The Wheeling daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1864-1878, 1865-08-14

do the ladies at sensation balls 2 thus:
Mrs. BIS elegant carriage Is driven
by John, broad-shouldered Milesian,
with turnup nose and carrotty hair,
which can't be beat. His coat, vest and
pants are grey cashmere, with q super.
fluffy of brass (washed in gold) buttons.
He wears white kids. On his hat, which
is little fatigued on the left flank, he
wears red rosette. John thinks he is
the best looking coachman in town. He
gets good salary.
Mrs rs double greys are driven
by Solomon, not Jew, but niger with
O mouth like freight depot and q nose
of rectangular shape. He dresses in
green to keep up the style of the house,
and has four rows of pure Germany sill
yer buttons on his coat, He carries a
watch, and Mrs. T. often asks him what
time it is. He often tells her. He wears
a white hat with black Grape. Solo
mon thinks he is the most elegant coach
man in town He gets fair salary.
Mrs C-'s carriage is driven by a
short fellow named Longfellow. He has
but one eye-the other was punched out
several years ago in an ARRAY he had
with one Lord Hardinge in the county of
Tipperary. This short Longfellow wears
a high black hat with gold lace around
it. He dresses in drab, with drab but
tons to match. He never eats meat on
Friday-in public-and never drinks
whisky-without getting into a fight.
He goes one eye on Miss c., who smells
of petroleum and old age. Longfellow
thinks he is the most dashing coachman
in town. Heis. He threw Miss C.. out
of her carriage few days ago, and like
to have dashed her brains out which
wouldn't have made grease spot He
gets decent salary.
MrW.'s teami Is driven by French gen.
tleman, from Cork, named Fish. Fish,
was born in 1885, in the quiet village Of
Squedunk, No. two-twos and a two Ker
dusenhouser street, during the Temporal
~ illness of one of his parents. At an
early stage of his life he was an infant,
and was weaned on whisky, which he
has never touched since out Of the same
kind of vessel. He was formerly a
stone-mSson, and came to this country
from England, via Botany Bay. He dres.
ses in gray clothes, covered with gold
lace and brass buttons. His pants are a
little too short. His hat is beaver
made out Of cat fur, with red and white
rosette He often carries brick in said
chapeau. His habits are very loose, al
though he gets very tight sometimes -
Ho has a bald spot on the top of his head,
but is taking Mrs Winslow's soothing
syrup He thinks there is great deal
of efficaciousness about it. He thinks
he is the most fascinating coachman in
town. He gets liberal salary.
Mr.. r. was here last summer. He is a
CAV customer Sometimes he fights like
tiger, and sometimes he gets drunk
Last summer he left here, owing faro
bank $4,000 Night before last he'went
into the same bauk with 81 900 in cash,
and increased it to $4,000, and stopped
playing. He followed up his success by
getting gloriously drunk, and, late at
night, was put to bed by bis urbane
host. Before retiring, the gambler went
to r. bed, took out his pocketbook, and
distracted 1900, made out receipt for
the amount, and placed it in one of the
sections of the pocketbook, and went to
bed in the same room with Mr.. R. The
next morning the latter gentleman arose
early, and after divers cocktails, com
menced counting his money. Presently
he shouted to his friend: by all that's
good, I've been robbed ~ ooh, / guess
not put you to bed, and locked yon
up" Didn't / make $4,000 last night T!
Yes" said the other well I'm - if
I've got $4,000 here" We'll well, my
deer fellow, don't you recollect paying
me that $4,000 odd that stood over from
last year 2" inquired the gambler No;
good gracious, did | ?" said r "Why,
yes" said the other, "and gave you the
receipt in full, for fear You would not re-
it, and placed it in your wallet"
r. fumbled over his pockot-book for
moment, teok thorefrom piece ofpaper,
pursued it's contents once OF twice, and
fell over Oh his pillow, muttering, Il
always make A. fool of myself when
I'm drunk"
will relate you one more little joke
on four Puritans from the Hub. This
took place on the third floor of the Ocean
house this incoming. These four Puritans
we're out OH what is termed "a lark" last
night. They lambied up stairs and oiled
in this morning at an early hour. About
6 o'clock, one of the gentleman, who be-
longed to. an adjoining room, got up and
skirmished for drink He found whis-
ky and sugar and presently came across
what he took for bitters. He bethought
him to make four stout cocktails, and
wake the boys up. He used whisky and
bitters freely, and made what he sup
posed we're four regular old eye-openers.
he awoke the Puritans, and handed them
their rations. Here's fun," and down
went the cocktails cannot describe
the faces, nor can give you the faintest
idea of the concert of voices which fol-
owed. Twill merely state, however, that
the bittors used was Van Buskirk's fra
orant snzndnnt