, 1864-05-30

10 regard to the Teutonic beverage, {
correspondent sends the New York DispatcA
the following on Jacobs weakness fol
Lager"
at ish goot; ven | takes walk in d,
mornings, | takes 'ein glass bier unit den
takes anoder, unit den vun more-den
feel very goot all ofer. Ven | thinks nc
lager | feels pad, very pad; put | never
feels pad, cOs ] never dursn't thinks it.
Veil, den ! goes to work. Unit de corner
we're works is III Lager bier saIoon;' So
dere ltrinks again more, unit we're works
is de 'brewerie.' we're dey makes de bier,
unit dere thinks all day. Ven twelf O'Clock
goms ! ish dirshty, unit thinks so much as
likes; unt den | smokes, unit thinks unit
den smokes unit ! thinks, unit den ish vun
O'Clock, unt l makes more bier, unit den !
trinks, unit den | smokes unit drinks. So
ish slx o'clock, unit fills mine pals init
bier, unit goes home. But no thinks no
teal trinks Lager unit smokes-den ]
goes to Hans Hans house is de saloon;
so trinks init him, unit smokes, unit den
] trinks nit mineselt-unt den comes in
Harman unit We trinks unit We goes to The
ater,' unit dare sees Katrina, unit thinks
init she. So den hears do musicks, unit
den smokes unit trinks, unit | ,ees Fritz
unit Wilhelm, unt We smokes, den ve 'saur
krauts, unit trinks, unit dey says goot bye,
unit thinks. unit goes home. Ven walks,
falls, den ! smokes; den shwears unit
den gOms de statiun-house, den fights, den
gets in de police, den sees de Judge, den
| say how you dos, unt u say noting,
unit be say let ms go;' den g,,es, den
thinks met him, unit he trlnks init INC; den
goes home, INT hits mlne 'vrow,' unit |
trinks unit ! smokes, unit she crys, unit
sleeps"
Travellers through Central Vermont, in
days Of horse-fieSh and mail-stage, will re.
member Peter Bates, always called Uncle
Peter, who at one time kept an inn near
the center Of The State. He was a great
judge Of horseAesh.
Once a spirited young marc was ed up
To the hotel. Quite crowd sOOn gathered
to see her. The owner spoke Of her good
points, bOasted Of her speed, and said she
could trOt mile in three minutes. Pres
emily along came Uncle Peter, and hearing
the talk, carefully looked the mare over I;
and then, removing his short pipe, said:
Boys, ! don't see but one reason why
the mare can't trot mile In three min.
utes."
"What is i'll What is il, Uncle Pc
ter ." asked the young tyros, anxious To
learn from one Of such acknowledged skill
IN such matters.
"Why," said he, "the distance IS too
great for so so short time! !"
Wasn't there wild shout as soon as the
hearers could stake In" the wisdom of the
reply.
An old gentleman, who vas remarkable
for his p'osy powers. had disagreeable
habit Of talking continually of his "grey
pony" say what you would, IL was pretty
sure to be introduced. A gentleman, who
prided himself on bis conversational pow
ers, one day made a wager that no would
converse with the old fellow without allow.
ing him an opportunity Of "mount'ng bis
grey pcny," OF even introducing him. Soon
afterwards, the couple who had made the
wager met him at dinner, and the gentle.
man opened the conversation with the re-
mark,
"That'sa very fine piece of salmon you've
got there"
ayes, sir" said the octogenarian, "it's
pretty good; but whenever wish to enjoy
salmon in perfection, mount my little grey
pony, and"
"Hang your little grey ponyl" said the
other; shes cost me dozen Of wine aud
q supper u oysters for slx."
Girls, let u tell you o stubborn fact.
No young woman ever looks so well to
sensible man, as when dressed In plain,
neat, modest attire, without single urna-
iDent about her person. She looks then
as though she possessed worth ln herself,
and needed no artificial rigging to enhance
her value. liza young woman would spend
as much time in cultivating her mind, train
ing her temper, and cherishinP kindness,
meekness, mercy. and other good qualities,
o. most Of them do In extra dress and or.
naments, to increase their personal charms,
she would at glance be known among o
thousand-her character would be read In
her countepance. That's 50.
Mrs. Ellis thus speaks Of the hcklemind-
edness Ct the sisterhood generally:
"Alas for poor woman! she has never
oil she wants In husband. She AZORES q
manly man, and when she has got him she
feels lonely. She longs for a man who
will be her constant cUnpanion, always en-
tering into her inner feelings and sympa-
thizing with her in her weaker moments;
and when she gets him she despises him,
and pines for hero"
A young man who hid been apprenticed
d, butcher, shortly afterward wrote home
to his family thus:
III write these lines to let you know my
master is very well content with me: he
has already made me bleed several tunes,
and has told me that if ] stay with him |
shall cut our heads of q, Christmas"
A lady making inquiries Of boy about
his father. an intempera.e man, who had
been sick for some tima, asked whether be
had regained his appetite.
mo ma'am," replied the hopeful, "not
exactly-his appetite is very poor, but his
drinketite is as good Us ever"
We chew tobacco, the Hndoos take
line, tie children OF this country delight