The Ottawa free trader. [volume] (Ottawa, Ill.) 1843-1916, 1862-06-28
A Live Yankees Trick.

I A Live Yankees Trick.
A live Yankee from the Green Noun
tains of Vermont visited the city of Lon
don. While passing through one of the
principal thoroughfares of trade and travel
his attention was suddenly arrested by
some beautiful specimens of writing paper
exposed for sale at shop window. See.
ing the proprietor of the establishment
standing at the door, the Yankee ciyilly
inquired Of HIM what he did with them
nice bits of paper"
We keep them to tie up cape seek IN, -
said the cockney, snappishly .s aa-
20, ye du--du yer said Jonathan,
while he looked as though he was invent
Jug trick with which he intended to pay
Oft the impertinent cockney in his own
coin. Passing down the street few steps,
ou3 pdignant Yankee saw another mer.
chant, who was not only an English man,
but gentleman also
say, mister, can you tell me what
that fellow duz for livin' what keeps
them nice bits of paper at the winder?
Ies, sir; he is small paper dealer,
and sort Of scribe. He writes letters for
those persons who desire his assistance"
reckon he is very small dealer, and
that he is a pharisce as well as a scribe
De ye think hed write letter for me if
pay him for it?'
Certainly he will, and jump at the
chance That is his principal occupa.
ton"
The Yankee thrust his hands q might
add aims) in his pockets almost up to his
elbows, for he felt the sting in the waspish
words uttered by the paper dealer and
walked back to the shop where he had
been SO rudely treated
say, mister, they say as how you sell
paper and write letters for folks what
can't write. What will you tax to write
letter to nv sister Sally,'
Il shall charge you FIVE shillings,"
replied the Englishman, softening his
tone"
"Wiil ye write jest what ! tell We, and
spell the words right, as we do in Var
mount? inquired the Yankee
To be sure ! will / understand LILY
business perfectly.
Well, | don't care If ye du; ! guess
you nay write to Sally"
The Londoner procured pen. ink and
paper, and the Yankee commenced dc
dating after the following style:
Dear sister Sally
Hev yer got that down.
Yes"
Rived in London last week"
liev yer got that down and spclt
right
"Yes-go on
Thought Id have a ride, so hired an
old mare"
Have you got that down.
'Ees, yes-go on; don't detain me SO"
a. pay yet five shillings, don, ], by and
by 2
! Yes, but what Is the use of interrupt
ing me so often.
That's my business, and not yourn
Wal the Old mare baulked'
Baulked is a hard word can YOU spell
baulked 80 that Sally will know what it
means
To be sure can
Wal don care eff We du"
she wouldn't 20, SO licked her
We'll, 90 on"
Licked her licked her-liked her"
What is the use Of saying it SO many
many tines
None of your business. / pay you
five shIllings-licked hcr-licked her
licked her-licked her-licker - lickcd
her
This page is full of licked hers"
Turn over then; licked her-licked
her-lcked her licked her-licked her
She wouldn't 90 then. SO | got on. and
kicked her-kicked her-kicked her
kicked her-her
You are not intending to say that as
many times as you SAID licked her.
None of Your business | pay you five
shillings-kicked her-kicked her-kick-
ell her-kicked her-kicked She would
not 90 then, and SO sharpened the end
OF. the whip handle, aud pricked her
pricked her-pricked her-pricked her
pricked her"
IL cannot see any sense in this"
Never you mind, pay you for what
you do-licked her-kicked her-pricked 4,
her-licked her-kicked her-pricked
her-lieked her-kick her-pricked her
licked her-kicked her-pricked her
licked her-kicked her--prieked her
She wouldn't 90 then, SO got in and
- there the Yankee made chirrup-
ping noise with his tongue and lips which
bids defence to orthography.)
Il cannot spell that, said the English
oh ye can't spell that, ha? Wal. We
needn't write any more for me, if ye can't
spell that"
Need not write any more p said the
cock ney, with look of astonishment
No more, said the Yankee, perfectly
Not word to close with p
mary a word" ar
"You will pay me for what l have |
.... .. -....
Not a red You didn't write down all
I told you tu."
"Well, sir. what am | to do with all
this paper have spoiled 2 rl el |
Keep it 10 tie .sp cape seed IN"