The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1862-01-08
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
= To cure poverty-sit down AM
growl about il. 1870

growl about IT, 1910
= How to make people acknowledge
the cornY-tread on their toes.
l. When YOU bury animosity, don't
set tombstone over its grave.
= 1t is almost ms difficult 10 recover
lost reputation as lost umbrella.
- He who takes the child by the hand,
takes the mother by the heart.
- Fashionable people are apt 10 starve
their happiness in order to feed their van
ity.
= II is only those who have done
nothing who fancy they can do every.
thing.
= A rich young lady should be an
archer, for she can bend her beau as she
pleases,
= That man can not be your friend
who will not allow you 10 teach him any
thing. ir
- Our Country right or wrong; when
right to be kept right-when wrong to be
put right. ,a .,..
- +" Death loves q shining mark
Gentlemen with branded noses will take
warning.
= 1t is very we'll for little children to
| be lambs, but a very bad thing TO grow
up sheep.
: Famous literary dishes-Bacon,
Lamb aid Hogg; also, Herring, Crabbe
and Chdw-Sir." H.
= Keep our Of hasty mans way for
a while; out of sullen mans, all the
days of your life. .#
= Ladies are like violets; the more
modest and retiring they appear, the more
you love them. h r.l.a..
- "What's in dress ?" asks popu-
lar writer Sometimes a good deal, and
sometimes precious little. r.....
- "Bob, how is your sweetheart GET
ting along?" pretty well, guess; she
says | needn't come any more"
=" With all thy faults | love thee
STILL" as tho man said to his wife when
she was giving him curtain lecture.
=" Don't you think, husband, that
you are apt to believe everything you
hearW "No, madam, not when you
talk" ......
"A young fellow, fond of talking, re.
marked, 81 am no prophet" "True,
replied lady present.; "no profit tc
yourself or to any one else"
- Dobbs says that the remarks O
Mr., Smith, of Alabama, are like the con
tents of parenthesis-they might all bC
left out without any loss of sense.
"Sir," said guest to the clerk o
a Chicago hotel, "you must have made
mistake in my bill" Whyp "Be
} cause | can pay it and have money left.
- 81 say, John, where did you ge
that loafers hat?" "Please yer honor,
said John, "it's an old one of yours tha
Missis gave me yesterday, when you wer
to town."
l = A barrister observed TO learne,
: brother in court, that he thought hi
{ whiskers were very unprofessional. Yo
: are right" replied his friend, ga lawye
r cannbt ha too hornfocnl
ID - A President of Western Ban
. rushes up to friend: "Charley can
, you give me change for dollar9 l sc
|, the bank superintendent is in town, an
, | want some specie in the vault to max
: show"
- A good one is told of n Quake
. volunteer, who was in Virginia skirmisf
Z Coming in pretty close quarters with
rebel, he remarked, Friend, it's unfor
tunate, but thee stands Just where In
: going to Shoot" and blazing away dow
caIne " secesh."
e =" "Ma, did women go privateerini
G in Scripture times |" '
Astonished Mother" No, George
what could possess you to think soT
y Child" Why, ma, | heard you read
: ing in the Bible last Sunday about th
a widow'S crmze."
= Another Dixie:
There's Miss Dix, in Washington,
And Benedix, the Colonel,
: And General Dix whointerdiots
Secession schemes internal.
Pete Bcauregard, look out for JEFF,
Or spite of all his tricks, he
viii havo to dance another dance,
" And to another Dixie.
e = An odd sort of genius, having step
y ped into mill, was looking with app0
S rent astonishment at the movements c
! the machine when the miller, thinking t
quiz him, asked if he had heard the new:
"Nofs | know on, what is it?"
Ia Whv rap,liad tho ,nilIar g tbay ea