Columbia Democrat and Bloomsburg general advertiser. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1850-1866, 1863-12-05

name from the University books, that the
Old Gentleman repcntcd his acouiesccncc.
"You arc ruined man - cried Russet
in fury.
"l am a made man! ~ retorted Ned,
with perfect GOODNESS.
our prospects are gone"
"My realities have commenced"
"licncelorward you will do nothing for
yourself"
cit is task 1 mean to leave to other
people"
"You know nothing ~
III know the world"
81 hoped you would become steady
young man."
81 always intend to be rising one"
| "lou have lost tho three best years of
your life !"
II have gained three hundred desirable
acquaintance"
THAT remains to bc Proved" quoth
Russot.
IL wish you may live to see it," wns the
rejoindcr of his hopeful ward and it was
shortly after this coloquy between thom
that We were launched into our several ca
recrs Of life Ned became a man about
town; | 10 be wandorer over the world.
Having taken my degree as B. A., 1
was 10 commence my boatiic career as
bear-lcader to young nobleman possess
ing immense patronage in the church,
Appointed 10 preside over his lordship's
traveIing-morality, was compelled to be
|if not a fcld-proachcr at least road
preacher, against the temptations of Che
world and tho flesh; with view of install.
ling myself, thereafter, preacher to the
poor of his lordship's parish, against the
temptations Of the devil.
We got on admirably together. His
noble practice throvo under my ignoblc
preaching. My axioms seemed indeed to
possess a sort of negative attraction for
whatever the pedagoguo intcrdicted the
pupil snutched to his bosom Day after
day was | insulted, quizzod, hoaxed, and
dcfed. There would have been no living
through it all, but for the living which
lay, like land Of Canaan hey ond the will
dcrness, at the end Of the prospect, /
know that suifcrancc was the badge of all
my tribe, and submitted without any aud
iblo murmur.
Three long years did pipe to the dan
cling of my lordly bear; in France, Italy,
Germany, Russia. and Spain now frozen
TO death, now stewod alive, now diluted
with Sowpemaigre, now stuffed like tur-
key with truincs and mous the 6oroost
extremes Of weather and dict were inflicted
without remorsc upon the poor bear lead
er of tutor At length, as the period of
my release was approaching, and felt
that in roquital for the purgatory l had
borne SO patiently his lordship could do no
less than conduct me into tho Paradise oi
Granglcbo, my noble tormentor was
knocked on the head by the moring star Of
Dronthim wachmau; when my applioa'
ton for preforent to the distant cousin
succeeding to the oarldom was answered
by naughty hint that ought to have
taken caro- of my pull; and that the
family wished to hear no further mention
of my name.
A deeper humiliation soon fell on my
professional career than even that Of a
toadying tutorship. One day having beer
idle to attend a meeting of tho Goographi
cal Society, was pitched upon by a gal.
liant Captain Dareall, with whom | had
made acquaintance at Malta, to accom-
pany him in an expedition of African dis
covcry. Mymeck, ,forbcaring countenauct
inspired him with interest. llo sworo
was the man for his money; promised
should shure his glory-sharo his gains
baptize the whole kingdom of Dahomey
throw down the islands of half continen
and write qucrter of his own quarto
The Captain was bold man. He talked
) with plausibility-,I listened with enthusi
|, nsm.
: Having secured the necessary frmans
and a specific against the plague and th
cholera, We embarked with a cargo Of blu
beads, tin tacks, caoutchouc-s sheets, oil
silk parasols, and patent freezing appa
t ratue; and, in the course Of three year
( from our landing, confronted stripes, i'm
. prisonmcnt, the cheating of consuls, an
barbarity OF boys, four fovcrs, two dysen
| tcries, one COup de SOlcH, and variety o
n cutaneous abominOions too tedious
c cnumeratc-al the plaques of Pharaol
. and, in short, hundred more! No
however, to talk too plainlully on my ez
f cruciations, suffice it that in the sequel
= returned sole survivor Of tho expedition
G having, as have since been assured, cate
b the surgeon oil the party baked in Hot
, tentoten anthill and leaving all that tn
y musketoos had lett Of the gallant captain
inhumcd in the sands OF Wallah-allah
1 assboo, two thousand miles beyond Tim
| buctoo!
$ Nothing remained to me on my arrive
5 in town but the ragged shirt whcreon wit
Il pin and lampblack, had inscribed tt
u notes Of my African discoveries; whicl
g when transferred to hot-press, the worl
b doridod as lies and impositions. Th
rontispiecc to my work, representing II
; lavorito idol of the King OF Dahomey, IL
;. "Quarterly Review held up to shame q
6 a satire upon the Right Honorable IL
Lady Helena O'Donoghuc,
Y Meonwhiln as | sCudded along the b'