, 1864-06-26


+: Necessity never made good bargain. Siil r: r:
"A rMe mt can have patience can have what hs
III prosperity, prepare for change; ,, IN "a aa.,
: 1eraity, hspe for one. ,.... - :
Coed viii, llke : good name, /. goth many
actions, md lost b. one. - ! - :
. a. mans belief gains infinitely the moment.
be can convince another mind thereof. " =
/ To convert an artless woman 'ints heart
less one, there only wants the, II :: y:
.QuiIp says the. xQnng lady who creates the
most trouble is Miss Apprehension
: Men prove their courage by going to the
battl leheld, and women hy marrying the men:
People shouldn't talk about having the Sc;
cond sober thought who never had The first
/. Hewho does not bring up hlsson to an hon.
est employment bEsaaFs him up to be thief
Working and liking shonld go together
the thinker working, aud tho worker think
Ing
We must ut last come down with our 1T
tie all of dust to satisfy the s1ernest dun Of
duus. :
T.: Army contractors are something like an.
buehed enemies who Lie in scriqht- Aye, and
In measure, too.
Mmen wear false calves, 1t may at least be
said IN their behalf that they themselves are
real ones -, =
- You had better learn wisdom and prudence
by the mishars OF your neignbors, than wait
70 learn them from your own. =,
There are many fair devotes who can wor-
ship nothing except themselves, the Devil
4: 4 great many persons wish to live their
lives over again because they see where they
might have sinned-and didn't.
Every wrinkle in dandy's pantaloons
produces one upon bis face, ~ If tho latter
were the lining Of the for7er.
Itmight be impossible to put the multi
| plica1ion table into rhyme, but we have all
| heard OF the Rule of Three !n-yctte.
T. 4 week filed up with selfshness;rand the
Sabbath stuffed full religions exercise, will
make good PhArfaee. but poor Christian
Ha uho aeeka to increase the quantity OF
n DIS !anoa o. unjust salas at law, will probah.
~ soon find himself AZ Eroundless n hin
1 suits.
The poor have incredibly more hope than
the rich; hence lotteries, like othef eplde-
! mice, attack poor devils oftener than men Of
wealth.
The jaw bone OF an ASS, cotemporary
thinks, has done more destruction In this
country than It ever did In the hands Of
sampson.
A cotempoFary tells us of the sod case Of a
man who was shipWreck.d d and cast upon m
! ppinhablted island, without shilling In his
! pocket
| It is ! sad thing that generally as man'a
fears grow, and - his hopes grow, his oaths
and cursee also EroW-those ejaculAtory
prayers to the devil
"A man defines his standing in the court Of
ehastity BY his views OF women. He eaunot
be bis own friend If holding her in dla-
esteem,
The females of some Of the Indian tribes,
In order to keep silence, dll their mouths
With water. Our women fill theirs With
tea, and gossip more then ever.
A little boy, in an Ger good family, Was re
bnked for looking into hs spellingsbook or
Sunday. Says be. II don't see why can'1
read the Testament on week-dsys!"
When l find my friends are not ofthc sam.
age aa when first knew them, may con
c1nde myself, not them, to be decaging and
1oosing favor. Is 1t not friendship one will
longevity OF youth! and Its tragedy that st
lew survive this, and their faith In It,
4 The influence of society on the individual il
he great governing, educsting, eos.srva:is'
individual upon eocisty Is the great proarts.i,'
element, raising the standard of knoWIede
Of virtue, ot piety.-Graesnhurss.
a short time since, master in gr1mma.
school, censuring pupil for duilness, sail
s1s not the price OF = penny bun always i pen
: ryl' when the boy tnnoccntly replied, "So
sif, thar sell them TWO for thrso half penc
when they arc stale+H
A captain ofA vessel loading Goals wen
!. into ! merchants counting -house, and re
Questel the losn Of d rake. The merchant
looking towards his clerks, replied, II hav
a number Of them, but none, l believe, wis
to be hauled over the coals-"
The following notis'' was pinned by
fashionable lady boasder 1t Congress Hali:-
"Lost, on tie Sd PiassIa Of the New Win
A brown middel and cherry cullered Border
ed Shawl. the Finder Will be Ltbbernlly r
wsrded by leaving it at The oils or at Roo1
number-.h
L. Hc who, In bis perple1Ity, resorts to false
/ hood, may seem secure Tor little while, bl
is sure to be soon overwhelmed with create
pefplexity than before. 1ust - the man VIII
) In shower takes refngs under tree. is pre-
tected at first and then tlnds himself Wors
'.enched than ever.
"Whelercr co." SAIL gentleman r
markable for his state prids, ri am sure I
= | End sensible men from my ewn state" I" N
Wonder" said the geatlems an he was addrcs
:n sst q IT t. sts.s xh0 has
! 4 colonel of ops. OF the reglm snts attache
to the arny Of tho Potomac, WAS recentl
planning at an evening party that, froi
the tgnorauce and iuattention Of the of11cel
he vas obliged to do the whole duty Of Il
:, regiment. sald he: II an my own tasjol
, own sergeant. and''-"Your own trump,
Ter" said a lady present
: !. A lieutenant was promenadlng In full IN
form one day, and approached volunteer Q
: sentry who challenged hin with, "Halt
!, who comes there!" The lieutenant, Wit
!. contempt in every unament Of his face, q,
! pressed his Ire with indignant "Ass!" Th
= sentry's reply, apt and quick, came, d" A.
!, vance, ass, and give the counterslgu."
The following dialogue is said to have tai
!. en- Place recently between 4 married coup
=. on their travels - Ny dear, are you cor
= Portable in that cornery" "Quite, thar
y1a asa5 sn5e - 1hstss plenty ), q
. "Qrite certain, darling" "Then, my des
I'll change places with you"
q Punch on mourning proprietics: Gust
i mer-1 want mourning hat land If "
t plc1ee. Hatter-Nhat relation, sirs Gust
mer-9Ffle's uncle: H&tter--Favorite uncl
: May ! ask, sir, are you mentioned In tt
D why Cuetomer-No such luck. Halter {,
, bis assistant, briskly}-Couple Of inche
! John.
= a Connecticut officer sends the Hartfo
t CouIaut ZONE '' poetry" which =! Is found
d the ' Rebel soldicr.'.' This il the frat .nour
d ful verse;
!. twill eat Ehen I am hungrsy will dr;,
], when get drJ
. II the 1anEB don't ell me I will live.tt1l I
q lfMully fu1eakes me It will caus me to moa
q an rebel soldier d long way frum home
: Two gentlemen were riding In at co4c
= "hen ohe Of them, misplacing bis handke
chief, 12shly accused TIE other Of havu
: = stoltn It; but SOON finding it: had the 70,
! manners to beg pardon tor afrpnt suyinx
Was mittakr;, TO which tie other reptile
= with great readiress, "Don't be- uuetsy,
= w4s mutual mistake: Ju1 took INC for
!. thief, and took you for gentleman"
0 Lord Shaflsb1r5 recently stated, in pu
r lie meeting in Lundou, that, frum person
. observation, he had ascertained that OF .,du
is male crimis ais Of that city, nearly all had Il
J ! Tel into course OF crime between the az
7 OF eight and etxteen ycars; and that, Il
Young man lived IN honest lift up to TWEEN
/. 3tArs OF age, there were 70. .ty- nine chanc
Ia IN 1aEor, and only one against hiu, Is TO-
10 honorable life thereafter.
7, The hat was pussed around in = certa
: congregation tor tae purpose Of taken mp
o collection, After it made the circuit of t
, church, 1t was banded u the minister, wh
X b. the way, had Exchanged pulpitsa wi
:: the regular preacher, md ne found not pc
Is n. In IT, he Inverted the nat uver the p,
e pit cushion and khuok 1t, that its enlpttne
d might be known, then .raislng bis eyes I
y wards the ceiling, be exclaimed, with gre
u fayoE, II thank God that got blck my b
le frcm this cougregatIon.'
70 Little Mamie Is q close student OF the
bIt, but not very cltar As to some potn
= Ma." said she, ooe Sunday evening, ait
- hasfuE sat like good child Ill day In I