Delaware gazette. [volume] (Delaware, Ohio) 1855-1886, 1863-11-13
A "Polyglor" Lecture.

Y Charlie Brownies fArtemus Ward las
b d" able lecture" in Philadelphia, contained th
0 following paragraphs, which throw great ligh
upon great variety of subjects:
= ID not come here for the purpose of in
} structing anybody. I shall not ignore the lit
tie people, little boys or little girls. Iilz,
little girls; L like big girls just as well. dc
! not desire you to regard these PREDATORY re
marks as at all apologize. l never was en-
} barassed but once in my life; the circumstance
is a secrete a profound secret; know it will
go no further there are so many ladies present.
1t is said rolling stone gathers ne moss.
don't see what good that would do the rolling
stone. / don't see what the rolling stone wants
to gather moss for. As for rising with the
lark, prefer to rise with gold. Some peo-
pie say that rocks are like stones. For my
part prefer to be rocked TO sleep than ston-
ed to death. intend to go to California by
the way of the sea ; l should like to go by the
way of the Mississippi, because the way is freel
Immense applause.
At the close of one Of my bursts of elo-
quence. one gentleman was observed to leave
The hall; he was very much moUed. Eloquenee
is like gingerbread you only want one hunk
of it at time. l might have lectured to you
upon astronomy, and mentioned the stars,
among which the most prominent is the South
ern cross, which is mulatto. Instead of lec-
turing on physical culture, thought of Eng
land for lecture. think England deserves
a lecture. l thought of music. I'd give my
best head of bair-althougb, as the soldier
said to his Iady-love, it's bard to pGrt-[great
applausel Ito write well on that.
A young and very unmarried lady whom I
once knew, Of about ffty-two summers or
someloiereS about there, used to sing,
My heart is throbng."
and l sweetly said, let it throb' / might
have lectured on A Africa There are no riot
ers there, and there is general disposition TO
see the draft in force. You will permit me to
say few words about people who put on airs.
revere Bunker Hill, aud sometimes when
am in Boston | stop at the ReUere House. |
own farm in the State of Maine I should |
like to sell it. l have a grandmother-tw
grandmothers-and love them. Indeed, we |
ought to like our relaiions--not, indeed, our
foreign relations, except Russia. You remem.
Der the remark of New Jersey magistrate,
about five O'Clock one afternoon, / am glad
the habeas corpus is suspended at last. The
old -- ought to have been hung years
ago."
There is one good thing in speaking on SO
many good topics in so short space of time,
you don't dwell long on any of them. Like
the yellow fever it don't detain you long
Ambition is very good thing in its way
Alexander wept, as you, no doubt have been
because he had no more worlds to
conquer, and if he we're alive now, he would
weep again and be appointed to brigadier-
ship. Poetry never to me was a subject for
lecture. If some of our newspaper rhymers
mad been hens, their lays might have been of
more profit TO the market. There are two
new subjects which intended to grappIe with;
out able minds do not grappIe in my family
These two subjects are Slavery and Temper
lnce. Will you listen TO me for four hours on
Slavery and Temperance? might lecture on
Love, Courtship, Matrimony, &c. There are
unpleasant marriages, and there will be as
ong as unpleasant people continue to get
married. IL all marriages there are squalls.
OF course in ali marriages you must look
'ut for squalls. Great laughter. To me {
lbsurd people are most refreshing. Among
Aese is the old maid who objected to man
ion house because it had not a bow window
n it. The laugh comes in, ladies, and gentle
men, at the word bow. am reliably inform :
d that Boston has beautiful statuary. l e
now it from what saw in Rome-I allude |
o Rome on the Pennsylvania railroad, where :
hey stop every ten minutes for refreshment.
Now, with your permission, we will talk
bout the restoration of the Union. I have g
ONE convictions on the subject, obtained in P
he midst of checkered career. 1 don't c
xactly know what checkered career is, but ,
use the phrase because it sounds well. Those .
len who would pull the Union clock to pie
es will fail, and fined their endeavors shatter- q
d beneath the lightning stroke of the popu- 1
lr will. Ladies and gentlemen, expect to a
,cture in San francisco, California, about u
,ur weeks from to-day. Tickets admitting to u
his lecture will admit to that free Of ex- .
ense. aH-