The Portland daily press., 1864-12-28
Wednesday Morning, Dec. %, 1864.
Pleasures Of Skating.

The following pen and ink portrait of skat-
ing, by the local of Milwaukee paper, is
the best thing of the kind we have seen:
''Right between one of our windows, from
morn Til midnight we see youngsters and old
sters twisting their legs In all conceivable
shapes. We cannot take up paper, but an
article meets the eye. Everybody says it's
fun, and that's all anybody knows about it,
for we have tried It. Last night, about gas
light time, after reading glowing description
OF life on skates, We sailed forth to Join the
merry crowd. We had on a pair Of stoga
boots, trowsers legs tucked inside, Robert
tailed coat and white hat. We went down on
the ice, and gave boy two shiilings In good
coin OF the realm, for the use OF his inIple-
menus. We had confdence,-even as great
as Peters faith. We, with the assistance OF a
friend, fixed on the skates, and stood erect,
like BARRIERS pole.
Encouraged at the sight of some ladies on
the bridge looking at the skaters, we struck
out. A slant TO The right with the right foot,
slant to the left with the lett ioot-and lust
then we saw something on the ice, and stoop-
ed to pick it up. On our feet again-two
slants to the right and one to the LETT, accom-
panied with the loss OF confidence. Another
slide with the right foot and we sat down with
fearful rapidity, but with very little, il any
elegance. What set down it was for we
made dent in the ice not unlike an old fash
Toned Connecticut butter how'll Just then
one of the ladies remarked: 'Oh, look, Mary,
that fellar with the white hat amt got his
skeets on the right placer Ditto thoughtwe.
just then ragged little devil sung out as he
passed us-'Helio, old timber legsp and we
rose suddenly and put after him. Three slides
to the right, two to the lett, and away went
our legs, one to the east, and another to the
west, causing an immense tissure in our pants,
and picture OF q butter dish in the eold-Oh
how cold-ice. The lady-we know she was
one by the remark she made-agsin spoke.
and said-'Oh, look, Mary, that chap with the
white hat on has sat down on his handker-
cher to keep him from takinS coldr We rose
about as graceful as q saw horse, when Mary
said-"Guess faint handkerchief, jane"
and Mary was right, 1t wasn't handker-
chief-not bit of il just then friend came
along, and profered us his coat-tail as a stead
Ter. We accepted the continuation of his gar
ment, and up the river we went about ten
rods, when a shy to the right by the leader
caused us, the wheel horse, to scoot off on a
tangent, heels upl-But the ice is very cold,
this season
We tried 1t again. A glide one way-a
glide and half the other, when whack came
our bump of philoprogenitivenes on the ice,
aud we saw million of stars dancing around
our eyes, like ballet girls az the Bowery thea
ire. How that shock went through our sys-
ten, and up and down our spinal column
Lightning couldn't have corkscrewed it down
a creased sapling with greater speed and
more exhilirating effect. clearinghouse
butter nor a warranty deed, couldn't have
stuck stronger than we did, and dozen ladies
looking at us-and our f1ssured pants.
"Hello, old cockm sung out that ragged
imp again, and we were helpless Soon we got
up and made another trial with better success,
Perhaps we had skated, In our peculiar style,
fifteen feet, when blunderinE chap came uD
behind, when we sat down again, with our
tired head pillowed In his lap-and he swear
ing at US, when it was all his own fault -
How cold the ice was there, tool Every
place where we made our debut on the Ice
OIL how cold it was. Our bare skin drawt rs
were no protection at all. We tried again.
for the papers all ray it's fun, and down came
our Roman Grecian nose on the cold julep
material and the little drops Of crimson ran
down our shirt bosom and on the cold ice.-
Once more we tried skating, made for the
shore--sat down and counted damages.
Two shillings in cash thrown away. Several
lateral and fronteral bumps on the ice. One
immense assure In as handsome pair of ten
dollar cassimeres as a man ever put his legs
into. One rupture in the knee extending to
the bone. Four buttons from our vest, rag
mented watch crystal, and back-ache, big
enough to divide among two children of Is
real. II you get us on the smooth, CLASSY,
chilly, slippery, freezing, treacherous, and
slip uppery ice again, you'll know 1t! If any
one ever hears of our skating again, they will
please draw on us at sight for the bivalves and
accompanying documents. We have got
through skating. It's humbug. It's a vexa-
tion OF spirit, OF business, of flesh, and tear
er of trowsers. It's head-bumping, back
aching, leg wearing, dangerous institution,
and we warn people against skating. We
tried it, and shan't be able to walk for month
Skating clubs are a humbug, and all the ras-
cally youngsters wish to get the girls at it
that they may see--if they too, don't say the
ice is dreadful cold It's nothing to us, but
the ladies will do we'll to let skating alone, un-
less they are younger and more elastic than
we are. Obi how cold the ice is-we can feel