The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1864-09-09

at work, nay, perspiring o,piousy III will even
carry this delusion out 50 far as % wake up ator
an hour and balrs uap aud feel latigued; 80
much 30, rs 10 be compelled TO adjourn 70 the
nearest public house and recruit exhausted ma
ture with half pint for he Is also The victim OF
half pint, or rather the victim Of pint and
half, not 10 say two g1lonsi aud on those days
when not an interval of labor, not the screwiug
out OF an old nail from a rusty hinge, has occur
red to vary the tedious monotony OF slumber, he
will dcclaim In the taprOOm on the wrongs of the
working man. and the 3, rauuy Of employers. It
has been faid by popular novelist Of the day
that no set Of men can idle as nautical men can
From this observation 70 is evident that the ser
wants Of theatre have never passed under that
popular uOvClkts eye.
The ,tago carpenter works but once a year
for the production OF the pantomime, and then
he works coH dmoyC for during the run Of the
pantOmme the genius Of stagC-carpenter is pro-
perly estimated and authors, actors, composers,
musicians and such mere dlcrs sink into their
proper insRuiiicance.
The property man 20, the man who looks
! afCr the chairs and tables and things movable by
| hand, aud who manufactures the sheep, tsh,
! carrots, and huge chambCr-candlcsticks used in
| the pantumimc-is mysterious mechanic whose
/ habits are unClean, predatory, and mendaciOus.
/ His complexion is a singular compound of the
/ perspratiOn Of the Midsummer before last with
| the dust Of the preceding Christmas. Dustrests
! upon his Cyeashes as moss rests on the boughs
/ of an old tree.
fever he wash himscll--which Is doubtful, save
| on his wedding day-his ablutions are made in
! lean against wall, portions OF his garments
would adhere 10 it when he summoned up sut-
! hcicnt energy to walk away. Why does this
/ gifted gcttcr-up Of gnOmes, sQlamunders, dragons
heads, and faries wings abiurc cold water, and
| ignore all crystal streams save the pantOmime
! fountains framed Of wire, blue gauZc, white
! Dutch metal, and spanglcs Would his fingers
| lose their cunning If occasionally polluted by the
use Of soap bis tongue It's power of ready excuse,
or his brain its inventive faculty, if duid touched
| his external man
! The cause of this dramatlco-mechanico hydro
! phob!a is incNpl!cable, and ever must remain
! mystery to De solved only by a trclcherOus mem
ber Of the craft, who converted 20 cleanliness by
| Turkish bath, shall renounce the property
| room and diyulge its secrets
The property man has the same popularity as
! the Oldest inhabitant; he never remembers any
| thing, nor will he, no matter how familiar the
! object, confess that he has ever seen a specimen,
| or that il is procurabc, save by the expense Of
| large quantities Of money, time, difficulty and
| danger.
"Grmesm calls the stage-manager.
Grimes is very often absent not in mind, but
! in body; but an active call-bOy, knowing Grimes
| haunts, fetChes him from the tap, where he has
been rendering himself more adhesive with half
| a pint Of trcacly beer
"Grimes,' says the stage-manager very au-
thor'tati,ely IL he be ignorant Of his calling, but
| rather kindly If he have some perception OF 1t.
ayes, sir !" answers Grimes, with rcspec! and
! Difference; for It is part Of the property -man's
| instincts to be too deferential and respectful
I'VE shall use the red furniture tor this farce"
! eyes, sir"
"Tabies, cbnirs, sofa, and all that you know.
And then there's breakfast things, and-lnd
that's all. No-by the-way, there's cat wanted"
"a what sir 2"
"a cat
"A cat, sirl" echoes Grimes, as if the word
| were strange 10 him as unicorn, phWniN, or
| ichthyOsaurus.
ayes. should be a tortoiseshel.
| ''Taught US who, SIR =
| ayes toItOisCshcll cat, say
| Tbp pf
| into the empty pit inhabited by the dust, orange
| peel MICE and tleas. After pause he looks into
| the face Of the stage manager, and says
Where a.n j ] to get one sir :"
| GA cat sir"
| "a cat Anywhere
| "Anywhcre, sir Z"
Repetition is one Of the principal weapons in
| the Grimes armOry.
"Yes, anywhere says the stage-manager.
| Goats are plenty, are they HOt?
| "Thcy may ha' been sir, some years ago but
| hardly never seen one lately" is the reply.
But the limit Of our space is near, and there
| are many other specimens which must be left
| undescribed. There is the costumier, who is
! sort of Cross-legged mixture Of milliner and ma
/ gician, and who thiuks that the north star would
shine the brighter if thicky spangled. There is
! the Call-bOy, clever imp of mischief, who recog
nizcs no aristocracy but that of talent and no
talent but that of the actor There are the wig
! makcrs-hold the mere English word requires
an apology, if tailors are costumers, wig-makers
must be perruqucrs, who weave dead mems
hair into false scalps, and brush out cataracts of
blonde ringlCts without thought of the beauty
of the soil on which they grew. The rank grass
hat grows in churchyards has been called "the
uncut hair OF graves Does no sexton assoca-
| ion occur to the Wig-maker as he platts and
weaves, and oils, and curls the terribly human
looking silk 1t is TO he supposed not. Custom
hath made 1t in him property of greasness.
Then there is the gasman, who, though his
trade be odorous, manages TO keep clean face
and hands. He runs about the theatre, nimbly
correcting CrOss-graned taps and bursting bat
wings with his plant pincers. Then there is the
hall porter who is invariably old, is an Irishmans
and has served in the Peninsula, IN Irish regi-
ment, and fought at Waterloo; and whose jaw,
have grim rigdty, redoent OF barrack- life
whose speech is stiff ciyility, redolent of dis
| cipiine; and whose grey, ratlke whskers and few
teeth are periumed with whisky.
There is the gentemen's dresser, who has also
been n soldier, who informs the actors that when
| he was in the marines "he were OFF Gold Coast in
the DeraStat0r, and they had no shoes on them
sir, az Captain Dawbarn, as was the captain,
, was an awful severe man, and drunk-oh, how
he did drink He says to us one day on parade,
You Marines he says, IN work you down to
ile,' and he nearly did, and he would have been
broke only he died OIL SumaJra, thank goodness
, | for if ever there was beast he was" rime
! works wonders, and the warrior mariner has
70 | tanned down into dramatic valet, and hooks anj
eyes doublets, pulls of yellow boots as detty as
: he used to polish bayonets and pipeclay belts.
The ladies' dresser has usually seen better
| uults anu Is VI AuC same hNCtllCs rusty, IHubLy
| type as the pew-opener at a church, with, per.
E | hapS, spiinl,liDg more dust She is invariably
4 | a widow, aud her late husband was either thC
: greatest wretch on record, or the most perfect o
| his gay, periidiOus sex.
Last of all, there is the supernumeary-a
. dreadful trade, strange t1 say, pursued only by
Il men and boys with thin legs. muscular
|, ! supernumcrary is a phenomenon that has never
= been known TO occur, even in the memory OF the
Oldest, most experienced, and stupidest Of stage
IA managers
. There are many other types of theatrical char
y acter besides the few that have been cndeavOreC
q TO be portrayed in these pages, enough, with tue
N | permission Of the public and the publishers 4
A make another series. To The outer world thcatri
= cal lie is deep, dark we'll whose troubled water
il are much feared and little understo ID; but trut
"a lived in u well, and Il large amount Of truth ant
=, goodness dwels in the thcItrc; and few loolIin
n at the green ffOth OF vanity that stlgnates on il
/ surface, would guess the richness of the pearl
!, J that lie bCnCalh.-LoHdOp Illustrated Times.
= Mosquito and fly Bttrs.
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