The Goodhue volunteer. [volume] (Red Wing, Goodhue County, Minn.) 1861-1864, 1862-05-21

RED WING, G00DHU1
"My poor patient has a. cold in his
head and his life depends. perhaps, on
the qualification Of his wishes. You
have heard him ask for his grandmoth-
err" says the surgeon softly, "and as
his grandmother lives too far away to
be sent for, we must practice little
harmless deception: We must send
for Secretary Welles, Of the Navy De-
partment, and introduce him as the
grandmother. My patient will never
know the difference"
/ took the hint, my boy, and went
after the Secretary, but the latter was
so busy examining a model OF Noah's
Ark that he could not be seen. HS p
ipily, however, the patient recovered,
while the surgeon was getting his saw
filed, and was well enough last night
to reconnoitre in force.
Tho Mackcral Brigade being still in
quarters before Yorktown, / am a,
leisure to stroll about the Southern
Confederacy, my boy: and on Thurs
day paid a visit to Cotton Seminary
Just beyond Alexandria, where the
Southern intellect is taught to fructify
and expand. This celebrated institu-
ton of learning is on one floor, with a
large chimney and a heavy mortgage
upon it, and number Of windows sup
Piled with ground glass-or, rather,
supplied with a certain opcnncss as re.
, CARDS the ground.
Upon entering this majestic cdi6ce,
the master Prex Peyton, descended at
once from the barrel on which he was
seated, and gave me true Virginia
welcome:
"Though you may be Lincoln
hordc,' says he, in a manorial manner
''the republic of intellect recognizes
you as a man. The Southern mind
knows how to recognize soul, apart
from it's outer circumstances; for what
say the logicans? Deus est aninea bru-
, torena! Take seat on yonder barrel,
friend Hcssian, and you shall hear the
"iSuOItI VI SOul'AuI ul'uNH. IL SO IAsse'
in computation stand up!"
As I took a seat, my boy, the first
class in computation came up to the
, front; and it is my private impression
my bov-my private impression-that
each child's father was the owner of a
rag plantation al some period of his
life.
"Doys," says the master, "How is
the table Of Confederate money divl
ded ?"
: "Into pounds, shillings and pence
"Right, Now, Master Mason, re-
!, peat the table"
:: Master Mason, who was n germ Of
l a first family, took his fingers out of hi:
=, mouth, and says he:
: ''rwenty pounds of Confederate
Q bonds make one shilling, twenty shil'
,, lings make ono penny, six penles ono
l drink"
i "That's right, my pretty little cher,
ubs," says the master. "Now. 60 anc
take your seats, and study your bowie
. knife exercises. Glass in geograph,
: stand up
0 The class in geography consisted 0
one small! Southern Cenfederacy, my
: boy, with taste for tobacco.
s "Master Wise," saws the master con
fidently, ':can you tell us where Afric:
: %
: Master Wise shifted Intelligent!
and says he:
$ "Africa is situated at the corner o
S Spruce and Fassau streets, and il
It bounded on the North by Greely, 0,
e the south by Slavery, and on the cas-
S by Sumner, and on the west by Love
,, JOY"
q every true, my bright little fellow,
says the master; snow go back to you
e chawing."
=. "You see, friend Hessian," says'ih'
u master turning to me, show much su
IS perior Southerners are, even as chill
l. drcn, to the depravcd Yankees. l,
my teaching experience, Ihave know1
J. scholars only six years old to play po
o ker like old members Of the church
3 and pupil Of mine euchred me one
in ten minuter."
:: I thanked him for his courtesy, an
u / was proceeding to the door, when
IS observed four boys in one corner, wit
their mouths 50 distorted that the
y seemed to have subsisted upon a die
% of persimmons all their lives.
"Vcnerable pundit,'' says in aston
N ishment, chow came the faces of thos
ot offspring 50 deformed %
Of "Oh!" says the master complacen,
fs ly, that class has been studying Ca,
$. lyle's works.
OF I retired from Cotton Seminary, m
ar boy, with a firm conviction of th
. ability Of popular education, and
IN hope that the day might come when
Ia Professorship Of Old Sledge would b
created in the New York Universit,
Yours for a higher civilization,
,t-I ORPHEus G. KERR.
y ~ y Mercury.
Gen. Scott. Opinion Of Generals Nc
K. Cte3lan and Hail OK.
~ On Saturday succeeding his return to b
=, old home in Elizabeth. Y. + the veter,