, 1863-06-04
MRS. SMITH on THE FASHIONS.
BY Aunt Mary.

Dear me these fashions will be the death Of
me yet. It's jest worry, WORRY, all the time, to
keep up with 'em. wish, sometimes, that
knowed the man or woman that studies 'em up,
and IL they didn't git . piece Of my mind, then
my names not Jerusha Smith.
Now thar's my darter, July Ann, wouldn't
give me moments peace ill she got hoop onto
me. It took me q monstrOus while to come to
it, but at last bought skiliton, and now 60
sailin' round, lookin' about five times bigger'n
ever did in my life aSore. I'm bligcd to 60 round
narrer places, whar used to 60 through; burn
my dress; or tear it, every time come nigh the
stove. in The kitchen; but then I'm fashionable,
and what's the difErrenees I'm expectin' every
day, though, to see hoops 60 out Of fashion, and
then away goes my twO-and.a.hal[ that paid
for hat skiliton. It's alters the way jest when
q body is thinbin' that they're gttin' to the
top notch of fashion, It changes, aid they find
iheirselves clare behind the times. But thar's
one thing consolin' about hoops; the lIdies hang
to 'em powerfully. The men Try to raise breeze
about them goin out Of fashion, but Il don't effect
nOthin', and they drop It. Ny datter, duly ANN
accordn to my notions, Is leetlc too bad 10 Sich
matters. That gal, do believe, keeps Josiah
Chats her par) poor man, jist buyin' Of her
line things. Now, when was Z. gal; and after
Josiah and me was married, II could jist tit
caliker truck enough for one Sunday dress, and
linsey for an every day one, felt d II was Is
well fixed as queen, for year, at least But
now, la sakesi gals turn up their noses at calker
and linsey, and my July Ann wouldn't be ketched
with sich dress on as her mother wore on her
weddin' day, no nore'n nothin'.
IN tell you what that gal done not long ago
You see, she'd bin wantin' what she called Q
Z0WaVe jacket, Il axed her how to spell the name)
and heerd her NJ her par to buy the cloth fof
her, but Josiah jest spunked up and told her be
wouldn't do it. Sea be- "lts jest buy, buy, till
kin tell you there's precious little to buy with,
and I'm agoin' 70 put stop to Il" july. Ann
looked leetle sulky, and felt kinder red my.
SELF for knowed the gal had sot her heart on
havin' il. But seed she Frightened up Directly,
and purity soon went and shet herself up in her
bedroom. didn't find out what she was at till
the next day; went into her room for sumthin'
and what do you think she'd donef Wal, f
that gal hadn't gone and materially Piddled 6~e
cloak had bought for her, not six months ago,
and out Of the hull piece she'd contrived to git
leetle dIminetive pnckered up concern, that she
said was . ZoUaue jacket was 80 mad couldn't
say word for mint, but concluded twant no
use cryin' for split milk, 90 all ] said was that
thought she'd better give the thing to her brother
Bill for roundabout, and tux myself out Of the
room. But pears to me that nothin' can put .
dampeF on that gal, for next day down she cum
with that bominable monkey jacket Chat she'd
ruined her ine cloak TO maks) on, over sumthin'
white, that looked to me jest Ike one Of Jtslahs
Sunday shirts. You see, the thing wasn't ias'
tened in front, and I jest got q glimpse Of
starched buzum, and without waitin' 10 see what
twas, | Civ screech, and catchin' hold Of Il,
nigh about pulled Il Of Of her; and seq !, "July
Ann Smith Is Il possible that you have gone
and got on one Of your paF's best shiFtsi de-
clare tew goodnessl u you hadn't crter Be
ashamed Of yoursolG She stoppcd ne short,
and see she, es cool e : cucumber : Why. b
mel mar. Il amt par's shirt at Ill; its the kind
q buzums that al The ladies' wear with their
ZouaUe jackets; and wish you'd be leetle
keerful about tsarln' L of of me next time you
want 10 inspect Il.
And Of sbe walked, leavin' me completely
nomplust, as our schoolmaFm says. Bot, thinks
I 10 myself mobbe she'll take rest ont now,
seein' she's ruinated her cloak; but, ef you'll
blieve me, twanl week Ill she was teaSn'
me for one Of them harrIhle ugly top-knot bon
nets, that everybody Is : gitsin' % wear, nova.
days; but that raised my spunk right away, and
seq 10 her, seq I /: You JET bring one Of them
things into The house, and III burn ~ nov you
mind that. PdTuther sec you Wearin' caliker
slandin' up about . loot above the top Of your
July Ann kinder turned ap bsr noas ct that; /;
and I'm Jest spectin' every day 10 fnd hera tFyin'
10 stretch her last winters bonnet out soss it1l
stand up nice and skeery lookins on top. This
maxim over is about as bad % buyins new for
her u The long run, and Jest look for Josiah 10
have 70 sit Der hswb bohnit, iOr all The hard
Nov Ju,y Ann coaxed me into gi.iIR' one Of
their fashionable bonnils when The Wimmen was
Ell aweafin' lessle skimpY ones on the back sides
Of their heads, and 90 hev 70 put up with the
amt anything 70 Be hfied Il, either. allers
think, when i hev L On. Of Whit old Deacon Per-
kina used 70 say Of bis wife. be used 70 say that
Priscilla was alters Z pullin' The wrong way"
and that's Jest the way with my bOnnlL When
I'm goin' lords church, its alters ugoin' to'rds
home; and when ] eIt turned 70 cum homo, is
alleTA hahgin' back t6'rds The meetin' house.
duly Ann undertook once 70 show heF inginuity,
and pinned Il fast 70 my hair, but kin teli you
she didn't git % try e agih loF i nigh about tux
~ the hair oR my head. u ~ les'sA,ss ~
troubles nint Of no account, but wish they could
Be In my shoes ior awhile, and zee u they didn't
change their minda Even Josiah ssz ] look llke
. beanpOle without hoops, and whenever under
take 70 stand up lbf ny rights aud wear what
suits me, July Ann sez thai if = mothers dsinF-
mined 70 make herself ridiculous, par may Dc
well move into the country, whaFe folks don't
try 10 dress with tnsts; COZ ns long a. she lives
ID OlyHpy, she's bound 70 dress Is Iine as the
best Of ems" and tween me and you that's
sayin' good deal, for Il does pear 70 me that
sum of the 0ympy Wimnren DO dress powerful
fine; but IL they lll have sich time geltin'
their dry goods as my daFteF July Ann, does,
don't envy 'em, that's an Dear mel how I do
hate these lashicnsi q SD before, they're