The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1863-03-06
How the Sexes go to Bed.

The young girl trips gaily up to her cham
ber, and with the cautious timidity peculiar
to her sex, first locks the door and arranges
. the window curtains, so that by no possible
chance passer by or a belated nocturnal
wanderer, from the pavement, can catch a
glimpse of her budding beauty when en dis
kaJWe. This task completed, she turns or
the gas to its full, and institutes a general
search throughout the apartment, that she
NAV be sure it does not contain a horrible
bugbear," or desperate rutfian," in big
whiskers. and crisp black hair. Carefully
with her delicate little fingers, she lifts the
bed valance, peers into places where even
Tom Thumb could not squeeze his dimini-
tive corporation, and takes a cursory peep
into the half emptied trunk, not forgetting to
glance nervouslv under the sofa, the space
between which and the floor is not sufficient
to contain the ghost of Calvin EdSon. much
less an ordinary robber Having ascertained
that she is really alone. she lri>urely pro-
ceeds to divest her fair form OF the silk
and linen conven,ionaities of society,"" First
she relieves her CLASSY hair of the pins and
combs which enthrall it, and does it up
mere compactly. Then off comes the little
collar. and the light vapory cloud of lace she
calls undersleeves. which ali the day have
been clasped around her white, plump arms.
by couple of India rubber straps. Next.
the love of spring silk dress is unta$tened
in front Then sundry waist strings and hnt-
ton straps are loosed, and 10. what col
lapse like loves big balloon. She stands
like Saturn,in the center of rings. There they
lie upon the soft carpet, partly covered by
the linen undertakings and overfxingS. with
no more expression in them than there is in
the bare floor beneath the carpet. Sits she
now upon the edge of the snowy bed. and
begins the unlacing of CATERS, and the dis
robing of those fair swelling limbs of the
stockings. The pretty little foot is carefnlly
perched upon the knee-down drops tie
saiter, off comes the elastic. and her thumb
inserted at the top of the stocking. pushes it
down,-down over the heel, and the cotton
rests beside the prunella. So with the other
foot, only involving a slight change Of posi-
ton. There is smile that peeps out from
behind the bushes of her sweet face, now.
as standing before the Z lass, she places upon
her head the night cap, and with a quick
twist of her fingers ties the bewitching bow.
Then the night gown is thrown over the
frilled chemise, concealing the heaving bos-
ON, and the shoulders in the linen folds
Then the counterpanes and sheets are thrown
back. the gas is turned down-very, very low
and the little form presses the yielding
couch, and the angel goes off into the world
of dreams.
Now, in the room directly above her is the
great brute of brother. He comes into i.
shuts the door with slam. turns the KEY
with snap, growls at a chair which happens
to be in the way, pulls off his boots and
throws them into corner, jerks his SOCKS
from his feet, drops his pantaloons on the
foo. and lets them lie there; gets off his
coat and vest by quick, vindictive sort of
twist of his arms and body, unpinS and un-
buttons his collar, throws it carelessly with
the tie, at rather than on the table; travels
to the window in his shirt extremity to let
down the curtain, as if he didn't care cuss
whether the entire population of the street
beheld his anatomy or not; then puts OFT
the light and bounces into bed like great
calf jumping into pile of hay-curls himself
up, his knees nearly touching his nose, lies
so moment or two, turns on his back,
stretches his limbs out, swears at the tuck
ing in of the bed clothes, grunts, gets over
on the other side, and is-asleep. Then
comes in the snoring and snortng.
Isn't there difference in style?