Council Bluffs bugle. [volume] (Council Bluffs, Iowa) 1860-1868, 1862-06-04
HON. SUIT LOvEGooD'S DADDY
-su-E ACTED H0SS.

"Hold that ere boss to the yearth!"
''He's sprsAdiu' his tail to ay nowE"
s'Kssp kim whaR be is!,
sFWoa, ahaystaii /"
These and like expressions we're address
sed to queer-looking, long legged, short
bodied, smalEheaded, white haired, bog
eyed, funny sort Of genius, fresh from
some secondhand closhing store, and
mounted on aTaspoke,n nick tailed,
long poor hoss, half brandy, half devil,
and envsloped all over in 1 perfect net
work Of bride, Heins, cruppeTs, martin.
gales, strapss sxreinglesy red ferrekin',
wba reined up Ia fr0as Of Pat N&Sk's
grocery among crowd of wild noun.
| Gaineers, full Of fght and bad whiskey.
81 say, you darned ash-earts, iist keep
your shirts on, will ye. You never seed
raal boss till rode up. Taxpoke is jist
next TO the beat hoss that ever shefled
nnbbins, and he's dead rs a still worm,
poor old Tiekytail!''
HWhAt killed him, Sus," said al anx-
ious inquirer.
"Why, nuthin', you tarnal fool! He
jist died-died a standin' up, at that
Warn't that good pluck? Proze stiff
| 30, not that, AdEaely, bat starved fust,
and then froEe afterwards, so stiff, that
when dad an me pushed him over, be
jist stuck out so, (spreading his arms and
legs,) like carpenters bench, and so We
| waited seEenteen days for him to thsw
| &fore We could skin him. Well, thar We
was-dsd an me-(coanting on his
| fngers.) Dad am rue, Sal an Jake,
Fool Jake, we used to call hlm for
short } an Phineas, an Simeon, an
Jonas, an ChaEIoteann, an Calliue Jane,
an Cashgs Henry Clay, an Noah Dan
Webster, an me, an the twin gals, an
Oathrine Oecond, am CIeopasry Antony,
an Jane Lind, an Tom Bullion, an the
baby, an marin herself, all left without
boss to crap With. That was nice
mess for 'speetahe family TO be slash
in about in, warn't it? be darned if
didn'E feel like Btealia' hOss sometImssl
Well, we waited an rested, an waited
until we'll into strawberry time, hopin'
that some strey hoss meut come along,
but dog my cats, ef eny such luck as that
ever comes whar old day is, hs's SO dEat-
ted mean, an la&y, an ugly, an savage,
| al ttlAiA
"Well, one night, dad be lay awake all
mite snortin' an rolIin' an whisperin'
at q mann, an next morrin', sex he:
"Sut, I'll tell you what veil do; Pl
be boss myself, and pull the pillow, while
you drive me, and we'll break up corn
ground, and then the old quils (that's
Enarm) and the brats kin plant it or let 1t
alone, jist as they - please"
$50 out We goes to the Paw-psw thick.
Il, and peeled righ smart chance Of
bark, and nam and me made gears for
dad, and they beeoms him nightly; then
ho would have q bride, 90 gifts an old
umbrella what foand-it's little fork
cd piece Of iron, sorter like onto pitch
fork, ye know-and we bent and twisted
it sortsr antu bridle-hit, sniall shape,
dad wanted il kurd, rs he said be hada' t
worked for some time, and he might
sorter feel his oats and 60 to cavortin'. }
Well, when we got the bride all 6xed on
dad, no chomped tbs Bit jist like hoss,
he always a moss complicated burned
old fool, eny how, aud nam always said
90, when he warnt about then put on
the gears, and out dad and me goes 20
the fsld, q Leading dad By the bride,
and tOtin' theggopher plough on my back.
When we come TO the fence, let down q
> gap and made dad mad--he wanted to
: jump the fence On all fours, hoss way
hitehed him TO the gopher, and away We
D went, dad leanin' forward to his puIlini
: right peart, and We made sharp plowin'
: dad soinP rite over the bushes and sprouts
D same as rale boss, the only difference i,
be went OF two legs, ... .-.g.
presently We came 10 ssssafac patch
q and dad TO keep up his ksraCser rs Z
hoss, buigsd square into IL, and tor
: down hornets nest nigh onto 40 big o
3 . boss head, and all the tribe kiTeret
e him right strate. He rared and kickeS
. once on twice, and fotched squeal wa
nor any hoss in the district, and sos init
= runnin' away jist as natural as ever yos
= seed. let 90 the lines, and holleFed
: sw0a, dad wnaP but yon nighs ss vel
7 have said woa TO q LOCOMOTIVES. Ge whil
o Ikinsi how he ran; when be cum to
: bush, he'd clear the cop Of ii, gopher AM
. ali; p'raps be Thoughts there must b
o another settlement ov bald hornets In it
! and that 1t was safer q "a over shai
. thrue, and quicker done assfy now an
Z fhan he'd paw ssle side ef his Read wit
y bis fass enc fore Ieg and them t'othai
9 then he'd gin hinsalf an Upanhaxded slar
y that sounded likes wagouwhips and run
u mag alI tbs sims, an, kaxrisn shss eopha
= Just about ~ fast and high from sh
% yearth - ever ; gopher vas karzieds
Z. swaFf
er ssWhan he cAsae 70 tbs fsaee he basse
Is yswhs thrxass IA tearing dasxu ys4yh t5ses