Rutland weekly herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1859-1877, 1865-12-21

the experience OF "Brlck fomeFy OF the
Lacrosse Democrat, and think our read
ers will thank us for allowing them TO
laugh with us.
Fright beneath one OF our windows,
from morn till midnight, we see young
STEERS aud oldstcrs twisting their legs IN
all conceivable shapes. We cannot pick
mn a paper but an article on skating |
meets oureyes. Everybody says itsIun, |
and that's all everybody knows about II,
for we have tried IL, Last night about
gas time, after reading glowing ue,
scrlption of life on skates, we prepared
for our first attempt, and sailed iorth
to loin the merry crowd, We had on
pair of stoga boots, trousers tucked in
side. a Robert tailed coat and u While
hat. We went down to the ice, ana gave
a boy two shillings in shinpIaSterS lor
the use of his implements
We, with the assistance OF menu,
fixed on the skates, and stood erect Us
BARRIERS pole. We have confidence, even
as Peters faith.
Encouraged at the sight OF some Ia
dies on the bridge looking at the skaters
we struck out. A slant to the rlght
with the right foot-a slant to the lelt,
and lust then we saw something on the
ice and stopped over to pick 1t up On
our feet again-two slants to the right
and one to the left, accompanied with
loss of confidence. Another stride with
the left foot, and we sat down with fear
full rapldity, very little, if any elegance
What q set down it was, for we made
dent in the ice not unlike Connecticut
butter bowl! Just then one OF the la
dies remarked-'Oh, Mary, look, that
Teller with the white hat amt got his
skates on the right place = Duo,
thought we. Just then ragged little
devil sung out as he passed us HeHo'c
old Timber leqs, and we rose suddenly ana
nut after him. Three slides to the right
two to the left, and away went our
| legs-one to the east, and the other 10
| the west, causing an immense assure IN
| our pants. and another picture OF put
| ter trav in the cold-oh ior coA}-ice .
| Then the lady we know she was one by
! the remark she madG-agaln Sp0se anu
said-'Oh, look, Mary that chap WIN
the white hat has sat down on his hana-
kerchief.' We rose about as gracefully
as a saw-hOrse when Mary said, Guess
faint a handkerchief Jane,-and Mary
was right, it wasn't Il handkerchiet-not
a bit Of it. Just then 4 trieRd came
along and plofered his coat tail as
tstpadier,' We accepted the continuation
of his garment, and up the river we went
about ten rods, when a shy to the rlght
by the leader caused US, the wheel horse,
to shoot off on tangent, heels up But
the ice is rery cold, this season.
We tried it again. A glide one way
a glide and half the other, "heh
'whack came our bump OF philopfoSeni-
itiyeness on the ice, and We saw mil
lion of stars dancing around our eyes,
like ballet girls at the BoWery theatre
How that shock went through our sys-
tenn. and up and down our spinal col
umn. Lightning could not have cork
screwed If down a creased sapling with
greater speed and more exhilaratlng
effect Boarding house butter nor
warrantee deed, could have stuck closer
| than VIC did--and dozen ladies looking
| at us-and our fissured pants.
'Hellow, old cock sang out that rag
ced imp again, and We were helpless
| Saa.A W. got up and made another trial
with better success. Perhaps we had
skated, in our peculiar style, nfteen ieet
when laundering chap came up behind
and we sat down with our tired head
pillOwcd in his lap-and he swearing 81
us. when it was his own fault HOW
cold the ice was there too! Every Spo'
where we made our debut on the ice
how cold it was Our bear skin drawers
were no protection at all We triet
again, for the papers all say its tgn, AM
down came our Roman Grecian nose, OF
the cold julep material, and the llttl
drops of crimson ran down our shir
bosom on the cold ice. Once more W
tried skatipg-made for the shore-sa
down and counted damages.
; Two shillings thrown away. SeYe
lateral and one 'fronteral bumps. on
Immense fissure in as handsome pair
: ten dollar cassimeres as ever man pt
his legs In. One rupture on the knt
extending to the bone. Four buttor
- from our vest, q 'fragmented' WatC
). crystal, and back-ache big enough
divide among the children Of Israel.
. you catch us ON the smooth, glossy, chi
\ ~, freezing, treacherous, deceitful, sli
q perry and slip-uppery ice again you
y know it. If any one ever hears of Of
, skating again, they will please draw c
q us at sight for the bivalveS and accor
panying documents. We have &
= through skating. It's humbug. L
vexation of spirit, of business, of hes
= and tearer of trousers It's hea
. pumping, back-aching, leg-wearing, da
gerous institution, and we warn Poop
> against skating. We tried t. and shar
be able to walk for montl. Skatir
q clubs are humbug, and all the rascal
% youngsters want to get ladies at it, tn
= they may see--if they too, don't say I'll
" ice is dreadful coldr It's nothing
y US, but the ladies will do well to |
: skates alone, unless they sre young
- and more elastic than we are Oh no
~ cold the ice is-sre e@. feel ayef -
ID "GooD. BYE OLD ARM I'm the hosp
4 i T.