Daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1865, 1864-09-28
a au..tlon I'd Ansy.er.


In the correspondence column ofNOsh'S
Times and Rssseagz we End the following
question and answer:
Ques6on.-"In your paper of last week
you refer me for an answer to my question
[tWhether it is correct for a gentleman to
kiss lady friendly TO the reply tos'Iss-
BELLE But my case is different one: If it
were like hers should have no doubt on
the subject The gentleman, in my case,
is not a married man, and has for some
time past paid me considerable attention.
/ do not know whether these attentions
are serious or not. BE tells me he wishes
to ascertain my feelings with regard to
him, and takes my refusing to allow him TO
kiss me as a rebuff. Now, please tell me
whether you think be is in earnest, or
whether it is only an aPology7 Excuse
my troubling you 50 often, but l wish to
do right. l am not living with my pa
rents, and have no one to ask advice of.
Moreover, / like the said gentleman, but do
NOT wish TO make myself TOO cheap either,
nor to offend him. Should be not first as
certain from me by the direct question
whether ] care for him or not, or judge in
another way?"
AnsEeF-You ask us q question difficult
to answer, for some times il is perfectly
modest and proper for q lady to allow 8
gentleman to kiss her, and some times it
is not. AS you are not with your parents,
and you ask rs TO advise you in their stead,
We prefer to be considered little too fss-
tidious than to be suspected of giving
counsel which might in any event lead to
misfortune. In your case, therefore, We
do not hesitate to say that You have pur-
sued a discreet course, and that if you
persistently bat politely object TO being
kissed by any gentleman but the one des-
tined to be your husband, even the snitor
who now yeArns for the favor viii respect
you, in his heart, so much the more for it.
If he get offended at yonr strict interpre-
tarion of modesty, let him 60. His evident
ly loose notions of what constitutes a wo-
mans greatest charm would never permit
him to appreciate you as he should Since
you really ike him, it Is still more in
dispensAble that you should exercise
that sort of self control which amounts 10
self denial; il will the better keep you, as
we'll as him, from q temptation TO err
finding an excuse afterwards, in mutual
love, for mutual error. Any gentleman
can discover his position in q lady's regard
If be possesses ordinary tact, without ask
ing her plainly and squarely whether or
moi she loves him. Her look, her manners,
her actions, all betrsy her to The observant
understanding, unless she be & capital
actress, -sRd, commonly speaking, the
'sacting" is quite as much upon the gen.
tlemauis side, 10 a wooing match, as upon
q lady's. 1t is because be suspects you
like him that your suitor, perhaps, imag-
ines be can persuade you TO abandon yonr
idea of perfect womEnIy purity. UDde-
eefVe hIm BY your courteous but stesdfAst
refusal If be really loves you he will
soon endeavor to compass bis desire by
opening his heart and Offering you his
hand. If be has DO such intention, why
should you purchase the attentions of q
mere dangler at the expense Of your sense
of feminine delieRcyf