Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1862-02-15
Fact, Fancy and Fun.

Fact, Fancy and Fun.
Leaning and wealth are often best
used when least shown.
One of the best things for man
to invest in is the good will Of his fel-
lows.
ducks enter water for dipers rea-
sons, and come out for sun-dry mo-
tlyes.
When is an angler q bright red
color? When he's cochin eel (cochi.
neaO.
A wise man prafts more by the
experience Of others than q fool does
by his own. : Vs., y
Why was Galileo an anxious faith
er? Because he doubted the move
ments of the sun.
Why is a spendthrift's purse like
thunder cloud? Because it is con-
tinually lightning.
Why is not Dickens q straight
forward writer? Because he wrote all
Of t'oist (Oliver Twist)
Why do fishermen possess strange
medical powers? They never attempt
ty cure fish till it is dead.
The most miserable pettifoggins
i'll the world is that of man in the
court Of his own conscience.
1t is fortunate for Fortune that
she is blind, else she might blush to
behold the fools she patronizes.
After Adam grew tired Of nam
ing his numerous descendants he said.
=" let the rest be named Smith"
Why is champagne like a tobacco
pipe Because If it is sham pain it
must be a mere sham (meerchaum).
Value the friendship of him who
stands by you in the storm; swsrms Of
insects surround ! You in thie sunshine:
-JPhose who lack a good natural
character may be sura they cannot long
sustain, without detection, an artificial
one.
What is the connection between
the bark of dog and the bark of
tree ? One is bough and the other 6o,o:
aooac.
Men lcQis at the faults of otlors
with telescope-at their own with
the same instrument. reversed, or not
at all.
The Persians have saying that
Ten measures of talk were sent down
upon the earth, and the women took
nine."
"A smile may be bright while the
heart is sad. The rainbow is beauti-
full in the aiF While beneath 9p q9 is the moan.
ing Of the sea.
Plenty Is as distinct from waste,
fulness as whole sack fill Of wheat
is from q sack with hole in it for the
wheat to run through.
The cheerful are the busy. When
trouble knocks at the door or rings the
bell, he will generally retire if you send
him word you are engaged"
=" Pat, you are wearing your stock
ings wreng side outward" "Och,
and don't | know it, to be sure; there
is a hole on the other side, there is.''
Those are the most valuable that
are the most serviceable; and those
arc the greatest, not that have the most
talents, but that use those they possess
tic mos. nsefully.
-Teo many Wesi Pointers poiy
The wong game. Fhey are sharp
enough in scenting out hostility to slave,
ry, but when that divine institution
comes into peril, they become settlers
and tarriers.
"A coguette is young LADY OF more
beauty than sense more accomplish
ments than learning; mere charms Of
person than graces Of mlnd more ad-
mirers than friends; more fools than
wise zen for attendants.
The drinking water at Chicago is
said to be so full of fish that the efforts
of the fire department to put the fires
out only add fuel to the fames-the
fish oil in the water makes the confia-
grafton ten times worse. Rather fishy,
that.
"A man who marries a rich wife
must expect occasionally to have It
flung in his teeth. We have heard .
report, however, which we think must
have silenced such thrusts. a gentle
man who had the misfortune to marry
a fortune was once exhibiting the fne
points of his horse 70 F friend. NY
horse saa tho vie; "my money
bought that herse.:.' Yes, madam"
! JJe,pEed the hasEaad, bowling, "and
your money hallg3H me-.