Columbia Democrat and Bloomsburg general advertiser. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1850-1866, 1862-12-20
CUNT
The Presidents New Plan.


Presidents new plan for the abolition of
slavery in the following strain of bitter
irony
But are we, then, in favor of tho Presi
dents plant Certainly we are, We arc
in favor of any plan for the good Of man.
kind including the plan for planting the
Central Park with those trees which bear
roast pigs for fruit, and the plan for build.
ing railway across the Atlantic, with a
branch road to the moon. Let Congress
pass the requisite acts Immediately, and
make the Presidents project. effective. -
1t is a long time from 1862 to 1000
There will be great many changes be-
fore these thirty seven years and one
month are over. We expect to carry ev-
cry State by conservative majority be-
fore that period. We expect to elect
s4ve:a' conservative Presidents and Con-
gress before the emancipation millennium
dawus. Ii anything is badly legislated
now a-days we rel y upon these future ru.
lers to repeal it and straighten matters
out. In 1900 the war will be almost
forgotten, and little boys and girls, yet
unborn, will he studying its history in their
school books. In 1900 Greeley will have
graduated at the almshouse or the lunatc
asylum, and his very name will be lost in
oblivion, or remembered on y with those
of Judas lsciriot, Benedict Arnold and
jeff Davis. In 1900 Beccher and Chez
yer will be testing the truth of some Of
their sermons. In 1900 Philips, Garrison
an Gercit Smith will be atoning for the
misery they have caused In 1900 the
nation will be greater, purer, and more
powerful than its present condition would
indicate. If any one wishes to add that
in l 90 all the slaves will be free, we
have not the slightest objection. Half OF
them would have been freed thirty years
ago if the fanatical abolitionists had not
chosen the negro as hack upon which to
ride into high political places All that is
necessary to enc this rebellion and restore
the Union is to set the niger aside and
settle treason by hard knocks. If the
Presidents idea is to accomplish this by
postponing Sambo uu,il 900, we think it
au excellent scheme, and will support it
loyalty. We have always admired the
President as joker, but we never imag.
ued that he could so aptly blend exquisite
humor and practical common sense in an
official document He knows that the ag-
itation about slavery hinders the war, and
he is right in desiring to postpone this ag-
itaton. In fact, a truce on the negro
question until 1909 is military necessity
As such the abelitionists will be obliged 10
submit to it with their customary grace
We see no reason, indeed, why the whole
country should not be unanimous upon the
subject. None of the present generation
need object to the Presidents plan for
as the message says, we shall not have tc
pay the taxes to carry it in to operation
and shall all be in our dotage or in our
graves before it is consummated. The fu
ture generation is in no condition to object
now, aud we are not aware that anybody
except, perhaps one of the spiritual lnedi-
ums-cau claim to be their representative
and object for them. 1t is our business
to secure a country for the future genera
tions to dwell in (: and as they must pay
the emancipation taxes, certainly they
ought to be allowed to arrange the dar-
keys status, themselves. We repeat
therefore, that Congress should immedi
ately adopt the Presidents suggestions
and then, having disposed of the inevita
bic African until 1900, we can direct ou
whole attention to the vigorous prosecution
of the war for the Union and the Consti
tuition.