The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1865-09-14

The higher an ass holds his head the
palmer we can see his ears:
1t is better to sleep with an empty
stomach than to lie awake with an accus-
ing conscience.
Better dog who works,
| Than lion who shirks.
Poverty is bully if you are afraid of it,
but it is good n4tured enough if you meet it
like man.
Divide and conquer is maxim fit;
| Unite and lead is a much finer wit.
What did Lot do when his wife was
turned into pillar of salt? Took fresh
one, Of course.
| Fair opp ortunities are swift to go:
| But in returning they are, all, how slow!
! Unrighteous gain has destroyed millions;
but has never made one man permanently
prosperous and happy.
Two hard things First to talk of your
self without being vain; second, to talk
Of others without SANDER.
| The Oldest piece of furniture is the null
| tiplicaton table 1t was constructed
more than thousand years ago, AMI is as
good as new.
Parent" said solemn lecturer, ''you
may have children; or if not, your dau Oh
tiers may have"
-Four thousand pounds of lobster meat
are put into cans daily at certain estab-
lishment; this shows how much the people
can, if they only will.
! What is the difference between stabbing
man and killing hog? One is assault
ing with intent to kill and the other is
killing with intent to salt
Many persons look upon themselves as
struggling to benefit the world, when, III
fact the world looks upon them as only
struggling to benefit themselves.
When man marries widow, he is
bound to give up moking and chewing
lfshe gives up her weeds for him he should,
of course, give up the weed for her.
An army surgeon in Arkansas tried to
hire young. barefooted, coatleSs native as
an errsnd hoy. The astonished lad ex-
cIaimedS Work! Why l can't work:
| I'm white,
tiourshing and estimable charitable
society i'll a neighboring city is called the
''Widow's Wood Society,"" But is it posi-
ble that there are any widows in that city
who wouldn't?
81 mourn for my bleeding country" said
a certain army contractor to General Sheri-
dan. so you ought, you scoundrel,' re
piled Sheridan, ''for nobody has bled her
moue than you have"
/ A toast at an Irish society's dinner at
! Cincinnati: 'Heres to the President of the
society, Patrick O. Rafferty,, and may he live
to cat the hen that scratches over his
grave"
If this world were our abiding place, We
might complain that it makes our bed SO
hard; but it is only our night quarters on a
journey, and who can expect home
comforts?
AUGUST
Augustine reaper cieaves his way
| Through golden waves at break OF day
Or on bis wagon piled with corn,
4 sn"set, home Is proudly borne
An old Yorkshirenan being Informed by
a betting acquaintance that his friend the
Captain" would obligingly hold the stakes
the canny Nortnener replied, ''Ay ay, that's
all very well, but who's t. hauld t. captain?
"The whole is greater than a part y
No such thing. | have known few lead
ing editors in my time. and have generally
found that part is deemed of consider
able more Importance than the complete.
ness of the whole
An impatient boy waiting for the grist
said to the miller: 81 could eat the meal
as fast as the mill grinds it." "How long
could you do so?" inquired the Miller
TIL | starved to DEATH" was the sarcas
tic reply.
A punctual man is very rarely poor
man, and never a man of doubtful credit
His small accounts are frequently settled, anC
he never meets with difficulty in raising
money to pay large demands. Small debts
neglected, ruin credit, and when man has
lost that, he will find himself at the bottom
of hill he cannot ascend.