Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1865-11-02
"Brick" pomeroy on Mosquitoes.

ence Ill pettiHS HusVuitocs iutoAicatcu.-
Josh Billings can't beat iti
MOSQUITOES ON A BESpER.
Night before last, in order to sleep, we
placed piece of raw beefstcak on plate at
the head of our bed. In the morning it was
sucked by the mosquitoes as dry of blood as
an old sponge, aud our skins saved at least
two thousand perforations. All about the
room in the morning were mosquitoes, pletho-
rc with blood, loaded till they could not fly.
We killed few, but the job was too sangun-
arv, so we left them to their feast.
Last night, IN order to get even with the
serenading devils, we stepped half pound of
fresh bcefstcak in some old rye whiskcy, and
left it on plate near the bed Nothing
like being Hospitality inclined, In ten min
utes after the light was extinguished n swarm
of these back-biting bill-posters made an ad-
vance movement One Of them caresscd us
sweetly On the nosc-he sent i'll his bill
there was slap--a dead mosquito Soon we
heard tremendous buzzing about the whs-
key-soakcd beef The entire mosquito family
came singing in, and such an opera-good
Lord deliver Us! But they did not disturb
us with bites we fell asleep to be awakened
in ten minutes by the worst mosquito concert
editor, mortal, devil, angel, divine, Dutchman
or any other man ever listened to.
We raised light, and the greatest show of
the season was there to be seen. Every mos
quito was us drunk as blind fiddler, and
such an uproarous night as the long billed
whelps had never was seen before this side of
-seluh. The worst antics Some were
playing circus Oh the plate One big fellow,
with belly like Falstat, full of blood and
whiskey, was dancing juba on the Bible,
while a fat friend of his tribe lay on her back
beating the devils dream on an invisible tam
BORNE with ono hind leg Two more were
wrestling on the footboard of the bed, each
with his bill stuck fast to the timber. An
other was tying the legs of our pants into a
bow knot to tic about the neck of Anna Dick
inson, which hangs against the washstand,
while another red-stomached customer was
irving to stand ON his head in the wash-bowl
Ali over the room were drunken mosqui.
toes One long billed, gaunt representative.
was trying to ram the mucilage bottle full of
newspaper clippings Another chap was
drilling hole through revolver handle, and
singing "My Mary Ann" while another was
limping across the window sill in search of
fresh air, to the agoniEing tune of--tramp-
tramp-tramp One little ram of skeet
was trying to jam the cock out of Ben. But
lcr's eve with 4 tooth brush, as his picture
hung beside that of Kid, the pirate, aud few
other thieves. Another drunken statesman of
the mosquito family reminded us of Hac. Chan
der and was talking Russian to a lot of drum
ken companions as they lay in heap on plate,
while another sat on the handle of Il bowie
knife, doubled up with cramp in the stomach,
and trying to unite his tail with his bill
which seemed like Lincoln's back bone when
Annie Dickinson said it wanted stifenng.--
He was sick looking skecter, and died in
three minutes after we saw him, her, or it. as
the case may be. Two others took u bath in
the inkstand.
Another one with bill like the devils mar
rative was trying to wind our watch with q
pen wiper, while another had just dird as he
was sitting on the rim of dish in the room
trying to chant Mother, I've come home t,
die ~ Poor skeeter. A nice skeetcr, "bu
twas pity he drank" An old veteran will
a paunch full of 'alf and 'alf--blood and whis
key-sat on the table reading Les Miscrables
while his wife was under the table trying t.
to mend her broken wing with limpy tool
pick. She looked Disguised. Another ont
combed bis hair with paper Of pms, tied
piece of white paper about his neck, pasted
| 1--WE cent Internal revenue on his rimp ant
died like loyal citizcn. His last words were
Tell the ira itors all around you," &c, &c.
Another drunken scamp has just startc
out of the window for John Is. Cough, or
stomach pump. a worse behaved set of bum
mers we never saw. They have acted fearful
Al. IL Il, 1,,l hut Il
ness seemed not to break in upon the hilariou
rioting upon blood and whskey. Half doa
en- of them sat on our new hat playing dra'
poker, using worm lozenges for checks Will
one of them got elem busted by making
fifty dollar blind good ON four flush whic
didn't fill! He will be apt to wear cotto
socks, next winter, and keep away fro
church on collection days.
Another sat on the top of a brandy bottl
reading Baxt-r's Call to the Unconverte
while his partner lay dead at his feet, eviden
ly forced to close doors by the failure of kctc
um g. Son, of New York! Six others we
trying to hang one that looked like Cope
head to the corner uf a match safe, but as th
we're drunk as he was, it is not safe to b
q on his being dangicd. They have eaten t
{ beef, drunk the blood and whiskey, drill
. the plate full of holes, and on the centre
! BILE organized Son of Malta Lodge, using
C FIVE cent shinplaster for a blanket in the {
It entitled the elevation of Man"
Another red-bcllicd leader of the Miss III
ter family had battalion of drunken bu
u mers on the edge Of a spittoon, watching hi
Is Jam fur overcoat into his left ear.
d was foolish enough for Il Brigadier General
,e member of Congress. a little cuss W
l. black legs, crimson stomach and double-po.i
ia ed bill, was vomiting in satin slipper, VIII
"a his wife, a sickly looking lady of her tri
- was gnawing at the bed-post, thinking
90 bologna Another one, e7idchtly an cid ma
"a sat under the sofa, milking the cat, while
- sister was crowding pair of wooden draw
into her waterfall, singing in subdued stra
ns Come rest in this bosom!" We have
or piled for season ticket-f-ont seat.
I'd Another one, with certificate of marri
over his head. in the shape of a welt the
of candle mould. was dancing tanIa
n with two mosquito virgins on watch crys
It. while deacon in one of their churches
les playing old sledge with a cork-serew, to
which should 60 for a gin Cocktail. An
!. tistic delegate was standing on his head