The Portland daily press., 1864-03-05

you seize the nearest paper; its the double
sheet and contains an unread hospital sketch,
the presidents message, and an article on
Our DISTRACTED Country" Distracted country,
What's that in case like this You wouldn't
saveit-the paper, no, nor the country either
at this moment, If you could SO in it goes and
by dint of some vigorous blowing, with your
lungs for a bellows, you worry up blaze.
Now for breakfast. You would like baked
potatoes but these are out of the question
when the oven wont 'siss' for a long hour yet;
so You dump them into kittle of water, and
set your wits to work to see what else you
can get with the least possible fire. Beefsteak
is good half cooked, and on that you decide;
but even then you must have three minutes
white heat to do it nicely. To add to 20 ur
anxiety, you have a temporary boarder,
young man from the neghboring college with
very white hands and very soft voice, and in
truth very pleasing manner, though he did
make the remark the other evening in
your presence that he considered eighteen
dollars and board round a meager compensa-
ton for his services. To be sure he changed
the subject Immediately and looked as If he
regretted the remark; but, as usual with us
poor women, it was too late, the arrow had
gone home, and you resolved he should have
no reason to complain of boarding round while
under your roof. Having made all necessary
preparations, you proceed to cook the steak.
Broiling is not to be thought of, where Goals
are not, and an article yclept Spider is
brought into requisition, heated to smoking
point buttered slightly, and well pounded
slice laid in.
Now comes the tug of war, the time that
tries women's souls, for on this dish depends
all the rest; fspoilt, nothing can make il up;
if otherwise, nothing can be very bad. You
watch it with an interest akin to that with
which an experimenting chemest watches his
crucible. Ninety seconds, and one side is a
dry, crisp brown; you tLrn il over, almost
praying that the other may do as well. But
alas for humad hopes, the word of promise is
not kept even to the ear. An ominous s-z-z-z-z
strikes your tympanum, and in moment your
beautiful steak lies blubbering in sea of its
own blood. There is no hope now, it has
wept its life away and nothing remains but a
fabby, tasteless mass, which one would al
most be ashamed to offer a hungry dog
/ About this time you look at the fire and IL you
don't think 'sumlin bad then we are not all
made alike originally, or else you have reach
ed higher round ON the ladder of morality
than one poor woman wot Of
But lit ofrepentance comes over me.
meant to have taken you through n whole
day-baking day-when the bread rises and
rises, aud runs over before you can get the
oven hot enough to receive it, and finally
comes out as pale as your own sad, worried
face; day when the brown loaf reveals
hearts as heavy as the leaden thing within
| your bosom, and as raw as the ever fresh, ever
| open wounds occasioned by that cruelest OF
weapons, poor wood; a day when the cakes
for the Christmas tree fall flat and the pam
cakes are pronounced sickly, and fears ex-
| pressed by the wag of the family that they are
in decline; a day when the nutcakes are TAT
| soaked and the roast pork rare; day when
| on seeing load of friends drive up to the
| gate for an afternoon visit, you clasp yoru
| hands Electrically, exclaiming, not a stick
short enough for the parlor stove rYes, l in
tended you should have had the whole day
clear up to the hour when you creep SILVER
| iDgly from cold room into icy sheets, and at
last, when snugly folded in the arms of Nor
| pheus, have decidedly new revelation of be-
attic regions; a heavenly form hovers over
| you, and with one hand pointing upward,
| whispers, Child, be comforted; there, there Is
| no poor wood Let me caution you against
| repeating your dream to the family, lest you
| should be met with the query IF the vstant
wasn't pointing down instead of up?' It's a
low insinuation, any way, and not worthy a
| thought, for i'll have been rightly instructed
they don't depend ON wood down there But
spare you not because the subject is ex-
hausted but my fire is; not out of regard for
| your feelings, but in consideration of my own
| Poor Toms cold Not from any Interrupt
ton in the flow OF words, but an interruption
in the flow OF the pen; nor from a.congelation
of idears the congelation is in the inkstand.
Ia truth the puzzle has been all along, not to
say what have said, but TO leave out what
have left unsaid. As ARENAS would say, it's
perlifle subject And now whip my fingers
and breathe on my pen that | may indite this
my latest asseyeration had darling daugh-
ter to give in marriage, the first question con-
| corning him who should ask for my treasure
would be, not what is the state of his morals
but what is the state of his woodpile? And If
any are so daring as to question the judicious-
ness OF such proceeding, may they have the
'feyer-n-ager' without qunine for half centu-
| ry or so, and then spend the rest of their days
hutless on the glaciers OF Greenland.-l Spring
| field Republican.