The southern aegis, and Harford County intelligencer., 1863-10-16
How to Procure a Husband.

The following true story might, per-
haps, furnish matter for little comedy,
if comedies were still written in England.
1t is generally the case that the more
beautiful and richer young female is,
the more difficult are both the parents
aud herself in their choice of husband,
and the offers they refuse. The one is
too tall, the other too short, this not
wealthy, that not respectable enough
Meanwhile, one spring passes after anoth-
or, and each year carries away leaf of
the blossom of youth and opportunity. rn
oi Miss Harriet Selwood was the richest
heiress in her native town; but she bad
already completed her tweuty-seventh year,
and beheld all her young friends united
to men she had at one time or other dis
oarded. Harriet began to be set down
for an old maid Her parents became.
really uneasy, and she herself lamented
in private positioSwhich is not natu-
raj one, and which to those whom nature
aud fortune have been SO niggardly of
their gifts, are obliged to submit; but
Harriet, as we have said, was both hand
some and very rich. Such was the state
Of thiAgs, when her uncle, wealthy mer-
chant in the north of England, came on a
visit to her parents. He was jovial,
lively, straightforward man, accustomed
to attack all difficulties boldly and coolly.
"You see,'' said her father to him one
day, "Harriet continues single. l. The
girl is handsome, what she is to have for
her fortune you know even in this scan
dal.loving town not single creature can
breathe the slightest imputation against
her; and yet, she is getting to be an old
maid" .,t ..,ri f- ... ....-.f r... ..,a
"True," replied the uncle; "but look
you, brother, the grand point in every af-
fair in this world is to seize the right mo-
meut this you have not done. It is a
misfortune; but let the girl go along with
me, and before the end of three months I
will return her to you as the wife of a
man as young and wealthy as herself"
Away went the niece with her uncle.
On the way home he thus addressed her
s9u"Mind what I am going to say. You
are no longer Miss Selwood, but Mrs.
Lumley, my niece, a young, wealthy,
childless widow. You had the misfor-
tune to lose your husband, Col. Lumley,
after a happy union Of a quarter of a year,
BY fall from his horse while hunting ,"
lHBut, uncle----'' gtt u .yj gf
me manage, if you please, Mrs.
Lumley. Your father invested ME with
full powers Here, look you, is the wed,
ding ring given you by yourlate husband.
Jewels, and whatever else you need, your
aunt will supply you with and accustom
yourself to cast down your eyes.'
The keen-witted uncle introduced his
niece everywhere, and the young widow
excited great sensation. The gentlemen
thronged about her, and she soon had her
choice out of twenty suitors. Her uncle
advised her to take the one who was deep
est in love with her, and rare chance
decreed that this should be the most ami
able and opulent. The match was soon
concluded, and one day the uncle desired
to say few words to his future nephew
in private. d9 r,ah &d1 .ia5ed epyide4fl
"My dear sir" he began, "we have
told you an untruth.p eeiat igIsa3a "a
IaHow so2goAre Mrs. Lnmley's afec-
tions----r7igslq 3uodliW ,l8tue % esoog5
j"Nothing jof the kind. Ny niece is
sincerely attached to you" i gsUod
,a "Then her fortune, i suppose, is not
equal to what you told me?' ,t8yns9naz
f. son, the contrary, tits larger" eajlsi
l1a4aWell, what is the matter, then2" Ii
l8I"A joke, au innocent joke, which came
into my head one day when I was iD a
good hpmor, and we could not well recall
| Il afterwards. i Ny niece is not q widow"
asWhat! is Col, Lumley living" .aa.
a"No,,she is Q spinster," ..5 4,.j
| 4, The lover protested that he was . hap
pier fellow than what he had conceived
himself; and the old maid was forthwith
metamorphosed iuto young wife.