Rutland weekly herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1859-1877, 1863-08-13
Yours truly
70 Vt VT
FRANK +. HoLBRooK,
Commissioner of Vermont.
John smith IL Drafted-The Consc.
QueBCe.


My name is John Smith. received a
notice Thursday, July Both, 1868, at nine
o'clock, A. NJ. that had been drafted in
Canandaigua few days previously. |
forthwith called meeting Of myself and
glass of ale in my room at the hotel, at
seven o'clock in the same evening, at
which there was full attendance, and the
following proceedings took place:
On motion of Mr.. John Smith, John
Smith, ESQ, was called to the Chair, which
he took and filled with that dignIied self
compIacency and breadth of beam for
which he is so conspicuous. He made a
few remarks on the state of the weather
and the Empire of Mexico, which We're re-
ceived approximately, called the meeting
to order, appointed }, Smith, Secretary,
and requested some gentleman present to
state the object of the meeting. After a
moments silence, John Smith, Esq, Of
Rochester, arose and said;
The painful duty has devolyed upon me
of stating to this large, enthusiastic ami
patriotic assembly, that our honored and
respected friend John Smith, has been
called upon to suffer the extreme penalty
of the law The eccentric Administration
and he have been playing game Of
"drafts," and John Smith has lost-ai-
though the game has been a drawn one.
He is to be quartered at Elmira. 1t is
the old barbarity revived. Once, men
against whom people in high places had
reached out their hands of power, We're
hung, drawn andquartered now men are
drawn and quarterea before beng hung,
John Smith has been drafted. Uncle Sam,
being thirsty, called for a draught of men,
1t may be that John Smith will prove a
"toad in his stomach" (signs of disappro-
baton from johannes Smith, an admins
trator.) q. S. has succeeded in sucking
!. S. j. S. now goes to succor u. ). He,
a conscript, aojenS, goes to give aid and
comfort to the "Conscript Fathers" Fig
uratively speaking, he is about to repose
in "Abraham's BOSOM" Overcome by the
melancholy reflection, the eloquent speak
er here proceeded to revive his dropping
energies by copious draught Of ale. }
Yes, draft is what ails John Smith. A
conscript satirist, friend to perfect liber-
ty, and noble scion of the lordly race of
Smith, he goes to serve U. S. and W. E.
must thank him, therefor. But after all,
what is the world to man when his folks
are wearing black for him He may 90
forth Cor hght) to glory he may fill his
| clothes with the body of patriotic sol
bo ylr 4
to the rebel foe; he may have the tact
either to attack the enemy or tackle his
own hard tack, to tickle his tongue, while
he grows hardy with continued practice OF
Hardee's tactics; he may Here the
speakers tongue became so thick, and his
talk so entangled, from the combined infu-
ence of ale and emotion, that he was pre-
vailed upon to resume his seat.
John Smith then Suddenly arose and
addressed the assemblage. His remarks,
although able and interesting, had relation
almost entirely to the Chinese troubles and
the guano trade, and must be omitted. In
conclusion, referring to the matter under
discussion, he said 'But it is glorions
and very fine thing to know that draft
for $500 will operate as check to a draft
for one man; and the dollars being gwen
for the man, makes him, if his name be
William, Il Bill of Exchange. 1t is not
clearly settled in my mind, whether, if this
draft, so exchanged into Bill, be dshon-
orable, and protest be made, the liability
would fall on U. S. or u.s. 1t might be
advisable for John Smith to advertise for
good draughtsmen, who would be able to
draw him out of this difficulty. | viii
myself offer to make rough draft of the
notice--the rougher the draft the more
like the original draft, which every one
declares rough. If many more of our au-
gust family are drawn this August it will
be another wonderful draught Of fishes,
for certainly there are some odd ones
among them.
These are curious reflections, but futile
Let me fiddle ON the patriotic string. &c
forth John Smith, into this tumult of great
affairs! At such times great souls mount
Through long vistas of ambition and blood
| see you seated beside the Great Mogul