The Union. [volume] (Georgetown, Del.) 1863-1866, 1864-03-25


"Phelim Mccormick, you uninhospita-
BILE haste! where's yer mannersr cried
the spectre.
"What is it?" inquired the other in sur
prise.
''What is it2 ye unmannerly hound"
cried Terry, "I'll tell ye. Here ye sit
pouring potheen down yer ugly ould throat,
widout as much as 'wid your lave,' or
here's TO your health, Terryv"
Phelim's mouth and eyes opened to
their utmost extent as he listened to the
words of his ghostly visitor.
"You don't mean TO tell me" said he,
''that you, ghost, can. drink whiskey like
mortal MANI"
"Thry mel" was the grim response.
The astonished undertaken poured out a
goodly quantity of the liquor into a glass,
which-the liquor-quickly vanished
down the throat of Terry O'Rann. In
putting the glass down on the table, the
ghost appeared to touch the hand of Phe-
lin with his own. The old man quickly
withdrew his, for the touch of Terry was
ice-cold.
"Good spirits with bad ones agree" re-
marked Terry.
''Now tell me, Terry" said Phelim,
"what brought you here?"
"Me legs, of coorse," was the reply,
''but in truth have ventured out tonight
to tell you how relish the dirthy thricks
you served me wild; me, a poor, dead
corpse!'
"What have done to offend your" asked
Phelim.
"What have you not done, you black
guard?" replied Terry "In the first place
l was buried in boggy, low, damp place,
with wather enough about me to open
ferry or to set mill or two in operation"
"Why, man alive, I"
Its dead l am" interrupted Terry,
6ercely, dead, not alive, PLACE to remim-
ber, surw
"Well, then, permit me to say, Terry,
| had nothing to do wild the burying Of
YEP
'That's thrue enough, man." rejoined
the ghost" but don't ye see, if you had
made suitable coffin it would not have
mattered so much, for l might have float
ed about quite comfortably; but, bad cess
to ye, PheliM Mccormick, the blasted
thing OF a coffin ye made me was as full of
faults as an egg is full of mate. 1t was
too short, too narrow, an too low. | could
neither lie nor sit in it; was obliged TO
bend me iliigant straight legs to lie COM
fortably, and that position gave me the
cramp in them. Then again the wood in
the coffin is bad; tisn't waterproof, to
which fact | owe all me ills of body and
mind. The water soaked in upon me and
completely saturated me from head to tail
| got a cowld ia me throat in consequence
Of the wetting, a oramp in me stomach,
and blasted lumbago in me poor back; an
for all these ills you, Phelim Mccormick,
are responsible!
''Now listen to me, Phil; I'll make a
sort oy compromise wild ye. Promise me
an kape it too--to make me good
stout wather-defying coffin to fit me ILL
gantly, widout any Inconvenience to me
body, and I'll return peaeeably to me lone
hole and complain no more. But refuse
me sinsible request, and I'll kick up such
a hilabaloo as to blast your reputation for
ever, and I'll haunt all the people in Der
ry, take me woord for thatl"
The conclusion of this speech was ac-
companied by blow on the old table that
set the old bottle and glass fairly dancing.
'I'll accommodate ye," said Phelim.-
eff it is convanicnt to ye, I'll measure ye
now"
4oDo So" said Terry, aan' be quick
aboot it too, for me time is short!' looking
at little clock on shelf, which pointed
to quarter of an hour Of one. g l have
only one hour to do me visiting in, an
now l see that but fifteen minutes more
are left me. So hurry up, Phelim; take
ME measure, an I'll be helping meself to
a measure Of whiskey to kape the damp
ness from me heart"
The undertaken finished his work, then
said, "I'll make you the new coffin early
tomorrow forenoon, Terry, and put you
snug and dry in it by noon. Now, will
that suit your"
Beautifully" replied the ghost; 4" in
fact, Pm dhry now; SO come, old fellow,
let us take glass together, and toast the
lasses of Derry"
The glasses were filled and soon emptied
again, The ghost began to show symp-
toms of intoxication, and Phelim admon-
| lshed HIM TO cease his llbatlons OF serious
results might follow. But Terry, appa-
rently regardless of consequences, empticd
glass after glass, and Phelim followed his
example, until he also felt its effects.
At this moment the clock struck one !!
Terry started, gave terrible groan and
exclaimed
"Howly mother o. Moses, I'm done for !
wo is mel l am dead ghostP'
4. "What is the matter?" asked Phelim
momentarily sobered as he witnessed the
distress of his jovial ghostship.
| Didn't ye hear the clock strike one ?'
asked Terry.
"I did," said Phelim.
"Well, me times up, an it is but one
chance in thousand now that I'll liver find
me grave agin! But good morning, Phelim
Mccormick. Kape your promise, or
dhread my vengeanceP lsl.l
The next minute the tipsy undertaken
was alone, and soon after he threw himself
on his bed and fell asleep without saying
his prayers.
Next morning he acquainted his neigh