The Cleveland leader. [volume] (Cleveland [Ohio]) 1865-1865, 1865-08-05

. I UUAl6 = all
HOh. rubbishT' I exclaimed, wishing {
cover her ignorance, none of your chat
Grimley, for it's not required. shall sls
at home unless it's settled very soon.
10 This frightened Mrs. Cooler, l can TEL
Il you. She turned pale. l saw the chang
distinctly he turned very pale, an
D, gssped out rather than spoke the follow
l. ing : o sr5l
It NMrs. Macintosh has told me of q de
/. Gehtlul place on the - coast q lowell
/ spot which is hardly known yet a wonder
Y ful place for children, and very, very gen
v teel." t-s ifstn
vi Reader, q word in your ear. Whenevei
g you hear q spot being described as g HwOn
= derful place for children" avoid it. Re
member you are not q child, and go some
t where else.
sHAnd what's the name of it. my DEAR
| Iaeked. -as. a tf.- srs
-"Mudville,F replied my wife with q side
look at Grimley, for she expected he would
1 make one of his vulgar ~sslirical remarks
upon it.
"Well,"'he said, las 1 knew he would, }
it sounds very pretty; quite inviting, l
may say;;" and he chuckled. He had q
! peculiar ehuekle,- something like the laugh
Of the hyenA, only more horrible.
l felt bound to rush 10 the rescue.
"a HAYS no doubt that if Mrs. Mackin-
tosh says it is dice, it's nice" l observed.
My wife gave me q grateful tqueeze of
the hand under the table, which brought
the tears into my eyes for she is a muscu-
lar woman, though short of stature.
Has she ever been there, mum 2" asked
Grimley.
"No, she hasn't" replied Mrs. c., snap
pishly "but she has friends who have, and
1 can trust her"
EAh can Cooler that's the thing"
said Grimley, wiLh-s twinkle Of his evil
eye. This was q sly dig at my business, a
subject upon which l allow no man TO Joke.
l drew myself up. 1 am not tall, but even
my enemies admit that I'm digniAed, and
placing my head bsek-my favorite posi-
ton when DESTROYS of being impressive-I
thus addressed the s~atiricsl Grimley:
"Grimley, you are an old friend. AS the
poet says, we were boys together but 1
will not allow you TO throw my shop in my
teeth in the presence of the gentler sex
Don't do it again, Grimley, because 1 don't
like it" Then tuning to my wife, 1 said,
with q sudden Transition of manner from
the imperially severe to the domestically
gentle, my love, We go to Midwife on
Mondsy!lna
Going TO Midwife, and getting there,
are; Ibeg to state, two very different maj
tiers. The spirit may be willing, but the
railway arrangements are worse than weak,
the train putting you down at very con-
siderable distance from your destination.
We started-seH and wife, my son
Christopher, aged nine, my nurse, Sarah
Nsggles (estimsble but warm tempered)
and my infant, Redistribution the station
after breakfast, and the train put US down
at Marlborough, and left us looking dis
consolstely at our boxes on the platform,
and wondering whether we should get a fly,
for we were some miles from Mudville,
and we'd a good deal of luggags-we al
ways have. We didn't wonder long. The
Interesting Stranger soon ferreted out a
fly, and q pretty specimen of a fly it was
But first, touching tbs Interesting Stran-
ger. He was q remarkably good looking
person, that is for these who admire tall
people-I don't; Aittte and goods my
motto. He had s slight tendency of blood
tothe nose, but, Is my wife remarked, that
might have been constitutional he had
very large, and certainly very bushy wills
kers, though they we're not things 1 ever
admired much, looking a good deal like
blaeking brushes, / think and though I've
not the slightest symptom of them myself,
l don't envy those who have EN-, not 1.
He parted his hair down the middle ian
idiotic fashion, only fit for women but
that's neither heTeshor therel and he wore
his seaside hat in q jaunty name and
wss altogether rolfieking, and perhaps a
trife Vsgsbondish Looking. However, 1
never judges man by his appearance, and
L must admit he was very polite. He
talKed politics to me, for he had got into
the same carriage with US as we werestsrt-
ing, hoping he didn't inconvenience us,
and not shyibg the least bit at the baby
he handed my wife the paper; he snapped
his fingers at Roderick; and he threw
Christopher into commissions by showing
him some tricks with half-pence, and imi-
tating the man who came around for the
tickets. We were quite delighted TO hear
he was going to Mudvills; we were sure of
one pleasant acquaintance there at all
events l never saw my wife so pleased
with anybody in my life, for she generally
puts on q naughty way with strangers,
which 1 have heard before today described
rs " queenly; " for she is chary of making
acquaintance, and never fOrgets her fam.
lily, who, between ourselves, were against
her marrying me, especially her Un-
Gle Benjamin, who was a something
or other under government in foreign
parts, and came home with q pension,
and no liver TO speak of. AristOcratic in 3
small way was Mrs. Q. befJre she conde-
scended TO smile on Christopher Cooler, 1
can tell you; and she had refused a half
pay officer, q young man high up in the
Customs, and 3 distiller with q beautiful
house at BrixtoD, previous 20 my popping
the question. So considering all things, l
WAS surprised TO see how sfiable she was
with the Interesting Stranger bound for
Midwife. When the Interesting Strsng-
er-who, TO save, trouble, l will, if you
don't mind, denominate 1, Sound us
rueiully cycling our luggage at the station,
be smilingly came to our assistance, and
pounced upon 8 fly ike-lke . spider.
Then he helped to pile our luggage on to
the roof, and bullied and csjoled the stupid
driver into an almost wskeful condition,
and so at last we found ourselves on the
road to Mudville and later on al that re-
tired. spot.
Midwife was one of those places that
beggsr description. It was small and mel ]
sncholy, a wretched, little - but there, {
/ won't attempt it. We had been ]
recommended TO the apartments Of Mrs.
Grogrum's. and thither we drove. {
Mrs. Grogrum's front apartments looked {
on to the sea, and by an ingenious ar '
raDgsment the builder had contrived that l
the back. windows also gave you q fine
view of the ocean. Mrs. GrOgrum's house 7
Was built d~iagonally Il think that's the c
word(, and it seemed TO me 10 catch every
wind that blew. 1t was plentlfully supplied 7
with windows too, n they ratified de-
lightfully without cessing. 1
Mrs. Grogrum was q fery-faced female, q
with the most obtrusiVe black "front' l
ever Jaw. l believe that front to have d
been made of horsehsir, it was so shiny,
stiff, and undeceptive. From 8 casual t
glance at the Iubicund features of Mrs.
G., 1 came TO q hssty conclusion that she I
addicted 70 ardent liquors. I was not I
surprised at this, as it is not altogether I'M s
with brandy and watering plsee q
lsndlsdies. Pardon my humble Joke, it a
shah be my last. The instant we were
Though we were q long time com- ?
10 terms with the one-eyed fy-driver,
who was pertinscious, insolent, and sppa-
rently in 8 chronic state of inebriety(, my C
went out to see what we could have :