The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-12-01
PROFESSOR MACK's WIFE.
OR, MARRYING A COOK.

: Some years since, wheh L was In CO
, lege, We had amongst our "faculty. a cur
: Gus, parsonage, whom every one regarde
e with considerable respect, and yet as
: character sut generis. He had lived ma
q ny years without a wife, and expected t.
$ live so always. Indeed as he was tn,
I professor of mathematics, the abstraction
of his science forbade his indulging il
the idea of getting married. To the fe
, male sex, therefore, he showed no othel
regard than common politeness required
His character was purely negative. o.
course he was not popular with the ladies
and they kept themselves at distance
} from him. But circumstances that often
bring about match in other cases, placed
him in peculiar dilemma 1t seemed q
whlm that necessity was laid upon him
to get married. He was one of the fac
ulty of the college,-all the other profes.
sors were married and obliged to enter
tain the distinguished visitors of the in
stitution. He had always boarded. OF
course it wasn't expected Of him that he
should ever give party or dinner. But
it began to be regarded as rather mean in
him to shirk off this matter from year to
year, and, "well off as he was pecuniarily
throw upon the other members of the fac
ulty the cost and trouble of entertaining
the special friends and patrons of the Col
legs. The question was, therefore fire.
quently asked:
"Why doesn't the old miser entertain
some of the distinguished visitors that
visit us p
Now our professor wasn't miser at all
aud it often troubled him to think he was
situated that he couldn't bear his part of
the burden And yet; what could he
do? Must he get married q? And if so,
to whom? He had no special regard for
any one in the vicinity of the college,
and no one had any special regard for him.
In his younger days he had seen at
school a young lady in the city OF New
York, in whom he had felt a peculiar in
terest. And of her he hadn't heard for
years. Doubtless before this time she
was married, or in her grave. Possibly,
however, she was still living and wal
ting for him Glorious thought! He
was quite relieved at it, though, indeed,
there might be no foundation for his re-
lief Nevertheless he could make due
inquiry. Nor could he delay, for com
mencement day was at hand; only few
weeks off 1t was his turn, or rather
would be if he was married, to give the
great dinner to the distinguished person
ages who would be present on the occa-
sion. There would be the Governor of
the State, and his lady,-the trustees of
the Institution and their friends, and 9TH
ers of equal repute. But who should be
master of ceremonies Aud who should
grace the table? He could square the
circle perhaps, but such circle as this,
what could he do with it? If he were
only married, what a helpmeet would his
wife be at such time. And yet, his
wife must be good looking, intelligent,
and accomplished lady, otherwise the
blank would be a blot
Now there was young lady in the
neighborhood that the professor thought
might answer He had seen her at his
boarding house, and spoke to her once or
twice.
"But she may say no. and if she did,
"where in creation" thought he ''could
| hide my head And then what would
become Of the dining?" The Governor
must have dinner and he must have
wife And hence he lay awake about it
all night. At last the morning broke he
cried out to himself, Contempt! She
vii! say no, will she What then? 9th
er men have lived through it, and shall.
| If not, stall have clear conscience a.
bout the dinner, aud clear conscience is
the main thing after all | will write a
note to Miss A. anyway. 1t may be she
will regard it favorably." So the profes-
sor sat down and wrote note to Miss A.
"Stay minute" said he to himself,
"what will the Governor think Of the La
dy? She is handsome and polite, but
can she converse Can she entertain
company % "Doubtfull," said he to
himself, every doubtful; )" and SO he tore
up the note. Alas for man on the
verge of matrimony In an hour or two,
I however, the Professor called on the
President and said:
al should like to be absent few daysY"
"Ah ~ said the President, ''just at this
time 7"
eyes, sir, | have my classes in readi-
ness for the examination, and | wish to
go to New York.
"Has any death occurred in the fami
w." said the President.
"No, sir, said the Professor, "but
: have little matter of business that re
quires my immediate attention, and
thought it best to go"
"You have my best wishes, said the
President, "and may you return safely anc
not alone"
The Professor almost smiled, but blush
} ed rather than smiled, and left the Presl
, dent, and hastened to New York.
His first inquiry on his arrival there
was for Miss Adaline g., the young lad,
whom be had seen some years before, a