Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1863-11-26
Job Potson's Experiment.

a dozen. or more, of social spirits, engaged
in drinking cider and talking politics By
and by they had talked the political field dry,
and one of their number-Sam Shute by
name--a red-nosed, blear-eyed man, opened
upon the subject of domestic government
He ventilated himself upon household affairs
in general, and finally approached one of his
hobbies as follows
81 tell ye, my boys, mans got to be mas
ter in his own house if he ever expects to be
anybody. Just let your wife gain an inch,
and she'll take an ell Let her once take
the reins, and she'll be sure to keep 'em.-
Lord what thing man must be to let his
wife rule him"
Thereupon Mr. Sam Shute finished his mug
of cider and then filed his mouth with to-
bacco
''That's a fact" cried Tom Burnham, in a
thick, foggy voice. Egad, I'd like to see a
woman rulin' me. | never had it in my fam
'ly No, sirs, hold the reins myself Ny
wife moves when | tell her to- She's got her
lesson, and she knows Just what to depend
on"
Tom Burnham finished his mug of cider
and lighted his old black pipe.
g You're right" chimed Lot Quimby, lift
ing his great dirty boots on to the stove
hearth as he spoke of man provides "a
home for his family, he's got right to be
boss Thunder I'd like to see a woman
pullin' me around by the nose"
''The fact IS" resumed Sam Shute, empty
ing his mouth upon the floor, ''these ere wo-
men have got two leadin' strings, and when
they can't pull by one, they try the other
In the first place, they want to govern like
masters,-that suits EN- best; but, if they
can't do that, then they try to fetch Us round
i
none O their nonsense over me. Lord !
When man once puts his foot down, what
car a woman dom
That's so" pronounced Burnham, digging
up the moist tobacco in his pipe with the
blade Of his jack-knife, and then putting away
for dear life. CHATS so" he repeated after
his pipe was once more in smoking order
g pye had Experience in that. When a man
once puts his foot down, a woman can't do
nothin'. A woman'll pull an haul jest as long
as there's a chance Of havin' her own way; but
when she finds that she's got a master, why,
Lord bless We, she'll be like a colt with the
bit in,-there may be some kckin' and strug-
Gin but she's got to come round finally.
Women have to be broken jes' like colts"
Egg-zactly !" said Lot Quimby, lowering
his boots to the floor, but leaving part of
the dirt upon the stove-hearth. You've hit
the thing precisely, Tom. Egad, there's some
comfort in a mans feelin's that he's boss of
the establishment. If I've ever got to be a
slave, | hope | shan't be slave to a woman
that's all I've got to say. As long as l own
a house, | kaIlllate to rule in it. What's
your opinion, Job ?"
This last remark was addressed to Job Pot
son, small sized, quiet-lookng man, who
sat i'll the corner smoking new pipe.
81 guess" said Sam Shute, with laugh,
{" that Job is a ieeAe on the other track"
Shouldn't wonder" added Tom Burnham
with a wink lie ran "A broom-straw through
the muddy stem of his old pipe, and then
continued" His wife's got the upper hand
rather guess"
Not by derned sight" exclaimed Job in
high dudgeon. " Sirs Ny wife don't rule me-
You're mighty mistaken if you think I'm hen
peclled."
':But Mrs. Potscn does just about as she's
a mind to, l take it, suggested Shute.
And" added Burnham, who had got his
pipe going once more, i" rayther guess Job
does jest about rs she tells him to do"
That's so, fast enough" said Lot Qumby
But Job declared that it was not so /; and
he became very angry when his companions
laughed at him and expressed their pity for
HIM
store and started for home, he began to wonder
if they had not told the truth. Job was not
large minded man. He was an honest kind
hearted man; but he lacked energy and de-
cision. Still, he had some pride, all small
men are apt to have; and the remarks of his
companions had touched him in tender spot.
As he walked slowly homeward he thought
the matter over, and finally came to the CON
clusion that his wife did rule. He called to
mind all the domestic arrangements and do
ings of the past week, and he was forced to
admit that he WIS, in many respects, the gov
crned. He stopped square i'll the road, and
put his foot down.
This won't do !" he declared to himself
" must turn over a new leaf BY the great
Moses! I'll be master in my own house We
will see who'll govern y
Sarah Poison sat in her kitchen, engaged
N mcnding her husbands frock. She was a
me lium sized, mild-taced woman, with clear
hazel eyes and dark brown hair-a faithful
loving woman, frugal and industrious, and
posse ssing good share of frmness and de-
eison. The house was Clean and in order
the shed was pattern of neatness; the barn
was wen kept; the COWS and pigs were fat
and sleek; the orchard was trim; and the
farm was productive; and careful observer
who had watched the doings of fifteen years
would have said that Sarah Poison was the
genius who presided over all this order and
thrift.
Job Poison reached his home, and hung
his hat upon the back of a chair, and sat
down by the stove.
"Job," said his wife, without stopping hel
needle, as soon as you get warm, | guess
you'd better fix our front door step The
plank on the lower step is loose. And after
dinner would be a good time to secure the
beam over the tie-up. You had better do il
before the stanchions get loose. The cattle
can work them little now. A stitch il
time saves nine you know"
''I'll look out for my barn, said Job, pla
cling rather an undue emphasis upon the n1Y
His wifes needle fairly stopped, and look
of curious surprise crept over her face. Wha
did the man mean?
But, job" she suggested, kindly, Il" hav,
YOU noticed that the beam is loose ,"
This rather staggered Job Poison but HI
quickly recovered himself, and placed hi
right foot little more firmly upon the floor
''Sarah," he said, q will look out for m
own affairs If you will attend to your dutie
here in the house, you'll do enough"
dob Poison, what do YOU mean -
q mean this" replied Job, speaking quick
" and snappishly He hadn't the strength t
speak slowly and sternly. q mean this. L
be master of my own affairs. | don't need
ruler; and, what's more, | don't intend
have one ~
Like all men who are yenturing beyon
their depth, Job Poison was forced to max
up in bitterness what he lacked in power.
At first his wife was astounded; but whe
she saw that he kept his eye upon the fire