Ashtabula weekly telegraph. [volume] (Ashtabula, Ohio) 1853-1873, 1865-04-22
The Planet we Live on.

Ihe ''fal N OF he EhfLn, lhclOSeQ IN
I Srngfence Of DIR, turns out 10 he much
smole valuable piece of real estate than
Y our progonitoFs supposed it TO be. Nay,
! even our papss had no idea twenty years
3ago that we, their sons, were born to such
I u gocdly inheritance. We don't know
4 what wus the estimated valne Of the globe
sixteen or seventeen years ago, but il has
scar,ainly appreciated several hnndred per
scent within that lime. California began
10 feast cur eyes with its riches in l849,
gand Australia soon follow Cd suit with its
golden dowry. F.om that time 10 this
MADAME Terra has Indeed been Madame
Bountiful, and what further she may
sheve in store for her en- etpriciug fam
sily it is in vain 10 attempt 10 guess -
! We have no. hing to gnide us in our sur
2mises save the lamp Of experience end
Sthal for several years past has been such
an out and out lamp OF Aladdin that, il we
swcre to Judge of th future by the past,
he next generation will enjoy ell the Luxury
and MT GU fcerce attributed by Fenelous to
slbe famous land of Cocaigne.
We must give up calling wealthy people
Il he upper crust; it is the lower crust fel.
lows that afe making fortunes Oar re
$pec,ed ancestors merely cultivated the
surfaces of the earh We gather our golden
shurvest frt m the interior The moe musi
shenctforlh be our totem" The road TO
sriches is bore Instead Of putting our
sshouldels 10 the wheel we rely on The
sshaf Facilis decensus arsrni must be
aexpupged from our proyerbial philosophy, ,
sand re mast say instead, 1t is easy descen'
Sdng inlo we, lth. Poor men in Pennsylva
4 MA make deep holes in the earthj and, like
the geni OF Eastern story, surrounded by
Sa cloud Of inf .mmabls vapor, up comes an
Solpaginous P.utus through ever orifce IL
lis very nco Would that our lot had been
gcse in greasy Curbondsle or KEROSENE
! sScrsnIon. .'a H-.
We have exported twenty three millions
aof gallons Of petroleum 10 Europe within
"a yenr Thuk Of that Master Brook
Syeily we are burning and o sAining light
aamcrg the nations Widows Of the world.
sbriDg hitler your cruises; we cen fill them
4 Virgins who wish to keep your lamps
q trimmed and ign,ed, We can supply yon
4 with tho necessary combustiblp. The dark
can never moro return; oil is too
gplpnliful for that. Leviatbpn bide thy d.
diminished head; contents are Of small cJn
Ssequeuce. The earth takes the slime on;
sol hs s-'en, and spermaceti is no logger he
ssovereign'st thing in the world. Weep
.Nautucket, and lay mp thy chips in ordiua-
sry, Tdrn thy harpoons into picks aud au.
sgurs, ana rroceed to psrfora'e. Perchance
4urdcr tLo.e barren rocls Of thine lies more
4 '.le' than there is in The whales o. the sea
4 lie your shiLboleth he there she spouts!
b Tut let i, be spoken OF the greasy earth
Nuo, OF tie monsters of the dep.
81 The lales, news is that signs Of petro
lenm have been discovered al uoboken AM
Hali along the Highlands 10 Pe mont. :
HPfodigo Gus! We ehiuk of sinking a vel
n cur sub cellar. Ii smells very strong .
carbnret,ed hydrogen. 1t may proceed
Htrom leak in the gss-pipp. but then again
it may not. se
Seriously speaking. This sudden access
Eof material wealth comes in a very nick oI
X lime II we may use the word Nick 10 con
Hnecting with such godsend 'i'" -
"a 1t is all nonsense to call this planet tht
Hsolid earth; it is simply an immense hollow
5sphere filled with oil worh--unmanufac
q ured fifty cents a gallon. In the old UorlC
& hey can't geu'I at il, however. the crust o.
Slhe earth being thickest on that side. W,
hare ell made men--Lot doubt of il. lie
us keep pegging away at the deposit
H Let us dig aud enjoy our Oleum eam dig
Entails IN. Y. Sunday times