davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1864-04-13
Monkey in Church.

There was once an eminent clergyman
BY the name of Cassaubon, who KEEP in his
family tame monkey, OF which he was
very fond. This animal, which was allow
ed its liberty, liked TO follow the m mister
when he went ont, bui on The Sabbath was
usually shut up I'll! his owner was out OF
sight, on bis way 10 church. But one Sab
bath morning, when the clergyman, taking
his sermon under his arm, went out, the
monkey followed him unobserved. and
watching the opportunity while his master
was speaking 20 gentleman on the steps,
ran op at the back oi The pulpit, and jump
ed upon The sounding boafd. Here he
grayely seated himself. looking round iE
knowing manner on the congregation, who
were greateiy ammuse9 az so strange .
spectacle. The service proceedee as usual,
while lhe monkey, who evidently much en-
joyed The sight oi so many people, occa-
s.onally peeped over The sounding board,
TO observe The movements OF bis masleri
who wgs unconscious of his presence.
When the serm on commenced, many lille
form. were couynised with longhier, which
conGucI 40 shoe 4 ec the good pastor, that
he thought il his duly TO administer a re-
proof, which he did with considerable ac-
lion OF his hands and arms. The monkey,
who had now become familiar with the
scene, initiated every uolion, I'LL at last
scarcely suppressed smile uPPeared upon
the countsBance OF most OF lie audisnce.
This occrrred 100 in ope Of The most
solemn passages in The discourse and so
horrible aid the ieviiy appear 10 The good
fnini-.ar, thar he launched forth into violent
rebuke, every word being enforced by great
energy OF action. All this time Ihe lillle
fellow overhead MIN icked every moment
with ardor and exacguess. The ardiaace,
witnessing the apparent competition be-
tween the good man and his monkey could
no longer retain The least appearance OF
composure, and burst into roars OF laughter,
in the midst Of which ore OF the congrega-
ION kindly relieved Inc horrSr OF the pastor
al the irreverence and impleiy OF his flock,
by pointing out The cause OF The nlerrinent.
Casting his eyes upward, the minister could
just discern The animal Standing on inc end
OF The sounding-b board, and ges,urng with
| all his might, VIXEN he found IL dIfiicaH 10
control himself, though highly exssPera:td
al The occurrence. lie gave directions 10
| have the monkey removed, and sat down 10
compose himself, and allow MS consfega.
ton ie recover their eqranimily while the
order was being ooeyej.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1864-04-13
Ghoite lDoetrp.
For the Star.
TINE Is FLEEING.

Iark, the clock in striking one,
After midnight ereets The motn,
Two is next. you'll hear :he blow
Coming fast but seeming slow.
Bat your heart is striking faster
Than the hammer ou the bell,
Minnies spent are seeming nothing
Til old age your path befe!l.
Hark again lis striking two,
Time is winging on with you,
Minutes fly, yet unperceiSed,
Hours pass, We can't retrieve.
Now the hear, is beating slower,
Strength and nerves are growing weaker,
And your lie into oblivion
Every day is growing deeper
Now The clock is striking three,
Hours are passing swiftly by US,
Ere IT again will strike may We
Feel our need OF time more deeply.
Slowly moving on 10 foor,
htuHiSo pdrsluS JOSt tHtCC sSOIoI
All ! the time is passing by Us
AS The moments swiftly ny Us.
But TO fivesour ear is called,
In the IwinkIing of thought
an your fortune you would give
If wasted time could e'er be bought.
When 10 six yonr mind il bent,
Do you iee your lime is wastingi
Hours allotted you were lent
Never to return againa
Seven, Eight. and Nine are coming,
VIII yon ever live to hear them
All your death is fast approaching,
You'll be numbered With the dead.
Ten Eleven. Twelve will end it,
Tine with sou will be no more,
Then in Joy or grief you'll gaze
Upon The days that's gone before.
Time, yes. lime's precious treasure
We should value a: our leisure
And IN lies springlime seek for knowledge
II through life we wish pleasant voyage.
TuMBLER.
AsBusy, April 2. 1861.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1864-04-13

Which was the properly was question
very neatly selIled the olher day 10y Daniel
Drew, ;he great steamboat proprietor oi
Gotham. Daniel although man OF inn
mense wealth, is an oli-!ashioned Meth
odisl, and dresses very plainly al al times
aud sometimes rather shabbiiy. Being on
one OF his owa steamers not long since, he
was accosied by passenger, who took
him for ore Of The crew, with tho iAteuog-
atory : DO you belong 10 This boat 2
'No.D said Daniel, quietly, SHE boat be-
longs 10 me y
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1864-04-13

DisLoYAL DoGs.-ButIer has issusd an or
der, in his provinces, tha; every fanrlh dog
shall be slain, and Brsadier General. at
So QUO per year, has been put al The work
The prosero dog cheap" is obsoleia in
these ereenback times. II is expensive 10
kill even dogs. But wherefore Buter's
wrath against The do gs z Are hey disloyal
Do they refuse TO lake lne oath OF allegiance!
And pray, why is he down on the fourth
dog We pity that fourth dog. Butler is
alter him. He had better had the devil or
the hydrophobis after him.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1864-04-13

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very severe cases. Over one hundred ply
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Hundreds of certificates can be shown.
Bells Specific Pills are the original and
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Insolontary Emissions, Iucontinenee, GEM
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Weakness or loss of Power, nervous De-
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rome constitutional derange and. n
eapacisatss The sufferer from fuifilling the
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id Diseases OF ;he Bidder and Kidneys,
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Xo4. 25. i663.-lyz
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1864-04-13

HINDoo WIDows An incalcuIable and
uuerable amount OF wreichedness is pro,
duced by the pindoo law, which condemns
the female 10 perpetual widowhooj, on The
death Of her husband. This is The case
even where the preliminary cermony OF be-
trolhment only has taken place. Not only
is absoinle and unoending widowhood i'm
peTaively commanded, bnl she is required
10 practice the most rigorous ansieri,es,
nad to moTiily herself as il were INTO death
"The widow shall never exceed one meal
a day, nor sleep on bed" She is required
10 observe lisid last every eleventh day,
besides many other seasons OF abstinence.
She is forbidden to lasie animal food OF any
kind, and even the one meal Of pulse, roots
and vegetables. that is allowed her, must
consis; OF such articles as can be cooked to-
selher in one pot, 10 make up single
dish.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1864-04-13

Age OF The EARTH-The Rev. Prof
Hauglion, in a paper recently read before
the Dublin Geological Socieiy, gave The re-
suit Of some computations, based on The
esnh's Tale OF cooling, 10 determine she
limits of The time during which animal life
can exist upon our globe. AS the aIbumen
of the blood coaeuIa:es at l22 degrees
Fahrenheit, he regards il as impossible that
an nal lilecan exist n an stuos phere sb, vs
that tempe at II. He there ora attempts
10 calculate the tine from the period when
the polar regions of The earth were at lem
peraiure OF i22 degrees down 10 The Period
when ihe mean temperature Of The British
Isles was II degrees, lhe latter being the
London clay erliary epoch OF topical mol
lusca. His ompulations give lhs time
between The TWO periods as l,Ols,oOO, 600
years.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1864-04-13
''Damr the Constitution. "--Aa Abolition
WaisaW0rd.

"Damn The Constitution" This profane
expression has been frequently uttered by
distinguished Abolition "Unionisls." II is
but the tecbiag forth oE the treason in the
hearts of those who affiliate with Garrison
and Wendell Philips. Gert Smith, The
noted negro philanhropist, adopts it,
Smuh, il will be remembered, was lhe 10.
Ted Abolition candidate Tor The Presidency
in 1852. In 1856 be supported Fremont,
and Lincoln ia l660 He was elected 10
and served part of term in Congress. Hs
is jealous pariizan OF the present admins
islra,ion. lie resides in Peterborough,
Madison county, New York. In an address
recendy issued 10 his "neigaboTs," Mr..
Smith SAYS:
Damn the CoIWiiuiion !'' said one in tho
hearing OF myself and several others. I
had always disIked profanity and-I had al.
every par o. it. Nevertheless this eIctama.
hon ;clS music IN my cars. Why was 1t! IL
was because OF toe connection and sprl!
IN xhich i, burst from the speaker. he Was
arguing with rapid aud iervid e!oqGence
that The government should ply every pos
sible means for he speediesl crushing OF
the rsbelhon-whea listening .Ccnse:ya.
i've threw ia the qualification :"But al! a..
cording to The Constitution ;
No wonder that ths Speaker could not
brook this interruption No tron3cr thai an
oath should leap forth 10 s.Ies' tls iadisna-
hon of his p7friotif sOu!. 1t was not contempt
for The Constitution, bot displeasure al tas
lhru,ling OF ii in has tDay. which prompted
The prophsniiy. Had it teen the Bia:e IL
set. that was thus impsriueniy ci:ed: on
oath might still hars tten fas consequence.
lis in perfect accord hat a license 10
"Damn the Constitution should be used 10
Justify ike license to damn The Biols"
a,so.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1864-04-13
oLUMBIA COUNTY. PA. WEDNESDAY APRIL l3 1864.

country, or this age, but the destiny OF The
world, and the cause of advancement .hro'-
out all time.
! The FIRST issue that presents itself TO the
mind. is the question of peace or war. And
! this is not question OF restoring the Union
1 by war, but whether the Government shall
continue vain e fforls, whose only resul, is,
and will ever be, the fru;tIess waste OF blood
and treasure, with the sole effect OF widen
ing the breach it is intended 10 close. The
issue is not whether Mr.. Lincoln shall con-
quer the South, and then rule the North by
the votes of bogus States, based on negro
bayonets-he may partially occupy States
enough during The presen. campaign 10 en-
able him TO secure his own election bv their
votes Of msn of siraw-and he may do this
under the plea of military necessity as a
means of "suppressing the rebellion" but
the South will remain unconquered, though
the liberties of the North be lost The
question is not OF conquefing the Souh.--
Every mind not blinded by prejudice or am
biiion, must see iha, by all the probahIi-
ties OF military scieuce, that is impo ossible.
The issue before The Northern people
now is, whether by a reinrn TO conserva-
tive principles peace shall be restored. or
whether The bes, energies OF ibe nation
shall be sacrificed in vain, its resources
wasted, and the fresh young blood Of its
best ard bravest hearts be poured out like
water, all TO no purpose bot to fertilize the
eoH nd s ~
ern land.
The South cannot be restored 10 the Uni
on by force. Douglas never uttered truth
more pregnant with wisdom than when he
exclaimed in oracnlar tones, war is 1is-
union ;" memorable words. uttered in one
of those suuhashes of prescience which
sometimes burst upon souis of lofty genius.
War IS d'suHion memorable ruth, which
fntrre ages will receive as an axiom, and
rePut lies will biazon on their banners as
watning against the peri;s of strife. When
all else associated with The name OF Douglas
is lost. buried amid the rubbish of time, he
will be remembered away down in The CEN
lures 10 come-those ages oi happiness
a"d prace--as the sage who standing te-
side the gnif thai was beginning 10 yawn
in the mJs. of this country, uttered The
memorable words of warning and died
with lhe noblesl thoughts OF his giant mind
fresh upon his lips, The crowning unerance
of a royal intellect WAR Is DIsuNIoN'
Yes, war is disunion. God never design
ed Republics to De cemened with blood
Like all high and noble things they partake
of The nature OF Heaven descended unlk.
whose lriumphs are all 5oodless. These
modern Uzzahs, who presumptuously strech
forth The uuhailowed arm of violence TO
support the car of human progress, like
him of old, will be smilten OF Heaven, and
leave their names a curse in the chronicles
OF Freedom, to warn others from the path
where wisdom became madness, phiIan-
thropy changed TO ierocily, and energy and
zeal only wrought out for their Possessors a
heritage OF inlamy
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1864-04-13

"Moiher.' said Ike Pariinsiou, did you
know that the Iron Horse has but one
ear q
Zone ear raercifui gracious, child what
do you mean 2
"Why The engineer of course
''Isaac, exclaimed The old lady, take
some of DR.. Biss's magical soap, wash
your feet aud go directly TO bed
Her knitting fell TO the tioor, as she raised
her hands. excIaiming-
aWhas psrcushus mind tha. boy has
got -
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1864-04-13
A FORTUNE FOsg ALL
EITHER MEN OR WOMEN

no HUMBUG, but an. ENTIRELY NEW
thing oidy three months in this country.
No claP-trap operation 10 gull the public,
Aoui genuine money making thing Read
The CiFcu ar of Instruction once only, and
you will understand il perfectly. a Lady
has just written TO me that she is making
as high as TWENTY DOLLARS SOME
DAYS. giving instructions in This arl
Thousands OF Soldiers are making money
rapidly al il. II is thing that takes better
than anything ever offered You can
, make money with it no me or abroad-on
steam boats or railroad cars, aud in The
eouniry or city You Will be pleased in
pursuing it, not only because i: will /, ield
handsome income, but also in conse-
bnence Of The general admiration which ii
rliei.s- Iris pretty much all profit. A
mere iFifle is necessary 10 start with.
There is scarcely one person osi OF
thousands who ever pays any attention to
: advertisements of tins kind, lhiaking they
are humbugs. Consequently those who 10
send ior instructions will have a broad
field to make money N. There is class
OF persons in This world who would think
hal because they have been humbneged
cut oil dollar or so, that everything that
Is atserused is a humbug. Consequently
the Ir, no more. The person who sac..
reeds is the one that keeps on trying until
be hits something that pays him.
This AT cost me oRs thousand dollars,
and expecl TO make money ont of i:-aHd
sH who PURCHASE the ART OF me viii DO the
same. Que Dollar sent TO me will insure
be prompt return OF a card of inslruclions
in ,ae art. The money uR ts rauTnsd 10
fAose not satisfied.
Address WALTER 7. TiNSLEY,
No. Park Place, New York.
Oct. 81, lS63.-5m.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1864-04-13

Who "PKocLAIMED WAR ?''-The New
York Times, an accredited leading Repub'
lican paper, in It's Issue OF the oh ult., in
an editorial taking Issue with Th4ddeus
Stevens Tor stating iha; the Rebel States are
beliigeren,s and '.Iha, they are no longer
IN lhe Uaiou," writes this down as lac
that cannot he esinsayed
The coniederacy wanted peace, ard
sent Commissioners 10 Washington 10 eol it
Ne woGld 40, receive ihem, and proeiaial-
ed scar They accepted war. 1hs ques tior
tcho frei tie f'st qua is nO'ttig.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1864-04-13

ARrEMus WARD, in a recen; letter, thus
gives his idea OF re organization
In every attempted 10 re organize my
vile bui once shall never attempt in
again. Ia bin to public dinner, aud had
allowed myself to he betrayed into krinkin
their health until my own Became affected.
Consekens was, | presented myself al
Beisy's bedside late at nile with consider
able ticker concealed aboDt my person. |
had somehow got perseshun OF horse
whip on my way home aud rememb berin'
some cranky observashuns of Mrs. Ward 5
in the morning, snap. the whip rulty
lively, and in very bad voice | said Beizy,
yon need re-organlzin' have come 10
re-orsanize Idreamed ,ha, niie sumbody
had laid a horse whip over me sev'ril con-
seckoo,ive times; and when I woke up
found she had. ] haint drunk much OF any,
thin since and If ever have another re-
organizin' job on hand sha iet j; out.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1864-04-13
From The Cincinnati Enquirer.
TIE PRESENT.
"There's good time coming boys,
Wait lllle longer"

| That ''good time" seems long way off,
And getting farther fast,
/ ! almost think sometimes that all
! The good is in the past.
We once had peaceful, happy homes,
And folks said what they pleased
We didn't 60 il To spasms then
II any body sneezed.
! But now, if you mind your business,
J And keep quiet tongue,
! "You're surely plotting treason,
! And forthwith should bs hung !"
! Or II you speak your SENTIMENTS
Unless Iney chance 10 be
In unison with the glorions schems
Oh negro equality.
'ris ten 10 one You'll wake some morn,
To find yourself provided
Wuh lodgings in Fort Lafayette
For period undecided
You wonder then what you have done,
You can not 'sses IL. I'LL
You're gravely told, You've done no wrong,
But they're afraid you Will"
And if yon say TO your neighbor
la cheerful. friendly talk,
That you wish his war was over"
Siraiehiway he may walk,
And fad some pety Marshal of
The species called Provost
Denounce you as 'Traiiot" base,
And then proceed 10 show
How you've discouraged enIislmenls,
And slrensth 'ened Ihe rebel cause
Have sympalhlZed with disuniou,
Aud Knocked our conntfy's laws,
Then the loyal" Provost MarShal-
OF Buuernuis" afraid
Win make you swear 20 couniensnce
This "Aboition raid"
Or If you're 'green" enough 10 think
This IS counir, free
That you've right 10 your principles,
He'll send you ''Souih' 10 zee,
And Il yoa'd wrie 10 your husband
BY wars rough breezes faEu'd-
Be very sure 10 meniIon first:
You love the "conlraband."
That duty performed, Won can w,its
fonr items OF home news;
How baby's sick wi,h whooping cough,
And yourself with The blues,
Bot MOI word OF politics,
Or the Administration
For. I'm the soldiers ignorance,
Lies our sure salvation"
And don't you tell him that you long
To see him oGce more
That's encouraging Gesertion,
And you must love the war;
Or else some kHaSIsh officer,
Scanning DER your Ierer,
Wis tell You 10 ''quit writing so,
Or, ii you don't, you'd beuer.n
"a good time is in store for Us :"
hope that it will come;
Bot now, il seems, we'll soonest see
The Blacks millennium.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1864-04-13

Idaho, the new gold di.sin9s OF which
we hear such growing accounts OF late, 10
being sorslr afflicted with bandiitas aud
robbers, and The inhabitants, as did ibe Cali.
fornians, ase organizing vigilance commit.
tees 10 project themselves. "e ne'ice oy
recent accounts shat The commi.iee had
hung eight or ten OF a.gaag OF eishiy>ihfse
aud were in search of the rest u seems,
hey are making Summary work In THE
matter.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1864-04-13

COLUMBUS correspondent of The cleave-
land Plain Dealer says the result Of the
Chic Democratic Conyenlion was signal
triumph Tor The Mcclellan element, and
that paper, in an editorial article, avers.lhai
The vote oi The National Convention will
be overwhelming for Mcclellan. We are
of the same opinion, and consider now his
nomination and election "6xed TACT"
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1864-04-13

donation" parry in Poushkeep,is, recently
slowed away IN bis physical ciste'n"
somewhere The following items at supper
;abe
EIGHT large biscuis.
Seven cups Of coffee.
Fory good sized pieces OF cake
Eleven pieces OF cheese.
Sixteen pickles.
Three cnps of lea.
Eight pieces OF pie.
When the plate was passed around for
contributions our here placed thereon TiTE
cESTs
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1864-04-13

AN exchange paper says: a man in a
certain village, with whom We were ac-
quainled, having had sanded sugar sold 10
him, inserted in the weekly Paper the fol-
lowing notice
~ purchased of grocer in this village a
quanuty OF sugar from which obtained
one pound OF sand if The rascal who cheat
ed NE will send 10 my address even pounds
of good sugar, scripture measure sill
be satisfied iiSnoi | shall expose aim"
On The following day nine seven pound
packages of sugar were lett al his residence
from az many different dealers each sup-
posing himself 10 be the person intended.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1864-04-13

AN Abolition shse, wants 10 know
"whsre are ibe Peace men going now @
If there is any rnlh in The words Of the Son
oil Man. they are on their way ioihe king
dom OF heaven" )" where they will no longer
be troubled by lne followers OF Abraham
Lincoln.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1864-04-13
Oct. 81, lS63.-Sm.

IMPORTANT TO LADlES.-fr. Har-
vey's Female Pills have nevur yet failed in
rsmovlng difficulties arising from obsiruc-
lion. CT ~loppase of nature, or IN restoring
the system 10 perfect health when suffer
ieg frem spinal affections. prolapsns, Uteri,
The whites. OF other weakness of the n.et-
inc organs. TIE pills are perfectly harm
less on the constitution, aud may De iaken
6y the most delicate female without cans
ing dislfess-lle same tine they act like
charm by Strengthening, ingigoraiing and
restoring the system 10 a healthy condition
and by Bringing on the monlh.y period
with regularly, 20 matter from what caus-
"a The obstrucnou may arse They should
however, NOT be taken during the 6rsl
three o. ioor months OF pregnancy, thoush
safe al any Other time, as n.lsearfiage
wonId be the result.
Each box contains SO pills. Price 81.
Dr. Hafsey's Treatise 90 diseases of Fe
males. pregnancy, miscarriage, tsarenaess
sserilily, Reproduction, and abuses OF Ma
lure, and en- phaiieaily the ladies' Private
Medical Adviser, pampoIel o. 81 pages
sent fee 10 any address. Six cents re-
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The Pills aud book will be sent by mail
when. desired. securely sealed, and prepaid
BY J. BRYAN, 81. D. General Ag'I.
No. &c Cedar street, New York.
~ Sold by all the principal druggists.
Nov. %. lS63-Iy.
The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1864-04-13

Ifthings go on as they are now going, the
niggers will soon get so vain and proud that
they will scorn 10 marry AbOiitionists. So
says Prentice.