The Union. [volume] (Georgetown, Del.) 1863-1866, 1864-09-02

Dck has N, lid ,wn there on the uppet
Bsandywine-makes the best cornmeal IN
market and has the widest range of cuit1.n
f any M Her in four Delaware "IIlnd els"
The other m rning Sam Shthers slam
banged into Dicks mill after hundred If
meal, and put il to Dick this way -
"MIrnin' Dek. Whats meal ?"
'..Meal-as usual, SAM"
';Shil mean linw is III"
..P,rtty well, thank ysu. Always is.''
Blast it man-wAat do you charge for
tn
~Dmlrohargs.at all, Sam Have to sell
fer cash these THUGS"
''oh thunderl How does it 60 ?"
In barrels, bags. pillow-cases--sometimea
m tin pans"
"confyund it ALL How can YOU af,rd
IL"
Il can't in realty Butt have to sell it as
low as they d. down to the village"
"Lishtnin' Can't YOU understand Eng
lish?"
Not your way Of speaking it."
"Well, I'll he cussed. Here's FIVE dol
lar note. VIII that BUY h-u-n-d-r-e-d?'
"A hundred what, Sam ?"
Gosh Almighty Can't make the man
understand me. Mr.. Davenant-I want to
buy a hundred weight of corn meal. Hoy
much will it beS" -.
Just a hundred weight, of course:
Look here, Dick-take this FIVE and give
me Some meal for it."
Certainly, Mr.. SIathers. Here is dol
lar change and now Iliweighyou out hun
dred pounds of meal"
SATISFIED WITH THE TERMs.--A certain
good-natured old Vermont fariSer preserved
his constant good nature, let what would turn
up. One day, while the black tongue pre-
vailed in that State, one0f his men came in,
bringing the news that one of his red oxen
was dead. us he?" said the oil man ''well
he always was breechy cuss. xake his hide
off and carry it down to Fletchefss it will
bring the cash" An hour or SO afterward
the man came back with the news that cline
back" and his mate were both dead. Are
tneS =. eulu INC oiu man Nehf NuVh ehOih
of B. to save a bodsssebt that neyersex-
pscted to ees. ItislEeSy thaf It amt re
brindles. Take the hides down 70 FI6tJG5T 5:
they viii bring the cash" After the lapse
of another hour, the man came back to tell
him that the nigh brinde was dead. as he?"
said the old man; twell, he was a very old
OK. Take off his hide and Send it down to
it is worth cash, and will bring
more than two of the others" lIereup0n his
wife, who was very pious soul, taking upon
herself the office of Eliyahz, reminded her
husband very severely, and asked him if lie
was not aware that his ,ss was the Judgment
# Heaven for his wickedncss. rs IL ?" said
he old fellow; ,eH, if they N,cW iahs dhs
Judgment il cattle, il Is he easiest ,c,,y Tcsa
,dy IT,"
\ DOWN EAST" paper publishes the I'll
owing advertisement, It is decided hit at
, very unmannorly aud vulgS prac,icc:-
me hundred ami sevehty-ive y. ung
men, of all .shapes and sizes, from the tall,
graceful tlTIriy, ritlslInii enough on his up
DER works to stuff IL barber's cushion, down
o the little humpbackel, freckled face bow
cgged, carrot-headel upstart. The object is
o form a gaping corps, to he in attendance
It the church door on each Sabbath, before
he commencement of divine service, to stare
It the females as they enter, and make in
Ieicate and ungentlema, ly remarks on their
, .rson and dress. All who wish to enlist in
he abovc corps will appear at the various
hurch doors next Sabbath, where they viii
,e duly Inspected, and their names, personal
appearance and quastity Of brains registered
n book kept for that purpose and pqI l.shed
II the newspapers. To prevent general
ush, it will be we'll to state that none will be
Unlisted who possess Intellectual capacities
bore that of donkey.
A WoMAN's WANT.-Last winter in GER
ain town out West, there were Eeldwhat are
allied Mite Societies" f.r the benefit Of the
oor One lady was distributing food and
Their necessities to the needy. Among others
he went to a Mrs. y, whose family was
aid to be starving. She found them without
efficient clothing, without fuel, and not
lorsel of food in the house.
swell, Mrs. y, what do you need
lost? what would you like to have?" in
uired the lady. Mrs. Y meditated Sc
ously moment, and thea her face bright-
ned, and she excaimed:-
"Well, always did want a head-dress;
iey' re so becomingP'
To DESTROY Aies, get four-horse-pover
ngine, put it in the kitchen, run shaftlng in
very room, connected with the engine atore-
lid by betting. On the shafting place fly
heels, smear the wheels with molasses, and
It the engine going. TheHies being attract
by the molasses on the fy-wheels, will
yht on them, and the wheels receiving rap
ly, they will be wheeled of. Have boy V-
ldsr each wheel with a.bat, and let him
Mite them as they fall, and before they have
me to recover from their dizziness. smat
" has been known to Kill a. many as lily