, 1864-03-05


gury and other disgraceful means. One pef-
son In stI Of the whole population dies in
some public Institution Of charity " cor
rcction..
WIT AND WISDOM.
! thoroughly honest man will not lie evon
to Ills dog.
The first and greatest thing In rhetoric is
to have something to say
They are fools who insist on being perfect
y miserable because they cannot be perfectly
II you would pass for more than your val
ne, say little. 1t is easier to look wise thai
to talk wise.
It is good to repeat old thoughts in the
newest books, for the old works In which
they stand arc not read.
nyou are insu1ted in gentleman's house,
let the first thing You open be not your
mouth, but the door.
Young lady, most young mex would rather
sec the ring on your third finger, than IN ink
spot on your first.
Can you write "thc season Is backwardn
with four letters? Herc>they arc: G G
:, Be careful of your table-talk. Do all your
biting at table in biting your food. Don't be
biting in your remarks.
1t Is faet crcditable to barn-yard nature.
that while curee8 come hemc to roost, roost-
ers never come home to curse.
The marriage Of q tiaxen-haired yeuue Girl
to a silyer-hafred old man only illustrates the
truth that silver can buy tax.
That was m insuiring young mind that
asked the schoolmaster where all the figures
went to when they were rubbed ont.
Ought pair Of trowsers which have been
obtained on credit to be legally regarded as
breeches Of trust?
"My Lord" said the foreman OF a Welsh
Jury, when giving In their verdict. sswc find
the man that stole the marc not guilty"
The true theory Of wonan's rights is to
educate the girls thoroughly, and then let the
women do as they have mind to.
The reason why woman has her way 50
much eftener than man is that both he and
she are conscious that her way is the best.
Say what is right, and let others say what
they please You arc responsible for only
one tongue-evenn II you afe married man
to discover the mysteries Of eternity. They
might rs we'll hold up candle to sec the
stuIB.
s'Neyer put off till tomorrow what you
can do to-day, my child" stWcll, then, ma,
let me eat the big mince pic thai Is In the
safe'
It is grind thing for public teacher to
speak with feeling that God is behind him
to speak SO es to be only the arrow in the
bow that the Almighty draws.
He who IL satisfied to travel upon his feet
may be able to keep his carriage, but he who
is content with only riding, may not long be
able to keep his feet
4 Dutclman's heart-rcading Bo1floquy Is
described thus: s'She loves Shon Mickle SO
peter as I because he has got coople tollers
:. "a.
ent selves,-onc that promised and lied, and
one that believed the other. After q while,
they both lie to each other, und neither be-
HeTes.
"Mr. smithers, how can you sleep 60 The
sun has been up for two hours" SWELL,
dark, while I'm on bender till midnight,
If yon sec miserly hypoc1ite praying on q
Mount Of Olives, probably he Is about to
build an oil-mtl1 up there; II weeping by the
brook kedron, you may conclude he Is about
to fish Tor crabs.
The following allitezative couplet is on
Cardinal Wolsey, who WINS the son Of 4
butcher in Ipswich:
How hanghtfly his hjghness holds his head.''
Why are the gentlemen Of the pugilistic
Iing under the special protection Of Proyi-
dencee Recausc not sparer falls to the
ground without his knowledge.
Rowland Hill said once to some people
who had come into his chapel to avoid the
rain, ''Alany. people are to be blamed for
making religion cloak; but do not think
those much better who mike 1t an umbrella"
4 great writer has observed that nothing
Is more difficult than to make presents NTH
Judgment. The difficulty is one which never
troubles some people in the least. They avoid
all questions Of propricty by not making pre-
When bean was asked why he wore Lis
resplendent Hes6fan boots in the finest
WcatheE, and appeared in shoes and silk
stockings only when 1t was net and muddy,
ne answered, "3ly wife washes my stock
ings, but I have to clean my boots mJselE''
A Young lad ran away from home, and went
to 4 tavern, where he was found By friend
| with cicar in his mouth. tWhat made you
| leave home ~ inquired his friend. tO,"
| said, he, father and mother were SO saucy
that 1 couldn't stand 1t; 60 quit them!'
lady II, Mho ,.,9 b9asted highly at at Al dinner
deaf, won't you have beans!" NO." was
the il1~mannercd reply Of the pctulant chcrub.
"No!" exclaimed the 'astonishcd mother;
"no what ?' s'No beans,'' said the child.
Mr.. Wesley was once annoyed with the
discoraant noise Of warm.hearted rustic in
singing; Friend. you Epoil the singing, you
49, 80 80 80. " 49, - ~..,.+ 49, - ~ 'tts;.s
my aSalt d ss, !, - wv a,aasa mas. rsn7 sl 'oo ~
Oh, 1rlenu, "as "esies iepty'
"!sn't i strange" remalked i q !ady, .that =
the Miss Snltne are gIoss - MOI ataH. l.,
Was me reply, 3he1r 1athes #1s grocer
" 1t is rcmarka6ie 1lat you are Always 1orgcl.
ting ny name," & said q9as@l.aGqnaicn1tance @ T. a. 9
na1nea na sa n, ~ anah,r nzh Haips IS ~
o1e" "1S m"san n1 aa1,sa IT. r;ca u,n.,ro,oa,,
NJ. pauon .. e'1aso n1e ~. tn,.ta.a '"4GM - =
~ ane ep1pM11 XII, 1pon ,,si ai WIVES ~ az.
seeonn sa va +has tvar5a "nen 0u' "teu'
LIZ oiee4s" 'Neo1 u,... "o1
~ VIZ H. G1stiaea arst H. poco,.
| Hercsa ~ ann,her her A'as'"'
As rood Us Eother.
TuS 1oso 400.
| On that dccp retiriue shore.
Frequent pear1s Of beauty lie,
where tho pass on.waSes OF ToIe
ae rleGei; ;,oe neaa "a aaa a1!11i .ti
| Ines The % hitter ter taste Of voc:
Nothing altogether iii,
In the grieb oflong ago.-K. IT. Ai&n<.
4 gentleman rs wears Of ace, residing in
| Rhode Island, recently lost his wife By death.
| a venerable lady, q nelghbor, Of nearly five
score years, was asked Il she had called On
her friend since he had lost bis wife. Why" !"
she answered IN almost indignant surprise,
"no indeed! It would not look well for d
widow ike me to call on him now, US he Ia q
widoWcr.'
A witty fellow happening to step in little
ale-house one day, called for glass of the
refreshing beverage. After drinking It he
eaid to tue landlady, with the air Of one who
has some great secret to communicate, "Mrs.