The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1865-07-29
led up 'fis shoulder and pulled down that

|
| till Thought had got it.
| Mistak ken mortal it wonld not ft!
l made another series of EXPERIMENTS with
| equally futile results. Then consulted one
| Or two [rFends, / felt sure ! had discovered
| where tn shoe-1 mean the shirt pinched.
Iappled a cure, but the thing wasn't cured
Next | employed e tailor to try his skill
Not one whit better. TIE man was getting
and | wa getting desperate.
As my dernier resort, summoned a couu-
ell of sewing women, we went into commit
| lee ot the whole. For hours, we expended
our united wits on single shirt; OF subject
ing luck less owner to successive trials of the
garment
"DonJ that now fit your neck exactly ?''
asked the head of the conspiracy. as for the
forty fifth time We gathered around our vie,
tim.
"Why. yes" with charming smile of sre-
lief, and Twisting his head about experiment
ely; "rdally, cannot suggest any improve
meut"
"Oh! be jayfalin exclaimed l, clappi =
my hand.
"Suppb bse," said one of the wise women,
looking dt me over her glasses as ifsome inn
portant lea had struck her, Suppose we
cut out a new shirt on the improved plan,
.nhi if THAT srits, take pattern from it,
"Agredd,' cried l, quite jubilant, and ran
to n chest for the cotton
SO we tut, basted and tried on--sewed and
tried on starched, ironcd aud tried on.
"Capithl,' affirmed our representative of
the l0rdlN sex. ''Not Il thread amss. 1t is
the first 4 me in u'y lie that shirt has ex :
actly Gtte me
Asa grateful memorial, | made up six
NC, L.. I
entered on our triumphant epoch.
Woe worth the day Must own that be-
fore forty-e'ght hours I'D passed that "eract-
iy .ftted' individual called me aside, and
pointed with cruel significance to his neck.
Il am very sorry,' with the blaudes: air
in the world. Il suppose YOUR mistake came
from your great desire to choke me-
Mistake choke you! echoed !, ccrrlusiye-
ly 4 little te'upted to try the latter
Don't be troubled. 1t requires only a
slight alteration--a trife cut out of the bind
ing. thal's all. You see its Yafiey large
Why couldn't he have fJlni ii ont be
fore ?"-to myself. Then aloud, with grea,
dignity: Tell NE precisely how much to
cut out
well, l should say just about an inch"
''Just about an inch, " mut,erei sarcas-
tically. adding with sudden burst of indig
nation, Il believe the mi chief i all in yonr
neck, which dilates and contracts cr purpose
to torment me"
He smiled kindly on my wrathful t,ars.
and well, when the shirt was "rough-dry''
! duIifully cut out the inch, bas;ed the bind
ing, aud tried it on again.
That is Just wha, 1t wanted it does very
nicely now, you see, working his chm up
and down.
Yes, see. ! did beforc."
Practice makes perfect, and ihis time yoa
hit the nail on the lead
When the change was complete he once
more tried on the Shirt and equivocais as
surcd me that 1t fitted to a T. So ! made
the same alterations IN tie other five, aud
sat down 10 take bit Of comfort.
Can yol imagine what happened?
In the cours OF fortnight the nan gave
was too happy to accept. How extremely
gTaci5Es and ayr -eaJlc he vas becoming
From one thing u another he Id the con-
versaiionStill finally ha approached the old
hatefrl topic he hnd OF enc Of his rcw
shirts)
~ don't mind my vexa;ion,' remarked |.
innoccutly, 'now that you are at last suited,
Then, surprising the matter FOR ever at
rest, turned to a pleasanter subject But
coming back TO the shiIts aEain. his face
sumed 50 ch adegreca,iHg look that Iexclai:n-
ei in ala n:
"Notlihg ais them ROW lope ~
"Ouly very little thing. and ca>'y altered.
In yoar fear of getting them too large, they
are iriiie too smal!-oniy iriile.
Ny heart sT@eli-d. brt uttered not a word
When we reached home, made llrn
measure of on his foryfnger exactly how
much he wished inserted. The shirt he had
on happened to be the Identical cne had
f,rEt altered. J was fortunate erC"gh to dis
cover in my work basket the verl piece
had cat out, and was malicious enough to
exult at its proTing The exect measure of the
addition wanted. SO | ss-saed it inagain, re-
pcating to myself all Tie Thile "Oh tue
cro'chetynsSS of man -
VIII Won believe me, when | whispe- it
coniideutiaily. that after all this. for many
years, hluered between cutting out and put
ting in that same piece the man invariably
PLAYING me false.
OF late, however, have drpPned the labor
Of sewing. having discovered that pinning
over one week, and unpinning the next, az
swers all the purpose. The victim of this
perpetual change Silently acqniesces in the
inevitable arrangement, an''' Nhi.t iS letter,
h" has lea-aed to do the hing himself
There il a shirt hanging over a chair in
his chaml er at this moment. had the
curiosity tb 90 in and examine it, rs ! have
been writing. / fad il is the piniiing orer
week.