The Union. [volume] (Georgetown, Del.) 1863-1866, 1863-10-09

affair worthy of nolice occurred few daya
since on the train between Baltimore and
Harrisburg. A number of soldiers were on
board the train, Two of them wore blouses
of different color from those worn by the
rest An old Copperhead on the train noticed
this, and supposed them to be "Southern
brethren" He approached them and enter
cd into a conversation something like the fol-
lowing:
Copperhead-"Y You gentlemen do not be
long to this party of soldiersG"
| Soldiers" No sir."
Copperhead--"D Do you belong TO the South
ern Confederacy"
S-'Ye SIR"
c. Have you any money!
S-"No SIR"
C-"Have you no Confederate money!
S-"No sir; we lost everything when cap
tured by the Yankees"
C-(Giving each of them five dollar bill,)
at is pity that gentlemen engaged in
good cause should be robbed of everything"
After this generous act on the part of the old
man he asked, "What State in the Confeder-
acy 10 you belong to ?"
S-"To Me State Of Maine"
Copperhead 'simmered down, and left the
train before it had fairly stopped at the Han
over Junction.
How WIFE TREATED SuBsTITUTE.-The
draft gives rise to some novel incidents, Of
which we give an example. A man, who
shall be nameless, was drafted. His wife was
sorely distressed at the bare idea of parting,
and was vainly endeavoring to invent some
excuse for getting him exempted, when
knock was heard at the door. On opening
the door she found rather rough-loOkipg
chap, who accosted her thus:
MADAM, l hear your husband has been
drafted"
"Yes, SIR" she replied, che has but good
ness knows how am to spare him."
"Well, ma'am, I've come to offer my ser
vices as q substitute for him."
IA tchat3" asks the now excited lady.
81 wish to take his place." answers the
man.
You-you take the place of my husband,
you vagabond! I'll teach you to insult apoor
lone woman in distress, you mean, dirty
wretch" cried the prospective widow, accom-
panying her remarks with discharge of dirty
water at the head of the astonished substitute,
who fled hastily down stairs, just in time to
escape the pail which followed the water
The last heard of him he was flying into re-
cruiting Office, where he thought of enlisting
as a private rather than to venture to offer his
services as a Substitute" which now believes
to be more trying and delicate relation than
that of any of Artemus Wards "episodes."
A CoLoRED PHILosoPHER.-As shrewd, cour-
ageous negro escaped from his master in Rails
County, Mo-, went to the recruiting Office at
Hannibal, and Immediately enrolled his name
among the defenders of liberty, and against
its opposers. The preliminaries of making
him one of the Union defenders completed, he
was placed upon guard at the door and be-
fore this new Aedged soldier had taken in the
magnitude of his own Importance, he was ac-
costed by his former owner, when the follow
ing dialogue took place:
Mast" Halloo! Sam, what are you dcing
there?"
Sam-"Pn a soldier now. hal hap
Mast-"Gc your horse and come home
with me-"
Sam" Couldn't do it, Massa; there's your
horse, that's yours, this in here belongs to
Uncle Sam. Can't come in here"
Mast" Nonsense, Sam, come and 60
home with me-"
Sam-"Tell you couldn't do it, Massa, rs
soldier now, half free and tightin' for de cd
der half"
MuMrs.-A Corporal in West Virginia
regiment went home on furlough, and at its
expiration applied for an extension in this
style:
MY DEAR COMMANDER 1T is with pleasure
I takes NV pen in Hand to inform You that
am taken with the Mumps, and hope you are
enjoying the same blessing; but 1t thar al
danger, or if you think thar ar, report to me
Immediately at Buekcannon and am at your
service. MUhPs Oh NO lhoAfs.
DrcGs saw a 6ve-pound note lying on the
ground but he knew it was forged one, and
walked on without picking it up. He told
Smithers the story, when the latter said -
''Do you know, Diggs, you have committed q
very grave offence why what have
done 90 You have past forged note.
knowing it to be SUCH"
WHEN asked how he got out Of prison, q
witty rogue replied: 81 got out of my csllby
ingenuity, ran up stairs with agility, crawled
out of the window in secrecy, slid down the
lightning-rod with rapidity, walked out ofthe
town with dignity, and am now baskingin
sunshine of liberty p
When the cold wind blows take care ofyour
nose that it don't get frozs, and wrap up your
toes in warm woolen hose. The abovewesup-
pose was written in prose, by some one who
knows the effect of cold SHOWS.
SOME ONE remarked of q very moan man,
that his soul was capable of such ii fnitssinnai
meaness that he would have as much "play"
in soap-bubble as an oyster in the Bay OF
Fundy.