The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1864-04-30
Correspondence of the Pacific Comr Advertiser.)
Mr.. Sticks Advice TO an E,ditur.

Mr.. EDIrUR :-wot upon arth possessed you in
that last paper NV youru tn set out the Britishers'
Patrin Saint in the shape yu did, an OF that partikler
day tn, when thay were all prepared tu swaller him
boal in the shape of a dinner, an iD the way thay
had bin brot up tn, dragin an all? Yu must hav
takin a heap NV truble tn, in overhaulin that histry
that that Teller Gibbon rt. But | was surprised,
Mr.. Editur, that yu hadn't got no more nolidge Nv
human natur than tn think that the heap NV truble
yu must hav took in overhaulin that Teller Gibbons
wr;tins, witch sun other Teller, just as smart, sails is
all a lie, wud be appreciated by this ar community on
that ar day NV all others. But tn sal nothin NV the
cusses that must hav bin shattered reound amongst
the vittels at yure expense by the Britishers them.
selves, at THAR dinner that mite, mi own feelins, an
that Nv evry Representative Nv the universal Yankee
nashun that | hav met since yu rit against the
dragin, air that yu, as an Amerikin, hav given a re-
spectacle porshun Nv this ere community a rite tn feal
insultid an ugly by yure peece in the paper that day.
If yu had only held yure bosses fr tn or thre
weaks or a munth or so, an then cum out with yure
dragin, nobody wud hav bin skeered or hurt; but as
it is, l don't see how yu-a down easter tu-with the
nolidge Nv human natur, and the principles Nv soft
soap and sawder (kurtesy,) wich cum material tn US
down-easters, cud hav dun it; but yu did, an putlick
opinion, as represented tn the Amerikins and Jar
Minis on the korner, feals sorry that yu didn't think
a little afore yu did it abeout wot or: tn be the fust
duty Nv an Editur NV the only paper here, that is,
tn cum as nigh as possible tn plasin ~ecrybudy hi 5ein
perlite an civil tn all. Suppos, Mr.. Editur. thar wus
a paper here edited bi mi friend " L. b." whom we
no tn be British all over, an whom we air willin tn
accept as a fine sampel Nv the Travelled Britin. Obi
the way, I'm a little disapinted in "L. B." fur l
kalkilated, wen he found he wus wurth so much no.
ticin as tn fill yure hOal paper up, that he wud tax
the PoiyneSidn on his own hook, an tri III driv his
stalk in thar.) Suppos sum 4th Nv July that he or
sum luther Britin shuld tell us that our old tune Nv
Yankee Doodle, wot we think so much NV. wus only
picked up out Nv the Skotch cutters and bawdy.
houses, and sot TO varses Nv Yankee manafactur; or
suppos he undertuk tn strip the fethers off Nv our Am
erikin Egle, in the same onmarciful stile that yu skin
ed St. Georges dragin. wot du yu suppos wud be there
suit. tho material histry dus sal that that air noble
bird steels sheep wen he's hungry and suntimes
carries of inersent babies? Why, he'd find thos
fethers fitted tn his own back with an undershirt Nv
North KarOlinar tar, in much less time than it wud
tax a Britisher tn think abeout it, and l guess yu
wudn't be the last man tn sal it saryed him right III.
1 tell yu wot it is, Mr.. Editur, you've got no small
rack on tn yure shoulders. tied up in that ere paper
Nv yourne, for yure paper is the Pdcifk Commercial
Advertiser, faint the Hawaiian Amerikin Egle, if
twas yu'd call it so. Now l want ter kno watts the
use Nv rilin and sprinklin hot water on tn our thin
skinned British folks that air here along with us, just
tn make EN- feel ugly. 'Taint as tho they'd gotta
paper Nv thar own tn tuch US up with. If they had,
then 'twud be all rite, an yu'd alers find me redy
an wnin tn back yu up in givin 'em Yankee Doodle with the
But as it is, Mr.. Editor, We Amerkins here in Ha- !
waii kan keap our end up, 1 guess, without pickin upon 'em,
an usin yure paper tn tell 'em skandalus stories about THAR
yung an frisky Lord Palmerston, an that " blessed baby" Id
like tn no, Mr.. Editor, if yuv livd so long in the wurld an havn't
arnt the danger Of maxim fun Nv yung an newly married folks
ust baby. If you want tn larn a lessin in human nature. w
list tri it on with sum yung muther, that yu may no, an see {
now yum come of. Du yu suppos, tho she don't du yu any par
damige THAR an then, she'll ever f9rgit yu? nary time, not
yu lv tn be as old as MathusIa.