Union County star and Lewisburg chronicle. [volume] (Lewisburg, Pa.) 1859-1864, 1863-03-03
Their Different Ways.

TAn imaginative old bachelor editor,
in bis desperation, attempts to praise the
fair sex by the following picture Of the DIFF
fcrent preliminaries of the Woman and the
Man in retiring to rest. Hear him
The youOg lady trips lightly up to her
own nice chamber, and firstly fastens the
door and draws the curtains, SO that no
possible nocturnal blunderer or sneak can
catch glimpse Of her. Tha: done secure
ly, she turns on the gas to its full, and
institutes q general search throug ghout the
apartment, that she may be sure that ii
does not contain some horrible bugbear,
or desperate ruAi,n, in big whiskers and
crisp black hair. Carefully she lifts the
bed valance, peers iuto places where even
Tom Thumb could not squeeze hi. dininu-
tive corporation, and takes cursory peep
into the half-emptied trunk, not forgetting
to glance nervously under the sofa, The
space between which and the Il ,or is no;
sufficient to contain the ghost Of Calvin
Elson, much less an oriina-y roGber.
Having ascer,aiusl that she is really
alone, she leisurely relieves her glossy
hair of the pins aud combs which enthrall
it, and does it up mere compac.ly. Then
of comes the collar, and the light vapory
cloud Of lace she calls underslseves, which
all the day have been clasped round her
arms by a couple of India rubber straps.
Next, the love of dress is unfastened In
front. The sundry waist strings and but
ton straps are loosed, and, 10! what col
lapse, like that of Prof. loves big bal
loon. She stands, like Saturn, the centre
of rings. There they lie on the soft
carpet, partly covered By the linen un-
derfxings aud overfxiugs, with no more
expression in them than there is in the
bare floor beneath the carpet. Sits she
upon the edge of the bed, and begins the
unlacng of CATERS; the feet are carefully
psrched upon the knees down come the
CATERS, off come the elastics, and her
thumbs, inserted at the top Of the stock
iaes, push downtown over the heel, and
the cotton rests beside the prunella. A
smile peeps out behind the bushes of
hersweet face, as, standing before the glass,
she places upon her bead the night cap,
and with quick twist Of the fingers ties
the besi,cbing bow. The night gown is
thrown over the frilled chemse, conceal,
ing the heavipg bosom and shoulders in
its folds. Now the cOun,erpane and
sheets are thrown back, and the ga
turned down-very, very low-aud the
form presses the yielding couch, and the
angel goes off into the world of dreams :!
But, in the room directly above her,
is the great brute of brother. He
comes in, shuts the door with slam;
turns the key with snap, growls at
chair which happens to be in the way,
pulls of hi. boots, and throws them into
corner, pushes his socks from bis feet,
drops his pantaloons on the floor, aud
let's them lie there; gets off his coat and
vest by quick, viudictiSe sort Of jerk
of bis arms and body; unpins and unbut-
tons his collar, throws it carelessly with
the tie at, rather than Oh, the table T.;
travels to the window in his shirt, to let
down the curtain, as il be didn't care
whether the entire population Of the
street beheld his anatomy or not; be then
puts out the light, and bounces into bed,
like great calf jumping into pile Of
hay-curls himself up, bis knees nearly
touching his nose, lies SO a moment or
two, turns on bis back, stretches his
limbs out, swears at the tucking in Of
the bed clothes, turns over on the other
side, and is-ssleep. And then comes in
the snoring aud snortiug!
Isn't there q vast difference in style J
During Judge Franks term Of ofhce,he
had at ope time associated with him Mr..
F., of Harrisburg, q man remarkable for
his mathematical talent, but not paIticu-
larly brilliant in matters pertaining to the
judiciary. At a certain morning session
in court, a dispute arose between the law
yers and Judge relative to the correctness
of some testimony that had just been rem.
dered. Not being able to agree, Judge
Franks turning towards Judge F. whom
be had observed busy with paper during
the trial, said,
Judge f., you have been taking notes,
l see. can not you Set Us right 2"
no" answered the sstonished gentle
man, slowly raising his head ~ sas no
taEia any Ho,es; I .cas asust malia-a-