Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1862-10-04
Fact, Fancy and Fun.

The proper arms for rebel prl.
vateersmen-yard arms.
forgiveness is the odor which
flowers yield when trampled upon.
What fruit does a newly married
couple resemble? a green pear.
Marriage is like money-seems to
want it, and you don't get 1t.
-Religion-the key in this world to
let us into the next. .faU
Many dread being i'll who are very
willing their lives would be so.
Stones and idle words sre things
not to be thrown at random.
None talk so loudly of benevolencs
as those who subslst Oil it. .E-..
Simple flowers may be shelter for
Can any one define the exact width
of narrow escape.
-Sweetening ones coffe e is gener-
ally the first stirring event Of the day.
Some fellows never pay debt, ex-
cept when they owe grudge.
An eloquent speaker is like river
greatest at the mouth.
-Duelists must have their seconds,
and widows are entitled to their thirds.
Always laugh when you can-itis
a cheap medicine.
Put good face upon everything,
unless you are so ugly that you can't.
One who is half man, half dog, will
bow to the rich, and bow-wow to tie
poor.
when does man die for his love?
When he turns lis red whiskers brown.
Peace can do a good deal toward
making gentleman, but war is more
likely to finish him.
TO terminate 4 lawsuit spec Oily is
the best thing to never have COM
menced it. .-..f .".- :
"A talkative man neither hears nor
is heard. He won't listen to others,
nor they to him. ..:....
Revenge is fever in ones blood,
generally to be cured only by letting
the blood of another. ln'#
We have generally much stron-
ger curiosity to know wnat is said, than
to know what is true. .r
Men are generally like wagons;
they rattle prodigiously when there is
nothing in them.
"A Corkonian, on being asked at
breakfast how he came by ''that black
eye" said he slept on his fist.
Peace is the goal upon which our
souls are fixed, but the only path to it
is through the blood and flame Of war.
-"SaIly, what time do your folks
dine? ?" "Soon as yougo away, Missus's
says" ..Fe ... r..
Don't carry your antipathy to roy
atty SO far as to break the crown Of
your head. ......
-"What's the use of an eclipse ?"
ooh, it gives the sun time for rehec-
tor.
The most precious things now in
closed in hoops are girls and kegs Of
whiskey.
An editor says the only reason
why his house was not blown away
during the late gale, was because there
was heavy mortgage upon it. '1
"A good many chairman at public
don't know how to put qucs-
ton Young ladies think it should be
popped.
The women must think that we
men are great robbers we are all the
while going abou: robbing them of
their very names.
Children don't often consult the
will of the father; his only will that
they are apt to care much about is his
last.
cit is very CURIOUS" said an old
gentleman to his friend, s'that watch
should be perfectly dry when it has a
running spring inside" ..., s.y
The Grenada Appeal enumerates
Vallandingham and Ben. Wood as
the "friends of the South
The appeal is right.
A farmer named Deardorf, Of
Elkhorn county, Indiana, hanged him
himself because a reaper he had bought
did not suit him.
-"You are writing my bill on very
rough paper" said cliant to his at
tornev. "Never mind" said the law
yer, sit has to be fled before it comes
into conrt." - afa