The Lansing state Republican. [volume] (Lansing, Mich.) 1855-1874, 1863-08-12
THE STORY OF "HAM

From MAJOR Winthrop John Brent
John Brent Sir Biron Bdduph Tan Enelisl
baronet) and Richard Wade (who tells the story
are returning across the plains from California
when they meet with Ham" under the follow
ing circumstances ::
Winter chased Us close. It was full Decem-
Der when the plains left US, fell back, aud bcach.
ed ~ upon the outer edge of civilization, at In
dependence, Missouri.
The muddy Missouri was running drees
Steamboats, were tired OF skipping from sandbar
to sandbar. Engineer had reported to Captain,
that kangaroo, No. 3, would bust, if he didn't
stop trying to make her liii herself over the
damp country by her braces" No more steam
boating on the yellow ditch till there was rise;
until the Platte sent down sand three and water
one, or the Yellowstone mud three and water
one. We must travel by land to ~. Louis and
rail road
We could go with our horses as fast as the
stage coaches. So we sold our pack beasts and
continued our galOp of three across Missouri.
Halfway across, We stopped one eveningat the
mean best tavern in mean tOwn-a frowzy cOun-
try town, with a dusty public square, a boxy
church and spittly court house.
Fit entertainment for beast the tavern offered
We saw our horses stabbed and had our sup
per.
"Shal we 20 into the spittoOn.' said Biddulph
"Certainly, said Brent. "The bar rOom-I
am sorry to hear you speak of it with foreign
Prejudice-is an institution, and merits study.
Argee, upon which the bar room is based, is also
an institution"
"Wen came to study American institutions
Let as 60 in and take Whit of disgust"
Fit entertainment for brute the bar room offer
ed
In that club room we found the brute class
drinking, swearing, splitting, squabbling over the
price of hemp and the price of niggers," and
talking what is called politics"
One tall, truculent Pike, the lOudest of all
that blatant crew, seemed to Brent and myself
an cid acquaintance We had seen him or his
double somewhere. But neither of US could fit
him with pedestal in our long gallery of mem
Ory. Saints one takes pains to remember, and
their scenes; but satyrs one endeavors to lose
" Have you had enough of the spittOOn -
asked Biddulph. Shall we go up? They've
put US all three in the same room; but bivouacs
in the same big rOOm-Out dOOrs-are what we
are best used to-"
Two and half beds, one broken backed chair,
a washstand decked with an ancient fringed tow
ell and all abandoned tooth brush, one torn slip
per, and stove pipe hole, furnished our bed
chamber
We we're about to cast lots for the half bed
when we heard two men enter the next rOOm
The partition was only paper pasted over lath
and cut up as if Border Ruffan member Of
Congress had practiced at it with bowie knife
before a street fight. Every word of our neigh
bors came to us. They were talking of a slave
bargain. | eliminate their oaths, though such
6ltrations does them injustice.
Eight hundred dollars, said the first speaker
I and cd us I
knew had spoken. Eight hundred-that's the
top of my pile for that boy. Ef he warn't so
old and hadn't one eye poked out l agree he'd
be wuth heap more
"Nsal, a trades a trade. III take yer stump.
Count our yer dimes, and III fill out blank bill
OF sale Murker, the boys yOu'rn."
"Murker" We started at the name. This
was the satyr we had observed in the bar room.
Had FulanO's victim crept from under his cairn
in Luggernal Alley, and chased us to take flesh
here and harm Us again. (FulanO, Wade's
horse, had trsmpled to death a villain of that
name who attacked them on the plans.)
The likeness, look, voice and name we're pres
emily accounted for
you're looking for your brother out from
Sacramenter bout now, | reckon" said the ira
der.
"He wur comm cross lots with a man named
Larrup, a partner of hs'n. Like enough
they've stayed over winter at Salt Lake. They
ought to rake down a most mountainous pile
thar"
"MormOns is flush and sassy with their dimes
sence the emergraton. Now thar's yer bill Of
sale, all right"
And thar's yer money, all right
THAT ares wut call a screechin' good price
for an old, one eyed niger. Fourteen hundred
dOllars-an all fired price"
Eight hundred, you mean
"No; fourteen, Yer see yer not up ter
taime on the niger question. know EN- Ike a
church steepe. When | bought that are boy,
now comm three year, / seed he wuz a spright-
" niger, one er yer ambishus sort, what would
be mighty apt to git fractions, an be maxim
tracks, onless | got a holt on him So, seq | to
him, Ham, you're sprightly niger. one o the
reel ambishus sort, now aincher?N He allowed
be warn't nothin' else. WAL sez |, Ham,
how'd yer ike to buy yerself an be free mig
ger, an hev house o yer own, an woman O.
yer own, all Jess ike white folkss 'Lor',' sez
be, 'Massa, I'd Ike it a heep.' WAL sez l.
you Jess scrabble round an raise me seven hun
dred dollars, an III sell yer ter yersef an cheap
at that So yer see he begun to pay up, an
got holt on him He's handy nigger, an A
likely niger, an pop'ler niger. He kin play
on the fiddle ike taime-pOoty nigh a minstrel
is that niger. lie can cut har, an fry a
beeisteak with ayry man. He kin dive team,
aud do little jirer work, an shoe a mule when
thar amt no reg'lar blacksmith round. He made
these yer boots an reg'ar stompers thev is.
He's one o them ehirrupy, smiln' niggers, with
white teeth and genteel manners, Ehst critters
and foaks naturally takes to. WAL, he picked
up the bits an quarters right smart He's been