The Plymouth weekly Democrat. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1860-1869, 1864-11-10
E EAGETif,.

RATHER CUTE.-An editor was recent
II requested to send bis paper TO distant
ratrcn. provided he would take his pay
in trade" vt the END of the year lie
found that lis new subscriber was cofin
maker.
NARROW MINDED OLD THISG.-"And
what's to be the end of this wicked, waste
ful American war; asked Mrs. Grundy.
The Union, grandma, said Isaac. THAT
| believe. my dear" said the grandmother,
"but when J was Young they called it the
workhocse But its the same thing, my
dear, the Same thing. II Punch.
PRESIDENTIAL WIT About the time
when there was considerable grumbling
as to tie delay in forwarding to the troops
the money due them, Western paymaster
in fall majors attire. was one day intro
duced at a public reception. Being
here. Mr.. Lincoln said he. Il thought
I'd call and pay respects From the
complaints of the soldiers: responded the
President, Il guess that's about ali any of
you do pay"
BAB1Es-8 baby is problem which
is propo..ndcd by the world to lie solved
by time geographically speaking, a
short article with a heading in small caps
Graphically speaking Il morsel of human
ity, which is generally the admiration of
the one sex and tie aggrasat.or of the
other. Philosorhicaliy speaking. moral
lessons in long clothes. set before us to
remind tie greatest Of what they have
been. and to worry .hc irritable old bach
elor
Mr.. Blanchard Jerrold, in his ably
wr. Ten life Of his father, has grouped
some of the good things said by the wit.
lie defined oogmatism as ''puppyism come
to maturity" and flaming luxurious epi-
taph put up by 4 famous cook, on his
wite's tomb, as mock tartle." \ prosv
old gentleman. meeting him as he was
passin. at kis usual quick pace along
Regent street, poised himself into an att
tude, and began :-"Wei Jerrold, my
dear boy. what is going on p Il am,
said the wit. instantly shooting of.
At a dinner OF artists. barrister hav-
ing his health dr&nk ia connection with
the law. began al embarrassed answer by
saying he did not see how the law could
be considered rs one Of the a:ts. when
Jcrro!d jerkcd IN the word black, and
threw the company into convulSions.
Asking about the talent q young pain
ter, his companion declared the youth was
mediocre. Oh was the reply, 1.-The
very worst k;;,.i of oehre an artist can set
to WORK with.
IRISH WIT-All the charm of tho na-
tive is in ms simplicity: as in the case of
the tipsy reveller who was harshly con-
demned by Alderman Porte. to six months
Imprisonment with the remark that he
might pass the time in cursing whisky
"By dad, will. SAID the poor fellow.
land III curSiBg Porte too Another
illustration OF Irish simplicity, cot wit. is
afforded 5y tho reply a. Young teacher.
Arch bishop Wha,ciey was erdcavoring to
lett the candidates iJes en- the market
value OF labor. Will reference - demand
and supply, bat beng batiled, the prelate
put question in this simple form. 'if
there are in your village two shoemakers
VIII, just sufficient npicyInent to enable
lem 10 live to!crable, and no more. what
would follow if third shoemaker set up
IN The same village. :' w hat would fol-
low. sir" said the candidate, why fight
TO be sure - which was likely enoue h. but
1t was not the reply the prelate looked for.