The Burlington weekly hawk-eye. [volume] (Burlington [Iowa]) 1860-1876, 1864-03-05

the crowd Is difficult to keep at Il distance
bv "A guard. At last the body is examined,
life pronounced extinct, and the cofiined
body entrusted 10 lis friends.-C9euet0ad
LeGGer.
HONEST ABE AS A HuMoRIsT.-Aboutt the
time when there was considerable grum-
bling as to the delay in forwarding to the
troops the money due them, western pay
MASTER in full ma ors attire, was one day
introduced at a public reception. Being
here, Mr.. Lincoln said he, i thought I'd
| call and paw my respects. From the com
| plants OF the soldiers responded the Pres
| ident i guess that's about ali any OF you do
pay
| II is told bv general correspondent, who
| is probably reliable, that Mr.. Lincoln was
walk ing up Pennsylvania Avenue the 9TH
er day relating "a little story to Secretary
Seward, when the latter called his atten-
ton TO a new sign bearing the name OF Il.
r. Strong Hal! says old Abe his coun-
tenance lighting up with peculiar smile,
| IT. II. Strong, but coffee are stronger
Seward smiled but said nothing. And We
don't see how he could reply after so afro
cious thing as that.
1t is stated that he was much disguised
at the crowd of officers who some time age
used to loiter about the Washington hotels,
and he is reported to have remarked to
member of Congress: These fellows and
the congressman do veX me sorely.' An.
other member of Congress was conversing
with the President, and was somewhat an
noyed at the Presidents propensity to di.
vert attention from the serious subject he
had on his mind, by iudicrouS illusions
| Mr.. Lincoln said he, Il think you would
have your Joke if YOU were within a mile o.
hell Yes said the President, that is
about the distance to the Capitol
| Some one was smoking in the presence
| Of . n
having no vices, neither drinking mol
smoking. THAT is doubtful compliment,
answered the President. 4 recollec, once
being outside stage in Illinois and a mar
sitting by me offered me a cigar. tolc
nlm ! had no vices. He said nothing
smoked for some time, and then grunteC
out. Its my experience that folks who
have no vices have plagued few virtues
','hc President - rather vain OF bis
hight, but one day Il young man called or
him who was certainly three inches taller
than the former; he was like the mathe
NAUTICAL definition OF the straight line
length without breadth. Really said Mr.
Lincoln, j must look up 20 you; II you
ever get in deep place you ought to b'
able TO wade out That reminds us Of thu
story told of Mr.. Lincoln somewhere whei
a crowd called him out. He came out OF
the balcony with his wife who is some
what below medium hight and made tn
following brief remarks: Here / am, ant
here is Mrs. Lincoln. That's the loni
and short of it,
A gentleman, it is said, some time ag,
} limited to the President that it was deemed
quite settled that he would accept a re
nomination for his present office, where
upon Mr.. Lincoln was reminded of a story
of Jesse Dubois out in Illinois. Jesse, q
} State Auditor, had charge of the Stat
House at Springfield. An itinerant preach
| ol<~ ly,l h<a Nfi
lecture. ON what subject?' asked Jesse
. ON the second coming of our Savior, an
!. swered the long faced Millerite. % bosh,
, retorted Uncle Jessie testify: 4 guess If on
) Saviour had ever been to Springfield, an,
} had got away with his life, he'd be to-
, smart to think of coming back again. :
! This, Mr.. Lincoln said, was very much hi
case about the succession.
: Some moral philosopher was telling tn
President ono day about the undercurren
of public opinion. He went on to explain
: 1t at length. and drew an illustration from
} the Mediterranean sea. The curren
! seemed very curious1y to flow in from tn
Black sea and the Atlantic ocean, but
shrewd Yankee, by means OF contrivanc
of floats. had discovered that at the Quite
, into the Atlantic only about thirty feet O
3 the surface water flowed inward. Will
there was tremendous current under tina
} flowing out. .Well,' said Mr.. Lincoln
much bored; that don't remind me of an,
, story l ever heard Of The philosophe
despaired of making a serious impression
bv his argument, and left.
EFFECTS LEFT Ely DECEASED OFFICERS
By a new order, Surgeons in charge Q
. hospitals must furnish the nearest relative
, of commissioned officers who die, with al
inventory of the effects left by the deceas
ed. The articles, if not called for at the ex
piration Of two months, will be sold at auc
, as prescribed by the Regulations for tn
, effects Of enlisted men. Swords, watche
; and trinkets will not be thus sold, nor an,
i, articles of that class, but will be labele'
. with the deceased officers name, rank AM
regiment, and date of his death, and depos
{ tied with the Second Auditor.