davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15
A Scene In Church.

Meddling with others sometimes bring:
us into scrapes, and thereby one of the ell
ders of the church made 'bad worse. A
young fellow entered the church, and took
his seat with his hat on. An elder, noti-
cling it, stepped up, and requested him to
take it off. His request not being compiled
with, he came to the young man the second
time and, seeing he still hesitated. the elder
gently lifted it off, when to his the elder 5
chagrin, out rolled quart of hickory
on the floor, making more noise than wa,
consistent with the rules of the church.
"Nlan," quietly responded the young
man, 'see what you have done !"
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15
Pulling a Tooth.

"Well, doctor" said chap suffering
with the tooth ache, how much do you ak
for the job =? By Jove but you done it
quick, though +"
My terms, replied the dentist, 'are
fifty cents. "
Fifty cents, for one minute work -
Fifty cents, by Jove! Why, doctor dowt
at our place drawed tooth for me tive
years ago, and it took him two hours. HI
dragged me all around the room and lost hi
grip half dozen times. | never seet
such hard work--and he charged me onl
quarter. Fifty cents for minute work
Oh, git ont you must be ,iokin !"
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15

An cntcrprislnR lover gives inc rchuefS OF VI
Home Journal pleasant bit of autobiograpi
M follows:
"The pic nic's all behind us, Kate;
Twill take them long to find us, Kate;
There's world of bliss in a harmless kiss,
And no one near to Ind us, Kate"
Her sweet face took ruddier hue:
A hasty backward glance she throw;
She did not speak but on her cheek
The crimson tint still richer grew.
Then mute She stood, with downcast eyes,
As fair MS nymph in maiden guise;
Just then some evil disposed young del
My lips possessed by some surprise;
And stole kiss before could
Prevent the sauce-boy, II would;
why, Barry Brake, how can you take
Such liberties here In the wood?
"It's quite too bad besides, how queer
That we're alone together here!
Come, let us go-right well you know
drather have the others near
A glance cleaned from her bonny eye,
That tempered well the curt reply;
With gentle haste about her waist
My arm crept eagerly, buy shy.
But how it thrilled my heart to hear;
ooh, Barry, don't!' mo, Kate won't"
Alas but yet did, fear!
I kissed her hand, kissed her brow,
I kissed her dewey mouth and now
With this for this, and kiss for kiss,
She paid In usury, trow +!
Then all her form was love possessed,
And fondly to my heart she pressed;
With blushing face and free embrace
She clasped me to her heaving breast.
The picnic was behind us, Kate:
II took them long to f1nd us Kate:
We proved what bliss was In kiss,
And no one near to mind us, Kate.
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15

who are willing to do him justice will for a
moment deny. Let him be heard before
he is condemned. Let rational men wait
for full knowledge Of the facts as well as
the circumstances under which he acted,
ere they. bestow censure upon one who has
shown himself so great and good. 1t it be-
lieyed by those who know him best that he
will emerge from the thick mists which now
envelope him, like the morning sun in its
brightest glory, only to shine forth in mag
nifcence and beauty, the wonder and admi-
ration of the world. OBSERVER
Cry HOTEL, n. O., May 2, 1865.
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15
An Old Soldier.

The Washington Republican says We
saw on duty at Fort Washington recently,
Sergeant Joseph Cameron, who has been
in the service since lS06, two years longer
than General Scott. He has been on duty
at Fort Washington constantly during the
last thirty-six years, Sergeant Cameron
was born on the 10Th Of April, 1870
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15
A Pain without Putty.

An Irish glazier was putting pane of
glass into a window, when groom, who
was standing by, began joking him, telling
him to mind and put in plenty of putty -
The irishman bore the banter for some time,
when at last silenced his tormeuter by,
"Arrah, now, be of wid ye, or else I'll put
pain in yer head uidout putty -
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15
Western EIOquenCe.

The following specimen of western elo-
quence" is the closing paragraph of the in
augural address Just delivered by the mayor
of Indianola, Iowa
with these few derogatory remarks,
gentlemen, tender you my diabolical CON
gratuations and subside into a useful and
union-loving citizen of this great and con,
glomerated republic.
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15
HDOn.t Want TO.''

Ny wife tells the truth three times day
remarked jocose old fellow, at the same
time casting a vero mischevous glance at
her. Before rising in the morning, she
says-"O, dear, must get up, but don t
want to. After breakfast she adds
well, | suppose must go to work, but ]
don't want to- and she goes to bed saying
There, | have been fussing all day, and
haven't done anything.
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15
"Finger-nails.' -

''Do you keep nails here?" asked sleepy
looking lad, walking into one of our hard
ware stores the other day.
"Yes," replied the gentlemanly proprie-
tor 1--WE keep all kinds of nails What
kind will you have, sir, and how many2'
well, said the boy sliding towards. the
door, "Ill take pound of finger nails, and
about a pound aud half of toe nails,
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15
Insurance..

A company has opened an Office in Bos
ton to insure women from dying old maids
The rates Of premium differ according L
looks and disposition. While a smart It'd,
girl is insured for two per cent brazen, i'll
natured spinsters are charged in some in
stances as high as ten.
P. S.-Whcre snuff is used, one per cent
extra is charged.
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15
"AXIetrce.

"Bob, Harry Smith has one of the great
est curiosities you ever suw.'
Don't say so-what is it ?"
- tree that never sprouts, and becomes
smaller the older it grows.
"Well, that's curiosity. Where did he
get it?
From California.
''What is the name of it p
"Axletree-t once belonged to Califor-
MIA omnibus !"
Scene closes by Bob throwing an inkstand
at half closed door.
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15
kissing.

Girls sometimes put their lips ou. be-
cause they are angry, and sometimes be-
cause they are disposed TO meet yours half
way.-Er.
We pass on the first. speak for a full hand
on the second deal. 4 very good way is
that halfway.
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15
With Pleasure.

\ gentleman burying his wife. friend
asked him why he expended so much on
her funeral.
"Ah, SIR replied he, "she would have
done as much, or more. for me, with pleas
ure' -.
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15
ASplendid A Horse.

A gentleman having horse that started
and broke his wife's neck, neighboring
squire told him he wished to purchase it for
his wife to ride upon.
"No, no, he is a splendid horse, said the
other, 81 will not sell the little fellow, be-
cause inted to get married again mysef
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15

A Charleston maiden-Miss Ramsey
aged eighty-four years-granddaughter Of
Henry Laurens-still retains the table on
which the Declaration Of Independence was
signed
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15
A Bachelors Toast.

Bachelors are not antirely lost to the re-
fnement of sentiment, for the following
toast was given by one of them at public
dinner
The Ladies-Sweet-briers in the garden
of life. :"
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15

'We frequently hear of our generals
capturing pieces Of artillery What's the
use of continually capturing pieces ?' says
Mrs. Partington. "Why not capture whole
ones ?'
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15

"B bachelor of 80 years writes to the
Country Gentleman for recipe for bean
soup. A lady correspondent replies, "Ge;
a woman that knows how to make it. -
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15
Taking MediCfne.

Now, wife, do take this medicine, and
I'll be hanged if it doesn't cure you.
"Oh, will take it, then by all means,
for it is sure to do good one way or the 9th
err
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15

Sink not beneath reverses. Play the
game of life boldly. Here at least, you may
sometimes copy the gambler, who doubles
the stake as fasta he loses.
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15

Prayer should be diligent, unceasing, un-
tiring, ever withstanding suspicion, unbelief
and despair.
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15

Selfknowledge is the most difficult of all
knowledge, and self-government the most
difficult Of all government.
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15

A boy in Ashley Falls, Massachusetts,,
sucked thirty-eight hen-eggs on wager,
and offered to take down a dozen more for
dollar
A lad of thirty-fiv summers, in this sec
ton made gastronomic disposition of nine
teen hard boiled eggs and one pound OF
crackers 1t wasn't very good day for
! boiled eggs, either.
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15

Women and Watches 1t is remarkable
that women are a good deal like French
watches-very pretty to look at but devilish
difficult to regulate when they once take to
going wrong.
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15

Some persons, as if writing a physician 5
prescription on glass OF medicine, tell us
in what deses, in what spoons, and at what
hours beautiful nature should be taken.
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15

She is happy whose circumstances suit
! her temper; but she's more excellent who
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15

DeuutlIul nature sIOuIu Dt tdhtH.
She is happy whose circumstances suit
her temper but she's more excellent who
can suit her temper to her circumstances.
--------~----
1t is said that one manufacturing estab-
lishment in Patterson, New Jersey, has re,
ceived orders for $500, 900 worth OF OIL bor,
ing machines.
Oil City was founded in 1860 by the
Michigan Rock Oil Company. Previous ia
that il consisted of only tavern and n couple
of small stores. II was incorporated in
| 1862, and now contains about 1000 inhab-
| itants. The present prices tor hotel accom-
modations are three dollars per day for
| horse hire, four dollars for moderate drive
| liquors twenty TO forty cents glass, anC
other things in proportion.
-~s ~--
The statue of Horace Mann has arrived
in Boston, and is to be put up at once oil
the State House plat.
How cheap and honest man character il
acquired.
A noble heart, like the sun, shows it,
brightest countenance in its lowest estate
Honest mirth lengthens life death is oft
en- laughed out of his full intentions.
! Epitaphs are like circus bills, there i,
more in the bills than is ever performed.
A preacher who rambled in his sermon
when requested 10 stick TO his text, replied
that "rcattered shot would hit the most
birds,
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15

The statue of Horace Mann has arrived
in Boston, and is to be put up at once on
the State House plat
Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-06-15

Devoted TO the advocacy OF the principles OF the
Democratic party, and TO gcneraland local news.
The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1865-08-04

HueGINe' TIE WRoNs MAN.-An anus
ing incident occurred at the depot in Nam
chester, N. a., on Monday, which has been
related to US by an eyewitness. A train
had just arrived with a detachment of
New Hampshire soldiers. A blooming
maiden, who was present for the purpose
of welcoming home her long absent lover,
caught sight OF him, and, with outstretched
arms, started to embrace hin. Just at that
moment the crowd had become SO great
that the soldiers were pressed aside, and
the lady, missing her calculations, caught
anothor brouzed hero in her arms, .at the
same time giving him rousing " smack. :"
The soldier, who had never retreated on
the battlefield, started back with fright,
e1claiming IS he did 80, "Who in the
ID are you?" The large crowd in at
tendance, while they sympathized with the
lady in her mistake, could not repress .
hearty laugh at her expense.-Permon,
Record.
The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1865-08-04
NEW SEkJES-NO. oIO

rything not approxim.,;no to II camo
nearer the truth. But wNeonld not make
retrograde movement. hns Rooou.e
your people of the North wes 80 mo;sH
We could not take any step bas. % "a
for that reason we were forced / , ~, ' tha
batteries at Vicksburg, and make = iodo.
ment on the ridges on some of the hInfSs
below Vicksburg. 1t is said protsstaJ
against it, 1t is folly. Inever protes,sJ
in my lie-never. Laughter. On tSa
contrary, General Grant rested on me prob
ably more responsibility even than any
other commander under him. For he
wrote to me, II want you to move upon
Haines' Bluffs, to enable me to pass to the
next fort below-Grand Gulf. hate to
ask you, because the fervor of the North
will accuse you of being rebellious again. {"
Laughter love Grantfor his kindness.
I did make the feint on Haines' Bluff, and
by that means Grant ran the blockade
easily to Grand Gulf and made lodg-
ment down there, and got his army up on
the high plateau in the rear Of Vicksburg,
while you people here were beguiled into
the belief that Sherman was again re.
pulsed. But we did not repose confidence
in everybody. Then followed the move
ment on jackson, and the 4th of July
placed US in possession of that great strong
hold, Vicksburg, and then, as Mr.. Lincoln
said, "the Mississippi went unvexed to the
sea- From that day to this, this war has
been virtually and properly settled-it was
certainty then. They would have said,
We give up" but Davis would not ratify
it, and he had them under good discipline,
and therefore it was necessary to fight
again. Then came the affair of Chicka-
mauga. The army of the Mississippi lying
along its banks were called into new field
of action, and so one morning early got
orders to go to Chattanooga. I did not
know where it was, hardly. Laughter ]
| did not know the road to 90 there. But
I found it and got there in time. Laugh
ter and cheers. And although my men
were shoeless, and the cold and bitter frosts
of winter were upon US, yet must still 60
to Knoxville, to relieve Burnside. That
march was made. A voice: "And you
got there in time.'1 Then winter forced
us to lie quiet. During that winter took
little exercise down the river, but that is
of no account.
The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1865-08-04
Olonzo Ward at Sea.

The New York Sunday Times publishes
a charistic and comical letter from ssAlon-
20 Ward" who processes to be "beruth-
er of the celebrated humorist Artemas
Ward, and who is certainly not inferior in
droll extravaganza to the latter. This
letter purports to have been penned on board
a late European steamer on her outward
passage:
To the Eadyters ct'the Susdoy Times:
AT SEA,
On BOARD THE STEAMSHIP SKosHEY, -
JOON 28th, 1866.
At length can say with the poet Goatty:
Pm Flote
I'm Flote!
On the feerce rolling tied"
The steamer left her berth at Jersey Sitty
this morning at oklok, A. NJ, in charge of
pilot lbred and born in New Yawk. Konse-
quently he nose every BOX and Shole in this
nobul Harber. At Sandy Hooks he left us
amid the blessins and bennydixshons of the
passengers, of which there is 32O soles, 72 on
'em being children.probubly they might be
reckined as II soles, as they pay half prise.
Among the PASSENGERS there is great many
Jews, Spannyards, and Southern Exoils.
There is also one Kwaker and Irish Komme-
jim. Vile write this, the Kommejin is before
my Kabin Dore tryin to persuade the Kwaker
to play Crack. Loo with him for bundle of
She-Roots There is also on bord kupple of
English detectifs returning hoam, and they air
keepin there ize on the Kommejin Just for
pIa.tis.
THURSDAY, Joon 20.
The see has roze-all abord is cik-the
Spannyards patticklery go. Fare reeder, did
you ever kontemplatea a see-cik Spannyard |: he
is not wholesome site. hard shell Baptist
preacher, who during the entire passage has
been readin yeller-kivered book and Iookin
nasty has suddenly caved in; he has just been
carried past my door BY stewards In flu dress.
The poor man has been drinkin whisky to keep
OF see-cikness, and as he is borne below by the
singin:
Amt he glad he got out of the wilderness :"
hard
There is also bridegrume and bridegrumess
on board, and both very elk Fare reeder,
they DO not look nice; it is bout toss up
twixt them and the see-cik Spannyard as too
witch is the cikest--and If there is an dierince,
they have leetle the best Of the see-cik
span" cannot see why peepol come hum
nymoonin on board ship. II peepol viii
hunnym0on, why don't they hunnymo0n ON
shore. Fare reeder, If you ever marry, do not
hunnymoon on steamship; 'taint no place
for 1t. Go to some shady groove-Cooney
iland for instunts there oil will go
merry as marriage Bull
Perhaps, fare reeder, you may want to know
whyI
tx the depe blew see?'
go to get Kurioeitees for my new museyim.
N B.-The 10th mate Just offered TO treat
me, so must Klose this Letter. will drink
your helth, Mr.. Eddytur, in q bumper of
spapk,ip Muzzle.
For old Lank Sign, me bois,
For old Lauk Sign.
OLONZO WARD.
N. R-The see is getting Very Ruff am
sorry drank that muzzle wine. l am goin TO
feel unpleasant Oh! cracky! There!
knew could not stand II OH!!!-l cannot
rite any more-I must throw up my pen.
Q. W.
The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1865-08-04

Arthur Tappan. the well-known aboli-
ZIONIST, formerly of New York city, died in
New Haven, Conn, on Sunday, in the soth
year Of HE age
The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1865-08-04
Reconstruction.

All the States in the Union are new
provided with civil Executives, either
elected or appointed. The following shows
the seven States which have Provisional
Governors, appointed by the President,
with the names of the incumbents and the
date of appointment:
state. PROVISIONAL Corr. When appoixted.
Nortn Carolina. William w. Holden. May 90 1866.
mississippi. William l. Sharkey June 1a, 1866
Georgia. .James johnson. June II, 1865
Texas. ..........A Andrew j. Hamilton June II. 1865.
Alabama. 80. Lewis E. Parsons June 81. 1876
South Carollna. BENJAMIN r. Perry, june 30. 1865
Florida. William Marvin. july 13. 1865
Elections have been ordered in the fol-
lowing OF these States for the purpose of
reorganizing according to the proclamation
of the President:
State. TIVE Of Election Time Of Conren,s,
Mississippi. August ], 1865 August IA 1Ss5
Alabama. .August 81, 1ss5 Sept. TO- 1876.
s. Carolina Nov 60 1866
The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1865-08-04

It was not in human nature that there
should not be a few mois, eyes and pout-
ing lips; and there was q general regret
that there were not more prizes; but the
judges DEGREES were universally approved.
Daily State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1861-1865, 1865-02-08

The army appropriation bill vas considered.
Mr.. Wilsoa offered - amendment to proven
sry Of the money from being p>id for service 4
euch railroad companies a. have received grant
OF laDds 10 build their roads on condition iha
they would transport troops and other rropeT''
OF tie United States free 0f toll
Wilson and Wsshburn supported the amend
men: which aims ct the Illinois Central rail
road
Messrs. Allen sud Grinnell opposed il. when i
WAS agreed to-6. against 81
The committee rose aud the House pa-sed
the fertilization and army appropriation bills
Recess iii Z p m. ~
speech making.
roads built under land grants Mr.. Wilson said
The Illinois Cenr-l Railroad had been nearly
a million of dollars ia debt. That amendment
was unreasonable At the time the Illinois Cen
trail received its charter man contemplated
such state OF affairs a, nov existed. No com
pany on earth would have accepted the grant IL
il had been rendered on condition OF transport
ing so extensively troops and ether property OF
the L
Mr.. washburne said his colleague had gone
into the defense of the monopoly which vas
grinding out his state. That company was
known only by its oppression aud extortion,
having increased to ! cents per mile its freight
proportion. and the road bad received $500 600
from gentlemen without warrant OF Law.
Mr.. GsiBnell opposed the amendment, con
tending that the government could use the road
but the company could not be expected To FUR
nish rolling stock
Daily State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1861-1865, 1865-02-08

Sec. 5. Five days prior to the day on which
any election is held. the trustee shall make OF
cause TO be made in duplicate accurate copies OF
the names OF all electors. With the other facts.
| appearing al tie time, upon said register which
copies shall be open to public INSPECTION aud
conpsrlso1 with the register up to the hour Of
opening the election for which thew we're pre-
pared; they shall then be delivered 20 The custo-
DIV of The clerks Of said election and wbenever
any elec,or presents bic ballot for acceptance b,
the judge and board Of inspectors Of such cleo
ton. tie same shall not be so accepted until the
name Of such elector Is bs said clerks ascer
tanned 20 be on said copies, nor shall the ballot
be placed in the ballot box until after the clerks
shall have written upon said copies in a Column
to be provided for that purpose. opposite the
name Of such elector. the word ''soted" The
said copies aud the said certified decisions in sec
toe 4 provided for. after such election IL com
pleied shall by said clerks. be deposited for pre-
servation in the Office of the county auditor.
SIC. b. FOR the services rendered as required
by this act the township trustee shall be allowed
Tees az follows: For every name Of an elector
aud accompanying facts entered BY him in said
register. as the same shall appear after correc-
tons made IN this act provided, he shall re-
ceive the SUN OF five cents: provided, however
that IN any one volume Of the register provided
for in this ect, no electors name shall appear
registered more than once For every day he
shall be engaged one of the board for the
correction OF errors in said register, he shall re
ceiye the sum of two dollars And for the ser
vices rendered by the justices of the peace. as in
this act provided. each shall receive the sum OF
two dollars for every day be shall be engaged as
one of the board for the correction of errors in
said register. And the board OF county commits
sioners shall make allowances for the said servi-
ces ia the case of the trustee, upon his account
therein rendered and verified by HE affidavit, and
in the case OF justice. BY his account, therein
rendered and certified 10 by the trustee. And
the county commissioners. for their services as
required by this act, shall receive the same pay
they receive now for similar services, and in the
same manner they are now paid
SIC. I. Nothing in this act shall be 80 con
strued as to affect the rights, as the same now eI
ist. OF challenging any vote.
SIC. :. Any officer in this act named who
shall violate any of the provisions Of this act.
shall forfeit his Office and he fined in any sum
not exceeding Eve hundred dollars, or imprison-
ed in the county prison not exceeding one year,
or both.
SIC 9 /, is hereby declared an emergency ex
ists for the taking effect of this act at the ear
Hest practicable period. therefore the same shall
be 10 force from aud after the 30th day OF June.
1865