Semi-weekly standard. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1853-18??, 1862-06-04
For the Standard.
To Major Augustus Miltiades Lewis, Paymas-
ter of North. Carolina Tronns.

For the Standard.
To Major AUGUSTUS Miltiades Lewis, Paymas-
ter OF North-Carolina Troops.
My DEAR MAORI trust you will neither blame
or thank for setting forth your name and title in
full, so far as can for when mans name and
titles the best and most important part of him.
it becomes his friends to use such name and titles
without consulting the principal in order to give
importance to an individual who might not other
wise be considered of any importance at ALL As
my motives are very good in thus giving you prom
inence, hope to escape your censure; and 1 trust
shall not shock your proyerbial modesty by thus,
unauthorized by you, giving you the full benefit of
name and title, rdiculously elongated and grandilo-
quent as they may appear to the vulgar, the unin-
formed, and the uneducated, who seem, (probably
like yourse not to understand or appreciate titles
and who evidently have little or no respect for the
Kings English, or any body else's English.
have read your Gard, my dear Major, and it
grieves me to tell you that the fear of cards" and
the dread of their consequences upon me, in which
| was brought up, have been materially lessened-
think, Major, with all due difference to your great
name and long title, you should make cards more
Objectionable to the rising generation Did time
and space permit | could read you quite homily
upon the subject; as know might presume upon
our strong friendship to speak freely with you; but
l must at present content myself with whispering
conhdentally, in your ear, that whatever else YOU
may have learned, the tricks of cards" are evil
to the modification of being called nincompoop,
q have the authority of Brigader General Larry
OBrlen Branch for using the classic word "nincom-
poop, for attempting game you are incapable of
playing. 1t has been suggested and as friend |
recommend suggestion 10 your consideration that
pair Of cotton cards would become you better and
give you far more profitable and suitable employ
nent Remember, / do not urge this personally,
but only second the suggestions of mutual friends
with recommendation that you direct your CON-
handing talents to the mastery and mystery of the
cards named.
l was somewhat annoyed, Major, when your
"card" appeared by meddesome individuals who
contended that you had made an ass of yourself l
was determined that you should not be so sandered
and luckily struck upon an argument which nva-
rably senced such SANDER, and convinced the in
dividual that he was mistaken. This | did by Ia
king the ground that Dame Nature had executed
her work well to leave no room for you to i'm
prove upon what she had done for you in that res
pect | am fully convinced, Major and the whole
community is convinced that yOu hare not made an
ass Of yourself
You state, Major, that you are enlarged with
gross misconduct the Paymaster of North Caro-
lima Troops" Your own guilty conscience must
have preferred the charge and also convicted you.
l made no such charge. Had you improved the op-
portunities afforded you, you would have been able
in this time, to have comprehended something of
the kings English, and would have known | made
no such charge. l cannot join with those who
cuse you for not understanding the English Ian
guage; but only blame you for not improving your
opportunities Had you done so, would have said
you uttered faSehood, knowingly and wilfully;
as it is can only say you have uttered falsehood
without any Of the honors of posterity," (Uide
your speech in accepting the nomination for the
Legislature, some years ago. and spreading your
wings like those of green baytrsc,O eide your
speech before the Democratic Club you have mis-
taken, l fear, the witches of conscience for my
pinching.
In your "card" you intimate that my name was
reluctantly dragged out Of Mr.. Holden. You know,
and you can publish it if you choose that wrote
you note informing you that was the author of
the article headed, "Are These Things so ?" and
said to you, in that note: Il embodied and gave
expression to rumor-rumor so universal that l
thought it ought to be either substantiated re-
futed" 1t is true, my dear Major, that thought
saw you, "varment" of prey, up tree. l fired
into the boughs Of that tree, and surprised to
hear that not only you came down, but that my
shots scattered as to wound several others. For
this am emphatically irresponsible" for did not
know they were there. If others have made you a
"catspaw," to drag Is per cent. chestnuts out of
the fire, am irresponsible" for unintentonaly
bringing the fact to light did not wish to believe
you capable of "gross misconduct" and therefore
did not charge it; but your extreme sensitveness-
your wrath and haste-your great desire to have ME
considered an irresponsible man, all tend to shake
my confidence in your integrity.
am regarded, you say, "as an irresponsible man."
By whom, dear Major? Was it not by some one
or ones that had made you his their catspaw for
pulling out Is per cent chestnuts? Was the whole
affair to be stifed, and all investigation prevented,
by stigmatizing me las an irresponsible man -
My dear Major, you cannot play that game. Where
we are both known am willing to compare respon-
sibility with you-where not known, | object
for there you are most appreciated "lrresponsbleP
Major Lewis, it is the plea of culprit 1t is the
plea put in for rogues Indicators and murderers,
for if the witnesses be irresponsible" the criminal
escapes the Justice that should be melted out to him.
" Irresponsible" Major Lewis, hurl back the
word, emanating on your part either from vile and
corrupt heart-the offspring believe, of wicked,
vicious and guilty mind-the rotten and offensive
dregs of polluted soul; or else it comes from
base cowardice that it were honor too much to call
pusilLantmous.
The whole matter my dear Major, is in nutshell
You receive Treasury notes and pay out Confeder-
ate notes. Perhaps "Mugo Del NGye," or the
Fdkir of AU0" some else skilled in the art of
hocus-pocus has been giving you lessons for the un
Outstanding of which you have shown greater apt-
tude than for those nstructing you in the rudments
of common English. A Treasury note is taken in
the left hand-you say "prestochangei" and Ioi a
Confederate note slides out of the right hand to
soldier If 10 per cent drops between your hands
either into your lap or some elses what is that
to you? 1t only shows your proficiency in legerde-
main, and that pupil, you are an honor to your
prcceptor.