Lewistown gazette. [volume] (Lewistown, Pa.) 1843-1944, 1862-09-24
WEDNESDAY,, SEPTEMBER az, 1862.
to threw aacouple of pie plates 8 t as, aud

to threw alcoaple of pie plates 6 t us, and
then says he:
Are you aceursed Abolitionists? p
The Kentucky conservative chap step-
/ ped hastily forward, and says he:
No, my dear sir, we're the conservative
elements
The chiyalry's venerable wife, who was
female Southern Gonfederacy. leaned
back little in her chair, so that her lit.
tie son could see to throw teacup at me /.
and says she
You amt Tribune reporters-be you p
We were all noes and no ayes. Quite
a feature was that in social intercourse. NV
boy.
The aged chivalry caused three fresh
chairs to be placed at the table, and having
failed to discharge the fowling piece which
he had pointed at Captain Bob Shorty, bv
reason OF dampness' in the cap, he waved
US to seats, and says he:
Sit down poor hirelings of gorilla
despot and learn what it is to taste the
hospitality of Southern gentleman. You
are Lincoln hordes, says the chivalry,
shaking his white locks, have come to
butcher the Southern Confederaey but
the Southern gentleman knows how to be
courteous, even to vandal foe.'
Here the chivalry switched out cane
which he concealed behind him, and made
a blow at Captain Bob Shorty.
See here, says Bob, Indignantly, 'I'll
Hush ! says the conservative Kentucky
chap, agitatedly, don't irritate the old
patriarch, or the future amicable reconstruc-
ton of the Union will be out of the cues
tion. He is naturally little provoked
just now,' says the Kentucky chap, sooth-
ingly, but We must show him that we are
his friends
We all sat down in peace at the hospi-
table board, my boy, only few sweet po-
tatoes and corn-cobs being thrown by the
children, and found the fare to be in keep
ing with the situation Of our distracted
eountry--I may say, warfare.
In consequence of the blockade of the
Washington Ape, says the chivalry, pleas
antly, we only have one course, you see;
but even these last years sweet potatoes
must be luxuries to mercenary mudsills
accustomed to husks'
had just reached out my plate, to be
helped my boy, when there came great
noise from the Mackcrels in the front door
yard.
What's that 2 says Bob Shorty.
O, nothing says the female Confeder-
acy, taking another bite Of hoecake, I've
only told one of the servants to throw some
hot water en- your reptile hirelings'
As Captain Bob Shorty turned to thank
her for her explanations, and while his plate
was extended to be helped, the aged chiv-
airy fired pistol atshim across the table,
the ball just grazing his head and entering
the wall behind him.
By all that's blue 7 says Captain Bob
Shorty exeitedly, now I'll be
BE calm, now: be calm, says the con-
servative Kentucky chap, hastily, don't
| tell you that it is only natural for the
good old soul to be little provoked! If
you go to irritate him we can never live
together as brethren again
Matters being thus rendered pleasant,
my boy, we quickly finished the simple
meal, and as Captain Bob Shorty warded
off the carving knife just thrown at him by
the chivalry's little son, he turned to the
female Confederacy and says he: -
Many thanks for your kind hospitality,
and how about that straw bed p
The Virginia matron threw the vinegar
cruet at him, says she: ss
My servants have already given one to
your scorpions, you nasty Yankee
'Of course, says the venerable chivalry,
just missing blow at me with bowie
knife, 'of course your government will pay
me for my property
Pay youi' says Captain Bob Shorty,
hotly now I'll be-
Certainly it will, my friend, broke in
the conservative Kentucky chap, eagerly,
the Union troops came here as your friends
and they make war on none but traitors
AS we left the domicil, my boy, brush
ing from our coats the slops that had just
been thrown at US from an upper window,
| saw the chivalryIs children training
fowling piece from the roof and hosting
the flag of the Southern Cpnfederacy on
one of the chimneys. @
And it viii be possible to regain the
love of these noble people again, my boy,
if we treat. them constitutionally? We
shall see, my boy-we shall see.
sfse ssss,e pusIdb;s+ Tar,,Io