Indiana State sentinel. (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1861-1865, 1863-08-17
AUGUST IL, 1868.
From the Chicago Post
sabbath lsecreatfons-Germ GAR
dens and their Productions-FroIfc
Feasfing and FolIy.


No. my dear, sRsophistcated madam. German
gardens are not exquisite little hortcnlturaI spots
devoted exclusively TO the production OF veg
etables; not by any means. On the contrary,
they ai.e grand reservoirs of pleasure and ro
nance, singing and dancing. eating and drinking
and everything calculated 10 make man. happy
and heighteD his appreciation of the true and the
beautiful Dutch cheese and lager. They are
celebrated for their efficacy in removing certan
diseases of the mind. such as hypochondria, the
blues, &c. They are not always reliable rem
edy. however, for many persons suffering from
malignant attacks, Of melancholy, have visited
them and returned without any change. ~
There are several of these German gardens in
the environs of Chicago; and among the most
noted are those at Bulls Head aud Cottage
Grove. Here YOU will find on every Sabbath day
miscellaneous collection fgood natured. whole
sonled and yhalfsonled Germans. Englishmen, ,
Irishmen and Americans, of ali classes and both
sexes, and of all trades and professions They
go to have fun, and good time, and to kill time.
For this purpose they form a sort of organization,
the head man of which. on account of the lager
beer he sells, is called lager head. out of
.tesy-a great way out of courtesy. He is gener-
ally supposed to be able TO drink more than any
body else, because he is lager cellar. He is
not asha med 10 let the world know bis capacious
ness, though, which is demonstrated by the fact
that he seldom drinks under a bushel. s,,,
If You would like to be initiated into the
mysteries of German garden, the method OF
obtaining admission is the simplest thing in the
world Provide, yourself with a railway ticker.
paper OF cigars and few cents to buy beer.
and yon equipped. You must not be dis
couraged if you suffer defeat and are almost
annihilated in your first engagement You may
stars, and through the politeness of the stars
you NAV see bars. but remember that stars and
bars make Brigadier Generals, though they have
signaly failed TO make the Southern Confederacy.
If you have great deal of money, young men
with good clothes on will try to lionize you. and
send you home with a spotted character. You
must know how to dance and understand waltz
ing in particular; these amusements developone's
muscle. and muscle Is what YOU want in gar
den. Cut these directions out and put them in
your hat. and if you cant 20 through the inita.
ton ceremony with entire safety to yourself and
the community. it is prma fAcia % evidence
that you don't know brown Holland from a
brass band. .T ~
= i went to the gardens one tine myself Glad
to escape from the nauseating or noseating arc
ma that escapes from Chicago river, l took pas
sage on the Madison street railway for the west
side pleasure grounds The gardens presented
magnificent prospect for new beginner. i
strolled through the gates and was enchanted BY
the magical music of sounding brass and tinkiae
cymbals.
noticed everybody had piece of blue ribbon
on his lapel. ! liked the style so well that
bought a dozen pieces to put on my hppel
Everybody drank lager. liked it so well
drank dozen layers, asked charming young
creature 10 dance with me, and she said she had
corns on her toes Nothing discouraged,
sought another more bewitching than ever-"a
rare and radiant maiden" with pink waist on
trimmed with red morocco leather and brass
headed nails. Shewas a divinity. / praised her
beauty. aud said it pity she was so modest
and tried to hide her beausy with carmGe
painted with honeyed eloqnence the attractions
of the mazy dance, and concluded by asking hei
to join me in hop. Locking up at me rs limo
Gently as a pet lamb, she simply said: "Lsl wha
big nose you've got' / resolved to have
nothing more to do with hops, except hops II
lager. Took dozen glasses of hops and set ou
tor more fun. Dancing is poor institution
anyhow. 1t don't amount tosa much as
newspaper reporters board bill for week, .I.
Saw u musician with brass horn on his head
trying to blow a tune in his hat. | thought il
fine sport. and felt as il should like to try il:
but couldn't get n horn ! was hungry and
told fellow was going to "a restaurant. "Goine
to arrest whose aunt?' sail be; for which insult
| struck him OH the fist with my head The ex
ertion so overcame me that laid down on the
ground to rest and elevated my feet in the air t.
keep the sun ont Of my face AS soon as ths
fellow eftl felt rested and came home. | shall
not go to the German gardens to day I've go
enough to last me till next summer. But in
sist that they are excellent institutions. You car
get fight at one Of them for half what it cost.
| you at retail, knew some sailors from an Irisi
vessel called tie Cork. who had A fight becaus,
they were called the Cork's crew. So much fo
German gardens and corkscrews. s5z sos
.r -s--s s BEAU HAoKETT.