The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1863-10-21

Anythings
We notice nearly two columns of "Any
things" in that lively exchange, the Denve,
Commonwealth This paper Ohe TINES
has never taken out Patent for the head
ing, but we insist that it is superior to all
captions for the gathering and condensine
OF all items of news, local or foreign jokes,
fiat or finished; puns, wise or witless; per.
sonalities, pleasant or pungcnt why,
don't you see you can put anything in this
column and it corresponds with the cap.
ton? 1t pleases us to see one of our ia.
vcrites coming into use in sevcrafexchanges.
We would not give the heading for "Ecery.
thing" You observe that this notice is an
anything; you can make nothing else out
of it. go. There are fifteen thousand law.
yers in England. Lord help the clients
....A whale about three feet long was re-.
Gently captured by party Of young ladies
who were bathing on the English coast
The girls were probably after his bones :. Z. i. :.
Gen. Heron lost only 400 men (not 1900
on the Atchatalaya river, La. This is bad
enough but it was reported much worse.
The General is north somewhere now. =.
There will be six Generals in the next Con.
gress: Blair, Garfield, Dumont, Smith, Of
KY, and Ben F. Loan, of Mo. Oh, But.
tons Go to Congress while the enemy is
fcrnenst We, hey -. Coal in large quanti-
ties has been discovered in Colorado.
little boy swore. An older child told
mother ABOUT it. She pityingly said,
"Poor little bub he won't have any wings
in Heaven" In a few days the little fel-
low heard his father swear; running has.
tily to his ma he cried out triumphanty,
"Ah, ha Pa won't have any wings cither!"
Count Gurcwski has been acquitted of
the charge Of violating the confidence of the
State Department at Washington. .. "Thc
Yale students have boat so nicely balanced
that the rowers have to part their hair in
the middle to hold the craft level" 1t
ought to be called "The Fremont.
Frank Blair in his late St. Louis speech
SAID Jim Lane was meaner man than
Quantrel, the Lawrence raider, and much
greater coward. The editors of the Bal
timore Republican have been sent beyond
the lines for publishing beautifully writ
ten parody on 1.-THE Star Spangled Ban
ner.' The song is called 1.-The Southern
Cross" It's commendatory of the rebels
up to the handle, and much as we dislike
abolition policy we are pleased to see this
summary method Of cleaning out FOOLS
Greedy ought to have been sent to Congo
when he published Gan Hail the Haunting
Lie!" We think it quite merciful in the
Government to send men where they evi.
IDENTITY wish to be.....An army writer
from La, speaks Of dozens of little doubt
full blooded children down thar, who arc
dressed simply in short shirt. Address
ing one of these coffee-colorcd chaps, he
said: Sonny, where's youy trowsers ~
II don't wear trousers! I'm a gal, sab ~
was the reply. 80. L is the happiest of the
vowcls, because it is in the center of bliss,
while e. is in hell, and all the rest are in
purgatory. .Foit Sump,cr is 50 miles
from Charleston, ! from Moultrie, I of a
mile from the nearest land, II from John
son, and % miles from Castle Pinckney.
-. Counterfeit 5s on the Council Bluff
Branch Bank are in circulation at Dubuque.
The words are run together like this:
"Councilbluffs." The Dubuque Herald
says man named Smith, while drunk in
that city exposed his person to little girl,
and on complaint was fined five dollars
He should have paid Fifty and then been
required to acade across the river. 1T is
said by correspondents Of northern jour.
nails that the Confederate cause is failing
rapidly in France. This may be true but
we have always thought that both England
and France desire our separation and that
they will be 10th to give up the opportuni-
ty they can now use to effect it. We think
Englands late profession Of friendship for
the North is CANNON of the same sort she
has been using automatically from the be-
ginning. .......-
.