The daily Evansville journal. (Evansville, Ind.) 1862-1863, 1862-09-15
0rpheus C. Kerr and General P0pe's
CamDaieU.


HE Campaign. d
Arriving near the celebrated Molasses
Junction, where a number Of Mackerels
were placing number of new cars and
locomotives ON the track-the object be-
ing to delude the Southern Confederacy
into taking ride in them, whes, it was
believed, the aforesaid Confederaey would
speedily be destroyed by one of those
/" "frightfnl accidents without which
day on any American railroad would be
a perfect Misunderstanding there, | say,
] took an immediate survey OF the APP
pointed field of strife
To the experienced civilian eye, my
boy, everything appeared to be in a state
the military genius of our generals could
maze much worse. On all sides, my
boy, beheld Mackerel chaps marching
and countermarching; falling back, re-
firing, retreating, and making retrograde
movements. Some were looking for
their regiments, whichhad become mixed
with other regiments; some we're insane
ly looking for their officers, as though
they did not know that the latter have
resided permanently in Washington ever
since the war commenced; some were
making calls on others, and here and
there might be seen squads of Confede-
racies picking up any little things they
might happen to find.
Finding the General of the Mackerel
Brigade lunching upon a bottle and tum-
bier near me, / saluted him, and says /:
"Tell me, my veteran, how it is that
you permit the Southern Confederacy to
meander thus within your ines?'
g The General looked toleratingly at me,
and says he: ir 4-o.--.. e
4 ~ have plan to entrap the Confede-
racy, and end this doomed rebellion at
one stroke Do you mark that long train
Of army wagons down there near my
quarters p s ss.r-. o+ -af
g Yes" says l, nervously.
= "Well, then, my nice little boy" says
the General cautiously, "Tll tell you
what my plan is, These wagons contain
the rations of our troops 1t is my pur-
pose to induce the celebrated Confedera-
cy to capture those wagons and attempt
to eat those rations. IF the Confederacy
will only do that" says the General,
ferily, ait will be taken sick on the spot,
and we shall capture it alive - s-- =
/ could not but feel shocked at this in
human artifce, my boy. The Southern
ers have indeed acted in a way to forfeit
all ordinary mercy, but still, we should
abstain from any retahatory act sayoring
of demoniac malignity. Our foes are at
least human beings.
Suppressing my horror, however, as
sumed practical aspect, and says 4:
But how are the Mackerel warriors
to subsist, my Napoleon, if you allow the
rations to goY
sas" Thunderl' says the General, hand
ing me paper from his pocket "They
arc to subsist exclusively on the enemy
just perusc this document, which / have
Just Illuminated"
Taking the paper, found it to be the
following '
PROCLAMATION.
/ WHEREAS, the matter of provisions is
great expense to the United States O
America, besides offering inducements
for unexpected raids on the part Of tn,
furnishing foeman; the Mackerel Brigade
is hereby directed to live entirely upor
the Southern Confederacy, eating hin
alive whenever found, and partaking o!
no other food
{ The Brigade will not be permitted t.
take any clothing with it on the march
being required henceforth TO dress ex
/ clusively in the habiliments of captured
Confederates.
We have done with retrograde move
ments. No more lines of retreat will b,
kept open, and henceforth the Mackere
Brigade is to make nothing but grea
captures.
BY order of the
GENERAL OF THE MACKEREL BRIGADE.
| Green Seal
This able document, my boy, pleaset
me greatly as an evidence that the wa
had indeed commenced in earnest; an,
though at that moment, / beheld SOM
half dozen Confederacies ransackinl
the tent where the General kept hi
mortgages, his bank account, and othe
Government property, felt that our foe
were to be summarily dealt with at last
An orderly having finally given motto
to the Confederacies rummaging within
our lines, to get to their proper places
in order that the battle might begin, tn
Anatomical Cavalry, under Capt Sam
yuie Sa-mith, made a headlong charg
upon body of foes who were destroyin,
bridge near the middle of the field
and succeeded in obliging them to re
main there. This brilliant moyemen
was the signal for general engag,
ment, and a regiment of Confederate
at once advanced within our lines an
inquired the way to Washington.
Having given them the desired info
nation, and allowed number of othe
similar regiments to take position b,
tween the Mackerels and the capital, tn
General gave orders for the Comic Sc,
ton and the Orange County Howitzel
to fall cautiously back, in order that th
remaining Confederates might get b.
tween us and Richmond.
You will perceive by this movemen
/, my.boy, we cut the enemy's forces con
: pletely in two, thus compelling him {
attack us either in the front or in Il
rear, giving him no choice of any otht
operation save flank movements. Or
plans being thus perfected, Captain Vi
liam Brown, with Company 3, Regimei
/. s. WAS ordered to charge into woo