The Iowa transcript. (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1858-1866, 1865-10-11

11aa.AGi.<lO.re. ssars~
! A. NJ. Griswold Esq, the spicy and hu
morons lecturer, is out with racy and novel
circular for his entertainments, in which he
thus discourses relative to the Noble Red
Man and American Antiquities
The Noble Red Man Is the theme of my
lecture, to which the attention Of all "weil
| read men" il invited,
His courage and fierceness in max ing
war
And his singular Immunity in making
baskets.
His successful manner in treating bald
ness by removing the scalp.
The healthful AMI invigorating pastime
Of running the gauntlet
And the facetiOus recreation called ..bur-
ming at the stake
Otherwise known as s.Injun on Toast
No lnjun-meal i. complete without IL.
The lecturer prefers to have his .sstake''
done as rare as possible.
Some comparison will he drawn between
the time when the red man wore the white
mans scalp at his belt and the present period
when the white man "belts" i'm over the
scalp.
Affecting extract from the speech Of the
celebrated Indian Chief, a.IIun ki-do-ri -
Hun KIDD ri is in despair. He is like the
blasted oakland he has not got blasted
cent !"
The imagination Of the listener is permit
ted to roam among the Indian Mounds and
American Antiquities generally, without
extra charge. One ticket admits to the lee.
ture and to the mounds. For sale at the
bookstores and at the door.
OH IN HARRIsBrRG-A RIcH SELL.-The
Patriot and Union says that last week two
very ingenious Yankees visited that city
with . newly-invented pump which could be
driven into the ground depth Of fifty feet
or more, and bring water to the surface
without the necessity of digging a well.
One Of these they erected At the foot Of
willy old joker, John Hsusse, thought the
opportunity good one for huge ..sell.'
and as the pump was placed in rugged sort
Of an unfenced lot, he poured gallon or
so Of coal oil down the pump and then call
ed his neighbors to witness the /" show of
OIL" In less than half an hour the excite
ment became intense. Speculations were
on foot without number. Hausse would
pump and up would come the oil. Several
Walls of it were distributed, and one fellow,
In his excited eagerness for gain. PROPOSED
stock company At once. bottle contain
ing a sample Of the oil was taken to lead
ing druggist on Market street, who became
very much excited. and in his hot haste he
offered to buy the land for ten times its val
ne. The news spread, and a large crowd
was soon upon the ground Hausse pumped
ev0y few moments, and up came real petro-
Tenn, which was examined with much Curl
osity by the bystaAders. when the excite
ment was At its highest pitch Hansss cruelty
informed the lockers ON of the joke, and with
fallen countenances they left the ground.
all acknowledging that they were badly
"sold,' none, however, uttering one word
against Hausse, who 80 craftily deceived
them.
Mn. HUpsoN GuRNHY's Doc. One morn
ing, says . correspondent OF the Norwich
Argus, sitting with the deceased gentleman
on business, | heard a pattering Of feet be-
hind, and the door silently opened turned
to see who was listening to us, asd the New
foundland dog quietly entered the room,
and standing in the centre, looked coldly on
me, and on his master kindly.
This" said Mr.. Quincy. sis one Of my
most faithful friends; he has come to pay
me his usual morning visit" Turning to
the dog, he continued: Il am . little better
/ to-day, but not much; ono morning you
! will miss me- shall be dead
| The dog, as though endowed with human
instinct. gave low moan, and advancing to
his master, placed his huge paw, with gen
tleness that would hardly have crushed fly.
on Mr.. Gurneys knee; that done, he raised
| himself on his hind legs, and placing the
other on Mr.. Quincy shoulder. and licking
his face seemed to pat him on his back with
4 mr. of oh,
said
"Come, come, don't be down hearted; you
are very bad, but you'll get better by-and-
by"
Mr.. Quincy perfectly understood him,
since he replied
Its no use tell you shall die
The dog moaned again.
And now, continued the owner of kes-
wick, "you must go, for am busy with this
gentleman
The dog looked at his master, then at me,
and silently quilted the room. mouth or
SO after, MIR. Quincy was corpse.
SHARP REToRT-Two lawyers in coun-
] try conrt-one of whom had gray hair, and
the other, although just as old a man as his
learned friend. had hair which looked sus-
piciously BACKED - had some alteration
about a question ofpractice. when the gentle
man with dark hair remarked TO his oppo-
nent:
a person at your time Of life, SIR look
ing at the barrister's gray head fought 10
have long enough experience to know what
is customary is such cases.
''Yes sir, was the reply; "you may stare
at my gray hair if you like. Ny hair will
be gray AS long As live, and yours will black
rs long as you dye"
Stntely COnunllrmms.
Why are the young ladies of Missouri
sweet Because they are No lasses