Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1865-04-12

complaisant with an increase OF fW0rshlp
s' pets.' 500 -5.' zi 7s 7a'7'.s4' 60 '.' 7
As, Women takes to Hattery, my son, a
lie naturally as men do to their morning
er eye-opener, It is the sugar of their eE
rs istence, But woe to the unlucky Eigh
who does not understand the art of ad
ministering it. 1t has to be given witt
a' care It must be prepared and putuP il
5sa doses to suit the patient, like medicine
Some women will take fattery and adula
ton os the glutton swallows cream tarts
- and are unhappy and miserable if they
s lose their daily dose. Others takeitwel
Do disguised. The plain and unadorned ar
ID ticle makes them quafmish. Others
- again, pretend to abhor compliment in al
" its forms, and yet they are only fishing
for larger share than Of right belongs
to them At, the. first i. nibble they toss
their pretty heads and curl theiFinviting
lip, nd8reready for whOlesalerbite.-
When a woman tells you she detests fat
terry, my boy, don't believe her. The
arts of woman is ike a fort. There
is a sally port somewhere, by which all
its loves desires, fears and hates come
out, either singIy Or in full battalion
Through that sally port, my boy, you
can enter and capture the entire garrison,
haul down the flag of defiance and run
up your own good ensign of victory
But you must first, like doctor exam
ining blooded horse, find her weak and
stong points, study her every motion,
mark her every word, and never allow a
glance to escape you. There never yet
lived a woman who could not be con
Iquered. L say this advisedly. Woman
was born to be married. To her, even in
her younger years. the coming man tow
ers in the dim future like The vision of a
colossus looming up through the misty
atmosphere Of a dream. Her destiny is
man, and without him she does not full
- FL her mission on the footstool
There never yetii7ed one Of these rusty
nondescripts, yclept old maids, who did
r not at some period of their unhappy e1-
istenee have hankering after aman, and
that that particular man did not conquer
her, and save the void the infiction Of
an old maid, and gain for himself good
Tor bad wife, as the case might be-was
his own fault. He, perhaps, was after
some pet fancy of a school girl, and she
not admiring him, married somebody
else, and so made. him a bachelor.
think were an old maid, and had
been fcrossed in love- Iwould, out Of
81 sheer spite9 m5rry- the first man I could
l. get a hold of. would have satisfaction
if I had to marry forty men to getit.-
: Old maids are like some politicians
a.. know of. They runtheir eareerupon the
one idea system. They have but one
y ! idea, and that is their first love. That
4 failing, they are ever after out at sea,
! Efoundering about always wrong side up,
! i.and go down to oblivion; leaving no yes
y tige behind in short clothes or long
Q stockings, to commemorate their exist
ence. e
1t I especially recommend you, my boy
It 1=avoid-yuungal ladies who; -wien-on- prom
e enade are addicted to that style of loco
: motion which is not in appropriately de-
It nominated wriggling. The woman who
wriggles when she walks, reminds me of
o one of.-these little yellow, crop,eared
] poodlesathat dance and twist and squirm
U about whenever you look at them.T The
c woman who walks in this fashion is gem
S orally gifted witha very small quantity
t Of. brains, is devoid of common sense,
v full Of vanity and self-conceit, fiery in
disposition, tickle, and for all the ordina-
t ry purposes of, matrimony3 is as useless
! as refrigerator is for hotel in Siberia
n Her whole life is simply an elongated
t wriggle of wasted hours, lost Opportuni-
t ties, and disappointed hopes.
T. On the contrary, my son, do not choose
5 the1woraanl who walks. as though she
= were-a grenadier in disguise, marching
}, withssQlemnr tread toward her appointed
:, one. That woman, we're you to marry
+ her, would march through your whole
! ftharTrfied existence, 7trampihg zuadeF foot
a your every delight, crushing your author:
: ity, until atlast tleseseyes5 din. with age
4 would fearfuIly behold you oringing to a
e petticoat and trOtting along behind your
mistress with your ears laid meekly back,
and looking ten times more pitiful than
a whipped cur.
| These walking women in youth are
proud, imperious; wilfulj in middle age
! the same, with. the addition Of a tow
f colored moustache and. neuralgia in the
head, and in their old age SO awfully
spiteful that even that best friend Of dis.
t consulate womanhood-the cat--shrinks
away from her presence.
All, my son, ifyouWisbtO display your,
i4good taste in. the cultivation of female
society, avoid tall women of the un-
bRrdsd tSlegraph-pOle order of anatomy