The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1864-11-10

The love Of title. Is q besetting sin Of
the universal Yankee Nation, Il latte
matters, whether in church, army or navy
whether In divinity, law or pbysic, SC
long as man may acquire q handle to his
name. Even the working classes, those
unfortunate individuals, whom everybody
blarneys, and every lecturer, politician
and spooney toasts as the "honest work
ing men," have their titles, rank anc
grade, not satisfied to be apprentice, OF
workman, or boss, they are not content
with less than major, captain, or Judge.
When the Federal constitution was
adopted it was determined that "no title
Of nobility shall be granted by the United
States;" and well it was so, else we
should have been overrun with a greasy
nobility, made in reward for party SER
vices; we should have earls, dukes and
barons, kings, princes aud poutiffs,
counts, knights and gentlemen, ad
nsuseum. Peers Of the realm would have
been created by every administration as
remuneration for the dirty work Of
party. Every war would have converted
its heroes into titled snobs. From the
revolution down through the war of 1912,
the Mexican war, the expedition to Para.
quay, the gallant foray upon the Mormon
Prophet You've, and the present mighty
rebe lion, all would have turned out their
crop Of candidates for the House Of Lords.
Each State would, of course, in its sover
eign capacity, have issued letters paten,
Of nobility, and thus the Whisky Rebel.
lion Of Massachusetts,, the notification OF
South Carolina, Old JoHN BRowS's cap
ture Of Virginia, and Gen. KIBBE's war
upon the Indians in California, would
have immortalzed in the pages Of history
and college of heraldry those magnificen nt
noodles who are now destined TO go'low n
TO postcrity with the obscure names OF
BRows, JONES and SMITH. Only think
il. Dukes, Lords, 'Nomme de Lack
aud "Nomme Cduh." II Magenta aud
Solicrino should give ducnl titles to illus.
trious heroes, why should not Bull Run,
Red River aud McCLELLAS's retreat from
the Peninsula!
Then again in diplomacy, how fruitful
a sound Of noble name! General
BUELL. for his fruitlcss campaign in the
Southwest, would deserve an eurldom a,
least, and Memingcr for negotiating
the war debt at Richmond, SHOULD be made
"Count Coupon" Stars would blaze on
every Republican bosom and garters bind
every Democratic leg. w. p. NOBLE,
in consolation for his defeat to Congress,
should have the ribbon of the Legion of
Honor. On the tombs of the dead and
the carriages of the living, in marble and
undying paint, on plate and parcel, arms
aud quarterings Of political nobility
would appear The whcclborruw of the
Celt the lager beer cask of the Teuton
should reflect in honor Of the insignia Of
their political service.
In the absence of such opportunity for
name the American people make the
best of the opportunity they have, and
judges, esquires, colonies, generals, com.
modcres, and reverends IRE thick as flcas
in Happy Valley, so common have these
sprendages become that they have
brought reptoach on real titles worn by
honest merit.
The army has its rivals in every town,
and a volunteer company of the wisest
men, who must back up against Vir.
ginia rail fence to get into line, turn out
corporals and sergean,s, who are through
C urtesy called iicutenants, and licuten-
ants who are er grdtia captains, and
captains who are majors, coloncls and
. ierals.
Generals Grant, Sherman, Sheridan,
or Hancock, or Thomas, who hay, won
their rank in the van of fearful and bloody
encounter, have no distinction in title
shove Generals E. r. SrIcKNEY, JOHN
BELL or A. NJ. JACKSON, who have drawn
a corkscrew oftener than sword. Com.
modore FARRAGUr, of the navy, Commo-
dore VANDERBILT, of Wall street, and
Commodore Bon MARTIN, Of the marine
telegraph, are Of equal rank. Captains
who have been educated at West Point,
served through the campaigns of Mexico
and the present war, ure jostled by u
hundred captains Of OK trains across the
plaius. Captain Worden, of the navy,
whose opened port holes frowped def.
ance to the rebel Marrimac in defense OF
A0erican honor, is no more of cap
taia than he of the canal boat, or skipper
of clam schooner. Tho lawyer who
from well earned honors at the bar is
called to the bench, is judge, SO is the
pettifogger who for his services as ward
politician becomes ward magistrate, and
our learned bench, Judges BRINKERHorF,
DAY and RASsEY, rank in title if not in
learning, with Judges LANG, BAGBY and
JOHNSON.
There is no title in rank but what is
travestied. The President of the United
States is entitled His Excellency," and
80 are Horatio Seymour, Mr.. Braml, tie,
and JEFF Davis. Statesmen like Webster,
Clay and Douglas were called Honorable; i;
SO is r. r. Titus, aud Messrs. Beer,
Fielding, Thoruhill, and Isaiah Pillars
brother Jim; and another distinguishing
feature is, that title once given always
sticks. Witness, Hon. John w. Paine,
Hon. C. L. Vallandigham, Hon. Geo. E.
N