Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1862-05-22
MARRIED IN A HURRY


A runaway couple. "true lovers" Of the most
fervent Yankee stamp, arrived at small inn
near Boston, and wanted the landlord to send
for minister to "splice em," and to be "quick
about it."
The landlord complied, and the licensed min
lister came.
'Be you the minister" inquired the BRIDE
groom.
81 am" replied he.
"Oh! you be, ehP What's your rameP"
"Striggins."
"Wal, meow, Striggins," said the Yankee, "du
it up brown, and your money is ready and
forthwith the reverend gentleman commenced:
"You will please TO join hands"
The Yankee stood up by his lady love, and
seized her fervently by the hand.
''You promise, Mr.. A." said the parson,
"to take this woman"
"Yaas-yaas."
"That you will love and honor her in all
thingsP P"
'Sm tin yaas, tell yerw w
"That you will cling to her, and her only, as
| long as you both shall live?"
"Yaas, indeed-nothin' else % continued the
Yankee, In the most delighted and earnest
manner.
But here the reverend gentleman halted
much to the surprise of all present, and to the
especial annoyance and discomfort of the. ar
dent bridegroom.
"One moment my FRIEND" responded the
minister slowly for it occurred to him that the
laws of his State did not permit this perform
ance without the punishment of the banns for
a certain length of time.
| "What-what-what in thunder's the mat
terP Don't stop here, Put her thru What's
splitP Anything g n outP
Just at this moment, my friend, I have re-
membered that you cannot be married in Mas
sachusetts, as the law
Cant? Wot in natur's the reason 1 like
her-She likes me what's ter henderp"
"You have not been published, Sir, l sus-
pect."
That's fact and amt goin' to be nuth-
er; that's the reason we crossed over into your
little Rhody,' (the scene was on the border Of
Rhode Island) on the sly, don't you see, par
son?"
"I-really-Sir" said the minister.
"R-a-e-l-l-y wal, never mind, go ahead.
'Taint fair-dont you see 'taint? You've mar
ried me and hein't fetched her Now don't
stop here Taint the fair thing by gracious
'taint and you know it,
81 will consult" said the minister, hesitat-
ingy"
"No, you won't-no, you don't. You don't
consult nothin nor nobody, until this ere busi-
7 ness is concluded"
With this he turned the key, and put it in his
pocket.
Then seizing the hand of his trembling bride,
: lie said:
, $50 on now, stranger from where you left
off; put us through and no dodging. It'll be
, all rights If it aint right, we'll make it right in
, the morning. as the sayin' is"
After rehecting a moment, the parson con-
cuded to run the risk of the informaity; so
he continued.
, "You promise, madam, to take this man to
be your lawful husbandp"
"Yaas," said the Yankee as the lady bowed.
"That you love, honor and obey him P"
"Thems EN-" said Jonathan, as the lad
bowed again.
sand that you will cling to him so long as
/ you both shall live"
"Thats the talk stick TO one another al,
lers, and the lady said ''yes" again.
"Then in the presence of these witnesses, l
pronounce you man and wife"
"Hoorahw shouted Jonathan, leaping hall
way to the ceiling with joy.
"And what God has Joined together, let nc
D man put asunder."
"Hoorah continued Jonathan, "what's the
S priceP"
, The parson hestated
h "How muchP spit it out Don't be afeared
v You did it like book. Here's v. Never
= mind the change. Send for hack, landlord
Give us your bill. Pve gut her. Hail Colum
by"
The poor fellow seemed to be entirely unable
TO control his joy ) and ten minutes afterward
!. he was on his way to the railroad depot with
= his wife, "the happiest man out of Jail" said
the eye witness who described the scene.