Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1863-01-31
NUMBER %.
ITEMS.

Never trouble trouble till trouble trou.
BILE you.
you don't want to be tossed BY bull
toss the bull.
Over warm friend ships like hot potatoes
arc quickly dropped.
An utterly un,hinking person should
say only what he thinks
The man who lives for himself alone
lives for a mean fellow.
The three best medicines in the world
are warmth, abstinence and repose.
Our own caprices are more extravagant
than those Of fortune.
Extraordinary haste to discharge an
obligation is sort Of ingratilude
Throw chimney sweep into the river
if you would make clean sweep of him.
A womans tears are generally more
effective than her words. In such cases
wind is less powerful element than water
1t is less important to young lady that
her lovers diamonds should be of pure
water than that his drinks should be.
Nearl every evil has its compen sation.
If man has out cne foot he never .reads
on his own toes
When may man be said to be dressed
IN borrowed plumes When he's tarred
and feathered
Every man ought to have q wife. If he
is happily married bis rib is worth all
the other bones in his body.
Let us live patiently. We should have
aspirations, but, till the flying comes, let
US brood contentedly upon our nests.
Many people use their refnements as a
spider his web-to catch the weak upon,
that they may be mercilessly devoured.
The on y effect of public punishment is
to show the rabble how bravely or with
what indifference it can be borne.
True politeness is as far from effectins
gravity in the company Of the merry as
from laughing in presence of the serious.
Showing kindness to the wicked and
ungrateful is like feeding strange dogs
that will bark at you none the less
Mrs. Partington wants to know if the
Pope sent any Of his bulls to the cattle
show.
The eaglet must have time The beak
that in due season will cleave skull at
first has merely power to chip the egg.
He can hardly be prepared to enter the
world of spirits who trembles at the tho't
OF encounlerins solitary ghost.
The greatest and most brilliant human
conceptions have been the births of a ee-
NAL moment, and not the wooden carving
of logical toll.
What three words did Adam use when
he introduced himself to Eve. and which
read the same backwards as forwards p
Madam N Adam"
"What plan shall l adop. to fiji the
house at my benefit" !" said one actor to
another. Invite your creditors, was the
curt reply.
There are ties which never should be
severed" as the il'used wife said when
she found her bruto of husband banging
in the hay loft.
A French author says-When lost nv
wife every family in the town offered me
another; but when lost my horse no one
offered to make him good"
An editor says that the only reason why
his house was not blown away during the
late gale was because there was heavy
mortgage upon it.
We button up our hearts as We button
up our coats, all the more resolu,ely if
our hearts, like our coa,.pockets have any
thing valuable in them
We love women all the better for their
weakness. The strong minded women
always seem as if they wanted to be men
and couldn't
They say that two many minors are en-
listed in the army, but Vanity Fair thinks
that the minors do a great deal better
than some Of the majors.
A man at Newcastle, who had served
four days on the jury, says that he is so
full Of law that it is hard work to keep
from cheating somebody.
There are some ideas that seem, like
raindrops, to fall upon mans head; the
head itself having nothing to do with the
matter.
See that each hours feelings and thot'a
and actions are pure and true then will
your life be such. The wide pasture is
but separate spears of grass, the sheeted
bloom Of the praires but isolated flowers
BEEcHER NEARLY MoBBEp. - Henry Ward
Beecher was nearly mobbed by the citi.
zens of Elizabeth, n j., when he went
there to preach one of his abolition ser.
mons. He had to hurry away, protected
by policemen.
"Julius, can you tell me how Adam got
out of Eden?" "Well Is'pose he climbed
ober de fence "No, dat amt it," "Well,
den, he borrowed wheel.bsrrow and
walked out. "No.' II CUBS it up, den.'
"He was snaked out. Yaw."