Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1862-07-03
All Sorts OF Items.

segars, smoked and unsmoked--by God
frey Brown"
"Pray madam, why did you name your
old hen Macduff ?" "Because, sir, /
want her to LAY on"
"Among all my boys" said an old
man, 81 never had but one who took af-
ter me, and that was my son Jack, who
took after me with club"
"The oceans speaks eloquently and ior-
ever" says Beecher. "Yes," retorts
Prentice, land there is no use telling it to
dry up %
A military solderin Rhode Island be-
ing blamed by his captain for not hav-
ing lock to his gun, tied a paddock to
it.
The parent who gives a loved child in
marriage but pays back to wodlock the
good gift it bestowed upon him.
81 say, Jim, what work did you do
first % asked one lad Of another. "Why,
CIT teeth. OF course" replied the other,
instantly.
Most men work for the present, few
for the future. The wise work for both,
for the future in the present, and for the
present in tho future.
There are great men enough to incito
us to aim at true greatness, but not
enough to make us fancy that God could
not execute his purpose without them.
A club of hen pecked husbands met
once week--that meeting being their
only day of enjoyment and rest. When
they adjourned they called it the rising
of the tied.
The gents who went fishing with the
North pole, used Mason's and Dixon's
line. Finding the pole to long they split
1t with one of the axes of the earth.
The St. Louis News says that General
Curtiss is sterling officer" Though
he isn't for sale, we trust that on his re.
turn from Arkansas he will bring Ster-
ling Price.
Reckless lover-"Dearest Sapphira,
otwithstanding tho increased taxation
upon dresses. jewelry, watches, will you,
o will you be mine %
"WnY, DOCTOR" said a lady, "you
talk as though horse was better than
man." "He is," said the doctor, "ho ncv-
er dcceives a lady--he brides his tongue,
he follows no fashion and he hates hoops"
Every man who acquires fortune by
industry is treasure to himself and fam
lily, and profit to his country, by add
ing to the common stock 1t becomes n
bond which unites him to society.
BY six qualities may fool be known |
anger without cause, speech without
profit, change without motive, inquiry
without object, putting trust in stran-
'er, and wanting capacity to discrimin-
Ite between friend and foe.
An editorial Office is located immedia- :
ely over recruiting Office, and the edi-
or says the fling and drumming drives
very thing out Of his head. What
there must be down over his
'hirt collar
A Printers apprentice who attempted
o do the agreeable to n clcrgyman's
laughter. was shocked when her father ,
the tcXt-"My daughter is
tormented with devil"
A letter from Nashville says "The
hardest fight the Union men here in Ten
lessee have is to defend themselves against
he internal machines sent down South in
he shape of Abolition speeches and ac-
ion in Congress"
If a man cheats you, cease dealing with
nm; if he is abusive, quit his company;
he ISLANDERS you, always take good care
o live so that nobody will believe him.
An old batchelor says he used to be
crribly bitten by mosquitoes until he got
married, when the od.thirsty Williams
ound out that his wife was much the ten
lercst, and he has not been troubled
ince. Talk Of tho selfohness of old
bachelors.