The Hancock Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Ohio) 1857-1870, 1864-06-10
The Deaf wife aud Deaf Aunt

'''' '''''N NNH'''r7 w ''s''e aff' ~
the first time since my marriage, and
7 n'tknow what evil genius prompt
cd the wickedness which perpetra.
ted towards my wife aud my ancient
relative. .. -..
MY DEAR" said to my the day
before my aunts arrival, lyon know
aunt Mary is coming tomorrow; well
| forgot to mention n rather annoy
ing circumstance in regard Shes
very deaf aud although she can hcal
my voice, to which she is accustomed,
in its ordinary tone, yet you will be
Obliged to speak extremely loud in
order to be heard. II will he rather
inconvcnient, but | know you will do
everything in your power to enter.
tain her, and make her stay pleasant" I"
then went To John T, who
loves joke as we'll as any person |
know OF, told him TO be- at nv house
Mt six o cloct, on the following eve
ming: and felt comparatively happy.
l went to the railroad with carriage
the next night, and when was on
my way homo with my aunt I said.
"My dear aunt, there is rather
annoying infrmitv that Anna (my
wife has. which I forgot to mention
berore. She IS very deaf; although
she can hear my voice, to which she
is accustomed, in its ordinary tones
yet You will be obliged to speak ex.
tremely loud in order to be hearl. -
I ain very sorry she is So"
Aunt Mary in the goodness of her
heart protested that she rather liked
speaking loud and that to do 30 would
give her great pleasure.
/ handed out my amt ---aha ~---..a
ed the steps.
II am delighted to see you
shriclged my wife; and the policeman
on the opposite sidewalk started, and
nv aunt nearly fell down the steps.
kiss me. DEAR" how!ed my aunt,
and the hall lamp clattered and the
windows shook with fever and ague.
looked out of the window--John
had disappeared. Human nature
could stand it no longer poked
my head into tho carriage and wen,
INTO commissions. When | went into
the parlor my wife was helping aunt
Mary to take oif her hat and cap, and
there sat John with his long face o.
woe. Suddenly, did you have ;
pleasant journey?' went off my witt
! like a pistol. and John nearly jumpc.
to his feet.
Rather dusty was the response
in war whoop; so the conversation
continued. The neighbors for block,
around must have heard it; when
was in the third story of the building
1 heard every word plainly.
In the conrsc of the evening my
aunt took occasion TO say TO me:
"Iow loud your wife speaks, dom
it hurt hcr?''
I told her all deaf persons SPOKE
loudly, and that my wife being used t,
it, was not affected by the excrtion
and that aunt Mary was getting alon!
| finely with her.
Presently my wife said softly:
"Alf, how very loud yonr aun
talks"
Yes" said "all deaf persons do
You are getting along iincly,she hear
every word YOU say. And l rathc
think she did.
Elated by their success at beinl
I understood thev went at it hammc
and tongs. until everything shatt,rc,
again, and was seriously afraid O
n crowd collecting in front of IN
house. But the end was near. NJ
aunt being of an investigating turn q
mind, was dcsirons of fading on
whether the exertion of talking S
load was not injurious 10 my wife
So
I "Does not talking so loud strai
!. your lungs?" said she in an uahealtht
hoot, for her voice was not so music
al Ms it was when she was young
1T is an eSertion," 'saricicd IN
wifo.
"Then Why do yoa do it9 Was ii
answer. .,ga
"Bocanso hecause lyon oan't hea
me If don't' sqla'lea my wife. -
l. What" my aunt fairly rivaling 4
engine whistle this time.
J. began to think Of evacuatiny tn
premises, and looking arounl, an
. seeing John gone, I stepped into tll
parlor, and there he lay Hat on hi
back, rolling from side to siIe, wit
, his fists pol;ed into his ribs and
/ most agonizing expression of count,
: nance, but not uttering sound.
Immediately and involunt 'rily assnr
, ell the same position on the foo
, and | think from the relative positio
of our heals and boots and orr cl
, deavor to restrain onr laughter, NJ
poplexy must have inevitably euspe,
: il n horrible groan which John ga'
| vent to in his attempt to snppre'
. his risihility, had not betrayed o.
+ hiding place.
In rushed my wife and my ann
who, by this time comprchcnded Il
. Joke: and such a scoldlng rs l the
D got never got before, and hoi
| never to get again.
F! know not what the end mig|
/. have been II John In his en,leavor
!. appear respectful and sympathcti
had not given vent to such diabc
e ieal noise, something between gro;
Y and horse laugh, thatall gravity "
4 a