The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1863-08-26

19e...el...s..ea.1 .a1a.al.a.......a..Aa-1.al1aae
How to keep q Hotel. EE
A New Orleans paper Of old date CO.,
tains the following excellent story which
may as well bo handed out a. laugh
catcher in these times of gloom:
Several weeks ago two we'll known zen.
tleuen Of this city went travelling for the
benefit Of their health, and concluded 10
try the famous Hot Springs of old "Rsck.
ensack." There being neither river. rail.
road, nor canal to take q body to the
Springs, our travellers hired horses at their
point Of debarkation, to ride in that man.
ner to their destination. They unluckily
did not follow the right road, or else there
was no right road to follow at any rate
they got lost, and after fatiguiup days'
ride through barren and inhospitabis
wilderness, they came to a neat little build.
ing standing alone in the woods with farm
ing appcndages around. Our travellers
halted and hallooed. A great, tall, raw
boAed giant of fellow stepped out.
"Well, gentlemen, I recken We kim" said
the big one, ''and welkim to boot. This is
a hotel"
The travellers, although they did not like
the cut Of the landlords jib, dismounted,
we're relieved of their horses, and were soon
:egaling themselves over good country
supper Of corn dodgers, bacon, milk, fried
chickens and coffee It was regular coun-
try supper, but with their whetted uppetites
our invalids enjoyed it amazingly.
After supper the gigantic landlord sat on
the porch with them talking, laughing,
cracking jokes, and treating occasionally to
some good old rye, of which he appeared
to have plentiful stock. The invalids set
him down for regular ''brick," and we're
still better pleased when lighted at last to
nice soft feather beds, with the whitest and
sweetest Of sheets.
II tell you what il is, Bill" said Tom, AZ
they were sinking sso,ly into tha emhraca-
of Sumnos, "this fellow keeps a nice place,
il it Is out here ia the woods"
That's fact, replied Bill, 'and I sup
pose its cheap place, too; but like Il,
and I'm willing to pay the full city figure
on it,"
Next morning our travellers were aroused
by their ugly but affable landlord, and re-
galed with a breakfast, il possible, still
more appetising than the last nights sup
per had been. The horses were brought
around and it was cviden. tha. they too
had been well cared for. One of the trav-
elers pulled out his wallet, and said to the
big entertainer
"Well, Landlord, you keep first rate
little hotel out here better than We ex--
pected to find. We are much pleased with.
1t, and now want to know what the dam.
age is"
The landlord drew himself up, and put
ting On very solemn look, said: Gentle
men, am pleased to hear yer satisfied.
The bill is two hundred and seventy Ave
dollars"
"How much do you say, sir Z" asLed tho
travellers, both startled
The big one drawing h,mself up little
higher, and looking still more solemn, re-
piled, distinctly and emphatically, 1.-TWO
hundred and seventy five dollars, gentle
men,"
DO I hear you Alright, sir do you really,
mean to charg, US two hundred and seven.
ty-five dollars for two meals, and lodging,
and horse feed ~ "Gentlemen," said tho
landlond, with the most alarming sang
froid, that's no mistake Two hundred
and scventy-fiye dollars is the bill" The
invalids got scared. They did not feel
strong enough to fight and II they had.
could never have hoped to make any thing
out OF the ungainly giant xho stood so,
composedly before them. Without saying
another word the traveller with tho wallet
it and peeled its different pockets,
and succeeded in handing over the full
amount required. The landlord thanked
his guests politely, and hoped if they should;
e:er pass that way again, that they would
give him call.
The travellers were now on their horses,
and prepared, like the famous cavaliers in
James novels, to resume their solitary ride.
Before getting far off. however, the traveller
who had to dsgorge, turned in his saddle.
and hailed the landlord
II say, landlord" he shouted "bcfo,c +
go, I'D just like to ask you one question:
q civil qucstiou-which YOU cant take Of.
fence at"
Fire ahead, gentlemen" was the an
swer. ''ye've paid yer bill, and yer welkim,
10 ask anything withou. offence"
swell, bow. in the name Of heaven, did
you come to charge US two hundred and
seventy five dollars for one nights accom-
not worth more thar five or six
dollars at the outside"
"Certainly. gentlemen, I'll tell yer, and
welkim. Yer see keep hotel and some-,
times has customers md sometimes T
hasn't. When hasn't, I has to charge
accordin'; and as you are the first custom
ers I've had well nigh on to year, yer bill
was little bigger'n it mought ha' bin
The hotel has to be KEEP up,
gentlemen, and when customers is sca'cc,
has to charge accoldin'."
Good morning. landlord" said both the.
aad they rode off satisfied.
They didn't go on to the Springs, how
ever. They took tho back track for the
river, and returned to this city for more
money. the big hotel keeper having pretty
we'll cleaned them out. Re.supplicd with
funds, they are now off to the Virginia
Springs; being unwilling to trust them.
selves again among the hotels of Arkansas
interior. s
They declare. though, that the big land.
lord who feeced them is a capital fellow
all sorts of a fellow-and knows how to-
keep hotel into the bargain.
HWe clip from the Chicago Daily
Journal the following on State Elections: :,
CALIFORNIA The election in California
takes place on the % Of September. Tho
election OF Superintendent Of Public In.
and Judges Of Supreme Court
will not take place until October 81.
DELAwARE.--This State will vote for q
Governor, November 10. in place Of Viii.
lam Cannon, the present ntincombent. whose