Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1865-10-05
Laugh and Grow Faffities.

IA foot traveller, whose feet were of pro-
digious size, on stopping at country tavern
for lodging, asked the landlord for boot
jack wherewith to remove his muddy boots.
After surveying his foot with much delibera-
ton, the landlord declared that there was no
boot Jack on the premises that would be half
big enough for him.
''Perhaps you've got q forked stick, or
somethin', then," suggested the traveller
''No, there's nothing that would answer
replied the landlord.
"What'sa Teller to do, them" despondingly
asked the traveller.
"pl tell you," answered the landlord,
Frightening up with a new idea, '.just go
back and pull EN- off with the fork of the
road"
An inveterate punster happened to go
into one of the banks the other day just as
the worthy cashier was running up, with his
accustomed celebrity and correctness, q long
column of figures. The waggish visitor saw
the sum completed, and then remarked to the
official, with very grave face, 'sR-, I
understand they think of sending you to the
Worlds Fair as specimen of the American
adder"
Rev. Mr.. Mathews, in his book Of .'all
collections" tells story of Governor Nor
ris and Bishop Moore At dinner party
Mr.. Morris, who was about to set sail for
Europe, said to the Bishop:
My reverend friend, have just made my
will, and have bequeathed to you my whole
stock Of impudence"
Bishop Moore replied, ''Sir, you are not
only very kind but very generous; you have
left me by far the largest portion Of your
estate"
Mrs. Moore, the good Bishops wife imme-
diately added: ''My Dear, you have come
into possession of your inheritance remarks
bly, soon"
......Thackeray, when in the United States,
meeting western man who had been in Eng
land, asked him howsshe liked the country,
every we'll in the day time," was the
quick reply.
"Why, my friend, what is the matter with
it in the night ?''
ooh | never dared to go out in England
after night for fear I should step off the
edge"
......Biddy, while on begging expedition,
was asked by lady if she had any children.
Yes, mum" replied Biddy with great
readiness, Tn the mother of an orphan"
Two Ladies commended, in the court of
Charles v. as to who should take prece-
dence of the other. They appealed to the
monarch, who replied:
'Let the elder go first
We are told that such dispute was never
again heard Of
What is the difference between piece
of honey-comb and a black eye? One is
produced by the la5oring bee, and the other
by 6e2a5ormg
1T live in my charmer's eyes, said a
fop % Colman. 81 don't wonder at it,"
replied George, I" for | observed she had a
sty in them when [ saw her last
....,.saxe, the joker and poet, was once
taking trip on steamer; when he fell in
with lively young lady, to whom he made
himself very agreeable. Of course he made
an impression upon the damsel, who said at
parting, Good bye, Mr.. SAKE, but fear
youth soon be forgetting me.' ''Ah, miss, !"
said the inveterate punster, ''if was not
married man already, you may be sure I'd
be for getting you."
What are you thingink of my mani"
said Lord Hill, as he approached a soldier
who was leaning in gloomy mood upon his
firelock while around him lay mangled thoua-
ands of French and English: it was few
hours after the battle of Salamanca had
been won by the English. The soldier start
ed, and, after saluting his general, answered:
q was thinking, my lord, how many
widows and orphans l have this day made
for one shilling" He had fired 600 rounds
of ball that day.