The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-06-09


gin. When j. 3. was President, he MKT
things sooperbly EFF it hadn't been for
Jeems an his festive party, we coodn' t
now boast of war; we coodn't bost ov
payin 70 sents Id. fer butter, an other
things in proportion; we coodn't bost-
we coodn't-,ce coodn't Bost. Good we?
But Jeems woodn't be elected larn
he run for constable lately, an was de-
feated.
Perchans the NJ Y. Peas men will
bring out Mister Emma Webb for the
posish. She might make luvly Pres in
| cents, but not in another. She luvs
the shivalry not tu wisely, but tu WE'LL
She has other faults. She has other
faults, She don't ware the rite kind of
Close. 4. Webb is out ov her spear
Her spear is in the Sonny South. Fer
the benefit ov those readers which hasn't
herd ov Emma, [ will stait that she air
femail who makes Stump speeches occa-
sionaliy fer Jeff. Davis. I bet eft she ev-
er get husband he'll have to fly round.
Thare is other specimens ov the Peas
party sumthin mite be set about; but [
4bare. Shood that party ever run fowl
ov Judas Ischariot No. 2, they will seiz
onto HIM like a Grim Niger onto Ded
Deth, as the sayin is, and nominate him
for President. Judis c. was Cow, |
wager.
The Union party air also namin thar
candydates. John Charles Fremont is
limited at In fact, he is limited at too
extensively. John is husky boy, but
he has couple of faults. The fust is,
his time has not cum; the End, he
woodn't be elected This larst fault is
wot ails me. [ think your humble SER
vint Good run for President without get
tin elected, as easy as the next man, or
emmy other man. Those hot headed chaps
all over the country who air usn Johns
name had better refrane. They shood
take b. Franklin Scots advice, and put
money in ther purs." EFF they persist
in clingin to ]. G. they will help to elect
Secesh Pres. an then thar won't be nary
money to put in ther purs. But I think
John is sensible, morril, uprite chap,
there4 | opine he won't leve his name he
used for those purpis. must see John
an advise him personally. He must Bide
his time.
Secretary Chase has also bin pusht for
rard Salmon wood make Calooshus
President, thars no g. ways about it. But
he has his falts. One is, he won't ac-
cept Another, he makes good Secre-
tary. Them's not the worst falts he can
have. Not emmy As Secky has de-
clined the nominashe warnted to be thrust
onto him by SUM- persons, l say Bully
fer him! The Cops beslime Salmon fer
circoolatin greenbax. hev but one OBJ
lection to him in those particular-wich
is, he don't chocolate eruf ov 'em in the
immejite vicinity of A. W., Jr's pockit.
Eff the bogus demos don't think theys
luvely, let 'em emigrate to the Suthrin
Ccnfederacy, and locate amongst thar
frens, whar shinplasters air as plenty as
Bishop Polkberries, an about as wuthless.
In the South the Union men wants to
cum North, and the Rebs won't let 'em.
In the North the Union men want the
Cop. Rebs to go South, an they won't go.
|
imouser ov the 2.
But to the Presidency.
Gen Butler-or in the classick terms
ov all Nuthren an Suthren traitors
"Beest Butler is highly spoken CIV in
connexion with the mex Presidency. !
must confess that "Beest Butler" is an.
imile that l hugely admire. Eff he was
in the Presidential cheer now, instead ov
the Shivilry stirrin up the animile with a
long stick, the animile wood stir up the
Shivilry with long stick. He's doin il
now. Rather. Eff it wasn't fer ole
friend ov mine, wood indorse Benjamin
But b. f. air very well sooted in his pre-.
sont locashe, and the cuss who calls him
Beast Butler, is fl fer treason, stratyjims
aud spiles. He wood swop orf his gran
mothers toomatus fer yaller dorg.
Gen. Grant air another hunky youth
Thare Good be worse men than Ulysses
brot forrard. But he has his little falt
AS President he mite 'be hunk, but as
Genril he's Hunkier That's his little
falt.
William Seward is in the Ring, alsoly
But don't think / could carst me bal
lot fer William. | fear he's little wa
yerish on the "Irrepressble Conflict
qweschun.
!, Larstly, there is another man named
fer the next Presidency.
An he's goin to get it, 2.
Praps you've herd of him. His fus1
name is Mr.. Honest Ole Abe Linkon.-
That's his larst name 2. A. L. is the
the cheef among 43 thousan, an the l al
together lively. AS Pres. air baund
to admit that he's Gorjeus. Others think
so too. He's bin runnin the mashene 2
years, with traitors, copperheads, and
other filthy vermin putin on the Brakes
But they failed to stalled him. He's
bringin her thru all O G, shrushin Sla,
very, Seceshun, an a goodly portion ov
the Confederacy under its wheel, in troo
Juggernot stile.
Give us Lincoln or give us--Old Abe
yIy = her mill