The New era. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1865-1871, 1865-10-12

anu IrlVuUS are IlGN6I EdItGU.
The Tale of the Great Saratoga
Trunk.
Old Anthracite has very dear wife
so dear that she costs him on her own
private account about fifteen thousand
dollars year. Mrs. Anthracite always
has the latest fashions, SO when the great
Saratoga trunk was exhibited in Broad
way, Mrs. A. instantly purchased one
for her summer trip.
Every one knows that the great Sara
toga trunk is an unexceptiOnal trunk
1t is colossal-of Titanic proportions.
Cheops, the builder Of the great pyramid,
might have found ample accommodation
for her entire house in the Saratoga
trunk.
Accordingly down went Mrs. 4. to
the great Watering place with her great
trunk.
She had not been long there, however,
when old Anthracite received u private
telegram from a friend to inform him
that Mrs. A. was flirting desperately
with young Belzebub, the great soap
boiler. Anthracite instantly takes the
train, arrives at the hotel, and, inquir-
ing the number of his Wife's room, quiz
city walks up stairs.
knocks. Door opens after some delay.
Mrs. A. f1uttered, which flutter increas-
ed to dismay when shesees her husband.
Husband enters coolly explains that he
has just come to see how she was getting
on, and seats himself ON the Saratoga
trunk. Drops a glove, the picking up
of which enables him to look under the
bed. No one there. Mrs. A. looked as
| if some one ought to be there. Husband
talks of the weather, and the pair are
sitting down to little light converse
| ton, when old Anthracite remarks quiz
city: =.
s'Mrs. A. there's 4 rat in your trunk"
Mrs. A. turns pale through her paint.
No, husband is mistaken. The rat is
in the wainscot. They are always in
there-thOse rats, Husband is sure it is
in the trunk. He smells him; he will
and she has lost the key. Husband begS
to contradict. The key was in the lock ,
the lid was open.
Husband, amid the protestations of
Mrs. A., half raised the lid. No crino-
line, no shawls, no lace, no flrbelows, in
the great Saratoga trunk. Only young
Belzebub's glossy curls and killing mus
tache are visible. Mrs. A. instantly
faints. 1t is a privilege of her sex ON
such occasions. What does husband do?
Shoot young Belzebub. Not bit of it.
He smiles grimly and shuts the lid down
again, locking the great Saratoga trunk.
He rings the bell tells the waiter to
bring him gimlet. Bores a few holes
through the great trunk. Orders up the
porter, and goes off to New York, ac-
companied by the great Saratoga trunk.
| What would the trunk not have given
for a cigar in the baggage wagon, when
! it smelled the smoke that was SO LIBERAL
| ly puffed about. The trunk, although
nearly suffocated, thought it best to keep
quiet.
Arrived at New York, old Anthracite
told the people at the depot, loud enough
for the great Saratoga trunk to hear him,
that he would leave his baggage at the
office for a few days, when he wouldsend
for it. This was more than the great
trunk could bear; so it kicked, shouted
and made noise until it was broken
open, and to the surprise of everybody,
poor Belzebub crawled out in a limping
condition. He tried to tell the people
that it was done for a bet, but somehow
the truth leaked out, and predict that
next summer there will be fewer great
Saratoga trunks at the Springs. Think
old Anthracite got the best Of it, don't
you?