Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1862-06-21
Fact, Fancy and Fun.

line only for FORMS sake.
Persons often lack courage to ap-
pear as good as they really are.
| Who is the shortest man mention
ed in the Bible? Knee-high-miah.
When may chair be said to dis
like you? When it can't bear you.
TALKING PARRoTs-The kind that
spoke at Fort Pulaski. "Them's 'em."
The rebel armies, at the approach
of our troops, take steps to avoid dan
GER e.~.,t.r esr5
What quadrupeds are admitted to
balls, operas and dinner-parties: White
kids.
The prosperous man, who yields
himself up to temptation, bids farewell
to welfare.
The rebel army is like an invete-
rate coquette; it backs out from all en-
gagements.
-"What did you give for that horse,
neighbor?' "My note" "Well, that
was cheap"
The rebel soldiers, though among
the 6lthiest Of living creatures, are not
hard to take.
Prentice says Lots wife would be
worth Is cts. a pound in the Southern
Confederacy.
He who has wisdom without mon-
ey is rich; he who has money without
wisdom is poor.
1t requires less strength of charac-
ter to do brave act in secret than not
to brag Of it afterward.
Norfolk was surrendered to Gen.
Wool by Mayor Lans0, and is now
governed by Gen. Vsele.
Why is a banlky horse like gen.
uine Yankee? Because it is difficult
to sell him second time.
"A sound discretion is not so much
indicated by never making mistake,
as by never repeating one.
Though love cannot dwell in a
heart, friendship may; the latter takes
less room, and has no wings.
Did the horseman WHO "scoured
the plain,'' use soap? Yes, for bis
horse was covered with lather.
The Charleston Mercury styles that
city s'the cradle Of the rebellion" The
Yankees are now rocking that cradle.
The poets or the conquerer's
wreath is poor compared with that
made for us by the encircling arms of
those we love.
The rebels at the approach Of en-
ion troops, make deserts of their cities
and field. Even their forts, if not des-
erts, are deserted.
The Richmond Whig says the
rebellion is Just beginning to assume
the most frightful proportions. It's al
ways the case that bloating occurs just
previous to death.
-sDo you know" said Yankee to
Jew, ''that they hang Jews and jack
asses together in Portland 70
Indeed, brother, then it's well you
and are not there.
Somebody who writes more truth
fully than POLITICALLY says:
Gan angel nowadays, without mon
ey, is not thought SO much of as a dey-
il with bag full Of guineas.'
Bob, you say that you believe dis.
ease to be contagious. How long have
you entertained such notions? "Ever
since / sat alongside a blue-eyed girl,
and caught the palpitation of the heart.
--"Figures will not lie" is an old and
used to be well credited saying. But
the introduction of hoops, crlnoline,
hips, bustles and cotton breast-works
has played the dickens with the prov
erb.
"A gentleman having = horse that
ran away and broke his wife's neck,
was told by neighbor that he wished
to purchase it for his wife to ride upon.
ssNo,n said the wretch, II intend to
marry again myself"
Julius, whar you get dat coat?"
"Down here to Pulls
"Whar's dat 90
"a little ways down in Brattle st.,
whar it says sPulp on de door. ] pull
ed dis coat and run out. y
-sSambo, what you tink OBJ de flu.
fur state ?'' 81 tink him a berry long
ore!,' sBut mean, do you tink de
wicked will be consigned 70 eberlastin'
| n;.orv?,' 81 dom tink no such ting.
I tink Gabriel minister de oaf and let
| 'em go"'