The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1862-05-16
SALMAGUNDI.

eE Christian life consists in faith and chari-
ty.
sE Second thoughts are the adopted children
of experience.
ezr Every one praises the rose while it gives
pleasant odor. k-.&
CT Little minds like nothing but what resem-
bles themselves.
erTo be proud of ones learning is the great
est ignorance. @
eS Beware of little expenses; small leak
will sink great ship. se
CT Riches neither give understanding to the
mind, nor elegance to the person.
eS We know man SO habitually sleepy that
his curiosity cannot be awakened. l
eg Account him thy real friend who desires
thy good, rather than thy good will
Ct Some writer says marriage is like eating
an onion-you she'd tears and eat again.
eF A Christian had better go to any place
of amusement than to go home, whining because
nc can't GO.
a- A rascally bachelor says, s:The friend
ship of two women is always plot against
third"
ey WHAr viii be the final signal for gamb-
Ter to give up his tricksl The sound of the last
trump! -
eFSoft soap, in some shape pleases all; and,
generally speaking, the more he you put into it
the better.
g What kind of fever have those who
wish to have their names in print !-Type-us,
0yphus. .a aa IS 3o
eyA CoRKoNIAN, on being asked at break
fast how he came by .'that black eye" said be
slept on his fist
ey Why is man paying his note of hand
like father going to see his children Because
he meets his responsibilities. ss
CT Woman--the morning star of our youth;
the day star of our manhood; the evening star
of our age. Heaven bless our stars!
e5-A schoomaster requesting little boywho
had been whispering, to step into the next room,
is wittily spoken of as "starting ON whaling
expedition" IL
Why did the rebels fire on one side Of E.
lizabeth City2 sist M gia
They wanted to show what they could do in
the burn side way.
az During an examination medical student
being asked ..when does modification ensue q
he replied, ..'when you pop the question, and are
answered, NO" ,,.,...ago,s AZ
e. A gentleman who had scolding wife,
in answer to an inquiry after her health, said
she was pretty well, only subject, at times, to a
'sbreaking out in the MOUTH eetaH DIE
rs The Boston Post says theologians, pulpit
nol;t;c;,pc ora d,Iad az IN ,.,I,afbov Ham,
ry Ward Beecher is better judge of fast hor-
ses than of the art of playing billiards.
esThe press gangs the Southern States are
called shoulder tappers." When man in the
streets is tapped on the shoulder it means that
he must repair Immediately to the nearest camp
e< Never seek to be intrustod with your
friends secret, for no matter how faithfully you
may keep it, you will be liable in athousand con-
tingencies to the suspicion Of having betrayed
it.. tsr asf alaes9i
CT UMBRELLAS have been recognized as prop.
orty at last, and are to be taxed for the benefit
of the Government, five cents each. On bor-
rowed or stolen umbrellas, the tax is to be ten
cents. 4a.rs .s e.hlgJU {tU3 iCH9Ee
G. The Boston Post thinks that while paper
is so exceedingly scarce in the. South it can't
see why the Confederate authorities are peimit-
ted to waste it by printing Confederate notes
upon it, I-e3.f .ol0as3fS
ry-The word ''Hurrah" originated among
the Oriental nations as a war cry, from the be-
lief that n man who died in battle for his
country went to heaven. 1t is derived from tho
Scavonic sHurraj," which means "To Para
disc" yY Il
ey-T1r FOR rAr.--"Wl you give mo that
ring?" said village dandy to lady; ''for it
resembles my love for you: it has no end" Ex-
cuse me- SIR was the reply, 81 choose to keep
it, as being emblematic Of mine for you: it has
no beginning" l3es
es- ScEEE--a stout gentleman and his wife
gazing at their children a pair Of twins, who
are encircled in each others arms in the cradle.
DFfe--Do look at them, husband B amt they
precious pair Of lambs2 HusbGnd-E they arc
lambs, wife, what am l?
ar Beauregard calls the recent battle s'Shi-
loh" We presume that his Secretary of State,
Judah P. benjamin., will abdicate now, for
the prophecy of the patriarch Jacob was that
''the sceptre shall not depart from judah until
Shiloh come."-Loais,ille Journal s
say-AN apprentice boy who had been tnisbeha-
wing one day came in for chastisement, during
which his master exclaimed: s1 s.,-t gf
''How long will you serve the devil E
The boy replied:
tsYou know best, sir; Ibelieve my indcntures
will be out in three months" so3s 9
esy~ The Milwaukee Ne,cs truly says: The
people of the United States have suffered more
from robbery by public officers since the he>
publican party came into power, than during
the whole previous existence OF the eovern'
ment from Washington down to Buchanan.