Litchfield enquirer., 1864-01-14
WHOLE NO. 2O17
CONUNDRUMS.
How may man be known from fatigued dog? One wears shirt; the other pants.

dog? One wears 6 shirt the other pants.
 Why is the letter 70" the most charitable letter in the alphabet7 Because it is found oftener than any other letter in '' doing good"
 If you met pretty lady in dirty lane, why would it make the lane dirtier? Because you would ad mire.
 Why is man who cannot make another joke like an umbrella Because he ia used up.
 How would you express in one word having met doctor of Medicine. Met-a-physician.
 Why is lemon like an old maid who has been pretty? Because it was made to be squeezed and wasn't.
 When is lover like tailor When he presses his suit. t-a
 Why is the second wife of Q widower with a small family like Roman king? Because;shs is Numa (uew maj.
 Why is man who beats his wife like an sexqusitely formed dog3 Because he's per- feet brute.
 Which is the best way of retaining woman's affections? By not returning them.
 Why is a young lady just from boarding scnooi ike building committee Because she IS ready to receive proposals
 Why ought woman to preter brewers : drayman for . husband? Because he'll always supporter.
 What is that process by which twenty wo- men, assembled ln one room, can all be made equally handsome st the same moment?-- Putting out the light.
 
 Why is lover who composes pretty son. net to the features of his 'obect" like sol. dier? Because he knows how to write about face
 Why are bachelors like criminalsf Because they hate to go to court.
 What is the difference between good sol. dier and fashionable young lady One faces the powder, and the other powders the face.
 Who is the largest man ? The lover he is . fellow of tremendous sighs.
 What is the most difficult punctuation ?- Putting stop to wonlaHs tongue.
 Why is man who beats his wife like a quack medicine? Because he licks her (E-lix. ir).
 Why is marriage like truth ? Because it is a certain-tis.
 What is the difference between successful lover aud his rival ? .One kisses the miss, and the other misses his kiss.
 Why cannot the Emperor Napoleon insure his life? Because nobody can make out his policy.
 Why was Bonaparte like h's horsef Be- cause he had Marshal Nev
 What is tho difference between an Emperor and beggar? The one issues manifsstoes the other manfests toes without his shoes.
 What is the difference between the Prince of Wales and water from g fountain The one is heir to the throne, and the other is thrown to the air.
 When may ship be said to be ambitiously in lovef When she is making up to pier.
 When ia ship like fraudulent viutner ?-- When she makes port with haywood.
 What part of a ship is like farmeri The tiller. When is ship like washwomana When she is aboring in water. When is sailor not sailor? When he is aboard.
 When ship makes port does the crew get any? -
 When is Q newspaper like a seboolboy r. When it is corrected. When is it like . to. per's nose! When it is read (red).
 When may newspaper reader be said to have vorscious appstitef When he devours the Pos: and swallows the Globe.
 At what season did Eve eat the apple r. Early in the fall.
 After amusing an infant on the floor, why should you restore it to some one else instead of it's maternal parents Because you cer- tainly ought not to give baby to-ma to-ketch- up.
 Under what legal process should common swearer be arrested? A msn-dam-us, clearly.
 Tell us what light could not be seen in e dark room? An Israelite.
 If4 hound-dogs with l6 legs, can catch 29 rabbits, with s7 legs, in A minutes-how ma- ny legs must the same rabbits have to get away from hound-dogs, with 32 legs, in 17A nin- utes?