The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1865-04-08
How Tom Corwin Rid his Sister of
an Obnoxious Lover.
BY A WESTERN NAN.

Every one has heard of the eloquent, pa
thetic, and humorous stump orator Of Ohio
He was pronounced by Mr.. Clay Ia most
competent authority, TO be the finest stump
speaker he had ever heard and in this
opinion / most heartily coincide, after hav-
ing heard Clay, Crittenden, Jones of Ten
nessee, ,sP ok, Benjamin, SouIe, Randall
Hunt, Tom Marshall, Gen. Lamar, Bates,
Douglas and host of others. =
Well, this great orator carried his love
Of fun into every department Of lie. In
the private circle, where he knew every
person, and where he umbosomed himself
fully, he was the most delightful and ge-
nial conversationalst ever listend to. I
do not know that he now, as age and mfr
nifty are creeping on, INDUCES this procliv-
ity to humor so much as he used to do
But some twenty years ago he used to tell,
with great gusto, the following story:
'In early life-sO early that cannot re-
member the removal-my father pulled up
stakes and carrying with him the house
hold goods, went from Bourbon county,
Kentucky, where was born, to Ohio
Notwithstanding rough and tumble strug-
gle with the world, he had hard time TO
get on, owing to numerous and rapidly
increasing family. Well, family matters
had not much improved when | had reach
ed my thirteenth or fourteenth year.
"At this time there lived in the neigh.
borhood young man by the name of Picker
ing. He had inherited we'll stocked farm,
was good-looking and made a strong pro-
fession of religion. This latter qualifica-
tion caused him to find peculiar favor in the
eyes of my father, who always was blinded
by professions of extra piety.
"Ths fellow had strong hankering af-
ter one of my sisters who was very pretty
girl. To her he was peculiarly distasteful.
She seemed always excessively annoyed at
his presence. Yet he was ever at her side
She dared not dismiss him entirely, for fear
Of the paternal anger. Things went on in
this way year or two, and as / partook
largely Of my sisters hatred to him, resolv-
ed to get rid of him in some way. | cast
about for plan for some time, but nothing
occurred which gave me the slightest hope
Of being successful.
cat last returning home late one sum.
mer night from mill, found the family at
their nightly devotions. Passing by the
windows of the room in which they were
assembled | saw that Pickering was there,
and pretty soon discovered that be was
nodding, and finally his head dropped
Now was my opportunity. stole silly in
to the hall, and reaching the hall door,
which was slightly ajar, aud close by which
Pickering was 'on bended knee reached
in, and quickly pulling his chair.from under
him. he rolled heavily, as sound sleeper
would upon the floor. The noise alarmed
ALL The old gentleman stopped in the
midst Of his almost interminable prayer,
and saw the position of Pickering. ALI
the family laughed outright; even my
mother smiled
"Pickering endeavored to pick himself
up as rapidly as possible, but he had touch
ed the old man upon his tenderest point
1t was evident, from his rubbing his eyes,
that he had slept under the old gentleman s
minstrations and had not my father rep
utation far and wide for the fervency and
strength of his ministrations, and was not
Pickering his protesting brother? Slowly
yet most dighifedly did the old man ap.
proach him. 'Begone hypocrltc !! he cried
in laundering tones. Never enter my
house again
"Pickering was thunderstruck. He felt
that he could make no apolgy which would
not auU TO insult. he Hau no SuSplcIOu vi
the extra force which had aided him in his
fall. He at once found his hat, took uT
his line Of march, and, completely crestfal
len,, passed by me as stood grinning in
the shadow of the porch.
At suitable time entered got my
supper, was told by brother in hurried
whispers. what had happened, and then ]
stole off to bed affecting ignorance, and
laughing most heartily as ensconded my
self in the sheets, at the complete success
of my plan.
met day cautiously impaired my secret
to my sister. She was in her own room al
the time, and she threw herself upon the
bed and rolled in agonies and commissions
of laughter. She had been emancipated
forever from the obnoxious lover. The old
gentleman did not hear the real state o
thefacts for full twenty years afterwards
but when he did he laughed heartily"