The Union. [volume] (Georgetown, Del.) 1863-1866, 1864-02-12
attit, atisdonr, and aJumor.

AN ACUTE LADY's ENCOUNTER WITH NO
TED HIGuwAYMAN.-LadyB Browne and were
as usual going to the Duchess Of Montrose at
seven o'clock. The evening was very dark.
In the close lane under the park-pale, and
and within twenty yards of the gate, black
figure pushed by between the chaise and the
hedge on my side. suspected it was high
wayman; and so found did Lady Browne,
for she was speaking and stopped. To divert
her fears, was just going to say, sis not
that the apothecary going to the duchess2"
when heard voice cry:
"StopP and the figure came back to the
chaise. l had the presence of mind, before l
let down the glass, to take out my watch and
stuff it within my waistcoat under my arm.
He said, "Your purses and watches"
replied, "I have no watch"
"Thcn your purse"
gave it him. 1t had nine guineas. 1t
was SO dark that could not see his hand,
but felt him take it. He then asked for Lady
Brownies purse, and said:
"Don't be frightened, will not hurt you"
I said, "No, you won't frighten tho lady"
He replied, No, give you my word l
will do you no hurt"
Lady Browne gave him her purse, and was
going to add her watch but he said, Il am
much obliged to you; I wish you a good
nightw pulled off his hat, and rode away.
"Well," said I, Lady Browne, you will
not be afraid of being robbed another time,
for you see there is nothing in it."
"Oh, but am," said she, and now am
in terror lest he should return, for have
given him purse with only bad money that
1 carry on purpose"
PURITAN WEDDING DIscouRsEs.-The prac-
tce of wedding dscourses was handed down
into the last century, and sometimes beguiled
the parties concerned into rather startling
levities. For instance, when Parson Smiths
daughter Mary was to marry young Mr..
Cranch-(what graceful productions of pen
and pencil have come to this generation from
the posterity of that union)-t father per-
mitted the sanity maiden to decide on her
own text for the sermon, and she meekly Sc
lectcd "Mary hath chosen the better part
which shall not be taken away from her."
and the discourse was duly pronounced. But
when her wild, young sister Abby was bent
on marrying a certain Squire Adams, called
John, whom her father disliked, and would
not even invite to dinner, she boldly selected
for her text, "John came neither eating
bread nor drinking wine, and ye say he hath
devil" But no sermon stands recoi ded un-
der this prefix, though Abby lived to be the
wife of one President of the United States,
and mother of another"
SPIRITUAL ADVICE Br PHYsIcIAN.-" Old
Doctor c." was known as a skillful physician,
blunt aud downright, but not addicted to
church-going. Mr.. S., the sick trader, sent
for him. The pulse was examined, tho pills
dealt out, and the directions given. But as
the doctor was taking up his saddle-bags, Mr..
S. turned to him with very pious look.
Il have solem request to make Of you,
DR.. D.?
"What! Of ne? solemn request Of me1"
"Yes, sir; feel that am a very sick man,
and if at any time you see that l am going to
die, want you to let me know it at least
three days beforehand"
"But what in the world do you want to
know that for?"
"Oh, don't know that am prepared to
die, and shall want at least two or three
days to prepare
"oh, well, make your preparations, make
your preparations, Mr.. S.; and if you don't
die, ii iOW not-be lost to your customers"
The New FoorMAN.-A gentleman was
going out one day, in his carriage, to cal
with his wife, when he discovered that he had
left his visiting cards. He ordered his foot
man, who had recently come into his service,
to 60 to tho mantelpiece in the sitting-room,
and bring the cards he should see there
The servant did as he was ordered, retaining
the articles to be used as directed, and Of
started the gentleman, sending in the foot
man with cards wherever the mot at home"
occurred. As these were very numerous, he
turned to the servant with the question
"How many cards have you leftl"
"Well SIR" said the footman, very limo
Gently, "there's the king of spades, the siz
of hearts, and the ace of clubs"
"The deucel" exclaimed his master.
"Thats gone" said John.
BJ-" see here, Misther," said an lrishlad
of seven Summers, who was treed by dog,
- If you don't take that dog away I'll eat up
all ymr apples"