The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1865-06-05

heart at times for the smallest crumbs OF.
intelligence, that I waited upon them
myself, and bore with their whims-often
with their impertinence-to CLEAN them.
For a time after I left my home l
ceased TO pray; even such prayers as the
reverence of childhood and the blind In
| stipcts of motherhood and wifehood had
taught me. knew no ether petitions.
| But these ceased. Icould not turn that
way for comfort. The creed of forgive
ness repealed me when my outraged love
and confidence rose up; and wnen 1
yearned to commend my children to Gods
keeping, a murmur Of conscience tnat
| would have ended in reproach had L
listened, drove me from my knees. Inc
| void il heaven and earth, the aching 81
lence, ate into my life, and drove me al
ter a time to the aid of outward devo-
ton. hung a %crucifiX about my neck;
I tasted until my limbs trembled under
me; kept painful vigils and observed
wearisome penances, seeking for rest that
never came-for a peace that ever mock
ed me.
/ rose from my knees one morning In
| the little church which Ifrequented-the
only one kept open for daily service. The
| dim light, the stiffness, the chanted
psalms of penitence, filled my soul with
a vague r%eyerent;ale emotion that soothed,
| if it did not relieve the aching heart. l
| lad remained crouching down in my pew
long after the peaceful benediction had
| dispersed the congregation. The future,
of late, had begun to appal me sucha
| trackless, shoreless waste, now that my
| bodily necessities were all assured; and l
| had tried to pray for some duty to be given
ME in which I might find rest. When
| stood up a bridal party was just entering
| the chancel, and I could not retreat
| without forcing myself upon them so |
| stood still, and looked and listened.
Poor victim !" I said, as I saw the
light figure enveloped in the lace of the
flowing veil poor victim! crowned
| with flowers. What cares, what thral-
dom, what heartaches you are pledging
| yourself to bear"
Yet when her sweet, tremulous voice
| took up the vow, I was compelled to lis
ten-"Till death do us part" And what
before death signed the acquittal g--"To
| obey him, serve him, love, honor, and
| keep him in sickness and in death, and
forsaking all others, keep only unto him"
Az, I answered the accusing spirit that
| confronted me in that stillness-not the
messenger of peace that / had prayed
for: hut where is the human blindness
| that is answered according to its ask
iup!" and if have broken my vow,
was il not rendered void long before by
the unfaithful lips that put taunts for
honor. and accusations for the promised
comfort and watchfnlness :" So / went
upon my way. ch~erishing my STONY
griefs' for that time.
Tbe keen frosty air, the bright flush of
autumn leaves along the shaded streets.
recalled to me the day l hadturned away
from my home two years before. Oh,
how my heart ycarned toward my chill
dren, hungerilg for the sweet lips that
never would he taught to say Mamma"
for all the terror and the anguish that |
had borne for her dear life! And for the
first time / allowed myself to linger over
that day-my husbands love and sympa-
thy-his nights of watchfulness when
my life was endangered-the cordials
held to my lips, and the perfumes that
brought back the life Pickering out
faintly-the rose laid upon my pillow
when | slept-the amber and purple
grapes that tempted me. All! aud /
drew a long. quivering breath as came
out of that u~nshadowed past-had | not
cast away a gift that | might have made
all my own by patient wifely endur-
ance2
But it was not my duty to remain if
did not love him.
That was the answer; and | knew OF
no call that could break the seal set upon
the d~eath-slumber Off buried love.
CONCLUSION TOMORROW