The Cadiz Democratic sentinel. [volume] (Cadiz, Ohio) 1854-1864, 1862-07-02
TERMS,--$1.5O'
HUMOROUS.

1T is beauty's privilege to kill time and
times privilege to kill beauty. .ra 5l afsi
Every Cook should circumnsvigsts the
world of kitchen literature.
III man thinks he belongs to superior
caste, rrobably the caste is In his eye. geo
The miser is a wretch who starves him.
self in one world to be damned in another.
If your friend goes into q speculation,
don't, because be happened to break, break
Nth him.
"A boot jack, like sore finger, has to bs
heeled. -r=ss .s..' 7-l----
Troubles are like babies; they grow big.
ger by nursing. --i .:Gls .r;.s .sFE p
Northern. magr animity. Although the
South has discontinued all our periodicals, we
continue 10 take their magazines. Ig-gsl
When poor fellow is about to be burn
ed by the Savages, his very existence is at
stake. -........ 10,
Can fellow who has been fined by the
magistrates again, be considered q refined
man. .-.H. .....F ar .-tr-T
Why has a clock bashful appearances
Because it always keeps its hands before its
face.
! Why is dog with broken leg like
boy at arithmetic? Because he puts down
three and carries one.
Can knocking man down with a loaf
Of bread strictly be called shifting him with
the "staff of life?" .o. b.. .t'. .,......j,g
The following quotation is suggested 10
debating societies: (Which is the happiest---
negro at dance or hog in a mud hole?"
koIo L.,
as men with diamonds write upon glass;
obscuring light with scratches. .,,
Some women paint their faces, and then
weep because it doesn't make them beautiful.
They raise hue-aud cry. .r,t> e..
The wine of life goes, in adversely, into
vinegar; and friends, that hugged the bottle,
shirk the crust. ".-st ?. .r.afst-.
"A widow, whose lands supply rich graz
ing for thousand cattle, is an attractive
grass widow. .-.
"A man complained to his physician that
he stuffed him so much with drugs that he
was sick a long time after he was well.
We see that some OF the telegraph lines
are getting up competition in prices. II
they undertake to make the lightning work
too cheap, it may strike. a.,m,.l.4 -..,f7
"Where are you going?" asked little boy
Of another who had just then slipped and
falling d down on an icy pavement. "Going to
get up" was the blunt reply.
--"Dost thou clean my furniture, fair
hand maiden?' asked Broadbrm of his pref
ty servant who was polishing his escritoire.
II dust" replied the maiden. u ssa..
-"Havn't you finished scaling that fish
yet Sam?" said fiShmonger to his boy.
mo, master, it's very large one" "Why,
you have had time to scale q mountain"
-"I repeat" said person Of questions
BILE veracity, "that am an honest man,
"Yes." was the reply, "and how often will
you have to repeat it before you believe it
yourself? .f f..4-.rf O.,
-"The man who has raised cabbage
head has done more good than all the meta
physics in tn. world, said stump orator
at meeting. "Then," replied wag "your
mother ought to have had the premium"
An old bachelor having been laughed at
by party of pretty girls said to them
"You are small potatoes!" We may be "snsll
potatoes" said one Of them, "but we are
si0eet ones!'' r. ~ aHf
Two passengers were conversing in q
railway car about music. One gentleman
asked the other who appeared rather simple.
"Do you know the Barber Of SevleT' "No"
the latter replied, II always shave myself"
Somebody who writes more truthfully
than POLITICALLY says: San angel now-a days,
without money, fs not thought so much Of
as devil with a bag full Of guineas."
| An old lady complaining OF the bad
quality of ham to the provision dealer, the
latter assured her it was regular Westpha-
liza. "That it Is, indeed" exclaimed the
dame, 'and the soorst failure ever had!''
An Illinois editor sent to another who
had refused TO exchange with him paper
bearing the inscription. Exchange or go to
hip The editor thus addressed replied:
II will do neither; for don't want your pa
per in this world, nor your company in the
next" ....
Jones had been out 10 champagne
party, and returned home at late hour. He
had hardly got into the house when the clock
struck four. observation-disclosures! hic-
cupped Jones. II say, Mrs. Jones, this clock
is out Of order, it has struck one four times"
--"Get out Of the way, boy--get out OF
the way" said gentleman on horseback TO
a boy in the road; my horse don't like don.
keys" "Don't he?" said the boy, "then why
don't he kick you cff?' bf4 -ea1
-"Captain are you going to run your
steamer in this fog"' a timid passenger asked
OF one Of the sound shippers. "No. SIR"
was the reply, 1--WE might as we'll try to drive
a toad through brrrel Of tar
Jake" said an old farmer to one OF his
mowers, Pdo you know how many horns
there are in dlemmar' "No," replied Jake,
"but know how many horns there are in
quart Of whisky" Jsaqt
--"She struck me very much at first"
said the witty daughter Of a celebrated nov
elist, to lisping swell. "Did she, indeed?"
said the dandy; 'that was very rude OF here'
at is a rudeness OF which you are not gull
ty." was the ready reply.
--"What do they mean by cat and dog
lfe?" said a husband to his angry wib.--
Look at Carlo and Kitty asleep on the rug
toge ther. | wish men lived halt so peaceably
with their wives "Stop," said the lady:
"tie them together and then sec how they
will agree"
Mrs. Partington read a criticism, the
other day,in which writer was charged with
"neglecting the antecdent." "That's just
like some stuckup storycrats that know"
said the old lady, "they always neglect their
aunts, and other relations, too, II they happen
to be poor" fageeg
| Rev Thomas Whitmore tells story OF
his having attended church to bear an emi.
nent divine, and the subject for the morning
discourse--"Ye are the children Of the dew
IL" He attended the same church in the sf-
ternoon, when the text was, Children, obey
your parents.
AND THE HuSTEH Blows HIS HoRN.--Tt
is understood that Gsa. Beaursgard, struck
with the brilliaDcy Of Gen. Hunters exam-
pie, IS about to issue proclamaaian setting
free and emancipating "foreveI" from father