The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1862-05-10
A ROMANTIC DREAM.
BY CHEAP JOHN.

Time: 10 O'Clock at night. Place a pale
lighted room in the. 2nd story Of Store
House in Elktnn, Md. Business: u caucus
meeting. Present: some 6 or serious
countcnances. First speaker, Mr.. Smoothing
Iron, who commences thus
" Gentlemen, have some very grave sub
jects for your consideration. Firstly, what
action are we to take respecting this indi-
vidual called Cheap John' And twicely.
what will be onr condition if he goes on the
way he does, exposing our extortion Z? And
rce-tmcsly, if something is not done soon
there will bc no use for more than about two
stores in Elliton, besides Cheap J ohn.'
pumps AR. LEATHER Nose in great haste
" Mr. smoothing Iron, agree with you per-
fccty. have been trying for the last two
months to run down both Cheap John aud
his Goods tn all intcnts and purposes but
find the people see that ohm is bound to do
right, and they arc determined to support
him.
At this juncturc all countenances began to
assume wild hue. Up gets Mr.. Greuscy-
Face:
:" Mr.. Chairman, l should like to know
what Mr.. Lcathrr- Nose means by the wore!
right 2 Sir, do not see the point that Il
man shall come here and cut down prices
about one half, and do all, or nearly all, he
business in town; can't sec it, nor any
nIan.''
After this M Slysnoozlc gets up:
And can't see the point, either, Mr..
Chairman. think Mr.. LIS sympathy with
Cheap John is rather too knotty Tor me to
swallow. l always had 4 friendly feeling for
You, Mr.. L.; but l wish you to understand
that's played ont now. Why the thing speaks
for ITSELF use to get 80 per cent more for
every thing sold than Cheap j ohm sells the
same goods for, and in some cases ~ per
cent more, and how can hut be down on a
man that does that refer to you all.''
Next speaker NJ. Rohcmdocn:
6: Gents, wish to be distinctly understood
on this grave subject. In the first place.
am down on Cheap John like load of toad,
frogs, and all people who take his part, for
consider that suffer more than any one else
by this cutter down of prices. Why use to
get any price | asked, but now shall have
to sell below cost to compete with Cheap
John, and why Mr.. Leather Nose can take
| his part / am at a loss"
| At this moment Mr.. L. jumped up:
Mr.. Chairman, | consider this crowd is
all down on me, because take Cheap Johns
| part. Now. Mr. Chairman, will tell YOU
why take his part {: in the first place he
knows how to buy and sell goods better than
any other man in the State of MARYLAND, and
in the next place he has style about him
| that never saw III any other man. Why he
manufactures his own Clothing, Boots and
Shoes, Brushes, Backing, Indigo Blue, and
! imports his own Threads and Cutlery en-
ploys ladies in his store to wait on ladies'
He commences business at the right end L.
He pays Cash for every thing, and sells all
| for Cash, and that is the only right way to do
business in any part Of the world, and if
Cheap John wanted a partner would be the
| first man to apply. Now, Mr.. Chairman,
these are my reasons for sympathy as you
call it, with Cheap John.''
At this juncture up Jumps all hands, all
| speaking at once.
81 move, Mr.. Chairman, that Mr.. L. be
expelled from this honorable body"
| "Agrecd ~ says all hands.
MIR. L., e. will leave If you call this an
honorable body. Good night %
Going ont, Mr.. l.. was heard to say, "Well
| have had the conscience-achc for long
time. thank God can now sleep at night,
| something have not done for long time -
| Just at this moment awoke from my long
and tedious dream, and found myself lying
or the broad Of my stomach, with my mouth
wide shut, and my right foot hanging out of
bed and chntzcs playing checkers on my
| big toe-nail.