Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1864-04-23

Where n NY wifss
A.orr..pono.G,:; -bo h.. 20. seen hi.
win fovar.hree weeks, asks the New Kork
H0fnd Table where she may be found
The-iady referred to has been seized with
the Sanitary Fair fever, and the poor hus.
band says: -..,.,. ..- <Ha
For. two mosahs che was ont most Of
the time calling upon persons to solicit
their aid for this most deserving charity;
and when she was at home l could get no
yhands 10 see her, for she Was overrun with
callers, each one having very important
Business. Bundles Of all shapes and sizes
bsgan 70 arrive. The garnet was long
since 6llsd with them, and the balance has
bssn stored in the back parlor. Bat my
wife was SO earnest (shs is positively be.
witching in her en.husiasm) that hadn't
the heart to refuse, so went to work and
helped carry the bundles in the house and
help store them where she wished. When
the job was finished was glad to retire,
though / bad not read my paper. My wife
lint have you seen.her? u j.. l.
This bereaved husband beard Of his
wife OF the. committee rooms aud else
where, but can't get sight Of her. The
poor fellow says:
have hung abousthe building in Four
teen,h street in hopes Of seeing her, but
in vain. Everybody has seen her. but
nobody can tell where she is. This week
have been about the new building now
erecting on Union Square, and have heard
of her time and again, but have not seen
her. Once I thought caught glimpse
of her dress whirling around the corner
Of Fourteenth street and Sixth avenue,
and started to run, but owing to The
effect of the wound received while was
in the army, had to give up the chase.
I got very much out of breath, too. Still
I would net have minded il so much if l
had only found my wife. Have you
eeen her?
am sure you have. Everybody has
except her husband. My friends meet
me and congratulate me so warmly on the
achievements Of my wife that can't help
hlusbiug with marital pride, and when l
inquire'if they have seen her, get the
same answer: Why, Of course we have.
She is everywhere. How very strange
tina. you have not met herr Well, sup
pose mus! give up all hopes of seeing
her til. tbs, fair is closed. Three weeks
tnore"wi,hcut a wife! Perhaps I'll meet
her at the fair bu: don't count much
upon that.
AN OUT. TRAVELLED TRAyELrR.-They
have out in Atlanta hotel keeper named
Thompson, who is considered rather smart
at Joke. bat sometimes meets his match
as the following proves:
a traveller called very late for breatfas.
and the meal was hurriediy prepared
Thompson feeling that The food was not
quite up to the mark, made ali sorts Of
apologies around the eater who never rails
ed bis head beyond tie affirmative inlla.
ence Of bis fork, or by an act, acknowled.
ged even to the presence Of mine host
The suIky demeanor rather vexed the
landlord, who changing the range Of his
battery, stuck his thumbs in his vest arm.
holes, expanded his chest by robbing the
room Of half its air, and said:
"Now, Mister, confound me If ha n.
made all the apology necessary and more
too, considering the breakfast and who
gets it, and tell you, have seen dirter,
worse cooked. wore looking and II sight
smaller breakfant than this, several times.
The weary, hungry one .meekly laid
down bis tools, swallowed the bite in tran.
stu, placed ihe palms of lis hands together
and modestly looking up at the vexed and
fumins landlord, exclaimed IT'S what
you say true?' ayes, sir' came with
vindic,ive promptness. RI -
"Well, then, I'll be blamed, boss, if you
ha'n't out travelled me-" ~ 49, ~.
@#4 #f--------<->>>-~ ra
SCENE IN CouRr.-A scrub headed boz
having been brought up before Court as q
witness, the following colloquy ensued. r |
= "Where do you live 7" asked the Judge.
Live with mother
Where does your mother live 2"
She lives with father
Where does he live p @ss
!" He lives with tho old folks" ,....
"Where do they liye?'' said the Judge
getting very red in the face, % an audible
smoker goes routfd the room.
= They live I home" y y r
i. p, "Where in thunder's their home r
roars the judge.
=" That's where I'm FROM" says the boy
sticking his tongue in tho corner Of his
cbsek, and slowly closing one eye on
the judge,
"Here, Mr.. Constable says the Court.
"take the witness out and tell him TO travel. |
T. Z. ~.:l~... L. - Jc>s q. - is.A