The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1864-11-30
ORTGINAL AND sELEOTED.

- Mgnteen ciergymen were elected TO the
Legislature at the late election in Vermont.
BA respectable funeral in New York costs
$500.
Eof what trade is clergyman at weddingg
A join-her.
Why is person annoyed by fool like
one who falls into the sea Because he is man
over-bored.
E"Mary," asked Charles, "what animal
dropped from the cloudsi' ssThe rain, DEAR
was the whispered reply.
HIf the storm of adversely whistles around
you, whistle as bravely yourself; perhaps thetwo
| whistles may make melody.
| E-The copious fall rains which we are now
receiving are said to betoken an open winter and
small amount of snow.
R This is the season when young single peo-
pie are translated; are caught up into more
blissful state without tasting death.
RThere are so 900 Chinese, all heathens, in
the United States-a promising field for mission
aries without going away from home.
RThe shire Of Hillsboro, n H., has been re-
moved by vote of the people, from Amherst to
Nashua.
R-The New York Ferry Boats carried. in
1862, no less than ST, 1853 500 persons, without
single accident occasioning loss of life.
H-It cost rural gentleman just $s45 to see
the elephant in New York one day last
week. s-i
RIn China, the salt water wells are illumi-
mated by means of the gas which issues from the
ground.
~ Massachusetts, has but SOC, 900 people
all told; yet her machinery does the work Of over
| ZOO, 000, 900 able-bodied men.
81 In the southern part of Massachusetts,
there are twelve thousand women employed in
bonnet factories.
BItis funny to hear how the whole house.
hold and its visitors talk to the baby. A king,
in former times kept fool; every baby has q
dozen.
R"All bitters have a heating tendency or
effect, said doctor to young lady. stYou
will except bitter cold morning, won't you,
doctor ?'' inquired the lady.
EFF you have remarkably strong consti-
tuition, you may read the following; if not, we
beg of you to pass it over: eff cigar makes q
man i'll, will cheroot make MANILA ?''
V An old widower says: "Always pop the
question with laugh. If you are accepted
well and good; it not, you can say you were
only joking % Here's wickedness.
BGen. Garfeld's majority for Congress in
the 10Th Ohio district, is over $4,000. The SOL
diers from his district gave him 2033 votes, and
only 8 for his democratic opponent
VThe Concord Monitor says there is re-
port in circulation that Gen. Mcclellan has ac-
cepted position as Civil Engineer under the
Russian Government
ETA farmer being asked if his horses were
matched, said, 'sYes, they are matched frstrate;
one Of them is willing to do all the work, and
the other is willing he should"
ETA friend wishes to know how long Ken
lucky viii remain democratic state. just as
longin our Judgment, as she hugs the chains
that binds her to her slave population.
RA retired actor, with fondness for poul-
try, was asked why he named . fayorite hen
''Maoduf ," He replied that it was because he
| wanted her to clay on.'' "a
EThe editor Of little paper down east,
itching for notoriety, is spreading his coat tail
and inviting some one to tread on it, and the
question is, who has microscope to see it I
RA post morton examination of gentle
man who died a few days ago at Waterbury,
Conn, revealed the fact that he had but one
kidney-a fact said to be unparalleled.
e. ftf
EVA schoolmarm in England has adopted q
new and novel mode of punishment If the
boys disobey her rules, she stands them on
their heads and pours cold water into their
trowser's legs. 8
cyan Irishman who had been asked to fur
nish proof of his marriage, took of his ks1 and
exhibiteda scar ON his head. Here" said he,
is my marriage certificate. That's. Judy s
mark
E"Oh, I am so glad you like birds. What
kind do you most admiref' said q wife to her
husband ssAhem Well Think good tur-
key. with plenty of seasoning" said the hus-
band, sis about as good as any
TA letter from the Second Maine Cavalry,
dated Nov. 18th, informsus that that Regiment
voted for Lincoln 273; for Mcclellan S. The vote
for Governor stood, for Cony 277; for Howard
2.
1 Rwehayes vary large number Of pieces Of
original poetry. placed on sle, and correspon-
dents must exercise their patience. Why don't
they oftener try their hand at prose They are
more likely to get an early hearing. s
During an investigation, in London, into
the deathof Mr.. Stephens, rigger, it trans
pired that his wife had stripped the dead body
of all the clothes which he wore, and bad
paWped them for drink. 2eA1 "a 1tAk9S
H-Ths naval force of Brazil consists of IS
sailing vessels and II screw and side-wheel
steamers; in all 50 vessels. mounting in the
aggregate $40 guns, including small boat how
ltzers, etc. 8 s91 alsa1a6 a5s b8s<sl4saa AZ
R-A Western editor was recently requested
to.send his paper to distant patron, provided
he would take his pay in 'trsae, At the end
Of the year he found that his new sHhgcriber
was cof6n-maker. ~ 4e-ts :
HGen. Dana has issued an order placing
freedmen in his district upon the Mississippi
plantations of JEFF. Davis and bis brother Joe
and that of the heirs Of the late Gen. Quitman.
These estates comprise about 10 900 acres of the
best cottage lands. sefs
- The Missouri soldiers take the precedence
of all others in their unanimity for Mr. Lincoln.
Against 6s25 votes fer Mr.. Lincoln, Mcclellan
received only IS. The total of the home and
soldier vote 80 fsr o. received is: Lincoln, a.
| 076; Mcclellan, 81 ,2oo. ~
BPeople accustomed tospeak by the card,
say that Beauregard has been euchered, and
that Sherman is making a march. He certainly
seems to have gone it slene, SO far. Beauregard
will have to order Hood up. ia hprry.--[New
Bedford Mercury.
H0ne of our best clergymen one Sunday
| preached q sermon ON the close Of the year.
wherein he alluded to the sspomp of the regal
forests One of his hearers objected to the
sermon, ON the ground that it was an abolition
discourse. An explanation was asked. ssWhy.'s
said he, ''didn't be say 'Pomp Of the forest
and isn't that Niger in the woods, I'd. like to
know ~ as aff ~
RA Yale college alumnus was visiting the
old institution lately, and one of the professors,
in showing him about, proposed to 60 and roll
a game of ten-pins. sEoii tep-pins with you,
sir % cried the alumnus, with CLEAN of ma
licious fun in his eye, "why, sir, I was expelled
from the college for rolling ten-pins 20
VWeunderstand that the convicts in the
state prison are almost unanimous in condem-
nation of the unkind, discourtsoas and denun-
| or;x;t s~vh;ch