North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1865-06-28
A LANDLORD GRArIFIED.

A Yankee-but whether he was q trades
or not, can't say stopped at q tavern, "a
way up North in the State of New York
called for supper and ''fixins, and after swal
lowing.a pretty considerable meal, retired.
NJ Meanwhile the landlord and interlopers
were busily engaged in conversation.
BY and by Yankees and Yankee tricks
I were discussed. The landlord informed his
bar-room company thst there was live
Yankee in the house, and if it were possible
be would have trick Or two out of him be-
fore be left, while the aforesaid changers on
were 10 be witnesses. After . pheasant
smile" all around, at the landlords expense,
they nizzled. ...'
Next rsorping landlord and company were
ready to snap at Mr.. Yankee, as soon as he
should make his appearance. Breakfast being
over in walks Jonathan, with an air peculiar
to folks "deown east,' paid his bill, aud was
about to depart, wher the landlord accosted
him with: .... -...t %, -H
"You, iis PLAIN to be seen that you're q
Yankee. Can, or will you oblige US with a
trick or two, for can assure you. we are rea
dy to be trcked if you can do it." 50 -.
oval, dunno bout that. Hev dun few in
my time but dunno as kin dew anythin'
/ smart this mocnin'." .... s-.#..-
80. do. Let's have a trick" exclaimed
the eager crowd. rr-..r.. .f.
oval, seein' its yeou, I'll dew it jest to
please you, but swow you m usn't git mad.
SO, no, not at ALL" says the landlord.
"I'll 60 his security" chimed in old Rum
moss. .. ..a
81 reckon" says Jonathan, "yew sell
prodigious sight of ieker IN these paits. and
good at that. Yew have pipe of wine in the
cellar, eh p
"Oh, yes, rale stuff too. tell you
"Wal, ;" says Jonathan, ''come along, all
| yeou that want to behold the miracle per for
med"-and down they went IN the cellar
The said pipe was pointed out. 'Neow,"
! says the Yankee, gentlemen, yew see that
pipe of wine, dew you ?'' A nod Of assent
went the rounds of crowd.
"Wal, meow kin taks brandy out of one
end and gin out oe tother."
"Do it and you can take my head for foot
ball." exclaimed the landlord.
| Jonathan coolly drew from his pocket a
small gimlet, and bored small hole 10 one
! end of the pipe, which hole the landlord
was requested to cover with his thumb. He
| did so, as soon as a hole was bored in s'tother
end"
Jonathan kept a sober phiz during the op
Grafton, and requested the landlord TO stop
| up the other, while he went after something
| to put the darsed stuff in. The landlord
complied with his request, and, stretched
across the pipe, resembled man of wars
man about to receive dozen with the ''cat."
Jonathan immed iatels decamped, he did.
The landlords back began to ache, and he
began to think the Yankee was long time
getting wials to put the ticker in. Soon the
wials of his wrath began to bile over, aud
words too deep for human ears were strug-
CLING for utterance, and he, holding on,endea-
vored TO keep the wine from leaking out
Soon the hoax began o LEAK into the heads
of the "outsiders"
By and by, one gavea laugh and guessed
the landlord was done 8 leetle the brownest
of anything he'd ever seen and didn't the
walls of the old cellar ring and ring again
with bursts Of laughter ? Well, they cid
The landlord raved and swur.. almost he
was deacon in the church-ahd at last be
broke forth with.
DOG my eternal cats, if hain't been
| trcked by that confounded Yankee"
He tried to get some OF the crowd to sup
ply his place, but cid Rumnose thought he
never let good oppor tuniry slip-'twould
be well, inasmuca as the landlord had allow
ed himself TO be tricked by Mr. Yankee Doc
die, that he, (the landlord) should treat al
hands, which he did, add was released from
his tiresome position, after losing his patience
and some Of bis wine.