The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1864-12-07
For the North Iowa Times.
SHORT PATENT SERMON.
BY CARTWRIGHT, JR.

.Sulject.-The Origin and End Of Nan.
TExr.-"Milk and swathe at first his whole demand; ;
His whole domain at last turf or stone.'
My HEARERS Man boasts himself the
lord of this lower creation, and prides him
self upon the dignity of his nature, the
extent and capacity Of his powers, his
ability to reason, compare, judge and deter,
mine the force Of circumstances, the cause
Of various phenomena, and the vast extent
and boundless domain Of thought, feeling
and science. His powers are vast, his at
tainments grand, his ability sublime, his
thought swifter than the electric current;
and, compared with the lover orders Of
animals, he is truly grand and noble C, ca
ture. But considered apart from such
companions, what is he "A mere bubble
on the face Of existence-a thing which to-
day is, and to morrow isn't-a being whose
original is but lump Of common clay, and
in too many cases so awkwardly moulded
as to indicate that his physical form was
gotten up by ajourneyman. Hes trundled
into existence by the force Of circumstances
over which he has no control-as helpless
as sucking dove, and with less than half
the gumption Of a juvenile geese.
We see him at first but the little red
bunch of nlatter-fashioned into the form
of mundanity, but too feeble to crawl even
to the bosom Of his mother for sustenance
A being Of immortality, yet wholly inca.
pable Of providing for mortal existence
the most perfect specimen of utter help
lessness that ever inhabited these terrestrial
shores only capable of suLsisting upon
the milk of his mother, and yet lacking
intelligence and instinct sufficient to find
that; qualified only to draw sustenance
from the maternal bosom, but wanting in
ability to distinguished between maternal
pap and its own fat little digts. A being
destined to an eternity of existence, yet
without the ability to provide for an inch
and a quarter of time. A spirit Of priceless
value, lodged in body very much resem.
bling a boiled lobster. All he wants is
everything he needs-and what that is he
has no more conception Of than donkey
has of doomsday.
Ny text says, milk and a swathe at first
his whole demand,'' but never heard one
of these little living specimens of animated
dirt make any demand that could be under.
stood; and it always has been puzzle to
me how my friend Young managed to un-
derstand what sort Of demand they did
make; for to my ear their first wailings are
as unintelligible as mixture Of cater.
waulings and broken Chinese, sung in
Dutch.
My friends-to my mind it is tolerably
certain that the primal origin Of man had
its rise in the long gone and tolerably dark
age of antiquity several hundred years
before merchant tailoring was established,
and at least century and a half before Jew
clothing stores were in any great demand
Old fatheI Adam, according to tradition
was tall, swarthy specimen Of the Indian
tribe, and Eve was blushing but dusky
young squaw, hardly in her teens, when he
fell in love with, ard married her, in true
oriental style, and would have taken her to
his lodge as well as his bosom, if he had
only possessed lodge to take her to-
They seem, from the best account have
of matters, to have lived in very simple,
unaffected style, and l take it they had
been married some time before Eve discov-
cred the necessity Of wearing even pima
fore, and when or at what time Adam
donned his first pair of breeches, remains
a matter Of conjecture to this day, and will,
suppose, to the fag end Of earthly here
after.
But from the very simple style Of dress
worn in those early days, by slow degrees
innovation after innovation has crept into
society until simplicity has been frightened
out Of countenance by all sorts of con-
trivances, and society in general, and man
in the abstract, has become as artificial as a
monkey in knee and Wellington
boots. Once, an infant specimen Of the
intelligent biped race was suffered to enjoy
free use Of all his little powers-his only
clothing, primal nudity but now, no sooner
does the little animal see the light, than
he must be decked out in frou. sixteen to
twenty. four yards Of flannel and dimity,
and made to look and fe eel as uncomfortable
and as unnatural as pair Of female drawers
on bean pole.
My dear hearers. Did you ever see one
of these little infant specimens, as it was
thrust into the world, noleas Uolens? Did
you ever listen to its first helpless wailings,
and mark its utter want of all ability to
provide for its own wants, to relieve its own
necessities, to increase its own joys, or
alleviate its own sorrows? If you never
have, it is sight that might be useful to
you all. though would by no means re-
commend it as competing with a cattle show
in the agricultural fair grounds. All, my
friends. you are wonderfully elevated in
your own opinions, and to judge Of your
origin from the estimate you put upon
yourselves, one must suppose that you had
been struck off from some wonderful god
Of mythology by ,hs fortuitous sledge-
hammer of circumstances, and made your
appearance upon the grand theatre of mum
dane existence in no less character than
Falstaff, in his renowned encounter with
the twenty men in Buckram. But the
truth is you came into existence with less
knowledge than calf, and twice as helpless