Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1863-11-19
MOI says I.
sAnd Pendsritesl'
sThunderi' said I.

'NoF says l.
sAnd Pendsritesp
n sTbunderi' said I.
J Stop talkingl Now count over aft,
, me-oneP
'0nel' said I. half dead with frigh
'Asthmal Two.'
/ Two I yelled.
,'Exostis Of the right febulul Three.
'ThreeP Igssped. 1
'Coxalgial Four
sMurdsrP said I-'Four.'
Confirmed Duodenum Of the rigb
7entricIei-Five.'
i '0h. doctorl dear doctor. aint yor
most through? / feel fsintl'
Through Mol Not half through
Why, my friend, Pandora's box wa
s0.hfng to your chest. Y0ga Sa esT' eeD
choilogis. and persifisge and
Here my knees trembled, as l leaned
against the table for support.
And permanent luxation Of the ante
rion lobe Of the right phalanx.'
My only answer was deprecatory
gesture.
And scrofulous diathesis and omnio
podites.'
/ sank to the floor in utter despair
'Elutriationl' he yelled, for he saw ]
was going fast-'and Msxillarium and
=
When l awoke to consciousness
again, found myself in puddle oI
water, an empty bucket near by, and
the surgeon as.ride Of my chest, shout
ing something 10 my ear, OF which,
however, could hear nothing.
smiled feebly in acknowledgment
of his attention. At sign from him,
two attendants drew near. and having
lifted him into chair. for he was sbso-
lusely black in the face with the vio-
lence Of bis exertions, they hoisted me
to a perpendicular attitude and the ex-
animation proceeded.
But will not harrow your feelings
by repeating the heart-rending details.
Suffice it 10 say that / was afflicted
with Gastritis, Emphysemation, Mar
cidity, Empyems. Obesity, Condyle Of
the humerus, Bilicose veins, Hernia in
both great toes, and Hemorthoids in
the left heel, besides lots of other dis
eases whose names / cannot remember.
Finally, after a rigid examination Of my
toe nails in search OF eruptive LESSONS,
he arose to his feet, drew long breath
wiped the perspiration from his face
with a stray newspaper, and recon-
menced.
Young man. said he, and his eyes
glistened with delight as he spoke. you
are really the most interesting subject
l have ever met with. Really most
wonderful easel I don't know when 1
have enjoyed half hour SO thoroughly.
Why, sir, with the exception Of two. or
at most three, you have symptoms Of
every disease in the medical dictionary.
Please let me embrace you again, just
to see if l can detect axicosis OF the
viscous membrane. Well, no. he con.
tinued, with a slightly disappointed air,
as he released me. Il don't seem to
find it exactly, but would you mind
coming round to my boarding house
after tea, so that l can spend the even
ing osculating after it?'
He was so anxious to find that par
.icular symptom, that / was very sorry
to refuse him, but / had promised
Sophia Ann that would be at home
to tea, and knew she would worry If /
staid, so 1 was obliged to decline
Seeing there was lady in the case, he
very politely excused me, very much to
my relief. well. goodbye. my friend,
said he, as / took my hat to 60. i
wish it was so you could go to the war,
I would have you in my hospital in less
than a month, and then l could ex-
anime you at my leisure. l am posi-
tive little exposure would bring on
those two symptoms | spoke Of. and
then what a magnificent subject you
would be? How l would like to dissect
you'll But then, perhaps you don't feel
like it, and if you don't l don't know as
l can blame you much for preserving
your wonderful organization as long as
you can. so you just go into the next
room and Capt. Herrick will give you
a furlough to go home and provide a
substitute or pay your commutatiou.-
Boy, call the next on the listp
But, SIR said /, aghast at his con-
cludiDg remarks, you don't pretend to
accept me as able-bodied?'
Really my FRIEND said he, 'tbe fact
is you have so many diseases, that
actually don't know which to specify
1t won't do to say cranial diseases wher
it's your heart that is affected, and il
mention your heart, what's the use o
your having consumption? But l know
DR.. Cogswell will be pleased to receive
your Communication fee, or if you will
bring up a likely substitute I shall be
delighted to examine him, and some
day when we are both at liberty, 1 sbal
be most happy to have you call upor
me. Hold Just unbutton your eeat
for moment. Imust find that exco-i
But here l broke from his grasp, and
stopping in the next room, only long
enough to procure my furlough, star.
ted for the railway station, and never
looked behind till l was safe In tn.
hands Of Sophia Ann and the children
And now can anybody inform m,
where / can find good, sbls-bodiet
substitute, warranted diseased in th,