The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1863-01-02
WIT AND uUMoR.

ships makes in the day 'nan d'
TcSours arc opt to be unluly, rf. os
we can't see them, il Is impessibl5 to
Keep watch on them.
SruTTiSo is good WY TO preaetys
dead birds. but poor way 20 Preserve a
live person. II II5
WIEN people are long Indifferent, to-
wards us, We grow Indifferent to their Ia,
difference, w
WuAT invitation would be dorrnrens
and dis,uySl to a soldierl Ono ssi,ihg
him tn dinner aud dessert.
Why isa poor horse greater than Ma
pnlcon Because there are in him ma.
ny bcny p rts. -" -
IHE rolling Of cross woman, Ike tho
railing OF garden, keeps people at q
A WOMAN has generally so much rid
g,ing about her, thot, for the most part.
she Is the least part Of herself. 'Nf
IIE who said tn at the half is of,en be,-
ter than the whole. mi6ht hive nJdeJ
half. '' ''S i"S
" Benpr, what is steam % aDoillng
water" "That's right, compare it.n.
" Positive. boil eompurai.ve, boiler .us,
pcrluiiyc, bur.t"
THE most tcndcr-hctr,cd man VIC ovet'
heard Of was shoemaker, who nlwh,s
shut his eyes aud whislled when he ran,
his aw ihto sole. i'~Ss
THrns ere two clas'Cs ord'sappointed
lovers those who are Disappointed b..
fore marriage, and the more unhappy
who ARE disappointed afcr IT,"
al SAT-, Bill, Jm's Gagged for stealing
n horse :" fsi
"surve him right why didn't he sbsd
one aud not Poy iorit, like any other gcn-e
:, F'u,tccn young women Of Brentwood,
Now lilmpshlrJ wcDt, few nishfs
SINCE TO the house oc Hu aged farmer
who has sent three sons 10 the ,r.'.,,d
huskcd one hundred bushels Of corn ar
him.
TIM DrFErEScr. -" Can YOU tell mr.
jim, where they pet so much corn for MI,
manuiacturc into whiskyF' 'sWby, nos
says jim. " hut can tell You yery well
where the corn comes from uIter tho
whisky is made =
Ara wedding recently, When the OH.
cinting priest rGt 10 the lady the qncstion.
/" wit thou have this man TO be Inv we'd
dcd husband I" she dropped her pret,ics,
courtesy, and with molcsly which lept
her beauty an additional grace, RI, ulied.
IN you please"
| WHEN a provincial alderman namsd
Gill died, his wilc ordered the unaertnk:
er 10 inform the Court OF AL ermen of
the event, when he wrote TO this effect.
nm des s'rcd to iniurm tho Court of
Alderman, Mr.. Alderman GIN died Inst
night by order ofhIrs. Gill" .urn
THEEl's two ways of doirg IT," said
Pat 10 himself, Us he stood n using ana
waiting FOR a ID. "lf | 5 We two thou,
sand dollars | mus, lay up hundred dol
Ia s year for twenty years, or cun put
away ten dollars year for two hunlteI
years Now which shall do % w
a YoUSG LADY from the ccuntry bo;ng,
Invited to a party, wus told by her, cnv
cousin to fix up and put her best foot
foremost. in order TO catch n beau, I" She
looked so green in her country attire. ~,
The country lass lock so comicullylir-
TO the face OF her rather iaded rela,iye,
and replied, " Better green than, Nitber,
CD"
Az anxious father had been lcctnn6y
his diSsolute son, uhd, after most path
etic appeal 10 his feelings, discovering
no signs OF cOntrition, hc exclaimed. .nfi
Whot, no ralcnting emotion not
one ponitcnt tear % t 'riW f -
"Ah, father" replied the hardened
hopeful" you NAV us well leave OF sboq
ring mo; you will obtain no wuter, 7 can
assure you" 4.It t 4l liag
7 a HINTLrMAN was riding with a lady,
IN an open carriage, call OF n simmeris'
day. and mems arms,
awkward things, are ever 10 the way
dropped an arm around her waist. No
objection was made for while, and tho
arm gradually relieved tie side of tho
carriage Of the pressure upon il. But Of
a sudden Cwhcthcr from a late reeogDi-
tlcn OF the improperly Of the thing. or,
the sight OF another beau coming, never
was known the lady started with yolcs-
nic CLERGY, and with flashing eye, ex-
cluimqd, Mr.. Brown, can support nv
self!" "Cup'tul - was the instant re-
/ ply, /" you are just the girl have been
looking for these five years-will .yeu
marry me ," H Nff
0J- Mr.. VIM, J. cullon, CDem. )-eL,