davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mineral Point weekly tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1859-1868, 1864-02-17

" | have watched, in my time a great many
deIberative assemblies IN session-from Brit
ish Parliaments to imperial Senates-from
Joint stock companies board meetings to par
ish vcstries The sight witnessed on the 9TH
of December reminded me very strangely and
forcibly of an entirely new conclave 1t was
as though | saw beneath me a spacious no
BILE and wcl-governed school. Many of the
scholars indeed were old, and few were
bald, and some were reading newspapers ;
but the desks the books, the writing imple-
ments, the high-perched president, all had a
scholastic aspect. Nor Is there aught in such
an aspect. ! infer, mean, or paltry, or vul-
gar 1t was free school, and the scholars
had come not to idle away their time, in jab-
bering about Mars, Bacchus, Apollo and Viro-
rum. but to discuss AID 10 decide some of the
sterncst and awfullest issues that in this Eng
lish tongue were ever mooted."
As to the prophecies observed in Congress,
COMPARED with those of the Parliament-a
subject on which our English cousins have
specially abused us-Mr. Saia speaks man
fully and truthfully, thus
The gentlemen had room as ample and
seats a. comfortable. They were of all grades
dandies-and an American dandy is to
Lord Dun dreary, in point of personal SPLEEN
dor and hairy luxuriaIIce, what Count DOrsay
might have been 10 stunning Joe Banks
officers, many with the shoulder straps of gen
erals: common soldiers, common sailors,
clerks, shop-men boys of twelve, farmers and
laborers The humblest-if any can be hum
BILE where all are proud, and the omnibus
driver tells you that his cad is the gentle
man : who takes the money-were all decent
" and warmly CLAD, for in America no one,
, 1864-10-07
Abraham and Columbia.

Lank Abraham lolled in his library chair,
Consulting ''Joe Millern and Vanity Fair"
When in swept Columbia careworn and pale,
But dauntless and naughty mid Fortunes assail,
Come Steward she said, now explain, if you can,
Why shan't discharge you and try new man =
Then Abraham, the willy, replied, with grin,
90 Dutchman said, in the cOuhty of Quinn,
(The story is old, but in point, as deem,)
Taint safe to swap hOsses when crossing stream"
" Cease, srrah, your jesting remember" she said,
" My fields with the blood Of my yeOmanry red
The wall of the widow, the orphans sad eye
Rebuke the rude trifing of lowly or high,
My children are warning along my green slopes
come for your counsels, your plans and your hopes
Quoth Abraitam, Don't swap; Tor as sure as gun
This thing, it is certain must never be done,
Your biler will bust if you bother the steam
Taint safe to swap hOsses when crossing stream"
"But Steward p she answered, "my debts are untold
Account for my treasures Of silver and gold
Hard taxes wrested from labor's brown hand
Yet pledged is my income and mortgaged my land
Your squandering waste what the plunderers miss
Three years of your olles have brought to ths!"
And Abraham replied as he stradded his chair
You know, my dear madam, I'm honest aud square;
To shelve tried President don't dream
Taint safe to swap hosses when crossing stream"
You crouch to John Bull for French despots hurrah
You cringe to the Spanard and toady the CzAr;
My shield cannot shelter poor refugee;
My commerce is hunted all over the sea.
How fallen am 1.-The young Queen of the West.
Who walked among Nations more proud than the best
Tis true,' said the steward az notice your fix;
But let the pot bile, and just tote up the sticks.
Don't muddle the milk if you hope to get cream;
Taint safe to swap hosses when crossing stream"
Sr, since you persist in your quips and your cranks
Where is ROsecrans, Cameron, Scott and Nat Banks?
Pray, why do swap if removal won't cure,
When Fremont fast and Mcclellan was sure!"
And quellng her tears, she demanded reply
With clouds on her brow and fame in her eye
That midns me, said Abram, 'of Old Deacon Bruce,
What's sass for the gander antsa far the goose,
Things amt at all times SEE he quite what they
seem,'
Tant safe to swop hosses when crossing stream
Enough' cried Columbia, my future see
Ruin havoc and death in the homes of the free
Fair liberty stabbed by the lords of misrule,
While thoughtless she laughs at the freaks of their
fool;
Thieves, clowns and usurpers in counsel preside
And fraud force and folly my destnes guide"
q have it," quoth Abram Gas slick as a mice
Squash Hamlin and governments rid of its vice
But don't you turn tail at a Copperhead scream,
Tan safe to swOp hOsses hen crossing a stTeam.n
disgusted, would listen no more
But cried in rage, she stOrmed through the door
" l have kept old donkey for nearly four years,
Who brings me but scorn and disaster and tears
VOW l will drive respectable team,
Though forced TO swap horses when crossing stream
, 1864-10-07
One by One.

One by one the hopes we cherished
In the lovely long ago,
Like bright day dream have perished
From our pathways here below;
One by one their lights grow DINNER.
As the stars at evening day.
Till the gentle, golden glimmer
Of the last hope died away.
One by one they have departed,
Those we loved in other years,
Till alone and broken hearted,
We have nothing left but tears
One by one they faded from US,
Like the flowers in autumn time,
Till the last bright bud of promise,
Withered ere it reached its prime.
But we have a hope immortal,
One that will not, cannot die,
That when we have reached the portal
Leading to the throne on high
One by one they will meet us,
Meet again to part no more,
And with loud hosannas greet US,
On the Everlasting Shore.
, 1864-10-07

A MASSIVE MMD.-"rIe has watched the pro-
gress and conduct of the war closely, and he
said after having carefully read the editorial ar
ticles in all the daily papers about it, and con-
suited minutely and particularly, from day to
day, the telegraphic dispatches in regard to it,
and subscribed more particularly for the New
York Herald and its military maps, and in those
lucid maps studying the various bases of opera
tiOns and movements of our armies in the field,
and after organizing War Club in the little
neighborhOod where he lived, and exchanging
opinions with several of his neighbors in regard
to the war, and attending the various local meet
ings that were held, and keeping one eye in
tently fastened on Washington, and the other
ntently fastened on the various State Conyen-
tions held in the different States, as well as the
action Of different State Legislatures, and read
ing carefully the papers published at the capi-
tails of the States, and subscribing for the IL
lustrated papers Of New York city, and gazing
fxedly on the various bloody battle scenes; and
after doing all this, he said, 'he be blasted if
he knew what he did think about it.
, 1864-10-07

DR.. FRANKLIN ON CoNTENTMENT.- Young
person once mentioned to DR.. Franklin his sur
prise that the possession of great riches should
ever be attended with undue solicitude, and in
stanced merchant, who although in possession
OF undoubted wealth, was a busy, and much
more anxious, than the most assiduous clerk in
his counting-house. The doctor, in reply, took
an apple from the fruit-basket and presented it
to child in the room, who could scarcely grasp
it in his hand He then gaveit second which
filled the other; and choosing a third, remarka-
BILE for its size and beauty, he presented that
to hold three apples, dropped the last on the
carpet, and burst into tears. "See there" said
he, sis little man with more riches than he
can enjoy,
, 1864-10-07

How THE ADMINISTRATION TREATS VETERANS.
Men who will not pledge themselves to vote
for Lincoln, need not apply to the Administra-
tion for work, however well he may have served
his country. Here is case in point, which we
find in the New York Herald Of few days
since
~ am an honorabiy discharged soldier of the
Third United States artillery, my discharge da-
ted July 2, 1864 Yesterday morning 1 applied
at the Navy Yard for employment, and presented
my discharge, expecting that the proof of honor
able service might secure me work there l
was asked if I supporter of the present
administration, and replied that was. was
then asked if l would vote for Lincoln, to
which returned an emphatic negative; where
upon was told to go about my business, that l
would get no work there.
l deem further comment unnecessary, but
through the Herald beg to lay the matter before
the country. MICHAEL MALLoN.
, 1864-10-07

A gentleman asked Dennis Doyle, who some
years ago was member of the old Tammany
Hall Nominating Committee and famous for his
Irish wit, why they had sent for the last two
years, such a fool as Mr.'-- to the Assem-
bly,? "Why," said Dennis, "we send him on
true Republican principles" GLOW so, inquired
his friend "Shure you know, replied Dennis;
''the Constitution says all classes are to be fairly
represented and faith if we only send one fool
out Of thirteen members to representallth the fools
in New York we hardly do them justice"
, 1864-10-07

When Victor Emanuel first visited Naples, an
old man. more than centenarian, was presented
to him. The old man had walked from the most
distant part of Calabra merely for the pleasure
of once seeing his new sovereign. In the ex-
citement of his emotion the old man exclaimed,
"Ah sire, now that have seen you, you may
die ~
, 1864-10-07

ABOUT So.-That observing and philosophi-
cal historian, Diedrich Knickerbocker, makes
the following remark "a cunning politician
is often found skulking under the clerical robe, :.
with an outside all religion and an inside all DO
litical rancOr. Things spiritual and things tenn
poral are strangely jumbled together, like poi
sons and antidotes on an apothecarys shelf; and
instead of a devout sermon, the simple church
going people have often a political pamphlet
thrust down their throats labelled with pious
text from Scripture"
, 1864-10-07

SHARP.-An individual advertised in a morn
ing paper for a wife the other day, and request
ed each applicant for the situation to enclose her
carte de Ujsite One of the correspondents closed
her reply in these terms :--'I do not enclose my
"carte, for, though there is some authority for
putting a cart before horse, l know of none
for putting one before an ass.''
, 1864-10-07

Dutchman being called upon to help pay
for lightning rod for the village church, to-
ward the building of which he had very literally
subscribed, exclaimed 81 have helped to build
a house to de Lord, and if he chooses to donder'
on it, and knock it down, he musht do it at his
own riskP'
, 1864-10-07

William Penn and Thomas Story once shell
tered themselves from shower of rain in to-
bacconist's the cross-grained owner of which
said to them, "You enter here without leave
Do you know who am? am justice of the
peace" To which Story replied, 'AIy friend
here makes such things as thee-he is Governor
of Pennsylvania"
, 1864-10-07

What poor world this would be without
women or newspapers-how would thenews get
about7
, 1864-10-07

The Oswego Times wants to know "if man
has torticollis, anchylOss of the radicus, paral-
yzation of the tier aterito ad quartem ventricu-
lum of the layater labli superioss aliquinasi,
and besides does not feel very well himself
whether he would be exempt from the draft 2"
, 1864-10-07

POLITICAL DEVELOPMENTS The n. Y. Herald
which may be regarded as well posted up in the
affairs Of the Republican party makes the fol-
lowing statement
"Eyents and circumstances have transpired
since the visit Of ex-Secretary Chase to this city
which throw considerable light upon the inner
workings of the republican party II is report
ed that Mr.. Chase asserted that, had he known
before he left the Treasury Department what he
now knows, he would not have resigned but
forced Lincoln to turn him out, or secured his
defeat through the machinery of the Treasury
Department. 1t now appears that there is a for
midable movement in the republican party, in
augurated and pushed forward by the Chase
men, to secure the defeat Of Old Abe at the
polls next November. This movement is likely
to prove as effective as amy that could have been
carried out through the Treasury Office
The Herald adds, ''when prominent men of
the republican party are heard to openly express
the hope that the rebels will enter Washington
and capture Old Abe, and this disafection ex-
tending to the rank and file of the party, it is
time for him to consider that his case is hope.
less, unless he changes his cabinet and does
something for his country besides telling smutty
stories.
, 1864-10-07
nR. JIM, A. M. M. D., PHYSICIAN AND

nR. JIM, A. NJ. M. d., PHYSICIAN AND
- Surgeon-Graduate of the Imperial Medical In
stitute of China and formerly resident Surgeon of
the Imperial Hospital for men, women and children
in the City of Canton, China. The public may rest
assured that cases of disease and sickness committed
to his professional care whether in town or at a dis
tance in the country, shall receive his unremitng
attention. with every advantage that his skill and ex
perience can afford. He returns his thanks to the
citizens of the cityand the county of Waa Wala for
their former very liberal patronage Office on Main
street. opposite Captain Jacks Empire Restaurant.
Office hours from A. NJ. to II and from l P. NJ to
6PM.
The best Family Medicines always on hand Give
me a call and try my medicines then you can speak
for yourselves. Junel7, 1868. 27m3
, 1864-10-07

rampant female Secesh discovered vile
Yankee surreptitiously purloining pair of fat
chickens. Terribly incensed at t4s wanton
robbery and gross violation of the rights of
personal property, she made bold onslaught,
but regret to say that all her expostulations
failed to convince the demoralized and hungry
"mudsil" that he was SHINING; for he replied
Madam, this accursed rebellion must be crushed
II 1t takes every chicken in Mississippi
, 1864-10-07

Tell not your secrets in a cornfeld, it has
thousands of ears.
, 1864-10-07
NUMBER A3.

The DAY AFTER MARRIAGE.-The departure of
son from beneath the paternal roof does not
present any spectacle of desolaton Masculine
life, has from infancy, an individuality and in
dependence, an egotism, so to say, which is es-
sentially wanting in female existence. When
son abandons his parents to create for himself
separate interest, this separation causes but lit
tie interruption in their mutual relations A
man marries, and still retains his friendships,
his habits, and his flial affections. Nothing has
changed in his life; it is only an additional tie
His departure is consequently a mere separation;
while the departure of young girl, to become
wife in few hours, is a real deserton-a de-
serton with all its duties and feelings still fresh
about it. In one word, the son is a sapling
which has always grown apart from the trunk,
while the daughter has, on the contrary, formed
an essential portion Of it, and to detach her
from place is to mutilate the tree itself You
have surrounded her youth with unspeakable
tenderness-the eXhaustless tenderness Of your
paternal hearts, and she, in return has appeared
to pour forth upon you both equally mex
haustible gratitude you loved her beyond all
the world, and she seemed to you with a pro-
portionate affection. But one day, one ill
omened day, a man arrives, invited and well
coined by yourselves, and this man of your own
choice carries off to his domestic eyrie your gem
tie dove, far from the soft nest which your love
had made for her, and to which hers had clung
On the morrow you look around you, you lis
ten, you wait, you seek for something which
you cannot find. The cage is empty; the tune
ful linnet has flown; silence has succeeded to
its melodiOus warbling it does not come as it
did on the previous morning, hutterng its per-
fumed wings about your pillow, and awakening
you by its soft caresses. Nothing remains but
a painful calm, painful silence, painful ycid.
, 1864-10-07

RECRUITING NEGRoEs.-A despatch from AL
bany says, Governor Seymour will not appoint
State agents to recruit in the Southern States
He does not believe this to be wise or practical
Bile. If cities or counties choose to pay boun-
ties and appoint agents for recruiting such SOL
diers they can do so, and the State authority
will give them such facilities as the act of Con-
gress directs.
To which the N. Y Herald responds
'Since Massachusetts has been filing up her
quota by sending agents to the South to pick up
stray negroes, many people have been asking
why New York should not do the same. The
reason is that we do not want to be represented
in the army by negroes. New York will not
sneak out Of her responsibility as Massachu-
setts has done She still has white men willing
to fight as Massachusetts, has not. But, say
the objectors, negroes will fill up our quota and
save white men from service. Yes; but we are
not anxious merely to fill our quota, but to end
the war; and white soldiers must do that if the
people want the war ended"
The Portland daily press., 1864-02-10

now held firmly at s35d26; clear 90 a0dg5. crime
19d20, and mess s22 O0a23 City smoked Hams are
firm at 12t9l3c. Beef remains quiet Dut very firm
at quotations.
RUM-Prices remain nominal at 95cG 81 90 ID gal
for Portland distilled, with more buoyancy towards
the close of the week.
SUGARS-The market has confined 10 rule quiet
and prices are steady at our quotations. which
continue to quote follows for crushed granulated
and powdered at 17dl7ic. Portland Sugars are held
firm and steady by the jobbers at 12lc for AA. and
1899 for Yellow. We have heard of no transactions
IN Box sugars during the week. and continue
quotations without change.
SALT-Continues to have a strong upward tend
ency. We quote Caglar and Turks Island 80 87j(g
at &c per box. fEI-F
| STARCH-Remans firm at recent advances and
| we continue to quote Pearl Sd9c and Potatoe 4SQ
! 4ic v ib.
| SEEDS-As the season advances there is a more
active inquiry for grass seed and prices are buoy.
ant We now quote Herds Grass S3a3 Is, and
| Red Top 00a3 % y bush, and Western Clover
\ l39l4c p ib. Canary and Linseed remain steady
at previous prices.
SPICES-we notice a slight decline for Cloves
and now quote 4ea47. Ginger remains firm and
steaey at recent adv ances and continue quo
tatons at 2Sd32c y ID; Cassa remains steady al 53
956; Pimento 2692sc; Nutmegs 0oal O5.
| SHOT-Have advanced in consequence of the
scarcity Of Pig Lead and are firm at lac for drop and
| 14i v ID for Buck.
| TEAS-The market remains quiet and unchanged
but firm at full prices with light sales ranging at
the following quotations. Choice Oolongs s4d
yc, and common do, 19aS4c; Souchong, Ankoi and
the lower grades continue to rule at about 59a87c
| fb.
| TOBACCo-Thc market remains quiet and steady
with but little doing. Both buyers and holders are
waiting future developments in regard to the proba
Bile increase of the excise tax. There is DISPOSE
ton on the part of holders to make any concession
at present. and purchasers are little dis osed to OPP
crate preferring to take the chances of the market
whatever the result may be- and there is firm feel
ing with regular dealerf.
| WOOD-Both hard and soft have been coming in
quite freely during the week, and prices area little
easier though with no actual decline from our quo
tations.
FRElGHTS-Cuba business continues to be quite
limited. Although about everything Is taken up as
soon as ready, there Is not much surplus tonnage
in port there has been for the past several weeks
| The following embrace shout all the engagements
for the week:-Sch windward, for Matanzas with
Box Shocks, at Zoe bark Dorcas G. Y eaton for Ha-
vana, with Lumber, at S6.5 " n, and Box shocks
at lse; brig Matilda out toa port North side and
back, at a. foreign and domestic charges paid bark
Orsini hence TO Buenos Ayres, with Lumber 10 NJ
at Sl3 y N in gold and balance of cargo at sl8 cur
| rency.
The Portland daily press., 1864-02-10
Extraordinary Instance OF Hero Worship

Extraordinary Instance OF Hero Worship.
Among the results OF the war in which we
are engaged, we have repeatedly been called
upon to recognize combinations of forces hith-
erto regarded as agonistic. The hard-shell
Democrat turned Abolitionist no longer ex-
cites establishment. We rather see in his zeal
the warmth of convert who cannot do too
much for the faith he has newly espoused.-
The zeal of converts is proverbial. They seek
to make up in devotion to the new cause for
their Shortcomings in the old.
An instance of this has recently occurred
here too striking TO pass unnoticed On re-
cent visit TO our city of that thrice eloquent
yndicator Of the rights of his down-trodden
race, Mr.. Fred. Douglass, it happened that he
attended worship at the First Parish Church,
and was shown by the usher into the pew or
dinarily occupied by a citizen who was for
merly postmaster under President Pierce
We are assured that the conversion of the pro-
prietor of the pew to belief in the rights Of
the race Mr.. Douglass represents, is as sincere
as it has been unknown-for shortly after the
service he caused lock to be put upon the
door of the pew, which has since been unoccu-
pied. ue
The height OF hero worship could hardly 60
further. The zeal of the ex-post-master is in
deed worthy of the church that believes in the
efficacy of images. The impression given to
his cushions by the superintendent pressure
of the escaped slave, seems to rival, In his es-
timation, the sanctity Of the image of the holy
face upon thesnapkin of Sta. Veronica, and he
has piously determined that it shall never be
effaced. Henceforth to the end of time it is
not probable that any other human being will
ever be allowed to sit in that sacred seat.
The Portland daily press., 1864-02-10
SIP 4 IAL TICE s.
Browns Bronchial Troches.

81 hare neuer changed my mind respecting them
from the drsf excepting to think yet better Of that
which began thinking toeH e.
Rev. HENRY WARD BKEoHER
The Troches are a STAFF Of life to me-"
Prof. EDWARD NORTH
Pres Hamilton College, Clinton, N Y
"For Throat Troubles they are a specific"
n. p. WILLIS.
100 fauo rally tnovn to need commendation'
Hon. CHARLES A. PHELPS,
Pres. Mass. Senate.
"Coatain no Opium nor anything injurious"
DIR. A. A. HAYES, Chemist, Boston
An elegant combination for Coughs"
DR.. u. BIGELow, Boston.
~ recommend their to Public Speakers
Rev. L. II. CHAPLIN.
Most salutary relief in Bronchifis.1
Rev. SEIGFEIED, Morristown, Ohio
VERY beneficial rhel suffering from Colds"
Rev s. j. Z. ANDERSON st. Louis
Almost Instant relief iR the addressing labor of
breathing peculiar TO asthma"
Rev. A. Z. EGGLEsToN, New York.
They hare suited my case erdcfly reliering mn
throat 50 HatI could sing nth ease
T. DUcHARME,
Chorister French Parish Church Montreal.
genuine"
Sold by all Druggists and Dealers IN Medicine in
the United States and most foreign countries at rs
ecnts per oox. febi dim
The Portland daily press., 1864-02-10
Statistics of Royalty.

A German almanac gives some interesting
statistics of the blood royal OF Europe. The
Oldest living sovereign is William, King OF
Wurtemberg, who is aged eighty-two. Next
comes Ferdinand of Hesse-Homburg, aged
eighty; Henry y-seventh-imagine the
long line of insignificant Henries who prece-
ded him prince Of the younger branch OF
Reuss, aged seventy-six; Leopold, King of the
Belgans, aged seventy-three, and the Pope,
aged seventy-one. Twenty-seeond, of the OIL
der branch of Reuss, aged seventeen, and the
newly-electd King of Greece, aged eighteen
For seniority of reign Duke Bernard Of Sake
Meiningen takes the palm, as he was made
duke in 1903, when three years old, and has
held his place ever since. Napoleon III. is
the sixteenth monarch In point of age, and
Queen Victoria the twenty sixth.