The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1862-03-12
WHOLE NO. 282.

ing black valise. Their respective com
panions walked with hasty, irregular strides,
were abstracted, and apparently ill at ease
The party stopped.
"This is the place." said Captain Jones.
EYES," said DR.. Smith.
The Captain and the Doctor conferred
together. The other two studiously kept
apart
Every well. I'll measure the ground,
and do you place your man."
1t was done.
"Now for the pistols" whispered the
Captain to his fellow second.
''They are all ready, in the valise," re-
piled the Doctor.
The principals we're placed ten PAGES
apart, and wearing that decidedly uncom-
Portable air man has who is in momentary
expectation Of being shot.
"You will fire, gentlemen, simultaneous
ly, when give the word," said the cap
tain. Then in an undertone, to the Doc
tor. "Quick, the pistols!'
The Doctor, STOPPING over and fumbling
at the valise, appeared to find something
that surprised him.
"Why, what the devil"
What's the matter?' asked the Cap
tain, striding up. Can't you find the
capS?"
deuce pistol or cap, but this ~
He held up lady's night cap!
/ Look here-and here - and here ~ hold
ing up successfully hair-brush, long,
white night. gown, a cologne bottle and a
comb.
They were greeted with long whistle
bv the Captain, and blank stare by the
two principals.
"Confound the luck ~ calculated the
Captain, If we haven't made a mistake,
and brought the wrong valiser'
The principals looked at the seconds
The seconds looked at the principals. No
body volunteered suggestion. At last
the Doctor inquired
"W ell, what's to be done p
Odd unlucky ~ again calculated the
Captain. The duel can't 60 on"
Evidently not responded the Doctor,
''unless they brain each other with the
air-brush, OR take apop at each other with
the cologne bottle"
''Iou are quite sure there are no pistols
in the valse ?" said one of the principals,
with suppressed eagerness, and drawing
long breath Of evident relief
eve might 60 over to the city and get
pistols" proposed the Captain.
"And by that time it will be dark, said
the doctor.
"D-d unlucky" ~ said the Captain
again.
ave shall'bathe laughing stock of the
town," consolingly remarked the Doctor
''.f this gets wind"
"One word with you Doctor" here in.
terposed his principal.
They conferred.
AT the end of the conference with his
principal tho Doctor, advancing to the
Captain, conferred with him. Then the
Captain conferred with his principal Then
the seconds conferred with each other
Finally, it was formally agreed between the
contending parties that a statement should
be drawn up in writing, whereby Principal
No. rendered the assurance that the often
sive words, "You are liar" were not used
by him in any personal sense, but solely as
an abstract proposition, in a general way,
in regard to the matter Of fact under dis
putc. To which the Principal No. 2 ap-
pended his statement Of his high gratitica-
ton at this candid and honorable explana-
ton and unqualifiedly withdrew the often
sive words, You are scoundrel," they
having been used by him under misap-
prehension Of the intent and purpose of
the remark which preceded them.
There being no longer cause Of quar-
rel, the duel was of course ended. The
principals shook hands, first with each
other, and next with the seconds, and were
evidently very glad to get out Of it.
And now that it is so happily settled"
said the Doctor, shuckling, and rubbing
his hands, sit proves to have been lucky
mistake after all, that we brought the
wrong valise. Wonder what the young lady
that owns it will say, when she opens ours
and finds the pistols?"
"Very well for you to laugh about"
growled the Captain, "but it's no joke for
me to lose my pistols. air,triggers, best
English make, and gold-mounted. There
aren't finer pair in America.
"Oh, we'll find 'em. Wen go on pill
grimage from house to house, asking if
any lady there has lost a nightcap and
found pair Of duelling pistols"
cPArTER ".
In very good spirits the party crossed
the river, and inquired at the baggage room
in reference to each and all black leather
travelling bags arrived that day, took notes
Of where they were sent, and set out to
follow them up. In due time they reached
the Continental, and, as luck would have
it, met the unhappy bridal pair just coming
down stairs in charge of the policeman.
wv hats all this?' impaired tho Captain.
ooh, a couple of burglars, caught with
a valise full of stolen property"
"A valise what kind of a valise? p
"A black leather valisc That's it there"
"llere Stop Halo Policeman =
Landlord! It's all right You're all wrong
That's my valise. It's all mistake. They
got changed at the depot This lady and
gentleman are innocent Here's her valise
with her night-cap in it."
Great was the laughter, multitarous the
comments, and deep the interest Of the
crowd in all this dialogue, which they ap-
peared to regard as delightful entertain
ment, got up expressly for their amuse
ment
"Thcn you say this ere is yourn?' said
the policeman, relaxing his hold on the
bridegroom and confronting the Captain.
"Y;s, it's mine."
"And pray how did you come by the
spoons?"
"Spoons, you jackanapes !" said the
Captain. "Pistols-dueling pistols!"
"Do you call these pistols ?" said the
policeman, holding up one OF the silver
spoons marked "T. b."
The Captain, astounded, gasped, "Its
the wrong valisc again, after ALL"
"Stop! Not so FAST" said the police
functionary, now invested with great digni-
ty by the Importance of the affair he found
himself engaged in. "If so be as how
you've got this ere lady's vaise, she's all
right, and can go. But, in that case, this
is yourn, and it comes on you to account
for them ere stole spoons. Have to take
you in charge, all Of yc."
"Why, you impudent scoundrel p roared
,bo C.ntain HI'll Gao won in wish I