Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1865-08-11

.0Rlo Statesrrap,
[From All The Year Round.l
PATTY'S TEA-PARTIES.

scRobert, am disgusted with her."
"Why, Patty? She is very pretty"
81 allow she is pretty"
Sand elegant"
"Yes, she is elegant"
Sand dresses beautifully"
beautifully! Is it not sin and shame
to spend the money she must spend Oh her
dress?"
'Ah, that is it, Patty. You are angry
because she is always finer than you."
..Now, Robert! as for that, can be as
fine as she, if chose to be wicked and run
you into debt; moreover, / would not be as
fine. fiatter myself have better TASTE"
"You have been flattering yourself a good
deal of late, Patty"
Sand why not? When person comes
and settles herself down here amongst US
all, stranger, with few introductions,
and begins to lay down the law, and pre-
tend to teach us what we are to do, to say,
to think-'tis high time to hatter oneself.
She had the audacity to remark upon the
Hall-upon PET" -...
II have heard you wish that the Hall was
whitewashed, and that Pet would some
times think of something else than her
baby" ..
"Robert if you are going to defend that
woman, have done with you. When am
angry, too-all for you"
'For me am not in love with the wild
ow."
''The widow! Pray, pray, Robert, do not
adopt the vulgar habit of calling her 'the
widow am sick of hearing such sacred
name applied to her, when you know il the
tongs had coat on, she would make eyes
at it,"
81 dare say, Patty, you were my widow,
you would act very differently"
AN IlNh nukt, H..
l know, of course, what would be the first
thing should do: if were Roberts wild
ow, | should 60 out of my mind. Ofcourse,
if went out of my mind, should not be
answerable for anything did-though l
feel pretty sure, if / was the maddest wo-
man living, or widow, l should not act as
Mrs. Arundel does"
"Don't cry, Patty, you shall never be my
widow, if can help it,"
"Of course not, Robert; but | really think
her name of Arundel is assumed. What
right has she to call herself by so grand a
name?"
my dear Patty, she must have name
You will not let me call her the widow,
and if you forbid me calling her Mrs. Arun-
del, whatam l to do?"
"Oh! Robert, don't veX me, when | am so
unhappy-and so you ought to be-she
will marry your brother in spite OF every
thing, and / shall have to love as a sister
in-law woman despise and dislike"
fortunately the symptoms are all onher
side. / see none on his"
THAT is very true; but how can you tell
what is going on in your brothers mind p
Every day he appears to me to get more
and more in the Clouds" ...
"And so further away from Mrs. Arun-
del; as, according to- your opinion, she is
hastaninU Q fast thn other wpVS
"Extremes meet, in the end, Robert"
''True, Patty. / will keep my eye on
Erasmus, whenever the little wid-when-
ever Mrs. Arun-what may l call her, Pat
typ" .,..-.. ..., ..' ....
But I ran away. was not going to let
Robert tease me any more.
And such good reasons, too, as l had to
be troubled about this-what shall l call
her? l hope l am above calling people
names behind their backs, so will say per-
son-I was troubled about this person"
Robert has brother-being the eldest, of
course he has the estate-and lives six miles
from us. But though he has the estate, and
need do nothing but amuse himself just as
he likes all day. pity him. If he had been
Robert, he would have had to work, and go
out into the world and look about him, and
see things in asensible light, and do as 9TH
er people did. .- -.... ... n. s,..-
But because he had nothing to do but en-
| JOY himself, he must needs enjoy himself
after very odd fashion. Halt his life he
had buried himself among mummies, a
great deal of his time was spent in his lab
Oratory, the very name of which might
lead one to suppose he was doing something
| in it, whereas, a nasty smell, smoke, and
| dirt, are the end of all his experiments.
| Sometimes he spent whole nights in his
telescope tower, and would fly over to US,
| in joyful spirits, to say that he had seen Ju-
| pliers moons or Saturn's rings. .
| What good were Jupiter's moons to us?
Why could not Jupiter be content with our
| moon, instead of having private ones of
| his own? And why was 1t necessary for
| Saturn to have airing, when he could not be
married anyhow, as | understood?
| For my part am not clever, and 1 never
| pretended to be clever. don't deny that
| sometimes | am obliged to use dictionary,
especially when l want to write word
with sic" in it.
| But to be as clever as Roberts brother
| Erasmus was being too clever by great
deal, would rather have been myself
even if my spelling was much worse than
| 1t happened to be. In fact / consider Rob-
ert much more clever than Erasmus,
though the latter is an IL. d. If Eras-
mus has the right to put LII. d. after his
name I'm sure Robert might use the letters
d. D. S., "dearest darling Solomon"
However, it is no use my railing in this
! fashion. 1 must behave myself, though |
| never felt so ill-tempered in all my life, for
| ] am very fond of Erasmus, poor dear,
| though he never has the leasti idea of what
| he is about. So unlike Robert. ..l-''''
Good gracious me! here am worse than
ever Pet has been frightening me out OF
my wits; she says, smiling, too (most heart
less of you, Pet, said), "Mrs. Arundel will
be Mrs. Doctor Erasmus before the month
Is out. / met them walking together Just
now as cozy as lovers" a1. 8N1'S oidN -
! have forced myself to be very uncivil
to Erasmus. faaot7 nj 9gp3gnu' ri gHif I'
"Erasmus," said. (By the way, what a
name is Erasmus; one cannot halve It. or
shorten it, or lengthen it, or make ANYTHING
of it but its own mouthful. Robert is a good
deal to say when one is in a hurry, but I
don't mind in confessing that, in private, /
have called Robert Bob and Bobby. Now
with Erasmus, there is only .'Rassy, " which is
enough to draw ones teeth to say, or 'sMus-
sy," and really to pronounce that word
strongly, would not be altogether civil to
Erasmus, 1t is too suggestive.) Well,to 20 on.
Erasmus" Isaid, ado you think Jupiter
has got any more. moons ready for you 10
look at, or don't you think it time to invent
anew light to ontblaze the magnesianp'' q o
WANTED gently to give him hint to 90
home. Six miles between him and Mrs.
Arundel would be almost as good as Six
hundred, provided he was star-gazing or
bottle dabbling and he was certain to do
either one or the other, when there.
! 500 hOmaf PATTY Il aIwava thinL y,,uca1 9