Orleans independent standard. [volume] (Irasburgh, Vt.) 1856-1871, 1864-06-10
My Cruelty to My Relatives.

me to the wckedness, but | said to my
wife on the day defore my ancient rela-
tive's arrival:
my dear, you know Aunt Mary is
coming to-Eorrow. Well, l forgot to
mentio1 rather annoying circumstance
With regard to her. She is very deaf
and although she can hear my voice, to
which she is accustomed, in its ordinary
tones, yet you will be obliged to speak
extremely loud in order to be heard. 1t
will be rather inconvenent, but know
you will do everything to make her stay
agreeable.
Mrs. S. announced her determination
to make herself heard if possible.
I then went to John T., who loves a
Joke about as we'll as any person living /;
told him to be at my house at P. NJ. on
the following evening, and felt compara-
lively happy.
While coming from the depot in the
carriage with my aunt, said
"My dear aunt, there is one rather
annoying infrmity which Anna has.
She is very deaf, and although she can
hear my voice, to which she is accustom-
ed, in its ordinary tones, yet you will be
Obliged to speak extremely loud to be
heard. am sorry for it."
Aunt Mary, in the goodness of her
heart, protested that h e rather liked
speaking loudly, and that to do SO would
afford her great pleasure.
The carriage drove up. On the steps
was my wife-in the window was John
T., with face as unutterably solemn as
though he had buried all bis relatives
that afternoon. l handed out my aunt
she ascended the steps.
II am delighted TO Sc you !" shrieked
my wife, and the policeman on the oppo-
site sidewalk started, and my aunt near
ly fell down the stoop.
kiss me my dear" howled Aunt
Mary, and the hall lamp clattered, and
the windows shook as with fever
ague. looked a; the window-John
had disappeared. Human nature could
stand it no longer. ! poked my head
into the carriage, and went into strong
commissions.
When l entered the parlor, my wife
was helping Aunt Mary to take off her
hat and cape, and there sat John with his
face of woe.
There was silence for the space of five
minutes-the ladies evidently rallying
their voices for a talk.
Suddenly. Did you have a pleasant
journey p went off my wife like pistol,
and John nearly fell from his chair.
Rather dusty" " was the response in
a war hoop andiso the conversation con-
tinued.
The neighbors for blocks around must
have heard it. When was in the third
story / heard every word plainly.
In the course of the evening, my aunt
took occasion to say to me:
"How loudly your wife speaks, ALL
Don't it hurt her p
/ told ner that all deaf persons talk
loudly, and that my wife, being used to
it, was not affected by the exertion: and
that Aunt Mary was getting along very
nicely with her.
Afterwards my wife said privately:
"Alf, how loudly your aunt talks"
"Yes,'' said, call deaf persons o.
You are getting along with her finely
she hears every word you say;" and l
rather think she did.
Elated by their success at being under
stood, they went it hammer and tongs, till
everything on the mantle piece clattered
again, and l was seriously afraid of a
crowd collecting in front of the house.
But the end was near. My aunt, be-
ing of an inquiring turn Of mind, was de-
sirous of finding out whether the exertion
of talking so loudly was not injurious to
my wife. So-"Doesn't talking SO loud
ly strain your lungs ?" said she in an {
unearthly hoot, for her voice was not SO |
musical as when it was younger.
1t is an exertion !" shrieked m y
wife.
"Then why do you do ?" was the
scream.
acknowledgements can't hear if ,
/ don't p squealed Mrs. Alf.
"What ?" said my aunt, fairly rivaling
a railroad whistle this time.
| began to think it time to evacuate
the premises, and looking around and
seeing John had gone, slipped into
the back parlor. There he lay, fat on ,
bis back, with his feet in the air at right I
angles to his body, rolling from side to i
side with bis fists poked into his ribs, I
having most agonized expression Of ,
but not uttering sound. ,