The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1863-12-11

out these tiggers? 2" oval" ses I, "Kcrnel
| don't know, but / tAink Chase ,cants i
be merit President"
The Kernel tut the hint rite off; but h
scd Chase would never be President, for h
wanted to be SO bad, that he acted all tn
time as if bunib.e bee was sfingin him
and that his fyin round so w6uld hll hin
of, if nothin else. We then both sot dowl
and went to studyin the figgcrs. | cifere,
with my slate, and the Kernel made chal,
marts on his hat every time we got up f,
million of dollars. Purity soon the Ker
II, as eyes began TO look wild, and ses he
"Ma er where do we land next? Is she he'd
in n, $. .'ream or sideways? She'll 60 dow
sure as I'll, Under. Well, let her rip; she's
been 1 s;nkin consarn for years" I see a
once that the Kernel was highty. Chase''
iigser; had turned his he'd, and he though
he was hatbotin .agin on Mississippi river
But he hept on ra,,in. Ses he, "Maier
KNOCK that niger off the bow OF the bote'
he's rite in the way of the pilot. Ses |
"Kernel, it amt safe to hit a M ggc.E IN tnost
days; Stanton will put 'em in Fort lar ay-
etc. | tho't this might bring the Ke'rne
10 hij senses, but il didn't. Ses he 81. e
it goes, Major, jest as l told you, rite GA
that 5nag. That niger is TO blame for the
hull os it." ! see it was no use, that the
Kernel was nigh about starhmad, an so l
said to him, ses |, ''lct's put up this WORK
Tonight, an so TO bed" He didn't want
to, but dragged him of, an he Kept rayin'
all the time, That nigger has ruined me.
There he comcs--hc is aftcr me yeti"
As soon as got the Kernel in bed, I put
double set of mustard plastcrs on his feet,
ali then gave him strong dose of my old
remedy, elder BARK tea. Iknew that would
cure him, if anything on arth. Purity soon
the sweat began to start, an the gripin III
the bowels began. jest as soon as this
took place, it drawed all the disease opt of
his head, an the next mornin he was as
bright as new dimes used TO be when there
was sch things.
The fest thing the Kernel sed TO me in
the mornin was, scs he, "Maicr [ he'd an
awful dream last mite" SEES I, "What
waait7" WAL" scs lie, 81 drcamt that The
niger had destroyed the Union" "Wai, -
scs 4 KERNEL, you git nearer the truth i'll
your dreams than you ginerally do when
you arc wide awake. II youwill only have
another dream, you will see that the Abo-
lisainists have Killed the Union, and that
the poor nigger is only the means that they
have used TO do it,"
The Kernel didn't say nothin, but looked
down on the floor On whistlcd. Finally he
tux out of his pecAct one Of Chase's new
fifty cent shinplasIcrs, an scs lie, "Maier,
Kin you tell me why this new currency has
the odor OF nashmality about it?" "No,"
scs I, ''Kcrnel. I don't see it, "Wal,"
sec he because it is csata2 papor)" "Nal,"
scs |, "kernel, now kin you tell me why
that fifty cent shinplastcr is like the war;"
Ses he, "'lIa;er you've got me there. -
wall, l, the face is blacA which means
that we are fgiin to free the nigger, and
the back is red-orthc blood-thc price we
are payn for it!
When sel this the Kernel brought his
hand down on the tabil Ike, all possessed,
Civ Kick with his foot that sent his slipper
fyin clear across the room, and ses he,
''Majer, By thc---."Ses /, "kernel,
hold on. Do you wait to take any more
elder bark teal" When | sed this he taper
cd rite down, and scs he, jest as good as
pic, diets have some old rye and make
trends"
So | didn't object, but the mcssise amt
finished yet, and the Lord only knows when
it will be dun.
Yourn till dcth,
MAJER JACK DOWNING.