davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1865-07-04
A Funny Court Scene.
Prom the Dubuque Times.


A funny scene, and one not altogeth-
er in accordance with that chapter of
of the code regulating the duties of
Justices of the peace, was presented in
a Justices Court not ten miles from
Dubuque, the other day.
Aman was brought before the Squire
to be tried for assault and battery
Now, be it rem embered that the said
Squire has an ~ dent love for the ''cray
thur" and when his "love" is indulged
to any great extent, he is outspoken,
and betrays the ''leanings" in the trial
Of case.
Well, rs the principal witness for the
prosecution was called in the above tri-
al. He proceeded to tell his story
II was going along the street," said he,
"and l saw the plaintiff standing near
the curb-stone. The defendant came
up to him, looked at him a second, and
then struck him q square blow, and
knocked him over. f
"Bully for him! Bully for him 7"
shouted the Justice, in evident delight.
"That's what l like to see, square
blow"
The counsel and spectators were
amazed, and set looking at the delight
ed Justice like statues; then three or
four of them burst into hearty laugh.
"Order in the court, "cried the Squire.
This court must be respected in a
proper manner. Proceed with your
case. gentlemen"
Well, but your HONOR" said the
counsel for the prosecution. I'D like
to know what kind of proceeding this
is. How can we try this case under
such circumstances. Your honor
show
"Order in the court" roared the
squire. "Gentlemen, proceed with your
case. Tgad, it was a square blow he
struck him !" he continued, ending the
sentence in hearty laugh.
Of course the prosecution "restcd"
here, and well they might. TIE "square
blow" had settled their hash in the
court. The defence offered their tes-
timony, and the Justice dismissed the
case.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1865-07-04

Many of these people have seen bet
ter days, as their appearance plainly
indicates. They are ten to one females,
plainly, but tidiIy dressed, wearing
bonnets of most antique patterns and
homespun of their own make. a few
have been able to buy cheap calico,
and if young and homely are apt to
have a hat of more modern fashion,
which, however, would appear sadly
out of date in Broadway or at Sarato-
ga. The habit of dipping snuff is al
most universal among the North Car
olina aud Georgia females, and great
many chew tobacco. You will see
otherwise good-looking women expec-
torating freely from car-windows, along
the street, or as you pass them on the
road. Each woman, or girl, carries q
stick in her mouth, which projects like
a miniature powsprit from three to six
inches which they continually roll as a
sweet morsel from side to side. The
habit disfigures the mouth, and gives
a masculine appearance to the lips and
teeth, which are not unfrequently stain
cd with liquid tobacco and snuff. La
dies of refinement arc not addicted to
this unscemly habitat least they do
not practice it m public.
Among the next Yankee innovations,
consequent upon restoration of peace
and good neighborhood, you may lool,
for the speedy organization of anti
snulf.dipping and anti-fcmale tobacco
chewing societies. Yesterday noticed
a group of young women sitting around
the door of a store in Fayetteville
street. A soldier was sitting and chat
ting with the party. As ! passed ]
saw him take out his paper of fine cut
and take chew. One of the young
women sitting near him, with glance
which said "plcasc give me a chaw OF
tobacco" extended her right hand to
take the package, at the same instant,
with the left discharged an old quid OF
huge proportions from her mouth
She deposited a wad Of the weed be-
tween her pretty lips, returned the pa
per and nodded "thank you" just as
if she had done the same thing before.
All our suffers and Yankee traders
keep "yallcr snuff on hand as sta
pie article. The extent of the trade in
this article, which is not stuffed up the
nose, but eaten by the fair sex of this
country, would surprise every one, il
the figures could be correctly given
About five hundred barrels of the ar.
ticle are now lying waiting a market
at Greensborough.- Cor. NJ y. 7ri6-
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1865-07-04
A Reminiscence OF JEFF. Davis.
From the st. Paul Press, May 81.

From the st. Paul Press, May 81.
When jeff. Davis was returning
from Buenna Vista, Mexico, to the
States, with his regiment, he called on
General Wool, who was then in COM
mand Of that department, and asked
for teams to darw the mems knapsaoks.
The general informed him that the
transportation was all engaged in re-
moving the ordnance from the country,
therefore it was impossible to accom-.
modate him. jeff. insisted until he had
introduced the subject the third time,
whereupon the old regular told him he
would hear no more about the matter.
JEFF. took his leave suddenly, telling
the general to go to hell. The general
told him If he would repeat the words
he would put him under arrest. jeff
repeated the words, and took to his
heels down the streets pursued by the
writer of this article who was on guard
at the door during the conversation,
and was ordered by the general to ar
rest him.
jeff. saw that he was coming out
second best in the race, and made q
flank movement through Mexican
house into the back yard, which was
enclosed by high back wall so that it
could not he scaled, where the guard
kept him until the officers Of the guard
and four men came.
The officer of the guard informed
the colonel that he was his prisoner,
and that he had orders to take him to
General Wool's headquarters. The
officer replied, if the colonel said he
would go that was enough; but judge
of his astonishment when he saw the
perfdious jeff. again taking to his heels
down the street. This time he was
pursued by Kentuckian, who was the
nearest to him when he took his flight.
He soon came up within reach of him,
and dealt him a blow with the bntt of
his gun over his head, that prostrated
him.
jeff rolled over on his back, and
made some chivalric thursts with his
sabre, which were successfully parried
by the Kentuckian, who was in the act
Of wrenching the sword from his hand,
when the rest of the party came up
and overpowered tho colonel, and
marcned him back to headquarters.
where he was put under guard until
he repented his rashness and apologized
to the General, who released him to
pursue his march a wiser if not bet
Ter mani A. DICKaoN.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1865-07-04

cause SO just is a deep mystery, that
wears the appearance of God being
against the South but that could not
be fact, for the reason that the sacri-
fees and devotion of the Souther peo-
pie were so sincere and so religious.
On nearing Mobile, we We're little
more free, and conversed with the reb-
el officers considerably. Speaking Of
F" our Government" one of these step
ping up very firmly said, "No, sir; not
our Government: il is yours. Wehave
no Government. We are aliens and
foreigners, and will never have our
souls so degraded as to have anything
whatever to do with such Govern
ment. Release us from the obligations
of this parole, and we will leave the
ID people who have overpowered
as"
eyes, sir; that's our vicw," said a
dozen others of the same stripe.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1865-07-04
The Doctor and his Patient.

OF all the trades aud occupations
that engage the minds of men, that Of
a physician is the most diversified. In
locating he has to find out the constitu-
ton of those he is called upon to visit,
for it is frequently the case that success
may be owing to more deep and
thorough knowledge of the constitu-
ton of the patient than mere common
place application. AS an illustration
of this, we will relate an anccdote of
one of our physicians, who, " If he
finds physic will not cure, tries other
means as the patient may require"
DIR. d. had long been the attending
physician of lady long past her teens,
affected with certain disorders incident
to a want Of occupation aud the care
Of family. She sends for the doct r
in season, and out of season; he rushes
out In a g: 40 pace, and finds his pa
tient, physically perfectly well, but sad
and lonely, and, of course, effected
with the blues. All he can do is to
administer "tincture," with few
drops of peppermint, and the patient
is well for a day.
On one occasion, cold, clustering
night the doctor had just turned in,
wrapped himself snugly in his blankets,
with the hope Of quiet sleep, when q
loud rap aroused him.
Who's sick?" inquiries the doctor
murmuring.
"Miss Sally Strickland, sir; she's
most dead; expect she'll die before you
get there"
"T'll be along" says the doctor, and
exclaiming to himself; "Tll try and
cure her this time"
The doctor plods along through mud
and mire, cold and rain, studying his
application. When he arrived at the
dwelling of Miss Sally he found her as
usual, in rather depressed state Of
mind.
Doctor" she said fecbly, 81 ex
pect to die every moment l am very
low. Can you do anything for me ?"
The doctor felt her pulse, nothing
the matter, she merely wanted compa-
ny. The doctor becomes communica-
tive.
"Miss Sally, I was having a terrible
dream when your servant woke me" !"
81 dreamed / was dead" continued
the doctor, "and descending into the
lower regions, where / met the cold
Scratch" who invited me to view his
dominion. The inmates were engaged
in different oocupations-some playing
cards, others swindling their neigh
bors; in fine all the pursuits they fol-
lowed duriug life were continued there,
When he got through, he proclaimed
to the four quarters Of his dominions
that all should 60 to bed; for said
he: Sally Strickland will be here di-
rectly, and there'll be no peace in hell
for month"
The doctors speedy departure was
increased to flight by the sight of a
broomstick, fourishing actively in his
rear, but the remedy was effectual.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1865-07-04
ARrEMus WARD or THE DRAMA


ARTEMUs WARD on THE DRAMA.-
"Mr. Ward" has been annoyed by
remarks of ignorant people upon his
great show. Many people declare that
his "waX figures are not of a character
elivating and refined. He says:
/ maintain that wax fignres is more
olivation than all the plays ever WRIT
en-. Take Shakespear, for instance, Peo-
pie think he's great things but con-
tend quite the reverse to the conterary.
what sort of sense is there in King
Leer, who COWS r>und cussin his dar-
tiers, s,chawing hay, and throwing straws
at folks and latin like silly old koot,
and making a ass of himself generally.
There's Mrs. McBeech-she'a nice
kind of woman to have, amt shea
putin old Mac, her husband up to
slayin Duncan with ohcase knife,
while he's paying friendly visit to
their house, o, its mighty morality l
spose, when she lafs wildly, and sez,
"gin me the daggers-P II let his bow
els OUT or words to that Affect say
this is strictly proper, | spose? That
Jack Falstaff is likewise an immortal
old c. IS, Ike him as you may; and
Hamlit is as crazy rs loon. There's
Richard Third-people think he's great
things, bnt / look upon him in the lite
of a monster. He kills everybody he
takes a notion to, in cool blood, and
then goes to sleep in his tent. Bimbey
he wakes up and yells for hoss, so
he can go OFF and kill sum more people.
Ifhe's not q fit specimen fur the gallis,
then l shud like tn no whar yu find
um? There's Iergo, who is moro
nor pun. See how shamefully he
treated that highly respectable intln
gentlemen, Mr.. Otheller, maxim him
for to believe his wife was tew thick
with Casheo. Qbsarve how Irgo got
Casho drunk as billed owl on corn
whisky,in order to cary out his sneekin
desires. See how he works Mr.. Othell-
er's feelings up so that goze and makes
Desdimony swaller piller,which caus-
ed her death. But must stop. AT sum
future time / shall continue my remarks
on the drammer, in which / shall show
the vast superiority of wax figgers, ,snaix
and the fixins in an intellectual pint Of
view.
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1865-07-04
Address by Bishop Andrews.

The Mobile News Of the 18th con-
tains Bishop L. Andrews address to
the M. K. Church South. The Bishop
counsels return to peaceful avocation.
He says:
Let the young men of the country
now return to make much Of their be-
loved homes, and seek to engage, at the
earliest moment possible, in some hon.
est business, and by all means avoid
temptations to lawlessness; let all our
paroled soldiers avoid all concern in
bushwhacking or guerrilla warfare
These arc wrong in principle and piac-
ticc. Whatever seeming apology there
might have been during the war orig
inally for such course, none now ex-
lists. 1t was their duty, by all practi-
cal means, to promote peace and good
feeling among the various sections of
the United States. Let all earnestly
address themselves to the task Of the
reconstruction of the Government, by
promoting peace and unity,
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1865-07-04

Sepator Wade, as Chairman of the
Committee on the Conduct of the war,
is revising the sheets of tho report Of
that Committee, comprising recent
testimony as to the treatment Of our
prisoners at the hauds of the rebels.
The Committee say that the evidence
clearly shows that tens Of thousands
of our soldiers have fallen victims to
that savage aud internal spirit which
actua.ed those who spared not the
prisoners at their mercy, who sought
by midnight arson to destroy hundreds
OF defenseless women and children and
who hestated not to resort to means to
commit acts so horrible that the ma
tions Of the earth stand sghast as they
are told what has been done. The
prison surgeons report of the Rich
mond prisons for one quarter shows
that a fraction over one-h half of all the
cases entered resulted in death, and
most of these deaths were more the
result of the inhuman treatment and
neglect than disease. But little more
than half of the necessary number of
beds were provided and the nurses
often occupied them to the exclusion
of the sick. After our men died their
bodies were treated as the carcasses of
so many dead animals. They were
piled in the dead-house and their eyes
and cheeks eaten out by rats before
they were put into coffins. The keep
ers generally manifest total inditfer-
enoe as to the lives and condition of
the prisoners, and as one of the many
illustrations witness testified to the
following: 81 was standing one day
by the hospital; one of the negro sol
diers captured at the "explosion Of
the mine," near Petcrsburgh, was
standing near bye, engaged in examin.
ing his clothes for vermin. A rebel
sentinel, at whom ! happened to he
looking, drew up his musket, took de- +
liberate aim and fred, killing the negro
OH the spot. On being asked what he
did 1t for, he said: TO see the id
black son of a bitch DROP The rebels
said they got 80 days fhrlough for
shooting yankee"
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1865-07-04

: sW" Andrew J. Hamilton, the new
Provisional Governor of Texas, was
slaveholding lawyer of that State,
and a Representative in Congress-
having been elected on the ticket with
Huston for Governor in 1859. When
his colleague Reagan--since rebel Post
master General and now in Fort War
rcn--left the House to plunge into Sc
esslon-Hamilton made strong
speech on the other side. He went
home, but was appointed unto death,
and narrowly escaped with his life to
Mexico--thence making his way to the
North. President Lincoln appointed
him Governor of Texas, but as the reb-
els held the State, he could not enter
upon his Office. He made many specoh-
es in this State in the campaign Of 'o3,
and last fall--all Of the right stamp
Governor Hamilton has scarcely seen
his family during the war;. d w ~ 4
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1865-07-04

The Secretary Of the Treasury has
just issued regulations respecting the
collection OF taxes in States lately in
insurrection. They provide that for
the present collection of all back or ac-
orued taxes shall te waived, though IL
is expressly stated that the Government
does not relinquish the right to collect
them hereafter.
The income tax Of 1894 viii be as
sessed and collected, and all other tax
alton, whether excise or revenue, will
begin at the date when States were di-
vided into collection districts. The
duty on cotton and spirits of turpen-
tine will be collected from the person
in whose hands these articles are first
found, but holders of manufactured to-
bacco, distilled spirits, and other manu-
factured articles, will not be subject to
tax, if they can show that they bought
the property before the State was dis
tricted as aforesaid, unless they send
it north for sale, in which case the full
amount of taxes will be collected,
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1865-07-04

How Docs GER MAD.-Nine- -tenths
of the people are in ignorance In re-
gard to the premonition of madness In
dogs. One of the earliest signs of
madness in dogs, and one which should
always arouse attention on the part of
those in charge of dogs, is q sullen-
ness, combined with fgetinoss. When
it means rabies, (madness,) the dog re-
tires to his bed for several hours, and
may be seen curled up, his face buried
between his paws and breast. He
shows no disposition to bite, and will
answer the call, but slowly and sullenly.
After while he becomes restless, seek
ing out new resting places, and never
satisfied with one. He then returns to
his bed, but continually shifts his pos
turc. lie rises up and lies down again,
settles his body in a variety of pos
lures, disposes his be l with his paws,
shaking it with his mouth, bringing it
to heap, on which he carefully lays
his chest, and then rises up and bun
dies it all out of his kennel. If at lib
erty, he will seem to imagine some
thing lost, and will eagerly search
around with strange violence and inde-
cision. That dog should be watched.
If he begins to gaze strangely about
him, rs he lies in bed, and If his coun-
tenance is clouded and suspicious, we
may be certain that madness is coming
on. nt1 sl.aar
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1865-07-04
Love and Care for q Wife.


wish every husband would copy in
his memorandum book this sentence
from a recently published work.
"Woman must be constituted very diff
ferently from men. A word said, a
line written, and we are happy omit
ted, our hearts ache, as if for great
misfortune. Men cannot feel it, or
guess at it; if they did, the most care
less of them would be slow to wound
us so."
The grave hides many heart that
has been stung to death, because one
who might, after all, have loved it after
certain careless fashion, was deaf,
and dumb and blind, to the truth of the
sentence we have just quoted, or if
not, was at least restive and impatient
with regard to it. Many men, marry.
ing late in life, being accustomed only
to take care of themselves, and that in
the most erratic, rllmbling, exciting
fashion, eating and drinking, sleeping
and waking whenever their fancy, or
good cheer and amusement, question
able or unquestionable, prompted, come
at last when they get tired of this,
with their selfish habits fixed as fate to
-matrimony. For awhile it is novel
ty. Shortly, it is strange as irksome,
their always being obliged to consider
the comfort and happiness of another /;
who have something always hanging
on the arm, which used to swing free,
or at most but twirl a cane. They then
think their duty done1 if they provide
feed and clothing, and refrain-possi-
bly--from harsh words. Ah-it is
listen to that sigh as you close the
door. Watch the gradual fading of
the eyes, the paling of the cheek, not
from age-she should be yonng-but
that gnawing pain at the heart born of
the settled conviction that the great
hungry craving of her soul, as far as
you are concernep, must go forever un-
satisfied. God help such wives, keep
them from attempting to slack their
souls thirst at poisoned fountains.
Think you, her husband, how little
kind word, caress to you, how
much to her? If you call these "child-
ish" "and beneath your notice." then
you should never have been married.
There are men who should remain for
ever single.
You are one. You have no right to
require Of woman her health, strength
and time, especially her devotion to
mock her with this shadowy, unsatisfy-
ing return. A new bonnet, a dress,
shawl, watch, anything, everything,
but what tride woman's heart must
crave to sympathy, appreciation, love.
She may be rich in everything else, but
if she be poor in these, and is good
woman, she had better die.
There are hard, unloviug, cold mon
strositles of women-rare exceptions
who neither require love or know
how to give it. We are not speaking
of these. That big-hearted, loving
meu, have sometimes been throw n
away upon such, does not disprove
what we have been saying. But even
man thus situated has greatly the ad-
vantage of a woman in similar circum-
stances, because over the needle, q wo.
man may think herself into an insane
ASYLUM, while the active, out door tur-
MOL business life is at least something
Of a areprieve to him.
Do you ask me, "Are there no hap.
py wives9" God be praised, yes, and
glorious, loyable husbands too, who
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1865-07-04
A. III, Stephens.

A soldier acting as one of the guard
over Alex. ii. Stedhens at Fort War
rem informs the Boston Traveller that
the late Vice President of the Confed-
crate States spends much time in wri-
ting,and has already prepared immense
roofs Of manuscript, enough to give a
complete history of the rebellion. He
also reads considerable, and each NOR
ming spends some time in singing
hymns, (which he does with good voice
and much feeling and spirit. He main-
tains, however, proud and naughty
air, and stands upon his dignity, mani
Testing nc, desire to converse with any
one while taking his daily walks upon
the grounds. He does not, however, fail
to express occasionally his dislike for
Jefferson Davis, and as for that matter,
so docs Post master General Reagan,
who is kept in, the adjoining cell. r0
The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1865-07-04

A TOUCHING ScENE.-An Albany
correspondent of the Utica Observer
in speaking of the arrival of the 9lst
regiment, says that he saw one lusty
six-footer, as bronzcd as sun and wind
could make him, leave the ranks and
rush for the sidewalk, where a beauti-
ful lady met him, presented arms
and saluted him with an old fashioned
smack, plump in the mouth, which
seemed to make the hero feel rain
bows and ice cream all over, but the
man was "equal to the emergency"
and said, "Thank God, Mary, / am
home, with two legs, two arms and two
eyes-to stay" 9