Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1863-06-03
ADVICE 10 4 YOUNG LADY
AFTER TER MARRIAGE.

TThE following letter to Young lady" or
i5naly appeared several years ago. It is
written in a style unusually agreeable, and
breathes throughout, a spirit Of genueness
and excellent sense, which no young person
can read without pleasure snd instruction.
Numerous solicitations have been made for
It's republication, and We are happy to gratify
our correspondents, and also pay merited
compliment to the esteemed author. Eds
" You are now married, and as is usual on
such occasions, your friends and acquaintances
will profess to wish you JOY. Many will do
SO as an act Of common civility, feeling little
or nothing of the sentiment which the words
import When, however, express sOlici-
tude for your welfare, I think I am entitled
. to the credit of meaning something more than
the performance of an empty ceremony. But
when congratulating you I know no better
way of proving the sincerity of nay profess
ions, than by rendering you my advice as to
some Of the means I deem necessary to be
pursued in order to render your new situation
matter Of real felicitation.
"Young people are very apt to think, if
they think at all on the subject, that when
they get married their cares are all scattered
to the winds, and that their happiness is seeur-
ed for life. So far from the truth is such a
thought, that when reality awakens them from
the dream Of uninterrupted bliss, they find
their sorrows certainly doubled, and whether
their Joys are to be increased or not depends
mostly on themselves; and they viii still find
causes enough to interrupt their happiness,
though each should do their best to prevent
or counteract them. One thing is certain, that
the married state may be made more happy
than the single life, or It may become a state
Of perfect wretchedness; and whether your
present situation is to be better than that you
exchanged for it, depends much or mostly On
yourself It therefore a matter the first in
order, as well as the first in importance toyou,
that YOU should eudeayor to ascertain the
means best calculated to secure continuance
of that happiness which doubtless you expect
ed to experience in the welded life. On this
subject I VIII endeavor to assist you.
That you were happy during the period
spent in courtship, you win not deny. That
you were so, arose from the consciousness that
you loved and were beloved in return: and
from the pleasing hope OF moral certainty that
you would attain the object of your affections.
This hope is realized, and that you are happy
now, you need no one to tell you. # litis the
reciproeated affections Of your husband which
make you happy, it is yours which make him
so; hence mutual affections constitute the source
ofconnuBial bliss and it is equally true that
the iteleity Of the married state toZzo,cs the loss
of those affections. On the continuance Of the
affections, then, no less than on the choice of
a husband, depends your happiness in the
welded life. The means to insure a oontin-
uanoe Of those affections, is the subject next
In course for your consideration.
So numerous are the instances in which
married people have lost their affections for
each other, that the unreAecting have hastily
concluded, that It is easier to acquire than re-
tain them. If this be true, it goes to prove
that you should be more assiduous to retain
the affections of your husband, than you were
TO gain them. But it is not true to the extent
which many believe. It is very unphilosoph-