The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1864-07-21
The Great American Snowman returns from
California.
A Wards Opinion on Matters al
Things Generally.

noticed and admired in varis parts of the
United States of America large yeller hand
bills, which not only are gems of art in
themselves, but they troothfully sit forth
the attractions of my show--a show, let me
here obsarve, hatcontains many Twin wild
animals, every one Of which has got Beau
tiful Moral.
Them hanbilIs is scuIpt in New York.
&, annoolly repair here to git some more
on EN-; .a Il. ..s.
&, bein' here, thot i'd issoo Address to
the public on matters and things
Since last meyandered these streets,
have been all over the Pacific Slopes and
Utah. l cum back now, with my virtoo
unimpaired, but I've got to git some new
cloths.
Meny changes has taken place even durin
my short absence, & sum ON um is Sollum
to contemplate. The house in Varreck
street, where used to Board, is bein torn
down. That house, which was rendered me
moriable by liven into it, is parsin away
parsin' away" But some OF the tlmbers
will be made into canes, which will be sold
to my admirers at the low price OF one dol
lar each. Thus is changes goin' on contln-
erly In the New World it is war--in the
Old World Empires is totterin' & Dysenta-
ries is crumblin. These canes is cheap at
dollar.
Sammy Booth, Duane street, sculps my
handbils, & he's a artist. He studied
in Rome-State of New York.
Pm here to read the proof-sheets Of my
handbils as fast as they're sculpt You have
to watch these ere printers pretty close, for
they're jest as apt to spell wurd rong as
anyhow.
But | have time time to look round sum
& how do | find things l return to the
Atlantic States after a absence Of ten months
what staff do l find the countryin? Why |
don't know what State find it in. Suffice
it to say ahat / do not find it in the State OF
New Jersey
find some that is cheerin, particly the
resolve on the part Of the wimin of Ameri-
ca to stop wearin' furrin goods.
Ineyer NEEDLE with my wife's things.
She may wear muslin from Greenland's icy
mountains, aud bombazeen from lnjy's cor
al strands, if she wants to; but Pm glad
to state that superior woman has peeled OIL
all her furrin cloths and jumpt IN to fabrics
of domestic manufacture.
But, says some folks, if you stop impor-
tin things, you stop the Revenoo. That's
all right We can stand it if the Revenoo
can On the same principle young men
should continer to get drunk on French
brandy and to make their livers as dry as a
corn cob with cuby cigars because sooth
if they don't it will hurt the Revenoo. This
talk bout the Revenoo is Of the bosh, bosh
y. One thing is tol'bly certain--if we don't
send gold out of the country we shall have
the consolation Of knowing that it is in the
country. So | say great credit is doc the
wimin for this patriotic move-and to tell
the trooth, the wimin generally know what
they're bout. Of all the blossoms they're
the soothnest If there'd never bin any
wimin, where would my children he to
day?
But hope this move will lead to other
moves that air just as much needed, one of
which is a genral and therrer curtailment
of expenses all round. The fact is, we air
gettin' terribly extravagant, & onless we
pause in our mad career, in less than two
years the goddess of liberty will be seen
dodgin' into Pawn Brokers shop with the
other gown done up in bundle, even if she
don't have to Spout the gold stars in her
head band Let us all take hold jintly, and
live and dress oentsibly; like our forefath-
ers who know'd moren we do, if they want
quite SO honest! (Suttle goaketh)
There air other cheerin' signs We don't
for instuns, lack great Gen'rals, aud we ser
tinly don't lack brave soljcrs-but there's
one thing | wish we did lack, and that is
our present Congress.
| venture to say that if you sarch Goddle-
mity's footstool all over with ten-hoss
power millriscope, you won't be able to find
such another pack of poppycock gabblers as
the present Congress Of the United States OF
America.
Gentlemen of the SENT & of the House,
you've sot there and draw'd your pay and
made summer complaint sbeeches long
enutf The country at large, incloo din the
undersigned is Disguised with you. Why
don't you show us statesman-sumbody
who can make a speech that will hit the
poplar hart right under the Great Public
weskit? Why don't you show us states
man who can rise up to the Emergency, and
cave in the Emergency's head.
Congress, you won't do. Go home, yon
vulnerable deviIs-go home!
At a special Congressional lection i'll my
district the other day, delib'ritly voted for
Henry Clay. admit that Henry is dead,
but inasnudh as we don't seem to have a
live statesman in our National Congress, let
us by all means have iirst-class corpse.
Them who think that a cane made from
the timbers of the house | once boarded In
is essenshal to their happiness, should not
delay about sendin' the money right on for
one
And now with genuine hurrar for the
wimen who are goin' to abandon Turin
goods, and another for the patriotic every
| where's, I'll leave public matters and indulge
in a little pleasant family gossip.
My reported capture by the North Amer
can saviiis Of Utah, led my wide circle Of
friends and creditors to think that had bid
adoo to earthly things, and was angel
playin' on golden harp. Hents my rival
| home was unexpected.
| 1t was II in the evening when | reached
my honestid and knoclt healthy knock
on the door thereof
A nightcap thrusted itself out Of the win
der Ut was my betsy's nightcap,) And a
voice said:
"Who is it ?"
at is a man p 1 answered in gruff vols,
81 don't believe it :" she sed
'eThen come down and search me-" re-
piled.
Then resumin' my natral voice. sald'
at is your own A. W., Betsy? Sweet lady
wake Ever Of thou"
''Oh," she said, 'its you is, it? thought
| smelt something"
But the old girl was glad to see me.
In the mornin' found that my family
were enternin' artist from Philadelphy, |
who was there paintin' some startIin' water
falls and mountains, and | NORM suspected
he had hankerin' for my oldest dauter.
s'Mr Skimmerhorn, father" said my
dauter.
'Glad to see you, sir" replied in a hos
pittle vols; ''glad to see you.
''He is an artist, father, sed my child.
IA whichist p
Gan artist painter"