Sunbury American. [volume] (Sunbury, Pa.) 1848-1879, 1862-06-07
WIT AND HUMOR.
Ono of the Courting Scrapes.
BY ]. PARISH STEELE.

"llNl ma ma say, MlSter, ulu ever
tell yc bout scrapc that Sal, here, and me
got inter when we was q courtin' atorc we
was married I"
mo, believe not"
"Ha ha ha Then Imust tell you about
it, for it was
"Now, Dave, don't go and get TO tclln'
that old yarn again, for It's too bad, de-
clare TSP
"lIcld yer tater, old oman, and don't in
terupt me aforc the gentlcman--you know
every word of it is true, so you do"
mo, l don't know no such thing, so
don't"
"Wcll, os Use agoin' to say, Mister, it was
rich We all lived in old Kcntuck then, and
purity wild sort of country it was too
Plenty of bars, and painters, and Ingins, and
sich like. Why, sir, we thought no more of
killin' bar then than killin' hog now,
and you may be sure don't think much Of
that
"Wcll, as Use sayin', it was a purity wild
country. We all lived there, and old Mr.
Thatch, old Sam Thatch--Sal's dad-he
lived there too, and mortal queer old Gus
toner he was, can tell you. When he built
his house he dug hole in the side of the
hill for il to set in--the top Of the house and
the top of the hill were just even. Then,
YOU see, he didn't have to build no chimbley,
cause Why, he Jest went to work on top of
the hill to diggin hole about five feet
acro5t and he kept on a diggin' it till he
got clean down to level with the floor (;
and then he came down into the house and
dug out alfred, bouncin' big fire place,
till it reached the bottom of the hole; after
which, you sec, he was ready to fire up.
Gwen, one orful cold night in the winter,
6rtcr Sal, here, and me, we'd got things
purity well along"
''Now, Dave, do for goodness sakcs quit o
tellin' on that think I'd be ashamed on
myself, so l would !"
"Pucker up, old 'un, puckcr up till get
through, and then it'll come your turn. As
Tsc sayin', we got things purity far along
that is, I'd popt the question to Sal, and
she'd sed yes, and we'd both well nigh got
over it"
''Nor, Daver'
'And rsc agoin' to AK the old folks in the
mornin'. "
FUR shame!"
mo, not fur shame, but for Sal, though I
must own as how / felt kinder ashamed to
do it.
"Wcll, Sal and me, We was q settin' up
aforc the tire-which was orful big one,
made out'n logs-and we was a sayin' lovin'
things to one another, and luggin' and a
kissin'-"
"Dave! Davel you know that amt so
now, so you do. You know well enough
that wouldn't begun to let you kiss me
aiore we was married !"
CAS- Isc agon' TO say, we was a settin' up
aiore tue fire enioyin' ourselves purity well
1t was away late in the night"
"Shockin--sitch q man You'd better
90 fur to try to make folks think we were
oriul sorts Of people, and that wasn't nc
better nor should bin l wouldn't q sit
up away late at night with you nor any
Other young man when / was gal, to Q
saved your plagued nccks, so | wouldn't-'
sold oman, l want you to quit inter
ruptin' me when I'm takin' to the gentle
man, so do. If you don't dry up Ill tel
him all about how that time was when Bill
Towers come to your dads"
stop, now, none Of that-you hush, Dave
and will"
"lt's bargain. Well, it was away late
in the night. The old man and the ole
oman was in bed y snorin' away like sixty
and Sal and me, we was a cnjoyin' ourselves
purity well afOre a rousip' big fire.
'Scz to her, Sal, you can't begin t.
guess how well likes YEP
''Scz she to me, i spccks yer jokin, ain
vcn
"Scz I to her, 'All but that! likes "
better nor my own life. If Td see We in th,
river drowndin,' I'd jump right in anl
drown with (smacD you, 50 / would =
'ScZ she, Ono, DavCy, (smack) Iwouldn'
let yc. But | spCcts yer (smack) iokin.'
''Scz !, No indeed, I'm in cold yancst, i
ii war my last words ON yearth! | wish
may die this mennit if don't like We bettcr'l
all the rest OF the gals in the world; yes
hcttcr'n cnny thing clse If don't (smacll
tcll yc the solid truth hope the Old Scratcl
may come and carry INC away aiorc l dray
aluhCr breath =
"Thcse last words were scarcely out'n m,
mouth aiorc kcrthuntlcr came some orful
skerry, trimcnjous big lookin' thing dow
the chimbly, kcr5lattcr right inter the fire
and commenced kickin the blazin' chunk
about the room, and maxim n orlul on
earthly noise. Sal and me, we gin a coupl
of the dreadtullcst screams ever before hear
III old Kentuck, and jumpin' up lit on tn
bed right atop of the old man and the OLE
oman. and that was the last we knowd fo
minnit or twO.n
"When Sal and me, we came 10 our ser
sea we lookt up, and thar we seed her da
and her dads old blind mare, and her da
Was Il lcadin' her dads old blind mare out
the house by the forctop; and there was
orIal smell Of burnt hair in the room. Poe
old mare she'd got to stumbin around,
pickin at the green grass what the heat {
the fire had caused to grow about the top
tue old mans patent chimbley, and seem &
how she couldn't see a stim of anythn', til
first thing she slipped in; and that's a
ON it.'