The Abingdon Virginian. [volume] (Abingdon [Va.]) 1849-1883, 1863-01-30
biography of stonewail Jackson.

The New York Sunday Mercury publishes
p humorous biography Of Stonewall jackson.
We make the following extracts:
Your correspondent has seen many BIO
graphical sketches of the renowned Stone
wall" but they all aboundened IN incohsis-
tencies. untru,h and inaccuracies. In the
hands of some historians. his lite Is IKE the
short India rul Der blanket Of long soldier,
- stretched to suit the subject. To others
this eyentful history has been lump OF clay
in the hands Of child-capable of any de-
gree of plastic distortion or beauty from
Hindoo idol to a winged s,at,kette OF Appnl.
lyon the Lovely. Some there be who declare
him - with. will-,-the- wisp, dancing JACK
Of the wilderness, the creation OF mind
ar any amount of nlinds--disnrdcred; but
thew err, Mr.. Editor. Stonewai jackson is i
fixed fact. melancholy fact, y stubborn tact;
and that his life may nor go down INTO dark
ness, that his deeds of daring may not DE
winad ous forever like "a sum III simple owl
sion ON a schoolboy's slate, historian IS
needed-sone that is faithful. capable and w
hiased: like those, for instance, VINO q" the
biographical sketches for the New York morn
ing dailies--une that is wholly competent and
that careth not a pin for Northern praise or
Stfuthern con,,,.endation; in, brief. one IKE
those who write the biograp hical histories tor
the papers aforesaid. Such an one Is Ammo
Domini, and he herewith presents history
which he is willing to take his affidavit is as
reliable and worthy Ms thoagl' 1t was written
for one of those immaculate sheets the New
York dailies. :.
Stonewall jackson was born very early IN
lifc-in fact, SO young was he at'that interest
ing period Of his history, that the date there
of lurketh not in his own memory. nor yet IN
that of his present hi ,grapher. Suffcient ne
il to saw, he was Boks. The ancestry OF s j..
has hitherto been shrouded in doubt. Some
have asserted that he is descended from Jack
surnamed the Giant, Killer, aud that the
..scven league boots of the aforesaid y. the
G. K, are vet in his possession, which ac-
counts for the CELEBRITY of his movements
Others declare him to be an of-shoot OF the
Jacobin family, the founder Of which was
Jackaloe the Chinese Pirate. They are all
wrong, Mr.. Editor. Stonewa.i jackson Is
descended in curved line from the Wander
ing Jew. In early time the Jew family was
rich hit one evil day the head Of it went
down into Egypt, .'bucked' against pharnah,
and came back with nary shekel, having lost
all in that interesting game. From that time
till the discovery of the Mississippi river, the
family was too poor to have name. St,newaii's
grandfather ran a fatboas on the aforesaid
FLYER. and was extravagantly fond OF the elias.
sic game Of "od sledse.' lie married. and
in the course Of time had four sons, whom he
named-to commemorate his favorite game
High. Low, Jack, and the Game. Jack tol.
lowed the example of his father, married, and
had one son, the subject of this sketch, whe
was naturally called Jacks son, and IN course
of time. Jackson A family trait turks IN
Stonewall, for at any critical stage OF the
game he is sure to .'turn" up and become the
trump.
Young jackson in his youth gave great
nromse of his future usefulness. SO much so
that when he was sent to school he invariably
ran away to play stag and "leap frog" t.
the constant seady,of which he owes hi
aaility. One day Jackson's pe's, learning o.
his sons truancy, determined to chastlsc i
out of him, and SO collared tho incsplent hero
and bent him over his knee. thus, throwing
nrominent part of the you'll, into bold relief
Mrs. Jackson 1.-THE mother) then seized shir
hoard with both hands, and proceeded to bring
Ahe yonngster to sense Of his duty by diver,
nonderous blows. Young jackson squirmed
like Gshworn, but with that Spartan firm
ness that has ever distinguished him, shed no
tear. At about the forticth blow the olc
LADY paused while the did gent eased on hi
hold, and inquired, My son. whist thou go t.
school in future The young hero raised MI
head, wiped his sleeve across his nose an n.
looking up into his fathers face, said: -.
saw. old gentleman, why am like a cabu
passenger on canal boat?' 'My son,
knows not" sagely observed jackson. senior
..Why." said the young incorrigible, with
knowing wink, '.its because | am 6oardet
nstern.". The poor outraged father coYad o on
e;aculate, aboard him again. old lady, boart
him again" Not l." said the mother, drop