Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1864-06-25
A Missionary I'm DIR. ODDS New Church Or
dained by Rev. Petroleum v. Nasty.

/ Last Sunday we he'd an improvin seeZen.-
Robert looms Punt who heZ been study in
fer the ministry with me for the past weeks
was izeust and ordand. He ID a yooth of
much promise. He voted Bookanon, and
only Is years old; swor in his vote with
GOODNESS that eggsited the admirashun Nv the
partriarks at the biznis. / kin safely say
that he hez whald more Ablishnists, busted
moar Methodist brethrin and luther hetrodox
| churches than any Dimocrat Nv his age in the
Staff He hez brilyunt fucher.
After the usual questions wuz put him
| and satisfactorily ansered the congregrashen
was dismist, and in the presents Nv the elders
and dekuns alone, delivered the followin
CHARGE:
Brother-Hevin bin regerly ordanj, it only
remanes fer me tn Civ 700 word of council.
700 air goin into the apossal biznis at a ray
Their unfavorable time. Man which is born
Nv woman hez trouble fer his inheritance
I've he'd 50 much NV it that eff had to do it
over agin l wouldn't be born at all.
The pOlitikle hevins is overcast with pre-
tenshus clowds. The litenin of wrath liz
leapin from wun to another, whist the thun-
der which was wunst at a distans, now rores
angrily in our GERS. The old ship Dimocricy
liz tossing onto the wild valves, with nary a
sail set, her seems open, the water Ia foreign
element to her insides) rushin in. The
stiddiest part Nv her crew seized the botes
and abandoned her, and the rest Nv EN- are
fitin for the helum.
In the meantime the old ship is dashin
past the haven Nv destructshen. To you liz
entrusted part Nv the work of savin her.
Let me entreet you:
/. Avoid the soldiers. With them you hev
nothin in common. Wunst a party Nv um
maid me drink pint Nv water and take the
oath of allejinse, which outrage wuZ follered
| by CONGESTION NV the bowls and inflammation
Nv the brain.
2. Allus preech agin the niger. It's
soothin to ginooine constitutional suthern
rites dimocrat to be constantly told that thar
is a race of meaner men than he is. Besides
| it's safe-the niger haz no vote. Eff he had,
we might vary.
8. Alluz hev a master. The stats rites
dImocrisy alluz sympathize with man that is
in basteels for sympathysen with the south,
| fer nun Ov UNI kno how soon their turn may
KUN.
4. Preech agin amalgamashUn at least 4
Sundays per munth A man Nv straw that you
set up yerself is the easiest knOct down, per-
tikelery if you set him up with view of
hooking Nv him down.
5. Alluz diloot yer whisky for new con-
| verts. 1t talks much to convert an Abilish-
mist, and eff you use the pure artikkel it
would kill a ordinary eenstitooshen afore
| he'd hev time to vote, which wood be aggre-
vatin.
6. Sarch the skripters faithfully for SIGH
passagiz ez kussed be Kanan, sarvance obey
| your masters, and sich.
Z. Lern to rede, or at lest git the shape
NV the letters so fxt in your mind that
when 700 quote frum a book or noOspaper,
700 will hold it rite side up. Eddiocashen
hez been CRATE help to me.
s. Lern to spell and pernownce Missenege-
nashun. It's good word.
The crate leeding ices Nv our sekt which
| it is your dooty to inkulkate is these: The
niggers ape, Linkin goriller, JEFF Davis
chrischen gentleman, the rebellyun strug-
| gle for rites, the sOjer bloody tool, Ben
Butler beest, ct settra. Yoo air never
believe in Federal victrys, but must allus
! credit confederate successes. l woodent adj
wise 700 to let your faith in the confedrisy
go so far as to take their scrip, on yer salary,
neither wood burn greenbax.
l hev dun. Go my bruther. Let yer pol
er star be Dimocrisy, yer rallyin cry, "The
Yoonyun ez ct wuz-the COnstoOshun ez it
H." which is attitoodious, fte the good fife,
| and the time will cum when you kin lay orr
yer arms, and with "P. NJ" after yer naim,
enjoy the repose that allus follows well di-
rected and wiggerous effort.
Brother Punt started to-day for Southern
Illinoy, where he has chongregashun.
| PETROLEUM. Y. NAsBY,