American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1864-06-29
WIT AND wIsDoM.
think of ease but work on.


RICHES are but the baggage of fortune
BUsYBoDIEs never have anything to do
MEN are but the dust of the earth, and
the storms Of war lay the dust.
A WIT asked peasant What part he
played in life?" II mind my own bust
ness"
Many men and women have sad occa-
sion to know that two do not necessarily
make pair.
"WELL, my boy, do you know what
syntax means ?" said school-master to
the child of teetotaler. Yes, sir; the
duty upon spirits
AN able Psychologist has written that
one-ffth Of the human body is composed
of phosphorus. Punch remarks, that
most likely accounts for the number of
matches.
SWIFT said that the reason a certain
university was learned place, was, that
most persons took some learning there,
and few brought any away with them,
so it accumulated.
If you see miserly hypocrite praying
on Mount of Ulives, probably he is
about to build an oil-mill up there; if
weeping by the brook Kedron, you may
conclude he is about to fish for crabs.
A DYspEPTrc old hypochondriac makes
the following piteous inquiry:
..We have great cabbages, great goose
berries, great balloons, great crinoline pet
ticoats, great bulls, pigs and calves; but,
tell me, where are our great men ?"
A VERY religious old lady being asked
her opinion Of the organ of church, the
first time she had ever seen or heard one,
replied
1t is pretty box of whistles; but,
oh it's an awful way of spending the
Sabbath.
" IT is impossible, said one politician
to another, " to say where your party ends
and the opposition party begins" !"
Well, sill" replied the other " if you
were riding jackass, it would be impos-
sible to say where the man ended and the
donkey began"
A CoNsCRIPT thus relates his expert
ence: Gas soon as | heard that was
drafted | went up stairs on double quick
to inspect my pile After scraping all
my available funds together, L found that
l lacked just two hundred and ninety
eight dollars of having enough to pay my
Communication"
WHEREVER I 60, said gentleman,
remarkable for his State pride, "I am
sure to find sensible men from my own
State"
"No wonder" said the gentleman he
was addressing, "for every man OF that
State who has any sense, leaves it as fast
as he can"
A LADY made call upon friend who
had lately been married. When her hus-
band came home to dinner she said,-
81 have been to see Mrs. -"
WE'LL" replied the husband, 81 sup
pose she is very happy"
Happy? l should think she ought
to be, she has camePs hair shawl two
thirds border"
CROWDED. Mother, where is the man
going to sleep" asked girl of fifteen of
her mother, who had just promised trav-
eler nights rest in their out of the way
hut.
"I'll have to put him in with you and
Jack and Kate and Sue and Bet, l sup
pose," was the reply, " and if its too crowd
ed one of you must turn in with me and
dad and Dick and the twins"
AN Englishman and Yankee we're
disputing, when the former sneeringly re-
marked -
" Fortunately the Americans could go
| no farther than the Pacific shore"
The Yankee stretched his prolific brain
for az instant, apd thus replied
"Why, good gracious! they are alrea-
dy leyelling the Rocky Mountains and
carting the dirt out West. had letter
last week from. myscousin who is living
two hundred miles west of the Pacific
shore, on made land"