Evansville daily journal. (Evansville, Ind.) 1863-1866, 1864-10-15
MISCELLANY.

A Srsen hand on board Yankee
schooner being commanded savagely to |
"let 20 that jib thereI let go that jibl'
replied, II amt touchin' itP'
"Miss," said gentleman, profering
his arm and umbrella to lady in 3
shower, permit me TO be your beau"
"Thauk you for your politeness," was
the reply, "and as have plenty Of fair
weather beaux, / will call you my rain
beaH."
"Ab, Sam, so you've been in trouble,
have your Yes, jim, yes" "Well,
well, cheer up, man; adversely tries Us,
and shows mp our better qualities" "Ah,
but adversely didn't try me; it was an
old wagaboud of q Judge, and he showed
mp my worst qualitieE"
Pat Finegan, of Maine, bolted from
bis vixen Of wife, with whom he could
get no peace. Being accosted en- route
BY an acquaintance with: "Well, Pat
rick, they sey you are going for the
gar" mo, nc" said he, II am going
for peacsi"
An Irishman, tho other day, knocked
down his eomrede without provoca.
ton, and on being asked BY him,
" Pat, what did you strike me forT' re-
piled, Sure, Mick, and if struck you
myself wouldn't let any other man do
L."
If you had q daughter called Julia,
and wanted her to catch female ser
want, how wosld you word the order so
- TO pronounce the name in full Of one
Of the most celebrated Roman Emperors?
Julia seize her.
Teacher - "Come right here, you
scamp, and get a sound spanking"
Scholar" You amt got no right to
spank me; the copy you just set me says
60"
Teacher" should like to hear you
read that copy over to me"
Scholar" You shall. He reads. l
Let all the ends thou aimest at be thy
eountrys,' and 30 forth, and so forth,
and when you're spanking me, you amt
shining At no such end.
A fellow at race course was staggei.
ing about the track with moro liquor
than he could carry. Halo, what Z
shs matter uow1" said chap, whom
the inebriated gentleman had rur
against why (hie)-why, the fact is
lot Of my friends have been betting
liquor on the race to-day, and they have
got me 10 hold the stAkes'
Not q bad story is now going tbs
rounds Of Paris A small German
baron had occasion, as 1t seems, to see
Baron Aothschild, Of Frankfort. The
great hnancier was writing away foi
very life when Baron Z was an
nounced. He did not even lift his eyes
bot said, "Taks a chair, Sir" TIL,
baron, with true German Loneliness
about titles, said, "Sir, indeed thinl
NJ le Baron did not hear my name.
am q baron also-the baron y
"Ahl thousand pardonsl" said tn,
banker, still writing; "you are baron
take two chairs, then, IL you will be Sc
kind, and wait ill have finished thii
letter"
TIE EBB AND Flow OF BEAUrY.-Beau
tymakes its own fashions when ii comes
and we must remember that it is no
NuSo bSahtJ ahu hlWnlH uehhhNs CT
pie are continually being disappointed il
children in this respect; chernbs grow
up into ogres-mouths widen most por
tentiously about fourteen years old; dim
Piles about that time often vanish, an,
noses then can lengthsn, or crook, OF
even snub; and il 10 fortunately tn
same the other way, that faces ugly il
the cradle may quite change by twenty
Some peoples beauty comes very lat,
indeed, and those who have been rspug
nAnt in their youth and maturity, ma,
look splendid in old age. Gray hair
and white hairs become some folks won
dsrfnlly; few wrinkles, also, improv
some faces; and here is one old lady 0
our acquaintance whom we never dream
ed was beautiful till we saw her in spec
taclea-- Victoria Magazine.