The Wyandot pioneer. (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1853-1868, 1862-08-22
Nnmprpns.
THE SHORT couarsH1p.


had, in consequence, tumbled down and
rolled into the kennel. He had not gone
many yards further when he found an old
woman very nearly in the same circum-
stances 1t Immediately struck Mr.. l..
that this was some poor old couple, who,
overcome with the fatigues of the day,
had INDUCED too freely in some restora-
tive beverage, whether Hodges or
Deady's the historian does not say. Full
of this idea, and animated by his own
charitable disposition, Mr.. L. soon made
arrangements for the reception of the poor
couple into a neighboring public house,
where the landlord promised that the
senseless pair should be undressed and
placed in a warm, comfortable bed.
To bed they were put. Mr.. L. left them
lying side by side, snoring in concert, and
likely TO pass together more harmonious
night than perhaps would have been the
case, had they possessed the full enjoy
ment Of their senses. l.. journeyed home
wards, filed with the satisfaction alislng
from the performance of kind deed. and
never reflectd that there was possibility
of his having joined pair whom the laws
of God had not made one. The fact was,
that the old man and the old woman were
perfect strangers to each other, and their
being found in similar situation was
purely accidental. In London, however
extraordinary it may appear, many poor
| folks get drunk at night, especially Satur-
day night, and what is not less wonder
full, they are often in this state unable to
preserve their balance--the laws of grav-
! ity exert their inhunce, and the patient
rolls into the kennel. Soundly-soundly
did this late united couple sleep and snore
till morning-when the light broke in
upon them, and disclosed the ;ecret. I'm
agine the. CONSERVATION of the old lady
when the fumes of intoxication were dis
sipated, and she opened her eyes upon her
sleeping partner:-where she was, or how
she had been put there, she knew not
1t was clear she was in bed with man,
and that was an event which had never
happened to her before,--so she set up
scream and reused the old gentleman,
whose astonishment was not a jot less
than the old lady's. She sat on end in
bed, staring at him; he moved himself in
to similar situation, and riveted his eyes
upon her, and SO they remained for a few
instants, both full Of wondermeut. At
4 last it struck the poor lady that this was
some monster of man, who had sue
ceeded in some horrible design upon her
honor; the idea in moment gave her the
look and manner of fury; she flung out
of bed and roared aloud to the admiration
of all the inmates of the house, who At
) tracted by the screams, were already
peeping in at the door Of the room
''Make me an honest woman thou wretch
she cried, VILLAIN that thou art,-make
an honest woman Of me, OR III be the
death of thee" down she sat upon the
bed stocks, and as she attempted to dress
) herself, she interlarded her occupation
with calling for vengeance upon her hor
, rible seducer, who sat trembling at the
: other side of the bed, vainly attempting
in his fright to insinuate his legs into hi:
r old tatteled breeches. The landlord a
3 last interfered with the authority of hi:
f station; and, on inquiry, found that nc
3 breach had been made which could mo-
/ be easily repaired. The old gentleman
e was asked if he had any objection to taxi
/. his fair bedfellow for a helpmate during
the remainder of his life; he sts.mmereo
out his acquiescence as well as he could
and the enraged virgin consented te
! smooth down her anger on satisfaction
being made to her injured honor. The
bargain was soon struck; the happy pai
were bundled off to church amidst The
laughing shouts of the mob, where /;
parson waited to make good the mattel
too precipitately formed by our charitabl.
friend.
G VERY CooL-A gentleman on a visi
: to Washington couple Of years ago
g opened the door of the Senate Chambe
and was about to pass in, when the door
r keeper asked .--...
: care you privileged member 90
y 'What do you mean by that % asket
e the stranger.
S ga Governor, an ex-member of Con
II gress. or foreign minister" answered
e the door keeper. rsr to
y The stranger replied that he was &
IS minister.
d From what court or country ~ asket
= the official. @
o Pointing up. the stranger replied
e .sfrom heaven, sir.''ss a ass
j, To this, the door-keeper waggishly re
i Al Ill. Il