The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1865-02-10
WARD ON BOSTON.


Artemus Ward writes to his Dear
Betsy" concerning his late visit TO the
Modern Atkins"
The y.inder of my room commands
exhilcratin' view of Cops Hill, where
Cotton Mather, the father of the Reform
cy5 and sich, lie berried There is men
even now who worship Cotton, and there
is wimmcn who wear him next their
harts. But l don't weep for him. He's
been dead too lengthy. | amt going to
be absurd, like old Mr.. Shillings, i'll our
uaLolhood, who is ninety-SiX years of
ape. and gets drunk every lection day,
and weeps bitterly because he haint
rot no Parents He's nice Orphan, he
is.
Bunker Hill is over yonder in Charles
ton. In l7a5 thrillin' dramy was acted
ont over there, i'll which the Warren
Combination" played star parts.
Old Mr. flannel is ded, but his Hall is
still into full hast. This is the Cradle
in which the Goddess of Liberty was
rocked, my Dear. The Goddess hasn't
hecm very we'll during the past few
y,ara, and the numris qnack doctors she
called in didn't help her amy; but the
old nal'- physicians now are men who
understand their business, Major-gcncr
ally speakin', and think the day is near
when she'll be able to take her three
meal, a Day aud sleep nights as conh'bly
IS in thu old time
The Common Is here as uShlll; and the
l.N cu~s who called il Vacant Lot, and
wautcL to know why they didn't orna-
meat with some Bildins', is an unhappy
Outcast in NapOhSit.
The State House is filled with states
men, but sum of III wear queer hats
They buy m, take it, of matters who
carry on hat stores down stairs III Dock
Suuaya. and whose hats is either ten
years ahead OF the prevailing style, or
ten yeaIS behind it-jcst as an intellcc-
tooal person sees fit TO think about. L
had the pleasure Of talkin' within sevril
members of the legislator. | told 'cm
the Eye of 1900 ages was onto we Amell-
can people of to-day. They seemed deep
~ impressed Ivy the remarks, and wanted
10 know if had seen the Crate Origin!
Harvard College. This celebrated i'll
stitution OF lea;nin spleasantly situated
in the Bar-roum of ParkcI's, in School
street, aud has roopils from all over the
country.
went over 10 Lexington yCs'dy My
Booyum hove with solemn emotiOns.-
'& this" | said TO man who was dir
vim yoke of oxen, 'this is where our
revolutionary folelathers asserted their
independence and split their Bind. Clas-
sic gIomd.'
Wall" the man said its good for
white beans aud potatoes, hut rs regards
Iaisn' wheat, faint worth q dam. But
hav YOU seen the Crate Orgin!"
returned in the Hoss Cars, part way.
4 poorly gal in Spectacles sOt near me,
ana was tellin Young man how much
heremm ded her of man she used TO
know in Waltham. Poorly soon the
Young man col out, and, Smilin' in Sc
ductiv manner, | said to the girl III spec
tacles, Don't remind you of somebody
you used 10 EnOw2' --
"Yes," said she, you do remind me of
one man, but lac was sent TO the pcnlten-
tiary for stealth Bari of mackcrel-he
died there g. Conclood you amt HIM"
didn't puTsOo the conversation. | only
heard her siivery voice once more durin'
the remainder of the jerney. Turnin' to
4 respectable loOkin' female of advanced
summers, she asked her if she had seen
tie Crate origin
We old chaps, my dear, are apt to'ior-
git that il is some time since we was in
fants and ct lite food Nothing OF fur
ther int'rist took place on the cars en-
cepta Colored gentleman, total stranger
10 me, asked If I'd lend him my diamond
Brcastpin 10 WeIr to funeral in South
Boston. ] told him / wouldn't--nOt
pUiYnss.
Altho' fur from the prabayries there is
abundant, of wild game i'll Boston, such
as quails, suipes, plaveo and Props.
Iment TO have allooded to the Crate
origin in tins letter, but | heven't seen il.
Nh Rceveer, whose tavern | stop at, in
forms NE that it can be distinctly heard
through a smoked glass in his nativ
town in New Hampshire, any clear day.
But ssttin tie Crate origin aside (and in
deed dou't think heard it mentioned
all the time l was there) Boston is one OF
the grandest, sure footodest, clear-head-
eldest, comtortahlest cities on the globe.
Onlike ev'ry other large city | was ever
in, the most Of the hackmen don't seem
to have bin speShully intended by nutur
for the Burglary profession, aud about
the only large CITY know of where you
daa't enjoy a brilliant Opportunity of he
in swihdIed in sum way, from the risin'
of the Sun to the goin' down thereof -