Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1864-03-19
extending sphere, long after the stone is
forgotten. And even - il is with every
word aud deed Of OUT liyss.--Mp York
Ledger. |#AE
Hard Lying. II

Hard Lying. IT.
There lives il . New Hampshire village
a man called Joe, who almost puts to
shame Baron Munchausen himself, Of ly.
ing celebrity. Joe called one day upon a
neighbor Of his of the name of Holton,
and, finding him almost choked with chin.
ney smoke, said, "You don't know as
much about managing smoky chimneys as
do, squire, or you would cure 'em."-
"Ah" said Holton, with interest, "did
you ever see smoky chimney cured p
"Seen it?' said old Joe, II think I have.
l had the worst one in Seaboari county
once, and I cured it little too much."-
GLOW was that? asked Holton. "Why,
you see," said Joe, 81 built little house
opt yonder, at Wolf Hollow, ten or twelve
years ago Jim Bush, the fellow that
built the chimneys, kept blind drunk three
quarters Of the time, and crazy drunk the
other: l told him l thought he'd have
something wrong, but he stuck to it and
finished the house Well, We moved in,
and built fire the next morning to boil
the tea-kettle. All the smoke came
through the room and went out Of the
windows; not q bi. went up the 1ues. 1t
was tried for two or three days, and it 90,
worse and worse. By and by it came on
to rain, and the rain began to come down
the chimney. 1t put the fire out in
minute, and directly it came down by the
pailful. We had to get the baby off the
floor as soon as possible, or it would have
been drowned. In fifteen minutes the
water stood knee edeep on the floor.
pretty soon saw what Was the matter. The
drunken cuss had put the chimney wrong
end up, and It drawed downward. 1t gath
cred all the rain within hundred yards,
and poured it down by bucket fuls."-
swell, that was unfortunate,' remarked
Holton, "but what in the world did you
do with the house! Surely you never
cured that chimney7' "Didn't though! y
answered old Joe; Eyes, did" "How?'
asked Ho'ton. "Turned the other end
up said the incorrigible, "and then you
ought to have seen it draw. That vas the
way cured it 700 much" "Drew too
much p asked Holton. "Well, squire,
you may judge for YOURSELF said old Joe.
Pretty soon after We got the chimney
down the other end up, missed one Of
the chairs out Of the room, and directly l
seed another Of 'em shooting toward the
fire. e.place. Next the table went, and seed
another of 'em shooting toward the fire.
place Next the table went, and see the
back log going up Then l grappled the
old woman under ono arm and the baby
under t'o.her and started but just as !
got to the door l seed the cat going across
the floor backward, holding on With her
claws to the carpet following awiu!ly. 1t
wasn't no use. l just see her going over
the top of the chimney, and ths. was the
last Of her" "Well, what did you do
then p asked Holton "of course you
could not live in such house ?" Couldn't
|, though?' said Joe; "but l did ). l pu,
a police on tho jamb Of the fire. place,
and that drawed t'other way, so We had
no more trouble" That is what we call
hard lying.
- - -
MoRaAN's "BAnBER' BRlGAnE.-Gen.
Morgan, in order to retailia,e upon the
Federals for shaving of bis whskers in
the Ohio Peniten,iary, has appointed to
every regiment in his command profess
sioual barber. whoae duty it is to accom-.
pany the brigade to the field, to operate
in like manner upon such officers of the
Federal army rs the fate of battle may
throw into his hands as prisoners of war.
Every prisoner above the rank Of a SER
pean.. whether he be Major General,
Brigadier, Colonel, Major, Captain or