The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1864-08-26

Ciout' iVtto" Piue dpPits, az, VIC Will tdAe
anything in the world excert scolding uife
or duN razor" and then to sum up all
these ills, some desponding quill driver must
needs put into circulation the fact that The
tables of mortality show that the lives of edi-
tors, compared with other men, are compara-
lively short. They wear out before their
time" as if the only hope they have for a
respite from their great troubles is an early
release from them.
Compliments are also sometimes bestowed
upon our friends which they hasten to give
to the public. We have retained some, and
those who recognize them as applicable to
their own case, can take them. and welcome.
a gentleman was promenading a fashionable
street, with bright little boy at his side,
when the youngster cried: % Pa, look
there goes an editor hush. hush " said the
father; don't make sport of the poor man.
God only knows what you may Come to vet"
1t is too hard for parents to inf fience the
minds of their offspring in such a manner.
Even the colOred race have no regard for the
editors feelings; things have certainly come
to great pass. An editor got shaved in
barber shop lately, and offered the darkey
dime, which was refused, because, said, he, Il
understand you is an editor = Well what
of that . We never charge editors nufin y
But such lberali,y will ruin you 'Oh,neb-
Der mind, We makes it up off de qsmmsn ''''
Here is another compliment. "A horse deal
er, describing used up horse, said be looked
as if ne had been editing daily newspaper"
But the policeman who rescued flom drown
ing a shaggy spaniel who had been in the
brine some fifteen or twenty minutes. was
more sarcastic. He said of the grateful cur,
as he wagged gracefully his caudal append
age, /" He looks like the editor of a monthly
magazine. trying to please everybody and
just missing t." If these compliments are
in any manner doubtful, here Is one which
does show mea,mesS and no mistake. q 'TEe
editor having lent his axe to oae Of his sub
scribers, the borrower unfortunately broke
off the haddle. On returning it, the man
said, you can easily have i: fixed Yes re-
piled the editor, but that Will cost at least
a quarter of dollar Well reloined the
borrower, IF You amt rather small for an
editor. Here's the quarter; but I'll thank
YOU to stop my paper at once Such Z
subscr or must have belonged to that family
mentioned by the editor who wants to know
whether III the devil were t, die. the news
pepelS would not en.oo;ze his character If
they didn't the editors would be very likely
TO get rnceremonous o5dcrs from SINE o:
the relatives of the deceased =. stop my
paper
Perhaps the following :" squibs :" may give
! some light nron the wav of keeping up news
papers in some places. l. IS certainly
novel plan, to say nothing o! It's Justice
Some Of our friends may do well by urging
the passage of d similar law. "Our paper
has been unavoidably delayed, on account oi
the arduous duties deyolving upon our hands
During the day they are busily engaged in
stricking type. And when the mantle o!
darkness covers the face of nature, being anX-
ious to do all the good they can in this world,
! by circulating the Visitor, they chase horses
and cattle from the neighboring counties. III
to Warren, that our citizens may take them
up as strays, and as the law requires the
notices to be published. We thus raise the
'Jeems to buy paper and keep the Visitor
going" Editors NAV make good drovers.
ont they certanl, do not succeed as garden
ers, for one says that "A little garden patch
of his was very Improbable last season. The
sna;s ate up the cuuumbers, the chickens ate
up the snails. the neighbors' cats ate up the
chickens, and we are now in search Of some
thing that will eat up rhe cats. Can any of
our agricultural friends aid us ?" We suggest
the manufacture of cat-Sup. We must not
suppose that all EDITORS are in trouble; mark
how this man talks, evidently as happy as a
king. "An exchange says that editors areas
a general thing. not oyerstocked with word
! ly goods. Humbug. Here We are, editor Of
country paper, fairly rolling in wealth. We
have good office. double barrelled rife
seven suits Of clothes, three kittens, New.
foundl and pup, two gold watches. thirteen
day and two night shirts. car, els on oul
= floor, pretty vile, own one corner lot, have
ninety-three cents in cash, are out OF debt
and have no rich relations. II We are nor
wealthy i, is pity. Hurrah for hurrah
Who cares for cash ?" This one in the '.hap
py strain" correspondents with one whC
wrote 1T does an editor good 30 have hi
! pride flattered once in a while. We realiz,
the benefit of it once year, when the asses
), sors come rosnd, ard ask how much none,
we have at interest; how much stock W
have in the public funds or in the banks, an'
: various other questions that are supposed t
be put only to the solid men, If there b
anybody about, We straighien up slightly, ex
: pand our corporosity, and in as heavy chest
J, tone as We can command, answer, About tn
: same as last year. They know well enoug
what that is-Nsrs-I etter.
a The Responsibility of the Petersburg
Repulse.
9, Thoro - q rad;nal disarrcempnt MT wee