The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-04-14

calling. l spent four days without max
ing single arrest, and without getting
rest myself.
During the rest Of the time I did bet
ter. [ arrested better Ca small fellow
you bet, who had been betting on thu
Young Mems election, when there wa
only one ticket in the field, all the candi
dates on the other tickets having become
ticket-of leave men. | arrested the
young gentlemen who displayed his weak
ness SO glaringly, on the ground that he
was not qualified to take care of himself
[ took him to the police court, and had
him qualified. He handed over to the
clerk V (for virtue) and was honorably
discharged, alleging that he had been
dishonorably charged in the premises.
Twelve dollars week.
was getting so weak [ could scarcely
walk. The internal membrane of my sto-
mach suggested to ME, by divers twitch-
ings, that | was not doing the fair thing
by it. I couldn't help it. [ said to my
purse, let there be light, and it was light.
| was reduced to the mere outline of a
man. A base individual with travelling
show tried to hire me for transparency,
to use in magic lantern. [ was in the
last stage of a dead failure. I resolved
to make one more arrest and die like a
hero. But [ determined to confne my
authority to weak females and small boys.
| could no longer risk my muscle with
masculiues, no matter how small they
might be. | met young lady coming
out of dry goods store with a bundle of
goods that seemed so heavy [ mistrusted
it was not paid for. | Immediately ar
rested her on charge of larceny.
"La! how sudden you are" she re-
piled. "Why you have not known me
three months yet"
"My blushing ose-bud," I remarked,
~ know you not
"What! base man, dost thou deny me?
Dost thou not love me still 2"
Don't call me still, was my indignant
reply. Glove thee? Yes, [ love thee
lots-ly. Come with me to the police
court and | will tell thee why l love
thee"
The next moment was looking sky
ward, having been foundered by man
ten pounds my superior. When [ re-
covered, the young lady whom had
deemed guilty of petty larceny Cor pretty
larceny had absquatulated
Twelve dollars a week, and broken
head
l raised money enough that day to pur-
chase warm meal A string broke in a
ruling machine at well-known book
bindery. The proprietors had job on
hand that they wanted to finish immedi-
ately, and [ volunteered as substitute
for the string | did very well, except
that [ was little thinner than the other
strings, and made finer mark [ re-
ceived a quarter for my services, with
which [ purchased a meal. The meal
made me sick, | was so unused to such a
thing Ten minutes after [ ate it [ was
taken to the Central Station, insensible
dead! There was great sensation, of
course, and everybody was frightened
The policemen were afraid there would
be an inquest, and they knew that the
verdict would be; "Died of twelve dollars
a week. "
A physician was sent for, but he
wouldn't come, because he knew the a
of my salary. He said would in
all probability recover, but it would go
hard with me. A bottle of Mrs. Wins
lows soothing syrup was sent for-l al
ways liked that medicine, because lady
it. Strange to say, it wouldn't
resurrect me- A bucket of hair dye was
tried without any visible effect. Finally
they brought me one bottle of Wizard
Oil, and that brought me to. [ present
ed one of them to the Common Council,
labelled "twelve dollars a month"
/ still live The captain told me | had
better resign. l had proved myself, he
said, one of those persons unable to en-
dure the exposure incident to police
mans life at twelve dollars week. |
got contrary and wouldn't resign. He
SAID | must. | said | wouldn't Final
ly I met Colonel Richardson and i
my mind. | had no desire toI
be policeman while he was in the city.
[ resigned. IF the Common Council want
a splendid young man like me for po!-
liceman hereafter they must pay me. L
don't know what I shall follow next to
gain livelihood. ] think | will follow
my inclinations and 60 to Idaho or Arco-
la, or some other foreign point.
Yours, for twelve dollars.
BEAU HACKETT.