Prescott journal. [volume] (Prescott, Wis.) 1861-1871, 1864-03-05
Waits.

"A certain Mr.. David Fender, popping the
question in a letter, concluded thus =" And
should you say yes, dear Mary, will truly be
your ID. Fender.
An unmannerly wag being asked by the
landlady of his boarding house why, being so
tall man, he ate so little, replied, Madame
little goes great way with me"
=" Mother" said young Scott, on being
told that all men are made of clay, :" Duncan
Donelson has ane leg, has the clay been unco
dear, dye think, when he gangs wi a timber
ane z"
"Wen, sir" said Dunner to his errand boy,
"did you present the account to Mr.. Dunupg"
"Yes, sir" And what did he say?" "He
told me to go to the Devil, SIR" "And what
did you do them" "Why, then, sir, came
to YOU, of course"
While recently engaged in splitting wood
Jones struck false blow, causing the stick
to fly up. 1t struck him on the jaw and
knocked out front tooth. "Aye," said Bill,
meeting him soon after, "yOu've had a den
tai operation performed See" "Yes," said
the sufferer, "axe-idental."
"A gentleman, segenty-fve years of age,
recently lost his wife. A venerable lady,
neighbour, of nearly four score years, was ask
ed if she had called on her old friend since
he had lost his wife. "Why, no, indeed "
she replied, in almost indignant surprise. at
would not look well for a widow like me to
call on him now, as he is a widower."
An affecting incident occurred at the
New Haven barracks the other day. A wo-
man desired to see her husband-embraced
him, began to sob and cry violently. Hus-
band gave her his handkerchief to wipe her
eyes, after which she curiously manipulated1t
under her shawl and returned il to him.
Husband took it as if it was brickbat. Off
Ger of the guard investigated, and found a
bottle of old rye whiskey in handkerchief.
-Foote was in the habit of initiating the
peculiar manner of General Smith, whom he
introduced into his comedy of The Nabob,
under the name of Sir Matthew Mite. One
| day the General sent for Foote. Sir" said
| he, " hear you have an excellent turn for
mimicry, and find that i, among others, have
been the subject of your ridicule." "Oh,
said Foote, gaily, " / take all my acquaintan-
ces off at times and, what is more wonder
full, often take myself off," Pray let us
have specimen" said the General. Foote
put on his hat and gloves, took his cane, made
a short bow, and retreated from the house
without uttering another word.
| Mr.. Abernethy rarely met with his match
except upon one occasion, when he was sent
for by an inn-keeper, who had had a quarrel
with his wife, and who had SCARED his face
with her nails so that the poor man was bleed
| ing, and much disfgured. Mr.. Abernethy
considered this an opportunity not to be lost
for admonishing the offender, and said, mad
anne, are you not ashamed of yourself to treat
YOUR husband thus, who is the head of you
aIl-your head, Madame 2" swell, doctor,
fercely retorted the yirago, and may not
scratch my own head?"
Two clergymen, one Presbyterian and
the other of the Dutch Reformed Church,
were seated in jovial mood before the fire
place enjoying themselves in friendly chat.
| The Dutchman, like most of his brethren, an
inveterate smoker, in rising from the fire al
which he had relighted his pipe, struck the
back of his head against the wall of the chin
new. "Ouch," he cried, " that makes my
head ring" "Then it must be hollow" said
his friend "Does not your head ring when
YOU strike it?" inquired the other. !" No.
ssThen it must be cracked" was the rejoinder
~
e% The weather is remarkably mild IL
New England Observation-Disclosures say that
trailing arbutus, the buds just ready to burs'
into blossom, has been found in some sunny
nook at Chicopee, Mass, and it is the middle