Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1862-02-08
The Reason we Separated.

is not very euphonious name, still il
suits me, and, as far az ! know, was al
ways satisfactory to Augustine. Hel
mother did, | believe, at the earliest
stage Of my intimacy with her daugh-
ter, stiff disdainfully when it was pro
nounced; but my good conduct, and
the steadincss Of my devotion over
come her objections, if she had any,
and Tubbs by maternal consent, was
added to Augustine Clarissa. No; the
cause Of onr separation grew up in our
family. Could | have looked into fl-
turity-had | foreseen-but no matter
Augustine is with her mother; and as
that old lady is up to the average of
mother-inlaws, she is very likely to
stay there. [ will be concise with my
statement. I am not fond of cats
Candidly, detest them. My conster-
nation can therefore be imagined when
upon returning home one evening, I
saw, slumbering serenely, in the lap Of
Augustine, young specimen Of this
species Of animal. [ mildly protested
my motherin-laW's statement to the
contrary notwithstanding. Ircpresen-
ted as glowingly as I was able, the
treachery Of the animal, its immortality,
its proneness to dissipation and late
hours, and expressed it as my unalter-
able opinion that no well regulated fam
lily could tolerate them. But no; II
wished to deprive her Of every COM
fort" and the inevitable mother, who
was present, added that II was jealous
Of the cat" [ yielded. Under my
wife's care, the beast prospered. It's
power for mischief rapidly matured.--
I'll say nothing Of its forays upon the
milk jug--of its sampling every article
of food before I partook Of it,-but
come at once to the catastrophe that
desolated my home. The cat grew
dissolute, as [ knew it would. Absent
all night, and completely done up in
the morning. [ was shocked, and OBJ
iected .strenuously. Augustine wept,
and restrained it Of its liberty AL
ways confident Of the integrity of the
animal, she resented and expressed no
doubt Of It's purity Of character. Our
est"angement began here. We had re-
tired belIigerently. We slept. / was
aroused suddenly, by Augustine ex-
claiming:
"Thcy are numbering a child some
where p
I listened. 1t was a cat. 4 male cat
beneath our window. I said So Wheth-
CT our interesting feline had made an
engagement that she was unable to
keep, or that the gentleman below was
merely warbIing his attachment to her,
I cannot say. There was a vigor in
his sqaalling that suggested broken
promises, and q finish that stamped
him as an old performer. His initial
note was terrific, and he rose, by slow
stages, TO a grandeur that curdIed the
blood. a brick would have been of
incalculaoIe value. Ny proposition to
Augustine to throw out our cat to ap-
pGase him, turned on the tears, and I
abandoned the idea. Iresolyed to ex-
pend the water pitcher. The move,
ment was arrested by squall so rasp-
ing, so defiant, that Augustine shrek
ed. The minstrel below was Joined by
another cat. There was short, fierce
colloQuy-a noise like an engineer test |
ing the water III his boicr-and a COM
bat ensued. I conceived an idea. J
had seen, on the stage, the heroine of
the piece throw herself between two
rivals, and crying "Forbearn' spoil a !
very pretty fight. acted OH this. I
tore from her nightly resting place the
cause Of the contention outside, and
hurried to the window. Augustine di-
vined my intention, and threw herself
upon her favorite.
LET go!"
''Neyer!"
We both pulled. Augustine had the
tail. 1t was a strongly united one, and
stood the pressure. An idea. / let 90
the agitated quadruped, who immedi-
ately established the truthfulness Of my
previous assertion by corrugating her
benefactress. Augustine clinging con
vnlsivcly to the tail, furthered the exc
cution. | am here accused of fendish !
cruelty-of regaining possession Of the
cat and throwing it with 4 portion of
Augustine attached out Of the window.
To those who know me, denial is un-
necessary. Augustine threw herself in
to the maternal arms next morning,
whereupon the maternal arms threw 3
bench at me. I have done my own
cooking since. Am likely to do So
But wish it distinctly understood, that
if from the deprivation Of my society,
the unhappy woman finds an early
grave, it is not [ who did it. It's her
mother. LIT the finger Of scorn be