Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1865-10-28

| ing salute as 1t he had never declared
my darling little pet, cannot live the
day out without your goodbye kiss rest
ing on my lips" The great moustached
brute!
When We were first married, and he
staid home o'nights he never snored. He
slept as calm and quietly as sleeps the
weared traveller after long days jour
ney. But as he grew Indifferent to me,
and as his absence from home of evenings
became longer, be began to snore. Where
be learned it / don't know. Louder and
louder, and more disgusting that abomin-
able somnambuic noise increased as the
months passed on, until just before re.
formed him, the awful sound became little
less than series of spasmodic snorts,
dasso profundo nasel shrieks, and vocal
roars, as if bis voice were being torn out
| by the roots.
Despite all my efforts, my costly arrang
ed tea>table, the lucious tit.bits of the
luxuries of the season, which | placed
temptingly upon the snowy cloth, the
beautifully embroidered slippers, and the
dressing gown | presented bin with on
our first Christmas day, he fell into strange
ways, and at last came home continually
in state Of beastly intoxication.
At first he told me his absence was
caused by meetings al his lodge. He be-
longed to the Masons-so he said | be
lieved him then; bat when the lodge got
to holding pro'racted meetings every night
he coming home looking as If he had been
drawn through knot.hole, jaded, face
flushed, and unsteady as to gait, with a
card Of Miss Somebody in his coat pocket
Il began to have my doubts about the
lodge, and so expressed myself. His DULY
reply wss-"Mrs.--,th there are more
lodges than one go into them ALL"
The next dodg1s were, business, posting
| the books, taking account Of stock, over
work, heavy orders to fill, had to 60 with
country customers.
Then came a new set Of excuses. Cor
one,'s jury suddenly called as a witness !;
charitable meeting waiting 10 the wrong
street for a car-and--well, | couldn t
name the lot of miserable suterfuges to
which he at last resor,ed.
was neglected To be sure, | had
enough to eat and drink and wear; bu, as
you are we'll aware, a married woman
wants more than victuals and clothes to
make her happy. When a husband casts
away his wife as he would squeezed
lemon, it is time for woman to rise, as
sumo power, though she hath it not,
and 20 at him, hammer and tongs, until
he quails, covers, and submits to be what
he ought, domestic convenience-a lay
figure whose joints, drapery and entire
expression shall be subject to the caprice
of bis wife.
If the young lady who is reading this
and perhaps casting aside these crumbs
of advice as being stale and dry, and dis
tasteful to her moral palate, and who Is
yearning to possess a husband-could see
into the dead future Of her conjugal life
behold the handsome idol Of her atfec-
lions slumbering, his mouth wide open.
like the jaws of an old fashioned rat. trap
bis hair pulled in tangled masses over his
head, see his clothing scattered all over
the room, overlooked by pair of great
boots, with all his snoring and cultural
undertaking; if .hc should catch a
scent Of bis whisky laden breath; hear
him cursing at the coffee, anathe
the biscuit, and sending to everlasting
Perdision the meat, and finding fault
about everything with his wife--shc would
not leap mp so quickly, nor run so enthu-
siastically when she hears her favored
lovers voice demanding an interview.
/ think if were to become widow
and be compelled, by the force of cireum-
stances, or the yearnings of woman's
""s~'Si ~ '''y SHOOoe u
fat mana three hundred FOUNDER
Never. oh never, a lean man. They are
these lean Unexpectedly frigbtful in
their little peccadiloes and delnquencies
1t is the fat and unc,ious dog that lays
abou. the house and never goes abroad
II your gaunt, lean, yellow dog that des.
pises home, always Dissatisfied and kee rs
himself thin as u rail by his constant
wanderings from home.
Arc:a > lean husband. ladies, aid a5ooye
ALL avoid one who, in his addition to lean
ness, expresses devotion to temperance.
My husband was grea. on temperance
while counting me, out he fell from grace
very soon after. a... .aaa" ..#:.#..:.
| Marry . fat man. They are too ipdol-