The southern aegis, and Harford County intelligencer. (Bel Air, Md.) 1862-1864, 1862-12-27

ANShS y thOiO SuhSpOo AoOlc uOW AL buC
world than there are fools of eny other
kind, an there's great menny of EN- Lord
knows. And" ses 1, SITS those edicated
fools that make all the trubbil."
"Wby, Majeri" ses he, "you amt an
enemy to edecation, I hope"
oval, no, Mr.. Senator, amt no ene-
my to edication only hate edecated
FOOLS"
SEES he, "Majer, what do you mean by
edecated fools Z"
"Wal,' wen was boy, an went to
school the six weeks I speak of, there was
u boy i'll my class who could beat me
spellin an readin, an in eenamost every
thing, but could lick him jest as easy as
[ could whistle. He hadn't eny more
spunk, or pluck, or courage than sick
chicken, an mighty little genewine COM
mon sense. His father, however, sent
him to college, an the fust thing I heard
of him, the papers were calliu him a larn-
ed man, an he amt done enything ever
sence but to blab at Abolishin meetins an
make Abolishin speeches. Now" ses I,
"that's wat I call an edicated fool. Jest
like the larned pig, he kin do wat he larns
to do or sees done but as for real COM
mon sense to tell wether thing is rite Or
rong, he amt worth eny more for it than
a bull dog is to catch rats
Sumnure looked kinder streaked wen /
sed this, but didn't say word, an jest
here the Kernel, who had been down
stairs to get his boot jack, cum in. SEES
he, "good mornin, Mr.. Sumnure. I'll
bet you one of Chase's greenbacks," ses
he, "that you can't tell why this boot
jack is like an offis-seeker.'' Sumnure
sed he couldn't. oval" ses the Kernel,
"because it sticks close to the heels Of the
President"
| telled the Kernel how that Sumnure
sed that the Message warn't grammatical.
oval" ses he, 81 believe everything goes
rong sence | become President. The coun-
try is upside down the niggers are more
trubbul than ever before the white men
are cuttin one another's threats, an it
seems as if Bedlam was let loose; an now
the grammer has ben violated, they say.
Wal, | wonder wat on arth ] am fit for
l never succeeded well in fat-botein; l
alters had poor craps wen l tried to be a
farmer; l was too tall to split rails ham
dy; and, as a lawyer, | warn't enything
more than from poor to middlin. Eff [
can't be presidint, [ don't see wat on arth
| was made for.'
oval" ses !, "Kernel, perhaps you
are like the old Quakers dog" SEES he,
Chow was that, Majer?" "Wal," ses l,
an tell you the story. Up in Maine,
not fur from Downingville, there used to
live an old Quaker named Hezekjah Pea
body. He had yaller dog that was allus
loungin around the house. One day Sol
Hopkins, a rough old Teller, cum along, an
ses he, 'Mr. Peabody, I want dog to
hunt foxes. Do you think your dog is
good for foxes?' Now ses the Quaker,
'neighbor Solomon, never tried the dog
on foxes, for the huntin of any animals is
not my business but if thee wishes a
dog for foxes, accordin to the Scripters,
this dog must be a good dog for foxes.-
wal, will you warrant him a good dog
for foxes !? Il cannot do that, neighbor
Solomon, for never tried him on toxer !;
but, accordin to the Scripters, thee can be
sure the dog is good for foxes So old
Sol, thinkln that Scripter proof must be
good give the Quaker five dollars for his
dog He took him hum, an the next day
he saw fox runnin across one of his lots.
So he called the dog an showed him the
fox, but he wouldn't stir an inch after
him. This made old Sol terribul mad,
an the next day he took the dog back to
the Quaker, an ses he, in his rough way {:
'Mr. Peabody, this dog amt worth DAMP
Tut, tut, neighbor Solomon, thee should
not speak profanely with thy lips That
may be- ses old Sol, but didn't you tell
me that this dog was good for foxes p
mo, ncighbor Solomon, think not. I
said .accordin to the Scriptcrs he must be
good for foxes 'Wal,' ses old Sol, 'how
do you make that out 2 wal, nebor,
the Scripters say "that there is nothing
made in vain," an as Iheu tried that dog on
everything else Except foe hatntin, I thought
that that must be aohat he ,ras made for r
Now ses I, "Kcrnel, hope it won't
turn out that you are like the old Qua
ker's dog, made in vain,' or as old Sol
Hopkins expressed it, mot worth d-w
but" ses 1, "ef you don't restore this
Union before your term expires, the peo-
pie win think that you were good deal
worse than the Quaker's dog, for if he