The Cass County Republican. [volume] (Dowagiac, Mich.) 18??-1880, 1863-02-19
From the Continental Monthly.
The Mishaps of Miss Hobbs.


"New beauties push her from the stage;
She trembles at the approach of age;
And starts, to view the altered face
That wrinkles at her in the glass"
i TRuMBLULL's Progress Of Duiness.
CHAPTER I.
Ann Harriet Hobbs was getting cured
of her youth. She was going back
ward,' as the French say of peopl,
when Time is running forward, and
they themselves are being forwarded a
little too rapidly by his Express. All
the ladies said so of her; all the gen
tlemen said SO; and, worse than all,
even the mirror made similar refec
tions little-the only difference being
that the ladies and gentlemen said So
behind her back, but the mirror cx
pressed it before her face. One by
one her sisters and companions ripened
and were plucked by the admiring
crowd, but Ann Harriet remained un-
touched. No one even pinched her tc
see if she were good. And finally, as
the throng were rapidly passing on, it
became her settled conviction that she
must shake herself into some ones
hands, or she would be left to wither
forsaken on the ancestral tree.
Ann Harriet, like some patent medi
cines. was not bad to take. True, chill
dren did not cry for her as they did for
the famous cough lozenges of old 4;
but the fact was, that in Peony-
town most of the people were
homeopathists, and preferred small
doses; therefore Ann Harriet, who
was popularly reported to weigh three
hundred and6ne pounds.-yires acgui-
rit e,ndo-was altogether too large a
dose for auy gentleman of the homeo
pathic persuasion. Possible, if Ann
Harriet could have been divided into
twin sisters Of about one hundred and
fifty pounds each, her matrimonial
chances would have greatly increased
for however it may have been in years
past, this putting two volumes into one
is not at all popular at the present duo
decimal time.
| Business, too, was dull in Peony
town, and the men could rot offord to
marry wife who would require TWEEN
ty-fve yards for dress, when they
could get one that ten yards would Gov
er up.
Miss Hobbs's twenty sixth birthday
was approaching. She could see it il
the dim distance, and she knew too
well that the twenty seventh was
ready to follow it up; and that Tim,
stepped heavier than he used to-th,
clumsy fellow for, Handsome as sh,
was, she could see the marks of his fee
on her face.
Ann Harriet had an uncle residins
in Boston, whom she had never seen
but had often heard him favorabI,
spoken of 10y her mother, whose onl,
brother he was. Ann therefore deter
mined that she would write to he
Uncle FarnswOrth, and ask him if j
would be agreeable should she visit hin
for few weeks.
Her letter met with cordial respons
from the old gentleman, who expressed
himself, 'highly gratified at the pros
pect' of seeing his sisters daughter
named the day for her to come, an,
said that Gregory, his SON. would NEE
her at the railroad station in Boston
when the train arrived.
Ann Harriet had never been in Bos
, ton, and the thoughts of journe,
thither animated her "to a degree.
Her wardrobe was renovated bran
new bonnet was purchased; and as al
Peonytown was informed that it was t
be deprived of her presence for severa
weeks. the "meeting house" was o
course filled on the following Sunda,
to hear Parson Bulger preach about it
for he was one of the new-fashionet
f ministers, who considered the Bible a
a wornout book, and generally preached
from newspaper text, or the last ex
citing piece of news. Alas they wer
disappointed for the sermon was o
: Barnum's Baby Show.
The appointed day came, and An
!. Harriet paid Seth Bullard, the butcher
e boy, quarter Of a collar to "carry
her and her luggage over to the Ye
low6eld depot, where she was to tax