The Union. [volume] (Georgetown, Del.) 1863-1866, 1864-05-27
agif, ssjisaom, saa asniaur.
aoad IuAgamemt.

years ago, who prided himseh upon He'e1
being mistaken in his judgment Of persons
character from his phiz, which we copy
from an exchange:
He was in Washington market one day, to
get goose for dinner. Inlooking about he
saw q lot before young woman with pc
cnliary fine open ccuntenance.
"She's honest" said Bunce to himself; and
at once asked her if she had-a young goose.
,aYes,Y said she; s'here's as fine one as
YOU can get in the market" and che looked
up into his face with perfect sincerity that
would have taken his heart if he had not al
ready made up his mind as to her character.
"You are sure it's youngf"
"To be sure it is p and Bunce took it homs.
All l'etorts to eat it were fruitless, it was 50
tough and the naxt day he hastened down
to market. angry with himself and more so
with the honest faced girl WAC had cheated
him.
didn't you tell me that goose was young
yesterdayf" he exclaimed, strid-ng up to
the girl wrathfully.
"To be sure l did,,
You cheated me. . aaid B.neei ''it was
tough old gandcr."
You don't call me Oh, Do y5al' size asa
| ed
"No-I should think not," he replied.
| "No-I should think noi, too. arn only
twenty. and mother told me the gcose was
hatched just SIX months after was born
| Bunce had forgotten that goose lives
hundred years.
~ y A gentleman lately overheard the
following conversation betveen man aud
woman, who appeared as if they had just re-
turned from pleasure trip to sone OF the
out-oftown resorts;
Wants to be a "Hangel."
Woman---Blow me, Bill, how tired feel,
I'm as miserable, too, as starved cat. What
a miserable world this is l wish I'd never
been b. IN. that ] do; and now that ! am
born wish myself dead again.
Ma,a-why, Bet, what's the matter with
YOU nowf What are you grumblng about
Ron.an-Why, don't tell yer I'm miset-
able as a rati
Mass--MissfgDis, indeed Tiny, what osf
earth would yer have2 You was drunk on
Monday, and you was drunk again on We'd
nesday, and I'm blest if that inst pretty
near enough pleasure for yer, doa't know
what is. suppose you wants to be dswn-
right bangle here upen earthl
PETER Brown kept small country gro
Gerry. Living in an agricultural district,
customers were very scarce, and sales few
and light. However, he had garden ad-
t Joining his store, and when not employed
! within, he was attending to his vegetables.
, Gns day farmer drove up, and stopping, he
familarly exclaimed:
: SCOT any salt, Peter :"
'No," the grocer replied.
/ Two hours afterward the farmer drove
a back, he having been distance Of ten miles,
a and visited several other stores in the course
{ of his ride.
: "Tompkins, did you find any saltpeter ~
a called Mr.. Brown from his garden, resting
on his hoe. f-
"saltpeter no, didn't want that; Iwant-
b ed saltI"
s 'why didn't you say SO in the first places'
a replied Peter. ~ have plenty of salt"
a@-An individual is told of as doing busi-
ness in one of the markets, who is down on
!, customers who don't speak properly. whats
eggs, this guorningf" says customer. Eggs
of course, says the dealer. Il mean how
! do they got" go wherefs "sho--l" says
a the customer getting up hisJitry, ''what for
u eggsf" 'sMoney, money, sir! or good en-
dorsed oreditg' says the dealer. "Den't
YOU undsrstsld the English language, sirF
saws the customer. 'fNot as you mix ant
= mipgle it / don't pa responded the egg mS'
=. shant. --price--tser-i' zel
for--your eggs" All, now yin ''a' se
the dealer. Thirty cents PC 9 zaur ID t9
!, price, sirp They traded. Ia j. alg4t1
taat an otLs, customer, who o. a.4.as, IS q. 4
- eggs In 8 mcrning" was answered 'aass =
= eou. Sc" repopded, 'well,, Tn &. .4a OF tlai
: for the last got of you wese EA.i ca..~eas.'
: souTRERN .oAvEs.-A hali-i...n .sAel fel
ID l5w in the Southern States tells oi a brake
Al (whose icaves had been growing small D.
d, degrees, aud beautifully less,') VINO whe
n. going the rounds to serve bis customers
as stopped at the door of one knocked when tn
in lady within exclaimed:
.w who's tkere2' and was answeIed,
of The baker
10. What do you wantp
No To leave your bread
A. We'll. you needn't mako snch fuss abou
nd it--put it through the ksyhole
we The experience Of many lhe-"WhGt
be- fool have bssni' The experience Of man
ite a wiie-sWhat fool I've gotp s
lat Somebody says that the oldest hushsndr
aa he knows of ia the marring of widowt
he in clover with widow in weeds.
whJ is dried lemon like an old maid
nd Because it was nads TO sqnzed and wasa'
he ks}ad5 who wears pretty little slipper
cftoa lcYsd BY the seot