Pomeroy weekly telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy, Meigs County, Ohio) 1860-1866, 1862-06-20
Correspondence of the n. Y. Sunday Mereur,
Women and the War.
BY oRPHEUs C. KERR.


There's chap in the Mackeral Brig
ade who got very melancholy one day
after receiving letter from home
wherein he was afectionately called s.a
!, unnatural and vicious ereeter, = fos<no.
1sending his better haifa new dress and
some hair pins. Seeing his afaictior
and diyining the cause, another Mack
erel stepped up to him, and says he:
''Is it the old women which is On q
tare?"
The married chap groaned, and says
he:
"She's mad as a hornet. l do be
lieve, says the married chap turning
very pale, s'that she'll take away my
night key, and teach my babes to call
me the Old File"
"We!l, says the comforting Mack
erel, then why did you get married.
Why didn't you stay a single bochelor
like me, and enjoy the pursuit of hap
piness in the Fire Department
sHappiness!' says the married chap,
why, it was expressly to enjoy happi-
ness that welded. Step this way
says the married chap, with horrible
tsmile, leading his consoler aside, stain t
the women of America mortal2"
Yes" says the Mackerel, thought
fully.
"And don't they die?''
eyes says the Mackerel. "That is
to say" added the Mackerel, contempla-
lively, "they sometimes die when there =
new and expressive tombstones in fash :
ion
Peter Perkins" says the married
ebay, with smile Of wild bliss 81
wouldn't miss the happiness 1 shall feel
when my angel returns to her native
heyings, for the sake of being twenty
bachelors No." says the married chap,
clutching his bosom, ave lived on the
thought of that air bliss ever since the
morning my female partner threw my
box of long skies out, of the window,
and brought the police because l
brought valuable tarrier home with
me" Here the married chap un-
corked his canteen, and eyed it win
speechless sury.
Tears came to the eyes of the unwo-
mantle Mackerel; he extended his hand,
aud, says he:
| ssSa5 no more, Bobby-saysno more.
IF you amt got the eorreck idea of
Heaven, there's no such place on the
map"
| I give you this touching conversation
between two of natures noblemen, my
boy, that you may apprecia .e that beau
tiful dispensation of Provide which
endows wo man with the sligter faiiings
of humanity, yet gives her the power to
/ brighten the mind of inferior man with
glorious visions beyond the grave.
Ny arm has been strengthened in this
war, my boy, by the inspiration of wo-
mans courage, and aided by her mirac-
ulous foresight. &uly yesterday, a fair
fully sent me a box containing tive
gross Of assorted fish hooks, three cook
books, one dozen of Tubbse's best spool
cotton, three door plates, package of
patent geranium roots, two yards of
Brussell's carpet, Rumford's illustrated
work on Perpetual Intoxicatiou, ten
bottles Of furniture polish, and some
wall paper. Accompanying these ar
ticles SO valuable to soldier on the
march, was note, in which the kind
hearted girl said that the things were
intended for our sick and wounded
troops, and were the voluntary tributes
of loyal aud dreamy-souled woman
tried dose of the furniture polish,
my boy, on chap that had the measles.
Is M ,falf h it-c fa
since, that coroner's jury will sit Oh
him tomorrow.
The remainder of this susceptible
young creatures note, my boy, was cal
fculated to move heart of stone She
asked if it hurt much to be killed, and
said she should think the President
might sue JEFF. Davis, or commit habeas
corpus or some other ride ulous thing,
to stop this dreadful, spirit agonizing
war. She said that her deepest heart
throbs and dream yearnings were for the
crimson consecrated Union, and that
she had lavished her most narrowing
hope-eobs for its heaven triumph. She
said that she had friend named Smith,
in the army, and wished | could find
him out, and ,ell him that the human
heart, though repining at the absence
of the beloved object, may be coldly
proud as scornful statue to the
stranger eye, but pines like soul
murdered water-lily on the lovely stream
Of its twilight brooding contemplations.
Anxious to oblige her, my boy, +
asked the General Of the Mackerel
Brigade if he knew q soldier of the
name of Smith.
The General thought awhile, and says
he: j
"Not one. There are many of the
n,me Of Sa NTH, says the General,
screening his eyes from the sun with a
bottle, ''and the Smythes are numerous,
but the Smiths all died as soon as the
Prince OF Wales came to this country
This is an age of great aristocrisy, my
boy, and the name Of Smith is confined
to tombstones | once knew chap
named Hobbs, who made knobs, and had
partner named Dobbs; and he never
could get married until he changed his
title; for what sensitive and delicatsly
nerved female would marry man whose
business card read, Try Hobbs Il Dobbs'
Knobs?" Finally, he called himself
De Hobbs and welded a Miss Podger-
pronounced Po-gshay. After that, be
cut his partner, ordered his friends 20
cease calling him Jack, and IN compI;-
ance With the wishes Of his wife's fam
lily, got out business card like this
jacques De Hobbs, try his Door pcr-
suaders.'
E,1L II rsinr1r To th4s 1.oi,aer, If 4 nner.