The Iowa transcript. (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1858-1866, 1865-12-13
s'agifsn GotamN.

HISTORICALLY ny dld j ohn HuSS die q
more agreeable death than Charles NlI' Rocsus,
hot steak is better than cold chop.
FIGuRAT1vn WIr-Pnnch asks "Why is
Fanianism hotl" and answers, with wit too rar,
Of late in its columns, (" Because it is 9s in tn.
shade"
PRENTICE oUT-rRENTiCEp - Prentice
says that as a man drinks lac generally grows reck
less; in which case aGd, the Boston Post the more
drains the fewer scruples.
A SErrLER.-G Butler went to Wash
ington short time ago TO settle np;' but ar
irving there, he concluded to settle down." We
nope the setil not set ill with him.
Look OUT, LADIES Al exchange SAYS
that waterfalls are prohibited by English game
laws The clause, which applies to them, runs as
follows Netting the hare Shall be punished by
Imprisonment &C.
DUTIES 70 BEurEs A country exchange
speaking VI preparation which Should be made Tor
shelter of arin1es thr ugh thocpming winter says
" Make kernel far y0ur deg, shoot him, we don't
care which. Do uot omit these dnties to the brutes
around you'
ALIBr PRoyEn.-Can one man be in two
places NJ once2 Private Miles c'Roiliy" tCo c. G.
ialpinel, processes IL lie the resident editor Of q e
tdtsfn. in New York but 4 man Who lives upon the
bank Of the Mississippi viii take his oath that he
sees miles q riley pass his door every morning.
LIGHr LueGAen. - Governor Weller of
arriving in San Francisco he remarked TO friend.
Lost everything sir everything but NV reputation.
Governor, replied his Fl ieud, 'you travel with less
baggage than any man ever saw.
WHAT PENNIES WERE MADE FoR.-Last
Snnd'y little lie. three wears aua half old went
to church for the first tmc. His mother gave him
= penny TO put il the contribution box, which he
did, ard SIT quiet far u few moments, and then
waited e know how tie man was coming
with the candy
4 DEAL TOO Mvcu FOR lIIM-Two sons
of gre, n Erin were standing by hydraulic press
superintendent by friena q mine. when one called
out t. the ether Jim. IA like 10 pm ye nndther
and square the ftrff out d ,ozn "WoRld We ina,de.
my boy?" was the answer "Squaze the divil out
o you. an thered he notting ltt.'
WISER THAN GRANpMA-A little girl
Pennsylvania was lately rcproyea for playing out
doors with boys and informed that being seven
wears old she was Zoo biz for that now but
with NIL imaginable innocence. she replied: why,
Il randIa,. the bigger grow. the better we like
EN-, Grandma put on her spcs.
Nor SO FAR FROM THE Turn. To be
woman o: fashion is Of the easiest things in
tie world. A late writer thus describes il Buy
everything You don't want, and pay fer nothing .ou
get: smile on MI mankind but your husbands be
happy everywhere but at home neglect your chill
dren and nurse lapdeSs go to church every time
you get new dress.
OK CoxcoMB-The Safu, dag Press
iTanhIbes from llV FRENCH tLb ipHOWlHS CnuiCe
epigram
How very contented Augustus must be
81 nicely appsrcle1 perfamei and curled
For he is in love With himself, Won see.
And hasn't rival IN all the world
THE STYLE IN CoLoRADo.-One Of the
leading ministers Of the Territory relates that on
one occasion he was conyersing witha Colorado lady
on the vital subject Of religion and he asked her
whether the consultations and mni-trations of the
church as precious to her III her new home us
in the States. Tuwheh query she responded Gin NJ
irreverent spirit, but simply from force Of ha it,
:. You hetv"
A PRECoCIoUs YoySGsTER.- Mar
shall SIowa> Yin,cS man tells tale about his little
son Our johnny" standing In tho door he other
day. ,aw a COW III the street. Said he. " PA, what
kind # is that with no horns!' "Wh
johnny. she is monley cow Presently she
turned around and Johnny's quick eye discovered
her ,ail was gone why, pa" said he, she Is
moocs behind, tool"
Nor so BAD As 1T USED TO BE.--Ar-
temas Ward says that shooting isn't popular in
Nevada as it once WAS. A few years since they
used TO have dead man for breakfast every morn
ing. reformed desperate told that he sup
posed that he had killed men enough to stock a
grave ward. "A feeling Of remorse'' he said. will
now. l baint Killed a man for over two weeks
What'll yer poison yersef with ~ he added dealing
a resonant blow to the bar.
A NICE EXPERIMENTAL. BERT, in a
| paper forwarded to the French academy of science
says "If the tail OF rat be cnt OF, kinned and
/ then inserted under the skin OF the animal
it will continue to live and grow "a before. If
fracture is effected the fractured parts will join
again just exactly If the tail i'll its natural
place; in short, both phssioiogcally and patholog
caiy, the grated part follows the general laws d
nature
suppose rat-tail file be tried. Doctor. wha.
them Nothing iron cal in this inlniry-oh no!
A GRATIFYING REpoRr.-The McGreg-
or Neos in reporting the proceedings Of a Bible
Meeting, furnishes the following bit Of information
which it pronounces rs very gratifying:'
"rrom this statement OF the Treasurer, we learn
that few years ago, the Society Wass in def t,
Last year this Indebtedness reduced tos and
this year, the Society is ont Of debt, and has
In the treasury. This certainly a very gratifying
state Of things"
We hope this exhibit is MS gratifying to the Soci-
ETY. TO the public. We had thought it would
have blank. dolorous look to them.
COULDN'T Srop IT.-When Gen'l Siilly,
last summer, his expedition 10 the Devils Lake.
passed Fort Eerthod, quite number of Indians had
gathered there 10 see him and make peace. They
complained Of great deal of dry weather and ished
the teuera would make the rain the same Fat her
Dc smet, the missionary that used TO see them, had
done. The General promised them he would do the
best he could 1t happened thar shortly afterwards
a heavy thunder shower passed, flooding very thing
The Indians We're greatly pleased, and called the
General a great medicine man. But they al said IL
little too much at once Well" said the
General, II know il, but couldn't help the thing
after it started,'
CAPITAL Bound TO VIVA "gemman
oh color" belonging to Tehama recently made pill
grimaee to Red Binif for the purpose of procuring
ebony hepmatc. either as a partner in the laundry
business for life, be wasn't particular which Ar
living at his destination, ne made known to the
spouting Ethiope the object Of his visit, aud asked
her consent to the proposition. After turning the
question over in her mind for a moment she came
out with:
Lem, how much capital has you'"
Well, Dinah to tell You dc truf, ESQ only got
four dollars wild me. jes now"
Won't do, Lem, won't dol Sam Johnsing has
got six an cookin' stove. / guess Use gwine 10
hab him"
Poor Lem is still going alone.
EVEN WITH HIM.-According to the Fond
du Lac Press on Of the dctatora landlords Of that
section was Come up with by a smart widow:
How many chi dren have you ln il the general
inquiry when locking after vacant house--as if
parents had no business to have any children-or il
they have, landlords have right to thrust them
aside. We like the story of the good mother who
went everywhere looking for house but her dozen
children were always Oh ection. FINALLY, seeing
khe could not get house, she .ent her children to
the graveyard to remain an honr or two CALLING On
landlord for house, his first inqni was. low
children have youi' The good widow replied, " Nv
children all in the graz eyard" She was instantly
rented the house. and then moved in with her whole
family. When the landlord heard the explanation
he found he was done for, and opened not his Inns
The Great Newspaper, which has done
more than any other modern journal to illustrate
the peripatetic philosopher, is the Memphis Appeal
Our readers will hear with pleasure from the fol-
lowing paragraph in the Army and Nary Journal
that it has now got back 10 il, starting point:
"Among the clearly defined and ineligible signs
Of Reconstruction" is the return to n local habiia.
ton and name Of our old friend the Memphis
Grenala-Jack5on- Meridian Atlanta Montgomery.
Columbus Macon Memphis -tfpeai, whose percgri-
III he war w u1.nIf. v.4tian
had no local, but only an itinerary location: and
not q name, but as many appelIatyes Brigham
foung's wife. il was pilgrim npon the earih-its
editor sort OF Ulysses or Wandering jew among
journalists And as the doomed hero according TO
romance, was filed TO herald the approach of the
plague, so the Appeat became in spite of itself
sheImans ardnt courier Now it returns to Mem.
phis and to private life, and according to its own
account, "being now perfectly ronclal with M