American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1864-02-03
WIT AND WISDOM.

A BARREL of beer may be compared
to an industrious man, because it works.
If forty rods make furlong, how ma
ny will it take to catch catfish?
A CORD of wood is l28 feet in the Uni
ted States in France 576 feet.
IT is exceedingly bad husbandry to har-
row up the feelings Of your wife.
SOMEBODY says that the best way to
keep food upon weak stomach is to bolt
it down.
AN old maid sometimes bites her lips in
rage at finding that nobody wants to bite
them in love-
TIMoN remarks that soldier is supe-
rior to a civilian, because the former is the
rational being.
ONE of the greatest robbers is temper
ance, for it robs the poor house and the
prison of their victims.
PRENTICE thinks it no more than right
that men should seize time by the fore
lock, for the rude old fellow, sooner or la
ter, pulls all the hair out.
An Irish student was once asked what
was meant by posthumous works. They
are such works" says Paddy, Gas a man
i. e. -. L =
II AM going to the post-ofice, Bob
shall inquire for you?
Yes, if you have a mind to, but !
don't think you will find me there ?"
THE rebel government talks Of paying
the soldiers literally after the war. Its
liberality reminds us of the poor fellows
will: II have nothing-I owe everybody
the rest ] give to the poor"
ONE of the German Almanacs remarks ::
A young girl is fishing rod, the eyes
are hooks, the smile is the bait the lover
is the gudgeon, and the marriage is the
butter in which he is fried.
The loud wind roared the thunder rolled
Fierce lightning split the sky,
And all the west seemed fnnged with gold
was reaping rye
laid my sickle down to view
The grand and awful scene;
But didn't stop TO see it through
oh, no-I todrnts so greenl
A CAPTAIN of rife company was
guilty of an unheard-of barbarity on a
cold day last winter. He actually march
ed his men to the very brink of the canal
and then coolly commanded them to " fall
in"
"PA, has dogs got wings ?"
Wings? No, child Don't you
know better than that ?"
"Why, pa, boy says in this paper that
big dog flew at him and bit him. So
guess dogs has got wings too"
In the days of Robert Fulton, the House
of Representatives of the United States
was refused him for the purpose of lee
ture on steam navigation, on the ground
that it was discussion on uisionary
scheme.
HUMBLE as / am" said bullying
spouter to a mass meeting of the unterri-
fed, still remember that I'm faction
of this magnificent republic"
You are indeed" said by-stander,
and vulgarone at that"
THE Buffalo Express says the author of
this rhyme deserves to be nipped by un-
timely frosts."
'Tis Winter; no more the breezes
Buz among the treesesi
And while the boy with ragged trowsers,
Shiveriug homeward drives his cowses,
Newly frost-bit are his toeses,
And bless me- how blue bis nose isl
A sT1NaY fellow, in making love to a
young lady, said that his affections were
"riyited upon her." She told him that
she did not want to have any dealings
with rivits or screws like him. Of course,
after that, the fellow couldn't expect to
nail her.
A LITTLE boy once said to his aunt,
aunty, I should think that Satan must
be an awful trouble to God"
He must be trouble enough, indeed, l
should think" she answered.
al don't see how he came to turn out
so, when there was no de0il to put him up
to t."