The daily Evansville journal. (Evansville, Ind.) 1862-1863, 1863-01-17
lFrom the New York Mercury.
From Orpheus G. Kerr.
FROM WASHINGTON.

Ns hNAAs
FROM WASHINGTON.
EDITOR T. T.: As 1 make it practice
to pay all my honest debts, my boy, and
have never Aagellated person of Afri-
can descent, could not properly come
under the head of "Chivalry in an
American dictionary, though | might
possibly come under its feet in the I'm
ion-as-it-was," yet have that in my ma
ture which revolts at the thought OF war
against woman, and am sufficiently chiv-
alrous to defend any cause whose effects
are crinoline The bell-shaped structure
called Woman, my boy, was created eX-
pressly to conquer unresisting adverse
ries; to win engagements withoutreceiv
ing blow, and to do pretty much as
she pleases, by pleasing pretty much as
she does. She is a harmless creation of
herself, my boy; and to war directly
against her, because she may chance to
influence her male friends to war against
us, is about as sensible as it would be to
execrate our halter because gust of
wind blows our new beaver into the mud.
If the halter had not made the hat, the
wind could not have blown it off, and if
God had not made woman, she could not
encourage the well-known Southern Con-
federacy against us; but shall we turn
enemy to the halter, or to the woman, on
this account? Not if we know our
selves, my boy, and recognize the high
moral spirit of justice observable in the
Constitution
Being thus possessed of a reverence
for that sex whose bonnets remind me of
L. 10 I rafrotn from
frowning Indignantly upon that horrible
spirit of national tyranny which has in
spired Sergeant O'Pake, of the democrat
lied Mackerel Brigade, to issue the fol-
lowing
GENERAL ORDER.
For the purpose of simplifying nation
al strategy to those conservative women
of America, who, while engaged in the
pursuit of happiness as guaranteed by
the Constitution, desire to visit the South
ern Confederacy, it is ordered that they
shall answer the following paternal
questions before passing the lines of the
Mackerel brigade:
l. For how many years has your age
been Just twenty-five?
H. How many novels do you consume
per week2
III. Were you ever complained of to
the authorities for inordnate piano-forte
playing?
". Do you work slippers for the hea-
then2
V. If so, for what he, then?
VI What newspaper " Marriages and
Deaths" do you consider the best2
VII In selecting church to attend,
what colored prayer-book do you find
most becoming to your complexion?
VIII. How much display of neck do
you consider necessary to indicate a
modesty which shrinks from showing an
ankle?
TX. Did you ever stoop to folly? or is
it folly alone that stoops to you?
X. Did you ever eat as much as you
wanted at dinner when members of the
opposite sex were opposite?
1t is also ordered, that no female
visitor to the celebrated Southern Con-
federacy shall carry more than eight
large trunks, and bonnet-box for each
month in the year; and that no female
shall pass the line whose dimensions in
full dress exceed the ordinary space be-
tween two pickets, as the latter will on
no account, be permitted to edge away
from their stations in this trying crisis
in the history of our distracted country
O'PAKE,
Sergeant Mackerel Brigade.
This inhuman order had scarcely been
issued, my boy, when there came to the
Mackerel lines in front of Paris virtu-
GUS young female, aged %, with the fig
ures reversed, who was disguised with
the great vulgarity of the North, and
wished to visit the manageable South
ern Confederacy, having heard that the
Confederacy was carefully outstanding
its resources. Being poor girl, with
nothing to wear" she only had seven
Saratoga trunks, ten band5oxes, four
teen small carpet-bags, and lap-dog;
yet the illbred O'Pake was suspicious
enough to examine one of her trunks
He ruthlessly opened it in her pres
ence, and, my boy, it quickly met with
the horrible fate which was at once i'm
mortalized by the Mackerel Chaplain in
the following awful presentment:
BASE TYRANNY,S PENALTY