, 1862-07-10


men, give your verdict for the Plaintiff"
Alter this eloquent effusiOn the counsel for the
Defendant rose to reply. at is with the great
est diffidence, gentlemen Of the jury, that rise
to make few plain, unvaTnished remarks, after
the burst of eloqueDce to which you have just
listened. But It seems very evident to me, that
the learned counsel for the prosecutor has re-
lied more on his own ingenuity and Imagination,
than upon the law and real merits Of the case.
He commenced his address with high, and, !
have no doubt just eulogium upon that organ Of
which il has been the misfortune Of the Deten-
dant to be deprived. God forbid that should
stand up before twelve intelligent men to detract
one jOt or title from the importance Of noses. ]
agree with him In the wisdom which has con.
strueted man so as to follow his nose, and yet !
would remind him Of the folly Of thrusting his
nose into other mems faces, much more into their
mouths But when, after discussing the qualities
Of noses In general. be fastens upon Deacon
Drones nose In particular, and discovers In that
something so very remarkable as to render any
injury to It an act Of extra criminality, my duty
to my client, my duty to my country, demands
that inquire whether he is supported by law
or reason. Why, gentlemen, the counsel has
seemed to think that almost every power and
faculty, physical and mental, appertaining to
the Plaintiff, resided in his nose. Now Il this
be true, should say that the nose, being 50
much the more important part, bad lost Deacon
Drone, instead Of Deacon Drone the nose the
greater had lost the less. OF course, then, this
action should have been brought by the nose,
and Deacon Drone in the present case should be
nonsuited.
But the counsel has said that the Plaintiff has
been deprived Of the pleasure Of taking snuG
Gentlemen, this Is clearly non sequitur. Has
any evidence been offered 10 prove that he has
lost the sense Of smelling, because he has lost
the external organ used for that purpose? Tue,
he says that such is the case, but the law Is
nemini in suaco usa testare licet" l confess,
too, that in that case Of Razor vs. CleaVeF, such
was admitted to be the case. But does Il prove
because one man who had lost bis nose, lost also
the sense Of smell, that in every other instance
such should be the consequence Some with
their noses on have been deprived Of that sense,
and does It therefore follow that all who have
noses are without the sense Of smelling? Far
from II. ! y . 3 .i.s,,... z -. 2.
But, gentlemen, the circumstance upon which
the learned counsel mainly relied was that the
Plaintiff would be subjected 20 inconyenience In
getting a.Nile He ID : I|id that for city years
the Plaintiff had been eItaged in this pursuit
with his nose fast to his Ihee, and had not sue
ceeded, and yet would have you throw 10 the
value Of wife to swell the damages in this case.
Gentlemen, there Is many q man who would
willingly part with his nose TO get rid Of bis
wife, and there Is many q man that has parted
with portion Of It by the helpof his wife with
out the benefit Of any. such radiance. Il may
then be question, whether the absence Of the
Plaintiffs nose having the alleged effect is 4
benefit or injury, loss or gain. But admitting
wife to be as desirable an object as the counsel
has affected to suppose, II seems to me that he
has entirely mistaken the spirit Of the age, and
particularly Of the women Of the age, in sup
posing the loss Of Q nose such an insupeTabe
obstacle. II Is the very acme Of On exquisite's
wishes to appear as unlike other men as possible.
A man who has something outandish and eccen-
trio In look manner, or dress, Is far more likely
to attract the eve Of q modern fashionable wo-
man, than one Of the undistnguishable many"
What is fashion but an eternal struggle Of one
class Of men TO get out Of the common modes OF
looking AID acting and Of another class to fol-
low them upP There is not q weightier objec-
ton to q thing among women, than that il is com
mon. And what, would ask, Is more common
than nosesI And Il must be a comfortable re-
fiection to the Plaintiff, that the further any &C
centricity recedes from nature, the better. In
stead Of following nature, the whole art OF fash
ion consists in distOrtng the native proportions.
Why, then, should not man without nose be
Just the thing for these disiointed times2 and
with h'this advantage, that on account Of the pain
attending an initiation into the fashion, the igno
bile vulgus would be slow to embrace Il. We
even 60 farther, and contend that in the event Of
matrimony the Plaintiff has decided advantage
over others. We that have been introduced to
the mysteries Of the married state need not be
told Of the formidable weapons that women wield,
nor of the point which they always attack
Could our noses speak, they could tell Of more
single combats in one year than the records Of
dueling between man and man could furnish
since the time when Cain killed Abel. He, then,
who enters into matrimoDy without q nose, does
1t with the consoling reflection that the nose
which he has lost has escaped many scratch
and himself much pain. But, finally, gentlemen,
to give the learned counsel the full benefit Of bis
Arguments we will admit for a moment that
nose is essential TO manly beauty, and, consc-
quently, to success in obtaining WIFE, Is the
counsel so ignorant Of the perfection to which
surgery has advanced, as not to know that arti-
6cial noses Of any size, shape, and beauty can
be neatly fitted to the face? And that the PLAIN
III, whose nose was none Of the best Is now 10
q situation to make himself q better-looking man
than he ever was before and that, too, without
tho fear Of injury from the nails Of bis yoke
fellow. So, gentlemen, Ia any view Of the case,
IN which ain able to see Il, Deacon Drone has
been the gamer, and instead Of receiving DANA
ges for his loss Of bis old nose, should be made
to pay q reasonable sum to the Defendant for
his trouble in putting him in the way Of getting
4 new one."
Amer the jury had remained two days and
nights in deciding upon this important case, they
brought in q verdict for the Plaintiff for such an
amount as should be required TO furnish Deacon
Drone with new nose, the material TO be wax,
or some other elastic substance