Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1863-08-22
NICK.NACKS.


When does q bottle resemble Ireland
When it has cork in it.
What tree is that which is of great use
in history? The date tree.
If lady wishes to preserve her heart,
in what liquor ought she to keep it? In
cider. ( (ln'side. .her)
Joy and grief have alike their tears :
guilt and innocence have alike their
bushes. ,a>, ,9.. 81. ...-..
Innocence is no security against tenn o.
tation. 1t is exactly what temptation
conquers. ....,...,
Many philosopher who thought he
had an exact knowledge of the whole hu.
man race has been miseraoly cheated in
the choice OF wife. '.'"
A man is like an egg; kept in hot wa
ter little while, he may boil soft, too
long and he gets hardened. -. ="
1t has been said in behalf of second
marriages, that wedIeck is like wine-not
to be properly judged Of till the second
glass. .: ,'"7 Il. 't.'.' '.9
WHY'S young man huggins his sweet.
heart like careless dry goods clerk p
Because he is certain to rample the dry
goods. -. , II. 81 ..>.
A politicians colors: Before election,
red, white and blue; during election, en-
trely blue; after election, black and blue
Some of the bachelors of the Ohio Leg.
islature are for a tax on bustes! We
never knew bachelor yet that had no.
something to say agains, the ladies-be
hind their backs.
Small talents are needed as we'll as
great ones; there are occasions where
candle would be as useful as the sun.
Funeral bells are the door bells of the
other world, and gravestcnes mark the
boundary line between this and that.
We embark in the cradle for a long voy-
age, but in the coffin for one far longer.
Our politicians say it is sweet to die
tor our country, sweeter yet to live for it,
and sweetest of all to live on it.
He only is independent who can main.
tain himself by his own exertions, uneided
and alane.
Modesty promotes worth, but con ceals
it; just as leaves aid the growth of fruit.
and hide it from view.
It is always safe to learn, even from
our manifestation safe to venture to
instruct, even our friends. .
In friendship as in love, we are often
happier in our ignorance than in our
knowledge.
The tendency Of measles, scolding wo-
men, and imprisoned .elons is-to break
out.
The night'cap would be the cap of lber
ty--if it were not for curtain lectures.
He who brings rdicule to bear against
truth finds in his hand blade without a
hiIt--more like to cut himself than any
one else.
He that cannot strive to endure against
the stream, shall hardly attain the port
which he proposes to recover.
When man takes more pleasure in
earning money than in receiving it, he
has taken the !irst step towards wealth.
Keep the horrors at arm s length. New.
er turn blessing round to see whether it
has dark side to it.
Fire Is good thing in the house, but it
should be in chimney, and not in the
wife's temper-cooking the yictuals, no,
roasting the husband.
The angelic of our race die early. Pre-
cious gems are rot for lasting flame:
they but perfume the temple and expire.
If you are conscious of certain infrm;
ties Of character, select companions in
whose society you would be ashamed to
give way to them.
1T is stated that every man is made for
the world. We may say of men that we
wouldn't have any more made like them.
Upwards Of forty million gallons of
whisky, six and half millions CT rum,
and upwards uf one and three.qusrter
million barrels of ale, ere annually man
utactured in this country, requiring the
use, ,of fourteen million dollars worth of
grain, hops and apples. - F.. ~' .s' -
An inyeterate bachelor being asked BY
an involuntary maiden Why he did not Sc.
cure some fond ones company in his voy.
.Fe on the occan Of life, replied, "I would
If ] was sure such an ocean would bo
Pacific" "-.~ --"-.-
if~~.nE l za*t 5E.. u. .tH-..'t @at
J.: I" Can you tell me how the word saloon
is spelt?' was asked of Cockney by. a
Philadelphian. Certainly" said The
Londoner, "there's hess, hay, he'll
two hoes and hem -,.fa -.
United We stand, divided we fall,'
Beeswax says is all a'hoax Until he took
Mrs. II. into his charge, he could stand
we'll enough, but now, he says, confound
me it can. The real truth is, Mrs. Bees.
WAX is an extravagam woman. "<
A good conscience is to the soul what
health is to the body; it preserves a con-
slant ease and serenity within us. and