Mineral Point weekly tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1859-1868, 1863-10-07
4 ST BSIITITE WANTED.

SUBSTITUTE WANTED.
The other day Chief Engineer Dean, Of the
Fire Department, called at the Office where
make shoes for living, and handed me a big
white enyelop, notifying me that was draft
ed and mus. report myself for examination,
ut LcYrence on the 18th Of August.
Now | consider it the duty OF every citizen
to give his life, if need be, for the defense
of his country, 80 on the morning of the event
ful 18th, | put on clean shirt and my Sun
day clothes and started for Lawrence. to see
il could get exempted.
Lawrence, as all know, is situated on the
Merrimack river, and its principal productions
are mud, dust and factory girls. The city
proper, at least that part l saw, consisted of a
long narrow entry, up one flight of stairs
adorned overhead with a trcscOing of Gas me-
tiers, and carpcted with worn out tobacco
guilds and furnished with one chair. two set
tees and a. many huge, square packing cases,
marked %. VI. D." Scattered around this
palatial entrance-hal were some forty or fifty
conscrpts, looking very much a. if they ex-
pected to be exempted by reason of old age
before the young man with 1crocious nous
tache should notify them Of their turn Most
OF them, however, were doomed to disappoint-
ment, for while they Counted the hours of de
lay, door would suddenly open, and the tall
march him through the open doorway to be
seen no more.
BY and by-tnat is after several hours
walting-my turn came.
John Smith /" shouted the doOr-kccper.
: That's me, SAYS , with "a cheer from the
crowd, | entered a large square room where
two persons sat writing at d table, and the
third, evidently the surgeon, was examining
a man III the last stages of nudity.
In. 2, H.
man with curly eyes and blue hair, nodded to
me, and dipping his pen in the ink, com
meuced-
John Smith" what's your name
John Smith9' says l.
Where were YOU born?
Poduuk, Maine"
What did your great-grandlathcr did
Darued if l know" saysI
Call it hapeutao.' SAYS he and your
grandfather, too
= don't care what YOU call it, SAYS I,
for | was little rilcd by his uousensicai
question
$ Did YOU ever have boils !"
Not boil
q OFF fiji
Or dcIirium tremens
s'Or ricketts,
I'll ricket you, for l thought lie meant
something else.
8 Did you ever have tine measles >" saws
he.
Here | took of my coat
cor fine inch >"
:" Yes, sir" said l.. that ere fist land I
showed a very large brown one within three
inches Of his nose has been itching for the
last ten minutes 10 knock your pesky head
oil, YOU little, mean, low-Iivcd, contemplate
wheIp. YOU"
i" Nav dear sir ? said tb, ,,iI5--,,,l-o,, ,,.,
tlemaniy SURGEON. Ir,inr his hand ON INV
arm "caIm YOURSELF / nrav Don,t IGt
your angry passions rise. but take of. vo,Iy
Cl,rbes =, COW, - -. "a -,
80 suppressed INV ANGER. and Withdrew
in.r To a corner hume my rlnrLas rr,or, fla.
floor and pre.rnr.a Inv-.,If to. .,,.a,,t;,.,t7,,,
clad only with the covering nature had ,riy,r
me eNerpr about i -,tr..r.. it.l, III ,..,rt ,7-
tar M ,ot r;rLt .Iin r.h.r hi c.l l'.,'s
,bair I'll. 7i.-l-t -. I;...
.,Yonn, man ..,5 H., -,
me -rraioI,t Fl The r,, ..vo,T H. ,,.,t IL
4,,o,,ia
"a; -. ,:4T ..4
HtI4 Bninrcr Win '''1 - 'g1 t os,,, Go,
T,,ai..- ..TGsiil.,,t -. - .'',.-'
- e'.s'' Va ' ''.''i
e..l .l.-.
- 80 - ~ al '''i'U. "'' Ten
- .T,,.,- ISM = ",oo'l. i'''''.'" win
ot'....,'lln. IL
and ,f,+ M. .... ..r..I...
-. ...'r,,...- St'o' - ''-e '1' t.' psf
- . o.l'."N1
went n s,yin', mir IT, i ~, -. l $'lS cause
"eu1 Il. SWIMMING lA-s morning, and got an
r ny "o'I'g ~ my ie's ear ana here
-. -. ',llI ~" '"o o' '"'tt tunes on
-rornl3 he ,'' '.,,',,l - - Is loon as
9'"lP,u' ne mounted tnalr, and COM
s.i W l zen. 'ng Top 9, my mead
y your Iahlit ever troubled with cpl
o., s nj
49,, '',e ivy o"ss' says J. ana "Acn
-, str ~ az always goes "t
-. "NS ''ol" conn., the H'st
I,-..,.,,,. -.
tb, ~ o.'.'.'f ne i''' me 4lth IN
IT. La5 I'm, '..SNsu me over ana
-. - ~ e'..olis' l'te' ms arms
I,o[,,, .,--, l.'S "eaH pressed
-, - IL, -r,e -. "aN lnaI SOPHIA
- rgr,,,. .,,4 -. '-'e 10 ""A her
T. 80, -, -. ,-''l7s
~ TIL s.'.o AG, iH.tTc"-
&c