The Portland daily press., 1863-06-22
MISCELLANY.

REPARTEE.-The dexterous leap ofthought,
by which the mind escapes from q seemingly
hopeless dilemma, is worth all the vestments
of dignity which the world holds. 1t was this
readiness in repartee which continually saved
Z V6ltaire from social overturn. He once prais-
ed another writer very heartily to third per
son. at is very strange" was the reply,
shat you speak 80 well OF him, for he says
that you are a charlatan." 30" replied Vol
taire, II think it is very likely that both Of US
may be mistaken
Again you must have heard the anecdote
Of the young gentleman who was discours-
ing very dogmatically about the sphere of wo-
man. "And pray, sir" screamed out an old
lady, what Is the appropriate sphere ofwo-
man p "A celestial sphere, madam"
Robert Hall did not lose. his power of re-
tort eveniin madness A hypocritical condo
Ter with his misfortunes once visited him in
the mad house, and said, in a whining tone,
"What brought you here, Mr.. Hall ?" Hall sig
nificartly touched his brow with his finger
and replied, '.What'n never bring you, sir
too much brain r.
Sheridan never was without reason, never
failed to extricate himself In any emergency
by his wit. At country house, where he was
once on visit, an elderly maiden lady desired
to be his companion in walk. He excused
himself at first on the ground of the badness
ofthe weather. She soon afterwards, however,
intercepted him in an attempt to escape with
out her. SWELL" she said, lit has cleared up,
see" "Why, yes" he answered, "it has
cleared up enough for one, but not enough for
ttco.s ss
A rapid change from enthusiasm to noncha-
lance is often necessary Ia society. Thus a
person eulogizing the angelic qualities of Joan
of Are, was suddenly met by the pctulant ques-
ton, "What was-Joan of Arc made OFF "She
was maid Of Orleans"
A Yankee is never upset by astonishment
He walks among the Alps with his hands in
! his pockets, and the smoke Of his cigar is seen
among the mists of Niagara. One of this class
sauntered into the Office Of the lightning tele-
: graph, and asked how long it would take to
transmit message TO Washington. "Ten min
utes" was the reply Il can't wait" was the re-
joinder.
1t was this readiness which made John RAN
dolph so terrible in retort. He was the Their
sites of Congress, a tongue-stabber. No by
perbole Of contempt or scorn could be
launched against him, but he could overtop 1t
: with something more scornful and contemptu-
GUS. Opposition only maddened him Into
more brilliant bitterness. "Isn't it q shame,
Mr.. President said he one day in the Senate,
shat the noble bull dogs of the administra-
ton should be wasting their precious time in
worrying the rats Of the opposition !" Imme-
Ql0ltiy Tic 0tHdtS was III AL uVFOdTs ana ne
was DANGEROUSLY called to order. The presid-
ing officer, however. sustained him; pointing
his long skinny finger at his opponents, Ran
dolph screamed out, Rats, did / say mice,
mice r.
PEDLAR o. QUAKER.--A Yankee Pedlar
travelling in Pennsylvania met Quaker going
TO mill with q pag OF corn.
say mister, what do you ak for your corn
inquired the Yankee. fnY
1t isn't for sale, friend, mildly replied Broad
brim.
But am greatly in need Of corn, just now, as
my mare Is nearly starved, nobody round here
pears willing to trade; thought you Quaker
fellers were chock full Of the milk Of human
Kindness. Now as I've been robbed back
here piece Of all my cash, don't know what
on airth I'm going to do when the mares gin
out. "a sssa 1855. r
n Well, friend, said the shrewd Quaker, II thou
hast anything that can turn to The same ac-
count as my corn, / will trade with thee at a
dollar bushel, but not otherwise.
2 And pray what are you going to do with It
Grind Il, to be sure! said broad brim chuck
ling At the thought that that was poser for
the Pedlar. H
s Wall, III do it on them terms, and you may
empty your corn in my feed box.
And pray, friend, what am | to have in ex-
change for the two bushels ofcorn, that can
turn to the same account?
Oh, you can take your choice; I've got jack
knives at twenty-five cents q piece, razors at
the same price, axes one dollar, and various
other notions; you win find that they can all
be ground TO great advantage. In short you
can grind 'em as often as you please and 1t
wont hurt 'em. fassa
The Quaker was so tickled at the Yankees
wit, that he gave him the corn without furth-
er parley, and took his pay in trade.