Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1863-09-09
MAJOR JACK DOWNING.

renders tie following as the result of re-
cent conversation of his with Linkin:'
APPLYING THE PRINCIPLES OF NEGRO E.
ouALITY-L1NcoLN HAS THE FLOOR.
The truth is, Major Downing, we Re-
pubiicans have been talkin about the CRATE
principle of equality of all men, includin
Injins, niggers, Chimes and so on, and now
they want me to apply the principle, and
I'm goin to do it. Think there is some
humbug in it somewhere, but don't exact
ly see where, and as they will give me no
peace, and will never be satisfied ennyhow
until it is dun, Pm goin' to put it thru
sWal,' ses I, 'Kernel, go ahed, but look
out for squalls .....
70 perhaps, ses I, tyou. never. heerd the
story about zenas Humspun applying the
principle" 1 hope you won't hev as bad
luck as he did, NO. ses Linkin, Il meyer
heerd that story. What was it? WALL
ses l, 'Zenas was good natured feller, who
lived in Downingsille, and wonderful iu-
9uirin sort of chap, alters and forever pry-
ing into things. If be boughta clock he'd
take it all apart with his jack nife jest to
see ho@ it went together. So about the
time that telegraph was started and an
offs was set up in our town, Zeuas was Gen.
amost puzzled to deth to get the hang of
the critter, as he called it. One day he
went to the offs and axed the feller to show
him all about it. The chap was very per-
lite, and explained to him the great. t.princi.
pie on which it worked, but Zenas didn't
exactly see through it, and kept akin ques.
tious and botherin the feler till he got clean
out of pashins. Finally ses he to Zenas,
Perhaps you would like to see me apply
the principle Zenas said he would of
course. Wal says he, then you jest take
hold of them brass knobs and stick to 'em
tight So Zenas grabbed hold of 'em like
all possessed, but he hadn't more than fair
iy got hold before he lay sprawling on the
floor. The principle had knocked him
clean over Now, ZeDas was g terribul fel.
Ter to smoke, and alters carried his pockets
full of lucifer matches to lite bis pipe with.
1t so happened that he had hull box full
in his coat tail pocket as he keeled ever on
the floor, and as he fell they scratched agiu
one another so strong that they all got aire
1t warnt but little while before Zenas' coat
tail was all in blaze, and before it could
be put out it had burnt an awful big hole
in the seat of his trowsers, and scorched
him thereabouts amazingly. zenas yelled
and bolIered awful, and sed he didn't want
to know ennythipg more about applyin the
principle. Now ses l, Kernel, I hope
you won't have US bad luck as Zenas did,
but depend ont this applyin principles you
don't exactly understand, is dangerous bu.
slness. If you don't get burnt somewhere
it will be wonder
WHO MADE THE NIGER?
'Wal,' ses Liukiu, 'Majer, you are cute
chaplin telln story, but now tell me, do
you think the niger and the white man
didn't cum from the same parrieut% Now
ses I, Kernel, that's akin deep question.
You sec its oupossible to tell what the Gre.
atur may have DONE. He might have only
one kind of man at fust, and then a!tared
their constitusbins, and compilations, and
brains afterwards. You see everything is
possible tothe Creatur Or the negro may.
have cum FROM Ham, who was cussed for
his sins, but then 1 don't see that it is en-.
nythiDg agin the scriptoors to believe that
all the kinds of men we're made at the be.
ginnin just as they are now. But it don't
make eny difference how they cum so long
as they are different. You can't enymore
make white man out Of niger now than
you eau breed lion out of pole cat.
You sec, it's clear .agin natur to expect
to make the niger enything but niger.
You can't get peaci out of crab.apple,
Tor pumpkin out Of a watermelon, nor
eagles out of ducks eggs. You can't raise
chickens from egs plants, or produce gos.
lius from gooseberries. You see, Kernel,
everything in natur must 90 accordin to ma.
tur. If the niger had been intended 70
be equil to the white man, and the very
fact that he amt made SO is proof positive
that he warn't intended to be put in white
mans place. Tryin to make niger act
like j white man is just like old Sol Hop
Rims, one year narnessing his off ox an his
huss together t. plow corn. The OK was as
lazy as he could be, and the boss was a
yuung, high.struug animil, and such pul.
lin and baulin team you never did see. 1t
almost killed both. You see, it was workin
agiu natur 1t was tryin to make an OK a
boss, and hoss an OK, neither of which
toug can be did. You see, Kernel, 'eve-
1ythiny in notur must go accordin to natur.
'Wal, ses Liukin, 'there is good deal
in what you say, but then the people don't
believe it. They think the nigger is ouIy
accidentally black, and if he lacks in mind
and capacity, it is all OWN to slavery, an
they won't believe eny other way until they
see for themselves. [ tell you, M'.jer, the
principle has got to be applied, no matter
ho0 maey coat tails or how many trousers
are burnt.
WAL ses 1, 'Kernel, guess there is
other folks who thiuk just as you do, for
somebody has sent me some verses in rela-
shuu to che mex great emauclpashin which
is to cum of, cut from some noospaper. l