Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1863-09-29
Artemas ward

This celebrated writer has recently given
the public copy Of his letter to .hr Prince
Of Wales on the interesting business OF
housekeeping and such incidantas as the
welding Of two hearts in one. We give
extracts;
Friend Wales.--Yo u remember me.
saw you IN Gambia few years ago. re-
member you too. | seldom forgit per-
son.
hearn OF your marriage to the Printsis
Alexandra, d ment ter writ YOU a con-
egatoolatory letter at the time, but I've bin
Jildin barn this summer, q hain't had
no time TO write letters to folks. Excoos,
me.
Numbers changes haz took place sine,
we met in the body polite. The body pc
lite, in fack is sick. somtimes think it ha'
got biles, friend Wales.
In my couot.y we've got war, wLilc
yorr country in conjunktion with Captaie
SENS of the Alabarny manetanes a noo
troll position!
AS | sed, | manige my wife without any
particular trouble When | fust comlnensi
tram her | institooted series of expert
ments, and them as didn't word ! aband
iug'd. You'd better 10 similar YOU
wife may object to get.in'up and bildin' the
fire in the mornin' but if you commence
with her at once you may be able to over
KUN this plejoodiss. ! regret 10 obsarve
that didn't commence ally enuff
wouldn't have you s'pose was ever kicked
out of bed. Not at all. | simply say, in
regard TO bildu "ires, that | didn't com.
mence arly enuff. 1t was ruther cold NOR
min WHEN fust proposed the ides to Bet
sy. 1t WASH well received, and | found
myself lsyin on the floor putty student
thought Id git up aud bid the fire my
self.
Ofcourse now you're married you can
eat onions. alus did, and if | know my
heart, alus will My daughter who is
goin on II and is risky, says they's dis
gustiu. And speakin' Of my daughter re-
minds me that quite number Of young
men have suddenly discovered that I'm a
very entertainin' old fellcr ard they visit
us frequently, especially on Sunday evepins.
One young chap-a lawyer by habit
don't cum as much as he did. Ny wife's
father lives with us. His Intellect toteers
little, and he saves the papers containin
the proceedings of our State Legislature
The old geu'rman likes ID read out loud
and he reads toPble wei He eats hast
freely, which makes his voice clear; bu
as he unfortniIly has to spell the most O
TIE words, may say be reads slow. Wal
whenever this lawyer made his appearance
/ would set the old man readin' the Leg
islative reports. KEEP the young lawyer
(up one night till II o'clock, listeniu' to a
lot Of acts in regard to draw-bridge
away orr in the east part Of the State
haven sent my daughter to bed at half
past 8 He hasn't bin there since, and
understan' he says go round swit ding the
public.
never attempted to reorganize my wife
but oncs. shall never attempt agin. I'd
bin to a public dinner, and had allowed
myself TO be betrayed into drinkin' several
peoples health and wishin' to make EN-
as robust as possible, continued drinkin'
their hsslths until my own became effected
Cousekens was, presented myself at Bet
sey's bedside late at night with consid'b bic
Ticker concealed about my person. bad
sumhow got perseshun of a hosswhip OF
my way home,and remembenn' sum cranky
observations of Mira. Wards in the morning
| snapt the whip putty lively, and in very
loud voice, | said, Betsy, you need reor
ganizing'! have cum, Betsy" | continued
cracking the whip over the bed II have Gun
TO reorganize you Ha-aye you per rayec
TO nitef"
y
| dresD'd thst night that sumbody had
laid hosswhip over me sev'rl conseckoo
tiv times; and whea l woke up ] found sh'
had / haiu't drank much OF anythin' since
and if ever have another reorganizin jot
on hand shall let II out.
4 Il X
There's vsris ways Of manign' wife
friend Wales but the best and only SAT
ways is to let her do jist about as she wani
to. | dopted that there plan sum time ag
and it works like charm.
i Rememember me kindly to Mrs. Wales
and good luck to you both And as year
roll by, and accidents begin to happen t
you--among which ! hope there'll be twin
You will agree with me that family Joy
air the only ones man can bet on with an.
certinty Of winin.'
1t may interest you to know that In
prosperin' in a pecoonery pint Of view.
make bout as much in the course of a yer
as Cabinet offisser does, & l understand
my bizniss a good deal better than SUN 0
'em do.
Respects &c St. George y the Dragon.
ever be happy"
To INCREASE THE STZE OF FRUIT, -