The weekly pioneer and Democrat. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. Territory) 1855-1865, 1862-07-11
THE WEEKLY PIONEER AND DEMOCRAT,
he had pointed at Captain Bob Shorty, by
reason OF dampness in the cap, he waved us

| reason OF 0ampneSS ID the cap, he waved Us
to his seats, and Gays he:
"Sit down poor hirelings Of gorilla des.
pot and learn what it is to taste the hospi.
tally of a southern gentleman. You are
Lincoln hordes," says the chivalry, shaking
bis white locks, "and have come to butcher
the Southern Confederacy; but the South
ern gentleman knows how to be courteous
even to vandal foe."
Here the chivalry switched out cane
which be had concealed behind him and
made blow at Captain Bob Shorty.
"See here" says Bob, Indignantly, " I'll
be"
"Hush J" says the conservative Ken.
lucky chap, agitatedly, "don't irritate the
old patriarch, or the future amicable recon.
struction of the Union will be out of the
question. He is naturally little provoked
just now." says the Kentucky chap sooth.
ingly, "but we must show him that we are
bis friends"
We all sat down in peace at the hospita-
BILE board, my boy, only few sweet pota.
toes and corn cobs being thrown by the
children, and found the fare to be 10 keeping
with the situation of our distracted country
II may say Warfare.
"In consequence of the blockade of the
Washington Ape" says the chivalry pleas.
ant!y, 1--WE only have one course, you see
but even these last years sweet potatoes
must be luxuries to mercenary mudsils &C.
custUmed to husks.''
I had just reached out my plate to be
helped, my boy, when there came great
noise from the Mackeres in the root Soor
yard.
"What's that?" says Captain Bob Shorty.
80, nothing" says the female Contedera-
cy, taking another bite Of hoe cake, "I've
only told one of the servants to throw some
hot water on your reptile hirelings."
As Captain Bob Shorty turned to thank
her for her explanation, and while bis plate
was extended, to be helped, the aged chival-
~ fred pistol at him across the table, the
ball just grazing his head and entering the
wall behind him.
"By all that's blue!" says Captain Bob
Shorty, excitedly, "now Iii be"
"Ee calm, now; be calm, says the cons
servative Kentucky chap. hastily, "don't l
tell you that it's only natural for the good
old soul to be little provoked? If you go
to irritate him, we can never live together
as brethren again"
Matters being thus rendered pleasant my
boy, we quickly finished the simple meal;
and as Captain Bob Shorty warded off the
carving knife just thrown at him by the
Chivalry's little son, he turned to the female
Contederacy, and says he:
III .nz."MaDy thanks for your kind hospitality;
and now about that straw bed ?"
The Virginia matron threw the vinegar
cruet at him, and says she:
"My servants have already given one to
your scorpions, you nasty Yankee"
"Of course" says the venerable chivalry,
just missing blow at me with bowie
knife, "of course your despicable govern
ment will pay me for my property"
." Pay you!" says Captain Bob Shorty,
holly, "now Til be-"
"Certaily it will, my FRIEND" broke in
the conservative Kentucky chap, eagerly
the Union troops come here as your friends;
for they make war on none but traitors
AS we left the domicil, my boy, brushing
from our coats the slOps that had just been
thrown upon us from an upper window,
saw the chivalry's children training fowl
ing piece from the roof and hosting the flag
of the Southern Confederacy on one of the
chimneys.
And will it be possible to regain the love
of these people again, my boy, if we treat
them constitutionally? We shall see, my
bOy-we shall see.