The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1864-04-28

No. II.
day, has been fixing the gaze Of the Cap
ital; and only then can it be at all sp-
preciated.
Mr.. Wood at first thought to brazen il
out then to bluster and interrupt: Al
last his head sunk upon his breast, aud
for the FIRST time New Workers ssy) h,
gave signs Of FfEilNG the loathiny with
which be was regarded.
A Missionary in DIR. ODDS New Church Or.
datned by Rev. Petroleum v. Nasty.
CHURCH w THE New D,srExsAr1ox,
EN -. March 18th, 1864.
Last Sundy we he'd on improviu seem
Eobbert looms Punt who hez bin stud
yin for the ministry with me fer the pas
1 weeks, wuz licenst and osdand he is
yooth wv much promise. He votid
twist for Bookannon, aud only. l6 yeres
old, swarin his votes 10 with coolnis
and eese that eggscitid the admirashun
Nv the patriarks at the biznis. l kin
safely say that he hez whald moar Ab-
lishnists, bustid moar Methodist Breth-
rim ard uther hetcrodox churches than
any Dimocrat Nv his age in the stais. lie
hez brilyant fucher.
After the usual qwestiops wuz put
him and satisfactorily an.crd, the con gre
shen wuz dismist, and in the presents Nv
the elders and dekuns alone, delivered
the followin CHARGE:
Brother--Hevin bin regerly ordained,
it only remanes fer me to civ 700 a wurd
NV council. Yoo air a coin in 9 the
apossel biznis at a rayther unfavrable
time. Man which is born ov woman hez
trubblc for his inheritsuce--Pva he'd so
SO much Nv it that ef bed it to do over
ngin I woodcnt be born at all.
The politikle hcvins is orecast with
poreteDshus clowds. The litenin Nv wrath
is leapu from wun to anuther, wilst the
thunder wich wuz wunst at = distance,
now rores angrily in our eers. (Graffic
ritin.) The ole ship Dimocrisy is toss
ing madly on the wild waivs; with nary
a sale set, her seems open, the water "a
furrin element to her insides) rushin in.
The stddiest part Nv her crew seed the
botes and abandoned her, and the rest Nv
um er Gtin for the helum.
In the menetime tho ole ship is dashin
past the haven Nv Success, and is hedin
strate fer the rox Nv Destrucshen. To
700 is entrusted part Nv the work Nv
savin her. Let me entreet 700.
|. Avoid the sol)ers. With them 700
hev nothin in common. They will des-
pitefully use 700. Wunst party Nv em
maid me drink pint Nv water and talk
the oath Nv allejinse, wich outragis wuz
follered by CONGESTION Nv the BOWLS and
iniamashon Nv the brane.
2: Alluz preech sgin the niger. Its
e,u.itus dtmocras to be constantly told
that thar is race Nv men mcauer than
he is. Besides it's safe-the niger hez
no vote. Ef he he'd We might vary.
3. Aluz hev marter. The stait rites
dimocrisy alluz simpathyzo With man
that's in basteels fer simpathyzen with
the sowth, fer nun Nv US know how soon
their turn may kum.
4. Prcech asin ANAL gamashen ut least
1 Sundys per munth. A man wv straw
that 700 set up ye.sslfis the eesist knoc.
down, pertikerly if 700 set him up with
a view wv nockin Nv him down.
5. Alluz diloot yoor whisky fer new
converts. II talks much to convert q
Ablishuist, and eff 700 use the pure artik-
kle it wood kill ordinary constitooshn
afcre he'd hev time to vote, wich wood
be sggervatin.
6. Sarch the skriptcrs fathefully for
sech passigis cs cussld be Kanan, serv-
ance obey yoor masters, and sich.
7. Lern to rede, or at leost git the
shaip Nv the letters SO fxt in yoos mind
that when 700 qwote from book or news.
paper, yon will ho!d it rite side up. Ed.
dcashen hez bin CRATE help 2 me.
8. Learn to spell and pronounce
Missenegenanashun. Its good word.
The crate ledin ijees Nv our sekt wich
it is yoor dooty to inkulkait is these: The
nigger's ape, Linkin a goriller, jeff
Davis chrischen gentleman, the REBEL
yum struggle for rites, the sojer
buddy tool, Ben Butler beest, it, var
tous to git drunk and vote the dimocrat.
ic ticket, ct settery. foo air never 2
hlceve in Fedral victrys, but must alluz
credit confedrit successes. l woodent
advice you to let your faith in the Con-
fedrisy go fur as to talk their skrip on
yer salary, neether wood l burn green
bax.
l hev dun. Go, my bruther. Let
yer poler star be Dimocrisy, yer rallyin
cry, The Yoonun cz it wuz--the Con-
stooshn ez it iz,' sich is latitoodinus, fite
the good fite, and the day will cum wen
700 kin lay orf yer armer, and with p.
NJ otter yer naim, engoy the reposo that
alluz follows well directid and wiggerus
effort.
Bro. Punt ..artid to-day for Suthern
I!linoy, where he has congregashen.
PETROLEUM V. NASBY,
Faster Nv sed Church, in charge.
Jumping Match.