The Union and journal. [volume] (Biddeford, Me.) 1858-1882, 1862-09-12
Fact and Humor.
81 They that govern most make leas,
noise-babies excepted.

81 They that govern most make least
noise-babies excepted.
1It is said that when Frcnchman has
to wait he smokes; q German meditatcs an
Italian sleeps; an Englishman takes walk;
an American invents some new contortion OF
the limbs, and tries to put his feet higher
than ever.
VColeridge says, "The happiness Of life
is made up Of minute fractions, the little,
soon forgotten charities Of kiss or smile,
kind look, q HEARTFELT compliment, and
the countless infnitesimals Of plcasurable
thoughts and genial feeling"
HOne of the witnesses in the South
Leith case complained that Mr.. Phin read
his sermons; and on the question being put
to him-"Do sermons that are not read edify
you most?" ho convulsed the court by reply
ing, 81 consider that IL ministers cannot re.
member them themselves, neither can we."
gAt training down east. after an order
was given to "return ramrods," ono Of the
soldiers broke from tho line and was OF at
full speed. "Halloo, bawled the command
ing officer, "whcre are you going2" "Down
to Squire Muggins, to return the ramrod
borrowed Of him. You said return ram.
rods"
VAn advertisement in an Irish paper
setting forth the many convenienccs and ad-
vantagcs to be derived from metal window
sashes among other particulars enumeratcs
as follows,-"Thcso sashes will last forever,
and afterward, If the owner has no use for
them, they might DO sold for old iron."
UA newspaper writer contends that q
man ought to show as much courtesy to his
own wife as to his neighbors wife. That's
what superficial people think. Are not man
and his wife one7 and wouldn't It bo absurd
to have man forever bowing and scraping
to himself2 Marry, come up, and 60 to,
now. answer us that.
VWedderbuen asked Sheridan how he
had got rid Of his Irish broguc, rs he wished
to get rid of his Scotch accent. "My dear
fellow" said Sheridan, "don't attempt such
thing. The house listens to you because
they don't understand you but II you be-
come ineligible they will bo able to take
your measure"
VTruo hope is based upon energy Of
character. A strong mind always hopes,
and has always cause to hope, because It
knows tho muability Of human affairs, and
how slight circumstance may change the
whole course Of events.
vFamo has no necessary conjunction
! with praise; II may exist without the breath
Of word. It is recognition Of excellence
which must DO felt, but need not DO spoken.
! Even tho envious must feel it and hato il in
! silence.
PRErTr WoNES.-0f all other views .
man may, in time, grow tired but in the
countenance of woman there Is variety
which sets weariness at defiance. {" The
divine right man can acknowledge. and =
pretty woman the only tyrant he is not
authorized to resist"
/. When Demosthenes was asked what was
tho FIRST part Of an orator. what the second,
, and what the third, he answered, 'Action. -
The Same may say If any should ask me
, what is the first, the second, the third part
, ofa Christian, I must answer, "Action."
Luther says that "he had rather obey than
work Miracles" Obedience IL better than
( sacrifice.
As the water lifted up Noah's ark nearer
heaven, and as all the stones that were
about Stephens cars did but knock him the
closer to Christ. the corner stone, so oil the
strange, rugged proyidences that we meet
with shall rise us nearer heaven and knock
US nearer to Christ, that precious corner
stone.
y Old Lorenzo Dow used 10 say that
the Devil used all sort Of bait to catch dfIeren,
sinners, but that when ho fshed for swearers
he threw in the naked hook. So when the
devil Of rebellion fishes for traitors In the
South ho bats his hook, sometimes with .
fat civil Office, sometimes.with pride or 70.
venge; but when he wants to catch North.
crn dough.faco he tosscs In the naked hook.
The SUNNY SIpE.-Dr. johnson used to
say that habit oflooking at the best side
Of every event Is far better than thousand
pounds year. Bishop Hall quantity re-
marks, ..For every bad thcro might DO q
woSe, and when one breaks his leg let him
DO thankful that it was not his neck /"
When Fcnelon's library was on fro, "God
be praisei." he exclaimed, "that IL is not
the dwelling of somo poor mani" This 10
the true spirit Of submission-one Of tho
most beautiful traits that can possess tho
human heart.
| ~ Cen CAS- Ia mixing spcechcs 10 on. |