The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1862-03-25

lunch, and don't want any, and | know | shal
die If don't 60 skating at once, | have
been waiting since ono O'clock and W. must
start right off You don't care for dinner
when you are taking caro- of mo, do you
James, dearG So get your skates and hurry,
please"
What could | do! | couldn't say I did
want my dinner after that, although, | felt
in my inuermost soul that such was tho fact
I yielded, and to tho fatal compliance trace
all my subsequent misforlune-for man with
out his dinner is no man at all. The fume
Of the dinner were gently waited out of the
dining room, but in vain. Slowly and sadly
! acendod to my room. had only timo 10
don my skating apparel, pocket a pistol heav.
/ lily charged with old Burbon, and half choke
myself with a cracker before Bridget knock
ed to say that "The young lady wished mo
TO hurry" and had to start off, a melancholy
sacrifice to a woman'S caprice.
Just as we got into tho street, sis came run
ming out, apparently in great haste, and call
ed me back.
"James," said she, ''please be careful to
remove all the oil cans from the vicinity be-
fore YOU commence. That's all. Good bye"
Oil cans" said Aramin,a, "what can she
mean"
Sure enough replied, bushing, never
,heless, up to the roots of my hair, "what can
she mean" Notwithstanding, knew what
she meant and suoro vengeance.
Before had fairly realized the Importance
Of this discovery (which did not take a mo
ment to find out,) had returned in front Of
Aramnta, who was arranging her manifold
draperos preparatory TO start. Designing
to produce a profound impression, | struck,
with assumed carelessness, gro ful attitude
| had spent some time in acquiring on my
pallor skates. Indeed, on them, could do
it first rate; for by putting the knees together
aud pressing tho fcot n little ou'wards, YOU
can maintain almost any position you may
desire. But alas ! was sp edily reminded that
| was standing on something very different
from parlor skates. Just as Aramnta looked up
with An admiring glance, putting the final
touch upon her multitudinous apparel 10y that
iudcscrbable twich with which ladies al
ways announced Themselves as "rcady,' and
exclaimed, in a tona Of rapture, 'Isnli heav-
enIy?' felt my legs slowly rcccding from
each other, aud starting off sideways on their
separate anl individual responsibility. I mur
ing frantic effort to bring them together,
with no more eff ct, however, than if they
had belonged to different persons. Paror
.katcs only roll backwards and forwards, and
a side movement not coming within the range
Of NY previous experience :, found me wholly
unprcpa'od. Ny fe,t Slid fl further and
further apart, and stretched and stretched
to accompany them till actually every bone
in my body seemed to ache, but no avail
The human fiame is ;ot a pair Of co passes,
aud found myself obliged when my feet
were some distance apart, to tumble or split.
So tumb,ed. OF course, the moment
touched the ice ! Immediately commenced 10
fix my skates lnlcrd, have no recolIec-
ton OF ever sooing any ono tumble who didn't
comm. nce 10 fix his skates. 1t is singular
clrcu instance, bat almost exactly the same
may be seen on the road every day. a gen.
hcman will bc observed passing everybody At
, 40 Gait, and everybody is all right; but
when he reaches some Cnc whoslarts after aud
passes him in = 80, something Immediately
happens to his harness, obIging him to pull
mp into a corner Of the fence and fix it, This
is n curious coincicucc, for which [ acknowl.
edge myself wholly unable TO account.
| rot up rs soon as my skates were fixed
and assisted Aramiuta to her feet. A that
beautiful (but somewhat large) creature en-
trusted herself confiingly to my protection
f.lt her weight (which roughly estimated
at lGj pound,) as she leaned upon my arm
for support, wi the same sensations that tho
man must have experienced on taking posses.
sion Of the Gle hant which ho bad drawn in
lottery. We started beautifully, but on
the third stroke Araminta, without any;eartLly
reason that | could see, grasped my arm
franticaly, threw her head back, and sat
down, moe like thousand Of bricks than
anything else that [ ever saw. | tried to
stop her, but you might as well have tried TO
stop an avalanche from sliding or an NJ. G.
from speaking. She looked heavy, but she
teh twice as heavy as she looked, aud my at
tempt to save her only resulted in the down
fall of both of Us. We came down "solid,"
and sharp ''crack," as though the ice had
given away under the pressure, wa. distinctly
audible. | stared, and Arauinta scroamed,
but nothing was TO be seen. Pretty soon
strong smel of whisky began to peryade the
air. Araniuta, who is Temperance" to ,he
back bone sniil,'d the olor with intense dis
gust, and remarked, "that any ono who would
come TO any place where there were ladies,
smelling as that man did who had Just pass
ell, was no gentleman" | acquiesced, Of
course, and muttered something about great
brute" At the same time could not help
folici!atng myself on my discretion in putting
my whisky into my coat tail instead OF my
breast pocket where Arminta would have
discovered it to certainty. But, on putting
my hand into my pocket | was horrifed to
discover, 10y getting my fingers cut, that that
last "crack' had been the death kncll Of my
flask, that it was reduced to fragments, and
the odor in question arose from my saturated
pocket 1t was first class Bourbon, and
could be smeled quarter Of mile! Every
one turned as we passed, and shifted and
started to see what made "that smell " and
policeman began to follow US "afar off,
My charmcr was not greatly pleased at the
public celebrity she had so suddenly ATTAINED,
although rs yet unc ncous of the cause.
We started again. This time she slipped
AMI bit my shin with her skates, in a way
that would have brought Tears in the eyes Of
a pawnbroker, tripping me up, and Of cource
we went down together. uttered single
ejaculation, more emphatic than usual in polite