The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1864-04-30
My Wifc's Cousin.

1910, ous having understood that Q wa.
In afiiuent circumstances was little pre-
pared Tor the condition in which fou nd
nim Through information derived from
fhlladslPhia Directory, went to one o
tnose alleys with which that city abou nd,
.ae found his name on . sign board, A.
sociated with that of another man, over ,
dark and dingy shop Tho sign purported
'hatt they were locksmiths and bslihang>
ers; also that locks were repaired and
Keys fitted. Without ceremony, walk ed
INTO the gloomy recess, where there was f,
oiacksmlths forge, and where among sew
erai muscular locking men up to their
Armplts IN work, was my wifes cousin -
ne received me most cordially, and for a
moment Intermltted filing a huge brass
Key on which he was engaged, and the
shake Of my own dexter by ono of hi.
broad, brawny hands, can liken to no
thing nearer than the shock Of a Young
earthquake.
Take seat, take a seat" he observed
and just as soon a. finish this kew.
we ii make tracks for home
OF course replied that was in ne bur
ry, and at osca became interested in the
| facI!e manner IN which he wa. metanor.
| Phosiag rough casting into a polished
I key. As soon as it wa. Completed. ne
| washed the worst Of the dirt from hi,
hands, and hung up his work aproa. and
! putting on his coat and hat remarked in a
| cheerful tone. Come now, Cousin Aleck.
/ lets 60 ana see whether my wife has got
! any tea for US
Alter we were in the street. our conver
sa,ion IN, zsibly ran on business. and
/ took occasion to say 10 him that had
been OF the opinion that ne had retired
de On ~ DE-
Don say word about retirement" he
replied; 1T really makes me sick To think
Of 1t. People talk Of retiring from busi.
ness while they are he lihy and able 10
work why tell you, Aieck tnev don't
know VIVA. II means. dIdnt know what
{ II meant until | tried it. but noic retire
'Aent and misery sound II my ear, Ike
words Of cbcut the came u--aning"
f.rcelvIn. lie han struck A subject o.,
winch ne could easily be cormun .clt.ve
locked Inqu'ring'y when he reioined
Perhaps yon never heart the pa -t!cula-s
OF my retiring?
On mg replying that hal nat, he pro
ceedsa You see Alex, !, !, about
three years ago, that having as you would
say, competency, ! made up NV mind
10 stop work, aLG move into the country
50 | sold out NV share OF The business 10
my partner, spsnt yea o. more "a Look
ing Al two OIL three score Of coGa'ry places
ana at last found one. that nv wife and
myself were considerably pleased with -
Fine double house, four acres Beautifully
shaded, vegetable garden no; To be b.a;en,
and soil Of Superior quality The pl ace
Is still m nv possession, but oefsr. would
90 ana live on 1t again | Il give i. away:
yes, Aieck, d see il sunk IN the Dead
Sea, But m getting tile ahead Of nav
story. or two or taTes months matters
ard thIrsS went on vsrv well bcauso |
had something 10 attead To IN making 4
few improvements about the house, and
! IN furnishing a number OF the doors with
locks of my own invention; out as the
whole premises were in excellent repalr
! when ! bought thom, soon came 10 a
point where there was nothing TO look
alter but the cultivation Of the garden
! WAS not long. though, iu making the
discovery that had no genius nor taste
either Tor digging arosud roots, or pulling
! up weeds. and SO as my wife didn't wan,
! the garden TO run 10 waste. | en-
| ployea regular Englisa gard er to car
| ry the thing h0nd=-esly through
/ Vol, | d'dn'; ,a.nd the expense he put
me TO II the way of guano, new-fans led
| gardening ,oo.> and pateat watering ap-
! paratus for had fully expected to.peni
money, and thanks 10 our previous econ
emy, we had the money to spend: But,
Alsck, 1t wa. really amusing TO see what
/ fruit. and vegetables raised in our garden,
stood us in. Making use Of tho little
arithmetic | was master Of. ! recoliect
that ! eyphered up the cost of some Of
the table hxins. and the result was-cu-
cunbers, seventeen cents apiece; green
peas, dollar and three quarters Tor a
half peck; curraat., fifty cents quart;
6eets, fourteen cents each ra.bsrries.
thirty cents pint, and everything in
proportion. All this | cared nothin.
about, but ssnIe how, felt out Of ay
gearing in not having the right kind of
employ ynent. " ife did her best to coax
ns into gentlenanly ways; had the old
mechanical CRIME all thoroughly scrubbed
out OF my hands-hnger>naiis cleaned and
rounded-so as to mako it appear that |
| had never done manuel labor.
Theu We must get behind a couple Of
| Morgan ponies which | had purchased,
! and make fashionable calls IN the Sa,
time on those who had called on us; and
| my wife wanted me 10 soften down nv
Voice and to be purticular about n,y gram.
mar and the subject, ! talked on, Lu,
/ sometimes forgetting myself would revel
! in the proud memory of the locks aud
keys had handled in happier days and
commence a history OF n.y exploits in
that liae, when wife would look as though
she was going to sink through the floor.
In fact she wished TO keep a perpetual
lock On nay lips $50 far as our antecedents
were conceiRed) with the key in her
pocket. But sighed for tho shop, and
htime hung heavily on my hands, so that
an hour spent in stupid listlessness about
the house seemed longer to me than day
did, when had orders ahead for locks.
and was driving hard to get them fin
ished at Z ven time. NY Youngest bro
ther, who is a college bred man and law.
yer, sent me at nay request fine colec
| ton OF books on all imaginable subjects,
SO that my library outshone that of the
| parson, or indeed any other man IN tho
place but found ! had no more taste
! to 81, down and read than | had for trim.
ming cuarant bushes. lime was after
had finished hard days labor at the
! shop, when an hour at books was a real
selace, anG l also believed an occasion OF
improvement. Then envi.d those whose
leisure allowed them to feast on books
perpetually; But the mistake made was
in iaiiing 10 disci inmate between the
mental habits and requirements of a pro-
, fsssional student, and those Of the work.
tIg san'
in this wretched manner did time at my
! country seat drag heavily along. Visit
Ing was perfect bore, for not feeling the
slightest interest in such masculine topics
IS corn, grubs, aad manure, aad caring less
| for the feminine Chs os dress and le-
cal gossip, didn't know what to talk
about. Books put me to sleep and not
having tht society of my two boys, who
were off at boarding school, became fully
satisfied that nothing to de- was equal
20 having everything to suffer
Ny most delightful place Of resort was
q blacksnnith's shop, some two milss from