The Union. [volume] (Georgetown, Del.) 1863-1866, 1864-01-15


How Tow LOST THE SHEEr,-An old far
mer in Tennessee, sent his son Tom to Menu
phis with flock of sheep to sell. Tom sold
the sheep and got the money, but falling IN
company with some "sports," who had the
presence of mind to hold better hands than
he did, he was "cleaned out" Tom went
home, but avoided the cid man. He told his
mother. however, Of what had befallcn hln,
and she took the news, as gently as she COULD
| to the master Of the manor and Of the sheep
pasture. The old man raved, and Tom very
| iudiciously continued to keep out Of his way.
one day the farmer had friend to dinner,
aud .xanae sspirituous paiatians bA-as ,as.s
daccd, they became quite merry. This was
Toms opportunity. He rushed into the
room holding four "kings" in his hand, aud
exciaimed
Father, would you bet anything on such
hand as that ?"
Bet? Guess would. I'd bet every cent
h4d"
"Well," said Tom, with sigh. chats
what became Of the sheep. The other felier
he'd four aeos Y
The CID man was speechless.
Mr.. LINcoLS's JoKE.-A characteristic
story of the President is narrated in letter
from Washington. When the telegraph from
Cumberland Gap reached Lincoln that firing
was heard in the direction of Knoxville" he
remarked that he was "glad of it," Some
person present who had the perils Of Burn
sides position uppormost in his mind, could
not see why Mr.. Lincoln should "glad Of it,"
and SO expressed himself "Why, you Sec"
responded tho President, "It reminds mo Of
Mrs. Sallie Ward a neighbor of mine, who
had large family. Occasionally one of her
numerous progeny would be heard crying in
some out-ol-the-way place, upon which Mrs.
Sallo would exclaim, There's one of my shil-
drsn that isi,'t dead yst."
CHEAr ExEMPrIoN.-The Toledo CONNER
cial relates the following:
An honest Hibernian was observed, few
days since, intently engaged in examining
very closely one of the draft lists, now posted
throughout the city. At length he discover
ed his own name. He gazed at it rather am
biguously for moment, and, leisurely in
sertng his hand into a capacious pocket and
drawing thereirom black lead pencil, very
coolly and efectually erased his name from
the list. As he returned the pencil to his
pocket, with a satisfactory expression u coun
tenance. he exclaimed
"There now, be dad I've scratched me
name. They can't see it-and they'll not be
afther drafting me at all, at all |"
No TINE FOR CeNUNDRuMs.-Army team
sters are proverbial for the scientific volubil-
ity with which they swear. A tsamster with
the Cumberland army, he not long age, got
stuck in the mud, and let Ay stream Of pro-
fame epithets that would have astonished ''our
army in Flanders" even. A chaplain passing
at the time was greatly shocked.
"My friend" said he to the teamster, do
YOU know who died for sinners"
ON your conumdrums. Don't you see
I'm stuck in tbs mud ?"
A GOOD story is told of a member of the
S4th Indiana. His Colonel observing him
one morning vending his way to camp with
fine Rebel rooster in his arms, halted him
+ to know if he had been stealing chickens
''lyo Colsnel," was the reply, II just saw
this old fellow sitting on fence, and or
dered him to crow for the Union, and he
wouldn't do it, 80 confseated him for Q
rebel"
A Dutchman's heart-reuding soliloquy is
described thus; "She lofos Shon Mickle so
peter as ], peeause he has cot coople ttlloFs
rnore as hes"