The Nashville daily union. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1862-1866, 1864-11-12
gaaBllrille @(aiOa.
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER i, 1864
How 70 Nake -FrIeads UncomfarlabIe.



The same utterance may be an i'm
pertinence, an unpalatable truth, or q
disagreeable thing, according to time
and circumstances For example in q
fit OF absence, we perpetrete some sole
cism in dress or behavior. 1t is unyyel-
come truth to be told it, while there Is
yet opportunity for remedy or partial
remedy; 1t Is an imDertinence TO be in
formed of it by a stranger who has no
right 10 concern himself with our
affairs; it is a disagreeable thing when
the occasion past-our friend enlight-
ems US about it, simply IS piece Of in
formation. We all of US, no doubt,
have friends, relations and acquaintance
who think il quite a sufficient reason
for saying thing, that is true. Proba-
bly, we have ourselves known the state
of mind in which we find 8 certain fact
or opinion a burden. a load TO be got
rid of; and under the gross mistake
that all truth must be spoken, chat i Is
uncandid and dangerous not to deliver
a stimony-convinced that truth, ike
murder, will out. and that our friend,
sooner or later, must learn the unac-
ceptable fact-We come to the conclu-
sion that it is best for all parties to GET
the thing over by being ourself the
executioner We have most of us acted
the cntant terrible at some time or other.
But this crude simplicity Of candor,
where it is the result of the mere blind,
intrusive assertion of truth, is real
weight; and the primary law of polite
ness, never to give unnecessary
pain, as soon as IL is apprehended,
is welcomed as deliyerer. Chill
dren and the very young have
not experienced enough for any
but the most limited sympathy,
and can only partially compare feel
iDgs Of others with their own. Indeed,
the idea of the comparison does not oc-
cur 20 them But there are people, who,
in this respect, remain children ell their
days and very awkward children, too,
who burst with a fact as the fool with
his secret, and, like the hair dresser in
Leeche's caricature, are impelled to tell
us that our hair is thin at the top,
though nothing whatever is to come of
the communication. These, as Sydney
Smith says, turn friendship into sys-
tenn of lawful and uBpunisheble impert-
inence, from, so far as we can see, no
worse cause than incontinence of fact
and Communicating it to be sufficient
and triumphant defense Of every per
petratiOn Of the sort, that it, is true
Why did you tell Mr. So-and-so that
his sermon was fifty minutes long?
why did you remind such a one that
he is growing fat and old2' Because
he Is" Why repeat that unfavora-
bic criticisnY q had Just read it
Why disparage this mans particular
friends p Al don't like them" "Why
say to that young lady that her dress
was unbecoming2' | really thought
so" 1t is, however, noticeable in per
sons OF this obtrusiye caBdor, that they
have eyes for blemishes only. They
are never impelled to tell pleasant
truths, from which, no doubt, we may
infer a certain acerbity of temper,
though these structures may be spoken
in seeming blunt, honest good humor
Still, they talk in this way from natu-
raj obtUseness and inherent defect of
sympathy.