Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1864-01-07

llm. There must be, or he would never be
the partner of such an upright man as Jonas
Crump"
Upright man. Pooh p said Kate; and
then the supper came in, AMI the subject
dropped.
At nine o'clock next morning, just as the
breakfast things hal been cleared, and Mrs.
Barford was going through her usual inter-
view with the cook, Kate, who was sitting in
the little bay-window, started quickly, AID
exclaimed:
"On, mamma Here's this horrid man
again p"
Ellen peeped over her shoulder, and said:
q think he looks, if possible, more dread
full by daylight than by candlelightP
Mr.. John Mortiboy, utterly unconscious Of
the effect he was producing, Unattached the
garden gate, and then, for the first time look
ing up, nodded shortly and Familiarity at the
sisters.
/" How do you do, young ladies ?" he called
from the garden. Fine morning this; fresh
and all that sort of thing | feel better al
ready. When a London mans little over
done, nothing sets him up so soon as a sniff
of the briny."
And then he took great gulp, as if to
swallow as much fresh air as possible, and
entered the house, followed by his dog.
Odd you hear him, Nelly?" asked Kate.
" The wretch! I'm sure | won't be seen
walking with him, in his nasty black clothes,
like an undertakerw
Gle has chimney-pot hat on, and has
brought his umbrella Fancy At the sean'
said Ellen.
Good morning, Mrs. Barford," said Mr..
Mortiboy; domestic arrangements, Ell?
understand. If you've no objection, I'll do
myself the pleasure of cutting my mutton
with You to-day And mutton it will be, |
suppose Can't get any beef here, [ under
derstand, except on Friday, which is killing
day for the barracks. Bad arrangement that
wants alteration"
Hadn't you better alter it, then, Mr.. Nor
tiboy?" said Kate experimenting the
butcher will be pleasant way Of spending
your holiday"
"Joking, miss, e.: Well, don't mind.
But amt you coming out, young ladies, for a
mouthful Of air? suppose the old lady don't
move so early"
If you refer to mamma" said Ellen, fri,
gidly, "she never goes out until Just before
dinner
"Ah, | thought not. Old folks must wait
until the air is what they call warmed by the
sun. But that won't hinder our taking &
| andOs?"
| eff, as | presume, you mean Mr.. Sandman
the gentleman who was here last night, can
not inform you, Mr.. Mortiboy," said Kate
with very flushed face, and a slightly trem
bling voice; "but | would advise you not tc
let him hear you joking about him, as he is
rather quick tempered"
ooh, indeed" exclaimed Mr.. Mortiboy-
q 4 fre-eater, is he ? Well, there's no duel
| ling now, you know. any nonsense Of tha
sort-giye a man in charge of policeman
| or summon him before a magistrate, and get
him bound over"
Just at this moment Mrs. Barford came in
and told the girls to get their hats on anC
show Mr.. Mortiboy the prettest spots in the
village the Castle Hill the ruined Abbey
and the Smuggler's Leap. To these places
they went Mr.. Mortiboy discoursng the
whole way of the badness of the roads, anC
of what improvements might be made if they
had Il properly constituted local board o.
health at Penethly; declaring that the cries
of "bIilford OYSTERS" and "fresh haddick,
were. entirely unconstitutional and illegal, as
no one had right to shout III the public
streets that there ought to be proper stands
| provided for the car-drivers and that a regu
lar police supervision was urgently demanded
| He did not think much of the Abbey ruins
and he laughed in scorn at the story of the
Smuggler's Leap. As they were on then
| homewari way, coming around the Castle
| Hill, tiicy met Mr.. Sandman, very ruddy anC
| fresh and shiny, and with couple of towels
in his hand. He took off his wide-awalle a:
he approached the ladies, and bowed slightly
to Mr.. Mortiboy.
"Ah, Mr. Sandman" said Ellen, with an
admonitory finger, "you have been bathing
again by St GATHERINGS Rock, after all the
warming we gave you"
Ny dear Ellen" interpoSed Kate, with a
petulant air, chow can you? If Mr. Sand
ham chooses to risk his life after what he has
been told, it surely is nothing to us!'
Now, Miss Kate, that's not fair p said
Sandman; "you know" he added, dropping
his voice. g that every word of yours would
have weight with me, but the tide was slack
this morning, and really there is no other
place where a swimmer can really enjoy q
bath You are a swimmer, Mr.. Mortibov %
IeS sill" replied that gentleman. Yes
I sir | can manage it. I've had lessons at
| Peerless Pool and the H0Iborn Baths, and
can keep up well enough. But don't like
it. | don't see much fun in what are absurd
ly called the "manly exercises" Twenty
years ago, young men used to like driving
coaches; now | can't conceive duller work
than holding bunch of thick, leather reins
in your hand, steering four tired horses sit
ting on a hard seat, and listening to the con-
verSatOn of an uneducated coachman. | new
er ride, because | hate humping up and down
on hard saddle and rubbing the skin off my
body; l never play cricket, because in the
hot weather | like to keep quiet and cool,
and not toll in the sun; and as to gcing out
shooting and stumping over miles of stubble
in September, Juggling a big gun and firing
myself to death, l look upon that as the pur-
suit of maniac [ am a practical man."
you are indeed" said Kate, as she
dropped gradually behind with Mr.. Sandman,
and left the practical man and her sister Ell
len to lead the way to the house 1t is I'm,
necessary to recount the sayings and doings
of Mr.. John Mortiboy during the next few
DAYS. 1t is enough that he spent the greater
portion of them with the Bartord family, and
that he so elaborated his ideas of practicable
ty, and so inveighed against everything that
was absolutely useful in a mercantile point OF
view-including in a measure, art, poetry
music and the domestic affectiOnS-that he
incurred the unmitgated hatred of the young
| ladies, and even fell to zero in Mrs Barford's
estimation.
1t was about the fifth morning alter the IN
trusion of this utterly incongruous element
| into the society of Albion Villa, that Ellen
and Kate strolled out Immediately after
breakfast with the view of escaping the ex
pected visit of their prosecutor, and made
| their way to the Castle Hill. The night hac
/ been tempestuous, and from their window:
they had noticed that heavy sea was run
ming: they consequently were not surprised
to see little group of people gathered OF
the heights looking towards St. Catherine:
Rock: a huge mass Of granite surmounteG
by an old ruin, round which, when it was in
sulated at high water, the tide always SWEEP
with peculiar and dangerous swirl. Blu