, 1864-07-25

In the earlier part OF the American war,
Franklin went to Paris, IN hopes of obtain
ing pecuniary resources from Francs. For
some time he was unsuccessful, and being
invited TO a large party, gentleman OF.
Sc we'd:
alt must be owned, sir, that America
now exhibits to us grand and magnificent
spectacle!'
"True," replied the Doctor, drsly, abdt
the spectators do not payi'
"My dearest Maria,' Z wrote quito afEsss.
tionate husband to his wife, strong-minded
woman. She wrote back:
Dearest, let me correct either your
grammar or your morals, You address
me, MY dearest Maria. Ah to sup:
pose you have other dear Mariasf
~How," said country court Judge to 1
witness, ado you know the plaintiff was
intoxicated on the evening referred tor
Because saw him, a few minutes after
supPef, trying 10 pull OF his trousers WITH
boot;jack."
Verdict for defendant.
"Will you have some catsupl" asked Q
gentleman, Of Aunt Priscilla, at q dinuef
table. j. fssb ge
"Dear me, no." she replied with shud,
der; "rm fond Of cats in their place, but |
shou'd as soon think Of eating dog soup.''
The gentleman did not urge her.
"Boysl' exclaimed a wounded volunteer;
to two comrades, as they passed the other
day before tobacconist's and examined,
with the eyes Of connoisseurs, the brier Cf
bruyere wood pipes in his Window Boysl
Id give fifty dollars, If had it, for fouf
shillin's to buy one Of them pipes With"
WantOd--kn unllnited number Of young
men possessing the four good qualities of
stayaIhomeativeuess; antismokeatisenS
sutifndfaultati, eress, and antistingymind.
edness, with hearts capable Of appreciating
feminine disintcressedness. "a a7
:, q say, Granny, IS there anything good
what do you call good, my ehAdl''
"Oh, you know something jiolly--about
murder or FIRE, or anything of that
sort"
Some elderly gcntl5mat wifi please III:
E6rni tie public whether the pain Is greater
when man cuts his teeth or when his teeth
cut him? And whether it is more disai::
greeable to have no appetite for ones din
ner, or no dinner for ones appetitei
A eountryman, who got situation al
the west-end Of London, on entering a room
where there was a globe Si,h goldfish, ex-
claimed;
"welI, this is the 6rst time ever saw
red behring's alive!
There are some nice girls "down East"
In South Penobscot some Of them hauled
a barred of -four on hand-sledge two mileS
to the Rev. Mr.. Dunbaf, Of Penobseot
and delivered IL 20 him as Thanksgiving
present. =
"My German friend, how long have ycati
been marriedw
"vell, dat ish a ting vat seldom donf
likes for to be sprechin' bout, but. ven I
does. it seems to NE bout so long Is never
vas.'
"Little boy, can / 60 through this gate
to the riverl" politely inquired q fashion.
ably-dressed lady.
"Praps so; load Of hay got through
this morning."
An Irish guide told br. johnson, who
wished for reason why echo was always
OF the feminine gender, that:
Maybe it was because sic always hal
the last word"
DR.. Davy has satisfied himself that tho
eggs Of birds are galvallc batteries. That
is probably the ra,on why, when stales
they are shocking
'.Whu's there?" said a policeman to 8
passing figure one dark night.
ats /; don't be afraid" kindly rttlfsd
an old woman.
An old bachelor, seeing the words "fam:
lilies supplied. over the door of shop;
stepped in and said be would take q wife
aud two children.
When you strike q balance, expect III!
the blow will be returned.