The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1863-12-04
Letters from Majer Jack Downing.
NUMBER TwENTY-SEyEN.

DowNINGyITLE, Nov. y, 1855.
To the Ed,fers Of the DaJook:
The very next day after I writ you my
last letter, l got one from Linkin, tellin me
must cum on without fail. He sed he was
in peck of trubbil about his messige-that
Chase an Seward were pullin rite in contra
ry direcshins, an what to do he didn't know.
So | Jest packed up my things, took my
pipe in my mouth an my old hickory IN my
hand, an started. | strapped my axe on the
outside of my trunk. for this Is the only
wcepin, besides my hickory cane, that ev-
CT carry. Coin down to the cais mel Dea-
con Jenkins, who went on to Washington,
you recollect, to make the Kernels soJer
clothes, an ses he, "Majer, what are yon IA
kin your axe with you to Washington tori"
oval" ses |, deacon, Icxpcct Shall git
awful, tarin mad with them Abelishlnists
this winter Washingion, an thar amt cny
way that | kin work off a fit OF that kind
except by goin ont to the wood-house an
chopin wood. So | determined to take a
long my axe. It's the one the old Gneral
used when he got mad, an l have always
preserved it to remember him, CT noihln
else
l got to Washington all safe, an went dr.
rect to the White House. The tcller who
tends The door didn't know me at first; bnt
when he saw my hickcry he began to open
his eyes, Itell you. Ses he, "You are Ma
jcr Downing, believe" bowin like an scra-
pin his feet, as ef he thot | kecrcd for that.
Scs |, eyes, Tim Maier Jack Downing, an
you Jest tell the President, about as quick
as time will let yoa, that I'm here. % he
run up stairs, an | went after him, stoppln
in the room where the ofiis-seekers have to
wait, to take good look down the Potomac,
to sec eff things looked material. | hadn't
stood thar more'n a mint when who should
cum up behind me but Linkin himself. lie
caught rite hold of my hand, an ses he,
"llajer, how arc you? I'm ticklcd to deth
to sec you;" an he KEEP sllakin my hand as
# he thot it was made of letllcr. Se5 |,
'Kcrnel, do you want me TO help write your
me me:sige?' Ses he, ''of course | do, Ma)er.
"Wal then,' ses I, s'plcascdon't shake that
hand cny more, for you've purity nigh mashed
it now" "Wal" ses he, '.lIajer, couldn't
help it, for il seems as eff Providence sent
you jest in the nick of time" Ses |, show
is that p "NNal," ses he, ''the Cabynet Is
in session, an I've Jest finished tcllin them
one OF ARENAS Wards best stories, an got
'em all into good humor. The mcssige IS
the very thing they met to discuss, an you're
cum rite in the nick OF iime," hlttin me as
he spoke, slap on the back that made the
cold thills run over me.
Nothin would do but must go in an hear
the dscusshin. So walked in as large as
life. 1 knew em all, an they all knew me.
They pretended TO be rale glad to see me,
particularly Stantn; but he needn't try to
deceive me, for under them spectices of his
l see pair of hyena eyes. tell you that
that man will bear watchin. Howsoever, L
sed nolhin; but after the how-do-doos were
over, laid my old hickery on the table, took
out my pipe, an went TO sn,okin. The hef-
mel then called the mcetin TO order, an sed
he wanted short account OF each depart
ment, so he could fix up his messlgc, an he
also wanted the opinion of each one as TO
what he thot ought TO be done with 'he
Southern States attur the rebelyon's crush
ed. Fust, he called upon Seward.
Wal, Seward sed that furrin affairs were
all rite; that he had offered to carry out the
policy of England all over the country, an
set up monarky, CT necessary, to put down
the Dimmycrats, an that upon his faithfully
promisin to do this, the British Government
at once seized the rcbil rams. That as for
the Southern States, he thot the best thing
that could be done with them, for the good
of the country an the CRATE cause OF hulnan-
ity, was to turn 'em all into one big planta-
shin an makeThurlowWeed Chief Manager.
Then Chase spoke. He sed the finances
were in furishn condishin. lie now had
500 printin presses to work maxim money;
thai the debt was only So, 900, 600, 900, 900;
that every body was gittin rich, an that the
way to treat the Southern States an save
the country was jest this: Issue a Procla-
nation that only jest enough cotton should
be raised for him to print greenbacks on, an
then he could control the currency In spite
of all the Copperhead gold spectators in
creashin.
S,antin sed that his department was all
right. That he had got rid of all the cop
perhead ginrals, an had left the track clear
for the next Resident to be a genuine ABB
olishinist. That all that was necessary now
was to keep the war up till after the next
Presidential e.ecshin, an he thot he could
do it. AS for the Southern States, he was
givin the niggers the plantashins an maxim
the whites their slaves.
Then old grandfather Welles got up, stro-
kin his long white beard. He sed that moth
in could save the nashin but gunboats; that
he was buldn one a. day new,. except on