The Plymouth weekly Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1860-1869, 1864-12-08

| lm0uS vote OF the family, / was compelled
to sit at the head Of the table and do the
carving. l accepted the responsible po-
sition with reluctance. | observed that
everybody about the table thought l was
little green, and knew that | must
resor. to ruse Cor as the exigencies cf
the case required the superlative degree,
ruse ter). in order to prevent their max
ing sport of me. | seated myself slowly
and sadly and solemnly, and taking pair
of spectacles from my pocket Ca pair | had
borrowed for the occasion) 1 began to wipe
them in an austere manner. The young
ladies looked at me in amazement. When
| had become convinced that had remov-
ed every particle of dust from the glasses,
| quietly passed them to the old gentleman
on my right; then the sweetest giggle ]
ever heard ran all around the table, o, [
was fearfully green. Next L took book
from my bosom pocket entitled ''Hoyle's
Games" Turkey being game, | thought
the book would assist me in carving. Is
chat a 'testyment?" inquired the lady of
the house, glancing suspioiously from be
meath matronly cap. "No NAM" said
1 chats not a testyment; it is work on
the anatomy Of the fowl called the turkey,
written by fowl Turk" The old lady
looked mysti6ed and simmered down
Then l went to work. carved manfclly
for one mortal hour, during which time [
was goaded necessarily by the unmtigated
giggles Of my female companions. Ere
quentlv | referred to the book before me,
and derived great benefit therefrom, mas
much as the young ladies were so COM
pletely taken akack by seeing a young
man carve after the instructions Of di-
rectory that they were compelled to sup
press their laughter momcntarily. At
last the turkey part Of the repast was
fnished---you never saw Thanksgiving
dinner that didn't lead off with turkey,
I'll bet-and called for glass Of ale.
The young lady with the pale eyes said
''T-sh" It-shed quicker than light
ming.
What's the matte" said I, when the
excitement had subsded.
''Pa is templar," said the young lady
with the blue complexion, land he don't
like folks that drink
Cant YOU give me glass of cider,
them inquired meekly.
"T-sh" said the young lady.
And t-shed again.
'The Templars don't allow their mem
berS to drink cider said the innocent
female with the pale faced eyes, ''but you
may eat all the apples YOU want"
Bully" L exclaimed, bring me all
the apples in the world, I'll get drunk on
apples Immediately
1expected the young lady would t--sh
but she didn't.
When dinner had been dispatched, the
old gentleman became dreadfnlly familiar
with me. |. by a strange coincidence,
became marveIously familiar with his be-
loved daughter The old gentleman asked
me to visit his hot house and look at his
flowers. | consented. The fragile
! i o1c IL
walked in the rear of the old gentleman
arm in arm.
"This is the most beautiful flower have
in my collection said my elderly host,
showing me rare exotic.
Il agree with you perfectly said !,
gazing into the beaming eyes of my fair
companion, which mark Of esteem, may
say, she reciprocated, by gazing into my
beaming eyes.
"The stem, you will observe" said he,
is very delicate.
Extremely slender" | replied, placing
my arm gently around the maiden's waist.
She looked up and sighed like bucket of
fresh milk.
Il planted this flower myself" said the
old man, "and like it.
$50 do J." was my prompt response,
.and the more see it the better like t."
With that | pressed the fond creature still
nearer to my bosom.
"My wife wants me to remove it to an
other house" he continued, ''but l thiuk
T will let it remain where it is all winter" !"
Glory, hallelujah." | exclaimed in my
JOY, "let it stay here forever" spoke
a little too loud; my eestacy betrayed me,
the old man looked up, and o, horror
such a scene "a ensued shall never be
able to describe The gold spcctaclcs that
adorned the god-like forehead of my
: obliging patron were dashed into two or
three thousand atorls; the rare exotic" was
!, crushed to the earth, and the hothouse
resoundcd with maddening shrieks. / can
o,o ro,nart H.. Al 4