Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1862-05-28


Correspondence Of the n. Y. Sunday Mercury.
The conservatives from the border states
my boy, look upon the southern states as a
brother, whom 1t is our duty to protect against
the accursed designs of the fiendish abolition
lists, who would make this war one of blood
shed. They ignore all party feeling, support
the constitution as it was, in contradistinct-
ION to what it is, and object to any confisca-
ton measure calculated to irritate our mis-
guided brothers and sisters in that beautiful
land where
The sutton he goes to the planter so grand,
For each unto other we've plighted our loves
love her and so she loves me-
And m rried we're wishing to be-"
The planter was deeply affected indeed
such touching affection to sec:
The giving couldn't afford; but I'll sell
Says he.
'Iter mother was worth that to me-"
Which l quote from a sweet ballad recently
found among some rebel leave-ings at York
town.
These conservative patriots, my boy, remind
me Of a chap once knew in the Sixth Ward.
a high moral chap, my boy, and full of vene-
rabe dignity. One night the virtuous cuss
doing business the next door to him, having
just got big insurance on his stock. and
ton, set fire to his own premises and then
called ''Murder" on the next corner. Out
came the whole fire department, only stopping
to have two fights and Skrimmage on the
way, and pretty soon the water was pouring
all over every house on the street except the
one on fire. The high moral chap stuck his
head out of the window, and saws he: s"This
here fire amt in my house, and don't want
any noise around this here residence" Upon
this, some Of our gallant fremen, who had
just been into fashionable drinkng-shop. not
more than two blocks off, to see if any of the
sparks had got in there, called to the chap to
let them into his house. so that they might get
at the contlagration more easily. ''Never!"
says the chap, shaking his nightcap conyul-
sively; Il didn't set fire to Joneses, and l
can't have no fire department running around
my entries.
See here, old blue pills." says one of the
fremen pleasantly eff you don't let us in,
your old crib will go to blazes in ten min
utes'
But the digniied chap only shut down the
window, and went to bed again, saying his
prayers backward. would not accuse no.
bic department of violence, my boy, but in
about three minutes there was double back
action machine standing in that chaps front
entry, with three-inch streams out of all the
only half hose company killed and wounded
and the next day there was a meeting to see
what should be done with the incendiary
when he was caught. The high moral chap
was at the meeting very early, and says he
''Let me advise moderation in this here I'M
happy matter. | feel deeply interested, SAYS
the chap, with tears; ''for assisted to put out
the conhagration by permitting the use of my
house to the tiremen. | almost feel, ''says the
genial chap, ''like fellow freman myself"
At this crisis, a chap who was assistant en-
gineer, and also secretary to the board of edu-
cation, arose, and says he:
''What are yer coughin' about, old peg-top?
Didn't me and the fellers have to cave in your
door with a night key wrench-sa-a-ay?
What are yer gassin' about, then? You did a
muchnesS-you did! Yes-shghtually-in a
horn. Now" says the gallant fireman, with
an agreeable smile, eff you don't jest coil in
yer hose, and take the sidewalk very sudden,
it'll be my duty, as member of the depart
ment, to bust yer eye"
| commend this chaste and rhetorical re-
mark, my boy, to the attention of border-state
conservatives.
Since the occupation of Paris by the Mack
erel Brigade, affairs have been administered
with great intellectual ability by Captain Vii
liam Brown, who has been appointed provis-
lonal governor, to govern the sale of provis-
ions
The city of Paris, my boy, as | told YOU
lately, is laid out in one house at presents and
since the discovery, that what were at first
supposed to be Dahlgren guns by our forces
were really a number of old hats with their
rims cut off, laid in a row on the top of the
earthworks, the democracy have stopped talk
ing about the general of the Mackerel Brig
nde for next president.
The one house, however, was a boarding
house; and though all the boarders left at the
approach of our troops, it was subsequently
discovered that all of them, save one, were
good Union men, and were brutally forced to
fly by that one confederate miscreant
When William heard of the fate of these no.
BILE and oppressed patriots, my boy, he suffer-
ed tear to drop into the tumbler he had Just
poured, and says he
''Just Hevings can this be so? All" says
William, lifting bottle near by, to see that
no rebel was concealed under it, 81 will issue
a proclamation calculated to conciliate the
noble Union men Of the sunny south, and
bring them back to those protecting folds
in which our inedycated forefathers folded
themselves"
Nobody believed it could be done, my boy Z;
nobody believed it could be done; but William
understood his species, and issued the follow
ing
PROCLAMATION.
The Union men of the south are hereby in
formed that the United States of America has
re-asserted hisself, and will shortly omen a bar
room in Paris. Also, cigars and other neces-
saries of life. By order of
CAPTAIN WILLIAM Brown, Eskevire.
''There" says VILLAIN ''the human intel
leck may do what violence may fail to accom-
plish. Ali" says VILLAIN, ''moral suasion is
more majestick than an army with banners"
In Just half an hour after the above proc
lamation was issued, my boy, the hum of
countless approaching voices called us to the
ramparts, vast multitude was approaching.
1t was the Union men of the south, my boy,
who had read the manifesto of a benifcent
government, and were coming back to take
the oath-with a trfe of sugar in it.
How necessary it is, my boy, that men in
trusted with important Ommands-generals
and governors responsible for the pacfcation
and welfare Of misguided provinces-should
understand just how and when to touch that
sensitive chord to our common nature which
vibrates responsively when man is invited to
take something by his fellow man.
Scarcely had William assumed his office and
suppressed two reporters, when there were
brought before him fugitive contraband of
the color of old meerchum, and a planter
from the adjacent county who claimed the
slave
ats me,-that's Misther Murphy--would
be afther axing your reverence to return the
black crayture at once" says the planter
''tor its meself that owns him, and he runn'd
away right under me nose and eyes as soon
as me back was turned"