White Cloud Kansas chief. [volume] (White Cloud, Kan.) 1857-1872, 1864-05-05


shysters are as necessary to the body po-
litic. as boils to the body corporal. or
flies in the insect world. Insects con-
sumo filth that would otherwise produce
pestilence boils bring corruption out Of
the system. and prevent disease hum
bugs and shysters concentrate the depray.
ity and meanness Of human mature, that
would otherwise spread and infect -ths
masses. But when . man is afflicted
with sboil the size Of goose-egg. on
the most prominent part Of his sitting
down apparatus. he feels that it is too
much Of . good thing. FMsnbject ~of
this article is just such boil on the body
polite. He is humbug and . shyster
overdone. The name at the heading of
this article. was the original one given to
the individual in question. But having
become an exile from his native country
for opinions sake-for entertaining and
acting upon the opinion that q man is
under no moral obligation to possess even
a spark of principle. or to regard his
word of honor-he found it convenient
at the same time to change his name.
He has been known, during his varied
residence in Kansas, as Watson Foster,
with the handls professor" to his name.
It should be Pretender."
We first heard OF him in Lyon Coun-
ty. blatant friend Of the interests of that
County. and a candidate for the Legisls-
ture. But the people either did not ap-
preciate his merits, or loved him SO well
that they did not want him to leave their
sight; for they decided to keep him at
home. The next year. his peregrinations
had taken him to Douglas County. where
he made another race for the Legislature.
Being comparative stranger, they had
not learned to love him as the people Of
Lyon County had, and they elected him.
In the Legislature. his main effort was
on the University bill. pending which. he
took out his spite upon Emporia. for
sighting his merits Soon after the ad-
journment Of the Legislature. Peregrine
again resumed his travels. and next came
to a halt in Leavenworth County, and
employed last Summer and Fall in Civ
ing lectures on Chemistry. There may
be seen posted up in the principal towns
of the State. large sheet bearing figures
resembling tumble-bug balls Of many
colors, after the style of Easter eggs
More probably it would be taken. for the
advertisement of q manufacturer of bill
lard balls. were not the precaution taken
to notify the public. in, large letters. that
it was &" Fosters Chemical Chart"
Again, at the opening Of the late ses-
sion Of the Legislature. the first two men
whom the members stumbled over, after
reaching Topeka, were Professor Adair
and Professor" Foster-the first, wish
ing to introduce his system of Phonotopy;
the second, anxious for geological sur
vey Of the State. But we beg Adair's
pardon for associa.ing him in this con-
nection. He was a monomaniac, but
honest and earnest while his fellow bore
was an unprincipled shyster. seeking to
rob the State. by undertaking work for
which he was totally incompetent. By
the help Of Foster. the geological bill was
started, and he felt that he had q sure
thing Of it. He bored the members in.
cessantly. We remember with, what
fatherly kindness he button. .holed Us ont
into the street, one clear but singing cold
night. to give us lessons in. Astronomy.
He pointed out the Pleiades or Seven
Stars, the Belt of Orion or :" Rake. )" the
Great Bear or "Dipper," the North Star.
the red star Aldebaran. or the eye Of the
Bull. Sirius the Dog Star, Betelguese.
and all the rest Of the considerations, fixed
stars and planets and he even pointed
cut peculiar brightness in the western
horizon, which he said was caused by
matter that was constantly escaping from
the sun, and which would in short time,
(say couple hundred millions of years, }
collect into a solid "gob," and form
another planet. Aem.-We hereby no.
tify scientific men Of a couple hundred
millions Of years hence, tha. the name of
that planet. when once complstsd, is. to
be Peregrine shyster.] Then be alluded
to the Importance Of the geological bill,
and intimatsd that he would regard it a.
q particular personal favor. If we would
support the bill, as be was to be State
Geologist. He wound up by hoping the
Legislature would elect Senator, and
put the finishing, licks upon the corrupt
demagogue. Jim Lans--,in fact. wac ter
ribly bitter against Lane and oil his tools. |
We listened patiently. but couldn't see |
it-that il, we saw the North STAR: and
Sirics, and oAldebsran. and Bstelguess, |
and the stuff out Of which the new planet |
p.ro~r;ns Shvef., ne. - L. e.1