The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1864-11-25
VOLUME x1. NUMBER Is.
Spare Lines.
= "You look as though you werc beside your.
self," said was to q fop standing BY sdoa.

"You look a. though you wefc beside your.
self," said wag to fop standing BY doa.
key. e.u. .-... 49,, be1yss..v
The proprietor Of bone-mill ADVERTISE
that "peuons sending their own bones 70 bs
ground. will be attended TO with punctuslity
and dispatch" .. ..i3, .i = snoiafr
An Irish guide told DR.. Sam johnson, who
wished for u reason why Echo was always Of
tho feminine gender, that "Maybs II WAS be-
cause sho always had tho last word"
A certain writer boasts that hs directs eli
bis shots at error. IL is all he has 10 shoot
at, for he certainly never goes within gun.
shot Of the truth. A ~ u,iF
"She isn't all that fancy painted her,"
bitterly exclaimed rejected lover: "apd
worse than that, she isntall that she paints
herself"
A young gentlemen says he thinks that
young ladies who refuss good ofers Of mar.
riago are "too No.ing BY half"
"Too late" and "no moro" arc The mourn.
ful sisters, children Of sire whose ago they
never console.
"Tell your mistress have torn the cur.
tain," said gentleman to domestic ofa
lodging house. "very we'll, sir mistress
will put Il down rs rent"
The ffth edition Of heavy work being
announced, person expressed some surprise,
which was answered by ono In the secret -
at is the only way to sell the fst." IN
A clergyman being recently absent from
home. his son, Of ten ycars, was asked to
pronounce blessing. "No," he replied, ~
don't like the looks Of them taters!"
A real life must have worthy aim. Men
arc not made to float with whatever current
thcy chance to have been cast upon. Every
individual Is born with life.work before
him.
The editor OF Democratic paper In Cali
ifornla, acknowledges tho defeat OF his par
~ very briefly. lie says:-"wo met tho
enemy yesterday, and arc out on parole this
morning"
A philosopher on being aaked from whence
.ho received his first lesson in wisdom, re-
piled "From tho blind, who never take y
step uutil they havo folt tho ground before
them" NJ Il lsif
It is often very just and srisvous cause
of complaint that men SO completely exhaust
their industry In canvassing for Offices ~ TO
have mono left for the performance Of thsir
duties.
A French general, Count p, well
known in English circles, who had the mis-
fortune to bo bald.hosded, said that he wish.
cd to make a present to lady, and to give
her something rare. "Giys her Q lock Of
your hair" remarked Montroud.
Mrs. Fitzdragon had been waiting to visit
Oakwood Cemetery. and tho other day she said
to her husband, ''You have mover taken me
to the csmetory." No. dear, ,"said hs"that
Is a pleasure have yet bad only in sntici.
patton" t. ~ ..l.
A Danish writor speaks Of hut 90 miser.
able that il didn't know which way to fall,
and 90 kept standing. This is liko the man
that had such complication of diseases that
/, he did not know what to die Of, and ~ lived
on. tf - |it- .lrfa4fr l.
A woman boing asked what business her
husband followed, replied that he was eo-
gagged 10 finishing. Further explanation be-
ing considered necessary, after brief heal
tation she continued-'F Finishing his time
In Auburn Prison" 5.,t,s 4,
Muggins, seeing dead dog In ditch.
stopped, and after gazing iutently said to
his companion -" Another shipwrsck."
"where?" "There lies q bark that is Lost
forever" Ills companion growlod and nav.
igatcd on.
Some people, Il Is said. have an objection
to thirteen at dinner. DR.. Kisohnsr hsp-
pened to be ono Of company Of that num-
Der at DR.. Henderson's, and on its bsing 70.
marked and pronounced unlucky. he said.
III admit il Is unlucky In one case" "what
case Is that Doctor?' "where there is on.
ly dinner for twelve" g,-l ~, .-f.f
A tourist at French hotel saw tho phrase
-"Frisd water chicken, y on the bill Of faro.
Desiring to know what this meant. ho sent
for a dish Of water chicken. lie tried u.
and finding Il excellent, recommended Il 10
tho rest Of tho party, ladies and oil. All
liked tho dish wonderfully. and 20 became
frog eaters without knowing Il.
John Kemblo had tho honor Of giving the
Prince Of Wales. afterwards George tho
Fourth. some lessons IN elocutiou. Accord
ing to tho vitiatsd pronunciation Of thsday.
the prince. instead Of saying ..oblige,''
would say "oblocgc," upon which Kcmble.
with the utmost contempt depicted upon his
countcnancc, aid. "Sir, may fbcscech your
royal highnsss to open your jaws, and cay
"obligo!" ~ aF. s.s,4aflss ~ .s.tI ni
ARCH SCENE. One OF The funniest thisp
that evcr occurred or psrhaus sver will 90.