The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1863-12-04

Spare Lines.

escape. It's length is not given.
Why arc book.keepcrs like chickcns' Be-
cause they have to scratch for livelihood.
Why is legislator most blasphcmous
man? Because ho cannot take his scat with
out an oath.
II q man sitting on chest Is shot at, he
would prefer, IL hit ut oil, to be hit in his
chest.
Some women take such delight in scolding
that II would be cruel not to give them occa-
sion for Il.
You cannot dream yourself into charac-
ter; you must hammer and forge yourself
one.
DR.. franklin says that 'cvcry fragment Of
the day should DO saved. oh. yes, tho mo-
mcut tho day breaks, SGT yourself at once to
save tho pieces.
A man Of philosophic temperament roscm-
bles cucumbcr-ior although hc may DO
completely cut up, ho still remains cool.
They say there arc tropical flowers that
expand with perccptible sound. The full
opening Of the blossom Of lovo is generally
audible In kiss.
An English writer classifes old maids and
old bachelors rs solitary mature mon, and
women who have nothing happening to
them
Some men can be influenced only by tho
cudgel. Their consciences arc as tough rs
alligators' backs. and their backs as sensitive
as alligator's, bellies.
The soundest argument produces no moro
conviction in an empty head than the most
superficial defamation: as feather and .
guinea fall with equal velocity in vacuum.
Some women paint their faces and then
weep because It does not make them bcauti-
full. They raise a huo-and cry.
Heroine is perhaps Us peculiar word as
sny in our language; tho two first letters OF
it arc malo, tho throo FIRST female, tho four
first brave man, and tho whole brave wo-
man.
Dear me, how auidly he talks!' said Mrs.
Partington recently alta political mccting,l
ON always rejoiccd when ho mounts the nos
trils, for his eloqucnce warns mo in every
cartridge of my body
A company Of young ladies discussed tho
question: what is tho great duty Of manr
Ope of them, dressed Ia mode from head to
foot, contended that it was to pay milliner s
bills. This was agreed to without dissent
ing voice.
A lady passing along the street one morn
ing last week. noticed a little boy scattering
salt upon the sidewalk, for the purpose of
clearing of the ice. We'll, I'm surc,' said
tho lady, 'this is real bencvolcncc.'. No, II
ain't,' replied tho boy, its sah.'.
MY son. said fond parent to his of.
spring. alter having surveyed tho wonders Of
the Crystal Palace, my son, il you can tell
mo which of all these marvellous works Of
man pleased you most l will givo you half
crown
The veal and ham pies responded young
hopeful; give mo tho money
An ingenious person has discovered that
tho three most forciblo letters in our alpha:
bet arc N Il q that tho two which contain
nothing are NJ T; that four contain great
corpulcnce, OBCT; that two arc In a de-
decline, d X; that four indicate exalted
station, X L N Q, and threo excite our tears,
yet when pronounced together, arc necessary
to good undcrtanding-L Il q.
At the theatre, Vienna, all ladies arc re-
quired to tako OF their bonnets before on
tering tho theatre. It Is almost impossible
for persons sitting behind u lady with her
bonnet on to SEQ what is going forward on
tho stage. At q theatre iu Paris printed
bills about tho theatre contain tho following
announcement: 'All tho young and haud.
some ladies arc requested to take OF their
bonncts. All others may keep them on,
When James IL. Brady, tho celebrated
lawyer of New York, first opened lawyers
Office, hc took basement room which had
previously been occupied by a coblcr. lilo
was somewhat annoyed by tho previous occu-
pants callers and irritatcd by tho fact that
he had fow Of his own. Ono day an Irish
man entered. Tho coblcr's gono, ! SEQ, no
said. Il should think bc HAD tartly ro-
spondod Brady. And what do you sell? no
asked, looking at tho solitary table and
fsw law books. 'Blockhcads, responded
Brady. 'Begorra,' said tho Irishman, 'yo
must be doing a mighty Gno busincss-yo
haint got but one left. s.. -.
A WE'LL Losr.-The Lewiston Journal