The Hancock Jeffersonian. [volume] (Findlay, Ohio) 1857-1870, 1862-06-06
How sut Lovegood,s Dad Ac ted uo...


How Sut Lovegood's Dad Ac ted Uoss
"lold that boss to the yearth!
"He's spreaden' his tail to fly
nowl"
Keep him whar he is!''
"Woa, shavetail!"
These and like expressions were
addressed to queer-loooking, long
legged, short bodied, email headed
white haired, hog.eyed, funny sort
Of a genius, fresh from some second
hand clothing store, and mounted
on "Tarpoke," a nick-tailed LONG
poor boss, hatl-brandy, half-devil
and enveloped all over in a perfect
net work of bride, reins, cruppers
martingales, straps, surcingles, red
furretin, who reined up in front o
Pat Nack's grocery among a crowc
OF wild mountaineers, iull OF fight
and bad whiskey.
''l say you darned ash'carts, iis
keep your shirts on, will ye! You
never seed raal hoss ill | rode up.
Tarpoke is ist mex to the best boss
that ever shelled nubbins, and he's
dead as a still'worm, poor old Tick
tail!'
"What killed him, Sut?" said ar
anxious inquirer.
"Why, nuthin', you tarnal fooll-
He iist died-ded standin' up. a
that. Warn't that good pluck?-
Froze stiif-no not that, adzicly
but starved fust, and then froze af
terward, so stiff, that when dad an
me pushed him over, he jist stucl
out 80, (spreading his arms ant
legs0 like u carpenter's bench, auc
80 we waited seventeen days for him
" thaw afore We could skin him.
Well, thar we was-dad an me-
Counting on his tingers) Dad an
me, Sal an Jake, (Fool Jake, we
used to call him for short, An Phin
ess en- Simeon, an Jonas an Char
lotesnn. an 'Calline Jane, an Cssbu:
Henry Clay, an Noah Dan Webster
an me an the twin gals, an Cath
ripe Second, an Cloopatry Antony
an Jane Lind, an Tom Bullion. an
the baby, an marin herself, and, all
left without a hoss to crap with
That was a nice mess for a spectacle
family to be slashin' about in, warn'l
it2 | bedarned il | didn't feel like
stealin' hoss sometimes Well,
we waited an rested, an waited un,
til well into strawberry time, hopin'
that some stray boss mout come
along, but dog my cats, ef eny snch
luck at that eyer comes whar old dad
ls, he's go drafted mean, an lazy an
ugly, an savage, an triainw
swell, one mite, dad he lay awake
all mite snortin' an rolin' an
whisperin' at man, an next mornir
sez be:
'Sut, III tell you what we'll do
I'll be hoss myself, and pull the
plow, while you drive me, and we'll
break up cornground, and then the
old quilt CHATS marm) and the brats
kin plant it or let it alone, jist as they
durn please!"
So ont we goes to the paw-paw
thicket, and peeled q right smart
chance OF bark, and nam and me
made gears for dad, and they be-
come him nightly; then be would
have bride, 80 | gets an old um.
berella what | found-it's little
fcrked piece OF iron, sorter like onto
pitchtork ye know-and wo bent
and twisted it sorter into bride
bit, small shape, dad wanted il
kurb, as he said he hadn't worke
for some time, and he might sorter
feel his oats and go to cavortin. y
Well, when we got the bride oil
fixed on dad, he chomped the Bit
jlst like a hoss, (he always was a
most complicated burned old tool,
eny how, and nam always said so
when he warn't about then | put
on the gears, and out dad and ne
goes to the field, a leading dad by
the bride, and totin' the gopher
plow on my back. When we come
to the fence, let down a gap and
made dad ihad--be wanted to jump
the fence on ell foprs, boss way.
hitched him to the gopher, and
away we went, dad leanen' forward
to his pullin' right peart, and we
made sharp plowin,' dad goin' rite
over the bushes and sprouts. same af
raal boss, the only difrence is he
went on two legs.
"Presently we cum 10 q sassafrac
patch, and dad, to keep up his kar,
acter as hoss, bulged square into
il, and tore down a hornets nest
nigh onto as big as a hoss' head
and all the tribe kivered him right
strate. He Sared and kicked once
or twice, and fotched squeal wus
nor ary boss in the district, and so
into runnin' away jist as natral al
ever you seed. I let 20 the lines
and hollered, 'Woa, dad, woa!' bu
you might az well have said woa tt
locomotive. Ge whillikns! hoo