Bedford inquirer. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1857-1884, 1864-10-21
gleaps aaa Otler gltells.

:
party ofguerilias captured the westward hound
train on the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad on Thurs
day night robbed the passengers and burned the
cars.
There are around us, thousands and thousands Of
homes, all the chambers of which are made dark or
cheerless for the lack Of the ssmall sweet eourte
sies' of life, so cheaply given, magical in their.
effect
Hugot Arnott, one day, while painting with the
asthma, was alnos deafened by the noise ofa bawl-
ing fellow, selling oysters The extravigant ras-
cal said Hugot; che has wasted in two seconds
as much breath as would havo served me for
month
During the examination of witness as to the To-
cation of stairs in house, the counsel asked him;
(which way do the stairs run?'' The witness very
innocenty replied Zone way they run up stairs, but
the other way they run down stairs The learned
counsel took look at the ceiling.
Soon after the death of poet Wordsworth man
met farmer ofthe neighborhood and said to him:
seYou have had great loss 'sWhat loss?n "Why
you have lost the great poet!" 'Ohl ay, said the
farmer "he is dead, but then no doubt his wife'll
carry on the bus ness and make it as profitable as
iyer was.''
The GREAM-coLoRED IsLAND.-At Malta, during
the summer, every thing sa yellowish white: cream
coored houses, cream -colored hedges, eream-color
ed fields, for all Vegetation is burnt up white trous
sers, white jackets white hats, white boots, all Of
which take yellow tnge in the sun and then there
is the peril of sunstroke if you go out without an
umbrella over your head.
May is considered an unfortunate marrying month
young girl was asked not long since, to unite her
self to lover who named May in his proposals.
The lady limited that May was unlucky 'Well, make
it June then replied the swain Casting down her
eyes, and with blush she rejoired, 'sWould not
April do as well.'
The husband of pious woman having occasion
to make voyage, his wife sent written request to
the clergyman of the parish, which instead of spell
ing and pointing properly, namely, ga person hay
ing gone to sea, his wife desires the prayers of the
congregation she spelt and pointed as follows
"a person having gone to see his wife, desires the
prayers of the congregation
Two important arrests of fcounterfeiters have been
made this week--the first and most extensive at
Port Jervis, New York, where $4,000 in spurious
fractional currency was seized; the latter in New
York early Thursday morning, $4,000 of notes of
the same denomination being secured. The par
ties engaged in the manufacture of the spurious is
sue, with their paper, presses, dies ETC., in the
hands of the detectives who worked up the cases.
An amusing circumstance occurred in a singing
school, some years ago. Mr.. Paine was the
teacher, and Miss Patience one ofthe pupils. In
the course of the evening the teacher gave out the
tune set to the words
"Come, gentle patience smile on pain"
The pupils so excited by laughter that it was
found impossible to sing the line. Soon the teach
er gave out another, in which were the following
lines:
s0h give me tears for others woes,
And patience for my own.u
The resibities of the school were so affected
that all singing deferred until another occasion.
FREEoH CHAsERs.-While a regiment of New
Jersey cavalry, armed and uniformed something like
the French Chasseurs, was passing through Wash
ington the curiosity Of member of Congress was
aroused by their exotic dress and appearance, and
being informed they were Frenchmen, he walked up
to fercely moustached fellow among them, and in
quired, 'Etes Fraacais 7'' The soldier looked
at him fercey and burst out angrily: iNone o, your
Dutch to US ifya phase, we re all Frinchmin- -Frinch
chasers, de ye mind, an we'd like mighty we'll to
get dhrop O. whiskey ifye have any about ye. !"
The Congressman, unable to accommodate the E.eha-
ser he desired, passed on to another part of the
procession.
A REBEL. CANINE DESPATCH CARRIER