Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1862-03-05
A Chapter on Shirks.

Adam was the father of the race of
shifks; and he shrked the responsibility Of
eating the forbidden apple, upor Eve, who,
in turn shirked It upon the serpent. La
illness is natural to mad and to shrk work
is an expediency growing out Of his origi-
nal and innate sin. Unless strong in
centiye to labor had been laid upon the
race, very few rods Of fence would have
been built to mark the boundaries Of our
estates. TO shirk work, then, and get a
living in the easiest possible way--some-
how, without having recourse to the
''sweat Of the brow"--is obviously the
method Of a majogity Of the sons Of Adam
to this day.
Hence, every four years, multitudes Of
hungry rsen are seen making pilgrimages
to Washington, in expectancy Of politi-
cal miracle being wrought in their behalf,
that will suffice 10 feed them for the re-
mainder Of their lives with Ioayes and
fishes. These multitudes start on this
hopeful expedition from all parts, splendid
~ equipped with carpet bag, long pc
tilon, d couple Of dickies, and hundred
dollars--in rare cases their own, but gen.
orally borrowed They throng the capitol
and invest the wide avenues to the White
House and public officers, like flies around
molasses barrel; they ask each clerk.
ship, collectorship, any kind Of a stl.7
that will float them TRANQUILITY over the
waters of life, without giving them the
trouble Of rowiag. These are the polili-
cal shirks, too proiean to allow us to fol
low further.
The Board Of Brokers are the concen
trated quintessence Of shirk; who scheme
out living, and make money without
giving therefor the slightest equivalent to
society: who sell stock above its real value
to-day, but on the morrow below par, TO
sell it again next day at fictitious adj
gambling Of the worst species.-
In the little pieces Of painted paste-hoard
there are but four knaves in d pack; in
the pack Of brokers they are all knayes.--
Sin when finished, bGngeth forth DEATH
and gambling when finished, bringeth forth
the Board Of Brokers.
There are men who "shirk" their own
individuality; who have nothing positive
about thelr, but are willing 10 yield and
conform to other mems opinions, without
daring 70 assert any Of their own. These
are sAirks who are in times of difficult re-
sponsibity occupy that unenyiable perch
known as the 'ience."
America is peculiarly a milton Of shirks.
Lawyers are made in day; doctors, there
arc innocent of the least part OF medical
science; boys, as soon as they exchange
the jacket for the long-taiI coat, adopt
business ora profession, instead Of learn
INC one, and hang out their 'sshingle."--
kppreniiceships are obsolete things. Men
grasp, as it were, by intuition, all the fac
ulties aud rules Of trade, but ruin is tho
result.
There are also the shirks Of fashionable
and exclusive society--commonl called
"good." "Blood, Bleeding, Brains, ard
Bullion" are the four magnates Of which
good society is thought to be Composed
Those who enter this charmed circle Of
Uppertendom without the essignia Of one
Of the BIS is shirk, and must be willing
to become beneficiary and bore in or
der to cot Abundance, and in the operation
become rounded and polished Oft at the
corners like cake of scented soap in
public bathing room.--Dr. Holland.