The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1862-05-03
A ROMANTIC DREAM.
By CHEAP JOHN.

limo: I'D O'Clock at night. Place a pale
lighted room in the 2nd story Of Store
House in Ekton, Nd. Business: a caucus
meeting. Present: some 6 or I serious
countenances. First speaker, Mr.. Smoothing
Iron, who commences thus:
Gentlemen, have some very grave sub
jccts for your consideration. Firstly, what
action are We to take respecting this indi-
vidual called Cheap john And twicely,
what will be our condition if he goes on the
way he does, exposing our cxtortiOn And
threetimcsiy, il something is not done soon
there Will he no use for more than about two
stores in Elkton, besides Cheap John"
Up jumps DIR. LEATHER Nose in great haste
" NJ. Smoothing Iron, agree with you per-
fcctIy. | have been trying for the last two
months to run down both Cheap John and
his Goods to all intcnts and purposes but |
find the people see that John is bound to do
right, and they are determined to support
him.
At this .uncture all countenances began to
assume wild hue. Up gets Mr.. Greasey-
Face:
8" Mr.. Chairman, l should like to know
what Mr.. Leather Nose means by the word
right p Sir, do not see the point that a
man Shall come here and cut down prices
about one half, and do all, or nearly all, the
business in town l can't see it, nor any
man."
After this Mr.. Slwnoo.le gets up:
g. And can't see the point, either, Mr..
Chairman. l think Mr.. LIS sympathy with
Cheap John is rather too knotty for me to
swallow. l always had friendly feeling for
you, Mr.. L.; but wish you to understand
that's played out now. Why the thing speaks
for itself: use to get 80 per cent more for
every thing sold than Cheap John sells the
same goods for, and in some cases 80 per
cent more, and how can but be down on a
man that does that refer to you al.''
Next speaker Mr.. Raicemdown:
Gents, wish to be distinctly understood
on this grave subject In the first place,
am down on Cheap John like a load of toad
frogs, and all people who take his part, for
consider that suffer more than any one else
by this cutter down of prices. Why use to
get any price l asked, but now 1 shall have
to sell below cost to compete with Cheap
John, and why Mr.. Leather Nose can take
his part am at loss-''
At this moment Mr.. L. Jumped IN:
6: Mr.. Chairman, 1 consider tins crowd is
all down on me, because take Cheap Johns
part. Now, Mr.. Chairman, will tell Won
why take his part in the first place he
knows how to buy and sell goods better than
any other man in the State of MARYLAND, and
in the next place he has style about him
that never saw in any other man. Why he
manufactures his own Clothing, Boots and
Shoes, Brushes, Backing, Indigo Blue, and
imports his own Threads and Cutlery en-
poys ladies in his store to wait on ladies'.
lie commences business at the right end
He pays Cash for every thing, and sells all
for Cash, and that is the only right way to do
business in any part of the world, and if
Cheap John wanted a partner would be the
first man to apply. Now, Mr.. Chairman,
these are my reasons for sympathy as you
call it, with Cheap John.''
AT this juncture up jumps all hands, all
speaking at once.
al move, Mr.. Chairman, that Mr.. L. be
expelled from this honorable body.'
s'Agreed i'' says II hands.
Mr.. L., " will leave if you call this nm
honorable body. Good night!'
Going ont, MIR. l.. was heard to saw, ssWell
have had the conscience ache for a long
time. thank God can now sleep at night.
something | have not done for a long time -
Just at this moment awoke from nv long
and tedious dream, and found myself living
on the broad of my stomach, with my mouth
wide shut, and my right foot hanging out of
bed and chntzes playing checkers on my
big toe nail.