The dollar weekly bulletin. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1862-1864, 1862-08-21
A Western girl, after giving her lover Q
hearty smack. exclaimed, DOG my oats It
you hain't taken little rye.old hoss.

Mrs. Partington says sit is q triumphant
and confederate sh ame for the Cabinet peo-
pie at Washington to permit our men of war
on the Pertumic to hug that Mary Land
Shore 80 much.
r1 ON WOMAN.
Nature impartial in her ends,
(. When she made man the strongest,
| In .suice, then, to make ameLds,
Made woman's tongue the longest.
stone in Oxford, New Hampshire, may not
oe superlatively ludicrous. but it certainly is
some"
| s'To all my friends bid adieu,
moro sudden death you never knew,
| As was leading the old mare to drink,
She clicked and killed me quicker'n wink"
When Dr. H. and Lawyer A. were
walking arm in arm, wag observed to
friend:
'Those two are just equal to one high
wavman'
.Why?' asked the other.
Because replied the wag, sit is a lawyer
and doctor-your money or your hfe.'
lady was requested by bachelor who
was somewhat advanced in years to take
seat on his lap while in a crowded sleigh.
tNo thank ou' said she, Il am afraid
such an old seat would break down with
me-
windy orator. after lengthy effort,
stopped for drink Of water.
Il rise.' said Bloss, to point OF order,
Everybody stared, in wonder what tho
point of order was.
what is it?' said the speaker.
Il think. SIR said Bloss, it is out or order
for windmill to go by water
Children are inqusitive bodies-for in
stance: What does c1eave mean, father"
1T means to unite together.'
sDoes ohm unite wood when he cleaves it?'
Hem well, it means to separate
well, father. does man separate from
his wife when he cleaves to her"
Hem, hem. don't ask 80 many foolish
questions, child!
DO YOU keep nails here?' asked sleepy
looking lad walking into hardware store, tho
other day.
Yes replied the gentlemanly proprietor:
I'VE keep all kinds of nails; what kind will
you have, Sir. and how MANY"
'Well.' said the boy, sliding toward the
door. "rll take oound of finger nails and
about pound and half Of toe nails
The following reply to that everlasting
Inouiry-'How do you do?' was made bv an
ORIGINAL. the other day:-"Rather slim;
thank'ee: I've got the rheumati in one
leo. and white swellin' on tother knee, be-
sides having leet,e touch of the dysentery,
and 1 amt very well myself neither
a LAWYER and doctor were discussing the
antiquity of their respective professions, and
each cited authority to prove his the most
ancient. Mine said the disciple of Lvcur-
ens, 'commenced almost with tho worlds
era. Cain slew his brother Abel, and that
was criminal case in law True rejoin-
ed Esculapius, 'bnt nv profession is coeval
with the creation itself. Old Mother Eve
was m ade out of rib taken from Adams
hodv. and that was surgical operation.'-
The lawyer dropped his green bag.
Said old Mrs. Philanthropy. the other day.
accosting precocious urchin in the street
with a wardrobe rem arkable for its ventilat-
ing advantages, 'Bubbv, WHY don't you go
homo and have your mother sew up that
awful hole in vour trowsers?' ooh, you git
eout, old 'oman,' was the respectful reply.
'our folks is economizing. and hole Will
last longer than patch any day. The OLD
lady's honest sympathy was wasted while
the youngster beat retreat round the cor
ner.
An Irishman used to come home often
drunk. and once when he was watering his
horse, his wife said to him, Now. Paddy,
isn't that baste an example to ye? Don't
You see he laves of when he has had enough,
the cravtur! He's the most sensible baste OF
the two.' oh, it's very we'll to discourse
like that, Biddy,' cried Paddy. but it there
was another horse at the other side OF the
trough to say, Here's your health, me ould
bowl would he sthop till he drank the whole
trough. think YEP
We have heard of good many enthusiastic
lovers in our time, but we think that Mr..
Toots takes 'em all down. IT [ could be
dyed black he said, to Captain Cnttle, and
m ad de Miss Dom bey's slave, l should consider
it com piment; or. If at the sacrifice of all
my property, could get migrated into
Ter dog. should be so perfectly happy.
never would stop wagging my tall There's
devotion as is devotior What's taking
arsenic to man with such feelipgsf
MA! Ma! Cousin John, he's In the parlor
with sister Cal. and he keeps o.tin' ner'
"Cousin John biting my Cal'
"Yes'm; seed him do it ever 50 many
times. bite her right on the mouth. and the
tarnai GA! didn't boiler bit neither"
"Ob!-ah! never mind, Ned, I guess he
didn't hurt her much"
"Hurt her by gosh she loves it, she does;
cos she kept lettin' him. and didn't say
nothin', but jest SIN ack ed her lips though
twas good, she did. I seed it all through
the ksy-bole. I'll fire tateTs at him, by
soshE'