Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1863-06-13

l.. ...-..o. 4 Hard joke. ~.
The Mobile Advertiser, tells tho follow
ing good story Of = notorious practical
joker in that city, ycleped "Straight Back
Dick:"
Dick was At the wharf, one day last
week, when one Of the up-river boats ar.
rived, looking, doubtless, for some unwary
individual upon whoms 70 exercise bis
talent. He watched closely the coun.
tenance Of each passsngss % hs stepped
from the plank upon the wharf, and, at
length, fastened his gaze upon IN indi
vidual Who, from his appearance andman'
nsrs, was considerably nearer Mobile than
hs had ever been before. He was evident
" i'll st ease, and had probably heard the
reports which were rife in the country re.
lstive to tho hundreds Who were dying in
Mobile every hour from yellow fever.
The man started b6 toward Dsuphin
street, carpstsaok in hand, bu. had not
proceeded far when heavy hand Vas
laid upon his shoulder and he suddenly
stopped. Upon turning around, he met
the cold, serious countenance Of Dick
and it seemed to send q thrill Of terror
throughout his whole frame. After look
ing At him steadily 70, about . minute,
Dick slowly calculated
''Yes, you are the man. Stand straight
With fear visible in his countenance, the
poor fellow assayed to do as commanded.
"Straighter yet" said Dick. "There,
that will do,' and taking from his pocket
small tape measure, he stopped down
and measured him from the too of his
boot 70 the crown of his hat, took pencil
and carefully noted the height in his
pocket book, to the utter amas ement Of
tho stranger, after which he measured him
across tho shoulders and again noted the
dinsasioss. he thsn looked he stzsagsr
6rnly in the facs and said: ...a + :-..
j, "sir. / An sorry thas i i %, but ! -.
ally will not b able 10 laish i for ysu b.
tore noraiag." - f--' .a@ eta~- T..
Finish vhae r, asksd he strsaesr,
sndeavosing in vain to appear calm 49,
"Why, yonr coffin 70 bs sarsl You
80, I am tho city undertaken. and the
people are dying here 20 fast, that I can
hardly supply the demand for eodins.-
You will have 10 wait until your turn
comes, which will be tomorrow morning
LAY about nine o'clock"
"But what the ID do I want With .
eoain Z have no idea of dyingr' o.
You bavn't, eh9 Sir, you will not
live two hours and half. Isee it in your
oountenance. Why, even now, you have
a rain--a slight pain in your back"
"Y,yes, l h'have,' replied the trembling
hoosier.
Exsc.ly,' said Dick, "and in your
limbs tool'
"Yes, stranger you're right, and l begin
70 feel it IN the back Of my neck and
head"
"Of course you do, and unless you do
something for it. you'll be dead in short
time l assure you. Take my advice, now,
60 back abroad tho boat, swallow down q
gill Of brandy, get into your state room
and cover up with blankets. Stay there
till you perspire freely, then leave here
like lightningi"
Hoosier hurried on board that boat, and
followed Dicks instructions to the letter.
On Monday he was met by gentleman
at Citronelle, to whom he related his won
desful escape from death by yellow fever,
even after preparations were being made
to procuas his coffin. He says he will
never forget the kindness of the tall man
in Mobile who gave HIM such good advice.