Indiana State sentinel. (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1861-1865, 1862-05-05

with the subjeckss Ses /, Hold on, youm
see" "Wal," ses he, II always carry it rite
there in my left hand trowsers pocket" SEES
], didn't you ever have a hole in that pocket
for a day or two, and have to put your pocket
book in sum other?" SEES he, "Majer, Ihave."
SEES i, "What did you do with it then p
WAL ses he, II put it in my right hand
pocket, but it kinder chafed my leg there,
cause it warn't used to it, and it also felt nifty
onhandy. So / put it in my side coat pocket
but every time I stopped over, it would drop
out. Then ] put iii my coat tail pocket, but
1 was kept all the time on the qui r~iUers,
afeerd sum pickpocket would steal 1t. AT last,
in order to make it safe end sure, / put it in
the top of my hat, under sum papers, but the
hat was too top heavy, and over it went, spill
ling everything. / tell you / was glad when
my pocket was fixed, and / got it back in the
old spot"
"Now," SEES ], @Kernel, that's jest the case
with the niggers. The mint you get 'em out
of Their place, you don't know what on arth to
do with 'em. Now, we've been here all the
eyenin sarchin over the map to see eff we
can't find sum place to put 'em. But it is all
no manner of use. You've got to do with
'em jest as you did with your pocket book.
Put 'em whar they belong, and then you won't
have any more trubbil."
Linkin didn't see eggaztly how / was gwin
to apply the story, an wen he did, he looked
kinder struck up. Wen / saw that / had
made a hit on him, l follered it up. SEES /,
"Kernel, this government amt out of order,
as Seward and Chase kontend. They are
only tryin to run it the rong tody-that's what
makes all the trubbil. / once he'd a thrashin
machine, an / sold it to old Jim Dumbutter,
an after he got it, he sed it warn't good for
nothin-that it wouldn't run, &c. So / went
over to see ii, and / VOW eff he didn't have the
machine all rong eend foremist. i went to
work at it, an, after a leetle vile, 1T went off
like grease, Jest as slick as a whistle. You
see, old Dumbutter didn't understand the ma
chine, an, therefore, he cSeldn't make it 90.
Now" SEES /, "Kernel, our Constitushin is a
Dimmycratic machine, an its got to be run as
a Dimmycratic machine, or it cont run at all!
Now, you see, Seward is tryin to run it on his
higher law principle, but it warn't made for
that, an the conscience is, the thing is pretty
nigh smashed up"
"Wal," ses Linkin, sthings do look kinder
dark. | don't know whar we will come out,
but | guess I'll isSoo a proclamashin for the
ministers to pray for us. Perhaps they will
do sum good" Ses /, "Kernel, that reminds
me of old Elder Doolittle, who cum along the
road one day rite by whar old Sol. Hopkins
a very wicked old sinner, was hoein corn.
The season was late, an the corn was nifty
slim. SEES the Elder:-'Mister Hopkins, your
corn is not very forrard this year. No, its
monstrous poor ses Hopkins, IAN / guess |
shan't have half a crop WAL ses the Elder,
Mister Hopkins, you ought to pray to the Lord
for good crops, perhaps he will hear YOU
FWal, perhaps he will, an perhaps he WON'T
ses old Sol, but III be darned eff / don't be-
leave that this corn needs manure a tarnel
sight more than it needs prayin for Now
SEES l, "Linkin, L think this country is some
thing like old Hopkinses corn. 1t needs
craftsmanship a good deal more than prayin for"
Linkin didn't seem to like that observation of
mine much, for he turned the subjeck, an he
amt axed me what it was best to do with the
niggers sence.
The other day the Kernel got off a good
joke on Seward. You know what a solemn
looking chap he is materially. Wal, since he
has got to be Chief Clark of the President,
he seems to look solemer than ever. He cum
into Linkin's room, an the Kernel ses, "Have
you heerd the news, Boss?" "No," ses Sew
ard, "what is it?" "Wal," ses Linkin, "the
Giascutis is loose" s'What's that?" ses Sew
ard. "Why," ses Linkin, saint you never
heerd the story of the Giascutis?" Seward
sed he never had. "Wal," ses the Kernel, 81
must tell you. Several years ago, a couple of
Yankees were %travelin out West, an they got
out of money. So they koncluded to raise
the wind as follers: They were to 60 into a
village, an announce a show, pretendin that
they had a remarkabul animal, which they had
Jest captured on the Rocky Mountings. A
bran new beast such as was never seen before.
The name was the 'Giascutis.' 1t was to be
shown in a room, an one of the fellers was to
play Giascutis. He was put behind a screen,
an had sum chains to shake, an he also con-
trived to growl or howl as no critter ever did
before. Wal, the people of the village all
cum to see the Giasticus, an, after the room
was filed, his companion began to explain to
the audience what a terribul beast he had,
how he killed ten men, two boys an five
horses in ketchin him, aud now how he had
got him, at enormous expense to show him.
jest as everybody was gapin an starin, thar
was. all at once, a most terrific growlin, and
howlin, an rattlin of chains, an in the excite
ment, the Snowman, almost breathless, yelled
out, at the top of his voice, The GiaScutis is
loose. RUM rum rum An away went the
people down stairs, heels over head, losin all
they had paid, and seein nothin. Now" ses
Linkin, "the Merrymac is cut, and wen | read
about the vessels, an tug-boats, an steamers,
all scamperin off as soon as she was seen, /
thought She was the 'Giascutis' sure, only Pm
afraid she is a real Giascutis, an no mistake"
Since then, Linkin calls the Merrymac the
Giascutis all the time.
Your friend,
MAJER JACK DOWNING.