Cleveland morning leader. [volume] (Cleveland [Ohio]) 1854-1865, 1864-03-26


There's good deal Of talk, nowadays, /
shout neutrality. In my estimation neu-
trslitt's stupeDdous huubug,-s misers-
bls negative quality, neither one side nor
the ether-eovsrdly and snsaking' and
ever trying to shirk the responsibility II
ought to shoulder. never tried the neu-
,rsl dodge but once aud then il cost me
the awfuIest licking ever got in my life.
-You zee. I was boy at the time, and was
marched off TO church go everlasting regu-
lar, three times every Sunday, that like the
fellow who eat mutton so long he began to
fancy there was wool coming out sll over
him, began to get sort Of sick Of it, and
played 'fhookey'' as often ss saw 9 chance.
The chances were rather slim, though, for
the 'iold man. always put me through the
terrible ordeal Of reciting the text, with
few Of the heads of discourse. This was
the vorst lick Of all; for, in The name Of
Ell that is reasonable, how was to recoi'
leot the text 1 should like to know,
when IL used to take up so much OF my
time counting the lamps, watching the
aies.and working ingenious problems with
crooked pins inserted into fellows coat
taiIs2 But, it it was no fool Of task to
cram myself with long-Winded heads Of
discourse, beside attending to all these out
side operations; how was to tell anything
about the sermon on these occasions when
didn't 20 near the church at ALI That
used TO "get me" Sometimes did man
sge to worm the requisite information
| from one Of my sisters, if 1 could only gel
3 chance, before being brought up to th'
rack Of examination.
got most completely caught one time
hOWever,-fsirly fOored-witk not so mucf
as the smallest knOt-hole to creep out at
The s,old man. as usual, had me "up to fod
der.n about the text, and made such al
outrageous mess of recOllectng anything
sbout ii II hadn't been within half m1l'
the church to tell the real TRUTH that ne be
/ gsn to suspect I'd been playing "hookey,
and 60 asked me point blank, ct last, .
tell him the color Of the parsons nan
That was a siumper. You see, it Wss
new minister, and didn't know him fror
Adam. What vas the color Of that par1c
Mar parsons hair-blsck, brown, red, o
gravP twas hard sum to oypher, an
The nub Of it was, I had to be in sue
plsguev hurry about it, for the "old man
was beginning to show that swful savag
look pious fathers put on when they'r
about 10 rouse mp the tender places o
their delinquent sons and could see n
fingers working as il they were alresd
clutohing the raw hide hanging up onto
; nail Just over his head. Then 1t was
made the unluoky resolve to try the neu
trail dodge. I'd no more idea OF Wha
eolor the parsons hair was than jay birC
"a I struck as near the middle line betwee
hem AZ could. stammered out, at th
same time feeling a sort Of horrible facir
alton at the way the "old mans" finger
: kent working, that 'fhis hair wasn't e1
actly dark, nor precisely light, nor eve
} | Of a decided red, but sort OF betWl1
> and between, like-a kind of no color mil
ture"-HStop, sirl" roared my patterns
sire. at the same time catching the "a
] | hide with firm and most venomous gril
, ssHov dare you add to the sin Of Sabbath
! bresking, the crime Of lying prevsrio'
ton 2p The fact was, the PdTSon had
hair at all. on his hea9-the mean cuss-I
,Sas as bald as sugar bo1Oli The way Il
E | the told man" sWeeteDed the last vestll
: Of neutrality out of my hide, that nigh
was caution to all young sinners, l ca
tell you. ,,o