The Xenia sentinel. [volume] (Xenia [Ohio]) 1863-186?, 1865-03-31
FRIDAY, MARCH 81, 1866.
Cousin SiIeIs Oil Farm.

Cousin SiIe's Oil Farm.
The most dreadful SMELL What on
earth is it? SallyI-I say
fP'rsps it's The lie; some folks doseH't
like it. How de du, Cousin Peter?'
It wasn't Sally the ehambermaid. I
knew that at once. But turning, I was
puzzled to guess who the stranger was.
To my knowledge 1 had never seen him
before or I never should have forgotten
him. Long and lank, with straw.colored
hair and blue eyes like dull glass beads,
with a nose long enough to have made one
apiece for three ordinary faces, and with
apparently two joints in it, both movable,
and long expanse Of yellow cheek awful
to behold. Attired also in the blue, long
tailed coat and brass buttons, the yellow
vest and tall white hat of the stage Yam
kee. verify believed that some one of
my theatrical friends had played a trick
upon me, and was visiting me 10 masquer-
ade.
How de du, Cousin Peter2' said the
presence again; and I replied, upon my
guard ags inst practical joke.
'And pray, what am I to call you Sir"
'Lor', don't stand on no ceremony
amt stuck up if I am fOrehanded-J
call me Cousin Sile,' like you used ter
Then I knew him. It was cousin Silas
Peek, whom 1 had not seen since we play
ed marbles. and robbed the orchards to-
getber down in Maine. He had always
had those eyes and that nose, probably in
his cradle, buthe wore roundabouts and
was three feet high when We parted
Cousin SilasI You had the advantage
of me, I admit. Delighted to see you
COh, Mrs OpieD What has brought you
this way?
Cousin Silas tucked his coat-tails under
his arm, andsat down on a chair the wrong
way, with his elbows on the back and his
chin in both bis hands, before be answer
cd me in one monosyllable =
lie
What did you say
lie.
'Ob, oil?'
'Sartinly, lie.
As he warmed up-I mean outwardly,
not with the subject Of conversation that
awful smell grew stronger. Despite my
desire always and under all circumstan-
ces to appear we'll bred, was obliged to
snuff audibly Silas heard INC. i
plain tu be scent you haven't gone
into it yet he said.
Into What2' | asked. 1
Inter lie.
l trust a wise Providence will never
see it necessary for my discipline that
should go into thing 1 so abominate, I
said. And then, as the smell grew strong
er, began to think of my cousins expIa-
nations Of bursting cans, overAoWing hogs
heads, etc.
Hooked at him, and involuntsrily shifted |
again. SOmeaCcident? said inquiriDg-
cHey?'
you spoke of having been in oil. Ez-
cuse me; it is apparently-Painfully SO.
BY what aoeideut-'
'Oh, 'twarn't azzackly accident inter
rupted Cousin Silas. 4 s'pose you heard
of my marrying Suke JenksT
Yes. I received cake.
'Lor', yes; Mother jerks made it;
'tWarn't light. Well, Suke she's dead,
an I'm a WiddiWer.
1 regret to hear it.
Wa'al, it can't be helped, ye know.
Old man jerks died afOre her, an he left
her some land deown in Pennsylvania, be-
sides the jerks farm up our Way,ye see.
sAh - .--
You may say Ah!' Dye know I
went down to see that land, and 'tWarn't
worth shucksP I'd sold it, only nobody
'ud gin me nothin' for it. So I kinder
gin up all thoughts about it till last year
Then what dye s'pOse happened 2
you sold it.
Any thing green in my eye, Cousin
Pete2 No, that land took to spouting.
To spouting?'
Yes, you never seen the beat. Little
boy took a coal shovel to get some sile for
a flower pot, and the minute be struck the
lrth up spouted lie, ike this yer fountain
you Workers are so proud of when its on
full head. Most smothered the child.
Wa'al, fact is my tracts an lie tract.
Dear me
'Of course I came down an fetcht
hands. Meow thar's about fifty lie foun-
tains in full play. Men drawin' of it in
buckets. Got to be guarded by men with
rifles like this here Emperor O. the French
when he goes a-ridia', t'other spectators
is so enVious o me down thar. Made the
biggest pilea goin'. Buy out A. T. Stew
art or Astor if 1 like. Tell you, like the
smell or not, lie is a good thing to get in
ter, Cousin Pete.
Excuse me, I said, but don't call
me Pete. It's vulgar; don't like it. I
write myself Pierre; the French form of
the name
LOr', du you,' said Silas, 'wa'al won
der. l should like Pete; it sounds good;
sort O. short for petroleum. That's why l
like Sile. Take away the S and its lie,
you know. So you amt in ile2'
L began to wish was.
Come down here to visit hotels, said
Sile, going on. want to contract to fur,
nish 'em with superior quality of table lie
for saids and sich. New well started yes
terday morning; delicious stuff; fetch you
up bottle
4 beg you won't trouble yourself, I
said agbast.
No trouble at all-Cousin Pete-or
what's that you wantto be called Peer q?
Besides, you can write me a puff. Big
Eest lie man gOin', finest quality lie etc.
You're in the newspaper line, hear.
i venture TO call myself an author, ! I
remarked "a