davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24
REetlical F.scts,

Merchants generally die Of the bill
liouS, priuterssof the typus, and. brokers
of the remittent fever. -
Masons usually go off with stone,
gravel or dropsy. i
Brewers are constantly ailing. p
Glaciers are never without pains.
Most tailors leave the world in fits
though their customers rarely do. II
The children Of coopers are never free
from the hopping cough. .rs
Lovers have. .palpitation of the heart
0urcongregational orators are nevel
troubled with shortness of breath, al
though with them fatulence is not un
common. .a'
Dyers aresubjcct to the blue and scar
let fever, and'cIoaksmakers to the die
doloreux. agot ~ AE q
The kings evilis not known in thi'
country, and is becoming rare even il
Europe. 4 o. lEl
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24
IN Don't Like My Business"

There is no greater fallacy in the
world than that entertained by many
young men that some pursuit in life can
be be found wholly suited to their tastes,
and fancles. This philosophers stone
can never be discovered, and every one
who makes his life a search for it will be
ruined. Much truth is contained in the
Irishman's remark: "It is never aisy to
work hard, Let, therefore, the fact be
always remembered by the young, that
no life work can be found entirely agree.
able to man. Success always lies at the
top Of q hill; if we would reach it, we
can do so by hard persevering effort,
while beset with difficulties of fevery kind.
Genius counts nothing in the battle Of
life; determined, obstinate, perseverance
in one single channel is everything =
Hence, should any one of our young
readers be debating in his mind change
of business, imagining he has genius
for some other, let him at once dismiss
the thought as he would temptation
to do evil. Ifyou think you madeia mis-.
take in choosing the pursuit or profes.
sion you did, don't make another by
leaving it.. Spend all your energies in
working for and clinging to it, as you
would to the life-boat that sustained you
in the midst of the ocean. If you leave
it, it is almost certain that you will go
down; buti you cling to it, informing
yourself about it until you are its mas
ter, bending your every energy to the
work, success is certain. Good, hard
honest effort, steadily perSevered in, viii
make your love for your business or pro
fesSion grow; snceno one should expect
to reacha period when he can feel that
his life work is just the one he could have
done best and would have liked best
We are allowed to see and feel the rough
ness in our own pathway, but none in
others; yet all Have th en- Hunts
Merchants Magazine. - 37'~,
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24

CHANCES OF DEATH IN WAR.--General
Rosecrans, in his report of the battle of
Murfrees, estimates that of20, 900 rounds
of artillery, fred by the Unionists, 128
hit the enemy, and of 100000 rounds
of musketry, 1882 were effectual. This
would show that 81 cannon shots, or l55
musket shots, were required to hit one
man.. Averaging the latter at one ounce
each, the weight of metal required in
bringing down an enemy would be 8
pounds, while Of the former it would re-
quire about 225 pounds, or one and a
half the weight Of the human body. As
however, the proportion killed or dying
from wounds would be only about one.
fourth Of the number put hors du combat
the figures given above must be increas-
ed to the same degree. 1t will readily
be seen how much more destruction is
dealt by the musket thanthe loud-mouth-
ed caunon, when firing either round shot
or shell. . b Nh q,.
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24
Progress of Refinement.

The height of perfection to which
language is now carried, is perfectly ex-
cruciating. Nobody but pauper is
now buried in coffin, everybody that is
anybody is inferred in q casket. We
have no longer any meeting. houses; they
have all been trausmorgrifedinto church
edifces. Nobody now has cough
brought on by getting wet and cold, but
great many people, as the worthy who
wished to be elegant, said of her hus-
band, are" "suffsrin' very bad with bon
chrisches, which were superinduced by
excessive exposure" Nothing is now
begun, but all sorts of things are in.
augurated, while rogues no longer com.
nit theft, but conSummate their de-
pedations. Nobody's house is burnt
down now. a.days, but occasionally res.
idence is destroyed by the devo~inS
elements. Who wifi say this is not an
age of progress and refinement"
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24
aizinr Aid and. Comfort . the Rebels

Giving Aid and Comfort 70 the Rebels.
On the t4th of Januaryi lS4S, Mr.
Lincoln. delivered, in the HSuSe OF Rep
resentatives, a speech, whicHwaS printed
by J. & Gs s., Gideon, of i Us city, and
was circulated by him among his friends
and constituents, under his frank, which
contains the following, the Italies In
which are his:
.rAny, people, anywhere, beiuginchned
and having the power, have the rfghtto
rise up and shake off the existing govern
ment, and from new one that suits them
better This is O. most valuable, Almost
sacred right, which we hope and believe
is to liberate the world at Nor is this
right confined to cases in, which the
whole people, of. an existingagovernment
may choose to exercise it. Any portion
Of such people that can, may revolu-
tlonize, and make their oaoa of so much
of the territory as they inhabit. More
than this; q majority of any portion OF
such people may reVolutionize, putting
downsa minority, intermiDgled With, or
near about them, who may oppose their
movements Such minority was precise
ly the case of the tories of our Reyolu-
tion. II is q quality of revolltionsqnot
togo by old lines, or old laws, but to
break up both and make new ones"
4This'is theprecise doctrine Of the se'
cessiouists, which they urge in theirjus'
tifcation at home and abroad, It gives
them aid and comfort because it emana'
ted from the now head of the Federal
Government, although, If now uttered
by one not a supporter Of the Admins
tration, he would be sent to Fort Lafay.
ette or Fort Warren as criminal. He
makes no exception, however wicked and
unjustifable the rebellion may be. He
makes everything depend upon the will
and the power Of the rebels, and ther
pronouces it fright" This is justlfyine
treason and rebellion, against the SENSE
and feeling of men in the whole loya
States, and to which we can not give oul
assent, either, as matter OF principle Oh
policy. Constitutional Union.
H.
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24
Hard Tinnes in Arkansas.

"My dear madam, can you give me a
glass Of grog?" asked fatigued travel.
er in Arkansas, as he entered cabin on
the roadside.
y II amt got a drop, stranger replied
the woman.
"But o gentleman told me that you
had barrel"
"Why, good gracious!" replied the
woman, "what do you reckon one barrel
of whisky is to me and my children,
when we are out of milk2"
The traveller sloped.
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24
The Way Anew Years. Call is
Made.

ScENB-Splsndidly furnished parlor.
Old lady looking st the deaths and mar,
riages, Graceful girl looking out Of the
window her beautiful form half conceal-
ed by the dyapery Back room with ia
bic glittering with china and cut glass.
among which are ornamental stacks Of
chicken salad. long white sticks of cel-
cry, while the long necks Of several bot
ties erect themselves in close contiguity
to o silver coffee urn, in which the coffee
lis heard Kissing, Spasmodic ring Of the
door bell, Enter two young men, follow
led by another, who convuIsiyeIy eDdeav-
offs to extricate his neck from large
shawl. His efforts are futile. He. sits
down, very red and embarrassed. -
1st Young Mvn, Al How-do-
Mrs, a,-7 y !, and my dear Miss Wis J = :,
9nd Young Man. -Ah,t How-dee
doc! (pause,) SO
*s v (keeps on pausing)
Z. Young Lady. Fine day -
stapd I'd Young Gentlemen. .-Yes'n
fine day., .,'g,9 g 81 Ho- sa7 y -
Sd Young Gentleman, coming sud
denly to his senses, ejaculateS-'App.
New Years IN, --.
/ Old Lady.-Won't you have some re
| freshments2 ~ stef r..
General adjournment to the bac
room--Gurgle-gurgle-gurgle Y
| = gurgle X = gurgl
1* y gurgle
Parties shuttle back to The front room
and the coffee is heard to hiSS.
Young Lady-Think, we shall haV
snow2 5 e..
1st Young Gentleman. We'll, it doe
look like 1t, CERTAINLY Y sEg7 ~
Young Lady But you've had fin
Weathers so far Hs8 ne
u2nds Young Gentleman. .--Y Yes'm--
hope ladies, will be- ssqunlly favored.
An the Young Gents. . Good byesI
New YeW Yeassa--a athonsand Of ,er
It,1nIn--going TO --,, Slam-4bang+
Ijingle+-and thus commences and con
cludes alfashinable New Years call. !
" d
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24
Hartford in 17S6.

The following jea d'esprit is from the
columns of the Hartford Mercury, Of Ju-
ly 10th, 1856. They we're deadly live
ly," those old follows;
q Sally doth solitude admire,
D., Awondreus lover Of the dark;
Each night puts out her chamber FIRE,
And just keeps in a single SPARE.
Till four, she keeps her soul alive,
Warmed by her piety, no doubt;
Then, tired with kneeling, just at five,
She sighs, and lets thatspark go out
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24

A LADY who was alarmed at the small
quantity Of cotton she obtained for o
6vedollar greenback, recently expressed
her fears that the time might come when
she should say-"John load the wheel
barrow with greenbacks and go buy q
ham w Ny rl.ll --H 81
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24
CAPABILITIES OF HUMAN STRENa1

CAPABnIITIEs OF HUMAN STRENGTH,
DIR. WinShip has now-acquired q lift
ing power Of over twenty-five hundred
pounds. His remarkable apparatus is
in his Office, No. l Park street, Boston,
where it may be seen by the curious. =
1t is on record that one Richard Joy,
Of Kent, England, in the year 1903, sue
ceeded in lifting q weight of twenty-five
hundred. DR.. Winship,, has surpassed
this by three hundred, and, finding his
strength increasing in, an ,undiminished
ratio, is still confident Of reaching, with
in reasonable time, his uItimatum Of
three Thousand p6nnds.u His motisoin
in carrying physical development to this
extreme. is purely scientific bpt he has
not yet, we believe, recommended any
one to be In this respect his imitator.
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24

PooR PUssy!--It is, remarkable that,
although the, ancient monuments Of the
Egyptians contain many painted figures
Of cats very similar to the Syrian exam
pies now in the Geological Gardens lion.
don), the cat is nowhere mentioned in
the canonical books Of the Bible as q
domestic animal, M n
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24
Tnr editor Of lhe NewBedford Stand

The editor of the New Bedford Stand
ard says that be lately discovered lin an
old drawer which had not been opened
for years, a remarkable silver coin,which
had on one side a head with the word
Liberty, surrounded by thirteen stars,
and the date 1929 On the opposite
side was an eagle, with the motto "E
Pluribus Unum," the words "United
States of America" and the figures
.lOc,uW .s ..-...
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24
Republican majority so far, l3.
The following States yet remain t

hepuDllcah ulaJorlty so i"i' TO- ,...
The following States yet remain to
elect: - -
California, .l .-. ~ 8
Kentucky, . 'g,. .
Maryland, +
Western Virginia, 3
1t is present evident that the border
slave State men will hold the balance of
power in the House, and that no ex-
treme Abolition measure will be enabled
to pass. .i: #
n But what can the House do? All the
appropriations have been made for two
years ahead, under the Constitution. =
BY that time its own existence will ex-
pire ! 1t can repeal no laws, because
the President and the United States Sen
ate are against it. 1t can debate ma
tional questions, and that is'abont all
it can do, so far as We are able to seek
Gin, Eng. G j, 49, .ftl gsa
Sword Presentation to Lieut.. T..
w. Collier, Jr., Of the sOth.
By letter from. Lieut. Farmer, OF the
S0th, to the Coshocton Age, we learn
that Company F, Of that Regt, has pre-
sented splendid sword to our young
friend and fellow typo, Lieut.. II. W.
lCoIIIER, il. Now, we'll venture to say
that "Will" richly deserves this present.
His qualifications and abilities as sol
disr are not to be questioned! The pre-.
,Sentation was made.iby Ool. Bartilsoh,
accompanied by . little speech, which
.Yeappend, with Lieut., Collins response;
Lieut. Collier;--In behalf Of the
Company to woich you belong, ] present
you with this sbeautiful.s sword. Itiis an
expression Of their esteem for you as Q
commander, of their admiration foryoul
high soldierly qualities. Take, then
this token of their regard, and may Its
spossession strengthen youito endure the
.hsrdsbips, to overcome the obstacles thai
ever beset q soldiers life. a5T
ag.Lieut. Collier responded as follows:
AMY Gshtlehien and FSllotb SoldSers.:--]
thank you for this beautiful testimonial
soffespect 1t is not because of its grea
beauty and its value alone that | appre
,aCiate IT, but that my long. aud intimate
association with you in the camp, Of
the march, and the different battles ii
which it has been onr fortune to engage
have won for me your esteem and conf
depce. tits a priceless boon to me, fel
low soldiers and comrades in arms t
have merited the good will.of the brave
who stood up and faced the iron bail o
the bloody fields Of ITqkks| q kk!s| and Qoriptht
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24

a WESTERN wag says :-"Gen. Blunps
strategy isin threeparts. First, finding
where the enemy are; second, immediate.
", sending a bombshell at them; third,
going to SEQ where II strnck.ll N
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24

L GENERAL McOiELIAN, with, Mrs.
Marcy and daughter, Qthe Generals
mother.ii.law and sister.in-law)s formal
" connected themselves with Rev. Mr..
iAdains' presbyterian Church, Madison
square, New York. on Sunday last. ati +
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24

A New ORDER. Some time ago, a
captain upon bringing his company out
for dress parade, happened TO- march the
men spastl the guides, In order to get
them into line, he gave the. command
Fright dressward baek2a He has not
tbeenipromoted yet4o;& 5hI tssllb "a
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24
ode 70 TobaCcEo..

The Hartford Times is responsible fol
the following Owed to Terhacker:
"My friend in colitood, 5
Thi prsze cling, T s4,sons
Ov Of the multitooG, n 40
You air the thing. 49, ..ss i,ps
When ] am desperit, ,,3sm
And soar deprest, NJ, VI
\ Ichaw yourleaf and spit,
And cink to rest. ,s,4
No moar erth's mizeriz M
/, Mi sole annoiz, if,9
4 But 81 my smilin hz ,.
Shows forth my joiz5 /.
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24
sNoWsoN THIS.

A few weeks ago, six hundred sick
and wounded soldiers-noblel fellows,
who had fought and were mangled at
Murfreesboro'- sent up to st.
Louis in charge of the Government. -
Their wounds were not dressed, and their
agonies we're not mitigated by the atten.
tion of surgeons. For forty-eight hours
they had neither food nor medicine and
scores of them died from starvation and
neglect. "f%
When we make publication of this, dc
we oppose the Government? or only Q
bad Administration of the Government
Wayne County Democrct.
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24
Coat OF wan Ion Old Abe.

The coat,ofgmail sent by the Tycoon
of Japan to President Lincoln is de.
scribed as unique. An unbrslIa like
helmet, made Of fabricated sheets eof
steel and copper, shields the head, while
a vandyke Of interviewer silk cord and
acquered network falls gracefully upon
the shoulders. The outside of the hel.
met is profGsely ornamented with chris
anthimumus of gold, in beautiful open
work, upon black lacquer, with now and
then trimming of purest silver. The
vizer is Of copper, lacquered in scarlet
and brown. The armlets are of the fin
est copper chain-work. The breast-plate
is Of copper, 'interseeted with parallel
strips Of lacquer and woven together
with delicate wire and golden cord. A
short kilt accompanies the armor, and
armor, and with lacquered leggings,
grotesquely formed, completes the set.
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24
lThe crisis OF the war.

I ,fhe Richmond Examiner of the 9th
inst, says ~ g. 9sl ,
ir7eIn the course of the month of June
thecampaign and the war willculminate.
If we come ont of that month defeated
the North will be forced on terrible
measures to preserveit itself If we come
out victorious, than the war will be sub
stantially over, as the federal troops can
notoperate in the South after that time
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24

The Rev. Mr.. Peters, of Tennessee,
was preaching, and, having gift Of con-
tinuance, was somewhat protacted in his
discourse. Several of hishearers left in
the sermon. One young man was on his
way to the door when Mr.. Peters point
ed hislohg fingers at him and said -
Brethren, that young man has just as
good fright to go out as any one It
is needless to say that he was the last
.deserter. gy
At another time while Mr.. Peters was
preaching, young man started leave
the house, and making some noise as he
went, Mr. Peters paused, audisaid -
i will fnishmy discourse when that
man gets out. As hes s5ai6 !
The fellow very eoolly took his seat
and said: o Z i5ssgos gSsas JE
: Then it will be some time befotesyoi
get through ,g5~..2',4 n,sf,'
The. preacher, however, was upto him,
and remarking: .a.f.. ... ID. l,s9.. 4 az d.
"a bad promise is better broken thar
kept, and went on with his sermon. q 81,
The following is attributed to the eel
ebrated Roland Hill. -r4.i, q
Two strangers passing the church il
which he was preaching, entered, walkeC
up the isle, and finding no seat stood fol
a while and listened to the Sermon
Presently they turned to walk ont. Be
fore they reached the, door the; preacher
said: ... -..,..-.
But I will tell you a story
This arrested the strangers; and the.
paused, turned again, and listened. Their
was man. said the speaker, who saiC
that if he had all the axes in the worl(
made into one great axe, and oil tht
trees in the world made one great tree
and he could WELD the axe and cut dow
the tree, be would make it into on,
Gospel, aud d.stop to hear story
The stfahgets thought they had heart
enough 10 satisfy their curiosity, alt
resumed their walk in thestreets 4. &
FssEH ..N. p
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24

MRS PRRsDENT LINCOLN slept in Q
tent when she visited Hooker's camp
"A letter1writer dilating upon the fact,
andgthat she attacked her rations vigor.
ously the next morning, says the circum.
stances will have an excellent effect upon
the soldiers ! tagh,.s1 ad3
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24
The Difference Between White
Soldiers and Negroes.
LOOK ON THIS PICTURE.

A few days ago five hundred negroes
arrived at st. Louis, from Helena, Ar
. kansas, in care of the Government. They
had abundance Of provisions on board
surgeons and aOaiters.
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24

Us THE wines Of ex.President Tyler, late
ly sold at auction, brought prodigious
prices in Confederate rags. Rhenish
Wines sold for $lO'per bottle; old Sau
terne, Min Duquensuc, $M /; Begalia
Madeira, $l9; Oeylon Madeira, $3.50;
Madeira, Exploring Expedition, $l6.75;
Sherry, SIS; Old Port, 1875; French
Brandy, very old, sos to $lOo peri gallon,
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24

II DON'T remember having seen you
before, "as the lawyer said to his con-
science. Nes.a ~
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24

/ Ii it takes nine tailors to make q man..
how many sailors does it take to make
buoy2 -s ~
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24

1slIS laals9a aoti93 teainl7s o em9G
.y7odigi TOi doi9maJ
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24

A MACHINE has been invented which.
is to be driven by the force Of circam-
stances. e4 -4#sV ts'g1l
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24

VS. eia nSao tna ,GsAaslss sslasissisa
boliiNeEa
The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-04-24

The newest styleof gaitsrboot The
alligator boot, and very scaly style
1T is. AsF ll -
Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1863-06-28
General Milroy on Rebels in Front and
Traitors in Rear.

The distinsushsd General MnRoY made q
speech not long since in Indiana, in which be
said:
II is true that IL 10 the business Of our soldiers
to fght-to meet the common enemy. Bot they
see an enemy in their rear, as we'll as an enemy
IN their front-rebels before, traitors behind
them. They will fight the rebels with arms in
their hands, and they give 10 the traitors behind
Q warning. The voice of the soldiers from the
renowned field Of MuFfreesboro has sent thrill
of terror to the hearts of those home traitors.
That voice Of our soldiers 10 easily interpreted.
Il says to these traitors: Just now, our hands
are full with the foe before US; by and by We
will attend to You.
After such expressions as the above, It was to
be expected, as 1t has turned out, that the val
orous MILRoY would soon &c. through with bis
little job of fighting the enemy in 'front.' 1t is
not of such stuff that Generals are made who
will obstinately persist in keeping the enemy
ct bay or overcoming him at all hazards. Con.
sequently, the prudent MILRoY saved his own
bacon, but let his men fall into the hands Of the
enemy with hardly an effort to prevent the dis
aster. ~g
What will he do now Having tried and
failed before the rebels In front, perhaps he is
thirating to try his hand upon those he calls
"traltors In the rear" The difficulty with the
former Is that they fight "with arms In their
hands," and 30 he finds them ugly customers to
deal with. But he would no doubt find himself
In bis proper element, If he could only be per-
mitted to make war upon unarmed citizens In
Ohio and other Western States, who differ with
him and his Abolition friends as to the true
mode of conducting the war and restoring the
Union.