The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1863-10-02
being made to mustangs or Spanish Wild
ows.-S. Louis Daily Union.


ows.-iSi. Louis Daily Union.
A Minnesota Justfce---Rtch Seen
with LudicrOus Termination.
From the La Crosse Democrat.
In the semi-rural village of Winona, for
ty miles north of this city upon the Min
nesota side of the Mississippi river, lives,
among several other people, ajolly good
fellow of Justice of the Peace, whose
ideas of matters are much like the current
of deep river. Once started in certain
direction it is hard to turn them. On q
fair day last week, after the 10x12 law
dispensatory had been swept-atter the
chairs had been set in short row against
the side of the office and sundry whipped
quids of tobacco and mutilated cigar stubs
had been kicked under the stove there
was wooden step on the stairs and a
vigorous knock at the door.
"Come in" said the Justice, as he set
tied into legal look so befitting a man
of law duly elected to dispense the tavors
of the blind goddess.
\ stout woman entered. She had on q
short woolen dress, wooden-soled shoes,
and sported red cheeks, black hair, and
eyes which snapped like the lock of shot-
gun. In Portuguese accent, and in the
worst possible English, she said:
"You law man?'
YES, madam; be seated"
"Want paper-want paper to take
man !"
Just then Il stout French half-breed en-
tered the room. He was unable to speak
q half dozen words, and looked either
scared or bashful The Justice saw at q
glance that there was marriage to come
off, and said to the woman, who stood with
compressed lips watching the Justice and
the door:
"Want paper to take this man?''
eyes want paper Ne teach him.
(Nice woman! thought the Justice.) He
no good man. Me take him so quick as
me can!"
"All right, my covies-tix you in the
jerk of lambs tail - said the Justice, as
he turned to the man and said:
"You know this woman-can you take
her ?''
The man shook his head and muttered
unintelligable words.
"Ah! l see. Can't talk English. Well
never mind"
He ran into the street, invited a few
friends up stairs, and on returning with
them said to the woman
"You want to take this man for better
or for worse?'
"Yes-me want to take him-me pay!"
Call right" Then turning to the man
who stood trembling
You take this woman for better or for
worse, and promise to keep her" &c.
"Umph % and several mods of the
head
"Then in the Name of Law, and by vir-
tue of the authority in me vested, l pro-
nounce you man and wife, And he
stepped forward before the woman could
say a word and kissed her red lips.
slap" came her hand in his face and
she clutched his hair The new husband
jumped in to take the woman away, and
to protect her as the justice supposed,
when in self preservation he hit him rap
on the nose! The woman pitched into
the new husband, who in turn pitched in
to her, and for about five minutes there
was a gener-l hustling and display of
legs, garters and things decidedly aston
ishing. At last the parties were separat-
ed, when the man and woman took an
other turn at each other, the blood and
hair flying in all directions Down came
the stOve-Over went the table-clatter
went the chairs, and into the street like
mad went the Justice with black eye
and the bosom of his shirt looking like a
warranty deed covered with red seals!
A crowd rushed up stairs and found the
man and woman lying on the floor, hug
ging each other like young bruins, their
arms and legs mixed up worse than toma-
to vines-the woman on top!
The newly married couple were sepa-
rated, when through the aid of two inter-
prefers it was discovered that the night
before, the parties occupying adjoining
shanties in the lower part of town had got
in quarrel over stove pipe which was
claimed by each, and from words had come
to blows. Each party had fastened to the
Justice office in the morning to obtain a
warrant for the other, with the result as
stated above The last news from there
was that the parties had gone in search
of another Justice to unmarry them, while
the genial cause of their terrible squabble
was "setting up the boys" and bathing
his bunged eye in camphor and whisky.
For an actual fact it is the richest with
in our knowledge