Staunton vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1860-1896, 1863-08-07
LincoIn's Thanksgiving--Te Deum Of
the YankS.

liglOuS rites TO De observer, Dut Wouiu cuS
gest programme as follows:
First Of all, let there be grand proees-
sion 10 Pennsylvania Avenue, proceeding
to platform on the Capitol steps. where a
commemorative sacrifice should be offered
up. of old Scott, wrapped III the United
States flag, and the other sacri6cial rams,
Mcdowell, Patterson. Mcclellan, Fremont,
Pope, Burnside, Hooker. &c, who, at va
rious times. have been knocked in the head
for the good Of the Republic. Such spec
tacle would have a fine moral and religious
effect, impressing upon the minds Of men
the transitory character ofbnsaan glory. in
general. and the pershable properties Of
gunpowder in particular.
Next should come burnt offering, to
consist Of pyramid Of paper currency, rep
resenting the treasury notes, bank notes and
grecnbacks which the United States have
spent in this war, to be set fire to by Chase.
making grand confagration, teaching men
the Scripture truth that riches take to til m
selves wings, and, the most touching truth
to Yankee minds, that the amount Of mon
ey thus represented might just as we'll have
been set fro to by the North as pended in
battle, and come at last to the ashes of re
pudiation.
The next spectacle should be the bones,
liz they can be got, Of the two hundred thou-
, sand Yankees who. according to the North
ern journals have persisted in this war
They might be built up in vast pile, sur
rounded by ditch deep enough to hold the
| tears Of their bereaved relatives, and encom-
passed by their unhappy widows and faith
erless children, whilst Lincoln should sit on
the top. with a fiddle III his hand, playing
icheerfully 10 the tune Of .Nobody's hurt. "
! Onthe outer circle at the group there should
be grand dance of the contractors, extor-
TONERS thieves, harlots, murderers, and
ether angelic intelligcnces VINO have been
called into being by the war.
! EVERYTHING being thus prepared, and
Seward, who has of late assumed the sacer-
! dotal robe, being consecrated High Priest
/ for the occasion, let the I'e Deana proceed :
We thank Thee, oh, Divine Benevolence,
/ that Thou hast enabled US to turn u once
happy land into dwelling place Of devils,
! where the light Of the life giving sun is dar-
kened daily By the smoke of dvath-dealing
batle-felds. aud the nigat, once irradiated
only by peaceful stars, made lurid by the
/ fires Of burning dwellings,
We thank thne that the Table Of the Law,
made only for the ignorant Jews, has been
dispensed with altogether with us. thy
chosen people. There is not one Of the com
Inandnents which we have not broken
Instead of the ono God. spiritual and eter-
1 ual, We have made idols Of the Stars and
Stripes and the Almighty Dollar; instead
of adherence to such obsolete requirements
as thou shalt not steal, thou shalt not com
NIT adultery, thou shalt not take the name
/ of God in vain, thou shalt not bear false
/ witness, thou shalt not covet, we have gone
through the length and breadth of the land
stealing whatever we could lay our hands
on, despoiling female innocence, burthering
the air with curses, lying and slandering
! from sunrise till sunset, coveting, but ta-
| king the same into our possession. We re-
jpice and are exceedingly glad that we, thine
elect children, are released from the dead
letter OF the law and the stale maxims of
morality, and enabled to walk proudly erect
in the spiritual as we'll as political liberty
whereby We are made free.
We thank and praise Thee that, in the
elevation to power of Thine unworthy SER
wants, Lincoln aud Seward, we have been
4 enabled by the vile things Of the world to
confound the wise, and to show to the basest
and p'ost ungodly that hell is not the only
portion of Thy dominions where villains can
have promotion WelGoice that the good
men Of the United States, who were other
wise in danger Of becoming proud and saf.
righteous, have been taught She grace Of
humility by being shut up in bastiles and
threatened with the gallows, thus weaving
their affections from the earth, and colnpell-
! ing them to look to Heaven for a better aud
more enduring country
We thank Thee that Thou hast enabled
us to carry FIRE and sword into peaceful
nation. to make widows and orphans in ev
cry town and neighborhood. to Stay thou
sands oftheir best apd purest patriots, there
! by adding nightly to the il!ustrious host of
martyrs, and taking away the righteous from
the evil to come We pray Thee to speed
on the good work till every male OF our
Southern brethren enters with joy into the
beatitudes Of the blest, and we enter With
equal JOY into their Plantations.
We thank Thee that SO little of our own
Pilgrim, precious, and elect blood, has
| been shed in this war, that we have been
enabled to inveigle the down.trodden OF
Europe into a condition where we have
speedily put an end to their misery, and
that those Of our own native rank and file
who have fallen have been poor men, who
where of no account to society, and whose
loss we can endure with fortitude. 1t we
may not, consistently with our duty to oar
families, support their widows and orphans,
we rejoice that we shall preserve their mem
cries, and thereby induce other poor men to
! 90 and do likewise.
We thank Thee that We have been ena-
/ bled to reverence the Anticipated law which
/ gave prudence to the descendants Of Shem
and Japhet over Ham, and which required
servants to be obedient to their masters. =
We bless Thee for the peace and liberty
WHICH prevail in the best Government un-
der the sun, as illustrated by the New York
riots, and the dead bodies which rot in the
highways and byways. Above all. we ex-
ult, rejoice, and shout hallelujah !! that
while the flower. Of the land lies withered in
death We, Thy servants and sheep Of Thy
pasture. Lave fed IN green nastureS and be-