Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1862-06-19
How sut Lovegood's Daddy Acted Hoss.

"Hold that ere boss to the yearth !"
"Hes spreadin' his tail to fly now !"
keep him whar he is !'
"Woa, shavetail p
These aud like expressions were addressed
to queer.looking, long legged short,bodied,
small headed. white haired. hog-eyed, funny
sort of genius, fresh from some second
hand clothing store and mounted on "Tar.
poke" nick tailed, long poor hoss, half
brandy, half devil, and enveloped all over in
perfect network of bride, reins, cruppers,
martingaes, straps, surcingles, red ferretin',
who reued up in front of Pat Neck's gro-
Gerry among crowd of wild mountaineers,
full of fight and bad whiskey.
"I say, you darned ash-carts, jist keep
your shirts on, will ye. You never seed a
raal hoss till | road up. Tarpoke is jist
next to the best hoss that ever shelled nub-
bins, and he's dead as still-worm, poor old
Tickytail |"
"What killed him. Sut," said an anxious
inquier.
why, nuthin,' you tarnal fool He jist
died-died g standin' up at that. Warn't
that good pluck? Froze stff-no, not that
adzacly, but starved fust, and then froze af-
forwards so stiff, that when dad an me push
ed him over he jist stuck out so, (spreaking
his arms and legs, like a carpenters bench,
and so we waited seventeen days for him to
thaw afore we could skin him. Well, thar we
was-dad an me- counting on his fingers. }
Dad an me, Sal, an Jake, (Fool Jake, we
used to call him for short,) an Phineas, an
Simeon, au' Ionas. an Charoteann, an Calliae
Jane, au' Cashus Henry Clay, an Noah Dan
Webster, an me, and the twin gals, an Cath
rine Second, an CIeopatry Antony. an Jane
Lind, an Tom Bullion an the baby, au' marin
herself, all left without boss to crap With
Tnat was nice mess for spectacle family to
be sashin' about in, warn't it l be darned
il | didn't fesl like stealin' a boss sometimes
Well, we waited an' rested, an waited until
well into strawberry time, hopin' that some
stray hoSs mout come along, but dog my cats,
eff eny such luck as that comes whar old dad
is, he's so drafted mean, an lazy, an ugly, an
savage, an trihIu'
"Wel one mite, dad he lay awake all mite
a snortn' an rolin' an' whspern' at nam,
an next mornin', sez he
"Snt, III tell you what we'll do I'll be hoss
myself, and pull the pow, while you drive me,
and well break up corn ground, and then the
old Guilt CHATS marm) and the brats kin plant
it or let it alone, j3t they - please"
$50 out we goes TO the Paw-paw thicket,
and peeled a right smart chance of bark, and
nam and them made gears for dad, and they
become him nightly then he would have q
bride, so | gifts an old umbrella what found
its little forked piece of iron, sorter like
onto pitchfork, ye know-and we bent and
twisted it sorer nntu bridlebit, small shape,
dad wanted it kurb, as he said he hadn't
worked for some time, and he might sort feel
his oats and 90 to cavortin') Well, when we
got the bride all fixed on dad he chomped the
bit st like boss, Che alwas most complicat-
ed burned old old fool, eny how, and nam
always said so, when he warn't about,) then
| put on the gears, aGd out dad and me goes
to The field, leading dad by the bride, and
totin' the gropher plough on my back. When
we came to the fence, let down a gap end
made dad mad he wanted to jump the fence
on all fours, boss way. | hitched him to the
gopher, and away we went, dad le9nin' forward
to his pullin right peart, and We made sharp
plowin', dad goin' rite over the bushes and
sprouts, same as rale hoss, the ouly difference
is he went on two legs.
Presently we cum TO a SassafaC patch,
and dad to keep up karacter as hoss, buIged
square into it, and tore down hornets nest
nigh onto as big as boss head, and all the
tribe kivered him right strate He rarcd and
kicked once or twice. and fotchcd squal wus
nor ary boss in the district, and sot into rum
in' away Just as natural as ever you seed. |
let 20 the lines, and hollored, 'woa, dad woau
but you might as well have said woa to 10.
comotlve. Ge whillikins how he run; when
be cum to a bush, he'd clear the top of it,goph-
er and all; p'raps he thought there must be
another settlement ov bald hornets in it, and
that it was safer to 90 over than thrue, quick
er done; every now and then he'd paw one side
of his head with his fust one fore leg and then
t'other, then he'd gin himself an open-handed
slap, that sounded like wagon-whip, and
running all the tme, an carrien that gopher
just about as fast aud high from tie yearth as
ever a gropher Was karried, | swar
"When he cum to the fence he busted
right thrue it, tearing down nigh onto seven
pannes, scatterin' and breakin' the ralcs
nightly, and here he left the gopher, gears,
siuge,tree, and kevis, and ali mixed up, not
, worth a durn. Most ov his shert struck on
to the splintered end ov a broken rale, and
nigh onto pint of hornets staid with the shert
singing it all over, the balance ov em,
about gallon and half, kept on with dad.
He seemed to run adzacly as fast as a hornet
could fly, for it war the tighest race | ever
did see. Down thrue the grass they went, the
hornets making it look sorter like smoke all
around dads bald head, and he with nuthin'
on but the brde and nigh onto yard ov
plough line a san' behind him.
" seed now that he was amin for a swim
min hole in the creek, whar the bluff is over
twenty-five feet perpendicular to the water,
and it's nigh onto ten feet deep. To keep up
his karacter as boss, when he got to the
bluff he jnst leaped off, or rather kept on run
ming. Keresplurge into the kreek be went |