The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1864-04-01

1t was my first proposal, Matte, and l
had never thought to be the cause of such
! grief as ] then witnessed. Twill not dwell
upon the interview, it was very painful to
me. l can safely say l felt no triumph
in receiving my first offer. At the close
of it he begged me to take his proposals
into consideration for that night, and not
to give him a final answer until the fol-
lowing morning. l at first refused de-
| cidedly to do so, but he plead for it as
| for his life, and at length weakly yielded
1t was very weak in me, for well knew
that l must give him the same answer in
=, the morning which he was then so unwill-
ing TO receive.
1t was very unpleasant for me to go
down to meet him the following morning
when he called; and l stood for full five
| minutes with my hand upon the drawing
| room door before l could summon courage
to open it and face my wooer. Our inter-
| view was rather stormy one at first, but
when he found that my decision was unal.
terable he summoned his pride to his as
sistance, and after begging me to keep his
refusal a secret, babe me farewell, saying
that he should leave Philadelphia that day,
not to return until Gertrude and had left
for home.
l was good deal shaken by the whole
occurrence, and had just taken off my
dress to lie down after dinner, (people did
not dine at six in those days., when Mr..
Austin's card was brought up.
He only asked for Miss Caroline" the
servant said smiling.
/ was somewhat surprised, but not at
all displeased, and Fastening my toilet,
hurried down stairs. But if | was looking
for another proposal on that day, (and
will not say l was noD, was destined to
disappointment. For after some ordinary
conversation; MIR. Austin fixed his eyes
upon my face inquiringly, aud said point
edly,
81 have just been seeing your friend,
Mr.. EllwoOd, off in the cars for New
York"
Indeed" said, carelessly, but to my
great annoyance felt that was blushing
deeply.
"He did not seem to be in very good
spirits; what was the matter of him -
asked Mr. Austin.
All thought !, Mr.. Ellwood has been
making a confident of Mr.. Austin, and he
is now trying me to see if l will disclose a
secret which has been entrusted to my
honor. So feigned an interest which
did not feel, and said,
"He- was complaining of not feeling
well this morning, when he came 10 bid
us good by"
"Was lie p asked Mr.. Austin. "Well,
| suppose it was only natural, unaer The
circumstances, he said smiling
And few moments afterward he took
his leave. And, Matte, I have never seen
him since
"Why Caro- " cried her cousin.
cit is true," said Miss Fenton, with
strong Indignation. "IIe had used my
heart as a ;)laything, and when be wearied
of it he cast it away without a care
Three days after we were summoned
home by the news of the sudden and
alarming illness of Mamma. We left with
Alice our farewells for all orr friends, but
one never came to receive his.
Mammals recovery was as rapid as her
illness was sudden, and when | was quite
sure that she was cut Ct all danger, be-
gan to look anxiously for letter, which |
felt sure the mail must soon bring ne
Gertrude, to our great grief fell quite i'll,
and when, after some days, she was able
to leave her bed, all color rad left her
cheek, the light was gone from her eyes,
and the sprightlineSs from her step. The
physicians talked of low~necked dresses
and thin shoes; feared she was going into
a decline; and advised travelling. She,
however, positively refused to leave home,
| and we could none of Us understand her
| case.
As for me was in state OF the most
intense nervous excitement Twas in love
Really and truly IN love with Girard Aus
tin, and l was not willing to believe that
he had only been playing with my affec-
tons. Oh! Matte, thank Heaven that
you have never known the wretchedness
OF that "hope deferred which maketh the
heart SEX" Of living whole days with
your thoughts turning to but one hour,
that OF the opening of the mail. Of hat
ing the. hours Of sunlight because they re-
tarded he arrival of that desired hour {;
and ther after the bitter disappointment
OF receiving no letter, to hate the night
time because it was but the prelude to an
other day of waiting. My looked for let
ter never came! About month after my
return to Bertram, read among a list of
names Of passengers who had sailed for
Europe, that of Girard Austin. Then 1
knew that hope was dead; and I despised
myself for having been SO weak. But
worse than that, Matte, I had to despise
the man that had loved. A female firt
is despicable characters woman who
leads men on to love her with false hope,
only for the sake of the momentary tri-
umph which their devotion gives her (!
But what can say of a mate firt? man
who can so far forget his dignity, and his
chivairy towards woman az the weaker
! vessel, as to descend to make her tender