Mineral Point weekly tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1859-1868, 1864-02-10
All SprtS of PARAGRAPHS,

All Sorts of Paragraphs.
- Moving for new trial-Courting Sc
cond wife.
- Why is John Bigger's boy larger than
his father? Because lac is a little Bigger.
Tobacco of good quality from Maryland
seed has been raised in California.
over one hundred thousand veterans
have re-enlisted since the first of October
last.
- Do one thing at a time-that's the rule.
When you have done slandering your neigh
bors, begin to say your prayers.
- If woman has a heart she should new
er suffer it to lie in her bosom as dead capt
tal-it ought to circulate and pay interest.
Why is a minister like 4 locomotive
Because we have to look out for him when
the bell rings.
An old topper SAYS the two most precious
things now included in hoops are GIRLS and
kegs Of whiskey
Solomon advised the sluggard to go to
the ant Ia our day, the sluggard has to go
to his uncle"
If Brigham Young should lose one of his
sixty wives, would he be a wiuower? Not
enough so to hurt much, We should say.
-Thalberg, during the years 1862 and
1868, made by giving concerts no less than
sixty thousand dollars.
4 Young gentleman says he thinks that
young ladies who refuse good offers of mar
riage are too No-ing by half
In the march OF life don't heed the order
of right about y when you know you are
about right.
Some say that the formation of the In
valid Corps it without warrant of law. If it
Is not illegal, how can it be invalid
Mrs. Partington wants to know why cap
tains don't have their ships properly nailed in
port, instead of waiting to tack them at sea
A philosopher who married vulgar but
amiable girl, used to call his wife brown su-
gar because, hc said, she was sweet but un
refined.
- Mr. Smithers how can YOU sleep so
The sun has been up for two hours" We'll,
what If he has (hiCcup) lie goes to bed at
dark while I'm on a bender till midnight
A married monster said that he lately
dreamed that he had an angel bv his side but
upon waking up found that it was nothing but
his wife.
An ED bachelor being told that Young
man of his acquaintance had just got mar
red Alas ;" said he, "what a pity it is
one should come to misfortune 30 Young :"
An old bachelor says lie received has
bet of peaches this summer that looked as
though pretty girls had watched their growth
and tinted them with their bushes.
Three men went into two of the boilers
of the Rayine Coal Company at Fittston, Pa,
to clean them. While they were in, some
one accidentally turned the hot " tier into the
boilers and scalded them to death.
There is a dentist in Russia, who gets his
patients to pronounce his name, which in
simultaneously drows opt the tooth that at
hicts, carrying along with it one or two
others.
= siH feet in his boots :" exclaimed Mrs
Partington. "What will the Importance of
this world come 10, l wonder Why they
might well tell ne that he had six heads
his hat -
Swift said that the reason certain Uni
versity was a learned place, was, that most
persons took some learning there, and few
brought any away with them so it accumu-
lated
-" Has your son Timothy failed >" inquir-
ed Gubbens of Subbens, the other dav
Oh, not all, he has only assigned over his
property, and fallen backto take better posi-
ton" was the reply
A lecturer was dilating upon tllr power
OF the magnet, defying any one to show or
name anything surprising it. \ hearer de
To draw him thirteen miles every Sunday.
- What IS fame to a heart vearning for
affection and finding it not 1t is like the
victor's wreath to him who is parched with
fever, and longing for one cooling draught-
the cup Of cold water.
A genius in New Bedford is fitting I'D a
steamer for the purpose of towing icebergs to
India, where they sell for six cents perpound
Another proposes to 60 still bettcr-to fit j
screw in the iceberg itself, and thus avoid
the expense of ship building.
1t Is said that there are people in the
g Mountain District OF Kentucky so green,
that they followed wagon that happened TO
pass that way, twenty miles, Just to see
fore ones"
- sixty FOUNDER shell burst near
an Irishman in one of the trenches Pat
coolly surveyed the ruins the fragment had
made, and exclaimed, " Be jabers thim's the
fellows TO soften the wax in a mans ear =
A correspondent tells of a soldier wound
ed by a shell at Fort Wagner, He was going
10 the rear with multlated arm
Wounded bv she'll ," he was asked.
Yes he coolly answered, = / was right
under the daraed thing VIXEN the bottom
dropped out"
A rich merchant named Uogg once re-
quested a person TO bring him a load of corn
IN a stated time, which he failed TO do and
The merchant refused il. Well" replied
the WAGNER, :" YOU are the only Hogg | ever
knew 10 refuse corn"