The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1864-02-17

H-We are not aware that any Of our
readers are in love, nor do we know that ::
they were in that awful fix they have any
desire to be cured, but as it is usual in
this paper to publish remedies for various
. ills and as some of our bachelor friends
may be pining in secret over the loss OF
hope and failure of the lady to come to
time during the bissextile year, we throw
out the. following quaint cid paragraph from
motives Of the purest philanthropy
CURE FOR LOvE.-Recommended to take
twelve ounces of dislike, one pound of re-
solution, two ounces of powder of expert
ence, large sprig Of time, fourteen drains
of the quiet of dishonor, one quart of the
cooling water Of consideration. Set them
over gentle fire of love, sweeten it with
the sugar of forgetfulness, skim it with the
spoon Of melancholy, put it to the bottom
Of your heart, cork it with the cork of
sound conscience, and then let it remain,
and you will instantly find ease, and can
be restored to your right senses again.
cary, at the house Of Understanding, next
door to Reason, in Prudent street, in the
parish Of Contentment.
Who saw the Steer.
The richest thing of the season, says the
Newburyport Herald, came off the other
day in the neighborhood of the market.
The greenest Jonathan imaginable, decke ed
out in slouched hat, a long blue frock,
and pair of cowhide shoes, as big as gon-
dolas, with huge whip under his arm,
stalked into billiard saloon, where half
dozen persons were improving the time in
trundling round the worries and after re.
covering from his first surprise at the Ito
HIM singular aspect OF the room, inquired
if any of 'em had seen stray steer atfir-
ming that "the blasted critter got away as
he came through town with his drove 10th
er day and hadn't seen nothin' of him
since The bloods denied all knowledge
of the a nimal in question, and with much
sly winking at each other, proceed to con-
dole with him on his loss in the most heart.
felt manner. He watched The game with
much interest, as he had evidently never
seen or heard Of anything Of the kind
before, and created much amusement
by his demonstrations of applause when
good shot was made-"Jerusalem T. being
favorite ejaculation. At last he made
bold to request the privilege Of trying his
skill, when he set the crowd in a roar by
his awkward movements. However he
gradually got his hand in, and played as
good as might be expected for greenhorn.
All hands now began to praise him, which
so elated him that he actually began to
think himself second Phelan, and he of
f.rcd to bet a dollar with his opponent:
which, of course, he lost.
The loss and the laugh so irritated him
that he offered to play another game and
bet two dollars, which he pulled out of a
big roll-tor it seems his cattle bad sold
we'll and he was quite flush. This bet he
also lost, as the fool might have known he
would; mad as March hare he pulled out
Fifty-spot, the largest bill he had and Of
icred to bet that on the game. The crowd
mustered roahd and raised money enough
to cover it, and at it they went again: by
some strange turn of luck, Greeny won.
He now offered to put up the hundred he
had won against another hundred game so
they could now win back what they had
lost and fleece the fellow of his own roll
besides. They sent for famous player,
who had happened to have money enough
to play With, and another game was played
which Johnathan bet and won. Another
hundred was also raised and won; and it
was not until he had blundered through
half a..dozen games, and by some unaccount
able run Of luck, won them ali, drained the
pockets Of his opponents of about four
hundred dollars, that they began to smell |
very large 'mice." When everybody got
tired of playing, Gawky pulled his frock
over his head, took his whip under his arm,
and walked quietly out, turning round at
the door, and remarking, Gentlemen, if
you should happen to see anything of that |
steer, wish you would let me know" At
last accounts they had not seen the steer,
but they had come to the conclusion that
they saw the Elephant