Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1863-10-31
and my companion superintended the

and my companion superiutended the
tureen.
"Soup ?" said he.
nodded in the affirmative.
"Do you profess on,oogy or dentol
ogy?' said he, for as l took of my
boots just nov it seemed to me that you
were one Of these persons who would
smile at the bsseless dislectic Of Plato
aud deride the irrational logic of Hegel.
Waiter, you We forgotten the bread-s,ale
Pardon me. sir, but am an enthusiast,
as you have, perhaps, already guessed"
"A great humorist,' l said, laughing,
and man Of science, am sure"
You're right, sir, you're rght,' said
my friend, rather vociferionsly. "Cay.
enne pepper, waiter! have devoted
years in my professors rooms in St. Bees
to studying the solar spots and the caus'
es OF the suns heat. have only yester-
day discovered a clue--to what do you
think, sir? Tell the cook, waiter, there
is too much salt in this soup
IL really cannot guess. No. thank
you, no more soup
" Perpetual motion, that's all, said my
eccentric friend, coolly, as be removed the
cover of the fish. "lll explain it to you
in Il moment with pieces Of bread. This
crust is b, that is, "a ROD fixed by one end
to beam supporter. while these bits OF
crumbs, A, B, and c, tthis big ones c.
are three pair of levers, forming a paral-
le!oridou !; this spoon is d, the piston rod
attached to IL, the saltcel'ar; this knife,
K, is the hot water pcmp connected with
the parallel motion at +; this fork -
suppose looked rather wandering,
for my new friend took mercy on me.
see,' he said, "you don't follow my
definitions. will explain it better after
dinner, with French plums on clear
table leg or wing?'
My friend was a master mind that was
quite evident How could expect to fol.
low the flights of such a mind
"Potato?'
Thank YOU
at was H. he said, who invented
Papin's digester, Arnott's stove, and the
Argand lamp but they've robbed me of
them all. 1t was | who discovered the
plau of water tight bulkheads. the paddle
box, life boat, EIey's cartridges, and the
percussion cap; but they rob me, sir, Of
everything-gIory. Three per Gems, Real
del Monte, everything. They'd burn me
il they could, because ! anticipated them
with the sewing machine, the oysters
opener, the screw boot jack, and the apple
pie crusher.
you're not the FIRST inventor" | said,
laughing at the eccentric variety of my
friends studies, who has been robbed OF
bis due fame. Look at Gaileo.'
Il knew him. said Ttietlewood she
lived in St. Mary-axe, and sold stationery.
He was Of green omp!exion. Some
more fowl, sir?'
The naivete Of this remark made me
laugh III spite Of myself.
'lt you please; drumstick will do. |
presume, from that remark, you entertain
some eccentric notions about transmig ra
lioa 7?
"Of course I do. l call all men who
die, divers; they return, but know them
again different names and professions !;
but, Lord bless you! the same face and
manners. Oh, I've got my eye on the
divers! There's butcher lives opposite
me, fat, square face, little eyes, like a
prize pig, stands straddling at his door,
with bis ha.d OH his waist. People call
that man Jackson, of No 33 Whitechapel
road. Who do you think he really is p
Cant guess"
"Heury the Eighth; simply Henry the
Eighth. Nero is prixetis shter, Francis
the First Is On the Stock Exchange, So
crates keeps cheese shop on 1.udrate.
Hill, Tamerlane writes for Sunday paper,
Marlborough is now an omnibus conduc
tor. Oh, I've 90, my eye on them +
nearly fell off my chair laughing.
'Robes pierre cuts hair, Louis the Ele
venth il a dissenting minister, and Bos
suet edits Hoods works. Oh, | know
lhem-I know their taces-they cant de.
ceive me.
Here the conversation dropped, for the
waiter brought in some sherry we had
ordered; when we had helped ourselves
had Lodded and slipped our wine, this ex-
traordinary man asked, Were you ever
up in a balloon ?'
81 never had that pleasure
"A pleasure, indeed" said the enthu-
sias,; but once had most remarkable
escape. Some villain, jealous Of my fame,
substituted Illuminating mercury for the
sand usually used Tor ballast. Luckily,
was taken III the night before The man
who went up in my place (by special
Providence, when half mile high, just
over Lambeth, was blown to cinder his
watch fell in garden near Norwood, and
was given me AS keep. sake. Here i. is
You observe the dent on the right hand
side 3? That's where it struck milkmar,
who was walking up to the back door at
the time
II don't see the DENT said I, looking
closely, "but here is the name of the
maker; that's Dent"
Mr., Thistlewood ex ploded with laug Inter.
Oh, you sharp fellow" he said. you see
il moment when I'm drawing the long
bow. Pass the wine" -'-* '*0.>". II
That insatiahIe tongue began to tire. -
The days excitement and the fatigues Of
the journey began to tell. We both grew
silent and slipped contempIa.iyely !; first |
yawned, then my friend yawned aud looked
at the candles on the sideboard. Then we
hgh'ed up again about the American war,
about the cruel amusements now 10 vogue,
about sensational books, and other mat