The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1863-02-11
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
BLESSED are they who pay their debts.
Blessed are they who get their pay.


BLESSED are they who pay their debts.
Blessed are they who get their pay.
WHEN we sec young lady with n
sweet beauty-spot on her cheek, we feel
like kissing her on The spot ai
SWINGING is said by the doctors to be
a good exercise for the health, but many
a poor wretch has come to his death by
swinging. .,lt
A snoPKEEPER in recommending piece
Of goods TO q lady, remarked, "Madnmc
it will wear forever, and make YOU first
rate petticoat afterward."
A COUNTRY paper, in putting soap,
says it is the "best ever used for clean
ing dirty mans face. We have tried it
and therefore VIC know" .;.s
PURE love is The sunshine which steals
slowly and silently up TO the barren hill
of life, and stays to bless us with its pres
encc through all life's weary way.
THE most remarkable case of indecis-
ion NC ever heard of was that of man
who sat up all night, because he could
not decide which 10 take of first his coat
or his boots.
A sPRIeHTLY editress, in reply to cor
respondent who asks her if She wears
hoops, exclaimed: "Hoops, indeed why
zoe don't wear anything else" The itnl-
les are her own. We suppose she tells
the naked truth.
AN idle man once asked coal mer-
chant what peck of coal multiplied by
eight, divided by four, with ton added
TO them, and bushcl subtracted, would
come to2 "Well," said the coal merchant,
"if you burn 'em they'll come to ashes" /"
A FRENcnMAN one day made his ap-
pearance at the Herald's College, and told
the gentleman in waiting that he wanted
TO look at shall |" A SHALL" said his
astonished nutlitor;"n n shall oh, will
you mean" Eli Jein, it is all dc same
will or SHALL" ......,...,. -........
The court Of divorce has been engaged
in hearing q case brought by mother tc
dissolve the marriage of her son, on the
ground that he was luuatic Mt the time
of tho marriage. An old bachelor trusts
that the plea will not be granted, as il
may separate half the young couples in
the country.
CouRTsnP is ship that goes at Sc
many lovers knots m hour, and the fast.
er II goes the sooner it reaches its desti
nation, which is, of course, the United
States, where n blessed Union free from
all discord, and tho prospect of future
quarreling or separation, awaits the happy
couple!!l!!l(D .. ,lr
A New Jersey man noted for impertu-
raility and scolding wife, was stopped
in the woods one night BY a pretended
ghost. He only added: al can't stor
my friend; if you are man l must re
quest you to get out of the way and lei
me pass; if You are the devil come along
and take supper. I married your SIS
ter"
SIR William Brown, n pompous sort o
a man being at parish meeting, made
some proposals, which were objected to by
farmer. Highly enraged, he said, "Sir
do you know that l have been to two
universitiesW "Well, SIR" said the far
mer, "what of that? | had a calf that
sucked two cows, and the observation
made was, the more he sucked, the great
or calf. he grew" -.In ..
In one Of Caroline Gilman's romanccs
the following passage was marked and
much thumbed: "There is no object SC
beautiful to me rs n conscientious young
man; 1 watch him rs do star heaven
This is my Wow exactlyw sighed Mis-,
Josephine Hoops, rs she laid dowr
the volume; in fact, think there.
nothing SO beautiful MS young man, ever
if he amt so conscientious
TIE finest idea of thunder storm OK
tant was when Wiggins came home tight
Wiggins is teacher, and had drunk toe
much lemonade, or something. lie came
into the room among his wife and daugh'
ters, and just then he tumbled over the
cradle and fell whop on the floor. After
while he rose and said: Wife, arc
YOU hurt?" "No." Girls, are you
hurt" "No." "Terrible clap, wasn't
itp '.'
A TRUE WoMAN.--On the conclusion
of marriage in village church, the