davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-08-25
q Court Scene.

There is an attorney practlcIn@ IN our
courts who has attained a great notorlety,
among numerous other things, for bully
ing witnesses on the opposite side of ca
ses when he is concerned. As it would
not be polite to give his full maine right
out in the crowd, we will merely call him
"Waykc," for short.
There was a horse case III the Justices
Court, one day, in which Wayke hap
rcned to be engaged a slow and easy
witness had been called to the stand by
the plaintiff, who, in a plain, staightfor-
warded manner, made the other side of
the case look rather blue. The plaintiff 5
attorney being through, Wayke COM
menced u regular cross-examination,
which was cut short in this manner
swell, what do you know about horse
you horse doctorP" said the tcr6aridn,
in his peculiar contcmptuous and over
bearing manner.
"No, / don't pretend to be horse doc
tor, but | know a good deal OF the nature
of the beast"
"That means to say that you know a
horse from a jackass, when you see
them" said Wayke, in the same style
looking knowingly at the Court, and
glancing triumphantly around the crowd
of spectators, with telegraphic expires
sion, which said, Now, I've got him on
the hip"
The intended victim, gazing intently
at his legal tormentor, drawled out
"Oh, ye-as-just sod 'seeer tohe
you for a horse !" r.
The Supreme Court of the United
States could not have preserved its gravl-
through the scene that followed The
lick back produced a regular stdmPde'
and everybody was convinced that what
ever the attorney might be, the witness
was ''h0sS."
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-08-25
NO. a75

ure to which he looked for the preserva-
tion of his property. He farmed about
200 acres ct land. His barns were full
of grain, his pastures were dotted with
sheep aud cattle, and forty welI-fed swine
were gathered in the rear of his corn
cribs. He was emphatically man Of
plenty and of substance. When the reb-
els came he walked out to their lines,
with a damask linen napkin affixed to his
walking cane The first rebel soldier he
encountered he requested him to show
him to the commanding officer. He was
passed under guard to the object of his
search.
General" said he, II am warm
sympathizer with the South. l heartily
wish success to this invasion and to your
forces My object in seeking you out is
to ask that you and as many of your staff
as will accept the invitation will make my
house your headquarters during your.
stay here. My house is yonder on the
hill' (pointing to fine old-fashioned
mansion, with modern additions, with
long roe of hay ricks on the back
ground)
"You sympathize with the South, did
you say" queried the General.
every earnestly, sir, and always have
done So"
The rebel general beckoned to SER
geant who stood near him. "Bring
musket for this man." said he, "and take
him in the ranks"
The "sympathizer' opened wide his.
eyes, but stood mute with horror. He
couldn't see il" in that light He STAN
mered out at last, cob! [ didn't mean
that, General. | don't want to fight. 1
want to entertain you and your staff
while you remain here, and to show you
that l am your friend" e..
The rebel general contemptuously in
formed him that they interprised sympa-
thy only in its literal sense. He had
claimed to sympathize with them, and
they intended to avail themselves of his
good will a string of wagons was
trotted out, driven to the sympathizer's
property, and in the same afternoon he
was stripped of everything. The rebels.
carried off all his cattle, sheep, hogs and
smaller live stock, removed all his hay
and wheat crop, leaving his barns utterly
empty. The cavalry horses were turned
into his growing oats, and his corn was
cut for fodder for the stolen stock while
on the march. The sympathizcr was de-
tanned until all was done, and was then
released with thanks for the sympathy he
had manifested.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-08-25
Fate of Rebel Sympathizers.

1t is matter of congratulation that
the Secessionists of Maryland were the
principal sufferers in the recent raid
Supposng that their reasonable conduct
towards our Government would insure
them the kindest treatment from the IN
vadng force, they did not move their
horses or cattle to place OF safety =
They found, much to their surprise, no
doubt. that the rebels do not respect
those who have not the pluck to join the
Southern cause. The result was that
these very secessionists lost all their
stock. their valuable horses, and were
ulundered alike with Union people. We
copy the following from the Philadelphia
North America1, Of the l4th inst:
SERVED HIM RTaHT.-A gentleman
just arrived from Hagerstowu yesterday
furnished our reporter with au item go
ing to show the spirit and temper OF the
invading rebels. When the rebel horde
appeared in front of Hagerstown, one OF
its principal citizens undertook meas
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-08-25
A Spirited Fight between Two Girls at
Church,

The St. Joseph (3Iissouri) Herald of
July % tells this story:
"0n last Sabbath, while church was
being held about six miles north of Al
bany, Gentry county, party of the mill
tia entered the place to secure horses with
which to enter the service under the call
of Gen Fisk \ Union girl promptly
came forward and placed her horse at the
service of the boys, aud also pointed out
to them another fine steed, which she re-
marked was the property of a secessioEist
lady friend of hers \ Union trooper
was soon astride of the 'contraband,' and
was about to leave with him, when the
lady owner made her appearance and pro-
tested against giving him up.
"The Union girl urged the soldier to
60 along; she had voluntarily contributed
her horse, and insisted that the secesh
horse should also do duty. At this the
rebel girl applied all sorts of opprObrious
epithets to the Union girl, who in turn
became angry and knocked her opponent
fat on the ground and then jumped up
on her and pounded away at terrible
rate. DIR. Wills, OF that vicinity, hnally
parted the Amazons, but they didn stay
parted, and were soon fighting each other
again, accompanying their blows with
screams of defiance. Their gay Sunday
dresses were soon in shreds; long, beauti-
full trcsses of hair were mixed with blood
from dainty noses, ETC. The bystanders,
despairing of putting an end to the row,
formed circle, and seated themselves to
enjoy the exhibition in regular prize-ring
style. The combatants fought long and
well, until Miss Union seized Miss Secesh
by the throat, when she fell to the
ground and gave up the battle. The
parties were then duly cared for by their
friends.
"There is no fiction about this. 1t ac-
tually occurred at the time and place re-
lated above as several Of the Gentry boys
now here can testify"
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-08-25
The Hard.rack Line.

A Western correspondent with Sherman s
army writes:
An old lady of the Partington school was
found. the other day. in terrible state OF
CONSERVATION on the approach of our forces
TO this point. Johnston's racers had passed
through the neighborhood, and everything,
even the poultry, pork, and cattle, had heen
taken with the malaria of "falling back. "
The old lady was left entirely alone, deplora-
bly wringing her hands, with poverty as her
only companion, and it strongly apparent
even in her speech. She viewed first one
hearty, Jolly, fat-sided "Yank," then another,
rs much surprised at their gift of CAB as their
lack of horns, when one, au enormously huge
Buckeye stepped into the yard to quench
his thirst and iill his caniecn at dilapidated
specimen of a we'll Say he:
allow ase yoH, Auaty !"
"Tolabie aiIin, JIG now"
"Wc'ee got here at last"
''Whcre did you come from? Er yeI
kooktrS or fiakerS, or is yer shermimcs? !"
"There are some boys about who might,
reckon, hook chicken or two: but we'er
all Buckeyes, in the pot
Lord. you don't say So I've heard tell
of trees that bore them ar nufs, bu1 never
seed any afore How'd you git here!"
"WelI, if Uncle Abe wants any help, he
Just sings opt to our Governor. up in Ohio
and theu JolGny Brough shakes the trees
Just a. many as he wants let 60 all holds
xHd roll right down here on the hard-tack
line"
'.Fore God, no! Mother new line! How
many lines has you'uns all got We'nns
almos' taxed t'death already mother line
ii hang US all, sure"
"IIaint you folks got about how much of
this as you want!" says Buckeye.
sGot! We isn't got nithin.' Done loss
all We ever had got. don't sec what you
'uns all want, way down here to Georgy."
I'VE come down here to stop this muss.
When we get through with old Johnston
his army will have chance to 60 homo
and sec their relations"
"But the General says you'uns done fight
fair. Your Shermines keep troublin' Of
him, and showing him, in front; and your
hookerS keep a runnin' onto his eends with
your thinkers"
Good erening .finkcrs,'' said Buckeys,
and away he went, giving room for some 9th
er more quizzical and mischicyous than HIM
self
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-08-25
,~A big bully of an Englishman was

s9 A big bully of an Englishman was
lately in a crowd of his countrymen,
taunting an American, and wanting to
know why the North had not whipped
the South long ago? The Rev. Doctor
McClintock, of the NJ. L. Church Of New
York, who happened to be present, asked
Permission to answer the question
i'Sir," said he, ssthe reason why we have
hot whipped them is because they are
dmerfeahs-had they been Br'tons, we
would have done it in six months =
Bull, for the time at least, stopped his
bellowiDgs:
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-08-25
A Fable with a Moral,

Once upon time a Southern preacher
said TO his slave: "Peter, how did you
like my sermon this morningW NAh,
massa, berry much! You look ies like a
lion" Lion, Peter? Why, you never
saw a lion" "Oh, yes, massa I seed
him. Tom rode him dewr to water, by
here, ebery day" "Why, Peter, that is
jackass, and not lion." "Well, mas
so can't help it. OATS jest de way you
look."
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-08-25

psy The most tender hearted man we
ever saw was shoemaker who always
shut his eyes aud whistled when be ran
his awll into a soul
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-08-25

reg Why is man eating soup with e
fork like another kissing Els sweetheartY
Because it takes SO long to get enough of
it.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-08-25
Published by Theodore Schoch.

TERNS-Two dollars year IN advance-and II no
nad before the end OF the yeaI TWO doars and hlty
cts will he charged. :,
No naner discontinued until all arreaages are paid,
bxcept AZ the option OF the Editor
TPaJyertiSemeuts # one square of (eigEt lnesl or
,exs one or three insertions 81 So Each additional
tasertion so cents Longer ones in proportion.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-08-25
JOB PRINTING,
OF ALL KINDS,

Executed in the highest style OF the Art and on the
most Reasonable terms.
The weekly union record., 1864-11-12
The Presidential Election.

The election on Tuesday last passed off on
this coast, and, so far as We can learn, in the
Atlantic States, in an extraordinarily quiet
manner. But, though there were few visible
tokens OF excitement, it nevertheless existed,
all the more intense that ii was smothered.
The declaration OF Copperhead orators and
newspapers that, if .faHiy beaten, they would
submit, left rs to infer that they, like the Sc
cessionists Of the South. had concluded TO 20
through the formaliy Of al election. Then, If
the majority rule" worked into their hand+,
well and good; but, if not, and Abraham Lin
coin should be elected. hey would hunt up a
preteIt for revolution declare that the election
was not fan, or some such thing. This was
the inference they desired the people to make
from their declaration or covert threat. 1t
now remains TO be seen whether they will cry
unfair" aud inaugurate resistance TO the
authorities in the North, and thus openly ally
themselves with JEFF Davis according to John
s. Berry's programme; or whether they will
acquiesce in the will of the majority to as great
on extent as possible wi hout breaking up their
quasi alliance with Dixie Time will show.
Let Us bhe our time, and We shall yet see ye
great Copperhead make its expiring wriggle.
The weekly union record., 1864-11-12
NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.
Administrators Sale.

ENSTATE OsIYMAN BRISTOL. DECEASED.
IL In accordance with an or,ier q the Probate
Court Of Butte County, made on the 2oth day cf
September. 1854. viii sell At the Court House
door at 0rpvile. on the eth day Of December lSst
TO the highest bidder. the following Heal Estate be
longing to the Estate of lyman Bristol deceased.
btcck ihirsy-tour tS4l block ihrty-ive tSsl bis-k
ihrty-slN tS6-) block idyty-Sevcn (S7) block ihir
iyeighi (S>.l block thiViy-niae 60 } block fr;y
i've t45) bleeS fortysiN t46) hieck forty seven
CD block forty eight ls>l block fcriy-nins lif)
block ht1y (5o.l block dfty-oue (5l) Neck fy-tWo
t52l block hty-thnee I5sl block ffty-taur l5s.l
block hfiy-tive (5S.l bloek ify.nne lse block
sixty l6o-l block siNty-one [6l ] laid down on the
raAP q, TIE Carrolton Estate OF the town q Ore-
VILE AlSe. claim 10 the Bald Rock Eanch On
Berry Greek. Bidwell Township. County Of Bate.
AlSe place known - the Small Ranch, near
BSld Rock. Bdwel Township. County of Bette
containing about zoe scTVS. Also, a Pitch Ranch.
near Niu>hew, Butte County. Also. = Pitch Ranch
m BadweN Township Also. Ranch in NoGuiaiB
Meadows, Fiuma> County. known as Rice \ Ben
ner Ranch. Also Ranch on Butte Greek Ham
ilton Township, County Of Butte described a. isl-
lows; Bounded on the West hy Butte Crcek on
the North by land owned hy Seneca Ever. on the
East by land owned By Cock on the south hy Rice
lAtlleaeld, containing SSfao-es more or csS. The
above land Viii be sold sabcct TO the approval OF
the Probate coari Of Battle county; ten per cent g.
be paid down. and the remainder On the condrma-
iion OF the sale and execution u deed. Any Kind
OF legal currency viii x resolved in payment
I. VAN ORDEN.
Administrator Of the estate OF Lyman Bristol a. g.
The weekly union record., 1864-11-12

ONE could almost believe the following pas
sage. from one of Maeaalay's most celebrated
essays, to have been propbeically written for
the benefit and wholesome instruction Of the
Peace press and party Of our country. The
world Is of opinion, he says. in spite Of critics
like these, that the end Of fencing is to bit, that
the eDd Of medicine is to cure, that the end of
war is to conquer AMI iba, those means are
the most correct which best accomplish these
ends
The weekly union record., 1864-11-12

DAVIS STRAlrs-In reference to the recent
visit Of JEFF Davis 10 Macon, Georgia, an
exchange remarks:
These visits Of Davis to the far South furnish
one kind Of landmarks BY which We may reca-
pitulate the decay Of the rebellion, or st least
The restriction Of its limits Ia the spring Of
Iee-. when our armies we're beginning to press
down toward Alabama and Mississippi. Davis
made visit 10 bis own Stale to stir I'd the
people AT that time be had the choice Of
three routes, w: the grea, Southern road
through Knoxville. Chattanooga. etc: the
middle route, through Augusta, Atlanta, etc:
the interior Southern route. by Macon, etc
tie went by Chattanooga OF that occasion.
and could then go TO bis home II Mississippi.
In 1868. after Bragg's defeat, be made auo;hsr
tour, bat al that time be was restricted to t.ro
routes, the Chattanooga Route being closed
against him, and be could no longer 80 10 his
home in Mississippi. for the Yankees were
there. Now, in o64, he is again on tue tramp,
but be Is limited on this occasion 10 4 siaals
road lie must go by Macon. OF not go at al,
Both Chattanooga and Atlanta are barred
against his progress. Aud be is not only De
prlved OF his ability TO 90 10 Mississippi, but il
would be very hazardous experiment for him
to trust himself anywhere in Alabama north
of the Montgomery Railroad
Thus We may be able TO trace. even 10 these
compulsory pilgrimages of the rebel chief, The
constantly reeeding limits Of his power. 1t
viii not be long, We trust, before tie lhigd and
last route OF travel NOW open viii be closed by
new flank movement of Sherman, and then
he will be unable 10 penetrate Georgia al all.
The weekly union record., 1864-11-12

PIERRE SOULE IN MExIco-WHAT FoR .
Our latest Mexican news reports the arrival OF
Pierre Soule at Vera Cruz on the 22d of Sep
tember. This conspicuous rebel, it will be
remembered, was formerly Senator Of the
United States from Louisiana, and was. as
poor Pierce's mischief making Minister to
Spain, the principal contriyer of the famous
Ostcnd manifesto on the Cuban question.
Since the outbreak of the rebellion, he has
been fitting about from one side of the Atlantic
to the other, like the Flying Dutchman, as a
sort of wandering ambassador of jeff Davis.
He has gone to Mexico at last, probably to try
to patch up some sort of alliance, offensive and
defensive. between the Confederacy and the
Emperor Maximilian: and in this capacity we
may expect, before long, to hear of this mystic
rious Soule and his mysterious movements
agaiu.-N. Y Herold Od 18th
The weekly union record., 1864-11-12
Coming Down

The New York Herald of recent date has
an article on the general coming down" of
gold and everything else. Although the Her
aid is more variable and fuctuating than even
the gold market, or anything else, We make
the following extract from its article:
Everything is coming down, and coming
down with q crash. The reason Of all this is
that the rebellion is coming down. Early has
come down already. Grant will move presently.
and then Lee viii come down. Then Sherman
viii come on Hood like a thundcrbolt ard
and nothing will be left Of the so called Con
icderacy but few starved negroes, a good deal
OF waste paper, and the mortal remains of JEFF
Davis. Then Maximillian viii come down
from the throne now tOtteriug upon French
bayonets. Louis Napoleon, Who, according to
foreign correspondents, begins to feel very
weak, will come down also Lord Palmerston
will come down, with Earl Russell at bis heels
We shall have the Jack and Gill business all
around A great many people, at home and
abroad, on thrones and off thrones, at the
North and at the South, copperheads and
abolitiOnisis, bond and free white and black,
will certainly come down when the rebel rag is
hauled to the ground, and the flag of our
Union goes up and floats proudly from every
flagstaff on this great continent"
Preliminary to the final and complete coming
down Of the bogus Southern Conlcderacy, its
last remaining strong support, the Copperhead
Democracy, gave way and came down with q
crash on Tuesday, Nov. 6th. 1864. Since
then, the Stiffness of death pervadcs the wreck
and ruin of the mushroom concern yclept mod
ern Democracy; but there are no mourners
Those who "stood from under in the eleventh
hour have no expressions but those of thanks
giving and JOY at their providential escape
from the dust and dirt of the ruin
We hope Father Abraham will now come
down like thousand of brick" on all who, n
any way seek to interfere with his plans in
manner to retard the triumph of the Union
arms and the restoration of peace-roal peace
in all the land. Come down" upon the rebels
and their aders and abettors everywhere, with
last vigorous eiiort-then the power Of the
Lord" viii come down, and secession will go
down, never again to raise its bead in these
United States So mote it be.
The weekly union record., 1864-11-12

MoRE REBEL ISHuNAsITY.-A detachment
of the Thirteenth Missouri Cavalry, which
captured several guerrillas aud their horses Dear
Fayette, Missouri, recently, found the scalps
of white men fastened to the bride of one
OF the horses.
The weekly union record., 1864-11-12

POISONING SOLDIERS At BENIcN-A dis
patch TO Adjutant General Evans, Tuesday,
from Quartermaster Morris, at Benicia, has the
following intelligence:
"One whole company at the barracks poi
soned. No deaths. Investigation is being
had, aud woe betide the guilty party. have
a water contractor (Copperhead) in irons"
The weekly union record., 1864-11-12

TEE PIRATE FLORIDA CAPrUREp.-A Bos-
ton dispatch Of Nov. slh says: The United
States steamer hearsarge arrived here last
night. She brings. as prisoners of war, the
chief engineer and boatswain Of the Alabama
and the surgeon and l6 men of The pirate Flor
ida. The latter vessel arrived at Boil BAY
San Salvador, On The night of the 9th of Sep
tember. The Massachusetts was also waiting
in the harbor for coal. Capt Collins deter
mined to sink the Florida in port. and at 3
o'clock started for her. shenlng her on the
quarter without doing great damage. Capt
Collins now called out to them to surrender or
he would sink her The First Lieutenant Of
the Florida replied that, under the circum
stances. be would surrender. The Florida was
to~ed to sea. Her Captain, Morris. and one
half his crew, were ashore. No lives were
lost. Twelve Of her officers and IS Of her
crew were captured.
The weekly union record., 1864-11-12

JAMES II. HARDIN. citizen of Kentucky,
has been sentenced TO twenty years at hard
labor for engaging in treasonable designs
against the Government.
The weekly union record., 1864-11-12

a CITIZEN of Washington has sent one hun
dred dollars to General Grant, to be given to
the man who first unfurlS our flag in Richmond
The weekly union record., 1864-11-12

Tbs Polish rebellion seems TO be eompletslv
qgieted. Order reigns in Warsaw; but. though
there are theaters open, the public fock. most
OF all, once week to The station Of the railway
TO g Peiersburg- That fashionable promenade
collects each time from four to eight thousand
persons There Is music there also, but of a
particular klpd-weeping, sobs and groans
nat promenade. or tha, amusement call it
what you viii. is named the adiea TO the ban.
lsaed political criminals. This fashion has
been but lately introduced by the agitators.
Although the day fixed for The departure Of the
conveys Is always kept secret, yet the whole
OF aTsaw hears Of it in the night. and from 4
oeiocS IN the morning the station is filed by a
compact mass. Only few dozen persons are
sent oii at time. snd YET thousands 60 to bid
them faFewelL- Exca1ask.
The weekly union record., 1864-11-12

IIooD AND SHERNAN.-The Stockton Inde
pendent seems to think that the rebel Hood
by marching his army into Tennessee, has got
it into a position where it cannot extrcate
itself. Such, indeed, does appear to be the
case. Hood has a superior force in his front,
commanded by the veteran Thomas, aud d
large force IN bis rear to cut off his retreat,
while Sherman is making for Atlanta to com
mcnce offensive operations in that direction.
The head and TIE heart Of the rebellion is un.
questiorably in deadly peril. Grant seems to
be master Of the situation in Virginia, ard
Sherman controls the vital point in Georgia.
If these great chieftains can maintain their
foothold, farewell to the JEFF Davis Bubble
it will burst as suddenly as many other bubbles
which have for a time attracted the eye of the
world, and disappeaTed-at FIRST seeming to be
possessed OF great vitality, but, like meteors,
passing from sight before the fact is realized
that they are only eyancscent vapor, after all.
The weekly union record., 1864-11-12

LAPLAND is for sale. 1t has been suggested
that the British Government purchase it for
penal settlement. 1t would furnish but cold
comfort for criminals
The weekly union record., 1864-11-12

A DICTIONARY of slang words is 10 be soon
published in London. The author has devoted
ten years to the task, aud has collected 10000
slang words and phrases.
The weekly union record., 1864-11-12

JoHS Lynch. the new Repu blican member
of Congress from the Portland lMaiDe) district
was born there Of Irish parents, and began life
as a cart-driver. aud has worked himself up to
the position Of an intelligent and wealthy
merchant and bolored ci,lzeu
The weekly union record., 1864-11-12

THE late billiard match at Boston, between
r. NJ. Wilmarth, of that city, and Henry Eaton.
of California, for 81 900, was won by Wllmarth
by seven hundred aud eighly,two points.