Muscatine weekly journal. [volume] (Muscatine, Iowa) 185?-1890, 1862-11-28
= MUsCATINEs IOWA, FRIDAY. NOVEMBER 28, 1862


II
| I'm 1t present existin' under mooiks
form Of Gov'ment In other words In
travelin' among the crowned heads of Canady
| They ar'n't pretty bad people. On the cot'ry
they air exceedin' good people. af'5 a6
Troo, they air deprived Of many blsssins
They don't enjoy, for instans, the priceles'
boon Of . war. They haven't. any American
Egil to.onchain, and they haven't got Fourth
Of July on their back. 2aA9 o. - a
Altho' this is monikal form of Gov'ment
| am enable to perceive much moniky. triei
to get piece in Toronto. but failed to succeed
Mrs. Victoria, who is queen of England
and has all the luxuries Of the msrket, includ
lin game in its season, don't bother herssl
much about Canady, but let's her do bout O.
she's mighter. She however gin'rally keeps
her supplied with lord, who's called gov.
'ner Gin'ral. Sometimes the politicians oi
Csnady make it lively for this lord--for Cana.
dy has politicians, and / expect they don'l
differ from our politicians, some of them bein'
gifted and talented liars, no doubt
The present Gov'ner Central Of Canady il
Lord Monk saw him review some volun
teers at Montreal. He was accompanied by
| some other lords and dukes and generals and
those sort of things. He rode . little bay
horse, and his close wasn't any better than
mine. You'll always NOTES, by the way,
that the higher up in the world a man is, the
less good harness he puts on. Hence Gin'ral
Hallack walks the streets in plain citizens
dress, while the second lieutenant of volun.
teer regiment piles al the brass things he can
find onto his back, and drags forty-pound
sword after him. s -. -. ~.
Monk has been in the lord businens some
time, and understand it pays, though dom I
know what lords wages is. The wages OF
sin is death and postage stamps. But this
has nothing to do with Mon k. g ....,. .
One Of Lord Monks daughters rode with
him on the field. She has golden hair, kind,
good face, and wore red hat. I should be
very happy to have her pay me and my family
visit at Baldinsville. Come and bring your
nittin', Miss Monk. Mrs. Ward will do the
fair thing by you. She makes the best slap
jacks in America. As slapjsckist, she has
no elkal. She wears the bet. i ..s@ q
| What the review was all about, ] dom {
know. haven'ta gigantic intelleck, which
can grasp great questions at onct. am not
Webster nor Seymour. Tam not Washing
ton or Wadsworth. Fur from it. l am
not as gifted . man as Henry Ward Beecher.
Even the congregation of Plymouth Meetin-
House in Brooklin will admit that. Yes,
should think so. But while 1 don't have the
slightest idee as to what the review was fur, l
| will state that the sojers looked pooty
scrumptioas in their red and green close.
Come with me, jentle reader, to Quebeck.
Quebeck was surveyed and laid out by gen.
tleman who had the delirium tremens from
childhood, and hence his idee of things was
little irreg'ler The streets don't lead sny.
where in partic'ler. but uteverywheresi in sin'ra.
The city is built on variety of perpendic'ler
hills, each hill bein' trifle worse nor t'other
one. Quebeck is full of stone walls, and
arches, and citadels and things 1t is said
that no foe could ever git into Quebeck, and
guess they wouldn't. And Idon't see what
they'd want to get there for.
Quebeck has seen lively times in warlike
way. The French and the Britishers had a
set-to there in 1859. Jim Wolfe commanded
the latters, and 10. Montcalm, the formers.
Both were hunky boys, and fit nobly. Bat
Wolfe was too many measles for Montcalm,
and the French were slew'd. Wolfe and
Montcalm were both killed.
In arter years common monyment was
erected by the gen'rous people Of Quebeck,
aided by bully Earl named George Dalhousie,
to these noble fellows. That was we'll done.
Durin' the Revolutionary War B. Arnold
made his way, through dense woods and
thick SHOWS, from Maine to Quebeck, which
it was one of the hunkiest things ever done
in the military line. 1t would have been
better If B. Arnolds funeral had como off
Immediately on his arrival there.
; On the plains of Abraham there was onct
some tall ightin', and ever since then there
has been a great demand for the bones of the
slcwd on that there occasion. But the real
ginooine bones was long ago carried of, and
now the boys make handsome thing by
cartin' the tbones of h,sses and sheep out
there, and sellin' 'em to intelligent American
towerists. Takin' professional view Of this
dodge, ! must say it betrays genius of lorfty
character
II reminded me of inspired feet Of my
own. I used to exhibit wax figure Of Henry
wilkins, the Boy Murderer. Henry had, in
q moment Of inadvertence, killen his uncle
Ephran and walked off with the old mans
money. Well, this s.atoogy was lost some
how, and ofsposin' it would make any par
ticular difference Isubstitooted the full grown
statoos of one of my distinguished prints for
the Boy Murderer. One night exhibited to
Q poor but honest audience in the town of
Stoneham. Maine. ''This, ladies and gentle
men," said I, pointing with my umbrella
Chat weapon which is indispensable to every
troo Amcrican) to the statoo, "this is lifelike
wax 6gger of the notorious Henry Wilkins,
who in the dead Of night murdered his uncle
Ephram in cold blood. A sad warning to
uncles having murderers for nephews. When
. mere child this Henry Wilkins was COM
PEELED to go to Sunday school. He carried no
Sunday school book: The teacher told him
to 60 hcme and get one. He went and
returned with comic song book. A de-
praved procedin'. .e-r b s
"But," says man in the audience, swhen
you was here before your wax figure repre-
sented Henry Wilkins as q boy. Now, Henry
was hung, and yet he is represented as full
grown man. How's that"
"The fgger has crowd, sir-it has Crowd"
I said. ~ a54 s e
was sngry. fit had been in these times
think should have informed agin him as
. traitor to his flag, and had him put in Fort
Lafayette. vaa e5 asrs9 gnissassi Il Il
| say adoo to Quebeck with regret 1t Is
old fogish, but chuck full of interest. Young
gentlemen Of . romantic turn of mind, who
are hotherin' their heads as to how they can
spend their fathers money, had better go to
Quebeck. & D. ri tseaq4fs
Although / like Canady, good people and
lots Of pretty girls, | wouldn't mind c,min'
over here to live in the capacity of Duke,
provided . vacancy occurs, and provided
further I could be allowed few star spangled
banners, eagle, boon Of liberty, etc.
Don't think I've skedadled. Not at all.
I'm coming home in week.
2 Let's have the Union restored as it was il
we can; but if we can't, Pm in favor of tie
Union as 1t scdsn'k But the Union, anyhow.
Gentlemen Of the editorial corps, if you /.
would be happy, be virtoous! !, who am the