Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1863-02-05

of mental malady. / ha1 plan and purpose
of life--for time, at least-which had Ccme
to me as suddenly as an inspiration. | had
been denied that which l had coveted-to
soothe his pain, to watch by his bed of suffer.
ing but there were those who had suffered
in the same holy cause to whom | could mu-
ister-his comrades, who, in turn, were far
from all they loved.
My aunt called it madness when | told her
of my intention to leave my sheltered home
with her and devote myself to the wearing
selfsacrifcing life Of nurse among the hospi
tails "My health forbade )" my strength
had never been taxed !" "it was romance
undertake the risk to which my life would be
exposed" But | had expected opposition,
and met it quietly, but firmly. An only child,
self will had been long a governing principle,
aud they finally gave way, believing what
told them, that it was my OILY escape from
Madness tae prospect of action, miud and
heart both occupied fully.
| knew he would have approved my course.
What was my ease and comfort that it could
not be resigned when Arthurs had been so
readily sacrificed ? And suppose the worst
came-or what they thought to-there was a
selfish, cowardIY pleasure to me, in the thought
that | should then be united to him again SO
soon.
7 wanted IN mt on the monrninp dress
which suited my condition, but that they would
not allow me Arthnr,S relations onnosed it
{" while there was hone y Alas there had
never hcnn hora Son,n of them caviJod at
nv nDrnose and called it unwomanIv . but
then thew had at NV sudden marriaoe also
duII soulS who made reIirion Of rontjne and
social observance
It was The first onnroacb to bannine,s had
known when I mt on the nlajn crav dress
which ArtLrr had oIvors Iil.ed "a mncb car.
in, me his ..EttIo nn, and kreIt down in
the siIpnro If NV own room with = VOW of con.
secration 70 nv CON and nv snn'arjng f.Ilow
creatures for He accented Il knew blottiDr
ont the bnmon weakness If NV rebellion
knew il by the mower that ! had given me at
that moment 70 look nnon tie nast without
bitterprs, and the lono weary rnture without
= covardIv shri,Iing from i
NV dear annt waited for me below with
tcars that sba conIa nor rastrain she saw NV
blirbted life in nv thin worn face and she
had tried so hard to make me bappy after that
first great loss and be q mother to me, |
stood on the snot whore had been made Ar
thurs wife. How should | return home again?
How pass throuoh those doors that now closed
so reluctantly u1on me?
But then all pain was over save meeting
nv uncIe,s nitjfnl looks from time TO time as
we went on our little iourpev torether.
The spr5conS aid not care TO admit me at
Grst-mv yourh and jneyperience were against
me . but nv uncJa told them NV story with q
the least and lowest Office that they allowed
me to remain, NV narrow. comfortIess quar-
terS were ASSIGNED me and nv l0Dred-fo task
benaB,
The first day tried my resolution to the ut
most the long rows of sufferers, the wan aud
wasted faces the pitiful imnlorinr looks from
ewes that followed me as | passed. the sickeD
inc SIGHT Of manned and wounded limbs. the
gGastIy stump cushioned into sioht and cool
ness, the rawlings Of deiirium. the wan and ash
en- faces of the diving oh. nv Con. that such
scenes should be ,-repeated with unyaryipp
sameness through those long dull wards
tbronrh miles of wards like these all over our
land And then saw his sulferings in theirs.
All could not close nv ewes cold not com.
nose nv limbs TO sIeep could only start, and
turn, and pray for them and those thev loved
and for nv country, all those long wakeful
hours.
After that 7 entered into nv work with the
exceeding comfort | had expected, and an ca
ger interest in individual suffering that sur
prised me. When first came upon the empty
bed of one who had been nv peculiar care
and who had passed beyond the reach of all
ministry, | wept as if | had lost brother.
forgot weary limbs and aching head when
| moistered lips, blackened with fever cooling
the stiffened bandages or turned the heated
pillow. The close heavy air ceased to sicken
me, my nerves shrauk no longer at the cries
of pain or sight of gaping wound, if so | could
prepare cordial or bathe the sinking pulse
back to life apain