The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1864-12-27
sQUINT GOES ON CHANGE.
TInnnce ExtrnordinnrN.

Mr.. job D0hbs, the famous Colerliu oil specu.
laior lisa member of the mcrChantseXChing., and
yesterday he invited me TO go "on change" with
Lin, and went / had my misgjyiugs, before
s'atirE, that shouldn't get along very well for
the Truth Is, I'm great deal heavier on science
and oil 10 rvcstigutOus, than / am on finance; but
went l found the hall so fuli that you Cuul Inc
take more than half q brUa n at a time II tyiny
tCcn out In the country for several weeks, among
the silent rocks, and trees COQucting with nature
aud pumping oil, ! was entirely unpreparei for
the babedom that greeted my cars. Everybody
was talking 10 every body at once, without walt
ing for anybody 20 answer; all OF which made
me forget where | was, and what I was about
and caused me TO tread upon several hundred
tees, and to tip over any quantity Of inkstands.
Eventually, however, / recovered my rlInnosa
and could look about with some decree of conf
dence. Thinks ], this won't dO-mOpinE ABOUT
here like fool. must talk finance, and be one
Of EN-.
Noticing that every other man was chewing
wheat, careIessy sauntCred to a table put d
hstiull into my mouth, aud commenced To ma,ti.
cate likewise. After chewing for about ten
minutes, began to feel like a business man, and
therefore commenced operations. NV neare,t
ncighbor was venerable man busly engaged In
figuring at desk. ] remarked to him thai there
was good deal Of stir about the room to which
he agreed, but kept on figuring. Nothing daunted
! tried him again Says (swallowing portion
of the wheat, and rolling the rest to one side of
my mouth), "Do you think the present issue of
National Currency sufficient to cancel the com
pound interest on the iyc-twenty bonds :" lie
looked at me as much as five minutes during
which time l per.pired freey--and then re-
piled by laughing gruiiy in my face.
must say that this reception rather flustered
me but took another chew Of wheat and bepan
to look around once more. | asked one fne.lOOk-
ing man if he thought the plan Of buying short
for the purpose of lquidating sight drafts at
maturity was going to pull the wool over the
eyes of The people much longer; and he replied
by asking me what Lunatic Asylum l belonged
nj lV,,p IL ,,{-,. i
was gone.
Mr.. Dobbs introduced me to the Secretary of
the Board. The policy of Mr. Fessenden was
touched upon. Says the Secretary :-'Do you
think this policy should be maintained by us
hnanciers" Gus tinanciers" pleased me much
and gave me contdenCc). Says / THE fact is
Fessenden means well, but his upper story is
light. l dent think his policy ought to be sus-
tanned, unless he'll throw his Collateras upon the
market redeem them in Understanding coupons,
and make them legal tender for all dues, except
oil dividends" The Secretary said he wished I'd
excuse him moment, and l didn't see him any
more.
Ioverheard one gentleman tell chap 'to come
round to the Second Board" "Ah," says to him
in my blanGish manner, "YOu said something
about board : it's awful high, amt it | think
anybody that'll charge twelve dollars week for
board ought to be published" "Do you belong
TO this Board ?" said he. "No, sir" said l.
"Wel," said he, "Pm burned glad you DON'T"
and, after remarking thatPd better 60 home, he
turned his back on me.
II l said these repeated checks had no effect
on me- should tell an Internal lie. l felt little
discouraged but determined not TO give il up so,
A little knot of dgnited, specialized gentlemen
sat at table in the office. Cooking my nat on
one side of my head, and inserting my thumbs
into the armholes of my vest, approached tho
party and inquired the price of gold, at the same
time j,ngliug a bunch of keys ia my pocket
The party seemed annoyed; but answered my
question. | then pompously asked the price Of
silver. "Do you wish to buy coin, or have you
some to sell ?" asked one of the group. "I have
lot of silver to dispose Of" replied |, slamming
down a Mexican silverdoar upon the table.
! noticed that the party whispered together
and that one of them left the room; but, con
scious Of my financial purity, was not afraid.
In about five minutes afterwards, however, | was
arrested for attempting to pass counterfeit
money, handCufied and dragged towards the
door. l had unwittingly tried TO sell a pewter
coin, and this was the result. Fortunately Mr.
Dobbs influence got me free Rather a tragi-
cal termination TO my first speculatiOn but this
persecution only emboldened me. A number of
business blOods were cOnV0rsing near. L drew
famiarly nigh, and, coo ly staring at the group,
listened 70 their conYeryersation.
Finding that there was no opening for me, |
thought I'd make one, and accordingly fired the
TO lowing shot across their bows tit is evident
to every dispassionate observer, that it Mr.. Fes-
sender continues this issue of gOld-bearing bonds
the practice of cashing sight drafts will be dis
continued, unless the capture of Hoods money
chest should render gold as pen'y as tOads after
a shower. Still" "Hold on I" said one of the
bloods; care you fond of life :" | replied In the
"Then," said he, "don't you inter-
rupt us again with your gibberish, or therel be
a coroners inquest here in less than twenty
minutes -
went sorrowfully in search of Dobbs. As
soon as found him, bnrst into tears, and sob
bed forth :--"Oh that had been educated at the
Commercial Coege" Dobbs said that l had
better go home, and did so. SoUINr.
Cincinnati Times,