The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1864-09-07
How they do Business in the British War
Office.


According to the following description, Civ
en- by the British Army and Nary Register,
the persons employed in the War Office.in
London are not oyeriasked:
"At the risk OF being considered tedious we
will give sketch OF life in the War Office
between the hours OF ten and four Let us
enter the room before us: il looks COOL and
there is screen IN the corner which will ef.
fectually conceal Us, while we make our OBJ
serfations, from the eyes OF the officials who
sit at those four square mahogany desks. 1t
is Just twenty minutes past ten, so we may
expect those WORTHLESS immediately. All here
is one. He is quiet old gentleman, dressed
In black with white neck tie; he hangs up
his coat, hat, and umbrella, takes his seat in
an arm chair, and gradually falls asleep.
While We have been describing him the other
clerks have entered the room and are prepar-
ing for the arduous duties OF the day. .Ano-
ther dun says a young gentleman, looking NJ
the supsiscription OF letter he has Just TAX
en- Qom otfh desk. sConfound the man, this
is the third letter / have received from him
in four days He puts down the note, and
pours some water into the t1mbler contaimng
the rosebud which peeps through his button
hole when he Is out the Office. He yawns.
sits down, and lazly glances at the Times.
Il say observes an individual, with horse
shoe pin placed In the centre of his scarf, sOld
Middle has gone to sleep; don't you think
we ought to awake him TO send ont tha se-
port?" MIR. Muddle epeas his eyes with q
start, lnurfaurs something about q long walk
and fills up form which he signs and sends
to the head of the department by a messen-
ger. During the next hour aud half there
is dead silence in the room. All the gentle
men with the exception ofthe chief who is
doing over minute paper are hard at work
at the Times. al last the young possessor OF
the rosebud rises from his desk with sigh Of
relief and yawns. Mr.. Fitz Twaddle, SAYS
the chief clerk suddenly, don't you think you
might try little indexing 2 sAh, that's
rather q gocd idea replies his subordinate,
seeing way TO Kill time; give me the book.
The book is given, and Fitz- -Twaddle tries
little indexing. He soon gets tired OF the oc-
cupaton, draws caricaiure of his chief on
some blottiDg paper, looks at the clock, and
leisureiy puts on lis coat, rosebud and hat.
Going to post letter. he observes at the door
OF the room, He pays his bosom friend Frank
Nomind 4 visit on his way to the hail. and the
two young gentlemen together leave for the
Park. The individual with the horseshoe
scarfpin now produces a dutch oven and a
pork chop. Assisted by another clerk, who
rejoices In a long beard and rough head OF
hair, he cooks the meat at the official fire.
The banquet is then served on dirty towel.
Il say, Vikings says he OF the horseshoe, Il
think l shall bring Soyer Capital thing,
sir; when | was down In Warwickshire,' re-
plies Vikings, i found ii OF great use.'
"The merits of Warwickshire and the
charms Of sporting are then discussed for an
hour, when messenger, holding paper in
his hand, enters the room. What do you
want? is the abrupt inquiry of Vikings.
Mr.. Brownly. sir, says can be have 22s., l64th
Foot, 994.' No, he can't have it until Tues
day replies the clerk, and then continues an
anecdote he has been relating-'so the squire
+ told him to lie still, TOUCHED the mare with
the spur, and cleared the ditch like bird.
"A capital leap the man with the horseshoe
observed, but when / was down in Devon.
shire l. and the anecdote of Vikings i.
trumped Mr.. Fitz- -Twaddle now returns
! from his promenade. He divides his after
noon into three portions; the first he devotes
1 TO holding egees attended by Frank Nomind
the second to yawning. and the third TO lit
tie indexlng. Mr.. Vikings employs his time
Ia writing the Town Talk for the Bunkum-
vile Mercury, and the gentleman in the
scarfpin, having nothing particular to do, re-
/ peruses the Times. The small hand OF The
/ clock sluggishly inoyes towards four, ant
when Il poiats to that hour the room is de
serted"