Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1863-02-11

love that distressed me beyond measure. |
told him that could not love him, that he
was brother to me, and no more. But he
would take no denial, saying he would wait
years, if | would only be his wife at last;
that he had waited years, for he had loved me
from the first, and many times the confession
trembled upon his lips, but he feared to risk
the story of his love till time had destroyed
my love for Willie. That night passed more
wretchedly than any night for years. Next
day, Mr.. and Mrs Leland both talked to me,
saying they loved me as their own child.
| Though distressed to seem ungratetul, told
them could not be his wife; that | had loved
William Halstead from a child, and though he
had proved false, there was for me no second
love.
. L now felt that l must leave my present
home, for l could not live under the same
ROOF with George Leland But this they
would not hear of; George was going far
away with his uncle, and | must remain and
be daughter to them, in affection if not in
name. SO it was arranged, and l bleathed
more freely when he was gone.
Then things settled back in their old way,
and once more | was happy-no, not happy;
happiness and l had parted long ago; but l
was content.
Two years had drifted away into the by
gone. In those years l had learned much
among other things, to ''suffer and be strong"
l was no longer the sensitive girl that had bar
tered her whole lite's happiness away for love
and lost
was woman now, strong and selfreliant,
with all an outraged womans rampant pride
to hold in check all her many, many memo
ries to ignore. had fought desperate bat
tie with my own heart, and came off conquer
or. had entered my room one night, deter
mined to destroy every relic of my faithless
| lover. Then was to forget him; that was
the PLAN had picture of him, that | had
| hung IN a large closet in my room, to keep it
from other eyes. 1t was like many of the old
fashioned Closets with shelves at one side and
window at the other. There was room for
my little tables and workstand, and there |
| had been wont to dream my dreams. Now it
was different, and for many long monhs-ay,
years-it had been closed and locked; like
the love dream at my heart, it must see the
light no more.
On the night in question | unlocked the
door and entered. l had determined to de-
stroy every every token of the wild dream
that had brought me so much misery. The
sight of the bright face hanging there almost
maddened me. The fire light shone full upon
it. At first it seemed to smile down tenderly
upon me, and | thought the beautiful lips
whispered, "Darling Clare"
Then either my mood changed or the pic
ture did, torI could have sworn the handsome
mouth grew naughty, and the dark eyes flung
| taunting glances down upon me, while the
words 'forsaken, forsakcn," rang in my ear.
1 snatched up heavy paper weight, and
thought, when raised my hand to strike, the
old pleading look seemed to come into the
face; l dashed the weight through the dear
eyes had once loved, shivering the picture
to atoms. Then there were letters to be de-
stroyed, and a curl of glossy hair, that had
been given to me when a school girl, a few
faded flowers, and ruby ring; and | de-
stroyed them. Then flung up the window
and sat down, in the bitter midwinter night,
feeling that wall of ice was built up between
me and the only one l ever loved. My lip
curled scornfully as l thought of the past
Talk about meek women, indeed l felt that
night as if had the strength of thousand
men. | felt like some triumphant general
| had won great victory.
Two more years drifted away. 1t was my
twenty-eighth birthday, and stood before the
mirror robing for a grand reception to be given
at the house of Judge Stannlore. L was indf-
ferent as to my toilet generally, caring little
at any time for dress. Why should l. when
no loving eye would look upon memo
| ldtuGIs ulOlllGT, SlSbcT, OF UTOlHGr III all Ile
earth?
But tonight it was different; there were to
be some distinguished strangers present from
transatlantic shores, and must make more
careful toilet than usual. | debated little
while-an unusual thing for me-between two
dresses, black velvet and rich white satin.
AT last | decided in favor of the velvet; the
| Sombre color suited my sombre heart best. 1t
seemed strange that |, who had felt no thrill
Of vanity for years, should be vain tonight
! did it not? | combed out my long hair, and
brushing it into heavy curls, gathered them
into knot behind, and thrusting a jeweled
bodkin into the shining mass, left them to
trail over my neck, for my checks and lips
were 4 vivid crimson, and my eyes flashed
like diamonds. The rich, black dress showed
| off my white neck and round arms to good
advantage-rOunded for all my eight and
twenty years. l suppose was called an sold
maid"; women of eight and twenty generally
are | believe, The close fitting bodice, with
its brittle of rich lace covered bleak and
! barren heart. But what did it matter?-the
world did not know it.
| wore no jewels, save tiny diamond star,
that flashed and cleaned above my forehead
the gift of Mrs. Leland. Reader, do you
know for whom this toilet was making?
Among the distinguished strangers from
abroad was William Halstead, one of the
most popular authors of the day.
| The rooms were crowded; but among all
the mauy faces L saw only his face. He was
leaning against pillar as l entered, in a sad
distracted kind of way. His face was pale,
and his eyes large and shadowy. He had
thought and studied his life out-that was
plain to be seen. But what need l care ?
This William Halstead was nothing to me.
moment more, and we stood face to face. My
heart gave fierce bound / shvered, for |
thought it was going to prove traitor heart;
but in less than moment it ceased its throb-
bings and grew still.
Il am happy to see you, Mr.. Halstead"
He held out his hand silently but l took
no notice of it; and as others came up to
clasp the hand had refused, moved haugh-
tily away.
Later in the evening 1 stood alone on the
verandah, as far as l could possibly get from
the sound of human voices. 1t was bitter
cold. The night wind blew keenly upon my
uncovered neck and arms, but did not heed
it it was not half so cold as the chill at my
heart. L shuddered at the darkness of my
FUTURE wondering if l could bear it.
The distant hum of voices added to my
gloom. l moved further into the shadow, as
footstep fell upon the gravel walk. pass
ed on, and once more l sank into revery
Some time must have passed, when voice
startled me:
"Clare, this is madness, standing in the
winter wind, without even shawl about you.
Mr. Leland is not over careful of the treasure
ba hos