The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1862-06-06
Letter From Major Jack Downing.
WASHINGTON. April 2etb. 1862.

war moose Linkin gets up sometimes in the
mlddul OF the mite to here despatch received
by Sakratary Stantin, and as much of it as is
thought good for the health of the pepil is sent
to the papers. The other mite Lnkin called me-
fAs was very unushul for him, for he gineral-
ly tells me In the mornin ut the breakfast label,
and axes my opinion, but he sent tofme that mite
and sad that must get up and read the moose
30 went down and he showed me the des-
patch that General Mitchell got of Bowregards
Now" ses the Kernal, ''you see, Major, we've
got the raslsils in a korner They've got to fite
or run, and if they fife they're licked, and if
they run they're licked. We shall soon have
Memtlis, and that jest pens up jeff. Davis III
|irginny. You see, Major, Bowregard ses he
amt got but 35 900 troops" Ses /, s.Kernel,
let me take look at the despatch" put on
my specs and read it over twice or three times
very kcrfully, and then ses | ''Kcrnel, L don't
think you orter put crate faith i'll that. AS
Elder Doolittle used to say, 1t may be a bee
and then aginit may be a wasp That Bow
regard is CRATE feller at stratagy, and il might
be another dodge of his. And then agin, Ker-
mel, that was afore you signed the bill abolush-
III slavery in the District of Columby. AS
sure as your born that will he worth hundred
tllousan soers to jeff. Davis" ''Wall," scs
llnkin, ''let it, who cares! The truth Is, Ma
jer, we Republicans have been talkin about the
crate principle of the equality Of all men, in
Guiding lnjns, niggcrs, Chimes, and so on, and
now they want me to apply the principle, and
I'm gon to do it. l think there is some hum
bug in it sumwhere, but L don't exactly see
\ where, and as they will give me no peace, anl
Will never be satisfied cnyhow until it is dun,
I'm gon to put it thru" "Wal," ses ], "Ker.
mel, go ahed, but look out for squalls. Per-
haps,' ses |, ''you never heered the story about
Zenas Humspun applyin the principle Hope
you won't hev as bad lnck as he did" "Nor2!
ses Linkin, 81 never heered that story What
was it? "Wal," ses /, ''Zenas was good ma
tered tellcr; who lived in Downingville, and n
wonderiul-inquirin sort of q chap, alters and
forever pryin into things. If he bought n clock
he'd take it all apart with his jack nife jest to
see how it went together. So about the time
the telegraph was started and an offs was set
up in our town, Zenas was eenamost puzzled to
deth to GET the hang Of the critter as hc called
it. One day lie went TO the OILS anu aAeu rrie
ieller to show him about it. The chap was very
perlite, and explained to him the CRATE princi-
pie on which it worked, but Zenas didn't exact
ly see through it and kept akin questions and
botherin the feller till he got clean out of pash
ms. Finally ses he to Zenas, ''Perhaps you
would like to see me apply the principle" Ze-
mas sed he would, of course. "Wal,' ses he,
'then you jest take hold of the brass nobs and
stick to em tight" So Zersas grabbed hold of
them like all possessed, but he hadn't more than
fairly got hold before he lay sprawlin on the
floor. The principle had knocked him clean
over. Now, Zcnas was terribul tcller to
smoke, and alters carried his pocket full of Id
sifer matches to lite his pipe with. 1t so hap
pened that he had Il hull box full in his coat tail
pocket as he kecled over on tho floor, and as he
fell they scratched agin one another so strong
that they all got afire. 1t warnt but little
while before Zenas's coat tail was all blaze,
and before it could be put out had burnt an
awful big hole in the seat of his trowsers, and
scorched him thereabout amazinly. Zcnas ye-
led and holered awful, and sed he didn't want
to know enything more about applyin the prin-
ciple. 'Now," ses /, 'sKcrnel, l hope you won't
hcv as bad luck as Zcnas did, but depend ont
this applyin principles You don't exactly under
stand is dangerous business. IF you don't get
burnt somewhere it will be wonder"
"Wal," ses Lnkil, ''Majer, you are cute
chap in telling story, but now tell me, do you
think the nigger and the white man didn't come
from the same parent?" ''Now," ses l, Ker-
mel, that's akin deep question. You see its
onpossibul to tell what the Cltator may have
done. He might have made only one kind OF
man at fiist, and then altered their constitu-
sllins, and complexions, and brains afterwards.
You see everything is possibul to the Creator.
Or the ngger may have come from Ham, who
raJ fn,b u;n hntt thpp |
that it is enything agin the scriptoors to believe
that all the kinds of men were made at the be-
ginnin Jest as they are now. But it don't make
eny difference how they cum so, so long as they
are different. You can't eny more make a
white man out Of a-rigger now than you can
breed lion out of n pole cat. You see, its
clar agin nature to expect to make the Niger
anything but Niger You can't get q peach
out of crab-apple, nor pumpkin out of a
watermelon, nor eagles out of ducks eggs.
You can't raise chickens from egg-plants, or
produce goslins from gooscberries. You see,
Kernel, everything in nature must 60 according
to nature. If the niger had been intended to
be equal to the white man, he'd been made just
like white man, and the very fact that he amt
made so, is proof positive that hew warn't inten-
dcd to be put in white mans place. Iryn to
make a nigger act like a white man is just like
old Sol Hopkins, one year Harvesting his off OK
and his horse together to plow corn. The OK
was lazy as he could be, and the hoss was q
young, high-strung animil, and such pullin
and haulin team you never did see. 1t almost
killed both. You see il was workin agin natur.
1t was tryin TO make a boss an OK, and an OK
a hoss, neither of which things can be did. You
see, Kernel, ere,yt''iag ~ nat~ mast go accor-
ding to nata'."
"Wal," ses Linkin, ''there is a good deal in |
what you say, but then the pepil don't believe
it. They think the nigger was only Accidentally