Rutland weekly herald. [volume] (Rutland, Vt.) 1859-1877, 1862-11-20
o-.nsu. q. Kerr on the Elections.

Il. L..
%, NV how has electrified everybody eX-
cent our Honest Abe, who sun goes ABOUT s'hl7
Ing like long and aimable sexton, ana con
Times TO save our distracted country after the
manner of an honest man. On Tuesday night
a b;oh moral Democratic chap OF much watch
seal who had Just received dispatch all about
,be election, went to see the Honest Abe for
the express purpose of telling HIM that the
Democratic marty had been born again, and
r,os on the point of protesting against every
,hnS whatsoever, except the Constitution of
sn 6reh,hers. He found Honest Abe crack
ing some walnuts before the fire, my boy, and
says he; .... 10 Al
,,The celebrated Democratic organization, of
which am Assistant Engineer has carried
the State Of New York in a manner impossible |
10 express. and viii now proceed TO demand Of
YOU vigorous prosecution ofthat unnatural
Strife in which are involved our lyes,our hber
ties, and the pursuit of happiness. "We adj
mire TO see your harmless honesty" says the
chap blandly, "and We believe you to be a
tried egg but we protest against the arbitrary
arrest of men which is patriots, only conserva-
ti~ely Democratic; and we muat insist upon a
prosecution of Constitutional hostilties against
our misguided brothers who are now offering
irregular opposition to the government"
The Honest Abe cracked walnut, and
says he: "You say, neighbor, that the organ
cation still insists upon vigorous prosecution
of the war 2" aH sb s7u
The Democratic chap sliced a tooth pick
from the chair with his knife, and says he,
"That is the present platform on which we
are T. plaribus uaum.
'sWell, says the honest Abe" believe that
YOU mean well but am reminded OF a little
story.
sWhen was practising law out in Illinois"
says Honest Abe, twisting the bow OF his black
necktie around from under his left ear, "there
was an old cock with two sons, living near
me in tumble down old shanty. He lived
there till half his roof blew of one windy
night, and then he concluded to move TO a new
house where the chimney didn't take up all
the upper story. One day when he moved,
he'd got most all his traps taken to the other
residence, and had sent one of his sons TO see
that they were all got safely indoors, when
suddenly shower commenced to come up
The old man and his other offspring, who had
STAYED to hurry him, were taking up carpet
from the floor when the first dose of thunder
cracked. and the offspring says he, "Hurry
up, old crazy bones, or we'll be ketched IN the
freshet before we get up this rich fabric" The
stern parent needed the admonition, and went
ripping away to the carpet around the edges
of the room. until he came near where the off
spring was standing, and there it stuck. DE
pulled, but it wouldn't come, and he says,
saws he: s''Pears to me that dod rotted tack
must be a tenpenny malt holds on so. You
see, the old screw was very blind without his
specks,' says the honest Abe, buttoning up
vest askew and couldn't see Just where the tack
was Another peal of thunder at this moment
made the irascible offspring still madder, and he
saws, saws he, "Ycu misabul old cripple, IT
YOU don't hurry up, we'll be ketched, tell
youp As he made this dutlful remark he
went stamping to the window, and at the same
moment the cantankeraus old tack came out,
and the aged parent went over on his back
with the carpet up to his chin. He got up and
busted, and saws he: 'Well, now, that IS Gu
rious-how student II went Then he pro-
ceeded to rip away again until he came near
the window, and there it stuck once more
the wild offspring saw him tugglng away
again, and il made HIM so wrathy that he says,
saws he: .Why yoa cooked old sinner you,
WHY in thunder didn't you take out the nails
Its enough to make me weep atresh for the old
woman, 10 see how you-hBut he didn't finish
his sentence for. as he walked toward where
the hammer Law, the tack came out, and the
old 'un went TO bed again under the carpet
Up sprang the sad parent again, splitting rags
and he saws, saws he: well now how curl
ous---that it should come so student! STU
on he went, till the carpet was all up from
around the edges but when he tired to drag
it away on his shoulder, it was fast somewhere
yet.
R-r--rum bum boom went the thunder
and saws the Infatuated offspring, says he $
well. | never lid see such a blunderln OLD
dad as you be. Well he ketched In the ram
as sure as grasshoppers; and all because yor
didn't take my advice about the hammer II
the first place. The poor old 'un tugged, anc
pulled, aud painted, and says he: well, now
that is curious, swan TO massey. There
can't be no tacks way out in the middle OF tn
floor, can they 2 To make sure, the old bllno
pate was going down on his knees to take
mouse-eve view, when all of a sudden he gave
start. and he says, says he: why, pears Il
me- Sammy, you're q standing on the caTpe
yoarseIfp And so he was--so he was, say
Honest Abe, smiliun into the fire, and tina
was the reason why the carpet had stuck tas
in so many places"
"Now,,' says the Honest Abe, poklng tn
Democratic chaplin the RIBS with his knuck
les, "if your organization wants me to NOV
vigt rously in this war, tell them not to b
standing on my carpet all the time. Other
wise, must keep still lacking about"
s. The Democratic chap had heen slowly ris
ing from his chair as this moral tale drew tow
ard an exciting conclusion, and at the last wor
he fed the apartment with quivering watch
SEAL ---a.s3 r1.. s7sgg
The Emancipation ticket has succeeds