Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1863-05-02
WIT AND HUMOR.
steve Copaut,s Courr.,,;n.

once called on my friend Steve Consnt.
and while there the conversation turned on
courtship; aud, at my request, the old
gentleman told me an incident in his own
love affairs, which give in his own words
Wall, seeing it's 700, don't mind telling
about scrape that happened to me when I
was courting Nancy here. THAT arc is some
thing that never tell anybody. But ye
shall have it !"
mo, don't steyc,' broke in the old
woman; II should think you would be
ashamed cfyourself telling your love scrapes
to everybody"
IF you can't bear TO hear it, you may 90
out doors-so here it goes When [ was
nigh about twenty-one | came up here, all
alone and built me cabin. | hadn't a
naber nearer than five miles, so you see
didn't quarrel much; but as it grew to be
near winter | got kinder lonesome, and
begun to think that ought to have wo-
man to keep me company; so one morning
started down to Lenway to take look at
the girls, to see If | could lind one to suit
me. When got down to the settlement l
asked young chap if he knew of girl that
wanted to get married, and he told me that
he guessed that Nancy Knox did, and if !
wanted wife had better try and hitch on
with her, and he said that if it was agreea-
make me acquainted with Nancy, and he
was as good as his word; and twasnt an
hour afore Nancy and was on the best of
terms. Afore f.ght l hired out with the
deacon for ten dollars a month, half of the
pay to be taken in produce, and the rest in
clear cash, and l was to work all winter.
Wall, for about two months | felt as neat as
mouse in new cheese | courted Nancy
every Sunday night. and was determined
before another month to pop the question,
and | hadn't bit of doubt but what Nancy
would be cvcrioyed at becoming my bosom
companion. We'll, about this time there
came a fellow from one of the lower towns
to keep school, and he hadn't been there
moren a week afore found he had Il natu-
raj hankering artcr Nancy and worst of
all, the old deacon, who had seemed mighty
pleased at the thoughts of my courtng his
girl, begun to kinder kool off, rs if he would
like the schcolmaster better for son-in-
law, and it made me feel kinder down in
the lip, ] can tell you. Wall, one Sunday
night, Bill Smith, for that was the pesky
critters name. came in Jest 1T dusk, and
when the clock struck nine he didn't seem
ready to go. Old Mrs. Knox and the young
uns all went of to bed, and there were mono
left but the old deacon, Bill Nancy and /,
and there we all sat round the fire without
saying word Always afore the deacon
had gone of TO bed and left the coast clear
for Nancy and |, and kept 'spectiug every
minute that he would show Bin to bed, hut
he did no such a thing but Jest as the clock
struck ten nc ris up, and ses he:
"'Stcve, let's 90 to bed, for we must be
up bright and airly to have them ere logs to
the river
Wasn't that a hint, eh2 I looked at
Il, L., 1,.l 4
this ! up and marched out into the entry
and up the ladder to bed. ] was boiling
over mad with all creation-Bill, Nancy and
the Deacon in particular. l got into bed
and kivered myself up, but felt so bad
that couldn't go to sleep. Like as not the
schoolmaster was hugging and kissing Nam
cy down in the kitchen and couldn't shut
my eyes for the life of me. Wall, all at
once it occurred to NE that there was some
big cracks in the floor over the kitchen. and
| could watch and see all that was going on
below; so out of bed got, and crawled
a.ong close to the chimney on all fourS, and
finding big crack, looked down through.
Bill and Nancy were sitting about two feet
apart. though every now and then Bill
would hitch his chair little nearer to her.
How could | have choked that man |
watched them for about quarter of an
hOur, anu Dy tnat time was near ABOUT
froZe, as it was an awful cold night, and |
hadn't a rag on but my two shirts But l
would not go to bed, for was bound to
know if Nancy was true to me. By-and-by
Bill hitched his chair up little closer, and
| could see that he had made up his mind
and was just going to kiss her. How it
riled me , But was bound to see it through
SO l moved a little to get better view, and
that moment the plank | was on tipped up.
and down | went kerchunk, and landed
atween Bill and Nancy. Bill thought for
once that old Nick had come, and he
stretched it outdoors and as for Nancy, she
gave one look, and then covered up her face
with bcr apron. / started out of the kitchen
as quick as you could say scoot, and as l
was going up the ladder l heard old Mrs.
Knox holer:
"Nancy, scoot the cat down, or she'll
break every dish on the dresser.
The next morning when she went to
milking, popped the question to Nancy,
and she sed she would have me, for she
didn't care cent for Bill Smith, and we
have been married forty years cum next
June"