, 1863-06-25
ArIanallanaous Items.


dea1x, picked up in front of the Chicago
postoiice, will show:
MV DEAR SwEEr DIcEY.-I am so happy
to hear frOm you 50 often. it atfnrds me sich
great plesher. You always 50 deal to me,
hope you will s1nn he dearer.
You know that ! never hinted nothing
about marriage and never mean to-take
your own time for that. shall always re.
member the old saying procrastnation is the
thief of time, but mother says nothing
should be done in hurry, except ketchin
Gees.
The fondest wish Of my heart is that we
may soon become one. Did you read
Franklln's extracts-his remarks concerning
is delightful. Our harts he sez ought to as
semble one in another in every respect they
ought to be heterogenius so that our union
may bs mixed as vel rs uuiting-not like
oil and water, but like tea and shugar. Truly
I can ieel for the mortal when he sez-
The rows Is red the vilsts blew
Shugar's sweet and 90 are you.
Mother ays matrimony Is better to think
on than the reality.
Iremane till deth or marriage, your own
candy. MARY ANN.
P.S. hope you will let me know what
you meen 10 do as there is four or FIVE fel
lows after me hot foot, and shall be quite
oneasy till l heer. Your loving sweet.
MARY Avn.
N. B. Ihad cuzzin married last monih
who sez there aint no true enjoyment but in
the married state. -
The Buffalo correspondent Of the Roches.
Ter 1Smss says hitherto swell regulated
family" in the formercity were considerably
disturbed some nights since by q little Incl
dent which il relates as follows;
SOne morning the servant girl, who, by
the way. is very good.looking, informed heI
mistress that she must leave her service
On being questioned as TO the reason, she
after some hesitation, amid tears and sobs,
confessed that her master was In the habit
Of visiting her room at night by craving
through window previous TO his appearance
in his wiie's apartment The lady, after
some deliberation, informed the girl that
she need not leave on that account but In
the evening she would change rooms with
her, and read the offending husband lecture
on broken marriage vows that would be
likely 70 last him the remainder Of bis nat.
ural existence. When the hour Of retiring
came she placed the girl in her own bed and
snugly ensconced herself in the girls, and
when ell was still. as she anticipated, the
window uss cautiously raised and The man
entered the room, and, quietly disrobing
himself got quietly into bed, and after .
while a. quietly arose and commenced don
ming his attire. At this stage Of the pro.
ceedings the lady, who had mot spoken q
word, cody reached out Of bed, and with q
match III the gas, when to her horror and
CONSERVATION The man was not her husband,
but one Of the young men boaFdersl That
his surprise equalled hers Is judged from the
fact that be seized the balance q bis clothing
and instantly left for parts unknown"
Recorder TO Prisuusr1; aHOw do you
livei"
Prisoner: = I ain't particular, ss the oy
stsr aid when they asked II he'd be rOa Ted
or fried"
Recorder We don't want 70 hear vhai
the oyster aid. What do you follow r.
Prisoner; Anything that comes in m,
way. as the locomotive said when il ran oyeI
Z man." lqs7f' ~ "a
Recorder. sYonr business7"
Prisoner. aThat's vari0us, as the cat sdiC
when she stole the chicken"
Recordrr: @Thnt comes nearer 70 III
line. snpposer fas.+ -
Prisoner. aAltageiher in my line, as III
rope aid when choking the pirate.H a
Recorder: II ! hear any more comparI
sons will give you twelve months.r
Prisoner: q I'm done, - the besfsteal
said 70 the cook."
surgpon-s What's the matter with you Z
Would Be Exenpt--H Weak back, air.
very weak back." !" = 4 - ~ - -
So Weak knees, you mean"
w. Yes, sir. weak knees-very veal
knees, can't march. "a1 His zgfi
e.-SYes, I'll give you . esrtifcat,
Upon honor hsrsby certify that q.
boarer, is weak In the kneea a areaI
coward, who shFinks from defending hi.
country. Hopehe will be putin front ranks
WHARF be can't run away. , Sur
Ws-InauumB the surgeon . QuarteF,l-
n1hank you, sir. knea | vas entitled q
. oerii6clie. The rebellion, 90 wicked and
monsirous. must Be pnt down Il has done
my heart good TO see the rnerey Of the
President IN ordering 9 drah, ffie read.
he certificate and faints,)
asahi issl6dsa mountain irAIss of carma,
thendhire, this was the custosa not many
years agoi-Whdn person died, they sent
toI the sin-esler Of the district, who, for the
small sum Of half crown, actuaIIy took upon
himself The aims Of he deceased, by the simple
prooeasof eating them The plan Of operation
was this: Aloaf of bread was provided. which
The aln-eateF 6rst PLACED on ne deai pcrson,s
c1esl lhsn mollsred some inoan.atiofns over
4 finally eating L VIII Il Be credited that
heuas believed tohave taken ifomthe def;Inc.
lho heavy weight Of his sin, and sppropr;ate
itbohInlslfl 81 which aet Of kindnes, ke ~
IegAr1sd b everybody q 4 tabooed outeast
lpdeed, immediately after The ceremony w.
6nIahsd and be bed received lis pay. hs van.
ished II double qnlck fims, & being ~ -.
tom a tho friends 70 belabor him with stick,
n th1g could alch him.