The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1864-02-04
KENOsHA, WISCONSIN, THURSDAY FEBRUARY 4th 1864

u TIED, was very well content to clrculat
among the other ladies and gentlemen Il
4 the course Of the evening, however, ! got a
seat by my wife, and tried to get up a CONVEX
sation with her, but her conduct was inexpli
cable, made several remarks intended to b
very affectionate-sucha as imagined newly
! married man would make to his wife-bu
she gazed into my face without answering
word. tried again and with the same wan
OF success. What could it mean? she wa,
} not dumb for | had heard her speak severa
times during the evening, and her voice wa.
slngularly musical. had been advised o.
her eccentricity, but plague on such eccen
tricity as this / hadn't bargained for it
The crowd finally left, and my wife, Miss
johnson, and myself, were alone. deter
mined to solve the mystery; l did so, anG
what think you, kind reader, was the result
/ Ny rife aoas deaf as a post! Yes sir you
might have fired off cannon within an inch
Of hergear and she would scarcely have heard
It. Wasn't | IN q fix And yet she was SC
pretty, and seemed 50 atfectionate, that could
not help loving her in spite of this defect,
which after all was a misfortune, and not a
fault
| Mary-that was. my wife's name-was
quite rich, and as | had control of everything,
soon settled myself in as nice habitation
as our town afforded. My wife was very
clever and amabIc-but very deaf! Anything
i'll the way Of private conversation was out
of the question. All the neighbors could
hear me when | spoke to her at all Sone-
times my friends called to see me, and then
such yelling and screaming We're kept up as
would shame a mad-house. | could neither
read Or write on account of the horrible clat-
ter kept up by my servants, in efforts to get
to Mary's ears. Passing strangers were con-
stantly stopping before my house, attracted
by the yelling and bowling within The
truth is, there's no denying it was a mis-
cradle man, in spite OF ali my wealth, had no
peace Of mind, and began to fear that the din
and noise would drive me crazy,
One morning my wife met me at the door
with letter. 1t was from her aunt, an old
lady, living some distance off who proposed
to pay lis a visit. She would arrive that
day, and I found-horror of horrors-that she
was as deaf as my wife.
| hadn't the heart to say anything to the
old lady on the way home. l was thinking
of what was to follow. When we drove up,
Mary was standing at the door, waiting to
welcome Aunt Betsy.
4 ain delighted to see you'll" yelled my
wife las the old lady assembled the steps
How do you do my dear? screamed the
aunt in return while the window rattIed, and
a pair Of passing horses unaccustomed to the
noise, was nearly frightened into a run.
When | entered the parior, there they sat
on each side Of the Fireplace and such a veil
ing You'd have though whole tribe Of Cher
olee Indians were present.
Aunt BIS visit was to last two weeks. Ev-
cry day the bowling continued They seem
ed to like the fun, and such q horrd din as
was kept up from morn till dewey eve" Il
reckon you never heard. Human mature
couldn't stand it-at least mine couldn't-and |
so l determined to vamose the rancho. II
endured il "a week, and then pretended that
business called me away.
1t was OF a dark and dismal evening that