New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1862-05-12
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THE NEWSMONGEk.

The peculiar condition of affairs in this city
during the last three weeks has given birth to
new profession, the votaries of which are SO de-
voted, so industrious and enterprising, that we
think they deserve first class notice at our
hands. We speak of the collectors and retailers
of gossip and rumors- the newsmongers. These
individuals are untiring and sleepessly vigilant,
talented and original Hearing everything that is
to be heard, and believing great deal which they
do not hear. They live to be astonshed and to
astonish in turn, and seem to enjoy life to its ut
most extent, while performing labors which, were
they forced, would kill.
To thoroughly understand and appreciate them
it must be remembered that the collector Of news
does not always have within his reach data to go
upon, is forced by the peculiar charac:e :er of bis
profession to manufacture his own data, and upon
this is he to weave the web which is to allure and
deceive his clients and even himself He coins a
remarkable event to suit his purpose, and this
event he euarges and ~dilatcs into shape which
will be received with open mouth and erect ears
by his listeners. By species of inductive reason
ing he draws certain conclusions from certain
circumstances, and these conclusions, after a
proper course of preparation and illustration,
they give to the world, truths coming from the
most unquestionable authority.
There are few OF our citizens who have not met
one of these individuals pursuing his abors on the
street, during the past fortnight and who have not
been at times either elated or depressed by the
peculiar character of the information derived from
them. They can be seen on the principal thorough
fares almost at any hour, and it does not require
the formalities of an introduction to enable you to
enjoy the pleasures of their conversation, for they
| are as accommodating and as affable set of NOR
lis as ever the eyes of man bebeld. simple
| enquiring look directed towards them anything
about your movements indicating leisure and curl
osity-w attract them to your side and will induce
them to pour into your ears without hope of other
reward than your creduty, the collected labors of
| day.
| These men seem to know everything-from the
| latest movements Of both armies, to the probable
| price of soap six months hence. They will tell
| you to a dot what will be the next movement
under Mcclellan, or exactly at what time you may
| expect to hear of great and decisive battle,
| fought and won by Beauregard. They know the
! number and perSOnel of the armies of both the
contendng poWers-know the character and hab-
| its of the Generals, and the pedigrees of their
grand parents before them--will inform you pre-
| clsely why England withdrew from the alliance
| with France and Spain in the affairs of Mexico,
| and will tell you funny anecdote about Palmer
stoD's being humbugged into the alliance in the
first place. They know to an hour the period of
| the war between the United States and the Con-
| federate States-can tell you when the Foreign
powers will intervene or, that they will most GER.
| tanly keep clear of all intervention They know
Louis Napoleon's secret intentions far better than
the said Louis does himself; and if you exhibit on
your coantenance the slightest signs of disbelief
! will convince or confound you, by such cataract
! Of words and proofs that you will regret for a
m2nth that you we're so indiscreet as to question
their i-formation even by look.
| Bat the favorite theme of the newsmonger is a
| great battle. He snuHs one on every gale and
| seems to live only upon sulphurous smoke and
| leaden; hail. # Johnston and Beauregard had
| fought hah the battles which these gentry have
fougl, for them, or gained hundredth part of the
victories, the Confederacy would today be one of
| the recognized powers of the earth, and Uncle
Sam completely cleaned out. Their imagnations
| have turned the scale of victory on the Peninsula
| twice since the 30th ult on the side of Johnston
and at Co.inth, Beauregard stalks like a lion in q
ungle--master of the situation.
Then they are so kindly mindful of your own
personal vanities and affections. They have Just
heard of the heroic conduct of your brother in
Col. Roaster's regiment-how your cousin Long
shanks fought at Shiloh, and how your brother-in
law killed three of the enemy after being dsem
boweled by thrteen-inch. shell. He knows al
about these things, and leaves you so completely
gratified and elated that you believe every wore
he has said, although you have positive evidence
that none of your kith and kin have yet smet gun
powder.
We admire the newsmonger and enjoy his con
versation vastly. However, in the midst of oul
admiration for his talents, the thought intrudes it
self udon our minds, Does he serve any purpose
which is good? Had he not better be at work will
his hands, instead of his head and tongue? These
thoughts have had tendency, we confess, to lowe
the newsmonger in our estimation and are sappin&
the foundations of our respect for him. Yet as h.
has at times given us pleasure, we cannot find it il
our hearts to do him harnl--only we do wish tha
he would do something else and earn living.