The daily register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1863-1864, 1864-04-01
All Sorts of Paragraphs.

All Sorts of Paragraphs.
A NEW comic paper, The Noon, is about
starting at New York.
WHAT tonic beverage agrees best with a
young lady? Kissing-'er, probably.
The rebels don't like to say much about
their disasters. 1t isn't pleasant to reca
ptulate.
The tons of sugar-plumbs thrown about
Naples during the carnival, cost ten thou
sand dollars.
WHAT kind Of music does the kettle give
out just before it begins to boill The mu-
sic Of dull-smUer,
New YORK city has a church for every
three thousand inhabitants, and GROCERY
for every one hundred.
The Jaw bone of an sss has done more
destruction in this country than it ever did
10 the hands of Sampson.
TIE great difficulty with Attic steam
voyagers seem to be to keep themselves
warm and their ships coaled.
A MAN was convicted Of blasphemy in a
town in Canada recently, and sentenced to
three months imprisonment at hard labor,
and to pay fine of five dollars.
AN enthusiastic member defines the Fe-
Man Brotherhood as an organization to
place Ireland among the nations Of the earth
by th, help of God and gunpowder.
DR.. JALEN REDMAN COKE, distin guished
physician. died IN Philadelphia on Wed
nesday, at the age of nienty uDe. He was
the first to introduce vaccination in that
city.
The story is Told of the soldiers OF the
Army of the Gull, that after using their
coffee, they spread the grounds on rubber
blankets to dry, and then sell 1t to Secesh
citizens at 81 per pound.
A COUNTRY editor living on the line OF
a railroad, sent to the Superintendent of
the road for a pass for himself, and added,
please embrace my wife" The Superin
tie ndent returned pass to the editor, but
declined the proposed honor.
WANTED TO QUIT.-A Detroit cavalry
Captain was astounded few days since,
when one of bis new recruits walked up to
him and declared that soldering was raj her
disagreeable, and that said recruit, being
female, would quit the business.
A WEALTHY but ignorant farmer, in re-
cent town meeting not far from Bridge
port, Ct, moved with great dignity that
this meeting do now adjourn, 'ipse dirit."-
The motion was amended by adding "E
PturaJus Unum," which was unanimously
carried.
The President has psrdoned Tickle, who
plotted General Lee into Pennsylvania, mis-
friends swearing that he is an idiot
and Vangster, New York soldier, sentenc
ed to death for sleeping on guard, because
il was proved that be was tired at the time
and generally good soldier.
SEyER,L refugees from Rockighmam
county, Va, have just arrived at Harris
hurg, Pennsylvania. They left early in
February, and, after much suffering, sue
cceded in passing the rebel pickets and get
ing into our lines. For several consecutive
nights they camped in the w"ods without
shelter or food.
THE Boston Posts Quilp says that among
the minor evils of the war must be reckon
ed a vast amount of bad poetry. Very
poor and very patriotic will serve to de-
scribe nearly all that has been written about
the great rebellion Though Minerva, the
goddess Of literature, and Belona, the god
dess Of war, are the same person, the two
arts do not seem to flourish together
A WESTERN soldier returned after an ab
sence of two years and found his wife living
with another man to whom she had been
married some months repre- senting to him
that she had never been married before, and
to those who knew her that her husband
was dead. The first and second husbands
calmly talked the matter over and then left
the false one to inveigle another husband if
she could
A GENTLEMAN has recently presented the
Long Island Historical Society with pane
Of glass upon which was written with
a diamond, by celebrated preacher
the Reverend George Whitfield. the
words:
"One Thing is needfal'
The pane on which the inscription was
written in l765, was in the house Of Mr..
Thomas Tanning, Of Soathold.
'PuTrING your foot in it, it seems, is a
tenn of legitimate origin. According to