The Portland daily press., 1863-04-18
MISCELLANY.
From the Cambria Tribune.
A Ward meets BOileau.

Wun ov the PolctS, forglt witch wun, SEE
"the proper study OF mankind is man - but
to understand human natur perfectly requires
sum nollege of the other animals, ez fur in
stance snaix! There's CRATE eel oy snaix in
human natur, as there's also CRATE eel of hui
man natur in snaix,
Speakin oy snaix, reminds me ov incident
which happened TO me the other day. L WOE
q travelling in the cars, wen a man cum i'm
with a countenance witch looked ez if it he'd
been bilei and the skum not properly tuck off,
He was accompanied by very young man in
a very durty shute OF close. The young man
starred hard at me, whereupon l sed, in my
most insinnooatn manner, "Yure sarvnt, sur;
du yu Sc eny thing green about me?"
Neigh, revrent sur" he replied, permit me
to INTRODUCE to yu patriot"
"Wheer abouts ?" seq l.
"Hur," seq he, pointin to his companion,
@this, sur, is Mister Ba,loo."
"Air you emmy waze related to Huly Bal
loop seq /. This was spoke sarcasticle, fur i
hate travelling patriots like dog-pi)
"Nothing to speak on" SEE he, Il am sim
ply umble patriot
"How much kin you make week at it?'
SEE !, iii its followed up well p
"Sur," sed he, Il am surprised at sutch
leverty. make woonds by it, sur also strips,
likeways imprisingments. l hev bin incarce-
mated in fortris Lafayette, sur"
AuutQt. stL Il.
"Yes SUR SEE he, Il wos incarcenated in
that fedral bastill, becoz void not ebay IL
rannickle government"
'sSnmpthink like Jno. w. Hampton" sed |,
sven he obdjected TO settling his skule tax?
Its rayther singuler TO find a pease man who
is also patriot | shuld like to hev yure wax
fgger in my show"
You fiatter me" SEE he.
"Not a tall, seq l. "Wot other bizness du
you foller wen times is dull?s
Il am nedtur," SEE he. Il tole Mr.. Link
nm wet thort ov him, sur, in my paper, sur.
tole him the wor wos unholy wor. That
the rebis wos fitin fur thare burthrites an
the constitution. That j. Davis wos crate
man, aud nobody couldn't stop him. apeled
tn the peple, sur, / tole them tn arize in their
mite an majesty, hurl A. Linkun from power
IN AIDE the South IN hur noble effort tn save
the Union. Fur this, sur, wos incarcentra-
ted In dungeon
"How did yu git out?' seq L "wos yu let
loose on the rit OF Hocus Pocus ?"
ANeigh sur" sed he. Il wos deprived of
my constitutional rite tn that rit, witch wos
arrested from King John by the bowld barrens
at Rennymeede, an witch hez bin wottered by
the blud ov our sucks an antsisters."
But how did you git out ?" seq |.
The majesty ov the staff ov Pennsilvanier"
he continnered, "hez bin a verlated in my
~
dered by w. H. Penn, in peaceNkitch wos
purchest by him frum the mobile red men ov
the Forrest
"Ingins is pizen wheresever found" SEE /.
show did yu git out?'
"The Legislator ov my natyve stait," he
continnered, sis resoyin-the Legislator ov
my natyve staff is going to avenge hur vier-
lated suvvereignty-
my fren," seq l, "putriotic fen, kyerb these
hites ov inauguration, subdoo these fours ov
retterick. an inform me, o, inform me,
''iet me not burst in ignorantz,"
but inform mellow did you git out?"
SEE he, very short, Il void not bough down
an take the OATH Iwos releaced on my pay
roll ov honor"
.You awdacious cuss.n said |, ga mitey site
meaner than Limburg cheese is yure pay roll
OF homer. Wy, sur, my immortal little mon
key is smart kompared to yu. Ny kobra
wouldn't associate with you. Ny wax flgger
OF Smith the wife murderer, wuld skorn tn
war ynre close. Wy, sur, it air a privilege TO
take the othe of alegance. / take it, sur. in the
mornin when rise aud brethe the are of free
dom. take il wen I've down at mite Sc
kure In the protecshun of my country, adj
minister the othe 10 my famerly. | teech il TO
my innocent children. Yu a patriot! Shadder
of G.. Washington defend US Ii the sovereign
~ ov yure natifi staff is lodged in yure person,
in my opinion thares miety little to keep it
from falling tn the ground. Vile yu air loose
sur, onest men hev no pleasure in bein free.
Wen yu air tuekt up-then onest men air Sc
kure. Ny son--Andrew jackson Ward sur,
Is corporal in the army OF the Union. He
martches mex TO the man who kerrys the flag.
The rebels ma shoot at him, but his dooty is to
hold on his fire till the last momint for the de-
fence OF that glorious flag. An vile them ig-
orient rufhns air evelin thare guns at hiz man
ly brest W. sur and sutch Abandoned cow
ardly villins yu, sur, air tellin' EN- WHARF
to aim. Yu air telling them to stand thare
ground, an TO fire on the Stars an Stripes
witch my son may even now be barring proud
ly in the face ov The foe. Ii IOrved yu rite,
sur, would take yu by the scruft of yur
worthless neck an the sete ov yur close, kerry
you out onto that platform an drop yu onto
the tract, wen the kars Guild mangle yure rot
ten flesh, an grind yure disreppytable bones
TO powder SEE he, lookin kind o'skeert
"The Legislator ov my natiff state"
"Cuss the Legislator of your natif state. y
SEE l. II hev no stitch snaix In my show
South Carlna adopted the ratte-snaik as ar
emblem ov hur suyerignty-but ynre leggis
latoor heZ chuze a meaner an more deadlel
reptyle--the copperhead. My feeble opinion
Is, sur, aither w. Penn diddent get a good ii
tie, or he left no legittermate ares an the suv
erignty of yure natill staff hez reverted to the
pizen lngns agin, witch woz the oridginal pos
sessors.n
Here the whistle blode for Johnstown, ware
got out and exhibited my morl entertain
ment, at the yusual price, to a large an trooly
patriotic audgence ov American cityzens.
THE ScHooLBoYs AND THE PRINcE.-A
the marriage of the Prince of Wales tel
young English lads at school in Bonn. sent tn,
following congratulatory wish to Windsor Cas-