Smyrna times., 1865-03-30

a Western humOrist has invested his sur
plus funds in the Mud Hen Lake Companv."
and advises others to do the same. He says;
" This company, accordin to its prospecticus,
is the Knee Plush Ultry. 1t has 10000. OO0
akres and half perch Of land, with all the
modern improvements onto it; a We'll Of never
failin cod liver oil at the front door, and an
other at the barn, and Il fine stream Of double
refined pOtrollum parses throu the premises;
also several men, horses, engines an other an
lmalS erected onto the property, for diggin an
pumpln the same. l make bold TO say that
Mud Hen Lake is On>urpasSabe. Its stox
should be in every well regulated family
When Bragg was in Augusta, Georgia, jeff.
Davis telcgraphed to him according to the
Chrontctc-" to hold the State at all hazards,
stop up the roads destroy supplies, and crush
Sherman. At the close Of the Dispatch the
strange phenomenon Of an idea seemed to
strike him, and he asked, what is your avail
able force for this purpose TO which Bragg
promptly replied: . Five proclanations and
one brigade.
An English paper says there are twenty
steam boilers under the floor Of the House of
Parliment, many working at high pressure, and
not tested as to their strength for years Some
careless Guy Fawkes may some day innoccntly
get rid the whole Parlmeut. by sending them
into the air. This is change in Parliment
that is not usually considered in the political
canvass.
4 newly married couple some years since.
took up their abode in Poplar At breakfast
the next morning the gentleman said to hs
lady, My dear, this is Poplar, and by put
ting III Il (yOu) it becomes pOputIr. And
by putting as in it. promptly replied the lady,
. it will become popNlous.
! New YORK News FROM LONDON. The last
! English paper received says =" Skating is all
the rage in New York, and the ponds in Cen
tral Park are covered till the park closes at
night The expense Of fkeeping the pond in
good condition is entirely betrayed by the sale
of curls, 6GndeduC and waterfalls which are
swept up by the basketful every morning"
| Mrs Bowers, the actress, has received from
| the Philadelphia, Wilmington and Baltimore
! Railroad Company several thousand dollars
indemnity for damages to her baggage, stage
costumes, &c, by railroad accident, some
time ago, whereby her trunks were tumbled
into the Susquehanna River.
A large and orderly meeting ofcolored people
was held in Savannah on the 5th instant TO lis
ten to the reading of one of Henry Ward Beech
ers sermons. Lieut.. a. p. Ketchum, of Gen.
SaXton staff, was the reader, and Rev. Mr..
Tiffany made an address.
the London Times say, that since the insertion
in its columns about month since, of articles
deScrlbing'sOme OF the charitable institutions in
| London, they have received subscriptions TO the
amount of more than 9lj, 900 toward the funds
Of these institutions.
At no time of life should man give up the
| thoughts Of enjoying the society of women.
. In youth" says Lord Bacon, women are
our mstresses, at ripper age our companions,
in old age our nurses, and in all ages our
! friends.
A member of the Arkansas Legislature, in
debate on the question of restoration of
the Union, made speech in favor Of it, which
he concluded by saying that & it would change
the barren hills into fruitful valleys"
Josh Billings says of friends 90 got mine
and managed to keep them by not asking them
! for anything but advice; you can t ask any
thing of a man that he loves to give more, and
costs him less than advice.
A wave on which many a poor fellow has
been carried away-the wave of q lace-edged
cambric handkerchief
Mr. and Mrs. Brewer, ofWayne county, Ken
lucky, have twenty-five children. This is the
most extensive brewery in the West.
A young lady should take heed when an
admirer bends low before her. The bent beau
is dangerous.
A male native of Michigan is now denomina.
ted Michigander, while his female mate is
called Michigoose.
/ Modern heathenism - Worshipping idols
(idles) in crinolipe.