The Council Bluffs nonpareil. [volume] (Council Bluffs [Iowa]) 1857-1867, 1862-05-24

From the New York sunday Mcrcury.

ENVM- THE CArrrU1 -
From the New York Sunday Mercury.
/ From the letter Of our unsurpassed cor
respondent, it will be seen that the Orang
County Ho sitzers, attached to the Macker,
81 Brigade, have reduced . rebel, and sire
constructed" him. The battle Was conduct
ed on strictly Constitutional principles, ant
is said to have given great satisfaction Il
the Democratic party:
| FROM WASHINGTON.
| EDITOR T. THE stirring times ar,
come again, the maddest Of the year, and
am beginning to believe, my boy, that wha
is to DO will be, as what has been has
Though still without my gothic charger Pc
gassus, that symmetrical charger having
been borrowed for writing desk, by a
Secretary of the Fronterior, am enabled
to keep up Communication with the Mack.
erel corpse dan,mee down the river, and ter
thousand Star Spangled Barners fash thro
my veins 40 relate tho recent great artil.
lery expedition Of the Orange County low.
itzers.
1t seems, my boy, that an intellectual
member of the Mackerel Brigade got tired
Of investing Yorktown, and wandered away
in pursuit of adventure. As he peregrina.
ted in the neighborhood of rebel domi-
Gil, he behcld what he took for the bird oi
our country, stalking out of the barn yard,
and was taking measures to con6scate j,
when the proprietor made his appearance,
and says he:
"Hessian, spare that goose!''
The Mackerel chap gave tragic start,
and says he:
s'Tis the eagle would rescue, Horatio
the bird celebrated by my brother, the Con-
gresham, in all his speeches."
| SWELL" says the foul traitor, ssit is nm
doubtedly what the Congressman takes for
an Eagle. as am aware that Congressman
generally treat the American Eagle as if it
we're goose; but as that gander happens
| to belong to one of the very First Families
of Virginia, and cost me four shilliDgs, it
becomes my painful duty to resist your ha-
beus corpus act" And with that he drove
the beautiful bird into the barnyard, and
locked the gate. ~
Fired to fury by this insult from one of
those whom our army had come to protect,
the Mackerel chap went Immediately back
to quarters, and appealed to his comrades
for vengeance.
That gifted officer, Samyule Sa-mith,
heard his burning words, and says he, ssthe
cannon of the Union shall speak in this
matter. Let the Orange County Howitzers
get ready for action, and | will lead them
against the Phlistines. a
Instantly arose the note of the dreadful
preparation; the guns were mobilized, six
English gentlemen in the hosier- business
were invited to vi " the coming battle, aud
just as the moon rose above the trees, the
artillery started for the rebel stronghold.
Arriving before the offending house, the
howitzers were placed in line, and all got
ready for the bombardment. 1t was Just
possible, my boy, that two men might have
marched into that house and captured the
misguided Confederacy without slaughter.
You may be unable to see what use there
was in bringing artillery, and forming in
line of battle; but you are very ignorant,
my boy; you know nothing about strategy
and war.
"Soldiers,'' says Samyule, "remember
that the eyes of the whole world are upon
you at this moment, and endeavor to hit
the house as often as possible. We will
FIRE one round without bali" SAYS Samyule
"to see if the powder is frst-class.''
Now it chanced that while the loading
up was going on, the gallant Lieutenant
Lemmons got his legs wonderfully entan-
gied in the lanyard of his piece, and kept
turning the howitzer around in manner
strongly expressive Of nervous agitation.-
Suddenly he stepped across to where Sam
yule was standing, and whispered in his
ear.
go, l see," says Samyule, kindly, s'you
were educated at West Point, which end of
the cannon ought to be pointed at the en-
emy? WE'LL" says Samyule, instructively,
"you'd better point the end with the hole
in it," &aa
Everything being in readiness, my boy,
the combined battery launched its thunders
on the air, creating a great sensation in the
neighboring hen-roosts, and causing a large
rooster to fall from branch in the midst
of his refreshing slumber. ~
ssNow. that the powder has sustained its
reputation" says Samyule, impressively,
s'let the two inch balls be hurled at the en-
emie's works."
As the house was full ten yards of, this
second discharge failed to hit it; but it
brought the Southern Confederacy to the
window in bis night-cap, and says he:
ssThere's s no use of my trying to sleep,
if you chaps keep making such noise down
there.' braa "a a
"Unhappy man, says Samyule, solemn
", /" we come here to reduce you, and will
listen to nothing but unconditional surren-
der.''
The Confederacy gaped, and says he:-
ssI'm very sleepy, and can't talk to you now;
and I'll call over in the morning." And be
shut the window aud went back to bed. A
frown was observed to steal over the face
of Samyule. He has peculiar counte-
nance, my boy, and frown affects il
strangely. Take his mouth and mustache
together, and they remind you of mouse
summing himself on the edge of his hole |;
and when the fr0wn comes on, the mouse
acts as though he had stomache.
"Comrades." says Samyule, !" the. enemy
requires another round, and we must do it
on the square. Fire!"
Like four and twenty thunder storms the
howitzers roared together, and had not the
Orange county veterans forgotten to put in
any balls, there is reason to believe that
some windows would have been broken
Another discharge, however, was more sue
cessfuI, as it knocked the top of the Chin
ney.
The Southern Confederacy appeared at
the window again, and says he:
elf you fellows don't quit that racket,
down there, you'll irrtate me pretty soop."
This significant remark caused a sudden
ces sation of the bombardment, and Sam
yule hastily called council Of war.
{" Gentlemen" says Samyule, "a new
| ;,sue has arisen. II We irritare the South.
| ern Confederacy, all hopes for future Union
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