Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1864-03-11
All SORTS Of Shorts.

THE Administration is more injurious tc
the Constitution of the country than bad
whisky to that Of an individual.
3 HORNE TOoKE, when asked by George
III, whether. he played at cards, replied
81 cannot. your Majesty, tell a king from a
knave.n tf.Vlg ~
ALARGE portion of the radicals want some
body more radical than Mr.. Lincoln rs next
President. They will have to dig pretty
deep to find him.
THE Louisville Democrat asks If it is an
excuse to run away from lighted shell
merely because you don't like its fz?
OLD Ben. Butler says he has found that a
good many Of his chaplains are less fond of
comforting his dying officers and soldiers
than of waiting to console their widows.
PUNCH says gentleman in the pit of the
Adelphi Theater remarked that he very
much preferred Miss Bateman's Lear to
Shakspeare's. 8rst.ois.st,
Gov. BRAsILETTE thinks enlisting blacks
makes the nation coloru up.
The title of Car is acorruption of Caesar.
Itwas first used as title by Ivan III, of
Russia, about the year 1879. ,..'.i
"BUBBY, why don't you go home and
have your mother sew up the hole In your
s
folks are at sewing circle, working for the
heathen."
The New York BARRIERS have raised their
prices about 80 per cent. Prentice says he
Isl glad of it, for II will tend to make boards
more generally worn, as nature intended
they should be. tlg
Al The cartoon In the last received Punch is
called sour Danish Difficulty" and repre-
sents perplexed John Bull In a chair read
ing newspaper. The Princess of Prussia,
on one side, says: 20! Mr.. Bull, / do so
wish you would speak to my papa-in-law !"
The Princess of Wales, on the other, ex-
claims: "And, Mr.. Bull, do, please, speak
to my papaw lo1a. 1r
A MOTHERS love! how sweet the name!
What Is mothers love? l.t.tif 7
The noblest, purest, tenderest flame
That kndles from above,
Within. . heart Of earthly mould:
Asmpch Of heaven as heaven can hold.
Nor through eternity grow cold;
:. This Is mothers love.
GEORGE THOMPSON. the English Aboli-
ZIONIST, in a speech delivered in Boston on
the 10th, pronounced "Abraham Lincoln
TO be the founder of American liberty
Truei American liberty was found-dead
under his Administration.-Albdny Argus. I
ARTEMAs WARD fought the Indians near
the Great Salt Lake with remarkable brave
ry but was captured by Overwhelming num-
bers. IL Artemas had only thought to ut
ter some of his jokes to the sayages, he
would have made them laugh themselves
into convulsions, and then he could have
killed the whole Of them.
THEY talk of using the steamship Great
Eastern in laying the Atlantic cable, which
will weigh six thousand tons. We would
rs soon think of planting bits of wire under
water In the hope that they would grow
like oysters, as expect success In planting
the great magnetic coil from the decks of
vessel whichhes been unfortunate from her
cradle on the stocks to all her stockholders.
SOME of the papers say that sthe Army
Of the Potomac is moving Perhaps it Is,
says Prentice, but we are as incredulous
upon the subject as Gallilleo's prosecutors
were In regard to the movement of the
earth. N gsl ss
PENNSYLVANIA boasts of resting on, a
foundation Of oil That mustbe the reason
why her politicians are SO slippery.
The Paris Chniuari publishes a caricature
representing a huge ca,tdron placed on. a
blazing fire, and entitled the 'sGermanic
Confederation Austria and Prussia are
sitting on the lid and trying with all their |
force to keepit down, but il already has
risen on one side, and a number of small
psfsonages are seen below heaving It grad
hally up.
UroN the trialof suit Of divorce, one Of
the witnesses was asked whether he had
spokcnto any Of the jury since the suit
commenced. ~ y wiaa-