, 1863-04-16

"Neighbor Smith," said rigid church member,
/" I have been informed that you often drive your
team, aud even go a-fishing or ahunting on the
Sabbath"
"True," replied Smith, but then on those oc.
casions always whistle psalm tunes"
Aunt Hetiy inquired Of the servant girl Il she
came from the Hungarian parts Of the ireland.
On being told that her geographical knowledge
was somewhat defective, she excused herself by
saying, al hain't much lrarnin'; Z never went
to scliOo but one day, aud that was in the even.
in, and we handn't no candle and the master
didn't come"
Josh" said bis mate, docs the sun ever rise
in the West?' -..-
IN ver," said Josh. .-.E
"well, you won't catch me emigrating to the
West, II its always night there. I've cousin, .
carpenter, out there, who is always Boosting how
pleasant it is in that quarter; but it must be all
moonshinep E..-..
"Samuel, my darling" said fond mother to
her sou, I've not seen your book for several days
where is III"
81 know where it is"
"Wcll, where?" .....-...
"Why it's only lost little, kinder-in the barn,
or round out doors; summers, guess p'raps up
garret, or behind the wood pile"
When the suitor for the hand Of daughter Of
Prof Wilson had gained the lady's appreciation,
he was Of course referred TO papa. Having stated
his probably not unexpected case, the young gen.
tlenan was directed to desire the young lady to
come to her father, and doubtless her obedience
was prompt. Prof. Wilson had before him, for
review some book on the ny.leaf Of which was
duly inscribed, With the authors compliments"
lie tore this out, pinned II to his daughters dress
solemnly led her to the young lover, and went buck
TO his work.
An old lawyer was giving advice to his son,
who was just entering upon the practice Of his
fathers profession: My son" said the counselor,
If you have case where the law is clearly on
your side but justice seems to be against you, urge
upon the jury the vast Importance Of sustaining
the law. II, on the other hand, you are in doubt
about the law, but your clients case is founded in
JUSTICE insist on the necessity Of doing justice,
though the heavens FALL"
but" asked the son, how shall manage
case where both law and justice are dead against
meY
"In that case, my son, talk round it, talk round
itp
Anextra train. loaded with jackasses, was trans.
ported over the Louisville and New Albany Rail-
road, few days since. The telegraph operator, q
boy, getting wind Of IL, sent rumor that Gov.
Morton, of Indiana, and Gov. Yates, Of Illinois,
accompanied by large delegation Of Democrats,
with bands Of music, ETC., would pass through at
u certain hour Immense crowds Of enthusiastic
Democrats repaired to the depot, hats in hand,
ready for the expected cheers. When the train
Numbered in, an aged and venerable owner Of q
pair of fabulous ears stuck bis head out Of stock
car and gave vent to long, agonizng hee.haw,
that fairly shook the hills around. CONSERVATION
seized the crowd, and in two minutes not Demo-
crat was to be seen within mile Of the depot
The enrolling officer Of Salisbury District, Nd,
was very active aud thorough in the performance
OF his duty. One day he went TO the house Of a
Couniryman. and finding none Of the male members
of the family at home, made inquiry Of an old wo-
man about the number and age Of the males Of
the family. After naming several, the old lady
us there no one else ?" asked the officer.
"No," replied the old woman. "noue except
Billy Bray" ~ .....
"Billy Bray! where is heH"
ale was at the barn moment ago" said The
old lady.
Out went the officer, but could not find the man
Coming back, the officer questioned the old lady as
to the age Il Billy, and went sway, alter enrolling
his name among those 10 be drafted.
TIE time Of the drifting alne, aud among thos'
| on whom The lot Gell vas Billy Bray. No ON
knew him. WhesU did be livef The officer who
enrolled him vm cIllei on 10 pFod1ce him; and
10 and beloldi Billy Bray Wasa jachass. and stand
nov % the lisl q dsflel ueu as one ol the quot
: Of Msrylandi