Delaware State journal and statesman., 1864-02-23
From the Noristown Republican.
FROM ARTEMUs WARD. Jr.
WAan1nnron. Ian. 2N. ,G

WAsHIE0ToH, Jan. 30, GA
The other day | maid a impromtoo visit to
the o. P. B., dliars "J. b." and sumtimes
call'd James Buchanan, for short.
Shoodn't wonder ev you hav herd ov the gay
and frisky youth. Hs was onot President OF the
U. States and kindly permitted the shiVilry to
steel Ingen Bons, muskets and pussonal proper
ty an real estate belonging TO the U. s., menny
to mention.
Jeems ar not as young as onct be was. He's
fast virgin to Deka, and has no wife to SOW
patehis on his trOwsis, or spend his money or get
up erly au go to market all by herself The
reason j. b has got nary wife, is bechuz he's
not marrid Ef he ever had a hankerin arter
feemail, wethinks he "neyer whispered his
love, but let Consealment, like bug in bed,
Pray on his damaged cheek"--which is kota-
tion from Mister Shakspere, take motifs.
Wal, l found Mr.. Buck TO his home. He
'peard in no foot) deep study. His silvery
lox wos artistcally dun up in the yeriuble Top
not we wos accustomed to sec in the days Of yore.
The days OF yore alloOded to, wos when be was
making long card animile ov hisself at the
White House. On q table fornenst j. B. was q
bottle ov prime Old Rye. Judgn from the depths
ov its contents, the bottom Ov the bottle had bin
Pinted toards the bloc hevius serVil times.
interjoosed my self lie told me be sent
ed, and then arskt me to partake ov sum o. Rye.
bed seated, but kindly refoOsed parlakesting
of the o. Rye a4sed. give him undersiau
that was all hunk, an then inquired arfter his
helth. He sed be was Sew-sew, but he had a
CRATE Wait restin onto his sholders. took a
observation ov his sholders, but failed to see ary
a CRATE Wait a restin thar. P'r'aps the the CRATE
Wait referred 10 wos the lives ov thoussns ov
Union Braves, which do rest onto his sholders to
a considerable extent.
Arlter ohattin, propoundid the folerin owes
chuns to him, witch wos principally my bizness
with his Excellensy;
''The afTares ov our country is vastly mkt ~
sez l.
"Rather," sez he.
"when you wOs Pres. you Good have prevent
id atfares from oein' vastly MKT"
''Y .e-s," see he.
"An why didn't you 20 on do it," seq 1.
Il didn't want to irritate Our Suthrin Breth-
rem" seq he.
"You mite hav skrusht this Rebellion in il
infancy, so to speak, and saved vast deal 0
Alizry, wo, and so 4thly ?" quOth l.
SITS trOo," quoth be.
as why didn't you go an Skrusk :"
~ didn't warnt to irritate Our Suthrin Breth
ren," he quoth.
"a. L. has maid Trump ov Pres. :" OBJ
saryed agin.
''To be candid, he has, sez be.
IAN he shOod be re-electsd :" suggested
"He shOodn't," seq he.
Explain" see 1.
"Becauz it would irritate Our suthrin Breth
ren," sez he.
dDo you think the Nuthrin COpperheds warn
to see the Union army konker in these war o
huge proportions 2" queried agin.
HThey don't' seq he.
e'Wby, o tell me why :" l cried-but nc
wildly.
"6ecaua," seq J. B., "it would irritAte The
suthrin Brethren"
"wot do you think ov the Fix your SENT al
enjoyingf" now arskt.
"Wal," sez he, "wal, l think the way il no
stands, it don't irritate Oar suthrn Brethre
much"
"Do you think A. L. had rite suspend Hi
bus Korpses ?"
"ile had" see Jeems; "but he shoodn't d
enyihing to irritate Our Suthrin Brethrin,"
An Bracket-ically let the undersind remark
: that the suspension ov Habus don't rritate epy
> body but Nuthrin and suthrin Rebs.
. That's SO, you can wager.
, "Don't you think" continood, addressin
3 B., "dont you think the re-enlstmen ov o
r troops will irritate Your Suthrin Brethren mo-
s than fewly."
tGt will, it will !" he moansd.
e "Who do you consider the best Nuthrin &c
/. ril, if | may be so bold to arsk ~
8 &c. Mcclellan" seE he.
, "Iu which respects 2" atkst.
s "Because he don't want TO irritate Our sut
: rim Brethren" aSz he.