North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1865-02-01

dirthy div - cried the highly excited and
almost breathlessr kitchen maid, continuing
to gailopade the fated barrel all around the
yard. T. =, i
"Whirra, whira now, Miss Mahoney, me
dsrlint ~ excams the cousin. "What the
douce are yees at7 Be done wild yees kick
,n' the barrel. Doesn't yees see the mistress
and meself2" a=-.ag +. i
"Och ~ cried Bridget, all of a sudden, re,
alizing the ridiculous position she occupied e.
''Oh!" and she bolied for the culinary der
partment in extensive haste. ~v IA r.
snow, by George!" says Magufin, jump
ing up from his cosy chair, and :, dashing his
cigar into the grato, ''now, Sue, Pll go and
fix np the grape vine. Bridget, where is the
barrel2"
"Ha, ha !'' calculates Mrs, Maguffin. Fred
you should have seen Bridget in battle roy
al this morning, with tha barrel. She has
either broken the barrel or her feet into
finders" 'e'. A y
''She must have been we'll put to work
faith" says Mac. Bridget he continued,
descending to the front yard, "bring out that
barrel; come, be spry."
"Indade Sill" says Bridget, "an,-an'-
bad cess to tits my very tut Pve kilt wld
II ef you pIaze, I'd rather not touch it"
"WeIl, never mind, go bring it out, and
get me The hammer and nails in the wood
house.'' r,3
Away goes Budget. mutterinG all manner
of Melesian anathemas against the fatal bar
rel, and which, after awhile, she br ngs forth
with the hammer and nails. f
"There, sir. bad luck to 'em! that's the
divi's own, it is p and down she dumps the
the barrel, oyer it goes, and alnihilating two
flower pots, and eXterminating a bulb bro't
from Mexico by the military brother Of Ma
guffin, and valued beyond jewels by his wife
'Oh the devil ~ cries Mac. "What in
blazes are you at, you internal bog,rotter?
Don't you see 2" .E g
'Whirra, whirra !" eroans Bridget snow
look now. what are yees at? Stand up,
stand up :"
Bat the barrel wouldn't stand
90 oo!' r,ars Mac, "let it alone. See
what you've done now-upset another pot,
and broke that whole vire off at the root.
Clear yourself, or I'll brain you"
Mdeufin in his wrath leveled the hammer
at Bridget, who took TO her heels just as
Mrs. Mac made her appearance, and began Il
wall over her murdered flowers. II was too
bad, and worse to contemplate, so Mac gave
his ie the hammer and nails, while ne seiz-
I'd the i'll stared or mischief making barrel,
and planting the headess end down isto The
grass pot beneath the arbor, began to ascend.
''Fred, Fred!'' cries Mis-. Mac, "don't
don't the nasty barrel will fall over"
'"Hold your tongue, Sue. just steady the
barre' .-' .s...--a .-...- l.r - .
''The head won't hold you, Fred, will it
1a--"4-ater nsr5 .t-as= %" bssio- ~ l..r -r f,
But, alas for his confidence! no sooner
had be placed one foot furiously upon the
head, and was about to throw up the other,
than in went the treacberous platform, down
went the right foot and leg, over went the
barrel, and Mrs. Mac, with a yell, also! !
Potr Maenffin was slightly kilied-hfs leg
lacerated, and his pants torn, by the aid of
two ueacherdus nails : while Mrs. Mac was
more or less stunned and wounded into in
sensiblity. Bridget run TO the rescue, Mrs.
Mac screamed: Mac raved and swore equal
to the great army in Flanders Bridget
helped her mistress into the house; Mac,
seemingly inspired by the state of his cassi
meres and buff. jumps up, seizes the barrel,
aud giving it one snrging toss over the fence,
he hurled the infatuated thing of hoops and
slaves into the street. ltrolleda and rcdch-
eted, to the terror Of pair of horses attach
ed to farmers wag'n, they, possibly believ
ing that the Inauguration day Of all creation.
had arrived, broke loose aud dashed down
by means of which the wagon was iovel.urn-
ed, the varied contents of the wagon-sundry
jugs. bundits. parcels, and little boy, were
split all over the street and sidewalk within
forty rods compass. The barrel went whlr>
ling down the first open cellar way, which
happened to be the atalier ola tinsmIth
he was engaged with soldering lion and
molten pewter over charcoal furnace, and
the noise and confusion of dingy, lumber,
.solnea absady, Ike that of the internal barrel
coming al him, not only alarmed the timer,
but striking the work bench and upsetting
the fire and molten pewter, scaided the poor
ARTISAN and his apprentice, ahd set the shop
on fire.
GOA lor gorry - roars the the hoss, as he
jumps around. ,"ScaIded to death !'
Fire bawis the apprenticef,travelling sud-
denly up the stairs to the street. Sire
Morder Wafer ~ .'--, IS, .' =.
iIt tsiFlre-fire p roars the boss, pitching up
stairs. foil, wed by cloud Of smoke, his
apron burnt TO cinder. = .ro ..safe.
"Run down and put out the fire ~ cries
the man who kent a two hoss QIocerV' un