The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1864-03-02
a MINNESOTA wEDDrras

In the Eemi-rnral dishict of Ninona, on
the Minnesota side of the Mississippi river,
lives jolly fellow, Justice of the peace;
whose ideas of matters are nach like the cur
rent OF the deep river-once started in any
direction it is hard to turn them. One day
Lately, after ssthe l0y Law dispensarys had
been swept, the chairs set in s;shoft row
against the side of the Office, and several whip
ped guilds of tobacco and mutilated cigar stubs
had been kicked under the stoYe, there was q
wooden step ON the stair ald vigorous knock
on the door. 5 s11ss .sfIs -
"Come In, !" said .he Justice, ~ he bsttled
into the legal look betting man Of Law, du-
~ elected to dispense the faysrs of blind god
dess. 81 - =.
stout woman entered. She had on d short
woolen dress, wooden sole shoes, sported red
cheeks, black hair and eyes that snapped like
lock Of q shot gun. With Portuguese ae-
cent, and in the worst possible English,
said: -. -
eyes, madam be seated.s = 2 I
"Want paper Want paper to take man. -
Just then stout French half breed sniersd
the room. He was unable to speak ., half
dozen words of English, and looked either
scared or bashful. The Judge at once saw thaf
there was marriage to come of, and said To-
the woman who stosd with acomprsassd lips
watching the justice at the doorssa uss:sa
Want to take this man 7',f - sssiIs 80
"Yes, want paper. Ne teach him. fNis4
woman, thought the Justice j he no good
man. Me take him quick as can. kisa Z. .
"All right, my covies- six you In . jerk oRnf
zud AEfl 3 =. = ---------TT---7 z =
her I" - -
The man shook hi. head and nsssrsa min,
@Ah, see Cant ..ll EaslisA wen
He ran into the street. and invited z few
friends up stairs, and on returning With them
..Yon want to take this nan for bssssr or
for worse 7" '%ss - i.
"Yes.,me want to take him. Hs pay.r =.
t'Ali right. M Then turning to the mas,
who stood trembling: -. 80
"You take this woman for better or :,
worse. and promise to keep her." etc. for
"Ugh," and nod of the head. :,
.Then, in the name Of the Law, and by vir-
ture of the authority in me vested, I pronoune,
you man and wife, and he stepped forward
be fore the vomsn could say . word and Kissed
her red lips. ~
Slap came her hand in his face. and she
elutched his hair The new husbaad jumped
in to take the woman away. to protect ker as
the justice supposed, when in self preservation
he hit him rap on the nose~ The woman
pitched into the new husband, who in rsturn
pitched into her, and for about fifteen minutes
there was general hustling. -
At last the parties were separated, when
the man and woman took another turn and
the blood and hair few In all directions.--.
Down went the stove, over went tho table,
clatter went the chairs, and into the street,
like madman, went the justice, with . blask
eye, and the bosom of HE shirt locking like
warranty deed covered with red seals. Ny
A crowd rushed up stairs and found the
man and woman lying on the fcor, hugging
each other like young bruins, and their arms
and legs mixed up worse than tomato WINS. :.
The newly married couple we're separated. 7
when, through the aid Of two interpretsrs, -it
was discovered that the night before, the%par-
ties, occupying adjoiaing shanties in lhe low
er part of the town. had got into quarrel
over stove pipe which wos claimed by beth,,
and from words they came TO blows zach
party hurried to the Justices Office In the;
morning for warrant for the other, and the
result had been that our Justice had bnekled-
them together as man and wife. Perhaps
the punishment was merited, but the belliger-.
ents couldn't see it, and went in ssanch Of ans
other Justice TO unnarry them, while the gcnsr
eral cansc of their terrible sqnabble was bath
ing his bungsd eye in eanphor and whisky.