Cleveland morning leader. [volume] (Cleveland [Ohio]) 1854-1865, 1862-04-23


Gets more Ghnn no Bargainsd iOF.
One week ago, Crobsugh, whose fine rooms
over Churchll1, on the Square are becoming the
center Of attraction, filled a. they ars with
" counterfeit preaentments' Of "fair women and
brave men," 4" determined TO complete his collec
tion Of the human face divine, By having on his
walls one cOuntenance which would show the
baser passions, to De used a. q contrast, at once
bold and striking, 10 the many fine faces 20 fre-
Quent among those Of his customers For this
purpose he adYertises in the Morning LEADER
for the meanest man, promising 70 give him one
Of his finest photographs, in gilt frame, iTse Of
charge.
The Artist waited for q day or two for the
'' coming man." but the man didn't come, or
rather he failed to "come to time, /" and Crobaugh
began to think that be had not advertised in the
right paper, and that the subscription books Of
the Leader were minus mean men. Musing thHs,
and wondering whether men Of that stamp have
either " local habitation" or name" In the
Forest City, suddenly, as Sylvanus Cobb, in
the New York Ledger would say, rumbling
and 4 rushing noise, one from the North and the
other from the East, were heard, and In q second
or two, couple Of doors were rudely opened,
and thai leading from the Park, usheTed in one
whose countenance bore the impress Of his mis-
sion. he was type Of sOrdid meanness-mean
In appearance, mean In dress, and mean from the
crown of his head to the POle Of his foot; of the
kind which the experienced Detectives would at
once pronounce of the petit larceny order OF
mean men. Under his arm he held, Paul Pry
like, faded cotton umbrella, and, although the
from the rain, fearful that water would inlurs 80
old and so useless an article.
If the biped who came through the passage
looked meannesJ pOr5onihed, how will pen ever
be able to produce q description Of MS more
than counterpart, who came with fearful haste
up the entrance leading from Ontario street. It
can't be done. Suffice IL, gentle reader, when
we say, that, although dTessed in the shOddiest
Of shoddy cloth and with army shoes, yet be was
we'll dressed In comparison with his rival and his
umbrella who stood confronting him. Both were
after the prize-for prize It is to pssEess one Of
CrObaugh.s Photographs, not thar either cared
partiSulariy about the picture, but then the gilt
frame and the glass was worth something. and
then, perhaps, Lucas, Hughes, Rogers Lloyd or
some olher of our Brewers might feel disposed
to buy the picture ITSELF TO exhibit at the State
Fair, to show how s man looked who never
drank their Stock Ale, An idea faint, it is true,
might be had Of the second candidate, the one
from Ontario street entrance, when we say that,
no doubt he was the same inventive genius who
fed his family on Two cents worth Of dried Ap-
piles for breakfast, gave them water for dinner,
leaving the apples TO swell for their supper
To decide which was the meanest man Of the
two became the great question, and In compari
son TO IL, The war, freeing the contrabands, the
great battle of Pitsburg Landing and the great
fight which hasn't yet come CT at Yorktown, and
viii not as long as 'all is quiet on the POtOmac"
was but as dust in the balance. Each plesd his
csse we'll, and seeming TO draw inspiration
from the rich pictures with which the walls were
covered, at times were almost eloquent.
"What was the meanest thing you ever did %
said the Artist. "YOu with the umbrella, speak
hrstlP
a. This was q borrowed umbrella - was the re-
ply. " borrowed it of q widow woman, aud l
never could find it when she sent Tor It. until one
day she got cOtohed in q shower and got q cold
and died, and now It Is mlne."
Sir !" said the Ontario street man, " ] went
with the army to Western Virginia and got
these clothes from the soldiers
Did you buy themf" asked Crobaugh.
" No stree, wasn't fool enough for that. got
m from nnl6far NH p La G,1
the rest on EN- from a soldier what was sick"
Stole them, ," said Crobaugh, in voice which
showed how hard It was TO repress the indigna-
tion he felt within.
No I only took 'em. The man who was
dead hadn't any use for 'em and the sick man
was most dead and he hadn't any use for them
eithern
Here No. l, fearing that his rival was getting
Il was contractor, and furnished shoes to
the army, and made much money By the opera
ton"
" No doubt you made money if you was cen
tractor In the army. You can pass"
g Bat" said No. 2, " have an interest In a
contract for feeding the soldiers, and bought
the proVsHOns and made ffty-thrse cents q day
on each man"
" How did you see the ADVERTISEMENT You
don't take the Leader, do youP
4" found the paper on door step, and took Il
home to read, and thought had read Il through
until as was selling dozen had got at gro
eeTy, saw the advertisement and run over TO
claim the reward"
~ - said No. /, asked the Leader folks TO
give me paper, and the boy give me an old one.
seed the advertisement, and called to get the
picture"
q Here" !" said Crobaugh, F" take the price Of the
Photograph, for Gods sunlight shall never be
used BY me 70 take the Likeness Of men who cheat
the widow, rob the printer, steal from the dead
and dying, aud deal In shoddy contracts and un-
sound provisions for the gallant defenders Of
your country. Stand not upon the order Of your
going, but 60 at once and never again show
your sooundrely faces here. I advertised for
mean men, not for such galloWs knaves as ye are.
Begone !" and the twain left In double quick
time, and Crobaugh moves on the even tenor OF
his way, blessing his stars that he is in danger
Of ever being visited by men as mean as those
who claimed 70 be the meqnest men In town"