Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1862-07-22
Letter from Msjl JACK Down
Washington, June Is. 1862.
10 The .Eflif0IS of- The Gn,rnel,,a

/ ashlngton, and l'm kinder surprised nv
ser, Tor l expected TO be in Dowpinsvilie.
long afore this. But you'll see by the time
you glt through this letter. that it was I'M
/ possible Tor me to leave. i got my trunks
al packed up and ready to start, when 10 !
ana behold, my hickory, that GinneraI
jackson give me, was missing? Now. |
couldn't no more trsyii without my hickory
cane than l could solder up this broke en-
mon with skim milk. | told Linkin I
was all ready, but that my hickory was
i missing. So he lied the Teller in rprtv
DAD close, Who does chores around the
~ nlte House, and asked him eff he'd seen
lJt! lie sed he hadn't. Then | reckolIec-
TED that there bad been Cabbypet mee,ip
the night before, and it struek me that some
/ OF the members had walked of with. it,
SO Linkio sent the ieeler around to see
Alter bed gone, told Linkin eff any of
'em had II that I'd BET it was Stantip, for
ses l, 'Kernel, ever sense he tried TO Get
on your trowsers down to Fort Mourow.
he's acted jest as eff he wanted to play Gin
neral jackson, and ef be can get n niece
| OF hickory that the old Ginneral has hand.
led, he'd think that he was on the road to
glory. Sure eruf he had it, but pretended
1t was all mistake, jest as he did when
caught him 10 the Kernels trowsers. De-
pend upon it. Stantin needs wafchip. for
he is one of them kind of fellers who's got
/ 1t In their head that they are foreordained
for somethin, and they don't know what.
The loss of my hickory kept me over one
day longer. and the next morning got the
bottle OF Boredom whiskey which you sent
to me. a Teller by the name of Adams
fetched 1T, and be wouldn't take any nav
for his trouble either asked him eff he
was any relashin to Phil Adams. who used
to keep tan yard in Downingville, as he
was very clever man and used t. do ANY,
thin Cor his naybCrs for nothin. The chan
laughed rite out loud at this. and ses. she
didn't see it." SEES l, what don't YOU
see 2" WAL" sed he, "neyer MUD. old
Teller, about telln long stories, but Jest put
| your name rite down there" and he hand
ed out big book fall of writing. SEES |.
Mr.. Adams, | never put my name to eny
thing that | don't understand" SEES +
that may be secesh docyment for all |
know" Ses the Teller, ses he, "Git out /
this is only receipt for that b,ttIe..,-
Wa. . ses |, ''ef that's all, then here
goes" So got my speetac es and quill
| pen, for never rite with eny of the new
tangled kinds. and l jest rote out "Naier
Jack Downing" in stile that made the
Teller stare. SEES l, "Mr. Adams, you have
some awful poor riters among the fellers
you deal with, but 1 amt ashamed of that
ritIn enywhere." The chap he looked at il
moment and then be looked at me. and
finally says he. 'Bully for YOU" and in a
| jify he was off, without even shakin hands
or sayin good bye.
After he was gone took the bottle into
Linkin's room and opened. Nov" SEES |.
KERNEL, let's try this Ticker" oval"
ses he, "Majer. I'm good judge Of Bore
bon, for it comes from my old State of
kentuck." When Lindin saw the name
on the bottle, "NIr. Cotton, BOG Washing
ton street, N. " ses he, 'sMnier. do YOU
think toat this is loyal whiskey % "Why,
ses l, Kernel, what makes you ask that
duestshin 2" WAL" ses he, don't you
see the mans name is Cotton ?" Now"
ses l, KERNEL, what al idee that is! Do
you suppose il would be dangerous for him
to live down in Secesh where they are
burning cotton as fast as they kin Pr
wal, never mind the name, Maier, let us
taste of the whiskey. l kin soon tell
whether it's loyal or not" So opened
the bottle and poured cut some. and the
Kernel took good swig. l also OK a
snifter and we both pronounced it A No /
ticker, and loyal too. Now ses !. "Ker
mel, kin you tell me why this whiskev is
| ike the Constitushn of the United S:a.es?'
NO" she be, Il don't see eny s;mulari-
ty." oval" ses |, "KeInel, this wiskey
was made for White Hen, jest as the Con-
stitushin WIS.," SEES he, "Majer, how do
| You knGw 1t was made for white men ?'-
Wal" ses |. lit is jest as plain To me as
daylight. You see, Kernel, The ticker
agrees with you. lttastes good 1t won't
hurt you; in word, it corresponds with
natnr. That's sign 1t was made for you
jest SO 1t is with the COnstitushin. 1t ap-
Plies to white men exactly, and they've al
ways got along together with it ust rate
Now, you give this whiskey to the nigg r,
and they get drunk on it, and cut up all
sorts OF scrapes, but white men. whom II
was made for, know jest how to use it and
it don't do them eny hurt. jest so with the
1 Constitushin you apply it to niggers and
| it's jest as bad for 'em as wiskey. Tbev
! don't know how to use it, an they'll DESTROY
everything. and make themse.v an every.
body else ten times worse off" sWaln
ses the Kernel, SEES be, 'Maier, wish /
could see how it is that the Constitushin
don't apply to nigeers Jest as much as to
white men," SEES /. "Kernel, YOU d mt
| look at the COnssitushio thru Consiitushin
al spectacles. That Chicago platform both.
ers you" Now" ses l, eternal. eff Ipl
make you Constitutional TELESCOPE will
you promise me TO use it? If YOU will, il
will be ab9ut as good a guide to You as eff
staid here all summer myself!| SEES /.
sit will show you the COnstitus!.in as il is
and the Union as it was" When / spoke
OF this, Linkin sed he'd be tickled eena-
most to deth eff l would make him one
30 told him could do it in one day, and
that although l was very anxus to git hum
yet I'd fix this up before | started So 1
Jest went up to my room and began to plan.
L bad pair OF old spectaeles, which Gin
neral jackson give me, and | knew that
| the glasses were jest as sound cOnsfitushin
al glasses as were ever looked thru. So
took EN- out of the cases, and got mag
nifylDg glass and put between 'em, an fixed
'em IN long, naIrer box. 1t took me
about all day before / got it finished. -
Wen 1t was all done. Hooked thru it. an
you never see such glorious site. ] could
see Jest as eff it was the hull Union lawn
out before me. There was the Stars and
Stripes, an the eagle, an thirty millions of
white people, all happy and contented, an
JOY an pr Jsperity smiiin everywhere An
the sky seemed to be beading down SO as
to almost tech the arth. an way up in the
clouds could zee rays of light streemin
forth, an thought ] could even see the
angil robes Of Washington. an Jefferson,
an Madison, an the old Ginneral looking
dOwa, an right over the hull was the words
"GLoRY and PEACE" in crate big letters.
1t was raley beautiful. i get Iookin at
it, and forget all about myself, in sort Of
a reveree, and wen | cum to, found I'D
1 been cryin. because. you see, that was the
Union as ii trds, and not as it is now In
fact, wen | got awake, found it was cen
amOst ditch dark, and so Linkin couldn't
look thru the Teliskcpe that mite. Then
got piece Of chalk, and marked it LIN
KIN's TELESCOPE" an took it to him.
"There," ses i, KERNEL, that Telescope
! is done, an Tomorrow you can take a look