Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1862-10-04

/ "That's quite right, / SAID. Don't let the
horses drink there for dsy or two. Your con
duct, Yawcub, plsases ms. So yea put the vile
secessionists into the drink, did you, YGwcub g'
and Iarfed at the idee. as
| 'Yaw," he said, Il butts dem sll in, Dsy
/ schqueal ike ter tamlp
The door here opened, and Mr.. Skimpins, the
village lawyer, entered.
How are you, Sldmpins ~ | said risin' to
greet him.
He was a pieter to behold His hat was of
his hair looked like a parcel OF drowndid rats
and his garments was soakin' wet
why, bless me, Skimpins' I'm afesrded
you're wet %
"Oh YOU are. are you 2" he replied; well
perhaps am leetle moist. Your big Dutch
man there has been throwin' US into the lake
pretty lively this evenin He said it was your
orders to duck ali seceshers; and on my tellin
him was Union man, he said that wouldn't
save me 'onless l took the oath OF allegiance in
Dutch - ra
d He has fine appreciation of American hu-
NOR " said the editor of the BggIe
g You've carried this leete too far, my forrin
friend, said l, 'and must supersede you,
altho may give you mouutin department.. Il
you shouldn't happen to like a mountin depar +
ment, you can retire TO Gloucester, Massachu-
setts Ii is necessary" l said 4" TO put the foot
q
views as fast as they appear to be true views,
What do about things 1 do it about 'ein, and
what doR't do don't DO it, not much, don't.
My wife don't, either"
What's the matter with the old fool " in
quired Betsey, lsyin down her knittin work and
comm to me
The giant intellect wanders'" murmured
the schoOlmaster.
Perhaps" said Mr.. skimpins, who was
ringin the water out of his coattails, perhaps
ms suthen with sugar into it.'
Neither" said l. My mind is clear I'm
loocid. I'm honest Old Art And III tell you
a little story. When lived d-'
"Ha cried the editor Of the BpgLe-''a a dis
patch dispatch!" and he tore psper from
the telegraph boy, who stood in the doorway.
{" It's from Washington. Washington is safe ~
:" It mUst be safe" 1 said. -" don't care
whether there's a gun in Washngt or not
Let all the men we've been sending there for
the past year and half just lay down on the
outsquirts of the town, and It win take the en-
tire rebel army six months to climb over them
Yes, think Washington is safe.'
"The affairs of the nation" said the school
master, are conducted with signal brilliance."
WhichuneeP' / asked.
F" BriHiance, Sr--brilhaneer'
" You speak skarcasticly !' said L
" do. Why don't the gov ment use the
negroes. Why not make 'em useful In every
possible way The rebels make en- shoot at
us-why shouldnt We teach EN- to slaOO- at the
rebels Admittin', for Arguments sake, that
negroes isn't superior to horses and asses
don't we work our horses end asses %
50 Yes, certainly l replied, Z" we work our
horses, but We put asses onto en- That's what
makes Us 80 sick - .--
"I think see IT, said the schoolmaster.
" We amt very well, that's a fact"
No. replied - and I'll say this it, with
our vast advantage, in almost every respect over
the South if We, great free nation by our
selves, can't woIlup the foe till he yells for
mercy, then I'm goin' to Mexico where they
have stable gov'mcnt, and the rest of you
had better take suthin warm and lay down!
But, my friends, never despair OF the Re
public We air about to try it on agin,
with army big enough 10 grind It to pow
der "A army 10 be led, lot US al pray,
bv one good man. Better or brsveT troops
never ft than ours They've idone their duty,
God bless eml But they've had too many bosses.
The only trouble with our splendid army has
been Bad BossiH. This is to be reformed here
sfter-snd so hooTsy for the old flag May it
soon fiy over every State with sll its wanderin
stars come back agin, as in the happy old time!
That's worth fghhn forts worth dyiu' for
Young man, enlist right of. Air you afeared
it'll spile your beauty. Let me tell you that the
best and prettiest girls in this country air here
after goin to be courted by fellows en- crutches,
who have done great things in battle, and you
chaps Nho staid at home IN your country,s dsrk
hour won't stand no moro chance Of gettin' one
of 'em than Davis does of goin to heaven in
balloon! Enst-enlisti In the language of
Hamlet daddy, "Iist, oh! lsr
And it bein' late, the company dispersed