The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1862-02-12

1 y
secure the services OF Geo. F. Root, former.
ly Of New York, to conduct musi cal Con.
vention in this place. A meeting having
his object in view was called for Tuesday
night, but going TO press before that hour
we cannot say this week what progress has
been made.
a.. For tie TIMrs.
Dirt.
Perhaps the heading Of this article may
cause portion Of the reading community
to expect that proposal for an excavation
was being advertised, and those who are
engaged in leveling the bluffs that surround
the Pocket City may take it for one, il they
wish, as Broom has found the accumula.
lions Of a certain little turnover to increase
so rapidly that a cart may be necessary to
take it away ere long.
The hardest labor Gopher" performed
last week, was in trying to dispose of a
broom" which he considers "counterfeit"
and for that reason more indigestible.-
From what can learn Of Gopher" he
has recently been less active in his "per-
ambulations," and busted himself upon a
Gas he thinks) learned disquisition of the
use Of brooms; but more particularly q
broom which has swept some of The dirt
that he has brought before the public, away,
exposing his track in such manner that
all will be careful before they SLY or do
anything to see whether Gopher" is
around or not, or has finger in the pi.-
His rcasonings any one can see are very
deep and learned, and from the tone Of his
arguments he is well read parsonage. His
acquaintance with celebrated authors must
be very extensive, for instance, he quotes
"Dick Turpin," "Protean," "Nero," and
several others showing Of course his &C.
quaintance with the gentlemen. He accuses
Broom of numbering his native tongue"
but shows plainly that he is guilty of
mistake, and meant himself, for when he
comes to use little Of his natiue or leu
tonic language he not only murders'it, but
buries it completely from sight
Gopher complains of being robbed
"fortyrfour' times, and says there has been
but"two articles" taken. This shows plainly
that the scales arc falling from "Gopher's'
eyes, and as he begins to see more clearly,
articles are magnified in his vision. He is
great on ineidentnls; hnt nne ,;..,e ina;t,.n.
he has forgotten, and that was his appear
ancc at a serenade last week when to the
great delight Of an appreciatirs audience,
Broom appeared and before Gopher could
take any notes Of the performance swept
him out Of sight. Moral-meddlers are
never very well loved by the public.
l am almost sorry for Gopher this
week, but the way Of transgressors being
hard, he must at some period of his life ex-
pose his weak points. Gopher goes
sleigh riding with 'rig'' got up for the
occasion. One of the team had complaint
that no one but "Gopher" can give the
meaning of; still it did not affect him until
he "gts up" Having employed furious
driver whom he calls "Jchu," he puts on a
load that completely "ovcrshadows" the
team, its size making any sympathetic and
humane" being with spark of kindness
in his heart towards thep poor brutes, "feel' as
though a footman ought to be employed to
"help up hill" From the description
Gopher" gives Of This ovsrshado,oing load,
am inclined to think that he went out
sleigh riding upon a load Of hay. The
young ladies were in great glee at the fig
ure Gopher presented, but he not caring
for his reputation gave the driver the CON-
mand, and "Jehu" talking French to his
"reins" cracked his whip and all went,
merry as a marriage "bell." Gopher
was tickled-felt happy the time had ar
rived when congenial spirits met. He drew
himself in close proximity to his "doxie,"
definition, see Webster unabriged) and as
he pressed her taper fingers in his hand he
knew he was guilty man, for he defends
himself by saying "twas nobody's business
but the owners and then he glanced
around to see if Broom was anywhere near
to notice it. (Ah, "Gopher," thy hairs are
numbered and thy deeds must come to
light DER screen them as thou wilt
There is not "a rose without thorn"
so "Gopher's happiness came to an end as
the sleigh was upset, and himself aud his
doxy found to their sorrow that all
''Aesh is as grass" and those who ..'revel
in luxnries" must pay the penalty. go.
pher' lost his wig and his bald pate was
like lighthouse set upon bleak and des-
olate shore to warm the mariner that break
crs are ahead. The paint which was piled
lavishly upon the cheeks of his partner
came off in the snowbanlS and she came
out with her head SO clear that she can now
smell "Gopher" "who is mechanic" long
before he comes into her presence. $50
pher' has retired TO his subterrancous
abode waiting for "sevcral little Incidents
to turn up before he shows himself again
BROOM.
A CABIN justice to ourselves we
are compelled to give general notice to all
that we cannot hereafter loan crockery fol
any object whatever, as the breaking, chip.
ping, handling, and re-narking on the re.
turn, is little more than people should ex'