davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1865-11-09
TOWANDA, BRADFORD COUNTY, PA, NOVEMBER 8, 1865

only have four year. whereas most ladies'
have a dozen"
"a dozen - Iexcaimed ,astonished, "why
that is equal to one a month. 1t is pre-
postorous. Does your milliner have many
such customers 2"
"Oh, yes" Miss Modiste assures me that
there are some Of her purchasers who get
new bonnet every month"
L" | am thankful, my dear" said, that
you are not one but, it appears to me, that
four hats year are more than you can af-
ford to have, especially in such hard times
as these are, when every one should study
economy. Don't you think you can get
along with two a year z"
" really don't see how it would be pos
sible," she replied because every three
months the fashions change, and | would
not, you know, like to be out of the fash
ion"
"Well, the fact is, my DEAR" l replied,
that we must ecOnomize somewhere and
| think we can best dispense with new bon
nets AS for being in the fashion, it is all
nonsense. If there be one thing dislike
more than another, if is seeing you forever
studying fashion plate"
" am not forever studying fashion
plate" my wife answered, with spirit :" it
is rarely, indeed, that | see one. If you
want to economze, why don't you stop
smoking, and leave off drinking wine p
You men are always accusing us of being
extravagant, and spending our time before
a mirror; but in my opinion, and in that of
all the thinking portion of my sex, too, we
are seldom as eXtravagant or as vain as
your sex. You'll spend almost as much for
one dinner, downtown, as would suffice to
feed your whole family well for a week AS
for vanity, have never seen the greatest
cnqnette sta I'd longer before mirror than
| have you when engaged tying an elabor-
ate knot i'll your cravat."
Leaving this pretty quarrel as it stands
Though the intelligent reader WILL of
course surmisc that the lady ultimately has
her own way we close our extracts from
Barry Gray'S charming book with this little
sketch of
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1865-11-09

MATRIMONIAL INFRLLCLTIES.

following extracts are from Barry
~a.w book, entitled Matrimonial In,
.,." Few married men or women
aI to recognize the many hard hits in
.apter which follows
FRIDAYS CLEANING.
.grt. the houscmaid, having entered
Stands study Oh household thoughts
ar and armed with broom and dust-pan
rcisal as an intruder by the indignant
ATE.
9." ! exclaimed, interrupting her and
l from my chair as | spoke.
-reueatcd precipitately, slamming the
y.auaher, as she disappeared ; step,
\ .Ae door, turned the key in the lock,
/ returned TO my desk. Now then"
h myself, 81 think that matter is sat,
II r.y settled How curious it is" /
adj. that all women folks take such
Ire in sweeping Now, if there be
1- dislike more than another, it is
Brooms were invented by the
.a To try the patience of mankind. y
returned to my writing
We five minutes elapsed, knock at
a.d syurbcd me.
Who is there ?" | asked.
-gse.., it Is, said the original Biddy.
Aaat 10 You want :" | enquired.
Tie mistress bids me come back and
p the room
i can't be DONE" I replied ego
viii ye let me in, sir?" she asked.
lo, l answered.
Lien III tell the MISTRESS she said.
few minutes l enjoyed comparative
Only my little boy, taking advan-
. the maid having left the dust pan
door, converted it temporarily into
- Using the handle Of the feather
as a drumstick, and getting astridc
m. vas riding up and down the hall
~ the door, | told him he might take
I into the yard and play with them
II Them resumed my writing, con
II ,a- myself upon having disposed
H servant the boy, and the sweeping
SIS / had written six lines, perhaps,
II gent. tapping at my door disturbed
EN- @ew il was my wife, so | opened it
-"..,Iea her. She walked IN with
Domestic arr, and took seat Oh
HI ' "'Jl'nL speaking.
my GEAR l Saia, w hat IS 1t /:
'. is exactly what | came here tc
II answered" ," she replied.
.r- you'., have to inquire Of Barnum,
4 '.r can't tell.'
m' A' joking matter, sir, l can as
HI Size continued. How do you sup
II can hrrp my house III clean /
..., ii Tue servants are not al
weep and dust when l tell then
I ""n. know, ~ replied, but
81 S.r '..e necessity oi ones com
"-.r am writing, ana raising
"' 7''' A't"NsaiiLE y must W ny
p some other room just as
' -.s' confess puzzles me. Inc
'' ''1h doesn't require sweeping
.-..,e lAan two or three weeks ago
10" some one sweeping it"
..s. VI lATee weeks Y echoed my
" " mad not been swept until then
,' would find a cart-load Of dirt
was thoroughly swept on W ednes
'" friday IS my regular day tol
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1865-11-09

A MAGNANIMoUs DANE, During the wars
that ragged from 1922 to 1860, between
Frederick II of Denmark and Charles Gus
tavus of Sweden, after battle, in which
the victory had remained with the Danes a
stout burgher Of Flensborg was about to
refresh himself ere retiring to have his
wounds dressed, with a draught of beer
from a wooden bottle, when an imploring
cry from wounded Swede, lying on the
field, made him turn, with the very words
Of Sidney, "Thy need is greater than mine"
He knelt down by the fallen enemy, to pour
the beer III his mouth. His requital was a
pistol shot in the shoulder from the treach-
erous Swede
Rascal !" he cried, " would have be-
friended you, and you would murder me in
return. Now | will punish you. | would
have given you the whole bottle, but now
you shall have only half" Aud drinking
off half himself, he gave the rest to the
Swedc.
The king, hearing the story, sent for the
burgher and asked him how he came to
spare the life of such rascal.
Sire" said the honest burgher, 81 never
could kill wounded enemy"
Though mertest to be a NOBLE" the
king said, and created him one immediate
ly, giving him as armorial bearings wood
en- bottle pierced with an arrow The fam
lily only lately became extinct in the person
of an old maiden lady.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1865-11-09
AN ESCAPED HUSBAND.

" My wife has gone to visit her mother.
" am happy to be able to state that the
children accompanied her Peace, quiet
ness and felicity reign in my dwelling. |
come and go unqucStioned. | stay ont late
at night without fear of rebuke lie abed
of mornings and no one insists on my get
ting up. My friends pass the evening with
me, and there be none who tell me the next
day that the window curtains are filled with
tobacco smoke, and the parlor has the fra
GRANGE of bar-room. If two OF three
friends come home to dine with me, the
cook never asks why | brought them, nor
complains of headache What is more,
she does not insist upon having a new silk
dress every week, nor burst into tears if l
utter crude and naughty words. The fact
is, if there be one thing like more than
another,itis to have my wife often visit her
mother
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1865-11-09
rvpNs OF PUBLICATION.

,,..,,rrrP Is published every Thursday Morn
inc n GOODRICH, at 50 per annum, in ad-
rD.,, D..,,,,.rpTTSEALENTS exceeding fifteen lines are
~ TEN CENTS per line for first insertion,
..r,-rs per line for subsequent insertions.
-. l' w., discount is made to persons advertising
! '.. .norter. half-year or year. Special notices
+ .'' one-baIf more than regular advertise
-'-' ,rr.solutions of Associations ; commune
a.' d, limited or individual interest, and no.
...', ,,r,,riaaes and Deaths exceeding five lines,
-,s1 TEN CENTS pr line.
ID GINS Year. mo. mo.
C,rnnn. $50 S35 $50
.............dU 20 10
.,,,,re ............10 u
12e w canton. Lost and Found, and 9th
-,..',ii '.,iir.rtisemeuts, not exceeding 10 lines,
lily, weeks. or less, s,................S1 81 so
. t-.l: l:.tr~,t1rs and Executors Notices 2 90
t'--..r.s Notices ......................2 90
'..'. '... cards, i've lines, (per Year, 5 90
ITS and others, advertising their business,
Urged SO. They will be entitled to !
.,nfinal exclusively to their business, with
l., Of change
= ,lyertsing in all cases exclusive of sub
..;,n to the paper.
r. PRINTING Of every kind in Plain and Fan
-.r. done with neatness and dispatch. Hand
hanks. Cards, Pamphlets, &c, of every va
.,3 .tvls, printed at the shortest notice The
-. 0rrIcE has Just been re-ftted with Power
and every thing in the Printing line can
...l in the most artistic manner and at the
-+-s TERMS INVARIABLY CASH.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1865-11-09

AN editor got shaved in a barber's shop
recently, and offered the darky a dime,
which he refused because, said he, " | un-
derstand dat you are an editor !" "Well |
what of that ?' 1--WE nebber charge edi-
tors muffin p But such liberality will
ruin you" Oh. neber mind, we make it
up off de Qennlen'
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1865-11-09

"0vERcoME evil with good" as the gen
tleman said when he knocked a burglar
down with the family bible.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1865-11-09

WIFE, | am to live but few hours at
most-l shall soon be in heaven" "You,
you'll never be any nearer than you are
now to heaven, you old brute You'd look
well stuck up in Heaven, think see you
there now" Dolphus, Dolphus," hoarsely
growled the old man, bring me my cane,
and let me larrup the old trollop once more
before ! die"
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1865-11-09
Criminal Poetry,

For the Bradford Reporter.
TITLES.
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1865-11-09

A LITTLE girl said: Mother is Tom a
good cat 2"
Z" Yes"
"Wel, he will go to heaven, then, won't he?'
suppose so, but if you're not a better
girl, you'll never go there"
"Oh !" said the little girl, "Fll hold on
to Toms tail"
Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1865-11-09

p,.oorrrr is published every Thursday Morn
= = n GooDRIcH, at 50 per annum, in ad-
Daily State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1861-1865, 1865-02-23

As wide spread the continent Of North America But
the GROWING glory Of his life remains be attained
his discovery. rather combination, for he does
claim To have been the discoverer of CEDHON,
which Is the basis Of the BteIs offered the pub
lie. That honor belongs the native inhabitants Of
Central America, 10 whom its virtues have been known
for more than two hundred years. Armed with it, the
Indian bids defiance 10 the most deadly malaria and
handles without fear the serpents Its
belief with them that while there is breath body
the Cedron is potent 70 matter what the sess
may be.
While Dr. Bull is not prepared TO endorse this
pretension, he is nevertheless satisfied from
thorough examination Of the evidence relating its
virtues, that as Q remedy and preventative Of all dis
arising from exposure either change
climate, or TO missmatic influences, IL stands
Daily State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1861-1865, 1865-02-23
IN DYSPEPSIA

And its attendant train Of symptoms. acts more LIKE
A CHAIN than medicine There Is nothing In the
whsle range Of hateria Medcs that for q oment
bear comparison with IL in this disease.
full account Of this wonderful plant may be found In
the llth edition Of the o. s. Dispensaory, pages 1857
and 1888.
series Of experiments in which Dr. Bull has been for
years engaged has Just been brought 10 successful
termination and he Is enabled TO offer 10 the public
combination Of CEDRON with other approx ed tonics,
the whole preserved In the best quality Of copper dis
titled Bourbon Whisky, which he is confident has q
equal in the world.
He might furnish volume OF certificates, bv' lb
lie have long since learned 10 estimate such
their true value. The safest plan fer every to
for himself the virtues Of q medicine.
Daily State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1861-1865, 1865-02-23
9 x M PTO M g.

ea5-cALL FOR CIRCULAR DESCRIBING AL
SYMPTOMS. -tru
Daily State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1861-1865, 1865-02-23
PRIVATE DISEASES.

nR CoLToUR, MEDICAL OFFICE NO 30 SOUTH
Meridian Street. forfeits lbs Zee he fails IN cur
ing any that nay come under bis care no matter
how obstinate o. long standing lie warrants voc =
Syphilis. the primary stage help~d In IS ssr-
utss cured Ia ~ hours elect Of 20 years standing
cured BY Dr. c psscr h1rrs 20 20 p u uar2s
Daily State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1861-1865, 1865-02-23

The symptoms 81 Caisrrh, a. they generally appear,
are al first very slight. Persons End they have cold,
they have frequent attacks and sensitive
the changes Of temperature. In this condition, the
may be dry, slight discharge, thin and acrid
arwa becon ng thick and adhesive As the disease
becomes chronic the discharges Increased in quantity
and changed In quality; they are now thick and heavy
and are hawked cOughed OF The secretons are Of
fensive causing bad BREATH the voice Is thick and
sal eyes weak the Of the smell lessened
or destroyed deafness frequently takes psce Another
common and important symptom Of Cstarrh Is that the
person il Obliged 70 clear his throat the morning Of
thick or Shiny mucus which has fallen down from the
head during the aight when this takes place the per-
son may that his disease Il It's way TO the
lungs, and should lose no time in arrestingi 10.
The above are but few Of the many Cstsrrh symptoms
Daily State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1861-1865, 1865-02-23
FURNITURE, &C.
SECOND HAND STOR r
233 East Washington ST.,

NEAR LITTLE,S HOTEL
GsooK STOVES. HEATING STOVES, FURNITURE
~ and Mattresses Of all kinds, conditions aud prices.
foe can here nnc everything neeessary 20 rake
pete outrt for ksa.efeepi1g. and prices RANGING
from IS TO 50 per cent cheaper than be haa n<w sny
where in the city. also have esmple,e stock a Nsx
1inware, Common oextrs, Bststssts ana Looklps
Clauses. CAL srs - J.. n NAkoT
tSA,7-S0E
Daily State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1861-1865, 1865-02-23
Indianapolis and Madison
ma AHEHlDA EB.
1864. ~ 1864.
New Arrangement tn Commence Hen
day, Nay 10, 1854.

1.-TWO passenger trains daily Sundays excepted
tween Indianapolis and Madison.
Leave the Union Depot indianapolis, at 800 A. n
and p. NJ, arriving at Madison so A. and
Pm.
Leave the Depot at Madison at A. NJ and 24e p. n.
arriving at Indianapolis at ii A. ". and TAO p. NJ
Trains leave Columbus for Rushville at p NJ, srriv-
Ing at $40 NJ Returning leave Rushville at A. N.
arriving at Columbus at Ills A. NJ.
This Road forms line with the Packets Madison for
the transportation of freight between Cincinnati and In
dianapolis and points West.
Tariff of Freights as low by any otherrouts.
Shippers and merchants West will find their
est 10 ship by thislin
marls DC BRANHAM. Superintendent.
Daily State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1861-1865, 1865-02-23
WINTER ARRANGEMENT
G ~ 9 i n ~ a II
SOUTHERN OHIO.
North Eastern Kentucky.
indianapolis and Cincinnati
ShOrt-Lfne

speed safety and comfort OF trains eQaaI 20 The best
lines in the country.
PAsk for tickets via "lndianspol and Cincinnst
Railroad"
Special Noticc.-The new track into Cincinnati
Is complete and passengers by this line landed
the "New Pearl Street Depot" the Burnet
House. about mile business Of the
city than any other Depot
ROBERT MEEK, Superintendent.
W. III. L. NoBLH, General Ticket Agent
A. s. Burr, Travelling Agent novl4-du
Delaware State journal and statesman., 1865-12-15

Atlanta twill ever be read with an interest
unsurpassed by anything in history" The
particulars of the growth of that great cam
paign in the two minds are marked down
with the modesty Of nature too noble 10
claim the tithe Of what belongs 10 another.
Fair tribute is paid to Meade also, whose
commanding always in the presence of an
otlicer superior to him in rank has drawn
from him much of that public attention that
his zeal and ability entitlo him to, and which
he would otherwise have received" But
undoubtedly the best of all Grants declara.
tions is that in relation to the qualities of
the soldlers-"It has been my fortune to see
the armies of both the West and the East
fight battles, and from what have seen I
know there is no difference in their fighting
qualities. All that it was possible for men
to do in battle they have done. Tho Wes-
tern armies commenced their battles in the
Mississippi valley and received the final sur
render OF tho remnant of the principal army
opposed to them in North Carolina. The
armies OF the East commenced their battles
on the river from which the Army of the
Potomac derived its name and received the
final surrender of their old antagonist at Ap.
pomattox Court House, Virginia. The splen-
did achievements of each have nationalzed
our victories. p"
This splendid recognition of the qualities
of our soldiers closes a document that has no
equal either for tho grand events of which il
treats or for the admirable, generous, just
and manly spirit in which it tells its story.
Delaware State journal and statesman., 1865-12-15

5l5 were steamers, which on sale have de.
preciated in value SIP, 100000 The co.ope.
ration of the navy in the capture of Whining
ton, Charleston and Mobile will he read with
keen interest. Tho conduct Of England in
building and equippiug privateers and block
ade runners is referred 10 in emphatic terms,
and an enlargement and perfection of our
Navy Yards is urged that we may be nre-
pared for future emergcncies. There are
now five squadrons of national vessels-on
the coast OF Europe ~, Brazil 110), East
India a., Pacific (l1), West India (S). At
the highest period of efficiency of the block
aiding squadrons, in January last, there were
All vessels, with "a, ,559 guns. OF prizes
there have been captured of all kinds /, ,151
vessels, Of which 210 were steamers; rams
and gunboats, II; and S55 of all kinds have
boon sunk or destroyed. The estimated value
OF those sunk and captured is over $751;.
100000 The amount OF prizes condemned
up to the lst November is sci s20, 543 SO,
and number Of important cases are still be.
fore the courts. Most OF the whole has been
British property.
There are on the pension roll . e,027 receiv-
ing an annual sum of S24s $50 So An in
crease of the salaries Of officers and clerks
is asked for. The resources Of the depart
inent ior lhe hschl year were sl4U, OJli 100 W,
and the expenditures SIG 7s1 SO 50, which,
together with unexpended appropriations
and those for the current year, leaves bal
ance for estimated currenteSpenses of sl42,-
29l ,9l0 40, exclusive ol the proceeds OF sales
OF vessels, etc The working expenses of
the navy for the year ending June 80, 1867
are estimated at a little less than twenty -four
millions.
The Secretary offers some suggestions for
the laying-up Of iron-clads; location of Ma
val Academy and for the education of sea-
men. He concludes by stating that tine navy
is in state of excellent physical and moral
efficiency congratuales the country, his
subordinates and himself upon the success of
their past labors, and commends the naval
force to the cherishing care of the Govern
ment as the best hope of our national defense
and glory.
Delaware State journal and statesman., 1865-12-15
CRITTENDEN'S
COMMERCIAL COLLEGE,
PHILADELPHIA.
PHILADELPHIA.

This College occupies the whole upper portion Of threi
stories q the large double budles al hs n e corner
CHESTNUT and SEVENTH Streets, is we'll lighted
and lifted piu style Of eesanee anl e1nYenleLo'
which is unsurpassed.
The instruction given here Is OF the most prseia
buslnesake character The appr, oial0n VI lis value i
shown BY the fact that durDG the past year nearly
huldred students wers In attendance, aud also ny h'
situations, and the large number of applications mais
10 the College for thou.
The course ofinatrueilon includes
BooKKREPIN1,
which G tGughti in ali s departments and Appeatons
iust Il Ii rraeeed by the host accountants snd hus
ness mon. Each student oaens, Whites out and closes
several set Of BOOKS adapted 70 the various branches
trade makes out 10 proper form the vsous papeTs used
In business, such rs Promisaory Notes, Receipts, ke
eount Currens, Account sales, Businesa Letters
Balance Sheets, &c.. aud 10 in.lructed in the large
variety Of Transactions aud customs ofbnslness liie
PENMANsuIr
which IL important TO every business receives
especial attention aud the method " instruction pursued
hero Is well calculated to make elegant aud spd ponneu
COMMERCIAL ARITHMETIC,
Including Interest Profit aud Loss Averaging Accounts
Exchange, &C., IL taught In It's shortest and most ep
proved meihods
CoMNgRcI,L Law, MATHEMATICS, and DKTRorlNo couE.
BRfsT NoTss are Included in thu course OF Instruction.
TELEGRAPHING
both BY e0uud and Paper Is taught by one othe best
OF practical aud experienced OPERATORS and every facility
Is Afforded for acquiring full knowledgo of all the
minutiD Of The profession.
A department has been opened for the reception Of
d Aueh ipr Instruction IN thls brAnGn. the egr6Nt aud
Increasing demand for competent OPERATORS offers un.
usual operlunii NfOr remunerAtvo employment
Az instruct Is given to each student separately,
those who wash enter for any particular branch
90.
The time usually required for the complete Counting
uouse Courses varies eight 70 twelve weeks, ac-
eordiug to the number Of hours daily devoted to It.
handsome Diploma, with the seal VI the lust tuition a.
tAehed. Is awarded N graduation.
Students received At any time and are Instructed
at such hours may best suit their convenience.
Catalogues Containing terms, &c, may he obtained
gratis application.
G3-CRrTESDRss eres Of Practical TroAtiaes On BOOK.
KEEPING, and JuDGE snARwooD's lectures before the
Students on CommeIcia Law, for sale at the College
S.H. CRITTENDEN & CO.,
Delaware State journal and statesman., 1865-12-15
A Modern Miracle |!

From old aud young, from rich and poor, from high
born and owy comes the Universal Voice of prase Tor
HALLS VEGETABLE
slCILIAN HAIR RENBwER.
1t is perfect and miraculous article Cure- badness.
Makes hair grow. better dressing than any "oil
"p5matum" softena brash, dry and wiry hair into
Beautiful slken Tresses. But above all, the great
wonder Is ths rapdity with which IL restores GRAY
HAIR TO IT'S ORIGINAL COLOR.
Use It few times, and
PRESTO, CHANGER -
the whta and worst looking hair ts youthful
beauty 1t does not dye the hair but srikos at tho root
and hls II with new life and eolorng matter.
It will not take long sagreesble trial. prove the
truth OF this matter. The first application will do good
you will sec the NATURAL COLOR returning every day
and
BEFORE YOU KNOW IT.,
the old gray discolored appearance of the hair will be
gone, giving place to ustrous, Hhining and beautiful
locks.
Ask for Halls slcan Hair Remover; no other article
Is at all like 1t in lect You will nud II
CHEAP 70 BUY. PLEASANT TO TRY,
and SURE TO DO You GOOD.
There are many mutations Bo sure you procure the
genuine, manufactured only BY r. P. HALL q CO.,
Nashua, N. II.
For sale bY all druggists. Augil.6m
Delaware State journal and statesman., 1865-12-15
NEWARK ACADEMY.
Prof Edward D. Porter, Principal.
SESSI0NS--lS65,

Tha building aud grounds have been placed In com
pleo order ard Oiled mp with furniture especially
adapted for the comfort and convenience of students
Hooms nthed Tor the Oldest boys as In Colleges
private tuiy free from the confusion AHd restraint Of
school room.
The Course OF instruction la thorough aud practical
designed to a. ouns for admission to cur beat
Colleges or Tor the active duties Of the farm, hhop
counting houte
By tho literaty Of Board Trustees Academy
10 furnished with library Of 600 Volumes aud one q
the best colec ions Of Chemical and Philosophical appa
raus u the United btAtes-thut aordng facilities foi
acquiring complete seientih and MathsmetieAl sdueA-
tiou far superior to most Echoolsiu our country.
The lest Teachers will be employed and no Iabo,
spared TO secure the proper, moral mental ABd physical
traiung Of the young men entrusted to his care TERM
mOdernte. For circulars aud information Addrv6H
.kDWARD D. PoErER,
Newark Dal.