The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-11-03
5BIDDEF0RD, ME-, FRIDAY MORNING,
MisfeIlaueuns., },
CONCERNING spoNeEs,

the appearance and qualities OF tho sponge -
The distinguishing characteristic Of the sponge
is in capacity Of absorbing water. II has O
great imbibing power In this 1t is second only
to the habltues Of city rum saloon or o vii.
lage tavern. Tho learned tell US that it is an
animal, and II so 1t must be like the Irish
mans alligator-.sa haste that was all mouth
except bis tail, and that was all mouth too"
Il Is because Of the wonderful capacity for ab.
sorption which some men are endowed with BY
nature, or acquire by long and cucccssful prac-
tice, that they have been denominated sbongcs.
Such persons have the faculty and skill Of
imbibing all that Is necessary for their main
tainance, either in Q physical mental or moral
point Of view, with sang Jroid and matter Of
course sort of air, which 10 wonderful to be.
hold. .i" ....'.. .. r.
For instance, in the first year Of my minis
try-I am Baptist minister, reader-a man
drove up to my gate one terrible rainy after
noon, threw the rains over the horses neck, and
knocked at my door, I opened it and he said !:
"Ts this the Rev. Mr.. Gladius?"
"Yes SIR" .r. .... ...
"well brother G., my name Is Elder Sponge,
lam on my way to the general association, and
I thought would stop over night with you.
am very wet, SO please take my horro to your
stable, and give him eight Or ten ears of corn,
and run my buggy under cover"
Dear reader was greener then than am
now, and did II. When came back to the
house, I found brother s. comfortably seated,
with his muddy boots on the round OF ono Of
my parlor chairs, and his dripping umbrella
standing upon the pretty rug my vile was at
such pains to make. went into the kitchen
just In time to hear that lady tell our littlo
hired girl to 20 to the store quarter Of a mile
away, and get some black tea, for brother s.
had told her that he could't drink any other.
An old friend Of mine, the son ofa Baptist
minister, told se once that when he was boy
he used TO think that he had curricd the horses
and blacked boots Of every Baptist minister in
Ohio. He said the stock Of chickens became
50 reduced by the visits Of these travelling
angels ofthe Sponge Persuasion, that there was
left one loug.leggcd wary old rooster, who be-
came 80 suspicious that the instant he caught
sight Of o sponge coming over the bill, with
wide extended wings and yellow legs and feet
scattering the dust in clouds behind him, he
took to the woods, cackling at the top Of his
voice-my turn noxt-my turn next"
have already alluded to the air with
which the sponge inaicts himself upon you.
lie really seems to think that he Is doing you
a great favor, and that you ought to be overo-
whelmed with the sense Of the honor due yon
by his visit, Mrs. Gladius can't stand that.
Mrs. Gladius is very nice woman and worry
clever woman, but not long ago she expressed
herself to me somewhat forcibly In this wise
III didn't care 50 much about that man !. Q,
Br. Spouge) staying here week, or about his
blacking his boots on the window sill, or about
his nasty pipe in tho parlor, or making me get
soft boiled eggs and toast for him every morn.
ing. could stand his detestable sanctimon-
ious shuttle when he prayed, but to think Of
his squeezing my hand when he left, and tell.
ing me il must afford me great pleasure TO carry
out the Apostolic injunction In Hebrews, l3 3.
and telling mo that would have my reward
that can't stand, and won't stand, there,
now!" rI. ..
If these Spongea were always upon religious
or denominational business, 1t would not bo 80
bad but generally they arc peddling books,
selling roapers, or hawking rat traps about the
country. It Is astonishing what demands they
will mako Of ono. once received letter like
this: IN .a-.r. nr1 ssr.g,
D .rafa "SPoSoEyILLE, Aug. s.
Rev. NJ. Gladius: Dear. Br.-I am o Bap-
tist In good standing, and am engaged in the
commission business. Can you inform me
what 10 the price Of beans In your village
An early answer will greatly oblige,
Yours in the bonds Of Gospel love,
" A SPoNoE."
The following was the reply: ~ "A
y "Mr. A. Sponge: Dear SIR, Yours OILS re-
ceived. No. Send mo stamp to pay for the
postage Of this letter. -...-.., ...,......ly q.
'' A still moro summary dealing Is that Of my
friend, Rev. Muscular Christian. Ny frisnd,
boards at village hotel. and pot long since he
was visited BY tall solcmn-looking individual,
who announced himself rs the general agent Of
the Aurora Borelis Aid Commission for sup
plying tho destitute inhabitants Of the. North
pole with palm-loaf fans and ice-crcam frcezers.
He also said that he supposed that II was con.
venient for him to stay there until he could
present the subject to tho churches.
Certainly, tso landlord would bc happy to
entertain you" blandly responded my friend.
"Ah yes, bu. want tostop with you. Ial.
ways stop with the ministers.
"well, will let you occupy one Of myrooms
for dollar and half a day." > rcis
"But I don't mean that | mean for you to
entertain me as other ministers do; they don't
charge me anything" ~ 'r ~, air ..,a. 49,.
With that my friend turned and looked him
square 10 The Iaos and said: a a.i..I. l.i
"whss is your salary siri 4 ,,,. 2 ~. ar,5l 5f.
"Two thousand dollars . year and my az
pencss paid" i'.r oto, n. , s'i.a ~, ..o. ~.
2 "well sir. my salary is just eight hundred
dollars year. r.and IL you don't leave this room
Instantly, shall proceed TO put you out"
r "what!" calculated the general agent, lit
ing up his hands In holy horror. "is that the
spirit Of the gospel Is this fulfilling tho injuoo'
ton ofthe apostle, A much - lissn "''n'n
you, live psaosbly with all men. = .
"Maybs not" replied my frisnd.-"Bus !
am very sure that the apostle mover meant oil