The Union. [volume] (Georgetown, Del.) 1863-1866, 1864-03-25
some of these cucumbers.n

because Snould nate " De seen carrying
thom home, when everybody knows they are
only penny q piecel"
The little girl did not appear ts appreciate
the excuse.
A FooLTsH MINISTER. The Court in Wash-
inston recently granted two divorces. In
one case the father of the lady, Robert L.
Miller, sues Rev. James.J. Marks for marry
Ing his daughter, Only Is yeafs I'D, the pc
nalty being Gne of $500 under tie Old Ma
rylsnd law. In the other case the lady Is
only Is yea-- and ID m 5lK4zsald, aud it qp-
pears was married one evening by going Oft
from the pump with one Christnan, OF which
she has vague aud indistinct recollection;
she never lived with him. and never consum-
mated the marriage She was in state OF
temporary lunacy at the time.
MATCHED BY WoMAN.--In the somewhat
ftmous case of Mrs. Bogden's will, which
was tried some years ago, Mr.. Webster APP
peared as counsellor for the appellant. Mrs.
Greenough, wife of the Rev. William Green
ough, late of West Newton, a tall, straight.
queenly- y-loeking woman, with keen black
eye--a woman Of great selfpossession and
decision Of characterize called as awitness
on the opposite side. Webster at glance
had the sagacity to foresee that her testinlo-
ny, If it contained anything of importance,
would have great weight with the jury He
therefore resolved, if possible, to break her
/ -l,., YiE iifGt
put 10 her
II belle, O." Webster roared out, 'wa
don't want to hear what you believe, we want
to hear what you know"
Mrs. Greenough replied, That is jnstwhat
was about to say, sir, and went on with
her testimony.
And, Notwithstanding his repeated efforts
to disconcert her, she pursued the even tenor
of her way, until Webster, becoming quite
fearful of the result, arose. apparently In
great agitation, and, drawing out his large
snuf.box, thrust bis thumb and finger to the
very bottom, and carrying the deep pinch to
both nostrils, drew it up with gusto.
Webster-"Mrs. GreenouSh, was Mrs. Bog
den neat woman ?"
Mrs. GfeenoH9s Il cannot give You very
full information as TO that, sir: she had one
very dirty trick"
HeJsfer--.ssWhat's that, msam:"
Mrs.. Gyeeaough-"She took snuff
The roar of the Court was such that he
neither rose nor spoke again till after Mrs.
Greenough had vacated her chair for another
witness.
A TRAyELERs SANdFRoID.-What plea
SAINT thing it is to see man make the best
of an unavoidable discontinue instead ot
boring himself to death about thing lhac
can't be helped. A friend tells us of geo,'-
natured wag travelling by stage" be.weeh
two distant towns in Maine, when the Ne..-
Gle was suddenly arrested impossible s...w-
banks, far from any other dwelling tAah a
small log tavern, to which the haii-i.o@ea
passengers with difficulty reached. AA p"t
our wag grumbled; he hailed the I"hGi'4u'
got toddy, and asked:
"How many folks live in this town.
'About fifteen hundred" said B5nnaee'
"You've got more snow, in proportia.. 70
population, than any other town IA d@.Ae.
WITTY REPORT. One eofour y.llase danlselr,
saws the Aberdeen Hejutd, VINO diSs.h6 '-e
potatoes for the lumIy dinner, was ,nus ae-
costed by an English gentleman oi ra'hef
dwarfsh proportions, who stood scarcely
five feet in his shoes: Are these good pota-
toes girll" Pretty lair, shereplled, DO
POTATOES grow well in this cold countryf"
Better than men do in yours if yonare 10 be
taken as a specimen" She smartly answered
The small gentleman vanished, muttering
something inaudible to himself.
True RIcHEs.-A rich gentleman once
asked day laborer, "Do you know to whom
these estates belong on the borders Of the
lakc?" NO." replied the man. "And the
wood and the cattle, do you know whose
they are?" "No." They are mine Also"
continued the rich man. Eyes, ALI that you
can see is mine" The peasant stood still
moment, then pointed to Heaven, aud in
solemn tone asked, is that also thine! II
that be thine, though poor, thou art truly rich;
if that be not thine, however rich, thou art
poor indeed"
"wHAr is polygamyf" asked Ike, who
stumbled over the word in a paper, Mr'.
Partington looked severe. "Polygamy'
said she, lis where men have an ad hbertlne
privilege of marrying pleurisy OF wives'
God bless 'em, when they can't take care OF
one as she ought to be, with cotton flannel
forty cents yard, and flour at fabulous pri-
ces." Ike was satisfied, and immersed him
self in a notice Of Hassam's skates.
Too oBLrGING BY HALF.-A gentleman.
on leaving hotel where he had been stop
ping several days, rewarded the attention of
an obliging servant with handsome gratui-
ty. "Ahw said the grateful Patrick, "long
may your honor live, and may / make your
fires hereafter.
PoLITEHrss is the transparent enamel OF
good character, induced thereon by much at
triton Of mon ars things.
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