Smyrna times., 1862-05-01
only TO attack me.n

Claimed, as she empted tin spitoon, would
that | were tin spItoOn!' But Maria went
the way of all the earthly-one mornrag she
Was made one with the cook and as | really
couldn't love the cook though did his mutton
chops, gave her up, and
Took up the burden of life again,
Saying only, 1t ghl have been"
IL don't wonder at your skepticism as re-
CARDS sensible women, if such have been your
assecIa IONS"
"FIl no more fooIing, Ned, but really am
Ia love now"
:" Another kitchen-maid z"
The prettiest feet!''
" How much do her ankles measure 7"
"Eyes bluer than those harebells sent her
yesterday :"
We'll freckIed %
Hair that would make any living man
rave /"
"Corn-colored I"
" Lips like ripe peaches !"
9" Who is she, Tom :"
4" Her name is Nellie, the sweetest name
isn't T."
. Is she sensible I've horror of pretty
little fools"
" She can sing, dresses gloriously. and, oh
how she wul'zes; why, mao, 1t would take your
" Sing, dress, and waI,z-a pretty woman for
wife Have you common sense, Tom!"
" LIS all | care for 10 a woman; what kind
o. a wife do you want, Ned -
" want woman Of strong mind, one who
has mastered mathema tics aud the natural sci.
e"ces-who understands political economy
VINO knows everything IN history-who can
help me 10 my speeches-Whotn can refer 10
tor everything | can't know myself-who has
strong, active, powerful mind, who under
stands wOman's position and her rights"
Zone OF the real strong minded, eh I" said
Tom, shudderng.
"Yes, don't care how strong g-minded. I've
/ seen enough of these senseless doll.babies. who
can dress, waltz, aud sing. I'm going to the
other extreme-my wife shall not know how TO
dress, | wouldn't have an angel who under.
stands the mysteries of the female toilet, she'd
be sure TO be fool Mrs. Ned Grantly shall
wear the bOomer, or some other dress that no.
body else wears
/" Ye gods-ye gods can endure all this!'
VI course she will be scrawny; nobody but
scrawDy women wear that diabOlIcal costume.
/ . Ned-Ned friend of my BOSOM has it come
10 thus Will you marry a scrawny woman 7"
IL don't care a continental how scrawny size
Is detest pretty women they're invariably
/ fools, and won't have fool tell you. re.
peat It, she shall wear the boomer, and she
shall not be able TO tell Old Hundred : from
the 'Star-Spanged Banner : for a musica
woman never knows enough to tell whether
J Cork is ln Ireland, or Ireland in Cork; music
/ Is especially prohibited, also waltznr-any
man who weud marry woman who would
waltz, must be in the last stages OF simplicity
on the brain. A woman who is pretty, well
dressed, as ysu would Term il, could sing, play.
and waltz! | would rather be condemned TO
live forever in a pen OF Cabling, quacking
geese, than in the house with her What
would she talk about, do you supacse!"
"She might tell you how muc. she loved
you That's whatl calculate my wife will talk
about"
"That will do for moonsruck FOOLS I'm an
adorer of common sense, myself. wish you
much JOY of your fool, and of your wooing-as
for me, I'll have no courting"
mo courting, Ned GranIly? What demon
possesses you! Don't you wantto have a taste
of heaven on earth! Are you mad I"
Don't be insipid, Tom. When | see the
woman | want to marry, I'm going to make a
matter of business oft. | shall walk up to her
and say Madam, my name is Ned GrantIy
I'm thirty years old I'm decidedly emart; and
worth fifty thousand dollars. Do you want to
marry me!' If she says anything more than a
plain yes | won't have her then. I'll not
have her go on plling up the agony and perpe.
lratng the pathetic! No, indeed! I'll show
you sensible match, Tom Flanders"
"From all blOOmer cOsumed, strong ed
women, Ned Grantly's ideas, and sensible
matches, good Lord deliver us ~
And Tom Flanders ros. 10 his feet, kicked his
slippers across the room, drew on his patent.
feathers and coat, ran his fingers through his
hair. yawned prodlgously, settled the mosu
adorable hat upon his head, and took his ha nd.
some person off downtown, where he expected
10 meet his Nellie, "by chance-ln the usuaI
way"
A week fom this time found Tom and Ned
en- route for the country, where they proposed
spending the brolling summer season in such
amhsements as their fertile brains could invent
Oh, the fishing which they imagined unto
themseves The long, solitary rambles
The dreaming beside still waters, with roc
dangling idIV The nblee, tho biting, the
} bright specked fish! The boating, sailing
and rowing which they pictured unto them
selves! The sunlight flushing tho walters
whereon they would be floating the twilgh
settling upon il the sunset caressing it will
lis rosy fingers and the moonlight waking i
, into golden dImples!
= Moonlight upon the waters! Tom queriet
to himself ~ neither Ned ever ina gined his sen
slbIe, matter Of fact ideal beside him as they
J, aoatcd silently upon tho silver waters lii
e thought, 10 every picture which he drew. o
=. how delightful It were TO have another by hi
side and he did not believe that Ned coult
y ever bring one of his model women into drean
o by any possibility! Wonder If there was no
g a little romance IN Ned after all
& IL was pretty little village which their foot
steps sought-a shady, out-of. the way nook
which one might think would be the suprem
70 sbole of love. They had spent week there
IA without seeing anything worthy Of note, idlin
away their time in loIing under shady treet
10 bathing 10 peliucld waters, drawing forth Ion
N strings Of shining fish, aud pursuing gam