Pomeroy weekly telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy, Meigs County, Ohio) 1860-1866, 1862-10-10
COLT and GGisdum.

COLT aud GGlisdom.
.Has- Among the conditions, Of sale by
an auctioneer in mialand' county wax
the followiag-"The highest bidder tc
be the buyer, unless some gentleman bids
more"
Il Bar The Damshire editor who wrote
his editorials with chalk on the sefss
: ef his shoes and went barefoot while the
printers set up the copy, has purchased
Il ream of second hand envelops, and en-
gagged a girl to turn them inside out.
,@A housekeeper says: Take a
tumbler full of hop beer or ala,. and
stir in wheat -four until it Is about as
thick as batter for griddle cakes, and
let it stand for two hours, and you
will then"lrave as good fresh yeast as
you can get in cool weather.
~A lady, paying visit to her
d'uehter who was, a young widow, asked
her why she wore the widows sarb so
long. Dear mamma, don't you see, >
replied the daughter: sit saves me the
expense of advertising for husband, as
every ene can see am for sale by pri-
vate eoatraet."
pF.WeH, Patrick,' asked the, doc
gtor BOW do you feel to day?'' e
''Och, doctor dear, L enjoy very poor
health, intirely. This rumatics is very
dissressin, indade; when I go to sleep
I,ity awake all night, and my toes is
swlled as large as a goose hens eggs.
ssoahen stand up fab down.ameftly.' =
sg- "Massa, pose I was to take an
Ak and knock your teef down your
throat, what would you do?''
%ssWhy. sir, would have you arrested
for assauts ssd battery."z ef
'fGealdn't do muffin wild me, dough. =
"Why rot?"
"CoEI-could prove taxi dental" "2.
@"Somehow or other, said Fred
erick the Great, ''Providence seems to
do the most. for the best disciplined
troops" ~:... .,......
go "I have always noticed said Napo-
Econ, "that Providence favors the heav-
lest battallions."
Z. t.Trust in Providence and keep your
powder dry said Cromwell
q sa5 Tke body of a middling sized man
contains pound Of phosphorus, which
if in a free state, aud infamed, would
burn him up and everything around him.
-EpcRaage. d. Il .' u. .....
"Can't be- says the Hartford Times;
1--WE know lots of old bachelors and an
tiquated naidens who haven't even
phosphorus enough In EN- to- make a
match"
@Anabbreyiation not tebe found in
the books, is to be found ON a tombstone
in Dunkirk. The m burners intended to
put an old aunt to sleep with the Gus
f"uary phrase:
'Let her rest IN peace. ~ 49,
But the space of the stone gave out
at the close Of the word cher" The
ready witted sculptor, however, inserted
the initials, and now the old lady sleeps
beneath the laconic bat ;atelligent ex-
preston, "Let her r-.Fps''5~s -
}p9 4 clergyman, in Connecticut, was
reading to his congregation, the beaati-
full and poetical psalm Of David, where
he5says:J sNfercy and truth are met to-
gether; Righteousness and Peace have
kissed each other" 4" At this passage, a
little girl I'M the assembly manifested a
great deal of interest, and whispered to
her. mother: F.That's just as TRUE as
you live. / see Righteous He'll kiss
Ing Peace Peabody behind the smoke
house: but how did the minister know
A1 nc. III A"l ?, ~. jr-s.t~s j
A SaIubrious Climate.
eiiA Yankee speculator, who had i'm
mense tracts of land for sale in the Far
West, used frequently to say, that gen.
tleman who was travelling there saw a
very old man sitting at the door of log
cabin, weeping bitterly.
'1dy friend, inquired the gentleman,
'what is the matter with you?"
why" replied theold man, s'daddy jist
gaveme an awful licking, cos [ wouldn't t
rock, graRdaddy to sleep" .-- -
g Ehe gentleman rode off, fully ats
aed with the salubrity and. health fulness
of the district, to produce such unparal-
lelled instances of longevity. ~
.sFha1.s WHATS ths Matter,
We have at last found the 9rigina ton
cf this popular phrase in the following,
clipped from an exchange: It is too
good to Keep. n friend of ours who
has been absent all Winter, returning a
few days since, called upon an. estima-
Bile lady friend. Ae was surprised to
find her confined to, sick bed. After
thelfrst salutations were over our friend
remarked, why Mrs. =, am very
sorry to find you ill-what is the mat
ter! Quietly reaching over to the back
Of the bed, the invalid turned down the
coverlid, disclosing beautiful infant,
wrapped in the embrace of the rosy God,
and said triumphantly-Thaf aohat's
The matter! ,..... . ...
s9- Applications for pay of teamsters,
employees of the Quartermaster's De-
partment, or for horses killed in the
Carvica should ne addressed to III on |