Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1865-12-27
Written for the Toledo Blade.
SlF. Nasty Dreams a Dream.
WAsHINoTON, Dee. 10, l86

VII. NaSDy a Dream.
WASHINGTON, Dec. 10, 1865.
Last mite | wss the victim NV another
dream, Eff l don't quit this explorin the
realms of the fucher in my sleep, l shall
be another Saint John. Eff so, I maik no
doubt my revelations will be Nv a remark
able startlin character.
Mathewt the Ablishints had asserted
the power we diskivered they possesst,
after the late elechuns, had gone the
whole fgger. They had forced the South
into the humiliashun NV allowin niggers
to testify, and in the Northern States
had given EN- the elective franchise. Nv
course the edecated and refined democ
rasy would never consent TO be carried
up to the polls alongside NV a nigger-uv
course no Democrat office-seeker would
hoomiliate himself a treatin a Niger
sfore chestnut being a article of faith
with us never to drink with d niger on
less he pays for it.
Therefore, bein helpless, and ~resolvin
never to submit. the heft of the Democ-
rasy determined to emigrate in a body
to some land where the Anglo-Sackson
Good rool.-where there was no mixter of
disgustin African. Mexico was the coun-
try chosen and methawt the entire party,
in one solid column marched there. Our
departure was q ovation. The people on
our route wuz all dressed in white ez a
token NV joy, and from every house hung
banners with inscriptions onto EN-, SIGH
as:
Now Is our hen-roosts safe"
Canada on its way to Mexico! :"
Poor MeXico-bewail thy fate !"
Our march Iesembled very much that
Nv the children of Isral. Our noses wuz
the pillars NV fire by mite, sndeur breath
the pillars Nv smoke by day.
On our arrival to Mexico, the natives OF
that country, struck probably with awe
at the majestic and famin expression Nv
our conferences. hastily gathered up
thir hnnen, and silver spoons, and HOSES
and sich, and Ietreated TO the mountains.
Il wuz a compliment to US that them ez
hadn't anything remained.
Finally we reached a plain where we,
the modern children of lsrel, decided TO
rename, and NV course, the fust thing to
do wuz to form Z government.
Methawt Fernandy Wood, NV New
York, was chosen viva yoce, ez President,
and he slept forerd to hev the oath ad.
ministered to him which wuz 2be dun
by the oldest Justis NV the Peece NV the
late staff NV Moo Gersey, witch hez COM
mitted sooicide. Here a new trouble en-
sood-there wuzn't a bible to be found in
the whole encampment. The difficulty
was got over by a New York Alderman
| yeIIin out,-never mind the oath, whats
the use Nv any oath he takes?" So he
Wuz declared President.
Prest Wood then proceeded to organize.
He requested sich ez he'd held commits.
sions in the army Nv the United States
to step forerd three PAGES. Gems. Mick
lelan, Buel, Fitsjohn Porter and Slocum
slept forerd, and with EN- ONE 1000, a
part NV whom he'd held quartermssters
commissions and who's accounts
jest afOre the battle. mother
didn't balance, bat which alters did jist
after. and others who he'd been dismist
for bein in the rear, when their superiors
desired to see EN- in the front, and who
corsekently considered II u id Ablish-
IN war, wich they didn't approved Nv, no
how.
Then havin ascertained the materia for
ofhcerin his army he axed all them who
he'd been in the service ez prlyates to
step forerd. 100000 obeyed and the Pres.
ident asked the the fust one where he en-
listed, who ansered ez follows:
"At Moo York, April Il, 1864, bounty
$1,000. and at Philadelphia, April IA, '64.
bounty 500; and at Fittsburg, April IL,
GA. bounty $500; and at Cincinnati,
April, l9, 1864, bounty $500, and at"
Enough" said F~ernandy, and glancin
down the line and seein all the faces we've
- IL I'll, a,A ,-npa1n, no asB
I'd no more questions.
Remarkin that it was we'll enuogh TO
| establish a church, he desired all who
we're ministers OF the gospel to step forer
ID. q slept out and desired to explain.
They Good not say that they were just
now in full connection with any church.
they he'd been, but their un-constOoshnel
| Ablishin SnyOGs and conferences he'd &C
soosed EN- NV irregularities in hoss tradin
md various Other Irregularities, and sus-
pended EN-, and silenced EN- and SIGH,
oecoz they were Democrats, but
The Presidenkshrugged his shoulders
and asked ell who could read to step out.
About one half answered, and then here
| 1uestid SIGH OF this number ez Good be
prevailed upon TO accept a small office
md who bleeved themselves fit, to step
out again, and to my unutterable horror
and CONSERVATION, every one but five,
slept out ez brisk ez so many bees. I'M
meiitly there Was al upToar. Them ez
couldn't read swore vociferously hat
there wuz nothin fair about that arrange
ment. Thew never knowed that a man
was obliged to be able TO read to hold of.
tee in the Democratic party, and they'd
never stand that, and they all slept out.
Finally it wuz decided that a elecshun
should be held at some futcher time.
The Dext step wuz to divide EN- up in
to em~ployments. The President request
ed them ez preferred to foller mekanikle
employments to step out. Some thirty
advanced. Them ez preferred farmin.-
About fifty slept out. Them ez Ie-
pected to run small groceries.
There was q sound like the rush NV
many waters. N~inety-eight per cent Nv
all-ceptin the officers and preachers
sprung to the front, but when they saw
their strength, their faces turned white.
Good Lord" whispered they, 1--WE
can't make a Twin out Nv the remainen
two per cent, and the officers and preach
ers 7"
The mass then demanded a division NV
the property, that all mite start alike,
but upon takin a inventory it was found
not wuth while to bother about a divis-
ion.
They then commenced murmurin, and
sed wun to another, oh, for the flesh
pots nv the Egypt re left. I Good at
hum lY of my Ablishun nabers.' There
wuz rich men in our ward, but ez we he'd
the majority, they paid taxes which we
spent !" "Ablishnists is pizen, but it is
well enough to hey enough Nv EN- TO tax
and ez one man, they resolved to return,
and the confusion that resulted from the
breakin up, awoke me.