Mineral Point weekly tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1859-1868, 1863-08-19
Miscellaneous liens.

=" cut of darkness comsth light = a. the
printers devil said when he looked into an
ink-keg.
WHY is minister like locomotive .
We have TO look out for him when the bell
rings. ~
People usually consider two hands enough
for all purposes, but we recently saw a man
who got a title be1,is,d hand.
=" What church do you attend, Mrs. Par
tington:" Oh, any paradox church where
the Gospel is dispensed WITH
= The poet Dryden, on the tomb Of his
wife.
Z. Here lies my .sife, here let her lie
She's now at rest-and / -
The climax of superhous politenesi mas
been declared to be that OF holding d UNI
brella over duck III the rain.
Rebel papers say that the seat of Gov
eminent OF Mississippi, which went out of
jackson II carpet-bag, has located Itself at
Enterprise.
-" How many legs would dog have if you
called his tail onee" Five, of course" NO.
only four 1t wouldn't make his tail leg to
call it one"
= There is world of beautiful meaning in
the following rather liberal translation from
| Freeyille:
''As the clock strikes the hour how often
We say, Time flies when It's we that are pass
| ing away"
= The oldest of three brothers residing in
Moultonboro, \. H., recently married quite a
young girl; the next younger brother married
! the girls mother, and the youngest took for
has wife the grandmother.
1t would seem that the rebel ladies in
the portions of Tennessee visited by the Fed
eral troops can't be considered as exactly
g,rsE son f4i.t LOT rla
Reid says they have stripped of everything.
- farmer, more celebrated for his fine
stock than a good education, spoke to the
Secretary of an agricultural society in regard
to entering his animals for the premiums of
Tered, and added as postscript, as follows
: Also enter me for the best jackass, am
sure of the premium"
- genius in New Bedford is fitting up
steamer for the purpose OF towing icebergs 10
India; where they sell for six cents a pound
Another proposes to do still better-to fit 4
screw IN the iceburg itself, and thus avoid the
expense Of ship building Cute chaps, both OF
en-
"A lady who had boosted highly at the
dinner party OF the good manners of her lit
tie darling, addressed him thus: = Charlie
my dear, won't YOU have some beans -
No." was the Illmannered reply of the
petulent cherub. No." exclaimed the as
tonished mother, . No what = . No beans"
said the child
-" tell you what" said a yender of gro
ceries to a customer, who thought his charges
rather steep, eggs are eggs, nowadays
. | am glad OF 1t, said the customer, for
the last | bought OF you were half chickens"
- Well, what next q said Mrs Parting
ton, as she interrupted Ike, who was reading
the war news" the plcketS were driven in
five miles Bless my poor soul, but that will
make d strong fence. | suppose they had to
be driven III deep to keep the sessionaders
from digging out under them"
A boy who had not returned after The
holidays to school, which the master charged
him to do, came at last loaded with fine ham,
a. bride TO the master, who took the ham,
but logged the lad and told him that ne might
give his compliments to his mother for the
ham, but assured him that it should not save
his bacon.
An emperor OF China making progress,
discovered a family III which the master, with
his wives, children, grandchildren, daughters
in-law, and servants all lived in perfect peace
and harmony. The emperor admiring this.
inquired of the old man what means he en-
ployed to preserve quiet among such a num-
Der of persons The man, taking out pen
ell, wrote only these words, . Patience, pa
tience, patience"
w ouid you be an honest man and enjoy
competency with pleasure, unknown to hasty
wealth or sly rOguery-wOrk. Let your
sweat-drops wash your gains from all dishon-
esty. You shall live TO tell your children
that you have observed and felt the wisdom
OF the royal preacher: Wealth gathered by
vanity shall be diminished, but wealth gath
cred by labor viii increase"
A young lady in company, who had been
tBr Won mi
", was surprised by the young gentleman who
set beside her attectionately putting his arm
around her neck and kissing her Filled with
Indignation she angrily demanded why she
thus insultcd- Ny dear LADY" replied
the young man. gasping with excitement, g
hope | have not offended Really, suppose
that those who .1ishea for compliments would
not object to taking them in so,ockS.
A MAN WITH too MUCH wIFE-Chapman
a witty lawyer of Hartford, was busy with
case, at which lady was present, with whom
he had already had something to do as a wit
ness
der husband was present. diminutiye
meek, torbearing sort of man-who in the
language Of Mr. Chapman, looked like
rooster Just fshed out of Il swiIl barrel;n while
the lady was large portly woman, evidently
the better horse At the former occasion
She - balhed' IN the cross examination The
ld"HeF WIS pressing TIE question with his
usual urgency, when she said, with yiudietive
fire flashing from her eyes:
Mr.. Chapman, you needn't think YOU can
catch me YOU tried that once before"
Putting on his most quizzical expression.
Mr.. Chapman replied:
" Madam, / haven't the slightest desire to
catch You and your husband looks 10 me as if
he was sorry he had"
The husband family smiled assent
pFnntiep's