Weekly Trinity journal., 1863-03-21
NUMBER 10.
jenkins on Bogus Babies.

We met jenkins this morning, in an exciting
mood, and rubbing his hands in an excited man
ner. lie was vainly endeavorng to extract
smoke from very short specimen Of the inevit-
able cheap cigar, which was as Innocent of fire as
1t was OF Spanish,
"Sir,n said he " there are O great many bogus
babies in Chicago"
Bogus babies?~
d" AS sure as am alive and the father of sew
eral interesting specimens of the genius genuine.
There is nothing bogus about the little Jenkinses,
as you would say ii you could see them, but that's
more than can be said about many heads Of fam
lilies who sport juvenile carriages around the city
on every sunshiny day and on some days that are
not supshiny. Yes sir" he continued. gleefully,
" I've made AT important discovery, discovery
! which reveals the deception aud weakness Of the
! human heart, and shows how ineonsstenty false
pride battles with purses that won't jingle an
encounter in which the former generally sue
cumbs after brief season of uncertain and un-
decisive successes on either side"
Stopping to wind the loose wrapper Of his
cigar, we exclaimed" In Heavens name what
do you meanY'
"Socicty," he said, is rotten from surface to
core. We are taught to believe, according to the
tenets of fashionable life that labor is degrading
that to be poor is to be despised. What wonder,
them that in Cur frantic struggles to conceal both
our poverty and the fact that we labor, we should
do many ridiculous things, aud resort to many
dsreputable sratagems. Well, sir, coming down
Randolph street, the other day, l saw we'll
dressed woman drawing baby carriage along
the sidewalk large shawl covered the head Of
the little occupant, while green veil, spread
carefully over the back OF the carriage concealed
the features no doubt possessing all the lowell
ness imaginable. AT each rise aud fall OF the
very up and down stairs sidewalk, the affection
ate matron, young though she was, would ten
DERBY ride the carriage over the rough places, as
Al, a., ,o1 10
cherub. | was so much pleased with this display
of tenderness that kept looking at it. In fact,
had seen that Identical carriage before. Lat
terly | have wondered not u little at the rapid
increase of baby carriages in the streets, for you
know sir, that during the present Autumn, hun
dreds were to be met on any afternoons walk
Well, Just as | was wrapped up in admiration OF
the delicate aud tender care of the mother whom
had been observing, she arrived at three step
brick in the sidewalk, near the Metropolitan
Hall. She turned the carriage around and backed
it slowly and carefully down the first step, when
to my horror the pole slipped from her hands,
and the carriage with its blessed load, fell over
backwards landing bottom upwards on the stone
pavement below You may imagine with what
aacrity sprang to the woman's assistance. l
raised the wrecked carriage, and there upon tho
pavement lay--nOt a bruised mass OF hallbreath-
ing innocence, as had expected but at least 70
pairs Of army pants Fact, sir, and no mistake.
This woman was too poor to live without work,
and too proud to let anybody know 1t. She found
employment by making army pants for the con
tractor, aud to hide the fact w0e Ia the habit OF
carrying her work TO and from her house in
baby carriage, so arranged with shawls, pillows,
wells, ETC., as to make the Illusion perfect Upon
| inquiry sir, have found that this thing is prac-
tced to great extent, aud am fully convinced
that three fourths of these juvenile carriages that
one meets contains army pants or some similar
humbug. And that's what l mean 10y bogus
babies'"
And Jenkins turned upon his heels and was
of, with an expression of extreme disgust ruilllng
bis usually compacont CONFERENCE.-THE
Journdk