The Lancaster gazette. [volume] (Lancaster, Ohio) 1863-1886, 1864-01-28
I TERMS or AnvERrlelNa
A DITFERrNcB IN mars.

Some ten or twelve years ago, when
this old hat was new, John--+----.sa
young candidate for public patronage,
presented himself before the people Of
a Western city, "a the character Of A
magician, aud issued flaming hand
bills representing the wonderful feats
that would be performed on a certain
evening at the Town Hall. He had
been raised in the city, and, being
known as possessed Of considerable
genius great curiosity was felt TO wit
ness bis detut, On the evening ofthe
performance, the hall in which. It took
place was crowded to excess by the
Younger portion Of the community,
who are generally foremost in patro-
nizing such exhibitions Among the
audience was an egotistical character,
by the name of Jim L., who was
always making himself conspicuous at
such places, whenever there was an
opportunity. Jim was familiarly ac-
quainted with the young magician
and naturally felt a disposition to test
his merits as an artist.
After the usual preliminaries, the
curtain rose and the performance COM
mencedss The first feat was that ofthe
magic ring then followed several 9TH
ers common to such exhibitions, which
were very respectfully performcd-all
things considered-and ELECTED con-
siderable applause Finally John step
ped to the front OF the stage and re-
quested that some gentleman would
lend him hat, promising to return it
in as good condition as he received it.
A hat was handed him, which he took
to his table, upon which was a sort of
stew par. and plate containing eggs.
Placing the hat in a stew pan, he pro
ceeaed,. deliberately, to break three or
fournggs in 1t, and then set fire to the
fluid under it, After waiting a few
minutes, he turned the hat upside
down over the plate, and, behold, out
dropped well cooked 'omelet, which
was handed round among the audience
amid loud applause. John brushed
the hat nicely, and handed it back to
the owner, 'as good as new Just as
he was about to retire, Jim spoke up
and said, "John, you can't do that with
my hat" John hesita.ed a moment
and replied, "If you wish / will try
it." Jim handed up his hat, and John
proceeded in the same way as with
the other-sctting it in the stew pan,
aud breaking FIVE or six eggs in it,
After setting FIRE to the fluid, and wait.
| ing, as before, a reasonable time for
the eggs TO cook, he at last turned
over the hat, when theeggs came drip
ping out, more like thin custard than
an 'omelet John with the hat in his
hand, walked to the front of the stage,
when it was discovered that in addi-
tion to the dripping eggs, the top was
nearly burned out The audience set
up shout that could have been heard
all over the city. which continued for
half an hour. Finally, the uproar
Stacked little, when John said, "Jim,
give it up; / can't do it with your
hat The audience gave another
shout, such as was never heard before.
Far half an hour, John tried every
means to quiet the assembly, that he
might carry out the programme and
finish the performance; but there was
no such thing,as quieting them. So,
finding it impossible, he at last dismis-
sed them, by saying:
794adies and gentlemen, the perfor-
mances for this evening are concluded.
On Tomorrow evening will give an
other exhibition. when, if Jim desires
it, l will try again to cook an 'ome-
let in his hal"
Jim went home bare headed, swear
ing that he would see John to the deuce
before he would furnish any more hats
for such 'bungling work.
i Turns, like roses, have thorns about
them.
GREAT opportunities are generally
the result OF the improvement Of small
ones.
| A LITTLE explained, a little endur-
cd, little passed over as a foible, and,
10! theruggcd atoms swill fit like smooth
mosaics.
THE sympathy Of Louis Napoleon
with the South can no longer be doubt
ed, since rebel pirate has been taken
to his JreSt.
I. WHEN men are together they listen
| 70 n..o tr1k ion rst.lu
look at one another. 1es
PERIODICALS are the dead leaves that
fertilizc the soil of literature.
I SOLDIERS Definition of "Picket is
one who goes out to borrow tobacker
from the enemy, and see if the rebels
have got pass
CURIOSITY become vice when Il is
only an itching to- learn what is amiss
with others. -...,..
l A WAC says that if a lawyer starves
in village, he induces another to set
tie there, and both thrive.
If you wish to offer your hand to
lady, choose your opportunity-the
best opportunity is when she is getting
out Of arail-car. :.
| Ev1Lsin the journey of life are like
the hills which alarm the traveller upon
the road thoy both appear great at
distance, but when we approach them
we find them far less than we imagin-
cd. roT8 o.aw as
aCoNsrtrurroNALIY tired, " is the po-