Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1865-09-08
THE OLD WOMAN AND THE CROW.
BY w. N. JOHNSON.

The following amusing anecdO;e, whic
has never yet appeared in print, struc
me as containing a point so keenly SAITH
zeal, that l determined to write it dow
and have it "placed on the records"
was told me by one who was both an ey
and an ear witness, and who, of course
speaks from the book. The story vii
lose much of its righteousness in M.
style of writing, and bis Of telling it, Blu
here goes:
At a certain cross roads in the State o
Alabama. stood small grocery, or wills
key shop, previous to the rebellion, where
''bust head" and "cbain lightning" were
dealt out to the thirsty, unwashed at the
small sum of five cents drink, or TWEEN.
ty cents a quart. The presiding genius
OF this delectable institution was one Bill
Skies, who, among various other pets
had domesticated crow, black as the ace
of spades. This crow had learned, am.
ong other things, TO repeat quite plainly
the words "damn YOU" which he Of
course, heard frequently used in the gro
Gerry. During the prevalence Of knock
down and drag, out fight one day, howev.
er, the crow was frightened from bis
home and flew off into the woods, never
to return.
About three miles from the grocery
was settlement meeting house-an old,
tumble down, dilapidated affair, only used
on certain occasions, when ''circuit ri
der" happened to pass that way. Into
this building went the crow, taking
peaceable possession; and two days
thereafter the church was thrown open
for preaching, and large crowd Assem-,
bled, among whom was a very old lady,
who was compelled to use crutches inI
who took her seat in the "frontI
pew" and was soon deeply absorbed inI
he eloquence of the preacher. The
'everend gentleman had scarcely got I'M
Ter full Roadway, and commenced thun-
lering his anathemas at all grades Of sin
lers, when hoarse, croaking voice from
bove uttered the ominous words:
"Damn you!"
The preacher and congregation looked
ghast at such profanity, and each peered
! his neighbours face in vain to detect
'me sign of guilt. Quiet was at length
,stored, however and the sermon pro-
'eded, but ere ten minutes had elapsed :,
e ominous "damn you" again electrified
e audience, and just as the preacher .
st his eyes upward to search for the de- u
lquent, the crow flew down from his y
rich, aud, Lighting on the Bible, calmly II
rveyed the terrified crowd, as he gave ,
other doleful oroak:
damn you p a
The effect was electrical. Giving one IL
lrtled and terrified glance at the ntru- "
r, the preacher sprang through a win u
w, carrying sash, glass and all with 5
m, and set off at a break neck pace S
rough the woods, closely followed by
5 horror stricken congregation, who bad o
led out Of the building pell nell after d
m. In the general scramble, the old I
dy with the crutches had been knocked v
'wn in the church, where she lay, ma d
e TO rise, and on observing her, the ri
ow (who was after something to ea) l
NV down beside her, and cooking up his
re very knowingly, again croaked: o
Damn you r. k
The old lady eyed him savagely for c
W moments, and then burst forth, in a
ne of reckless defiance Y
"Yes-and damn you too / bad no. a
ing to do with getting up this Method tC
meeting-and you know it tool al
The poor old soul had mistaken the ii
ow for the Devil, and concluded to pro- N
tate, if possible, the wrath Of his Sa- fr
mic majesty by denying all completely II
the affair. The world is full of just n
oh people, ir