North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1863-03-04
What shall do to my boots to get them

Ihut IHey III 80 Ou as SHCh aS grease, Salu He
We'll, our folks had been making soap the
day before, and got some and put about
pint into each boot, and sure enough as Bill
had said they went on as slick as grease
After brushing little was ready and start
ed off for Poleyan.
When | arrived Farmer Flint was sitting
smoking arter supper, and the younger Flnts
were sitting round the table taking theirs
A whappin big pan of mush stood right in
the centre, and Poeyan was helpin the young
sters.
Old Flint took a stare at me and | kinder
shook but the straps stood it and recovered
myself, and gave him as good as he sent, and
| war near the door ard ready to break if he
showed fight; for he did not want his darter
to 20 with me, and knew it too as well as
he. He asked me what wanted ?
Well, purity soon l gathered up and told
him what l come down for, and invited him
to come down and take drink and see that
all went on right. Poleyan was in an awful
way for fear he would not consent. 0 GIN
gerbread how my feet smarted. L thought
| should die, but dasent say word about it.
OF bounded Poleyan up ladder into the
second story and one of the small gals with
her to help put on the fixups sot down in
a cheer aud fell talking with the old wo-
man. And while We were chattin away as
nice as relations, | could hear Poleyan max
ing things stand around above. The floor
was only loose boards scattered over wide
jistes, and every step would make 'em rattle
| like a small hurricane. Old Tom smoked
away, and the young uns at the table would
| hold a spoonful of mush to their mouths and
look at my straps and then look at each 9TH
! er and snigger, till at last the old man seed
| EN-.
We'll by gun fints,' says, he efyou amt
maxim darned josey-'
| Just at that moment something gin way
above, and may be drowned ir frog pond
eff Poieyan, without anything on yearth on
her but one of these skeletons, didn't drop
rite through the flor and sot, skeletons and
all kerchunk fat into the pan Of mush. Ijest
thought for second that heaven and yearth
had come together and squeezed me between
EN-. Poleyan squalled like catamount, a
spot Of the mush had spattered on the old
mans face and burnt him and he swore like a
pirate, snatched up pan of milk and dash
ed over Poleyan to cool her off, the old wo-
man knocked Inc sprawlin for doin it, and
away went my straps. The young uns let
out scream as if the infarnal pit had broke
loose, and I'd jest gin hafmy hide and part
| of nv trousers to have been out Of the old
mans reach. He did reach for me, but lent
him one with nv highlows on the smeller
that spread him, and maybe l didn't leave
sudden.
din't know for spell whar was running,
but hearing nothing behind me, Stacked up
| and Jest considered whether it wur best for
me to 90 home and get my straps strait and
leave or go and see the ball. didn't consid
er long, for | heard old Toms teeth grit, so
started. l didn't stop till | was looking
| through the window to see ef it cum up to
my expectations. While was looking at the
boys going it, one of 'em spide me and hauled
me in and stood me afore the i:e to dry, and
all hands got around to know what what was
the matter. ups and tells all bout it, and
| never heerd such lafiin, hollerin' and scream
in in all my lie.
Jest then my trousers gin to feel the fire
and shrink up bout an inch mint, and the
boys and gals kept it so strong latin at my
scrape and the pickle was in that gin to
cit rily, whom all at onst seed one smart
lookin chap hollerin' wus than the loudest.
'Old Tom said he'd chaw you up, did he
said the smart-lookin chap; well he always
keeps his word
That minnlt billed over grabbed his
slick har and maybe didn't give him scissors
Jest as was making him chawed specimen
some feller hollered out.
Don't let old Tom in with that ar rife:
l didn't hear any more in that house, light
min couldn't a got near enough to SINCE my
coat tails, jumped through the window as c
bar nd go through cane brake, ard blow
me ifI couldn't hear the grit of old Tom
Flint's teeth and smell his powder till land
ed ONE. went in and struck light, cause
the folks was all off to bed, so tried to get
my boots off after working about an hour
got EN- off, by cutting big hole in each of 'em
and made up my mind to never court old Tom
Fhnt's daughter. After that was laid UP
| obout th,ee weeks with nv feet the skin
wur took clean off of them, besides spin a
bran new pair of trousers and my boots. So
ended my first and last courtship.