davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30
MISCELLANY.

WITTY IRISH SoLDIER.--There is pri-
vate in the New York 18th, on Morris Island,
named Miles OReilly, who is a genuine Irish
wit He lately wrote some sarcastic poetry
on military matters there, which was not con-
sdered quite respectful to his superiors, and
he was put under arrest. He Immediately
sent poetic petition to Secretary Stanton,
which the President saw and was so much
amused with il that he sent him free pardon.
The concluding portion of Paddy Okelliys
petition is as follows:
Och, stanton, our great god o. war,
NY condition in pity now see
An If you have any bowels TO milt
Let Your bowels be milted for me,
For come of the dacintest people
In the beautiful town of Thralee
Where praties and whisky plenty,
IAN, the diyi resayve the provost marshal we
have there. at all at all, though have "pcnlers"
possiblel-
An they bow both heart an knee
To the grim ould Admiral
A type of the ould time!
God be good to you Misther Stanton,
An to the man with Methusalehs beard
An the patrarchal face
Il name ould Uncle Gideon,l s
Jist ak him TO show grace,
For which will, as in duty bound
Ifhe gets me out of this place
Do for him an for you all that ever can
(yotin' airly an voin often for yez both, or for
aither ofyez, fever yez happens TO be candidates
E in any dsthrick or country where can get within
ten rods the baliot-box.
An now my name thrace-
Miles o'Reilly, who wrote the Admiral,
An is having hard ould time.
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30
BUT ALL oUACKs ARE NorICNoRANT.


Two THE LADIES. The celebrated DR. l.
Il DIX particularly Invites all ladies who need a
Medical or Surgical adviser TO call at his Rooms n o.
81 Endicott street, Boston, Mass, which they will
find arranged for their special accommodation.
Dir. DIX having devoted over twenty years 10 this
particular branch of the treatment of all diseases Pc
culiar TO females il Is conceded by all tbotk in
this country and in Europe) that he exccs all other
known practitioners in the safe speedy and eectual
treatment of all female complaints.
His medicines are prepared with the express pur-
pose of removing all diseases such debility weak.
ness unnatural suppressions, eniargemeuts of the
womb, also. all discharges which flow from morbid
state of the blood. The Doctor is fully prepared
TO treat in his pecuarst both medically and sur
gically, all diseases of the female SEX and they are
respectfully invited to call at
No. 81 EndicOtt Street, Boston.
Allletters requiring advice must contain one dol
lar to ensure an answer.
Boston, Jan. l. 1868 cody
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30

20 place hunter in Prussia having aske d
Frederick the Great for the grant of some
rich Protestant bishopric, the king expressed
his regrets that it was already given away
but broadly limited that there was Catholic
abbacy at his disposal. The applicant man
aged to be converted in week, and to be re-
ceived into the bosom church, after which he
fastened to his friend the king, and told him
how his conscience had been enlightened. "Ah
exclaimed Frederick, 'how terrible unlortu-
nate! have given away the abbacy. But
the chief rabbi is just dead, and the synago-
que is at my disposal: suppose you turn
Jew?"
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30
M-ARIN e
Railway Chains and Track Irons

nNHE undersigned has been appointed Agent for
IL the sale of Marine Railway and other Chains
in the United States and British North America,
uiactured by HENRY WooD Co., of Liverpool
Great Britain and is Low prepared TO receive orders
for Marine Railway Chains, made TO order and Ia
pattern, with the Sprocket wheel TO MATCH and war
ranted TO lit. These chains are made of an iron PEE
culiary suited to this purpose which, by actual test
shows its average breaking strain TO be SO tons per
inch of sectional area Parties wishing good and
service.
Marine Railway Track Irons are drilled with the
countersunk holes and the Bolts TO match also,
Spikes of all kinds Screw Bolts, Lag Screws, and all
kinds of forging done TO order and of quality and
quantity to suit.
Mr.. &. feels confident he can supply the above ar.
tices on as favorable terms as can be obtained else.
where. Address H0RACEI. CRANDALL,
Submarine Engineer
janl0 'ogdlswlys NEW BEDFORD, Maze
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30
NEW FUNERAL CAR.

FlNhIE subscriber most respectfully bcgs leave TO in
l. form the citizens of Portland and vicinity that
lie has been appointed an undertaken, with all tho
legal rights and privileges to bury or remove the
dead that the superintendent has, and is ready
to attend to that duty In the most careful manner.
have a new FUNERAL CAR, such as is used al
most entirely in Boston, New York and other large
cities, which propose 10 vi the funerals attend
as undertaken, at the same price that other under
takers charge for the city hearse and nothing extra
from the Old price The poor always literally con-
sidercd by JAS. NJ CURRIER,
Sexton of Rev. DIR. Shaers Church.
~ RESIDENCE No. CHAPEL STREET. jy23 dom
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30
Portland an Boston Line
SEMI-wEEKLY LINE.

The splendid and fast Steamships
Eds CHESAPEAKE" Capt. WILLETT
~l~E4rand "P0ToMAO." Captain snEE.
zxS WOOD, will until further notice run
as follows:
Leave Browns Wharf, Portland. every wEDNES-
DAY, and SATURDAY, att L. NJ, and leave Pier
North River, New York, every WEDNESDAY
and SATURDAY at 3o'clock, I. NJ.
Ihese vessels are fitted up with fine accommodations
for passengers making this the most speedy safe and
comfortable route for travellers between New York
Rooms.
Goods forwarded by this line to and from Montreal,
Quebec, Bangor Bath, Augusta, Eastport and St.
John.
Shippers are requested TO send their freight to the
steamers asearly as 7. NJ, on the day that thep
leave Portland.
For freight or passage apply to
EMERY FOX, Browns Wharf, Portland
III. d. CROMWELL CO., No. SO West Street,
New York.
Dec. 8. 1852. diff
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30

n-"How much to publish this death ?''
asked customer of newspaper Office in New
York. "Four shillings." "Why, / paid but
two shilings the last time published one,
THAT was common death; but this is sin
cerely regretted" 81 tell you what" said the
applicant, "your executors will not be put to
that expense"
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30

I sH-0De who has tried it says: "To reduce
the Temperature of the dining room, bring
friend home TO tea some afternoon when your
wife wishes "to fix early" to go to the opera.
The coolness with which yourself and friend
will be received will give relrigeraiing tone
through the whole house. The receipt is
warranted TO cure.
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30

SOLDIERS DAILY PRAYER Our father
who art in Washington; Uncle Abraham be
thy name thy victory won thy will be done
at the South as at the North; give us this day
our daily rations of crackers and pork, and
forgive us our short comings as we forgive
our Quartermaster; for this is the power,
the soldier and the negro, for the space OF
three wears. Amen
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30

one day he was seen leaning up against the
outside weeping as if his heart would break.
whats the mattcr?" inquired one of his
friends who was passing. matter enough"
he said, "Pm clean done over; my boy Char
ley is dead. I'm mighty misfortunate in babies.
Just as quick as they get big enough to set
up the pins they diesm And poor Cumpton
sobbed on.
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30

sB-A jolly fellow had an Office next door
to a doctors shop. One day gentleman, of
the old fogy school, Numbered into the wrong
shop.
us the doctor imp"
"Dont live here,r said the lawyer who was
In full scribble over some old documents
sob! thought this was his Officer
Next door,
"Pray sir, can you tell me if he has many
patients"
sNot living"
The old gentleman told the story in the Vi
entity, and the doctor threatened the lawyer
with a libel suit.
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30
4 RElIRKABLE CURE OF 4 CASE or DROP
SY CURED BY MRS MANCHESTER

SY CURED by MRS. MANCHESTER.
This,s to certify that have been cured of the
Dropsy of fifteen years standing by Mrs. MdRches.
ter. have been to ply sicans in Boston, New York
and Philadelphia. They all told me that they could
do nothing for me, unless they tapped me. aud as
sured me that by tapping j could live but short
time. / had made up my mind TO go home and live
as long as could with the disease, and then die On
my way home stayed over night in Portland with
friend of mine, and told them what my mind was
in regard TO my disease. They finally persuaded me
to go and sec Mrs Manchester She examined me
and told me my case exactly.
was much astonshed to think that she told me
correctly, that told her that would take her med-
cines not having the least faith that they would do
me any good, that should get the slightest relief
from any course whatever; finally took the medi-
cine and went home. In week from the time l
commenced taking the medicine, had over three
gallons of water pass me in seven hours; and my fell
low sufferers may be assured that it was great relief
to me. had not been able to lie down in bed at
night before this for two years. Now can lie down
with perfect ease. have taken her medicine for
eight months, and am well any man could wish
to be, and no signs of dropsy. / would advise all
that sick to go aud consult 1bs. Manchester,
even if they have been given up by other ply
sicans have sent her number of cases of other
diseases, and she has cured them also. Go and see
for yourselves. had no faith, but now my faith
cannot be shaked in her skill in telling and curing
disease.
-s& saH4 CHARLES s. HARMON,
SARAH f. HARMON,
4Gh MARY A. HARMON.
Bangor, Maine, April ID.
OFFICE HoURs-From A. NJ. till 5pN N.
Il, a. ou,.Iaa
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30

~ There was deacon of church, of
the name OF Day, by trade a cooper. On
Sabbath morning he heard a number of boys
who were playing in front Of his house, and he
went out TO check the Sabbath proclamation.
Assuming a grave countenance he said TO
them: "Boys, do you remember what day
this is?' "Yes, sir,n replied one OF the boys,
Deacon Day the cooper"
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30
MEDICAL.

AEDl WILL BE FORTIFIED BY DR.L
VcJO DIX if failing to in less time than
any other physician, more elcctually and pcrma-
nenty with less restraint from occupation or fear OF
exposure to all weather with safe and pleasant med.
icines,
Their effectsand consequences;
SPECIAL AILMENTS AND SITUATIONS,
Incident to Married and Single Ladies;
SECRET AND DELI ATE DISORDERS;
Mercuria Affection (; Errptions and all Diseases of
the skin; Ulcers Of the Nose, broat aud Body Pim-
pies on the Face; Swelings of the Joints Nervous
ness; Constitutional and other Weaknesses in YOUTH
and the more advanced at all ages, of
BOTH SEXES, SINGLE OR MARRIED.
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30
OFHEUIUIIy !UHI5,
VALUABLE TESTIMONY.

WORCESTER. MASS.
Mr.. ID. HowARD-Dedr Sir:-lou wish TO know
what Information possess in relation 10 the efficacy
of your CANCER AND CASKER SYRUP. Several
years since my wife, being confined. severely
troubled with what is usually called Nursing Sore
Mouth" and what the physicians call milk limb"
Both legs were badly swollen, and were In dread.
full state. Everything that could be thought of was
resorted TO without any benefit. Her physicians
pronounced her recovery very doubtful, If not inn
possible. Al this time hearing of your SYRUP, and
II being highly recommended, she concluded, as
last resort TO give it trial. which she did with the
most beneficals results. Shortly after she COM
menced taking il, her health began to improve, and
the use of few bottles completely cured her. And
although she has been twice confined since, she has
been perfectly free from the trouble above named
have also seen its effects in great many out
of my family. which have been of the most satsfact
tory character. ] have procured hundreds of bot
ties for my friends and neighbors, and far my
knowledge extends il has given general satisfaction
take great pleasure in recommending It TO the pub
lie invaluable remedy for the diseases for which
il is recommended.
HENRY b. DICKINSON.
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30
Eclectic Medical Infirmary.
TO THE LADIES',

nR.HUGHES particularly invites all Ladies who
~ need a medical adviser, to call at his rooms, No
Temple Street, which they will find arranged for
their especial accommodation.
DR.. HIS Eclectic Renoyating Medicines are unriy al.
led in efficacy and superior virtue in regulating all
Female Irregularities. Their action is specific and
certain of producing relief in short time.
LADIES will find IL invaluable in all cases of OBJ
structons after all other remedies have been tried in
vain. Tits purely vegetable containing nothing in
the least injurious to the health, and be taken
with perfect safety at all times.
Sent to any part ofthe country with full directions
by addressing DIR. HUGHES,
Mob Temple Street, corner of Middle, Portland.
N.B.-LADIES desiring may consult one oftheir
ownsex lady of experience in constant attend
ance. iuldawtf3
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30
SACO 4 PORTSMOUTH
RAILROAD.

SUMNER ARR1N
Commencing April 9th, 1863
EEssx{ss1 Passenger Trains will leave the Sta.
s1x1Rx ton, Canal street, daily. tsundays ex-
ceptedl as follows:
Leave Portland for Boston, at s.45 A. NJ and 500
p.
Leave Boston for Portland at 7.s0 A. NJ. and 900
Pm.
Leave Portsmouth for Portland, at 10 90 A. NJ. and
$50 NJ.
stations.
Freight trains leave Portland and Boston daily.
JOHN RUSSELL, JR.. Supt.
Portland Mar. 10, 1863 les edit
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30
MAINE CENTRAL RAILROAD.
SUMMER ARRANGEMENT.

raSss5SezS- On and after Monday next passen ger
g11-@sH trains will leave dep 4 of G rand Trunk
haiiroaa IN Portland, for Lewiston and Auburn
7.f5 "A. NJ.
For Bangor and all intermediate stations at 10 r.
NJ. on arrival of trains from Boston.
Returning trains leave Lewiston and Auburn for
Portland at $50 A. n.
Leave Bangor for Portland at 100 A. NJ Both
trains connect with through trains to Boston aud
Lowell.
Freight train leaves Portland daily for all stations
on line of this road at s A. NJ
Tickets sold at the depot of the Grand Trunk Rail-
road in Portland for all stations on this road.
June l, 1868. n
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30

aeoioning Letter. 'rhich ,cs take from the Boston
Journal Of Oct. % Furnishes additional Tesfinio-
ny an Jdror Of this Great Specific:
CHARLEsrowN, Oct is, 1862
To the Editor Of The Boston Journal.
Wishing TO perform duty which consider due to
the afflicted well act of justice 10 the pro-
prietor Of the medicine named below, / take this
method TO give publicity TO the following: My wife
has been dreadfully afflicted for years with canker in
its appearance upon the surface of the stomach
breast, side, and one arm even rendering the parts
completely raw and producing distress that brought
her nigh unto death.
Some time since, being confined she was greatly
reduced IN consequence of the settling of the bumoT
in her breast, producing no less than five ulcers at
time, combining her to her bed for fifteen weeks
and leaving her in very bad and almost hopeless
condition, which baifled every means used for her
benefit till some time in August last when "How-
notice in manner that induced us to give il
trial which we did with the most astonishing and
gratifying results. After using seven bottles of the
Syrup all signs of the humor disappeared, and her
health is now good, condition TO which she has
been a stranger for many years. cannot command
language to express the happiness that this most ex
cellent medicine has brought to my family, but as
some slight return for the benefit ! have received
make this public statement of the case entirely OF
my own acc I'D, without solicitation from any one
Should any person interested wish TO consult eth
err of upon the subject. we should be pleased to
see them at our residence, No. As Warren street
Charlestown, Mass. Yours truly,
HEsRY SIvApIE.
Prepared and sold by ID. HOWARD. Randolph
Mass. TO whom all letters of enquiry should be adj
dressed. For sale in Portland by H. ~. H4 y, Drug
0ist, junction Free and Middle streets General
Agent for Maine--and by dealers In medicine gen.
orally. Price 81 per bottle; bottles for So.
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30

Major N, upon being asked ifhe
WAS seriously hurt at the bursting OF a boiler
on steamboat, replied that he was not, as he
had been bowed up so MANY times by his wife,
that mere steamer explosion had no affect
upon him whatever.
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30

.1y-"I say, boy, is there anything to shoot
here p'inquired sportsman of boy he met
well" was the reply, nothing just here,
but the schoomaster is down the hill yonder
you can pop him over"
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30

GA country youth, who had returned
home from London, was asked by his anxious
father II he was guarded in his conduct while
there. "Oh, yes" was the reply, Il was
guarded by twolpoliceman part Of the time"
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30

A FTER an extensive practice of upwards oftwen
IA ty yeats continues TO secure Patents in the Unit
ed States; also in Great Britain France, and other
foreign countries. Caveats, Specifications, Bonds,
Assignments and all Papers or Drawings for Patents,
executed on liberal terms, and with despatch. Re-
searches made into American or Foreign works, TO
determine the validity utility of Patents lnyen-
tons-and legal or other advice rendered in all mat
tiers touching the Copies of the claims of any
Patent furnished by RENTING One Dollar. Assign.
menis recorded at Washington. FL
The Agency Is not only the largest in New Eng
land, but through il inventors have advantages for
securing Patents of ascertaining the patentabiy OF
inventions, unsurpassed by, If not UNNECESSARILY su
peror to- any which can be offered them elsewhere
The Testimonials below given prove that none Il
M0RESUCCESSFUL AT THEPATENr OFFICE
than the subscriber; and as SUCCESS is THE BEST
PROOF OF ADVANTAGES AND. ABILITY, he
would add that he has abundant reason 10 believe
and can prove, that at no other Office of the kind
are the charges for professional services moderate
The immense practice of tho subscriber during
ty years past, has enabled him to accumulate vast
collection of specifications and official decisions rea
i've to patents.
These, besides hi extensive library of legal and
mechanical works and full accounts of patents grant
c in the United States and Europe, render him able
beyond question, TO offer superior facilities for OBJ.
tanning patents.
All necessity OF journey TO Washington. to pro.
cure patent, and the usual great delay there are
here saved inventors.
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30

nrWhy do the ladies in love like the cir
Gus? Because they have an itching for the
ring.
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30

sVWhy Is the pupil of the eye like bad
boy at school? Because it is always under
the lash.
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30

sTWhy is minister like locomotive
Why we have to look out for him when the
bell rings.
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30
DIR. JOHN c. MOTT.
Physician 81 Surgeon

90 COURT STREET corner of Howard, Boston
~ Is consulted daily from 10 until 2, and from
To in the evening, all diseases of the Urinary
and Genital Organs, Scrofulous Affections, Humors
OF all kinds, Sores, Ulcers and Eruptions. Female
Complaints, &c. An experience of over twenty
years extensive practice enables DR. NJ TO cure all
the most difficult cases Medicines entirely yegeta
bic. ADVICE FREE.
maladies of the sex, can be consulted by ladies.
Patients furnished with board and experienced
unrses.
Boston, April 2s. 1863 cody
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30
International Steamship Co.
Two Trips a Week!

SazSGe On and after Thursday, April 9th,
ts1lzesA.t- the Steamer NEW ENGLAND Capt
s1szsssssss>z-ssz- Z. Field and Steamer Jew BRUNs-
WICK, Capt. E. Il. Winchester, will leave Railroad
day, at O'Clock p. NJ, for Eastport and ST. John.
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30

1--WE DOLLARS will be given for the detection
1t and conviction of any person or persons tealinj
papers from the doors of our Subscribers.
dec25 PUBLISHERS OF THE PRESS
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30

gN-Of all the Percy family, the noblest is
Percy We're tperseyerel and the most cruel
Percy Cute tpersecutel.
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30
copyright seeured.l
The Great Indian Remedy
FOR FEMALES.


DIR MATTISON'S INDIAN EMMENAGO6uE.
This celebrated Female Medicine.
~ possessing virtues unknown of any.
IN thing else of the Kind. aud proving
= IA efectual after all others have failed,
R&M l. designed for both MARRIED and slA-
lH1<tA gle ladies. and Is the very best thing
N&3N known for the purpose, as IL viii
VG[s bring on the BiOafAfy sickaessi in cases
.yHNSA of distractions. from any cause. and
ETFsTA after all other remedies of the kind
tI...s,r<d have been tried in vain.
EsMmTrA. OVER 1000 BOTTLES have now
4. been sold without a single future,
81 NJ IA when taken as directed, and without
~ W. tA the least injury to health In any case.
- n IA ~ 1t Is put up in bottles OF three
s.<--es.S - different strengths, with full diFse-
tons for using, and sent BY express.
closely sealed. to all parts of the country.
PRICES-Eull strength, $40; hall strength, 50;
uarter strength. SO per bottle. LII.
E-REMENBER-Thf This medicine is designed err
ressiy for obstinate eases. rhieh all other remedies
Of the Kind hare fai!ed TO cure; also that 10 is
ranted represented IN errs respect or the price
sy-BEW1RE OF IiuTA7T0SS, None genu.
inc and warranted unless purchased directly ~ Dr.
M at his Remedial Ltstitufs for Special Diseases,
No. 2s Union street, Providence. X. i.
tH-This Speciality embraces all diseases of pri-
rate nature, both of MEN aud WOMEN, by reg
giving them his irh0fe attention. VI. "a. -.
Consultations by letter orotherwise are strict
" coddentiai and medicines will be sent BY express
secure from observation, to all parts of the United
States. Also accommodations for ladies from abroad
wishing for secure and qniet RETREAT, with good
care. ultl rtStOitl 10 ucalth. a.e...5-
CAUrI0N.-lt has been estimated thaSover ftco
hundred thousand dollars are paid to swinding
quacks annually In New England alone. withoutdny
6eReFt to those who pay it. All this comes from
trusting cithOat inquiry to men who are alike des-
titute of honor character and skill and whose only
recommendation is their own false and extravagant
assertions, in praise of themselves. IT, therefore,
You would avoid being hgntbHgged, take no man.
word, matter trkat his prefeRsions are, but
MAKE INQUIRY lit will cost you nothing, and
may you many regrets; for, as advertising ply
sicsns in nine ou of ten, are bogus, there Is
teho and chat they are. ~
- Dr. VI. will send FERE. by enclosing one
stamp as above, pamphlet on DISEASES OF W0-
MEN, and Priraie Diseases generally. giving full
information, ,cfA TEE most EadOeJted references aud
testimonials without which advertising ply stefan
or medicine of this kind is deserving of Any con.
FIDENCE WHITEGER.
rH-orders by mail promptly attended TO. Write
youraddress plainly, and direct to DR. MAIIisoN,
as above. dee6 dawly30
The Portland daily press., 1863-10-30
RAILROADS.
York q Cumberland 1aas,road,
WINTER ARRANGEMENTS.

me zu 4. " train out ard the $50 A. NJ train
into Portland will be Freight Trains With passannr
Cars attached. - So
Fare cents less when tickets are purchased at
the Office than when paid In the cars "
Oct o. 1853. dtf DAN CARPENrFR su,,,