The Burlington weekly hawk-eye. [volume] (Burlington [Iowa]) 1860-1876, 1864-07-30

1or " tneA 20 Goop with my lace toward
ore VIII, the other complained; 4, I -slep
|ion wy back q with my face to the ground
manner until Lost my patience, and tolt
them there was only one, thing to b done
ana that WaA, they must take me each by,
LEG and pull away till they divided me be
tween them. I had no sooner spoken. thaI
thAy took me at my word. They seixsd n,
~ the feet and began to pull away With a
their strenGth, each trying g outpu11 u.
osnes: in this extremity could only
And I was s7tricetsd; but such Wss III s.
laughing, jeering, and hooting ct the sim
|Pleton who had thus given himself nh e
bis wives, that had to dy from my coun.
ny, and now I am here . beggar. Ny
oountrymen have ever since, even MP tc
n3ston ,nss dsy' spoken Of me ~ the Great Sim.
This story having been told, ths third
man, q the request OF the judge, related
Z II married, 1t aboutthe age Of twenty, a
'I1c6 young woman; bot, instead Of adding
to her wealth. by trading, or following
some lucrative cosirse of life, did nothing
until our money was all gone. Then, b.
ing compelled BY hunger, and touched BY
the position and entreaties Of nv wifi. i
went to work. labored all the tlay IN q
Tich mans garden, and with my earnings
bought q small quantity Of rice and re-
turned home. Mywife baked three cakes
OF the rice, and we sat down TO eAt them,
when a. dispute arose between us as to
which had . right to two. / said that
ought = get two, ~ I had toiled all day
ana earned them all; my wife maintained
that she ought to get two, NJ she had
brought with her 20 much money and had
FED me 80 long, and had besides to make
and bake the cakes, both OF US were obsti-
to an equal div ision. At 7ength nv wife
hit upon plan. She proposed that we
shouid at ~ The cakes, and whoever spoke
GS1t shonld get only one. agreed and ve
eat mp all night without speaking. About
daybreak ] fell Aal6ep quite Wesried. and
% did my wife but we rose soon and
looked n our cakes and remained oilont.-
we did NOT sit much longer in this manner
but both tainted. Shortly aiter this. 0ur
neighbors, seeing Our door closed and hear.
ing no voice or sound Of atirring within,
came and knocked. As they received no
answer they broke open the door, and
found ~ lying apparently dead but warm.
50 tancytng az to be actually dead, they
made pile Of wood and placed 10 on it,
FIRE was Get to the pile and most unfcrtu-
nately just underneath me. lt burnt the
wood oh my side ofthe pile 80 quickly thar
the best fouoed eat once; and jumped
up with aloud cry of "Oh r. In tie ne1t
moment my wife started mp and cried out,
: All, you get only one cake r. Our neigh.
bors were surprised at this performance Of
he cospoe6; but when my wife, in great
Blee, ooasted Of her victory and explained
herself, they laughed At NJ uproarously.
md told ID that We Were both Of u the
gteetest sfmpletons they sveT heard of.
:. The Judge settled the question Of the
|hToo oimplotOns thus-s.YouA are really |
'hree vary great simpletons, and it is not
.asy to decide which Of you ought TO get |
he bow. The ant, however, suffered not
My from his folly, but On account Of his |
ote, and because he bad not observed the
approach Of the doctor with the red.hotI
son hook. The second suffered because he |
mistake, and his wives took |
3njos4 adv antage Of it. But the third suf. |
cred starvation, solely because OF hin fool |
ehness, and y therefore the greatest sim-
,leton. In the present quarrel however. |
~ three have been equal simpletons in |
ighting for 30 WORTHLESS thing . . pass
ng strangers bow.-AutAe Year Round.