Weekly Trinity journal., 1864-05-28
Tn. Gospel According to St. v.n.ndisn.,m...

The Gospel According to st. vallandig ham.
/ Paul the appossal, on his way from Gefoosa-
lem Demaskus, to persekoot the Crischens, seed
a dazzlin lite which struck him blind The old
Dimocrisy on the ID Nv October, OF its way to
glory, to persekoot the niger, seed lite which
Knocked it crazy. Wen yuve sucked a orange
dry, natrely yu fling away the peel, and if the
froot proved sour and bitter instid Nv sweet, w
fling it good dele futher, bein disgustid VAL
landggum wuz our orange-we suck it wigger-
ously but alas | fling away the wuthless peel.
Myself and flock is now all war Dimocrits.-
We have alluz bin. We never agreed with the
extremists NV our party, and we renamed in the
organization only becoz, members thereof, we
Good restrane it from doin mschif We wer
zelus in the support of Vallandiggum, and workt
hard to elect him. only that, bein his supporters,
and havn elected him, we Good curb him.
Therefore, all our apparent opposition to the
war wuz RELY its most effishent support. hope
the people will see it. .r.t ,f..E
At biznis meetin our church yesterday af-
ternoon, the follerin resolutions wuz past:
WAREAs, Dimocrisy furnishes best wen it is
successful and
WAREAs, it is a tender flower, that don't bare
the chillin frosts of adversely much and
WAREAs the people hev shode by the pekool-
yer style NV ther votin that they don't like Val
landiggum ner. his principles; and
WAREAs, the people is Nv moar yuse to US
than Vallandiggum therefore be it
Resolred, That Vallandiggum never wuz re-
preventative NV the Dimocratic ijea.
Resolued, That do not endors his views
or approve his acts, and nevur did.
Resolced, That onist old A. Linkin, by arrest
in Nv him, and thereby forcin Nv us into com
mittin NV him, and thereby forcin Nv us into
committn politkle sooicide by nominatn uN
! him WIZ ouilty NY q heenuS sin.
I RESOLVED, That we amt az much consarned
about our habis corpuSseS az we wuz afore the
elecshun.
Resoloed, That the war for the Union mus &c
on, until its enemies is subjugatid and the ban
ner of buty and glory waves over evry stalt, anc
the Dimocratc Commits the varius stats b(
requested to procoor sufishent number NV ban
ners, and APPOINT sub-committis to wave EN-.
Resolred, That air in favor subjuga
shen, emansipashun, confscashun, taxashun
conscripshun, -extcrminashun, Niger enlist
ments and if Their is anythin else the people
desire, let EN- write us (post-pade) and weel pas:
the necessary resoiu hun +. as s.
Printers AND PARADoxEs "A Printer say:
Oliver, is the most curious being living. He
may have a bunk and quoias, and not be worth 8
cent !; have small caps and have neither wife mol
children. Others may run fast, but he gets along
swifter by setting tast. He may be making M
Pressions without eloquences may be using the
iye without offending, and be telling the truth
while others cannot stand while they set, he car
set standing, and do both at the same time ; have
to use furniture and yet have no dwelling; may
make and put away pa and never see a pie, much
less eat it during his whole life be a human
being and rat at the same time may press
great deal and not ask favor; may handle 9
shooting iron, and know nothing about cannon
gun pistol he may move the Jeper that moves
the world, and yet be far from moving the
globe as hog under a molehill spread sheet'
without being a housewife he may lag his form
on bed, and yet be obliged to sleep the floor
he may use the dagger without shedding blood
and from the earth he may handle stars; he may
be of rolling disposition, and yet never desire
to travel he may have = sheep s.foof, and not be
deformed never be without a case, and yet know
nothing of law or physic be always correcting
his errors, and growing worse every day ; have
embraces without ever having the arms of lass
thrown around him have his form locked up
and at the same time free from Jail, watch-house
or any other confinement his Office may have a
he'll in it, and not be a bad place after all he
may be plagued by the deuH, and be Christian
of the best kind and what is stranger still, be
honest or dishonest, rich or poor, drunk oil
sober, industrious or lazy, he always stands "
to his business.