Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1864-03-24
The Backward Cow Ride.

During The Revolutionary War, when
corps of the American army was en-
camped near the borough of Elizabeth
town, New Jersey, an officer who, by the
way, was more Of a devotee to Venus
than of Mars, paid his addresses to lady
of distinction, whom he was in tie habit
of visiting nightly. On the discovery Of
the repeated absence of the officer, and
Of the place where interviews with his
Dulcinea were had, some waggish friends
determined to play off a handsome trick
at his expense, which should deter him
from repetition of his visit.
The officer, it appears, rode very
small horse, Of the pony kind, which he
left united, with the reins over his neck,
near the door, in order to mount and ride
off without delay, when the business of
counting and kissing was over, and the
horse always remained until backed by
the owner without attempting to change
his position. On a certain dark and
gloomy night, when the officer had, as
usual, gone to pay his devotions to the
object Of his dearest affections, and was
enjoying the approving smiles of the love-
ly fair one, his waggish companions went
privately to the door Of the house where
the officer was, took his bride and sad
die from the horse which they sent away
placed the bride on the tail, the saddle
on the back, and the crupper over the
horns of quite old cow, who stood peace
ably chewing her cud, near the spot =
Immediately thereafter, they retired some
distance from the house, and separating,
raised a loud cry Of alarm, that the
enemy had landed and were marching in
to the village. Our hero, on hearing
this, took counsel from his fears, and
snatching hasty kiss, he shot out Of the
door with the velocity of musket ball,
and mounting into the saddle, with his
back toward the head of the COW, and
plunging his spurs keenly into her sides,
caused her to bawl out with excessive
pain, and she darted in her best gallop
towards the camp. The officer still ply
ing his spurs, with all his wine on board,
and finding himself hurried rapidly back
ward, maugre all his efforts to advance,
hearing the repeated Rawlings of the tor
tured beast-imagined that he was car
ried eff by magic, and roaring out most
Justify that the devil had got him, was
thus carried into the very center of the
camp The sentinels hearing the noise,
discharged their pieces and fed, and alarm
guns were ired-the drums beat to arms,
the officers left their quarters and cried
turn OUT with all the strength Of their
lungs. The soldiers started from their
sleep as if a ghost had disturbed their
dreams, and the whole body running halt
naked. as quick as possible, in gallant
dishabille, prepared to repel the terrible
invader. When, 10 the ludicrous sight
persented itself to their eyes of the gal
liant officer, mounted on COW with his
face towards her tail, ber tongue hanging
out, her sides CORY with the coughing Of
the spurs, and he himself almost deprived
of reason and half petrihed with horror
A loud roar of laughter broke from the
assembled band, at the rider and his steed;
and the whole corps gave three times
three cheers as l. bolted into camp.
He was carried to his quarters in tri-
umph, there to dream of lovers, meta.
morphoses, backward rides, sternway ad
vances, and alarms ofinvasion, and there
by garnish his mind with materials fol
writing splendid treatise on the move
adventure Of COW ride. ro'