The mountain Democrat., 1863-08-08
Ths Poaunh Leyal Lpanus.

tent she ts League, Last night was, "a
the minister trooly said on that occasbun,
a memorable epoch in the history of Pc.
dunk, ~ - - 1Af3unk but of the
world. Future generations will revere
the day; babies yet unborn will have a
big time on il, aud the almanacks of the
future will make mention Of the event
which it sellybrated. Them's the minis
ter's langwidgc.
went over to the schoolhouse and
found smart sprinklin of q crowd in that
edits. The room was gorgisly lit with
kerosene lamps and candles which the
thoughtful liburality Of good many folks
had indoosed 'em to bring along. After
we'd had time for how'd we do, SQUARE
Dohed called the meetin to order, and seq
he:
"Feiler citizens, as the time has arroven
to organize this meetin, | would move
that our distinguished feller- citizen dis
tinSuished bout ekally fey the in,elIeek
he's got into him and his many virtoos.
| say, I'd move that our distinguished
feller-citizen, Captain E. Swipes, take the
cheer and preside over this meeting -
Those in favor, say aye-cOntrary same
sine. Carried. Captain Swipes, the
voice Of this here assemblage calls onto
you to preside over its deliberashuns."
"She shan't call twict, Sez |. "Lo,
here am )" and walked majestically up
TO the masters stand, and rapping onto it,
seq i;
"Ahem! The meetin vii come to or.
dcr."
Then sot down and looked dignified
for about u minute and q half, and then
Scz severely:
"Order, gentlemen, order!" addin be.
ninety, Square Dohed will eexplain the
objeck Of the meetin."
The Square got up and sez he: "Mr.
Chairman the call for the meetin ia as fol-
lers:
"'The loyal citizens of Podunk and all
others in favor Of detainin the Union and
expressin this unholy rebelyn, is invited
10 meet at the schoolhouse this evenin for
+ the purpose Of fornin a Loyal Union
League. Rally, freemen Of POdunk l.
Your k,dentry calls! Show your colors,
and give rebel yum its last death blow -
When POdunk speaks, let rebbils trem-
ble I
Mr.. Chairman, the crisis has arroven
the eyes Of the world are orto us!-
The times demand that every citizen
shool show his hand U Z kedhtry is in
danger. and there is no way TO save il but
for Us, citizens Of Podunk in sollrm coun.
Gil assembled, to declare in thunder tones
that we are loyal! Let US speak to night
in such u way that jeff. Davis and his
satuilites will know that Podunk harbors
no traitors. Our kedntry is in danger
she needs troo sons Let's show her
that she's got EN- in Podunk by formin a
Loyal Union League. Id like to hear
from Parson Twitter."
Here the Square Sot down, and the
Parson squared hiSself for a sermon. The
mint he opened, the folks began to lay
back jest as they du on a Sunday, and
sfoie he got threw there want ten wide
awakes in the house. The Parson closed
his strrin speech by readin the follerin:
WHEREAS. This is the hour OF our CON-
mo1 kedntry'S peril; and whereas, in
! these times he ho is not for me is agin
me, and be that soweth not my clothes,
searcheth a board therefore,
Resolved, That we, the loyal citizens Of
Podunk, whose names are here sined, de-
clare that We are patriots, ct settery, and
that those whose names are not sined are
Sympathizers with the rebelyun.
Resolved, That for the purpose Of tes-
tifyin our atfecshun for this Government
and hatred for treason, we hereby form
ourselves into Loyal Union League, and
pledge ourselves to keep on doin so until
the last rebbil is exterminated, and the
last rebbil dies Of old age
Square Dohed sed he seconded the res
olution, which he sed had the real patri.
otic ring into '9n, and he called for the
questyun. Jest as | was goin to put it,
young feller in the back part of the
room got up in haste, and seq he:
"Mr. Chairman, il resolushuns would
have killed rebbils. they'd been resolved
out Of existuns more'n two years ago.
We citizens Of Podunk hev expressed our
unalterable devoshun to the Union TWEEN.
ty-seven different times, and Jest as many
times have told JEFF Davis and his fellow
tyratures that this here unholy rebelyun
must be crushed, and fowl treason exter.
pated.
"But somehow they don't seem to
mind the reSolushuns we pass, or even
the speeches we make, and ! kinder begin
to suspect they've got used to 'em, and so
we'd better try somethin else; therefore,
| move to amend the resolushuns ty
addin-
"And whereas, The rebbils are in arms
and won't listen to reason or take in a
rashunal idea unless you first make hole
in their beds for it to get in and where
as, the kedntry must hev more sojers,
therefore,
Resolved, That the members of this
here League volunteer for the war.
"And on this call the questyun."
put the questyun, and the way the
boys yelled was sin. So sez |, II guess
it amt worth while to call for t'other side /;
it seems to be unanermous"
At this, up jumped the ParsOn, who
sed the trail Of the sarpint was plain to be
seen,
Then Square Dohed he got up and sed
the emissAries of JEFF. Davis was among
US. He feared the Chair wasn't sound
he feared it was Copperhead, and that
that was no place for loyal men. He'd
withdraw his resolushpns, and withdraw
hisself, and invite the trooly loyal to meet
at some other time. So he started for
the door, follered by abOnt half of the
crowd; and as he went seq /, with wither-
ing sarkasm:
"Square, if I'm Copperhead, you're
a muttonhead. kin bite, but you kin
only butt"
After he and his friends had gone, we
passed the follerin:
Resolved, That this crowd hain't got
any $500 sneaks in it, but that we'll stand