The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1864-05-18

ard other periodicals-lately threw up hi
commission, and sent back the unpaid &C
counts with notes." which the spirit hap
pened to lay hold on, and they were pre-
scented in tangible shape to the world
AS they are living pictures, met with here
and elsewhere, we make extracts. The
collector says:
To the Editor - Sir You furnished me
as recollect, with list of one hundred
and seventeen owing subscribers. have
called on one hundred and four of them
and have the honor of paying to your order
three dollars and twelve and one half cents,
being the amount to which you are entitled
return you the list numbered from one to
one hundred and sixteen, and now give the
reply to each:
No. lis minister. He says in the
first place he never got one-half the num-
bers, "a lie according to the account of the
postmaster and the next place your joker's
column was too scurrilous. Besides, he
knows by the tone of your editorials that
you drink. He wants nothing more to do
with Vou-never wants to hear from you
again.
No. 2-Is in Jail for debt. He has not
seen half dollar for year. Says he
would pay with the utmost cheerfulness if
he had the money, but had to borrow a
shirt to put on last Sunday. Admires your
paper wonderfully, and hopes you will con-
tinMe sending it tohim. He wishes you to
take bold stand in favor of the abolition
of Imprisonment for debt, as he thinks t
would be a very popular move with gen.
tlemen in his situation. SenGs lis best res
poets.
No. SIS q young Doctor Says your
paper is beneath the notice of gentleman.
Would not givea-fora cart load. SAYS
that you inserted an article rejecting upon
the profession. Only wishes he could catch
you here-would make you smell. Is
going to persuade everybody that takes
your paper to stop it. Cussed your bill,
and says you may get it the best way you
can. .-s..
No. Ais an old maid. Says you are
always taking fling at single ladies of an
uncertain age Wouldn't pay you if she
was rolling in wealth, and you hadn't
= enough to buy crustsof bread. Sent oil
the papers she had back month ago, and
says now she has sent them she don't owe
you anything Says she is even with you
and intends to keep so until the day of
judgment.
No. 5-Is gambler. Says he has got
completely cleaned out last week at the
races. Couldn't accommodate bis grand
mother with half dime if she was starv-
ing Likes your paper tolerably-would
like 1t better if you published more races,
and would occasionally give an account Of
cock fight. Hopes you wont think hard
of him for not paying you now, but las
prospect of soon having some loose change,
as he is after a rich young green horn, who
arrived here last week. Will pay your bill
out Of the pluckings.
No. S-fs drunkard. Hasn't got any.
tking, and never expects to have. Gather
ed up all the papers he had, and sold them
for half pint of rum to the grocery keep
err to wrap up groceries in.
No. Ills magistrate. Sworc he never
owed cent, and told me was low ras-
cal for trying to swindle him in such bare.
faced manner. Advised me to make tracks
in little less than no time, or he would
get out warrant against me, as a common
cheat, and have me sent to prison. Is by
all odds the meanc st man have seen yet.
Never will 60 near him again.
No. Sis policeman. Says that al
though you profess to publish neutral
paper, it is not so. Thinks he has seen
considerable squirting towards the side he
is opposed to.
The collector concludes with ''accept my
resignation, and strike me from the list of
agents. have heen called a swindler, ras-
cal, william, blcod-sucker. These are some
Of the names they think proper to bestow
upon me. tried fighting while, and
thrashed some of your patrons like blazes,
but occasionally got licked like thunder
myself"