The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1862-02-07
THE WEEKLY PIONEER AND DEMOCRAT
to us the old Bible saying, that all aesh

to US the old Bible saying, that all hesh
s0asgrGss.'
When said this, Mr.. WIS face and nose,
both of them, turned blue all over, like what
had read in Sam. Slick, about the people
of Nova Scotia, who he called Blue No.
ses," and says he:
"Look here, old cabbage head what a
contumacious old fool you are making of
yourself, by meddling with what you never
can know anything about Why don't
you attend to your turnips, and potatoes,
and pigs, at..home, instead of bothering your
head about the public institutions of the
State, and writing letters to newspapers
concerning purely literary and scientific
speculations, which zoe, philosophers and
learned authors, have produced, solely for
the intellectual world 2 see," said he,
taking up copy of the St. Paul Press,
"that you, in this paper, have had the auda>
city to undertake criticism on the writings
of my friend and colaborer in science-the
learned A. Classy. 1t is not to be wonder
ed, after this, that you had the presumptu'
GUS stupidity to attempt to read and I'm.
derstand the results of my lucubrations."
This set me back some, but, on coming
to little, 1 took up the newspaper, and
there, sure enough, was my name signed to
such mess of trash as wouldn't feed to
my hogs; letting alone putting of it into
paper. There it was, trying to initiate one
of my letters to you, and all about "ani-
mails in which all the parts are arranged in
q succession of articulote Joints, along lop-
gitudinal axis" and such like. Now, it
made me ALFRED mad to see this fraud went
and done on my name, and l plainly see who
had done it. So l up and said, at once:
"Sir! this here is forgery! got up by
you to ridicuIe and make fun of me-!
don't pretend to know what you mean by
this stuff about animals with articulate
JOINTS except that you mean yourself, or
the big words in your book though, sup
posing it is the latter, 1 should say the
critters 'articulate joints was cussedly out
of jointp
But when l saw that he went on to try
and slur our Academy at Sawyersville, by
calling of it a asylum for decayed editors.
I solemnly denied the charge and told him,
more than that, that had never edited the
st. Paul advertiser, nor no such paper; and
that didn't see but why our institution
wasn't as proper place for decayed editors,
as Bureaus on Statistics was, with salary
of thousand dollars year! l told him,
moreover, that he needn't deny of writing
this stuff in the Press because we farmers
had a way of telling jackass from horse,
and that his long words answered just as
well as long ears, for that purpose. 1 told
him that as for bis book, I'd write about
it just as much as l pleased; and that, by
the aid of Providence and my new diction-
airy, I'd read the a0hole on it through, from
beginning to end, if it killed me
When said this, he turned round to his
desk, and went to spelling out and writing
away at long word, which he sawed it off
several times at the edge of the paper, and
kept tapping of it over onto new lines, till
he finally got it all down on the same sheet,
and then drawed a long breath, as if hewas
tired. Which I didn't blame him. But 1
cut him shorter than that, and went down
to the International (which my room, it is
23O, and is about as good hotel as they
make them,) to write myself down.
Your most humble, obedient servant,
ZEBULON SAWYER.