Daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1865, 1862-06-13

on the 10th Of May, Charles Dickens pre-.
sided, sad msd6 An 'dm1stug little speech
on Newspapers. BE said /:
''Fhe frat thing that occurs to me fol-
1l6ytpg- the heWBuabn 5,fhat every day we
are born, that every day We, or at least
some OF uS, are married, and that every.
day ye. die. Laughter Consequently
sssthe hEst thing the peWsvneder's columns
Inform a. q. is that Atkins has been born,
that Gatkins has been married, and that
Datkihs Is dead. Great Laughter.1 Bat
the most remarkable thing l Immediately
discover in the next column Is that Atkins
infancy is very brief, for find that he has
become seVenteenE years Of age, and run
away from home, for my eye lights on Nv.
A. which means William Atkins, is solemly
--hbjured % Immediately return to his dis
eohSolats parents, and everything will be
arranged 10 his satisfaction, aud 10 the
satisfaction of everybody eIse. n Hear,
lheaf,S aud IAughtet. am Informed he
will NOT return, for II he ever meant to
have come back he would not have run
away. [Laugbter.l Immediately below
mad . mysterious character in ouch
mysterious difficulty that 1t is only TO be
expressed by several disjointed sentences,
aud several figures and asIerisIxs, aud then
md the explanation in the intimAtiOn
that the writer has given his property over
70 his uncle, and that the elephant is on
the wing Loud laughter. 5a
Suu gl1ncing over the shoulder of my
luduStriOns friend, the neWsman, / find
that thsre are great fleets of ships bound
70 all parts of the world, that they all have
little more StoWBge room, and all want
little more cargo; that they have all few
NOM berths 70 lei, that they have all the
most spacious cabins and decks, that they
are all built Of teak and copper fastened.
and all carry surgeons of experieuce-iu
tact that they are all A / at Loyds
Aud egeEyRheres else. TLRuRhter.1 Still
glancing Over the shoulder Of my news
man, lind am offered all kinds of houses,
lodgings, clerks, servants and situations
FhtshI1es possibly or tmPnssibly want
learn to my intense qualification, that
need never grow old, that l may always
= preserve the juvenile bloom Of complex.
= ions that M ever become I'll Il is entirely
my, own fault, that may have no more
gay hatrs CLapgbtet.l II have any
cOmPlaintss and want brown cod liver oil
or Turkish bath, am told where can
get Il; and that II want an income of
seven poundS per week have only 10 send
for 1t, enclosing half a crowns worth of
postage stamps. Great lSughter.1
"GIancing again over the shoulder of my
friend. the newman, my eye lights upon
the Imperial Parliament, and there / read,
L4among other stereotyped passages. that
the honorable member from somewhere had
asked the right honorable the Secretary for
the Home Department whether he had any
intelligence TO communicate With respect
70 the last outrage, the late railway Hcct-
dent, or the last mine explosion; and then
always read how the right honorable gem
tleman, the Home Secretary. in reply, said
ne kneV nothing Of the occurrence beyond
Whist he9had read In the papers, THeaf,
hear, and langhter.S Then look into the
police tntelligeuce, and there Loan discov.
or thatit have Q propensity that Wav 10
indulge, may very cheaply bite of a hui
man betugs nose, but that IL presume to
take OF from butchers window the nose
OF dead calf or pig, it will cost me ex-
ceedtngly dear. LAughter1 And also
ma that It allow myself TO be betrayed
into the folly Of killing an inoffensive man
upon his own doorstep, that little Incident
would not affect the testimonials 10 my
character, but that shall be described as
most amtable, sweet young man. and
above all things, remarkable fSr the singu.
Lar IuoHenstv enesa ofmy character and dis
position. Hear.
sStu looking over the shoulder Of my
friend, the neWsmau, my eye passes to the
theatrieal intelligence, aud read the news,
Which ts really no news % all, that the true
Spirit Of picturesque artist has been dis
played by AT. Benjamin Webster-Thear1-
or that another most subtle and delicate
piece Of comedy has been achieved BY my
friend Nc: Alfred WigEn. CCheersl. Then
turn TO the hne arts, and under that head
hnd thatJ. o. has most triumphantIy az.
posed certain ]. o. B.-Eiaughter1-
which o. B. was remarkable for his ug-
y FEATURES that was requested to deprive
myself OF my best pictures for six months.
that Tor that time they were 70 be hung ON
vet wall, and that was to be reuntted
EaF ny courtesy In having my pictures GOV.
eFea 6y wet blanket. To sum M the re-
suits OF the glance over my neWSman's
ehoulder, Il gives meAa comprehensive
knowledge Of what is going on over the
continent Of Europe, aud also WHAT'S 90.
lng on over the continent Of America, TO
say nothing Of such little geographical re.
Btons as India aud China. lfgEi
IA the latest kilograms which come to-
haAd Learn how nay boy is getting on in
the army, and turning 70 the naval intelli-
geneo, read the lRtest news concerning
my boy 10 the navy, All the topics are
sthed and expressed in abort, pointed. ami
terse articles, and every morning beiore
bEeaktast, like Ariel, am enabled to mt a
gttdle round the earth aud coming back
70 London Bridge, learn the latest move
ments otthe japanese ambassadors EHeaF,
hoaF'and laughter.l Speaking Of tue ia
Panese Ambassadors, they Of all things
ought to be here Tonight at 4 dinner ofI
neGsVenders, for there Is nothing which
eonld more excite their astonishmenti: for
10 Japan they forbid the circulation of
news under pain Of instant death, ana cut
the newman 10 halves the moment be
shows himsef. Laughter.1
Now, my friends, this is the glance over
the neWsman's shoulder from the Whlmsi.
a! point OF view, which is the point
z 9elteye which most promotes digestion.