The Nashville daily union. [volume] (Nashville, Tenn.) 1862-1866, 1862-11-01
SATURDAY MoRNINo. NOV. /. 1862.
Capture Of Turkey.

Capture Of Turkey.
A military operation, involving large
amount Of strategy, was reported to US
he other day, which deserves at least an
humble place in the history Of this war.
u seems that Buck, the well known port
er at the Capitol, combining a desire for
speculation, with taste FOR ornilhology,
lad invested divers and sundry dimes
and quarters, which he had accumulated,
in the purchase Of several specimens of
The popular domestic fowl known as the
American Turkey, intending, doubtless,
70 reap handsome per ccntage on their
original cost, when their bodies should
reach the proper degree Of corpulency,
and the blockade should render the pur-
chase Of even a turkey-buzzard, let alone
a simon-pure turkey, an impOssibility.
The plan and conception, so far as we are
able TO judge, were good, were faultless.
We do not care, indeed, as newspaper
correspondents say, we do not feel author
lied, TO state the precise number OF the
turkeys purchased, but we are not vior
lating any confidence reposed in us, as
the same wise men would say, in stating
that at least an approximation TO the
true number may be attained by thrice
counting the digits Of one hand. Alas!
for the uncertainty Of all human specula-
ton; the turkeys suddenly vanished
Their owner went one morning full Of
hope to feed his biped flock, and like
JosErn and SIMEON "they were not
. Who can blame Buck for uttering several
Z words not TO be found in the celebrated
Theological Dictionary, published under
his name His fowls had been fouly
dealt with His suspicious were direct
Cd Immediately TO squad of soldiers
quartered in a neighboring house, for he
sncw how fond college boys and soldiers
are of turkeys; and obtaining the proper
authority, he Immediately instituted a
gearch The soldiers manifested a mostlau-
liable interestin assisting Buck, unlocking
clothes presses, trunks, and yalises, opening
bureaus, looking into quart bottles, and
under carpets, and, in fact in every
place where the abducted individuals
would be most likely TO be--aot found.
BUCK wanted TO 60 up into the loft,
through a trap-doOr which he by chance
espied. His military friends remon-
strated; they assured him they were
not there that nobody but citizens of
tho United States could go up there; that
turkeys were not citizens of the United
States, and, of course, were not up there;
and that finally, by the DRIED ScorT deci-
sion, BUCK was not a eitize7, any more
than the turkeys, and Of course he
couldn't go up. Besides, who ever heard
or read, in ancient or modern history, Of
turkeys being cooped up in a garnet
Think of that, Master BUcKp Buck
insisted; they demonstrated he fumed,
they roared, until finally he vowed to
summon the war department to the spot,
and then they yielded. Book jumped
up on a table, and pushed up the trap
door, when, miaJile diotU, two Of his
biggest turkeys, who had been put out as
pickets, pecped down in his face, and
demanded the countersignl He gave it,
and they "gObbled him tp;' that is, they
invited him to come up aud reclaim his
prisoners. lie did so, although we grieve
TO say, that, close confinement, bad diet,
military voracity, and sundry sales, had
reduced their number to only FIVE