The dollar weekly bulletin. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1862-1864, 1863-05-28


put in the pie crust, besides sugar. eggs and
ailspice, I heard him saying to himself, &
pint of eggs and six grains of sugar, spice
and then taste.' Here, Bob here's n en-
igma for you to solve; how in the world
shall l weigh pint of eggs and count, six
grains of sugar?' 'Oh, that is easy enough
use the scale for the eggs and the micro
| scope for the sugar, and for the spice,
should think ginger and cinnamon would
| do; l really believe you don't know the first
thing about cooking-s pretty husband you
would make--don't forget the milk, you
will find it in the store-room.' .f'
A smothered laugh came from the store
room, and softly whispered 'look here,
Bob l tip-toed along, expecting to fud a
tiger or rattlesnake, but what a sight m ct
my eve; there sat Miss Grmalkin and her
interesting family of four; tapping the milk
reserved for our pudding. Woman's weapon n
was in great demand, and divorce was
granted between Mistress Broom and Mr..
Handle-and our biscuit also fastened the
exit of the Grimalkin, Junior, (two of whom
never again made their appearance,) while
their affectionate parent made a shining
path through a square of glass. AS Tom
was errand boy, he took a large pitcher and
went out for more milk. While he was
L
no more sorrow there when to my sorrow
the door bell rang, and being directly over
my head, was the cause of gymnastic ex-
hibition, which closed with the downfall of
China, and with pantomime gestures. ]
stood amid the ruins, and thought of the
confusion of Babel. Ding, ding, went the
bell, each peal louder than the last. I could
not go to the door, for I was not dressed to
receive callers. As / was creeping along,
and when almost to the door, I stepped up
on my apron, and like dutiful subject I
obeyed the laws of gravitation, ana struck
my head with such force that I saw stars
without looking for them. I heard laugh
outside, and some one said: 'Oh, can wait;
please put the trunk on the steps, I groan-
ed both mentally and physically, oh, if
Tom would only come; he could go to the
door, for he looked quite decent Our
caller, whoever it might be, was determined
to enter. oh! Tom, why don't y ou come?
and, as if in answer to my wish, heard a
crash down below. .f.
I ran down stairs, and there lay poor
Tom on his face, completely deluged with
milk-the pitcher broken and the fragments
scattered all over the hoor-streams of milk
running in all directions.
4 should think you ought to know better
than to leave broomstick across the door
way for fellow to tumble over; here have
spoilt my clothes, cut my nose, and can't
tell you what internal injuries l have sus-
tanned, and all through your carelessn ess.-
If this is what you call housekeeping, I
must say that'I am heartily sick of it. You.
may finish that puddiDg-I won't touch it,
Hush, Tom, don'tspeak so loud; if you do
we are ruined men. We have no time to
cry for split milk, for we have company on
the doorsteps, and they are determined to
gain entrance; there's that bell again; it's
no use, might as we'll go to the door,
1 took off my apron, smoothed my hair,
washed my hands, and put on my company
face, while Tom went to his room to make
himself whole, leaving footprints by the
way, not such as Lougfellow would have US
leave, to cheer the heart of a forlorn brother,
but footsteps that an ambitious brother
mightIsee. and, like his predecessor, aspire
to tread the milky way. II.
l opened the door, and there stood the
haudsomest specimen of humanity my eyes
ever beheld. As soon as she looked at me,
she burst into a hearty laugh, and when she
recovered her breath, laugh, was intro
duced between every word, as she asked me
if Mrs. G. was at home.g No, Miss, she is
not at home; she is out of town., stammer-
ed She will not be gone long, I suppose,
and can stop until she returns $50
Visions of broken China, split milk, and !
half baked pies foated before me, and |
thought it no sin to tell one of Mrs. Opie's. |
She will probably be gone some time; six /
weeks, believe.' ..i >. q. r ..t -5s.
L never knew aunt to stay so long from
home; but l must stop at least one night, |
for it is past car time, and can not return !;
until to- morrow What could DO? surely =
I Iar -baf
me was the niece, the heiress of whom l |
had heard such eXtravagant praises, and
whatmade me feel still more uncomfortable
was the provoking smile that appeared
whenever she looked at me. / wondered
what could be the cause of her merriment
Surely 1t could not be me, who was called
the finest looking young man in town..
Som ething must be done, so I invited the
young lady in, and excusing myself, went
to TOMS room to see if he had survived his
downfall. The exclamation that greeted
me- as 1 opened the door was in no way
hattering to my pride: MY! Bob, you havn't
been to the door with that face?' 'Of course
/ have, and served not only as door tender,
but as committee of arrangements, and have
introduced the lady into the parlor, and am !,
now waiting for you to go down with me /
and entertain her. -''sl'c.s7. sy sta. !.
'Oh dear,I shall die; look in the glass, :
Bob;' and holding on to lis sides he slid
from his chair to the floor, and rolled over
and over with such velocity that really |
thought he had gone crazy. 1 looked in the}
glass. Of horrors. what face presented it,
self! Ny head looked as if it had blossom I
ed from the -four barrel; on my head were
two marks. commonly called beauty spots; |.
(but l,called them honid spots;) my nose,
my beautiful nose, that was the most m ark /
ed feature of my fscs-it looked as il 1t had
been dipped in ink. o.
How do you like the looks-don't you
think the lady will be charmed! On! dearFl
and Tom went into rolling fit. I made no
IL. for tha Annr i