The day book. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 1857-1867, 1865-09-08
HUMOROUS.

Mr.. Warner, and propounded the usual inter-
rogatory- - s.2tl 'tH3 @5
"Is this the place where they keep clam
soup?"
ia YES sir, said Mr. Warner how much will
you have?" 1g- luI
"Well," replied the customer, Il guess I'll
take three cents worth"
E'Three cents worth p exclaimed the aston
ished host; "why, narrative, where are YOU
going to put three cents WORTH You GER
tainly won't pretend to eat that quantity at
one time" h.
"How do you sell it," asked the astonished
countryman
"One cent a gallon"
swell, I'll try gallon" said the country
man, as he lelsurely took seat in one of the
boxes.
3if1 Mr.. Warner, who felt in the humor for a
joke, measured out gallon of clam soup, and
had it carried to the customer. He COM
menced devourlng it, and after several tempo
rary suspensions in order to wipe away the
perspiration and breathe freer, he at length
found the bottom of his soup dish. W.
Mr.. W. inquired of the customer whether
he didn't want more He replied negatively.
and, on pay ing his nickel, inquired of Mr.,
Warner:
"How in the world do you manage to make
soup 50 cheap si 81
"Why,p said Mr.. Warner, sin the spring
we buy about q hundred clams-put them
into hogshead OF water land by occasionally
I throwing IN a few crackers, and sufficient
pepper and salt, IN few weeks have the
! soup ready for use, and keep it the whole year
round 81, a. sQl.a]
d sssaWell, now, amt thatofust rate What. do
you ask for the receipt n rtgssp ia
.For county right ask 500; 500 for
township, and So for a family right" y
y Il 'Thatll just suit us, for we don't get CLANS
whar | live, more than once year The next
time ! come down, guess III buy family
right. I'm desperately fond of clam soup my
j SELF, 4T0 anF ao4
a few years since Tom Marshall was de-
lfvering an address before large audience in
j Buffalo, when some one in the hall every few
moments shouted Louder louderl" Tom
stood this for awhile, but at last, turning
gravely to the presiding officer, he said sMr.
Chairman, at the last day, when the angel
shall with his golden trumpet proclaim that
time shall be no more, l doubt not. sir, that
there will be in that vast crowd, as now. some
drunken fool from Buffalo, shouting " Louder /
& louder |" The house roared, Tom went on with
his speech, but there was no more cries Of
:" louder |" -' -
So WHAT THE TIDE DoEs-A gentleman
walking along the docks had his attention. di-i
rected to the floating church, "Ahl very
unstable principles here-a change twice in
every twenty-four hours !" he exclaimed Lis
tener couldn't see it, and asked how that could
be; and was answered Don't you see it's
High Church Or Low Church according to the
state Of the tide ?" II
CLEVER EvAs1oN.-The late Reverand Dam
lei Isaac was both great wag and great
smoker "Ah, there you are" cried lady,
who surprised him one day enjoying his pipe,
"at your idol again" Yes, my dear madam"
replied he, coolly ); 81 hope you do not find
fault with me- for l ought to be commended,
as you see Tho burning at i'
INN SIeN,-The following is a copy of a
poetical invitation on a sign of The Beehive,
an old inn at Abingdon, kept by William
Honey se.
"Within this Hive we're all alive, 10
Good liquor makes us funny:
HyoU are dry step in and try 81
The favor of our Honey
81 Noes and Queries,
ID NOVEL PLEAsuRE.-The editor of a
French paper, in speaking Of the dedication of
new cemetary near Lyons, says that I'M.
Gascolgne had the pleasure of being the first
individual who was buried in this delightful
retreat }aa "a.
4aoa 1t is said of an officer of the Government
: by one Of his organs, that 'men can't use him
for their selfish purposes Perhaps he is too
much devoted to his own selfish purposes to
be able to attend to other peoples y. y.
Betty Wimbledon, in the Rural New
Yorker, gives directions about making milk
toast "Let it scald, and if butter is not more
than fifteen cents pound, spread the slices
with it, "If'-l
A man with dozen children, each wear
ing out a pair of shoes per week, is apt to
think that his domieile is a leather-wear-
house "a aeiEa.ss.
.yoa. Winchester, (Va.) was an exceedingly taken
place during the war. 1t was occupied by
the Union and Confederate forces, successfully,
seventy-six times
A Cairo paper says that at the hanging Of
two negroes in that city, everything passed off
most pleasantly" "a.
The armies on both sides in the war gave
good deal of time to- stock raising. They
mostly raised gun-stocks. ssa MI
The revenues of Cuba for the fiscal wear
were S2e, o2I, $685.. s2. :ssss&