The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1864-07-13


To get something lively in our paper
occasionally, we clip from industrious and
sharp contemporaries. We string few of
Bricks" latc-caught fish:
ANOTHER DAY.-Nat Day, the attentive
Ticket seller at the Depot has so much
business on hand that he was forced to en-
ploy an assistant, so this morning q young
man who will be old enough to vote in
1885 came along and is stopping with
Mars family. At ten dollars an ounce the
little chap would be worth sixteen humid
red dollars, but NAT would not sell him
for twice that. Mother and child are doing
well.
The Bible speaks Of time when seven
women shall lay hold of one mar. That
unfortunate time will soon be here If Abe
Lincoln lays his hand on the half million
men he proposes to call out.
CAUTION. attending concerts
or theaters must not carelessly throw an
arm on the back of seat behind lady
who sits beside them, for if they do, at the
first meeting of the Sewing Society it will
be talked Of as a clear case of hugeing
Nothing like being nice when folks are
looking!
General Grant says the capture of Rich
mond is only question of time. 1t is
question Of Eternity with most Of his men.
The New York World says that Lin
coins best holt is in making jokes. Oh
Mr.. World-he makes widows and orphans
faster than jokes. In fact he is the great.
est widow maker ever known.
WILLARD FILLMORE FOR PREs1pENr.-We
learn that ex.presdent Willard Fillmore
stands good chance for the nomination
for President at the Chicago Convention.
1t would afford us pleasure to vote for him.
Here are a few clips from the Henry Cour.
Ter, published at Marshall Co., Ill. They are
found with several others nearly as good in
a column headed "Lacon Items, By an
Amateur" Knowing "chier' at La
CON who sometimes takes notes we can
guess the other name of Mr.. Amateur;
he would easily be recognized either here
or at Elkader:
We have been told that women are max
ing heavy pants in town for twenty five
cents. If this be true, we move special
?urgatory be prepared for any man who
would ask woman to toll with the needle
through long summers day with the
thermometer at ninety degrees for quar-
ter of a dollar, when calico is forty cents
yard, and -four nine dollars barrel. The
old institution is not hot enough for him.
TO say the weather the past week has
been warm, is drawing it altogether too
mild. A week ago it became uncomforta-
bic, and each day increased intensely TO
hot, hotter, hottest, hottentot, hotter
its no use trying, we've blistered our throat
already and give it up in despair, like the
man who split the ashes feeling that elan
guage fails to do the subject justice. When
butter turns to oil, ice water to steam,
when fish are caught ready cooked, when
hens lay boiled eggs, when beef steak is
broiled before butchered, when mint juleps
fail to satisfy, when the mercury rises above
the house tops it may be set down as a
warm spell of weather. ...N.@ 81.
All sorts of experiments arc resorted to
since the great advance in cotton goods to
exc out scantv wardrobe with slender
purse; but the strangest make shift we ever
had reference to-" was proposed by sur.
prised Teuton on being told that shecting
was half dollar yard, "Py jinks buys
nottings, l shust goes home und baints
mine wife A friend at our elbow, who
worships pink divinity in low neck and
short sleeves, hopes this practice may not
Lecome universal. 1E..