The star of the north. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1849-1866, 1862-03-26


Bet your lite p
Is it then fact that
'Yesn
tAm to believe that
ALL rs QUIET ON THE PoToMAc!!'
II was too much for the venerable Bru-
tus; clutched at the air. spun once on his
left heel, sang a slave of John Browns
Body, and stood trans6xed with ecstacy.
Thank heving, says he, for sparing me
TOO see this dayp
| After which be became hopelessly insane
my boy, and raved so awfuIIy about all oar
great generals turning into mudIarks that
his afflicted family had 10 send him to
the asylum.
This veracious and touching biography
will show you how dangerous TO public
health is reliable war news and convince
you that the Secreary's order to the press
is only proper insaniiary measure
am all the more resigned to it, my boy,
because it affects me so little, that I am
even able TO give you a strictly reliable ac-
| count of great movement shortly 10 take
place.
Yesterday, as I sat slipping the Oath in
my room. and atten.ively examining mir
ror which reflected with life-lke accuracy
the young woman doing up her bia ck hair
Mortimer Montague, introduced fascina-
ting youth. whose serPentine looks big bo-
quet. and perishable gloves, made me think
of barber confounded with tailor under
pledge of compromise with ladies' shoe
maker.
'Your rame, sir! says I, with a slight
cough.
| why cough q saws he.
'wvkoua' y says !, why. how can help
coughing. when my visitor puis on enough
airs io give ANYBODY cold
Joke says he smiling like Miss Gam
bier when he steps ashore at New Orleans
with his pocket full of wiuaiugs. Il come, ,
says he, 'io tell you some important Infor-
maiion concerning McClelan's plan for an
advance TO Manassas
How did you get it, my Adonis!' says
lam acquainted with one of the cham
bermaids at the White Honse. says he,
'and she divuaed the plan'
'Well.' says I there's The greerback, and
now for the plan.'
The beautiful stranger cleared his voice
with lozence, and says he:
sThe plan is this: secret circular is
TO be Immediately issued TO all The briga
diers on the Potomac informing them tha
new bar-room has Just been opened a
Manassas. with free lunch every day.
II is calculated that this exciting document
will produce an Immediate advance of the
whole Potomac armv to the point named az
the brIgaders are all snch strict temperance
men that they wonId consider IL their rel
eious duty TO Immediately pu, the liquor
out of the way. Nothing. in fact could
prevent an immediate and irresistible ad
vance under such circumstances
Admirable Young man p says 'if wha
you say be true, Manassas is doomed
The South is destined TO speedy hnmiIia
ton: for orr brigadiers will pitch Ter and
tumble Ter about so that whatever peace
we offer her she will be but too glad TO COB.
let up while she cam
From this conversation my boy, you can
infer what you choose: 5ut it seems sound
The Sonih will be whipped at her strong
hold, even if il be hold ale. A briisher
veutured 10 tell the general of The Mackerel
Brigade the other day that be didn't think
the Souih conId be beaten.
s'The Sonth ? says the general, suffering
bit of lemon peel to come 70 the front in
his mouth, '.The Souhi why my dear old
Rosbif, we can lick her without half-irying
went down to Accomac early IN the
week, nv boy, having heard that Captain
William Brown and the comic section of the
Nackere Brigade were about TO march
upon Fort Muggins, where Jeff Davis,
BeauTegard, Mason, SIidell, Yancey, and
the whole rebel Congress were believed TO
be inirenched. Mounted on nv goIhic
steed Pegasus, who only blew down once
in The whole journey, repaired TO Villain IS
department., and was taking nstes of the
advance upon a sheet of paper spread upon
the ground, when the commander of Acco-
mac approached me, and says he:
'Whot are you doing, my bantam? :"
Pm taking notes, says !, for a journal
which has such an immense circulation
among our gallant troops that when they
begin TO read it in the camps, ii looks, from
distance, as though there had just been a
heavy snow storm,
sAh! says VILLAIN, ihouehtfpIEy, news
papers and snow storms are somewhat