The workingman's advocate. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1864-1877, 1864-09-17
WIT AND WISDOM.

Hope y the drum Of those who are awake
Boys on land often play the game Of pitch
and Toss When at sea, still oftener
10 keep Sailors Loq-booL property is con
sldered to be the Art Of Ledger s- Nam
The clergyman who came to a head in his
discourse was much disappointed to find no
brains in H.
When is the mother Of a large family like a
ship at sea 4: When she's upset by squall.
II can't say admire your style Of acting"
said a landlady to strollng player when she
caught him stealing the spoons.
Il woman has heart, She should never
suffer il 70 lie II her bosom as dead capital it
ought TO circulate and pay interest
Why is there no occasion for flute player
to 20 to Germany for his health Because he
can stay at home and breathe German air.
Coleman, the dramatist. was asked if he
knew Theodore Hook. Yes" replied the
Wit; "Hoot and Eye are old associates
A gentleman at a musical party asked a
friend, in a whisper, " How he should stir the
fire without iuJcrrupting the music" BE
treea the bars, replied the friend.
A gentleman asked a friend in q very know
ing manner, Pray, did you ever see a cat
fish F." 'No." was the response. but live
seen a rope-walk."
The British Empire, 2r, exclaimed am
orator, " is one on which theNsun never sets
" And one, replied an auditor IN which the
tax7gatherer never goes to bed.
a YANKEE has invented new and chear plan
for lodging. One Of his dodgers mesmerizee the
rest, and then eats hearty meal--the mesmer-
lied being satisfied from sympathy.
A PAINTER who was wen acquainted WITH the
dire effects OF law had u represent Two men
one wig had gained lawsuit, and Another who
had lost one. He painted the former with
shirt 81, and the latter naked
Nm. SMITH passed a pork-shop the other day
Mr.. Smith whistled The moment he did this
every sausage wagged its TAIL AZ d note 70
this, We should mention that The day before he
lost Newfoundland dog that weighed sixty
eight pounds
a SCHOLAR having fallen into the hands Of
robbers fastened 10 tree, and left SO nearly
all day, till one came and Embossed him. Now,
says be. "the old adage must be false, which
saith that the TIE tarrieth for no man
4 TRAVELLER relating his adventures. told the
company thr; he and his servants had made
fifty wild Arabs run; which startling hem ne
observed, that there was no great matter in IL
"For," says he, "we ran and they ran GiJer
Rs
An Irish gentleman, parting with lazy SER
want woman, was asked, with respect TO her
industry, whether she was what was termed
afraid to work "0h not at all, said he.
not at all; she'll frequently lie down and fall
fast asleep by the very side Of H.
A GAscoS nobleman had been reproducing
Els son for impatiance 81 owe you nothing"
said the unhlial young man. SO far from
having served me, yov have ever stood ID my
way for if you had never been, | should At
this moment be the next heir of my rich grand
mother"
:" How far j. it to Taunton 2" asked A country.
man, who walking exactly the wrong way
to reach that town. Bout twenty-four thou
sand niles" said the lad he asked, "if you 20
the way you are going now but about a mile,
if you turn round"
The Dayton Journal states that Fernando
Wood in a fine frenzy, during his speech made
recently in that city, said that if by Offering up
his own life he could stop the bloodshed that is
now affecting the country, he would cheerfully
do 50. An appreciative lrishman in the crowd
earnestly responded, =" 1t wud be mighty
chape.
A DuTCHNAS was relating his marvellous
escape from drowning when thirteen of his
companions were lost by the upsetting Of a
boat, and he alone saved. And how did you
escape their fate p asked ON of his hearers
g did not 20 in the bote, was the Dutehman's
placid reply.
/" Sir, said barber to an attorney who was
passing his door. sswill you tell me if this is
good halfsovereign The lawyer, pronounc-
ing the piece good, deposited it in his pocket.
adding with gravity, " If -ou'l send your lad
to my office III return the three and fourpence. ,
A LADY, whose fondness for generous living
had given her a flushed face and rubicand nose,
consulted DR. 0heyne. Upon surveying herself
in the glass she exclaimed. "Where in the name
Of wonder, Doctor, did | get such nose as
this ~ s'Out of the decanter madam"
replied the DOCTOR.