East Saginaw courier. (East Saginaw, Mich.) 1859-18??, 1864-05-25
,ayin's and Doin's cf Josh billings.
spEsuIALLY ORDAINED.

/ believe speshial ordainments sum
4 fu men wero ordained tu be honest,
in fact, poetri has ben rit TO prov this
posihsion, which goes on to say--'An
honest man is tho mobiles ,rurk ov God,'
but the demand for the rurk has been
so limited that hav thought large
share Of the aust edishun must still DO
in the hands ov the author. The wust
trouble we all ov us hav IL to find oct
our ordainins tu a spot. Wo kom-
mense life-we are sunbody's baby
we hav faxin harc--wo 60 to distruk
skul---we slide down hill---we pla
hookey--ve have great diticrkilty wild
our nozes--we larn how til smoke,
and find ourselfs men grown oil tu
onst. Thus far natur haz piped, and
and we hav dansed, and there. haint
bin no Adder to pa, but now comes III
the speshial ordainment tiines. hay
bin thru with awl this lniself, and
stood on the threshold, yung man,
ready to be ordained. j felt az tho
wud give $75 at leastc, if sumbuddy
wud cum along and ordaid me, and let
me pitch in. / waited for six weel D,
sinol OF any ., s.frat. the- -fiist
kluded tn ordain niself hit or miss
The fust thing tried on wuz 50 akcrs
ov land in tho western kintry or
dered the venison and wild turkeys
and possums tn leve, for | was going
tn iarm it. I ordered log house aud
mulch rail fense immegiately, and put
in q crop ov wheel, and prokured
swine and a yoke ov Stages. work
ed 5 years, had the ager, and Ito
krops principally, and managed to sink
the farm and Stages; l haint seen
neither Of them from that da, and
don't think L want I'll. l didn't seem
tn be spesially ordained for farming in
the west, m kuntry.
Since that time have tried cvory
kind Of bizness that could hear on,
and haint bin spesially ordaiLeI IN mi
knollege. The fault awl lays in tho
different kinds of bisncss | haint the
least doubt. The bisness that was do
sined for me probebly haint bin or
dained yet, but l intend to keep bor-
ing, and when dew strike lie thar
will be good time generally, in lni
immogiate naberhood. j hav got any,
quantity Of friends, (tha don't seem
tn KUN by ordinashun.) I got mine,
and manage tn keep them by not ask
ing them by not asking them for any
thing but advise; yu knant ask enny-
thing of man that ho luvos tn give
more, and that kosts him less, than
advise.
1t is hard wurk to live on advise,
and have any thing over, unless y,l
are speshially ordained. One ov mi
trends, fust rate feller enuif, (he1is
in the army of the Portomuck, now
giving advise tn one ov the rcgi-
ments thare; i think he is a brga-
dear, or tha hav been tcazing him tn
be one, don't kno which, } rote me u
letter short time since, adyisin me 10
start on a lecktulin tower. If there
IL emmy or things dispizc, it IL &c
i lekturing tower around the kuntry.--'
If wuz on the list ov doktors ov dir.
vinitee, with half kured bronkeetis
in mi throt, and had lektur 2 hours
and half long on the kuller ov lao
red sea, presume mite travel with
II il. Mi friend in the army advised me
tn lektur on temperance. replied
tn him as follers
DEAR Sin ii hav not konsiderc'i
lekturing on temperance mi speshial
ordainin. never found miself lodgs
ering around in sumbudd'y's gutter a
fu years ago. never pulled out awl
ov mi wits haro, nor sold emmy ov mi
littlo innercent children tn by spirits
with. j never had emmy irunt cato
hung with emmy hinges, nor never had
emmy panos of glass in mi windows
that wero exclusively old hats. haint
adopted green spcctncles on account ov
tho natral tendency tn weakness that
avn our familoe enjoys, and when re-
ilck that awl fesh IL gruss, and that
awl grass is apt tu wilt On hot da
and have felt It mi duty tn straiton,
up mi grass gently once in while
with lettlo good old II, am moro
and morely konvinscd that ! mover was
speshially ordained tu lelztur on tom.
poranco and dn fair job.-Nno fors
Era.