The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1864-01-13

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their cause who will claim or accept British
protection :. An army teamster on the
Cumberland was hub deep in mud and
swearing like pirate at his mules. The
Chaplain of the regiment, passing by, said
to him: my friend, do you know who
died to save sinners p "D-n your conun.
drums" said the teamster, don't you see
I'm stuck ?" -. Millions Of frogs recently
marched, or hoped, across . district in
Southern France, much to the alarm pi the
people. An immense swamp which they
had occupied, dried up, and they instinct
lively made for the river Witnesses say
that the little frogs rode on the backs of the
old grey boards! Frenchy. "A Rich
mond refugee says Davis will cut his !hroat
shortly. As Friday" said to Crusoe About
the Lords claiming the Devil for thou
sand years, why didn't he (Jef:) 10 SO
before he did so much mischief". :. An
old lady named all her sons "McDuff that
they might clay on" and never cry, "lold
enough!'. =. "A sixty-year old boy I'M RI,
Ireland, whipped his ma because her NOR
ais were bad {. Girls should not kiss
girls, nor boys, boys. Cross the kising
always. Louis Napoleon is said Il be
"the man who says nothing, and yet always
lies" ia jealous man came homs one
night and found man standing at the foot
Of his wife's bed. Say yon prayers, vii
lain," and Jealousy fired revolver at the
intruder. On examination 1.-THE sham man"
was made of pillows, &C., to cure the real
man of bis disease. laugh round, and
mutual apologies settled all domestic troub-
les.
Six fingered nfgro children are said to be
quite common in portions Of Virginia.
Too much mater for the form is what's
the matter. :. "A London bankrupt's ef-
fects showed fifty two yards Of silk in one
of the dresses Of his wife. No wonder he
failed. III profit of sixty millions in
taxes accrues to the government, can
liquor seller or drinker be "disloyal?" Are
not the Maine Law men the "Coppelheads?"
90. The debt of New York city is % and
that of Philadelphia is "a millions. What
are "a to 240O millions Will Con.
gress repeal the duty on foreign paper and
Goa. or must we do without intelligence and
fuel ?.... Congress is about to re.aonex the
city Of Alexandria to the D. G. Why did
Congress ever cede it back to Virginia o.. .
The rage for plaid dresses, cloaks, &c., &C.,
is terrific. Why not? Is not lib itself
checkered ?. . Jennie June says the young
ladies Of New York arc generally to lazy
or too proud to skate. -. "A ministc, is like
a locomotive-you look out for hin when
the bell rings. .. There are three apple
trees near Dubuque which were planted by
Julien Dubuque, in the year 1906. One
of them is dead and the others are rapidly
declining. >. Rhode Island has steam
spading machine which is equal to Is yoke
of cattle. Where is Judge Wi!lians?. -.
A dashing widow lady wishes to sue some
gentleman for breach of promise, merely to
bring herself fairly into market. {. . The
Cashmere goat yields but 8 ounces to the
fleece no wonder the shawls bring 81 900.
....Ladies in Memphis have been arrested
for attempting to carry contraband goods
to the rebels. "One lady had a quantity of
gents cravats carefully wrapped round her
legs" Who wouldn't be a Provost Mar.
shall ?.... Brick" Of Lacrosse, IN giving
notes to eastern readers of the popularity
Of western winters, gets off the following
fishy one: "Fourthly. 1t freezes so hard
that ice forms from the surface to the bot
tom Of the river-where it is shallow-hun-
dreds of tons of ice have been cut for pack
ing for summer use, SO full of fish that the
whole country is supplied the year round"
A Boston one-legged skater is one of the
latest notions at the "hub.". An Eng
lshman has learned that eating bread and
milk fattened him and eating meat alone
made him slim. "A Methodist minister
came to his circuit. Old Blunt wanted to
be smart with him: "Please sir, tell me
how old the Devil is" keep your own
family record" said the minister and left
amid the roar of the company. The
survivors Of the colony of blacks that en-
igrated to the West Indies have petitioned
to come back. Administration organs call
the experiment failure; common sense
organs knew the whole negro policy Of the
Administration to be failure long ago.
Experience keeps dear school but, &C.,
&c. :. ED" Holton Of Milwaukee, is in
Europe-he goes against Poland and in
favor of Russia; freedom for the blacks and
chains for the whites is the tenor Of his
letters. Smart but crazy. Queen Vic
toria wants to marry big Scotchman end
her subjects don't like it.. We remember
a long list of widowed queens who married
privates in life and lived happily. Owen
Tudor, W elsh soldier married KATE, the
widow of Henry V. and the Tudor name
was thus immortallized. A lady so happy
in married life as Vic ought not to waste
her sweetness on the desert air. Wouldn't
it be good plan to send Prince John Of
Undertook over there ito spark" her
again. This alliance would make our Eu-
ropean complications "all hunk!' Will
Abram please issue proclamation on the
subject?
A ReprooE:
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