The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-10-16
WIT AND HUmOR.

doctorf Is IL deepF-"Nery probea.
ble."
PoLITENEss is like an air.cushiou---
there may be nothing in il, but it eases
jolts wonderfully. thai' o.
PRENTICE says the Southern rebellion
couldn't make cotton King, butt has
made Maximilian Emperor. i ~
IT may sound like paradox, yet the
breaking of both wings of an army is g.
pretty sure way to make it fly. sass
AYoUNa gentleman says he thinks
that young ladies who refuse good offers
OF marriage are too "No-ing by half"
FITI Is little troubles that wear the heart
out; u is easier tn throw q bomb.sbell o.
mile than feather-even with artillery.
A FACT FOR BACHELORS. 1T is no less
strange than true that the girdle most
popular among unmarried ladies is asir.
single. ., -af bau
Coon temper is like sunny day; il
sheds brightness over everything; it Is
the sweetenet of toll and the soother Of
disquietude. r F' 81. laser
some men keep savage dogs around
their houses, SO that the hungry poor
who stop to "get abite" may get it out,-
eide siC!e the door. .,t..g
A CONTEMPORARY discovers that some
Of cur military officers have four aids:-
Promenade. serenade, dashed" lemon
ade, and gasconade. n7 57s slfia
A COUNTRY editor having written o
long article on Hogs" o rival paper
upbraids him for intruding bis family
matters upon the public. " y" '. ~
CoLERIDaE, the poet and philosopher.
once arriving OF an inn, called OUT
Waiter do you dine here collectively
or Individually" "Sir,' replied the
knight of the napkin, Eve dimes at six."
AYouNe man, on being asked by his
sweetheart what photography was, took
out bis pencil and wrote the following,
telling her that was photography: ~
RA Blu T, l. nj" You are a beauty,
Ellen.) E0a'l't'
A LITTLE boy, o few days since, while
coming down stairs, was cautioned b.
his mother not to lose his balance. His,
question which followed was puzzler:
Mother, If was to lose my balance,
where would it 90 to?n '-.
A sToCK.BRoKER, whose mind was al
ways full of quotations, was asked
few days since how old his father was2
"Well, ," said he, abstractcdly, "he is quo.
ted at eighty, but there is every prospect
he will reach par, and possibly be at a
premium" 2N & f3 ai
AN old salt, when asked how he felt
during recent severe gale which be en-
countered at sea, and during which the
ship was in great peril, replied, in all
sincerity and simplicity, "Why, l.
thought, what will the poor fellows on.
shore do now2" a.f-.
II WISH had your head, ,"said lady n
one day, to a gentleman who had solved
for her knotty point. "And / wish J,
had your heart" was his reply. "WelI,n
said she, "Since your head and my heart
can agree, | don't see why they should
not 60 into partnership" .I .g ,.g a
A PERSON complained to DR.. Frank. p
lin of having been insulted by one who a
called him Scoundrel. "Ahl" replied VI
the Doctor, "and what did you call him?"aV
why" said he, al called him q
scoundrel too" "Well, resumed Frank.
lin, Il presume you both spoke the
truth" s .r .s gr1 'Ha -al7Hu0l
A JOCKEY lord met his old college td.
tor at great horse fair. "Ah, doctorl"
exclaimed his lordship, "what brings
you here among these high bred cattle ?
Do you think you can distinguish a 2
horse from an ASST" "My Lord" re-
piled the tutor, II soon preceived you
among these horses" a..- s.aJ3
"WHo is that lovely GIRL" exclaimed
Lord Norbury, riding in company with
his friend, Counsellor Grahaty. Miss
Glass, ,"replied the barrister. "Glass!' 0
reiterated the facetious Judge; i'by the
love which man bears to woman, I
should often become Intoxicated, could +,
| press such glass to my lips" a5
THERE'S no humbug about these sar.
dines," said Brown, as he helped himself
to third plateful from q newly,opsned
box; "they are the genuine article. and
came all the way from the Meditefra-
neau." eyes" replied his economical.
wife, "an6 if you will only control your
appetite they will go great dea! fsrth>,
er." '7'. 10 eha}. 'eT w va
- ....l -.i,-tgf gggl g55 ioa hsd gG ssgn
.s ALAwsu1T Is now pending ia Sodus, m
New York, arising out of hens setting Il
on nest of eggs. The hen went to, a:u
neighbours barn and made her nest. The u
neighbor substituted some valuable }
eggs, and when. Mrs. Chanticleer had
them nicely hatched, her real owner,a
claimed the proceeds and hence the
suit ..,,f "a. s., ;,s,s ia. ssr
NJ A YOUNG lady at 20 ball was asked BY
o lover of serious poetry whether she had
seen Crabbe's TalesH "Why, no,"she ,
answered; Il did not know crabs had
tails" II beg your pardon, miss, ,"said
he; II mean ,have you read OrabbeS9
Talesl" sand / assure you, Sir, y said .
she, Il did not know thatred crabs, had Z
tails" is dsQss.N ie s.a' ~ q
THREE Cambridge undergraduates;
xva,t intn n botaI nL.o "A ea, IL ,y;nras