The Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1837-1867, 1862-11-28
From the New York Sunday Murcury.
Orph eus C. Herr on the Elections.

EDITOR I. T.: The late election in New
York, my boy, has electrified everybody ex-
cept our Honest Abe, who still goes about
smiling, like long and amiable sexton, and
continues to save our distracted country after
the manner of an honest man. On Tuesday
night, high and Democratic chap, of much
watch seal, who had Just received a dispatc b
all about the election, went to see the Hon
est Abe, for the express purpose of telling
him that the Democratic party had been born
again, and was on the point Of protesting
against everything whatsoever, except the
Constitution OF our forefathers. He found
the Honest Abe cracking some walnuts be-
fore the fire, my boy. and says he:
"The celebrated Democratic organization
of which am Assistant Engineer, has car
ried the state of New York in manner im-
possible to express, and viii now proceed to
demand of you vigorous prosecution of
that unnatural strife in which are involved
our lives, our liberties, and the pursuit of
happiness. We admire to see your harmless
honesty" says the chap, blandly. and We
believe you to be fresh egg but we pro-
test against and arbitrary arrest of men
which is patriots, only conservatisely Demo
cratic; and we insist upon vigorous prose-
cution of constitutional hostilities against our
misguided brothers who are now offering ir-
regular OF position to the government
The Honest Abe cracked walnut, and
says he " You say, neighbor, th-. the Or
ganization still insists on vigorous prose
cution of the war;"
The Democratic chap sliced a toothpiek
from the arm of the chair with his knife aid
says he: That is the present platform on
which We are E pluriJus unum.
well, says the Honest Abe, d" believe
YOU mean we'll; but am reminded of a lit
tie story.
"When was practicing law out in Ili-
nois. SAYS the Honest Abe. twisting the
bow of his black necktie around from under
his left ear. there was an old cock, and two
sons, living near me, in a tumble-down old
shanty. He lived there until half his roof
blew off one windy night, and then he con-
cluded to move to a new house, where the
chimney didn't take up all the upper story.
On the day when he moved, he'd got most
all his traps changed to the other residence,
and had sent one of his sons to see that
they were all got safely indoors. when sud
denly shower commenced to come up. The
old man and his other offspring, who had
STAYED to hurry him, were taking up carpet
from the floor at the time the first dose of
thunder cracked. and the offspring says he,
Hurry up, old crazy bones, or we'll be ketch-
ed in the freshet before YOU get up this here
rich fabric The stern parent needed the
admonition. and went ripping away the carpet
around the Edges of the room, until he came
near where the offspring was standing and
there it stuck. lie pulled hut ii wouldn't
come, and he saws, saws he: Pears TO me
that dod rotted tack must be tenpenny nail
it holds on so.' You see the old screw
was very blind without his specss," says the
Honest Abe, buttoning his yes. askew. " and
he couldn't see just where the tack was
Another peal of thunder at this moment
made the irascible offspring still madder. and
he saws. saws he: You misabul old cripple,
if YOU don. hurry we'll be ketched,I tell you :.
As he made this dutiful remark he went
stamping to the window, and at the same
moment the cantankerous tack came out and
the aged parent went over on his back with
the carpet up to his chin. He got up and
busted, and says ne: We'll nov that is cur
cus-how suddent II went Then he pro
cee,led to ri,, away until he came near the
window, and there i. stuck once more. Tie
wild offspring saw him tagging again. and If
made him SO wrathy that he says, says he:
WHY in thunder didn't you take ont the
nails first, you crooked old sinner, YOU Its
enough to make me weep afresh Cor the old
woman to see how But he didn't finish
his observation for as he walked toward
where the hammer lay, the tack came out
and the old 'un went TO bed again urder The
!, carpet Up sprang the sad parer.:. splitting
rags, and he says. says he: We'll now how
, cur'ous-to think it should come so sud
/ dent. Still on he went, until the carpet va
all up from around the edges; but when he
tried to drag i, away on his shoulder, ii Wa:
, fast somewheles vet. R-r-rum-bum-
| boom, went the thunder; and says the infu
f rated offspring, says he: well l never di
e see such an old blundering dad as You be-
e Well lie ketched in the rain as shure q
e grasshoppe.s; and all because you didn'
: take nv advice about the hammer in tn
i. first place The poor old 'un tugged, an
r pulled, and parted, and says he: We
now that is curious, l swun to massy. Their
b can't be no tacks way out in the middle Q
t the floor here, can they9' To make sure tn
S old blind pate was going down on his Knee
to take mouse-eye view, when all OF sud
den he gave start, and he says, says ne =
Why, pears to me, Sammy, you're aa"a''
a on the carpet yeursslf' And SO ne was
\ 80 ne was," says Honest Abe, smiling Int
Il the fire, "and that was the reason why me ca!