The Ohio Democrat. [volume] (Canal Dover, Ohio) 1840-1900, 1863-11-20
NUMBER 40.
vAR.IETY

LITTLE sticks kindIe the Gre; great
onesput il out
OLD men go to death. Death comes
to young men.
TIE BosToE PosT thinks the election
returns are "of African descent.1
| A SECRET has been admirably defined
to be anything made known to every
body in whisper"
TIE New York Times calls Stanton
an Ignorant brute.n The latter may
we'll reply, "et tr brute"
The young man who cast himeye on
a young lady coming out Of church has
had it replaced, end he meg sees as well
as ever.
The Republican, Of Washington, says
there are $4,000 prostitutes inthat city,
Of which 5000 are from the city Of New
York.
THERE is purple half to the grape,
mellow and crimson half to the peach,
a sunny half to the globe, and better
half to man. 49,
LIHU Burnett, the learned black
ksmth, has been taking little walk, only
1000 miles or SO, from London to John
O'Groat's house, Scotland.
"I SAY, Pat, what are you aboutY--
sweeping out that room?"-"No,n ans
wered Pat, Il am sweeping out the dirt,
and leaving the room" .ny.
"SALLY, what time do your folks
dne?" h5a
"Soon as you go away-thats mis-
sus's orders"
AN IRISH gentleman lately fought
duel with his intimate friend, because he
jocosely asserted that he was born with
out shirt to his back
SOME one commencing Philip of Ma
cedon for drinking freely: "That," said
Demosthenes, ''is good quality In
sponge, but not in o king"
THE great race between night mare
and clothes horse came of last week.
The man who entered the mare was not
wide awake, SO the horse took the prize.
THE FELLOW WHO DESERTED FROM z
FIVE wives and four regiments, thinks !
that instead Of being tried as deserter,
he should be forgiven for those first few
offences.
A SUBSCRIBER writes TO the editor Of
o western paper:-"I don't want your
little paper any longer" To which the
editor replies-"I wouldn't make It any
longer if you did," = ~
WHY is beauty like the engine on q
railway? Because she draws train af-
ter her, scatters the sparks, transports
the mails, (males) and makes us forget
time and space.
The wealthiest man in Indiana has
committed suicide, says an exchange. -
To which another paper rejoins: The
wealthiest nation on the face Of the
globe is doing the same thing. ~
A CORRESPONDENT says Sec'y Stan
ton goes himself to market very early
every morning. If he manages bis mar-
keting as badly as he does his Depart
ment, we should not like to dine with
him. M
A LOCOMOTIVE engine will carry 200
tuns at cost of fuel scarcely exceeding
the cost of corn and hay which pack
mule consumed, before the locomotive
was invented, in conveying load Of
three hundred weight an equal distance.
|, BENZ BUTLER, the beast, has been
restored to favor, and is assigned to the
command Of the 18th army corps. -
When such men as Mcclellan, Rose.
Grams and Meade sink, why, of course,
Old Ben can swim. Great is Dinah--s
not DianaI aa
A CURIOUS observation respecting the
rapidity of eagles in their fight has Just
been made by traveller crossing the
Grison Alps. An eagle, in flying from
one peak to another, at hight Of 5000
or 5000 feet, performed the distance Of
FIVE miles in FIVE minutes.
"MIsTER, will you Just lend pa your
newspaper? he only wants to send it to
bis uncle in the country"
"0h, certainly; and ask your father II
he will just lend me the roof of his house.
only want the shingles to make the
tea.kettle boil"
IT is stated 10 the National fnteIIi.
gencer that the whole number Of sol.
dierS obtained under the draft In Massa.
! chusetts was one thousand, eight hun.
: dred and thirty, all Of whom were sent
} to swell the Army of the Potomac. - 3
. What an enormous swell the swarns
} from Massachusetts must have produce
, edl
"W1FE, I am shortly to leave you
the doctor tells me / can live but few
hours at most. shall soon be Ia heav.
en-"
"Whatl You soon be in heaveni You'll
You'll never be any nearer heaven than
, you are now, you old brute.
! "Dolphus, Dolphus;n hoarsely growl.
! ed the old man. "Dolphus bring me
, ,, my cane and let me larrup the trollop
: once more before ] de-"
5 SAID au Irishman to o te|egraph op.
8 orator: "Doy you ever charge anybody
! for the address 10 messasela mo-
. replied the operator. And Do yo
. charge for signing his name, airln said