The Union. [volume] (Georgetown, Del.) 1863-1866, 1864-08-26
aeit, Atisdom, and glamoe.


Rich SToRY.-Do any of you know old
Bill Lowry2 He moved from Springfield to
some point in Minnesota, Bill is tough,
smart as a whip, keen as IA brier, but then,
like all of us fellers, Bill loves to seq the bot
tom of the tum blers at all times. Well, once
there was a Methodist revival in town. Bill
was there, and little too full of his kiad Of
spirit to hold much of the other kind. But
he sat still. At last the sermon was ended,
and after the minister came down from his
proclamation stand and said:
Now want all who love the Lord to come
forward and be prayed for" No one moved.
In minute he repeated: " Brethren and
sinners, want all who love the Lord, or
who wish to love him, to come forward on
the beach," No one moved. Then he looked
mad and spoke quick: 6 II there is man
in tnis house wno rs friend vi the Lord,
want h4in " come forward; IL lie has no
inends we wiil quit" just then Bill arose,
nltched up has trousers, and in a peculiar,
nail-sobsr voice sang out: "IIoid ON tharel
Pm, I'm I'm friend vi the Lord or any 9th
:. man who hain't MS more friends than he
pears to have in this section.
TIcur Boors.-We heard good story the
other day Of noted wag, concerning tight
bucts, which we consider too good to be lost.
Our hero had been indulging quite freely
with party of friends, and, forgetting he
had to call for his wife on his way home, he
drank rather too much, so as actually to feel
the sidewalk move up and down "leetle
too often," but at last the thought struck him
about his wife. He knew her teinper-good,
easy soul, and he did not wish to rufle 1t by
letting her know of his little 6 accident" so
he called for her, putting on a very 8 sober
face. On their way heme however, he stag
gsred; he cursed Ais tight boots, making ms
innocent wife believe, ali the while, that his
boots were the cause of his suffering. She,
wheu they arrived at home, told her devoted
Husband to take the boots off, that he would
feel better. Our wag could not stand 1t any
longer; lie roared out laughing at tue idea of
having Kept her ignorant, durng.their whole
walk, vi himself beng tight instead oi his
Doots. We know ot otner persons wno wear
the same kind vi bQ1ts once in u wnile.
Pie Result Of a Dream.--A bashful youth
was paying his add.esses ~ "a gay lass OF tue
counuJ, w4lJ ha1 io.ig despa.rc,t "a bringing
,nlngs 10 "a cr.s4s. lie cai.ed One day wnea
she was at II. me alo"e. Alter settling ,lle
merits o1 the weather, Miss sasd, IooksD5 say
~ into MS face. - dreamed Oh you last
night" "D4d you? Why, nov!" yes,
dreamed that you kissed lle " " Why, now!
what did you dream your mother sad ~
"Oal dreamed she wasn't at home A
light dawned ON tine youths intellect and
directly something was heard to cracA-per-
hups ms whip, and perhaps not, but in about
II month they were married.
CuocK FULL OF GINGERBREAD.-Are recruit
ing oihcer whispered to sweet, rosy checked
damsei, us sue was patting on hei bonnet at
the close ot quilting panty: viii you al (.
low me, Miss to accompany y"u home Z"
No, sir, I'm engaged, sa!d sue, ia loud
tone, 50 us to give notorletv 60 the trarsac-
tim. q You mss it od.gousiy," said tho
military wag, "ior have got both pockets
chock iuil ot gingerbread.
TnE PREslDENT's LATEsT.-The New York
Times says tnat gentleman, Ia conversation
with MIR. Lincyln, on Friday, remarked tnat
nothing could defeat has reelection but
Grants capture Of Richmond, to he followed
10y his NOMINATION AT Unlcagu aud acceptance.
- W ell" SAID the Predeut, 1 ieel very
much like the man vino said he dldn want
to de particularly, but ii lle AaI to die, tLat
was piec.seiy the disease lie would like to die
u1," .,tt.
BEAcK TALk-" Grow, want to ask you
"a conuniderdunI."
"Wei, Julius, succeed Isc open for the
queshun."
Can you tell me why the art of selfdo-t
fence am like the riber ut low t.deg"
No, julius, l duunt see no similaFity in
the two subjects, 50 dartor guys uAi up"
"Well, den, tell you-it is simply Dekase
it deyelopes de musctes.
Var, var! l knowed all de time what
dat was, only didn't want 70 say muffin
jiss ak me agin and see if can't told you.'
The WAY TO KEEP SECRET" How do
you do, Mrs. Diggs?" said Mrs. Cad.
e Have you heard tnat story about Mrs. Lud-
ieys" ''Why, no" replied Mrs. Diggs;
d" what is itf Do tell me- "0h, no! 1 .
promised not to tell for all the world" 'oh,
l II never opehmy mouth aDoutlt; no, never"
i" Well, if You'll believe it, Mrs. Fudty told +,
me last night that Mrs. Irot told her that
her sisters husband was told by person
chat Mrs Troubles Oldest daughter told Mrs.
Nichens that her grandmother heard by a
letter WHICH she got from her sisters secoSd
husband 3 eldest brothers step daughter out
in Australia, that it was reported by skip
per just arrived from the Fejee Islands, tlas
the mermaids wore oriaolne made OF shark
skins. tFe .r
On examining into the affairs of a London q,
bankrupt recently, h.s creditors d.seo,e4ed