Marshall County Republican. (Plymouth, Ind.) 1856-1878, 1864-11-24
THE REPUBLICAN
A Dutchman's Complaint.


drinks much about de war and dc draft.
ind de rcbils. ind all about desc tings. |
drinks about 'em more as about any ding
else. Sometimes 1 sets mits myself all
day on de front stoop. and schmokes, und
drinks har'i cider. und does noting else on
Iy drink; den my wife gives me de teufnl
for drinhin so much. unl ses vos peter
so ind see after Jocob, our hired man,
IND boddermv head nit more as | can un-
dcrstand. But tells her what shall vom
ems do know about war? better she goes
uni mindts her own bisness. Idrubles my
self more about Abraham as about JACOB.
Ven gifts tired nit drinkin on my own
stoop. / goes down to Han Butterfos's
tavern, ind kinks dere. und | tells my
obinion, und we makes him out togeddcr
DE oddcr day begins de draft. Dat bod
ders me agin. Some goes in for De draft
mostly dem as is to oft. uni WON'T be took
dcmself; some goes agin de draft, md
some don't know virh way to goes. but
ony goes roundt, ind get boddered like
dam so as do.
But meier mind dinks must find dis
ding out. und Town goes to Hans Butter
foos und hears de fellers bio. | don't
make muffin nit dat; dey all bles some
oder way. und don't dink dev hef him
rite in deere own mindts. So l begins uni
asks a questchun; und ses to Bill
Puffenshtock:
"Vot you dinks Won DO draft, da! is
right?'.
And SEES Dill: NO, diuks ct amt
right"
Veil. don't believes him, cause he
sheated me vonce NIT a plind mare he
sells on me. So | dries agin and shpeaks
nit Fritz HockenshpIicer
''Fritz." ses "vot DO you drinks Won
de draft, eff it's right or not?"
And Fr,tz. he says. dat he "Dinks it Is
shust so as it ought to be-"
But don't believe him needer, cause
he run'd agin me last year for de peace of
shustice. und dey make him de peace-dat
is de shustice IND he i,h no more good
for shquire as my old cat. So l gifts up
askin somebody, und max, him out my
self. | drinks in dis s.hyle de reason dey go
mid lie draft. is becos dey want solers.
Ef dey don't get no sojcrs den dey can't
bring on dc war. Eff ley don't bring on
de war den dey don't lick de rebels. Ef
dey don't lick de rebil den de reLils licks
dem. Ef de rebl ticks dem den we all
60 to ter tuyvel. OATS pooty straight
So much.
Now dink OF some more; vot is de
next ding? l dink da,'s all right; but
now SHOPS. something else comes doe.
let me sect. oh. yes; dry hundred dollars
OATS de ding-ley all bios about de dry
hundred dollars. links so myself, dry
hundred dollars don't ticks de rebils no
more as dry hundred cents. Vot's degoot
NIT dollars? Peter good. shmart sojer.
like my Shorge. he licks the rebils more a.
six hundred dollars, yes. We putty soon
makes money enough, but paper soiers is
ony goot nit wooden guns, so when the
draft comes ind ven men ses hero is dry
hundred dollars. shtays behindt and
don't fight lie rebils. den il | was de draft
/ takes dat man by the breeches und says
60 to de tuyvel NIT your dollars and come
along NIT me like some oder man as has
got no dollars und don't like to GO sojer-
In so bad as not you DO, den pretty soon
gifts so much as wants, dat S my idears.
/ tells my oft woman il dey drafts me l
goes myself. To be sure, | don't dink
dey will, caus | am more as fifty years olt;
but meier mind. should go along while.
like my Shorge, ony dere's two dings i
don't like, und one is de marshin und' de
udder is de fiten. | sooner marches down
to Hans Butterfoos and fights dere. Ef
Shelf Davis comes dere on me, gifts
him dam you peter hal believe; but if |
goes to Richmond, may be Shelf Davis he
gives me dam. So anyhow, shtays
home. De oder day my Shorge he comes
back nit furlow. He is so much
corporal as ever lie was, und L shpeaks
nit him about desc dings, und gifts you
now what he he says:
"Shorge asks him, you've bin nit
DE rebels und de nit lie army, urd nit
OFT Abe; und desc felIers. vot dinks Won
dis draft dat ali de beeples bios about?"
Und he ses to me: "Oh, tunder!'
Well. OATS his opiniuns. My be he
shall know some lings to, he's pretty
smart since he goes for a sojer. He
shwesrs like man six foots high. und
calls mudder colt woman" und he calls
me soap" ind he kisses de gals. und he
calls JACOB ''dam fool" | dinks he gets
some high offs before dis war is gone.
GorTLIEB KLoBBERYoss.