The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1864-04-29
COn>,craaiion in a Respectable Family

We = ere. 10 Say mai through Tie bl--.-
..y.isc : cyaat.y cousin, one of the t;r>,
families = B.s,on Ms recently thrown into
2 ste Of CONSERVATION an Indignation
v..icg J: : Impossible 10 describe. For !
wa..e ->ricu> consCqnenses were apprehended
ha' a.-s- Yaoprr r-s;ora,iyes Were applied
,... ,A.s.I:-a;.nvs tn4 e the tamily We're ena-
.a.,. a.. -aA- ter II a., VIZ. 1:.e accustomed
regularity aui relish The misunderstanding
~ caused in I singular manner, a-.d can. in
a mra,2re. he attributed 10 The number Of
n....sry hero, xho Ia, :: III c:;y.
l. >e-,:., 'a-. ;ae cousin who caassd the
;rouh- = alive of Ne-r, o@t. arI now on
W.: % a. uncle in the ci'y. One evening
during the recent spell Of cold weather, tie
on'y Isa-,ttsr Of house. Idly Of seve--
teen. whose Je.icacy IS part of her ra,urs,
and whose n..ad was entirely above earthly
things. with the exception OF the opera, new
dresses ard = carrias.. remarked ore eve
Ming in the rresence Of lhs far'ily. without
word OF Ulrning, that 81. was farm. CT
ireezis { i she went 10 bel.
Her ,notatr was about TO ut;er some e1-
pre>>;on of consolation. when the cousin
lruGe that re wasl remarked in loud tone.
So loul that every ore heard him
Why don't yon take major 10 bed with
yoa ,"
There was faint shrek. and Henr;et;c
was observed to tail sci se.ess on the plush
sofa. Her position was noted however, s,r
, its grace and the careful manner in which
her cr.roi!ne was adjusted
"W";c6,' cried the father. "yoa have
muFdere'. my tauglte. with yo-r vulsarity -
. II SNOW, yelled the Vermonier, with :
dolsful look. &" didn't mear-"
7 Si'on1c. 81. - cr:.l ,h, brother, who hai
attempted to get commission as brig
der general, and failed Only because he cuce
b+ions,d 10 a home guard and knew, there
fore. TOO much about military affairs.
Darn 1t. won't yon--"
+ No. SIR, we Will not" cried the enrage i
parents. A man that recommends ny
daughter 10 Sleep with major is not fit for
decent society,""
But | didn't mean it screamed tie
Yankee; but no aiien,ionSwas paid to The
words.
' SIC revives-she reyires-;he shock has
not killed he;," the doat;ng mother said,
5enaing over her child and kissing her.
Only think" said the fair one, It.
cousin should recommend common major
when there are SO many major generals witt
out wives"
1T was cruel bow: but you must bear
up, dai ing" whispered the mother
"Garra;io. went somebody listen tc
HE e.ied the perpiexed Vermonter; Il
didn't mean tia: lien. should sleep with q
real IKE rlajnr-oue 0: them malicious officer,
IL course, didn't. And don't want her 10
unless she IS married: and then she NAV for
-'' = ak hoIlcA -lSE 10 10 dS OuG gas
10 cold nights. 1hey heat bricks and put
them TO their feet; and up in cur parts tie
gals Cal! them majors. That's what mean !.
and what's the use OF fuss about it; that's
what | want TO know"
1t seems We are labor.ng under mis-
tase,' SAID the mead of the family; but
really, hereafter, where there are Young la
dies il the room, don't think Id mentit n
such things. The young lacies of this c.-H
are tol delicate for sch vulgar names"
Tie Nermonter promised to be more carr
ful in future, ami tie family are doing vel.
I-Ercaange.