, 1864-08-26
NUMBER 81.
A Proclamation from Presidential Joker.
INSTRUCTIONS TO PROVOST mAnsHA1s.

A Proclamation from Presidential Joker.
! INSTRUCTIONS TO PROVOST MARsHAIs aa
/. AS your Office is one that is unknown to
! the Constitution of the United States, and to
the Constitution of the State, you must endeav-
or to impress the people as much as possible
with the diepity and Importance of your official
! position, by eyincing as much contempt as YOU
can for the foolish old fashioned laws of the
States, which are now entirely obsolete, being
untitled for the exigences of the times
! 2. You arelto speak continually, and in all
places, of the "odious," Infamous" ''execra-
BILE, " "infernal, F" and "damnabl aaDtrnes of
State Rights.
g. Never, under any crcum 6Aees, allude
to the Constitution; and if VOW 4ht8r the word
on any mans lips, arrest him anediately.
4. 1t is disloyal practice for any man to
allnde to the exploded mode of trial by Jury.
Arrest all such. - 90
o. Accuse all Democrats of every crime un-
der. heaven, and if the scoundrel presume to
argue with you, arrest him
g. All who talk about liberty of speech and
press are traitorsZarrest all such. ....-.-
T. All who prate about the habeas corpus
are enemies of the overnment-arrest them.
g. Studiously avoid the word of freedom,
except as applied to negroes; Arrest all who
are guilty of such disloyal practices
D. USE whenever you can, the ear-ticklinp
words, "loyal, and Supporting the Govern
ment, but in such way as to mean the sub
version of the miserable old Government and
| the support of the new system If YOU hear
any man use the words in any other connection,
arrest him.
TO-. Itis opposing the Government for any.
man to speak Of restoring the Union as it was.
Arrest such. F arG
II. It is a disloyal practice for any man to
speak OF the size of my feet or otherwise to al
/ II tn mn ~, r
oefuty, and ofmy emancipation policy. Arrest
them. .. ... -.
~ you hear any man say that l know
better how to tell stories than to conduct tho
affairs Of the nation, he is disloyal
l3. lf.you hear any man allude with respect
to the ridiculous article in the old constitutional
which protects citizens from unreasonable scar
ches and seizures, arrest him instantly. If vou
find no letters and documents about him, it will
be proof that he has taken the precaution 10.
destroy then and will be sufficient evidence of
his guilt. Lock him up.
a. 1t is opposing the Government for any
man to say that the Abolitionists ought to en-
such traitors
To- Arrest anybody you please, and if any
man complains arrest him. for he is disloyai,
and an enemy to the Government ia
l6. If anybody should blow your brains out
while attempting an "illegal arrest" tell the
devil that you died serving me. He will reward
you accordingly, la 6e-rs. bsirt. e. t
ID n. ~ . - 4J.u,,a
OBsTINAoY An obstinate man does not mold
opinions, but they hold him; for when he is
once possessed of an error it is like a devil
only cast out with great difficulty What he
lays hold on, like a drowning man, he never
loses. His ignorance is abrupt and inaccessi-
pie, lmpregnable both by art and nature and
will hold out to the last, though it has nothing
n ic ovl-
and sticks fast to anything it lays hold on His
skull is so thick that it is proof against anv rea
son, and never cracks but on the wrong side
just opposite to that against which the impres
sion is made, which surgeons say does not ham
pen very frequently The slighter and more in
consistent his opinions are, the faster he holds
them, otherwise they would fall asunder them
selyes-for opinions that are false enough to be
held with more strictness and assurance than
those that are true, otherwise they will be ant
to betray their owners before they are aware
lie delights most of all to differ in things .ndif-
ierent no matter how frivolous they are, they.
are Welghty enough in proportion to his weak
Judgment; and he will rather suffer selEmartvr-
dom than part with the least scruple of his free
holdi Tor 1t is impossible to dye his dark ipno-
rance into any lighter color. He is resolved to
understand no mans reason, because he finds
no man can understand his but himself His
wits are like sack, which a French proverb
70 tAOu ldobCL DeIOIe IL is Iull than when it
is; and his opinions are like plants that grow
upon rock, that stick fast though they have no
roofing. His understanding S burdened like
Pharaoh's heart, and is proof against all sorts
Of judgments whatsoever.
The New ENROLMENT LAw.-The bare possf-
bility that we may have a "draft' upon this
coast, mparts additional interest to everything
relating to the enrolment law. The S. f. Bull
letn furnishes a synopsis of the bill The Act
authorizes the President, at his discretion to
call for any number of volunteers for the term
OF one two, or three years, and if they fail to
come in so days. to draft for double the num-
Der asked for. Volunteers are entitled to $lOO,
S2OO or $500 bounty, according as they serve
for one, two or three years. The drafted man
draws no bounty, nor can he any longer COM
mute in money for the services required of him;
but he may provide substitute, if he can find
one who is not himself subject to that or an
other draft. His substitute must not be between
the ages of l8 and A. because all such are liza
BILE to the draft-he must of necessity be an
alien, or a citizen past 45 years of age.
BENEFITS OF ABUsE.-A great man is always
willing to be little. While he sets on the cush-
ion OF advantages, he goes to sleep. When he
is pushed, tormented defeated, be has chance
to learn something; he has been put on his wits,
on his manhood; he has gained facts, learns
his ignorance; is cured of the insanity Of con-
celt; has got moderation and real skill The
wise man always throws himself on the side of
his assailants 1t is more to his interest than il
is to theirs to find his weak points. The wound
cicatrizes and falls off from him like dead
skin, and when they would triumph, To- he has
passed on invulnerable. AS long as ali that is
said is against me, feel a certain assurance of
success But as soon as honeyed words of
praise are spoken for me, l feel as one that lies
unprotected before his enemies Emerson.
THINK OF THE CoNsEoUENoEs.-A clergyman
in Pennsylvania, of exalted reputation for piety
and learning, writes thus: ~ dare not think of
the consequences which might result from the
North subjugating the South. Are we sure it
would not also be the subjugation of ourselves?
Is it certain that we could throw off the yoke of
the triumphant despotism from our own neeks2
Are we not, indeed, even now more nearly con-
quered than the South l shudder when ask
myself where is the liberty guaranteed by our
Constitution pray night and day that God
will save my country from the bloody anti
Christ of Abolition -.....
Bierstadt is engaged on a large picture Of
Mount Hood in OREGON which. he intends to fin