, 1863-10-17
A Few Hints on Going to Church.

1t is well to go to church late. By walk
ing boldly up the aisle during the first
prayer, you attract more attention, and
consequently more admiration than by GO
ing at any other time. There are some
people who will be annoyed at this, but
they are of that class of cold fogies" for
whose opinion you will not have the slight
est regard, if you are a young man of
spirit.
You will, of course, wear your brightest
colored clothes, and quantity of flash
jewelry.
If there is a large choir, by all means
sing loud, and try TO drown the sounds of
the organ. This emulation pleases the
singers, and centers the attention of the
congregation upon you.
Whisper loudly to your companion your
comments upon the dress and appearance of
the ladies, and by all means chew tobacco
during the whole service.
1t will look well if you should laugh
heartily at whatever pleases you-for in
stance, if a deformed person comes in. A
small dog, walking up the aisle will cause
you to 60 into convulsions of laughter, and
much sport will be occasioned if you should
succeed in kicking him Allow no chance
to escape you that will afford you amuse-
ment. Make signs to any acquaintance
you may see on the other side of the church,
and even whisper loudly to him. When the
service is concluded and during the bene-
dction, commence to get your hat and
gloves ready for start, and at the word
Amen, be of-don't loose secondhand
take good position at the foot of the stair
way.
1t will be difficult to get into position
very soon, for all the ladies will stop in the
aisle to converse upon family matters, etc.
which will, of course, make il very difficult
for everybody to get out But persevere,
and when you are in position let nothing
divert your attention from the scenes be-
fore you.
We forget to notice the fact that the aisle
Of the church will be completely blockaded
if it should be cold weather by the ladies
standing by the register If this should be
the case, step oveT the pews on each side
Those general rules, if constantly fol-
lowed, will suggest a great many Others of
the same kind, which neither time nor place
will admit of noticing more : Exchange
HEBREW NAMES WITH ENGLISH Ac-
CENTs.-Some young ladies who had been
atten6inno an evening party, desired to re-
turn home bGatt had no male attendant
The master of the house requested his son
to accompany them, and mace use OF
scripture name. What was it?
Jereboam-Jerry, beau 'em
Jerry proving reluctant, the gentleman
desired another son to act as escort. What
scripture name did he ulter2
Lemuel-Lem you will.
Still there was difficulty, and a like re-
quest was made in a similar manner to
another son. What was it2
Samuel-Sam you will.
Sam having consented, the party took
their seats in the sleigh for the purpose of
going home. 1t was found there was plen-
ty of room for one more What scripture
name did the old gentleman use to induce
another son to accompany the guests.
Benjamin-Ben jam in.
The driver was requested to start in an
other scripture name What was it?
Joshua-Josh away.
When the sleigh was fairly of, it was
discovered that one Of the young ladies had
been left behind. There was no possibility
of recalling her companions, as the old gen.
tleman asked still another of his sons to
console the young lady for her disappoint-
ment. What was the last scripture name
thus used
Ebenezer-Eben ease her.