Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1862-12-16
sergeans DRAKE ON fhe Vyo.


orpheus c. Kerr, II his last letter to the
New York Sunday Mercury. relates the
effect Of 4 stringent order which sereean,
O'Paks Issued -
As aske il practice to pay all nv
honest debts. my boy, and have never ia,
geilated 3 person Of African descent. /
conio not properly come under the head of
Chivair1 in an American dictionary.
though ! might. possibly come under it's
feet 10 the "Union as il was," yet have
that IN my nature which revolts at the
thought q war against women, and am
suffcientl5 cbivalrous to defend any cause
whose effects are crinoline. The bell,shap.
ca siructure called woman. my boy, was
created expressly to conquer unresIstipg
aaYersaries; to win engagements without
receivinga blow, and to do pretty much
as she pleesss, BY pleasing pretty much az
sbe does She Is a harmless creation of
nerself.my boy and to war directly agaips.
ner because che may chance 10 influence
per iemeIo friends 70 war against Us, is
about ns sefsible as it would be to exscrate
our hattor secuase a gust Of wind Slows
our nswA5sAvsr into the mud. Ifths hat
ter had notmade the hat. the wind cerld
not have blown it of, and if God had not
made woman, she could not encourage the
weii-known Southern Confederacy a9ninst
US; but shall we turn enemy to the halter
or 70 the women, on this accoupti MOI If
the high moral spirit of Justice Observable
IN the Constitution.
Being thus possessed of reverence for
that sex whose bonnets remind me a caks.
baskets, l cannot refrain from f-ovnino
Indignantly upon that horrible spirit Of
national tyranny which has ipspired Ser-
geant oPake, of the demeralixsd Msckerel
Brigade, to issue the following.
GENERAL ORDER.
For the purpose of simplifying national
strategy to those conservative women of
america who. while engaged in the pur-
suit OF happiness as guaranteed by the
constitution. desire to visit the Southern
Coniederacy, 1t is ordered that thsv shall
answer the following paternal qut stiops
before passing the lines of the Macl erel
Brigade: VIZ LOVE ''ei
Tor how many years has your age
been Just Twenty-Five"
H.-How many novels do you consume
per week
HI.-Were you ever complained Of 10
playing? '''0
W.-Ds you work slippers for the heath.
emf ''' -'"'i
V.-lf so. for phat He, thsnf
What newspaper Marriages and
Deaths" do you consider the best?
With selecting church to attend
what colored prayer-book do you consider
the most becoming to your complexion?
Vlii.-How much display of neck do
you think Necessary to indicate a modesty
which shrlnks from showing an anklef
| iA-Did you ever stoop to folIyf or is
It FOLLY alone that stO"ps to your
A.-Did you ever eat as much as YOU
wanted at dinner, when members of the
opposite sex were opposite
| 1t IS also ordered, that no female visitor
70 the celebrated Southern Confederacy.
snail carry more than eight large trunks
anc bonnet box for each month in the
year and that no female visitor shall pass
the line whose dimensions in full dress ex
coed the ordinary space between two pick
ete' as the latter will, aoeouut. be
to edge sTsy . from sso 81
distracted country.
1
Sergeant Mackerel Brigade.
| This inhuman order was scarcely issued
my boy, when there came to the Mackerel
lines in front of Paris a yirtuous young
female, aged %, with the figures reversed
who was Disguised with the yulgarity 81
the North, and wished to visit the MARI.
agea6ie Southern Confederacy, having
heard that the Confederacy was carefu!ly
outstanding its resources. Being a moo,
girl, with nothing - wear" she only had
seven trunks, ten bandDoxes, fourteen small
carpet bags, and lap-dog; yet the i'll bred
O'Pake was suspicious enough to EXAMINE
one of her trunks. He ruthlessly opened
it and drew forth and immense white ar.
ticle. and, says he:
DO my spectacles relate q fiction, or is
this indeed Sibley ten. for the use of the
Southern Confederacy? ?"
AT this moment the excellent Young wo
man hastily snatched the article away from
him. and says she:
You nasty thing, that's my" hert
at times, my boy, woman's blush is the
imperial banner ofvirgin modesty, thrown
out TO catch the breeze that watts thu
sound of coming rescue, and means:
God IS my defence"
AT other times it is the eloquent protest
OF fine Intelligence, which deprecates the
test that would turn all its hidden beauties
to the public eye, and means:
"Hun'itityis born of Genius"
But In this case, it was the lurid flush o.
anger, and meant--a petticoat
Not wishing to further betray the re-
proachful fact that he was an unmarried
Mackerel, my boy, Sergeant O'Pake CLOSED
the trunk with emphasis, and permitted
the triumphant young woman of Americ,
to trip lightly to the South.