, 1864-11-25

/
be successful, and swear to thee thy family
shall be be mine, and we shall sleep together in
the tomb which thou hast occupied first. SEN
sation in Court. then Invested myself Of my
clothes, and put on those of the dead man,
| Then putting my pistol close to the face of the
corpse, / discharged the shot which was intend
ed for myself and almost the whole of the face
was blown away. 1t was almost impossible to
recognize the substitution. Prolonged sensa-
ton. After the deed was done, | put on an
other suit of clothes of a very PLAIN kind. |
shaved my beard and my eyebrows, and morn
ing me on French ship sailing toward the
| Continent. What / foresaw occurred my un-
worthy clerk IN the news of my death, thought
himself safe; he did not know that while he
lived free from care in the Island of Maurtius,
I discovered the ALLEGATION of the funds made by
him in France; at last the fraud was detected,
and thanks to my honorable friend, William
Burnett, who received my first visit, justice will
be satisfied. The Court of Justice, before ad-
journing condemned John Moon to perpetual
banishment. crowd accompanied to their
house NJ. Clodomir Frenos and his wife, now
relieved from her ecclesiastical vows, amidst a
thousand accamations.-Le Monde.
>-1-----@~S-~~--
In BAD FIx-Once upon a time in the viii
lage of B, in the State of Massachusetts,
| lived handsome young maiden of seventeen
whom we will call Fanny, and George L.
was her accepted lover. The course of love ran
smooth; and in due process of time came the
happy termination of their wooing and the twain
were made one by the benediction of the holy
! church.
They were married early one summers morn
ing, and the same day travelled costly and hap
PLY together, to the stage of their wedding tour.
A companion, younger brother of the bride,
mischievous young rascal accompanied them,
and well it would have been for the happy pair
if they had trusted themselves to their own So
ciety and left James at home to ornament dogs
tails and spitball the school-master
Well, the party arrived at the Calf House,
Philadelphia. While George was dutifully at
tending to the comforts of his young wife
James, in the performance of his duties as
groomsman went into the Office of the hotel to
enter the name and select appropriate apart
ments. Pen in hand brilliant idea struck him,
and in pursuance Herewith, he entered their
names on the register thus
James l.
Miss Fanny L.
George --
Fanny retired early being somewhat fatigued
with travel
George smoked his cigar for an hour or two,
and dreamed of his bachelorhood, we suppose,
and finally requested to be shown to his apart
ments. An obsequious waiter, with candle in
hand, attended him. and asked him what num-
ber it was.
"With the lady who came with me-" replied
George
The waiter smiled hesitated, and then ap-
preached with exquisitely dressed clerk, and
repeated the question
"With the lady who arrived here with me, +"
George answered again, blushing to the tips Of
his ears.
The clerk smiled and shook his head as if in
pity at the young mans ignorance.
at will not do sir you have mistaken the
house, sir! Such things not allowed here,
sir"
':.Wi1l not do why 7 only want to 60 to bed. "
"That you may certainly do in your
room, sir, but not in the lady's apartment, sir"
'The lady'S apartment? Why that lady is
my wife"
The clerk bowed ironically. Gan very fine,
sir, but won't 60 down, sir, here is the entry,
sir"
George looked at the register, and there was
the entry, sure enough,
"Miss Fanny L."
George -."
H saw the whole secret at a glance; he pro-
tested and entreated-but it was no use He
called on James to witness his veracity, but
James nowhere to be found. The bystand-
ers laughed and the clerk was inexOrable; and
the poor fellow was forced in his solitary cham
Der to pass his bridal night, invoking blessings
on the whole class of respectable hotels, +" and
younger brothers,
A WFE's CURE FOR BkD HABfr.-A newly
married wife, living in New Orleans, recently
discovered that her better half was disposed to
come home frequently late at night, in state of
oblivious forgetfulness. She determined to
cure him of his habit. About two weeks ago
he entered at midnight and staggering into the
bed chamber was soon fast asleep The wife
said nothing, but when she thought he was
sound asleep she produced large needle, and
threading it with a strong piece Of twine, sat
quietly at work sewing him up in the blanket.
She sewed good and strong, till, as the grey
streaks of dawn began to Tighten the east, her
task was done.
In this condition she left him, and repaired to
the dwelling of a friendly neighbor there to
await the result. About ten o'clock persons in
the neighborhood were startled by the sound
of the most distressing cries issuing from the
house; and rushing to the rescue, supposing
that murder was being committed, they forced
the door and there found the poor man bound
up as tightly as bale of cotton, in the blanket
of his own bed. He begged them to release
him, as he was dying from thirst and could
not move. The neighbors stood aghast. They
thought him the victim of some terrible plot
some burglars scheme, but as they were in the
act of extricatng him, in rushed his wife and
ordered them to desist
"Cut not thread, she cried ~ did it
ana ne snail lie Jnere I'LL ne makes solemn
promise never to come home drunk again"
He declared he would in future Keep better
hours and drink less rum. In the future all
the wife had to do when her husband was dis
posed to take little too much, was to show him
darning needle and say, "Take care sir or
I'll sew you up"
CoRREcr SPEAKING.-We advise all young
people to acquire in early life, the habit of cor
rect speaking and writing; and to abandon, as
early as possible, any use of slang words and
phrases. The longer you live the more difficult
the acquisition of correct language will be; and
if the golden age of youth, the proper season
for the acquisition of language, be passed in its
abuse, the unfortunate victim of neglected edu-
cation is, very properly, doomed to talk slang
for life Money is not necessary to procure this
education. Every man has itin his power. He
has merely to use the language which he hears,
to form his taste from the best speakers and po-
cts in the country; to treasure up choice phra-
ses in his memory, and habituate himselfto to their
use, avoiding at the same time, that pedantic
precision and bombast, which show the weak
ness of vain ambition rather than the polish of
an educated mind