The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1864-06-04
SELECTIONS.
SUCH is LIFE.
A Novel of Every Day.
ny A REFORMED sENsATIoNIsT.

A Novel OF Every Day
DY REFORMED sENsATIoNIsT.
IUnder the above title Punch 5 Pocket Book" for
1854 publishes the following capital tatire upon inc
"seDsaiion" stories of the dayl
The honeymoon was over, and the Hon.
Cbirk Gobowen and his beautiful bride, nee
Caroline de Corwan,* lounged languidly over
dinner at the Vulture Hotel, Gwymmypylly-
mynech. 1t commands view OF the lovely
lakes OF Lampeter, Bala ard Eilesmere, ana
with the triple peaks OF Snowdon in the back
ground, and the fierce ruggedness OF Mold be-
low. the scene is unequaled save in the North
American Pampas. But the young couple
needed it not.
"The worst dinner / ever ate" said Mr..
Gobowen, dscontentedly.
at is very bad, !" said Mrs. Gobowen "but
think the dinner on our wedding day was
even more disagreeable." !,
'Very good of you to say so, I'm sure,
said her handsome husband, with an evil
glance.
Il say what l mean, Chirk,' was the cold
reply. g..
III that is the case" said Mr.. Gobowen, cit
seems to me that we've been and made sort
of-well, a mistake, and the sooner we repair
it the better"
I'm agreeable" said the Hon. Mrs. Gobo-
wen with a smile.
"Blest if you are" retorted her husband I;
abut never mind that now. We had better
separate"
Separate, indeed" said Caroline, shat
would be pleasant for me, wouldn't IL? No
indeed no half measures for me-" said the
beautiful young wife, filing her glass with
what is called caret at the Vulture, or at all
events charged for as claret, and the best"
swell, what's your whole measure then ?'
asked her husband, curiously.
sour marriage was mistake All run
away marriages are. / am heartily tired of
you. have heard all your stories, and all
your travels, and-in short you bore me"
Il reciprocate the sentiment said Mr.. Cob
owen. Il have heard all your songs, and your
voice is not what used TO think it, and really
your accounts of all the publishing novels
you have ever read have their merits, but they
are nci particularly interesting. What's be
done?"
Lets destroy all evidence Of our marriage,
and 90 back into society. i am supposed to
have been on visit TO my aunt, Lady Gum
dragon. She will not dare 10 contradst me,
as know Of several murders which she has
committed to get at the title, and also the Sc
cret Of her enamel You have been - what
does it matter where a man has been?
eMy uncle, the Secretary for the Buoys and
Beacons, knows of our escapade," said Mr..
Gobowen. "because l borrowed couple Of
hundred Of him at starting, but he won't tell
because | am aware Of some forgeries he COM
mitted in order TO become minister. So all
is safe. Here's the marriage certificate. Tear
it, and I'll look in Bradshaw to see how you
can get across the country to your aunts."
"Are you fool?" said the lovely Caroline
Gobowen.
81 was one day, about month back" said
Chirk
sue was too proud to reply to the taunt, but
proceeded.
as there not a copy of that certificate in
the books of the church at Eisieddfod"
"By JoTe, yes. That's awkward"
"Not at all, if you have the ordinary cour-
age and energy of man."
81 believe have both"
"Then burn the church"
The fire in her radiant eyes seemed to light
up kindred ray in his. He seized his hat,
box OF cigar lights, and gloves, nodded to her
and departed.
Thirty-six hours later, and the beautiful
little old church Of Eisteddfod built by Owen
Glendower and famous as the scene OF the
marriage between Edward of Carnaervon and
Catherine Parr, was mass of smouldering
embers. Mr. Gilbert Scott the great eccle-
siastica architect could eat no lunch that
day, he was so shocked, and was scarcely
comforted by receiving Instructions to make
another church exactly like the old one.
81 have done IT," said the Hon. Mr.. Gobo-
wen as he re-entered the room at the Vulture,
and found his wife, as we will still call her,
smoothing her lovely hair at the glass, having
just taken of her bonnet.
"Yes, saw the fire." she replied, cody.
"Aye, it isn't my nature to be idle. ] went
after you by the next train, and ascertained
that yon might have spared that lovely little
church which wished l had sketehed."
"What do you mean?'
"The clergyman of Eisteddfod, his name is
the Rev. Morgan-ap-Jones, keeps the regis
ter books in his own house."
Mr.. Gobowen launched a fearful observa-
tion directed against the Welsh clergy gener.
ally.
- That sort OF language is of no use" said
his wife; "you should have burned the rec
tory"
"Of course would If had known"
"If," repeated Caroline Gobowen, with bit
ter sarcasm. "Stay here and smoke your c
gars. 1t is all you are fit for"
She put on her bonnet as carefully as If she
was going to meet some woman whom she
hated, and was gone.
A few days afterwards the Bangor Bangel
contained the following paragraph:
sour fair readers cannot be too caution.
what servants they engage. The Rev. Nor
gan-ap-Jones, the respected ministeri of Els
teddtod, recently engaged nursery maid
who came 10 him with the highest writer
character Yesterday she disappeared, an,
the whole of the registers of the church iron
the year 1897, disappeared also. Our one po
liceman, the intelligent and respected Davit
Williams, says he thinks it very odd, but de
clines at present TO say more. Should an,
thing transpire, our readers shall hear OF !
next month"
?" said the honorable Chick Gobowen
on the third day after, as his wife came in
with proud flash on her fair brow.
THAT is just the word" she said, 81 bough
some lead, wrapped the books in it, an'
dropped them down into the well at the bot
tom Of the garden. 1t is said to be uniathom
able"
Then the truth won't get to the bottom
OF the well, where she usually lies" SAT-
Chick.
"Not bad for you," said Caroline Cob
owen.
Thank you. But it is now my turn to asl
where are your wits? You forgot the witness
es to the wedding"
"Bother, so did" said Mrs. Gobowen.-
"Orson is endowed with reason. There wer
Mr.. Jones, the clerk, the beadle, and the pey
opener"
ale diable qadrtre," said Chick
She tapped her tiny foot impatiently i
thought.
Il could hardly escape detection at the rec
tory she said; "but If you managed the pal
son would answer for the other three"
mo, we'll divide equally like man and wife
said Chick,
Something like kindness beamed in her smil
. A la. L.