Mineral Point weekly tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1859-1868, 1864-03-02
aifS.

A certain Mr.. David Fender, popping the
question in a letter, concluded thus =" And
should YOU say YES, dear Mary, / will truly be
your d. Fender.
An uumannerly wag being asked by the
landladv of his boarding house why, being so
tall man, he ate so little, replied, Madame
q little goes IA great way with me"
&c Mother" said young Scott, on being
told that all men are made of clay, " Duncan
Donclson has aue Lee, has the clay been unco
dear, dye think, when he gangs wi a timber
ane 90
'WelI, sir. said Dunner to his errand boy,
did YOU present the account To NJ. Dunup:7
Yes. SIR" And what did he saw" 'He
told me TO 90 10 the Devil, sir" And what
did you do then?" Why, then, sir, came
TO YOU, of course"
While recently engaged in splitting wood
Jones struck a false blow, causing the stick
10 fy up. 1t struck him on the Jaw and
knocked out front tooth. Aye" said Bill
meeting him soon after, you've had dem
tai operation performed / see" Yes said
the sufferer, accidental
A gentleman. seventv-fve years of age
recently lost his wife 4 yrne rabIe lady, a
ueiEhhor, of nearly four score years, was ask
ed if she had called on her old friend since
he bad lost his wife. "Whv, no, indeed y
would not look well for widow like rae TO
call on him now, as he is a widower."
An affecting incident occurred at the
New Haven barracks the other day. \ wo-
man desired to see her husband-embraced
him, began To sob and cry violently. Hus-
band gave her his handkerchief TO wipe her
ewes, after which she curiously manipulatedtt
under her shawl and returned it to him.
Husband took It as if It was a brickbat. OH
Ger of the guard investigated, and found q
bottle of old rye whisLey in handkerchief.
-Foote was in the habit of initiating the
peculiar manner of General Smith, whom he
introduced into his comedy of The Nabob,
under the name of Sir Matthew Mite. One
day the General sent for Foote. SIR" said
he, - hear You have an excellent turn for
mimicrv. and ind that l, among others, have
been the subject Of your ridieule." & Oh"
said FoCte, gaily, . take all my acquaintan-
cCs of At times and, what Is more wonder
full I often take myself of PRAY let Us
have "a specimen said the General. Foote
put on his hat and gloves took his cane. made
a short bow. and retreated from the house
without uttering another word.
Mr.. Aberncthy rarely met with his match
except upon one occasion, when he was sent
for hy IN inu-keeper, who had had quarrel
with his wife and who had SCARED his face
ing. and much disfrured Mr. Abenethv
considered this an opportunity not 70 be lost
for admeuisninE the offender and said, Mad
anne, are YOU not ashamed of yourself 10 treat
your husband thus, who * the head of you
@i.-your head, Madame ?" " Well. doctor"
hercely retorJed the virago, land may l not
scratch my own heads"
Two clerEymCa. one Il Presbyterian and
the other Of the Dutch Reformed Church,
were seated IN j0vial mood before the fire
place enjoying themselves in a friendly chat
The Dutehman, ike most OF his brethren. an
inveterate smoker, in rising from the fire at
which he had relighted his pipe, struck the
back Of lis head against the wall Of the chin
new Ouch" he cried, +" that makes my
head ring" - Then il must be hollow" said
his friend. Does not your head ring when
YOU strike it.n inquired the other. No"
- Then il must be cracked, was the rejoinder.
- The weather Is remarkably mild il
New England. Massach; lse:..s papers say that
trailing arbutus, the buds Just ready TO burst
into blossom, has been found in some sunny
nook at Chieopee, Mass, and it is the middle
of EaI