The Weekly Perrysburg journal. [volume] (Perrysburg, O. [Ohio]) 1861-1???, 1862-07-02
ArtemuS Ward the Snowman.
The following extracts are from a volume
by Artemus Ward, the Snowman, recently
published by Carleton, of New York
A BUSINESS LETTER.
IN he ElIitn1. Of the


A BUSINESS LETTER.
TO the Edito7' of the ---
SIR:--I am movin along slowly along
down lords your place. want you should
rite me letter, sayin how is the show
biziniss in your place Ny show at pres
ent consists of three moral Bares, Il Kanga-
roo IA amoozin little Ras!,al-'twould make
you larf yerself to deth to see the little cuss
Jump up and squeaD wax fggers ofG, Wash
ington, Gen. Tylor, John Bunyan, Capt.
Kidd, and DR.. Webster in the act of KILN
Dr. Parkinan besides several miscellanyus
moral wax statoots Of celebrated piruts and
murderers, &c. exalted by few & exceled
by none. Now, Mr.. Editor, scratch orr a
few lines sayin how is the show bizniss
down to your place shall hav my han
bills dun at your oHss. Depend upon it.
! want you should git my haubills up in
famin stile. Also git up trememjus eX-
citemcnt in yr, paper 'bowt my onparaled
Show. We must fetch the public some
how. We must wurk on their feelins. Cum
the moral on'em strong. fits temprence
community, telrem | sned the pledge fifteen
miuts arter lse born, but on the contery
ef your peple take their tods, say Mister
Ward is as Jenial teler as we ever met.
full on cOnwiviality, & the life and sole of
the Soshul Bored. Take, don't you? If
you say anything obowt my show, say my
snaiks is as HARMLESS as the new born Babe.
What "a interestin study it is to see d ze-
wological animil like snailI under pcrfeck
subjecshum My Kangaroo is the most
larlable little cuss ever saw. All for Is
cents. | am anXyus to sIewer your i'll
AoOunce. repeat in regard to them han
bills, that shall git EN- struck orf up to
your printin office My perlitercal sent-
ments agree with yourn eXackly. | know
they do, becawZ | never saw man whose
didn't.
Respectively yures, A. WARD.
VISITS THE SHAKERS.
"AIr. Shaker" sed /, you see before you
Babe in the Woods, so to speak, and he
axes shelter of you"
"Iay,' sed the Shaker. and he led the
way into the house, another Shaker bein sent
to put my hosses and Vaughn under kiver.
soi1n female, lookin sum what like a
last years hean-pole stuck into long meal
bag, cum III and aXt me was | athurst, and
did | hunger? to which Iurpanely ansered
"a few" She went orf and | endeycred to
open . conversation with the old man.
"Elder, spect?" sed |.
"Yay" he sed. I. "." ..
"lIelth's good, Ireckon?' ~
"Yay."
"a stormy night, sir"
"Yay"
'If the storm continners therell be mess
underloot hay?"
| "Yay."
OTIS unpleasant when there's mess nm
derfoot2' a..
* Way" e
IF may be so bold, kind sir, what's the
| price of that pecooler kind of weskit you
were, incloodin trimmins 2"
"Hay." .-
pawsed mint, and then, thinkin I'd
| be fas eshus with him aad see how that
| go, | slapt him ON the shoulder bust into a
/ harty larf, and told him that as a yaYey he
| had no livin ekal.
| He iumpt up as if Bilin hot water hand bin
squirted into his ears, groaned rolled his
/ eyes up lords the sealn and sed
! You're man of sin"
He then walkt out of the room.
| Dmeclly thar cum in two young Shaker
esses, as pooty and slick lookin gals as
ever met. 1t is troo they was drest in
meal bags like the old one I'd met previsly
and their shiny silky har was hid from
sight by long white caps, sich as | spost
| female Josts wear but their eyes sparkleC
like dimmds, their cheeks was like roses
and they was chairmin enuff to make a MAJ
throw stms at his graumother. If they axeC
him to. They commenst clearin away tn,
dishes, castin shy glances at me all tn,
time. got excited. forgot Betsy Jam
in my rapter, and sez |, ree rr.....
I "My prety dears, how are your
1--WE air we'll" they solumly sed,
"Whar's the old man?p sed !, in a sof
voice.
"of whom dost thow speak Brothe
Urahg"
81 mean that gay festiv cuss who call
me man of sin. Shouldn't woneer if hi
) name was uriah"
'He has retired"
"Wall, my pretty dears, sez |, "let's hay
sum fun, Let's play puss in the corner.-
/ What sayp
Air you Shaker, sir? p they axed.
wall, my pretty dears, l haven't array
ed my proud form in a long weskit yet, bu
If they was all like you perhaps I'd jine 'ea
As it is, I'm Shaker pro-temporary."
They We're full Of fun. l seed that Q
iust, only they Vas . leete skeery. l taw
, em Puss in the corner, and sieh like plas,
and we had nice time, keepin quiet, {
course, so the old man shouldn't hear
: lNhen we broke up, SEE |,
2 MY prety dears, ear go, you have n
? objections, hav you, to insrsent kiss
: partin 7"
"YAy,' they ssd and yaysd,