New Orleans daily crescent. [volume] ([New Orleans, La.]) 1851-1866, 1862-05-12
NUMBER SO.
Bertha soule's Love or, How Came by My
~ Ring.
BE FRANCIS .FrLLEg BaRR1Tr.

! goth, 1s5-. Such vas the brief memorandt1rn
which, CHANGING to ina on my ivory tablet more
vivid recollection of the incidents of that day and
caused me to regard the ring On my left hand with
a revived interest; and this is hestory of both
Undertaking to make late voyags from Council
Bluffs to st. Louis, on the 10Th of November, we
found our good steamer obstructed in hen passage
| by a bridge OF ice, extending from shore to sand
bar, from bar to bar, and from sandbar to shore
again, leaving two channels, which the low state
of the river made of doubtful safety the outside
of the principal bars. Through one Of these the
water, pressed in strong current by the ice on
| either side, went rushing like" cataract, and
through this passage, with considerable difficulty,
/ the steamer made safe run but when below the
| bridge, among the broken ice, it was discovered
that we had come by the wrong channel. and
| should go aground presently where we were.
| Then commenced an effort, on the part of our
worthy boat and her excellent officers, to get back
up the channel we had just come down, to try the
| other, as there was imminent danger of being
| frozen in If the weather continued cold. All day
of the 10Th, the boat backed and forwarded like
| couple in cotion, in her endeavors to make
headway against the powerful current damned up
in that narrow passage, but all to no purpose.
Our gallant captain, with an unruff1ed brow, stood
hour after hour on deck, giving orders for new
efforts this<Vay and that; but when night closed
| and the weather still bitterly cold. During the
night nothing could be done, and on the morning
| of the Goth there were about fifteen tons of ice
frozen to the sides and bottom of the steamer still
|
Weared patience the officers kept at their several
posts, moving the now unwieldy boat little by
litte-now against one bar, then against the oppo-
site one, knocking off great cakes Of ice of toms
weight at time-until at last we were once more
free Of this hinderance. warmer temperature
setting in about IL O'clock with fall of rain,
softened the crystal bridge that steamer drove
| into it, widening the channel and lessening the
| current until at last we had hopes of soon re-
tracing our course in search of the true passage.
Already we had been several days on the voy-
nrl nnfd nF rIyra f~nv, al
were becoming monotonous. The passengers, of
whom there were great number, had read, and
sung, and danced, and played, and told stories,
! until weary of themselves and one another. Among
the most patient and agreeable of these was lady
recolected meeting on a former voyage, year
and half before, when she had interested me
very much by her beauty and sweetness OF the
former, indeed, thought she possessed an almost
supernatural share; and nothing but look of
mental pain and languor in her face marred its ex-
traordinary perfection. Wherever she moved she
were her manners, that she seemed unconscious
Of her wonderful attractiveness. This lady and
myself had conversed much on the former voyage,
well as on this, and began to entertain for one
particular morning, had noticed more than an
ordinary appearance of suffering about her, and
attributing it partly to WEAKNESS, | made some
c9nsoling remark about our Frightening Prospects
| "1t does not concern me very greatly replied
Miss Soule, " all places are much alike to me-"
81 might be pardoned for saying that seems a
strange confession to come from you," I said, in
real curiosity about the mysterious character of
her melancholy.
"When first met you," continued Miss soule,
81 felt an impulse to tell you my history, which i
wise and disagreeable; but to day nave resolved
with your consent to make you my coDfidant, al
the risk of losing your esteem. Shall I com
| mence?
"Ym could not confer greater pleasure, 1
replied sincerely, ''since have often wished to
know it."
Making room for ne on the tete aiete, she
began:
II shall be extraordinarily frank with you, and
confess that once well knew that was beautiful.
far more than beautitu--that l was irresistingly,
fascinating. Yet was not vain; there was SOL
emn consciousness in me of the Responsibility of a
l soul holding the lease of such tenement as was
this faultless body Of mine. Men praised me with
love on their lips and longing in their eyes they
and made heroes by my half unconscious smiles.
| Women looked on me with envous sadness in their
faces, and sighed while they caressed me, until |
felt that they were pierced with misery at my in
. me happily; full of the innocence of angels, they
; recognized in my beauty something familiar
something they had not yet forgotten, having been
f in heaven.
t'I was not vain but took delight in my owl
perfections. l gazed by hours at the reflection il
! my mirror, rnurmnrng inwardy all touching con
ceits Of poets inspired by woman's beauty; not in
Y self.adalation, but as being impressed with the
feeling of their passion. looked upon myself as
q marvel-a chance success of Nature t reeo
e eeted that all greatly gifted persons have re-
cdmpense to pay, and often mused on my yet un
seen destiny if not to fail of her great desigr
in any particular, Nature had formed me for, and
God had ordained me as poet. | was not to be
the mere occasion of feelings or thoughts could
. "No one would question my happiness. Al
unhappiness is direct result OF imperfect devel
opment: the harmony of my being was absolute
Not even of my situation in the world could
reSnantahlp m
. family rich and honorable thus was in ever.
u way removed from causes of discomfort. My onl.
apology for sorrow, had it been possible for me tt
be melancholy by habit was in the fact that was
, an orphan. But never having known the love o
J parents, the tender care of my guardian, who was
also my uncle, and the affection of all my relatives
u lett me nothing to desire from an unknown love.
}, "TAus, may say, that at the age of nineteen, t(
all intents and purposes, as far aslw concerned
; lived in Paradise.
: "a little cloud, no bigger than a mans hand,
about this time appeared my horizon. Tht
number of times that men had brought their love It
y lay it at my feet began to trouble my serene atmos
y phere Hitherto had been pleased been thrilled
y had my Imagination excited, and received it all al
Il natural tribute to a perfection of beauty AM
!, sweetness of temper which l had heard posses
u sed, until the words fell meaningless my ears
But this ofrepeated story OF love began, at last
70 excite other emotions than those poetical one
Il inspired by the consciousness Of being worthy o
= owning this love. l began slowly to comprehen
- = something more than the poetry Of passion be
+ | feeling of guilt at times tormented me, for beini
. the cause, however unintentonally, of 30 muc
q pain to others. As l grew older, and read an
J, observed more, l knew why women looked sad
d d upon me, and some enviously. 1t was because
y absorbed in my being much of the devotio
}. which others, less favored, were langushing t
If receive. Their looks reproached me, and l fel
g unworthy their genteness and forbearance. l
,; society, into which the circumstances of my sta
d ton and my natural gayety of temper brought me
J. | began to feel disturbed, as if some one wishe
me away. When men approached me with car
dor that made me forget my uneasiness, and dre'
It me on to be playful and self Possessed, and wa
n afterwards startled to perceive their glowing coul
d tenances and impressive manner, or to hear som
Vt unexpected word of more than admiration, WI
l. tempted to forswear all gayety, and never mol
n smile among men.
"Nor was this the only effect of my p0wer t
+ make others wretched as was myself atura,
J. happy. began now to ask myself seriously, Wh
3 l had never suffered from love, api its accompany
n ing passions of envy and jealeasy. w, was my con
"a stitution perfect, my passions so Well palaceo
e that no one of them, not even Ie grdnd pdss!oh
should ever move mo from my hab1tual serenity
L. Like the serpent into Eden this inquiry entere
into nv mind. Penceforward, my capacity to Low
y became to me- perpetual study. 1t gave me ir
stead of tho soft compassion had felt for thos
- nnhapDy men whose worship l was forced to at