The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1864-12-02
SfGisteIlaneous.
JOE BOWERS WEDDING.

The county ol-.away up in the noun
t,ins" boasts Of one OF the best judges in
C,liiornis. On the bench he is firm decided
and prompt, not caring snap of the finger
for either the applause Of friends or the NUT
tering Of enemies He is. perhaps. the most
devoted man to the law in all creation. and
has his head SO full Of what he terms "judi-
cial talk" that he not unfrquently finds
himself making learned charges, and passing
sentences outside the COURTROOM.
On recent occasion. the Judge was called
on 10 exercise the "power and authority In
him vested" in the case of n young couple
who desired wedlock. OF course he consent-
ed to perform the pleasant duty. and on the
appointed evening was promptly on hand mt
the hour a, which the affair was to come of
The room was crowded by the beauty and
fashion of the town, and none looked more
dignifed or happy than judge himself,
who was dressed within an inch Of his lie.
The wine had passed round and round
the musi had ceased-the time for making
Joseph Bowers and Nancy Harkins one had
arrived Every heart throbbcd with the
mos, delightful emotions. The young gen.
tlemen desired to know how Joe would stand
il, and the young ladies were anxious to see
how Nancy would suffer the anxious shock.
Others. again, who had closely observed the
turn Of affairs during the evening fixed their
attention upon the Judge, to see how he
would come out Of ths scrape.
At length the trying moment was an
nounccd, the Judge ruse very cautiously from
the chair which he occupied in Que corner OF
he room. and casting his eyes over the COM
pany. he singled out the Sheriff of the coun-
ty. who was present rs an invited guest. The
Judge had Just imbibed enough to make him
forget the nature of his business. He was
full of his judicial talk, and required moth.
ins but the presence of the Sheriff to start
him. Looking sternly at that officer, ho
shouted
"Mr. Sheriff, open the Court and call or
der"
A general twit,er followed this command,
in the midst OF which the Sheriff took the
"Court" by the arm, and led him to his seat
| in the corner; NJ the same time informing
tue august parsonage OF the mistake.
Everything now bid fair for u pleasant and
sudden termination of the affair, until anoth-
or annoyance, which was nothing else than
the absence of the bridegroom, was observed.
II turned out that he had just stepped across
thss,reet to Join his friends in parting drink;
hut before his return. some cool-blooded wag
had whispered into the ear of our old togy
the cause Of "the delay Of the proceedings"
Instantly the chair in the corner moved, and
in that direction all eyes were fixed.
"Nir. Sheriff." slowly bawled tho Judge,
"bring Joe into the Court on n supcnar,'
1.-THE Judge had his own way of pronouncins
the word y then addressing the bride. who
had stood in the foreground and hung her
head in deep confusion, he added s'pose
YOU are the plaintiff? Well don't take on.
Innocence and virtue will bc protected in this
here Court"
This was the saddest blunder Of all. Tho
Judge was again mado to see his mistake.
and would have been considerably set back,
had il not been for corrective in the shap,
of "forty drops Of the critter," which he in-
st.utly applied. -,
In a few moments all was ready in right
down earnest. The bridegroom had arrived,
full Of JOY. The excitement was intense.
lIe evidently felt every inch Judge.
"J.J-o-o b. Bow rs" commenced the
man OF law. in that distressing style ofspeech
with which he has invariably troubled, when
under the influence Of liquor. "J-J.o-c b.
BIO e-r.s stand up. Have y-y-you any
thing TO = say w-why SIS sentence
"S,op, stop, stop, Judge" shouted the
Sheriff from the back part Of the room YOU
are not going to hang the man, but marry
him." .-..
The Judge drew long breath and blinked
rapidly, hut he stood his ground well. Re.
covering himself he proceeded
"J.Joe b Bowers, do y-you t-take
Nancy H.lIarkens for y-you wife. 50 help me
God ~
This was tolerable effort, and Joe nodded
assent.
"N.Nancy Harkens, it now remains for
this C.Court to
Here the Sheriff again interrupted the
Judge. reminding him OF the real business OF
the evening.
"Miss N. Nancy" resumed the Judge, af'
ter being set Alright. "d.d.do y.y.you t-tako
Joe Blowers for husband to the best OF
your knowledge and b.belicf. or do-do you
not ?"
.You can bet | will,' softly answered the
light hearted Nancy.
Tn, Judge then took tho hands OF the hap.
py couple, and joining them, wound up ne
follows:
alt now r.remaius for this h-herc C-Court
to pronounce you J.Joc b overs and y,you
Nancy Harkens, man and vile: snd-(herc
the Judge paused to wipe the perpiration
from his facet ,--m.rnay G-G-God-or-m!ty
h'have mercy on y-y-your ss-souls !-Sherin'
remove the culprits -,
The company roared. Joc and Nancy
weakened. The Sheriff was taken with .
leaving. Tho Judge lot himself out loose in