M'arthur Democrat. (McArthur, Vinton County, Ohio) 1853-1865, 1863-11-26
MAJOR JACK DowNING's LETTER.
NUMBER TwENTY-sEvKN.

The very next day aiter l writ you
my last letter, / got ore from Lnkin,
tellin me | must cum on without fail.
lie sed he was in a peck of trubbil
about his meSsige - that Chase an
Seward were pullin rite in contrary
direcshins, and what to do he didn't
know. SO jest picked up my things,
took my pipe in my mouth an my ole
hickery in my hand, and startod. |
strapped my ak on the outside Of my
trunk, for this is the only wecpin,
besides nay hickory cane, that | ever
carry. Going down to the cars | met
Deacon jenkins, who went on to
Washinton, you rccoIlcct, to make the
Kernels sojor clothes, an ses he,
"Majer, what ale you takin Your axe
with you to Washinton TOR y "Wal,"
ses |, deacon, | expect | shall get
awful, tarin mad with them Abolish.
inists this winter in Washinton, an
ther amt eny way that | kin work of
a fit of that kind except by goin out
to the wood house an chopin wood.
So | determined to take along my axe.
1t is the ono the old Ginnoral used
when he got mad, an | have always
preserved it TO remember him, ef
nothin elsC."
got to Washinton all safe, and
went direct to the White House. The
feller who tends tho door didn't know
me at first; but when he saw my
hickery he began to open his eyes, |
tell you. SEES he, "You are Maier
Downing, | believe" bowin like an
scrapen his feet, as Of he thought |
keered for that. Ses |, "Yos, Pm
Majer Jack Downing, an you jest tell
the President, about as quick as time
will let you, that Pm here" So he
run up stairs, an | went after him,
Stoppin in tho room where the oiIis-
seekers have to wait, to take good
look down the Potomack to see ef
things looked material. hadn't stood
there more than a mint when who
should cum up behind mo but Linkin
himself. lie caught right hold Of my
hand, an ses he, "Majcr, how arc
you Pun tickled to deth to bee YOU :"
and he kept shaken my hand as CT he
Thought it was made OF letber. Ses |,
"Kernel, do you want me to help
write your messigo ?" Ses he, "Of
course do, Majer." "Wal then,"
Scs |, please don't shake that hand
eny moro, for you've pretty nigh
mashed it now" "Wall," srs he,
"Majcr, | couldn't help it, Tor it seems
as eI Providence sent you jest in the
nick OF time" Ses |, "How is that 2"
"Wal," SOS he, "thc Cabynet is in
session, an Ive jest finished tellin
them one OF Artemus Wards best
stories, an got 'em all into a good
hnmor. The messige is the very thing
they met to discuse, an you're cum
rite in tue nick OF time" hitting me,
as he spoke, slap on the back that
made The cold chiIs run over me.
Nothin would do but | must 90 in
an hear tho discusshin. So walked
in as large as lite. knew 'em all,
an they all knew me. They preten-
ded to be rale glad to see me, partic.
ularly, Stahtin; /; but he needn't try to
deceive me, for under them spectacles
of his | see pair OF hYena eyes. |
tell you that man will bear watcLin.
Howsoever, | sed nothin but after
the how-to-does were over, laid my
old hickery on the table, took ont my
pipe, an went to sinokin. The Kernel
then called the meetin to order, an
sed he wanted short ackount of each
department, so he could fix up his
messige, an he also wanted the Opin.
ion OF each one as to what he thought
ought to be done with the Southern
States after the rebellyon is crushed.
First, he called upon Seward.
Wal, Seward sed that iurrin aHaire
were all rite that he had offered to
carry out the policy Of England all
over the country, an set up a mon
archy, ef necessary, to put down the
Dimmycrats, an that upon his faith
fully promisin to do this, The British
Government at once seized the rebi
rams. That as Tor the southern otates
he thought the best thing that coulC
be done with them, for the good o
the country an the great cause OF hu
manity, was to turn 'em all into one
big plantation an make ThurloW
Weed Chief Manager.
Their Chase spoke. He sed the
finances were in a hourisbing condi
shin. ue now had five hundred
printin presses to work maxim money;
that the debt warn't only $4,000, ,000,'
100000; that every body was gettin
rich, an that the way to treat the sou