The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1863-04-01

May / few tracts?" asked a missionary of an
elderly lady who responded to bis knock.
>tLeave some tracks? Certainly you may"
she, looking at him benignly over her specks;
's!eave them with heels toward the door, II you
please"
LEAP YEAR DlLEMNA.It would be altogether
improper for You to propose" to your bashtul
lover, even if you do ''positively know that ne
Il diving to get YOU for his wife and is only kept
back BY bashflIness" The joke about ladies
taking courts,ip into their own hand, and making
the 'sproposa,s," during leap year should be re
garded only as Joke" 1t will not do for any
goman to reduce the idea to practice. 1t Is
hardly possible that a man could ever respect
woman, even if he should marry her, who should
take such an impudent liberty
Harriet informs us that she has one lover older
chan her papa, and another two younger than
herself Harriet is scarcely nineteen. What
am | to do?" she inquiries. The old lover i
nearly fifty, the young o0e not yet eighteen
The question is very hard to decide; for real
happiness depends 70 much more upon ourselves
than upon others Don't marry the boy, at any
rate; let him 20 back to school. Wait little
longer, Harriet.
Debaegr. To discover is to find out the exis-
tegce of something not known to exist. 10 IN
vent is to devise Il new application of known
principles, or Il new combination OF known
6oycrs Columbus discovered America. Frank
i'm discovered the identity of electricity with
lightning Watt invented the improvements IN
the steamengine.
yeritas.-A lady who declines to dance with
gentleman, alleging that she is mot going to
dance this time and then changing her mind,
dances with another, ought to make it pointto
explain the circumstance TO the first gentleman
IF she does not she il not a lady.
An attorney brought M immense bill to lady
for business he had done for her. The lady,
to whom he had once paid his addresses, muir
CURED 1T the charges.
"Nadam," replied the limb of the law, 81
wanted to convince you that my profession IS
lucrative, and that should not have been bad
match
A person looking over the catalogue Of pro-
fassonal gentlemen OF the bar with pencil wrote
against the name of one who OF the busting
order "Has becnaceused Of possessing talents
Another, seeing it wrote under "He has been
tried and acquitted"
A mother, who had brought up large family
Of children with eminent success, was once asked
nv Younger what she recommend II the ease
Of her children who were to carefully educated
II think, my dear, 4 little wholesome neglect,
she replied
Tbe wife Of the president Of one Of the Uni
of her little Girl whom she named Jessie, wrote
Since YOU have given your husband Jessie, we
shall probably next hear of your raising NED.
4 Quaker in business in Boston, dl5liklnine
che ESQ" to his name, advised southern cor
RESPONDENT to direct his letters to Amos SmltF
without any tail, and received reply, super
acribed. "Amos Smith, without any tail Boston,
A Sharp Dodge Two gentlemen went to tbs
levee recently to take passage in St Louis boat
With keen eye fellow close by discoveries
they were going on board Of the
',You don't tell?" said one Of the men.
Fact -'pon my SOUL"
ssBat YOU ain't going to take it 70 St. Louis
teYcs We are-but that boat believe carrie
none.
the gentleman with the friendly warning was tn
runner Of the other boat And OF course th'
passengers were On board the boat.
An iafirm old gentleman was found " Fogu
moaning sadly at something lost.
Rogua-'sWhat's the matter, sir?"
Old Nan-"O, sir, villain just stole mY-gol
laced hat from my head, and away with It,"
Rorne-"Why don't you run after nim!"
Ola Man-"Bess your heart, Sir, | can't ~
at all! can hardly walk"
Rogue-"The deuce you can't, = and he stoI
pour hat?"
old Man--tYes, he did, sir.
Rorue-"And you can't run"
Old Man-"NotI"
Rogae-"Nor catch him?"
Old Man-"No."
Rogae--"Then here goes tor yon1 wig! an
accordingly pulling off that t6atch for the hea
4be falloW went off like shot and the old gel
Neman was left as bald as coot
Old age gives good advice when It'll no longt
IL 90 ytua had pyamOle.