Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1864-04-03

All Sorts Of Shorts.
GRoa will soon be costly luxury-too
&. serious matter to many to be called
'1smile."
In our armies, there are Majors that are
minors. and orderlies that are disorderly.
- CHINESE sheep imported into Vermont
have proved prolifc-in mutton.
EVERY time man visits "free concert
cellar in Broadway, he plunges inoO the
depths of a-basement-and no mistake'-
Exchange.
A corEMPoRARY says, corn whisky at
three dollars per gallon is tearfui 10 con-
template. And to drink.
GEN. WILSON says the country is gong
TO ruin for want of soldiers, and Mr.. Alley
says it is going to ruin for want oil TAXA
tiOn.
WE understand that President Lincoln
never walks out now. Well, 1t isn't at all
necessary forhim to stretch his legs.
In Edward the First's Expense Book,
there is. an item of -four hundred and
half eggs for Easter, eighteen pence" Alas!
the same number would now cost some
fourteen dollars.
MAJOR General Sickles and his friends
have undoubtedly come to grief In trying to
wear the laurels of Gettysburg.
TT isn't so much question whether SOL
-diers should be allowed to vote as whether
. they should be employed to keep other peo-
pie from voting. rfrf-f,r .aurE
A PARIS letter writer is brute enough TO
speak of the new Empress of Mexico as
round shouldered and not at all handsome.
A WAC rose from his bed on the 3lst OF
last August, and exclaimed: This is the
last rose of summer" Shocking! aiase
THEpeople have elected Presidents hither-
to. some think that Mr.. Lincoln means 10
elect ninIseif-a poor President and poor
constituency. tihhtT
AN association of oystermen has been
formed in Philadelphia. 1t will be the oe-
casion of many broils and stews probably. .
AN agreement for prize fight may be
considered contract for ''pound" OF flesh.
n, WEsuppose that many of those who dis
pense the loaves and fishes be called
1oafers and fishmongers. tt 4
sreAr the Fair in New York the married
ladies will bedistinguished by black aprons,
the unmarried by white. California and
other widows by aprons hemmed with yell
low.
A SKowHEGAN, Me-. hen has laid an egg
~ inches in circumference. ,r
!. A WASHINGTON letter says tax bills do not
slide as easily as appropriation bills. d
ALLfruit trees have military propensities.
When young, they are well trained; they
produce many kernels; and their shoots are
very straight.
Mr.. LovEJoY was very wealthy, owning
some of the finest farms in Illinois.
THE leading question-"What's the price
of butter?"
THE Illinois State Journal asks what is
thought in New Orleans of the Federal adj
ministration. Perhaps the people there
wouldn't like just now to tell. rM
JOHN +. POTTER of Wisconsin, is candi-
date for Chief of the Freedmen's Bureau.
That Potter wishes to have power over the
black clay. =. 80
THE California Legislature calls this ad-
ministration the instrument of the Al
mighty. Unquestionably the Almighty can
work with mighty mean tools.
TT Il said that Mr.. Lincoln, like man who
has takena huge dose of pills, complains
that he Is overworked. ~
THE smallpox has spotted some of our
people, and we suppose that the officers of
the draft win soon spot" q portion of the
rest. s
IN the Administration has restored Col.
Wolford TO the service of the country, we
hope that its next act will be to restore It
self to the true service Of the country. IL
has been out of that service long time.
THE Administration seems turning its
whole attention to mastering the niggers.
All its wits are wool-gathering.