davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15
Concerning Milk,

A curiJus custom prevails among the
mIlkmen of Mexico, it is said, Of driving
their herds about the streets, and milking
them to order, in large or SIN II lots TO
suit purchasers The live animals them
selves are driven from door to door of the
different regular customers, where :hey
are MIXED, and there is a regular stand
where the transient patrons are supplied.
by milking into the vessel 10 which they
take it home. Besides drove of calves,
with the cows all muzzled, running and
bleatiDg after them, there is q gang Of goats
and asses driven along, that people NAV
always suit themselves as to quality and
price, az also their different tastes--for
which their is no accounting 1t is i'm
possible to derive the reason or origion of
this mode of vending milk; unless it arose
from the natural Vi!lsiny Of the people
and their 6istrust of each other-it being
preventive against 'adulteration, and of
their disposing of quality Of milk inferior
to that represented. This plan has the
merit which attaches to'hOnesty and fair
dealing, We should not like to see the
COWS from which city milk is obtained,
driven about the streets. Such q sorry lot
of lean kline az would be exhibited, would
create an unpleasant sensation in the Gus
toner. We are credibly informed that the
swill milk trade still exists, and that large
quantities of it are sold.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15
Washington a "COpperhead. ,,

George Washington was ''coppe.head'
according TO the republican definition of
that word. IL the following extracts from
bis Farewell Address are not "eopperhead
sentiments" we know not what are. Al
any rate they ere democratic sentiments +:
"Indignstly frown upon the dawning of
every attempt to sleinste any portion Of
our country from .be rest. or to eufeeble
the sacred ties which now link together the
various parts.
''The constitution which at any time
exists, till changed by On explicit and au.
thentic act of the people, is sacredly obIiga'
tory on ell.
''Resist with care the spirit Of innovation
upon its principles, however specious the
pretexts.
The spirit Of encroacbment tends to con-
solidate the powers Of all departments in
one, and thus create, whatever the form Of
government, q real despotisu.
LET there be no change by usurpation ];
for though this in one instance may be
the instrument of good, ii is The customary
Seopon BY 'chich free government is destroy
ed
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15

WONDERS OF TIE SEA SHoRE.-tContrib-
uted by "Glaucus," who 10 staying ut Q
quiet watering place, Eve miles from any
where and three miles from Q Railway
Station.)
Monday ~ after Breakfast, lying on the
Beach.
Wonder If it is Monday o. tuesday,
Wonder what time il isf
Wonder If il will be Q fee dayf
Wonder what shall do If It isl On
second thoughts, wonder what ! shall do if
itisD'tf
Wonder if there are auy lettersi
Wonder who that is 10 q white petticoat
with her hair doWni
Wonder if she came here yesterday or
the day beforei .-...
, Wonder il she is prettyi
Wonder what l've been sinking Of for
the last ten miDutesf
Wonder bow the bOatmen here make q
livelihood BY lying all day ut full length
upon the beachi
Wonder Why every one who sits IN the
shore throws pebbles into the sea
Wonder what there is for dinnerf
Wonder what shall do 10 the after.
noonf
Same nay, after Supper. Moonlight, lying
on the Beach.
Wonder What age I was last birthday:
Wonder if Police Inspectors are fond Of
bsthiDgf
Wonder what gave me this ideaf
Wonder what shall do this EVENING"
Wonder if the Pope can swimf
Wonder what made ue think of thatf
Wonder if should like TO 20 up in Q
bslIooDf
Wonder what shall do tomorrow p
Punch.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15
A Soldiers Gratitude.

Lieutenant J-n, late of the Reg.
iment was few days ago walking down
Washington street, when he was accosted
by fellow, half soldier, half beggar, With
a most reverential military salute.
God bless your honor, said the man,
whose accent betrayed him to be Irish,
and long life to you.'
How do you know met said the lieu.
tenant.
is it how do know your honori' res.
ponded Pat. Good right, sure, have to
know the man who saved my life in bat
tle.'
The lieutenant. highly gratifed at this
tribute to his vslOr, slid q fifty cent bill
into lis hand and asked him when.
'Gcd cless your honor, and long life to
you,' said the grateful veteran. Sure il
was at Antietam, when, seeing your honor
run away as fast as your legs could carry
yon from the rebels, followed your lead
and ran after you out of the wsy; whereby,
under God, saved my life. Obi good
luck to your honor. never will forget It to
you.'
The lieutenant didn't feel satisfied with
the answer.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15
How TheyTaIk.

The following conversation between
Provost Marshal in Gen. Rosecrans' army
and rebel deserter is reported BY a cor.
respondent of the Chicago Times, August
22d:
1.-THE following is dialogue, which oc.
cured yesterday at the Provost Marshal's
Office. between Capt Goodwin, Assistant
Provost Marshal, and deserter, will re-.
veal the promptings of these men, and ex-
hibit the sorry morale of the rebel army:
A midGle-aged man, who claimed to have
wife AID child. was called up, when the
question was asked by the
Provost-How came you herei
Deserter-You un's cavalry catched me
up and fotched me in.
P:-Were you attempting to escape or
elude themf
D.-No didn't care much if they did
catch me. only / wanted to 90 home.
P.-What did you desert for2
Dwell, sir, l am Q poor man, and
have helpless wife aud child. l counot
stand the service, and l did not want 10
have any hand in the war nohow, but the
rebels cOnscripted me and compelled me to
60.
Are you not afraid that the rebels
will pick you up again
D.-No, sir I'll dodge about in the
mountains and keep out Of their way.
P.-Did the rebels give you plenty to
eat?
Dwell, sir, not plenty, but enough to
keep me alive.
P-What did you get to eatf
D.-Mostly corn bread and bacon. Some.
times half pound of fresh beef.
P-Have any Of your friends from your
neighborhood been conscriptedf
Dyes, sir, and they'll all desert just
as soon as they get chance.
P.-ls there much Dissatisfaction amone
the rebel soldiers2
D.-A mighty sight of it, sir, and, if II
wasn't that they were closely watched
there would be very few who wouIdn't de-
sert.
P.-Was Bragg at Chattanooga wher
you lefti
Dyes. sir, and he was building forti-
cations as fast rs possible.
PIE Bragg's army 10 the vicinity Of
Chattanooga, aud do you think he will
make much resistance
D.-The rebel army is along the Knox,
vile and the Western and Atlantic Rail
roads, and guarding the fords along th,
river. l think Bragg will give you . pret
ty smar: brush at Chattanooga.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15
A C.aance for an ArtIst.

Mr.. W. is one of our most popular ar.
fists ard draughtsmen. Not long since.
while busily at work, he was interrupted
By q rough looking customer, With
BE you Mr.. w., the painter
i am, SIR
You teach creeters to draw, be-
lievef'
Yes, SIR replied the artist, who fancied
the visitor some wealthy old farmer
DO You wish your daughter to take les
sonsr
No, sir, not my darter.'
Your son, pe-hapsf
mo. not my son, neither
Who then, sir p Not yourself ]
hoper
No, not myself; but somebody a darned
sight more dificult-s four year old mule.
l bought the other day. Learn him b
draw, and darn me if dou't ont pevte,
and give you the biggest hundred dollars
you ever Seed
The countrymaD went down stairs with
q hop: skip, aud jump. closely followed by
an old pair of boots. meerschaum pine. and
sundry other moveables. .N
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15

Lying, like all other vices, is sure 10
grow upon person. until, as We have
often heard it remarked, he'd rather lie
ihan tell the truth he can't tell the truth.
etc etc. old Uncle Dunn as be was
Familiarity called by his neighbors, fairly
ranked among the class termed old liars;'
ana the habit also proved contagious to bis
wife, who, after time, and DO matter how
incredible the story, always had her say in
confederation.
Upon q certain occasion be was asked
BY j. s. G. always full of fun, and
for the purpose Of laugh at the re2Iy)
if he was not acquainted with Washing
ton.
why. Law. John, Washington wss one
Of the best friends ever bad. and would
never let any one else do his baking for
him. Many time l have baked eiebteen
and twenty barrels Of -four for him before
breakfast
The old lady here arose, took her old
pipe from her mouth, and walking across
the room, half bent down with age. I'D.
ded:
Yes, yes, John. and don't my old bones
remind me Of it every dayP
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15

Good old Deacon A., having occasion
10 spend q night at hotel, was assigned
room in which there were three single
beds. two Of which already contained occu-
pants. Soon after the light was extinguish.
cd q man in one of the other beds began to
snoar sU loudly as to prevent bis falling
asleep. The tunult increased as the night
wore away, until il became absolutely
fesrial. Some two or three hours after
midnight the snorer turned himself in bed,
gave hideous grosn, aud became silent.
The deacon had supposed the third gentle
man ssleep until. at this junsturs. he heard
him exclaim. He's dead thank God
Hes deadP
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15
VOL. 81 NO. ID.
The Deacon and the yvasps.

A worthy deaoon in o good town of
Maine, was remarkable for the facility with
which he quoted scripture on all occasions.
The Divine Word was ever &C bis lounges
end, and ell the trivial, as we'll az import
ant occurrences Of life furnished occasion
Tor quoting the language Of the Bible
What was better, however, the exemplary
mao always made his quotations the stand.
ara OF action: One bot day, he was en-.
gagged IN moving, with his hired man, who
was leading of, the deacon followipg in
bis swath, coming his apt quotations, when
the man suddenly sprang from his place.
leaving his sWath just in time 10 escape q
wasp's nest.
What is the matter p hurrisdIy inquired
the deacon.
'Waspsp was the laconic reply.
Pooh = said the deacon, the wicked fee
when no men pursueth, but the righteous
are as bold as lion = aud taking the
Workman's swsth. be moved but step.
when q swarm Of brisk insects settled about
his ears, and he was forced to retreat. with
many painful sting, and in great discom.
future.
'Ah = shouted the other with chuckle,
the prudent man forseeth the evil, and
hideth himself, but the simple pass on and
are punished
The good deacon bad found bis equal in
making applications of the sacred writings
and thereafter was not known to quote
scripture in Q mowing-feld.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15

Some Of the marines who were on shore
from the Monitors the other day we're tell
ling sea-stories to q crowd of soldiers
Among others, one Involving o popular
superstition among sailors.
One of their comrades fell overheard
from the top-sail yard while reeiug in Q
gale of wind. He was supposed to be in
stantly killed; but the crew saw him stand.
ing erect in the water, and Immediately
lowered boat against the wishes of the
captain. As their hands reached out to
catch bin he sunk suddenly away from
them into the water, as the captain had
told be would. Observing look of incred-
ulity on the face of Sergeant B, who
has often "sliced the main BRACE" and Is
something of q wag withsl, the narrator
asked, suddenly:
DO you not believe itf
'Oh, yes,' said be, i believe it, for I've
been to sea, and 10 fact fell overheard my,
self onee.'
How did that come aboutP
1T was down 10 the Gulf, coming from
the West Indies. The captain didn't like
me very well, go be went on and left me.
swan little-just enough to keep my
self afost-for q number Of days.
But didn't you ever see the vessel
agaiur
oh, yes but she went home and dis
charged her cargo, and was coming back
again. Iswam to her, climed up the bob
stays, and went on board
The marines were suddenly impressed
with desire to 60 up and hear the band
play.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15
A Rough WOOer.

Miss Agnes Strickland, in her life Of
Matilda, William the CopquerOr's queen,
relates an incident Of Williams courtship.
which is characteristic both of his rough
temper and the rough times in which he
lived. William, it appears, had courted
Matilda for some years without success,
and at length became desperate. In the
year l047, he wsylaid the lady of his des-
pairing love in the streets of Bruges, as
she was returning from mass, seized her,
rolled her in the dirt, spoiled her rich ar.
ray, and not content with these outrages,
struck her repeatedly, and rode of ct full
speed. This Teutonic method of court
SNIP according to our authority, brought
the affair to crisis, for Matilda, either
convinced of the strength of Williams pas
sion by the VIGILANCE Of his behavior. or
afraid of sncountering q second beating,
consented to become his wife. And those
were the high days of chivalry!
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15
D. W. VoOEKfEi.

Alta term Of the Gsnessss New Yorkl
Circuit, Judge c.. noted alike Tor bis
legal ability and petulanee, remarked 70
Lawyer M, (Who bad just called up
case Of trivial character, which somewhat
riled His HonOr''l that such suits. in
stead or taking up the time Of The Cireufl,
would be more properly disposed OF By
submitting the same to GjHTy Of old yOMI
en-.
Lawyer Nj, sonewhst hurt By The
rIeprooff replied very mOdestly and feeling.
y, that Witho1t taking any exceptions 10
the opinion Of the honorable Court, he
thought his case could not b before q mOr6
appropriate tribunal
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15

B@rThs administration, in this critical
juncture Of our military affairs. hos weak
ened the armies Of the south some 80, 600
men, in order to send them to New York |
People will ask what does this mean-1hIs
extraordinary display ospilitary force in Q
loyal, peaceful aud patriotic state? Mr..
Lincoln and his cabinet are rapidly throw.
ing Oh all disguise as to their intentions in
the future Gin, Enquirer.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15

An individual recently appeared at the
Sandusky, Ohio, poor house 10 search of a
wife. and requested the superintendent to
'trot out his manageable stock, as he was
terribly in rnest aud in something Of
hurry. A female vagrant of ripe age was
produced, and with very few preliminsries
the twain were made one fiesh.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15

Two years ago, writes O correspondent.
at the spring term of the District Court At
Topeka, Kansas, Judge Rush Gilmore pres.
laeo, . witness vas called upon the stand.
AIter Delog sworn, the counsel for the de.
renee SAID to the witness--s tall e.een
specimen, and somewhat embarrassed:
~ NOW, SIR, stand up and tell your story
like preacher
No, sir,' rOared the Judge, none Of
tnat; want You to tell the truth
just imagine the Sheriff, deputies and
2aliiA trying to keep order and silence.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15

soe Printing ofsvs-y asseriPtio hwii Ibs EsdlIy
xPsditiouslyexeeutedt to order opl thsr.l,e-n.
AnassOrtmsnto OF blanks kspteSs,ts,t,-o. IL
- All orders for Advertisih, a, IL -
os aceompanled BY cash, unlesssome per.on Eno1e
aoecomes responsible for the same -
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15

Some ''queer Asb,' at st. Louis, in allu-
SION to the bill for married women when
before the Missouri Legislature, asked if Il
would not be better for the members % "a
something for the benefit of The single
ladies, and not trouble themselves no much
about other mems wives,
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15
A Tough Story.

Stephenson, country shop keepe-, was
one day trying to sell joe pair of psgged
boots. The old man gave the article Offer
ed fair examinstion, and decided not to
purchase.
Mice boots said Stephenson.
Yes, very nice boots, said Joe, but I
can't afford 'em.
Why, they are as cheap as any they
make, said Stephenson, only two dol.
lars.'
Yes, only 1 don't keep any hired man.
returned Joe.
Hired mani what do you want Of Q
hired man 2 asked Stephenson.
Well, should want o hired man, IL /
bought them boots said Joe, his eye twist
ing up with even q more comical leer an
usual; the last pair Of boots / had retty
near ruined me-
How was tbatr said Stephenson.
Why said Joe, all the time / wore
them boots, hsc to take two men along
with me with hammers, oce on each side,
to nail on the sOles every time lifted my
feet.'
The store.keeper made no further efforts
to sell boots to Joe.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15

a SIGK BGHELoR.-The New York
Tunes thus heads long article on this sub.
ject:
A sick bachelor A dying camel in the
deserta A sailor on hencoop 10 the mid.
die OF the Atlanticl All the Same. The
same incident from different points of view
The same subject with varied accessor-
les. 1t there is preponderancs of misery
on either side it is on the side of the sick
bachelor. The camel, however intelligent
1t may be, is still scarcely as sensitive as
the human sufferer, and the sailor floating
on hencoop thousand miles from land,
10 at least spared the misery of knowing
that there 10 help within call. The sick
bachelor is the ne ptzs ultrG of human mis-
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15

At spiritual circle the other evening, a
gentleman requested the medium 20 81
what amusement was most popular In the
spiritual world. The reply was, READING
our OVID arbitrary notices/
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15

The difference between var and pssssi |,
has been well defined By one Of The an
clients: =
In time Of peace the soma Bury fheif
fsthers-ln line Of war ths fishers bury r
their sons :
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15
Keep Your Temper.

Keep your tsmper-one short word
Hearts with agony has stirred:
Ties that years could not have rlven,
Scattered to the winds Of heaven.
Keep your temper-glances speak,
Bounding pulse and blanching cheek,
Yes, q thought not yet expressed,
Mag create wounded breast.
Keep your temper-smiles of love
Come, like angels, from above,
Whisper welcome to our ears,
like the music of the spheres.
Keep your temper-gentle minds
Are the treasurers-he who finds
Hath the "Fairest Of the fair"-
Fortunes ruling voic6is there.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15

Pm afraid yoe1l forget me. wife. while
I'm sway said brave officer. Never
fear my dear, the longer you are away in
tSe oounh3s service, the better ! ehsll
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15
BY C. & G. FARLEY
"what Life Holds to GLADDEN. Me.
By EDWIN RUTBvEN BRIeds.

walk the sunny sea Of Fate,
And ne'er complain, though Ger 60 great
The burdens which I'm forced to bear,
or trials, sorrow, and despair.
They lightly rest upon my back,
As pursue the nowery track,
And when rest meath Ieafy tree,
1t sweetly cheers and gladden. me.
Whene' er muse upon the past,
The clouds will gather thick and fast,
So that have to turn my gaze
Upon the pleasant coming days;
And onward upward will tread,
Until gainIthe mountain head;
Therefore you cannot fail to see
"What life holds to gladden. Me-"
Prom childhood to the present day
I've kept upon 'Life's sunny way
I've oft been tempted from my track,
But never falterSd or turned back;
The warbling wild-birds cheered me on,
At morn and eve, with sweetest song
From every leafy wsyside tree
Their cheering notes have glAddened me.
As onward DER life's sea I glide,
/ am content and satisfied;
II happiness you don't pursue,
Ills pretty sure to come 10 you,
And sweetly, calmly make its nest
Within thy weary, restless breast;
Therefore you cannot fail to see
"What life holds to gladden. me-"
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15

How do you like me, now r asked bal.
le of her spouse, 40 she sailed into the room
With o sweeping train Of muslin follow ing
her. Well said he, to tell yoo the truth,
il 10 impossible for me to like you any
longer ...
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15

Take board, say foot wide gnd four
Feet long, puncture it with many holes
With Q small bit, put it inside the head
board and next to the bed and pillows; i.
there is bug about the bed it viii find
the way TO the holes IN the board soos.--
Take it out Of its place every morning,
bold 1t over ire or water, and give il few
raps with the hammer. then put in place
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15

Why is lawyer like restless man in
bed ~
Because he lies first on one side and then
be Surns over and lies Oh the other side.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15

LARA correspondent Of the Bostoff
Adoerttse1 says:
i have good authority for stating that +,
over one thOesand persons whose namss
have been 0ubhehed in the papers % bsy.
ing been drafted Ia this city, have left for /,
the British provincss.' - :.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15
QUESTIONS.

/. Are you mail or femail? ifso, state
how long you have been so.
2. Are you subject tn fits, and if so, do
yu hav more than one at timer
8. What is your fften watel
4. Did you ever hav, emmy ancestors, and
if so, how much2
5. What is your legal opinion ov the
cOnstitutionality oV the ten command
mentsi
6. Did you ever have emmy Mite
maresf
7. Are yu married and single, or are yu
q bachelor?
8. Du yu believe in futur state3 Ifyu
du, state it.
9. What are yure private sentiments
about rush ov rats tn the head, can it be
did successfully
10. Hav yu ever committed suiside, and
if go, how did it seem to affect your
After answering the abuv questions like
q man, 10 the copfrmatif, the silk little fat
old Teller with gold specs on, ced was tn
sured fur life, and probably would remain
so for q term of years. / thanked him and
smiled one Of mi most pensiVs smiles. TIE
POughkeepsian.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15

Msny persons write because they have
nothing else TO DO, rot considering that
Shey have also nothing to say.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15

Il b mid thlt Jodgs esbsstis6s HzS
SUI holds /. ssai u the ssnsts from ~
ing never fOrfsitsd II By sny sal Of dislsy{n
sligs on 80
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15

An arChissci proposes TO build '.Bache'
IcF's Ball, !" which win di1sR from most
bouses in having no Ewes" .rs -ls
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15

Have not offered you every sdVan.
tage = said 9 kind and dOting father 70 bic
son.
oh, yes,' replied the youth; but
could not think Of taking advantage Of my
father
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15

Predjudices are like rats, and mans
mind like a trap; they get in easily, and
then perhaps can't get out Of all.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15

Why is . gracious man like Q benevolsnI
onei He Is always forgiting.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15

Some hypOcritical prayers 10 church are
intended to cheat the congregation, others
the Lord. sag ~
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1863-09-15

Why cannot the Emperor Napoleon Ia
sure bis life Because nobody can make
oat bis policy. sas