The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1862-07-18
LETTER FROM MAJOR JACK
DOWNING.
WASHINGTON, June 8, 1862

AShIkGToN, June =, lo02.
TO the Editors ofate CaucasAia:
SURs:-It has been mighty unpleasant wealth
er since writ you last, an have had q rale
sharp tWingc Of the rumatics. These cold rains
in June are hard on u constituslin that has
had tussel with nigh on to about eighty win
ters: but howsever, with little cider bark tee,
my favorit remedy wen it's mixed with good
deal Of old rye, Eve got now about as good as
new agin. SO the other day l telled I4nkin |
was goin to finish up my siferin on the finan-
ces. He scd he wished l would, for he was al
reddy beginning to think about laying the fonn-
dashin for the mex message, and he wanted the
facts TO put in. So / telicd him he must give
me "a letter of authority that | might show the
SeckataIy Of the Treasury, SO that he would
see that warnt eny common chap coming to
Ipry into what was none Of my business. So
Lnkin sat down an writ letter as follows:
DEAR Sur Major Jack Downing is au-
thorised to eXamin ne into the state OF the inan-
ces in particular f
A. LiNKIN"
Wen the Kernel first writ the letter, he didn't
have on the last two words in italiclls. ask
ed him to put 'em on an he did. Ses he, Ma
jcr, what do want them words forP wal, scs
l. Kernel, them words will puzzle Chase ena-
most to death, an will trubbel him that he viii
think eff he dares to keep back the truth that
you'll be sure to Civ him his walkin papers.
You see, Kernel, you must be alittle mysterious
with these POLITICIANS, or else they don't get a.
fcercd of you.
then put the letter in my hat, rite under
the linin, an talin my slate under my arm, an
my hickory in my hand, Started for the Treas
ury buillin. 1t amt far srom the White House,
an | soon got there.---it's q mighty big pile el
tyIcIses, Hull Ur
moncyto have got it fixed upso niee. Jalstsns
i was goin in the door, | met Mr.. Chase
comm out. Hc knew me an knew him, tho he
didn't suspect for minnit what | was after.
Ses he, 'Najer, I'm highly tickled to see you.
1t does my heartgood to see genuwine loyall
man in these days of rebellyn an know you're
one' WAL ses |, Mr. Seckatary, ef Ginner-
al jackson was loyal man, then Pm one, an
ef he warnt loyal then there amt eny sch
thing as loyalty Sos he, 'Majcr, you're right,
an what kin | do For you this mornin?-'Wal,'
ses l, Mr.. Seckatary; I've cum around to in
ouire into the state of the financos. The Pres
dent ses he's very busy, an bcin as was very
good at tigers, he wanted me jest to take look
| at the books an see how the ackounts stand
| Wen | sed this, sec he didn't look pleased
at all. IIc began to make sum sort OF apollo
ces, that the ackounts were behindhand, and sc
on but telled him warn't particular about
all the little ITEMS an that | only wanted tt
get at the gnnera sum: but as he still seemed
to be hesitatin, thinks | to myself, now's Tho
time to show him the Presidents letter--tha
| will fix him sure. So l took off my hat al
showed it to him. When he red il he was a'
perltc as a Niger wen he wants to humbugyou
| lie looked at it a long while before he sed eDy
thing. When he did speak, scs he, 'Maler
| what do these last words in particular mean!
| WAL Ses don't know as | can tell. The
President put'cm there, an | didn't ask hin
what he ment by EN- You see | warn't goir
| to be fool enough to let him think [ had puten
there, for that would have spoilt all my plans
| see 10 was worried, an that was jest what
wanted.
| After that he asked me to como in his Office
and he began 10 tell me that the fnancies were
| in a very prosperous condishin. He took down
| q biz book, which he sed his clarks had prcpar-
| cd for him, so that he could see every Saturday
| nitc Jest how much the Government was il
dGtt.-I took a look at it, but | couldn't tel
head nor tail TO it, He sed they kept their books
by dubbel entry. telled him that | should
think that Il single entry would be as many
/ times us such debt rs ours ought to be chalk
ell down. Now, scs l Mr. Scckatary, | want
! to get at this subject in way that plan peo'
,le, rs the Kernel scs, can understand it. Ses
! !, what is the debt now2 wal scs he, 1T is
| Sl0l ,0O0,000,' Is that all, ses |! Why in
your report last winter you estimated that ii
wouldbe S5l7 100000, and you don't say that
il is less than the estimate. WAL ses he, Ma
ier, that is what the books say" Now, ses |,
Mr. Seckatary, them books by bubble entry
ant worth pick of saw dust. There was
Deacon Doolittlc's son, Hosea, of Downingville,
who went to York and set up the dry-goods
business Wen he failed his books showed that
! he was worth two hundred thousand dollars,
and yet he didn't have money enough TO get his
wife hum to his fathers. You see dubblo en-
! try is good deal like tryin to ride two horses
atonce; You cant manage 'em, and things get so
kinder mixed up in profit and loss and notes
payable and notes receivable, that YOU can't
| tell how you stand Now ses |, 'Mr. Seek
atary, want to ask you some questshins by
single entry, and will put the ansers down on
the slate.'-Ses |, didn't you say in your re-
! port that the estimate, for the army was 4OO,-
600 soldiers, S400, 100000; for 100000 sol
ders, 100000 900, and so on?' Yes, Maier,
that was the statement, ] believe. Wal, now,
sea |, we can flyer thls down in short meter.
How many soldiers have you had" wal ses