Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1863-01-31

Upon reaching the Mackeral camp, my
boy, l found all the spectacle warriors
under arms for fray, the unaccomodat.
ing Contederacies on the other side o
Paris, having urged some riAed objec.
tons to the construction of a pontoou
bridge across Duck Lake. The chap who
was bnilding the bridge had only jus,
united his second paper of nails, when a
potato from some Confederate mark sman,
in the second story of Paris, hit him VIC.
lently i'll the stomach. simultaneously
the cover of a dinner.pot cracked his
knuckes, aud, as he fell back in good
order brick tapped him on the head
Believing that hostilities had commenced,
the new General Of the Mackeral Brigade
hastily put on his dirty clothes, and Or
dered the Orange County Howtzers to
commit incendiarisn with Paris simulta-
neously directing Rear Admiral Head
to moor the Secretary Wells abreast
of the nearest Confederacy and shell him
with great slaughter.
Under command of Captain Samyule
Sasmith, the Howitzers were opened upon
faris, and commenced such a tornado of
round shot and grape that the surrounding
landscape was very much detaced There
was much noise, my boy-there was much
noise.
But the great sight of the hour was the
maneuverlng of the iron plated Macke
squadron on the tempestuous waters OF
Duck Lake. After hastily making fire
IN the stove on the quarter deck, and p'ac.
ing tunbler where it could warm, the
stern old Rear Admiral ordered the Mack.
eral crew to report how much wa er there
was i'll the hold. The crew repaired to
the stern sheet and reported Zone pitch,
ertul and two lemmons;" whereupou the
hardy old seadog swore in his iron plated
manner, and ordered the swivels guns
amidsh;ps to be trained upon the basement
windows of Paris Everything Icing in
readiness, the word was giving to fire!
Bang went the horrid instrument of
carnage, and the hideous missile went
crashing through the back basement vim
dows, cutting a bow from the cap of ven
cradle Florence Nightingale who was at
that moment making a sponge cake for
some sick Contederacies, and driving the
stove-pipe clear through the wall. The
aged Nightingale thought that something
had happened, and says She "Well, l
never did ~
Rear Admiral Head smiled; bnt it was
the horrid smile of naval blood thrstyness.
Revolve my turret!" says he, grimlv-
hight not against women but the other
window must be broken"
The venerable Neptune leaned over his
co,umbiad to make sure of this shot, un.
consciously pressing his stomach against
the butt end of his gun. There was a re-
port, my boy; the swivel-gun kicked, and
the Rear Admiral fell upon the deck with
q promsCuous violence.
Meanwhile Company 3, Regiment 5, un
der Captain William Brown, had waded
across Duck Lake in as many divisions as
there were Nackerels, and Immediately
commenced a tremendous fire of musket.
ry at the upper windows of Paris. wound
ing Contederacy who kept shoe store
up there AID reducing two hower-po to
fragments.
Whilst | was witnessing the lombard.
ment, my boy, and admirng the course
with which William was slashing around
with his sword, | noticed that the squad.
run had suddenly ceased firing
1t had ceased firing, because Rear Ad.
miral Head had unexpectedly discovered
that his Mackere Crew was a Black Res
publican; and had therefore engaged him
in single combat. greatly to the uetrmeut
Of the regular engagement.
Scarcely had turned to view this new
phase of war, when the firing of howitzers
and musketry behind me instantly ceased
and l heard a low murmur of wonder aris
ing from the whole brigade
Quickly turning about again, was has
tening to where Captain Bob Shorty strobe
with the Comic Section, when | beheld
General Wobert Wobinson, the new Gen
eral Of the Mackerel Brigade. cantering
along the shore Of Duck Lake on his
trained charger, and exhibiting a form to
petrity the whole world with admiration.
"Ah there's Shape" was the low cry
of the spcctacled veterans as they gazed
breathIesslv at the picture.
Captain Bod Shorty cleaned his glasses
to make sure that it was no illusion, and
says he: " BY all that's Federal, it APP
pears to me that never saw SO much
Shape!
A Confederacy, who had Just appeared
on the roof of Paris with a horse pistol in
his hand and slaughter in his thoughts,
caught sight of the equestrian vision, and
instantly dropped his merciless weapon of
destruction as though paralyzed.
"Oh!' says he painting, what shape?"
Rear Admiral Head heard the sound in
the midst of his single,combat. and paused
to ascertain what it was. His spectacles
scanned the horizon round and round,
until they finally rested on a figure of the
new General Of the Mackere Brigade.
Fracture my armor?' says he, emphat.
ically," "did ever survey so much Shape?"
The battle was over for that day.
Shape, my boy, is great thing in
General; for when Heavens Great Printer
commenced to set human type in the
"gally' of earth, He must have needed
considerable General matter to fully make
up His FORMS and when General has
form fully up TO his make, we may con.
slider him well set up
Yours, geographically.
~