American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1865-12-06
WIT AND WISDOM,

He that swells in prosperity, will be
sure to shrink in adversity.
Why do you Grive such pitiful
looking carcass as that ? Why don't you
put heavier coat of flesh on him 2" said
traveller to an Irish cart driver GA
heavier coat of flesh BY the powers the
poor creature can hardly carry what little
there is on him now p
Who is the shortest man mentioned
in the Bible Elihu of Shuhite
Who was the fastest women of the BIZ
BILE Herodias' daughter, because she
got ahead of Johu the Baptist on a char
ger.
What is the worst insect mentioned in
the Bible "The Wicked Flee"
Fool PRovERBs.-Get drunk yourself
and say that your neighbor staggers.
Stand on your head and say the world
is upside down.
Spend your time working in cesspools,
and wonder that you get yourself dir
ty.
Mind everybodys business and wonder
ct their ingratitude.
Act like Satan through the week, and
wonder that you don't feel good on Sun
day.
To- -MoRRow.-On the Little Miami Rail-
road is station called Morrow. A new
brakeman on the road, who dad not know
the names of the stations, was approach
ed by stranger the other day, while
standing by his train at the depot, who
inquired:-
"Does this train go to Morrow, to-dayW
"No," said the brakeman, who thought
the stranger was making game of him,
"it goes,t day yesterday, week after next"
"You don't understand me-, persisted
the stranger; II want to go to Morrow"
"Well, why in thunder don't you wait
until tomorrow, then, and not come both
ering around to-day. You can go to-mor-
row, or any other day you please"
"Won't you answer civil question
civilly? Will this train GO today to
Morrow"
"Mot exactly 1t will go to-day and
come back tomorrow"
As the stranger who waated to go to
Morrow was about to leave in disgust,
another employee who knew the station
alluded to, came along and gave him the
required information.
"A lady in city, a few days
since, having purchased some sausa-
ges, of couple of lads, overheard
them disputing about the money
"Give me half ont" said one. 'No
won't I'm bound to have it all, "
said the other. "Now' taint fair,
Joe, you know it aint; half the pup
was mlne." tits needless to, say that
the lady not relishing the notion of
eating puppy sausages, threw her
bargain to the dogs.
The following is a verdict
on a negro jury: "We, the under
signed, being korner's jury to sit
on de body of de niger Sambo, now
dead and gone afore us, had been sit
in on the said nigger aforesaid, and
he did on the night of de fusteenth
of November come to def by. fallin'
from de bridge ober de ribber in de
said ribber, whar We find he was
subsequently drown, and afterwards
| washed on de riber side whar we
spose he was froze to def"
A CHALLENGE.-A little fop, con-
| ceiving himself insulted by gentle
| man, who yentured to give him some
wholesale aaTice, strutted up to him
with an air Of Importance, and said !;
"Sir, you are no gentleman f! llere
is my card-eonsider yourself chal-
lenged. Should | be from home
! when you honor me with a call, l
shall leave word with a friend to
settle all the preliminaries to your
satisfaction" To which the other
replied, s.Sir, you are fooli Here
is my card consider your nose pulled.
And should I not be at home when
you call on me, you Will find ] have
left orders with my servant 10 show
or kick you into the street for your
impotence"