Daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1865, 1862-11-12
ornhsns Kerr,s Latest.
The Eleetions-The Presidents 81
ry-The hRClEere1 Brigade.

The EleetiOns-The Presidents StO-
ry-The MRckerel Brigade.
EDIroR T. T, The late election in New
York, my boy, has electrified everybody
except our Houest Abe, who still goes about
smiling, like long and amiRbIe sexton,
and continues TO save our distracted coun-
try after the manner of an honest man. On
Tuesday night, high moral Democratic
chap, of much watchseal, who had just re-
ceived dispatch all about the election,
went to see the Honest Abe, for the express
pupose of telling him that the Democratic
party had been born again, and was on the
point of protesting against everything
whatsoever, except the Constitution of our
forefathers. He found the Honest Abe
cracking some walnuts before the FIRE, my
boy, and says he:
1.-THE celebrated Democratic organ
ization, Of which / am Assistant Eugi-
neer, has carried the State of New York in
manner impossible TO express, and will
now proceed to demand of you a vigorous
prosecution of that unnatural strife in
which are involved our lives, our liberties
and the pursuit of happiness. We admire
to see your harmless honesty says the
chap, blandly. nand We believe you to be a
fresh egg but we protest against the arbi-
traly arrest of men which is patriots, only
conservatively Democratic and we insist
upon vigorous prosecution of COnstitu-
tioual hostilities against our misguided
brothers who are. now Offering irregular
opposition to the Government"
The Honest Abe cracked a walnut, and
says he; t,.5
"YOu say, neighbor, that the orgauiza-
tior still insists upon vigorous prosecu-
tion of the war2"
The Democratic chap Rliced toothpick
from the arm of the chair with his knife,
and says he: ......
"Thars the present platform on which
we are E plUri6us mum"
swell" !" says the Honest Abe, "I believe
that yOu mean well; but am reminded OF q
little story. h 'bF
"When 1 was practiciug law out in nli-
uois," said the Honest Abe, twisting the
| bow of his black necktie around from under
his left ear, "there was an old cock, with
two sons, living near me in a tumble-jown
old shanty. He lived there until half his
roof blew off one windy night, and then he
concluded to move to new house, where
the chimney didn't take up all the upper
story. On the day when he moved, he'd
got most all his traps changed TO the other
residence, andEhad sent one of his sons TO
see that they were all got safely indoors,
when suddenly u shower commenced to
come up. The old man and his other off
spring, who had stayed 10 hurry him, were
taking up a carpet from the floor at the
time the first dose of thunder cracked,
and the offspring says he, "Hurry up, old
crazy.bones, or we'll be ketched in the
rfreshet before you get up this here
rich fabric.' The stern parent needed
the admonition, and went ripping away the
carpet around the edges of the room until
be came near where the sHsprihg was
Standing, and there it stuck. He pulled,
bntit wouldn't come, and he says, says he:
'lPears to me that dod. rotted tack must be
a tenpenny nail--it hoIdsrou so.' You see,
the old screw was very blind without his
spees,H says the Honest Abe, buttoniug his
vest askew, "and he couldn't see just where
the tack was" Aoother peal Of thunder at
this moment made the irascible offspring
still madder, aud he says, says he. EYou
imisabul old cripple, IL you don't hurry up
we'll be ketchsd, tell your AS he made
this dutifal remark be went stamping TO the
window, and at the same moment the cam
tankerous tack came out, and the aged pa
rent went over on his back with the carpet
up to his chin. BE got up and busted, and
says he well, now, that is cur'ous-how
snddent it went Then he proceeded TO
rip away again, until he came near the
window, and there II stuck once more
The wild offspring SAW him tugging again,
aud it made him SO WEathy that be says,
says he why in thunder didn't you take
ont the nails first, you crooked old sinner,
you 2 It's enough to make me weep afresh
for the old woman, to see how you But
he didn't finish his observation; for, as
he walked toward where the hammer
lay, the tack came ont, aud the old 'un
went TO bed again under the carpet. Up
sprang the sad parent, splitting rags, and
Ia ava l1.-- tlIInII Nd. lkn.- crrlnna