Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1863-08-26
Crackers.

The Richlnnnl Why in an article entit'e e.
beware OF Croakers, '!thus flies into tins,
class OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES them with terrific
slaughter-inakes the fur fly in every direc'
ton. Its ~e,,oogh'to make even a " Croak
er" laugh. its a perfect chef d'oeere Of
wit and irony and-hut&. Rad it, everybody
+. "A eccentric physician D.ce said sit is
hard 10 tell bile frommisery." Our word "ma.-
ancholy,'' derived from The Greek, means SIM
ply .i.black BILE" Check the functions of tic
liver, the system becomes jaundiced, and the
whole world looks yellow. Tie world has not
changed-tAe eye has.
But there is, so 10 speak, a liver Of the
mind as well as Of the body, and the former
rs much more easilyderanged than the latter.
When the. mental fepatic functions are dis
ordered, hypocionaria ensures, and tn wiscst
OF nen becomes "a fool full Of despair.
Plague, rcsrilence and famine, war, death
and taxes m punt himliSe 50 many nightmare,
and run Ina Mt G:ipiu speed. through all in
terminables Slough of Despoad. His eye.
A, ckers aud DROPS, his nose acquires q per
of an ancient buil-lrlg. He is diseased as
thoroughly as job Was, only his boils and
scabs are concealed from view under Lis brain
pan and what lis worse, his disease Is both
contagious aud Infectious. Let him button.
hole you for FIVE minutes, aud You ara lost.
Let him tel you his tale, AID You are zone
forever. Ills words have more POISON in
them than. the saliva Of The Hama OF: Peru.
Ym will intone like arain crow. The black.
hess will Cover the earth. II You attempt 10
laIgh, your face viii! split like q piece Of
warpedaweather.boarding, or a chapped lip in
winter, or q negro's heel in summer time.
Tie sight of Confederate money will give you
a pain in the stomach. a jar fv on ain AZ
pan limbwill shock you like Al battery of ar
tillery iii flil blast. all manner of stocks
will lose their stiffness and appear to you as
limpcr rs a cotton .cravst in August. The
price ofpu,ty will Be appalling. Tee child
of yours who dareS to eat more than one
thin bacon rind for dinner, will he regardeasit
BY you as a murderer. There Millbas.@1aS
ness In your knees-you wif:ae water nnleo
and slack-tws-,ci .cueralip. 1t will occur to
!, o that the interest on Confederate bonds
ought TO be eight per cert. a day, payable IN
gold. You will look upon Mr. Memminger
a. a personal enemy and o pick pocket.
Statistics Of the durability OF old clothes Vii!
inef.lbly precious reading 10 you.
It VII suggest itself to you that the duty of
in war times:is either to take in wash
ng and support herself, or else to remain in
,Hd and limit herself to one chicken scrag a
week. The length Of the war and the aye
Methu,elah will strike you as idcnticlIly
he same. There will be Il great many sour
,rapes this year. Peach fuz will run you
mad, and the plug out Of green watermelon
Fill give you the dropsy.. You will wonder
Fly President Davis don't come and explain
linss 10 you, and You will wish he and MS
were hung with a cow-itch vine.
he population of the North will be fur bill !
IN, the population of the South will be about
,ree hundred aud eleven, mostly infant, at j
le breast. All t.. grit in the Southern giz- !
.rd will turn into weak ley and every blade \
T grass. every leaf in the forest, and every i
Of sand will turn into q Yankee, armed d
ith ten inch colunbiad. You will think o
high time for Gabriel to blow his horn.
you will take 10 believing telesyaphic L
and to borrowing newspapers. Aud :,
len you Wilde. e
beware Of croakers!