Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1865-07-07

| fSiJ Sidu Wucu IL grew tOO udEk 10 Ste
to sew, and | could 60 home and wear
out my trouble unobserved.
But, alb me when reached home all
was known. ! saw this too plainly in
the sorrow that overspread my fathers
face and bowed down his head and in
the tight lips and stern expression of my
mother.
"Why didn't you bring home some
work tonight 2" she cuttingly asked.
/ was ready to burst into tears, but
reused myself to answer that it was un-
necessary.
"Did you have company home ?" was
the next question, more cutting than the
| first.
hurried by her to my own room, and
fell upon my knees. Where could | 90
but to my God? He would not thrust me
from Him, even il were a Magdalen
and | was not one. l was innocent, but
| could not bear the shame and blame
which belongs to guilt, and / prayed to
die--to die then. How could | live p
My mother called me to tea. Her stern
voice controlled me and | rose, wiped
away my tears and joined the family at
the table. My mother could restrain her.
self no longer, and such torrent of ac-
cusation, and blame, and threatening as
now fell on my poor head / tried to
speak and defend myself.
''No, not word-not a word in ex-
cuse; this would only make matters
worse. There was no excuse for such
shameless conduct nothing could make
it any better"
l tried to tell her just how matters
were.
mo. She had been told enough al
ready. If there had been any more bad
conduct than she already knew, she did
not want to know it,
"Who," l asked in the midst of the
most violent weeping "who had told her
anything and what had been told p
"Who had told her but Mrs. Whitman,
who saw it all; aud why did l ask what
had been told when already knew I"
"But mother" began "mother"-she
would not hear me.
That | am your mother and you
have brought me to this shame ?" she ex-
"Mother"-I began again.
She would not hear me.
Don't be too hard upon her" plead
ed my father.
"God help mel" / prayed inwardly,
and clasping my hands to my burning.
head, hurried to my room. /
did not fall upon my knees, as l had
done before, but l prayed, "God help
me God help me y and wept. wept
Goods of tears. l lost all thought, all
feeling, save that of grief. / lost all self
control and groaned and walled aloud.
AT last, my father came to me.
"Hattyr" !" he said.
l turned towards him, still wailing
loud.
"Dou't cry so, my poor child !" he said !
enderly, weeping himself. l |
| stared at him and walled on. He
ried to sooth me laid his hand on my
hrobbing head 1t was too heavy and l
put it back. He stood still, looking at /,
ne, then gave deep groan. He called
ny mother. She came.
See what you have done !" be said to
Ter in low tone, but heard it. =
Severe as my mother was by nature !,
nd habit, she was still mother, and the
Gene before her, my maniac wall, my
ather's grief and reproacb, changed her Q
t once. She sprang forward and grasp q
d me in her arms, but shrank from her ID
nd struggled to free myself. Then she 5.
aid me down gently and spoke to me .
.
"Don't, Hatty don't feel so I'm sor- ST
y l talked SO to you Don't cry any 0
lore now p d
/ glaired at Der. d
She wanted TO bathe my head, but ] s.
ill shrank from her. Then she sat up Il
n the edge of my bed and again told me Il
ow sorry she was that she had made me lc
.el so badly, and blamed herself and &c
egged my forgiveness. Never in my y
fe had l ever heard her blame herself, 81
: ask forgiveness of human being be- p'
re. a
Then she turned to my father, and hl
lrnestly asked, "What can be done for u
Ie poor child ?" hl
o, how sadly he answered, "Notbing lie
othing, | am afraid. The mind is gone, re
I'd you cannot bring it back" dt
My mother held her hands tightly to- 81
,ther. spoke not word. She knew ID
hat REMoRsE was then.
l suffered on through that long night
ithout a moments rest. And no one ga
Sc could have rested in the house. The nc
,xt day was all wildness and suffering re
: me, and still the next and next ho
hen grew better, and went from house fix
house where was acquainted, talking gu
the wrong that had been done me- pa
y mothers pride would o t endure IN,
is, SO she had my room strongly guard Al
and fastened me in it. Then they took hi:
2 to the mad-house, and left me with tul
or wild things, even wilder than my Or
{. 0, how my mother wept, and how cal
,e-begone she looked when, after taking pa
I've of me, she turned and caught last
lnce Of me through the CRATES that shut ha
J in from home, and friends, and Gods Re
eet liberty, and every thing dear in
! She told me afterwards of the hor- pa
: with which the place inspired her,
that bad died there, she must have
d too, of her self-reproach and des-
II.