Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1864-04-09

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hat with bis name written in it, simply
because you want to get his autograph.
Why should you be justified in pick.
ing the pockets Of vender in engravings.
Because he has p,cs.urrs
The Poets.-K Keats spostropized a
Grecian urn; Burns, q daisy; Holmes, a
steamboat; Barlow, s.y-pudding.
-Chsvreau, in bis history Of tho world
tells us It was created on the 9th Of Sep
tember, on Frida, little before four o'clk
in the afternoon.
Some wit afirms that military buttons
are very attractive to woman, especially
If they arc also bachelors buttons 2
TO grow up to the skies We must be
planted below in the dust.
Tho world without women would be
shiftless affair.
The following is . copy Of a letter
received By village schoolmaster: "Sur,
you are man Of no'edge, intend to in
ter my son in your skull"
The following is transcript of q sign
on cigar store on FIT street, Louisville,
"This store 10 klosed on account Of krcd;-
tin the boys
-"You want aogging. that's what
you do, said parc't to his unruly son .
Il know it, dad, but I'll try to get along
without it,
Josh Billings, the Philanthropis, begs
leaf to State:
That ouions are good for bad breth.
That Rockawa clans are opening for
enay young man.
Thai ships are kalled she bekause ths
always keep . man on the look out
That boys ain. sp to turn out we'll who
don't git I'D till 10 clock in the morning.
Th.. if = man is going to make biz
ness ov ssrvinG the Lord, be likes tn sss
him du it when he measures up ouins AZ
when he boilers glory holleluyer!
That wisdum ain. nothing more than
edikated cunning.
Tho paper having The largest circula.
ton in the world, is now said to be that
issued BY Secretary Chase. 1. is an ex.
tremely loyal publication, too: l. supports
both the Administration and the Union.
An Italian woman, near Turin,
Italy, gave birth recently to twins withou.
heads. The priests say i. was because her
husband wished the decapita,ion Of the
Pope.
An old lady in the vicinity of Boston
who desired newspaper, refused to touch
a copy Of the Traveller having the presi.
dents message in it, because the Presi.
den. has had the small! pox, and she was
afraid she should catch it.
Single blessedness, like a mans fist
becomes stronger BY being doubled.
When you see dwarf, you may take
it for granted that his parents never made
much Of him.
Why didn't the last dove return to
the ark ? Because she had sufficient
ground for remaining.
AT what season did Eve ca. the opple
EARLY in the fall.
An Irishman who had been reduced
to = mere shadow BY severe illness, was
asked what he thought Of future state.-
"Ah, brother was the answer, ut makes
no difference, yses ain't left 'nough Of me
for the devil 70 na,uralize, no how"
A Maine editor says that pumpkin
in that State gre~ 90 large, that men
could stand round it. This il like the
man who sawa aock Of black birds 90 low,
that he could shahe stick as them. @at
@a--Eotto for, lArtesian Borers.-"Ail's
well that eud's ,ceN.4pa 80 = 1.aa-r
's--If twenty seven inches of snow gives
three inches Of water, how much milk will
sgisea COW yield when fed upon ,urnips.
Xao-Asl.iply she number Of snow fakes
By the number Of Asirs on the cows tail
divide the predset By the jnice of aadry
dry turnip, add to the quotient pound of
chalk and multiply tho snm BY the hydran..
= -Boassins is sometimes out Of place.
We were once amused 1t hearing . gen.
tleu,sn remark .shat be Vas . oachelor,
aud his fa,her before him. @@@ - ~
"Pin no. your fsi.h on any mans
sleel,e," IL : good maxim. Arsbeia,
however, esys she can't help II when the
thing IL around her neok With her lovers
arm in it.
In our infancy 70 cut our teeth. in
our old age our teeth cut Us. Such is
Existencel "s.'&7. '@'f*
Why il il easy n enter An old mans
habita,ion7 Because hia yaI IS broken,
aud bis locks are few.