The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1865-07-21
SAM REST (Which is in the J


SAM REST (Which is in the
Stalt ov NJ Gersy, July u, 1865.
hey bin in Washington, and while
ther WIZ introdoOst to GineraI Mari,
on Sumter Fitzhoo Gusher, nv NIissis
sIPpy. / wu2 anxious meet with q
RepresentatiV Dimekrat NV the South
21nterchange views, to heV soOthin con.
huencls, to unbuZzum, becoz for the
past years the Dimokratik party he1
bin trooly Seckshnal, and the seckshur
it .hez okkepied is not the identikIe
seckshin onto which the orfises is loka,
It'd, and only by perfeck union with
our wunst-loYed brethren NV the South
KIN we ever git onto trooly Nashnel
ground.
Gineral Gusher isa troo gentleman OF
the raal Suthern skool. lie puts G. S,
a. arter his name, onto the hotel regis
Ter, ana his rings, buZZum pin, and the
hed NV his cane, is all made NV the
bones Nv miZable Yankee soldiers who
fell at Bull Run-he sez by his own
hand, and il must be so, for who ever
knode q suthern man to boast Vninglo-
rtously? We met and embraced, weep
i'll perfoosely.
''AlarsV' sobbed the Gineral, "wat a
nitmare hez obskoord our respective
vishuns fer the parst 4 yeers! I wuz
nlluz Union man, Nlluz! nlluZ! alluz
The old flag lovd with more nor pa
RENAL affeckshun-2 me it wuZ more
nor Iifa!"
'Why, then, my Ajacks, sohbed 1,
did You raise your parrsidle hand
agin it?"
'whyP my beloved. Because MY
STAlT Tsecesht, and wuZ carried along
by n torrent NV public opinion which i
Good not stem, and l went with hur.
But its all over. We hev awoke, and
I'm here in the capital NV my beloved
country, under the shadder NV that
glorious flag which is the pride NV
Americans and the terror of all weak
nashens Wich heZ territories cOntigu-
Gus, reddy to talk a oath and resOOm
the citizenship laid orr, and agin run
the Guvment for its own honor and
glory."'
"lIev yoo PARDON" sez I. me
thinks wunst n paper recent my hum
bic village, wich is unanimously Dim
ekratlk-lt cum around u package of
goods from Moo York and i'll that paper
l saw your name, eZ wun NV the Orli-
SerS who Killed the niggers mt Fort
Plller, Am L rite?
You air. I'm gushin child NV
nachnr-Im enthusiastic. Labrin un-
der the same delOOsion that sccesht us.
! bleevd at that time that l wuz dOin a
good thing i'll KILN them property NV
ours that IIinken he'd shoVd bloc kotes
onto. hev no apologies to offer-I am
now writin n justiiicaShen.
81, and speak for thousands NV the
shivelrOus sons of the south who would
liKesa good square meal wunst more, am
wlllin to be consolidated. The Opportoo-
nifty is now offered the Guvernnlent TO
us. Weare returnin prodygle
sOns-kill yoor fntid veel and brinEOut
yo3r g0ldenrings and purple robes and
sich. We ask cOndishuns-we shel in
siSt on terms, but we air disDoSed To -be
We air willin To aISnowI9
edge the sooprcmacy of the GuVern-
ment, but there must be no hUmilia-
shen. A proud. high-spirited people
ike us WORT stand it-no sir, we can
not. Ther must be no hangin, no con-
hscation, no disfranchisin. We air will
I'm TO step back jest az we slept out, re-
sOomin our old status, trusting to engi-
neering to get sich other pints az air
not here enoomeratid. Without them
condishuns the union wood not be one
ON hardwood be holler mockerv,
Wat we air goin for is union foundfd
on luv, which is strongerer and more
soldier than muskits. Harts is trumps
let the platform be hearts and all is
WELL"
"But, General, /" sez 1, sin all this wat
do yoo perpose for us northern Dino
crats?"
"Towards them our bowls melt with
luv. We forgive yOo. If yoo kin talk
the old attitoOd, we'll and good, efnot-''
"HOld" sez !, "don'L threat. A gin
uine northern dimekrat wants but little
here below, but wants that little long.
Give him small post ortis, n nigger-
driver to look up to, and a niggcr to
look down to, and he is supremely
happy. Eff angle in glory wuz to
offer to trade. places with him, harp,
Odds"
"Uv course them positions yu kin
hev-we don't want EN-. All we ask is
otitsis eZ hawty, hfgh-toned men kin
efford 2 to take, and yu uns kin hev the
rest. .'-i
"But wun thing must be understood.
The scenes of the Charlestun Conven-
shun must never be re-enactid-there
must be no more Duglissis. Under the
new dispensnShun yu dance whenever
We fiddle, askin no questions. The
suthern hart must never agin be fired
it would consume itself.
"EZ soon eZ heV took the oath,
shel immejitly go hum and run for Con-
gris-see tn it thet yu hev enuff dimi-
krats ther that we, jintly, kin control
things. Wv coarse, in n Union NV luv,
ther must be equality. Linllin'S war
debt must never be pade, unless ourn
iS-his hirelins must never be pension
ed unless our patriots is. Wat a delite-
full spelStakle Men who yesterday wus
a gougin each uther onto the feeld NV
battle, to-day II drawin penshuns ami
knbly, from the same treasury! The
eagle wud flap his wings with COY, and
angels wud eXclame, ''Bullyw I am
disabled from wounds received on the
feeld, and rejoice that our penshun
law is so libral.
"Go home, my friend, and marshel fer
the conflict. Tell yOOr centred commit
tis to collect expense mummy, and /,
and Ginral FOrist, and Kernel Moseby,
and Champ Ferguson, and Dick Tur-
ner, and Boregard, and perhaps that
noble old hero, (take Orf yoor hat while
pernounce his gellorus name,) Ginral
Robert f. Lee, will cum up and stump
the North fer yOor tikits. ] hev dun.
1 CO."
3'NobIe man, thOt I, ez he stalkt ma
gestically away, takin, int abstractin
manner, my new hat and umbreller.
HE old N1-1InSs GSNHrhn 20