Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1864-01-28

friend, MIS-. Brown, OF the EdgeTare Road
Lucy Gill as was when ! was Martha TTivet-
who, being in reduced circumstances, had
commenced the FURNISHED Apartment
business two or three years ago, and after
several misadTentures, pertaining, l suppose,
to all commencements, was succeeding IN IT TO
marvel. Success was not so much oar OBJ
iect as security; we wanted ledger, not as
means of livelihood, but simply as a garri-
son. There was therefore very little doubt
that we should be easily suited
But don't take very young gentlemen"
said Mrs. Brown, for such are often in hid
ing from their relatives, and their relatives,
sometimes refuse to settle their bills upon
their restoration to the domestic circle; and
don't take very old gentlemen, for they some
times decease in the house, and there is
difficulty in getting the parish to bury them"
This advice seemed rather hard in Lucy
(whomI remember all heart, or nearly so);
but it was sound, so far as it went, and found
ed upon practical experience.
So we took the first middle aged gentleman
Mr.. Adolphus Conroy-who rang the front
door bell with an eye to our Spare Room. The
apartment pleased him, the terms pleased
him, my offer to cater for him pleased him;
and, in short, he expressed himseH-and in
very appropriate terms-as satisfied with
everything. After Uncle Trotter, almost any
inmate would have made a reasonable i'm
preston; but Mr.. Conroy was really pattern
Iodger. He was little "high' in his manner
to me; but then how could he know that l
was not dependent upon his custom, like
other landladies? Doubtless, thought l, he
regards me as harpy who will burn his Goals
and drink his tea, and lay the decrease of his
butchers meat to the account of the cat-ao
| was patient with his superclious ways.
He was really very nice-looking: he had, |
must say, an aristocratic air about him very
different from Mivins-who however, is
worth all the aristocrats in the world his
luggage was Of great bulk, and very heavy;
altogether, he was a sort of ledger one
couldn't help looking up to. His mode of
life was all that could be desired. At about
eleven a. NJ. he left the house, attired in the
first style of fashion, and returned at seven
to his dinner; after which he would smoke
couple of pipes, and then retire for the night
He never made a complaint of any sort, nor
any observation upon the weekly bills, save
one-that they were ridicaAOasSly Cheap.
Really, Mrs. Mivins," observed he, at the
end Of the second week, 81 cannot think
how you manage; | couldn't keep myself up
on twice the money. You must really give
me your receipt for such economy" But he
never asked me formy receipt for his account,
because he never paid it. That was the one
drawback with respect to my otherwise model
ledger; he never offered to pay one sixpence
either for board or lodging. Being of a sensi-
tive disposition, and unaccustomed to nv
new calling, [ did not like to press for set
tlement but after the third week had passed
without my receiving any remuneration for
a good deal Of trouble and some considerable
expenses-tor gin-punch with lemon was
what he took Of an evening, and lemons are
dear-I thought I'd go and see my profes-
sional adviser, Mrs. Brown.
"What !" says she, when | had confidcd to
her my little difficulty, "you haven't seen
the color of this fellows money for three
weeks?"
Fancy her speaking of Mr. Adolphus Con
roy as "a fellow !" but hard life makes one
use hard words, l suppose, poor Lucy!
No." returned l 81 have not. But then
he says that little sums are so embarrassing,
and that he would rather settle at the months
end"
"Did he say that 2" cried Mrs Brown, in a
state of great excitement. go, the wretch
0, the base deceiver! Does he speak with
lisp, this Mr.. Conroy? Does he call little sums
little thumbs? Pray, tell me, for Pm all in
twitter."
"Well," said l, "pm sure l can't tell how
you guessed it, Lucy; but certainly he has
that popularity. Many persons Of good con-
dition have it, you know"
"Pll condition him ~ cried Lucy. "Tll let
him know that he shant rob my helpless
babes with impunity That very AMIN
sure it's he-lodged with me Just when | set
up business in the letting line. His name was
Somers then; but he had that same excuse
about settling at the months end. Jemima
Anne, 90 and fetch policeman"
The child thus addressed was about to start
off delighted on this errand, but | Set my back
against the door.
"Lucy Brown" exclaimed l, 'this shall not
be. You may be all wrong from first to last.
Now, the way to find out for certain will be
this: do you and Mr.. Brown come and take
tea with US this very evening, and then you
shall look through the keyhole of our Spare
Room, and see whether our ledger isthe same
as your Mr.. Somers."
(Which if he is, I'll haste him." observed
Lucy, taking up a hearth-brush, and looking
more formidable than | should ever have
given her credit for
| had never believed any of those stories
about Mrs. Browns complete subugation of
her husband until then. He was once SER
geant-major in the army, and stands six feet
three in his stocking-feet; still the power of
woman's eye is, believe, almost inconceiv-
able-although it was never necessary for me
to use it with Mivins.
Well, they came-these two-to Vande-
leur Terrace and before we sat down to tea
what do you think Fl observed that there
was something odd about Mrs Browns dress,
although crinoline does hide most things
l,oI hat
through her pocket! The law wouldn't right
her, she said SO she was determined to right
herself with the strong hand, in case my
ledger was the man anticipated. The ser
geant-maj or was to stand in the passage, and
see that he made no resistance. Thought
this most dreadful proposition, and insisted
upon no snch thing taking place in my house;
bnt Miyins, am sorry to say, opposed me
point-blank. He even suggested that l. who
had been wronged also by this gentleman,
should assist Mrs. Brown, while he himself
assisted the sergeant-maj or IN overawing the
foe. | wonder what Aunt Bertha would have
said had she heard him make such proposal
How earnestly hoped that my ledger would
not come in that eyening-would never come
back at all or, better still that he wonld
turn out TO be the Mr. Adolphus Conroy
which his manners and appearance had al
ways led me to expect-the personal descrip-
ton which Mrs. Brown had given Of Mr..
Somers, tallying so accurately with his own,
however, that this last hope was very faint
indeed.
At 6:45, as usual, the unsuspccting man
came home, and we could scarcely prevent
the avenging female on the first floor from
descending upon him forthwith, when she
recognised his voice and step. The sergeant
major, however, represented to her how much