, 1864-02-13
Total

PIcoulH PIIOHS III IeSdTu 10 Tue CIeuullIy VI
men are daily INDUCED in-that each foot of
these one hundred thousand is worth one
thousand dollars Upon this basis we will
proceed to organize mining company to be
called
THE GREAT SNAKE RIVER WILDCAT COM
POUND CONSOLIDATED sWINDLE AND
K BLK, GOLD, SILVER, COPPER, &C., MIN
ING COMPANY.
Capital Stoch-$1OO, 900, Divided
into one hundred thousand shares of one
thousand dollars each.
We will then proceed to nominate officers
and board of trustees, all of whom are men
that "have much influence with capitalists,
and who are not entirely destitute Of money
themselves.
The next step will be to engage in the
project persons in all the varied pursuits of
life, commencing with his Emaciated Mill
tary Necessity, Old Abe; to whom we will
give one hundred shares.
To the Hon e. NJ, Stanton, Secretary of
War, whose war-despatches have gained him
the unique reputation of being "the biggest
liar in the world" fifty shares. Of he can
manage to do as well by us as be did by a
certain quicksilver company he is cheap at
FIVE hundred shares
To ten leading daily newspapers, ten
shares each. Each Of these papers must
have a job-ofice, and no charges must be
made, for printing FOR the company. Lead
ing articles in its favor must be written once
week
To ten popular fashionable preachers, five
shares each. Preachers will be expected to
demonstrate, from the pulpit, once month,
that the compaly's mining-ground is the
identical Ophir of King Solomon, and the
exact locality from whence the gold is to
come to pave the streets of the New Jerusa-
lem.
To H. W. Screecher, the great Babbleition
preacher ten shares. Screecher will be ex-
pected to preach occasionally on this sub
iect, "The Development Of the Great Snake
River wildcat &c. &c. Company's Mines
indispensable to the preservation of the
Union, the elevation Of the Slave and the
teaching Of Whites their places" also, "On
the regeneration of mankind by quartz-rock
speculatons," and "Ihe moral excellence Of
rich gold-mines."
To Mrs H. Screecher's Toe, ten shares.
She must write book, entitled "The poor
Miners Cabin; Or life in the Quartz Mines"
The drift of this book must be to prove that
the happiest state Of existence is to own
about ten shares Of our company's stock.
To'Horace Queerleigh, the great vegeta-
rian Babbleition editor, five shares. Queer
leigh must prove that the Temperance Bah
bleition and vegetarian reforms can never
thoroughly succeed until everybody engages
in quartz mining. If he does advocate this
view of things, it will not be the least SEN
sible thing he has ever undertaken in his
life
To the Hon. Judge Number Nine, ten
shares. He must write biographical notices
of the leading members Of the company, to
be published in San Francisco paper
To Herr Won Lagerswiper, Nate fancer Of
trained Canary birds and white mice, but
now the eminent Clutch General" in the
army of the Potomac-fve shares His in-
fuence with the Teutons will be valuable.
To Hercules Blatherskite O'Blunderbus,
late of Bally y-blow enough Hail. Ireland, but
at present engaged in a small retail trade in
intoxicating liquors in San Francisco ten
shares. O'Blunderbuss claims to be de-
scended from Patrick Sarsfeld, Earl of Tu-
can, and his influence is valuable with the
Irish.
To the Great Hungry Patriot, Louis Kos
suth, fifty shares, 70 be devoted to the re-
generation of Hungary.
To the Great Robert j. Davis, fifty
shares, to furnish him the means of drag
aing out the remainder of his miserable ex-
stence, in the obscure character Of an exile
to Patagonia, after this wicked rebellion is
squelched.
To j. P Benjamin, ten shares He is
requested to 20 into the sheep cloding bus
mess, when the rebellion is quashed, and
his present occupation is gone.
TO the Hon. Salmon P Chase, fifty
shares. He will be expected to make
quartz-rock a legal tender, and then every
body will have "a pocket full of rocks
from our mines.
To Aaron Moses, the great Jewish fnan-
cier, fifty shares. Moses must furnish the
protector of the scheme-thats me-with
money for my personal needs.
To Peter Plug-ugly, late of Baltimore,
the eminent CROUCH" five shares. Peter
must clam" all who doubt the richness Of
our mines
To the celebrated pugilist Peelem O'Mug
ten shares. Peelem will be expected to
thrash any body who may make inyidious
remarks about the protector Of this scheme
This list of worthless might be indefinitely
extended, but you can gain faint idea of
the means we shall use to make the specu-
lation successful. But before dropping the
subject must state
THE SCOPE OF THE ENTERPRISE.
The Great-Snake- River wildcat &C.
Gold, Silver, Copper, &C. Mining Company,
propose, first, to take the waters of Snake
River from their natural channel above the
American Falls; from thence they will dig
canal to the proposed site of their vast
ouartz-orushinU.Uold- d--silver--&c--extrac