Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1863-02-18
asa PROvET8 BEaEsELE 8EAN
OF PARTS.

putable title to the rare and euphenous cogno-
men ofsmith. Smith in Csngrsss-smlsh IL Par
liament-Smith in the penitentiary--S The
parson-Smith ths reprobste-Smith the learn
ed-Smith the idiot-Gsueral Smith-Smith-
ere al bound to me by ties that cannot be sew
cred Aud when Atropos, with her muTderous
shears, shall spitefully clip the eobweb strand
which keeps in tune my harp of Thousand
strings. want very tall white stone raised
over my grave, bearing the simple inscription
"SsuTH"
Lss it now be known Why am Smith
The good ladies Of pretty little town in
Mississippi, called , have a weakly and
hebdomadal habit Of givirg entertainments for
the benefit of Gen Peggs's Lapstons Rangers.
They are called tablssux. Klubs says it is
ta5leor, with the cox" lefl out. AL the good
old ladies' Of the surrounding country engage in
it-all the pretty young ores take part Seven
halfgrown and halfraissd boys get round the
pisno whenever young miss goes to play 3
piece in the programme, and hightep the effect
Of the music and the attractions Of the per
former By cracking pes nuts and playing with
the ribbons in hsr hair.
Whilst the music is thus entertaining the
seven rowdy boys, to the disgust Of the audi
ence, a green curtain hides the preparations on
the stage for a -" lifspctur9 The music ceases,
and tobacco-colored citizen Of African descent
standing at the back of the stage-wheels up
the curtain. Seventeen candles shed their com
binod light upon " Bslshszz.rs FEAST Several
pretty misses, and number of young men jsst
old enough to hide from conscript officer, seem
to have been caught in the very act Of having
high old time generally, and were ashamed to
move Scene visible for minute and halt
during which time a tallow candle, sconeed
directly over B slshazzsr's head, has been she'd
ding its greasy superhuity upon his nose. (B.
knows it, and screws his face into eontordons
which would have been creditable to the ugly
man" Tobacc0-eolored nigger proceeds to let
down the curtain Curtain reaches Belshaz-
zars head aud sticks there. Balt makes 8 des-
perate grab at the obstinate curtain and jerks it
down
Riprorious applause, and up goes curtain
again, revealing scene as before. The mystic
characters on the wall-''sens, msns," etc.
seem to have besn copied from the hieEoglyph-
les which usually adorn the cover Of a pack of
Chinese fre-c1ackers. The resemblance is com
plets when the aforesaid niger touches lighted
candle to one end of the sentence, and bright
fzziug fame runs through every letter. Cur
tain falls
Asa and Klubs are seated together in font,
delighted spectators. Motherly old lady comes
down from the stage and comes up to our box
Conversation ensues:
LADY-E1cuse me. You are an officer
AsA-Yes m.
LADY-what rank
AsA-Msior
LADY-Couldn't you be a Captain for short
time, Just to oblige some young ladies
AsA-Yes m; ,cas Captain, once, for a short
time, just to oblige myself Can be it again, if
it viii oblige the ladies, or benefit the Lapstone
Rangers.
LADY-Ah thank you. Please come up on
the stage.
Followed her up, amids. tae wondering ad-
miratien Of the audience. Female Of angelic
lovelness met me behind the curtain. and
begged to know if would take the part of
Captain Smith and have my valuable life spared
through the heToism of Poeahontas-adding that
the Captain Smith selected for the occasion had
been that evening caught by an enrolling
officer, and reduced to the ranks in q eonsaipt
camp.
Agreed to be Captain Smith, if tho fair man
ayers Of the tableaux would allow US to rehesyse
the scsoe, and Let Klubs be the big Ipjuu fom
whose sapguinary tonahswk the happy Smith
is rescued Proposition accepted and Klubs
sent for. Was introduced to the sweet and self
sacrificing Pocshontas. Lovely girli seven
teen; hair curled and hanging in ringlets down
10 her shoulders complexion alabasteri eyes
gatery blue and face, generally, possessing ali
the expression usually found on a rutabaga
iurnip. At the first glance supposed her to be
a large sized wax doll, fr-sh from the window
Of toy-shop-ssuffed with ssw-dust from her
shoulders down, with piece Of wire coming
cut at the baek By which her eyes might be
opened and CLOSED at the win of the operator.
Was fascinated with the doh, and could with
difficulty cease wondering if it was provided
with the wire.
The rehearsal took place. Klubs made des-
perate attempt upon my life with pasteboard
broad-ax. Ny sweet little wax-doll Of Poca-
hontss rushed in with double-bTsasted vim,
threw one arm round Ass's devoted neck, aud
the other between the almost doomed
ASS and the wratby Klubs. Oh what a thrill
of ecstacy ran through this bosom Little
Italian violinists seemed to be playing their
sweetest extravaganzas on every nerve, and each
one OF the five senses with which a man IS sup
posed to be endowed, went of into separate
rsptures on its own hook.
Wanted TO rehearse again, but Pocahontas
naiveIy suggested that I was perfect in my part,
and didn't need another rehearsal Was OBJ
liged to forego the pleasure, but the idea o. that
wire stuck fast to my mind Tho seven half
grown boys were lulled into silence long erougb
for the .. lecturer Of the evening TO inform
the audience that real live officer had bean Sc
cured to psrsonate the captain, and tha. the
next scene would be . Pocahontss saving the
life Of Captain Smith
Got into position for the scene Blo0dthirsiy
Iniun, (Klubs), with lock Of 9enirsted
hatred had raised his teHibleA Soard)
tomahawk. Poeahontas, with Presn sd
right arm loyiagly eneircling Capt
(Ass'sl neck--hafraised her lett TO w.
terrible blow. Asa liked the position wunueI-