The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1864-01-28

then, intending TO touch her shoulder,
| had sufficient strength to say, Iucy"
when stumbled, and fell at hec heels
look at my dirty hands and knees
and then, while was looking up, on all
fours, she whirled around and gave me
tremendous drubbing with her sun
shade-broke il over me and my hat
look at my hat, Lucy-and bestowed
upon me the foreign name OF black
guard, aud swore, Lucy, sworo awiully
that she was a lady, and no such woman
as | took her to bel took her to be
YOU, Lucy and if it had not been for
the Intervention Of police man, whom
she called and told that | had made an
attempt to dcmoralize the integrity OF
her crinolinc, l might have Jared worse,
and not escaped TO tell you-and take a
little soda, with red lavender, Mr.,
Apothecary."
Mrs. SRnshmoro surveyed the soiled
exterior Of her volatile husband, and
comparing it with his confused interior
arrived at the sudden conclusion that
she wanted to 90 home, as soon as he
had made acquaintance with soap and
water and a brush, which were quickly
putt in use, and the important errand was
postponed, Marcus being now of the ex-
pressed opinion that
"a series of devils had come down in
/ the thunder storm, to tempt him out to
take a short walk with his wife, and dis
courage them from any wish for future
promenades."
| And SO, engaging arms, they resum'
cd their porambulation, steering for the
home which both heartily regretted they
! had left.
al expect to live and die indoors,
/ Marcus" murmured Lucy, "and after
this days experience with you, [ feel
resigned to my tate-but don't wish to
die in the street, and SO you need not
drag me along SO fast as You do. Peo'
/ pie are staring at US, you hurry So"
"No, it IS because you are slow, my
dear" replied he, now beginning to feel
. irritable himself, under her continued
complaints. u see how il is. 4 busi-
ness man Ike me has no business to be
walking with a woman. Hereafter, my
tortoise dove, must commend you to the
! charge Of some gallant and sauntering
man Of leisure when you wish to take an
airing. I feel that you consider me but
an awkward and unworthy companion
for stroll, and to please you and make
sure that [ do not walk to fast for your
strength aad ideas of propricty, l will
, walk behind, if you say so. Anything
for peace, and to Get once more home
without further mishaps and reproach-
os."
Mrs Rushmore dropped his arm at
these words, as if il had been red hot
bar Of iron, and the much vexed hus
band fell behind, while she slowly sailed
ahead. tol prou to demonstrate. or once
to turn to see if he attended closely, the
which he vas now by no means careful
to do. On the contrary, inspired with a
fierce contempt forappearance, and thirs-
ty from anxiety aud unusual cxertions,
he INDUCED himself on the way with
an occasional glass ofale, and purchased
few punches of radishes, eating as he
went on, sometimes in the wake Of his
wife, and sometimes passing her and ta-
king the lead far in advance, aiGording
her an opportunity to see with what ra-
pldity and uonchalance he disposed of
the ruby roots and tossed away their
green sprouts, regardless whom they hit,
and apparently indifferent to the fact
chat he HAD lovely woman for a WIFI,
and that she was blushing biliously at
his conduct.
The return home was thus rendered
quite as yexatious as the departure from
it, but il was reached at last; aud the
weary pair in great tribulation re entered
it, victims of combination of such pet
ty anaoyances as often serve more surely
to make life miserable than great calam-
tiles, which allow the soul to possess its
dignity though encompassed by sor-
row.
The grand result of the short walk
was that Mrs. Lucy Rushmore was for
} the time cured Of her long cherished de-
sire to walk out with her husband: and
until time afforded them more favora.
Bile condition Of lie, she was content to
l ulSpenso Win her nuSDandS escort IN
, the street, and, when she went abroad,
to walk with women.
r@-M Magistrato-''What brings you
F! here, sir p
r Prisonoe-"Two officers, please your
4 honor"
Magistrate-"Then suppose liquor
, has something to DO with it?'
r Prisoner-"Yes, sir, they were both
drunk"
; rsa9A little girl was told to spell
r JermeRt, and give its meaning, with a
sentence in which it was used The
: following was literally her answer
5 "F-e-r-m emit, verb, signifying to
! lcoyk-I love to Jermeat in the gar