The spirit of democracy. [volume] (Woodsfield, Ohio) 1844-1994, 1862-05-14
FrorI Vanity Fair.
CABINET MYERS ALTON
=1 s3 rHu9 PIECES. ea- ~
No. s..

SCENE. no DuCehu OF t00 w ar Uo-
partment. The President discovered,
seated astride upon brass "a pound gun,
with his face to the breech. The SEC
RETARY OF WAR is amusing himself by
arranging shells. (Jame's 500 h. conicaI,
and other varieties) in fancy pattern
upon an ormolu table A buhl cage,
occupied by grey PARROT, stands upon
a scrolled shelf between the windows.
Soft music from remote barrel-organ
arrives punctually upon the ftful breeze.
PREsIDENT.-eh? 'Tis an interesting
study, Edwin, though my own experience
Of it has been drawn from oysters rather
than from holsters. Excuse my little
play; all work is bad doctor, you know.
SEC OF WAR No apology, sir-none
is needed. The ever.pointed p9A like
the ever-pointed pen, may be made We
hicle for intense thought Remember
what the great Napoleon said: says he
II care not who makes nations laws,
provided that to me is accorded the priv
ilege of making its pins
PRESIDENT AS Secretary of War of
this great Republic, Mr.. Stanton, it would
have been smarter, as we'll as more be-
coming of you to have paraphrased the
saying of the renowned Corporal thus
II care not who breaks Rebellion's nose,
provided ! get q chance of spikirg its
guns: not q cuss." 7A
PARROT, OF cuss e4-
Sec OF WAR Dry up, naughty Poll!
Pray excuse the bird, sir; like others for,
teigners. he picks up the bad words first
PREsIDENT.--You are very polite. sir,
but the word was mine; and if ever you
noticed it, sir, there is smack of West
ern vigor in it that you wouldn't get if
you splelt it with an r. I have reason to
be dissatisfied with you, Of late, Mr.
Stanton. 'sa es sss sA.ea vs1ss.A
Sec OF WAR.--What's up now? Ally
thing broke?
PRESIDENT If one of the three in.
dividuals present was broke, sir, guess
the nation might be q gamer by the trans
action. l do not, hereby, refer to my.
self; neither have my words the remotest
application to honest Poll in bis cage,
yonder." 80
SEC. OF WAR--O it's the Secretary
of the Navy you mean? l fully agree
with you, sir; l have long looked upon
Mr.. Welles as the megatherium incubus
of the Public Departments, and the bu-
reau over which he potters as the pande'
monium of an
| PARRoT--Old fool! old fogyi old
muff Pretty Poll good bird all hands
to the pumpsl--que-e eech
PRESIDENT Quaint bird Who 50
bold as to draw the line betgeen instinct
and reason, when a parrot can express
himself tbus? But / could not have re
ferred to the Secretary of the Navy, sir
as said one of the three individua's pres.
lent; my censure is on the full simmer for
you. FsS"s t'F' 20. "i@ g
SEC, OF WAR.--Pennsylvania is my
dwelling place, Il 90saasi u - :
| PRESIDENT If you were about to add
Heaven is my expectation" sir, you are
doomed to disappointment, for Tam going
to give you. Mr.. Stanton. and we canno
afford to ignore The uphowlings of {
mighty people. og'e4 'is fsvs
4 SEQ. OF WAR--Who cares for tn,
lravings of the multitude 2 I wouldn'
step off the sidewalk for all the yells 0
the voc popuH.
! PARROT Pop you lie | Pop you lie
Giddy Welles is sailieur boy only ninet.
years old l--que-ee-eech. -
] PREs1DENr--Supposiug that I hat
never seen your parrot. Mr.. Stanton,
think / could tell by his voice that he j
: not green one. His grey plumage be
comes his wisdom. well But as l wa
saying sir, have reason to be dissatis
, fed with you; your ideas upon genera
: subjects or to be more explicit, on th
subject of Generals, appear to be base
upon chaos, and very poor kind {
. [cnaos at that. .sss sp
SEC OF WAR-And yet order is N
strong point See my orders general,
|, Observe my arrangements of these she'll
n PRESIDENT You may be strong upo
f small details, sir; perhaps you .are,2 an
: so is my girgerbreadscolored valley. b
t as for generaiizing, l could generalize th
G shirt off your back any day, and Bi
Seward says SO, too
SEC. OF WAR.-Don't I generaliz
thoug ghl Didn't set up General Grant q
2 a pedestal as high as the old gas-chimpe
! of Babel, when I told Greeley that
. I"conquered by the spirit of the Lord!
!. Maybe / didn't make golden calf of hi
,fI then
II President Maybe you didn't NAL
= wooden one of Ed Stanton. You eau
. 1come it over this two yards and a
/. leighth of Western stuff with your golde
!. |calf-no sirl Nor do I see on wh.
i grounds you should have qualified you
4 statement that Grant ''conqhered by Il
!. Spirit of the Lord" by adding "and b
:; moving immediately upon the enemy
# works!"
! te' PARROT. r.--Enemies works! Helm hal
d port, there's sqaall comingl -que e.
e 1eecbi sa -