The Oregon union. (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1863, 1863-02-28
CORVALLIS OREGON. SATURDAY, FEBRUARY %, 1se

now an then turn out to hunt bar. If
they caught him they used to have grand
time, get up big supper an drink whisky
till they all got how cum yousso. But if
they didn't keteh the bar. then one was
blamin tother, and luther anuther, an sum-
times the affair would end by gettin into
regular fte all around. Jest SO it is
now. IF Burnside had whipped the rebils,
it would all have been right" Ses Link
in, ses- he, 'sMajer, you're right" But
what am to do? They komplain about
the Cabbynet, an want me to change it. =
oval, :, ses Kernel, l tell you how to
sfx it. Get the gom1nitty and Cabbynet
eace to face, and let ,em quarrel it out !"
es4 hat would be a capital itl1c, i,Faj ef, bot
how am [ to do it ?" oval" ses 1, ssyou
jest call the Cabbynet together for twelve
o'clock tomorrow, an then send for the
Committy, and put 'em in the same room
together, an see how the happy family will
manage" The Kernel was struck with
the idee, and SO the next day the Cabby~
net were assembled, an pooty soon after
the Committy, with Fessenden Cheerman,
made their appearance. You never see a
more fustricated set of people in this world
than these men were. But ,here was no
backin out The Kernel called the meetin
to order, an sed he had received good
many complaints, and he wanted the mat
ter fully discussed. Fessenden got up,
an said that the people were gettin tired
of the war, an that the only way to satisfy
'em was to change the Cabbynet. Burn
side has been defeated, Banks has been
sent great ways of, when he was wanted
at home, the sojers warn't paid, the gun
boats warn't finished, &C., &c. Chase got
up first, he sed if the sojers warn't paid it
warn't his fault. The fact was, that pa
per had riz unexpectedly, an his stock was
loW. Jest as soon as paper got more
plenty, an he got the new patent National
Ten OFFENDER Revolvin Machine at work,
the sojers would be all paid regular Then
Stantin got up, putin like porpuss.
Ses he, chr President, these ere remarks
are impertinent, an if l had my way, I
would send every one Of this Committy to
the Old Capitol. I'd like to know what
these men know about war, and strategy.
Why, they talk about the defeat of Burn
side. 1t is nonsense, sir, he amt been
defeated The people are humbugged by
the newspapers in the land They inter
fere with my strategy. Burnside has
gained great success. He has Discovers
ed the strength Of the enemies works at
that pint, and now we know that some
other rcl.-o IS skeso To isi3sk, a.a-s1l =.ss
that one. Eft had not been for this bat
tie, we shouldn't have found that out
This Committy of old gentlemen, or old
women, I had almost said, don't under
stand the art Of war Their talk is sheer
impertinence. Tide squelch EN- with a
proclamashin, if no other way
Then Grandfather Welles got up, an sed
he didn't like to have fault found because
his gunboats warn't reddy He sed he
would like to see eny one who had worked
harder than he had. He sed he hadn't
slept but fourteen hours aday for six
months, while his naturel rest required
eighteen. He had sacrificed all that for
the good of his country, an he didn't be-
lieve one IF the Committy had done as
much. Blair got up an sed he didn't keel
how quick they turned him out. He was
reddy to go eny time, as he thought the
thing was played ont. Bates sed he
thought things looked more cheerful than
ever before, as he had jest discovered that
niggers could be citizens, an that the Dred
Scott decision was humbug. When they
all got thru, there was ginnerel talk al
around, and they finally cum to the conclu
shin that there warn't eny reason for 6
change after all, and they all went off in {
pretty good humor.
To the great Cabbynet erysis ended, ant
the Kernel feels like new man. My idet
of gettin them all together face to face
the Kernel ses, saved the nashun. Tha
mite we set up till after midnight, anc
finally after takin good sWig of Old Rye
went to bed. The next morning the Ker
mel was as merry as a lark, an could tel
stories as we'll as ever.
Yours till deth,
MAJER JACK DOWNING.