American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1864-03-16
WIT AND WISDOM.

SOMEBODY says that birch rods make
the best baby-jumpers,
He who is controlled by the love of
money obeys the golden rule.
To what class of periodical literature
do soldiers contribute? To reviews.
A CHANGE of heart nowadays is bro't
about by the change in the pocket.
CoRcKsoREws have sunk more people
than corkjackets will ever keep up.
THE merriest people in the world are
the Germans; they haze always piping
times.
The literary style of asking for a slice
of ham at dinner is, " I'll thank you for
an elegant extract from Bacon"
THE more music you can make on one
string, the less it will cost you to keep
your fiddle strung,
A THOROUGHLY honest man will not
lie even to Els dog, or in any way betray
the brute's confidence.
If the very best mans faults were writ
ten on his forehead, he would pull his hat
oyer his eyes.
WE should always put the hapdsom-
est face on everything without, to the ug
illness of our own.
The American eagle must never be
divided We can't think of putting up
with half eagle.
WELL-BEHAvED boys may be called
younkers; but rude and vulgar ones are
nothing but young ours.
A NAN of philosophical temperament
resembles cucumber; for, although he
may be completely cut up, he still remains
cool
THE Providence Transcript says there
is a lady in that city SO aristocratic that
she refuses to read Il newspaper, because
it is made of rags!
AN exchange paper says :-'' Parties
who have been in the habit of stealing the
editors wood, will please take knots that
our devH can't split p
DURINo an argument the other day, a
Yankee declared that the North could
lick the South with feet manned with
women ..
SOME men keep savage dogs around
their houses, 50 that the hungry poor who
stop to " get bite ahay get it outside the
door.
A CELEBRATED philosopher used to
say, "the favors of fortune are like steep
rocks only eagles and creeping things
mount the summit"
PRIDE is sometimes a very good help
mate to a good fortune, but, Ikea Japan
ese wife, it should perish on the funeral
pile Of the estate,
SoNNEY, does your father take pa
per ?" Yes, sir, two of 'em. One Of.
em belongs to Mr.. Smith and the other
to Mr. Thompson. .fhooks 'em both of
the stoop as reg'lar as can be-"
Mn. JONES, you said. yoswere con-
nected with the fine arts, Do you mean
by that, that you are SCULPTOR
9 No, sir, don't sculp myself, but |
furnish the stone for the man what does"
A wESERN editor, describing the eff
fects of squall upon canal boat, says:
When the gale was the highest, the un-
fortunate craft keeled to larboard, and the
captain and another cask of whiskey roll
ed overheard.
A COUNTRY youth who had retured
home from the city, was asked by his anx-
ious father if he was guarded in his con-
duct while there. "Oh, yes" was the
reply of the devoted son, was guarded
by two policemen part of the time"
CoTToN is going to be drafted, sce, :"
remarked Valentine, languidly, as ne dal-
lied with the English Items"
"Is it so?"
eyes" replied Valentine, they are now
trying to find substitute for it in Eng
land"
AN old darkey was endeaving to ex-
plain his unfortunate condition. You
see, remarked Sambo, g 1t was in dis way
as far as | can remember :--Fust, my fad
der died, and den my mudder married
again; and den my mudder died and my
fadder married agin, and somehow
doesn't seem to hab no parents at all, nc
home nor muffin"