davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05
pots ferau Asriuure auo 1neuiaen
sTRoUDsBURG, MONROE COUNTY, PA. JANUARY 5, 1865

Act well their part and, like true men,
Stand by their cherish'd country when
Assailed by foes, from out and in,
Guilty Of the black traitors sin.
E'en Parsons were not left to glide
Smoothly upon Religions tide
For having dared to think, and note
The sins of men, and, maybe, vote,
Their names were in the vortex dragged
And they attempted to be gagg'd.
Not if, upon the other track,
They voted for Mac Gunboat Mac;
Not if they hail'd from Jerseys night
And voted where they had no right,
Was this thing done. Twas only those
Who dared the stubborn right to chose;
And chosing dared to maintain
Their country's honor and good name:
For Wood and Burr, De Young and Coswell
Had found new Democratic Gospel,
Which teachs that party and not God
Holds over mortals the stern rod.
Adieu, kind reader, am done
And leave you now to Number One.
May the New Year, just ushered in,
Bring lasting peace, and stop he din
Caus'd by dread war. And may our land
Again among the nations stand
Great in lis strength, in nothing hollow,
A model for the world to follow;
May fathers, sons and brothers come
Once more to greet the happy home;
And may you, till your end OF days,
Enjoy good health and VISIONS ways.
Be kind to Jeems--reward him we'll
And peace will with you ever dwell.
Adieu that "shinney'' brightly CLEANS
On the heart of your humble JEEMES.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05

The story goes that, when things were
working so badly in the Shenandoah
Valley, Secresory Stanton applied to Gen.
Grant for remedy. "Send me" says
the Secretary, "the very best man you
have got in the army Grant replied by
sending Phil Sheridan. saying, "There
isn t much of him. but he's the man you
want" 1t is said that the Secretary look
ed somewhat sskance at the slight and
youthful figure standing before him but
he set him at work, and now he is con-
vineed that Grant knew his man.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05

A certain barber used to amuse his
customers with his long yarns. while he
went through his functions on their heads
aud faces One day an old codgcr came
in, took chair, and ordered his hair cut
The barber went to work and began at
the same time one Of his long stories, to
the no little dissatisfaction Of the old gen
tIeman, who, becoming irritable at the
barber, said, Cut it short" ''Yes, sir, y
said the barber, continuing the yarn, un-
til the old gentleman again ordered, "Cut
it short l say cut it short" ''Ies, sir, "
clipping away and Cabling the faster
Cut it short, cut it short, | say" said
the old gent. "les, sir, said the bar
hcr, going on with his story. "Will you
cut it SHORTY" bawlcd out the old gentle
man in rage. Cant, sir, said the bar
Der, "for if you'll look in the glass you'll
see I've cut it all off And to his hor-
ror upon looking in the glass the old gen
tleman found all the hair cat off from his
head,
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05

A good story is told of an officer in the
American army, during the war of 1872
II, who was still more accustomed to
the use of the sword than the pen
While stationed on the lake frontier, two
of his soldiers, brothers. by the name OF
Kennedy, aud usually called Kannada,
deserted. The officer of whom we are
speaking wrote an order, and issued it to
a subaltern, to take a file Of men and
proceed to place named, and take the
two Canadas The order was peremptory
and not to be trifcd with. The officer
looked at his instructions and prepared
to obey them. but remarked that he did
not believe he could take more than one
of the provinces Uitho.t u reinforcement
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05

Tommy, my son, what are you going to
do with that club p
Send it to the editor of course
But what are you going to send it to
the editor for 2
Cause he says if anybody will send
him club, he'll send them copy of his
paper.
The mother came pretty near fainting,
but retained Consciousness enough to ask,
But, Tommy dear, what do you sup
pose he wants of a club!
Well, don know, replid the hope
full urchin, unless it's to knock down sub
scribers as don pay tor their paper
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05

A Dutchman and his intended appeared
bsfsre newly installed Dutch squire to
be married. Bidding them join hands,
the squire began -
Hans. dosh you lofe this woman so
mootch as you can %
"Yaw, replied Hans.
''Katerine, dosh you lofe Hans so
mootch as you can ~
"No," promptly replied Katerine
''Dosh you lofe him enuff to marry
him 2"
"Yaw," replied Katerinc.
'Vell, den, l pronounce you man and
womahs."
Hans asked the charge
"Oh nothing, nothing" replied the
squire, if you ish satisfied ish too"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05

1t has been truthfully said that the
voice of the people was never more un-
mistakably the voice of God than in the
recent election 1t was in this faith that
a clergymen of Middletown, Conn, at u
recent torchlight display, exhibited d
Transparency over his door, with quota
ton FROM Genesis xxi, 15-''The angel
of the Lord called unto Abraham out of
Heaven i second time"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05

The voters of Lyons, n Y, on election
day were astonished by the appearance
of young lady at the polls. She came
with her father, a very inirm old man, to
see that he was not imposed upon by the
vote distributors The vote was Of course
for the Uni an lates. and b, pa
triotic public maize up a complimentary
purse for the patriotic young lady.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05
ITO Persons About to Marry"

There is Something omInous in the
custom described in the following extract:
The manner of advertising for hus-
band in Java is by placing an empty flow
er-pot ON the portico roof, which is as
much as to say, A young lady is in the
house. Husband wanted"
That, says murose bachelor of our ac-
quaintance is as much as to say that when
a man marries he goes to pot.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05
The ropetrick of the Davenport broth

The ropetrck of the Davenport broth
er. is an old thing according to the King
of Dude. who says that in India it used
to be performed in this fashion The per
former was tied neck and feet and put IN
to sack the mouth of which was care
fully secured he was then thrown into
deep water, from which he emerged
swimming, Tree from both ropes and sack
A London paper urges subJectlng the
Dayembort brothers to this test.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05

One Of our best clergymen last Sunday
preached a sermon on autumn, wherein
he alluded to the ''pomp of the regal for
ests." Que OF his hearers objected on the
ground that it was an abolition discourse.
An explanation Was asked. "Why,
said he. "didn't he say 'Pomp of the tor
est, and isn't that niger in the woods,
I'd like to know?"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05
An amusing fact occurred in Ne

An amusing fact occurred in New
York on the visit Of General Grant to
that city recently. He took hack to
conduct him to his hotel The driver,
after depositng the General, gave his
friends the following toast: "Here's to
meself, Dennis Conuelly, the biggest man
in Ameriky but one. I've driven the
Lieutenant General of the United States,
and its more than Bobby Lee ever did,"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05

II am glad this tea don't owe me any
thing" said an accountant at his supper.
why 80 7" inquired his wife.
Because, l don't believe it has
strength enough to settle"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05
Rather Personal.

Mr.. Camp, becoming enthusiastic, and
holding out his brawny hand cried out
exultingly: "What does that look like"
That ?" interposcd Mr.. Ames with a
peculiar sniff of the nose, "that looks as
though you were out of SOAP"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05
Metaphysics.

An Irishmau describes metaphysics as
follows 1.-TWO men are talking together,
and one of them is trying to explain some
thing he don't know anything about, and
the other can't understand him.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05
Big Cradlipg.

There was man out West who Graded
three acres of grain in day, and he was
pronounced wonder, only excelled by
his wife, who Graded three infants in a
night.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05

"For the want of water l am forced to
drink water; if had water, would
drink wine" This speech is riddle
and here is the solution. 1t was the
complaint of an Italian vineyard man, af-
ter long drought and an extremely hos
summer, that had parched up all hrs
grapes.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05

A dandy smoking cigar entered a
mensgerie. the proprietor requested him
to take the weed from his mouth, ''lest
he should teach the other monkeys bad
habits"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05

"You say" said the Judge, to Ger
man who was tried for bigamy. 1.-The
clergyman who married you to your first
wife authorized you to take sixteen =
What do you mean by that =
"Vell. +" said Hans, she dold me that
should have four peter, four vorser, four
richer, and four poorer, and IN our coun-
try four dimes four make sixteen.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05

"John said a doting parent to her
gormandizing son, "do you really think
you can eat the whole of that pudding
with impunity ?" II don't know, ma, )"
replied young hopeful, "but guess l
can with spoon"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05
A Lazy Family.

There is a family in Vermont so lazy
that it takes two of them to chop stick
of wood. Siah chops while Jim grunts,
aud then for a change Jim chops and
Siah grunts.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05

The females of some Of the Indian
tribes, in order to keep silence, Gil their
mouths with water. Our women fll
theirs with tea, and talk more than ever.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05

The following advertisement appears
under the bead Of Wife Wanted" in
an Arkansas paper:
"Any gal what's got bed, coffee pot,
skillet. knows how to cut out brltches,
can make huntln shirt, and knows how
TO take care OF children can have my
services until dea h parts both Of US
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05

"See here, my friend you are drunk" !"
"Drunk, to be sure ] am, and have been
for the last three years. You see my
brother and l are on the temperance mis-
sion. He lectures, while | set fright
ful example"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05

"That'. pretty bird Grandma" said
little boy. Yes replied the old
dame. "and he never cries" That's
because he's never washed y rejoined
youngster.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05

"Does the razor take hold weli?' IN
quired darkey, who was shaving gen.
tleman from the country Yes, re-
Piled the customer, with tears IN ms
ewes .it takes hold first rate, but 1t don
let 90 worth cent"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05

Married, at Detroit, Michigan, by Rev.
MI Knot, Mr.. Thomas Hum to Miss Ella
bug; Who will, after this, say marriage
Humbug?
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05
VOL. 2s.
Published by Theodore Schoch.

TERNs-Two dollars year in advance-and if no
bald before the end of the yeaI, two dollars and fifty
cts. will be charged.
Ne paper discontinued until all arreaIages are paid
except at the option of the Editor.
DAdvertisements Of one square of (eght lInesl or
lass three insertions 81 so. Each additional
assertion, so cents. Longer ones in proportion.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-01-05
LOB PRINTING.

OF ALL KINDS,
Hfessted In the highest style of the Art and on the
most reasonable terms.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1865-02-16
Death of Gen. John H. windor.

We learn from the Columbia Guardian, that Brig
Gen. JOHN H. w1SDER, Commssa,y General of
Prisoners of the Confederate States, departed this
life on Monday, 9th instant, at Florence, S. c.,
whittier he had gone ia the discharge of his du-
tics. Tie Guardian says: '' Gen. Winder was ma
tive of Maryland, was in his S6th year, and had
served in tile armies of the United States. and The
Confederate States of America for forty years. He
was an able, efficient and energetic officer an up
ricll honest man, beloved and respected by every
one. and lis death will be equally mourncd in
military and civil circles. II is but few weeks
since he office of Colulnssary General of Prison
crs was created by Congress, and lle position con-
ferrcl upon Gen. W. The surviving members Of
his family have our sincere sympathy in their be-
rcavclncnt -
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1865-02-16
Interest on State Stocks & Bonds.
sTATn ,rnEAsUGg. LOWER DIVISION, !


LOAN DErAnrMEx'r, Columbia, S. G. J /.
INTEREST due Isl January, 1865, and arrears OF OF
interest now remaining undlnwn, on The STOCKS
and BONDS hereinafter mentioned, issued by the
State of South Carolina will be paid at This Office,
in Columbia, OIL and. aficr Monday next, I'd Janu-
nry..ls65, viz OH 3 per cent. Stale Stock
s per cent. Stock, Act 1885, for rebuilding city
of Charleston"
'5T, '5S, 80, '61 and '63. 800
per per- cent. Bonds, Act 1859, sto grant aid 10 Glue
per @ cent. bonds, (NIilisary Defence,) Act 1860
per cent. <bonds (uiliiary Defence Act JanuaI
ry, 1851, I" 10 raise supplies I"
per cent Stock -Act December, 1852, amending
Acl January, 1861, "do raise supplies /"
per cent. Stock, (aiihtary Defence Ael gccem-
her. 1861. w. j. LAVAL,
Treasurer Lower Division.
Feb. 2,-1S65.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1865-02-16
Your obedient servants,
Signed) a. II. STEPHENS,
r. M. It. HUNTER,
JOHN A. CAMPBELL.
Richmond, Feb. 6, 1865

SHERMAN S MoyESIENTs.-Th dispatch
es and rumors relative to the movements
of Sherman are extremely meagre. The
most reliable intelligence we can obtain,
apd this is based upon dispatches receiv-
cd in the very highest military circles,
is that Sherman's advance was, at last ac-
counts seven miles from Midway. The
position then occupied by the enemy was
about 81 miles from Branchville; and
seaf troops were then confronting him.
..s-The alarm respecting the obstruction
to travel between this place and the west
is, therefore, so far as the past sensation
$ rGmors areconcerned, needless. Whatov-
.er restriction has been placed upon travel
in.that direction was the result Of wise
military policy, justified fully in the eyes
of our military authorities.
sSherman's plans have not been suffi-
GENTLY developed asyet, to enable the
formation of an opinion as to whether his
Immediate destination is Columbia, Au-
gusta, or Charleston. The latter place
in their possession would, in the eyes of
all Yankeedom, compensate for any loss
which might accrue to the Federal forces
in obtaining it, because of its noble heroic
and defiant resistance, successfully main
tained against the most determined and
elaborate. siege known to history. Au-
gusta in their hands, andthey would natu-
rally suppose that the principal channel
OF Communication with the westwas stop
ped up, to say nothing of the necessity
OF removing government establishments
and workshops, to q certain extent nee
essary in the, continuance Of the war.
Columbia, the Capitol of South Carroll
ia, is q most tempting prize. and would
probably excite the energies of a man
less enterprizing than Gen. Sherman.
Action, therefore, is necessary-prompt,
decided action. Let us honor the call of
our patriotic Governor, and show our full,
free and calm determination to meet the
enemy wherever he may strike. Our
lime is short, and the sooner we get our
Affairs in readiness for tho struggle the
better for us. If Sherman can be hurled
back from his objective point, We destroy
the effect cf his recentsuceesses and force
the Yankee Govelnment ta 1ths, necessity
of raising another aTnass .ster to |
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1865-02-16
STATE OF SOUTH CAROLINA
ANDERSON DISTRICT
IN. THE COURT oE oRnINARY.

IN. THE COURT OF ORDINARY.
WHEREAS, John IIarkins having fled his Petition
in writing in my Office, praying that apaper pur-
porting to be the last will and testament of Hugh
Harldns, decd, bearing date 18th january, 1862,
may be proven in due form of law; and it appear
ing to my satisfaction that the following heirs at
law are absent without the limits of this Siate w.
The heirs at law Of ames Harkins s5 L.. to wit
Martin ar,ss,ilns James EEarikins, Hugh Harkins,
JON Harllins, Sarah Harkins, John B. Anderson
and wife Margaret, and Mary Ann Lewis, Walter
Harkins if living, if not his heirs at law, number
and names unknown. Heirs at. law of Andrew
Harkins, decd, to wit: William Harkins, ohm
Harkins and Annie Harkins, Elizabeth Crow, if
living, wife of Jonathan Grow, if living, if not to
her heirs at law, number and names unknown.
Heirs at law of Jane McNar, names and number
unknown. Heirs at law of Esther Moore, number
and names unknown.
It's therefore ordered that the above named
parties do severaly appear in the Court of Ordin-
ary, for Anderson District, at Anderson Court
House, on Thursday, the 18th day of May next,
at which time the aforesaid paper VIII be tested as
to its legal validity and due execution
HERBERT HAMMOND, o. A. D.
Feb. 16, 1865 sm
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1865-02-16

MILITARY DIVISION OF THE WEST,
December 80, 1864.
sGENERAL ORDERS NO.
I. ALL officers and men absent from commands
serving in this Military Division, without authority
from their Department or Corps Commanders, are
ordered to rejoin their commands at once.
H. All non-commissioned officers or soldiers be-
longing to.the Cavalry service, who may be SO at4
sent, will be dismounted and forwarded to then;
Communicates horses and equipments being
turned in to the nearest PostQ Quartermaster to be
disposed of as authorized in Act rs, published in
General Orders No. So, Adjutant ond inspector
Generals Office, 1854.
III. Departments, District and Post Cournand.
ers, Provost NIarshals and Officers of the Conscrpt
Bureau. are specially requested to give their attel
ton these ORDERS and will Jake Immediate stems
to collect and forward to their proper commands
all such absentees.
" Department and Army Commanders vill
take steps to transfer TO Infantry commands all
Cavalrymen so collected reporting each case as di-
rectcd in Par II, Go. 55, A. and l. G. o., 1864.
By command Of Gen. BEAuREGAnD.
JNo. NJ OTEY, a. A.G
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1865-02-16
OFFICE OF AUDITOR OF s. O.. l.
Cn1unnrA.. Uacpmher %. 1861 e

OFFICE OF FsAUDlTORs0F
CoLUnBIA5 December "a, 1861 e
THE following regulations have been adopted
for the presentation and payment, through this
Office, of acquisitions and claims upon the Execu-
tive Department OF. this State:
/. Whenever practicable; all requisitiops for
funds blythe heads Of military bureaux and works
of the State, and all cnims against the Executive
Department of the Sae,s shall be transmitted 10
this office for examination and audit at least one
week before the frs, day Of each month. Rcqui-
sitions and claims approved by the Govertior will
be paid betweeen the 9Th and f0.h days Of the
month next succeeding the one in which they
ore submitted for audit
q Except under special circumstances lands
will not be remitted by mail. Parties who desire
to receive amount through agents. will plense OBJ
oerve the following form of power Of attorney
/, --, do hereby appoint ---- my true
and lawful attorney 10 sign receipts for and re-
ceive payment of all moneys which may be now
due or coming to me from the Execatiye Depart
ment OF the State Of South Carolina.
Witness my hand and seal, at -, this ~
Witness -A ---. II. IS. n
8. No bill will be paid unless sworn to by
claimant, and no reauisition viii BE allowed uni
prepared as near as may be, according to
forms prescribed by the army regulations of
Confederate. States. and certified in dnphcaS
the proper officer of tho, ''51snt or go
which the 4equisiti6n i4 +, S +,
A II rnc,,; ;s;t t ~, n
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1865-02-16
p proclamation by the President, Appointing a
Day of Fasting, Humiliation and Prayer,
with Thanksgiving.

Proclamation by The Presidents appointing
Day of Fasting, Humiliation and Prayer,
with thanksgiving.
The Congress of the Confederate States
have. by q. Joint resolution, invited me to-
appoint a day of public fasting, humilia-
ton and prayer, with thanksgiving to y 81
mighty God. :,
It is,our solemn duty at all times and
more especiallyiirsa a season Of: public trial
and adversity, to acknowledge our de-.
pendence on His mercy, and to bow in
humble submission before his footstool,.
confessinr our manifold sins; slpplicating
His gracious pardon, imploling His Di-
vine help. and devoutly rendering thanks
| for the many and great blessings which
He has vouchsafed to US;
Let the hearts OF. our people turn con-
| tritely and trustfully untotGod let us
recognize in His chastening ha.nd the
correction of q Father, and subnissively
pray that the trials and sudierinGg5s g Is winch
| have SO long borne heavily upon Us, may
be turned away by His. merciful love;
tfiat his sustaining grace be givenSto our
people. and His divine wisdom impaired
to our rulers; that the Lord of Hosts will
be with our armies and fight for us against
our enemies; and that He will ;grsciously
! take our, cause into His own hand and
mercifuly; establish. for us lasting, just
and honorable peace and independence.
1 And let us not forget to render unto
His holy nanc the thanks and praise
which are 50 justly due for His great good
ness, and for the many mereies which lie
has extended to us amid the trialssand
! sufferings of protracted and bloody war
! Now, therefore, I, J eferson Davis, Pres
idcnt of the Confederate States Of Amer
lea, do issue this my proclamation, api
pointing Friday, the tenth day Of March
next, as a day Of public fasting, humiliar
ton and prayer, with thanksgiving fol
"invollins the favor and guidance of AL
mighty God;" and 1 do earnestly invite
;, all soldiers and citizens to observe tho
same in a spirit Of reverence, penitence
and prayer. ;t,q,
4 Given under my hand and the seal of The
Confederate States, at Richmond, this
18th day of January, in the year ofoul
Lord one thousand eight hundred and
sixty-fve.
By the Presidents:
J.eP. BENJAMlN, Secretary of State.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1865-02-16
The Hot Supper,

On Thursday night last, was complete success
in every respect realizing handsome sum where
with to purchase clothing for destitute command
The patriotic ladies who initiated the affair and
rendered it so successful are entitled to thethanks
of the community for most delightful entertain
ment