Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1863-08-07
-. Written for the Cedar Falls Gazette.]
WAR Widows -TETE.

- lWritten Tor the Cedar Falls Gazette
WAR WIDOWS TETE-A-THTE.
BY DAN DE opLLE.
Yes, yes" cried Mrs. Bobadil, lady Of
some sixty summers, whose husband is with
the Greybeards, looking over her glasses at
young Mrs. Spry, who is reclining upon a
sofa, "yes, it's the one thing needful that
we war widows use great circumcision in our
actions during the absence of our husbands
in the army. Folks are always so ready to
circulate inflamatory reports, however nuga-
tory and inaccessible ones conduct may be :"
and the good old lady put her tongue into
the roof Of her mouth to settle the, plate of
her new eighty dollar teeth, while with her
left hand she gracefully adjusted her switch
in her silken net.
at is fact" said Mrs. Basbleu, "that the
tongue of scandal has been busy with the
characters Of war widows ever since wars
have desolated the earth. Even Penelope,
wife of Ulysses, and war widow for twenty
years, though one of the most virtuous
women of that age, could not escape being
made the subject of slanderous s.ories.-
You know that Penelope put off her numer-
GUS suitors by saying that she would give
them an answer when she had finished robe
she was working for her aged father-in law,
Laertcs; but every night she undid what
she had finished during the day, and thus
kept her whole herd of lovers at Il distance.
Yet, prudent and vruous as she was, it was
whispered that she yielded her love to Mer-
curry and some of the other gods, and thus
became the mother of Pan, the god of flocks
and forests, and who, with his pug nose,
horns, shaggy hide and goats feet, was such
fright that his mother ran away from him
the moment she caught sight of what she
had given birth to, leaving the bantling to
the care of Mercury, who took him"
la cried Mrs. spry, show you do run
on about your gods and goats and frights.
Now, all that have to say is that wish
every cowardly, tatting, stay at home scamp
of the whole lot would get drafted. That's
what wish l."
All, well, says Mrs. Bobadill, ait won't
be long now, my dear, till the construction
will take effect
VI wish to goodness it would take half the
men in the country. Let them see how they
would like being shot att.
Yes, my dear" exclaims Mrs. Bobadll,
4" let them feel the dcpredatons Of soldiers
life"
~ don't care what they feel" cries Mrs.
Spry, 81 say its sneaking and cowardly of
them to be saying that Mrs. So-ands so prom
enades the streets too much and puts on too
many airs; or that Mrs. What's. her. name
goes to balls and things where it don't look
well for her to be. OF course every place is
not fit for us to visit; but are We to be pen
ned up like nuns ?"
No, my dear, we aye not to be shut up to
lead the homogeneous lives Of esth.tics !;
for who but those whose husbands have ar.
rayed themselves in the pompous circum
stances of war and are now abjectly fronting
the bloody foe like pusillanimous heroes
who but them have right to what few
crumbs Of comfort, reflections and procrea-
tions they can fnd?"
Especially these dreadful times;" said
Mrs. Spry, though for my part. don't al
together approve of going to balls. Pm sure,
were to attend one, should feel like cry
ing all the time; not seeing poor George
there"
Very true. very true," sighed Mrs.
Bobadll, "when we don't know but at the
7ery moment we are tripping upon the BON.
oastic toe, our dear husbands may be strug-
cling in the Herculancum grasp Of some OBJ
use foe for bare existence; or under the
lands of the sargeant, is stretched on ta-
lie, undergoing computation Or some other
ruel obstetric operation"
On, how extremely unpleasant such tor
uring operations must prove to our brave
defenders" exclaimed Mrs. Whey, "scarce
light passes that do not dream of some
uch disagreeabls thing being wrought upon
ir. Whey's limbs"
my, yes" said Mrs. Spry, then to think
hat after all this folks will still have the i'm.
udence to criticiso and make remarks upon
ur conduct"
None, my dear, but the the most desul.
Dry and abandoned would do it,"
1t is extraordinary that persons can be
. cxtresnely-onc might say criminalIy un.
ppreciative as to have no proper compre-
ension of our deprivations, nor
No." interrupted Mrs. Bobadill, "they
ave no friends facing the burnt Of the bat
g, therefore lack the appropriate compul-
on to apprehcnd our deprcdatiors.
AS was about to remark" continued
RS. Whey, "most persons would seem to
ave no just sense Of the incalculable sacri-
&c we make in sending our husbands off to
nslc in the bloody fes5. Of war, and thus