davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1864-03-31
Sound OF, the Goose.

A bashful gentleman of Holly Springs
Mississippi, took violent hankering"
after fair seamstress of the town, and
after a great deal Of hesitation, finally
brought his courage up to the sticking
point, and made all evening called on the
lady He found her busily engaged at
her work, pressing offa garment with
tailors's goose. She however, received
him very courteously, and continued her
work. A bevy of the seariistress' female
friends dropped in a few minutes after
onr heroic friend had subsided into silence
for, he found it absolutely impossible to
maintain a conversation with the lady,
The sudden entrance of the visitors, in
stead of relieving, only added to his EN-
barrasment, and he sat in silepce until
his situation became painful to all, but to
none more than to himself All efforts
to draw him into conversation proved
abortive, and if became matter of serious
concern to the ladies' how to relieve the
gentleman of his embarrassment without
a catastrophe, for lie was well known to
all Of them as gentleman of great worth
bashfulness being his only frailty. The
seamstress finally got through with her
work, and called out to the negro man in
the Kitchen 4rl 3t So Gihn i' 1rG p
i" joint. 0l % ia95i io sei.o y5
"The door oponcds and stout, burly
negro stuck his head through the doorway
and said lisfo.I
II is here, missus.1
John, will you take this goose outT
Our bashfui friend sprang 70, his feet
In al instant, and exclnmedE = VA q
i"fbeg your pardon, iinadatn, for in
tradibg on you, but aPlbgo out inyselfv'
And before the lady could expiaiu7hsr
meaning 70 him, he.had gathered. his hat
and made his ext, Which was followed by
the'fiantic yells Of The girls. din sorry
TO add that little misunderstanding made
an old bachelor and ap old mvjd,
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1864-03-31

A LUCKY LEGAL FEE.-A gentleman
in Cincinnati, Ohio, states that Mr.. Mich
olas Longworth, who was in his native
State a shoemaker, practiced law on his
removal to that city, during the years
between 1904 and 1920. lie once re-:
ceived for a fee for defending horse
thief, two second hand copper stills. The
gentleman who had them in possess
sion refused to give them up, but pro-
posed to Mr. Longworth to give him lot
of thirty-three acres on Western Row
so callea--in lieu of them, proposal
which the latter, whose sanguine opinion
of Il he value of such property were ahead
of his time. gladly accepted. This trans
action formed the basis of an immense
fortune, the naked ground now being
worth over two million dollars.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1864-03-31
NUMBER l3.
A Laughable Story,

The Mobile Register ls responsible for
the following mirth provoking Incident:
For twenty-three years, old Jake Will
lard has cultivated the soil Of Baldwin
county. aud drawn therefrom support
for himself and wife, He is childless,
Not long ago Jake left the house in search
of missing cow. His route led him
through an old worn out patch of clay
land, of about six acres in extent, in the
center of which was we'll, twenty-five
or thirty feet deep, which, at some time,
probably, had furnished the inmates Of q
dlapidated house near by with water
In passing by this spot an i'll wind lifted
Jake's title" from his head and in it
tumbled.
Now Jake had always practiced the
virtue of economy and he Immediately
set about recovering the lost hat. He
ran to the well, and finding it dry at the
bottom, he unce.5d the rope which he
had brought for the purpose of capturing
the truant COW! .nd after several attempts
to catch the hat with moose, he con-
cluded to save time by going into the
we'll himself. To accomplish this he
made fast one end Of the rope to stump
near by, and was quickly on his way
down the well. 74t
b. 1t is fact, of which Jake was no less
oblivious than the reader hereof that Ned
Wells was in the old dilapidated building
aforesaid, and that an old blind horse,
with bell on his neck, who had been
turned out to die, was lazily grazing
within short distance of the we'll.
The devil himself or some other wicked
spirit put it into Ned's Uranium to have q
little fun. SO he quietly slipped up to the
horse, and unbuckled the bell-strap, ap-
preached with slow measured ting-a-ling
to the edge of the we'll. yf'f l...
g dang that old blind horse 7"
said Jake, "he's coming this way sure
and amt got no more sense than to fall in
here. Whoa, Ball." it -
But the continued approach Of the ting
q ling said just as plainly as the words
that Bali wouldn't whoa. Besides Jake
wgs at the bottom, resting, before trying
to shin it up the rope.
"Great Jerusalem" said he. "the old
ctss will be top of me before can say
Jack Robinson. Jrhoai Dang you,
Whoa"
Just then, Ned drew up to the edge Of
the well, and with his foot kicked little
dirt into it. 7, '1.l '-' ".
Z" Oh, Lord" exclaimed Jake, falling
upon his Ences at the bottom. I'm
gone now, whoa. Now I lay me down
to sleep, whoa, Ball. pray the Lord
my soul to--w-h-o-a, now. Oh! Lord,
have mercy on me-" .a.F.r 1.
Ned could hold in no longer, and fear
full that Jake might suffer from his fright,
he revealed himself.
Probably Ned didn't make tracks with
his heels from that we'll Maybe Jake
wasn't up to the top Of it in short order,
and you might think he didn't try every
night for two weeks to get shot with
his rife at Ned. Maybe not. l don't
know. But know if Jake finds out who
sent this, it will be the last squib you'll
Oet.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1864-03-31
NIexican mobility,


Late news from Europe state that Maxi
milan had arrived in Paris, and was re-
ceived at the Tuileries, on the 9th Of
March, by the Emperor and Empress.
As this is one of the first steps to be taken
by his Mexican Majesty on his journey to
the throne Of Mexico, we may soon look
for his arrival at Vera Cruz on his way
to the ancient city Of the Aztccs. There
appears to be at present lull in the
Danish war, and the big thing now on
hand is the anticipated departure of a
new made Emperor to the New World.
The rebels appear to look upon Mexico
as country which will probably afford
them arefuge when they shall have ended
their reasonable career in the United
.. States, and it Is stated that number of
; them have already made overtures to enter
the service of Macmillan the First
They have their eyes set on titles of no
blity, and as the ''Confederaey" will not
be able to set them up as Earls, Dukes,
Lords, &c, they will. gladly bow the
knee to the sovereign of Mexico. Now
that King Cotton has been dethroned, and
the hereditary right NJ lording it over
slaves has also been taken from them,
their aristocratic instincts must seek
another couhtry for the exercise Of their
chivalrous propensisies'for rule or ruin.
His Mexican Majesty it appears, has
given, them hopes of preferment in that
way, as it is reported that ohe Of their
number, DR.. Gwin, has already been
created a Duke 1t is not at ali unlikely
that when Maxinilian reaches Mexico d
regular stampede will be made for that
country for the titles of nobility which
they will expect to obtain from his Majcs-
ty. But while this programme il being
carried out in Europe, and Maxiinilian
has entered, on triumphal tour, visiting
the crowned heads previous to his depart
ure, the late news from Mexico Would
seem to give CLEAN of hope that the
Mexican people may not be ready to re-
eeive a foreign yoke, and they may yet
change the programme The French have
made no advances in the last month, and
it Is stated that they have fallen into deep
trouble with the clergy The reported
difficulties between Viduarri and Juarez
were unfounded, and the former with
other Governors, have determined to sup
port tile Liberal Government with all the
forces Of their respective States. Uraga
is Contmander-in- Chief of the Mexican
Army, and he has ten thousand men,
while, General Diez has eight thousand,
and other detached bands will, no doubt,
swell the number up to many thousands
more on the Liberal side, which may yet
prevent His Mexican Majesty from Civ
ing his wculd-be rebel subjects those titles
of nobility which they so much long for.
-Iha. Inquirer; .s
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1864-03-31
the Wood.cutter General.

The following is from the st. Louis
correspondent Of the Milwaukee Seatinel !;
~ have been profoundly interested in
studying the history of General Grant,
while u resident of this city and county,
All our readers know that this paper has
had few favorites in this war. One of
these is general Grant, whom it has never
deserted, and whom it sustained with an
unfaltering trust, when so many others
condemned him. This man has rendered
such inestimable services to his country,
that 1 have been tracing his early and
modest history here, with an interest L
have rarely felt in any subject.
Six years ago, General Grant occupied
a little farm to the southwest Of St. Louis,
he was in the habit of cutting the
wood, and drawing it to Carondolet, and
selling it in the market there. Many of
his wood purchasers are now calling to
mind that they had load of wood deliv-
cred in person BY the great General Grant
When he tnme into the wood market, he
was generally dressed in an old felt hat,
with blouse, and his pants tucked in the
tops of his boots. In truth he bore the
appearance of sturdy and honest woods
man. This was his winter work. In
summer he turned collector Of debts, but
for this he was not qualified. He had q
noble and truthful soul so when he was
told that the debtor had no money, he be-
lieved him and wonld not trouble him
again, One Of the leading merchants Of
St. Louis mentioned this circumstance. to
me. GrI .H.. ~. l. fY
From all I can learn of his history
here, he was honest. truthful, indefatiga-
ble-always at work at something, but
did not possess the knack of making
money. He was honorable, for he al
ways repaid borrowed money. His hab-
its of life were hardy, inexpensive and
simple, About his being an incbriate,
| find nothing to confirm it. On cold
day, when he brought load Of wood to
the Carondolet market. he wotild take
something to keep himself warm This,
so far as | can trace, is the foundation Of
many reports of his inebrity.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1864-03-31
'.''', ,.. AZ G. GREENE. 10 r,a,
5,n r. HOPEWEhL HEBB, ~
, -..' q G., A. THRUSTON, g..
Iina,lu. s, JASPER ROBENETTE
ipydh it JACOB .WICKARD. 20.
70 CUMBERLAND, March 25;y 1864. IIo n'

MAJOR GENERAL LEWIS WALLAcE.----
This distinguished soldierhas been placed
in command of the Middle Department,
the headquarters of which is in the city
of Baltimore. General Wallace was a
prominent lawyer in Charlottesville, In
diana, and when the war. first broke out
he raised, by his own individual exertions
the jnstly celebrated 11th Indiana Zouave
Regiment, and in months time he was
on his way to the scene of conflict. 1t
will be remembered that during the Mexi-
can war, at the battle of Buena Vista,
jeff Davis, who was then u Colonel of
Mississippi Regiment, attempted to cast
a stigman upon the fair fame of the Cd
Indiana Regiment, which really did more
fighting than all the Mississippi troops in
that sanguinary engagement. Feeling
the deep injustice of this unwarranted
imputation, Colonel Wallace, before leav-
ing the State, took his regiment into the
State House Yard, at Indianapolis. where
they all knelt down. and took the oath
administered by the Colonel. to remember
Bucna Vista. That path has been re-
ligiously kept by this gallant regiment
on every battlefield in which they have
been engaged and the watch-word, Re-
member Bueua Vista" like the battle-cry
of the revolutionary heroes, " Remember
Paoli," has struck terror to the Rebel
hearts wherever it hns rcsounded amid
the carnage, like death -knell to trai-
tors. Gloriously has that unjust insinu-
alton been wiped out, and bitter must
have been the reflections Of JEFF, Davis,
the author of this foul calumny, when the
echo of the famous battlc-cry reached his
ears over the wallof his Southern legions.
This gallant old regiment yesterday re-
turned to New York from New Orleans.
They have rc-enlisted as Veterans, and
are in for the war, determined to see it
out, and they remember :" Bdena Vista"
to the end. General Wallace highly dis
tinguished himself in many hard-fought
battles, and his appointment to his pres
ent position is well merited compliment
and he will secure the frin and united
support, and the good wishes of every
loyal citizen in bis command. .---Philadsll
phia Inquirer % ylioGl 20 7llri13f T-nia
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1864-03-31

A VEKMoNrtaoom pedler lately agreed
with Providence merchant to sell him
q load of brooms, the payment to be made
half in cash and half in goods from the
Providence mans store at cost prices -
The lbrooms we're brought in and the cash
for half Of them paid over. Nov, what
will you have for the remainder of your
bill p asked the merchant. Ii'sYou Prov
idence fellers are cute,b was the slow re-
ply; cyou sell at cost, pretty much all of
YOU, and make money; I don't know
about four goods but one article. so seein'
Ias It won't make any odds with you, 7
guess III take brooms. I know. them
like d book, and can swear to Jest what
you paid for EN- r. And 50 saying, the
pedier, reloading his brooms, jumped on
his cart ; Yith II u regular lar Vermont grin,
dHu \ M - s.f are.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1864-03-31
A Visit TO Robinson CrusOe's Island

The following interesting information
is derived from the San Francisco Times .
While the ship Golden Rocket was on her
last passage from Boston to San Fran
cisco, Captain Pendleton determined to
stop at the island of San Juan Fernan-
dez, to take in water. On the 24th of
March he arrived in the bay of st: Jo-
seph, and anchored on, the opposite side
from that, on which Robinson Crusoe
alexander Selkirk, the exiled Scotch
mah) lived. The casks were taken on
shore, and while the crew were at work,
the passengers, among whom were fifty
ladies', rambled about in different direc-
tions. The island is twenty-five miles
long BY about four in breadth The land
is very high, rising in rugged precipitous
peaks one of them called Tuncue, 3, 800
feet above the level of the sea. The
peaks are generally overhung with clouds
The valleys are exceedingly fertile; the
grass growing to the hight Of six or eight
feet Figs; strawberries, peaches and
cherries abound in their season. Golden
Rocket was there in the season of peaches;
and the valleys aud hillsides were full of
trees loaded down with delicious fruit.
Strawberries fourished best in December
and January. There are three remarka-
bic caves in the sides of the hill facing
the harbor, about thirty feet in length,
twenty-five in width, and about the same
in hight. The inhabitants now number
but fourteen, of whom Messrs Day and
Kirkaldie, from Valparaiso, are the chief
persons; they having been appointed
overseers of the island by the Chilian
Government. An immense number of
goats are running wild over the island,
and an ABUNDANCE of fish are taken on
the coast.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1864-03-31

RENTS AND LIVING IN PARIs.--The in
crease Of rents in Paris has long been a
subject of complaint, for Which there
seems to be so little remedy that the evil
rather grows. A suit of apartments in
the Champs Elysee, consisting of seven
bedrooms, two drawing-rooms, one dining
room and servants Offices. brings 30,OOO
francs ($6O0O) per annum; and the attic,
very plainly furnished, 1900 francs,
($sOO.) If you would indulge in roast
beef, you can do SO at cost of two and
sixpence per pound; in .flet, at between
two and three fralics-to cook which Goals
and wood may be bought at $40 per ton.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1864-03-31

PERr,--We have some German friends
up at Galepa. who, ih daily conversation,
use the hnglish language, but the mother
teaches her children the same German
prayer she used to repeat in her child
hood. away back on the banks of the
Rhine. One night, as little Earnest, a
precious chap of some four summers, was
quietly going through his evening prayer
he suddenly electrified and astonished his
pious mother, by cxclaiming: Ma, why
do we always talk Yankee and pray Ger
man Is God Dutchman z" -
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1864-03-31
81 tlHoe veff G 1Quh aYRh 1cii affi9
IN y Va Y n ~ \ NJ
a7ed7aoa ~ i. w. EWING TA He1

respectfully ipforns his old ffiends aud the
public, that he has again returned to his old
Stand ia Cumberland, Baltimore st., opposite
the Post Office, where he 10 associated with Ar.
q. B.MLaughlin IN his old busness--the pho
,ograpbic art: Being prepared 10 execute all
kinds OF work 10 tie finest style of the art,
no pictuses allowed to leave the gallery unless
,of The best quality. 0df lr 7 1000
Husband vile, parent, child, beothrt sister
friend, Al who love some dear dis'aut or de-
parted friend, what would you not give to
gaze again upon the features u the lvst loved
Que, Come then while you have the opportu-
ptty and get good PICTURES at low prices, the
vaiae Of which will be incaculsble 70, your
friends years 70 come; Remember delays are
dahgefoss."r Ff ~ 90 s9tli-'
Dec. 10, 1858. G 9osii Ir1 a. ul l go
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1864-03-31

A pretty Irish girl went to the post-of-
flee, few eveningt since, with letter
that had no direction on it, requesting the
clerk to send it to her sweetheart. What
is his name? inquired the clerk. 'Ah !!
replied Bridget, an sure that's just what
l don't want any one to know"
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1864-03-31

must allude Even here among the
mountains where slavery has only 4
nominal existence, and where, in cohse-
quence, labor. is honored and respected. /.
we hear something of the disgusting can't
about negro equality and ''amalgama-
tion, m Fellow citizens mark well the
man who prates to you at this time, of
stuff like that. You will surely find that
his loyalty is pretence, and his patriot
ism more than doubtful. Negroes have
been free in our sister State Of ,Pennsyl-
vania for more than generation. Have
they ever demanded or obtained social
equality there? In Massachusetts,, ne
groes have not only been free for three
fourths of a century, but for a'large part
of the time have enjoyed equal political
rights with the whites, including that of
suffrage. Is there solitary instance
then where with all these advantages.
the negro has eter sat in the Legislature :?
Or on the Bench or in the Jury Box 2
Never, Not, one. a We will not insult
your. sense of decency,by an allusion to
the other thing beyond reminding you
that of all men, the ligoted slave-breeders
and negro traders qre the very last who
should presume ~ litter. even a echispe'-
about amalea,nation: 49,. .l,''.... ,.....
Feilow-citizens, your County Convep-
tion has conferred Upon JUS the high honor
of a, nomination as your delegates to the
Convention. 3, Itis an honor wholly un-
solicited aud unexpected by all Of us, but
ali the more highly priced, as an evidence
of your confidence in DUR integrity and
approval Of our views Upon the great
questions which are now, to be decided.
To most. if not all Of US, the acceptance
of the trust, should We be elected. and
the Convention called, will involve such
a sacrifice of our private affairs as only
the MAGNITUDE of ouf interest at stake,
and our gratitude for the confidence re-
posed III us, w6IM warrant us to make.
The short period Of time hetween this and
the election, and the pressure of bur own
private business, as you well know, will
probably prevent us from the customary
canvass Of the county in person. But
the issues involved in the election are all
widely known, and thoroughly under
stood At this hour, no man needs to be
instructed in them, and probably every
mans mind is made up as to the course
he will pursue. 1t is only necessary,
therefore, for us to say, that if we are
elected to the Convention, Allcgany
county will be represented honestly and
faithfully in accordance with. the views
set forth in this paper .l5, ~, "'1..' ..., {, !"
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1864-03-31

A GENTLEMAN during the late frosty
weather was surprised to see his little
daughter bring home from the Sunday
school library grave treatise on Back
sliding" % My child" said he," this is
too old for you you can't make anything
of it. "Iknow it papa" was the artless
reply, but thought I could when l
took it. | thought it would teach me
how to slide backwards"
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1864-03-31

A CATHOLIC PRIEST KILLED.-On Fri
day night Rev. John Thomas Feales, for
eight years minister of the Catholic
faith, fell from the window of his room in
Nashville, Tenn, his head striking the
hard ground; causing instant death. lie
was born id New York city. He was q
man of excellent character.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1864-03-31

trAnILIrY OF DRAFTED Mry,--Provost
Marshal Fry published the decision of So
licitor Whiting, last year, that any man
who leaves his residence and is drafted
during his absence, if the notice be left
at his last residence, can be. arrested and
shot as deserter. The government
overruled this decision last year, but it
seems to be reriyed now. ir'aIj sa.31i
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1864-03-31

'1F I keep on dyeiug my wihskers.
they'll draft me, as under 49," said a
perplexed citizen; land if l leave off
dyeing 'em, Polly won't have me. Any
how, calculate I'm in tarnation fix, for
I hate fighting, and can't give up Polly
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1864-03-31

CoNNEorIcur's QuorA FULL.--It is true,
as stated, that Gonnecticut's quota is full
under all calls. The corrected records
of the War Department show an excess
of some 1900 beyond the last and all
previous calls, and no draft will take
place in that State
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1864-03-31

Two old gentleman Of our acqpaint,
ance were complimenting each other OH
their habits of temperance.
Did you ever, neighbor." said one,
"see me with more than 1 could carry p
"No, indeed" was the reply, "but !
have seen you when I thought you had
better gone twice after it,"
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1864-03-31

"1IAvE the jury agrced?" asked ajudge
of the Court, Of an attachec whom he met
upon the staifs with bucket in his hand
"Yis," replied Patrick, "they have agreed
to send out for half gallon %
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1864-03-31

"sly Son." said 4spriggles, senior to
Spriggles, junior, thinking to enlighten
the boy On the propagation of the hen
species, "my son, do you know that
chickens come out of eggs? ?" "Do they 2"
said Spriggles, jr., Il thought eggs come
out Of chickens" Thus ended tho first
lesson. fs-r.. ...rrHr.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1864-03-31

THE old perfect of Aeras said "God
created Bonaparte and then rested" -
'Would to heaven God had rested little
sooner" remarked Count Louis Of Mar
bonne. ..r ..ft. E. l+.r .ft+
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1864-03-31

A DUrcnMAN's hoart-rending soliloquy
is described thus "She loves Shon Nick
lie so peter as I, because he has got COO
pie tollars more as has,"
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1864-03-31

AT thirty, we are trying to cut our
names, in big letters, upon the walls Of
this tenement Of life; twenty years later.
We have carved 1t or shut pp our jack
knife.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1864-03-31
Eresco Painting!!
FREDERICK, MD.

H. r.. DE9RING
respectfully informs the citizens Of Cnmber
hand aud vicinity that he 10 prepared TO or
nament CHURCHES, HALLS, RE-
SfDENCES, &C., in fresco, ehcaustic and oil
colors in the most artistic styles, Best ref
erences given 'as to the ability Of the above
ns named. rdersi promptly responded to-
Tt cheap and all work warranted. -ii
Jan. IA; l864-n. M "a nm