davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1865-03-01
MISCELLANEOUS,
Case of Monomania.

The Pennsylvania tells the following story
OF an eccentric old monomaniac in Philadel.
phla. 1t is the strangest case, and at the
same time the funniest we have read for a
long time:
A hypochondriacal old fell1w named
Aaron Simms, who lately was engaged ia
the grocery business somewhere in Elbert
street, has conceived the ridiculous idea
that he is the Old Scratch Some time ago
he gave orders to sigh painter to prepare
him board With this inscription Satan,
Grocer and Tea Dealer in large gilt letters
The sign was painted according 10 directions,
but the friends OF the monomaDac inter.
fered, and prevented it from being put up
his customers, not liking the idea of
dealing with the devil, dropped off, except
one knavish old negro named David Can
tie, who, by hum0rng the luuatic, contrived
to swindle him out of goods to . considera.
ble amount. A cousin OF Mr. Smms, who
thougl it expedient to keep watch over
the conduct OF his insane relative, was in
the back part OF the store one evening, when
Simms, alias Satan, stood behind the counter
At this time the negro, Dave Cantle, hap
pened to come in, and the cousin not being
perceived by him, commenced conversation
with Simms to the following purport:
i say, old boss devil, want a few more
things on that account, you know
Its all squared up, David, answered
Simms. Here it is posted in my ledger:
Dave Camille, dentor to six pounds of sugar
ipr'y eight cents four pounds coffee, sixty
lour cents; TWO gallons molasses, sixty
cents, and SO on, about forty different
items, the sum total just twenty five dollars.
And here OH this side, Dave CuntIe, credit
hv one soul twenty Eve dollars, to he taken
s1t in trade That account, is closed up.
aid fellow; you cant get another soul TO
trade away on the same terms
Look here, boss answered Dave, in a
tone OF expostuIalion, 4 otter hear the
devil has no conscience. and now | begin
10 believe it. You are going to allow me
only twenty five dollars tor that soul, an
it, worth fifty
4 have given you what we agreed on
replied Simms Besides, | can buy lots
Tor half the money
But, mister devil, you must consider
that took it out in trade; that makes
ditference.-A nigger's soul is cash
article; but | want what is right; so you
must bleege me with two gallons more of
lasscs, and four quarts more Of peas, and
LII throw in the soul of my wife. Then
you'll get fust rate bargin.'
At this juncture Mr.. Simm's cousin
thought it proper to interfere The friends
of the monomaniac deemed it expedint to
shut up the store, and they have taken
measures to place the imaginary satan
under guardianship.
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1865-03-01
The Monkey and the Drunkard.

The Monkey and the Drunkard.
Ir. Pollard states that in his drinking
days he was the companion of man in
Arundel county, Maryland, who had a
monkey which he valued at tn ousand
dollars. awe always took him ut On
our chestnut parties. He shook off all our
chestnuts for us, and when he could no
longer shake them off, be w1nid 20 to the
cry end of the imb aud knock them off
with his fist One day, we stopped at
tavern and drank freely About halt
glass OF whisky was left, and Jack took the
glass and drank it it all up. Soon he VS.
merry, skipped, hoped, and danced, and
set US all 10 roar OF laughter. Jack was
drunk
We all agreed, six of US, that we would
come TO the tavern next day, and get Jack
drunk again, and have sport all day. |
called at my friends house next morning,
and we went out for Jack Instead OF be
ing as usual in his box, he was not to be
seen We looked inside, and he was
crouched up III a heap, Come out
here" said his master. Jack came out
on three legs; his lore paw was on his head.
Jack had the head ache knew what was
the matter with him. He felt just as felt
many morning Jack was sick ami couldn't
go. S. we waited three days. We then
went, and while drinking, glass was pro
videi for Ja;k But where was he?
Skulking behind the chairs. "Como here
Jack, and i,ink," said his master, holding
out the glass to him. Jack retrea.ed, and
as the door opened, slipped out, and in a
moment was on the top of the house. His
master went out to call him down, but he
would not come. He got cow skin and
shook it at him. Jack sat on the ridge
pole and refused to obey. A monkey IS
much afraid of gun. Jack slipped over
the back side Of the house. His master
then got two guns, and had one pointed at
each side of the house, when the monkey
seeing his bad predicament, at once whipped
up the chimney and got down in one OF
the fues holding on BY one Of his fore
paws! The master was beaten. The man
kept that monkey twelve years; but could
never persuade him to taste another
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1865-03-01

NoTE.-The Pittsburgh and Erie Express
leaves east and west daily except Sunday
Baltimore Express west daily except Monday;
Philadelphia Express east and west daily
Fast Line east daily except Monday and west
daily except Sunday; Fast Mail east daily ex-
cept Sunday; Mail Train west daily except
Sunday; Harrisburg Accomm ndatiun east dali
ly except Sunday. and Emigrant west daily
excent Monday.
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1865-03-01
NATHANIEL KENNEDY'S
. T q r e,
In the Odd Fellows Hall.

Very Choice Assortment OF Old Liquors,
I OFFER ior sale all the liquors, late the
| stock .t john Kennedy. decd. embracing
a,,me French Bra' dy, Cherry Brandy, Gin,
WINES, Jamaica Spirits and Scotch Ale. lo
eel keepers are requested to call.
2sxa~ Physicians can always obtain pure
afficie far the sick.
ALSO,
Foreign and Domestic Dry Goods. Groceries,
Qneensware. Stoneware, Hardware, Cedar
sare always on hand; Shoulders, Hams, Fish.
lierrug, Shad. and Mackerel Dried Beef of
- mosr excellent quality; with Boots and Shoes
in great variety. All the goods will be sold
very low. n. KENNEDY.
Lewistown, January Is, 1861.
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1865-03-01
Photographic Albums.

We were the first to Introduce these into
the United States. and we manufacture i'm
mense quantities in great variety, ranging in
price from so cents to $50 each. Our Al
buns have the reputation of being superior
in beauty and durability to any others. They
will be sent by mail. free, on receipt of pri, e.
s9 Fine albums made to order. ~gsa
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1865-03-01

ES- CalbraItil's OIunibuses convey passengers to
and from all the trains. taking up or setting them
iovn at all points within the borough limits.
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1865-03-01
STEREOSCOPIC VIEWS

Of these we have an Immense assortment, in
Guiding War Scenes American and Foreign
Cities and Landscapes, Groups, Statuary, &c :,
&c. Also, Revolving Stereoscupes, for pub
lie or private exhibitions. Our catalogue will
be sent to any address on receipt Of stamp
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1865-03-01
Gold Pens, Ist and I'd quality i'm SOlId Silver
Extension Cases, with Pencils.

The Same Gold Pens, in Solid Silver Gold.
Plated Ebony Desk Holders and No
rocco Cases
For g . No pen lst quality. No. pen quality.
Eor g 81 No pc Ist quality, No. pen d quality.
Eor 3 ~ No pen st quality or No. pen I'd quality.
eo No pen lS quality. For IS so NOT pen. For
20 20 No. pen For sl2 90 No IL pen; all first quality.
our pens rank throughout the country equal
peror TO any gold pens manufactured Not only for their
writing qualities but durability and elegant finish The
greatest care Is used in their manufacture and none
~
Parties In ordering specify the name number ana
quality in all instances and whether timber ne or
' ~ -
To Clubs.
discount Of II per will be allowed sums sI5
If sent to address. at time l. S25
o.. $40
All reIuitrauces by mall registered, To
all who enclose 20 cents for registering
tee the safe delivery of the goods.
Circulars OF all our styles with Engravngs of exact
sizes and prices sent upon receipt Of stamp, II desire
Pens reJointai for 50 cents, by mail.
Statoner Jewellers requested to correspond with
offer them great inducements.
Address AMERICAN GOLD PEN CO.,
Jan253n No. 200 Broadway, N Y.
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1865-03-01
Gold Pens for the Million /!
Pens to suit the Hand and Prices to suit
the Pockets.
TUF REST cain pENC IN THE JV0pTnI
WARRANTED GOLD PENS.

Our name e. American Gold Pen Co.. y. Y, -, is stamped
all LIST quality Pens and the points warranted
for six months. except against accident Our second quail
ity Pens stamped PEN with the initials
OF hrIn "a q. Z. Coz and carefully made having
the points first quality Pens the only great
difference being the nMnitY U the gold.
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1865-03-01
CARD PHOTOGRAPHS.

s9 Fine albums made to order, ~gssa
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1865-03-01
whole No, 1904.
LewistOwn Post Office.

u4i- arrive and close az the Lewistown P
D. az tuitws.
Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1865-03-01
PENNSYLVANIA RAILROAD.

Trains leave Lewistown Station as follow
WestIrnrH Enetlrn1
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-04-26
A Certificate
wanth n Million
An old PHYSICIANS
Testimony.
READ.

Waterbury, Vt.
Nov. "a 1858. |
although | do noH
like the practice OF
Physicians re c. M
menling, indiscrimi-
natelv, I h e patent
medicines otthe dav
yet after a iri',l of ten
wears, | am free to q i
nit that there Is onel
medicine before thel
public that any Ply
sician can use In hisl
practice, and recon-
mend to the public
with perfect conf.
dence that medicine
is Rev. n. II. Downs
Ncgetabl Balsainic T.
lixir.
] have used it my
self with the very
best success, and now
when | am troubled
with ii Cough or Cold
| invariably use it
! can chseriiilv rec
ommcnd it to all who
arc suffering from a
Cough or a Gold, for
the Gro p, Whoopingl
Cough, and all tliseas-
cs tending to Con-
sumption, and o the
Profession as n reli-
able article.
| am satisfied of its
excellence beyond a
doubt, having CONVEX
scd personally with
the Rev. N, II. Downs
about IT,. He Inform
ed me of the princi-
pal ingredients of
which it is composed
all Of which are pure
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-04-26

GRANDPARENTS IN THE HOUSEHOLD.
The following observations on tile pro-
per government of families are as per-
incnt now as they were the first time iu-
dlclous parents protested against the us
urrali1n Of domestic authority by third
parties:
Grandparents should not interfere in
the government of children, except by
advise, and then privately What
household is complete wiiheut grand
father or grandmother That family
which has not enc is TO be pitied. AS
sign them the most cheerful room, pro-
vide the easiest chair, teach the children
10 wait upon them, 10 bring them the
stoOl for their feet, and run for their
Knitting and glasses But while all this
is duty and pleasure TO perform, yet let
grandparents consider that God has no.
where charged them with the response
hliiy which belongs 10 sons and daugh-
ters. These interierences on the part OF
grandparents are almost universal, and
while 1t is not TO be wondered at, il is,
nevertheless, a source Of much bitterness,
and should be disallowed. One boy
found another crying in the street.
When asked the cause he said his mother
had whipped him, The first boy replied
'-Why, where was your grandmoth-
or - Christian Adsocate and Journal.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-04-26

II is often the ease that men, for the
sake Of getting aAsips, forget to liyc.x
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-04-26

TEACHERS W AGES m Essex UotiNrY.
Your cotnmittee are pleased to report
that you have much more than-got your
moneys worth of schooling this year
The teachers OF the Cove. Plain, New
port, primary AMI intermediate schools,
for this year, have earned on an average
each one hunlred and fourteen dollars
and fraction, and boarded themselves
out of it. When board is worth from
two dollars, TO two and II half week,
and there are fifty-two weeks in year,
it is plainly seen that teachers Of these
schools cannot live by teaching, unless
they Adopt style of dress i'll adapted to
Cape Ann climate. The grammar school
of this town, the past year, has been
worth 10 the teachers "A hundred and for
ty-two dollars and fifty cents. One hun
drcd and Ortytwo dollars ard fifty cents
less board bill fer fifty two weeks, leaves
about twenty-five dollars and fifty cents
for clothing, and Investments ir United
States stocks. A fine inlucemcnt to
iirst-class- teachers The high school in
this town, has been worth to the TEACHERS
the past year, three hundred and eighty
two dollars and half. A capital Offer
TO. make 10 young man, frst-rate
teacher, with whom. nobody Will find
fault, who has spent one or two thousand
dollars in educating himsclfl So long as
this town pay their girls kitchen wages,
for keeping school. and seei;,to obtain the
best of teachers AID frst-class high
school, by paying mechanics wages so
long will the people find fault with the
school committee for not making better
bricks without straw. Teachcrs now
mny board at ho,ae, or clle out living
in the long vacations by other means
bui before the millennium teachers will
be better paid and better teachers will be
secured, and less fuss will be made about
r,i,ing money, to develop the sodl. This
preface to cur report is not meant TO de-
fenl any poor teaching in this town in
this town, but is Intended 10 disarm crit
ivism. We have good teachers, but poor
ly paid. Nyou have your moneys worth,
fin no fault. The tuition, of scholars in
this town has been the past year, abou.
one cent ard II half day per head. If
any one finds fault that he did not get
his cents worth, let him pay two cents
next year, AMI see if he can hire with it
some teacher nobody can fad fault with.
Report 0t @ Committee.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-04-26

TIE german ORrHNN.-Elevcn years
ago, as NJ. B, our visitor, was
walking through one cf Tie poor wards of
our city, he snAv a little fellow citing on
doorstep looking very forlorn AMI des-
olate: lie came up to him. AMI asked him
where We lived. The little boy replied
that he had no home, that he had come
in ship from Germany, and his father
and mother died of cholera on board of
ship, and then his aunt had taken HIM
on shore, but she had also died and left
him. alone in the world. The gentleman
depressed his compassion, and asked him
il he WIS not discouraged and downhcart-
cd. The little boy, with wonderful ex-
preston of faith and courage in hi, Ger
man blue eyes, said; 'No! my father
aud mother are dead, but Col still lives
lie was brought up to the office, AMI we
were all so much struck with his inteli-
genec and character, that we male efforts
Ia get him the best possible situation in
the country. lie was sent to place in
Michigan, and did 50 well there that he
not only performed his work for his en-
liloyer, bat educated himself for the State
college. He at length became Il student
and was preparing to fit himself for pro-
fcssion when the war broke out. lie
wrote to us that he felt great regret at
giving mp his education but it seemed
e. HIM that he ought to return to the
country what the country had done for
him that he felt it his duty to join the
army. lie accordingly enlisted in a
Michigan regiment and served bravely
and faithfully for three years AT length
hls time expired and lie returned to his
home, but new call for troops came.
and he wrote to MS that he 'tnlt like a
sneak TO be enjoying himself with his
hooks when others were fighting for MIN.
30 he determined 10 enlist, and in this.
as in all other things, he showed his pure
sense of honor, by refusing to take a
large bounty from another town. thinking
u hs duty 10 fill the qu0ta of his own
town, where they had been so.knd to
lam, even under smaller bounty. In
his next campaign he was wounded sew
eral times, and lay for some months in a
hospital in Washington, from which he
often wrote TO us. He has since return
ed to the front, and is serving his country
like true Christian soldier.-AeOor of
* J. CHdhlreH'S .4ii Soc.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-04-26

E,OR SALE,d cAW1 uIAi
Il A second hand OK CART, nearly new, will
be sold cheap for cash. For particulars inquire OF
p" tA w. 4. DENiSQN.
April 5, 1865. ia,l III
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-04-26

The readiest and best way TO find out
what future duty wiff5ststc'rrcsent, daty
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-04-26
THE HYPoPHOSPHTTES


WINCHESTER'S HYP0PH0SPHITES
are the best remedy known to Medical Science, in
every case where The physician commonly prcscribcs
''to'iics," iron ,chiskey cod-iiver OIL quinine' &C.
Winchester's Genuine Preparation
OF TIE HI'POPHOSPEy7ES is the only reliable
form OF this Remedy, erd is approved by the Medical
Profession generally. LSERO 0IXLL, NOR ANX
RE.NED YCONTALSLSGIR IRON
txyr PIECES :-In o. Bottles, si-six Bottles for
SIS In l6 oz Bottles, $9-Three for IS. Circulars
free. Sold by all respectable Druggists, and at tho
sole General Depot in the United States, by
J, WINCHESTER, SO john Street, N. Y.
Tn pulmonary Diseases, the most nc.
/ tive treatment sii Guild be pursued
6uriugIhc Summer months. the'pcriod
W hen most pa tents unNyIsct y suspend
the s.sc Of the Remedy.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-04-26
DIURETlC COMPOUND.

Ca For Diseases ofMe Urinary Organs result
ing from, iny,adence causing improper discharges
heat irritation, &c 1t contains no Cupaiva, Gu
bebs, Tdrpentine,. or any other offensive or inju-
rous drug, hut Is safe sure and pleasant RENE
dy that will cure in half the time of any other
or the price will be refunded You That have
been taking Balsam Copaiva for months without
benefit, until sick and pale your breath aud clothes
tainted with its offensive cdor, throw it away
aud send br n bottle Of this Sure Remedy. 1t viii
not only cure GU at once. but also cleanse the
system from the hurtlul drugs you have been taxi
ing long. sS- For Chronic CASES Of months
and even years duration, it is a sure cure. Try
it once aud you will never taste the disgusting
mixtures of lSalsam GopaiVa again. CT One
large bottle generally sufficient TO cure,-Prce So
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-04-26

Said a crazy woman of n penurious
asd siingy man, an officer in the church,
we regret 10 say, ''Do YOU SEQ that man
You could blow his soul through hum
birds quill into a mosquitoes eye, and
the mosquito wouldn't winki "Ial"
she continued, "they won't have to open
the door of heaven but a precious little
crack, If they let him in, / guess !"
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-04-26
N EW SKIRTS FOR l8G5L
~ THE GREAT INVENTION or THE Aois IN
III q O II . * II III 81

" THE GREAT INVENTION or THE Aois IN
TE q O II = TX Z E Ts =.
j, w. BRADLEY'S New Patent DUPLEX
ELLIPTIC Tor double) SPRING SKIRT
= WEST, BRADLEY 4 CARY, date J. I.&J.Q
West) Sole Propretors and Manufacturers. 81
Chambers and 10 and 81 Reade Streets, New
York.
This Invention consists Of DUPLEX Tor two)
Elliptic Steel Springs, ingeniously Braided Tightly
and FIRMLY together, edge to edge making the
toughest. most flexible Elastic and durable Spring
ever used They seldom Bend or Br,ak like the
Single Springs, and consequently Preser, e their
Perfect and Beautiful shape Twice as Long as any
other Skirt.
The Wonderful Flexibility aud Great Comfort
and pleasure to any Lady wearing, the niiplex RI
lptc Skirt will he experienced particularly In all
Crowded Assemblies, Operas, Carriages Railroad
Cars, Church Pews, Arm Chairs, for Promenade
and House Dress, as the Skirt eau be folded when
in use, to 9ccapy small place easily as SILK
or Muslin Dress.
A Lady having enjoyed the pleasure, comfort
ana great convenience OF wearing the ,sDaplex
Elliptic Steel Spring Skirt" for single day. will
never afterwards Willingly dispense with their use
For Children, Misses, and Young Ladies, they are
Superior to all others.
They the Best Quality In Every Part, and
Unquesiionably the Lightest, Most Desirable,
Comfortable. and Economical Skirt Ever Made
FOR SALE IN all First Class Stores in this Ctv.
and throughout the United States, aud Canadas,
Havana de Cuba, Mexico, South America, and the
West Indies ,N.
or INQUIRE FOE THE DUPLEX ELLIPTIC
SKIRT. q Tlii5w
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-04-26
NERVE INNIGORATOR.

Poner; Confusion Of '7Hongbt; loss OF !Mmora y:
irritable Temper; Gioomy approximations Fear ;
Dcepmidency, Melahcho(y, aud all other evils
caused bv Secrst habits or Excessively indulgence.
rs'ims sure remedy is composed of the most
soothing. strengthening, and iuvigoratng medi-
cine in the whole vegetable kingdom, forming
in combination, the most perfect dAtooie for this
obstinate class Of maladies, ever vet discovered.
It has been sent to every State in the Union push
lively curing thousands who lave never seen the
inventor restoring them to sound health. Nervous
sufferer, wherever YOU may be, don't fail to test
the virtues of this Wonderful Remedy. fI- One
large bottle lasts q month,-PIice $40. These
FOUR SERE REMEDIES are prepared at my
Office, and sent by Express everywhere with full
directions, in sealed package escure from observ-
alton, OH receipt OF the price by mail.
The Middlebury register. [volume] (Middlebury, Vt.) 1850-1882, 1865-04-26

Sold at every Drug aud Country Store through
out Vermont and Canada. Retail 30 cts, 75 cts,
and S1.j0 per Bottle.
JOHN +. HENRY & con, P~p'rs.
45:1m Main Street, Waterbury, Vt.
The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1865-11-08

~ res . must pc very coarse when there
Is not something Of chivnlry on the one
side and loyalty on the other.
And, ms the best things when per-
Fefted prove the worst, so when women
are really thoughtless and cruel, they
are the deadliest oppressors OF their
sex. Many snow pure reputation has
melted like frost before woman's
breath. Many poor laundress or
sewtng-gtrl, has a dark tale to tell of
womanly wrongs. 1t is said that men
do not pay women a fair price for their,
labor, and there arc too many Instances
OF Its truth, but we know of an instance
in this city where u wife and mother
mas gone further than most men would
go in withholding wages from a help
less girl. Then there are the newly
rich, who, having never been accustolii-
60 70 servants, are often aggravating in
their departments and the butterflies
OF fashion who, knowing nothing about
muscular labor, make cruel exactions
without knowing it; and the simply
incompetent, who throw all the domes-
TIC machinery out of gear and then ex-
pect It to work out harmonious results,
With all these a household aid must
take her chance.
Depend upon 1t, if family work could
be put:out by the job,-so many loayes
baked and potatoes peeled, so many
beds made and rooms busted and de-
lVered at the door at a given hour,
there would be plenty of women eager
to take the work home and do it. It is
the coming in hourly contact with a
person of alien habits, of indefinite and
varying requirements, that lisheartens
and repels. Mrs. Stowe makes the wife
OF Christopher Crowtield" say, stif=I
We're leftin straightened circumstances,
would seek a position as servant in
one of our good families" Now we
have the greatest respect for Mrs. Crow
field, but is she certnin that she could
live comfortably with n servant pre-
cisely like herself.