North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1865-08-16
Se(ett Storp,
BACHELORS EXPERIENCE.
BY H. W, B.

LII IS not necessary Tor me TO reIate my
early history. Why tell how, or when. or
where was born That have an exist
ence is undeniable ; this manuscript is pre-
sumptive evidence of that. If any one doubts
that have moved in society, have seen the
world, that doubt will disappear before l
have finished. That what | write is truth,
a fact, leave those who may peruse this to
form their own opinion.
Suffice it, then, to say am a bachelor,
presentable appearance, tolerable informal
nation, and passionately fond of young la
dies, especially the nea: and tidy. OF course
scme wonder why l don't get married, that's
just what | wonder at but before l close,
you may find reason of your own don't
let me anticipate your wishes, and don't get
excited over my d11tul fate. Perhaps had
better entitle this after the old maxim, "The
way of the transgressor is hard :"
My life has been the mere experience of
my circle of acquaintance mine is written,
theirs dead or forgotten amid new joys or
deeper griefs.
When arrived at the impatient age OF
sixteen when long cigars and tobacco guilds
made men Of boys, when long tailed coats
bosomed shirts, stan1ing collars and essence
of peppermint added dignity to youth lat
least, youth thought so,) and made some
slim spindle shanks man of property and a
catch. started out in the world with my
brains clouded with tobacco smoke and my
clothes scented with beautiful conglomera-
ZION of the same delicious odor mingled with
an agreeable perfume of peppermint. had
two ideas desldes peppermint and tobacco,
ho wever, and they were to find a wife, and
a rich old uncle, who would die soor and
leave me the bnlk Of his property. That
wealth, severely earned through long years
Of toll and prlvation, would not be willingly
begueathed to such a genius as |, never
troubled my mind it would of course, be
left me. failed in both, however, as every
man who starts in life with two such mad
propositions ought to do. Some fair damsel
signing for husband, may ask how failed
in the first, and some lucky fool who stun
bled on wife, may remark, any man can
marry. do most sincerely pity such people;
my deepest commisseration is extended to
them they waste brains and energy. IT'S
not overy woman 1rould marry, nor every
woman would marry me so l am still
looking for wife.
After long and faithful search to find some
wealthy relative to leave me his fortune, and
after being shown the sidewalk repeatedly,
in manner that always left an impression
upon me, concluded that either nv rich
relations were fools, or | had mistaken my
calling. In the course of my long, distant,
and tedious peregrinations, l was introduced
to lovely and bewtching lady of the name
of Miss Clara Angel. She smiled, and | was
in love. o! the rapture of that emotion
How it thrilled my whole soul What a
new dignity it added to me ! The possibi-
ty that she did not love me I never calcula
ted-the idea that any woman OF intelligence
could refuse so brilliant chance as to become
the wife of such wonderful genius as my
self, was presumptuous SO spent money
for gifts, money for tickets to the theatre, to
concerts and lectures l wasted my time,
wasted my energies, exhausted my resources
made my friends sorrowtul, wore out the pa
tience of Of my relations, and lost my copet-
ed "hership."
On one OF these calm, serene and beautiful
A.
light hallowed everything with mellowlng
influence. was seated in buggy with her
to whom my sighs and joys were all dedlca-
ted. just as we neared the shade Of a mag
nifcent oak, began to feel all the blended
emotions and sensations usually experienced
on such occasions, and as passion grew warn
and ardent, confessed all. / told her of nv
love, my hopes, my ambition, and my pros
poets. 1t awakened no corresponding thrill.
Coolly and silently she listened. grew mad,
ly eloquent. pressed the question, and she
replied:
81 don't see the ne cessity of this warmth
between friends l love you certainly. l 1--we
5Ou WIN d otoCCf o IONe duu ever eS-
te EN- you as a Grother,"
This reply thoroughly unnamed me. l
had plenty of sisters at home; l knew the
value of a sisters love. Being worthless,
good for nothing fellow, my sisters were con-
slantly teasing the life out Of me; and when
my senses fully recovered from the shock
produced by her reply, concluded she had
hattered my fancy at the expense of my
pocket She bewtched me with her
sweetness long drawn out to the tune
of misspent time and exhausted resources,
threadbare coats and laughing shoes, hats
that to all appearance had served campaign
iu Southern warfare, SO awfully worn out. If
had been born rich or poet, should
make hero out of myself and heroine out
of her /; but being unfortunately destined 10
60 hungry to bed, the romancs of the thing