The mountain Democrat., 1863-05-16
How to Procure q Husband.

The following true story might, per.
haps, furnish matter for little comedy,
If comedies were still written in England.
1t is generally the case that the more
beautiful and the richer a young female
is, the more difficult are both her parents
and herself in the choice of a husband,
and the more offers they refuse. One is
too tall, another too short, this one not
wealthy. that one not respectable enough.
Meanwhile, one Spring passes after an
other, and year after year carries away
leaf after leaf Of the bloom Of youth, and
opportunity after opportunity. Miss Har
riet Selwood was the richest heiress in
her native town; but she had already
completed her twenty seventh year, aud
beheld almost all her young friends united
to men whom she had at one time or other
discarded. Harriet began to be set down
for an old maid Her parents became re-
ally uneasy, and she herself lamenttd in
private a position which is not natural
one, and to which those to whom nature
and fortune had been niggardly Of their
gifts are obliged TO submit; but Harriet,
as we have said, was both handsome and
rich. Such was the state Of things when
her uncle, a wealthy merchant in the
north Of England, came on a visit to her
parents. He was jovial, lively straight.
forward man, accustomed to attack all
difficulties boldly aud coolly.
You Sec" said her father to him one
day, Harriet continues Single. The girl
is handsome; what she is to have for her
fortune you know; even in this scandal
loving town, not a creature can breathe
the slightest imputation against her, and
yet she is getting to be an old maid"
True" replied the uncle but look
you, brother, the grand point in every af
fair in this world is to seize the right mo-
ment; this you have not done-it is q
misfortune; but let the girl 60 along with
me, and before the end Of three months |
will return her to you as the wife Of u
man as young and wealthy as herself"
Away went the niece and the uncle
On the way home, he thus addressed her :
mind what am going to say. You
are no longer Miss Selwood, but Mrs.
Lumley, my niece, young, wealthy,
childleSS widow. You had the misfOr-
tune to lose your husband, Colonel Lum.
ley, after happy union Of quarter of a
year, by fall from his horse while hunt
ing"
"But, uncle"
"Let me manage, if you please, Mrs.
Lumley. Your father has invested ME
with full powers. Here, look you, is the
wedding-ring given you by your late huS-
band. Jewels, and whatever else you
need. your aunt will supply you with
You must accustom yourself to cast down
POUR eyes"
The kcen-witted uncle introduced his
niece everywhere, and the young widow
excited great sensation. The gentle
men thronged about her, and she soon
had her choice out Of twenty SuitOrs.-
Her uncle advised her to take the one
who was most in love with her, and rare
chance dccreed that this should be the
most amiable and opulent. The match
was soon concluded, and one day the un.
Gle desired to say few words to his fu.
ture nephew in private.
MY dear sir" he began, 1--WE have
told you an untruth."
"llow so! Are Mrs. Lumlcy's affec-
tions--"
"Nothing of the kind. My niece is
sincerely attached to you"
"Then her fortune is not equal to what
you told me!"
"On the contrary it is larger"
"Wcll, what is the matter, then?"
"a joke, an innocent joke, which came
into my head one day when was in a
good humor-we could not we'll recall it
afterward. My niece is not widow"
"What is Colonel Lumley living'"
"No, no; she is splnsIer."
The lover protested that he was hap
pier fellow than he had thought, and the
old maid was forthwith metanorphosed
into young wife. /