Delaware State journal and statesman., 1862-11-04


fompkius throws my shawl over my shoullers Y
md offers his arm with All enlprsssement that
would be fattering indeed If it were caused by
my thing but the hdgets. Similarly, II is not,
fear, religious feeling which prompts him tO ar
rlve in church Il quarter OF an hour before the
earliest Of the congregation make their appear
ance, for otherwise he would not be rubbing his
hat round with his pocket handkerchief, aud
"Now, my love, ute you ready"
when the clergy man is saying the beuedicliop.
ToosoOnsm in place Of worship is not indeed
conducive to devotion. The plethoric btadle,
vino will uot venture to yawn for the next two
hours, opens his mouth wide enough when |
lompkins and myself are the only spectators
while the pew openers, who are all pety aud |
cnrisies when the proper time arrives, do not |
deny themselves, on account If our untnely |
pr.seuce, the interchange OF parocha gossip
In this manner, have htuome invouutariy |
pussessed of the Knowledge Of which Of our
neghhOrs have not paid for their Pew rents this |
slx months, "no, nor means TO pay 'em :" Vi
which greedy after ha-socks aud Of whicA
ure .as mean al mean eau be, and would as soon
think Of giving Il Christmas box, let alone u
lleaster h0tferiu, TO poor ooman bless ye, as
of standing their eds IN that there pulpit"
Similarly, at the theatre, have overheard the
third Flute cOnide to the second BassOon his
opinion upon the merits of the manager, not as
respects his acting, hut as to his inadequate re-
muneration Of instrumental tlleui and have
learned from the Zig Drums own lips what he
was going 10 have tor supper, and the honest
reason amply sufficient, though the supper was
not) why he could not do himself the pleasure of
asking the Cymbal thereto. Worst OF al have
often been an unwilling listener to the couversa
tiun Of railway officials who, while they dust the
empty carriages, and rep.eni-h the grease boxes
lin the intervals OF more active business, while
the station is u waste, aud The ticket office her
mrlieally sealed), nie accustomed to interchange
communications concerning their dreadful
trade" which, although to themselves merely
exciting, like the novel in their penny illustrated
journals, have to the passenger that is. about to-
he an interest very real aud blood chilling -
They nurrate of the ." narrow shave" by which
tho Parliamentary Of yesterday afternoon WAS
ony just shunted in time ut the Junction, ere
the down express whrledby, and OF the admir-
able talent cvinced by Jem the eugine-dryer
who, although habitualy drunk, has never yet
been enabled at it, aud "who sleeps as comior-
table, between the stations, that he do, as though
his ENGINE was u fust class carriage. Lolk a-daisy
if the pubic only kuowd" Il heard one man re
mark 10 his fellows not II week agoj ''whnt pfeci-
Gus risky things they have get n trust to, it's
my belief We should have less old ladies' with
parrots aud pugdogs travelling by this hers
llne for pleasure WhcreupOn they all answered
True enough, mate aud broke into hendish
laughter.
This is unpleasant, but it is one of the least
evils Of railway travel 10 Tompkins' company
If he is Fdget on his own account, you may
imagine what a state he puts himself into when
hns wife aud family have to start with him. lie
may we'll talk about Catching the train, for if
the train were II species OF animal only to be
secured by excessive speed he could scarcely
excite us 10 mbre unreasonable eXertiUns. lie
begins ut goodness knows what hour in the
morning. Nov, my love, it is time you we've
up, for only consider how loug it takes you to
dress Yhsfe's pihtg cf taae Yes, that's what
you said when We lost the last train from Brigh-
ton that night, aud forfeited our return tickets,
He will never forget that unhappy Incident n
long MS he lives And remember, you've got
your dressing case to pack, Aribella-a-aa I
This is addressed at the tup OF his voice to our
unconscious daughter in the third floor back
Are you getting ready, Arabela n-l No, you re
not can hear by your tone that yuu are in
bed. There's not half an hour to spare, tell
you, nor anything like it. lour back hair never
takes you less than twenty minutes What Then
il sn't your own, I'm sure. You must PIN it on
behind, as have alwayR suspected YOU did
Susan! why isn't the water boiling? How ana
to shayeg Nurse, where are the childreny
want to kiss the darling children. This is false
IOmpkins only wants to make sure TINT they are
up and dressing They had better haye their
bonnets on before breakfast, aud then they will
be ready to start ut once
"rompkns," | cxclaim, "your conduct is
really disgracctut; hol,ouing cut lie that upon
the landing, and you without your dressing gown
l insist apon your putting on your dressing
gown
my love, it's packed up lie rejons; al
| packed it UP overnight, to save Time -
Everything thatis done by Iompkns is o save
time and If Time is Money, as Laye somewhere
seen It stated, my husband deserves to he very
rich man indeed But ia TRUTH SO far from saw
lug, he wastes time. IA eighth pat Of his ex-
istencc, or six wnole years NJ the very least for
he is fifty next hirthday-and looks older, on
account Of his WEARING 1imseil away so in this
munner-hayr been wasted in wailng ior umni-
buses ana trims, at the corners OF the streets,
or on railway platforms, v!st clippings Of Time
which he might have julieousiy ,pent in eating
his breakfasts with more rcgnld To digestion, in
finishing works II amusement or information
which he has impaiitntly flung away in devo-
tlunal exercises Qnstead oi u.tng very depreca-
table lnuguage when matters do not has pen
quick enough to please himl aud in letting hi,
wife and family have liuy peace. People can-
not see it, am thankful to say, TN account d
the clln0llne, which makes US appear all Of d
SIZE, but | am absolutely wasting away If il j.
hard for Il inan to bear the "naegug Of u wo-
man, which is, as one may say, lis huturAl bur
den, now can n woman bear to be Gagged at
An evil never contemplated by the sex an
perfectly well aware that lawGl, It little every
female has A natural tendency w to do ; to takt
II last look in the glass when she ought to be oa
her way down stairs; to add postscript to hei
letter while the postman is emptying the box al
the street eOruCr; TO kiss the chiluren secOu,
; time all round, while tue cab is waiting. anu
there is not n moment to spare. IL was neye
feminine to move quickly, and the garments o
tile present day have made 1t ueXt 10 impossible
We are-l confess it--gCncrnlly rather late -
There is therefore cettuin excuse for ont = beinl
iurr ed by PatcIfanih.s; but hat for ones he
ing deceived, Mr. Editor; that is The point whcl
wished to arrive NJ long ago, only it IS go diff
cult to arrive at IL point Nuthng, say, cal
excuse Tompkins for putting The clocks on o
terrifying us with inlse alarms respecting thu
hour. Many time when VIZ hnve been goinl
cut 10 dinner, has he put me u such trembl
that could scarcely do my hair, by holloaing vi
stulrs that the brougham would be at the doc
in less than five minutes. Now, Que cannot dc
ones hair (uhlcss one has ." the man" n-nne
Heaven knows am always trying To save Tomp
klns pocket whenever | cam. in five minutes
nor even in fifteen, After all our haste, TOO, vi
generally arrive ai our friends quarter Of M
hour before we are expected, and ind nobody ii
the drawng-room to receive US, 1t is 10 vail
that tell Tompkinf that G45 means I o'clock
When we send out our own invitations, it is witt
the greatest difficulty that | can prevent hin
from inserting the word ''sharp''--than which
can conceive nothing more vulgar -immelate,
= after the dinner hour. lie would never wait fo
anybody-''no not for the Queen Of Shebn," i
his ridiculous eXpresslon--if lie could have hi
] way and last week we were as nearly as pos
sible sitting down t. tnble without Mrs. dc Slo
!, coche, who is the daughter Of II bishop, an,
whOsa husband will one day be "A harquct How