Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1862-11-26
Linoolon's Last Story.

OLD Major Downing, it is known, is quar-
tered in the White House, and has written
some letters descriptive of the doings there.
The following is supposed to be the last nOta-
bic scene in that house Of mourning, and was
obtained through an intimate friend of the
Major:
We have an orful solum time here since the
elecshuns in Ohio Indiany and PennsyIvany,
and Ioway. Old Abe and Stanton and WelIes
takes it to hart very much and it was more
than week after they begin to cum in be-
fore the President could tell a story. To-day
be reused up enuf to tell US one: He said
the elecshum reminded him of hog speeerIa-
tur in Illinois, who wanted to buy all the
hogs he could and to kontroH the market.
lie got all the shinPlasters in two or three
banks and opened up an Office If. Chicago to
invite sellers. One day an old one cum IN, a
nifty plane lookin old feller, and wanted to
sell sum hogs. 4f
How many hev ye got2n sed the spek-
elatur.
a don't know exactly, ses the old hog
drover.
"Wa," sez the spekelatur,. At guess IN
take all you can bring any how, and the ig-
ger was named-It was good fgger.
"Eow,r sez the old feIler, 9" jes give me a
paper saying what you'll do and put in it
that I may'deliver them hogs at Chicago or
Alton, or Springfield, just as I please
"Of course" says the spekelatur, and he
wrote the paper.
The old feller went away-and in few
days the live pork begun to cum in.
The clerk come in one day and sez to the
spelelatur, Old Benson sez he, 1.-THE old
felIer's name was BeusonJ 'shas sentin 10000
hogs Aud here is a letter from Springfield;
he has sent in Is 5000 there. and the agent at
Alton says he has sent in 10000 there. and
the money has cen most run out, and be
writes for sum more.
"Very well, sez the spekelatur-''I guess
thaFI finish the old feller's lot"
But lie was mistaken. Every morning
more letters-more hogs driven in-more
money wanted. At last the spel1elatuF be-
gin to get skeered. and sent for ole Benson,
who, you may be sure, wasn't far away.
Well, old fsller, sez. he F" you he7 a good
many hogs7"
HRight smart lot Of 'em, sez the old chap.
"TlIsend in ten thousand mere to-morrOw.3
Thunder and blazes r. sez the spekelatur
{" how many on earth hev you?, r
Don't know" sez ole Benson (" hey a
big lot to come yit."
"See here, old feIler," sez the spekelatur,
q guess you'd better quit delivering jest
keep the money you've got, and take all the
hogs hev, and let me out of the eontTaetF'
for he'd found out who old Benson was,
and begin to have notion Of the size of his
pile and the strength of his game.
After some disputin' the spekelatur made
over his hogs to Benson, and shut up his Of
fee and went to settle with the Banks.
Now sez old old Abe to Stanton, "you
kin make the application yourself-and may
be you'd better be gettin' ready to hand over
things to those Democrats they don't
seem to be done deliverin' yet I'm afeard
Stanton, we can't CONTROL the market
In Philadelphia hospital few days ago,
was little drummer boy, whose arms had
been taken off by round shot He lay all
covered up but his innocent little face: Two
benevolent ladies came to him in their rounds
of mercy. : We will let a correspondent tell
the rest
"a lady gently tanning his forehead softly
whispered, q the little feIlowis asleep, we
must not disturb him."
No, ma'arn, I'm not asleep, he answered.
It was silvery voice, full of the sweetest
innocence. @
HWell my little fellow, continued the lady
as she nearer drew, are you not fond Of
p
"Very much so," he replied.
"Didn't you see me place this on your
little table n reaching for the plate of cream.
"Oh, yes he cried tremulously, but I
shut my eyes and cried to myself"
Cried, my childl why, what made you
cry, my dear ?"
"Oh, madam, if you viii pull the quilt
down a little, you viii sec"
The lady did so, and found that be had no
arms Both of them had been lost in battle.
---s.>s-----
MEssRs. Riggs & Co., day Or two ago,
offered a reward of s., 900 for a missing box,
which was takeu out Of the Bank of America
Immediately after it had been deposited there.
The box contained papers valued at S133, ,2G2,
and certificates of stock amounting to about
$500 OOO On Monday, between and
o'clock, Detectives Kelso and Radford report
ed themselves to Sergeant Young with the
box, containing all the missing property, ex-s
eept S4O0 worth OF postage stamps. The de-
tectives had watched the place freguented by
the suspected thief severaldays, finally fearing
the receiver might destroy the box and its
contents, they pounced upon the house, and
secured the property just in time to save the
documents from the hames.-M = Tribune,
5h.
A MULE driver in the army was swearing
at and kicking a span of baullly mules when
the general who was greatly annoyed at his
profanity, ordered him to stop.
"Who are you?"