Democrat and sentinel. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1853-1866, 1862-01-15
All About Beauty.

Brother Barker through his deputies, last
week, made 4 fierce assault on our personal
appearance. and Informed ali the world and
and the rest of mankind. and woman kind.
Cor rather, kind woman) too, that we amt
good looking. Now, It was cruel in Barker
and his Deputies. to touch Us in this very
SCI tive and tender point. But their course
Is easily accounted for. TEey had doubtless
perceived with grief AMI envy, that we
were becoming remarkably popular with
the ladies, and likely to be the clicf guest at
all the small tea parties. which might oc~
cur in this neighborhood during Ure next
year at least. They, therefore, determined
On endeavOring to prevent Us from hence
forth basking in the smiles from partial
beauty won, by telling the world. that we
do not belong to that fortunate class Of in
dividuais known rs handsome men. Envy.
gentlemen. nothing but malicious envy
But notwithstanding the ferceness of your
assault, we don't think YOU have vet suc>
cccded il accomplishing your undertaking.
| At least our sweetheart. after reading the
article referred to, in the last AHcJLaajgR.
asked Us. while her face flushed wi indig>
I nation. if we didn't regard old Barker as
| Anal Christ. That she said .was her
! opinion Since then, she appears to be-
/ If possible, more dcvoteGly attached to Us
than in days of yore, and we shouldu':
mind popping the question. one Of these
r.
! Deputies have not the deciding of this mat
ter We have important testimony to offer
/ in our defence. Didn't brother Traugh Of
the Hollidayshurg Standard few weeks
| ago. assert that we were the handsomest
( editor in Cambria County. and didn't our
! beloved brethern Of the Huntingdon Globe.
| alfectiona tely stvle us the - Ebonshurg beau
ty" Yea, verify, did they. Certainly the
weight of evidence is in our favor But
enough on this point for the present.
We will not treat Brother Barker in this
matter as he and his Deputies treated US
We cheerfully confess that heis the hands
| soonest and most accomplished gentleman
we have ever met. Take him " from the
crown of his head to the so!es of his feet, -
/ he's chief among ten thousand. and the one
altogether lovely. His person is rs grace
ful as ? Buffalo Bull. aud his movements
J as easy and fascinating as those Of a Darcing
! Bea~. His eyes are as soft and tender when
! he smiles as those Of Sheep, while his nose.
| the handsomest feature of his face. is form-
ed on the self sharpner principle and is
always, apparently engaged in the laudable
occupation of taking inrisjJle snuff. CNo
| allusion here, to the text of Scripture which
| speaks OF the Asses snuffing up the East
! wind.) His teeth are the very best that
! could be manufactured by fist class den
| tist. and his voice IS soft, geutIe and low :
occupying as it does happy medium be
tween the braying of an ASS. add the whist
| ling of steam engine. The general ex-
| preston of his countenarce is as kind AID
benevolent as that of Hyena while howl
ing and scratching over a grave. Tie
! Deputy editors. in obedience to orders rs-
ceived, sketched our picture last week.
We now in return. beg leave to present to
them a correct likeness of their Ignorant
and egotistical old master. 1t is roughly
sketched. but true % life. and we hope it
viii please them fit docs not the fault is
not ours.