Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1863-07-10

critter, supposing him to have been katy.
did, has most ponderous name ; no less
than, Platyphyllum cancavun." Who may
with impunity smash Platy-phy-ll-
um-um"-O, pshaw Then, on the other
hand, supposing the imp to have been grass
hopper-an unadulterated hoppergrass, what
sort Of odor~ would l find myself in with
the ancients For has not Anacreon, the
Ionian bard, sung of the vile clatter-mil,
calling it Ganymede, and making Phebus
its sire have not Euenus, Nicias, Leoni-
das, Archias, preceptor and friend Of Cicero,
and a host of others spouted in praise of the
hateful little tobacco-s splitting nuisance? And
has not some grasshopper- bitten ancient got.
ten up a Grasshopper's Remonstrance p
yea, verify. Read "."
THE GRAssHopPER's REMoNsrRANcE.
Why, shepherds from the dewy spray,
% Chase me thus sptefully away
| Me, the Nymphs bard who summer long
Cheer vale and upland with my songP
" The Thrush the Backblrd, and the Stare
" It's they have laid your gardens bare; r....
" Such thieves twere justice to pursue,
But why grudge me my leaves and dew!"
There, what precious pair o. scamps we
have in that poet and grasshoppor! A clear
conspiracy against the Thrush, the Blackbird
and that other fellow. What the mischief
isa Stare' Did any Of our young ladies
ever meet with such thing in our streets p
Yes, yes; the dlack6ira is a very bad fel.
low; so, have no doubt is the stare, also
the thrush" Thems er chaps what stole
yer ingins !A'Tis they have laid your gar
dens bare!'' "'Twere justice to pursue
them but as for me,-why, bless you, save
and except few leaves" and ridculousfy
small amount Of "dew" never touched O
single thing in your garden--Assure you,
pom honor Z" He that dcovers thee iscoy.
ers thee" is proverb old and true true
now as when first uttered by the immortal
Sancho Panza-but neither our poet nor the
grasshopper could have heard it, or they
never would have been so green (whcn say
green," l have not the grasshopper par.
ticularly in my eye) as to have published to
the world the above remonstrance. .....
A Aplague upon all insects, say all ex.
cept the little busy bee." [Be sure to pro.
nouce the last work but one, Juzzy for then
you are close at the heels of nature.1 Vir.
gil said much in praise of the bee; but then
you know he was sort of truck patch poet.
III be bound he hated grasshoppers from the
bottom Of his heart. I intended when Sc,
out TO give the whole of my insect persecu
ters fits, but have taken up so much space
with the grasshopper that will have to ad
journ without doing battle with the others
However, if they don't take warning by the
"Ganymede's" fate, Ill be the death of the
whole "outft'' Of them; from the smallest
gnat that tunes his discordant pipe to tn,
biggest tumble-bug that rolls. Again say
a plague light upon all the insect tribe
Why, insects, and of the most vulgar species
were, indirectly, the occasion of the death O
the greatest epic poet the world ever saw
the divine Homer, him of the Ilad anG
Odyssey. To conclude this article, I'll tel
the story, though warn you in advance
that in it there is not one word Of truth
The old chap, Homer, was fooling about the
sea-shore, in the island Of 10, one pleasant af
ternoon, in the month of June, watching .
lot Of NANCY, Sabbath-breaking urchins
fishing near by. Halloo! yonkers," cried
old Homerus, what luck? Do you catct
anything9" The wicked young hummer,
were all this time most industriously engaged
catching, and killing as many as they could
Tcatch, of certain tribe of domestic" in
sect, mot the Musca domest;ca, but tha,
other. immortalized by Bobby Burns. "Aye
aye" surg out one Of the young sauce. box
es. AS many as we caught, we left; and
as many as We could not catch we carry
with US !" The divine Meonides, alias Ho.
merns, commenced scratching his head, =
not from sympathy with the scabby young
fisherman. but to try to grasp the length
breadth and depth of the riddle the boy had
propounded. He was utterly unable to gel
the meaning through his wool, and broke hi.
heart out Of pure vexation. That's what
allied Homer, and it's whats the matter
with Hammer"
/ DAN On QuILLH.
/ r. S.-rll not hurt thee, says my uncle
Toby, rising from his chair, and going across
the room, with the fly in his HAND, I'll not
hurt . hair Of thy head: Go, says he, lift
ing up the sash, and opening his hand, as h,
spoke, to let it escape; go, poor devil, ge
thee gone, why should hurt thee. This
world is surely vide enough to hold both
thee and me-" Fearing that somebody
might call me cruel wretch, for prosecuting
the insect tribe, and quote uncle Toby agalns
me, have thought best to get the start By
quoting him myself. have only to say
that | consider him fossil, of the old fogy
species aud am perfectly willing to gram
N. do Marschall that he never existed on thi.
earth: he undoubtedly fell from the moon.
l D Ds q.