Weekly Trinity journal., 1865-05-06
My Spring Campaign.

Twenty years ago my aunt asked for the priv
lege of giving her name to the little, ugly mass
of flesh, blood, and contortions, and was dub
bed Betsy Jane Herrick. have been told was
quite pretty child, when my face was straight
land that it was like angels visits, for it was
constantly in squalling attitude). Indeed my
mother told me she never would have had the
patience to raise me if she had not thought
would make something nothing more or less
than a-Bloomer | have the misfortune at
present, to be the only surviving child. The
others There were three of them), being de-
gree crosser than myself, cried themselves to
death-said to have died of fits.
When ! arrived at my fifteenth year my parents
concluded that Betsy Jane needed some polishing !;
and as Farmer Jones was about to send his Julia
to a boarding school, it was decided that should
also have a smattcring of fashionable school
training was already beginning to see that
my cognomen was far from being poctical, so
gave my name to the secretary of the Seminary
as, b. Jennie Herrick." That was enough to
give an apprcciative MUD deep impression OF
my Importance.
Three years spent in conjugatlng the
verb to love through French, German, and Latin,
with out accomplishments of music, drawing and
painting. | never studied much, but my chum
said always rected at my turn so at the close
of School-life, acquitted myself as very good
scholar though not very polished for if want
ed to laugh, it was loud enough to awake mod
crate sleeper quarter of mile away
\ year spent in travelng-a season in looking
at the different dresses in Saratoga and Newport
"A winter divided between the 3" Hub of the
Universe, the d" Pure City," and the " City Of
Brotherly Love" The last year has been spent
at home mostly surrounded by flock of lovers
lovers of Squire Herrick's hospitality and
lovers of nonsense compounded and gilded with
fashion.
A little thing turns the tide of one 5 life some
times A little thing caused me to Look inside
of nv poor miserable lifc--as barren Of beauty
as desert, MS useless and aimless an idiots s,
rs contemplate and deplorable as an office seek
er's 1t made me sick Of myself. My adyant-
ages had been liberal and my talents were of no
mean order And there had been, notwithstand-
ing an unceasing round Of beaux and parties, q
terrible expenditure OF money, and all to no pur-
pose. | was dsgusted with it. 1t was wearying
my life out was growing nervous, hysterical,
had poor appetite. was troubled with that ever
lasting complaint of women 5, the headache
How hated il all
Bat what could do? | thought of a variety
of employments, but it would need time for the
carrying out of such plans. wanted something
immediate for fear my new resoluson might
weaken. If | had been n man ! should have
done as our best and noblest boys have done
gone to the war did the next thing-l went
to war with myself Ny adorable lovers ! could
they endure the trial to which their nerves were
to be subjected They were but human, and a
breeze of sense might blow them away My first
battle WAS with my parents next morning.
| I've a request to make. father and mother,
and very much desire that you may grant It,
Ny face flushed all over at this. could feel the
/ Jingle at the very finger ends.
hat father,
Will Hastings been making
No Will Hastings has nothing to do with
| it, nor anybody will but my own. lis just
| this ! want You TO dismiss our hired girl
there arc only three of US in the family, and
really think we need no girl.
But interrupted my mother, 9 do you
think your poor old mother wants to Kill her
self?'
NO: mean that don't want to kill myself
doing nothing. | have lived uSeieSsly aoou'
! long enough.
There were numberless objections to this, but,
/ bv 6;lircnt entreaty and argument, carried the
dav Three DAYS later assumed the position OF
Bridget But before the morning had elapsed
was tired-yes - my lady was tired to death
/ If went up stairs, one hand must hold up a
quantity of crinoline and skirts. If came down
stairs there was - rat. tat, tat OF the steel
upon the stairs If passed into narrow place,
! both lanl- must nc tUlIsdtu III SuutCAiuE tut
balance into collapsed state. was in constant
fear of tipping boxes, jugs. catching my dress
on nails, or wiping off some convenient black
kettles Ny dress must be pinned up. or beau
tifnllv drabbled around the bottom. My shoe.
were thin for outdoor wear.
| had another battle to fight There were nc
lives sacrtced-ony a few false notions of grace
fitness dignity etc. quietly beheaded and buried
Ny first attack was at the store, and resulted in
the capture of bamorals, calf-skins--No. 5-le.
gally captured, of course. The dress question
occupied my attention next. | had heard Of
bloomcrs, but most ungraciously stuck up my
proboscis at them like hundreds of other foolish
women who know nothing of their excellencies
l did not have any of Dr. Harriet Austin pat
terms or guides-neither wanted any. took
from my wardrobe cast-of dress very good ex,
cept that ii was shamefully switched out around
the bottom. Cutting off the rags and hemming
it up had a dress two or three inches above the
tops of NV shoes. The next morning appeared
in the kitchen sans crinoline, sans tran, SAM
Hummadiddles Cousin John who happens IN 70