Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1862-01-04
Mrs. Caudle's Lecture.

, Didn't enlist? Why not? Wha
:, in goodness has..happened =? l supposed
you was half way to w Washington b,
this time. Wouldn't they accept yov
f or what was it? Speak out, Mr.
Brown, do, and let me know the
worst Was it because they thought
you had the heart disease, and NIGH
be taken with the palpitation, OIL
had the rheumatics so that you could
not run' Did the gunpowder fright
en- you out of it, or achdt /? Give you
a chance, you'll tell me ? Well out
with it, if you've got any thing to say.
Don't stand there like Ounce. Con
cluded you wouldn't? That's a pretty
excuse-satisfactory, rery. Brown,
thought you were more of a man,
ibid, indeed. Now Mrs. Jones will
throw it into my face that you arc a
coward, and deserted. That's the
story that'll get around, and pleasant
one for me to hear beside. Upon my
word, Mr. Brown, I'd rather have
buried you.
Contradict it -? Not I. You make
your own excuses. Bnt if you have
got any sensible reason, tell me what
it is. What on earteh is the sense Of
your concluding you wouldn't? Speak
up! Didn't think it was best? What
sort of reason is that Brown |
wish you had gift of CAB at conversa
ton. It's more than its worth, fifty
times over, to get word out Of you.
Why didn't you think it best p
Won't you answer in plain English p
Why didn't you consider it was best
Aren't you an able bodied man, and
haven't your wife and children, got
money enough to take care of them
selves without you? What was it
brought you back ? 1t wasn't your
love for nee, I'm sure Of that. Had
all the Captains they wanted? Didn't
want am moro ieutenants ? What's
that to do with it !? MIR Brown, ! am
ashamed of you. Did you intend to
go to war SO as TO get on Captains
rig, and order folks about, or was it to
save your country? A sensible reason
that isl can't believe my ears, Mr..
Brown. There isn't man in town
that's talked longer and louder about
patriotism: and fighting for your coun-
try, and dying on her alters, and all
such fummery than you have ; and
now here you are giving up going to
war, because you'd have to be pri
vate. ] shouldn't suppose you would
dare to speak the word patriotism
again for month, for fear it would
stick in your throat and choke you.-
Haven't you been a private man, and
can't You afford to be a private SOL
dier If every body was ambitious
as You are, we should have fine
country, l imagine. Captaincy, in
deed A pretty Captain you'd make.
A man that tried last summer to shoot
squirrel six feet off, and couldn't DO
it. Likely as any way you would shoot
yourself or your First Lieutenant the
first time you fired. Pears to me /
would learn to pull trigger myself
before set myself up to teach other
men how to handle muskets. What
does school teacher know about fire.
arms till he's been taught ?
Don't talk to me about being an off
Ger, as long as you can't keep thirty or
forty boys in order. What could you
do at the head of company of SOL
diers? Really, I didn't think yon was
such fool.
Plenty of other men that don't know
any more about it than you? Sup
posing there are, is that any reason
for your making a goose of yourself
because other people do? It's my
opinion there wouldn't have been such
scattering and scampering at Bull
Run, if there hadn't been SO many
Colonels and Captains around, tripping
up on their swords, and running
against one another. You wouldn't
catch me trying to play officer until L
had learned my part. / wouldn't even
consent to be made a corporal till I'd
shown that | wasn't coward, and no.
body should put me into the Captain
cy, or anything else, till / had fought
my way up to it. | only wonder that
you didn't set your heart on being
Brigadier General. I'd start to NOR
row, if | were you, and apply.
But there's one thing about it, John
Brown, | never want to hear you call
ed Captain Brown, or Colonel Brown,
or General Brown, if it's nothing but
to pay you for hankering after titles so.
I'm sick of them. They don't hdJ of
the men deserve them-Deacons and
nobody else.
You guess you'll retire, do you p
Well, I'd advise you to do SO, and the
longer you keep retired the better for
you, and your country too, I'm think
ing. For nay part, I'm ashamed OF
you.
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