The Placer herald., 1863-11-21
HOW SIuPKINS AVOIDED THE EN-
ROLLING OEEICEK.


Simpk ins is al bit of politician; he affili
ates with the radical school, and talks in
favor of carrying the war to a successful end;
he is ready to aquiesce in all the measures
adopted by the Government for the suppress
sion of the rebellion; he is even ready to 90
IN for the conscription. provided the people
won't volunteer and for the life of him he
can't see why they don't rally round the
flag. He would 90 in minute, if his bus,
mess did not require his presence at home;
but there were so many who could just as
we'll as not, and he thought the cowardly fe.
lows ought to be drafted if they would not
enlist. 1t was in such manner that Simp-
kins talked until he heard that the Govern
ment had directed the militia to be enrolled
in California Then a change came over his
spirit, and he couldn't see why California, so
far from the scene of strife, should be
called upon to furnish her complement of sol
diers. But let us tell how Simpkins evaded
the enrolling officer. He was the owner of
avery valuable mining claim near Mokelumne
Hill and being fearful of leaving it, he trans
ferred it to a friend-a loyal man, who did
not fear to take his chance in Uncle Abe's lot
terry; he made regular bill, and in consid-
GRAFTON of mere nominal SUN, he decided
his claim, with the private understanding
that he was to have it returned to him on his
return. All things being in readiness, he
started for San Francisco, with the intention
of having a good time until the enrolling
officer had completed his task, when he
would return and resume the management
of his mines. Bidding adieu to his friends,
he told them that he was going to the States,
for the purpose of entering the army, and
started for this city. Shortly after he START
ed he met a ytarer on the road and with
that familiarity which is peculiar charac
teristlc of Calitornians, were soon on terms of
intimacy with him. As the friendship grew
older, it was cemen:ed by numerous visits to
the gentleman who keeps smiles for SALE
After several drinks, Simpkins became com
municative, and informed his new friend of
his ruse to escape the enrolling officer, add
ing by way of excuse. "You know, my dear
fellow, all things are fair in love and war"
THAT is true" replied his friend, "and hon
or you for saying SO. 1t is an excellent
joke, and shall tell my friends about it; but,
by the way, you haven't told me your name;
you know these Jokes sound better when one
can tell who the originator of them is."-
"You're right, my boy, and will tell you.
am Jonathan Simpkins; you won't forget
it, will you!" "For fear that | should | will
write it down." and diving into carpetsack
he pulled out suspicious looking book and
commenced writing "Now, how old are
you, Mr.. Simpkins!" he asked after he had
written down his name. "What the deuce
do yo want to know my age fora" because,
am happy to inform you, Mr.. Simpkins,
am the enrolling officer for your district, and
fearful you may not be at home when call,
| will take your name now" Simpkins'
face elongated, and he declared that his new
found friend had taken undue advantage of
him. at may be So" was the reply, "but
you must recollect that all things are fair in
love and war" Simpkins, finding that he
was caught, concluded that be would not visit
the city, he accordingly TUNED around and
returned to his home, only to find that his
friend refused to surrender to him the
claim, preferring to treat the sale as valid
one. He now talks of commencing suit to
recover the property. $. +. CaW
PRoGREss OF TIE WESTERN Pacific RAIL
RoAD.-The cars will run to within ten miles
of San Jose to day, connecting with the
stages at Mountain View, which is four miles
beyond Mayfield, the late stopping place.
tn,, t,,, a.