The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1864-05-05

| very SMALLEST GpraSpalI
/ What disIiked most in the old gentleman
was his chuckling over these presents, and
turning into ridcule their unfortunate don
ors but besides his behavior in this respect,
! Uncle Trotter was quite unbearable. In the
! first place, his habits were so bad that rath-
er than him live with us, | would have pre-
! ferrcd that Cousin Dicks terrier should have
occupied orr Spare Room for permanency,
| and even brought up there that family OF
puppies for whose arrival | was in agonized
expectation throughout her stay. Then the
| trouble he gave us was incredible; the Spare
! Room bell was always ringing, and meals
being eaten there at all hours except those
at which the rest of the household were accus-
toned to take them. He smoked unceasing
! ly, TOO, and threatened, upon one occasion,
to light his pipe with the hy-catcher be-
cause lucifers were brought to him for that
purpose in place Of wax-lights An angel
in the House, as life -boarder, would, | be-
believe, be unpleasant to any married
woman like myself; spinsters may and do
olerate volunteer companions under the
same roof, but with us it is ditferent-home
is not home unless, for some portion Of the
year at least, we enjoy it Darby and-Joan
fashion, with our husbands. Moreover as
| haev limited, Uncle Trotter was not an an
gel, but rather the reverse. He left us sum
marily, after domestic fracus, the news of
which delighted all the family-both those
who had lodged and boarded him and those
who hoped to lodge and board him lie re-
moved from our roofto that of the Limpets,
who had long peen looking out for the hap
py chance. They were even so fortunate as
to the last whom Uncle Trotter visited, and
they received his last sigh. He had nothing
else to give them, as it turned out; for he
had sunk the whole ofhis property in life
annuity.
Our Spare Room was now once more in
our hands, and began to invite our dear
friends from the country like an Inn Sign
board at election-time. Then Mivins and |
determined upon line of defence that should
be impregnable: we came to the conclusion
to let Lodgings to Single Gentlemen. This
was inconvenient-bu SO, probably, is the
! shell of the tortoise; it was undigniied-
but so is digging rifle pit in the presence
of an enemy; it had, however, the advan-
tage of insuring safety. 1t was conclu-
sive reply to all persons inviting themselves
to No. | Vandeleur Terrace, that 'clrcum-
stances over which we had no control (and
[ never wrote truer sentence) chad conf
! PEELED us to let our Spare Room Then |
took counsel with my old friend, Mrs Brown
! of the Edgeware Road-Lucy Gill as was
when | was Martha Trivet-who, being i'll
reduced circumstances, had commenced the
FURNISHED Apartment" business two or
three years ago, and after several mlsadven-
lures pertaining, suppose, to all commence
| TO vol
| Success was not so much oar object as Sc
curity we wanted lodger, not as a means
of livelihood, but simply as garrison. There
was therefore very little doubt that we
should be easily suited.
i ''Rut don't take very young gentlemen,
said Mrs Brown, 'for such who are often
found in hiding from their relatives, some
times refuse to settle their bills upon their
restoration to the domestic circle; and don't
take very old gentlemen, for they some
times decease in the house, and there is
a difficulty in getting the parish to bury
them"
This advice seemed rather hard in Lucy
(whom remember all heart or nearly so;)
i but it was sound, so far as it Went and found
ed upon practical experience.
i So we took the first middle aged gentle
Mr.. Adolphus Conroy-who rang the
front door bell with an eye to our Spare
Room. The apartment pleased him, the
terms pleased him, my offer to cater for HIM
pleased him, and, in short he expressed
himself in very appropriate terms-as
| satisfied with everything. After Uncle lrot-
ter. almost any inmate would have made a
reasonable impression; but Mr. Conroy was
really pattern lodger. lie was little
high" in his manner to me; but then how
could he know that was not dependent up
on his custom, like other landladies? Doubt
less. thought /, he regards me as a harry,
who will burn his Goals and drink his tea,
and lay the decrease of his butchers meat
to the account of the cat--so ! was patient
with his supercilious ways. lie was really
very nice-lool1ing; but he had, | must say,
an aristocratic air about him very different
from Mivins-who, however, IS worth all
the aristocrats in the world; his luggage
was of great bulk, and very heavy; alto
I gether, he was sort of lodger one couldn't
help looking up to. His Jmode OF life was
all that could be desired. At about II A. NJ
he left the house, attired in his first style Of
fashion, and returned at seven to his din
: ner; after which he would smoke couple
of pipes, and then retire for the night. He
never made complaint of any kind, nor
any observation upon the weekly bills, save
one-that they were ridiculously cheap
ideally, Mrs Mivins, observed he, at the
end of the second week, 81 cannot think how
you manages; / couldn't keep myself OF
twice the money You must really give me
your recipe for such economy" But he new
er asked me for my receipt for his account,
because he never paid it. That was the
one drawback with respect to my otherwise
model ledger; he never offered to pay one
sixpence either for board or lodging. Be
ing of sensitive disposition, and unaccus-
toned to my new calling did not like to
press for settlement; but after the third
+, week had passed without my receiving any
remuneration for a good deal of trouble and
considerable expense-for gin-punch with
, lemon was what he took of an evening, and
lemons are dear-I thought I'd go and see
nv professional adviser, Mrs. Brown.
''What :" says she, when | had confided
to her my little difficulty, ''you havn't seen
f the color of this fellows money for three
, weeks p
Fancy her speaking of Mr.. Adophus Con
roy as ''fellow!' but hard life makes
one use hard words, l suppose, poor Lucy
''No,' returned L, Il have not. But
then, he saws that little sums are 50 embar
RAISING, and that he would rather settle al
the months end.'
''Did he say that!" cried Mrs: Brown, il
state of great excitement. 20, the wretch
O, the base deceiver! Does he speak with
lisp, this Mr.. Conroy? Does he call little
, sums little thumbs ? Pray, tell me, for
am all in a twitter."
"Well," said l, ''Im sure can't tell how
: you guessed it, Lucy, but certainly he has
: that popularity. Many persons Of good con
ditions have it, you know"
! 'I'll condition him p cried Lucy. I'll lei
f him know that he shan't rob my helpless
e babes with iJnpunity! That very man-rn
r sure it is he-lodged with me just when
: set up business in the letting line. His name
! was Somers then; but he had that same ex
: auca o Io4+ ca+fIinor aft fine months end s.Ta