The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1865-03-22

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Total Ann Alice's.. .............. 1900
I have tried the crude Peter in my fam
lily with the most gratifying results. 1t
is good for all the ills flesh has an heir.
toSssld margin over for tomorrow. 1t
will cure Group, plumbago, chronic inc
briatien, Dutch Gap Canals, draft riots,
corns, onions, leaks in boots, sore head
(for politicians), fevers of all kinds, can
Ger on the pocket, baldheadcdness, tight
boots, and is the great instantaneous
cure for all poverty, even in the most
hopeless stages, or on foot, for that mat
ter. Applied according to directions it
will sweep carpets, write letters, play faro,
drive fancy horses, read late novels, visit
opera, cause the hair to grow on boot
heel, cut, finger nails, answer the door
bell, unlock hearts, brush clothes, mend
watches, make champagne-cocktails, pick
out the best cuts in market, sweep the
streets, pick teeth on steps of fashiona-
Bile hotels, make stump-speechcs, deliver
lectures, kiss all the girls, avoid the draft,
cut ladies' slippers, catch a pickerel, run
steamboat on the Upper Mississippi in
time of drouth, write obituaries for
Bethel Fishermen, elect second rate men
to Office, shut your neighbor's eyes and
mouth, and all on one application.
The refined article is still more won
derful Applied gently it will paint a
lady's cheek, plumpify her fair form and
figure, play the piano, ornament the walls,
cure drunkenness, secure prayers from
the clergy, make old clothes as good as
new, cuie fits, gout, blues, repinings, put
marble floors. in dwelling house, match
horses, color gray hair and whiskers jet
black, varnish faults invisible, and keep
pocket full of cash. There is no per-
fume like it in the world, especially in
the crude state.
find also that for tho euro of broken
hearts it has no equal. Two doses will
cure boy of using tobacco. Applied
with feather, it will saw wood, hoe corn,
pour molasses ON hot pancakes, dodge
behind the door after kissing another
mans wife, husk oysters, divorce clam
shells, crack butter-nuts in farmer-boy
style, hatch chickens from wooden eggs
shut hot stove-doors, cure jealousy, mend
burnt dresses, frizzle hair, make correct
returns of army votes, teach minister
to make short prayers when there are nc
cushions on the pew-seats, give fashiona.
BILE children lessons in politeness, pay
salaries Of country preachers with more
promtness, and protect army-chaplain'
from camp evils. 1t will also solve chess
problems, point horse-nails as we'll a
Jokes. make elder and play the violin.
From developments being made, ex
pect to be able in week to report it, al
it will fill up the army, destroy shoddy
conquer the South, make heroes of hot
house generals, add to the comforts o
boarding houses, carpet church-aisles
/ soften sleeping car bcrths, keep tobacco
chewers from soiling carpets, restor
! peace, lessen the price of gold, bolster a.
] damaged regulations, marry aid maids
! find homes for war-widows, make con
ductors honest, keep women from gossip
curl straight hair, and give free passes O
all railroads. Such is my Ann Alice @
/ Peter Oleum. With assurances of m
6 most formidable distinguished considera
: ton, and the highest personal regard fo
: your Highness, and hoping these fe'
> lines, which ] take my pen in hand t
f ffhope you will enjoy the same blessing,
4 have the pleasure to submit my An
IL Alice for Oil on Science.
. "BRIcK" PoMERoY.