Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1864-02-25
Rapidites among the Pointers.

large delegation of ladies and gentlemen
from Grand Rapids, made their anticipated
appearance III our city on last Thursday P. !
NJ, and after parading through the principal
streets of the Metropolis in real country
style" finally took possession Of the Avery
House.-Eis Ptnery.
Now, Swayze, put Up your roller and stop
the press. Appoint yourself committee of
one to get drunk and see that the committee
works manfully in the discharge of its oner-
o"a duty The metropolis" Ha. hal
Country style" That sounds just like Swayze
after taking '.pieee Of pie eae7y fifteen min
attes" to restore his lost health
Stevens Point is small collection Of hous-
es, about four miles north OF the Springyile
Touring milis-a sort of stopping, halfway
place between Plcver and Wausau Corn in
the shock and rye i'll the fluid state abound,
and are tie principal products of the sHe-I
Stevens Point is good place TO spend the
Summer months, when one desires to get away
from Tie pressing cares of business The
Grand KaEiUite think Of buying the town
next summer, merely for place Of resort,
provided they can get Swayze to remain as
SOFT Of natural curiosity. Now. Swayze, don't
allow Yourself 70 imagine that the Point is
tI.o aas..e2oLs Of the Pinerv or anv other To-
caii'y lon ought to visit our 4-atile- Creek,
1ill.-lrvek, and Saratoga, ana see how badly
yo~r JUGS men. is III error. Why, Swayze, we
c@n Leaf your town in any shape you have
Ii-la1 % take Us. We can do more biz on less
capital and less biz on more capital than you
can. We car drink more whiskev, get tight
quicker, remain tight longer, get sober quick
CT, iH.b:oc more freely and oftener and not be
! 'rh&sld' particle, and that beats vou.-
We've got prettier girls and more Of 'em :;
| they can wear bigger hoops and more calico
| d2uce Ion-cf aud eat less love more ardcntiv
and mHhe less fuss, get up earlier and go to-
bel later, ard on general principles beat YOU
blind. We can raise bigger babies and more
OF en-, get 'e1n up quicker and have 'em bet
ter looking, use less soothing syr,tp and more
soap, have 'em oftener and brag less, have
twins triFIets or quartcJtes-all BIZ turn of
tic tcrlSt, and no Boosting about it. We've
| Sot PiStliSi WOMEN anu lOine1ier women,
ger women and smaller women, better women
and uGlier women, more bitch pups. more
bird dorgs, more porkines and better fighting
cocks, more pussy-cats and more tom, cats,
faster horses, bigger river, quicker water,
bigger mills, more lumber, mon goods, more
money, better sense, more muscle, bigger
houses, less cte~ches, more saloons, and more
land 20 the acre than you have.
We can beat you at poker (''once in a
While"), beat ye at billiards or on foot-race,
skunk ye at euchre, checkmate We at chess,
and whip ye at checkers. In Short we can
match ye in any way, shape or style and YOU
call the Point the ''naet'opol;s" Bah! Sway
re, when viii We lose your conceit? Fall
back on your pie, Swayze. zone piece every
fifteen minutes" with watermelon for dessert
Either go to the Reform School or to the In,
sane Asylum at any rate, leave the metrop.
oils or ye die