The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1863-01-15
ODDS &c IEl .Dg.
ssKOGe IOpy.''


items taking days to gather them, IN hot
and eutry weather, using up much time
and leather r)-pondering we those items
Ger. While We cuumed them, slowly
rocking. Through oar mind qaeer ideas
fiocking,) came quick and nervous
knock i.g-kuockn at the sauctum door.
"Sure that must be links, we muttered
-"Jinks that's knocking at our door
Jinks the everlasting bore"
All, how we'll do We remind us, ia
tie walls which then confined Us, the
Exchanges" lay behind Us, and before us,
and around Us, all scattered er the floor.
Thought we, ''Jinks he wants to borrow
some old newspapers FOR tomorrow, and
twill be relief from sorrow to get rid Of
Jinks, the bore, by opening wide the
door" Still the visitor kept knocking
knocking louder than before. And the
scattered piles of papers madly cut some
curious capers, being lifted by breeze
coming through another door: and We
wished Ithe wish was evil, tor one deemed
always civi) that Jinks was at the devil,
to stay there cyermore, there TO find his
level-Jinks the nerve-unstrInglng bore
8racipg up our patience frmer, then,
without another murmur, "A,r. Jiuks,
said We "your pardon, your forgiveness
we implore. But the fact IS, we were
reading of some curious proceeding, and
thus it was, unheeding your loud knock
ing there before" here we opened
wide the door, But phancy, now, our
pheeinks-for it wasn't Jiuks, the oore
--Jinks, nameless evermore . But the
form that stood before US, caused trem-
II:n,r 70 o.
ly bore us back again to days Of yore-
days when ''items" were in plenty, and
where er this writer went he picked up
interesting items by the score. Twas
the fern of him our '.devil, in an atti-
tude uncivil; and be thrust his head
within the opeE door, with ''Ihe fore
man OUT of copy, sir, and says he wants
some more" Yes, ike Alexander, want
ed more
Now, this "local'' had already walked
about till nearly dead he had sauntered
through the city till his feet were very
sore-walked through the street called
Market, and by-ways running of into the
portions of the city both public aud
obscure had examined store and cellar,
and had questioned every ''feller' whom
he met, from door to door, If anything
was stirring-any accident occurring
not published heretofore-and had met
with no success he would rather kinder
guess he felt lutte wicked at that ugly
little bare, with the message from the
foreman that he wanted something
more"
Now, it's time you were departing, you
sad scamp :" cried we, upstarfing: ''get
you back into the Office office where you
have spoken will soon get your bones all |
broken" and we seized a cudgel, oakcn, |
that was lying on the hoor,) ''take your
hands out Of your pockets AMI leave the |
sanctum door tell the foreman there's no
copy, -ayou ugly little bore. :" Quoth the
deyil, {" send him more"
And our devil, never sitting still, Is |
fitting, still fitting, back and forth upon
the landing just ourside the sanctum door, |
Tears aaown his cheeks are streaming
strange light from his eye is beamiug--
and his voice is heard, still screaming, |
"Sir, the foreman wants some more -
''AnG our soul, pierced with that scream
ing, is awakened from the dreaming and /
has lost the peaceful feeling that we ever
had before; for the fancy will come Ger
MS, that each readers face before Us bears
the HofflG WOruS--''f e WaDta little more.
Wolds, on the forehead glaring, "YOur
funny column needs little more -
sGa- The following is OF German origin.
and has been published hund,e eds oe times.
But as item of information to the sin
gle men of America it can never be pub
lis-hed too often.
'sWho marries for love takes a wife
who marries for convenience takes a
mistress who marries for consideration
takes lady. You have vile for your
self a mistress, for your house and
friends lady for the world. Your wife
will-agree with you, your mistress ac-
commo1a.e you, Your lady manage you.
Your wife will take care CT your household,
your mistress of your house. your lady Of
appearance. If you are sNk Your vile
will nurse you, your mistress visit you,
and yoJtr lady will inquire after yonr
health. You take walk with your wife,
a ride with your mistress, and join par
ties with your lady. Your wife will share
your grief, your mistress your money, aud
your lady your debts. If you are dead
Scur wife will shed tesrs, your mistress
lament, and your lady wear mourning.
FOB WORK