The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1865-07-12
Hot, Hot, Piping Hot.
BY O. SHAW.
1t when the sun his beacon red

the .cOuplet above was the oft quoted
Is'clerk of the weather" in times agone,
and did supply the raging God of day
with the material for making our earthly
abode particularly warm and NASTY" OF
whether the quotation was the result OF
sheer jealousy on the part of the cele-
brated poet who envied Ben his sweet
auburn ringlets," history has not been
kind enough to divnlge. If the former,
then is it a self evident fact that de
scendant of the the tribe of Benjamin
and enc who possessed in an astonishing
degree the . SSee g, e;tary" qualifications
of the family, M have settled in this
neighborhood to annoy and torment the
veil disposed tax payers OF this meek OF
the woods" For never, even within the
memory of that remote Individual "the
oldest inhabitant,' has old Sol been on
such particular rampage. new
er has he dispensed his surplus
caloric more literally than dur
ing the recent leafy month of June.
1t is related of that elaborate sensation
divine, Henry Ward Beecher, that on a
very sultry Sabbath day he ascended the
pulpit and said, cts Did watm to-day"
then, after drinking glass OF water and
while the congregation were deliberatlng
as to whether he had taken leave of his
senses or not, he continued, "Such, my
hearers, were the words l heard uttered
by man at the door of this church to-
dayi" and he then preached very elo-
auent sermon from that very singular
text Had the unfortunate wight who
thus became unwittingly the instigator
of H. w. BIS impromptu eloquence So
iourned in this vicinity during the recent
heated tenn he wsuld have been able to
plead a few extenuating circumstances
in support of his carseory remark; for it
certainly was warm enough to mako the
wicked think dsspondinglS Of the here
after, and to make any one wicked. A
person may suffer severely from cold
or hunger, and yet not feel that
desire to give way to his an
CRY passions that he does when over
heated; and with the Thermometer
ranging away up in the "nineties," ten
men ont of every twelve, did they ven.
ture an opinion on the weather, would
very likely make Use of adjectives far
more expressive than elegant. Josh Bill
lingSsays that "robbers are like rain, be-
cause. they fall on the just and unjust"
and sunbeams are like rain for the same
reason, and the plethoric portion of man
kind, by reason of occupying more space
than the lean and attenuated, conse-
auently monopolize more of the suns I'M
divided attention, and are the recipients
of more caloric, and their suffering dur
the recent warm spell must have been
terrific The perspiration formed in
globul& on their fOreheads aud trickled
slowly down their rubicund faces, and
then dropped to the ground to momen-
tarily assist i'll "larding the green earth "
But tire obese mortal was not by any
means the only one that felt the over
powering heat, and wilted under its in
f1uence. Mary Jane, the charming lit
tie creature" who accompanied the nice
young man to the saloon, felt no cooler
after swallowing the fourth sancer of
ice cream, then she did before she had
partaken. Gentlemen who indulged in
stimulating beverages, with the belief
that they would allay the heat of their
bodies, were sadly "mistook,' and they
speedily resigned the beer and alcohol in
favor of juleps and cobblers, which last,
like the believers in the Amnesty PrOcla-
nation, mere not hard to take, and mighty
easily sucked in. Quadrupeds suffered as
severely with the excessive beat as bi-
peds, as plainly attested by their weary
and listless appearance. "Dorgs," OF
which there are of all races and sizes
about five thousand in the city, held
high carnival in the streets o. nights
in evident anticipation of dog days; the
most of these would have had their day
some time since, if the "perleecs" had
done their duty The powers that be"
should attend to this matter ere it is too
late to profit by the example in other
cities Flies, gnats, and other pestiter-
Gus insects were the only living thing
that seemed to enjoy the warm
weather, and the first named insects have
not been so numerous for many years
as during the present season much to The
detriment of that oft quoted bovine ami
nal whose bob tail is supposed to keep
up lively, if not an extensive circula-
tion during fly time
But every thing in this world must
sooner or late have an end, and the warm
spell although it may be continued in
definitely in the next world was no ex-
ception to the general rule, for the much
needed and long looked for rain came at
last, driving away the oppressive vapor
and leaving everything as cool and nice
as iced lemonade or DR.. Kane's Travels.
May il continue so.