, 1863-10-24
PEMxkS 0F GETTING Ry,
En1pTE1.
Surgical Examination Of q Conscr{ut


rhe department. called at the OfHce where
make shoes Tor living, and handed me a biz
Wh,1e Envelope, notifying mic that / wa5
drilled and Inust report mysef for examine
Ien, 1T Law1erce, on the 18th of August.
Bow consider It the duty Of every citizen
to give lis life, If need be, for the defence Of
als country, 50 on the morning Of the event.
fM 18th, INT on clean shirt and my Sunday
clothes, and started for Lawrence to sea III
could get exempted.
Lawrence is situated On the Merrtuac
Rtyer, and Its principal productions are
muo, dust, and factorJ girls. Tie city pro.
ler. at least that saw, consisted Of ! long
naopea ee o49iaea5 % %ta S9S h ,s.oe Of st
gas-mctere. and carpeted with worn Out to.
bacco qu1dt, and furnished with one chair,
two stttees, and as many huge, euuare pack.
ipg cases, marked 20. II. o." Scattered
a,cund th1s palatia1 entrance, hall were soue
forty or fffg conseripts, looking very much
OF old age, before the yonue man with the fe-
rocious mouslache should notify them Of their
turn. Most Of them, however, were doomed
to disappointment, for while the, counted
the hours Of delay, the door would suddenly
open, and the tai young man wonld single
out a man aud march him through the open
doorway to be Seen no more.
By 5nd by-tlat is, after several hours wait
1rg-my turn came.
"Jotn Smith !" shouted the doo-keeper.
"That's me, says I, and, with cheer from
Inc crowd, l entered large Square room
where two persons sat writing at q table, and
third, evidently a surgeon, was examining
man in the last stages Of nudity
OEe OF the writer's at the table, young man
With curly eyes and blue hair, noaded to me,
ard diPI'ing his pen In the ink, commeuced-
"John Smith. what's four name :"
"Joln Smith," says J.
"Whe:e we're you born 81
tpn1rnE EnfFe u
"',What did your great-grand mother die
"Duned If know" eaysI.
&c cal t lappen;sp," Gays be; stand your
"1 don't care what you call It," says I, for
ton.
:. "Pid yon eysr ha7e boils :" sa5s he.
"Or f1ts.''
"Na1J fit.
"Or felirium trcmens?"
No tir-ce.n
HOr 1ickets?'
"l'n ricket you," says I, for thought he
meant something else.
"Did you ever have the measles =" says he,
Here took of my coat.
s'Or the itch: ~
"Yes, sir" said I-"That ere fist fand I
ehoFed very large brown one within three
inches Of his nose} has been itching for the
last ten minutes to knock your pesky head
Of. you lat!e, mean, loT'lived, contemplate
*sMy dear sir" said the uild.spolen. cen.
tlenlanly surgeon, laying his hand on my arn,
"ca1m yourself pray. Don't let your angry
passions rise, but take of your clothes. So I
can see what you are made Of
So suppressed my anger, and, withdraw
tng to corner, hung my clothes upon the
hoor, and presented myself for examination,
ri HY1fP Eff a r{n k.J
except about square inch Of court plaster
on my right shin, where had fallen over
chslr, the night before, feeling Tor match.
"Youpg mar" !" said the surgeon, looking
me l1fa ztTa'Eht IN the eye. lyon have got tbs
!" Yes, eir," said ], "ana good one. too.
"a little Blnipger, with drop Of stoughton,
mtkes an excellent ere opener OF moruing,s'
land there seems to be an ainanrQtic ten.
densy Of the right eye, accompanied with
"shaW ~ eaysL
kers cataract"
ST guess you meao in the car,s says I.
"'ca1se vent IN swimming this morning,
md got an a1lfred big bubble In ny left car,,;
aa9 here jumped up and down two or three
times on ny left fool, but to no purpose. As
commenced 4tslieg he Top Of my head. ' N1A
"Nas your family ever troubled with cpl
1epsy Y" sGYa he.
..0nly the two boys" says /; "zhen they
catch them my rife always goes at them with
ilne tooth cemb. The 1lzft thing"
the ribs that nearly knocked me over, and be-
fore had time to demonstrate, his arms were
1ound my neck and his head pressed against
my BORON, the came way that Sophia Ann
does, when she wants me to buy her some
new boInets and things.
t4Just that +honrh4 e,~rn In
loEis and hemoptsis, combined with defect
phthysis."
.HeaSers!" EaFs I, 'What's that:"
@A1d cardlac dikease.'
t'No Z" said I.
"And pendardites!n
''Tlunder!" said I.
Stop TALKING. Now count after me-one.n
s;Oue," eaid I, dead with fight.
"Asthna! Two"
"Two," yelled.
"Exotus of the right fsbnlar! Thrce.'
t'Th1ee,'a' I gnsped:
ssaIurdsr," said I. ''Four.''
"CendrMed duodenum Of the right yentrl-
r.. "oh! . doctor, i!9 amt you most throughs I
aTh1opch: No! Not half through.
Why, my friend, :Pandora's boz was nothing
to your chest. You have spbynixlana, and
gIoriosis, and coDchoi1ogia, and persilasc,
and
"Here my knees trembled, and 50 leaned
against the table for support"
"Apd permanent luxetlon Of the interior
lobe Of the right phalanx-"
"My only answer was deprecatoty ges-
turen
"Ard eczofulCu6 diathetis and omulopo.
ditce."
l sank to the floor In despair.
"El]u1lation u be yelled, for he saw was
going fast" and 1naxil1larium and-''
got exempted.