Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1862-11-19

ln6r0 ) u QlFlLlIy IudI SHdPcS OuI
ends" as the pig remarked when he was
contemplating the kink in his tail.
A gourmand joined a social club to
which Jerrold belonged, and opened a
conversation dining. Now, nobody"
said the London Savarin, can guess what
l had for dinner to-day" The company
declined to speculate, whereupon the
gourmaad said, with an air, why, Calls tail
soup!" Jerrold-extremes meet"
WHAT invitation would be dangerous
and disloyal to a soldier? One asking
him to dinner and dessert.
They who pine" in their youth, can
never look spruce" in their old age.
PRAY. madame, what makes you look
so sedate ?"
20, l have taken a sedative."
Il tell you, wife. L have got the
plan all in my head"
Then it is all in a nut she'll"
Why isn't a milkman like Pharaoh's
daughter? Because he finds not a little
profit in the water.
The editor of a paper in Indiana wants
to know if Western whiskeY was ever
seen coming thro' the rye"
A RETURNED Californian has a right to
rest upon his ore.
WHEN is a woman as cold as ice? When
she is a scold.
Why does a cabman think it a fine day
ers it fare weather.
Why Is a poor horse greater than Napo-
leon? Because there are in him many
bony parts.
WV is a man who beats his wife like a
thorough bred animal? Because he's a
perfect brute.
Il like your impudence," as a pretty
girl said when her beau kissed her.
Why is a newspaper like a boiled crab ?
Because it is read (red).
Why is the polka like bitter beerf Be-
cause there is so many hops in it.
A poor seamstress finds it hard work to
thread her way through LIES wilderness.
May our blonde beauties be considered
as forming a portion of the pale of socie-
ty?
A pretty female artist can draw the
men equally well with a brush or a blush.
Marriage is like money-seem to want
it and you don't get it.
Most young men when whisky is at
hand make rye mouths.
$50 am told" as the church bell re-
marked when it heard of the villagers
death.
What is the most daring theft a man
public meeting.
Prentice says JEFF. Davis is the head of
rebellion, Humphrey Marshall its paunch,
and Floyd and Pillow its legs.
What is that which works when it plays
and plays when it works? A fountain.
my affairs tend downward as the oys-
ter said when about to be swallowed.
Zone of those things that no fellow can
understand The female heart.
Where is true happiness found with GER
tainty? Dye give it up? In the dietiOn-
arg!
Why is it easy to break into an old
man S mouse! Because has gait Is broken
and his locks are few.
A question for metaphysicians:-Is not
the juggler who can gorge a knife the
best man for cutting a Gordian knot,
A Maxim by aMoralizing Cook.-Every
cook should eircumnavigate the world of
kitchen literature.
An ingenious youth from the Granite
State, now residing at Denver, returned
to his lodgings a few nights since in a
state of great independence and ~erectness.
my friend, (" asked his wondering COM
panion and roommate, 'are you drunk
or sober ?"
WELL" replied the youth, with the pc
culiar digniged and oracuIar manner
which only an intoxicated person can as
sumo, ''for Pixies Peak, sober; but for
New Hampshire, pretty - drunk"