Maysville weekly bulletin. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1864-1866, 1864-06-23
On Half Married.

| a snort time since, party OF TWO young
ladies and gentlemen visited Squire Curtis
at Greenland, apparently for the purpose ol
''uuiting two fond hearts into one" The
prospective groom appeared to be a young
man of sauguine temperament, whose ruddy
countenance aud glowing eye denoted the
near approach of the happy hour, when his
fondest hopes were to be realized. He
thrust hand in each breeches pocket.
placed the right foot firmly forward, and.
posing his head jsuntily on one side. gazed
first at the Squire, then at his hearts de-
| light as much as to say-'rve got heri
The lady sat. the picture of health, with
an expression of countensnce that told the
casual observer, butter wouldn't melt be-
tween her ruby lips. There could be seen
a suspicious little dimple, however, at each
corner of her mouth, that came and went
with every leer of a pair of bright, but mis-
chievous-lookiug eyes-sparkling with
rogush rsstlesuess-that told heI lover, ne
needn't count his chickens before they were
haiched.'
Now, we do not intend, in the absence of
our young friend, Arthur Cannon, to report
the dialogue geographically, but We shall
take reporters license for detailing the
following dialogue which was commenced
by the squire, who approached the parties,
and inquired, in his blandest manner:
What can I do for you, young frieuds2
Groom-What can you do for us? Why,
a darn'd site. Can't he. Sary?
Bride-Weli-I reckon tiff all's willin
G.-Willn'l Why, what's up! Amt
goin' to gin up NOW, I hope? You don't
mean to say shan't get married?
B.-Oh, no, John, you've come to get
married. and 1 wouldn't baulk you.
Good as gold! There Squire-there's
a pattern to begin with [siezes her, and
planting a FEW that would rival Twitchell's
pop beer1-puts on the harness like dove.
So now, Squire. gear up your fixins and
crack your whip.
Squire-eRisingj-Well, if you are in
earnest, can marry you.
G.-Ompatiently)- airnest! Of course
we're in airnest. DoL't PLAYER so--go into
"trip out the sarvice--you know Solomon
says, delays are dangerous, keep the feet
dry and the head cool, and bid defiance to
pbysickers.
B.-La! John, there's no use of being in
such hurry.
G.-Now, Sary, don't say boo! till it's
up the cakes-M cd crate. but don't splsrgs-
slow, but all fred sartain. Wake snakes
won't Bets Bradford howl when she hears
I'm married?
The Squire proceeded slowly in the
ceremony, keeping a-~-toh fal- Ayn on th g
intended bride, whose mysterious manner
excited a suspicion that a screw was loose
somewh here. When. however, be came TO
the response of the groom, the solemn scene
was disturbed by something like stentorian
yell
G.-Whoop! you better believe it! Of
course I'll take 'er-who sputes it? What
did come here for! May bet your life on
that. GO on, Squire--uow give her a haze.
The squire, in turn performed the service
which was to extott acquiescense to her
lovers wishes; but instead of the precious
words I wll,' gushing up from the pure
fountain of maiden heart, 'Nov blunted
the senses of Squire and groom.
G.-Great shakih' agersi Sary-what did
you say?
B-No! (The Squire looks psrpiexsd,
and Sary, laug hing outright, begins to move
off ."
G--Stand yodr ground Sary! Squire
hold 'er. Go on with the sarvice-drive it
through. and clinch on t'other side-rivit
Ter ao10.
B-No you don't. You've no right TO
complain. You wanted to get married.
but I'm not married! So pay the Squire and
run home before your mamma knows
you're OUT And away skipped the little
jilt. convuised with laughter.
G.-Great Caesar, Squire, it's your fault.
If you'd only put 'er right through. and
hadn't stopped to mince matters, I'd had
'er.
The groom left with rather a rueful
countenanco, and appeared to be lost in deep
meditation. which was only disturbed by
the merry peals of bevy of girls, who sa
luted him with boisterous laughter, short
distance from the Squire's; prominent among
them, too, was Betsy Bradford. He is
known as the young mau who is only holt
married.
IWhy. my dear child, said an anxious