Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1864-09-08
5tltsttllaneous.
4 Half Cooked sPistle.

test III the shape of a half cooked 'Pistle.
/, I'm a soldier man. A large, able bodied
, boisterOus soldier boy. I'm in the army
a part of the Grand Army. 1t is nigh unto
three sweet years since | MIXED the brinde
I COW and kissed my Arabellar, and started
, for to follow base drum way down in tho
, land of baseness, where generals change
their base oftener than we uns change our
, shirts, and where gray-backs stick to o fel-
E low longer than do greenbacks 1t makes
me crawl to think ofit--to think what a de
batter | shall be if ] continue in this grand
: l1yceum nIucn longer. Talk about Comb on
4 the Head. Or of one of these new-fangled,
,fI clipsticker. twentyseven stitch knitting ma
! chimes. Us dear cherubims of the Aamy
r. are the greatest knitting machines in the
j world, as we crack our jokes along in solid
= colunn-in blue mass with brass buttons.
Why don you able-bodied pets come and
extinguish yourselves. It's fun. We have
but little to do. We go to partes--that is,
y We attend a ball once in while. And We
are not profane, even if proficient in the
n sword exercise. All we do is, to march
Z forth from the fourth Of one March to an
\ other. We rank as good fellows.
We fight more in division than in multi
cation. In fact we don't multiply muchl
: | sit here in camp. / eat my hard tack az.
ter it is fried, hammered, broken, and oiled.
| sit and pound my cube shortcakes with
the feeling of reverence due to their great
q age, and ponder over the future end Of the
ri future ! look at the officers as they go
e prancing BY on their cquinoxial steeds. /
= scratch my head with dirty fingers for two
reasons One Is that my head enjoys the
n scratch, and unless do it with dirty fingers
;. it is not done at all. | gaze into the past Of
# this brotherly squirmish and wonder when
+ too will be cut in two and offered up by A
braham on the alter of Ham :. Then
: peer into the future even as sweet girl
h with red garters, peers under her bed in
:. fear lest some injurious chap be hereunder
g concealed to appear after she is in the arms
h Morphy. Then | sing.
! Did you ever hear me make melodies In
d my heart? | could sing like major before
! | was a miner in the Lehigh Valley Coal
n Mines.
n Goodness is music, but am on it. / am
,n as terrible as an army with pictorials, cotton
| hooks, and proclamations, when l sing.
n And the sweet songs are of my own conpo-
or sition. | do not mean of my own flesh and
m blood, but they are composed by me on pur-
Of pose. Sometimes folks listen sometimes
o. they don't, This is one of my little inno-
n cent carols:
i'd would that I were home again,
leI And sparkling the girls the at night.
II For an engagement there you see would
be better than all looking over this desecrated
o,n soil looking Tor q chance to nght.
as The ultimate line may be like this war-s
EN- little too long for good thing. Then here
itry is another verse, iEipromptu but not impe
aud dent.
not Ia like to be a general
le ) With nothing for to do.
are I'd like 20 be a general
sent I'd read the papers drink good wine,
: of And play draw poker too?
will five had fight Ia stay behind
As most Of generals do
the How is that section of rythm in uniform
9th for the poetical etfusion of blind boy whc
led has no optics? Answer But then | ain
var general Too smart for that Nor CO.
ib- lionel, nor a major, nor a captain, simply q
md high private when can get the first charge
ov- on canteen full of corn cider.
lg- Seventeen minutes since by the sun,
yal was made happy as fire cracker that won
sly go off by receiving letter from my Ara
he bellar Did you know [ had an Arabelar.
Ist Well, [ have. And she is just old angeli-
ain cism for girl of her age, sweet forty one
di- with prospect She is so handsome a
ng COW cant stand still while she is milking her
he And she is as good as angels are.
-on With a squint in her eye.
Of And kinx in her hair
Which is as butter and elegently yellar,
Sc She is sweet as a peach,
re- And just in my reach
the FreclIeled her face is,
for Dumpy her waist
hts Her checks are fat freclkled ant
: - Numerous her charms, mellar
Like vices her arms
o Lordy, it's when she squeeses her fellur
NOR Her fellur is me. Amt in luck? In
We deed | Is Well as | remarked, letter
this from her has Just reacheu me- -, GU know
reI. we uns in the Army always like letters
the And this is the soul elevating style my owl
nro- fair picture of health indicated TO me.
rom Dear Brick-A-Bus { 4 pun for kis
Don't come home till this cruel war is over
,eet | want you to stay till the whole of piec
70. is declared, and kin come kivered with glo
ry. You know you are my pet. How OF
:. have kissed you IN mys.ireams Nyes ant
when awake and thunked of you in m.
walker moments. 1t is so lonely now tha
To you are away, brave cherisher of my earth
et- ly heart, that have the blues till my poo
nervous soul is as blue as your coat and but
Mr.. tons. But now feel better.
CON John William Loyal is here to see m
ners every other night We walk out in th
COW pasture, we chase the pigs and pigsi'
igh- around the ill-pond, We tramp up an
rife, down ecreek, we play with mother scaiVe
lend we hold each other by the hand, and {
un- his curly head lies low in my lap, l kiss hi
CON for his mothers sake and in memory OF vol
the He is nice young man, and would enlls
CON but he says he aint WELL So goodbye, N
meet darling Brick, who is bonny soldier boy.
ond. EVERY yourly Arabellar r"
Yes we dear boys in the Army rath
4. ike the Loyal family. Wait till the stat
tand horn sounds for my return, and | IL fix tn
nder dear invalid who is not able to fight, but
rue, able to talk sweet and stub his toes over {
see stones with my sweet Arabellar. Wond
what will grow out Of this solicitude? Ega
>" Believe II go'on picket till | get over Ii
piQue at this candidate for an invalid corp
/. You see this letter is somewhat demora
di- lied. SO am l. have been reading Il
now Telegraph, and if that don't demorallIze
oubt man, NAV live to be manikln wltho
act kith or kin to any man. And, besides Il
telegraph news, we drew pay yesterda
:" And we drew corks last night, And v
,uds: drew headaches this morning till we are
"A. sore as Druids. Ifyou don't like this lett
lat if nublish it, If you like this letter keep
IS to and when / get over this cussedest al
Jones wussedeat sit Of decentralization ever an q!
burn aregate or integral part of an army had, |
may ndite you an epistle from the rank and hit
0 my which YOU can rank as worth place in you
:" files as one of the big guns. The cloths 9
etter this war looks decidedly blue, as certain a
that am. n,,,