Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1863-12-04
JOB PoTsoN's EXPERIMENT..

% twas . disagreeablc stormy day out Of
doors, and in the village store were collected
dozen, or more, OF social spirits, engaged
in drinking cider and talking politics. BY
and by they had talked the political field dry.
and one Il their number--Sam Shute BY
name-a red,nosed, blear,eyed man, opened
upon the subject Of domestic government.
He ventilated himself upon household affairs
in general, and finally approached one Of his
hobbies as follows: h.. aaa #
II tell ye, boys, a mans got TO be master
in his own house il he ever expects 10 be
anybody. just let your wifs gain an inch
and she'll take an ell. Let her once take the
rsins, and she'll bc sure to keep 'cm. Lord |!
what thing man must DO to lot his wife
rule him."
Thereupon Mr.. Sam Shute finished his mug
Of cider and then filed his mouth with to.
bacco. .s SIS
+ "That's fact" cried Tom Burnham, in
thick, foggy voice. Egad, I'd like to see
woman rulin' me. | never had it in my fam
'ly. No, sirs, hold the reins myself. Ny
wife moves when l toll her to. She's got her
lesson, and she knows just what to depend
on" ........ .'.... a.t.&
d Tom Burnham finished his mug Of cider
and lighted his old black pipe.
"You're right" chimed Lot Quimby, lift
ing his great dirty boots on to the stove
hearth AZ he spoke. "If man provides
homo for his family, he's got . right to be
boss. Thunder! I'd like to sec woman
pullin' me around by the nosc' strs#
"The fact u.s." resumed Sam Shutc, empty.
ing his mouth upon the floor, 3" these ere wo-
men have got two leadin' strings, and when
they can't pull by one, they try the other.
In the 6rst place, they want to govern like
masters, that suits 'em best; but, if they
can't do that, then they try to fetch us round
by frettin' and coaxin'. But they don't come
none OF their nonsense over me. Lord I
When man once puts his foot down what
can woman do |"
That's So" pronounced Burnham, dig.
gng up the moist tobacco in his pipe with
the blade oe his jack knife, and then putting
away for dear life. That's so he repeated
after his pipe was once more in working or
der. "rve had experience in that. When
man once puts his foot down, woman
can't do nothln'. A woman'll pull an haul
Jest as long As there's a chance of havin' her
own way but when she finds that she's got
4 master, why, Lord bless yc, she'll come
round finally. Women have to be broken
jes' like colts"
Egg.zactly I" said Lot Quimby, lowering
his boots to the floor, but leaving part OF
the dirt upon the stovs. hearth. You've hit
the thing pre- eisely, Tom. Egad, there's some
comfort in mans feelin's that he's boss of
the establishment. II I've ever got to be a
slave, | hope shan't be slave to woman
that's all Eve got to say. As long as
rur hnnan r kan Hi N IN v,,ln ~; NVhnxS,
YOUR opinion, Job?"
This last remark was addressed to Job Pot
son, small sized, quiet-looking man, who
sat in the corner smoking new pipe.
guess" said Sam Shute, With laugh,
that job is lestle on the other track"
Shouldn't WONDER" added Tom Burnham
with wink. He ran broom straw through
the muddy stem Of his old pipe, and then
continued" His wife's got the upper hand
rather guess"
Not by a dcrncd sight," exclaimed Job in
high dudgcon. :" Sirs my wife don't rule
me. You're mighty mistaken if you think
I'm hcnpecked."
I" But Mrs. Potscn does Just about as she's
mind to, take il" suggested Shute.
And" added Burnhsm, who had got his
pipe going once more, "Irayther guess
Job does jest about as she tells him to
do" 4 e,.,.. ,....-s.,..r 8AsS..EA t#
That's 50, fast enough said Lot Quinn
BY.
But Job declared that it was not 10 and
he became very angry when his companions
laughed At him and expressed their pity for
him.
But when Job Poison went out from the
store and started for home, he began to won
der il they had not told the truth. job was
not large. minded man. He was an honest,
kind-heartsd man but he lacked energy and
decision. Still, he had some pride, as oil
small men are apt to have and the remarks
Of his companions had touched him in ten
der spot. Az no walked slowly horneward
he thought the matter over, and finally came
to tho conclusion that his wife did rule. He
called to mind all tbs domestic arrangements
and doings Of the past week, and he was
forced to admit that he was, in many respects,
tho governed. He stepped square In the road,
and put his foot down.
This won't do - he declared to himself.
must turn over new leaf. BY the great
Moses I'll be master in my own house We
will see who'll governi"
Sarah Poison sat in her kitchen, engaged
in msnding her husbands frock. She was {
medium sized, mild-faced woman, with clear
hazel eyes and dark brown hairs faithful
loving woman, frugal and industrious, snd
possessing good share Of firmnesS and de-
cision. The house was clean, and III order
the shed was . pattern of neatness; the
batn was we'll kept; the cows and pigs we're
1T and sleek; tie ofchard was trim and the
farm Was productive; and careful observer
who had watched. the doiDgs Of fifteen years
would have said that Sarah Poison was the
thrift.
1lJsb Potssn reached his home, and hung his
hat upon the back Of chair, and sat down
~ the stove.
job" said his wife without stopping her
needle, - soon ~ you get warm, guess
you'd better fx our front door step. The
plank on the lower step is loose. And after
dinner would BE- good time to secure the
beam over the tie-up. You had better do it
bsfore, the stsDchions get loose. The cattle
can work them . little now. A stitch in
time saves nine, you know"
"1'll look out for my barn." said Job,
placing rather an undue emphasis upon the
ny. 63s ae
His wifs,s needle fairly stopped, and . look
Of curious surprise crept over her face. What
did the man meant
But, Job," she suggested, kindly |" have
you noticed that the beam il loossi"
This fathss staggered Job Poison but he
quickly recovered himself, and placed his
right foot q little more firmly upon the floor.
Sarah," he said, will look out for my
own affairs. II - viii attend to your du.
ties here in the house you'H do ven enough. -
Job Poison, what do you msonf"
~ mean this" replied Job, speaking
quickly and snappishly. He hadn't the
strength to speak slowly and stefnly.
mean this, I'll b master Of my own affairs.
! don't need ruler and, whst's more,
'dcn'tintsnd y hsys epst |"