Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1863-08-05
THE SHIRT or HAPPINESS,

IT is said that once upon time, in the
grand old fable days, a Persian king, who
fell sick, consulted a magician of great
reputation, who lived in his dominions.
The magician, a worthy gentleman, who
fourished in much personal comfort upon
popular opinion, received the king with
great respect AMI the most Aowery Ian
guage his imagination could invent. Ha-
wing listened to his Majesty's ailments
with profound attention, the magician at
length informed the king that if he could
succeed in obtaining the shirt of happy
man, he had only to put on the precious
garment to be cured Immediately of his
malady; and so long as he wore it he
would never know sorrow nor disease.
The realms of the monarch we're wide.
His armies we're mighty upon the land,
and his fleets we're supreme upon the sea.
His banners hal never known. defeat.
His treasury was filed to o7erfowing,
and his subjects we're loyal and obedient.
But whenever he ate a bowl of cream, or
a dozen skewers of kabobs, or few wa
ter-melons, he had suffered 50 much Of
late years from indigestion, that he could
not consider himself happy; SO that it
was obvious that his Majesty himself had
no shirt in his wardrobe which would an
swer the purpose.
But" thought the king, very natur-
ally, "there is my prime minister, fell
low who can put any quantity Of cream,
sweet or sour, under the robe of honor
" hich I gave him last Nooroos, and as
for kabObs, why, yesterday thought he
would never have done munching them.
He is married to my daughter. His hor.
ses are far better than mine. He has no
end Of money" (his majesty thought of
this with peculiar look, which might
mean many things and he has just built
himself a palace fairer than the British
Embassy. Whose dog is he that he
should not be happy?"
So the king sent for his prime minis
ter, and asked him at once for his shirt.
The statesman glad to oblige his master
on such easy terms, and slyly resolving
to obtain any number of equivalents
whenever occasion should offer to indem-
nifty, Immediately sent to the king the
very best shirt in his wardrobe. 1t was
made of the finest and lightest silk, thin
as spiders web, and beautifully en-
broidered; but wonderful as it appeared
to his majecty, he suffered from the indi-
gestion more than ever after putting it
on; and, far worse, he felt tightness
about the neck as Of a person apprehen-
siye of being bow strung, or actually un-
dergoing that process-a sensation With
he never remembered to have felt since
he had been at war for the crown with
his three hundred and ten brothers, after
his fathers death; and all those brothers
had long ago been disposed of in various
ways which his majesty did not care to
remember; he could not account for the
return Of the old sensation in his throat.
and hastened to take off the prime minis
ter's shirt as soon as possible.
Feeling, however, that he had been
imposed upon, and that the prime minis
ter must have sent him somebody else's
shirt Instead of his own, the king order
ed his ferroshes to seize that politician
and bring him, securely bound, into his
presence.
"To hear is to obey" said the ferro-
shes.
When the prime minister appeared, the
king received him with a terrible coun-
tenance.
"DOgr said his majesty, in an awful
voice, why nave you ueceiFeu Inc, ana
sent the shirt of some other man accurs-
ed of Allah, instead of your own?"
The prime minister tremblingly en-
deavored to exculpate himself.
q Son of an owl and spider" pursued
the king, "Meerza-Snooza, the magician,
assured me that if l could obtain the
shirt of happy man, 1 should be dcliv-
cred from my ailments. You must be
happy. Why did you withhold from me
your shirt?"
"Alas sire" replied the statesman,
" How can be happy with the fear Of
your sublime displea91rs ever before ne?