, 1862-05-10
Irish Hospitality.

Inc IoloWlnS anecdote, though often pu0lsnedi
will bear it again. 1t is hibernian to the core:
During the American war of 1912, a soldier
who had been wounded, and honorably discharged
being destitute and benighted, knocked at the
door of an Irish farmer, when the following dia-
logue ensued
Soldier-My name is John Wilson.
Pat-And where the devil are you going from,
John Wilson?
S.-From the American army at Erie, sir.
P.-And what do you want hereP
S.-Will you permit me TO spread my blanket
on your floor and sleep tonight
P.-Divil take me if do.
Son your kitchen floor then?
P Not I, by the Hill o Howth.
SIN your stable then ?
Pm be hanged if III do that either.
Sim dying with hunger, give me bone and
crust | ask no more.
P-Divil blow me, if do, sir
S.-Give me some water to quench my thirst
beg of you.
P.-Beg and be hanged. I'll do no such thing
S.-Sir. have been fighting to secure the bless
ings you enjoy can you so inhospitably reject me
from your home
Reject YOU? who the devil talked word about
rejecting you? May be am not tie scurvy spa
peen YOU take ME to be, John Wilson. You ask
me to let you lie on the floor, my kitchen floor
or my stable now, by the powers, dye think I'd
let perfect stranger do that, when have doz
en- soft beds all empty ? No, by the Hill o. Howth
JOHN, that | won't. In the second place, you told
me you were dying with hunger, and wanted &
bone Or crust to eat now, honey, d'y ye think Td
feed hungry man on bones and crusts, when my
yard is full of fat puets and turkeys and pigs
No by the powers, that's fiat. In the third place
you ask for some simple water to quench youi
thirst now as my water is none of the best,
never give it to poor traveller without mixing il
with plenty of wine, or something else wholesome
or cooling. Come into my house. honey divi
blow me but you shall sleep in the best feather
bed have you shall have the best supper anc
breakfast that my farm affords, which, thank heav
en-, is none Of the worst; you shall drink as much
water as you choose, provided you mix it with
plenty of good wine, and provided, also, you pre-
fer it. Come in, my hearty, and feel yourself al
home. 1t shall never be said that Patrick O'Fla
herty treated man so scurvily, who has beer
fighting for the dear country that gave him free
room.
MODERN DEFINITIONS. -Oversight-To leave
your old umbrella in a new room and carry away
a new one.
Unfortunate Man-One born with conscience
Progress of Time-A pedar going through the
land with wooden clocks
Rigid Justice-A juror on murder case fas
asleep.
Inpependence-Owing fifty thousand dollars
which you never intend to pay.
Honesty-Almost obsolete; term formerly
used in the case of man who paid for his paper
Credit-A wise provision by which constable'
and sherifs get living.
Love-An ingredient used in romance and poetry
ReligiOn-Damnng your neighbor for not think
ms SA"Nh1 "S yOu w.
A DEsTR UCTIvE INDIvIDUAL-The following
toast was lately given: Dam your canals, bias
your furnaces, sink your coalpits down with YOU
railroads, away with your electric telegraphs, anc
over with your suspension bridges.
SOMEBODY says devil is mean word any
way it may be written. Remove the d and it i
&" evil, )" remove the and it is vile" remove The
and it is ILL.," remove the 1, and remains
which has the aspirate sound of "hell."
AT recent festive meeting married man
who ought to have known better, proposed th'
" Ladies' as the beings who divide our sor
rows, double cur joys, and treble our expenses"
PLUTARCH observes, that out of three of tht
best things, three of the worst arise. From truth
hatred from familiarity, contempt; from happi
ness, envy.
If a cat had wings, no bird would be left in The
air. If every one had what he is wishing, who
would have anythingP
EVERY one has-a,romance in his own heart al
that has blessed or awed the world lies there.