The weekly Butte record., 1862-01-18
William Browns Promotion.

William Browns Promotion.
Having Just made luscious breakfast my
boy, on some biscuit discovered amid the ruins
OF Herculaneum, aud purchased expressly for
the grand army by contracting agent for the
Government, l take sip of coffee from the
very boot in which it was warmed and hasten
to pen my dispatch.
On Wednesday morning, my boy, the army
here was reinforced by very fat man from
Boston, who said he had been used to Beacon
street all the days of bis life and considered
the State house somewhat superior to St Pc
ter's at Rome. He was a very fat man. my
boy eight hands high, six and a half hands
thick, and his head looked like full moon
sinking in the west al 5 o'clock in the morning
He said he had joined the army TO fight for the
Union and cure Of the asthma, and Col. Wob-
ert WobiHson thoughtfuy remarked that he
thought he could grease pretty long bayonet
without feeling uncomfortable. This fat man,
my boy, was leaning down to clean his boots
just outside of tent, when the General Of the
Mackerel Rrigade happened to come along and
got back view of him.
Thunderr' says the General. stopping
short, who's been sending artillery into
camp?"
There's no artillery here, my boy" says L.
Well" says he, then what's that gun car
riage doing here ?"
Iexplaned to him that what he took for a
gun carriage was a fat patriot backing his
boots
1t was with raptures, my boy, that record
the promotion of V illam Brown, Regiment 5,
Mackerel Brigade, 10 the rank of Captain,
with the privilege of spending half his time in
New York and the rest of it on Broadway
William left the Army of the Upper Potomac
10 pass his examination here, and the board of
Examiners report that he reminded them of
Napoleon and made them feel sorry for the
Duke of Wellington. One of the questions
asked him was:
Suppose your company was suddenly sur
rounded by regiment of the enemy, and you
had a precipce in your rear and twenty-seven
hostile batteries in front-what would you
do?''
ia resign my commission, and write to my
mother that l was coming home to die in the
spring time"
Sensible patriot" says the Board. " Are
You familiar with the history of Gen. Scott p
% You can bet on it, says William, smiling
like sagacious angel, Gen. Scott was born
in Virginia when he was quite young, and
discovered Scotland at an early age He licked
the British in 1872, wrote the Waverly Nov
els and his son Whaha bled with Wallace
Now old hoss, trot out your commission and
let's liquor"
pause, fair YOUTH" says the board. What
makes you think that Gen. Scott had son
named Whaha :? We never heard of that
before"
"Ha" says William agreeably, that's be-
cause you don't know poicry. Why" says
William, ' if you'll just turn to Burns works,
you'll learn
Scott's wha 'ha wi Wallace bled,'
and if that amt good authority where's your
Shakespere ?"
The Board was so pleased with Williams
learning. my boy, that it gave him his COM
mission, presented him with two gunboats and
a cannon, and recommended him for President
Of the New York Historical Society
1t was rumored in camp last night, that the
army would go into winter quarters, and
asked Colonel Wobinson if he couldn't lend
me few quarters in advance, as 1 felt like
going right away. He explained to me that
winter quarters would only be taken in ex-
change for Treasury Notes, and l withdrew
my proposition for popular loan.
ORPHEUs c. KERR.