The Portland daily press., 1865-09-08
Friday Morning, September s, 1865.
sNoRs AND MARRrAaE.

SNOBS AND MARRIAGE. -
Everybody of the middle rank who walks
through this life with sympathy for his com
panions on the same journey-at any rate, ev-
cry man who has been jostling in the world foi
some three or four lustres-must make no end
OF melancholy reflections upon the fate o.
those victims whom Society, that is, Snob-busi-
ness, is immolating every day. With love and
simplicity and natural kindness Snubbishness
isperpetually at war People dare not be hap
py for fear of Snobs. People dare not love
for lear of Snobs. People pine away lonely
under the tyranny of Snobs. Honest, kindly
hearts dry up and die. Gallant, generous lads,
blooming with hearty youth, swell into bloated
Old bachelorhood, and burst and tumble over
Tender girls wither into shrunken decay, and
perth solitary, from whom Snobbi5hneSs has
cut of the common claim to happiness and
affection with which Nature endowed us ALL
My heart grows sad as / see the laundering
tyrant's handiwork. As / behold it swell.
with cheap rage, and glow with fury against
the Snob. Come down, say thou skulking
dullness. Come down, thou stupid bully, and
give up thy brutal ghost And / arm myself,
with the sword and spear, and taking leave OF
my family, so forth to do battle with the hide
our ogre and giant, that brutal despot in Snob
Castle, who holds so many gentle hearts in
torture and thrall. fH a.
When Punch is king, declare there shall
be no such thing as old maids and old bach
elors. The Rev. Mr.. Nautilus shall be burned
annually, instead of Guy Fawkes. Those who
don't marry shall go into the work house. 1t
shall be sin for the poorest not to have
pretty girl to love him.
The above reflections came to mind after
taking walk with an old comrade, JackSpig-
got by name, who is just passing into the state
of old bacheiOrhOod, after the manly and
blooming youth in which remember him.
Jack was one of the handsomest fellows in
England when we, entered together in the
Highland Buhs; but quilted the Cuttykilts
early, and lost sight of him for many years.
Ahl how changed he is from those daySl
He wears waistband now, and has begun to
dye his wliskers. His cheeks, which were
red, are now mottle1; his eyes, once SO bright
and steadiast, are the color OF peeled plovers'
eggs.
7Are you married. Jack?" saysI, remember
ing how consumedly in love he was with his
cousin Lefty Lovelace, when the Cuttyldlts
were quartered at StrathbungO some twenty
years ago.
"MaIriedP no. says he Not money
enough. Hard enough to keep myself, much
more family, on hundred7a-year. Come
to Dickerson's; there's some of the best
Madeira in London there my boy. So we went
and talked over old times. The bill for dinner
and wine consumed was prodigious, and the
quantity of brandy-and-water that Jack took
showed what regular Boozer he was. "a
guinea or two guineas. What the devil do l
care what spend for my dinner?" says he.
Sand Lefty Lovelace?" says /.
Jacks countenance fell. However he burst
into loud laugh presently. "Letty Loveiace"
says he. "She's Lefty Lovelace still but Cad
such wzened old womanl She's as thin as
thread-paper tyou remember what figure
she had) her nose has got red, and her teeth
t1.o1c oIxr
taking pills. Cad, had a rare escape there.
Push round the grog old boy"
Straightway memory went back TO the days
when Lefty was the loveliest of blooming
young creatures; when to hear her sing was to
make the heat jump into your throat; when
to see her dance, was better than Montessu or
Noblet (they were the Ballet Queens of those
days.; when Jack used to wear locket of her
hair, with little gold chain round his neck.
and, exhilarated with toddy, after sederunt
of the Cuttykilt mess, used to pull out this
token, and kiss it, and howl about it, to the
great amusement OF the bottle-nosed old Ma
jor and the rest of the table. 4 ~ sses
"AIy father and hers could not put their
horses together" Jack said. "The general
wouldn't come down sith more than six thou
sand. My governor said it shouldn't be done
ulder eight. Lovelace told him to go and be
hanged, and so we parted company. They
said she was in decline. Cannon She's
forty, and as tough and as sour as this bit of
lemon peel. Don't put too much into your
punch, Snob. my boy. No man can stand
punch after me-" -
"And what are your pursuits, Jack ?" saws |.
"Sold out when the governor died. Mother
lives at Bath. 60 down there once year for
week. Dreadful slow. Shilling whist. -Four
sisters-all unmarried except the Youngest
awful work. Scotland in August Italy in
the winter: cursed rheumatism. Come to
London in March, and toddie about at the
Club, old boy; and we won't 60 home till naw-
aw ming till daylight does appear"
Sand here's the wreck of two lives p mus
ed the present photographer, after taking leave
of Jack Spiggot. "Pretty merry Lefty Love
lace's rudder lost, and she cast away, and
handsome Jack Spiggot stranded ON the shore
like drunken Trinculo." "a
What was it that insulted Nature ito use no
higher name), and perverted her kindly inten-
tions towards them? What cursed frost was
it that nipped the love that both were bearing,
and condemned the girl to sour sterihty, and
the lad to selfish Old-bachelorhood? 1t was
the internal snob tyrant who governs us all,
VINO says, thou SHAFT not love without lady's
mNu Inou shalt not marry without car
rlaSe aud horses; thou sholt have no vile in
thy heart' and no children on thy knee, with
out page IN buttons and a French bO1ine.
Lnou shalt go to the devil unless thou hast a
DIou 5hanl marry poor, and society shall for
SAKE thee; tny kinsman shall avoid thee as a
crlnhlrtl' my uncle and aunt shall turn IN
Their eyes and bemoan the sad. sad manner =,
which Tom or Harry has tnrown him salf
away.
You young woman, may sell Yourself with
out shame, and marry old Croesus. von vonng
man, may lie away your heart and voTr III ~
for iointure, But if you are nooy me-, ~. I,a
to you Society, the brutal Snob autocrat