The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1864-12-02
How to Make Friends U,
Portable.

Inc same utterance may be an inper-
thence, an unpalatable truth, or disa-
greeable thing, according to time and cir.
cumstance. For example in a fit of
absence, you perpetrate some solecism in
dress or behavior 1t is an unwelcome
truth to be told it, while there is vet OBJ
portunity for remedy, or partial remedy.
1t is an impertinence to be informed of It
by stranger, who has no right to concern
himself with your affairs; it is Disagree
able thing when-the occasion pastSour
friend enlightens us about it, simply as g
piece of information. We all of us no
doubt, have friends, relations and ac-
quaintences who think it quite sufficient
reason for saying thing, that it is true.
Probably we have ourselves known the
state of mind in which we find 8 certain
fact or opinion burden, a load to be got
rid of; and under the gross mistake that
all truth must be spoken, that it is un-
candld and dangerous not to deliver q
testimony-convinced that the truth, like
murder, will out, and that our friend.
sooner or later, must learn the unaccepta-
BILE tact-we come to the conclusion that
it is best for all parties to get the thing
over, by being ourselves the executioner.
We have most of US acted the enfant terri.
bic al some time or other. But this crude
simplicity of candor, where it is the re-
suit of the mere blind intrusive assertion
of truth, is real weight; and the pri-
mary law OF politeness, never to give un-
necessary pain, as soon as it is appre-
hended, is welcomed as de!iverer.
av,I
experience enough for any but the most
limited sympathy, and can only partially
compare the opinions of others with their
own. Indeed, the idea of the comparison
does not occur to them. But there are
people who, in this respect, remain ohil-
dren all their days, and very awkward
children, too, who burst with fact as the
tool with his secret, and, like the hair
dresser in Leechs caricature, are impelled
to tell US that our hair is thin at the ton.
though nothing is to come of the commu-
nication. These, as Sidney Smith saws.
turn friendships into a system of lawful
and unpunishable impertinence, from. SO
TAR as we can learn, no worse cause than
lncontinence of fact and opinon-feeling
it to be sufficient and triumphant de-
fence of every preparation of the sort,
that it is true. "Why did you tell Mr..
So-and-so that his sermon was fifty min
utes long?" "Because I had looked at INV
watch" Why dill you remind such a
one that he is growing fat and old?" sBe-
cause he Is" "Why repeat that unfavor-
able criticism?" 81 had just read it. ssWhy
dlsparage this mans particular friends ?"
81 don't like them" "Why say to that
young lady that her dress is unbecomine?n
II really thought So" It is, however.
noticeable in persons of this obtrusive can.
DOR, that they have eyes for blemishes
only. They are never impelled to tell
pleasant truths, from which, no doubt, we
may infer a certain acebrity of temper.
though these structures may be spoken in
seeming blunt, honest good humor. Still
they talk in this way from natural obtuse.
ness and inherent defect of sympathy.-
Essays on Social Subjects.