American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1864-11-16
WIT AND WISDOM.

som? Because it goes down.
ONE who is half man, half dog, will
bow to the rich and bow-wow to the poor.
WHY do hens always lay in the day
time? Because at night they become
ROSTERS
THE more we know the less we say
| At death man arrives at immense
knowledge, and doesn't open his mouth.
WHY isn't joint stock company like a
watch? Because it does not go on after
it is wound up.
WHEN does severe cold resemble a
brilliant idea When it comes into ones
head suddenly.
WHAT was Christopher Colon when he
had only half got his growth? A semi
colon, of course
A LADY who sings in choir, says she
will marry a small man, because short
metre hims are the easiest to get along
with.
Ir a woman could talk out of the two
corners of her mouth at the same time,
there would be good deal said on both
sides.
A MAN, on being told that a certain
l. IL g Inlf =
said, "Tll take two of them and save it
ALL"
al HAVE gone into the silk business, J"
said man to his neighbor.
$50 l supposed, as l saw you reeltng
towards home last night"
WHAT is the difference between per-
son transfxed with amazement and
leopard's tail? The one is rooted to the
spot, the other spotted to the root
SOME mischievous wags one night pull
ed down a turner's sign and put it over
lawyers door; in the morning it read,
"all sorts of turning and twisting done
here"
A LEARNED doctor has given his opin-
ion that tight lacing is public benefit,
inasmuch as it kills off all the foolish girls
and leaves the wise ones to grow into wo-
men. e..
A JOCKEY, who incautiously burned
his finger by taking up his toast from the
fire, and broke the plate by letting it fall,
observed that it was too bad to lose the
plate after having won the heat.
WE once heard woman Of the orld
say, 81 the state of widowhood is-inconve-
nent for one must assume all the modes
ty Of a young girl, without being able to
icign her ignorance"
WHAT is the difference between the
Prince of Wales and a bombshel2 One
is heir to the throne, the other thrown to
the air. The Prince himself, on hearing
this, declared it to be simply a-bom-inable.
1ooK out for people who are habftual-
ly suspicious and ready to believe that
others act from bad motives. In many
cases the evil they attribute to others is
only what they feel inclined to do them
selves.
a WEALTHY but weak-headod barris-
ter once remarked to Curran, that " No
one should be admitted to the bar who
had not an Independent landed property"
May l ask, sir, " replied Curran, chow
many acres make piSe-acrc !"
SHERIDAN had very convenient for
mula for acknowledging all the new pub
locations that were sent him:
Dear sir, l have received your cx-
quisite work, and | have no doubt [ shall
be highly delighted-after l have read
it."
THE mind that has learnt things and
forgotten them is on a superior footing to
that which has never received the teach
ing. Most things learnt may be partially
forgotten in everything but the training
they have given. Cultivation is consis-
tent with great deal of ignorance.
A YOUNG pupil in the non resistant
school of philosophy was once elected to
the legislature, of course from one of the
interior counties. True to his principles.
he drew up bill abolishing all punish
ment for crime, and then prepared anoth-
er forbidding people to commit crimes.
OLD Father Bushnell, of Vermont
used to say, that the best criticism he ev-
er received on his preaching was from
little boy who sat at his feet, looking up
into his face, as he was preaching to a
crowded house. As he was going on We
ry earnestly, the little fellow spoke out,
g You said that afore."
"PA, what is the interest of kIss?"
| aSL al oyaat Sivfaan- Of or siro