The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1862-01-29
For the TINES.

uiS SaS0s hiSuS S0uScO Vy SuCouutcIi'S
the "big bug" and has been very much
"surprised" lately in one of his under.
ground pcrambulations. His teeth and
claws have grown out some since his un-
successful attack on the bank, for find
him pretty sharp after Mr.. Grundy. After
viewing with apparent delight the sur.
prises which many connected with govern
ment matters have met with, he was very
much surprised by being invited to a party,
not erpecting an inritation. He accepted,
but in looking over his wardrobe he finds
it rather rusty no doubt owing to his en-
ployment bringing him so often in contact
with the vulgar class who earn their living
by manual labor, or perhaps his "hole un-
der the bluff has not been swept clean
enough of late to keep his garments in
proper order to attend surprise parties"
Hear him saying mot drop in the bucket"
Il suppose he would have washed himself
if there had been,) as mistress" of his
presented herself before him with "her hair
done up in old papers," demanding pair
Of slippers (which had seen their best
days." which she accused him of having
carried into his ''hole." He denied the
charge, but assured her that as he was about
to attend "surprisc party" with Mr..
"Starchup' and "Stuckup'-that he would
make some enquiries and give her his notes
as remuneration. Having understood
from some cause that the party was at a
house which encroached upon his part of
the globe-"being stuck into the side hilr'-
he concluded to 60 in advance of his friends
and tickled his palate" by gnawing thro'
the Eastwood Of which the house was com.
posed-coming in the back way, of course
he told the servant to introduce him to
the family, although being told politely that
they were mot at home" Having gained
access to the private apartments of Mr..
Grundy, he introduced himself as Mr..
"Telltale" who had come over to inform
Mr.. Grundy (knowing him to be pork
merchanD that pigs tails had dropped so
low lately that he was about going into the
speculation of changing them little and
selling them to old maids for "beau ketch-
ers." The gentleman and his family were
very much surprised at the boldncss of
Gopher and resumed their game of whist
telling the servant to show Gopher the
door. He went away taking "kick be-
fore he could hint" and shall be sur
plised If Gopher ever enters Mr.. Grundy's
"basswood palatial residence" again. His
pouch becoming distended with Eastwood
chips he thought it would be fine oppor-
tunity to have little fire, as the rags and
old notes Of which his bed was composed
had been swept away in his absence. So he
set fire to the large pile he had gathered
from the "basswood house." and was ''lit-
tie interested" at the results, as the wind or
some other cause carried the fire into two
story building which was soon inf1ames;
this communicated to other tenements
and the rapidity of their progress made
Gopher think his time had come.
Leaving his ''holc" he saw the "citizens
working harmoniously together" and join
ing them he tried to have the efforts to save
life ard property stopped, while "chicf
engineer" could be appointed, Che probably
wanting the situation.) They not needing
his reasonable request he puffs himself up
and with as much importance as he could
assume, cries in weak and cracked voice,
take the bud. Stand of dem ar hose"
An individual at his side hearing a voice
looked down and remarked: 81 don't care
if l do take drink, the air is very close"
Finding that he was "very small potatoes"
at such livery big fire." he retired to
safe distance and meditatcd whether he had
not better take "notes" of those who had
suffered by the fires, but finding his medi-
tations were to severe upon his very weak
brain, he concluded the labors Of the day
by climbing ''ladder four feet high" and
swapping "six old wooden buckets" with
an insurance company" for "two medium
sized wash tubs" they sharing the expense
among them" which probably means that
the buckets cost him nothing. Ever sweep
ing, (after Gopher,)
BROOK
e"My DEAR" said an alderman to his
devoted wife, as he was looking in his glass,
81 cannot understand how it is that my