The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1864-08-06
A. Wards Opinion on Matters and Things
-t -a-. '-- Generally.

A. Wards Opinion on NJ atters and Things
-"-- '-- Generally.
The stoodent and connyseer must have
noticed and admired in varis parts of the
United States of America large yeller han
bills, which not only air gems of art in
theireelves, but they troothfully sit forth
tie attractions Of my shoW-a show, let me
here obsarve, that contains many livin' wild
animals, every one of which has got beau
tfm Moral.
Them handbills is sculpt in New York
&, 1 annoolly repair here 10 git some
mere on 'um;
d, bein' here, tho't id issoo address
TO the puplic on matters and things.
Since last Deyandered these streets,
have bin all over the Pacific Slopes and
Utah. I cum back now, with my virtoo
unimpared, but I've got to git some new
clothes.
Many changes has taken place even dur
in nv short absence, d sum on UNI is Sol
lum to contemplate. The house in Yer
week street, where / used to Board, is bein
torn down. That house, which was rem
dered memorable by Twin into it, is '.par-
SIM away parsin away y But some of
the timbeIs will be made into canes, which
Wilfbe soldrto my admirers at the low price
of one dollar each. Thus is changes goin'
ou,continerly. In the New World it is
WARM the Old World Empires is totterin'
q Dysentaries is crumblin. These canes
is cheap at dollar.
Sammy Booth, Duane street, sculps my
handbils, & he's srtist. He studied in
.Rome-State of New York.
I'm here to read the proof-sheets of my
handbills as fast as they're sculpt. You
have to watch these ere printers pretty
close, for they're jest as apt to spell Wurd
rong as anyhow.
But l have time to look round sum &
how do frd things ? l return to the A.
lantic States after absence of ten months,
& what State do l find the country in :?
WHY I don't know what State l find it in.
Suffice it to say that l do not find it in the
State of New Jersey.
Ifind some things that is cheerin, par
tic'ly the resolve on the part of the wimin
of America to stop wearn' furrin goods.
1 never NEEDLE with my wifes things.
She may wear muslin from Greenlands icy
mountains and bombaEeen from Injy's
coral strands, If she wants to /; but I'm glad,
to state that superior woman has peeled off
all her Turin clothes and jumpt into fabrics
of domestic manufacture.
But, says some folks, if you stop import
inSthings, you stop the Revenoo. That's
all right. We can stand it if the Revenoo
can. On the same principle young men
should continer to get drunk on French
brady and to make their lvers as dry as
corn cob with Cuby cigars because sooth
if they don't it will hurt the ReYenoo.
This talk bout the Revenoo is of the bosh,
bosby. One thing is toPbly certain-if we
don't send gold out of the country we shall
have the consolation of knowing that it is
in the country. So I say great credit is
doc the wimin for this patriotic move-and
to tell the trooth, the wimin' generally
know what they're bout. Ofall the bless
ems they're the soothinest. If Ihere'd new
er bin any wimin, where would my chill
dren be to-day
But l hope this move will lead to other
moves that air just as much needed, one Of
which is genral and therer curtainment
of expenses all round. The fact IS, we air
gettin terribly extravagant, 81 onless we
paws inrour mad career, in less than two
years the goddess of liberty will be seen
dodgin' into Pawn Brokers' shop with the
other gown done up in bundle, even if she
don't have to Spout the gold stars in her
head band. Let US all take hold Unity,
and live and dress centsible; like our fore
fathers, who know'd moren we do, if they
want. quite so honest (Suule goaketh. }
There air other cheerin signs. We don't
for instuns. lack great Gen rails, and we
sertnly don't lack brave soGers-but there's
one thingI wish we did lack, aud that is
our present Congress.
.Iyentur to say that if you sarch Goddle-
mily,s footstool all over with ten boss
power mikriscope, you won't be able to
find such another pack of poppycock CAB
blers as the present Congress of the United
States of America.
Gentlemen of the SENT & of the House,
you've sOt there and draw'd your pay and
made summer complaint speeches long
enuff. The country at large, incloodin the
undersigned, is Disguised with you Why
don't you show US statesman-somebody
who can make speech that will hit the
pop'lar-h: TT right under the Great Public
weskit? Why don't you show us states
ment who can rise up to the Emergency
and cave in the Emergency's head
Congress you won't do. Go home, you
vulnerable devils-go home
AT especial Congressional lection in nv
distriet the other day, / delib'ritly voted
for Henry Clay. admit that Henry j:
dead, but inasmuch as we don't seem L
have a live statesman in our National Con
gress. let us by all means have first class
corpse IS. ar
Them who think that cane made from
the timbers of the house once boarded il
is essenshal TO their happiness, should no
delay about ssndiu' the money right on 70
one. si -e
Ahd now, with genuine hurrar for th
wimen who air goiu' to abandon furril