The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1864-05-05
$500 PER ANNUNI I'm ADVANCE.
KENOSHA. WISCONSIN, THURSDAY, MAY, 1864

y
(which if he is, I'll haste him." observ-
ed Lucy, taking up hearth brush, and look
ing more formidable than | should ever have
given her credit for.
had never believed any of those stories
about Mrs. Brown complete subjugation of
her husband, until then. He was once SER
geant-major in the army, and stands six feet
three in his stocking feet; still the power Of
woman's eye is, | believe almost incon-
ceivable-a although it was never necessary
for me to use it with Miyins. i.'-
| WE'LL they came-those two-to Vande-
| leur Terrace; and before we sat down to tea,
what do you think ?-I observed that there
was something odd about Mrs Browns
dress, although crinoline does hide most
/ things-she actually-had that hearth brush
stuck through her pocket. The law would
not right her, she said, so she was determ-
ined to right herself with the strong hand,
in case my lodger was the man anticipated.
| The sergeant major was to stand in the pas
sage and see that he made no resistance
| thought this most dreadful proposition,
and INSISTED upon no such thing taking place
my house but Mivins, am sorry to say,
opposed me point blank He even suggest
led that |, who had been wronged by this
gentleman, should assist Mrs. Brown, while
he himself assisted the sergeant-major in
overawing the foe. | wonder what Aunt
Bertha would have said had she heard him
make such proposal. How earnestly |
hoped that our ledger would not come in
that evening-wouId never come back at
all or, better still, that he would turn out
| to be the Mr.. Adolphus Conroy, which his
manners and appearance had always led me
to suspect-the personal description which
Mrs. Brown had given of Mr. Somers, tally
ing so accurately with his own, however,
that this last hope was very faint in
deed.
at 6:45, as usual the unsuspecting man
came home, and we could scarcely prevent
the avenging female on the first floor
| from descending upon him forthwith, when
she recognized his voice and step. The ser
| geant-major however, represented to her
how much sweeter her revenge would be if
she waited till he had his slippers on, and
his pipe alight, and he had made himself, as
he fondly imagined, comfortable for the
evening; SO poor MIR. Adolphus Conroy din
ed in peace. At P. NJ, the sergeant-ma-
jor and my husband softly descended into
the passage, aud stood the one on one side,
the other on the other of our Spare Room
door remained on the stairs, with my
heart going pit-a-pat, | can promise you,
and wishing what was coming was well
over The intrepid Lucy stopped down. and
looked through the key hole,
''It's Somers," observed She in a voice
trembling with anticipated triumph; its
the very man himself. He's got his horrid
feet upon the mantle shelf, just as he used
to do in our house; and he's reading the
same volume of Byrons poems. I'll Dom
| Juan him"
With these words, she threw open the
| door, and marched into our Spare Room like
general taking possession
'tAnd how do you DO Mr. Some"s, atlas
Mr. Adolphus Conroy, alias a number of
other fine names do not doubt? My UNI
bic duty to you, my perfect gentleman"
And she dropped her courtesy to him with
the most cutting courtesy you can imagine.
could not help coming little way down
the stairs to look at him. l never saw any
man SO frightened in my life. Mivins, UNI
der the IDEA Of burglars, was quite Julius
Caesar, compared with him. His eye wan
dered irresolutely from the hearth-brush to
the sergeant-major, and lit upon me at last,
with really quite pitiful expression.
''Oh, Mrs. Mivins, never meant yoU any
harm. DO, pray, protect me"
''Oh, no harm at all" exclaimed my hus-
band, presenting our little account, carefully
made up to the latest dates-''n harm at all,
if you will settle that"
''And this" added Mrs Brown, dropping
another courtesy, and drawing forth doc
ument of similar nature
Il have not got one single farthing| OBJ
served Mr.. AdoIphus Conroy, with despera-
ton.
| draw veil over what followed indeed
| was so upset that | became entirely uncon-
scious When | recovered, the sentinels
were still at their post; Mrs. Browns color
was rather heightened hearth brush
was broken in two-my unfortunate ledger
was sitting on the carpet of our Spare Room
in supplicatory attitude.
eff you will only spare me my dear Mrs.
Brown" cried he; 81 have an uncle in town,
who will repay you all, and more. ;"
II dare say you have" replied she, con
temptuousIy ''You have one i'll every
street.
Yes but this is regular one, this is, D
urged he; land he's very fond of his neph-
ew, do assure you"
'FThen hemust have very peculiar taste, y
1uoth the major, sententiously
''He will pay you all, ten times over, .
cried the poor wretch, rubbing his back
Il don't ask you to lose sight OF me. Come
with me to his house, Mrs. Brown, if you
will not trust me-"
'FTiuG YOU" exclaimed that lady, with
the loftiest scorn.
Nevertheless since there was offered this
scintilla of hope, she put on her bonnet, and
accompanied her victim into the street, not
withstanding the sergeant majors remon-
strances In about five minutes, she return
ed alone; Mr.. Sorners, alias Conroy, had
called cab in the next street, and escaped
from the avenger. 15 a
"FIe got On he boz" said she, ''or would
have gone with him wherever he went =
| However, he's had something to remember
me by at least
When we came to examine the bulky and
ponderous baggage, it turned out to be brick
bats. All that he had left of personal prop
erty in our Spare Room he having taken
away all his fine clothes by degrees. and
| unobseryed-wa a false cravat, called, /
believe "Dundreary," and little box full
of ingenious instruments for forcing locks.
| The misfortune has put us rather out OF
heart in respect to single gentlemen dodgers.
Can any one tell us what is to be done
with our Spare Room? la o. 2
--.s-.------ chi. !.
! a Card from Ben. Butier. .
BALTIMORE, 24-The american having
copied from the N. Y. World what was rep
resented to be an extract from letter from
General Butler. threatening to resign on
account Of the appointment Of Gen. Smith
to the command Of the Army of the Pc.
ninsua, mas had the following dispatch from
General Butler
FORTRESS MONROE, April %, 1864
To the Editor Of the Baltimore Americans
My attention is called to an article in YOU
paper headed ga Protest from Gen. Butler
which supposes that have written the silly
y,,7.ro GRO Nh therain contained T have WRITER