The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1863-04-09
The Nenosha Telegraph.
Rates OF Advertising.
To be personally great is to forget all p

To be personally great is to forget all per-
sonal greatness.
F'Short calls are best" as the fly said when
he alighted upon the hot stove.
The only silent sounds we know fare those
that belong to a Goldfish.
Should a man who stands on his own re
sponsibility be indicted for infanticide?
The young lady who took the gentleman's
fancy has returned it with thanks.
Why are hoops like obstinate men? Be
cause they often stand out about triaes.
The prosperousman who yields himself up to
temptation, bids farewell to welfare
Genius, grated on wonanhood, is in dan
ger of overgrowing it and breaking its stem.
When you are sure that you are sublime
take good heed to the next 'tstep."
There is no time spent with less thought
than q great part of that spent in reading.
1t is never more difficult to speak well then
when we are getting ashamed of our silence.
Even those who smoke and drink at the ex-
pense of others do SO still more at their own
A stethoscope is a pocket spy glass o rlook-
ing into peoples chests with your ears.
The moon is SO old that, if il is made of
green cheese, it is uuquestionably inhabited.
A riotous laugh is the moblaw of the tea-
lures, and propriety the magistrate who reads
the riot act. '
A horse dealer, describing a used up horse,
said he Cooked as if he had been editing a
country newspaper"
Admitting that horse-races improve the
breed of horses, it may be a fair question
whether they improve the breed of men.
.Let well alone" says the old adage. Not
So" says Smith the Surveyor, ''hut put a pump
over it at once" Smith will get on.
Bequeath to your wife as much money as
you can her second husband, poor fellow,
may not have a cent in his pocket,
A lady looks older for not confessing how
old she is. If she never allows her age to be
upon her tongue, it will show all the more in
her face.
man who avoids matrimony on account
of the cares of welded life, is compared to one
who would anlputate a leg to save his toes
from corns.
Far higher is the Office of the teacher, who
makes admirable men, than that OF the sculp-
tor or painter who makes admirable lmta-
tons Of them.
A man being asked, as he lay summing him
self on the grass, what was the hight OF his
ambition, replie1, ITO marry a rich widow
with a bad cough"
How many legs would a dog have if you
called his tail one p Give of course" "No;
only four. It wouldn't make his tail q leg to
call it one"
1t has long been known that Russia makes
one daily revolution around the pole, but on
ly recently established tht the pole purposes
are making one continual revolution about
Russia.
The Grand Rapids Eagle man says he
wouldn't mind the high price of wood so much,
if all his neighbors hadn't taken to the dis
gusting habit of locking their w~oodhouse
doors at night.
Men will have the same veneration for a
person who suffers adversely without dejec-
lion. as they will for demolished temples, the
very ruins Of which are reveranced and ador-
ed.
The great secret of happiness is to be on
good terms with one's self. AS all external
troubles throw us back upon ourselves, 1t IS
pleasant to find there a comfortable retreat
.-F0atGneAe.
Paragraphs in various papers in relation to
OIdLtlklG6 VI bllC hOlA hOiAC1 NC
Astounding Robbery" We occasionally see
cases of astounding honesty, but robblng no
longer astounds.-L0ujSUjUe Journal.
Aunt(handling young lady's abundant hair
-.'What a trouble, dear Kitty, your hair is
to one !" dear %Kitty-"Oh Aunty, if its a
trouble, why don't you put Kitty's hair IN
your drawer, just as you do with your ownF'
One of our hopeful militaires stumbled the
other evening while walking with a friend -
His companion said something about a.fonG
pas. Il didn't hurt my .io5e pow," said the
budding hero; Il only scratched my Sims
French sorrow and sentiment are illustra-
ted at Montmartre cemetery, where a tomb
stone has been erected with a colossal tear
carved on it, and the words underneath
Judge how we loved him!"
A COAX
Some simple folks lie down when it's dark,
And rise N the morning with the Itnnet ana
lark
While others there are Tor a lark who go.
And don't go to bed at all, you Anow.
One great and kindHng thought, from a re-
tired and obscure man, may live, when thrones
are fallen, and the memory OF those who hlI-
ed them is oblterated, and, like an undying
fire, illuminate and quicken all future gene
rations.
1t is a singular fact that many ladies who
know how to preserve everything else, cannot
preserve their tempers. Yet it may easily be
done on the selfsealing principle. 1t is only
to 'keep the mouth of the vessel tightly clos
ed -