American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1864-12-07
WIN AND WISDOM.


Is deaths door opened with skeleton
| key?
THE newspapers are full of prophecies,
but where is the prcftP Echo answers
on all sides, +" can't see it"
SIDNEY SMITH compares the whistle
of locomotive to the squeal of lawyer
when Satan gets him.
A MAN who courts a young woman in
the starlight probably expects to get a
wife in twinkling.
Why is man who stakes his money
at Baden like star? Because he's an
ass to-rfsh.
Is there any truth in the report that
the Arabs who live in the desert have
sandy hair?
WOULD you say lady was dressed
loud who was covered all over with bu-
giles ?
Why is a pig the most provident of
animals Because he always carries
spare-rib or two about him.
\ TAILOR who, in skating, fell through
the ice, declared that he would never
again leave his hot goose for cold duck.
WHEN a man says L would not be
egotistical, he might as well add, " if |
could help it."
A RICHMOND chap advertiscs a pair of
old shoes as lost, offering a reward for
their recovery.
NEVER confde in the young; new pals
leak. Never tell your secretsto the aged;
old doors seldom shut closely.
The school girl who "fell into rev.
erie" last week has been pronounced out
of danger by her physician.
WHY is person drawing an ox's teeth
like the sunset? Because he's an oxy
dental phenomenon.
JoHN BULL has to pay at :he rate of
1926 per week for every convict he
keeps under lock and key.
A GOOD question for a debating socie-
ty Which is the most delightful ope-
ration, " To kiss fair woman on dark
night, or dark woman on fair nightW
They hung contractor out in Indiana
few days since. He had contracted so
much, that it was thought advisable to
stretch him a little.
WITH little house well filled, a little
land well TILED, little wife we'll willed,
husband we'll skilled, and servants well
drilled-a little time may be well killed
A MAN who had brutally assaulted his
wife was brought before Justice Cole, Of
Albany, lately, and had good deal to say
about getting justice"
Justice" replied Cole, you can't get
it here This court has no power to hang
you"
A WONDERFUL story-teller, addicted to
humming an air, beginning Strike the
Lyre," was much surprised when one Of
his acquaintances taking him at his word,
knocked him down.
A YOUNG man at Pittsfeld, who went
in fer exemption from the draft, and who
was asked by the examining surgeon up
on what grounds he claimed exemption,
told him that abe never felt hungry af-
ter dinner"
FoR want of water, | am forced to
drink water; if | had water, | would
drink wine" This speech is riddle,
and here is the solution. Itwas the COM
plaint of an Italian vineyard man, after
long drouth, and an extremely hot sum
mer, that bad parched up all his grapes.
DRAKE of the fremont House tells a
story of one of his walters that would
have fitted Same Lovers Har.Ily Andy.
6 Bring me the cs&sror," said traveller
to IA newly imported table servant The
10y rushed about in spasmodic and OBJ
viously distressed manner, and finally re-
turned with the answer, I" it's all ate, sir"
AN Irishman, in describing America
said, " | am told that you might roll Eng
laud thru it, an it wouldn't make dint
in the ground theirs fresh water oceans
inside that ye might droun Ould Ireland
in and, as for Scotland, ye might stick it
in corner, and ye'd niver be able to find
it out except it might be by the smell of
whisky"