New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1862-05-12

dreamy, and the most tri1ing noise or accident
siaraeq sisha me painfully When he was beside me,
brink Of tears. Ny friends, who observed ed the the
cnanee Id my demeanor, believed me in love with
Maiyern, . ana they were rejoiced for the sake of
| But had taken care that Malvern made M such ,
| mistake. frequently assured him that knew
nothing Whatever of love, except as imagined it:
but confessed to him that | was completely
eaea's9le0 re- q ny lnaaginations: and that re-
tanned him at my side because has 1ro1ship of me
,oas ne most beautiful study 7 could coaeeiJe Of
| for 1ay idealpdssioaa.
" Poor Malvern! The cruelty that nsw sell.
ashly practised was of the most refined and tortur
ing character. allowed him to see me overcome
with the tender anguishments of loye--yet not for
him and q e love as unhappy, because as unsatis
factory as his own. Yet he had not the courage
| to break through his ensavement, nor the power
| to disenchant myself.
'' But since we had not the ability to bring this
strange enthrallment to an end, the end came to
US. was walking, one evening, pensvely along
the crowded park Of our city, with Malvern by my
side neither of US had spoken for several minutes
@ ana was IN one OF my most Responding moods,
| filled with an infinite but tender despair. was
Eoused all at once by the tones of voice, at the
9eue time strange and familiar, excaiming my
6ods what beauty!' My eyes, instantly raised,
.. ,b another pair regarding me earnestly,
A. at the glance of which all the mountain of sorrow
tnat had IAN upon my breast for months scared off
| hke Du6bls Oh air. i could have cried out with
| delight but the reyusion was too strong and I
| tainted. o. - =.
t. "When awoke from my Inconsistencies, and
| found Malvern sitting beside me- was seized with
the strongest feelings Of repufsion. Excusing my
self on account of my health, dismissed him for
that evening; and the following morning sent him
a note, enjoining him as he valued my peace Of
| mind, never to re-enter my dwelling. I wept as
| unalterabe.
| Meanwhile, what a. night had spent! In a
state OF half cairvoyance, that face which / had
seen IN the park-the e. face Of my onon. kept con
mine those lips, so shaped for eloquence, thrilled
me with kisses. l shrink from describing my hap
| piness, lest it should sound 'unwomanly; and yet
| the most Intoxicating dream of love ever put into
| language could no more than express my perfect
| bliss. thought of Malvern's love, once, during
my delirium, and great and generous as it had be-
fore appeared to me, it now seemed-p poor and
mean compared with mine. ] asked not who this
stranger was, nor if l should ever behold him
| again. only felt that whoever or wherever he
| was, he was mine my oUn-the other hal. of my
soul; and l doubted not that We should meet
again.
The first transports of JOY ended, my old tran
4uillity returned to me :; appeared again to my
friends, radiant, serene, exalted in my single SELF
that had ever attached to me. The condition Of
Malvern's mind, upon being suddenly thrust
back into solitary dependency was truly pitiablei
| and those to whom the meagre fact of our intim
| acy was known, were forward in condemning what
they were pleased to call my coquetry. Yet Ifelt
not this calumny. had the consciousness in my
4 own breast of being the purest maiden of all the
| women knew notwithstanding my beauty and
its natural consequence of admiration, and in spite
of the multiplied solicitations had received, both
playful and serious, no bearded lip had ever go
much as touched my cheek, or lovers fingers for
one instant clasped my waist, or twined a curl of
! mine.- Neither could living man declare my eyes
had ever dealt him one coquettish glance. There
was in my nature no temptation to this trifing I
priced my perfectlens not as means to insure the
batteries OF men, but as reason why might live
| above them.
"From the day on which met the stranger in
1 the park, the character Of my beauty changed.
From being fragile, girlsh, spirn,lels, 1 grew
queenly the ovais in my face and figure almost
imperceptibly rounded out my color was richer,
my hair softer, and my voice more full and dulcet
If had been beautiful as cold, unloving maiden,
l was superb a love-inspired woman. Out Of
respect to the friends of poor Malvern went little
into society; and always preferred the enjoyment
Of my Thoughts and the memory of that single
glance, to any companienship. But my confidence
in the ultimate return of ny oacn was unalterng.
For more than four months | watched and
waited, yet never impatienty for the expected re.
turn; always looking forward to it with joy, and
believing it could not surprise me. One evening !
was walking again in the park, dreaming pleasant
forward, when came suddenly face to face with
l my o,rn. A terrible shock went through my
frame, and again tainted.
"Ths time, when 1 awakened it was the
| stranger-n1y Opn-Lamorne, by name, who sat
beside me, half supporting me on one of the
benches of the park. | blushed and smiled at en-
countering the earnest look he bent upon me, but
was not in the least embarrassed, as it seemed
quite natural that he should occupy this position
toward ME. Several of my friends were grouped
about me, yet, when arose, looked at Lamorne
as if to say, You should accompany me home.'
Accordingly he did SO.
Il 9" This is the second tme,' said he, that have
7 Been you taken ill am very unfortunate.'
This triaing remark disappointed me- He had
not betrayed, either IN word or tone, that he re
| cognized me as had recognized him; coinci.
, dance which had all the time believed inevitable
! Was it possible that when two spirits met who
were two parts of one whole, one of them could
be blind insensible to the attraction? Dismayed
by this doubt, l scarcely had an answer for his
, politely expressed hope that he should see me
again. But on the morrow he came, and again
| and again after that and I learned soon that he
had taken up his residence in city. From this
time onward, our intimacy increased, and it seon
began to be rumored about that l, Bertha, was al
last bethrothed. This however, was not the truth
&C 1t was true that Lamorne was my unfailing at
tendant, at home and abroad; that we held the
most rapt and delightful conversations nightly
either beneath summer moon on the balcony q
I pleasant parlor.- But was no longer happy. Ths
y destiny about which had mused in years before
' was now made manifest; loved, but was no
"The nature of my intercourse with Lamorne
was peculiar. My attraction for him was suf6cien
f to hold him by my side day by day; to make hin
) seek ME to pour out his most treasured secrets o.
/, soul; to inspire him with genius and ferVor per
ectly glorious, and yet he loved me not Some
times indeed, i1elt that he was almost conscious
of the identity of our spirits. yet, whenever he
: approached this mood it made him restless anc
, gloomy, and he invariably left me 'on the instant
| II appeared to me that he struggled against the
, conviction. Yet why should he? Had he no
. given me all praise for my beauty, my genius ant
my social talents? 1t was well known, besides
that was not SO poor to be burden, even to
i poor man. On the other hand, he had position
!. wealth, and genius and could not fear to be re
jected as beneath me. Such was the unexplained
! popularity of our relations.
q Meanwhile, as l have. before mentioned, m,
+ beauty seemed slowly maturing toward an un
4 dreamed of perfection. Hour after hour sat be
!. fore my mirror, studying its uniqueness and won
dering at its insutficiency to compel the love whic
. was its own by right. Sometimes fancied tina
by its very perfection it defeated itself, and wishe
4 | | had been made less beautiful But, notwitt
v standing my appearance was improved, was st1
T fering in my health, which had always before bee
n faultiess Since my second meeting with Lamorn
q in the park, had had quite frequent repetons 0
l. those nervous shocks which, on that occasion, a
n well as at our first meeting, had caused me t
J.. swoon away. Indeed, at every SUBSEQUENT NEE!
ing, had felt one, more less severe, and thei
;; effect upon my consultation was becoming appa
= rent to myself. ny spirits, also, began to sufie
Z from them, ana my uniform eheeriulness to b.
-. | unsettled.