Weekly Trinity journal., 1864-07-09
Am Unsociable Bedfellow.

aD0ut elgnL o CLOCK one evening" al Counuy
inn in the western part of Pennsylvania, and de-
manded lodgings for the night.
It was evident from his appearance and ac-
tions that he and liquor had been jolly good
companions throughout the day. The landlord
was lazy, good-natured soul, and had imbibed
rather freely that day himself.
elf give you light, and tell you where the
room is, can you find the place 2" said the land
lord. z
Och, and its meself that can do that most
Elegantly. Just show me the way, an III find
il as aisy as you plase,' rejoined the Irishman.
The directions were given him, and also a can
die, lie was directed to go to room ON the
second floor of the house. By the time he had
reached the top of the stairs his light had be-
come extinguished, and he had forgotten in what
direction he was to go. Seeing rays of light is
sue from room, the door of which stood lightly
ajar, he reconnoitered the inside of the room,
and found it to contain a bed in which lay a
man, and stand with a small lighted lamp
upon it.
Feeling disinclined to make any further search
for the room to which he had been directed, he
Invested himself of his clothing and quietly crept
into bed.
young lady and gentleman entered the room
The Irishman eyed them closely. They seated
themselves on the chair in close proximity to
each other, and after chatting for a short time,
the young man threw his arms around her waist
in very cousinly manner, and imprinted kiss
upon her tempting lips. The scene amused the
Irishman vastly, and being free from selfshness,
he concluded that his sleeping companion should
be participant in the enjoyment of the scene,
and nudged him, but without causing him to
stir. He put his hand upon him, and found that
he was tightly locked in the embrace of death.
simultaneously with this discovery, he bounded
out of bed, exclaiming:
.1,, iptc OfH
PROTECT me u
before the young lady and gentleman were max
ing rapid strides toward the stairway, terror be-
ing depicted on their countenances.
They had just reached the top of the stairs,
when the Irishman came dashng along as though
the fends of Erebus close at his heels in
tent on making him their prey, and the whole
three went tumbling down the stairs, and it is
hard to determine which of the three reached
the foot of the stairs first.
The landlord stood aghast the Irishman
rushed into the bar-room, with nothing between
him and nudity but garment vulgarly called a
shirt, the hair on his head standing upon end,
his eyebals ready to start from their sockets,
and he gasping for breath.
It was a sight which would have made man
laugh who had worn vinegar face from the day
of his birth. Nothing could induce him to seek
bed that night again,
When the young lady and gentleman found
that it not the corpse who had SO uncere-
moniously bounded from the bed, they returned
to the room (they being the watchers for the
night,) and doubtless commenced their counting
at the point where it was so suddenly broken off
A SURGEONS SToRY.-One sometimes has to
resort to drol methods to save life and alleviate
suffering, in the service of wounded men, where
balls, Shells and all instruments of death have
cd in hla will
bodies.
shall never forget one of this sort when
l was down at our receiving depot after the bat
tie of Fair Oaks. A poor fellow came into us in
the greatest agony that you can conceive Of He
was suffering from thirst, the most excruciating.
He would snatch up a vessel of water and pour
it down his throat, and it would right out
on both sides of his neck. Poor fellow, he was
shot straight through the eophagus, and not one
drop of liquid could reach his stomach. | want
ed a stomach pump, but it was not to be obtained
there, so took long, flexible tube used for
surgical purposes, and gently and carefully
pushed it below the wound into the stomach.
then prepared canned milk and water of
such strength as thought his stomach could
bear after long fasting and with syringe in
jected it. Never did poor fellow manifest more
JOY appear to be more relieved. 'tMore,
more, were the signs he made when had given
him all that prudence could allow, and when
proposed to withdraw the tube to relieve him
until it should be proper to feed him again, he
would not let me, but proposed to hold on to his
precious u friend in need ~ Gradually we gave
him toast water and strained soup, and when
last saw him he was in the ambulance with his
tube still hanging from his mouth, and his
syringe, which he had learned to use himself, in
his hand. So probably it remained until the
holes in his throat united, and nature, the won
derful healer, rendered the surgeons contrivance
no longer necessary.
PATIENCE OF JoB.-Upon this congenial topic
Josh. Billings thus eloquently discourses
Everybody is in the habit Nv Dragging on
Job, and Job did hev a considerable ov pile ov
pashence, that's fac, but did he ever keap a
district skule at dollars month, and board
roalnd Did ever reap lodged oats doun hill
on hott da, and hev all his galus butens bust
off to wunst? Did he ever hev the jumpin tuth-
ache, and be made to tend the babee while his
wife was over to Ole Perkinses tn a tea squall ?
Did he ever get up in the mornin awful dry, and
fut it miles afoar breakfast to get drink, and
then find that the man KEEP temperance house
Did he ever undertake tn milk kiken hefer,
with a boshy tail, in fiji time, out in the lot? Did
heset doun on a litter Nv Kittens in the old arm
cheer, with his Sumer pantylunes, on without
saying-Darnation Did he ever wock fore
miles tn Sc his sweetheart when it wuz ez kold ez
jehu, and after knockin at the dore for harf an
our, Sc ner lux out the wln0er u Sc VINO IL wuZ,
and then hev to go hum without gitten in? If
he Good du awl these things, and Civ praze at
the same time, awl hev tn sa il, Bully for Job !
LUSArIc's ExPLASATIoN.-T insane often
entertain the most ludcrous idea of their own
condition. There is man in an asylum in one
of the neighboring States, who became insane
in consequence of failure in business. He ex-
plains the reason of his Incarceration as follows :
am here because of a mere mistake in bust
ness was engaged during the winter in max
ing mosquitoes wings, which l expected to sell
In the summer. had ten thousand of them on
hand when the season opened, but unfortunately
Paq forgotten to make them in pairs. They
wee glisb.hand wings, and consequently lost
Inc sale OF them, and was compelled to suspend
payment" He relates this story with a gravity
ana earnestness which testifes to the sincerity
Of MS own belief in the explanation.
AT school establishment for poor children
IN en- Engiish town. the clergyman who was
teaching was asking among other things, q WHY
were Adam and Eve turned out of Paradise q',E
Up jumped boy, and with eager countenance
answered, because they could not pay the