The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1864-07-07
NEWSPAPER ALLsPIOE.

A newspaper Is human life fashioned out Of
letters instead Of flesh and blood. 1t represents
humanity filtered through by all the ramifying
channels which diyerge from or interscctit. His
toric scenes and personages play their large part
upon the stage Of double.leaded BREWER while
those Of lesser note are content with the humber
display Of nonpareil. But Insignificant as it may
seem TO the few who never glance at the daily
sheet save for the sake Of seeing who's Died
and who's "Married," or how many "wanteds"
there are, or how many Lost and Stolens" are
advertised, there is one column OF a newspaper
which is, indeed a digest and summary Of the
worlds news.
This column Is called by any quantity of
names, varied to the taste of its presiding genius.
Some newspapers sty le il photographic Crumbs %
some, "Lttle or Nothings;" some, "Triaes Light
as Airi" some, "Our WheebsuOw;" some,
"LOcal Items :" some, "Gleanngs from the Local
Press" some, "Jottings Down." some, "The
News" and some, CONDENSED Locals" One
| peculiar class of them is dubbed personal; !"
another, Foreign Gossip" another "Muslcal
and Dramatic" This yari4eolored column
| contains everything under the sun II is pretty
near omniscient, and can furnish infOrma-
| tion on every object in the heavens above, in
| the earth beneath and In the waters under the
| earth, nor does It entirely ignore whatever may
| sounds all time and all space, and is the epitomo
of creation. But, TO its practical merit be il said,
! 1t deals mostly with affairs terrestrial. Procee l.
ing upon the great Napoleon's plan, it condenses
| paragraphs into sentences and sentences into
| words and Is often interspersed with thoughts
that breathe and words that burn. II is a dia-
moud edition of the history OF thelworld. Its ever
| SO many iliads in ever 80 many nutshells.
| But this wonderful news-cOlumn, modest as Is
| the position II holds in many newspapers, and
| entirely excluded as it is from some, is by no
means carelessly prepared. 1t consists indeed of
orient pearls, and OF every other sort of pearls,
| but not at random strung. AS it should be ellbO-
rated, a quick eye, retentive memory, correct
| judgment, and fine insight are no less requisite
than sharp pair of scissors pot of good paste,
| with pen, ink, and paper to help the work along.
BHt even these would not perfect II to its highest
| pitch were a lively turn Of thought wanting, by
| which dull paragraphs should be sharpened, and
long ones rendered piquant and concise.
| To slash down bulky faggot of a sentence
| into ever SO many slender sticks of fancy may
seem 10 the unintaed easy work for an hours
| diversion now and then, but the aptest of para
| graphists appreciates its difficulties, and knows
that TO succeed in his work he must stick TO II ~
| pertinacously as his own paste, and employ a
| fancy as pointed as his scissors. All varieties
| that can be conceived are included in this anOma-
| lous news column. For this reason, rather than
| the salt of newspaper il should be called the
| allspiCe. In every paragraph we lind different
flavor each contributing to redolently tinCture
! the whole.
In this tablet OF memory we are told in one line
the whole history of some celebrated character. A
| prima donna figures here, priIehghter there.
| The experiences of regimental chaplains; the ad-
| ventures of individual members of veteran regi-
mepts the latest wonderful marriage the history
| ofSpanish dollars the wreck of schooner; tele-
| graphic items; soldier-gir experiences; advance
| in the price of provisions; developments con-
! corning Catawba brandy; debut of an Australian
| sODgstress; the prevalence of scarlet fever
! barbor Qualifications; the cause of the King
I D.. - tka H., ,N.v, .E r.
! British crown; list of the last operas
! the death of n celebrated waltz writer; kero-
| sene oil collections; the religious conferences
the docks Of the police courts; sheep husbandry
! royal cunning excursions mining disasters im-
! proVemouts in military prisons; Tom Thumb and
| his wife; the sanitary fairs; contributions %
| school funds the "cash down management OF
merchants; statistics of looms in operation; shells
| used by ladies' a ornaments rheumatism in high
| life; the forged proclamation; the new opera
| house in Paris; when the state elections come
| of; the latest news from Idaho and Nova Scotia
yenuiloquism In Vermont; Queen Victoria and
| the cause OF Christianity a sCOundre in military
! toggcry; new Internal machine; horrible death
! hy machinery; death of The "Oldest' nun
inftrt sting 10 marble and sone-cutter. siugul lr
| suicide eggs in Paris uuwh slpsOme meats the
| largest riflcd cannon the Fcnian BrJthsrhO)i
| the New York canals; the Atlantic telegraph
| demand for yuuug women as compnstors rue
| Richmond tobacco question; the brave wounded
| in cur hospitals; statue 10 S,Ouewlll jackson
| lDo tBl ulh OF Ntldll dpu1 Ot slf WOMEN
| Of Umh; fourteen MOBILES Of JediO harri-k Tri
! themselves; Victor EmmaruyIs twenty stays
| The bullion cf the Bunk OF England; cnniens 'd
| tC,cgTGms from the Arm Of the Pol0nar---u
take breathing space, these are Il few drops
! gathered heter-ske.ter from the ocean Ot para
! graphs the news column contains.
This column, in short is the Argus and Bril-
rcus of newspaper. We said il dwoIt more in
thiIEs 90 trc Garth than in thCs' above the earth
ard the foregoing cUllcc-On illustrates this. lI
must Ot be said, however, that these items Yell
On tie trivial in lie. Small ~ they seem, when
hastily glanced over, thcy dpHl wrh all tltt m ls
int Icsts men Hnd women. We ike 20 hrlr "a
very latest news Hud the very spiccSt gossip
Our patlics are us wide as they are deep, tnc
ar completely satisfied 10 the variety the new
C 'uHu furnishes.
II We cOu'd on Y he allow, d one more lliu,tri'
tirn, We 81 on d .uEqest thar the news columns
sIo the cBsttrs uuuu 'hg newspaper table'lpth o
life Here We have some yiuegir-not too much
hCe some sult-a pinch now and then; here SOM
CaycIne-the very slightest sprinkle; here so M
black pepper-a liberal supply; here some oil
to be decanted gentlyj and here some mustard
to give a wholesome sharpness 10 the whole. AM
so the social salad is prepared, ready 10 be swal
lowed, and, we hope, digested, by the eyer-hun
cry public Washington Chronicle.