Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-04-21
Funnel Cleaning.
BY FRED SoMERYILLE.

ing machinery is now doing the work Of
meas muscles, and if the raee in improve
meut continues at this rate much longer.
people VIII BE coJuring up some exped
ent by which they can get out OF their
bodies as the butterfly sheds his worm, as
they will be 50 much weight, no more
Every new invention as soon as it is
made, is heralded to the world through the
! press, and, "in accordance with estatlish>
ed usage" we feel bound to give the pub
/ Tic the results of a new experiment in
"Funnel" which actually happened some
time ago, leaving it to their good iudg-
menl whether to follow the prescription or
( not, as they may deem it advisable.
ln ore of the quiet vallager of Vermont,
/ bordering on the Connecticut river, lived. a
| few years ago, two very worthy men, and =,
what is better, they are living now. The
eldest was knight of the quill, Justice of
/ the peace, and always went by the name Of
| Squire.
The other. great lover of fun, was Ia
bic maker, we should have said, promiser (:
| but mind, let it go. lie acted up to that
/ good cid adago, that ga bad promise is bet
! ter broken than kept" and probably con
! sfdered most of his promises for work bad
/ as indeed they were. For the sake of tell
ing the story we viii call by the name of
! PEEK. ~ s-a-'e ... - =. =
We have said that Pek was great LIVER
| OF fun. The squire was equally fond Of a
| joke, and in their various soo-ties upon
! each other it was hard telling who came
! out second best. We have said this much
| by way of preface, IL order to Introduce
the gentlemen. knowing full well that any
! prescription or recipe has weight in the
community jast in proportion us the author
| Is known; and now we will pressed direct
ly to the subject.
| One morning in November, PEEK came
! running into the pOst-office, over which the
! squire was the presiding geDius-we say
running because Pek's business was al
I ways 30 very urgent that be never was
I Known to walk = ard inquired for the
/ squire.
! The Squire was in, Of course, and PEEK
with face long as defeated candidate,
/ approached him. --eassa
/ 'GtOd morning, squire
/ Yes, sir .sE owe. -F-
! i heard you speaking the other day a.
bout your having to take down. your stove
! funnel in order to clean it cut
Perhaps So. What of it,?
/ Why, | can save YOU the trouble hut
as You are little frosty this morning,
guess won't
! Hold on here-what is it?s these 2eskv
accounts bother mo so.',
The squire was q little given to the
/ grave. but the dread of cleaning funnel,
and the hopes of getting rid of the dirty
job made his face radiant with smileq.
Il have found out how to clean stove fun.
/ vi
/ Cutest way
Well, what is it? said the SQUIRE,
throwing down his pen and giving his ear
nest attention, while PEEK in low whisper
that none others might learn the secret, IN
formed his particular friend of his recent
discovery.
Two hours after. the squire was seen to
( purchase canister Of powder, and with a
! quick step and light heart proceeded home
ward. As he entered his domicil he was
! greeted by the old house-dog, who seemed
! to rejoice as much as bis master at the nros
! pect of Introducing the grand labor saving
recipe. ...asr ~
Everything was soon arranged, some six
ounces OF 'Dupont's best was emptied on to
| the stove, the funnel was lifted from its
place and carefully put over it. Then lav-
! ing trail from the funnel. he procured a
live coal from the kitchen and applied it to
| the trail. .a.. = r
! Piz- mhiz-i'hiz, Miz, rhiz rhiz, di.G
! ding, siam, bang! .i'
: A iUud explosion was heard a moment,
and the rafting of window glass told that
some catastrophe bad happened. A maid
en- sister in another part of tbs house hear
ing the report, rushed to the scene Of ac-
ton. The room was full of smoke. the
stove funnel lay scattered around the room
IN the most admirable disorder but where
was the squire
} There he stood in one corner Of the room
with eyes skewed upward and finger poin
ting to the window.
The sister approached the window that
once was. but the lower half was entirely
demolished, and twenty rods from the house
might be seen the faithful house.dog
scratching up the hill, yelping at every
bound. 81
Curse the felliwp was the only words
the squire was heard to utter. ss
The damage was soon repaired Int II
was long time before the dog could be
I coaxed tc return. He did not Ike this
kind of labor saving machinery, and more
especially was the smOli OF gunpowder Of,
sensive to him,
The two friends met the next day, but il
was observed that the squire passed over
On the other side.'
'Haw, hswH roared Pek. How is the
stove pipe, 'squirep
The squire looked, aud as a faint recol
lection of the event occurred to him oh.
I served: a''-
you feel mighty cute, don't YEP
10 any joking scene that occurred after.
wards, all that was necessary was to in.
quire about the stove pipe, and the Squire
was silent. '#'.