Weekly Trinity journal. [volume] (Weaverville, Calif.) 1857-1972, 1864-02-20
NUMBER 6.
Minnesota Law-Married by Mistake.

In the semi-rural district of Winona forty miles
north of La Crosse on the Minnesota side of the
river, lives, among several other people, jolly
good fellow, and Justice of the Peace, whose
ideas of matters are much like the current of q
deep river. Once started in their course it is
hard to turn them. One day after the 10 by IL
law dspensary had been swept, after the chairs
had been set in short row against the side of
the Office, and sundry whipped guilds of tobacco
and mutilated cigar stumps had been kicked I'M
der the stove, there was wooden step the
stairs and vigorous knock at the door.
81 Come in said the Justice, as he settled into
a legal look heftting man of law who has
beep duly elected to dispense the favors of the
blind goddess.
A stout woman entered. She had on a short
wooden dress-wooden-sol shoes-sported red
cheeks, black hair, and eyes that snapped like
the locks of shot gun. In Portuguese accent,
and in the worst possible English, she said:
You law man p
Yes, Madam be seated
| 1" Want paper Want paper to take man."
Just then stout French half-breed entered
the room. He was unable to speak half dozen
words, and looked rather scared or bashful. The
Judge at once there was a marriage TO come
off, and said to the woman, who stood with COM
pressed lips watching the Justice and the door
| % Want paper to take this man p
Yes, want paper. Me teach him. Nice
woman, thought the Justice. He no good man
Me take him quick as can ~
| - All right. my covies-fx you in the jerk of
lambs tail y said the Justice, as he turned to
the man and said
:" You know this woman-can you take her =
The man shook his head and muttered unln-
telligbe words.
''Ah I Can't talk English. Well,
never mind"
He ran into the street, invited few friends up
stairs, and on returning with them said to the
woman
.. You want to take this man for better or for
wo-se?''
eyes, want to take him-me pay"
"An right Then turning to the man, who
stood trembling
"You take this woman for better or for worse,
and promise to keep her. etc.
- Umph - and several mods of the head
% Then, in the name of the law, and by the
authority in me vested pronounce you man
and wife" And stepped forward before the
woman could say a word, and kissed her red
lips.
Slap came her hand in his face, and she
clutchcd his hair. The new husband jumped In
to take the woman away, and to protect her, as
the Justice supposed, when in self-preservation
he hit him rap the nose. The woman
pitched into her new husband, who in turn
pitched into her, and for about five minutes there
was general busting and display OF legs,
garters, and things decidedly astonishing.
At last the parties were separated, when the
man and woman took another turn at each other,
the blood and hair flying in all directions. Down
came the stove, over went the table, CHATTER went
all the chairs, and into the street like a mad man
went the'Justce with black eye, and the bosom
of his shirt looking like warranty deed covered
with red seals.
A crowd rushed up stairs and found the mar
and woman lying on the floor, hugging each
other like young bruins, their arms and legs
mixed up worse than tomato vines, the woman
on top
The newly married couple were separated,
t when, through the aid of two interpreters, it
was discovered that the night before, the parties,
occupying adjoining shanties in the lower part
of the town, had got into quarrel over stove
pipe, which was claimed by both, and from
words they had come to blows Each party had
i FASTENED to the Justices Office in the morning
for warrant for the other with the above result.
. The last was, that the parties had gone in
search of another Justice to unmarry them,
while the genial cause of their squabble was set
, ting up the boy, and bathing his bunged eye
with whisky. For an actual fact it is the rich
est within our knowledge. Crosse Democrat.