Litchfield enquirer., 1864-06-02
WHOLE NO. 2O37
CoNsrERNAr1oN IN A RESPECTABLE FAMILY.

CoNsrERNAr1oN IN A .REsPECTABLE FAMILY. We regret to say that through the blunders of country cousin one of the tirst families ID Boston was recently thrown into state or consternation, and indignation, which 1t is i'm nossible to describe, For while serious consequences were apprehended, but after proper restoratives were applied, and explana- tions made, the family were enabled to take their meals with the accustomed regularity, and relish. The misunderstanding was caused ID singular manner, and can, in a. measure, pc attributed to the number of military heroes who infest the city.
 It seems that the cousin who caused the trouble is native of Vermont, and now on visit to an uncle in the city. One evening during the recent spell of cold weather, the only daughter of the house, a lady of seventeen whose delicacy is part of herr nature, and | whose mind was entirely above earthly things with the exception of the opera, new dresses and carriage, remarked one evening, in the presence of her family, without word of war ming, that she was fearful of freezing if she went to bed.
 Her mother was about to offer some expres- sion of consolation, when the cousin (rude IS he was) remarked in loud tone, 80 loud every one heard him-"Why don't you take a ma. jor to be with your" There was a faint shriek, and Rsnretta was observed to fall sensecss on the plush sofa. Her position was noted, however, for its grace and the careful manner in which her crinoline was adjusted.
 "Wretch l" cried the father, syou have mur- dered my daughter with your vulgarity."
 "Monster l" exclaimed the mother, Chow could you and such delicate nerves as she has too.''
 "I SNOW [" yelled the vermonter, with doleful look, " I didn't mean -"
 Silence, sir 1" cried the brother, who had attempted to obtain commission as briga- dIer general, and only failed because he once belonged to Homo Guard and knew, there fore, too much about military affairs.
 Darn it won't you -" No, sir, We will not,' cried the euraged parents. IA man that recommends my daugh- ter to slesp with a major is not fit for decent society,"
 "But didn't mean it." screamed the Yan- kee but no attention was paid to his words.
 "She revives-she revives-the shock has not killed her," the doating mother said, ben ding over her child, and kissing her.
 "Only think" said the fair one, "that cousin should recommend common major, when there are so many major generals without wives."
 l "lt was cruei Diow put you must pear up darling" whispered the mother. l "Darnation wont somebody listen to me cried the perplexed Vermonter; "I didn't mean that Hen. should sleep with real live major-one of them malicious officers. In course didn't. And don't want her to unless she is married and then she may for all care. wanted her to do as our gals do cold nights. They heat bricks, and put them to their feet and up in our parts the gals call them majors. That's what mean and what's 6 the use ot fuss about it that's what I want to know"
 "It seems that We are 1aboring under q mis- taks," said the head of the family "but real- ly, hereafter, where there are young ladies in the room I don't think I'd mention such things The young ladies of this city are too delicate for such vulgar names" The Vermonter promised to be more careful in fnture and the family are doing well.