, 1864-04-09

tltutee, and lsraellteS, were Drawllng IN o
satanic mass Of iniquity; blood and mur-
der was the order Of the night. My child
screamed; my wife clung to my arm; she
would Il, she burst not, sleep in such q
place. 10 be brief: we had to wander in
che streets till tho morning; and l believe
that night, aided by broken heart, was the
f0rerunner Of her DEATH. II was the first
time had been compelled 70 walk trem-
bling for q night without shelter or TO sit
frozen on q threshold; and this, too, owe
to procrastination. .l..
1For time we rented a miserable gar.
ret, without furniture or fixture, at q shil-
ling weekly, which was paid in advance.
had delayed making application for EN-.
ployment tlll our last sixpence was spent.
We had passed a day without food; my
child appeared dying; my wife said no
thing, but she gazed upon her dear boy, and
shook her head with an expression that
wrung mt to the soul. Irushed out almost
in madness, aud, in state Of unconscious
ness, hurried from shop tOshOp in agitation
and in misery. 1t was vain, Appearances
were against me. was broken down and
detected, aud my state Of mind and man.
ncr appeared compound Of the maniac
and the black guard. At night l was COM
pelled TO return to the suffering victims of
my propensity, pcnnilcss and unsuccessful.
It was dreadful and a sleepless night with
us all; or, if l did slumber upon the hard
floor for q moment (for we had neither seat
nor cOvering,) il was to startle at the cries
Of my child wailing for hunger, or thesmO-
thered sighs Of my unhappy partner
Again and again / almost thought them
the voice Of the Judge, saying, Depart
from ME ye cursed
81 again hurried out with daybreak, for
/ was wretched, and resumed my inquiries;
but night came, and l again returned equally
succ,s fal. The yearnings Of my child
we're now terrible, and the streaming eyes
Of his fond mother, as she pressed his head
with her cold hand upOn her lap, alone dis
tinguished her from death. The pains Of
hunger in myself were becoming insup-
portable; my teeth gnashed against each
other, and worms seemed gnawingmy heart
strings. At Shis moment, my dear wife
looked me in the face, and, stretching her
hand to me, said, Farewell, my love-in
few houis and our dear child shall be at
rest! '0h! hunger, hungerP l could
stand no more. Reason fOrsook me. l
co..ld have died for them; but could not
beg. We hid nothing to pledge. Our
united wearing apparel would not have
brought shilling. My wife had pair Of
pocket Bibles q had once given them in
presently; my eyes fell upon them-I snatched
them up nObsorved-rushed from the
house, and--0 Heaven! let the cause for
give the act-pawhed them for eighteen
pence. ItsIyed our lives. Iobtai1ed en-
ployment, and, for few weeks, appeared
to have overcome my curse.
al am afraid grow tedious with par
ticulars, sir; itisaM old man sfault-though
I Itm not old either; am scarce ffty.6ve.
Af,er being three years in London, was
appointed foreman Of an extensive estab-
iishment in the Strand. / remained in
this situation about four years. II was one
OF resi- cctability and trust demanding,
hourly, q vigilant and undivided attention.
To another, il might have been attended
with honor and profit; but to me, IL ter
minated in disgrace. Amongst other du-
ties, l had the payment Of the jOurneymen,
and the giving out Of the work. They be-
ing numerous, and their demands frequent,
IL would have required clerk for the pro-
per discharge Of that duty alone. ! de-
Iayed entering At the moment in my books
the materials and cash given TO each, until
they multiplying upon my hands, and be-
getting consequent confusion, It became
imp ssible for me to make their entry with
certainty or correctness. The workmen
were not slow in discovering this, and not q
few Of the more proaigate improved upon
it TO their advantage. Thus, 1 frequently
found It impossible TO make both ends Of
my account meet and, in repeated in
stances, whero the weeks expenditure sS.
ceeded the general average, though satisfied
in my own mind Of its accuracy, from my
inability to state the particulars, in order to
conceal my in6rmity, l have accounted for
the overp.us from my own pocket. Mat.
ters weat on in this way for, q considerable
time. You will admit / was rendered
f-e .ng'y sensible Of my error, and ! re-
solved 70 correct il. But my resolutions
were always made Of paper; they were
like acomplaisant debtor-fhllo Of promises,
praying for grace, and dexterously evading
performance. Thus, day after day, l de-
ferred the adoption Of my new system TO a
future period. For, sir, you must be aware
there Is pleasure in pr0crastination, Of
nature the most alluring and destructive; /;
but il Is pleasure purchased by the sacri-
fee Of judgment; in its nature and results
il resembles the happiness Of the drunk
ard; for, in exact ratio as our spirits are
raiS,d above their proper Level, in the same
proportion, when the ardent effects have
eyaporated, they sink beneath that level,
IL was now too proud to work as q mere
journeyman, and ] commenced business for
myself; but ! began without capital, and
4 gourd Of sorrow hung over me, while l
stOOd upon sani. l had some creditj but
as my bills became payable, ! ever found !
had put of, till the very day they became
due, the means Of liquidating them then
had l to run and borrow Eve pounds from
one, and Eve shillings from another, urged
BY despair, II ,ln hundred quarters. Ny
creditors grew clamorous-my Wifs up.
braided mel few TO the bottlo--to the
bottlel" he repeated; "and my ruin was
complete my family, businesl, everything,