The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1864-08-25
Bill Jones Among the Girls.

Bill Jones Among the Girls.
The following story, contributed by a
country friend to the N. o. Delta. is too
good to be lost "though," says the Delta,
"its raciness may not accord with the ex-
alted tastes Of the Miss Nannities who
Dress the legs of their tables in frilied
pantalettes, and faint over a nude cher
ub :"
sOld Squire Parish was an hospitable
Old soul. Every Friday evening it was
TIE delight of the girls at the Academy,
and the boys at the schools and college,
te go to old Squire Parish's farm, about
Elk miles from town, and stroll in the
woods, bathe in the creek, search the
orchard and the hens nests, and turn
everything about the premises upside
down. And old Squire Parish would sit in
his chimney corner, pipe in mouth, and tell
them stories about the first settlement of
the country, and how "Old Hickory
whipped the Indians-for the old Squire
had been in Jackson's army-and never
let the boys off without at least one story
about the "old man." as the Squire de-
lighted to call the General.
One Saturday, about the middle of the
afternoon, Bill Jones-a wild, harum-sca-
rum young man of some sixteen winters
rode up to tie Squire's door and hailed
the house. His summons was answered
by that black young rascal Josh, who
tod Jones mat the boys were gone
squirrelhunting "but you better believe
Massa B:ll," continued Josh, "that the
gals is carrying on high. Why, Massa
Bill, you can hear 'em squealing up here"
Jones soon learned that the girls had gone
TO their usual bathing place, which was at
the foot of high precipice, and only ap-
preached by that side by a solitary foot
path, which was guarded by ''Dinah."-
On the other side of the creek lay broad
sand bank, SO that 10 one could approach
1t without being seen. Jones had been at
the Squire's house SO often that he knew
all his stories by heart, and it was almost
impossible to find the boys in the woods
SO he determined to have some fun out of
the girls. About quarter of mile up
the creek lived "Old Aunt judy" and
there Jones and his attendant, Josh, i'm
mediately proceeded. While Josh went
to the old woman, and for fo' pence pur-
chased the largest gourd in hel possession,
Jones slipped behind the garden and
threw off his clothes then cutting off
enough Of the handle end of the gourd to
admit his mead, and making two holes for
his eyes, he slipped it on his bead and
jumped into the stream. So soon as the
gourd reached the point above the bathing
place, 1t commenced floating towards the
shore until within few yards of the
bathers, when it drifted against limb
which overhung the stream, and lodged.
If Jones had looked through the loopholes,
Che swears he didn'D he would have seen
sight that would haze made the gourd
Itself blush. On one rock were three or
four swimmers, alternately squatting down
and rising up or their heels, and initiating
the cry of bulfrog, and when one would
say "chug" they would all plunge into
the water, frog fashion. At another place
they we're striving to duck each other,
while third party was leading, by force,
into the water a coy damsel, who had been
too modest to undress before so many folks
But Jones gourd did not long remain un-
noticed in the water, and the damsel who
cspied it sailed up to it, seized it, and
with slight resistance it came Of, and dis
closed the curly head of Bill Jones =
Miss Betsey screamed, and Bill Jones
yelled !! Miss Betsy and the other bath
ers rushed up the bank, and Jones, in his
fright and confusion, followed them
Here the girls turned on him, seized him
aad threw Linn on his face, twined his
arms around sapling, and having
bound his hands with a haudker-
chief, Jones lay defenccless in tho power
of his captors. The girls now leisurely
dressed themselves, and then each provid-
ed herself with trim birch or willow rod,
and without further ceremony began ap-
plying them to the back, sides and legs
Of poor Jones. Jones twisted, and Jones
writhed; he drew himself up and spread
himself out he begged and he prayed
But In vain. His captors were insensible
to pity, until their arms were fatigued, and
their rods frayed into ribbons. Alas,
for poor Jones; he. was not yet to es-
cape. His tormentors provided them