Pomeroy weekly telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy, Meigs County, Ohio) 1860-1866, 1865-03-23
Sayings Of Josh Billings.
KISSING CONSIDERED.

'Man waz made tew mourn" so warbled
Burns, "and woman waz made tew kiss" so
MARBLES Billings. One ov theze continents
haz bin alreddy immortalized, and the other I
intend shall be az soon az the Legislator meets
! am not yet lusid how shall bring the mat
ter befoar that honorabel boldly; but do
know how the honorabel boldly feals on the
subject, and how tina will ackt if ever tha hav
good chance To give fertile and golden
opinyun uponkissing in the lump, and kissing
in the detale requires man Nv truth, and sum
experience in tasteing.
IN THE LUMP
Kissing is one ov thoze flu things that IL ea-
zier dun than described, in fack, about the
only way tew describe it well is to do it,well.
1t IL, without doubt, very anshunt enter.
prise; and judging from what we kno ov hu-
man natur in this latitude, it must have struk
Adam as good investment when he fnst dis
kovered hiz wife If Adam didn't kiss Eve
at sight he amt the man take him to be;
and if Eve didn't relish it, it must hav bin be-
kause it want well did There is one thing
about kissingin the lump, different from the
rest ov the fine arts, and that IL, it donft re-
quire emmy edikashun tew dew it, hay even
thort that the more uneddikated it was did
provided it didn't miss the mark) the more
touching it was tew behold. "
But kissing is good deal like eating there
iz not much fun (when person is hungry in
standing by, and see it did bi another fellow,
ifit is did ever so we'll 1t is one of the cheap
les and healthyess luxury ov the seazon, and
don't sho emmy dsposshun tew go out ov fash
ion, and will keep sweet in emmy climate
Upon the whole, if you examin kissing in the
lump closely, you will be led to exclaim Fust,
ly, that it is eazy tew have it did as it IL ham
dy tew dew it. Sekundly, that it is like Cow
pers tea, it cures man without cbrning him;
and Thirdly, it IL a frugal, highly consentra-
ted, and reverend luxury, ~.
IN DETALE
When we cum tew throw oph glittering gen.
eralitys and approach our subjeck in single file,
it is then that the divinitee ov the art seems
to be spotted; and reveals tew US all the shades
ov pomp and sirkumstanze, from the sublime
and tender, clear down to the redikilus and
tuff. Mothers kiss and little babys kiss are
az pure as the utterance ov angels so IL the
artless kiss ov sister Mary and-couzin Fan
NY but there IL one cold, blue, lean kiss,
that ulwas makes me shiver tew see. Two
persons (ov the femail purswashun) who have
witnesst CRATE menny younger and more pull
by daze, meet in sum public phase, and not
having saw each other for "a hours tina kiss
immegiately then tina tork about the weather,
and the young man who preached yesterday,
and then tina kiss immegiately, and tha blush
and laff at what tina sa to each other, and kiss
agin immegiately. a. ,,.;,-
l would not object tew awl this if it want
sich waste ov sweetness on the desert air
l am willing tew be sworn that this kind of
kissing always puts me in mind ov two olde
hints trieing tew strike fire. How different
this from the kotinubial kiss l witnessed laste
mite l knu he was a husband jist got back
from bizzness tower, bi his haste. He passt
me at the korner below, and awl unexpeckted
encountered his wife, and az natral az the bee
tew the flower, tha flu together. There want
emmy thing sentimental about that kiss; thare
want emmy thing kriminal about it 1t rang
out on the air az clear az the challenge ov
perlice ofiicer-it filed whole block .Thare
want mulch preliminary about it neither, for it
smashed so dollar bonnet, and muxed up a
barricade ov edging and frizzled tucker.
It,want the fust one, it was tew well did for
that, 1t want the slipping ov two trembling
lovers, afraid of the echo: it want studyed out
nor stolen, but it waz fulliov honest ripeness
and chastened struggle which made me hank
er for-for, one oph from the same peace
Jist one more remark and i am thru. There
is one kind Of kissing that has alwus been
deemed extra hazardus (on akount of frey
and that is kissing yure nabors wife. Get
ting the wife consent don't seem tew make
the matter emmy the less risky. III -, :.
MoRAL-Don't eat onions during the kissin
season unless yu chew them we'll .,e