St. Cloud Democrat. [volume] (Saint Cloud, Stearns County, Minn.) 1858-1866, 1862-07-17
A Foraging Party in Virginia
Kentucky Conservation.

Section of the Mackerel Bribade on tor
aging expedition. We went to look up a
few straw beds for the feeding of tie An
atomical Cavalry horses, my boy, and the
Conservative Kentucky y chap went along to
see that we did not violate the constitution
nor the rights of man.
"1t's my opinion, comrade," says Cap
tain Bob Shorty, as We started out-"it's
my opinion, my Union ranger, that this
here unnatural war is getting worked
down to very fine point, when we can't
go out for an armful Of forage without tax
ing the constitution along on an ass.-
l think, says Captain Bob Shorty, "that
the constitution is as much out of place
here as a set of fancy harness would be in
drove of wild buEaloes"
Can such be the case, my boy-can such
be the c7se? Then did our revolutionary
forctathers live in vain.
Having moved along>in gorgeous caval.
cadc until abeut noon, We stopped at the
house Of First Family of Virginia who
we're just going to dinner. Captain Bob
Shortly ordered the Mackercls to stack
arms and draw canteens in the front door
yard, and then we entered the domicil and
saluted the domestic mass meetingin the
dining room.
We come, sir" says Bob, addressing
the venerable and high minded chivalry at
the head of the table, ' to ask if you have
any old straw beds that you don't want,
that could be used for the cavalry of the
United States of America
The chivalry only paused long enough
to throw a couple Of pie plates at Us, and
then says he:
Are you accursed abolitionists 2"
The conservative Kentucky chap STEP
ped hastily forward, and says he:
"No, my dear sir" we're the conscrva-
tive elemcut."
The chivalry's venerable wife, who was
a female Southern Confederacy, leaned
back little in her chair, so that her little
son could see to throw a tea cup at me and
says she:
"You ain't Tribune reportcrs-be you
We were all noes and no ayes. Quite
a feature in social intercourse, my boy.
The aged chivalry caused three fresh
chairs to be placed at the table, and hav-
ing failed to discharge the fowling piece
which he had pointed at Captain Bob
Shortly, by reason of dampness in the cup,
he waved US to his seats, and says he:
"Sit down poor bierlings of gorilla des-
pot and learn what it is to taste the
hospitality of a southern gentleman. You
are Lincoln's hordes," says the chivalry,
shaking his white locks, Sand have come
to butcher the Southern Confederacy but
the Southern gentleman knows how to be
courteous even to / vandal foe.'
Here the chivalry switched cut cane
which he had concealed behind him and
made blow at Captain Bob Shorty.
"See here," says Bob, Indignantly, "I'll
be"
"Hush y says the conservative Ken.
tucky chap, agitatedly, "don't irritate the
old patriarch, or the future amicable re-
construction Of the Union will be out Of
the question. He is naturally little pro.
voked just now" says the Kentucky chap
soothingly, but We must show him tha,
we are his friends"
We all sat down in peace at the hos.
pitable board, my boy only few swee,
potatoes and corn-cobs being thrown by
the ch,ldrca, and found the fare to be in
keeping with the situation of our distrac.
ted country-I may say warfare.
In consequence of :ho blockade Of the
Washington Ape" says the chivalry pleas
antly, eve only have one course, you see;
but even these last years sweet potatoes
must be luxuries to mercenary lnudsilll
accustomed to husks'
l had just reached out my plate to be
helped, my boy, when there came a great
noise from the Mackerels in the front doo1
yard. d. .r.~J >..' =" g..
"Wbat's that?" says Captain Bob Shcr
ty. 49, .%. ''".. 3.
40, nothing" says the female Confsd
eracy, taking another bite Of hoe cake
, "1've only told one Of the servants to throw
some hot water on your reptile hirelings.' ,
4TA As Captain Bob Shorty turned to thank
her for her explanation and while his plate
was extended, to be helped, the aged chiv
airy fred pistol at him across the table
the ball just grazing his head and entering
tho wall behind him. i - ~..:
IT," By all that's blue r says Captain Boil
Shorty. excitedly, "now Ill be- an.
"Be calm, now be calm," says the con
servatiye Kentucky chap, hastily, "donl
l tell you that it's only natural for to-
good old soul to be littlo provoked?. /
you go to irritate him, We can never livs
knuefher as hrethern a,o7in ~