Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1865-02-18
rACITIE.


and no pints in bis jokes.
-GEoss -"Isn't it strange" remarked
a lady, that the Misses Smith are s,
gross 'Not at ALL was The reply
their father was grocer"
--pERHArs He WAs-It is we'll knowr
that the philosopher Thales believed wate
to DO the first principle. Query: Wa'
ILalcs a Dilkman?
--Sr1cKlNG.-Young women in seaporte
should understand the fact that sailors
though covered with pitch, are famous
for not sticking to their word.
is there an English word that con,
tains oil the vowels Unquestionably. A
tee totaller thinks that all Sensible peo'
ple' would prefer them in their regular
order-Absteniously.
A man, seeing an oyster veLder pass
by, called out-'Give me pound of oys-
ters." ave sell oysters by measure, not
by weight" was the oystermans reply
Very we'll" said the other, then I'll take
a yard Of them
A passenger, having hired boat to
take him across a rather rough stream,
asked the Irish boatman if anybody was
ever lost there. "Niver," replied Pat ;
"me brother was drowned here last week,
but we found him again the next day.
Pals B7undcr-A gentleman resd-
ing in Boston, as the story goes, seeing
an lrishman removing an embankment
from dwelling, inquired" Patrick,
what ore you doing?' II am opening
the cellar window to be sure And
what are you doing that for p May it
please your honor, said Patrick, TO let
the dork.
WuMcd-A flower from the garland
Of fame A brush made from the eye
brow Of the eye of the wind A lock Of
hair from the head Of DISCOURSE \
curl from the head Of cabbage. A small
phial of the tears Of the weeping willow.
A few coppers from the Charge Of time
A feather from the wing Of the dog that
flew at the bal gar the other night.
FAsWoxABLG CALLs.-We find in an
exchange the following, in which f.iend
iutiuute> there is more truth than poetry:
Enter Mss Lucy, nearly out Of breath
with the cxertion Of walking from papa's
carriage in the street to the door of her
friend.
Lucy-O, Maria how do you do? How
delighted am to see you! How have
you been since | w you at the ball las,
Thursday evening? Wasn't the appear,
ance Of that tall girl in pink perfectly
irighttul? Is this your shawl on the pi-
ano? Beautiful shaw! Father says be
is going to send to Paris to get me a
shawl in the spring, cant bear home.
made shawls? How do you Ike Monsieur
Esbry? Beautiful man, isn't he? Now,
don't laugh, Maria for I'm sure don't
care any thing about him
Oh, my! must be going-it's beau
tiful pin! That pin was given to you
how, know it was, Maria, don't deny it
Harry is coming up to see me this even
ing but hate him-I do, really; but he
las a beautiful mustache, hasn'. he, Maria?
., dear ne, isn't it very warm? Good
morning, Maria. Doo't speak to Harry in
connection with my name to any one, for
l am sure it will never amount to any
thing; but hate him awfully! lam sure
l do! Adcu!
MATcHEs.-Ihose nice indispensable
little domestic sp,ints, how handy. "Out
Of Matches there's something out Of
place all the day How shonld we light
our fires, our candles, our brl,;rnt kero,
sene, and the smoker his pipe, or his cirsar
without match Many q man not over
sixty can remember the freq uent sum-
mons in his boyhood. Johnny, the fire is
out; get up ard q to Mr BIS and borrow
some 10 get break fas: BY" and he must
leave bis warm bed a0d morning dreams,
and aHcc'eas perhaps on frosty morning, |
I'm for dear lie to borrow fire." Here
j. q substitute for them in part: From
pine blocks, spit off splints about the size
AL length Of Matches tie them firmly
in buAchc$ Of fifty Or one Hundred. Even
ready melted birthstone, into which i'm
mgrse the heated end one auartar If On
inch. or 50, and let them COOL These an.
,licl 70 a bet stove or the heat Of = kara.