The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1864-08-25

ARENAS Ward mas been on tour to
Salt Lake City, where he saw and became
intimate with Brigham Young. He re-
lates portion of his experience
In private conversation with Brigham,
l learnt the followin fax: 1t takes him
six weeks to kiss his wives He don't do
/. only onct year, and says its wuss nor
cleanin house. He don't pretend to know
his children, there is SO many of um, tho
they all know him. He says about every
child he meets calls him Par, and he takes
it Tor granted it is SO. His wives are
very expensive. They alters want some
thing, and eff he don't agree, they set the
house In an uproar. He says he don't
have minits peace. His wives fite among
themselves SO much that he has bilt fitin
room for thare speshul benefit, aud when
too OF EN- git into a row he has um turned
loose inty that place, where the dispoot is
settled according to the London prize ring.
Sumtimes they abooz himself Individually.
They have pulled the mos. of his hair out
at the roots, & he wares many horrible
scarupon his body, inflicted with mob han
dies, broom sticks, & sich.
Occashunally they git mad and seaId
him with bilia hot water. When he got
any vase cranky, tbe'd shut him up in a
dark closit, previsely wippin him arter
the style of muthers when their offspring
gifts unruly. Sumtimes when he went in.
swimmin, they'd 60 to the banks of the
lake d steal his close, thereby compellin
him to sneek home by sircootious rowt,
dresst in the Scanderlus stile Of the Greek
Slaiv.
al find that the keers of married he
way hevy on me-" sed the Profit, "and
sometimes [ wish Ide remained singfe''
left the Profit & started for the tavurn
where L put up to. On my way was
overlook by large crowd Of Mormons,
which surrounded me and stated that they
was going into the show free.
"Well," sez l, Get find individual
who is goin round lettin folks into his
show free, lie let you know
"We've had a revelashun hidden us to
so into A. Wards show without payin
nothin 2" they showted
EYES," hollered a lot of femaii Nor
monesscs, seizing me by the cote tales &
swingin me round very rapid, "we're all
goin In free, so says the Revalashun ~
whats Old Revalashun got to do with
my show !" seq I gettin putty riled-@TelI
Mister Revalashun," sez drawin myself
up to my full hite and lookiu round upon
the ornery crowd with proud and defiant
mean-"Tell Mister Revalashun to mind
his own business, subject only to the
Konstitution of the United States"
ooh, let US In, that's a sweet man," sed
several femails, putin their arms round
me in luvin stile. "Becum of us; becum
a Priest, and hev wives sealed to YOU"
'.Not seal" seq l, startin back In hor-
ror at the idee. -s5
ooh, stay, sir, stay ~ said tall, gawnt,
temail, ore whose he'd 81 Summers must
have parsed; "stay, Il lie be your Gentle
Gazelle"
"Not eff know it you WON'T" sez L.
"Awa, yu scanderlus femai., ava! Go ~
be Nunnery." That's what sed, and
jest so.
"&," sed a fat, chunkey femail, who
must have wade more than too hundred
lbs, "I will be thy sweet gidin Star"
"Sez L, ole bet two dollars and a half
you wont! Where ere l Rome lie still
be troo 2 thee, o Betsy Jane" ~ (N. b.:
Betsy Jane is my wife's name.)
"Wilst thou not tarry with us into the
Promisc cl Land 2" sed several of the mis-
erable critters.
'.Ile see you all espeshally cussed b4 I
wiist," roared [, as mad as Good be at THAR
noncents. | girded my Loins &
fed the Seen. Ipackt up my duds & left
Salt Lake, which is grand Sodium aud
Germorrer, inhabited by as vane and on
prlncipled set Of retches as ever drew
breth in eny spot on the Globe.