The Burlington weekly hawk-eye. [volume] (Burlington [Iowa]) 1860-1876, 1864-11-26

TALE OF THE GREAT SARATOGA
bNK<--Old Anthracite has very dear
4fe-s0*dear that she costs him on her
dollars q year. Mrs. Anthracite always
has the latest fashions, SO when the great
Saratoga trunk was exhibited in Broadway
Mrs. A. instantly purchased one for her
summer trip.
Every one knows that the great Saratoga
trunk b an npexceptiOnab trunk. II Is
coldssa1-of Titanic proportions. Cheops.
have found ample. accommodations for
her entire household in the great Saratoga
trunk. IS.
Accordingly down vent Mrs. A. to the
great watering place, with her great trunk.
She had not been long there, however, I'M
| til old Anthracite received private dis
| patch from friend to inform him that his
Belzebub, the son and heir OF old Belzebub
the great soap boiler. Anthracite Instant
| ly takes the train, arrives at the hotel, and
| inuuiriux the number of his wite's room,
quietly walks up stairs. His wife's door is
shut. Anthracite knocks. The door opens
after some delay. Mrs. A. fiutters, which
| tluttar increases to dismay, when she sees
her husband. Husband enters coolly; ex-
plains that he just came to see how she was
getting along, and seats himself on the Sar-
atoga trunk. Drops a glove, the picking
up Of which enables him 10 look under the
bed No one there, Mrs. A looked as il
some one ought to be there. Husband
talks OF the weather, and the pair are sit
| ting down to little light conversation,
when old Anthracite remarks quietly:
Mrs. A. there's rat in your trunk"
Mrs. A. turns pale through her paint
No: husband is mistaken. Tic rat is in
the wainscot. They are always there, those
rats. Husband is sure il Is in the trunk
He smells him; he will examine. Mrs. A
very anxious he should not. He can't
The trunk is shut and she has lost the Key.
Husband Eegstc contradict. Tie key was
in the lock-the lid was open.
| Husband, amid the protestations Of Mrs.
A., half raised the lid. No crinoline, no
shawls, no lace, no furbelows in the great
Saratoga trunk; only young Belzebub's
glossy curls and killing mOustache are vis-
ible. Mrs. A. instantly faints. 1t Is the
What does husband do? Shoot young Bel
zebub? Not bit Of it. He smiles grinlly
and shuts the lid down again, locking the
great Saratoga trunk. He rings the bell;
tells the waiter to bring gimlet. Bores a
few holes in the great trunk. Orders up
the porter, and goes off to New York ac-
What would the trunk not have given for
cigar in baggage wagon when 1t smelled
the tobacco smoke that was SO literally
putfed about! The trunk, although nearly
| suffocated, thought best to keep quiet. Ar
rived at New York, old Anthracite told the
people IT the depot, loud enough for the
great S;gatoga trunk to hear him, that he
would Fave his baggage ut the office for a
few day. when he would send for it. I This
was NOR. than the great trunk could bear,
80 it kicked, shouted, and made y noise, till
it was bsoken open, aud to the amazement
of everybody poor Belzebub crawled out
IN limping condition. He tried to tell
the people that it was done for bet, but
somehow the truth leaked out, and pre-
dict that next summer there will be fewer
great Saratoga trunks at the Springs, I
think old Anthracite had the best OF il,
don't you?
ENGLISH COURT Goss1P-THE LOVE
FIT AND LOVER OF THE Princess MARY
OF CAMBRIDGE.-The pages of Punch are
among the last from which one would hope
TO CLEAN . paragraph of gossip. But yet
there is one member of that mystic broth
hood who constitute the staff at No. 81
Fleet street, who, from his disposition and
social position, Is generally thoroughly in
informed OF what is going on. TO this gen.
tleman We probably owe the information
c)vertly given in last weeks number
lcovertly, we say, because the writer found
-
~ paper comparatively unknown, and
grated thereon his own information; the
result of which is that what Mr.. Thacke.
ray delighted to call q "R-y-l-p-n-a-g-e,"
and which no one will have at least dill
Guilty in detecting AS the Princess Mary Of
Cambridge, is sought in marriage by a
noble viscount, whose army service enti-
ties him to all sorts of noble and gallant
epithets. The lady-and the lady in ques-
ton. besides being princess, is a lady /:
Z h terms are NJ always synonymous-S
agreeable, aud all that is disagreeabe is
that wretched piece of legislation, the Roy
al NJ arrisge Act, which requires the COLI
sent OF the Sovereign to ti,e union Of "a
member of the royal family to a person
not OF royal blood. This consent tor her
present 'Most Gracious is not gracious
enough to give: and though Mr.. Punch,
with an amount OF saccharine matter
which shows that he has not studied MIR.
Ban.ing's pamphlet, expressed a hope that
will be forthcoming, yet the withholding
If the royal approval Is evidently the hitcn
in the matter. Let US hope that it will be
finally graciously, and gracefully yielded,
In the whole GUelphic family there is no
one more popular than the Princess Mary,
and the people of England would infinite
~ sooner see her welded to all English
ncbleman for whom she cares, than to q
German one whom she may never have
that is easily arrived at. Our friend Punch
says: "All happiness TO Viscount Cucui-
ius.' Scraps OF schocl-boy classic lore yet
lingering i'll odd corners OF memory re-
mind us OF the odd i,roverb, non Jucit mon
dchssm caeutius the hood does not make
the monk-ald then looking INTO that
neerag which every well regulated Bril-
ton Keeps by him, we tlnd that Eiscount
Hood served in the guards; and 10, on the
ingenious priDciple ascribeI to the first
cooper OF putting two and two together,
Rfhe whole mystery is solved. gtt..ss
A citizen OF Birmingham has in his pos
session the largest copper iiol ever bro i III.
to England, and one of the modern won.
ders OF the world. Under a shed in his
coach-yard is no less parsonage than the
god Buddha, measuring over seven feet in
length, aud one OF the most marvellous
pieces OF copper castings ever iound. Di-
| rect from one of the lower rooms Of his
temple, where he had hidden away some
two thousand years ago, his godship has
been brought to Birmingham, and will be
presented TO the town by his present