Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-10-13

| H"n tHo OLDce without waiting TOT efntEy
dollar subscription she expected toteceise
from rs. Months will pass swaybeEae
she will call again. Our wives repice at
the rupture, for Mrs. Smith is fasciating,
aud the ladies' all know l..
The Deaf Aunt and Deaf vie.
had an aunt coming to visit be for
the first time since my marriage, aud
don't know what evil genius prohpted
the wickedness which perpetratedtoW-
| ards my wife and ancient relative.
My DEAR said to my wife, on tie daJ
before my aunt's arrival, you know Annt
Mary is coming Tomorrow; we'll forRt4 50
mention rather annoying ciroumssAs zee
with regard to her. She's Ue1y 6eat-and
although she can hear my voice, tOEhich
she's accustomed, in its ordinary tore, yet
you will be obliged to speak extremity loud
in order to be heard. 1t will be raher in-
Convenient, but know you will d every
thing in your power to make Ter stay
agreeable.
then went to John f, VIII, loves a
joke as we'll as any person I know of, told
him to be at my house at O'Clock on the
following evening, and felt comparatively
happy.
went to the railroad depot With car
rsige next night, and when vas on nv
way home with my aunt, said
~ dear aunt, there is one rather an
noying infrmity that Anna (my wife) has,
which l forgot to mention before. She's
very deaf; and although she caH hear my
voice, to which she is accustomed, in ITS or
binary tones, yet you will be Obliged to
speak extremely loud. 10 order to be heard,
| am very sorry she is co. Aunt NARY.
in the goodness of her heart, propsted
that she rather liked speaking loud, and
that to do SO would give her great pleas
ure.
l handed out my auDt-she ascend.d the
steps
4 am delighted to see you.' shrieksd nv
wife, and the policeman on the opposite
walk started, and my aunt nearly fell down
the steps.
Kiss me, my DEAR howled nv aunt;
and the hall lamp clattered, and the wins
dow SD ook as with fever and ague-I look.
ed at the wind0w-John had disappeared
Human nature could stand it no longer.
poked my head into the carriage and went
into strcng cOuVulsiOns.
When l went into the parlur, nv wife
was helping Aunt Mary to take of her hat
and cap; and there sat John with his leng
face Of woe.
Suddenly. Did you have pleasant jour.
ney? went of my wife like a pistol, and
John T nearly jumped to his feet.
Rather dusty! was the response, in
war whoop, so the conversation contin-
ued-
The neiG hbOrs for blocks around must
have heard it; when l was in the third rto-
~ Ut the building heard every word plain
ly.
In the course of the evening my aunt
took occasion to say to me
How loud your wife speaks-don't it
hurt herr
l told ha- al ,IuuI persons spoke loudly,
and that my wife being used to il, was
not affected by the exertion, and IT, at
Aunt Mary was getting alIDg finely With
Ter.
Presently my wife said softly
'Alf., how very loud your aunt talks
Yes, said |, oil deaf persons do. You
are getting along nicely, she hears every
word you say And l rather think phe
did.
Elated by their success at being under
stood, they went at it hammer and tougS,
till everything on the mantle piece clat-
tered again, and / was seriously afraid
of a crowd collecting in front of the
house.
But the end was near. My aunt being
OF an Investigating turn Of mind, was desir-
Gus OF finding out whether the exertion of
talking 50 loud, was not injurious to my
wife. So
Doesn't talking so loud strain YOUR
lungs? said she, 10 an unearthly boot, for
her voice was not as musical as it was when
she was young.
1t is On exertion,' sbrieked nv wife.
Then why do you do itp was the an
swering scream.
'Because-you can't hear if DON'T
squalled my wife.
What ! my aunt fairly rivalling q rail-
road whistle, this time.
began to think it time to evacuate the
premises, and locking around and seeing
John gone, stepped in the parlOr, and
there he lay, fiat ON his back, rolling from
SIDE to side, with his fists poked into bis
ribs, and most agonised expression of
countenance, but not uttering q sound. /
Immediately and inroluntariIy assumed
similar attitude, aOd think from the rela-
tive position of our boots and beads, and
our attempt to restrain our laughter apo
plexy must have inevitably ensued, If a
horrible groan in which John gave vent to
his endeavor to suppress bis visibility, had
not betrayed our hiding place.
In rushed my wife and aunt, who by this
time comprehended the joke; aud such q
seolding as / then got never got before,
and hope never to get again.
L know not what the end might have
been if John, in his endeavors to appear
respectful aud sympathetic, had not given
vent to such diabOlical noise, something
between groan and horse laugh, that
all gravity was upset, and we screamed IN
concert.