Gallipolis journal. [volume] (Gallipolis, Ohio) 1837-1919, 1862-09-18
AN IMAGINARY CITY.
A SHORT STORY OF GrMPsUA's GREAT
INVESTMENT,
By FALcoNBRrpeE.

By EALCONBRiDGE.
We are surviving one great hum,
modern times, at least, for the days {
imaginary city lots, visionary gol
veins. coal mines, copper diggins. an
pirates buried treasures, are surel
numbered il not passed. There are to
many real live fixtures now for men t
invest in, to allow the getters up @
itbographic cities and pencil-sketch Goa
mines to mislead the floating capitalist
But there pas time, in ye days o
water-lots. great timber lands speculs
tons in Maine, coal mania up th'
Schuylkill, and the great, never-to-be
forgotten grand inland city of Metrop
oils scheme. out west, when excited
purses got the better of common sense
and men. great on calculations wer,
took down quite to the knees. Like tn,
boys cut finger, it's all very well tC
grin at when the smart is over; and i
the reader does not find information
and amusement in the story of Gymp.
sums investment, we have no faculty
for discovering the humorous side oI
mel and matters.
James Gympsum invented patent
machine for breaking fax; he was a
hard working machinist, frugal and in
dustrious, and his wife just such chip
of the same block. By dint OF econo-
my, Gympsum. at fifty, and his wife
at fve-and-lorty, found themselves
blessed with quite considerable sized
family, and something laid up for the
"rainy day"
Gympsum was mstter-of-fact meth
odical man, honest and upright IN his
commerce with men, and of course the
much less theory calculated to believe
IN and understand other mems chichan-
cry and cunning. Gympsum had long
cherished an idea Of removing to the
West. buying up tract Of land, and
founding homes for his offspring-a
Christian notion, truly: and when.
one day. there appeared on the outside
Of Gibbin's window-shutter, at the
post-ofice of McCrackensyille, near
which yankee town" Gympsum lived,
large "poster" setting forth, that on
such day, at such number. up stairs,
Wall street, New York. a grand con-
solidated lsnd-sale would take place,
by way of lottery, upon a scheme BY
which man, paying in one hundred
-1oliarc for a abanI or pup,har uo,,lJ
be entitled to draw from one to one hun
dred acres of the finest land in the State
of Illinois.
The grand, consolidated Metropolitan
city and land cOmpony, having State
charter and vast grant Of land, to be
cut up into large and small farms, sun
dry villages, lead mines, railroads,
rivers. and the great city of Metro
polls!
It would take more time and space
than we can afford in this article, to
give half of the great inducements
held forth to small capitalists, bv the
aforesaid grand, consolidated, Metro
poiitan city and land company. The
agent, who passed through McCrack-
ensville, posted the bills, and was fu-
emily communicative upon all questions
touching the grand. consolidated, Me-
tropolitan city and land company. He
knew all the members-they were the
''frst men" of the country, of course,
and this scheme would afford the great
est chance ever known, to invest a few
hundred dollars, in safe and elegant
arrangement.
The city Of Metropolis was all laid
out-plans of the lots, lanes, streets.
plozos, hotels. churches. jails, court
houses, ETC., etc. In fact, to hear the
agent explain the bills, and eulogize
the plans, was enough to fascinate any
small cash capitalist. 1t did have Just
that effect upon Gynpsum; he returned
home. lit his pipe. and retiring to his
workshop. sat down and had good
long smoke over the brilliant scheme OF
the grand, consolidated, Metropolitan
city and land company.
When Mrs. Gympsum came out to
hunt up the old man to come to dinner.
she found such cloud of smoke issu-
ing from the shop door, that she was
amazed. She poked in her head. and
just discerning Gympsum,enrapti in the
huge clouds Of vapor, she calls out, in
her usually hearty strain
"Heigho! Lor' sakes alive! why,
Gympsum, what are you at-going to
turn yourself into bacon, or smoked
berring?'
"Martha--dear-my mind is made
up" says Gympsum.
at is, eh?" says Mrs. G.; "weTl.
your stomach's empty, guess, SC
come right along in, and drop yer
pipe"
eyes, Martha" continues Gymp.
sum, knocking the ashes from bis pipe
upon the palm Of his great. broad
honest, and hardy hand, "I'm done
with the patent, fax machines, ant
McCrackensville--my minds made W
off Igo to-morrow--God spares mt
TO take my chance"
"Take your dinner, you noodle you'll
cries Mrs. Gympsum; "why. you tall
like cracked tea:pot--what's it 81
about?"
New cityAMetropolls-grand lottery
for one hundred dollars ! can get I
ticket, and draw"
"Nonsensel" exclaims Mrs. G.
"Nonsensei no, Mrs. Gympsum, ,
new city lot, and row of tall bricl