Clearfield Republican. [volume] (Clearfield, Pa.) 1851-1937, 1863-09-23
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BRccARIA TOWNSHIP, Sept, 8, lS6;

knee-Knocklng legs, Oy-the-by, carrie
him straight to the Executive Mansion
where he stood gazing at the beautitu
building, gaping like a frightened ape,
muslng and wondering, until he was az
cosled by Lincoln's "cerJerus" who aske
him If bo wanted 20 see the resident
"yes, replied the deRl-lunatic, " want B
get an Office" go and ring for admit
lance This was a severe task. AZ frs
he could MT find the hell-knob. Afte
being shown that instrument, he could n
ring the bell. He then exclaimed. in nc
cents of mingled dismay and and-wbo
else poetry "Oh! difficulty, why stand
est thou in my way? Get thee hence
detes!able drudge don't wound m,
plide. At this critical iuncture, h
wheeled around to thrust his spleen upor
these horrible incubi, by which he imaein
ed he was surrounded, and, in the exer
ton, rang the bell
A servant soon appeared at the door
and he was by the impulse of attraction
drawn into the presence of that mighty
and august potentate, Abraham Lincoln.
Alter formal reception, the President
directed the apparent stranger to a seat
Here a long and deep silence epsued
abe" took u pinch of snuff. and peered
at the mau with all the force of OPTICS
that he could brirg to bear long and an x
iously ABE" surveyed him, first taking q
sqUnt at his Uranium, then al his nose,
more like an Elephants proboscus than
the o'actory organ of human beirg ;l-
his dull organs of vision was next the
oWect Of "Abe's" glances next his arms
and shoulders; and then his eyes fell up
on the mans thighs, legs and feet indeed,
he took regular cdpapie view of him.
Lincoln continued his scrutiny until
bright flash o. recollection suddenly broke
the darkness caused by long absence,
and separation, he thought that the man
who sat before him was an old acquaint-
ance. He harbored doubt in his mind,
but determined to pry into the mystery,
so he exclaimed, :" is your name Ben ?"-
The man looked upscared, stupefed and
trembling, and said "yes, sir" "Where
are you from ?" vas again asked "Le-roy,
Illinois," was the response. All doubt
vas ROW removed, and an animated con-
versation was began and kept pp for some
time, but | cannot nariaie the whcle of
1t: II wss a chat OF peculiar nonseuce.-I
When they before met | cannot teR.-l
Perhaps they had "split rails" together
or, perhaps, they had passed night in |
drunkenness, in some unoccupied pig-sty,
or goose-pen. BAD enough to have either
disgraced by them.) But where am 90
ing! Surely my peu is running away
with me Ben made known his busir sss,
and Lincoln said
Well, do Mt know whether | can give
you an office or not. | must ask YOU a
few questions! do MI know your geane-
alogy, so | will begin thus:
LlNCoLS.-What was the political char
icter of your great grandfather
BEN.-Iraditlon says he was tory of
he revolutionary times.
L. What was the name ofyour grand
athcr2 |,
b. lie was Connecticut blue-iahts
nan.
L-What did your father ever do for his
ounlry
B. He hoped that the Mexicans would
welcome our soldiers with bloedy hands
o hospital graves" can mind that well. y
b. Taking pinch Of snuff and peer i
ng in his eyesl- What have you done s
o merit my confdenceY i
B. ! argue that our constitution is
covenant with death, and an agl cement I
With hellw and ! advise the authorities
o import Robespiere's great guilotine 10 0
'ehead its absitors e
l. Smiling, What do you think / p
m doing with the ship Of State! How n
m steering her? Ii
b. Overhauling her, painting her hull n
rcen, and her deck red with blood, and c.
cure steering straight to ruin. C,
l. What else am doing with her? 81
B. Destroying her best sailors. d
L. like to ask you questions-you W
lSwer so well. What sea- is she now W
ling in? ST
B. In the glorious sea of disunion. il
L. Who made what the Democrats W
u our government ci
B. a band Of traitors, led by Washing al
n, king of treason. VI
H. For what was il erected! g
b. 10 give universal suffrage TO all W
asses of white men. al
b. Was that consistent With bunanityo A
B. No sir. They did Mt Worship the W
mortal niger. sv
L Do you love this government? Ii
p love nothing but the niger. Ii
l. Can you command a niger repi- ur
ent? eS" 1's' e
b Can't command even my own man. M
RS. ="
h. What can you do if / emplov Won m
B. Rob, steal, lie and murder. iaI
b. What do your friends think of Won ,;c S
b. Have Mt got any. Some people cali M,
a mean, ignorant, drunken scoundrel m
l. Do you hate the copperheads? WI
B. With heart, soul mind and strength as
IT, Why2 orr
B. Because they want the whole coun- =
, and its constitution preserved. tn
- What is Congressg TL
s. A deliberat!ve body submissive TO INF
will of the President. is
. Would you risk your life on the PIT
tle-held? tri
D. No, no, no. beginning 10 cry and ari
We " towards the door. sen
lay stay said Lincoln, III ask you eiu
:, ,'ng more-you've answered we'll clol
snal have an office forthwith. I
'00A around immediately, and il there