, 1862-10-23

MI esan female approaches the pOsl-oltice win
dow. She Is short and angular, with hatchet-
shaped face aud hatchet.ehged voice.
"Whyrr's mr rtIhrry" is her abrupt ques
tinn.
"Wh,t lett,rP" asked the clerk.
"Niyer mind NOW | want the three cents
"What three centST'
"Tne three cents gave ye to send letther
to New Ynrrick."
"WiIat d. you want three cents for then 7"
"Because the letIhrr never Wint"
+" And how do you know il never wentr'
BrcRuse when the sister answered it, she
:, d she niveT got It.
!" How could she answer II if she never got
it,"
"Arrah, hold your head Win ye gev ne
three cints or wont yer
"NO ma'am; you must be crazy to ask it,"
I" Is II the cIaZyy
"Ccrtainly, crazy as a bedbug."
"Bad luck to ye, aud is il the likes Of ye that
dare call me a brdbugy Is there any other
way O. gettin' at ye except through this little
windy 7" asked the now furious woman.
"No INA am, no other way"
Faith, its lucky for We thin. Av there was.
I'd come and welt We like an ould shoe. Nlver
mind" continued the lady as she went away,
4" III tell me husband night and he'll dot the
two eyes Vi ye, so he wl.'
Last winter an Irishman, recently landed on
our shorrs applied to q merchant 10 Boston for
work. Willing to do him kindness, the latter
handed him a shovel, and pointing to the back
Of his store, told him to "shOvel OH the side
walk" The merchant forgot all about the Irish
man. until the lapse Of an hour or two, when
Teddy burst into the counting room (Which was
up stairs) and inquired:
"Mayhap yees I'D be havin' pick, sir ~
IA pick to get the snow otfs'' said the mer'
chant, smiling.
"ihe snow 'dd be aft long since" replied
Teddy, "an' the bricks, too, for that mather, but
il is toe sile tSoiD that shticksl'
IN Some alarm, the merchant ran to his back
window, and sure enough, the fellow had thrown
nearly all the pavement into the street, and made
quite hole.
"GOOd gracious, man only wanted you to
"Arrah, SIR" said Teddy. didn't yer honor
tell we to shovel of the sidewalk"
A Scotch cattle dealer, at Clones fair, was
asked BY q countryman to do him favor. "YOu
see that woman" said he, ION the sidewalk
Well, I've offered her five 'und ten for her COW,
but she won't sell. Now if you, q stranger,
should offer her five pound fifteen, she would
sell. but would not sell TO me for that. Will you
be kind enough to take this hall.crown and bind
tie bargain with It; and will then pay the
money and take the cow" The gOOd-natured
cattle dealer effected the purchase as requested,
and then turned 10 find the countryman but
the latter was gons. He was forced to take the
COW himself aud pay for her, though she was not
worth half the money he had thus bid to Oblige
the missing countryman. 1t was afterward as
certained that the woman was the countryman's g
wife, and they had thus managed to sell their
COW to good advantage.
A lover, vainly trying to explain some scieht.
&c theory to his fair inamOrata, said: The
question Is difficult, and don't see what can do
70 make Il clear"
Suppose you pop it." whispered tho blush.
ing damsel.
Il Is related Of the French family Of the Duke
de Lewis that they have picture in their cha
trau in which Noah Is represented going into the
ark, and carrying under his arm small trunk,
on whicn Is written, Papers belonging to the
Lewis hmily."
Some men are oovetous as IL they were TO live
forever; and others IS profIse as u they were
10 die the noxl moment