The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-01-20

NUMBER 4.
Spare Lines

The finest ship 10 the world-Friesd-ship.
Josh Billings says that It !. dollars ilns,
In Cinsinnutta. tow strike hog in anger. 10
There is hog In Cincinnati with hIs ears
so far back that he canthear himself squeal.
A gatc that many man Hnds II difficult
to get over is the aggregate Of bis debts. ss's-
An inspiring sight for gla.ier-the ear.
ly day when It breaks through the windows.
What did the feather. whom Il firstsprout-
ed, say to the duck7 I'm do,rn on you this
time. ....fr
The bleakcst adversitv may bear US to proc
perity. The Artic wanderer may bo aoated
into warm latitude on cake Of leo. sa
Tho door between us and heaven cannot b
opened. if that between US and our fellow
men Is shut. .. ..... ...... ..I
Tho ufier.most parts Of tho earth ore sup
posed to be the parts whero there arc tho
most women.
Always try to havea q worthy competitor.
Set the hare to run with tho tortoise, and he
will probably fall asleep and lose.
II Is not enough that you are praised BY
the good you have failed somewhere In your
duty il you arc not cursed BY the bad.
We have heard much Of the power Of wo-
mans eye, but the eyclids are still more pow
erful; they can wink down reputation.
n you would have your pig weigh heavy.
lead them TO the scales. Then he will BE- pig
led.
He can hardly DO prepared to enter tho
world Of spirits who trembles at the
thought Of enconntcring o solitary ghost.
Judge Richardson once said that "every-
thing was fore known by the Almighty, ex-
cept what would be tho verdict Of petit ju-
ry."
A Yankee, wishing to be understood BY
bis Russian neighbor at table, remarked -
"Mr. Thingumbobski, I will thank you Tor
the pepperdorf. ..r
In Orford. N H.. is tombstone with the
following epitaph upon IL:
ITO all my friends bid adieu.
A more sudden death you never knew;
As was leading the old marc TO drink.
She kicked and killed me quicker'n wink"
Colton's Lacon is addressed 'to those who
think" lad the author substituted fnr
these words "thos, who think they are think
ing" IL might not have had % extensive
tale. although It would have been directed to
much larger class. He has shown address
in bis address.
Sir Godfrey Kneller was allowing Pope.
the poet room full OF the beauties he had
painted. 1t isa pity. Sir Godfrey, said
Pope, that you had not been consulted at
tho creationv Sir Godfrey looked full upon.
Popos humpy shoulders, and replied, Really
l should have made somc things better :"
Punch gives. rs ons reason for Garibaldi's
leaving England so suddenly, that no heard
that Mr.. Tupper "was coming after him to
recite an ode In his honor" Another was,
his being psstercd by tho ladies for auto.
graphs and other memorials. At the time
he departed, he had alre,dy consumed three
mattresses In sending ladies locks Of bis hair.
A Connecticut soldier sends the Hartford
Courant some poetry" which was found in
o rebel camp at Resaca. G,., and 10 entitled
the "RSbcl Soldier" This 10 the FIRST mourn.
ful verse .... ....t.f ..
~ will eat when get hunrrsy will drink vhsnI
get dry
I { the yankis don't oil mo I will live til Id
II Molly forsakes mo II will caus mo TO moarn
am rebel roldier long Wages nom home"
At criminal court, the counsel, dissatis-
fed with his want Of success with IN Irish
witness, complained to the court. Paddy re-
piled. "Sure, an I'm no lawyer, yer honor.
an the spalpsnd only wants to puzzle me-"
"Come, now. do you swear you aro nh law
yer ?''said the council. "Faix an do. an
you may swear tho same about yersolf, too,
without fear OF perjury"
At the trial of Horne Tooke, Lord Eldon,
(then Attorney General) speaking ofhis own
said: "ft Is tho little Inheritance
that have left to my children. and will
loare It unimpaircd." Hero he shed tears;.
to theastonishment Of thoso present. Milford,
the Solicitor. General. began to weep. Just
look at Milford" said q bystander 70 Horne
Tooke; "what On earth II he crying fort"
Tooke replied: "Hc is crying to think what
a little inheritance Eldous children arc like
ly to get"