The mountain Democrat., 1864-06-11

come
well, it is impossible to say, some
motheyS are, 50 stupid about answering in
vitations; but we are sure of three and
thirty, at least
Three and thirty little girls coming to-
night, madaml Whatl They're not all
girls. Do you mean to tell me that you
have asked any horrid boysr
We'll, my dear love, you wouldn't have
been so absurd as to give a juvenile party
composed exclusively of one sex. The
girls would not certainly enjoy it without
the boys
4 am sorry to hear it, replied /, de-
spondingly. AT what time do they oil go
away? p
Now, do hope you are not going to
desert us, exclaimed my consort, laying
her fingers affectionately upon my arm
we depend upon you for providing
amusement, you know. The master of
the house always does that. lie either
dresses up''-
Dresses up" calculated ], Indignantly.
What do you mean by that, madam? ?
why, he prctends to bea beggar man,
or Bengal tiger, or something Of that
sort; and if he doesn't mind running
about on all-fours'-
But if he does mind, madam inter-
rupted | with sternness-ff he declines,
at his time Of life, to expose himself to any
description of ridiculc, what does he do
them
We'll, then, of course, he goes out into
the town and hires Conjurer, or Punch
and Judy, or Magic Lantern. There are
| lots Of shops which send out these sort of
people
What sort Of shops, madam: 2 inquired
| | with the calmncss Of despair. Il will
do anything in reason; but never hap
pcncd to hire conjuror in my life
The toy shops, Of course ; or you may
hire one at the Mausoleum-as | saw ad-
vertised in the newspaper some time ago
that is very good place to get one, !
should think
The MausoIeum is shut up returned
|, sulkily, and its drcary entertainments
are closed by the bankruptcy of its pro-
prictor.
Yes, but another man has got it now,
and you will find what you want there
all the same. And now, my love, if you
wouldn't mind, perhaps you'll leave US
to ourselves little, because We want the
room
Then YOU turn me out Of the house, in
,hcrt, DO YOU: Well, you will not see me
back again at twelve o'clock, madam, do
assure YOU. shall take my dinner else
where, since proper meal at home is de-
| nied to me.
There's darling love- responded my
wife, embracing me tenderly. Il knew he
wo4ld, if it was only properly put before
! him. For once and away, we really shall
get on better without you. You will fluid
Us all auNipu>ly waiting for you about
four O'Clock, and supper will be ready for
the grown.up peopIe-after the children
have had thvirs-at nine o'clock precise
! iy.
'The ctovn-up people, Mrs, P.-why,
this is the first time | have heard of
! them
well, Of course, there must be some
grown up people, my dear, unless you pre-
Ter to apry for some policemen, to keep
order And my uncle Chutney-you
! know how violent he gets if we don't ask
him 10 every sort Of entertainment we
give-I was obliged to send him an invi-
tation.'
Colonel Chutncy at a juycniletParty !"
, CALCULATED |, throwing my hands up
why, he'll be using bad language before
the Children
Yes, my love- I'm afraid he will but
then, fortunately, Ire always swcars in
lIinduStanee. Now don't you be later than
four o'clock; there's dear man. And
here's your hat, and here are your gloves,
and don't forget the conjurer.'
Thus was turned out Of my own house
and driven rcmorselessly to the Mauso-
leum. That place of public amusement
has not a cheerful appearance even under
the most favorable circumstances, but
thought its Grccian portico never looked
50 lowering as upon the present occasion.
The porter smiled a ghastly smile as set
foot in the entrance hall for was the FIRST
pleasure seeker who had darkened its
threshold that morning, and Informed me
that the experiments connected with the
galyanic battery were about to commence
! in the western corridor. Declining to
have my spirits further depressed by any
such spectacle | asked, with some mag
nifccncc of manner, to see the proprietor.
Il wish, said I, for personal interview
upon matter of business
You aint agoing to take the place, are
you, sir = inquired the porter, rubbing his
hands in a propitiatory manner. 4 ave
! been here many years, sir, and 'ope |
may still keep the situation. l could
show YOU certificates from three-and twen-
; ty as ave had Mausoleum at one time or
/ another
Il have not doubt of it, my good man,
returned | !; and each of them, l believe,
had a certificate of their own to show from
Mr.. Commissioner Fonblanque. ! am only
come about hiring conjuror for juvc-
nile party
% dear me, sir, replied the porter, you
will not get anything Of that sort here
We used to be in that way at one time,
but we are working under quite different
system now. We are all for practical
science, we are, and the elevation Of the
public intellect
oh, then you don't let out Punch and
Judy, nor Magic Lantern, Of course
% dear, no, SIR cried the porter, look
ing round suspiciously as though the gi-
gantic pillars of the vestbule themselves
had ears. 'Oh, pray don't mention such
things as that. If you wanted an electri-
fving machine, or even horrery'-
Thank you, said |, very much, but I
don't think that would do at ALL. And
left the melancholy porter watching for a
scientific pleasure seeker, and wandered
on upon my dreadful errand elsewhere
Having selected a mammoth top shop,
where the Noah's Arks in the windows
were about the size of the real houses in
my own peighborhood, l walked in and
| incurred for magician on hire.