Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1864-11-10
How to Make Friends Uncomfortable.

The same utteranCe may be an impCrti-
nence, an unpalatable truth, or Il disagreeable
thing, according to time and circumstances
For example, i'll Il fit of absence, we perpc-
trate some soleCism in dress or behavior 1t
is an unwelcome truth to be told it, while
there is yet opportunity for remedy or partial
remedy; it is an impertinence to be inform
ed of it by stranger who has no right to
concern himself with our affairs it is dis
agreeable thing when--the occasion past-our
friend cnlightens us about it, simply as a
piece of information. We all of US, no doubt
have friends, relations and acquaintance who
think it quite sufficient reason for saving
thing, that is true. Probably we have our
selves known the state of mind in which we
find certain fact or opinion a burden, load
to be got rid of; and under the gross mistake
that all truth must be spoken, that it is I'M
candid nd dangerous not to deliver a testi-
mony-convinced that truth, like murder,
will out, and that our friend, sooner or later,
must learn the unacceptable tact-we come
to the conclusion that it is best for all parties
to get the thing over by being ourself the
executioner. We have most Of us acted the
eRfat terrible at some time or other. But
this crude simplicity of candor, where it is
the result of the mere blind, intrusive asser-
ton of truth, is a real weight; and the pri-
mary law of poiteness, never to give
unnecessary pain, as soon as it is APP
pretended, is welcomed as deliverer-
Children and the very young have not eXpe-
rience enough for any but the most limited
sympathy, and can only partially compare
the feelings of others with their own In
deed the idea of the comparison does not oc-
cur to them. But there are people who, i'll
this respect, remain children all their days
and very awkward children too, who burst
with fact as the fool with his secret, and
like the hair dresser in Leech's carcature
are impclled to tell us that our hair is thin
at the top, though nothing whatever is to
come of the communication. These, as Sid
ney Smith says, turn friendship into system
of lawful and unpuniShable impertinence
from, so far as we can see, no worse cause
than incontnence of fact and opinion-feel
ing it to be a sufficient triumphant defense
of every preparation OF the sort, that it is
true. "Why did YOU tell Mr.. So-and-so that
mis- sermon was fifty minutes long?" "Be-
cause had looked atmy watch" "Why did
you remind such one that he is growing fat
and old ?" Because he is" "Whv repeat
that unfavorable criticism ?" a had lust
read it." "Why disparage this mans partic
ular friends?" 81 don't like them" "Why
say to that young lady that her dress was un
becoming?" 81 really thought So" 1t is
however, noticeable in persons of this OBJ
trusive oandor, that they have eyes for blem
ishes only They are never impelled to tel
pleasant truths, from which, no doubt, we
may infer certain acerbity of temper, tho
these structures may be spoken in seeming
blunt, honest good humor. Still, they tall
in this way from natural obtuseness and in
inherent defect of sympathy