Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1864-03-15

ance to dates, though there are some that do
not care fig for them. But we must not be
tempted into joking, as we certainly could
not hope to surpass the one got off in the
House of Representatives, for considering
the place, it might be called a Capital joke.
So here it is as embodied in the form of q
resolution:
ResolUed, THAT TIE REBELLION BE AND
THE SAME is HEREBY ABOLISHED"
This, the telegraph tells us, s'was agreed
to amid laughter" OF course it was, be-
cause everybody knows that abolishing the
rebellion is as good thing i'm its way as
that mythical bull against the comet, for
which the occupant at the White House is
the only historical authority. 1t was de-
cidedly good hit ON the part of Mr.. Cox in
making at least one branch of Congress re-
solve that the overthrow of the rebellion
was piece of humor-a-a-a-in point of
fact, as Micawber would say, a-a-joke.
The effort to abolish the rebellion has been
, certainly rather expensive one, but now.
that it is abolished, that is in Pickwickian
sense, we trust that every demand which
the mirthful Abe makes upon the country
for men and money will also be treated as a
joke. He may then find out, to use his own
oracular style, that it is easier to carry on
the war with plenty of the necessary ma
terial than it is to carry ON war without
any material-just as ''it is easier to pay a
debt when you have the money than when
you haven't got the money"
AS Congress has set the example, and it
may be considered atolerably good one, we
have few resolutions which we desire to
present to that body 1or its consideration,
and we would respectfully ask that some
one of the members would cause them to
be read there at the earliest opportunity:
ResoIued, That as it is easier to get along
without Abraham Liucoln than with him,
that he be from this time henceforth, and
. that he is hereby abolished.
Resoloed, That when he is cleared out of
the White House we should have Chase
after him.
Resolred, That as the water in the Cabi-
net Welles is rather muddy, the aforesaid
Welles should be pumped out.
Resolued That Wendell Phillips, Charles
: Sumner, Anna S. Dickinson, Theodore Til
ton, and George Thompson be sent on a
mission to Africa to find suitable place for
the future habitation of their brother Abo-
litionists, in which to inaugurate and revel
in all the glories of a miscegenation millen-
iu'm.
Resolued, That the expense of the passage
to that delectable continent shall be paid in
SIeenpachs, anu IldJ Jlley Snall NC Suppileu
with sufficient quantity to buy at least
one meal, when, to use the words of the
great Salmon Pea, it will require thousand
of them to pay for breakfast.
ReSOlued, That as the Government cur
rency was called "greenbacks" to denote
the greenness of the people, that their color
be hereafter changed as they are now fading
into the "sere and yellow leaf"
ReSOlred, That as it is impossible to put
down the rebellion unless by abolishing the
bravery of the Southern men and the devo-
ton of the Southern women, that the same
Is hereby and forever abolished.
ResolUed, That, in conclusion, the forego-
ing is a series of suitable resolutions for the
consideration of the present wise, august,
and statesmanlike Congress.