Mineral Point weekly tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1859-1868, 1862-05-14
a Battle Fought "Constitutionally &"

me SURFING LlmeS are come again, the /
maddest of the year, and | am beginning
to believe, my boy, that what is to be will
be as what has been has. Though still
without my gothic charger Pergarsus, that
symmetrical racer having been boriow.G
for writing-desk by a Secrx.ar,s of tbo
Frontieiror, l am enabled to ,.een nm com
inunications with the Nackerel corDse dom
NEE down tie ~,,ver and ten thousand star
sp'p1Ie@ banners flash through my veins
..s 1 relate the recent great artillery expe-
diton Of the Orange County Howitzers.
1t seems, my boy, that an intellectual
member Of the Mackeral Brigade got tired
of investing Yorktown, and wandered
away in pursuit of adventure As he Pc
regrinated in the neighborhood of a rebel
domicil he beheld what he took for the
bird of our country, stalking out of the
/ barnyard, and was taking measures to
confiscate it, when the proprietor made
his appearance, and says he;
| "IIessian, spare that goose"
| The Mackerel chap gave tragic start
and says he:
''Tis the eagle would rescue, Horatio;
the bird celebrated by my brother, the
Congressman in ali his speeches"
well, says The foul traitor, 1T is un-
doubtAdly what the Congressman takes
for an Eagle, as | am aware that Congress
men generally treat the American Eagle
as if it were a goose; but as that gander
/ happens to belong to one of the very first
! Families OF Virginia, and cost me four
shillings, 1t becomes my painful dnty to
resist your habeas corpus act. And with
that, he drove the beautiful bird into the
barnyard, and locked the gate.
Fired to fury by this insult from one of
those whom our army had come to protect,
the Mackeral chap went Immediately back
to quarters, and applied to his comrades
for vengeance.
That gifted officer, Samyue Sa-mith,
heard his burning words, and says he;
The cannon of the Union shall speak
in this matter. Let the Orange County
Howitzers get ready for action, and will
lead them against the Ph.listine,'
Instantly arose the notes of dreadful
preparation the guns were modified,
six English gentlemen in the hosiery bus
mess were invited to view the coming bat
tie, and just as the moon rose above the
trees, the artillery started for the rebel
stronghold.
Arriving before the offending house,
/ the Howitzers were placed in line and al.
rot ready for the bombardmcnt. 1t was
just possible, my boy, that two men might
/ have marched into the house and captur-
ed the misguided Confederacy without
slaughter You may be unable to see
what use there was IN bringing artillery
and forming in line of battle; but you
are very ignorant, my boy you know
nothing about strategy and war
/ Soldiers, says Samyule," remember
/ that the eyes of the whole world are upon
/ you at this moment, and endeavor to hit
the house as often a possible. We will
fire one round without ball, says Samyule
ito see if the pow Ter is frst-class"
/ Now it chanced that wbile the loading
up was going on, the gallant Lieutenant
| Lemons got his leg wonS. S.erfullv entanoied
in the lanyard of his piece, and kept turn
ing the howItzcr around in such n manner
strongly expressive of nervous agitation
Suddenly he stepped across to where Sam
yule was stnading, and whispered in his
ear:
-, see, says Samvule, kindly, you
were educated at West Point and want 70
know which end Of the cannon ought to
be pointed at the enem Y Well" says
Samyule, instructively, you'd better poi2;
+ the end with the hole in in it -
Every thing being in re adiless, my boy
the combined battery launched It's thun
ders on the air, creating a great sensation
in the neighhoring henro ost s. and eeus Ing
q large rooster 70 tall from bra nch III tilt
midst of his refreshing slum. .bers
Now that the powder ha j sustained it.
reputati n" says Samyule, i,nprsssiyely
let the two-inch ball be hur led al the enc
my works
As the house was full te n yards off, thi
second discharge failed to hit, but i
brought the Southern Cor .federaey to tn
window IN his night-cap and SAYS he:
There's no use of my trying to sleeT
if you chaps keep such noise dow
there"
Unhappy man, says SamyaIs, solemn
lv I'VE come here to re iuee you, and wi
listen to nothing but unconditional sarreT
der"
The ConfederacJ- g..ped. and says he:
Il m very sleepy, a nd aattalk to 20
nov; but IL call ov er IN he. morning
A frown was observ ed TO steal over tn
face of Samyule II has aspeculiar couI
tenance, my boy, az d o frosn effects
strangely. Take his moushsarsd naustach
! together, and they eminG you OF nous
summing him self on the edge OF his hole
and wien the frowp. can eso on, the muos
| acts as though be b az a stanach-aehe
f Comrades say SaE1yale, ''the enem
, requires another ro ,und, and we must {
it on the square Fire
Like four-and-tws snty lasader storms ii
Hovitzsrs reared ogesher, and had n