The Xenia sentinel. [volume] (Xenia [Ohio]) 1863-186?, 1863-08-25

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! old faith infO my heart, and carry II with M
down into nv life, as we carry lanterns Of darl
nights. The wise faith the foolish old EOrl'
prSnoances Ferdant. If ! we're an artist, an
wished to paint a lesson originating in the high
est principle of art, would choose for my sub
ject the lttle Child seated in the midst Of thi
disciples, and the full consciousness that the
must uElearn much thlt they accounted wisdom
should dawn in the eager expression Of e2el
face.
In that day was totally unaequainted viii
falsehOOd to that degree / believed Ann in al
things no matter how enormous the absurdity o.
what she told and 7 DO not blush to aeknoEl
edge this 70 YOU. vas confident a little CIR
had lived who was endowed With facility fol
making lark-like tours. / coveted the posses
sion Of the privilege enjoyed by the birds
/ loved. dreamed Of her. / awakened TO muse
upon her In nv dreams she tantalised me BY
flying of lust as I had approached near enough
to venture to satisfy my curiosity as 10 her in
visible means; and, waking, I was provoked
I that h.. seen near her but in q dream. So
/ the night passed in unsatisfactory dreams and
( disagreeable aWakenings. ! vas silent and
moody al through the makingof my toilet
was motionless and speechless during the curling
1 operation, pull my hair never 50 hard, as Ann
/ would 70 overcome uumberless tangles that ob
( 5tructed the passage Of the comb through my
/ long, thick hair. If / remember rightly. my
I beauty layin my hair, as did Simpsons strength
4 in his, and the dressing Of that hair was AIMS
Z mama. have a vivid recollection Of standing
4 al the head Of the winding stairs, where Ann
/ and parted company, she returning 70 ny room
I to put it in order. had not any definite OBJ
iect IN view in lettering there; BUTT occurred to
me az she closed the door, that II one little
Z girl could ". so could another As a child,
was rash and inrpulsive. Ny girlish cousins al
I ways Stunned me, as they would a great boy,
and the boys chose me for their play y-felloW, for
excelled in their sports. / did not care for
/ girls PLAYS. I had an antpathy for dolls. I
once traded of a new wax doll to ms cousin
Charley Brown for few comics piasters and
crystals, because his little sister cried for it.
never knew fear in those days. With me, to
conceive an idea Of performing any feat was to
put that idea INTO execution Immediately. /
would fy down those stairs. Ny arms should
serve me for wings. shut my eyes; I spread
out my arms; sprang up and drew my feet up,
and in endeavoring to keep this fOundatOnless
position in air, fell headIong. Thus my first
aspiration was rudely Hipped in the bud. have
q pleasant reminisCence of g dRrkened room
and a pale, sweet face, with blue eyes, bending
above me when I aWoke. Then / slept again, and
woke to hear my father say: "Ihank God she
is not q cripple and our old family physician
make some low remark. Ann was croaching at
the foot of the bed CRYING for me- who had
been 80 unkind TO her-and / wanted 70 call her
to me; but I was very weak Then l thought
may be / would die. Then a great fear over
took me. / had never associated death with nay
idea Of God. There was no connection between
tie bountiful hand that bestowed life and the
graspng one which deprived. In my then com
parative innocence / loved God Ny mother
told me God himself was Love. Inthe songs Of
birds, and in the beauty Of flowers, and in any
thing that made my heart exceedingly glad, /
acknowledged God had a dread OF death.
never regarded it as gate through which the
soul passed up to God. Il was rather, to my
childish Imagination, an eternal separation from
him. was wont to tease my mother and her
visitors BY perpetually asking them to explain
about the soHi; but / never eOmpEehended their
best and most patient endeavOrs to do So Now
] feared to solve this problem myself. God
heard the prayers of those who loved me, and
from the brink Of the grave restored me to
them. After my C0nvalescence, there was an
uhevsntful time-a season Of uninterrupted
happness-a calm before a storm.
It was fearful storm that broke over US; the |
more fearful that We we're in the full enjoyment
Of the sunshine Of yesterday, and SO unprepared
to meet the cold. dark desolatiOn Of our wreck
to-day. Ny father had been absent from home
on business. ia his last letter he wrote, "Look !
for me home, stating the period Of his ex-
peeted arrival We counted the days. twas
autumn-the years twilight. Summer was dy- |
ing far over the hills, and the earth was wearing
a bright face as 50. many human beings, when /
uneonseiously approaching a sure desolation. |
We gathered around the early fires, and my
mother would take me on her lap and strain me /
TO her heart, and we talked Of him. At length 1
the day came. It was a day to- be set down in
ones memory, coming in so suddenly amid the /
early dark days, so golden IN sunshine, so ripe /
in beauty, that i was like a letter from the
springtime, and the very heart Of Nature was
gladdened, and her face frightened by it. I
wandered through the house in great unrest.
NV mothers eyes ever turned toward the win /
dow; but she strove to cheek my impatience. |
The gorgeous sunset Knocked my heavy heart. |
All through the gray, cold twilight I stood at
our gate Once a carriage drove up to our
very curb. Eager and almost breathless, |
sprang to the unopened door. Cold, strange /
eyes looked inquringly at me, and the voice Of
a foreigner inquired for a number on the next
square. At last the house lamps were lit. and |
being no longer able to endure this first bitter
disappointment, / ran up the long walk into the
lighted hall and into the library, where my
mother sat in the freight, with her face resting
in her hands. Something in her attitude ar
rested me. l never saw her sitting in that |
position IN after years but / was reminded of
this night. I had been crying to myself in that
little run; but az the sight Of the pale face she
raised and turned toward me- instnctiTely
checked myself Drawing an ottoman to her
side, / crouched upon it and laid my head in
her lap. We were silent at first; all the while
her hand passed to and fro through my long
curls, and there was such mesmeric power in
the loving touch I was soOthed and suddenly
hope sprang in nv heart, and I exclaimed,
There to- morrow mamma he will surely
come to-uorrow. And she said YES, dear, !"
softly, and bent low over me and kissed me.
We had our tea in the library marveled,
silently, because there we're fresh bOquets on
the mantels of the dining-rOOm, and the table
was set IN state, and fathers napkin ring was
laid again; but the thought came to me after
ward Why my mother had not the heart to sup
there that night. ] sat up far beyond my usual
hour for retiring. Ny mother told me amusing
and instructive stories until / was quite happy
again, and had forgotten why it was We fingered
in the library so late. / thought she was happy
because she smiled.
was awakened through the night, but she
was always sitting at my bedside; and when the
new day was dawning in the east, and he early
light stole through the crimson curtains Of the
great windows, she was there still to smile
upon me What a day and night that had been
to her! think she knew it already. ! think
the black-seaIei letter which Charley Browns
father brought later in the day, only assured
her. Ny father had fallen a victim 20 the fear
ful epidemic which ragged in New 0deans, and
died week from the time he had last written.
/ cannot dwell upon this.
Ny fathers people were sorely incensed
1 against my mother, she being the daughter Of
/ clergyman and they Of the Roman Catholic
/ faith. Her own father closed the doors against
/ her because she had married out of the church.
/ Uncle Charles was the only one Of that house
/ hold who countenanced her; but he had sinister
motives. He became her adviser. It appears
my fathers affairs we're dreadfully complicated
and mixed up. did not understand then how