Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1862-11-15
@ottester Dailp Syn
From the New York Sunday Mercury.
Orpheus c. Kerr on the Elections

AWeeO' l. lie late erection IN New
York, my boy, has electrified everybody ex-
cept our honest Abe, who still goes about
smiling, like long and amiable sexton, and
continues to save our distracted country after
the manner of an honest man. On Tuesday
night, high moral democratic chap, of much
watch-seal, who had just received a dispatch
all about the election, went to see the honest
Abe, for the express purpose of telling him
that the democratic party had been born again,
and was on the point of protesting against
everything whatsoever, except the constitu-
ton of our forefathers. He found honest Abe
cracking some walnuts before the fire. my boy,
and says he:
"The celebrated democratic organization,
of which [ am assistant engineer, has carried
the state of New York in manner impossi-
BILE to express, and will now proceed to de-
mand of you a vigorous prosecution of that
unnatural strife in which are involved our
lives, our liberties, and the pursuit of happ-
ness We admire to see your harmless hon
esty," says the chap blandly, land we believe
you to be fresh egg; but we protest against
the arbitrary arrest Of men which is patriots,
only conservatvely democratic; and we in
sist upon vigorous prosecution Of constitu-
tiOnal hostilities against our misguided broth
ers who are now offering irregular opposition
to the government"
The honest Abe cracked a walnut, and says
he:
"You say, neighbor, that the organization
still insists upon vigorous prosecution of the
WARP"
The democratic chap sliced toothpick
from the arm of the chair with his knife, and
says he: "That is the present platform on
which we are Epluyibus unum."
'Well," says the honest Abe, 81 believe
that you mean well; but am reminded of a
little story.
"When l was practcing law in Illinois,"
says the honest Abe, twisting the bow of his
black necktie around from under his left ear,
''there was an old cock, with two sons, living
near me, in tumbie-down old shanty. He
lived there until half his roof blew off one
windy night, and then he concluded to move
to new house, where the chimney didn't
take up all the upper story. On the day when
he moved, he'd got most all his traps changed
to the other residence, and had sent one OF his
sons to see that they were all got safely in
doors, when suddenly shower commenced
to come up. The old man and the other off
spring, who had stayed to hurry him, were
taking up a carpet from the floor at the time
the first dose of thunder cracked, and the off
spring, says he, hurry up, old crazy bones,
or we'll be ketched in the freshet before you
get up this here rich fabric The stern parent
needed the admonlhon, and went ripping
away the carpet around the edges of the room,
until he came near where the offspring was
standing, and there it stuck, He pulled, but
il wouldn't come, and he says, says he:
pears to me that dod rotted tack must be a
penny nail-it holds on So You see, the old
screw was very blind without his Specs" says
the honest Abe, buttoning his vest askew,
''and he couldn't see just where the tack was.
Another peal of thunder at this moment made
H., epi, oAc SFtl nd ba
says, says he: y GU misabul old cripple, ifyou
don't hurry up we'll be ketched tell you =
As he made this dutiful remark he went stamp
ing to the window, and at the same moment
the cantankerous tack came out, and the aged
parent went over on his back with the carpet
up to his chin He got up and busted, and
says he: We'll, now, that is cur'ous-how
student that went Then he proceeded to
rip away again until he came near the window
and there it stuck once more. The wild Off
spring saw him Juggling again, and it made
him so wrathy that he says, says he. why
in thunder don't you take out the nails first,
you crooked old sinner, you? Its enough to
make me weep afresh for the old woman, to
see how you But he didn't finish his OBJ
servation for, as he walked towards where
the hammer was laying, the tack came out,
and the old 'un went to bed again under
the carpet. Up sprang the sad parent spit
ting rags and he says, says he ell now,
how cur'ous-to think it should come so sud-
dentp Still on he went until the carpet was
all up from around the edges; but when he
tried to drag it away on his shoulder, 1t was
fast somewheres yet. R-r-rum--bum-
boom! went the thunder; and says the in
furiated offspring, says he: We'll, l never
did see such laundering old dad as you be.
Wen be ketched in the rain as sure as grass
and all bppauSp didn't take m