The Tipton advertiser. [volume] (Tipton, Cedar Co., Iowa) 1856-1962, 1863-11-19
Upton, IOWA, NOV. 80, 1868.
Josh Billings in the Editors Chair...IFis
Answers to CorresuOndents.

Ered-You aint obliged to ask gals
mother if yu ma 60 home with her from
a par'ee; git the gals endorsement, and
90 in; it is proper enuH TO ask her to take
yure arm, but yu hant got no rite to put
yure arra around her waste, unless yu
meet Bear on the rode, and then yu are
bound to take yure arm away as soon as
the Bear gifts safely by.
Whip-Yu are rite; mules live to a
long age; I've known them myself to
live one hundred years, and not half tri.
Yu are also rite about their being sure
footed; I've known them to kick man
twice in a second, ten feet opb.
Ger'rude-Your inquiry stumps me.
The more | .hink on it, the mere can t
ss,nA tel As soh ReaE Eus as l can rekolek now
both ways, and neither wa be rite. Up
on the whole rather rekon wud, or
wuldeut, jist as thought best or ether.
wise.
Hlutark-Yu'rc mistaken; the Shakers
don't marry, If young Shakers fall in
luv tha are sot to wedding onicns, and it
kures them forthwithIy / kant tell W
now how much it dus koSt to juc the
Shakers, but believe the expenze used
to be, iukIuding having yuro hair cut and
larning how to danse, aboat $G5
Sportsman-Yurc inquiry is not cs-
zactly in mi line, but haste to repli, as
folers, to wit: The rite leogth to cut
oph dogs tail haz never yet been fully
discovered, bet IL undoubtedly some
where bak ov hiz cars, provided you g:t
the dogs consent. n. BIT amt abso-
Iu;ely necessary tae dogs consent should
be in writc:ng.
Kate--l think Lord B;ron was the au
tLor ov the lines yu speak ov; twas Ell
ther him Or twas Capt. Kidd, one or
t,ther. Bircn vaz dredful timber at
ritein potri, SO waz Kidd, and Biron waz
the imbercst.
HE WRITES A STORY.
7 do consider muskeeters
The moste pcsky ov all Gods creeturs.
hav finally ketched it. | have bin
lie lam, led sudden to the slauter, and
had hi blood sucked out ov me, as tho
it was CD y sweet slider, and belonged tn
sobebody else. | am man ov peace,
but, low and belo!d. there amt q piece
in lne but what IL bit and puckered and
tore.
When ,auskeeters whisper in yure ear
The Devils angels are lowering rear.
retired last mite to rest, at tho usual
time, on the left side ov me, and about
feet adjacent waz the side ov the hous, on
the south side ov me. and about 2 feet
adjacent ia mi wife. | dropt tn sleep as
snow fake duz on the buzzum ov a sill
verv Lake. I have a faint idce that
this last scntance, for luvi.nes-, can't be
beat haudy.) dreamed good sized hot
dream.
1t FELT like the breath ov Kauada Thissel.,
Around mi bed .riins tn whsscl.
Suddenly l awoka.
I he room wuz full ov yells and screams
RESPONSIVE. I dashed wildly across the
room. | lit a lite. l harked, one ov my
mo>to reliable harks. Awi wuz still
still az crows nest in the dead ov win
ter. | cazed gaze, az tho waz tripg
tn thrcd the rong end ov kambrik nea-
del. Ava in the distance, soltara, alone
close up tn the ceiling, chawing his cud,
set little gray euss. dipped koarse
towel into basin oy water and wrung it
out. | l;rept up under the little gray
cuss-l TUX aim, and fred,
And hit the spot
Where the little gray cuss had so.
Awl wuz still agin. onlighted the
kardle-aDd sought my couch.
slept agin only as the vartuous sleep.
Soonly, alas. too soonly, tt