The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1864-03-18
OUR WASHINGTON LETTER.
From Our Regular correspondent.

WILKS MILITARY CAREER-0hEAI y"
GENERALS AND GUNBOATS-CARTBR IN
VENTS A HOLE WITHOUT CAVITY
MRS SWIsSHELM TO SUPERCEDE GEN
GILLMORE-UNCLE CYRUS AND HIS
GEEsE-RAMSEY PLAYS PRACTICAL
.JOKE-MURRAY ON NATIONAL POLITICS
AND THE DISTRICT JUDGESHIP OF RAM
SEy cOUNTY-OLD ABES STORY OF THE
DUTcHMAN SHOOTING RABBITS, ETC.
WASHINGTON, March A. 1864.
To the Editor of the Pioneer:
should have written you sooner, but have
been laboring under bad cold which caught
by going up in q balloon with WlLK to recon.
noitre the Army of the Potomac. He has un-
dertaken this task of observation at the earnest
request and entreaty of Gov ANDREW of Mas
sachusetts and Senator FEssENDEN of Maine
who say that undoubtedly WILK.'s influence
umphs Of the Western armies, and they now
insist that he shall save Washington and the
Army of the Potomac by watching out that
none of its Generals hide any more in gunboats.
WnK. has associated with himself in the
military business that wonderful genius JOSH
to escape the enemy's bullets, and they are
both busily engaged all their time not devoted
in giving advice to the Government, in con-
irving the model for gunboat which shall
have no hole for Major General to crawl into
CARTER tells Secretary WELLEs that this can
be done easily enough by making the hold of
the vessel so that it shall not be hollow, which
plan is very highly esteemed here in all naval
circles. The President rendered WILK the
Lieutenant-Generalship, but he modestly de-
clined the office, preferring to remain in ac-
tive duty in the field. So he and CARTER as
cend every morning to look out for gunboats
and get back by lunch time in season to report
at headquarters at the bar-room Of Wizards
Hotel
Of course YOU have learned by the telegraph
that the President, STANTON and HALLECK
have compromised the Florida disaster by
agreeing to send Mrs. JANE G. SwIssHELM
down to supersede Gen. GILMORE. For the
sake of harmony in the campaign she insists
on having ]. j. KNOX take Admiral DAHL
GREENS position. OF course i; is understood
that he is to rank as one of the Rear Admirals.
regret to say the DoNNELLY and ALDRICH
difficultyfor some time past has ragged more fear
fully than ever. Uncle CYRUS to use his own
language exerted his most strenuous efforts :"
to GUST his competitor from his seat in Con-
grass. IGNATIUs to appcase his opponent gaths
cred up ali the statistics on saskatchewan, the
Sandwich Islands and several other countrie
besides Schleswig Holstein. and after making
a great speech on immigration got the Presi-
dent to agree to appoint CYRUS to the Office
ofImmiyration Agent among the Schleswigers.
But Uncle CYRUS soon learned that they have
nothing to drink there but Lager Beer and
showed that he was too old bird to be
caught with such chat. He told them plainly
that he was used to bourbon whisky, and to
being member of Congress, and that he was
not going to put up with any 'zwei glas lager
and Schleswig appointments. Thus things
stood until the other day. when he applied, but
failed to draw the pay and mileage of the mem.
Der from the Second Minnesota District.
This for the first time seemed to dampen the
courage of our friend from Minneapolis. Our
kind hearted President, however, not liking
in the cold. and there being no openings at
present for any more Major Generals, has gen.
erously placed my friend ALDRICH in charge
OF the flock of geese in the grounds of the Pres
dcntial Mansion, which Uncle ABE brought
with him from Illinois. because he in some
way or other believes these web-footed aquatcs
are emblamatic of the naval power of the coun-
try; and it is beautiful sight to see with
what fatherly and benevolent circumspection
Uncle Cyrus marshals his little army of patri-
o.ic birds. He says geese saved Rome once,
and they may yet do the same for Washington !.
RAMSEY perpetrated good joke on the Senate
by trying to get through the Superior Rail-
road Land Grant Bill. But the most amuse-
ment we have is in regard to the next Presi-
dency The great question now is. What shall
we do with Little MAC" and CHASE. MUIR
RAY mixes into this matter pretty generally
and he seems to handle national politics as
easily as if they were the minor matters OF the
Second Ward of St. Paul.
The other day he was up at the Presidents
house cracking jokes and eating peanuts with
Uncle ABE. where the question about what to
do with CHASE came up. . well, said MUIR
RAY, putting his feet upon the mantleshelf,
"well YOU see, AEE my plan of getting rid OF
a rival is to coax him to change politics.
done that lately out in St. Paul. want to
run for District Judge out there next fall, but
there was an Ex-Governor there who wanted
to run for the same Office and l was afraid
he'd get the nomination: so / told him the
Democratic party was gone up and sure enough
ne bit and topped over and now I've got the
track all clear"
This seemed to cheer up the President very
much and he said that the idea of politician
being caught in such trap reminded him OF
little story of how an old Dutchman got caught
in shooting rabbits, down in Illinois "Weli
you see, BILL the old Dutchman went out one
morning and saw half dozen rabbits around
his haystack, but he hadn't anything to shoo
EN- with but an old single barreled shot gun
and nothing to load it with but some powder
and ball. But here was trouble again, since nc
couldn't kill only one rabbit with ball, ane
'hen the rest would run away; so brigh
Thought struck him, and he bent his gun bar
TEL 10 ABOUT the curve of the haystack. AL