Daily Democrat and news. [volume] (Davenport, Iowa) 1859-1864, 1862-05-22

Pall Asnsnsag, Pan Admirably.
us ~ ss~P,hl
q PacbAl 3 Icnso bLooYs.
Vlssd Mra smsetose{| 81 Newcastle
upsa.1 -, kvsse1 I'D lsrddlnee that
will ksock any chip 70 pieces. He y
-hni9htod md the.A Admiralty y bsai6AS-'
Cd. TN,
1851. The Ax.iislsy rseovsrs, ssd
inyspis iron ships hat sesist any ksova4
c0pnon balls.
1863. 6irsWil|jan Aynstspng i9ssnia
. quo that s6l3ket ,hesiso9- 16ibs isto
blscksmitheresns. The Admiralty col.
Elanmnn s.s~s ass ssss - " -
n 1863. The AdniEalsyse s1psplSand
'isvents platios h.ps fastened with diar
mond sesmsst, end Sir WiloiamasAs0
stsong's balls A. to pieces like bon-bons.
Mr.. Gla1stens aonblss the income
tex.szf III a:Ar sog aio0 easasol e 49,
1864, Sir William Armstseag INVESTS
hrasen tbuoderboits'( suppessd to.Ss tie
original Jupiters) and in . plsasisgex
pertinent sends The greater part of the
British feet 70 the bostem Of the sea.
1865. The Admiralty invests 4 tor.
pedo vessel which ssils under watef and
below any range Of Guns. Sir William
Armstrong tears his hair and swears in
he Newcastle dialect.
1869. 81. William Armstrong invsnts
. vertical gan that discharges Greek
fire straight down, and : second time
be destroys greater part Of the Bsieish
6eet. The Lords Of the Admiralty are
about to hang themselves, when .
thought strikes them, and they don't.
Nj. Gladstone again Doubles the in.
come tax.
1867. DR.. Cumming; who has for
some weeks been having in his coals By
The sack only, suddenly proclaims the
millennium. Az there 10 now to be
peace every where, the Admiralty doe
DOT invent any thing, bat wsies to zee. .
In order to test Dr.. Commiogs' 70.
racity, and to fnd out whether lions
~iil i,e down with kids, the Geological
Society, (against the advice other ex
sellent Secretary. Nj. Sclater,) let loose
their biggest lion while : charity school
10 10 the Gardens. As the lion, iastead
oflying down With . kid, only lice down
to digest .him, the Admiralty thinks
there j. some mistake some~here, and
determines to invent new feet.
Mr.. Gladstone once more doubles the
income tax.
1868. The Admiralty invents stone
feet, With cork keels, and defies Sir
| William Armstrong
1889. Sir William Armstrong invepts
the HapnibaI, or Alp shell, which con.
tAins the strongest vinegar, and msl,s
the stone ships. Having for the third
time destroyed the British feet, be is
raised TO the peersge a. Lord Bomb.
1870. The Admiralty invents an aeri.
al feet, which sails in the clouds, ont Of
shot range, and the frst Lord takes q
double sight at Sir William Armstrong.
Mr.. Gladstone fourth time doubles
the income tar.
1871. Lord Bomb iuyents . balloon
battering train, and 10 40 experimental
discharge, bring. down all the British
fleet into tt . German Ocean.
! 1872. The Admiralty, 10 desperation,
iuveuts q subterrancau feet, which il ia
be conveyed BY tunnel, to all the colo.
oies but Ir. Gladstone blaudly sug-
| gests that every body now pays twice
his income 10 taxes, the people may OBJ.
ject to further impusts unless some proof
Of economy il given. ID
| Government therefore stop the pen
sions of = hundred superanuated cIerks
discharge some extra night porters a,
the Treasury, and bring in. estimatsa fol
the subterranean feet.
! 1879. Lord Bomb inveuts hia ".
phnoDs, OF earthquake shells, and suf
locates the British feet in the Tssmanis
/ Tunnel. sN tehl
Mr.. Gladstone fifth time doubles the
income tax. g Il ). ..
1874. The Emperor of the French
pr claims the Millennium, which, Of
course, Immediately occurs, no more
war ships are wanted, and the collect.
ors remit the quarter's income tax no,
yet due. Lord Bomb invents his vol
cano FIRE works 10 honor Of the coca;
sion, and by some accident burns uF
the public. u q q Is
Arrest of the SAILING. Master Of the Mar,