The New era. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1865-1871, 1865-11-09
L Remedy for COiic.

mushroom lloDllltN.
Il Remedy for Cote.
was travelling in Indiana, and had
put up for thenight in a double log cabin
on the banks of the Wabash, eat heartily
of cucumbers at supper, and an hour
afterwards was suffering all manner OF
tortures from the colic-cramps-whe
Great beads of cold sweat stood on my
forehead, and / was doubling mp and
Strengthening out like a jack knife. !
spoke to the woman Of the house, mid
dle-aged, fair-haired woman, who had
raised at least nine toWhead "gals" and
boys-about fixing me some pepper ten
or something of that nature, telling her
/ had terrible spell of the collie.
"I'll go and fetch MOTHER said she,
"cause, stranger, ] do reckon she's aW-
fullest best hand for curing collie in the
whole Wabash BOTTOM"
She went into another part of the
house, and ten minutes after, one of the
ugliest, sallowest, littlest old women |
ever saw in any part of the civilized
world, came hobbling in. Her gait was
hardly decent hobble, it was more like
that of a rheumatic ostrich. Her nose
and chin almost met over the shrunken
cavity doing duty as a mouth, and a
she came shufiling toward me, she num-
bled as if chewing the cud. On the end
Of her nose was Il great wart, with -four
or five gray bristles Struggling from
it, and there We're sundry other beauty
spots Of the same nature about her skin
ny neck and wrinkled chin. Her eye,
We're red, bleared and watery, from hay
ing spent her whole life about the smoky
fireplace of a western cabin. This fear
fully and wonderfully ugly old woman.
stepping close in front Of me, and stoop-
ing forward till her nose was so close to
my face that the hair on her nasal wart
almost brushed my cheek, said:
"Stranger, Betsey Ann tells me she
recllons, you've got the COLES powerful.
Now I've bin so myself nigh onto hun
dred times, reckon, in the cowcumber
season; and Betsey Ann she's been that
way; Richard, he's bin that way, and
the biggest end of the rest of the fami-
~" Producing musket ball-an ounce
bullet Of lead-she assured NE l would
be all right in five minutes after swal-
lowing it that lead was death on COLES.
Being terribly racked, and hardly know
ing what did, l seized the bullet and,
with single gulp, down it went. No
sooner was it down, than l repented of
having swallowed it. l remembered to
have heard that lead was poisonous.
Starting UP, cried out:
You old wretch, you have killed
me. Lead is a deadly poison. | can
feel it cold in my stomach now. 1t will
kill met"
Ha, hs, he, he, he!" laughed the old
crone, he, he, he" in shrill, cracked
voice" kill yer! don't poster yerself
with ldee! Why, stranger, that bullets
bin in the family nigh on to twenty
years! Richard, he has swallowed it;
the biggest end OF the children, they've
swallowed 1t; and l've swallowed ii
myself nigh on to forty times"
& YOU" / cried, STARTING from my
seat; "you're swallowed this same hui
let:
"Sartln! right upa limb that same
bullet every cowcumber season for nigl.
twenty year"
You old devil!" l cried as rushed
n lew minutes after, there might have
oeen seen very sick looking Young
man leaning across rail fence in the
vicinity. - "
;. IHE way into which words are often
divided, when set to music, sometimes
produces rather a ludicrous effect. \
stranger was once surprised on hearing
a congregation, mostly OF women, cry
ing out
g 0 for a man.
O for a man!
q for a mansion in the slSiesv'
While on another occasion a choir
sang TO the best of their ability
=" Wen catch the flee.
We'll catch the fee.
- Wen catch the tlec-ting hours!'
III Is hoped nobody was bitten.
- NEVER look at girls. They can't bear
~ lhey regard it as an insult. They
Wear year,, .heir feathers, furbcfows and frilis