The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-01

of the complete wreck of the whole train
and the sad fate of the excursionists.-
There are but slight fragments of the
more distinguished persons that are re
coguizable. Ben Wood is missing alto
gether, except his 4-ll-44 badge. Fer
nando was recognized by a copy of the
statute of limitations in his trousers pock.
ct; Horatio Seymour and Vallandig CHAM
were found locked fast in each others
arms and crushed under the weight of
certain "dry goods boxes" that contained
bogus soldiers votes; Governor Parker
was badly bruised and lost his eye sight,
so that he "can't see it" any more; Pen
dleton was pitched headlong into a nasty
ditch filled with secession mud, which
choked him, and as for the engineer, he
was blown much higher than Gilderoy's
kite and was so minutel y pulverized that
there is no occular proof that any such
man ever existed. The funeral of these
e1cursionists will very soon, be attended
in Richmond, Va, by JEFF. Davis and all
his cabinet, and it is currently reported
that U. S. Grant may attend, not, hower-
er, as mourner. There will be no more
trains run on this road, as the company
being made bankrupt by this calamity
will Immediately wind up its affairs
The Union line is, however, in good run
ming order.
POSTSCRIPT.
The following Postscript was added by
the Times some two or three days after
the above was published:
Since our first report few additional
facts Of interest have come to light. Up
on clearing away the wreck little, clue
car marked New Jersey was found par
tally standing, but the south end of it
was knocked into "smithereens. Jim
Wall, when taken from under the plat /
fom, badly injured, but his tongue still
running, was heard to mutter that this
was "a ID sight worse than arbitrary
arrest" Jack Rogers, who got out alive,
though little damaged, was frantically-
inquiring if Dan Holsman or any other
friend had saved his silver quarter Of
dollar for him! Friend Middleton was
past all help, though DR.. Newell kindly
offered his services, but George feebly |
gasped out that he chad enough of that!'
Every Jerseyman in the South end of the
car had gone crazy from the effect of the
coucussion and rared about stars.
A lot Of Gov. Seymour's "friends" from
New York, who had got into the Jersey
car, succeeded in pulling Gen. Wright
out with comparative little injury. A
survey of the wreck of this car shows the
utter impossibility of its ever being re-
paired or run again, and the fragments,
together with couple of ricketty old
platform cars labeled Delaware and Ken
lucky, which were not much damaged,
are all that can be saved. They are to
be given to Jim Brooks, who is expected
to open political junk shop where he
will sell Know Nothing relics, Mcclellan
Badges, fragments OF the platform, and
such odds and ends for the benefit of the
few survivors. Hor2tio Seymour fingered
in very painful agony until last night,
and though all the drugs in the World
were crammed into him in the hope of
saving his life, it was of 20 use.
Artemus Ward announced that he will
write "a troothful akount ov Seymours
life and his ontimely and stri-
king eend, " for his next show and thinks
it will ''dror ike yoke of steers We
cannot close this brief report witout sta
ting that it is said that wnen that unfeel-
lug old gorilla, "Old Abe,' read our re
ports 10 '" ednesday's paper, he said it re-
m.uled him of little joke, but when
himself reminded that the funeral wasn't |
over yet, he said he guessed he wouldn't
tell it till the 4th Of March next, which
was likely to be an imposing occasion.