The Portland daily press., 1864-07-11
From the New York Mercury.
HERBERT AND /.
BY DAISY HOWARD.

/. We had quarreled, Herbert and /, or rather
we were esIranged-and yet we loved each
other better than the lite God had given us.
The rest of the household had gone TO con-
cert, and sat by the ibrary-fre lonely and
despairing.
After ali, it is a very bitter thing to quarrel
with the one we love best on all the earth. |
went to the window, and hiding myself behind
the heavy curtain, looked out on the busy
streets. All outside was dreary. The wind
was iubilant, the sky was gray, and the moon.
light colder than all.
Within, all was tropical warmth and luxury.
Broad waves Of crimson flooded the library
floor, from the bright anthracite coal burning
in the open Crate. thought only and the
servants had been left at home. What, then,
was my surprise TO see Herbert enter?
He came so noiselessly In bis slippered feet,
that 1 never heard him till the door opened.
he looked pale and sad, and the broad white
brow, and dark, mournful eyes had lost their
usual calm expression. / noticed how weari-
iy he sank down in the great chair, and how
his fine mouth was compressed as though in
pain; it set me to thinking. remembered
hew long aud well he had loved me, and fierce
pang tore my heart as thought how well
loved him.
Was 1t not going to cost more than 1t would
S0AAS tJ-tAto iOtCt QudiTtiE Il iUu8tQ W
put my arms round his neck and tell him so,
but was too proud. knew he was going
away tomorrow, and / knew the fault OF our
estrangement was all mine. Would 1 see him
60 and make no sign? Could L? Would?
BE bowed his head upon his hands and
moaned. 1t thrilled me through and through;
but the ugly little devil Juggling at my heart
kept saying, Don't humble yourself to any
man, while my guardian-angel, looking over
my shoulder grew sad, and said:
Let not the sun go down upon your wrath
Already ten suns had set since had array
ed myself against Herbert. was distracted
between the angel and the demon. In all his
life Herbert Graham had loved only me; at
least he had told me so, and believed him.
Yoa had but TO look ut his calm, truthful ewes
70 feel THAI . lie had never snllied his pure
soul; besides. my Herbert was one of the hum
blsst Of Gods servants.
By and by he lighted the gas, and went to
writing letters; but the sadness Of his face did
mot abate one whit He wrote rapidly for an
hour and hall, during which time wrestled
with my stormy soul, listening alternately to
the angel and the demon.
1 have thought since, that night was the
turning point in my life. thought of the fu-
ture, which might be so bright, or so dreary,
just as wiIled It. I thought how Herbert had
built up all his hopes on the future we were
10 share together.
Only fortnight ago he had drawn me
Claude-like picture of the dream he was in the
habit Of dreaming, under the sunshine, with
eyes open wide.
A home, darling, where the orphan, Her
bert Graham, will be lonely no more A home
at last where the tripping of woman's feet,
and the sound OF woman's voice, will sound
like musicl A home where q sweet wife will
sit by the tireside that has been so lonely-a
small woman, with flowing robes and soft fall
ing hair; without ornament, only narrow
strip OF rich lace around the white throat and
dainty wrists; woman that will ill every
nook and corner OF the pastors home and
heart"
This he had said, with his fine face aplow
only little time before, and now it was all
over. The home would never be, and the wo-
man who was to bring all this JOY had been
tried and found wanting!
sank upon my knees, under shadow of tn G
window-curtains, and carried my desolate
heart TO God. The face of an angel was very
near to me then, and would not listen to the
demon harping:
sDo not yield; If you yield to him now
you VIII always have to; It's just as you be-
gin.v
/ wept and prayed alternately, and thought
OF the past, present, and future.
Then forgetting TO pray, my spirit looked
down through the amber and gold of the years
10 where youth and maiden stood by q new
made grave and pledged their faith; and later.
how the same youth and maiden stood be-
trothed lovers, with my parents sanction, and
Gods blessing: full OF glad young life; rich
with immeasurable hope and now-I despair
ing, and Herbert full of anguish, but bowling
meekiy. because he was a servant Of the
Most, High. and knew this trial was God
appointed.
Herbert finished the papers and once more
sat down BY the fire.
Last Sabbath he had preached bis first ser
mon as an ordained minister of God; preached
II with this sorrow had caused him Juggling
at his heart.
| thought Of his Loneliness; how he had
lived in his fathers old home, with only
man-seryant, for Seven long years: and how
now, being charged to fill his fathers place, he
would return alone 10 the old place, and the
old loneliness. AEEF 81
The clock struck eleven. | knew they
would soon be at home, my aunt and cousins:
SO, listening only to the angel, / stole out
from my hiding-place, and kneeling down be
side Herbert, laid my head on his knee / had
no words 10 offer, only my tears; and he, that
brave, strong soul, that never knew weakness
himself, accepted my mute prayer for forgiy-
ness.
He spoke only few words regarding il.
for he knew the repentance must be very
deep that would bring my proud soul to his
feet.
will not tell you what the error was
enough that Herbert has forgiven me, and my
lie Is once again rich with immeasurable
hope, and each days sun rises and sets upon
a home where discord never enters, for the
white-winged angel Of peace spread her wings
over 1t, when we came to dwell here, and we
have lived under their shadow ever since.
read OF an estrangement to-day, that end
ed less happily than ours-death to one, and
life-long remorse to the other-because the
one In fault was too proud TO acknowledge
she had erred
Living with Herbert, have come to under
stand the full meaning of the word "proud.n
II Is not "spunkyp holding out against an
other; 1t is not being "high-strung," or sin
dependent." 1t is being too proud to .hold
on, 70 our opinion, or to yield to our own |
feelings, when we know that another Is right |
TOO proud to have our own heart condemn US |
secretiy, 70 Cypress the weak, or break any |
law, human or devine. Ii Is when one Is |
estranged from ones lover, being too proud to |
let our temper gain the victory over our heart |
and judgement, so that we cannot see clearly |
where the right is
AT any rate, If one loves man ii is not so
very hard thing to yield TO his reasonable |
wishes; and then TO yield is oftenest rich,
and always graceful and womanly.