, 1862-01-03

hav no hinges where the wimmin air slip-shod,
and where maps of the devils "wild land" air
painted on mems shirt bosums with tobacco jooce
That's what I'll show you. Let US consider what
the preachers do for US before we aboose EN-"
He sed he didn't mean to aboose the clergy
MOI at all, and he was happy to see that was in.
terested in the Bonypart family.
iIt's CRATE family sed L "But they scooped
the old man in"
eHcw. sir P"
Napoleon the Grand. The Britishers scooped
hf 4 ~ al Waterloo. He wanted to do too much,
ano'ned ddit! They scooped nilii..i- s'Eatsalos|
and he subsekently died at St. Heleny There's
wbare5 the. .tsr,teat military mar this world ever
produced pegged out. 1t was rather hard to con-
sine such man as him to St. Heleny, to spend
his larst dsys in catchin mackeril, and walkin up
and down the dreary beach in military cloak
drawn titely round him, (see picter book,) but so
it was. He'd of the army Them was his larst
words So he had bin. He was CRATE Don't
wish we had pair of his old boots to command
sum CT our Brigades" /"
This pleased Jerome and he took me warmly
by the hand.
"Alxander the CRATE was punkins," continued,
"but Napoleon was runkinser Ac wept be-
caws there was no more worlds to scoop, and then
took to drinkin' He drowndid his sorrers in the
flown boe, and the fowin bole was too much for
him. 1t generally is. He undertook to give a
snake exhibition in his boots, but it killed him.
That was bad joke for Alic"
"Since you are solcitous about France and the
Emperor, may I ask you how your own country is
getting along P' sed Jerome in pleasant voice.
"Irs mixed" sed. But think we shall cum
out alright"
columbus, when he diskiyered this magnificent
continent could have had no dee of the grand
eur it would one day assoom," sed the Prints.
at cost Columbus twenty thousand dollars to
fit out his explorin expedition" sed I. "If he had
bin sensbli man he'd hav put the money in boss
railroad or gas company, and left this magnif-
cent continent to the intelligent savages, who,
when they got hold of good thing, knew enuf
to keep it, and who wouldn't hav seeded, nor re
belled nor knockt Liberty in the he'd with slung-
shot. Columbus wasn't much of feller after all.
1t would have been money in my pocket if he'd
stad to home. Chris. ment well but he put his
foot in it when he sailed for America"
We talked some more about matters and
things, and at larst riz TO go. Il wifi now Say
good bye to you, noble sir and good luck to you.
Likewise the same to Clotdy Also to the
Gorgeous persons who compose your SCOT. If the
Emperors boy don't like livin at the Tooleries,
when he gifts older, and would like to imbark in
the show bizness. let him come with me and III
make a man of him. You find us sumwhat mix
ed, as before obsarved but come agin next year
and you'll find us clearer nor ever. The Ameri-
can Eagle has lived too sumptuously of late-his
stummic has becum FOUL and he's now takin
a site emetic. That's all. We're gettin ready to
strike big blow and sure one. When we do
strike the fur will fly and secession will be in the
hands of the undertaken, sheeted for so deep a
grave that nothin short of Gabriels trombone will
ever awaken it Mind what l say. You've heard
Snowman
Then advisin him to keep away from the Peter
Funk auctions of the East and the propretors Of
corner lots in the West, bid him farewell and
went away.
There was levee at Senator Whats-his-name's
and thought I'd jne in the festivities for a spell.
Who should 1 see but she that was Sarah Wat
kins, now the wife of our Congresser, trippin in
the dance, dressed up to kill in her store close
Sarah's father used to keep grosery store in our
town, and she used to clerk it for him in busy
times. [ was rushin up to shake hands with her
when she turned on her heel, and tossin her he'd
in contemptuous manner, walked away from me
very rapid "Hallo, Sal" l holered can't you
measure me quart of them best meiasses may
want Goldfish, also !" guess this reminded her
of the little red store, and "the days of her
happy childhood"
But fell in with nice little gal after that, who
was much sweeter than Sallys fathers melasses
and axed her it we shouldn't glide in the mess J.
dance. She sed we should, and we Glide.
l intended to make this letter very sers. but a
few goaks may bav accidentally crep in. Never
mind. Besides I think it improves a komic1
paper to publish COAX once in while.
Yours Muchly, WARD, (ARTEMUs)
SPEECH OF GEN McCLELLAM-On the occas-