Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1863-09-24
A MELTING STORY.

A MELIlHd OIOh1-
One winter evening country store
l.ene, ia the Green Mountain State
was about closing the doors for the
night. and while standing out in the
snow outside. putting up the window
shutter, he saw through the glass q
Iounging fellow within, grab pound
Of fresh butter from the shelf and de-
posit h in his bat.
The act was no sooner detected than
the revenge hit upon, and q very few
minutes after found the store-keeper at
once indulging his appetite for fun to
the fullest extent. paying of the thief
with Q fsetious sort OF torture, for
which he might have gained premium
from the old inquisiiion.
"I say, Seth. said the store-keeper.
coming in and closing the door after
him. shaping bis hand over his shoul-
ders, and stamping the snow off his
feet.
Seth bad his hand on the door. his
hat on bis head. and the roll of butter
| in bis hat, snxi GUS to make bis exit as
soon as possible. g.G1o.
III say, Seth, sit down. / reckon
how, on such an e-tsr-nal night as this,
little something wouldn't hurt q fel-
ler."
Seth felt very uncertain. He had
the butter and was extremely anxious
to be off but the temptation of some
thing warm sadly interfered with bis
resolution to CO. This hesitation,
however, was soon settled by the right
owner Of the butter taking Seth by the
shoulders and planting him in a seat
close to the stove where he was in such
q manner coruered in by boxes and
barrels that there was but one way
possible Of getting out, and right in
this sure enough the store-keeper sat
down.
"Setb, well have a little warm
Santa Cruz" said the Green Mountain
grocer; and be opened the stove door
and pushed in as many sticks as the
space would admit; without it you'd
freeze going home such night as
this,
Seth already felt the butter settling
down closer to his hair. and jumped
up, declaring be must go.
"Not till you've had something
warm, Seth, so conceive got story
to tell you. too; sit down now" and
Seth was again pushed into his seat by
his cunning tormentor.
"Ob, it's tn darned hot here" said
the petty thief, attempting to rise.
''Sit down-sit down-don't be in
such q hurry" retorted the grocer,
pushing him back into bis seat.
"But I've got the cows to fodder,
and some wood to split, and l must be
going" said the prosecuted chap.
"But you mustn't tear yourself away
10 this manner, Seth. Sit down; let the
cows take care of themselves and you
keep yourself COOL" said the roguish
grocer with a wicked leer.
The next thing was the production
OF two smoking glasses Of hot rum
toddy, the very sight OF which, in
Seth's present situation would have
made the hair stand erect on his head,
had it not been well oiled and kept
down by the butter.
"Seth, I'll give you toast now,
and you can butter il YOURSELF" said
the grocer with such an air Of con-
scious simplicity, that poor Seth still
believed himself unsuspected.
"Setb, here's a Christmas goose,
we'll roasted and basted, eh? | tell
you that its the greatest eating in crea-
ton. And, Seth, don't you never use
hogs fat, or common cooking butter to
baste with-come take your toddy."
Poor Seth now began to smoke as
well as melt, and bis mouth was her.
ueticslly sealed as though be had
been dumb. Streak after streak Of the
butter came pouring from under bis
hat, and his handkerchief was already
soaking with the greasy overflow
Talking away as il nothing had hap
pened, the grocer kept stufing the
wood into the stove. while. poor Seth
sat bolt upright. with bis back against
the counter and his knees almost touch
ing the red-hot furnace in front Of
him.
"Plsgued cold night this" said the
grocer. "Wby, Seth, you seem to
perspire asif you were warm. Why
don't you take your hat off? Here, let
me put your hat away.
"Nor" exclaimed poor Seth at last,
with a spasmodic effort to get his
tongue. clspping both hands upon his
hat. "No, 1 must GO! Let me out; l
amt well; let me gol'
A greasy contract was now pouring
down the poor fellows lace and neck,
and soaking into his clothes. and his
very boots, so that he was literally in
a perfect bath Of oil.
"WelI, good night. Seth," said the
humorous Vermonter. ''if you must
gor' adding as he left, "neighbor. l
reckon the fun I've had out of you is
worth a ninepence, SO won't charge
f. A. Il