The western Democrat. [volume] (Charlotte, N.C.) 1852-1870, 1862-09-02
AN INTERESTING DIALOGUE.

Seboolmaster-Which is TIE hardest and lon
.gest road to travel
Pert Boy-the "On to Rchiaond' road, In
course.
Scboomaster-Nh similarity is there in the
career of Napoleon the LIST and that of Napoleon
the ID?
Pert Boy-Napoeon tfle list "sk edaddled" from
Russia and Napoleon the I'd ditto from Richmond.
Schoomaster-lf an army can travel 20 miles
a day, and Mcclellan and his army were 49, days
on the road between Washington and Richmond,
what is the approximate distance from one place
to the other?
Pert Boy-9,700 miles
Enthusiastically doesn't the anaconda"
crush the rebellion" in its coils
Pert Boy-Kase he's kinder "let down in the
lines" around Richmond, and his "puckerin
strings" have sorter gin in about Vicksburg.
Schoolmaster-Wha is the reason the "wa Of
fire" hasn't consumed the rebellion before this
Pert Boy-kase it's been stopped by the Hills
and Stonewalls in old Virgnny, the FORESTS in
Tennessee.
Schoolmaster-Give me an example Of the rela-
tive position of man and animals in the scale Of
being?
Pert Boy-Whitc Man, Ingun Darkey Monkey,
Dog Hog and Butler the Beast
SchoOlmaster-Whatdo the Yankees say they
are fighting for?
Pert Boy-For the CONSTITUTION and the re-
construction of the Union.
Observation-Disclosures are they fighting for?
Pert Boy-For rice, cotton, turbacker niggers,
shugar, Fort Sumter; and IL dollars month
Schoolmaser-Who the two most prom
incnt men just before the country
Pert Boy-Uncle Abe, the Gorilla, and Morgan,
the Guerrilla
Schoolmaster-What were McClelan's orders
to his army when retreatng from Richmond!
HOV-EIlIu
cheap"
SchOolmastcr-All right, you can subside; when
the other boy comes in you can go up next to
head.
Pcrt Boy-Thankee, sir, and if you want to
know anything else call on mc.-iMyUstd Con-
shtUtiOndiiSt.
A COOP HIT.-While the Yankees were quar-
tered in Hanover there was a Iepartce made to
of their officers by member of my church,
which is too good to be lost The person
fine old mother in Israel, full of good sense, and
Astounding in Biblical knowledge The Yankees
had been troubling her good deal, stealing her
corn, potatoes, and shooting her hens, until she
very much exasperated. One evening a very
gay looking officer was staggering about the yard,
cursing and swearing, insulting the family, and
making great boasts about taking Richmond and
cursing the rebels. The old lady took it very
coolly, replying to him with Ermness but polite
ness. At last, thinking to destroy all her hopes
Of her success, he said "Why, madam, we have
seen Richmond. From balloon we can see
the very streets" "Yes," replied the old lady,
very coOlly, Sand Moses climbed Mt. Psgah, and
saw the promised land, but he never got there"
1t is needless TO add that the Federal vented his
wrath in oatbs loud and deep, and then disappeared
rather chagrined by the scrptural alluson.-
Exchange paper.
HOOP-POLE BUTLER.-Ihe jackson MiSsis-
sippian has the following story about Butler, "the
Beast 1t says it has it from gentleman we'll
informed of the Generals antecedents. 1t says
The eyes of this monster nged that
one looks up and the other down, so that when
you standing before him you find one of his
eyes directed to the toes of your shoes and the
other to the top of your hat. y Yankee standing
before him one day and noticing this extraordinary
range Of vsion exclaimed, you'd beat US all get
tin hoop poles you would :" "why ?" said the
General. "Because to get 'em straight, we have
to look from the top to the bottom, and then from
the bottom up to the top-but you can sight EN-
at one spy" The bystanders at once dubbed him
"IIOoppole Butler" This is doubtless the only
public incident of Buffers life, which does not ex-
cite horror or disgust. The joke has the true
Yankee marks. The habit of making jests of
personal deformity is almost universal in that man.
ly race.