Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1865-11-30
=
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

$50. The Fighkill Standard says school
master in that town ''struck lie" the other
day, but il was only juvenile.
......Josh Billings says that opera music
don't nave no more effect upon. him than
Croton oil upon craven image.
I'VE are against well-executed coun-
terfeits, but for Well-executed counterfeit
/ ers.
$3.50 There are two directly opposite rea-
/ sons why man cannot sometimes get cred
| it; one is because he is l. a known; the
other isybecause he is.
.....At thirty we are trying TO cut our
name in big letters upon the walls Of this
tenement Of life; twenty years later we have
carved it, or shut up our knife.
......A coward may fight; coward may
/ conquer but coward can never forgive.
......" I was never ruined but twice, - said
| a wit 'onoe when [ lost lawsuit, and when
gasnedone
Who was the first little boy mention
en- in the Bible! Chap. l.
......If brooks are as poets call them, the
most joyous things in nature, what are they
always murmuring about?
| alty-AlauuerS dic!a Sbiu niES. TART
ington, as her eyes fell on an advertisement.
/ ''Do tell me, Isaac, who this Sally Mandsr
| is and what she's been dom that they've
| got her safe"
II don't know what she's been o doing"
said Ike; '.but guess she is sister to
jerry"
'sJerry who, Isaac?"
'.Why, Jerry Mander,", said Ike, as he
resumed his work by the window catching
flies.
Fanny Fern objects to men shedding
/ tears: she says it Is an Infringement on
woman's most valuable ''water privileges.
Miss Lovely says that males are of no
account from the time ladies stop kissing
them as infants, till they kiss them again as
lovers.
/ ......A writer On swearing says: 'sAn oath
from 8 woman's lips is unnatural and in
credible. l would as soon expect g bullet
| from rosebud
......A physician once advised Sydney
Smith to take walk upon an empty stom-
! ach.
| "Whose stomach ~ he asked. M -
/ ......A preacher whose text led him to
speak of the prophet Jonah, among other
/
was an old man, neither smoking or chewing,
from the fact that the fish retained him so
long in his stomach. If the fish had swal-
| lowed the house we are worshiping in, he
would no doubt have yomited himself to
| DEATH"
49,, The Irish Fenians have committed
| a gross absurdity in their illegal drilling.
The Fenian g circles have been endeavor-
/ Ia "a Z n, in4o
......A negro who had learned to read,
wishing to give an idea of it to some of his
acquaintance who had never seen a book,
said, Reading is the power of hearing
with the eyes instead Of the ears.
.....o How is it," said man to his neigh
Dor, that our parson, the LATEST man liv-
ing, whites these interminable sermons %
'Why," said the other, probably, after he
begins writing, he is too lazy to stop"
5000" What fine head your boy has !"
said an admiring friend, eyes, said the
fond father, ''he's chip of the old block
amt you my boy ?" Yes, father" re-
piled the boy !; g teacher said yesterday
was young blockhead."
..A chemist was called up at two o'clock
the other morning by the ringing of tho
night-bell, On opening the door he found
damsel, who told him that she was going
to picnic that morning and was out of,
rouge. The impudent druggist turned her
off with the assurance that he hadn't in
stock as much as would cover cheek like
hers.
...... Brother G., in times of revivals and
protracted meetings, always stepped in and
took charge of the singing. He was very
fond of hat interminable song that began
with, "Where, O where, is good old ADAM"
and might end with the last man. lHeahad
passed through the patriarohs and prophets
of the olden time, and the disciples and
blessed women OF tho New Testament. when
J ohm the Baptist occurred to him. "Where,
0 where, is John the Baptist? Safe in the
promised land. He went up''-Here broth
er G.. stumbled. He tried it again. " He
went up'-but still there was a difficulty
in fixing the mode of ascension. At length,
with desperate energy, he put it through.
''He went up without any head on, safe in
the promised land"