The Ashland union. [volume] (Ashland, Ashland County, Ohio) 1854-1868, 1863-04-15
DIALCUGE BETWEEN ARE TIN.
- COLIN AND THE flEYdI.- -.

> DAALS JOE EtEL.WEEN ABE LIN.
{ COLIN AND TE5E DEVIL.
L. L declare, this splitting of rails l.
hard way OF getting living
u: Il IS, indeed, brother Lincoln, and 1
will put you in different way to get liyin..
if you will take my advice -
L. Ithank you, Mr.. Devil. Anything Won
please, except mauling rails, and 1 am ae
your service.
D. Well, then, viii give Won direot;ons
You see, the people of this Governments are
SO strongly united under the all-powerful Con,
stltutlon of the United States that it veisha
heavily against the interest of my kingdom,
below.
i. Yes, yes, see-you want to get tho
people of the United States divided SO as 90
dom
d. That is it, exactly, and want you ta
be conmander-inchi of the operation, and
| emigration.
I L. That's capital-for commander In
chief OF such an army and navy as you pro-
Posee, viii draw big pay, and can trust your
'devllshlp Tor the money, for We are too good
IIlends Il 10 not have confidence in each other
Dut now shalll commence this noble work
ID; Why, brother Abe. in ika arss-..l...-
We must defeat the Democrats, for they havo
got churches and other good institutions scat
tered all7ove the country and long as
they arc in power we can't accomplish much
in oar grand enterprise.
L.. That's SO, brother Devil, and was 90
ing to say that christian Democrats had already
got to be SO numerous that fear We couldu't
steal dollar from the Government without
being found out, and they will have tho an
dacity to tell US that the love of money is tho
root of all evil, and hate them for it. love
money, and I win have it, if / have to get i.
atathe price of blood; and now, sir, wait
your counsel. .sfs e8 ss = -
:. D. Very well, brother Lincoln, nv coun
sci to you is, make yourself conspicuous with
the Abolltionists, as they are all my subjects,
and we will have you elected President of the
United States, and you will then get twenty-
hye thousand dollars year for your services,
although, at the Same time, your administra-
zion must be such as to divide the Union and
create war between the Northern and Southern
States, and thereby send a good many subjects
to my kingdom below. Fraf sF4sz.t--,,
u. All I! see through it all now, although
1t looked a littlo foggy at first; and here /
will just state 10 your noble Satanic Majesty
the course will pursue when i get to be
President. You see there is q little difference
between the people of the Northern and
Southern States in relation to slavery and the
territories, and 1 viii make it pretext and
exclude slavery altogether from the territor-
les. 1t the Democrats offer to 'compromise.
we wont do it. If any of the States REBEL
and show fight, will set aside the Constitu
ton and call out the army and navy, and whip.
them-killlng good many. All this lcaih
DO with few wooden guns and clapboards.l-
Will also suspend the writ of bd6eas con lus.
50 that if Copperheads OF Butternuts say anv
thing about my disloyal or unconstitutionaI
acts, will then declare martial law and hive
them arrested and incarcerated in bastiles.
u. Brother Lincoln, this seems to be a very
Judlclous course which you have SO wiseit
marked out, and L hope you will succ ,ed. for
n n nYIn To iraar 4
ny subjects and enlarge my domiuions
L. L have no fear of defeat, for rather
han not succeed will issue my proclanaatiou:
which will free all the slaves in tho South
But it they don't get free by that, then will
'uy them at three hundred dollars head.
alling them free Americans of African de.
cent, and l will promise the Government
property to pay the debt; and by way of ex-
hange, will offer upon the altar of sacrifice
very able. bodied man in my jurisdiction at
hree hundred dollars apiece to paw the ex
ense of getting the Africans.
ID. Brother Abe, your promise to give the
government; property to pay for the free
americans Of African descent, also to offer
very abfed bodied man from the age of twen5
7 to forsyfye upon the altar of sacrifice TO
ay the expense of getting the African, looks
me a little precarious. l.
IL. What IS that you say do you mean to
lck out of this noble enterprise
u. Oh, no; but have had an experience
such game before, as I once took certain
dividual up into an exceeding high noun
in and sho,. ed him all the kingdoms of the
orld, aud promised to give them all to him
he would become my subject But hc
ould not do it, because he knew was u liar
I'd poor deyil and did not own one cents
orth of the property that promised to give
i'm.
Z. Dear brother, ]. sincerely trust il win
ot be SO in my case, although the Democrats
know am nothing but poor old rail.
litter disguised under the title of President o
, the the best you can, and if you fail and
le world turns the cold shoulder upon Won
i'll give you a ,oarn, place in my kingdom,
here you will have plenty of AboIitionists
'r associates. -. 2