The weekly Butte record., 1863-01-03
A Wonderful Business Man.

merchant in Boston, having advertised
for a partner, among other answers to his
advertisement, received the following through
the Boston Transcript;
BosroN, August G. 1862.
MR. MERCHANT Esteemed sir :-Yo ad-
vertisement in the Daily Traveller has canght
my eye, and being desirous of attaining an
elevated position in the society, not only of
this metropolis, but of the whole world, conde
scend to reply to an unknown advertiser
l should be glad to become your partner in
trade, but before doing SO must state my pc
cnliar preferences To begin with, I should
refuse 10 do anything requiring mental or physi-
cal exerton; I can't do it, and therefore shall
not try Another important thing in my
mind is, whether your Office furniture is com.
Portable or not | cannot endure caneseat
chairs. must have good cushioned chairs at
8 cost Of not less than fifteen dollars and
eighty seven aud half cents each. | hope
you take the Boston papers and most of the
country journals Afternoons read the New
York Ledger, aud woebetide any travelling
pen reddler or bloody beggar that interrupts
me when am in the midst of Mrs. f. d. n.
SouihwOyths thrilling tale Ia personal ap-
pearance am very uncertain. / have been
taken at various times, by competent men,
(heads Of families) as Gen. Beauvo gard, DR.. S.
G. Howe j. B. Smith, carterer, aud the Gov
ernor of the aims house on that big island near
the Empire city BlaclwelFs l think is its
name At one time | looked like Amodio, the
dead squawker. but since he died could not
look like him. If you are fond Of music, l can
sing know Farewell Araby's Daughter" !"
Ilally Looyah John Brown" Old Dog
Tray and - How doth the little busy bee"
am practicing on several more too numerous
to mention, but can give the names on appi-
cation, with seventeen stamps to pay. return
postage.
| have had much experience in mercantile
affairs For FIVE weeks was head clerk in
bowling alley for eight days | was cashier in
an intelligence Office left on account of i'll
health, brought on by the excitement conse-
quent upon having SO many young females in
the room at one time. next kept the books
for wholesale hair oil manufacturer, but was
obliged to give It up on account of becoming
second Esau. as the air was SO impTegnated
with the oil that I cauld see my hair grow,
and by listening on a clear day | could hear it
grow with the naked ear joined a circus. but
was discharged honorably because | couldn't
turn back somecsau!t over the main tent
without stopping TO salute the stars and tripes
waving so m4jestically over the summit l
was offered Corpogalship IN brigade, but
declined, as | am too modest to be so promi-
uenuy before the nation. l tried for 4 Minis
tership 10 England but Adams got ahead Of
me. l might get the Patagonia Mission. but
had rather go into business with you, if you
can guarantee me good living and lazy
work; otherwise. you won't do. I can refer
You to several prominent gentlemen Of this
country, but as they happen to be members of
Congress and Government officers, am afraid
YOU vii. not think them reliable.
oa referring second time to your adver-
tisemeut find tla, you wish me 10 bring to
Nj. dollars ; as am very short jus; at this
moment, shall be unable to 60 50, but I
have no doubt yoa will loan me that amount,
and give you my word will repay you from
the very first profit l ~eoive from that busi-
ness.
Address with real name and lacid statement;
address, say, John Hurley, city of Boston, up
stairs.
2. S.-Excuse blots.