Cincinnati daily press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1860-1862, 1862-02-20
WIT AND sRNTIMENT.

young lady by calling her a gentle lamb,
said, ''she is one mutton rs is small"
The pleasantest thing in the world is pleas.
ant thoughts, and the greatest art is to have
as many of them as possible.
II is said that no fort ever suffered so much,
from single battle, as has the piano forte
from the Battle of Prague"
The young woman that was lost in thought
after wandering in her own mind found
herself at last in her lovers arms.
Dull men are TO be closely studied Their
qualities like pearls, lie out of sight, and
must be dived for.
The laborer who adds his share to the
general wealth, is worth thousand do-noth-
ings who only consume.
WANTED-s sewing machine, one about
seventeen years old, Of dark complexion,
and generally considered good-looking.
To make hens lay, tie them fiat on board
and put pillows under their heads.
Sorrow comes soon enough without de-
spondency IL does o man no good to carry
around lightning rod to attract trouble.
Vermont is famous for four staples, linen,
women, meple sugar and horses" and that
'the first are strong, the last are feet, the
second and third are exceedingly sweet, and
all are uncommOnly hard to beat"
A widow said to her daughter, "When
you are of my age, you will be dreaming of
a husband" "Yes, mamma replied the
girl, "for second time"
An old gentleman has a queer way of
showing his hospitality to strangers. The
moment a person comes to his house, he
brings him pine knot and lack. .knifel The
old gentleman is a genuine Yankee, and be-
lieves there is but one pleasure greater than
whiting, and that consists of selling shoe.
pegs for oats.
Some days SINCE young lady from the
country called at store in Springfield, and
desired to be shown some collars. After
closely inspecting thea for some time, the
fair damsel exclaimed: "Well, l swow to
gosh, can get 'em cheaper than that across
the road" The Yankee vernacular is not
extinct yet.
'Susan, stand up and let me see what
you've learned. What does hair spell2"
Il don't know, ma'am." "Why, you igno
rant critter what do you sit on !" ooh,
ma'am, don't like to tell" "What on
earth is the matter with the gal! Tell, what
is il?" 81 don't like to tell; it was Bill
Brass's knee, but he never kissed me but
three times" earthquakes aud apple.
sauce exclaimed the mistress, and tainted.
A young lady from boarding school, be-
NY beh6u dJ thDl6 IL bub WOulu Lhh6 more, re-
piled: "By no means, madam; gastronomical
safety admouishes me that have arrived at
the ultimate Of deglutation consistent with
the code of Hsculapius."
DuIing the examination of witness as to
the locality of the stairs in house, the couu-
sci asked him, (which way did the stairs
rum" The witness, noted wag, replied
| that, "One way they run up stairs, but the
other way they run down stairs" The
learned counsll winked his eyes, and then
took Look at the ceiling.
WoMA N.-The morning star ofour youth
the day star of our manhood; the evening
star of our age. Heaven bless our stars
ATFEcTIoN-Th tie that binds the happy
may be dear; but that which links the un
fortunate is tenderness unutterable.
Love, Justice, and Fortune are said to hav
no eyes; but all three make us mortal
open ours pretty wide sometimes.
"You seem to walk more erect than usual
my friend" ayes, ! have been Lately
straitened by circumstances"
When the Government is afflicted the DO
litical doctors generally apply leeches t,
its chest.
In 1888, Francis Baily, the astronomer
estimated the weight of the earth at 1886,
187G7O,O OOO,OOOOOO, 100000 tuns.
An Adult School, for the instruction o
negroes, has been established at Hatteras
1t is under the care of Patrick Kelley, o.
Co. c, U. 8. Artillery.
The tobacco trade, the Louisville Journa
thinks, will be transferred to the Middle
States.
A family in Newburyport has acquired
possession of comfortable residence
through twenty years of occupancy, during
which time they were never presented with
a rent BILL and did not even know thu
owner of the house. The law has confirmed
their right of possession.