Litchfield enquirer., 1864-07-14
WHOLE NO. 2OAa
Why I hate Women.

I kuOW lHdI pTeSeutly OuSt IndSue yVohsoss an experienced man of the world, aged twenty and-well don't think the ladies consider ins very bad looking.
 dato my woman. hating proclivities from the time Miss Emma Talbot was placed pndes my care, during trip down the Hudson.
 She had been staying with her aunt at Weee Point for several months.
 Her brother Harry was in the Military Aca- demy, and was one of the gayest and most reck. less fellows in the place. It was through him that became acquainted with his sister.
 She was lovely blonde, and knew how to show her beauty to the best advantage.
 Of course, fell in love with her directly, and was led to believe that she did not dislike me, until she told me of her intention to return to New York, and that her three cotishs were coming up to take her back with them. never saw three such mischief loving girls. The youngest especially distinguished herself, the day after her arrival, by getting her time: honored aunt on the top of rock, which could only be reached by ladder. While her aunt was enjoying the view, Kitty accidentally knocked the ladder down, and walked off % unconcernedly as if nothing was the matter. It was not until an hour after, while was pous. ing flood of eloquence in her listening ear, that she started up, lHterrupting one Of my bess metaphors, and exclumed-
 "l wonder if aunt Talbot has got home yeti"
 And she started off on run to release the poor womun from her captivity. had determined to make a formal declara. ton of love on the home trip-not to the imp of mischief, Kitty but to Emma Talbot for thought I, Miss Emma is so desperately in love with me that must really marry the poof thing. or she will go raving crasy' Such things have happened" 1 So after nnumerabls boxes and trunks wefe safely on board, my beloved Emma promised to go on deck with me.
 will hete mention that Harry Talbot (who was escorthg his three cousins) and my pcer~ less Emma we're twins, and, as natural con. sequence, looked very much alike, the more so as Emma wore her hair in short curls, after ths fashion of the present day.
 Before coming on deck she had some altef- atons to make in her toilet, 50 went up to see if there was any place where l could ghin her promise to love and obey me, &c.
 To my surprise the deck was clear so want back and found her waiting for me but was surprised to find her wrapt up with thick veil over her face.
 Kitty was standing near her with such look of roguery in her eyes that knew there was mischief somewhere, and l offered mental prayer for the unhappy victim of her practical |jokes. requested Emma to take of that unbeeori. ing veil, but before she, could answer, Kitty said she had sudden attack of neuralgia, and must keep it on for fear of getting more cold. made no more ado, but took her to the decki, As we passed through the saloon imag1ne heard the sound of smothereds sIRRRs1 aft must be the creaking of some of the machinery of the steamer.
 I led her to seat, where we had fine view of the river, and seated myself beside her in my most graceful attitude q had practised it before starting until had learned 1t perfectly
 She seemed to know what was coming, for she was very quiet. had heard great deal about the disagree able task of popping the question:, and. with my usual forethought had prepared my speech beforehand. Now thought l, is the time Sc commenced.
 Emma these waters remind me of lift-- sometimes it plides smoothly, and sometimea it is disturbed by storms. Emma
 And here stopped, having forgotten the next clause felt il my breast-pocket for my speech. It wasn't there for in any of my oth' CT pockets. 1 Now what was l to Q0. Suddenly reIuouss bered having ad in some novel that deeds were better than words; so got up close to her, put my arrns around her waist. She did not resist, but was seized with an uncontroila' ble fit of coughing. .,
 It stopped presently and taking her neatly eloyed hand in mine commenced at the next part of my speech that l remembered--
 Emma, don't you think that person is bappier married than sing e? Suppose for m. stance, wanted to get married" l Here she gaHe a deep sob. .. l sShe thinks, poor child r said l to mYselfs that am going to marry some one else
 However, I took it as good sign and drew nearer to her.
 'Emma, dearest angel, you love mo, and l am happy.
 ] sLoyeliest of lovely women. you do not deny it. I swear, bv the stars and moon, and the sun that looks so lovingly on us, that love YOU. and You only Will you be my mate r. For I am poor lost dove waiting for a kind. red spirit to cherish until death
 This is part of the speech which came into my miud just at the right moment: 1 At this interesting point she became very much Infected, for she put her handkerchief under ler veil, and sobbed aloud. When she |
 Emma, my own beautiful dove, you prom. ise to love me always ?' | heard faint Yes from under the odious veil, vet it was distinct enough for me to hear' Then I took her hand. She did not resist
 Dear, devoted one, said l, in an irreslstioly sweet voice, twill not you not give me one token of your love? Will you not gran. ".a. ms one kiss from those lips that vie with the cner' " in sws ,tns s, aud beauty? l., r..
 .Yes, love- was all l could hear' put 'n"' was enough. f.ho had ls,, it down during the whole analrl ana ..s, slssso- Harry Talbot. There was no mls'ake-OI' .athoy, t was all mistake; for there nc sat, ianabing % as though he would go into the hyst 'eri.. r rn.bed towards the door, and there l met ..:,h such n reception as never was honored VII. VIII before, The whole steamboats crew 'Sare w.'a there who had kept from going outside wh;le was making that declaration of love to
 tried to run the blockade, but was received with shouts of laughter on all sides.
 Kitty and Emma came up and offered thelr' congratulations ,,.
 Harry afterwards told me that Kitty had the next room to mine at the hotel and as the nartitions were thin, she heard me tellina my rL. .r Icyo sorrot and heard him advise me