Columbia Democrat and Bloomsburg general advertiser. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1850-1866, 1865-11-11
IFor the Columbia DomocTatl
Lessons in Division, Fits and
Heifer's Dogology.


Lessons in Division, Fits and
Heifer's Dogology.
Mr.. Editor A writer in provincial
paper says "ln certain church in Yer.
mont, the other Sunday, the singers might
have been heard proclaiming q curious
aud exciting, bat not very agreeable en-
pursuit in the following line OF
a hymn -
wen catch the fee
Wen catch the n e.,
Wen catch the hec--ting fading hour"
But this not more ludicrous than an in
cident which occurred to the writer, who
on entering a chapel one day, heard three
woll-grown women, singing with might
and man -
"Give me man
Give me a man
Give me a an sion in the skies"
But the above are entirely eclipsed by
the following I0dical effusion which a
boy lately put forth in corn field not a
hundred miles from "Pralor Town." in
Columbia county, Pa.
This Poetry was sung to the tune of
"RQguS March," and sounded very 'ap.
pros ON the sweet morning air -
"John Pec-John Pee
John Pee John Pee la
Had h-had IA III.
/ Just btors re rs-perting ddy"
Doubtless the reader will say, "Poeta
masilar ct now fit
Now, Mr.. Editor, In giving publicity
TO the above important event, | would not
have you, nor your numerous readers,
thiuk that am j1ki"s No, sir, not for
one moment would joke on so serious an
affair as D'ajted man having fit, and
one of the Loyal stripe, at that who
always said ''if he was drafted HR would
90, yes, that HE would And no doubt
he would have gone right off, that is, |
don't know exactly where, If be had not
been over-takrn by that pltaugy i'll, which
had not been Gu han for ten or twelve
years before, but had to come p"p.n right
back unto him lu,t Il few hours betote re
porting day
Just think Of that once. The awful
Draft, how sit did give some people fits,
aud this the said JJhn Peela could prove
by his own son, good honest bo, who
was with his daddy in the field and saw
the fit pop right a. him, aud cast him, the
said John, (although very hearty stout
man lie i,) strait on his broad back, will
his legs drawn up in regular ft-iorm and
his eyes wnkiDg ard asqinkipg like u
small volcano splitting fire.
low lucky some men are Well, bet
ter orn lucky than rich. Now, you see
if the said John had no; been so lucky a,
to have that boy of tho right age, at the
right place, and at the right time, he cou .
not have proUca the right-ft Just befor,
reporting day
But LUCKY John, had all those prerequi
sites, and hehc4 the Union Army, (tha
is, Union with the nigger) was deprived
Of brave O. stout soldier. But his Deal
FAMILY were still blest with HEALTHY
able bodied Farmer aud some unlucky
Democrat had to leave his poor ,tunuil
aud 60 and fill the said Johu's place II
the ranks, and fight for the Constitution
the Union and the Flag.
Bat one more shortchopter, and drol
my pen, for the present. There is SOM
body in our county, q think it sin t
name NAM called "PrOftSSJ Petler.
have seen the C'e4h,ue few times, ant
it was no great sight, l tell you Sir. Bu
the Professor saw Man called White
night, sat on election day," and that wa
a sight worth seeing | tell you now. Bl
forbear to give the particulars of that in
tereSting interview about iue Dogs an
Dunn Heifers. This Professor is called
Ieele', l don't p,e eteud to know what h
r undertakes 10 PseL; certainly not White
, NIGHT. but perhaps Rutan's Heyer, {
his FINE Doc S TAIL
OBSERVER.