The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1862-06-18
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
For secession geese-Mchi-ganders.
A HOT side for tho rebels. General
Burnside.


A HOT side for tho rebels. General
Burnside.
AN editor who was going a courting,
said he was "going to press"
GOVERN your thoughts when alone,
and your tongue when in company.
IT'S with life as with cofee-ho who
would drink it pure, must not drink it to
the dregs.
WHEN man gets tho collie by eating
too much, he deserves to be laughed at
for his pains.
IT is stated that tho bcggars Of the
Southern Confederacy positively decline
Confederate notes.
The editor of a paper in Indiana wants
to know if Western whiskoy was ever seen
coming thro' the rye"
We see in recent statement that the
"Census embraces seventeen million wo-
men," Who wouldn't be Census.
A WAC rose from his bed on the 3lst
of last August, and exclaimed, "This is
the last rose Of Summer" Shocking.
"THoU rain'st in this BOSOM" as the
chap said when n basin of water was
thrown over him by the girl ho was scre-
nading.
1
THREE things which never grow rusty
the money of the benevolent, the shoes
of q butchers horse, and a woman's
tongue.
NEVER give boy a shilling to hold
your shadow, whilst you climb treo to
look into the middle Of next week-it is
money thrown away.
Tho Charleston Mercury says that tho
whole South "boils with natural indg-
nation" There will soon be an explosion
or collapse of the boiler.
The great rebel army ran away from
Yorktown and then from Williamsburg
but not until the great rebel Congress had
run away from Richmond.
JEFF. Davis has appointed fast day
If fast days arc days when fast runs arc
made, the rebel Confederacy has moro Of
them than other people ever had.
THE school-master requesting little
boy who had been whispering, to step in
TO the next room, is wiltily spoken Of as
starting on whaling expedition"
TIE water that flows from n spring
docs not CONCEAL in winter. And those
sentiments of friendship which flow from
the heart cannot be frozen in adversely.
| A MILKMAN may have habit of stop
ping daily near the river, and not excite
suspicion; but when we find his little boy
fishing for minnows in the milk pans, VIC
begin TO have our doubts.
A GENTLEMAN popping his head thro
tailor's shop window, exclaimed -
"What o'clock is il by your lapboard y
Upon which the tailor lifted up his lap
; board and struck him n blow on tho head
answering, at has just struck one"
/ A MOBILE paper speaks Of NortherI
, mans being tarrcd and fealhcred in Ala
. bama for lying. If an attempt were made
| TO tar and feather all the liars i'll tn
D Southern Conlederacy, there wouldn't b
G enough geese and pine trees to yield TIN
necessary materials.
AN excited young man to show is agil
ity, recently jumped from an express trail
! while it was going Mt tho rate of fort
: miles an hour. The last seen of HIM h
was turning flip flaps at the rate of sey
enty revolutions minute, while the al
> was full of dickey-strings, and fragment
= = of cloth, boots, and linen.
Y A WESTERN editor on entering his Of
5 fec and seeing his deva cutting up som
+ queer capers, called out to him:
g "Tim, what are you doing on tn
c hoor?"
t "Why, sir, have had n shock"
n "a shock 2"
+ "Yos, sir"
"What kind of q shock 2"
"Why, sir" said the lad gasping, con
S Of your subscribers come in during you
= absence, said he owed for two years sub
c scription, paid it and also paid anothe
year in advance"
n ain advance" gasped the editor, near
d ly as much overcome as his lone appren
} tico.
"Ycs, sir, and il produced such an eI
feet upon me, that have been beside my
@ self ever SINCE"
o "And well you may, Tim. But sc
; up; if you survive this, YOU arc safe, a
= there is little prospect of another such ca
l. tastrophe in this Office"
n GEN. BUTTERFIELD.-Genoral Butter
field, in whose brigade is the Sixtcent
Michipan. Colonel Stockton. was Mt th