Litchfield enquirer., 1863-12-31
From the New York Mercury.1
 CONUNDRUMS.
QUEER QUESTIONS, euInks, AND ou1ssLss
AN INExHAusrrBLR FUND or FUN FOR TEE
 READER.

QUEER QUESTIONS, oUIRKs, AND ou1BBLEs.
 AN IsrxHAusrrBLr FUND or FUN FOR TEE
 READEn.
 4 Batch of Whys.
 Why is London milkman like Pharaoh's daughters Because he takes little profit out of the water.
 Why is blade of grass like 6 note of handf Because t is maturod by falling dew.
 Why does person that is poorly. lose much of his sense of touch Because he don't feel well.
 Why are rats better than tomatoesf Be- cause tomatoes make only catsup, while rass make cat supper.
 Why is it vulgar to send telegram Be. cause it is making use of flash language.
 Why gre indolent persons beds too long for them9 Because they are too long m them.
 Why is waiter like race.horsef BscAuse he often runs for plate or cup.
 Why is a benevolent landlord who lowsrs his tenants rent like a man who draws up ( new code of philosophy? Because he reduces it to assist 'em Ia system
 Why should the stars be the best astfono. mers. Because they have studded (studisd) the heavens ever since the creation. Why had the Roman soldiers 90 muck 6lisl virtue? Because they never went toDwar with out first seeking the blessings of their Mars. Why is a hungry boy looking at pudding, like wild horse {? Because he would be all th6 better if he had bit in his mouth. Why is minister like locomotive? Be- cause we have to lock out for him when the bell rings. Why is rheumatism like e gluttoni Be- cause it attacks the joints. | Why are blacksmiihs confirmed sinners Because they have hardened vices. Why is a field of grass like person older than yourself? Because it is pasturage.
 Why is photographic album like the drain- CT on bar-counter? Because it js often . receptacle for empty mugs. | Why is the assessor of taxes the best man in the worldi Because be never underrates anybody.
 Why is life the riddle of all riddlesf Be. cause we all give it up? l Why is a musical instrument like the open sea? Because it's often sounded.
 Why are all games of chess of equal dura- tion? Because it always takes four knights to play game.
 Why is the chimney stalk of large manu- factory like false alarmP Because it ends in smoke.
 Why are ambassadors the most perfect peo- pie in the world? Because they are all excel lencies.
 Why is sympathy like blind mans butFs It is fellow feeling for fellow.creature.
 Why is the sun like good loaf? Because it's light when it rises. Why cannot two slender persons ever be- come ne great frisnds' Because they will always Why is crow brave bird <? Because he never shows the white feather.
 Why is drunkard hssitating to sigu the pledge like skeptical Hindoo? Because hs doubts whether to give up the worship of jug or-not. Why is sawyer like a lawyer! Because whichever way he goes, down comes tho dust. 
 Why are washwoncn silly psoplef Bscause they put out their tubs to catch soft water : when it rains hard. Why is man who doesn't lese his temper like a schoolmaster? because he keeps cool ) keeps schooI. Why arc mountains like invalidsf Because they look peakish. Why is surgeon operating on tumor like a Broadway dandy7 Because hs is custings swell. Why are bookkespers like chickeusf Be- cause they have to scratch for living. :. Why is the letter c like Rebel victoryf Because it makes us cuss. ) Why are there, strictly speaking, only 33S f days in the year Because forty days are Lent and never return. 4 BascA of Whaks What word may be pronounced quicker by adding syllable to 1t? Quick.
 What quadrupsds arc admitted to balls, op- eras, and dinner partiesi White kids some times the goats themselves 20 with them. What is that word of one syllable which, if the two first letters are taken from it, becomes a word Of two syllables ?--Plague. Ague. What kind of face should on anctioneer have? A face that is forbidding
 What piece of carpentry becomes gem as soon as finished ? Agate. l What is the oldest tree in America ? The elder tree.
 What day in month of the year is . com mand to go ahead ? March 4th. What prevents the running river running away? Why, it's tide up. ] What is the tourists best motive for travel | ing A locomotive. What kind of man would you prefer for guide on dark night [ A lanternjawad man.
 What word would give sorrow to the mes chaDic and joy to the prisoner Discharged. What fish is most valued by | happy wifeS Herring. | What town in Massachusetts signifies pro- ceed with reproach Taunton. What do we seek redress for? Injuries. Where do we find it? In juries. l What instrument does man who deals In tdddles most resemble ? A violoncello (violin ssller.)
 What age the most dsceiving. The sau- sage. Wbak .u ftot sl,:ai, h. ,,1s1;,,rr aouncibsno fo