The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1865-06-24
sur LUvENGOOD,s SHIRT.

crossing the Hiwassee,) weaving along"
iii bis usual rambling, uncertain gait
His appearance at once satisfied me that
something was wrong. He had been
sick, whipped in free fight, or was Just
out-growing one of his big DRINKS. But
upon this point was soon enlightened.
why, SUIT; what's wrong now?'
Heaps wrong, durn my skin Ell L
hain't most dead Lite off that ar boss,
George, an take horn while take two,
Shaking that everlasting flask OF bis at
me. an plant yerself on that ar log, an
III tell We eff ken; but it's most beyon't
tellin. Ireckon I'm the darndest fool
out on Etaw, scept my dad, for he's acted
boss an haint dun that yet-allers in
SUN trap that cudent koch a sheep. I'll
drown myself sum day, see eff | don't,
Just to stopa family dispersition to make
id fools on themselves"
How is it, Sut; have you been playing
cards, or drinking, which is itl"
Nara one; that can't be did i'll these
parts; seein' it's you, George, I'll tell YOU
but swlr I'm 'shamed-sick-sorry, and
-and-mad, | am.
You know boards with Bill Carr, at
his cabin on the mountain, an pays for
SIGH as | gets when | hev money, an
when | hevent eny, why he takes one
third owe it outen me in cussen'; and she,
rhlt's his wife Belts, takes out t'other
two-thirds with the battlin' stick, and
the intrust with her tung, an the ln-
trusts more'n the princip'l-heap more.
She's the cussedest oman | ever seed eny
how furiaw, breedin' and pride. She can
scold blister on a bulls face rite on the
cnrl i'm two minits She out breeds ey'ry
thing on the ruver-an' patterns arter
evry fashion she hears tell on, from bus,
sis 10 briches Oh! she's one OF em and
sometimes she's two or three. Well, We
see, I'd got some home made cotton truck
10 make new shurt Outen, and coaxed
Belts tn make it, an about the time IT
wur dun, here comes Lawyer Johnson
along, an axed fur breakfus-I wish it
had piZenpd him, durn his hide, an ]
wonder didn't for she cooks awful mix
ems when she trys. Pm pizen-prOof my
self, (hOlding up his flask and peUpmg
through it, III I'd been ded long ago.
Well, while he was eatin', she sped
ont that his shut was stiff an nifty slick;
so she never rested till she worm it ont
en- him that preparation owe flower did
il, 'en she got few particulars about the
proceeding tn outen him by 'oman's art
Il don't know how she did it, perhaps
he does Arter he left, she sot in and
billed big pot ovpaste, nigh unto peck
owe it, an Souzed in my shut an let il
soak awhile; then she tuck it an ironed
it out tlatan' dry, an sot it upon its aidge
again the cabin in the sun. Thar it stood
as stiff as dry boss hide, an 1t ratified
like a sheet owe iron, 1t did 1t wur
pasted together all over. When cum
tn dinner, nuthin wud du but Unjust put
it on. Well, Belts an me got the thing
open arter some hard work, she pullln' at
one owe the tails an me at luther, an |
got into it Durn the everlastin new
tangled shut say. felt like I'd crawl
ell inter an old bee gum an hit full owe
pisants; but it wur like Lawyer John
sons an stud it like a man, an went tn
work tn build Belts ash hopper,
worked powerful hard an SWEET like Il
boss, and when the shut got wet it quit
its hnrtn' Arter got dun, | tuck about
four fingers owe red eye, an crawled mp
into the cabin loft tn take Il snuz
well, when walked up l thot was
ded, or had the cholery, fur all the .iints
| cud muve were my ankles, wrists and
knees-couldn't even muve my head an
skasely wink my eyes-the cussed shut
wur pasted fast onto me all over from
the pine owe the broadaX collar over my
ears 1t sot me as clost as poor kow dus
her hide in March Isquirm'd an strand
till | got it sorter broke at the shoulders
an elbows an then | dun the durnest
foolishest thing ever did in these noun
tains shuffled my britches off an tore
luse from my hide about two inches owe
the tail all round i'll such pain and tribu-
lation Oh but it did hurt Then
tuck up plank outen tho loft au' hung
my legs down thru the hole an nailed
the aidge ov the floor before, an the hind
tail nailed TO the plank what | sot on
onbuttoned the collar and ristbands,
raised my hands way abuv my he'd, shut
up my eyes, said grace, an iumpt thru tn
the ground floor.
Here SUIT rumlnated sadly.
George, Pm durnder fool than ever
dad was, Hoss, Honets, an all. I'll
dyownd myself sum owe these days, sec
If don't"
We'll, go on, Sut, did the shirt come
OFF,
1t him -it--did | hearn
d noise sorter like tarin' shingle run off
owe a house all at onst, an felt like my
quits an bones war all that reached the
floor / staggered tn feet an tuck look
up at the shut The nails had all hilt
thar holt, an thar it wur haugn' arms
down inside out, an as stiff as ever. 1t
looked like a map owe Mexico jist arter
one OF the wurst battles-a patch of my
hide about the size owe dollar an half
.bill here; bunch owe my har about the
size of a birds nest thar then some more
skin, then some paste; then little more
har; then heap owe skin; then mote har
then skin, an 81 on all over that burned
new tangled, everlastin' infurnai cuss owe
a shut. 1t war picture TO look at--an
so wur |. The hide, har, an past wer
bout ekeally divided atween me an hit
Wonder what Belts, durn her, tho't when
she cum home an f0un' me miSsin. =
Spects she thinks | crawled intu the
thickets an died owe my wounds. Ii
must az shared her good tnr | tell You 1t
looked like the skin owe sum wild beast
turn off alive, or bag what had kerrled
load owe fresh beef from sh0otin
match.
Now. George, eff ever ketch that
lawyer Johnson out III shoot him, an of
.yer any oman talks about flat'uin' q