Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1863-02-26
WI dom and Pteasautrics.

AN officer Of the Maine 25th, observing
soldier belonging to a regiment encamp.
ed near by, iudustriou,ly scratching him
self, interrogated thus: "What's the
matter. my man heas?" "Fle0s!" said
he, in tone of uuuttcrabe scorn, "do
you think | am a dog--no, air, them is
lise.
WE once heard Vermoncr express his
opinion OF person in the following style
of classics; II could rnkc." said he "tho
little end Of nothing whittle it down to
apoint, punch out the pith OF horse hair,
and put III it forty thou,and such souls
as his, shake them up, and MeyH roHlei
A New YoHK lawyer thus define, trans
cendentalism:-"lt is two holes in n sand
bank-a storm washes away the sand bank
without disturbing the holes"
The past is Gods, the future is thine
improve it well by repentance.
"My deceased uncle, says humorous
writer. was the most po itc gentleman in
the world. He was making VOYAGE on
the Danube. aud the b at sunk My un.
Gle was iust on the point drowning. lie
got his bead above the water for once,
took off his hat, and said. Ladies' and
gentlemen, will you please excuse me .
and down he went"
MASY philosopher who thought he
had an exact knowledge Gf the whole hu.
man race has been mi,erably cheated in
the choice of wife.
A cnusTY old bachelor says that Ad-
ans wife was called Eve because, when
she appeared, mans day of happincs.was
drawing to close,
LITTLE girls believe in man in the
moon; young ladys believe in man in
the honeymoon.
PEOPLE always express great deal OF
sympathy Tor women WHO are unhappily
married; but how about those who are
unhappIy single?
IT is proposed to pass in Massachusetts,
ssIatute OF Limitation against the early
marriage of army widows. Several who
have gone of in new bonds of wedlock,
are pcrplexed by hearing that their pat
not huabants "htill live"
Why is an owl in the day time like the
PresihenV Because he is always a Jlinkm.
InE Petersburg Express boasts that a
rebel sharp shooter named Jay sEot four
Yankees in one bkirmish. Io must bo a
poppin Jay.
DURIYd the past lhrea years there was
received at san FRANCHISE forty. three mil
lions Of dollars in gold, This amount
OF the precious metal would weigh hun.
dred tons, and would make the freight of
train OF fourteen ears on railroad.
TUE editor OF tho Woons ocket Patriot
makes merry over the mistakes OF Shang-
hal hen OF his. that had been sitting for
five weeks upon--two round stones and
piece Of brick "Ner anxiety" quoth
be. "is no greater than ours to knw what
she will hatch, II it proves brick yard
--that hen is not for sale"
WAGGs went to the station of one OF
our railroads the other evening, and find
Ing the best car full. said in loud tone,
"wy this carriage isn't going p' OF
course This caused general stampede,
snu w agys took the best seat. The train
soon moved OF. and in the midst of the
excitement Wages was questioned: "You
taid this carriage wasn't going?" "Well
II wasn't then." replied Wages. "hut III,
now" The "sold" laughed. but w Wagg,
came rather near a good thrsshing.
A Dutchman was summoned in cour
to identify stolen hog. On being ask
cd ii the hog had any ear-marks, he re
piled:
ssIa onlv aar.tuarL Jat I ..,,, go l. ;