The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1863-12-03
Job Potson's Hxpe,iment,

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1t was a disagreeable stormy day out OF
doors. and in the village store were collected
d dozen, or more, of social spirits, engaged in
drinking cider and talking politics. BY and
by they had talked the political field dry, and
one of their number-Sam Shute by name-a
red-nosed, blear-eyed man, opened upon the
subject OF domestic government. He venti-
lated himself upon household affairs in gene
raj, and finally approached one Of his hobbies
as follows:
81 tell ye my boys, a mans got to be mas
ter in his own house if he ever expects 10 be
anybody. Just let your wife gain an inch,
ami she Il take an ell. Let her once take the
reius, and she'll be sure to keep EN-. Lord !!
what a thing a man must be to let his wife
rule him."
lhereupon Mr. Sam Shute finished his mug
of cider and then filled his mouth with tobac-
co.
That's u fact, ;" cried Tom Burnham, in a
thick, foggy voice. "Egad, Id like to see a
woman rulin' me-. | never had it in my fam
'ly. No, sirs, | hold the reins myself. My
wife moves when | tell her to, She's got her
lesson, and she knows just what to depend
on
Tom Burnham finished his mug of cider
AMI lighted his old black pipe.
You're right chimed Lot Quimby. lifting
his great dirty boots on to the stove hearth as
he spoke. "If a man provides a home for bis
family, he's got a right to be boss. Thunder 4!
Id like to see a woman pullin' me around by
the nose"
''The fact is" resumed Sam Shute, empty
ing his mouth upon the floor, ''these ere wo-
men have got two leadin' strings, and when
they can't pull by one they try the other. In
the first place, they want to govern like mas
tiers, that suits 'em best but, if they can't
do that, then they try to fetch us round by
frettin' and coaxin'. But they don't come any
0 their nonsense over me. Lord When d
man once puts his foot down, what can a wo-
man dol"
That's So" pronounced Burnham, digging
up the moist tobacco i'll his pipe with the
blade of his j~ack-knife, and then putting away
for dear life. Chats So" he repeated after
his pipe was once more in smoking ORDER
1--we had Experience i'll that. When a man
once puts his foot down, a woman can't dc
%uothin'. A woman'll pull an haul Jest as long
as there's a chance of havin' her own way
but when she finds that she's got a master,
why, Lord bless ye, she'll be like a colt with
a bit in,-there may be some kickin' and
strugglin' but she's got to come round fin
ally. Women nave to he broken ies' like
colts"
'4tggs-zactly said Lot Quimby, lowering
his boots to the floor, but leaving a part Of
the dirt upon the stove hearth. you've bit
the thing precisely Tom. Egad, there's
some comfort III a mans feelin' that he's boss
OF the establishment. If I've ever got to be
a slave, / hope l shan't be a slave to woman
that's all I've got to say. AS long as | owr
a house, | kalkildte to rule i'll it. What's youl
opinion Job?"
This last remark was addressed to job Pot.
son, a small sized, quiet-looking man, whc
sat i'll the corner smoking a new pipe.
Il guess, said Sam Shute, with a laugh
that Job is a leejIe on the other track"
shouldn't wonder" added Tom Burnham
with a wink. He ran a broom-straw through
the muddy stem of his old pipe, ard then con
tinued-''his wife's got the upper hand | rath.
er guess"
mot by a derned sight" exclaimed Job il
a nigh dudgeon. 'Sirs! My wife don't rul'
me. You're mighty mistaken il you think
Pm henpecked."
but Airs. Poison does just about as she's
a mind to, / take it, suggested Shute.
And" added Burnham, who had got hi
pipe a going once more, Il rayther guess Jot
does jest about as she tells him to do
That's so, fast enough" said Lot Quinn.
by.
but Job decIared that it was not SO and
he became very angry when his companions
laughed at him and expressed their pity to
hiML
But when job Poison went out from tht
store and started for home, he began to won
der if they had not told the truth. Job wa
not a large-minded man. He was all honest
kiud-heartcd man; but he lacked energy anC
decision. Still, he had some pride, as al
small men are apt to lave and the remark
Of lis companions had touched him in a ten
der spot, AS he walked slowly homeward HI
thought the matter over, and finally came t.
the conclusion that his wife did rule. Ii
called to mind all the domestic arrangement
and doings of the past week, and he was fore
ed to admit that he was in many respects,t f'
governed. He stopped square in the road, ant
put his foot down.
This won't do" he declared to himself
4 must turn over a new leaf. By the grea
Moses! Eli be master in my own house! "
will see who'll govern!'
Sarah Poison sat i'll her kitchen engaged i
i'll mending her husbands frock. She was
medium sized, mild-faced woman, with clea
hazel eyes and dark brown hair-a faithfu
loving woman, frugal and industrious, and pos
sebsing a good share of tirmness and decision
IhG house was clean, and in order; the she
was a pattern of neatness the barn was wei
kept the cows and pigs were fat and sleek
the orchard was trim and the farm was pre-
ductive; and a careful observer whohad watch
cd the doings of fifteen years would have sal
that Sarah Poison was the genius who pres
ded over all this order and thrift.
Job Poison reached his home, and hung hi
hat upon the back of a chair, and sat dow
by the stove.
i Job" said his wife, without stopping he
needle. ''as soon as you get warm, l CUES
+ you'd better fix our front door step. Ih
] plank on the lower step is loose. And afte
dinner would be a good time to secure til
beam over the tie-up. You had better do
before the stanchions get loose. The cattI
can work them a little now. "A stitch |
time saves nine yon know.
IN look out for my barn." said Jot
= placing rather an undue emphasis upon I'll
] my.
His wife's needle fairly stopped, and a loo
j., Of curious surprise crept over her face. WI;
did the maj mean?
But, job" she suggested, kindly "haN
you noticed that the beam is loose p
= This rather staggered job Poison but |
!nuickIv rncnverad himself and nlaced n