Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1863-12-19

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To make bis entrance in pair of enormous
pantaloons, and freise coat which reached to
his heels. was too much for him, and to put on
the wet garments would not BE- possible. In
such trying emergencies, women always con-
trve some way Of escape. The good-natured
Mrs. Nat last compromised the matter
by persuading the hapless youth to stay all
night. Paul was but too happy to consent,
ard as it was impossible to draw any CONVEX
sation out of him, he was shown up stairs to
ia bed which had been hastily fitted up in the
farlhest corner. lie was informed that that
his wet clothing would be dried and placed
at the head of the stairs in the morning.
Hastily throwing himself upon the Led, our
hero gave himself up to such thoughts as Le
could at the moment collect; but his ideas
had been so suddenly scattered by his fall in
the detested cellar, that the result of whntever
reasoning process he went through would be
of very little interest 10 the reader. Sleep,
which so often comes to our relief in times Of
distress, at last visited him, but his slumber
was not of the balmy" kind. Distorted and
dismal were his dreams. At one moment he
was swimming in vast Stygian lake Of black
hairdye (Pauls hair by nature was of lively
brick color)-and again he would fancy HIM
self tumbling backward down some chasm
black as Ercbus, in which nothing was to b.
seen but inuumerablc Mary N-s convulscd
with hideous laughter. Had it entered into
the sleeper's head to dream of Pandeuoniu,n,
the presiding spirits would have been pretty
girls with hazel eyes.
But time waits not even on sojourners in
dream-!and. Morn, with rosy fingers,
. "Unbarrcd the gates Of Light"
and when friend Paul opened his eyes it was
broad Daylight Before he comes down stairs
let us see what is going on in the kitchen.
Mary had arisen with the first meadow lark,
aud was busily engag, in assisting her moth
cr to prepare breakfast. while her father at.
tended 10 some out door employment. Mrs.
N had just placed pan upon the stove
and the savory odOr which speedily arose told
unmis'akably Of" ham and eggs"
Willie the latter are frizzling and spluttcr-
ing away, let us 90 up stairs again.
Paul rubbed his eyes, probably 70 discover
whether he was in the flesh. Having fully
satisfied himself on that point, he peered
around to see if there were any toilet articles
in the room. There was close at hand tiny
were all that an exquisite could wish. while
above hung a mirror. So far .all was we'll.
Now for the clothes. Sure enough. there
thev were, on chair at the top of the stairs.
4 vigorous effort and " Richard (or rather
PauD would be himself again." Paul crept
out Of bed and ran towards his clothes. About
half way was piece Of paper. lie stepped
upon it, when, horrihlc to relate, with crash
it gave wny under him, and in the twinklns
of an eye he descended bodily into the kitchen
below. falling plump into the great pan on the
stove! One moment Mary stood aghast at
the hideous npparition, and then ran screaming
from the room.
The old lady screamed "Fire!" and
"Muuler :" but she instinctivcly saw the ne
ccssity Of rcscuing the sufferer from his pain
ful position.
Having a large fork in her hand, with
which she had been al instant before turning
the meat, and which was consequently quite
hot, she applied it, in her utter absence Of
mind, to his ribs, as If he had been an Indian
captive at the stake.
Yelling in pain, Paul sprang to the floor
lust "a Mr.. n (who had heard the
screams and supposed tho young man was
numbering his household) entered, armed with
bludgcon. Surprised beyond measure to
see the young gentleman Of the night before
In such a scanty habilment, HI was about to
apply the stick to his shoulders Mrs. n
however, iuterfsred, and explained the acci-
dent. ,,..,. ..,. ......e.. ,f
"Up stairs, then, sir!" shouted the stern
old farmer. Put on your breeks and leave
my house r.
Paul dartpd up stairs, donned his clothing
without even looking at the glass. ana limped
ont Of the front door, all Of tho family having
absented themselves to leave the way clear.
And that. gentle reader. was how Pau!
" fell through" with his courtship. It is use
less to state that he ever afterward kept re-
sdectful distance from singing schools aud
pretty girls with hazel eyes.
Ever after the adventure l have recorded,
when the lads Of the village wished to take
Paul Ringlewood down q pig, they had only
to ask him II he was fond Of ham and eggs.
~ The State of Minnesota has increased
the reward offered for the killing Of Sioux
Indians to two hundred dollars per head. A
chance for Yankee enterprise.
----.s .----------
~ The congress of German dentists have
decided that sugar and tobacco are not injuri-
ous to the the teeth. "Wsn doctors disagree
who is to decide I"
~ One command which the rebel Gener-
ais forget to give when they come to the last
ditch is, to "fall in"
T Great Britain has imported nearly six
million gallous petroleum from the United
States this ysar.
r The liberal French journals do not
disguise their rejoicing over Mr.. Mason's fail.