Cleveland daily leader. [volume] ([Cleveland, Ohio]) 1865-1873, 1865-10-06
NEW SYSTEM OF M M
John PhOenix's Proposition for Great
or Exaetness i'm the Comparison of
A6feeffva=L

sunni II NLAA AAOENDHAAAOA AOE OECH
or Exaetness i'm IN Comparison of
AdieetiVes.
[From the Saturday Press.
have often thought that the adjectives
of the English language were not sufi-
GENTLY definite for the purposes of descrip-
ton. They nave but three degrees of
comparison-a very insufficient number,
certainly, when we consider that they are
to be. applied to a thousand objects, which,
though of the same general class or
quality, differ from each other by a thous-
and different shades or degrees of the same
popularity. Thus, though there are
1865 days in n year, all of which must, in
the nature of things, differ from each other
in the matter of climate,-we have but
half a dozen expressions to convey to n
another our ideas of this inequality. We
say-"I 1t is a fine day." at is a uery fine
day" 1T is the finest day we hayeseen;'
or 1T is an unpleasant days" "a gery
unpleasant day y 1.-THE most unpleasant
we ever saw" But is plain that nom of
these expressions give an exact idea of the
nBture of theday and the two superlative
expressions are generally untrue.
o NV system-shalfI say my great system,
-lh GAGtfaAH8lN 0lnlFHNf ahu Nd-iAN Va
planned in a few words. In the first place
afgnTes 4roh't lie" Let us then represent
by the number 100, the maximum, the ne
plus ultra of every human quality-grace,
beauty, courage, strength, wisdom, learning
every thing. Let perfection, | say, be
represented by 100, and on absolute mini
UNI Of all qualities by the Number l. Then
by applying the numbers between to the
adiectives used in conversation, We shall
be able to arrive at a very close APPROX
nation to the idea we wish to convey: in
other words, we shall be enabled to speak
the truth.
Glorious, so~ul-inspiring idea? For in
stance the most extraordinary question
asked of You is "How do you DOR To
this instead of replying "Pretty WELL
avery well" sQuite we'll" or the like alb
Gurdities-after running through your
mind that perfection of health is 100, no
health at all, O,-you say, with a graceful
bow, aThank you, I'm 90 to-day" or feel
ing poorly, "Tm Is, I'm obliged to you"
or "fm Gs,' or "75," or "s74,' as the case
NAV bel Do you see how very closely in
this way you may approximate to the
truth; and how clearly your questioner
will understand what he so anxiously
wishes to arrive at-your exact state OF
health?
Let this system be adopted into our ele-
ments of grammar, our conversation, our
literature, and we become at once an ex-
act, precise, mathematical truth-telling
people 1t will apply to everything but
politics; there, truth being of no account
the system is useless. But in literature,
how admirablel Take an example ;
eAs a 10 young and &c beautiful lady
was 60 gaily tripping down the sidewalk
of our 81 frequented street, she acciden-
tally came in contaot-l0O(this shows
that she came in close contact) with a 70
fat, but 81 good-humored looking gentle
men. who was 80 Il. e. intently1 gazing
into the window of a toy shop. Gracefully
56 extracting herself, she received the ex-
cuses of the sc embarrassed FaistaR witha
4 6 ashland smile, and continued on her way.
But hardly-7-hsd she reached the corner OF
] the block, ere she was oVsrtaken by q "a
vonne nan, 30 poorly dressed, but of an
| "a ex1rpssion Of c-ountenance; 81 hastily
touching her 81 beautifully rounded arm,
he said, to her 81 surprise;
MADAM, at the window of the toy-shop
wonder, You dropped this bracelet, which
/ had the Il good fortune to observe, and
now have the "a happiness TO hand 10
YOU" (Of course the expression 494 hap
pinessn is merely the young man polite
hyperbole.)
haBiushing with 76 modesty, the lovely
If6, as before, of c%onrse), lady took the
bracelet-which was a "a magnificent
diamond clasp-24 magnificent, playful ly
sarcastic; (it was probably not Of
Tucker'sl from the young mans hand
and "a hesitatingly drew from her beauti-
fully SO embroidered reticule a 81 porte
monnaie. The young man noticed the
action, and 70 proudly drawing back
added:
ado not thank me; the pleasure. Of gaZ'
ing for an instant at those 100 eyes (per-
haps too exaggerated a compliment(, has
already more than compensated me for
trouble that l might have had.
eShe thanked him, however, and with O
81 deep blush and a 4s pensiye air, turned
from him, and pursued with q 80 SLOW
step her promenade