The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1865-06-16
F0ILING A RIVAL.

"Ihe crltter loves me- | know she loves me -
SAID Jonathan Doubikins, as he sat upon the
cornfield fence, meditating on the course of his
true love, that was running Just as Shakespeare
always said it did-rather roughly. eff Sukey
Peabody has taken i shine to that gawky, long
shanked, stammerIn' shy critter Gusset, jusC
cause he's city fellur, she ant the gu | took
her for-thats sartin. mol lis the old folks
darn their ugly picturs. Old Miss Peabody was
alters dreadful hisaiusin' critter, full of big
notions. and the old mans q regular sofihead,
driven about by his wife jest as our old one-eyed
rooster is drove about by our cantankerops five
toed Dorkin hen. But if | don't spie his fun
my name aint Jonathan. Tn gou down to
the city by the railroad next week. and when
l come back-wake snakes! that's ALL"
The above soliloquy may serve to give the
reader some slight idea of the 'lay of the land"
in the pleasant rustic village where the speaker
resided.
Mr.. jonathan DouOi}sins was a young farm
er, we'll TO do in the world, and locking out fer
a wife, and hal leen paying his addresses TO
Miss Susan Peabody, OF that iik, with fair
prospect OF success, when a city acquaintance
Of the Peabodys, one Mr.. Cornelius Gusset, who
kept retail dry goods shop IT. Hanover street,
Boston, had suddenly made his appearance in
the field, and had commenced the ''cuttiug out"
game. Dazzled with the prospect Of becoming
gentlenans wife, and pestered with the i'm
portunities of her aspiring mama, the village
beauty had begun to W2ger, when her old lover
determined on a last and bold stroke TO foil his
rival He went to the city and returned. Of
his business there he had said nothing, not even
to pumping maiden aunt who kept house for
him. He went not near the Peabody's, bat la
bored in his e0rnfeld, patiently awaiting the re-
suit Of his Vaccinations.
The next day, Mr.. Gusset was with the old
folks and their daughter in the best room of the
Peabody mansion, chatting as pleasantly as may
be when the door opened and in rushed very
dirty and furious Irish woman.
/ us it there ye are, Mister Cornelius! !" she
/ screamed. addressing the astonished Gusset.-
/ oCome out of that before fetch ye, ye spalpeen
/ Is that what ye promised me afore the praste,
/ ye haythen nagur? Runnin away from me and
/ the children, forsakin' yer lawful welded wife,
and runniu' after the Yankee gals, ye infdel I"
''Woman, there must be some mistake here"
stammered Gusset, taken all aback by this
! charge.
| "Dvi a bit of a mistake, ye sarpint. 0,
wirra wirra! was it for the likes of ye I sack
ed little Dinnis McCarty, Who loved the ground
throd on, and all bekase ye promised to make
/ q lady Of me, We dirty thief of the worTUld
Win ye come along to the railroad station, where
| | left little Patrick, because ne was too sick
j wild the small pOx to come any fGrder, or viii
We wait ill l drag ye?"
| "Go--go-along,' gasPad Gusseti ''go-and
! Iii follow you."
! He thought i: best to temporize.
! ~ Civ ye TN minits," said the yirago. "If
ye aint there, its my cuzzin, Mr.. Thaddy Null
erudlory, will be afther ye, We thief" And aweY
/ went this 'suubiiden guest"
| Mr. Gusset was yet engaged in stammering
! out a denial OF all knowledge of the virag0,
wher the paTIor door opened again, and little
! black-eyed, hatchct- faced woman, in a Aashy
/ sill, gown, and a cap with many ribbons perch
: ed on the top of her head, invaded the sanctity
Of the parlor.
as he here ?" she cried, in decided French
accent Then she added with a scream, All /!
| NOR Den! is roila. Zere he is Traitre, mon
star Vat fer you run away from me dis two
/ tree years / navarro see you, navaire, and M
/ heart broke yer bad entirely"
! eWho are You cried Gusset, his eyes start
| inc out OF his head, and shvering from head to
| foot.
! sHe asks who an O, ladies! O, you yer
respcotable old geatIehomme hear vat he
| ask ? Who l am, peyfae! OF Tm your wife !"
| 81 never saw you 'fore-s' help me Bob!
cried Gusset, energeticallY.
| "Don'tyou swear!'' said Deacon Peabody. ''Ef
| you dc, I'll kick you into fits by goIiy iwon't
| hev no profane or vulgar language in my house."
%, bless you bless you respectable Old man.
| Tell hin he must come Viz me. Tel him have
| spoke to Ze constable. lel him so0S inter-
ruptcd her utterance,
| ats a pesky bad businessp said the dea-
| con, chatting with unwonted ire. "Gus5et,
you're a rascal"
sTake care, Deacon Peabody, take care, said
| the unfortunate shopkeeper.
4 remarked you was a rascal, Gusset, You've
gone and married two wives, and that ere's fiat
burglary, eff know enything 'beoat the Revised
Statoots."
'"Two wives y ghrieked the French woman.
"Haf dozen, for aught know to the con-
trary y said the deacon. ''Now you clear out
of my house, go way to the station, and clear
out into Boston. I won't hev nothing more to
do with you"
''But Deacon hear me-
'EI don't want to hear ye, ye serpint!" cried
the deacon, stopping his ears with his hands
| "Marryin two wives and comm courtin athird.
G., long! Clear out
Even Mrs. Peabody, who was inclined to put
in a word for the culprit, was silenced. Susan
turned from him in horror, and in utter despair
he fed to the railway station, hotly pursued by
the cIamorous and indignant French woman.
I. That same afternoon, rs Miss Susan peabody
was walking toward the village, she was over
| taken by Mr. Jonathan Doublkins, dressed in
his best, and driving his fast going horse before
his Sunday-go-to- meeting chaise. He reined up
and accosted her
'Hallo, Suke Get in and take ride?
"Don't keer if do, Jonathan" replied the
vn1r,c lady. accenling the profered seat.