St. Cloud Democrat. [volume] (Saint Cloud, Stearns County, Minn.) 1858-1866, 1864-03-24
= |lLEJ5R I'll
" EXPERIMENT THAT nvDN,n
! @';3i3 Z: 10 WORK. -. -. -.

TeHuSion OF that distinguished disciple of
Vallandigham,i Petroleum V. Nasty, ESQ.,:
CHuncl Nv THE SLAwrEREu IANocENrs. !
>T LAlr ST.. VALLANpiGMAM. I,
r.: Mankind II the most Ierversc and onrc-
zonablc bcins ov the human family Vile
thay assent 2 a principle, thay never will
pd. it into pracktis eff it bares hard onto
en- as indivijiles, tu wit =, {. y ,.... .,. Z.
,r | he'd bin for sescril weeks deliverin
coarse Nv lecktcrs on the divinnity 'uv 'slai-
vry. l argood 'tha!t Tie iustitooshcn wuz
based upon the infscriety Nv wun man
anothcr-lhlt it wuz not only wise bu,
q bootiful pervision Nv nachcr, that the
strong shood hey charge NV the week,
guiden, and pertektin and wurkin Nv en-. =,
This ijee plexcd my congregashun vastly,
and fifteen or twenty NV the strongest, per-
posed that l shood put it into pracktis, jest
2 show the world that the, crate doctrine
GOOD be carrid out jest cz we'll in the North
ez in the South. 10 which i asscnted, to
wunst, and at the next biznls meeting, the
follerin plan wuz adopted. The members
Nv the congregashun shood tri their
strength, and them cz Good lift GOO shood
own a:ld' possess in lee simple, all them az
coodent.
The trial wuz he'd, the livishen maid,
and wuz happy at beih the unable instro-
ment NV plantin the grure instooshen on
Northern silc.
But alas, OWN , the peryersity Nv the:
human mind, aforcs.d, i, didn't work. Old
John Podhamner razed his 600 with the
greatest ecze, vile Bill Sniiies, who woz Il
wurkin3 fer him fer l. dolltrs a munth,
coodcnt tetch it. Polhammcr went over
t" Bills cabin the next morning, and sez
hr, "Wilyum: frum this time hen.z4th, and
turcvcr yu air my man. Ez all slaiy hez
il his master, the Is dolers owe yoo, or
did owe 700 atore this blcssil sistem WIZ
cstablisht, shall kepe, aud ez:yoo hey moar
furnytoor than bcnytls yoor lowly condi-
shun, will send tccm over to .meror, and
talk yoor bewro and stand aud belstil zip
III my house, and
At this juIctur, liz Gums Mrs. Suifflcs,
| who kin lift GOO with old Podhammer on
the top Nv it, and ii wuz no time afore she
diskivercl what hiz bizniz waz She turn
cd read in the face. Said she:
~ cora >guiu &c talk my furny ytoor:''
':ccrting@y."
Sand we air yoar slaivs::"
"Uv coarsc"
~"And 700 ken sell my chilarin %
"Natcral'x."
"And yoo kin maik me yoor conkebinc %
"Efl wisl,.''
"Yoe old beasi:'' shrcckt the infccriatid
fecmailc chattel, forgettin her normal con-
lishun, "yu S5ch my batys, yu talk my fur
nytoor, drat yu I'll Civ ya sum Nv it now,"
whereupon she hurled u chare, which lade
him prostrait on the floor, wen she pickt
him up and slung him out the door.
1t did not end here. Podhammer ad in
biz hand a patch work kuverlid' which he
thot he would talk with HIM, and wht n he
cum tu, he walkt off with it, wereupon Mrs.
'Sni4hes he'd him TUX up on charge Nv
stec1ing, and he wuz actooally tride, found
gilty, and sent tu ',jalc for so daze. How
kin VIC establish Dcmekra'ick i4stitooshens
wen the Cortz wont recognize the laws ~
'nacher'? The experiment for tic present,
hez the apperentz ov failyer.
= PETROLEUM V, Nasty,
Pastor Nv sed Church, in charge.