, 1864-04-16


aMr. Brown" said q constable to this
ubiquitous parsonage the other day, " how
fnany COWS do you own 2" !
WHY do you ask Z" was the query. ~
Because l wish to levy on them, was
the prompt rejo;nder. :, Ac 4
"Well, let me sce,' said Mr.. b., ab!
stractcdly, show many COWS does the lav
allow me 7" Fl
@TYo," replied the constable. i, *,
"Two," said Mr.. T., with good natued
astonishment; 9 we'll, if the law allowsne
two, l wish it would send the other a)ng,
as / haven't but one |" '5r7
At recent negro celebration, an Irish
man stood listening to Fred. Douglas, who
Vas expatiating upon Governmdt and
Freedom, and as the orator came q q Pc
riod from the highes. political heghts, the
Bedad, he ipakes well for Ssissgseer.S
Don't you know" said one "that he
isn't a negf5? he is only half ieero." /,
! "0nly half nager, IS he Well, y \
half nager can talk in that stle, I'm think
ing whole nager might bet the prophet
Jeremiah"
A well.known Turfman, whose. horses,
during certain season, hal been distanced
almost every time they IN, made very.
witty reply to his young yiiS, sta dinner
party, when she asked lin what the abr.
breSiation q dis meant, which she had al
ways seen attached to the. names Of his
horses he gentlamm looked up and
down the knowing line d. faces at the table,
and replied that means distinguished,
my dear Y #.
Professor TsTdaG states that the weight
of this Garth is such, and the velocity
with which il moves so great, that IL u
should suddenly stop, the heat it would
create would he sufficient to reduce It to a,
thin yaror. Prof. Tyndall adds that :. If
after the stSppage Of its motion, the earth
should fall into the sun, as il ,dssuredly
would, the amount Of heat generated By
The blow would be equal to that developed
by $500 worlds cf solid carbon"
A German statistical writer remarks
that the invention Of the sewing machine
has enabled one woman to sew rs much as
a hundred could sew by hand century
ago. but, he continues, one. woman now
demands us much clothing as hundred
did century ago--so that the situation ID
not much changed after all. !.
The Museum Of Prague has just received
a valuable gift, consisting Of colossal map
cf ChiGa, Composed Of eight largo rolls
Of paper, neatly fitting each other. TEis
work was executed in the 18th century BY
some Catholic missionaries, under the Eni-
peror Kang, Hi:
A lecturer was dilating upon the power.
Of the magnet, deiying any one to show OF.
name anything. surprising it. !. A hcsier
demured and instanced q young lady who
used to drew him thirteen miles every day.
When the first Grsek FIRE she'll from Gil,
rdore's batteries exploded ID Gbarlestop., d
contraband who witnessed tie spectacle
jumped up, aud, clapping his hands, exl
claimed, " See dar, he'll hab laid an egg"
It is now discovered that pictures may
be photographed on steel, and an engraving
thus obtained will give Eve thousand CO..
pies. illustrated looks will. now be the
rule rather than tho exception.
al suppose, jim, That if ! were to jump
INTO The, Nater here, l should find il over
hiy head and ears"
"Cver your bead; Frank, but probably
not over your cars"
Is T.
Ayoung fellow has as good right to spoil
a magazine full Of essays in learning how
to write, as an-occulist has to spoil hat. full
Of eyes in learning how 70 operate for cat
artct!
"War," says Herodotus, "rcverses the
crder Of nature. In times Of. peace sons
bury their fathers, but in time Of war
fathers bury their sons"
Foote, on being seolded by lady, said,,
. / have heard Of tartar and brimstohe 1
you are the cream of the one and the flower
q tho other"
Many writer seems to think that he il
never either profound or practical, except
when he cannot understand bis OwA Ma1lI
ing.
Soft soap, in some shape, plcases all, aiS
cor erallv sIieakiSoo fha .onra l,-o ,,o,, III