Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1864-03-17
George A. Sala's American Notes.


America chance acquaintance are easily
made The extreme taciturnity Of the work
ing classes have dwelt upon over and over
again. In the cars, or on board steamboats,
a stranger rarely speaks to you, and more
rarely if YOU speak to him does he give YOU a
civil answer You may live for weeks in an
hotel without exchanging a word with any
one save the clerks At the table dhoteL there
is no miscellaneous conversation. In the
smoking-room you pick up no chatty citizens
of the world, and what delightful cosmopolitan
acuuaintances have we not picked up in ho-
tells, even in Eng land, the so-callad crusty
and surly? Once or twice L have tried the
ladies' drawing room in American caravansa-
ries but / have speedily grown frightened
of that family vault handsomely carpeted, with
corpses in crinoline, scattered about like en-
balmed monks in the catecombs of Palermo,
and have fed away dismayed The truth is,
that the extreme publicity of hotel life in
America makes the respectable classes chary
Of talking to strangers. They will eat with you,
drink with you, smoke with you, spit with
YOU, and almost sleep with you-for you fire.
quently have to share a steamboat stateroom
with a stranger, and once | have been ask
ed whether | wanted a bed to myself, or
would "rOom with a man | didn't know
from Adam-but they won't talk with
you. You may be a " confidence man."
/. e., a swindler. You may have just OBJ
tanned your exeat from some States Pris-
on; or at this moment, alas you may be
Secesh, a Copperhead-I have been informed
more than once that | am one Of the latter,
though, goodness knows, my locks are inclin-
ing far more towards grey than coppery
hue-or a spy. In this country, too, no dis
tinctions of dress mark the different classes
in society. The clergyman dresses like lay
man, and the prisoner in the dock is often
better attired than the judge on the bench
You don't know whether the person sitting
next to you is prime minister Or a Peter
Funk auctoneer, a member Of Congress or a
spirituallst medium. a friend of mine who
had a remarkable faculty for making friends
under the most unpropitous circumstances,
did contrive to patch up an acquaintance with
a most at1able, fluent, and well-informed per-
son at the Fifth Avenue Hotel. The affable
person asked him to liquor, and subsequently
handed him card informing him that he was
a chiropOdist, and offering to extract his corns
at the rate of dollar apiece-no root no
cash. With shame, too, must confess, that
the only chance acquaintance I have made
here-a whiskered handful gentleman, whom
took to be a brigadier general at the very
least, turned out, according to his own expla-
nation, to be "interested in dentifrice y
He had fifth in a patent for making tooth
powder, and lived royalty on the profits. Now
do you comprehend the reluctance of Ameri-
cans to foregather with people they don't
know? You may be a highly respectable per-
son; But per contra, you may be a croupier at
a faro table, or distinguished felon, Just fu-
gitive from Europe!
Produce, however, one Of those magic en-
velOpes containing note of introduction
and the case is at once altered. The open
sesame seldom fails. The bullet rarely miss
es the billet. Once let the Americans really
know who and what you are, and they well
come you with open arms. Their houses,
their horses, their carriages, their servants,
are all at your disposal, not metaphorically,
as the Spaniards offer them, but actually and
entirely. They will dine you, they will break
fast you, they will sup you, and when there
is nothing legitimate in the way of eating
and drinking going on, they will press you
with oysters. They will give you, if you al
low them great deal more champagne, Ma
deria, Scotch ale, and Bourbon whisky than is
good for you. If you say you are tetotaler,
they will send you dozen of Congress wa
ter or effervescing sarsaparilli. If you con-
tess yourself a smoker, they will cram your
pockets with Cabanas, or send you box of
lmperials almost as long and strong as
pokers. Admire an American author and
then you will find his works, handsomely
bound, on your table when you return home.
1t happened the other day that, intending
to look in at New Orleans, thought might
as well get up little Spanish. Forthwith a
copy Of Ollendorf9s Spanish grammar was sent
me. They will insist on paying your hackney
coach, your omnibus, and ferry fare and |
positively believe that were | mean enough
to ask, | could find a dozen friends who
would pay my hotel bill. That which they
do to strangers the Americans are not
slow to do among themselves. A gentleman
of mature years informed me lately that
his uncle had sent him thousand dollars
as new years gift. They are always making
presents. Any person of good means, with
a house of his own, is sure to have from six
to a dozen nephews, nieces, and cousins
staying with him for months at time.
never knew such a people for having
cousins, particularly females, and pretty. Ten
to one, also, but you will find an adopted child
in every other family. When an American
fails in business-and most of them fail at
some time or another-he is sure, if he be at
all a decent kind Of man, to find friends who
start afresh. And, pray let me add, that it
would be doing cruel and shameful wrong
to this people, to assume that their hospitality
towards the strangers within their gates is
dictated by vulgar spirit of ostentation.-
That there are vulgarians, and ''stuck- up"
and ostentatious folks in the Union is clear
enough; but their great heart in respect to the
sacred duty of hospitality is sound and in
the performance of that duty they beat. the
English, the Irish, and the Russians
is saying great deal. In France, you know,
you get little but sugar and water out of your
friends; in Germany nothing but smoke and
in Italy there are some grand houses where
you can only obtain supper by paying for it.
In Spain you can obtain nothing to eat, be-
cause, beyond eggs and chocolate, and garlic,
there is nothing to eat. But la the United
States you may ruin your digestive organs for
nothing in fortnight. If the oysters and
canvas-back ducks don't give you dyspepsia,
the eternal ice-creams and candied sweet
meats will; and when you fall sick, will have
plenty of kind friends to press Hostetter's
and brakes Plantation Bitters as curatives on
your acceptance. All this is done in sheer,
bOunteous generosity, and kindness of heart.
Not vapid tourist lands in New York-with
letters always be it understood-not guards
man runs down from Canda, not gunroom
mess Of a man-of-war comes into port, but
the foodgates of American hospitality are
opened. With all their real shrewdnes and
imputed cunning, the Americans are in many
respects as frank, as simple, and as innocent
as children. For that very reason are they to
me a mystery, and a problem which | can
never hope to solve. For once have anything
to do with them in business, and you will find
yourself in light place." and among your
kind-hearted friends you will become aware
of a.considerable proportion who would steal
the very teeth out of your head. Stealing is