Mineral Point weekly tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1859-1868, 1863-10-07

chest shouting something in my ear of which
however | could hear nothing.
[ smiled feebly IN Acknowledgement of his
attentions At a sign from him, two atten-
Glants drew near, and having; lifted him into
a chair, for he absolutely black in the
face with the violence of his exertions, they
hoisted me to a perpendicular and the exam
ination proceeded.
But | viii not harras your feelings by re
peating the heart-rendng details. Suffice it
TO say that | was afflicted with gastritis, en-
PRESERVATION, marcidity, empyema, obesity,
condyie OF the numerous, bilicose veins, her
MA IN both great toes. and hermorhoids in
the left heel, besides lots of other diseases
whose names j cannot remember. Finally
after rigid examination of my toe nails in
search OF eruptive LESSONS, he arose to his feet
drew long breath, wiped the perspiration
from his face, with stray newspaper, and
commenced:
= \ Dung man" said he, and his eyes glis-
tened with delight rs he spoke, you are re-
ally the most interesting subject | have ever
met with. Really most wonderful case
don't know when | have enjoyed a half hour
so thoroughly. Why, sir, with the exception
OF two, or at most three, you have symptoms
Of every disease in the medical dictionary
Please let me embrace you again, just to see
4 | can detect eXicosis of the yiscOus mem
brane. Well no." he continued, with a
slightly disappointed air, as he released me,
Il don't seem to find it, exactly, but would
you mind coming round to my boarding
house, after tea, so that l can spend the even
ing osculating after it -
He was 20 anxious to find that particular
symptom, that / was very sorry to refuse him;
but | had promised Sophia Ann that would
be home to tea, and knew she would worry if
| staid; 50 | was obliged to decline. Seeing
there was lady in the case, he very politely
excused me, very much to my relief . Well
goodbye, my friend" said he, as took my
hat TO go; " | wish it was 50 YOU could 90 to
the war; | would have you in my hospital in
less than month, and then could examine
you at my leisure. | am positive a little ex-
posture would bring on those two symptoms
spoke of, and then what a magnificent subject
you would be How | should like to dissect
you But then, perhaps you don't like it,
and if YOU don't, / don't know as | can blame
you much for wishing to preserve your won
dertul organization as long as possible; go
YOU Just 90 into the next room, and Capt
Herrick VIII give you a furlough to go home
and provide a substitute or pay your commu-
tation fee. Boy, call the next on the list"
But, sir, said | aghast at his concluding
remarks, you don't pretend to accept me as
able-bodied "
Really, my friend" said he, g the fact is.
=. i dclutliN
don't know which to specify 1t won't do to
say crarial disease, when its Your heart that
IS affected; and if | mention your heart,
what's the use of your having consumption !:
But | know DR.. Coggswell viii be pleased to
receive your communication fee, or, if you will
bring up a likely substitute, | shall be ue-
lighted to examine him; and some dav, when
We are both at liberty 1 shall be most happy
To have you call upon me. Hold Just IN
button your coat for one moment, I must
find that exico-"
But here | broke from his grasp, and, stop
ping in the next room only long enough to
procure my furlough, | started for the railway
station, and never looked behind until | was
safe IL the arms of Sophia Ann and the
children.
And now. can anybody inform me where
can find a good abIe-bodied substitute, war
ranted diseased in TIE head, heart. lungs.
legs, or all Of them To such a man ! will
give three hundred dollars down, or, if he
prefer, at the rate of five dollars apiece for
each symptom, and promise him, in behalf of
our Uncle Samuel, food and clothing for three
years, together with medical attendance in
proportion 20 the number and maliguity of
his Diseases K1syJW r0zlffg