Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1863-06-18
Warietp.

"DAuY EVENING MAH"-A lover call
ing on his sweetheart.
MovrNe for new trial-Courting q
second wifc,
THr following words if spelt backward
or forward, arc the same :; "Name no
one man."
YouSe ladies educated to despise man
kind, generally finish thoir studies by
running away with footmen.
Why should little man beware OF
marrying a bouncing widow because
he might be called the widows mite"
An Irish painter announced in an
Irish Journal, that among other portraits
he had representation of Death, as large
as life
ONr THING DEcIpED.-That Joe Hook
er is not competent person to criticise
the campaigns of Gen. Mcclellan.
He who breaches war is cit chaplain
for the devil.--Horace Man.
The Essence of Abolition is-"Be-
lieve as do, or you are traitor.
Few rich men have cattle and sheep
upon a thousand hills, but many poor
ones have corn and potatoes in several
thousand.
FIRE is a good thing in the house, but
it should be in the chimney and not in
the wife's cooking the victuals,
not roasting the husband.
WuEN man now a-days, wishes to
communicate the intelligence that a
daughter has been added to the family,
he says his domestic affairs have ap-
preached cry-Sis.
THOSE who walk most are generally
heslthiest the road Of perfect health is
too narrow for wheels
An anonymous letter is mode Of NOR
al murder, which using only pen for
poignard, an inkstand for bowl, poi
sons confidence and stabs character,
without fear Of detection.
WHAT is the difference between o la
dy's riding dress, and hare pursued by
dogs One is hiding rabbit, the other
riding habit.
"YoU can't do that again." said the
pig, when the boy cut his tail off.
WHAT is that which belongs to your.
self-yet is used by everybody ? Your
name.
If a pig desires to build itself habi-
tation how would it set about it 1t
would tie O knot in its tail and call it a
pigs tie.
Ir is no use to take a lazy man to task,
he won't perform it if you do
"Too big for his business" as the lady
said Of the sweep who stuck in the chin.
ney.
AN Irish paper advertises, Wanted,
an able bodied man as a washer woman"
"IT striks me-" said an orator "Thcn
why don't you strike it back ? shouted"
sailor in the audience,
"WnY is Printer and pretty girl
alikeW % They both make impressions" "
Now, what's the difference between the
impressions % ''Why, ones on paper,
and one on the heart
Ara printers festival the following
toast was given "The Editor and the
Lawyer--the devil is satisfied with the
copy Of the former, but requires the or-
ginal Of the latter.
"IM great gun /" said Printer who
had been induIging quito freely in Lager
Beer, and had been on bender for a
week. eyes" said the foreman. you're
a great gun and half cooked, and may
consider yourself discharged" "Well,
said tho typo'stickcr; "thcn hal better
go Off"
Buy fair sell fair. and love the fair
fnt. ,l,o
OF living fair life,
a Boston man has invented new
pocket that he calls "thief proof" We
think our people need some change in
their pockets,
Three largo mass meetings have alrca-
dy been held in New Jersey to protest
against Vallandigham's exile, and We see
that five moro arc advertised to come off
in the coming week.
THERE is not lazy bone in Jones'
body, Only yesterday he earned a shil-
ling holding clothes horse while band
OF music was passing
IT is thought to be question worthy
OF consideration, whether II person whose
voice is broken, is not on that account
better qualified to sing "pioces,"
DEAN Rwift truthfully remarked, tha
"it is useless to attempt to reason a mar
out of thing he has never been reasoned
into"
WHES the last child is born and grown
Christmas may be struck from the calan
der without being missed or mourned.
CoNvINoE a wiso man OF his error AM
he will thank you; convinc ca fool, and h
will insult you.
THERE is a chap out West with hair e.
red, that when he goes out before day, h
liz taken for sunrise, and the cocks begi
to crow.
DoDDs says he has one of the most obe
dient boys in the world. lie tells him /,
do as he pleases, and he does it withou
murmuring.
VIZ are told to pray in corner, but
good many Christian, so called, arc nev
or cornered in that way