Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1862-03-30
BUDGET OF FUN
Fresn the New York !" Vanity Fair."I
MAXIAILLIAN.

IT..
MAMMALIAN.
As those gentle and sweet-hearted Powers
England France and Spain, about extinguisng the
Mexican Republic with mOnarchic crown it is fair TO
presume that the arch-duke to whom that bauble is
Offersa is in some degree interesting to US common
people.
Mexico lies in the fact that he longer squeeze
living out OF his dukedom at home. He is person Of
more less royal blood and Napoleon takes interest
in him. 80 be must be kept up somehow other; and
hence the crusade against Mexico.
Ike 81 other celebrated men, the arch-duke is Of
Scotch decent. His family name was originally, Mac
SniIn-a very old Scottish name, which time and the
Germans have corrupted into Maximillian. His great
great grandfather knighted and decorated with tue
cross OF TIE legion OF honor for presenting ans majesty
James with gn-eOektail at the battle Of CullOden.
In early life, Maxim Ian was playmate of James
Gordon Bennett another distinguished Scot and to-
gether they used to "rn abOot the braes, an pu the
gowsss fine II is regarded a coincidence that Ben
nett should after the battle Of CulOden, have run about
the bIses while since the battle of Ma1assas he only
brays about the
As Mac smillin grew older he fell into bad company
and met with many misfOrtunes First Bennett became
enanofed Of his only ster and addressed some verses
to hen-through the columns of the New York Ledger
entitled To Mary Ann"
Haidy had young Mac recovered from that disgrace,
before he made the acquaintance of the British Lion
and thus got mixed up with that powerful but demented
family. the Hapsburgs. II is believed that he did not
entirely escape ScOtee from the popular diocy Of that
royal house.
He then went to the bad, and was well received by
Louis Napoleon but Louis Napoleon, being ashamed to
reeeive Mac in such seedy clothes his German duke
dom afforded, resolved upon giving him kingdom at
once.
Accordingly, Spain was patted on the back bostered
up on her pins punched gently in this rib, and that and
ehueed under the chin, till she became quite stately
and dgnsd In this condition of Fictitious energy she
was Informed that she must whip Mexico
90, yes" stammered poor Spain, much alarmed; Il
I'VE win back you" growled the sweet guardian
angels
And Nac SmiIn will accept the throne"
" o, yes" sobbed Spain, anything you hke-only,
So they went at it, and found Mexico all ready and
willing-tO be let alone.
Mac Smillin will never wear the crown Of Mexico.
Spain has gone wool gathering, and Ike all others
whom Louis Napoleon has befriended, she viii return
drefuIS shorn
WHISKY AS Is WHISKY"
A Richmond correspondent of the Charleston Courier
gives he following lively description of a light and
wholesome spirit now manufactured TO an immense
amountin Virginia:
1t csuterzes the mucous membrane Of the wndpipe,
sets the brain ire and sends cold tremOr through
the system The soldier who induges in a half dozen
nps is kely to stay drunk for week; and the second
or third application drives the breath out Of the body
Chaillighning and camphene- -smashes: there's tip
pie to brew tod" from! We wonder whether il does
ali the tiings enumerated when it Is diluted with water
If So we suppose that uipr Of it swallowed in a
state would couglomorate the vescles Of the aOrta,
phiogstfy the phyaeter maximus, hemistitch up the
hepatc Ducts insulate the asper1OOuS gland defAgrae
the dodian process and wilt the buttons of the waist
coat, besides doing a good many other things which it
might be tedious to specify.
A SENSITIVE PIG.
We have read a queer story in tn country papers
about very fat pig, which was so startled by lady
sneezng Suddenly its pen that broke its fOreegs
and welA straight 70 bacon This happened-Or is said
10 have Gappened-somewhere in Connecticut and the
moral to be drawn from it is this that however obnoX
ous that State has been to the rest uf the world
count Of Eastwood hams its real article Of CANNON is
by no means TO be sneezed at.
FROM BOSTON.
The Boston TraascyfBt tells Us that ''The north end
Seulpin association" held their annual festivities one
evening lsee<. and adds that ''f Cen Mcclellan had
regiment composed Of the gallant Seupns he might
make an Immediate forward movement At hrst we
puzzled about the "Sculpiu association we
generally about everything proper 20 Boston except
chowder and brown bread but the military alusion
the organization eonynees rs that the Transcript let
sip Typographical error in the paragraph, and that
'Scapa association" is the proper reading in the case
OILY ENDINGs
How unctuously these usurping potentates out,
always in the pia yed out days The great Napoleon,
at his death, reigusd a miserable Isle, and Maxi
man his nephews Protege is to be king OF the poor
Greasers
The Italian wars ridicue Cardinal Antonelli for the
great Importance be to attach to the excOmmun
eating ediets Of the reignng poqtf The cardinal is
perhaps not aware that the most powerful anathema
ever issued by A Pope was the Duneiad.
ABOUT WIG
An artist in hair, Of this city, announces article
which he calls the fluid wig"
Two correspondents inquire of Us whether the 'huid
wig is made Of canal 10 ks.
Another correspondence lady-supposes that the
hutd wig must be made Of wavy hair.
Seven other respOndents-mutfs-wish 70 be in
forned whether the head would not be likely to swim in
a "auid wig
"a Bald Man " writes, saying that the idea Of the
haid wig is nothing new, and refer. us to the old
Lastly WIN Raj
that fluid wig might produce water on the brain.
HINT FOR THE HAPsBURGS.
The millions Of Mexico are not Maxy millions and It
isprettY certain they never will be
. There is thyme like the present" as the cook
maid remarked when her young man brought her q
bunch Of that aromatic pOt-hsrb.
WAR CORRESPONDENCE LETTER FROM
M'ARONE.
GNAsHvILLE, TENN March 4.
DEAR VANITY Here all is serene
am happy.
1t is a fine thing to be a great man.
Send me money.
In short, have taken this town, and 1t Is bully
place
There be maidens-
And jewerystores----
The maidens smile, and the ewelrystores open rich.
Yours, truly. McARoEE.
P. S-LATER.-I have just been taking a walk l
go out now without brass band to march ahead
Ny staff follow the rear brought up by young lieu
ofore. He wears green gloves and leads backandtan
terrier.
The pageant is imposing.
Now willing to bet that you think the brass band
S sent to march ahead in my honor.
You err.
permit the musicians to play in front of me- order
o honor them.
And seriously, they deserve it
They have rendered me great assistance. They have
ssisted me in taking this place
And whoever renders McArone assistance immortal
zes himself
1t was on a mild but effulgent day in February The
an shone humidity upon the icy mountains and shovels
leaned against the farm fences Beautiful feathery
,ostworN trabered the glasses Of my telescope, aud
)vely cicles depended from the COWS and sheep that
animated upon thousand hills.
1 then marched Gnashville with single brigade,
eaded by this band.
The people welcomed us with coffee and cakes, and
uits. Every man who had anything to sell was en-
loyal to the Union
At Gnashville an old man came out He was faro
imp. Some relative OF Floyd, believe.
Try not to pass this cd man said the sky grows
oOmy overhead. The southern fellers is mighty
''Get out of this" was the reply
/ then entered the town. An enormous army of reb-
had a strong position in lager beer saloon They
ere determined TO conquer to die. We advanced |
circular squares with hole in the midde-a new ma
suver- and like all great modern military movements
invention Of my own
As we neared the foe, 1 saw, at a glance . nv per
ptions marvellous. that they were all educated
I'd talented men, jenHes gems fesDr such as have
ndered Tennessee famous.
The band played. 1t played selections from
Ip,thcUsG. +
Now these rebel gentlemen could have stood fire and
eel They could have stood the roar of cannon aud ,
rattle Of musketry. They could have stood storm
grape and canister, shot and she'll
But they couldn't stand the TaaRhaussy. q
The Music of the Future" Vas much for them. Ii -
as worse to their ears than the Music of the Union.
They scattered aud fed GHaslville was oursl t'
All the brass instruments of the band were rfed an
~ had tremendous range. The foe were completely .,
c ed. W hieh made il bad for the foe. =
have just learned lesson I thought / knew too "
1ch for that but was mistaken for the first time Il
my life. .
For safety, had imprisoned the rebel general, Bush
Johnson and some other pTsOnersOfwar in an open e
Dir horses by way Of courtesy Now, would you be- c,
We it, they let down the bars night week or so
o. and escapedl
This teaches never to imprson men in an open lot
ain.
from nv agents that the rebels intend to make
powerful stand somewhere down South. At any rate,
" are all taking steps, now, in that direction. OF
But we shall see.
There is one man on is continent, who can overcome
disorder and eonfus5n. The with eagle eye,
large heart the firm brain and the steady hand
IN him tbs nation looks to-daY.... 10
And he will not disak kpOinf u, Nations hopes ia
Greater than all 0fher, the Hero of Two Worlds :
wers, serene aud far above the empyrean His head
Lifted to the white cloudphantoms that float the s.