American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1864-07-13
WET AND WISDOM.

ever W oDtdin any thlhS NdludpIe Is to
pass them around for pennies.
NEVER relate your misfortunes, and
never grieve over what you cannot pre-.
vent.
AGE.-When men grow virtuous in
their old age they are merely making a
sacrifice to God of the Devils leavings.
He that has no Friend and no Enemy
is one Of the vulgar; and without Tai
ents, Powers, or Energy.
THE Passions act as Winds to propel
our vessel Reason is the Pilot that steers
her; without the winds she would be lost.
WHEN men are brought together they
listen to one another; but women and girls
look at one another.
IT is said there are but two sexes, but
you have only to come to Armstrong coun-
ty to find Middle-sex.
THE lawyers of Adrain, Michigan, are
on strike, The people are debating
whether to give them bigger wages or to
live quietly and starye them out
A YANKEE editor says he liked to
died larfn, to see drinkin chap tryin
to pocket the shadow of a swinging sign
for a pocket handkerchief"
THE daily Papers all record the fact
that the stone cutters have struck. Wide
Awake inquiries how they can cut stone
without striking?
A VICTIM of sea-sickness described
the sensations thus: e. The first hour /
was afraid l should die and the second
hour I was more afraid l shouldn't"
ATHEIsM.-Thore is no being eloquent
for Atheism In that exhausted receiver
the mind cannot use its wings-tho clear
est proof that it is out of its element.
You don't understand your business,
landlord; did you never have gentle
man stop with you before? " No, not if
you are a specimen"
Mrs, PARTINGToN expressed her ap-
prehension that the people of the gold re-
gions will bleed to death as the papers
are constantly announcing the opening of
another vein,
WHEREFORE is a darky, with no hair
on the top of his head, like candidate
for club who has been rejected by its
members ?" Because he's a BLACK BALD
individual.
Mr.. JONES, don't you think marriage
is means of grace?"
Certainly; anything is a means of
grace that leads us to repentance"
Scene closed with a broom-handle.
OPPORTUNITY has Hair in front, behind
she is bald; if you seize her by the fore
lock, you may hold her, but if suffered
to escape, not Jupiter himself can catch
her again.
HARTFORD, one Of the back towns in
Maine, without lawyer, physician or Ii
quor agent within its borders, has not on
ly filed all her quotas, but has surplus
for another call
LOCAL politics ran high in the West
ern country. A candidate for county
registrary, in Texas, offered to register
marriages for nothing. His opponent un-
disnayed, promised to do the same and
throw the cradle in
The following is genuine Alabama po-
etry. 1t is addressed by female secesh
to her lover in the Confederate army:
"Ifs bard for you'uns to live IN camp;
Its hard for you'uns to 6ght the Yanks;
Its hard for you'uns and wouns TO part;
For you all know you have got Se'uns hearts"
IT is said that there are people in the
Mountain District" of Kentucky so
green that they followed wagon that hap
pened to pass that way, twenty miles,
just to see whetherthe hind wheels would
overtake the fore ones"
A MAN brought before justice of the
peace in Vermont, charged with some
petty offence, pleaded in extenuation a
natural infrmity. should have made
considerable figure in world, Judge"
said he, "if I hadn't been a fool; it's a
dreadful pull-back to a man"
A YANKEE traveller, describinga a dough-
nutof unusually large proportions, which
he purchased in Buffalo, says -
Itwas one of those stupendous achieve
ments Of art which are only attempted in
the vicinity Of the great works of Nature
ike the Niagara Falls"