Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1863-05-29
Alisrcllnllcous Rea0inQ.
From the Home journal.
ADVICE TO A YOUNG LADY
AFTER HER MARRIAGE.

The following letter TO a young lady"
originally appeared several years ago. it
is written in style unusually agreeable, and
breathes, throughout, spirit of gentleness
and excellent sense, which no young person
can read without pleasure and instruction.
Numerous solicitations have been made to
us for its republication, and we are happy
to crafty our correspondents, and also pay
merted compliment to the esteemed
author.-EdS.
you are now married, and as is usual
on such occasions, your friends and acquaint-
ance will profess to wish you joy. Many
will 10 so as an act OF common civiity, feel
ing little or nothing Of the sentiment which
the words port. When, however, | ex-
press solicitude for your welfare, think
| am entitled to the credit of meaning some
thing more than the performance of an
empty ceremony. But when congratulate
ulang yon, know no better way of prov
ing the sincerity ct my professions, than by
rendering you my advice as to some of tine
means | deem necessary TO be pursued in
order to render your new situation matter
"Young people are very apt to think, if
they think at all on the subject, that when
they ge' married their cares are all scattered
to the winds, and that their happiness is Sc
cured for life. So far from the truth is such
thought, that when reality awakens them
from the dream of uninterrupted bliss, they
fud their sorrows certainly doubled, and
whether their joys are TO be increased or
not, depends mostly on themselves; and
they will find causes enough to interrupt
their happiness, though each should do their
best TO prevent or counteract them. One
thing il certain, that the mari d state may
be made more happy than the single life, or
it may become a state of perfect wretched-
ness; and neither your present situation is
better than that you exchanged for it, de-
pends much or mostly on yourself 1t is
therefore matter the first in order, as well
as the first in importance TO you, that you
should endeavor to ascertain the means best
C lcuated TO secure a continuance OF that
hlppin, SIS which doubtless you expected TO
experience in the w dded life. On this sub
je will endeavor to assist you.
9 That you we e happy during the period
spent in colrtship, you will not deny. That
you were so, arose from the Consciousness
that you loved and were beloved in return:
and from the pleasing hope or moral certain
ty that you would attain the objects OF your
affections. This hope is realized, and that
you are happy now, you aeed no one TO tell
you. If it is the reciprocated affections of
your husband which make you happy, it is
yours which make him so; hence mutual
affections constitute the source Of connuJdal
6hSs; and it is equally true that the inteh
city of the married state, tollo,cs the loss Of
those affections. On the continuance of the
affections, then, no less than on the choice
of a husband, depends your happiness in the
welded life. The means to insure a con-
tinuance OF these affections, is the subject
next in course for your consideration.
:" So numerous are the instances in which
married people have lost their affections for
each other, that the unrehecting have has
lilly concluded, that it is easier 10 acquire
than retain them. II this be true, il yoes
to prove that you should be more assiduous
to retain the affections of your husband,
than you were TO gain them. But it is not
true TO the extent which many believe. Ii
is rery unphilosophical to argue, that like
causes will not produce like effects-or that
the effect VIII cease, though the cause be
continued. The truth most probably is.
that when the affections of married people
become extinct it is owing to their neglect
to continue the causes By yvhich those eJfections
aoere FIRST eticited. What man IN his senses,
if he knew the disposition Of the lady he
would fall in love with sour.
sulky, brawling, ill-natured woman? Itis
the opposite qualities which he sees, or
thinks he sees, IN the lady of his choice, OF
which he becomes enamoured. 1t is coun-
tenance slammed with smiles, eyes beaming
with intelligence, mOu.h flowing with
sweetness and good nature-in short, de-
pertinent indicative of modesiy, mildness
and benignity, to which he pays the homage
OF his heart. If such were causes by which
were quickened the tenderness of the lover,
rely on it that nothing short Of those will