The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-06-09
Artemas Ward, Jr., en- the Presidency.

AAeoWdS w dIus oT., Gu GuG [IGSlUGDCJ
Perchans you think I've bin and gone
an forgot to roccolleck- your Those is
not the case. | haven't bin Dabblin in
lie Stocks, or Cole Stocks, or emmy other
stocks, either. Not Dab. The best
resin | kin give fer not dabblin in 'em,
is because | had no Dabblers-which
meen greenbax.
For sum time parst I've bin Lyin low,
keepn me Top eye peeled, and waitin for
sumthin to turn up-which larst remark
was maid by me ole friend, Mr.. Mick
Cawber, a lrishman
Sumthin are turnin up.
| | desire 2 clame your attention a few
short periods on the subieck ov the Pres
idency fer the years beginnin March 4,
Amy Dominoes, 1865, '66, '67, '6S, in
cloosively. 1t air the one CRATE queschun
what now cawses the Nations Buzzim to
futter like the throbins or a defunct NUT
tons narrative-as it were
Noomeries candydates is talked about,
an rit about, and lied about. You carn't
Rub that out. l air no pollytishun. |
don't belong to them familp. | had a
step-uncle or Sumthin onct, which was a
pollytishun; but he went an died afore he
was 81. | don't arsk airy offs orf emmy
indoogent publick, g. l don't spose the
indoolgcnt publiek wood bestow airy a
offs onto me et | dix arsk it. I dom
keer As lorng as the subscriber can
weeld pen or a squill, he means to say
his say-the 'pinions ov Copperheads an
other traitors to the contrary, never the
less, notwithstanding, inasmuch, howsom-
ever, ctsettery. I'll bet my dollars and
22 cents Oh that. An [ don't inten to
diverge from the truth emmy. But air
not divergin from the subjeck.
In speakin ov the merits and demerits,
capabilities and decapabilities, ov the diff
ferent candydates wich has bin named
fer the Presidential Posish, | shall re-
serv the best till larst Arfter the 'lec-
ton, the larst shall be fust, as Mr.. Shak-
'spere scz. (thc understands posted up in
William.)
| Emmy chap wot possesses the most OBJ
toose intelleck cannot fale to perceiv that
a muchlier portion of the Reb's Nuthren
frens air in favor of Mister George
B. Littlemacklella fer the next Cheef
Magistrate | make no dowt his frens
think he wood make a sweet Pres. Ac-
cordin to thare idee ov thins, he wood
. sweet. They think J. Davis makes
a Tip-top Pres. AS President, George
woodn't irritate his Suthrin brethren
much. Skurcely. But [ don't bleeve
fer emmy length owe moments that Mack
wood make the best Pres. the worle ever
saw. On the contrary, think he wood
make the wust-tho' it would be putty
difficult to make wuster than j. Bu-
chanan.
Here allow me to digress few. The
other day | recevd letter from me friend
Stwaggles. He sez WHARF he lives the
Copperheads don't do nuthin but stay to
hum an help j. Davis; and they say ei
the Cops wos in offs, things wood be
cheaper, henz they woodn't be SO dear
Wal, they had lection, an sum Cops
was 'lected. But things didn't git cheap
er. 1t was vicey versey Stwaggles sed
his wash-woman warnted to advance the
price ov his washin. But as he hadn't
meny Close his bill wasn't hefty. | rit
back an tole Stwaggles, in surcustie
way to help 'lect Little mack, an times
wood be so hard he woodn't have enn1
harness to wash or wear, which wood
make his wash bill very lite. I bet you
As remarkt BEL, Geo. B. woodn't dc
for a Union Pres He has his faults. Et
he was nominated fer Grave Digger, OF
boss in a Iron Oar Quarries, l woodn't
say Neigh. As digger, he's large.
mite say he's immense. AS Cheef Mag
istrait ov the T. S. he'd be shaky. Rath
err Afore he had occupied the cheer
lorng, he'd have Washington dug up an
located at Hoboken, NJ. Mayby he'G
send mittens to the barehanded shivilry
afore they battled with the mudsill ov the
North. Praps | am rather heavy OF
George. Onct [ endorst him. | called
him Pennsylvany's favrit Son. I didn'
stop to enkwire eff he was Abolitionist
Copperhedishionist, Greclyishionist, or j
G. Bennetishionist, Gooist or Jentilist, 81
he wood skrush the Rebs as he promis
to do-push 'em to the wall as he sec
he'd DO. But that happy dream is Ore
as the poick so gushin1y warbles. Wher
George had command ov the Potomicl
Amy, he used to make stratergette NOV
mints toards Richmond an immejitly fine
hisself in Washington Now eff he make
a stratergetic movement toards Washing
ton he will find hisself-sum other place
to l on it.
; | don't think Clement Vallandighan
| woed make sootable Press fer the North
! Not much Glenn has his little faults, 2
He's forrener. He's sumthin else like
wisely. | won't say what, but the fus
letter sounds like Traitor. An that's wo
ails him. He was elected to remain II
Canady few years. The few years il
) not up. Glenn wood SCOT the Nuthrer
and Suthren Rebs to I, but airy mar
wot has hunk of patrism in his buzzin
as big as Copperhed's sole, wood prefer
he continood being Forriner.
Peraps Mr.. Tout Boorygard wood I'll