Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1864-01-23

are beauty, Ellen)
'Come here, Tommy" said a schoolmast-
er, "do you know your A C's Z" Yes, zur
! know a bee sees"
A person speaking TO a very deaf man,
and getting angry at his not catching his
meaning, said why it's as plain rs A Il
c." "Ihat may be, SIR" replied the poor
man; "but l am ID L T."
a lady occupying room letter B at one of
the hotels wrote on the slate the following
"Wake letter b at seven and if letter Is
says, Let us be- don't let letter b be, be-
cause if you let letter B be, letter B will be
unable to let her house to Mr.. B., who is to
be on hand at halfpast seven.n The porter,
a better boot-back than orthographist, did
not know at seven whether to wake ''lettcr
b. or "lct her be-"
The story is quite old of Mr.. Ottiwell
Woods way Of spelling his name:
40, double T,
/, double L,
/, double l.,
double L,
double o,
D."
The lawyer who asked him in court how
to spell it, was unable to write it down.
Most people remember, too, the way we
Double L dodble q double d, Z,
II, o, double L, double 5, Z.
1t wasn't correct, but it made rhyme.
The preacher was thought master of his
art who told his congregation that they
were "the chickens of the Church, the spar
rows OF the Spirit, and the sweet swallows
of salvation"
ACRosTICS.
The acrostic is used mostly by verdant
bards and youthful schcolmstresscs when
writing to the idols of their hearts, for the
purpose of indicating the name of the
adored one along the outside wall of the
verse. The following, however, on Benedict
Arnold, the traitor, is worth giving, as it is
sa,c to have been written by his cousin,
Oliver Arnold, and was formerly published
in ii London paper. 1t is one of the most
severe comments ever passed upon the char
acter of any man. There is scarcely q word
but is fraught with the bitterest denuncia-
ton:
Born for curse to virtue and mankind,
Earth broadest realms can I show 80 black mind
Night sable veil your crimes can never hide
Each one, SO great, would gint historic tide
Defunct, your cursed memory will live
In all the glare that infamy can give;
Curses of ages will attend your name
Almighty vengeance sternly waits to roll
'hlNers OF sui phur on your treacherous soul
Nature looks back, with conscious error sad.
On such FARNIsnED ELIOT that she has made.
Let hell receive you riveted in chains
Doomed TO the HOTTEST FocUs Of its fame ~
THE LETTER II.
There is something profoundly lamentable
IN the conversation OF n Cockney. An cx-
change paper gives the following as the
direction OF an English father to his son
=" AIRY, 'op hup and go down to Mr. Arriss,
hask i'm hit e as bit hof hash or hoax to
make 'ammer 'ande." We can remember
something about as good, and quite true.
An Anguish actor was playing Pierre, in
NV lliiam Tell" Pierre has the following
speech: "iorriblel Most horrible To save
his own and Albert's life, Tell has consented
to shoot an apple off his own sons head
The actor knocked about the his thus
'Orrible Most 'orrible! To save is hown
hand lialbert's life, Tell as consented to
shoot han happe hotf Us hown sons cad"
Here is the letter HIS complement of abuse
presented to the inhabitants of London:
Whereas, have by you been driven
From House from Home from Hope, from Heaven,
And placed by your most learned society
In exile, anguish, and anxiety,
And used without one just preteuce,
with Arrogance and Iusolence,
here demand just restitution,
And beg you II mend your eloeution.
REPLY.
Whereas, we've rescued You, migrate,
From llandcuf, Horror, and from Hate
Prom Iluntsman, Horsepond and from Halter,
And concentrated YOU in altar,
And placed you where YOU ne 'eT should be,
In Honor and in Honesty,
We deem yonr prayer rude intrusion,
And Will not mend our eOcution.
The cockney's etlod OF spelling saloon
Is well known. said he "there's hess,
and Il hay, and hell, and two hoes and
hem A gentleman travelling through
Yorkshire, outside of stage coach, asked
the driver the maine of very pretty village
they were passing through. The reply was
"lloogreen.' Being asked 10 spell il, he
replied; I'VE spell il with an hatch aud
two hoes, gee, han two hees and II hen"
is there anything for George llogden 2"
inquired Il young man the other day at the
New York post office "Nolhing, SIR"
Three days did George ask for letter. The
last day, happening 10 watch the clerk, he
suddenly cried Look ere | say You're
looking among the matches and my name
begins with u ho -
~~s~s 77