New Oregon plaindealer. (New Oregon, Iowa) 1859-1866, 1862-07-18
From the New York Mercury.
THE GIRL ON THE STOOP
B Y o. A. TON.

is great pity that Agonistes Watkins
bad not been our first parent, Adam for if
he had, he never would have bit the apple
profered by Eve so shy until the age of thir-
ty, was he ofhaving anything to do with the
opposite sex, timid and suspicious of them
and then man would not have had to earn his
bread by the sweat of his brow, but have had
deliciously lazy life, under the original dis
pensation of things, not afraid of snakes, and
all earth Paradise and Milton would not
have racked the brains of youthful readers Of
poetry by singing:
'Of Mans first dsobedience, and the fruit
OF that forbidden Tree whose mortal taste
Brought death into the world, and all our woe."
Still we confess that this, our ,sscveratier,
admits of argument. But with argument we
have nothing to do. We arc now to state
facts
The shyncss of Agonistes prevented him
from entertaining any such horrible and fool
ish notion asthat Of marrying, until he had
arrived at the age of thirty, when crash"
broke suddenly out in his soul, and changed
the order Of his being 1t was love. His ro-
mantle days began where those of others
generally end and as he commenced where
Solomon left off, and was decidedly not "sick
of love- as he had never tested it, his new
born desire caused him to think woman not
altogether such frightful and mystic crea-
ture as he had pictured her.
He "pincd in thought" for he yearned for
homo, domestic companion, a wife. Yet
how to get onc-a man of his chronic, anti
feminine associations
1t posed him. He had long been accusto1n-
ed to early morning walks, in the city park
near his residence, endeavoring to extract
delightful food for contemplation from the
gold. fishes, the fountain, the trees, grass,
flowers, and foliage generally but when the
crash" humor nettled his soul, the evil days
drew nigh when he could say he had no
pleasure in them. He turned up his nose at
the fishes sncered at the chcapness of grass
and water, considered trees only fit for fire.
wood and their shade unwholsome and scorll-
ed the lovely flowers for being emblenatical
of beauty and frailty.
His thoughts were fixed on heaven, and
woman alone as the angel who alone could
give it to him. Thus wearily pondering, the
park seats seemed hard-hard as his lonely
lot-as he sat and soliloquized, while yet the
city was cool and quiet:
wharfage is the natural state Of man. Pye
found that out. Else, what's the use of a
heart and two sexes, and where would be the
population Of the globe! What with their
own indseretions and the ignorance Of doc
tors. people are dying all the time, and un-
less something is done to replenish, the world
would soon become bowling wilderness. A
man can't expect to live more than hundred
| and fifty wears, these hard times; and what
FOOLS the Shakers are to think that the Lord
wishes to make bowling wilderness of the
world within hundred years The logic
won't stick. It is the duty of the sexes to
marry and man, out Of dclicacy, ought to
make the first advances. But then, [ am so
bashful and sensitive dread a rebuff.
might, if refused, kill myself; which would
be worse than single life. I'll propose, the
safest way will be to propose to poor girl
as her poverty would be more likely to induce
her TO accept. She would be likely to be CRATE
full. and know something about work. Gen
erous and prudent thought Even a neat
industrious girl on a door-stoop-such as ] SEE
by the dozen, washing steps and sidewalk
every morning-wouldn't be beneath my no.
tiee for admire girl who is not ASHAMED