The Union. [volume] (Georgetown, Del.) 1863-1866, 1864-02-26
agit, attisdunt, aud aJnmor.

the recruit understood his duty, walked to
the post and passed by meeting with no re-
sistance or objection. Looking at the sentry
for moment, he asked him if that was the
way he performed his duty.
ooh, Pm performing my duty" was the
reply. "What did you let me pass for p
Didn't the sergeant give you the countersignS"
81 know nothing Of your countersign," was
the reply; 'but the sergeant told me that the
first man who came along would give me
brandy and wine, and not a drop of either
have seen, although half dozen have pas
sed me. Hang the wine, I only want the
brandy" The password was "Brandywine,"
and the new aspirant for military honors had
only comprehended it in the sense probably
most familiar to him.
PHYSICIAN took young student to see
patient who was confined to his bed "Sir."
said the physician to the sick man, ''you have
been imprudent; you have eaten oysters"
The patient admitted that he had. Return
ing home, the student asked the doctor how
he discovered that the man had eaten oysters.
'Why," replied the doctor, II saw the shells
under the bed" A few days after, the stu
dent was sent to visit the same patient. He
soon returned, however, saying that he had
been kicked out Of the house fer telling the
patient he had been imprudent he had eaten
horseAesh. "Horseqesh, you young fool
what do you mean ?" cried the doctor. "Be-
cause sir, saw saddle and IA pair of stir
rups under the bed'
VlLLEMoNT, in his "Vie Paris" relates
an anecdote of certain legitimist bully,
Choquart by name, who is said to have been
subsidized by the Count do Chambord. He
had gone to provoke certain contractor to
fight duel at a time when the person in
question was engaged in pumping water. He
took the bully under his arm and pumped
upon him.
"Can you imagine such a rascal?" Choquart
would say. 81 went as a gentleman to pro-
pose an affair of honor, and he pumped upon
me-"
~4sAh; ;thewreteh !" someeAe observed, land
did he pump long timer"
For quarter of an hour sir, and could
not move. The rascal was as strong as an
Auvergnat."
A LoGIcAN and swimmer, says Persian
story, "were in boat together. Said the
logician to tho swimmer, Have you ever
logic? p i never heard the name till now,'
was the reply. Alas ? said L., then has
half your life been drowned in Ignorance!
just then squall came up. Said S. to L.,
Have you ever learned anything Of swim
ming?' Nothing but logic was the reply.
'Alasy said s., then the whole Of your life is
drowned 2"
The moral Of this, our teacher told us, is
that logicians sometimes get beyond their
depth.
CUSTOMS IN 1775.
Man to the plough,
Wife to the COW,
Girl to the yarn,
Boy to the barn,
And your rents will be netted."
CUSTOMS II 1855.
"Msu tally ho,
Miss piano,
Wife silk and satin,
Boy Greek and Latin,
And you'll all be gazetted."
A SHIP belonging to gentleman named
Heaven, sailed from Greenock to Canada,
with cargo of Goals. Shortly before she
left, it was ascertained that the owner had
not sent down sufficient lading for the vessel,
and the agent started his clerk by the order,
Telegraph to Heaven for more GOALS" The
youth to whom this command was addressed
almost tainted on the spot.
The best thing in the way of an ADVERTISE
ment, the most graphic and comprehensive,
was the advertisement of jamie 0'Foggerty
for his wife Jane, who had left his board
they had no bed :"
Missing, from Killarney, Jane o'Fog-
yerty she had in her arms two babies and a
Guernsey COW, all black, with red hair and
combs behind her ears, and large
black spots all down her back, which squints
lwfully."
V1scouEr S. once met NJ. dc ", and said
% him--"Is il true, sir, that in house where
am thought to be witty, you said that had
40 wit at all ?" NJ. de V. answered my
ord, there is not word of truth in the mat
er, never was in house where you were
heught to be witty, and Inever had occasion
o tell anybody you had no wit at all"
THERE may be seen at the present time, in
Alfreton. England placard from tailor.
Who. in calling the attention Of the public to
he fact that he intends commencing clothes
lub assures all who may favor him BY be-
oming members, Of having 'geod charges,
md very moderate article"
CHrIpKHs have remarkable ideas sometimes.
rhereis Juvenile in Boston, who upon re
-iring to bed one night not long since said
'Ma. want to pray" whereupon her moth
sr helped her out and she got upon her knees
ind prayed thus 20 God, want my father.
% Quit chewing sohacc7. FIR ehTis''s sake
Arnsn tgs--aE