Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1864-07-30

lie weskit? Why don't you show us q
statesman who can rise up to the Emer.
gency, and kave in the Emergeney's
head?
Congress, you wou't d. Go home you
vulnerable devils-go home
At a special Congressional lection in
my district the other day. I delib'ritly
voted for Henry Clay. I admit that Hen.
ry is dead, but inasmuch as We don't seem
TO have a live statesman in our National
Congress, let US by all means have irst'
class corpse.
Them who think that cane made from
the timbers Of the house l once boarded
in is essential to their happiness, should
not delay about sendin' the money right
on for one.
And now, with genuine hurrar for
the wimin who air goin' to abandon furrin
goods, and another for the patriotic every.
where's. III leave public matters and in.
dulge in little pleasant family gossip.
My reported capture by the North Amer.
can savijs of Utah, led my wide circle Of
friends and creditors to think that had
bid adoo to eartly things, and was an an
gel playin' on golden harp. Hents my
rival home was unexpected.
1t was / in the evening when I reached
my homestid and knockt healthy knock
on the door thereof.
A night cap thrusted itself out OF the
front chamber winder. (Itw my Be.sy's
night cap) And voice said:
"Who is It p
"It is man. answered in grutf
! vols -
~ don't believe It'll" she sed.
"Ihen come down and search me-
replied.
Their resumiu' my natiral voice, sed,
"1t is your own A. W., Betsy! Sweet lady
wake Ever OF thou!
"Oh," she said, "it's you is it? I
thought smelt something"
But the old old was glad to see me. In
the morning found that NY family were
entertainn' a artist from Phi|adelphy, who
was there painta' some startlin' water.
falls and mountains. and l morein sus.
pected he had hankerin for my oldest
dauter.
"Mr. s;mmerhorn, father" said my
dauter.
"Glad to see you, sir,' I replied in a
hospittle vols; "glad to see you.'
I" He is an artist, father sed my child.
"A whichist
"An artist-a painter
"And glazier asat "Are you q
painter and glazier, eh?'
My dauter and wife was mad, but l
couldn't bel p it, felt in comiki mood.
" 1t is wonder to me, Sir said tho
artist, "consdern' what q widespread
reputation you have, that some Of our
Eastern managers don't secure YOU
"lt's wonder to me-" said my wife,
"that somebody don't secure him with a
chain"
After breakfast went over to town to
see my old friends. The editor of the
Bugle greeted me cordially, and showed
me the follerin' artite he'd just written
about the paper on the other side Of the
street:
"We have recently put up in our Office
an entirely new sink, of unique construc.
tion-with two holes, through which the
soiled water may pass to the new bucket
underneath. What will the hell-hounds
Of the Advertiser say to this7 We shall
continue to make Improvements as fast as
our rapidly increasing business may war.
rant. Wonder whether certain editors
wife thinks she can palm off brass watch.
chain on the community for gold one ?"
"That,' says the Editor, "hits him
whar he lives. That will close him up as
had a. ii did when wrote an article ridi-
cooling his sister, who's got cock eye"
A few days after my return, was shown
young man, who says he'll be Dam II
he goes to the war. lie was sittin' on
Barrel, l. was indeed Loathsum obieck.
Last Sunday l heard Parson Ba,kins
preach, and the good old man breaches
well, too, though his prayer was ru.her
lengthy. The editor of the Bug!e, who
was with me, said that prayer would make
fifteen squares solid nonpareil.
don't think Of nothing more to writo
about. So, "B'leeve mo if all those en-.
dearing young charms" &C.. &c.
4. WARD.