The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1862-12-11

Orphe,ts' Dissertations Oh" the Ne"
Generals Cloths and on Naval Ar
tillery.
From the New York Mercury
" Noticing a circle Of Macker
el officers a short distance in my rear,
dismounted from Pegasus, and walk
ed thithel for greater speed, discover
ing that the brilliant staff were admir-
ing the great equestrian gambols of the
new General Of the Mackerel Brigade.
The new General is dignifed, mid
dleage chap,my boy, with a face which
expresses many whiskers, and an eye
to look you through and through when
your meaning is transparent. He is
not quite two yards high, has head,
which looks like a lustrous APPLE
dumping, dropped into the middle Of
a window brush, and graduates down
into his boots, without seeming to be
either growing oat of them, or runs
ming through them. And he is none
of your military popinjays, my boy,a
plastered with buttons and gold lace,
but an earnest, hard-working soldier.
His dress for the field is characterized
by genuine republican simplicity, and
consists of hard working ordinary
breeches, sternly patched; an earnest
pea-iacket, resolutely out at the elbows;
a pair straightforward slippers, un-
finchingly ragged around the toes, and
an untrihing silk hat, determincdly
mashed-in at various points. You feel,
as you look at him, my boy, that he
means hard work, and is Indifferent
to good cloths as long as he can save
his distracted country. On the ma es-
tic brow of true hero, my boy, a
shocking bad hat is far nobler, more
glittering crown than the circle of fill
thy lucre which surmounts the head Of
Europe's bloated despot. Grander is
the nightcap of Washington than
any style of army cap have yet seen.
The new General was mounted upon
a long tailed cob, my boy, and his
Workmanship thrilled this manly bosom
with rapture. Did he wish to deliver
an order to his aid, he but slightly
frightened the rein of his horse, and at
once the noble animal arose to his hind
legs and fred off pistol held for him
by an orderly. Did he wish to go the
rounds, he but touched the left flank
Of his horse, and straightway the sa>
gacious charger struck into a graceful
waltz, leaping over five barred gates
as no went along,a dashing through
hoops held aloft by the troops Did
he desire to approach one of his Gene
rails for consultation, he had but to
give a low whistle, and forthwith the
intelligent animal limped about on
three feet, as though lame, and drank
a bottle OF wine presented to him by an
orderly. Did he have an inclination
to review his troops, he was COMPEL
ed only to gently pinch his horses
neck, aud at once the graceful beast
laid down upon his side and pretended
to die as naturally as any human being
In short, my boy, it is argued from
the earnest new Generals bad cloths
that he will speedily bring the war to
a good close and from his being such
a particular horsemar, th&s he will
never become any party's Eootman.-|
But let me change my subject for a
time. and relate the great triumph of
our new naval artillery on Duck Lake,
which majestic sheet of water has re-
turned to the earth with the late rains
Rear Admiral Head, my boy, has SO
improved the deadly swivel>guu of the
Maokerel iron-plated squadron, that it
will send bali some distance without
kicking the gunner overheard. The
secret of this Improvement is known
only TO the Government, my boy, and
will be used to advantage when our
CORY conflict with combined Europe |
comes off. Il was on Thursday morn
ing,my boy,when an enthusiastic mill !.
tary mob, consisting of Capt. VIM.
Brown, Capt. Bob Shorty, and myself,
stood once more upon the familiar
shore of Duck Lake. The squadron,
which has been named the Secretary
TTelles," having been launched upon
the treachorous element oy Rear Ad,
miral Head and one Mackerel, We took
out our smoked glass and prepared
for the naval pageant. We could
plainly see the stern old Rear Admiral