The Portland daily press., 1865-11-27
Monday Morning, Nov. 81, 1865.
THE Search for John Smith.

The Search for John Smith.
John Smith married my fathers great uncle's
eldest daughter, Melinda Dryne. Consequent
ly was relative to John. y n ..ls.~ .i9I.i
Johns family had often visited us at our
quiet country home, and at each visit had
most cordially pressed us to return the COM
plinlent. as.aasd i "a q.. .s.1ll
Last October, business called me suddenly
to theacity OF B, where my relatives re-
sided, and without having time to write and
apprise them of my coming, L was intending a
visit to the family of John Smith.
With my accustomed carelessness, [ had
left his precise address at home in my note
book; but thought little of it; / could easily
lind him, thought to myself, as the cars set
Inc down amid the smoke and hustle at B..
inquired for my relative of the first hack
man came across. as..5 s.,iI s.. u s8t st-a r
He looked at me with an ill-suppressed
grin. What was the fellow laughing at? To
be sure, my clothes were not of the very latest
cut, and it isn't just the thing for any one
out of the army to wear blue with bright but
tons; but my coat was whole and my Aunt
Betsey had secured the buttons with whiten-
ing and soft soap until they shone like gold. l
repeated my question with dignity. "a
''Can you direct me to the residence of Mr..
Smith's?D D. Alsas ~ eay
sMr. Smith ?" he said slowly.
eyes, sir, Mr.. John Smith. He married my
fathers great uncle's daughter, Melinda" y.
II don't think know John Smith with a
wife Melinda"
John Smith seemed to be common noun
with him, from the peculiar tone he used in
speaking of that individual 3aA
"AhF' remarked l, "then there is more than
one of that name in the city?"
81 rather think there is"
every well, then. Direct me to the near
est" fogs08 Moas
'The nearest is on Wall street. Second left
hand corner-you'll see the name On the
door," 1 -a,t sllaa usf +. 81,
81 passed on, congratalating myself on The
cordial welcome should receive from John
and Melinda sas+ g........@a.....7.ft a.
soon reached the paee-a handsome house
with the name on silver door plateI rang
the bella servant appeared
"Mr. Smith in ?" sa sree.F ,tt-l.t
mo, sir; Mr.. Smith is in the army"
MRS Smiths she?"
"In the army ?--oh, no-shes at the beach,
@fhis is Mr.. Smiths house, is it?'.
'sIt is"
'Was his wife's name Melinda, and was she
Bryne, before she was married, from Squash
Ville?" ai
The man Redeemed, and responded angri-
''rll not stand here to be insuted Make
off with yourself or III call the police. /
thought from the first that you was an entry
thief, but you don't playno game on me p and
he banged the door in my face.
l a thiefl If / had not been in such hur-
ry to find the Smiths, L should have given that
racally fellow sound chastising on the spot.
Inquiry elected the fact that Mr.. Smith
resided on Arch Street Thither bent my
steps. A maid servant answered my ring.
"Mr. Smith in ?" us frH - s'ia
Before the girl could reply a big, red-faced
,1a1 Of -, cl,, IL.
door, and laid his heavy hand upon my shoul-
der. - f.9'
eyes, sir" he cried In voice like thunder.
"Mr. Smith is in Yes, sir, for once he's in.--
He stayed at home all day on purpose to catch
you! and now, by Jupiter! I'll have my re-
vengep .z ,a. 5'-s,5s5. s,.. T.
"Sir," said I, athere must be some mistake.
Allow me to inquire if you are Mr.. John
Smith ?'' q 9tsa s'.nai .A
"Tll inform you about Mr.. John Smith in a
way you won't relish, if you don't settle the
damages forthwith. Five thousand dollars is
the lowest figure-and you must leave the
countryw ta4 sa 2ai ,t'a
"Good graciousr' I cried, ''what do you
take me for? You'd better be careful or you
will get your head caved inw Aa B4eF
"Fll cave your head in for you, you young
villain, your cried he, springing at me with
his cane. iigia .ssiaf ls d. 'lras
"Oh, John, dear Johnp exclaimed shrill
female voice, and tail figure in sea OF
founces bounded down the stairway. Don't,
don't! for the love of heayen-don't murder
himp a sse.,s ,sa.sus t1s4 q
'Who the deuce do you take me for ?' cried
/, my temper rising. .5.s,, .5..- .s.tIsrs.
at looks well for you to ask that question:
sneered the man; "you have won my wife's
heart, and are here now to plan to elopc with
her! Ihave found it all out-you need't blush
and an 8tE ltl l.9as f.s 81. s.a *
81 beg your pardon for interrupting you'
said |, "but / have never seen your wife be-
fore. perceive she is not Melinda, the eldest
daughter of my fathers great uncle" .,l
"Sir, do you deny that you are William
Jones? Do you deny that you are in love
with my wife," s..4 e 81 tggts a5sa
81 am not Jones--I have not the honor
sir. My name is Parlzwell-H enry Parkwell
of Squashviep p and with low bow took
myself of. aa - assdr .,saal 1s-9 .
After that called at the residence of three
John Smiths-none of which was my Mr.
Smith-and nothing occurred worthy of note.
My next Mr.. Smith resided in Portland
street. Thither 1 bent my steps. 1t was a
very small house-evidently not the house Of
wealth and cleanliness. l made my way up
to the front door through wilderness of old
rags, broken crockery, old tin-ware, ETC., scat
tering flock OF hens, and rousno snappish
little terrier from his nap on the steps. -
A red-faced woman answered nv ran. but
before l could make my customary inoIrirv
she opened upon me like two-edged butcher.
knife. s ..a. itlai
"Well, of all the impudent rascals that ever
see, YOU beat the lot! want to know if Won
had the cheek to come back here again p
You'd like to sell me another German silver
tea pot and another brass bosom pin to dear
Araininty-wouldn' you?"
By no menus" said Il; 81 beg to inform
@oh. YOU needn't beg! We don't believe in
beggarsi / s'pose you thought / wouldn't
know you-but did should know that
black bag of yours in Caliiorny. Clear out OF
my premises, or I'll lay my broom handle over
you'll If there is anything j hate, IL is ped
ler-especially a rascal like your -.s..
"Allow me onquire," said l, "if MIR. Smiths
wife was Melinda Byrne, the eldest daughter
of my fathers uil 55utaia4aa AiH
The broomstick was lifted; / heard it cut
the air IKE mimic bullet, and sprang down
the steps into the street at my best pace. q
An angry man l do not fear, but who can
stand before an angry woman? Ihad rather
face roaring lion.
called on two more Mr.. Smitbs--still nm
successful in my search. II was getting near
dark, and L was more than anxious tn rna,,b
my destination. ~ seiei isi' IS :
My next Mr. Smith was located in Jo,ov
street. 1t was twilight when rang the bell
at the door.
A smiling fellow admitted me, fairly foreino
Inc into the hall before could utter word
"Walk right in sir, they are expecting you
The ladies will be down in moment Miss
Hattie is in the parlor. Walk in sir"