The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Stroudsburg, Pa.) 1853-1911, 1864-04-14
A GAY GUARDIAN OF THE CITYS
MORALS.
Beau Hackett in the Capacity of Po-
llceman.
From the Chicago Post. /

last four weeks. | am on the SINUS
now entirely. An editor of little papc
in a town ''out West" few hundred
miles east of Chicago, characterized me
as "man of a powerful frame and enor
nous muscle" | know where and how
he got that impression. He met me IN
restaurant, when he was visiting the city
and was eating oysters in the half shell
He thought they were mussels, and took
it for granted that if was not a man OF
muscle then, | soon would be.
But the report came back on me. The
opinions of the country editor reached
the city, and forthwith | was waited up
on by large delegation of respectable
gentlemen, and entreated by them to take
a position on the police force. They said
men of muscle were just the men they
needed All the policemen in the city
were pigmies, and few strong, hale,
hearty men were wanted immediately
accepted a position-Obtained 1t upon
the recommendation Of the respectable
delegation, and learned few minutes af-
ter was appointed that the salary was
only twelve dollars week.
| offered 20 resign at once, but was in
formed that my resignation would not be
accepted Twelve dollars week. Oh!
I guess not. No wonder policemen are
pigmies. No wonder they are not men
of muscle. | would like to see any man
buy mnscle for twelve dollars a week in
war times. But | was in for it, aud
when l found that my resignation would
not be accepted, | was determined to be
policeman all over ! paid hundred
dollars 1.-TWO months salary for uni
form, and borrowed star from man
who had more than he wanted. | felt
proud the first time | appeared in public
attired in my new suit. 1t was so funny
to see little boys and small men skedad-
die as [ walked along the streets.
Captain Nelson asked ME what beat L
would like to go on the first night, mere
ly to become acquainted with the busi
ness. I told him if it would suit all par
ties concerned. I would prefer going on
the ''dead beat" He replied partly that
had been on that ever since he first
knew me, and he thought a change would
agree with me. admitted that change
would agree with me, but told him [
thought | would never be troubled with
much Of it on a salary of twelve dollars
week
The subject was pressed upon me, and
I had better be placed upon Sherman
street the first night as 1t was rather
thinly populated, and | had been told
that many of the inhabitants could be
easily captured. The captain dissented
said he thought that was not suitable
street for me. lie was in a quandary
where to put me. A jealous policeman
suggested the propriety Of putting me
out, which suggestion was unhecded-
Finally, / was assigned beat that can
not be described by the mere mention Of
municipal localities. was permitted to
20 where l pleased, and required to ar
rest all trespassers and peace-breakers
aud law breakers and head breakers,
wherever found them, | made an arrest
in less than half an hour, and parOlei the
prisoner. | went into the police court,
however, and entered complaint.
"Who is the accused?" inquired the
judge.
"a lady" said I, and gave her name.
"What is the charger
"Resisting an officer"
Estate the particulars ?"
II tried to kiss her aud she wouldn't
let me-" was my brave response.
The Judge told me had better retire,
and also informed me if / came there
with another such a charge he would
have me stripped of my office. This was
encouraging. Twelve dollars week and
not allowed to arrest ladies for resisting
me. / proposed to resign. Was in
formed again that my resignation would
not be accepted The city has got
sweet thing on policemen at twelve dol
lars week, and it means to cling to eve
ry one of them like hired man.
| next took position at a popular
street crossing, and escorted ladies
through the masses Of carriages, drays
and express wagons. | had gay time
gallanting the Rosas, and Annies, and
Marys, and Julias, and Pollies, and be-
gan to think that being policeman was
not so bad after all. Twelve dollars
week increased in my Imagination, and
SO did the demands on my purse for the
payment of unsettled accounts. was
vexed by one phenomenon that | OBJ
served at the street crossing. Pretty wo-
men crossed quicker than streak of
chain lightning, while the homely ones
required about an hour, and froze to me
at that, sometimes taking my arm in both
hands. Mercy! how affectionate home
ly woman can be-to policeman.
| left the crossing and strolled about
miscellaneously. | avoided all places
where strong men were congregated. |
was afraid row might take place among
them, and / was constitutionally opposed
to arresting strong men. l was begin
ming to feel the effects of twelve dollars a
week. My muscle was leaving me rapid
Iy, without any promise of its ever re-
.; T,valua dollars week is no IN