Weekly standard. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1858-1865, 1863-04-01
A CAPITAL JEU D'EspRIT.


English paper. The writer is evidently an Ameri-
can. We give bis Introductory communication
REPORT OF FIsHY CONVENTION.
To the Editor Of the liverpool Mercury:
GENTLEMEN AS the political eommotien in the
United States Is over, and every thing is quiet,
thought would send you specimen Of political
commotion which sometimes happen at particular
places. The following is what picked up in my Ave
years scjourn in California. 1t was repeated at q
regular Democratic meeting which occurred in the
Ssste If you consider it sufficient amusing you
may insert it in your paper for the qualification Of
your readers. Yours, &C.,
All the marine monsters, big fish and small fry
of the great Deep lately met in conoention to take
into consideration the conduct of the Ocean. and
also OF Mankind in general. The Whale was elected
president, and from his greatness might be termed
the Prince of Whales. He opened the conoentson
by stating that he did not wish to make speech,
be would take up as little room and be no longer
than possible. (Cheers.)
The Shark whispered to the Sword6sh that it was
not possible for the Whale to be much longer, for
he was eighty feet now; in his opinion he only
wanted a chance to spout and he considered him
regular old blower.
The Whale commended that, notwithstanding his
general size, Che might add tears he was not ex-
empt from suffering He had been grossly insuted
by mamie wouldsay lampooned; not that he would
UPON tue use uauC Vi HIS 40 to Viz "oS
to make light of such matter. He had been har-
pooned at least Men were sarcastic towards him,
and his shafts were sharp and pointed. Some Of
his fellow whales had been very much cut up and
exceedingly tried, lie had lately learned that
substitute for oil had been invented, which might
lessen the persecution of whales out he feared it
was all gas The whale alluded to harpoon which
had lately hit him; it had made great impression
on him, and he feared had affected him deeply
L -, cool
him, and he sat down ION the Shark) amid gener-
al blubber.
The Shark rose with some difficulty, and re.
marked that the tail Of the whale had moved him
in fact, it was very striking His own situation
was far from pleasant. He was by profession
lawyer, and, he hattered himself one of the deep
kind. Cheers and laughter. But business was
bad and he had been obliged to take in few pu-
pills. He had lately presented q fine opening for
young man who fell ouer6oard, but was soon after
wards obliged to reject his suit as indigestible.-
Unless he had more cases he should leave the law,
and open as dentist, as he was we'll acquainted
with the art of setting teeth. He held up one fin
as signal that he had finished.
The Sea Serpent did not wish to intrude upon
the convention, as he did not know whether he
properly belonged to the fish tribe-did not wish
to appear cf:fshous. All he asked was to be clas.
sified with the Eel, whom he considered a slippery
e"""Stc|. ltACaC TIC Gct dS OOScIScu " WTlSSlc
Lately he was passing certain species of the EEL
when he just happened to touch him he had been
so shocked that he had hardly recovered.
The Eel hastily arose, al said he was electrified
at these remarks it was evident that the Serpent
was more than half seas over, and, if he was not
careful, would get himself into regular coil As
for his being slippery character" be thanked
Neptune he did not belong to such scaly set as
the Serpent
Whalo lad fha Eol 10 nr1a nd fha Eel
called the Whale cenfounded old swell head and
was then summarily put out of the convention.
The Turtle was suffering from slight iEdispos-
ton. He was walking ashore, some time since,
when he met party Of jolly young sailors. The
result that he laid fiat on his back and was I'M
able to move for some time, and SINCE he had not
fel: as lively as usual. There was one thing to
which he would call the attention of the convention
He prided himself upon the purity of his political
principles; he was the alderman best friend. The
Shark had lStel; insulted him BY calling him reg
ular old hard-shell.
Here the Shark interrupted him by asking if that
was not his case?
The Turtle replied that he should say nothing
more at present. but should have something to lag
before the next meeting
The Shark, (contemptuously,) yes Jew eggs,
probably.
The Porpoise did not exactly understand the pur.
pose Of the convention nor whether all the members
were present. The Secretary called the roll The
Whale called him to order, and was sorry to see
him rceling about in that disgraceful condition.
HIS motion was quite out of order, and he appeared
to be attempting to get up revolution. The Por-
poise assured the convention that his movements
proceeded entirely from the motion Of the waves;
but still he should have his notion He then took
a hack seat amid cries of ''you're blouer"
The President remarked that he should be hap
py to hear from some of the small fry-the oyster
lobster and others who, if not the "bone and
sinew" Of the tribe were at least the naaseles
The oysters proceeded to open his case, which
was hard one. lie was continually in trouble,
and always in some stew or broil. He had family
troubles, also; his half brother, the Diam. was
rally considered "squirt" Sope of his family
are very lazy, and spend most Of their time in BEDS
There had also been some rakes among them, Great
ing great disturbance He was most respectable
himself; his father was quite distinguished and his
maternal ancestor was Nothsr Of PEARL He went
in for his own rights, and did not care whether the
rest got theirs or not.
The Shad, too in his spring mgrations up the
rivers had been greatly prosecuted particularly by
the members of the Legislature. Men had greatly
nettled him, and had nearly driven him insuns. He
him was Fryday. However, he thought his enemies
had suffered somewhat in the warfare and found his
tail regular bonyparte.
The Flat6sh was not particularly fattering in
reply to the Shad for he did not believe there was
a shadow of truth in his remarks.
The Salmon, also, had his troubles. He was m
aristocrat-(here there was general turning up pf
noses and some tittering)-no of the Goldfish kind
either, and Gid not associate with the small fry. He
spent most of his time in travelling and in the sum-
mer went up the inland rivers and took his family
to the springs and the FALLS He had been lately
much afflicted and grossly matreated at the South.
Passing up the Savannah river his family had been
surrounded by party of Infamous kidnappers, and
some of his children had been hooked. 1t was his
intention to inform Uucle Sam and Tom of thus
outrage, and the Union would be dissolved imme-
diately.
Here there was regular rowamong the small fry.
The Trout called the Salmon "Northern Fish,
with Northern principles who had no business