Lamoille newsdealer. [volume] (Hyde Park, Vt.) 1860-1877, 1862-02-21
Well-he did it But though he sue

Well--he did it But though he sue
ceeded in giving it the form and SEM
biance of sort of man, and even inves-
ted it with some of the functions of hui
manity. he could never, with all his best
repeated efforts, provide it with any brains
not having perhaps, very great deal
of that article to spare himself as indeed
few men have. .. mts0 .. l
Now if when Jonathan had made this
monster, he had merely showed it around
among his friends as triumph of his in
genuity, (and it was in truth very Gu
rious mechanical contrivanee,) it might
have been well enough but unfortunate
ly. he was so 5ewitched with his invention
that he accorded to it the greatest privi.
leges, eyen bampering his own free-will to
ovcr-gorge its tyranny, for such at last it
really became. a8 4a. ... 80. a
Let US however, state events in their
order At first Jonathan would take every
stranger that came along to look at his
machine. There. !" would esay, "Lis-
ten to that Isn't it wonderful 2" 1t
was indeed. Gracious! How it would talk.
talk, talk ! Presently he became rather
tired of his plaything, and wouldn't have
cared to hear so much of its clack. But
now it stuck to Jonathan like burr, and
at one time toadied him to death, and anon
bullied him to utter despair, till at last
he was thoroughly ashamed, and would
have given all he was worth in the world
to be rid of it. @ sa.. Z
For not particle Of useful labor could
he get to do. Was a great breadth of hay
down in the field-was wagon stuck in
a rut-was there even windmill wanting
for puff--thc machine would suggest a
hundred and fifty ways of getting along,
but would lend him never hand or a
breath to help. ".'
Nor was even what it said sensible.
On the contrary, the machine proved to be
the most inconsequent as well as fatigu.
ing talker. For example, Jonathan would
say:-"My dear machine, pray give me
your serious and undivided attention. l
wish to hear your well-weig he'd opinion or
subject of the greatest possible impor-
tance to mc-the present aspect of the
shorts market" Then would the machine
talk for eighteen hours on stretch upon
deep-sea soundings, branch off next day
on the cultivation of peanuts, touch dur.
ing the third upon root beer, Leverrier' S
planet, snaffle brides, ipecac, Japanese
backing, French rolls, cream candy, the
holy alliance, the best method of curing
hams, and pretty much evrything else you
can think of, and wind up on the fourth
with an inarticulate bur-r-r, like an old
clock preparing to strike the hour--only
it never did anything so useful as to mark
the time of day. Nj rs ..' 5H- d..
But what else could be expected Of a
mere Cong-ny gracious! we mean, con-
trivance- without brains? 10 say it all
in brief in consequence of this deficiency,
its talk was, except by rare accident, the
veriest gable that ever was heard, being
something between the uproar of skim.
merton and the gossip Of party Of di.
lapidated grandmothers. - l''.-''' d '.-
What would Jonathan not have don,
to be free from this everlasting nuisance
Alack it was to late to attempt escape
because forsooth, IN the FIR st flush Of hi,
infatuation he had comrlitted the irretriv
able blunder of intru sting to the talking
machine the control Of his purse. Now
with the perversity of all monsters an,
mindless creatures, it would sometimes t.
no purpose at all "a rev his path witt
gold as if for the I,ure pleasure of waste
and then, when a, freshet came, or q fir
orsome dire accident happened to- Jona
than's property, it would not shell out
coppe5l even to guard against recurenc
Of the MISFORTUNE In fact. the machin
facted WITH the purse for all the world lik
a baby. olinching its little fist tight.
over the money when wanted, and flinginI
it about at other times With the wildes
tprofusion. l0'''A'4 = - 'NOiI Ar@dsla 4
-soo0 ,,,r,a ,.;., h.nL = s,IogI 90, 70 Il