Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1864-04-04

and made into drum--whst benefit has she
derived from high living
Shs eats and doss not fattsn. The Moorish
apeculAtors, who raise girls for tho matrimonial
market by crsmmiug them with kouseoussou,
could mske nothing Of this lsnk bnt insa.iste
dsme What is it The climate, or the vast
potatious of iced water ehe imbibes7 There
must be some cause for the people who eat 80
much looking so very unhealthy.
As for the sppstte Of the men folks, there is
little to be wondered at in t. They have always
ia view at meal times high moral purpose
They have a duty 70 perform. They pay three
dollars . day for iheir board ct Willard's, and
they are determined to have their moneys
worth for their money. Thus there is breakfast
from halEpast TO ii, dining frsm II to 3,
dining again at 5, tea ct a. azd supper at 8.
You may be always eating, and there do seem
to be guests st WillATd's who Eever miss q meal,
bui are continually gorging. Some art is re-
quisite, some fnesse has to be exercised, how
ever, 20 obtain q meal 10 your liking. There is
nothing on the table save the knives, forks and
glasses, the castors snd the condiments, such as
cslery, anehovies, dried smelts, Gods sounds,
olives, sAlssd cucumber, best root and cold
slaugh,
No dishes are handed to you, and unless you
be loud of voice and authoritative in gesture,
YOU will not find the walters very attentive to
You. But prOdigiOus bill of fare lies before
you, and from it you mentally select such
dishes as you think will suit your palate. Then
Won beckon . black waiter, and in = deliberate
and determined tone tell him what you want.
He erins from saT 10 ear, rolls his eyes, and
gldes away. If you have feed him, or you look
| good.nsturedly, and he thinks you will fee him,
or he has taken fancy to you, he speedily re-
turns with tray full Of oval white dishes, con-
tAining the viands you have ordered.
4 -. 4 - at kas,A
crossed in attending to a regular boaTder who
has bribed him to be attentive ell through the
winter months, you may have to wait many
ninutes-perh2ps half an hOuT-beiore you OBJ
tain anything at all; aud then very probably
the waiter has been Oblivious, and briggs you
the wrong things. There is, in all cases, one
peril against which the stranger should be
warned. Order but few dishes, aud you are
lost. The negro will put you down as " mean
cusS," " one-horse sort of person, snd sys
temAtically neglect you. But order half the
dishes set down in the bill of fare, aud be will
at once entertain an exaggerated notion Of your
importance, and almost Ay to execute your
sommapds.
GOOD STORY.
The hrst time / breekfastsd At Wnlard's I
said, modestly, that / should Ike q cup Of tea,
some dry toast, al egg, and 8 little toasted bs-
con. Il struck me that the waiter regarded me
with g very slow and contemptuout lock, and
that be retired from my presence in a very slow
aud superstitious manner. VISITED, and waited,
aud waited, bat no tea 10 toast, No egg, no ba-
con came. There wss ssiiting opposite to me
dappeT little man with large beard aud embToi-
dered shirt front, With diamond studs, cut velvet
vest, and pen jacket. Here, you," he cried
TO the nearest Eihiop, " bring ne gone fried Oys-
teEs, some steWed oysters, some tsnderiou
steak aud onions, come scrambled eggs, pork cut.
outlets, some fish balls, some dipped toast, some
Graham bread, some mashed tuTnips, SONS cold
ham, some buckWheat cakes some hot coffee, and
soms blanc mango. I've paid my money, snd
by - mean to gee the show -
Tbs only way to get on in Americs Is, bav-
iEg once paid your money, to insist on seeing
the show. If you don't the people will think
yea are mesu-spiritsd, and trampls On ycu See
it see the shows have the snimals stirred up
wi!h long pole; pinch the spotted girl to see
if it is real flesh, or only tights shs has or; pick
the ksngaroo's pouch; make tie pelican blesd
sgsin for your Qualification. You have paid
your money, don's bs imposed upon, hollow
with stringent voice; curse and sWesr in a land
where executions are rife brsg louder than
the greatest bTsgadoeios in the world IF need
be ie--he with face Of hTass and LUNGS Of
leather crack up your own country, 70 tie dss-
riInent Of ell Others vow thai we won the bat
t,e of Fontenoy; swear that Peter Morrison vas
the grettest philsnthrepist Of the age; declare
that Ar R1ebuck is ninety feet high. II q man
spits on Joar boot spit on his waiseoa!, and then
"guess that you did not sim low enough"
II you find bis letters lying about read them;
if he tells you anything in confidence, publish
it in q newspaper keep on moving; 60 ahes5;
20 into business; smash; Tecu persie; drink with
eyerybodyi talk dclsTs from sunrise to mid
night. Do this, and tie Americans win admire
you, and you may admire them. They will say
you are smart man." and at last you will
be spoken Of as remarkable" man. But if
yoO psy your money and dent walk up TO the
boothi if you are nervous and not Abashed; if
rudeness pains and bestial manners disgust you
if you strive to substitute temperate argument
for frothy defamation, and rational proof for i'm
pudsnt assertion; if you tell the truth and are
modest and q geRtlemsn-you can never hops
for success in this young, adventurous and as
tonishing country. You had better "cleaT out'
bsfore you are "run out" You had better 90
home by the next CGnsrd steamer, for you sre
clearly not fitted for the institutions and people
of the United States.