Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1862-05-13
A Petition.

TO THE noNoRABLE-THE VERY HONORABLE
AND MORE TGo, LEGISLATURE OF WISCONSIN,
OR ANY OTHER NAN, PRAYIHGl
The petition from your honorable petit
Toner respectively represents TO yonr hun.
bic body, that be has examined with due
difidence 70 tho statues Of this State and
that he is therein made to believe that ac-
cOrdiHg 10 the hardware and provisions Of
the Constitution he is u free citizen, ex
eept one wife and baby. and a big mort
gage On small lot OF lard, and has the
right to run a petition between, aud to
your handle body, to wit:
Being Of mature discretion, and sound
age. and Of a patriotic cast Of features, he
has faithfully served the country he honors,
for several years from infancy, in all sorts
Of ways, and has stuck TO her like burr
in the caudal appendage Of canine all the
time, and held no Ufhce of trust, mistrust,
profit, honor, emoluments, perquis;tes, or
affection, except Marshall of the day one
rainy Fourth Of July; it is the honoral lie
belief of the petitioner aforesaid, to your
humble body. that he OF. bit to be rewar-
ded.
And now, when all the heet>footed rogurs
are en- listing in the army to escape legal
proceedings, he is left out in the wet, and
requests To be appointed to some Of the ful>
lowing Offices, as n token Of the esteem
merit, confidence, and what you call it,
Governors AMI such high men always have
for those who stood at the roots and boos-
ted, when you were all candidates and
needed help.
To the Position of Assistant Governor,
with-salary in advance.
Or: to the position of Minister to Rome
or whatever your petitioner pleases, at the
expense and per diem, of the State;
Or: to the position Of agent for the State,
to visit New York, to inspect arms and
things by gaslight, at the expense os the
State;
Or: to attCd regiment as wet nurse
with rank Of two colonies, at the expense IF
the war fund, with private instructions to
cOnfne our services to our family whom
said services are needed;
Or: to position, rank, and pay of Briga.
der General, with power to appoint as lea-
der Of the band, our nephew Platter Head,
who don't know G Sharp, from Member
of Congress;
Or: to the position of Colonel of s,me
infantry company, with instructions to raj,
all the members we can having a number
ofmonths to do it in;
Or: TO the position Of Lieutenant Colonel
OF a squad OF sap heads and misers, with a
private understanding that We can resign
the day before the battle, and run for some
Circuit Judgeship or carry flag of truce
In advance of retreat;
Or: TO the position of Adiutant General
OF two batalliDns, whose only duty shall lie
to 90 back for re Endorsements, unless the
rain should threaten to damage our
clothes;
Or; to the patriotic position Of PaymasI
ter, to handle State funds without giving
security, to the benefits of the wife and
child OF the paymaster aforesaid;
1t your humble body wall not grant the
prayer of your honorable petitioner, to the
full and general extent he duplicates for
-itall these places are filed, your bonor>
able supplicatOr would accept Of;
The position of clerk to one or the other
of the Houses Of the Legislature;
Or; the position of assistat clerk;
Or; the position of door keeper;
Or: the position of first, second, third or
fourth, assistant door keeper;
Or: the position of reporter, with
chance to draw for stationary for papers not
reported for;
Or: the position of page, page and a half,
or two pages;
Or: the position of fireman
Or: the position of door-tender TO ona of
the ont-houses,i if the inner houses are filed
with suckers.
Or: tho position Of apple, molasses cam
dy, pea nut, or popcorn pedler, at the en-
trance to your hum bic but virtuous tenn
pie.
And your humble petitioner would still
further petition, that If there is no
place now vacant, in the bestowaI of your
humbly body, tina. you will at once make .
some office to suit the particular wants Of |
your honorable petitioner, and to relieve
his pressing Decessities-as he is too poor
to give notes, to dishonest to be trusted, to
lazy to earn a living. and is therefore, a fit |
subject fer an appointment to some high
position at your hanls.
II your humble body will grant the prayer
OF your honorable petitioner, you will
make one man happy, reward true sup
porter OF this, or ans other administration,
II u pays up prompt, and that you escape
Elder Browns lake Of 6 re- your honora-
bic petitioner, both by himself and by
proxy, will. although the task be severe
one, pray, &c,
Back PoMERoY.