Burlington free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1827-1865, 1864-09-23

CUsroV KING OF ENoIsH.-The London
Atheneun thus happily "takes OFF, the
sway OF custom in our language
The principal advisers OF King Custom are
as follows: First, there Is Etymology, the
ciifonnier, OF general rag merchant, who
has made such fortune OF late years in his
own business that he begins 10 he considered
highly respectable lie gives advice which
Is more thought of than followed, partly on
account of the fearful extremes INTO which
he runs. lie lately asked some boys Of six
teei;, al a matriculstiUn examination in ER-
qbsh. to what branch Of the Indo-Germanic
family they felt inclined 10 refer the PushtO
language, and what changes in the force
of the letters took place in PASSING from
Greek into M0tsb-Guthlc. Because ali syl-
lablcs were once words he Is little inclined
to Insist that they shall be 50 still lie
would gladly rule English with Saxon rod,
which might be permitted with certain
discretion which he has never attained; ana
wi en- opposed he defends himself with the
analogIcs Of the Arysn family until those
who hear hlm long tor the discovery OF an
Athanasvus. tie will transport word he
yond seas-he is recorder Of RhemsJOpOhs
on circumsta ntlal evidence which looks ike
mystery gone mad but, strange % ray'
something very often comes % light after
sentence passed which hroves the sOundness
OF the conviction.
The next adviser is Logic, swearing old
Justice Of peace, quorum, and rotullrum,
whose eIcesses brought on such a Fl OF The
gout that for many years Re WAS unable TO
move. lie is now NEEDING, and his friends
say he has shown his wild oats. He has
some influence with the educated subjects OF
Custom, and will have more, if hc Tan learn
the libe at winch interference ought TO stop.
with them he has succeeded in making an
affirmative Of two negatives; but the vulgar
won't never have nothing TO say 10 him.
lie has always raIled at Milton Tor writing
that Eve was the iairest Of her daughters
but has never satisfactorily shown what Nil
ton ought to have said instead.
The third adviser has more influence with
the macs OF the subjects % King Custom
than the other two pat together; hIs name
Is Fiddle iaddie. the t0y-sh0p keeper ana
the other two put him forward To do their
worst work. In return he often usts their
names without authority. He took Etymo-
lcgy to witness that means 10 an end must
bcplural; and he would have any one method
to be d neGn. But Etymology proved him
wrong. Custom referred him 70 hI- catecl-
ism, IN which is "a means Whereby we
receive the sane, ," and Analogy subordi-
nate of Etymology y-ssked whather he
thought it great nelo 70 hear rhat he was
wrong. 1t was either this Eiddle-iaddle, or
Lindley Murray his traveller, vino persuad-
ed the Miss Sllpslops. OF the Ladie7' Sem
mary, 10 put The MISSES SlpslJp' over
f, Ia
called at all the girls school and got many
Of the teachers TO insist Oh their pupils say
ing is 1t not" and Can | not for
Isn't it" and Cant | - OF which 1t came
that the poor glrls were dreadtully laughed
at by their irreyerent brothers when they
went home for the holidays. Had this bad
adviser not been severely checked, he might
by this time have proposed our saying "Ihe
Quene's Of England son, declaring, IN
the name OF Logic, that the Prince was the
Queen : son, not England's.
Lastly, there is Typography the metallur-
gist. an executive officer who Is always AT
work in secret, and whose lawless mode Of
advising is often done by carrying his no
ti1ns into effect without leave given. lie
It is who never ceases suggesting that the
same word Is not to occur in a second place
within sight OF the hrst. W hen tie au-
orized version was first printed, he began
tbs trick at the passage, LET there be
light, and there was Light he drew line
on the proof under the second light, and
wrote "llmunoafy?" opposit. He Is strong
est in the punctuations and other signs he
has pepper-box full of commas always by
bis side. He puts everything under marks
OF quotation which be has ever heard before.
An earnest preacher, in a very moving
sermon, used the phrase Alas and alack a
day 1yp,graphy stuck up the inverted
commas because he had read the only Anglo
Indian toast, "A lass and lac day" 1t
any one should have the sense u leave out
ut nis Greek the unmeaning scratches winch
they call accents. he goes to a lexicon and
puts them in. He is powerful IN routine
/ but when two routines lnterlace or overlap,
/ frequently takes the wrong one.
Subject to bad advice, and sometimes
mislcd for season, King Custom gees on
his quite way, and Is sure TO be right at last.
Treason does never prosper what's the ressont
/ Why, when it prospers. none dare oallittreason.