The weekly Butte record., 1862-11-29
The Draft in Bal6insville.
BY ARrENAS ARD.
II I'm drafted I shall resign.

Deeply grateful fer the unexpected honor
thus conferred upon ne. I shall feel compeld
to resign the position in favor Of some more
worthy person. Modesty is what ais me.
That's what kept NE under
l meanter say, shall hav to resign If I'm
drafted eyerywheTes I've bin inrold. must
now, furrinsuns, be inrod in upards of 200
different towns. II I'd kept on travelin' I
should have eventooally becum Brigade, in
which case l should hav held meetin' and
elected myself Brigaderginral quite unani-
miss. l hadn't no idea there was so many OF
me before. But. serisly, I concluded to stop
exhibitin and make tracks for Baldinsyille
Ny only daughter threw herself onto my
boos1m, and said, " Its me father l thank
the gods ~
She reads the Ledger.
Tip US yer bunch of fves. old faker - said
Artemas. jr. He reads the Clipper.
My wife was to a sowin' circle. l knew she
and the wiren folks was havin pleasant
time slanderin' the females of the other sowin
circle. (which likewise met that afternoon, and
was doubtless enjoying themselves ekally well
in slanderin' the fust-named circle,) an didn't
send for her. allus like to see people enjoy
themselves.
My son Orgustus was playin' onto foot.
Orgustus is ethereal cuss. The twins was
buildin cob houses in q corner of the kitchen
It'll cost some postage stamps to raise this
family, and yet it I'D go hard with the old man
to lose any lamb Of the flock.
My townsmen was sort o. demoralised-
There was evident design to ewade the draft,
as observed with sorrer, and patriotism was
below Par-and Mar. too. Jew desprit.
1 hadn't no sooner sot down on the piazzy of
the tavoen than saw sixteen solitary hossmen
ridin four abreast, wendin their way up the
street.
d" What's them? Is it cavalry ?"
That" said the landlord, " is the stage
Sixteen ablebodied citizens has lately bot the
stage line tween here and Scootsburg. That's
them. They're stagcdriyers Stage-drivers
is exemp."
l saw that each stage driver carried letter
in bis left hand
The mail IS heavy today" said the land
lord. Gin'raly they don't have MORN half
dozen letters tween EN-. To-day they've got
one apiecel Bile my lights and liver7
I" And the passengers ?"
There amt any sckacely now days said
the landlord, and what few there is, very
much prefer to walk, the roads is so ruff
"And how is't with you?' I inquired of
the editor of the Bugle Horn of Liberty, who
sot near me.
Il can't Co." he said, shakiu his head in
wise way Ordinarily I should like to wade
in gore, but my bleedn' country bids me stay
at home, 1t is imperativey necessary that I
remain here for the purpose of announcin from
week to week that our Gou'meat is about 10
take rigorous measures to put dorm the rejel-
hon."
I strolled into the village oyster saloon,
where found DR.. Schwazey, leadin' citizen,
in state of mind which showed that he'd bin
histin' in morn his share of pizen.
Hello, old Beeswax," he bellered how's
your grandmarm's? When you goin to feed
your stuffed animals -
What's the matter with the eminent ply
sician % asked pleasantly.
This" he said, " this is what's the matter.
I'm habitooal drunkard . I'm exempt -
" Jes' So"
pinted to plate before him. "Do you see
them?"
Il do. They are very cheerful fruit when
used tempritely."
Well" said he, Il han't eat any thing
since last week. | eat beabs now because l
eat beans then. l never mix my vettles -
Its quite proper you should eat little
suthin' once in a while" l said. " 1t is good
idee to instruct the stumack that it mustn't
depend exclusively on Ticker for sustanance."
A blessn'," he cried a blessin onto the
he'd of the man what invented beans. A
blessin' onto his head ~
Which his name is Gilson He's first
family of Bostin," said I.
This is q speciment Of how things was goin'
in my place Of residence.
4 few was true blue The schoolmaster
was among EN-. He greeted me warmly He
said l was welkim to those shores. He said I
had massive mind. 1t was gratifyin', he
said, to see that great intelleck stakin' in their
midst ouct more. l have de4 had occasion to
notice this schoolmaster. He is evidently q
young man of far more than ordinary talents
The schoolmaster proposed we should itup
q mass meetin'. The meetin' was largely at
tended. We held it in the open air, round
roarin' bonfire.
The schoolmaster was the first orator