The Hancock Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Ohio) 1857-1870, 1863-12-25
Dec. thc IYth, @.

fcllers wuz not alluz elegant.
81 wuz."
"Tomus, air the party now baril
the name yoor child?
Not any. It's mizable bastard
born NV John c. Calhoon, and tha
ole hag, Stait Rites, and a low-livt
whelp it is. My heirs is them e;
supports the Government help tc
maik.
"bnt, Tomus, wood 700 hev MS
support Abolishn war fer the per.
pus nv freein niqgers?
The sperit rapt out with awful dis.
tinknis, "We hold these trooths to
he self-evident that awl men is crea-
It'd ekal, and cndoud with certing in
Ulcycnable rites, among wich is life,
liberty
At this pint / stopt the meium. I
knew the sperit wuz not Tomus Gef-
ierson, hut impostcr, hevin heerd n
Abolishn prcecher use the same Ian
gigc at a 4th nv Gully selebrashen. |
then cald Androo Jaxn, hoo Responded
"Androo," sez /, "woodent VOC
like to he back on yearth, jist now?'
"Ioo kin bet / wood" retortid he
I'D like to hev bin President in the
plais NY that old, witc-livcrd, black
cockade Fedralist, Boo<annon. Wat
a hangin ther wood hev bin! Ther
wood hev bin wacansis in Congris,
and jest ez menny funerals ez ther
wuz wacansis." Ez fer Sowth Carli-
n.y.
The communycashen ceesd, and /
heerd sound like the griffin nv
teeth. 1t resoomd. I'D string up
Nallandigum, and Fernandy Wood,
and Sammedary, ct settry. 1t wood
he bad old joke on them indiviiilcs
ef he'd controlc NV the habis corpus
I'd"
l reioozd to here fcrthcr. This
sperit wuz also ondoutdly impostcr.
] cald fer Benton, who merely scd
that Mizsory wuz cumin to her sensis
in gittin rid NV slaivry, and fer Dug
lis who remarkt that he Good say nv
the temple NV Dimocrisy ez the Say
ior sed NV the sinagog, "My howsc is
cold howse NV prayr, but ye hev
maid it a den nv theeves," both NV
whom WIZ onqucstionably impostors.
Another sperit, probably NV Il de-
ceest abolishnist sed that Benedict
Arnold and Judis Iscariot hadent bin
on speekin terms fer sum time, Isca-
riot hevin called Arnold Coppcrhed.
Arnold sed he'd never stand that.
Duglis cum back, and scd he he'd
jest wun word . say The Dimocrat-
ic party WIZ wunst crate but it he'd
got in2 bad hands and gon crazy ez
a drunken bcd-bug. 1t ncedid new
manajers-men NV sulllshent sence
and honisty to run the party on old
prinsipples. In the old hands it WIZ
pattryotic party--a party that wuz
alluz for the country. 1t whald the
British in 1872, and afterwards nockt
the hind sites Off NV the old Fedral
party fer opposin it. Itsmasht Mex
leo, and afterwards smasht the Whig
party fer not helpin. Now fer the
Dimocrisy to oppose war agin reb-
els who not only commcnst it, but
he'd actooally bustid the party itself,
is loonacy unekaled in the histry NV
the world. Squelch them tuppenny
pollytishns who hev theeved the man.
tells wunst worn by Jaxn and Benton
| they look in EN- jest about as we'll as
a origin grinders munky wood in q
soJer's overkote, and fill EN- Jest as
much), get onto war platform,
and"-
l didn't care about persooin my in
yestigashens emmy ferther, pertikeler-
ly ez the Ablishnists were all snick-
rim. Its my privit opinyun that Tiers
nothin relyable about 1t. He'd the
sperits bin reely them NV Jefferson,
Jaxn, and sich, they woodent hev
talkt so much undilootid niggerism.
However, it did me very well. The
mejum took up colieckshun NV six
dolers, wieh, by singler coincidence,
wuz the eggsact amount he'd inten-
did to charge him fer the use NV my
church. He grumbeld, but FINELY
SHIELD out. / am now warm new
pare NV pants. sr
PETROLEUM V. Massey,
Faster Nv sed church, in charge.
Er This is the identical time to