The Buchanan County guardian. (Independence, Buchanan County, Iowa) 1858-1864, 1863-09-29

he, Yes, | have, old hoss-hy, he was
low cuss yes, l have a mind, says he
that balances in any direction that tn
public rekires. That's wot l call well
balanced mind. l sold out and bid ado
to Billson. He is now an outcast in tn
State of Vermont. The miser'ble maj
once played Hamlet There wasn't an,
orchestry, and wishin' to expire to slov
moosic, he died playin' on claironet
himself. interspersed with hart.rendin
groans, and such is the world Alars
alars how onthankful we air to tha
Providence which kindly allows us t,
live and borrow money, and fail and dc
bzniss.
But to return to our subjeck, with oul
resunt CRATE triumps on the Mississippi
the Father of Waters land them is wa
ters no Father need feel ashamed Of
twig the wilikism y and the cheerin
look Of things in other places, l reckon
we shan't want any Muslum of Harris
And what upon airth do the people oI
Concord, n. H., want Muslum of Harts
for? IIain't you got the State House
now, IL what more do you want
But all this is furrin TO the purpuss Of
this note, arter all. NY objeck in now
addressin' you is to give you sum ad.
vice, friend Wales, about managin
your wife, bizniss I've had over thirty
wears experience in.
You hau. a good weddin'. The apers
hay a good deal 20 say about wilkins
in connection tharewi,h. Not knowings
what that air and so l frank.'y tells you,
my noble lord dook of the throne, | can't
zactly say whether we had 'em or not
We was both very much Illustrated. But
never injoyed myself better in my life
Dowtless. your supper was ahead of
our'n. As regards eatin' uses Baldins-
vile was alters shaky. But you can git
a good meal in New York, y cheap TOO.
You can git half macksii at Deimopi.
cos or Mr.. Mason Dory's for six dollars,
and billed pertaters throw'd in.
AS | sed, | mango my wife without
any particler trouble. When fust
commenst trainin' her | institooted a
series Of experiments, and them as didn't
work abanding'd. You'd better do
similer. Your wife may objeck TO git
TIM up and bildin' the fire in the morn,
in, but if you commence with her at
once YOU may be able TO overkum this
preiooodiss. | regret to obsarye that |
didH'i commence arly enuff. wouldn't
have you s'pose was ever kicked out
Of bed. Not at all. | simply say. In
regard to bildin' fires, that didn't com
mence arly enuf. 1t was ruther cold
mornin' when | fust proposed the idee
to Betsy. Ii wasn't well received, aud
| found myself layin' on the floor putty
suddent! thought I'd git up and bid
the fire myself.
OF course now you're married you can
eat onions. | allus did, and if l know
my own hart, allus will Ny daugh.
ter, who is goin' on II and is.frisky says
.hey's disgustin. And speakin of my
daughter reminds ME that quite mum
Der of young men have suddenly discov.
cred that I'm very entertainin' old fel-
Ter, and they visit us frequently. spec
tally on Sunday evenins. One young
chap-a lawyer by habit-don't cum as
much as he did. Ny wife's father lives
with us. His inteilek totters a little,
and he saves the papers containin' the
prooeedins OF our State Legislator. The
old gen 'l'man likes to read out loud, and
he reads tol'ble well. He eats hash free
ly, which makes his voice clear but as
he onfortnilly has 10 spell the most of his
words. l may say he reads slow. Wall,
whenever this lawyer made his appear
ance l would set the old man a.readn'
tho Legislativ' reports. l kept the
young lawyer up one night till le
o'clock, listening to lot Of acts in re-
gaid to a drawbridge away OFF in the
east part of the State. havin' sent my
darier 10 bed at half past 8. He hasn'
bin there since. and l understan he say
| 60 io4nd swindiin' the Public.
never attempted to reorganize my
wife but once. | shal, never attempI
agip. I'd bin 10 public dipIer. and
had allowed myself to be betrayed into
drinkin' several peoples healths and
wishin' TO make EN- the robustus posi-
BILE. ! continued drinkin' their healths
until my own became affected. Conse
kens WAS, presented myself at Betsy''
bedside late st night With consid'bls
Ticker concealed about my person.