davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07
COmical Sport.

! MANY wears ago, in England, when
travellers were wont to journey on horse
back, and slept two in bed at taverns
the following droll incident occurred at
Chester:
Two young bloods stopped at the Red
Fox tavern, and while going up to bed
late at night Git being hot weather. they
discovered the door of one of the bed
rooms open. 1t so happened that a
Scotchm and an Irishman were both
asleep in the bed; and the Irishman had
kicked the kivcr off, and one of his legs
lay naked and nearly out Of bed.
I'll have some sport now, said one of
the bloods to his mate, If you'll hold
the light minute
The candle was held, while the young
chan went in, and taking up one of the
Irisbmap IS spurs, bucklcd it on the heel
of Paddy's Got, gave his leg pinch
and hid himself behind the door. Pad
dv though not awans.e n.encd, drew his leg
suddenly back. and in ms way sadiy
damaged the Scots naked lcg with the
spur. 49,,
The de'el d---n you! exclaimed
Donald, rubbing his leg, AN ef ye dinna
gang cot o'bed and cut yer toe nails, III
soon be getting up throw yer oot tn
window yer loot!'
The Irishman yet slept soundly. and
soon put his leg back in its old position
when the young joker who put ON the
snurs stole up to the bed and pinched
his leg a second time. In went the leg
again, the spur striking the Scotchman's
leg who now got in terrible passion,
and began to pummel Paddy, exclaim-
ing, as usual.
Get cot bed and cut yer toe nails,
ye loot. Do ye fash Christian mon to
stand such rough diggin?
This walked up the lrishman, who at
that moment bringing the spur to bear
on bis own other leg, vaulted out of bed.
Having procured a light he looked down
at the spur with great astonishmcnt.
by my sowl, said he, what a stupid
fool is the hostler Of this inn; sure an
he TUX off ME boots when | went to bed
and has left.on one ov me spurs. Strange
it is [ didn notice it?
This explanation being satisfactory to
Donald, harmony was restored, while
,he author of tie mischief sneaked out
of the room to lis own nest.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07
LOYAL or DiSlOyaI.

l lately dined in company with one OF those
inane young gentlemen who, as Theodore
Winthrop says in Cecil Dreeme,' praise sla-
very and think they are aristocratic. The
Young gentleman went on for some time,
when Mrs. said to him politely:
IF you sympathize with the rebels, why
don't you 60 and join them?'
Il, madame? assure you l am perfectly
loyal
Indeed?
why, certainly, only stand by the gov
ernment, not by the administration
so Vallandingham says
Il mean am no abolitionist.
so Brooks says
'That is, l fear we are alternating the
South
so Tom Seymour says
In other words, am Union man, but
| don't think war can restore it,
80 Toucey says.
But my dear madame, the war is uncon-
stitutionaly carried on
80 George TickLor Curtis says
Il mean that our liberties are in danger
80 Fernando Wood says
well, but isn't the war fratricidal2'
80 Ben Wood says
Come, then, isn't it hopeless?'
so the London Times says.
Yes, my dear madame, but what on earth
do you say?'
4 say that whoever stands against the ad-
ministration in this war stands against the
government. | say that whoever says he is
no abo!itionist means that he intends to en-
barrass the war. say that whoever is afraid
of alternating the South is afraid of irritating
a snake that has already stung him. I say
that whoever thinks that force connot re-
store the Union does not know that union is
the most irresistible instinct Of the American
people. | say that whoever says the war is
unconstitutionally carried on is in danger OF
being split by the tempest in which he is
trying to split hairs. 1 say that whoever
says our liberties are impericd by the gov
ernment and not by the..rebellion, works and
prays for the rebellion and the annihilation
of all civil liberty and order. l say that
whoever calls the war fratricidal has no more
conception of national honor than lottery
dealers are said to have of honesty. / say
that whoever considers the cause of the Uni
ted States hopeless hates that cause in hi:
heart, and is utterly ignorant of the char.
acter of the people and the facts Of the stu
alton. That is what say, and that is wha
every truly American man and woman say
and believes.
The young gentleman made no reply: but
the next day, at the club, he said to friend
Il dned yesterday at Mrs. IS. What
an awful aboitionst she is.--Harper's Week.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07
JAY Cooke.
Subscription Agent;
What Makes a Man.

Prof. W. Wilkinson, in an article on
Building Man. says:
A man of power is not one who can
lift three thousand pounds-a jackscrew
can do much better than that: Power is
ruling ones self. A holy man, says Sa-
DIV, saw a wrestler distracted and foam
ing at the mouth with rage; he inquired
the cause, and was told that some one
had giveu him abuse. Hc SAID, This
paltry fellow, who can lift stone OF
thousand pounds weight, is not able to
bear single word. Resign your boast
ing pretensions to strength and fortltude
YOU weak. spirited wretch.
Power is the indomitable will, the re-
sistless purpose that makes circumstance
the slave, rather than the master of it
self; that subjugates the forces of Nature
to be Gepii of the Lamp; that concen-
trates twenty years of tireless but unap-
nreciated labor on great invention with
which to bless mankind; that torges a
life-thought into pregnant word or
phrase, and sends it ringing through the
ages. 1t 0Verc0meS HI opsIaeieo VI o''iio
and space; it makes a Procrustean bed
to the proportions of which all things
must conform. Even the infrmitles OF
the flesh yield to the masterful will
Aaron Burr laid aside a wasting fever
like a garment 10 join the expedition
against Quebec. Douglas Jerro d, ap-
pareutly near his end,, was told by his
physician that he must die, What! !
said Jerrold, and leave family ofhelp.
less children? By -, | won't die,
and he did not for several years.
There is such thing as 'thousan .tun
belef'-belief in ones destiny, like Ma
poleon's; belief in ones conservation to
great work, such as possessed the SIM
plc Maid of Orleans; belief such as Soc
rates had in his damon. This kind OF
belief is power, and the men who possess
it toll for it make sacrifices for it. They
are the great reformers and martyrs OF
the worll Savonarolas, the Luthcrs
the Howards, the martyrs OF history
When such men fail, or rather when they
come before their time. they are called
FANATICS. Success makes hero, failure
fool.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07
NUMBER 19.
Union Leagues.

The Copperheads don't like the Union
Leagues which are being formed all over the
country. In them they see the defeat Of all
their reasonable plans. They, therefore, at
tempt to make them obnoxious by declaring
that the members entertain "vastly more
dangerous purposes than were ever contem-
plated by Knownotbingism." Not word
have they to say against the Knights of the
Golden Circle, whose oaths are of such ma
ture that persons who have repented of join
ing the latter decline to repeat their oaths on
the ground that they would make themselves
amenable to the laws against treason.
The object of the League, If we are cor
rectly informed is to uphold the Government
of the United States. The members pledge
themselves to stand by the legally consti-
tuted authorities-to maintain the laws-and
to oppose treason in whatsoever guise it may
appear
These are the dangerous purposes of
which the Copperhead editors complaint
Well-we admit that they are dangerous
not, however, to the Federal Government
and loyal citizens, but to the Rattle-snake
Confederacy Of JEFF. Davis, and his Copper
head allies at the North. And that is the
reason why the latter are so bitterly opposed
to the Union Leagues. The leagues are 10y
al organizations for loyal men, and only
such will join them.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07
Bnetiral.
MARK THEM !!

Brand theml On their foreheads brazen
Sink it deep!
Let the traitors shameful blazon
Never sleep.
Brand them cen as Cain was branded,
Through the world;
Let their scroll of shame be handed
Broad unfurled.
Brand them in the public highways
With uour scorn
Bid the mark in private by-ways
Still be borne.
From the board, where true men gather,
Drive them out!
Fill the feast with strangers, rather
Than this rout.
Trade with foe or sup with stranger;
Pass those by,
Who, amid their country's danger,
Bid hor die!
Plotting treason fonl, inhuman,
'Gainst their land;
With such traitors let no true man
Strike his hand.
Through the coming generations
Let their name
By-word be, for execrations,
Scorn and shame.
Brand them deep, though direst ruin
On them fall
They who plot their lands undoing
Forfeit all.
No time this to prate or palter-
Mark them well
Sink them, patriot, without latter,
Deep as hell!
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07
A Model Speech.

A Captain in an Iowa regiment, having
been informed that his company had sub
scribed handsome sum for the purpose of
purchasing and presenting him with an ele-
CANT sash and sword, called his men together,
and delivered himself of the following model
speech 1t is full of straightforward COM
mon sense and pure disinterested patriotism
combined:
"Boys, if you have any money to spare
send it home to your families, if they need it;
if not keep it until you need 1t yourself. l
will buy my own sword. Should you do it,
and should it come to disgrace in these HANDS,
you could but regret the gift: or should
accept it from you, and some day find it my
imperative duty to kick some one of the do
nGrs out Of this company, it might be un-
pleasant to think | was under obligations to
that person az contributor to the elegant
sword fund. For these reasons l must firm
ly and kindly decide the favor which your
loyal hearts prompts You to bestow. Wait
until the war is over; wait until the tide Of
battle shall have been stayed-till the raging
pillows of this cursed rebellion shall have
been rolled back, waiS until l have proved
myself werthy to receive 80 noble gift
until you have shown yourselves by deeds
of daring and feats of bravery worthy to be-
stow it upon me; then, perchance, l may be
happy to accept. at your hands, lasting
testimonial of your confidence and csteem-
Till then, wait"
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07

DANGEROUS COUNTERFEIT CIRCULATED.
Two dollar Treasury bills altered to
twenties are largely circulated in Phila-
delphia. 1t is stated that tho alterations
were so successfully done that the clog
est examination was necessary to detect
the fraud. Twenty dollar government
bills should be closely inspected before
they are taken. BY holding the coun-
terfeit bills before strong light the al
teration may be detected.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07

where's my wife?' inquired gentleman
in Newburyport, on returning home early
one evening and missing his better half. She
has gone to bed with the toothache,' was the
reply of some member of his family. We'll
said the indignant Nil, IF she had rather go
to bed with the toothache than to 60 to bed
with me, let her co. and he forthwith set
tied himself to the pcrusal of the latest war
nnius
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07
I,lSOLCent'S.vOtice.

Jas. II. Plummer, ORDERED, this 11th day
VS.. Oof March, 90, that Jas
His Creditors. II. Plummer. give notice to
his creditoas, endorsers and sureties, ttat the
End Monday of October next, is fixed for the
said Jas II. Plummer to appear in the Circuit
Court for Allegany county, to answersuch in
terrogatories as his creditors, endorsers and
sureties may propose allege against him; and
that copy of this order be published in some
newspaper printed in the city of Cumberland,
once week for three successive months prior
to the said second Monday Of October next, as
such notice.
Test-H. RESLEY, Clerk.
March 10, 1S63-3m..
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07

A corporation in Boston recently paid q
dividend Of fifty per cent. An elderly gentle
man, as he took his check for thosand, did
not appear over satisfied, and the clerk ven-
tured to remark that the dividend was ra.
ther large one. The veteran looked at the
young man over his spectacleS, and said
with a grunt: 1T will do, if they can keep
it uD
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07

Recently, while the court was in session at
a certain town in New England. the sheriff
was startled by the following mandate from
the bench: Mr.. Sheriff, reuovato the fine, as
the pedal digite of the court are becoming
frigid. Desolve frigus linga foco. Larga
reponeps.' Yes, your honor replied the Of
fcer addressed, adding, after moments re-
Election, Il believe So
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07

9th. How does Secretary Chase get
enough Gold to pay this Interest?
7tb. Will the face of the Bonds be
paid in Gold when due?
9Th. Can I have the Bonds payable
to Bearer with Coupons. or registered
and payable to my order!
9th. What sizes are the bonds ?
10th. Will I have topay the same tax
on them as l now pay on my Railroad,
or other Bonds ?
11th. What is the present debt of the
Government, and what amount is it like
ly to reach if the Rebellion should last
a year or two longer
18th. Will Secretary Chase get enough
from Custom House duties and Internal
Revenue Taxes, &C., &c., to make it
certain that he can pay the Interest
punctually?
have no doubt that a good many of
my neighbors would like to take these
Bonds, and if you will answer my ques.
tions | will show the letter to them.
Very respectfully, S. M. +.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07

A good woman called on DIR. B., one
day, in great deal of trouble and COM
planned that her son had swallowed a
penny. pray, madam, said the doctor
was it counterfeit? No, sir, certainly
not, was the reply. Then it will pass,
of course, rejoined the facetious physi-
clan.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07

A man that has Lothing 10 do gene
rally does wrong, To keep out of dew
iltry. therefore, have as little TO do with
idleness as possible. Give boy holy
day, and in less than an hour somebody's
brindle dog will have him by the cordu-
roys for robbing an apple orchard.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07

Mother said a bright eyed little boy
as he saw an inebriatc staggering down
the street, Mother, did God make that
man p yes. my child Well said
the little fellow, after a moment of
thoughtfulness, 4 wouldn't
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07

Punch thinks it would be well to substi-
tute no cake, for No cards. after some
marriage notices, and in case, now and
then, fancies No nothing would not be
amiss ..
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07

A physician recently got up an emet-
ic for some members of military COM
pany, which, when given. caused all the
officers to throw up their commissions /;
two of them their parole of honor, and
the privates went to work throwing up
Notifications and earthworks
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07

If you had rather not serve God, you
do not serve him. If you had rather
live in sin, you do live in sin; for in
Gods account, the heart or will is the
man, and what man had rather be,
(habitually,) that he is.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07

The gossip sits at home until he has
accumulated an insupportable load of
ennui, and then sallies forth to distrib-
ute it among his acquaintances.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07

If man be rational, he speaks from
a principle of good thought, and acts
from principle of good will-that is, he
speaks from faith, and acts from char
ity.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07

If you agree to thing, make it
point to stick to the text, and remem-
Der that broken promises cling to man
eternally.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07

Mss Lavinia War.en's fingers are all
Ihumb'Si
What the "dear little lady lost by just get
ting married.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07

ES Dobbs says he has one of tn most
obedient boys in the world. He tells
him to do as he pleases and he does it
without murmering.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07

The rich est robes are often put upon
the most diseased bodies, and the sweet
es. names upon the most horrible vices.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07

Self will is SO ardent aud active, that
it will break world to pieces to make
stool to sit on.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07

A CoDBLER in Sacramento writes to his
friends in Boston, that by the recent great
fire he lost his dul
We hope it wasn't his last.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07

The is one thing which the most un-
observant person manages to see-what
we don't want him to see.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07

HYpRopHoAIA CURED.-A case or hydro
phoba, fully developed, has been cured by
the health officer of Brooklyn, N. Y, by the
ample application of ice and wet clothes on
the back of the neck and along ths spine Of
the patient
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07

THAT is shear nonsense, as the convict re-
marked when he saw his wavy locks fall off
uner tie influence of the penitentiary bar
Der.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07

ne The last words of General Sum-
ner were God save my country, the
United States OF America
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07
Catawba Wine

WHICH I will warrant to be the pure juice
w of the Grape-it being the product of
my own vineyard, Invalids needing mild
stimulant will find it very beneficial. For sale
BY ROBERT READ.
Feb. 5. IS63,-.3ts*
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07
Gipilian y Gflegrapb
is PUBLISHED
Every Thursday Morning
w. EVANS, Editor and Proprietor.
GEO. w. HOOVER, Publisher.
Office in Second Story of Brooks Block
BALTIC. St., near the Bridge,
IT r r M s :

TWO DOLLARS per annum, strictly IN ao-
vance, $3.50 if not so paid, and Sa.oo IL no'
paid within the year.
Bear in mind that no paper Will DO alscoh-
tinued until all arreara ges are pald,
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07
Rates of Advertising.

Largerspace forshort perlods, as per agree
ment.
Advertisements beforeMarriages and Deaths
o cts. per lnefor rstinsertion subsequent
insertions, 5 cents per line. Nine words are
counted as q line in advertising.
Merchants and others advertising by the
year, will be charged $l2 90.
Proceedings of meetings not OF general
character charged at cents per llneforeach
insertion.
Yearlyadvertisers mustcontin etheimdver-
Using to their own business.
ALL TRANSIENT ADVERTISING, cash in ad-
vance.
Persons ordering the insertion flegaladver-
.isements will be held responsible for pay
ment for the same when the time Tor W hich
they were ordered to be inserted shall have
expired.
IysoLvEHT NorIcEs, cash in advance.
PATENT MEDICINES, one half in adNanceahd
the balance in six mon tbs
ALL Jon WORK, CASH.
The losses we have sustained compel us TO
adopt this course II will be strictly adhered
to in all cases and no advertisement Will be
inserted unless accompanied by the cash.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07

Those who neglect these Six per cent.
Bonds, the Interest and Principal OF
which they will get in GOLD, may have
occasion to regret it. 1 am, very truly
your Friend,
JAY Cooke.
Subscription Agent;
At Office of Jay Cooke q Co.,
No. ia S. Third ST., Philadelphia.
The Banks and Bankers of your and
adjoining COMMITTEES will keep supply OF
these Bonds on hand, if you prefer to 60
there and get them.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07

Master at homer.
No, sir, he's out.
Mistress at home q
Mo, sir, she's out too.
Then I'll step in and sit by the fire,
That out too, sir,
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07
Friends and Relatives
HOLLOWAY'S PILLS
And OINTMENT.

All who have Friends and Relatives in the
Army or Navy, should take especial care, that
they be amply supplied with these Pills and
Ointment; and where the brave Soldiers and
Sailors have neglected to provide themselves
with them, no better present can be sent them
by their friends. They have been proved to be
the Soldiers never failing friend in the hour OF
need
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07

NEW BOOKS, Military Works, just received
lN at the Book Store under the St. Mich olas
March 10. WIN. ANDREWS.
Civilian & telegraph. [volume] (Cumberland, Md.) 1859-1875, 1863-05-07

GOLDFISH, Mackerel, New Mackerel, in Bbs,
" Half Bbls, Kits, for salo by
Feb. 5. WIN. r. BEALL & CO
The daily Evansville journal. (Evansville, Ind.) 1862-1863, 1863-01-08
AUCTION g. COMMISSION
AUCTION AND COMMIssION.

II NELSON G. CO., WOULD INFORM THE
Ii. public that they viii attend to selling on
Commission at Auction, or Private Sale, any and
al kinds of Merchandise. Particular attention
given to selling Real Estate. We will attend to
selling Horses, Mules, Wagons, Carriages, and
Vehicles. Particular attention given to selling
Household Furniture, both old AID second hand,
and will attend 10 auction sale in any part of the
sity or county.
II. NELSON will pay particular attention to
collecting debts or claims; will act as agent for
renting houses and collecting rents, and any and
All business entrusted to us
Office on Main Street, opposite Court House, one
door from Crescent City Bank, Evansville.
mvl6 II. NELSON & co.
The daily Evansville journal. (Evansville, Ind.) 1862-1863, 1863-01-08
Old Metals Ronght

SUGAR BUCKEs.-5 DOZEN, ASSORTED
~ cases, just received at
dec IL ELLI0TT'S Family Grocery.
SUGAR. HHDS PRIME n o. SUGAR
~ barrels crushed do, barrels powd cred do,
arrels graduated do. Just received at -
ELLI0TTS Family Grocery
GALT-SO0 BARRELS, 7 BUSHELS EACH
- go bushels, $50 bushels each,
M sacks Turks Island. f6r sale by
deoil GEO. POSTER & co.
The daily Evansville journal. (Evansville, Ind.) 1862-1863, 1863-01-08
JEWIELRY, WATCHES
9 IL q Q e IS
HOLIDAY PRESENTS.

Having just returned from the
East with Large and Beautiful
stock, Inow offer 70 SELL
Gold and Silver Huntin g
Watches.
Small gold Huntir g Watches.
Gold, Vest and Oh a el ain
Chains,
Diamond, PeaIl and Opal
Rings,
Carhuncle, Plain Gold and
Seal Rings,
Carbuncle, Pearl and Plain
Sets JewelrV.
Brestpins, Buckles, Crosses.
Neckla ces, &c,
Gold and Silver Thimbles,
Lockets,
Silver Spoons, Caps and Nap.
kin Rings,
Silver Butter and Fruit
Knives, Salt Spoons,
Plated Table Tea Spoons and
E0rks,
Studs, Sleeve Buttons and
Ear Rings,
And many other articles toe
numerous to mention, all oil
which I will sell 1t low
figures for Cash.
Call and examine before
purchasing elsewhere. You
will find it to your advan.
tage.
GEO. A. B1TTROLFF,
No. l8 Main Street.
N. B.-Watches, Clocks and Jew
elry repaired and warrented.
The daily Evansville journal. (Evansville, Ind.) 1862-1863, 1863-01-08
WELL TRIED CORPORATION.

Ia lhs equitable adjustment, and prompt Cash re-
spoase 10 losses the PHOENIX stands pre-emqentg at
the head of its profession i1lile is e1ensire, prGcti
teal, and Tstcdss business system Of local agencies
Insurancies solicited, and policies issued and re-
newed in this leading Corporation, ut fair rates by
j. W. NEXSEN, Resident Agent,
Office, Marble Hall Building, Main street.
The daily Evansville journal. (Evansville, Ind.) 1862-1863, 1863-01-08
BOOTS, SHOES, HATS, &c
III z w
w III O l. = ALE

-Rl0g-iNn- GISNE--IsILl- AIn DAD
& g M q A Ia ~ .