The Morgantown monitor. [volume] (Morgantown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1863-1864, 1863-05-09
LIFE Of STONEWALL JACKSON
IN4THREE VOLUMES.
VOLUME l.
CHAPTER FIRST.

The author has seen many biographical sAetcn-
es of the renowned "Stonewall," but they all
abound in inconsistencies, untruths ana lnacCu-
racies In the hands OF some historians, MS lie,
like the short India rubber blanket OF long SOL
der is stretched to suit the subject 10 otners
his eventful history has been as lump OF clay
in the hands of a child-capable of any degree
of plastic distortion or beauty, from Il Hindoo
idol to a winged statue of Apollyon, the Lovely.
Some there lie who declare him myth or will
o'-the-wisp, dancing jack of the Wilderness
the creation of q mind-o- any amount OF MINDS
-disordered but they all err. Stonewall Jack
son is q fixed fact and that his life may not 60
down into darkness, that his deeds OF daring
may not he viped out forever, like sum IN SIM
nile division on a schoolboy's slate, historian IS
needed-one that is faithful, capable and unblas-
ed like those. for instance who do the blogra-
pbcal sketches for the New morning dallles-one
that is wholly competent, and careth not a pin
for Northern praises nor Southern commentator;
in brief. one like those who write the oiographl-
cal histories for the papers aforesaid Such an
one is Ammo Domin and he herewith presents
history which he is willing to take his afhdavy IS
ms reliable and worthy as though it was written
for one of those immaculate sheets-the n. ! ORR
morning dailies.
CHAPTER SECOND.
Stonewall Jackson was born very early IN lite
in fact so Young was he at that interesting
period of his history, that the date thereof lurk-
eth not in his own memory, nor yet in that of the
present biographer Sufficient be it to say he
was born. The ancestry of S. ]. has hitherto
been shrouded in doubt Some have asserted
that he is descended from Jack, surnamed the
Giant Killer, and that the 'sseven-leagued boots
of the aforesaid J the G.. K. ARE yet in his pos
session. which accounts for the CELEBRITY of his
movement. Others declare him to be an Off
shoot of the Jacobin family, the founder of which
was Jackaloo the Chinese Pirate but they are
all wrong Stonewall Jackson is descended in
curved line from the Wandering Jew. In early
time the Jew family was RICH but one evil day
the head of it went down. into Egypt "bucked !"
against Pharoah, and came back with nary She
kel, having lost them all in that interesting game.
From that time till the discovery of the MisSis-
s,opi river, the family was too poor to have a
name Stonewalls grandfather ran tiat-boat
on the aforesaid river, and was extravagantly
fond of the classic game Of "old sledge.' He
married, and in the course of time had four sons
whom he uamcd-High, Low, Jack, Came
Jack followed the example of his father. married,
and bad one son, the example of this sketch, who
was naturally called Jacks son, and in the course
of time, Jackson. \ family trait turks in Stone
wall. for 1T any critica! stage of tie game he is
sure to "turn up" and become the trump.
VOLUME II.
CHAPTER FIRST
Young Jackson in his youth gave great pro-
mise of future usefulness, so much so that when
he was sent to school he invariably ran away to
play 'tag'' aud 'leap frog" to the constant
study of which he owes his agility. One day
Jackson's peer, learning Of his sons truancy, de-
termined to chastise him, and upon favorable
opportunity. collared the incipient hero and bent
him over his knee thus throwing 4 prominent
part of the youth into bold relief. Mrs. jack
son 1.-THE motherl then seized shirt board with
both hands, and proceeded to bring the young
stcr TO Il sense of his duty by divers ponderous
blows Young jackson squirmed like fish
worm: but with that Spartan trmneSs that has
ever distinguished him. shed not Il tear. At
about the orticth blow the old lady paused,
while the old gent ceased on his hold, and enqui-
red, 'Mv son wilt thou go 10 school in futurc|'
The young hero raised his head, wiped his sleeve
across his nose, and looking up in his fathers S
face. said - I say, old gentleman, why am
like cabin passenger on a ranal boat?' My
sou, | know not" sagely observed Jackson, Sc
nior. "Why," said the young incorrigible, with
a knowing wink, cts because | am boarded
asternn The poor, outraged man could only
calculate, aboard him again, old lady, board
him again !" Not L. said the mother drop
ping the shirt board, ''you might as well larrup
stone araN
CHAPTER SECOND.
From the dag of the circumstance just related,
the hero has gone by the name of Stonewall
jackson. HBut, mother" said the father as the
released youth skcdaddled out of the room to
finish his game of "tag" 'What shall We do
with the boy?' "Do? why send him to West
Point-he amt good for uothin' else" Stone
wall went 10 West Point. Many interesting
events occurred during his pupilage there, but
following the example of the New York morning
dailies-l COndenSc.
Stonewall Jackson passed critical examine
ton, and graduated number two from the FOOT
of his class and the rebellion having common
ced, was Immediately appointed a Brigadier Cen
eral by the Southern Confederacy- L. States
Government paving his livery stable bill at West
Point and his passage to the rebel lines. While
passing through our army, he stopped to make
sketch of our Qualifications, when an inconsider-
ate sentinel demanded his pass. The sentinel
was Immediately sentenced to be hung, but was,
afterwards, allowed to resign.
The New York morning daiies have given such
an accurate account of Stonewall's military ex-
PLOTS, that We need no more than to give brief
epitonie, taken from that same reliable source.
HIS first battle was at Bull Run, in 1861 where
he slew whole division of the Federal army
with his own hand, and then got slowed himself.
In this battle both armies were defeated, but I'M
fortunately neither of them found it out in time
to take advantage of it. The Union army was
greatly oGtnumbered. but "gained material