The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1862-02-12
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
- A woman who wants n charitable
heart wants n pure heart.

- Treason is soon suppressed when
loyal men get the hang of it.
- Those who have seen pit-fall, will
please inform us how far it fell.
= The Saxon meaning of the word
love is a passion of the soul.
- A fine thought obscurely expressed,
is Ikea rough, uncut diamond.
- The man who was lost in slumber
found his way out on n nightmare.
- A moralist observes "that ut tav-
erns madness is sold by the bottle"
- Everywhere tndeavor to be useful,
and everywhere YOU will be at home.
- Never was home so happy that a
scold could not convert il into bcdlam.
- Wisdom, wit, grace and sense are
qualities seldom united in the same per-
sou.
- Prentice thinks some of the South
ern leaders may yet turn out to be high
strung gentlemen.
- To prevent the rising of flour, the
authorities Of Maine have prohibited the
manufacture Of yeast.
- Hair-em scar-em fellows-the men
who endcavor to look lierccly by cultivat-
ing profuse whiskers.
= When is an Irish girl most dispos-
ed to take compassion on her lover? p
When her heart goes pity-Pat.
- King Alcohol falls when his advo-
Gates attempt to support him, and they
fall when he attempts to support them.
- The tear Of loving girl is like q
dewdrop on the rose; but that on the
cheek of wife is drop of poison to her
husband.
- The Spartans made money of iron,
says the Portland AdVertiSer. SO do the
Pennsylvanians, with the assistance of n
protective tariff.
- The editor of down east paper
talks about his frame of mind. A coten-
porary suggests that he may have the
frame of one, but that is all.
- Initiate the example of the locomo-
tive. He runs along, whistles over his
work, and yet he never takes anything
but water TO wet his whistle!
- Money and time are the heaviest
burthcns of life, and the unhappiest of all
mortals are those who have more of eth
er than they know how to use.
- Gcutleman-A man with fast
horse not paid for; fashionable clothes,
for which the tailor suffers; cane in his
hand and long nine in bis mouth.
- The power of dreams forces the in
finite into the chambers of the human
brain, and throws dim reflections from the
eternities upon the mirrors cf the sleep
ing mind.
= Dobbs the portrait painter says
that the reason tom-cats are so musical is
because they are all fiddle strings inside.
Hand us that old boot-scat, YOU night
brawlers
- Pleasure is to woman what the
sun is to the flower; if moderately ly enjoy
ed, it beauties, it refreshes, and it i'm
proves-if immodcraiely, il withers, de-
teriorates and destroys.
|
- "Bll,' said Bob, "why is that
tree called weeping willow" "Cause
one of the sneoking, plaguy things grew
near our school-house, and supplied the
master with switches"
- They say there is man living in
Monmouth who attends church regularly,
and clasps his hands so tight during pray
er time, that he can't get them open
when the contributors basket comes
round.
Mrs. Partingtcn has a friend in the
army. Being asked one day what bis
station was replied: "For two years he
was leftenant for the horse marines, and
after that he was pronotcu 10 De captain
of squad of sapheads and minors"
"Mrs. Spriggs, will you be helped
to small piece of the turkeyw "Yes,
my dear Mr.. Wilkins, | will" "What
part would you prefer, my dear Mrs.
Spriggs9" 81 will have the two wings,
a couple of the legs, some of the breast,
the side bone, some filling,and few dump
lings TO begin with-as l feel very unwolI
today"
- Freddy is less than four years old.
His sister, who is not quite a year old, was
sitting in her fathers lap crying aud fret.
ting for her mother, who had gone out
when Freddy turned to her and said il
the most earnest manner possible, there
Alice, you've cried enough; there's no use
fretting any moro. Mothers gone away
and father don't keep the article go,
wdnt."