The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-03-16

script plaid sacque, trimmed with buttons
bugles, fringes and gimp. She had one
: OF the smallest of hats on her head ane
in her hand cane, parasQl and bun
die of tracts for the little benighted hea
then.
''The land of the living~ cried Mr.
Folsom surveying her with awe struck a
mazement, chow are you going to get in
to the waggin with all them are 'fandan-
goes fying?'
Carriage, if you please" replied his
wife loftily.
Jerry Blake, the hired man, led up a
horse. and Mrs. Folsom essayed to mount
into her chariot But in vain. She was
altogether unused to the management of
such drapery, and being with all heavy
woman-the thing could not be done.
| Jerry solved the enigma by bringing
forward the wash bench and a board
Mrs. Folsom was helped to climb the
bench, from which the board reached to
the side of the wagon, and though the
set board bent and cracked fearfully, she
made the transit in safety, and seated
herself in the vehicle filling it completely.
"Where in time am l going to ride 2"
queried Mr.. Folsom, scratching his fore
top-a habit he had when exercised in
! his mind.
"You will be under the necessity of
pream5ulating-" said Mrs. Folsom.
"The dickens 2" cried Folsom, "what
is that ?"
It's the genteel for walking"-replicd
/ she.
The husband said not word, but trudg-
cd on, leading the horse by the long rein,
while Sam, and Dick and little Molly, the
three youngest children, ran whooping
behind
In due time the deacon's house was
reached. 1t was fine day, and large
portion Of the company were out on the
green before the door-telling over the
news, and eating berries from the old tree
near the horse block.
All eyes were directed to the unusual
caValcade. Mr. Folsom sweat profusely
Mrs. Folsom reposed against the high
back of the wagon in sublime Indifference.
"Whoa-hish !" cried Mr.. Folsom,
bringing his beast to stand still. "Now
look here Suke! how be you a going to
get unloaded %
Mrs:F. arose majestically and surveyed
her position.
"Here Zeke, you come here and help,
and sometime I'll do as much for you"
said Folsom addressing a stalwart young
fellow who was talking nonsense to the
bell of the society, across the we'll curb.
A half dozen men came forward, each
one anxious to inspect the fashionable GU
riosity.
"tet me git holt of ye," said Zeke,
"and you hold the hoss, Folsom. Sykes,
you keep her petticoats clear of the wheels
and I'll hoist her out of that jest like a
book"
Release me, Ezekiel you muss my
gound," said Mrs. Folsom waving him
back. 81 viii take hold of your hand
and alight."
She wavered little from side to side
made a final spring, and brought up on
the shoulder of Phineas Dean, an old
bachelor, and the most confirmed woman
hater in the universe.
Her cane made red mark down the
side of Zeke's face. and knocked off Par
son Grub's new beaver her parasol took
flying leap at the back Of the horse,
which set the frightened animal off upon
a canter; the string around the bundle of
tracts burst, and the wind scattered the
two leaved scraps of literature to parts un-
known.
Mr. Dean was Mortified, Mrs. Folsom
clung frantically to his neck while he
struggled with all his might to release
himself
"let go Of me, you wild cat p he cried
striving in vain to unloose her arms.
"Somebody take her off, do! she's
strangling me ! oh, Lord !! that [ should
ever come to this, and with the homeliest
woman in the parish too p
Mrs. Folsom heard and understood this
ungallant speech. No woman will bear
to have her good looks made light Of
She dealt Mr. Dean a stinging blow in
the face.
"Take that you old niggered face
donkey p cried she, "and that, and that"
following up the onslaught with second
and third blow.
Peggy Prime, an ancient maiden who
years ago had set her cap for Phineas
Dean and was still supposed to entertain
lurking tenderness for him, rushed
forward and seized Mrs. Folsom by her
waterfall.
"Let go of him, or I'll"
She did not finish the threat, for the
waterfall came off on a sudden, and Peggy
went over backwards into the watering
trough.
In the confusion, Mr.. Dean made his
escape, and Mrs. Folsom finding that her
pink dress was hanging in shreds, and
the crowniDg part of her head dress was
among the missing, submitted to be load
ed into Deacon Rabbits wagon and sent
! home.
She never essayed gentility after that.
1t took too much time, she said, and did
not pay for the trouble.