davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13
ID. N. s.

A meeting of DJ-Nothing Society was
held in this place on last week.
Sam Lazy bones took the chair.
The Secretary made his report--thaG at
the last meeting nothing had been done,
according to the constituting of the soci-
ETY..
Jim Vacuum offered to make motion,
but did not move from his seat He OBJ
served that it was popular prejudice that
it was the duty of man to work. The
present order has been formed for the en-
cOuragsment of ldlsness. A new member
was waiting to be initiated.
The President said-'let him come
in.'
The candidate was brought in on a four
post bsdstsad. After giving the passw word
the President administered the oath of
eternal lsziness, and desired the candidate
for admission into the order TO repeat it
after him.
The candidate waited till the President
had finished, and then said Ditto
The vice president then asked the candi.
date whether he would take q drink
The candidate nodded and opened his
lips.
FThs Secretary will new read you the
rules of the society," said rhe president.
The candidate shut his eyes and fell
asleep in az instant.
He'll do = said the president approving
ly.
Yes said the vice president, Ahe'Il do
nothing
The members name WAS enrolled. and
be was reused to pay the subscription.
lie did nothing of the kind.
Nothing else took place.
Nothing more was said.
Nothing more was done.
We knew nothing more Of the proceed
iDgs.
Adjourned.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13
An Abstracted Gent,

odd Bupblebee' was the coenomen Of
Mr.. T, of Newburyport. He gained
the title from having caught q bun blebee
one day. as be was shingling his barn, aud
in attempting to destroy the insect with
bis Ratchet, cut of the ends of bis thumb
aOd fore finger, letting the insect 20 UNI
harmed. Other mishaps happened to the
old oodgsr on the same barn. 10 one of
his distractions, be shingled over bis spare
Ratchet and, cutting q email aperture in
the building to let little daylight in, this
man actually set in wooden pane, as be.
ing economical aud not likely to be brok-
en-! Uncle =, 10 one Of bis oblivious
freaks, nailed bis left arm 90 firmly be-
tween two boards of fence be was putting
up that he had to call for hel? to get extri-
Gated from his imprisonment. He once
put button on the gate instead of the
post. But the rarest freak of all was
when be ran through the streets with his
hands about three feet asunder, held be-
fore him, begging the passersAby not to
disturb him, as he had got the measure Of
q doorway with him.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13
A "PuT, for Laughter,

No man who has once heartily and
wholly laughed oau be altogether ire
claimsbly bad. How much lies 10 laugh
ter, the cipher Wherewith we decipher the
whole man! Some men wear an everlast.
ing barren shipper; in the smile of others
lice cold glitter as of ice. The fswest
are able to laugh what may be called
laughing; but only tnif and giggls from
the throat upwards, or, at best, produce
some whiting, husky cschipstion, as if
they were laughing through wool; of none
such comes good The man who cannot
laugh is not only fit for treason, strstagems
and spoils. but bis life is already treason
aud stratageD.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13

Some weeks ago a worthy family in
Detroit, received additions to their house
hold circle in the share Of twins, both
boys. A day or two since the youngsters
were baptized, and received the respective
names George Henry and james Viii
liam. In order to tell one from the other.
both being dressed precisely alike, q blue
ribbon was tied around the arm of the for
mer, but q stuped servent girl, after the
fond parents bad returned home, removed
the mark, and now they are unable to tell
which from which,
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13
A MARRYING Man.

A good joke is told of a bigsmist out
west. After having married half dozen
wives, he was complained Of aud lodged in
prison. He soon managed, however. to
break Jail, and was again at large but be
being met by man who was dOsirous of
obtaining the reward offered for his arrest,
he invited the bigamist to accompany him
hone, and be went for an officer. Ga bis
rsturn with the constable, what was the
poor fellows chsgrin to fud that the Lo-
thariO apd actually absconded with bis
wife
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13
Immortality.

A little girl in this city, who bad learn
ed that human beings have souls, bu, that
animals have not, recently lost her pet
squirrel. She mourned his death bitterly,
aud when her mother suggested that she
ought not to grieVe so much at the loss Of
an animal. she said psthetieally:
4 shouldn't care, mother, if Benny went
anywhere-ke just died and didn't 90 any.
where The answer was q touching evil
dence of the consolation derived from the
the Christian's belief in the immortality Of
the soul.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13
How do Democrats Feel,

The question is often asked US how dem
ocrats feel over tho result of the late can
vass. The fsVOrite statesman of Illinois.
Stephen a. Douglas, was once asked the
same questiUu-"How do you feelT
81 fee" said the great statesmen "like
one who had tried to do bis duty to bis
country under the most adverse Circun-
stances"
That is just how democrats feel now-
They have tried to do their duty to their
couotry under the most adverse circum.
stances"
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13
Seventeen Items.
10 everything in its proper time.

10 everything in its proper time.
Keep everything in its proper place.
Always mend clothes before washing
them.
Alum or vinegar will set colors of red,
green and yellow
Sal soda will bleach, one spoonful will do
for kettle Of clothes.
Saw your suds for garden and plants, or
to harden yaros when sandy.
Wash your tes.trsys wiz cold suds, pol
ish with little -four, and rub With Q dry
cloth.
Frozen potatoes make more starch then
fresh ones. They make nice cake.
A hot shovel held over vanished fnrDi-
ture will take out white spots.
A bit Of glue dissolved in skim milk and
water will restore rusty old Grape.
Ribbons Of any kind should be washed
10 cold soap suds and not rinsej.
If your fat irons are rough, rub them
with fne salt.
If you are buying carpet for durabiii'
ty, choose small figures.
A bit CT sosp rubbed or the door hinges
will prevent their creaking.
Scotch ennff put in the holes where
crickets come out will destroy them.
Wood ashes and salt. wet with water,
will stop tue cracks Of stove aud prevent
the smoke from escaping.
Green should be the prevailing color oil
bed-hangings ard window drap cry.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13

A thin old man With reg bag in bis
hand was picking up some small pieces of
Whalebone which lay on the street. The
deposit was of such singular nature that we
asked the quaint gatherer bow he suppos,
ed they came there.
'Don't know he replied in a squeaking
voice; but l'spect some unfortunate female
was wrecked hereabout somev here.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13

POPULATION OF CHIcAGo-A census was
taken iD Chicago for Schools purposes, Oh
the lst of OcOber, with the following re-
suit:
Total population 100. $50. The valua.
ton of real estate for 1864 was 81, 40 O23,
that Of persUhal property Wss$l4. 564, 769,
making total valuation of $4S. s32, 1872.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13

l! this world is a free show, what's the
price Of sdDittanoe Siu. sorrow, q
email tr'Ae of sunshine, and good deal of
shadow
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13
THE PRESENT.
BIZ MRS. R. B. EDSoN.

BH MRS. r. B. EDISON.
o, seek not, with daily endeavor,
Some grief in the future to find
The mountains 90 grim in the distance
Are mole-hills, when once they are climbed.
Search not the dead past, with complaining
At the folliss and failures you see;
Save as bescon-lights warning of breakers,
Its errors are nothing to thee.
Brush not the soft dew Of contentment
From thy heart. with the wing of despair;
one-half Ofthe ills that alright you,
Are mirages floating in air.
Seek not sorrow half way-let thy striving
Be to meet with a resoute hand
Whatever Of duty, or danger,
The needs of the present deman d.
And since sorrows come not singly, be hopeful,
Thsugh sometimes they dArken thy way;
Have IaIth, and with cheerful cOntentment,
Bear brAyely the MS Otto day.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13
Joliet signal Rate. :orAav.r,l..ns
son PRIrr,..

Job Printing ofsvc, yaeseriptio, a,
xp'ditiousIyexeeutedto order Oh tber,l,.,-
Anassortmento blankskepteonstaut,,. -, n.
- All orders for Advertising or Ooh UorA -.
be accompanied by cash, unless some person kno,.-
ubecones responsible for the sams.-ES
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13

The suspected. wife is the most miserable
being 10 the word, except the suspected
husband.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13

No man 10 born without vices; and the
best man 10 the one who is encumbered
With the least.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13

what caE q man do asked q green
'When Sheriff is seen coming with writ
10 his hand =
Apply the remedy said the other, very
grufiy.
Apply the remedy Parry, what kind of
. remsdyf
'Hesling remedy, you gOOss-run like a
quarter-horse.'
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13

Every tOwDsmaD. svSl y villsger thinks
bis own place the most scandsli1ed Ubs in
the universe.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13

D%John A. Logan announces himself
q candidate for United States Senator
He wants more pay for his dirty Wo:k. /"
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13
W. G.. THO NJ P S ON

ARG HITE CT AND UIL d e r. ,
ETTELL furAislI Plans and Specifications, and take
wv contracts for, superintend the erection OF
Churches, School Houses Public Buildings and DWELL
iIKS.
Shop and Once on Chicago Street, near A. st.
L. X X. Depot. nSS-tf
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13

Hyou wish to preserve your secret
wrap it in frankness.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13

They who think there is no vacuum in
nature forget q cequstts's :heart and Q
beau's skull.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13

All nobility in its beginnings was some
body's natural superiority,
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13

A lazy boy spells Andrew jackson thus
-&ru Jaxn.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13

Many persons Of considerable impo1-
lance don't seem to understand that it il
self-impoFtance.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13

Charities should be diffRed. Grain viii
not grow if piled in heaps it shOuld%te
scattered
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13

Money 10 like She air We breathe !; il
ne bSye IL moi, We die.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13

wisdom 10 the abstract of the past, VII ilC
beauty is the promise of the future.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13

Molly said Joe Kelly's ghost TO bis
wife I'm in purgatory at this present
And what sort Of place is il. p says
she.
'Faix;S says be, 7tis sort of half way
house between you and heaven aad
stAas il mighty sisy sttez leaEine you
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13
JOLIET BOOKBINDERY.

THE undersigned will bind sill kinds az Books, in
III any desired style. -..-..--.--
Jobs win be neatly executed and warranted
Prices moderate.
Wa STAkHLE, Bookbnder.
Blur Street, Zone door north ofthe Gas Works.
FEB II, 1863. Joliet, IllinoiT
on BBLs MICHIGAN FLOUR buchanan MilIs)
~ White Wheat, at less than the Market price.
AT As BL0ER SF'
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13

Words are oftsnsr the substitute Of
thought thsO isB vehicle.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13

come up. The two friends shook hands
and passed the compliments of the mora
ing.
Poor Baldwin is 10 trouble said Tower
as they walked on.
An, how sOP asked Perkins.
His wife is sick--has been sick over q
week and two of bis children are down
with diptheria. One CT them, the Doctor
thinks, will die. Poor fellow. pity him.
With the nurses to hire and the medicine
to buy, and provisions of all kinds SO high.
be Euds it SO hard to get along l sent
him five dollars this morning or rather
paid him in advance for some work be has
promised to do for me-
John Perkins seemed to be o little nerv,
| Gus.
By the way inquired Tower, after
they had walked on littls while in si.
ience.' have you paid Baldwin that eight
dollars yetS'
No, l haven't. replied John, reluctant.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13
DENTISTRY

WTOULD respectfully inform the inhabitants o
w olet and vicinity, that after absence Of
some years. has returned to Joliet for the purpose of
making It his future home, and adopts this method to
inform his friends and the public that he has take
the rooms formerly occupied by Carpenter Pierce,
OVER BROWNS DRUG STORE,
Whe-e he will be pleased to all who msy need
CLASS DENTAL OPPKRATIoNs.
Those who may employ him may be assured that all
Operations will be performed in q neat, trIGsty and
faithful manner
Nov. %, 1861. matt
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13
DE MI SF IL Y

...-.> DRs. ALLEN ( SALTER, permanently
l&tsAdfR located IN Joliet, is prepared to perform
~ 49, all operations in the profession, in the
41b latest aud most approved style Arti-
cia Jobs single Tooth to full sett, inser ted on
d tAtmOspberic principle.
Teeth Extracted without pain.
OFFICE Jefferson st., in Hawley's New Building
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13
Joliet Marble Works

Joliet Marble Works,
;IHARLEs &. MUNGER, Manufactureranddealer
) every variety Of
NITURE, &C., &C.
5ar the Rock Island Depot, Joliet, Illinois Order
Sm respectfully solicited
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13

80, 90 Reward.
GHRAKED from the subscribers farm in March Ia st,
- . large red and white spotted COW, With white
faco, large horns, and IL seven years old.
Also, large grey brndle COW, sErayed in May hast
The above reward will be paid for either b. the sub
porinaf, B. q. SHARPE.
Joliet, July n, n6-tf
TK1N and ssH0RTs 81 Ihs poo Or ton, st Mi
D Prices. at
CAgWELUg.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13

Our very popular and estineble repre>
sentative in Egypt died in April last year.
An unpleasant slterestion which arose
between the temporary incumbent of the
ONCE and the government Of the Pscha
resulted in suspension of inter course.
This was promptly corrected on the arrival
OF the successor to the consulate. Our re-
latioDs with Egypt, as we'll az our relations
with the ssibary powers, are entirely
satisfactory.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13

Owing 10 the peculiar situation Of japan
and tbe-snomalous form of lie government,
the action Of that empire in performing
treaty stipulatioDs is inooDstant and capri :
cious. Nevertheless, good progress has
been effected by the western powers, NOV
ing with enlightened concert. Our own
pecuniary claims have been allowed or put
10 course Of settlement, and the Inland pea
has been reopened to commerce. There lie
reason also 10 believe that these proceed
ings have increased rather than diminish
ed the Friendship of japan towards the
United States
OPENING OF FHE PORTS OF NORFOLK, HERMAN.
Ola, AND PENSACOLA.
The ports Of Norfolk, Fefnaudius, and
Pensacola have been opened by proclsma-
ton. 1t 10 hoped that foreign merchants
win not consider whether il is not more safe
or profitable to themselves, as well a. just
10 the United States, to resort 20 these and
other open ports. than il is TO pursue.
through many hszards aud ct vast cost. q
cOntrsbsnd trade SiEb other ports which
ere closed
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13

The rebellion which has so long been 10
progress IN China has at last been sup
pressed, with the cooperating good Offices
of this government and OF the other foreign
commercial states. The judicial consular
establishment has become very difficult and
and onerous, and it will need Legislative
regulation to adapt it to the extension of
our commerce, aud to the more intimate
interc' urss which has been instituted with
the government and people of that vas.
empire. China seems to be aeceptionR
with hearty good will the conventional laws
which regulate commerce aud social inter.
course among the western nstions.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13
y, MORRISY,

A GENT FOR THE UNITED STATES AND AMER
"A lean Express Companies, will forward Freightan
FaIuabes to all pontS0f the country. Notes, Draft
snd Bills collected and proceeds returned promptly
Joliet July IL. 1864 nj
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13
TIE PUBLIC DEBT.

The public debt on the frss of july la.s.
90 appears By the hooks OF the sreasSfy'
amounted to $l,749 .690, 4S9 40. Probs.
bly, should the war continue smother We ~,
90 at amount may be increased ~ not far
from $500 0O0,000. Held, ss is for The
most part, BY eur own people, it has be
come . substantial branch Of national,
though private property. For obvious ssa-
sons, the more nearly this property pan be
distributed among all the people, the bet
ter.
To favor such general distribution,
greater inducements ltI become owners
might, perhaps, With good eject and witb>
out injury, be prsssDted 20 persons Of Iimi-
tad means With this view / suggest
wis tier il nigh. nat be bath ex psdiert and
competent for congress TO provide thss q
limited amount of some .fsturs issues Of
public sssGrities might be hsld BY cog
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13

The quantity Of public land disposed %
during the fsS quarters ending 90 tbs S0-h
81 Septsnber, lssf Vas. 4.z2f SO a6fss. Of
Rhich ], 53e, ei4 acres were srssfed an5sr
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1864-12-13

The organization and admission OF the
STATE Of Nevada have been completed in
conformity With the Laws, end thus our
exec lent systsm is firmly established in
the mountains which once seemtd barren
add uninhsbitabie waSts between the At
laDtic states and those which bsVs grown
up on the coast Of the Pa-iic oOesu.
Der westbote. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1843-1871, 1864-06-16
Neuefes.

Sas 9ieinltat bes Ginialcs lit &cntudb. SO
teat iid iest leraus, ra6 Mrrsan i'm Gan;en tlos
$500 Wiann mad Sentudp tradte. Sarrn psrlrr
CT lei Mcmt Stcrlins an Sroten, @crmunncten
unp Gcfanscnen 800 unb fei Gpntliana nnsefd6r
700. gr bat irmit IS isiner @eianmtmadt serz
lrren unS Der 9ieit lit S~critrsut mns remrraliiirt, in
irilrsr Sluht f~esrifen, unp inner ,rcrrsn nod Gcs
fan9cnc cin9ctradt. Sic in Gpntbiana ~sciansen
scncmmcnen fsiren @esin,entsr muste Wtrrsaa
p%arrliren, ra or iat, ba6 es ihm niAt s~elinseu pers
DC, rtcicltcn naA 9irsinien su trinsen. Sine in,
Sclce at9c9ctrne 9arrle 1T ater na4 rem slusz
ned msSz@ ertrase niht %timrenS, irmit fSnnsn
ricie seute irfcrt irierer im's Selb seianbt ,pcrnen.
ssie es beibt, irl Sen. Scticn, reldsr in 9sslei=
tltn9 rcn 2 Nctcacn SffSiercn mad Salnrutb ses
tradt r,rre, ron elmer gttbeilmts 8mreszGarafs
lcric fefreit rcrrsn isin. Sieisr Streifyus fat Jos
nit fir Wtcrsan teinabe Gin etcnic idlimmes GnSe
senrnrncn, mic iein prrja6riser, ,uo CT ,rirS ihrer,
lid 10 talc cinen nsuen mtcrne6mcr rclen rper
niirfcn. Scine ciaene 9aut fat CT niesn.al tsi Ssis
ten in Sider9sit 9cbraht.
@rn Der Yrtrulae armse niAts RON 8sSeutuns.
Der westbote. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1843-1871, 1864-06-16
Sic ElQtiDrm.

4. pef6lpffen, ta6 es tie tSdite Ghidbt ietes arrsrif,:
niIten girpers it, bic S~ntearitit Ter llnipn une ee Sterbp
belt rer Gcnfttutirn unt @eete Ger @%ersinisten Staaten 81
b,baurten. unt ras mir - rpltihe Observation-Disclosures
ten lei Seite leaent, ron sinem aerneinidbaftlihen @efublt
eurherunsen. mad, einem aemeinitaftliden 2iete itrstene :
ms ais Union Wduner s%errfidten, gllss III tbun, mas in nm
frer Matt nett, nm ter Sieaieruns Bel Ger llntsrrrufuna Re,
B lisbeneen gebelirn turb @aNensepalt unc Bel Der Sefra.
jina Ger assen pieielben inter QSafsn itebeneen MebeIen uni
Isrrattsr ~behulaid, III iein. .T
2. GaB mir nit rem Gpriase her Gesieruna. i6 in fGn
Gcmprpmib nit ben 8stsllen einsulaisn ctsr eeniclben Srie=
lens =Nnerbietun9en ,u MAIDEN = alsaenpntmen auf grunt
ibrer unbseinstef, lluterwerfnna, Ter Giniteluna eerSeintielta-
teitcn unc ibrer SiIdfebr III ter ihu!eisen Sreue geaen bic
Contribution unt geiese ter gereini5teu Staateu - eiurer;
fantcn iint, 1,ne taf mir te %Siesieruna anTprrern, tieie Stcl
luna ~ ~bebaupten, unt Zen !2ries nit FER duberien Gnerate
Bis CUR rolfdntisen intertridnns Ter Retelicn furtsniesen,
rrtei Ee Ft au' he SeltH ,Tnforferrra. trn 4atriot'6rnd