The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1863-09-23
- = - ARTEMUS WARD tt
TOTHEPRENCEofWALES
Friend Wales:-You remember me.

G. T
Friend Hales;-Yo ou remember me-, l
saw you in Cansdy few years ago. l
remember you, too. l seldim forgit q
person. A't% ?
L hearn of your marrige to the Printcis
Alexandry, a. nlent to writ you con
gratoolatory letter at the time, but I've
bin bildin a barn this summer, 4 hahn t
had no time to write letters to folks. Ex-
COOS me. 5E-3iE laAi saa ss.5 -
Numeris changes has teoken place siacs
we met in! the, body polite. The body
polite, in fack, is sick | sumtimes think
it has got bilss, friend Wales. 80" sl' =
In my country we've got awaT, while
your country, in conjunktion with Cap'n
Sens of the Alabarmy, manetanss a, moot
raj position. De sg7-azr stvs-, se a..
lIm frald cant write goaks when I sit
about it. Oh, no, l guess notI 'f0al
Yes, sir, we've got a war and the troo
patrit has to make sacri6sses, you bet.
l have alreddy given two cousins to the
war, & l stand reddy to sacri6ss my wife s
brother ruther'n not see the .rebelyin
krusht. And If wuss Gums, to wuss, 1 II
shed ev'ry drop of blud my al Bile bodid re-
lations has got TO prosekeot the war. 1
think sumbody oughter be prosekooted,
and it may as we'll be the war as anybody
else. When L get goakin fit onto me
it's no use to try ter stop NE. H..l s-4
I. = x x * ~
But all this is furrin to the purpuss of
this note, srter all My objsc in now ad-
dressing you is to Civ you some advice,
friend Wales, about managin' your wife,
a bizness I've had over thirty years expe-
rience in. 4...
As l sed, I manige my wife without any
particular trouble When L fust COM
nenst trainin' her / institooted series oi
experiments, and them as didn't work l
abandiag You'd better do similer.
Your wife may objeck to gittin' up and
buildin' the fire. in the morning, but if you
commence with her at once you may be
able to overkums this prejoodis. / regret
to-obsarve that didn't commence arly
enuff. .n I.wouldn't have you s'pose | Was
ever. kicked out of bed. Not at all. I
simply say, in regard to bildin' fires, that
| didn't commence arly enuff. 1t was q
ruther cold mornin when fust proposed
the idee to Betsy. 1t WASH well received
and found myself layin' on the floor
putty suddent Thought I'D git up and
bid the fire myself 4ai,aa4. s,as,
It's best to Civ woman considible Ice
way But not too much. A naber o.
m5ss. Mr. .Roofus Minkins, was once very
sick with the fever, but his wife moyee
his bed into the door-yard while she was
eleanin house. / told Roofus this WASH
THE thing, specially as it was rainin vi,
lently; but he said he wanted to Civ his
wife "a little leeway." That was 2 mutch
I t5ld Mrs Minkins that her Roofu:
would die if he staid out there in the rair
much longer; when she said, sit shan t bt
my fault if he dies unprepared, at thu
same time tossin' him his mothers Bible
/ 1t was orful! I stood by, however, ant
nussed him as wells [ could, but was
putty wet.nuss, tell you. Als.e ~,-s
4 There's. varis ways of managin' wife
f.iend Wales. but the best aud only saf
way ist to lether dojustabout as shewant
1 to, dopted that there plan. sum tim'
ago, and itworks likeia charm: ss5i 81.
Remember me kindly to Mrs, Wales
I and good luck to you both! And as year
roll BY, aud accidents begin to happen t
you-smong which [ hope thereils b
Itwins-you will agree whith me'that fami
1ly joys air the oaly ones a man can be
Oh with any certinty of winnip. 80.
/ 1t may interest you to know that II
prosperir in peeoonry pint of view.
make bout as much in the course of
year as a Cabinet offisser does, & under
: stan my bizniss good deal better tha
, sum of EN- do, rs. aoi,--..-,..-,.,
4 Respecks to St. Gorge & the Dragon
s'Ever be happy. ."'''sa 3
-5i bsS H 8a asaa7 81 .A.8WARD. sis4