Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1862-02-15
N. M. Pomeroy's Petition to the
Legislature.

10 L/IC [xCUOTCLO(C-OftS CCf y LAOfto "
Bile and more too, Legislature Of
Wisconsin, or any GtIer man, pray
ing!
The petition of your honorable Pc
titioncr respectively represents to your
humble body, that he has examined
with due diffidence to the st4tuettes Of
the State; and that he is therein made
to believe that according to the hard
ware and provisions of the Constitu
ton, he is free citizen, except one
wife aid baby, and big mortgage on
a small lot of land, aud has the right
to run a petition between and to your
humble body, to wit:
Being ofmature discretion and sound
age, and of patriotic cast of features,
he has faithfully served the country he
honors, for several years from infancy
in all sorts of ways, and has stuck to
her like burr in the capdal append
age of a canine all the time, and held
no office of trust, mistrust, profit, hon
or, cmoluments, perquisites, or affec-
ton, except Marshal OF the Day one
rainy 4th of July; it is the honorable
belief Of the petitioner aforesaid to
your humble body, that he ought to be
rewarded.
And now, when ali the fleet footed
rogues are cnlisting in the army to es-
cape legal proceedings, he is left out
III the wet, and requests to be appoint
cl to some Of the following Offices, as
Il token of the esteem, merit, conf
dence aud what you call it, Governors
and such high men always have for
those who stood at the roots and boost
ed when YOU were all candidates and
needed help.
To the position of Assistant Cover
nor, with salary in advance.
Or; to the position of Minister to
Rome wherever your petitioner pleas
es, at the expense and per diem of the
State.
Or; to the position Of agent for the
State to visit New York, to inspec:
arms-and things by gss-EgiE, ct the
expense of the State.
Or; to atteDd g, regiment as wet
nurse Will rank Of two Co,onels, at the
expense Of the war fund, with private
Instructions to cqqine our services to
our family whep sad services are
needed.
Or; to the position, rank and pay of
Bricadier General, with power to APP
point as leader of the band, our neph-
ew Platter Head, who don't know e.
Sharp from Member of Congress.
Or; to the position of Colonel of
some Infantry Company: with instruc-
,ions to raise all the members we cRn :;
having a reasonable number of months
to do it in.
Or; to the position of Lieutenant
Colonel Of a squad of sap-heads and
miscrs, with private understanding
that we can resign the day before 4
Ibattlc, and run for some Circuit Judge
ship, or carry flag of truce i'll adj
vance of retreat.
Or; to the position Of Adjutant Gen
.cral of two battalions, whose only du-
ty shall be to go back for intorce-
ments, unless the rain should threaten
to damage our store clothes.
Or; to the patriotic position of Pay
master to handle the State funds with
out giving security, to the benefit Of
the wife and child Of the paymaster
aforesaid
If your humble body will not grant
the prayer of your honorable petition
err to the full and General extent he
supplicates for-if all these places are
silled,yo honorable sFpplies.tor would
accept OF
The position of Clerk to one or the
other of the Houses of the Legislature
Or; the position of Assistant Clerk.
Or; the position of Door Keeper
Or; the position Of first, second,
,ithird, or fourth assistant door-keeper.
rOr.; the position Of Postmaster.
Or; the position of reporter, with a
chance to draw for stationery for pa
.pers not reported for.
Or; the position of page, page .fna
:a'half, of.two pages.
Or; the position of fireman.
Or; the position of spittoon cleaner
Or; the position of door-tendcr to
one of the out-houses, if the inner
houses are filled with suckers.
Or; the position Of apple, molasses
candy, peanut, or popcorn peddler Al
the entrance to your humble but vir
tuous temple.
And your honorable petitioner wou.6
still further petition that if there is lie
place now vacant in the bestowal O
your humble body, that you will a
once make some Office to suit the par
ticular wants ef your honorable peti
.sioner, and to relieve his pressing ne
cessities-as he is too poor to give