Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1862-09-25

of whom | am spectator are not your enc
mics they are your brothers, and desire t
embrace you in fraternal bonds. They wish
to be considered your guests, and respectfully
invite you to observe their banner of our com
mon forefathers. In proof whereof | estab-
lish the following orders -
81. IF any niggers come within the lines
of the United States Army to give informa
ton, whatsomever, of the movements of the
enemy the aforesaid shall have his head knock,
ed off, and be returned to his lawful owner,
according to the groceries and provisions of
the fugitive slave ack. (See the constitu-
ton
"II. If any chickens or defenceless object
belonging to the South be brought within the
lines of the United States Army, by any mig
ger, bis heirs, administrators and assigns the
aforesaid shall have his tail cut of, and be
sent back to bis rightful owner at the expenses
of the Treasury Department.
III. Any soldier found guilty of shoot
ing the Southern COnfederacy, or bOthering
him in any manner whatsomever, the same
shall be deemed guilty of disorderly conduct,
and be pronounced an accursed abolitionist.
WILLIAM Brown, Eskevire,
Captain Comic Section, Mackerel Brigade, com
manding Accomac."
DIGGING OUT REGIMENTS FROM THE MUD.
The mud at present inclosing the Mackeral
Brigade is unpleasant to the personal feelings
of the corps, but the effect at distance is
unique. " AS you survey that expanse of
mud from Arlington Heights" continued
Captain Bob Shorty, with the veterans Of
the Mackerel Brigade waiding about in it up
to their chins, you are forcibly reminded of a
limitless plum-pudding, we'll stocked with ami
mated rai>ns"
My friend" says I, "the comparison is
apt, aud reminds me of Shakespeare'S happier
Efforts. But tell me, my Plades, has the
dredging for those missing regiments near
Alexandria proved successful z"
Captain Bob Shorty, shook the mire from
his ears and then says he -
Two brigadeS were eXcavated this morn
ing, and are at present building raft to go
down TO Washington after some soap. Let
US not utter complaints against the mud" con-
tuned Captain Bob Shorty, refectively, for
it has served to develope the genius of New
England. We dug out a Yankee regiment
from Boston first and the moment those wood
en- nutneg chaps got their breath, they went
W hOIh dl TUG liuu IuaI idu dliHosG SuuOCdt-
ed them, mixed up soH1e spoiled -four with it,
and are now making their eternal fortunes by
peddling it out for patent cement"
THE GENERAL OF THE MACKEREL BRIGADE ON
MCCLELLAN.
1t peaSes me greatly to announce, my boy,
that the General of the Mackerel Brigade
believes in Mcclellan, aud gorgeously defends
him against the attacks of that portion of the
depraved press which has no friends dying of
old age iu the Army of the Potomac.
Thunder !" says be to Capt. Bob Shorty,
stirring the oath in bis tumbler with tooth
brush " the way little Mac is devoting him
self to the military squelchng of this here un-
natural rebellion is actually outraging his phis,
ical nature. He reviews bis staff vice day,
goes over the river every five minutes, studies in
ternatona law six hours before dinner, takes
souudings of the mud every time the dew falls,
and takes so little sleep that there's two inches
of dust on one of his eyebas. Would you
believe it, says the General, placing a tumblgr
over his nose to keep off a hy, his devotion
is such that bis hair is turning gray and will
probably dye p
Captain Bob Shorty whistled. | do not
mean to say that be intended to be muscally
satirical, my boy, but if | should hear such
canary bird remark after I'd told story,
somebody would 60 home with bis eyes done
up in ra;nbows.
ATAKE OFF