The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1863-05-29


prise to the enemy, upon the principle that any
movement whatever of this Army must surprise
everybody"
was rejecting seriously upon this unan-
swerable explanation of profound strategy my
boy, when Captain Bob Shorty came rattling up
with paper in his hand, and says he; At
tention, Company while I read document
calculated to restrain the RIGHTEOUSNESS of a
corrupt and vicious press:
GENERAL ORDER.
"For the purpose of preventing the trans
mission of all news not previously published IN
the morning journals of the so-called Southern
Confederacy, it has been determined by the
General Commanding to require all correspon-
dents of the press to affx their full names, ages
and addresses to whatever matter they trans
NIT for publication, thus giving to the journals
of our time the double character Of newspaper
and business directory. Reporters having vu-
gar names, like Jones, Smith or Stiggins, will
be ct liberty to assume the names borne by the
most popular characters in the exciting tales
furnished by our weekly journals of romance
such as Lord Mortmore, Claude de Percy, Les
ter Heartease.
Correspondents who do not comply with
this requirement viii not be permitted to assist
in surprising the so-called Southern Confeder-
acy.
'rPHE GENERAL OF THE MACKEREL BRIGADE"
Blue Seal.l
After we had all truly dgested this useful
and sagacious General Order, my boy, Captain
Samyule Satnith was ordered to make detour
of Duck Lake with the Anatomical Cavalry, and
dig canal in the rear of the wel-known Con-
federacy; and the Mackerel Brigade, under tho
personal supervision of the Grim Old Fighting
Cox, commenced to cross the pontoon bridges
in two divisions. The bridge that was upon,
my boy, was at once attacked at the other end
by surprised Confederacy with large pair of
scissors, who Indignantly cut that end loose.
There was an aged civilian chap, from Albany,
of much stomach and broad-brimmed hat,
standing near Inc, and when he found the
bridge beginning to move, he srlo.e his breast,
and says he: /
"Whcre are we drifting to?"
"Be not alarmed, Mr. Weed,' says pleas
antly; ''we shall soon repair the damage"
''Hem!" said he, 81 wish I'd gone over on
the other platform at first"
He aas qnite an old man, my boy, slowly !
sinking into the rising waves of his own fat;
and for that reason appeared to have a chronic
fear of some unexpected submersion."
The Mackerel Brigade, in two parts, having |
reached the opposite shore OF Duck Lake in
safety, the Grim Old Fighting Cox ordered
Captain William Brown and Captain Bob Shorty |
to take each regiment of specialized veterans
and cautiously feel the Confederacics' lines,
while he led the remainder of the national
troops to small village at hand, which he had
requested to be Immediately de-
stroyed. 1t was his great strategical plan, my
boy, to form his lines in the shape Of triangle,
thus inclosing the unmannerly Confederates
between three fires, and winning great geo.
metrical victory. The Contederates being duly |
surrounded, and the village being set on fire at
the apex of the triangle, the Grim Old Fight
ing Cox withdrew to a tent, spread a map Of
the world upon camp-stool before him, and
to take Typographical observations
Drawing from his saddle.bags an instrument |
of opaque glass; of tubular character, quite |
large in circumference about halfway up, and
then tapering into neck, or smaller tube, of |
nearly the same length, he raised it in semi |
position to point about one-and-a- |
half inches above the lower circumference of his |
chin, until he could look through il at an angle |
bisectingits greater circumference upon the map.
The light striking through the body Of this in
strument, cast wavy, fuctuating sort of yell
lowish glare upon that part of the map repre-
.enting the well-known Southern Confederacy,
accompanied by species of soft trickling sound.
After an interval of some ten minutes the OPP
orator saw, by this contrivance, just double the
number Of Contederates he had to contend with. |
It only remained, then, for him to divide the
number thus ascertained by two, and he knew
exactly the number of his foes"
You will observe, my boy, that this singular.
y ingenious device at once revealed to the new
General Of the Mackerel Brigade the truestrength
If his greatest enemy, and inspired him with
strong spirit.
1t was Immediately after this, that the Grim
Did Fighting Cox, issued the following
GENERAL ORDER.
"The manner in which the crossing of Duck
Lake has been accomplished proves that this is
he finest Army ever seen on the plan it, and
s likely 10 prove equally fine on the do it.
have now got the we-known Southern Confed-
sracy where 1 wished to have her, and she must
either ANONYMOUSLY retreat, or come out of her
WORKS ana De annlnliateu ny me ON my own
ground, which is ground-arms
"THE GENERAL OF THE MACKEREL BRIGADE"
Having let fly this General Order, my boy,
he Grim Old Fighting Cox poceeded to com.
,lete his surprise of the enemy by leading bay
met charge from his side of the triangle, and
Immediately telegraphed to the base of the tri-
,ngle that the enemies of human freedom were
etreating before him. This was truly the case;
or the unseemy Confederacics not only retreat
d before him, but retreated with such impetus
If fight upon Captain William Brown at the
vase of the triangle, that they actually drove
lim clear out of his place, and proceeded to oc-
upy the base themselves. Thus matters stood
1t the conclusion of the first day.
Early on the second day, the Grim Old Fight
ng Cox charged again upon some fresh regi- |