Daily Davenport Democrat. [volume] (Davenport, Iowa) 1864-1874, 1864-11-15

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ia| Sssi6ve.l Is. S>luifed p(O0Rs I ssInk
sasd peoof eould ~ produced.
Exist. n lhs inexplicable cohesion q
eoal sna body through the agencies Of hard
bread and fat pork costitute living, live.
In the language Of divine youth who once
a1nIf No ! poetical blow with his cIenched
dicits. "rm little, but I'm all here. TolwAq
extent let me briefly explain: -
Far north have lived in peace happi
ness ana house fof which I have s!ways
Maid INV rent regularly. I settled up any
ACCOUNTS and settled down for life, resolved
that in future would 60 the whole hog
and be a great big man. ] got phrenolo.
cist to max a post ahorten cSemlnseion Of
nv head, ard h expressed hn telid that
lifI liyedlohg;cnough, Iwouid come 70 some
thing. Alas, How truchis magic words |!
Not Originally I've come to it already !;
I'm in it all over; have grown to such g.
psntic proportions tint the city Of Chicago
Is not large enough to contain me and am
reduced 10 the necessity Of passing leisure
hours (Which are too numerous to mention)
In an apartment cigt by ten, at Camp Doug
las" a sfaeFs J-4
had been passing pleasant evening at
home on the eve Of election. The partner
ofjoys and two thirds proprietor Of all my
sorrows had been amusing herself BY sing
ing an entirely new song entitled "Angels
now arc on the wing" which song enjoy
cd excessively. Our little dog chimcd in
occasionally. And ! remember that my
better half remarked, by way Of joke may
be. that his bark was on the G. and was
Just beginning to laugh heartily when there
came vigorous knock at my front door.
opened, and low there stood q posse
corruption Of the word possum) of soldiers.
| was thunderfounded- completely dumb
strucki gaxed moment at the full figure
Of the leader, who wore sword and pistol
by his side, ana owned a Inustach that was
jus. large enough to keep his teeth from
being sunburnt, and remarked in clear,
distinct voice:
''iiem:''
The tall officer addressed the tenderly
thus:
'.Sir, your name ~
ut matters not" saidI; "What's in a
anne! That which we call an onion would
smell, &C."
To which the tail officer replied as follows,
his voice rising several octcyes:
Sir, you ere wanted
'Sir, think | am,' replied exctediv,
smelling gunpowdcr, and with that | fed.
think reached the back door Of my dwell
ing about as quick as ever accomplished
feat of the same length and breadth before
in my life. I sped like an arrow, SO to
speak, and had a narrow escape from being
torn in two as my legs could hardly run as
fast as my body. Did ! say | RAM Nay,
More. On the wings Of love and charity
gained the back door in hurry and arrived
there just in time to tumble into the arms
Of half-a dozen muscular soldiers.
1--WE knew you," said ono of them, "Bcan
Hackett, you are conspiracy; you know
you are, and with that remark he put
one my OF hands in the other, as though he
wanted to introduce me to myself, and for
the purpose Of keeping me on good terms
with myself, he ted them together with
what they call in Wisconsin rope. "You
are conspiracy" reiterated soldier.
lyon are PLOTTING against the government,
you are bad man."
Fright, my boy" was the reply, an bet
my bottom dollar. will admit that you
know what you are talking about, which is
admitting that you know more than l do.
I'm Old Conspiracy himself, though, you
may stake your soap on that"
"You have arms in your possession"
Eyes, ] have couple, but they arc not
Of much account just now"
Then search began. My house, which
is one story high, was ransacked from gar
ret to cellar. A bottle Of old Bourbon was
found concealed or a mantlc-piecc, and was
at once pronounced deadly weapon. 1t
was rendered harmless, however, in very
few moments. l saw with fearful eyes the
last drop Of the contents Of that terrible in
strument sail down the threats of my un-
feeling captors. The effect was terrible;
in ten minutes the whole party began to
quarrel abo.t who should have the honor of
making the arrest. They seemed to think
they had captured q multitude Of men, and
q detective, whose head was in condition
to multiply rapidly, asked me how many
there were Of me.
according to actual COUNT said !,
there Is one Of me-"
Detective became indignant because of
the diminutivcness Of his booty, and told
the other fellows they might have all the
credit he didn't want cents worth.
The procession moved. In solemn and
or, rather, rail.fcnce fashion, we
wendell our way to camp. Old Bourbon is
famous for making crooked marches. About
the most difficult thing in the world to ac-
complish is to march dcccntly with pint of
whisky that has man outside Of it who in
sists upon clinging to your arm as if it were
jug handle. It's something can't tolcr-
ate. II there is one thing in the world
ietest, it's more than another.
But we arrived here, and here | am.
pinirg away in the White Oak prison.
q. B.-confidential .joke-Why does
man pine when he is in prison made Of
white oak 1? Don't publish this il yo,ld
The President wild have me executed for
calousy's sakc.l Tho fare upon which I
I'm compelled to subsist is hardly as good
Is am used to. but is great deal harder.
have large circle Of acquainta. ices in the
'orm Of small black insects, some Of which
met years ago in the South. They have
almost grown out Of my recollection, but
they have forcibIe manner Of refreshing
my memory. Il win Be cruel for me to