Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1865-04-01

very low to me now. They didn't once.
Great is Peter O'eum, and boring is its
profit! Just to thiuk of it. How used
to once dig potatoes on shares--.urn grind
stones for fun-m:lked cows for the butter
mi'k-co,ton strings for suspenders- boss
old boots OF freeze toes--hired mans hat
or get tanned-second table or none at all
-" dirty fingered type s,icker" or poor
mechanic-go afoos or stay behind Oil
is dream now. Stare, hilarious days, for
poverty ore over, and shodJy is ended
| cnyious.
Guess can kiss Matilda Jerusha now,
and her dad won't object, for I've struck
lie Reckon tailor will have time to make
those ralments for me this week. Think
landlord won't insist upon moving out of
his abode. Thiags is working now. An.
other vein is opened J! Aud you don't
know how nice it is. If 60 on "bum,',
folks look over it now. When WAS poor,
they looked into it. I can kick boot
blacks, snuh poor people, break car win
dows, throw eob'ets at walters, visit ques.
tionab!e places. hurrah for any man
wish to- winh at whose wife wish 20, tie
my team to shade trees, stand on chu, ch
cushions with dirty feet, jam peoples hats
dowu over their eyes, tell q man be is Il
liar, spit on the carpet, &C, drunk or sober,
swear or not as | please, and its oil right
for I've struck Pete Aud can sit up
OF! night. and raise much harmony. No
one objects. Mrs. S;igginss SAYS | am
the niccrcst man the ever sawed. Mrs.
! Pigge'ly says | am the most delightingest
gentleman she ever knowcd. Tie Slig~
gings aud PigSerly girls say am mostly
exxuisitous! It's oil Oh account of Peter
Oienm. who has lately come to see me.
And Im on it now. Have left my
measure for set Of diamonds, sze Of a
coal bed. And / have ordered silk shirts.
SAITH stockings, more antique elasiics, and
gol! shaving cup. And Ill have gui
tar, harp, organ, piano, and tink!ing Gym
hal in the house, oiled with petroleum, so
they will play easy. And my hair my
wh'skers, my pocket ha,dAerchefs. my
big clothes and my little clothes, shall
bssk in barrel of petroleum while sleep
O, Pete! I'm fixed at last I'll found a
church, or founder a horse III buy a
horse railroad, and run it with petroleum:
h'r. rel sious editors to puff me INTO Chris
tiauify; bug nomination for fat Office,
and become as stiff AS oil boiled SILK G,
away Poverty; I'm wearied Of your car
esses! l0u have q large society, but
don't appreciate your grip. Your by laws
are right, but against my constitution
Now eau give advice, and it will be
needed. Its nice to have struck iIe-one
has so many more friends than he ever
though. for, and people take such an in.
terest in you. can go on Change buya
few thousand shares on call, sell gold long
or short, deal in stocks at buyers option,
have private box At the opera, shake
hands with old Mr.. Nabob, and sing what
tune please. Young man. bore fer oil.
Strike Pe.e aud be happy Cause the
earth to gush into your lap, ard beauty
will gush oil over thee. Strike oil and
be great.
The question once was, who inflicted
blow under the anricular of William Pat.
terson. Farewell, Pat! The in,erroga.
ton now is, "Who struck pc,e?' I've
struck him aud once more am happy. IT
yosng ladies' Of fashion wish to carry me
sweetly once ere die, they will please
step forward and not rumpe my clothes
Ii any seeker after not oriely wishes to ki>s
NE for the Sanitary, they can now do it,
and one Of my nisgers shall hold the
stakes. I've struck Pete. and the result
is much gorgeousness If apparel many
good things heretofore known to ME only
by observation.
I wonld not he n poor man
..~ ! would not il could,
Ru, need not fret about it,
Fer could not il would,
while tho earth divulges its hidden secrets
into my lap at the rate of three hundred
barrels day. l,s oil right now Oace |
was merely n bore Now | nm success.
ful borer, and my troubles have been
drowned in oil by the genius of success
Peter Oleum. Olways thine,
g.. !. ..~. POMERoY
Nor Used To II - An OH topper bet that
he could, when blind folded tell each of
the several kinds Of liquors, and when
brandy. whiskey. gin aud other drinks
were presented to him, he pronounced cor.