The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1865-05-01
Railway Thoughts Do.


..Mowing must be q grieyous business. Old
~ Jaggers, by whose meadow / stood Tor an
hour; groaus loudly every stroke Of the scyt the.
' He made 4i2 strokes going the length Of his
Ga meadow; that's 412 groans. Quite peneten-
tial.: lie stopped to Whet three times, wiped
his face with his shirtsleeve nine times, and
swore twice at the bumblebees. These facts
/ took down to the County Statistical Asso-
ciation3 which preserves all such things Units
archives. always notice things that way, as
5OAzTne Negotiations Of the . IL Railway
,terrify me when read them. You must do
this and you must not do that, and passen-
gers are warned and informed and .lotif-
q edo and cautioned, until II have conc uded
that the only place where q man can ride
l peaeeably is on top OF the cars. There, no
prohibitions meet a fellow. Pc ,ss'a -,
~ g II laughed just nov. A fellow came id WHO
ss was built on the principle that length Is what
1n nature demands more than breadth. The cars
:. being full, he had to stand UP, and propped
himself BY the cheek-rope. he pulled IL so
hard that the cars stopped He rushed to the
o. door TO learn the cause. Started again. Like
result. Sucha row when the conductor found
!. tout & rsNoIq9TI1 rgTr6q "A n
aConfound chat old lady before me 4 had
- tussel with her to keep her from opening the
window She watched me, and the mo ent
went to sleep had IL raised to the roof. What
4 an sarachsl Gould only revenge M yseIf aslsI
81 was leaving the cars, BY accidentally dropping
~ my carpet bag out of the rack on her head
Ae Such squealp ~
n, .Squinleyed mother. Keeps ronepeye on
ilA her sleeping cherub the other On the beauties
l9ige OF Nature rs we pass al0ng."9 adi b4
tas ssI was expatiating just now upon the glo-
hi riss and abundance OF the harvest, and point
ssl aedit0 sone Immense field, golden with wheat
80 zshesxes, when that rascal Briggs dainpened
ss my spirits BY ggesting, Yes, heap oflgood
eating 10 that pile3 No romance in Briggs''
.sisaaa NChid onfhB next seatso deliberately curl
cd, should have to see ii Hndressed to know
the SEX Canfound The woman who will curl
her boys hair! What does she think hP will
come tor " { 49, ~ .eSA
Good expression-His hearts at big as q
BOULDER Much better than the obsolete form
'big's piece of chalk" siaE
Show indelcate to hang ladies' undet-gar
r. ments on clothes-lines In public. 1 always
d turn my eyes away, bntnot till have critical
y examined them. They are highly objec
tionable, and wonder 1t is allowed" ~
I" 'Singuiarv says Briggs. There's man
who weighs two hundred, and his wife moi
aas much less; yet their baby win hardly pull
easa down 1--WE pounds Briggs wants me to ex
$50 plain i, but tell him can't sS
,ixl avha did you ever observe there's no ANNA
q will notice a railroad train passing BY excepi
horse9 The COW, hog and goose pay you
no more attention than 3 boy In a lawyers
Office" As s.s $50 : : 800 -
SEES You can tell when an experienced traveller
cuserS tne Sar' ne chooses the SIDE opposite
,,s5 the sun. Greenhorns DON'T ga n
~ na," Why does that young woman deem 1t ne
q cessary, when she smiles, to show of the con.
dition Of her gums? ! could study dentistry
At In one hours Conversation with her. Should
Als only have to tell her 20 good jokes, and l
could then model every tooth in her head"
1d~aa = svAu Ilisss yesterday, kOOu. he asked
ns me II had anything new. told him yes-a
new pair Of drawers. Took him down beau.
nful. he Is always making merchandise Of
me when he can, but I disposed OF him cheap
3 that time.nd % g,aeA sdl sl-4ganeaI sdI