The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1864-06-01
HOW TO CURE A TOPPER.

was enioyine my glass OF flip one
uight ~ the little old BLACK Horse,
that used TO stand mile out of $,
( hadn't joined the great army of teeto-
t.lcrs thcu) when neighboring farmer
came in whose moderation, at least in
WHIT. tpddies. was not known to all
ilci His name was W. He was
u quiet sort of a man when sober, lively
and chattv under the effects Of single
glass, argumentatiyc and Extensively dog
matte after the second and downright
insulting and quarrelsome after getting
beyond that number Of drinks. We
liked him and disliked him on these ac-
counts.
On the occasion referred to he passed
through all these changes, and finally
skunk OH to sleep by the warm stove.
Being in the way, and also in danger of
falling off upon the floor, some of us re
moved him to an old settec, where he
slept soundlv, entertaining with very
unmuscal serenade. There were two or
three Inischievous fellows about the
place, and one of them suggested it
would be capital fun to black W----'s
face, and ''make datkey of him, No
sooner said than done Some lamp
black and oil were mixed together in an
old tin cup, and a coat of this paint laid
over the face Of ", who, all un-
conscious of what had been done, slept
on as soundly and snored lou lily as
ever. Full two hours passed away he
fore he awoke Staggering up to the
bar he called for another glass of whisky
toddy, while we made the old bar room
ring with our shouts OF laughter.
Nv hat are YOU laughing ut p said he,
as he became aware that he was the sub
tart nf narrimpnt and turning his black E
face ronnd upon the company rs he spoke. +
Give us Zip Coon, old fellow :. called
out one Of the boys who had helped him
10 his mask.
mo, no Lucy Long. Give US Lucy T
Iong" {" cried another.
Cant you dance Jim Grow z Try it
III sing the
wheel about, aud turn about, and do iist So"
Now begin y
And the last speaker commenced sing
ing Jim Crow.
W neither understood nor rel
ishcd all this But the more angry and
mvstilicd he became, the louder laughed
the company, and the more free became /,
their jests At last, in a passion, he
swore ut us Justify, and leaving the bar
room in high dudgeon took his horse
from the stable and rode or
1t was past eleven o'clock the night
was cold, and a ride OF two miles made
W sober enough to understand
that he had been rather drunk, and was
still "A good deal lin for it, and that it
wouldn't exactly do for his wife to see
him Just as he was So he rode n mile
past his house, and then back again ut n
slow trot concluding that bv this time
the good woman was fast asleep. And
50 she was. He entered the house, crept
silently mp stairs, and got quietly into
bed without his better half being the
wiser
On the next morning Mrs. W
awollc first. But what was her surprise
and horror upon rising up to see, instead
of hcr lawful husband. what she thought
Il strapping negro, as black as charcoal,
lying at her side Her first impulse was
10 scream, but her presence Of mind in
this trying position enabled her TO keep
silence. You may be sure that she didn't
remain long in such a close contact with
Sir Darkev. Not she! For, slipping
quietly out of bed, she glided out OF the !
room, and was soon down stairs i'll the
kitchen. where stout, two listed Irish +,
girl was at work preparing breakfast h
20, dear, Kitty" she exclaimed, pant !
ing for breath, and looking pale as a Q
ghost, '.have you seen anything Of Mr. :
W --- this morning = IN
"Och, no, But what ails ye? We :
are as white as shatc." {
"Oh, mercy, Kitty, You wouldn't 9
believe it, but there's q monstrous negro !
in my room, :
Gracious me! Mrs. W, ma .
ger?'' =
YES, indeed. Kitty returned Mrs I,
W, trembling in every limb
''And worse and worse, he's in my bed i
Just woke up, and thought it was Mr. 9
-- hy my side; when L looked a
over and saw, instead of his face, one as :
black as the stove--mercy on me. / I
was frightened almost ~ death" i,
'.Is he aslapc asked Kitty. =
''lcs, sound asleep and snoring.-Oh, i
dear. what shall we do? Where in the Ii
world is Mr. W? I'm afraid this =
negro has murdered him"
"Och. the blasted murthern' thafe - 4
exclaime 4 kitty the organ ofcombatiye-
ness, which was very large, becoming
terribly excited. Get into Mistress
bed. and the Teddy there herself. the
The black murtherin thafe
of villain v
Anil Kitty thinking OF no danger to I
herself, and making no calculation OF I
seized stout hickory :
clothes pole tina, stood in ono corner Of T
the kitchen. and went up stairs like a i
whirlwind, banging the pole against the c
door. baluSters, or whatever came in its o
way. This noise reused W from
his sleep. and he raised up in bed just as II
Kitty catered the room. 4
.'Oh, YOU murtherin' thafe of viilaic ~ p
shouted Kitty. as she caught sight of his
black face, and pitching at him with her
pole, she swept off his night cap, at the
of taking his head with it.
..Ialiof Nhc cried. not II all liking this
strange proceeding, "are YOU mad r.
Mad Is il, We thafe. retortei Kitty.
who did not recognize the voice, and '
taking a surer aim this time with her |
pole, brought him = tremendous blow |
along side of the head, which knocked l
him senseless. c
Mrs W. who was at the bottom
Of the stairs, heard her husbands excls-