Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1863-07-11
now ssn was APR1L POOLED,
T.4reyt I'll 41%f --ig@ia %uHr..t . ra =
""You can't do it again ]"
SSfy>~sA ~

Cant 1r ..1 -..s.. .....
."No, yos can not You've April fool
ed ne now regularly for Eve years-bas
yeu gan never do itsgainw rrT .iaE
| The above conversation WAS between .
worthy couple 1t the South End, on Tues.
day evening, March 3lst. The husband.
merry black eyed msn of some forty
years Of ege, had been in the hsbit Of
playing of some practical little joke on
his Lovely spouse, ori the frst of every
April and the good womsn had now re.
solved 70 gsssd herssif On the morrow,
and thereby turn the inks..r. ra>t sr<
The snow fell steadily and furiously ali
Tuesday afternoon and evening, but ia
sShs wee shdtt hsdrsI Of Wednesday NOR.
ning the storm ceased; the air moderated
and the snow began to melt. =, t,... =,
As the clock struck, Eve Wednesday
tAorning the snow began to slide from the
roofs IN the city, in large quantities; and
as an immense mass struck tho shed Of
our South End joker, Il made SO much
noise thst'it awakened every ypersonin the
"Whas's that T., sssssmsd Mrs M.,1r.,
"Good Heavens, J" calculated NJ looking
! % frightened a. . red headed Irishman at
q prayer meeting. "I-I-I forgot to
belc ,hs ,kitehes, wisdows sst.night; 90
COED b. % thai turkey and oil those nice
'"Do you think i.'s . burglar r .g..ped
Mrs. N, looking % white a. Che frill on
her night cap. .e-7n1 - 81:
mo doubt Of it!' said NJ, ''but which
shalt l do lie still and loose tho turkey
and apples, or 60 down ana run the risk
Of being shot r. 4.@n a. - -s. 49, .
20, | do9't caro- anything about the
turkey or the apples,' replied Mrs. N.
"but l last night e.relessly left the spoons
on the kitchen table. .',
mot the silver spoons o. said NJ, try
ing to look Indignantly courageous
20 forgive me, husband but did"
"Then I'll have them or perish in the
attempt and with . boaLd that would
have been crsditabls 70 . frighsen ned
Camsnehe Indian. he lsaped from the bed
-gfasped tho iron poker and bedwrsnch,
and dew down stairs 40 If for life.
Throwing open the kitchen door and
exclaiming-''Out of this, you villain =
he commenced spsetting the chairs and
slashing away on the wood pile a. If en-.
gagged in regular pitched bat,lel
Almost frightened to death fos fsar that
her husband would lose bis life in tho
encounter, the good woman threw up her
window and screamed ct the top Of her
voice 49,. e.. I'D. :" -
!! "Polics ! Police for heavens sake-
Polices Morder! Robbery! FIRE.
| P-o-l-i-c-ei'
Her strength failing her, sho here sank
| on the floor, upset a pail Of water, and so
frightened the baby, that it cot up q
scream ION its own hook which drown
ed all opposition.
Small lad in the house-who was OF
good stock, and oil grit-ran down stairs
screaming. :.
"S,ick to him unclsi Here's . pistol /
Give him goudy, while I give him broad
side.' =. =,
"Go back to your bed, my good boy"
said NJ, gathering around bis stately
limbs his primitive white garment. "Go
back to your bed, and say to your aunt,
~ you pass her door that il 10 the Let Of
April, and I Am making the Gro for IN
early breakfast. ..
The good lady takes the joke kindly,
and with . sly twinkle in her sye, she
ssy.:-- . .-.,..
"Its long lane that has no end and
the lst Of nett April" ~t'
GONG IT BLrND.-An "old SALT" who
had been on . bender, had got what might
be termed sablimely mystified oy his fre-
>ro.H :.~h;h:rr oc ssHh~ n.:t.o.p Ss:.~.:~~
along the streets, he thought he would 20
to the theatre and pass the remainder Of
the evening. Following some men be
thought bound on the same voyage, be
| found himself in what he thought the pit,
but il happened to be : meeting house,
and the minister was preaching upon that
text wherein ID mentioned the sheep and
! the goats, and 10 order 70 make On i'm.
preston upon his congregation he put the
! significant question who would wish to
be goat I" and. pansed, and then with
still greater emphasis said !: "Who vii. be
: goat?' Our tipsy, ,ssilor could not
| brook the delay, and he: az once respond.
ed-''As nobody else lhic) will Be- i, I'll
be she (hic) goa. rather than the play
(hic) should stop" - .~..''-.
I As 10 widows, soue one ssys there il
nothing like them. II they make up their
mind itis done. knew one who vas TOR.
ribly afraid OF thunder and lightning, and
every storm came On, she would run into
M. Smiths house, (hs was = widower, J
aSd olssp her little hands, snd A. around,
VII the msn wss half distracted, for fear
shs would b killed., and the consequencs
lawss she wAa Mrs. John Smith before three
| thunder stormsrsttlsd over head. l Wasn't
that dtpa1mssics .ason i'lts bot ha /
sa MAkSo Ogr \ SURrsk-Brova called
in at ) nsighbor's and was urged 70 take
supper, which he did tho old lady all the
lsSGls ssytng-.l'n sfrsid, Mr. Bsown,
"a. viii not psts sspPergos have eaten
no.hing- DO eat something more,n ,,AE
ter ,he had ssepped out, he heard The o!d
lady .Vaf % hsf husbAnd,," w, I do do.
0tSs; r11odkf INN NJ. Ds6wn 'had moi
ao6An0lAieg fss snoaik,t 1, ~