Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1863-04-02
Letter from Jonathan q. smith
TO Governor Tod.
WAsniNeroN, April !, 1863.

WAAHfNGTONt dVli - ioN"'
DEER GuvSrR +. You kno you sent me down
hear about too munths ago. Your kalkerlation
was that when left Columbus the Legislator
Good akomplish THAR graft work Of passcn the DOG
law and drawcn THAR pay regularly. stili th'nk
tba will be able tu git them without my aid, tho
sea tha hav put of the time of adjournment from
the Goth Of March to the 18th Of April. This is
ackordcn to the words Of the sncred hymn which
SCI;
when you git good thing keap 1t. kcap IT,"
Your Legislator Is the most valuable menage.
rie the Stat of Ohio ever oaned. No buddy com
planes of what tina du, for no buddy knows what
tba hav dun. 1t showed THAR wisdcm when tha
konk kludcd to keap THAR duins from the publick
eyes
| Deer Guvncr, onest old Abe thinks you air the
bulliest Gunner and the moast backbonical ruler
snse the time Ncbuchadnazer was Guvner of tho
Wyandot Ingcns. lie thinks you air such a slick
cuss. He likes you cause he ken turn you from
one thing two another just as easy as a feer ken
turn grindstoan. At the end of your axiom.
plished administration you will be provided for
That old backbone Of yours is adequait two emmy
emergency and it wont du for it two crumblc away
in the shades of rctracy.
I've had purity tuf time hear | hay bin
showen Abe the good what has cum of his patr.
otic administrator. We hav abolished slavery
in the District of Columby to overthrow the re.
bellion, but it didn't quite du it. We turned all
the locofocos out ov ofies to overthrow the rebel
lion, but it didn't quite du it. We turned mig.
gers into loyal and intelligent contrabands to
overthrow the rebellion. but it didn't quite du it.
Then We turned them into "Frce Americkens Of
Afriken pescent" to crush the rebellion, but that
didn't quite du it. We Civ profitable contracts
to our relashens and political trends by which tha
have maid millions Of munney to kill the rebell
ion, but it didn't quite du it. Abe issued severa!
proclamashcns to kill the rebellion, but they
didu't quite du it. After tryen menny other pat.
r:otick measures to crush the rebellion, such as
taken men off to government prisens, destroy en-
newspapers, breaken up butternut meetings, is.
suen greenbacks, sccuren the services of the free
Amerkens of Afrken descent, spcnden millions
of dollars to buy up slaves and setten them free,
building hospitals for runaway slaves and ieaden
and clothen them, and sich like, it all didn't
quite kill The rebellion; but now We hav lit on the
right way to kill it. Jist before Congress Civ her
last mortal kick she passed a law maken oncst
old Able military dictator and athorizen him to
draft all the men in the loyal stats. He ken talk
every muthers sun Of them on short notice and
, hussel 'em off to fight for to enforce his P Proca
nation of freedom to the Amerikeus of Afriken
f descent Most of the men will git killed, but
then the loyal and intelligent free Amerkens OF
Afriken descent will git free and cum north and
marry the widderS aud gals and raise up u popu
lashen heavy shade moar loyal than the white
men ever was. This mea sure is bound to kill
the rebellion.
In addishen to the conscription we h av conclu
ded to issue about fifteen hundred millions moar
greenbacks Abe finds the best way two maili
loyal men is to Civ 'em greenbacks. THAR is
thousands of fellers what cum hear Of doubtful
loyalty, but when we stuff THAR trousers with
grecnbacks tha git patriotic all over. Us Yam
KEGS hav always bin CRATE on Speculation. We
got up the war for big speculashen, and it has
bin pro ftable beyond our moast sanguinc kalcu
lashens. We must keap it up for too years moa
and by that time the hole Republican party will
be rich. We doant expect to run the guvermcn
emmy longer than that. We doant care abou
dun it, for it will be as poor, distracted and gir
out as Afrikcn desert.
The Minister from Hayti arrived a few days
ago. He is fine specimen of mankind, six feet
ten in hic, has bright eyes, white teath, bcauti
ful curly hare like that what grows on black
sleeps back and Is about the euler of bay
boss. llc is duck Of a man. When he cum he
kissed Abe the old woman and all the little Lin.
kcns. The first night after he cum Abe swore
he was goin to sleep with him, so he packed the
old woman off with the Children in the trunde
bed, and Abe and the Minister slep together il
the big feather bed. The next morning me AM
the Minister played domiuoes for the whsk c.
but he beat me which pleased Abe so much that
the stood the treat
Deer Guverner you must make the Ohio "But
: ternuts" keap THAR mouths shut. Tha air mai
, ken two much talk. Sea that Union Leagues al
got up in every county to swear people to supper
s King Abraham. We don't care about u mauI
, devoshen to the Union, the constitution, or the
f laws; but he must be loyal to on est ola Abe
t Men may say what tha please against the guy
ernment but tina must say nothcn against Guver
mcnt officers. Attend to these things, which yor
hav tie backbone two dew, and your orders fol
greeubacks will always bea onered Hadn't you
better Civ the Crisis another rip.
But, my dear Guvner, must close for the pres
ent because me and the Minister from Hayti ant
y Abe and two other cullerd gentlemen are about
o two talk ride in Abes ironclad
Draw your pay regularly.
, Yours forever,
1t JONATHAN q. SMITH.
Resolutions Adopted by the officers O