The dollar weekly bulletin. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1862-1864, 1863-03-12
THURSDAY MARCH 1e
From the Bangor Me. Democrat.
A Plain Epistle to Uncle Abe.

As can't 60 to Waship gton.
And as you wont come here,-
I'm forced to put it into type,
With circumspection meek:
AS bashful members often print
A speech they dare not speak.
Ny head is nigh to bursting, Abe,
My very eye-balls throb,
To see what pesky work you make
About that little job
Which you, and Bill, and Horace G.,
Agreed so nice to do,
In less than "sixty days. from date
Some twenty months agol
We gave you heaps ofsoldiers, Abe,
To help you smite the foe;
A string of warriors that would reach
From here to Mexico.
We packed them off with spades to dig,
And tIusty guns to shoot,
With haversacks to grace their backs,
And flies and drains to cot.
You saw these mighty legions, Abe.
And heard their manly tread;
You counted hosts of LiUin0 men,
Pray can You count the deadF
Look o'er the broad Potomac, Abe,
Virginia's hills along,
Their wakeful ghosts are beck'ning you
Two hundred thousand stroDgl
We gave you several shillings, Abe,
To pay your little dues:
Enough to buy dozen shirts,
And sundry pairs of shoes!
We gave you cattle, horses, mules,
And kwagons-fnll a score;
And several cannon with voice
Loud as bull could roarl
Now, what Pm after, Uncle Abe,
Is simply to find out,
Wha' you have done with all this 'ere,
And what you've been about!
If, unto Caesar you have given,
AlIthat is his concern,
Then Mrs, CCESdr wants to know
What you have done with hernl
1 know you're young and handsome, Abe,
And funny as our Pol,
A peer exalted, great and high,
A ruler sev en- foot tall;
You're big enough, if only smart,
To manage all the gang;
And though little green you'll rise,
When you have got the hang!
You told us that the Locos, Abe,
Were rascals to the core,
Because they made so free a use
OfUncle Samue1s store.
Full Ssrty millions an a yeGrI-
Now wasn't 1t a sin
For Democrats to squander thus
The darling peoples tina
And are you not deserving, Abe,
Both gratitude and grub,
For baviGg stopped this wicked leak
The sage who did this wondrous deed,
Is fit with saints to sup;
1t only costs t1C0 billions mare
To plug the vessel upl
You said the South had ruled us, Abe,
Some fifty years in peace,
And that the time had fully come
When their vile reign should cease;
That You were bound 10 take the helm
The sinking ship to save
And put her on another tack
o. And-Z really think gou hazel
You're out OF luck entirely, Abe,
The engines off tie track;
The biler's burst, and there you are,
A spIawling on your back!
The exerciseman Is at the door,
Contractors cry for pelf,
You're blind and stupid, deal and lame,
Nor very we'll yourself.
Your Cabinet is feeble, Abe,
And dull as any Ounce;
And if you have an ounce of brains,
You'll ship them off at once;
Send Stanton to the Feeiee Isles,
Give Welles and Chase the sack,
, Swap Halleck for Hottentot,
And send for LITTLE MAol
- Iknow you'll tell us, Uncle Abe,
This is a might war;
And that the job is rather more
Than what you bargained forl
That you have done the best could
To make the rebels rue it,
And ifyou knew what next to do,
You'd go right off and do It'll
Row that's the very thing, Abe,
That makes this din and clatter;
You don't appear to ''see it'', Abe,
And that IS what's the matter!
Il The Nigger's in the wood-pile, Abe,
AS shy as any trout;
Do YOU think the PROCLAMATION, Abe,
Will smoke the weasel outl
You want to free the darkeys, Abe,
.0DAt least, l so constTue it;
The difficulty seems to be
To find out how to do It.
The way, dear Abe, is mighty dark,
And bothersome to see;
/ fear you'll have to give 1T up,
And let the darkey be.
I tell you what it is, Abe,
The folks begin to think
This colored sop is rather stale
For vietuals or for drink.
Dur mothers love their absent sons,
Our wives their husbands true,
But no one cares q mouldy tg
For Cuffy or for you.