Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1863-05-20
Mr.. Browns Mishaps.

- ~ Wv II II lOLAA VIC AA4N4CALNlNS
ofother Browns who are born, grow up ant
die in this world of ours.
It chanced that Mr.. Brown had occasion tc
visit town some fifty miles distant, on mat.
tiers Of businessl 1t was his first visit to the
place, and he proposed stopping for day, in
order to give himself an opportunity to look
about
Walking leisurely along the street, he was
all at once accosted by child of five, who
ran up to him exelaiming:
" Father, I want you to buy me some more
candy"
Fatheri Was it possible that he, baehe-
lor, was addressed by that title He could
not believe it.
"WhO were you speaking to my dearT' he
inquired Of the little girl 7 saa e
II spoke to you, father, saidthe little one,
surprised. 5 fss-
Really, thought Mr.. Brown, this is embar-
rasslng
q I am not your father, my dear" he said /:
" what is your name ?"
The child laughed heartily, evidently think
ing it good joke
What a funny father you are, she said,
" but you are going to buy me some candy p
Yes, yes, I'll buy a pound if you won't
call me father any MORE said Brown ner-
vously.
The girl clapped her hands with delight,
The promise was all she remembered.
Mr.. Brown proceeded to confectionery
store, and actually bought a pound Of candy,
which he placed in the hands of the little girl.
In coming out Of the store they encounter
ed the child's mother
"Oh, mother" said the little girl, Just see.
how much candy father has bought me"
You shouldn't have bought her so much
at time, Mr. Jones" said the lady, II am
afraid she viii make herself sick. But how
did you happen to get home so quick2 I did
not expect you till night"
Al, Jones! madam ?" said the embarrass-
ed Mr.. Brown; "it's all a mistake I amt
Jones at ALT isn't my name. I am Elipha-
let Brown, Of W, and this IS the first time
I ever came to this city,"
Good heavens, Mr.. Jones what has put
this silly tale into your head You have con-
cluded to change your name, have your Per
hapsiti is your intention to change your wife p
Mrs Jones tone was now defiant, and this
tended to increase Mr.. Browns embarrass-
ment.
Haven't any wife, madam; I never had
any. On my word as a gentleman, 1 never
was married"
"And do you intend to palm this tale off on
me 2" said Mrs. Jones, withexcitement 'IfI
you are not married, I'd like to know who 1
I'M ~
@I have no doubt you are a most respecta-
be lady, said Mr. Brown, and I conjecture,
rom what you have said, that your name is
tones; but niue is Brown, madame, and al
ways was" b.
Melinda, said her mother, suddenly ta-
ling her child by the arm, and leading her
Up to Mr.. Brown. q Melinda, who Is that
Gentleman p
Why, that's father, was the childs imme-
late reply; as she confidently placed her
land in his.
"You hear that, Mr. Jones' do you? You
lear what the innocent child says, and yet
-ou have the unblushing impudence to deny
hat you are my husband The voice Of ma
ure, speaking through the child, should over
vhelm you. I'd like to know if you are not
Ter father why you are buying candy Tor her
would like to have you answer thatl But
presume you never saw her before in your
feln
II never did. On my honor I never did.
told her would give her the candy if she
rould not call me father any more"
"You Iid, did your Bribed your child
OF to call you father? Oh, Mr.. Jones, this is
ifamousl Do you intend to desert me, sir,
nd leave me to the cold charities of the world2
md this is your first step Pr
Mrs. Jones was so overcome that, without
ny warning, she fell back upon the sidewalk
a fainting fit. .aa II
Instantly a number of persons ran to her
ssistance. ..E.a ...
Is your wife subject to fainting in this
-ay ?" asked the first conner Of Brown.
/" I don't know" said Brown, " she isn't my t
,ife. don't know anything about her"
Why, it's Mrs. Jones, amt t?'
eyes, but I'm not Jones" q
"Sir," said the first speaker sternly, this
no time to Jest. I trust that you are not
le cause OF this excitement which must have
,casioned your wife's fainting fit. You had
etter call for coach and carry her home di-
ely"
Poor Brown was dumbfounded. t
AT WONDER" thought he, whether it's /
ossible that I'm Jones without knowing it /
erhaps Tn Jones, and have gone crazy, in V
of which fancy that my name t
Brown. And yet don't think am Jones' v
l spite OF all IL insist that my name IS f
rown." il
"Well, sirsDwhat are you waiting for2 1t t
necessary that your wife should be IemOv- 8
at once. VIII you order a carriage?" 3
Brown saw there was no use to prOtract n
ie discussion by denial. He therefore, '
ithout contesting the point ordered hack k
" coach to the spot. II