Clarksville chronicle. (Clarksville, Tenn.) 1857-1865, 1865-09-01
now NE CAME TO BE MARRIED.

tWaScu Z because 0lu0 ilke Tue fflttefS IOf II
was behind the fence LOOKING through knotbole,
could look at one long enough. Well, my sister
Lib gave party one night, aud stayed away
from home because was too. bashful to face the
music hung around the house whisting ''0d
Dan Tucker" dancing to keep my feet warm,
watching the heads bobbing up and down behind
the window curtains and wishing the laundering
party would brake ur so Icould go to my ROOM
smoked up bunch of cigars, and it was getting
late and mighty uncomfortable. concluded to
skin up the door post. No sooner said than done,
and soon put myself snug in bed.
"Now," says |. "let her rpl Dance till your
wind gives outr' And cuddling under the quilts,
Morpheus grabbed me. "r
| was dreaming of soft shell crabs and stewed
tripe, and was having good time when somebody
knocked at the door and woke me up. "RapH
again I laid low. Rap, Rap, Rapl' Then |
heard Whispering and ] knew there was a whole
raft of gals out side. crap, rap!' Then Lib
sings ont:
"Jacls, are you in there p
ayes says l.
Then came a roar of laughter.
"Let us in" says she.
al won't says ]. "Can't you let fellow
alone ?"
Are you bed?n says she.
"Ies," says |.
acct up says she.
"l won't says |.
Then came another laugh.
By thunder! began to get riled
"Get ont, you pctticoated scare crowsl' | cried.
Can't you get beau cithout hauling fellow out
of bed2 won't go home with you--l won't-so
you may clear outf' tr
And, throwing n boot at the door felt better
But presently, oh mortal buttons heard still,
small voice. very much like sister Libs, and it
said:
slack, you'll have to get up for all the girls
things are there29
80 Lord, what picklei'' Think of me in bed,
nll covered up with shawls, mufls bonnets, and
cloales, and twenty girls outside the door waiting
TO get ini If had stopped to think | should have
pancaked on the spot As it was, ! rolled out
among the bonnet-ware and ribbons in hurry
Smash! went the millinery in every direction. |
had to dress in the dark--for there was crack in
the door, and the girls will peep--and the way !
iumbled was death straw hats. The critical
moment came. opened the door and found my
self right among the women.
| 80, my Lcghornr cried one tMy dear darl-
ing, winter velvet! cries another and they pitched
in-thcy pulled me this way and that, boxed my
ears and one bright eyed little ri,ce--Sal--her
name was-put her arms right round my neck and
kissed me right on my lip. Human nature could mt
stand that and gave her as good as she SENT
1t was the first time ever got taste and il was
powerful good. ! belive could have kissed that
"Jack, said She "we are sorry to disturb you,
but won't you see me homc2"
"les," said I, ~ will.'
j did do it, and had another smack at the gate
too. After that we took kinder turtle-dovng
after each other both of us signing like barrel Of
new cider when we were away from each other
Twas at the close of q glorious summer day--the
sun was setting behind distant hen-roost--the bull
frogs were commencing their evening songs the
polly wcg, in their native pud-muddles, were pre-
pairing themselves for the shades of night and Sal
and myself sat upon antiquated backlog, listen
ing to the music of nature, such as tree-toades
roosiers, and grunting pigs, and now and then the
mellow music of distant jackasses was waited to
our ears by the gentle zephyrs that sighed among
the mullen stalks and came heavy laden with the
delicious odor Of hen-roosts and pig-styes. The
last lingering rays of the setting Chanting from
the buttons of solitary horseman, shone through
kuothole in hog-pen full in Sals face, dying heI
hair an orangepeel hue, and showing OFF my thread
bare coat to bad advantageous of my arms wal
around SAILS waist, my hand around the small o
her back-she was toying with my locks of ie
black hue--she was almost gone and | was ditto
, She looked at me like grasshooper dying with thu
c-coughs, and ! fell like mudturtle chokeC
with Goldfish ball.
"Sal," says !, in a voice as musical as the notc
of dying swan, "will you have me ~
= She turned>her eyes hcavenward clasped me by
the hand had an attack OF heaves and blind stag
gers and with sigh that drew her shoe-strings 4
! her palate said "Yes!'
She gave clear out and squatted in my lap sh
: corked-screwed and cur1unJxed AMI rolled in.
huggcd her until broke my suspender and he
breath smelt of onions she eat two weeks before.
Well to make a long story short she set the day
! and we practised for four weeks every night hoy
b we would walk in the room to get married, till W
got so we could walk rs graceful as a ccupel o
o Muscovey ducka. The night the company and tn
y minister came, the signal was given and arm i
J. arm we marched through the crowded hall W
g were just entering the parlor door, when down
went kerslap the oil cloth, pulling Sal arter mi
a Some cussed fellow had dropped banana ski
l. on the floor and il hoored me. Itsplit an aw.t
hole in my cassimeres right under my dress cos
tail. 1t was too late TO back out, so capping m
= hand over it we marched in and were splced, an
taking seat watched the kissing the bride oper'
d ton. Ny groomsman'was tight and he kissed hC
Q till jumped in to take slice when, oh horror
b little six-year old imp had crawled behind me an
n pulled my shirt through the hole in my pants, an
& pinned it TO the chair, and in jumping mp Idi
: played to the admiring gaze of the asonished mu
a ttude triAe more of white muslin than was plea
n ant The women giggled, the men roared, and
lgot mad, but was finally put to bed and there a
o my troubles ended Goodnight.