davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1862-11-07
A New Kind OF Fool.

A citizen walking W Chtstnut street
the other day, trod upon the flowing
skirts of lady. The skirts were distcn-
dcd by the most lavish circumference OF
crnuinc, aud truilud upon the sidewalk
ut least four inches. The drapery WIGS
50 yuluminous at any rate, that the wear
or was some feet distant from her hus-
baud, beside whom she was walking.
The citizen trod upon the lndy's skirts
bringing her to stand still. The citi-
In apologzcd in the most humble man.
ncr, aud the lady granted it. To his sur
prise, as tie lady pas sid on, the husband
turning Short about, said to the citizen:
you're fool !"
"Sr!" said the indignant and aston.
ishcd citizen, with an eye that forebodrd
a resent to the insult.
ooh, don't mean 10 insult you. sec
by your appearance that you are n gen.
tlcmun. When say you're n fpol, !
mean you IRE fool for npologzing to a
woman who wears trail skirts, because
you accidently tread upon them. That
lady, sir, is my wife; have to get my
boots blacked four timos day to walk
with her, for fear of soiling her flounccs.
The next time you tread upon them, pray
don't arologize tor it. lfyou had torn
the whole trail of'the dress should have
been pleased rather than otherwise,
"And you retract your offensive remark,
then!" usked the citizen.
'In the sense you understand il, | do,
Of course. Should you again tread upon
my wiic's trail, aud then apologize for 1t.
! should feel very much like repeating the
epithet."
The citizen wended his way like a man
who has acquired new wrinkle.-[Phil,
North American.
The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1862-11-07
A Asappy Thought.

They had draft in Gallipolis, as eve-
rabody knows. But everybody did moi
know how to escape when drafted. Three
of the draltt men, however, were wiser
than their fellows, or, at least, thought
they were. Perhaps thep learned in the
"Castles." But, wherever learned, the
idea was brilliant one. They just step.
ped over to jenkins and go, paroles from
him, swearing not to serve against the
South during the war. If that is not
"straetgy" we give il up We learn
that Que Of them has since become
ashamed, and has procured a substl ute.
But will that mend the matter II he
is pledged by his honor and his oath to
Jenkins not to take up arms against the
South during the war, is il not as much
breach his parole to send substitute
as to 20 himself!
We think Jenkins, il requested, would
open an office on this side VI the riyeI
for the granting of paroles, und thus save
our men the trouble OF journey TO him.
or some of his gaDg. We think we
could Recommend the right man for al
agent in this place. = (Pomeroy Tele'
graph.
The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1862-11-07
Another of srrwniow's "s,o-
rics."

Mr.. Story, editor OF the Chicago Tunes,
the s,cesh sheet Of that city, got terri
bic costigation at the hands OF parson
Brownlow, ON Saturday night last, in his
speech Referring to somc slandcrous
article regarding himself which had been
published in tho Times, the Parson said
Of the editor,
"I do not know whether the man who
wrote it Is here or nor, nor do care, hut
you may see him II l don't. Give him my
compliments, aud tell him for me that he
Is both liar and scoundrcl. Immense
applause lie boards at the Sherman
House, aud 50 do |. Tell him that am
personally accountable to him at any
time for any insult offer to him or auy.
body, here or elsewhere. Rrnewol ap-
/ plausc. lie ,sa pretty lying, lousy
drunken devil TO talk about me. tChocu
aud laughtcr,1
To talk about my change In politics!--
lie has been Iiecompton, Anti.l,ccomp-
ton, Abolition aud Anti. Abolition. lie
has been everything by turns, and moth.
ing long. His own party at Detroit serv.
cd owrittcn notice on him tha, no must
leave there in "a hours. Give the ly
ing, Slandcring scoundrcl my ccmpli.
mcnts, and tell him have lived In peace
and harmony for twenty-five years with
my wife, aud he can't shy TINT aud toll
the truth, Cheers aud laughter.l Tel
him that have lived at home and been
satisfied with one woman. lie can't say
that aud tell the truth. (Srnsation aud
laughter Tell him he is u BLACKBOARD
II scoundrcl and liar, and | will stay her,
until Monday morning TO utonc To- thi'
4 If he wants to-"
The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1862-11-07
An Incident OF the Battlefield,

During the week of battles IN front of
Washington, deucral Dnyard went for
ward under flag of truce, to moet aud
confer with his old comradc in arms, the
now famous J. Il. Is. Stuart, of tho rebel
cavalry. Lees than two years ugo, Jcb.
was first lieutenant aud payard second
lieutenant In the same company; hut job
is now major general, aud Bdyard a
brigndicr. During the interview woun-
dcd Union soldier, lying near, was groan-
ing and asked for water.
"llorc, b." said ilayarS--old time rec
ollections making him familiar, us he
tossed his bride to the rebel officer
"hOld my horse minute, will you, till |
fetch that poor fellow some water" Jcb
held the birdie. Dlyurd went to the
stream and brought tho woundld man
some water. As BOyard mounted his
horse, Jcb remarked that he had not fol
some time played orderly to unioI
! general"
The business upon which thoy met wa
soon arranged aud the old friends partc,
IA fight, which had ceased wiilc the!
were engaged talking, recommended wit
great fury on both sides, the moment eoc
got back to his own ranks.
The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1862-11-07
orphcus q. sxett visits the Ma.
Wy Ynrd.

By invitation Of well known official,
| visited the Navy Yard ycstcrdas, and
Witnessed the trial ol some newly invcn.
ted rihcd cannon. The trial was ul
short duration. aud the jury brought in
a verdict Of f"nnocent OF any inten; to
kill"
Tho first gun tried was similar to those
used in the Revolution, except that il had
q large touch-holc, and the carriage was
painted green instead OF blue. This nov.
oil aud ingenious weapon was pointed Ut
a target about sixty yofls distant. II did
not hit il, aud as nobody saw any ball
there was much pcrplcSily expressed. A
midshipman did say that he thought the
ball must have run out OF the touch-holc
when they loaded up--for which he was
instantly expelled from the service. AC
ter hong search, without finding the hall
there was some thought of summoning
the Naval Retiring Board to decide IN,
matter, when somebody happened to looh
into the mouth Of the cannon, aud discov.
cred that the ball hadn't gone out at all
The inventor said this would happcr
sometimes, especially IL you didn't put q
brick over the touch hole when y GU fired
the gun. The Government was so pleas.
ed with this explanation that il ordered
forty guns on the spot, at two hurdrct
thousand dollars apiece, the guns to be
finished when the war Is over.
The next weapon tried was Jinks' d,u'
bic back-ac,ion revolving cannon for fer
ry-bou,s. 1t consists ofa heavy bronze
tube, revolving on pivot, with both ends
open, and touch hole in the middle
While ono gunner Puts load in at one
end, one touch hole serving for both
Upon applying the match, the gun il
swiftly whirlcd around on u pivo,, anC
both balls fly out In circles, causing grea
slaughter ON both sides. This terrible
engine was aimed at targct accurately
but as the gunner has large family dc.
pendent upon him he refused to apply thC
match. The Government was satisfied
without firing, and ordered ak of tn,
guns at million of dollars apiece. Tht
! guns are to he ful lie in time for th,
next war.
The last weapon subjected TO trial wa
n mountain howilzcr ofa new psttcrn.-
The inventor explained that It's great al
INunlupc WhS Nhut ~ i'p"h"" Nv f'NN'''.
lu battle il is placed on the top of higl
mountain and ball slipped loosely int
it. As the enemy passes the foot of tht
mountain, the gunner in charge tips owe
the howitzer, u the ball rolls down tn,
side of the mountain into the midst Of th
doomed foe. The range Of this terrihl
weapon depends greatly on the height u
the mountain, aud the distance to II
base. The Government ordered forty q
those mountain howitzers at hundrc
thousand dollars apiece, to be plnutcd o
the first mountains discovered in the oI
cmy's country.
These are great times for gunsmiih
my boy, and it you hnd any old canno
around tho junk shops, just send thcl
along.
n q EEDH
The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1862-11-07
Geo ~. Prentice on sain, Sam
Mcdnry.

IFrom the Ioeisville Journal af The ca,b.l
Gov. Mcdary, the editor of the Colum-
bus (O.) Crisis, says that we had sou
in the rebel ranks at Augusta, aud that he
had sou in the Federal ranks. The two
facts 90 equally to prove, that, in those
times, SONS arJ lit influenced by the cx-
nrpples aud teachings Of fathers.
The Colombus Editor says, that in Phil.
$4,000 for us. lie may be the father of
/ lnyal sons, hut he is the father of rebel
lies, mud has as large family as Adam.-
We have never received dollar from
Philadelphia except for regular su ubscrip
tions to our paper, aud the amount thus
received IN any year has certainly never
boon the lurticth part of a thousand dol.
lars.
Tho man OF the Crisis says, that less
than ycar ago, we sent him kind and
| friendly letters in regard to- persons i'm
lprisoncd at Camp Chase. II may have
been less than year ago, but il was be-
fore lie made his truiturous effort to bring
the United States Government into disre.
putc by falsely asserting that Il "imita,cd
all the worst conduct of the rebels and
beat them at it," A kind of civil note
from us, isn't general license to the
person who receives it. to play tho trait
or and rebel forever thereafter.
Tho editor tUuntingly asks how wo like
the results OF the Ohio elections. We
like them exec, dinghy. We regard them
as the triumph of conservatism. H.
need not adtter himself that they uro the
ltriumph of treas m or of traitora
The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1862-11-07
Thc McrriH ac no. =. ALOuI
Ready for ;ln Expedition,

FORTRESS MONROE, Oct, 29.-A man
who says he was taken prisoner by the
rebels several months ago. and who fin
ally succeeded in obtaining his release
furnishes the following account of The
Mcrrimnc No. 2: :" | have been in Rich
mond sCmc time. During my stay ] went
on board the MrrrimGC No 2. She Is
thoroughly and heavily iron. clad, and Is
in every wHy a tough customer. She
hus been completed about u month, aud
has made several trips TO Fort Darling
She has as yet but one gun on board.-
When ] lett they were about putting
the remainder Of the guns ON board, and
they intended to have them mounted
in about three weeks. The machinery
of the Mcrrimac No. works well and
she cOn Justly make eight miles an hour
The rebels have every confidence in her
capabilities, and nre certain that she
will prove SUCCESS. When the people
of the North hear that the Merrimnc No.
2 is a failure, that the rebels declare
her to be 50, then th y muy expect her
TO come out and do all the damage that
she cun. Their Intentions ore TO delude
aud deceive us much us possible 80 us to
take us mapping. Ii was for this reuson
that rebel officer mado u remark that
the distractions in the james river had
all been removed, int, nding evidently to
convey the idea that the obstrluctions
were removed to let the Mcrrimnc No.
= out.n
The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1862-11-07
An Eigh,y-DoIiar breakfast.

At TilIin, on the 10th inst, that ccccn-
tric and extraordinary animal, the rle-
phunt Ham bal, belonging to Van Am-
bhrnh & Co.'s Mcnegcrie, treated him
self to rcpast which cost somcbody u
title over eighty dollars. An uEiOrtu-
nate candy pcddlcr, who follows the show
had stocked his wagon with n supply Of
d,licacics whcrewith he intended to
coax an unlimited amount OF postage
STAMPS from the pockets of rural ycung
gentlcmcn, and had gone to the hotel
stable for his mobile s,ecd," when MIR.
Hannibal, attracted, probably, by the
odor of the warm gingerbread, broke
loose from his fustenings, smashed the
wagon to ninicrs, and gobblcd down, ia
less time than il tales to read this para.
graph, six thousand gingerbread cakes
seventy pounds of assorted candy, anC
forty rounds of French kisscs." II ia
question among eye witnesses which
was tho most sublime spectacle--the
omplacency of Hannibal after going
through the establishment, or the fran
tic despair of tho candy pcddlcr upon
discovering tho extent oi his loss
| l[Clcycland Herald.
The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1862-11-07
Cen. DIN DccIiHcs heisg "a Can
didate for Governor of New
York.
LETTER FROM GENERAL DIX TO A FRIEND IN
NEW YORK.
FORTRESS MONROE,


FORTRESS MONROE,
Oct. 20, 1862.
-: My name, see, is again useC
in connection with political Office with
out my knowledge or consent. l shul
remain at my post, doing all | can to sus
tain the Government in putting down th'
rebellion and at a moment when the OK
istence of the nation is hanging by q
thread | cannot leave my duties hero to
be drawn into amy party strife. Neither
will ever assent 10 any adjustment OF
tho contest with tho nsurgsDt States that
shall acknowledge their success.
The rebellion began in fraud, dishonor
and violence and must end in submission
to the Constitution and the laws. The
secession leaders have put the contest on
grounds which would make success on
their part indellibe disgrace to us.
In my sphere of duty my intention is
to carry on the war without either vio-
lenee TO the Constitution or to the prin-
ciples of justice and humanity, and to
contend to the last TO avert a triumph
over all that is stable in Government or
honorable political compauionship.
My whole course through life has proved
my devotion TO democracy and conserya-
tive principles. No assurance should be
needed that this faith is unchanged. But
at moment like this, unless all parties
will rally around the Government in put
ting down this rebellion, leaving ques-
tions among ourselves to be settled when
the national honor is vindicated md cur
existence as n nation securpd there car
be nothing for us in the future but disas.
ter and disgrace.
JOHN A. DIX.
The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1862-11-07
sure .scaurs of General Buc,l

A dispatch from Louisville states thai
General Buell. has been oredred to Anna
polls; from which it would seem that in
spite OF the Kentucky neutralzing effort,
he has been transferred, We shall sub
nit most humbly to this dispensation if il
is confirmed, although hope has been SO
deferred, und has been once cast
down by u change of mind at Washing
ton, after his removal he'd been actual
| ly made, that we need positive evidence
to make positive conviction.
General Rosecrans accepts difficult
position; but hc has the generous wishes
of the public, and will have its generous
consideration of the circumstances. The
main body of the enemy has left Kontuc-
Ky, and an extensive campaign will bc
requisite TO any important results. The
season is at hand when Kentucky roadf
except the stone pixies, become impracti-
cable Tor the trims Of an army. The
difficulties attending reliance on long
line Of railroad Tor supplies have been il
Iustrated in Kentucky and Tennessee.-
Th3 Kentucky winters are probably
quite us severe on soldiers in the field us
those Of latitude farther North. II is
November when Gen. Rosccrans takes
command TO inaugurate measures to re.
se,m the failure Of the seasons cam
paign.
These circumstances must be taken
into consideration in the public expccta-
tion; and they will be. Tie public has
not been unreasonable in its demands OF
our Generals. On the contrary il has
been wonderfully generous aud patient.
We have hopes from this change that tho
patience OF the public will not again be
put to SO severe u test; but we believe j,
will have u generous consideration for
tho circumstances under. which General
Rosecrans enters on his new command. =
| Gin. Gag.
The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1862-11-07

Newbern, North Carolina, 10 ne an uM-
likely spot for the establishment Of =
camp Of instruction for an army Of loo,-
900 of the new levics, as urged by the
Major commanding the Depart
ment, The district is very healthy, and
force there would be important, az IL
would oblige the rebels to evaeuatc Viz
giniu at once, for it would place them be.
tween the upper and neither millstones,
with chances Of having all their supplies
which now reach then. aver the North
Carolina railroads, cut or at any hour
So reasons Newbern correspondents Of
the N. Y. Tribune. -. .4,i'.
The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1862-11-07

OF Kossuth, who is now in Turin
is suffering the deepest anxiety on nc
count of his wife, who is so seriously
i'll that she is hardly expected TO rccov.
er. Within thir cen years (says a cor.
rcspondcnD Kossuth has lost scveral
near relatives, and among them his on
ly daughter and, whils anticipating ihii
crowping calamity, he is extremely
straitcned in pecuniary matters. His
two sons haYe some employ ment in .
public effice in Turin. but the remuner-
ntionthcy receive is too scanty 10 enphs
them to render much asss ance TO the
distinguished patriot and their dying
mother. a.l
The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1862-11-07

or 1t so happens that when Parson
BrownlOw, Colcnel Hamilton or any of
the earnest Union men who have been
driven out ofihe South for devotion to
the old flag, have occasion to speak at the
North, il inyaribly happens that they say
that which justiiies the position of the
Republicans. This fact is vastly annoy
ing to the Democratic papers, some OF
which are, we observe. beginning TO
abuse these brave patriots.
Governor Yates, of Illinois, has ap-
pointed the 29th Of November, as a day Of
Thanksgiving.
The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1862-11-07

OF On Monday last we observed three
beautiful ladies promenading down
Whitehall street, and were informed
that two of them were sisters Of Mrs.
President Abe Lincoln. The ladies' we
saw, we are pleased TO know, are second
to none in their patriotic devotion to the
South. They reside in Selma Alabama.
If old Abe's wife is half as handsome
as her fair sisters Of the snnny South, i
is net strange that she is SO much ad-
mired by the Ysnkees.-[Atlsn (Gs)
Confederacy,
The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1862-11-07
miscciinneous ,l,r, !, .-';I,,,, i,e,,,- -

Mrs. Gen. Mcclellan aud Mrs. De-,
Marcy, having finished their visit 10 IN,
Army OF the Potomac, are now in Wash.
ington. u"
One corporation appears to have soul
and therefore deserves praise. Tho All
bany IN. Y.,) Gas Company refuses tJ
sell coke, Of which il has largo quaint.
" having determined to give Il swsy ID
the poor.
! have very little respect for the ties Of
this world, as the ielou said when ,h,
ropo was tied around his mech.
llo who said that the half Is often bet
ter than the whole, might have added
that none AZ all Is oflen better than halt.
| In the course Of very elocucnt ser.
mon, at the Park street Church, Boston,
kcv. DIR. Stono, stated that over 100 per
sous from that society had enlisted 10 tho
Massachusetts Regiments. DR., Sfnas -
the Claplain uc the l1th, and largJ
humber of these enlisted from the churc
have joined the same regiment. iIo has
son in the i5th.
A western paper says;
want 70 Ouy sgood coon and Posi
suul up'' 70 hunt our meat WIZ during
( the ysar. II is foolish for a man to think
about buying hog meat, who il printing
newspaper for So year. A dog that
will hunt coon, possum, aud will Kill a
sheep occasionally, will command good
price at these headquarters"
ny iawh'' W .Y"h wuH.d starvr, but
l,t MIN ln'it' another, aud they will both
'""''
The soldiers in Camp Russell, Nor,
W'oh' N,nnccuev'' hal nucral Tues
S,g,, ~ .w wy" rI',ons' tney
ku'. ,a',onsl uuu oe'n ue"n ivur a,ys anu
lo s"a. ,,,"e uh,sw OUT an ouor me that
sn.I,d III. so,;, Jonsyl"eh'Iy tney
D",Vu t"o.' i"e.op, anu ought 10 nave et-
rho .;,;,o, ortt.l;e.
-, ~ i,a''"N ,yo1vu'v ciect'
~. mv n" w'ah'n ns ias'
l g., ~ Wv" oe'p,V 'nc roheu
sLn"ix, iar,''a .I,. c,p'
,'n .,c'h 1sou's' W. iho
.Vv''" '''U''N W ''o" anu 70 'ake MS
' Soy
.", sWe,'eI l',us'c, 70 true woman,
'"h a,' w ~ w ""'p VI p,ano 'ouchou
LhnI Wy H. d1l liiIs ~ ."o eIeo.'u' VOICES OF
] so"u " ''''"''" '"u'' Joy0uS Ny her
Ayoung gentleman in the spring. timc
ot life, when walking with lady sium-
hled aud fell. Gu r0sumng his porpca.
dicular, the lady remarked; .
81 am sorry Tor your unfortunate FAUX
PAS tfT...
"I anlv 't;nnod my io r.rr "' '''' Nv
, ' ""N-
, New York Is not so much absorbed IN
3 the war rs to lenyc no time for amusc-
n men,s, The number ol visitors 10 the
: Central Park, las, Saturday was nearly
!, 10000 The carrisgcs numbered about
'''''
At war meeting last week, at Chics-
20, some one off red cav to the frat
married volunteer. The first voluntoer
) was single man, who stepped forward
u a",'".i Soe,lr'""s "pp,ause-,son,o ,h o"ee'-
,ng W" ,',u. amu v,"e.s Iaoe.,"s 'ne
Wv 'oen, ~, 90 10, o'io"s
''o 0'"'' ''N' WI" W e'"e"'
The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1862-11-07

1t is strange fact that in the govern
ment Insane Asylum at Washington,
there are a number of soldiers and sever
al officers whose minds have become de-
ranged while in the service of their coun-
try. Insanity in a number OF cases has
been produced by wounds received in bat
tie. Tie Assistant Surgeon in charge
Of the Asylum, DIR. Stevens, refuses 10
give the names Of the unfortunates for
publication.
The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1862-11-07

MRs. FREMONT As AN AUTHoREss.-
"The Story Of tho Gunrdj Chronicle
of,hc War;" is the title Of volume soon
to be issued from the Press Of Messrs.
Ticknor g. Field. Tho writer is Mrs.
Jessie Fremont, the well-known wife ol
the General. Colonel Bcnton's daughter
no doubt is q skllul writor, and she will
rec rd in her forthcoming book many
Iromautc incidents, snd telling homo
truths apportaining 10 her husbands much
abused campaign in Missouri. We un.
dcrstand the volume will contain several
private domestic letters Of gr, at interest
from her husband and his soldiers. The
profits of the book are TO be devoted by
Mrs. Fremont 10 the support Of the Wild
ows ard children of the fallen brave ofli-
GERS who perished In the Springfield fight
Such book will be a welcome volume
everywhere. / Boston Transcript.
The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1862-11-07
The Penn.yIyania Election.

curtin's majority in 1861, 3s,O92;-
Slenker's majority in 1882, 1881, Re
publican vote falls off about 10000; the
Democratic vote falls off nearly $4,000,
and that is what they brag over as an i'm
mense Democratic gain. The figures
show heavy loss on both sides.
The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1862-11-07

Communication by electric Telegraph
has taken place between London and Tur-
men, in Siberia, a distance Of 4,os9 miles-
Il is anticipated that ID extension OF tho
wires will be made to Nikolsieyski, en- the
Pocific, by the end Of this year, and that
telegraphic communication with New
York, BY way OF Siberia and Californisj
will be established by the end Of nsxt|
year.
The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1862-11-07

Iowa is truly patriotic State. Tho
Thirty-nlnth regiment is now equipped.
and no day has been set for draft with
in her borders. None will be needed,
unless another large call for troops should
be made. Tkc Republican State ticket
has a majority Fat least 5000, which
will be swellcd to 10000 by tho soldiers
vote,
The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1862-11-07

OErThe official vote for Seneca county
shows that Armstrong, editor OF the Tit
fin A dvert,ssr, candidate for Secretary
OF State, ran behind all his fellows on
the State ticket. A prophet is not with
out honor, ETC. Cien Lead
The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1862-11-07

MUSICAL IKTELLleRScE.--Sincet the ar
my changed It's base, the Press has
changed its tenor.