beside me speak
ing. My heart had not lett off beating, and
could feel the color hot in my face as
looked up, but my fiery little terrier took
exception, to his dogs, a.d flew at them
with tumultuous disapproval, taking his
attention off me for the moment. ....
When this little .trdcdS was quieted, he
put down his gun on the bank, made his
retrieves lie beside it, and sat down himself
by me.
way of saying something--anything.
NO" he answered; "but | don't COM
plain; didn't expect any. | came out
here because thought | should see you,
and wanted to tell you piece of news
and ask yOua u question"
He did not seem to be attending to what
said; he had taken up one of my sable
brushes and was absently playing with it,
but he threw it down the next minute, and
said softly:
"Hester, have got an appointment that
have been trying for, and shall leave for
India next month-there's my news"
My heart, that had been beating so wild
ly, seemed to stand suddenly still, and drop
.down-down. The water and the green
marsh rocked, blended haZily into each 9TH
er and the sky; and then voice that
sounded dim and far off, but was my
own, too, said, sit is good news, L sup
poseY
"Good news! Well, yes, I hope so."
He stopped a minute here. His voice
was very deep one, for he was large,
full chested man; but when he spoke
again it had soft undertone in it that
used to ring in my ears afterward-it does
now. ..
II thought it good news this morning,
for without it could not think of wife.
That troubled me little enough till lately
till, all till L knew you, Hester. My
dear, think you have guessed my ques-
tion."
Guessed it All! yes. But my face was
down upon my hands; he could not hear
the cry that was sitting in my heart and he
went on gently, piteously--
"ButI shall not get an answer to 1t SO.
Well then, Hester will you marry me?' Will
you 90 with me to Inda?" .,. -...
did not answer-Icould not. All! those
who have had deliberately to kill their own
happiness, to raise up themselves the bar
rier that shuts themselves out from hope,
ard love and life, will know how hard it is
will pity me.
"Wilf you be my wife, and go with me to
India?'' a.. ...r .-. -....-..
81 cannot" And no wonder that he
made sudden movement OF surprise, for l
myself wondered to hear the hoarse passion
of my own voice.
'You cannot! What fool I have been,
then. / thought hoped-Hester, is it
possible that you have been thinking all
this time?"
Know what he had been thinking about?
All the light and life, and joy of those
moments when / had dared to hope that
did. All the anguish of feeling that they
had all been in vain!
Look at me, Hester. l don't think
understand you, my DEAR" he said patient
ly and gently. "You say you cannot be
my wife,and yet Tell me you cannot love
me, and am answered at once"
He put his arm over my shoulders as |
leaned forward, with my face buried in my
lap, and whispered
II think you do love me, Hester"
"Oh, do, Mark, / dow cried, lifting
my head; "but l cannot marry you'll shall
have to give you up"
'Give me up, my dearlove" and he held
me closer.
~ cannot 90 to India"
w uN uOb dlu lOOhOu uull dhidAOei,
half amused.
could not bear the glance of his kind
dark eyes; shrank away from his arm,
and said:
ID II cannot leave Milly." so. .,-
To my own thinking, had pronounced
our doom now; but Mark Sutherland only
laughed, and said: toa5t
"Well, then, you shall not; Miss Milly
shall go too" lo
"Ah! if that could only be; but Milly
would die i'm India. We came home be-
cause the climete was killing her.
"And you will not leave her?"
81 promised mamma, before she died, that
l never would; that if married it should
not separate us; that my home should be
Milly's till she did not need it, answered,
faltering under something in the look of
his face that was new to me. Up to this
time had been thinking of myself; now 1
was reminded that was giving pain to
him.
He was silent two or three minutes, look
ing away into the distance; he had taken
his hand from nv shoulder. Wlt
). ..Well, Hester" said he, presently, grave
ly, not unklndly-but ahl as it seemed to
me, very coldly-"you have simply to
choose between your sister and myself
You are best able to judge of your sisters
claims upon, you; of my own, l will only
say that love you. never thought nor
cared much tor, women till saw you, so l
am not likely to change my liking ortO for
get it; and If you had married me But
will not try and plead my cause against
YOUR sisters. It is for you to decide and