Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1865-08-31
From the Louisville Journal.
Paragrnphs--Principnliy OrfgS-
nal.

When you buy powderfor shooting haros.
buy hare-powder.
IL you are going where there is a cross
dog, take pistol, so that when he snaps at
you, you can snap at him.
Ladies don often go hunting with fowl.
ing pieces and when they do, they can't
generally lind anything to set their caps at.
Men whistle for then dogs, but partridges
whistle for themselves.
In battle there is of course materialdif.
ference between a quick shot and a dead
shot
A young man whilst standing up to be-
married takes the palm
Even a one-armed man, if loyal in right.
eous war, is doubly armed, for he hath his
quarrel just.
Some people, when courting, are like cats;
they have to proclaim it to the whole neigh.
borhood.
A pitch battle-two darkies throwing tar
pots at each other.
=. A beautiful young widoNis resistless.-
Many who talk about ''the widows mite"
have felt her might.
Probably there are at this time in the
United States thirty thousand limbs hatched
out of acorn-eggs.
1t may seem queer, but our hot weather
doesn't light as many matches as cold.
The hammer least likely to hit the nail on
the head is the ninny- hammer.
How to correct a mistake in whisky-rec-
tify it.
All the animals have an oyerseer; be is
called the Giraffe
The Kangaroo looks as if he might make
a good hort-hand writer.
A moeking birds egg is the lay of the
minstrel
If you mean to marry for money, be eau
tious. The indications of wealth are often
as deceptive as oil.
4 fellow too drunk to keep on horses
back can probably keep on his own.
A man popular with the ladies is apt to
fancy after time that they all have turn
up noses.
! Women sometimes dislike to get into the
papers themselves, but they are fond Of
having their hair in them every night.
DO you think, sir, that my butter is
old?' "Oh. no, madam, not old enough to
have lost its hair. -
We have no gadiatorial combats as they
had in Rome, no bull fights as they have in
Spain, and so we flock to the court houses
and legislative hall to see brutal encoun-
ters.
Better be without farthing in the purse,
than without thought in the brain.
\ man is apt to think he can DO nothing
without wife, when in truth he could do
nothing with one.
Horses teeth tell how old they are, bu.
women tongues don't.
The only riches we can carry with US into
another world are riches of the soul.
Men bestow a world of pains upon ship
until she is ready for the ocean, and then,
without word Of explanation-let her
slide.
! If you don't act upon you own convic-
/ ton. it may be the Sheriff duty TO act up
ON your conviction before you are much
older.
He who cannot bear to be alone because
he soon gets weary of himself, should re-
+ feet that others will still sooner get weary
of him.
There is many gracelcss preachers on
grace, and many an uncharitablc one upon
charity.
''Do you know, sir that when I left MI
home, my old friends did me the honor to
give me a musical escort?" "Oh, under.
stand, you were drummed out Of town"
Some minds will always be slow till you
cut them to the quick.
GU may depend upon me, my wife;
| give you my word. y Il would rather
you would sometimes keep it, sir. -
! Some husbands let themselves be hen
pecked as INCREASINGLY as an ear Of corn.
Music the only earthly enjoyment that
the imaginations Of men have transferred
to Heaven.
Lawyers are the vultures that hover over
perishing fortunes.
To our eyes, the far distant past, orbs it.
self into perfect star, that we saw not
when we moved therein.
\ man may wish to accustom himself to
the censure Of others, and appear fool
that he may endure fools
! One who has butterfly taste and dispo-
sition will find enough honey cells still open
in every blue thistle-bloo of destiny.
! We cannot wholly despise money; it is
the metal wheel-work of human activity,
/ the dial plate Of our value
We may see at first the beauty and strife
apple of marriage, hanging onlyon the sun
ny side Of love; but the green sour side no
one sees.
Weep not before the eyes of others, dom
allow the water-works Of your feelings to
play as spectacle to those around you.
! A moderate degree of back biting should
rather be encouraged than cesured in mar.
ried woman as a slight compensation for