Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-01-06
Artcmrs Wards serenade.

tAS StN6fdt VI our puOliC ihoD are COD~
stantly being surprised with serenades.
concl0oded I'd DE surprised in the same
way, so made arrangements according, |
asked the Brass Band how much they'd
take to take me entirely By surprise with
q seTeBade.
They said they'd overwhelm me with
unexpected honor for seven dollars, which
/ expected.
wrote out my impromptoo speech sevt
eril days beforehand, bein' very careful to
expunge all ingramatticism and payin pir-
tioular attention to the punktooation. 1t
was, if | may say it without egitism, q
manly effort. Alars never delivered it,
as the sekel will show you paced up and
down the kitchin speakin' my piece over so
as to be entirely perfect. Ny blOomin'
young daughter, Sarah Ann, bothered me
summit by singin. Why 90 summer roses
fade p
Because said l, after hearin' her sing
it about fourteen times, because its their
big Let 'em fade
Betsy said l, pausin' in the middle of
the room and letten' my eagle eye wander
from the manuscript; Betsy. on the Right
of this here sereDade. | desire you to ape
pear at the winder dressed in white, and
wave a lilly white handkerchief. Dye
heart?
IF appear said that remarkable fe-
male, i shall wave lilly white bucket Of
bilin' hot water and somebody will be
scalded. One bald-headed old fool will get
bis share
She referred to her husband. No doubt
about it in my mind. But for fear she
mite exasperate me said nothin.'
The expected night cuB. At nine o.
clock precisely there was sounds of foot
steps in the yard, the band struck up q
lively air, which when they did finch Is,
there was cries of Ward, WardP slept
out into the portieo. A brief glance show
ed that the aEssmblabe was summit mixed.
There was great many ragged boys. snd
there was quite number of grown up per-
soUs evidently under the af1ueDce Of the
intOxIcatin' bole The band was also
drunk. DR.. Sohwarzey, who was holdin'
up post seemed to be particularly drunk
so much so that it got into his spectscles
whieh were staggerin' wildly over his nose.
But was in for it, and commenced:
'Feller citizens: For this unexpected
honor
Leader of the baDd-will you give US our
money now, or wait till you get through
To this painful and disgusnn' Interrupt
ton paid DO attention.
for this unexpected honor ! thank
you.'
Leader of the band-But you said you
would give as seven dollars if we'd play
two choOns.
Again l didn't notice him, but resumed
as follows:
1 say l thank you warmly. When 1
look at this crowd of -Americans, my
heart swells-
DR.. Schwazey.-So do ].
A voice.-We all do.
my heart swells-
A voice.-Three cheers for the swells.
we lIve,' said |, in troublous times, but
l hope we shall resume again our former
proud position, and 90 on In glorious ca
reer'
DR.. Sohwarzy-1m willin' for to 20
on in glorious career. Will you ioiu me
fellow citizens in glorious career! What
wages does man get for glorious carter,
when be finds himself
DR., Sehwarzey,' l said stearnlv, you
are drunk, You are disturbin' the meet
in.'
III S' 4AhNC JOu DbhNuCk Dl tuc
house? / should like a rynOssyros on the
half shell, or q hiypOtamus on toas, or q
horse and wagon roasted whole. Any
thing that's handy. Don't put yoursel out
on my account.
At this pint the band began to make d
hldeous noise with their horns, and q ex-
ceedingly ragged boy wanted to know il
| there wasn't to be some whites afore The
concern broke ap. / didn't exactly know
what to DO, and was just on the pint of dol:
1t, when a upper winder suddenly opened
/ and a stream of hot water was brought tC
bear on the dis1rderiy crowd, who took th,
hint and retired at once
When I'm taken by surprise by another
serenade, shall, among other arrange
ments, have respectful company oil
| hand.