The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1864-08-26
Editorial Squibs:

NieoA AoA o4u1OS'
We are often highly amused at the witty
sayings of our brethren of the press, who
seem always ready with pun or retort, on
any and every subject of the day. Often
when we wearied with looking over our huge
pile of exchanges, We find our very souls re-
freshe1 by hearty laugh-and We belong
to that class of people who know just how t.
laugh-caused by some editorial wtticism.
In the hope that We may cause moments
pleasure to some wearied and worried fellow
edtor,we have clipped some of these "SoUIBs,"
and shall "let off few of them occasion ally
in ;he NEWS LETTER until we "run out of
the supply-unless a fresh as sortment should
arrive from the sources. An editor heads an
item. "ASOTHER EDITOR DEAD" 10 60 our
assistant editor, the scissors, to clip an
item to be placed under its appropriate head
ing in the News LETTER. when to our cha
grin and amusement We find It's bat ioke.
This is the item:
"Wm. Fisk, Esq, editor of the --
Press is dead. Mr.. F. was poet but some
reason or other. did not like our views upon
the merits of his poetry. ana So cut us from
his exchange list. We, however, continued
to send him the Transcript and yesteaGay it
was returned to this office marked. Send
this paper to HI. This was the first in
timaton We had of MIR. rs death, and We
suppose he left word with his son to send
his exchanges to his new abode" Phanzy
phriend Phisk's pheelings. Killing man
off in that way is most too hard. b1t we can
scarcely wonder At it if the poetry spoken
of was anything like that received by an edi
tor, who upon declining the same, remarks to
the poet, Your lines entitled Sympathy
are respectfully declined. The sentiment is
excellent, out the rhythm sounds like rolling
frozen pumpkins on barn floor, and the
measure is not what it should be-" If pro-
duction answering the above description was
really received, We can agree with Punch.
who says, )" The reason why editors are SO
apt to have their manners spoiled, is because
| they receive from one correspondent and
another, such a vast amour. OF evil commu-
ncatons."
But to find the happiest hits, and thrus:s
we turn to those which are written about the
editors unhappiness, for while San editor in
Iowa has become so hollow from depending
upon the printing business alone for b. cad,
that ne proposes 10 sell himself for a stove
pipe another one, In neighbOriug State,
Is so poor that he never stands upon more
than one foot at time, FOR fear that he may
wear out his boots quick and another in
Minnesota "Threatens to break up house
keeping, and 90 to boarding with his delin-
quen, subscribers" Next is one who says
"To those who promised to pay their sub
scription in grain, that unless it is delivered
before the first Of February. he will be COM
PEELED to receive old clothing in its stead,
from which We may infer that anything is
good enough for the printers. Upon the
same subject another one says, "We've no
turnips to mix with our potatoes. Don't
bring us any more apples. We have for the
present, quantum suhici, which means
great slathers," while still another, with hi:
mind rather tending towards animal than
vegetable food, informs his delinquent sub
scribers that He has responsibilities thrown
upon him which he is obliged to meat" One
editor announces that " The publication o
/, his paper will be suspended for six weeks, il
: order that he may visit st. Louis with Loaf
of bear skins, hoop-poles, shingles, oat bark
. picked cat fish, &C.. which he has :aken OF
r subscriptions" while an able cotemporar,
Issues half sheet, and says if its subscr;
bers don't pay up better, the editor will hav
to issue semi-montbiy, monthly, or not a
: all" One who aspires to foreign correspon
;. dence but who was short Of travelling funds
:, {" Sat upon saw-horse for an imaginary jour
ney and wrote letter home to his paper.
t But the mos, accommodating one is Pennsyl
), vania editor who says He intends taking
d tour through the country 10 visit his patron
I and will be prepared to take in trade, wheat
oats, corn, pork, beef, buckwheat, apples, pc
r tatoes, chickens, turkies, pumpkins, butte
e eggs sour crout, horses, mules wagons, calves
y wheel barrows, harness, hoop-poles, latl
e lime, apple, butter, stocking yarn, hard soa!
cider, dried apples, beans, turnips, WOO
l. feathers, geese, ducks, dry goods, grocerie
o hardware, queensware, and ready made clott
a ing, or anything else eatable, at the currer
S. market value" One nearly as accomoda.in
j. says "Although we prefer the money, y
n those who can't pay it will please send U
is some Of their old clothes, shanghai eggs, SOU