Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1862-08-30
Artemas Ward among tho Shakers.

Artemas Ward among the Shakers.
sot down to the table, and the female in
the meal-bag poured out some tea. She said
nothing and for five minits the only live thing
in that room was an old wooden clock, which
tickt in a subdooed and bashful manner in
the corner This deathly stillness made mo
Uneasy, and determined to talk to the female
or bust. So sez l.
"Marriage is agin your rules, bleeve,
marm?"
"Yav."
"The sexes live strictly apart, I spect9"
"Yay."
It's kinder singler," sez I, putin on my
most sweetest look, and speakingin winnin'
voice, that so fare made as thow never got
hitched to sum likely feller." IN. B.-She
was up'ards of forty. and homely as stump
fence, but tllawt Id tickle her.
Il don't like msps" she sed, very short.
"Wall, dunno" sez /, "they's rather
important part of the populashun. l don't
scacely see how we Good sit along without
'em.''
"Us poor wimmin folks would get along a
great deal better if there was no men!"
You'll excuse me, marin, but l don't
think that air would work. 1t wouldn't be
regler."
"I'm afraid of men,. !" she sed
"That's unnecessary, marin. You amt
in no danger. Don't fret yourself on that
pint!"
"Herc we are shct out from the sinful
world. Here all is peas. Hero we air
brothers and sisters. We don't marry. and
consequently we have no domestic difficulties.
Husbands don't aboose their wives-wives
don't worrit their husbands. There's no
children here to worrit us-nothin' to worrit
us here. No wicked matrimony here-would
thow like to be shaker?'
NO." seq /, "it amt my stile."
had now histed in as as big load of
provisions as l could carry cumlurtablc, and,
leanin' back in my cheer. commenst pickin'
my teeth with fork. The female went out
lcavin me all alone with the clock. l hadn't
sot there long, before tho elder poked his
head in at the door. "You're man Of sin !"
hc sed, and groancd and went away.
Directly thar cum in two young Shakeres-
cs, as putty and and slick looking gals as ever
met. 1t is troo thcy were dressed in meal
bags like the old one I'd met prcvisly, and thar
shiny silk har was hid from sight by long
white caps, such as sposo female ghosts
wear; but thar eyes sparkled like diminds.
thar CHEEKS war like roses. and they wcrs
charming enuR to make man throw stones
at his grandmother, if they axed him to.
They eommsnst clsarin' away tho dishes,
castin' shy glapcss at me all the time. got
excited. forgot Betsy Jane in my raptsr.
aud srz I, MY pretty dears. how are you9
1--WE air WELL" they solemnly sed.
"Where's tho old mani" sed ], in q soft
voice.
"Of whom dest thou speak-brother Uri-
ahl"
II mean the gay and festive cuss who calls
me man Of sin. Shouldn't wonder If his
name was Uriah."
"He has retired"
.Wall, my pretty dear" seq /, "let's have
smne fun. Let's play puss in the corner.
What say1"
"Air you shaker. sir7' they asked.
"Wail, my pretty dears, haven't arrayed
my proud form in weskit yit, but It thcy
was va all like you, perhaps I'd jins 'cm. As It
is, I'm shaker pr0temp0rary."
V,hav WAS fill Of fun. / seed that at fust
only they was little skesry: tawt 'em
puss in the corner. and such like plase. and
We had nice time, but Of course so the old
man shouldn't hear When we broke up, seq
1."My pretty dsars. car ! 60. you have no
objections. have you. to an innersent kiss at
partin I"
"Yay," they sed, and yoyed.