St. Cloud Democrat. [volume] (Saint Cloud, Stearns County, Minn.) 1858-1866, 1862-07-31

Correspondence Of the Sunday Mercury.
Letter from 0rpheus G. Kerr.
Censtit1tional l1tShting-Dattle 81 Duck
L.ke-Masterlx st.ete4y-TAe Aaeksrsl
BrdSads eevsEs itself With Glory.
Owing to the persistent stupidity Of
Congress and the hideously-treasouable
Vaccinations of the unscrupulous black
republicans, my boy, the weather still con-
tinues very hot j.; and unless the thermom-
oter falls very soon, an exasperated pcru-
lace will demand an immediate chuge in the
Cabinet. am very warm, my boy, II am
very warm aud when I reflect upon the
agency of the abolitionists, Who have
brought this sort of thing about for the
express purpose Of injuring my Constitu-
ton, am impelled to ssk myself: Did our
revolutionary forefathers indeed expire iu
vain? O my country! my country it is
very warm.
I was talking some moments ago with 4
regimental surgeon, who has more patients
on a monument than Shakspere ever
dreamed about, and says he "In conse-
quence of the great number Of troops now
about this city, all the oxygen in the At
mosphere is exhausted, and We are very
warm. Had all these troops been sent to
Mcclellan two weeks ago." says he, using
lis lancet to pick dead fly out of his
tumbler, eve mi ght be able to keep cool
now. There is 4 terrible responsibility on
somebody's shoulders."
That's very true, my boy, and it's very
warm.
There was panic this morning in 6nan-
cial circles, owing to the frantic conduct
Of gambling chap from the Senate, who
has been saving up money to bet on the
fall Of Richmond, and was trying to put it
out on interest. .4I'll take seven per cent.
for it the first year." says he anxiously,
land leave it standing until national strate-
ey comes to a head"
A broker took it for five years, my boy,
with the privilege Of extending the time
after each fresh victory.
Speaking Of victories, my boy. l was
present at the recent series Of triumphs by
the Mackerel Brigade, on the LETT shore Of
Duck Lake, and witnessed succession of
feats calculated to culminate either in the
fall Of Richmond or the fall Of the year.
From the headquarters in the city Of
Paris to the brink Of Duck Lake, the
Mackerels were drawn up in gorgeous line
IF battle, their bayonets resembling some
what an uncombed head Of steel hair, and
their noses looking like a way strip of
summer sunset. By their last great strsg
ical maneuvre, they had lured the South
ern Confcderacy to court its own destruc-
ton by danking them at both ends of the
line, and they we're ouly waiting for the
master-mind to give them the signal.
Samyule Samith advanced from his
place in the staff n I rode up, and says
he:
"Comrades, the general depends on you
to precede him to glory. We had hoped,"
says Samyule, feelingly, Ito have the cou-
pany of two French counts in this days
slaug liter but these two noble generals
had not time to wait, a. they desired to
visit the Great Exhibition in London"
These remarks were we'll received, my
boy ; and when the order VA given for
Con- pany 8, Regiment S, to detour to the
lett, it would have been promptly obeyed
but for An unforseen incident. Just Is
Captain William Brown was about to break
line for the purpose, an aged chap came
dashing down from First Family country
seat near by, and says he to the General
Of the Maekerel Brigade:
81 demand : guard for my premises i'm
mediately. My wife," says he, with Dig
nifty, "has just been m,king custard pie
for the sick Confsderates il the hospital,
and ~ she has just set it out to cool near
where my little boy shot one Of your van
dals this morning, she Is afraid it might
be taken By your theiving mudsilIs when
they come after the body /, therefore
demand guard for my premises in the
name Of the Constitution of our forefath-
ers."
Here Csptain Bob Shorty stepped for
ward, and says he: r" 81
/. "Whnt does the Constitution say .boat
custard pie, Mr.. Davis p ..... ..y, ..,
II claim projection under that clause
which refers % the pursuit Of happiness.
Custard pies." says he, reasoninglj, ''srs
included in the pursuit of happ;ssss."e:1
That's very trus," says The ,gsusr,l,
looking kindly over his fan at the venera.