The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1863-07-31

- NO man KNOWS MS strenStu VI nlo
weakness till occasion proves them.
Why arc all mon soldiers by nature
Because they arc oil sons Of mars Mars.)
At u festival Of lawyers and editors, a law
yer gave as toast-"The Editor. lilo al
ways obcys the call OF the devil" An editor
espondcd-'.rhc Editor and tho Lawyer
the devil is satisfied with tho copy of the
former, but requires tho original oil the lat
ter"
There is no use suffering, il you can
help it; good stout, rcsnlute protest, would
often be great deal moro wise and Chris.
tian and beneficial, than 80 much patient en-
DURANGO.
Admiral Foote'S last Ineligible words
wcro al thank Gud Tor all his goodness to
mc--for all his loving kindness to mo. /
thank him for his benefits"
-"Sam, why don't you talk to massa
and tell him to lay up treasures in heaven p
What for? What do uso OF laying up
treasures dcrc, whcrc he never see 'em again 2"
- Young ladies who faint on being pro-
posed to-" can be restored to consciousness
by just whispering in their ear that you were
only joking.
What was Eve made for? II has
boon generally thought that shc was made
for Adam, but they say now that she was
made for Adams Express Company.
Tom Hood said that when young
man, no couldn't wink ut girl, but that
she took it for an offer OF marriage. The
consequence was, that u good many Of the
girls got Hoodwinked.
Mrs. Fitzdragon has long been wait
ing to visit Highgate.Wood Cemetrv, and
the other day she said to her husband, "You
have never yet taken me to tho cemetery"
"No dear, that is pleasure have yet had
only in anticipation"
"A little girl Of four ycarswas saying
her prayers not long since, when her roguish
brother, three years older, came slyly behind
her and pulled her hair. Without moving
her head shc paused and said :-.Plcasc,
Lord, excuse mo minute while kick Fred.
dy."
Would you bc an honest man and on.
JOY competency with pleasure, unknown to
hasty wealth or sly rogaery7 Work! Let
your sweat drops wash your gains from oil
dishonesty. You shall live to tell your chill.
dren that you have observed and felt the wis
dom of the royal preacher :--"Wcalth gath
cred by vanity shall bc diminished, but wealth
gathered by labor will increase"
NKw INVENTION see il stated that q
genius somewhere in that NEUROLOGICAL coun-
try called .'down cast" intends applying for
patent for n machine which ho says, when
wound up and set in motion, will chase hos
over q ten acre lot, catch, yoke, and ring
him and by slight change Of gearing, 1t
will chop him into sausagcs, and work his
into "a cork.screw.
uThe n. Y, Herald puts down the area
of rebellion in its largest proportions at $780,
COG square miles, In 1862 the military lines
of JED. Davis had been reduced 80 rs to in
clude only about 100000 square miles. IL
now estimates that tho rebel lines includes
only about oo3S, 900 square miles, or only
about one fourth the territorial area repre-
sented in the congrcs OF the so.called "Con'
fedora States" A very largo reduction Ger
tainly.
- When Sheridan was found drunk In
a coalhole and questioned a. 10 his name, re.
piled that his name was 'Wilberiorce,' he did
u sufficiently impudent thing but it wasn't
q touch to the eiirontery Of Senator CT or
some other man who being picked out Of n
street ditch by watch man. and asked his
name, replied in a dry. guttcral voice, Don't
YOU sec | am Sewer'd y