Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-04-07
Jack and the skeleton,

In ono Of our southern seaboard cities
and on a loOg street-almOst a road-lead
ing therefrom to the country, "dw.lls an
apOthecary," very tall and remark ablv
slender persOn-so thin in fact than one
would suppose he fed exclusively on his
own professional mi xtures. No tailor dare
venture to cut a coat or any other garment
in any way approaching a snug fit 10 his
person, fu- fear of having the work return
ed on his hands and in that case they would
be found to fit nobody else.
And yet, with this extraordinary nauci,y
OF flesh there was great supply Of humor
In our hero he was extravagantly fond of
practical jokes, and practiced them freely
when occasion and opportunity offered. lie
bad an electric machine secluded from
sight and when any lazy person sauntered
into hls shop and ventured to indulge in a
nap or lonnge, he was sure to be shocked
int activity, and pushed Of. lie was a
great advocate Tor temperance and vet was
ready to furnish gratis a trimming GLASS
OF any sort 1T liquor any customer might
fancy, but his quor was invariably found
to produce more nausea than any other
sensation.
But COntrivauce which afforded him
a
grown pers,.n in a cl,set OF easy access to
his shor. This skeleton was placed erect
on platform which ran smoothly on
wheels: and when the door was opened,
this plato m was pulled forward by an un-
seen thin wire or string, WLi:h cot nected
1t with the boiling of the closet door. There
were also similar wires fastened to thewall
behind the skeleton and passing over each
oh. 4 lN,
the wrist. Consequently, when the closet
door was oIencd. the platform ON which
the skeletOn stood not only advanced
but both arms and hands were lifted up
ward.
If any intoxicated, noisy, boisterous, or
lnprudent fellow came into his shop, the
alnthecary would manage, in some way,to
lead him to that open door and it rarely
failed Ia hi used to say "to take the
liquor and SUNK out of him" lie hadtwo
or three spprentlced lads in his employ who
natuia ly :elished these jokes AID practiced
them with his full consent, when be was
absent.
One day during his temporary absences
sailor came drifting along -occasionally
stopping and dancing jig and singing. TO
the great merrlment of II garg of buys,who
followed ham. He was Just drunk enough
to play fool, but not tCo drunk to navigate.
He eventually brought up at the door of our
opOthecary, and bracing himself ID the
doorway, yelled out:
"llaiiu, my hearties here You are with
your stuffed a!ligatois and gailipot mixins
tor sick fulks! Why the devil don't YOU
keep erog for tuff folks like me ?" and here
he shufil d "tf a rigado0r, and made him
self very merry.
We'll, Jack" said one. of the lad, what
kind Of grog do you want? '
II take some brandy" was the prom OF
reElv.
Very well, go and help yourself, (band
ing him tin mug,) you will find it in that
clrset'
Jack went as directed and pulling omen
the 81 set door found himself within grasu-
ing distance OF an advancing skeleton be
lnc"ntnently fel! back step, dropped his
t'E cup. turned ush-cOlor, made one spring
to tie daor, and when he reached the street
took the middle of it, and ran like d or
Till be had reached supposed SAFE dis
tarCe.
Shorty after this our apothecafy returL-
ed, and being informed of the event was
greatly amused, out sadly lamented his alb
5apGe.
Il wo"lin't have missed seeing H." said
be, for a great deal. ! do wonder if he
vii! c5ne back this waY!' But thissW as
not probable, AID yet it was the oulfTwuy
to town.
; lathe course of few hours, however,
sure enough, Jack was heard at distance
on his way back, singing and dancing. Our
apotheeary, hopefully shins an encore.
went out on his dOOrsteps aud elevating his
thin pe's san, and extending his long, ema-
ela,ed arm and hand, very kindly heckyned
II Jack to repeat his visit. Jack M sooner
saw him than be put his helm hard a.
port" and sheered over TO the other side of
the street, buttOning his jacket over his
breast, aud pressing his tar pulin 81 ,ser on
his head, 50 as to be ready to run if chase
was given.
'Ay-yey, old bag of bones" "a Jack
there You are again, are you ? You think
dnnt know you now you've gnt your
clothes on p and away he went on his way
leaving cur aUothecary rather puzzled in
deciding which of them got the sharpest