The Union. [volume] (Georgetown, Del.) 1863-1866, 1864-01-01
attit, avisdntm, mud 3nmnr.

people who live at some distance from large
towns or villages, and who seldom see stran-
gers. When one happens to come along the
people ask him all sorts of questions about
himself, and where he came from, etc. On
one occasion, an agent travelling with books
stopped at house of rather mean appearance,
and asked for glass of water. The woman
of the place cordially invited him to walk in
and take cheer, which he did, and then con-
yersation ensued.
"Reckon yer stranger in these ereparts,
amt ye? I never seed you afore," said the
woman.
81 have just arrived" was the response
"Do tell Whar du We belong tn when
yer tn hum, if mought be so bold?"
The agent began to perceive what kind of
character he had to deal with, and resolved
tn give her all the information in his power
without waiting to be questioned, SO he said .
"My name is Tilton-I shall soon be twenty
six years of age-was born and still live in
the city of New York-am unmarried, and
consequently have no children-by occupa-
ton, am book agent-am worth about
fifteen hundred dollars clear in the world, and
Il"
The woman interrupted him:
"Did yer say you'd got nary wife?" and
she glanced over her shoulder to where her
daughter Betsy Ann was sitting.
81 did; why did you ask %
"Bekose yer amt making any cal'lations
on gitten nary one, then, be YET"
"Not at present" answered the agent.
eyer wouldn't hev any on the gals round
these diggins, would yer" asked the mother.
"Why not?"
"Cause they's tanned up SO black. But if
ye tuck one of 'em to the city" (winking at
Betsy Ann,) she'd come out white afore
spring"
The agent promised to think of it, and left
as soon as possible.
MIcKEY's CUTENEss.-Mickey takes care of
the horses at one of our hotels. Yesterday
dashing establishment drove up, the propri-
etor of which said to Mickey, with his bland
est smile:
"Take good care of the horses, Mickey.
Rub EN- down well, keep 'em clean, and give
EN- plenty of oats. I'LL see you before go
away"
"Yis, yer honor" said Mickey, they'll
get whatever they need, and more too be-
sides. But in case your honor and meself
shouldn't mate again, wouldn't you be good
enough to look at me now"
The look was given; our traveller ''saw it,"
and nice fifty-cent postal warmed the palm
of Mickey's hand directly thereafter.
QUESTIONABLE IDENT1TY.-An old farmer
who had visited the city with load of wood,
once upon a time, and had imbibed ''the ar
dent" pretty freely on his return ''homeward
bound" trip, while riding astride the
tongue" of his cart, fell asleep. The oxen
hearing nothing from their MASTER conclued
to stop and take Arrest The team was found
in this position on the road by some wags,
who, for the sake of the fun, unhitched the
oxen, which stated for home at snce The
authors of the mischief took position behind
a fence to hear what the farmer would saw
when he ''waked up"
In due time he was heard uttering.
"Where am I, and who am Z? If I'm Joe
Jones, I've (hic) lost yoke of oxen. If I'm
somebody else, I've (hic) found cart"
AN ingenious person has discovered that
the three most forcible letters in our alpha
bet are N R G that the two which contain
nothing are M I; that four express great
compliance, o B CT; that two are in de-
cline, D (; that four indicate exalted station.
X L N @; and three excite cur tears, vet,
when pronounced together, are necessary to
good understanding; L E G.
AN old Yankee, when he was told by an
English tourist in this country that the cele-
bration of the 18th of July would soon be ex-
tinct, answered: "See here, stranger, don't
talk that way. tell you when the resur-
rection day comes around, the first thing
done in the morning will be to read the Dec
laration of Independence"
A correspondent tells of soldier wounded
by shell from Fort Wagner. He was going
to the rear with mutilated arm.
Wounded by shell ?" he was asked.
Yes" he coolly answered, 81 was right
under the darned thing when the bottom drop
ped out"
WHAT, Miss, you here from boarding
school, and without asking my permission? %
said an anxious father. Chats bad what
motive brought you now ?" ''The locomotive.
pa" ''The locomotive? That's good" "Why,
pa, you just said it was bad" "Did 1? Well.
there forgive you"
WHEN Cromwell first coined his money. an
old cavalier, looking upon one of the new
pieces, read this inscription on one side:
"God with us" on the othor, ''The Common
wealth Of England" 81 see," said he, "God
and the Commonwealth are on different Sides"
FELLOW FEELING "This is what they
call a fellow feeling for man." as the thief
said when the policeman was cropping after
him in the dark.
IT is bad sign to see a man with his hat
OF at midnight, explaining the theory and
principles of true democracy to lamppost.