The Burlington weekly hawk-eye. [volume] (Burlington [Iowa]) 1860-1876, 1863-09-05
areemps Ward to the Prince 01
Wales.

ruYrNp WALEs.-You remember me.
90 YOU In Canady few years ago. re-
Gambler you too. seldim forgit person.
i hesrn Of your marriage to the Printcis
alexandria, and ment ter writ you con-
lrstoolatory letter at the time. but I've bin
s,Sen barn this summer, and hain't had
40 time to write letters TO folks. Excoos
A'Snmeris changes has tooken place since
"a met in the body polite. The body, po-
I;tic in fack, is sick. 1 sumtimes think it
has got biles, friend Wales. ao
In my country View got a war, while
cour country, in conjunktion with Cap'n
Seuls of the Atoba7wy, manetanes a moo
rm afraid can't write goaks when sit
s5out it. Oh no, guess not!
Yes, Sir, we've got a war, and the troo
pstrit has to make sacrifisses, you bet.
have alreddy given two cousins to the
var & stand reddy to sacrifiss my wife's
brother ruther'n not see the rebelyin
\ krusht. And if wuss Gums to wuss I'll
shed every drop of blud my able bodid re-
Iations has got to prosekoot the war.
think sumbody orter be prosekooted, and
il may as well be the war as any body else.
When git a goakin fit on me it's no use
TO try ter stop me.
You hearn about the draft, friend Wales,
no doubt. 1t caused sum squirmin' but it
was fairly conducted, think, for it hit all
classes. 1t is troo that Wendill Phillips,
who is a American citizen of African scent,
scaped, but SO did Vallandiggum, who is
Conservativ, and who was resuntly sent
South, tho he would have been sent to the
Dry Tortoogus if Abe hadn't 'sposed for a
mint that the Tortoogusses would keep
him.
We hain't got any daily paper in our
town, but we've got a female SEWN circle,
which ansers the same purpuss; and we
WASH long in suspents as to who was
drafted.
One young man who was dsawd claimed
to be exempt because he was the only son
Of a widow'd who supported him. A few
able bodied dead men was drafted, bnt
Z whether their heirs will have to pay
hundred dollars peace for 'em in a
question for Within, who pears to be tink-
erin up this draft bizness n II smart. I
hope he makes good wages.
will go. A few will go to Canady, stOppin'
ca their way at Concord, n. H., where I
p understan there is Muslum Of Harris.
You see I'm sassy, friend Wales, hittin'
al sides; but no Offense is ment. You
know amt politician, and never was.-
IvOte for Mr.. Union-thats the only cam
didate I've got. claim, however, to have
a well-balanced mind; though my idees
Of a we'll balanced mind differs from the
i does of partner once had, whose name
il was Billson. Billson and / orjanized a
strolin dramatic company, d we played
The Drunkard, or the Falling Saved, with
a real drunkard. The play didn't take
particularly, and says Billson to me, Let s
give EN- sum immoral dramy. We had a
large troop onto our hands, consistin' OF
eight tragedians and bass drum, but
says, No, Billson; and then says I, Billson,
you hain't got well-balanced mind. Says
he, Yes, have, old hoss-fly (he was a low
cuss)-yes, have, have mind, says he,
that balances in any direction that the pub
1 lie rekires. That's wot l call well-bal-
anced mind. l sold out and bid adoo to
Billson. He is now an outcast in the State
Of Vermont. The miser'ble man once
played Hamlet. There wasn't any Or
chestry, and wishin' to expire to slow moo
sic, he died playin' on claironett him.
SELF interspersed with hart-rendin' groans,
and such is the world! Alars! alars! how
onthankful we air to that Providence
which kindly allows us to live and borrow
money, and fail and do bizniss.
But to return to our subjeck, with our
resunt CRATE triumps on the Mississippi,
the Father of Waters land them is waters
10 Father need feel ashamed Of-twig the
winkism?) and the cheerin look of things
in other places, l reckon we shan't want
any Muslum of Harris. And what upon
airth do the people of Concord, n. H., want
e Muslum of Harris for? Hain't you got
the State House now, & what more do you
want? , .....s....
But all this is furrin to the purpuss OF
this note, arter all. My objeck in now ad-
dressin you is to give you sum advice
friend Wales, about managin' your wife
bimiss Eve had over thirty years expe-
rience in.
You had good weddin'- The papers
hav good deal to say about wilkins il
connection tharewith. Not knowings what
that air and so frankly tells you, my no.
BILE lord dock of the throne, can't zactly
say whether we had 'em or not. We was
both very. much illustrated. But ] never
injoyed myself better in my life. 80.
Dowtless, your supper was ahead o.
our'n. AS regards eatin uses Baldinsville
was alters shaky. But You can git a GOOD
meal in New York, & cheap too. You car
git half mackril at Delmonico's or Mr.
Mason Dory's, for six dollars, and bileG
npertaters throw'd in. tt
. AS sed, / manige my wife without any
psrticler trouble. When l fust commons
irainin' her / institooted a series of exper
iments, and them as didn't work aban
ding'd. You'd better do similer. You
wife may objeck to gittin' up and bildin
the fire in the mornin', but if you com
menee with her at once you may be able t
sarve that didn't commence arly enuff.
wouldn't have you s. pose was ever kicked
out of bed. Not at all. I simply say, il
regard to bildin' fires, that didn't com
nenoe arly enuff. 1t was a rnther colo
mornin' when fust proposed the idee t
Betsy, It wasn't well received, and l fount
. myself layin' on the floor putty student
Thought I'd git UP and bid the fire my
self
OF course now you're marrid you can ca
onions. Iallus did, and if know my owl
hart, allus will. My daughter, who i,
soin' on II and is risky, says they's dis
gustin. And speakin' Of my daughter re
minds me that quite number Of younf
men have suddenly discovered that I'm {
very entertainin' old Teller, and they visi
Us freQently, specially on Sunday evenins
One young chap-a LAWYER by habit-don',
cum as much as he did. My wife's fathe,
lives with us. His intellek totters little
and he saves the papers containin' the pro
ceedns Of our State Legislator. The ole
genPman likes to read out loud, and b.
reads torble well. He eats hash freely
which makes his voice clear; but as he on
fortnilly has to spell the most of his words
may say he reads slow. Wall, whenever
this lawyer made his appearance woult
set the old man a-readin' the Legislativ
7 Hopf tho vornD 1awvar nm on.