Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1865-01-21
Miscellaneous,

A GRANDMOTHER--AS two urchlnS were
trotting along together, one of them fell and
broke pitcher he was carrying. He COM
menced crying, when the other boy asked him
WHY he took on So "Cause, said he, "when
get home mother will whip me for breaking
the mug" "What |" said the other, 'haint
you got no grandmother living at your
house?" "No," was the reply. "Well,
have, and might break two mugs, and they
daren't whip me-"
Josh Billings advice to young lady as to
how she shall receive a proposal: q You
ought tew take it kind, looking down hill,
with an expreshun about half tickled and
half scarf. After the pop il over, if ure
Iuvver wants to kiss you, / don't think /
would say yes or no, but let the thing kindOv
take its own course. There is one thing /
hav always stuck tew, and that liz, give me
long courtships and short engagements"
FARR.GUT.-At the late reception in honor
of this noble chieftain at the Brooklyn Acade-
NV of Music, lady asked the old Viking if
it were rue that he was dashed to the mast
head down at Mobile. "Well," said the Ad-
miral-who is as artless as child" I'll tell
you all about il. You know in a fight the
smoke of the guns lies on the water, and,
naturally, would want to see over it, to
know what was going or. Well, l would
Jump upon a box-so high" Indicating with
his hand,) "then would get up a little high
er; and by and by got up to where they
say. | suppose / was two hours getting as
high as that. had little rope that l had
dashed around me Just to keep me from fall
ing in case | should gethurt. Every one, you
know, is liable to get hurt in fight"
JOSH BILLINGS on HORsEs.-Pedigree liz not
important for u fast trotting boss; eff he can
trOt fast, never mind biz pedigree. Thare il
a CRATE meny fast men, even, who amt got no
pedigree. Thare amt mulch art in drivin' a
trottin' boss jist hold 'em bak hard, and
boiler 'em ahed hard, that's awl. A boss I'll
trot fast dOun bill, espeslala Of the britchin
brakes. Kuller IL no kriteIion. I've seen
oriul meen kulIers, ecsept green; l never Gee
q meen one Nv this kullsr. Hoses hv tn q
horrabil old ale, and I've often ceen them
fully prepared for deth and then not di after
anvil Hethens are allus kind tn bosses; ii
il amung Christian people that boss haz
tew trOt mile heets in hot day, for $4,000
doIluTs of counteTft mummy.
CURIOUS CONDOLENCES OF FAITH.-There
are many facts showing the common origin OF
the various religions. The sacred book OF
the HIndoos foreshadows an incarnation, for
the same purpose for which the advent was
made, and almost gives the very name of the
Savior in its Crishna. Its story runs thus
The earth was oppressed with evil spirits till
she could no longer endure their injustice,
and made en- appeal to the gods Vishnu
said, " / will become incarnate in the house
of Yadu, and will issue forth TO mortal birth
from the womb of Devaci. 1t is time
should display my power, and relieve the OPP
pressed earth of its load" Angels made the
annunciation to Devaci-"0 favored among
women, all nature shall have cause TO exult.
Then followed the spiritual conception; and
in due time the birth. When the celestial
infant appeared, chorus of heavenly spirits
saluted him with hymns. The father anC
mother had their eyes opened for time, anC
knew him TO be the preseryer of the world
and began to worship him.
Ininfancy Crishna perfOrmedlmiracles. Will,
tending his fathers herds great serpent s.
poisoned the river that shepherd boys ant
cows died upon its banks; those he raised Il
life again, and destroyed the great serpent
On another occasion, when the shepherds an'
their cattle were carried off, he creates
others; and once, when the dairy maids com
planned to his mother that he had been drink
ing the milk, he opened his mouth and aske'
her TO see; and looking, she beheld tn,
whole universe, thus proving his divinity, be
cause the Supreme Being contains the uni
verse within himself. His life is thus givel
and his wonderful works, till the people cam
to the final conclusion that he was the Grea
Being who is exempt from birth and death
Most singular is the whole narration, and won
derfully analogous to the incarnation of on
Lord. The whole story is found in the Bhaga
vat Geeta of the HindOos.
Mas. GLUMPER's BEEF-STEAK PIE.-In DICK
EMS new Christmas story, Mrs. Lirriper'
Lodgers," there is a boarding school, kept b
Mrs Glumper, which is likely to have equs
notoriety with DOtheboys' Hall. Here is a
- al - -A--I-
Mean and debased must be the spirit O
that bullock who would confess TO any shar
in such a productioni Into the composition
of that dish beef entered as largely as tn
flesh of the unicorn into peas porridge. Tn
very wildness of the rumOrs that were aioa
respecting its actual origin proved how dark
difficult, and mysterious was the inquiry
School tradition pointed 10 the most gro
tesQue and inhaTmonious elements, as actual,
detected in the pie. Substances, in texture
flavor and appearance, the reverse of bovine
had been over and over again deposed to b,
the dismayed recipients, who proved thei
faith by preferring famine itse E to "beet
steak" pie. The utter impossbi. ty of identi
flying the ingredients as having ertained Il
any animal recognized by British cooks, wal
the terrific feature of the case.
Whatever was the prevailing cement o
the pie, it was supplemented with minor mat
tiers, about which, though they do not appear
in any accepted racipe for the dish in ques
tion, there could be no dispute.
Sholto Shillito, for instance, who had the
appetite of an ogre, boldly swallowed the
portion assigned him, but quietly and sternly
removed to the side of his plate three fin
gers and ligament Of the thumb of an an
cient dog-skin glove.
Billy Duntze discovered and secreted
something that was for several halves pre-.
served in the school as the leg of a famiDgo
At all events, it was introduced, so labelled
20 every new arrival, on the very first even
ing of his sojourn amongus.
George van Kempen found pair of snuff
fers.
Charley Brooksbank remarked a singular
protuberance in his portion of pie, and, care
fully excavating the same, as if it were a
Ph9nician relic, brought to light something
Ehat looked like the head of a doll that had
been afflicted with hydrocephalus. On being
cut into, it was green. For the first few
weeks of each half-that is, while our peck
et-money held out-we got on pretty well.
Our pocket-money exhausted, starvation
stared Us in the face.