The dollar weekly bulletin. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1862-1864, 1862-06-26

HOW He CAME TO GET MARRIED
1t may be funny, but I've done it. Nv,
got rib and baby. Shadows departed
oy ster stews, brandy cock tails, cigar boxes
boot jacks, absconding shirt buttons, whis
and dominoes. Shadows present, hoope.
skirts. bandboxes ribbons, CATERS, long stock
ings. juvenile dresses. tin trumpets, willow
chairs. cradles, bibs. pap. sugar teats. pare.
goric. hive syrup. castor oil, Godfrey's cordial
soothing syrup. rhubarb, Soma. salts, squilli
and Doctors bills. Shadows future-more
nine pound babies; more hive syrup. etc.
"rll just tell you how got caught.
was always the darndest, most tea custard
bashful fellow you ever did see; it was
kinder in my line to be taken with the
shakes everytime l saw q pretty girl ap-
! preaching me, and I'd cross the street any
time rather than face one, 'twasn't because I
didn't like the critters. for if was behind
fence looking through knot hole, /
couldn't look at one long enough.
Well, nv sister Lib gave party one nigh t.,
and STAYED away from home because was
too bashful to face the music. I hung
around whistlng Old Dan Tucker dancing
to keep my feet warm. watching tn heads
bobbing up and down behind the window
curtain, and wishing the laundering party
would bresk up so could get to my room.
smoked up bu nch of cigars, and as it WAS
getting late and mighty uncom Portable. l
concluded to shin up the door post. No
sooner said than done and l found myself
snug in bed. Now says l, 'let her rip!-
Dance till your wind gives out! ard scudding
under the quilts Morpheus grabbed me.
,,oe 4 e coft cb lla1 ba nd ctoxv.
ed tripe, ard was having good time, when
som ebody knock ed at the door and woke me
up Rap again. l laid low. Rap, rap,
rap!' Then heard whispering, and knew
there was whole raft Of girls outside.
Rap, rap
Then Lib sings out Jack, are you in
there?'
Yes SAYS 1.
Then came roar Of laughter.
Let us in says she.
L WON'T says | cant you let fellow
aloneH
Are you abed?' says she.
Il am said I.
Get up says she.
i WON'T saws ].
Then came another laugh. BY thunder!
| began to get riled. Get out you petticoat
/ cried. can't you get a beau
90 home with you'll won't-so you may
clear QUIT and throwing boot at tho door,
/ felt better. But presently-oh! mortal
but,ons-I heard a still small voice very
much Ike sister Lbs, which said:
Jack. you will have to get up for all tn g
girls things are in there
Oh. Lord! what pickle! Think Of me
in bed, all covered with shawls. muffs, bon
nets and cloaks. and twenty girls outside
to get in! If had stopped TO think,
should have tainted on the spot. As it
was l rolled out among the bonne:s. wire
and ribbons in hurry. Smash went the
in every direction. had to dress
in the dark-for there was a crack in the
door, and the girls will peep-and the way
l fumhled about was death on straw hats
l opened the door and fnnnd nnysef .isht
among the women.
oh, my Leghorn!' cried one.
My dear, darling, winter velvet!' cried
another.
And they pitched in-they pulled me
this way and that, boxed my ears, and one
bright eyed little piece-Sal--. her
name was-put her arms around my neck.
and kissed me right on my lips. Human
nature couldn't stand that, and I gave her
what she sent. 1t was the first time l ever
got a taste, and it was powerful good. l
believe I could have kissed that gal from
Julius Caesar to the Fourth of July.
Jack said she. I'VE are sorry to disturb
you. but won't you see me home?'
Yes said I, I WILL I did do it. and had
another smack at the gate, too. After that,
we took kinder turtle-doving after each
other, both of us sighing like barrel Of new
cider, when we were away from each other.
Twas at the close Of glorious summer
A. Ill 1sexo
hog pen-the chickens were going to roost.
the bull frogs had commenced their evening
pollywogs in their native mud
puddles, were preparing themselves for the
shades of highland Sal and myself sat
upon an antiquated back log listening to the
music of nature, such as tree toads, roosters
and grunting pigs-now and then the mel
low music of the distant donkey was waited
to my ear by the gentle zcphyrs that sighed
among the mullen stalks, and came heavy
laden with the delicious odor of the ben
roosts and pig-styes. The last lingering
rays of the setting sun. glancing from the
brass buttons of a solitary norseman, shone
through knot hole in the hog pen. full in
Sails face dying her hair an orange peel hue.
and showing off my thread bare coat to
bad advantageous Of my arms was around
her waist, my hand resting upon the small
of her back-she was toying with my auburn
locks of Jet black hue-she looked like
grasshopper dying with the hiccups. and
felt like mud turtle choked with cod FISH
ball.
SAL says I, in voice as musical as the
notes of a dying swan, will you have me"
She turned here yes heavenward. clasped
me by the hand, had an attack of the heaves
and blind staggers, and with q sigh that
drew ber shoeystriugs to her palate. aud
said, yes!
She gave clear out and squatted in my