The Iowa transcript. (Toledo, Tama County, Iowa) 1858-1866, 1865-09-06
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avail, my pretty dears, sez |, Lets hey
sum fun. Let's play puss in the corner
What say -
"Air you Shaker sir ?" they axcd.
.Wall, my pretty dcars, haven't arrayed
my proud form in n long weskit yit, but il
they was all like you perhaps I'd jine en-.
As it is, I'm Shaker protemporary.
They was full Of fun. ! seed that at fust,
only they was leetle skeery tawt EN-
puss in the corner and SIGH like phase, and we
had nice time, keepn quiet, of corse, so the
old man shouldn't hear When we broke up.
sez l, MY pretty dears, ear 60 you hay no
objections, hav you, to innersent kiss at
partin p
..Yay," thay sed, and yaY'd.
Invent up stairs to bed. sposc I'd been
snoozin half hour when | was woke up BY
a noise at the door. sot up in bed, leanin
on nv ELDERS and rubin my eyes, and saw
the follern picter The Elder stood in the
doorway, with taller candle in his hand.
He hadn't no wearin appeerel on except his
night close. which futtered in the breeze like
a Seseshun flag. He sed, you're n man OF
sin = then groaned and went away.
went to sleep agn, and drempt Of runnin
orr with the pretty little Shakeresses, mount
ed on my Callforny Bar. thawt the Bar in
sisted on seern strate for my dooryard in
Baldinsville and that Betsy Jane cum out and
gave us a warm recepshun with pailful OF
Bilin water. | was woke up arly by the
Elder He sel refreshments was rcddy for
me down stairs Then sayin | was man Of
sin, he went groanin away.
As was goin threw the entry to the room
where the yttles was. | cum across the Elder
and the old female I'd met the night before,
and what we spose they wasup to! Huggin
and kissin like yung lovers in their gushing
est staff SEE |, MY Shaker friends. reck-
on you'd better suspend the rules, and git
marrid 7.
..You must excoos Brother Uriah, sed the
female; hes subject to fits and hain,t got no
command over hissclf when he's into en-.
..Sartinly,' seq I, i've bin took that way
myself frequent.
.You're man Of sin sel the Elder.
AFTER breakfast my little Shaker trends
cum in agin to clear away the dishes.
my pretty dears, sed |, shell We gag
agin9"
..Nay,' they sed, and naya.
The Shakers ayed me to go to their meetin
as they was to hav sarvices that mornin, SO |
put on clean billed rag and went. The
was white as chalk and smooth as glass The
Shakers was all on hand. in clean weskts
and meal bags, ranged on the floor like mil
linciery companies, the males on wun side vi
the room and the females on the toiher
They commenst clappin their hands and sing
in and dancin. They danced kinder slow at
fust, but as they got warmed up they shaved
it down very brisk, tell you. Elder uriah,
in particular, exhiberted 4 right smart chans
of spryness in his legs, considerin his time of
life. and as he cum dubhle-shufilc near wer
| sol. Rewarded him with approvin smile
and sed s.ITunky boy Go il. my gay and
festiv cuss
.Youre a man Of sin = he sed, eontinnerin
his shuttle
The Sperret, as they called it, then moved
a short fat Shaker to say fu remarks. He
sed they was Shakers and all was ekal. They
was the purest and selecktest peple on the
fails of the yearth. Other peple was sinful
as they could be. but Shakers was all right.
Shakers was all goin kerslap to the Promist
Land, and nobody want goin to stand at the
gate to bar EN- out, if they did they'd git run
over.
The Shakers then danced and sung again.
and arter they was threw. one of EN- axed me
what thnwt of it.
Ser l, what duz it signerfy?
..What ," SEE he
.sWhy this iumpin up and singint This
long weskit bizniss, and this anti-matrimony
idee! My trends, you air neat and tidy
Your lands is flown with milk and honey
Your brooms is fine, and yonr apple sass i
honest. When a man buys a kag OF apple
sass Of You he don find a CRATE many shavins
under few layers of sass-a little Game I'm
sorry to say sum Of my New England ances-
tiers used TO practiss. Your garding seeds is
fine. and if should EN- on the rock OF
of Cibralter probly should rase good mess
Of garding sass. You air honest in your
dealins Iou air quiet. and don't distarb
nobody For all this give you credit. But
your religion is small pertaters. must say
You NOPE away your lives here in single
retchedness, and rs you air all by yourselves
nothn ever confiicks with your peceolear
idees, except when Human Mater bnsts out
amung YOU. as | understan she sumtimes do.
RI Civ Uriah sly wink here, which made
the old Teller squirm like speared eel You
wear long weskits and long faces. and lead a
gloomy life indeed No children's prattlc is
ever hearn around Your hearthstuns-you air
in dreary fog all the time and you trea.
the Jolly sunshine Of life as tho it was thief.
drivin it from your doors by them weskits.
and meal bags. and pecooliar noshnns OF
yourn. The gals amung you, sum Of which
air as slick pieces of caliker as ever sot
eyes upon, air sighin to place their beds agin
weskits which kiver honest, manly harts.
while you old beds fool yourselves with the
idee that they air fulhllin their mishun here.
and air contented. Here you air. all pend up
by yerselves, talkin about the sins of world
you don't know nothin Of. Meanwhile said
world containers to resolve round her own
axle-tree cnct in eyry a hours, suhjeck to
the Constitushen Of the United States, and is
a very pleasant place of residence. 1t a
unnatural unreasonable and dismal life you re
leadin here. SO ii strikes me. My Shaker
trends, now bid you welcum adoo. You
hay treeted me cxcecdin well Thank You
kindly wun and all.
"A base exhibitor of depraved monkeys
and onprincipled wax works. sed Uriah
..Hello. uriah," seq l. I'D most forgot
you Wall. look out for them fits Of yourn.
and don't take cold and die in the flour OF
your youth and beauty
And | rcsoomed my jerney.
ARrEM.s WARD.
PALplrATiNa BosoMs-Not small amount
of ingenuity has, within the past few years.
been exercised by our inventors for the
L ~. IL. In.