Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1864-08-18
GAMBLERS ANNUITY.

Some men are born 10 greatness, solllt
achieve it, others have it thrust upon them
The case was otherwise as regards the great
ness OF Gambler Gambler purchased his
greatness, and got it at bargain. cen
tury ago Gambler sold tripe at TottletOn. He
sold good tripe, and consequently was a IA
nous man in his line and time. But Gambler
aspired to fame after death-to an immortal
name in the ear of succeeding generations of
Tottletonians. Triple was not calculated to
give it him. Posterity would not be likely
to remember that their ancestors bought good
tripe at the shop of Gambler. But still the
tripe-seller of TOttletOn was resolved that
the name Of Gambler should be handed down
to generations vet unborn. This is how
Gambler did it. He made will and died
The making of the will was a deliberate al
fair; but not so the dying part Of the bust
ness Gambler did not intend to die when he
did, but he could not help himself In the
full vigor of his manhood he fell victim to
hard boiled eggs. They opened Gambler and
declared hard-boiled eggs to be the cause, and
then they opened the will, and found that the
eminent trpe-seier of Tottleton, setting
aside his relatives, had left all his worldly
wealth to be applied to the purposes Of char
ity The reward of conscientious tripe-Sel-
ling had not been great, for the whole of
Gamblers worldly wealth amounted to no
more than two hundred pounds. In his will
he directed that this sum should be placed
out at interest; and that the annual proceeds
should form an annuity to be granted by the
votes of the househOlders of TottletOn TO des-
titute but deserving old men of that parish.
1t was especially directed that the benevo-
lence should be called "Gandler's Annuity"
! was first brought to a knowledge of the
nj
ago when | went out to take up my abode
at TOteleton. TOttleton is a very pretty place
in the merry month of July; and the chest
nut and laburnum trees which line both sides
of the broad white road which constitutes
TettlCtOns only street, are most beautiful to
see, especially when they are in full bloom
But there was another beautiful feature of
TOttletown which seemed to do it infinitely
more credit-its almshouses. 1t appeared to
me that the private houses bore no sort of
adequate proportion to them, and the only
houses which did were the public-houses.-
The way i'll which these two institutions
were regularly alternated on both sides ofthe
road for more than a mile suggested that the
one was the cauS of the other 1t seemed
as if the public-hOuses. had brought the
whole neighborhood to poverty, and consign-
ed the entire population to dependence The
moral inscriptions which met the eve told but
of two things--strong drink and old men and
women of the parish come to grief The
Cock and Bottle appeared to be responsible
for seven poor old men; the Nag's Head fOl
nine poor old women; and the bell for four.
teen orphan girls. There was, however. :
striking disproportion between the size of the
public houses and that of the aImshouses-
The latter were so small and compact, and
with large superscripton i'll front of them,
so like Il neat parcel, that .hey might have
been brought down from somewhere by the
carrier. Possibly they might have been left
at the Cock and Bottle til called for.
Well; if the sins of Tottleton had been
multitudinous, Charity had done her best to
cover them.
had mentally pointed this moral when
Mr.. Gubbins, running out from the Swan, ad-
dressed me. Perhaps | should state that |
honored the Swan with my patronage, as re-
CARDS the family mild ale.
Beg your pardon, sir; but I'll take it as
favor if you will give your vote for Pars-
ley"
l ventured to inquire who Parsley was, and
what he was standing for Was it the Dor
ough, the country, or simply the vestry.
No; Parsley did not aspire so high. He
was merely a candidate for Gamblers Annui
He was seventy-fve years of age, native Of
the parish had paid rates and taxes for over
forty years, was eaten up with the rhematics
was past work. bore excellent character
and hadn't penny in the world. Gamblers
Annuity, amounting to 50 las. I'd. wOulC
make him happy and comfortable for the re
mainder of his days. The statemen, of Pars
ley's numerous merits i'll the way of age, des
titution and incapacity was not to be resisted
and | think | should have cried "Parsle,
forever!" or the spot, only it occurred to me
considering Parsleys age, that it wouldn't be
much use. However, ] promised to ent"~ an
appearance on the following evening, anC
vote for Parsley.
When at the appointed time turned ou
into the village, and came in sight of the
Swans swinging sign, could see that some
thing was creating great sensation. 1t wa;
the election for Gamblers Annuity. CoulC
Gambler have looked up from his grave he
would have had no regrets on the score OF
the hard boiled eggs. That fatal indigestion
had awoke to glorious Immortality. The
honored name of Gambler was in every
mouth. The boys shouted it in triumph; the
grown-up people murmured it in grateful ad
miration; and i'll the bow-window of the
Swan it was inscribed in large letters, hinG
side foremost, in the innocent idea that ar
inscription designed to be read from the in
side could be easily deciphered from the out
On mingling with the little crowd that haC
collected round the horseback under the
Swans swinging sign, found the merits O.
the candidates being discussed with great
animation. | say candidates; for l nov
learned for the first time that Parsley was
not the only one. There was another, anC
his name was Barrowfeld. Would l vote
for Barrowfeid?
According to the representations of his
friends at the horseback, Barrowfeld was
aged, INDECENT, and afflicted TO an unprece
denied extent. One bold partisan ventured
upon the assertion that Barrowfeld had been
present at the coronation OF George the
lhird' Another declared that, however that
might be, he could testify from his own
knowledge that Barrowfeld had been pres
ent at the military practice last " ednesday
week, and that he had not even winked wher
they let off the six hundred FOUNDER This
was adduced IN evidence of the profound anC
stony character of Barrowfeld's deafness
1t Is mentioned, as further supporting Bar
rowfeld's claim to the bounty of the immor
tai Gambler, that even if he were elected anC
were provided with victuals for the rest O
his life, it would not be of much advantage
to him, as he hadn't a tooth left il his head
1t was also stated incidentally that, in the
course of his long career, Barrowfeld hac
sustained fractures (mostly cempound) of al
most every bone in his body; had lost two
wives, three cows, and donkey; and haC
had his grey hairs brought to the very verge
of the grave by the misconduct of a large
family of sons and daughters, who, according
to the popular account, had fallen in anc
marched quick-step to the bad, in delibe
rate and organized manner.
Hearing of the overwhelming merits o.
Barrowfeld, 1 felt that Mr.. Gubbins had moi
dealt fairly with me. Why had he artfully