The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1865-03-16
sUKY FOLsOM's GENTILlTY.
BY CLARA AUGUSTA.

' VIM ASoiS0o III tue CIIy VI Hilduei
phia.
Sally lived in style. She had three
story house /; four servants and carriage
Sally's husband was in the hardware bus
mess, and had made fortune by the ris,
IN metals.
Mrs. Folsom returned home in dis
contented frame of mind. In conse
quence of which unfortunate condition
poor Mr. Folsom was treated to double
distilled curtain lecture, the salient points
of which all married men, with strong
minded women for wives, are fully ac
quainted with:
"Now, only to see cousin Sally's house
:" pursued Mrs. Folsom-'1ts worth q
Iv'yagc to Jerrycow. It's got a purgatory
on top where you can see ali over crea-
ton, if not furder; and there's purtu-
guese over the front door, with vine,
that looks some like bean vine, only it
haint, creeping all over it, And then its
lit, clean from garret to seller with lamps
stuck up against the ceiling, and all you
have to do is just turn facet, jest as you
do to cider barrel, and its all fixed"
"Whats all fixed 2" queried Mr. Fol-
som.
"Why the gas to be sure The rooms
are as light as day"
"Don't have to use no matches, nor
nothing, then Cracky, what saving"
COZ course you have to light it the same
rs any other lamp. Folsom. you hant
quite so bright as you might be-"
'Well, l haint without company"
muttcrcd Folsom, whopping over with his
face to tho wall, and Stimulating a snore.
"Now David, don't you go for to turn
your back expecting to be allowed to
Isnore, For you shant-" with an emphatic
dig Of the elbow-'I haint half done yet.
I've worked ike slave all my days, and
it's mighty hard if | can't take some COM
fort of my life"
Il don't hendcr you," said Folsom
mcekly.
"Well then, keep your eyes and ears
open and hear what Pm going to say
m going to see if l can't have things a
leetle more genteel. If | can't fix up the
house to my mind, guess l can dress
kinder fashionable. I've been to the
city, and know what's what [ mean to
make Squire Jones wife as5 old Mrs.
Simp draw in their feathers. They're
allus a thinking that nobody knows moth
ing about the fashions but them And
Mrs. Jones bunnit don't stick up SO much
by two inches as the fashion, aud her
gound is full finger too long in frunt.-
[ mean to have new suit, and have it
made up ar le mood"
GLOW in times that taint bloomer
[ hope"
"That's the French for in the fashion.
Almost everybody talks French now
I've larnt lots of it sense I've been gone
There's plury buss unum, and bony fide
and il pcnscross, and party vous, and in
fnitive, and lots more of the sort"
"Ies, but what does all that tumble
mean 2"
''The land I hope ycu don't think I
know? Nobody pretends to know the
meaning. Them words is only throwed
into conversation to make it sound grand.
But about my dress. In the fust place
there's my hair, Cousin Sally has hern
rolled round rat and two mice, aud fixed
with waterfall behind"
"Lord, Suke! you haint in earnest, be
you?"
"To be sure don't bounce up in bed
so you'll bust the bed cord, it's rather
week now, in places. I've got to get the
rat fran 6yed riOht off
1.-The rat trap; now Sukc, somebody's
been imposing onto you"
"No; Maggie-Saly's little gal, told
me about. / asked her what made her
marms hair stick out so behind, and she
said it was a rat, and she had mice in
front"
"Tbe dickens, didn't they smell rather
strong"
"Not a mite Ye see the musk and
perchooly takes all the sceut away. And
then I'm going to have founced goun,
and stick up bunnit, and long criner-
line, and cane, and-and-and-a--a
Here "tired natures sweet restorer"
stepped in, and stopped Mrs. Folsom's
tongue for the night, greatly to the salts
faction of her husband
The week following proved that Mrs.
Folsom had been in earnest when she bad
declared her inteation of beginning to be
gentcel There were mysterious confab-
ulations with her eldest daughter Jemima;
divers visits to the country stores from
which large pacels were sent to the farm
house daily, and a general neglect of the
culinary affairs that made Mr.. Folsom
slam the doors, and filed the mouth of
the hired man with the very biggest kind
of oa;hs.
The grand denouement came full soon.
On Thursday the Foreign Mission So
ciety, for the amelioration Of the condition
of the heather in Twangtopiany, met at
the house of Deacon Babbit
These weekly gatherings were the ex-
citement of the place, and the occasions
on which the ladies congregated to show
their new clothes, and scandalizing their
neighbors.
Mrs. Folsom when arranged was stun