Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1864-07-28
A Born Snowman.

There are men who do not adopt a calling
or profession in life, but are born to it. They
are identical in their instincts with cele-
brated surgeon who once told us that he
really had learned nothing since he was a
boy, and amused himselfin his fathers back
yard, by catching the chickens, putting their
legs out of joint, and setting them again. Of
this nature is Phineas T. Barnum, of the
world renowned American Museum. He
was born a Snowman, and could we follow
him into the infantile days we should doubt
less find his first passion lay in getting up
some puppet-show to gather in the pins of
his less inventive and unbusiness-like com
panions.
This passion is shown in his daily life.
He opens a place of public entertainment
and offers his patrons a dramatic perfor-
nance of three hours duration, a full range
Of an immense building stored with half a
million Of curiosities from every part Of the
earth, the finest aquaria ever seen on this
continent, giants, dwarfs, Albinos, and a
dozen Of minor things, any one of which
would make a country show. The public
are satisfied, they come, are more than
pleased, and 60 away after six or eight
hours amusement or instruction; but not
so with Barnum, he is not satisfied. The
old insatiate spirit that was born within him
is always rampant. Nothing must pass his
hands. Has he six giants on hand, and
another is heard of, he has him. If a
dwarf is whispered about, the acquistivc is
at work, and Barnum scents him in the far
corner of the land, and secures him before
any one else has rubbed the sand out of his
eyes. A strange fish is heard ofin Africa
that encases itself in hard clay nine months
in the year, only coming out with the fall
ing of the rains, and directly our Snowman
is seriously unhappy. unless he can have
one for his aquaria: The object is accom-
ished by sending a messenger to the river
Gambia, ard half a dozen specimens orna-
ment his collection: He thinks a whale
would not be bad thing for the rising gen.
Grafton to see, and straightway pipes are laid
to the river, almost half mile distant from
the Museum, at cost of $4,000, and vessel
is dispatched to the coast Of Labrador, to re-
turn with monster, the flap of whose tail
would knock good-sized boat to atoms, and
his fshship is to be seen disporting IN
large glass tank, built for his reception
considerably larger than an ordinary sized
dwelling g-house. Scarce is his whale housed
when horned woman is heard of in Turkey
and away goes messenger from Barnum
with plethoric purse, and gold at 200 to
secure her. His agent in London, for he
has them everywhere, writes Of wonderful
box that is about to be exhibited there, and
the grasping Barnum, with golden hand
seizes the treasure, ant shows it to the puz-
zled Museum visitors simple box, not
larger than an ordinary travelling trunk,
| from out of which its constructor takes 200
pies of house furniture, ranging from a
dining table 12 feet long down to dozen of
garden chairs.
If we were writing sketch of fiction,
nothing we could supply would equal the tale
we are relating, but we plead guilty to tell
ing nothing but simple facts. The unthink-
ing public may, at first glance, say that no
business could stand this recklessness Of
outlay, and that any man must fall before
such multiplicity Of acquisitions. Webeg
to differ. The practical examplifcation has
been that as Mr. Barnum extends, his efforts
he extends his audiences, and enlarges his
building, until from the year 1841, when he
first took the Museum, and his daily expen-
ses were only $40, he has increased them
to sT0o per diem, and still advances. Dur