Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1865-10-19

We 'dhS inc toiIoWlug IIODl IL SeIlt5 VI
very clever articles in The Westera Railroad
Gazette, understood to be from the pen of
J. c., or, az he is known among his Wiscon-
sin brethren, Shanghai Chandler
OfTUMwA, Iowa Oct g, 1863
I'm in 0ttumwa; likewise all vegetable nature in
this latitude is in an d4tttmn 1cay
''The flowers OF spring are faded now,
The woods sere and cpld
The persimmon's cheek is flush ing,
And the pawpaw shines in gold.
But bitter beer is gushing
Ia the doggery cross the way;
For good old stock and lager
Are not in Ottnmwa
There is front yard on the back side of this De
! pot House, night 1GrRtSt my window Shoats sadly
| IN nee'i OF shampooing loygag in the sun; old and
youhg 9ntnrheys strut and exhibit long rcd noses;
/ RANK Old horny goats and bleatng Kids gambol and
DUCK against each other The prototype Of all these
! QeddF1pHS and fowls, may be seen on the hotel
| pa1zaiorin, right the track Foul bipeis
with bTeeches on, cuss and swear and talk uuQreyn-
/ mstieaily OF horses and dogs and OF the ssbIood,
| they are full ofi and instead of CLICKING at their
horses and whistling in their puns thew cluck at
! Tige and Bose and remark to tho horSes ssbnv1,'
Why don't they tell EN- "oats2" Squrts With Ione
red noses and their hair parted bah ind strut tpT-
! kay-Ee to and fro, and sometimes back nm and
/ gobble. Heavy old eurmudgeons rank in ain and
| speculation, sport long goatees, and open their
mouths unto wealthy little fopdoodles in kids who
ft1Sk ABOUT tU6ul, anu UuHtpe anu and D2Cf.
| against each other at Faro and other banks
"Suah is liten' All the worlds Depot House
/ barn-yard; and the travelling men IN it
swine, goats, tom-turkeys and the like Don't give
| me the part OF Dogberry by writing down a
! nlaile's par ent
This ottumwa the present terminus of the
Burlington and Missouri Railroad, which 3ssscfs with
/ the Des Moines Valley Road right alongside the
! D. NJ. river. Mr.. J 8. Wolf and his two brothers
from Cedar Rapids or Chicago or some other village
have taken contract to build sixty miles further
1TAI e. M IL DnnI xJI..
and are now working small force, and calling for
larger. They are old solid contractors, and tho
work will go on with strong pull, and eventually
| fetch up at either Nebraska City Plattsmouth
/ something more than zoo miles away The track on
the Des NJ. Y. Road is being laid at the Of
| about $50 yards per day, north-westward from Pei
| la the present terminus toward the capital The
naxt Hon. Legislature viii only have 10 stage it
SO miles from Monroe the next time they 60
| to enact laws and other inluties palla, Ia word
derived from pT0.pellar or pelicdn) has been tho
| terminus for several months; hut the road Is
graded ten twelve miles beyond; and right soon
the Pellacans must turn the roads end to the
Monroarers; who in their turn must needs turn
| over their end again to other impatient walters.
Des Moines river at this place Is now about from
II to 20 rods wido on an average aud is SO shallow
that this morning saw great long string OF onl-
/ grant wagons fording IL inst below the ferry The
| bed of the river ia fiat, solid rock. A Chippewa
Indian would call it rs ed7edbd.] ln0 building stone
qnarries are dlgged near the shore lower down th9
river. Boats did once ply on this river, when 'twaa
buoyant yea, twice and many moro times did they
do it. And now betimes wee bit OF a craft comes
putting up, more for fun than for commercial gap.
And take her all In ALL ten months iu the year tbs
Des Moines river is better adapted to sheepwashin
thirst quenching and baptsmal purposes, than to
navigation Her waters are pellued and her banks
bonnie those Of the Doom; while those of the
| Skunk river, thirty miles east muddy, dark
pestiterous and in every way as foul as Chicago
river.
| wish trans-Missis5ippi railroads were endowed"
with better rolling stock and more Of it. Who likes
to be snailed along in shocking old passenger
| beh ind squealing and believing live stoek3 Who
likes the odor the melody thereof Is 1t not bad
| enough to be compelled to ride in mixed crowd og
rather bad-smeling emigrants end several weeping
babes, and sundry suspicious characters, without
having to mix with other cattle2
When have a model railroad, all my own, I'll
tell yon how she'll go Doubleti track, sieerai
stone-baasted. Three classes of ears in each pas
senger train second class tickets to bo the Same
rate as now first caa5, thirty per cent. higher;
third class twenty per cent. lower--Il make ten
per cent out OF the snohs.) | know this European
system Is objected to as being anti democratic-auti
American-but like it. believe in the propriety
of keeping dirty ragannflfns out OF tho ladie6 ear
where your wife and mine Mr. Editor, he'd rather
ride than in motley tobacco chewing crowd No
man putteth wine on to an old garment; AND
no admireth piece Of new cloth stuck in ar
old bottle; ard when come too see honest e)men
and yeoWomen all seated around among Flora Mo
Fiimsoya and Doctors of Divinity and physic liable
to shock the class and contamnalo the other5
morals can Int regard the arrangement as much
like jewel In a Suffolk swines snout-both good
and beautiful in themselves, hut exceedingly ont OK
place On that model road Of mine, | shall have
palace cars upholstered with purple and fine linen
for first class; good family plush 20 guii blue hair
for socord class; and wooden seats stuffed mis-
straw for third class. smoking car, with spit
toons at spitIange shall be the limo 'twixt second
and third class. Those who will buy hrstciaas
tick Will be opulent men, snobs, diylnes ana Eel
lows travelling with thor wives, sisters, or Dncena
del TObosos and the iika-aU of whom will be exc
pected to wear good clothes have snakes-foot oil on
their hair and be properly smeared with the mo &c
sweet-stnkng perfume known to LnbIo or Bllss
Sharp. Business mel, stocs, N isapthroll7 SITS, PHI
iosophers, newspaper correspondents mercantile
guerrillas and others who intend TO mind then own
business, will ride on the ssoondeia They are
the ella 81 who will be most bsneted strange
male will DO detracting their minds from proper
channels, and Patrick, nor Ole, wocdenshod
Hans will ever modest than or make them afraid
of catching itch or lice.
In the third class may be found the grea un-s
washed of all nations; emigrant women, sucking
twins hairy tooth ed laborers with muddy boots
and awful foul breath low lubberly louis ith
their boots off, who haven't washed nor changed
their shirts for four eks candidates for office
fishing for votes by af1lntion aud associations traeE
peddlers; members Of congress-; detective police
men: and in fact everybody else who needs watch
ing My conductors will say to 1rst-cassers with u
nod and bland smile ''your ticket if you please p
TO the next class they will the pert afr o.
an equal and say "ticLst| When they got among
the candidates and other low people, they viii Yell
''TQKETs !" loud enough to be heard at my (the Sup
| erintendeDts) office!
All know what the world il made Of and what
makes it go. Biologists may say that it is made
principally of beryI, and philosophers may advocate
that it goes by magnetic gravttatioD and slc, but
know il ia made of classes, and goes by coaxine
and drvlngone class riding and driving and swear
ing at, and preaching to- and cheating and swim
ding, and depressing and grinding as much OF tho
rest Of tho world they dare to, and sott'soaping
the rest as long as they make money by IT, than
letting them go to grass as quick az ther innnence
is gone.
Put me in Superintendent Of Railroad ii you
would see the world as it's / can beat SAKE OF
Cervantes at classifying humanity. Some old road
sters are trying hit this Idea Of mine but they
never can fully do 1t until they get tickets graded IN
price according to the quality Of the coach
/ SCOOP hence down to the Illinois Central Road
STAR FREIGHT.