American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1864-07-06
wIT AND WISDOM.


looked at steadily.
A COUNTRY editors appeal.-Sixty-
two and half cents wanted at this office
THE marriage contract of a ahaxen-hair-
ed girl to a silver-haired man only shows
that silver can buy fax.
A PERSON, who had been travelling
" Down East" says that he saw plenty of
pinc-orchards, but no pine-apples.
ARTEMUs WARD says: experience is
an excellent schoolmaster, but charges
dreadful wages
BE careful of your table-talk. Do all
your biting on your food. Don't be BIZ
ting in your remarks.
A POOR, thoughtless old gentleman sat
down the other day, on the spur of the
moment His screams were frightful
A GOOD conscience seats the mind on
rich throne of lasting quiet, but horror
waits upon guilty soul.
If there be ne tints of affection in the
morning haze of life, it will be in vain to
seek them in the staring light of the late
noon.
A coNFEcTIoNER in New York has
brought his business to such perfection
that he is now offering to the public his
candicd opinion.
A GENTLEMAN lately heard laborer
gravely inform two comrades that sew
enty-four-pounder is cannon that sends
ball exactly seventy-four miles.
INFURIATED principal opening fast
clerks telegram by mistake, reads" we
are having great sport Tell old Gripes
you are sick, and come. Polly is here"
THOSE who are most weary of life, and
yet unwilling to die, are such as have liv-
ed to no purpose-have rather breathed
than lived.
EXCUSE me, madam, but l would
like to know why you look at me so saw.
agely," said gentleman to lady strang-
er.
Oh! beg pardon, sir. l took you for
my husband !" was the reply.
YOUNG WIFE," Oh, my dear, there
is most lovely set-pin earrings and
sleeve buttons. Do go buy them"
Mr.. TIGHTsTRINe.-Yes, my dear, /
mean to go by them as quick as possible.
THE girls of Northampton have been
sending bachelor editor boquet of tan
sy and wormwood. He says he doesn't
care he'd rather smell that than matri-
mony.
PRETTY nearly all men are benevolent
when it don't cost them much. Tom
Jones never sees poor John Smith suffer
but he thinks Sam Rogers ought to help
him.
A VERY absent-minded individual be-
ing upset from boat in the river, sunk
twice before he remembered that he could
swim. He fortunately remembered it
just before he sank the third and last time.
A great invention is memory.
A COUNTRY girl was split from wag-
on at Columbus, Ohio, and had all her
fnery mussed and dirtied She lay some
time insensible. Her first trembling ex-
clamation on recovering was II hope
there was no editor in sight!"
CABBAGE" says the Edinburgh Re
view, contains more Misunderstanding
nutriment than any other vegetable. -
This probably accounts for the fact of
there being SO many athletic fellows among
the tailors. sa
A TAvERN-KEEPER at Leigh, Lanca-
shire, has inscribed over his door, instead
of the usual pictorial notification, my
signs in the cellar" A man who lives
opposite says that folks who go into that
cellar always bring out the signs thereof
with 'em.
IT was Dow, Jr.-Saered to his memo
ry! who said that life is a country dance;
down outside and back; tread on the corns
of your neighbor; poke your nose every
where; all hands around; right and left.
Bob your cocoa-nut, the figure is ended.
Time hangs up the fiddle, and death puts
out the light"