Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1864-10-20
A Missionary in DR.. Odds New Church Or
dained BY Rev. Petroleum Y. Nasty.

was lizeust and ordand He is yooth of
much promise. He voted Bookanon, and
only Is years old; swor in his vote with
cooiness that eggsited the admirashun Nv the
paftrarks at the biznis. / kin safely say
tnd1 ne nee whald more Ablishnists, busted
moar Methodist brethrin and uther hetrodox
cnurehes than any Dimocrat Nv his age in the
stait He hez brilyunt fucher
After the usual questions wuz nut him
and satisfactorily ansered the eonGrecrashen
was dismist, and in the presents Nv the elders
ana oehuns alone, delivered the followin
CHARGE:
Brother-Hevin bin reperly ordsnj II only
remanes fer me tn Civ yoo word of council
| 90 air goln into the apossal biznis at raw
Their untayorable time. Man which is horn
| Nv woman hez trouble fer his inheritance
I've he'd so much Nv it that eff had to do II
| over agin | wouldn't be born at all.
The politikle hevins is overcast with pre-
tenshus clowds. The Htenin of wrath IL
leapin from wun to another, whist the thun-
der which was wunst at distans, now rores
angrily In our GERS. The old ship Dimocricy
| IL tossing onto the wild valves, with nary a
sail set, her seems open, the water Ca foreign
element to her insides) rushin in The
stlddlest part Nv her crew seized the botes
| and abandoned her, and the rest Nv EN- are
a titln for the helum.
In the meantime the old ship is dashin
past the haven NV destructshen. To Won IL
entrusted part Nv the work of savin her.
| Let me entreet you:
l. Avoid the soldiers. With them YOU hev
nothin in common, Wunst a party Nv UNI
maid me drink pint Nv water and take the
oath of allejinse, which outrage wuz folered
| by CONGESTION Nv the BOWLS and inflammation
Nv the brain.
= Allus preech agin the niger. It's
soothin to ginooine constitutional Suthern
rites dmocrat to be constantly told that thar
Is a race OF meaner men than he is. Besides
It's sate-the niger haz no vote. Eff he had,
we might vary.
| 3. Alluz hev a master. The stats rites
dlmocrisy alluz sympathize with a man that is
in basteels for sympathyseu with the south,
fer nun ov UNI kno how soon their turn may
| KUN.
4. Preech agin amalgamashun at least
| Sundays per nunth A man NV straw that you
set up yerself is the easiest knoct down, per-
| tikelery if you set him up with view of
| hooking Nv him down.
5. Alluz diloOt yer whisky for new con-
verts. 1t talks much to convert an Abilish-
| mist, and eff you use the pure artikkel it
would kill a ordinary censtitooshen afore
he'd hev time to vote, which wood be aggre-
| vatin.
| 6. Sarch the skripters faithfully for sich
| passage ez kussed be Kanan, sarvance obey
| your masters, and SIGH.
7. Lern to rede, or at lest git the shape
Nv the letters so fxt in your mind that
when 700 quote frum a book or noospaper,
700 will hold it rite side up. Eddiocashen
| hez been CRATE help to me.
s. Lern to spell and pernownce Missenege-
nashun. It's good word.
| The crate leodinp ices Nv orr sekt which
it is your dooty to inkulkate is these: The
nigger's ape, Linkn goril6r, Jeff Davis
| chrischen gentleman, the rebellyun strug-
| gle for rites the soljer a bloody tool, Ben
| Butler beest, ct settra. 700 air never
believe in Federal victrys, but must allus
| credit confederate successes. l woodent adj
wise 700 to let your faith in the confedrisy
go so far as to take their scrip, on yer salary,
neither wood burn greenbax.
hev dun. Go my bruther. Let yer pol
er star be Dimocrisy, yer rallyin cry, "The
Yoonyun ez ct wuz--the Constooshun ez it
IL" which is attitoodious, fte the good fite
and the time will cum when you kin lay OFF
yer arms, and with "P. NJ" after yer naim,
enjoy the repose that alus follows well di-
rected and vigorous effort.
| Brother Punt started to-day for Southern
Iliinoy, where he has chongregashun,
| PETROLEUM V. Massey,
| raster Nv Sed Church III charge.
| Uses OF THE POTATo.-1n France the farina
is largely used for culinary purposes. The
famed gravies, sauces and soups of France
are generally indebted for their excellence to
| that source, and its bread and pastry equally
so; while great deal of the so-called Cognac
| imported into England from France is the
produce of the potato. Throughout Germany
| the same uses are common; and in Poland
the manufacture of spirits from the potato is
| a most extensive trade "Stettin brandy"
well known liz commerce, is largely imported
| into England and is sent thence into many of
| her foreign possessions as the produce of the
grape, and is placed on many an English ia
BILE as the same; while the fair ladies of our
country perfume themselves with the spirit of
potato, under the designation of Eau de Co.
| togne. But there are other uses to which this
esculent is turned abroad. After extracting
the farina, the pulp is manufactured into Or
| namental articles, such as picture frames,
snuff boxes, and several descriptions of toys;
and the water which runs from it in the pro-
cess of manufacture is a most valuable scour-
er. For perfectly cleansing woolens, and
such like articles, it is the housewives pan
acea and if the washerwoman happens to
have chilblains she becomes perfectly cured
by the operation.
THE Corn GRUB-The corn crop has seve-
raj formidable enemies to contend with, and
among them is the grub, which sometimes
literally destroys whole fields, or damages
the crop seriously. One of the best and
most conveient remedies-perhaps the very
| best ever suggested-is the application of
| salt as soon as the plant makes its appearance
above ground, prepared and used in this way:
| Take one part common salt, and three
| parts plaster Of gypsum, and apply about
teaspoonful around each hill. 1t will be
| found to be sure protection. The mixture
should not come in contact with the young
| plants, as it may destroy them. This method
has been tried over and over again by some
of the best farmers of Pennsylvania, Della
ware and Jersey, and when properly applied,
has never failed to be perfectly successful.
We hope our farmers, who have reason to
fear the depredatons of the grub, the present
season, will try this mixture, leaving a few
| alternate rows of corn without the salt, and
| communicate to US the result-Ge1n.ont0wn
telegraph.
WATERING Housewife quantity as well
as the quality of the water given horse viii
| greatly affect his condition. Perhaps no ami
NAL is more distressed by thirst than the
horse. a fact not generally known, or if
known not fully appreciated. Horses should
he watered regularly when not at work, as
well as when at work, provided, in the latter
| case that care is taken not to let him have
il when over-heated by work. Irregularity
| in the supply of water is often followed by a
refusal to take solid food, and more fire.
ouently by collie and founder, in consequence
| of his drinking inordinately when an oppor-
| tunity offers. For horses, when they are not
at work. it is perfectly safe to keep supply
of water always within their reach but, as
before remarked, there is some danger in