Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1864-06-09
ODDS AND ENDS.

was ga she used to go to parties, ana al
ways lad beau to extort her home"
But now" says she. s'the gals undergo
all sorts OF decliyities.' g
Some are very Entertaining for an
intersiew, but after THAI they run out; on 3
second meeting they are very fiat and
stale, Ike hand organs, ell their tunes are
played out. Z q
Tho pen. in the hand that knows
how to use il. is one ofthc most powerful
weapons known. As the-tongue of the
absent, how charmingl When self-res-
'pect gives it . now vigor, how pleasingl
When virtue guides q, how beautiful
WhenEhonor directs Il, how respected
When wit sharpens II, how fatal
-Apass was recently granted at ST.
Louis.to Kansas soldier, commencing
as follows: e.
DEscRIFrIoS OF PERsoS.-Name: A.
Williams; age, 22; color of eyes, blue;
height. SO; color of hair. dark: nativity,
Illinois; pecsl;aruies, Kansas.
That was a smart boy who asked his
father what kind of weod the Board of
Supervisors was made of. 81
-"You don't understand your business.
Landlord; did you ever have a gentleman
stop with you before?" "No. not if you
are one" q
Abiding to member of Congress
from kentucky. the famous Tristan Bur
CESS once said: Feeble as our hold upon
life is, Mr.. Chairman. a man may yet,
l.fo Il 70. fo1 IN frn nj
grave with two eyes in his head, in the
gentleman's district"
An interesting case was lately pres
ented for examination at the Prvost Mar
shal1s office.in Portland. The surgeon
reported the disease as that of chronic
foiliculitis and oedemaof the play
phlgeai; mucus membrane.
* man not long since committed SUR
eide by drowning. As the body. could
not be found, the Coroner held an inquest
on bis hat and boots found on the bank of
the river. Il
Jones complained of bad smell
about the postoffice. aud asked Brown
what it could be. Brown didn't know.
but suggested tina: it might be caused by
the dead letters"
-"Sister Duzenberry, what idea have
you of the doctrine Of total depravity, sh?''
"Oh." said she. II think il is a good
dOctrine,if people would only live up to
It"
Ibid you not observe the scraper at
the door. sir2', exclaimed an offend ed
spinster, "staid, tidy and discreet" to ia
gentleman who had entered the house
without scraping his boots. "Yes'm,"
said he. "and | intend using it when l )
out"
Quiz told Lady Berkeley that she
looked blooming as the spring; but recol-
Letting that the season was not very prom.
ising, he added. 81 would to Heaven the
spring would look like your ladyship."
The humorous has its place in the
universe; this was illustrated in the prac-
teal Jokes OF kittens and monkeys long
before Aristophanes or Shakespeare.
Livery other day the telegraph an
nounces that the rebellion is just on the
point Of "caving in" Wouldn't it hasten
matters a little just to stave it in?
-Ifyou cannot inspire woman with
love of you. fill her above the brim with
love of herself; all that runs over will be
yours.
-Parson Brownlow says: Through
the mercy OF God. the firmnees OF Lincoln.
and the madness of the Southern Confed-
eracy, we ere ell about to find common
level, where we can at least boast that the
Lord Is the maker OF us ALL"
-"Dont You believe the Lord is on
our siie?" said strong Rebel to a not
over confident frieni, some time since
Don't you think now, the Lords on our
side?" "Well, y.e-e-s," responded the
other; ''y-e-e-s, bnt He's acting mighty
strange"
The Germans say when a man is tip
sy, he has ''sat under the juniper tree, -
for its branches age used as signs for the
lsostelry.A Those trees must be numerous
On this coast.
"A pickpocket who was recently sr-
rested in st. Louis, said that his hand had
found lis way into fifty pockets during
the day, without coming across a single
dime.
"A famous musician, who had made
his fortune by marriage. being requested
to sing in company, Permit me-" said
he, "to initiate the nightingale. who never
sings sitter he has made his nest
n Worcester contemporary tells of a
pugnacious goat who seeing his shadow in
hole made in. the ice. lowered his head
shook his caudal appendage spasmodicalIy
and at tremendous gait rushed upon the
shadow, went into the hole out of sight
under the ice and has not since been seen.
Moral: never rush into anything without
giving the subject due consideration
LA gentleman was sgreeably surprised
the other day to find q plump turkey
served up for dinner, and inquired how il
was obtained. why. SIR" was the re-
ply. "that there trulSey has been roostiug
on our fence three nights, so this morn
ing seized him for rent" ~
A l. r. 4