Daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1865, 1862-10-08
CFrOm Vanity FaIr.)
THE SNOWMAN AT HOME.

We hear very much, too much, about
great plans of battle The only plan Of
battle should be-to lick 'eBl.
Onless there's different management
right Off, the American Eagle will have
TO disguise hisself. as Shanghi Rooster
and make tracks for Canady; while thu
Goddess of Liberty will have to 90 out
doin' gin'ral honsewOrk ut two dollars
week.
As for Pope, can only say that
like his poetry a good deal better that
do his gin'ralship.
A hansum young gal in our town was
sOtup with one night by noble young
specimen of the true American, with
scissors in his vest pocket-I mean a dry
goods clerk-and the young gals mother,
hearin' sothin' pop, arose from her couch,
under impression that her Oldest boy,
who was given to friskyness. was holdin'
a wild revel on the root beer in the west
room. But on openin the door she diski-
vered it was huggin' and kissin' which
had awoken her from her peaceful repose.
'AIy daughter, o my daughter !" this
fond parrintldid cry, 'Oh that should
live to see this dOins in my own hOusen I"
81 know. dear mother" this sweet
village madin did unto her mama quickly,
reply, "that it is quite improper, but rs
oy.fHt SOOtfiD' :"
So the subscriber isn't quite sure that
it's right to speak SO freely as this about
! public affairs, but it kinder soOthes him
to do it
It's now the sweet, sad season of the
year, gentle Ortum. My little daughter
is singin' an entirely new song, called
Listen to the Mockin' Bird" Guess
you hain't got it in New York yet. She's
been a-singing it to me about all the time,
day and night for the past four weeks.
l think Pm poin' to like it. But can't
tell until 1t has become somewhat fami-
liar to me. Yes, this is Ortum! And is
1t not sad to think that the leaves, now
so beautiful and green, will soon Wither
and fade? Is it not? I'll bet tits.
My family and and several nabers
sot round the fire (fOr it's cOolish up herel
the other night There was the School
master, the two Mis-. Balkinses, the editor
of the Bugle-HOrn of Liberty, Ms. Sary
Peasley, and few others.
Mis-. Peasley is an old maid, but tain't
her fault 1t gin'rally tain't in these
cases. And before f0rgit it, let me tell
you little story, and let me call it ''Mis.
Peasley's Revenge"
Mis-. Peasley was once betroughed to a
young teller which be was engaged into
mercantile pursoOIs. He said be thought
NIL the world of her, and stated that onIess
sue consented for TO be his'n, he should lose
all relish for whites. and his dead corps
would be found Hoatin' in the river some
hue mQrnin'. Mis-. Peasley rekiprOcated his
pretended love, aud, like good girl as she
was, she said his people should be her peo.
pie, and that Wheresoever be wentest she
would likewise Wentest with him. But she
never wentested. Tue false lover weutand
married rich young gal, with temper
like vinegar and crab-apples. She made
him mis'ble by her GutIins up, which ft
pleased Mis-. Peasley. But she wasn't suf-
heiently reVenged Hs yet. She bided her
religion one day, and il was giVen out that
he would be baptized on u certain Sunday,
with some other cOnTeris. A large crowd
assembled to see the baptismal. and as the
minister was leadin' the mercantile man
iuto the Lake, Miss PeasIsy stepped up and
gave him large bar of yeller soap. The
minister was so 'stOnished he scarcely knew
what he was about, he took the soap in one
hand aud the mercantile man in the other,
and marched into the water. The con-
EerTs wife stood among the crowd on the
shore of the lake at The time, aud bein' N
il has allus been supposed, aetOoAted by
spirit Of eussedHesS. hOllered out as loud
as she could hOller, That's right. Give
him good Washin', Mister MinisIern Mis-.
Peasley went home. Mis-. PeasIey was re-
venged.
As observed, we all sot there before the
ere, and presently We was jined by my full
and effieient Orehes'ry, Her YaWrub~ Won
SkimmerhOrn. He plays the hand origin in
my show; and to my mind there's no sweet.
er music than flows from an orgia, alIhO'
1 nn I'D I
sin dirge on my step cousins death, with
a chorus, which sung with marked effect,
accompanied by the ergin. ~
Ny orchestra Is q gigantic German, aud
can lick a yardful of wildcats before break
fast without sweatin' a hair. He'll bear
1 lettin alone about as we'll as any man l
ever saw. So ! told him il be heard any
man smaller than he was taIkin' seeesh to
gently toss him into the lake, aud then pull
him out. He said bed do it, and l kinder
recknued be would.
where has my Yaweub been Z" said.
"Dutehman what Of the nigbtT
He has been sousin seeessionists in the
lake.
That's quite right" said. "Don't let
the horses drink there for day or two
Your conduct, Y4Wenb, pieases me. 50
you put the VileGeeessiouIsts into the drink,
did you, YaWeub :" and l lAFfed at the
idea.
"YaW, /" he said, Il buts dem all in. Dey
schqaSAl like ter tam T.
The door here opeued, and Ne. Skimpins,
the village lawyer entered.
''H0W are you, SkimPins 7" said risin'
to greet him.
fie was Pieter to behold. His hat was
oG, bis hair looked like parcel Of drown
did rats, and his garments was soakia'
wet.
"why, bless me. skimpins, Tn afraid
you're WeIr'
':ohi you are. are you 2" he replied;
"Well, perhaps am leetle moist. YOu'
big Dutchman there has been tbroWin' rs
into The lake pretty lively This evenini He