The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1862-02-07
o,W nAsxET' OF Cnips.

Fanny Fern's fsiling--ShO,s lh-fern.
ally soucy.
The Aboliiionist's ophthallnia.--colss-
blindness.
Advice TO SkOt,rs.--FOstcn your skates
with a slip-knot.
Brush ! out---The sccesh vcrmin from
Hilton's Head.
The most contemplate Of all Times
scrvers.--w. II, Russell.
a good place for repairing OgeOdregi-
mentsls,--Durnstown.
Why is a thriving tradesmab like ieei
Because he is solvent
"Aromatle Vinegar. ."-"Rhne Winc,,
with SchweilErr kssel
Why is horse the mos. wretchod Of
animalsl Because It r, joices In wo.
When Is n mun thinnet than a shingle.
Ans.--When he il = shaving.
The Chiv vOlry naturally make poor
show now their Pomrs arc cdeparting.
I What word may be pronounced quicker
by adding syllable to itl-Quisk.
A promising young man may do very
well,rerhaps-a paying one much better
"Oh for lodge" &c.--Ex ambassador
Mason wished 10 become a JTesmason.
] why ought Paupcrs To b, ingeaiouai
Because Nee, salty is the mother Of ln-
vention,
I The good mans lifr, like the mountain
top, LOOKS beautiful b,c,uss II IL n,br
heaven.
jeff Davis will get his dessert before
he takes dinner at tine White House in
Washington.
The Longest Ldsgh on Record: Gilca
, Scroggin's when he laughed from ty)ear
To tY)cOr.
Yuucey's speech at Fishmopgers' Hall
I-ARoHadoriRg affair wituut shddder OF
truth in il.
Wanted--A key to fit the lock Of a ca
nal.
} Moving fora new trial---copring a SEQ
ond wife.
The most appropriate cram for bring
ing of the South Carolina eohirabaEds.--
Serf boats, of courSe,
The rebels are down on their natural
hrothcrs, having lately robbed lunatic
ylum in Missouri.
STUPID people may cnt but shouldn't
talk Their m Iuth will do well enough Us
I banks Of deposit, but not of issue.
. Five hundred dollars reward IL offered
I v Yankee Notiois for ne wspupyr coz
0 respondent who corresponds With the
truth.
. why is "WoodInln Spare that Tree"
like the American Champion' (Dont all
A speuk at onco.) Because It's Mouris-sey.
II has been a habit Of the London
Times never to publish the arguments OF
an opponent nor to rctract fnlshools of
its own,
A Change for the old Ships Of tho
Stone Squadrun.-From Whaling up the
: Northern Seas to Sealing up the South
e ern ports.
I The Louisville Journal says that tho
n dischurge of cur duty at tho prcscnt time
G involves ,he discharge OF cannon aud
small arms.
/. Why are people who 81, ON ffec seats
! not likely to derive much benefit from go-
ing to church, d, cause they got good
for nothing.
"Toby, what did the Isrealites do after
u they crossed the Rcd Scef'
ToLy-"I don't know, ma'am, bot CESS
n they dried themselves"
II "Tcll your mistress that I'vc torn the
8 curtain" said u lodger to the servant.
e every well, sir, mistress win put it
:, down as extra rent"
The" "open space in the rear" over
e which the insensble-to.fear gentlcmo n
lscampered from Fort Walker, is hence
forth to be known as RuHny- Mead
We hear Of stealing kiss. But why
should lady charge gentleman with
stealing what she didn't have till he gave
N il to her--the gift being the very thing
X she calls theft,
Quoth Saith to Jones. at really ia a
y sin you do not gvt your house fenced in"
J, Quoth Jones, You're wrong; the place.
y is fenccd--coDfound III My wife Is all tho
! time railing around it,"
n A woman who recently had her butter
If, . lied by tho clcSk of the market FIR
i short weight, gave as u reason that tho
COW from which the butter was made was
l. subject to cromp, and that caused the but
!. ter to shrink in weight.
S al say, Bob, you have bceR 10 Canton
i haven't youP
i "Yes,"
"Well, con you speak ehnul"
eyes, little~that is, speak broken
i China"
A lady in Rhode Islsrd, who has a b., o,
= ther who was in the battle OF Bull Run,
on being asked what posisi n he occupied
n in the army at that trying time, replied,
n with proud nod Of the kead, that he was
the driver OF al aralanche.
$ q very tall man was in the streets of
d Boston, when an old lady, who admired
his gigantic stature, thus addressed him,
Mister, were YOU large when you weEs
. smalll"
.'Yes, marm, was considerable big
: when was little"
The editor Of the Toronto Leader, hay
! ing boen writing iRsqlcnt and warlike arr.
!, ticles against the United States, the
y business men OF the place have hold A
! meeting, ard, by formal demand, bad him
! removed. The tone Of public senlimeat
in Canada Is yisbly softening,
I FASHION. st
A wAY 10 dress,