The Morgantown monitor. [volume] (Morgantown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1863-1864, 1863-12-05

Smoking out a Captain-and-so- -so-forth.
BEVERLY, W. v, Nov. II, 1863.
Dear "I,on-Czod'':: AS the election
is over and BRows having knocked
the Bur from Dett's limbs, | venture
to give you few ''items of laugha-
Bile interest," which occur "here or
hereabouts, as Tom Surghnor said
Just before the Battle of Philippi. in
the first place Gen. AEvRILL licked the
rebels at Droop Mountain like thun-
der. The prisoners that were bro t
in here said: "We were outgeneral-
ed, outfought, and id badly whip
ped by that Dutchman, meaning
AvER1LL. | do not know whether
the General IS descendent Of Teu-
tonic race or not; but this do know
he will fight, and he has fighting
men under him. He captured a small
pocket pistol from Gen Echols-
weight 767 pounds-2O pounder-
and about 100 stand of small arms,
besides "hull lot Of other things.
"Sich is life
AS the earth has resumed her last
winter coat of slushiness, the beys of
this Department have to resort to all
kinds of amusement in order to pass
off the time. They meet in different
places and talk over love matters,
cook book knowledge, &c. The 9th
er day, after hard skirmish drill,
we met in the Suffers House, and
were talking about love matters,
when "six-feet-sixer' entered. He
was a "good-natured foel'' and had
learned thatdepzoy meant toscatter ou'
or something of that kind. In the
course Of the conversation some one
said that some men had taco girls to
love, but for his part, one was as
much as he could manage. "Six-feet'
six" said-"Pshaw! | have five or
six girls to love at the same time; if
man only loves 'one gal, he is in
danger of going crazy, but if he has
five or six, and keeps his affections
deployed out, he is safe. If that is
not an original idea, l have DO more
to say. Who ever heard of spread
ing out your affections2 1t is worse
than "piling on the agony. y
We have some queer cooking "out
in the mountains. Pies Chat new
er heard the grunt of a hog, much
less partook Of any of his grease, are
brought in by the "natives." 1t is
an easy matter to find room for the
pies; inst take a nail and nail 'em up
to the WALL" they will hang there
the same as piece Of leather, or an
old hat. Tough? Gumelastic and Ju-
jube Paste, sink into oblivion when
compared to the ''native pies of this
country. I endeavored to fathom
the modus operandi of getting such a
"fne edge of toughness in them,
but could not; but the Sd Va. solved
the mystery for me- A large, full
breasted-in- the back, dish-faced, dog
legged, wall-eyed individual, who
looked like he had bass drum hang
ing around his neck-very knowing
ly remarked that be "could not tell
how they managed to make their pies
so tough, unless they baked them
the long soay Of the -four - That,
you may we'll suppose, brought down
the house-a large brick-so badly
down that I don't believe it will ever
60 back up again! I think the pie
bakers took the brick of that house
off with them to build ovens to bake
large pie in for the man who made
that last remark.
All Jokes are free in the Army. It
would make you spread your 'Jeed-
trap to see some of our Teutenic
individuals walking up street with a
"Card' pinned to their backs label
led "Old Lager-This side up with
care" Then to hear the Teutonic
pray when he fiuds it out. Did you
ever hear one? 1t is something in
this style: ssGot tam, Shesus Chris
Hi; if | find 'em py tam, III
mugger his headt.'' Then, there's
where the laugh comes in.
It is a common thing to have a
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