The Shasta courier., 1864-08-20
A Noisy Couple.

| L nau an aunt coming 10 NlSit ue fOr tne
first time since my marriage, and | don't
know what evil genius prompted the wicked
ness which perpetrated towards my wife
and ancient relative.
~ My dear" said | to my wife, on the day
before my aunt's arrival, you know aunt
Mary is coming to morrow; we'll, | forgot to
ms ntion ratherannoying circumstance with
regard to her. She's very deaf-and although
she can hear my voice. to which she is accus
toned, in its ordinary tones, yet you will be
| be heard. 1t will be rather inconvenient,
but know you will do everything in your
power to make her stay agreeable
| then went to John r, who loves a
joke about as well as any person | know of,
told him TO be at my house at six o'clock on
the following evening, and felt comparatively
happy.
went to the railroad depot with carriage
next night. and when | was on my wal. home
with my aunt, | said:
My dear aunt, there is one rather annoy
ing intirmity that Anna (my wife) has, which
| forgot to mention before. She's very deaf,
and although she can hear my voice in its or
dinary tones, you will be obliged to speak ex
tremely loud in order to be heard. | am
very sorry she is so."
Aunt Mary, in the goodness of her heart,
protested that she rather liked speaking loud,
and TO do So would give her great pleasure
| The carriage drove upon the steps was
my wife-in the window was John r,
| with face as utterly solemn as if he had
buried all his re,atives that afternoon.
| | handed out my aunt-she ascended the
steps.
$ | am delighted to see you,i shrieked my
wife, and the policeman on the opposite side
walk started, and my aunt nearly fell down
| the steps.
! Kiss me, my DEAR howled my aunt
and the hall lamp clattered, and the window
shook as with the fever and ague-I looked
at the window-John had disappeared HUI
man nature could stand it no longer pok-
ed my head into the carriage and went into
strong commissions.
When | went into the parlor my wife was
helping aunt Mary to take off her hat and
cape; and there sat John with his long face
of wee.
Suddenly, " Did you have pleasant jour
ney p went off my wife like pistol, and
John t neatly jumped to his feet.
rather dusty" was the response, in a
war whoop, and so the conversation contin.
ued
The neighbors for blocks around must have
heard it. When | was in the third story Of
the building heard every word plainly.
In the course ofthe evening my aunt took
occasion to say to me
How loud your wife speaks-don' it hurt
her?n
told her all deaf persons talked loudly,
and that my wife being used to it, was not
affected by the exert;on, and that Aunt Mary
was getting along finely with her.
Presently wife said, softly
'.Alf, how very loudly your aunt talks -
"1es," said |, "all deaf persons do.
You re getting along nicely; she hears every
word you say" And rather think she did !
Eiated by their success at being understood
they went at it hammer and tongs, till every
thing on the mantel- piece clattered again.
and | was seriously afraid of crowd cQllec-
ting in front of the house.
But the end was near. NV aunt being of
an investigating turn of mind, was desirous
of finding out whether the exertion of talking
so loud was not injurious to my wife. So
Dosen't talking so loud strain your
lungsYs said she, in an unearthly hoot for
her voice was not as mus cal as it was when
she wa> young.
"Iti an exertion." shrieked my wife.
"Then why do you do it7'' was the an
swering scream.
Beeause-because-yo can't hear if |
DON'T squalled my wife,
"What?'' my aunt fairly rivaled rail-
road whistle this time.
| began to think it time to evacuate the
premises; and looking around and seeing
John gone, | stepped into the parlor, and
there he lay, fat on his back. rolling from
side to side, with his fists poked into his ribs.
and a most agonizing expression of counten.
ance, but not uttering sound. / immedi-
ately and involuntarily assumed similar at.
titude, and think that from the relative po-
sition Of our boots and heads, and our at
temptto restrain our laughter, apoplexy must
have inevitably ensued, if horrible groan
which John gave vent to in his endeavor to
suppress his risability had not betrayed our
hiding place.
In rushed my wife and my aunt, who by
this time comprehcnded the joke: and such a
scolding as then got | never got before. and
| hope never to get again.
know not what the end would have been
if John, in his endeavors to appear respect
full and sympathetic, had not given vent to
such a diabolical noise, something between
groan and horse laugh. that all gravity
| was upset, and we screamed in concert