The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1856-1888, 1862-03-13
General Order. No. So.
mot ssUED BY II SECRETARY or WAR;
HEAD QUARTERs. GENERAL NURSERY,
nr.rx n,N 1S uf-NnREn & VERY HnT.

mot ISSUED BY THE SECRETARY or "Ah-i
HEAD QuARrrRs. GENERAL NURSERY,
DUsrY DAY, IS HUNDRED, y VERY Hor.
In consideration Of the great increase of babies in
late years, and of the prospect Of more to come, 1t IS
hereby ordered that an Infantry School be shortly
established on Punch Bowl Hill, where all OF the ms
ing generation. who are about cutting their eye teeth,
will be required TO attend.
An Esiti's entering the establishment mus; be pos
sessei of good lungs, with a disposition to disturb the
nocturnal >lumbers OF neighboring bachelors and IN
married ladies of an uncertain age, and with a prop
erly developed corporation.
Fees, so cents per quarter, or its equivalent IN pol
brown soap, sugar cane, rice or molasses candy.
The following branches will be carefully thumped.
punched and switched into the Uranium of each pupil
DEFINITION.
I.-General instruction in the art Of sucking thumbs
INFANTRY.
u-I--Llght Division, composed Of sill babies weighing less
2--Heayy Division. large. fat aud obstrppulOus babies
over 5 and less than $50 lbs.
3-Pareeoric Division, composing such as are inclined &c
to the cholc.
TACTICS.
I~I-l-SchoOlo Of the baby, with bare arms and hair sProu''
2-Division of shawl pins. l square yard linen requir-
s-Division led with a spoon.
+Ins,ruction in diminishing, sprAwlins' scratching
5-Foraging grnei, attacking and demolshinr.
6-orier of batle-Present mugs, open mouths, forma-
tion Of threats, natural disposition to yelliormore'
rear Of open order-march, carrying the ful ones
7-Ambuscaies-sudde attacks in the night, scream
ing, use Of laudsuum, squalling in church, op9oSi-
ton to the choir, set the spAnk-er (beg pardon,
that's navall
STRATEGY y LoGISTICS-
N.-Defntion-art Of sleeping with one eye open; sWanoN-
ing pins, points downwsrds; the nse Of the ootIe,
varieties Of milk; difference between COW ; mlIk ana
the mIkman's.
ARTILLERY.
-Uistor Of the formation of rocks; the big guns OF the
present era; the manufacture Of bricks; their general
effect in a hat; their use as projectlesi theory OF
pointing; natural consequence to window sash, ter
penetration, &c.
CAVALRY.
Wits organization and usefulness in our town; riding
gracefully; the art Of holding tight to the pommel
with both hands; inclination OF some horses I" bite
and kick; how TO keep your legs out Of the way. y
b. The Bactrian Camel has been hired at great eA-
pense and viii be in constant attendance, that the
pupils may learn to - hump themselves properly:
VIA course Of sprouts, steamer stock, hooian soo uis
ging, and patent medicines
\. B-Pupils will not be allowed TO smoke common clay
pipes, without the consent Of their parents or guardians. the
Chief Instructor shall be a regular jolly good fellow, married,
mo Bachelors need apply and his title shall he, The High ana
Noble General OF Keikidom, Chief Nurse and Trainer; and he
shall have on his staff one Assistant, with the title Of BY baby
BY. whose business it shall be to keep the linen dry and pro-
P"' " PUNCH
To whom all applications must be made between the hours OF
sunset and sunrise, and at no other time