The southern aegis, and Harford County intelligencer., 1864-01-22
. a Backward Cow Ride.

4 Ea a Backward Cow Ride. gamls.sf
During the Revolutionary War, when
q corps Of the American army was en-
camped near Elizabethtown, New Jersey,
an officer. who, by the way, was more of
a devotee ofVenus than Of Mars, paid:h his
addresses to lady of distinction, whom
he was in the habit of visiting nightly.-
On discovery of the repeated absence Of
the officer, and of the place where inter-
views with his Dulcinea were had, some
waggish friends resolved to play off a
handsome trick at his expense, which
should deter him from repetition of his
visits. -
The officer, r,it3appears, rode1a very small
horse of the pony kind, which be left un.
tied, with the bride reius over his neck,
near the door, iu order to mount and ride
IoH without delay, when the business Of
courting and kissing was over; and the.
horse always remained until backed by the.
owner, without attempting to change his
position. t1. .''.''.' p y
On a certain dark and gloomy night,
when the officer had, as usual, gone to pay
his deyotiops to The object Of his dearest,
affections, and was enjoying the approving
smiles, Of the loyelyffair one, his waggish.
com mpanions went privately to the door Of,
the house where the officer, was, took, his
bride and saddle from the horse, which.
they sent away, placed the bride on, the
tail end the saddle on the back, and the
crupper over the horns Of quite old COW,
who stood peaceably chewing her cud near
the spot. Immediately thereafter they
retired some distance from the house, and
separating, raised loud cry Of alarm, that
the enemy had landed and were marching
into the village. N ..l,5, ],
Our hero, on hearing this, took counsel
from his, fears, and snatching hasty kiss,
he shot out Of the door with the velocity
Of a musket ball, and mounted into the
saddle, with his back towards the head Of
the COW, and plunging his sharp spurs
keenly into her sides, caused her to bawI
out with excessive pain, and she darted
in her best gallop towards camp. The
officer still plying his spurs with all his
wine on board-6nding himself hurried
rapidly backwards, notwithstanding all his
efforts to advance, and hearing the repeat
ed Rawlings Of the tortured beast, imagin-
ed that be was carried off by magic, and
roaring out most Justify that the devil had
got him-was thus carried into the very
centre of the camp ~, .o,,t 'o4
The sentinels, hearing the noise, dis
charged their pieces and fed, and alarm.
guns were 6red--the drums beat to arms,
the officers left their quarters and cried
''turn OUT with all the strength Of their
lungs. The soldiers started from their
sleep as if a, ghost had disturbed their
dreams and thp whole body running half
naked, as quick. as possible, in gallant
dishabille, prepared to resist the terrible
invader, When lp !! the ludicrous sight
soon presented itself. .to,thsir eyes, Of the
gallant officer, lnopnted on A COW, with his
face towards her tail--her tongue hang;
ing out OF her mouth--her sides CORY
with The godgihg Of tha,s spurs, and he him-
self almost deprived of reason, and half
petfifed with horror. r. I. go ~ ,s.g
A loud roar Of laughter broke from the
assembled band, ata the rider aud his
steed; the wholeseorps gave him three
times three cheers n be bolted intoeamp.
Hewas carried to his quarters in tri-
umph, thereto dream of lovers metamor-
phoses, backward rides, sternway advances,
and alarms of invasion. and thereby gar. |