The Union. [volume] (Georgetown, Del.) 1863-1866, 1863-09-18
xYit. Hn,nor nnd RIunders.

/" Go on, BIlll Here's O olu cove cussln
and a swearin' like anythingp Another \
time, when the magnificent "swell, /" with his
head in the air, walks out of Tattersalls,
street boy exclaims: 81 say They've let s
out that 'ere hanimal without his martingale
on !" We can youch for the fact of the fol-
lowing, which is still better: A lady, teaching
in a ragged school one Sunday evening, was
irving to impress ON her class of young city
Arabs the duty ofthankfulness to Providence;
and to begin at the lowest and most tangible
proposition, asked them to mention the plea
sures which in the course of the year they
enjoyed the most; holidays on some fine
heighboring downs being in her unsophisti-
Gated mind the probable reply to her question,
or, at the worst, the good Christmas dinner
provided by the guardians of the schools
The class, composed of ten or dozen lads
between sixteen or eighteen, all sat very still
for moment in profound eogitation. Then
the leader lifted his head, looked the lady
straight in the face, and answered: Sock
fghtin', ma'am."
| The position of the unhappy teacher, re-
duced to draw moral of thankfulness from
that particular species of enjoyment, needs
no elucidation, E ea
On different occasion, some other boys of
the same description being asked to define
what conscience might be, answered, that it
was ga thing lady Or ge'mman hadn't got,
who, when lad found their handkerchers
and gave them back to them, didn't give the
boy sixpence." .
A poor-law guardian in the North of Ire
land lately addressed his audience: Mr..
Chairman, and the gentleman of the Board,
the eye of Europe is upon us-the apple of
, discord has been flung in our midst-and if
} it be not nipped in the bud-it will burst into
aconffagration- will deluge the worldP'
t A school for poor children having read in
) their chapter in the Bible the denunciations
e against hypocrites who strain at gnat and
t swallow a camel" were afterwards examined
; by the benevolent patroness, Lady -, as
E to their recoIlections of the chapter. "What,
i in particular, was the sin of the Pharisees,
It children?" said the lady. eating camels,
n my lady," was the prompt reply.
An Irish nobleman having lived to great
d age in very feeble and imbecile condition,
u it occurred to one of his tenants to suggest to
9, his son and heir: "Don't you think, sir,
lie maybe the ould Lord has been forgotten up
rs there pointing to the sky this while past?
ne If your honor was to take him to the top Of
90 Sieve ma More and sho,o him little, wouldn't
nd it be good chance?"
So But beside these unintentional drolleries
80 | g ok, of 4r,,a wit in Iraloud
he with flavor all its own. Few theological
lot definitions, for instance, could bear the pain
or from that of priest who, having preached |
of sermon on miracles, was asked by one of hi
he congregation, walking homeward, to explain
so little more lucidly what a miracle meant
- sis it miracle you want to understand?
said the priest "Walk on there forninst me
- and I'll think how can explain it to you
The man walked on, and the priest came be
hind him and gave him o tremendous kick
"Ugh p roared the sufferer, why did yo
do that 2" " Did you feel it?" said til
g. priest. "To be sure did," replied til
unhappy disciple. "Well, then, remembe
H. this: 1t would have been miracle if 20
for had not" .'a
in Very lately a somewhat rigid specimen (
is the English governess, primly dressed as b.
IS a came her years, and by no means attractiv
the in corkscrew curls and well-pinched lips, az
by dressed Dublin carman in an authoritati,
manner with the obnoxious stipulation:
81 take you for an hour
Cabby lin an insinuating manner), GA
ma'am, won't We take me for life"
IN Il - .4oJ C.,
day, in Scotland, furtively to chip with h
pocket-hammer wayside rock of too temp
ing appearance, an old woman passing
remarked, with all the sternness be6tting Il
oee offence: "It's not stones you're breakin
te but the Sabbath" .-t.
'-a The French nobIesse de Gncien regi,
were doubtless, however, more often vict
rious than conquered in matters of wit. I
Due de Richelieu, splendid sample of t
grand seigneur was showing his guests o
day a curious collection of jewels. Among
them were two very valuable watches.
passing them from hand to hand an unfor
nate young gentleman allowed them both
fall to the floor. The Duke fastened to
lieye him from his modification, by sayiI
"Ah! sir, you are more clever imam !
matchmaker; he never succeeded in MAXI
them go together"
During the French Revolution ci-dect
applied for a passport under the name
"nis." ems ~ said the authorities at I
+ passport Office Comment, MS! Have J
no other name 2"
frit "Not now" said the satirical applica
81 used to be called st. Denis, but since J
have abolished the saints, and forbidden
use of the prefix De, there is nothing left
me but nisw
AN Unsuitable lover must have been Cat
r. lus, Roman poet, who was asked by Lesl
how many of her kisses would satisfy HI
worry and replied, GAS many as there are sands
- IL the deserts, or stars in the Heavens"
W. =" Is your master upW askeda an early v
"ai' tor of nobleman's valet. -
'ne "Yes, sir" rejoined the valet, with gr
ou ao innocance. "the huttler and carried him