The daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1863-1864, 1864-03-22
- All Sorts of Paragraphs.


All Sorts of Paragraphs.
May the Federal armies be preserved,
and the rebel armies pickeled.
A STATUE of Father Mathew, the Irish
apostle of temperance, is to be erected at
Cork.
A SCHENECTADY Dutchman lately kissed
young lady and then paid $50 to avoid
exposure.
GEN GRANT, when he got out of the Presi-
dents East room, declared lie had enough
Of the show business.
That was an inquiring young mind
that asked the schoolmaster where all
the figures went to when they were rubbed
out.
II is fact credtable TO barn
yard nature that, while curses come
home to roost, roosters never come home to
curse.
The New Nation is the title q
Fremont paper just started in New York
The New Nation is miscage-nation pro
badly.
CHAs. READE calls his "Very Hard Cash, !"
novel but any kind of hard cash has been
a novel thing in this country for several
years.
A COUNTRY individual who was caught in
the water wheel of saw mill, says he in
tends to apply for pension, as he is sarvi'
vor of the revolution.
IA RALE old Irish gintleman," perhaps a
king, has been discovered by some laborers
near Dromellby, ireland. His stone coffin
was nine feet long.
AS the lovely cedar is green throughout
the barrenness of winter, SO shall the
Christian alone flourish amid the winter OF
death, and bloom in Immortality.
"WHAT is it that stickest closer than q
brother 2" said Sunday School teacher to
one of his class. "A postoffice stamp-by
gum !' said the young incorrigible.
In the Sunday stiffness we hear not the
waicry of oppressive labor, but the peace
bells Of the towers in the morning chime
the futures, as IN tue evening chimes the
past.
AT spiritual circle the other evening,
gentleman requested the medium to ask
what amusement was most popular In the
spiritual world. The reply was, "Reading
our own obituary notices"
WHAT is the difference between a legal
document and a cat One has pauses at
the end of its clauses, and the other has
claw-ses at the end of its paws-es.
thaf
if the Naiads were constantly bathing he
presumes from their name that the Dryads
we're the ones who brought them their tow.
els
TIE Virginia Senate has resolved to ask
Congress to place three Federal soldiers at
hard labor, one with ball and chain on the
public streets in retaliation for the sentence
of Gen Butler on Generals Bayne, Hodges,
and Wingtield at Norfolk.
PHILADELPHIA NJ. E. CONFERENCE.-THE
body has chosen the following delegates to
the General Conference. Rev. DR.. Durbin,
Rev. j. Castle, Rev }. Cunningham, Rev D.
W. Bartine Rev. Geo. Barton, Rev. A
Wallace, aud Rev. s. Mason.
GEN MCCLELLAN, at the head of the
Army Of the Potomac, would have whipped
the enemy in his frontif the Administration
hadn't all the while been tugging away at
his coat-tail.
The trial of Col. Fish-late Provost Mar,
shal Of Baltimore, progresses, aud the evil
dence is strong against him, showing, as it
does, that he appropriated" the property,
of rebels for his own use. Commodore
Baldwin's testimony before the Naval
Court, it is reported, is damaging to Admi
raj Wilkes.
By a mistake in signals, at the Hoosac
tunnel the other day, gang of men, three
hundred and sixty feet below ground, were
not pulled up when they fired the blast,
but were exposed TO rocky cannoDade.
They escaped with a fright and few
bruises.
In England there are sixty-two individu
ais TO every hundred acres in Ireland but
thirty -four. In British North America
there is but one person to the square mile.
A CowHIDING affair came of Thursday
night near the corner of Eighth of Green
floggor, feminine. fogee, a male, who
broke, though the golden, rule, "Never
commit to paper what can be said by word
of mouth. Louisville Democrat.
A DESPATCH from st Paul says that the
general plan for the spring campaign against
the Indians was decided upon while Gener-
ais Sibley and Sully were in Milwaukee.
Details are now being arranged, and all
that it is proper to make public will be Civ
en- in few days, but all statements at pres
ent are mere speculatious:
The London Times, in an editorial on the
tsxation to which America must be subject
ed, says the inevitable truths of finance are
at length dawning on the American mind.
and says the Americans can and must make
up their minds to bear wide spread and eq
uitable vexation.