The Goodhue volunteer., 1864-01-27
HOW JIM BLANDER SALTED AND
PlCKELED THE QUAKER FRIEND.
~
A STORY FOR OUR OWN TIMES.

s.
There lived in certain neighborhood not
far distant from here, FOSTERING, rowdy
bully, Jim Blander. Jim was 'some" ina
fight, kind Of pugilistic Napoleon. ".any
and bloody were the affairs he had in his
lifetime, and had invariably come off best
jim not only considered himself invuinera.
BILE, bu. all the fighting characters in the
surrounding country conceded it was no use
in fighting Jim, as be was considered to be
a patent threshing machine, that could not
be improved on. In Jims neighborhood
had settle quite a number ofQuakcrs. From
some cause or other, Jim hated ''sl,ad bel.
ies,' as he called them, with his entire
heart and he often declared that to whip
one OF those inoffensive people would be the
drowning glory Of his life. For years Jim
waited for pretext. One Of Jim's chums
overheard young Quaker speak in dis
paraSlng terms of him. The report soon
came to Jim's ears and not tie matini
tied. Jim made desperate threats of what
nc was going to do with Nathan, the meek
follower of Penn, on 81 h.; besides various
bruises and contusions he meant to ntlict
on Nathans body, in his chaste language he
meant to ;gcuge out" both his eyes, and
''chaw off, both his ears.
Nathan heard Jims threats, and very
properly kept out of his way, hoping thai
time would modify him Jim's anger. Il
seems however that much to be desired re
suit did not take place. One day !rien
Nathan was out riding, and in passing
through long lane, when about midway
ne espled Jim ertering the other end. Ma
than might have TUNED and fled, but hi,
flesh rcbeIled at this proceeding. will
pursut my way peaceatly, said the Quaker
and hope the better sense of the man Q
wrath will not permit him to molest me. OF
allow him to do violence to my person.
Nathans calculations as TO tie lamb lik,
qualities OF his adversary were doomed t,
be disappointed,
On ho, thought bully, as he recognized
Nathan, lave him at last. Now ii n.ak<
mince meat OF shaI belly. l Will sal, end
pickle him to.
Wilt t. Gu please dismount fom thy
horSe seizinS The bride Of Nalhan's horse
and ln:micking his styIe my soul yearn
eth above all things to give thee the biggcs,
mau.'nG ever .an received.
Friend James, replied Nathan, :lou mus,
not molest me, tut let me 60 on my way ir
peace. Thy better jud cement will surely
tell the that thou canst not possibly be ben
Gifted by personally in;uring me.
Get down in a moment thuudcred jim
get down, You canting, lying, mischief max
ing, cowardy hypoc:itc! III drag you
down il YOU don't dl>mount.
Friend James demonstrate against thy
proceedings and against thy Language, re-
piled Nathan. My religion teaches me
sincerity l am neither a lara mischie
maker nor hypocritc am not a co ward
but map of peace desire to pursue my
way quietly, let me pass on.
Get down persisted jim, down with you
l want to beat sor2e Of your religion out 0
you; / must give you a fiogging before
leave yon. think by the time I'm through
with you, you'll pass for tolerab'e decent
man III teach you short and easy lesson
on the importance OF minding your owr
business, and the risk you run in slanderinf
lyoar own neighboIs.
will not dis1uount, said Nathan firml,
loosen thy hold from the bride.
You won't. won't you ? said Jim,> ther
/ here goes, aud he made desperate plune,
TO collar the Quaker.
Nathan was on his feet in an instant. O,
the opposite side Of the horse. The Quake
!. though of much smaller proportions tha,
his prosecutor, was all sinew and muscle
land his we'll knit form denoted both activi
Ity and strength. His wrath was evidently
kindled.
| Friend james. he implored, thy persina
Ic'ous persistence in prosecuting me is An
"oy'ng; thou must desist, or pesadyen,ur,
/ may so forge. myself as TO do thee som,
bodily harm
| BY snakes, said jim, coming toward Ma
than. I believe there is fight enough il
Broadbr'm to make the affair interesting
/ wish some Of the boys were here to see
the fun Now friend Nathan, I'm goin,
to knock cff the end of your nose Iooi
Iout.
| sais'ng the action to the word, Jim, II
ter VARIOUS pugiIis,ic gyr,tiors with hi
fists, made scientific blow 81 the nasal ior
|mas'on on cur Qaaker friend, but Tom IIy
lee could not more scientifically hare ward
!. Jed it OF
Jim was asernIenslr dssconcerted & the il