The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1864-05-18
A Minnesota ne. WedI,dlIiiiInuag..g lin e

| In the semi-rurals district of iWinona
on the Minnesota side of the Mississippi
River, lives Jolly fellow fla Justice O.
the peace, whose ideas of matters are very
much like the current Of the deep river
once stated in any direction it is hard tc
turn them. One day lately, after the 1(
by II law dispensarS had been swept, the
chairs setin short row against the side
of tho Office, and several whipped guilds
of tobacco and mutilated cigar stubs had
been kicked under the stove, there. was
a wooden step on the stairs,, and vigor.
Gus knock at the door. s9soFoo .sgV- .
Come in,f said the justice, as he settled
into the look befttiag,a man of law, duly
elected to dispense the favors of the blind
goddess. ~ -
A stout woman entered. She had on
short wooden dress, wooden shoes sported
red cheeks, black hainjand eyes that snap
ped like the lock of o short-gun. With
a Portuguese accent, and in the worst pos
sible English she said:
you law man?'
yes; madam-be seated
want paper. Want paper to take
man. .4
just then a stout French half breed en-
tered the ROOM He was unable to speak
half dozen words of English, and look
ed either scared or bashful The Judge
saw at once that there was marriage to
come off, and said to the woman, who
stood with compressed lips watching the
justice and the door.
want paper to take this man p
'Yes, want paper. Me teach him.
Nice woman, thought the justice lie
no good man. Me take him SO quick he
can. ss.
All right, my covies-fx you in the
jerk ofa lambs TAIL he muttered, as he
turned to the man and said:
Y GU know this woman-can you take
her?' .,st
The man shook his head and uttered
unintelligible words. g.e.s
'Ah, see. CAM talk English. Never
mind. e se
He ran into the street, and invited a
few friends up stairs, and on returning
with them, said to the woman:
You want to take this man for better
or for worse p
Yes,s me want to, take him. Me
pay
'All right Then turning to the man
who stood trembling: 5fesAs So
You take this woman for better or for
worse, and promise to keep her, etc.
'Umph, and several mods OF the
head. as 500 eag
Then, in the name of the law, and by
virtue OF the authority in me vested,
pronounce you man and wife, and he
stepped forward before the woman could
say word and kissed her red lips
Slap come her hand in his face, and she
clutched his hair. The new husband
jumped in to take the woman away, to
project her as he supposed, when, in self
preservation, she hit him a rap on the
nose. t
The woman pitched into the new hus-
band, who in turn pitched into her, and
Cor about FIVE minutes there was general
hustling. ad
At last the parties were separated, when
the man and woman took another turn at
each other, and the blood and hair few
in all directions Down went the stove,
over went the table, clatter went the
chairs, and into the street like a madman
went the Justice with a black eye, and
the bosom of his shirt looking like war
ranty deed covered with red seals. sl
The newly married couple were separa-
fted,Y when, through the aid of two inter
prefers, it was discovered that the night
before, the parties, occupying adjoining
shanties in the lower part of the town
had got in quarrel over a stove pipe
which was claimediby both, and from
words they came to blows. Each party
hurried to the justice Office in the morn
ing for warrant for the other, and the
resultIhad been that our justice had buck
led them together as man and wife. Per
haps the punishmentwas merited, but thu
belligerents couldn't see it., and went il
search Of another justice to unmarry then
while the general cause of their terrible
lsquabble was bathing hissbunged eye il
camphor and whisky. 11ianai y}s
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