The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1864-01-28
HOW "AEgTEEgUs" WAS SERE
NADEz2.

AS several of our public men are be-
ing constantly surprised by serenades,
l concluded I'd be surprised in the
same way, so I made arrangements &C
cordin'. l asked the Brass Band how
much they'd take to take me entirely
by surprise with a serenade. They
said they would overwhelm me with
unexpected honor for seven dollars,
which | excepted.
l wrote out my impromptoo speech
several days beforehand, bein' very
CAREFUL to expunge all ingrGmmatti-
cisms, and paying particular attention
to the punctuation. 1t was, | may
say without egotisn, a manly effort,
Alass [ never delivered It, as the Sc
kill will show.
l passed up and down the kitchin'
speaking my piece over 50 as to be per-
feck. My blooming young dawter,
Sarer Ann, bothered me summit by
singing ''Why do the Summer Roses
fade p
Because" said I, arter hearing her
sing it about fourteen times, because
it's their biz! !" Let 'em fade"
''Betsey," said l, pausin' in the
middle of the room, and lettin' my ca
gle eye wander from the manuscript,
''Betsey, on the night of this here ser
enade l desire you to appear at the
winder dressed in white, and wave a
lilly white handkerchief. Dye hear?"
eff | appear" said that remarkable
female, 81 shall wave lilly white
bucket of bilin' water, and somebody
will be scalded. One bald headed old
fool will git his shar.'
She referred to her husband No
doubt about it in my mind. But for
fe ar she might exasperate me 1 sed
nothin'.
The expected night cum. At 8 o.
clock precisely there was sounds of
footsteps in the yard, and the band
struck up lively air, which when they
did finish it there was cries of ssWard,
Ward - [ stepped out into the por-
tico.
A brief glance showed me that the
assemblage was summit mixed. There
was geeat many ragged boys, and
there was quite a number Of grown up
persons evidently under the influence
OF the Intoxicating bole. The band
was also drunk DIR. Schwazey, who
was holdin' up post seemed to be
particularly drunk-so much so that
it had got into his spectacles, which
were staggarin wildly over his nose.
But was in for it, and I commenced:
''Feller citizens: For this unexpect-
ed honor"
Leader of the Band: "Wil you
give us ourmoney now, or wait till you
get through2' p
To this painful and disgustin inter
ruption paid no attention.
''Eor this unexpected honor [ thank
you
Leader of the Band:-sBut vouI
said you would give US seven dollars
if we would play two choons."
Again | didn't notice him, but re-
sumed as follows:
81 say 1 thank you warmly. When
I look at this crowd Of -- Amer
leans my heart swells-"
DR.. Schwazey-"So do l."
A yoice-''We all do y
my heart swells-'
A voice-''Three cheers for the
swells."
eve i've" said in troublous.
times, but ! hope te hall soon agai..
resume our former position. an 20 on
III a glorious career.
DR.. Schwazey-''I'nw ilIin, for one
to go in glorious career. VIII YOU
join glorious career :? What wages does
a man get for glorious career, when
finds himself2''
''Dr. Schwazey," said I, sternly,
you are drunk. You are disturbing
the meetin'.'
DR.. Schwazey-''Have you a ban
quet IN the house? I should like al