Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1864-01-13
WHOLE NO. 2467.
He aosth . Skating.


Right beneath one of our Windows,
from morn till midnight, We see young
sters and oldsters twisting their legs in al
conceivable shapes, ska ing up and down
| the river, as .meTry as lambs. We cannot
pick up paper but an article on Ska
| ting" meets the eye. Everybody saws its
fun, aud that's all every body knows about
| It, for we've tried il. Last night about
gas-light time, after reading glowing
description of life on skates, we prepared
for our first attempt, and sailed forth to
ioin the merry crowd. We had on pair
of stoRs boots, trousers-legs tucked IN
side, and gave a boY-two shillings in good
coin of the realm fdY the use of his i'm
plements. We have confidence, even as
great as Peters faith. We, with the As-
sisEance Of q friend, fixed on the skatsss
and stood erect like BARRIERS pole. En-
coursged by the sight of some ladies on
che bridge, who were just then looking
at the skaters, We struck out. 4 slant 70
the right with the right foot, q slant 70
| the left with the left foot, and lust then
we saw something on the ice, and stopped
Lover to pick it upl On our feet again
two slants to the right and one to the left,
accompanied with q loss Of confidence
Another stride with the right foot, and
We sat down with fearful rapidity, and
very little il any elegance! What set
down it was, for We made dent in the
ice not unlike 3 Connecticut butter how'll
Just then one of the ladies remarked,
"0h, look, Mary, that feller with the
white hat hsiG't got his skates on the
right place W Ditto, thought we. Just
then s ragged little devil sung out, as he
glided past US, Halo, old timber legsl"
and We arose suddenly and put after
him, and away went our legs-one to the
east, the other west, causing an immense
assure IN our pants and another picture
OF butter-tray in the cold-ok, hor e0L9!-=
ice! Then the lady again spoke snd said,
oh, look, Mary, that chap with white
hat has sat down on his handkerchief to
keep from taking cold We rose about
IS graceful as a saw-horse, when Mary
said, Guess faint a handkerchief, Jane"
and Mary was right: Ii warn't q hand-
kerchief-not bit of it. Just then e
friend came along, and profsred as his
coat tail as S''steadier." We accepted the
continuation of his garment, and up the
river we went, about ten rods, when shy
to the right by the leader, caused us, the
wheel horse, to scoot off on tangent,
heels up. But the ice 5 very cold this ses-
sonl ei -.
We tried it again. a glide one way
a glide and half the other, when whaek
came our bump of philoprogenitiYeness on
the ice, and we saw millionof stars dam
cling around US, like ballet girls az the
Bowery Theatre. How that shock went
through our system. and up and down our
spinal column. Lightning couldn't have
aor Is n a n
with greater speed or more exhilarating
effect. clearinghouse butter nor war.
rantly deed could have struck stronger
than wa did-snd q dozen ladies looking
at us-snd our 6ssured pantsl
.Hallo, old coei<y' sang out that trsgged
imp again, and We there helpless. Soon
We got up and made another trial, with.
better success Perhaps We had sksted.
in our peculiar style, fifteen feet, when >
laundering chap came up behind, and We
sat down with our tired head pillousd in
his lap, and he swearing at as, when il
was all his faultt How cold the. ice was
there too. Every spot wlfere we made
our asbat on the ice, Oh how cold it wasl
Our bear-skin drawers were no protection
at all We tried again, for the papers all
say it's fun, and down came our Roman
Grecian nose on the cold juleP material
and the little drops of crimson ran down
our shirt bosom, and on to the cold ice.
Once more we tried skating-made for
the shore-sat down and counted daTna-
ges. Two shillings IN cash thrown away;
seven lateral and one ''frontersl" humps
on the ice; oue immense 1ssure in as hand
some pair of ten dollar csssimeres SIS
man ever put his legs in; one rupture in
tie knee, extending to the bone; four
buttons from our vest; afragnen ted watch
crystal, and bsek-sche big enough TO d.
vide among the Children of Israel.
IF you catch US On the smooth, CLASSY,
chilling, freezing. treacherous, 9eceitful,
slippery and siip-uppery ice again, you'll
know it. II any one ever hears Of our
skating again, they viii please draw on US
at sight for the bivalves and accompany
ng documents. We have got through
skating. It Is p humbug. lisa vexation
of spirit, of business, Of flesh. aud tearer
IF trOwsers. It's head humping. back
lehiDg. leg-wearying institution, and we
yarn people against skating. We tried
{. and shan't be able 10 walk for month.
skating clubs are humbugs. and all the
'ascaily youngsters wish 10 get the Indies
IS it, that they may see-if they, too don't
ay the ice is dreadfully oOld" It's moth
ng To US, but the ladies VIII do as well 20
ct skates alone, unless they are younger
nd more elastic than We are. 0h. how
old the ice i=-we can't fesl it ye,!-1fl-