Mineral Point weekly tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1859-1868, 1863-09-23
Miscellaneous Ifems

,'o' our y aere there's red nose II is q sign
p, ga v~wv ws
- unchreeerds, as an item of horticpl-
turai, that scientihe gardener succeeded
the other day. in planting a blew on bis 49,.
ter,s nose--The interesting result has no,-ra.
been aseertailled, Perhaps it brought forth
( blush roses.
| The Wit deseryedly won his bet. who in
a company where every one was Dragging of
| his tall relations, wagered that he himself had
a brother twelve feet high He had, he said,
two Ehalf-brothers, each measuring six feet
high --.a
- " We all of US should make a sacra-
ihent SAID Mrs Darlington, solemnly, as she
heard that neighbours son had oeen draft
eu II 1 had hundred i sons, I should be
Wiling that every one OF EN- should be ex-
empt.n
- Paddy was summoned TO Court for re-
fuslng to pay a doctors bill. Judge-''Whv
DO you refuse TO pay ," Paddy-IsWhat for
should J pay. Sure, did he ever give me
any thing but some emetics and the niyer =
che could keep in my stomach at all, at ALL
= we won't indulgo in such horrid antic-
lpatlons, as the henpecked husband said when
the parson told him he would be Joined to his
wne IN another world, never more to be sep
arated from her. "Parson, | hope you viii
| not mention that unpleasant circumstance
again" said he
- wish you would not give me such
short weight for my money!" said a customer
to grocer, who had an outstanding bin
against him. And wish YOU wouldn't give
me such long wait for mine,n INSTANTLY re-
piled the grocer.
= At crowded concert Young lady
| standing at the door of the hail. was address
ed by an honest Hibernian who was in attend
ance on the occasion. Said he, 'Indade Miss,
IShn ha rial
empty ones are all full"
= 1t is said that Edward Lloyd, wealthy
Welshman, well known on the London stock
| exchange, blew his brains out in despair at
losses by the Confederate loan. We don't
| believe word Of it. If Mr. Llovd dabbled in
the rebel loan, he may have shattered his
skull with pistol, but he didn't blow out
particle of brains. --.-. e..
You've Mrs. MALAPRoF--A gentleman Of
| this city recently met a married couple who
| had lately returned from a tour abroad. and
we're about going TO housekeeping. The wife,
whose upper story was poorly furnished, wa.
CLIQUE IN the description of their purchases
! abroad, and among other things, said: ''Hs4s-
band has bo'tc3 lot of stationery TO PIT in the
| ajckS"!-A. Y Hercsu-y
-Awee todlin', only five years old. griev-
| ed IN childish way, over the death of ba-
| by brother. His mother consoled him in she
sweet pathetic way Christian mothers have,
| by telling The little fellow that the baby was
with God Mamma, responded the little one
docs Goi cook dinner in Heaven ?" Nam
maj s'pose so, child" DWELL, mamma"
said the little fellow, ',Id like to eat al Gods
table. God holds tie 6a5y in has lap don't he,
| mammal"
| The Canadian electors must be the
| thirstiest set of men living After the late
! parliamentary q in
keeper In Hastings sent i'll his 'itte bilr' for
| refreshments supplied to two hundred thirsty
! voters. lie charges for $500 glasses of IL
| quor, which would be 27t glasses to each
( person present, and Is glasses per minute for
| five hours steady drinking He also charges
! 1900 cigars as smoked by the same 200, each
| OF whom, If the charges are right, drank
over gallon of liquor and smoked III cigars
"A planter buying goods Memphis made
| his order In this way-'Fustly, give me "A
| barrel of whiskey, then a barrel Of -four, then
ten hams, then fifty pounds of pork and
another barrel of whiskey, then some calico,
| then some more pork and another barrel of
| -four 'Wall," he continued show much
does this leave?p The merchant replied
| Here the planter seemed to be confounded
| After thinking for a few moments during
/ which time he vigorously scratched his head
| with both hands, he suddenly frightened up
as if he had come into possession of new
| idea, and replied, oval, give Inc the balance
in whiskey"
| A STAKEHOLDER from the country, APP
preached an old acquaintance, also slave
| holder, residing in the city the other day and
said: ... - =.
81 have several negro men lurking about
| here somewhere. wish you would look out
| foi them and when you find them, do with
them as if they were your own"
| Certainly, | will, replied his friend.
| A few days ago, the parties met again, and
| the planter asked: frr
q Have yon found my slaves ?"
Il have"
| "And where are they ?"
| "Well, you told me to do nth them Just as
if they were my own, and as / made my
enlist in the Federal Army, l did the same
| with yours"
+, The astounded planter squatulated-Nash-
| UiNe UHien. ...a
| How TO DEAL WITH BLooDHoUNDs.--A black
man tells how to deal with bloodhoundss He
had been chased himself:
GO He toll. us when the dogs followed us in
| the canebrake, in order to prevent them from
| keeping the trail, We should travel much
| as possible in the water but if we should be
| closely pursued, to leave the cancbrske and
take to the OcnIulgee river. He assured US
that the dogs were fearful of the aligators
with which the river abounded, and that the
slaves were taught that the alligators would
destroy only negroes and dogs. He didn't
| believe it himself, although his master
thought he did. lie added ~
g If dem nouns get close on to you, why
! you jist git long pole and hop about twenty
feet if you kin. You do dis four or five times,
and whenever you light, Why jist put some
pepper in the holes what your heels make,
and when the nouns come dey lose dar scent,
} and den ley goes snuffin' and snuffin
round, and byemby dey sunfes up dat ar
pepper into dar nostriis and den dey1l go
chez chez and dat'll be de last dem dogs
can do dat day. sFaea s r
" This piece of information, and the man
ner Ii which 1t conveyed, accompanied
as it was by violent gyrations of the body,
and an exact imitation of dog sneeNing, was
very amusing" -rr s--l...-
! Negro Soidiers---A Rebel View.
i ~ From the Richm ond Wing, Aag "a