North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1865-02-01


with the barre. 90
"Tll-Pll take that, an am that, ye
dirthy divil ~ cried the highly excited and
almost breathless kitchen maid, continuing
to galopade the fa,ed barrel all around the
yard.
"Whirra, whra. now, Miss Mahoney, me
darlint ~ excaims the cousin. What the
deuce are yees at? Be done wild yecs kick
m the barrel. Doesn't yees see the mistress
and meself?"
'Och !" cried Bridget, all of sudden, re,
alizing the ridiculous position she occupied.
sob J" and she boted for the culinary der
partment in extensive haste.
snow, by George!" says Magufin, jump
ing up from his easy chair, and dashing his
cigar into the grato, snow, Sue, I'll go and
fix up the grape vine. Bridget, where is the
barrel ?'
"Ha, ha !" calculates Mrs, Magufin. Fred
you should have seen Bridget in battle roy
al this morning, with that barrel. She has
either broken the barrel or her feet into
| flinders"
"She must have been well put to work
| faith" says Mac. "Bridget," he continued,
descending to the front yard, "bring out that
barrel come, be spry."
"Indade. sir," says Bridget, "an,-an'-
bad cess to it-if's my very fut I've kilt Wild
1t eff you place, I'd rather not touch it,"
"Weli, never mind, go bring it out, and
| get me The hammer and nails in the wood
| house"
Away goes Budget, muttering all manner
of MeIesian anatbemas against the fatal bar
rel, and which, after awhile, she brings forth
with the hammer and nails.
"TherP, sir. bad luck to 'em! that's the
diVifs own, it is y and down she dumps the
the barrel, over il goes, and aunihilatng two
flower pots, and extermnating bulb bro't
from Mexico by the military brother of Ma
guffin, and valued beyond jewels by his wife
"Oh, the devil p cries Mac. "What in
blazes are you at, you internal bogtrotter2
Don't you see 2"
"Whirra, whirra - groans Bridget "now
look now. what are yees at? Stand up,
stand up!''
But the barrel wouldn't stand.
30 o-o!" roars Mac, diet it alone. See
what you've done now--upset another pot,
and broke that whole vine off at the root.
Clear Yourself, or I'll brain you"
Maguffin in his wrath leveled the hammer
at Bridget, who took TO her heels just as
Mrs. Mac made her appearance, and began
wall over her murdered flowers. 1t was too
bad, and worse to contemplate, so MAJ. gave
his wife the hammer and nails, while he seiz-
ed the i'll stared or mischief making barrel,
and planting the headess end down iato the
grass pot beneath the arbor, began to ascend.
erred, Fred ~ cries Mrs. Mac, "don't
don't the nasty barrel will fall over.''
"Hold your tongue, sue just steady the
barrel"
''Tbe head won't hold you, Fred, will it
| A."
But, alas for his confidence! no sooner
had he placed one foot furiously upon the
head, and was about to throw up the other,
than in went the treachercus platform, down
went the right foot and leg, over went the
barrel, and Mrs. Mac, with yell, also
Poor Maeufin was slightly killed his leg
lacerated, and his pants torn, by the aid of
twotreacherous nails while Mrs. Mac was
more or less stunned and wounded into in
sensibility. Bridget run to the rescue, Mrs
Mac screamed. Mac raved and swore equal
to the great army in Flanders. Bridget
helped her mistress into the house Mac,
seemingly inspired by the state of his cassi
meres and buff, jumps up, seizes the barrel,
and giving it one surging toss over the fence,
he hurled the infatuated thing Of hoops and
slaves into the street. / rolled and ricoch-
eted, TO the terror of pair of horses attach
ed to a farmers wagon, they, possibly believ
ing that the Inauguration day of all creation
had arrived, broke loose and dashed down
the street, running over the same old barrel,
by means of which the wagon was overturn-
ed, the varied contents of the waeon-sundry
jugs. bundles. parcels, and little boy, were
split all over the street and sidewalk within
forty rods compass. The barrel went whlr>
ling down the first open cellar way, which
happened to be the atalier of a tn-smlth
he was engaged with soldering lion and
molten pewter over charcoal furnace, and
the noise and confusion of dIngy, lumber
some body, like that of the internal barrel,
coming at him, not only alarmed the timer,
but striking the workbench and upseitng
the fire and molten pewter, sealded the poor
ARTISAN and his apprentice, and set the shop
| on fire.
"Oh lor gorry !" roars the the hoss, as he
Jumps around. tScalded to death %
Fire" bawls the apprentice, travelling sud.
| denly up the stairs to the street. Sire
Murder! Waftrm
sFire-fre !" roars the boss, pitching up
stairs. followed by a cloud of smoke, his