The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1865-12-28
A. Ward "Strikes lie y
SALT RIVER BORING, 1865.

My Dear Betsy Jane Here am cum,
as slick as grease, out of the 'slings and
arrears of outragis forchune," as the Poit
says. If anybody inquiries to Baldwlns-
Vile about Artenus Ward, that used to
be some in the Show Business, say to them
with tear in thy |, Artemus Chats the
Greek spell OF my name, the great show
man is ded-that Is, to ignoble persoots.
Fell them that ArteInus is no more Artelnus
but body corporated - tell em Betsy
Jane Ward is no more the wife of the Cap
tain of the Baldwiusville maishy, but lady
Betsy Jane, I've struck lie Tam as rich
as Creasus. My lie will spirit up in stream
hundred feet hi, and as thick as the main
mast of the lronsides. rs g-E.se
0 Betsy, what site ofmean work I've
dun in my past career ! To think that
used to handle the Bo Constructor and other
reptile snaiks, in my show, and all for no
use, | got poorer and poorer, while the
snaiks and tigers got fat and at last the
pesky rebs confiscated my show, and 9th
clos occupation was gone. FsF&
This is kold world. Betsy particularly
where there is no lie, When got poor
(cauz waz too good natured, like father Alb
raham, and let the bops INTO my show with
out payin) even my monkey made mouths
at me, and lwar a wax fgger myself-that
| is, | was patience on a monument. But
nobody saw it" but me- Now it is differ
ent Shakspeer, or some other wise theolo-
gun, said Some is born CRATE, some win
greatness by a pack of cards or horse race,
aud the rest git big by axident. Now
didn't win it, or git it thurst into ME, but
bored it out of the stuns of Salt River, with
government orgur. #Eti.,
| Borin is of two kinds-borin for the cor
poration Chat is for the money!, and after
wards for the lie Wall, you see. | bored
myself out A ward into CRATE company,
dication Manufacturing Company" | tell
you privately that name took splendid. We
that's me aud Artelnus and Mr.. Ward
opened All offs, and from Monday till Sun
day dawn We bookt the shares.
/ Our company was organized to witt
had II millions of shares at cts a share
| sent reserves for working capital. W.
guaranteed everything. We tole the noos'
boys and other conterbans that we had thu
royalty and 'fee simple" of the lie on Sal
river We told 'em We was opposed to arts
tokracy and big shears.
We tole 'em the shears was 'Hinited''-s
they were to our treasury. Our shears wen
up to II dollars and IA IL cents in 4 days
We sold out and started anuther, aud thi
way We went on, till the vale of Salt Rive
. was bored like pepper box.
Betsy Jane, I've guy you the modius op
erandy Of striking lie The man wot go
rich on wot s talers guv him. and inscribed
patriotickally on his Buggy, Nine Tattr
Made me a man. was fool along side tn
Wards I'm comm to BaldensviIle seon t
cloce up thine undstinguished career, am
open in Bosting an establishment wurthy c
, , Betsy Jane. Tell Zeke Biglow to make
Coach 4 and on the pannel Orger as big a
, a main mast of ship. | intend to max
the Goldfish higgins pale their ineffectoos
fires as the possible says. The Artemus col
poration sends thee a oleagenius tarewe
kiss No more at present
. -cs- From thy dearest luv,e
ARTEMUs WARD.