Belmont chronicle. [volume] (St. Clairsville, Ohio) 1855-1973, 1864-12-29
/ Tale Of the Great Saratoga
Trunk.

Old Anthracite has a very dear wife-so
dear that she costs him on her own private
account abont $4,000 year. Mr.. Anthran-
tic always has the latest fashions, so when
the great Saratoga Trunk was exhibited in
Broadway, Mrs. A. instantly purchased one
for her summer trip.
Every one knows that the great Saratoga
trunk is an unexcsptionable trunk. 1t is
celassal-of Titanic proportions. Cheops,
the builder Of the great pyramid might
have found ample accommotion for her en-.
tire household in the great Saratoga trunk.
Accordingly, down went Mrs. A. to the
great Watering place With her great trunk.
She had not been long there, however,
when old Anthratc received private tele-
graph from friend informing him that Mrs.
A. was flirting desperately with young Bel
zebub, son and heir of cid Belzebub, the
great soap boiler. Anthracite instantly
takes the train, arriving at the hotel and
inquiring the number of his wife's room,
quietly walked up stairs. His wfe's door
is shut. ANTHRACITE knocks. Door opens
after some delay. Mrs. A. futtered, which
hutter increases to dismay when she sees
her husband Husband enters coolly, ex-
plains that he just came to see how she was
getting on, aud seated himself on tho Sara
togs trunk. Drops glove, the picking up
Of which enabled him to look under the bed.
No one there. Mrs A. looked as though
sowe one oaght to be there. Husband talks
OF the weather, and the pair are sitting to
little light conversation, when cid Anthrac-
tic remarks, quietly:
MRS. A., there's rat in your trunk"
:, Mrs. A. turns pale through her paint.
No. husband is mistaken. The rat is in
tAo >lxuox
rats. Husband is sure it is in the trunk
He smells him; he will examine. Mrs. A.
very anxious he should not. He can't
The trunk is shut, and she has lost the key.
Husband begs to contradict. The key was
in the lock--the lid was open.
Husband, amid the protestations of Mrs.
A., half raised the lid. No crinoline, no
shawls, no lace, no furbelows, in the great
Saratoga trunk only young Belzebub's
glossy curls and killing mustacbe are visible.
Mrs. A. instantly faints. It's the privilege
of her sex on such occasions. What does
husband do2 Shoot young Belzebub p
Not bit of it. He smiles grimly and shuts
the lid down again, locking the great Sara
toga trunk. He rings the bell; tells the
waiter to bring him gimlet. Bores few
holes through the great trunk. Orders up
the porter, and goes to New York accom-
panied by the great Saratoga trunk. W hat
would not the trunk have given for a cigar
in baggage wagon, when it smeled the
tobacco smoke that was so literally pulled
about The trunk, although nearly suf-
focated, thought best to keep quiet. Ar
irving at New York, old Anthracite told the
people at the depot. loud enough for the
great Saratoga trunk to hear him. that he
would leave his baggage st the Office for
few days, when he would send for it. This
was more than The great trunk could bear,
so he kicked, shouted. and made noisa
until it was broken open and to the amaze
ment of everybody, poor Bclzsbub crawled
out in limping condition. He tried to tell
the people that twas done for bet. but
somehow, tie truth leaked out, and | pre-
dict that there will be fewer great Saratoga
trunks at the Springs next summer. |
think old Anthracite got the best of it, don't
YOU?