Gold Hill daily news. [volume] (Gold Hill, N.T. [Nev.]) 1863-1882, 1864-02-03
A Minnesota Law Suit.

The following from the La Crosse Demo
crat for an actual fact, is the richest within
our knowledge:
In the semi-rural district of Winona, forty
miles north of this city on the Minnesota
side Of the Mississippi river, lives, among
several people, a jolly good fellow Of JUS
tice of the Pease, whose ideas of matters are
much like the current Of deep river. Once
started in deep riEcr it is hard to turn them,
On fair day last week, after the 10 X II law
diSpensary had been swept; after ithe chairs
had been set in a short row against the side
of the Office, and sundry whipped guilds Of
tobacco and mutilated cigar stubs had been
kicked under the stove, there was wooden
step on the stairs and vigorous knock ai
the door. a,-ii, nsf
"Come in" said the Justice, as he settled
into legal look SO bcftting man Of law
duly elected to dispense the farors Of the
blind goddess. -.
A stout woman entered. She had on q
short wooden dress, wooden soled shoes,
sported red checks, black hair, and eyes that
snapped like the lock of shot gun. In a
Portuguese accent, and in the worst possible
English; she said: .. ..........' '-...
"You law man"
eyes; madam be seated"
WANT paper. Want paper to take man.
Just then stout French half-Lrecd enter
ed the room. lie was unable to speak half
dozen words, and looked either scared or
bashful The Judge saw at once that there
was marriage to coriie of, and said to the
woman, who stood with, compressed lips
watching the justice and the door:
"Want paper to take this man Z"
ayes, want paper. Me teach him. (Nice
woman, thought the Justice.) He no good
man. Me take him so quick ds cam"
"All right, my covics-fx you in the jerk
of lambs tall" said tue Justice, as he
turned to the man and said: "You know
this woman-can you take herr"
The man shook his head and muttercd un-
intelligible words.
"Ah! see. Can't talk English. Well,
never mind"
He ran into the street, invited few friends
up stairs, and on returning with them said
to the woman.
"You want to take this man for better or
for worse -
"Yes-me want to take him-mc pay"
"All right =
Then turning to the man who stood trem-
bling:
"You take this woman for better or for
worse, and promise to keep her." &C., &c.
"UmpA" " and several mods of the head.
"Then in the name OF law, and by virtue
of the authority in me vested, pronounce
you man and wife" And he stepped for
ward before the woman could say word,
and kissed her red lips.
Slap came her hand in his face, and she
clutched his hair. The new husband jump
cd in to take the woman away, and to protect
her, as the Justice supposed, when, in self
preservation, he hit him rap on the nose.
The woman pitched into the new husband,
who, in turn, pitched into her, and for about
five minutes, there was general bustlinS
and a display of legs, gartcrs and things de-
cidedly astonishing.
At last, the parties were scparated-when
the man and woman took another turn at
each other, the blood and hair flying in all
directions. Down came the stove, over went
the table, clatter went the chairs, and into
she street like mad went the Justice with a
black eye and the bosom Of his shirt
looking like warranty deed covered with
rcd seals!
4 crowd rushed up stairs and found the
man and woman lying on the floor, hugging
each other like young bruins, their arms and
legs mixed up worse than tomato vines, the
woman on top!
The newly married couple were separated,
when through the aid Of two interpreters it
was discovered that the night before, the par
ties occupying adjoining shanties in the lower
part of town, had got into quarrel over a
stove pipe, which was claimed by both, and
from words they came to blows. Each party
had hastencd to the Justices Office in the
mo rning, for u warrant for the other, with the
result as stated above. The last news from
there was that the parties had gone in search
of another justice to uumarry them, while
the genial cause of their terrible squabb!e
was "sctting up the boy" aud bathing his
bunged eye in camphcne and whisky.