The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1863-01-17


The above combines the wisdom Of
Solomon with the shop-keeping tact of .
Jew, and aptly illustrates the saying that
"there is but one step from the sublime
to the ridiculous" The only question that
can be raised shout it is, who are "ws' !?
For the CARR CIrr.l
Mr. EDIToR:--As there has been seve-
raj erroneous reports circulated about
town, in regard to the disposition of the
funds Of the T.. l.. Association, by few
persons who know great deal more about
other peoples bu' mess than they do of
their own, and not enough of either to
last them over night, We wish to make a
few explanations touching the subject.
1t has been said tina. the whole amount
realized was spent in carriage hire and
suppers ! We would respectfully inform
our christian friends that it is all lie
The sum Of seventy FIVE dollars has been
appropriated as relief fund for the ben
eft Of the poor of our city, leaving enough
to pay room rent, gas bills, &C., and also
about 80 per cent. of the individual ex-
penses of each member.
A portion Of this fund Las already been
distributed by an efficient commtte elect
ed for the purpose, and much suffering
relieved thereby. Ifany doubts exist as
to the truth of this statement, we refer to
Edward Mumm, Esq the Treasurer Of
the Association
We do not deny that we did hire car
riage, as some of the ladies' who took an
active part in the play reside some dis
lance cut of town, and we did not feel in
clined to wnde through the mud up to our
knees to escort them TO the rehearsals-
not to speak Of the Inconvenience of so
doing, although there are great many
who would have been glad of the oppor-
tunity, no doubt, but unfortunately we
were not acquainted with them at the
time. II we have erred, ia thus doing,
We are willing to be forgiven, but We DO
feel under many obligations to the ladies
who assisted us so assiduously in carrying
out our plans for their kindness in attend
inc cpen in q CARRIAGE
AS to the supper, even the poor can
not live without eating, and as that was
all that We got for our time and trouble,
we hope our critical friends will forgive
rs, as we have expressed Willingness to
be forgiven. And if they object, they
can have the privilege Of Selling out" to
some one who don't
also was somewhat humbugged when
| came into this world, as | supposed it
was all drinking, i. c., milk and. honey,
but as | grew older my kind partcnts
taught me to '.gum it" on bread and mo-
lasses, and the habit Of eating has SO grown
upon me that | find it impossible to break
it off without seriously incommoding my
"innards. And if any of our friends dis
like eating. We are sorry for them. for We
don't. And if we ever have another en-
tertainment, we shall most likely have an
other supper, got up in Blues best style,
regardless of taste, even though it does
come out Of our own pockets.
Now, if any Of our gossiping friends
are very much dissatisfied with the way
"the thing was did," they can satisfy
themselves by visiting some of the poor
creatures who have already been relieved
from want by our distributing committee
We would also say that any who thinl
they have not got their moneys worth
can call on the Treasurer and relate their
"tale Of woe,' and if he does not refund
their Twenty-Five cents in less than sil
months, we would advise them not to wai
any longer, but try getting up an enter.
tainment on their own account, and w
will patronizs them cheerfully, without
aski.g any questions or making any re
marks, for it will be much cheaper in th.
end, for us to do 30, As we are each Of US al
ready from three to FIVE dollars out O
pocket. Respectfully submitted by
@. Il. b., M. X. L. s.
4 --------------------
4 EE The coach upset twice on the wa
fen.,, I.,xua Mr. A. he Al .s.aa .a...:.~.