Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1864-04-23
escIENTlRLc, DISCOURSE. ,

Religious Rebels II shalt spoke to you
dis ,ebenin from de tex, which you viii
find in De pictur books" Ne6er trust to
'Psorances.'' .' ~ -.'. .1..'>'' '" ''>.'.'7
Ny frehs, ais am wicked wor1d-full
OBJ deceipt ana nonsense, big pumpkins
and bigger lies, and all such warnints. Il
seems to be a wonderful disease on de part
OBJ eberybody, to seem what dey are not.
and derefore humbusgery am de order OBJ
de day. One man paints up his ole brick
house &c cutler Oh brown stone, to hum.
I bug folks into de idea that it am kranits:
anudder mau follows 10 De pafE, and paints
up an old wooden shanty in imitashun Oh
marble, and humbugs hi.seff into de be.
lief dat he Ibis in marble palace, but
botf OBJ desc instances Gums clarly under
de law Oh false pretence, bekase de pre-
tend dere houses to be, what in reality dey
am not-derefore you see de imperence.
When emmy OBJ de ses.ern make dere
twilight to 60 out lem onadin in Broadway
dey g'nerly make up for de caishun go
datyou can't trust to 'perences-and
tink dat zsninashun co De subjick will
at once convince you dat Mr. Big .a.Dig
Gineral Jackson's use Oh co,.ot a. de bat.
tie Oh New Orleans hsb been hiely gag.
Grated, iur he only used it to for,ify his
front, bit de ladies' use it on all sides-niot
so much for fortifcashun as stufiticashun.
When dey don; stuff wild cotton, dev use
dem little doub'e.brested scoop.ne,s what
: you see in de winders in Broadway, in de-
coseet shops But do de sisters use false
presenees in order to humoug de odder
sex. emmy more dan dey dandy does to
swell up his own 6gur FUR ef human
nasar had made emmy OBJ dem w:d de de.
formed chis,s, dat some oh dem carry dey
wood consider demseFs dana sed piece
ob rno'ality, and wood be runuin to Dc
doctor man to get cured and agin, ef
nasur 'hicted man with red head, and
a beard haf as black as dey cutler it, he
wood be considered curiosity st to hab
a star ensagen,en.'attlf at the museum. When.
eber derefore, you see man wid red hair
and black whiskers, do not blame na,ur
for sich bctch work in 'temp,iu to make
man, but let de falt rest in de rite place.
nnd accuse vanity and the low price OBJ
de kair-dye for the same, and set it down
in your scratch boci: OBJ nolege as. false
pretenees in the fifth degree. s'@
+. My poor deluded frc6s. ef We war 10
trust to 'perences, We wood belebe De
moon to be . bladder wid q sas.lit. in It.
nhd de sky a sheet ob blue rappin paper,
wid srangles stuck on it. We wood look
pom de sun as de drift hole to de bad
place, and wood gi, stuck wild tin shilIins
ebery day. Logwood aud aumwater wood
be drank fur port wine, and camphens
swallered fur de bess Ledan gin. We
wood make judges out oh owls, and minis.
ters out CD jackasses-bekase" one look
wise, and the odder grave. So you tee
dere an no use IN trust;n 10 'perences-ef
We DO we will get NIFTY tahen in, now
mind, ( tell you. We are more ant to
trust to 'perences in our young days, den
We is arter We git our eye-teer cut. Inos
little datkey dat was beautifully sucked
IN by q loohins-glass once. His farder
and madder live in bach coun,ry, on a
cotton plansashun, and de- little feller hab
never soen loo!;n.glsss in him HE, tut
he hab seen a monkey fast to an organ
dat cum frn dar once. fast to an Italian.
Wen, one day ae farter % de boy wen. to
topn and bied glass, and put il in do
bottom OBJ de trunk. When he come home
de little darkey open de trunk cubber,
looked in, aud shut i. doun a gin quick .s
lishtnin, and jumped to his feet and slap.
ped lis hands. ana suns: out I'm glad ,
I'm giaa' fadder lab 'troush. HONS a
monkey, and is gwanc to play Eid it."
So you see what i. am 10 srus. to per.
ences. But I belebe /, am born In Us to
wlsn 10 seem what we are not. Little
boys are ginerly born wid der fats doubled
up, to de nuss link he hab Gun, for pu.
galistic f.s, when he ain notlin but fee.
bic sucker, who looks pom De eye Oh hs
mudder as de moon, and her Il 5ufas Do
gateway ob heaben. 1885 s"@ Es*'>">
r Bradder Horace g.. 1ough Ba,thead
will please pass round dc sssssr, and re.
fuse oil silver and gell,a ..aa,s.. Il
VI Toascertain the length Of the day and
night, at any time Of the year. double The
time Of the suns rising, which gives tho
length Of the. night, aud double The time
Of, its setting, which give. thu length Of
the day. This is simple method, which,
No guess, few people Are aware o. 49,