The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1865-02-22

men rather like it. We erecol!ect once upon
time in the city of Chicago of seeing
slight advantage taken Of one Of this class.
Good humoredly vexed, he ordered the
penalty for the crowd and remarked, "Gen.
tlemen, excuse me. know twenty places
where l can use that this afternoon, and
must 60 my ROUNDS.
Sells that involve feeling should always
be avoided. No one has right to use the
confidence Of another to impose on him
moments pain, and the man or woman
who woulddo that is not good, bit. You
can "sell" man employed down town, by
telling him that his house is on fire, that
his wife has fit, that his child has scalded
itself; or by stating thousand things Of
similar character; but these are absolute
lies, and for the time being give such in
tense pain to the victim that the liar is
never forgiven.
Losing friends by playing jokes on them,
was once so common that an old adage ex.
lists against the practice. April fooling is
nearly played out, and the sooner it expires
the better for the world. Selfshness alone
causes the use Of sufficient duplicity with
out making Deception a study and honor
ing it as W.T. There is no wit in telling a
lie. and not much honesty in panning
man out Of hat or pair Of boots. The
ordinary advertising lodges which now are
so common, are called sells, but they are
no more so than the regular Ads. headed
"Great Bargains" "Goods a: cost" "Rich
mond taken" and other captions which
mercantile men require printers to use to
draw attention to their wares. And,
besides, such decepticns last but moment,
are innocent in their effects on the reader,
and may be profitable to both reader and
seller. These thoughts were suggested by
-:... an .econnt OF sell perpetrated in
Cincinnati uppe, crusruom.
Husband and wife agreed "to sell" each
other; the best seller to dictate the penalty
to the sufferer The husband, If defeated,
was to wheel barrel of -four quite dis
tarce through the street, and the lady was
to 60 to church "a highly fashionable one)
dressed in some outandish costume, 81: in
The most prominent place and at the close
Of the services she was to present the
clergyman a 500 bill. The husband was
ninny, Of course, or he would not have
planned a penalty that would make his
vile publicly ridiculous, and that would
also desecrate worship to a clownish love
of notoriety. But, to the story: The
parties watched each other closely for days.
and no attack was made. At length one
day at dinner the merchant handed his wife
a note containing an invitation to party
on the next evening at the house Of
mercantile friend. The lady made every
preparation, advised with the husband
about her toilet, dresses, &C., &c. Next
morning she "was not well" and by evening
she was "qutc indisposed!" The hus-
band, after much persuasion, representing
the disappointment of their friends and his
own regrets, remarking that she "could
bundle up close" was kindly told he might
order carriage The mischievous wife
had previously dressed negrsss in her
clothes, bundled her up so as to be invisible
in face or form, and the silly man waited
on her tenderly to the carriage. II. was
equally tender in handling his beloved on
arrival at the house of entertainment, sup
ported her gently into the brilliantly lighted
parlor, announced her indisposition 10 the
be,jeweled and be. cologned guests, as the
cause Of their tardiness, when, on removing
the "bundles" about her head, neck and
face, Madame DlNAu was discovered At
that moment in stepped the wicked plotter
Of it all, "dresscd to death" and as sound
IS dollar, with "Dear Charles, what is the
price Of -four"
This is what we call very mean. His
tenderness for her and anxiety to preserve
her health, was taken advantage of to
mortify him for life. True, he had pro.
posed hard terms for her in case she was
beaten, but if she had nerve or brass enough
to accept the terms-she should have had
too much heart to put her "hubby" through
such dark ordeal. Wo don't like that
woman, and We don't care how soon some.
body tells her so!
Zone word more" as the stump speakers
say, and we are done: An old bachelor,
to whom we related this story, very wick
edly remarked he ''saw no necessity for
men and their wives to sell each other, for
the reason that there vas not one pair out
of ten vho did not find themselves "sold'
shortly after nsarriags" This satire We
do not indorsc-it is only the opinion Of a
bachelor any way, and what does he know
about it?
Miss Decoff Of Newcastle, N. H., was
making her bridal dress. She upset a
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