Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-11-10
SUBSTITUTE WANTED.

The other day Chief Engineer Dean of
the Fire Department, called at the Office
where make shoes for living, and hand
ed me big white envelope, notifying me
that l was drafted, and must report myself
for examination, at Lawrence, on the 18th
Of August.
Now. consider it the duty of evory cisi-
zen to give his life, if need be, for the de-
fence Of bis cnuDtIy, 30 on the morning OF
the eventful 18th, put on clean shirt
and my Sunday ctatheR, and started for
Lawrence, to see if could get exempt
ed.
Lawrence, as all know, is situated o the
Merrimac river, and its principal produc-
tons are mud, dust, and factory, girls
The city proper, at least that part that
say consisted Of lung. narrow entry, up
one fight of stairs, adorned overhead with
a trescOIng OF gas motors, and carpeted
with worn out tobacco guilds, and furnish
ed with one chair, two settees and az many
huge, square packing cases. marked o NJ.
D. Scattered around this p8latial entrance
hall where some forty or fifty cOnscripts,
looking very much as if they expected to
be exempted by reason of old age, before
the young man with the ferOcinus NOUS
! tache should notify them of their turn
Most of them, however. were doomed To dis
appointment. for while they counted the
hours of delay, door would suddenly
open, and the tall young man would single
out q man and march him through the
open doorway, IL be seen no more.
By and bye-that is, after several hours
waiting-my turn came.
John SBluh = shouted the door-keeper
THAT'S me- says l, and with a cheer
from the crowd, entered large square
room where two persons sat writing at
table, and third, evidently the surgeon,
was examining man in the last stage of
nudity.
One of the writers at the table, q Young
man with curley eyes and blue hair, nodded
to me and dipping his pen in the ink, CON-
menced:
John Smith, what's your name?
john Smith, says l.
Where were 700 born p
'Pudunk, Maine
What did your grandmother GIe Off
'Darned il know says l.
Call it hapentap,' says he; and your
grandfather, tOO?'
I don't care what you call it, says I,forI
was little riled by his ronsensicaI ques-
zion.
Did you ever have bOils ? says be.
MOT boil.
'Or fitsY
Nary fit
Or delirium tremens?
No, street.
'Or rickeis?'
'PIl ricket you says l; though be meant
something else.
-
he.
Here took off my coat.
Or the itch p
Yes SIR says 1 that ere fist land
showed very large brown one within three
inches of his nose) has been itching for the
last ten mOnutes to knock your pesky head
of, you little, mean, low lived contemplate
whelp, you.'
Ny dear SIR said the mild spoken, gen.
tlemanly surgeon, laying his hand on my
arm calm yourself, pray Don't let
| your angry passi Ons rise but take of your
clothes 80 can see what you are made
| Of
So | suppressed my anger. and withdraw
ing to a corner, l hung my cloihes on the
| floor and presented myself for examination
clad only with the covering nature had Civ.
| CD Iut1 eACcpG dUoub square lDc0 OF corn
plaster on my right shin, where / had fall
len over a chair, the night before, feeling
| for match.
Young mab,' said the surgeon, looking
me straight in the eye, you have got the
myopia.'
Yes, SIR said I. and good one, too, 6
little Bininger, With drop of StoughtOn
makes an excellent eye opener of a morn
ing.'
And there seems to be an amaurotit
tendency Of the right eye, accomplished
with opthslmis.'
Show ! says /.
And that white spot in the left eye, be-
tokens q cataract
i guess you mean in the ear saws I
cause went in swimming this morning
and got an alfred big bubble in nv lei
ear > and here jumped up and down two
or three times on my left foot, but to M
purpose, As soon as stopped he noun
ted chair and commenced issi z the tor
Of ny head.