Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1864-03-05
MISCELLANEOUS.
SEVERAL LITTLE STORIES,
IBy or About President Lincoln.

By or About President Lincoln.
1t would be hardly necessary to inform
the nation that our worthy President, in the
midst of the anxieties of state of. war that
continually torture his mind, is wont to find
occasional relief in an appropriate anecdotc
or well-turned Jest.
No man, says Mrs. Stowe, has suffered
more and deeper, albeit with dry, weary,
patient pain, that seemed to some like in
sensib:lity, than President Lincoln. (Which
ever way it ends" he said to the writer, IL
have the impression that shan't last long
after it is over" After the dreadful repulse
OF Fredericksburg he is reported to have
said IF there is man. out of hell that
suffers more than l do, Il pity him." In
those dakr days his heavy eyes and worn
and weary air told how our reverses wore
upon him, and yet there was a never-failing
fund of patience at the bottom, that some
times rose to the surface in some droll,
quaint saying or story, that forced laugh
from himself
PRESIDENTIAL PUNs.
Mr.. Lincoln, in his happier moments, is
not always reminded of "little story" but
often indulges in a veritable joke. One of
the latest reported in his remark when he
found himself attacked by the varioloid He
had been very much worried by people ask
ing favors. "Well," said he, when the con-
tagsous disease was coming upon him, "Tve
got something now that can give to every
body" About the time when there was
considerable grumbling rs to the delay in
forwarding to the troops the money due
them, western paymaster, in full majors
attire, was one day introduced alta public
reception. Being here, Mr.. Lincoln" said
he, II thought call and pay my respects"
From the complaints of the soldiers" re-
sponded the President, II guess that's about
all any Of you do pay"
CONCERNING CONGRESSNiEN.
|, 1t is stated that he was much disguised
at the crowd of officers who sometime ago
used to loiter about the Washington hotels,
and he is reported to have remarked to a
member of Congress "These fellows and
the Congressman do veX me sorelyn
Another member of Congaess was CONVEX
sing with the President, and was somewhat
annoyed by the Presidents propdnsity to
divert attention from the serious subject he
had on his mind, by ludicrous illusions.
"Mr Lincoln SAID he, IL think you
would have your joke if you were within a
mile of hell"
"Yes," said the President, ''that is about
the distance to the Capitol"
When informed that General Stoughton
had been captured by the rebels at Fairfax,
the President is reported to have said that
he did not mind the loss of Brigadier as
he did the loss of the horses. For said
he, II can make much better Brigadier in
five minutes, but the horses cost hundred
and twenty-five dollars piece"
INQUISITIVENESS NONPLUSSED.
Mr. Lincoln has very effective way some
times of dealing with men who trouble him
with questions. Somebody asked him how
many men the rebels had in the field. He
replied very seriously, "Twelve hundred
thousand, according to the best authority"
The interrogation blanched in the face, and
calculated, My Godm 'Yes sir, twelve
hundred thousand-no doubt of it. You
see all of our Generals, when they get whip
ped, say the enemy outnumber them from
three or five TO one, and must believe them
We have four hundred thousand men in the
field, and three times four make twelve
Don't You see it ~ The inquisitive man
looked for his hat soon after "seeing it,"
"When the Sherman expedition which
captured Port Royal was fitting out, there
was great curiosity to learn where it had
gone. A person visiting the Chief AIagis-
trate at the White House importuned him
To disclose the destination to him. "Will
you keep it entirely secret 2" asked the Presi-
dent. "Oh, yes,u pom my honor. well"
said the President, "I'll tell you" Assum-
ing AN air of great mystery, and drawing the
man close To him, he kept him moment
awaiting the revelation with an open mouth
nd ,at.. Ill la In, a lAnn
whisper which Tas heard all over the room,
''the expedition has gone to-sea!"
When Gen. Banks was fitting out his ex-
pedition to New Orleans il will he rslnem-
bered that he used TO answer To answer all
questions as to lis destination with great
trankness by saying that IL was going south,
A STORY FoR Mr.. RATES.
One day when Mr.. Bates was remonstra-
ting with Mr.. Lincoln against the appoint
ment OF some indifferent lawyer 10 place
OF judicial Importance, the President inter,
posed with, "Come, now, Bates, he's not halt
so bad as YOU think. BESIDES that ! must
tell you, he did me a good turn long ago.
When took 10 the law, ! was going to
court one morning, with some ten or twelve
miles of bal road before me, and | had mo-
horse. The Judge overlook me In his wa
gun. Hello, Lincoln, are you not going "a
the courthouse Come Ia, and III give you
. seat Well, got In, and the judge wenl
on reading his papers. Presently the Ma
goa sirack stump on one side of the road
then ID hopped oh' IA the other. | looked
out, aad sas the driver was Jerking ifonl
side Ia side Ia hls scat, 30, says l. Jadge,
think your eoaehman has besa taking . nl
tis drop Too much thls morning. We'll,
declare, i.ineola, said he. ! should noi maei
~oadsT u you aFe right iof IA has nsafi'
spse, .es hall del.s lla'.s slnee s'a',lsV,