Green-Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1844-1884, 1864-09-13

Married couples retemble pair of shears, 50
oined that they cannot be separated often NOV
ing in opposite directions, yet always Furnishing
a any one who comes between them.
Wheua prolr clergyman had prayed the
House out Of patience, few mornings since, 4,
a wag left bis seat, shoIled o,er to that Of a
member who is somewhat famous for applying
the gag to debate and whispered In bis ear
Cyuldo.t you ob!ige us once more BY moving
the previous question
Pupch's plan to avoid collisions and other
accidents on railroad, is to set a president of
the road, or q director or two on the O. ca tcher
of every locomotive.
The reason why good many men don't get
married is because they are afraid to come to the
scratch
late French writer says that the Bostonians
are much like his own couDtrymen, polite,
cJurteous, and lovers Of frogs and that they
have ii pond in the middle Of public garden,
which Is kept for the purpose Of supplying the
city with these animals.
While preaching funeral discourse, recently
the mInister--who has lost by interpositon OF
Divine Providence, three wives, and now has
the iourth--thus eloquently said to the mourn.
ers-"And nv dear friends Goo sends this trouble
upon you for wise purpose. There joy,a
luxury, IN such Affections, as can testify from
personal experience The soul which can gath
er luxuries from such great affections, must
ineed be happy--each succeeding dispensaton.
OF course, bringing a sweeter calm to the acer-
ated heart.
A peasant being at confession, sccused him
self Of having stolen some hay the father con-
iessor asked him how many bundles he had tiken
from the stack ? " That is Of no consequence.
replied the peasant, you may put it down q
wagon load, for my wife and me are going to
fetch the remainder very soon"
The heavy taxes are greatly decreasing the
the consumption Of tobacco. A New York cal
culrtIon Is that halt the smokers have stopped.
All anti tobacco lrask's eloquence, poured out
ior half century, could not do what year Of
war taxes has done in this way The pocket
appeal Is ten times more potent than the head.
A lew days ago British officer in unifvrm
went to visit the Kearsarge in the port Of Deal
in England, and on stepping on board said in
JokIng way to the yankee sailor who presented
'i iho w hih nv tho knub"ny cuPkooo tiio
Is the first time you we're ever boarded by an
Eoglishman v" Oh, no, sir, said the sailor,
' we were boarded by sixty the other day at
Jherbourg."
man, brought few days since to trial in
France for the murder OF his wife and mother
n-lsw, put in quite new plea. Remember
VI NJ. les Jures. said the man who defended
himself" that am fifty years old, was married
Iery early, and my wiie's mother never lefs US;
md yet have never done this before" The
were not considered sufficiently
and the jury found the prisoner
,uily.
The head OF a turtle, for several days after
Is separation from the body, retains and exhib.
Is animal lille and sensation. An lrlshmap had
ecapItated one, and some days aitera ards was
musing himself by putting sticks inlo its mouth
which It bit with violence
A lady who saw the proceeding exclaimed
Why, Patrick, | thought the turtle was dead =
30 be is, ina am, but the crather's not sensible
( it,"