North Branch democrat. [volume] (Tunkhannock, Pa.) 1854-1867, 1863-04-15
poett's QJorner>
A PLAIN EPISTIE TO UNCLE
ABE.

About that little job
Which you, and Bill, and Horace G.,
Agreed so nice to do,
Unless than sixty days" from date
Some twenty months ago!
We gave you heaps of soldiers, Abe,
To help Iou smlte the foe;
A string of warriors that would reach
From here to Mexico.
We packed them off with spades to dig
And trusty guns to shoot,
With hayersacks to grace their backs,
And flies and drums to toot
You saw these mighty Iegions, Abe.
And heard their manly tread;
You counted hosts ofliring men,
Pray can you count the dead?
Look Ger the broad Potomac, Abe,
Virginia's hills along,
Their wakeful ghosts are beckoning you
Two hundred thousand strong.
We gave you several shillings, Abe,
To pay your little dues;
Enough to buy a dozen shirts.
And sundrJ pairs of shoes
We gave you cattle, horses mules,
And wagons-fuIl a score;
And several cannon with a voice
Loud as a bull can roar
Now what Tn after, Uncle Abe,
Is simply to find out,
What you have done with all this 'ere,
And what you've been about!
If unto Caesar you have given,
All that is his concern,
Then Mrs. Caesar want's' to know
What you have done with hern
know you're young and handsome. Abe,
q And funny as our Pol,
A peer exalted, great and high,
A ruler seven foot tall;
You're big enough, if only smart,
To manage all the gang;
And tho little green-you'H rise,
When you have got the hang
You told US that the Locos, Abe,
Were rascals to the core,
Because they made so free auIe
Of Uncle Samuel's store.
Full sixty millions in year -
Now wasn't it a sin
For Democrats to squandcr thus
The darling peoples tin
And are you not deserving Abe,
Both gratitude and grub,
For having stopped this wicked leak
In Uncle Samuers tub?
The sage who did this wondrous deed,
Is fit with saints to sup;
1t only costs two billions more
To rlug the vessel up!
You say the South had ruled us, Abe,
Some fifty years IN peace,
And that the time had fully come
When their vile reign should cease;
That you were to take the helm
The sinking ship to save,
And put her on another tack
And-I really think you have!
You're out of luck entirely. Abe,
The engines off the track
The b'iler's burst, and there you are,
A sprawling on your back
The exciseman is at the door,
Contractors cry for pelf;
You're blind and stupid, deaf and lame,
Nor very we'll yourself.
Your cabinet is feeble, Abe,
And dull as any Ounce;
And if you have an ounce of brains,
You'll ship them off at once;
Send Stanton to the Fejee Isles,
Give Welles and Chase the sack,
Swap IIalleck for a Hottcntot,
And send for Little Mac
know you tell us, Uncle Abe,
This is mighty war:
And that the job is rather moro
Than what you bargained for
That you have done the best you could
To make the rebels rue it,
And if you knew what next to do,
You'd go right off and do it!
Now that's the very thing, Abe,
That makes this din and claUter;
You don't appear to "see," Abe,
And that is what's the matter!
The niggOr's in the wood-pile, Abe,
AS shy as any trout;
So you think the Proclamation, Abe,
Will smoke the weasel out
You want to free the darkios, Abe,
At least, I so construe it;
The difficulty seems to be
To find out how to do it.
The way, dear Abe, is mighty dark,
And bothersome to see;
l fear you'll have to give it up,
And let the darkey be.
I tell you what it is, Abe,
The folks begin to think
This colored sop is rather stale
For victuals or for drink.
Our mothers love their absent sons,
Our wives their husbands true,
But no one cares moaldy fg
H. T..ur -