The Union. [volume] (Georgetown, Del.) 1863-1866, 1864-01-08
humorous Sketflt.
THE HAUNTED BED.
Wnr Mns dlclared |

would no longer bear the insolence of
number eight. These were the largest
sleeping-rooms in tn. school-house where
l boarded in the days when my face was
not bronzed by travel and when my legs
were considerably shorter, and my luxuri-
ant beard as yet an invisible dream. l
was thirteen, and the Oldest boy in the
room, except Slokins, who was sixteen,
though you would never have thought it
to look at him, for he was the shortest
boy in our class, and the stupidest. How
ever, he was very good fellow, and ready
enough for everything but fighting.
Our room was on the top-foor of the
house, SO we resolved to have grand boil
stering campaign, and, as preliminary
measure, proposed that somebody should
creep on all four: into No 8, and pull
Clinton seniors toe, then utter a war
whoop, and we would all rush in, pell-mell,
and give No. 8 fits-in word, come down
ON ther: like bricks.
But who is to do the creeping 2" said
Boxer, who was so clumsy that he could
never catch cricket-ball in his life, and
was the poorest shot at marbles ever
saw"
"Not you," said Stockleson, junior, a
small red-haired boy, who, like terrier,
would fight anything, however big, and
never leave off under uny circumstances.
"Not you, Boxer, you always stumble or
knock something over"
"Who then r said Twigsy, the boy who
was so delicate that he was ordered IA glass
Of port wine every day to keep up his
stamina, and who was always kissing little
Lucy, the masters daughter, in the shrub
berry, and who used to buy brandy and
bring it into the bedroom at night, in
soda-water bottle, and give it to us to drink
out Of the shell of cocoanut
"Why, Slokins, of course, because he's
the Oldest" shouted Tom Crisp.
eyes, Slokins for !" cried the whole
room in chorus.
But Slokins would not go, so 1, as leader
of the expedition, finally volunteered to
undertake the hazardous enterprise, and
off we started, marching noiselessly in In
dian file, holding 0Gr night shirts tightly
round us to prevent them from Enstllng
and each wftif his bolster over his sn0uiiucr'
prepared for the direst extrcmities.
/ halted within yard of the open door
Of No. 8, and, crawling like the " last
of the Mohicans," or the celebrated serpent
who tempted Eve, contrived to reach the
foot Of Clinton seniors bed, insert my
dexter hand under the bed-clothes, and
give his toe jerk which reused him like
galvanic shock from the embrace of an
incipient slumber.
"A-e-o-n-y !" squealed Clinton, 'who is
that Z" and he sprang out Of bed, but only
obe knocked down, instanter, by Twigsys
bolster
Immediately an immense slaughter took
place. AT the foot OF every bed in No. 8
was hero Of No. 6, whackins away like a
steam engine ut the PROSTATE form of his
victim. 1t was decided case Of surprise,
and some minutes elapsed before the enc
my rallied. No sooner, however, did they
recover from the first shock Of our insid-
ious attack, than out they tumbled, and
fought with the wilder exasperation from
their preliminary drubbing.
Sloklns, L am sorry to say beat an in
glorious retreat, and shortly afterwards
Clinton put the main body of our army to
flight, by meanly cutting at their legs with
his suspenders. But in the corridor, and
ON neutral ground, the fight yet ragged with
Homerle fury, and was ut the point OF ex-
element, when sudden flash OF llgh from
the well-known staircase warned us of the
approach OF third and yet more powerful
force. 1t was, in fact, the master, who
was already on tho last turn of the stairs,
and would inevitably be upon u. before we
could return to our dormitories.
| having been the last to retreat from
the camp Of the hostile forces, was now
behind all the rest Of the party, who had
mutely taken to their heels anu fle, madly
up the passage towards No. s. Seeing,
therefore, that escape was impossible,
resolved, like second Horatius, to defend
the staircase, and commenced by launch
ing nay bolster over the banisters. Falling
plump upon the head Of the ascending
master, and extinguishing his light, 1t was
a perfectly successful operation. l was
snug in bed like the rest by the time he
had obtained fresh candlestick, and re-
turned to the attack.
:" What boy threw that bolster ?" said
the deep-toned voice of DIR Whack ham.
Silence.
81 say who Mre,o that bolster ?" reiter-
ated the doctor. "Why don't you speak!"
Nobody spoke or gave any reason for not
doing so.
'l'll soon find out," said the angrypeda-
gogue. "Twiggs, where's your bolster 2"
"Here, sir"
"And yours 7"
"Here, sir"
Sand yours?"
"Here, sir"
He had at length satisfied himself of the
presence Of every boys bolster but mine,
and all clearly foresaw that the exposure
OF the culprlt was at hand and that, if
virtue was not Immediately rewarded, vice
stood an admirable chance of being sum
marily punished.
Mr.. Franklin Lafayette Hopscotch,
where is your bolster, if you plea sc ?" said
Whackham sardonically, bringing his can
die to lear upon my devoted bed.
"Here, sir" said 1, cheerfully, to the
utter amazemeRt of every boy ip the room