Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1862-07-01
dQuettster 4ailg SPY
RPHEUs C, KERRs EXPERIENCE.

Correspondence of the New York Sunday Mercury.
Upon quitting the Strawberry Festival l re-
turned post-haste again to Paris, where | ar
rived just in time to start with Captain Bob
Shorty and a company from the Comic Sec
non OF the Mackerel Brigade on a foraging
expedluon. We went to look up few straw
oeds Tor the feeding of the Anatomical Cavalry
horses, my boy, and the conservative Ken
lucky chap went along to see that did not
violate the constitution nor the rights of man.
Its my opinion, cOmrade," says Captain
Bob Shorty as we started out; 'it's my opin-
ION, my Union ranger, that this here unnatu-
raj war is getting worked down to a very fine
point, when we can't go out for an armful of
forage without taking the constitution along
on ass. l think" says Captain Bob Shorty,
''that the constitution is as much out of place
here as a set of fancy harness would be in a
drove of wild buffaloes."
Can such be the case, my boy-can such
be the case? Then did our revolutionary
forefathers live in vain.
Having moved along in gorgeous cavalcade
until about noon, we stopped at the house of a
first family of Virginia who were Just going to
dinner. Captain Bob Shorty ordered the
Mackerels to stack arms and draw canteens in
the front door-yard, and then we entered the
domicil and saluted the domestic mass meet
ing in the dining-room.
1--WE come, sir" says Bob addressing the
venerable and high-minded chivalry at the
head of the table, ''to ask you if you have any
old straw beds that you don't want, that could
be used for the cavalry of the United States
of America"
The chivalry only paused long enough to
throw a couple of pie plates at us, and then
says he:
care you accursed abolitionists? ?"
The conservative Kentucky chap stepped
hastily forward, and says he
Ono, my dear sir, we're the conservative
element"
The chivalry's venerable wife, who was
female southern contederacy leaned back a
little in her chair so that her little son could
see to throw tea cup at me; and says she
''You amt Tribune reporters-be your"
We were all noes and no ayes. Quite a
feature in social Intercourse, my boy.
The aged chivalry caused three fresh chairs
to be placed at the table, and having failed to
discharge the fowling piece which he had
pointed at Captain Bob Shorty, by reason of
dampness in the cap, he waived us to seats,
and says he:
''Sit down, poor hirelings of gorilla des-
pot, and learn what it is to taste the hospitali-
ty Of southern gentleman. You are Lincoln
hordes," says the chivalry, shaking his white
locks, ''and have come to butcher the south
ern confederacy; but the southern gentlemen
know how to be courteous, even to a vandaI
foe.'
Here the chivalry switched out cane which
he had concealed behind him, and made a
blow at Captain Bob Shorty.
'See here" says Bob, Indignantly, 'I'H
be"
''Hush!" says the conservative Kentucky
nhan ouifntn6lu eG5op't itota fba old
arch, or the future amicable reconstruction
Of the Union will be out of the question. He
is naturally little provoked just now" says
the Kentucky chap, soothingly, ''but we must
show him that we are his friends"
We all sat down in peace at the hospitable
board, my boy, only few sweet potatoes and
corn-cobs being thrown by the children, and
found the fare to be in keeping with the sit
uation of our distracted country may say,
warfare.
"In consequence of the blockade of the
Washington Ape" says the chivalry, pleas
anty, ''we have only one course, you see;
but even these last years sweet potatoes must
be Injuries to mercenary mudSills accustomed
to husks."
l had just reached out my plate, to be
helped, my boy, when there came a great
noise from the Mackerels i'll the front door
yard.
''Whats that?' says Captain Bob Shorty.
go, nothing" says the female confederacy,
taking another bite of hoe-cake, GIVE only
told one of the servants to throw some hot
water on your reptile hirelings."
q As Captain Bob Shorty turned to thank her
for her explanation and while his plate was
extended to be helped, the aged chivalry
ired a pistol at him across the table, the ball
Just grazing his head and entering the wall
behind him.
''By all that's blue" says Capt. Bob Shor-
ty, excitedly, ''now I'll be"
''Be calm, now; be calm" says the conser-
vative Kentucky chap, hastily, ''don't l tell
you that it's only natural for the good old soul
to be little provoked? If you go to irritate
him, we can never live together as brethren
again"
Matters being thus rendered pleasant, my
boy, we quickly finished the simple meal and
as Capt Bob Shorty warded off the carving
knife Just thrown at him by the chivalry's lit
tie son, he turned to the female confederacy,
and says he:
Many thanks for your kind hospitality and
now about that straw bed?
The Virginia matron threw the vinegar
cruet at him, and says she:
FMy servants have already given one to
your scorpions, you nasty Yankee"
"Of COURSE" says the venerable chivalry,
Just missing blow at me with bowie-knite,
''of course your despicable government will
pay me for my property"
''Pay you P' says Capt Bob Shorty, hotly,
''now III be -"
"'Certanly it will my friend" broke in the
conservative Kentucky chap, eagerly, "the
Union troops come here as your friends for
they make war on none but traitors"
As we left the domicil, my boy, brushing
from our coats the Stops that had just been
thrown upon us from an upper window, saw
the chivalry's children training fowling-
piece from the roof and hosting the flag of
the southern confederacy on one of the CHM
neys.
And will it be possible to regain the love
of those noble people again, my boy if we
treat them constitutionally! We shall see,
my boy-we shall see.
TnNyC ms nJ T1DT II GENIE Mt