davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

\ CUTE WDow.-It is related that a man
on his talh bed called his wife to him and
said
i leave my horse to my parents sell him
and hand the money you get over TO them. But
my dog leave TO you dispose Of him as you
think best
The wife promised tc obey. So, in due timC
after the death '0f her lord, she started out IL
find market for her animals.
How much do you ask for your horse?' in
quired the farmer.
/ cannot sell the horse alone she replied
but will sell the dog and horse at fair prics
for both Give me one hundred dollars for iha
dog ard one dollar for the horse, and we cad
trade on those terms :" and the cute widow
conscientiously paid TO the parents the on|
dollar she received for the horse, and kept ihl
one hundred dollars she received for the doej
with the most perfect compIacency.
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

A WOMAN WITH HoEYs.-The New York
Observer Of the 18th instant contains letter
from its correspondent OF LarDaca, in the Is
land of Cyprus, Turkish dominions) describing
a most remarkabi lltsuS nGfurGe, recently dis
covered there. Ii is nothing less than wo.
man with horns growing out Of her head.
She has one large horn on the side of head Of
the size aud consistency Of an ordinary rams
horn, besides three or four cornicles on other
parts of the head The writer states that he has
seen her, and that she has been visited by
nearly all the consuls and Europeans in that
place, some OF whom are making al effort TO
secure her for exhibition.
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

A CIRCULAR from the San Francisco camp
of the Christian Commission reminds US that
we have never yet published an affecting ac-
count of an interview between chaplain and
an apparently dying soldier left over from a
hot engagement previous to the taking of Rich
mond by Mcclellan and Butler.
Dying Soldier-Me Bible bring il me
Chapain-It works Here, poor, sin sick
soul have one-warranted geuuine-from the
Christian Commission-distrbu for Christ s
sake. What shall read Turn your face
this way that you may hear and be saved.
Turn over snd oblige.
u. S.-Not that one Get me Bible from
me pack Be quick lest 1 die for Liberty
without sufficient cause
Chap-Abl heart-strickeu one your own
Bible, eh Here'r your valise; yes, here art
the Bible, too the gift of some fond female
mother or sister, doubtleSsly-the same which
art now pouring outward and upward prayer
5or thy safety or at least partly thy souls res
cue ah
Hands the sacred document to Dying sol
der and sets in onto a prayer or so. Dying
soldier presses spring in the document which
proves to be one of Flask's calf bound imta
tons, full Of Z fair quality Of old rye. Dying
soldier draws consolation from The volume
and lives. Chaplain, amazed, aud injured in-
to the spirit, moves off to a more seriously
wounded pa t.-Humboldt Register.
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20
THE SUMMONS

Ny ear is full of summer sounds;
OF summer sights nv languid eye;
Beyond the dusty village bounds,
loiter in ny daily rounds,
And in the noon tide shadows lie.
hear the wild bee wind his horn,
The bird swings on the ripened wheat,
The long green lances OF the corn
Are fitting on the winds of morn
The locust shrills his song OF heat.
Another sound my spirit hears
deeper sound that browns them al
A voice Of pleading ehoked with tears,
The call Of human hopes and fears,
The Macedonian cry Of Paul.
The storm-bell rings, the trumpet blows;
know the word and counteIsign;
Wherever freedoms vanguard goes.
Where stand or fall her friends or foes,
l know the place that should be mine.
Shamed be the hands that idly fold,
And lips that WOO the reeds accord,
When laggard Time the hour has toled,
For true with false, and new with Old,
To fght the battles of the Lord.
WHITTIER.
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

UNCLE SANS FARM = The Government
lands-according to an estimate made by the
Corn Planter and Mecbanic-in the United
States Row amount to fourteen hundred thous
and millions of acres. Two millions and half
of acres have already been sold for thirty four
millions of dollars. At one third Of a cent per
acre, the remaining lands would pay off the
whole national war debt though it might be
four thousand FIVE hundred millions of dollars
At ten cents per acre. it would pay of that
debt thirty times over
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

ONCE on time. not long ago, not so far
from Millersburg as it might be. good heart
ed man and his long topgued, style-taking wife
attended a social party. Almost every three
minutes bis wife would check her husband
thus:
Now, William, don't talk so loud -
Come, William, don't lean back in the
chair that way
Now, William don't get noisy over there :,
Say, William. let the girls alone aud sit by
me-"
At last forbearance ceased to De virtue
and the husband who was really piied by all
10 the room. arose and said
Il beg pardon OF the company but as my
wife insists on being boss all the time it is
right she should have these ~
And he deliberately took of his pants. hard
ed them to ber, and sat down in bis boots aud
drawers
The company was as;oDished the women
burst into tears. The happy couple soon went
home, but neither of them wore pants.
How the affair was settled We canno. tell,
but the last time We saw William he bad the
pants on. We are inclined TO think she will
not again boss in company 10 hurry.
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

THE American consul at Bermuda was re-
Gently assaulted by portion of the crew of
the pirate Florida, aided by some of the citi-
zens Of that intensely British city. He was
set upon in his office, and would probably have
been killed, had it not been for the timely
alarm given by boy. 1t has hitherto been
the boast of Englishmen that the persons ot
Foreign Ambassadors and Consuls are sacred
and that the British laws protect them. The
boast can no longer be made. Our represeD-
tatives are insulted under the very nose of the
British lion.
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

LOYAL ISDIAN.-A short time since, the
head of the church, accompanied by a numer-
Gus retinue of Bishops and friends, paid a visit
to Provo City to have talk with the saints
thereabouts As is usual on such occasions.
the faithful turned out in force with flags aud
banners, among which was the well known
Mormon flag of Utah, unique and very pretty
institution, but differing materially from the
National banner. A gentleman who was pres
ent. informs US that about this time some two
hundred Indians came into town, enjoyed the
demonstration hugely. but looked askant at
the Mormon flag luttering alongside the stars
and stripes. Finally, Indian Jim,' Ute
Chief, stepped forward, saluted the American
flag with such commendaton as, good flag,
ugh. - Then turning to the banner of Utah,
he slapped his breast furlously and exclaimed,
mo good-no Connor iag-take it down
Connor flag good ugh" So persistent was
he to anything which was not the simon pure
"Connor flag" as be designated the stars and
stripes, that to satisfy him the Mormon flag was
incontnently taken down, and the American
flag alone futtered in the breeze Union Fe-
dette.
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

A PRINTER on TRAMP.-A Dutclman sit
ting at the door of a tavern out West, is ap-
preached by tall Yankee who is emgrating
westward on foot, with bundle on a cane
over his shoulder.
We'll, Misther Walking Sihick, vat to you
want ?"
Rest and refreshment," is the reply.
"Supper and lochiu, | suppose"
YES, supper and lodging"
"Pe you Yankee peddler, nit jewelry in
your pack TO stheal de girls %
No, sir | am no Yankee peddler.
"A singing masther, too lazy to work.
NO, sir"
"a shenteel shoemaker, vat loves TO meas
ure tie gals foots an ankles peter dan to make
te shoes -
No, sir, or certainly should have mended
my own shoes"
"A book achent, vot bothers the school
gomittees till dey do vat you wish, shoost to
get rid of you ?"
Guess again, sir | am no book agent"
"Te tuyvel! A dentisht, breakin' de beeple's
jaws at dollar schnag ?'
NO, sir am no tooth puller"
Phrenolochist, den, feeling te young folks
head like so many cappdge ?"
1" No, nor phrenoogist.'
well, ten, vot te tuyvel you PEI Shcost
tell, an you shall have tie pest sassage for sup
per und SHAY all night free gratis, without
paying Won cent, an chill of visky TO sthart
nit in lie morning"
Il am humble disciple of Faust-a pro-
fessor of the art preserative of all arts-s typo
grapher at your service"
Watch dat?"
"A printer, sir man that prints books
and newspapers
"A man vot brnts books und newspapers
Oh yaw, yaw, dat ish it-a man vot brnts
newspapers Yaw. yaw; Wish may pc
shot if didn't tink you vas poor tuyvel Of
dishtrict schoolmaster, vot works for nothing
und poards around novare. fought you vas
him. Walk in, walk in, Mr.. Prnterman."
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

Abel StearDs. of Los Angeles county, is
believed to be the largest land and stock owner
in the United States. He owns this year forty
eight thousand head Of cattle, besides nine
thousand calves.
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

The New York correspondent of the Ports
mouth Chronicle was commissioned few days
ago to buy twenty dollar box of cigars, as
present to Gen. Graut from friend 4 note
placed under the lid read General Smoke
10 Richmond A g. P
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

ALrARNED ard ingenius foreigner. hayiu
visited England, and being asked how he like
the English, said: They resemble butt q
their own fayorte beverage ae-frothy at N
top, dregs at the bottom, but the middle pal
excellent"
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

TIE Nevada Gazette perpetrates the follow
ing conundrun Why are the Copperhead
papers. Ike the heir apparent TO the crown Of
crest Britain: Because they are the prints
OF walls.
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

How GENERAL BIRNSV GOT AMMUNITION -
A Petersburg letter has the following Late
fast night, after the redoubtS had been cap
tured, an ammunition wagon, drawn by six
mules was driven Up from the direction Of
Petersburg to i particular point in the chain
OF forHfcatiouS. General Birney. surprised TO
see it come from that direction. asked the
driver what be had in the wagon The answer
was. Ammunition for Battery No. o. Where
did it come iromY inquired the General, sup
posing tba, additional ammunition might have
been sent for some Of the field pieces be had
placed in the breastworks From the arsenal.
sand the driver. oh, very well said Biruoy,
IN take charge Of it, This was the ammuui
ton sent from the city to the rebels but Bir-
ney and some Of Lis troops occupied Battery
No. q"
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

A boy only nine years old is now in the
Ne'ada jail on charge Of horse stealing. He
was caught in the act. aud exhibits all the
hardness of an old hand at the business lie
was arrested in Grass Valley, where his parents
reside. He has for some time been considered
very bad boy, naturally of thievish propon-
sites.
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

A VERY deaf old lady got into state
great excitement during q sermon by VI
Wbitefeld You cannot hear the preached
said friend, "and what, then. is it moves Sd
so?' oh, sir, said the venerable dcvotec. i
is the bobbing of bis blessed wig"
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

IT is stated that good deal Of land abo|
the Roya! Exchange in London. is now wor|
one million FIVE hundred pound, per acre. al
that site in that neigbborhood about the $ |
of a nobleman's drawing room would comma
a ground renta! Of Gl 900 per aunum. eq
to the rental of a thousand acre farm.
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

THE Scientific American states that in III
land cofins from oyer-crowdrd burial grouf
are dug M, dried and ground. and used as
ingredient in the adulteraton Of coffee
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

NocsL NACHISERY or BlRDS 1t is difficult
TO accouu, for so small creature as a bird
making tone as loud as some animal a thous.
aud times lis size but a reccat discovery
shows THAI in birds the luugs bsre several
openings communicating with corresponding
air-blc> or cells which 6ll The whole cavity Of
The body from the neck downward. and into
which the air passes and repaSses in the prog
reSs Of orcafhing. This is no, all. The very
bones are hollow, from which ,be air pipes are
conveyed 10 the most Sold parts Of the body.
even unto the qaIi> aui feathers The sir be-
ing rarifed by the heat OF their body adds to
their levily. BY forcing the air out Of their
body, they can dar; down from The greatest
heights wiki astonishing velocity. No doubt
the same machinery forms the basis Of their vo
cal powers, and at once resolves the mystery
into natural ordering Of parts
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

"Dawkter," said an exquisite the other d
Il want YOU 10 tell me what can put into
head to make it right 1t wants moth
but brains replied the physician.
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

What is the difference between the pre-
war and Mrs. Stoves "Uncle Toms Cabi
o. a mere matter Of sex-ODe is history.
other is Der story.
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

Why is life the riddle OF all riddles3 Because
We must all give il up.
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

George Peabody, Esq. the American bank
er in London, contributed two thousand dol
lars to the Sanitary Commission, but subse
quently, on becoming aware OF the vast opera
tions and usefulness of the institution, Increased
his donation to $4,000 which he transmitted
to the Hon John F. Kennedy Of Baltimore.
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

"TELL HM TO QUlr."-We heard of a
young married couple who recently attended
an exhibition Of "Dissolving Views" The
bride being pretty, attracted the attention OF a
stylish locking city gent who happened to oc-
cupy the same seat with the twain. During
the exhibition, the audience part of the hall
being already obscured by some accident the
light was entirely extiuguished. Pending the
recovery. which occupied some little time, the
city gentleman, [perbaPs accidentally gently
pressed the hand Of the bride, who was too
much alarmed 10 offer resistance. This bold
act WAS followed by bolder, certainly not ac-
cideuta for the city Lotherio absolutely kissed
the bride. This was too much, and the young
wife resolved to tell her husband, which she
did, when the following whispering colloquy
took place:
~Johu?" WHAT" This fellow here's
kissing me-" We'll" said John, who was a
little shy of the citizen, tell him to quit N o
John. you tell him" Tell him yourself
No, John, don't like to; you tell him. The
geuilemans perfect stranger to mel
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

TIE Richmond Enquirer says the rebels
command Petersburg with FIVE hundred guns,
which can sweep the city through and through,
hence its capture by Grant would not amount
TO anything.
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

John Davis who killed John Roberts il May
last, has been sentenced TO be hung in Downie
vile on the thirtieth of next month.
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20
Open Day and Night.

ICE CREAM furnished Families, Balls, Parties
and assemblies OF every nature ST reasonable rates
Having been engaged in the business for the past
fifteen years, he hopes to give general satisfaction
10 all. Meals at all hours, day and night
Jane It'll, 1854. LEWIS CARPENTER.
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20
UNION HOTEL.
Corner Montgomery ~ Myers Street,
o ROv L l. E

rNNHlS NEW BRICK AND ELEG ANTLY FUR
nished Hotel stands first in the State for com
fort and accommodation for the travelling public
every room being well ventilated and neatly fur
nished.
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

STRENGTH FROM ALE.-A student Of an
American State College had a barrel Of ale
deposited in his room-contrary of course to
the rule and usage. he received a summons
TO appear before the President, who said:
Sir. am Informed that you have a barrel
Of ale in your room"
Yes sin
We'll, what explanation can You make"
Why, the fact is sir, my physician advises
me 10 try little each day as tonic, and not
wishing 10 stop at the various places where
The beverage is retaied. concluded to have
barrel taken to my room"
Indeed, And have YOU derived any benefit
from the use of it?''
An, yes, sir. When the barrel was first
taken TO my room could hardly lift ii; now
can oarry it with the greatest case"
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

CHLoRoFoRN is recommended as exec
for seoding wives. 4 husband who has
it SAYS, no family should be without IT,"
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

Good morning, Mr.. EIenpeck have
any daughters that would make good type
ters?"
Not exactly, but have wife that ",
make a first rate devil"
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

THg arms OF 4 pretty girl wound "a
around a fellows neck. have been discoI
to be a speedy add inial,ible remedy o ca5
sore throat-EEciangs.
We've got a terrible sore throat
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

The Eastern papers print "mIscegenation'
thus Miss c. g. Nation.
The gals full name must be Miss Confeder-
ate Guerrilla Nation.
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

1HE quota Of Missouri under the recent
Is full without draft
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

IT is reported that Clark Lwinelle. Of Sierra
Valley, was killed by robbers last week be
tween Virginia and Truckee City, his body
being much mutilated with pistol shots AMI
knives. Being powerful and fearless man.
it seems that be took his chances against a
number of busbwhackors and got the worst OF
the fight
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

W Would you Ike 10 subscribe for Dick
Household Words :. iuquireda a magazine Z
Household WoTf have played the dicA
with me long enough was the feeling rel
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

The saying Of a White Mountain Il
driver 10 New Yorker sitting by bin
'spose il vent 10 New Tork ] should :
around j1si Is you FOLKS DO here vas
bad
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

And We have taken the teei1tsl pledge
vct said somebody % an iri-hmAu. "lul
have and am not ashamed of it aither
did not Paul tell Timothy 20 take iiitie si'
not Timothy and there nothing the matter
my stomach.
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

\ lady who edits paper 10 one q
Western States. slys the popularity of
iuurual Is due to the fact that the people
always expecting her 10 say something
she ought not TO-
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

=
visited England, and being asked how he ii
the English, said: They resemble but
/ their own favorite beverage, ale-frothy at
/ top, dregs at the bottom but the middle !
/ excellent"
A VERY deaf old lady got into stat,
great excitement during a sermon by
Whitefeld. You cannot hear the preach,
said friend, "and what, then. is il moves
so?' "Oh, sir, sand the venerable dcvotec.
is the bobbing of bis blessed wig"
/ IT is stated that good deal Of land ab
the Roya! Exchange in London, Is now VIC
! one million FIVE hundred pound, per acre.
that q site IN that neigbborhood about the
OF noblemaD's 5 drawing room would comm
ground rental Of Ct 900 per annum. ca
to the rental of thousand acre farm.
TIE Scientific American states that in L
land coffins from oyer-crowdrd burial rrou
are dug M. dried and ground and used Us
ingredient in the adulteration Of coffee.
"Dawkter," said an exquisite the other d
Il want YOU 10 tell me what can put into
head to make it right 1t wants moth
but brains, replied the physician.
What is the difference between the pres
war and Mrs. Stoves "Uncle Toms Cabi
O. a mere matter Of sex-One is history.
other Is ber story.
Good morning. Mr.. IIenpeck have
any daughters that would make good type
terS?"
Not exactly, but have a wife that "
make FIRST rate devil"
Would you Ike TO subscribe for Dickl
Household Words !. inquired magazine =
Household WoTf have played the dicA
with me long enough. was the feeling re
\ lady who edits a paper 10 one II
Western States. says the popularity of
iaulual Is due to the fact that the people
always expecting her 10 say something
she ought not to.
And We have taken the teei1tal pledge
yc l' said somebody % an Iri-hmAu. luls
have. and am not ashamed of b. aither.
dld not Paul tell Timothy 20 take a ltfis win
his -tomach's sake .' - BE- 1i1, bat ms 1arI
not Timothy and there is nothing the mltter
my - mach.
The saying Of a White Mountain Il
driver 10 4 New Yorker sitting by BIN
'spose IL vent 10 New iork ] should :.
around inst Is you FOLKS DO here was
bad
Three female smuggl5rs arrested on
Bridge, near Washington. bad twenty
caDteens Of whjskey concealed under tbsr
ticaats
THs arms Of a pretty girl wound 90.
around a fellows neck. have been discoS
to be a speedy aud iulallibie remedy 10 cas-
sore throat.-ETcd1Hgs.
We've got a terrible sore throat
CHLoRoFosN is recommended as exc5
for scoldiDg wives 4 husband who hss
it SAYS, mo family should be without H."
1HE quota Of Missouri under the recent
ls full without draft
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

THREE female smugglers arrested on
Bridge, near Washington. bad twenty
ca0teeus Of whiskey concealed under tbsir
ticaats.
The weekly union record., 1864-08-20

Why are modest people who eat turkeys
ike babies?
Do you give at up, Sal! Cause why, they
are fond of the breast. A. this, whilst middle
aged ladies may faint. married ones may clap
handkerchels to their mouths for the toothache
of course.
East Saginaw courier. (East Saginaw, Mich.) 1859-18??, 1864-04-13

erately from his covert and walking
down to the river began to bathe his
face and head. So intent was he on
this occupation that he did not discov-
er our approach until We asked him
what was the matter.
He looked up, his face all covered
with blood, and after staring at us a
moment, said.
Stranger, nothing is the matter
with me only id redskin has
Clipped my ear triae, but if ever
he does it agin it will be after 1 am
dug under and am food for worms
Just now he lies yonder, with his
head-piece cut clean open and his
scalp-lock spoke for"
1t was indeed true, and as our new
acquaintance was disposed to be hos
pitable we tied up our horse to a
peck Of corn and went in and smiled.
East Saginaw courier. (East Saginaw, Mich.) 1859-18??, 1864-04-13

Oh! what mad, ferocious, yelling
howls He draws back few feet,
shaking his CORY head, and in the
white light Of the moon l perceive l
have broken his jaw, and red stream
is yelling from his breast He reels,
he is faint, but turns 10 seek his re-
venge. There is one barrel yet, no
must have thecontents of that. Now
he crouches / fire--now he
springs. Up he goes and down he
comes, right above my head; and
crash crash rattle whirr! and
house, tiger and man, all come to the
ground together, the living entangled
tn the light framework, vines and
bushes.
The beast growls and founders
but the wan keeps silent and still, and
as the beast becomes still, the man
ventures to move.
Carefully he works his head up
through the rubbish and sees broad
sheet of silvery light streaming calmly
over his dead foe--and thanking
Heaven for what he sees, he draws
his head under, empties bis flask of
brandy, and stretching himself out,
falls asleep, and sleeps soundly till
wakened by the cries Of the natives in
the morning, who fear their master is
dead.
No; it was only the COW and tiger
that died that night. The master you
see, is ready to go back in triumph, to
tell his story, and get native tom
tom-tom serenade for his daring ex-
plot.