Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1864-08-24
THE EVENING STAR.
walking on a RAFT.

There was a fellow once stepped ont'of the
door of a tavern on the Mississippi, meaning 20
Just at the landing there lay a big raft-one OF
the regular old fashioned WhaieIs-a rait
mile long Well, the fellow heard the landlord
say the raft ives mile long, anu no. ne saio un.o
der. and let mine eyes behold the timber which
the hand Of man hath hewn-' SO he got on the
lower end. and began TO ambulate over the
wood in pretty fair time But just as he walked
mn the river it walked down, both travelling
at about the same rate. When he got to the end
OF the sticks, he found they were pretty near
shore, and in sight OF tavern; so he landed
and walked straight into the bar.room he had
come out of. The general sameness of things
took him little aback, but he looked the land
lord straight in the face and settled itin his own
way. "Pubican," said he, 'are you gifted
with any twin brother, who keeps similar
sized tavern, with duplicate wife, COM
porting wood pile, and corresponding circus
bills, mile off from here!'' The tavern keeper
was fond Of fun, and accordingly said it was
just So "And, publican, have you, among
your drygoods, for the entertainment OF man
and beast any WHISKY OF t ,he saueTn sn man sad
that he had from the rising OF the sun even to
the going down Of the same, ne mad. Tney TOOK
drinks, when the stranger SAID: .fnollcan, that
twin brother of yours is a mighty fine mana
very fine man indeed. But, do you know, Pm
afraid he suffers good deal with Chicago Dip
theria,n sand what is that2" asked the toddy
sticker. sit is when the truths settles so firm
in a man that none of ii ever comes out Com.
mon doctors of the catnip sort call it lying.
when left your brothers confectionery there
was raft at his door, which he swore his life
was mile long. Well publican,I walked that
raft from bill to tail, from his door to yourn.
Now 1 know leg time, and I'm just as good for
myself as for boss, and better for that than
any man you ever did see. ! always walk q
mile in exactly twenty minutes on good road.
and IN be busted with overloaded in Jun
gun if I've been more'n ten minutes comm
here, stepping over the blamed logs at that.
THE OUT-TRAvELED TRAvRLKR.-A travel
er came very late for his breakfast, and the
meal was hurriedly prepared. Thompson
feeling the food was not quite up to the mark
made all sorts OF apologies around the eater,
who worked away in silence, never raising
his head beyond the affirmative influence of
his fork, or by any act acknowledging even the
presence Of mine host. This sulky demeanor
rather vexed the landlord. who changing the
range Of his battery, stuck his thumbs in his
arm holes and said: Now mister confound me
if hain't made all the apologies necessary
and more too, considering the breakfast and
who gets it, and tell you, / have seen dirtier,
worse cooked, and a deal of sight smaller
breakfast than this several times" The weary,
hungry one laid down his tools, swallowed the
bite IN transitu, and, modestly looking up to
the Tuning landlord, exclaimed els what
Won say trueln eyes sir" "Well, then, I'll
be blamed if You hain't out-travelled me.''