The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1864-03-10
The Backward Cow Ride.

During the Revolutionary War. when
a corps Of the American army was en-
camped near the borough Of Elisabeth.
town, n. j., an officer Who By the way,
was moro Of devotee 10 Venus than Of
Mars, paid his addresses to a ladyo dis.
tinction, whom he was in the habit Of
agEsnoQe oQeo 8, ,'b}i }acd cdissis,ssry si,s, Of
Of the place where ipto--:.rs w..ii ons i.s
Dulcina were had, some waegish friends
determined to play of handsome trick
at his expense, which should deter him
from repetition Of his visits.~s
The officer, i. appesrs, rode very
small horse Of the pony kind, which he
left united, with the reins over his neck,
near the door, in order to mount and ride
off without delay, when the business of
counting and kissing was over, and the
horse always remained until backed by
the owner without attempting to change
his position. On certain dark and
gloomy night, when the officer had, as
usual, gone to pay his devotions to the
object of his dearest affections, and was
enjoying the approving smiles Of the
lovely fair one, his waggish companions
went privately to the door of the house
where the officer was, took his bride and
saddle from the horse, which they sent
away, placed the bride on the tail, the
saddle on the back, and the crupper over
the horns of quiet old COW, who stood
peacesbly y chewing her cud, near the spot
Immediately thereafter they retired some
distance from the house, and separating,
raised loud cry of alarm, that the enc.
my had landed and were marching into
the vii age. Our hero, on hearing this,
took counsel from his fears, and snatch
ing hasty kiss, he shot out of the door
with the velocity of musket ball, and
mounting into the saddle with his back
toward the head of the COW, and plung.
ing his spurs keenly into her sides, caus
ed her to bawl out with excessive pain,
and she darted in her best gallop toward
the camp. The officer still plying his
isss; nsag hs Sar1ss 'ss 9E p SRsr sRa
ward, maugre all his efforts to advance,
hearing the repeated Rawlings Of the
tortured beast-imagined that he was
carried off by magic, and roaring out
most Justify that the devil had got him,
was thus carried into the very center of
the camp.
The sentinels hearing the noise, dis
charged their pieces and fed, and alarm
guns were fired-thc drums beat to arms,
the officers left their quarters and cried
"turn OUT with all the strc2gth Of their
lungs The soldiers started from their
sleep as if ghost had disturbed their
dreams and the whole body running half
naked, as quick as possible, in gallant
dishabile, prepared to repel the terrible
invader. When, 10 the ludricrous sight
presented itself to their eyes Of the gal.
LIANT officer, mounted on a COW with his
face toward her tail, her tongue hangir g
out, her sides CORY with the gougipg of
the spurs, and he himself almost deprived
of reason and half pctri6ed with horror.
A loud roar of laughter broke from the
assembled band, at the rider and his
steed aud the whole corps gave three
times three cheers as he bolted into the
camp.
He was carried to his quarters in tri-
uph, there to dream Of lovers, metamor-
phoses, backward rides, stcrnway advan-
ces, and alarms of invasion, and thereby
garnish his mind with materials for
writing splendid treatise on the novel
adventure of COW ride.
A Curiosity.
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