Western Reserve chronicle. [volume] (Warren, Ohio) 1855-1921, 1862-09-03
Latest from the Mackeral Brigade.

ORPHEUs c. KERR has just written a le
ter from the Mackeral Brigade. Afte
giving an animated account of the 'fero
cious and ear-splitting bombardment'
across Duck Lake with g four large fowl
ing pieces" Orpheus proceeds as follows
Having crossed the treacherons ele
ment to view the immediate scene of thest
proceedings, and learned from Captain
William Brown that our pickets were
within ten miles of the Confederacy'
capital, l was about to make some remark
when messenger came riding forward il
great perspiration, and says he:
} Our pickets have been driven in"
"Ha.' says William, sis the Confedera
cy again advancing upon the United
States!"
'Our picllets," says the messenger, i'm
pressivcly, ''have been driven in; they
have Zen driven into Richmond"
"Ah - says William, pleasantly, 'then
send out some more pickets."
| suolIed away from the pair, my boy,
rejecting upon the possibility of enough
Alackerel pickets reaching Richmond in
this way to make the Union sentiment
there stronger than ever. and was looking
listlessly to my footing. when / CHANGED
to espy Il paper ON the ground Picking
it up, ! found it to be a letter from the
wife of the Southern Confederacy to her
cousin, dropped, probably by one of the
COnfederacies of the woOd-pile. Ii bore
the date Of April the First, and read as
follows:
DEAR JULErER:-I have just space of
time to write you these few lines. hoping
that these few lines will find you the
same, and III enjoyment of the same bless
ing. o my unhappy country, how art
thou suffering at present writing. | have
not had a rev bonnet for two weeks and
my suffering gloves are already discolored
by the perspiration | have she'd when
thinking of my poor, dear South. Nv
husband. the distinguished southern
COniederacy, is 20 reduced by trials. that
he. is a mere skeleton shirt. o, my julie
yer, how long is this to continue? Ere
another century shall have passed
away the Yankees will have approached
nearer Charleston and Savannah, and the
blockade become effective. Since the
Mackerel Brigade has changed its base of
operations. even Richmond seems DOOM
ed TO fall in less than twenty years. Ev-
crything looks dark, Tell me. the price
of dotted muslin. for undersleeves. when
YOU write again, and believe me,
" our respected cousin,
Mrs. $. c."
There Is only one thing about this let
ter bothered me, and that's the date. nv
boy,-the date.
When very near this city, on my re-
turn home, l met a chap, weighing about
two hundred and twenty-five pounds,
who was on his way to Il lawyers to get
his exemption from the draft duty filed.
See here, my patriotic invalid, Says ],
- how do you come to be ex-
cmpt :"
Il am exempt, says he, in profound
" melancholy manner, because | am
from broken heart
OIlem,' says l.
It's true" says he, smiling ,lismally.
II asked the female of my heart to have
me. She said | hadn't postage-stamps
enough to suit her ideas of personal reve-
nue., and she didn't care to do my wash |
ing. That is enough my heart is brok-
an. and | am not an able-bodied man"
Drafting, my boy is of nature to. de-
relop the seeds of disease in the hitherto |
healthy system-seeds which if suffered |
70 fructify, will be likely to ultimate in /
what gentlemen of burglarious accom- |
Dlishment would chastely and botanicallv !
a very large-sized plant"
Yours, seriously,
ORPEUS c. KERR.