Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1865-12-05
Miscellaneous

IN the lump" says Josh, " are useful but
they are not always profitable. The New
4ouudland dog is useful to save children from
drown ing; but you lave to have n pond of
water and children running about kareless or
else the dog amt profitable. There ai4't
nothing made boarding a Newfoundlin dog.
Rat ~tarriers arc useful to catch rats; but the
rats amt profitable after you have kstched
them. The shepherd dog is useful tew drive
sheep, and pay more than they are worth Just
tokeep the dog busy, the dog amt profita-
5le-not much LapdogSarc very useful; but
il you don't hold them in your lap a7l the
time, they amt profitable at all. The coach
dog is one Of the most useful ov dogs I know
ov; but you hare"got to have a coach, (and
that amt always pleasantly or you cam realize
from the dog. Thus we see that, while dogs
are generally useful, there are times when
they amt generally profitable"
It's it possible Miss that youdon't know
the names Of some of your best friends?" in
quired a gntlcman of a lady. "Certainly."
she replied, 81 don't even know what nv
own may be e year hence"
An honest Philadelphia German cot
excited over an account of an elopement of
4 married woman, and exclaimed "Ifrr7 wife
runs away nit anoder mans wife I wills Shake
him I tofher preeches if she be mine Rader
mine Go"
"A Western editor s~peapkiag Of a CHILL
driving contemporary, says ellis intellect is so
dense that it would take the aucer of common
sense longer to bore into it than it would
to bore through Mount Blance with a boiled
carrot"
The Rich41ond Enquirer s2ys this
country is fast tending to the lowest and most
vulgar style Of '-oyalty-the monarchy of the
mob and the aristocracy of the dollar"
a yonng widow on being asked whv she
vas going to get married so soon after the
death of her first husband, replied: Il do it
to prevent fretting myself to death on account
of dear Tom"
People behind the times should be fed
on kctchrp:
Be rcspector of religion, and do INTO
others ;s you would they should DO unto
you.
-Accustou: yourself Is act kindly and
eourteousiy 10 every one.
Coal is selling in Mobile at twentv-thrcc
dollars per ton; Tood sixteen dollars per cord.
ANSS WI HhS CIT per pOUiu: C1hnpOn
fifty cents apiece apples, twenty-five csnts
a piece, for good. and twenty-five cents ner
quart, for indifferent ducks one dollar a
piece.
The Cherokee InJians have dsposed
John Ross and proclaimed Downing as Chief
with the appropriations it is said, ofthe govern
1nent at Washington.
IL say, Joe, how dye do, how's all the
folks at home ?"
Purity well, only the old man has got the
Iiasma, and Sal has got an affection forsome
Geller-how's yours 2"
oh, so, so, 'cept the oI2 man, he's getting
old and i~"fernaL"
hfrn', we suppose, was the word intends
ed-but neither ice nor his friend were Die
tionary people,
-APoultry disease is raging in France,
Chs farmer lost $50 hens.
The confscation farce in Virginia has
cost $4,000 ard still continues:
-Praise to generous minds is the germ
and the aliment 20 emulatio.3.
Josh says eff man Is going to make
1 Dizziness of serving the Lord. he likes n
scehHnNdo it when he measures out onions rs
well as when he hollars halleluyar."
This world is a fleeing show. said \
priest toa culprit on the galiows. Yes. 79as
:he prompt response, bnt if you have no OBJ
%Jectlons Id rather sec ths shcw a little
longer! w
an Irish peasant beng asked Thy ne
permitted his pig to take up his quarters With
his family, made answer "Whv MT -
Doesn't the place afford every Convenience
that a pig can require ?"
-Animpatient clap, waiting for the orr,
said to the miller: {" could eat the mnoi os
fast as the mill grinds it." How long corIJ
you do so my friend ?" inqnirsd the miller
It'll L starved to death" was the sarcastic
reply. ~ SD'e'S''
-"An honest man is the noblcst york Of
me LGEa:' enthusiastically sSclaimed a.Hard-
s9eli hsptlst; and then, after a csy..e. he
"ude9 - out the Lord hasn't had a iC5ip the
"A German being required to rive = rc-
ce1Pt IN full. after mich mental effort nro-
duced the following: at ish fcli. Tvsnts
no more money, Joha S;7acha14mer,"
-"Nlan proposes, but'God dispose" s,;d..i
a pious aunt to her ov~cr-cou6dcnt n;on1..
: Let a man propose to ne if he darc" wss,l
the response, and I will dispose Of him ac'
cording to my own views, as he suits me-
A good one is told of a Quaker vuInr.
who was in a Virginia skfr,nlsh. Comm ),
IN pretty close contact with a yankee he re-.
married.. Friend. it's unfortunate but thee
stands just where I'm going to shoot" and |
blazing away, down came the yankee.
-When upright men die they are SUM-
posed to go right APP. Per contra, down
rascals are supposed to go ri!yAt dorn.
"A man in Fall River has taken out a
49, - : "'""hin" which manufactures II,