The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1864-01-08

lngton, never make IT without gathering
material for reelection and amusement.
The course is to SECURE q fuH loweY berth,
abent thirty minutes before the rush be-
gins, and from your roost, you can unob.
served, Ihear much and see many odd
sights. The conductor is perplexed per-
sonage. He is questioned, seolded and
importuned BY turna he must explain,
apologize and expostulata. In this melee
II Is marvellous how he preserves his tenn
per- g Mr., Conductor, . says breathless
passenger who has just got in by, the New
York train, give me sleeping place p''
Have you ticket, sir?" Yes, have
my through ticket" Sorry sir, but You
must have sleeping ticket. You can get
it in the Office at the station house; but
you must hurry, or you will lose your
chance And away goes the passenger
with. about ten chances to one of being
too late. "Ihave taken places for two, !"
says q soft spoken, handsome young fell
low, with blushing woman on his arm.
:. Yes, sir" says the polite master of
ceremonies, the lady can sleep below,
and you in the upper BERTH" "But she
is my wife-and cannot sleep alone or
with anybody but me-" Sorry, sir, but
our rules are absolute-I can put another
lady with her." "But she is my wife, /
tell you, I" indignantly responds the gentle
man. 81 do not doubt you, but ] do not
know it, and to avoid trouble, we make
an absolute rule to keep the ladies and
gentlemen separate And there h no
remedy but to submit, or throw up their
tickets and take another car. Frequently
q family enters-father, mother, nurse
and baby. The same struggle ensues on
the temporary divorce of husband and
wife; but the dispute is more readily re-
conciled, and the parties pile in"
After while the matrOn gently asks:
care you comfortable, Augustus, dear2"
Perfectly" is the smothered reply
from the upper tier.
Do cover up your throat, dearest !;
you know you are not well Are your
feet warm?'
"All right, gaps the husband, like a
man on the top of hayloft. "Jane.
what is the matter with the baby? Can't
you keep him quiet .
Bless me, he is choking. Hand him
over TO me-" e
Then | hear squalling package passed
over to the kind mother, who soon soothes
1t to rest = ~ - ea 4
g Enter a fat man, weighing about 800
pounds averdupois.
. n" Conductor, where's my BERTH"
5l" You have. but one ticket, and win
please get in alongside of this gentleman. -
The gentleman alluded to happens to be
a delicate dandy, who is Immediately
above me, on the second shelf, and who
+ rained Down on me a shower of mingled
perfume. The heavy passenger, after a
: severe struggle. succeeds in getting into
his berth. While he is getting up l see a
huge pair of legs dangling before my face
ike twin anacondas, and presently l hear
series OF angry growls and grunts; and
when the mass settles on wicker bed, it
shakes the whole vicinity, and leaves me
in doubt whether it will hang suspended
or fall and crush me.
: "GOd bless me, sir, :" says the exquisite,
=" you are very large man; you have
pinned me to the WALT shall suffocate. -
"Oan't help it, sir. / paid for my
ticket and intend to get my money 5
worth. @ 893s
q Imagine the fat gentleman snoring and
sweating, and the misery of the nice young
man. K9f- aa o. ]@ 5-
Some of the inexperienced travellers
nnboot and uncoat themselves, which is
always a mistake. Bundle in as Won
. are, J" is the theory of sleeping car
last we are disposed Of The whistle
sounds; the engine shrieks; the bell tolls !;
I, the great train plunges into the outer
E darkness "a voice opposite exclaims
"Great Heavens, how hot it is herel-
Conductor, there is no air; open the
dOOr!"
e4s'' ]. object, shouts consumptixe Con-
gresham s l am not well, and / don't
mean 20 contract another cold" Qua
Another voice: gii So. 3t.ri ays -
:, "Charley, pass me that flask. "ra.
And then heard a gurgling sound, and
presently | perceived an aroma of Cognac,
. which excites two persons of various
opinions a little in the advance.
sf,l g Stranger, said the first, sspass me
/, your flask, and / will return the compli-
ment when we reach Wizards" Which
/ car hear is being promptly done.
ass Wnab ulSSTdco III IL says the pro.
testing temperance man, " that this place
shout be turned into GROCERY"
"By Jewel" cries out the owner of the
flask, "here is Cough, the great lecturer!
Have smile, my eloquent friend?" At
which there is general laugh, and the
consequent subsistence of the heroic oppo-
nent OF Bacchus.
Before the sleepless finally adjust their
hard pillows, gather up their scanty COW
ering. and ascertain whether their bedfel-
lows, if they have any, are friends or foes,
some rich soliloquies and dialogues take
place among those who have not accus-
toned themselves to this method of trans
portation
81 say, CONDUCTOR" exclaims victim
Who is buried in an enormous military
cloak, and bound and rivetted together
With brass buttons, bands and lace, 81
saw this is worse than sleeping on the cold
ground. :, IS
ssNeighbor,' gasps a politician, evil
IDENTIFY on the way back for an Office, sup
=. h<rl1 rv,u off tho froob hou