The weekly Butte record., 1863-10-31
0qesklp Butte Reforo
The Anti -Punster.

Hc AdA hHO nOuid eciuplt 10 MAKE
a pun, would not hesitate to commit a
burglary. Why we think so, we don't
know; but we have just as much right
to our opinion that there is a distinct
connection between a dislike Of punss
and taste for burglaries, as DR.. John
son had to his, when he chose, most az
bitrarily and alliteratively, to confound
pun to be perpetrat-d with pocket
to be picked.
The anti-punster IS the incarnation of
the spirit of intolerance. His aversion
knows no cold medium. He has 10
mercy for the man who differs with him
ON the point of pun. He is man
of one idea, and that, though an old
one certainly, is no joke. His single
ness of apprehension cannot stand the
shock of a double meaning. One is as
much as he can manage to comprehend;
and he can no more stand up against
the force and confusion of two, than he
can brave the discharge Of double bar
relied gun at his head. Besides, he re-
CARDS pun as most reckless and ex-
travagant waste of meaning. He wo'd
rather YOU used a word that meant no.
thing. "The no meaning" does not
puzzle him more than wit, and passage
that leads TO nothing, affords him more
profit and recreation than an insane at
tempt to walk in two paths at a time.
Like to a man on double business bound,
And both neglects,
he would infinitely prefer stroll in the
dark through grounds beset with traps
and spring guns, to joining in conversa-
tion with punster. He resents an un-
provoked bubble as personal insult.
He never called anybody out on Oh this
score, because, in his opinion, man
once convicted of a premeditated pun,
has forfeited all elaine 70 be treated as
a gentleman bat he never fails to kick
the offender down stairs with his
minds foot, Horatio. Having discoy-
cred that his eldest son had called the
cock an ornithological Cerberus-three
birds at once, his throat being swallow
and his voice crcw-he threatened to
cut the culprit of with a shilling; and
ascerta'ning that the young wag had re
marked upon the difficulty of "cutting
OFF, son with a shilling-a shilling
being undeniably blunt put his
threat into execution. He sneers at
Shakespeare as an inspired IDIOT and
condemns as vicious, not only in taste
but in morals, the final exit of Mercu-
ito, who is sent into purgatory with
pun in his mouth. You increase his
disgust if you tell him the same thing
has happened on the zeal stage Of life
that Elliston's ending was even as that
of Mercutio, whom he had so often rep
resented--that when, an hour or two
before the parting of the soul and body
the patients head was raised on his
pillow, and, to seduce him into taking
one more hopeless spoonful Of medicine,
he was told ''he should wash it down
with half a glass of his brown sherry"
that even then, the actors glazed eye
frightened under the Influence of the
ruling passion, as he articulated with
almost moyel~ss lips, "Bri berry and
cor-rup- ton y
Nothing incenses the anti-punster so
much as detecting in distaste for puus
an incapacity for making them. Charge
him with that, and he will Immediately
prove himself incapable by offering proof
of capacity. He can neither make a
genuine good pun, which is good thing
nor shocking Sad one, which is bet
ter. Whatever he hazards is bad, to
be sure-but not bad enough it is
wretched, dull piece Of impotence,
wholly innocent ,fdrollery. He has no
soul for a vlllainous quibblc-he cannot
for his life make it vile enough to sue
ceed; he has not the grasp Of mind re-
duired to gather up two remote mean
ings and compress them into a single
word, which the eye, rather than the
tongue, ltalicizes to the apprehension.
In short, h i mn unconscious -},ot +Lo ov