Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1865-08-11
From the United States Mail.
Loves Labor Lost.

lC lS hOW sOuic tWO VI tuTec ycdIS
since young gentleman entered the
Department in one of our large cities,
and announced that he had serious
case of mail depreciation to report,
which he would like to have investiga-
ted Immediately. Being requested to
give the particulars of the matter, he
produced from his pocket a letter ad-
dressed to himself, and postmarked
with the name of n small town In the
State of Pennsylvania. The envelop
bore unmistakablc evidences of having
been opened and resealed, and the adj
dress was in lady's handwriting.
"There, SIR" said he, carefully re-
moving the letter, and handing the en-
velop to the Agent for inspection, that
'ere letters been robbed by some post
Office thief of twenty-siX dollars. Now
want you to catch him and put the
screws to him--give him ten years at
least. don't care for the loss of the
money" (it is singular, by the way,
considerations most people are who pre-
fer these complaintsj, "but I'd like to
see the rascal caught"
Now, the Agent having had consider
able previous experience in the investi-
CATION of cases of rifiing, was quite
sensible that very necessary prelimi-
nary to such Investigations was thor
ough knowledge Of all the circumstan.
ces connected with the affair, and after
attentively examining the envelop,
which was literally daubed with mucil.
age, he observed:
"Well, sir, l will take memorandum
OF your statement, and II it proves to bt
a postofiice thief as you say ~,
F." lift does, sir? Why who else cal
it be? Isn't there the envelop to speak
for itself--hasn't it evidently been tori
open and gummed up again? Of cours'
it's a Postotfice thief--sny ono can SCI
| that" ,al, i.F. xst.-..
"Probably, sir: but / don't see 1t, JUS
yet. BE good enough to give me tht
name of the writer of this letter."
The young man hesitated, and Mt onct
his manner became confused and ner
yous.
"I'd rather not fits all the same, sir
It's young lady, and there are pecu.
liar circumstances about the case--and
lin short, don't want her name mix.
ed mp in it."
:" But it will be absolutely necessary
| i'm order to make proper Investigation
that should know her name. Withou
! it cannot undertake to do anything IL
the matter.o
The gentleman still sought for som,
time to avoid giving the name Of hi.
fair friend, but at last announced it AZ
Miss Emily MELVILLE" Other ques
tions followed as to the circumstances
which led to the enclosure ofthe money
&c, to which the complainant answered
striving to conceal something of which
he was secretely ashamed. Perceiying
that the investigation was likely tC
make but slow progress while conducted
in this fashion, the Agent finally OBJ
served:
"My friend, my time is too precious t6
waste in drawing information from you
with cork screw and you may. az
well make up your mind either to give
me clear and unreseryed account OF
this transaction, or to go elsewhere
with your grievance Now, please tell
me fohy Miss Melville sent you (or tried
to send you this money!"
ITO pay for some broadcloth for q
Which you were to purchase fo1
her?"
Yes-that is, which had purchased
for her."
"Oh, + see-the young lady was prob
ably here visiting, and being temporari-
iy out Of funds you gallantfy forced her
to accept loan--eh?"
"Well, no, not exactly. The fact is,
I sent the goods to her by express, ut
her request"
"And of course, she being an old
friend''-- un,
mo, not friend precisely"
" A relative. then?'
"No.u .,.E.a
...!al "Ah, !, see-somethins nearer and
"WelI, yes, said the youth, with a
slfeepish simper, and neivously swing
ing his hat by the rim, as he gazed
modestly on the fiOor-"we're lov--en-
gagged, i mean"
" Perhaps she forgot to enclose the
money"
"No, sir-I,ve had letter from her
since, and she ssDe0rs-I mean she's
certain--she put the money in"
Perhaps, then" said the agent,
striving to express his suggestion in the
least offensive language, perhaps she
omitted to enclose 1t.
"Sif!O exclaimed the fond lover,
reused by this insinuation, "what do
you mean There Is no doubt wh0tever,
Sir, that The yopng lady sent the money.
! would stalk 9 my tife, sir, on her honor !"
ION, very Well, sir-cxcuse memo
offense intended, I'm sure. But you
know that havn't the pleasure OF the
lady's acquaintance. BY the wav, how
long have yOu known her-a long time,
| presume? ss4
The young gentleman's enrburraW-
ment was yisibly increased ~ he replied,
" About six Ynoilths.n
MET her in Ponnsylvauia, I sup
peseY'
Yes that isy np-I can,tsay I did. -
Where did you meet her ?u
Why, can't say where exactly
don't know - I've met her at all, to
tell the TRUTH -
TELLING the truth seems. TO be q
work Of time with you," remarked the
agent, drily. 5.sz
Now Il youth be good eno1gh to
give me. = little light about what you do
know Of this lady, whom you have ncr.