Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1864-02-27
> SIOUX CITY, IOWA. SATURDAY, FEBRUARY a. 1864

in any body's skillington!'
Jacob retreated. There was a grand
flourish Of trumpets from the orchestra
and the dancing began, Jacob led out the
Widow Piggins, and followed, literally, his
wife's directions in al ,hings but keeping
clear Of the crinoline. That was no easy
matter, and poor Jacob had not been three
minutes on the floor before one foot was
entangled in the Hounces Of Mrs. Potiphar
Beanwell, and the other in strip Of car
pet which had been insecurely tackled
down. To preserve the equilibrium, hs
grasped the arm Of the lady, and at the
same moment, a puffy gentleman coming
up actively behind, knocked him over with
his head into the bosom of the horri6ed
Mrs. Beanwell.
"Ob, James! James T. cried she, to her
husband, this horrid man was going to
kiss me and he's been eating onions!'
~ me? kiss you?" cried Jacob, re-.
covering bis foothold, "No, never! by
jinks haint got into such = strait yet
as to kiss q woman With . nose like
yourn!' . ~.
What's that?'' cried Mrs. Peabody
Fastening to the spot-"you . kissing
another woman. Jacob Peabody! where
is she?"
II warn't a kissing Of her! puffed
Jacob, II got my foot hung in some Of
her lace aumery diddles, and Ben Bucker
pushed me over! wouldn'. kiss her for
a quarter! Her face is half au inch thick
with paint!'
Mrs. Beanwell lifted her small hand
and raked down Mr.. Peabody's face-so
that be prese nted very much the appear
ance Of blank book, ruled perpendicular.
ly with red ink.
Order was at last restozed-and refresh.
men.s wee brought in-ices among the
rest. Mrs. Peabody surveyed hers with =
rueful visage.
| John John I" she cried 10 The servant,
| 60 out, and fetch in the slop pail, quick
how on airth came you to bring in sour
milk' Ill give you a walking paper in
the morning; see if dont!'
Here Major Burney good naturedy in
terposed and succeeded in convincing our
| heroine that ice cream was eata BILE though
she was certain it would give her the
stomach ache.
A About this time she discovered the ab.
sence Of Georsiana, and hurried off to
find her. She came upon her most mop.
Fortunately. The young lady was in The
conservatory, with Mr.. Fi,z Herringbone
| Spood.e-who having heard Of the wealth
Of Mr.. Peabody, deemed i. best to secure
the affections Of his daughter.
Mr.. Spoodls was on his knees before
Georey, pouring out his sentiments most
elegantly, when Mrs. Peabody burst in
upon them.
90 The land sake!' exclaimed she, ado
come here, everybody; if here ha'n't
Bony Spoodle saying his prayers 2. and
it's only yesterday that heered him
swearing down town like piru,! He's
conversioned guess, aud glad ain Do
come out into this room, Bony, and tell
US how it happened!"
But Boney declined, and hastily made
his escape into the hall, and from thence
to the street, swearing to himself, and
kicking the curb stone 10 vent his rage.
by this time the guests were waltzing.
Ethelinda swan past in the arms of Gerald
Piggins, the son of the widow. Mrs. Pea.
body turned deeper crimson, If the thing
were possible.
"Good gracious! If there haint Pig.
gins q hugging one of my gals! swan
| to man, that's leetle too much |!
She rushed forward to separate them.
| The effort was too much for the stay lac.
ings-,hey craked--qusered,- hurst-and
the yellow brocade burst likewise, and
Mrs. Peabody, in her original dimensions,
stood before the astonished multitude.
But Mrs. p. WAS too much in earnest 10
stand for trihcs, and Gerald Piggin's hair
came out by handfuls. Widow Piegins
few to the rescue and hand to hand eu.
gagement ensued. The widows false front
was torn off. and Mrs. P.'s corkscrew ring
let's, we're scanter than ever. The pier
glass was broken. a pair Of curtains came
down "by board the ladies screamed,
and tainted, Mr.. Peabody called for the
police, aad in the midst Of the confusion,
the Widow Pigsins seized chair to Aoor
her assailants, and hoorcd. Instead, the
great chandelier and the whole room was
left to darkness and strong smelling gas (!
/ Mrs Peabody ned to her chamhpr-,he
girls fainted-Adolph swore-and Mr.
Peabody jumped out Of a window for a
breath Of fresh sir.
] And the guests escaped, without their
muf1ers. # n"
It was bacl in earnest; but Mrs. Pea.
body has arrived st the conclusion :has
such gatherings are not profitable.