Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1863-06-03

like effects-or that the effect will cease,
though the cause be continued. The truth
most probably is, that when the affections Of
married people become extinct it is owing to
their neglect to continue the causes By 1Dhjch those
affections iUere first elected What man in his
senses, if he knew the disposition Of the lady
he addressed, would fall in love with a sour,
sulky, brawling, ill-natured woman1 tits the
opposite qualities which he sees, or thinks he
sees, in the lady Of his choice of which he be-
comes enamoured. It is a countenance illu-
mined with smiles, eyes beaming with intelli-
genceT mouth flowing with sweetness and
good -nature-in short, a department indica-
tive of modesty, mildness and benignity, to
which he pays the homage Of his heart. If
such were the causes by which were quick
ened the tenderness of the lover, rely on it
that nothing short of those will insure the at
fections of the husband for when the causes
subside, the effects must necessarily cease, and
then misery and wFetchedness viii become
the inmates of your household.
More of the happiness of married people
is involved in their conduct during the first
year, than in any succeeding period of their
connubial association. There are probably
but few instances where persons newly mar
ried do not discover, and that too in an early
period of their matrimonial relation, each in
the other, some trait OF character which had
before escaped their obseryation-and much,
very much, of the felicity Of their lives, de-
pends on the course they may pursue on those
occasions. ShoUl2 the newly discovered faults
or follies of the husband appear to be such as
to preclude the hope of their being corrected,
however unpleasant the task, the wife's east
est course will be to endeavor to accommo-
date herself to them. If she cannot bring her
circumstances to her mind, the alternative is
to try to bring her mind to her circumstances.
Custom and habit tend to lessen the effect Of
evils which cannot be destroyed; and com
mon prudence will induce her to conceal from
her husband her knowledge of these faults Of
his which she cannot expect to obviate, be-
cause it will not increase his affections for her.
should he think that hers for him are in the
wane. Ifa woman would correct the faults
or folheS OF her husband, she should reflect
that she can only do it by means Of her inAu-
ence over hin-that she has, in general, no
other influence than what arises from his af-
lections for her-that the continuance of these
depends on the continuance Of the causes by
which they first were kindled and you may
rest assured, that whatever female patience,
good-humor, and tender affection
cannot accomplish with husband, frowns,
sul6s sharp reproof, and ill-natured reproach-
es never can achieve. By the former he may
be soothed and softened into complaisance,
and willingly led to abandon a foible or
fault; but the latter will inevitably tend to
sour his mind, to curdle all the milk of human
kindness in his bosom, warm his resentment, !
excite his opposition, and confirm him in er-
ror.
Ny acquaintance with your husband, has
induced me to believe, that his whole heart
and soul accompany his affections and aver
sions; and that it depends much or mostly on
the exercise of your prudence and discretion,
whether he will be to you kind and tender
husband, or an unpleasant and uninteresting
associate. Perhaps you are now about to ask,
if the wife must make all, and the husband no
sacrifice to promote connubial concord and do
mestic peace? mean no such thing--on
the contrary, so much depends on your mu-
tual endeavors, that without the husbands !
the wife's cannot succeed. But the path I
have pointed out for you to take, is the surest,
nay the only one to be pursued to produce Or
continue IN him tie disposition to a correspond
ing course Of measures Can that be called
sacrifice which promotes domestic bliss? AS
well may he be said to sacrifice his money who
gives it for larger sum.
"You will be disappointed if you expect
your husbands face always to be the sporting
place Of smiles and graces, or his mind at all
times attuned to the soft melody Of harmoni-
ous strains
q As well expect eternal sunshine, coudless skies,
As men forever temperate, calm and wise"
Sickness, disappointment, and perplexity in
MS business, and thousand nameless causes,
cannot but sometimes operate to disturb his
mind, depress his spirits, and becloud his Wis
age; producing, perhaps unusual taciturnity,
or strain Of language not remarkable for its
nelHAuent cadences. This is not the occa-
sion on which lie is to be met with a cores
bonding department on the part of mis- wife.
It is rather the time when the exercise of all
ler philosophy is indispensable, a time when
ler temper is to be tried, her heart probed:
md her affections put to the test; the time
when by her kind, soft, and sympathizing Ian
yuage, and a countenance and conduct bearing
estimony to It's sincerity, that he is to be com
orted at least with the reflection, that he has
friend in adversely as well as in prosperity,
mariner in his sorrows as in his joys. may
possibly be singular in the opinion, but 1 could
lever entertain the fullest confidence even in
he ratls Of that female whose sympathies
ould not be excited by the sorrows of others;
I'D surely a wife can never appear so inter
sting and amiable in the eyes of her husband,
S when he sees her melting with kindness to
nm, and sorrowing for his sorrows. In short
should be the object Of your unremitted at
ention, to make him feel that his home is
lace OF refuge from his cares, a sanctuary
rom the frowns Of adverse fortune, and he