davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1864-04-29
Sidney Smith on Carving.

To be known as a dexterous table anat
omist-one competent to dissect the fowls
OF the air, carve the joints Of the beasts Of
the field, and slice the fishes Of the seu
with neatness aud dispatch--is to be liza
BILE to perform heavy amount Of bard la
Dor without any adequate compensation.
Beware, therefore, if you are good car
yer Of imparting the fact. Let not your
pride of hand get the better Of your discre
tiou, All men eat-few carve. The car
vers, therefore, are in some sort bat SER
wants OF those who carve not. The latter
are superior race" who feed and wax
tat on warm meats and sauces, while the
former ere condemned to forage ON cold
scraps, and CONCEALED gravies. The head
OF the table is doubtless the place of honor;
but We hold, with the philosophical Fal-
staff, that honor may cost more than it
comes to-aud with shrewd Franklin, that
1t is quite possible to pay too dear for ones
whistle. Ftat'"
When the king of Siam has bone to
pick with one of his courtiers, he sends
him sacred elephant and the expense of
grooming and decorating the noble animal
ruins the obliged party. So when the
LADY OF the house. pays you the compli-
meut of placing before you for dissection
her turkies, roast pigs and surloins, her
protested admiration of your anatomical
skill is simply an act of oppression.
10 any good carver, whose lot has been
cast among the vora,ious tenants Of a
boarding house, We would say conceal
your gilt. Whisper not to your neigh
bors on the right hand, nor on the left
that you are brilliant operator with the
festive steel. DO not even criticise the
blunders Of those ferocious persons who
tear the delicacies of the season to pieces
by main force, and distribute them in
shapeless giblets to their guests.
If you do, the madam will be sure to
take the hint, and insist, with many fine
words--which, as Sancho Panza truly re-
marks, "butter no parsnips" your
taking the chair Feed in discreet silence
on viands unskillfully parceled out, rather
than get into penal servitude as an expert.
The complaisaut gentleman who consents
to sit at the head of boarding house ia
BILE is worse off with regard to culinary
comforts than the peripatetc pauper who
collects cold victuals in the forenoon and
warns them up over his cinder FIRE in the
evening.
The begsar has warm meal for moth.
iDr-the slave of the knife and fork pavs
round price for a daily ration of leav-
ings, and throws in his labor gratuious-
ly.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1864-04-29
An "Opium Hello in Java.

What spirituous liquors are for the Eu
ropean, opium is in Java for the Mahom
medan, and Chinaman. A European o
the lower Glasses may sit In his tap.roou
and debase himself by his sottisbness, bu
he does it with an uproarious nerriment
which would make one think be was real.
ly happy, spite of the headaches and de,
lirium tremens he may know are in store
for him; but in an opium hell all is as still
as the grave. A murky lamp spreads q
Pickering light through the low-roofed,
sufocating room, III which are placed
bale-bales, or rough wooden tables cover
ed with coarse mating, and divided iuto
compartments by means of bamboo reed
wainscoting. The opinm-smokers, men
and women, lost to every sense of mol
esty, throw themselves languidly on the
mating, and, their heads supported by a
greasy cushion, prepare to indulge in
their darling vice.
A small burning lamp is placed on the
table, so as to be easily reached by all the
degraded wretches who seek forgetfulness
or elysium in the fumes of opium. A
pipe of bamboo reed, with bowl at one end
to contain the opium, is generally made to
do service to two smokers. A piece of
opium about the size of pea, costs six
pence "a days wages); but it is sufficient
By its fumes to lull the sense of the smo-
ker. These fumes they inhale deliberate
ly, retaining them in their mouth as long
as they can, and then allowing them gra-
dually to exhale through the nostrils.-
After two or three inhalations, however,
the opium is consumed, and the pipe falls
from the hands of its victim At first
the smokers talk to each other in whis-
per scarcely audible, bat they soon become
still as the dead.
Their dull sunken eyes gradually be-
coming light and sparkling their hollow
checks seem to assume healthy round
ness; CLEAN of atsfaction-nay, of &C.
stacy -lightens up their countenances, as
they revel in imagination in those sensual
delights which are to constitute their Ma
hommedan Paradise. Euervated, languid,
emaciated as they are, in fact they seem
and feel for the time regenerated; and
though they lie there, the shameless and
impassive slaves of sensuality and lust,
their senses are evidently STEPPED in bliss.
Aroused, however, from their dreams and
delusions, the potency Of the charm ex-
hausted-driven from their hell by its
proprietor-see them next morning, walk
ing with faltering steps, eyes as dull as
lead, cheeks hollow as collins, to their
work.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1864-04-29
VOL. VIII.---NO. Is
My Wife is the Cause Of it.

1t is now more than forty years ago that
Mr.. L., called at the house Of DR.. T., one
very cold morning, on his way to H..
"Sir," said the doctor, "the weather is
very frosty-will YOU not take something
to drink before you start ?"
In that day ardent spirits were deemed
indispensable to warmth in winter.
When commencing journey, and at every
stopping place along the road, the traveller
always used Intoxicating drink to keep
him warm. m sfi.s,s.
"No," said Mr.. L., 81 never touch any.
thing of that kind, and will tell you the
reason; my aoife is the cause of 10.
III had been in the habit of meeting
some of our neighbors every evening for
the purpose of playing cards, We assem-.
bled at each others shops, and liquors
were introduced. After while we met
not so much for playing as drinking, and
| used to return home late in the evening
more or less intoxicated. My wife always
met me at the door affec.ionately, aud
when l chidtd her for setting up so lats
for me, she kindly replied:
81 prefer doing SO, for cannot sleep
when you are out"
"This always troubled me. wished in
my heart she would only begin to scold
me, for tseD could have retorted, and
relieved my conscience. But abe always
met me with the same gentle aud loving
spirit.
Things passed on thus for months,
when / at last resolved that I would by
returning much intoxicated, provoke her
displeasure so much as to cause her to lec-
ture me, when / meant to answer her with
severity, and thus, by creating another is.
sue between us, unburthen my bosom Of
its present trouble.
81 returned in such plight about four
o'clock in the morning. She met me at
the door with her usual tenderness, and
said:
"Come in husband have just boon
making a warm fire for you, because I
knew you would be cold. Take off your
boots and warm your feet and here is
cup of coffee"
"Doctor, that was too much. I could
not endure it any longer, and / resolved
that moment that would never touch an
other drop while / live, and l never will.
He never did He lived and Tied prac-
Using total abstinence from Intoxicating
drinks, in village where intemperanoa
has ragged as much as in any other in this
State
That man was my father, and that wo-
man my mother. The fact sb,ve rela-
ted were received from the doctor him
self, on visit to my native vi!lage uos
long since. 'r-
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1864-04-29
A Monkey in Church.

There was once an eminent clergyman
by the name OF Casaubon, who kept in his
family tame monkey, of which he was
very fond This animal, which was al
lowed its liberty, liked to follow the min
lister when he went out, but on the Sab
bath was usually shut up till his owner
was out of sight on his way to church, -
But one Sabbath morning, when the oler-
gyman, taking his sermon under his arm,
went out, the monkey followed him unob-
serced, and watching the opportunity while
his master was speaking to a gentleman
on the steps, ran up at the back of the
pulpit and Jumped upon the sounding
board.
Here he gravely seated himself, looking
round in knowing manner on the con-
gregation, who were greatly amused at SO
strange a spectacle. The services pro-
ceeded as usual, while the monkey, who
evidently much enjoyed the sight of 50
many people, occasionally peeped over the
sounding board to observe the movements
of his master, who was unconscious of his
presence. When the sermon comncnced,
many little forms were convulsed with
lauahter, which conduct SO shocked the
good pastor, that he thought it was his
duty to administer reproot, which he did
with considerable action of his hands and
arms.
The monkey, who had now become ia.
miliar with the scene, initiated every mo.
ton, till at last scarcely suppressed
smile appeared upon the countenauces OF
most of the audience. This occurred, too
10 one of the most solemn passages in the
discourse; and 50 horrible did the levity
appear to the good minister, that lie
launched forth iuto violent rebuke, every
word being enforced by great energy Of
action. ..
All this time the little fellow overhead
mimicked every movement with ardor and
exactness. The audience, witnessing this
apparent competition between the good
man and his monkey, could no longer re-
tain the least appearance Of conposure,
aud burst into roars of laughter, iu the
midst Of which one Of the congregation
kindly relieved the hnrrer of the pastor at
the perseverance and iGpiety of his flock,
by pointing out the cause OF the merit
ment. e .ttS srE. IA.
Casting his eyes upward, the minister
could just discern the animal standing gu
the end of the sounding board, and ges-
turing with all his might, when he found
it difficult to control himself, though high.
ly exasperated at the occurrence. He
gave directions to have the monkey re-
moved, and sat down to compose himself
and allow. his congregation to recover
their equaniuity while the ord.r was be-
ing obcyed. y tx 1, ~.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1864-04-29
Satin.

From an English paper we find the fol-
lowing:
"For some years past the beautiful ms
trous material called satin has been Danish
OIL from the list of fashionable fabrics, aud,
with few exceptions, has it been seen dur
ing a long period of time, either for out
door or for evening wear. Ia Paris, as we
frequently informed our readers, it has
again found favor with the fair leaders OF
fashion, and for many months it has again
been very popular. Now, the prejudice
which had set in against il in this country
is fast disappearing, and we see satins Of
the richest qualities aud most brilliant
dyes, ouce more reinstated, and draping
both old and young figures. So long has
it been banlshed, that it reappears almost
as novelty, and many are rejoicing in
its soft, graceful folds, and its superiority,
which in this respect, it holds over MORE
antique, just as though it were something
new--a fabric which had never before been
heard of. 1t is the m ost dressy of all ma
terials, and there is nothing which shows
off lace with such advantage but, al
though it is frequently worn during the
day, we think it better adapted tor even
ing toilcttes. AZ. -.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1864-04-29
How Statues are Made,

A correspondent of the London Reader
gives the following details regarding the
production of statues -
The soul ptor, having designed figure,
first makes a sketch of it in clay few
inches only in height. When he has sat-
isfed himself with the general attitude, a
cast is taken of his sketch, and from it a
model in clay is prepared of the full size
he designs for his statue, whether half the
natural height, life-size, or colossal. The
process of burning the clay, as it is called,
upon the strong iron ormatura or skeleton
on which it stands on its pedestal, and
the bending and fixing this arnaatura into
the form Of the limbs, constitute a work of
vast labor of a purely manual sort, for
whose performance, all artists able to af-
ford it employ the skilled workmen to be
obtained in Rome. The rough clay, rudely
assuming the shape of the intended statue,
then passes into the sculptor's hands and
undergocs bis most elaborate manipula-
ton, by which it is reduced generally after
the labor of several months) to the precise
and perfectly finished form he desires
should hearafter appear in marble. This
done, the .tormatore takes cast of the
whole, and the clay is destroyed. From
this last plaster cast again in due time the
marble is hewn by three successive work
men. The first gives it rough outline,
the second brings it BY rule and compass
to close resemblance with the cast, ard
the third finishes it to perfection.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1864-04-29

DANGERS OF PRECoCITY. Bartlett
mentions one hundred and sixty three
children endowed with extraordinary tai
ents, among whom few arrived at advanced
age. The two sons of Quintilian so Wanted
by their father, did not reach their tenth
year. Hermogenes, who at the age of
fifteen, taught rhetoric to Marcus Aureli-
US, who triumphed over the most celebra.
ted rhetoricians of Greece, did not die,
but at twenty four lost his faculties, and
forgot all be had previously acquired
Plea al Mirandola died ut thirty-two
johannes Secund at twenty-five, having at
the age of Is composed admirable Greek
and Latin verses, and become profoundly
versed in jurisprudence and letters. Pas
cal, whose genius developed itself at ten
years old, did not attain a third of q
century. In 1871, child was born at
Lubbock, named Henry Heinnecken, whose
precocity was miraculous. AT ten months
of age, lie spoke distinctly, at twelve learnt
the Pentateuch BY rote, and at fourteen
months was perfectly acquainted with the
Old aud New Testament. At two years he
was as familiar with Ancient History as
the most erudite authors of antiquity
Saussoa and Danvills only could. compete
with him in geographical knowledge. III
the ancient and modern languages he
was a proficient. This wonderful chi Id
was unfortunately carried off in his fourth
year. t
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1864-04-29
BEL AIR, MD FRIDAY MORNING, APRIL 90,

gar man is, the more does he obscure
and degrade an apology by self justifca
ton. 1t is polite to express an interest in
or admiration of that which is dear to 9th.
ers. 1t is sometimes more polite to &C
cept gift or courtesy, especially from
humble people, than to refuse it; and it
is polite to show the utmost kindness and
courtesy to those who have been reduced
by adversely. And it is sometimes more
than polite to interpose and shield anoth-
er person from modification, wounded
self-respect and loss of dignity,-4rt of
Conversation
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1864-04-29
0oetital.
NOTHING BUT LEAVES.

NOTHING BUT LEAVES.
Nothing but leaves the spirit grieves
Over wasted life. -.
. Sins committed while conscience slept,
Promises made but never kept;
Hatred, battle and srife-nothing but leaves |!
Nothing hut leaves mo garnered sheaves
OfLifs's fair ripened grain
Words-idle words for earnest deeds
We sow onr seeds-lo tares and weeds;
We reap with toll and pain-nothng but
leaves
Nothing but leaves Memory weaves
No veil to screen the past
AS we retrace each weary way, ,....
Counting each lost and msspent day
Sadly we learn the the truth at last-nothing
but leaves
And shall we meet the Master So
Bearing our withered leaves?
The Saviour looks forperfect fruit
We stand before Him-humbed, mute,
Waiting the word He Notwithstanding but
leaves
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1864-04-29

g. The "local" Of promising sheet
cup the country" solemnly inquiries: "ls
this the nineteenth century Iu reply
to our brother,in-ar,ns, we take pleasure
in stating that report to that effect pre-
walls extensively in this section Of the
country
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1864-04-29
A Hard Wind.

The Western States have been visited
with numerous hurricanes of late years
sometimes demolishing entire villages,
leveliug forests, and doing immense dam.
age generally. The town of NJ, in
Iowa, was once visited with one of those
squalls, aud among other antics performed
on that occasion was told me, and the
reader eau attach any degree of credsnro
to it he deems proper, the following:
Old Peter H lived in Que story
wooden house, of not very extensive di-
mensions; and when it was subjected to
the force of the wind its powers of resist
ance were insufficient to withstand so great
pressure, and il yielded the point with
out a struggle however, it was not up
set, or torn to pieces, but merely moved n
few rods. In the course of the journey,
the stove was upset and the fire spilled
out, and the danger of conAagration was
imminent. Old Peter was too much ex-
lifted to notice the removal Of his house
and, seeing tie necessity Of Immediately
applying water to the burning embers ON
the fluor, he seized bucket aud darted
out behind the house, when great was his
astouishment to find all the traces Of his
well oblterated. After looking in blank
astouishmenl moment, he called to his
wife: .,a,
"Sarah, I'll be blamed If the wind has
not blown the well clear out Of the lot!
There is not 80 much as a stone left - -
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1864-04-29

ALDERMAN GoBBra IN THE BuzzIMt
OF HIS FAMILY.-AlderLap Gobble--,
"Wh4t's that, Henlly? Read that sgain,
my dear" ~ =
Emily.-''Bya wonderful provision Of
nature, tbs camel is enabled To take 10 a
great supply of food, having been proyir
ded for that purpose with three stonr.
achs." g.@} rhs ,s@nfH q 1.e7Fi
Alderman G. --''Wondorfal provision
of nature 1 should just thiuk it was -.
Three stomschs! wish / was a eau
ell % "F sh@' wel
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1864-04-29

Dg- One striking difference between
"two-legged animals without feathers"
and two-legged animals with feathers is,
that the FORMER grind their grain and then
eat IL, whereas the latter eat the grain and
then swallow the millstoncs TO grind il, "
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1864-04-29

fG- It is a stern aud startling thing to
think INV often mortality stands ou the
brink of its grave without any inisgivings;
and Jet in this slipping world of strife, il.
the stirvcfhumau hustle SD rife, there are
daily s,uods to tell us that lie is dying
au ,ieu,h Is living Hups',
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1864-04-29

sS- A clerk having, put some eaadles
in cellar one day the proprietor told him
that he thought it was too damp place for
them, and that they would BE- likely 10
mould. "hikely TO mould!' replied The
clerk 'ff that is the case we had better
put our tallow there also, and perhaps ~
will mould into candles" rs 5t "A
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1864-04-29

fs- alter, bring me some c, RI"
said boarier t, green Irish servant
"Hey? said Paddy, leaning down to
catch the accent. ''No, no---&0rn P's re-
piled the guest ..lt ~
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1864-04-29
SMALL WARE,
BAUCH'S .s
RAW BONE PHOSPHATE
Unsurpassed for producing
Heavy Growth Of Corn Oats, Potatoes,
AND ALL SPRING CROPS,

Heavy Growth Of Corn Oats, Potatoes,
AND ALL SPRING CROPS,
And permanently enriching the Soil!
II contains the Fertlizing Properties Of
Guano, Bone, Stable Manure and Lime
DRODUCING in many cases larger
L crops by fifty per cent. than either of
the above articles, when USED separately.
1t is highly concentrated manure, be-
ing made from Bones containing all their
original animal matter. No Burnt Bones
are used.
1t has been used by thousands of far
mers in this State, with the highest salts
faction. 1t has proved perfectly reliable
substitute for "Peruvian Guano,'' being
sufficiently quick in its action on the
crops, and in all cases enrching the soil.
and it is permanent in its effects.
The demand last Fall was greater than
the supply. 1t would be well, therefore,
for farmers to send in their orders early,
either to the subscriber or to any of his
agents, from whom circulars can be OBJ
tanned, giving list of many persons who
have used il, and certificates. ---r'-
Price in Baltimore, $55 per 1000 lbs,
''..' Cash. - '''.''
GEORGE DUGDALE,
Sole Agent, No. los Smiths Wharf,
feb4-3m Baltimore.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1864-04-29
NEW GOODS,

THE undersigned have just received a
large and well selected stock Of Goods
suitable for the season. They are con-
stantly making up the neatest work. and
the newest and most fashionable style of
Bonrcts for the Spring and Sum-
2Si mer, to which they invite the atten-
Wy ton of the citizens of the town and
the surrounding country. They also de-
sire an occasional call from their Baltimore
friends, when they want something of ex-
ira style and finish, as they are aware that
the undersigned can and will take pleasure
in putting up work of that description.
In addition TO all styles of Bonnets,
they keep constantly on hand variety of
LADIES' AND GENTLEMEN'S
SMALL WARE, &c.,
Such as Ribbons, Laces, Gloves, Hosiery.
Suspenders, and many other articles in
the Notion line.
Thankful for the liberal patronage here
tofore given the firm, they expect by strict
attention to business to merit its continu-
ance.
NJ. J. WRIGHT s. MITCHELL,
Washington street, two doors north of
the Railroad, and next door TO Nixon's
Hotel, HAvRE-DE-GRAcE. sep25
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1864-04-29

Beg 4 wunan's heart is like the moon
1t changes continually, but always has
man in il,
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1864-04-29
COAL! COAL!

TNHE undersigned keeps constantly on
i hand all kin..s of WHITE and RED
ASH COAL, which he will sell by the
cargo or single ton.
JOSEPH M. SIMMONS,
jul7 Havre-de-G Grace, Nd.