The Buchanan County guardian. (Independence, Buchanan County, Iowa) 1858-1864, 1863-07-21

you specimen of the African race in
general, Democrat in particular, and a
Roman Catholic for sure. / have lately
left the dominions of jeff. Davis and
thrown off my allegiance to the rattle.
snake flag, and come north for the bene-
fit of my Teller creters for the purpus Of
lecterin to the Demercrat in general and
the Copperhead in particular. l do not
intend, Teller citerzens, to enter inter a
lengthy DISCUSSION of the past. l shall,
therefore, come down to de present cri.
sis, or in oder words de bald headed ca.
gle previous, before. and subsequently
arter the comm of Abram Lincum.
What, dissolve this Onion? Make pa
per rags OF de Stars and Stripes =? Roast
de American eagle for secession oys-
ter supper My dear Teller citerzens
you can take dozen of the largest sized
SCOPE scopes, and a dozen OBJ de small
est sized mickey scopes, and bile EN-
down into consolidated quntessence OBJ
a liliputian eyeglass, and sweep wild
your moral vision, de horizontal horizon
Of the two hemisqueers from de Arctic
expedition to de tropic unicorn, and
where will you find such uuder vine
and fig tree for to rest on? Echo an :.
swers whar. OATS what's de matter.
Why, Teller citerzens, we care muffin
bout de South, we can raise wool huff
to raise cotton huff for TO raise shirt
and night cap for cherry male inhabitant
on this celestial speer (includin pelticoats
for de females.) We can raise politi-
clans ruff to ruin any country, and we
raise lager beer huff to drown cherry one
OBJ dem, and dat's what's de matter.
Talk about de mudder country, why she
amt patch on Miss Columbia's tract.
Why, in the year Aunty Dommes 1916,
when de Stars and Stripes wasn't no big
ger dan dambana handkerchief, and de
American eagle didn't hab marry Quill
'cept few pin-featL ers, and coudn't
crow louder dan q bantum rooster wild
de brownsceeters, we salvated the Brit
ish lion till he did't hab toof in his
head, includn his toe nails-dat's what's
de matter. Why, in de present Aunty
Domines we outsail der yachts, outrun
der horses, pick der locks, Paul Morphy
'em, belt der pugilists without glin belt
ed in return--dat's what's de matter
Why. il they send out aligators TO make
discoveries dey get lost in fog and
cant discover themselves, but we kan
Do you suppose if Sir John Frankliu
was quill from de American eagle da
he'd stay in de cold diggins shiverir
himself to death till dc parent stem cum
arier him, eh ? Marry time. HID clint
up de norf pole, grease his trowses anC
slide down home on de rainbow or roar
boreallice-dat's what's de matter. II
conclusion, Teller citerzens, look al d,
great gennus.es es the country ha
thrown forth. Oars Mr.. Cobb, for in
stance. Now dar's de Cobb dat shellet
de corn to de tune Of thirty millions
Daniel Webster talkin and BLOWN 'bou
Alexander Hamilton, tuchin de corps oil
de national credit and il rose TO its feet
Mr.. Cobb struck de live treasury ane
dam il il didn't fall corps-dal's what
de matter. Look at patriots oh dis coun
try. Talk about kossouth and Garibal
di, amt we got the Woods and Seymour
in New York, the Val'andigham, in Ohio
Mahony. in Dubuque ? Amt we GO
de Finnegans, Roszells, Thomases an,
Ercanbracks. here? Talk about Carl
baldi consolidalin Italy. why dem feller
is goin TO make any quantity ob coun
rys out OBJ desc United States. Dem
fellers dat links de pluribus unum SCUM
vulgar. so dey's goin TO change it
ebluribus plurem. In de year Aunt
Domines 1916 how was dis country bouu
ded I'll tell you. 1t was bounded o
de norf by de celebrated female Saratog
and broder of hers by do name Of Yorl
town and de capture Of Andle it WI
bounded on de southeast by Mall Pitcf
or. de Salem witchcraft. and de Bos,o
tea party, and on de west by-by--by
howhn wilderness. Now how is i. boul
ded ? 1t is bounded on de norf by ebe
ry ting dat's good TO eat and drink, on {
soui by secession, on de east by de gre
eastern, and on de west by j. Have
Pixies Peak, and rourin Indians.