The south-western. [volume] (Shreveport, La.) 1852-1870, 1862-06-18


Az ODD FrsH.-A contemporary gives the fol
owing extract from i letter dated at Saltillo,
containing a description of a chap residing in
those "djggins.h
aEear 4 pretty village called Seguin, 8 few
&c us fell ii With All odd FISH, enjoying an Texan
.g%olouefs commission. He has a strange habit
{ using the longest words, and invariably mis-
s~9plying them; for instance, (he wishes 10 sell
u some Iots.) "Buy here, gentlemen, if you
wish to make fortunes; here's the location for a
nagnanirnous city; we're at the foot Of nayiga-
tion. Next year I'll put up a lawyers fxins, a
notheeary's d0ins, and a blacksmith's institu-
ion, and afterwards a doctors infrmity and a
regular cimetry; then ali the folks from the cir
eumiasper countries will send in their bows and
gals Of both sexes to be McAdamiscd into col
lege Indication. Then I'll instruct a meetin
house and the stores and tavcrn8 will spring up
On course. I cant do this till next year, eos |
hay'nt got hard cash enough vet, let a man offer
NE one. and if | don't make a sacrament of him
then | wont. Do you see that wel2 I'll put q
pump handle into it, and fix an anecdote to fetch
the water through all the meandering and tur-
pentine walks in my sash garding, and the eff
tects of the irrogation will be such that the very
air will be polluted with the odoriferous execra-
AiptAN liONlA tlhtt4lH lOll LIZ tiyhIiC III 1 IT. tA
uccoucher in any thing it is in aowers-Hll put
up a diarrhna in the middle Of them, for my
women folks to store the milk and butter; and
then run a condition through my house and pro
Vision it of, but I'll run up a real ediice next
ear, and clay a chronology on the top, 50 that
the ladies and gentlemen may look at the stars
and the milky way through a horoscope that TIL
export from Galveston. | can't do italI at once;
cod NV rnt,, falls ano rrrCr;,, ,,r .,I ritFiprr
more and more c0stive and 'pensiye on me ey-
cry day. Come in, gentlemen-and let Us lick
her,
ABrusseI Belgium journal announces that a
hotel keeper and his wife having been prosecu-
ted for assassiuating traveller, and converting
his body into sausages, were found guilty, with
the addition Of eKtenuating circumstances. The
Paris LIE Constitutional copies the above state
meut, and observes that no doubt the extenua-
ting circumstances were, that the convicted p1r-
ties were induced to commit a horrid murder in
order to feed their fellow creatures in this period
of universal distress.
ALWAYS DRY.-"I say, mother said a regu-
lar street loafer, the other night, after he had
deposited something in a rickety old cupboard
and laid himself down upon the floor, 81 want
YOU to wake me when l get dry?9
SLOW shall | know when you get dry" asked
bis mother.
"0h, just wake me up at any time; I'm always
dry"
A wild, merry, mischievOus damscl Of our ac-
quaintance, having become tired of vexing the
city beauS, intends to pay a visit to the ioterior
lakes for the purpose Of extending the era of
her conquests. We advise the ladies there to
stick a little more '%'rosin' to their heels to en-
able them to hold their footing" against the
dangerous new conner.
'.Fannv, don't you think that Mr.. Bold IS u
handsome nan?' oh, no! | can't endure him.
He is homely enough" "WelI, he's fortunate
At all events; for an old aunt has jus: died and
left him fifty thousand dollars" ''Endeed, is it
true? Now | come to recollect there is a GER
tain noble air about him, and he has q fine eve
chat can't be denied
We met a few Sunday mornings past, a rosy
checked maiden. with ruby lips and ivory teeth,
vending her way to the house Of God. She had
pencil and paper, to note down the portions Of
the sermon she most admired. We could not
but think to Ourself, does heaven contain a sweet
eF recording angel"
Belle Estelle says when Won meet imam with
a chang dog countenance," and who goes along
the street as If he was afraid to look in your
fDce, it is proof positive that he is one the "hen
pccked" chickens. And that when you see a
woman with a red nose and chin, it Is asignshe
pours Spirits down to keep her spirits up
The flowers have shut their eyes-the zephyr
has rocked the leaves to sleep, and the little
birds have laid their beads under their wings,
where they repose in feather beds Of minstrel
JOY.
a young artist loved q peasant girl. She died,
and ne carved a budding rose upon her tomb,
and inscribed these words: "feIle fut eIle.'-
Such was she.) Who but q poet would have
made such an appropriate epitah2
"Madlm," said a doctor to an Old maid, you
stand in need of the sun and air. TIL Won nave
them you cannot get we'll" 'Ba, doctor--pve
no objection against . son and heir, but must
get-a husband first"
An old unsophisticated old lady, reading that
there were MANY '~altered bills" about, said She
vas sartin' ont. ''Thar's my William, now
Why, l skacely knew the child after KUN back
from my voyage, he wuz so altered"
Major Noah used to say, IF you tell woman
she is handsome, she win call you q ~aatterer; If
you tell her she is. ugly, she viii d~enounce yoa
as an impudent slandereF."
s'Thisi is n beautiful day said a pretty girl TO
a bachelor, recently. yes" vas the reply,
but the day is not the only thing which Is very
beautiful"
An exchange thus advcrtiscs: 1.-TWO sisters
want washing" We hope, at any rate, they
have clean faces.
sIxcER1rY.-Use no hurtful deceit; think IN
1~ocently and justly; and if you speak, speak &C
cordingly.
Jusr1cE.-Wrong none by doing injuries. or
emitting the benefits that are your duty.
Life is a flower garden, in which new bios,
SONS are opening as fast as others fade,