The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1864-04-14
Am Experiment that Didn,s work.

AN experiment that Dtdn't Work.
This will be inferred from the following
efusion of that distinguished disciple of VAL
landigham, Petroleum V. Nasty.
CHURCH Nv THE SHATTERED INYocENrs.
LAIT ST. VALLANDIGHAM.
Mankind IL the most preverse and onre-
zonable ov the human family. While they
assent principle, they never will put it
into pracktis eff it bares hard onto en- as in
divijules tn wit:
| he'd bin for several weeks deliverin
coarse Nv leckters on the divinity of slavery.
| argood that the instltooshen wuz based up
on the inferiorety NV wun 2 another-that
| it wuz not only wise but a bootiful pre-
vision Nv nacher, that the strong shood hev
charge NV the week, guiden and pertekt-
in and wurkin NV EN-. This lice plezed my
congregashen vastly and fifteen or twenty
NV the strongest perposed that shood put it
into pracktis, jest show the world that the
CRATE doctrine Good be carried out jest as well
in the North ez in the South. To which
assented, to wunst, and at the next bizipies
meeting, the folerin plan wuz adopted. The
members Nv the congregashen shood tri their
strength, and sech ez Good lift 600shood own
possess in fee simple, all them as coodent.
The trial was he'd, the divishen maid, and
was happy at bein the umble instroment
Nv plantin the CRATE instooshen on Northern
sile.
But alas OWN the perversity Nv the hui
man mind, aforesaid, it didn't work. Old
John Podhammer raised his 600 with the
greatest eeze, while Bill Sniffies who WOE a
wurkin fer him fer Is dollars munth, Good
mt fetch it. Podhammer went over to Bills
cabin the next mornin, and SEE he, evil
yum, frum this time hentz4th, and furever
yu air my man. Ez all slaiv hez IL hiz
masters, the Is dolers owe.you,o or did owe
you before this blessid sistenl wus establish,
i shall kepe, and ez 700 hev moar furnytoor
than beny6ts your lowly condishun, | will
send team over tomorrow, and talk your
bewro and stand and bedstid up tn my house,
and
At this iuncture, in Gums Mrs. Snifles,
who kin lift 600 with old Podhammer on the
top Nv it, and wuz no time afore she dis
kivered wat his biznlz waz. She turned read
in the face. She said:
''Yoor gon to talk my furnytoor ?"
''Certingly."
''And we are your slaivs? ?"
''Uv coarse"
''And you ken sell my children?'
''Natterally."
'And you kin maik me yoor conkerbine?"
EFF wish"
''Yoo old beast" shreekt the infooriated
female chattei, forgettin her normal con-
dishun, ''yu sell my babys, yu talk my fur
nytoor, drot yu I'll Civ yu sum Nv it now"
where upon she hurled a chair which lade
him prostrait on the floor, when she pickt
him up and slung him out the dore.
1t did not end here; Podhammer he'd in
hiz hand patchwork kuverlid, which he
thot he wood talk with him, and when he
cu,n tn, he walkt off with it, Whereupon
Mrs. Sniffles he'd him tue up on charge Nv
steeling, and he wuz actooally tried, found
gilty, and sent tn jale fer so daze. How
! kin we establish Demekratic institushens,
wen the Cortz wont recognize the laws Nv
nacher? The experiment for the present,
hez the apperentz ov a failyer.
PETROLEUM Y. Massey,
Pastor NV sed Church, in charge.