The weekly Butte record., 1863-05-16
How to Procure a Husband.

I iutnlsn matter ior q little comedy. II cOmeules
were still written in England. 1t is generally
the case that the more beautiful and the richer
young female is, the more difficult are both
her parents and herself in the choice of hus-
band, and the more offers they refuse. The
one is too tall, the other too short, this not
wealthy, that not respectable enough. Mean
while one Spring passes after another, and year
after year carries away leaf after leaf of the
bloom Of youth, and opportunity after oppor-
tunity. Miss Harriet Selwood was the richest
heiress in her native town; but she had al
ready completed her twenty y-seventh year, and
men whom she had at one time or other dis
carded. Harriet began to be set down for an
old maid Her parents became really uneasy,
and she herself lamented in private position
which is not natural one, aud to which those
to whom nature and fortune have been mig.
gardy of their gifts are obliged to submit !;
but Harriet as we have said, was both hand.
some and very rich. Such was the state of
things when her uncle, wealthy merchant 10
the north Of England, came on a visit to her
parents. He was joyial, lively, straightfor.
ward man, accustomed to attack all difficulties
boldly and coolly.
"You see, said her father to him one day,
Harriet continues single. The girl is hand
some what she is to have for her fortune, you
know; even in this scandallovipg town, not
creature can breathe the slightest imputation
against her; and yet she is getting to be an
old maid"
True" replied the uncle; but look you,
brother, the grand point in every affair in this
world is to seize the right moment; this you
have not done-it is mistortune but let the
girl go along with me, and before the end OF
three months will return her to you as the
wife of man as young and wealthy as her.
SELF
Away went the niece and the uncle. On
the way home, he thus addressed her:
Mind what am going to say. You are
no longer Miss Selwood, but Mrs. Lumley, my
niece, young, wealthy, chldless widow. You
had the misfortune to lose your husband, Col.
Lumey, after happy union of quarter of
year, by fall from his horse while hunting"
Let me manage, if you please Mrs. Lum-
ley Your father has invested me with full
powers. Here, look you, is the wedding ring
given you by your late husband. Jewels and
whatever else you need, your aunt will supply
you with; and accustom yourself to cast down
your eyes"
The keen-witted uncle introduced his niece
everywhere, and the young widow excited
great sensation. The gentlemen thronged a.
bout her, and she soon had her choice out of
twenty suitors. Her uncle advised her to
take the one who was deepest in love with her,
and a rare chance decreed that this should be
precisely the most amiable and opulent The
match was soon concluded, and one day the
uncle desired to say few words to his future
nephew in private.
my dear sir" be began, we have told
you an untruth."
How so? Are Mrs. Lumley's affections
-"
IN othing of the kind My niece is sincerely
attached to you"
"Then her fortune suppose, is not equal
TO what you told me?"
"On the contrary, it is larger
"Well, what is the matter then2'
"A joke, an innocent joke, which came into
my head one day when was iu good humor
we could not we'll recall it afterward. My
niece is not widow"
What is Col. Lumley lving?"
q No, no; she is spinster."
The lover protested that he was a happier
fellow than he had conceived himself; and the
old maid was metamorphosed into young
wife"