Litchfield enquirer., 1862-10-16
A LETTER FROM LORD DUNDREARY

That's vewey twue-l said so the other nlgh you know-and live often thed tho before but the fact is-evewy fellah dothnt make aI ath of himthelf, at least not quite such an ath as I've done in my time. I-don't mind telllng you, Mir. Editor, but pon my word now-l-lV Ve made an awful ath of myself on thome occasions You don't believe it now--do you l thougn' you wouldnt-but I have pow-soeaAy. Partie- ularly with wegard to women. To say the twutn that is my weakneth-I spose I'm what they call q ladies' man. The pwetty cweachaws hAe me e -I know they do-though they pwetend not 'o do so It-It's the way with some feilahs- there was hith late Majesty George the Fourth Il never thaw him mythelf you know but we heard he had sort of a way with him that that no woman could wesist--what is ii? a ca melia-no, camel leopard, no-chameieon isn t it? that attwacts people with its eyes-no, by the way that-thats the bwute that changes col or-it couldn't have been that you know-Geor- gius Wex-never changed color--he, he'd got beyond blushing he had-he only blushed once early-vewey early in life, and when it was by mistakc-no cam-chameleon' not the word What the dooth is it2 Oh stop--it begins with E. By the way it's astonishing how many words begin with B. Oh, an awful lot No-- no wonder Dr. Watts talked about-the busy B. Why, he's more work than all the west ot the alphabet-However the word beglns with a B, and its Bas = Basiloose-yes, that's t-stop, I'd better look it out in the Dictionary to make certain-I-I hate to make mistakes-l does pecially about a thimple matter like this. Oh, here we are-B. Bssifica.
 ' No-that can't be the word you know-George was king, and if-Basihca means royal palace --they-they might have been-welatons but that's all no it isn't Basilica; it, it's Basisk yes, I've got it now; it's Bathi;ih. Flats what His Majsstyiwas; Bathilith and fas:inated fair cweachaws with his eye. Let me see; where was IT Oh remember; or weckollect; which is it? Never mind, was saying that was la dies man. wanted to tell you If one success full advenchaw had at least when say sue. cessful, l mean it would have been, as far as was concerned; but of course where two per sons are engaged or wather; one of em eoant' to be engaged, one fellah by himself can't en- gage that he'll engage affections that are other wise engaged. By the way what lot of ga ges that was in one thenteuce, and yet it seems quite fiuitless Come, that's pwetty smart, that is for me.
 Well, as I was saying mean as meant to have said when was stopping down at Wock- inpham with the Widieys, last autumn, there was a mons 'ous jolly girl staying there too. l don't mean too girls you know; only one girl. But stop minute Is that right? How could one girl be stopping there t,rop What doosid queer expwessions there are in the English language. ..... Stopping there two! It's vewy odd l. Fl swear there was only one girl; at least the only one mean was only one. If she d been two, of course should have known it. Let me see now. one is singular, and two is plural well, you know she ,oas a singular girl and she, she was one too many for me. An, see now that accounts for it; one t,oo many, of course, .lz f,.T, nxUhap SIn had yewy queer name, Miss, miss, Missrniss, 10. not Miss Missmiss always miss the wrong, 1 mean the right name, Miss Chaffing gham; that $ it :, Charlotte Chaiiingham. weckolect Charlotte, because they called her Lofty and one day at bweakfast, made stunning widdlc, 1 said, " Why is Miss Charlotte like a London caD man?' Well, none of them could guess it.. They twied and twied and at last my brother Sam, who was in England then, he gave most thupid answer; he said, '' know, he said, "She $ like a London cabman because she's got fur back
 Did you ever hear anything so widiculous :? Just as if her face wash much pwetter than her back? Why could see that for was sit ting opposite her. It's twue Sam was just be- hind her. offering some mullins, but, you know he'd seen her face, and wealy ought to have known better. told him so: said, 'rham, you ought to be athamed of yourthelf, MatM not the anthwer.'
 WeIl of course then they all wanted to know, and l. told 'em-ha ha ! MY answer was good wasn't it? Oh 1 forgot 1 haven't told you i; we'll, here it is: said:
 cause she's Lofty Chaffingham," (of course meant, lot O chatf in him. Dye see Doosd good Icall it; but would you. believe? all the party began wearing with laughter all wound. At first 1 thought they were laughing at the widdle, and 1 laughed too, but at last Captain Wagsby said (by the way hate Wagsbv, he's 500 doosid familar) Captain Wagsby said, "Mulled it again my Lord.' From this low ex- pwession, which wecollect at Oxford, I thought had made mithtake and asked them what they meant by wearing in that absurd manner
 "Why don't you see, Dundreary,' some one eaid, "lt won't do you've forgotten the ladys sex; Miss Charlotte cannot be said to have any chaff in hin It ought to be chaff in her'' And then they began to woar again. Upon my word now, it hadn't occurred to me certainly before, but don't see noU that it was such a mistake. Whats the use of being so doosid particular about the sense of widdle as long as it's a good one? Abthurd!
 We'll, after breakfast we went out for stroll upon the lawn, and somehow or other Miss Chafingham paired of with me. She was a doosid stunning girl, you know. A fellah often talks about stunning girls, and when you see them they're not so stunning after all but Lot. ty wealy was doosid stunning girl; fair eyes and beautifully blue, ha. no blue and fair; tc0nfound it, l always make that mistake when there's more than one adjectivesin thentence, ] mean fair hair and beautifully blue eyes, and she had a way of looking at one that. that we ally almost took ones bweath away. I've olter heard about fellahs falling in love. 1 neve, did 30 mythelf. you know at least not that weckomember, mean weckollect, before thai morning. But weally she did look SO iolE bweaking her egg at hweakfast so bewitchini when she just smashed the shell all wound witt her thpoon before she began to ca, it; I, we ally began to feel almost Hpooney mythelf Ha, hai there am atsit again. weally mus bweak mythelf of this habit of joking; it vewy low you know .like beathly clown in b-beathly pantomime, oughtnt to have sa, beathly twice, l know. A fellah once told m that if. man says the same adjective twice il one thentence he's taught ological. But he' wrong, you know, for l often do, and I'm sure never was taught anything of the klnd.
 However, Lofty was stunning girl, and WI walked all about the lawn. down into the shwub bery to look into some bush after wobin wed breast that she said had built nest there ; ant sure enough, when we got to it. there was th little weddin-wob, mean wobin welbreast look ing out of gweat lump of moss, and as it wal sitting there vewey quiet, thought to myself I, I'll have you, old cock, q heard afterward. that 1t was hen so twas vewy good thing didn't say tho out loud, you know) and thinking Lotty would be pleased if I caught it, I thwusi my hand in as quick as could, but you know tl.nSp little wedding wohbp wod bua,s,. .