The Union. [volume] (Georgetown, Del.) 1863-1866, 1864-05-20
sstA, sstisdpsn, aud Auarur.



The mule is hsf hess and afjackass, and
ther kums tu full stop. natur discovering
Tha weigh more akordin to their
heft, than emmy s.her creature, except a
crowbar. Tha kant hear emmy quicker nor
further than the hoss, yet their ears are big
enough for snow shoes. You kan trust them
with emmy one whose life amt worth emmy
more than the mules. The only wa to keep
into paster, is to turn them into medder
jineing and let them jump out. Tha are
ready for use just as soon es tina will du to
abuse. Tha haint got emmy more friends
than Bill Harding, and will live ON huekel-
berry brush, with an akasioual chance at
Kanada thissels. They are moddern in
venshun Il don't think The Bible alludes to
them at tall. Tha sell for moro money then
other domestik animils. You kant tell their
age by locking into their mouth, emmy more
than you keuld Mexican cannon. Tha
never have no disease that good club won't
heal. If tha ever die tina must KUN rite tu
life agin, for 1 never heard nobody sa "ded
mule" Tia are like some men, very kor-
rupt at hearts; i've known them to be good
mules forsix months, just to git good chance
to kick sumbody. never owned one, nor
never mean to, unless there is United States
law passed requiring it. The reason why
they arc pashunt is bokauze tha are ashain-
ed of themselves. l hsve seen eddikated
mules in a sirkis. Tha kould kick and kics
and bite tremeniis. I would not So what I
am forced to sa again the mule if his birth
want an outrage aud he want to blame for it.
Emmy man who is willing to drive a inuis
ought to be exempt by law from running Tor
legislature. They are the strongest oFeeters
on earth and heaviest Ackording to their
size; heard ov one who fell oph from the
tow path, on the Fri kanawl, and sunk as
soon as he touched bottom but he kept rite
on towing the boat to the mex stashun, breath
ing through his ears, which was out ov the
water about two feet six inches; didn't see
this did, but Bill Harding told me ov i' ami
never knew Bill Harding to lie unless lie
kould make sumthing cut oi it.
sag-A few days since a gentlem"' t1t
beyond the limits of this neighbor1oo
ed a negro f the road he was travelling
certain place. Cufoe gave the rcq"' '-
formation, but seemed curious to know W..
the stranger was as well as his oceup' -A
For the fun of the thing The travelel con-
cluded to humor ebony a little. and the fol-
lowing dialogue ensued
"My name is -, and as to the business
1 follow, if you are at all smart you san
guess that from my appearance. Can't you
see that am a timber cutter"
"No, boss, yOu no timber cutter"
IAN overseer, then?"
"No, sir, you no lock like one"
What say you to my being doetorf"
"Don't think so boss-you don't ride in u
sulky."
well, how do you think would DO for
preacher?"
81 sorter spects you ia dat, sir"
"Pshaw, CufFee, you are greater fool
than took you for. Don't look more like
a lawyer than anything elsef"
''No stree Bob, you don't dat.
"Why. CuGee?"
"Wey; now you see, boss, rs been -idin'
win you more,n mile an you h1in't eussed
an lawyer always cusses."
A Professional MAx.-"sally." said a
housemaid to her fellow servant, "I've o
sweetheart--saoh nice young manr Res
| professional p
oh, Jemima, don't use such wicked words. :
''oh but IT amt a wicked word ct sl'
Sally--it's business"
Business, Jemimai what businessf
''Gusss, Sally, what it is. itbeginS with
H."
"I know. Jemima--it's hosifer."
"No, it amt though; it's something much
better than hosifer."
"Then it's horange merchant-tha ats 1t
Jemima ?"
"Oh, you hstsful thing--to think of any
thing 90 vulger! He's Hoeksioneer."
| aG-An' Cuff, will you be afther tipping
us a little bit of sony this mOrningf ex'
claimed son Of the Emerald isle to broth
sr Of the sable'race, co-labOrer N the d.
vision and subdivision of wood;
Golly, massa, can't sing?
! Can't singf Ar what's yer leg stuck in
the middle ofyer fut for, like birds if y
!, can't eingf
Es frs aeahst