The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1862-09-26
Letter from Major Jack Downing.
WASHINGTON, Sept. 1862

I v
ehce. Our army, down In Virginny, has been
in CRATE strates lately, an if it hadn't been for
the miingtary strutegy it would have all been
taken prisoners Ses the Kernel to me, the 9TH
er day, ses he, ''Maier, what do you think that
milingtary strutegy consists in2' ''Wal," ses /,
:'Kernel it consists in gettin out Of your enemy's
way wen he's too much for you, an gettin in his
way wen you're too much for him" Ses |,
''Kernel, don't know whether that is down in
the books, but that's the common sense view of
the subject" ''Wal," ses Linkin, "whatever
struteey consists in, we don't seem to have u
bit of it, for we get in the enemy's way jest
wen he's too strong for us, an get out of his
way wen he amt too strong for us. I'm gettin
eenamost discouraged with this kind of milling
tary strutegy." '.Wal," ses |, "Kernel, you've
got too many Ginnerals an too many armies.
There's too many fellers, with more brass in
their faces than there is in their buttons, who
want to be the biggest toad in the puddle. Now,
there can't be but one big toad an SO there can't
be but one head Ginneral. You ought to make
one Commander-n-C Cheef, an make him take
the field, SO that he see for himself how mat
ters are gon. Ginneral Hallick, here in Wash
ington, amt the thing"
s'Wal," Majer, ''there is no use of crying over
split milk. The troops down in Vlrginny have
been roughly handled agin by the rebels, an have
got so mixed up that it will require CRATE deal
of strutegy to get them straitened out The
auestshin is, what is to be done!"
Jest as | was about to give the Kernel some
advice, who should come in but Sumnure an a
feller with white handkerchief around his neck,
an two or three other solenn-lookin9 chaps.
The feler in white kercher spoke up, an ses
he "Mr President, we're come to sympathize
with you in the nashin's affiicshin, for the Lord
has agn beat us with stripes-ah. Mr.. Presi-
dent, Pm chief Secretary Of the American and
Foreign Benevolent Society for Ameliorating
the Condishin of the Colored Race-ah-an |
have been appinted Checrman of a committee
to wait on you an express to you our opinions
in the present fearful crisis in our countrys his
tory.
''Our society, which is composed of all the
most pious maiden ladies in our town-ah-'
who are over forty years of age, an, therefore,
| may be considered wise and discreet, desire me
to express to you their deep conviction that God
will never bless our armies with victory-ah-
so long as you do not fight for the freedom of
our dearly beloved colored brethren-ah Our
Society, Mr. President, has given the condishin
You can Judge of the extent of our labor wen
inform you that the sisters of our Society
have distributed the past year to our colored
brethren in Liberia 500 flannel shrts-ah-600
wool socks-ah-10O Bibles-ah--l00 Tracts
onTemperance- toothpicks-ah--and
large supply of cologne WATERFALL
| ''We should have been glad to have supplied
the sufferin bondsman of the same oppressed
race in our own country, but the vile rebellion
of the Internal Shareholders has prevented. We
ask you now to proclaim liberty to the captives,
an 'let the people go'-ah. Do not let your
heart be hardened as Pharaohs was, but save
our land from sorrow, an our armies from fur
ther defeat by degree of Righteousness. Then
shall glory cover the land-ah'
believe I've got that speech down purity
nigh as the feller delivered it, for he spoke very
slow and stately, as if he was tryin to make an
impreshin. When he got thru, Linkin got up,
an ses he, "Mr Secretary, I'm kinder glad to see
you, and will only say that we need all the help
about these times that we can get, an if thought
the Lord would only help us lick the rebels,
wouldn't free the niggers An if | thought He
would help us by freein 'em would do that.
In fact, whatever do, an whatever | don't do,
do it, an don't do it, jest as | think the Lord
will be most likely to help us. The great thing
is to get the help of the Lord, an shall adopt
new views, on this pint, jest as far as l think
they are good views" When Linkin got thru,
pulled him by the coat-tail, an scs /, ''Kernel,
Seward himself could not haue beat that nom
committal speech" Ses he, ''Hush, Majer, don't
throw all the fat in the fire." jest then the fell
ler in the white handkerchief spoke up, an SEES
he, 'Let us pray" an at it he went. Ses he,
"Oh Lord, throw CRATE light upon the mind
of our Chief Magistrate-ah us victorys
over the rebs-all-give us this yere CRATE VIC
last yere-ah-A.lt crush the rebils with the
they all shuck hands, an went away.
After they had gone, ses the Kernel ses he,
ssMaer, that's wonderful pious chap" EYES,"
ses l, '.Kernel, I think he is in his way" but,
ses /, ssfndn f.lt with the Lord, bekase he don't
give us bigger victries, amt much like the Chris
tians of arly days" Ses /, ''his prayer for big
victries, reminds me of old Joe Bunker's prayer.
Joe was wicked old sinner who swore wus
than saleyur. One day he was a swarein' kos
he didn't hev better corn. Some one told him
be orter pray for good corn, if he wanted it.
So one day some one wos goin' long the road by
the old feller's corn field, and hearin' noise
they stopped, and who did the noise cum from
but the miserly old skinAint Bunker, who was
prayin. Ses he, 90, Lord give us good crop
of corn this yere, long ears, long as your arm,
not sich id little nubbins as we he'd last yere.'
"Now," ses I, "Kernel, l think thar's great
deal similarity tween them two prayers, and
/ think the Lord is jest as likely to answer one,
as t'other." Ses !, 'Kernel you could bust up
fifteen Unions castor than you could destroy sla-
very" Ses he, ':Majer, don't see into that
Exactly, and I'd like to know the reason why"