The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1864-01-08
In THE SLEEPING CAR.


Have You ever taken a sleeping oar for
4 long ride on one of our Eastern or Wes-
tern railroadsP It is q very curious expe-
rience. To the old traveller such Jour
pey is full of incidents. Accustomed to
the trip between Philadelphia and WASH
ington, never make it without gathering
material for reflection and amusement.
The course is to secure full lo,cer berth,
about thirty minutes before the rush be-
gins, and from your roost, You can unob.
served, ihear much and see many odd
sights. The conductor is aperplexed per-
sonage. He is questioned, seolded and
importuned by turns He must explain,
apologize and expostulats. In this melee
it is marvellous how he preserves his tenn
per. Mr.. Conductor, - says breathless
passenger who has just got in by the New
York train, "give me sleeping place P"
"Have You ticket, sir2" Yes, l have
my through ticket" Sorry sir, but you
must have sleeping ticket. You can get
it in the office at the station house; but
you must hurry, or you will lose your
chance" And away goes the passenger
with about ten chances to one of being
too late. 81 have taken places for two, i"
says soft spoken, handsome young fell
low, with blushing woman on his arm.
"Yes, sir" says the polite master of
ceremonies, "the lady can sleep below,
and you in the upper berth" ''But she
is my wife-snd cannot sleep alone or
with anybody but me-" "sorry, sir, but
our rules are ABSOLUTE can put another
lady with her." "But she is my wife, l
tell you" Indignantly responds the gentle
man. 81 do not doubt you, but do not
know it, and to avoid trouble, we make
an absolute rule to keep the ladies and
gentlemen separate And there ID no
remedy but to submit, or throw up their
tickets and take another car. Frequently
a family enters-father, mother, nurse
and baby. The same struggle ensues on
the temporary divorce of husband end
wife; but the dispute is more readily re-
conciled, and the parties pile in"
After while the matron gently asks:
care you comfortable, Augustus, dear2"
"Pertectly," is the smotbered reply
frem the upper tier
"Do cover up your throav, dearest !;
you know you are not well. Are your
feet wsrm?"
"All right" gaps the husband, ike a
man or the top OF a haylott. "Jane.
what is the mater with the baby? Can't
you keep him oaiet?"
e Bless me, lie is choking Hand bin
over TO me-"
TEEN l hear a squalling package passed
over 10 the kind mother, who soon soothes
it to rest.
Euter fat man, weighing about 500
pounds averdupois.
Conductor, where's my BERTH
" Ecu have but one ticket, and viii
please get in alongside of this gentleman. -
The gentleman alluded to happens to be-
delicate dandy, who is Immediately
above me, on the second shelf, and who
rained down on me a shower of mingled
perfume. The heavy passenger. after q
severe struggle, succeeds in getting into
his berth. While he is getting up see a
huge pair of legs dangling before my face
like twin anacondas, and presently l hear
a series of angry growls and grunts; and
when the mass settles On wicker bed, it
shakes the whole vicinity, and leaves me
in doubt whether it will hang suspended
or fall and crush me-
"God bless me, SIR says the exquisite,
"you are a very large man; you have
pinned me to the wall-I shall sutfocate. {"
"Oan't help it, sir. / paid for my
ticket and intend to get my moneys
worth"
Imagine the fat gentleman snoring and
sweating, and the misery of the nice young
man.
Some of the inexperienced travellers
unboot and uncoat themselves, which is
always mistake "Bundle in as You
are, is the theory of sleeping car
AT last we are disposed of. The whistle
sounds; the engine shrieks; the bell tolls ;
the great train plunges int the outer
darkness. A voice opposite exclaims
"Great Heavens, how hot it is here!-
Conductor, there is no air; open the
dOOr!"
81 object, shouts consumptiue Con-
gresham 81 am not well, and / don't
mean % contract another cold"
Another voice:
"Charley, pass me that flask
And then / heard a gurging sound, and
presently perceived an aroma of Cognac,
which excites two persons of vsrious
opinions little in the advance.
stranger, said the first, "pass me
youy flask, and | will return the compli-
ment when we reach Wizards" Which
car hear is being promptly done.
"What disgrace it ISL says the pro-
testing temperance man, "that this place
shout be turned into GROCERY"
"By Jewel" cries out the owner of the
flask, "here is Cough, the great lecturer
Have a smile, my eloquent friend?" At
which thare is general laugh, and the
consequent subsistence of the he,o ole oppo-
nent of Bacchus.
Before the sleepless finally adjust their
hard pillows, gather up their scanty COW
ering, and ascertain whether their bedfel-
lows, if they have any, are friends or foes,
some rich soliloquies and dialogues take
place among those who have not accus-
toned themselves to this method of trans
portatiOn.