The Placer herald. [volume] (Auburn, Placer County, Calif.) 1855-1991, 1862-11-29
NUMBER 13.
CLIPPINGS.
Ohio Election..-Om cial.

Democrat, 1885, In 1851, lOd (Rep.)
for Governor, received 2O6, ,997, and Jewett,
(Dem.) ISL ,794.
A little girl went into = large drug store,
and, walking up to the proprietor, said in
half whisper: "If little girl hain't got no
money, how much chewin' gum do you give
her for nothing"
1t is said that sheriff is the most disa-
greeable sueipg machine extant. Many q
poor fellow is completely "sewed up" BY
him.
Senator Hunter made quite blunder and
electrified the rebel Senate, some time ago,
by Inadvertently swearing one Of the clerks
to support the Constitution Of The United
States.
The young lady who promises one gen.
tleman and marres another hasn': "the
right ring" about her.
The Commissioners upon emancipated
slaves in the District of Columbia have de.
cided that about 1900 slaves shall be paid
for by the Government.
The day after the battle Of Antietam the
33d Massachusetts Regiment could only
muster 80 men out of 500 who went into
the fight.
"Dang me, if don't believe this world is
wheebarrow," said jolly inebriate, as he
rolled along the pavement, "and Pm the
wheel revolving on the haxs. Now I'm in
the mud" said he as he fell headlong into
gutter, "and now I'm on dry land" as he
fetched upon the curbstone His conclud.
ing remark, as his boots followed his head
down an open cellarway, "now the wheels
broken and the vehickle is out of repair.'
"Ma, get down on your hands and knees
minute" What on earth shall do that for
pet'" "Coz | want to draw an elephant"
selling to the Constitution as the ship
Urecked mariner clingS to the last plank,
when night and the tempest close around
im."-Dania Webster.
A young girl remarked, when other girls
were making fun of her short skirts and
pants and affected to be much shocked at
the exhibition thereof at party: "Ifyod'd
only pull up your dresses about your necks
where they ought to be, they'd be as shcr t
as mine."
ABoLIsnIyG SLAVERY Ar@KEY WEST,
FLoR!DA.--It is stated that Col Morgan, of
the Nineteenth New York Volunteers, now
commanding the military post at Key West,
Florida, has, by our latest news from that
point, seen fit to issue proclamation de.
claring all the slaves on that Island to be
Tree. Where does Col. Morgan obtain such
autocralical powers?
SUSPENSION OF THE TAX LAw.-The
Wheeling Inteligencer learns that the gov
ernment has decided to suspend the opera
tions of the tax law in Western Virginia for
the present.. 1t will not pay at present to
put the machinery in motion for so small an
amount as would be collected.
Congress provided that at a certain dste
this law should 60 into effect. Where does
Mr. Lincoln derive authority to suspend its
operation in Western Virginia.
In one of the Ports mouth daily schools.
a boy who was reading the morning lesson
from the New Testament renderd one verse
thus "'rhis is the haircomb, let us kill
him." 1t sbonld have been, "This is the
heir; come," &c.
Some of the best men have left the world
bitterly reproaching themselves for two
the improvement of time.
Nothing was so much dreaded in our
schoolboy days as to be punished by sitting
between two girls.-Ah the force of educa,
tionl In after years We learn to submit to
such things without shedding a tear.
MoCLELLAN's HEADQuARrERs- the
time of Stuar,'s raid The rebels passed only
five or six miles from McCIellan's headquar'
ters. but Stuart did not know what a prize
he might have secured. The next day the
headquarters were removed,
Friend at our elbow says that in meet,
ing sable son of Africa, yesterday, be Was
accosted by him thus:
"Massa (taking off his hat) | doesn't 60
to Canada now; stay here | does De
white genI'men de ones go to Canada now
a days. Ha? ha! he! he!'
DEATH TO BEARs.-The Board Of Super.
visors of Marin county have ordered twenty
dollars to be paid from the County Treasury
for bear scalps. The bounty 50 per head
for the varmints
EXEMPT ANYHow.-The Governor OF
Pennsylvania has ordered that in all cases
where persons who have been drafted and
aresexempt from military service by posi-.
tive law, notwithstanding they did not pre-,
vously take out their exemption papers,
shall be discharged, and their names stricken
from the rolls.
An OLD bachelor says be used to be ter
ribly bitten by mosquitoes until be got mar
ried, when the bloodhhrsty Williams found
out that his wife was much the tsnderest,
and he hasn't been troubled since. Talk Of
the sel6shness of old bache ors.
A Judge in In Llama threatened to Ans a
lawyer for contempt of court. Il have ex.
pressed no oonten t for The court" said
tha lawvar son ibe contrary 7 have car0t