Democrat and sentinel. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1853-1866, 1864-08-10

culminate in revolution, which might re-
suit in their fatal and ignominious cxpul-
sion from Union which they now find
so profitable. At any rate, if not alevi-
atcd or subducd, this distress may, by
the fierce and determined union of the
masses, stop tie ,ror, which would be to
New England stoppage of the slnices
Of the River of Life.
RECOGNIZING these alarming facts, ap-
pretending this distress and the dire dis
content it is breeding, the Yankees have
hit upon most cheap and notable plan to
ditiusc general content among the people,
and to reconcile the poor man to his cold
bones and mouIdy cheese pavings. This
plan we viii now proceed to untold
Every day some new scheme appears in
the Yankee newspapers for making weeds
palatabIe and garbage delicious. Learned
philosophers publish statistical tables,
showing, in the most conclusive manner,
and from actual experiment upon factory
children and their daddies, thatthe cheap
est things are alrmuJy tie most ,c5olesone
ami s2iIcstlJle, and that the health and
happiness Of the laborer are precisely in
discovery, which slumbercd through all
that long and dark period in which the
Democratic party controlled the Govern
ment and kept the Union safe, is enforced
every day by the published lucubrations
Of some fresh philosopher who has discov-
cred the E,ttcning properties Of some new
fragment of ot:al
1t seems that cur people, as lately
rs the Administration OF Ar. Blu
chanan, have been gorging themselves
with deadly poisons in the shape Of beef
steaks. butter, eggs and fowls. These
and other fat dishes with which the Ia
borer used to rc9alc himself, it has been
demonstrated by the New England sagcs,
had tendency to make him bloated and
pinply, to bccloud his brain, disqua!ity
him for work aand heat his blood up TO Il
turbulent and revolutionary point. The
diet which these good men, through their
representatives in Congress, have COM
PEELED him to resort to, although at first
unpaIatabl2, are perhaps 50 at last, has a
tendency to rcpress corpuencc, to thin the
sccrctiUns. to cool the temper, and to III
duce loyal and submissive state Of mind
cmincntly necessary in these times OF high
taxes, quarterly drafts, and daily ki'!nap-
pings Thus, while the body Of the
workman is kept entirely free from any
adipose membranes. the body polite is
at the same time saved from fevers, crup-
tions. and convultions which might rack
it to pieces.
1t would be laughabc, if the facts
which have inspired the Yankees were
not so stern and gloomy, to watch these
miserable shifts to which they have re-
sorted to reconcile people to empty bellies.
Grcely, gorged with Champagne and can
vas-backs at Duimonco's, breaks out after
dinner in Il most touching exposition of
the dangers of eating butter, and the dis
orders that Iurk IN meat, which startles
the readers of the mogTow's II15ane. \
thousand smaller scgibb!crs echo his cry.
One philosopher levels his artillery at cggs,
and another directs 4 murdcrous fire at
poultry. Another Still, at one fell swUop.
lops Vegetables from the list Of things eat
able Our word for Il, that nine out of
ten of these v;lrlcts cat three enormous
meals per diem, to say nothing Of night
s,Ippcrs. and that the dish against which
each man specially directs his eIoquence,
is the very one of which he eats the most.
Having thus reduced the poor mans
bill of fare until they have left nothing
on it fit for a civilized being to eat, they
kindly furnish receipts for sweetning the
contents of swill-barrc!S, and converting
the swecDincs Of the market-stalls into
appctizing dishes. The working man,
who, in the days of Buchanan, sat down
10 meat. coffee, butter and vegetables, as
he gazcs at his bare board and empty
plate. instead Of these vulgar substantials,
is now rcealed with little Boston tract,
showing that he was boating himself in
those horrible times. and WAS little better
than a ravcnous beast. Thus as beagary
approaches, the Yankees, who have
brought him to it, kindly paint It's beau
ties for him in rainbow colors, and have
left him nothing to cat, kindly tender him
an admirable sauce for making it palata-
BILE. Before many months are passed, SO
rapidly are the Yankees advancing in the
discovery of printed panoceas for hunger,
that we may expect to see articles like
this crowding the columns of their news
papers:
IFom the New York Tribune. Jan, LIST,
1868.
GOOD NEWS FOR THE LABORER.
We learn that Doctor Winthrop Dunshun
ncr. an eminent chemist of Weathcrfield,
has discovered that drt-the pure soil upon