The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1862-06-26
The War Fever in Baldwinsyille,

AS soon as ia recooperated my pnyslkH sys-
tenn, l went over into the village. The peasantry
was glad to see me. The sehoolmaster said it
was cheering to see that gigantic intelleek among
'em onct more. That's what he called me. L
like the schoolmaster, and aiers send him to back
er when / m OF on a tIaSiiE campane. Besides,
he is a very sensible man. Such men must be
encouraged.
They don't git news very fast in Baldinsville,
as nothing but a plank road runs in there twiste
a week, and that's very much out of repair. So
my nabers wasn't much posted up In regard to
wars. Squire Baxter sed he'd voted the dimi-
cratic ticket for going on forty years, and the
war was a dam black republican lie. 10 Stack
pole. who kills hogs for the Squire, and has got
a powerful muscle in his arms, sd he'd bet So
he could lick the Crisis in a fair, stand-up tight,
If he wouldn't draw a nife on him. So it went
sum was for war, and sum was for peace. The
schoolmaster, however, sed the Slave Oliga-ky
must cover at the feet of the North ere a year
bad flowed by, or pass over his dead corps.
IS Esto perpetus,'' he added. And :. Sine qua
non, also :" sed 1. sternly, wishing to make a
impression onto the villagers. "Requiescat in
pacei' sed the schoolmaster. Too tru. too
tru," / answered, s. it's a scanderlus fact J"
The newspapers got along at last, cbock full OF
war. and the patriotic fever fairly bust out in
Baldinsyille. Squire Baxter sed he didn't believe
in Coercion, not one of 'em, and could prove by
a file of Eagles Of Liberty in his garrit that 1t
was all a Wing lie. got up to raise the price of
whiskey and destroy our other liberties. But the
old Squire got putty riley when he heard how
the rebels was cuttin up, and he sed he reckoned
he should skour up his old masSjt and do a little
s1uare ftsin for the Old Flag. which had alers
Jain on the ticket he'd voted. and he was too old
90 Bolt now. The Squire is all right at heart,
but it takes longer for him to fill his venerable
Bifer with steam than it used to when he was
young and frisky. As l previously informed
you, / am Captin of the Baldinsville Company.
l riz gradooally but majestically from drummer's
Secretary to my present position. But / found
the ranks wasn't full by no means. and m
menced for to recroor. Having notist a gineral
Crisis to wear eppylits, / determined to have my
company composed exclusively of officers, every
body to rank as Brigadeer- Ginrai. The follerin
was among the warts questions which l put to re-
croots
De you know a masked battery from a hunk of
gingerbread?
Do you know a eppylit from a piece of chalk?
IF trust you with a real gun, how many men
of your own company do you speck you can man
age to kill during the war?
Have you ever had the measles, and if 50, how
many?
How are you now?
Show me your tongue, &c., &c. Sum Of the
questions was sarcasstical.
The company filed up rapid, and last Sunday
we went to the meeting house in full uniform. |
had a seris time gittin into my military harnes,
as it was bilt for me many years ago but | finally
got inside of it. tho it fitted me putty clost.
Howsever, once into it. / looked fne-in fact,
avs inspirin. ID you know me, Mrs. Ward?"
said | walkin into the kitchen.
Know you, you old fool? Of course do"
| saw at once that she did.
/ started for the meetin house. and I'm fraid
l tried to walk too strate. for l cum very near
fallin over bacards and in attemptin to recover
myself, my sword got mixed up with my legs,
and fell in among a choice collection of young
ladies, who was standin near the church door a
~.o., Al. -, xo.- IL - l-k ELL
of, and sumhow my coat-tails got twisted round
my neck. The young ladies put their handker-
cheers to their mouths and remarked .tTe he,"
while my ancient ,emale single friend Sary Peas
ley, bust out a loud iarf. She exercised her
mouth SO violently that her false teeth fell out
onto the ground
I" Miss Peasley," sed I, gettin up and dustin
myself, : you must be more careful with them
store teeth of your'n, or you'll have to gum it
again !"
Methinks / had her.
I'd bin to work hard all the week, and / felt
rather snoopy. I'm 'fraId l did git half asleap,
for on hearin the minister ask, !. Why was a man
made to mourn 2" / sed, . l Civ it 0p,' havin
a vague idee that it was q eonundrum. 1t was e
remark, for the whole meetin house
lookt at me with mingled surprise and indigna-
ton. I was about risin to a pint of order, when
it suddenly occurred to me whar | was, and l
kept my seat, blushin like the red, red rose-so
to speak.
The next mornin I rose with the lark. IN.
B. l don't sleep with the lark, though. A
goak.)
My little dawter was execootin' ballias, accom-
panyin herself with the hand origin, and she
wisht me to linger and hear her sing: "Hark l
hear an angel singin, a angel is now onto the
"Let him wing it. my child ~ sed I, bucklin
on my armer, 8. | must forth to my Biz"
We air progressin pretty well with the drill.
As all are commandin ofissers, there aint no ielu-
sy and as we are all exceedin smart, faint worth
TO try to outstrip each other. The idee of
a company komposed exclusively of Comman-
ders-in-C Chiefs, orriginatered, | spose l skureely
need say, in these Branes. Considered as a idee,
fatter myself it's putty betty. We've got all
the tackticks at our tongs' ends, but what We
excel in is restin muskits. We can rest
muskits with anybody. Our corpse will do its
dooty.
We so to the aid of Columby-we fight for the
Well be chopt inter sassige mete before
We'll exhibit our c~oattales to the foe. Well
fight ill there is nothin left of us but our little
toes, and even they shall defartly wiggle! Ever
of thee.-A. Ward.
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