The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1865-08-10
BY SCHOFF. VINEGAR &FGO.

own mouth, but not generally at his ov
) expense. Ed
} We were not so lively towards the latt
, part Of the journey home; but we were ha
: Ply, and the young women slumbered peac
IN an engagedimanner on the shoulders of tt
young men-except in one or two instanc,
when the young men themselves slumbere
in an unengaged manner on the floor of tt
van-and the cornet woke up at the cornt
of Little Green street to signalize our retur
with blast of triumph. We paid Nj
Povey five shillings head, and biddin
him good night-or rather morning, for
was past twelve-assnred him with all sir
cerity that we had never spent more joll
day IN the whole course of our lives.
And now | come to relate how went
1 Derby the other day as swell. That car
riage and pair, | will confess at once, was
joint-stock affair. 1t happened this way
Mr.. Candy, who is addicted to fashion, AM
with whom have the honor to be acquaint
ed, said to me one day, ''Will you go dow
to Derby with US % meaning by the plura
personal pronoun Mrs. Candy aud himself
/ L rashly said EYES," and found afterward
| that was expected to pay half the charges
AZ" " III JOu 80 L dShSu. OL, III
carriage and pair, of course" replied Mr.
Candy, with a flourish of his hand waving
off all suspicious of rail, cabs omnibuses
and other vulgar kinds of conveyance
''Very well," | said.
Mr.. Candy undertook to engage the We
hicle, but leaving it until nearly the las
moment, experienced some difficulty, owing
to the unprecedented demand. At length
however, a phaeton and pair was secured
1t would be slap-up- turnout, the mar
said, with spanking pair of horses, anC
would be at the door at nine o'clock.
l was at the Candy mansion before that
hour, and found Mr.. and Mrs Candy pack
ing the hamper. ''NVe shall do the thing
in style" Mr.. Candy whispered to me, as
he popped the last foil-topped bottle into the
basket. ..- 49,.
Mrs Candy hoped SO; but Mr.. Candy
had been rash enough to invite Miss Crouch
er, who, though person of good family,
and accomplished, aoootld insist upon wear
ing one-and-elevenpenny gloves, which
were necessarily thumby, and calculated to
detract from style.
Mrs. Candy bad been assured that the
pheton and pair would be all right. Judge,
then, of the fall that took place in Mrs.
Gandy's countenance when the phaton and
pair dashed up to the door, discovering what
might, without libel, be described as a
shandrydan, a couple of horses that did not
match, and a driver who had arrayed him
self for the occasion in chocolate colored
corduroys and speckled straw hat, swath
ed in a wish of green blind 1t only requir-
ed the arrival of Miss. Croucher, in pair
Of open-work silk gloves, in which her hands
were caught like two red mullets in bag
nets, to reduce Mrs. Candy to that depress-
ed condition when the female spirits require
burnt feathers and cognac. 1t was clear
that we never could allow ourselves to be
driven to Epson by a man in a speckled
straw hat SO Mr.. Candy rugged him out
with hat of his own, adorned with sill
yer band hastily obtained from a shop in
the neighborhood. TO be sure, Mr.. Gandy's
hat was a little too large for the man, but
with padding Of brown paper it fitted
pretty well, until it came down over his
eyes, with the exertion Of driving, when the
vulgar people of the vans and omnibuses
told him ''to come out of it." There was
no doing anything with Miss. Croucher, for,
though she wore black net gloves, she had
money and no relations but the Gaudy's
So we started, and tried to look as like
swels as we possibly could under the cir
cumstances.
MIR. and Mrs. Candy sat on the back
seats, and lolled as genteelly as anybody
could lo!l, and Miss Croucher and sat on
the narrow front seat, as uncomfortably as
anybo ly could sit. We didn't talk much, that
not being genteel; and when the driver sug-
gested the necessity of washing out the
horses mouths, he was told that it could
not be permitted. | had little flask of
brandy i'll my pocket, and would
have given the world to take pull at it !;
but l felt that it would not be genteel and
proper | should have liked to smoke, but
that was altogether out of the question.
Our driver finding that we were very gen
teel, took us by short cuts, and avoided as
much as possible the stream of vulgar life.
This was favorable to the maintenance of
our dignity but every now and then, when
we were driven to join the crowd at con-
vergence of roads, we were taken down a
peg by those vulgar fellows on the 'busses
asking our driver to come out of that hat
1 will say this of our driver, that he was
UGIGCL huOWu1 Stllu llCiO Il ClIClS, Ol &C
quaintance, than any Of u.s. Twenty times,
at least, between London and EPSON, per-
sons i'll vehicles(generally on the box seat
nodded their heads or jerked up the hand
les of their whips in token of recognition
Several persons called him familiarly
George, and one asked him ''Where he had
dug it from ? P" which l understood to refer
to the pheeayton, as George called it. This
mystery was cleared up afterwards, when
we learned that George was by normal pro-
fession cabman, who, on Derby and other
high days.and holidays, did a little livery
business on his own account, using his own
horses, and digging up ''pheeayton :"
where he could find one in any mound de-
voted to the shooting of vehicular rub
Dish. .y
We paid a guinea to go upon the course.
and, the horses having been removed, we
were seized upon by a dozen half naked,
clamorous fellows, who dragged the pheeay-
ton this way and that way, and showed, and
pushed, and pulled, until thought the
pheeayton would have been deprived Of its
head. Each one of the dozen fellows de-
clared that to him belonged the sole merit
of having pulled US about, and demanded
money, and wouldn't go away until he got
it. Then, other fellows, seeing that we
were swels, insisted upon brushing us, and
when we resisted, and exhibited our own
cIothes-brush, they cried 'Yah shabby ~
at us, and brought down upon the pheeay-
ton the attention of all the drags by which
it was surrounded, and which completely
but out our view of the race-course We
were SO blocked in among the mass of carr
riages on the hill, that it was impossible to
get out even on foot so Mr. Candy and L.
who had designed to walk about with the
view of being seen by our friends were OBJ
liged to remain in the carriage. BY conf
parison with others, our hamper was not
such a grand affair as it had promised, when
Mr.. Candy was packing the spark
ling" Beside the hampers from Fortuuu
and Mason,s neatly packed with paper
shavings, ours showed its home made orr
gin most Enthusiastically. 1t was composed
Of brown wicker, and it was packed with
! ~, L. i