The West Virginia journal. [volume] (Charleston, W. Va.) 1864-1877, 1864-11-09
That's the Screw That's LOose'

That's the Screw That's Loose'
[scrsE At TIE wHAnF,"0AT']
CGh.en,-(h Gmrd)-"l want to &" "'o''''
that steamboat" a.
Guord-"lIavc you got pasS?'
c;E,eu.-"No; but the boats about 10
Start. and ] haven't time TO get pass; anu
that's not the worst Of it, for my co'Sin Is Oh
ho,u and lust want to bid her good bye
come, must co.
Gmra,-( d,u"iy domnh' g"n 10" "'1'ye')
Stand back, or show your pass
Gd:cn.-"I tell you, Mr.. Soldier am Just
as GOOD Union man as ever the sun r'% on
and I muN sec Cousin before the boat goes
I'll stand treat; come, let me pass
Guor1-"I must 10 my duty, so stand
back"
CG:en.-" There! she's sonc-,hc boat 5
zone and I am deprived Of bidding COUSIN
Arslclla farewell That screw is loose;
say, Mister, MGt MrrW IS h"jc'
Guard What scrw?'
CiE.m.-"Wcll, will tell you You Sec
we all feel it a great injustice to- have the
string pulled so tight Oh Union men, while at
the same time SO many lavorS arc piled on
,hcSs Secesh traitors. Here might stand
till could use forty bushels Of rcd pepper AM!
onions CRYING, Just to get one farewell shake
of cousin Arabella's hand, yes, | might stand
hero on this ganSway AMI cry till there would
lie nothing left Of he but an old pair Of boots,
some clothes, and little tutt Of hair; and all
because the boat is tied to = Government
wharf.hoat."
Guari.-"T must obey ORDERS
CM.cn.-"I am aware Of that. do not
blame You; hut, "thcrc lies the livil," as the
boy said when his father was killed. Just
look st that Sccesh boat lamlin: not 50 steps
below: 10 guard is stationed Mcrr! Rebel
boat, rebel Captain, rebel Clerk. rebel Mate,
rebel Chamlcrmaid, nj! come and 20 as they
plcnsc,-no hayonct< pointing toward ho'r
:imar!s. Contrahanl passengers. con;rahanl
goods, arc shipped to Dixie. The boat brings
them rs far rs she can: then the ambulance
is mitchell up, an escort Of twenty or thirty
cavalry is procured, AMI away starts Miss BAL
moral Rebel with her medicine and dry goods
| for away down in Dixie. II the Government
fails to make the necessary detail. then Mr..
VIII is called on to take load to the
Gland Of pcrsimmons," after Mrs. She Ecb.
has made a trip 10 Cincinnati for her stock OF
goods and her gold twcnty-dollar pieces,
(wound up in yarn to escape detection y
and even now Mrs. Rebels are buyin. goods
from rebel merchants by the fifty and hun
drcd dollars worth, which arc not used in the
town Of Charleston. Now, the question is.
where do they so to-? say, without doubt
they 20 to Dixie.
Now, this way of fixing rebels MS We do
buckwlcat cakes :-sincarins them all over
with butter and honcy,-is not in my comics.
sion Of faith, or practice. 1t would be better
for the Government to change their diet for
awhile. Try tanscy'tea, for breakfast worm.
wood dumplincs, for dinner; and gall, for
supper: and if that don't bring them to their
milk, turn them dry, until after Richmond is
taken. There is no Use in fighting, and feed.
lng and clothing an enemy, if you want to
conquer him. 1t is high time to stop spoon
victuals for traitors! What's the use Of be.
ing Union man, when Gold and Traitors
command about the same premium in West
Virginia? tell you, Mr.. Guard, that's tho
screw that's loose
Now the fact is, Guard, there are too many
Of these Rebs. putting OH Union faces ercas.
ing their mouths and fastening back their cars.
to suit my notion. But Just let q Union
soldier touch their pocket; trcspass on their
cabbage or tater patch, and then you will see
the cars unlooped and such another Drawing
stamping, snorting and cavorting, rs would
scare any Quartermastcr out of nav for dam.
ages! tell you, Mr.. Guard, the Govern.
ncnt has got the cam-rod on the wrong wrist
and is working the thing backwards all the
time. Now, just change the cam.rod, tighten
the screw, and Dixie S "gonc up for ninety
days. MOSES
VI. 4