Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1863-12-10
Warietp.
Inn all forners hlacksmiths /?


paeach by example.
MORTIFIED pride often takes the name
and guise OF broken heart.
Mosr men love the conflicting sex, and
all men love to be told they do.
In the race for wealth, we tug, and
toll, and boil to arrive-nowhere.
WHAT is chronology, Mr.. w, Well
it is sort of account current with F"''e'
Time.
A great mind. wffhou' 'ne nu'''o'' "
adversely, would starVe'
WE confess small faults by way Of in.
situation that we have great ones.
Is spiritual consultation" drowning
care by drinking
IF men will but amuse the world, it
will freely forgive them for cheating it.
WHEN men are long indifferent towards
us. we grow Indifferent to their indiffer'
ence.
IT is said to be misprision Of treason
to ask q soldier to take dinner and desert.
WOMEN can keep secret; but it gener-
ally takes good of them to do it.
THERE are two kinds OF family jars; in
TO one you put your sweet meat, and in
to the other you put-your foot.
The career OF mankind collectively is
q chronicle of human folly; that Of Eng
land Of Hume and Smollet.
THOSE two Englishmen who discover.
ed the source of the Nile should come
ever here and discover "the ditch"
The vanity Of human life is like riv-
er, constantly passing away, and yet con-
stantly coming on.
To excel in any thing valuable is great,
but to be above conceit on account OF
ones accomplishments is greater.
Dick JUMPER thinks his master, the
spirit merchant, must be very righteous
man, for he boptizes all his liquor casks
freely.
The Portland Press recommends that
pork be made the standard of value. now
that gold has become myth. A capital
representative of the ready rhino.
A LYING institute has been opened in
Ohio where young men are taught to
edit Abolition papers in three easy les
sons, of an hour each.
AN undertaken is advertising q new
kind of coffin, which, he ssys. is "strong
ly recommended by the faculty." The
best persons to know.
PLEASURES is to woman what the sun is
20 flowers; if moderately enjoyed. it
beauties, it refreshes, and it improves; if
imm oderately, it withers, it deteriorates,
aud destoys.
"FIGdERs wont lie, wilt they?" mutter-
cd seedy genius, holding on to lamp
post. "Vell, perhaps they wont; but Pse
a figger as wont stand, any how.
OLD Sir James Perrng was remon-
strated with for not rising earlier. II
can make up mind to it," he said but can
not make up my body
The lassie that "dropped her eyes to
the ground" the other day, by the assis-
tance of derrick, has had them raised
to their proper position.
HOOP says that artistic enthusiasm is
like tufle soup-for one quart of real
there are hogsheads Of false and calves
heads in proportion.
HARD speech between those who have
loved is hideous in the memory, like the
sight of greatness and beauty sunk into
vice and rags.
IL AM astonishing, my dear young Ia
dy. at your sentiments, you make me
start" "Well, said Sallie, l have been
wanting you to start for the las hour"
"Mn. Smithers, how can you sleep so?
The sun has been up these two hours. p
"Well, what if he has He goes to bed
at dark. (hic) while Pm (hic) on ben
der till after (hio) midnight"
A splendid specimen of orthography is
seen in tho window of beer house in the
neighborbood of Sheep street, Birming
ham, viz Table Beer Sowld Hear tup-
pens a Cwart."
A youngster on coming home from his
first term at boarding school, and on
being asked what he had been fed on, re-
piled multiplication table hashed.
and stewed subtraction"
A miserable bailifl, in England, camc
into possession of baronetcy, aud desi.
ring an appropriate "coat of arms"
adopted one. representing a tin plate.
over which was placed fork, signifying
"fork over the tim"
HABITS influence tho character pretty
much as under. currants influence vessel;
and whether they speed us on the way of
our wishes, or retard our progress. their
effect is not the less important because
imperceptible.
Horace MANN very beautifully re-
marked tha brothers tender relation to
sister was, designed by Heaven as q
preparation and prophecy of that holi-
er relation for which one shall forsake
father and mother, and brother and sister,
HERE is an English epitaph. vouched
for as genuine, by John b. Cough
"Sacred to the memory Of Miss Martha
Grim; she was 40 very poor within, she
burst the outward shell of sin, and hatch
ed herself Cherupin"
THERE are two classes Of disappointed
lovers--those who are disappointed be
fore msrriage. and the more unhappy one
who are disappointed after the marriage
GRIEF knits two hearts in closer bond
than happiness ever can, and common
sufierings arc far stronger links than com