, 1862-12-04

A cOquette is female archer, who first bags
and then sacks her game.
Young women oflen keep their lovers by tears.
love, like beef. Is preserved BY brine.
Courtship is the engagement or siege; proposal
is the assault, and maIrmOny is the victory.
"I do not say" remarked Mr.. Brown, that
Jones Is a thief; but | do say that IL his Am
joined mine, I would not try to KEEP sheep"
"The sun is all very we'll" said an Irishman,
" but It Is my opinion that the moon Is worth two
Of il; for the moon affords light in the night time,
when we really want it,"
"Can you tell me how the word saloon is spelti
asked Philadclphian Of cockney.
Certainly" said the LOndOneF with look Of
triumph; "theres hess, and hay, and hell,
and two hoes, and hen."
At wedding. recently, when the officiating
priest put to the lady the question, a. Wit thou
have this man to be thy welded husbandr she
dropped the prettiest curtScy, and, with modesty
which lent her beauty an additional grace, replied,
" II you please"
The pompous epithet Of q clOsefsted citizen
closed with the following passage Of Scripture
lie that givcth to the pcOr lendeth to the Lord
"Dat may be sO." solilo1uizrd Sambo, "but
when dat man dies, de Lord didn't owe him RID
cent"
asit not astonishing" said wealthy individual,
" that large fortune was LET me BY person who
had only seen me Oncef"
ait would have been still more astonishing" ,"
said wag, "if he had left Il to you after seeing
you twice"
A little fellow, weeping most piteously, was
suddenly interrupted by some amusing occurrence.
He hushed his cries for moment-the train Ol
thought was broken.
"Ma," said he, renewing his sniflle, and wishing
TO have his cry out, Ma-ugh! ughl what was
I crying about, just now!"
"Dang me II don't believe this world Is a
wheelbarrow," said jolly inebriate, as he rolled
along the pavement, and I'm the wheel revolving
on tie haxis. Now Tn In the mud" said he, as
he rolled headlOug into gutter, " and now I'm on
dry land" as he fetched up on the curbstOnc. His
concluding remark, as his boots followed bis head
down an open cclarway, now the wheel Is broken
and the vehicle Is out Of repair"
A steamboat passenger, missing his handker
chief, asked an Trishman if he had seen IT, and in
sinuated a charge Of theit. But aftCrwartl, fnd.
irg his pocket companion in his hat, he began to
apOl6gise.
WOR, don't be after making an apology" said
The Ifishman; II was q mere mistake, and on
both sides, too. You took nc for a thief, and
took yOu for gentleman"
"Na," the other day said little girl who had
scarcely entered her teens, " ma, maint get mar
ricd 7"
"Why child" said the anxious mother, I" what
upon earth put that notion in your headr
cause all the other girls arc getting married
as fast as they can, and want TO, too"
"Well, you must hot think Of such thing
don't you ever ask me such a question again
Married, indeedi ] never heard the like"
swell, ma, if l caf't have husband, maint
have piece Of bread and butter!"
-we " IA. Ann have you consented to be the wife
aNo, Sally, didn't quits c6tsent:h',
aWhy uoti think be loves you"
aYeS, but be didn't pile % thg agony high
enough. When give my hdhd 10 dwo5ef, / want
him 70 call upon the gods TO witness bic deep dc
votion % me. want him to kncd d my Ret
take one Of my hands between both Of his and
with a look that would melt dn adanlantine focl
70 pity, bog me 70 tala pity on bis suerings; and
then want him 10 end By swearing TO blow hii
brains out on the spot h do not compassionate
bis su6erings."