Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1863-11-14

circular railroad round the parlors, she
should have had them, or rather would have
had them, and so | bought that sewing ma.
chine, and what is worse paid for it, If
hadn't paid for it, | could make them take
1t back but as it is cherish no such dcu-
sive hopes, and can only sit down here dis
consoiately. and warn your husbands not to
| go and do likewise
My, or rather her sewing machine came
! then succeeded four days of learning how to
make 1T go-fOur days of the intcrmittcn,
presence OF woman from the factory, who
was sent to teach the machine as the pro-
| pnetors remarked, out whose mission on
| earth 1t seemed to me to he to drive my dear
wife wild, and set her to breaking needles
on the machine
The machine-makers of course sell needles
and everything used about their internal ma
chimes The woman that teaches the ma
chine" | verify believe, has heavy precent
age on all the needles sold by the firm The
woman would come; machine, under her
management, would run perfectly WE'LL
Woman woElI go away; wife would try to
make acquaintance with machine. Machine
would get restive, and, in fit of spite. 90 to
work and break all its needles, one after the
othcr-also, would break some important
screw, or spring or strap, or band, or wedge,
or wheel. Result would be thus: Wife, ina
passion of indignation, headache, chagrin,
passion, lmpatience and spleen, would post
down to factory. Up would come the in.
evtable woman that teaches the machine"
She would look at machine, who recornized
her as an old acquaintance, and would smile
Vislbly from every ounce of its seventv-eight
pounds weight. Woman would smile su-
perclliously at wife, touch IA screw on ma
chime with the tips of her dainty fingers. and
walk away. Machine would go all right for
an hour or two. when needles would break,
also screws, also strings, straps springs and
bands-then the woman, etc
In four days, however, my wife Cha han
mastered the intricacies of the machine. and
Is now Its MASTER and the machine knows
1t, and obcys her accordingly.
But III that distressing interval while the
machine sulkod, she broke three pccks OF
needles, bushcl of screws, gross and Il
halt OF springs, and DESTROYED about mile
and quarter Of leather betting.
However, she has mastered it at last, but |
am not at all certain that the last evil is not
worse than the first.
In her triumph at having won victory
over the obstrcperOus machine, she sews up
seams TO the extent Of four or five miles a
day.
have tried to keep her in work. have
"O"S"' 'NCHtg VI tHlTtN pieces OF cotton
cloth, which she has made up-tiannel, ditto
calico the same wooden also carpet also,
and oicloth, even more also. We have had
the machine month she has made me
shirts enough for Il regiment of Zouaves in
active service; she has made sheets enough
for dozen first class hotels: she has made
me so many pairs Of pantaloons that she has
got SICK OF them before have had chance
10 try nave OF them on, and has begun to
give them away to beggars the amount
and description of garments she has made
for herself could only be stated in three
volumes
Now, having made all the new garments
she could, she has begun to make the others
twice over. Last Monday morning | found
my shirts scwed together with double seam
all around, so that might as we'll try to get
into an unopened sardine-boX She has
taken in hand four babies, of ages ranging
from two to eight years, and has gone TO
making clothes for them. She has male
them so many garments that each one Of
those unfortunate children has to be undrcss-
ed at least nine times in afcrno IN, to try
on the products of our wonder sewing ma
chine.
expect every minute, that she will make
descent on my Aquarium, and sew my
fishes tails together, or iasten tie Holsters
legs to the breast fins of the GELS. How can
| stop her! l appeal to husbands
have it: will have some shirts made of
vulcanized india rubbcr-if that doesn't
break the machine all to splinter | will buy
halt-inch boier-iron; then, il all else fails
will get Il company of miners and sappcrs to
come and blow the house to thunder while
We are both gone to the theatre.
Hopefully,
q. X. PHTLANDER DoEsTICKs, p. i.