Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1863-04-09


"WELL, Patrick" asked the doctor,
chow do you feel to-day" "Ocb. doc.
tor, l enjoy very poor health entirely
The Romatics are very distrcssin' indade
when l go to slape lay awake all night,
and my toes is swelled as big as a goose's
hens egg, so that whia I stand up ! fall
down Immediately"
! A COLONEL was boasting tha. he had
sprung from high family in LELAND
Yes" remarked an Irishman, Il have
I seen some Of the family so high that
their feet could not touch the ground"
THERE are pretended patriots who will
hold anything except their tongues; keep
anything except their word, and lose moth
ing but their character
WHAT is the difference between forms
aud ceIem onies? Why, you sit upon forms
and stand upon ceremonies.
"MIKE, what sort Of potatoes are those
you are planting?" Raw ones, to be sure;
your honor wouldn't be thinking would
plant boiled ones"
"PADDy, where's the whisky l gave you
to clean the windows with" ooh, master
l Just drank it, and | thought if 1
breathed on the s ass it would be all the
same.
a YOUNG gentleman of our acquaint-
ance says he thinks that young ladies who
refuse good offers of marriage are too No
ing by half
The Poughkeepsie Press says: The
best capital for a young man is q capital
young wife" 1t is, at least, sort of
capital that is generally "productiye"-a
point always considered safe in making
investments.
The explanation of the cap Of liberty
is this: After the death Of C@ ar, the
conspirators, who had secured his death,
marched out with cap, as the ensign OF
liberty on a spesr-the cap without head
indicating that the tyrant had lost his
power. From that fact, and for this rea-
son, it has ever since been an emblem of
liberty"
THERE is a goose owned by man in
Norridgewock, Maine, which is sixty
eight years old, Though attaining this
green old age, she nevertheless is not
green old goose. The secret of her Ion.
gevity consists in the fact that she hid
away for several seasons at Christmas
time, until she became so tough that they
could not kill her, and so they let her live
on.
FASCINATING gent to precocious little
girl. ''Io are very nice little girl, you
shall be my wife when you grow up
Little girl: "No, thank you, l don't
want to have husband, but Aunt Bessy
does; l heard her say So" Sensation on
the part Of Aunt Bessy.
THERE is now an odor ofloyalty about
Washington, says an exchange, con-
trasting the past with the present What
peculiar odor the editor means can be
found out by visiting wheat field full
of negro labores about the middle of bar
vest.
WHEN a democrat finds himself ap
| plauded by the abolitionsts, is it nc
about time for him to inquire, "Wha
have l done that mine enemies praist
me?"
IL consequence OF the extraordinary ris'
in the price OF quinine. the Medical De
partment has determined to commen
the manufacture of it at laboratories in
New York and Philadelphia.
a DUTCHMAN was summoned in court
to identify stolen hog. On being asked
if the hog had any ear mark, he rep!ied
"T'e only ear mark l say vas his tai
var cut off.
In our adversely it is night with us,
and in the night many beasts OF prey
range abroad and keep their denS throu8t
the day.
Men of the noblest disposition think
themselves hsppiest when others share
their happiness with them.
"WINrER is still lingering in the lap
of Spring" Spank it SPRING and let 1T