The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1862-11-20
A Woman,s Idea of Men.
NUMBER "a.

Men are strong. They do things, and don't
mind it. They can open doors in the dampest
weather They can unstrap trunks without
breaking blood vessel, turn keys in mo-
ment which women have lost their temper and
famed their fingers over for half an hour, look
down precipices and not be dizzy, knock each
other PROSTATE and not be stunned. You may
strike them with all your might on the chest,
and it dosen't hurt them in the least, Il mean
if you are woman.) They never grow nerv-
Gus and cry. They go up stairs three at time
They put one hand on four-rail fence, and
leap it without touching: In short, they do
everything easily which women try to do and
cannot. Moreover, men are SO 'easy to get
along with" They are good-natured and con-
yienently blind and benevolent. Women crit
icise you, not unjustly, perhaps, but relentless
ly. They judge you in detail, men only in the
whole. If your dress is neat, well-tttlng, and
well-toned men will not notice it, except a
few milliners, and few others who ought to
be, and to whose opinion we pay no regard
If you will only sit still, hold up your head and
speak when you are spoken to. you can be very
comfortable. 1 do not mean that men cannot
and do not appreciate female brilliancy but if
you are good listener, and in the right re-
ceptive mood, you can spend and hour pleas
antlv without it. But woman finds out in
the first three minutes that the fringe on your
dress is not a match. In four, she has dlscov-
cred that the silk of your sleeves is frayed atthe
edge. In five, that the binding of the heel of
your boot is worn out By the sixth, she has
satisfactorily ascertained, what she expected
the first moment she''set her eyes on you, that
you trimmed your bonnet yourself. The sew
enth assures her that your collar is only 'imi-
tation - and when you part, at the end OF ten
minutes, she has calculated with tolerabl accu :
A. &c
mental eye-glass at all your innocent little
subterfuges, and knows to dead certainty
your past history, present circumstances, and
future prospects. Well, what harm if she
does? None in particular. 1t is only being
stretched on the rack little while. You have
no reason to be ashamed, and you are not
ashamed. Your boots are only beginning to be
shabby, and we all know the transitory nature
of gaIoon. Your fringe is too dark, but you
ransacked the city and did your best, "angels
could do no more You trimmed your bonnet
yourself and saved two dollars, which was just
what you intended to do. "The means were
worthy. and the end was won" Your lace is
not real. according to the cant of the shop
keepers but it is real-real cotton. real linen,
real silk, or whatever the material may be, and
you never pretended it was Honiton or point
and if lace is soft and white and fine, and sets
off the throat and wrists prettiy, do not see
why it may not just as well be made in Amcri
ca for two cents yard, as in Paris for two dol
lars, or two hundred In fact; this whole mat
ter of lace is something entirely beyond nay
Why, I have seer women
who in the ordinary affairs of life were neat to-
A fault fall down and worship BIT OF orgy
DID yellow lace that locke fit for nothing but
he wasb-tub ;and when demonstrated with ex-
,use themselves by saying "Why, it is fifty OF
i've hundred years old " which may be very
ucd explanation, but cannot say fully un-
lerstand and appreciate it--GaH Hamilton