Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1864-01-27
Death m the For.

It is not only discouraging, but mourn
tul, to think of the quantities of good food
destroyed every day by bad cookery.
Any one who has ever paxtaken of sci-
entificaly-ceoked meal, not necessarily
composed of dainties, unless perfect cook
cry be reckoned dainty, will understand
what l mean. On the myriads of over
done and underdone "joints . of watery
potatoes-for not enc cook in hundred
can turn out decent potato, although the
greater part of our /" cooks were born
with one in their fists. Oh the lumpy
squash, and -half-cooked turnips, and
caulihower; oh the delicious oysters,
rendered leather by too much heat; oh the
alarming soggy, clammy pies, with scarce
a suspicion of an interior; oh the BRICK
bat-lead puddings, garnished with sauce
Of butter and water ; oh the "porter-
house steaks" burnt at one end and raw
at the other; oh the nightmare breeding
rare roast pork; oh the salt apple-sauces
oh the plasters of buckwheat cakes oh
the bread, yellow with vile sal-eratus oh
the abominablc dish-water coffee and
worse tea; oh the clammy cake and fer
mented sweetmeats oh the entire gastro-
nomical array of internal stomach Destroy
ing "vittels," which creep from the kitch-
ems to the tables of our land aud OH the
"young ones" who have been causelessly
"spanked" in consequence. From year
to year this waste Of food and waste of
life goes on, and the digestion of whole
families Is remorselessly destroyed and
still the cook pockets her wages as COM
placently as if every article that passed
through her hands were not rank poison
to the eater. AS if many drunkard's
downfall might not be dated back to the
craving for stimulants, caused by her dys-
peptic- breeding food as if many q young
girls destructive love for the pastry-cook's
shop did not spring from her tasteless
home meal; as if bitter quarrels and con-
troversies did not have birth in her kettles
and pans as if unsuspecting clergymen
did not drive their hearers from heaven
instead of Turing them toward it by a
gloomy gastronomic theology; as ifmany
q poor author were not mercilessly hayed
by the critics stomach. a'..r.
For one, never see basket of "mar-
keting" disappearing down an "area," |"
that l do not mentally pray that it may
pass through the hands Of Christian
cook. For one, see no reason why
among the institutions for learning"
that have sprung up all over the land,
there should not be one the speciality Of
which shall be: scientific cookery "made
easy :" where diplomas shall be given that
will command prizes, to render such study
an object to those who now consider it a
"degrading occupation" This would
speedily put to rout the hordes of mis-
called "cooks," who never concoct a
decent dish, unless they stumble upon it
by accident; and who never give, us
second edition OF anything good, though
they may have line upon line of instruc-
ton, and precept upon precept, from the
frantic mistress of the house, who, though
quite willing to direct and to put her own
hand occasionally to the wheel, does not
of course intend to pay the cook, and do
her work for her beside. % ~
The amount of it is, brains are what is
wanting; and till brains cook for US, we
shall continue to be doubled up with all
sorts of aches and pains in consequence.
Your green chambermaid sees no reason
why red-hot poker shouldn't repose on
a velvet ottoman, or on marble table;
or why dust-pan or broom shouldn't
nestle on white bed-quilt; your green
cook pours lukewarm water on your tea,
and sees no reason why it shonld not suit
the palate of the parlor. I repeat it, my
hearers, that brains are what is wanting,
and as most of our cooks are scantily pro-
vided with that article, the case at present
looks gloomy; for though their "blun-
ders" ON other subjects are often extreme
ly funny, one is apt "to laugh the other
side of his mouth" when they appear on
our tables under dish-covcr.
FANNY FERN.