The Placer herald., 1863-05-30
A Frightened Contraband.

"A IetIeT received iIOlU du Amy tOIiVo
pondent on the Rappahannock, relates the
following camp incident:
An amusing incident occurred in camp
night or two since. A portly young contra
band from Charleston, S. c., who escaped
rom his rebel master at Antietam, and was
for while quarered subsequently in Wash
ington was engaged by one of our unior
staff officers, as his body servant, and brought
down here to his quarters to attend him. 1t
CHANGED that the officer had served his coun
try gaIlantIv at SharpSburg, where he lost
| leo, below the knee; the absence OF whlch
| had been made up by an artificial limb,
which the captain wore with 50 easy
grace that few persons who met him suspect
ed his misfortune his sable attendant being
among he blissfully ignorant as to the eXis
tence Of the fact.
The captain bad been "out to dinner" and
returned in excited spirits to his tent. Upon
retiring, he called his dark servant to as
sist him in pnIlng off his riding boots.
Nov. Jimmy, look sharp" said the cap
tain. "l'm a Iitte-ic- 1msey, t'night,"
Look sharp an'-ic-pulI steady
"I>e alters keertul, cap'n," said Jimmy,
drawing off one long wet boot with consider
able difficulty, and standing it aside.
Now. mind your eye. Jim. The other
-ic-a little tight" and black Jimmy
chucked and showed his shining ivory, as
he reflected, perhaps, that his master
quite as tight" AS he deemed his boots to
Easy, now--that's it. Pull away" con-
tinued the captain. good-naturedv and en-
| ioyin9 the prospective joke. while he oosen
ed the straps about his waist which held his
cork leg up--"no0 you've GOT it. Yip-
there you are! On. lord! oh, lord. oh iord"
screamed the captain, rs conrahand, cork
lee, riding boot and lig4tnres tumbed across
the tent. IN heap, and the one legged officer
| fell back on hi, pallet couvuI,ed with spas
modic laughter. At this moment the door
opened and a Ilentenant entered.
"G'way fun me, o'way fun me emme
be. Lenmy be. | amt done nufn, y yelled
the con'raband Justify, and rushing To the
door, really surprising he had palla his
masters leg clem of? Lrmmy g.. DIDN'T
do nutlin 9 wa>.' And J,mmy put for the
woods in his desperation, and since which
hasn been seen or heard flom, though ;he
captain has dil gently sought for him far
and near, jimmy WAS Il good servant, bat
We nevei before were treated to "A thorough.
ly frightened conlr,band. There is little
doubt the darkey is running yet.
CHINESE FAST MEN The other night
spruce LOOKING Chinamau walked up to the
ticket office Of circus d laid It wn a dol
| lar. The tlcket-seler handed him pit tick
ct and fifty cents. John Indignantly showed
back the change and IT,, ket. and proceeded
to relieve bis overbnrdenrGl feelings as follows:
"What f,r YOU gib me four bty ticke', eli?
Me no four btty man. Four bitty man all
same dam digger. Me pay one dollar all
same Meliran geutleman.'
The HAPPY LAND People have great
variety of IDEAS as to what constitutes a
"happy land" Some think it is a land
where people spend all their time in singing
psalms. Some think il is country flowing
with milk and honey. Others have it that
"happy lanl' is fail of gold aud precious
stones SUI other, think that it is a land
where the bic rivers ran wine. and the
mountain streams genuine "Oid Otard."
hlIe Others think 1t il region where b4uul,
tul women are as abundant as the leaves in
summer woods, and whose ptrtumed breath
is the only bread aud meat, and whose
smiles and kisses constitute the only water
and wine needed to sustain mans eyistenc.
a fellow ont west, however gives his idea
of a "happy Iand'-and IA very delicious
idea to hungry man it is ill the following
lines:
o. is there not some happy land
A land beyond the seas,
Where pot-pie smokes in boundess lakes,
And dumplins grow on trees?
Can gingerbread be found in stacks,
Aud smear kIse by the ton
And hen you do job of work
You get the ready John?
Where natures lesson may be read
In every baboling brook?
Where humble bees don't sting a chap,
And muly cows don't hook?
RoBBERY Another robbery was perpe-
tratel on Thursday of last week on the
Upper Marposa Road. Several persons
entered the house of Frenchm an and stole
his six shooter, boots, clothing and about
$40 in gold and silver coin
Horse IuIEF.-A man namel Thomas
UHard, was arrested at Sacramento, a few
days ago for having stolen horse, the
property of Mr.. llenerv Clay who resides
some six miles from san Jose
The WEFp-1he Santa Cruz Sentinel
says that about 200 acres # land in that
county will be planted with tobacco this
season.