The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-02-17
AND PROPRIETOR.
NUMBER 8.
Spare Lines.

."#
Sure way to be borcd-Go to the oil region.
Why is q sidosaddlo like four quart meas.
ure? Il holds Q gall on.
Many people have just enough conscience
to keep them miserable all their lives.
a private banker Is every man who can lay
his hand on bis pocket. and speak Of his cash.
here. .rg Oh f i'EHV fI'H w.rs sFlI
We tell you, young ladies, that divine love Is
better than human. You had better be on your
own knees than upon the gentlemen's.
Why does the new moon remind one Of gid
dy girl Because she's too young to show
much reflection. VI .i.,.5i f.5...ia.1r
There is said to bo man In the moon. In
the honeymoon there arc both . man and
woman. t....... ...r
Odors from boiling ham. cabbage. &C., may
bo prevented by throwing red pepper-pods or
few pieces Of charcoal into the pot.
Why Is q bridegroom worth more than
bridef Because she Is given away and hc 10
sold. ti ..H07 1.fJ :.
Rum. while In hogs-hcads, Is capableof Of
doing no harm but when 1t gets into mems
heads-look out. t.r
r. one man can hoe o field Of ono acre in
o day, how long will II take two men to do
considerably more than that, II they work at
1t inccssantly!
"Mynhocr, do you know what for We call
our boy Hans p al do not, really" "Well,
will tell you. Der reason we call our boy
Hans is-it ish his name.". ....I ..
A Scotchman asked an lrishman, "Why
were half farthings coined In Englandi"
The answer was, "To give Scotchmen On op.
portunity to subscribe to charitable instita-
tions." I H.r I.5 s.l g.'-... tI
I "Jennie," said Puritan to his daughter,
who was asking his consent to accompany her
urgent and favored suitor to the altar. "Jen-
ME, It's very solemn thing to get married"
81 know II, father" replied the sensible dam.
sci, "buf It's q great deal solemner not to-"
A Captain OF vessel loading Goals went
into merchants counting. house, and rc-
qucsted the loan Of rake. Tho merchant
looking toward his clerks, replied: al have
number of them, but mono believe wish
to be hauled over tho GOALS" r.f..m
A very tedious follow annoyed Douglas
Jerrold very much by his everlasting long
stories, and on one occasion he related having
heard o song by which he was quito carried
away. Douglas looking around, asked II any
ono present could sing that song.
The last will and testament OF shopkccp-
or Of the Rue st. Denis, in Paris, who died
recently, ended thus: "f desire my heirs to
take measures at once for my autopsy, and
to place my body in the hands Of men Of sci-
cncc, that II may DO carefully dinoctcd, for
am determined to know the cause Of my
DEATH" .
A man camc to tho Duke of Wellington.
"What have you to offer ?" "a bullet
proof jacket, your Grace" "Put Il on"
Tho inventor obeycd Tho Duke rang q bell.
An aid-do-camp presented himself. "1ell
tho captain of tho guard n order one of the
men TO load with ball and cartridge" Tho
inventor disappeared, and was never sccn
again near the Horse Guards. No money
wasted in trying that invention. D.. Ola
At q recent temperance meeting 10 Scot.
land, convert got up to spcak. "My
friends" said hc, "thrcc months ago Isigned
tho pledge. [Chees.] In month after.
ward, my friends, had sovereign In my
pocket, u thing never had before. Loud
cheers. In another month, my friends, I
had good coat on my back. q thing mover
had before. Cheers much louder. A fort
night after that, my friends. bought cof.
fin, because l felt pretty certain that if I
kept tho pledge another fortnight should
want one." mo cheers.l q.