Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1863-08-26
CrOakers.

The Richmond Why in an article entit'ej
Beware Of Croakers, thus flies into tins,
class ofindiyiduals -routs them eth terrific
slaughter-lnakes the fur fly in every direc-
ton. lis ~er,ough'to make even a " Croak
Il" Iaueh. it's a perfect chef d'oecre of
wit and irony and-huM. Rsad it, everybody.
I. "A eccentric physician oace said sit is
harli 10 tell biz frommisery." Our word "m;.-
ancholy,' derived from The Greek, means SIM
ply "blnck bile" Check the functions of the
liver, the system becomes jaundiced, and the
Whole world looks yellow. Tie world has not
clanged-tLe eye has.
But there is, SO To speak, a liver of the
mind asweli as Of the body, and the former
rs much more easily derangcd than the latter.
Wien the, mental Hepatic functions are dis
ordered, hypoci ondria ensures, and tn. wiscst
OF n,en becomes "a foo! full of despair.
Plague, pcs'ilence and famine, war, death
and taxes m)uht him axe 50 uiany nightmare
and .ruh llin ut G;ipin speed. through an in,
serminables Slough of Despoah. His eye
fl ckers aud drooEs, his nose acquires a per
rnanent %sniyel, his voice croaks like the voice
of an ancient bull-lreg. He is diseased as
thoroughly aS job was, only his boiis and
scabs arc concealed from view under Iii. brain
pan ; and what is worse, his disease is both
contagious and Infectious. Let him button.
hole You for FIVE minutes, aud You are lost.
Let him tel you his tale, AID You arc gone
forever. His words have m6se POISON in
them than the saliva Of the Hama Of Peru.
qmu will intone like s'rain crow. The black.
hess will Cover the earth. II YOU attempt TO
your face viii! split like piece Of
warped Notwithstanding or chapped lip in
or q Hegro'S heel in su1nIner time.
Tie sight OF Confederate money will give you
1 pain in the stomach. a jar hr on all a. =
o=n limGwlll shock you like Il battery of ar
,illery Ill flll blast. All manner Of stocks
will lose their stiffness and appear to you as
imOcr rs q cotton .cravst in August. The
rice ofputty will be appalling. TaA child {
yours who dares to eat more iban ono /.
hin bacon rind for dinner, will he regarded. j
Y you as a murderer. There viii be a weak :
fSs In jour knees-you will bSsseter inled :
slack-twisteaeNassH1p. 1t will occur to {
o that the interest on Confederate bonds
ught to be eight per cent. a day, payable in
You will look upon Mr. Memminger
!. 9 personal enemy and o pick pocket. :
~'aristics Of the durability Of old clothes viii
ecorne inet.lh!y precious reaiing TO you.
VII suggest i~tselft TO you that the duty Of
he i'll war times, is either to take in wash.
g and support herself, or else 10 rcnain in
vi and limit herself to one chicken scrag a
week. The length Of the wal and the aye
Methu'elah will strike you as idcnticaIly
e same. There will be Il great many SOUR
apes this year Peach fuz will run YOU
i'd, and the plug out of a green watermelon
IL give you the dropsy. You will wonder
~ President Davis don't come and explain -
ngs to you, and You will wish he and his a.
blnet were hung with a cow-itch vine, RS
e population of the North will be fur bill ~
J, the population of the South will be about g.
ee hundred aud eleven, mostly infant, at ire
breast. All IL. grit in the Southern giz- W'i
d will turn into weak ley and every blade i ha'
grass, every leaf in the forest, and every lon
in Of sand will turn into q Yankee, armed du.
b q ten inch columbiad. You will think ori
time for Gabriel to blow his horn. l
ally. you will take TO believing ~teles7aphic tor
patches and to borrowing newspapers. Aud exc
n You will die. s s,e
of croakers! /