The evening telegraph. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1864-1918, 1864-09-24

he London 4aRen@~n thus happily takes

The London dthcn0un thus happily takes
OF" the sway Of custom in our language =
The principal advisers OF King Custom are as
follows First, there is Etymology, the chiBonicr,
or general rag merchant who has made such
fortune of late years in his own business that he
begins 10 be considered highly Respectable. lie
gives advice which is more thought OF than tol-
lowed, partly on account OF the fearful extremes
into which he runs. He lately asked some boys
OF sixteen, at matricuauOn examination in
English, 10 what branch of the lndo Germanic
family they felt inclined 10 refer the Pushto lan-
guagC and what changes In the force OF the letters
took place in passing from Greek into Mrso-
GohiC.
Because all syllabos were once words he Is q
little inclined 10 insist that they shall he 50 still.
"A lie would gladly rule English with a Saxon rod,
which might be permitted with certain dtscro-
ton, which he has never attained and when OPP
posed he defends himself with the aualogies OF
the Ayau family until those who hear him long for
the discovery of an Athanasyus. He will trans
port word beyond seas-he Is recorder Of Rhe-
matopois-on CitCumstanual evidence which
looks like mystery gone mad but strange TO say,
something very often comes 20 lghta sentence
passed which proves the soundness of the con-
victiOn.
The next adviser is Logic swearing old jus
tice OF peace, quorum, and rOtulorum, whose
cNccsscs brought on such tit Of the gout that
for many years be was unable TO move He is
now mCndiug, aud his friends say he has sOwn
bis wild oats. He has some influence with the
educated subjects Of Custom, and he will have
|
ought to stop; with them nc has succeeded in
making an affirmative Of two negatives but the
vulgar won't never have nothing 70 say TO him.
! lie has always rallied az Milton for writing that
Eve was the iaircst of her daughters; but has
never satisfactorily shown what Milton ought to
/ have said instead.
/ The third adviser has more influence with the
| mass Of the subjects Of King Custom than the
other two put together; his name is Flddlc-iadde,
the toy.shop keeper; and the other two put him
forward 70 do their worst work. In return, he
| ott,n uses their names without authority lie
took ETY. mology to witness that means TO an end
must be plural; and he would have any one
. method to be q mean. But EtymOlogy proved
, him wrong. Custom referred him to his cate
| Chi,m, in which is "a means whereby we receive
the same, and Analogy, subordinate Of ETY.
mology, asked whether he thought 1t a great Ho'C
to hear that he was wrong
II was either this Fiddle-faddle, or Lindley
Murray, his traveller, who persuaded the Miss
Shpslops OF the Ladies' Seminary, TO put "rhe
Misses Slipslop' over the gate SIXTY years ago,
this bagman called at all the girls schools and
got many of the teachers TO insist on their pupils
saying is II not and "Can not for Isn't II
and "Cant | :" Of which il came that the poor
girls were dreadfully laughed at by their irreve-
rent brothers when they went home for the holi-
days. Had this bad adviser not been severely
our saying "Ghc Queens of England son." de-
clarng, in the name Of logic, that the Prince was
the Queens son, not Englands.
Lastly, there is Typography the mctallurgist
l | Al tANNuLlNC OllNtI WIZ Is always hl WOIh III
secret, and whose lawlcss mode Of advising is
oilcn done by carrying his notions into etlec
without leave given. He II is who never ceases
suggesting that the same word is not to occur il
a second place within sight of the first. Wher
the authorized version was first printed, he bega
this trick at the passage, "Let there be light, anC
there was light !" he drew line on the proO
under the second hght and wrote "h0RiHoSity
opposite He is strongest in the punctuatons and
other signs; he has pepper-boX full of commas
always by his side. lie puts everything under
marks Of quotation which he has ever heard
before.
An earnest preacher, in a very moving sermon
used the phrase Alas and alack a day Typo
graphy stuck up the inverted commas because he
had read the only Anglo-Indiau toast, "a lass
and a lac q day" If any one should have the
sense TO leave out of his Greek the unmeanine
scratches which they call accents, he goes TO
lexicon and puts them in. He is powerful il
/, routine; but when two routines nterlace or over
lap, he frequently takes the wrong one.
Subject TO bad advice, and sometimes mise(
for season, King Custom goes on his quiet way
and is sure to be right at last.
Treason does never prosper: what's the rcason2
Why, when 10 prOspers, none dare call it treason