Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1863-11-27
A. Wards Lecture.

Artcmus Ward has been treating the
Bostonians to one Of his lecturos-heaf
what he says;
He had some thoughts Of lecturing on
France. 1t is pity VIC should come to
hate her. After tribute to Lafayette,
he said If Louis J.. Napoleon thinks Of
coming over here, with armies and ships,
he must bring burial cases, for there
would be bigger French funeral than
any since that of Waterloo.
He couldn't think of lecturing on Eng
land, but she needs lecture. John Bull
needs talking to- If he take England as
a subject, he might get angry. An old
lady lost her husband. To relieve oil
suspense how she lost him, she would say
he died He was buried. Subsequently
she observed that she had square funer-
al, but she didn't enjoy herself at the
grave, the horse acted SO. So he couldn't
talk Of England, his temper would act
SO.
The British Lion has twice been over
here, and twice gone homo with his talk
shortened; if he comes q third time ; he
will 90 home with no tail at all. His
tail is not like those Of the New York
Ledger it can't be continued. It was
absurd to think of music as a subject
He heard once Of faan who boasted that
he could play all Of the opera Of Traviata
on chest Of carpenter's tools. He'd
give his best head of hair, and it was =
good head, too Though it was hard to
para), yet he'd give all to be able to sing
"Gaily the Troubadour." Hc liked piaaos
in moderate doses he once boarded in :
house where four lovely sisters played the
piano all four sang and played that very
rare piece, "When this Cruel War is
Over !" they never learned any air but
that ere air." John Browns bones,
with his knapsack strapped to his soul, is
good, but becomes monotonous when heard
for six months. =.-.-.
There also resided il the same house
an unmarried Iady-s very unmarried
ady-thc most unmarried lady he ever
saw--of only fifty-two summers. She
played the ACCORDION, and sung "My heart
IS throbbing fer thee He shudderod
lest she had him in her eye, SO he said
"let it throb."
He once thought OF lecturing on Afri-
ca. 1t was pleasantly situated and sey..
eral modern improvements, rather black
there; but people don't see it in that
light. The hotels are all on the Ethio-
plan plan. Has no Congress other hsb-
its are good. There are no riots il AZ
rica-pocms written in quart measure.
Every one is searching-some for mon
ey, some for frends-in a word, search
(such) is life.
Some people put on airs. There ought
to be no airs in republican land, but
there are. We Of New England have .
good many airs. 1900.
We org ght to like our relations all but
our foreign relations, but we ought to like
Russia. If the Emperor Of Russia
should ever come to New York, he weuld
tel him to take his yalise round to his
clearinghouse and it shouldn't cost him
4 cent.
An igroramus ~iIl put on airs. A
man said he was glad habeas corpus was
suspended; the old cuss ought to have
been hung years ago.
He supposed the audience would think
he changed his base too often; that he
ought to make a forward movement ON
the ghosts; but he had been repuIsed.
ard wac d-moralizea.
The best thing connected with his lect-
IRE was that it contained so many mat
tiers that had nothing to do with his sub
lcct. He didn't detain the audience long
upon any enc of them, as yellow fever
vas once declared to be good. 1t didn't
GctGin q person lcny. Some people curb
their ambition because Caesar was slain
in the market place by Brutus and Et tu;
soma excuse for Rrutus, but what for Et
tu? Where were the police while this
riot was going on?
Ambition is good thing. Alexander
the Great was amDitious-old Aleck wept
because there were nc more worlds to
conquer were he giivo now he'd be in
favor of making him Brigadier General.
Without ambition man is Il poor stick.
Poetry never occurred to him as sub
ject, though it was pleasant to get up in
the morning, when the dew on the grass
was dewing; it dews (doesl more in sum-
mcr than ia winter; the .larks flying in
agile manner, the robins that never harm
ed g child skipping; the swallows swaE-
lowing, and the bees bees waxing.
1t would have been better if somo
newspaper writors had been born hens.
then their lays would have been of some
value.
He would speak of fashion, hut fashion
was a tough subject, tougher than the
fowl they had all heard of that was skim
ned, boiled, parboiIed and marboilsd'; it
is solemn truth that when put ON tho
table, it got up, and erowed. Hc mover
believed this story, till gentleman in
Washington, who sends telegraphic mes
sages to the newspapers concerning tho
war, and who wouldn't lie on small mat
tcrs, said il was 50.