Dayton daily empire. [volume] (Dayton [Ohio]) 1850-1865, 1865-01-03
Ios noMerr, NrddIng.


The county Of away mp in tie noun
tains, boasts Of one Of the best judges in
California On the bench he is drm. decided
/ ard prompt, not caring snap OF tho finger
I for either the applause OF friends or the NUT
tering OF enemies He is, perhaps the most
devoted mau to the INV in al creation, and
has his bead 10 full Of what he terms Judicial
/ talk" that he not uufrequenty 6nds himself
making learned charges, and passing senten.
/ ces outside the court room.
/ On recent occasion, The judge WIS called
on 10 exercise The "power and authority in
him vested in the case Of young couple
who desired wediock OF course be consent
ed 20 perform the pleasant dutv, and on the
\ appointed evening was promptly on hand at
/ thc hour At which the affair WAS TO come or
| The room was crowd d by the beauty and
! fashion Of the town, and none looked more
/ dignihed snd happy than the Judge himself,
sho WAS dressed within an inch of his life
The wine had passed round and round
I the music had censed--the time for making
Joseph Bowers and Nancy Hsrkins one had
arrived Every heart lhrobbpd with the most
delightful emotions The young gentlemen
desired TO know how Joe would stand il, and
the young ladies were anxious to see how
Nancy would suffer the anxious shock. 9th
ers, again, who had closely observed The turn
OF allAirs during The evening, fixed their a.
ten,ion on the Judge, 10 see how ho would
come out Of the scrapc.
AT length the trying moment vas announ-
ced the Judge rose very cautiously from the
chair which he occupied in one corner Of the
room, and, casting bis eyes over the company
he singled out the Sheriff Of the county, who
was present as an invited guest The Judge
l. d. Il
the nature of hs business He was full Of
his judicial talk, and required nothing but
the presence OF the Sheriff 10 start him Look
ing steroy at that officer, he shouted
"Mr. Sheriff, open the Court and call
order"
general twtter followed this command,
in the midst Of which the Sheriff took thu
"Court" by the arm, aud led him to his seat
| in the CORNER; at the same time informing
the august parsonage of the mistake
! Everything now bid for pleasant and sud
den termination OF the affair, until another
annoyance, which was nothing else than the
absence of the bridegroom, was observed IL
turned out that he had ust stepped across
the streets to Join his friends in a parting
drink but before his return, some cold blood
ed wag had whispered into the ear of our old
fogy the cause Of ''the delay Of tho proceed
ings" Instantly the chair in Ihe corner
moved and in that direction all eyes we're
fixed
"Mr. Sheriff" bawled the Judge, "bring
Joe into the Court on a supenar," (the Judge
had his own way o pronouucing the word)
then eddressiNg the bride, who had stood in
the foreground and hung her head in deep
confusion, he adIed-"I s'pose you are the
plaintiff Well, don't take on. Innocence
aud virtue will be protected in this here
Court"
This WAS the saddest blunder of all The
Judge was again made to see his mistake, and
would bave been considerably set back, had
it not been for corrective in the shape of
"lorty drops of the critter," which he in
stantly applied
In a few moments all was ready in right
down earnest The bridegroom had arrived
full Of Joy. The excitement was intense
He evidently felt every inch Judge.
"J.J-o Bowers" commenced the man
Of law, in that distressing style of speech
with which he was invariably troubled, when
under the influence of liquor, "J-J-oe BIB
overs, stand up. Have y-y-you anything to
s-s-say w-why 5 seulence--
"Stop, stop, stop, Judge shouted the
Sheriff from the back part Of the room, you
are not going to hang the man, but marry
him
The Judge drew long breath and blinked
rapidly but stood his ground well. Recover
ing himself he proceeded
"J-J-o-e B-o-w-e-r-s, do y-you t-take
Nancy H-Harkens for y-your wife, so help
me GodY'
This was tolerable effort, and Joe nodded
/ assent
| "N-Nancy Harkens, it now remains fol
this C-Court To-"
t Here the Sheriff again interrupted the
t Judge, reminding him of the real business o
c the evening,
"Miss INFANCY" resumed the Judge, after
being Sc, Alright "d-d-do y-y-you take Jo,
' B-Bowers for husband ito the best OF your
n knowledge aud b-belief or d. do you not p
"You can bet will, softly answered the
9 light hearted Nancy
u The Judge then took the hands Of the hap
g py couple and joining them, wonnd up al
follows:
ut now r.remains for this here Court tC
pronounce you j Joe Bowers aud y-You Nan
J., cy Harkins, man and wife; and--(here thu
Judge paused to wipe the PRECIPITATION from
his face )-m-may G-6 God Ormighty h-hay,
mercy on yy-your soulsl--Sherif, remov,
the culprit
n The company roared. Joe and Name,
K weakened The Sheriff was taken with
leaving. The Judge let himself out loose il
!; a glass of spplejaek. 1t was the creates
wedding ever Witnessed