The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1864-11-30
Counting,

Courting is luxury, it is said; it is ice
water, it is the pla spell Of the soul. The
man who has rever courted haz lived in
vane; he has ben blind man among land
shapes and water shapes; he has been ded
man in the land of hand Origins, and by
the side ov murmurng cannals. Courting
iz like 9 little springs of soft water that
steal out from under rock at the fut ov a
mountain and run down the hill side by
side singing and dancing and splattering
each uther, eddying and frothing and kas-
kaneing, now hiding under the bank now
full ov fun and now full shadder, till
bimeby tha jine and then go slow. am
in favor ov long courting; it gives the par
ties chance to find out each Others trump
kards, it is good exercise, and IL just as
inherent as 2 merino lambs. Courtin is
like straw berries and creams, wants to be
did slow, then you git the fiavor. have
saw folks git ackquainted, fall in luv, git
married, settle down and git to work, in 3
weeks from date. This is just the wa sum
folks larn traid, and it accounts for the
great number ov almitey mean mecanics
we hav, and the poor jobs they turn oat
Perhaps it is best shud state some good
advise tu young men, who are about tew
court with final view to matrmohy, as it
was: In the fust plase, young man, you
want tn git yure systim awl rite, and then
find young woman who is willing to be
courted on the squars. The next thing is
to find out how old she is, which yew can
dew by saking her, and she will sa that
she IL 10 years old, and this you will find
won't be far out ov the way. The next
best thing is tew begin moderate; So onse
every night in the week for the frst six
months, increasing the dose az the patient
seems to require it. 1t is fust rate way
to court the girls mother leetle on the
start, for there is one thing woman never
despzes, and that is leetle good courtin
if it's done strictly on the square. Afte,
the fust year yew will begin tew be ack
quainted and will begin to like the biziness
There is one thing alwus advise, and tina,
is not to swop photographs oftener thar
onsc in 10 daze unless you forgit how The
gal looks. Occasionally yew want tew lool
sorry and draw in your wind as tho yew
had pane this will set the gal tew teazins
yew to find out what all yew. -u
Evening meetings are good things t,
tend, it will keep yure religion in tune
and then if the gal happens tew be thare
by accident, she can ak yew tew go hun
with her. Az a gineral thing would no
brag on other gals much when was court
ing; it mite look as you knu tew mutch
If you vii! court three years in this Wa
awl the time on the square, if you don
say it is leete the sllckest time in yur
life, you can git measured for hat at m
expense, and pa for it. Don't court 70
mummy, nor buty, nor relashuns; thes
things are jest about as the kerosene il
refining business, liable to git out o
repair and bust at emmy minute. Court
gal for fun, for the love you bear her, fc
the virtue and bushes there is in her
court her for wife and for mothe,
court her as you would court farn, 70
the strength Of the sile and the perieckshu
Of the title; court her as tho she want
fuel and you another; court her in tn
kitchen, in the paror, over washtub an
at the pianner; court this wa, young mar
and if yu don't get good vile the fau
won't be in the courting. Young mar
can rely upon Josh Billings, and if ye,
can't make these rules work, jest send fc
h!m, and he will sho yew how the thing
did, and it shan't kost you cent.-bil
inns