, 1864-02-07
0uNMYBAGs RUNS THE SAVINGS
AND how EIE MADE OUT.

0MWNA
AND now HE MADE OUT.
MYRTLE MAas1ox.
No. 1909 MICHIGAN AvENuR.
CHICAGO, Feb. tth. J
Editors Chicago Tribune:
lam the victim Of misfortunes which come in
drovcs. No sooner AN safely out Of Que trouble
than plnnge headlong into another. That chronic
pedestrian, tho Wandering Jew, Is not moro cer-
ta1nly the victim Of circumstances than I. Ecee
In my usually benignant and d1gufded manner, I
was walking down The avenue On Thuradsy morn
1ng, revolving the situation IN East Tennessee in
my mind, and rapidly reaching the verge Of insaui
ty III my effort, VIXEN old Sir Per Cent (Do you
know Six Per Cent? He makes handsome thing
apecnlatfng In lecture tickesa.) stopped me and
eald: ''Got anything in the Savings Hank. Gunny-
bags7" replied in tho Affirmative.
'tWellI you had better take 1t out," he growled,
'sthey're running the Bank. knew they would
90 under. Serves Them right. Wouldn't advance
on my opera tickets"
The sudden announcement drove the situation
in East Tennessee out Of my mind with the rapid
ity Ct rallroad speed and in breathless stste Of
excitement, rushed to the Bank. One hundred
hLefiane, three Africans, one thousand male and
two Thousand female TentoEs and a Polnesian
q
moral excitement and phyaical discomfort, eve
~ Individual Of them bravely resolved on taking
out Ills deposit, even II thereby ho toppled down
the whole rational financial structure and sent the
country to emash- The Mileefans were not posi-
tive what was going on but got into the crowd to
be on hand in case 1t should brueeessazy.to punch
somebody head and were profuse in their inr1ta-
tions for somebody to tread on their coat tails.
The Africans were bound to t'bust dis yerc bank
Tach nj fER Tat1tr7 n Ead
els 3n his or her mind and had 1t bad The Poly
nehian was very quiet and tn an advanced stage
ef email hy into tho
and obtained al eligible situation On tha
lower step ct pre- isely hair past eight, With hugo
bedded In my RIBS ana her crinoline sltsh:!T Gle.
vated aborc Eay head. During the forenoon moved
one Of my arms when tho Teuton accused me Of
abSse afs Tsatoa eps Gaf F1sy nst
that my reverence for the exalted einrsctc. OF the
female se1 2nd the gentle innocence and angelic
ever prevent me- from talnpsring viii lie We,ker
vessels" The Teqton evidently mlsunderateod
gent aust Vatfor yoa IN me!n hoops!' "afadame,"
lrcplied, :" It would afford me tho most exquisite
pleasure 70 get ont OF these hoops but az al pres
At quarter past Twelve, the Tenton became pacl-
ned, policeman having cut away the hoops and
tasen them t. 1 19 ayo who II ho does ne ear
paet twelve got upon tfo SECOND step and asked
hc nnH by me- xeS eae as i a va xsh
aud waving It above bis head, in fr4nti: tone
commenced to explain:
ftaaks ze:tung. Ecrr Schneider, hc puts the tinf
x,sansigs in Ter county bonds, unit Hills Ter saEs
nit ter coupons on dcr:Horse Railroad, but be
iny mt Ee know, Mein Colt! Tha Bani, be- be-
eh; c hs shaFter mt he shange ter grconbacks on
mt ter S q IL ZeiluS1 be say run ter BanE."
.Ig1anced at the Tcuton knowingly and he nod
ded his head, and hy that subtle electrical conmu-
recognized IL hin fellow sufferer. 1t halepast
oLe reached the third step, but in tue ute, ven
ing nne ny hat had ase1 tef Gf Knocked
my watch bed nyss criously got into the pocket Of
semc one WHO couldn't show receipt 1os 1t. At
ler was ycfy mid man, benevolent lace, ineels
wor9 10 size Of lead pencils, and his whole form
rapidly assuming the shape Of long additioa t.
ne asked he l4tl,et g,ul1y what wanted. "1
t,a Let ne see yonr book. Is this your name on
Certainly, replied"
what is Youf nlmef" said he.
leSsa =, R nss ssSsfs saan sn H
Gan yoq write your names,'
could, having received unusual advantages In that
way IN my carly yonth." replied; and I at once
wrote ny name IN bold and atatcly characters,
young man for his lcvity.
., Ysa wi wil1 hnse e answer the following CUES.
how nueh1 II you hare daughters, are they mar. .
ned, and to wbomf and II cons, are lhsy Of good
man, and H. she been 2aecinateds Yopr vii also
state that yon do this Of yo1r own free will attend
ehu1sh regglaTly; DO not belong to the Fentsn
scl!esw3g-H Holssetn question. -.
Young mar replied, II think yon are trl-
dyeeh hsye amiy ofa isse Viz, ons us so1 sss and
two daughters who hare been brought up In the
way they should 60. an griered to say that one
living In tie great metropolis Of Peoria, and that
my son ia Of most excellent moral character never
having departed from the path Of virtue except
gary quite often he expects to 60 for soldier.
Of temperance, sometimes committing e1cesses ] on
ted In her youthful days and It took well. do
this oftny oWn trce Will and being heavy sleeper
e. a shass &c sss nsme Rss r. 5 5
ss 1s hai et not oTR beose o Ss
mate bragh Of Erin. On the schleswig Holstein
question am not 60 surc. 1fthe Morganasic mag
rtnee Of the protocol 70 the saic Law bad been III
Napoleon had not invented scandal against Lord
Palnerston. Ithink tho Prince Of Denmark would
not hare eaten behring's In the presence OF Mrs.
Wales, and thus the threatened invasion Of the
Zuyder Zee might hare been prevented
"An right" said the teller, 'yoa can have the
money" He paid It to me and clutclling tho
greenbacks in my hands started ont. In wedging
my way through the crowd 5lilesian accidentally
tr'pped me down and the Polynesian with the
small poI accidentally got my money into his
dentally punched an 1riahman II The ribs which
was the epeck Of wnr for which the three hundred
nilesians had waited nll day. rushed insaney
commenced making u run for Myrtle Mansion,
which, an proud to say. was eminently Success
iul. Last evening calculated the results Of my
run and they foot up as follows:
Ny Depoeit. .$5oo00.
Hat epot]cd- ..-......--...-...,.--.... Zoo.
hNch loft. 1e0.03
I'D or coat-tau. u.....................-.... CO.,
Total