Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1863-11-04
A"Polyglot " Lecture.

4" POlyglOt" Lecture.
Charley Browns last able lecture" in
Philadelphia, contained the following para
graphs, which throw great light upon great
variety of subjects:
I do not come here for the purpose Of in
structing anybody. I shall not ignore the
little people, little boys or little girls. I like
little girls; ike big girls inst as well. I do
not desire you to regard these PREDATORY re-
marks as at all apologize. I was never en-
barrassed but once in my life; the eiTcum-
stance is secret. profound secret; I know
It win go no further, there are so many ladies
present. It is said the rolling stone gathers
no moss. I don't see what good that would
DO the rolling stone. don't see what the
rolling stone wants to gather moss for. As
for rising with the lar!s;, prefer to rise
with gold. Some people say that rocks are
like stones. For my part I prefer to be rock
ed to sleep than to be stoned to death. IL
tend to go to California by way of the sea I
should like to go by the way of the Missis-
sippi, because the way is lresI Immense
applause.l
At the close Of one of my bursta of elo-
quence, one gentleman was observed to leave
the hall; he was very much moved. Flo
quence is like gingerbread: you only want
one hunk of it at time. I might have lee
tured to you upon astronomy, and mentioned
the stars, among which the most prominent
is the Southern cross, which is a mulatto. In
stead of lecturing On physical culture, I
thought Of England for a lecture I think
England deserves a lecture. I thought Of
music. I'd give my best head Of hair-and
it's good head OF hair-although, as the SOL
der said to his lady-love, it's hard to part
[great applsuseI-tO write well on that.
A young and very unmarried Lady whom
I once knew, of about ffty-two summers or
some10hsrss about there, used to sing,
"&y heart is thrObbing,"
and I sweetly said, Let it throb.T might
have lectured on Africa. There are no rioters
there, and there is general disposition to see
the draft in force. You will permit me to say
a few words about people who put on airs.
1 revere Bunker Hill, and sometimes when
I am in Boston stop at the Revere Houae.
1 own farm in the State of Maine. should
like to sell it. / have grandmother-two
grandmothers-andI love them. Indeed, we
ought to like our relations-not, indeed, our
foreign relations except Russia. You remem-
Der the remark of a New Jersey magistrate,
about five o'clock one afternoon, I am glad
habeas corpus is suspended at last The old
- ought to have been hung years ago"
There is one good thing in speaking on so
many good topics in so short space of time,
you don't dwell long on any Of them Like
the yellow fever it don't detain you long
Ambition is very good thing in its way
Alexander wept, as you, no doubt have been
informed, because he had no more worlds to !
conquer, and if he were alive now, no doubt
he would weep again and be appointed to
brigadiership. Poetry never to me was a
subject for lecture. If some of our news
paper rhymers had been hens, their lays might
have been of more profit to the market
There were two new subjects which intend |
ed to grapple with; but able minds do not
grapple in my family. These two subjects
are Slavery and Temperance. VIII you lis
ten to me for four hours on Slavery and Tenn
perance2 might lecture on Love, Court
ship, MarimUny, &c There arc unpleasant
marriages, and there viii be as long as IN
pleasant people continue to get married. In
all marriages there are squalls.
Of course in all marriages you must look out
for squalls. [Great laughter.l To me absurd
people are most refreshing Among these is
the old maid who objected to a mansion
house because it had not bow window in it.
The laugh comes in, ladies, and gentlemen,
at the word bow. I am reliably informed
that Boston has beautiful statuary. I know
it from what saw in Rome-I aIude to
Rome on the Pennsylvania railroad, where
they stop every ten minutes for refreshment.
Now, with your permission, we will talk
about the restoration of the Union. / have
some convictions on the subject, obtained in
the midst of checkerrd career. I don't ez-
actly knew what a eheckered career is, but I
use the phrase because it sounds well. Those
men who would pull the Union clock to
pieces will fall, and find their endeavors shat
tered beneath the lightning stroke of the
popular will Ladies and gentlemen, Iexpect
to lecture in San Francisco, California, about
four weeks from tO-day. Tickets admitting
to this lecture will admit to that free of ex-
pense.