The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1864-12-02
MISCELLANEOUS.

A traveller coming mp to an inn door,
said, "Pray, friend, are you the master of
this houser" eyes, SIR" answered boni-
face, "my wife has been dead these three
weeks"
A down east editor declares that mod
esty is quality that highly adorns wo-
man, but ruins man.
Lovers, like armies, generally get along
well enough until they are engaged.
The Kearsarge sunk the Alabama, and
the Wachusett has taken the Florida. A
Yankee friend suggests that the navy is
now a mountain to something. The news
is certainly ex-hiLerating.
TIE rOPKRs LAST sOLILoQuY.
Leaves have their time to fall,
And so likewise have I;
The reason too's the same,
Both comes of getting dry.
But here's the difference twixt you and NE,
fall more harder and more frequently.
Mr.. Reynolds, the dramatst, once met
. free-and-easy actor, who told him he
had passed three festive days at the SCAT
of the Marquis and Marchioness of -,
without any invitation. He had gone
there on the assumption that as my lord
and lady were not on speaking terms, each
would suppose the other had asked him,
and 30 it turned out.
Papa, didn't You whip me once for
biting little Tommy" eyes, my child !;
you hurt him much" "Well, then, papa,
you ought to whip sisters music master,
too. He bit sister yesterday afternoon
right on the mouth and know it hurt
her, because she tried to put her arms
around his neck and choke him"
The Columbus (Olio) Journal gives an
account of burglary committed on gro
Gerry establishment in that city lately, and
says the burglars helped themselves freely
to whisky. The owner of the grocery
says, "he is confident that the men who
drank that whisky died in less than fifteen
minutes after imbibing it."
A North Wales paper thus begins one
of its paragraphs "The Inhabitants of
Llanbedrgoc and the contiguous parish of
Observation-Disclosures" A very pleas
ant sound those last twenty-three letters
must have
An individual advertised for a " wife +"
the other day, and requested each appli-
cant for the situation to enclose her carte
de uiSite. One of his correspondents clos.
ed her reply in these terms: 81 do not
enclose my carte, for, though there is
some authority for putting cart before a
horse, / know of none for putting one be-
fore an ass"
We clip this statement from northern
paper: "a live toad was found in solid
rock, forty feet below the surface, during
some blasting operations near Elgin few
days ago." He ought to be sent to the
British Musuem as an addition to the Elgin
nsarrelS.
What is in name Baden is becoming
moral, and the police will permit no un-
married lady to reside in the town more
than four-and-twenty hours. Baden. in
deed I've call that good un.
In this world, truth can wait; Heaven
knows she is used to it.
An admirer of dogs having had new
litter of fine bred, friend wished him
to put him down for a puppy! 81 set you
down for one great while ago." was the
answer.
When you view the mountains between
France and Spain, why do they remind
you OF killed Scotchman? Because
you see pair o. knees (Pyrenees.)
An officer advising his general to cap
ture post, remarked, eft will only cost
few men," "Well," said the general,
"will you make one of the few ?"
All should marry Every should have
a second !. We pity a person with but
one eye. He can see but half the things
going on in the world.
AyOung lady of our acquaintance wishes
to know if the Horse Marines she has SO
often heard of are attached to the Cap
tain's Gig.
"Julius, said one niger to another,
sis you better dis mornin?" "No, l was
better yesterday, but Use got ober dat"
Why are military officers the most un-
lucky of menu Because they are always
in some mess or other.
Joness answer at being asked the other
night, if he would go ont for lark.
"Like Bird"