Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1865-11-30
NO. l5.
Josh Billings on Courting.

Courting iz a luxury, it IL Use water, 1t iz the
pla spell of the sole. The man who has never
courttd has lived IN vain; he has been blind
han amung landscapes, he has been def man
in the land of hand organs, and by the side NV
murmuring canals. Courting is like two lit
tie springs nv water that start out from under
rock at The hjot uv mountain, and runs
down hill side by side, singing, dancing and
spattering each other, ctldying aud frothing
and kaskading. now hiding under the bank,
now full NV shaddcr, till bycmby they jine and
then they go slow. / am in favor NV long
eourting. it gives the parties chance to find
out each others trump cards It's good exer-
else, and is iist as innocent as mcrino lambs.
Courtin slike Strawberries and dcrcam--wants
to he did slow ahd then YOU git the flavor l
have seen foxes cit acquainted, fall in luv, GIT
married, settle down and cit 2work in 2 weeks
from date. This il just the wa sum foxes larn
iradcA-akounts for the crate number Of al
mighty mean mechanicks and the poor jobs
they turn out.
Perhaps it is best | should state sum good
advice 2 yung men who air about court with
VII to matrimony as it was.
In the LIST place, yung men, yu want tu git
yurc system awl right, then find yung wo-
man who IL willing to be courtcd on the square.
The next thing is to find out how old she is;
which can do BIZ askin her and she will tell
YOU she is 10 years old; and this you will find
wont be fur out Nv the wa.
The next thing is to begin moderate; 81 onco
every mite in the week for the fist six months,
increase the dose as the pashcnt seems tew re-
quire.
1t is fust rate wa tn court the girls mother
little on the start for there is / thing wo-
man never despiscs, and that is little good
courtin, if it is done on the square.
After the fust year yu will git acquainted,
and will begin tn like the bizness.
There is thing always advise, that is not
to swop fortygrafls uftcner than onst in every
1C daze, unless yu forgt how the gal looks.
(Ockasohly you want tu look sorry aud
draw in yure wind as though yu had pain;
this will set the girl til teezing yu tn find out
what ails yu.)
Evenin meetins nre good thing tn tend
1t will keep yure religion in tune, and if yure
gal happens to be there, bi accident she can
ask WI tu go home with her.
Az general thing woodn't brag on othor
girls murh when wuz courtin. 1t mite look
as though yu knu much.
If you court weeks in this wa, all the timc
on the square, if yu don't say it is the slcekest
time of yurt life, VII kan go to the "Young
America" cheap store and git measured for
plug lat at my expense and pay for it your
self.
Don't court for munny nor buty, nor rela-
shuns those things are just about as the kero-
scne lie refining biisiness-liablet tog gctout of re-
pair and bust at any mint. Court a gal for
fun. for the luv yu bear her for the virtue and
Dizziness there Is lin her court her for wife
or for a mother; court her as yu would court
a farm for the sile, and the protection Nv tho
titles court her as though she want fule and
VII another. Court her in the kitchen, over tho
wash tub, and at the pianner; court her this
wa, yng man, and if yu don't git IA wife, tho
falt Won't be in the courtin.
Yung man, Sd can rely on Josiar Billings,
and if WI can't make these rules wurk, jist sapd
for him, and he will show yu how the thing is
did-it shan't cost yu a cent.