The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1863-11-06
BEDFORD, Pa, FRIDAY MORNING, NOVEMBER 6, 1863.
Cap. Sw;pes on the Draft.

ernment's got demoralized and gone into the lot
terry business like gay old gamboiler The
government wheels worse than roulette, for in
that you can see the ball spin round, and you
stan chance of doublIn' yours but in Capt.
| Stantons wheel you stan two chances of losin'
, to none at winnin'. In fact, for poor spec
yulashun, it beets anything sens the dase of
| Joshua, and I'm down onto it. I've no partlc-
Ter objeckshun to square game, where you git
site for your money, but to back agin govern
ment whether you want or not, with nary a
chance at all except of lusin hundred, amt
exactly what Eve been brot up to consider the
hite of morality. To my mind government
might be in better business.
| Besides its immoral pints, this government
gamboilering is unhealthy business. 1t sort
o pisons the atmusfere, and brings on all sorts
of diseases. The folks around here yused to be
tolsraby saloobrious. Now they amt. Three
years ago you couldn't find man in the town
that wasn't magnus Apollo. Now they aint
| none of that sort left unless he's some poor Gus
| which hain't got no frens and no 3 hundred for
notLin'. Sum has tuberculs, (Which is things
| like potaters) CROWN onto their lungs; sum
has very coarse vanes; and the rest amt very
| we'll generally. An all in consekwins of gov
ernment's goin' into the lottery perfesshun. You
see tain't good for body or soul, an, it shouldn't
ought to be continered
What makes me speeshully down onto the in
stitushn, is that Pm won of its victims. The
wheel has gone and done it, and /, which hain't
even plaid even up for the drinks, (part from
principle and part from interest,) in morn
year, am beat out Of three 100 by . game in
which they wouldn't even let me hold a hand.
Yes, sir, they have grated me into the army,
believe that's what they callit, when they call
on ieller for the soap, but which is only a
peace of sarkasum, for the army haint nothin'
particler to do with it as l can see.
When was drafted felt different about it.
l thought then that they wanted more soldiers.
The administrashun papers sed SO; they sed it
was men the government wanted, not money:
and when anybody proposed to rase hundred
for every grated man so't he could 60 or stay
jest as he'd mind to, they sed he was cop
perhed and rebuel sympathiser When l got
the paper with the names of the grated men in
our town, found my own and jest 4teen others
that trained with among the Wide-Awakes 3
years ago For a moment felt bad, and kind
er ihot I'd 90 an make Uncle Bill over in Can
ada short VISIT an if liked the country take
off my close an stay few years. Then thot
tomyself l won't. Here's fifteen of us valyunt
feilers of that regiment which Burt Van Horn
sed it could march right thru the whole South.
We're the men fur the crisis, and now that the
backbone of the rebelyun is broken, well make
them big rebuels fly to the cathode. So Ispoke
to my wife, and sez /:
"Wife, I'm goin'. Comments sent fur me
and respond. I'm wanted to crush the rebel
yum and Pm goin' in to do it. I've got three
weeks to get ready in, and then I'm off fur the
fust families and intelligent contrabands."
''Now, Ethan," SEE she, "You don't say so!
Why what'll Inc and the children do2"
10" sez l, 'youll get on well enuf, I'll 'lot
you 10 dollars month of my pay, and the
town board III see you don't suffer-"
"Iown grapny!" SEE she, 'doyou s'pose I'm
goin' to take help from the town? me which cum
from a good famerly; I'd as soon go to the
County House to wons."
"Well," sez l, ''ten dollars III keep you and
the babies in eatables, and you won't need many
close, for thnkin that your husband is servin'
of his country, and winnin OF distmcshun !
will warm your bosom and no mistake. Be- |
sides I'll be promoted rite along, an before the
war is over I'll be a bold brigadier, and have
two rows of brass buttons ON to my cote, and
a draw'd sword in my hand, and git 200 and
fifty month for picking my teeth in front of u
big hotel to illustrate the strength of the country"
"Ethan," sez she, soemnly, ''ef you must go
I'll try an bear it, but wun thing yvant you
to promise, and that is that you won't 60 to be-
in brigaoier on no account. know the pays
good, but what's that compared to the associa-
shun. You've children grown up; think how
they'd feel"
"Well," sez l, 81 promise, for think good
deal Of my name, an it shant be sullied by be-
in reported in the list of brigadiers." tho'tl
would quiet her, an it did for minnit, but
purity soon herd sound, an new sumthin'
was cumin'.
"Boo-hoo-hoo!" she remarked, an noticed
several teers about the size of pigeons eggs
coursin' down her lovely cheek. kept still,
but she continued repeatin' her last observashun.
AT last sez she:
30, Ethan, them rebuels are SO careless how
they shoot. What would you do ef a Parrot
prcjectyle was to hit you?"
IDOL" sez I, majestically, why, repetin' the
immortal words of Patrick Henry, 81 still livc,"
I'dwrap myself into the bar tangled spanner and
die, conshurs that had aided in maxim some
ndvidool Of the African persuashun happy!"
''But Ethan," sez she, "what good would
that do me an the babies!" Don't g-o-o-ol"
and off she went again.
See l, 'wife, you unman me which are ready
10 face death in its teribulest forms, but which
las to cave if you've set in for u cry" Then
speaking like "a konskript father, sed, trash
,-u-r-l, think of it. would'st you have your
Jwn chosen Ethan the recreant wun, when IA
,ther valyunt Wide Awakes 90 wllar glory
wates 'enn, an whar it has been watin' of 'en
ncre'n . years7'
"Who air them 4teenf" SCI she.
red their names.
EMuch fhey'll ,ro {" saz she nm me thOt thar