Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1863-12-24

ONE LEETLE Small STORIEs.-Der vas Won
sun nit der east up in der mornin' sky. Dat
was long time ago. Day was proke Dat was
nice. Everything gets down and kums up nit
demsclyes and waters der faces nit wet wash
and says, "Ish breakfast rcadty?" Mein got I!
vat makes peoples so trealful hungry pcfore
dca eats anything? Nit both hands in der
knives and forks dey pitches inter demselves
NIT Won ting and anoddcr till dey is satisfied
nit making demselycs one pigs. Everything
is swallowed up CHATTER nit der mouths open.
Den dey runs round picking der teeth met
der Shtummykake. Got in himmel, vot bad
fix dey ish in | vas der too. Ven I gets
pack de sun vas up so much higher as ever
NIT de east behind his face delling de grass to
drys up. De little birds was fl lying off nit der
little feeders round de l1ows, nit der long
dails, vas delling der flies to get off nit der
legs-cverythlng vas somewhere it vasent be-
fore! Watts vas der matter now Dunder !!
Mine pig turnip watch, vot | stops all der way
to winds up looks pack nit poth fingers in
mine eye, and ticks "tcn o'clock: :" Time
file away NIT a big buzz in mine head, and [
| sees nothing but the leetle shmall tick nose
vat crawls mitout legs in my watch. | sees a
| young man vat wares his head out doors nit
out any hats on, stop standing still. "Vot
! you dink? ?" says /. "Swi lager" saws he.
"Yaw, dat ISL goot," says /. Den we went
| ourselves down NIT shome stheps, and frank
two tumblers inside out, and felt of ourselves
so much better as pefore fustrate.
Who vas mine friend? Dat vas he, 7
shwares to dat nit no more pible as can
hold. Dat vas him. "Swi lagerm saws |.
"1aw," says he, nit his legs across demselfs
| drinks dey vas tired nit runnin' too much
| round. Dat vas so. Den we trow ourself
outside swi more lager, and pegins to veel as
gOot as we don't care for der tit1e. Den mine
trient,s feet put demselfs in mine lap. Dey
vas more tired as before. ''Swi lager?" says
mine frient. "Yaw," says I. <'Den you
dreats," says he, nit one tam horse laugh
Blixen. Shoose vas l to sat town and stand
dat F.! Mine fist few out of mine hand and
hits him on der nose. He lay his pack on
der floor, and says noting pretty quick. He
vas very mooch tired. His nose rooms over
his vace NIT plood. Pimepy he stands him.
selfup On his honor. 'Mine got, vat ish der
matter ?" says he, looking at der chair where
he falls out from: 'Ish l gomez" 'sSwi Ia
GER" says I. Den he stands himself up on his
feet, and fell nit poth hands full, nit one
hard pillow in der eyes of mine face. Mine
got! den it vas night. l sees noting of some
ting for vun week put shtars. Dat vas me.
| shwares to do NIT more pibles as is in my
booklets. l don't sees myself for so long dat
l forgets who vas. Who vas 1? Nopody
knows. Dunder and blixen OATS me. I
say noting, but runs off NIT myself evervare.
Shtop.
i Coon JOKF.-At the late draft at Prairie
du Chen, copper-headed individual present
set up howl of unfairness, saying the draft
officers had it all fixed to take the Democrats
and let the Abolitionists so free. He was
then called up, blind-folded, and told to do
the drawing himself The first name drawn
by him was his own! He had nothing more
to say
~ Costar's Rat Exterminator is good
but that said to be invented by Connecticut
man is better, as it is a powder stuff, which
jerks rats head off at the third sneeze!