Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-11-10


epilepsy p says be.
Dolly the two boys says /; and when
they catch them, my wife always goes at
them with a fine tooth comb, the first
thing
Jumping off the chair he hit me lick in
the ribs that nearly knocked me over, and
before had time to demonstrate, his
arms were round my neck and his head
pressed against my bosom the same way
that Sophia Ann does, when she wants
me to buy her some new bonnets and
thing.
Just what thought says he. 'Tuber>
culOsis and HemOptysis, combined with a
defect in the scapular membrane and in
cipient phthysis!
Heavens! says ], what's tbat?'
And Cardiac disease
Nor said l.
And Pendardites
'Thupderv said / =
Stop talking! Now count after me
offe p
One! said ]. half dead with fright.
Asthma Two.'
Two yelled.
'Exostis of the right fabuluI Thrse.'
Three ! | gasped
'Coxalgia! Four
Confirmed Duodenum Of the rigt ventri
Gle Five
Oh doctor dear duc.or, amt you most
through? feel faiutr
Through No! Not balfthrough. Why
my friend, Pandora's box was nothing 10
your chest You have SpbynixiaDs. and
glorious, and concgnilogis, aud persflage,
and
Here my knees trembied SO 1 leaned
against the table for support.
And permanent luxation Of the anterior
lobe of the right phalanx'
MY only answer was a deprecatory ees-
ture.
And ScrOfulous diathesis and Omniopo-
dites
! then sank to the floor in utter des>
pair.
'Elutriaticn! be yelled, for he saw
was going fast, and Maxiiiarium, and
When woke to consciousness again. /
found myself in puddle of water an emp
ty bucket near by. and the surgeon astride
OF my chest shouting something into nv
ear, OF which however l could hear moth
ing.
L smiled feebly in Acknowledgement of
bis attentions. At sign from him, two
attendants drew near, aud having lifted
him intO chair, for ne was absolutely
o'ack IN the face with the violence Of his
exerlons, they hoisted me to a perpeniicus
lar and the examination proceeded. =
But will not harrow your feelings by
repeating the heart rendipg details, Suf-
nee y to say, that | was afflicted with
Gastr!t's, Emphysematioh, Marcidity, EN-
nVcmH, Obesity. Condyle of the humerus,
Bilicose veins, Hernia in both great toes.
ana IlermorthOIds in the left heel, besides
lois OF other diseases whose names I cannot
remember Finally after arigid examira
unn ct my toe nails in search of eruptive
I'IslonS, he arose to his feet, drew long
breath, wiped the perspiratiOn from his
race with stray newspaper aud recon-
IN, ed.
Young man. said he. and his eyes glis>
tened with delight as he spoke. ven are
rsaIiy the most interesting suhiact l have
met with. Really a most wonderful causel
Con know when have enjoyed half
hour SO thoroughly. Why, sir, with the
exception ct two, or at most three YOU have
symptoms Of every disease in the medical
dictionary. Please let me embrace you
again. just to see if / can detect ezncosis Of
the viscous membrane. Wei, NO. be con-
tlnned, with slightly disappointed air, as
he released me. i don't seem To find II
exactly but would you mind coming round
10 my a'd'ng house. after tea, so that |
it?' '
lie wns so anxious 10 find that psrticu-
lar symptom, that | was very sorry to re-
fuse him, but had promised SOPHIA Ann
that would be home to tea, and | knew
she would worry ifI stayed, so | was
OBLIGED tn decline. Seeing there was n
i7dy IN the case, he very politely excused
me. very much tn my relief. Well, good
bye, my friend said be. as took nv hat
to go. wished it was SO you could 90 tn
the war } would have you in my hospital
IN Less than month. and then could ex-
anime you at my leasure. | am positive a
little exposure wonId bring on those two
symptoms | spoke of and then what mag
ulhcent subject ycu would be? How |
should like tn dissect you But,then, per
hap1 you don't feel like it,and if YOU don't
don't know as can blame ypu much for
preserving your wonderful organization as
long as you can, so you just 20 into the
next room and Captain Herrick will give
you furlough to go home and provide a
substitute or pay your communication Bow.
call the next on the listp
But, sir said |. sghast at his conclud
ing remarks, you don't pretend to accent
me as ablebodied?'
Really. my FRIEND said he, the fact il.
you have so many diseases. that | actually
Know which to specify. 1t WON'T do to say
cran'al disease, when it's your heart that is
affected, and if l mention your heart.
what's the use of your having copsump-
tlon. Bot / know Dr.. Cogswell will be
pleased to receive Your communication fee,
or 1t you will bring up likely substitute
shall be delighted to examine him, and
some day when we are both at liberty,
shall be most happy to have you call upon
me Hold just unhutton your coat for
moment. / must find tt at exec"
But here | broke from his grasp. and
stopping IN the next room only long enough
to procure my furlougb, l started for the
railway station, and never looked behind
until was safe in the arms of Sophia Ann
and the children.
And now can anybody inform me where
l can find q good. able-bodied substitute
warranted diseased in the head, heart.
lungs. Ur legs, or all of them? To such a
man will give $500 cash down, or if pre-.
Tered, at the rate Of five dollars ariece for
each symptom. and promise him in behalf
OF our Uncle Samuel, food and clothing for
three years, together with medical attend
ance IN proportion to the number and
malignity Of his disease HauerlsiH Gazette.