Delaware gazette. [volume] (Delaware, Ohio) 1855-1886, 1864-04-29
DELAWARE, OHIO, APRIL 80, 1864.

''What in Heavens name is the matter p
screamed Judge Flanders.
"Ahem only slight cold, thank you, sir, -
stammered Mr. Singleton.
"a cowld is he Z? Faith now, an your hon
or's nose must be afther turning itself inside
hin ~ exclaimed Mr.. O'TooIe, the Irish ora
tor.
Lucy Deane was laughing Miss Flambeaux
was horri6ed Mrs Grubbins looked shocked ;
our friend Singleton was nearly suffocating
with shame. He leaned back in his chair to
recover his breath and as soon as be could speak
he begged to be excused a moment as be did
not feel quite well. And forthwith he arose
and made for the door; but-horror of bor-
rors!-he had set on the pocket containing the
napkin of tomato, and his white pantaloons were
dripping with the sanguinary vegetablel
A simultaneous shrek burst from all as
sembled, Good Heavens, Mr. Singleton is
wounded /! Murder murder! Call physician !
Seize the murderer Send for DIR. Splitpowder !
Quick-he'l bleed to death Murder murder !!
The infurated audience rushed hither and
thither, and some encountered John, the wal
ter, with a carving knife in his hand, took him
for the perpetrator ofthe crime, and seized up.
on him without delay. John struggled and
swore, and laid about him with right good
will, but he was overpowered by numbers and
obliged to yield. There was regular fight,
and black eyes and swelled noses added large
ly to the beauty Of the scene. The ladies fed
to the ante room, Judge Flanders ran for
surgeon, and during the melee Singleton made
his escape. No grass grew beneath his feet as
he sped for home; but the night being dark
and be being slightly frustrated, he unfortuna-
tely mistook the house, and entered, not his
OWE residence, but that of a correct old spin
ster named Harriet Willis. The houses were
somewhat similar, and Singleton without paus-
ing for light, rushed up stairs into Lis own
chamber, as he thought, where breathless and
exhausted he flung himself upon the bed.
Miss Harriet had retired sometime previ-
GUS, and the sudden advent OF Mr.. Singleton
aroused her from sound slumber. SpringiDg
from the bed regardless Of the fact that her
teeth were out and her "natural eurls" repos-
ing in the bureau.dr2wer, she few to the house
Of her nearest neighbor, and securing assistance
returned to meet the horrifed Singleton just
emerging from the door.
Poor Harry tried TO explain, but Miss Will
is would listen to nothing her reputation was
ruined she said, aud Singleton must either set
tie or marry heri A fifty dollar bill was Civ
en- freely; meuding her broken character and
learning Singleton never to go to bed in the
dark
The affair at the Whitestown hotel was
rather serious one. The orator O'Toole had
his nose broken. DR.. Spillpowder broke bis
horses wind to get there before he should bleed
to death John, the waiter, broke the heads o
half dozen gentlemen who assisted in hi
capture; and Judge Flanders broke all the but
tons off his Wristbands running after the sur
geon and shouting murder.
Mr.. Singleton is yet unmarried-as fine I
fellow as you could wish and if you want t,
see blushing, just mention tomato sauce II
him. Literary Companion.