The Portland daily press., 1865-01-03

or Dumas ready wit andloye OF joke many
instances might be cited, the said jokes not
being always relished by those TO whom they
are addressed. Thus, being, much diverted
when 10 Madrid by seeing how proud the Mad
rlenes are of their river, though It's bed Is dry
the greater part Of the year, Dumas having de-
manded glass Of water one day In q cafe,
| frank about half the water and handed back
the glass TO The waiter. "Carry the rest TO the
Manzanaries. with my compliments" i" said Du-
mas to the waiter, "a little water will be q
| Welcome novelty TO your great river ~ The
waiter seemed more than half inclined TO throw
| the contents OF the glass ia the joker's face
| and everybody in the cafe evidently shared in
his Indignation, and several voices informed
him that ii he "wished to keep q whole skin,
he had better not indulge In such insulting re-.
marks for the future" sa,l sssg1s ar N
Dumas jokes are taken in better part by the
Parisians as witness an incident which oe-
| Cured here q short time ago; when one MORN
ing, Dumas was still asleep, an impoftunate
debtor contriyed to force his way into the ro-
mancer's bedroom, and installing himself in
an easy chair at the head of the bed, exclaim-
| ed, "GOod morning, my dear Monsieur Dumas!
| am enchanted to have, at last, the pleasure
of finding you at home--a pleasure Iihave
sought 10 vain for the last six monthsp p Du-
mas, thus abruptly reused from his slumbers,
turned his head partly round towards the
speaker opened FIRST one eye and then the
others but said nothing.
Don't you know me. my dear Monsieur
Dumas ?" inquired the creditor. sna9
Perfectly, my dear Sir replied Dumas, ~
was looking, only yesterday, at your bills, and
was wondering how / could possibly have
managed to wear such a number of coats and
trousers. TO- say nothing Of the waistcoats
take great care Oi certain portion of the
bills sent me, p added Dumas, fand yours are
among those take care Of But though 4
have so great regard for your hand writing,
I assure yon, frankly, that had you failed 70
impose on me the pleasure of a personal In
terview for another six months, Ishould have
borne the deprivation with perfect equanimi-
typa 81 . sl as5 a46s aa faa "a - ~
g The unfortunate tailor, anxious to get his
money, but equally anxious not to lose so dis
tinguished customer, began to assure Dumas
that he was really In great need of funds, that
he had engagements to meet, and entreated
the romancer to pay bis bill, e (
is u wonld pay you with pleasure said Du-
mas, ssbut am ahsolutelye dry just now. ]
positively have scarcely franc in my posses
sion" 7sf s-st ~ A1safi+A e93' ~ rssa1 7
"But you must have money" urged the tai
Tor. Everybody knows that your pen brings
you immense sums. Give me, at least, an In
stallment OF the amount you owe me I" sia
hiHPests,' cried Dumas, show perseyering
you are Every sou / have In hand at this
moment is in my purse; my purse is in the
LETT hand pocket OF my waistcoat. One Of
those, my dear Sir, In your terrible bill. That
waistcpat i on the couch close to your elbow.
Take the contents Of my purse, and leave me
to finish my nap. am particularly fond of
my morning nap, and shall not be happy all
day If you deprive me of it.1iisa ;sa99 ~
The tailor thus invited eagerly grasped the
Waistcoat, drew out the purse opened it and
found, to his great disgust, that 1t contained
only three napoleons, and two or three small
silver coins. ~ ~. saa iaq4 aI aai sai
IS Pay yourself, my dear Sir" said Dumas,
fture Of his creditor. used 1s.is sss5 6lifs
a II can't accept such paltry sum as this -
cried the tailor, In voice expressive Of his
Vex8tl0n. l5s egQi .d sb a13I 4ansff 49,
Il havn't another soain my possession = re-
turned Dumas. There Is really one thing
can do for you. Do you see d key--a little
one, in the pocket from which you have taken 4
the purse ~ aia iss .isas bl.l-I.5Sslt N
The tailor opened the drawer and looked
eagerly into 1t, expecting. to see rolls of gold
pieces and bank-notes. But alas? the draw
er contained no money Of any kind, being
about halt full Of letters, thrownin pellmelI,
and looking uncomfortably like tradesmen's
{ bills. HsE lisafa9 MA vleW s..a4s..s sisi f q
5'NPut your bill in that drawer with the
others" said Dumas, In Q patronizing tone,
"That Is the drawer into which / put the
/ bills that really intend to pay as fast as
can, and In the order In which they reach me.
Il is, as ], said just now, the only thing I can
do for you." ils.ss1esH IS ,,ss
3 And pray, Monsieur Dumas, do all 1your
bills go into this drawer ?" inquired the credi
.Itor. ,-s-ss ~ x .1.' s. = 7,.'as3 ns'is /"
Certainly notp returned Dumas, 81 divide
all the bills that receive into three catego-
sries. Those which intend to pay, those that
/ am determined not to pay, and those abont
which am doubtful. The first / put into
the drawer yoH have opened the second i
put into the fire; the third put into another
drawer, taking them out occasionally to de-s
eide whether shall burn them or put them
into the oiher drawer for payment. When
once bill is put into the drawer for pay
ment, 4 never again hesitate about 1t; it is as
good as paid. for paid, 1t Is most sure to be
when its turn comes, and ] have the money.
You see, my dear Sir, that the payment of
your bill is only matter of time; and now,
having this certainty before your eyes, must
beg you to bow yourself out and leave me to
finish my morning sleepw0n sRs6a
Suiting1 the action to the word, Dumas
therebpon turned his face towards the wall,
and drew the bed clothes about his head and
the tailor, seeing that nothing further could
be done with bis imperturble debtor took his
| departure. 3s 'os ltag - lolsSss