, 1864-02-06
Irish Compliments.

Irish Compliments.
The following compliments were paid to
Sheridan, in Norfolk, by an Irish servant of
Mr.. Coke's, who attended him on his shoot
ing excursion, and which Sheridan retold
with great glee
Shot the 1st the birds getting away
"More powder to your honor Did you see
one little fellow drop his legs as he wint off
He'll niver stand on his tin toes agin p'
Shot I'd (ditto)-"Tare an ages there they
go But didn't your honor hear the shot
rattle among thin like pays agin the windy
They will pray nivir to see your honor agin
on this side iv the counthry." Shot Sd
(birds all fly off again n)-'Thunder an ounsl
but they cotch it (After watching them
awhile.) There's three wounded any how,
for they had hardly stringth to fly over the
hedge yondher; divil wink ofshleep they'll
git this blissid nightl" Shot 4th "a pleas
ant gets away)-"Well nivir seen a poor
gintleman taken like him he'll reminder
yer honor many long day for that The
spalpeen is carryin' away more shot than
would set up an ironmonger at Skibbereen."
may say cake, my fine fellow You may
take yer long bill to the other world. You'll
wako tomorrow mornin' with lumbager in
yer soft head p
Sheridan could stand this no longer, but
gave his eountryman fee for his ingenuity,
and proceeded ON his way.
MODERN ECONOMY OF TIME-The Sci
entyfc american thus shows how time has
been economized by the application of ma
chinery
One man can spin more cotton yarn now
than four hundred men could have done in
the same time in 1869, when Arkwright,
the best cotton spinner, took out his first
patent
One man can make as much -four in day
now as hundred and fifty could century
ago.
One woman can now make as much lace
in a day as a hundred women could a hun
dred years ago.
1t now requires only as many days to re-
fine sugar, as it did months, thirty years
ago.
1t once required six months to put quick
silver on glass; now it needs only forty
minutes
The engine of a frst-rate iron-clad frigate
will perform as much work in day as forty
ty-two thousand horses.
AT Boulogne, during the reception of her
Majesty, number of English ladies', in their
anxiety to see everything, pressed with so
much force against the soldiers who were
keeping the line, that the latter were, in
some instances, obliged to give way, and
generally were-to use the expression of the
policemen-impeded in the execution of
their duty The officer in command, MOTTO
ing the state of affairs, shouted out, 'One
roll of the drum, then if they don't keep
back, kiss them ALL
AT the first sound from the parchment,
English ladies took to flight If they had
been French, says the Partisan journalist,
they would have remained to a woman.
GEN. ROBERT ANDERSON, the hero of
Sumter, has been placed upon the retired
list by the President, upon the recommen-
dation of the Retiring Board. The retire
ment of General Anderson is understood to
be in entire concurrence with his wishes, as
the health of the great soldier has long been
such as to necessiate his seeking condition
of permanent repose.
Two little boys, who were brothers, were
busily engaged talking together one Sun
day, when they were overheard by their
father, holding the following dialogue:
'Willie, don't you wish you could walk on
the water as Jesus Christ did?'
1T isn't right, Charlie, to say Jesus Christ
you mustn't take His name in vain
yes, it is, Willie, right to say Jesus
Christ, if you only say it with sorroactM
face
THE Bitter BIT.-What is the difference
between Roman Catholic Archbishop and
a donkey, asked a young officer dining with
Archbishop Whately. And replied, because
one wears his cross before and the other be-
hind
And what asked Whately, is the differ
ence between an aide-de-camp and donkey?
1 cannot tell, said the officer Neither can
/, said the Archbishop.
"Bobby, what does your father do for
living ?"
He's philanthropist, sir p'
A what ?"
GA philanthropist, sir; he collects money
for Central Africa, and builds houses out of
the proceeds"
/" Sammy, my boy, what are the breeches
of trust z" said father to his smartest
son.
What funny question pa p
f" Can't you answer it, Sammy?"
Yes, pa; but don't like to-"
/" What silly boy; come, out with it, my
son."
/" Well, pa, your Sunday trousers are
breeches of trust because you got them on
tick"
An old Yankee, when he was told by an
English tourist in this country, that the
celebration of the 4th of July would soon be
extinct answered: "See here, stranger,
don't talk that Wav tell Won when thn