The Alleghanian. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1859-1865, 1862-08-07
A Live Yankee i'm a.onooa.

ooH. ME passing through one OF the
principal thoroughfares of trade and trav-
ell, his attention was suddenly arrested by
some beautiful specimens Of writing paper,
| exposed for sale at shop window. See
| ing the proprietor of the establishment
standing at the door, the Yankee civilly
inquired of him what he did with "them
nice bits of paper"
eve keep them TO tie up 'gape seed
in - said sse cockney, snappiskly.
90, ye du-du yep said Jonathan,
while he looked as though he was invent
ing trick with which he intended to pay
| off the impertinent cockney in his own
| coin. Passing down the street u few steps,
our indignant Yankee saw another mer-
chant, who was not only an Englishman,
but gentleman also.
81 say, mister, can you tell me what
that fellow does for livin' as keeps them
ere nice bits of paper at his window"
''Yes, sir; he is a small dealer in paper,
those who desire his assistance"
q reckon he is very small dealer,
and he is pharisee as we'll as scribe
Do ye think he'd write letter for me if
L paid him for it ?'
"Certainly-he will jump atthe chance
That is his principal occupation"
The Yankee thrust his hands into his
pockets, and walked deliberately back to
the shop where he had been so rudely
treated.
II say, mister, they say as how you sell
paper and write letters for folks what can't
write. What will ye tax to write letter
to my sister Sallie %
Il shall charge you FIVE shiilings," re-
piled the Englishman, perceptibly soften
ing his tone.
'.Will ye write just as [ tell you, and
spell the words right, as we do in Var
mount 2" inquired the Yankee
''Io be sure | viii. l understand my
business perfectly
"Well, L don't care if ye'du; guess
you may write to Sally"
The Londoner procured pen, ink and
paper, and the Yankee dictated alter the
following style:
"Dear Sister Sally"
'Haye you got that DOWN."
eyes"
''Rived in London last week.
"fiey you got that down and spelt all
right?
Ies-go on"
"Thousht I'd go into the country and
take ride"
''Got that down right?'
"Yes, yes; go ou aud don't detain me-"
81 pay We five shillings, don't [, by and
by ?"
Yes-brt We need not detain me So"
CHATS my business, and not yourn.
Wall-The old mare banked"
"Baulked is a hard word can ye spell
it that Sally II know what it means ?''
'.To be sure / cam
"Wall-She wouldn't 90, so licked
her"
$50 ou."
Clicked her, licked her, licked her"
''What is the use of repeating it so
many times ?'
"Never you mind pay you FIVE shil-
lings-Lickod her, licked her, licked her,
licked her, licked her, licked her"
''This page is full of licked hers"
"Turn over, then. Licked her, licked |
her, licked her, licked her, licked her.
She wouldn't 90 then, SO got out and
kicked her, kicked her, kicked her, kick |
ed her, kicked her"
y You don't intend saying that as many
times as you said licked herr
'.None Of your business; | pay you five
shiliings-Kicked her, kicked her, kicked |
her, kicked her. Still she wouldn't go, |
so | sharpened the end Of the whip han
die and pricked her, pricked her, pricked |
her, prieked her, prickcd her"
~ cannot see any sense in this"
"Neyer you mind L pay you for what /
You do Licked her, kicked her, pricked /
her, licked her, kicked her, pricked her,
kicked her, kicked her, pricked her, lick (
ed her, kicked her. licked her, kicked /
her, pricked her She wouldn't 60 then, I
even, SO / got in the kerridge and r
(herc the Yankee made chirruping noise /
with his lips, which bids defiance 10 Or
thography)
q cannot spell that" said the English
man.
80, ye can't-eb? Wall, ye needn't
write any more for me if you can't spell
what | want yol to.
"Need not write any more !" said the
cockney, with !ook Of utter astonish-
ment.
"No more" said the Yankee. perfectly
composed.
MT word to close ,"
Mary word.