, 1862-03-14

VH1CaEo IN kne H1u4s
a few days since Chicago was recorded on
ice-at least its citizens were many Of them
summarily "corded up" in the winter on the
ice aforesaid, as the wood-cuttcr cords his fuel,
Now Chicago is deep in mud. Mud floats in
the atmosphcrc-Wc have mud on sidewalks,
On streets, on bridges, in fact mud is written
everywhere in unmistakable characteristics
that styled Egyptian.
Two boys were on Wednesday seen fishing for
whi,les in the Big, Black, Muddy cognomcn
lately given the extensive collection Of filthy
water bounded on the west By the Custom
House, On the south by Monroe street, on the
east By mud and sidewalks, and on the north,
by way Of variation, By mud and water-the
boys were soundly whaled by their maternal
parents for getting their feet wet and muddy
ing the maternal carpets.
A young woman, whose knowledge Of
geography was somewhat circumscribed, ac-
costed a pedestrian with the question, as she
was going to the post-othce: 'Sir, does the
Mississippi run Eo near Chicago 4 declare,
thought it went farther eastt
She smiled sweetly upon the young man
who informed her Of her mistake, and that
Mut body Of wafer was called Corporation
Lake, and was supposed to have no bottom, it
having fallen ont" when the proposed I'M
proVcment Of Monroe street ssfen through
the Common Council.''
She could not "scc it,'' but smiled sweet1y,
nevertheless.
A stranger from Boston passing along tic
street the same day, asked for information
why the people had placed broad fae-stone5
where crossings should be, and then covered
them with mud. A man from Philadelphia
answered him that it was to compel the ladies
to Page their crinoline. Chicago ladies' being
proycrbial]y prudish it was way the sterner
SEX had Of overcoming their scruplcs in that
regard. The Boston man had white craYat
Oh md looked grieved- The Philadelphia man
bad weed on his hat and resembled Chanlfau's
character Of "Mose.''
Whiff1ekins, since the .Jaux xszs on The ice, re-
lated last week, has been laid up with the
rheumatism. It is supposed that the rent in
lis coat and wrench Of his framework when
he teH had something to do with the in
ca'aiion Of the disease. He mas liable TO be
around'' CT Wednesday, In E,ct lis friends III,
linn be is "abi1 to be rcuud" when "lat
OF his back;'' b,i.. that : is because
oil lis square build all3 aI1arnist1;t. ,rr.,.a,r-
tlouE. 3Fllitf!ekins was not Gu. ss;1: ;>cr. ::.
he had heard that there would he ice on ,.,,..
sidewalk, in tie fcrr l,ar,. Of the :;ay. N.:i.-
be did leave his den, Lie found there w::s ta';;S:
everywhere. Being Gat, orr fri"::;; ::.:..ss ts::
fat nlcn are always more or less s.f,s:rr-
and lie trotted along at 4 little less tl.n two-
forty pace toward his place ci :::,siness--w,sre
bis location is: il no business Of the readcr-I:e
WAS congratnlatlug limself upon the i,laclS1css
Ct his boots, the spotless character Of his shirt
front, andthc fact that there WAS No fear Of a
repetition OF the cold adventure On the ice, as
there vas no ice to fall upon. Hc WAS glad
of it. Whii1lekins met q lady To be polite,
he had to step into the mud and away from
tho crossing. Ills boots were muddicd. He
kept cool, and consolcd himself with the idea
that it was clear case Of devotion to the fair
sex. Hc went on a little farther. Arascallr
eSpressman passed him, his horse on trot.
Splash went shoyelfull Of mire upon tile
immaculate linen Of our portly friend. a large
dog got tangled up, with his legs at this june
ture, the whip-lash Of the driver Of the vehicle
came i'll contact with his right eye-bau, he
made a m5sstep-ran against miss with a
basket Of eggs in her hand, the eggs were
broken, Whiflekins fell his head vas stsoused',
ears and all, amid the hen-fruit, his feel flew
up and hit the young woman in the face, and
she came down upon the back Of our fat friend.
In the mud, eggs, water and legs; her cri1lo-
ffnR rarrhf mn hu@ oF},
could not get up, and Whitflekins shouted
murder MURDER" murder" like q man
with his mouth filed with hasty pudding. He
would undoubtedly have been entirely smoth
cred, lad not Captain Jack Nelson arrived at
tic moment, and by the dexterous use Of his
fingers succeeded in 1oosing the naughty hoop
and raising his friend to q perpendicular. What
an object Was Nhiflekins. We leave it to
the Imagination Of the reader. It is sufficient
to say that his rheumatism has confined him
to his den ever since. He finds it hard to de-
eide which is the ttblggcst thins,'' the ice or
the mud.
Here is his complaint, written yesterday:
Editors Tribune;
Is this free country have often heard
it boosted that if a man couldn't buy shoes he
tells me that that is not true Why, Just now
we are not allowed to go with holes in our
shoes even, with ali your boasted liberty,
Only look at our streets. o, murdcri What
mud and hlth! Now, Mr.. Editor, is there any
remedy for this great atHiction? II
of the men who ought to. but dnnif
attend to it. believe there is lot city on
the continent of any pretensious (unless it is
thls) where there is not law By which prop
erty-holders or tenants can be compelled to
clean the CUTTERS i'll front Of their premises.
II there is such IN ordinance here, why in the
name OF common Sense and decency is ii not
cnlorccds WHEFIE6Ns.
FEMALE BuRG1ARs.-On Tuesday night ofthc
present week, the jewe1ry store of c. B. Town.
send, Of Kankalzec, was broken into by some
person orperfons well acquainted With the pre-
miscs, and 30 or 40 valuable watches aad some
rich fcwelry taken away. Entrance was OBJ
taincd to the shop through s hack door. The
Chicago police were early appraised Of the facts
in the case and Immediately" SET Is re:k .tc:
ca::eE &c rogucs.. Oh Wednesday night they
were successful. and arrested Il llars. N. Roche
ana Mrs. Mary Reck;Er=, stt,lc Illinois Central
depot, they having Just arrived In The city
from kanEakee. On tlc rerzons Of the bur
slarious fema!eR were found eleven OF the sto-
len watches and some OF tie jcwslry. They
we're sent to KanAakee for examination. in
charge If officer John Maeauley, last evening.
One Of the prisoners, who had formerly work
cd for Mr. Townsend, was in his Place the day
preceding the night Of tie robbery, and it is
supposed then laid Ter plans and commenced
u:,e;atio1s By leaving an opening for Lc sub-