The Howard union. (Glasgow, Mo.) 1865-1866, 1865-10-05
A YANKEE TRICK.

Some years ago, before railroads were
invented, cute Massachusetts Yankee was
one day travelling in stage in the State Of
Connecticut. The passengers stopped for
breakfast at place where the landlord was
uoted for his parsimony, and it was strong
ly suspected that he paid the driver TO
hurry of the stage before the passengers
could eat half meal, in order to save the
victuals. The Yankee heard this talk, and
he sat down TO breakfast with the determi-
nation to eat his moneys worth whether
the stage left him or not. While, therefore,
the rest Of the passengers were boiling
their victuals at the greatest possible haste.
the Massachusetts, man took his time.
The passengers had scarcely finished cup
Of coffee, and ate two or three moulhfuls,
when they heard the sound of the horn, and
the. driver exclalm, "Stage ready" Up
rise the grumbling passengers, pay their
fifty cents, and take their seat.
sAn aboard, gents ?" inquiries the host.
zone missing" said they.
Proceeding to the dining room, the host
finds our Yankee friend very cody helping
himself TO an immense piece of steak, the
size of a horses hip.
you'll be left sir! Stage is going to
start ?"
WAL, hain't gothing to say agin it."
Cant wait sir; better take your seat"
am be gael darned eff I dew, nuther,
till I've got my breakfast! I've got few
pay my half dolalr, and I'm goin' to get
the vallee ont; and ef you calculate amt
you air mistaken"
So the stage did start, and left the hun
cry New Highlander, who continued his
attack of the eatibles. Biscuits, coffee
steaks, etc., disappeared rapidly before the
eyes of the astonished landlord.
"Say, squire, them there cakes is bout
east; fetch us anuher grist on EN-. You
tothe waiter, } nuther cup Nv that ar coffee
Pass them eggs. Raise yewre own pork
squire?-,his is amazin' nice ham. Lane
bout here ,olerable cheap, squire, l caklatei
Don't lay yewere own eggs do you ?" ant
thus the Yankee kept quizz:ng the landlord
until he had made hearty meal.
"Say, squire now I'm about to conclude
payin' my dewours 10 this table. but il
you'd jist give me bowl of bread apt
milk teH sOrter top off with, I'd be much
Obleegeed tew ye."
So out goes the lanlord and waiter for
the bowl, milk and bread, and set them be.
fore the Yankee.
"Spoon, tew, if you please ?"
But no spoon could be found Landlord
was sure that he had plenty of silver cnes
lying on the table when the stage stopped
"Say ! dew you think them passengers
is gon' to pay you for a brakhfst and not
git no compensatiOn!'
"Ah what !! do you think any of the
passengers took them ~
Dew l think ! No, don't think; but
I'm sartin. If they are all as green as you
about here, I'm goin' to locate immediately
and tew onst."
The landlord rushes out 10 the stable and
Starts man off after the stage, which had
gone about three miles. The man over.
takes the stage, and says something to the
driver in low tone. He Immediately
turns back, and on arriving at the hotel our
Yankee comes out TO take his seat, and says:
How air yew. gents ? I'm glad to see
yew back"
Scan you point out the man you think
has the spoons ?" asked the landlord.
"Pint him out Sartinly,I ken. Say
squire, l raid you four ninpenoes for a
breakfast, and cakulate got the vale
ont. You'll find them spoons in the coffee
pot" Which was found 10 be the case.