The Burlington weekly hawk-eye. [volume] (Burlington [Iowa]) 1860-1876, 1862-11-15

your tickets In ny moral Journal. q sense Of d.tv
may induce Ne 20 favor the side vhooe sivsr
ttsement weighs the neak"
After this gentle insisuatiou, ~ bow. .escl
chap hastily commenced % write kis sdvsrtise
neHt The Republican inscribed his upon I
very hsavy piece Of brown wrapplsgpspsr 4
make II wsighty; bat the Democrat selected I
plain BIT Of fsolscap, ooly putting In hsndred
dollar Treasury note to keep Il from blottine
When the editor came 70 look ct the two. be
eoushsd slightly, and says he: II have alvsy,
been Democrat @
"Bus my advertisement certainly weighs tie
most" says the Republican chap, holly.
The editor ate : ches0ut, and says be: "No,
IN IN intellectual sense, my friend
NY paper 10 twice q heavy % his" says the
chap; "and - to the Treasury Note, had some
scruples-"
There, says the editor, interruptingly, "you
tell TIE whole story, my friend. IL the temple
OF free and reliable press, - we'll - elsewhere,
some seruples bear very little proportion IN
weight to one hundred weight"
The American press, my boy, might occasion
ally adopt - an spproprits motto, the present
hapeleons observation, that ~ Empire e.sss IA
PAY"
Turning from Intellectual matters, let me
glance at our oountry's hope and pride, the
kackerel Brigade, each member of whom feels
confident Of ultimately crushing out this hidsous
Rebellion as soon % national strategy shAll have
revealed the present Whereabouts Of the alright.
ed Confederacy. Last week, my boy, the Brig
ade moved gorgeously from Aceomsc, headed
BY the band, who played exciting strains upon
bis nightkey bugle; and was only fred upon from
the windows of vsyside houses BY helpless wo-
~.
o. do not make war. @
creatures; and 10 % far from having power to
help any other being, that she even can't help
being herself, sometimes.
The sun shone brightly down upon the spec
tacles of the ancient Hackerels a. they once
more took the road toward Paris; and 40 the
light was reflected from the glistening glasses
upon the marmine noses Of which they we're as
tride, it seemed a though each warrior had .
rose in the middle Of his ceuntenance to symbo-
Ike the beautiful idea, that they had oil arose
for their distracted country's preservation.
Captain William Brown, mounted on bis &C.
ometrical steed, Euclid, was conversing aifably
With Captain Bob Shortly, as they rode along
together, when . Lieutenant of the Anatomical
cavalry came daehing toward. him, and says he:
rear guard"
William assumed thoughtful dsmeanor, and
says he: SIS it miss Hre?"
NO." says the Lieutenant, agitatsdly; but We
miss two"
"Not baggage wagons,n says William, giving
such start that Euclid nearly fell upon bis
knees; "don't tell me that two wagons are miss,
ing" II " -
"Why 90, says the Lieutenant, with emotion,
Its not two WaQona that ve naisa lint two
Brigadiers."
"Ah!" says William. tanning himself with his
cap, "Hew you alarmed me. thought at first
that it was two wsgons Let the procession 20
on, and I'll send for two more Briggs the next
time have = friend going to Washington"
1t would please me, by boy, to detail the fur.
ther movements of the kackerels, but the cause
Of strategy demands that Should Gay no more
on that topic just atpresent.
The beloved General of the kackerel Brigade
was at Washington when he heard of the I'd.
vance which his enemies would pretend be did
not direct in person, and says be to the messen-
ger:
"Are my gallant children ready for Aghs."
much %" says the messenger.
rs the weather clear, my child!"
"Salubrious."
"Thunder!" says the idolzed General, valor.
ously; "Taen really believe that must move
my headquarters across the Potomae!"
The Potomac, my boy-to speak with all due
reverence for sacred things-in the numerous
backs and forths it so constantly imposes upon
the military, would seem calculated to turn this
war into another Crusade, and make all our be-
roes literal soldiers of the "crosss
Yours, metaphorically,
ORPHEus G. KERR.