davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22
Philosophical Facts,

Sound travels at the rate of /, 154 fee
In the air; 1850 in water; Ii, ,096 ii
cast iron; 10000 in glass; and from 4,
63S to $4,000 in wood.
Mercury freezes at % degrees Fshren
heit, and becomes solid mass maleable
under the hammer.
The greatest height at which visible
clouds ever exist does not exceed ten
miles
Air is about SIG times lighter than wa
ter.
The pressure of the atmosphere upon
every square foot of the earth amounts to
3,l6S lbs. An ordinary sized man, sup
posing his surface to be fourteen square
feet, sustsins the enormous pressure of
40, 149 lbs
Heat rarifes air to such an extent that
it may be made to occupy $500 times the
space it did before.
The violence of the expansion Of water
when freezing, is sufficient to cleave a
globe of copper of such thickness as to
require force of $4,000 pounds to pro-
duce the same effect,
During the convention of ice into wa
ter, 40 degrees of heat are absorbed.
Water when converted into steam, in
creases in bulk 1900 times.
One hundred pounds of water of the
Dead Sea contains 45 lbs of salt.
The mean annual depth of rain that
falls at the Equator is SO inches.
Assuming the interior of the earth in
creases uniforml y as we descend at the
fate Of one degree in Al feet, at the
depth of 60 miles it will amount to 4S0,-
900 degrees of Fahrenheit, degree Of
heat sufficient to fuse all known sub
stances.
The, explosive forces of closely confined
gun powder is six and half tons to the
square inch.
Hail stones sometimes fall with the
velocity of 112 feet in second, and rain
at 81 feet in second.
The greatest artificial cold ever pro-
1uced is 81 degrees Fahrenheit.
Electricity moves with greater velo-
city than light, which travels 100000
miles of space in second of time
Thunder can be easily heard at dis
tance OF 80 miles.
Lightning can be seen by reflection at
the distance of 200 miles.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22
A Very Sensible Lady.

A deaf old lady who had brought an
action for damages against neighbor
was being examined in Court, when
the Judge suggested compromise, and
instructed the counsel to ask what she
would take to settle the matter.
"What will you take ?" asked the
counsel of the old lady, She shook her
head at the counsel, informing the jury
in confidence, that she was every hard O
herin."
ellis Honor wants to know what you
will take 2" asked the learned counsel,
again, this time bawlins as loud as he
could in the car of the old lady.
think his Honor kindly" said the
ancient dame, "and if it's no iucon-
venience to him, I'll take little ale"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22
A Story of General Sherman.

! The Baltimore Clipper tells the follow
ing GA distinguished official who wa,
lately at the headquarters of Genera
Sherman, gives the following anecdote o.
the latter, in the necessity under which
he lay of sitting in judgment on certain
class of men in Atlanta, when that place
was evacuated by the citizens. Waiting
US our friend says:
"Let me give you a little incident which
took place in my presence at Sherman S
headquarters, Atlanta.
"You will remember that an order was
promulgated directing all civilians to leave
Atlanta North or South within "twelve
days" The day of its issue gentleman
entered Sherman's Office and inquired for
the General. The latter answered in
this way, very promptly
81 am General Sherman.
"The colloquy was very nearly as fol-
lows:
"Citizen-G eueral am Northern man,
from the State of Connecticut; have been
living at Atlanta for nearly seven years I;
have accumulated considerable property
here and as | see that you have ordered
all citizens to leave within twelve days, |
came to see if you would make an excep-
ton in my case. | fear, if leave, my pro-
perty will be destroyed
General Sherman-'What kind of
do you own, sir? Perhaps |
viii make an exception in your case sir.
"Citizen-T own block of stores,
three dwellings, plantation two miles
out of town, and foundry
General Sherman-'Foundry, eh
what have you been doing with your
foundry? ?
"Citizen-'Have been making castings
General Sherman-'What kind of
castings Shot aud shell, and all that kind
of thing?'
"Citizen-'Yes. 1 have made some
shot and she'll
General Sherman-'You have been
II aking shot and shell to destroy your
country, have you you still claim favor
on account of being Northern man :
Y es, sir, | will make an exception in your
case; you shall go South tomorrow morn
ing at sunrise. Adjutant, see that this
order is carried out. Orderly, show this
man the door
"Citizen-But, General, can't l go
North 2
General Sherman-'No, sir Too ma
ny of your class are there already, sir
"Scanning the above, who docs uot once
more recognize the great military leader
rs eminently the right man in the right
place, in dealing with the more subtle as
1ects OF the Rebellion ?"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22
A Sharp Order.

Major General Butler has issued the
following spicy order, which sufficiently
explains itself:
Special Orders, No. 372.-III. David
b. White, late Major of the Slst New
York Volunteers, who left the SER
vice cannot be elected sutler in this De-
paItment. Field officers leaving the ser
vice voluntarily cannot take the place OF
boot blacks here. If they have no more
respect for the service which they left,
they will find that officers here have
David B. White, will at once leave the
Department
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22

The Rev. Henry Ward Beecher in his
evening sermon last Sunday wsek, re-
terrrya to the rebels arming their slaves
in the following manner:
"But, we are asked, what if they shall
be armed against us in this terrible war
To arm the slave is to destroy slavery,
and that is to destroy the fatal element in
Southern Society-their aristocracy. and
with the destruction Of this element we
destroy the cause of the rebellion. Let
us pray they may arm their slaves: But
it can scarcely be. The very proposition
is a death symptom. 1t is not an argu-
ment Of coming strength, but Of present
weakness Many desperate sickness can
be cured if the patient had constitution
enough to bear up under it and Withstand
the medicine he takes and there is not
enough stamina in the Soath to Withstand
four hundred thousand black soldiers in
their midst
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22

The following is the advice of an ex-
amining Judge to young lawyer, on his
admission to the bar:
"Sir it would be idle to trouble you far
ther. You are perfect and will dimiss
you with a few words of advice, which
you will do well to follow You will find
it laid down as maxim of civil law nev-
er to kiss the maid when you can kiss the
mistress. Carry out this principle, sir,
and you are safe. Never say boo to a
goose when she has power to lay golden
eggs. Let your face be long and your
bills longer. Never put your hand in
your pocket when anotheris handy
Keep your conscience for your own pri-
vate use, and don't trouble it with other
mems matters. Look as wise as an old
owl and be as oracular as town clock.
But above all get money; honestly if you
can, my dear sir, but get money. | vel
come you to the bar.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22

The sporting world will read with graf
i6cation the annexed dissertation by Josh
Billings, which he calls Hoss Talk:
"The pedigree IL not important for a
fast trottin hoss; jist hold them back
hard, and holler them ahead hard, that's
awl A hoss will trott the fastest down
hill, espeshilla if the breachen brakes
Kuller is no kriterion | have seen aw-
full meen hosses of awl kullers, except
green never Gee mean one of this
kuller. Hoses live to an honorable old
age, and have often seen them that ap-
peared fully prepared for deth. Heath
ins are always kind to hosses; it iz only
among Christian people that hoss has to
trott mile heats in hot da, for 25, 900
dollars counterfeit mummy"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22
The Dew-Drop and the Stream.

The following beautiful lines, which we
find in a newspaper, are said to be the pro
duction of a servant girl from Devonshire.
The brakes with golden flowers were crowned
And melody was heard aronnd-
When ne'er the scene, dew-drop shed
II. luster on a vioIet's head,
And trembling to the breeze it hung!
The streamlet, as it rolled along,
The beauty of the morn confessed,
And thus the sparkling pearl addressed:
"Sure, little drop, rejoice we may
For all is beautiful and gay;
Creation wears her emerald dress,
And smiles in all her loneliness.
And with delight and pride see
That little flower bedewed by thee
Thy luster with a gem might vie,
While trembling in lis purple eye."
"Aye, you may well rejoice, tits true"
Replied the radiant drop of dew
You viii, no doubt, as on you move,
To fiocks and herds blessing prove.
But when the sun ascends on high,
Its beams will draw me towards the sky;
And must own my little power
I've but refreshed humble flower"
"Hold :" cried the stream, "nor thus repine-
For well It's known Power divine,
Sabservient to His will supreme,
Though small thou art, Il that allow,)
No mark of Heaven s contempt art thou
Thou hast refreshed an humble flower"
And done according to thy power"
All things that are, both great and small,
One glorious Author formed them all
This thought may all rePinings quell;
What serves his purpose serves him well.
Cal c. Advocate.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22
Singular Crime.

A curious case before the United States
District Court, which was in session in
Auburn last week, was that of Lyman
North, Postmaster of Allegheny Coun-
ty, convicted of removing the stamps from
letters dropped in his office and then de-
stroving the letters. The remarkable
thing about this petty thieving is that
North is go years of age, is worth $40, 600
and previous to his detection had borne a
good character He pleaded guilty, and
was sentenced to stay in the Rochester
Penitentiary one year besides paying a
fine of So, 1000.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22
Money.

Men work for it, fight for it, beg for it,
steal for it, starve for it: lie for it. and
die for it, And all the while, from the
cradle to the grave. Nature and God are
laundering in our ears, the solemn ques-
tion-"Wh hat shall it profit man. if he
gains the whole world and lose his own
soul 2" This madness for money is the
strongest and lowest of the passions it is
the insatiate Moloch of the human hear,
before whose remorseless altar all the f.
ner attributes of humanity are sacrificed.
1t makes merchandise Of all that is sacred
in human affections; and even trafics In
the awful solemnities of the eternal
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22
DOos pits, agriculture sdenee 1orap
sTRoUDsBURG, MONROE COUNTY, PA DECEMBER H. 1854
crow On

"For the first five years of my profes.
sional life,' once said a gentleman to us,
81 had to row against wind and stream
and tide" "And what did you do 2"
was our question "Do," replied he, "do?
why | rowed on, to be sure" And so
he did row on, and to good purpose too,
until he came to the open sea, took favor
able breezes, and brought his voyage to q
most successful termination, leaving be-
hind him most enviable reputation for
worth and wisdom, impressing the mark
of his strong mind and excellent charac-
ter deep and clear on the community in
which he lived, and obtaining an immor-
tality worth more than monarch's crown
in the memory of thousands. His re-
mark deserves to be remembered as
motto. The great business of all is to
Grow on" with unfinching courage and
steady perseverance. All trades and pro-
fessions have their difficulties, and almost
every individual meets with discourage
meDts- The only way, therefore, to go a
head is to ''row on" Decision of charac-
ter, determination of will, the resolution
to press on, when sure we are on the right
track or in pursuit of good and honora-
bic end, this is the secret of living SO as
to come out at last safe and sound.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22

The editor Of the Juniata Sentinel re-
lates the following telling incident:
by the way, this reminds us of a little
story, The other day, party of four
well dressed Cops came into Brant's Hall,
Harrisburg, to get drink. As they
were standing at the bar, one of them
turned to the others and said eve must
stop this-we must quit paying to the
support Of preachers-for it ia notorious
fact that all the preachers are opposed to
the Democratic Party" At this point a
gentleman who was sitting by very coolly
remarked, "Yes, Sir, and it is just as no
torious fact, that the preachers are all
opposed TO the Devil" This raised big
laugh at the expense of the Cops, amidst
which they departed.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22

An officer of very small stature but re
ry hasty temper was one day vehemently
scolding at the first soldier of his comp
any, man Of uncommon size The sold
ier for some time endured patiently and
even unconceruedly tie storm of vitupera-
tions rising up to him from his diminu-
tive chief Finding however, that in
stead of abating, the rage of his officer
went on increasing, he quietly said to his
next man, "John, go aud fetch him
stool; l believe he wants to give me
bax on the ear"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22
NO44
Important to County, City, District and
Borough Treasurers

The Auditor General has notified the
Treasurers Of each county, city, district
and borough of this Commonwealth that
they are required by an act passed during
the last session of our State Legislature
to deduct on paying any interest or divi-
dends to holders of the bonds or scrip, or
other certificates of indebtedness, OF the
corporations aforesaid, State tax amour.
ting to three mills on the dollar Of the
nominal value of said bonds, &c This
will be rather unpleasant news to such
capitalists as have been making invest
ments in the securities above named on
the strength of their exemption from
taxation.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22
Meat Preserved Many Thousand years

We have now evidence of man having
coexisted in Europe with three species of
elephant, two of them extinct, namely,
the mammoth and the cteghus anti
ruus, and third the same as that which
still survives in Africa As to the first
of these, the mammoth, | am aware that
some writers contend that it could not
have died out many tens of thousands of
years before our time, because its flesh
has been preserved in lee in Siberia in so
fresh state as to serve as food for dogs,
bears, and wolves; but this argument
seems tc me fallacius. Midendorf, in
1913, after digging through some thick
ness of frozen soil in Siberia, came down
upon an icy mass, in which the carcass Of
a mammoth was imbeded so perfect that,
among other parts, the pupil of the eye
was taken out, and is now preserved in
the Museum of Moscow. No one will
deny that this elephant had lain for seve-
raj thousand years in its icy envelope ;
and if it had been left undisturbed, and
the cold had gone on increasing for myr-
lads of centuries, We might reasonably ex-
pect that frozen flesh might continue
undecayed until second glacial period
had passed away-.Sir Chas LycH
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22
A Terrible Time.

oval, there's row over to our house"
sWhat on airth's the matter, you little
sarpint 2"
dWhy dads drunk, mothers dead, the
old cow has got calf, Sails got married
and run away with all the spoons. Pete
has swallowed pin, and Luke's looked
at the Auroro Borax till he got the delir-
um triangles. That amt all nuther.
"What else upon airth."
Rose split the batter pot and broke the
pan cakes, and one of the Maltese Kittens
got her head into the molasses cup and
couldn't get it cut, aud Oh, how hungry
/ am p
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22

The other day lady fell from of the
Brooklyn boat into the East river poor
Irishman sprang overheard and rescued
her. When she was safe on deck again,
her husband, who had been calm spec
tator of the accident, handed the brave
fellow a shilling. Upon some of the by
standcrs expressing indignation, Pat said
as be pocketed the money: "Arrah, don't
blame the jintlemau-he knows best /;
maybe if | hadn't saved her he'd have
give me a dollar !"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22
Do 1t Any How.

An officer down in Georgia tells the fol-
lowing story One night Gen - was
out on the line, and observed light on
the mountain opposite, Thinking 1t was
a signal light of the enemy, he remarked d
to his artillery officer that hole could
easily be put through it. Whereupon
the officer, turning to the corporal IN
charge of the gun, said:
"Yes. sir.'
"Put hole through it, j" ordered the
captain. The corporal sighted the gun,
and when all was ready he looked up and
said:
"Captain, that's the moon"
.sDon't care for thai" was the captain
ready response, 'put hole through II
any how"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22

4 travelling tinker vas one day e&pa-
tiating rather largely in the bar room Of a
country tavern, upon his skill in supply
ing all kinds of damaged drinking YES
sells with handles, warranted to make them
far more durable than the original ap-
pendages when be was suddenly non
plussed by war beaten old soldier, who,
poking his SCARED and noseless physiog-
nomy over the counter, bluntly inquired:
"Whst would it cost to put new handle
on my mug?"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22
Retarded Happiness.

A happy couple were lately united in
what the negro minstrels call ''the bonds
of hemlock," at Dewsbury, England
The ages of the pair and of their "best
man." united, were two hundred and
twenty years. The lovely bride of seven
ty.two had to be assisted out of the cab,
to undergo the interesting ceremony, by
two youths" aged seventy-four years
each.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22
Long sIeeo,

At the last sitting of the Paris Acade-
my of Sciences, paper was received from
DIR. Blanchet on three curious cases of
constitutional lethargic slumber. One Of
them was that of a lady twenty four years
of age, who, having slept for forty days at
the age of eighteen and fifty days at the
age of twenty, during her honeymoon, at
length had fit of sleep which lasted
nearly whole year, from Easter Sunday,
1862, to March. 1868. During this long
period false front tooth had to be taken
out in order to introduce milk and broth
into her mouth This was her only food:
she remained motionless, ,insensible, and all
her muscles were in state of contraction.
Her pulse was low, her breathing scarcely
perceptible; there was no evacuation, no.
leanness her complexion was forid and
healthy. DR.. Blanchet is of opinion that
in such cases no stimulants of forced mo-
ton ought to be employed.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22
A ,ro sl.vorv olorovm,n was RECENTLY

A pro-slavery clergyman was recently
travelling from New York to Boston
Being told that one of his fellow passen-
gers was Wendell Phillips, the noted alb
olitionist, he determined to enter into a
conversation. After few moments argu-
meut be said, "But if you are opposed to
slavery, Mr.. Phillips, why don't you 60
down South and preach to the Rebels r
"For the same reason, sir," was the reply
@that you do not go to hell to preach re-
ligion to sinners" The interlocutor
sloped.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22

The town of Mount Tabor, Rutland
county, Vermont, in 1860 gave Mr. Lin
coin 28 votes, and none for ''any other
man. In 1864 it gave 86 votes for Lin
coin. and none again for the other man.
Mr.. Lincoln gains little, it is true but
the other man holds his own wonderfully,
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22
Jones, since his marriage, has taken to

Jones, since his marriage, has taken to
talk slightly of the holy state Brown
was telling him of the death of a mutual
friends wife, whom "the disconsolate.
had courted for twenty eight years and
then married. She turned out to be a
yirago, but died two years after the we'd
ding. "There," said Jones, 'theres
luck See what the fellow escaped by a
long courtship.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22

New York east $4,000 votes at the
Presidential election. A CONSUMPTION like
that in operation in the South would pro-
duce as large a number of fighting men
In the Empire State as now defy the na-
tional armies throughout the length add
breadth of rebeldom. This fact striking
ly illustrates the almost boundless capaci-
ty of the North to carry ON the war with
the rebels in arms.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22

A new dodge in New York is for we'll
dressed and well appearing pretty young
woman to step out to you and pathetical-
Iy ask you for aid for her poor sick moth
er. You take out your pocket book, be-
ing melted by her touching story and
good looks, and just then a fellow who
has come up behind you snatches away
your pocket book and makes off.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22

It is said that the rose of Florida, the
most beautiful OF flowers, emits no fra
GRANGE the bird of Paradise, the most
beautiful of birds, gives no songs; the ey'
press of Greece, the finest of trees, yields
no fruit; dandies, the shinist of men havs
no sense and ballroom bellies, the love
liest creatures in the world, are very Of
ten ditto-oply more 90,
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22

Waltham watches and Ayers Pills are
said to be the highest specimens OF Amerl-
can art, each of heir kind: one in mechanics
and the other in medicine. With a Wal
than watch in one pocket and box O
Ayers Pills in the other, you should be at
your work in season with the health to
pursue it, Advertiser, Norway, Me. sea-
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22
OFFICIAL VOTE OF PENNSYLVANIA.

The following is the official vote by the
counties of Pennsylvania, home and sol
diers' votes included, at the Presidential
election, November s, 1864. The vote
given is that received by the elector who
polled the highest number, respectively,
which shows majority for the Union O.
lector highest on his ticket of 20,081:
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22

Saws the immortal Artemus Ward, )"
Yuma digger as much as you pleaze about
the stile of young lady's fgger, but |
tell you confdentially, if she has forty
thousand pounds, the fgger is about as
near rite as you will get it"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22

A gentleman, who recently travelled O.
yer western railroad, declared his opin-
ion that it is the safest road In the coun-
try, as the superintendent keeps boy
running ahead of the train to drive off
the cows and sheep
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22

A Maine editer says that a pumpkin
in that State grew SO large that eight
men could stand around it. This is like
the fellow who saw flock of pigeons SO
low that he could shake stick at them.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22

Two hundred and fifty women and chill
dren-not man among them-refugees
from Georgia, recently arrived at indian
apolis, Ind. They are pitiable objects,
and enlist the sympathy Of the kind
hearted.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22

A painter who was well acquainted
with the dire effects OF law had to rep
resent two men-one who had gained a
lawsuit and another who lost Que. He
painted the former with shirt on, and
the latter naked.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-22

An Irishman was challenged at the
polls in Windsor, Vt, and his uaturaiiza-
ton papers demanded. After much hes
titation he handed over "a paper that
proved to be bill against himself for two
barrels of whiskey.