The Portland daily press., 1864-07-01
A Good Story.

The following from the EDITORS Drawer
of Harper's Monthly Tor July will be enjoyed
by all our readers, and will have an especial
interest to all who know genial, jolly Sam
Silloway of the steamer Granite State, OF
whom IL is a true tale:
One OF our up-the-Sound friends furnishes
the following:
"Dead-beat" is the euphonious term applied
to any individual who, under the plea OF des-
titution of the neediul, seeks 10 travel by
rail or steamer without rendering an equiva-
lent in current funds. A case of this kind
recently came to our notice, In which two
feminine "dead-beats" were cleverly out
witted.
Not many months since, Sam S., the
popular and fun-loving clerk of favorite river
steamer, while collecting tickets from the
passengers, discovered that two well-dressed
females on deck were not only unsupplied
with tickets, but also without money-ac-
cording to their own story. Sam politely but
unsuccessfully attempted to persuade them
that they were wrong; mentioned that he had
met with just such cases before, and always
found that they were mistaken, &c. But his
appeals. though ranging "from grave to gay
from lively TO severe" were fruitless; the fair
but somewhat INSCRIPTIONS travellers continu-
ed TO affirm impecuniosity. Leaving them for
a while, Sam finished his round, and sought in
the depths OF his Office to excogitate a plan
for ensnaring the enemy. His inventive and
ever-fertie genius soon devised an expedient
One OF the women was Irish, the other native
land probably ito the manner born" " with an
iniantile dead beat" in her grasp. SEEKING
Webster Unabridged, which lay in the office,
Sam attached to the cover an improvised
paper cross, and with this formidable docu-
ment under his arm majestically approached
the Emeraldine.
MADAM" said Sam, "do you observe this
Catholic Bible which have In my posses
stomp
s'Sure / do" was the reply.
swell, then, il you have no money you
must swear to it. Put your right hand on
that cross, and make oath to the truth of what
repeat TO you"
Madam tremblingly placed her hand on the
cross.
You do solemnly syear," commenced Sam.
in sepulchral voice, shat the contents Of
this book are true, TO the best of your knowl-
edge and belief; that you haven't got any
money now; that you never had any, and
new" At this point our Catholic friend
precipitately withdrew her hand; the oath
was getting too strong for her aroused and
guilty conscience. The relentless Sam stern
? ~ insisted upon the completion of the oath !;
but the now wailing Hibernian, not daring TO
comply, vainly tried to evade the issue. Find
lux LuTEucutOT lltAOTdDltt k0S suddenly
reeollected that she had IA friend on board
who would perhaps lend her the amount
needed. mo doubt of it," said Sam; 'neyer
knew 1t TO fail; these friends always happen
along Just in the nick of time. I'll give you
inst one minute 10 see your friend, and shall
then call on you for the money" Returning
at the expiration of the minute, the dollar
and a quarter was handed over, and pocketed
IN triumph by Sam.
The other woman who had been suspiciously
watching the proceedings, was not SO easily
managed. Sam saw at glance that she was
imperyious to "oaths" of any description or
in any quantity: he must change his tactics
My friend" said he, "if you haven't any
money you must give me some proof OF it.
Turn your pockets inside out" "But can't;
/ have got my baby" "Oh, I'll take your
baby responded Sam-and take 1t he did.
snow empty your pockets" The pockets
were emptied without revealing any money.
"Neyer mind" remarked Sam, condong-
ly, "I'll keep the baby; my wife has been
wanting one for some time, and will con-
slider this cheap at a dollar and a quarter.
Au reUoirw And off he marched with his
prize, and intrenched himself in his office.
The babe not fully approaching the desirable
ness of this change OF base, began to squal
Sam trotted 1t on his knee aud tried to as
suage its sorrows, but in vain; the more he
trotted, the more vehemently did it lament,
and clutch at Sans spectacles. At length, in
considerable disgust, he placed it on the floor
A knock at the door interrupted Sans con
temptation OF his newly found treasure. I'm
locking the door, he saw, las he expected)
the mother Of the child, who told him ior-
tunately she had met friend who, having
known her "in her better circumstances" had
kindly loaned her dollar and a quarter
Precisely" said Sam, as she handed him the
money. II thought SO all the time. Take
your infant and be happy. / wouldn't be
hired 10 touch it againw The discounted
female retired with her offspring, and Sam
lighting cigar, smoked in calm satisfaction
at the result of his strategy.