The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1862-07-11
Popping the Question Under
Difficulties.
BY GEORGE W. BUNGAY.

A merchant taylor in the city Of Bufla
10 having accumulated competency at
his trade, determined to throw aside his
shears aud bodkin and spend the remain
der of his life uro on n farm.
He purchased several hundred acres of
land in Tonawandu, and there was "lisl.
ing ground" on the estate. MIR. c., the
ex-merchant, was delighted with his new
occupation, and he devoted his best ci-
forts, with untiring zeal, to farming ard
fishing. Being hard of hearing, he often
made ludicrous blundGrs, which eNcit d
the mirth(ulncss Of his friends aud Gus
toners. His graceful and beautiful
daughter was at boarding-school near
New York city at the time her father pur-
chased the farm. She had n lover, and
promised to marry him, providing he
could obtsin the consent of her parents to
the matrimonial alliance.
The young man travelled West as far
as the iron horse would take him in that
direction. One morning after his arrival
he was strolling on the banks of the creek
that sweeps through the village of Tona-
wanda, when he met a plain old gentle
man, dressed in homespun, and inquired
of him "If the cars had commenced run
ming to tNc Falls yct!'
"Principally pike and mallet" said
he.
"You misunderstand me-" continued
the young man. al merely wish to know
if the cars have commenced their trips
to the Falls Of Niagara, and what the
fare is."
"From three to four cents q pound"
"Do you intend to insult mel,
81 will let you have large quantity
for two cents"
81 huve a good mind to give you can
ing for your mpertinence."
"Well, if you do not choose to give it, |
know who will"
81 should like to know if there are any
more such fools as you are in the town of
Tonawandam
"We shall make another haul in the
morning before daylight"
At this instant another citizen made
his appearance, and the stranger stated
his grievance to him. He said:
81 have been asking this old man few
civil questions, and he has given me the
most impCrtinent answers"
80, he is deaf" exclaimed the third
party.
"He is as deaf as post; but he is a
very fine old gentleman-one of the best
men in town-one of the most influential
and respectable mcn in the county, in
deed. He is not importinent. He deals
in fish somewhat, and SO do |. 1t is pos.
sible he may think | am epdcavorng to
undersell him, will you, therefore, do me
the favor to write down your question on
a scrap of paper, and save me from suspi-
cion, and satisfy yonrselfin regard to the
old gentleman's polteness!"
The young man commenced writing,
when the old farmer-fsherman interrupt
ed him with the remark:
81 will not take note of hand; cash
on the nail, or no trade"
ale is preparing c note" said the last
conner.
"Call me brute, do you'll" exclaimed
DIR. c; "then take that!" and suiting the
action to the word, he delt him blow
strait from the shoulder which prostrated
him "fat as founder"
BY this time the note was finished, and
the old gentleman discovered his mistake
and about tins time the young stranger
made the discovery that he had been pick
ing quarrel with his prospective father
ln-law.
Mr. c. made an apology, aud invited
both parties to go over to his house and
dine. The front door commanded view
of meadow in which COW was feeding
aud while Mr.. c. was looking in that d.
rection, the youthful lover, whose hea
was overlooking with emotion, COM
the task he came such long dis
tance to perform.
~ am acquainted with your daughter"
said he, in loud tone.
"She is fine BEAST" remarked the old
gentleman, looking at the COW.
"four daughter!" screamed the young
man. 81 have the honor to be well ac-
luainted with her.
"She is a noble ANIMAL" was the quiet
response.
l''Confound the old Govt" said the
Young man in a whisper. 81 wish she
was out of sight."]
g | was speaking about your amiable
md accomplished daughter!"
"Shc is very kind---indeed, never
freaks down the fences never kicks-
never strays way like the other brutes
lave."
"fou don't understand me, sir! I was
peaking Of your daughter at boarding.
chool!'
"No, ] never put board on her face;
'he never does any mischief at ALL"
"four daughterr' shouted the young
nan, frantic with excitement.
"Did you say ought tov'