Muscatine weekly journal. [volume] (Muscatine, Iowa) 185?-1890, 1864-04-29

A MISSIONARY IN UR. O:DS NEW CHNRCu
ORDAINED BY Rev. PETROLEUM V. NAsvY.-
Church Nv the New Dispensashun, March II,
ls64.-Last Sundy we he'd IN improvin
seem. Robert looms Punt who hez ben .
studyin for the ministry with mo fer the past
4 weeks, wuz licenst and ordained. He is q
yooth NV much promise. He votid twist for
Bookannon, and only IL yeres old, swarm
his votes in with coolnis and eese that eggs.
cited admirashen Nv the patriarks at the biz
mis-. kin safely say that he hez whald moar
Ablishnists, burtid mour Methodist Brcshrin
and uther hetrodox churches than any Dino
crat Nv his age in the stait. He hex bril-
yant fucher. .-..,a..--
After the usual qwesiions wuz put him
and satisfactorily anserd, the congregashun
wuz dismist, and in the presents Nv the elders
and dekuns alone, delivered the followin
CHARGE:
Brother-Heven bin rsglerly ordained, it
only remanes fer me to give 700 wurd Nv
council. 700 air goin in the apossel biz
mis- at . rayther unfsvrable time. Man which
is born ov woman hez trubble for his inhsri-
tauce-I've he'd SO much Nv it that eff had
it to do over agin wcodent be born 1t all.
The politikle hevins is orcest with poreten-
SUuS CtOWOSs lag AVS1Iu Nv WlSS0 40 ASSRtu
frum wun to anuther, whist the thunder wich
wuz wunst at distance, now rores angrily
in our GERS. (Grafic ritin) The ole ship
Dimocrisy is tossing madly on to the wild
valves, with nary sale set, her seems open,
the water q Turin element to her insides) a
rushin in. The stiddiest part Nv her crew
seezd the botes and abandoned her, and the
rest Nv um er fitin for the helum.
In the menctime the ole ship is dashin past
the haven NV Success, aud is hedin strate fer
the rox Nv Destrucshen. To 700 is entrusted
part Nv the work Nv savin her. Let me
entreet 700.
l. Avoid the soljsrs. With them 700 hev
nothin in common. They will despitefully
us. 700. Wunst party Nv EN- maid me
drink pint Nv water and talk the oath nv
allejinse, witch outragis wuz follered by con.
jestian Nv the bowls and infsmashen Nv the
trane. ...... ....-,-..
2. Alluz preech agin the niger. Its
soothin to q glnooins oonstooshnel, suthern.
rites dimocrst to be constantly told that thar
is race Nv men meaner than he is. Besides
it's safe-the niger hez no vote. Ell he he'd
we might vary.
8. Alluz hev marter. The stait-rites
dimocrisy alluz simpathhze with man that's
in basteels fer simpsthyzen with the sowth,
fer nun Nv US know how soon their turn may
KUN.
4. Preech agin amalgamashen at least 4
sundays per month. A man Nv straw that
700 set up yer,elf is the eesiest knoct down,
pertikerly if 700 set him up with view Nv
nockin Nv HIM down.
5. A'lus diloot yoor whisky fer new con-
warts II foiko m, ch "a copvart . Abl;Shp;ok
and eff 700 use the pure artikle it wood kill q
ordinary constooshen afore he'd have time to
vote, wlch wood be aggervatin.
6. Sarch the skripters faithfully for sech
passagis ez cuzzid be Kansn, seryance obey
yoor masters and SIGH.
7. Lern to rede, or at leest git the shaip
Nv the letters so fixt in yoor mind that when
700 qwote from book or newspaper, you will
hold it rite side up. Eddicashen hez bin .
CRATE help me.
8. Learn to spell and pronounce Mssene.
GYMNASIUM. Its a good word. ',.
The great ledin Jees Nv our sekt which it
is yoor dooty to inkulkait is these: The mig.
gers ape, Linkin goriller, JEFF. Davis a
chrischen gentlemen, rebellyun a struggle for
rites, the soljer buddy tool, Ben. Buttles 4
beest, ct settry. Yoo air never bleeve in
Fedral victrys, but must alluz cridit confed
rit successes. I waodenr advice you to let
your faith in the Confedrisy 60 fur as to talk
their skip on yer salary, neither wood 1
burn greenbax.
Ihev dun, Go, my bruther. Let yer DO
Ter star be Dimocrisy, yer rallyin cry. 1.-THE
Yoanun ez it wuz-the Constooshn ez it iz,"
which is latitoodinus, fite the good fite. and
the day will cum wen 700 kin lay orr yer ar
mer, and with "Pr NJ" after yer naim, engoy
the repose that alluz follows well-drectid and
wiggerus effort.
Bro. Punt startid to day for Suthem Illinoy
where he has congregashen. -r
rt. PETROLEUM " Massey,
FASTER nv sed Church in CHARGE