Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-05-17
The CatechIsm OF the church
Of shoddy.

ouuy.
Designed expressly for the Shoddy onion
League, Tlich must be repeated by erery
S,nodaytte before heis alioced to enter
QuestiOn.-What is your nameY
Answers hoddy.
Q-Who gave you that name1
A.-AbrahaD, William and Salmon
wherin ! was made member of the
Shoddy League. IN enemy Of State rights
and an inheritor Of bundle of greens
backs.
Q-Whst did Abraham. William and
Salmon do for your
A.-Tbey did promise and vow three
things in my name. First, that shonld
rehounce free speseh, free press and free
elections. Second. that / should believe
all the articles in the Shoddyite newspa-
pers; and, thirdly. that should keep and
silently obey Abraham, William and Sal.
mons sole will and commandments. and
walk in the came all the days Of NY
life.
!. @. -Dost thou not think thou art
bound to believe and do as they promised
for theel
Ayes. and verify, by the help of the
Provost Guard, SO ! will and heartily
thank Abraham, William and Salmon for
having made me nearly equal to the mig.
ger, and l hope / shall continue 90 to the
end of my life.
--Rehsarse the articles of thy be-
lief.
Al believe in Abraham the First,
maker os great debts. high taxes and proc.
la1ations. And in William, the Auburn
lite who peeped under the British lions
coudal spPendsge aud discovered an eri-
fee, through which ne crept out of the
Mason and SlideIl affair. And in Salmon,
the greatest paper manufacturer Of mod
ern times, upon whose articles there is al
ways a liberal discount. / alec believe in
the Almighty Dollar, the only god ofsthe
Union League Shoddyites and in carrying
on this war as long as can make money
out Of it, and 60 IN for the last mau and
last dollar providing am the last maa
to 60, and get the last dollar myself.
further believe that Abraham the First
has split more rails, expended more money
wrote more prOclamations, told more stale
jokes, caused more misery, sacrificed more
lives, run the country more into taxation
aud debt than all the presidents which
have preceded him. and ought to be re-
elected again either By bribery or or fraud
so that may continually feed at the pub
lie crib. Office witho Ut end. AmepI
Q-What dost thou chiefly learn in
these articles of thy belief.
A.-First learn there is nothing Ike
ShOddy. Second, that black is white, and
white is black, and that there is4no dis
tinctioD IN colors, and that it would be an
impossibility to distinguish any difference
between myself and niger. Thirdly to
brand every man as traitor that dares to
thi1k, speak Or act different from ny.
self.
Q-You said that Abraham, William
aud Salmon did promise for you that you
should keep their commandments. Tell
me how many there be.
A-Ten.
@ Which are theyf
A.-The same which Abraham, William
and Salmon compel all their lick-spittles
to take before they become members of
the ShoddV Union League, saying we are
your masters, and have raised you to an
equality with the darkey, and filled your
pockets with shinplasters.
First Commandment. Thou shalt have
no other master than us.
Second. Thou shalt net support any
measure, frame any bill, speak to any
copperhead unless to abuse him. put up
any except one. of q. for President, for
we are jealous men, and well set cur dog
Forney on any one that dares to bEsak
this commandment
Third. Thou shalt not take the names
Of Abraham, William and Sslmth in vain,
as they are all expecting to receive high
titles of honor, and one of them to be king
of America.
Fourth. Remember that on all thanks
giving days thou knesless down on q pad
Of shoddy. asking the giVer of all good to
aid the black legions in cutting threats,
logging women, burning houses, aud rob.
biog hen roests.
Fifth. Honor the nigger, and If he
wants to marry your daughter don't refuse
him, under the penalty Of dismissal from
| the League, and being denounced as q
Copperhesd.
Sixth. Thou shalt not call the draft a
conscriptiTe law, OF say. that poor white
men are sold for $500 head, whilst the
ShOddyites remain at home.
Seventh. Thou shalt not grumble at
high taxes.
Eighth. Thou shah not disbeKeve any
reports Of great victories, though they new.
er happened.
Ninth Thou shalt bear false witness
against all oPpOsers of the church Of shOd-
dy.
Tenth. Thou shalt coves and receive q
share of all stolen property, whatsoever it
be, after Abraham, William and Salmon
have had their share. for you know that
the largest dogs have right to the largest
bones.
Q-Whst aOst tbou chiefly learn By
these commandments -.
Al learn two things-my duty to my
masters, and to myself.
Q-WhAt 10 your duty towards your
masters Z
Any duty towards my masters is to
obey them, fear them; and honor them
with ell my work, with sll my crinees,
and with all my bows. To fatter them,
give them thanks, idoliEe their names, and
serve them blindly all the political days Of
my life.
Q-whas is your duty towards your
self.
Any duty towards myself 10 to lows
nobody but myself, to sacrifice even my
father, mother, sister or brother, for my
own interest; to lick the dust from The
feet OF my snperiors, and be cruel as pos
sible to Interiors to give my hands to
picking, stealing. lying, slsDdering. and
doing any dirty action whatsoever. To all
the aforesaid creed do most solembly
swear, and. il it is required, will willingly
swallow the book, 20 that may continue
faithful Lacquer, Office without end
Amen.