The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1864-07-06
". II gEnf H.. From the Chicago Post.
Beau Hackett as q Fireman.

". II Tsnt ILL.,. From the Chicago Post.
Beau Hackett as . Fireman.
Chicago is big town. have had the
ocular proof, and when say that Chicago
is big town, | wish to be understood
thoroughly and correctly as asserting upon
my own responsibility that Chicago is a
big town. l know that my opinions are
correct for various reasons, ninety nine out
Of one hundred of which are, that can,
60 from one end Of the town to the other
without stopping. When strolling through
in which always stop; viz, to wit, name.
ly, as follows:
1....... ....... Saloons.
2............... Grog shops.
3........ ...... Drinking houses.
That Chicago is a town of progressive.
ness there can be no doubt. This presump.
ton is settled by the simple fact that many
time and oft in single day have pro-
gressed all the way from "saloon" to ''drink.
ing house." The force of my argumen,
will be still further appreciated when in
form the intelligent public that in literary
requirements I have made rapid progress
since made my advent into Chicago. For
instance, when first came here l spelled
my name as follows: ...."
................ TX
The first time Isigned my name as above
some outrageous citizen took the liberty OF
writing over and under it,-"His Mark" D."
For several months my acquantances in.
sisted upon calling me "His Mark" and il
was in vain that told them that was not
my name. About the tenth man that call.
ed me His Mark" l struck on the fist
with my teeth, because said he told false.
hood, and struck him such a blow that
two of my teeth fell down my throat. in
tend to have them replaced with gold teeth
as soon as the price of gold declines. 1t
seems to me that in time like this man
with gold teeth in his mouth couldn't relish
anything except greenbacks, and don't
like anything green.
Gradually, but certainly, I advanced in
the science Of spelling, and VIXEN I had
been in Chicago two months spelled my
name b Ia C k-e,t instead Of X. Now
spell it B-e-a u II a-c X EFT have learn
ed that my name is spelled with two is,
and | can lick any man that will attempt to
tease me by spelling my name with less
than two is. That's my platform and |
can stand on it.
Speaking Of Chicago, am prepared to
assert calmly and without prejudice, that
its big town. l learned that it was a
big town by joining a fire. company. Re.
Gently, having become a moral reformist, |
set out in search of some useful employ.
ment, and before ! set in again, attached
myself to the Dearborn street engine CON-
pany. My mother always told me if ever
joined fire machine, to join it in the sum-
mer, because in winter would be sure to
catch cold. Ijoined the machine company
in the bright month of June for, the above
very reason.
On the third night after my initiation
there was fire, and the entire department
will bear me witness that conducted N.Y.
self nobly. l heard the court house bell
ring out the alarm about midnight; sprang
to my feet and dressed me in less than an
hour, putting on red flannel shirt and a
pair of waterproof gloves. nt
went to the fifc-went in company with
two other fremen. | viii not say that we
ran to the fire, for very good reason-be-
cause we didn't run. Some tiremen always
insist upon running whenever there is FIRE.
Now consider fire very solemn thing,
and | think any man that can have the
heart to run when there is fire raging,
has no sympathy in his bleeding BOSOM
none whatever.
| walked. Myself and my fellow-fre
men, having the interests of the big town
OF Chicago centred in our breasts, walked.
There was proposition made to ride in a
hack, but upon Investigation there was
found to be more proposition than money
among us and so we walked. We walked.
Before we had walked very far We entered
saloon, and one of my fellow fire men, a
tall completed man, said he would treat il
! would pay for the liquor, which did. A
little further on we entered grog shop,
and my tall Completed friend said he would
treat if would lend him some money,
which l did. After going few steps fur.
ther we entered drinking house, and my
tall completed friend said he would treat il
| would pay him half dollar, which l did
My unsophis,icatcd friends, l hope, will
understand readily the difference between
saloons, grog shops and drinking houses.
l started to the fire from the drinking
house, together with my fellow firemen
We had not gone far before We discovered
that We could not discover where the fire
was. We were compelled to return to the
engine house to institute an inquiry, and
while we were on the route somebody said
lager beer" Lager beer" said I, like
a motion to adjourn, is always in ORDER"
and We pitched into the lager. have a
distinct recollection of coming out of the
lager beer business, and suggesting to ny
friends that lager beer would be first rate
thing to extinguish fire. From that time
forward | remember nothing except thai
about three O'Clock | found myself carry ing
water from Chicago river in my hat and
throwing it upon gas light. A policeman
attempted to interfere with me and told
him was paid by the city as fireman
and | intended to discharge my duty. Po.
liceman said | had better look out or
would be discharged myself. Thereupon |
took the polccman's nose for hose and
attempted to carry it to the top Of the gas
light. Policeman struck me on the head
with his billy and laid down on the ground
and slept for several hours. There was a
corporaPs inquest held over my body, an i
when 1t was about to return a verdict OF
death on account Of inability to live"
recovered myself and cleaned the corporals
inquest out.
Next morning, Mr.. U. P. Harris notified
me that my term Of service had expired.
| notfit d Mr.. Up Harris that was ex-
tremely glad to know that had not expired
myself .'.
| have never heard of my two friends
since the night of the first. Next day there
were two pairs Of boots discovered full OF
grease. 1t was very warm night. and ]
concluded that my friends, having gone a
little nearer the fire than happened to go,