The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1864-05-11
HUMOROUS ARTICLES.
"a little nonsense, now and then,
Is rei4shcd BY tie best Of men,"
From the Hancock Democrat
A Missionary in Dr.. Odds New Church
Ordained by Rev. Petroleum v. Nasty.

Last Sunday we had an improvin see
zen. Robert looms Punt who hez bin
q studyin fer the ministry with me fer the
past weaks, was lizenst and ordand-
He is a yooth of much promise. He vo.-
ed Bookanon, and only Is yeers old, swor
in his vote with a coolnes and eggsited
the admirashun Nv the pratriarks at the
biznis l kin safely say that he hez whald
rnoar Ablishnists, busted moar Methodist
brethrin and luther hetrodox churces than
eny Dimocrat NV hiz age in tina staff
He haz brilyunt fucher.
After the usual questions wuz put
him and satisfactory ansered, the congre-
grashen waz dismist, and IN the presents
of the elders and dekuns alone delIyar-
ed the follerin
CHARGE.
Bruthor-Hevin bin regelry ordand, 1T
only remanes fer me tn give 700 wofd
Of concill. 700 air goin into the apos-
sal biZnis at a raythar unfaverable tune.
Man witch is born Nv womnlan hez trupei
fer hiz in inheritcnce-Ive he'd so much
trubel NV it that ef l he'd to du 1t over
agin woodent be born at all.
The politikly hevins is overkast with
portenshus clowds. The litenin Nv ratn
is leapin frum wun tn anuther, whist the
thundar which was at a distuns, now rores
angirly in owr GERS. The ole ship Dim
ocricy liz tossin madly onto the wild
wsiyes, with marry sale sot, MIR seems
open, the water "a furrein elament tu hlr
insides, a russin in. The stiddleSt part
NV hir crue sliced the botes and abandon
cd hir, and the rest NV EN- er htin Ter
the helum.
In the meantime the ole ship IL dashin
past the haven NV destructshen- III 700
Il entrusted part NV the work Nv savin
hir. Let me entreet 700:
I. Avoid the solgers. With them 700
hev nothin in kommon. Wunst party
NV um maid me drink a pint NV water and
take the oath NV allejinse, which outrage
wuz follered by conjestshon NV the STUN
ick and inflamashon of the brane
3 Allus preech agin the Niger. Itz
soothin to a ginooine CONSTITUTIONAL, suth
ern rites dimocrat to be constantly told
that thar liz a rasc NV meaner men than he
liz. Besides its safe-the niger haz no
vote. Eff he had, we mite vary.
B. Allus hev a master. The stats rites
dimocrisy alluz simpathize with man
that's in Basteels fer simpathysen with
tina Sowth, fer nun NV um knoe how sumo
tnalT TURN INA KUN.
4. Preech agin amalgamashen at leest
4 Sundays per munth. A man NV straw
that 700 set up yerself IL eesest nockt
down pcrtikelery eff 700 set him up with
the vieu NV knockin him down.
5. AlluZ deloot yoor whiskey fer new
converts. 1t talks much too convert
Ablishnist, and eff 700 uze the pure ar
tikkle it wood Kill a ordinery constooshen
ofN ha'I hax To wi oh
be aggrevatin.
g. Sarch tina skripters faithfully fer
such passagiz az cuzzed be kanan, ser
vance obay yer masters, and sich.
Z. Lern to rede, or at leest git tina shaip
NV the letters so fixt in yoor mind that
when 700 quote frum a book or noozpa
yer, you will hold it rite side up Eddi-
cashen hez bin CRATE help too me.
8. Lern tn spell and pronounce Misse-
negenashun. It's good word.
The CRATE leding ijees NV our sekt wich
1t liz yoor dooty tn inkulkate IL these
The niger IL ape, Linkin goriller,
Geff Daviz IL a chrischen gentleman, tina
-ebellyun a struggle fer rites, the soljer
\ bloody tool, Ben Butler q bcest, ct set
ira. 700 air never believe in Federal
sictrys, but must allus credit confedsate
sucksesses. l woodent advice 700 0let
voor faith in the Confedricy go SO fur
III talk THAR skrip on yer salery, neether
wood burn grenbacx.
l hev dun. Go my bruther. Let yer
poler star be Dimocrasy, yer rallin kry,
..fTha Yoonyun ez ct wuz-tha Constoo
shon ez it IT, which liz atitoodious, fife
che good fife, and the time will cum, when
you kin lay OFF yer arms, and with ''P.
VI" after yoor Main, enjoy tina repoze
that aiius folders welt directed and wig
gerous etfert.
Bro. Punt started to day fer Suthern
lllinoy, WHARF he haz a congreegashen.
PETROLEUM V. NASBY,
Pastor Nv sed Church, in charge.