The Portland daily press., 1863-06-08
me; and when he found the bridge beginning
TO move, he smote his breast, and says he:

mc anu Wnen ne Iounu the DTluSe DtgiHnlnS
to move, he smote his breast, and says he:
"Where are we drifting TOP"
Be not alarmed, Mr.. Weed" says l, pleas
antly; I'VE shall soon repair the damage"
"Hem. p says he, 81 wish I'd gone over on
the other platform at first"
HIS was quite an old man my boy, slowly
sinking into the rising waves OF his own fat;
aud for that reason appeared to have chronic
fear of some unexpected submersion.
The Mackerel Brigade in two parts, having
reached the opposite shore OF Duck Lake in
safety, the Grim Old Fighting Cox ordered
Captain William Brown and Captain Bob Shorty
TO take each regiment of specialized veterans
and cautiously feel the confederacies' lines,
while he led the remainder of the national
troops to a small village at hand, which had
particularly requested to be Immediately de-
stroyed 1t was his great strategical plan, my
boy, to form his lines in the shape of a triangle
thus enclosing the unmannerly coniederacies
between three fires, and winning great geo.
metrical victory. The confederacies being
duly surrounded, and the village being set on
fire at the apex of the triangle, the Grim Old
Fighting Cox withdrew to tent, spread
map OF the world upon camp stool before
him, and proceeded to take Typographical OBJ
servations. Drawing from his saddle-bags an
instrument OF opaque glass, of tubular char
acter, quite large In circumference about half
way up and then tapering into neck, or
smaller tube, OF nearly the same length, he
raised it in semi-horizontal position to a
point about one and a half inches above the
lower circumference of his chin, until he
could look through it at an angle bisecting its
greater circumference upon the map below.
The light, striking through the body of this
instrument, cast wavy, fuctuating sort of
yelowish glare upon that part OF the map
representing the well-known Southern Con-
fad xs.I L., -
trickling sound. After an interval of some ten
minutes the operator saw,by this contrivance,
just double the number of confederacies he
had to contend with. 1t only remained, them
for him to divide the number ascertained by
two, and he knew exactly the number of his
foes!
You win observe, my boy. that this singular
ly ingenious device at once revealed to the
new General of the Mackerel Brigade the true
strength of his greatest enemy, and inspired
him with strong spirit.
1t was Immediately after this that the Grim
Old Fighting Cox issued the following
GENERAL ORDER
The manner in which the crossing of Duck Lake
has been accomplished proves that this is the finest
Army ever seen ON the plan of it, and is likely to
prove equally fine ON the do it. have now got the
well known Southern Confcderacy where wished to
have her. and she must either ignominiously retreat
come out of her works and be annihated by me
On N! own ground, WHICH IL ground armsl
lbge seal
VI 'hA !" All AhhhL DhisADh.
Having let fly this General Order. nv boy.
the Grim Old Fighting Cox proceeded to COM
plete his surprise of the enemy by leading a
bayonet charge from his side of the triangle.
and Immediately telegraphed to the base of
the triangle that the enemies of human free
dom were reteating before him. This was
truly the case for the unseemly copfederacies
not only retreated before him, but retreated
with such impetus of flight upon Captain vii
liam Browe at the base of the triangle, that
they actually drove him clear out of pIace.
and proceeded to occupy the base themselves.
Thus matters stood at the conclusion of the
first day.
Early on the second day, the Grim Old
Fighting Cox charged again upon some fresh
regiments of confederaces, who returned with
such violence that they completely pressed
Captain Bob Shorty from the right line of the
triangle, and remained in that line themselves.
This was the second days battle.
On the followieg morning 1t was discovered
that fresh, confederacies had come up from
Paris. These were attacked irresistibly by the
WnOie MdCkprel BRIGADE. and QnlY SufCpedp0