, 1865-07-07
NUMBER 80.
Prenticeisms.

/ Lawsuits-prson clothing
A snow -ball--quadrilles on ice.
To cure "felon' hang him.
Revenge a wrong by forgiving it.
Good injunctions to hens-lay still.
Breeches Of trust-trowsers on credit.
The waves Of the sea are a very dashing
host.
Extremes-the association of goose and sage
Female suffrage is not allowed in this coun-
| try, but male suffering is.
To ascertain whether boot shoe is Of the
| right size-measure it by the foot.
Matrimony generally puts happy couple
through a course of sprouts.
If one desires to appear something, one must
be something.
Moderation is the silken string running
through the pearl-chain Of all virtues.
i Cattle are defended as garriqons in fortifca-
tions often are-by horn-works
Many good man gives comfort to other
hearts when his own is desolate.
A man drowned in a crooked river is unques-
tionably in a winding-sheet of water.
When is a newspaper the sharpest? when it is
filed.
Jack Frosts rime is infinitely more beautiful
than the rhymes of poets.
A woman's tears sometimes slack from being
quickened by her finger.
Dogs are funny creatures There seems to
be great deal Of wagging about them
There are many sharks in the water but there
are many more on dry land
The only place in which is difficult to show
! bra ic in tOffh he
From the dust on which we tread, spring the
flowers we admire.
A parrot sometimes learns a good many Ian
guages, she is ''polly-glot.
The human race, like an auctioneer's goods
are always "going- going-gone,
Some folks shame the devil not by speaking
the truth but by outlying him.
Men who fight dues generally have two Sec
onds to live after they are dead.
If you wish to have the public have an ink
ling of everything printit .-- ....-
The birds are the most successful of all agri-
culturalists; their crops never fail.
The old poets rode on Pegasusi the modern
ones have to 60 on foot ..,-. ...s r...e
A great many persons are oil struck who fail
to strike oil
It must be slippery truth that lies at the
bottom of an oil well.
Insolence among men, though an unpopular
! currency, often has gold basis
The most powerful of ghosts-the spirits of
hGtimes.
If a lady contracts a cold from wearing
hoops, she will have the hOoping-eough.
Never sleep in the company of a lady; if you
do you cant wink at them,
An ezecrable singer never gets the right pitch
except when he gets pitched out of the window.
When lady is called on by ghost she gen.
eialy receives him Paris fashion-in bed. .r
Some ladies wear rings on their fore fingers;
others on their five fngers-thumbs excepted
1t is well to contract debts If they are of
huge dimensions, contract them rs much as pos
sible. t,.,o9
If a German doesn't generally see as plainly
as other folks, it is because he has thick smoke
before his eyes
We have it on good authority that the gentle
man who was ''afraid of his life has since put
an end to it.
why are the rebels like vicious school-boys2
Because they dislike to be watched by moni-
tors.
A bachelor shoemaker says that an old maid
is like an old boot-of no use without fellow.
Don't marry soldier You may fancy that
it will be all love and May, but it will probably
be love and March.
In taking revenge, a man is but even with his
enemy in passing it over he is his superior
A man does not like to have heavy charge
leyeled against him-especially if it is gun.
g l..
IS that which is founded on true feeling will al
ways continue.
A young woman is very unlike horse She -
loves to say yes when he answers ''neigh' to
everything
The whalers often take big fish, bat our
forces near Wilmington lately took Fisher.
In our country, girls sack their sweethearts;
but in Turkey, husbands sack their wives.
We admire to see young lady with a beaut-
full, genuine complexion, but sham is shame.
When you are in danger from external ene-.
mics, look ou. When the peril is from your
own unbridled passions, look in. tlt.
Men do not live as long as they did in the
old time. The men of this age are very fast,
and fast man very soon gets out Of breath.
Many military officer is so fond of fighting
and making love, that he seems to be like the
ancient Harmonic, the offspring of Mars and We
nus.
Condemn not young woman that man is
madly in love with her. You might well
blame acrystal river that melancholy man has
drowned himself in it.
>>~~~~~-~-sos-~~--~~~~
IF the world applauds us, we must thankfully
receive it as boon; for, if even the most de-
serving appear to expect itas debt, it will new
er be paid.
.->~~~~~~--->1p-e~~--~y~o~~
If a woman would talk out Of both corners
Of her mouth at the same time, there would be
good deal said on both sides
The ancient cooks carried their art to the
most whimsical perfection. They were able to
serve up whole hog, boiled on side and
roasted on the other
~~~~~0@~~@~--sas--~-~-~y--
A fellow was observed recently driving q
'porker," holding on to his tail; and when
asked what be was doing, he replied, studying
ge-hog-raphy.