Virginia free press. (Charlestown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1832-1916, 1865-11-09

isTbe swings and arrers Of outrajusto rtin, AZ
hiled % bv Hamlick, warn't nuthin IN compan-
son 70 my trubles I come plagly near swear
in sum profane oaths morn Onct, but hope 1
didn't doit. for I've promised one whose name
Shall be nancless. Except that the two tirSslet-
ters-o her namo are Betsy j. that u lne the
naeetng house nc Baldinsville iist as soon as
can get money enough together, SO l can lord
tobe plus In good style, like my wealthy naoers-
But If am confscatCd again, shall contlaner
onin my preset benighted state for some time.
hggered conspicuously in many thnllm
scenes On my tower frum Montgomery to my
bumsted and on several occaShunS ! thought
the crate commick paper wouldn't never be en-
riched no more by my lubrications. After bid-
den adoo to Jefferson Davis, / started for the
demo- l saw niger settin on fence playin
ON a banjo "My African brother, says l,
'.you belong TO very interesting race-your
master is going to war exclusively on your ac-
count.
Yes Boss " and he went OF playing the ban
To- larfin al over. and opening iis mouth WIDE
enough to drive in an old fashioned two wheel
chaise
The train Of cars in which I was to risk my
valerable life, was the scaliest, ricketeSt lookn
lot of concerns ever saw on wheels af0re.
"What time does this string of second hand
collins leave" inquired Of the conductor.
He sed directly, and went and sot down. !
hadn't moren fairly squatted afore dark look
ing man with Swinster expression into his
cOuntenance, entered the cars, and looking very
sharp at me. he asked what was my principles?
"Secesh, ] answered "l'm diSs0luter I'm
for jeff Davis, BeAuregard, Piokens, old boo
beerd Monroe Edwards, the Devil, Mrs. Gun
ningham, and all the rest Of them.
You're in favor Of the warp
Certainly, by all means. I'm in favor Of
this war and next one. I've been in favor Of
the next one for over sixteen years
~Bhd, ergo blud," said /, though them
words wasn't original with me. Them words
were writ by SHAKESPEARE who are dead. His
mantle fell onto the author Of the Seven Sisters,
whose going to have a spring overcoat made
Out'n it.
We got underway at last, and proceeded on
our Journey, at about the rate of speed which
is generally observed by properly conducted
funeral professions. A handSum young gal
with red muskecter bar on the back part of
her head, and a sassy little black hat tipped
over the forred, sot in the seat with me- She
had little secesh flag pinned to her hat and
she was going to her troo love, who had joined
the Southern army-and She war so bold and
so gay. So she told me she was chilly and
offered her my blanket.
"Dad Twin ?" Tax.
"Yes sir"
SCOT any Uncle ?"
"a heap Uncle Thomas is ded, tho"
Peace % Uncle Thomas ashes and success to
him. Twill be your Uncle Thomas Lean on
,,,r-t,~ opI l,y,fror b1sgefrr1
pose.
She slept as secoorly is in her own house, and
didn't disturb the solemn stiffness with cary
snore."
At the FIRST staShun a troop Of SOiers entered
the cars and inquired fold Wax Works is on
board. That was the disrespeetfully style in
which they referred to me.
"Bekase. IL OLD Wax Works is on board, sez
man with face like double breasted lobster,
we intend to hang him.
Ny illustriOus and patriotic men, sez I, get
ting up and taking off shappo, if you allude TO
A. Ward, its my plesin doOty 70 inform you
that he's ded He saw the error of his ways at
10 minutes past yesterday and stabbed him
self with a sledstake, dying in bOOtiful tabloos
of slow music His last wurdS war
Ny professional career is over, l jerked no
more!
And who be your
I'm a stoodent in Senator Benjamin's law Of
fee. I'm goin' up North to steal spoons and
things for the Southern Army.
This was satisfactory, and the intoxicated
troopers went orr
At thenext staShun my pooty Secesher awoke
and said she must git out thar l bid her
kind adoo and gave her some provisions.
Accept my blessin and this hunk of ginger
bred sed.
She thanked me meekly and tripod gaily
away There's considerable human nature in
man, and I'm afraid l shall alters give aid
and comfort to the enemy If be comes in the
shape Of a nice young gal
At the next stashun didn't git off so easy.
I was dragged out'n the cars and rolled in the
mud several minits, for the purpose of taking
the c0nSeet OUt'n me a SecpSbner came up, af-
fectionately embraced me, and to show he had
no hard feeling agin me put my nose in his
mouth. ] returned the compliment by sud-
denly placing my stummick agin his right foot
when he kindly made spittOon of my able
bodied face Actooated by a desire to see
whether the seceshner had been vaccinated,
fastened my teeth onto his coat sleeve and tore
il TO the shoulder. We then valantlv butted
our heads together for few minits. danced
around little, and sot down in a mud-puddle.
We riz to our feet agin, and by a sudden and
adroit movement placed my left eve agin the |
seceshnerS fist we then rushed into each 9TH
ers arms and fell under a two-hoSs wagin. ]
was very much exhausted, and didn't care a
bout gettin up agin-but the man Sed he re-
Oned I'd better, and / concluded / would. he
pulled me up, and ] hadn't been on NV Zee,
morn two seconds aiore the ground Few upaul
hit me in the head. The crowd said IL was
high old sport, but / couldn't exactly see VI err.
the latter came in. We riz and embraced agin. /
We careered madly to a steep bank when ct
the upper hand Of my antagonist ani threw
him into the raven. He fell abcu; forty feet. {
striking a griudstone pretty hard / under /.
stand he was injured. / haven't heard from
the grindstone
A man in a cookt hat cum mp and scd lac felt Z
as tho an apology was doc me. There was a /
crowd had tuk me lor another /
man. I told him not TO mention faxed him /