Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1864-04-28
Warittp.

on can persuade u TaliipuW " '',NS
appearance on a clear sky; 1t is rcsoluteV
bent on cloud. 81
proptr who ike so much to talk their
mind. should sometimes try and mind their
talk.
WHY should the highest apple ona tree
he n good one Because il is a tlp-top
apple
A BELLE doesn't differ so much from a
bell; they both have clappers in their mouths
WHY is blade of grass like a note at
hand? Because it is matured by falling due.
SpE.KrrG of rising with the lark Artemas
Ward says he should prefer to rise with gold.
A WOMAN in Pownal, Vt, declares she
won have telegraph put in her yard,
"and ever time | spank my children have 1t
TO all over the country"
WE are going 'on to Richmond again
this summer, if we can make the connection.
SrTin your own place and no man can
make you rise.
THERE is to be novel expiditon at Hills
dale, Michigan, on the Doth of May, the
County Agricultural Society has appointed
sheep shearing festival and picnic on that
day
JOHN C. HEENAN is still in London. He
has fits now, and falls down in the street
He has never been well since he was drug
ged for the fight with King, by the friends |
of the latter. 1t is thought he will never
recover
Tx MARVEL says he has no faith in cats;
they are O cold blooded race, they are the
politicians among domestic animals, they
care little who is master, or what are the
overturnings, so their pickings are secure,
and what are their midnight caucusses but
primary meetings.
A coLoRED woman, living in Canada
West, is engaged in the recruiting business
and reached New Haven day or two since
with twenty nine men, who were all
accepted.
A GENTLEMAN from Missouri, in Con
gress, requsted permission to make an honest
speech the other day. 1t was Of course,
promtly decided to be out Of order in that
body.
THE man who tried to arrange his hair
with honey comb, has been trying to catch
whale with Sandy Hook
THEY say the Southern Confederacy is
upon its last legs but we fear these legs
will kick awfully.
WATER isn't fashionable beverage for
drinking your friends health; but it's a
capital one for drinking your own.
Iris a popular impression that the pow
der on lady 5 face has the same effect as in
the barrel Of a musket-it enables her to
go off
So you are going to teach school said a
young lady to her maiden aunt. 'Well
for my part sooner. than do that, | would
marry a widowcr with nine children. -
81 would prefer that myself" was the
quiet reply, but where's the widower- -
That what the matter.
A chap down in Connecticut after the
passage of the Conscription Act, cot mar
mied to evade the draft. He now says if
he can't get a divorce he will enlist, as, If he
mnst fight. he would rather do so for his
country. This fellow has evidently made a
mistake matrimonially.
''SEE here, mister, said lad Of seven
summers who had taken refuge on an ap-
pie tree from big dog, 'if you don't take
that dorg away, I'll eat up all your apples "
could ride well upon saddle, answered in
the Affirmative; when the other replied -
That is well, for then you have no need of
horse.
JosEY being rather rcmiss in his Sunday
school lesson the teacher remarked that he
hadn "a very good memory. mo ma am,
said he, hesitating, 'but | have got first
rate forgettery y
THE following BILL rendered by carpcn
ter to a farmer for whom he had work ed
seems at least curious ''To hanging tw,
barn-doors and myself seven hours, one dol
lar and half.
THERE is great difference between th
uniforms of our soldiers and those Of knight
ly days, when, according to ''the writer
an iron-clad knight who fell in battle la,
still till the battle was over, when his man
alarms l,isurey cracked him open with I
sledge hammer.
QUMp being asked his age, stood upon
his reserved rights and refused to testify
The questioner was importunate, and at
tempted to force II disclosure by guessing.
about forty-tw eh ? "No," said Quilp,
II am reckoned encourages but havn't
forty t,co'd. y
At Womans Rights Convention, in
New York a resolution was reported that
il justice was not done to the ladies', they
would stop the population Of the coun-
try.
Come here, Tommy" said schoolmas.
ter, edo you know your A b Cs?" eyes
zur, know bee sees.
A lady friend of ours was in Chicago thu
other day, and was asked by her cousin how
she liked the Balmoral stocking 80, yer.
WELL" was the reply. "Well, don't, sal,
the cousin, 'nor will | wear them either
L II he nanEcu II l II llukt DdTDcr = pOlt
my leg for the sake Of being fashiona
ble.
WHEN persons are bent on matrlmony
are they bent double?
To be ahead of timc-carry your Watc
behind you.
To keep your poor relatives from trouh
ling you-commt suicide.
He who has bad ends in Wow is prett
sure to come to one
Men and buggics are the only beings tha
wear boots.
SPEAK low ladies'; and yet always en-
deayor to be high-toncd women.
MANY a fellow who talks of laying dow
his life, had much better elevate it.
ARMIES sometimes follow AN empty an
putting general, as the storm clouds folio
the wind
RUDE white boy-Clcar the track nil
ger
Small American Citizen of African decel
Now you jes' huff me lone | guess you
wish you was Niger yourself afOro d
wars oyer.-Erchdnge.
A housemaid the other evening Lippc
from a chair upon which she was tcmpor
rily standing, and fell head foremost into
kapr,l l.,eu u,,uo. ~, hon, a. a l.