New-York daily tribune. [volume] (New-York [N.Y.]) 1842-1866, 1863-04-24
COATS AND DINNERS.

cheap hats and coats, or good dinner on
Sunday. the sooner this war is ended the bot
ter" We are to have peace, therefore, not
upon moral, but upon strictly physical princ
pes. The Constitution and the Laws arc OF
less consequence than an empty belly upon the
Lords Day. We really do not know which
70 admire most-the Judges devotional or
detetic notions. There is fine mingling OF
both in the idea of Good Dinner on Sunday
This Copperhesd evidently loves his Creator,
not because he has by those Omn'Poten'
Hands been endowed with an immortal soul,
but because upon him have beea conferred
ORGANS of masticatOn, degluttion, and dges-
ton, and he can frame no more cunning argu-
ment in favor of q patched-up peace than tho
promised depreciation in the price Of butchers
meat. His ideal OF religious bliss Is to walk
homo from church after a mild sermon, and
to 6ud huge sirioih, with plenty OF gravy,
smoking upon bis board. But we do not
know why the Judge confined himself to meat.
Are there not beer. pots as well as flesh pots
Why did MT he touch bis auditors where
they live, by lively picture Of Peace
with q cheap roasting. piece in one hand and
cheaper brandy smash in the Other' In such
On experiment upon the throats Of the CON-
pany, be should have remembered that liquids
20 down with greater facility than solids; and
that Cope rheads are vastly more likely to be
thirsty than hungry. Why did the Justice for.
get to open tho batteries of bis billingsgate
upon the Beer and Spirit excise Why did
be fail to paint in bideous colors the outrageous
conduct of the Government toward the brew
ersi Why did he not frantically allude to the
immense advance in tobacco, which has rem
dered the coDsolatory smoke and the phiio-
sophical quid the Injuries Of the oPuent' Tho
alusiou TO the Sunday dinner, we confess, was
very neat--but why such al absurd ignoring Of
the weekday dram1 What are coats to pant
ing thirstersi What !. beef (on sundays) to
one who is ",png for smile 7" fyou found
man peri.hing in the desert of drouth, you
would MT begin to talk to him about o coat.
though he might be coatless; but you would
then and there save him, even in his shirt
sleeves.
We do Mt know how shis judges appeals
were received by the coIupany-eaeh mans ap-
plause would probably be regulated by the con-
dltion Of his wardrobe ind viscera. But sup
pose this orator had ampifed thus:
"My Dear Starving aud Ragged Fellow
Citizens do you love beef.stesksi Then vote
down tho Lincoln Administration! Are you
fond of roasted turkeys Then vote against the
continuance of this war Does good dinner
make the Sabbath sweeter TO your souls Then
demand peace with our hayward sisters! BY
all your love of mutton, veal, pork, poultry-by
your passion for outlets and chops-by your
tender sympathy with oysters and clams-by
your devotion to regular drinks, l adjure you
10 become Copperheads What is the Union
Can you eat it fried, boiled brOiled roasted,
stewed, or served upon blazer' Will it put
auy fat upon your bonesi Will it promote alb.
domnal sesquipedality Will it keep your back
warmi VIII 1t mend your breeches : Viii it
give you a new one, in the place of your shock
iyg bad hat Well, my friends, may you an
swer IN the negative. The Spirit of our Fathers
il oil we'll enough in its place, but what ia it
IL the Spirit of Old Rye1 say, then, peace
and pudding Compromise and coats! Seces-
sion if il must be, but our Sunday dinner at
any rate!"
Now, this is not essentially different from
the speech which the Judge did make, in his
syory summing-up. We have only taken tho
slight liberty of paraphrasing bis remarks. 1t
may be a question whether, if this eating house
Justice had made himself we'll understood, no
would have been permitted to go on. Our i'm
preston is that the comfort of the dinner
which he means, no doubt, to eat next Sunday,
would have been materially interisred with
We do not believe that even that audience
would have tolerated the appeal in its naked
grossDess. His hearers might have been sore
Of head and faint Of spirit, and much ex.
asperated by the color of the cleo
tion.returns, but they would not have
been ready to sink down to the
ow level Of McCunn's plottsr-patriotisn
And, even if they had been 80. they would
have had the good sense to SEQ that al Srti-
icial and insincers peace with the Rebels
would by no means be Synonymous with
plenty. A man must be q very dolt who sup
poses that the recognition Of the Confederacy,
implying the necessity on our part Of main.
aiming an immense standing army, would
ilninish taxes or put an ounce of meat into
my poor mans pot. The success Of the
would be followed by q flu. |