Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1862-08-07
THE THREE WIVES.
by F. II. COOK

A1r. Jeduthun Spike was an eccentric bacbelt
60 of fifty. His mother died in giving him brit
and it would seem that the mothers heart die
= with her, for from thai hour the hspless judi
thun seemed to have no perception of femin Il
= excellence, and diverted himself with ridiculin
: the foibles of the sex, whose true character wa
to him despised enigma. As a babe, he wa
!, fed and tended by an invalid brother man
: years his senior and he afterward grew in sta
ure, and hard, ungenial kind of wisdom, with
: cut much matToniziug from any body. A
years and possessions increased, he boarded at
fashionable hotel, where the cook and attend
ants were OF his own sex, and ignored the ad
=. | dress OF bis laundress. His pTedisDosition
! against matrinOny were confirmed and strength
ened by the fate of the brother alluded to, VIII
married somewhat late in life, and after an un
9 hsppy connection Of seven years duration, lef
! his widow permanent inmate of an insane asy
iuin, and his three boys TO the guardianship o
E the uncle. The pient Of this unexpected leg
acy, who had till then loved nothing in the whole
of his miserable life, felt strange pleasure il
the duties OF this new and unsolicited relation
The docility with which the little fellows accom-
mOdaled themselves to the oddities of the eccen
tTic huUorist, their uDquestioning faith in his
most startling dOgmas, and their artless exhbi.
tions of personal attachment, won upon his iso
lated nature to degree that surprised himself
II seemed that these helpless children were des-
tlned to fulfill to the lonely man that feminine
mission, without which, human life is a failure
and happiness a myth. With devotion and
patience hardly to be expected of him. he reared
the fragile boys to manhood, gave them all the
needful advantages OF books and schools and
pocket money, and at last saw them all estab-
iished in business, and in a way to do credit to
themselves and to their connections. Judge
| then OF his painful astonishment when all three
! waited upon him in body, to announce that
they had jointly and severally formed the auda-
clous resolution Of committing matrimony
Neither would have dared to approach the sub
Ject alone, and though countenanced bv each
ether, they felt 80 much gratitude, reverence and
compassion for the prsjudiced old man, that they
fairly trembled for the result
! When the confession was made to Mr.. Jedu-
/ thun Spike, lie turned MS back on the agitated
young men, and walked quickly to the window.
After standing silently Tor sCme minutes, he
! turned and said very calmly:
! wen, boys, have nuTsed you through the
measles and the scarlet fever and the whooping
cough, and l did nv best to alleviate what /
! could not prevent. You are now the victims of
a disorder quite as general as the others, and
| tor which there is no remedy but experience.
| Neither pTecept nor example '-here his Inns
] quivered siightly-"haye been of any avail in
your case. Go then and marry if you will |
| give my fun consent, on one condition only.
II IS that you ell present yourselves in three
years from this day and hour, and declare
solemnly, upon the worth of your remaining
manhood, whether you are unhappy, and why.
The causes Of misery in FTedlock are various
but the result is uniform. l will excuse you
now, boys, as have an appointment with my
tailor"
1t is needless to say that ths three nephews
avalled themselves Of the permission thus un-
a~rd EhoH Ill -
they might feel at defeating the cherished wishes
OF their kind benefactor did not seriously en-
bitter the honeymoon. The three years that fol-
lowed stole handful Of grey hairs from the bald
forehead OF Jeduthun Spike, and, as if ashamed
oI the THEFT secretly restored them hidden
among the chestnut locks of his young relations
And, ss a further restitution, the same silent
agents transferred uunoticed a portion of the
hopeful tenderness Of the youthful Benedicts to
refresh the wishelo1 heart Of the disappointed |
bachelor. The time for the interview so long
anticipated arrived st last. In the luxurious |
rooms Of the lonely uncio, Henry aDd Charles, |
the two elder nephewS, waited impstently the |
arTivsl Of the younger.
at is useless looking for Edward" said /
Charles, at last. 81 We shan't see him before /
evening. His wife is now locking for needle |
to darn his stockings, and replace the missing |
buttons upon his cOet"
without, sud the tardy brother entered the room,
breathing qRiskly, and with a smiling apology |
for his delay. The two first arrived exchanged |
meaning glances, but the merciless uncle cut |
short their merTiment, by saying gravely:
Henry, ny boy, you are the Oldest. Il is |
Just that yea should lead upon this occasion
Eel US frankly, how do you enjoy married lifel"
Ihe young man paused for moment, then,
with comical grimsce that but lily concealed
his reluctance, he replied:
" It is bitter dose TO swallow, confess. IN
Gle, you are Tevenged."
There was slight movement Of surprise, for
Mr.. Henry Spike was recognized as decidedly
notable
Il thought" said the uncle dryly, that yours
was pattern wife"
"Only too much So" returned the nephew.
. Is my belief that she was modelled upon the
most approved patterns and made up to order.
Ii ever there was machine for performing me-
every outward virtue it is Mrs Henry
Spike. She never loses her temper, indeed /
doubt if she has any TO lose. She never betrays
any hutter of vanity or wounded feeling To
the calmness OF a statue, she adds an instructive
OF decOrum, rigid adherence to rec
titude, which leaves nothing to hope or fear, and
aud very little to enjoy Nothing can disturb
her. When our infant was dangerously i'll, she
moved about his cradle with the same unper-
tuTbed eomposure, and dropped his last cordial,
as we thought, into the cup with rntremblng
hand'
Il hardly sac how you came to marry her, e" re-
marked Edward, pr pareptbese
"She was pretty, aud l mistOok her natural
roses for bushes and her silence for delicate re-
serve. ] was much moved when she once left
mo Ia tears; l have since learned that she had
the toOth-ache. l can never find in her deport-
meat anything to forgive, and 1 am tired of
praising where correctness seems inevitable Be
sides, she don't care for praise. She was wound
up at birth, and her heart pulsates with the reg
ularity Of pendulum. Ii / should hang my
self OF pure cnRRi, l know she would arrange
everything fer 2 respectable burial My condI-
.ion is desperate. In passing through New York
last winter, l Teligiou5ly avoided seeing L Il
AIontez, for / knew l should be smitten at q
glance. The slightest touch of human frailty
seems absolutely refreshing. Speak, brother"
be added after a brief pause, "and in mercy
point out some defect in Mrs, Charley Spike"
Mrs. Charley Spike" responded the person
sis not absolutely stupid nor entirely
Indifferent in matters of feeling She gives
some variety to life in point Of temper, and per.
nits me 10 hope to please, as well as fear to Of
lend. But like your Rectima, she has, alas
)ne paramount idea, Order is Heavens first .
sw,' and it is not the less that Of my immscu- !
ale Vesta. Especially does she insist upon the
most spoLess neatness, at the expense of all /.
other considerations. ]
discovered soon after nay marriage that the
world Yves little too good to live in The par
ors were shut up to exclude the flies, the cham ,
Oers to avoid the dust, The dining room furni-
ture was robed IN Holland covers, and ugly mats
deiOrmed every square yard Of carpeling. Ca i
naries were banished because they Uttered their
cage, and my pet spaniel dismissed for neglect
ing to wipe his feet. The pickles spoil the cut
lery, and eggs eorrode the silver. coffee is liable
to stain the linen, and even butter, if incsu-
tiously used, may be the parents Of grease
spot Cigars have long since abjured, because
spittooas are an sbomnaion. IF sit, it is,
MIR Spike, your chair mars the wall or
.Charlea- Won are rnekino nnnr tha rr.r IL I 1.