Litchfield enquirer., 1863-10-22


 Yonng ladies who faint on being proposed to can be restored to consciousness by just whispering in their ear that you were only joking.
 Typographical errors come in very odd some times. The other day we were reading des- cription of enthusiastic demonstrations at a political gathering, when the type went on with -" The air was rent with the snouts of three thousand people"
 A precocous boy being askel in his geogra- phy what they raised in South Carolina replied i" they used to raise niggers and cotton but now they are raising the devil.'
 I'm afraid you'll forget me, wife, while I'm away said a brave officer Never fear, my dear, the longer you are away in your country s service the better shall like you A little boy was asked, the other day. if he was Copperhead. "No,' said he, looking down at his feet, " I'm copper toed."
 Better die than be eonquered,' says the Richmond Whig. As you please, rebels; you pays your money and takes your choice"
 A pcddler called on an old lady to dispose of some goods, and inquired of her if she could tell him of any road which no pedler had trav- eled. " Yes," said she, " I know one, ard on- ly one, that is the road to heaven. SCENE AT RECRUITING OFFIcE.-Lady-Has Charles August Spooney enlisted here Oficer-Yes, Ma'am. Lady-Well. I wish to have him discharged because he is under age. Oficer-Is he your son Lady-No he is my husband.
 Oficer-In that case he will have to stop where he is. If he is old enough to- get mar ried, he is old enough to fight. Good morning Ma'am.
 "Oh, am so glad You like birds. What kind do you most admire r! said young wife to her husband. "Ahem Well, I think a good turkey, with plenty of dressing" said the husband, ssis about as nice as any," An Irishman recently handed into the tsle- graph office dispatch intended to inform an- other Emeralder, employed upon the public works in neighboring town of the decease of friend. It reads thus :"Barney come home died last night"
 A private letter from -, Ala, says "Our minister nearly got himself into a scrape the other day and whether he is "a bit of wag or very careless fellow, or an abolition trait or,' is now the topic of discussion with us. At the meeting on fast day he gave out Dr. Watts kym, commencing
 And are we wretches yet alive,
 And do we yet rebel;
 'Iis wondrous. 'tis amazing grace,
 That we are out of he'll
 An enraged parent had jerked his provoking son across his knee and was operating or the exposed portion of the urchin's person with great vehemance when the young one dug in. to the parental leg with his venomous little teeth. "Blazes What are you biting me for P " We'll, who beginned this cruel war 2
 A gentleman inquired of carpenters boy, " My lad, when will this job your master has now on hand be completed ?'' !" can't tell. sir, said the honest boy, artlessly; it's day job, and it will depend upon how soon the old man las another order"
 Some young men who were travelling among the White Mountains recently, stopped at farm house and called for milk. After they had drank large quantity the woman of the house brought them all enormous bowl fuli, with the touching remark <: One would think. gentlemen, that you had never been weaned?'
 Artemas Ward is in New ' ork and IS nego. tiating by telegraph with Manager Mcclure of San Francisco for professional tour in Cali fornia. McGuire's last telegram was, What will you take for the first thirty nights ?' To which Altemus replted Brandy and water" The negotiation progresses slowly.
 Why is mkman like Pharaoh's daughter Because he takes little profit out of the water
 A young lady being asked by boring poll. tician which party she was in favor of, replied that she preferred wedding party. What birrid he is, sure ? said Patrick of