The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1865-08-12
VARIETY.

It il said that first resor'ed to tight lacng
TO SHOW mankind how well they could bear squeezing
An honest man is the noblest work of God but
L woman is the prettlest
The happy parent of a new born baby asked Quilp,
70 whom he exhibiting it, if ne had any children
Mary red - was the brutal response
Bachelors are no, entirely lost TO the refinement Of
sentiment. for the following toast was given by one
Of them public dinner Ihe ladies' sweet
briars in the garden OF life.
Josb Billings says THAT if q man is going TO
make business Of serving the Lord he likes TO see
him do it when he measures out onions as well as
when be boilers glory halleluyer-
A lady wished q seat in a crowded hall. hand
Eorre gentleman brought her chair - ou are
level" said she - Oh, no, | am je@sller. l have
JUST set the jewel
Rich meu have usually more need 10 De taught
soutentment than the poor. because all mems expeo-
taliors Grow faster than their fortunes
French oauer relates that when Rothschild was
asked whether he would not like TO become temporal
King Of the Jews IN Palestine. he said !" U, 10,
would rather be Jew OF the Kings than King OF TIE
Jews"
I. is said tha, in some parts of Germany the wo-
men do sll the work; a there must make hls
living by the sweat of his troW
Connecticut maiiens do the courting up slick.
nice Young girl near Hartford was applied TO by
months widower to come and take cnnrse OF
his aix Inorherless children. She said " Yes, SIR
as your wife; not otherwise" She went
IL shall be-" and ~ might have been - The
former the music OF youth. b"Scb h' ''S
sIver bells; latter the Paint Of age the dirge OF
hope, the inscription for tomb
John Bull. conversng with an Indian. asked
him If he knew the sun never sets on the queen
d,uipjons Mo- said the Indian. - Do you know
the reason why," asked John " Because God IL
afraid 10 trust Englishman in the dark was the
dusSy savaze's reply
A. n Sabbath school meeting in New Hampshire
The history of Samson the subject OF examination
what foolish thing did Samson do ~ was one oi
tbs questions put. 4 little replied - tie went
down among the Philistiues and got "iie Inc Inc
Bamsonian weakness vas thus ex1osed 10 lne AHl"Se
meut Q! many
T, .bsks of ,rouble YOU must set about doing good
20 somebody; put on your hat, and go and visit the
poor; inquire into their wants and administer
:ben: seek out the desolate and oppressed. and tel
them Of the consolation Of religion. nave lounu
this the best medicine for q heavy heart-ffo'oa'@
Jo.R BILI1SGs on MARRIAGE.-You ask me which
II the mos, best, the married or single condshun
Sirst everybody, ut some time IN their me- haL ''u
the single state; also. most everybody has nan
afsr srhe ,iou bic state or marrid condshun nave
tried both states. and am ready te" s"are' 'na' Il
man kan git a woman who kan fri psnsakes on oott
aides without burning them, and don't hanker 70 On
= ,,o.,,r,s komrnirty the msrrid stste Is never
and arth avl to onst. But after swi, the marr'o
state il q good deal like falling out OF a cnerry tree
II = person don't happen te~ GIT hur'' II ID s
rsson for not trieing It aSin.
The finest idea Of thunder storm extant wa
when Virgins came home tight Now "igs'ns = Is
teacher and had drank too much lemonaae' OF sOnle
thing He came into the room among MS "'le Au y,
daughters. and just then he tumoIed over 'ne q @ %
and fell uhop OF the Hoor. After awhile hs TOE
snd said
Wife, are you hurt'''
No
Girls are you hurt'"
No
Terrible clap. wasn't r!
WaAr OUR PARLoRs SHOULD HE-pont keep
solemn parlor. into which yon get into out onIe
month, with your paTson or sewing sociey' nr i
arnuud your walls with pictures which teti sIor'es @
rnercy. hope. courage. faith and charity Make So'
!:vina-room ;he largest and most cheerful IN y
house Let the place be such that when your ooS
gone 10 distant lands, even when, perhaps.
cIinos m . single plank IN the lone waters OF u
vide ocean. the thought Of the still HOMESTEAD ID
come across the desolatiOn. bringing always hsn
hope and love. Have no dungeons aoont your r5 nou
no room YOU never opeu no blinds that are aITa
shut.