The Union. [volume] (Georgetown, Del.) 1863-1866, 1863-12-04
ssrThe Philadelphia Gazette SAYS that .

naDlt OF sootnlng the weary hours OF MS
watch with shot corn, 'Ithsother night passed
brick yard in which an ascending steam
attracted his attention, and entering found it
came from a pot of boiling corn belonging to
the colored female ofwhom he usually bought
his repast. The cook seeing her old custo-
mer, grinned and begged to treat him to
dish of his favoite "fodder." The Gazette
thus describes the rest of the scene:
He accepted the offer, and took a seat
upon an inverted clothes basket. The lady
raised the lid of the cauldron, and with big
fork produced the sueculent. 10 the dismay
and disgust of the officer he saw thatthe lady
was cooking the corn in a pot filled with
dirty clothes, both boiling together.
SIS that the way you cook all your corn2"
asked the officer, with an abominal qualm.
"Sertain."
''What, along with dirty clothes"
''Why, of course Can't afford to buy coal
to bile de close an.de corn seperate.
The officer dropped the car and took a
hurried leave.
A Big SELL.-A countrym2n went into a
store in Boston the other day, and told the
keeper that neighbor had intrusted him
with some money to spend to advantage,
and he intended to do it where he would be
treated the best.
He hadn't been used very well by the ira
ders in Boston, and he would not part with
his neighbor's money until he found man
who would use him about right. With the
utmost suayity the store-keeper said.
Il think l can serve you to your liking.
With what do you want to be treatedf'
'sWell' said the farmer with leer in his
eve, sin the first place | want glass Of tod
dy," which was forthcoming. 'Now | will
have nice cigar" says the countryman,
1t was promptly handed him, leisurely light
ed, and throwing him back, his feet as high
as his head he commenced putting away
like Dutchman.
"Now what do you want to purchase"
says the keeper.
my neighbor handed me two cents when
left home to buy him plug of tobacco.
Have you the article"
h "The keeper sloped instanter, and the
next that was heard from him was that his
sides were shaking and his face on fire, as he
was relating the sell to his friends down
town.
THE RIVAL CANDIDATEs.-The same cor
respondent sends the following, which is very
good-none the worse that it has appeared
before in substance in the magazine. That
time the scene was laid in Lower Mississippi.
Very likely it happened in several places
Politician are much alike.
Another candidate came upon "a poor
white man" who had vote to give, if he
did have to do his own milking. Tho can
didate, Jones, asked him if he should hold
the cow, which seemed to be uneasy, anu
the old man consenting very readily, no
took her by the horns and held fast until the
operation was done.
.Have you had Robinson hiSrivall around
here lately ?" he asked.
"oh yes! He's behind the barn holding
the calf"
CAUTION FRox SAMBo.-Some years ago
there was revival in the interior ofGeorgia,
in the course of which large STAKEHOLDER
was converted from the error of his way, and
determined to 'join church" After the
patriarchal fashion, he concluded to set of
ON the pilgrimage heavenward, accompanied
by his ''family," and on the day when hewas
to be immersed, he appeared at the creek
with all his negroes. The minister proceeded
to "duck" one after the other, beginning, of
course, with his master, and at last came to
one slave who was stubborn, and whom,
the more effectually to drive the devil, no
held beneath the floor for somewhat un-
comfortable period.
When the black fellow at last got his head
out and had cleared his throat Of perhaps o
gallon of water, he sputted out
"Look here, if you don't stop this blamed
thing, first thing you know somebody'll loose
a niger"
A PENNY TO THE WAIrER.-There is good
story going the round of the Paris nevspa-
pers An agitation has been for some time
on foot for abolishing the douceur of one or
two sous given from time immemorial to the
garcon who brings your demi-tasse or your
glass of absinthe in coffee house. Lately q
Gus toner at one of the most fashionable eqfes
in Paris paid his reckoning without adding
thereto the ordinary copper compliment to
the waiter. This functionary said nothing
but regarded the customer, who was an old
habitue of the establishment, with a look Of
blank remonstrance taciiy enforcing expla-
nation.
"Alphonse," said the customer, kindly but
firmly, am very sorry that ] belong to the
society for giving nothing to waiters.p
"Oh Monsieur. nc ditespas ca" cried Al
phonse," you are in prdtique. and in that
case may hint to you that /, and Eugene.
and Louis, yonder, all belong to the society
for accidentally spilling hot coffee scsr TIE
'ro'osers Of stingy customers
The member Of the society for giving moth
nor IN v-oitpre ,,,,, ad teIx r,raeead sa,, car