The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1865-01-27
Joe BOWERS, WEDDING.


OF the muttering of enemies. He Is, per
haps, the most devoted man to law in all
creation, and has his head so full of what
lie terms judicial talk" that he not un,
frequently finds himself making learned
charges and passing sentences outside
the court room.
On recent occasion, the judge was
called on to exercise the power and au-
thority III him vested" i'll the case Of a
Young couple who desired wedlOck. OF
course he consented to perform the pleas
ant duty, aud Oh the appointed evening
was promptly on hand at the hour at
which the affair was to come OFT. The
room was crowded with the beauty and
fashion of the town, and none looked
more dignihed and happy than the Judge
himself, who was dressed within an inch
or his life.
II is customary, on occasions OF the
Kind referred to, for the good folks OF the
mountain towns to pass around the wine
quite freely, TO their everlasting credit;
ne will add, they consider ii no harm
tor one 10 manifest his interest in the
JOYOUS event by getting lively The
Judge is all ardent admirer of the fan
sex, having in the course Of his life led
the third one to the alter To Use his
own language, lie is u great believer IN
weddings" aud that he should becOiue 4
little mellow amid the glorious scenes III
the evening was not to be wondered at
by those who knew him intimately He
had the weakness Ofall good judgcs-hr
would take his tod
The wine had been passed round and
round and round the music had ceased;
the time fol making Joseph Bowers and
Nancy Harkens one had arrived Every
heart throbbed with the most delightful
emotions. The young gentlemen desired
TO know how he would stand 1t, and the
Young ladies were anxious to see how
Nancy would suffer the anxious shock
Others, again, who had closely observed
the turn of affairs during the evening,
fixed their attention upon the Judge, to
see how he would come ont OF the
scTape.
At length the trying moment was am
nounced; the Judge rose very cautiously
from the chair which he occupied in one
corner of the room, and, casting his eyes
over the company, he singled out the
Sheriff Of the county, who was present as
an invited guest. The Judge had just
ilnbibed enough to make him forget the
nature of his business. He was full of
his judicial talk and required nothing
but the presence Of the Sheriff TO start
him. Looking sternly at that officer, he
shouted
"Mr Sheriff, opon the court, and call
to order"
A general twitter followed this com
mand, in the midst of which the Sheriff
took the court by the ann, and led
him to his seat i'll the corner, at the same
time Informing the august parsonage Ut
the mistake.
Everything now bid fair for Pheasant
and sudden termination OF the affair, UNI
til another annoyance, which was moth
ing else than the absence of the BRIDE
groom, was observed. 1t turned out that
he had Just stepped across the street to
Join his friends i'll a parting drink; but
before his return some cool-blooded wag
had whispered into the ear of our old
fogy the cause ef the delay of the pro-
ceedings" Instantly the chain iii the
corner moved, and in that direction all
eyes were fixed.
Sheriff" slowly bawlcd TIE Judge,
bring Joe into the court on supenar,'
(the Judge had his own way of prOnounc-
ING the world; then addressing the bride
who had stood in the foreground and
hung her head in deep confusion, he add
ed: Il s'pose you are the PLAINTIFF Well,
don't take on. Innocence and virtue viii
be protected in this here court"
This was the saddest blunder OF all
The Judge was again made to see his
mistake, and would have been consider
ably set back, had it not been for a cor
receive in the shape of forty drops Of
the critter," which he instantly applied
In a few moments all was ready in
right down earnest. The bridegroom
had arrived full of joy. The excitement
was intense He evidently felt every
inch q judge.
"J-J-o-o Blowers" commenced the
man of law, in that distressing style of
speech with which he was invariably
troubled when under the influence OF
liquor, "J-J-o-o Blowers, stand UP
Have you anything to s-s-ay why s-s-Sen-
tence-"
"Stop, stop, stop, Judge" shouted the
Sheriff, from the back part of the room,
"you are not going to hang the man, but
marry him"
The Judge drew a long breath and
blinked rapidly, but stood his ground
we'll. Recovering himself, he proceed
ed
J-J-o-o B-B-o-w-e-r-s, do y-you t-t-take
Nancy H-Harkens for y-your wife. so help
You God!"
This was tolerablc effort. and Joe
nodded assent.
INFANCY HarkenS. it now remains tul
Ne C.Court to-
Here the sheriff again interrupted the
Judge, reminding him of the real bust
ness of the evening.
Miss INFANCY" resumed the Judge
after being set Alright, "d7d-do y-y-you
ttake Joe Blowers for husband Ito
the best of your knowledge and belief, OF
DIDO you not!"
"You can bet TWILL" softly answered
the light hearted Nancy.
The Judge then took the hands OF the
happy couple, and joining them. wound
up as follows:
"It now remains for this h-he7e C-Court
to pronounce you Joe Blowers and
y-you Nancy Harkens, man and wife and
There the Judge paused TO wipe the