The Lansing state Republican. [volume] (Lansing, Mich.) 1855-1874, 1863-12-09

error.
ny acquaintance With your husband, has in
dnced me 10 believe, that his whole heart and
soul accompany MS affections aud avefsiOns; and
that II depends much or mostly on the exercise
Of your prudence and discretion. whether he viii
be 70 you kind aud tender husband, or al IN
pleasant AID uninteresting associate. Perhaps
YOU are now about TO ask, il the wife mus; make
all, and the husband no sacrifice to promote con
nubial concord ard domestic peace: l mean no
such thing-on the CONTRARY 20 much depends
on your mutual eudeavors, that without the hus-
bands. The wife cannot succeed. But the point
/ have pointed out for yOl to take, s the surest,
nav the only one To be pursued 10 produce or
continue in him the disposition 10 a correspond
ing course OF measures. Can that be called
sacrifice that promotes domestic bliss As
well may he be said 10 sacrifice his money who
gives It for a larger sum.
" You will be disappointed if YOU expect your
husbands face always 10 be the sporting place
Of smiles and graces, Lie mind al times at
tuned TO the soft melody Of harmonious strains,
As vel expect eternal sunshine clorilss skies,
A. men forever tsmperat- calm ami wise
"Sickness, disappointment, and perplexity in
bis business, and Thousand name'ess causes,
cannot but sometimes operate TO disturb his
mind, dePfess his spirits and 0ecloud his visage.
producing, perhaps usual tacituFnitv, or a strain
Of language not remarkable for its melhuent
csdences. This Is not the occasion on which he
IL 20 be met With a corresponding department on
the part Of his wife. Itis rather the time when
the exercise Of all her philosophy is ndispensa
bic, time when her temper Is 10 be tried, her
heart probed, and her affections put TO the test;
the time when her kind, soft, ard sympathizing
language, ard connteuance and conduct bear
f.,.. ..-.,. Il
conforted at least with the reflection that he has
friend in adversely as well As pros peritv, part
ner in his sorrows as in his JOYS | mav possibly
be singular in the opinion, but could never en-
tertain the fullest confidence even in the virtue
Of that female whose sympathes could not be
excited by the sorrows of others; ard surely a
wife cannot appear so Interesting and amiable in
the eyes of her husband ss when he sees her
melting with kindness 10 him, and sorrowing for
his sorrows. In short il should be the object OF
your unremitted attention 20 make him feel that
his home il place OF refuge from his cares a
sanctity for the irOwns of reverse fortune, and
lie will seek il As naturally az he would his own
felicity But when husband ceases 70 regard
his HON, as the happiest place on earth. he will
shun it az he would IL his troubles; and as II
often happens, will take the road to ruin, and
seek at the ale house, the gambling table, OF
more indecent places, refuge from domestic
brothels the consequences of which, though Of
ten seen, are too disgusting for detail.
1t could not be deemed a compliment to
your husbands taste, to suppose he viii be en-
tirely Indifferent TO your dress or pleased to see
you careless in this respect, either at home or
abroad Those wives have not reflected much
who think slipshod slattern hazards nothing of
her husbands good opinion or that tie lack o,
neatness in domestic dress IS not a certain indica-
tion OF her Incidence and the dis0rdered aspect
of her habItatiOn. Ii your husband loves YOU
he could not but feel somewhat Of disappoint-
ment, should the personal Appearance Of his wife
be much inferior to that Of the girl he courted,
or to the generality OF those females with whom
you may happen to associate. He cannot but
make comparisons, and it should be your care
that they should not result in your disadvan-
tage.
Extravagance in dress should also be avoid
ed i'll calculated TO increase the respectabilitv
of married lady, and it sometimes occasions
surmises nowise credtabe to the female charac-
ter. Indeed, you ought, by consulting your hus-
bands wishes in this respect TO leave him not
doubt, that your dress is fashioned to meet bis
appreciation, more than 70 attract the gaze or
gain the admiration OF any or every other per
son. 1t may be thought, perhaps, by some, that
a
of very trihing consequence; but rcly upon It.
the effect OF disregarding his opinions on this
subject, is not always wholly unimportant
You have doubtless seen and heard enough
to know, that nothing short OF crime can more
impair the respectabity Of a married lady, than
often being seen at public places unattended by
her husband. Should yours have no desire to
be thronged with company at home nor dispo-
stion to seek it abroad; or should vO0 Unior
tunately aspire to live in a style inconsistent with
his feelings or resources, | have already said
enough to show you that no action of yours sa
voring of opposition, no look soured with disap
pointment, nor expression tinctured with re-
proscb, will dispose him the more to gratify your
wishes. That such means cannot succeed with
a man OF sense and spirit, is obvious as the
indication through which they are adopted.
Abrupt contradictions OF any one, though
sometimes the effect of an unguarded moment, is
generally regarded as sure indication of low
and vulgar breeding; but such conduct in wife
towards husband seldom fails 70 reudsr him
ridiculous and her contemplate in the estima-
ton of all who may happen to witness such an
instance of her folly and imprudence. Much Of
the responsibility Of the wife is reflected upon
the husband; and when she, by her indiscretiOn,
lessons bis, she is sure TO sink her own in public
estimation.
ITO conclude-I have voluntarily and per-
baps offciously offered you my counsel and the
best my judgment can afford. Ny motive is
your good; but it depends on yourself whether
or not it will be useful TO you. But keep this
letter by you, and if at the end of three or four
years you shall think yourself not benefited by
its contents, you have my consent to burn it.
"Tbat the blessing OF health, peace, and pros
perity may attend you through life, is the sin
cere wish and earnest hope Of your friend