The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1862-04-18
Titfin as'eeklp Tribanr.

Alcoholic Tes.-A red assc. I

n iaNofApit ihlpftstioH-l hltts
A Quaker loves the ocean for its broad
brm.
A stronger mun than Dr. Winship-
The shop liter .|...I| I
When is q man out Of datcl When
he's a.weak back i.l iII|' 4.
"1blush Tor YOU" as The roguc-po,
said to the old in6id. M
Iry you arc a,, and would like TO fall oil
mount vicious horse.
Receipt for making pantaloons last.
Make the coat and vest first
p wifc's farewell to her husbuud every
morning-"Buy and buy"
The estrongest-mindcd woman shrinks
from being caught in her niglt-cap.
messages carefully delivered" as the
car-trumpet said to the old maid.
V n,,y Fars ys'iho wors, kind OF a
traitor at tho prosvnt time is an drbi-
frsIor.
What is the frat thing young lady
looks for in church! The hins aud
Sans.
Don't locate yourself on the bach Of n
wild horse unlusa you want to be dislo.
Gated.
Would bothnisi classify the Ghost
In Hamlet us a species VI deadly night.
shalr3" .r.
When does farmer act with great
rudcness toward his cornl When he
pulls its ears.
Every husbund thinks that he can
tame shrow except the poor fellow who
has her.
A man sdvertises in n Pourhkcepsic
paper: "Wanted, middIe-aged woman
10 couk."
Prentice thinks tits misfortune for Il
mau.to have crooked nose, ior he Vas to
follow Il.
A bed ofgoll is min. Of wealth; but
boy whose fatAcr is vsy rich is minor
OF wealth.
breaches Of contract: Those furnished
by the army contractors To most VI the
new regiments.
lfyou bry what YOU havo no occasion
for, you will soon have to sell what you
cannot spare,
A erusty old bachelcr says that tho talk
ofwomcn is usually about mon. Even
their laugh is but "hol hel hc!"
"My soB, what would you do ir your
dcur father was suddenly taken away from
you" "Swaro and ehaw tobackor."
The scccedng States uro ,ndly in want
Of ice. We presume Congress will mcte
out Justice enough for thcm this sum
mer
Toh lover there arc but two plcrcs in
all the world--onc whrrc hs sweetheart
IL, and the other whore she isn't.
"1'hrrc's more in that fellows head
than you suspect" "No, there ain e said
Dick, "for always Thought he had en- Z"
Where a girl has too many boys about
her, the indication s like that Of buoys
of harbor--shnllow water here.
WHAT'S the difference between stab.
binGs man and killing hog1 Ono is Ou
hCault with intent 10 kill; tho Other, u
hll WIN M IlNouh W S0its
"lf I caught ono Of the rcbcls would
brand him Ms they do cattle" "1'hut
wouldn't hurt thcm," said the Deacon,
'Jcy are used to being brAndy-ed,"
at is very Eickly hcrci said q sen Of
the Emerald Isle, tho other day, to uu-
other. AYES nreplied his compunion, "a
great many have died this year who have
never died before"
Rscersins IL; A rich man told poor
mau that he worked 20 get stomach for
his meat. "And ! )" said the poor man,
work to get moat for my stomach"
Good dinners have Il, harmonsing lu-
fuence. Few disputes are SO long that
they cannot be covered by table
sloth.
II say, John, where did you get that
rogue's hatln "Pleosc yer honor" said
John, "it's an old one ofyours that mssis
gave me yesterday"
Editors however much they m,y be
biased. are fond OF tue word "impartal."
A Gem cteut editor once gave an "im-
partial account Of hailstorm,"
The Grorclers; 1t is impossible to
please some mcn. Hughes speaks OF
Seotehman who said, when he was sem
tenccd to be hanged, that he was "disgus-
ted with the whole proceeding"
swell. Susan, what do you think Of
married ladics being happyp Why,
think there are more dini that is, than is
that sist.
"Johnny, that star is much larger than
this esrth," "No, faint f" ayes il Is"
--"Well ifit is, why don't il keep lhe
rain on this earthi"
"SSn why are Senators Ike dc fshos,
ii don't meddle wid de subject,
Pomp."--"Why, don't yc soc, nigga, be-
cause dey am so fond Oh dc BATE
Said an astronomer to bright-cycd girl,
when talking OF rainbows--"Did you cv-
er see a lunar bow, Missp ~ have seen
sbsw by moonlight, "if that's what you
mean" was the slyTrloinder,
A recruit who il exercised twelve hours
At a stretch under the broiling sun OF
July cannot ong remain RGp.
Pride The DEVILS tratugcm, who
like an expert wrestler, usually gives a
man liit before he gives him a throw
South.
swell, Joems,. said Zeb, 81 kissed
yulia for the first Time, last night, and |
declare IL electrified me. "--"No wonder,
said Jeems, "it was a gSl-vanlc bat
terry"