Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1865-01-14
THE EVENING STAR.
HOW THEY COOKED ME.

had imposed upon myself in the most heroic
spirit Of self.sacriiice.
81 feel half nclined to ans wer you by put
ting similar query, Minnie" replied; but
since you, ike a strangers letter, must be left
till called for, / will be less curious, and tell
You frankly that do not know whether such
an ausplcious event Will ever happen TO me o.
not. However, If j should make up my mind
TO contract matTimony, you may rely upon
being duly IL formed of the fact"
"Uh, then you are not the terrihie monster
you on &c were" continued Minnie.
"W hat do You mean, Mlnniel do not I'M
drrs'and you | said My sister knew very
we'll did not like the subject.
We'll don't fly into rage. Ernest, and 1
will explain myself forthwith said Minnie.
nArs you woman hateri''
80 No am neither 4 lover nor 4 hatSr of your
Sex at present." replied.
Now, mamma, isn't II too badr' said Min
nie. IL really think sometimes our poor Ecnest
has taken leave of his senses or is laboring IN
Der some Dreadful mania. The idea! a line
young gentleman like you openly avowing his
indifference IS our SEX. Ernest, am shocked,
and shall remain so until you cultivate a more
manly eStImate OF womankiud."
"GOu know pothiDg 1t all about IT," said I,
"Iro must once more remind you that the
present topic Is distastrful TO me. Why, then
do yon peTsevere in trying 10 vex me- simply
because l have not yet discovered the RICH,
obieCtl AS for the honor i may or may no,
bring to the house OF Morland, rest assured,
Gear sister, that my opinions of your sex can
bring discredit upon no one, for few men value
tue woman more highly than do. Your
kolieItnds Tor my welfare NAV be- natural, Min
ME but II Is not pleasant, and L intend to
please myself ABOUT 4 matter which concerns
nobody else"
"SOp, Ernest, stop exclaimed Minnie. ado
not he offended"
However, L did not stop, but went On faster
than ever.
81 SIN over thirty" said /, "and shall soon
be called an old bachelor, L suppose. Well,
whose fault is itthat am not mar riedl What
IL the reason OF nv prolonged experience OF
single bessednessl Why, simply because
have not yet encountered a lady whom l couid
love. Youth, wealth aud beauty have 1attered
and courted me. i have been chosen as an
ohJect of special regard ny your strong minded
woman, Just as an old dowager would choose
French poodle. Nay, some of the most deli
cate syrens OF Eve's fair family have deigned
10 smile upon me, and yet have needed them
not. And whyi Because believed then, and
sull believe, that in their eyes wealth was the
chief attraction; that not one amongst the gay
and loving throng was actuated by q spirit OF
6isinlPrested affection. There, you in uisitiye
Ininz, you have got a bit of my mind" said l,
on the subject before.
"a very nice little speech, Erns ST. observ we'd
Minnie archiy, "and deeply regret my inabl-
iiy to have taken ii down In short hand for
rome future occasion; but l am greatly sur
prIsed 10 learn that ladies are in. the habit Of
woOing gentleman"
mot with " oTds, perhaps replied; "but
the eyes can speak as we'll as the tongue"
"DOubtlesS you are right, Ernest said nv
sister, . but you will condescenn to tell ma
tsince you have rejected so many suitors) what
sort OF q wife would be likely To suit your au-
gust excellencyH
"Why, you tormentiDg little puss," ex-
claimed, "yoU know very we'll the kind of ar
ucle am looking for, and that would class
my self among the happiest OF men il / were
permi;te d TO meet with one whose principles,
disposition ind habits correspondent with
with
"msi' sirl" Interrupted Minnie.
s.YOur own, MInnie," / replied.
.Nay brother that is q false compliment, !
em CERTAIN, persisted the Incorrigible girl. "a
plain, quiet, corner. haunting creatures; a nur-
sery and kitchen philosopher, one VINO can
manage a house better than Irritation; an
am user and teacher of children, whose fingers
rIay more with the needle than the Key board,
would never be the person to captVate the
Ray and talented Ernest Morland. Never
never" SAID Minnie; and she gaKed upon me,
me- with q smile Of well.feigned lncredulity.
nBut, believe me, Minnie, such an individ-
nal would be The very one for me, If she were
as poor as a dressmaker, as uGly as Miss Long.
purse" exclaimed, quite delighted with my
sisters modest description OF herself; land IL
! had been going to place my wants on the
books of a natrimonial agent, could not have
chosen better words"
..Ha. ha! ha, Singular case of mental aberra.
ton. Ernest Morland advertising for wife.
heart TO let unfurnished! Ha!har' exclaimed
Minnie, and she laughed away until was
compelled TO join her in self. defense. Our hi
larity however, at last subsided, ana taxing
lamp from the table, my sympathizing sister
saiu. We'll, Ernest, am truly sorry L cannot
ind you proper partner but in the hope that
the right object viii turn up by-and-by, bid
"G God night, Minnie" said and remember,
lyon please, that we are 20 have no more ma-
trmonIal discussions"
AS Ientered the breakfast room on the follow
irg morning Minnie placed letter Ia my hand,
saying Is she did so, Read that, Ernest. II is
trom cousin Annie az Wakefield. On proceed
ing 10 obey this peremptory order, tou ad the
contents CT the letter 10 be as follows
BROMLEY HALL, WAKkFIELD, May. Is.
UDear Aunt and Cousins:-FeeIing inclined
for a little change OF scene, L shall be glad TO
avail myself OF your kind in vitation 10 visit
London pToyIdiL such an arrangement would
be agreeable al this time. write this IN some
haste, so you must excuse long letter. L shall
have much 10 tell you when arrive, and in
tend 10 bring with me the young lady (my
companiCn) OF whom l have so often spoken.
/ think she is i'll many respects perfection it.
self, and am sure you will like her. My love
10 all. Hoping 10 hear from you soon, / re-
main, you afiectionate cousin,
Hum, q very business like communication,
truly" said j, returning the note 10 my sister;
s'and so this wonderful country cousin has at
showing herself, has shell Well, you had bet.
ter reply 10 her letter by return OF post and let
us have a look at her by all means"
ayes, Ernest" said my mother IL intend to
do so, for l have u great wish that Minnie
should see the young lady whom your cousin
mentions in her letter. l understand she is
very dGCOIDpllsutu llOuSA pSOI
"None Is less worthy on tina; accounts, moth
En-" said |; "but one thing Is quite certain, l
shall DOi-
"Marry Cousin Annie" Interrupted Minnie,
laughing.
"Nu, Miss Matchmaker, I W i'll not do that.
although 1 had no intention Of saying So"
relied, rather sharply.
We'll, Ernest, DO not think you will be
asked To peTpetrate such an act; bat L trust you
Will behave yourself like a gentleman ana a
Christian while she remains with U.s." said
my mother, with quiet smile.
''Do not be alarmed en- that score, my dear
mother" replied and seeing they were both
osnt upon disturbing my equanimity, He
ished my breakfast IN silence and drove INTO
the city "
Well in less than a week after the above con-
versaiion took place, my cousin Annie ac-
companied by her companion, arrived at our
house. They must have come early In the at
ternoOn, for, when l returned from town,
about my usual time, Minnie was preparing
tea in our Hutle sitting room, and the two
strapgeIs ito me at least) were very snugly
die posed upon the hearth.
AS have said, my cousin was quite uu.