The mountain Democrat., 1864-04-23

wherein was maQe member OF the
Shoddy League, an enemy Of States rights,
and an inheritor of bundle of green.
backs.
Q.-What did Abraham, William and
Salmon do for you
A.-TbsJ did promise and VOW three
things in my name. First that should
renOunce free speech. free press and free
elections. Second, that should believe
oil articles in the ShOddyite newspapers; |;
and thirdly, that should keep and silent
ly obey Abraham's, Williams and Sal
mons sole will and commandments, and
walk in the same all the days Of my natu'
raj life.
Q.-DoSt thou think thou art bound TO
believe and do as they promise for thee =?
A.-Yes. and verify by the help of the
Provost Guard, so will and heartily
thank Abraham, William and Salmon for
having made me equal to the negro, and
| hope shall continue so to the end Of
my life.
Q.-Rehearse the articles Of thy belief.
Al believe 10 Abraham the FIRST.
maker Of great debts, high taxes and
proclamatiOns. And in William the Au.
bernite, who peeped under the British
lions caudle appendage and discovered an
Oritice, through which he crept out Of the
Mason and SlIdell affair. And in Salmon,
the greatest paper manufacturer, of mod
ern times, upon whose articles there is
always a very liberal discount. also
believe in the Almighty Dollar, the only
god Of the Shoddyites, and in carrying On
the wal as long as I make money out oI
it, and 60 in for the last man and the last
dollar, always providing that am the
last man to go and to get the last dollar
myself further believe that Abraham
the FIRST has expended more money, split
more rails, wrote more proclanation>,
told more stale Jokes, caused more misery,
>at'iticed more lives. and IAN the country
more into taxation and debt than all the
Presidents which have preceded him and
ought to be reelected eith,r by bribery
OF fraud, so that | may continue to feed
at the public CRIB, Office without end.
Amen!
Q.-What dorst thou chiefly learn in
these Articles Of thy belief?
4 First 1 learn that there is nothing
like shoddy. Second, that black is white
aud that there is no distinction 10 colur>.
and that it wou d be an imDus>bility to
distinguish any difference betW cen myself
aud = uigger. ThWdly. to brand every
man as u traitor that dares to speak, act
or think different TO me.
Q.-You SAID Abraham, William and
Salmon did promise for y"u that YOU
! should keep their commandments. Tell
Tie how many there is OF thcm2
! A.-Ten.
/ Q--N hich are they?
/ A.-The same which Abraham, William
/ and Salmon compel all their lickspittles
to take before they become members OF
the Shoddy League. saying we are your
masters, and have raised you to an equal
ify with the darkey, and have filed your
/ pockets with shinplasterS. First Com
mandnent, thou shall have no other mas
ters than us. Second, thou shalt not
support any measure, frame any bill,
speak 10 any Copptrhead (unleSS TO abn>r
/ hIm), put up any one but one Of us for
President, for we are jealous uen, and we
/ will set our dog Forney on any one who
! udISS W WI Cdh llll> Inn VI,
thou shalt not take the names Of Abraham
William and Salmon in vain, as they arc
all expecting to receive high titles Of hon
or, and one Of them to be King Of Ameri-
ca. Fourth, remember that on all Thanks
! giving DAYS thou kneeleSt down on pad
Of Shodjy, asking the giyer Of all good to
] aid the black legionS in cutting throats,
tioggng women. burning houses S,and rob
bing hen-r"OSts. Fifth, honor the Niger,
and il he wants TO marry your daughter
don't refuse him. under the penalty of
dismissal from the Lraguf. ana being de-
nodnced q CoppeIhead. Sixth, thou Shalt
n, call the draft a conScriptive law, or
say that poor white men are sold for
three hundred dollars head, whilst the
ShoddyiteS stay at home. Seventh, thou
shalt not grumble at high taxes. Eighth,
thou shalt not disbelieve any reports OF
great victories. though they never hap.
pen. Ninth, thou shalt bear false witness
against all oppoSers OF the Shoddy. Tenth,
thou shalt covet and receive a share of all
stolen property, whatsoever be it, after
Abraham, William and Salmon have had
/ their share. for you know the largest dogs
have . right to the largest bones.
Q.-W hat doSt thou chiefly learn by
these commandments?
Al learn two things-my duty to
my masters and my duty towards my.
self
Q.-What is your duty towards your
masters
Any duty towards my masters is to
obey them, fear them. and honor them
with all my words, with all my cringes
and with all my bows. To tlatter them,
give thanks, idonze their names, and serve
them blindly all the political days of my
life.
Q-What is your duty towards your
sefs
Any duty towards myself is to love
nobOdy hut myself, to sacrifice even my
father, mother, sister or brother for my
own interest; to lick the dust from the
feet Of my superiorS, and be as cruel as
possible To my interiors; to give my hand
to picking and stealing, my tongue to evil
speaking, living, Slandrring,nnd doing any
dirty action whatsoever. ru all the afore
said creed, do most Soemnlv swear, and,
if it is required. will willingly swallow
the book, SO that may continue faith
ful Leaguer, Office without end. Amen
Phil. Sun. Mrr.
HYPOCRISY. The Sacramento Union
still keeps up its spurious cry Of "war
for the Union" 1t talks of war for the
Union In ono column, while in the next
il tells us that 'the restoration Of the old
Union is neither possible nor desirable"