American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1864-07-27
wIr AND wxsDoM.

WHAT is the difference between kind
Of butterfly and matron +? One is a
moth and the other a mother.
THE Mess makers are the best suppor-
ters of newspaper-they pattern-ize every
one that falls into their hands.
GIL commit you; you're nuisance"
said a justice to noisy fellow in court.
Nobody has right to commit "a nui-
sance," was a cool reply.
WEALTH, rank and beauty may
form brilliant setting to the diamond,
but they only expose more nakcdly the
false glare of paste.
! Iva country church is this epitaph =
Here lies the body of James Robinson
and Ruth, his wife, and underneath
this text: Their warfare is accomplish
edw
Miss TULIP, in speaking of old bach
elors, says that they are frozen out old
gardners in the fowerbed of love. As
they are useless as weeds, they should be
served in the same manner-choked
" All, John, since you have been to
the city the e.black OK died without any
notice whatever"
q Gracious mercy~ exclaimed John,
+" how fast we are passing away"
AN old widower says, when you pop
the question to lady do it with kind
of laugh, as if you were joking. If she
accepts you, very well if she does not,
you can say you were only in fun.
WE should see to it that we are con-
tinually climbing in this life. There is
no going down 1t is climbing or falling.
Every upward step makes another need
ful and so we must go on until we reach
the summit of the aspirations of time.
SAVED" We were amused with the
remark of an old lady who was admiring
the beautiful picture called "Savcd."
cts no wander, said she, that the
poor child tainted, after pulling that great
dog out of. the water"
A YOUNG man, directing letter to his
lady love, wrote her name thus:
{" You Ness Brown"
The postmaster was somewhat at a loss
to know what to do with the letter, but he
finally sent it to You Rope by the pack it.
A GIRL who was making dress put
the sleeves in wrong She was unable to
change them, as she could not determine
whether she had got the right sleeve in
the wrong place, or the wrong sleeve in
the right place.
AN Irishman dropped letter into the
post-ofiee the other day, with the follow
ing memorandum on the corner, for the
benefit of all indolent post masters into
whose hands it might fall.
" Please hasten the delay of this"
IN faith. Captain . said son of Erin,
as the good ship was coming on the coast
in inclement winter weather, have ye a
almenick on board n
No, l haven't"
"Thin, be jabers," replied Pat, we
shall have to take the weather as it comes. y
The Oswego Times wants to know if a
man has torticollis, acchplosis of the ra-
dius, paralization of the tier atertia ad
quartem, ventriculum, obliteration of the
laver labli superiosfs alquinasi, and be-
sides don't feel very well himself, wheth-
er he would be exeszpt from the draft
A YOUNG lady once married man by
the name of Dust, against the wishes Of
her parents. After a short time they
lived unhappily together, and she return
ed to her fathers house but he refused
to see her, saying, Dust thou art, and
unto Dust thou shalt return"
"SAMMY, Sammy, my dear son, dom
stand there scratching your head-stil
your stumps, or you will make no pro
gress in life."
Why, father" replied the hopeful
g Pve often heard you say the only way
to get on in this world was to scratch a
head"
AN inventive genius has produced al
apparatus which he says is cure for snor
ing. He fastens upon the nose gutta
purcha tube leading to the tympanum o.
the ear. When the snorer snores he
himself receives the first impression, fnds
how disagreeable it is, and Of course, re
forms