The Cass County Republican. [volume] (Dowagiac, Mich.) 18??-1880, 1863-02-26

What COW -ardly aud chicken
hearted fellows, to rob poor woman
i'm that manner ~ remarked Gregory,
grimly. ..ssf
"Oh yes" said Ann Harriet; /" and
they spit tobacco JUICE all over her
clean floor, and whitfield all over the
hearth, and told her it was lucky for
her that she was widow, for il she
hadn't been, they would have made
her one. Ishould think you would feel
dreadtully to have q whole houseful
right opposite" -'+e.i '---'a'f,Sfs 90
"We do feel pretty dreadfully," re-
piled Gregory Soften"
Miranda, you must have a little
company while your cousin is here, and
make her acquainted with some of the
ladies and gentlemen of the city," said
Aunt Farnsworth. . 80
"Ishonld like to, very much, mother;
and if you are willing, / will set about
it immediately after breakfast ; and per-
haps can arrange things so as to have
it tomorrow night" was Miranda's
reply. ,.s.s5
This suggestion was eagerly second
ed by Gregory, who always enjoyed
the social parties that his sister had a
peculiar knack in getting up at short
notice. s--
Their pleasant anticipations of the
soiree were suddenly checked by quite
a melancholy mishap to the solid Ann
Harriet. In reaching forward to re-
ccive cup of coffee from her aunt, she
was Obliged to rise little from her
seat. Now, the chair in which she
was sitting had been broken the day
before and was glued together, strong
enough for any ordinary usage, bnt
wholly inadequate to sustain such
weight as now taxed it; SO when Ann
"set back" into The furniture, the al.
ready strained joints came apart, and
and she felt herself descending to the
floor; to save herself, she clung to the
edge of the table, but, of course, that
was no support; on the contrary, it
tilted up and launched the whole con-
tents over the PROSTATE form of the un-
fortunate Ann Harriet. There she lay,
pinned to the floor by the heavy table,
while her face and neck and dress were
covered with butter, gooseberry pie,
hot coffee, broken eggs, and slices of
fried ham. The carpet was in simi-
lar condition, and the Old Dominion
coffeepot was found expiring under the
sofa.
Mr.. Farnsworth, in an attempt to
save the table from going over, lost his
own balance, and fell h"under-fat OH
the floor, where he lay shu.ldering with
his hair in dish of Shaker apple
sauce I; the rest of the family escaped
unscathed, but were sadly astonished
at the sudden turn things had taken.
Mr.. Farnsworth and Gregory raised
the fallen table To its formor position,
and Miranda set about collecting the
scattered dishes. rst -r la.
81 knew that We were going to break
fast, but did not think we should
break 70 fast as that" remarked Greg
Ory, ruefully.. roaftsi fs fa
Ann Harriet up to this time, had re.
tanned her consciousness, when it sud
denly occurred to her that, in the stories
she had read, the heroines always
tainted when anything unusual hap
pened; so she shut up her eyes and
began To gasp, just as her uncle and
cousin were about to assist her TO her
feet.
"She is faint; get some water,
qnick!" exclaimed Miranda.
Gregory seized the "Old Dominion" :"
and dashed what coffee there was left
in it on AIMS face, then threw on all
the cream in the pitcher, and wound
up his frightiul orgie by emptying over
her locks lot of brown sugar from a
bowl which stood near. The effect
was that the faint damsel J" came to-
very fast, and requested to he helped
up. Her aspect was remarkably ludi-
crons; the moistened sugar, clinging
TO her hair and plastering up her eyes,
caused SO much mirth on Grrgory's
part that he could hardly restrain it
within the bounds of poli,eness.
ooh, do help me up!" implored Ann
Easier said tiIan done. Mr.. Farms.
worth took hold Of one arm, and Greg.
DRY the other, but their united effort
was not sufficient. Mr.. Farnsworth
had but recently recovered from an
attack of the rhenmatism-and api,Ie
sauce-and was by no means strong
enough for snch work; while Gregory
was 80 full Of laughter that it deprived
him of half his strength. After one or
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