The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-02-03

NUMBER 6.
Spare Lines.

u
Because it makes the corn grow.
The smaller tho caiibre OF The mind, The
greater the bore Of aperpetually open mouth.
Il is the tendency Of the measles and scold.
Ing women to break out.
why is . lover like knocker' Because
he 10 bound to door.
The best adhesive label you can put ca
your luggage Is to stick 10 II yourself.
Crocuscs flourish 10 washington-snd all
the other cusses.
An exchange paper thinks u 10 poor con-
ISOLATION for survivors, that "tho good die
6rst."
What Rsh would cockney captain name
II he ordered one OF bis men TO lift lady
aboardf Oyster.
A gentleman who has recently. lost an eye.
begs to intimate that ho has now "vacancy
for pupil"
Il may soundli Ike paradox. yet the break.
ing Of both wings OF an army 10 pretty sure
way to mako 1t Hy. -. =
Il Is reported In military circles that the
real eecret Of the success Of our second at.
tack on Fort Fisher Is. that tho rebels were
Terry.6ed into submission.
Far better. 10 its place, the lowliest bird ..
Should sing Alright to God the lowllest song,
Than that soherub strayed should take the word,
And sing his glory wrong.
A young candidate for the legal profession
was asked what he should do first when em.
ployed 10 bring an action. "Ask for money
on account" was the prompt reply. He
passed. Ia
A physician. speaking Of the frail consti.
tuition Of the women Of the present day; 70.
marked that We ought to take great care Of
our grandmothers, because We shall never
get any moro.
A paper In Wales thus begins ono Of its
paragraphs :-"The inhabitants OF Llsnbed.
rgoch and of the parish of fariinsthaiar.
neithat." A very pleasant sound those last
twenty.three letters must have.
It being disputed whether II was letter
or merely an aspiration, the celebrated Rev.
Rowland Hill maintained Il was letter;
"otherwise. he added, III must have been
i'll all my life.' "
A person Of the name of Frost having BY
mistake left on the counter of q banking
house sum Of money no had just drawn,
the head clerk called to one of bis subordin-
ates, "Hail Frost; he's mist his DUE"
Why Is a French steam.vesscl on her pas
sage from Calais to Dover sign Of tho ami.
cable relations Of the two great European
powen7 Because It shows tho existence Of
q French.ship between France and England.
When the inspector of weights and mess-
ures, con6scates the scales OF an unjust trad
DR.. what Is the necessary consequence Of tho
act to the latter7 He is compelled to Go
the error Of bis weighs!
How small and transitory is often the price
for which We bargain away the happiness of
woman's life. 1t Is like Xerxes. who car.
ried war toto Greece because he liked eating
Attic6gs.
An exchange paper mentions, ss the last
words spoken by the dying, those Of stage
driver Of California, when his bed was sur:
rounded by his brethren Of the whip: "Boys
! am on down grade, and ] can't reach the
brake"
A celebrated Oxford scholar. who PROCESSES
an indifference to music, was once asked what
he thought Of an orchestra which had been
performing grind overture; he replied that
he was only impressed "by the wonderful CO.
incidences Of the 6ddlers' elbows"
A physician, examining his student o. 10
his progress, asked him "Should man fall
into we'll forty feet deep, and strike his
head against one Of the tools with which he
had been digging, what would be your course
u called In as surgeon y The student no
piled, ~ should advise them to lot the msu
lie, and till up tho WE'LL"
Once, In conversation upon dynamics,
the late George Stephenson. the celebrated on.
gineer, having been asked, "What do you
consider the most powerful force In naturof'
81 will soon answer that question:" he 70.
piled cit 10 tho eye OF woman 70 theman
who loves her for II woman looks with sf.
fection on man, should hs 20 TO tho utmost
ends Of the earth, the recollection Of that
look will bring him back. t......
III dislike everything belonging 10 hunt.
ing," said lady to an old fox hunter ait
is 60 cruel" "Crusl!" said the old man,
with apparent sstonishmsnt; "why, madam,
II can't possibly be cruel. for We al know
that the gentlemen like Il. and We sll know
that the horses like Il, and wc oil know that
the hounds like IL; and" alter long pause,
"none Of us can know ior certain that the
foxes don't like It." f-r-. ....If.-T =.
Punctuation, that 10, putting The stops In
the right places, cannot bs too ssdulously
studied. We lately read In country paper,
the following account Of Lord PaImerston's
appearance IN the House Of Commons =
"Lord Palmerston then entered on his head,
. white hat upon his feet, large bot we'll.
polished boots upon his brow, a dark cloud
IN his hand, his faithful walking-stick 10 his
eye. /" mcnscing glare saying nothing. He
eat down." = .-'g',l~ .li
A CLEAN SELL.-A shrcwd countryman
was In town tho other day-gawky. uncouth
and innocent In appearances, but. in reality,
with bis eyc-tccth cut. Passing up Chath.
sn street. through the Jews quarter, he was