St. Mary's gazette., 1864-05-19
The Wrongs of the Stomach.


found dialogue between the body and
the soul, in which each accused the other
Of their mutual perditions, recap;tulating
the offences which have produced it.
Something similar might be written,
with good effect, dividing the imaginary
conversation between, let us say, the sto-
mach and the man, and making an attack
Of the gout the subject of their recrimina-
tim. The man might accuse the stomach
of having done its duty so badly that he is
with burning fire in his ex-
tremities, which will neither let him eat.
drink, walk. nor rest. The stomach might
plead justification. and say that she had
lighted the said fire as the only means of
getting a momcut's rest from an intolcrable
taskmaster.
again; the man might complain that he
had lost all enjoyment of life. that his spi-
rits were depressed, his mind gloomy, his
appetite gene, his once fine muscular sys-
TEN reduced to fabby Incidence; that his
food did him more harm than good, SO
that it had become a misery to eat, and
that every meal was followed by leaden
oppression which rendered life an insup-
portable burden. The stomach, having
listened to all this, delivered in tone Of
angry accusation, would reply: my
case is just as bad as your own. Before
l had well digested your breakfast, you
gave me a meat luncheon to see to, and
before l had got that out of the way, you
thrust dinner upon me large enough for
three stomachs. Not satisfied with that,
you wound up the day with supper.
drcnching me all the time with ale, wine
and more spirits, till l thought you had ta-
ken leave of your senses; and when I heard
you groaning in your sleep, starting up
now and then as if appoplexy had bro
ken into the house, and was going to carry
you off. I said to myself: "Serve him right
if it did" And in this way you went on
year after year, treating all my remon-
strances with contempt. / gave you head
ache after headache; tried to recall you
to reason with half dozen attacks of ia-
fuenza; gave you bilious fever; made you
smart with rheumatism; twinged you with
gout till you roared. But all to no pur-
pose. You went on making me digest till
the work broke my back, and now can
digest no longer"
This reproach might even be made pa
the,ic. by desert ption of the stomach
watching its hard task come down to it
from the regions about between dinner
and bedtime First comes plate of soup
and bread. and glass of sherry. IL can
manage that" says the stomach. Then q
plate Of tish. with more bread and more
sherry; 'and that" adds the stomach.
though these sauces don't quite agree
agree with me" Then comes beef, or
mutton. or both. and stout; then anne and
sherry; then dish Of tart. ''ConfouBd
this pastry" says the stomach, sit gives
me more trouble than any thing else; tut
# the master will only stop here. think.
II put out all my powers, | can get even
this rubbish out Of the way"
But she has hardly taken this hopeful
view of the case. when down come cheese,
celery. apples, claret, and tumbler Of hot
Observation-Disclosures. GOOD gracious.
was there ever suoh a mess p exclaius
the stomach; 'what can the man mean I?
Does he think that one pair of bands can
manage all this? Still: the willing slave
goes TO work. when presently there is a
rush OF botstea from above, with thin slice
OF bread-and-turter. And when the stom-
ach. with infnite labor, has got the hodge
podge into some sort ofhomogencous Of shape
aud is preparing to take uap afier its ex-
haustion. 10: deviled drun-stick rushcs
into its labratcry. two deviled kidneys. q
bottle Of stout, aud three tun,bIers of ho;
brandy and 'watcr.-Lcn.la Rette1.