Mineral Point weekly tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1859-1868, 1863-08-26
All Sorts of Items.

Not amiss-a rich and lovely widow.
A well read soIdier-Private information.
-Sleight of hand-refusing an offer of
| marriage.
The thoughts of certain women are al
ways fixed on the opposite sex. Even when
they laugh they say ''Te-hei"
- Wedding garden is a safer business
than unweeding widow, but not half so
pleasant.
= Miss Jemima WilhelminG, when her pa
rents refuse to allow her to go to ball, sets
to and has a bagL at home.
- In returning thanks, in an after-dinner
speech, Brown declared that he was 4" too
full for utterance."
- The man that is not afraid of thunder
talks of going to the seaside next week with
out asking his wife.
The young lady who eloped some time
since with gallant major has returned
with 'mnor" :" her arms
"A braying donkey however stupid he
may look, is unquestionably an toot ami
NAL.
White hair is its chalk with which time
keeps its score-two, three, or fourscore, as
the case may be-on mans head
People sometimes speak of baby as if
it were a kind of medal bestowed by fate
upon man for early hours and good conduct.
1t is little troubles thai wear the heart
out. 1t is easier to throw a bombshell mile
than feather-even with artillery.
There is sort of comfort in the way
wardness of discomfort, soothing music to
the restlessness of the soul in the deep bass
of hearty grumbling.
Man creeps into childhood, bounds into
youth, sobers into manhood softens into age,
into the cradle prepared for US all.
- If pair Of stockings are hose, is sim
gle stocking hoe? If a pair of glasses are
spectacles, is one spectacle And if so, is
it not bad show for sight
= Health comes of itself; but we are at
great pains to get our diseases. Health
comes from a simple life of nature; diseases
from the artificial life ofnature.
- ''That cat has got cold, said a friend
to Jones, pointing to a domestic favorite.-
Yes" Jones replied, " the poor thing is sub
ject to cat-arrh-"
We are acquainted with monster in
human form who says that the only time a
woman does not exaggerate is when she is
talking of her own age.
"A man came into a printing Office to beg
a paper. 8 Because" he said, I'VE ike to
read newspapers very much, but our neigh
bora are all too stingy to take one"
-Curran was once asked by o. e of his
brother judges, ''Do YOU see anythin; ridieu-
lous in this wig ?" Nothing bua the head,
the reply.
A paragraph has been going the rounds,
Of an old lady who has a moustache on her
lip. 1t Is not uncommon for young ladies in
this vicinity TO have moustaches Their bps.
- A man may be ever so poor, he may be
ever SO unfortunate, but he never need be
hard up for candles as long as he makes light
, Of his sutferings.
-"I hope to live to see the day" said
Lord Brougham, when every peasant in
England can understand Newton" Wouldn't
it be better that they had little bacon first? ?"
/ inquired Cobbett.
esMy party, sir, will not lie in idleness,p
| SAID politician. Every true, SIR retorted
his opponent, "your pa-ty is never chargeable
either with lying in idlencss or with idleness
| in lying"
= Mans feelings are always purest and
| most glowing at the hour of meeting and fare
| well; like the glaciers which are transparent
| and rosy hued only at sunset, but throughout
the day gray and cold.