The mountain Democrat., 1863-11-21
ga Keerful Shepherd"

On Friday, says Cincinnati paper, a
tall, raw.boned Saint, with complexion
resembling that of boiled tripe, arrived
in Cincinnati from Pittsburgh with a
couple Of wives, but deeming his flock too
small to start Salt Lakeward with, held
forth as follows, to an admiring audience,
at house over the canal, with view to
the perfection of the material necessary
to the completeness of his domestic felici-
ty. His text was" Men is skeerce and
weemen is plenty"
Brothern and Sstern-partickler the
Sistern-I want to say few words to
you about Mormonism-not for my own
sake but for yourn, for men is skcercc
and women is plenty.
Mormonsm is built on that high old
principle which sez that it amt good for
man to be alone, and a mighty sight
worse for woman. Therefore, if man
feels good with little company, a good
deal of it ought to make him feel an aw-
full sight better.
The first principle Of Mormonism is,
that women air good thing and the Sc
cOnd principle is, that you can't hass 30
much Of a good thing. Woman is ten
derer than man, and is necessary to
smooth down the roughness of his char
acter, and as a man has a good many
rough pints in his natur, he oughtn't to
give one woman too much to do, but set
each woman to work smoothing some
pertickler pint.
Don't think that am over anxious for
you to jine US, for amt. I'm not
speakin' for my good. but for yourn, for
men is skeerce and weemcn is plenty.
said woman was tenderer than man,
but you needn't feel stuck up about it,
for so she ought to be; she was made so
purpose. But how was she made so?
Why she was created out of the side bone
of q man, and the side bone Of a man is
like the side bone of turkey-the ten
derest part Of him. Therefore q woman
has three side bones and a man one; of
course she 10 three times as tender as
man is, and is in duty bound to repay
the tenderness of which she robbed him.
And how did she rob him of this side
bone? Why, egsactly as she robs his
pockets ow-a-days of his loose change
she took advantage of him when he was
asleep.
But as woman is more tenderer than
man, so is man more forgivener than wo.
man; therefore l won't say anything
more about the side bone, or the small
change, but invite you all to jine my
train, for I'm big shepherd out cur way,
and fare sumtuously every day on purple
and fine linen.
When first landed on the shores Of
Great Salt Lake, 1 wasn't rich in weemen,
for l had but one poor old yoe, but men
is scarce and weemen is plenty, and like
keerful shepherd, l began to increase
my flock. Weemen heard of US and our
lovin' ways, and they kept comm in. -
They come from the north, and they come
from the south, they come from the east,
and they come from the west, they come
from Europe, they come from Ashley, and
. few on 'em come from AfIikey, and
from bein' the miserable owner of one old
yoe, become the joyful shepherd of
mighty flock, with right smart sprink-
lin of lambs, friskier and fatter than any
body else's, and I've still got room for a
few more. =
As said before ,-s1rm not talkiu' per-
tickler for my benefit, but for yourn--for
men is skeerce and weemen is plenty
Still, I'd leetle rather you'd 60 along
with me than not; pertickler you fat one
with the calliker sun-bonnet. Don't hes
itate, but take the chance while you can
get it, and I'll make you the "bell voc"
Of the flock. III lead you through the
green pasture and high grass, show you
where you may caper in the sunshine,
And lay down in pleasant places and, as
you are in pretty good condition already,
in course oftime you shall be the fattest
Of tie flock. Jinein, jine in, jine in, jine
my train; jine it now, for men is scarce
and women is plenty.
The appeal was irresistible. At last
accounts the fat woman with the CALI
ker sun.hOnnet" had "jined in," and two
or three others were on the fence with a
decided leaning towards the "Keerful
Shepherd"