The Burlington weekly hawk-eye. [volume] (Burlington [Iowa]) 1860-1876, 1862-10-25

civilized warfare, which are the only authorize
West Point editionse Like oil his infatuated
countrymsn, he was rendered less than strategic
by the demon of Secession, and he crossed oy
the unmilitary ford instead of by the military
bridge.
This is, indeed. heart sickening.
There was Mackerel chap who slept in the
house to take care of large black bottle, and
when he hesrk the go-cart driving up before the
door, he stuck his head out of the window, and
says he:
"What is it which you would have in these IL.
regular proceedings, Mr.. STUART"
The Confederacy dismounted from bis chariot,
tied bag of oats over his chargers head, and
says he:
'Tn making raid"
The Mackerel waved his hand southwark, and
says he:
"You'll find the bridge just below. Don't stay
here, says the Mackerel, earnestly, "or you'll
exasperate the North to fury"
Here the Confederacy made some remark in
which the name of the North and profsne ex-
plet've were connected very closely, and pro-
ceeded to bring from the house hobby-horse
which stood in the hail. After placing this val
liable article in his go.cart. he next brought out
a cooking stove; closely following this with some
chairs, a dining table, two feather beds, q tea
set, four wine glasses and some tunbers, a look
ing glass, fsur sheets, two cottage bedsteads, a
Brussels carpet, and NJ altese cat With these
and a few other exceptions, my boy, he made no
attempt to disturb private property; thereby
proving that the Presidents Proclamation has
already produced wholesome effect in the de-
generate South.
While this was going on, the vigilant Mack
erel guard descended privately from back vim
dow, and made forced march to where the Con.
ic Section were Watching something which look.
ed like man in the Southern horizon-instant.
ly making known the audacious raid of the thev.
ing Confederacy, and asking whether the new
levies under the Executives last call were likely
to arrive early enough to take measures for the
prevention of the capture Of Washington.
While the question was in debate, my boy, the
beloved General of the Mackerel Brigade arrived
with his trunk and umbrella from Paris, and hav.
ing caused it to be teegraphed to all the reliable
morning journals that the Confederacy was now
in fair way to be captured alive, he at once
took measures to cut off the retreat of the latter.
Captain William Brown, with Company 8, Regi-
ment 8, was at once ordered to construct pom.
toon bridge across the river some miles below,
and watch it vigilantly day and night; Captain
Bob Shorty and Colonel Wohert Wobinsou, with
the Anatomical Cavalry, were dispatched to take
possession of railroad leading to Manassas;
Whilst Captain Samyule Sa-mitb, with the bal
ance of the Comic Section, was commanded to
make detour of three hundred miles, and en-
deavor to reach the invaded house before mid
winter set i'll.
All these movements were in accordance with
profound strategy, my boy, and cut off the Con-
federacy from retreat by every route in the
world, except the Insignificant one he came by.
Satisfied that the was going t. end in
about sixty days, after which we should have
time to defeat combined Europe, the Mackerel
guard FASTENED back to the domicil, which he
reached just in time to find the Coniederacy
topping his 60 cart with some kipdiiDg wood
from the cellar.
regret to say, my hoy-1 blush for my species
as make the incredible revelation-that upon
receiving the information of his surrounding
and probable strategic capture by the vigilant
Mackerel Brigade, the irreverent Confederacy
burst into hideous horse laugh, and at once
proceeded to appropriate the poor Mackerel
chaps own shoes and stockings. With the
deepest horror record, that he also tweaked
the Mackerel's nose.
81 did not intend this as permanent inva-
sion," says the impious Confederacy, as he re-
mounted his go-cart and turned his geometrical
Arabian towards the water again; "but have
| Just married daughter of South Carolina-one
of two Withstand reckoned that l needed some
things to set up housekeeping. Farewell, foul
! Messiah, says TIC COnIeueTdCv, rs lie sPiasueu
through the water to the opposite bank-''fare
thee well, and tell your iendsh ruler, that it is
somewhat impossible to conquer the Sunny
South"
The Mackerel chap gazed thougtfully after
the go-cart as it disappeared on the other side
of the balmy Awlkwyet stream, and says he,
Rail on, my errng brother; but if you'd only
stayed here one more week, you might not have
escaped thus for seven whole days Had the
army been insufficient to secure you" says the
Mackere to himself, 'had the army been Insult.
cient to secure you, why, there's the police"
Raids, my boy, are so intrinsically irregular
in their character, that no provision can be
me made for them in a regular army; hence they
are sometimes necessitated to take provisions
for themselves as they 60 on. 3D.
| Yours, radiantly, ORPHEUs c. KERR.
From the N. Y. Commercial Advertiser Oct. 10th.
Action Of the Episcopal Convention.
! The General Convention of the Protestant
! Episcopa Church last evening reached deci-