Evansville daily journal. (Evansville, Ind.) 1863-1866, 1865-06-08

QUALIFEcATIoxs oF A Loc1L,-George
Harding, Who comes as near filing the
bill IS any man We know. dravTth FOL.
lowing truthful sketch OF "ys Local
Editor"
IL 10 easy enough to be . LocAl--iI
you only think so--bnt some speciAi
qualifications are essential TO success
For the enlightenment Of young men,
who have an itching that way, We viii
| ennumerate some OF the indispensable
virtues, without which success Is impos-
sible. A good Local must combine the
loquecity of maybe with the impu-
| dence Of the ID He must be a walk
ing enolyciopedia of useful knowledge.
He must know how 10 time . horse race,
Raf cock, teach 8 Sunday school,
preach eFeditsble sermon, run 9 saw
mill, keep q hotel, turn . double sum
mersault, and brew q whisky punch. He
must be up 70 thing or two in political
economy, and Gu fat in the matter of
cooking beanz On the trail OF mystic
rious items he muet be q veritable
/, alenth-hOund. His hide mnst be ike
that of rhinoceros. he must be iasen-
sible to the cruelist znuhs, and manifest
no sense of anger when he is kicked
down stairs he must throw modesty
] to the dogs, and let his tiger howl But
above all be must be an adept at the art
Of putting. The nearer he approaches
10 the condition Of blacksmiths bell
lows, the better be viii succeed. BE
! must be ready at oil times to say some
| thing funny in regard to Smiths gro
4 Gerry, or to Surround Miss Flounce's mil
linery establishment,wish sIhalo Of glow
ing adjectiYes. He must be enthusiast
= tic on the subject Of hams, verbose In
extolling hardware, and highly imsgi.
native in the matter Of dry goods. he
must look pleased when invited to walk
! | sixteen squares through the broiliug sun
to write ak line puf for lahor-savine
a churn, or patent washing machine
rs He must feel grateful when invited &c
dine ct the Dogsnose Hotel, and write q
. glowing account Of the excellence OF the
Il hash and durability Of the beef-stesk
. II be feels any sense Of humiliation il
4 sitting down 70 festive gathering, OF
!, the occasion of the presentation Of .
u sword 10 CsptaiR Sandopanzy, or 9 Sc
D. of silver service to horse inspector, b
.. must smother il, and revenge himself OF
i the champagne end cigars He mus
- affect to believe that be Is invited in |
purely social way, and not for the SAX
r Of having him write good account o
v the ceremonies, with three columns o
= speeches in full, for the next morning
paper. If be Gags in bis description o
~ Hodges premium bull, or let's down
% in writing mp the oil indications o.
er ShoTendyke'a farm, he must take il kind
IA ly when he 10 reproEed for his shor.
\ cominga In the matter OF shows th
= Local must be- always brilliant VI
b must talk learnedly Of panorama, viii
% q liberal admixture Of knowing words
N such as warmth" stone" "foreshorten
: ing" ''high lights" foreground" "per
: spective, &c; be must be "heavy" Of
% concerts, with @ capacity TO appreciate
e. Miss Sqnawk's execution of dificnl
10 feAts IN the upper register" he mns
Ie be eestatic in praise Of doubls-heade'
d calves and eloquent in behalf Of the f.
., women and living skeletonA
If All this, and more, IL takes 20 be
10 Local Saving wood is equally IS hor
- 0rahle, more independent, and easier