davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1864-12-02
Anecdoto of the Duke of wellington.

Mr.. Babbage, the inventor of the calculating
machine, has written a book which he calls
Passages from the Life of Philosopher? 1t is
rich in personal "reminiscences of distinguished
men. Here is bit of gossip about the Duke Of
Wellington, to whom Mr.. Babbage exhibited his
calculating machine:
When had concluded my explanation, Lady
Wilton, addressing me, said "Now, Mr. Bah
bage, can you tell me what was your greatest
difficulty in contrvng this machine?" l had
never previously asked myself that question, but
l knew the nature of it well. 1t arose not from
the difficulty of contriving mechanism to exc
cute each individual movement for ] had con-
contriyed very many different modes of execu-
ting each but it really arose from the almost
innumerable combinations amongst all these
contrivances-a number so vast that no human
mind could examine them all. 1t instantly oc-
CURED to me that a similar difficulty must pre-
sent itself to general commanding vast army
when about to engage in conflict with another
army of equal or greater amount. | therefore
thought it must have been felt by the Duke Of
Wellington, and determined to make kind of
psychological experiment upon him. Carefully
abstainng from any military term, | commenced
by explanation to Lady Wilton. | soon per-
ceived by his ccuntenance that the Duke was
in Imagination again in Spain. then went on
boldly with the explanation Of my own mechan-
ical difficulties, and when | had concluded the
Duke turned to Lady Wilton and said, 81 know
chat difficulty well.
At another time the Duke answered a rather
personal question:
Alta very small dinner party the characters of
the French marshals became the subject of con-
ve-sation. The Duke, being applied to- pointed
out freely their various qualities, and assigned
to each his peculiar excellence. One question,
the most highly interesting Of all naturally pre-
sented itself to our minds, ] was speculating
now could without impropriety, suggest it,
when to my great relief one of the party, ad-
dressing the Duke said ''Well, sir, howwas
it that, with such various great qualities you
licked them ALL one after anotherY The Duke
was evidently taken by surprise He paused
for moment or two, and then said swell,
I don't know exactly how it was; but ] think
that if any unexpected circumstance occurred
in the midst of a battle which deranged its
whole plan, [ could perhaps organize another
plan more quickly than most Of them"
, 1864-12-02

CURIOUS DETECTIoN.-Not long ago there oc-
Cured in Prussia one of those cases of detec-
ton of crime by scientific means, which inter-
est a large and intelligent class of readers. A
quantity of gold packed in bexes, was dis
patched by railway train. On arrival at its
destination, it was discovered that the gold had
been stolen from some Of the boxes, which
were reflled with sand to make up for the def
cient weight Measures were at once taken for
the discovery of the thief, and that no chance
might be lost, Professor Ehrenberg was request
ed to make microphic examination of the sand
The Professor (who is a member of the Academy
of Sciences at Berlin, well known for his re-
searches into minnie objects, and his compari-
son of volcanic dust from all parts of the
world asked that a quantity of sand from eve
ry station by which the train had passed, should
be sent to him. Examining these one after an
other, he at last came to a sand which was iden-
tical with that found in the gold boxes. The
name of the station whence this sand bad been
collected, was known, inquiries were set on foot
at that station, and among the persons there
employed the thief was detected The incident
is one which an expert novel writer make might
use of with effect.
, 1864-12-02

Daniel Webster used to relate the following
anecdote Of Father Searls, the minister of his
boybood. As was the custom in those days the
old gentleman used to wear buckskin breeches
in cold weather, and on getting his pair one
Sunday morning from an attic in which they had
been hanging during the summer, be found
nest Of wasps in them. By dlligent labor he
succeeded in removing the intruders, as he sup
posed, and started for church. Just as he was
in the middle Of his services some of the insects
still remaining, gave him pierce, which caused
him to jump and slap his thigh. Such treatment
infuriated them, and the more he jumped and
slapped, the more they stung.
The congregation began to think he was era
zy, but he soon explained the trouble by saying
"My hearers, don't be alarmed the word of the
Lord is in my mouth, but the-deyil is in my
breeches p
, 1864-12-02

FIRST USE OF CHIMNEYs IN FNGLAND.-Not un-
til perhaps about the l4th century was a real
chimney seen in England; previous to this the
dwellings of even the opulent must have been
miserable places in so far as regards domestic
comfort. when compared with that which is
usually uppermost in the modern mind In the
middle of the spacious halls ofour ancestors was
placed the hearth, upon which stood the and
irons, where horizontally lay the ends of the
brands, of which by means of a heavy two
pronged fork were arranged in the best form for
throwing cut light and heat. On the roof, over
the hearth, was turret or tower, filled with
boards, disposed in such manner as to exclude
the wind and rain, and allow the smoke to es
cape. In this gaunt and aguish apartment" "
says a writer on this subject, heated by a single
fire, the company were in a position not much
from what they would be in the open air; not a
particle ot5eated air could add to their comfort
fer las9ssss pi b 7nced it escaped through the
louver Light was the only soace the greater
number could derive from the blazing fuel; and
the few who we're in a situation to feel the ra-
diant heat were incommoded by the current of
cold air. sweeping like hurricane along the
floor towards the fire. From the height of the
louver and low temperature of the smoke few
of the buOyant fakes of charcoal fond their way
into the atmosphere, and the larger the bonfire
the thicker the layer of SCOT deposited upon
each individual. Boisterous weather also
brought its annoyance; had the fire been made
in the open field they might have moved from its
miseries." AS it with our ancestors before
the invention of chimneys, so was it with the
Greeks and Romans who with all therar and
learning, their fine minds, elegant tastes, lofty
ideailsm, and beautiful forms and faces, must
have presented but indifferently cleanly exteri-
ors after having been exposed a while to the
smoke of their own dwellings-7he Sanitary Re-
porter.
, 1864-12-02

THE HUMAN MND.-The elasticity of the hu-
man mind is one of its most extraordinary quail
tiles. The man who at any time is capable of
resting quietly on his pillow with the manage
ment and fate Of a nation in his hands, is at an
other distracted, harassed, and distressed by the
probable event of horse race. A woman who
has borne misfortunes with fortitude and resig-
nation, viii be agitated; tortured, and torment
ed, by the recollection ofa single word look or
action of her own, or Of some other individual
to which no human being, besides themselves
would attach the smallest importance.
, 1864-12-02

There are nearly ITO, 900 words in the Eng
lish language, originally belonging to it, Dor
rowed and imported. OF these not more thar
l0, 900 are in ordinary use.
, 1864-12-02

Merit has rarely risen of ITSELF but apebble or
twig is often quite sufficient for it to spring from
to the highest ascent. There is usually some
baseness before there is any elevation.
, 1864-12-02

IMPORTANT IF TRUE.-The world is coming TO
an end in 1865. Professor Nehmayer, of Munich
says so. He adds that a comet will run against
the earth and absorb it, as one drop Of mercury
absorbs another.
, 1864-12-02

German writer gives the following "a
young gil is fishing rod - to make all COM
pete be AYERS the eyes to be the hook, the smile
to be the bait, the lover the gudgeon, and "mar-
riage the butter in which he is fried"
, 1864-12-02
DENTISTRY
DR. JIM, A. M. NJ d., PHYSICIAN AND

DR. JIM, A. NJ. NJ. D., PHYSICIAN AND
Surgeon-Graduate of the Imperial Medical In
stIute of China, and formerly resident Surgeon Of
the Imperial Hospital for men, women and children
in the City of Canton, China. The public may rest
assured that cases of disease and sickness committed
10 his professional care, whether in town at a dis
tance in the country, shall receive his unremitng
attention. with every advantage that his skill and
perience can afford He returns his thanks to the
citizens of the city and the county of Waa Wala for
their former very liberal patronage. Office on Main
street. opposite Captain Jacks Empire Restaurant.
Office hours from A to II NJ. and from l P. NJ. to
P NJ.
The best Family Medicines always on hand Give
me a call and try my medicines; then you can speak
for Yourselves. IJunel7 1868. 27m3
, 1864-12-02

Jennie June, in her recent "Talks on Women's
Topics, says that in almost every instance
where man marries a sensible woman, it is af-
ter he has met with a severe disappointment in
not marrying fool.
, 1864-12-02
NUMBER 81.

FEyER.-What is fever? Simply process of
publication. Feyers not intrinscally dam
gerous. Nearly all the danger results from the
erroneous manner in which they are ordinarily
medicated. The terrible typhus or typhoid fe-
yer, of which SO many people are said to be con-
tnually dying, is not in itself dangerous. No
person can have fever, unless there are obstruc-
tons in his system. though to be remoyed and
the fever is the attempt to remove them. So far,
therefore, it is dangerous not to have a fever,
provided the causes exist. There may be cir
cumstances or complications which will render
the remedial effort nevertheless. No one should
allow himself to be stimulated in a fever
A fever is process Of publication; it should
be rather aided, assisted and regulated fe-
veris not substance but an action-a disturb
ance 1t not an enemy, but rather friendly
defender-a something to be directed rather than
destroyed We sometimes hear that person
has had "attack" of fever. The expression
is absurd
, 1864-12-02

A Printers CoURT.-The printing fraternity
in this portion Of the country appears to be in
favor. The newly elected Probate Judge j. NJ
Shepherd, the County Clerk, and Clerk of said
Court VIM. A. Daily, and the Sheriff, o. A..
Bowen, are all typos. Nothing like printers
luck.-IdohO World.
, 1864-12-02

One ofthe Richmond papers estimates that the
number of destitute widows and orphans, made
such by the war in Virginia alone, is sixty thou
sand, and says they will mostly be charger on
public charity, owing to the want Of employ
ment.
, 1864-12-02

MANAGING Husband How do you manage
your husband, Mrs. Croaker? Such job as |
have of it with Smith"
easiest thing in the world, my dear; give
him a twitch backward when you want him to
go forward. For instance, you see, to-day 1 had
a loaf of cake to make Well, do you suppose
because my body is in the pastry room my soul
need be there too? Not a bit of it. | am think
ing of all sorts of celestial things all the while.
Now, Croaker has a way of tagging round at
my heels, and bringing me plump down in the
midst Of my aerial flights, by asking me the price
of sugar I am using. Well you see, it drives
me frantic and when woke up this morning
and saw this furious storm, knew | had him on
my hands for the day unless | managed right; so
told him that l hoped he wouldn't go out to
catch his death this weather; that if he was not
capable of taking care of himself should do it
for him. that it very lonesome rainy days,
and that wanted him to stay home and talk
with me; at any rate he mustn't go out, and /
hid his umbrella and India-rubbers. Well, of
course he was right up, Gust as | expected ,
and in less than ten minutes wasstreaking down
the street at the rate of ten miles an hour You
see there's nothing like understanding human
nature; no woman should be married till she is
thoroughly posted up in the branch of educa-
ton"
, 1864-12-02
Watch Repairing.

YSNHE subscriber would inform the citizens C2
4 of Walla Wala and vicinity that any !k1A
work entrusted to his Through the ex- Ss--%S
long experience in the business, he is enabled to per-
form it in manner unsurpassed in the State
Charges as low as elsewhere, and all work war
ranted
Heis also preparedto fiji any orders in the Watch
and Jewery Business with dispatch at the lowest
possible prices. JACOB COHEN.
Portland, Oregon, April7. 1862. l9m6
, 1864-12-02

How bravey a man can walk the earth, bear
the heaviest burdens, perform the severest du-
ties, and look all men in the face if he only
bears in his breast clear conscience void Of Of
fense toward God or man. There is no spring
no spur, no inspiration like this. 70 feel that
we have omitted no task, and left no obligation
undiseharged, this fills the heart with satisfac-
ton, and the immortal sonl with strength.
Show may be easily purchased, but happiness
Ia a homemade article
, 1864-12-02

In the reign of Charles II it was customary
when gentleman drank lady's health, to throw
some article of dress into the flames in her hon
or, and all his companions were obliged to sac
rifce similar article, whatever it might be-
One of Sir Charles Sedley's friends, percevng
that he were a very rich lace cravat, drank to
the health Of certain lady, and threw his own
cravat into the fire. Sir Charles followed the
example very good naturedly, but said he would
have his joke in retnrn. Afterwards, when he
dined with the same party, he filed a bumper to
some reignng beauty, and called on dentist
to extract decayed tooth which had long panied
him. etiquette demanded that every one of
the party should have tooth extracted and
thrown into the fire, to which they all yielded
after many murmurs about the cruelty of the
thing.
, 1864-12-02

The people of Australia reduced to despair
by the persistence of the English Government in
forcing transports and convicted felons upon
them, propose to tuFn the tables and move-
ment is now on foot to send back n cargo of the ,
worst criminals to the mother country, just to
see how England would like the treatment she
extends to that colony.
, 1864-12-02

In the town of D. there lives an old
Scotchman Tommy McD-. One mornings a
few weeks since, he come into my place of bus
mess with remarkably elongated visage.-
What's the trouble this morning, Tom, asked.
All my only child died last night, he replied
endeavored to console him, and told him that
death was taking us away one by one, etc Tom
looked up with a sigh as he said All itwasn't
death that took away my child-it was the
darned worms.
, 1864-12-02

To the lover there are but two places in all
the world-one where his sweetheart is and the
other where she ism t.
, 1864-12-02

It does not follow that two persons are fit to
marry because they good. Milk is good,
and mustard is good, but they are not good for
each other.
, 1864-12-02

He who spends his whole time in sports, and
calls it recreation, might appropriately wear
garments all made of frnges, and eat dinners of
nothing but sauces.
, 1864-12-02

SCOTTISH MATERNAL INsTNcT.-One day-so
goes this popular traditon-as Sir Alexander
Murray was strOlling down the avenue, he saw
the Laird of Haystoun, mounted on his white
pony approaching as if with the intention of
visiting Darn Hall. After the usual greetings,
Murray asked Haystoun if that was his inten
ton. 'Deed, it's just that" quOth HaystOun,
fand I'll tell ye my errand. am gaun to court
your daughter Jean" The Laird of Blackbar-
ony (who, for a reason that will afterwards ap-
pear was not willing that his neighbor should
pay visit at that particular time) gave the
thing the go-by, by saying that his daughter
'er young fer the laird. "Even' s you like,
quoth HaystOun, who was somewhat dOrty, and
who thereupon took an unceremonous leave of
Blackbarony, limiting that his visit would per-
haps be more acceptable somewhere else
BlackbarOny went home, and Immediately told
his wife what had passed. Her ladyship, on
moments reflection, seeing the advantage that
was likely to be lost in the establishment of her
daughter, and to whom the disparity of years
was objection, Immediately exclaimed, "are
you daft, Laird? Gang ava Immediately, and
call Haystoun back again" On this the Laird
observed-(a land this turned out to be the cogent
reason for his having declined Haystouns visit
eye ken, my dear, Jeans shoOn S at the mend
ing" (For the misses of those days had but
one pair, and these good substantial ones,
which would make strange figure in a draw
ing-room of the present day. "Ye ken jeans
shoon's at the mending.' "Hoot ava, sic nom
sense, says her ladyship, ''Pll gle her mine. y
"And what will ye do yourself "Do?' says
the lady; "I'll put your boots; I've lang
petteoat and they will never be noticed. Rim
and cry back the Laird" Blackbarony was at
once convinced by the reasoning and ingenuity
of his wife; and as Haystoun's pony was none
of the feetest, Blackbarony had little difficulty
in overtaking him, and persuading him to return
again. The Laird having really conceived an
affection for his neighbors daughter, the visit
paid Jean was introduced in her mothers
shoes the boots were never noticed and the
wedding took place in due time, and was cele-
brated with all the mrth and jOllity usually dis
played on such occasions. The union turned
out happily, and from it, as has been said,
sprung the present family of Haystoun.
, 1864-12-02

-
The best possession is a sincere friend.
In prosperity prepare for a change; in adyer-
sity hope for one.
A hearty good will never wants time to show
itself
The best riches is contentmont, the worst
poverty is low spirits.
1t is a good thing to possess genius, but gem
orally bad thing to be possessed by it.
The little which sufices is better than the
much which disturbs us.
We cannot conquer fate and necessity yet we
can yield to them in such manner as to be
greateE than if we could
, 1864-12-02

The man who is the most successful in the
pursuit Of happiness, is not he who proposes it
to himself as the great object Of his pursuit.
, 1864-12-02
VOLUME III
Chr Walla GIaIla Statesman.

DUBLISHED Every Friday Evening"
4 Office Statesman Building Third street, next
door to Brown Bros & Co.'s freprOof Brick Store.
R. R. and S. G. REEs, Editors and Propretors
Richmond Whig. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1862-1865, 1864-05-30

APPALLED, at the magnitude Of the operations and charm
ed with Grants confidence In a.ef Hrcs@ The p'sn
Gas great. Grant, in persoo, ct ~ seaa Of 10000
men, was to advarcs rom Calpeperi Butler, with
$1,000 ner, 70 land on the soath-side sigeL with
10000 men, to march up tho Valley; Crook, With
OOO and Averill ui,a 1000 70 strike the Virginia
aud,Tennsssse read KAnz with 5000, TO destroy the
Petersburg aud Danyns road; and Sheridan, with
$4,000. TO capture RiehmOnd in the midst Of the
hubbub.
Here, Their, were 225 900 men, hurled.snuaneOusly
against the Confederate Clpia. Well might LincOIns
little soul be appalled, plan so gigantic and so com
pcsed. Involved suddenly in this huge web Of mill
tsfy operations, nov was possible for the Coincide
rates to exHicate lbemtelyesi TIE appalling plan
ought to have succeeded at some point aud did.
Crook succeeded in burning bridge Sheridan in de-
sEoyiug considerable quantity Of meat, snd Kanz in
tearing up few miles OF rAilrold track. But Sigel
failed, Averill failed Bu,lsF failed and Grant himself
has 80 far failed Il remains to be seen whether Grant
and Butler united will fail We fully assured that
they WILL and when they DO, what viii be LnCOns SEN
sAdonss II he vas appalled, at the magnitude OF the
undertaking he will be overwhelmed Of the magnitude
OF the failure.
Richmond Whig. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1862-1865, 1864-05-30
EThe Cavalry.

Public opinion ia strongly in favor OF Hampton az
the successor Of Stuart but thsro is some delay in
making the appointment The impression prevails that
no OOmmander-in-Ch Chief OF thu Cavalry of Northern
Virginia viii be appointed by the PresdeHt At pres
emit the cavalry report directly to General Lee, as II
that officer we're capable Os bearing any burden. how
ever great This state Of things will continue, 1t is
rumoed, until Gen. s D. Lse arrives. {.
A competent commander is much needed by the
cavalry. Perhaps some beneficial changes among the
div sion cicrs might be made If our cavalry has not
been fortunate II recent encounters the not
wholly or even mainly to blame. The heavy lists Of
casualties do not indicate lack of courage, but rather
want of intelligence the part Of the officers. 1t
may be that the men have been clumsy brought into
action, or compelled TO SIGHT too heavy odds.
When W. E. Jones took command of the cavalry Of
Southwestern Virginia 1t was in most deplOrabe con
dton, amoet dsOrganizsd and could hardly be induced
to stand against the Yankee cavalry. Within few
months Jones had defeated tie enemys cavalry in
psa,ed engagements, captured 500 of them and SO
frightened the remainder that they have been afraid to
meet him ever since.
Lees infantry equal to any in the world. His cav
airy is composed of the best material All it needs is
4 competent commander.
Richmond Whig. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1862-1865, 1864-05-30
GEN. J. E. B. STUART.

At meeting Of the citizens Of PATRICK county, Va,
in their Court House, on the 9Sd day Of Nay to
memorAte the death Of the cavalry leader who fell in
an encounter with the enemy near Richmond, on the
18th day of May 1854 Mr. Samuel g. Staples was call
cd to the Chair and Mr.. James n Ta.nm Was appointed
Secretary.
Colonel John E. Penn moved that q committee of
Ave be appointed dra resolutions expressive Of the
sentiments of the meeting.
The Chairman appointed Col. John z. Penn, Dol.
Crawford Turner, DR.. VIM. O. Staples, B. J. Campbell,
and R. B. FraEure, EsQl, on said committee, who re.
tired and afterwards reported as follows;
The committee appointed at public meeting Of the
citizens Of Patrick County, to prepare resolutions ex
pressive Of their feelings on the occasion of the death
of MAJOR GENIAL J. E. B. SrUARI, respectfully re-
port:
The untimely death Of our beloved and gallant Ooun
lyman, the chivalrous General j. f. B. Stuart who fell
confronting the foe around our Capital is an event
deeply 10 be depored by countrymen ct large, and
more especially BY the citizens Of this his native ooun
ty. Feeling IL due alike to his distinguished services
and to duty, to place permanent record respect
full tIioute to his memory, we resolve
]. That General Stuart was one whom, while living,
it delighted TO claim Own, aud now that he 10
dead pay thi the highest tribute to any mans
memory, nOlQ nlm up ~ mOuol 10 our young men,
and say If you will emulate his virtues, his y;es can.
not shame you.
q Toe loss at any time Of gifted and patriotic man,
who has forgotten himself in the sublime cause Of bis
country is event that ELECTS all OF our sympathes
and brings fresh memory the manly deeds OF che de-
parted but for thus to fall in the hour Of danger
and peril to the State Ills WITH gloom AID unfegned
sorrow Upon the eastern frontier Of the State many
threatened family have slept In sweet repose knowing
that Stuart and bis bold troopers watched with eepess
vigilance the invading foe and it Is melancholy
satisfaction for to feel that from the Ohickahoniny
to the Shenandoah bright eyes viii grow dim aAd stout
hears will heave tigh for him, who has been well
called the Prince Of Cavaliers and the Flower OF Cliv-
airy.
3. The brightest pages Of our countrys history will
be enyened by the SURFING deeds that he haa achieved
and children yet unborn will bear the name OF the chris
tan SELLER, the unassalsd patriot, and the Cavalry
Ohieftain.
4 That the chairman Of this meeting, Mr.. L. G.
RuckeI, and Capt ThomAh Clark be appointed q com
mtee to carry the mother Of the fallen hero and 10
his wife, the sincere coincidence of the good pee pie of
this csunty.
S. That these resolutions be published in the Rich
mond and DAnFie papers, and that the County Court
be requested to have them splead upon its record
The meeting then adjourned
SAMUEL G. STAPLES, Ohm'n.
JANIS N. TATUN, Ssc'ry.
~ The Enquirer and Examiner and Dapglle papers
please copy.