Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1865-06-23
How Jim BlaIder Sailed and Picked
the Quaker Friend. w. .,
4 STORY ron OUn OWN TIMES.

There lived in Il certain iclghhorhood
not far distant from here, n registering,
rowdy bully, Jim Blander Jim was
sum" in u fight, kind of pugilistic
Napoleon. Many and bloody were The
affrays he had had in his lifetime. and
had invariably come Off best. Jim not
only considered himself invulnerable,
but all the fighting characters i'm the
surrounding country conceded 1t was no
use In fighting Jim, as he was consider
cd to be u patent thrashing machine,
that could not be improved on. In Jim's
neighborhood had settled quite num-
Der of Qual>ers. From some cause or
other, jim hated the "shad-bellies, as
he called them, with his entire heart
he often declared that to whip one of
these inoiiensiye people would be the
crowning glory Of his life. For years
Jim waited for n pBiext. One of Jim's
chums overheard young Quaker speak
in disparaging terms of him. The re-
ports soon came to Jim's ears, not u lit
tie magntled. Jim made desperate
threats what he was going to do with
Nathan, the meek follower of Penn, on
sight; besides various bruises and con-
tnsions he meant to inflict on Nathan's
body, in his chaste language, he meant
to "gouge out" both his eyes and "c!law
off" both his cars. .5- ...
Nathan heard of Jim's threats, and
very properly kept out of his way, hop
ing that time would modify Jim's an
ger 1t seems, however, this much-to-
be-desired result did not take place.
One day friend Nathan was out riding,
and In passing through long lane,
when about midway, he espied Jim en-
tering the other end. Nathan might
have turned and fled, but his flesh re-
bcllad Mt this proceeding. 81 will pur-
sue my way pcaceably," said the Qua
ker, " and l hope the better sense of the
man of wrath will not permit him to
modest me or allow him to do violence
to my person." Nathan's calculations
as to the lamb-like qualities of his ad
vcrsary were doomed to be disappoint-
cd. .s. ..s ... :. .
40, no." thought bully, rs he recog-
nized Nathan, ~ have him at last
Now I'll make mincemeat of shad-bel-
ly. will salt him and pickle him
"Wilt thou please dismount from thy
horsc"' said Jim, seizing the bride of
Nathan's horse and miinicking his
style; "my soul yearneth above all
things to give thee the biggest mauling
ever man received" s.a E.. ,a."...r
Friend James," replied Nathan,
"thou must not modest me, but let me
go on my way in peace. Thy better
Judgment will surely tell thee that thou
cannot possibly be benefited by per-
sOnally injuring me-" .. j.
Get down in IA moment" thundercd
jim get down, you canting, lying,
misunderstanding, cowardly hypocritc.
III drag you down if you don't dis
mount ..... ....,. ....
Friend James, | demonstrate against
thy proceedings and against thy Ian
guage, replied Nathan. My religion
teaches me sincerity; / am neither a
liar, mischiefmaker, nor a hypocrite;
/ am no coward, but man of peace
desire 10 pursue my way quietly-let
nle pass ON"
Get down" persisted Jim, down
with you ! want 10 beat some OF your
religion out Of you; ; must give YOU a
fiOgEing before I leave you. think hy
the sime I'm through with you. you'll
patss for a Guaerably decent man L will
teach you q shOst and easy IcasOu on the
importance Of Tninding your own al
fairs and the vlsk you run in slaniering
your neighhors."
I" will not dismount,n said Nathan
firmly loosen thy hold from the bri
dlC.n
you won't, won't youw said Jim
"then here gocs,n and hc made de3
perate plunge to collar the Quaker.
Nathan was on his feet in an instant
on the opposite side of the horse. The
Quaker, although of much smaller pro
portions than his prosecutor, was al
sinew and muscle, and his well knit
form denoted both activity and strength
His wrath was evidently kindled.
Friend James," he implored, "thy
pertinacious persistence in prosecuting
me is annoying; thou must desist, OF
peradyenture ] may so far forget my
self as to do thee some bodily HARM
BY snakcsW said Jim, coming to-
ward Nathan, ~ believe there is fight
enough in broadbrim to make tho affair
interesting. | wish some of the boys
We're here to see the fun. Now, friend
Nathan, am going to knock off the
end of your nose look out ~
Suiting the action to the word, Jim
after various pugilistic gyratons with
his fists, made scientific blow at the
nasal formation of our Quaker friend
but Tom Hyer couldn't have more sci.
entilically have warded it OF. "
Jim was evidently disconnected at the
! ~ success Of his first attempt; he saw
he had undertaken about as much us he
was likely to accomplish. Jim, howev-
er, Strengthened himself out, and APP
| preached Nathan more cautiously. The
contest began again. Nathan stood his
ground firmly and Warded off the show.
cr OF blows skillfully, which Jim aimed
at him.
Friend James," said Nathan. in the
heat of the contest, "this is mere clild'S
play 1T grieyes me that thou hast
forced me into resistance, but ! must
defend myself from bodily harm sae
there Is but one way Of bringing this
scandalOus and wicked affair to a close
and that IL by conquerin9 thee; i'm or,
der to do this, ] will innict u heavy blow
between thine eyes, which will pros.
trate thee.n Following out the sugyes-
ton, Nathan struck Jim u tremendous
blow or his forehead, which brought
him senseless to the ground.
| Now" said Nathan, "I will teach
thee lesson, and I hope it will be d
wholesome lesson, too. will seat my
self astraddlc Of thy breast; will place
my knees upon thy arms, thus, SO that
| thou cannot injurc me when thou re-
turnest to consciousness. hope may
be the humble instrument of tanning
1 thy fierce, warlike nature, and make {,
better and more respectable man OF
| thee"
| As the Quaker concluded, Jim began
/ to show some signs OF returning lifr. -
The first impulse Of Jim, when he fair
| y saw his condition, was to turn Ma
than off. He struggled desperately
but he was i'm u vice his effort was un
ayalling. aauM gHgr .ag
Friend, thou must keep still until ]
am done with thee" said Nathan. " |
believe ] am an humble Instrument III
the hands Of God to chastise thee, and
trust when am done with thee thou
wilt be q changed man. Friend james,
does thee not repent Of attacking mc?"
-" No. said James; !" let me up and
| I'll show you"
!" I will not let thee up, thou impioua
wretch - replied Nathan " darcstthou
profanc the name of thy Maller-I will
punish thee for that-I will check Thy
respiration for moment
| Nathan, as good as his word, ciutn,led
| him by the throat. He compressed his
grip, gurgling sound could be heard
Jim's facc became distorted; tremoI
! ran through his frame. He WIGS evi-
IDENTIFY undergoing process ofBtranpa.