Delaware gazette. [volume] (Delaware, Ohio) 1855-1886, 1862-08-08
VOL. Xiv.
CONFESSIONS OF A coQUETTE.
BY MYRA YANE

beauty, and hate azure eyes, and rosebud lips
and sunny hair? Years ago l learned this
for pair Of blue eyes stole the light Of my
life away, and mass Of golden curis futteres
between me and happiness. 1t is an old grave
shut up and sodded over; bur I will go bach
and open it tonight; for l am lonely. Ny
head is giddy with the sound of music and the
glare of gas, and my heart is sick with gay
words spoken by those whose eyes were wild
with sorrow and gayer laughs. through which
like the fall of clOds on coffin, struggles mp
The ring Of death. How many broken hearts
are there here tonight, wrapped up and hid
den beneath satin robes and blazing jewels
and bewildering smiles There Is one, know
1 feel it beating. Shall :slI you its story
will leave the giddy dance and the unholy
mirth, and shut myself up in this tiny room,
at the door of which lay off my jewels and
smiles.
Struggling up from the days of my infancy,
comes memory of walking about in great
mansion, nestled down among the bills, like a
song-bird in the forest, for only beauty was its
surroundings. All the day long i used to
chase the butterflies down the dancing stream,
or gather great clusters of snow-white lilies,
to wreathe over the high, stiff parlor mantle;
or sit in the little clematis arbor, and dream
of sky that was bluer than that ulrolled
above me, and love that was brighter than
any that ever was found within those cold
stone walls.
had no father or mother Far back as 1
could remember. there came no vision Of a
meek, gentle face or moist, loving eyes, or
warm earess of love and when 1 asked my
aunt how long it had been since they died, she
would only say, in an absent kind of way, "Oh,
lopg time ago" And with a little smother
ed sigh, I would go back to the dream, or
chase the butterflies over the sweetest flowers.
aud the days went out and the days came in as ever
they come and GO
Wearing robe Of summer green, mantle of winter
snow"
/ must go to school, they said and when
was dczen years old, there was agreat trunk
filled with l didn't know what, and was put
into coach, wondering why the tears swelled
up into my aunt's eyes for | didn't cry then.
learned that at school. where learned many
other things-some well enough in their way,
and some it had been better for me had !
never known.
There we're strange looks aud covert smiles
at the old-ashioned dresses, that didn't un-
derstand then. The old-fashioned dresses
were worn out after awhile-but the friend
ships that were not Offered when wore them.
were not accepted when wore Others gilmore
modern style and saw the end of my days
of boarding school life, without having sought
or won a single friend. My uncle came for
me then he came with a bowed form and
Grape on his hat, aud took my hand in his
very tFemblingly, as the tears. one after
another, trickled down bis furrowed face.
"She is gone, Myra gone and we are
alone-all alone"
'.Who, uncle ?a
"Your aunt Up yonder, Myra,"
And be pointed where white, ghOatly clouds
we're sailing over the far-of sky.
dead, uncle? Aunt dead ?"
mo. not dead Myra-not dead ouly gone
with the pale boatman over the bridgless
river; only gone to a land of faireF skies and
Furer love than this /; to a land where the
flowers never close and the summer is forever. F"
That was the land of my dreams. Was ii
true that ! should not see the land of my
longing with these earthly eyes T Was it only
in heaven that peace and sunshine ever linger-
cd?
"We will go to Brighton, Myra I can't
stay in the old house when she isn't there.
She was my first love, Myra-the one lnFe of
my life and 1 feel now that, in our devotion
TO each other, we were hardly just TO you.
We have loved you, Myra but, somehow,
feel that your little joys and sorrows were not
as they should have been-a part of our care.
| bad not felt, until now, how hard it was to
be alt ne.n
took his hand in both of mine, and wept,
| hardly knew why. had meyer loved my
aunt had never loved any one, for no one
had ever asked me to but tie low words of
sorrow we're so much the echo of my own soul,
in its long quest for sympathy, that the tears
would come. Poor Uncle Warren His heart
was much wider and more tender than l had
thought it but had never crept within it,
for ] never knew there was any room for me.
But might / not now? Might 1 not almost
fill the place that aunt Warren had filed
It might have been so, had be been left with
us but when the city spires were all that
rose against the arching sky, again came the
boatman pale, and took him away through the
unseen waters.
| had yet an aunt-the last of my kindred
and to her care l vas left. Gay guests
were ever in the rooms, for my aunt was
wealthy, and my cousins were beau tiful and
l used to sit all alone in the shadow of the
curtains, wishing for just one to love me. AS
the unfolding of a heavenly flower, comes the
memory of June day when hondsome man
knelt at my feet and called me beautiful
knelt and asked me to love him.
What answer should ! make him 1 did
not know but bade him go away then and
come again on tomorrow. And when the
last echo Of his footsteps had died away, ran
up to my little room, locked out everything
but the sunshine, and set down to think.
And he had stopped to call me beautiful
he, the noble, the gifted And stood by the
mirror, and put back the curls Of midnight
hair, and gazed long and scarchingly at tie
face that met me. There was a pair of
dark, flashing eyes; a white face, that no winds
could fan into a rosrhue; lips little to full to
be naughty, aud mass of black hair, that
might have been braided into diadem. Was
it beautiful? He had said so! Did I love
him The piercing eyes that saw, softened
and l pressed my hands close oyer my heart,
to shut in its throbbings; and then the tears
came--tears of happiness.
Did love him? Tonight l ask the ques-
ton. And the eyes / see are wild, and the
lips l see are compressed and again l CLASP
my hands close over my heart, and wish the
tears would come. Oh the bliss of the
beautiful long ago, when the light Of love
came to my eyes, and the thrill of happiness
to my heart.
OH the darkness of that night, that came
like an avengiDg soul on the full glory of lfes
morning.