The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1862-04-02
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
PARTY is the madness of many for th
gain of a few.

1T is often nobler work TO conquer a
doubt than redoubt.
MARRIAGE used to be matrimony, but
now it is a matter-o' money.
He who can conceal his joys is greater
than he who can hide his griefs.
l SEE through it." as the washer-wo-
man said when the bottom of the tub
fell out
FRIENDSHIP is the shadow of the even
ing, which strengthens with the setting
sun of life.
MILLINERs' bills are the tax which the
male sex has to pay for the beauty of the
female.
PEACE is the evening star of the soul,
rs virtue is its sun; and the two are nev-
er far apart.
THE firmest friendships are formed in
adversely, just as iron is welded in the
fercest flames.
SOME bachelors go to war because they
like fighting; and some married men be-
cause they want peace.
AS thorns are to the rose, so are pins
to a lovely woman. A female in full
dress is never unprotected.
VALUE the friendship of him who
stands by you in the storm; swarms Of
insects will surround you in the sunshine.
The editor of a western paper recently
fancied himself " live OK" but since our
rough handling of him, he is beginning to
conclude that he is only jerked beef.
SWIFT proposed to put tax on female
beauty, and to leave every lady to rate
her own charms. He said the tax would
be cheerfully paid, and be very productive.
A MAN about town observed on the
morning after debauch, Had Leander
practiced swimming with half the perse-
verauce of my head, he'd never have been
drowned"
THE man who PLAYS at once on the
trump of fame and the horn of diem
ma, got his first ideas of music on hear
ing haycock crow, while he was tieing n
cord of wood.
A YANKEE has just discovered a plan
for making ships of lndia.rubber, but Con-
gress discountenances the scheme, because
they are afraid that such ships, in cross
ing the line, would rub it out.
SUPPOSE the captain of canal boat
orders the mate to scud for port under
bare poles, how should he perform the OPP
Grafton! Take reef in the whiffle-tree,
let 90 both horses, and cub-haul the hen
coop.
A coQUETTE is young lady Of more
beauty than sense; more accomplishments
than learning; more charms of person
than graces of mind; more admirers than
friends; more fools than wise men for at
tendants.
TOMMY says that it is bad meddling
with a train of gunpowder; but if you
want to be blown up to dead certain
ty, just tread on lady's crinolne as you
are getting into an omnibus. He has tried
it and knows.
"SHAKsPEARE haunts me night and
day." said stage strutting "hero." -
"That he is SO eternally haunted" said
a bystander, is not to be wondered al
all, for he most cruelty murdered him in
everything he has undertaken"
A WAR correspondent out West writes,
did you ever have the 'yaller janders 2
I've got few, and could spare m assort-
ed stock to a small dealer. Better get
some, for dime looks like quarter ca
gle, which is pleasant delusion."
A YANKEE editor remarked, in po.
lemical article, that though he would not
call his opponent liar, he must say, that
if the gentleman had intended to state
what was utterly false, he had been re-
markably successful in his attempt.
The New Hampshire editor who wrote
his editorials with chalk on the solcs OF
his shoes, and went barefoot while the
boys set up the copy, has purchased a
ream of secondhand envelopes, and en-
gagged girl to turn them inside out.
AMONG the curiosities at the Worlds
Fair will be pond of ice-punch. It's COM
ponent parts are TO consist of river Of
brandy, an iceberg from Greenland, two
hills Of sugar, and an orchard of lemons.
1t is to be stirred up with the North Pole,
and ladled out with dredging machine.
THE manufacturers of hooped skirts,
in Philadelphia, have appointed COM
mttee to go to Washington and remon-
strate with the government against the
heavy tax to be imposed upon them
The manufacture Of hooped skirts is car
ried on extensively in that city, and the
ladies threaten that if they have got to
have their skirts raised they won't wear
them.