The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1865-09-29
ARTEMAs WARD.
HIS VISIT TO THE SHAKERS.
What He Thinks OF their Cussoms

The Shakers Is the strangest religious sex
ever met. I'd hearn tell of 'em, and I'd
seen 'em, their broad brimd hats and long
cantack with 'em, hnd I'd sot 'em down as
lackin intelleck, as I'd never seen 'em to my
Show-leastways,i if they cum they was disgised
in white peoples close, so didn't know 'em.
But in the Spring of 18-, I got swampt in
the interior of New York State, one dark and
stormy night, when the winds Blue pityusly
and was forced to tie up with the Shakers.
was toiling through the mud, when in the
dim vister of the futer I observed the CLEAN
of q taller candle. Tiein hornet'snest to my
of hosss tail to kinder encourage him, / soon
reached the place. / knockt at the door,
which it was opened unto me by a tall sickly-
faced solum lookin individooal, who turned
out to be Elder.
"Mr. Shaker" sed l, "you see before you
Babe in the Woods, so to speak, and he axes
shelter of you"
"Yay, sed the Shaker, and he led the way
into the house, another Shaker being sent to
put my bosses and Vaughn under kiver.
A solum female, looking somewhat like q
last years bean pole stuck into long meal
bag, cum in and axed me was l athurst and
did hunger to which l urbanely answered
"a few" She went out, and I endeavored to
open a conversashun with the old man.
Elder, spect?" said I.
Yay," he sed.
"Helth's good, reckon :"
"Yay."
whats the wages of Elder when he un.
derstans his bizness: or do YOU devote your
"s HTss. ggr"tnitus'"
Stormy night, sir"
eff the storm continuers therell be u mess
underfoot, hay?"
"Yay"
Its unpleasant when there's a mess under
foot"
"Yay."
''If may be 80 bold, kind sir, what's the
price of that pecooler kind of weskit you wear,
ncloodin trimmins 2"
1pawsed mint, and then, thinkin I'd be
faseshus with him and see how that would 90,
l slapt him on the shoulder, bust into hearty
larf, and told him that as yayer he had no liv-
in ekal
He jumpt up as if Biln water had bin squirt
ed into his ears, groaned, rolled his eyes up
lords the sealin, and sed: YOU'RE a man of
SIM" He then walkt out of the room.
jest then the female in the meal bag stuck
her he'd into the room and statid that refresh
ments awaited the weary traveller, and sed if
it was the vittles she ment the weary traveller
was agreeable, and follered her into the next
room.
l sot down to the table and the female in
the meal bag pored out some tea. She sed no
thin, and Tor five nnits the only live thing in
that room was a old wooden clock, which tickt
in subdued and bashful manner in the corner
This deathly stiffness made me oneasv, and
determed TO talk to the female or bust. So
SEE |, =" Marriage is agin your rule, bleeve,
marm?"
"Yay.'
"Yav."
It's kinder singler," sez [, putin on my
most sweetest look and speakn in a winnin
voice, that so fair made as thou never got
hitched 10 some likely feller" N. B.-She
was upwards Of forty and homely as stump
fence, but thawt I'D tickil her.
"Wall, dunno" SEE l, they're rayther
important part of the populashan. / don't
scacely see how we could get along without
'em.
"Us poor wimin folks would get along
CRATE deal better if there were no men,"
You'll excuse me marin, but don't think
that air would work. 1t wouldn't be regular
I'm afraid of men !" she sed.
THAT'S unnecessary marin. You amt in no
danger. Don't fret yourself on that pint"
Here we're shot out from the sinful world.
Here all is peas. Here we are brothers and
sisters. We don't marry and consistently we
have no domestic difficulties. Husbans don't
abuse their wives-wives don't worrit their
Nothing to worrit us here. No wicked matri-
mony here. Would thow like to be Shaker p
No. sez /, sit amt my stile."
L had now histed in as big load OF per-
vishuns as could carry comfortable, and lean
ing back in my cheer, commenst pickiD my
teeth W 18th fork. The female went out leav-
in me all alone with the clock. hadn't sot
thar long before the Elder poked his he'd in at
the door. You're man Of SIM" he sed, and
groaned and went away.
D1rekly thar cum in two young Shakers, as
putty and slick lookin gals as 1 ever met. 1t
is troo they were drest in meal bags like the
old one I'd met previsly, and their shiny, silky
hair was hid from sight by long white cape,
SIGH as suppose female Josts wear; but their
like roses, and they was charmin enough to
make 3 man throw stones at his grandmother.
if they axed him to.
They commenst clearin away the dishes,
castiu sly glances at me all the time. got ex-
cited. forgot Betsy Jane in my raptur, and
sez ''my pretty dears, how air you?"
1--WE air WE'LL" they solemnly sed.
"Whar's the old man?" sed I, in soft