Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-08-02
Avtell,us Ward on Matters and
Things.

!. uA ias nich not only air gems of art
IN % selves but they tfoothfally cit forth
assraotlen o. my show--a show let me
here observe, thai contains many liyin'
anitaeis every one Of which has got a
Beenilel Mefal
Ihsa hanabills is sealpit in New York.
Y ! ane9glly repair here TO get some more
8 ssia' befe. I thoss ia issoo a Address
t0.the peblic oh matters ana things.
SIiEcs 'Ass mcyandered these streets,
| haxe elp al over the Pacific Slope aud
Utah cum back now, with my virtue
Nnlm ailed, but I've got to ger some new
eliot e.
Many changes have taken place, even
duria ~ shoTb absence, q sum on nm is
Sollum " contaippuhte. TIE house ID
Vdrick street, where ! used to board. is
hein' torn down. That house, which was
rendered memorable by my Twin into it,
is 'parsin' away parsin' awayp But some
Of the timbers will be made into canes.
which will be cold to my admirers at the
low price Of one dollar each. Thus is
changes goin' on contiDsrly. To the Rev
World it is war-in the Old World empires
is totterin & Gysentaries is crumbliug.-
These canss'is' cheap OF a dollar.
Sammy Booth, Duane street, sculps my
handbills, & he's artist. He studied in
Rome-State of New York.
I'm here to read the proof.sheets of my
handbills as fast as they'er scuIpt. You
have to watch these ere printers pretty
close, for they'er as apt to spell a wnrd
roug az anyhow.
But / have time to look round sum, &
how do frd things return to the
Atlantic States after az absence of ten
months, and what State do ! find the coun-
try in? Suffice it to say, do not find il
in the State of New Jersey.
! find some things that is cheeriu, par
tic'ly the receive on the part Of the wimin
Of America to stop vearin furri6' goods.
| never NEEDLE with my wite's things.
She may wear muslin from Greenland's
icy mountains, and BON bazeen from Iujy's
coral strands, if she wants to; but I'm glad
to state that superior woman has peeled of
all her Turin clothes-and jumpt into fab
RIGS of domestic manufacture.
But, say sum folks, If you stop importin
things you stop the RevenooG THAT'S all
right. On the same principle young men
should continue to get drunk on French
brandy. and to smoke their liver as dry as
a corn cob with Cuby cigars, because
4-sooth if they don't, it will hurt the Rev
enoo This talk about the ReGenoo is of
the bosh, boshy. One thing is tol'bly GER
taiu-if we don't send gold out Of the coun-
try we shall have the consolation of know
ing that it is in the country. So l ray
great credit is doc the wimin for this pat
riotic move-and to tell the trooth, the
wimin generally know what they're about.
Of all the blessings they're the soothinists,
1t there'd never bin any wimin, where
would my children be to day.
But / hope this move will lead to other
moves that air just as much needed, one of
which is gepral and therrer curtainment
of expenses al round. The fact is we air
gettin terribly extravagant, & onless We
paws 10 pur mad career, in less than two
years, the goddess of liberty will be seen
dodgin into Pawn Brokers' shop With the
otbe. grown done up in bundle, even if
she don't have to Spout the gold stars in
her head-band. Let US all take hold Unity,
and live and dress ce1tsibly, like our fore
fathers, who kc0w'd moren we do if they
want quite SO honest. (Suttle goaken.)
There air other cheerin signs. We
don't for instans, lack great in'rals, and
we certainly don't lack brave sOljers-but
there's one thing ! wish we did. lack, and
tLat is our present Congress.
Iventure to say that if you sarch God
lemity's foOtstool all over with ten horse
power mikriseOpe, you won't be able to
find such another pack OF poppycock CAB
blers az The present Congress Lf the United
States of America.
Gentlemen of the Sentit & of the House,
you've SGT there and draw'd Sodr pay and
made summer complaint speeches long en-
uff. The country at large, ineloodin the
undersigned, is Disguised with you. Why
dotf't you show us stAtesman-sumbody
who can make a speech that will hit the
popular hart right under the great public
weskit? Why don't you show us a states
man who can rise up to the emergency, and
cave in the emergeney's head
Congress, you won't do. Go howe, you
mizzerble devils-go hOmei
At a special congressional lection IN Inv
district the other day, l delibritly voted for
Henry Clay. / admit that Henry Is dead,
but inasmuch as we don't seem to have a
! live statesman in our national Congress,
let as by all means have frst-elass
corpse.
And now, with genuine hurrar for the
wimin who air goin' to absndin fuffin
goods, and another for the patriotic every
where. I'll leave public matters and in
dulged in little pleasant family gos-
sip.
NY reported captured captur by the
| North American saViiis Of Utah, led nv
wide circle of friends and creditors to think
that had bid ado0 to earthly things, and
was an augel playIo on golden harp
! uents my rival home was unexpected.
1t was ii p. NJ. when-I reached nv
homestid and knOckt healthy knock on
the door thereof.
A nightcap thrusted itself out of the
front chamber wipder (It was my Betsy q
uightcap.) And vols ssd;
1T is o mani answered in gruf
vols.
i don't b'leeve it 2 she sed.
Then come down and search me- re-
piled,
Then resumin my .naeral vols, sed, III
is your own A W, Betsey Sweet lady
wake Ever of thoup
Oh she said, tits you, is tiff / thought
/ smelt something
But the old girl vas glad to see me.
70 the mornin found that nv family
were entertaiDin' artist from Phiiadek
] puldJ WIN was buSEo potubiu sOule otaFtuL
waterfall and mountains, and moriBRds.
peceed he had hankerin for my 0lsss
dauter. 81
Mr.. skimmerhorn, father sed my dau-
| ter.
Glad to see you, SIR repliede in {
hospitle vols, g lad to see YOU
He is an artist, father said my dau-
ter.
"A whichist?' er
An artist. A painter
Aud gazier p askt. Are you
painter and glazier, sir ??
Ny dauter and wife was mad, but
couldn't help it. felt in comikil mood
1T is a wonder to me, sir sed the artist
'consideriu what q widespread reputation
700 have that some of our Eastern mana.
| gers don't secure you.'
IFS wonder to me- said my wife