Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1862-09-13

1 !eilPsi 50 Soou d lulhS taal We
should never lose it.
What living creature has albeard
without a. chin? ? An oyster.sr.rro0 4.
| Keep a list Of, your sorrows, and
let tie sorrow for sin be first. .tssiG-.s
The ship called. statesmanship is
generally specimen of land-craft. s-ga
The gates Of heaven are low,arch,s
ed; we must enter upon our knees a.,
If a Ledger weighs IA lbs, how
many stamps does it require to postit:
After a young man has sowedshis
Wild oats, he should adopt stable hab-.
it's. ...s 81 r.., .-s s-te;T -lt.-s..t "a
Why are the Germans like quinine
and gent;an? Because they are. two,
tonics. av frTtq q - ~ ''
No horse ever found mares nest.
That discovery can only be made by
Jackass. 49, '''' a''S'5'S'1 4'Si,EioSs.
Are the minutes relating to an raf-
fair OF honor, always drawn up by the
seconds? ~ T. 'l.Lant -rt'rEH.a
Ks there any perceptible improve
ment In caterpillar when it turns over
new leaf?
When an artist says the world
came by chance, can he by any chance
explain how? s.. -'..... '.'... 81
why is the author the most pecuI-
lar of animals 4? Because his tale comes
out of his head No.. ..s. ;..,,-.t,. "a
Can the .bootmaker who stretches
your boots be justified in saying, ''boots
grow on a tree % ra.-a..r rse
There is no doubt that the South
ern Contede-acy will be recognized
as great failure. ,..5 IT,. ..-..- ....-.s.,
If you want to be suited, go to a
good tailor; if you want to be nom
suited, go to law. ga.J ii f. 1stasres
The family of the late ex-presi-
dent Tyler, we see it stated, have re-
Gently come north. br. ,ss' raH.af
Can this be called free country
where you so frequently hear of peoples
memories being taxed? %
TO deserve praise where none is
obtained, is better than to obtain praise
where none is deserved. H|'.''1z
Here is pretty good toast. "lIav
your coffee and SANDERS against yolI be
ever alike-without grounds 10 + + p p
-Scrutinize a lawyer when he tells
you how to avoid litigation, and doc
tor when he drinks your health.
A purse without money is better
than head without brains: the one
can be filed, but the other cannot. a
- Make the best Of everything. If
you have the jaundice, exult that YOU
have a golden prospect before you.
We are told to have hope and
trust: but what's a poor printer to do,
when he can no longer get any trust?
Why are the ends Of the French
Emperor's moustache like good meas
ure: Because they areImperial pints.
1t has been said IN behalf of Sec
ond marriages, that wedock is like
wine-.:ot to be. properly Judged oftill
the second glass So r.. .,.,s,ssy
There is a firm in EIgin, Illinois,
known as "Gray 81 Lunt.2" Half the
letters, that come to it are directed
LAY and Grunt. !" -'-''
Miss Jones. says the reason why
she preferred the sewing machine that
she bought is that the best feller in the
world is attached to tt g.. III
-"sir" said DR.. johnson, sit is
shame to speak i'll Of man behind bis
back. but | think the gentleman who
has just left the room is an attorney"
"A young Doctor in a new Settle
mept. on being asked to contribute to-
wards enclosing the village cemetery,
very eoolly replied ifthe filed it he
thought he should do bis part. ~
-Jerrold went to party at which
Mr.. Pepper had assembled. all bis
friends. Jerrold said to, his host, on
entering the room, siMy5 dear Mr., Pep
per, how glad you must be to see all
your friends mustered'}2d ,rslyaraao
-"Captain, are YOU going to run
your steamboat in this fog pa tinid
passenger asked of ore OF the Sound
skippers. NO, sir," "AwasR the reply,
eve might as well try to drive a toad
through barrel Of tar" o1d - Il
An Irishman, being little, fud-
died, Was asked what was bis religious
belief Il, it me belafe ye'd be asking
about? It's the same as the widdy's,
and she behaves Til niyer pay her-and
faith, that's my belate too - ~
-"' ..-=synyalaJ nIatiuo1 sd1