Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1864-03-17
IOR PRINTINn
Warietp.

What is taken from you before you get
it?--Y our portrait.
Nothing crushes the heart like the fall Of
an idol.
Weep for love, but never FOR anger; cold
rain will never bring flowers. -.
Why is needle in haystack like glue?
Because you can easily find it-in horn.
Almost every young lady is public spirit
ed enough to have her fathers house used
as court house
OF all ignorance, that which is silent is
the least productive, for praters may sug-
gest an idea, if they cannot start one.
Mrs. Partington says it il " better to
speak paragorlcal OF person, than TO be
all the time linging epitaphs at him.
A talkatiye man neither hears nor Is
heard. He won't listen to others, nor they
to him.
In large assemblies of men there il
more feeling and less thought than in small
ones.
We have generally much stronger Curl
'oslty to know what is said than to know
what is true.
The man is to be envied who can eat pork
chops for supper and sleep withouta grunt.
Sit in your own place, and no man can
make you rise
Some malicious person asserts that the
letters NJ. D., which are placed after phy-
sicians' names, signify money Down. =
Jones writes to friend and. closes by
saying;
II am glad to be able to say that my wife
is recovering slowly"
| 1t is considered to be cool to take mans
hat with his name written in it, simply be-
cause you wish to obtain his autograph.
When the wind whistles through your
key-hole, it expects you to whistle with it.
1t is sounding the key note.
Many persons write articles and send
them to an editor to be corrected--as if an
editor Office were. a House Of Correction.
In France, love is comedy; in England,
a tragedy; in Italy, an6pera in Germany,
a melo-drama; in America, a business af-
| fair
Florida, but it is cheering to learn as a rec
ompense that the colored schools of Beau
| fort are progressing finely.
The Administration tries many of its best
officers on frivolous charges, and tries the
patience of all the rest.
They say that the Confederacy is upon
its last legs, but we fear those last legs will
kick awfully.
Ex-General CAN'T talks of suffering in
the South. 1t is horrible picture; a CAN'T
speaker with famine in the distance.
! Mr. Greeley doesn't say God bless
kind of expression.
n When the Republicans speak of burying
the hatchet of party warfare, it is suggested
| hat tIa,- - - IL
heads of their opponents.
: He who is satisfied to travel upon his feet
: may be able to keep his carriage, but he
v who is content only with riding may not
S long be able to keep his feet.
A Dutchman' heart-rending soliloquy is
described thus :
because he has got coople tollerS more as
has ~
THE Springfield Republican asks what
military order" is like a lady crossing the
street on wet day ? DRESS up" in front
and close up in the rear.
PRovosT MARSHAL Fry declares that
''the censcripts who desert the service of
their country ought to roasted.alive. The
poor wretches are pretty well Fiyed already.
A man named Oats was hauled up recent
ly for beating his wife and children. On be-
ing sentenced to imprisonment, the brute
remarked that it was very hard man was
not allowed TO thrash his own oats.
John" said a father to his son one
day, when he caught him shaving the down
off his upper lip, don't throw your shay
ing-water out where there are any barefoot
ed boys, for they might get their feet
pricked."
A traveller, relating his adventures told
the company that he and his servant made
fifty wild Arabs run, which starting them,
he observed that there was no great merit in
that, for, said he, We ran, and they
ran after U.s.
There are friends for the old rhaid-the
universal aunt Children love her, and
kittens come and lie in the tireside at her
: feet and purr. Thare are pleasant homes
where her presence is welcome, and by and
by some poor soul whom she has comforted
will put flower on her grave. But for
the old bachelor-heaven help him-for hu-
manity cares not for him.
An inventive Yankee has produced an
} apparatus which, he says, is cure for
snoring. He fastens upon the mouth gut
ia percha tube leading to the tympanum of
the ear Whenever the snorer snores, he
5 himself receives the first impression, finds
how disagreeable it is, and, Of course, re-
forms.
The ladies' of Hartford have given leap
, year ball and taken liberties with the gen!
tlemen there.
ABEs LAsT-''I can't say for certain
, who will be the peoples choice for PIesi-
dent, but tc the best of my belief it will be
the successful candidate,
Speaking of Fremont and Butler as Pres
idential candidates, the Troy Wing says
the first is principally noted for parting
, his hair in the middle, and the last for
something besides his religious convictions:
One Of the frozen roosters found hang
Ing by its claws to the limb of tree at
New Albany, Indiana, had his last crow
sticking eleven inches out Of his mouth, and
frozen stiff.
The Idaho gold miners formed themselves
into a Vigilance Committee recently, and
hung thirteen highwaymen.
"GRAcE before meat as the young lady
said when she laced herself too tight to
swallow.
| Ayonng lady in Nfillersburg, speaking OF
I. the Polka, said the dancin' was nothin' but
: the huggin was heavenly.
Gumbo, can you answer question dis
mornin?
: Sartain! N
Why is de traitor and de loyal man all