Delaware gazette. [volume] (Delaware, Ohio) 1855-1886, 1864-01-15
DRESSING GovNs.

DRESSING GoVNS.
Ny uame is Albert Fling am en active
business, married nlsn that is, welded to Mrs
Fling, and married to business. I hal the
misfortune, some time unee, to break leg
aad before it was meaded, Msdame Fling ho
ping to soothe my hours Of convaleseence
caused to be made for me dressing gown
| which on due reflection, believe was model
ed after the lateststyle OF strait-jackst. This
| belief is confirmed by the fact that when I
| put il on, am at once confined to the house
"ges mad and am eoberly convinced that il
any of my friends were to see me walking in
the street, clad in this apparel, they would 10 :
stantly entertain ideas of my insanity.
have three several times. while wearing
this gown been taken for Madame Flihg by
people coming to the house. The first
time was shaving in my chamber: in bous-
ced Miss k, who believed as il was
rather late, that had gone down town. She
| threw up her.hands exclaiming: ID 81 -f1e aa
Good gracious, Fanny, do you shave p aa
n. B.-Fanny was my wife's' first name.
The second time brought the wood-saw
and horse up from the cellar, and was exer-
cising myself saving up my winters wood in
the GUNNER Kitchen, according to DR.. bowels
advice, when the Trishman from the grocery
store entered with the bundle My back was
TO him, aud only seeing She gay lowery gown
he exclaimed in an awfully audible whisper to
the cook: 1 E+a7 1a5t @ a 7'7H
"Shure yer mistress has the power in her.
arms jist." zso iasse-zS1-a f*s 2 r -saH -i b.
Think of my wife, my gentle Fanny, having
lit shouted around to fthe neighborhood that
"her brute Of husband made her saw alltheir1
winters wood yes and split it too, and
make all the fires, and so on, and etc. and oh!
I srn glad nay husband isn't such monster y
I turned on the Irishman, and whenhe saw
my whiskers he qnailed. io =5oi@a'1 p off
The third time I was bIaeking my boots, &C 4
cording to DTs,Howel's advice, which expands
the deltoid muscles is Of benefit to the meta
earpis, stretches the larnyx, opens the oisoph-
gers and facilitates expectoration N I had cho-
sen what Fanny calls her conservatory! for my
field of operation-the conservatory has two1
dried fish-geraniums, and dead dog-rose
in it, besides bad smelling eatlnip bush
when, who should come running in but that
Identical Miss *, who caught me sha
wing, 7t
''Poor Fanny" she said before could turn
around, "do you have to black the boots of
that odious brute p" s -
s:Miss *" !" said 1, turning toward her
aud folding my arms across my dressing gown
spite of having a damp unpublished boot on
one arm, and wet backing brush in the 9TH
er hand, for wished to strike aposition and
awe at the same time; E'Miss X, am
that odious brute myself" %
Ifyou had observed her wilt, droop, stutter,
and fly. z7't o'@-- 8 -.
My wife went to the sea sh ore last summer:
I kept the house open and stayed in town
cause, business When she returned, Miss
x who lives opposite, called to see her.
In less than FIVE minutes my wife was sa d, |
desoIate, injured, diseonsolate, aflic-
ted, etcetera woman.
"How-ow c-could you DIDO it, Albert?" she
calculated, flooding every word as it came ou!
with tears.
"Do what?"
aOb-wob wooh- -woob ah p
Miss k here thought proper to
leave, casting from her eyes small hardware
shop in the way Of daggers at me, as much as
to say "You are vicious and hate cheese !'
-(theatrical for hate ye.) |
Fanny, left to herself, revealed all TO me-
Miss x, through the venetian blinds
had2seen gown in my room late at night.
1T is too true, " said I, "too, too true
''Al-lal-al-bert! you w-will b-break my heart;
1 could tear the destroyer of my peace ts
p-pieces." |
Come on" said I, .'yOu shall behold the
OF your peace. You shall tear
her to pieces or I'll be d-dashed if don't.
l am tired of the blasted thing
grasped her hand and led her to ths back
chamber.
.rhere againa. the wall r
ait is said she.
"It is" said l, "my dressing gown. / will
never again put ii on my shoulders. Here it
goes"
Rip it went from the tail up the back to
the neck:
Hold, Albert will send it to the voup-
Jed soidiers."
Never they are men, bricks, warriors,
such female frippery as this shall never de
grade them. Into the rag bag with it, and
sell it to the Jews for a pair of china sheep or
. crockery dog" r L
i. . a. -oo, 7;,a-.. 81 ,be Ma aI,,1 I