The Goodhue volunteer. [volume] (Red Wing, Goodhue County, Minn.) 1861-1864, 1863-12-09

C,inn,;;,,,ngs,,i Nm . 1he .zfs1:nters Deyi,.

Clippings From the 'PTinters Devil
The following is said 70 have passed in !;
Ilschool down, east =, ,.q ~ ,5s -
What IS the most northern, town in tn
United siale. ~ . -, ID
F. The north pole.' U.s.. ,.,.
| WHO is It inhabited BY ? u ~. .~s,. !,
BY the Poles. SIR. U.s.. ,.e., .s!....,.t. =
T That's right. Now what's the meaning
Of the word stoop?' 10. x,..nsr
Idon>t know. SIR ...~.,-, .,.,v Z
What do ] do when I bend, over thus !?
I You scratch your shins, SIR 81 ,-,s,;
What does your father do when he, sits
down to the table ?, ,.,<. .,..,}
%'He axes s III the brandy bottle -<~,..
F I don't mean that. Well. then, what
does your mother. do when you sit down te
1.-THE table p .... ..l:
"She says she will rig our necks if we
spill any grouse on the floor
VERY Pol1TE.---A very. gentlemanly in.
diyidual, who had been deprived of a very
valuable umbrella, posted up the following
notice Who was the gentleman who ex-
changed umbrellas with mo the other day,
and forget to leave his p
'M1KE, WHY don't you fire at those ducks
don't you see you have the whole flock
before yeur gun!' L know I have, bat
when get good aim at one, two or three
others will swim right betwixt it and me-
A printer out West, whose Office is half a
mile from any other building, and who hangs
his sign upon the limb offs tree, advertisss
for an apprentice. lie says: A hoy from
the country would he preferred.
A horse dealer, in showing off a spirited
nag to customer, received kick in his
ribs. Although s,narting under the pain,
he made up the best face he could, and OK
claimed, Pretty playful creature p.
A man with music in his soul-A chap
with pair of squeakiug boots.
WHY is kissing ones cousin like q half
boot? Because it is bus kin. ,-
AN old farmer says he never buys butch>
ers meat. lie keeps his own beasts and,
and whenever lie wants meat, kills himself
'Dosr thou clean my furniture, fair hand :
maiden p asked Broadbrim of his pretty
servant, who was polishing his escritoire,
l dust,' replied tho maiden. r. .ss@~
OR dear " exclaimed fashionable girl
when she first beheld acucuuber, i always
thought such things grew in Slices
CABBAGE grows wild in Sicily. If this
statement be true, the tailors in that coun-
try can afford to be honest.
A New Orleans poet calls the Mississippi
the most eloquent of rivers. 1t oug ht to lie
it has dozen mouths.
NORTHERN IDEA OF A TnucE.-A Truce
TO alr Compromise.
a TEUToNIC BR1LLIANT.-In one of the
interior villages Of this State, is a tav,rn-
keeper, and in the same place an honest old
German blacksmith, Of whom the former
relates that he employed him to, do some
iron work, and paid him cash at tho time
bu; afterwards learning that neighbor had
some similar work done on time Tor less
price. he inquired the reason therefor, and
the reply vas as follows +..r1.,.*s> -
'You zee ave 70 much scharge on my
book, and ZONE times ] )oze em, and 10
ven | ave goot cash customer scharge .
goot price, but ven / puts it on my book I
do not like to scharge 10 lnnch, 10 If he new
er pay no lose 70 much.'
Is a ride through the country, where The
.ssolemaster' resides, we read the following
sign :-'aHoRsefoRsaL.' We made it o,,t, !
A dorse for Sal. We hope Sal has got her
horse. 4 little farther on WAS grocery
with the following sign 'Corned Pork and
Beef and Hams and Shoulders andfa large
assortment Of the latest novels On arri-
irving At 3he 'Tayrain,' the following sin
hung in the sitting room;--''Se Smoking
Aloud Our escort, who is something Of a
.w.g, procured cigar and commenced smo,
king. Tie landlord happening e pass
through, went 70 him, and said. Young
man, do yon gee Tia. sign 2 90 course !
do; ! saw il the FIRST thing when ! enter.
edl' Then Why are you. smoking 2 Ny
dear sir, I'm not smokisg aloud. ! meyer
smoke aloud. I'll leave j. to the COMPANY
ITne landlord saw there was = mistake
somewhere. and iefs, amid the Toafsa ofths
asse'nb'ase 4sss &sssssz esss*ftssssss- 65E q
.''ss e-e ~ Z = - ~ sstts
"a Il FEv SuuEcrs 7oss Dtscuss,on-Ths
following subjects hare been proposed fer
discussion by ths nemb.s Of the Anti-Iss-
norsnt institution. FiSxt. WbiEu IL 8 the