The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1863-04-28
JOIN smith 10 Jessie B,nna

ou know that your
name isn't Jessie Bland any more than
mine Is John Smith; however, as YOU
have invented those appella,ives in order
70 make your public attack upon me. |
'reeiy consent 90 using them. III we
"'H@ have tilt through the columns of
the 'fate City. l, at least, shall prefer to
appear under pseudonym.
Undoubtedly, Jessie, your letter was
very witty and nice; undoubtedly the
best way to improve rather fast younp
gentleman OF your acquaintance Is, to tell
n'm that he Is drunken, rowdyish pick
pocket, not fit for decent people to wipe
their feet on; to do ,hi. through the col.
ums Of our daily press. / thank YOU
kindly; / will endeavor to bring forth
tfaiis meet for repentance, and see il you
can't be induced to change your mind.
and instead Of giving me particular fits.
to give me JEssrs in proper person.
Now as to the allegations YOU have
made, my fair alligator. You call me a
handsome, slim young fellow" No
harm in that, is thereY You surely don't
want me to become as ugly and rotund
as the Fat Woman. or an Indiana pork
packer fou say was coming down
the sidewalk in very crooked track -
Are you an artist, Jessie And don,
you know that the curve is the line Of
beauty They say there isn't straight
line In the Parthenon; and marching ON
The circumstance of a circle v.s the
h'ghest manifestation of Gen. Buelps
strategy
You seem indignant because offered
you compliment. l always supposed
That ladies liked the words Of honest ad-
mlration. You should have more resnect
for the heart that was trying. even under
the difficulties which embarrassad mo
- lay itself at your fest. And if the
slsAt OF slightly "overtaken" young
gentleman had such an effect upon you,
1t does seem to me that you went to the
wrong place TO "sooth your feelings" un-
less IL might upon the homeopathic prin.
ciple oil stn'lto Simaibus curantar. Do
you understand i44tia, Jessie ?
The main question now is, how shall |
regain the appreciation have forfeited /?
You proffer me your invaluable assistance
You want me to join the as. B's."-
Jessie, do you know what that phrase
msanse Judge Clagct. has found out,
but don't dare to write his internreta.
ton here, (lady dogs have such paupb.
ty namely lean only say that, ever since
reading your poem. have felt a. if | .3.a
belong TO the S. BIS.
II you insist upon IL. Jessie, viii
abandon my office, and, spade in hand,
take TO erecting ditchcs md cellars. on,
In the country, somewhere. However, /
think that rusticaiion without such hu-
initiation, will be sufficient. I will
withdraw from the temptations Of city
life, and associate only with innocent and
supplemented rustics, this summer. /
would 60 up to Charleston or Summit
vile, only the people Of those pllees i,av-
NJ the right sort of religious privileges.
Denmark might suit me, only there's
something rotlon' there, and besides,
all the perfumes Of Araby wouldn't take
the smell Of cheese out of my hair and
clothes for the next six months. So |
conclude that I must try Warsaw, the
nearest of the rural districts, and there,
among poor. but virtuous and unsophis-
ticsted population, endeavor to learn over
again the lessons of my youthful days,
when ! suffered the rod of maternal cor.
rection for telling lies and inhaling the
liquid contents Of perforated egg shslls.-
My mornings shall be spent in the hal.
lowed quiet Of Ochser's rural shades. NV
evenings in the intellectual enjoyment of
the literary depots for which that region
is SO famous; and if | don't return to
you ga decent man." it will not be the
fault of circumstances.
remain yours, over the sinister,