Weekly standard. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1858-1865, 1863-05-20

pOuucIlty VII Tue CueCh II Sn6TlebtON, anu tno
invunerabilty Of the Monitors, to the attention of
all who "halt between two opinions" on these
two mooted questions. The Disbsnded is as true
steel to the Union cause but his organ Of rever.
ence being mperfectly developed he does not speak
IS deferentialiy could wish of persons IN au-
thority. As he is not accountable for the Shape of
his head, VIC excuse him:
NArsHSAL HorrL,
Washington April 10, 1868.
Edayturs of the " Y Sunday Nerkury:
NJ, predickshun that We would not reduce Charles.
tun to ashes 50 all thunderin easy IS sum Of our
otsi,a! foofoos spcsed has been moanfuliy fooled,
and our false profits are considabully taken down
by the accounts from that kwsrter. Seckatry
Wells looks hew;icred like man SUDDENLY awoke
from l.e>enl visn:by cry of fire. 1t is roomered
that his ntelieck is given way, but don't think
th.rs any sold foundation for the report
q reply to those who condole with him on the
misfortn, he merely ses he "eggspected the re-
verse"-witch is fact or a hckshin according to
is that the Illustrus Minister and Mariner had an
idee that the Charleston forts would cave in arter
hafe duzzen rounds or so, and it was only when
he heard of the silkin of the Keokuk that he reel
lied the Rebels was reddy for the Tug Of War.
Gin,,sl Hslleck, whenever the subjeck is menshint
in his hesrn, assooms the attitood OF AJeck deyin
the lightning and eff tall torkin could conker the Sc
cesh stronghold nothing more would be reckwslt
than to send the distinguish speshi pleeder to the
Charleston Bar. 1t is said that sumboddy axed
him luther day why them sewn rhusand men was
hurrid of on fools Grant to Folly Island, and
wot they eggSpected to do agn the five mile Of
forts mounted with thousand cannon and hlty five
thousand rebel bagnets reddy to give it to en hot
and heavy at the other eend Of the cool de sash.
don't no wot reply the gallant Attorney dtnral-
I call him so becase he was an Atturuey prevus to
hain do IN OWcStlOn
but understand the troope was sent on to see how
almity quick thirty two guns could smash line OF
wurks stronger'n Sebastupull, 0nder concentrckle
fire from three Hundred rife peaces at dissans OF
seven hundred yards. 1t was that the specktcle
would be encurrdging to the land forces, and in
spire EN- with no eend of arder and devoshun, but
as it turnt out they went back rehectn seriously
on the onsartinty Of accomplishin onpossioiiltles
The modern Father of his Kintry is cam and COM
posed onder the late dispenshun. He says 1t was
"not repulse-oney check" Perhaps he means
q check mate for my noble friend often conceais
sumthin ridiculous onder his gravest remarks
Happenin to ketch his egul eye as he stood on the
stare way Of the War Department today, be oeck'
ont me too him, when the follorin dialog ensood:
"Honabul Abe" ses "wot you think of the
problem Of iron-clsd involnerabilityl"
"Disbanded" he replied, "t is problem no
longer-the rebels have ridded it."
''But according to Ericsson" I remarked, the
new fighting masheens wurkt precisely as intended
He considers them successful eggsperiment"
"That's natral," refined the President, II dessay
the three navis gators of Gotham as went on q crews
in bowl cracks up their craft as ast rate speci-
men of naval holler ware"
"He ses," continued, "that our attact ON Sum-
! ter was fraught with incalkable benefit"
Assisting to no purpose and getting an orfu
peppern in return, doosent seem to me like getting
the best Of the brile," he answered.
That's troo," ses ], land think you mad bet
ter rite to the Gentleman from Denmark an AZ hin
Ell he won't dane to eggsplane bis meann. He's 9
skyentific fellow" added mo gwestin about that
but he was ekully confident about his atmusferit
ship. WITCH however, proved q thing of air, ant
arter few pufs from the press subsidized with al
asmatic wheezc inter oblivyun."
II remember 4, D ", remember it." remarked
the President, thortfully, land that affair oughte
have been a monitor to the nashin, caushining
not to put too much faith in new proiecks from tn
same kwarter"
"Now you go too far" subjested: "the ne,
style Of iron-clads is undoubtedly good things il
thar way, and eff thar imperfecshins ken be re
mooved they will do good service under sartin con
tingenseas. Wot object to is the ascershin of tn
inventor that mot single change of plan
called for"
J. Our sagashus Chief Magstrit agreed with me- q
ush'l and the upshot of the matter is that the a,
NOR OF the new Monitors is to be made thick emu
to stand any kwantity of hits from the biggest kin
/ OF missiles aud Of the af1ishnn,l tw:i.6$ r.,.;~