The daily dispatch. [volume] (Richmond [Va.]) 1850-1884, 1864-03-30

eyes, and glides away. If you have feed him, or
you look good naturedy, and he thinks you will
fee him, or ne has taken fancy to you he speedily
returns with tray full Of oval white dishes, con-
tatning the yiands you have orderfsi
II ne does not care much about yous or Is en-
crossed IN attending to regular buarder who has
oloed him 10 De attentive all through the winter
months, you may have 10 walt many minutes -
perhaps haf an h"ur-bef0re you obtain anything
at an; ae8 then very probably The waiter has been
oo'iviome, nd brings you the wrong things There
~ IN aE cases, one peril against which the stranger
should be warned. Order but few dishes aud you
are iost. The negro will put you Down as 'mcan
cuss,' g one horse" sort OF person, and syste-
maucaIly neglect you> But order half the dishes
entertain 40 exaggerated notion OF your Importance,
and almost fly to execute your commands.
AGooD sT0RH.
The first time bTeakfasted at Wiilari's [ said
mOGestly, that | should like cup Of tea, some
dry toast, an egg, and little toasted bacon. 1t
conteMptuous look, and that he retired from my
presence In a very slow and superstitfOus manner.
waited, and waited and waited, but tea, no
toast, no egg, TO bacon came. There was sitting
opposite to me dapper ,.ttIe man with a large
beard and embroidered shirt front, with diamond
studs, cut velvet vest, and pea jacket. "Here,
you, ne cried 10 the nearest EthiOp, s'bring me
some fried oysters, some stswcd oysters, some ten
dc,loin steak and onions, some scrambled eggs,
pork outlets, some fish balls, some dipped toast,
some Graham bread, soma mashed turnips sonie
cold ham, some buc kwheat cakes, some hot coffee,
and soms blanc mango Tve paid my money, and
by - mean to see the show ~
The only way to get on in America il, having
once paid your money, to insist seeing the show.
Ii you don't the people will think you are mean
spirited, and trampe on you. See il; the show
have the animals stirred up with the long poIs;
pinch the spotted girl see If II is real aesh
only tights she has on; pick the kangarOo's pouab;
make the pelican bleed again tor your qualification
You have paid your money, don't be imposed upon,
hali0o with stringent voice; curse and swear In a
land where execratiOns rife /; bras louder than
The greatest braggadocios in the world If need be
le--!:e with lace Of brass and lungs OF leather !;
crack up YOUR own country, 10 the detriment of all
others; vow that we won the battle of Funtenuy ;
swear that Peter Morrison was the greatest phap
thr0pist OF the age: declare that Mr.. Roebuck is
ninety feet high II a man spits on your boot spit
on his wais.coat and then 'guess that you did not
aim low enough"
IL you find MS letters lying about, read them if
he tells you anything IN confidence e. publish it in
newspaper; keep on moving; 60 ahead; 20 Into
business; smash; recupera.e; drink with every
body; talk dollars from sinrise to midnight. DO
thiS, and the Americans Will admire you, and you
may admire them They will say you are "sIilart
man" and at last you VIII be spoken of as ssrs
markable' man. But if you pay your money and
DONE walk up to the booth; If you nervous and
not ahashed. If rudeness pains and bestial man
ners disgust you, il you strive to substitute tenn
unhal proof for 1mpudent assertions; If you tell the
truth and are modest aud n gentleman-you can
never hope for success In this young, adventurous
ana astonishing country. You had better "ciear
QUIZ bc:0re you are 'run out" You ha1 better 90
nome by the next Cunard steamer for YOU are
clearly not fitted for the Institutions ana people of
the United States.