The Nashville daily union. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1862-1866, 1864-11-15
NO. Iss.
RlnRTIR.

Under the head age" was written
81 VIII not swear that am ffty.
Though growing old and also thrifty
: His castle he describes as consisting of
one room, one window, one door and
4 50 air-hOles. Happy man. He ia ev-
: identity philosopher as well as q wit.
{ SCENE IN Police CouRr.-A youth
|, named Daniel oBrien, whose cadaver-
) Gus face and trembling limbs showed
. that he had passed sleepless night,
| was brought before the court on a
: charge OF stealing two cucumbers from
the shop of one Watson. The court
) said that q fine of 81 would be sufficient
|, TO satisfy the vengeance of the law, and
: the sentence produced q remonstranee
, from the lad.
Good heaven, iudgel" he said, shave
| not suffered enough by eating what
stoleH'
He rubbed his stomach as he spoke.
and groaned as though still tender in
that region.
The court said it was one of the pen
alties of sin.
] Penalties r cried the lad; "if YOU
had suffered as did yesterday, you
would think that you had pains as we'll
as penalties. Hereafter cucumbers and
me are strangers. We don't agree"
/ OBrien was suddenly taken with 50
lspasm, and went of groaning
4 The court didn't indulge in early veg
etables, and it looked after the retreat
ing OBrien with q smile Of compassion.
beautifully blended with a pinch Of
snuff.
Pray, madam, what makes you 50
sedate p
"Oh, l have taken a sedatiye."
81 tell you, wife, 1 have got the plan
all in my head
"Ahi then it is all in a nutshell"
Some women takes such delight in
seolding that it would be cruel not To
give them occasion for it
"Sam," said an interesting young
mother to her youngest hopeful, edo
| you know what the difference is be-
tween body and soul The soul, my
child, is what you love with; the body
carries you about This is your body
touching the little fellows shoulders
and arms "but there is something
deeper in. You can feel it now What
| is itP'
"Oh, know" said Sam, with a flash
Of intelligence in his eyes, that's my
| flannel shirt
An old darkey was endeavoring to
explain his unfortunate condition.
you see, remarked Sambo, ait was
IN dis way as far as l can remember.
Fust, my fsder died, an den my mud
der married agin; and den my mudder
died, and my fader sgin and, some
how, l doesn't seem to hab no parents
at all any more, nor no home, nor
no muffin
Our children will have the immense
tax-on their hands, said an American
gentleman.
ooh, horribler' exclaimed an elderly
lady, " what blessing it is we have
nails on ours.
" Tommy, what does bench spellY
Don't know ma am"
What-you little numskull-whet
are you sitting on p
Tommy Cooking sheepish -" Don't
like to tell
A young lady down East advertised
FOR young man who embraced an
opportunity" and says thBt if he will
come over their own town he can do
better.
Deeply were we affected, on reading
the other day Of young lady, who be-
ing told that her lover was suddenly
killed. exclaimed:
"Oh that splendid gold watch Of his
give me that-giVe me something to
remember him byr'
Touching simplicity
To find the value of dollar at anv
price-Try to borrow one when YOU arc
desperately hard up.
Be sure to pay for your pantaloons-
don't get yourself charged with bree-
ehes of trust
Women love TO exercise control
they are not satisfied unless they have
husbands 70 order.
Almost every evil has its compensa-
ions. He who has but one foot never
treads on his own toes.
Scrutinize lawyer when be tells YOU
TO avoid litigation and a doctor when
he drinks your health.
ON A PERPETUAL SINGER.
Miss Nancy sings 50 swsetly, oh
'Twould almost melt your heart, / know.
To hear the strains that sometimes dow
From her delicious lips.
I know il; for hear her sing
The hVelOng day her practising
would make baeh'lOr's hsartbloOd sting
His finger tips
Mas Nancy sfu0s r,ore III. . bsa
Than any lass / ever heard;
But when she is by passion stirred
She is little deeper.
I wish she were bird what raRe)
And her birdship could engage,
I'd put Miss Nancy in a cage,
And there I'd keep her.
Az iRIsH PMoT "A merchant brig got
q pilot on board on the south OF ireland
70 take her into Cork. IL became
stormy, and the pilot quite lost the
.
You're pretty pilot, truly" said
the captain, mot 70 know where we
are.
"0ch, my dear" replied the pilot.
. show me the Old Head o Kinsale and
III tell you where We are ia an instant"
Ak Excuse FoR SMoKISa-In one Of
oDF neighbor1ng towns the lads Of
school acquired the habit Of smoking.
and resoFted TO the most ingenious
Methods 70 conceal the vice from the
master In this they were successful.
until one evening, when the master
'aught them at il, and stood before
hem in awful dignity
How now ? shouted the master 10
he FIRST lad-how dare you be smok
mgr
Sir" said the boy, 1 am subject to
and pipe takel of the
ain
A Vermont farmer sent to an orphan
sylum for boy that was smart ac-
i've, brave, tractable, prompt, indus
rious, clean, pi0us, intelligent, good
boxing, reserved and modest The
sperintendent replied that their boys
ere all human, though they were or
hans, and referred him 70 the New
erusalem If ne wanted his order filed.
Il IS not in brutes that we find most
rutality.
Don't touch me, or III scream as
1e engine whistle aid 70 the st0ker.