Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1864-03-02
Medding.

Minnesota Wedding.
In the semi-rural district of Winona,
on the Minnesota side of the Missis-
sippi River, lives a jolly fellow of a
justice of the peace, whose ideas OF
matters are very much like the cur
rent of the deep river once started in
any direction il is hard TO turn them.
One day lately, after the 10 by IL law
dispensary had been swept, the chairs
set in a short row against the side of
the Office, and several whipped guilds
of tobacco and mutilated cigar stubs
had been kicked under the stove,
there was a wooden step on the stairs,
and a vigorous knock at the door.
"Come in" said the justice, rs he
settled into the legal look BETTING a
of law, duly elected to dispense the
favors of the blind goddess.
A stout woman entered. She had
On a short wooden dress, wooden-soled
shoes, spotted red checks, black hair,
and eyes that snapped ike the lock OF
. shot gun. With a Portuguese ac-
cent, and in the worst possible Eng
lish, she said:
fc14aw mani"
want paper Want paper 10 take
man."
Just then a stout French half-breed
entered the room. He was unable to
speak a halfdozen words of English,
and looked either scared or bashful.
The judge saw at once that there was
a marriage TO come of, and said to
the woman, who stood with COM
pressed lips watching the justice and
the door:
"Want paper to take this manl'
eyes, want paper. Me teach him"
Mice woman, thought the Justice.
He no good man. Me take him SO
quick as can"
"All right my covies-fx you in
the jerk of a lambs tall" he NUT
tered, as he turned to the man and
said:
lyon know this woman-can you
take herr"
The man shook his head and ut
tered unintelligible words.
"Ah see. Can't talk English
Never mind"
He ran into the street, and invited
a few friends up stairs, and on return
ing with them, said to the woman:
"You want to take this man for bet
ter or for worse?"
"Yes,, me want to take him. Me-
pay"
aAll right" Then turning to the
mar who stood trembling:
"You take this woman for better or
for worse, and promise to keep her"
etc.
Umph," and several mods of the
HThen, in the name of the law, and
by virtue of the authority in me vest
ed, l pronounce you man and wife,"
and he stepped before the woman
could say 8 word and kissed her red
lips.
Slap came her hand in his face, az
she clutched his hair. The new hus
band jumped in 10 take the woman
away, to protect her as the Justice
supposed, when in self-preservation,
ne hit him q rap on the nose. The
woman pitched into the husband, :
who in turf pitched into her; and for
bout five minutes there was a gene a
al hustiipg.
AT last the parties was separated.
when the 2 and woman took anoth-
r turn at each other, and the blood
nd hair few in all directions. Down !
rent the stove, over went the table, !
went the chairs aud into the p
like a mailman, went the JUS t
ice with black eye, and the bosom
f his shirt looking like a warranty
eed covered with red seals.
A crowd rushed up stairs, and found
Ie man and woman on the floor hug I
ing each other like young bruins, :.
i'd their arms and legs mixed mp
orse than tomato vines.
The newly-married couple were
parated, when. through the aid of \
% interpreters, it was discovered y
lat the night before, the parties, oc- b
lpying adjoining shanties in the low We
part of the town, had got in a
larrel over a stove pipe; which was
by both, and from words they
me to blows. Each party hurried u
the Justices Office In the morning. j.
r a warrant for the other. and the
suit had been that our Justice had s.
them together as man and
Ite: Perhaps The punishment was
but the b~eligerents couldn't
it, and went in search of another
slice to unnarry them, while the
neral cause of.their terrible squab- t IN s
, was bathing his bunged eye in pu E
and whisky. u