Smyrna times., 1862-05-01

'" ~ N"Shi WIZ SCNtibS dothOi oOAOu W ehC
country, nut utunwIliug 10 confess It 20 the other,
when one morning Tom electrified himself and
his sleepy companion by Jumping some ten feet
high, aud exclaIming, III a voice OF trumpet
sound:
BY Jove there she is!"
Who y exclaimed Ned, exctedly. "M ss
Popkns or Susana Potlphbr, or Jane Wilkins,
or Matilda Spthre, Lyta IRE, or the yacht
boat Marla-whlch, wA!c. aud where 2"
There she Isl" repeated Tom, jumping
higher than ever.
Who you madman-WhO !"
There she goes Look quick-quick ! for
Heavens sake!"
Tell me who you mean, or III collar you !
Is 1t the Queen of Sneba, or old mother Hub
bard! Anewer!'
." YcurwIte-yOur future wife, Ned-your
'deal-yOur model Run after her quick, Sc.
cure her, and get her patented. Rum
Ned said one of the words which certain
clergymen sometimes US, and walked to the
window.
There she was, sure enough, in full regimen.
tails, and as large as life, il not little larger.
Six teet in height, and with the foot of a slab,
she was naturally rather cOnsp clous IN her ap
pearrnce; and In her present outfit she was
more than usually likely 10 be the observed of
all observers. Her hair was black, and cut
after the manner OF men; and eyes were very
red-prooaby with mncn burning ot the mid
night oil. Her complexion was swarthy, and
her mouth of more than the usual size. Alto.
geiher, she had not more natural beauty than
the law allows. But this would not huve been
so much remarked had 1t not been for the pe.
cularlties of her style Of dress. She wore a
lIght-blue dress which reached to her knees,
and Icgglngs OF the same material. Her enur.
nous feet prOtruded from beneath these, with
large flat CATERS, minus the heels, covering
them She wore a louse sack for an outer gar.
ment, and some sort of nondescript hat crown.
ed all. She travelled along with huge str ,des,
and seemed 10 be posting bills about The
village.
Zone sensible-looking woman" quoth Ned,
glancing with half.suppressed nirth and vexa
ton at the halfconvulsed Tom, who was roll.
Ing upon the flour in ecslasies of laughter.
Don't praise her with such III grace, Ned
She's undoubtedly the one you've been looking
for. Run after her and begn. Ifyov've for
gotten the form Of words. conjure them to VOC
Madam, my name is Ned Granlly; I'm thirty
years old; decidedly smart; worth fifty thou.
sand dollars. Do you"
"Silence or by the ghost of your departed
sins, I'll choke you
Well, but she's sensible woman"
"IVe no doubt of it. | shall improve the
first opportunity Of making her acquaintance
But I've told you these twenty years, I'm not
marrying man.
What an interesting conversation you vii
have with her on the history Of antediluvians
Almost any one would enjoy sensible con
versation after having you for a companion q
week."
Here she comes ~
And Tom jumped again, and tell back on the
floor in another fit.
'Scrawny! | vow she is scrawny-I knew
she would be scrawny. Ifyou marry her, Ned
! you'll allow me TO embrace her little once il
a while, won't you? Such treat! Androme
da Barebones-thars her cognomen. I've ne
| doubt che would change 1t for GranIlY -
Ned tore himself out of the room ln a ra ge
and walked off down the street, feeling like ,
consummate donkey-morally certain that ht
ought TO admire this strong. minded woman, bu
Just as certain that he didn't.
The gentlemen were presented to her at din
ner.time-Sophronia SpIggot-the famous lee
turer upon " The supposed origin of the race o
Polywogs. considered in reference TO geolog,
and metaphysics"
AS Tom was near, to note down any want o
admiration and Difference which he might b,
guilty of, Ned entered Irto conversation will
her, with the greatest apparent interest and en-
joyment, aud did not evInce the slightest DISCUS
at the masculHilies Of her talk, or the pro
greSSiUe nature OF her opinions.
After dinner, she still pursued them, too wei
pleased to find listener to her " cackings -
as Tom ungallanIly called them-to give then
up easily.
Tom made his excuses, and fed but, th
whole eternal afternoon, was Ned doomed l.
! listen TO her lITades against the weaknesses O
her sex. THIS was one OF her hobbies her as
piraIiOn after all the rights of man-whIch Wa
another. and her holy hatred of loblcco in al
! its fOrms-eVen TO those splendid Havanas
which Ned so especially affected. which wa
another Of her stronghods. She really had n
opinions outside of this little circle, If we ex
cept a penchant for cold water, her passion fu
Graham bread, and IItte smalterng of III
science of phrenoogy.
Ned's acute mind soon saw the whole scop
Of her intellect, aud could not help allowin
that he knew scores of women who did not pre-
tend TO cry out against the ignOra nee of other:
and go around crying, like a voice in the vii
derness, for their benefit, who possessed
thousand fold more intelligence, general infor
nation concerning science, literature, and arr
than this one, who gained the name of - in
telIlgent" simply by pecuiarities and decla
nation.
Long ere Tom came home, and 10 mere
called him out Of the room, Ned was thoroUg hi
disgusted, aud ready to fly, for rellei, fror
such a woman, to the varlest fool in existence
Not so did be talk to Tom, however. lie ex
patiated upon the " feast Of reason" the " lo'
Of soul " which he had e0joyed. lie remarke
how noble o thing it was to see one woma
freed from the shackles Of custom, and asser
ing her own independence and individuality
; He talked of compa nIonshIp for the mind etc
until Tom really began TO link his poe
friend had lost his senses. aud began medits
ting upon how to get him to an asylum b
straiagem.
But, in the meantime, Ned's eyes were ou,
, the window, and fixed intently on pretl
figure who was approaching.
, A young girl, of slight, but almost nOjes,
: form, and with oil the grace ofthe queenly ella
|, was walkiRg up the street toward the hote
~ l.