Columbia Democrat and Bloomsburg general advertiser. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1850-1866, 1863-04-25
Select Poetry.
A PLAIN EPISTliE TO UN-
Gle ABE.

Gle ABE.
have message, Uncle Abe,
For your own private ear -
A 1 rant go to Washington,
And as you won't come hCre,
I'm forced to put it intotypr,
with circumspsc,ion meek
As bashful members often print
A speech they dare not speak.
Ny head is nigh bursting, Abe,
My very eye.balls throb,
To sea what posky work you make
About that little job
Which you. and Bill, ard Horace O.,
Agreed 40 nice TO do,
In less han "siXty days" from date
Some twonty months ago!
VIZ gave you heaps Of soldiers, Abe,
tNr help you sn,ite the foe
A string of warriors tina. would reach
From here to Mcxico,.
we packed them oil with spades 10 dig,
And trusty guns to shoot,
With haversasks to grace their backs.
And fifss and drum. to toot.
You saw thass mighty legions, Aba,
And h.ard their manly trend;
You counted hosts of iiring men,
Pray can you count the dead
I.~-k o'rr the broad Potomac, Abe,
virginia's hills along,
Thar wakcful ghostt are beckOning you
Two hundred Thousand strong.
W. gave you srvera! shillings, Abe,
Topay your little dues;
Baough to buy n dozen shirts,
And sundry pairs OF shoes
We gavr yNu cattle, horses, mules.
Aud whgons-full score;
And s2vrrnlchnnon with II voice
Loud as Il bull cun rOar
N,w VIA, I'm att r Uhclc AaN
ls simply TO fiad out,
what You have done with all this ero,
Aud what you've been about!
ifanto Cesar you have given,
All that is hs concern
TN. "aHs. Cesar W ants" to know
What you have done with hrtn
know YOU'RE young aud hanlsom,, Abe,
Aud funny as our Pol,
a pear c1halt.d, great and high
ruler seven feet tall
You're big enough il only smart,
To manage all til" ganf;
And tn, n little green IN III rise,
whsn you hive got til. hang!
fon told us that tho I.ocos, Ab',
Wnra ta.cais 10 the oot',
because thry made 40 irfc a uso
or Unclc Samu1ls stor'.
Pull sixty millions in year =
Now wasn't il Il sin
F,r Dem jcrats to s1inicr this,
Tho darling peoples tin
And ARR you not deserving, Abe,
Both gratitude and grub,
For having stopped this wicked leak
In Uncle Samuel's tub
Tho sage who did this wondrouS decd,
IL NJ with saints tn sup;
II only costs two billions moro
To plug the vessel up
You say the south had ruled us, Abe,
Some fifty years in peace,
And that the time had fully come
when their vile reign should cease
That you were to take the helm
The sinking ship to save,
And put her OH another tack
And really think you havel
You're ont Of luck, entirely, Abe.
The engines off the track.
The b'iier's burst and there you are,
4 sprawling on your back;
Ths excise man Is at the door,
Con ractors cry for pelf;
Yours blind and stupid, deaf and lame,
Nor very well YOURSELF
Your eabinet'is fccslc, Abe,
And dull as any Ounce;
And II You have an ounce ofbrans
You'll ship them of at once;
Send Stanton to the Fejee Isles,
Give Wells and Chase the sack,
swop TIalleck for a Iiottcutot,
Aud send for Little Mac
know you toll u.s. Uncle Abe,
This is a mi ghty war
And that the job is rather more
Than what you bargained for
That you have done the best you could
70 make the rebels rue it,
And you knew what next to do,
You'd so right of aud do ii
Now that's the very thing, Abe,
That makes this din aud clattcr;
YOU don't appear to see" Abe,
And that is what's the matter!
The nisger's in the woodple, Abe
Az shy as any trout;
SO YOU think the Proclamation, Abe
VIII smoke the weasel out
You want to free the dsrkies, Abe,
At least, so construe it
The difficulty seems TO be
To find out how TO do it,
The way, dear Abe, is mighty dark,
And bothersome TO see;
Imuryou'll have to givo it up,
And let the darkey be.
Iteli you what it is, Abe,
The folks begin think
This coored sop is rather stale
Fer vctuals or for drink.
Our mothers love their absent sons,
Our wives their husbands true,
But no one cares a moudy hg
For Cufy or for you.
pa No man can do anything ag'
lis will, said a metaphysician.