Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1863-11-28

them with a fine tooth comb, the first
thing"
Jumping off the chair he hit me a lick in
the ribs that nearly knocked me over, and
before | had time to demonstrate, lns arms
were around my neck and his head pressed
against my bosom the same way that So
! phia Ann does, when she wants me to buy
| her some new bonnets and things.
"Just what thought" says he, "Tuber-
culosis and Hemoptysis, combined with a
defect in the scapular membrane and Incl
pient phthisis."
"Heavens /" says l, "what's that ?"
"And Cardiac disease"
mo !" said |.
"And Pendardites y
"Thunder !" said l.
"Stop talking! Now count after me
one ~
zone !" said half dead with fright
"Asthma Two"
"Two," yelled |.
"Exostis of the right fcbuc Three"
Three y gasped.
"Coxalgia Four"
"Murder - said I-"Four
Confirmed Duodenum of the right ven
tricle-Fivc.n
.Oh doctor dear doctor, amt you most
through feel faint y
Through! No, not half through. Why
my friend, Pandora's hog was nothing TO
your chest. You have sphynixiana and
gloriosis and conchoiogia and persiflagc
and
Here my knees trcmbled SO l leaned
against the table for support.
And permanent luxation OF the antcri-
or lobe of the right phalanx."
My only answer was dcprecatory Ses-
ture.
And Scrofulous diathssis and Omniopc-
dities."
sank to the floor in utter despair.
"Elutriation I" he Yelled for, lie saw |
was going fast-''and Maxillaoium, and"
When woke to consciousness again /
found myself in puddle of water and the
surgeon astride of my chest, shouting some.
thing into my ear, of which however, |
could hear nothing.
smiled fcebly in acknowledgment OF his
attention. At II sign from hipi, two attcn-
dants drew near, and having Fitted me INTO
a chair, for he was absolutely black in the
face with the violence of his cXcttpns, they
hoistccd me to a perpendicular and the cX-
animation proceeded. -
But | will not harrow your feelings by
flee it to say. that | was afflicted with Gas
tritis, Emphysematich, Emphymation,
Marcidity, Emdyema, Obesity, Condyle of
the Humcrns, Bilicosc veins, Hernia in both
great toes, and IIermcriods in the heels, be.
sides lots of other diseases whose names
cannot remember. Finally, after rigid
examination of my toe-nails in search of
cruptivc lessons, he arose to his feet drew a
long breath wiped the pcrspiration from
his face with a stray newspaper, and recon-
mcnced.
"YounS man." said he, and his eyes glis-
tened with delight as he spoke, you are
really the most interesting subject / have
ever met with. Really most wonderful case
don't know when have spent half hour
so thoroughly. Why, sir, with the eXcep-
ton of two or at most three, you have symp-
toms of every disease in the medical die
tionary. Please let me embrace you again,
Just to see if | can't detcst cXiosis of the
VICIOUS membrane. Wcll, no." he continued
with slightly disappointed air, as he re-
leased me- IL don't seem to it, exactly, but
would you mind coming around to my
boarding house, after tea so that can spend
the evening osculating after z"
lie was so anxious to find that particular
symptom. that WIS CORY to refuse him,
but | had promised Sophia Ann that |
would be home to tea, and | knew she
would worry if stayed, SO was obliged to
decline Seeing there was a lady in the
case, he politely excused me, very much to
my relief "Well, good bye my friend"
said he, us | took my hat to 60 Il wish it
was SO you could 90 to war, would have
YOU in my hospital in less than a month,
and then | could examine you at leisure. /
am positive II little exposure would bring
on those two symptoms | spoke of and then
what magnificent subject you would be {!
/ How ! should like to dissect you But per-
haps you don't feel like it, and if you don't,
| don't know as can blame you much for
preserving your wonderful organization as
/ long as you can, so just 60 into the next
room and Capt. IIerrick will give you n
/ furlough to go home and proyioc substi-
tute or pay your communication. Boy, call
the next on the list r.
but, sir" said |, aghast at his conclud-
ing remarks, ''you don't pretend to accept
me as ablc-bodicd p
"Realy, my friend" said he, "thc fact is
you have so many diseases, that actually
don't know which to specify. 1t won't do
to say crantal disease, when it's your heart
that is affected, and if mention your heart
what's the use of your having consumption
But know DIR. Cogswell will be pleased ia
receive your Communication fee, or if you will
bring up likely substitute | shall be de-
lighted to see him, and some day when we
are both at liberty, shall be most happy to
have you call upon me. Hold just un'
button your coat for moment. must
find that eXco-"