The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1865-08-10
rFrom AN the Year Round.l
MY TWO DERBIES.
BY CHARLES DICKENS.

I have been twice to the Derby. On the
first occasion | went as a snob, in a green
grocers van, with an eighteen-gallon cask
stout hanging over the tail board; on the
second occasion--two Wednesdays ago-I
went as SWELL in barouche and pair, with
champagne hamper under the coachman's
box. believe am justified, from the ba-
rouche point of view, iii regarding the occu-
pant of the greengrocer's van as a snob; and
equally, from the van point of view, i'll re-
garding the occupant of the barouche as a
swell | will not say which character as
sumed for the occasion-whether, being a
swell, pretended to be snob, or, being a
snob, pretended to be swell. Suffice it,
that on both occasions the part undertook,
at very short notice, was adequately sus-
tanned"
l cannot, by mentioning the name of the
winner, indicate to my sporting readers the
exact year when travelled to Epson Downs
in greengrocers van; but it was good
many Derbies ago The greengrocer's pref
ty daughter, who was courted all the way
by young man (ot whom | did not ap-
prove,) is now matronly person with a
considerable family, all the hideous image
of that young man, who is a veterinary, of a
morose disposition, and subject to spasms of
drink. | sigh when think of that pretty
girl, so fair, SO gay, and light-hearted then;
80 careworn, SO toll-burdened now. She
married that young man for happiness-as
if she had not been happy then-and now
she "never sees any pleasure" Her Derby
days are over long ago.
The company began to assemble in Lit
tie Green street at six o'clock in the morn
ing. The vans-there were two OF them
were ready to start, and Mr.. Povey, the pro-
prietor, Respondent in red plush velvet
Observation-Disclosures lustre, by the way was
considerably dimmed by very dingy white
hat-was pacing up and down on the pave
ment opposite the shop, all anxiety to mount
the box and be off. The excursionists ar
rived; generally in the order observed by
animals on entering the ark; that is to say,
two and two, male and female and this ar
raugement insured so much natural disci-
pline, that there would have been no diff
Guilty whatever in making an immediate
start, had it not been for the eighteen gallon
cask of stout, subscribed for by section of
the party, which, relying upon our utter
ignorance, of the principle of the inclined
plane, gave itself up to inert obstinacy, and
for some time, resisted all our efforts to lift
it on to the billboard of the front van. It
was got there at length; but some further
delay was occasioned in consequence of an
energetic young man, exhibiting a large ex-
panse of shirt front rashIy offering to knock
in the tap with half of paving stone.-|
Here again the want of scientific knowledge
was keenly felt particularly by the energet-
ic young man with the shirt front, and his
weetheart in new white muslin with blue
spots, who, owing to the tap not having
been previously turned off,received the first
pint of the stout all over their inery, mis-
hap which established cause of quarrel be-
tween the pair for the rest of the day, and
NAV, for all know, have led to the final
cutting of their loves In two. In such small
incidents doth Turk our human fate-which
sounds like poetical quotation but it isn't,
at least not that | know of.
Well, we got into the vans two and two
as if we had been pairing off for wholesale
matrimony, slowed away our nose-bags and
stone bottles under the seats, lighted our
pipes, put our arms around our sweethearts
waists, and away we went rafting up Lit
tie Green street, with crowd of boys round
us hurrahing like mad. 1t was very fine
start; but unhappily for the eclat of tearing
by the opposition greengrocer's in a manner
to make the opposition envious, halt was
suddenly called.-There were eighteen gal
Ions of beer in the advance guard van, but
there was nothing to drink it out of. Our
groom in waiting, who was the greengro-
GERS boy, went back for vessel and re-
turned presently with gooseberry measure
which, at more brilliant period of its ca
reer, had been what is publically known as
pint pot 1t had not been secured lately
and it was rather battered, but a young
man of the company, who appeared to be
familiar with the operation, deity gave it
rubbing with handful of straw gathered
from the floor of the van, and off we go
again; young man signalled our triumph
ant departure to the early risers Tottenham
courtyard, by unfurling blue cotton
pocket-handkerchief in the breeze | don't
know on what pretence of necessity or con-
venience it was that we called at so many
places between Tottenhan courtyard and
Charing- Cross; but certain it is that we did
pull up at great many places (mostly pub
iic), and were a very long time on the way.
Possibly Mr.. Pevoy was anxious to show
his acquaintance that he, his family, and
the nobility, gentry, and public in general,
bis patrons, We're going to the Derby in
style. was getting rather uneasy at Char
lng-Cross 1t was getting very near the
time when staid business men, with whom
we all have some acquaintance, are In the
habit OF making their way towards the City
and here am in a greengrocer's omen van
the driver smoking short pipe, each youno
man with his arm round his young woman
waist, all joining in popular chorus. and
the groom In attendance running behind