davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Richmond palladium., 1864-04-27

both sides WIZ eggshaustei, and then
=. rrfr.r~ur-a coYnpromize- He wanted
lin KUN histed wunst, and had ther bin
/ n proper understandin atwixt him and
Lee. Jefferson Davis mite hev bin in the
White House and we the pure dim ocricy
mite not onia hev had the Post Orfises
but hev ben a-reyilin. q on the coniscated
estaits w aberlishenists, which wood hev
+ ben constitushinal. / had, my eagle eve
fixt on a sheep farm NV 800 akers, but
alas l got II not Then the iron entered
nv soie-Then | kussed the imbesiIity
Nv tire man who he'd swintii ed me out Nv
! the farm longed for I'll nun Nv him ,
/ Avant, -1
l Ez fur Grant, my sole rekoils with
horrur at the bare ice. What, nomin-
ait a man whose willin soard drips with
the CORY life blud NV unwillin dimicritic
saints? +? Nevir, Forbidit, heaven Marry
the virgin: Pease > a soger drenched
in goar. /, Nasty forbid the bans,
The trooth is We are eettin wild 4
man cant look waze without DOOM vio-
lents his organs NV vishion- If per-
sisted in he d becum cross ide. We com
menst with our facts southard. Their our
hope lize--let us keep our ize that way
If we nonlinait a war man, and turn back
into 4 war platform, what better air we
than the Gentiles! such iinnasticks air
purty see, but tha rench me iimnastist
No let US 20 on ez we begun. Ez
peace men our cauz is not hoaplis.
The knew and unconstooshnel taczs
on whisky keeps the orthodox dimocricy
strait (though at our expense) and a
lucky Konfederait victory this spring
wood tMrn the week need war men in2
peace bawlcrs Good heavens, air we
insain Shall we throw away such wee
pins ez taNis, conscripshun, nigger, free
speech, ct settery, and bow the nee
Link um Neyir
Wat we want IL thes
l. A peace man for handy DAFT
.. Moor Marters.
IF the outraiaid Vallandygum and
Sam Medary, and Geo. r Pooh wood fur
the gId NV the party, consent to be driv-
en- tn desperashun bv the tiranv NV the
Admnistrashun, and kommit sooiside, it
wood be q trump kard for Us. Wat mu
wing appeels we could maik over ther ded
bodiz. I'll rite III en- on the subject
3 The formashun NV Adc Socictis 2
defra the expensis nv the kampane,
which will be enormous DIN the tacl1s
on whisky.
4. konfederait victrys and lots, NV EN-
wich not onla kills off Aberlishen voters
but dishart ems war men north.
>. The liberal preechin w pure gos-
pei untaintcd with Aberlishenism
With thes we ken ez ezy suck seed ez
uzed 4 tn turn jack from the bootom Wen
| WIZ i'll a state ny unrejenerashun.
Peas dimocrat for Presydent q hap
py thought, The form mshuns. The
custom howses, Let lis be wise and
theze IL ourn. PETROLEUM V. Massey.
Pastor Nv sed Church in Charge.
The Richmond palladium., 1864-04-27
Nasby on Mick leIlan.
CHURCH Nv THE SLoTrERED SANrz
LAIr ST. VALLANDYGUM


LAIT ST. NALLANDYGUMt
/ notis in the Dimocratic papers de
sire maik Gen. Mick Leilan or General
Grant our nominee for the Presidency
Sooisidel ijee. l protest
Time hasent teched my tiowin loN with
frost and furrode my massive brow fur not
-Peepil hev sumtimes doubtid nv on
isty-but my talents nevir i don't al
ways pay. but l nevir failed horrowin.-
Wich is useful Their [ throw myself
into the breech and demand a heerin.
am infeNibly opposed to Mick Lei
lan's nominashen l hey faith in the
scoundnis NV his dilnoericy, Dut nun
whatever in his A biiity Look at it
He was plaised in poosisiIen , naik the
dimocricy, but instead, he (by week.-mrs. J
well nigh rooinened it. He had under
his kontrole 10000 Aherlishenists A
man NV genius wool hev destroyed EN-
all. whereas he only sunk abowt the haff
leavin the rest live IL vote agin us. \
nomynee NV the dimocricv must he a man
abel , kontrole uther men. IL he sich
Not enny. Did he not let that ar born
devil Hooker. kearney, and Mansfield,
(who was killed. haIeloogy } brake
away and fite our Suthern brethrin st
Anteetam and elsewhere KILN Jest ez
meny Suthern dimicrats ez waz killed uv
the aberlishenists Troo he sto,1t is ms
soon ez he cood-troo him and Fitsioin
Porter lade out Pope and KEEP him frsm
beetin our Suthern frends-troo he did
Lin kun ez much hurt and Davis ez much
gud ez wuz in him. but the wurk he mite
hev dun wuz only haif dun.
His ijee WIZ not our ice. His STRATEGY
wuz 2 shashay baekords and forard, until
The Richmond palladium., 1864-04-27

"A QJIEr MRprr ,roR.-A Young Eng
iishman, while 1T Naples, was introduced
at an assembly of one of the first ladies.
by Nea,,olian gentleman; while he was
there his snuF box was stolen from him.
The next day, being at another house,
he saw \ person taking snuff out of his
box. He ran 20 his friend--.'There,"
said he, ..that man in blue, with gold en-
broidery, is taking snuff out of the box
sto'el from me yesterday. Do You know
him? Is he not a shsrper:"
Take care said the other, -.that man
is OF the first quality
IL do not care for his quality said the
Englishman. Il rnust have my snuff box
again; viii go and ask for it
Pray be quiet" saidhis friend, land
leave u to me to get back your box
tpon this answer the Engiishman went
away. after inviting his friend to dise
with him the next dag He accordingly
came, and, as he catered. said. There,
have brought you your snuff. box"
"Well, how did You obtain it?''
Why, Idid not wish to make ana noise
absut it, 20 picked his pocket of it,
The Richmond palladium., 1864-04-27
DIABETES. and DISEASES of the KID
NEYS and BLADDER.
CONSTITUTION WATER

Has been pronounced hv the Medical Faculty and the
public u he the wonderful remedy for the per-
mane0t OF all diseases Of the STOMACH. IiN-
ER. KIDNEYS, and BLADDER that has Ever been
offered.
Ii is not MINERAL WATER Ii is fr,n expert
eucc that CoNSfiTU TloN WATER has emanatei and
now say lei no man doubt, when single bottle has
tren known O. c1Igc diseases Which the best medical
talent IN this country has failed - relieve.
remedy possessing the virtues of Constitution Wat
cannot he cl2>Sed under .quAck" preparations.
i; Is used bv the scientific practitioners in
tins city Ii Is ouly second-el>s physicians that cries
down popular remeslics whtle the better skilled make
of every means o. accomplish cure and te sue
~ the physician Increases As his kaawe~ %!
different rencies enables him to produce a cure y hle
others fail in the attempt Science is satisfied with
the truth.
Give Constitution Water a fair trial-we mean suu
who are NADER some sYcci,sif frn ~ wear.
and particularly aluie ladies who are constant
plcations for diseases. with much chance Of sue
cess there would be from local applications to the
throat for diseases of the brain.
We have always becn careful to use language in our
circular that could not shock the delicate organ
lzauon. but receive many communications from
persons fer which Constitution Water is adapted and
Of whose disease mention has been made that we
come o the conclusion that if the remedy is capahe
producing cure. matter what the disease may be,
it should be made known The ne,licne is put up for
the public. ami there should he no exoeptrons
We would say, Constitution Water is not a eilded
pill, made to suit the eve and taste it Is medicine
in every of the term placed in the hands of the
people for their relief and If taken according the
directions II viii IN every produce radical cure
We would that the directions regard diet, etc
relate only to the disease under which they occur.
The Richmond palladium., 1864-04-27

Et.- A very talkative little girl used
often to annoy her mother by making re
marks about the visitors that came to the
house. On one occasion gentleman
was expected whose nose had been acei-
dentally fattened nearly to his face
The mother cautioned her child particu-
larly to say nothing about this feature
Imagine her CONSERVATION when the lit
tie one exclaimed -. Ma, you told me
not to say any thing about Mr.. Smith
nose. Why, he hasn't got any
The Richmond palladium., 1864-04-27
The Badge ofthe Fifteenth Army Corps.

From letter from the Army Of the Cunlberland.l
The troops which came here from the
Army ofthe Potomac brought with them
vasious ornamental habits and customs
that were new to the Western soldier
Among them was the corps badge, which
designated the corps to which officers
and men were attached. For instance,
the 10Th a star The badge is made of
any material-gold, silver. or red flannel.
and worn conspicuousiy on some part Of
the clothing. The Western corps have
no such badge. How an Irishnan ex-
planned the matter is thus told:-A
soldier came TO the headquarters of Gen
eral Butterfield, a tired, weather beaten
sraggler. He was one of those who
made Sherman march from Memphis
Chattanooga, thence to Knoxville, and
was now returning in the terrible cold
of that returning march, thinly clad,
one foot covered with badly worn army
shoe, the other with a piece Of rawhide
bound with strings obout q sockless foot
both feet cut and bleeding. Arms at
will" he trudgcd past tue headquarters
guard, intent only upon overtal>ing his
regimen. Halt, said q sentinel with
bright piece. clean uniform, and white
gloves What do yol belong to?'
18th Misshoory, sure
What diyision!'
Morgan LsiSmitii's, av coorse"
What brigadeg'
s.Giles Smiths, I'd Brigade Of the ID
Division,
s'Bnt what CORPSE,
"The15th, you id fool 4 am one
of the heroes OF Nicksburg. Anything
more, Mr. Sentihel:'
s4Where is your badger" 81
"My badge is it? what is that's
s.Do Won see this star oa-lny cap?
That is the badge of the 18th Corps
That crescent on my partnerseap is the
badge Of the l1th Corps ~
Il see now. That's how yez potomick
fclleas gits home Nv dark snights & Ye
take the moon and stars With We"
.'But what is the badge of your corps?"
Making an about face, and slapping
his cartridge box. our soldier replied
Dye see that: a cartridge box, with
a T. S. on brass plate, and forty rounds
in the cartridge hoN-siNty rounds in our
pockets. That's the badge of the 10Th,
that come from Niel>sburg-to help We
fight Chattanoogy-"
The Richmond palladium., 1864-04-27

@The Albany haicker6oeker says that
there is one man in Poughkeepsie who
has been rather unfortunate lately. hav
ing been drafted, married and burnt ont
He might have recovered from the draft
and burn. but the marriage settled him.
The Richmond palladium., 1864-04-27
whether ini~rens IN shs sysseu
OF produced by spisal seaases.

NOTHING that Is not wholesome. Ecii AMI trestora-
tive its enters into the composition of HOS
LETTERS STOMACH BlrTERS. This popular
preparation contains no mineral of any kind bo-
tanic, eensars; hery excisant but il ) Arombina-
ton of the of real hasamc herbs and plants
the pueess sud mkiest Of ~n iasvc stn,Olanss.
Ii is well to he forearmed against disease, and so
Ear the human system cad ~ protected BY human
means against maladies enseniervd by an ,snwhole-
causes. . HoSTETrER's BITTERs may be relied on
safeguard. -
In districts nlestri nth {sasr aud A,se it has been
found infalhbe - Essensauye and irresistahe as
hension of attack, the and thousands
~he negectto ral theselyescf its proiec quail
this marvellous medicine. Fever and Aguc patients,
ats5 ate, beng Piled with Sn,alne for months n yam,
not unfreauentIv restored to health within few days
by the use of Hostetser,> Bitters.
The weak stomach is rapidly invigoratei and the
appetite restored by this agreeable Tppie and hence
trmed forms of Indigestion. Acting gentle
and painless apperient, well upon the liver il
also invariably releayes the Constitution superin-
duced by irregular action Of the digestive and secrc-
tive organs.
persons of feeble habit liable 10 Nerv Gus Attacks,
L5Wnes> of Spirits and Fits Of Languor.
find prompt aud permanent relief from the Bitfcrs.
The testimony cn tns point Is most conclusive and
from both sexes.
TIE Agony OF tsilisus Collie is Immediately
suaged by single dose of the stnaulent, and by
esionaly resortng To II. the return OF the complaint
may be prevented. F. ~s'-eaas-T '@s-a
As general Tonic, Hostcter's Bitters produce
effects which be esperei,ced witnessed before
they be fully appreciated. In cases of Consfaiosai
Necklaces. Prenadrc Decay and Debility and Decrepi
tuie arising from Old Age it exercises the electric
influence. In the convaescent stages of all diseases
IT operates as delightful inygorant. When the
powers of nature are relaxed operates TO re-enorce
and rc-enstabsh them.
Last, hat not least, ii is Tae Only Sfe Si,n,dcns
being manufactured from sound and innoeuous mate
rails and entirely free from the acid elements present
or less all the ordinary tonics and stcmachcs
of the day. ~
No family medicine has been so universally, aud II
NAV be truly addssi DEsERN EDLl popular with the
intelligent portion of the community HOstetter's
Bssters. 80 'tltt. $685. 7st.t - p '@--
Prepared by IioSTETTERd SMITH, Pttsburg, Pa
Sold by all Druggists, Grocers and Storekeepcrs
everywhere.
The Richmond palladium., 1864-04-27
HELMBoLD'S
GENUINE PREPARATIONS,

COMPOUND FLUID EXTRACT BUCHu, "A Positive
and Specific Remedy for iscfscs of the Bladder Kid
neys, Gravel. and Dropsicaf Swellings. i so c'f
This Medicine increases the power OF Digestion, and
exctes the Absorbents into healthy action by which
the Waterv Cacareous depositions and an unnatu-
raj enargemcnts reduced, well pain and in
Hammatinn h -----sl lgt gltfa sszlr 5rs
HeimboId,s Extract Nuchu.
For Weakness arising from Excess.s, Habits Of
Dissipation, Early lndiscretpn OF Abuse, attended
with the following sympfoms:-
indisposition 10 Excrtion, s-'1 Toss Of Power
Loss Of Memory, Difficulty of Breathing,
Weak Nerves, t 4 80 Trembling,
Horror Of Disease, Wakefulness,
Dmness of Vision, @ s7. Pain in the back
Universal Lassit,sie of the Moscnlar System. fas
Hot Hands, t.tu~ Flushing of the Boiy
Dryness Of the Skin, Eruptons the Face
Pallicd Ccuntensnce 80
These YIN toms, If allowed to go on, which this
medicine invariably removes, soon follows
Lnq,ot1ey, Fasaify, EtszePtic Fit,
In one of which the Patent may expire.
Who can say that they not frequently followed
by those ..Direfu Discas-se." % ~
"INSaNITY AND CONSUMPTION
Many Of the of their suffering,
But none will confess the record Of the in.
sane n.yiunss. se
AND MELANCHOLY DEATHS CONSUMPTION bear
ample witness TO the Truth Of the assertion.
The Consultation eTected nth Oryanie eeak.e.s
requires the aid OF Medfcfne 10 Strengthen Invgo-
rate the System r.-a fs : 4, -+aw
Which iIeimboid's extract :Isuchm invariably
The Richmond palladium., 1864-04-27
The question has been asked, WHY

is il considered impolite for gentlemen
to go in the presence of ladies in their
shirt sleeves, while it is in every way
correct for the ladies themselves to
appear before gentlemen without any
sleeves? 1t is still unanswered
The Richmond palladium., 1864-04-27
Written for the Cincinnati Tines
Parson BrownIow's Daughter.

CINCINNATI, o., March 81, 1864
EDITOR TINES: The accompanying stan
zas were found among other papers in
the pocket Of dead rebel soldier, at
Blue Springs; East Tennessee, by a
Michigan soldier, now in this city He
has the original copy in his posses
sion, which he kindly permitted me to
transcribc hor publication. Respect
fully, JouN MENDEU.
A Indy the portal stood,
The "Stans and Stripes" about her,
W. : pistol waving in each hand,
Twas Parson Brownow's daughter.
The Rebels marched towards the house
With hearts full bent on slaughter
They called aloud "pull down that aagr'
ToPArson Brown,ow's daughter.
But she was not so easy scared,
Nor tmid, they thought her,
'Your sculls I'll empty of your brains,
Said Parson Brownlow's daughter.
81 swear quoth one, IL like her grit,
She is perfect snor.er,
And We had best get up and GIT .Es
From Parson Brownlow's daughter"
The flag still waved above the house
As chss'e star. in water, &a
II hong has waved, and long NAV
Ger Parsoa BROW now dau- u-hter. .J
u ever conclaie TO be
A matrimonial sauatte-
III 60 70 Kloxvitie, Tennessee
II And marry 8rowulow's daughter.
The Richmond palladium., 1864-04-27
DIURETICS
READ! READ!! READ!!!

DAxvILLE. PA. june 2. 1ss3.-Dr. HB H Gre9g,
-Dear .Sr in February, 1861, afflicted with
sugar diabetes, and for five months passed than
two gallons Of water in tsenty-feur hours | was
obliged get up often ten twelve times during
tie night. and in five months lost fifty pounds in
weight During the month of July. 1851, I procured
two bottles Of Constitution Water and iavs after
using experienced relief and after taking bot
ties I was entirely cured, after regaiIing my
usual good health Yours truly,
7 7, DE WITT
The Richmond palladium., 1864-04-27

IF An Ohio paper says -. Some say
there are but two sexes, the male and
female, but yoH have only to get into
Massachusetts to find Middlesex.
The Richmond palladium., 1864-04-27
coURTlW IN THE COUNTRY.

sa@ra BY II. ELLIOTT MCBRIDE.
zskie, gets the "chores'' DONE
He feeds the hens and rigs, =
Tends 70 the cows and caives,
Then be gets on his .:rigs."p
Young heads arsand him VI
Shouting out Ike FORUM, III
fhat zetes getting sa 5a ii. Sunday go -neetius
just TO 20 a courtin'. NJ 81
Zeke marches 10 the place;
.s5als He knocks and hears "Coms in I"
tf They I've all glad to see him,
They take his shawl and pin
Zcke after looking round
nasssssss.aaa;. sssaa; @ ssss sss s',s;.Te "ssJT -'.s
con.e4nsn,ly; le !. dess1s e;s ss say much o" AL
TIE old gentleman talks
or horses and the crops;
And shs ola isdy asks
About biz mother,s hops.
q What butter they have churneds
ne.s And fss' e mentally n@sa'S calculates. ~Hops butter
and things be derned y
Old folks keep taIkn,,
,Criekets keep buzzin,
Sally looks at Ezekiel,
Sally thinks It's bedtime,
And Zekiel thinks so too; -
And old folks seem tckled
And keep looking at each other, and then at
Zeks Asd Sally, as if they knew thing too.
The old man pulls his boots,
And travels OF To bed;
The old lady IS yawnngr
And heng up her head.
Zekiel's feeling tickled,
Feeling kinder funny
He thinks the tin G has come
FOR nm 70 pop the question, get VIE, AMI
commence layln up the money.
Now the old f4lks are gone,
But SaIly's still knittin';
Zeke fdRits al around
And steps on kitdn
r She asks him why so mum
And Zeke hens and haws;
pJTt. He gives an awful cough
Then he crosses his legs then he uncrosses
them, and then he says because"
NC 81 1N lal-l 2. .tt--f stss
Ezekiel clears his throat
Then hiches up his chair
Sally looks slantin'. like
AZ As II she didn't care
f..- Zeke clears his throat again
Again he bitches near:
And Sal the little pet 'tsr
The Richmond palladium., 1864-04-27

In many Affections peculiar 10 Females. the ExTRA ACT
BUCHU is unequaef by any other remedy, as in
Cllorosis Retention, Irrsnlarity, Painfulness or
Suppression Of Customary Executions, liberated or
ulrriious Of the Uterus, L<uctsrThocap Whites
Starility and for all complaints incident to th. scx
wie:-r arisns, from indserction Habits Of Dcssipa-
ton, in the .fl ~ BED4 s~-
The Richmond palladium., 1864-04-27
DE ABETES.
IRRITATION OF THE NECK OF THE BLADDER.
INFLAMMATION OF THE KIDNEYS
CATARRH OF THE
BLADDER.


BLADDER.
STRANGUARY AND BURNING, OR PAINFUL,
URINATiNG.
For these diseases il is truly sovereign remedy
and much be said in its praise. A single
dose has been known relieve the most urgent symp-
toms.
Are You troubled with distressing pain in the
small Of the hack and through the hips? teaspoon
ful day Of the Constitution Water will relieve You
Ike magic.
PHYSICIANS
Havc long snce given up the of buchu cuets and
juniper tne treatment of those diseases, and only
them for the want of a better remedy.
CONSTITUTION WATER
has proven itself equal the task that has devolved
upon 1t.
DIURETICS
and drenci the kidneys, and by Consistent use
lead 70 chonic degcnerations and confirmed disease.
We present the Constitution Water 20 the public
with the conviction that it has equal in relieving the
class Of diseases fer which il has been found eInn-
entity successful for curing and that
shall be rewarded for efforts in placing valuable
remedy ia form meet the requirements of patient
and PLY scian.
The Richmond palladium., 1864-04-27
FEMALES..FEMAL LI.S..FEMALFS.

A Trial win convince the most skcptical.
The Richmond palladium., 1864-04-27

Take more Da!sam- Mercury, or nm.
pleasant Medicines for un npieasant and dan.
geTous diseases. Has y f,4s4 4@atsres
HELMBOLD'S EXTRACT BTCHE AND IMPROy-
ED ROsR WASH CURES T-IT
SEGREsr
The Richmond palladium., 1864-04-27
PHYSICIANS
CONSTITUTION WATER

avc long since given up the of buchu cuIebs and
juniper tlc treatment of those diseases, and only
them for the want of a better remedy.
Dayton daily empire. [volume] (Dayton [Ohio]) 1850-1865, 1864-05-17

pd~A letter from Jerusalem, ia the Paris
Monde says "The Duke de Lynes is ex.
ploring the Dead Sea, on hoard q small steamer
called the Segar, ten metres (thirty three feet)
in length, vhieh he got built on purpose at
roulon. Il was then taken to pieces and
sent TO JafA, whence il was conveyed to the
Dead Sea on the backs Of camels. The Arabs
in the neighborbood, struck With amszement
al the sight Of this tiny vessel moving along
the waters 10 way inexplicabe 70 then.
firmly believe that Il is a ohaitAn (demonl
which has risen from the bottom Of the ac-
cursed Lake OF Sodom.p
Dayton daily empire. [volume] (Dayton [Ohio]) 1850-1865, 1864-05-17
From the Holmes Comfy Farmer.
Patriotic Drinking.

A ''loyal'' man came to town the other day
got little heavy about the head, and fear
ing he might be suspected of drinking too
freely, apologised TO crowd of bystanders
in the following eloquent and patriotic Ian
guagei
Now, l ak you fellers, who's the best cit
izen, him as supports government, or him as
DOESN'T Why him as does, iu course. | sup
ports Government, fellers-every man as
drinks supports GoverRment-That is il be
drinks taxed licKers Every blessed drop Of
ticker he swallows is taxed to pay the ssla-
ries OF them big officers at Washington, and
support the war. Spose all was 10 quit drink
ing, why the war must stop, and the Goyern-
ment must fall-it couldn't help It nohow.
That's the VERY reason drinks. l don't
like grog, mortally hates il. II follored
my own inclination, ! wonld rather drink but
termilk, or ginger pop or soda-water. But
lickers for the good of my country, to set an
example Of loyalty, wirtuous self-deuial, to
the rising generation
Dayton daily empire. [volume] (Dayton [Ohio]) 1850-1865, 1864-05-17
A HeIIIsh outrage.
Ispeela Dispatch to the Chicago Thnssl

SPRINGFIELD, ILL May TO-
The most hellisb outrage that ever startled
any community was perpetrated here to-day.
A soldier who states his name to be John NJ
Phillips of the 10th Infantry, procured a
buggy, and, driving near the residence of one
of our most prominent ministers, stopped and
seized litle daughter OF the minister, dol
icate and sickly child only 10 years old and
drove rapidly off to the woods outside OF the
city, where he accom- plished bis internal pur-
pose, he then brought the child back to the
city. and left her in the street. Upon return.
ing tho buggy to the livery stable, the soldier
boasted that he had played hell with one
preachers daughter As might be expected,
the parents are almost distracted The child
is badly injured This is one Of the fruits Of
Abolitionism. The father is a strong Demo
erat, and Abolilionists have taught soldiers
that Democrats have no rights which even q
negro is bound to respect. The soldilr has
been arrested. II the citizens suffer him to
breathe much longer, they will be recreAnt to I
their duty. iiooJ 5aA