The Portland daily press., 1862-09-10
MISCELLANY.
Alarming symptoms.

Since the issue of the Presidents order for
draft of the militia, in case the quota of the
various States is not filed at a certain time,
the increase of sickness in our city has been
alarming. Men who have always boosted of
their strength and stamina, their youth and
ability to endure hard knocks, suddenly con-
TESS to i'll health, rheumatic affections, diseased
lungs, and pains in the region of the back.
Those who have always looked young and con-
tented that they were not more than forty
years of age now neglect hair dyes. and con-
TESS to fifty without blush In fact should
this war continue many years longer, wig
makers and liquid hair dye manufacturers will
certainly be ruined, for there is no longer any
demand for such articles. Sprightly old beaux
are still TO be seen on Washington street, but
their hair looks grisly, and their cheeks have
lost their bloom. Truss manufactures are
working day and night TO meet the sudden de-
mand for their useful articles, and the man with
the sung barometer" who takes his stand on
the Common, every summer, and importunes
pedestrians to stake blow" is making small
fortune at a penny head, and in few weeks
expects to be able to purchase house on one
of the squares.
Even editors, those valiant gentlemen, who
sit in their sanctums and direct campaigns,
telling one general what he should do and an
other what he should not do, condemning this
measure and praising that-men who do not
know enough of military to head section of
the awkward squad--even these great military
critics are suddenly uttering complaints and
limiting at paralysis of the right arm, caused
by using steel pens. But at the same time
they state that they are ready to devote their
lives to their country's service in the way OF
writing, unless their fingers give out.
But physicians are making money by the
panic. A few days since one of our best doc
tors was called upon by a man and his wife.
The physician was acquainted with them. He
had treated the family for years.
Doctor said the male visitor, II think
that my lungs are affected. / wish that you
would examine Them
"Nonsense,v laughed the doctor, 'you are
well and sound.'
This information, instead of causing excla-
nations of pleasure, was received with n show
err of tears by the female, and heightened
visage by the male.
Don't be alarmed" cried the doctor, III
pledge my honor that your husbands lungs
are as sound as mine.'
To the surprise of the medical man, the
married couple threw themselves into each
others arms and mingled their tears.
"There is no hope," they gasped, 1--WE must
run for it,
The doctor could not comprehend the scene.
Suddenly the wife approached the physician
and laid her white hand upon his arm.
Doctor. she whispered, don't you think
that you can discover one little tubercle on
his lungs? just enough to swear by. Make
us happy by saying that you can"
Light flashed upon the mind of the phys-
clan. He comprehended all in a moment. His
patient was fearful of being drafted, and pre-
ferred diseased lungs to fighting for his coun-
try.
I'll see you shot first" roared the doctor.
"Go fight. You are able and should be will
ling" and then the physician turned to devote
his attention to man with truss.
Diseased lungs are fashionable for the time
being, and trusses are considered indispensa-
BILE household luxuries.