Daily State sentinel. [volume] (Indianapolis, Ind.) 1861-1865, 1862-05-23

Woman, my boy, at her worst, is a source /
of real happiness to the sterner sex. There's
a chap in the Mackerel Brigade who got very
melancholy one day after receiving a letter
from home, wherein he was affectionately |
called "a unnatural and vicious creetur," for |
not sending his better half new dress and
some hair pins. Seeing his affiiction, and
divining its cause, another Mackere stepped up
to him, and says he:
''Is it the old woman which is on tare?"
The married chap groaned, and says he:
ashes mad as hornet. | do believe"
saws the married chap, turning very pale,
''that she'll take away my night key, and teach
my babes to call me the Old File"
"Well," says the comforting Mackerel,
'then why did you get married? Why didn't
you stay single bachelor like me, and enjoy
the pursuit of happiness in the Fire Depart
ment?"
"Happinessw says the married chap, "why
it was expressly to enjoy happiness that |
welded. Step this way" says the married
chap, with horrible smile, leading his con-
soler aside, ..ain't the woman OF America NOR
tal?"
"Yes,' says the Mackerel, thoughtfully.
And don't they die?"
Yes" SAYS the Mackerel. THAT is to
say" added the Mackerel contemplatively,
''they sometimes die when there's new and
expensive tombstones in fashion,
peter Perkins" says the married chap,
with a smile of wild bliss, IL wouldn't miss the
happiness | shall feel when my angel returns
to her native hevings, for the sake of being
twenty bachelors. No. says the married
chap, clutching his bosom, "Pve lived on the
thought of that air bliss ever since the morn
ing my female partner threw my box of long
skies out of the window, and brought in the
police because / brought valuable tarrier
home with me-" Here the married chap un-
corked his canteen, and eyed it with speech
less fury.
Tears came to the eyes of the unwomanite
Mackerel; he extended his hand. and, SAYS he:
Say no more, Bobby-say no more. If
YOU amt got the correck idea of heaven,
there's no such place on the map"
| give YOU this touching conversation be-
tween two OF natures noblemen, my boy. that
YOU may appreciate that beautiful dispensa-
ton of Providence which endows womon with
the slighter failings of humanity. vet gives her
the power to brighten the mind of interior
man with glorious visions of JOY beyond the
grave.
Ny arm has been strengthened in this war.
my boy. by the inspiration of womans cour-
age. and aided by her almost miraculous fore
sight. Only yesterday fair girl, OF forty
three summers, thoughtfully sent me box.
containing two gross of assorted fsh-hooks,
three cook books, one dozen of Tubbses best
spool cotton, three door-plates, package of
patent geranium roots, two yards OF Brussels
carpet, Rumforl's illustrated work on Perpet-
ual Inioxication. ten bottles of furniture pol
iSh, and some wall paper. Accompanying
these articles 80 valuable 10 a soldier on the
march, was a note, in which the kind hearted
girl said that the things were intended for our
sick and wounded troops, and were the VOL
untary tributes of loyal and dreamy-soued
woman | tried dose of the furniture pol
ish mr. boy. on a chap that had the measels.
and he has felt 80 much like a sofa ever since,
that the coroner's jury will sit on him to-mor-
row.
The remainder of this susceptible young
creatures note. my boy. was calculated TO
move a heart of stone. She asked if il hurt
much to be killed and said she should think
the President might sue jeff Davis, or COM
nit hdbeds corpus or some other ridiculous
thing, to stop this dreadful, spirit-agcnizing
war. She SAYS that her deepest heart-throbs
and dream-yearnings were for the crimson
eonsecrated Union, and that she had lavished
her most narrowing hope sobs for its heaven
triumph. She said that she had friend
named Smith in the army, and wished could
find him out and tell him that the human
heart, though repining at the absence of the
beloved object, may be coldly proud as
scornful statue to the strangers eye, but pines
like soul-murdered water lily on the lovely
stream of its twilight dropping contempations.
Anxious TO oblige her, my boy, asked the
General of the Mackerel Brigade If he knew
a soldier by the name of Smith.