Litchfield enquirer., 1865-07-20
Mlisfella,,p.
NOW SMILE.

= The ladies say they are opposed to stop ping the males on the Sabbath, especially in the evening, unless they are stopped in the right place.
 -Slr Isaac Newton's nephew was 2 clergyman. When. ha had narfnrmad the narria0n aAuas,ss4 . ny for couple, he always ref1sed the fee, say ing, Go your ways, poor wretches. l have dope you mischief enough already
 v Paddys description of a fiddle cannot be beat '' It was the shape of turkey and the size of a goose he turned it over on it's belly and rubbed it's back bone with stick. and och. by St. Patrick, how it did squale.'
 -Grandmamma-'We Well, Charley, what have you been learning today?' Charley Pneu, matics, gran'ma. and I can tell you such dodge If I was to put you under glass re- ceiver, and exhaust the air, all your wrinkles, would come out as smooth as grandpapa's head ! Il superintendent of mission school, be- ing annoyed by the noise finally, in appealing to the boys, raising his hand, said--Now let's see if we can't hear a pin drop. All was si- lence when little fellow in the back part of the room cooking his ear and placing himself in attitude of breathless attention, spoke out Let her drop. ....
 = One of the Wisconsin boys, at the recep ton on Thursday night of the fifth regiment ol that State, said This is the first square mea I've had since I left home Being asked what square meal was, he replied Four cups o coffee, all the ham can eat, with bread, butte pies, cakes pickles and cheese in proportion with ladies smiling to inspire the appetite.
 "A man with an enormously large mouth called on dentist to get tooth drawn. Af ter the dentist had prepared his instrument and was about to commence operations, tht | man began to strain and stretch his mouth til lit got to frightful width. Stay. sr.' said thu dentist, don't trouble yourself to open you mouth any wider, for I intend to stand outside |of it to draw your tooth s atu a. nod
 i-The coquettish Mrs. L--has just return led from pleasure trip to Washington. Sh only took with her forty-two dresses, twent,
 shawls, nineteen bonnets, and two hundre
 pairs ot gloves. Surely said friend, wh
 Happened to be present when she was unpack
 ling. you did not take all that with you.' . s Emerely took what was indispensable my deal
 h left behind me all that was cumbersome. Al
 yes, understand Jane-your husband.' s -l MODEL SHEEcH.--In the summer of ls6 d while Gen. Ashboth was in command at c ' llumbus, Ky, some of his friends presented hi z IlIwith horse. The brave Hungarian was big { ly elated, and replied to the presentation spec
 as follows .. ~
 .4l Fell' Solshirs and Shen.lemans I tan 3f you for dis boss. De boss, shentlennans, is < noblest animal of mankindl Again, I says
 tank you tor dis fine hoss!".
 -I THE DESIRABLE PEw.-A pew in a ct
 gregational meeting house is thus advertis for sale in the Amherst (Mass.) Express: "A pew in the meeting house of the first p
 ish in Amherst. The man that owns the p
 owns the right of space just as long as .9 new pew is, from the bottom of the meeting -hor
 to the top or roof, and he can go as much hi CT err as he can get. If a man will. buy my ? a and sit in it on Sundays, and repent and b z good man, he will go to heaven, and my P Y lis as good place to start from as any pew
 the westinghouse.