davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1865-05-12
A Considerable Husband.

A lady who had been travelling during
the past summer, on her return home
wrote to distant friend an account of her
journey, and, among other things, of the
following adventure 81 concluded my
various exploits by suddenly visiting old
Neptune's bed at the bottom of the ocean.
Not of my own free will, however. 1 was
forcibly thrown from the deck of ship as
we were out ON fishing excursion. As
usual, my good man was after mo in q
twinkling, and caught me as appeared
on the surface, andwith prompt assistance
from the boat, was fshod up again, sor-
ry looking specimen of humanity, but all
sound and unframed, though very mar
row escape" &c. And after some more
matters, she edded ~ am going to leave
room for - to speak for himself. l
think he is able, as he is now fifty years
DID,"
So the husband-"the goodman"-does
speak for himself, and adds p. S., in
which, among other things, he says =
"Mrs. - tells me she has written to
you abeut her being saved from being food
for fishes by thesubscribcr. Well, it may
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1865-05-12

B@~ An Irishman, Pat by name, was
employed in one Of the Newark manufac-
tories. Pat had habit of getting on
sprees and neglecting his work when it
was most needed. Mr.. w., one of the
firm, and who had the supervision of
the establishment, frequently remonstra.
ted with him, but to little purpose, un-
til one day, as Pat came in rather the
worse for the "crathur" and became rath.
er noisy, Mr.. w. called him into the Of
fee. After while Pat came out, when q
number went to him to hear what Mr.. w.
had said this time. Pat said:
"Misther W. is fine man, a very gen.
tleman,"
"Wcll what did he say to your"
"Och, an sure he talked kindly to me
just like father. An sure he is a
kind-hearted Christian, an wouldn't har-
rum the feeling of the manest man in the
wurruld."
"Well, what did he say to your"
can sure Mr.. w. is a fine man, an he
spaked to me jist like kind father, an
told me if ever came in drunk agin he
he wud kick me out of the shopw
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1865-05-12
VOL. IX.---NO. 10.
ARENAS Ward on Forts.

Every man Of intellect has his Fort.
Daniel Webster's Fort was to to speech
ify in the hauls of Kongris & make Dick
summaries.
Shakespeer rote good PLACE, but he
wouldn't have been with drink of kold
Slider as stennergrafic Reporter. Wood
he? He bet dollars be woodent.
Old George Washington's Fort was not
to have any public man resemble him to
any alarming extent! Wher bowts can
Georges equal be found I asked, and
boldly answered no whares, or any whares
else. ' lisa
Old man TOWNSHIPS Fort was to maik
Sarsapariller Coy to the world anuth-
er life saved (Cotashin from Town.
sins advertisement.) 'a.
Cyrus Fields fort is to lay sub machine
telegraphs under the boundin billers of the
Oshun & then hev it bust.
My Fort is the great moral show biz
ness and ritin choice famerly literatoor
tor newspapers. That's what's the matter
with me. r, u-1
Etc etc. etc. So I might go on to an
infinite extent.
Twice 1 endeavored to do things which
wasn't in my Fort. The fust time was
when l undertook to lick owdashus cuss
who cut hole in my tent and crawled
threw: Sec ], "my jentle sir, 60 out, or
| shall wade into you putty heavy" See
he, "wade in, old wax 6ggers;' whereupon
l went for him, but he cawt me powerful
on the head and knocked me threw tho
tent into COW pastur. He pursood tho
attack and flung me into mud puddle.
AS l arose and rung out my drencht
garments, I concluded fitten was not my
Fort. - rt.8 -
1 now rise the kurtin up on Seen End:
1t is rarely seldom that seek consolation
in the Flown Bole. But in certain
town in Injanny in tho Faul of 49,, my
organ grinder got sick of the fever and
died. never felt so ashamed in all my
life and I thawt I'd hist in few swallers
of sumthing strengthenin. Konsequents
was l histed in 80 much didn't zactly
know where bouts I was. turned my
Twin beasts of Pray loose into the street
and upset my wax works. l then bot I
could play boss. So | harnist to Kanal
bote, there being two other horses hitched
on likewise l behind & ahead os me-
The driver hollered out for us to git, and
We did. Bnt the horses being unused to
such an arrangement, began to kick and
squal and rare up. Konsequents was,
was kicked vilently in my stommack and
back, and presently found myself in the
Kanal with the other horses kickin and
yellin like tribe of Cusscarorus savijis.
| was rescood, and as was being carried
to the tavern on hemlock board, said
in feeble voice, "Boys, playiu boss isn't
my fort.'
Moral-Nover don't do nothing which
it isn't your fort, for if you do you'll find
yourelf splashing around in the Kanal,
fggeratively speaking.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1865-05-12
qWtstelIanGons%
Columbus.

In the Cathedral Church of the Havana,
on the north side of the chancel, and near
the high-altar, is an Observation-Disclosures
mural tablet 1t marks the last resting.
place of one whose life was a perpetual
wandering to-and-fro upon tho earth, to
whose bones there came final rest only af.
ter many years of death. The rude like
ness carved upon it shows the thoughtful,
persistent face of Christopher Columbus.
In the wall behind, his remains are built
up.
1t seems almost incredible that the spot
where lie the ashes of one SO great should
be marked by no more than this poor ia
blet. 1t is too meagre to catch the atten-
ton of stranger without direction. Per-
haps that is best. For even the most glo.
rious work of mems hands would fail to be
fit memorial of him those monument is
half the inhabited world.
1t is not too much to say that Colum-
bus owes his grand success to his unselfish
unity of purpose There was no want of
breadth in his character to canker the fair
fame of his benefaction to the world. We
find no fault in him. When smaller men
tried to rise upon the ruin of his credit,
he took it quietly, and forgave it without
scorn. There is not one imperfection to
limit our reverence for his memory. The
son of an humble Genoese wool. comber, he
left his children distinction prouder than
pedigree of the bluest blood. His edu-
cation was the best his father could afford.
From the earliest, his chief fancy was for
the sea-a fact in which his simple piety
recognized the original of that Divine gui.
dance which afterwards led him to discov-
err the New World.
After serving in ships of war, under one
of his own relations, at the age of five-apd-
thirty Columbus was attracted to Lisbon
by the fame of the Portuguese discover
les, and scientific patronage of the young
and an amiable-Prince Henry Of Porting GAL
There he married countrywoman of his
own, whose father was one of the princes
seamen, and governor of the Island of
Porto Santo. For awhile he made voya-
ges to the Portuguese possessions on the
coast OF Guinea, chiefly with the view of
penetrating to India by the Fast. At the
same time, from theory of the spherical
form of the earth, which he had founded
on Ptolemy's globe and the chart of Mari
nus of Tyre, he conceived the idea of
reaching India, and perhaps more, by way
of the West. From this beginning arose
the great work of his life. Once con-
WINGED in his own mind, he never after
wards hesitated, or doubted, or lost sight
of his design. His deep religious instinct
served to elevate and confirm his purpose,
with sense little short of Divine inspira-
ton. He saw himself foretold, in the
prophecies of the Old Testament, as dos.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1865-05-12
4oetit.al>
SUNSET AFTER A SHOWER.

Over the hill tops, fold upon fold,
Like bood-stained banners within the sky,
Braided with crimson, and fringed with gold,
In sea of amber the spent clouds lie.
Down in the valley the slumb rous trees
Droop heavily jeweled with fallen rain;
And spicy scented tremulous breeze
In ripples crosses the Bonded grain.
The winding river like silver CLEANS
Through dreamy vistas that melt and fade A.;
AS the sunlight; falling in slanting beams,
Strikes deep in the heart of the forest shade.
On distant uplands the lonely pine
Is fringed with purple and bound with fire ;
Thcstones in the church yard glance and shine
And the weather-vane is gilded wire.
The tapering cedar, like spear,
Starts out of the cliff, where stands revealed
The rocky ledge; and the herd appear
Like spots of color within the field.
And the braided banners of cloud are seen
To fiercer burn, as with sudden shame;
While the vale below and hills between
Are drowned in yellow mist of fame.
And the farmers boy, all aglare with light,
Looks over the cliff where the cedars grow,
And shades with his hand his dazzled sight,
And calls to his comrades down below.
Then the brazen woodlands echo and ring,
And the earth and sky seem to shout with
him;
A pearly arch is the hawks fleet wing;
And the sweltering landscape seems to SWIM
On yonder hillside a cottage shines
The window westward flashes and glows-
1t nestles amid its sheltering vines
Of glistening ivy like rose.
And there in the porch two lovers WOO
Her slender figure his arms enfold
While two doves in the dove-cot kiss and co.,
And ruffie their necks of green and gold.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1865-05-12

EYEs.-It has often been said, that o
woman with q hazel eye never elopes from
her husband, never chats scandal, never
sacrifices her husbands comfort for her
own, never finds fault, never talks too
much or too little, and is altogether an
entertaining, agreeable and lovely COM
panion. We never knew but one uninter-
estihg and unamiablo woman with hazel
eye, and she had nose as sharp as
marling-spike. The grey oye is the sign.
Of shrewdness and talent. Great women
and great men have grey eyes. In wo-
men, however, it indicates better head
than heart. The blue eye is admirable,
but may be feeble. The black eye, take
care .a. ...g
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1865-05-12
How to Tame q Husband.

1 never undertook but once, said Tom
to set at nought the authority of my wife
You know her way cool quiet, but deter
mined as ever grew. just after wo were
married, and all was nice and cosy, she
got into the habit of doing all the ohurn.
ing. She finished breakfast rather before
me one morning, and, slipping away from
the table, she filled the churn with cream
and set it down where I couldn't help see.
ing what was wanted. So I took hold
readily enough, and churned till the but.
ter came. She didn't thank me, but look.
ed so nice and sweet about it, that fel,
we'll paid. Well, when the next churn.
ing came along, she did the same thing,
anSI followed suit and fetched the butter
Again and again I did the same thing,
and was regularly set for it every time
not word said, you know of course
We'll, by-and-by, this began to be rather
irksome; I wanted her just to ask me,
but she never did, and I wouldn't say
anything to save my life. So on we
went.
At last made resolve that would
not churn another time unless she asked
me. Churning day came, and when my
breakfast-she always got nice break
fasts-when that was swallowed, there
stood the churn. l got up and standing
few minutes, just to give her chance,
| put on my hat and walked out of doors.
stopped in the yard to give her time to
call me, but never word said she, and SO,
with palpitating heart, I moved on.
went down town, and my foot was as rest
less as Noah's dove. I felt as if I had
done wrong; did not feel exactly how,
but there was an indescribable sensation Of
guilt resting on me. 1t seemed as if din
ner.time would never come; and as for
going homo one minute before dinner
hour, | would as soon have cut my ears
off. So went fretting and moping about
till the dinner-hour came. Home went,
feeling very much as criminal must
when the jury is out having in their hands
his destiny-life or death.
| couldn't make up my mind how she
would meet me, but I expected some kind
of storm. Will you believe me-she
even greeted me with smile--never had
better dinner than on that day but
there stood the churn just where I left it.
Not word was said. felt confounded-
ly cut, and every mouthful Of that dinner
felt as if it would choke me. She didn't
pay any regard to it, however, but went
on just the same as if nothing had hap.
pened. Before dinner was over I had
again resolved, and marched to the churu
and went at it in the old way. Splash
dip, rattle-I kept it up. As if in spite,
the butter never seemed so long in com.
ing; I supposed the cream standing sc
long had got warm, aud SO I redoubled
my efforts. Obstinate matter, the after
noon wore off while I was ohurning.
paused at last from real exhaustion, when
she spoke for the first time. "Come,
Tom, my dear, you have ratified that but.
termilk long enough. Is it for fun you
are doing it?" knew how it was in o
flash. She had brought the butter in the
forenoon, and left the buttermilk in for
me to exercise with 1 never set up fol-
myself in household matters after that me.
morable day.-Amertcas Paper.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1865-05-12
Sandwich Island Women.

A lady, writing from Honolulu, thus
discoursos upon the native women and
their free and easy manner:
"The women are erect, wide in the
shoulders, and carry their heads like
queens; many of them are truly hand.
some, wearing their hair falling over their
shoulders in curls, and surmounted with
little straws garlanded with wreaths Of
lovely native flowers. They clothe them
selves modestly and prettily, wearing the
dress to cover neck and arms, and falling
loosely from the shoulders to the top Of
the feet, which are often bare. Not be.
ing civilized like us, they have not been
enlightened into COMPRISING their ribs
with iron and whalebone corsets, nor to
disturb and torture their feet with over.
tight shoes, nor to put bonnets on their
heads that run up into turrets of silk and
artificial flowers, and leaving the ears at
the mercy of the bitter winds, nor to make
up forty-ive yards of steel wire into cages
aad fasten themselves within them, nor to
carry an extra half-yard of dress bravely
after them on the pavement, through thick
and thin. Yet these women have the ad-
vantage of US, for are we not forced by
the exigencies of custom, when we come
with our long garments upon any impuri-
ties of the pathway, to shut our eyes and
clench our teeth, and rush blindly over
them whereas these Kanaka women, at
the sight of even spot of water, lift their
light garments gingerly, and pass over,
clean and unsullied from the contact
Can this be barbarous
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1865-05-12

BST A prudent and wcll-disposed mem.
Der of the "Society of Friends" once gave
the following friendly advice "John,'
said he, 81 hear thou art going to get
married. eyes," replied John, ~ am. /"
"Well,' replied the man of drab, 81 have
one little piece of advice to give thee, and
that is, never marry a woman worth more
than thou art. When I married my wife,
was worth just fifty shillings, and she
was worth sixty-two; and whenever any
difference has occurred between us, since,
she has always thrown up the odd shil.
lings."
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1865-05-12

Bay~ A marriage ceremony in West.
ern city was interrupted one day last week
by an individual in the congregation who
Indignantly declared that the lady had
promised to marry him the very day be.
fore, and that no wanted the minister to
.'hold her to her word" The objection
was not considered legal, and after some
little confusion the service went on.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1865-05-12

B0s A conductor on tho Cleveland and
Columbus Railroad was alarmed, q few
days since, by the apparition of man on
the embankment, who was gesticulating
violently, and apparently DESTROYS of stop
ping the train. The conductor with some
difficulty stopped the train, and running
to the man, ascertained to his disgust that
he was fighting hornets nest.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1865-05-12

Ct "Why don't you wheel the barrel
of Goals, Ned,' said miner to one of his
sons. "It is not very hard Job
"There is an inclined plane, too, to relieve
you.'' "Ah" said Ned, "the plain is in.
clined, but hang me if I am"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1865-05-12

s3n Many philosopher who thought
he had an exact knowledge Of the whole
human race, has been miserably cheated
in the choice of wife.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1865-05-12

@ When we are alone we have our
thoughts to watch in the family our
tcmpers; in company our tongues,
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1865-05-12

baP Let your expenses be such as to
leave balance in your pocket. Ready
money is friend in need.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1865-05-12
BEL AIR. MD. FRIDAY MORNING. MAY 49, 1866.

be SO, but she had on great lot of jewel
ry, which 1 thought was north saofsg,
particularly as gold as now pretty high p
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1865-05-12

M. ]. WRIGHT g. MITCHELL,
Washington street, two doors north OF
the Railroad, and next door to Nixon's
Hotel, liAvRE-DE-GRAcE. sep25
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1865-05-12

No subscription taken for less than year.
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1865-07-03
-IIseELLhsEoUs AlyERIIsEMENIs.
TO THR NERVOUS AND MFIRM.
nR.J.PERRAULT. GRADUATE of
~ THE UNIVERSITY OF QUEENS COL.

nR. R.J.PERRAULT, GRADUATE Of
II, THE UNIVERSITY OF QUEENS COL.
LEqE, begs TO inform patients and o,hen seek.
ing medical advice, tina. he may be consultedper.
.onally OF BY letter, in all cases Of Nervous and
Physical Debility, and the various disorders aris.
nS from, sedentaIy habits, oxcesL accident or
climate, from %. N, 10 u ~. and from 2 to sP.
~, At bis office, Armory Building, northwest cor.
ier Montgomery and Sacramento streets, Rooms
Nos 10 ana II, drst aoor, up S.airs. Entrance on
.lther Montgomery or Sacramento streets
Where o secret inhrmi.y exists, involving the
dappIness Of life and that Of Others, reason and
morality dictate the necessity OF its removal TOT
II 1, a fact that premature decline Of tho yigor
NJ manhood, matrimonial unhappinesn,E compul'
cory single lIfe local and physical dsohity'e ete.'
aayo their sources In enulcs tho germ OF which
f planted In early life, and tho bitter fruit
SaSted1ong Afterwsrda
1EoCroH HPERRAuLTs Diplomas arS In bis
,feep, where patients can See for themselves that
thoy are under tho care of q regularly educated
practitioner ;Ths best references VII be given
when required Patients suffering under chronic
df1eases can call and examine for themselves. Wo
fnyito investigation; claim not to know every.
thing, nor 10 euro everybody but We do claim
that In all cases we take under our treatment We
fulnll our promisok We particularly request
those who have tried this bouSted Doctor. and
,ha. advertised Physician, TIL worn out and dis
eouraged, to call upon u.s. 1t will cost nothing,
a. consultations arc free. In oil eases Of Primary.
Tertiary and Secondary Syphilis, Pains In the
Bones, Old Sores, rheumatism, Gonorrhea.
oleet, Structures, etc, particular attention Ia
5ysn. as well as 70 cases OF Seminal Emission
and InnpotRncV ...t.. ..f..r.H. q
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1865-07-03
B To THE LADIES.

Ladies suffering from any complaint Incident
TO their sex, such as tho Whites, Falling Of the
Womb, Irregularities Pain In the Side, Headache.
Paplta,Ion Suppression, and all other Diseases
20 which ths Female system Is subjected. wIllhnd
prompt relief by addressing themselves ~ DOC
TOR lPERRAULT. g...a.o4 Urg o.# o..
: To those seeking our advice, plain statement
Of their casa will be given, whether curnolo or
not. . -
Tho great experience acquired by DIR. PER-
RAULT In bis extensive practice. and In tho Va'
riouS Hospitals Of Continental Europe affords All
ample guarantee to those seeking advice Of being
under the care OF legally qualified practitioner.
DIR PERRAULT's uarnc is to be found In the
MsdleGl Register. under the authority Of tho Med
Icai Council of Great Britain, and Is, therefore.
not TO be clamed With the names I'm many cases
s,sumed) Of horde Of udyenturersw who, through
the public press, seek to Impose upon the credu
lous and unwary by the publication Of quaiihes'
tIons, and tho advocacy Of specifics, that are
rarely beneficial and In most cases positively In
furious. 81. g.gG. gsa -..e..g,1s g u
Persons at distance can be cured ut home oy
addressing a letter to DIR. PERRAULT and sta
ting their case.
Letters by Express 70 bo addressed To j. PER
RAULT, u. D.. corner Of Sacramento and Mont
romery S,rsets, Rooms Nos. 10 and II, or 70 Box
80, Post Office, San .Francisco. JUL 2a
Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1865-07-03
INSTANTANEOUS ADVERTISEMENTS.
GLENBROOk HOUSE,
LAKE TAHOE.

THIS POPULAR PLACE OF RESORT "a
L 1. now open for tho reception OF all III
guests who may favor me with their patron. ...As
age. ..r- -
The House has been thoroughly renovated ana
re.nain,ed also, fine PIANO has been added to
the Paror (Which is one of the finest In the Statel
also, beautiful Grove and Walk have been hd-
ded near the House. No pains will DO spared 10
mako Il agreeable and pleasant 10 the patrons
The Trout Fishing and Grouse Hunting exeeh
any place on the Pacific Coast.
4 new and splendid STEAMER will be ready
TO run on the Lake, June Goth. Many thanks for
pasf patronage. A. ) BEATTY, FsoPF.
Glenbrook, May q, 1868 my27 5m
The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1865-05-26
A Backward Season.

Vegetation of all kinds is unusually
backward in this section; but not more so
than in states further south. The absence
of rain until recently, and of warm
weather, have given a fine opportunity
for the chronic croakers to exercise their
vocation. For the benefit, not of this
class, but of sensible people who may have
been affected unpleasanly, we quote from
a letter dated st. Louis, 18th inst, point
over six hundred miles south of US. The
writer says: eve have had very back
ward opening, with great deal of cold
rain, but for few days past, it has
seemed as though it was going to clear
up, and let US have some warm weather.
Unless it comes pretty soon am afraid
the summer crops will fail" The season
has been backward all over the West, and
attended with disagreeable weather, which
we have escaped. The rain has come at
last, as well as warm weather, and there is
every promise of abundant crops.
The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1865-05-26

CHANGED HIS MIND.-It is only a few
weeks since JEFF. Davis, a fugitive from Rich
mond, arrived at Danville, Virginia. His first
work there was to draw up and issue an address
to the people of the Southern Confederacy.
After informing them that the confederate
cause had met with some little reverses, he
nevertheless expressed his entire confidence in
the people and the final success of the rebellion,
and continued as follows:
Animated by that confidence, and in the
spirit and fortitude which never yet failed me, 1
announce to you fellow countrymen, that it is
my purpose to maintain your cause with my
whole heart and soul; that will never con-
sent to abandon to the enemy one foot of the
soil of any one of the Safes ofthe Confederacy.
On the 10th inst. the author of this grandi-
.ose appeal was discovered in female attire his
petticoats streaming on the wind, abandoning
the Southern Confederacy just as rapidly as his
legs would carry him. q