, 1864-01-16

mOltn.
A priest in Ireland having preached q,
sermon on miracles, was asked by one Of
his congregation walking homcward, to ex.
plain little more lucidly what miracle
meant"
"Isita merakle you want to understand 2"
said the priest. walk oh thsf, there,
forhinst me, and think how can explain
it to you."
The man walked on, and the priest came
after him and gave him a tremendous kick.
ugh" roared the sufferer, "why did
you do that?" ,t.
"Did you feel it % asked the priest.
"To be sure | did," replied the man.
"Well, then, it would have been a mira
Gle if you had not" returned the priest:
The term infantry is said to BE- derived
from an event in Spanish history. An In
fanta Of Spain having assembled q body Of
troops, and marched to the aid of her father;
by their aid defeated the Moors; the foot
soldiers were in consequence held in greater
estimation than before, and were distin:
guished by the name Of the person who had
thus led them on to victory.
o, :,
liceman, endeayoring to ralse an intoxicated
individual who had fallen into the gutter.
"Can't say, sir; he can't give an account
Of himself"
"Of course not. How can you expect
an account from man who has lost his bal.
anee Z"
- .Is.r
6ootn, the tragedian' Iad tne misfortune nus:
lady said to him, II like your acting and
beautiful reading, Mr.. Booth, but l cannot
get over your nose" -
No wonder, madam" replied he, "the
bridge is gofe''
AZ. ...,i,;,... M
ed upon a tradesman and solicited his vote.
Il would rather vote for the devil than iof
you" was the reply.
But in case your friend should not come
forward" said the candidate, might I
then count upon your nce!'
Teacher-s How many kinds Of axes are
there 7"
Boy" Broad axe, narrow axe, post axe,
axe Of the Legislature, axe Of the apostles,
and axe my pal"
Teacher" Good! go to the head Of
your CLASS
" Mother. Won mustn't whip me for run. run.
ming away from school any morev'
aWhyf'
" Because INV school bool saws that ants
are tbc most ;ndnstriotis bainvs n the
word; and amt a truart =
.p;aa,, bos ,h.. .,,4,,, ssl,o,v .lc.rad ~
a. 80. -, msS ~ s .,."n,.,.a. 49, % -, ~ -
20 " s;.n
and be CLAIR a of With .,acr;,v lila.
dyW
"No, sirj with shovel"
IT, a.. 49, To..,ia a.. To,n n;t,d;s.
.ha s".a sv Sc. IA - h;,n "Vonnm.,a-,
S.yo S ov rpy s;,S;o;sn. % oonfianc. 4 me- - lend
me a guineat"
80, yes I've all the confidence but
haven't the guinea.
aJhbnn so;d a d6i;ns S5rept IL her
r,,hSr ;nsst;ahis hSv @can va,, oat ms nud.
ding With impunity J"
i don't know, ma" replied the young
hopeful, shut l rather guess can with u
spoon"
( A story i toll Of 4 person asking another
whether he would advise him to lend GER
tam friend Of theirs money
What, lend nlm money! GU might
give him an emenc, ana ne wouldn't return
IT,
Inc Scpoys Of India offered twice the
reward Tor an edltofs nead tnat tney cid
for any other. That was Pardcnabie IN the
ignorant sepoys, but we know OF editorial
"''S' -''A " "'D
Mother, send for the doctor"
"Why, my sons 7"
"Cause that man in the parlOr Is going
. a,e nc sa,a ne Tou,a .;a = slsser ~ SIHs e'S
"O' marry nili' anu 'ane 'A'u 'n' "ou'un y
Beware when tic great God lets loose .
thinker on this planet. Then all things
are at rlsk. uis as when contagration,
has broken out IN q great city, and ny man
KNOWS what Is SAFE or where II VIII end
A philosopher says that Ahutting tho
eyes makes the sense OF hearing more acute.