davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1864-12-03

spades 's'..- Eis.
41.2to6A. III dig and throw up
the earth. Get sick aud throw up my
yesterdays rations. ,t
{, o'ci0ck Another roll of drums.
Filing off into line and deiliug my
inexpressibcs with mud and other sacred
soil, drawing ramrods but nos'pay. No
Smelling out by government, but cussed
sight too much shelling out BY Grant.
o'cIo'k,-More drilling, but not of
the cotton kind, wharewith to increase
my present supply of one shirt % 4sss
lOo'rIo k.--More digging. Spadular
researches into the geological formation
Of the earth. Find it to comprise al.
ternate stratas of sweat, sunetroke,
swearing and biistcrs.
II o'clock.-Evidences Of dinner.
Saw Capt. Yawslack picking his teeth
witt 3 teo.penny nail, and the corporal
taking chew OF tobacco. 7a.
o. Maria,, if you only knew what
hare suffered to save you from being
bor,uarded blythe diabniical Yanks j
Rather than any of the Northern qcum|
should blockade my dear Mariar, Td|
divorce her. Col. Pluck came very nea.
being shot in the meek BY one of his
own officers. ~ .
The colonel had just got his staff
together, and struck his noble steed|
with it when Capt. Svipes levclled al
bottle at him. Fortunately the contents
missed his jugular, and went down thd
natural way, am reduced to a skele
ton. My eyes are sunk So lar into my
head that | can look down my windpipe6
clean through my entire interior I
there was hole in the top OF my hea,
J d make d first lass telescope (I've 60
the glasses IN ne now. My chin is s.
sharp tha: il shaves itself. I'm goinl
on pickle: duty .on qh' Pickat duty 1
awful hard wJrs ! mos' cvnry nigh
a pickct's gOu &c 1t .lo s',co we q
to look for him we ild la hes 9 ne Of
too. Ever yon d Al hu,bani
GUCKnoRN HANDEL
P. S. If your old father has drank
npall that tangIetjJt Juice lcit at home
l'll cram the demUohn down his throa
and c,rk lin .up with a boot heel
lThar's SO Marian. f9
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1864-12-03
Josh Billings Answers his
Correspondents.

AMERIcUs-Your contribushun IL
n hand We like its fuduess. It IL
like lie on sand Hill. Natur has lid
goo; thing Tor VI, and yu ught few be
willing tew dew a good thin. for natur.
This line in vonr produk>hun strikes us
very butiful and original: "Ahd
larn the. luxury Of dewing good" Gold.
smith hisself mite have him proud of
such line. And again "0h, would
some mower the gifty Civ us ov seeing
ourses az lthers see uz;" yure idee ov
introdusing the Skotch acksent into
your lie, IL very happee 1t ynn ncv
er hav red Robert Burns. you will te
surprized to larn that his stile very much
I. senlbels yures nuse mnre yu say
"If ignoranse is bliss, It's follow to be
wise This sentiment IL jist AZ ttu a.
tz common. Pope think. ha1 sum
thing similar but awl CRATE minds sunn
times express theirselfs alike Your
coDtribu>hun will appear in onr issu,
with wood cut piktm Of a saw buk at
the top ov 1t.
FLoRA-Yu say that "Yure Adol
phus haz proved untrn, and yu must
le." I never advise doth under emmy
circumstances, alhoit proberly IL cheap
er jist now tew die than il IL tew live,
Bear mp like man unler yura dispen.
sashuns. Take sum Pills; but if WI
find that yu ar, so bound up in Adol.
phus that fissick won't wurk. hire out to
teach distrik skule, and it won't be 8
months before yu Nan exklain, with tie
Patriark ov old, Adolphus be Id!
BETA think sumly az yu do, ''this
wurd is awl feetin cirkus, for mans
illushun given" but that amt no recon
for not pitching in and being illusioned
onss in while. wouldn't give sent
for a man who hadn't bin illusioned. and
who didn't expect tew bet several times
agin. 3 fa
PHILANDER-Yu ask me which is
the most best, the marrid or the single
condishun? Most evry boldly, at sum
time 10 their life, haz tride the single
state also, most everybody has banker
ed after the double state, or marFid CON
dishun. / hay tride both states, and
am reddy tcw sware, that if a man kan
git.a woman who kan fri pancakes on
both sides without burnin them, and
don't kanker TO be q wimmin's kommit.
b, the married state. issa Hogen and
srth svl tew opst But after axl, The
--la -iNfstisft4 JOY sa'fsaiIi1fizd lNf
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1864-12-03
Waltzing.

The following is Western descrip.
ton of waltzing ~ group of splendid
one, is on the floor, and lovingly ma
ted the gents encircle their partners
waists with one arm. The ladies and
gentleman closely face to face. They
are very erect, and lean little back.
The ladies lean little forward. (Mu.
si2.1 Now all wheel and whirl, circle
AID curl. Feet ana heel o. gents go
ri2 zap, rip, rap. rip. Ladies' feet 20
t.7fety tip ripPety tip, tap. Then all
rippety, chppety, slipPety Alppety,
IL kprety ,huppily. jumpity, sumppity,
thump. Ladies fly off by centrifugal
moml ntum. Gents pull ladies' hard
aud close. They reel; swing, slide, look
tender, look silly, look dizay, Feet Ry,
tresses fly, hoops Ay, all fy. 1t looks
stuggity, bnggity. pulliry, squeezity
pressity, rnppity rid, The men like "A
cross between steelyards and climber.
jacks beetles aud jointed KS. The
nlaIdens tuck down their chins very low,
or raise them exceedingly high. Some
giggle and frown. some sneer, and all
sweat freely. The ladies' f4ces are
brought against those of the men, or
into their bosoms, toes against toes.
Now they are again making a sound,
geo!gy peorgy, deery peery, didy pity.
coachey poachey. This dance is not
much, hut the extras are glorious. 1t
the men were women, there would be
no such dancing. But they are only
men, and so the thing goes on by wo-
mems love of it, ss-sl- g- taee-..
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1864-12-03

BRAINs.-An american sl11p-of wa
had put into an English p-rt, and thu
hrst lieutenant went ashore to recon
uoitre. In the course OF his travels ht
encountered "A tavern where a numbe
OF British officers were carousing The,
at once Recognized the lieutenant's nd
tionality by his dress, and resolved Il
auuse themselves by bullying him.
"Welt, camrade," said one, "you bt
long to the United States navy,
see p
"Right.-was the answer.
"Now what would ynu say TO mi
who would say that your navy did NJ
contain an otioer fit for a gunboat
continued an IEnglishman. es ar
al wonll blow his brains out. !" retur
ed the lieutenant with great eoolness.
There wasa silence among her VI
jestys servants for moment; finally o
OF them, more muddled 4han the reI
managed to staminer out
"W-well, Yank, Ii | say il,
The American walked to his side, a
replied calmly:
at is lucky for you, shipmate, ii
you have no brains to blow out"
Struck by the dignity of the answd
the offenderat once apologized, aud
hero was invited tojoin the mess.
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1864-12-03
Administrators Notice.

Letters of Administration have been
granted in due form of Law, TO the sub.
scriber WIN. Mack upon the Estate of
Elisha Mack, Late of Salem Md de-
ceased. Allpersons having any claim
against said Estate, are requested to
present them duly authenticated for set
tlement. Any person owing the Estate,
are requested to make payment forth,
with.
WILLIAM MACK,
Ad0sinistrdtor cfths Este Of .EEsha
Heck Dscsossb. ~ p
Jnns llth 1864, 80 ss@ As.laaa
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1864-12-03
R1DewAY ELK CoUNTY PENNA,
Butter Sixty Cents a Pound


IIark from thn NIB thc doieful sound,
Butter sixty cents pound
Soft and assy war and thunder,
5ny pickle aud pay for cucumber
What makes it so how eau il be /?
Two dollars for pmind OF tea
Seventy ceuts for coffee ground, zrsssa
Anl butter sixty cents pound. '.s
gst f5iH
Uay they say is on the run,
Ptrty dollars for a ton e.'-1-
Gra,ngoes up aud Green goes down
Aud butter sixty cents a pound ,a
Dry goods, too. are more than double.
To cover your back it is some trouble;
Bur latest fashions on contractors found,
And butter sixty cents pounn.
We soon shall have tostop theslaughter;
As pound of beef now costs quarter,
And that sometimes is near the round,
And butter sixty cents pound re
They say that speculation causes all;
Trne. tor ONE nigge' five white men fall;
Nisser,ive " iite man goe under grouad,
While buffers sixty cents pound
We are fighting now they say, 4
In the true and righteous way,
Toput the nigger aud white men down,
While buffers sixty cents pound +!
@! this is glorious war, 81,
We should have had tloug before,
And thanks we say to Old John Brown,
For buffers sixty cents pound
And thanks. we say. to Abe and Chase,
And all them fellers in that place =
For they are bound to keep us down
While buffers sixty cents a pound !
When first the boys went TO the war,
They always left with grand hurran /;
But now we hear no cheering souGd
While butter sixty cents pound. &C.
Old Abe, he loves to make joke,
And said this war would end in smoke. |
The joke it good, as we have touad,
And buffers sixty cents pound Il!
Where is the gradual emancipation +? /
Where is the honest compensation !?
Where is his inaugural that looked so
round?
Where is butter ?-sixty cents pound
CHoRUs.-G love the roosiers crow,
love to see the piggies grow,
hate 10 see the COWS around
'st.. When buffers sixty cents a
IA pound.
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1864-12-03
Giving JOY TO q Child.

BLESSED be the hand that prepares
a pleasure for a child, there is no saying
when and where it may again bloom
i5rth. Does not almost every boly re
mewber some kind hearted man who
showed HIM Kindness in the ducst
davs ai his childhood !? The writer %
tai~rscnllects himself, at this moment
q bareiooted lad, staEding at the w1od,.
Gu iepee ofa poor little garden in his
native village, while. the longing eyes he
glzel ON the flowers which were bloom
ing there quietly in the brightness of a
Sabbdth morning The passessor came
forth from his little cottage he was a
wood cutter By trade, aud spsut the
whole week at work in the woods. He
hal come into the garden to gather
fiiwors to stick in his coat when he went
to church. He saw the boy and break
ing off the most beautiful OF his carna.,
tions lit was stresked with red and
white he gave to him. Neither the
giver nor the receiver spoke word, and
with a6ounding steps the boy ran home.
And now here, at vast distance from
that home, after so many events of so
many years, the feeling of gratitude
which agiiated the breast of that by
expresses itself on paper. The carna,
ton ba, lolg since withered, but it now
blooms fresh. s-
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1864-12-03
COUNTY DIRECTORY.

President Jadge.
Hon. R. White. Marlborough.
Assoeiate Judges,
Hon. V. S, Brockway, Jay tp.
Hon. r. G, Schultze, St. Mary's.
Sheriff. -..l
P. W. Hays, Ridgway
Rrothsnotary, Reg, and Rec.
George Ed. Weis, Ridgway
District Attorney,
j. G. Chaplin, Ridgway
Treasurer,
Charles Luhr. 81. Mary's
County Surpeyor,
George WalmSley, st. Marys
Commissioners,
Charles Weis, st. Mary's
Julius Jones, BeEeze't
Joshua Keefer, Jones
Auditors,
Rat. Kyler, Fox
Henry Warner, Jones
II. d. Derr, Benezett
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1864-12-03

San Trishman being asked whet
eF he did not frequently converse wi
q friend in Irish. replied: "No. indee
Jenny often speakes to me in Irii
but | always answer him in EnslisA
"Why so?" Because. you see, | do
vpnt Jenny to knoS that understs
Irish."
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1864-12-03
SATURDAY Dcce nber Sd Is

marrid state iz good deal like falling
out OF cherry tree ifa person don
happen tew git burt, it IL good reas.
on for not trietine il aein. ..... ~.
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1864-12-03


A GRANDMOTHER. --As two urchins
were trotting along together. one of
them fell and broke q pitcher he was
carrying HeeoWmenced crying, when
the other boy asked him why he took
on so? 80
cause" said he, "when I get home
moter will whip me Tor breaking the
mug" af e-...c
"What," said the other, "sin't you
got a grandmother living at your
house 2" 49,.
"No y was tho repl. rs.
aawell, i have and might break
too mugs odthsy daroo't wSip ne"
? ieisA 20 ilaos ea ,zsa sfass 4
a.aa.a -. 4. -. 49,.
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1864-12-03

\ GUILDS EXPEDIENTs-A little
girl about four years cid trotted down
to Atlanta Dock the other day, says a
New York correspondent to buy some
corn for her mothers chickens. She
had pail'in, her hand in which to put
the corn, but before she, reached the
spot where. she was accustomed
to find it, she came to cask of
honey. This was not to be passed by
without an effort to obtain some Of it.
The men at work within the dock, un-
observed by the child watched her at
tcmpts to reach the sweet temptation.
Her little arms wcrt too short for the
enterprise. but after moments eons;d
Grafton. she took off her shoe and stock
ing, rolled UP her drawers, and climb
ing mp on something against which the
cask stood, let down her foot aud ankle
into the honey then she drew it ur,
and with her hand scrapcd off the noney
into her pail, This she reCaated until
the pail was iull, when sne went to the
water side and wE.sned, and replacing
her shoe and stocking, started with her
spoil for home. A man followed her
and heard her tell her mother that she
had brought home honey; but to all
questioning as to show how she obtained
it, she wos mute. In short time she
returned to the dock for her chicken
food, when, al | understand, there was
quite an excitement over her, and a
collection taken up to reward her inge.
rui:y-not, It's to be hoped, to encour-
age her honesty.
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1864-12-03

sr ffEs sHr7aasA - 5sB.sse sgai 80
stssrss z, e,g, hssas
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1864-12-03

They say that speculation causes all;
Trne. tor one nigge' five white men fall;
Nigser.ive " rite man goe under grouad,
While buffers sixty cents pound
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1864-12-03

Hs isasHl5 tssos e .zss
szs rssfs e sss.a
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1864-12-03

VTNNTI'TWN n IIANIIFI,
P. s. fy1ur old father has drank
mp all that tangefjJt juice | leit at home
III cram the Iemijohn down his throat
and clrk lin up with a boot heel
Thar's SO Harriar. Fa
The Elk advocate. [volume] (Ridgway, Elk Co., Pa.) 186?-1868, 1864-12-03

IIark from thn NIB thc doeful sound,
Butter sixty cents pound !
Soft and essy war and thunder,
Bay pickle aud pay for a cucumber.
The Portland daily press., 1864-01-06
American end Foreign Patents.
Il. III. EDDY,
SOLICITOR OF PATENTS,
Late Agent Of u s Patent Office, Washington
tund'ertae Act 1871
76 State Stre' e t,opposite Kilby Street,
B o STON

FIER an cxte nsi We practice of upwards oftwen
ty earsconti nu es to secure Patents in the Unit
cd States also in Great Britain, France, and other
foreign countries. Caveats Specifications. Bonds
Assignments and AL Papers Drawing for Patents
executed on libcra te rms, and with despatch Re-
searches made into A merfcan or Foreign works to
determine the vail dit utility of Patents or Inyen-
ons-and legal or o. her advice rendered in all mat
ters touching the san Copies of the claims of any
Patent furnished by remitting One Dollar. Assign
ments recorded at w ashington
lhe Agency Is mot only the largest in New Eng
land, but through n inventors have advantages for
securing Patents cG aseeraining the patentabty of
pcrior to, any whies can be offered them elsewhere
Hw ysR sH'
than the subscribers and as SUCCESS Is THE BEST
PROOF OF ADvA NTAGES AND ABILITY he
would add that he h as abundant reason to believe
the charges for services SO moderate
The immense prac ti of the subscriber during TWEEN
ty years past has .na.bed him TO accumulate vast
collection OF spec cs tions and official decisions rea-
i've TO patents.
These. besides, hi extensive library oflcgal and
mechanical works dfu accounts of patents grant,
in the United Sfzt and Europe render him able
beyond question, to offer superior facilities for OBJ
All necessity of Journey to Washing gton to pro.
cure patent and Il e usual great delay there are
here esayedinventors
+ TIES TIMoNIALs
'Tregard Mr.. Eddy as one of the most capable an d
saccesyat practitioS with whom have had Off
calintercourse." CHARLES MASON,
Commissioner of Patents.
81 have no hesitation in assuring inventors that
they cannot empl oy person more competent and
trustworthy and more capable of putting their ap-
plications in foi IN 80 for them an early and
| favorable consideration at the Patent Office"
EDMUND BURKE
I ate Commissioner of Patents
"Mr. X. ii. Eddy 'las made for me TIL HIRTEEN an.
plicatons all but ONE of which patents have been
| granted, and that is pending. Such unmstak.
able proof of great talent and ability on his part
leads me to reeomme nd all inventors TO apply to him
to procure their pateuts they sure of hav.
ing the most faithful attention bestowed on their
cases, and at very res .sonable charges
| JOHN TAGGART
Dnring geight months. the subscriber, in course OF
his large practice, ms de tscice rejected appca-
| tions, SIXTEEN AP.pEALS, EVERY ONE of which
Prtcnts- Il. Fl. EDDY
| ianSeodly
The Portland daily press., 1864-01-06
p r OS p ECT e S
OF
PORTLAND DAILY PRESS
AND THE
MAINE STATE PRESS.
Published at No. 80 Exchange Street,
PORTLAND,
B N. A. FOS TER d CO..
L S 6 4
j. It. GILMAN, Editos


In starting the PORTLAND DAILY PKrss the
Proprietors were Influenced by what they be
lieyed to be demand of the loyal public senti-
ment of the State, and the generous reception
which 1t has met with, and the unexpected meas
ure of success which has uniformly attended il
thus far afford the most satisfactory evidence to
the propretors that they did not miscons.rue the
public demand. The Press has been in existence
but one year and half. and though it was COM
menced with no previous canvassing, and with
the field, to superficial observer, fully occupied
by papers having old associations and honor
able antecedents, yet in its brief history it has
gained circulation never before attained by any
daily paper in the State, and hold upon pub
lie confidence and respect most encouraging to
the proprietors, and stimulating to their cher
ished desire to satisfy the public wants by max
ing such paper as shall be deemed public ne
cessty by the loyal people of Maine
Though the Press has had success far ex-
ceeding the most sanguine expectations of its
projectors, and though comparatively few sub
scribers have been heard to complain of its ac-
knowledged DEFICIENCIES, and few demands for its
improvement have come to the notice of its pro-
prietors, and though it may have been all they
could afford to make it at the past and existing
exorbitant prices of printing materials and stock
and with its present patronage, yet the propre-
tors have long felt that it is far short Of what
leading journal in the commercial and financial
center of the State should be; and that the en-
terprise, the wealth, the public spirit and the
fast increasing population of Portland demand
and should therefore sustain, such efforts as are
necessary to make paper commensurate with
the growing importance and commanding posi-
ton of their city.
The Business of this city should demand much
more space for its advertisement than her num-
erous merchants and manufacturers have as vet
claimed for its accommodation while the great va
riety and Importance of the news of the day-For-
eign and Domestic, Civil and Military -imper-
atiyely calls for more attention than the patron
age actually enjoyed by any paper in the State
would justify bestowing upon it. The Proprie-
tors of the PREss, reposing implicit trust in the
good sense and the liberalty of the people of
Maine, and their willingness to sustain all en-
terprises having for their object the promotion of
our common veal, hope the day is not far dis
tant when they may, with full confidence in sue
cess make,
The Portland daily press., 1864-01-06
MISCELLANEOUS.
Help the Sick and wounded.
THECHRISTlAN COMMISSION

Il s now fully organized, so that II can reach the
soldiers in all parts of the army with stores and
religious reading and instruction.
Its object is the spiritual aud temporal welfare of
the soldiers and sailors 1t distributes its stores by
means of Christian men, who go without pay and
give personally to those who need, ACCOMMODATING
each distribution by words of religious counsel and
cheer, and by such personal attention as may be
needed.
The main object of the Commission is the religious
welfare of the soldiers but they find that they best
succeed in this by first ministering to the bodily
wants, and then pointing to Christ.
in their power to aid soldiers who are starving in
the prisonsin Richmond, and for this purpose need
large sums of money.
Funds are much needed to procure religious read.
ing and such special stores are not given We be-
ieve all stores entrusted to will be faithfully dis.
tributed.
For further information directions and documents
address HENRY III. BURGESS, 50 Commercial street,
Portland.
Money may be sent TO CYRUS SruRpryANr. rs
Commercial street. Portland, and stores to any mem.
Der of the Army Committee.
Where more convenient, stores and money may be
sent to GEORGE II. STUART, Esq, ID Bank street,
Philadelphia.
The members of the Commission are
George II. Stuart, Esq, Philadelphia,
Rev Rollin Ii. Neale, D. D., Boston,
Charles Demond, Esq, Boston,
Rev. Bishop 4; s. James, d. d., New York,
Rev James Eells, d. D., Brooklyn,
Mitchell NJ Miller, Esq, Washington,
John p. Grocer. Esq, Philadelphia,
Jay Cooke, Esq. philadelphia.
Rev N. r. T: Thompson. Cincinnati,
Col Clinton b. Fisk, st. Louis, -
John V. Farwell, Esq, Chicago
ryRrIs r rHIAnES; srt4R;nrvANr IL CHASE, IaASs,ov
II. H. BURGESS.
Army Com. Portland Y. M. C. association.
novl9 ed3m
The Portland daily press., 1864-01-06

A TIMELY HINT ABOUT FIREs.-An ex-
change has the following which we commend
to every body:
The danger from fire increases as the cold
weather comes on. An ounce OF timely pre-
caution against negligence is worth a pound
OF cure-or words TO that eiIect-as the say
ing goes. An Investigation into the cause of
the numerous conflagrations shows how
great matter a little fire kndieth, y and
should be a sufficient warning against care
lessness. A shovel full of ashes in a wooden
vessel, a foul chimney, broken stove, the
neglect TO place brick or zinc under stove,
or few matches left exposed. may be the
means OF destruction of building or block
In these days, when roaring fire in CRATE
is comfort, 1t would be exceedingly ,disa-
greeabe to stand in the street in the middle
of the night, en- dishabitte, TO see your domi-
cile aud household goods converted into
ashes.
The Portland daily press., 1864-01-06

A Cool SOLDIER ON LOOKOUT Noun
TAIN.--A soldier belonging to an Iowa regi-
ment at the battle Of Lookout Mountain, cool
ly sat down on rock during the thickest OF
the engagement to waitfor his gun to cool of,
as he had fired it very often aud effectively.
the boys who were fighting around him delib-
erately ceased firing and waited until he sung
out for them an old and familiar song, Root
Hog or DE-" which he is said to have sung
with such humor as TO make all merry and
forgetful Of the fearful scenes around them
When the song was finished, they reloaded
their guns and entered the fight again, doing
damage to the rebels.