The Burlington weekly hawk-eye. [volume] (Burlington [Iowa]) 1860-1876, 1862-04-19
as.T haaed if
JUNE. 1889.
LETTER FROM ORPHEUs G. KERR.
Captain william and Captain 5Iunchau.
sen In q Duel. stH g.
From The New York sunday Mercury

4 B. <
| From the New York Sunday Mercury.
Wet towels, soda water, and few wholesom,
kicks in the rear having rendered company 8
| regiment s, yackerel Brigade, sufficiently Ger
| tain OF their legs to march polka in tie spsce
| OF an ordinary corDfeld, Captain William Brown
placed himself at their head, and Hauked by a
canteen and an adjutant, the combined pageant
was jest about to move on a reconnoiteriDg expe.
dition as came up.
"Hal' says William, hastily placing his shirt.
fIill over the neck Of bottle that sccidentalIy
peeped from his bosom. 81 am about to lead
these noble beings on the path of glory, and YOU
shall participate in the beams"
Without wora turned his left wing; and as
the tand, which consisted of fat Dutchman and
a nightkey bugle, struck up "Drops of Brandy, y
we moved onward, like the celestial vision of
childhoods dream.
ing through the golden-tinted windows of some
grand old cathedral, fell the softcned light of
that April afternoon on budding Nature, as we
halted before piece OF woods Just this side of
Strasburg. On the new leaves of the trees in
front OF US the sunshine coined thousand phan-
tom cataracts Of specie, and in the vale below us
delicate purple shadow wrestled with the hill
reflected fire Of the sun. Deep silence fell on
Company B. Regiment B, Mackerel Brigade the
band put bis instrument on the ring with the
key Of his trunk, and William softly reconnoitred
through spy-glass furnished with cork. Sud.
denly the tones OF a rich, manly voice swelled up
from the bosom of the valley.
" Hush!" SAYS William, sternly eyeing the band.
who had just hiccupped-"'tis the Hymn of the
Contraband."
We all listened, and could distinctly hear the
following words OF the singer:
"Thsy're holding camp meeting in Hickory Swami.
U, let my people go,
De preachers so dark dat he carry um lamp,
U, let my people 60.
De brudders am singing this jubilee tune
Two dollars year for the Weekly Tribune.
U, let my people 60 ~
AS the strain died away in the distance the
adjutant slapped his left leg.
why" said he, dreanily, "thst must be
Greeley down there"
No" says William, solenniy, "it is one OF
the wronged children of tyranny warblng the
suppressed hymn of HE injured people 1t is a
sign," says William, trembling with bravery.
that the Southern Contederacy is somewheres
around; for when you hear the squeak of the
agonized rat" said William, philosophically, "you
may be sure that the sanguinary terrier is on the
war path"
Scarcely had he spoken, my boy, when there
emerged from the edge Of the wood before us
countenance and much shirt-collar. This officers
face was awhisker plantation, through which his
eyes peeped forth like two snakes coiled up in
window brush His dress was shoddy, his air
was toddy and yard Of valuable stair carpet
enveloped his manly shoulders.
Halt" said he to his file of reptiles, whose
general effect was that of congress of rag .mer.
chants just come in from happy speculation in
George Law muskets.
Sir" said the officer, bowiug in graceful
semlcircle, Il am somewhat in the First Family
way, own plantation, drink but little water at
home, and have the honor to be Captain Nun
chausen, Of the Southern Confederacy.
Dost fence" says William, grimly drawing
his sword
Fence " says Captain Munchauscn, also
drawing his disguised crowbsr. "Did'st ever
hear, boy, or read, of that great fencer of the
olden time, the Chevalier st. GeorgeY"
Often" says William, in tone that was as
plainly the echo of a lie as is that of the deli.
cate female eater Of slate pencils, when she saws
that she could never bear pork and beans.
SWELL" says Captain Munchausen, hauehtilv
the Chevalier was SO extremely jealous of NV
superior skill, thas he actually went and died
nearly a hundred years before was born"
Soap" says William. like one talking in his
sleep. is sometimes made with powerful lie."
by Chvalry" says Captain Munchausen
cholerically 81 swear, never told single lie
in all my life"
"a single lie ~ says William, abstractly; "ah
no tor the lies OF the Southern Coafederacy
are all married, and have large families"
The domestic speech, my boy, was too much
for Munchausen Asking one of the rag mcr
chants to hold his three ply overcoat, and care
lully removing his iragmentary cap. that none of
the cold potatoes should spill out of it, he plant
ed the remains of bis right boot slightly in ad-
vance of the skeleton OF his left, and tbundered:
"'Sblood |"
Quick as the lightning leaps along the cloud
did Captain William Brown send the great toe of
his dexter foot to meet that of his foe: his D,
mascus blade lay across the opposing brand, and
he whispered:
"'Sdeath |"
1t was beautiful slightly Minerva it was.
"Stop!" says William, suddenly hauling in his
weapon again. "it shall never be said that |
took advantage of a foeman."
AS he uttered these memorable words, my boy.
this ornament OF the service plucked an infant
demDohn from his fearless bosom and mspnani-
mousy passed it to his antagonist.
A soft c1mmotion was visible in the whiskers
OF Captain Munchausen-the suburb of a smile
as it were /; cavern opened in their midst. the
vessel ascended curvinearly thereto, and the
sound was as the trickling of water down A
mountain gulch.
The adjutaut took his seat on the sleepinr
body OF the band, and with pencil and paper pre.
pared to record the combat. The opposing
champions faced each other, and as William
once more raised his blade he smiled horribly.
Then, my boy, was witnessed scene to make
old Charlemagne paladins dance High inks in
their graves, and call all the Artusian knights to
LIE again. Carte ct iercei but it was spectacle
for Hector and Achilles. With swords pointed
straight at each others noses did the yalorous
heroes skip wildly back, and then as wildly for.
ward. Slam bang crack! smack right and
LEFT over and under parry, feint, and premiere
force! Now did they hop ieriy along the op-
poslte sides OF the road, eyeing each other like
demoniac Thomas Cats upon the moonlit fence.
Ever and anon did they dart furiously to the
center, cutting the blessed atmosphere to inyisi.
bic splinters and staying imaginary legions.
But crisis is at hand In one of his terri
BILE chops the cool and collected William Brown
brought his deadly weapon down full upon the
knuckles of the enemy. But for the fact tha,
Villains sword was not quite as sharp as the
side Of an ordinary three-story house. Munchau.
sens hand would never more have welded tren
chant blade. As it was, he hastily dashed his
brand to the ground, crammed his knuckles into
his mouth, struck up an impassoned dance. and
mumbled, in extreme agitation:
"Golfre your cursed abolition soul 10
II was beautiful, my boy, to see how the
calm William Brown leaned upon his sword anG
smiled
"Ah p says William, $50 perish the foes O
the Union, the Constitution, and the Enforce
ment OF the Laws. have bruised the Confed
eracy Adjutant !" says William, in sudden burs
OF pardonable exultation, ''score one for III,
United States of America"
Now, it happened, my boy, that IS William
said this, he turned to where the Adiutant wa
sitting, and bent down to give particular direc
tons. His body was thus made to assum,
| somewhat OF the shape of the letter U. IN,
curve being sharply toward the enemy. In a,
instant Capt. Munchausen regained his sword
grasped it after the manner OF Hail. and wi,l
prodigious spank, applied it to the unguarde,
portion OF my hero's anatomy!
High sprang the almost assassinated william
into the air, with sparks pouring from bis eyes
and Union oaths kissing from bis working laws
"Adjutant |" roarsd Captain Muncbausep
! score one for the Southern Confederscy.n
No sooner had William reached the vroup.
and picked up the cork that had fallen from hi