Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1863-02-19

ID
or and Cheovor---names known and hon
ored in the darkest purlicus of hell be-
came my willing and effective tools. WE
DIVIDED THE CHuRoH. You remember.
Sire, my exulting dispatch announcing
this event. These were my words. "Ail
hail BELzEDuDl Hail Prince Of the pow
'er of Darkness! The Kingdom of
Christ, and the Republic OF Washing
ton are hoth tottering to their fall. The
Church is divided, and the triumph of
hell is only question of time
had not forgotten other potent instru.
mentalities. The seat Of Literature in
America, is among the descendants of
those old Puritans, who were elected sue
cessvely from England and from Hol-
land; who were SO hateful that civilized
men would hold no fellowship with them;
and who, even in hell, by the universal
supplication of other damned spirits,
have been assigned corner to themselves,
and mercifully permitted to wall through
their noses. | made avail of American
Literature. "Unce Tom is my own off
spring. | begot this monster on the
person of hag, whose embraces loath-
ed. But you, Sire, well know that
shrink from no sacrifice calculated to ad-
vance the special interests OF the august
and imperial m master whom | serve. | pro-
cured the exhibition of Uncle Tom on the
stage. / showed his acerated back, and
taught him mock prayers for repetition in
country towns and in rural hamlets. in
spired songs which were sung wherever
Uncle Tom was played, and which soon
became household music. They recoun-
ted the woes Of Poor Nellie Gray" the
sorrows of "Uncle Ned" and tho mon
strous brutality of the slave driving La
gree.
also got admission easily to the
schools 1heachers, as a class, male and
female, are extremely weak minded
The exceptions to this rule were those
whom | could not influence; but they
were so few as not to be worth naming.
gradually introduced Abolition into
the newspapers. By far the most potent
and Influential of these was the New
York Tribune. And here, permit me,
Sire, to remind you of the great debt of
obligation which hell and all the Internal
regions, owe to Horace Greeley. Not
alone as an Abolitionst has he served us.
His Fourieism, his Free Love, his infide,-
ity, have peopled hell with thouands of
souls. Eor twenty long years, this man
has done our work, aud done it so thor
oughly and faithfully that, when [ have
begged our Majesty for temporary leaves
of absence, did it with the conviction
that your interests would suffer little in
my absence.
We hal now succeeded in making Abo-
lition the prep pondering influence in tho
North. All the scoundrels in the land
promptly joined it, for the sake of the
spoils of office which it afforded Rene
gadc Wings denied the faith, and dishon-
ored the memory of the glorious apostles
Of their party; and apostate Democrats,
bartered their birthright for mess of
Black Republicans pottage.
And now the phrase, "irrepressible
conflict" wss invented; involving an idea
SO ruinous that have always assigned it
to your immediate insp iration. Follow
ing this, came the "Helper Book" copy
Of which, SO soon as the endorsements
were affixed, forwarded, you by special
express. All hell, you will remember,
Sire, attributed its authorship to me, so
Internal were the doctrines which it enun-
ciated.
Lincoln was elected. And there came
pause of fearful interest. John j, Crit
tenden, the mischieveous old Senator,
proposed n compromise which would have
saved the Government, averted war, de-
teated all our endeavors, and foiled the
Vaccinations even of you, Sire, the illus
trious Prince of Devils. But Chandler,
aid Wade, and Beecher and Cheever. and
Chase and Greeley came to our help. The
Compromise was defeated Well might
perdtion be jubilant Most appropriate
was it that hell should be Illuminated,
and its dusky armament made lurid with
blazing and portentous meteors.
And now, Sire, feel that my task is
accomplished, and that l may return to
claim the welcome of faithful servant.
One word OF warning, and | will have
done. Ere long there will be danger
ous immigration to your special domn-
ion. In the course of nature, Cameron
and Greeley, and Sumner and Stevens,
must join the shade of John Brown. Sc
cure the negroes well; and make the strong
box safe. Otherwise, those men will in
cite the negroes to revolt, while they them
serves rob the treasury Of hell.
| remain, sir,
Your most humble serv't,
BELIAL