Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1864-12-24

believe in speshlal ordai"ments, sum.
A fu men were ordained to be honest, in
fact poe,ri haz bin rit to prove this posi-
shun, which goes on to say, An honness
man is the nobess work Of God," but the
demand for the wurk baz bin 80 limited,
tha. have thought large share Of the
fust edshun must still be in the hands ov
the author. The wust trouble we awl oy
US hsv is to find our ordainings 10 q spot.
We kommense life-we are somebody's
sweet baby-we have Aaxin hair-we 20
tu district skule-we slide down hill-we
play bookey-we hav grea. difficulty with
our noses-we larn how to smoke, and
6rd ourselves men grown all tu onct.-
Thus far na,ur haz piped, and we hav
danced, and there hain't been no fiddler
tu pa. but now Gums 10 the speshisl ordaiu.
ment time.
l bav bin thru with awl this miself, and
stood on the threshold ov a we'll developed
yung man, a lookin around reddy to be
ordained. felt rs tho wud give $75 At
leas. il sumoody wud cum along and or
dain me, and let me pitch 10. waited
six weeks if recoiekt rite, and never
got the 6rst smell Of emmy ordaining.-
Then l konkluden to ordain miself, hitt or
miss. The fust think tride on was so
akers ov land in the western kuntry. l
ordered the venson and turkeys and pos
sums to leave, for was going to farm it.
l ordained log house and much rale fens
immejitly, and put in n krop of wheat.
aud procured swine and yoke Of Stages.
l worked five years, had the agcr and lite
krops principally, and managed to sink
the farm and stass; | han't seen neither
of them from that day, and don't think |
want tu. l didn't seem to be speshialIy
ordained for farming IN the western
kuntry.
Since that time have tried every kind
Of bizness that could hear oy, and hain't
bin speshially ordained yet 10 mi knoIlege.
The fault all lays in the different kinds of
bizness. l hain't the least dout. The biz.
ness that was designed for me proberiy
hain't bin ordained yet, but intend tn
keep boring, aud when du strike lie,
.hare will be good time generally in my
immegiate neighborhood. lhav got emmy
kwan,ity ov friends, (tha don't seem to
cum by ordinashun.) got mine and man.
age to keep them by not asking for emmy
thing but advice yu kant ask ennylhing
Of man that he loves to give more, and
that costs him less than advice.
1t is hard work to live on advice, and
leave enny,hing left over, unless you are
speshialls ordained. One ov my friends,
fust rate ieller enuff, .he il in the sruy
ov the Pottermuck now. giving advice to
one ov the regimen,s thare; l think he il
o brisAdeer, or ths hav bin teazin him to
be one, l don't kno which wrote 10 me
letter shert time since, adyizing me to
star. on . lektaring tower. If thars is
emmy 5 or 8 things ! dispize, it il . lex.
turing around the kuntry. IL was on
the list Of Dokters of Divinilse, with .
half cured bronkeetis in mi throat, and
had texture 2 hours and half long ON
the kuller ov the red sea, prezuma mite
travel with it. Nj friend in the army I'D.
vized ms to lektnr on Temperance. Ire,
piled to him ~ follers:
DEAR Sea: l hav not konsidered lektur.
ing ON Temperance mi speshial ordaining.
Insver found Riself lodging in somebody's
gutter few years ago. never pulled
out awl ov my wife's hair. nor sold emmy
ov mi hule ihnercent children to buy
spirits with. never had emmy psnes Of
glass in mi window that were exclusively
old hat hsin't adopted green spec.s.
cles on account ov the nstral tendency to
weak eysa that ayl grass j. apt tu wilt in
ho. da, and | hav felt it my duta TO
slrai,en up mi grass gently once in .
while With little good old rye, Ism moro
and morsly convinced that I never vas
spsshially ordained tss 'lsk.ors on TEN.
80. cs> - Ia ~ k~:. :>k