, 1864-06-20

lost three years already. From the first
smile that CLEANS over the infants cheek,
your opportunity begins"
A remarkable case of conscience was
lately developed in a proceeding before a
French court. A man was before the
court on a charge of stealing some candles,
and the prosecution was examining witnesses
who had bought from him. One of them
said:
"Though he suspected the candles had
been stolen, be bought sous worth; but
that, in order not to encourage robbery, he
had paid for them with bad soul"
"Master at home?"
"No, sir, he's Out."
"ls the mistress at home?"
"No, sir, she's out too"
"Then IN step in and sit by tho fire un-
Ill they return"
"1hat's out. too, SIR"
81 suppose the truth is, nobody wishes
me TO come ill.,"
"You are not out, there, SIR"
Il is said that there is scarcely q trade
which does not give its Owndistortion to the
body and its own cast to the countenance.
Skillfnl detectives, we are assured, can tel
the carpenter from the bricklayei, the tailor
from the shoemaker-nay, eau even distin-
guish between-thO professors Of the various
branches Of felony, by certain indubitable
Indications Of face, gait, and manner. Men
tally there are similar Emergencies among
- Il =. I.fs..,Is
to judge before hand how Chancery- harris
tiers, how clergymen, how officers in the ar.
my will think ON given subject, and one
may BE- sure that the sane ideas will be ex-
pressed in almost the same language by
numbers Of the same class without the
slightest ntercommunication.
Two young ladies were riding in an ON.
nibus. One of them with features remark
able for prominence of nose, exhibited to
the other dagueIreotype Of herself and
they were engaged in discussing its merits,
when an elderly lady got in. After awhile
she reached out her hand, and said to the
lady with the picture.
"Please let me look at itl"
Her modest request was met with an ir-
dignant,
ats none OF your business"
The old lady settled back in her seat
very complacently, when the companion Of
the one with the picture asked,
"What do you wish 10 do with it,"
"oh, nothing" replied the old lady, al
only wanted to sec how successfully the
artist has put such nose on so small
plate"
A colonel, who is fond of telling good
'uns, especially of stories Of which he him
self is the hero, lately drew the long bow
after the following wise:
81 was once in Montpelier" says tho
colonel, "on official business. During my
stay, horse race came off near the capt.
tai; and as am rather partial to horse
racing, went to see it. Just as the horses
were about starting. some fellow insulted
me by jostling inc roughly. Now you
know don't often fight, but when strike,
then do strike. So lup with my fist, and
bit him blow that sent him against the
fence into field, carrying with him nine
sections of posts and rails. The fellow
lay short time, then raising himself into
a sitting posture, he looked wildly around
him.
"Gentlemen," " said he, has the storm done
much damage? Did the lightning strike
anybody but me 7"
Brown tells US Vermont story, which,
he says, Is as authentic as the best Of the
Post anecdotes. and, certainly, nothing more
can be required. A respectable gentleman
in Windsor county, many years ago, had
an ambition TO represent his town in the
State Legislature. Though man of good
character, and every way able enough for
the Office he sought, he happened, as aunt
Peggy used to say, to have "a great many
winning ways to make folks hate him." and
was in fact tho most unpopular man in
town. Going to Squire x, an influential
man who happened to be friendly to him,
he laid his case before him and asked his
influence; saying that he didn't expect help
without paying for it, and declaring that il
he could get KS influence he was sure to
be elected. The Squire "put in his best
jumps" FIR his man; but when the ballot
box was turned, another was declared elect
ed. The disappointed candidate called to
know how the votes stood, and learned that
he had just got three votes!
"But don't understand it" said he turn.
ing to the Squire with chnp.fallen coun-
tenance.
"Nor | either" said the Squire, 81 put
in my votes you. put in another; but who
the devil put in. the third is more than
can imaginer'