The Vermont transcript. [volume] (St. Albans, Vt.) 1864-1870, 1864-04-15
BREAKFAST AT WILLARD'S, IN
WASHINGTON,

WASHINGTON.
Mr. George Augustus Sala, the cor
respondent of the London Telegraph,
and the noted writer of fctions about
divers places, persons, and things, for
the London newspaper, thus carica
lures Wizards Hotel in Washington:
As for the appetite Of the men folks,
there is little to be wondered at in it.
They have always in view Mt meal times
a high moral purpose. They have a
duty to perform. They pay three dol
lars a day for their board at Wizards
and are determined TO have their mo-
ney's worth for their money Thus,
there is breakfast from half past seven
to eleven, dining from half past one to
three, dining again at five, tea at half
past seven, and supper at nine You
may be always eating, and there do
seem to be guests at Wizards who
never miss meal, but are continu-
ally gorging. Some art is requisite,
some finesse has to be exercised, how
ever, to obtain n meal to your liking.
There is nothing on the table itself
save the knives, forks, and glasses, the
castors and the condiments, such as
celery, anchovies, dried smelts, Gods
sounds, olives, sailed cucumber, beet
root, and cold slaugh. No dishes are
handed to you, and unless YOU are
loud of voice, and authoritative in ges-
turc, you will not find the walters very
attentive to you But prodigious
bill of fare lies before you, and from it
you mentally select such dishes as YOU
think will suit your palate. Then you
beckon a black waiter, and in delib-
crate and determined tone tell him
what you want. He grins from ear to
ear, rolls his eyes, and glides away
If you have feed him, or you look
good-natured and he thinks you will
fee him, or he has taken a fancy to
you, he speedily returns with tray
full of white oval dishes, containing
the viands you have ordered.
If he does not care much about YOU
or is engrossed i'll attending to regu-
lar boarder who has bribed him to
be attentive all through the winter
months, you have to wait many min
utes-perhaps half an hour-before
you obtain anything at all and then
very probably the waiter has been OBJ
livious, and brings you the wrong
things. This Is, in all cases, one peril
against which the stranger should be
: warned Order but few dishes and
you are lost. The negro will put you
Z Il - n -
sort of IA person and Systematically
neglect you. But order half the dishes
set down in the bill of fare, and he will
at once entertain an exaggerated notion
of your importance, and almost fly to
execute your commands. The first
time | breakfasted ut Wizards | said
modestly, that / should like cup OF
: tea, some dry toast, an egg, and little
toasted bacon. Ii struck me that tho
waiter regarded me with very con
S temptuous look, and that he retired
a from my presence i'll a very slow anC
+ supercilious manner | waited, an6
), waited, and waited, but no tea, no toast
o no egg, no bacon came There was
: sitting opposite to me n dapper it'll
y man with a large beard, and embroid
t cred shirt-front with diamond studs
d a cut velvet vest and a pea jacket
e Here, you" he cried to the neares
n Ethiop "bring me some fried oysters
e some stewed oysters, some tender Ion
+ steak and onions, some scrambled
r, eggs, pork outlets, some fish balls
y some dipped toast, some graham bread
It some mashed turnips, some cold ham
2. some buckwheat cakes, some hot cof
II fee, and some blanc mango I've pal,
d my money, and by ----- mean 10 Sc
e the sholc." The only way to get on il
r America is, having once paid you mo
1t ney, TO insist on seeing the show.
n you don't, people will think you ar
II mean-spirited, and trample on you
% See it. See the show. Have the ami
mails stirred up with long pole
D Punch the spotted girl, to see if it j
20 real flesh, or only tights she has on
Of Pick the kangaroo's pouch. Make tn
lie pelican bleed again for your gratifca
e. ton. You have paid your money
a. Don't be imposed upon. Take al
ID Halloa with stringent voice. Ours
and swear in land where execration
O. are rife. Brag louder than the great
he est bragadocio in the world. If nee
10 be, lie--he with face of brass an
in lungs of leather. "Crack up you
G. own country to the detriment of a
De others Vow that we won the battl
T. of Fontenoy. Swear that Peter MOI
gs rison was the greatest philanthropis
is of the age. Declare that Mr. Roebuc
e. is ninety feet high. Ii man splits o
n, your boot, spit on his waistcoat, an
er then, "guess that you didn't aim To-
er enough.
II you find his letters lying abou
sh read them if he tells you anything i
he confidence, publish il in the newsp'
" pers; keep on moving; go-ahead; &
ut into business smash recuperati
be drink with everybody talk dollai
of from sunrise to midnight Do hi
q nd tho Americans win admire yo
tie and yon may admire them They ~
be say you are "smart man. and 40 ia
lod You Win be spoken Of as q remark
BPS ble' man. But II you pay your mon
)st and don walk up 90 the booth; Il 50
aid arc nervous and ahashod; II udene