The Highland weekly news. [volume] (Hillsborough [Hillsboro], Highland County, Ohio) 1853-1886, 1862-09-18
A Foraging Party in Virginia
Kentucky Conservatism.

n nuMOfOuS writer IN tnO Now lOrk |
Sunday Mercury gives this amusing |
ILLUSTRATION Of conservatism A:
Upon quitting the Strawberry festi-
val | returned post.haste again to Paris,
where arrived just in time to start
with Capt. Bob Shortly and a company
from the Comic Section of the Mackerel
Brigade on a foraging expedition. We
went to look up few straw beds for the
feeding of the Anatomical Cavalry hor
ses, my boy, and the conservative Ken.
tucky chap went along to see that we
did not violate the Constitution nor the
rights of man.
"It's my opinion, cemrade," says Capt.
| Bob Shortly, as we started out, sits my
opinion, my Union ranger, that this
here unnatural war is getting worked
down very 6ne point, when we cant
go out for an armful of forage without
taking the Constitution along on an
ass" 81 think" says Capt, Bob Short
ly, "that the Constitution is as much
ont Of place here MS set Of fancy
harness would be in a drove of wild
buffaloes.
Can such be the case, my boy-can
such be the case? Then did our revolu.
tionary forefathers live in vain
Having moved along in gorgeous cav
alcade until about noon, we stopped at
the house of First Family of Virgiuia
who was just going to dinner Capt.
Bob Shortly ordered the Mackerels to
stack arms and draw canteeus in the
door yard, and then entered the domicl
and salutod the domestic mess meeting
= in the dining room.
3 I'VE come, sir" says Bob, address
, ing the venerable and high mi nd ed
chivalry, at the head Of the table, "to
ask you if you have any old straw beds
- that you don't want, that could be used
. for the cavalry of the United States of
America"
4 The chivaIry only paused long enough
to throw a couple Of pie plates at US
4 and then says he:
: "Are you accurscd aboltionists?"
The conservative Kentucky chap step
ped hastily forward, aud says he
"No, my dear sir, we are the conserv'
Il i've element" ..
The chivalry's venerable wife, who
was female Southern Confederacy
= .leuned back little in her chair, so that
= her little son could see to throw tea
cup at me- and says she:
"You amt Tribune reporters, be
your ... ...
" We are all nose aud no eyes. Quito
a feature in social intercourse, my boy
' The aged chivalry caused three fresh
chairs to be placsl at the table, and
y having failed to discharge the fOwing
piece which he had pointed at Capt.
Bob Shortly, by reason of dampness in
the cap he waved Us to seats, and says
@ he:
Q "Sit down, poor hirelings Of gor-
rilly despot, and learn what tits to
p taste the hospitality Of southern gen.
t tleman. You are Lincoln hordes, says
p the chivalry, shaking his white locks,
y 'Lnd have come to butcher the South
ern Confederacy; but the Southern gen.
tleman knows how to be cour )us to a
C vanda foe ....... ..E-.
Here the chivalry switched outs cane
l which he had concealed behind him,
and made at Captain Bob Shortly.
See here, says Bob Indignantly,
an be-"
"Hush!' says the conservative Ken
tucky chap, agitatedly, don't irritate
: the old patriarch, or the future amicable
RECONSTRUCTION Of the Union will be out
of the question, He is naturally a lit
tic provoked just nov" says the Ken
lucky chap, sOothingIy, "but we must
show him that We are his friends. "
We all sat down IN peace az the hos
pitable board, my boy, only few sweet
: potatoes and corn oobs being thrown by
the children, and found tho fare to be
in keeping with the situation of our dis
tracted country-l may say warfare.
! I'm consequence of'tho blockade of
tho Washington Ape" says the chival
ry, pleasantly, "wc only have ono
course, you sec; but even these last
years sweet potatoes must bo luxurious
= to mercennry mudsils accustomed to
husks. " ''f
i | had just reached out my plate, to be
: helped, my boy when there camc great
: noise from the Mackerels ia the front
, door yard.
"What's that?' says Captain Bob
Shortly.
30, nothing, says the female Cohied-
eracy, taking another bite Of hoecake
: live only told one of the servants ia
throw some hot water on your reptile