Litchfield enquirer., 1864-02-04

A FU REMARKS BY JOSH bILLINGS-MOral swashun consis in asking man to do what he aught to do without asking and then beggin liz pardon if he refuses tn do it.
 I hay finally kun to the konklushun, that a good, reliable set ov bowels, is worth more tu a man, than enny quantity of branes.
 Music hath charms to sooth savage ;- this may be 50, but wud rather tri q revolver on him fust.
 It always seems to me that left handed fiddler must pla the tune backwards
 have often bin told that the best wa iz tu take a bull by the horns," but think in ma ny instances, 1 shud prefer the " tail holt"
 The fust law ov nature iz :u steal :; the sek- und law iz tu hide, and the third is tu-steal again.
 Poverta act the same onto a mans branes, az exercise dug ontu his boddy, gives an appe- tite.
 .~ never kould cee enny use in making wood. en gods mail and female.
 If the hart is rite, the he'd can. be very rong
 Ina tell me that females are so scarse in the far western kuntry, that grate menny mar ried wimmin arealraady engaged tu their sek- und and third husbands.
 N. B. The above remarks are not intended to be personal.
 PHRENoIoarKAL KARAoKrER OF MIR MARX MULBERRY, Eso.-Given at the offs of Prof Josh Billing praktical phrenologis, prise $4.
 Amtiveness-Big. Sticks out like a hor- nets nest. Yu ought few be able to luv the hole human familee with yure bump at onst. Yu will never be widder long, not enny.
 Pollytiks-Yu hay got the natral wa. A splendid bump. Menny man has got to be constable with half yure bump.
 Combatifness-S -Sleightully, very much. Yu might fight woman, but tuff match. I shud like tew bet on the woman. This bump wante poultising.
 Vittles-Bi thucder what bump! I shud think yu cud eat hoss and cart, and chas the driver three miles, without enny praktis.- Thunder & Tightening what bump! what bump! Let Barnum git hiz hand on this bump, and yure fortin iz made. What bump what bumpl
 Grsenbacks-Well developed. A gorgeous bump. A fortin tew enny man. Yu kant help but die rich, if this bump don't go back on yu. Georgions bump happee man die when yu feel like it, deth wont hay enny sor- rows for yure relashuns that this bump wont heal.
 An Irishman was requested by lady, noto- ious for her parsimonous and niggardly hab- it's, to do for her some handiwork. The job was performed to her complete satisfaction. Pat" says the old miser, |" l must treat you" "God bless your honor, Ma'am," replied Pat '" Whish would you prefer glass of porter, or tum- bier of punch p "I don't wish to be trouble some, Maam," said the Hiberniau, turning around and winking at the thin-ribbed butler, "but I'll take the one while you're making the other"
 Mrs. Partington says that whom she was gal, she used to go to parties, and always had a beau to extort her home. But TOW the gals undergo all sorts of deelipities the task of extorting them homo revolvss on their dear selves.' The old lady threw down her specs. aad thanked her stars that she had lived in other days. when the masculines know how to appreciate the valler of wimmin folks.
 The Southern Msthodist Book concern in Nashville, has been taken by the civil author isies for government printing office. It was 6 pestilent secession concern, and has now been put to good use.
 A large steamer. loaded with cotton, has been captured of Mobile by the gunboat Ken aebeck, and was aground on the bar.
 Out of twenty-one Iowa regiments and five Iowa batteries in General Dodge's command of Gen. Grants army, nineteen regiments and fsur batteries have re-snlisted.
 An Irishman, illustrating the horrors of col itary confinement, stated, that out of one hun dred persons sentenced to endure this punish. ment for life, oaly fifteen survived it.