Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1864-05-27
A BACKWARD COW RIDE,

During the Revolutionary War, when
corps Of the American Army was encamped
near the borough Of Elzabethtown, New
Jersey, an officer, who by the why, was more
of a dcvotec of Venus than Mars, paid bis
addresses to lady Of distinction, whom he
was in the habit Of visiting nightly. Ga
discovery Of the repeated absence Of the Of.
ficer, and Of the place where interviews with
his Dulcinea were had, some waggish friends
resolved to play off very handsome trick
at his expense, which should deter him from
a repetition of his visits. The officer, it ap.
pears, rode very small horse Of the pony
kind, which he left united, with the bride
Icins over his neck, near the door, in order
to ride off without delay when the bust ness
IT counting and kissing was over, and tho
horse always remained until backed by the
owner, without attempting to change his po-
sition.
On certain dark and gloomy night, when
tho officer, as usual, bad gone to pay his de-
votions to the object of his dearest affections,
and was enjoying the approving smiles Of
tho lovely fair enc. his waggish companions
went privately to the door Of the house where
the officer was, took his bride and saddle
from the horse, which they sent away, placed
the bride on the tail and tho saddle on the
back, and the cruppcr over the horns Of a
quiet old COW, that stood peacefully chewing
her cub near the spot. Immediately thereaf-
ter they retired some distance from the house
and separating, raised the loud cry of alarm,
that the enemy had landed, and were march
ing into the village.
Our hero, on hearing this, took counsel
from his fears, and snatching hasty kiss,
he shot out of the door with the velocity OF
n musket ball. and mounted into the saddle,
with his back toward the head of the COW,
and plunging his sharp spurs keeniy into
her sides, caused her to bawl out with exces-
sive pain, and she darted with her best gal
lop toward the camp. The officer still plying
his spurs with all his wine on board-fnding
himself hurrying rapidly backward, maugre
of all his efforts to advance, and hearing the
repeated Rawlings of the tortured beast, i'm
ag,ned he was carried off by magic, and
roaring out most Justify that the devil had
got him-was thus carried into the very GEN.
ter Of the camp.
The scntinels, hearing the noise, discharg-
cd their pieces and fed, and alarm guns were
fired, the drums beat to arms, the officers
left their quarters and cried turn out," with
nll the strength Of their lungs. The soldiers
startled from their sleep as if ghost had
disturbed their dreams, and the whole body,
running half naked as quick as possible, in
gallant tleshabille, prepared to repel tho ter
riblc invader. When 10 the ludicrous sight
soon presented itself to their eyes, of the gal
liant officer mounted on COW, with his face
toward her tail, her tongue hanging out, her
sides CORY with the gouging of the spurs,
and he himself almost deprived Of reason,
md half Mortified with horror
A loud roar of laughter burst from the as
scmblcd band at the rider and his steed-tho
whole corps gave him three times three
cheers as he bolted into camp. He was car
ried to his quarters in triumph, there to
dream Of lovers, metamorphoses, backward
rides, sternway advances, and alarms of in.
vasion, and thereby Garnish his mind with
materials for writing splendid treatise on
the novel adventures Of COW ride.