Columbia Democrat and Bloomsburg general advertiser. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1850-1866, 1864-03-26

ton oil this event grand supper in his
honor was given at tho Whitestown Hotel.
OF course, the successful candidate must be
presented and entiquette demanded that he
should bring a lady with him. The com.
mitee OF arrang waited upon him to
inform him of this fact, and it may we'll
believed the communication filled him with
horror. He begged of the gentlemen to
provide him partner if he must have one
s'ipulating only that the lady should not
be young lady. In due course Of time
he was informed that he was 10 attend
Mrs. Grubbins, the widow of the late DR..
Timothy Grubbins, the wealthiest as we'll
as the tallest and latest woman in the
whole county.
The eventlul evening arrived. Mr.
Singleton took Mrs. Grubbns TO the hotel
in chaise. The lady was magnifcently
attired in double-skirted tarleton, with
ribbons, feathers and fearfully extended
crinoline
Poor fellow The thought of escorting
that gianles. into room lied with people
made him sweat like one under the infu-
ence OF powerful dose OF pecachuana.-
But he was n for it and must get out the
best way he could. Mrs. Grubbins, proud
and triumphant, preceded him, breaking
the passage, and compelling lesser people
to yield the ground. Just as she arrived
on the threshold of the banqueting hall,
she dropped her fan; and just at that mo-
meut the audience preceiving him in the
background, proposed three cheers for
Hon. Mr.. Singleton
Stooplpg to reclaim the fan, when the
enthusiastic multitude looked for their
champion he was nowhere visible. Cries
ran round the room loud aud vehement
"Mr. Singleton Mr. Singleton where is
Mr.. Singleton - and directly Mr.. Single
ton looking very hot and very much con.
fused appeared from under the upper skirt
of Mrs. Gruhbins dress that lady having
completely submerged the honorable gen.
tlemen IN the folds Of hsr drapery. Cen
tlemcn smiled in their sleeves, and ladies
giggled behind their handkerchief. Mrs.
Grubbns looked more regal than ever ,ana
Mr.. Sing teton leaned against pillar for
support
The announcer enent Of dinner was a
great relief. Judge Flanders presided ;
Mr. Grubbins occupied the seat at Single
tons right; Miss Flambeaux sat at his
left, and Lucy Deane the village belle was
his Wis vs
Our heros position was exceedingly
embarrassing to one Of his peculiar tenn
permanent, daring not to refuse anything
that was offered him, lest some one should
look at him, and the consequence was his
plate literally groaned beneath its weight
of edibss. Tomato sauce-his especial
horror, passed around preserve plate
full was allotted TO him, from which he at
tempted to swalo, but it only stuck fast in
his throat it choaked and sickcned him,
and set him to coughing violently.
"You have taken severe cold pre-
sumo" remarked Miss Flambcaux.
"Yes madam, thank you, | have" re-
turned Singleton trembling on the verge
another sneeze.
"Why don't you cat your tomatoes ?"
querried Mrs. Grubbins. My poor dead
and gone Daniel used to say there was
nothing in the whole vegetable empire
equal to tomatoes"
ono donbt, madam they are very fne;"
and Singleton essayed second spoonful.
The second dose had we'll nigh been too
much for him, and with desperate resolve
he watched until the whole company were
engaged in drinking tost, when be tilted
the preserve dish and let its contents run
into the napkin, which receptacle he whitfield
into his pocket without delay, and imme-
diately felt easier. A moment after Judge
Flander proposed sentiment
May he always retain the title OF "hon.
oracle but may be soon resign his seat
to be called single. It's not good for man
to be alone"
The sentiment was drank with applau-e
Singleton, blushing red at the iusinuation
by the words of Judge, thrust
his handln his pocket for his handker.
chief, when instead out came napkin ,toma.
to and all. hopping his forehead vigor
ously with it, and the luscious vegetable
formed all unctuous poultice thereon
pletely trans6goriDg bis countenance.-
Blinded with the juice, and half dead with
morliii cation, he thrust the napkin back
into his pocket and secured the handker
chief, while the astonished company be.
held him in silent amazement.