Cincinnati daily press. [volume] (Cincinnati [Ohio]) 1860-1862, 1862-02-04
LOSING AND WINNING.
THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF AN
ORPHAN.
WRITTEN BY HERSELF.



many hours he could live. Neither Of us
left him for moment except occasionally,
when one or the other would steal away, to
whisper few words of comfort to poor lit
tie Bella, who was kept in distant wing
of the house in order to be removed from
the danger Of infection. But we could not
60 out Of the room without those restless,
preternaturally bright eyes missing us in a
moment, and then the little weak voice
would wail-"Mamma, Gerty, don't leave
Andy, please" So we watched over him
constantly together, neither sleeping, eating
nor weeping.
1t was the afternoon of the fourth day
since Mrs. Lincoln had dispatched her let
ter. change had passed over Andrews
face, sudden and fearful. We knew too
surely what it portended. He was dying.
In few moments his soul would 90 forth,
and leave the fair little body lying upon the
pillows still and tenantless. Katherines
eyes met mine, with q look Of stony, i'm.
movable wretchedness in them that fairly
chilled me-
ITO think" said she, "that be will not be
here-that he can never see poor little An
drew again alive Gertrude, this is my
work"
knew the step that came at that very in
stant, so hurriedly across the hall. So did
she, for she clasped her hands tightly upon
her breast as if to hold her heart from
breaking. She looked as white as a marble
statue and as fair. could see that, even
in the midst of my sickening anguish over
the boy whom l loved as if he were my
own. l do not think that Andrew Lincoln
o oked at her as he crossed the threshold.
think he saw nothing but the little wan,
death stricken face upon the pillows. He
sp rang to the bedside and knelt down with
despair; he had recognized the impress on
the pallid brow.
Do dying eyes see more clearly than liv-
ing ones? Andrew was nine years old
now he had been only four when he saw
his father last, and yet his face lighted up
with a sudden, glad glow of recognition
"Papa, papa!"-he piped the words in his
clear boyish treble, as ioyously as had
ever heard him speak. He stretched up
his arms and his father caught him to the
bosom that, for FIVE years, had longed so
vainly for the touch of that little head.
"Papa, papar' and the face and eyes
frightened with o radiance as of dawning,
the pale, quivering lips sought the fathers
lips bending to meet them-a shiver ran
along the slender limbs, and then the golden
head dropped backward. Andrew Lincoln's
boy was dead
Katherine saw it, and the energies so long
taxed gave way at last. She fell at her
husbands feet in death-like swoou. lie
kissed the white, still face ere he lifted her.
"Poor KatherineW l heard him murmur.
Was there quiver of love in his tones, or
was it only pity?
HHad we not better take her into the next
room?. She ought not to be here when she
comes to herself" l said forgetting at the
moment how strangely my voice would fall
upon his ears. had been standing in the
shade of the d-curtains and he had not
eeen me before.
"You, Gertrude!" The words, with their
accent of questioning surprise, came as if
involuntarily from his lips, and then
neither Of us spoke again while we carried
his wife into the next room, and busted
ourselves in restoring her. I only waited
until she opened her eyes, and putting the
hair from her white face, sat up and looked
at her husband, before | went away from
them. did not stop to think | knew it
would not be wise or safe. | went at once
TO Mr.. Wentworth. who was with Bella to
tell him of Andrews death and Mr.. Lin.
coins arrival had occupation for
while in soothing the little girl. Then with
my own hands | made ready my boy-mine
by the love bore him-for the grave.
brushed the soft curling hair round the
still face, restored now to more than the
beauty of life, and frozen into the last and
sweetest smile of all. When had arranged
all things, l went again to his parents,
They were sitting near together upon the
sofa, and Katherine was repeating, in
hroIyau NTH he o11 ha Iato;lo 90
those last sad days. Even then, she thought
of me with her usual tender consideration.
When | went into the room she said:
"This is Miss Hamilton, who has been to
me the dearest and truest Of friends. We
can never thank her enough for all she has
done for Andrew. He loved her scarcely
less than he loved his mother"
How strange it seemed to have him speak
to me in such words, constrained yet CRATE
full, as husband would naturally use to
his wifes friend, who had been kind to his
dead child. He had uttered such different
ones when we met last l was weak,
know, but l could not command myself
sufficiently to answer him. only said
81 have dressed our darling now. l
thonght you would wish to see him."
They rose and went together into the
still room where lay their dead. | stayed
alone. Even my love and my grief gave
me no claim on that consecrated hour.
Andrew had died on Thursday. On Sat
urday afternoon he was to be buried.
had passed Friday in my own room, keep
ing Bella with me the most of the time.
The poor child was almost frantic at the
loss Of her brother, and it was we'll for me
to have some one beside myself to think of
and to comfort. | believe Mrs. Lincoln
passed that long, dreary day for the most
part alone. Much of the time coul hear
her husbands restless steps pacing along
on the piazza, and once | knew he went
away for solitary walk.
1t was Saturday morning. Andrew had
been put into his little casket, and | had
just gathered basket full of white and
sweet-scented flowers to strew about him.
stole noiselessly into the room where he
lay. l thought no one else was there, but
when had gone up to the coffin | saw, in
the dim light, Andrew Lincoln, sitting mo-
iionless at his head. He looked up and
our eyes met.
'GOd has taken him, Gertrudel am writ
en- desolate."
There was such a wild pathos in his
tones. They went to my soul. How
longed TO comfort him.
"Not desolate," cried, "surely not desc
late. Bella is left you and your wife'-
and then l went en-, carried quite out of
myself, half forgetful of even lhe presence
nf fha daad in NV ooa,;..... t.-.-