American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1864-07-20
WITT AND WISDOM.
TATTLING is mean.
LAZINEss is shameful.

| 1AElNESs Is sHdlleluls
VULGAR language is disgusting
PRoFANE swearing is abominable.
INscRIBE injuries on sand, and bene-
fits on marble.
A ROMANTIC young man says that a
womans heart is like the moon-it chang
es continually, but always has man init.
If you want to kiss pretty girl, why,
kiss her-if you can. If pretty girl
wants to kiss you, why, let her-like a
man.
If your lips would keep from slips, five
things observe with care-of whom you
speak, to whom you speak, and how, and
when, and where.
AN unromantic doctor says that tight
lacing is public benefit, inasmuch as it
kills off all the foolish girls, and leaves
the wise ones to grow to be women,
In a discussion with a temperance Ice
turer, topper asked " If water rots your
boots, what effect must it have upon the
coat of your stomach"
A SHREwD little fellow, who had just
begun to read Latin, astonished his mas
ter by the following translations: Iir, a
man; gin, trap-Virgin, man-trap.'
"IsN'T it strange" remarked lady,
81 that the Miss Smiths are so gross 2"
"Not at all, " was the reply, " their faith
er was a grocer"
A COUNTRY editor, praising success
full politician, called him one of the
cleverest fellows that ever lifted hat to
lady, or boot to blackguard."
AN author of love story, in desert
bing his heroine, says: Innocence dwells
in the dark clusters of her hair" An
unkind reviewer suggests that a fine-tooth
comb would bring it out.
THE love of country and devotion to
| lue uutloHdl CAUSE Is 1t Hdluldl luStlhCO vi
all true manhood. To attempt to violate
that instinct is to violate human nature in
its tenderest sensibilities.
&" IT is remarkable that you are always
forgetting my name," said quasi-ac-
quaintance named Flint.
!"Why," said Quilp, ait is a deuced
hard name to remember"
PRENTICE says girls will differ One
of them lately broke her neck in trying
to escape being kissed, and a great many
of them are ready to brake their nccks to
get kissed.
An Irishmau remarked to bis compan-
ion, on observing lady pass, " Pat did
you ever see so thin a woman as that?
"Thin," replied the other, "bothera- d"
shune, | have seen woman as thin as
two of her put together, | have"
THE following is taken from the report
of the proceedings of thJ Connecticut
Legislature L" Bill to tax geese and bach
elors. There is tax already laid upon a
goose, and any man who lived twenty-five
years without being married could be tax
ed under that section. The bill was post
poned."
A HoosIER paper contains an editorial
notice that marriages and deaths will not
be published unless authorized by some
known name, and prefers that they should
be delivered in person. 1t may be ex-
pedient, therefore, for those who wish
their obituary notices inserted, to hand
them in the day before hand
AN old topper who had attended some
polytechnic lectures, where the learned
professor caused number of explosions
to take place from gas produced from wa
ter, said -
"You don't catch me putting any wa
ter in my Ticker after this. l hadn't any
idea, before, that water was so dangerous,
though | never liked to take much of i"
A YOUNG lady of extraordinary capa-
city, addressed the following letter to her
cousin -
1--WE is all well, and mothers got the
his Terrix brother Tom is got the HUI
pin Kaugh and sister Ann has got ba-
bee, and hope these few lines will find
you the same Rite sune. Your aphec-
tionate kuzzen.
A LADY with her husband, visited the
camp of the Michigan Sharpshooters at
Camp Douglass. What does NJ. S. S..
on the caps mean ?" said she. Her spouse
said, knowing no better, that it meant
Manuscripts. The lady, suspecting a
shave on the part of her lord, indignant
ly replied
"Well, it's better to be manuscript
than.ccnscript, amt II"