The mountain Democrat., 1864-06-18
Prom the Californian.
HOwlInE as one OF the Fine Arts.

Of the fine arts we have no preliminary
apologies to offer, no excuses to make
Only the captious few 6nd-fault with De
Quincy for his famous Essay on Murder,
and surely bowling has quite as many
claims to the distinction Of being classed
in the same category with music, painting
and sculpture as ever murder had more,
if anything. For the texts are so numcr-
GUS and so va,icd-it is possible to howl
in so many different keys, slightly modu-
lating them to suit circumstances, and by
iudicious bowling the adept can achieve
such wonderful successes in life-that
without further preamble we shall at once
assume the classification to be correct, and
boldly proceed to srapple with our thesis.
The bowler, like the poet, is born, not
made-he has to be borne, for unfortun-
atcly he is one Of those vague nuisances
not always indictable under municipal
law. lie comes bowling into the world,
he goes bowling through it, and bowling
lv out OF it-and il he docs not howl sub
Srqucnllv. it is only because singular
inattention TO the preservation Of the
unitirs" obtains in the realms of shadows.
NO pent up Utica or Syracuse contracts
his pcwcrs;" all fields arc open to HIM,
but politics is his avoritc one. On the
stump he is at home rancOrouS debate is
his element. Argument is unknown to
him, and with Reason he has only dis
tant acquaintance rot sufficient to war
rant her IN recognizing him; and as he
does not rccog we her, the cut may be
considered mutual Generally ignorant,
he makes up for his lack of education by
vitupcration. Personalities are his forte
-or,as he is generally Occur led in throw
ing dilt, perhaps we should cali them his
rarthworks. lfLy any Of the unfortunate
accidents Of life he comes TO edit news
paper, he evinccs on every page an un-
scrupuiouSnc>s which is only cqualcd by
his diSr, gard of grammar and the decen-
cics of the profession. The only enter
prise he displays in that profession is
shown in his dispensing with proof
reader, and cndravoiing TO force people
to buy newspaper without any news,
simply for cnc eternal howl Previous TO
the present rebellion, before he had the
opportunity of rrostitutlng patriotism by
making of 1t cock.hor>e upon which to
ride into popularity, if engaged in dis
cu>sion he would wind up by saying
something disrespccllul o; his opponents
family-prrhaps by calling ones sister
names This. in the aute->cccssion days,
was his logic But he has changed all
that row 1t is quite as easy TO cry out
to the respectable loyaISts who goes
quietly along in the path Of duty, lending
aid to his country, arms by works and
words, and unosicn>ibly dropping what
dollars he can spare into the Sanitary
Fund hoX-it is quite as easy to call this
man "SrCE>n!' as it was Of old 10 say
something abusive about his family rela-
/ iions-ani it pays better, if people can be
/ uadt to believe it. In those good old
| Salem times, when witches were bound
at the stake aud Qnakcrs were made to
quake with zeal which passed the aspen.
| like requirements Of their peculiar faith,
any quantity of losels made themselves
reputation by accusing their grandmoth-
. cIS oi practi ing Sorccry, and whispering
in the ready ear of IA sensitive Puritan
pubic that the tails of III, il; grandlatherS'
coats were pcrceptihly widening and the
brmS of their carcrS yi>ibly broadening.
In the present day very similar practice
is coming to tie adopted by persons Of
a doubtful positions and loyaIty-with
I variations. it is true, but in this case We
are not iuclincd to be thankful for the
variations. The man detected in the act
of stealing out from an area door or a
basement window with spoons in his
hand, and pursued, is very apt to pocket
the spoons and join in the hue and cry,
the widest and madest Of all in the race.
crying after men who have never made
boast Of their honesty, but whose oncsty
has never been suspected, stop thiefl"
Why sill men be noisy and fierce who
have M other claim to distinction? Per-
hapS We have answered the question in
asking it. Sun, for all that, we hold TO
the idea that the assassination Of man
does not chtitic the Assassin to travel on
being a hero, any more than having been
in the veterinary business makes one
veteran. Fields are now open to the am
oitiouS mind glorious fields, fields Grim
son with blood split in the viudicaton of
righteous cause; why do not people
who evince on all occasions reprehen-
sibc desire to achieve an uncnviable and
certainly inglOriuuS EotOIiety by doing
something or killing somcbody-why do
not these people seek these fields where
50 much good fighting is going on? Is it
because the chances Of getting bullet
planted in their backs are about equal to
the opportunities they would have Of
lodging bullets in the breast bones Of 9th
CTS?
We are content to believe in the loyal
ty Of our ncighborS, and to assume pa.
triutiSm Of them until they prove by some
act that they possess it not-always pro.
lided that tncv do not howl. Let n man
once show an intention of cutivatlng
lluwlins as the finest OF the Fine Arts, of
bringing it down, in fact, to the limits of
an exact science ard Of making it the
business and profession Of his life, taking
patriotism aS his text, and that moment
we suspect that he has none. Hollow
bodies always emit the most sound
Strike the he'd rocl; with pick and it
scarcely echoes, but the tin pans aud pots
IN the miners back kitchen keep up an
eternal rattling even when no one is using
them and only the wind stis them their
own wind ut that. The shell without q
drop of salt water in it affects the roar
and mnrmur of the sea. The full purse
of gold is as silent rs the quartz vein
whence it comes, but the pocket where
only a few scattering pennies lie is for ever
a.jinglng. When it becomes necessary
for every man in the community to sit on
the curh-Stone, turning a discordant bar
rel.organ and bearing on his breast a huge
board wherton is written in large letters
| AN HONEST, then we will throw aside
modest reserve and consciousness and out
howl the Howler par excellence of the
coast, be he whom he may; until then,
..hnn nafriOti H.