The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1863-02-26

SdtoF uIiuhS "hlShy y. Liiclh odii Sc 'd'NiiSe
is couple Of Us. J. J.-G Gorge Goose
cat. Nhar's Big George %
"Gcne down to the Forks-and you
know it-a week ago. Nobody ever wru:
letter to him, nayther."
Well, what the devils in the rag, any
how 2" exclaimed another impatient
"Here's a bit Of paper some fool has
wimpled out for somebody here and it
racks the brains of all Nightmare to
scritter out whom sent for whom l
motion we toss up"
"Hooray Go in ! Flip up" was the
approving cry of those who pretended to
no letters at all. "Flip up, and lets open
the crittur, and draw a sight on her
insides"
'You can't do that trick, bo5s," cried
the alarmed postmaster, snatching the
letter back and putting it in the breast
pocket Of his coat, which he buttoned up
to the chin ''Its again the law
"Who is the law, anyhow?
"Agin the law to open another mans
letter and I'm postmaster here and /
don't allow nc niddlecomejigs onto Uncle
Sam, how you kin fix it. S'pose this let
are .frun somebody 70 somebody who is
somebody? That is the beeswax. More
onto this, there's nobody here kin read !;
couldn't tell one swintcr of pen from
another and then howl ar you-couId
you waffle out what's inside, If it 1cas
! cracked open before you? That's what |
AK ="
This argument was couvincing; but
curiosity was a-too:gan the disappointed
auditors conferred seriously among them
selves as to how they should overcome
the difficulty.
."They may be money in it, said
one
This suggestion increased anxiety
"Anybody here been expecting some
soap 2" was the loud inquiry.
"i've been expecting | a0tsbea had
some replied jolly-looking ruffian, in
three ragged looking garments-shirts,
pants, aud boots. 's1f anybody had sent
me any sweet-push, I'm good for three
gallons of whisky on it; alFl [ won't
culver if [ take little aforehande
81 had an uncle who used write to me
when [ was in Saint Levy added anoth-
er, with sad, shamed face ..5ut thar /
could buy somebody to spell for me
which are moren n kin be done here"
"My old fathers down to New Or1cens,'
complained another, San he must have
writ me thing of that sort-though he
used ter couldn't"
"Darn the post-ofice."' finally ejacula-
ted one. "What good of post Office,
without'n a postmaster who can read the
letters to Us ? l motion We set to and
haul the old hut down. 1t has squam-
tedled US long enough, with Its fat leath-
er pocket, aud its one -hoss per:insions J"
''Hold or, boys.' quickly cried jimmy
Herod, seeing mischief in their eyes, and
fearing the less of all his goods. II know
it's rumpliug to good nature to-be in sich
hooddlepool but lets you all OF us
smother it all over smoth, with as much
baidfaee as you kin squizzle. st nay
expense, boys-my crpeRse, Come m
and wobble down. and three cheers and
whoop for Uncle Sam. Ii we cant read
tail't his fault"
While they were about it, some was
possessed, Of sudden, with luminous
idea, which all wondered they had not
conceived before, and that was, to saddle
Two horses and send some one off, post
haste, 20 Joe Batter--the only man in all
Nightmare who could read bring
him back on the spare horse, TO solve the
mystery for them
Yes. Send for joe - was now the cry.
"W here is he 7"
''Six mile away, shoeing horses"
''But Lia he read 20
'.Y Yes; /; and write I've seen him do
it "
A horseman with spare horse was at
once dispatched for the learned man.
Hope now increased their hilarity. Hi
larity Increased their drinking. Drinking
led them to banter each other upon their
ignorance. And joking upon that tender
point ui5imately led to iil-ieeing. High
words OF wrath ensucd, and quickly iol-
lowing came divers challenges TO See who
was the best (namely worSt) man aad
forth issued the half intoxicated mob oi
raviDg Nightmares, and incoutinently
pitched iuto euch other, ira grand free
iis ht ali round the post-olice- such u fisht
;s cay only be achieved by the wild and
reckless men Of the far Southwest.
Such gou5ing, biting, swearing, hug
-ging, tumbling, yelling, rolling, battcilng,
bruising aud bleeding, as was then and
there INDUCED in, had never before been
witnessed in that part of our glorious
country. For more than an hour 1t con
tinued, when, from sheer exhaustion, the
pictorial com batanls, to the number Of !
fifty or sixty, assisted, IN !, niosl oxtraor-
diLary flist OF blood, airl and rassj and