Weekly Trinity journal., 1863-12-12
TRINITY JOURNAL.
How simplsins avoided the Enrolling OIL


Smpkins is a bit of politician he afhliates
with the radical school, and talks in favor Of
carving the war to a successful end he is ready
to acquiesce in the measures adopted by the Gov
ernmement for the suppression of the rebellion {;
he is over ready to go in for the conscription,
provided the people won't volunteer and for the
life of him he can't see why they don't rally
round the flag He would go in minute if his
business did not require his presence at home !;
and there were so many who could just well
as not, and he thought the cowardly fellows
ought to be drafted if they would not enlist. 1t
was in such a manner that Simpkins talked until
he heard that Government had directed the mill
tia to be enrolled in California. Then change
came over his spirit, and he couldn't see why
California, so far away from the scene of strife,
should be called upon to furnish her complement
of soldiers. But let us tell how Simpkins eyaded
the enrolling officer. He was the owner Of a
very valuable mining claim near Mokelumne
Hill and being fearful of leaving it, transferred
it to friend-a loyal man-who did not fear to
take his chance in Uncle Abe's lottery he made
a regular bill, and in consideration of mere
nominal sum, with the private understanding
that he was to have it returned on his return
All things being in readiness he started for San
Francisco with the intention of having a good
time until the enrolling officer had completed his
task, when he ould return and resume the man
agement of his mines. Bidding adieu to hi:
friends, he told them that he going to the
States, for the purpose of joining the army, and
he started for this city Shortly after he started
he met way-farrier on the road, and with that
popularity which is peculiar chief characters-
tic of Caifornians, was soon on terms of famil-
iarty with him. As the friendship grew older,
it was cemented by numerous visits to the gen.
teman who keeps smiles for sale. After several
drinks Simpkins became communicative, and in
formed his new friend of his ruse to escape the
enrolling officer, adding by way of excuse =
q You know, my dear fellow, all things are fair
in love and war" 'iThat is true" replied his
friend, a and honor you for saying so. 1t is
an excellent joke and | shall tell my friends
about it but, by the way, you havn't told me
your name you know these jokes sound better
when one can tell who the originator of them
is" "You're right my boy, and will tell
you. l am Jonathan Simpkins you won't for
get that, will yon ?" I" For fear that should |
will write it down. and diving into a carpet
sack, he pulled out a suspicious looking book
and commenced writing. @ Now, how old are
you, Mr.. Simpkins?" he asked after he had
written down his name. " What the deuce do
you want to know my age forP' Because
am happy to inform you, Mr.. Simpkins, that |
am the enrolling officer of your district, and fear
full you may not be at home when | CALL will
take your name now" Simpkins face elongated,
and he declared his new found friend had taken
under advantage of him. I" 1t may be so,
but all things fair in love war;, he replied.
Simpkins finding that he was caught, concluded
that he would not visit the city, he accordingly
turned around and returned to his home, only to
find that his friend refused to surrender to him
the claim, preferring to treat the sale as val
id one. He now talks of commencing suit to re-
cover the property.-S. F. CAL.