Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1863-03-07
WIT AND HUMOR.
yyhy Eaat O'laonuci yvms sTunr-.

One day, during my stay at Deray, / oh
served nm unusual commotion in the streets
I asked the landlord of my inn, what was
up. when he replied in rather mctaphorical
style, that Larry O'lIono was putting up o
picture frame at the other end of town
And, pray, what kind of picture frame
Larry putting mp, and what is he putting
{ up for z inquired /.
Sure and Pat Donncl is to be put into
It, said he.
Oh, there is a man to he hung 2 said I,
irquiringly.
'And what else would tie frame lie for p
said my landlord.
'Whut offence is ODonncl to suffer for {"
I inquired.
No offence at all, your honor; 1t was only
the liberty he took
Wei, what was the liberty :
why, you see. sir poor Pat was in deli
cate health and his physician advised him
to take exercise Oh horseback end so, hay
ing no horse Of his own. he borrowed one
from Squire Doyle's paddock and no sooner
was he on his shoulders, than the duce put
into the cracher's head to go over to kelo-
green cattle-fair, where lie had good many
acquaintances and when he was got there,
Pat spicd friend at the door of shcbecn-
house, and left the animal grazing outside,
u
whisky and then YOU see. they got friskv.
and had another, tin poor Pat went to slape
on the binch; and when he woke up he
found the cracher gone, and his pocket
stuffed full with big lump Of money
In Short said |, You mean to say he has
been horse-stcaling.'
WHY, sir, he replied stammcring and
scratching his head, they call it so in Ing
land, bad luck to 'em p
We'll, the time came round for the eXecu-
tion 10 take place, and Pat was hung, sure
enough. And pretty mess they made of
hanging him, as the landlord told me the
next day. 1t seems that after hanging the
appointed time, this unfortunate Pat was
cut down and conveyed away by his friends
to an adjacent house where it being discoy-
cred thai his neck was not broken, physi-
clan was called in, and the means of rcsus-
citation were successfully employed. He
then fell into sound sleep, and was ordered
to be given cup Of new milk, whenever he
awoke and was thirsty. Two female rcla-
tiyes sat up with HIM; and the worthy
doctor sent them bottle Of whisky to cheer
the tedium of the night but they in drink
ing to one and the Others families, and long
lie in especial to Pat, soon became TOO So
cial to be discreet.
When Pat awoko, he rubbed his eyes, and
looking all around him, wildly exclaimed.
Where am dear lady 2
-Arrah, don't you know Judy Fins cabin
your own sister Judy 2
And is that you, Judy and is this
bed he inquired quite bewildered.
To be sure it is, Pat said she, and this
is bed, though it is not as good one as l
could wish; and here is Molly Dorgan, your
own cousin jarman; and we have both been
drinking your health, Pat, and long life to
you, wild the whisky the doctor sent us to
kape the ould blue divil from taxing us
But sure wasn't hangt, Judy darlinr
'Sure enough was yc strung up for not
returning Farmer Doy!e's pony that YOU Dor
rowed but Dr. MuIready, Blessings on
him who brought YOU into the world FIVE
and-twenty years ago, has brought you alive
again, after You had been made the picture
Of the 'slaping' on the government sign
post
Why, them replied Pat, with deep
SIGH, don't thank Dr.. Muircad was very
aisy where was, and here have you brought
me back into this dirty world to beg. steal
and starve rs have done before. / don't
thank you Judy, you never asked my con
sent. And by the powers since Dr. Mul-
ready has he'd ne born over again, he shall
be at the expense of bringing me up'
To molliiy Pats discomfort at his rcstora-
ton, the women handed him the whisky
bottle though strictly enjoincd by the
doctor to give him nothing but milk
which he, seizing with desperation, drained
at draught, and the liquor meeting the
wind in his throat, lie struggled, gurglcd,
and fell back upon the bed, beyond the
skill Of doctor Mulready to revive linn
again.