American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1864-04-06
WITT AND WISDOM.


should invariably be beef.
WHY didn't the last dove return to the
ark because it had sufficient ground
for remaining
THOSE two Englishmen who discover
ed the source of the Nile, should come
over here and discover q the last ditch"
WHEN the wind. whistles through your
keyhole, it expects you to whistle with it.
1t is sounding the keynote.
ORIGINALLY the term of human life
was thousand years; but that was be-
fore there were doctors.
AN Ohio paper says" Some say there
are but two sexes-the male and female
but you have only to get into Massachu-
setts to find Middlesex"
If the alphabet were alive, why would
you find it difficult to kill it? Because
you couldn't put the letter B out of " Be
ing"
A LADY in Western city advertises
for a gentleman for breakfast and tea
Does she intend to make only two meals
of him?
AN Irishman, writing a sketch of his
life, says he early ran away from his faith
er, because he discovered he was only his
uncle
THE common opinion is, that we should
take good care of the children at all sea-
sons of the year; but it is well enough in
the winter to let them slide
A YOUNG gentleman was fondling his
betrothed's hand " | hope it is not coun-
terfeit," he said. "Thc best way to test
it is to ring it," was her reply.
A DANCER once said to a Spartan, ''You
cannot stand on one leg as long as 1 can"
Perhaps not" said the Spartan, but
any goose can"
A DUTcHMAN's heart-rending solilo-
guy is described thus: f" She loves Shon
Mickle so peter as I, because he has got
coople tollars more as l has"
IT'S a sad thing when men have neith-
er heart enough to speak well, nor judg-
ment enough to hold their tongues this
is the foundation of all impertinence.
AN old bachelor being told that a young
man of his acquaintance had Just got
married, exclaimed Alas what pity
it is one should come to misfortune so
young"
A SPLENDID specimen of photography
is seen in the window of beer house in
the neighborhood of Poplar street, Phila-
delphia :--'Table Bear Sowld Herr, tup-
pens Cwart."
A WRITER, dwelling upon the impor-
tance of small things, says that he always
takes "note even of straw" especially,
perhaps, if there's sherry cobler at the
end of it.
A CORRESPONDENT tells of soldier
wounded by shell at Fort Wagner. He
was going to the rear with a mutilated
arm.
Wounded by a shell 2" he was asked.
Yes" he coolly answered, II was un-
der the blamed thing when the bottom
dropped out"
WONDER what's de reason dis saw
mill don't go now ?" asked a. a.country ne
gro who hadn't seen much of the world
addressing his more high-learnt," vii.
lage friend.
Dat succumstance argues easy 'Dough,
answered the other; de reason is cause
dare am not sufficient number of water ,
PoPPING.-Mr. Popp, of Popville, fan
cying himself to be very popular with his
lady love, popped the question" to hel
under the poplar tree, when she referred
him to her poppy, who, when asked fo
his consent, laboring under the infuenc'
cf ginger pop, popped him out of thu
door to the tune of Pop goes the weas
ell"
E MILES O'REILLY, the soldier who wa
arrested ON Morris Island, s. G., for ma
king poetry, and pardoned by the Presi
dent, in response to a witty poetical peti
t ton, has sent hymn of thanks to thu
President, beginning:
l along life to you, Msther Lincoln;
:. May you die both tate an asy
Ar whn you lie wild the top of aich toe
| Turn'd up TO the roots Of daisy,
May this be your epitaph nately writ
4 Though thrators abused him vilely,
He was honest an kindly, he loved joke,
An he pardond Miles 0Roiiy.