The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1864-07-28
Scientific Researches in KenOSha,

"OLD PHETE," ye ANCIENT" keeper of the
village Restaurant, is an enthusiast in scientific
researches under difficulties Having heard it
mooted at the "sa'oon,' that "a pig 9sould al"
rags trd an open gate, ;" he forthwith experiment
ed. In passing out of his gate recently, after
breakfast the thought struck him. Looking up
and down the street-nO pig 10 sight. He
opened his gate, and stepping back, seated him
self at his front window, to await the result anG
behold a pig walking leisurely up cross street,
turned the corner and came in through his open
gate sold Phete' carefully drove the mySte-
rieus, strange porker out, closed his gate and cog
itated on the strange event, in passing to his res>
taurant The single test was not to the unsus~
picious Phete, Confirmation strong a. proofs OF
holy writ" and he concluded to try another ex>
pertinent at noon After dinner, the gate was
again opened. Phete sat long and patiently at
his front window, watching the results--hours
passed, and no pig came. On inquiring, Phete
learned that the boys had impounded the stray
pig; and bat for that, he was sure the important
truth of the saying would have been demonstraN
ted that "a pig always finds and open gate"
Filled with this scientific ~ idea, Phetes eye
fell upon this article in that veracious sheet, the
Chicago Times, of July 18th, which customer
had carelessly left in his shop
latter the head of La Pommerais had fallen
comfortably into the basket prepared for it, It
was conveyed away together with his body, to the
house of a surgeon This surgeon, inspired with
the passion of science, ser the head upon table,
and putting his lips to the left ear, shouted, La
Pommeraisp
9Th eyeid the left eye quivered, half opened
and thro the lifted lashes the dlmmed and glazing
&c 49, a l1glr 1la
Delighted with a result which would have
thrown any sane and unscientiic man into strong
commissions, the surgeon went round to the right
ear, and shouted again: La Pommerais !
''The right eyelid made an effort to open, and
the right lip of the horrible death head lrembled
as if to say, Who's there 2
The important thing Swallowed forth in this ar
ticle "Phete'' determined to test to his satisfac-
ton; the whole human race being vitality inter-
ested therein. Acouple Of Roughs called for two
chickens for dinner, Phete had but one in his
coop, which he kept well fed He obtained a
half starved one from neghboring grocery
severed its head from its body by single blow
OF h sharp hatohet, and being inspired with the
passion of science, he carefully placed the head
upright on the dresser, laid handful of corr
email Yellow under the tip of its BILL land put
ting his lips TO the left ear he loudly and rapidly
called, "chick, chick! clickii" Judge Phete.
ecstacy. on seeing the eyelid of the left eye sud
denly open, look at the corn, end the bill separ.
ate' as il in the act OF picking it up.
Delighted with a result which would hav,
thrown any sane and unscjeAtifc man into stron.
commissions" the restaurant keeper went arounc
to the right ear and again loudly and rapidly
called, "Biddy, biddy! biddy!' and the eyes con,
tinued open, and the bill of the horrid death
head trembled, as it tosay, "cluck, cluck, cluek!
to its brood.
The experiment upon the hungry fowl left the
0ttal question still in doubt in Phete's min d
lie seized in frenzy his we'll fed fowl, & perform
ed the same operations on it, of severng the
head, placing it in position, producing the corn,
AID the loud and familiar call, known to all well
bred chickens and to his astonished creduIitv
both eyes and bill opened at once, as in the CO Sc
OF the hungry onel The last experiment. ppsst
his growing theory of the first And vet Pbete
Is firm believer in the fact that hsadless chick
EMS head, knows what's what,
This scientific enthusiast has spoken 10 the
Butcher, to starve his next veal, tweDty.fou,
hours before killing it, that he may try whetbe,
the bodless head viii suck its dam, if so. them
his next trial will be between the head of sRap-
ping turtle and the tail of headless striped snake
If quarrel ensues, his determination il to as
certain by experiment, whether the incess. Mt
squalling of his neighbours Mrs. McPbeIan III
fant year old will continue after being guillo,
tined. If so he deems his fame immortal,