The Union. [volume] (Georgetown, Del.) 1863-1866, 1863-11-06
aSit, aTisdnm, and Bumor.
Satan,s Roast.

I 1ucy fo hhu nlBn tlmeb IN Hi
| If can trust what late dispatches tell
For jeff, and Floyd, and Yancey,
Had just arrived, which tickled Satan's fancy.
| He gave his mps a regular blowout;
| Then order'd them extra Goals to throw out,
That they might better heat the fires
To roast these rival traitors, thieves and liars
One night of rest, and ON the morrow
They'd find whom they had rival'd to their sorrow.
And thereupon old Satan oekd them in
And went his way to SOW moro death and sin;
But what dismay in Hill when morning broke,
And Satan found his roast would end in smoksi
For Floyd had pick'd the lock-had stolen all the
| Goals,
The CRATE, bars matches, and some twenty thousand
soulsl
Hoo IN-Hoe Our PA certain deacon
"a resident of Ballston Spa, of course-when
"killing time" came around at his distillery,
deacon Giles distillery y made it his duty to
stand at the scalding trough, watch in hand.
to time the length of the scald-crying "Hog
in," when the just slaughtered hog was to be
thrown into the trough, and Hog out" when
the watch told three minutes.
One week, the press of business compelled
the packers to unusual severe labor, and
Saturday night found the deacon wholly ex-
hausted. Indeed he was almost, if not quite
sick, next morning when church time came
but he was leading member, and it was his
duty to attend the usual Sabbath service if he
could. He went. The occasion was one of
unusual solemnity as revival was in pro-
gress. The minister preached o sermon well
calculated for effect. His peroration was a
climax of great beauty. Assuming the atti-
tude of one intensely listening, he recited to
the breathless auditory
"Hark-they whisper; angels Fay"-
Hog in !" came from the deacon's pew in
stentorian voice. The astonished audience
Immediately turned their attention from the
preacher, but he went on, however, apparent
ly unmoved:
"sister spirit, come awayl"
Hog outl" loudly shouted the deacon,
tally .fourP
This was too much for the preacher and the
audience. The latter smiled, some snickered
audibly, while number of boys broke for
the door to split their sides laughing outside
within full hearing The preacher was dis
concerted entirely--sat down-rose AGAIN
pronounced e brief benediction, and then dis
missed the anything else but solemn-minded
hearers.
SCENE AT A RECRUITING 0PFIcE.-Lddy--
Has Charles Augustus Spooney enlisted here 7
OHcer-Yes, Ma'am.
Lady-Well, wish to have him disehsrgeo
because he is under age.
OHcer-Is he your SOM
Lddy-No he is my husband.
Odfcer-In that case he will have to stop
where he is. If he is old enough to get mar
ried he is old enough to fight. Good MORN
ing, Ma'am.
No.. "A "person" says the Paris Sport,
Z" who locks at the world in somewhat gloomy
colors, recently complained, in NJ. Auber's
presence, how hard it was that people must
grow Older
Hard as it is" replied the veteran compo-
ser, "it seems to be the only means yet dis
covered of enjoying long life"
nG." "John," said stingy old hunk to his
hired man, as he was taking dinner, "do you
know how many pancakes you've eaten ?"
"No."
"Well you've eaten fourteen"
"Well," said John, ''you count and I'll
eat"
B6TIn an old paper printed in New Lon
don nearly half a century ago, we find the
following large thing" on matrimony;
Oh matrimony thou art like
To Jeremiah's figs,
The good were very good; the bad
Too sour to give to pigs.
Ba~A number of bachelors, over thirty
five, were drafted in Providence. On being
laughed at for not being married, and there
by escaping the draft, they maliciously re-
piled: -.,
1t is better to serve three years than for
Ife."
neA-A certain preacher at Appleton, Wis
consin, in a sermon, made the following COM
parison in dissecting the miser--"The soul of
a miser is SO shriveled that it would have more
room to play in grain of mustard seed tnan
a bullfrog would in Lake Michigan"
p6s-" Sam, why don't you talk to massa,
and tell him to lay up treasures in heaven ?"
What forH What be use of laying up trea-
sure dere, where he never see 'em again 2"
B4-A promise is a just debt which should
always be paid, for honor and honesty its
security. ss
s6s- Songs without words-Those Of that
blessed baby. il .or asr faa
THE Mosr cuRIoUs THISo.- A woman not
curious. '.N osaftst}