The Weekly Perrysburg journal. [volume] (Perrysburg, O. [Ohio]) 1861-1???, 1864-01-20
How Dad Acted IIoss.


How Dad Acted IIoss.
"What killed poor old Ticky-Tail, Sut ?"
said an axious inquirer.
Why, nuthin you tnrual fool he list
died-died standm up, at that Waru't
that good pluck ? Frozen stiff no, not
that, od1actly. but starved tust, aud then
froze afterwards 50 stitl, that when dad
aud mo pushed him over, he just stuck out
so, (sprcading his arms aud legs), like
carpenters bench, aud we waited seven.
teen days for him 10 thaw afore we could
skin him Well, thar wo wasdad an mo,
Counting his iingcrs), Dad an mo, Sal an
Jake, fool Jake, we used TO call him for
shorO, an Phinoas. an Simon, an Jonas,
an Charlotocan, an Callinc Jane. an Cashus
lIcury Clay, and Noah Dan Webster, an
me an the twin gals, an Catherine second.
an Clcupatry Anthony, an Jane Lind, am
Tom Bullion, an the baby, an the prospect
an marin herself all left without amy hos,
to crap with. That was nico mess for
'spectihlc family to be slashin' about in.
warn't it2 be darncd if didn't feel like
stealin' u hoss sometimes. Well, We wait
ed an rested, an waited until wcll into
strawberry time hopin' some stray hosS
mout come along, but dog my cats if euy
sich luck rs that over comes whar dad is,
he's 80 drafted mean, an lazy, an ugly, an
savage, an tritlin'.
"Wcll, one mite, dad he lay awake all mite
snortln' an u rolliu an whispcrin at
marin, an next mornin' seq he" Sut, I'll
tell you what we'll do: I'll be hoss myself
an pull tho plow, while you drive me, an
we'll break up corn ground, and then the
old quilt CHATS marm) an the brats kin
plant it or let it alone, jist as they please
/" So out we goes to the pawpaw thickct
and pcaled right smart chance of bark,
and marin and me made gears for dad, an
they become him nightly. Then we would
have bride; SO | gifts an old umbrella
what fouud-it's a little forked piece of
iron, sortcr like unto & pitohfork, you know
an we bent an twisted it sortcr into u
bride bit, small shape. Dad wanted it
kurh, as he said he hadn't worked for some
time, an might sortcr feel his oats and go
to cavortin) Well when we got the hri-
dle all fixed on dad, he chompcd the bit list
like rale hoss. Tie always was most
complicated burned fool anyhow, and marin
always said so when he warnt about)
Then put on the gears, an ont dad an me
goes to the field, a leading dad by the
bride, an totn' the gopher plow on my
back. When we come to the fence, let
IL
to Jump the fence on all iours, hoss way.
| hitchcd him on to tho gopher and away
we went dad lcanin' forward to his pulm'
right peart, an we made sharp plowin' dad
goin right ovor tho bushes and sprouts,
same rs rale hoss, tho only difference is he
went on two legs.
" Presently we cum to n sassalrao patch,
and dad, to keep his character as a hoss,
l,nl, rnI inf Al,
nets nest nigh on to as big II a hoss's head,
and all tho tribe kivcrcd hin rite straight.
lie rared and kicked once or twice and
fotched squall wuss nor any hoss in the
district, and sot into runnin' away, Just as
natural as ever you seed. | let so the lines
and hollered, "Woa, dad woa" but you
mout as we'll have said "Woa" to loco
motive. Ge-whillikcns how he run! When
he cum to a bush, he'd clear the top of it.,
gopher an all p'raps he thort there mout
be another settlement of bald hornets in it,
and that it was safer to go ovor than
through, and quicker done. Every now an
then he'd paw one side Of his head with
fust one forclcg and then tother, an' then
he'd gin himself an opcn-handcd slap, that
sounded like wagon whip, and runnin' all
the time, and karrien that gopher just about
as fast and high from the yearth rs ever a
gopher was carried swar. When he cum
to the fence, he busted rite through it,
tearin' down nigh unto seven panels, scat
term and brcalin' tho rales nightly, and
here hc left the gopher, gears, single-trce
and kcvis, all mixed up an not worth u
durn. Most of his shirt stuck on to the
splintcred end of broken rale, and nigh
onto pint of hornets staid with the shirt,
Il stipgin''it all over the balance on them,
about Il gallon an half, kept on with dad.
He seemed to run iist adZactly as fast as a
hornet could fly, for it war the tightest race
| ever did see. Down through the grass
they all went, the hornets making it look
sortcr like smoke all around dads bald
head, and he with nuthin' on but tho hridle
and nigh onto yard Of plow line a sailin'
behind him.
6" seed now that he was aimin' for the
swimmin' hole, in the creek, whar the bluff
is over twenty-five feet deep. To keep up
his karacter as hoss, when he got 10 the
bluff he iist leaped OIL or rather .iist kept
on runnin'. Kerspunge into the creek lie
went; | seed the water fly plum above the
bluff from whar was. Now, right thar
boys, he ovordid the thing, if that war what
he was artor. for there's nary hoss ever
folded burned fool enough to leap over sich
place "a cursed mule might have done
it, but dad warn't actin mule. krcpt up
to tho edge and looked over. There was
old dads bald head, for all the world like
a peeled onion, a bohhin' up and down, and
the hornets sailin and circlin' round turkey
bu2zard fashion, and every once in a while,
one, and sometimes ten, 'ud make a dip at
dads head. He kept up right peart
dodging under, sometimes they'd hit him.
and sometimes they'd hit tho water and the
water was kiverod with drowned hornets.
What on the yearth are your dom thar
dad ?" says l.
Don't (dip) you sec them internal var,
mints dip after me p
What" scz I, " them are hoss.nies thar !;
ye aint really afeard OF them, are ye!'
+" Iioss-iles, HI" se6 dad, they're
rale dip genuine hornets, YOU dip infer
nal cuss :"
"Well, dad" you'll have 20 stay thar till
rite, an arter they go 10 rooSt, you come
home and III feed ye = and KNOWN dads
unmodliied natur, ! broke from them parts
and sorter kun to the copper mines. |
staid hid out until the next afternoon, when
seed feler tlavelm', and se2
"What was goin' on at the cabin this
side Of the creek when you passed 1t p
why, uuthin' much ouly man WAS
sottin' in tho door with nary shirt on, and a
woman was greasih' hiS back aud arms, and
his head was about as big ay a ten gallon
Log and he hadn't the first Sign Of an eye,
all smoth."
That hian is my dad So I,
Rim n,n,h Gtu' in tbi. t,a,rh H., hool