The Vermont transcript. [volume] (St. Albans, Vt.) 1864-1870, 1864-04-01

Then her health failed her Thank
God she mover suffered | had
strength and courage to save her from
this but | could never dcfray her ex-
penses on that journey which the doc
tor said would alone save her life
Aud to think that few hundred of all
the thousands which | possessed then
would have done this six years before.
and that / might have had her with me
that summer morning, with her pale
sweet face and gentle, low-keyod voice
put the thought away quickly, for it
made something rise in my heart which
was like a curse ON the dead Once I
had put down my pride for her sake
and solicited the loan Of few hundred
dollars from my uncle, and / did this
in the name Of his dead brother and
for the life of my mother, aud he refus-
ed me-he, wifeless. childless and so
rich, aud we hisonly relatives ON earth 4!
Oh into what rocks and stones this
greed Of gold hardens the souls ofmen !
Well they have met now and God be
Judge betwixt them.
was twenty-siN when my mother
died She stood for me as the type
and representative Of all women For
her sake had unbounded faith in all
although / lad never known one init
mately Ofan artful, selfish, designing
woman | had not the slightest concep-
ton, but l held all to be as pure in
heart as lovely IN character, MS noble,
as true and as self-sacrihcing as my
mother
In less than q year after she dsed /
met with one. She was the sister Of
one OF my classmates, and to wonder
ful beauty Of person She united that
grace of movement, that rare fascina-
ton and yiyacity Of expression which
makes q woman so grcata layOrite with
men larger acquaintance with the
sex has since convinced INC that this
style of temperament and character is
most frequently associated with lax
principles and impulsiyo but shallow
feeling, and that such women fin up
their lives with true and high and no.
bic purposes, but that their beautiful
impulses seldom condense into those
fixed religious principles without which
MI lives are mistakes and failures
Well ! worshipped Helen James For
two years there wasno altitude of NOR
al grace and loneliness to which ! did
not exalt my idol
l must tell the story briefly. We
had been engaged for more than year
when began to have some glimpse of
her real character of the petty social
ambition, the selfish motives, the htful
impulses the desire for admiration,
which governed it, Yet she loved me.
All the best impulses OF her nature all
the romance of her youth responded TO
me, and as there were in her clements
of rarely noble character, SO there
was q strong struggle betwiXt the good
and the evil i'll that girls soul My
faith died out slowly death Of such
terrible pain and struggle and agony,
II seemed 10 me, as must totally wreck
my manhood She vibIated a long
while betwixt HIM and me that dis
tant cousin of hors who htl made a
sudden fortune in California and re-
turned, and became enamored of her,
as few men could not help being few
men, mean, whose souls did not So
recognize and reverence spiritual beau
ty that no outward adjoining of grace
and loneliness could atone for the want
Of it. ] saw how, day by day, worldly
counsels and ambitions gained strength
with her; how she descended to petty
prevarication and injustice; how, one
by one, moral barriers gave away be-
fore admiration and ilattery, until | felt
that she could never be, in spirit and
heart. my wife, and at last ! said to
her
Go and marry, Helen James, this
man who has bought you, and to whom
you have sold yourself, and / shall ney-
er look upon you again until we stand
face to face before the God who is to
Judge us.
And | went from her presence that
false woman and down TO the river
bank, and my faith was lost and one
thought only saved me from the sin
and the shame Of suicide-it was the
memory of my mother.
SO, as | said my thoughts gathered
up all these years rs ] sat, a man sad
dened and disciplined by the expert
ence of life, at my chamber window
that summermorning, gloriously adorn-
ed of God, and set in a golden ara
besque in the heart of June wondered
what / should do with all this wealth
that had fallen TO me, suddenly, as in
some fairy legend ] could remember
reading at mothers knee away up in
the early-child mornings and l said to
myself
'What shall | do with all this wealth
/ wonder? l have lived long enough
to know the want and worth of money
all its limitations, all it can and cannot
do for man.
And then made some plans for the
future, and devised various ways of do
ing good and of blessing others with
this wealth; and then | sighed, think
ing there was no one in the wide world
who, loving me supremacy and entirely
would rejoice in this fortune which had
fallen to me, who would sympatlIize in
and stimulate me to bless others with
it, and whom | could gather up close
Ia my heart and shalfap thp fair head