Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-05-11
M(is&rllaneous,
Josh Billings on COurting.

Courting is a luxury, it is Use water, it is
the pla spell Of the sole. The man who
has never courtcd has lived in vain he has
been blind man among land -scapes, and
microscopes, he has been a def man in the
land of hand organs, and by the side of muir
muring canals. Courtin IL like two little
springs ov water that start out from under
a rock at the foot of mountain, and runs
down hill side by side, singing and danciag
and spattcring each other, eddying and
frothng and haskadng, now hiding under
the bank, now full of shadder, till bymeby
tha jine, and then they go slow. | am in
favor of long counting; it gives the parties a
chance to find out each uther's trump cards.
1t Is good exercise, and is Just a. innocent as
= merno lambs.
Courting is like Strawberries and cream
wants to be did slow, then you get the fla
vor. | have seen folks get acquainted, fall
in lvv, git married, settle down, and git tn
work, in three week from date. This is jist
the way some folks larn tradc--akountS
for the CRATE number ov almighty mean me
chanicks and the poor Jobs tina turn out.
Perhaps it is best to if | should state
some good advice to young men who are
about to court with view to matrmony,
as it was.
In the fust place, young man, you want
to git your system awl rite, and then find
a young woman who is willing tew be cour-
ted on the square.
| The next thing is to find out how old she
IL, which you can dew by askin her, and she
will sa she is years old, and this you will
| find won't be far from out of the wa.
The next best thing is to begin modcratc
sa onse every mite in the week fur the fust
six months, increasing the dose as the pa
Shcnt seems tew require.
1t is a fust rate wa tew court the girl $
mother leetle on the start, for there is one
thing a woman never dispises, and that is
a lcetle good counting, if it is done on the
square. After the fust year you will git ac-
quaintcd and will begin to like the bizness.
There is thing | alwas advice, and that
is not to swop fortygraffs oftener than onst
in every 10 daze, unless you forget how the
gal looks.
Occasionally you want to look sorry and
draw in your wind as tho you had pain; this
will set the girl to teezing you to find out
what ails you.
Evening meetings are a good thing to
tend: 1t will keep your religion in tune,
and If your gal happens to be there, by ac
cidcnt, she can ask you to go homo with
her.
AS gincral thing | wouldn't brag on
other gals much when | was courten. 1t
might look as tho yu knu tew mutch.
lfyou will court three weeks in this wa,
all the time on the square, if you don't say
at is the sleekest time in your life, you can
go to the "Yung Amerika' checp stoar and
get measured for plug hat at my expense
and pa for it.
Don't court for money, nor buty, nor re-
lashuns those things are Just about as the
kerosene lie refining bizzness, liable tcw get
out of repair and bust at emmy minute
Court gall for fun, for the luv you bear
her, for the virtue and Dizziness there IL in
her; court her for wife or for mother,
court her as you would court farm for the
sile, and the perfection Of the title; court
her as tho she want iiule and yu an other;
court her in the kitchen, over the wash-tub
and at the pianncr; court this wa young man
and if you don't git wife, the fault won't
be in the courtin.
Young man, you can rely on Josier Bill
lings, and if you kant make these rules
wurk, .iist send for him, and he will show
yu how the thing is did--it shant cost you
sent.