The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1862-05-14
WHOLE NO. 29l.
Calebss Complaint.


Every one who has ever soiourned in
Milwaukee, or visited it often. has heard Of
"Caleb'--th, ubiquitous Caleb Wall, auc-
tioneer. Well, c. and the third ward, his
garden and shrubbcry and encroaching cat
tie and swine, have been at issue for years
The prosecuted has Illuminated bulletin af
ter bulletin at the prosecutors, to say moth
ing of divers dornicks and fragmcntary
bricks, but still peace forever eludcd his de-
sires and hope abandoned his premises. In
this extremity he has published the follow
ing complaint in the daily Sentinel:
"And it came to pass that I, Caleb, So
journed in the land Of milk and honey, in
the beautiful city by the sea, which is called
the lake Mlch GAN by the Sweet Singer
| saw that the place was good, and that the
land yielded plentifully Of every herb and
living thing, and my heart smote me that
had tarried so long.
And it came to pass that I settled, an
chored my scow, put out my graphing
irons, and did industriously build up for my.
self an occupation, AMI weut in lemons on
making money; yea, did SAIL in for the
spondulics. and built me an house and beau
tilted its corners, and laid out the pleasure
grounds thereof with divers kinds of plants
and trees that were pleasant to the sight,
and OF bnlbeous and exotic roots did gath.
er many for the beautifying thereof, so that
it was said ofmy potato patch: Behold, there
is Hone like it in the land. And the enyious
were sore of hear, because of the immensity
OF my cabbages. lifted up mine eyes and
was glad at the sight, and said in my soul:
This is goodly heritage, and the yield
thereof is some pumpkins.
But in an evil hour the Shittimites and
the sons of Erin did send against me their
unclean beasts. The beasts of the field
came upon me. They leaned up against
the trees and "chawed" the sweet smelling
bark thereof They roared like unto the
bulls Of Bashan, and the land land the
front stoop) was defiIed Swine more nu-
merous than the sands upon the sea shorc
sought out my pleasure grounds and laid
waste the vineyards, tearing and trampling
my flowers, roofing up my herbs and car
rying captive my turnips. In my anger |
cried aloud for help, and the heavens were
as brass. 1put on sackcloth, and borrowed
Il handful of ashes, and sous ght the Chief
Magistrate. But the spirit of dcsolation
brooded over the land, and laid its sottcst
eggs on my gravel walks, and to my cries
there came only the voice Of mockery from
the Council, saying, Root, little pig, or
die"
And it came to pass that the swine de-
voured every green thing and living herb,
except some prickly pears) and vengance
came upon the rulers, and they were smit-
ten with fear and trembling, and the spirit
OF the swine entered into them, that their
hearts were hardened. and they said, shall
we modest these creatures that be like unto
US, and it was answered: No, rather root
hog or die, the cattle upon thousand hills
shall be ours, and therefore shall il be said
that the land tioweth with milk and honey.
And 1t came to pass that Caleb shock the
dust OF the city from his sandals and cried
aloud: Woe unto the city of hogs. Heark
en- unto my council and say not that the
evil is atar off, behold it com eth and des.
truction and much manure closeth in upon
thee Thy land shall be a by ord and thy
heritage dung hill, and all thy pleasant
places by-word among the children of men.
And it came to pass that Caleb again shook
Oft the dust Of the city (Which was plen-
tcous in the eXtreme) SO that it is spoken of
to this day by the Shittimitcs that "he cot
up and busted"