The Burlington weekly hawk-eye. [volume] (Burlington [Iowa]) 1860-1876, 1864-12-24

q ITEAs.-Ha in this market brings So
per ton. ......A party of our German citizens,
while drinking wine ut n wine.cellar on
South Hill, got to discussing politics, when
patriotic sentiment was proposed to
which the most Of them emptied their
glasses; but ono Of them, of Copperhead
proclivities, whose wine still remained I'M
tasted, said something in favor Of the
"Lone Star" At this . .sbrealk" was made
for him, but he purchased his safety BY re-
tracing the offensive Language. 49,. Two
little fellows were Boosting about what
wonderful men their "Pa's" were, when
one said, my pa has been to New York
and seen the ocean, and to Philadelphia,
too" II don't care ii he has," triumph
antly exclaimed the other, 'mine has been
to the Penftentiaryv .....A man carrying
. very heavy load fell while ascending the
long flight Of steps, just south of the Teed-
rick House, and rolled to the bottom, with
more haste than comfort. The s'loadu re-
ferred to was whisky 800. Old Chug says he
likes gritty man mot dirty one,) "but
one that pitches in like frog oph from q
saw-mill, no matter how deep the water
L." THE practice of stealing thermome-
ters from the doors OF business houses and
dwellings, which is INDUCED in nowadays
by somebody, is petty and contemplate.
and a way should be devised to detect the
guilty party or parties. Billings,
speaking Of ''impudense'' says, IN poly
tics it parades itself, and Ais q whole skule
|districk with the anthem ov reform, then
votes itself = pension, and seated among
the heightened shadders OF life, raves agin
|ongrateful republicks." THE White
House is getting shabby, and thirty thou
sand dollars are asked for, to re-furnish it,
......A vicious dog on the South Hill bit q
little boy last week, and was subsequently
shot by the lads father. A law suit is
threatened by the owner Of the dog. 49,. A
firm doing business on Valley street yes.
terday presented Us in cash to the wives
Of each of their employees, about dozen
in number, AZ Christmas present.
IrENs.-While skating Tuesday, lady
fell and badly sprained her ankle. The
child of q citizen drank some petroleum,
and 1t is said the ingenious parents put q
wick in him and burned it out, but we
don't credit the .syarn." .......t digger, why
don't you get married." because, sir,
like my father, 1 intend to spend my days
bachelor Chicago paper calls the
sewing machine the ''woman's fast friend. i"
Unfortunately all of her fas: friends are
not Of that harmless or useful character.
......A snow white squirrel was shot across
the river last weekend. B., in his advice
to young boys, says: "Bi awl meens at
an arly age git into the habit of stain out
lait ct mites. Don't miss circusa; tina ar
means of grace. Call all vartue nousents.
and suspeck awl femails. Watch yure
older brother, and brag on his deviltrees. y
......A fellow in New York has gone crazy
over his good success In business. Here
. man, (Ye Locally that could stand that
test.
ITEMs.-A fellow ut late hour Saturday
evening was working himself into per-
SEPARATION trying to convince IAmp-pOst
on Main street that 'torter give hafer ode,
an not run agin mold zi.izen." Swearing
he wouldn't be "pozed on he let hy blow
at the post and staggered away. Two OF
three days ago man who was hauling hay
to town by way OF the Mt. Pleasant road,
had his face considerably bruised by the
upsetting of the load.......The mechanical
genius of the age has developed nearly
every sort and size Of labor-saving ma.
chine, yet there is still room, in q direc.
ton unexplored, for the exercise Of the in.
ventive faculty. What is needed now is a
steam kitchen-girl, self.acting chamber.
maid, and q cook that can be wound ur
like an eight-day clock and run . week
......An old fellow while trying TO sell a rat
terrier to citizen day or two ago, got of
the following graphic sentence. "'Twud
du yer cole gud to CO him with his har al
erekt, hix tale strate out stiff, every muscle
alive, and the entire dorg only 8 feet from
Q rat hole!' ......A fellow on the levee, whis
kered and whiskied, had his eyes hunf
with drapery for insinuating that he had
Kissed another "fellar's.' sister, who doe.
kitchen work at hotel in town.. An ed
itor in the interior says farmer residips
near his town has laid an egg ON his table
Hope it didn't hurt him much. One 0
the city s'wood butchers while '.fddling'
vt the corner OF Third and Washington
streets last week observed dog stealth,
the contents OF his dinner basket, and with
out giving the animal word Of warning
twirled stick Of wood round his head anG
laid the thief sprawling upon the ground
At that instant an Irish woman came up
/ and proved herself the relative of tbs dol
by hitting Mr.. Wood-sawyer smart blow
/ with her dexter hand and calling him al
sorts of hard names. The Marshal adjust
ed the difficulty finally without reading
the riot act....... Why are widows who wan
husbands like railroads that need repair
ing. Because they are ready for new tie
j A. A o&A