The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1863-12-02
For the Grand Haven Nuze.
CORRESPONDENCE.
PUDDLEviLLE, Nov thirty, lS6;


MISTER EDDYTUR: am still livn'
man I.cum with in l of ben' draftid,
for my next dore nabur ware taken.-
When he found he had drawn a prise he
ware terrible mad; for the spase of days
and mites he new no more what to do
with it than the man that drew the ele-
FAINT. He kussed The adminislrashun'
kussed the ab'llshinsts and the niggers for
bringn' on the war, and wished them all
in davy jonses lockit (as sbakspear has
i0, though jest afore the draft he war 60
in it all blue for the government, attend
in war meatin's, tcllin' how il ware the
dooty of ev'ry man (but bimsel0 to 90
TO the war, or send substitute, or con-
triboot the money TO help sumbody else
to 90 Che never Civ cent? and belered
himself horse in his sturrn' appeals of
patriutism. But when the hippercriticle
kuss found he ware drafted, and got lit
tie over his bull madness, he sot his wits
to wurk las shakspear has it) to git
out of the unpleasant predickamint-for
be ware two koWardly to 90, aud two
Stingee TO furnish substitute. Mater
had favor'd him with an all ka-slumux
bic bile, rite on bis shin, and it ware not
entirely heeled; so he bounded it up fust
with of Herrck's Shuger-koted plasiers,
then with a cabbige leaf as big as nu
moon, and then and thare wound round
as menny thick nesses of bandigcs rs en-
kloses an egipshun mummee, karefuly
placin' Xxx grin back in its folds, tide
his kotten pokit kankerchef over the spot,
on the outside of his trowser looms, and
went to the provoste marshaps offs, limp
in and gruntin' long. He told the pro-
voste marshal (the lyin' curse) that he had
a feever soar thare when boy; that it
broke out periodically and run, and slufd,
and play'd the mischief with him ginrally.
He then commenced to unwinde the ban
diges; the Xxx grin back dropt on the
floor, causn' the of the provoste mar
shall to twinkel with delite las shakespear
has it)-he ware friend of grin backs
byme bi he kun to the cabbige lief then
to the plaster, which he was I Of amour
remoov'n, it hert so orfully. The soar
did look little bad. The proyoste mar
shal look'd at it, and havin' hcerd he ware
a man bilin over with luv Of kounlry las
shakspcar has it) he 'blieved his story
and made him out his sirlifikate Of dis.
charge. Where upon my uabur-his Ease
awl rinkled with the pane Of his fee yer
soar-presented the proyoste marshal
with the Xxx grin backs (he ware frend
to grin backs), sayin' it ware two bad the
government didn't appresheale talent, and
Good only afford to pay ten dollars day
for sich distinguished servises, aud he wo'd
make him present of the Xxx grin back
as a marke of his speshol regard. When
the styzens of Puddlevil found out the
descpshan practised by my hipperkriticle,
kin', thevein', cheetin' nabur they ware
all rile'd up aud most pesky mad for the
space Of five days and mites, and talkd
of ridc'n him on rale, and so forth, but
somehow didn't git at it. For my part j
had the mite mare, 3 consecutive mites
on the okasion, my fealings were SO har-
rur'd up (as shakespear has it( for no
that man that wod so robb the guy'rment
wood steel the butter off the last frillur
Of blind pawpur-exlract the brass
males from oil his own iarLher's coffin, aud
offer 'em for sale at publick aukshun, or
open the grave Of his deceased mnther