The Union and journal., 1863-10-30
VOLUME 10. NUMBER 4s.
Spare Lines.

Spare Lines.
A copperhcad sigh.-o Hcigh o!
Sleight Of hand-Rcfusing ah offer Of mar.
riage.
A hem often breaks tho thread Of o dis.
course.
What throat is the best for o singer to
reach high notes with?-A soar throat.
Why is conscience like an omnibus strap?
Because It Is an inside check on tho outer
man.
Everybody sits in Judgment on dirty sin;
but clean Il, dress II, polish II, and there aro
ten thousand people who think II not 50 sin.
full alter oil.
Those who have resources within them.
selves, and can dare to liyo alone. want
friends tho least, but know how to prize
them the most.
MY party, sir, will not lie in idcness,"
said a politician. "vsry true. sir" retort-
cd his opponent, "your party is never
chargcablo either with lying in idlencss or
with idlencss in lying"
Sister, aid ono Of the brethren, at n re-
cent iovc-feast, ,aro you happy?'
Yes, deacon, ] feel as though I was in Bo-
clzcbub's BOSOM
Not in Beolzcbub's, sister,
well, somo Of the patriarch Idon't caro-
which,
Sweet Is tho music Of the 1uto 10 him who
has mover heard tho prattlo Of his own chill.
drcn. Some that have heard tho prattlc,
at times have preferred the auto.
One ounce Of pulvorizcd borax, and half
an ounce Of camphor put into ono quart of
boiling water. and bottle for use. will bo
found invaluable for removing grease spots
from woolen goods.
A boy fllls his pipc and he secs only tho to-
bacco, but I SEQ going into that pipe. brains,
books, time, health, money, prospect, Tho
pipe Is filled ut last, and light Is struck,
things which arc priceless arc carelcSly puff.
cd away In smoke.
A young lady Of Abcrysiwith has been
blown over tho cliffs into the sca, and, thanks
to her crinoline, sho alighted safe on tho
sands, after her aerial voyage, more frighten-
cd than hurt. Tho effect Of the descent on
tho crinoline, Is described as tho spreading
Of tho "spanker boom sheet"
A man who forbade his servant girl(who
belonged to tho same church with himsclDgo-
ing In and out of tho front door OF tho house.
was quietly asked by the girl IL hc supposed
they would enter heaven by separate doors.
COleridsc, who in his feelings was thor.
ough John Bull, speaking Of tho French,
says: 'Frcnchmcn arc like gunpowder (; each
individual grain is smutty and contemptiblc,
but mass them together and they arc terrific.
"My Dear" said one of those mature
husbands to his young and lovely wife, "sup-
posing should be conscripted and could
not find substitute" 2" Never mind my love-
replied the angel, IL could find substitute,
II you couldn't"
An Ohio paper publishes the following
itcm-"A deaf man, named TaH, was run
down by passenger car and killed on
Wednesday morning, half milo north Of
Greenwich station, near Cleveland. He was
injured in similar way about u year ago."
A Dutchman was relating his marvellous
escape from drowning, when thirteen of his
companions wcrc lost by tho upsctting Of
boat, and ho alone was saved. And how
did you escape their fate? asked one Of his
hearers, Il It'd not co in to pote!' was tho
Dutchmans placid answer.
Though our private desires arc ever 80 con.
fused, though our private requests arc ever
80 broken. and though our private groanings
arc ever so much hidden from men. yet God
eyes them, records them, and puts thcm
upon tho fle Of heaven. and will one day
crown them with glorious answers and re-
turns.