The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1862-10-08
boosum, and said, ut is me father. thank
the gods r.
She reads the t,educr

Ny son Orgustus was playin' onto d
foot. Orgustus is ethereal cuss. The
twins was bildin' cob houses in corner OF
the kitchen.
It'll cost some postage stamps to raise
this family, and yet it 'ud 20 hard with tho
old man to lose any lamb Of the flock.
My townsmen was sort o. demoralized.
There was evident design to ewade the
draft, as observed with s0rrer, and patriot
ism was below Par-and Nar, too. % Jew
desprit.l hadn't no soencr sot down or
the piazzy Of the tasoun than I saw six-
teen solitary hossmcn; ridin' four abreast,
wendn' their way up the street.
whats themy Is it cavalry2'
"That," said the landlord, ''is the stage.
Sixteen able bodied citizens has lately bot
the stage line tween here and Scootsburg.
That's them They're stage. drivers
Stage.drivers is excmp."
saw that each stage. driver carried q
letter in his left hand
The mail is heavy, to-day" said the
landlord. "Gin'rally they don't hav morc'n
half dozen letters tween 'cm. To day
they've got one apiece! Bile my lights
and liver!'
And the passengers
There amt any skacely now days." said
the landlord, "and what few there iS, very
much prefer to walk, the roads is so rui"
And how ist with yeu!" I inquired of
the editor Of the 8ugle- HON Of Liberty,
who sot near me-
II can't co." he said, shakin' his head in
wise way. "Ordinarily l should delight
to wade in gore, but my bleedin' country
bids me stay at home. 1t is imperativeiy
necessary that remain here for the pur.
puss o. announcin' from week to week that
our Gor'ment is about to tuke rigorous meas
wes TO put dozen the re5ellion."
strolled into the village oyster saloon;
where found DR.. Schwazcy, a lcadin' cit.
lzen. in state of mind which showed tha.
he'd bin histin' in more'n his share of pizen.
Hello, old Beeswax," he beIlered;
"how's your grandmam's? When you
So'n' to feed y.ut stuffed animils -
What's the matter with the eminent
physician y pleasantly inquired
This" he said, this is what's the mat.
ter. Fm habitooal drunkard! I'm ex-
emptr'
"Jes' So"
DO you see them beans, old man ~ and
he pnted to plate before him. DO you
see them?"
II do. They arc very cheerful fruit when
used tempritly."
"Well,' said he. II hain'r cat any thing
since last week. cat beans now because
l eat beans then. Inever mix my y,ttlcs!"
ITS quite proper you should cat little
suthin' once in a while" said. ut is q
good idee to occasionally instruct the Stun
mick that it mustn't depend exclusively
on llcker for its sustainance'
"A blessin," he cried; "a blcssin onto
the he'd of the man what invented beans.
A blessin onto his he'd !'
(Which his name is Gibson! He's a
first family of Bostin," said I.
This is spcciment of how things was
so'n' in my place Of residence.
A few was true blue. The schoolmastcr
was among 'em. He greeted me warmly.
lie said was welkim to those shores lie
said had massiv mind. 1t was gratifin~
ne said, to see that great intelleck stalkil.a
III their midst onct more. have be4 had
occasion to notice this schoolmas,er. He
Is evidently young man Of far more than
ordinary talents.
Inc schoolmaster proposed we should git
up mass meetin'. The meetin' was large
iy attended. We held it in the open air.
round a roarin bonfire.
| Ihc schoolmaSter was the first orator.
He's pretty good on the speak. He also
writes well, his composition bein' seldom
marred by ingrammatticisms. He said this
inactivity surprised him. "What do YOU
expect will come of this kind of do,n's p
N,hih it,"
"Hooray for Nihil!' | interrupted.
Fellow. citizens, let's Civ three cheers f..
Mill, the man who fit!'
The schoolmaster turned little red, but
repeated-"NihH it,"
Exactly said. Nihil tit. He wasn't
a strategy feller.'
"Our venerable friend" said the school
master, smlin' pleasantly, isn't posted in
Virgil"
"No, don't know him. But if he's 4
able-bodicd man he must stand his little
draft"
| The schoolmaster wound up in eloquent
style, and the subscriber took the stand.
| said the crisis had not only cum itself.
but it had brought all its relations. 1t has
cum, | said, with evident intention of
maxim us a good long visit. It's goin' to
take Oft it's things and stop with US. NV
wife says so too. This is a good war. For
those who like this war, it's Just such y
kind of war as they like. I'll bet ye. Ny
wife says so too. Ii the Federal army sue
ceed's in takin w ashingten, and they seem
to be advancin' that way pretty often,
snail say It is strategy, and Washington
will be safe. And that noble banner, as it
were-that banner, as it were-will be a
emblem, or rather, should say, that noble
banner-as 1t acere. My wife says so, too.
got little mixed up here, but they
didn't notice it. Keep num- Feller citi-
zens, it will be proud day for this Repub-
lie when Washington is safe. Gloucester,
Massachusetts,, is safe. Gen. Fremont is
there. No danger Of Gloucester, Massa.
chusetts, as long as Gen. Fremont's there.
And may the day be not far distant when
| can say the same Of Washington. But
it it is saved, it will be by strategy Saint
Paul is safe. Gen. Pope is there and he
don't know anything about retreating
Vermont will soon be safc Gen. Phelps
Is comm home. Let us all rejoice that
Vermont is about to be safe. Ny wife
| says 50 too.
The editor Of the Bugle Horn of Liberty
here arose and said: 81 do not wish to in.
| terrupt the gentleman, but an important
| despatch has just been received at the teie.
graph office here. will read it, 1t is as
follows 'Gov'ment is about take vigorous
measures to put down the rebellion :! -
cloud applause.)
That, said |, is cheering. That's sooth-
ing. And Washington will be safe (Sen-
sation.) Philadelphia is safe Gen Pat
terson is in Philadelphia. But my heart
olccds particly for Washington. My wife
says SO too.
There's money enough. No trouble
about money. They've got a lot Of first
class bank-note engravers at Washington
(Which place, I regret to say, is by no