Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-05-03

horror-was passed around preserve
plate full was allotted him. He tried hard
to swallow some. but it stuck fest in his
throat; it choked and sickened him, and
set him to coughing violently.
You have taken severe cold, rre,
sumo remarked Miss Flambeaux.
Yes, madam, thank you, l have re-
turned Singleton, trem bling on the verge
of another speeze.
why don't you eat your tomatoes p que
ried Mrs Grubbins. My poor derd and
gone Daniel used to say there was ncthin
in the whole vegetable empire equal to to-
matoes.'
No doubt, madam, they are 6ne,' and
Singleton essayed spoonful. The second
dose had well nigh been too much for him,
and with desperate resolve he watched un-
til the whole company were engaged in
drinking toast, when he tilted the pre-
serve dish and let its contents run into the
napkin, which receptacle he whitfield into
his pocket without delay, and immediate
ly felt easier. A moment after Judge
Flanders proposed sentiment:
the Honorable Harry Singleton. May
be always retain the title of Honorable
but may he soon resign bis right to be
called single. It's not good for man to be
alone
The sentiment was drank with ap-
plause. Singleton blushing red at the in
situation conveyed by the words of the
Judge, thrust his hand in his pocket for
his handkerchief, when Instead out came
napkin, tomato all. He mopped his fore>
head vigorously with it, the luscious vege-
table formed an uDctious pouitice thereon
completely transferring his counte-
nance. Blinded with the juice and half
dead with modification, he thrust the nap.
kin back into his pocket and secured the
handkerchief, while the astonished COM
pany beheld him in silent amazement.
Does your rose bleed, sir 2 inquired
Mrs. Grubbins, quite audibly.
What in Heavens name is the matter p
screamed Judge Flanders.
'Ahem only slight cold, thank you,
SIR stammered Mr.. Singleton.
A cowld, is it? Faith now, an your
donors nose must be after turning itself
! inside thinv exclaimed Mr. O'Toole, the
| Irish orator.
Lncy Deane was laughing; Miss Flam-
beaux was Mortified Mrs. Grubbins look
ed shocked; our friend Singleton was
nearly suffOcating with shame. He leaned
back in his chair to recover his breath,
and as soon as he could speak be begged
| to be excused moment as be did not feel
| quite well. And forthwith be arose and
made for the door, but-borrOrs of hor-
ror he had set 90 the pocket containing
the napkin Of tomato, and his white panta-
looms were dripping with the sauguinary
vegetable.
A simultaneous shrek burst from all as
sembled.
Good Heavens, Mr.. Singleton is wound
! ed Murder murder Call physician
Seize the murderer Send for SplitpOwder!
Qnick-he'u bleed to DEATH! Murder
murderl
The Infatuated audience rushed bither
! and thither, and some encountered John,
| the waiter, with a carving knife in his
! hand, took him for the perpetrator of the
! crime, and seized upon him without delay.
! Johr struggled and swore, and laid about
! him with a right good will, but he was
! overpowered by numbers and obliged to
! yield. There was regular fight, and
black eyes and sWelled noses added large
! ly to the scene. The ladies fed to the
ante room, Judge Flanders ran for a sur
geen, and during the mice Singleton made
| his escape No grass grew beneath lis
feet as he sped for home; but the night
being dark, and he being slightly frustra-
! ted, be unfortunately mistook the house,
and entered, not his own residence. but
that of a correct old spinster named Har-
! Vie! Nil:s The 5juses we're somewhat
similar, and Singleton without pausing for
light, rushed up stairs into bis OVID
chamber, as he thought, breatbless and
exhausted he flung himself upon the bed.
Miss Harriet had retired sometime pre-
vious, and the sudden advent of Mr.. Sim
gleton aroused her from q sound slumber
| Spriugiug from the bed regardless of the
fact that her teeth were out and her mats
ural curls' repOsing in the bureau drawer
she few to the house Of her nearest neigh
bOr, and securing assistance returned to
meet the Mortified Singleton just emerging
from the door.
P1Gr Harry tried to explain, but Mis-,
Willis would listen to nothing her repu,
tation was ruined she. said, and Singleton
must either settle or marry her. A fifty
dollar bill was given freely; mending bel
broken character and learning Singleton
never to go to bed in the dark.
Tue affair at the Whitestown botel wal
rather seri;us one. Tbs orator O'Too
had his nose broken. DR.. Splitpowde
broke his horses wind to get there befor,
be should bleed to death john, the wal
ter, broke the heads of half dozen gen
tlemen who assisted in his capture AM
Judge Flanders broke all the buttons Of
his Wristbands running after the surgeon
and shouting murder.
Mr.. Singleton is yet unmarried-as fin
fellow as you could wish |; and if 20
want to see blushing, just mention tomat
sauce to him.-LiterGry Companion.