Cleveland morning leader. [volume] (Cleveland [Ohio]) 1854-1865, 1862-09-02
Bansuet ID ths - CIuh.

Banquet Of the Lazy Cub.
IL Tho-Lasy Club had a banquet at thei
rooms last evening, which can never be OK
cellsd g feast Of torpid reason and aow 0
sluggish soul TIE Espsst was light; an,
ordinary table would have supported it with
out murmur, and yet their table grOunec
bsnsStA it, which proved its fitness for tn,
occasion. It was manufactured to order fol
/ the Club, and psrtakss Of the prevailing
Ia1iness. The members are very particular
about their food, and won't eat anything that
sits isagy on their stomaehs II they can help
It. Water Cruel is a faTorite dish. Besides
being light, It saves chewing.
The President Of the Club, when invited to
come and take the head of the table, en-
quirsd testify il the head Of the table cOuIdn't
come and take him just as veil it wasR't
any further. l44gH4
A member then ssid--"I move you, Mr.
President, - - 6aa
g Thank yeu, " interrupted the President;
q I had as heve you would move me as any
body, for shan't move myself" The head
Of the table was finally brought around to
him. The maa who commenced to make the
notion being zoe. lazy to finish It, sat down
to put it in writing, hut dropped of into q
tranquil sIumber before completing it, so it
nsver win be known what motion be intend
ed to make.
The following was the
-HI BILL OF FAREs
a4 81 z11 SOUP. :
lzlEl4 Snail
FISH. LIZ a
Torpsd Eels, hand-cuffed Grabs, stuffed 4Eith
slow matches.
COLD DISHES.
Ice water, poured slowly down the back Of ths
neck.
----.. r..-..---- BOILED.
Leg Of Mutton caper sanee, the eapers being
d eLtracted, mo eapeFsA CoTned Ele-
phant and Cabbage
I d ~ ROAST.
Ribs Of Beef with fllets ofcoid molasses in the :
winter months Chicken stuffed with
t- crippled gibiets. Lamb Nth ''nona
ofyour sass" Veal larded with
coal tar and served on a
-1 hGhogning railroad
l-" time table. 4
EkIEEE5. ~
Water Cruel, administered through tunnels,
Snails with impe ediments IN their walk PIN
bols OF saw horse steak, q Ia Susaunah.
Scolloped tree to3ds in 8 decline.
20 II. Paralytie Grabs, shaekled.
=--.-.-.-.-- VEGETABLES.
Century Plant Potatoes with their jackets on,
ftoo lazy to peel them.l Cabbage boiled over
q asleWdlrse Cuoumbers gFeSpn on vines
that don't run. Red peppers with
the smartness extracted.
q Grab Apple Pie. Sponge Cake, CThe Club =
- sponged all their eake.) Ice Cream
served up cold. Hssty Pudding.
The last item Of pastry was inserted in the
Bill Of Fare by the printer, for joke As
each member of the Club reached the end Of
the bin and discovered hasty- padding"
there, he Instantly tainted. They have a
great aversion to anything hasty, though it
be nothing more than padding.
The repast proceeded almost in silence as
the club cannot admit ofthe double exsrtiOn
Of eating aHd talking.
There was only one interruption, and that
was when a msmber wanted to know why a
slow horse Is likes snail They all gaveit t
up Of course, being too lazy to guess on it.
n Because he is slow Rastbe reply. There
was disposition to push him 70 Tie van
but he was ParOled and allowed tO Pass the
lines .
A resolution was adopted severely oensur-
ing the eondgct of the foolish worm that
arose at SO unreasonable an hour in the morn
ing as to be caught by the early bird An
amendment was also adopted, to the effect
that It served him right. F.fly716
The President gave the health Of the
founder Of the club, the original sluggard who
was sent TO The ant to consider her ways, &c.
The toast was drunk land so. was the oiub)
reclining under the table. This terminated
the banquet.