The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1864-08-11
TIPTON, IOWA, AUGUST II, 1864.

Inever meddlc with my wifes things
She may wear muslin from Greenland's
10y mountains, and bombaseen from In
Tvs coral strands, If she wants to; but
Pm glad to state that superior woman
has peeled off all her furrin clothes and
iumpt in,o fabrics Of domestic manufac
ture.
But, says some folks, if you stop i'm.
portin' things, you stop the Reveroo -
That's all right. We can stand it, IT the
Revenoo cab. On the same principle
young men should continer to get drunk
on French brandy and to make their liv
ers as dr., as a coru cob with Cuby cigars
because 4 sooth If they don't it will hurt
the Kevcuoo This talk bout the Reve
moo is Of the bosh, boshy. Oue thing is
.orbly cer,ain-if we don't send gold
out Of the country we shall have the con,
ISOLATION of knowing that it is in the
country. So say great credit is doc
the wimmin for this patriotic move-and
to tell the trooth, the wimio generally
know what they're bout. OF all the
blessens they the soothinest 1fthere'd
never bin any wimin, where would my
children be to-day?
But hope this move will lead to other
moves that ar just as much needed, one
of which is a general and therrer curtale
ment Of expenses all round. The fact is,
We air gettin' terribly extravasant, aud
onless we paws in our mad career, in less
than two years the GOODIES of liberty will
be seen dodgin' into a Pawn Brokers'
shop with the other gown done up in
! buudl, even if she don't have to Spout
! the stars in her head band. Let US all
take hold jiutly, and live and dress cent
sibly; like our forefathers, who know'd
morau we do, if they want quite SO hon.
est! (Suttle goaketh.)
There air other cheerin' signs. We
don't, for instuns, lack great Gen rails,
and we sertinly don't lack brave sojers
but there's one thing wish we did
lack, and that is our present Congress.
vcntur to say that if you sarch God.
dlcmity's footstool all over with a ten hoss
power mikriscopc, you wont be able to
fpd such another set Of poppycock CAB
blers as the present Congress Of the U.
States of America.
Gentlemen of the SENT & of the House,
you've sot there aud draw'd your pay and
made summer complaint speeches long
enuff The country at large, incloodIn'
Il G undersigned, is disgusted with you
Why don't you show US a statesman
sumbody who can make aspeech that will
hit the poplar hart right under the Great
Public weskit? Why don't you show us
a statesman who can rise up to the Emer.
gcpcy. and cave in the Emcrgency's headi
Congress, you wont do. Go hcme; you
miserable devils-5o ho:nes
, At a special Congressional lection il
my district the other day, | b'ritely
voted for Henry Clay. ! admit tha
Henry is dead, but inasmuch as we don
seem to have live statesman 10 our Ma
tioual Congress, let US by all means have
first class corpse.
Them who think that a cane made from
the timbers Of the house once boarded
in is essenshal to their happin ess, should
not delay about sendin' the money right
on for one.
Aud now, with genuine hurrar fol
the wimen who air goin' to abandon fur
rim goods, and another for the patriotic
everywhere, III leave public matters anc
indulge in a little pleasant family gossip
Ny reported capture by the North A
mcrcan savijis Of Utah, led my wide cir
Gle Of friends and creditors TO think tha
| had bid adoo to earthly things, and wal
an angel playin' on a golden harp. Hent'
my rival home was unexpected.
1t was | in the evening when l reach
) cd my hosnestd and knockt healthy
knock on the door thereof.
A night cap ,hrustcd itself out Of thu
, front chamber winder (lt was my Bet
: sy's night cay } And voice sed
"W no is it?'
ut is mar.' l answered in a grut
vols.
; II don't b'leve it..' she scd.
"Then come down and search me-"
replied
Then, resumin my nat'ral vols, | said
"it is your own A. w, Betsy. Sweet la
dy, wakv. Ever Of ,hon.'
"Oh," she SD, otis you, is it?
thought l smelt something
But the cd girl was Had to see me
, In tho mornin' found that my tamil
, we're entertaiuin' a artist from Philadel
, ply, who was there paintin' some start
lin waterfalls and mountains, and mori
suspected he had hankerin for my old
-. est dauter.
, Mr. Skimmerhorn, father said m
. dauter.
: Glad to see you, sir" replied iu
: hostit,le vols; "eiad to see you, SIR"
ale is an artist, father" se1 my child
j., ga whichist?"
. "An artist--a painter"
"h glazier?" | askt. care you pain
a ter aud ylazicr, eh?"
, My dsuter and wife was mad, but
, couldn't help it. | felt in a comikil mood
at is wonder to me, SIR said tn
artist, "considerin' what vide sprea
reputation you have, that some of on
Eastern managers don't secure you y
''I:'s wonder to me-" said my wife
f 'that somebody kon't secure him with