Cleveland morning leader. [volume] (Cleveland [Ohio]) 1854-1865, 1862-02-01

his forte, without he should evinco g tast,
for pinching the baby TO make II yell, Of
loose coppsrS about the house have tendon.
cy to freeEo TO his hands, and when he man.
ifests talent for lying himself out Of hi
difficulties. Then take him promptly Y
task, hs iS only Visiting TO get little oldsl
10 secede. Office seekers came in for men,
ton. The panic at Bull Run, he said, wal
reported 10 have arisen liom the fact thai
just about the time we were gaining the vic.
tory, the rumOr was started in the field that
there were three vacant places in the New
York Custom House.
The ouly "naturar" things in the world, he
averred, werO fools and babies. Not that he
had any want Of affection for babies in thus
setting them down; he considered it the
height of earthly bliss to wear white panta-
looms and hold baby eating mOlOsses can
dy. Nature is better than art, any Son ol
Malta will tell you so, but we have very few
things according to nature. The modern
drama is very unnRLural-real sentiments
and passions are by it murdered as cold
bloodedly as Duncan was murdered by Mac
beth, an affair which he remarked, by the
way, was not exactly in the best style of hos
pitality, to invite friend to ones house and
then murder him in bod. Really, if such q
thing we're to happen in his house he should
feel very much mortified about it.
"Msjams," }" and so-called Reformers gem
orally, received consideration. This class Of
people, he said, are opposed to warm bread,
opposed to the Bible, opposed to razOrs and
soap, and particularly opposed to work. He
had heard of one of them who in summer
time took kettle of boiling water from the
stove and waited for it TO cool that he might
get drink, being too lszy TO go to the spring
for water.
England, he said, still claims to be our
mother, If it be so, we had better be or
phans. England has been mother-in-lsw
to us, and has been what a mOther-in-law is
generally deemed to tObs-troublesOme. It has
been said that one reason why Adam should
always have been perfectly happy was, that
he had no mother-in-lsw. WedO not need
England's sympathy; we have men and
money enough to fight ourselves our good
cause, without either the sympathy of Eng
land or the sword of Garibaldi. The peace
party at the North he spoke Of as pitiful
set of White-livered wretches, who blGndly
babble of peace when there is no peace, and
can be none until rebellion is utterly crushed.
They sneakingiy hint at compromise, even
while the red knife of the foe is seal ching
for the heart of the Republic,
The lecturer here diverged to consider abb
surd people. He told of young widow,
who, directing the funeral OF her husband,
took a lest sad farewell of the clay
face, and then said to the pall-beaEers,
''now you just wait till get my things on
and then we'll start this man right along"
She was related to the man who borrowed
a silver watch to wear at the funeral of his
vile, polished it very bright, hourished it
repeatedly in the church, and then at the
grave, with q most satisfied air consulted it,
and reported in a very audible tone to those
about him, 'fit was just twenty minutes past
three when wei got her in" Equally ludi-
crous was the query of the countryman if
the siamese twins were brothers. Butsueh
as these are pleasingly absurd: some are
disagreeably absurd, as for instance, the man
who left the hall during delivery of his
lecture-that man, he was certain, would
come to bad end. The people who owe
money came in for a proper share Of con-
and were most humorously
dealt with. COurting and matrimony, he
thought, might very properly have had
place in his lecture, if his subject were not
"The Children in the Wood, "but this Obsta-
Gle did not deter him from treating of these
pleasant relations, which he did with not
less good sense than humor.
The "Children in the Wood, )" he stated in
conclusion, were very excellent, respectable
little creatures, but their history being
somewhat mythical, he was unable to as
certain much about them, and had therefore
decided not to write lecture concerning
them at this time, but would probably do
so sometime in the future.
The lecture was received throughout with
unmistakable delight. Mr.. Brown lectures
in Toledo this evening.