The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1864-06-21

Being the only authentic narrative Of this inter-
eating raoe yet published.
CHAPTER FouRrH.

Iaitll 10 Oo5, anu titit NcicSidph ntVch
had advanced nearly nile and a half
by railroad. He leftthe place, musilig
thoughtfully over the mutations of this
fleeting world, and exclaiming, as he
stopped at peanut stand to devour "a
bowl of Indian succotash, "Succotash
is lite!" - A.
l,x The Indians eager TO extend all possi-
bic hospitaliies to the strangers, took
Columbus and his men in carriages to
visit their benevolent. institutions, CON
sisting ola Jail, track for the invigor-
ating exercise Of running the gaunt-
| let" place where conyicts were tor
tured and burned, and retreat for idi-
otto Brigadiers. Their treatment of
Brigadiers afflicted with gidiocy did not
differ materially from that which is in
vogue of the present.tinle. Instead of
taking tier heads off, which though Sc
we're, is the only radical remedy for in
telleetual blind staggers, their pay was
allowed to go on. CtY
r. Columbus was greatly interested in
the stake where the condemned We're
roasted alive. He remarked facetious-
ly that he would prefer his steak as rare
as possible, In fact he wouldn't. com
plain if II. wasn't ION at all,
The Indians offered to roast any gen
tleman who ha d curiosity to expert
ence the attendant sensations, which,
they assured the Spaniards, was not so
very unpleasant after one got used to
them. No one accepted the proposition
although Columbus, who was eager to
witness the operation promised that
any one who would contribute in that
manner to the entertainment of the
company, should have his body MeAd
omiz'd aud sent home to his relatives.
Getting warmed on the subject he urg-
ed his countrymen to "voluntccr'' to be
burned, appealing to their patriotism in
the most eloquent terms, but when some
one asked him why he didn't "go him.
SELF" he was silent
There was a dispeptic Professor
from Spain, II Chiropodist, who had
come to America for the purpose. of de.
livering course of Scientific lectures
upon the subject of"Toe-nails growing
into the flesh" a rapidly increasing dis,
order among the savages on account OF
wearing tight boots. He happened to
mention to an Indian medicine man
that he was suffering from dyspepsia and
the medicine man told him that the
"Gauntlet" was sovereign remedy foi
that distressing complaint. He read
copious extracts from Halls Journal OF
Health in substantiation of his asser.
J tions, besides numerous certificates from
dyspeptics who had been cured in the
most wonderful manner by the exercise
The Professor was prevailed upon to
try it, -----.
Everybody at all familiar with the
cheerful recreations of the American
Aborigmee (some of our ancestors knew
them but to well) knows what running
the gauntlet" consists in. 1t is an in
genious combination of the giymnastic,
calisthenic, and arobatic exercises, in
tensiied and increased by the exciting
pleasures of the chase (ofw which the In
dian is passionately fond) which runs
quite through it.
Big Injuns and little Inj,ms, old
braves and fiisky young warriors, ,shriv.
eled squaws and beautiful Indian maid
ems, all unite in this innocent and
healthful pastime with the liveliest zest
They form two lines, between which
the patient is to run ut the top of his
speed, and jocosely brandish sled-stakes,
cleavers, table-legs, boot jacks, meat
axes, dray-pins, slung shots, mop
handles, wrenehes, cistern-poles, and
other stuffed clubs, the iudicious exer.
else of which is calculated To produce
in the human form the highest muscular
development, while their application
upon the patient Ender treatment has
the most invigorating effect.
1t is to this exercise, attractive and
exciting as it is healtbfulr Except per
haps to the individual treatment)
that we attribute the physical superior
ity of the Indian over the American cit
izen of white descent. That it is not in
troduced iuto our schools at this time, i,
doubtless. because it is ofpurely Amer
lean origin, and has not therefore, tn,
endorsements ofany foreign academy o
Hygenic science.
The Indians as soon as il was an
lnouneed that there was q candidate fol
the honors of the Gauntlet, formed IL
line with that cheerful alacrity which
they always display in deeds of disin
terested beneyolence to the afflicted
\ temporary platform had been erect
ed from which Columbus observed tn,
novel race, timeing the Professor witt
his watch,
The Professor being stripped to hi:
spectacles and one suspender, was plac
ed in position, awaiting the signal t,
start He repented that he had agreed
to try the "Great Indian Remedy" a
he cast his eyes down the great living
avenue, bristling with barbaric weapon
bnt there was no time for hesitation
| The indians. were howling inpatient,
for their white brother. A muscula
savage who was to give the word, yell
ed "GO!" at the same time executing
scientific and vigorous movement upol
the Professors rear with n hemlocl
shingle, and with shrek and boun,
the Professor "got."
Like an arrow from the bow of tn,
atlctic hunter--like the mountain tor
rent, which spring hath unlocked tn,
icy fetters Of winter--or like tho wind
when the great Manitou breathcs hi
wrath upon the earth, flew the pale face
"Nonc knew him but to lit him!'' Elud
ling a descending sled stake, he wa
crushed beneath n frying-pan. Befor,
he could regain his feet, he had receiv
ed fireman's trumpet and kitchel