The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1865-08-23
How Dickens went to the Derby as Swell.

/ And now come to relate how went to the Derby
the other day as swell That carriage and pair,
will confess at once, joint stock affair lt hap
pened this way. Mr.. Candy who is addicted to fash
ion and. with whom havethe honor to beacquainted
: said to me the other day: "Wn you go down TO the
Derby with us ?n meaning BY the plural personal pro-
noun Mrs. Candy and himself. rashy said "Yes, y
and found afterwards that expected to pay half
the charges How will you go? 2" asked. 80, in a
carriage and pair of course" replied Mr. Candy with
flourish of his hand, waving off all suspicion Of rail-
cabs omnibusses and other vulgar kinds of convey
ance. "Very well, / said.
Mr.. Candy undertook to engage vehicle, but leav-
ing it until nearly the last moment, experienced some
difficulty, owing the unprecedented demand. At
length, however, pheton and pair was secured. II
would be sapup turn out the man said, with spank
/. o'clock
was at the Candy mansion before that hour, and
7 found Mr.. and Mrs. Candy packing the hamper. ave
shall do the thing in STYLE" Mr.. Candy whispered to
me- as he popped the last foiltepped bottle into the
basket,
Mrs Candy hoped so but 1fr. Candy had been rash
enough to invite Miss Croucher who though person
of good family, and accomplished would insist upon
wearing one and-eleven penny gloves, which were
necessarily thumby and calculated to detract from
style
Mrs. Candy had been assured that tie phmton and
pair would be all right Judge then, Of the fall that
took place in Mrs. Gandy's countenance when the
pheton and pair dashed up to the door, discovering
IL
dan couple of horses that did match and driver
who had arrayed himself for the occasion in chocolate
colored corduroys and specked straw hat swathed
in whisp of green blind. 1t only required the arri
! val of Miss Croucher in pair of openwork silk
gloves in which her hands were caught like two red
mullets in bagnets to redHee Mrs Candy to that de-
/ pressed condition when the female spirits require
! burnt feathers and cognac 1t clear that
er could allow ourselves to be driven to Epson by
man in speckled straw hat 50 Mr.. Candy rugged
l,4o 6 Iprr, II ,etl,gr
band hastily obtained from shop in the neghbor-
! hood. To be sure Mr. Gandys hat little too
large for the man, but with padding of brown paper
it fitted pretty well until it came down over his eyes
with the exertion of driving when the vulgar people
on the vans and omuibuseS told bin to "Cone out OF
it," There was no doing anything with Miss Croucher,
/ for though she wore black net gloves she had mon
/ tey and no relations but the Gandrs. SO astaTed
and tried to look much like swells possibly
could under the circumstances.
Mr. and Mrs Candy sat on the back seats, ana loled
as genteey as anybody could oll, and Miss Croucher
and sat on the narrow front seat uncomfortable
as anybody could sit. We didn't talk much, that not
being genee and didn't have anything TO eat the
whole way, that also not being genteel and when the
driver suggested the necessity of Eashing out the
horses mouths be told that it could not be per-
mitted l had little flask OF brandy -and-water in
my pocket and would have given the world to takea
pull it, but felt that it would not be geneel and
proper. should have liked to smoke, but that was
altogether out of the question
| Our driver finding that were very genteel, took
US by short cuts, and avoided much possible the
stream Of vulgar life. This favorable to the main
tenance of dignity; but every now and then, when
we were driven to Join the crowd conveyance of
roads, taken down peg by those vulgar fell
lows on the bnsses asking driver TO out of
| that hat. will say this of driver, that he
better known and had larger circle of acquaintance
than any of u.s. Twenty times at least between Lon
don and Epsom persons in vehicles Generally the
box sea nodded their heads jerked up the handles
OF their whips in token of recognition Several per-
sons cSi'ed him famiarly George, and asked him
s'where he lad dug it FROM" which | understood to
refer to the pheeayton, George caedit This mys-
terv was cleared up afterwards, when learned that
George was by normal profession cabman, who, on
Derby and other high days and holiaays, did little
livery business on his own account, using his own
horses, and digging up pheeaVton" where he could
find in any mound devoted to the shooting OF ve-
hicuIar rubbish.
We paid guinea to go upon the course, and, the
horses having been removed, seized upon by
dozen half-naked clamorous fellows, who dragged
the pheeton this way and that way, and showed and
pushed and pulled until thought the phpton would
have been deprived of its head. Each one Of the
dozen fellows declared that him belonged the sole
merit Of having pulled about, and demanded
ey, and wouldn't so away until he got it. Then other
fellows, seeing that sWells, insisted upon
brushing us, and when resisted, and exhibited our
own clohes-brush they cried yah shabby !" at US,
and brought down upon the pheeayton the attention
OF all the drags by which it surrounded and which
completely shut out our view of the We
were SC blocked in among the of carriages the
h that it impossible to get out even on foot; so
Mr.. Candy and |, who had designed to walk about !
with the view of being seen BY our friends, were
obliged to remain in the carriage BY comparison
with others, our hamper was not such graid afair
it had promised, when Mr, Candy packing the
Sparkling" Beside the hampers from Fortnum and
Mason's, neatly packed with paper shavings ours
showed its homemade origin most unmista kabiy; it
was composed of brown wicker AID was packed with
straw. We had forgotten TO provide ourselves with
champagne opener and, as Mr.. Candy wouldn't hear
OF knocking the tops of the bottle off fan to
allow George to operate upon the wines with an in
strument which he usual employed to pick out stones
from the horses feet We had omitted to bring cham
pagne glasses, and obliged to drink the bubbling
wine out of tumblers, which quite as agreeable TO
ourselves, but might have looked ike pale ale to our
neghbers. A leg of laub with salad and mint sauce |
substantial but it rather paled its elegance beside
fowls tied up with white ribbon, Yorkshire pies, aud
decorated Holsters We were very quiet at lunch and
am sure no could have said that we were other
than most gentee and respectable people if George
had not persisted in thumbins his cold lamb instead
of eating from plate. George was incorrigibe--
He sat down upon the hamper, and smoked short .
clay pipe under the very noses of the drag5. He .
laout fs,iliary the side af the uhneavt6n and
proposed that We shodld get up sweep among our
selves, Just to give interest it like" proposal
which need not say was indignantly rejected
Every time the bell rang we stood up in the pheeay-
ton, but could nothing except the backs of the
people-on the drags Immediately before US. Never
theless preserved gentlity to the last which
was the hour of six when George, with the aid of
many volunteer ostlers, hauled US out from the ma -
of vehicles in which were imbedded and put y an |
the road. The horses were put TO- Gen,l5e rtountad
the box, and away went homewar,.5
1t was not long before were .ssai,ea with show
er of ehaf and peas. George was commanded for the
hundredth time to come Out of his hat Miss Crouch
er was asked for lock of her hair frequent in
quiries were made of Mr.. Candy and myself if we
didn't feel very we'll This last being sarcastic au-
sion to the rigid gentiIity of behavior Miss
Croucher laughed outright at a joke once and was