The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1863-09-10
NUMBER "A.

! a barn this summer " haln't had no time TO
write letters to folks. Excoos me.
Numeris changis has TOXIN place since we
met in the body polite. The body polite, in
| fack, is sick. | sumtimes think it has got
biles, friend Wales.
In my country we'eve got war, while
your country, in conjunction with Cap'n Sens,
of the Alobarmy, manetanes nootral posi-
shun
I'm afraid can't write goaks when | sit
about it. Oh no, I guess not.
Yes sir, we've got war, and the troo Pat
rit has to make sacrifisses, you bet.
| have already given two cousins to the
war; & | stand reddy to sacriliss my wifes
brother ruthern not see the rebelyin krusht
And if wuss comes to Wuss I'll shed ev'ry
drop of blood my able bodid relations has got
| to prosekoot the war | think sumbody
ought'r be prosekooted, 4 it may as well be
the war as anybody else. When git a COAX
| in fit onto me its no use to try ter stop me.
! You hearn about the draft, friend Wales no
doubt. It caused sum squirmin, but it was
conducted fairly | think, for it hit all classes.
| 1t is troo that Weudal Philips, who is Amer
lean citizen of African scent, escaped, but 50
did ValIandiggum, who is conservativ, and
who was resuntly sent South, tho lie would
have bin sent to the Dry TOrtoogus If Abe
had sposed for mint that the Iortoogusses
would keep him.
We hain't got any daily paper in our town.
but we've got female SEWN circle, which
ansers the same purpuss, and we wasn't long
in suspents as to who was drafted
One young man who was drawn claimed
to be exempt because he was the only son Of
a widowd mother, who supported him.
A few able-bodied dead men was drafted,
but whether their heirs will have to pay 3
hundred dollars a peace for EN- is question
for Within, who pears to be tinkerin up this
draft bizness right smart. hope he makes
good wages.
| think most of the conscripts in this place
will 90. A few will go to Canada, stoppin on
their way at Concord, n. H., where | under
stand there is a Musium Of Harris
You see Pm sassy, friend Wales, hittin all
sides; but no otfense is ment. You know |
amt politician, and never was. vote for
Mr. Union-that's the only candidate I've got.
! | claim however, to have well balanced
mind tho my ideas Of a well balanced mind
differs from the ideas Of a partner once had,
whose name it was Billson. Billson and me
orianized a strollin dramatic company, and
we played The Drunkard, or the Falling Saved,
with real drunkard. The play didn't take
particularly, and says I}llson to me- Let's
| give 'em some immoral dramy. We had a
| large troop onto our hands, cOnsistln OF eight
tragedians and a bass drum, but | says No,
| Bilson; and then says |, ldlson, you haln't
got well-balanced mind. Says he, Yes
have old boss fly (he was a low cuss)-yes |
have. ] have mind, says he, that balances
in any direction that the public rekires-
! That's wot | call well-balanced mind. |
sold out and bid adoo to Billson. He is now
an outcast in the State of Vermont The mis-
'rable man once played Hamlet There wasn't
any orchestry, and wlsllin to expire to
to slow moosic, he died piayin on clarion
EFT himself, interspersed with heart rendin
groans, & such is the world Alars! alars
how onthanlfu we air to that Providence
(which kindly allows us to live and borrow
money, and fail and do bizniss.
| But to return to our subieck. With our
resunt CRATE triumps on the Mississippi the
Father of Waters (and them is waters no faith
er need feel 'shamed of-twig the wtilism p
and the cheerin look of things in other places,
reckon we shant want any Muslem ofhearts.
And what upon airth do the people of Con
cord, N. H., want a Aluslum Of Harris for?
Hain't you got the State, House nov q and
what more do you want?
But all this is Turin to the purpose Of this
note, arter all. My objeck in now addressin
you is to civ you some advice, friend Wales,
about managin your wife, bizness I've had
over thirty years experience in.
You had a good wedin. The papers hav
good deal to say about wilkins in connec-
ton Herewith Not knowings what that air
and SO | frankly tells you, my noble lord,
dock of the throne, | can't Zactly say wheth-
er we had em or not. We was both very
much frustrated, but / never enjoyed myself
better in my life.
Dowtless, your supper was ahead Of Ourn
As regards eatin' uses Baldnsvlle was alters
shally. But you can git good meal in
New York, & cheap too lou can git half
mackriIl at Dclmonico's or Mr.. Mason DOry's
for six dollars, and billed pertaters throwed in.
AS | sed, manage my wife without any
particular trouble. When | fust commenst
trainin her. | institooted series
of experiments, and them as didn't work
Iabanding'd You'd better do simmiler. Your
wife may objeck to gittin up and buldin the
fire in the mornin. but if you commence with
her at once you may be able to overlIum this
preioodiss. | regret to obsarye that didn't
commence arIy enuff. | wouldn't have you
s'pose was ever kicked out Of bed. Not at
all | simply say in regard to bildin fires
that didn't commence arly enutf. 1t was
ruther cold mornin when fust proposed the
idee to Betsy 1t wasn't well received, and
found myself layin on the floor putty sud
dent thought I'd git up and bid the fire
myself
of course now your married you can eat
onions. | allus did and if know my own
hart, | alIus will My daughter, who is go
in on II, and is risky, says theys dlsgustln.
And speakin Of my daughter reminds me that
quite number of young men have suddenly
discovered that I'm a very entertainin old fel-
Ter, and they visit us frekently, specially on
Sunday evenins. One young chap-a law
yer by habit--don't cum as much as he did.
My wife's father lives with us. His lnteleck
totters little and he saves the paper contain
in the proceedings Of our State Legislator.
The old genl'man likes to read out loud, and
he reads tolrable well. lie eats hash freely,
which makes his voice clear; but as he on
fortunately has to spell the most Of his words,
may say he reads slow. WAL whenever
this lawyer made his appearance | would set
the old man a readin the legslativ reports
kept the young lawyer up one night till II
clock listenin to a lot Of acts III regard to d
draw bridge away orr in the east part OF the
State, havin sent my daughter to bed at half
past s. He hasn't been there since, and | I'M
derstan he says go round swindlin the pub
lie
never attempted to reorganize my wife
but once | shall never attempt it agin. I'd
been to public dinner and had allowed my
self to be betrayed into drinIin several peo
pies healths; and wishin to make em as ro-
bust as possible | continued drinkin their
healths until my own became affected. Con
sekens was, presented myself at Betsy's bed
side late at night with considerable Ticker
concealed about my person. had sumhow
got perseshun of hos8whip on my way home,
and rememberin sum cranky observashuns Of
Mrs Wards in the 1norniu I suapt the whip