The Union. [volume] (Georgetown, Del.) 1863-1866, 1863-10-23
attit, at'isdon!, and 5lumor.


THE WORKMAN AuEAD.HA good story is
told of certain railroad gentleman Of this
city, who is equally renounced for his ability
to make and take IA joke A railroad employee,
whose home is in Avon, come on Saturday
flight to ask for pass down to visit his
flmily.
"You are in the employ of the railroad?"
inquired the gentleman alluded to.
"Yes."
"You receive your pay regularity"
"Yes.o
"Well. Now suppose you were working
for a farmer instead of railroad would you
expect your employer to hitch up his team
every Saturday night and carry you home ?"
This seemed a poser but it wasn't.
"No," said the man promptly, 81 wouldn't
expect that but if the farmer had his team.
hitched up, and was going my way, should
call him darned mean cuss if he wouldn't
let me ride
Mr.. Employee came out three minutes af-
forwards with pass good for twelve months.
Mr.. PnoNNw's SpEEcH.- The superin-
tendent of Sunday school was questioning
his pupils concerning the addresses made to
them during the previous session.
"Children, what did Mr. Phonny tell you
this morning?"
No answer was made''
"Cant any one tell me what he said ?. Su-
sic, can't you remember %
Susie, bright little girl of seven years,
arose, and, with one finger in her mouth,
bashfully lispcd out;
"Pleathe, thir, he talked and he talked,
and he thed ath how he loved uth and he
talked-and-we all thought he wath a-goin'
to thay something, but he did't thay no.
thing"
Those who undertake to address Sabbath
school children without having anything to
say, may learn something from Susie.
An OLD SALT who had been on bender,
had got what tmight be termed sublmely mys-
tilted by his frequent imbibings Of the crit
ter" Staggering along the street. he thought
to 20 to the theater. Following some men
whom he thought bound on the same voyage
he found himself in what he took to be the pit,
but it happened to be a mceting-house; and
the minister was preaching from the text
wherein is mentioned the sheep and goat, and
in order to make an impression upon his con-
gregation, he put the significant question,
''Who would wish to be a goat?" and paused,
and then, with still greater emphasis asked,
''Who will be a goat?" Our tipsy sailor could
not brook the delay, and at once responded,
Gas no body else will be it, I'll be the (hic)
goat, rather (hic) than the play should stop"
A PARAGRAPH has been going the rounds
concerning an old lady who has a moustache
on her lip; to which hateful contemporary
adds that it is not uncommon for young ladies
to have moustaches on their lips, but it is
rarely that they grow there.
A CERTAIN preacher at Appleton, Wis, in
sermon, made the following comparison in
dissecting the miser; "The soul Of miser
is so shriyeled that it would have more room
to play in grain Of mustard seed titan G dwt
(-og mould in Lake Michigan"
PRENTICE laughs at the heading, "Astoun-
ding robbery" which frequently appears IN
connection which some fraud on the Govern
ment. He says he occasionally sees cases OF
astounding honesty, but robbery no longer
astoupds.
CONCERNING the esweetening required mrhu-
barb pies, Pittsfeld lady gives the following
infallible rule: 4" Throw in sugar as long as
your conscience will let you then shut your
eyes and thFsT in one handful more"
A Spanish proverb says; "A little in the
morning is enough enough at dinner is but
little: but little at night is too much.' The
Indian philosopher, equally profound held
that {" too much rum was just enough"
A BACHELOR editor, sensitive in relation to
his rights, objects to taking wife through
fear that if he should have baby his con-
temporaries, who habitually copy without
credit. would refuse to give him credit for it.
A ScorcuMAN asked an Irishman why we've
halfarthings made in England? The reply
was; "To give the Scotchman anopportunity
to subscribe to charitable associations"
"SAY, Sam, bub was inquiring after you."
Sam. g Bub? What bub 2"
Co., - l,o,. -sspnlyehurs' H- .-