The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1864-07-18
Monday Morning, July IS, 1864.
From the New York Mercury.
DOUBTFUL JOSHUA.
by EZRA OLIVER WENDELL.

BY EZRA OLIVER WENDELL.
The .'ituation was this, so far as IL is not con
traband to tell at once; Joshua badger had had
q fall from a haycock when he was very young,
and il bun ped his head some, and made him
otherwise ieel unpleasant; but no serious con-
sequences " ere supposed to have occurred to
him at the tlne, as his pretty face was not
marred, aud he ate heartily, and his sleep was
sound Immediately afterward. But as he grew
up his graz father said that that fall had made
him ovey-ca utious and undecided. His grand
mother died, and when his parents followed
suit Joshua thought he could do no better
than to hire out to Farmer Daisy, who had one
wife and two daughters.
Lena was two years older than Joshua, and
Fatima was two younger; and one day, when
Joshua was twenty, he leaned upon his hoe by
the pigsty:: and thus considered:
"Let me see. / am pretty fellow, and
which do love best, Lena or Fatii1a? have
lived for several years in this small LNnily, and
am a likely young man, as l am likely to live
one year longer, and then be twenty-olNe. But
have my doubts which ought to marry. or
course, could have either, but which? lena
Is older and leaner and Fatima is younger and
fatter. But here am in doubt. Should a wife
be older or younger than her husband? Ifshe
lis older, doesn't she have more experience? If
inuc Is lOuuStIs l3u eut likely 10 Uiiuu Hilu
better? This Is one set Of doubts. Then here
comes another set. A wife ought to be healthy,
as it costs less. But which promises most
health. fat or lean? Some say lean, some say
fat. For my part, / have leaning towards
fat, which would be Fatty. But then it Is .
doubt whether Fatty, in four years wouldn't
be as lean as Lena-perhaps leaner. Time
tries all anas again, Lena might pick up, and
grow fat again: and then again, she might not
be so well of a. he Is now. They are about
e7ual In other respects. am much troubled
10 choose between ID, >se two Daisys. But per-
hans love Is the main hing. and guess I'll
wait nd have the one wh o loves me best. But
how TO go to work and find out? must plan
q plan"
When ,ext the doubtful sw ain found them
together. he told them, in conf fence, that he
was going to get married, but ouik not say
to whom, a nd he now watched the effect upon
them.
Lena loo ked grave, and Fatima laughed at
him.
This eau se d him q new set of doubts, and he
felt vexed at BOTH.
"This is ha rder work than farming. What
do these girls mean? Perhaps Lena looks
sour because she's jealous, which shows she
loves me. A nd perhaps Fatty laughs, and
pretends she don't care, in order to hide her
love. And pc rhaps she snickered because she
thinks am &C ing 10 have her. ought to be
very careful, b owever. mustn't be rash, or
may take the wrong one. Iwish one would
die, and then there would be no bother. But
which one? I can't say. / wish wasn't in
love. But which do | love best? for that
amounts to something. l don't know. l
shan't understa nd myself till / understand
them. And then, perhaps, the one / loved
would give me the mitten as soon as showed
love. And t'other might love me better.
And perhaps the one that loved me most
wouldn't be the best for me. And perhaps the
one that said she loved me would only say so
to take the shine of her sister, and so l should
be deceived. This love is avery unpleasant
piece of business, and already it has placed me
in state of most doubtful uncertainty. l
have tried one plan, and am in more doubt
than ever. But, Joshua badger keep on !,
\ 'oull get at the rights OF 1t at last. Plan an
OF her plan"
:, The effects of the haycock, according to his
yrsi ldmother's prophecy, became more and
aore visible in the cautious proceedings OF
the a oubtful Joshua. His next experiment
was tt ascertain which OF the two sisters had
the SO undest, steaqiest mind, so that she
would be the less liable to change after he had
acceptes ner.
Ha made each present OF kitten, that each
net light test the affection Of their natures.
He " atche the about equal degree of fond
nass estou ed upon the animals; and when
he tho, ight 10 We was established in that quar-
ter he !, tole the. N away, and found that Fati-
ma show led the Greatest concern, mourning
for a Voc < and tea ring more clothes in the
hunt.
But this plung, I'd hin into more doubt.
Gas 20 th,s kitfen s-kittens may be no rule
to judge by. Fatty may love kittens, while
Lena NAV be more D. vtial to dogs and men
This is great ,considera ton, Tor loss which
is no loss shoul not be uucn clieu apou'
and besides, perl laps those Sno se ~ m.ap,
ped up 10 dumb 'oeasts may n. hsse ono"sl !,
tenderness to sp are for their ssh,s., ;,
is fortunate that l have such tpousului
turn of mind, or my good looks nnsn. oe
the ruin of me. / must plan anoti. el pau
aud L will try th cir affection toward me-
/ will get up little game of jealoul'y De,
tween them, and see which suffers most, alu
piles in the victuals in the unhappest MAJ
nen- 1 shall pity them, but / am acting for
sher peace OF mind In the future. So /
will begin by taking Lena TO the hoss-race to-
morrow" -,
Lena saw the show and went home with
Joshua in high spirits, while Fatima delighted
Nim by smashing plate at his feet when ne
returned. aud leaving his bed unmade and his
handkerchief unhemmed. Continuing his ex-
elusive attention TO the elder sister for time
the cunning Joshua perceived by her increas-
ing sulkiness that he was breaking the hear
OF the neglected one; and so commenced up
on the opposite tack, by turning his back up
on Lena and going to a candy-scrape anc
quilting party with Fatima, and picking sc
many posies for her aloLe, that Lena actually
broke the vase, and refused to make the usu
al seven turn-overs for him-one for each day
in the week-when she superintended the bak
ing.
II don't mind the turn-overs,, unused Josh
ua, gravely, but 1t is time to turn over new
leaf with these here two girls. i don't Sc,
that / have proved anything yet. Which
showed the greatest love by showing the
+. reatest spite? II the turn-overs Offset thu
fss ndkerchief, think the vase is about equa
go he plate. And it's about nip and tuck il
~Sha respects They're both ugly enough
when they're mad-and, after all, is spite
sure q, 'gn of love? II either was my wifi
wou,so she be In danger OF banging m
headi Y hey havn't got to harming me yet
n,nt theY ;, hight, when they felt more intimate
I think ma no use to 60 all round Robin
harm when vo u can go straight In at the door
i think the bes,' plan will be to ask them bot
together, which ~ the deepest in love wit
me. The old folks are going to prayer-mee
ing tonight, and WI " do my moral duty
home by speaking squal out.
While the two sullen si-'ters were picKin
beans and pairing apples that evening, at q
posite ends of the kitchen, JOSHUA suddenl
stopped whiting, shut up his jack -kniie, an
told them he had been experimenting VIII
both and what WAS on his mind.