The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1862-04-01
YANCEY AND MASON.
From the Albany Journal, Feb, %.
JEFF. DAVIS'S INAUGURAL
A Broad BurlesQuc,

Jefferson Davis delivers his Inaugural Ad.
dress at Richmond today. We can imagine
the great Rebel unbosomng himself some
thing after the following fashion:
."Fclow Traitors! / congratulate YOU up
on the last years work. We have performed
wo' ders. We have done 'bi. thing in the
grand larceny line. We have reduced steal
ng to one Of the fno arts. We have made
perjury one Of the learned professions We
have elevated the reputation of honest debts
TO the rank of n cardinal virtue. We have
made bankruptcy one OF our peculiar institu
tons. We have inaugurated new code of
morals. We have partially restored society to
that good old primitive condition when one
could take purses aud slit jugulars without
compromising his good name. We have
brought new mllenial dispensaton where
every man can help himself to his neghbor S
goods-where every man has a lien upon his
neighbor's witc-where every man can lie,
and steal, and peGure himself with none to
modest or make him afraid.
I'VE found tho country in state of the
most scottish peace. We found the people in
a condition of the most alarming contentment.
We found degree of prosperity existing, the
most disgusting and degrading We found
the world buried, as it were, in the pursuits of
its peaceful ends. We found the masses in-
dulgiDg in the most grovellng beresies with
respect TO the Government-oheying its laws,
submitting to its burdens, and remaining con-
tent under its sway. We found them infatu
ated with a veneration for the founders Of the
Repubic-stark mad over an old fogy called
Washington, and idiotically ceaving to the
dclusion that Jefferson was statesman and
Patrick Henry an orator. We found life safe,
private property securc, the Ten Command
ments quoted by men pretending to BE- cloth.
cd in their right mind, the Truth prevalently
spoken, and lock picking and pocket-picking
at discount.
'But we have inauguratcd new dispensa
ton. We have created new moral heaven,
and new moral earth. We have inverted
the social pyramid. We have reversed the
wheels of progress. We have put back the
dial hand OF time two centuries. We have
discovered the piferer's paradise
"Nay, more: We have awakened the
country from its long trance Of peace. We
have let loose the fiends Of dis,ord. We have
Sc, thirty millions of people to cutting each
others throa,s. We have trampled the flag
Of our fathers in the dust. We have emanci.
pated ourselves from the tram.nels Of law and
order. We have taught the folly of being
bound 10y oaths and obligations. We have re-
instatei toe regime Of brute force. We have
brought tribulation to the North and ruin TO
tho Soath.
"Fellow Traitors! So much for the Past
the Future, | am free to confess, looks rather
nebulous. We have met the enemy, and
we are theirs! The ""vandal hordes" of the
North are in oar very midst-and what is
worse, insist upon staying. They refuse to
obey our summons to dcpart-they refuse to
be frightened at our magnificent threats
they even have the audac,ty to argh at our
proclsmatons. Moreover, we have been
stricken with new disease: 1t is Powder
phobla. The moment the victim is attacked,
he turns pale, gets weak in the knee Joints,
becomes infirm in the region of the dia.
phragm, and is seized with an irresistible iu..
pulse to turn tail. This maady prevailed To
a frightful extent in our camp at Roanoke, at
Mill Spring, at Fort Henry and Fort Donel.
son.
"Fellow Traitors! | have concluded to post.
pone mI..J2mised visit to Washington for the
pro-. '.rcumstances beyond my control
have compelled me to give Old Abe another
years lease Of the Big Hotel across the Po,
tomac.'