The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1862-07-18


try TO get at tIf5t the multiplieashun table is
just as good document as | want. Take that
and ny slate, and ken tgor it up in a mint.
You see, there is 500, 100000 at one slap.
Your books may show what you have paid but
you sec, EIr. Secketary, you are running this
war on credit, and because you amt paid all
yo.ir debts, that is no sign that you won't have
to.--Besides,' ses |, 'Mr. Seckatary, you have
made, you know, some Observation-Disclosures, and
mobby yon may make more In your fust re-
port in July, 1861, Eve ben rcadin it keerfully,
and I've got it marked down on the slate he's
Iyot sed the expenses for 1862 would be S3lS,-
100000, but in December, you sed they would
be S543,0o0,000. Now, here is mistake Of
over 5000, 600, 900 You sed in July, the tar
if Sould yield S57,000,00o In. December,
you.could not calculate on over $32, 100000.
You estcmated the receipts from land sales in
july at s., GOO, ,000.-You cut it down in De-
ceInber to S2,300,000, and now Congress, by
passing The Homestead bill, will white it all
oif--Here you see are some great mistakes, but
there are some on the other side Of the account.
There are some items Of expenses, too, which
you have omitted There's the $50, ,000,-
600 recently passed to settle up Campron's ac-
counts. Then there is 81 900, 900 Of outstan-
din debt Then there was Sl0,000,000 extra
given to the navy for iron clad boats. Then
there is 800 bounty to each soldier, which, by
the time the war is over, viii amount to 81 ,000,-
100000 any how Then there is $i,000,000
given to buy the niggcrs in this District. Let
us see how much that makes. I'll add il up
$250,000,000 which added to the S700,000,-
900, makes $3.50, 900 as the present debt
Uncl5 Sam has on his sholders, You might
justss we'll call it THOUSAND AiqA4oN OF
DoLEARs and be done with it."
Wen got through tho Scckatary looked a.
mazin red in the face, and ses he, 'Majer, the
truth is, where there is so many people spendin
money it's nifty hard to keep track of all the
iten,s.s WAL ses there amt only one more
mint an which | want TO show you you have
madeia mistake. In December last you cakc-
lated that the warexpences for S63 would be
s;;i7tlD00, ,000 but the House has already passed
billssA u III ;llnE aInonpsing to T52g, ,Q9bs 900.
4IIa&fbu thoiizTHT, WIT Fls'lE tit7
war wold be ended by July, but here ii it about
that time, and we only seem to be jest fairly
'retting into the shank. or the fight
eWal, TO tell the truth, Meier, this war has
disappointed the hull OF us, butt think havnt
been so foolish as Seward never sed it would
end n sixty days
That's So ses |, .but you see there's noihin
like telin the truth rite out, and its allus very
bad to deceive tho people on money matters
You may love the niggeis, Mr.. Seckatary, as
much as you want ts, but don't try to pull tie
,cool over white folks eyes, or let other peepel
do II. for it will break down the administration
as sure as my name is Majer Jack Downing
sWal.' ses he, 'Maer, that's so, and when |
send in my next report Pm goin to jest speak
rite out. Eve tried to do my best to keep down
expenses. but can't and when | get another
chance I'm gon to put the blame where it be-
longs
Ses I, that's right, Mr. Seckatary. Don't
LEFT tbe raskils git clear without bein exposed.
But cf YOU undertake to cover up their tracks
Won will come out Jest rs old Squire Bldde did
in that United States Bank matter.
then bid the Seekatary good mornln and
started back to the White House. lie was
very perlite to me, and sed he hoped the Pres
ident and me would look at the subjeck tavera-
blv. telled him that the Kernel would only
keen a sharp look ont on the plunderers and
stealcrs would be his friend till deth. lie sed
he would, and we shook hands and parted
Wen got back Li,kin sot in a cheer asleep,
with his feet upon table. Civ the table Il
ran with nv hickory, and the Kernel straitened
mn lest like openin jack nite, and ses he, was
asleep. Maier9 Yes, jest as sohd rs saw
loo. What on arlll makes you Sleep ses |,
rite in the middle of the day" WAL sos he,
sNIaier. the truth is, was readin the National
L0teiggepcerp Sure enuif,' ses l, that's worse
than opium.' But ses he, what about the
fnances2 Then ! showed him the slate, and
how had iirercd up the debt, and told him all
I scd to Mr.. Chase. l never see man SO flus-
trated as Linkin was. WAL scs he, 'Malcr, ei
was only back to Ilinoy safe and sound, you
won't never ketch me runnin for President a.
Gin. | had no idee that the debt was anything
ike this. But eff the music has to be faced, III
face it, There's one thing, NIajer, that we've
rot tho advantage OF any other adminstrsshin
in. We can say that this debt was a military
necessity! That cuts of debate, WAL scs |,
1Zernc, perhaps the people will be satisfied
with that,-and perhaps they won't, Any how,
that won't make it any easier to pay the taxls''
WAL, ses Linlin, well leave that subeck to
posterity' Ses I, is that fair, Kernel, to bur-
den posterity in that iashunF WAL scs he,
what's posterity ever done for us!'
The Kernel then took down the tigers off
my slate in his book, an sed he would keep
em for his mex message.
Then Linkin ses he, 'Majer, you've work.
cd like o. mailer on these tigers, an its an aw-
full dry and tough subjeck. SO | think you
better have some old rye to sort of top off
WITH Then he called the feller in purtys bad
clothes, who does arrands, an tclled HIM to
bring out the black bottle Now, Maicr,' scs
the Kernel, take good swig. II will'be heal
thy for your rumatiz. AS for me, I'll Just take
little for company sake. don't drink my
SELF you know, Maier, but like to have a lit
tie old rye arouu, I'm allus tell the old woman
ef there's eny of it niissin not to ask eny quest
shins, After we got dun drinkin, ses l Ker-