The Norfolk post. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 1865-1866, 1865-06-22


orter go. They tort him to squeak
owe! he squoke 80 musical!--they tort
him to jump, and they tort him to refieck
now he wuz only tadpowel onst, and
hadn't orter to look down upon them as
wuz nothink but tadpowels yet. The
hoam of this youthful phrog wuz asweet
aoam, indeed Thesbottom of the ditch
in which he resided with his parents
wuz puffeckly lively: the wurrems in 1t
wuz large, and the snaiks wuz remarka-
Die small. What more could a phrog
iesire2n ~ ~.
The following letter was..written by a
young lady: ~ ..
"Der kuzzen: We is all we'll, and
mothers got the his Terrix; brother
Tom is got the Hupin Kaugh and sister
Ann has got babee, and hope these few
lines will find you the same. Rite sumo.
Your apfhectionate kuzzen."
The following order, verbatim ct liter
rrtin,, is said to have been received by an
undertaken from afpafflicted widower:
"Sur: My waif is ded, and Wants to
De berried to MORO. AT Wunor klok.
q nose wair to dig the Hole-bi the side
Of my too Uther waifs-Let it be deep"
The recording secretary of division
If Sons of Temperance made this entry
in his book, showing remarkable inge-
luity in spelling usual"
carter gwine threw they yewzewal
awms THAR wais coleckshun takin up
nut nothin pad
In window Of beer-house in one Of
II large cities IS this notice: "Table
Bear Sowld Hear tuppens cwart."
THE LACoNIC STYLE.
AS applied to epistles and kilograms
hisisexcellent. acknowledgement
to his wife: "Wlat have you for break
FAST, and how is baby" The answer
anne, "Buckwleat cakes and the
neasles.u
The cheapest telegram ever sent was
~ an Irishman. Said he to the tele-
graph operator, "Do you ever charge
anybody for the address in message?'
No." replied the operator. "And Go
1s charge for signing his n.rae, s:rY"--
No, sir" Well, thin, MI re p!ase
end this? list want me hrother u
Know I'm here "--handins Ike fellow
ing: "To John Merlin, at New York
signed --Patrick McFlin." The mes
age was sent, and no charge made.
Humphreys, tho poxer, AFTER he had
conquered Mendoza, the Jew, wrote q
riend as follows:
Dear John: I've done the Jew,
"Your, T. HUMPHREYS"
Everybody has heard of the famous
'etters which passed between the adverse
hiefs of Sir O'Connell and Tyrone:
"Pay mo my tribute, or ii you don't
IL owe you no tribute and if did
I After Kean's performance of Abel
0rugger, for his own benefit, at Drury
lane Theatre, Mrs. garrick, with more
lncerity than politeness, wrote as fol-
ows;
"Dsar Sir: You can't play Abel Drusgsr.
Yours, 3. GARRicx."
"To Edmund Kcsn ESQ" .5..
To this the modern Roscius laconically
replied: @
Dear Madame; know It,
s al u f. Aeutf ~ AAAS'
"To Mrs Garrick"
/. The celebrated Foote'S correspondence
with his mother is equally pithy:
apear Sam: I'm in prison.
"Your loving mother, A. FoorB"
IS Dear Mother: So am ].
"Your afectionate son, SAM FoorE"
DORSET.
Dorset Is a maritime county in Eng
and, on the Channel. "a book has been
published in Boston in the Dorset dialect,
oy William Barnes, the original pronun-
,iation being preserved by the spelling.
Here is pleasant example: $50
FALSE FRIENDSHIPS.
When wor' still bwoy, aud mothers PRIDE
A bigger bwoy spoke up to me 50 kind like .,t ia
If yon do like, I'll trest ye wi a ride -.
In theaso wheel-barTow hero.h 10 were blnd-lke
70 what o had a workop In his mind-iko,
An mounted vor passenger inside: .,l.-s
An comen to n puddle psr.y wide, , ID
lie tipp'd me In, grinnen back behind-like.
70 when do come " mo too thick-like, '
AM sheak my hand, where oonce o pass'd me by,
An tell me he would do me this or that,
I can't help thinker o. the big bwoy's tlfck-lke,
An then for oil can but wag my hat ~
An thank ZEN, do voel little shy. -... w..
~ N. Y. Post.