Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1862-05-22
A CORN STORY.

relates the following mealy yarn. 1t IS evident
that the writer has had bsd bringing up, to
write such libel upon corn. The inference is,
that be agrees with the chap out west who re-
piled to an inquiry what they did with their
corn, ga small portion Of il was wasted for
bread, but the rest was converted into glorious
whiskey" But let him tell his story
As to corn meal, contend that no sensible
person can pretend to digest it: it is horrible
enough as mush, but as cakes-good Heaven
From corn meal, whether as boiled mush, or
mush and molasses, or fried mush, or mush
pudding, or cakes, the Lord deliver us I do
not wonder the Irish scorned our corn meal
charity; and lost am in admiration of the
heroic and Christian example Of the dying
Celt who turned over and valiantly expired,
in a shiver OF horror and indignation, when, as
the only resort, the corn meal griddle cake
was placed between starvation and his shriv-
elled lips With him it was not all Of life to
live.
Corn meal, besides has been the nursery Of
New England abolition. never see any form
Gf this heather abOmination, but am remind
ed Of the story of two Connecticut farmers who
had been brought up on corn meal.
Job Green and John Brown were neighbors.
Brown was a thrifty, early-in- the-day man,
but Green was as lazy and backward as the
Tribune considers Mcclellan; while both were
rs poor as the turkey of the man after whom
Green was named. Browns seed was always
- q
and the crops Of Green were generally so late
In the field. that when he would be reaping,
Brown would be mending fences and stringing
up his winter pumpkins.
One day Brown looked over the fence, and
spying Green hard at work, he called out:
''Hillo, Gerreen! what ye doin' ?| -
"Plantin' corn. Heow de dew" o.
'Plantin' corn! Plantin' corn this time o.
the menth," .
"Why, yis; got ter dew it some time o.
nuther, eff it is late.'' .---..
E'Ye oughter done it airlier Why mines
up so high. That corn won't come tew shucks,
yeow mark my words; and what yer goin tew
dew aseout yer pumpkins? Gerreen yer en-
tirely tew packard: that ERE corn shoulder bin
sot ever so long sencs. Tew them as hes is
guv. ye know"
"Wsll, / dunno-I dunno as that applies
tew corn" replied Green; and Brown went
absut his business congratuIating himself upon
his sup" rior method of doing things.
The summer passed and cold weather ap-
preached; crops were in and the work Of the
season was over, when one day having nothing
else to do, Brown walked over to see how
Green was getting on. Hearing a noise in the
barn, he entered, and found Green husking
his corn.
WHAT screamed Brown; "ondly list
huskin' cOrn?-ondly jist go
That's 50, BerroWn; and pesky poor corn
it is tew, some on it, tell ye1"
mo wonder, Gerreen! What kin ye expect
Of corn planted so late as yourn was? / tell
ye, Gerreen, yell come to the poOr'us yit-
yer tew derned shiftless. Meow, list look at
me, fur instants. True, I'm poor, but, Sam
Hill Gerreen, faint my fault. Times is
hard and my fam 'ly's big, and they eat a aw-
ful sight; still my house is in good condition,
my crops is average, and 1 dew the best kin
But look at yewi Jist look at that ere house
and this'ere barn, Yew plant late, and o.
course ye dig late, and ye don't git much
when ye dew dig nuther. o. course! Meow
here's this ere corn; yOurn ISM shelled yit-
and yer fam'lys wantin' il all the tiae-I
may say tbeyre sufferin' for il this very min
nit, and here it amt of the cob But, look at
mine, I'm all husked and shelled, and"
''Yis, yis, Berrown, that may be; but
don't see heoW it kin be helped. Whsr's
gsOHr corn !'
''Whar's my corn 2''
"Yis, adZactly; Whsr's yeour corn ?'
"Why, whsr should it be! What did
raise il fur Most on it's eat up, and the
That's jist it, Berrown-that's jist it. Yeou
and don't look at this ere in the same light
look ahead-yeOu don't. We calc'la diff
ferent, ye see: yeou plant sirIy, and l plant
late. Here's my corn, an yourn's all eat upl''
Brown was confused; and while Green, con-
fdent in his philosophy, went on husking and
shelliDg, Brown walked home, scratching his
ears in a sad plight. and utterly unable to get
4 right understanding Of the matter through
his hair.
"Here's my corn, and yourn's all eat up -