Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1863-07-04
WISE AND OTHERW1s1n.

WISE AND OTHERW1sT.
~ .- -. - .:-yse~ .v.'#vh)
OF all the Percy family, the mobiles. is
Percy We're, (persevere) and the most
cruel, Percy Cute (persecu:e) '}.S'
Even Brigham Young's wives arc al:
their husband Briggy>dear. ~- ..'.t
Why are The Marys the Ns1oI amiable Of
their sex Because they can always bs
Moly-fed 'r - -r,',.a
A Boston man has invented new poe.
ket that he calls "tbief. proof" 81 Our peo.
pie must need some change in their
pockets. ',.'.,..,...
Appropis of this is the following: On
hearing a clergyman remark, "The world
is full Of change" Mrs. Partington said
she could hardly bring her mind to believe
IT. 90 little found its way into her pocket.
Said a woman to an old maid, ''My
husband is not so good a husband as he
should be, but he is powerful sight bet.
ter than none"
A young lady being asked by boring
politician which party she was in favor OF,
replied that she preferred q wedding
party. .''o
A physician, once in company with
others OF the cloth, thus boasted: II was
the first to discover the Asiatic cholera,
and-communicats 1t to the public
/ When Rabelais was on bis death bed, a
consultation Of physicians was called. -
"Dear gentlemen,' said the wit to the
doctors, raising his languid head, "let me
die natural DEATH"
| Charles Lamb, playing at whist with
Hazlitt, when the latters hands were rath.
or dirty, said TO him: "Hazlitt, if dirt
we're trumps what ine haud you would
have"
| Never did an Irishman utter q better
bull than did an honest John, who being
asked by friend: HAS your sister son
or u daughterf" answered: "Upon nv
tife, lido not yet know whether I am un.
Gle or aunt" -, ...: ~.
A few days since town crier took in
charge lost child, and proceeded to hunt
up its parents. On being asked by q lady
what the matter was, he replied: Here's
an orphan child, ma'am, and I'm trying
to find ito parents"
| II is q beautiful saying of somebody
that gratitude is the music of the heart
when its chords are swept by the gentle
breeze Of kindness" Many hearts, how
ever, might as we'll be strung with bed
cord for any music of gratitude that ever
comes from them.
A poet was walking with N. Talleyrand
in the street, and at the same time recis.
ing some OF his own verses. Talleyrand
perceiving at short distance mau yaw.
nlng, pointed him out to his friend, say,
ing Not SO loud, he hears you."
There is an Irishman employed as
bridge hand down East, who brass of
having time.p piece that keeps correct
time. He was heard to remark, few
mornings since, upon pulling out bis
watch u: "If the sun amt over that hill in
a minnit and half, he will be late"
An aged spinstsr was wont to console
herself for her disappointments in the
matrimonial line by the following rehec-
ton: "lf she had been married and had
. baby, and the poor thing had crawled
into the oven aud burnt itself to death,
what horrible thing it would have been.
Mrs Elderberry says there must be a
great many children killed on battle
fields, as there are always so many small
arms found after 6ght.
The Way Of Writing Modern Roman.
es-Albert rode with the speed of an
arrow 70 the garden, sprang like the wind
from his steed. climbed like squirrel
over the hedge, writhed like snake
through the. palings, few like hawk to
sse arbor, crept up to her all unseen,
threw himself psssionateiy ut her feet,
swore frantically that he would shooc
himself, was, however Immediately heard.
seated himself in blessed delight at her
side, sank on her bosom, swan in a sea Of
bl'ss-dN this scas the cork Of a second!
A newspaper publisher who fell short
Of printers, when the boya left for the
war, asked q neighbor who had number
OF educated daughters, if he had any
! girls that could set type; to which his
neighbor replied, that he did not know
about the girls, but be had wife that
would make . most excellent "deyil." rct
- IN Undsniabe gFdct-Aa would.b
orator once said: ''Sir, after much deli.
beration, consideration, and exam ination,
I have come TO the conclusion, calmly,
deterninedly aud deliberately. that IN
those cities where the population is very
large, there are larger number Of men,
women end children than ia cities where
the population is less"
i, Aano or SallaP-"Father. have you
| another wife besides mother 2"
"No, my boy-why do you ask p -
7"Beeause / saw Ia the bible that you
married Aune Domino lS49, and that
isn't mother, CAUSE her name is Sally
Smith Z .. ..'..,-.'.....sss.-
Lirers and Ligus,-"lIow rapidly they
build houses, now-a-days,' said Enos, as
he pointed 1T : three story house; 'they,
com menced that building only last week
and already they are pu ting in the lights.
Yea Isplisd his friend, ''and next week
they'll putin the lirsrs.s :a# s~.s ALL