American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1865-01-18
wIT AND WISDOM.


WHENa person declares that his brain
is on fire, is it etiquette to blow it out
WHAT is the difference between but
terfy and matron? One is a moth and
the other is a mother.
SpINsTERs, take notice The improv-
ed sewing machines have feller" at
tached to them.
THERE are some plain Illinois farmers
who own more land than goes to make up
some German Principalities.
IT is easy enough for a sourod man to
renounce society and go into the desert
the only difficulty is to dwell there.
TELLING FALsEuocDs before getting
up in the morning is comparatively inno-
cent--because it is only lying in bed.
SOME POET says the wind kisses the
waves. That we suppose, is the celebra-
ted kiss for a blow" of which we have
heard so much.
"I TELL you what, sill" said Yankee
of his opponent, " that man don't amount
to a sum in arithmetic; add him up, and
there is nothing to carry"
THERE is an old proyerb which says
that contentment is the true philosophers
stone. Brown says it's very likely, for
nobody has ever found either one or the
other.
A FELLOW in one of the cities " Down
East recently advertised in a morning
paper fora wife, and before night eighteen
different men senthim word that he might
have theirs.
SIDNEY SMITH once remarked =" AZ
ter YOU have written an article, take your
pen and strike out half the words, and
YOU will be surprised to see how m7eh
stronger it is"
IT appears by advertisements in south
em papers that education has "riz." AT
Mount Laurel, near Richmond, two thou
sand dollars are charged for half term,
and other schools are or nearly at the same
rates.
A LADY correspondent who assumes to
know how boys ought to be trained, writes
to an exchange as follows:
40, mother hunt out the soft, tender,
genial side of yourboys nature" Moth
ers often do-with an old shoe-to the
boys benefit.
Mr.. HUNT. in his lecture on common
law remarked, "that lady, when she
married, ostpersonal identity, her diStlnc-
tive character, and was like a dew drop
swallowed by a sunbeam" Some one at
our elbow says that thunder-cloud should
be substituted for sunbeam in many in
stances.
80 you are going to keep house are
YOU ?" said an elderly maiden to blush
ing bride.
Yes" was the reply.
"Going to have a girl, suppose.
The newly made wife colored, and then
quietly responded that she "really didn't
know whether it would be girl CT boy.
A GENTLEMAN who is in the habit OF
riding up and down two or three times
daily in the horse cars of certain New
York line, and who has made point Of
always presenting a ten cent stamp Tor bis
fare and receiving four fresh minted cents
as change, was lately asked by conduc'
tor to whom his face and fnanciering had
become tolerably familiar, "What do you
do with all the pennies you get from us !?
g | sell them to the railroad company agair
at fifteen per cent premium, was the blanc
reply.
THE ATLANTIC CABLE.-The entire
length of the Atlantic telegraph will b'
2,300 miles. Every portion OF TINS cop
per wire is subjected to electrical tests, tC
astertain its quality for conductiOn before
it is allowed to be worked up. The mex
stage is to coat these wires with elghtsuc
cessiye coats of the insulating material
equal to an aggregate length of lS,40'
miles. This core is next covered VIII
lutte. wound round it from ten strands
making % 600 miles of jute yarn Ihel
comes the outer coating, formed OF the II
covered iron wires. The iron wire ltsel
is 23, 900 miles IN length, and each wlr'
is covered separately with five strands Q
tarred hemp, $4,000 miles of the latte
being required, making together an az
gregate lenth of material employed Q
125, 800 miles.