Columbia Democrat and Bloomsburg general advertiser. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1850-1866, 1863-12-05
SELECT SKETCH.
UPS AND DOWNS OF LIFE.
DY A QUILLDRIVEn

"PRoaorIoN We learn from irrcfragi-
hle authority, "comoth neithcr from the
East nor from the West nor yet from the
South; nor yet (sincc the time when the
gront Lord North welded his pen Of office
IN Downing street, from the North Pro-
motion, like a will-o -the-wisp, whisks
about hithcr and thi:hcr-bero to-day and
gone to morrow-no Que knows why-no
one caros--no other guesscs whcrefore.--
History hoaps up her volumes on our
shelves 10 instruct us why people arc born
great; but why what magic people have
greatness thrust upon them, or achieve
greatness, is one of the grand mysteries of
life. Bishops have been promoted 10 lawn
sleeves for their doXterity in shutllug the
cards at royal rubber Welsh Bayonets
have been translated Irish Peers, to ST.
lcnce their importantly Tor key Of tho
royal parks; and English squivos have
been belorded and bolauded for the judic.
iously appropriated hospitallties Of their
country seats. We have seen Mirtllo
preferred to and under secrotaryship, not
that his pen is that Of o ready writer, but
because Mirtillo hath "upon my life a very
pretty wife !" In short, it is impossible to
determine, by a any yu gar form Of angu-
ry, which Of our sons may rise to be chief
justice, which remain brielcss barristor.
Hang over the cradles of your progeny as
long rs you will, and the wooden spoon or
silver ladle which tho wise womon OF Brent
fcrd pretended TO be born in their mouths,
is wholly and absolutely undiscoverablc.
Ned Ormond was my school-fcllow, an
ugly dog, an ignorant dog, but knowing
dog; every possible examination was be
slowed upon Ned D., except that of bong q
stupid hound - lie was "up to snuff
but always at the bottom OF his class. We
were Ounces of neither Harrow. Eton, mol
Westminster it was our fate to be fog.
gGd up the Bill Of learning along less dis
,inguishcd path. Our short.sighted par
ents thought more of making Greek yer
ees than English connections; and, n
fourteen VIC quilted our hugo red-bricl
house of correction at Chiswick, knowing
pothing-not even lord.
Unfortunately, | had parents alivc-ant
alive to my Deficiencies; for having, il
family council, voted Inc Ounce Of tn
first magnitude, they dispatched mo t.
Edinburg for the completion Of my cduca
ton, under the cross grained vigilance o
nh old uncle occupying ProIcssor's chai
who for four ensuing years crammed nj
with knowledge, and crammed we will
naught beside. My kinsman spared every
thing but instruction; and l according !.
grew up as spare as he was sparing, till
starved into jockey-wcight of flesh anc
Johnsonian Ionderosity of learning,
quilted Edinburg at two and-twenty, Il
promising young sprig of a pendant a
ever emanated from its humanities,
Ned Ormond, meanwhile, who was a
orphan, bulliod his guardian into sending
hin to Cambridge, The expense of sue
step was alarming, for his FORUM
amounted only to six thousand pounds
but Ned represented, and with commas
Sance de cauSe, that there was no gettin
on life without college education.
Old Russet, the guardian, who alread
IN his minds eye, behind his promisin
ward playing Paris in an academic gov
making option between the paked charm
OF tbs three black graccs, Law, Phy7i'