The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1864-09-17

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MY auuCipatiOns as to mischief were not disap.
pointed, for m two or three days tho following
order was left at our headquarters
"HNT.N o No. 20 The MAJOR comm andinc The Sc,
ono Cl-d.h.gr AlmuaIrAIuu battalion viii inspect A
G,.k r II a1'A 81 on Monday next, sharp time.
matching order. '
On reading tbs missivc, an my sins Of omission
stared me iu the face, and ttlt that my companv
was not at all IN the condition to satisfy mari-
net 10 was true that their muskets were clean
and 10 good order but the men were not set nm
and marched with peculiar shumblc oil which
10 is impossible tD break men accustomed tl the
sea. However, put my rust in Providence, and
induced about hall the company to promise, q, q
personal favor, that they would appear on The
IsrudC-gruund. Precisely ut the appointed
mOmvut tho Major came riding up, and WAS so
et,naturally stlil, that thought his rst order
would Dee "swgl uw rlmrol-.' This sttIucss of
hi, rendered the .uO,crc,s of my fellows uIl the
moro conspicuous. lie spent some time with tho
men, and performed some mlnu'ugras of yhi.h
they had hthcrt5 been hIesscdy ignorant Al
length Dc tuTICu Co. me.
"Grca, GOD sir this Is even worse than had
tDOrCC. ] was aware that discipline was ,rr, las
in your company, but ! was NOT atal Drcpar,d
for this. just look nt q. man, siri"
Ana Dc pointed with finger that trerIn'nJ
with passion, at AN unfortunate fellow who. for
The sake OF ease, had lett the bottom button of
ms tunlc un'a>tenud. lHTopgIgd, and ,aid that
the men would produce "A more favorable impress
SION IL seen At rife practice; but that set the
Don't tilh to me, sir, about rifle practice. he
spluuCrtdi "it | bad my way, not "a volunteer
should fire shot for the first twelve mon,l.."
meeky suggested that it such law were Ell.
forced there would be very few volunteers; but
Major MuuutChCsnCy would not listen TO mr and
rode on in high dudgDOu, TO send in q heightened
report about The mItliciUuCy OF my company |
could do nothing, for he was right from his point
of yieW-grd so, perhaps, was / from mfup
Where We differed was that he wanted to treat
every aimed man as q true soldier, while Thought
it sufficient 10 teach him the use Of his weapop
how % work together, and obey the word of com
mand. But then had had to do with irreEuars
in India
have no space to describe all the annoyapccs
which the Major brought dOWa on my devoted
head, and my fellows would have resigned half
q dozen times, had not urged them 20 refrain
out of consideration for me. Still, | more and
more felt HAT PcntgutC was not large enough 10
hold the Major and myself, and that one OF us
must give way. At this crisis | obtained an un-
expected and valuable ally. My cousin, jack
larcy-oi mine, of ours, OF everything and every
body, the darling Of the whole army-who had
gained his V. G. by a deed of uueNimpled
bravery, even among that body of brave
men, took it into his head to get married
He consequently sold out of the pluugers of
which regiment he was lcutenaut-coloneI and
was now in town to have his last fling before set
Ting down TO the matrimonial curb. 10 him
applied in my sore strait, and the next train
brought him to Pentgate.
"1he Old humbugl" he said, after listening TO
my grievances; "lil pill him. / suppose the feel
ing against him is pretty general, ELI How many
companies have you here 2"
every general. Two" was nv lacouic repIv
"Weli, do you get the officers togcthcr-Iuictly
mind-and Wen talk the matter over"
The same night the COnspratOrs assembled at
my quarters, and we discussed the matter. At
length Darcy said -
Look here, gentlemen; / see the way to bowl
out Major Marlinet but, before l undertake il,
you must pledge me your word not TO remon-
strate, however extraordinary my conduct may
appear to you, and TO keep IL dark"
This was enthusiastically promised, and Darcy
set to work. In the course of day or two
rumor was ailOat that the officers of the r. F. r.
N.intended to present their commandaut with q
testimonial, as token of their esteem A visit
which Darcy and myself paid To the silyersmith
of the country town, and an inquiry after pat
terms of epcTgneS, seemed to confirm the report
and paragraph about the testimonial sliopcd
into the lOca papers. This had a marked effect
on the Major, and at the next parade he deigned
TO compliment me on the decided Improvement in
my company. The report was converted into
certainty when Major MOuntchesney received a
letter in the name OF the officers of the II, F. r.
", inviting him to dinner.
None were more puzzled than the officers when
they heard OF this for they had not the slightest
wish to pay for dinner for their gallant but dis
agreeable commander. Moreover, they had not
been called upon TO contribute to the testimonial
which II was tOwn-tall would be presented on the
occasion. However, they had promised to hold
their tongues, and cOnsOed themselves with the
thought that time would clear up this as well as
other "unrCyeaCd mysteries"
There is story floating about mess-rOoms,
that on the occasion of a regimenul presentation,
the Meior pushed the testimonial across the table
to the Colonel, who was the recipient, saying,
Colonel, that's the mug" "Oh," the Colonel
replied, This is the jug, is il Z" And so the mat
ter ended to their mutual relief But the Il. p.
II. V. were not going to hide their candle under
a bushel in this way, and the ceremony was as
uVa nd ag sall Ln ma 10 ntttb
The chair was occupied by Colonel Darcy, as
spokesman for the officers, whose feelings over
powered them The hOnOrcd guest OF the eve
ming was on his right, and before them was the
testimonial, still covered with green baiZe, but
evidently valuable.
After the usual patriotic toasts, Darcy proposed
TO make the speech of the evening. He alluded
in the most affecting terms to the urbanity which
the Major bad constantly displayed, anl 20 the
skill he had shown In gaining the good wishes of
all with whom he came in contact. Then he
passed to the testimonial, which, humble though
II was, would, he felt assured, be treasured by the
Major as an heirloom. Then deXterously whisll-
ing away the green baize with one hand, no
raised his glass with the other, and badc us drink
the health of our Major.
Tho cheers which greeted this speech had
scarcely died away ere we saw the Major turn
black in the face as if he were going into an aoO-
glasses, he gurgled out, " Great God you shall
hear from me about this" )" and rushed from the
room, leaving the testimonial behind him. A
glance at the piece of plate however explained
TO us the motive of his flight; it was really and
truly piece OF delft plate, with its jagged edges
lying, as IL in mockeTy, on a blue velvet cushion
The trick was scandalous, confess, but VIC could
not refrain from peals OF laughter, such as the
assembly rooms had never before heard. Even
if the poor Major could have held his ground in
Pengate, which wOuld have been difficult, nc cut
il away from under him by his own foolish
conduct.
At six O'Clock the next morning the Pentgate
IntekhgeHccr appeared with flaming account of
the banquet, which could only have been sup
piled by the Major himself, rs the speech he had
not delivered was given IN ertens0. This was
copied into the country papers, and thence found
its way 20 London; and this, in turn, obliged
Gone wLO was present Il wonder who he was)
to state the plain facts of the case and the-Well
there was the deuce a9d all to pay. The lord
lieutenant took up the cudges for his brother-in-
law. There was heap OF angry correspondence,
and the result was that the two companies Of X.
Z. V. II. were broken up. But Major Mount
ChesnCy has never shown himself in the place
again, and is popularity supposed 10 have grated
10 Russia, where the fellows who insult field Off
GERS are sent 10 Siberia
Dining the oher day at the Rag" stumbled
over the gOuty foot Of that distinguished uIicer,
General Jowler, X. G. b., X H., X,
T. s., and so for the rest Of the alphabe,-Who
knows every fellow who has been in the army
since the field Of CullOden. After appeasing the
veterans wei. founded wrath and listening to a
string Of eNpletiycs which seemed to relieve his