The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1865-03-18
How ICame TO be Married.

oysters stews, brandy cocktails, cigar boxes,
bCot.jacks, absconding shirts buttons, whist
and dominoes. Shadows present - hoop
skirts, band boxes, ribbons, CATERS, long
stocking, juvenile dresses, tin trumpets, little
willow chairs, cradles, bibs, pap sugar teats
! paregoric. hive syrup, rhubarb, senna, salts,
! squills and doctors bill. Shadows future
More nine pound babies, more hive syrup,
etc. etc. I'll just tell you how / got caught.
l was always the darndest. most tea custard
bashfi;l fellow YOU ever did see 1t was kinder
in my line to be taken with the shakes every
time saw pretty gal approaching me and
| I'd cross the street any time rather than face
| one, twasn't because | didn't like the critters,
! for if was behind fence, looking through
a knot hole, | couldn't look at one long
enough. Well my sister Lib gave party one
night, and | stayed away from home because
| was too bashful to face the mus C. l hung
around the house whistling cold Dan Tuck
er," dancing 20 keep my feet warm, watching
the heads bobbing up and down behind the
window curtains, and wishing the thunaering
party would break up, so | could get to my
room. | smoked up bunch of cigars, and
as it was getting late and mighty uncomfort-
able, l concluded to shin up the door post.
No sooner said than done, aud soon found
myself in bed. Now" says |, "let her rip.
Dance TIL your winds give out. And cud-
ding uuder the sheets, Morpheus grabbed
me. | was dreaming Of soft shell crabs
ard stcwed tripe, and was having Il good
time. when somebody knocked at the door
and wohe me up. Rap again. | lay low.
Rap, rap rap Then | heard a whisper,
and then knew there was a whole raft Of
girls outside. Rap rap" Then Lib sings
o&i, Jack, are you there p Yes says |
Then came roar of laughter. BY thunder,
began 10 get ri!ed. Get cut, you pet,icoa;-
ed scarecrows. | cried can YOU get q bean
wI,hou; hauling fellow outof bed? | won't
20 10 ne with yo.-I won't--so you may
clear out - And throwing 1 boot Al the door
| felt better. But presently, Oh! mortal
buttons. | heard q still! small voice, very
much ike sister Lbs and !. SAID, Jack
yDul! have to &c. up, 70. all the girls things
are in there :" Oh! Lord, what 4 pickle,
Think of me IN bel all co.ered with shawis,
rnGtf=, bonaets and clOtks, and twenty gir.s
outside the door. waiting TO &c; in II !
had stopped to think | should hD"e PancaSed
on the spot. - it was, rolled ont among
the bonnet wire and ribbons IA hurry
Smash went the millinery IN every direction.
| had 10 dress in the dark-ior there was
'.-ack in the doo-, and girls viii peda-anda
the wav funbl q about WAS death to straw
mats ne tEtlltdi tDiI'l4L ELstl-. Jptl4t-
the door and found myself right among the
women "Oh. mv Leghorn!' cries one.
NV dear. darling. winter veiyet.'' cries
another. and they pitched in-they pulIe.!
me this va; and that. boxed my ears, and
one brightcred little p.cce-Sal-Eer name
vas, put her arms right around my neck. aad
kissed ri ,ht on my lips. Human nature
co-.H 81. stand that, and gave her - good
as she sent. Ii W. the hrst tan" / c~rr GJ-
. ts.s:c, ant 1t vas powerful good. believe
/ could have kissed ghat -ai troh Jalus
Cesar 20 the fourth Of July. ''Jacf, AID
she. We are sorry TO disturb vou. bat won't
YOU see me homc?' "les. VII replied
/ did do il. and had another smack ~ the
gate too. Ate. that. ysc took kinder turtle
dovinr after each o:hcr. both OF IA signing
like =. barrel OF new c, when were from
each other
Twas AZ the close of glorious Summer
Iay-tle sun vss setting behind T. distant
ko.--pe,.-thc chickens vcr. Going 70 rUJ5;-
rb. LuII-rrn wer, cnunncnc-ln., Their even
inr sopg,-the pg'.vvors. in their native
mud nudIas. w.-e pr.garii.r themselves isr
tho shades ofufrht-and Sal and n,vscll were
,i.,i.r mon Al a1t:aga,ei lacl,.l5-, listen
;,r t4.. n,,,s:,. of ,,..lre. sr,ci, as tree t,d..
NJ -,os.r. and e-r,rfinr' MO. and nov, tl,cl,
tE,. .-.fi,,,. r,,,-;,. If fI,..,r i,ckas. -,
So p. ,.,s The .,ao,I. lcrl-yr, that
.,La,ad or,,n. the iorg'cn stalks. and came
bas.y i,I,, with the. d.Lripus odor Cr hen
! roasF o,I ,.;.,s,,. Tho last lingering rays
| nftLs ..r,;I,e .nn glanri,,, from the brass
! hr,rlrs ot a solitary bo-scf5,ao shoue through
! i,,n,Lnl.. j., ,ha 6og.,.ap fan IN SAILS face
! Jys;nr, ba. hair with AN or,pg. pecI hue. and
/ .Iow;nr off n,y thread bare q at to bad adj.
ya,.ta,,S-on. of INV arms VIZ, around Sars
yr.ist nv hand restin, on the small of her
bacL.-,Le wa, t,yinr with INV auburn locks
of let black h.Ic-shc was almost gone, and
| | vas ditto. She looked Ike i grasshopper
/ dvinc, with tho b;ccun, and t:.lt like - lud-
- LI,ot -, ,Js.b hoU ..SoI ..
slvsI in q voice musical as tie notes of a
J,;r,, s,ra,, IN yo,, bay.. ,ne9n She tnrn.
/ Il her e,es baaye'.,,orl clasn.d me bv the
/ b.rJ L.d an ,,t,.,.l, of th, bravcs and blind
,targcrs and with = sicb that drey her
! sb",..,trings 10 her palate said .Yes." She
! ave cIe.,r out then. and souatted in mylap-
/ She ,..,.,.,cr..oeJ. and i curdumixed and
| suspeuders. and her breath smelt Of onions
! which she had eaten the week before. Vel,
| TO make a long story short, she set the day
anc we Practiced TOR four weeks every nl2h'
how We would walk INTO the room TO pe maj, ,
rIed. TIL we got 50 we could walk rs sr'cciu'
( as two Muscovic ducks. Inc hIgh'. lhe
company ana the minister came, 'he S'Gi'"t,
was gwen, ana arm a"d arm we marched
through the crowded haiI. we were n>l en-
| terlng the parlor dpor, wren uo"h went
! slap on the OH cloth, ruilng Sai aitcr me-
Some cussed ieiioW had dFoi pea Daha,I
skin on the iioor, and 1t iloore0 me. SP'i'
an awful hole IN my caSsineres ri9bt rndeT
my dress co t-tal- 1t was 100 ia'e 10 DlcH
out, so c!apped my hand over II, we march",'
III and were splced, ana taxing 4 seat,
watched The kissing IN oflGe Creri'tioh. my
grOOmSIpal was tgnt. ana ne EiSSSu fltr III l