The mountain Democrat., 1864-04-09
JoAn snltA :. Drart.A-TAs ,Conse-

Ny name 10 John Smith. / Ireceived q
notice Thursday, July 30, 1858, at s
o'clock P. n, that had been .drafted in
Canandigua = few days previously.
forthwith called q meeting of myself and
a glass of ale in my room at the hotel, at
O'Clock the same evening, at which
there was full attendance, and the fol.
lowing proceedings took place
. On motion Of Mr.. John Smith, John
Smith, Esq, was called to the Chair, which
he took and filed with that digniHed self
,, complacency and breadth of beam for
which he is so conspicuous. He made a
few remarks on the state Of the weather,
and the Empire of Mexico, which were
received. appreciatively; called the meet.
ing to order, appointed j. Smith Secre-
tary, and requested some gentleman pres
ent to state the objects of the meeting-
After a moments silence, John Smith,
ESQ, Of Rochester arose and said: -.
The painful duty has devolved upon
me Of stating to this large, enthusiastic
and patriotic assembly, that our honored
and respected friend, John Smith, has
been called upon to suffer the extreme
penalty Of the law. The eccentric Ad-
ministration and he have been playing
game of drafts" and John Smith has
lost although the game has been drawn
one. he is to be quarteRd at Elmra. -
It is the old barbaIity revived. Once,
men against whom people in high places
had reached out their hands Of power,
were hung, drawn and quartered; now,
inen are drawn and CHARTERED before they
are hung. John Smith has been drafted
Uncle Sam being thirsty, called for draft
Of men. 1t may be that John Smith will
prove toad in- his stomach" {sighs of
disapprobation from Johnnes Smith, an
administrator U. S. has succeeded in
sucking in j. S. j. S. now goes to succor
U. S. He, a conscript. nolens, goes to
give aid and comfort to the "Conscript
Fathers" Figurativcly speaking, he is
about to repose in "Abrahams bosom,"
Overcome by the melancholy reflection,
the eloquent speaker here proceeded to
revive his dropping energies by copious
draught of ale) Yes, draft is what ailS
John Smith. A conscript satirist, friend
to perfect liberty, and noble scion Of the
lordly race Of Smith. he goes to serve U.
S., and W. E. must thank him therefore.
But, after all, what is the world to man
when bis folks are wearing black for him?
H. may go forth (or 6ghO to glory he
may i'll his clothes with the body of a
patriotic soldier; he may do $500 worth
of damage to some rebel foe; he may have
the tact either to attack the enemy or
tackle his own hard tack, TO tickle his
tongue, while he grows hardy with con.
tinu,d practice of HardeeS tactics, he
may (lcre the speakers tongue became
80 thick, and his talk so entangied. from
the combined effects OF ale AMI emotion,
that he was prevailed upon to resume his
Seat) John Smith then suddenly arose
and addressed the aSSemblage. His re-
marks, although able and intert sting, had
relation almost entirely to the Chinese
troubles and the guano trade, and must
be omitted. In conclusion, refrreing to
the matter under discussion, he said
But it is glorious and very fine to know
that draft for 5000 will operate as a
check for ne man aud the dollars being
for the man, makes him, ii his name be
William, a Bill oi Exchange. 1t is not
clearly settled in my mind, whether. if
this draft bc di>honored@ and protest be
made, the liability would fall on L. S. or
, us. 1t might be advisable for John Smith
/ TO advertise for good draughtSmen, who
would draw him out OF the difficulty.
Will my self offer to make rough draft OF
the notice - the rougher the draft the
more like the original draft, which every
one declares rough. If many more of our
august family are drawn this August, it
will be another wonderful draught Of
fishes, for certainly there were some old
ones among them These are curious re-
Elections, but futile. Let me fiddle on the
patriotic string. Go forth, John Smith,
INTO this tumult Of great affairs! AT such
times great souls mount. Through long
viStaS Of ambition and blood, | see you
beside the Great Mogul. Go and be Ar
geSilauS. Go and be history. History is
magnificent. Bacon called it the pomp Of
business. Its march is on high places,
and long pinnacles and profit Of great
affairs Hug, 0 John Smith, the thought
to your soul, that you will he written Of
by pens familiar with the heroic race that
fought at Thebes and Ilium!' Fight, 0
Conscript Smith, that our country may
be the glory of kingdoms. the beauty of
the Chaldres exccllency' Summon to
your aid the House Of Smith, and let not
strange horror seize thee. and pangs un.
felt before But so act that the story of
John Smith may be read
with what resoundS
| In fable or romance of, Cthers son,
Begirt with British or Armoric knights.
Aud all who since, baptized or ntdel,
! J0nsted in AsprumOnt or M"ntaIban,
Damasco, or Morocco, nr Trebisond,
Or whom Bserta sent from Airic shore
When Cbarleman with all his peerage fell
By FOntarabiA."
j. Smith then offered the following res
olutinns;
WHEREAS, 1t has seemed good unto
the Patrius Conscript to summon to their
dangerous presence our amiable friend,
John Smith, for no fault OF his and
WHEREAS. 1t is highly legal and cor
rect that we should be indignant thereat;
therefore,
Resolved, That this meeting is, and is
hereby declare to be, indignant.
Resolved, That this meeting view with
alarm the intended abduction of their
most influential member.
Resolved, That this meeting will not
advance $500, the price set upon his head.
Resolved. That this meeting proceed to
organize forth Eith for private and con-
fiiential riot on a small scale.
Resolved, That this meeting warn Hor-
ace Greeley.
Resolved, That this meeting viciously
disturb the peace of this city,in case John
Smith is abstracted.
Resolved, That a copy Of these proceed.
ings be sent to Abraham Lincoln.
h.. Resolved, That this meeting has its