The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1862-03-22

head back, and sat down, more like thou
sand of bricks than anything else I ever
saw. I tried to stop her, but you might az
well have tried TO stop an avalanche from
sliding or an NJ. @. from speaking. She
looked heavy, but che felt twice as heavy as
she looked, and my attempt to save her only
resulted In the downfall of US both. We
came down '.solid," and q sharp ''crack, -
as though the ice had given way under the
pressure, was distinctly audible. started,
and Araminta screamed, but nothing was
to be seen. Pretty soon q strong smell Of
whisky began to peryade the air. Araminta,
who is temperance" to the back bone,
shifted the odor with intense disgust, and
remarked that ''any one who would come
to place where there were ladies. smelling as
that man did who had just passed, was no
gentleman. I acquiesced, of course, and
muttered something about ''great BRUTE"
At the same could not help fslieitating my
self on my discretion in putting my whisky
into my coat tail instead of my breast pocket.
where Araminta would have discovered it
to certainty. But, on putting my hand
into my pocket, I was Mortified to discover,
by getting my fingers cut, that that last
''crack" had been the death knell of my
| flask, and the odor in question rose from
my saturated pocket It, was 6rst-class
| Bourbon, and could be smelled a quarter
of mile ! Every one turned as we passed.
and shifted and stared to see what made
''that smell - and a policeman began to
follow us t'afar off," My charmer was not
not greatly pleased at the public celebrity
she had SO suddenly attained, although as
yet unconscious of the cause.
We started again. This time she slipped
and hit my shin with her skate, in way
that would have brought tears in the eyes Of
a pawnbroker, tripping me up, and of course
we went down together. uttered single
ejaculation, more emphatic than usual in
polite conversation, as the pieces of glass
in my pocket, on which l brought up,
stuck in my leg in several places, and I
bounced up in hurry. forgetting for the
moment all about Araminta She looked at
me with indignation. 'Mr. Smith," said
she, with great dignity and emphasize the
Mr., ''you have been drinking, sirl" Of
course swore hadn't, and made all pos
sible excuses but I could plainly see
that my protestations did not receive much
credit. Nevertheless, we started again. For
time all went smoothly, but I began to
think that Araminta in one Of her evolu
tons must have fallen on her temper, for it
was getting more unpleasant with every
collision and stumble-and ''their name
was legion" Finally, just as we were in
front of the ladies' room. little brat of a
boy, skating by like the wind, came up
against Araminta with force that caromed
him off about two hundred yards, making a
hole through the crowd in his way like a
six pound Shell. seized her, and knosO
l would have held her up, only just at that
moment, my left leg, by some fatality, had
again seeded from the right, and started off
sideways by itself Anyhow, over went,
and Araminta sat on me, more like pile
driver than young lady. We went down
right in the path of half a dozen skaters,
who piled over US in perfect pyramid. The
way the drapery fell was tremendous, and
then-all was blank.
came to my senses in one of the eating
booths, by having scalding hot coffee poured
down my throat by a gentleman who STIR
red little whisky in it, occasionally, with
sausage, to strengthen me. I started up
and rushed to the door. Where was Ara
mirta? SIS
"Your big gal !" confidently remarked a
gerry small boy, ''has gone off with that
fancy skater over there. Ny eyesl you
ought to see him do the outside edge back
ward Pr F
I looked, and saw Jones Yes, Jones
standing on one leg and looking at his coat
tail under his elbow, in utter defiance of all
laws of gravitation, and not sitting down;
and there also was Araminta, gazing at him
with silent admiration. At this m oment
the policeman who had followed Us upon the
ice, tapped me on the shoulder. and arrested
me for being intoxicated on the pond.
plead and protested without avail the
guardian of the public virtue was infexible.
I had to go to headquarterss followed byea
train Of admiriBg spectators, like the t'taip'
ola Highland chief, and attracting che atten-
ton of every one on the pond. After half
an hours expostulation with "the powers
that be-" succeeded in convincing them
that was not drunk, and obtained my re-
lease, with the admonition "not TO DO SO
again. Just as If I had ever done any
thing Butby this time it was dark; my
clothes were spoiled, and my feelings were
''too many for me''-and left.
That evening I received all my letters.
locks of hair. ETC., (but not the skates,
had presented to Araminta. with short
note, stating that 'tsshe felt compelled to
break off all relations with one who would
so far forget himself. in public, as /
had DONE" haven't seen her SINCE bat
am informed that she is to be Mrs. Jones
at the end of the skating season. Since thels
I say sssksting is a humbug !" Am not
justified ?-Nesg York Sunday Times. '
An enragsd parent had ierked bic pro-
yokipg SON across his knee, and was oper-