The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1864-11-11

"A leeter Will 0lteu O0obt Ot ~ R0Ou MT,
when, if It isn't oil 10 his eye, Il ought 10
be. rl5 f.-r r..cr
When the husband u,cs tobacco, tho wifo
had better try to make herself tobacco stop
per. t.,i........ ..r,,sr.e
You may prescribe only ono scruple OF
medicine for q sick man. and yet he may
havo n hundred scruples to take Il.
A woman in England has just been tried
for having Eve husbands. She said her ex.
pcrienco was trial enough. r'i ff l'
Be not angry that you can not make 9th
make yourself as you wish to bs. "aai
"T ON surprised. my dear. that have nov.
or seen you blush" "The fact 70 husband,
I was born to blush unseen. r.
There Ia a thread In our thoughts n therc
Is pulse in our hearts; he who can hold
tho one knows how to think, and he who
can move the other knows how to feel.
We aro dependent on Others moro than We
think, Tor even our own good opinion. We
think bcst OF ourselves when othes share our
favorable impressions. 'n M H
A dull person does some things bcttcr than
man OF genius; as an ivory paper folder
cut, the leaves Of books better than keen
blade. ....,.l ..a
Stubs and chum, hungry for lunch. .wers
served by mine host IAN lsraelite) with d
plate of chowder. Stubs gratefully remarked
ttkhok 10 80. . ,,,o.t Ia,.- ,sh. .,,s ovorn t;ru
A club Of hcnpecked husbands meet oncs
o week-that being their only day Of enjoy.
ment and rest When they adjourned, they
called II the rising Of the tied.
Truth being founded on rock, you may
boldly dig to see It's foundation without fear
of destroying the edifce but falsehood be-
ing laid on the sand, II you examine lis foun.
dations you cause its fall.
As people usually sprinkle tho floors before
they sweep them says an old fashelor, 20 some
ladies sprinkle their husband, with toars In
order that they may sweep the cash out Of
their pockets. .. g .a
Jolliboy Describes metaphysics as follows:
1.-Two men are talking together, and ono
of them is trying to explain something no
don't know anything about, and tho other
can't understand him."
Little Sallie was teaching her younger
brother ths Lords Prayer. They went on
very smoothly until they arrived at, "Giyo
us this day our daily bread" "No. nc, Sis
sy-we want cake !" and he refused to pro-
ceed until tho desired amendment was made.
Thomas. spell weather." sald school.
master TO one of his pupils. "W.i.e-a-t-h-
i.o.n.r, weather." .Wcll, Thomas, you
may sit down." said the teacher. "l think
this Is the worst spell Of weather wc have
had since Christmas"
"Will you have some catsup?" asked o
gentleman of Aunt Priscilla at q dinner tn
BILE. ''Dcar me. no. she replied, with shud.
der; "l'm fond Of cats In their place, but !
should as soon think Of eating dog SOUP"
The gentleman did not urge bcr.
Wealth. like beauty. Is generally dispar-
aged and eagerly sought. while poverty is
highly praised and carefully avoided by all.
II Is like case which often happens 10 80
ciety-culogixing pooplo whom we would
not associate with, and snccring at others
whom wo don't care To 'cut.
A brow beating counsel asked witness
how far hs had ben fron certain place.
"Just four yards, two feet and six inches."
Was the reply. "llow camo you TO be n OK.
act. my fricnd?'' Because ! expected some
fool or other would ask me tho question, % ]
measured It,"
A large and copulent Sergeant complained
one morning that tho hunks werc not wido
enough for two--that no was "crowdcd."
"Crowded!" says tho Captain, "good grs-
cious. I should think q man with such . Dol.
lyss you have, would bc crowded II he slspt
alone"
Tho Court Of Divorce has been engaged
in hearing case, brought BY mother 70
dissolve tlle marrisg, Of her son, on tho
ground that he WIS lunatic at the time Of
the IN ,rriagc. A crusty old bachelor trusts
that that plea will not be granted. as II may
separate half the young people In tho coun.
try.