davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1863-03-27
A Contented Farmer.

Once upon time, Frederick, the King
of Prussia, surnamed "old Fitz," took q
ride, and espied an old farmer plonghing
his acre by the wayside, and eheerily sing
ing.
You must be well of, old man." said
tie king, does this acre belong to you,
on which you so industriously labor"
M. Sir, replied the farmer, who knew
not the king; Il am not so rich as that
i Tough for wages"
How much DO yOu get a day?' asked
the king.
Eight grOschen,' (a5out 20 cents,) re-
piled the farmer.
That is not much" replied the king
can you get along with it. ,"
"Yes, get along, and have something
left
How is that ,"
The farmer smiled. and said
We'll, If must tell you-two groschen
are for myself and vile, two l pay my old
debts with. two lend away, and two give
away for the Lords sake
"This is a mystery which cannot solve
replied the king.
Then | viii solve it for yOu," said the
farmer.
Il have two cd parents at home, WHO
kept me when was weak and needed help :;
and now that they are weak and need help,
keep them. This is debt, toward which l
pay two groschen a day. The third pair of
groscaen, which lend away. l spend for nv
children, that they may receive Christian in
struction. This viii come handy 10 me and
MY wife when We get old. With the two
las: sTOsohen. maintain my two sick sisters,
whom would net ne compelled TO keep
this | give for my Lords sake"
4" R:aveiy spoken. old man. said the king.
Now | viii also give Won something 10 guess
Have you eyer See. me before -
"Neyef," SAID The farmer
d" In less ih2n five minutes YOU shall see
me fifty limss, AMI carry in Your pocket fifty
of nv hkeae>sSeS''
TINS is a riddle which cannot unravel,"
said the farmer.
Then VIII do ii for yoa,' replied the
king.
Thrusiing his hand into his pocket, and
counting him fifty bran new gold pieces into
his hand, stamped with his royal likeness, he
said to tie a>ioni>hed farmer, who knew not
wha: Was coming:
The coin is genuine, for it also eomes
from our Lord God, and l am his paymaster.
bid YOU adieu -
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1863-03-27
Health of the Army.

Among the most interesting reports made
70 Congress just before its adjournment was
one from Surgeon General Hammond in re-
gard to the health and mortality in the army
of the Union for the year ending with last
june Ii shows that the health of Our SOL
dlers was much better than is generally sup
posed. The report is compiled from regi-
mental and brigade reports representing on
an average of 2Sl $50 men, the number
beng largest in April, 1862, when the whole
:orce reported was about 100000. From the
annual mean strength, S0,0Sl cases of dis.
'ase and 1923 deaths are reported, exclu
s.ve of the slain in battie-being in the
ratio Of 1924 cases and 65 deaths per 1,OOC
Of mean strength. The figures will appea,
large but the report says it is doubted
whether the armies of any European nation
actually engaged in warfare, have ever pre-
santed so small proportionate mortality a.
v have been favored with. The chief dis
eases from which our troops have suffered
have been camp fevers, diarrhea and Olsen
terry, catarrhal affections of the respirator,
organs, rheumatism and measles aud in al
these diseases there has been a much les.
average fatality than prevails in active ar
mics abroad. One cause of the good health
Of the army is the comparative immunit,
from scurvy which our troops have enjoyed
only ,322 cases and s deaths from thi
maaay being reported. This favorable ex
hI0lt Is however qualified by the following
remark -
" In estimating the actual mortality pre-
d1ced by the war, however, it is only fair t
add to these satisfactory considerations tn
statement that the liberal freedom with whic
discharges have been granted to sick an
disabled soldiers has no doubt sent hom
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1863-03-27

sas, the other to Texas. The wife of the
former wished to 60 to Texas, the latter tC
Arkansas. The husbands were desirous oi
gratifying their spouses, but could devise no
plan that seemed likely to prove satisfactory,
till one day when hunting, finding game
scarce they sat down upon log, when the
following dialogue took place:
"kit, I'm sort O. pestered about Dilsie.
She swars to Rackensack she'll go, and no
whar else. | alters had a hankerin' arter
Texas. Plague take Rackensack, say! Ef
man war thar, the ager and the earthquakes
| d shake him Out On it quicker'n nothin'."
"When womans set on gwine anywhar,
they're gwine. It's jest no use to talk. I've
coaxed Minnie moren little to go long with
me to Arkansas, and the more | coax the
more she wont 60"
"Well, Kit, 'sposen We swap women"
"Well Sam, what :radell We gin"
"Oh! gentleman's trade, of course
"Shucks, Sam! 'sposen had young fl
ly,and you old mar, ye wouldn't ax an even
trade, would ye:?'
"No; it 'ud be too hard. l tell you what
III do, Kit. Here's shot gun that's wuth
ten dollars, eff it's wuth red. I'll give it
and that ar b'ar-skin hangin' on the side Of
my shanty to boot, and say it's trade
"Nuff sed, eff the women's agreed"
Home they went and stated the case to the
women, who, after due deliberation, acceded
to the proposition, having also made salts
factory arrangement about the children, and
they all went on their way rejoicing to their
respective destinations in that
Americans haven OF eterna! rest,
Found little further West
Tile Iron Furnace.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1863-03-27
" We'll. how do YOU like the looks of

We'll. how do you like the looks of TIE
varmint ?" sail south-EeSter' to down.
easter" who was gazing with round eyed
wonder. and evidently for the first time, al a
huge alligator, with wide opened jaws, on the
muddy banks of the Mississippi. wal
replied the Yankee, be amt what yeou NAV
call hansum critter, bu: he's got a great deal
of Opsmess when he smiles"
A red headed lover, in writing to q red.
headed girl, should take great care in word.
ing his letters. The less said about mutual
flame" the better
Dobbs says he has one of the most obedi.
ent boys in the world. He tells him to de
as he pleases, and he does it without mur
muring.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1863-03-27

THE OPINION OF AN AFRICAN CoNSERvA-
TlvE.-An old servant of one of the very
ariStocratic rebel families of Nashville. Tenn.
VINO hates " Lincolnites" and "poor white
trash " as heartily as JEFF Davis does, Was re-
Gently Witnessing a review of troops in that
city. Soldiers were moving about in great
numbers. regiments were forming 10 the
SOUND of lively music, and thousands of flags
iuttereG like fragments of rainboSs, from the
various buildings. The conservative contra
band paced slowly along. rolling his distend-
ed eyes in all directions, apparently over
whemed by the exhibition and hustle around
him. Approaching our friend, he exclaimed
What are We southern folks comm to
Muster said year ago. dat de Yankees done
gone away forever. Now dey is swarmn
about thicker dan locussus. Dey runs dere
boats on our river. Dey pressin all our mig
gers. Dey living in our houses. Dey drivin
our wagons. Dey ring our bells. Dey con-
tsca,in cur property. Dey eatin up meat
and corn. Dey done killed up NOSE all our
men: and spec dey are swine TO marry all
our widGerS"
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1863-03-27

many incurable patients, who would, in
other armies, have swelled the mortality
rates. The number of deaths which have
occurred among this class of cases subse-
quently to their discharge from the service
OF the United States, cannot of course be
ascertalned from any official records, and it
is doubtful whether it can even be satisfacto-
rily approximated."
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1863-03-27

ISFALLIBLE REMEDIEs-We have no faith in
quack medicines, but think it always best when
sick TO apply TO regular physician. There
are, however some, simple remedies, for Ger
tain disorders, which We can recommend as
infallible:
For sea sickness-stay at home.
For drunkenness-drink cold water.
For accident-keep out of danger.
For fear of sherifs-pay your debts.
To be happy-be honest.
To please all mind your own business.
To make money-adyertise.
To have good conscience-keep the COM
mandments.
To do right-take your home newspaper.
To prevent acknowledgement nothing
but the truth.
To sleep well-be industrious.
To have YOUR memory blsssed-pay the
printer.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1863-03-27
The YazOO Expedition.

The expedition which started through the
canal from the east side of the Mississippi to
force a passage through the swamps and
bayous into the Yazoo river, consisted of
three gunboats, two mortar boats and sever
al transports with troops and supplies.-
Their object is to capture and destroy the
rebel feet on the Yazoo, and also endeavor
to get in the rear of Vicksburg and cut of
the rebel connections eastward. The voyage
in the upper waters of the Yazoo has been
difficult and dangerous, and the progress
neeessarially slow. The expedition must
succeed in its object and force its way TO the
mouth of the Yazoo, or fail disastrously,
since it cannot return BY the way in which it
entered. A letter from the expedition, on
the Sd said -
The Coldwater river is but a slight i'm
provement on the Iazoo pass. 1t is a tritie
wider, it is true,-so wide, in fact, that the
branches seldom meet above it-but in other
respects We have gained nothing, so far as
ease of navigation is concerned. Rather We
have lost as much as We have gained, since
the increased width of the stream is coun-
teroalanced by the sluggishress of the cur
rent. The course of the stream is nearly as
tortuous as that of the pass, so that We can
not vet venture to steam ahead, and as float
ing and backing up continues to be the Or
der, the progress made is provokingiy slow.
The gunboat Petrol and rams Lioness and
Fulton have Joined US AMI been placed at the
head Of the line-the Petrol as an advance
gnard and to pick up cotton, with which to
make additional barricades for the light
draught sunboats. A plan has been devised
of SO disposing of cotton balls on these yes
sels as TO render them nearly as imIregnable
as the heavy iron-clads. We are moving d.
rectly into the heart of the most productive
cotton region of the South, and before reach
ing any point where we anticipate finding
any formidable batteries We shall have no
difficulty in finding all the cotton We want.
our force has also been increased by the ar
rival of two mortar boats. The huge 200
pound shells thrown by these monsters, ad-
ded to the heavy metal we are prepared to
throw in unlimited quantities from sundry
nine, ten and eleven inch guns, will have
startling effect on the nerves of the quiet
people of iazoo City. These mortar boats,
with the rams, bring our little expedition up
to formidable dimensions. If any anxious
anticipations were previously INDUCED in,
growing out OF the daring and almost reck-
less character Of this movement, they have
been entirely dispelled by these reinforce
ment>, and We now are all in excellent spir-
lis. and have not the slightest doubt OF our
ability to pass through the Iazoo river de-
spite any obstacles the enemy may oppose
to u.s."
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1863-03-27

tt- Hon. Schuv Ter Colfax has sent check
for S62:i.3I to the Indiana Commission for
the benefit of the sick and wounded soldiers
that sum being tie amount Of the third
mileage voted 10 him for the third session of
last Congress. The example is not a bad
one.
A soldier dying in one of the Washington
hospitals, had a blister applied between his
shoulders by the surgeon. The poor fellow
looked wasgishly al the doctor, and grimly
asked if man had 10 have reven1e stamp
on to him before he could be allowed to
die
An orator out West thus spreads himself
in town meeting on the subject of hydropho-
bia Il have hor> es and cattle, have sheep
and pigs, j have a wife and children, and
/ (rising higher a. the importance of the SUBJ
/ lect deepeaed in his estimationD, have mon
ey out at interest, dN Ia danger cf Lein' bi
by these internal dogs" :"
| The persons hercest ior peace appear to
have nothing TO propose except that the Fe-
deral government should lie quietly down
and tie. We wish they would quietly set it
the example.-LOusriNe Journal.
There are now nile thousand two hundred
ard thirty sick and wounded soldiers in the
military hospitals il and around Washing
ton.
BR1lsH SINFArHY.-Eng.and is SO much
gricved at our domestic troubles, that she
gives vent 20 II in fitting picate-teers.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1863-03-27

There is an lrishman employed as tr.dge
hand out west, on the Central railroad, who
brags of having time piece that keeps cor
rect time. He was heard to remark few
mornings since, upon pulling Out his watch,
q" If the sun amt over that hill in a minait
and a half, he VIII be late
The greatest mistake We make in our hu-
man relarons is interfering too much with
each others freedom. We are too apt to
think our way is the only way.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1863-03-27

What is the difference between the south
ern flag and an old fashioned silk pocket
handkerchief? One is bandanna and the
other a d-n banner.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1863-03-27

STAMPS On PRoMMISSoRY NoTEs.-As the
season for sales Of personal property is ap-
preaching, when large numbers of promisso-
~ notes are executed it may be interesting to
the public to know the scale of stamp duties
which the law imposes upon such notes. 1t
is as follows:
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1863-03-27

Can mans pocket be empty when he's
got something in it? Yes, when he has big
hole in it.
The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1863-03-27

The penalty for violating the law is
and the instrument is rendered invalid.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1863-07-03

what course should loyal men of West
Virginia pursue ? We want no compro-
mise We want no peace except upon the
terms that those in rebellion will Law
down their arms and submit to the reg
ulsrly constituted authority of the United
States. As Governor he should cooperate
with the Federal authorities in those
measures deemed necessary for the sup
preston Of this rebellion and do what
he could 70 advance the agricultural. min
ing and manufacturing interests OF the
State"
Senator Wiley made an an address, in
which he said that he had been in the
habit OF talking sometimes against our
armies and Generals In the field, and
against our national administration. He
quit doing 80 about two weeks ago, aud
did not intend to renew It till the war
should be over. We cannot get along if
we quarrel among ourselves. The Leg
islature subsequently, organized in the
usual msnhner, and Governor Foreman
was sworn into office.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1863-07-03
MIDNIGHT REPORT
st. Louis. July L

st. Louis, July /.
The Vicksburg correspondent of the
Democrat says that the conduct of the
troops during the operations in Logan.
front on the 25th was very brilliant. Al
soon as the mine exploded the 45th HI.
lnols, led by Col. Maltby, rushed into the
breach and planted the flag amid terrif
10 lire from the enemy. It. Col. Smith
shot through the head and cannot posi-.
bly, recover. Maj Tieke fell with ball
through his heart, being the third be had
received. A number of line officers oil
this regiment are understood to be among
the killed and wounded.
The g5th, a5th, 3Ist, oath, Esd and
goth Illinois and 18th Iowa participated
ia the assault. Gen. Leggett was in com.
mand OF the assaulting force and report.
cd slightly wounded.
Altar the entrance into the fort was
effected fighting WAS principally done
with hand grensdcs. which had terrible
sheet on the crowded deplorslized rebels.
1t. Col. Reeves, commanding the sis,
Illinois and Major Bry.dley, COMMANDING
dsd.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1863-07-03
Especial to Herald. I

carlisle, July j.
The last Of the rebels left here this
morning by the baltimore pike. They
number about 1900. The division un-
der johnson that encsmped two miles
west of Carlisle retreated precipitAtely
to Shippinsburg, leaving cooked rHtions
behind.
An order from Gen. Lee, dated Cham
bersburs, 9th, praises the troops for the
fortitude with which they performed the
arduous march. He exhorts the troops
to abstain. with most scrupulous care from
unnecessary or wanton injury to private
property and eDjoins all officers to srres
apd bring to summary punishment any
who offend his orders on this subject.
The rebels. on the occupation of Car
Isle, made requisition for large sup
ply of bacon, -four, salt, molasses, coffee
sugar and medicines The barracks wa,
not destroyed The railroads and tele
graphs we're much damaged The rebels
when here had regular mail communica
tion with Richmond, including newspa
pers.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1863-07-03
Harrisburg, july 2.

Last rebels left Carlisle yesterday morn
ing, and the town was occupied in the
afternoon by portion of our forces under
Gen. Smith At 5 clock large force
of rebel cavalry appeared and sent flag
of truce demanding our surrender, which
was refused. The rebels then opened on
the town with artillery. The rebel FIRE
was promptly replied to. The firing
continued at intervals till 10 O'Clock,
when the rebels fell back.
The rebels burnt the barracks, gas
works, one dwelling many buildings also
suffered from the rebel artillery. When
the rebels opened fire the excitement wa,
intense among the citizens-womsn and
children fed in all directions.
Gus loss is killed and IL wounded
Rebel loss unknown.
. Previous to the retirement the rebels
sent in another flag Of truce to leave as
they intended to renew the attack on the
next day
This morning the rebel pickets are
again in sight. Up to noon no news had
been received of q renewed attack.
No news from any other quarter.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1863-07-03
Heavy Firing heard near Carlisle
Gen. Sf0Al Relieped From
CossaMaNd.
ATTEMPTED ASSASSINATION OF
GOVERNOR YATES.
MRS. LINCOLN SEVERELY
INJURED.
New York. July 2.

New York, July g.
The Herald has the following:
H'dq'rt's Army OF the Potomac,
July, 1.
Reports from Sharpsbufg state that q
large force of rebels crossed The Potomac
River during the last few days, aud push-
ed on towards Boonsborough. South
Mountain remains in the hands of the
rebels Immense trains OF supplies have
been sent by the rebels into the Shauen.
dUxh valley The rebels occupied West
Minister yesterday. The Home Guard
offered resistance, aud lost a number
of men.
Sergeant Cline, Of the Sd, Ind, Cav.
with niue men, made dash into Ha-
gerstown capturing valuable rebel mail,
and eleven prisoners, letters Of great i'm
portance and furnished much desirable
information.
The Hsrald's Washington dispatch
states
Approximations are entertained that
Lees army may take up their lius of re-
treat from Maryland. and reach Washing.
ton before he can be intercepted by the
Union army. Great confidence is ex.
pressed in Gen. Meade, and it is hoped
be viii strike the rebel army ON its flank.
and destroy it before it can possibly re.
treat.
Pleasanton's force intercepted Stuart
cavalry and captured oil the supplies Sc
cured by him in his recent raid in this
vicinity.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1863-07-03

A few weeks since it was announced
that the Post Office Department, with q
view to economy in its operations, had
discontinued the distribution of mail mat.
ter at Toledo and ordered the work done
at Cleveland. subsequently the matter
was brought to the attention of the Post.
master General in such light that he
ordered commission of large number
of Special Agents Of the Department to
meet at Cleveland to examine and report
upon the relative advantages to the pub.
lie and the service, Of Toledo and Cleve.
land as points for Distributing Offices -
They mot on Wednesday last, and after a
careful examination, occupying two days
and Including full showings from the post
masters OF the two cities, the Commission
unanimously passed . resolution recon-
,nending the establishment Of Toledo
and the discontinuance of Cleveland al
such Office. The reports awaits the &C.
ton of the P. NJ. General. Toledo
Blade.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1863-07-03

HAD SEEN TEE ELEPHAsr.-One of
the rebel prisoners at Indianapolis on
Thursday last attempted to commit sui
eide BY cutting his throat. An order had
been msde transferring some of the pris
oners to Camp Chase, preparatory TO be-
ing returned to the rebels on exchange.
This one declared hs would die before be
would again become . member of the
rebel army, and on hearing of the order
he at once undertook to execute his pur.
pore. His life was despaired of, though
he had not yet died at the date Of the
dispatch, which adds that number oil
other prisoners have made similar declar.
ations. The rebel army mus be deIsct-
able position, when men who still refuse
TO take the oath Of allegiance. cut their
throsts rather than risk a return to it,
II must be "big elephant" and = terri.
bic sort Of one, too, which affects men in
that manner. Wonder how our Copper.
heads would fancy being "grsftsd into
that army! They seem to be doing wha,
they can 10 extend it in this direction.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1863-07-03
Baltimore, july 2.


The American this afternoon published
the following:
Headquarters Middle Department, July
9Th further orders ali citizens are
prohibited from keeping arms in their
possession unless enrolled as volunteer
companies for the defence of their homes
In accordance with the foregoing orders
dwellings of citizens will now be visited
by the Provost Marshal and police TO OBJ
tain arms in their possession.
We learn FROM gentleman no was
at Westminster and prisoner in the
hands Of the rebels during their sojourn
that the rebel party who had fight with
the Delaware cavalry was the advance
guard of Stuart and numbered 500. The
rebels lost two Lieulenan,s killed and fully
. dozen privstes wounded. Our loss WA
9 privates killed and % prisoners.
The rebels left Tuesday morning carly.
and few hours afterwards division Of
the Federal army reached town.