The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1864-10-07
sILLOTI0Bs FROM PUNCH"


a QUESTION ron NorEs ,ND QurRms.-Sup.
posing you found q precnback would you,
when found, be able by any means 10 make
note Of III
HIS GRANDWorHER Poor thing very pain
fur said old Mrs. Bowline grandmother OF the
lrmentCd Tom BOwlinc, the darling Of his crew,
on reading letter from her nautical relation,
wherein be told her that he had seen the needles
right In the eye Of the wind.
LATEST PROM PARTs.-Mon cher P,mch-This
is for you. Make my compliment 70 Madame.
Please TO accept, &c, sentiments, Nc, distln-
guisbed consideration, &C. LOUIS N,
Quand IN CANT resscm mblc-t-il au numcro % :
Quand II est nouf ct tres etrOit. (You sec
Neuf ct treizc ct tros.)
RAILWAY MoRALs.-Guard-" Now, Miss
Arc you going by this train Z"
Miss Rebccca-(aged 3O.-"Yes; but must
have q carriage where there are no young men
likely TO be rude to one"
RIDDLE picked up during the very last ball Of
the season. Suppose you tnd Captain Cooiug
and Miss Billing together, in a convenient flirting
corner, "sitting OUT q quadrle. Why is that cir
cumstance remarkably like two o'clock In TIC
mornings Because it's two, a-hem (OhD
A FRIENDLY LITTLE ARucLB.-We are told
by AlphOnse Karr that Friendship between two
Won't is always a plot against third" We
deny IL, as we always make a point Of denying all
the spitetul things that are said against the beau
tiful sex. And what is the friendship between
two men, we should like to know If we had
Lne lnCInHJlOn 10 DC cynical, unuer the ueCeliul
notion that we were being extremely clever, we
might answer :-"FTlendship between two men
is continual struggle as to which Of the two
shall do the other" We are afraid we are not
the only persons in this world who labor under
the melancholy conccit that, to be clever, we have
only 10 be cynical
DIFFERENT WAYS OF TRAVELLING. Man
travels TO expand his ideas; but woman, judging
from the number of boxes she invariably takes
with her. travels only with the object Of expand
ing her dresses.
The RIGHT STREET.-THE Bishop of Limoges
has been publishing a Pastoral. The publication
could not be better timed, for il our ancient
knowledge of quadrillcs be correct, La Pastorale
comes directly after Lite.
CABBY AT HIS CLUB.-Hansom Cabby (lo2O-
"Vel, / always likes TO get a gent as is
smOkn'; for yer see bad 'bacca and bad fare goes
together, and wicey- -wcrsey. So jest smells the
gent , through the trap atop, and drives him
accordn'l"
HnPoPHAGYAoAGN.-One ofthe secretaries of
the French Society for the Protection Of Animals,
in lecture given the other day in Paris at the
Garden Of Acclimation, revived the proposal to
constitute horsefesh and article OF food, demon
stIating its acceptability with tureen Of horse
soup, and another dish of that noble animal
dressed Ia dau6e, which he offered to his
audience, and they, including many ladies,
deVoured. Well, who shall tax them with eating
strange food If ell the prime tongues, ready
cooked, on sale at our British groCers', could
speak, and would tell the truth, we apprehend
that not a few of them would neigh. There Is
support, doubtless in saddle of horse but, for
eating, We are disposed to prefer saddle of
mutton"
WHAT WE LEARN IN FoREIeN PARTs.-Wheu
last we were in Paris, we strolled into the Paais
de Justice, and soon found ourselves wandering
in the famous Sale des Pas Perdus. On inquiring,
we discovered that the Sale des Pas was not
intended rs companion refuge TO the Champ do
Mars and we also learned that the Pas Perdus
were in no way paternaly related to the EnfautS
Irouves. These facts were no less new than
pleasing to us, and so accordingly we have made
note of them"
REToRT THAT is LITTLE TOO SPIRIrBp.-
Retaliation in commerce, as in other things,
sometimes takes a most savage form. Now look
at India, how we treat her in our commercial
relations Because India sends us her cotton
badly ginned, is that any reason, we ask, why
we shCuld send her our sherries so fearfully
branded
AFTER-DINNER PAPERs.-My Dear Misser
Punch Circonsters overwhich no control -
prevented my father whom you pointed your
Settle Crospondent from writing you long
count OF the weather of Last Month. He forgotit
ill last mOment afer dinner and being tooflttg yjI
tired to write himself we had a third bottle of
twenty-can't gettit nOwday sand he dep-p puted
me to write from his diction l mean dictanon.
Here it is.
amYr Sisterly--no Sincerely,
THOMAS Buzz, JUNIOR.
REVIEW OF WEATHER FOR JULY.-During the
past month, there was restless wind that blew
down its own smoke, and took off the edge of the
meridian with its own plane.
In the morning, attenuated nimbi dwindled into
luminous canopy, whose height was 5000 feet
above the sea-leYe
Cumuli and cirrhi gave themselves up to the
full development of ozone while Summer Me-
teoric PhosphoTescent Trains met the Radiating
Steamers within five minutes of each other.
Thermometer in the Sun at 430 p. NJ. (HoW
1t got there, no one knOws.-B., JUNR.)
AT midnight, on the 18th, the Rev. + G.
hobart, of FTant, shot with considerable velocity
across Ursa Ma jor and disappeared after traVers-
ing an approXimdted space. (Guv'nor go Il his out
OF the Times, thinking.-BUZz, JUN'R
On the following morning the wind returned 10
France. and, in test slip, tell between wet and
dry bath, showing some external signs Of dis
cOlorttlon.
Ii will be seen by reference to the tabe. (At
this point made a reference TO the table. Ny
respected parent had disappearC d. Yours, &C.,
%. JUN'R.)
STARTLING CRUELTY.-A well-known uphol-
steTer, whose name shall not be held up 10 liyer-
sal eNeCration, because this course could not be
adopted without putlery, undertook the contract
for Keeping wcll-tuInished, repairing, and redcco-
rating the Ophthalmic Hospital. We accidentally
caught sight of the bill for the current year. One
OF The largest items recurring over and over again
was "Rods for the Blind" Shall the unfortunate
and helpless be hogged for their mIsfortunes
under our very noses, under oar very eye-lashes
Shame Shame