Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1864-07-13

fGive me your Tyre, o muses. AT this
moment I would be Pindar, Tyrtscus--'
AT this moment you are fool
'Pity my impatienee-shorten my sus-
pense; ahl there it isl Beauti- I
could not finish the word, such was my
astonishment, disappointment, horror!
What a nosel ao6at a noset WHAT A
NosEl I could never have believed that
nature WAS capable of carrying TO such
an extent hyperbole and amphfcatiOn.
It was not a human. nose, aaIt-Was a beet
root, a eutlass, an Egyptian pyramid.
Amid the confusion which this.sudd =
change of scene caused mey my chief de-
sire was to escape from the large-nosed
lady without incurring the charge of
rudeness. made incredible exertions
to utter some complimentary phrases.
Impossiblel Had beheld my face in a
mirror at that moment, it would have
been the face of an idiot Happily for
me, my companion, who doubtless had
learned resignation to her deformity and
its consequences, laughed pleasantly, l
knew not whether at my discontinue or
her misfortune. This gave me confidence
to quit her under pretext of accostiug a
friend, and without daring to look at her
again, I took my leave, saying gaily,
your most oJcdjent.'
Shame lent wings to my feer; rage
blinded me; 1 could not fly fast enough;
l stumbled over furniture and people,.
and I would have gone straight home
without waiting for my carriage or my
cloak, haG not been terribly hungry. 1
hastened to the refreshment room, seated
myself at table, looked through the bill
of fare, and selected what could be bro't
most quickly. I tasted three or four diff
ferent dishes, but anger spoiled their rel.
ish, and was about to try a fifth, when,
behold whom should I see before me
but the same lady, or to speak more ez-
actIy, the same nose, which had so shock
ed me a few minutes before. My first
impulse was to rise and fly, but the laugh
ing lady Pctrifed me BY saying. in tones
of agravatipg sweetness
How? are you running away in or
der not to treat me with a supper?'
I was disconcerted-rool that was.
The nose smiled, and for my still greater
disturbance, SO did the gallant who had
accompanied her, doubtless in order to
protect her from my-rage
'Senora.
I am not very hungry. I will take a
Roman punch; nothing more
Such impudence provoked me almost
beyond endurance. 1 resolved to be re-
venged upon her.
4 should be most happy to comply
with your,rcquest, Sonora, but I~fear lest
your nose should usurp the functions of
the mouth. If you had not unmarked,
I do not know howl may as well speak
plainly. You cannot drink with that
Excuse me2'
How? What do you say? Well,
then, and upon that she took hold of
her nose and pulled it off
Sinner that 1 ami it was false; it was
made of pasteboard, aud I now saw the
real one, not less beautiful and perfect
than tie other features of her face. How
shall 1 describe my shame, my despair,
at the sight of this lovely creature, and
/ the remembrance of the fckleness, rude
ness and wickedness of my own conduct?
I begged a thousand pardons, deplored
my error, I threw myself on tbs ground,
and kissed the dust beneath her feet; but
the cruel fair one took the arm of her
companion, flashed upon me withering
look Of scOrn, and departed, coOlly say
ing, Fare you well.