, 1864-09-02
A Dutchman's Complaint

dinks much about de war und de draft, und de
rebils, und all about desc dings. I dinks about
'em more as about anyding else. Sometimes
sets mits myself all day de front stoop und
schmokes. und drinks hard cider, and does not
ing else only drink; den my wife she gifts me de
tuyful for drinkn so much, und ses l vos peter
90 und see after Jacop, our hired man, und not
bodder my head NIT more as can understand.
ButI tells her what vOmens no aboutwar2 better
she goes und mindts her own pisseness. I drub-
les myself more about Abraham as about Jacop,
Ven gets tired NIT drnkin on my own stoop
I goes down to Hans Butterfoos tavern und
drinks dere, und tells my obinion, und some
oder one tells his opinion, und we makes him
out togedder De odder day begins de draft
Dat bodders me agin. Some goes in for de draft,
mostly dem as is too olt, and Won't be took dem
self; some goes agin de draft; und some don't
know vich way to goes, but ony goes roundt und
roundt, und gets boddered like dam so as l do.
But nefer mind, dinks must find dis ding
out und down goes to Hans Butterfoo's und
hears de felers bio. / don't make notin nit
dat; dey all bios some oder way, und don tdink
dev hef him rite in dere own mindts. So l be-
gins und asks a questchun; und ses to Bill
Puffenshtoek
scVot you dinks Won de draft, dat it is right"
And ses Bill: ''No, dnks ct amt right"
Veil don't believes him, caus he sheated me
yonce NIT plind mare he sells on me. So
dries again and shpeaks NIT Fritz HoekenshpIi-
Ger.
ssFritz, " I ses, 'vot do you dinks vonde draft
eff it's right or not P
And Fritz, he ses, dat he "Dinks it is shust so
as it ought to be-"
But don't believes him neder, cause he run
agin me last year for de peace of shustice, und
dev make him de peace-dat is de shustice. Und
he ish no more good for shquire as my old cat
So 1 gives up askin somebody, and makes him
out myself l dinks in dis shtyle de reason dey
90 NIT de draft, is becos dey want sojers. Eff
dey don't get no sojers den dey can't bring on
de war Eff dey don't bring de war den dey don t
lick de rebils, Eff dey don't licks de rebils, den
de rebils licks dem. Eff de rebis lick dem den
we all go to ter tuyful, OATS pooty straight.
So much
Now | must dink of some more; vot is de next
ting2 | dinks dat's all rite; but now l shtops,
somding else comes doe. Let me sees. Oh,
yes; dry hundred dollars-dat's de ding-dey all
bios about de dry hundred dollars. | dinks so
myself Dry hundred dollars don't lick de reb-
lis no more as dry hundred cents. Vots de goOt
NIT dollars Peter good shmart soldier like
my Shorge, he licks de rebils more as six hun
dred dollars yes. Now l knows more as Bill
Puffenshtoek und Fritz Hookenshplicer, both to-
gedder We want de sojers, not de money
OATS where de bodder is. We putty soon has
money enuff; but paper sojers is only goot nit
wooden guns, so when de draft comes und ven
men ses here is dry hundred dollars, shtays be-
hindt and don't fight de rebils, den if l was de
draft takes dat man by de breeches und says
90 to the tuyful NIT your dollars und come
along nit me like some oder man as has
got no dollars und don't like to go sojerin so
bad as not you do, den pretty soon l gifts so
much as I wants, dat's my idears. tells my
olt woman if dey drafts me goes myself To
be sure don't dink dey will, caus am more as
fifty years; but nefer mind I should go long
while, like my Shorge, ony dere's two dings
Ldon'tlike one is de marshin und de udderis ftin
l soouer marches down to Hans Butterfoos und
fights dere. Eff Shelf Davis comes dere on me