Columbia Democrat and Bloomsburg general advertiser. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1850-1866, 1862-05-31
dad come to the door, and says he /;


man that tended to fetch on his calm soup
for eight, and plenty Of broth. Then the
strange man got some sassaparilla for us
gals, and some of that other drink for
him and dad. BY the time we got the
sassapari LA wallowed-'twas beautiful to
drink, but as cold as if it had come out
of the north east corner Of the North Pole
the soup was ready and all smoking hot
but while we'd been goblin our drink
down like chickens swallowing dough,
dad and the stranger had drinked two or
three times.
"Well, we sot down to a table, and the
way VIC shovcled in the soup was a caution.
After we'd finished dad told the man to
fill EN- up again, then he and the stranger
took another drink. Well, after we got
through, dad shook hands with the stran.
ger, and we started to 90 back to the park
where we had left the old mare hitched
"Dad hadn't any more than got out of
the door than he fell full lenght right down
into the dirt, which stuck all over his new
clothes. He got up and went on few
feet further, and then down he went again.
Angeline and 1 raised him, for we were
Altered that he might have hurt him. If
you'd believe it, the very first step he went
down head first; that kinder madded me,
and says I:
"Hain't you big enough to walk?'
"Some little boys began to snicker and
laugh, and says dad, tryin' to raise up.
kinder stuttcrin':
"'Larf at feller's misfortin'!
"'Whats the matter, dad 2 says I kin
der takin' pity on hin, for thought the
poor critter might be sick He didn't say
anything, but kept hiccuping.
"'It's wind on his stummick,' said An
geline.
"'Clams, said dad, kinder mournfully.
"Now I'd always heard tell that CLANS
were mighty unhealthy in the summer
season. l never knew the symptoms of
colleray afore--it's kinder curious how it
will throw folks down. 1 thought the
best thing we could do was to streak it
back to the park and get home with dad
just as soon as we could, for l was afeared
though l didn't say anything to the gals
about it-that some of US would be took :.
believe l should myself, if l hadn't been
SO anxious bout dad and the rest on EN-.
"Angelinc and | just pulled him up and
took him by the arm and walked along
Twas dreadful tedious job, l tell ye,
palm, hanlin' and luggin him along, and
we got completely tuckered out by the time
we got to the park.
81 don't know why folks should exult
at other folks misfortunes, but everybody
that we passed grinned and laughed like
monkeys. well, they say it's human ma
tur'
"When we got to the park dad seemed
to feel considerable better. We sot him
down on the grass and let him lean back
against a tree, and then went and bought
a pint bottle full Of good old cherry bran
dy, for knowcd it would be good for
him. I took swallow or so myself, and
then made the gals drink too. he rest
that was left 1 poured down dads throat.
"Then we unhitched the old mare and
got ready to 60 home, told Angclinc
to drive, and would have dad set on the
scat with me, The gals all got in but An
geline and me we histed dad up into
the wagon, and then we got in.
"'Just put the old mare over the road
said I.
"Angelinc hit her whacking clip with
the end Of the lines. She'd been standing
there so long, and got so restless and un-
easy, that she give an awful jump and sent
dad clean out of the wagon, and aim ost
jerked my neck off from my shoulders
Angeline stopped the mare as soon as she
could, and we piled out. Just then man
with blue coat all covered over with
brass buttons, just like military officer,
come up. He had big star gilt just like
his buttons.
"'What's the matter p he axed.
"'Why, he fell into the ocean off the
steamboat, and then he ate two bowls of
calm soup, and l don't believe it agreed
with his stummick.'
"What's he drinked?' said he, kinder
laughing, slough l didn't see anything to
laugh at.
"' Somethn' in tumbler,' answered
Jane Ann, taking tho words out of my
mouth and answering before could speak
"'Yes, should think so, he said, SO