The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1865-03-22

oys ~ - eyo-Weut teo0 M loteof
and youwill tsow.
70 suBAtsHA.
Nonstspalay nfesslIslsdI your frisnd's
face dysd bl1ey nntimsiy changed green,
and finally dssrariDely left 10 thai YER
dant situation.
Il i said the monkey bad once been
reading Shakespeare. vas intoxicated with
knowledge. 10 order to make the theory
of Avon's immortal bard Of practical nth.
ity, painted the restless catastrophe Of bis
unfortunate companion, the cat, sky blue,
with Infinite gusso pronouncing Il, "gsy
bat not gsudy." What misfortune /
sm mistaken. Do not misunderstand me.
That is miss. do not understand me, that
| was taken by miss, whom / said mis-
taken or take it amiss, when your
friends lost fair complexion /. compared
to paltrY loss of fortune, By the misno-
mer misfortune. Were it loss, the loss
could not be compared to loss. Of fortune.
Words could not estimste it. It is Is not
loes; but ABSOLUTE gain. Great discov.
cries were nearly all made BY accident.
Beefsteaks were first discovered to be
eatable by the clumsy priest, who had
previously burnt them as offerings to the
gods, burning his fingers during the ope-
ration. and applying them to his mouth
while dripping with gravy. This prizes,
grew very sleek and fat, and the gods
suffered.
Wine delightful wine !! ! was discov-
cred accidentally. A certain King had
many wifes-Kings like the women, and
/" visa reverss "--one. his favorite, vas
troubled with histories. De you know
what that is ? 1t seems to be the blu,s
double distilled and piled on. Well, this
King wished to preserve his grapes, of
which he had many-for use out Of sea
son. The most efficient way he could
think of was to squeeze them,-vonder
what made him think OF that. He did
so. The juice fermented in the bottles.
He thought it spoilt. Worse, was poison
So labelled it and slowed it away. His
wife having extra heavy mysteries one
day, determined "not to be-" according.
| ~ took a drsught of this delightful
poison" which proving 40 excellent soda.
tive, and Of very accommodating DISPOSE
ton, changed places with the lady. Do
not unsupported me; that is miss, do
not apprehend that the wine run out OF
the bottles and spread itself as the ladies
sometimes do, and that the lady was
squeezed into bottle. | don't mean
anything of the kind. Properly, sup
pase the lady changed places with the
bottles but | don't mean she took the
bottle off the shelf and go. up herself in
its place and stayed there, not at oil. II
. is difficult matter to explain-hss often
proved mystery in other instances, and
Ipresume always will / meant that the
: lady had determined "not to be-" When
{ 10 ] presto change. The wine confined
=" not to be !" with fearful velocity, until
out and gone as the bottle has it, or in
and gone as the lady has it, or had il
which you like. Anyway wine was dis,
covered.
Numerous instances might be cited te
prove great discoveries made by accident
but we will only give the one Of what's
his name !? The steam engine man JUS
so, exactly. Watts, has name. Well
you are familiar with the story no doubt
} Tea kettle. FIRE. water, steam, steam en-.
CINE. The writer thinks his discovery o.
Tar less utility than that of either beef,
steaks or wine. Then the manner wine
was discovered, SO romantic. Oh, glass
yes, that was accidentally discovered also
Funny ain's it And your discovery
don't be alarmed. / claim i. to be- a dis
covery of the FIRST magnitude.
| have always from my childhood s
earliest hour" considered it grea. mis-
fortune, that there should be no people
OF those delightful hues blue and green,
have had the blues and been called
green, but could never see it)-and have
often studied I'LL the "wee sma' hours y
ID the vain endeavor to devise WAYS and
means to accomplish the desired object,
and only think it should have been done
SO elegantly, and by accident. Why, |
have read the bible through 10 order to
find reason why the master builder Of
bis "master work" neglected this i'm
portant point. "How passing strange y
be should have done 80. "Indeed, tits
wonderful" Other important cbaugss in
theseonstruction of the Genus Homo. -
have also claimed attention, but this was
the grandest, and eclipsed them ali.
| We have plenty of black people, and
you know Yankee Doodle or Old Dan
Tucker says:
som some were black ard some we're bl.cAer.
which intelligent description compre-
bends all of that shade. although little
vague as to Numbers, which is sstonishipg.
y huge, surprising human understanding
we also havea few unimportsnt white
folks-trash, you know-also red and
brown, but,
Oh, long, vow DO
| To see people green blue.
But cannot longer dwell. Ny delight
is unbounded, and the gratitude Of my
heart flows upward like unto the oil of !
Petroleum well. Only think, (could not
she dye her hair blue, Of crimson blush
tinging cheek Of green. You didn't
dye the lips green. did you? They should
not have been touched. Young ladies
are particular about their lips, at least