Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1862-08-22
d0uetester @ailg Syn
"Happiness Cor one BIack.n
BY oRPHEUs C. KERR.

1HS otHer uay went down to AccOmac
again, to see the general of the Mackerel
Brigade, who had invited me to be present
while he made an offer of bliss to a delega-
ton from that oppressed race which has been
the sole cause of this unnatural war, and is,
therefore, exempt from all concern in it.
The general, my boy, was seated in his
temporary room of audience, when arrived,
examining map of the border states through
apowertul magnifying glass, and occasionally
looking into tumbler as though he expected
to find something there.
''Well, old Honesty" says l affaby, ''what
is our next scheme for the benefit Of the hui
man racer"
He smiled paternally upon me, and says he,
at is my purpose to settle the negro question
in accordance with the principles laid down in
the book of Exodus. Thunderr' saws the
general, with magisterial emphasis, eff we do
not secure the pursuit of happiness to the
slave even, we violate the constitution, and
become obnoxious to the border communi-
ties"
l was rejecting upon this remark, my boy,
and wondering what the constitution had to do
with the book of Exodus, when the delegation
made It's appearance, and caused the room to
darken perceptibly. Not to lose time, the
general waved his hand for the visitors to be
seated, and says he,
''You and we are different races, and for
this reason it must be evident to you as well
as to myself, that it is better you should be
voluntarily compelled to colonize some dis
tant but salubrious shore. There is a wide
difference between our races-much wider.
perhaps, than that which exists between any
other two races. Your race suffers very
greatly, and our race suffers in suffering your
race to suffer. In word, we both suffer;
which establishes reason. why our race
chnnlH mt 90
any longer. You who are here are all pres
ent, SUPPOSED"
A voice-'Yes, sah.'
perhaps you have not been here all your
lives. Your race is suffering the greatest
wrong that ever was; but when you cease to
suffer your sufferings are still far from an
equality with our sufferings. Our white men
are now changing their base of operations
daily, and often taking Malvern Hills This
is on your account. You are the cause of it.
How you have caused it [ will not attempt to
explain, for | do not know; but it is better
for us both to be separated, and it is vilely
selfish in you Il do not speak unkindly) to
wish to remain here in preference to going to
Nova Zembla. The fact that we have always
oppressed you renders you still more blama-
Bile, especially when we reflect upon the fact
that you have never shown resistance. A trip
on your part to Nova Zembla will benefit both
races. | cannot promise you much bliss
right away. You may starve at first, OF die
on the passage; but in the revolutionary war
General Washington lived exclusively on the
future. He was beneftting his race; and
though l do not see much similarity between
his case and yours, you had better go to Nova
Zembla. You may think that you could live
in Washington, perhaps more SO than you
could on foreign shore. This is a mistake.
None but white army contractors and briga-
diers on furlough can live here
The festive isle of Nova Zembla has been
in existence for some time, and is larger than
any smaller place | know of. Many of the
original settlers have died, and their offspring
would still be living had they lived long
enough to become accustomed to the climate.
You may object to go, on account of your at-
lection for our race, but it does not strike me
that there are any cogent reasons for such af
lection. So you had better go to Nova Fem
bla. The particular place l have in view for
your colonization is the great highway be-
tween the north pole and Sir John Franklin's
supposed grave. 1t is popular route OF tray
ell, being much frequented by the facetious
penguin and the flowing seal. 1t has great
resources for ice-water, and you will be able
to have ice-cream every day, provided you
supply yourselves with the essence of lemon
and patent freezers. As to other food, can
on all sides of this place, and though you may
see no ships there it will be still some salts
faction to know that you have such admirable
harbors. Again, there Is evidence of very
rich bear-hunting. When you take your
wives and families to place where there is
no food, nor any ground to be cultivated, nor
any place to live in, the human mind would
as naturally turn to bear-hunting as to any
thing else. But if you should die of starva-
ton at the outset, even bear-hunting may
dwindle into insigniicance. Why l attach
such Importance to bear-hunting is, it will af-
ford you an opportunity to die more easily
than by famine and exposure. Bear-hunting
is the best thing know of under such cir
cumstances.
''You are intelligent, and know that human
life depends as much upon those who possess
it as upon anybody else. And much will de-
pend upon yourselves if you go to Nova Fem
bla. As to the bear-hunting, think seethe
means available for engaging you in that very
soon without injury to ourselves l wish to
spend little money to get you there, and may
possibly lose it ALL but we cannot expect to
succeed in anything if we are not successful
in it.
The political affairs of Nova Zemble are not
in such a condition as l could wish, the bears
having occasional fights there over the body
OF the last EsquimauX governors but these
bears are more generous than we are. They
have no objection to dining upon the colored
race.
Besides, l would endeavor to have you
made equals, and have the best assurance that
you should be equals of the best. The prac-
teal thing / want to ascertain is, whether
csn get certain number of able-bodied men
to send to place offering such encourage
ment and attractions. Could get a hundred
tolerably intelligent men, with their wives
and children, to partake of all this bliss? Can
l have fifty? If L had twenty-five able bodied
men, properly seasoned with women and chill
dren, could make commencement These
are subjects of very great Importance and
worthy a months study of the paternal offer l
have made you. Ifyou have no consideration
for yourselves, at least consider the bears,
and endeavor to reconcile yourselves to the
beautiful and pleasing little lesson of child
hood commencing,
~ would not live Away,
ask not to stayi
AT the termination of this fattering and pa
ternal address, my boy, the delegation took
their hats and commenced to leave in very
deep silence; thereby proving that persons of
African descent are utterly insensibie 10 kind.
ness, and much inferior to the race at present
practising strategy on this continent.
Colonization, my boy, involves a scheme Of
human happiness so entirely beyond tbe bn.
man power of conception that the conception