The weekly Butte record., 1863-01-24

could be better reached by emitting the usual
plethora of adiectiyes and repetition OF weak
phrases aud arguments in single articles. He
would move that a committee be appointed to
arrange standard OF condensed style for news
paper writings.
This motion aroused Fustian, Of the Spin
tertown Aeorlite,r who with grand sweep Of
the head and outstretched arms, protested that
genius could not be entombed in a mere sarco-
phagus of words He felt that his mind, in its
impulsive throes, must continue to trajeet It's
opaline hues over the broad empyream of in
tellectuality by the unShackled inspiration Of
Webster's dictionary.
Dobids, of the Cogwheel of Progress re-
/ marked, that there existed certain class Of
readers. who like turkeys, gobbled up anything
that glistened, and that, perhaps, it would be
better to mix a little tinsel with their intellec
tual food. He believed that many of his hear
ers had, somehow, become aware of the naked
ness of Truth, and said, that 10 case of an
accidental visit. redundant dressing would be
necessary, before the stranger could be accept
able 10 the public
| The motion was then withdrawn.
| kilks, of the Mental Plummet," desired to
know, if paper would not Immediately fall in
price twenty five per cent, in event newspaper
publishers simultaneously sent all unpaid sub
scription bills to the paper mills for re. grinding;
and whether greater profit would not accrue
from such procedure than from a retension of
these accumulations?
/ Ruffles, of the Modicum," said, that the
/ present crisis more than ever, confirmed him in
/ the belief that an aristocratic form of govern
Rent is the only true one. 1t was evident that
the masses had combined to " bull the paper
market, by retaining their tattered garments
! for longer wear and inflated prices. He pre-
dcted the total failure of their plans for the
longer garments are worn, the greater the net
yield of rags, by reason of which prices must
/ fall
Thumps, of the Pungleton Bat, after exhi.
biting sheet of foolscap paper, on either side
of which but few specks of original purity
were visible amid may stretch of blackness,
proclaimed it to be metaphysical essay on
Consistency" and capable of filling six ample
newspaper columns. The author had given
him the assurance that it was thus cross-wrtten
in compliance with the frequent editorial ad
goI
upon the public the duty of being economical
in the use of paper and he, Thumps, had in-
formed the author. that for the sake of consis-
tent economy the essay should be left in its
present form.
Rimple of the Magnitude" said, that he
had longed for some practicable substitute for
cotton 10 paper making. Several thousands of
different materials had been proposed aud he,
himself, had hopefully experimental Oh soap
suds and boarding house biscuits but had been
unable, in either case, to fully separate the
| fbres He stated that be had succeeded in
getting paper Of fine appearance from Cali
fOrnia production, the soap.root but whenever
he had attempted, editorially, to give coem-
porary or politician hard rub, its reaction
on the damp paper produced nothing but froth.
Ii conclusion, he recommended the root of
evil as the best material for producing good
paper.
A veteran of the press was now called upon
to demonstrate some suitable plan or remedy
for the newspaper distress. His remarks were
as follows:
Gentlemen Of the Fraternity: see before me
much representative honesty aud talent. Yet
grief worketh in your eyes. Paper has ad
vanced one hundred per cent. on former cost !;
and, between taxation and causalties, there
exists state Of decline in spare change and
subscription lists. Gentlemen, you ask for a
remedy; know of but one, and it is this for
the benefit of one,half the newspaper fraternity,
let the other half throw aside their precarious
occupations and 90 into the rag picking busi-
ness
An ovation of inkstands just then encircled
the head of the speaker, and gave its locks a
rejuvenized appearance, during which episode
the convention adjourned sine die
Golden Era.
IL