Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1864-05-07
DEW.FLICKERs.


A CARD in country paper returns thanks
to clergyman, and his friends and neighbors
for $50 kindly assisting at the death and
burial" of the father OF the advertiser. This
is probably more than they meant to say. i
"Meister Godin used to gay as 'ow child
rem tosted sight O. money. 1t was all very
well whilst um was little, and zucked ze mod
er; but when um got pigger and PECAN TO
zuck ze fader, twas quite anoder ting"
mo one would take you for what you are"
said an old-fashioned gentleman, day or
two ago, to dandy, who had more hair than
brains. "Why." was Immediately asked.
"Because they cannot see your ears.
'I will forfeit my head if you are not in the
wrong" exclaimed warm and tall orator to
to President Montesquieu in an argument.
~ accept it." replied the philosopher, ''any
trifie among friends has value. = .'- E@
Parson Brownlow says that Noah was
radical, because he launched his ark and en-
deavored to keep up communication with
heaven, after all the Conservatives had taken
water!
There are three or four papers in the United
States that want the war to cease just where
it is, with no result whatever. They wish it,
like an old bachelor or maid, to "die without
ISSUE"
A PLATFORM The Democracy" are
squabbling about platform. Didn't the ass
once put on a lions skin to conceal his ma
ture and wasn't it still known by its 6ray9
"An attorney" says Sterne, "is the same
thing to barrister that an apothecary is to
hysician-with this difference, that your at
torney does not deal in scruples. -r
~ am astonished, my dear young lady, at
your sentiments you make me start.
"Well, Sir, I've been wanting you to start
for the last hour" r. .--a r..... ..r
Insects swarm around the parent nest, the
worm trails its length beneath its native turf,
the moth fingers in its own element, and the
world moves on. ..... r.. .a. .s.a. .. ..s
A hypocrite may spin so fair thread as to
cobweb, and not know himself to be the.
spider. ,... . .,.-..
Condemned muskets are so common in
contracting circles nowadays that there is
no longer truth in the maxim "as sure as
gun" &c.,. $780,. .-.......... .....f..
Why do the recriminations of married cou-
Piles resemble the sound Of waves on the SEA-
shore? Because they are murmurs OF the
tied. .'
He who thinks he can do without others is
greatly mistaken; and he who thinks others
cannot do without him is still more so.
An exchange declares "that girls who arn't
handsome hate those who are, while those
who are handsome hate one another. ra.t..
Generally, as soon as man is supposed to
have little money, his wife gets too lame to
walk, and must have carriage.
DR.. Snooks was advised to get his life in
sured. "Won't do it" said he: "it would be
my luck to live forever if should"
People turn their noses up at this world as
If they were in the habit Of keeping company
with better one. .....
Why are decayed teeth like public lands !
Because you can get rid OF them for about
dollar an dcher. w ..,....
4 contemporary says naval contractors seem
to think this is the time to build vessels Of
iron-and steal.
FLATrERY should never be permitted to
sit in the parlor, nor plain dealing be kicked
out Of doors.
Live things are more current in the COM
munity than dead things-for instance, news
papers. ....,.7 ... ... - .--r-a .. .u ,.a
The Emperor issues his manifestoes; the
beggar manifests his toes without shoes.
Nan should bestow Love to one, Friend
ship to a few, and Goodwill to all.
Army contractors are sometimes ambushed
enemies who lie in weight. .......
"You be hanged" as the washerwoman
said to the clothes. a.. .r...a.
Our Constitution-May its unquiet foes find
rest in halter. ...r