The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1864-01-19
MISCELLANY.
Humorous PLAY upon Words.

A writer in the \. Y. Evening Post, III an ar
ticle ON the .'Play upon Words gives the fol-
lowing illustrations in the humorous vein:
An individuals told of as doing business in
one of the markets, who, = down low, on custome!s
who don't speak properly. What's eggs this
morn;no,', saws customer Eggs, of course
saws the dealer 81 mean how do they gog'
SEQ where?'' 'sSho-i''. says the customer,
getting up his fury, ''what for eggs?" money,
money, SIR or good endorsed credit.' says the
dealer. ''Don't You understand the English
language. sirs'' says the customer. "Not as
YOU mix it and mingle it, don't.' responded
the egg merchant sWhat-is-the--price
dozen = for = your eggs,'' "Ah, now
YOU talk, says the dealer. Sixteen cents per
dozen is the price, sir.'' They traded. But it
appears that another customer , who, on asking
..what's eggs this morning. was answered
sseggs of course responded, 'well, I'm glad
OF that, for the last | got of You were half
chickens
Dutchman had two pgs-a large one and a
small one The smallest being the Oldest, he
was trying to explain to a customer and did It
in this wise: s.The little pig is the biggest.
Upon which his yrow, assuming to correct HIM,
said. ssYou will excuse him, he no speak as good
English MS me-he no means the little Pig Il the
biggest, hut te youngest little pig Is te Oldest
In Dutch translation of Addison Cato the
words. ssPlato, thou reasonest well,'' are rem
dered ''Just so-you are very right, Mynheer
Plato
.sThe dear little things said an old nurse of
her MISTRESS twin children; "one looks so
much like both, you can't tell t'other from
which,
The contradictions of pronunciation in the
termination .'ough'' are amusingly displayed
in the following lines:
'sWife, make me some dumplings OF dough,
There better than meat for my coushl
Pray let them be boiled till hot through
n..tx - kax-4~. laot nrf NIlO
Now Unjust be Off 10 the plough,
And the boys (shen they've had enough
Must keep the flies of with bongh
While the old mare drinks at the trough"
A report of a prize fight must be very inter-
esting thing for a foreigner TO translate. very
simple report of fight, in which some game"
individual mounted the ladder of fame from the
area of the prize ring by certain number of
rounds tells us that the combatants struck
each other with mawleys and punches of fves
upon the head the nut. the cone, the conk, the
canister, the noodle, the mug. the knowledge
boz; the nose, the sneezer, the snorer, the snuff
er, the snuif-tray, the nozzle, the hazard; the
eyes, the ogges, the optics, the peppers; the
mouth the kisser, the whistler, the Grafton trap:
drawing the blood, the claret, the ruby, the
crimson. the home-brewed, the gravy; and in
several instances knocking the unfortunate
knocker off his pins, his pegs, his stumps and
his foundation, to say nothing of boring,
fibbing and sending him to grass. Who wants
the Belt?
relies on his dictionary, to hear the talk of
dead beats, = "small potatoes, few in hill, y
'bully boys "bg things" and things that
one cant see The initials 80. X which
mean "0ll Korrect,'' are at least twenty years
old