The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1862-11-01
A WAR MEETING.
BY ARrEMus WARD.

4
| They We bin havin' 'em bad in varis parts
of our cheerful Republic. and naturally we
caught 'em herein Baldinsville. They
broke out all over US. They're better atten-
/ ded than the eclipse was.
! ! remember how people poured into town
las. spring to see the eclipse. They labor
| ed in al impression that they couldn't see
it to home. and SO they came up 10 our
place. cleared very handsome amount
of money by exhibi;in' the eclipse to 'em in
an open top tent. But the crowds is bigger
now. Posey county is aroused. / may
say, indede. that the piay-hay -ories of 1nji-
amy is on FIRE.
Oar big meetin' come off the other night,
and our old friend OF the BG9le was elected
Cheerman.
The Bugle Horn of Liberty is one Of
Bal0insvilie's most emenentest instootions.
The advertisements are we'll written, and
tbed deaths and marriages are conducted with
signal ability. The editor, Mr.. Slinkers, is
a polish d sarcastic writer. Folks in these
parts will not soon forget how he used up
the Eagle of Freedom, family journal pub
lisbed at Snootville, near here. The contro-
versey was about plank road. 1.-The road
may be. as our contemporary says,a humbug;
but OUR aunt isn't baldheded and we haven't
got one-eyed sister Sal Wonder If the
editor of the Eagle of Freedom sees it ?'-
This used up the Eagle of Freedom Teller,
because his aunt's head does present d
skinned appearance, and his sister Sarah Is
very much one-eyed. For genteel home
thrust MIR. Slinkers has few ekals. He is
man of great pluck likewise. He has fierce
nostril, and believe upon my soul, that if
1t wasn't absolutely necessary for him to re-
main here and announce from week to week,
that sour Government is about TO take Wig
'rous measures to put down the rebellion, -
| believe u?on my soul this illustris man
would enlist as a Brigadier General and git
his bounty.
l was 6xin' myself up to attend the great
war meetin', when my daughter entered
with young man who was evijently from
the city, and who wore long hair, and had a
wild expression into his eyes In one hand
he carried portfolio, and his other paw
claspt bunch Of small brushes. My daugh
ter introduced him as Mr.. Swillbeer, The
; distinguished landscape painter from Phila
delphia.
He is an artist, papa. Here is one o.
his Masterpieces young mother gain
Admiralty upon her first born" and my
9 daughter showed me really pretty picter
y done in lie. "Is it not beautiful papa? He
> throws SO much so much sole into hi:
;; work.
:, = Does he ? does he % said I-"well
i reckon I'd better hire him to whitewasl
f our fence. 1t needs it. What will yol
). charge sir,'' l continered. "to throw SOM
q sole into my fence 20
h My daughter vent out of the room il
Oh IL IL
4 her. and from the emphatical manner il
i which the door slam'd, concluded she wa
). somewhat disguised at my remarks. Sh
% closed the door, may say, in italics.
?. went into the closet and larfed all alone b!
myself for over half an hour. l larfed 81
'lently that the preserve jars rattle'
! like an off Sser's sword and things, which
aroused Betsy, who came and opened th
:, door pretty student. She seized me b.
the few lonely hairs that still linger sadl
r. upon my bare fooled he'd. and dragged m
- out of the closet, inciiently observing ths
. she didn't exactly see why she should b
compelled at her advanced stage of life, t
IS open an ASYLUM for sooperanooated idiots
" My wife is one of the best wimmi
IS on this continent, altho' she isn't Away
lie gentle as lamb, with mint sauce. No
ne not always.
er But to return to the war meetin'. 1t wa
a. largely attended. The editor of the Bugl
h arose and got up and said the fact could n
II longer be disguised that we were involve
in war. Human gore,'' said he, 81
lowin'. All able bodied men should seiz
e mvsket and march to the tented field.
d repeat it. sir, to the tented field.
ia a Volce-"Why don't you GO yoursAl
,e old blowhard 90
II am identified, young man, with a Al
= kymedian leaver which moves the world,
is said the editor. wipihg his auburn brol
,e with his left coat-tail. / allude, young mar
NJ to the press. Terms, two dollars a yea
or invariably in advance. Job printing exc
cuted with neatness and dispatch % An
with this brilliant bust of eloquence the ed
itor introduced Mr.. j. Brutus Hinkinc
=. who is sufferin' from an attack of Colleg
- in naberin' place. Mr.. Hinkins sal
IL Washington was not safe. Who can saw
= our national capeetle ?''
- "Dan Setchell.'' I said "He can do
II afternoons. Let him plant his light an
" airy form onto the Long Bridge. make face
at the hirelin' foe, and they'll skedaddie
>, Old Setch. can do it,
- Il call the Napoleon of Showmeu." sal
n the editor of the Bugle-''I call the Napc
= leonic man, whose life is adorned with s
i many noble virtues, and whose giant min
"a lights up this warlike scene-I call him {
order"
will remark iu this connection that th
editor of the Bugle does my job printing.
,e "You," said Mr. Hinkins, "gho lives ava
), from the busy haunst of men, don't compre
IF bend the magnitood Of the crisis. Tn
busy haunts of men is where people com