The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1863-09-17

When is a soldiers ammunition box like a
country road When it is full of cartridges.
Why is blacksmith like safe steed Be
cause one is a horse sheer and the other is a
sure horse.
Timon remarks that soldier is superior to
a civilian, because the former is the rational
being.
''Can you tell me how to find the sheriff S
office ?" eyes, every time you earn five dol
lars, spend ten"
Bacon says labor conquers all things, but
idleness conquers more people than labor does.
Beautiful wether !" as the gentleman said
when he CHANGED to get tender piece of
mutton on his plate, one day at dinner.
The Southern Confederacy is called by some
writers a Golgotha, or place of skulls" OF
a1m@%nl's, certainly.
They are going, if they possibly can, to breech
Sumter, incest Charleston, and then sack the
whole concern.
Labor is the parent of all the lasting Won
ders of this world whether III verse or stone,
whether poetry Or pyramids.
4 western editor was lately shot in an af-
fray. Luckily, the ball came against bun
die of unpaid accounts in his pocket Gun
powder could not get through that
'sPat, if Mr.. Jones comes before my return,
tell him that I will meet him at two o'clock. -
''Ay, Ay, sir but what shall tell him if he
don't come ?"
Wherefore is a negro, with no hair on his
H.,
jected by its members? Because he's black
bald individual.
Why is the letter the happiest of the VOW
els ? The answer is Because is in the midst
of bliss, is in hell, and all the rest arc in pur-
gatory.
The administration of small bieces of ice
has been found by French physician almost
a sure remedy for diptheria and kindred dis
eases of the throat.
A young widow who edits a paper west,
says: "We'do not look so well to-day as usual,
on account Of the non-arriyaF of the mails"
A western editor was recently requested to
send his paper to distant patron, provided he
would take his pay in trade" At the end
Of year he found that the new subscriber
was a coffin-maker.
At young ladies' school, not the most
promising pupil was asked MARY, did Mar
tin Luther die natural death ?" mo, " was
the prompt reply 'he.was communicated by
a bull"
One day, at farm housea wag saw an old
gobbler trying to eat the strings of some
night caps that lay on the grass to bleach
THAT, " said he SIS what [ call introducing
cotton into Turkey"
What is the most noticeable difference be-
tween a shell bursting on board ship and q
The one rakes the decks, while the other decks
the rakes.
At hotel table, one boarder remarked to
another: This must be healthy place for
chickens"
..Why? ?" asked the other
Because never see any dead ones here
abouts'
At Saratoga, the other morning the poet
SAKE, after disposing Of draught of FCon-
ed against the bottling house Of Clark &
White. Alexander was passing, and seeing
SAKE in that position, facetiously asked, care
you the proprietor of this establishment, sir p
NO" was the ready reply, Il am not the
proprietor Of this establishment, but, as you
perceive, have heavy LEAN upon it."
Quillp being about to leave town, remarked
to his servant that he should 'start for New
York tomorrow, Dec UoJeats, God willing
'.What route is that, sir?' inquired the valet
''By way Of Providence, Of course?' replied
Quillp. boston Post
What kind Of horse should person have
during Lent? A fast" horse.