Burlington free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1827-1865, 1865-10-13
Shirts and how to Make Them Fit.
From Hours at Home for July.

Shirts and how to Make Them Fit.
From Hours at Home for July.
A long time ago. / undertook the super
vision of set of the Aforesaid garments,
Including of course the wearer. 1t was the
height OF young ambition that the man
should be exactly fitted by his shirts. con-
corning which he began to make complaints
just one moon after | took him in charge.
Nv hat is the matter with them? meek
ly inquired.
.'IBere isn't single one that fits me. y
Totally unsuspicious Of the inherent wick
edness Of the article concerned, j ilattered
myself that the difficulty would he easily
remedied. So ripped here and basted there,
pulled up thie shoulder and pulled down
that. till | thought | had got it.
Mistaken mortal il would not fit
made another series of experiments with
equally futile results Then | consulted one
or two friends. and felt sure | had di-coy-
cred where the shoe-I mean the shirt
pinched. | applied cure. bur the thing
WASH I cured. Next | employed tailor to
try his skill. Not one whit better. The
man WAS getting and was getting-desper-
ate.
~ NV q
council of sewing women, and We went into
a committee OF the whole. For hours, we
expended our united wits on single shirt,
suhiecting the iuckless ownsr To success
size trials of the garment.
Don't that fit your neck exactly ? asked
the head of the conspiracy, as for the forty
fifth time we gathered around our victim.
why. yes" with charming smile of
relief. and twisting his head about exueri-
mentally really. cannot suggest any i'm
prOvement.
.Oh be joyful exclaimed |. clapping
my hands.
.Sups)se," said one of the wise women,
looking at me over her glasses as IL some
important idea had struck her. "suppJse We
cut out a new shirt on the improved plan,
and, if it suits, take pattern from 1t.
Agreed cried quite ijubilant, and ran
to chest for the cotton.
So we cut, basted and tried on-sewed and
tiled on-starched, ironed and tried ON.
Capital affirmed our representative Of
the lordly sex. .'Not thread aniss. 1t is
the first time in my lite that shirt has ex-
actly fitted me-
As grateful memorial. made SIX new
ones after the identical pattren. We enter
ed on our epoch.
Woe was that day, Must own that be-
fore forty-eight hours had passed that eek
actly fitted individual called me aside ana
pointed with cruel significance to his neck
81 am very sorry, with the blandest air
in the world. 81 suppose your mistake came
from your great desire not to choke me-
Mistake choke you echoed /, con-
vulsIvely, little tempted to try the lstter
Don't he troubled. 1t requires only
slight alteration trihe cut out of the
binding, that's all. You sec it's rather
large
.'Why couldn't he have found it out be-
fore?"-to myself Then aloud, with great
dignity:
Tell me precisely how much to cut out"
"Well, should say about an inch -
Just about an inch, muttered | sarcas-
tieally. adding with a sudden burst of indig-
nation, Il believe the mischief Is all in your
neck, which dilates and contracts ON pur-
pJse 10 torment me
lie smiled kindly on my wrath!ul tears.
and l-weil. wien the shirt WAS rough
dry. l dVujtiully cut out the inch, bastcd
line binding. and tried 1t on again.
That J. lust WIN Is wanted. Ii does very
nicely BOW, You eoc. working his chin up
and Down.
'.lou So. / dii before
Practice make, perfect, anu tins time
va LIs %, nail CA the head
rtn ~, c arsr was completed he once
n.1ro t7I.d uH th -hirt, afd ,quIvnciily ~
-ur,d u, in.,t -, ftjc,i 10 I. S,iuadc
tie s..:.r s.i afti "a IN the other fyc. and al
Gpwn e. take hiy at cointOrt.
...rs %. y I'M. ,X.,r f..Nr
IL ,Gc .u,-r Of Il fortnight the man gave
me an invitation u ride with MIN, which
wac odiy 10, .itlpv u accept. How extreme
is gracious AMI agrcca' le he WAS becoming
From one thing To- another he led the con-
yersa,ion, till finally he approached the old
hateful topic (he had on one of his new
shirt-.)
Il don't mind my vexation,' remarked |.
innocently, NOW that You are at last suit
ed"
Then surprising the matter forever at
rest, | turned 10 pleasantcr subject. But
coming back 10 the shirts again. his face as
sumed such a deprecaung look that | ex-
claimed in alarm:
Nothing als them now. | hope -
..Only very little thing, and easily al
tered. La your fear of getting them too
large lhcy are trlue TOO sndil-Unly /
tritle."
My heart swelled, but | uttered not a
word.
When We reached home, | made him
measure of on his foreiinger exactly how
much he wished to have inserted. The shirt |
he had on happened to he the identical one
had first altered. 1 was fortunate enough |
TO discover in my work basket the very piece |
had cut out and | malicious enough to ex-
ult at its proving the exact measure was OF the |
addition wanted. So | sewed it in again.
repeating to myself all the while, '.On the
crUtchety-ness Of mani
Will you believe me when | whisper it
that alter all this, Tor many
years. alternated between cutting out and
putting IN the same pirce-the mans neck
playing me false.
of late, however, have dropped the la
Dor of sewing, having discovered that pin
ming over one week. and unpinning the -xt,
answers all the purpose. The vctlm of this
perpetual change silently acquiesces in the
inevitable arrangement, and what is better,
be has learned to do the thing himself
There is shirt hanging over a chair in
MS chamber at this moment. had the cur
osity to 90 in and examine it, as | have
,een writing. find it is the pinning-ov