The Weekly Perrysburg journal. [volume] (Perrysburg, O. [Ohio]) 1861-1???, 1862-01-02

4
And shall tell him "rve ceased to love ?"
No. That would not do, for never did
love him. think will tell Aunt Per-
haps she can.tell me what to do. know
Just how she will smooth my hair aud look
so rcproachfully from those dear brown
eyes so like my own dear mother, who is
now sleeping in Rilgeton grave yard, and
then sit dumb aud still, as though she could
never believe that /, Laurie Clarke, could
be so hcartless-she, who thought was
all truth, all honesty, be so deceived Q
And then, too, she knows Paul Emmons,
and thinks he is model young man. Oh
dear oh, dear I'm so miserable wish
had never come west; perhaps, then,
would have proved true to the vows utter
ed to you Paul If he only knew all, how
quick would he release Inc, let it cost him
what it would
August 10th. Saturday evening Mr.. Hill
ton came tony school and took me to Dar-
lingville home---to aunt's. WAS very glad
to SEQ his beautiful span Of bays, and car
riage drive up for it had been two weeks
since l had been home, and TO tell the truth,
| Twas little bit homesick; and last Satur-
day evening, sitting on the little south porch
with my head resting in Auntie's lap, told
her ALL She listened, never saying one word
until had finished, and then she talked 30
good, telling me | must never marry one |
could not love, and then she said it was sad to
know that her little Laurie could trife with
true, noble heart, darken one life, destroy
ones golden hopes. For she knew that
Paul was one who would never love but
once. ALL the binding tears would come
then the bitter tears, and lifting my head l
said, 81 will marry Paul Emmons and he
shall never know but what love him."
No, no, Laurie, that would be sin before
God, you must write to him, telling him the
whole truth" Aud have resolved now to
write, and then he can do as he thinks best
Oh, never will be so wicked again, never,
never!
letter, and received in reply good, kind let
ter, releasing me from my engagement, but
so sad, ard hcart-broken. Oh Paul Elm.
mon y is true, whole-souled man, but one
who was never fitted to ill my soul with
the great anthem of love. In writing he
says: Laurie you was my guiding star,
my idol | see now that | forgot all which
should have been uppermost in my heart
and fell down and worshipped at your feet
Life seems dark without your presence. |
have nothing to live for now, my hopes are
all blighted. never thought but that you
| loved as wildly as !, never dreamed my
cherished one would be auothers. But
God helping me, will try and come out
from this great shadow and live for some
thing more than this world can bestow
You ask me to forget. Forget, when my
| thoughts We're all of You? Forget, when
| have been looking forward to the time one
year from the day we parted when l should
fold you in my arms and whisper the words
my wife?" Oh, Laurie you little know
the hopes that have cherished, tits folly to
say forget to me.
will send your letters by the next mail
but the picture must retain for few short
days, | was not prepared to give up all.
must take one more look at that; look into
those deep brown eyes | thought beaming
with love for me- Did you know, Laurie,
you look in this picture as you did thateve-
ming when | asked you the question on
which depended my happiness? And you,
laying your hand in mine and resting your
mead upon my shoulder, said, Paul will be
yours Oh, that was the happiest moment of
my life. A joy filled my heart then, which
it can never know again never, never!
Laurie you know you are free. | have no
need to write it here. | will pray for hcav-
ems choicest blessings to surround your life
path, and if you ever give your hand at the
altar may it be to one who is all that he
should be to you. May Gods blessings al
ways attend you"
October 10th. have not written one
word in my diary since received that let
ter from Paul which told me was free !
am, or at least ought to be, happy, very
happy, crowned by his great love. Oh, but
a sad pale face will como up between me and
my great happiness, till cry, "Paul, Paul,
why did you love me, l. so unworthy of your
love! Oh, why did we ever meet" will
try aud write here what is written in my
heart making low sweet melody, until say,
happy, oh, so happy" 1t is just two
weeks ago this Wednesday evening, my
school had closed one week before, and |
was sitting out on the little south porch
with the bright moonlight coming III be-
tween the hop-vine leaves that were par
TALLY fallen, making such strange varying
shadows at my feet. 1t was very warm
evening for the season Of the year; and,
fearing we should have very few as pleas
ant, was fully prepared to enjoy tho pres
ent was very busy thinking, when upon
looking up, beheld, Clyde Hilton. 81 am
glad to sec You Mr.. Hilton, Aunt and Uncle
have gono to M, and was feeling quite
lonesome, please be seated" placing chair
for him which he took and placed directly
in front of mine, saying, II would rather
sit here Miss Laurie" in his peculiar abrupt
manner. For the first time felt embarras
sed in his presence, and he continued, 81
am glad to find you alone this evening. /