The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1865-10-13
aflisceIlane,o1n,!s. Il!
A House with all the Modern Oonvenien-
Ces.

tho iututeuou potA toE suo VUsS'u SSp"s'
msnt. and Of course he got rich by Il. At
the end Of two years ot that kind Of bust
ness. he found hins,lf worth half million
People began to call him Mr.. Pollard. in
stead Of Old Pollard. and sleek men in whit
neckoloths called upon him with long SUBJ
scription papers. l cdv h.nah 20
Mrs Pollard awoks suddenly to the knowl
edge that il lily became their altered crcutn
stances to live in ons.story wooden no use
in remote part Of the city. with none o
the convenicnces and Improvements. They
owed It to the children, she said, to inhabi
a house with all the modern conyeniences,
and SEQ something OF the world.
Nehemiah fingered his greenbacks, looked
wise and coincided So house was taken.
Ii would be tedious to relate all the par.
ticulars of tho furnishing, much OF which
was done by contract. The house was large
and commodious. There was a library. con-
servatory, p.rlor, drawing room, dining hall
and modern kitchen. It was heated with a
furnace and lighted with gas: there was a
dumb waiter, spring locks, hot and cold Wa.
term short it wasa house with all the mod
ern conyeniences. .... r...
The library was stocked by stationer.
who received orders. To DO sure. tho books
were we'll bound, and mostly in red backs.
The conservatory was filled by florist. and
Mrs. Pollard stipulated that there should be
plenty Of hollyhocks and poppies.
When all was ready, the family moved in.
Mrs. Pollard sailed about the grand rooms
like queen; but her husband looked abso.
lutely frightened as he surveyed the premis.
es.
by golly, Polly!" he exclaimed. "ifthis
'erc amt little too fine for US ! feel like
n cat in strange garret. Yes, by golly
like two cats. There's dozen things here
that don't know tho names Of what's
them gilt things stuck up in the corner, with
bear.leggcd children with goose wings on
their backs?" ...
"Land sakes. them's cornishes, and the
pigeons is angles. And you will oblige me
by calling me Margaret in future" d..
why. didn't know that was your
name," cried Mr.. Pollard IN wonder.
Peggy is the vulgar Of Margaret, SIR"
"Sho! well. I declare! live and larn !"
"Do take your feet of that ottoman, and
don't lean your head against that paper hang
ings. Like enough it's greasy."
shouldn't wonder, pork packing is rath'
er greasy business"
"Mr. Pollard, if you'll never allude to
your business again Ill be thankful. 1t Is
vulgar to bring home your shop with you.
"why. who has brought one home?"
"Do be careful. Mr.. Pollard. You have
smashed the varnish of from that teaty.tea'
ta. and now you are bobbing your head
against that chanticlcer. g
"I'll go to bed and see II can't get some
peace" 7ls's #a..Hai '.'''.t
Mr.. Pollard put his threat into execution.
but hiswif followed him closely T., tho stairs.
"Mind tho stair carpet, Mr. Pollard
there, I hemmed IT," she creid, as Nehemi.
ah caught his foot in the binding. stumbled,
and fell entirely to the foot OF the stairs.
breaking the hall-glass, and tearing his coat.
tail entirely Of. He picked himself up with
muttcred expression. and gained his cham
ber. The servant had already lighted the
gas, and opened the register.
"Creation! :" cried Mr.. Pollard, it's hot
ter than the tropics, How do you fix tins
darncd thing, to cool it off!
81 don't know" cried she, al will ring
for Jane"
"The deuce you will, said Mr.. Pollard,
glancing at his scant attire you go to bed.
III set the sink over tho hole, and that will
keep the heat out all right.
"Put out the gas, said his wife from the
bed.
Put out the dickens !" cried her hus'
band angrily; here I have blowed and blow
ed till am ct to burst, and the coniounded
thing only dances the faster."
Turn it off," advises Mrs. Pollard.
"Turn it, indeed! where turn tito. won
der Ha I've done IL; l'veswitched It out
with my sleeve. ...,. .... ,.,-
"wal, don't get into bed with your hands
smutty: there's hot and cold water; you
know it is such convenience.
"Jupiter Ammon! I've took the skin OF
from that hand. Why, the waters bilin'.
I'll try the cold-by POUNDS how It smarts!
and nutterins to himself, Mr.. Pollard com.
pleted bis ablution and got into bed.
Some time, In the night, Mrs. Pollard
awoko. She fel. damp and chilly. She pu.
her hand out. and felt only water.
"LOrd have mercy |" screamed she, wake
up. Miah there's food. It has 90. clear
upin the chamber, and we shall all be drown
ded to death! Git up and light, quiokm
Mr.. Pollard jumped ou. and then in again,
propelled BY vigorous kick irom his better
half. 4.'9''' 'a.i 5iai ',,i 'on .oel
"what in creation is t?' cried he, dash.
ing about in the vain attempt to end his
clothes. Ah. its just struck mel didn't
AZ that waterspout right after washed nv