American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1865-08-16
A Yankee Trick.

invented, cute Massachusetts, Yankee
was one day travelling in stage in the
State of Connecticut. The passengers
stopped for breakfast at place where the
landlord was noted for his parsimony !;
and it was strong ly suspected that he paid
the driver to hurry off the stage before
the passengers could eat half meal, in
order to save his victuals. The Yankee
heard this talk, and he sat down to break
fast with the determination to eat his
moneys worth whether the stage left him
or not. While, therefore, the rest of the
passengers were boiling their victuals at
the greatest possible haste, the Massa-
chusetts man took his time The passen-
gers had scarcely finished cup of cof-
fee, and ate two or three mouthfuls, when
they heard the sound of the horn, and
the DRYER exclaim, "Stage readyp p Up
rise the grumbling passengers, pay their
fifty cents, and take their seats.
"All aboard, gents ?" inquiries the host
One missing" said they.
Proceeding to the dining-room the host
finds our Yankee friend very cody help
ing himself to an immense piece af steak,
the size Of horses lip
You'll be left, sir Stage going to
start 2"
"Waal, L hain't got pothin tew say
agin it !"
"Can't wait, sir; better take your
seat"
"Pll be gaul darned eff dew, nuther,
till I've got my breakfuss ! I've got tew
pay my half dollar, and I'm goin' to
get the vallee omit and eff yew calkalate
l amt yew air mistaken"
SO the stage did start and left the hun
cry New Englander, who continued his
attack of the edibles. Biscuits, coffee
steaks, etc, disappeared rapidly before the
eyes of the astonishcd landlord.
"Say, squire, them there cakes is 'Jou,
east fetch us nutber grist ON EN-. You
(to the waiter nuther cup NV thar ar cof
fee. Pass them eggs. Raise yewre own
pork, squire this is amazin' nice ham
Land bout yeare tolerable cheap, squire
| callate? Don't lay yewre own eggs, dc
ye?" and thus the Yankee kept duizzing
the landlord until he had made hearty
meal.
"Say, squire, now I'm about tew con,
clude payin' my dewours to this table
but if yc'wd jist give me bowl of bread
and milk tew sorter top off with, I'd be
much obleeged tew ye."
So out goes the landlord and waiter for
the bowl, milk and bread, and set them
before the Yankee.
"Spoon, tew, if you please"
But no spoon could be found. Land.
lord was sure he had plenty of silver ones
lying on the tabl le when the stage stop
ped.
"Say dew yew think them passen-
gers is goin' to pay yew for breakfuss
and not git no compensation ?"
"Ahl what do you think any of the
passengers took them ?"
Dew l think No, don't think
but I'm sartin. If they are all as green
as you, about here, I'm goin' tew locate
Immediately and few onst."
The landlord rushes out to the stable,
and starts man off after the stage, which
had gone about three miles. The man
overtakes the stage, aud says something to
the driver in low tone. He immedi-
ately turns back, and on arriving at the
hotel, our Yankee comes out to take his
seat and says =
"HsoW air yey gents? I'm glad tew
see yew back"
"Can you point out the man you think
has the spoons 7" asked the landlord
Pint him out? Sartinly, l ken
Say, squire 1 paid you four ninepences
fpr breakfuss, and l callate l got the
vallee ont You'll end them spoons in
the coffee pot (Which was found to be
the case.