Bradford reporter. [volume] (Towanda, Pa.) 1844-1884, 1862-11-13
A War Meeting.
BY ARTEMAS WARD.

Our complaint just now is war meetin's-
They've bin hagin' EN- bad in varis parts of
onr cheerful Republic, and naturally we caught
them here in BaldinSviIie. They broke out
all over US. They'er better attended tnan the
Eclipse vas.
| remembered how people poured into our
town to see the Eclipse. They laborcd into
a impression that they couldn't see it 10 home,
SO they came up to our place. | cleared a
very handsome amount of money by exhibitin'
the Eclipse to 'em, in an open top tent. But
the crowd is bigger now. Posey County is
aroused. | may say, indeed, that the pra
hay-ories of Iujiany is on fire.
Our big meetn came off the other night,
aud our Old ireud of the Bugle was elected
cheerman.
The Buge Horn of Liberty is one of Bal
dnsviile's most eminent institutions The ad
vertisements are well written, aud the deaths
and marriages are conducted with signal abiIi.
ty The editor, Mr. Slinkers, is polsb'd
Sarcastic writer. Folks 10 these parts will
not soon forget how he used up the Eagle of
freedom, family journal now published at
Suoonovlle near here. The controversy was
about plank road. "The road may be, as
our contemporary says, humbug {; but our
aunt isn't humbug, and we haven't got
one-eyed sister Sal ! Wonder if the editor of
the Eagle of Freedom sees it 7" This nsed up
the Eagle of Freedom feIler, because his aunt's
head does present skin'd appearance, and
his sister Sarah is very much one.eyed For
a genteel home thrust, Mr.. SIinker has few
ekals He is a man of great pluck likewise
He has fierce nostrils and | b'lieve upon my
soul, that if it wasn't ahsolootely necessary
for him to remain here and announce every
week. that our Gov is about to take
vigorous measures to put down this rebellion"
i believe, upon my soul, this llustrous man
would enlist as Brigader n;ral, and get his
Bounty.
| was fixin' myself up to attend the great
war meetin' when my daughter entered with a
young man who was eviiently from the city,
and who wore long hair, and had wild ex
preston into her eye. In one hand he car
red portfolio, and his other how claspt
bunch of small brushes. My daughter intro
duced him as Mr. Sweihier, the distinguished
landscape painter from Philadelphy.
" He is an artist, papa. Here is one of his
masterpieceS-a young mother gain admiru-
showing me real pretty picter done in lie.
Is it not beautiful, papa He throws so
much soul into his work"
Does he does he Z" l said" well |
reckon I'd better hire him to whitewash our
fence. 1t needs it, What will you charge
sir 2" I continued, to throw some soul into
my fence p
NV daughter went out of the room in very
short meeter, takin' the artist with her, aud
from the emphatical manner in which the door
slam d, | concluded she was summit disgusted
with my remarks She closed the door, may
say, in ttatics | went into the closet and larf
ed all alone by myself for over half an hour.
larfed so vi'lently that the preserve jars rat
tied like cavalry offisser'S sword aud things,
which aroused my Betsy, who came and open
ed the door pretty suddent. She seized me
by the few lonely hairs that still fingered sad
ly upon NV b4refooted he'd, and dragged me
out of the closet, incidentally obsarviDg that
she didn't exactly see why she should be COM
PEELED, at her advanced stage of life, to open
a asylum for sooperanooted idiots.
But to return to the war meetin' 1t was
largely attended. The editor of the Bugle
arose and got up and said the fact could no
longer be disguised that we were inv, lved in
a war. Human gore," said be, "is aowin'.
All able-bodied men should seize musket and
march to the tented field. | repeat it, sir, to
the tented field" ...
voice" Why don't you 60 yourself, you
old blowhard 2"
" | am Unidentified, young man, with Arky-
medirn lever, which moves the world" said
the editor, wiping his auburn brow with his
left coat tail " / allude, young man, to The |
press. Terms two dollars year invariht,i,y in |
advance. Job printing executed with neat
ness and dispatch p and with this hust of ele
kance the editor introduced Mr. j. Brutus
Hinkins ; who is sufferin' from an attack of
College in naberin' place. Mr.. Hinkins said |