Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1864-01-28

ih'cu ~ iile OWL SdtISIdCJlOD, at least.
may not be clever" said Dick; but I
do think | am sagacinus. You would not
have imagined now, Mirlns, how the simple
habit of observation alone preserved me from
passing last night in the street. I arrived at
your nospitable door at about 1915, and it
utterly refused to OPEN"
Then it was you, Dick, was it." Interrupt
ted l, Indignantly, who kept US awake for
hours scrabblIng at the keyhole2 ,"
Yes, 1t was me-" replied Dick, coolly;
and L must say, cousin, that If you heard
my frantic efforts to obtain. admittance, you
might have sent Mivins doyn to let fellow
in"
But we thought it was thieves" expostu-
lated my husband; land besides, there was
that horrid dog of yours in the Spare Room,
which you told me yourself, when it once
got hold ia mans leg, would never let 60"
That is very true" replied Dick, proudly.
a." hot poker put close to his nose would be
the sole method of persuading him to part
company, and suppose such an instrument
could not have been procured at that late
hour. However, it was | at the door; and
the latch-key which I had carried so carefully
IN my waistcoat pocket had got itself stuffed
up with a fuzzy substance, and the harder |
pokcd it into the keyhole the harder that OBJ
struction became. Perhaps it was a little
later than 12:l5-"
" 1t was halfpast two, Dick" remarked l,
parentheticallv.
" Was it, really cousin? How wonderfully
quick the time does pass in London Well,
at all events, there was nobody to be seen or
heard. Nandeleur Terrace was as silent as
our farm-yard in the country before cock
crow, and | could hear myself apostrophizing
hat lat MI ip1,- 7
our wall-garden with the echo / whistled
down the barrel of it; bnt l might just as well
have whistled for wind. | knelt down and
knocked it against the doorstep; but I might
as well have tried to make rabbit bolt by
jumping on the mouth of its burrow. If I'd
only had scarfpin, could have picked the
thing clean il half minute but then my
scarf pin had been stolen about two hours be-
fore by very gentlemanly person who had
asked me the way to St. Pauls Churchyard.
Then all of a sudden remembered that, three
streets off or 50, | had seen a solitary police
man amusing himself with a-no, not with
toothpick; but with pin instead of a tooth
pick"
"Dick," said |, don't be vulgar"
Certainly not, cousin" said he.-"I had
reflected upon passing him that it was an I'M
gentcel occupation; but had foreborne to
make any remonstrance, Oh account of his
having nothing else to do. Now blessed my
stars that [ had not made him my enemy by
any such rebukc. Threading my way care
fully back, | found him at the exact spot
where | had left him, and engaged in the
same occupation.
Policeman, said I, my latch-kcy is stuff
cd up-have you got such thing as pin?'
for thought that any more direct reference
tn ont
sion might be considered offensive to his dig
nifty.
Sir said he, L have got half ii dozen;'
and he exhibited seam of his coat quite
studded with those articles. Without enter
ing into the very interesting question of why
he carried so many pins, | selected one of
them, and, having removed the obstacle that
prevented me from enjoying your hospitality,
| thanked him, and returned it to him in com
pany with shilling. But for my habit of
observation, you see, | might have remained
out doors all night for nothing would have
induced me to have called you up-my char
racter being, as you know, independent to a
fault"
Dick never occupied our Spare Room again
we had had enough of his habit ofobservation
and independence of character as well as of
Aunt Berthas spiritual despotism We did
not indeed sell off the furniture of that unfor-
tunate apartment which was always leading
us into so much trouble and expense; but
we did holder thing still-we invited Uncle
Trotter to come and live with us.
Uncle Trottcr was perhaps.oue of the most
disagreeable persons alive, and was very sim
cerely abhorred by every member of his fam
lily, as well as by his relations by marriage,
including Mivins himself; but at the same
hn t1,-, +oJ
His wealth was said to be untold, and his con-
stitutiOn was thought to be not worth years
purchase. This latter notion was altogether
delusive, for various members of the family
had already welcomed him to their hearths
and homes, and he had lived with them gratis
for considerable periods, only to leave them,
not in a hearse, but in huff, for some other
rival relative, whose speculation was doomed
IN its turn to turn out quite as unfortunately
Besides his own intrinsic demerits there was
this additional disadvantage in entertaining
the old gentleman, that it placed you at dag
gers drawn with everybody else who had any
expectations from him. "See how those
crafty Mivinses have got hold of dear Uncle
Trotter," was the general remark in the fami-
ly, | know, directly he came to Vandeleur
Terrace; and this feeling was especially 70,
mented by Cousin Graspall from whom we
bore him away almost at his last gasp, as they
affirmed, and just when they were about to
reap, in his will, the harvest of many months
OF servility and inconvenient hypocrisy He
came to US, however, Immediately upon our
invitation, without repaying them a shilling
for all the expense that he had been to them,
and with number of handsome presents that
these miserable people had bestowed upon
him at different times unknown to one anoth-
frs frnr fhn old IL
which it must heve made their hearts ache to
purchase a walking stick with gold handle
from the elder son; a snuff-boX from the
younger; a Wordsworth elegantly bound "a
pig would have been better pleased with
pearD from one of the young ladies; and
even box of pills. with pious hope thai
they would do dearest uncle good" from the
very smallest Graspall.
What | disliked most in the old gentleman
was his chuckling over these presents, and
turning into ridicule their unfortunate donors;
but besides his behavior in this respect, Uncle
Trotter was quite unbearable. In the first
place, his habits were SO unpleasant that
rather than have him live with US, | would
have preferred that Consin Dicks terrier
should have occupied our Spare Room for a
permanency, and even brought up there that
family OF puppies for whose arrival | was in
asonlsed expectation throughout her stay
Then the trouble he gave US was something
incredible; the Spare Room bell was ALWAYS
ringing, and meals being eaten there at all
hours except those at which the rest of the
household were accustomed to take them He
smoked increasingly, too, and upon one occa
sion threatened to light his pipe with the fiv-
catcher, because lucifers were brought to him
for that purpose in place of wax-lights. An
Angel in the House, as life-boarder, would,