davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1862-01-09
TAKING A MAN TO PIECES.

Captain Evans was an old naval veteran,
of sixty-seven; he had lost an arm and an
eye years before the battle of Navarino,
which last action unsettled his understand
ing, both legs being carried off by chain
shot Cork legs were coming into fashion;
Captain Evans had a. pair of the first quail
ty made for him; he could screw fork or
hook as occasion required, and being glov-
ed, the deficiency was not easily perceived.
AS increasing years rendered him inirm, his
Wallets took advantage of him, so that he
wrote to his brother, Somerset squire, to
send him up some tenants son as body
servant
''No matter how stupid, if but honest and
fnithful." be wrote.
His brother was absent. and sent his
steward to select lad. This the steward
did bat merely mentioned that Captain
Evans was infrm, not apprizing the lumkin
Of his masters deficiencies. and sent him to
London at once, where the Captain lived
At ten at night he arrived and was imme-
diately shown to Captain Evans sitting
room
what is your name p
''My name be John, zur."
"Well. John. my rascally valet is absent
again, without leave; help me to bed as it
is late; then you can 60 down to your snp-
per-"
Adjourning to the bedroom, the old gen.
tleman said:
John, unscrew my leg"
''Zur," said john
"Unscrew my leg; this way. see, John
did so tremblingly.
John. unscrew my other leg"
eur. said John.
''Unscrew the other leg, sir"
John did 80, now in state Of bewildcr-
ment.
John. unscrew this arm"
s.Fs1E0I7Ig 75tiii slloFe; 10 a1e :
great amusement, he obeyed.
John, put this eye on the table"
John took hold of it as if it would have
bitten him.
Now John-no, won't take the other
eye outfit me into bed"
This done; the waggish Captain continued:
John, beat up the pillow; it is not COM
Portable
1t was done.
BEAT it up again, it is quite hard"
John again shook the pillow.
That won't do; John, can't get my
head comfortable. John unscrew my head!"
'.No by thunder, I'll unscrew no more. J"
John fed from the room to the kitchen,
swearing his master was the ID. taking
himself to pieces like clock.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1862-01-09
gelerten puetry..
BYRON.
A ARTING.

She rose-shc sprung-she cluag to his embrace,
Till his heart heaved beneath her hidden face,
He dared not raise to his that deep blue eye,
That downcast droop'd in fearless agony.
Her long fair hair lay floating oer his arms,
In all the wildness Of dishevell'd charms;
Scarce beat that bosom where his image dwelt
So full-that feeling seem'd almost unfelt!
Hark peals the thunder of the signal gun!
II told twas sunset, and he cursed that sun.
Again-again-that form he madly prcss'd,
Which mutely clasp'd implolingly caress'd;
And tottering to the couch, his bride he bore
One moment gazed-as if to gaze no more;
Fclt-that for him earth Eeld but her alone,
Kiss'd her cold forehcad-turn'd dis Conrad gone
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1862-01-09
NO. 81.

of rugged experience, and that the most
loving, romantic and delicate people must
live on cooked or otherwise prepared food.
and in homes kept clean and tidy by indus
trious hands. And for all the practical pur-
poses of married life.. it is generally found
that for husband to sit and gaze alta wife's
taper fingers and lily hands, or for wifeto
sit and be looked at and admired, does not
make the pot boil, or put the smallest piece
of food therein.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1862-01-09
A Thrilling Scene.

A tale Of the sea, entitled The Fair
Inez," by Artemus Ward, is given TO- the
patrons of Vanity Fair in weekly chapters.
We copy from late number the following
account Of an interview between the heroine
and the corsair chief It is true picture,
according to all sensation stories:
When Inez awoke the storm had passed,
and the morning was bright and beautiful
The mailen looked around her. The
scene was passing strange.
Where am 2" she lnurmured
Safe, dear lady p said soft, fute-like
voice. ''Safe from all harm p
Inez looked up. A chivalrous looking
man, arrayed in garments of red silkeh vel
vet thick studded With diamonds of incalcu-
liable value, stood over her, gentle smile
irradiating his facinated features.
''safe, lady?' he repeated. You will
be the corsair's bride! p
Il don't say itp' said the gentle Ipes.
"Ha!" cried the pirate. 'longest thou
then for the laughing hillocks and the bel
loving bullocks Of thy own chilly climate o.
I have no .hesitancy in asserting tlat
do" she replied.
IF gold be your desire" said the pirate
chief, taking Gut his pocket-book and brand
isbing ten dollar bill on the Waukegan
Bank Of Illinois. ''here it is. !"
''Miscreant, I spurn the vile dross! Be-
sides. there's ten per cent. discount on it. .
Thus spoke the noble Inez.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1862-01-09
Salt for the Throat.

In these days when diseases of the throsa
are SO universally prevalent, and SO many
cases fatal, We feel it our duty to say VOID
in behalf Of a simple and what has been
with us a most efectual preventive. if not
a positive cure. of sore throat For many
years past; indeed. We may say during tho
whole of a life of more than forty years, We
have been subject to sore throat, and moro
particularly dry, hacking cough, which
was not only distressing to ourselves, but to
our friends and those with whom VIC were
brought into business contact. Last Fall
we were induced to try what virtue there
was in common salt. We commenced BY
using it three times day, morning noon
and hight. We dissolved a large table
spoonful of pure table salt in about half q.
small tumbler Of cold water. With this We
gargled the throat most thoroughly just be-
fore meal time The result has been that.
during the entire Winter, we were not only
free from the usual coughs and colds to
which, as far as our memory extends, wos
have always been subject. but the dry hack
ing cough has entirely disappeared. We
attribute these satisfactory results solely to
the use Of the salt gargle, and do most cor
daily recommend trial of it to those Of
our readers who are. subject to diseases Of
the throat. Many persons who have never
tried the salt gargle, have the impression
that it is unpleasant. Such is not the case
On the contrary. it is pleasant. and after
few days use, no person who loves nice.
clean mouth, and irst-rate sharpener Of
the appetite, will abandon it. -Farmer and
Gardener.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1862-01-09

Ew"These ere clerks. "said Mrs. VIM
terblossom, ''are leetle too smart Iwent
yesterday into store in Hanover street.
where all the fxins was painted blue, and
asked for some silk" What color, ma ann"
asked the young connterjumper. Why"
says I, ''about the color of your drawers..
my draaoers. says be, why I left thaca
of last Monday," and then he grinned. iusss
as if he didn't know what meant. : zs.'s1 -
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1862-01-09

| am really delighted. Give me your hand,
General Lane, | can safely trust my precious
sister in your hands. May God bless you
both"
Soon after they left for home. the entire
party together. In October there was a
double wedding in Grace Church-that of
General Lane and his beautiful Carrie
Charles Sloan and Vic Canterbury-''L Lace"
standing. looking down to his nose, regret
ting that he had not made better use Of his
time, and been married too.
Port Tobacco times, and Charles County advertiser. (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1845-1898, 1862-01-09

&E'Call me pet names. dear" Greslv
calls Bennett "a lying old braggart. aud
beunett calls Greely galvanized squash.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1862-08-07
DIR. HUGHES
Eclectic Medical Infirlnary.

Established for the treatment If those diseases IN
both sexes, requiring Experience, Skill, Honor and
deiicocy.
DRIyATE C0NSULTATIONS.-Dr. Hughes has
Il for number of years confined his attention 10
diseases Of certain class. During his practice he
has treated thousands of cases. and In instance
has he met with a failure The remedies are mild,
and there is interruption of business change of
diet. DIR. Hughes il in constant attendance from
in the morning until 10 nj night. NJ his Office, Tenn
pie street. Charges moderate. and a guaranteed
in all cases. Separate rooms, that will be
seen bat the DR. himself His remedies cure disease
when all other remedies fail; without dieting,
or restriction in the habits of the PATIENT with
out the disgusting and sickening effects of most other
remedies; cures cases in few hours; with
out the dreadful consequent effects mercury, but
Is sure to annihiate the rank and posonous faint
that the blood Is to absorb, unless the proper
remedy is used The ingredients entirely vegeta-
Bile, and injurious effect. either constutionaiIy
locally, can be caused by using them.
YOUNG MEN, who troubled with seminal
weakness, generally caused by bad habits in youth.
the effects of which are pain and dizziness in the
head forgetfnlness, sometimes ringing In the cars.
weak eyes, ETC.. terminating in consumption or in
sanity If neglected, are speedily and permanently
cured.
All correspondence strictly confidential and will be
returned IL desired. Address
DIR. J. b. HUGHES,
No. 5 Temple Street, tcorner of Middlcl
Portland.
sT-Send stamp for Circular. jul1-d& w3ms
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1862-08-07

LARGE FEET.-The Rev. Joseph Bowman,
of Pimperton, is celebrated for the large size
of his "trotters." He is said to he the per-
son who kes at aepnnery in operation for the
purpose of furnishing leather enough to keep
him in boots and shoes. But that is said to he
a falsehood by those know him best On one
occasion, wanting his boots mended, he stop
ped at the door of Bill Hills shoe shop, and
thus accosted the cobbler, who was busy at
work within:
Say, Bill, can you halfsole my boots to-
day?"
Bill, who suffered little, came to the door.
and after taking a long and apparently anxious
survey of the weather. answered.:
Eyes, if-d-d-don't rain
Why, Bill, what difference would that make,
said the reverend
"Why," said Bill, my sh-sh-sh-shop amt
very large, and th-th-thought c-c-c-could
bring my b-b-b-bench out d-doors."
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1862-08-07

An EDITORS ACcoMPLIsHsIENT.-A a
late printers festival in Boston the following
capital toast was given: The editor-The
man that is expected to know everything, tell
all he knows, and guess at the rest; to make
known his own character, establish the reputa-
ton of his neighbor, and elect all candidates
to Office, to blow up everybody and reform the
world; to live for the benefit of others, and
the epitaph on his tombstone "Here he lies at
last" in short, he is locomotive runner on the
track of public notoriety; his lever is his pen !;
his boiler is filed with ink; his tender is his
scissors; his driving wheel is public opinion;
whenever he explodes it is caused by the nom
payment of subscriptions.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1862-08-07

AT COURT OF PROBATE held at Portland. within
and for the County Of Cumberland. on the third
Tuesday of July, In the year of our Lord eighteen
hundred and sixty-two.
MEAL DOW, Executor of the last Will and Tcs-
~ ament of Josiah Dow, late of Portland, in said
County, deceased having presented his first account
of administration of said estate for probate;
IL Ordered. That the said Executor give notice
TO all persons interested, by causing notice to be pub
lished three weeks successfully in the Maine State
Press, printed at Portland that they may appear at
Probate Court TO be held at said Portland. ON the
third Tuesday of September next at ten of the clock
in the forenoon, and shew cause. if any they have
why the same should not be allowed
WILLIAM q. BARR0WS, Judge.
true copy, attest;
sw3w5 EUGENE HUMPHREY. Register.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1862-08-07

FLANNnL.-Flannel should be worn sum-
mer and winter, during the day, but should be
taken off at night. In summer it allows the
perspiration to pass off without condensing up
on the skin, and prevents the evil effects of the
rapid changes Of temperature to which we are
liable in our changeable climate, when out of
doors. In winter, as a non-conductor of heat,
it is a protection against cold At night the
flannel jacket or jersey should be exposed to a
free current of air and allowed thoroughly to
dry; it should never be put in heap OF clothes
by the bedside. Flannel is usually only worn
over the chest and abdomen.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1862-08-07
STEAMBOATS,.
Portland and New York steamers.

The splendid and fast Steamship
es CHESAPEAKE" Captain SIDNEY
~LAt: CRowELL. will until further notice run
follows:
Leave Browns Wharf, Portland, every WEDNES-
DAY, alta l.. NJ, and leave Pier North River, New
York, every SATURDAY. at O'Clock, +. NJ.
This vessel is fitted up with inc accommodations for
passengers, making this the most speedy, safe and
comfortable route for travellers between New York
and Maine. Passage $500, including Fare and State
Rooms.
Goods forwarded by this line to and from Montreal,
Quebec Bangor Bath Augusta PASSPORT and ST.
John.
Shippers requested TO send their freight TO the
steamer before T. NJ on the day that she leaves
Portland.
For freight or passage appIyto
EMERY FOX, Browns Wharf, Portland.
II. b. CROMWELL & CO., No. SO West Street.
New York.
june %, 1862 diff
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1862-08-07
ANDROsCOGGIN RAILROAD.
SUMMER ARRANGEMENT.

SUMNER ARRANGEMENT.
csFES5FE.zseQ On and after MONDAY, Nav 8, 1862,
trains will leave Portland for Lewiston
ana Arlington via Brunswick, at =. NJ.
Leave Pennington for Lewiston, Bath and Port
land via Brunswick, at els A. NJ.
Leave Lewiston for Bath and Portland via Bruns-
wick at 11.45 A. NJ.
Freight trains daily between Portland and Lewis
ton.
STAGE CONNECTIONS.
Stage leaves Strickland's Ferry Tuesdays, Thurs
days and Saturdays for Livermore. Canton, Peru
and Dixfield; returning opposite DAYS.
Stage leaves North jay for East Dixfield Dixfield
and Weld on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays;
returning opposite days.
Stage leaves Pennington New Vineyard, New
Portland and kiDgfed, on Wednesdays and Satur-
days. returning on Mondays and FRIDAYS.
Stages leave Pennington daily, for Strong, Avon
and Phillips.
Passengers for this route will take the cars at the
Portland, Saco Portsmouth, or kennebec Port
land Depots, in Portland. S. W. EATON, Supt
Pennington May 8, 1862 june23dif
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1862-08-07
RAILROADS.
KENNEBEC AND PORTLAND II. n.
SUMNER ARRANGEMENT.
Commenced april 14th, 1862.

Commenced AprH 14th, 1862.
EEEsESEssl Passenger trains will leave daily, tSun-
E5f1-Yssdays excepted) as follows:
Augusta Tor Bath, Portland and Boston, at IL Is A.
NJ, connecting at brunswick with the Androscoggin
Railroad for Lewiston, Livermore Falls, Wilton and
Pennington.
Leave Portland for Bath and Augusta at l 90 p. NJ,
connecting Mt Brunswick with the Androscoggin
trains for stations that road and at Augusta with
the Somerset kenDcbec Railroad for Waterve,
kendalPs Mills and SkowhcgaD, and at kendall's
Mills with the Penobsco & kennebec Road for Pitts
field, Newport and Bangor; arriving same night.
Monday Morning aud Saturday EreRing Trains.
On Monday trains leave Augusta at $50 A. NJ, and
Bath at $50 A. NJ, for Portland. connecting with the
S.45 A. NJ. train for Lowell and Boston.
Leave Portland on Saturdays, at S15 +. NJ, on
rival of train from Boston, for Bath and Augusta.
STAGE CONNECTIONS.
Stages leave Bath daily Sundays excepted) at 800
T. NJ, on arrival of train from Portland and Boston,
for Wiscasset, Damarscotta, Waldoboro', Rockland
and Thomaston.
Stages leave Augusta daily Sundays excepted for
Belfast on arrival of train from Portland and Bos-
ton.
Tickets sold in Boston for all the stations on the
Kennebec & Portland, Androscoggin, and Somerset
kcnnebec Roads.
Freight trains run daily between Augusta and Port
land. Ii. ii. CUSHMAN,
Manager and Superintendent
Augusta, April, 1862. june23dtf
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1862-08-07

BErsEY's COUNTING SENsATIoN.-There
Is dear good old lady in our "deestrict," who
has for daughter an ''unkimmon" cross old
girl, who has not been burdened with a sur
plus of attention from the opposite sect"
Her mother wonders "why on airth the fellars
don't come to see Betsy" But, mirabite
and they ssot up,' and the old lady was ex-
tremely delighted. Monday morning when
her fair daughter came down to her morning
meal, the old lady exclaimed, with pleasant
emphasis:
swell, Betsy, my dear, how do you feel this
morning?"
Betsy glared at her moment, and then NUT
tered, in deep, low tones
'Feel as though could eat su'thin."
Betsy wasn't accustomed to "settin' up" you
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1862-08-07
MEDICAL.
Eclectic Medical Infirmary.
TO The LADIES'

hR. HUGHES particularly invites all Ladies who
~ need medical adviser, TO call at his rooms No.
Temple Street, which they will find arranged for
their especial accommodation.
Dr. HI Eclectic Renovating Medicines are unrivai-
led in efficacy and superior virtue in regulating all
Female Irregularities. Their action is specific and
certain of producing relief in short time.
LADIES will find IL invaluable in all cases of OBJ
strucons after all other remedies have been tried in
vain 1t is purely vegetable, containing nothing in
the least injurious to the health, and may be taken
with perfect safety at all times.
Sent to any part of the country with full directions,
by addressing DR. HUGHES
No. Temple Street. corner of Middle, Portland.
N. B.-LADIES desiring may consult of their
own sex. lady of experience in constant attend
ahce. iul1-3m
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1862-08-07

At a debating society the other day the sub
ject was (which is the sweetest production,
girl or strawberry" After continuing the
argument for two nights, the meeting ad-
journed without coming to a concusion-the
old ones going for the strawberries, and the
young ones going for the girls.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1862-08-07

AT COURT OF PROBATE held at Portland within
and for the County of Cumberland. the third
Tuesday of July, in the year of our Lord eighteen
hundred and sixty-two.
II YDIA A. ANTll0lNE, widow of Daniel w An
4 thone, late of Windham in said County. deccas-
ed having presented her petition that administration
on the estate of said deceased, may be granted TO
John Webb, of said Windham:
IL sras Ordered, that the said Petitioner give
ce 10 all persons interested by causing notice TO be
published three weeks successfully in the Maine State
Press printed at Portland that they may appear at
Probate Court to be held Mt said Portland. on the
third Tuesday of September next at ten of the clock
in the forenoon, and show cause, if any they have
why the same should not be granted
WILLIAM G. BARRoWS, Judge.
A true copy, Attest
sw3w5 EUGENE HUMPHREY, Register
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1862-08-07

or using anu sent Dy express, cosety sealed TO all
PRIcEs.-Full strength. $40; Half Strength, Is;
Quarter Strength, 50 per bottle.
sB Remember! This medicine Is designed ex-
pressly for OBSTINATE CASES, which all other rem
edes of the kind have failed to eure also that il Is
warranted represented in ereTy respect, or the
price will be refunded.
sY-BEwARE OF INVITATIONS, None genuine
and warranted unless purchased directly Of DIR. NJ.
at his REMEDIAL INSTITUTE FOR SPECIAL
DISEASES, No. % Union Street, Providence, RI.
sR-Ths speciality embraces all diseases of a pri-
rate nature both of MEN and WOMEN, by regu-
larry educated physician of twenty years practice
giving his whole attention to them.
esR-Consutatons by letter otherwise are strictly
confidential, and medicines will be sent by Express,
secure from observation TO all parts of the United
States; Also, accommodations for LADIES from
abroad wishing for secure and quiet Retreat with
good care until restored to health
CAUT1ON.-It has been estimated that two
nmndrea ,hon,and dollars are pad to swndling
benefit to those who pay IL. Most of this comes
out of class of persons who the least able to lose
it, but once paid they can nerer get back and they
are compelled to suffer the wrong In silence not dar-
ing to expose the cheat for fear of exposing them
selres All this comes from trusting without inquiry
TO men who alike destitute of honor character.
and skill. and whose only recommendation is their
own false and extravagant assertions, in praise Of
themselves. If, therefore, you would avoid being
humbugged, take no mans word, no matter rhdf his
professions are, but MAKE INQUIRY lit will cost
you nothing, and may save you many regrets for as
advertising physicians, in nine out of ten are
bogus, there Is safety in trusting any Of them.
less You know trho and rh1t they are.
rss-Dr. M.wil send FREE. by enclosing one stamp
as above, a Pamphlet on DISEASES OF WOMEN.
and on Pirate Diseases generally; giving most full
information Nth the most uHdOHbfed references and
testimonials. without which no advertising physician
or medicine of this kind is deserving of coSFI-
DEScE WHATEVER.
rT-orders BY mail promptly attended to. Write
your address plainly, and direct TO Dr. H. n MATrI-
son, as above.
June %. d&w2m
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1862-08-07
WANTED, AGENTS.

H0SE about TO engage in the sale Of rs cent pack
should write to me before engaging elsewhere Re-
member that am the originator Of the Is cent pack
age stationery, and also N. E. Agent for H. H. LLOYD
Cos celebrated Maps and Charts and j. c. Buftre's
fine Steel Engraved Portraits. Withal, It may DO
safely said that have the best assortment Of the
most saeable articles for the times that can be found
IN New England. For particulars, address b. b.
RUSSELL, 5l5 Washington Street. Boston.
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1862-08-07

The body of midding-sized man contains
pound Of phosphorus, which, if in a free
state, and infamed would burn him up, and
everything around him. Exchange.
Cant be" says the Hartford Times: eve
know lots of old bachelors and antiquated
maidens who haven't even phosphorus enough
In 'em to make match
The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1862-08-07
BOSTON ADVERTISEMENTS.
INDIAN MEDICAL INsrITUTE.

OFFICE 80 BRoMFIELD ST., BOSTON.
REV. N. DAY, Presf. Rev. p. MASON rice Pres,f
r. GREENE, N. d., Saperinfending Physician.
This Institution established for the cure of Di.
ease upon the principles of innocent medication en-
tirely discarding the use Of Poisonous Drugs.
Many diseases, such Scrofula, Humors of the
Blood, Diseases of the Throat and Lungs Dyspepsia,
Liver Complaint, Heart Complaint, Rheumatism,
Female Complaints, and great variety Of ordinary
Diseases are successfully treated by Medicine which
may be sent to any part Of the country with full
directions.
Persons having Cancers or those afflicted with COM
pcated diseases, should Immediately avail themselves
of DIR. Greene's personal attention.
Consultation at the Office, or by mail free of
charge. go =
DR.. Greene win be at the Office from sA NJ, to 1
p. M.
The Office win be open, and competent persons In
attendance, from IL A. NJ, to 6 p. NJ.
All communications should be directed to r.
GREENE, 36 Bromiield Street, Boston.
NOTE. Persons wishing to investigate this method
fpractce, or its superior success will be furnished
with a pamphlet descriptive Of treatment free by
addressing X. GREENE, II. d., 30 Bromfeld Street,
Boston.