Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1862-09-24
aaarGait.
GENERAL POPES CAMPAIGN,

ARRIVING near the celebrated Molasses
Junction, where a number Of Macksrels were
placing number Of new cars and loeomo-
tives on ;he track-the object being to delude
the Southern Confederacy into taking ride
in then, when, it was believed, the aforesaid
=. Conlederacy would speedily be destroyed by
one Of those lrightfh accidents" without
which = day on any American railroad would
be a perfect anomaly--arriring there, say,
took an immediate survey Of the appointed
esld Of strife.
2 Es the inexperienced civilian eye, my boy,
everything appeared to be in state Of cha
etc confusion, which nothing but the military
genius Of eur generals could make much
.wOnse. On all sides, my boy, I beheld Mack
ereI chaps marching and oOuntermarching ;
falling back, retiring, retreating, and making
Tetrograde movements. Some were looking
for their regiments, which had become mixed
with other regiments; some were insaneIy
looking for their officers, as though they did
not know that the latter have resided perma-
nently in Washington ever since the war
commenced; some were making calls on 9TH
sers and here and there might be seen squads
Of COnfederacies picking up any little things
they might happen to find,
Finding the general of the Mackeral Bri-
gade lunching upon bottle and tumbler near
me, I saluted him, and says I:
Tell me, my veteran, how it IS that You
permit the Southern Coniederacy to meander
thus within your iines?7
The general looked toleratingly at me- and
says he;
I have a plan to entrap the COufederacy,
and end this doomed rebellion at one stroke.
Do you mark that long train of army wagons
dewn there near my quarters ?"
+" Yes says 1, nervOusly.
Wen then, my nice little boy" says the
general, cautiously. IN tell you what my
plan is Those wagons contain the rations
of our troops. It is my purpose to induce
the celebrated Confederacy to capture those
wagons and attempt to eat those ratiOns. If
the Confederaey viii only do that, says the
general, fercsly, dit viii be taken sick on the
spot, and we shall capture it alive"
could not but feel shocked at this inhu-
man artifce, my boy. The southerners have
indeed acted in way to forfeit all ordinary
mercy, but still, we should abstain from any
-retsliatory act savoring of demoniac maligni-
ty. Our foes are at least human beings.
Suppressing nay horror, however, I assum-
ed q practical aspect, and says I:
but how are the Mackerel warriors to
sabsist, my Napoleon, II you allow the ratiOns
to gOfp 5.
Thunder !" says the General, handing me
paper from his pocket. They are to sub
rist exclusively on the enemy Just peruse
this document, which have just fulmina-
ted"
Taking the paper, found it to be the fol-
lowing
PROCLAMATION.
WaERE4s, The matter of provisions Is a
great expense to the United States Of Amer
lea, besides Offering inducements ior unex-
psctsd raids On the part Of the famishing toe
man; the MaeksEel Brigade IS hereby direct
ed 70 I've entirely upon the Southern Con-
fedensy. eating him alive wherever found,
end PtrsaEing Of no other food.
The Brigade VIII not be permitted to take
Eny clothing with Il on the march, being re-
quired hencefOrth to dress exclusively in the
habibments Of captured Coafederates.
e We have done with FetrOgrsde moTements-
No more lines OF retreat vii be kept open
and henceiOrth the Maokerel Brigade is TO
make nothing but great captures,
By order Of the
-sla1- GEyERAl OF 4HE MAoKan BRIGADE
IGreen SeaL
This able document my boy, pleased me