The Portland daily press., 1864-12-26
MISCELLANY.
E.,s an bour in a Railroad Office.

of a ticket. The ticket clerk JERKS out TICK
ct aud jerks In the money almost In an in
slant, without a word, and the traveller gives
pIscs 20 the next conner, who perhaps has the
same destination, but who occupies much
more time In making his wants known, some
thing alter this style:
whats the fare to New York W Ffsg
"Four dollars"
SHOW long before you start ?" aoss
''rtn minutes"
Ah-sr-can you change hty dollar
'xes, sir" a sfs
solve me change in Boston money, tlaying
out the fly) and in five dollar bills, IL you
[Change Is made and the ticket thrown out
In AIN 81 second Of time.l 81 $40 fs.f
ID, you ges to New YORK as early now as
usuai?"
Eyes, SIR" ~ sA g
"Wnat time does the Filadelfy train leave
to- morrow morning? @ 4ks
BY this time the Querist had gathered M his
bank notes, folded mem up, put them smooth
ly into pocket book, poked his umbrella in
70 the stomach of q heated individual from
the rural districts who wal waiting nervously
behind him, and by the delay caused the col
lection OF half dozen applicants for tickets.
Mkt comes the countryman's turn:
tBreathlessly1-"T Ticket tor Boston, 81,
You ale In Boston now, sir"
90 p'Sme,on 1ssI.a hal hal q money! nome
"Forty-fve centsw (waiiiugior snow Oh
funds
ayes; wal, I'll take one ticket."
By this time The gent from the rural district
comprehends the pay-in advance principe
adopted al the well regulated railway stations
aid fishing Into the profound depths OF his
pantalooos pocket withdraws In a capacious
hand. a miscellaneous collection, which from
a hasty glance appears to be composed Of a
piece Of cavendsh tobacco, lead pencil, a
piece Of red chalk, large jack knife, political
med Il, leather shoe string, . couple Of but
tons, = suspender buckle and some change.
From tbs latter q twenty-6v cent piece,
two half dimes, two three-cent pieces and four
cents are laboriously extracted aud deposited
on the counter. from which they are rapidly
swept BY three or four dextrous passes OF the
tn c'erk, who turns to serve lady.
Il want a ladys ticket to Providencer- de
posting at the same time five dollar note.
Clerk throws out gladys ticket" which
bears a striking similarity TO and would in
factbe called a twin brother to q tgentleman's
ticket aud also some change at the same
time. Lady cautiously examines q bank note
she has received in return-''Is this a good
billY' 4d ss as ~ - g
Lady retires perfectly satisfied. The next
conner is an illustrious exile, whom we have
every reason to suppose has recently Jared
surlptuously upon repast In which onions
figured conspicuously as vegetable, and
moderate priced whiskey as the principal bev-
erags. .ssig q 49,. sss-'-s IN Y Y
aSaurre what. is the price Of a ticket now
to Nee Yarrk P" W 80 4se age 81 aI79T ss--les
"Deck passage, two dollars and a haiGp Z
"Wouldn't We take q dollar and seventy
five? Shure it's all the money I've got at all,
at alb =
mol two dollars and ffty cents.D e. swan 3
lPersuasiyely) 'iShure, wouldn't ye take
two dollars ?" 81 s "a 49,
mot a cent less than two fifty. lEmpbati-
callyl Pass out your money or pass onl'' g
Pat, finding his barney and persuasion of
no use 10 this instance, counts out his cash.
which the quick eye Of the clerk soon discov.
ers TO be little short OF the required amount.
"Taree cents more"
The stray three cent piece Is reluctantly
dropped trCm Pats warm palm, and the indi-
vidual who succeeds anxlousiy inquiries "what
time the five O'Clock train leaves" and is seri-
ously informed TAT sixty minutes past fournp
The next inquiries HAS Mr.. Smith bought
ticket for this TRAMP"
Cant say sir; don't know him. nv, T.
70, he's dark complexoned man, had on
dark oyercoat, and an umbrella under his
arm"
la c1usideratiou of the fact that about fifty
"daIk scompiexioned" individuals, with dark
overcoats on, had purchased tickets of the
CLERK, some having umbrellas under their arm
aud some net, IL is moi very extraordinary
that he does not recoilect which one is. Mf.
Smith
All the time these negotiations are going
on, eager interrogators on the outer circle OF
crowd about the Office are propounding ques-
ttlas, aud a running fire OF them and replies
I'LL up every possible pause.
When does the next train start ?"
Ten minutes of Ave." baa b. ~ rs .sife
"Say you! what do tax tie Max6eld P" a. si
'S3venty-tive cents"
SdiIor-.Pnrser, give us card to New
Be iford." Slaps down gold piece, sweeps
tcfet and change into the crown of bis hat,
taxes blte of the weed, and rolls of to a
car well "torrard.n So
I'D res this train stop at L ?" - -sa.. ~ 7sI \.
IN J; this Is the express t.ain.n M 81
(which one does p
O'clock" "a
1T ckst- 'a'arf to Providence" 35QG i
How OIL is the half ticket?"
"Hey?" 80 80 avts 1890 q
~. Hoy old is the child you want the half
"rWeen seven aud eight.
rs t0is Tue DoyF' pOlnHng TO lad of
about eleven, who was endeavoring u make
himself look as short as possible, BY crooking
his legs and resting his chin on the counter.
"Yes that's him; suppose you only charge
half price for boys. ~ = ~
Full price for him, sir.n e ~
Full pricel why he's only boy; yer hadn't
ought to charge full price,"
big enough to occupy seat, sir; full price
Il you please."s ~ rs . -
Tee applicant reluctantly draws out the
money, and the boy grows some eight or ten
iaches in stature Ia as many seconds.
Wicket for New York; says another,
THROWN, down ten dollar note. The clerk
gives rapid glance at the bank note, followed
Dy keen, searching one at the applicant, and
then replies:
'Connterfeitp "a aA TTosr III
The dropping Of the upper jaw, the blank
and stupeded amazement of the latter at this
announcement proves at once the official
IN igms ut was correct, and that the applicant