The Burlington weekly hawk-eye. [volume] (Burlington [Iowa]) 1860-1876, 1863-12-12

Wt0tteSQ0Os DeCeAebe1' y. ,tts
The eConsertative, Convention
The Petticoat Programme!
1lle Conxention which assembled at Gin
cinnati on the 4th inst, must have caused
Pofkopolis to shake its oily sides with
laughter, at the mirth provoking spectacle.
Think Of a Convention presided over by
the impeccable as we'll as venerable Amos
Kendall, and honored by the active partici-
patton of the garrulous Garrett Davis, and
the versatile Leslie Combs , >. es5. ~
''ThaJ Fiddler, Dancer, Jester, and Buffoon!n
Read over the list ofingenuous youths who
took part in the proceedings, and then, i,
there is any grace in you, be sure to get
upon your knees and thank God that
among His other mercies, He has "conser-
ved' these sages to guide and counsel the
people in this their hour of danger!
How instructive it must have been to see
their heads wag with the weight of accu-
mulated wisdom, and hear their voices,
Turning again towards childish treble pipe
And whistle in their sound
as they discoursed upon the noble themes
lverance and triumph! Nothing like it
was ever before witnessed even here, where
things wonderful constantly thr6ng around
us! Men OF great sagacity have illumined
public councils in times past. But never
before did "Old Experience" dilate, in such
"propheticstrain," upon the promise Of our
Country's Future! atE't
hov, Il or ~ a
wise deliberations! What wisdom was
ever its parallel? Did sage and patriotic
counsellors ever before display SO just an
estimate of principles-such accurate dis
elimination in their judgment of men ?
For principles they offer us ''The kentucky
Platform Of 1882! For Chief Magistrate
they invoke our acceptance of George B.
Mcclellan! Gould human wisdom better
illustrate itself? Should not Kentucky put
on ''hne purple?' Ought not the 'sLittle
Napoleon" to exalt himself like god-a
very Jupiter, above all the gods?
But we can't go on. Our sides ache with
laughter at the scene they presented-att the
grave twaddle they uttered. 1t was racie,
than any farce that was ever enacted. A
convocation of owls, in whom is all wisdom
could not have done it better. 1t will live
in our memory and prove perpetual feast
We see the modern Mentor, Leslie, sur.
named Combs, grasping after an idea but
failing to find it. DAVIS, with the pre-no.
men of Garrett, suggestive of that "Attie
witt he never found, pouring out werds like
Niagara, and imagining that Wisdom
sits enthroned upon his lips! And both,
staggering with the painful consciousness
that, if the world were deprived OF
their super-human sagacity, imme-
date wreck and chaos would follow
as surely as Night succeeds the Day
To those who know these men-how they
were accustomed to utter ''an infinite deal
more ofnothing than any men" in America
before "their days were in the yellow leaf
and they had tottered
Into the lean and slipperesi pantaloon"-
before they had reached the verge
"Of second childishness and mere oblivion,
this latest exhibition of their peculiar and
absurd pretence will furnish an unexhaus.
tible fund of mirth until
Death shall come with brow unpleasant
And beckOn to the sable shore
And grimly bid us "smile" no more" q.
But they did one thing, unintentionally
to be sure, for which we thank them. They
haze made George B. Mcclellan the OLD
WoMAN's CANDIDATE! Such position
suits him erdctly. Old women in panta-
looms, blessed with plentiful lack OF
wit" whose "eyes are purging thick am
Der and plum tree gum,' so that they can
not see or comprehend the nature of pass
ing events, are his proper friends. They
fit each others humors to a charm. They
will run on to the end together, finally i'm
agining they are the diyinely appointed
guardians of the Ship Of State, while all
the world gibes at their folly and stands
amazed at their delusion. But these "OId
Women" will have candidate! We are
thankful to them for thus fixing bis politi-
cal status. In these stirring times the man
who is slobbered oyer with such prefer
ence has already run his race. Alas, poor
George we knew you were done for"
but We did not anticipate an end like this (!
Your destiny
Makes our eyes water; but more merry tears
Inc passion OF loud laughter never she'd"
I- We presume it may be look ed upon
as an ascertained fact that Longstreet has
been finally and disastrously repulsed at
Knoxville, by Burnside, and that he is now
seeking to make his escape towards Vir-
ginia, in which attempt we presume he will
succeed. He has failed in the ardently de-
sired purpose of overwhelming our forces
and occupying East Tennessee. Removed
up with the flush of Chickamauga upon his
banners, with choice body of veterans.
the pride of the rebel armies, not doubling
that he would be able to ''gobble upn the
comparative small force in that region
Whatever effect the success of Grant at
Chattanooga had elsewhere, it did not less
en- Longstreet's numbers or ability. He
was as strong as he expected to be when he
started-strong enough, in his own opinion,
to attempt to carry Knoxville. Buthe was
mistaken. Burnside was there, and Union
soldiers were there, not in such force as
they wished, but firmly resolved to resist