davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1865-09-20

SHAMEFUL LEGAL ADvICE.-Last summer a
bank clerk in New York stole $lO0,OO0 He
lost the money by fighting the tiger He
then called upon a lawyer and informed him
that he was ruined man. and thought of sui
eide This led to the following dialogue =
How much does your defalcation amount
to2'
One hundred thousand dollars
Got any of itleft?
Not cent.
That's bad you have left nothing to work
with.
What must be done?
You must return to your desk and abstract
another hundred thousand
What must | do that for?
TO preserve your character and save you
from going to the State Prison. With the hun
dred thousand dollars you are to steal tO-mor-
row, | intend to compromise with the bank
Your stealings after tomorrow will amount to
$4,000 | will call at the bank and confess
your offence | will represent myself as, your
heart broken uncle, honest but poor; | VIII
offer the bank $50, 900 to hush up the matter
The bank will accept This will leave S50, 900
to divide between you and me-that is S2a. .OOO
apiece With this sum you can retire trom
business
The Young man listened and took on wis
DOM lie doubled his dctaicatlon, and COM
promised AS the lawyer said he should. He is
now worth $3.50, 900, and Is counted 'One OF the
most respectable gentlemen In the city OF New
| York
Smyrna times., 1865-09-20
WHOLE NO. 591
A Cure for the Collie,

was travelling In Indiana, put uD for the
night at double log cabin on the bank ofthe
Wabash, ate heartily Of r,cul hers at sumner.
and an hour after was suffering al manner of
fortunes from the colic-crampS--whcw Great
beads of cold sweat stood on my forehead. and
was doubling up and Strengthening out like a
jumping Jack. | spoke to the woman of the
h0use-a middie-aged. fair-haircd woman who
mad raised at least nine towhcad gals and
boyS-about liking me some pepper tea. or
something OF that nature, telling her | had r.
terrible spell Of the collie. Said She:
I'll go and fetch mother; cause. stranger.
L do rcck hSshe'S tho awfuleSt best hand for
curln' collie in the whole Wabash hotcom.'
She went into another part Of the house,
and ten minutes after one Of the upl;">t, sal
lowest lttlest old woman | ever saw in anv
part Of the civilized world came hobbling in.
This tearfully and wonderfully ugly old woman,
stepping close in front Of me and STOPPING for
ward, said:
6 Stranger, Betsey Jane tells me she reckons
you've got the COLES powerful. Now I've bin
50 myself nigh to a hundred times, | reckon,
in the cowcumber season; and Bctscy Jane,
shes bin that way Richard he 81 bin that way,
and the bigg st end Of the rest Of the family"
Producing muSket ball-an ounce bullet Of
lead-shc assured me that | would be all right
in five minutes after swallowing it; that lead
ed, and hardly knowing what | did, | seized
the bullet, and, with single gulp, down it
went. No sooner was it down, than repented
of having swallowed it. remembered to have
heard that lead was poisonous Starting up,
| cried out
You old wretch, you have killed me Lead
is a deadly poison. can feel it cold in my sto-
mach now 1t will kill mel"
: Ha, ha, ha! :" laughed the old crone ; in a
shrill cracked voice" kill yer! don't poster
yerself with the idea Why, stranger, that GuL-
ICt s Geet !" The Jamiy nigh on to treuty gears.
Richard, he has swallowed it the biggest end
Of the children, they We swallowed it and I've
swallowed it myself nigh on to forty times"
" Iou?' | cried, starting from my seat
" I1u' &c swallowed this same bulet?'
" Sartin that same bullet every cowcumber
season for nigh twenty year
You old devil cried, as | rushed from
the house
\ few minutes after, there might have been
seen a very sick looking young man leaning
across rail-fence in the vicinity.
Smyrna times., 1865-09-20

mOnds. OF public amusements it is the same
The most magnificent fireworks are still to be
seen. in India and China; and as regards the
pastimes of private life, neither America nor
Europe has produced an invention that can ri
val the game of chess. We have no hydraulic
constructions as extensive as the Chinese Wall ::
we have no artesian wells that can at all an,
proach in depth some of theirs. We have not
yet resorted to the practice of obtaining coal
gas from the interior of the earth: they have
borings for that purpose more than 5000 feet
deem
Smyrna times., 1865-09-20
Singular Resemblance.

1t is no new thing to say that twins have
been known to be actuated by the same i'm
pulses, tastes and desires, but it is rare thing
to hear this averred on oath. n case of the
kind, however, occurred in French Court of
Justice. quite recently Four children-Ar-
thur Persico aged eleven; Prosper Marteau.
aged thirteen; and two twin brothers. aged
eleven years and six months-we:e placed be-
fore the magistrate for stealing sundry articles
from the stalls on which they were exhibited
Their parents, as is customary in France, were
summoned before the tribunal, as civilly res
pOnsible. The whole of them confessed to
their offences, and their parents. all of them
honest work people, begged the magistrate to
give them up to them,' and not send them to
house of correction. The mother of the twins
made the following curious statement concern
ing them:
" My two children are twins, and, strange to
say, whatever one does the other does also
they have the same tastes, the same habits
the same thoughts, good or bad they are not
vicious, but when one runs away from home.
the other follows him. Since last January we
have kept them shut up in doors like slaves. to
keep them from running about the streets and
getting into mischief My husband had deci-
ded on sending them to sea, for we had found
out that they had robbed US fsOme small coins
which happened to be left about, but we had
no idea that they had committed thefts out of
doors. We sent them to the national schools,
but we know now they have not been there for
several months. A boy named Persico corrup-
ted one of them, and the other followed, as
matter of course.
You say, said the magistrate, " that your
children are twins, and have the same charac-
ter and the same tastes?"
g Yes sir; and there is singular resemblance
il their actions, thoughts and desires Thus,
when one drinks, the other who may be in
another room, drinks also. Under the same
conditions, if one puts finger in his mouth,
the other does likewise If at any time one
should happen to run away from his home
there is no difficulty in finding him. for their
father has only to take hold of the other, and
he will lead him direct to the place where the
rnnaMav may then chance to be y
Smyrna times., 1865-09-20
The First Chime Of Bells in America

Philadelphia can claim the credit of having
had the first chime of bells ever used in this
country. They were brought over in the Mr.
tatd, by Captain Budden, a relative Of Lieu
tenant Budden, of the Philadelphia Light
Horse. They were purchased in London in
the year 1854, at a cost of ESQ sterling. The
whole weight of the bells was 9,O4O lbs, ; the
largest weighing 2,040 lbs. These bells are
now hung in Christ Church, Philadelphia, and
are chimed on Sundays and holidays, and upon
such other times as requested. On the largest
bells is the following inscription: "Christ
Church, Philadel phia-This bell and the rest
of the peal were cast by Lester l. Pack, of the
Whitechapel Bell Foundry, London, l754 re-
cast at the same foundry, 1885
An old Philadelphia religious paper contains
the following The chime of bells now belong
ing to Christ Church, in this city, was brought
over from England by Il Captain Budden, with
out charge Of freight. Being the first set OF
bells that reached this country they attracted
great attention, and when put into the steeple
were rung for some time, to the qualification
ofthe natives. In order to afford the country
people an opportunity of hearing these won
derful sounds, it was agreed to have the bell,
chimed on the evening preceding market days
and crowds of the country folks would drepail
to the church in order to witness the operation
of ringing, a curiosity which the ringers tool
care to turn to their own advantage by claim
| ing fee. We have been told by an old anC
highly respectable citizen that Captain Builder
became 80 important parsonage, from beins
the bearer of the bells, that they were univer
sally rung whenever his vessel arrived in port
We are informed by DIR. Glentworth, of New
York city, a grandson of Captain Budden, ina a
when any of the family of the captain died, o.
when his ships arrived at port, the bells alsC
were tolIed. This was done as he had refused
any compensation for his trouble in brngin.
the bells to this country, and merely requested
that at his death they should be muffled with
out charge. y Herald
Smyrna times., 1865-09-20

to Seaforth he was again beset by some of the
gang, but the vigorous use of loaded horse
whip made his progress comparatively easy
and he escaped the second time. Harrie has
discovered that Canada is a nard road lo l. av-
el, and he will probably avoid Bayfield, and the
James River hereafter
Smyrna times., 1865-09-20

A LITTLE Too RIPE.-As many of our rea-
ders are doubtless aware, it was the custom for
planters at the South to purchase clothing for
their slaves by the wholesale and as, Ofcourse,
they had not the opportunity to examine close
ly each article, they were sometimes swndled,
by few bad ones being thrown in among the
good. An acquaintance of ours tells us that
on one occasion he laid in a box of shoes, and
distributed them among the negroes. A few
days afterwards "Old Bob favorite SER
want, found that the shoes which had fallen to
his lot were bursting out. So, going to his
master, he said
Massa, where you buy desc shoes?"
81 bought them in New Orleans, Bob, re-
sponded our friend.
well. whar did de New Orleans people buy
emp"
''They bought them from the people up
North They bought them from the Yankees.
"Well, whar do de Yankees get emp per-
sisted the negro.
"The Yankees?-why, they pick them off
of trees, Bob.
"Wel, responded the darkey, holding up
his shoes, g | reck n dc Yankee didn't pick
desc pair soon enough massa | reck II he wal
ted till dey was little too ripe
Smyrna times., 1865-09-20

THE SOUTHERN METHODIST CHURCH The
Christian 4drocate and Journal of this week
contains the following suggestion from Bishop
Ames concerning the Southern churches:
The southern bishops say that they are at
a loss to conceive by what shadow of right, lie
Gal or moral, the property is held by the pres
ent occupants. | am sorry the bishops are SO
ignorant of the facts. am happy to inform
them, and all concerned that the authority by
which the property alluded to was taken pos
session of, was the only authority which at the
time, and still, so far as | know could enforce
obedience to law, and maintain order in the re
bellious States. And | now propose to the
bishops and TO all other parties interested, that
Chct Justice Chase shall decide the question
of title to the property referred to, and that all
shall abide by his decision in the premises, and
hereby pledge myself land doubt not my
colleagues in the episcopacy will do the same
that should the decision be in favor of the
Church South | will at once withdraw all the
ministers whom have appointed to conduct
divine services in these churches referred to,
provided the authority by which | now occupy
them allows me to do So Of which | have no
doubt think if the Southern bishops arc
as confident of their title to the property as
they appear to be, they will not hesitate thus
to submit the question to the decision of the
highest judicial officer in the Government.
Smyrna times., 1865-09-20

The poverty and suffering of the people of
Virginia are described as very great. People
enjoying riches before the evacuation of Rich
mOnd are to-day forced by their necessities to
beg for bread. A relative of Chief Justice
Marshall, and one Of Thomas Jefferson, have
each recipients of such charity. The Govern
ment, however disposed, is unable to be almO-
ner to the people of State. The sutferings
of these people have therefore claim in hui
means to supply their wants. twill take time
to reorganize labor so that each individual can
apply himself entirely to it, and the misfortune
is that these sufeTings, having never before
known what it was to want have no faculty at
all for turning their knowledge or experience
to their own advantage for their daily support
Many Of them are aged persons, unable to la.
Dor, and deprived by war of support from their
children.
Smyrna times., 1865-09-20
HOW IT HAPPENED.

While moving in the graceful dance,
And trying every charm t enhance,
She paused, and blushed, while DER
Her cheek ran tears! Her pride was crushed:
The strings she trusted to had burst:
Her hoops lay on the floor.
She gathered them up, and ran as speedily
as possible into the dressing-room, and tlom
thence home; and for several weeks was seen
no more.
Smyrna times., 1865-09-20

How TT STRUCK HM-A gentleman, about
whose Teutonic origin there could be but one
opinion, was passing along the street few days
since, when he came to a halt before one of the
huge posters announcing the coming of the
panorama of Paradise Lost. He read the line:
"A Rebellion in Heaven!'' when he broke
forth as follows "A Rebellion in Heaven!
mine Got that last not long nOw-Onkel Abe
ish fare 20
Smyrna times., 1865-09-20

CAN'T SEE'T-There is a divine out West
irving to persuade the girls to forego marriage.
He might as we'll try to persuade ducks that
they could find a substitute for water, or rose
buds that there is something better for their
complexion than sunshine. The only convert
he has made is a single lady, aged sweet sixty
nina
Smyrna times., 1865-09-20

TIGHT SQUEEZE. young man recently
having succeeded, after much persuasion; IN
getting kiss from a girl, went and told of it.
One Of her acouaintances met her, and said,
$50 Mary, John says that you let him kiss
Ibid LET him. after he had teased me aa
bour. bnt # was a tight squeeze even then"
$50 hoT exclaimed the other, . he did not
n,antion that >"
Smyrna times., 1865-09-20

"You have been sorely tried, said SYM
pathizing friend to Joe Crowden, weeping over
the coffin of his third wife. "Yes," respond
ed the bereaved one, Il have, sft sys had the
dreadfulest luck with women
Smyrna times., 1865-09-20

Your friend will bear anything but the truth;
tell him that, he becomes your enemy.
Dayton daily empire. [volume] (Dayton [Ohio]) 1850-1865, 1865-09-13
MeoiraI.
suocess in Businesa.

No business can be trul- successful which Is not
founded on real fitness ofthngs. The article mads
or sold must have intrinsic merit and supply publi
want Success issuing from the clap trap or adyertiH
ing, or the tricks oftrade or mere pretension and
ceive the operator and those who trust him But n
an article supplies public want aud falry meets ia
reasonaple expectations, is success aud general
adopuon ~ merely question oftiine. tmay bo
retarded by atverse Influences sped by prospering
gales 6nt a tn the end 4 is sure 70 win.
HUMPHREYS HOMEOPATHIC SPECIFICS had
their origin IN great public want medicines for all
the common wants OF enlignted life-curat,es that
father, mother nurse, traveller could always have
with them an always rely upon- 40 siInpls ibat ,is
take could not be made In the selection, so harmless
mat al might use them with impunty, and efficient
that all might rely upon them with safety Such they
have proved Thousands Of families use them daily
Tor all the alment and sicknesses Of life and rarely
are seriously sick, or ave need TO call physician
Thousands, taking some single specific have cured
themselves Of chrome diseases which have been the
bane OF their lives, and upon which they have spent
hundreds in vain, and among the millions who use
them none are found to question their purity eff
HUmPHREYss SPECIFICS
combine all the advantages Of the best Homeopathic
treatment, without Ia int cacy uncertainty They
are preparedby n rhysieian of over twenty years
Homeopathic experience; they have been tried in
every conceivable manner, and they have been
the hundreds Of thousands who daily use them.
with n case in your house,
you may prevent sickness, prevent suffering prevent
expense, and loss OF time, or the children having the
Measles or Scarlet Fever, or Whoopng. cough OF
You may cure Y0HE Children
OfCroup, or Collie, tr Toohsche, or Headache, or
Sleeplessness, or b1fsrnR from Teethng, or Worms,
or Indigestion. or Wettng tbs Bel, or Calafrh, OF
Measles, or Whooping. Cough, or Scarlet Fever, or
Dipthe ria, or Bad Cold or Hoarseness, Running
otihe Ears and Deafness, or even Scrofula as thou.
sands have done and do daily.
You may cure yourself
or Headache, Weak stomach, indigestion, or
Blilousness, Catarrh, or bad Cold, or Sore
Throat, or Hoarseness, or Llyer Complain or pies
or Constipation, or Rheumatism, or Sore or Weak
Eyes, or Salt Rheum, or Kidney Disease, or General
Debility, or even Asthma, with these Specifics
NOT FAM lily who have ever had one of these
Family Cases OF HUHPHREYs' SPEoIFIcs but would
give five times its cost rather than be wthoutit.
FAMILY CASES.
Case Of SO large walls, in morocco, and Book of
w
Case OF ~ large ylss, IN morocco and Book, 90
Case OF 20 large vals, in morocco, and Book. on
Case OF 20 large walls, in PLAN and Book. 90
Case OF 10 boxes mo. to l6), and Book..,... 90
Case OF any six boxes mo. to l5) and Book. l 20
Dayton daily empire. [volume] (Dayton [Ohio]) 1850-1865, 1865-09-13
Treasurer Kenney.

Jonathan Keuney, Esq, who has for sew
Jral years past held the Office Of county treas.
urer, has retired from that position, and is
succeeded BY Daniel stalsy, ESQ, the pres
ent incumbent
At the meeting of the County Commission
era on the FIRST Monday Of the present month
they adjourned over until yesterday, without
making 6ual settlement with Mr.. Kenney.
for the reason that the balance sheet of the
County Auditor was not ready. At the same
time they left in the hands of Mr.. Kenney
the sum Of $23s,OO aud over, and also tho
keys Of the TFeasu'er's Office, although, by
the expiration Of Mr.. Kenney's term Of office,
bis securities we're released from obligation
We regard this q high compliment to Mr.
Kenney, and aattering evidence of the con
fdence reposed in him BY the Commissioner.
Yesterday, Mr.. Kenney paid over to his
Successor the above amount of $233, 900, all
his accounts having been satisfactorily adj
justed, and he has retired to the avocatons Of
private life, with the full consciousness that
he has honestly and faithfully discharged his
duties as public officer
Dayton daily empire. [volume] (Dayton [Ohio]) 1850-1865, 1865-09-13
DEMOCRATIC COUNTY TICKET.
Current News Items.

The Treasurer of State, Mr.. Dorsey, was
arrested on Monday last, at Columbus, on a
criminal warrant charging him with "bresches
Of trust and embezzlemeut" The Sheriff, in
making the arrest, was accompanied by Gov.
ernor Anderson
The Treasurer was not disposed to sur
render either the keys of the safe or the Of
fee. Tho former was arranged by the Gov
sruor taking charge of one of the keys of the
safe, aud Mr.. Dorsey of the other. The Office
was declared vacant by the Governor, in a
public notice, in accordance with the law in
such cases made and provided,
Mr.. Dorsey will contest the right of the
Governor to declare the Office Of Treasurer
vacant, and will apply for a writ of quo todr.
ranto next week, on the meeting Of the Su-
preme Court
Fenianism is growing stronger in Ireland,
and the Irish papers do not hesitate in thus
announcing their convictions.
There was protrscted Cabinet meeting
yesterday, but nothing of Importance was
transacted.
A destructive fire was yesterday raging ia
the woods near Bangor, Maine, threatening
general destruction and destroying much val
liable property. 'I.
Chase, Greeley, Batler & Co. are to be
present at a negro Convention, soon to be
holden in Raleigh. 4....
The military are soon to be withdrawn
from Virginia
Dayton daily empire. [volume] (Dayton [Ohio]) 1850-1865, 1865-09-13
Negro Equality.

Republicans are arguing in favor Of
negro suffrage and equality. 1t is urged
that as negroes have been made soldiers
"and have fought for the Union," they
should now be permitted to exercise the
elective franchise. In answer to this
position ga soldier" thus writes to the
Hartford Times "Were this true, should
there not be distinction made between
those negroes who voluntarily enlisted and
those who were forced to don the blue
The usual mode of enlisting darkies was
this Some officer empowered to recruit
would hear that there was to be negro
meeting, or negro ball, near the station.
After the darkies had collected, a guard
would be sent with orders to arrest all the
able-bodied negroes and bring them to
headquarters. The negroes would be
brought, examined, and forthwith forced
into the service. Or the negr oes on some
plantation would be seized and treated in
a similar manner. OF all the negro sol
diers in the army, l do not believe that
more than one-fourth voluntarily entered
the service.
"During our former wars, Indians fought
for us. Even at as early day as during
Phillips War, Colonel Church was as.
sisted to victory by Indian allies. Yet no
party was ever foolish enough to declare
that Indians should be permitted to vote,
and insist that the Constitution Of the
United States should be SO amended as to
give them that right"
Dayton daily empire. [volume] (Dayton [Ohio]) 1850-1865, 1865-09-13
Governor Anderson.

We admire the spirit displayed by Gov
ernor Anderson in having State Treasurer
Dorsey arrested but we have no doubt
many of his republican friends will ques-
ton the discretion" of the act. For is
not Dorsey "loyal'' man, and has he
not time and again made speeches to the
returning soldiers, telling them how he
had been lighting rebels in the rear"
while they were fighting them in the front?
The "logic of events" is crowding our
"loyap friends to the wall. Negro-equal-
ity, partisan Legislation, peculation and
defalcation, with the prospect of great
deal more rascality coming, is a pretty
heavy load to carry this hot weather.
Dayton daily empire. [volume] (Dayton [Ohio]) 1850-1865, 1865-09-13

you may prevent sickness, prevent suffering, preve
expense and loss Of time, or the children having tn
Measles, or Scarlet Fever, or Whoopng cough,
even Fever, by using preyentves in the case.
Dayton daily empire. [volume] (Dayton [Ohio]) 1850-1865, 1865-09-13
Changing Votes.

We hear daily of large numbers of men who
have heretofore been acting with the Black
Republican party who have become disgusted
with the corruption of that party and are
going to vote this fall for General Morgan
for Governor. From the vicinity of Saline
vile alone we are assured that more than
twenty votes will be changed from Black to
White, from Abolition to Democratic. They
ara determined to vote in favor of the White
man, even If they do vote directly against the
niger Ohio Patriot. IE n.i