The Wyandot pioneer. (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1853-1868, 1862-04-11
A LAWYER AMONG COWS.
BY TIMOTHY BARROW.

Squire VICE, lawyer Who iancles
that what he don't know aint worth pump
kins, and whose home amt a thousand
miles from the Pine-tree State, was a great
tavorite with the late Judge Cranch. Once
visiting the Judge, the latter invited him
to walk over his premises. Among other
places they visited the barn-yard, and the
Squire was struck with admiration as he
gazed upon the noble herd of cows, which
had just been driven up for milking
He talked as elaborately of their different
good ''points" as would first-rate stock
breeder, when the fact was. he knew next
to nothing about stock, and some of the
good points, which he spoke of caused
the judge hearty laugh--in his sleeve.
"Well, Squire, said the Judge, (Which
of the COWS will you take @"
(Which will l take, your honor 90 said
the Squire, not knowing the Judges
meaning,
eyes. which will you take I'm go.
| ing to make you a present Of one of them
which shall it be 90
Really, your honor, this is unexpect-
ed. l will not object to the present, but
would rather your honor, would make the
selection receivers should not be choos-
ers.''
"1f you accept the present you must
make the selection. Being good Judge
of stock, you'll not be very likely to cheat
yourself, and the eccentric judge smiled
to himself.
The Squire dubbed his gold -browed
spectacles, and began to view the cows
with critics precision. After much
scrutinizing, he said:
81 apprehend your honor, you wouldn't
like to part with that very Eat, short horn
ed, thick -necked cow
Il have no choice make your selec.
tion," said the judge. his risibles hardly
comfortable.
" don't want to rob you of your ia.
vorite cow, but if you have no choice
should prefer the very fat one she has
many good points,"
No favorite-no robbery at all--the fat
COW is yours. My servant shall drive hel
to your house before milking.
The delighted Squire fastened home te
inform his wife. In about an hour he
saw the fattest, best pointed cow in the
village, as he styled her, driven into hi
yard, and dispatched sable daughter o
Africa to milk her. In a few minutes i,
came ebony, giggling and laughing
Squire Wick knew something was to pay
and what he couldn't conjure. Their
stood Dinah, Ground up" with laughter
the empty pail dangling by her side.
'sWhat on earth's to pay, Dinah in
quired the Squire.
Oh, massa, for muffin only-ki XII XII /
iii he, he, he-ee-e
The Squire looked at his wife she &
him-then both at Dinah, who had con
h'Pcioh0o "ieh htSl, duO Scttleu OOW
by tho door, her face covered with a
I apron, and her laughing machinery, shall
ing her sides at a tremendous rate.
> The Squire's mad rz.
i ''Dinah," said he, at the top Of h
voice, 'tell me what's to pay, or I'll thro
/ you out of the house."
: Dinah mastered herself long enoug
to say:
y go, Lor, massa, muffin, only dat CO
.e OBJ yourn be--a "gemmen" cow al
le fell into another fit of laughter.
= If you know how a ohop-fallen m;
9r looks, a portrait of Squire Wick's count
- nance would be superfuous. The W;
is that very fat, short-horned, thick-neck
t, cow walked back to the yard of Jud
if Cranch, wasn't slow, and the way t
e. Judge shook his sides, was caution
+ stock critics