Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1863-11-26


lever could put them on again. Harry and
george, who shared the same room, having |
ollowed Charleys plan, put on an extra touch |
3y sweeping their room and leaving the pile |
IF dust in the entry. "Excelsior!"
Three days experience convinced them |
that bachelors cookery was slow starvation.
Steaks and coffee for breakfast were followed
by coffee aud steaks for dinner, and both for
tea. Charley suggested that they should have
their meals sent from restaurant.
"All men cooks, so We stick to the con-
tract, was his final observation.
The motion was seconded, and carried by
an unanimous vote.
By this time every dish, plate, napkin, pot
and pan in the house was dirty, and oyfully
concluding that they wouldn't want them any
more, the gentlemen piled them up in the
kitchen sink, on the floor and tables and left
them.
Harry, it was Georges voice.
haven't got clean shirt. "
'Nor |. -"
"Nor l."
"Nor l."
"Nor handkerchief, nor a collar, nor a
pair of stockings, no."
Stop, Two weeks since Susy went, and
not washing day. D."
There was dead silence.
"Who Knows how to wash 2"
No answer.
"I-rve seen it DONE" said one faint
voice, owned by Charley. You soap the
things and rub them on a board. "
Can any body iron?"
They all thought they could manage that
part.
The kitchen was opened for the first time
in ten DAYS. One cry burst from five lips.
Tables, chairs, floor, dresser, sink, were one
mass of reaches, collected by the piles Of
greasy dishes. They overran every place.
9 Shut the door. Now for it" cried
George, and dashed at the invaders.-Bedlam
seemed to have broken loose. In reaching
after one of the critters" Charley upset
the table. Crash went the crockery.
Screams of laughter, cries of disgust, blows
thick as hail. comments on the heat, jokes,
warnings flow about an hour, and then the
painting party ceased from their labors, and
viewed sternly the " cold corpuses" Of their
foes. A scream from Minnie
"There's one down my back
George cricd-Joe, there's one on your
hair !"
Don't mentionit Look at that fellow on
your shirt-sleeve.
A general stampede for the bathroom fol-
lowed.
"Let's wash up here. "
No sooner said than done. The soiled
clothes were collected from all the rooms,
and the boards and soap brought up from the
kitchen.
Joe and Harry washed, blistering hands
and streaming foreheads testifying to their
efforts Cold water required great deal of
rubbing, and somehow things had a yellowish
tnge after all, as George remarked as he
wrung them out. Minnie, Directing to 60 in
the yard, hung them over the chairs in the
dining-room and the banisters in the entry as
fast as George and Charley wrung them out.
Dinner came, and. found them still at work.
Dinner eaten, the dishes carried off by the
waiter from the restaurant, they changed
places, and the washers wrung and hung up
the clothes while the others washed.
Six o'clock saw the last shirt hanging in
damp limpsiness over the parlor chandelier;
the handkerchiefs waved from the mantle
piece, and the stockings dangled from the
bars Of Canterbury.
"They always iron the next day, so they
can dry in the night, said Harry
After another slaughter Of reaches in the
morning, fire was lighted, the irons put on
and the clothes collected, rough dry, for the
final touches. Every man had visions Of
smooth clean linen, to repay him for his I'M
accustomed efforts. Such is hope!
Charley took the first step. Planting his
iron on the front of his Shirt smell greeted
his nostrils, and he lifted it again to behold a
large brown mark, the precise shape of the
fat-iron, burned on the bosom, of his best
shirt. Minnie's iron being almost cold, was
travelling briskly up and down his shirt, but
producing no visible effect.
1t was humiliating but true, that Joe took
an order to a gentleman's furnishing store
that morning for supply Of linen, and the
washed clothes were consigned to the pot
closet to await Susy's return.
Susy's return How can | describe it !
Every man on that day found he had an i'm
perative engagement abroad, and the little
maiden found an empty house. She went
first to the parlor.-Dust lay in piles. One
curtain was torn from the cornice, and lay
against the window. Cigars half smoked,
some reduced to mere stump spitoons were
in every corner; the chairs were promiscu-
ously deranged; on the center table three
bottles, two demijohns, pack of cards, and
about dozen tumblers replaced her pretty
books The piano bore two pair of boots,
deposited there when the owners were too
tired to go up stairs, and forgotten afterward,
the Canterbury had dish of chicken salad
reposing peacefully upon it one ottoman sup
ported hat and cane, another coat; every
chair carried some relic of the departed
guests, here handkerchief, there a cigar
case, on one a pocket-comb on another a
tooth-pic. Susy was dismayed but like a
brave little woman, determined to face the
muss at once. The kitchen came next. AS
we described it on the eventful ironing day,
so it remained, reaches, inclusive, meander-
ing every where.-The library was next in
order, and it was the counterpart of the par
lor only more deranged dining room ditto !;
the bed rooms to match.
Susy looked at the washboards in the bath
room, the market basket in the library, the
parlor chairs in the kitchen. e. 1t was near
est" Joe said when he brought them out J
the frying pan in the best bed room, Charlie
broke his basin y the bread pan in the spare
room (for dirty water, Joe said J the dish
clothes in the bed rooms (towels all dirty
She contemplated the floors unswept for a
month; marked the dust, the accumula-
ton of a similar time ; and then went to her
own room, the only orderly because undis-
turbed place in the house. A title note lay
on the table.
eve own we are beat 1t takes a
woman We beg pardon! Well never do
SO any more! Clear up and invite US to din
ner.n
GIVE PENITENT BACHELORS"