The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1863-06-05

the fantastic toe OF your neighbor.
A moral debating society out West is en-
gagged in discussing the following question
"lf husband deserts his wife, wnicn a., 70
the most abandoned, the man or thewomah!
-"Tha. en-. has got cold said
friend to. Jcrrold. pointing to domestic In
vorite. "Yes, " Jerrold replied, "the poor
thing is subject to cat-arrh.
What is the difference between boy
running after girl and a boy running after
n carriage? One chases the miss and the 9TH
or misses the chaise.
H"Is the President College graduate n
inquired n young lady Of not very extensive
information. eyes" said Quilp, OF the
Boston Post, loosely "he took his degree at
the Electoral College"
MAKE TuN Harry Send your little child
to bed happy. Whatever cares press. give it
warm good. night kiss, as it goes to its p'l'
low. The memory OF this in the stormy
years which fate may have in store Tor the
little one, will DO like Bethlehem's star to
the bewildered shepherds.
How TO PRosPrR--Young mechanics, who
would prosper in business. have only TWO rules
TO live up to, to insure success. First, do your
work as your customer wishes to have it done.
The other rule is to do it by the time you
promise to have IL done. These two rules
complied with, and there is little danger OF
afailure.
Tho official statement Of losses in the
late battles ut Chancellorville is as follows
Killed $3.50; wounded 1857. The number
reported killed will bo varied when tho list
is collected with the list Of exchanged pris-
oners received from Richmond. Between l.
700 and l,S60 OF the wounded were but
slightly injured, and were not disabled or OIL
duty for single day.
GROWING ASxIoUs.-The last report from
JEFF. Davis is that he looks careworn and
prays very loud. This reminds one OF our
exchanges of the old negro who was going
across nm arm Of tho sea in an open boat,
when the wind was high. He dropped his
oar and exclaimed-"0, Lord, l neber ax
any favor OBJ you; but il you cher gwine to
do anything for Caesar, nows yer time!'
Posr OFFICES IN MAINE.-The names Of
the fifteen offices. with the revenue Of which
each pay, we annex Us follows:
Augusta $4,000. Bath 1000, Bangor
1000, Belfast ,292, Biddeford l $40, Bruins
wick 1864, Calais 1000, Eastport l ,l53,
Gardiner l,275, Hallowell $40, Lewiston
1893, Portland 1000. Rockland ,440, Saco,
l,253, Waterville !, 030.
Speaking of old age Cicero SAYS: And
thus il is that young men seem to me to die,
lust as when the violence of the flame is ex.
tinguished by food Of water; whereas old
men die, us the exhausted fire goes out, spon-
taneously, without the exertion Of any force
and as fruits when they are green are pluckcd
by force from the tree, but when ripe and
mellow drop of. so violence takes away their
lives from youths, maturity from old men
a state which to me indeed is so delightful
that tho nearer approach to death, sem,
as it were.to be getting sight Of land, and at
length, after a long voyage, to DO just coming
into harbor.
SHARP.-A correspondent Of the New York
Tribune. describing the duels OF the sharp
shooters on the Rappahannock, previous to
Hooker's advance, says:
At one time during the day, in n pit near
at hand, heard rebel snap his gun several
times but it missed FIRE, much to his disgust.
for could hear him swear when it Jailed to
90 of One Of our men amused at his per-
plcxity, called out:
"Hello there. where did you get your per-
cussion caps?"
They're northern copperheads," was his
quick response.
A HERo.-Commcnting on the late arrest
and sentence Of Yallandingham, the editor OF
tho Saratoga Republican and Sentinel says:
"Should Lincoln dare to approve OF this
senteace, then. oh, then, that zoe were Gov.
ernor of the State Of Ohio. for one month";"
This brings to mind the valiant Bob:
AcREs-If Beverly should ask you what
kind of man your friend Acres is, do tell
him am devil of fellow.
ABSOLUTELY be sure l shall. I'll say
YOU are determined dog-hey Bob!
ACRES Yes, do Tell him generally kill
q man n week. and that keep o private
burying ground Of my own.
CONDITION OF TIE CoyFEpERACY.-The n.
Orleans correspondent Of tho New York
Times says that when the gallant Col. Grier-
son reached Now Orleans after his wild ride
through Mississippi, he said to Gen. Shcp-
ley:
al tell you, General, no one can pass thro
that country without knowing that the Con-
fcderacy is broken up; it isamerc shell with
nothing in it. The negroes are not working,
but flying from place to place. We met
many with handouts on, and released them.
Their crops of this year cannot DO realized,
and the whole slave system is utterly demor-
allied in the State OF Mississippi"
EEwhat contemplate scamp, says an ex-
change paper, is the person who will take
paper q year or two without paying forit, and
then, without giving any reason for his con- |
duct, refuse to take it from the post Office
Such fellow Is disgrace to the community In
which he lives, and deserves the undisguised
scorn of every honorable citizen.
We are sorry to say VIC know OF few such |
fellows who have treated us in that way, and
we think we shall publish their names, that
their neichbors may be ON their guard. For he
who will cheat the printer, will have no scru-
Piles about cheating anybody else.-Bdh Times.