The Jeffersonian Democrat. [volume] (Chardon, Ohio) 1854-1865, 1864-04-01
The Wrongs Of the Stomach.

1t too many have of eating and drinking too
much. 1t may servo to give some Of us a
valuable lesson on the subject -
In most of tho early literaturcs is to be
found dialogue between the Body and the
Soul, in which each accused tho other of
their mutual perdltion. recapitulating tho
offences which havo produced it. Somo.
thing similar might be written with good
effect, dividing tho imaginary conversation
between, lot us say the Stomach and the
Man. making an attack of gout tho subject
OF thoir rccrimination. The Man might ac-
cuse the Stomach of having done its duty
so badly that ho is tormontod with burn.
ing fire in his oxtrcmities, which will neither
let him cat, drink, walk, nor rest. The
Stomach might plead justification, and say
that sho lighted tho said fire as tho only
means of getting moments rest from an
intolerablo taskmaster. Again, tho Man
might complain that ho had lost oil enjoy.
ment of litc, that his spirits were depressed ;
his mind gloomy, his appetite gono, his
once !ino muscular system reduced to flabby
Incidence; that his food did him more
harm than good, so that 1t had become a
misery to eat, and that every meal was fol-
lowed by eadon oppression which rem.
dered llfc an insupportable burden. Tho
Stomach, having listened to all this, delv-
cred in tone of angry accusation, would
reply:
"My case is just as bad as your own
Before had we'll diges,od your breakf fast,
you gavo me meat luncheon TO 500 to, and
before | had got that out of tho way you
thrust dinner upon mo largo enough for
thrno stomachs. Not satisfied with that,
you wound up tho day with supper,
drcnching me all tho time with ale, wine.
spirits, tea, coffee, rum, more vino, and
more spirits, and thought you had taken
leave of your senses and when | hoard
you groaning in your sleep, starting up
every now and then as if apoplcxy had
broken into the house and was going to car
ry you off, said to mvsof, Servo him
right if it did,. And in this way you went
on, year aftor year, treating all my remon.
strances with contempt. gavo you head
ache after heada che tried to recall you
to reason with half "A dczen attacks of in
huepza gave you a bilious fever made
you smart with rheumatism twingcd you
with gout till you roared But all to no
purpose. You wont on making me digest
till tho work broke my back, and now can
digest no longer"
This roproach might bo mado even pa.
thctic, by description of tho Stomach
watching its hard task como down to il
from tho regions above between dinner and
bedtime. First comes plate of soup and
bread, and glass of shorty. Il can man.
ago that" says tho Stomach. Thon plate
OF fish, with moro bread and moro shorty.
"And that" adds tho Stomach, "tbough
those sauces don't quite agroe with me-
Then comes beef or mutton, or both, and
stout; then gamo and sherry then dish
of tart. "Coufound this pastry" says tho
Stomach ait gives moro trouble than any,
thing else; but if the matter will only stop
here, think if put out all my powers,
can oven got this rubbish out of the way"
But she has hardly taken this hopeful
Wow of the case, when down como choose
celery, apples, oranges, nuts, figs, almonds
and raisins, port, sherry, claret. and tum.
bier of hot Holland. d.and.water. Good gra.
cious was thore ever such q mess p OK.
claims the Stomach. "What can tho Man
mean Does bo think one pair of hands
can manage all this :"
Still the willing slave goes to work, whom
presently there is rush of hot toa from
above, with thin slice of bread and butter
Aud when the Stomach, with iuinito labor
has got tho hodge-podgo into some sort Of
homogeneous shape, and is preparing ia
take nap attor her exhaustion, 10 ! o
deviled drumstick rushos into its laboratory
two deviled kidnevs, bottle of stout, aud
three of hot brandy and water!