The weekly union record., 1864-10-01
The UNION RECORD.
COURTING.
EY JOSE EILLNGs.

Courting Is luxury, it is salad, it
is ise-water, it is the pla spell ov the
soul. The man who has never courted
haz lived in vane he has ben blind
man amung landscapes and water
shapes; he-has been ded man in the
land of hand Origins, and by the side ov
murmuring cannals. Courting IL Ike
2 little springs Of soft water that steal
out from under a rock at the fut Of
mountain and run down the hill side
by side singing and dansing and spat-
tering each uther, eddying and frothlng
and kaskading, now hiding under the
bank, now full of sun and now full Of
shadder, till bimeby tha jine and then
90 slow. am in favor ov long court
ing; it gives the parties chance to
find out each uther's trump kards, 1t Is
good exercise, and is just as innersent
as merino lambs. Courtin is ike
strawberries and cream, wants to be
did slow, then you git the flavor. |
hav saw folks git ackquainted, fall IN
luv, git marrid, settle down and git to
work, in weeks from date. This is
list the wa sum folks larn a traid, and
accounts for the great number ov al
mitey mean mecanacks We hav, and the
poor Jobs tha turn out.
Perhaps it is best shud state some
good advise tu young men, who are
about tew court with a final view to
matrimoney, as it was: In the fust
plase, young man, you want tn git yure
systim awl rite, and then find a young
woman who IS willing to be courted on
the square. The next thing is to find
out how old she IL, which yew can dew
by asking her, and she will sa that she
is 19 years old, and this yew will find
won't be far from out ov the way. The
next best thing is tew begin moderate !;
bay onse every mite in the week for the
first six months, increasing the dose az
the pashient seems tew require It. II
IL a fust rate wa TO court the girls
mother q lettle on the start, for there
is one thing a woman never despizes,
that IL a little good courtin, if it is
done strictly on the square. After the
sust year yew will begin tew be ac-
kquainted and viii begin to like the
dizziness. There is one thing alwus
advise, and that is, not to swop foto-
gratis oftner than onse in 10 daze unless
yew forgit how the gal looks. Okla
sionally yew want tew look sorry, and
draw in yure wind as tho yew had
pane, tn S will set the gal tew teazing
yew tew find out what ails yew.
Eevning meetings are good thing
tu tend, it will keep yure Religion in
tune; and then if the gal happens to
be thare, by acksident, she can ask yew
tew go hum with her. Az gineral
thing wouldn't brag on other gals
much when ! was counting; it mite
look as tho ycw knu tew mutch. lfyu
will court three years in this wa, awl
the time on the square, if yew don't
say it is a leetle the sickest time in
yure life, ycw can git measured for
hat at mi expense, and pa for it. Don't
court for mummy, nor buty, nor relash-
uns ; these things are just about az the
kerosene lie refining Dizziness, liable to
git out ov repair and bust at emmy min
ute. Court gal for fun, for the love
yu bear her, for the vartue and hizzi-
ness there IS in her; court her for
wife and for a mother; court her as
you would court farm, for the strength
ov the sile and the perteckshun Of the
title court her as tho she want fule
and yew a nuther; court her in the
kitchen, in the parlor, over the wash
tub and at the pianner; court this wa,
young man, and if yew don't git a good
wife the fault won't be in the courting.
Young man, yew can rely upon Josh
Billings, and if yu can't make these
rules work, Jest send for him and he
will sho yew how the thing is did, and
it shant kost yew a cent.