The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1864-03-25
OUR WASHINGTON LETTER.
From Our Regular Correspondent.

FROM our Regular
WASHINGTON, March 8. 1864.
To the Editor If The Pioneer:
In nv last letter spoke OF some Oh JOSH.
C.Rrrp's wonderful inventions in the military
line, and it now becomes my pleasing ou.' W
communicate the fact that he has completed
another discovery which supplies the only
5es;deyotym of warfare remaining. He has in
vented n shoulder strap that will enable any
officer TO stay at home and drd'r his pay! In
fact JOSH. says these straps will draw their
paw whether they belong to any officer CT not.
They are made of kind of stuff called tuS-
tan. the same that WILK. and DoNNELLY'S
speeches are printed on as they say because
il draws
BY the way forgot to tell you that DONSEL-
LY in looking up statistics for his late great
speech on immigration made the discovery that
the Dutch have taken Holland" He called
it his =" Tuterldml," and it was really affecting
to see how he choked up in his speech as
though he had cabbage stump in his throat
when he told about being kidnapped by the
wild Irish of Drogheda. His plan of inducing
immigration is very simple and ingenious. 1t
is to prohibit the negroes from leaving Amer
lea. He and WILK. have got up law before
Congress for that purpose. which repeals all
laws making appropriations for colonizing the
people in Africa CARTER and WILK. are
experimenting with mixture" which they
say will soon blend these three races into one
homogeneous whole.
WILK. still continues to go up to look after
gunboats He went over the other night and
had a long talk with LEE. LEE gave him the
original draft of Gen. MEAD's order for re-
treat at Gettysburg. WILK. said that LEE said
he found it in gunboat where MEAD hid dur
ing the battle WILK. got back in time in the
morning to take his usual little nip" at Will
lard's. He said LEE seemed very much fright
eued when he saw him coming, and offered to
give him large sum of money if he would not
make another speech in the Senate, but that he
told LEE he CIV. could not be bribed, and that
he (W) must save the country.
l saw Uncle Cyrus yesterday very busily
picking the geese at the White House. and he
seemed very careful of the feathers. after
wards learned that this goose economy is to
pay off the interest on the public debt, and to
enable Secretary CHASE to sell the gold in the
Treasury. Uncle CYRUS therefore seems to
think that he is some way or other connected
with the Treasury Department, and that he has
been good deal promoted from an ex-member
of Congress. / heard him sOliloquising to him
self and an old gander he was stripping Now
just see what a goose l should be if / had been
elected to Congress-"
Old AEE and BILL MURRAY came up about
this time, and they seemed very much struck
with Uncle Cyrus philosophy. So BILL. who
is classical fellow, You know, and remember
ing how ALEXANDER THE GREAT questioned
DIoGENEs, thought he would PROFOUND little
conundrum to the philosopher from Hennepin
s'Why are the city bonds of st. Paul. said
BILL. - like geese feathers:"
Because" said Uncle CYRus, the city is
goose enough to he plucked of them every
year"
This seemed to embarrasS BILL very much,
but to please the President just as much On the
other hand. He said, in the greatest good
humor, that Uncle CYRrs was ''sound on the
goose" BILL. however. rallied again, and
came at CYRUS
why" said he. = is the Superior Railroad
like the American Union ?'-NIeaning, per-
haps, that they were both the work of patriot
ism like his own.
But Uncle CYRUS was ready for him.
Because" said he, - it Is to be enjoyed by
ages yet unborn
We then all left Uncle Cyrus picking his
geese. Yours truly, &c., I'D.