Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1863-08-01

= 80 ~ e1.E,ss,. !.
It Is t,ll ~ hi posyA ! hear. ]: ef
gspa.l1 % Aadi Vas .hssl,rse. :.
I.1loasI - .;ee as.d . r.p.s.s. pro.
Pdaee e-4bor and sssv'o.s .
|. VI, ats .uctioneers ugly men, b.
sasss tbsj are si~ays Jar.b.ddirg:.
Why. ale policemen like The .daya .oi.
~..f Because the! .rs "rs,oered
=" oot't cry, little BOY. Did be bit you
On purpose p .'"No, sir-.he bit me on
tho head"
A witty sdito, Of . penny paper took
for bio motto, "The price of liberty is
eternal vigilance, the price Of the Star
only one cent"
Bare Joke-When the Germans cot
scared At Chancellorsvills, they left their
"Schurtz" on the Geld. This is not a. bad
- the rebels at Seven Pines, who fed,
and took their "Field" With them.
''Yoa think you .,s . great man, said
IN impertinent fellow to . gentleman
whom be had offended. "Yes, I am a
real ssamper,' replied tho gentleman,
fitting the action to the work.
A tender hearted wido~er tainted a.
the funeral Of his third beloved. "What
shall We do with him p asked friend Of
his. "Let him alone" said a wagg;sh
by'stander, "he'u soon revive"
"Mother, it striks me you are very lazy
just now" "How dare you say 80; Why
don't you see, I'm making bread p indig.
nantly returned the lady. "True, bot
that's neither more nor less than loa,ing."
"What is the meaning of back bitter p
asked teacher at Sunday School ex.
animation. This was a puzzle. 1t went
down the class until it came to simple
urchin, who said, "Perhaps it be fear'
There is town in Arkansas contain.
ing but six Inhabitants, yiz: q crippled
negro, q jackass, . quack docsoSa hnxS'
zard, pole cat, and an alligator. There
was population Of seven until the post
master absq qastuIated.
A little boy, after listening to sermon
on the necessity Of being born, returned
home much affected, and said to his
mother :"I don't like that sermon and,
ma, / don't want to be born again, for who
knows but what I might then be gal"
An exchange tells the following simple
story of child kneeling by his bed to
pray, as he retired for the night He
said /: d" Dear heavenly father, please don't
let the large cow hook me, nor the horse
kick me, and don't let me run away out.
side Of the gate when mother tells me
not to-"
A bevy Of children were telling their
father what they 60. at school. The eld-
est got reading, spelling and definitions.
" And what do you get little one p said
the father to q rosy checked little fellow,
who at the time, was silly driving ten
penny nail into the door panel. "Me!
oh, gets reading, spellin' and spankin,."
A Stock sERMos.-A young man, on
the eve Of going 10 Australia, heard his
father preach from the text, "Adam,
where art thou?' On his return, after q
long absence, he went on the first Sunday,
- was proper, to his fathers church,
when the old gentleman read out the same
text, Adam, where art thou p "Moth-
er," said the son, who was something of q
wsg, "has father not found Adam yet ?"
There are three kinds Of silence the
silence Of peace and JOY, the silence Of
submission and resignation, and the si-
lence Of desolation and despair Lovely
are they whose delight is iu the FIRST; mis-.
cradle are those Who are driven to the
second, and most vretched and miserable
are those who are driven to the last.
Death Of Arch Bishop Kenr;ck.-We
regret to learn that the Most Rev. Arch
bishop Keurick Of Baltimore, died sud-
denly few days since. The illus.rious
Prelats WAS one Of tho most disting guished
men of the Catholic Church in America.
lie VAS we'll known Cor his theological
attainments, and wrote several worka
which placed him 1t the head Of Catholic
authors in America. His loss will b
keenly felt.
SEcasrARY SEwARD's PoRER-The Sc.
cretary Of State, while endesvoring to
vindicats tho vitality Of tho Federal Gov.
srnment 10 Lord Lyons, illustratsd hs
position BY seying:-
my Lord, I can touch . bell on my
right hand and order the arrest Of chis.
On Of Ohio. can touch the bsll again
and order The imprisonment Of citizen
in New York, and no power on earth hut