The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1862-12-06
ORPHEUS C. KERR.
From the CapitaI-vlrtuOus Indignation


From the CapitaI-VlrtuOus Indignation
Our ever-watchful correspondent mar
rates the interesting proceedings of the
NATIONAL Insanitary Committee, with the
remarkable mistake they made, and shows
how the despotic and ruinous removal of
the idolized General of the Mackerel Brig
ade was received by his bereaved troops
and the political chaps:"
FROM WASHINGTON.
Editor T. r.: AS I calmly observe the
present situation of our military affairs, my
boy, and consider how persistently the Blue
Ridge continues to get between our great
strategic army and the dilap;dated Southern
Confederacv, I am impressed with the idea
that the salvation of our distracted country
demands the removal of either the Blue
Ridge or the beloved General of the Mack
erel Brigade.
I admit. my boy, that the Mackerel Brig
ade has spent time enough in one locality
sin &c the last battle to remove the incompe-
tent and imbecile Blue Ridge, and that the
immense number of spades assigned to that
veteran corps might be construed into the
belief that they were really engaged in that
great strategic task. Furthermore, the fact
that the Mackerels have only succeeded in
marching fifteen miles in six weeks, legiti-
mates the supposition that they were going
up very steep hills; but it must be borne in
mind. my boy, that it is the Honest Abe's
best policy to conciliate all political parties
for the sake of Northern unity of action,
and it cannot be doubted that the removal
Of the Blue Ridge at this crisis would &C.
casiOn the bitterest heart burniugs and jeal-
ousiss in the manly bosom of our nations
Democratic organization. It would be con-
strued into proof that the Honest Abe
had Welded to the fendish clamor of the
crazy Abolitionists, and had rendered res
toration of the adored Union-as TWAS of
our forefathers impossible, by destroying
that Blue Ridge which was an essential part
of that Union. The manly Organization,
nv boy, would prefer an armistice with the
unseemly Confederacy to removal of the
Blue Ridge-a removal, my boy, author
lied neither By the Constitution, the pursuit
of happiness, nor the rights of man The
Blue Ridge is at the head of our army, and
our army is at the foot of the Blue Ridge.
The mistaken Confederacv is on the other
side, my boy, aud the Organization very
| Justly reasons. that the fendish Abolition
lists confess themselves to be, in heart, on
the same side with the Confederacy, for, if
their desired removal of the Blue Ridge
were carried out, the distinction of the two
opposite sides would be practically lost, and
the United States of America and the
Southern Confederacy would all be on one
side, and there might be an unconstitutional
collision
Hence my boy, the honest Abe has con-
cluded to leave the Blue Ridge where it Is,
and remove the idolized general of the Mack
ereF Brigade.
But the whole body of Mackerels, sane
and insane alike, unite in feeling of strong
anguish, blended with enthusiasm, at the re-
moval of the beloved general of the Mackerel
Brigade He has been so much father to
them all, that they never expected to get a
step father while be was with them.
There is piece of domestic philosophy
for you. my boy.
When the General heard of his removal,
my b 2, he said it was like divorcing a
! nu9L nd from wife who had always sup
ported him, and Immediately let fly the fol-
lowing:
FAREWELL ADDRESS.
HEADQUARTERS OF THE ARMY OF AcCoMAC,l
FOOT OF THE BLUE RIDGE.
Ny CHILDREN: An order from the Hon.
est Abe divorces US, and gives the com
mand of all these attached beings to Major
General Wobert Wobinson. Heart rendine
and enthusiastic CHEERS
4 In parting with you. cannot express how
much love your dear bosoms. As an ar
my, you have grown from youth to old age
under my care. In you have never found
: doubt or GOODNESS, nor anything else. The
victories you have won under my commanc
will live In the nations works of fiction
The strategy We have achieved, the graves
, Of many of the unripe Mackerels, the broker
forms of those disabled by the Emancipation
Proolamation-tbe strongest association
that can exist among men-still makes i
] advisable that You should vote for ms 10