American citizen. [volume] (Butler, Butler County, Pa.) 1863-1872, 1864-08-17
WIZ AND WISDOM.

HoT-the present dog days.
MoTTo for Hairdresser-Cu and
comb again.
Why are some men like corporations
Ans. Because they have no souls.
WHAT sort of birds make cool summer
pantaloons? Russia ducks.
The pleasure of doing goods the only
one that does not wear out
MAN was created :" little lower than
the angels" and he has been getting q a
little lower ever since"
THEY n. Y. Post discovers thet "B
natural is called the keynote to good
breeding
JoHN, go to the pump and bring me
a can of water-I am as dry as fish"
So is the pump, father"
Why is eating soup with a fork like
kissing your sweetheart? Ans. Because
it takes a long time to get enough of it.
How does man appear when he is
without charity? Ans. AS Astounding
brass and tinkling symbal. Paul.
A LETTER WRITER describes beauti-
full young lady as having face a painter
might dwell upon. That would be de-
lightful residence.
MANY persons, like mocking- bird or
blank wall say nothing Of themselves,
but give back impcrfectly the uttesances
Of others.
AN American abroad remarked at
table d'hote on the Continent, recently,
that Austria need never fear national
bankruptcy 50 long as she retained her
hold on Venice, for it was her floating
capital"
Tom THUMB retres on a quarter of
million. This is but fair Illustration of
the strange freaks of fortune, these topsy-
turvy times. 1t seems much easier to
make fortune by liHieness than by great
ness.
IT is common trick of one of the
principal American conjurors to make his
wife suddenly disappear from the eyes of
the spectators. If he could teach to 9th
er husbands this trick of making wives
vanish he would have fair opening for
fortune.
My father was one of the trainers of
the new constitution" )" said a youth of pa
trieian blood, the other day, to another of
more than plebian origin
Who cares for that" quoth the lat
ter, my father was one Of the trainers
of the new meeting house ~"
As school-master was employed in
Scotland in teaching sharp urchin to
cyphcr on the slate, the precocious pupil
put the following question to his instruc-
tor -
"Whaur diz a the figures gang till
when there rubbit oot j"
THE man who doth no paper take.
Grudgng two dollars year,
Will never good husband make
Because his wife can never know what
is going on in the world and his children
will very ignorant appear.
The last line is rather long for good
| jingle, but the moral is sublime
WHEN Archbishop Laud was on trial
he was told that if he had not committed
one great act of treason he had perpetra-
ted SO many small crimes, taken together,
made him traitor.
@ | never knew" said the Archbishop,
% that one hundred black rabbits made up
black horse"
HEAR THIS, YE LOVERS "A young
lady who has been married six months says
1t is all nonsense to talk of love in a cot
tage. The little rascal always runs away
when there is no bread on the table
There is more love in sirloin of beef
than in all the roses and posies and wood
bines that ever grew.
OyE of the fair daughters of North
ampton was recently singing tashiona-
Bile air at high pitch of voice, when an
Irishman, who was passing by, rushed in
with look of astonishment, and exclaim-
ed,-
Sure, I thought some one was being
murthered."
A WINDY orator once got up and said
"Sir, after much reflection, consideration,
and examination, have calmly, deliber-
ately, and carefully come to the determin
ed conclusion that in those cities where
the population is very large there are
greater number of men, women and chill
dren, than in cities where the population
is less,