The weekly Butte record., 1863-01-24
The Newspaper Convention
BY E A. N.

ute pals to all bat news OF moment, and,
again, seasons in which things Of Indirect or
lesser importance usurp the sole attention in an
array of newspaper columns. l leave it to the
readers Judgment as to which state of mind
predominated iu me the other evening, when
sat down to peruse the news of the day, and
perceived a stainless breadth of paper, except
where the gaunt visages of sundry paragraphs
pleaded the paper famine. Save your scraps
of paper" Be more economical in the use of
paper " In consequence Of the high price OF
paper, advertising and subscription rates must
greatly advance thus rar the burden OF
each lament" \ more rotund aspect, and
self-satis6ed air of advice was reflected, howev-
er, from an article resurrecting the old sugges-
ton of State Editors Convention" under
the more comprehensive title OF & Publishers
Convention
Quoth l. aloud " The devil dies in dumb de-
spair when the satellites of the Faustian art so
far agree as to form minor and major divisions
on anything the human mind propounds"
The last word had just glided from my
tongue, when l, suddenly became aware Of the
presence of, what seemed to be, blurred i'm.
preston Of person; such shape as may be
! sometimes seen fossilized in condensed stratum
of San Francisco fog.
/ The figure exclaimed, with the unboisterous
demeanor of California newsboy. Would
you ike copy of the Seventh Sphere Spec
trum, sir? 1t has got reports of the great
Newspaper Convention, thirty days in advance,
sir"
What may be the price of the treasure;
note at thirty days ?" suspiciously and ironi-
cally queried.
One brief truth, sir" like sudden gust of
wind, nearly upset me.
Thunder! You are spirit then? ?" 1
I asked.
Yes sir, we are spirits. got stuck with
this copy of the Spectrum and came down TO
sell it. Will you purchase, sir"
We are spirits" 1 mentally though trem-
blngly repeated, with a thought TO the implied
lower stratus while bewdered in an attempt
to establish corporeality. finally subsidized
into benumbing identity-and a belief in a
grammatical mishap.
Recovering my composure, I said, 1t is a
bargain open wide your ears for the brimming
measure OF remuneration Know We, then that
the coming comet the coming man., and
I tho { nd
poned, because Jenkins has but thread bare
chance to encircle them with bounteous lace.
work of eulogy. Progress has become an icy
statue for want of life nurturing rags, and Hope
lies as lack ustrous as a spiders toe nail, in
an invisible coming rag bag. Publishers are
looking dark and their sheets darker Yet the
jewel intelligence will beam, even though it
has but setting of pewter and putty"
Good-by," said the misty youth.
Halo" | shouted, " why do you carry of
that street lamp and its supporting post %
Ho ho! ho !" rang the merry voice, this
amt street lamp nor a post; its my new
chum Plato. The light is his nose-hes fond
of spirits We are going on lark"
"Ohr y l exclaimed, relieved of an appre-
hension, We"
What did you say, sir ?" came from the
distance.
Merely hurting French blessing after
you" replied, evasively commencing to read
the reports of the convention.
{ - Iii -, IL
the extraction of half candle and placing
of the clock hand two hours ahead, which NAL
fesance | discovered before cropping my new
purchase on awakening in the morning but
thanks to good memory, can still give you the
most important proceedings of the Newspaper
Convention
After the orgaization, Spraggs, of the Con
servatiye Missile" stated that be had seen
poems, acrostics, and other compositions, that
read as we'll backward as forward, and occa-
sionally with an opposite meaning following
the inversion.
Tubbs, of the Butternut Peacemaker," ;" ma
liciousy calculated, that Spraggs must have
been lately reperusing some of his own edito.
rials.
Without noticing the interruption. Spraggs
continued, that he thought newspaper articles
might be thus condensed one half, and advised
the editorial friends to extend the art to their
regular writings
Mibbles, of the Rightsde Independent"
remarked that a great deal of condensation
might be given to an editorial, by proper use
of material advantages arising from ambiguous
language. He fattered himself that, although
the politics of his locality were shared by three
separate parties, yet he had not written an
article that was not satisfactorily looked upon
by each class Of politicians as a covert favor TO
their peculiar principles one editorial being
thus as good as three special articles.
Plohius. of the " Daily Bellows" surrested