The dollar weekly bulletin. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1862-1864, 1863-12-31
An Editors Experience on Ice.

An Editors Experience on Ice.
Brick Pomroy of the La Cross Democrat
borrowed pair Of 'skeets' and-thus give
his experience on ice:
Right beneath one of our wind ows, from
morn till mid night, we see youngsters anG
oldsters twisting their legs in all kinds o
conceivable shapes. We can not pick up
paper, but an article on skating meets oul
eyes. Everybody says it's fun, and that:
all every body knows about it, for we have
tried it. Last night about gas time, after
reading a glowing description of life on
skates, we prepared for our first attempt
and sailed forth to join the merry crowd
We had on pair Of stoga boots, trousers
tucked inside, Robert tail coat and a white
hat. We went down to the ice, aud gave a
boy two shillings in shinplasters, for the use
of his implements.
We, with the assistance of friend fixed
on the skates, and stood erect as a barber's
| pole We have confidence, even as Peters
| faith.
Encouraged at the sight of some ladies on
the bridge looking at the skaters, we struck
out. A slant to the right with the right
| foot-a slant to the left, and just then we
saw something on the ice, stopped over to
pick it up? On our feet again-two slants
to the right and one to the left, accompa-
with the left foot, and we sat down with
fearful rapidity, with very little if any Gle
gance? What a set down it was, for We mad g
a dent in the ice not unlike a Connecticut
butter how'll Just then one of the ladies
renarked: oh. Mary look, that feler with
the white hat, amt got his skates on right
place Ditto thought we. Just then a
ragged little devil sang out rs he passed us,
| 'HeilOw old Timber legs' and we rose sud-
denly and put after him. Three slides to
III ght-two to the left, and away went
our legs-one to the east, and the other to
the west causing an immense fssure in our
pants, and another picture of butter tray
in the cold--oh how cold lice Then
the lady, we know she was one by the re-
mark she made-agan spoke and said. Oh,
lock, Mary, that chap with the white hat
has sat down on his handkerchief We
rose about as gracefully as a saw-horse,
when Mary said, Guess 'ta:Dt a handke5-
chief, Jane 'and Mary was right, it wasn't a
hand kerchief-not a bit of it. Just then a
friend came along and proffered his coat-tai!
as a 'steader.' We accepted the contiuation
of his garment, and up the river we went
about ton rods, when shy to the right by
the leader caused US, the wheelhOrSe, to
shoot off on a tangent heels up! But the
ice is very cold this season.
We tried it again. A glide one way, a
glide aud half the other, when whack came
our bump of philoprogenatyenes on the
ice, and we saw a million of stars dancng 2
around our eyes, like ballet girls at the
Bowery theatre How that shock went
through our system, and up and down our
spinal column. Lightning could not have
cork screwed it down a creased sapling with
greater speed and more exilarating effect
Boarding house butter nor warantee deco, ,
could not have stuck closer than we did
and a dozen ladies looking at us-and our
assured pants.
'Hellow. old cock, sang out that ragged
imp again, and we were helpless Soon we
got up and made another trial with better
success. Perhaps we had skated in our pc
culiar style fifteen feet, when a blundering
chap came up behind, and we sat down with
our tired head pillowed in his lap-and he
swearing at us, when it was his own fault
How cold the ice was there tool Every spot
where we made our debut on the ice-how
cold it wasl Oar bear skin drawers were
no protection at all We tried again, for
the papers all say it's fun. and down came
our Roman Grecian nose, on the cold iulip
material, and little drops of crimson ran
down our shirt bosom on the cold ice. Once
n ore We tried skating-made for the shore
sat down and counted damages.
Two shillings thrown away. Seven lat
eral and one fronterial bum5s. One i'm
mense assure in as handsome a pair of ten
dollar cassimcres as a man ever put his legs
in. One rupture on the knee extending to
the bone. Four buttons from our vest. a
fragmented watch crystal, aud baclIache big
enough to divide among the children of Is
raei. IF you catch us on the SIN Doth. glossy,
chill-freezing. treach erous, decetful, slip
perry and siip-uppery ice again, you'll know
it. II any one ever hears of our skating
again. they will please draw on us at sight
for the bivalves and accompanying dOcu-
ments. We hvae got through skating. It's
a vexation of spirit, Of business, of flesh,
and tearer Of trousers It's head bump
ing back-aching, leg wearing dangerous in
stitution, and we warn people against ska
ting. We tried it, and shan't be able to
walk for a month. Skating clubs are
hum bug, and all the rascally youngest wish
to get the ladies at it, that they may see if
they, too, don't say the ice is dreadful coldi
It's nothing to us, but the ladies will do
we'll to let skates alone. unless they are
more younger and more elastic than we are.
Oh how cold cold the ice is-we can feel
it yet!