The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1864-10-22
JOTT NGs FROM PUNCH"


RrrREsnMEET-B oous.--"O, Swallow, Swallow,
| flying, flying South"
| THE TRAVELLERS CLUB-Wc never heard Of
1t, unless it's an AlpcnsoCk.
| EeCGBsGAsTICAL.-Docto Manning, Roman
Catholic Provostof Westminster, lately preached,
we hear, most touching sermon. Most of his
| male auditors were in tears II was remarked at
the time that "this was not like Doctor NJ Awnings
usual style; that it was, in fact, un-mGnning."
From BADEN BADRN.-oAll the world is at
| Baden Baden" wrote a correspondent to M.
| Bismarck. "That can hardly be- said the
minister, "seeing that I've sent the dcmi-monde
away"
THB BRANCH STATION.
Mss TrenfaleS (who is nervous about railways
| generally aud especially since the late outrages).
| "Oh, Porter put mo into n carriage where there
ale ladies, or respectable people, Or"
| Porter. "Oh, you're all safe this mornin',
Miss; you're tn only passenger in the Who'll
| tr'ine, except another old woman"
| PAVED WITH GOLD.
Asked Mr.. Disraeli, the other day,
| year there had teen Gold Dralnst'
| We hardly know, but we think that England
would have been very much astonished, and
| would have believed that in laying them down a
first step was being taken to realize the provincial
| idea of London, whose streets are paved with
gold The question illustrates the gorgeous
| Oriental imagination Of the Conservative leador.
PROM DENMARK.
| From Somebody Rise's Special Correspondent
The Danish clergy, as is generally known, are
entrusted with secular Offices You are not, per-
| haps, acquainted with the fact that Il clergyman
| may possess the highest military dignity. That
such, however, is tho case, am informed by
member of the court, who tells me that, among
| the distinguished personages who were awaiting
| the arrival of the Prince and Princess of Wales,
J at the Christianborg Palace, there was General
| Reverence.
NEW IDEA IN BTHNoLoGY.
According to distinguished explorer OF
| Africa, the Makoolos justify cattle stealing by
| the argument that those who cannot keep their
| cattle have no right to have them. This is ex-
| actly Rob Roy's logic, and suggests an affinity
between the Makololos and McGregors What
s the orthography of the former clans name2
Should it not be spet McCullolo5 That would
be very like McCulloch. Radically they must be
| the same names. The suppOsitiOn of an original
connection between the Land Of Cakes and the
Land of Negroes is corroboraed by the fact that
Scotland, well as Africa, abounds in Blaclkies.
ANOTHER RAILWAY ALARM.
Old Woman (as the train stops). Tell me, my
dear, what station is this ?
Little Boy docking out and seeing the name
whatever it may mean, written in large letters on
a conspicuous bOard). Pankibanon, Ma.
Old Woman (after satisfying herself with the
same inspection, begins screaming violently out
of the Window. Here Guard, Guard, say! l
don't want the PanlIlibanon Station. am going
on to Red Hill.
old lady is convinced that PanklibanOu is not
: the name of the station, but of some mysterious
!, article of manufacture, which no one has been
| able as yet to explain.
PROM OUR MUSICAL CRITIC.
= "I shay Punch oleAer I've Just been to Brum,
9 no, Birmingham, TO hear Singer-meau shay
a | Senior CUstas new Oratoro, and I'm qui intOX
L hicatCd with delight. OF course you know its
name is Ndme1,, no, thutsh not spet right is it ?
AND the muse-h icis worth napsin whenever you've
an operatunity. But shay isn't IL q q, no, mean
shay kewrous tribute to influence Of Schchu-
MANN u doe think that's righ either) the Senior
hon attn nrDnf n al Ma AN
/, q SbumaDnite
IS No time to shay more because it's after dinner,
% and the posth jush going, so l remain your5h
l. truly.
k Biessh me yes Of course qui forgot to sign my
)r name, bur you know war it is don't you blesht
4 If l can rcCOmember it,
SOLUTION OF a DIFFICULTY.
N Everybody knows that there are in existence
~ two skulls Of Oliver Cromwell and chat the
,o smaller one is satisfactorily explained by the
,r curator in charge thereof to have been good King
n divers skull when he was little boy. We have
in now somewhat parallel case. At the ArchgO-
~ logical Meeting at Warwick, Lord Denbigh
Va exhibited tue dagger with which FELTON, killed
m the Duke of Buckingham. Mr.. ThistIethwayte
v Of Hampshire has also the dagger with which
- the deed was DONE Were il necessary to choose
~ between the relics, we hope that we know our
a. place too well not TO give the verdict in favor o
90 the dagger belonging to the nobleman. But there
pi is no need for an inyidious selection. Feltor
a. was very determined man, and no doubt took
" dagger in each hand, and brought the bad duke
TO account by double entry. 1t is pleasant wher
an archaeological problem can DC so simply
"a solved.
IN CLUMSY CLOWN.
bt Itwould he public wrong were this advertise
an ment restricted TO the IpStOch Journal in which
II M. Punch finds it,
Ic, tg- MATRG@oNY.-A STEADY, RESPECTABLE
,' age whore ph! eau advises him to marry he having
no G IN income & SI. not % seeIt , 10 Keep hiTse and WE
in win lacy vi little further me- who he may
o. beauty no object Apply siang age aud parca
OF lars, l. d., Post Once, Ipswich
Many questions arise TO the mind of q cynical
and cold-hearted reader Of the above, but ii offers
ID, such attractions TO young ladies who wish to be
married (Which means, VIC hope, all young ladies
le- Who are single) that answers must have poured
rc IN by scores and criticism is useless. Yet why
does the interesting Invalid describe himself "as
L between "a Rnd 80 p This is very precise and
~ YET there is no precision. Doesn't he know how
=" old he is Why does he say that the age of the
lady is no object, and in the next sentence desire
ed her 70 state ii Did his doctor desire him 10 write
* the hirOcuus English about "the style he is now
living and is the medical mau guilty OF the pas
cl- sHge "WLO he may make his wife {" Aud was II
,ut the doctors impudencc or the patients thai
prompted an invitation 10 a "kind and cheerful
he girl 10 Ink herself for life TO selfish, iguoran
by fellow, who wants an unpaid nurse with money
- MI Punch laughs at many oddities Of advertise
- mCnt but there be some which excite his wrath
~ This would be ore, but that he feels that justice
a. will he done on patient in the hands of the sor
woman,
, -Plglch has poem about the "TurkOphonei
Dy the new instrument introduced at Alfred Mel
I'M Ions promenade concerts, from which we borrow
s' these sanzss, to be sung 70 the tune of "Th
co. lOW-BsCLed Carr
10 Mr.. Melons concerts
u lWcut Tie other DAY,
ng Il should say night), twas that might
,or Hear his musicians plays
But the programme told me what / had
Before that time rot known,
Nv That among the men there All Ben
.To Who would play on ms TurkCph
- Now what was his TurkOphOne9
VI CuuuntmAkC out own;
gCt asked all az Ound, but % could be found
Who was up n the 1urkophone,
- didn't mind ROssnl,
~ wearied OF Mozart;
IN And The worst OF blTes considered the pause
hu INlNt the urHt and second part,
"a ! grew 90 aaitated that
scarce could stand RUngi
And cried out when VIII All Ben
led Come and play on his Turkuph0neI'
,ot On, what IS a TurkOphoneY
i"s cannot make out, own
On isNN.nd, 10 II string, oh, what sort OF a thhS
he Is this wonderful Turkophonef
ci- Twas very near eleven,
Mr.. Mellon gives rapi -, ,
And maa IN fez cries out 'Oh' yea
cal Like a foreign sort Of chap
mt And then was the great All Ben
- To the English public shoWni -
IN lie wa draae N IN ia beHti n Turkish vest