davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1862-03-01
WIT AND WISDOM.

1t is not in bru.es that we fud most
brutality. r-s-,ss
Husbands like paper, should be vel,
ruled
Fools despise and oppose wha, they do
not understand. s." =,
What is tina. which makes all women
equally pretty? Putting the candles out.
Don't marry An attorney. 1t must be
bad thing to be hung to a limb Of the law.
Tears at a wedding are only the com.
mence'aent of the pickle that young folks
are getting into.
1t is said that the wheel of fortune re.
wolves for all but many Of US are broken
on the wheel.
A hen-pecked husband declared that the
longer he lived with his wife the more he
was smilten with her.
Pat, you are wearing your stockings
wrong side outward. Och, and don't |
know it, to be sure; there's hole on tho
other side of them, so there is"
Al q juvenile school examination, a few
days ago, the examiner asked what fish
eat the lHie ones p "The Gig 'uas,'
shouted a little urchin.
Whatever you have to do, do it prompt.
ly, and if il is worth doing at all, it is
worth doing well, whether any one is to
see it or not.
Experimental Phlasophy-asking a
young lady to marry you. Natural Phil.
osopLy-lookng indifferent and saying
you were only in fun when she refuses you.
1t is said that printed declarations with
blank forms are to be used by young ladies
who have lovers too modest to propose
The ladies themselves Gil out the blanks
and, of course, the lovers sign them.
The best cure for hard times, is to cheat
the doctor by being temperate the law
yer by keeping out of debt; the dema-
gogue by voting for honest men and pov.
erty being industrious.
Biddy.' said lady to her servant, al
wish you would 60 over and see how old
Mr.. Jones is this morning" Exit Biddy.
Pretty soon back she came and said -
Z" Mr.. Jones says he was sivinty siven this
morning, marm!"
"If there is anybody under The cannis.
ter of heaven that have in utter excres~
cence,' said Mrs Parting,on, "it is the
slanderer, going about like boy con.
structor, circulating his calomel upon
honest folks"
An Indiana paper says An officer Of the
25th regiment with a squad of men, went
out few nights ago to arrest some of the
boys who had slipped off to a ball
They invited the officer to smoke, and
while lighting his cigar they disappeared
under the hoopped skirts of some Of the
girls, and were not discosered by the officer
The New York Tribune thinks that the
Hutchinson family should be allowed to
go to the Potomac armies to sing abolitioa
songs. We are twice rs clever. We think
they ought not only to go to sing, but to
90 to Sing Sing Loaiscilie Journal
1t appears that the Captain Jones taken
prisoner at Fort Henry is g. X. G Jones
Of this city, son Of Gen. Jones now in Fort
Lafayette We doubt whether even Cap
tain Jones family knew whether he was
in the Rebel Army, and they are probably
as much surprised to hear Of his capture
as if anything else unforeseen and unex-
pected had hefallen him : -naluqus Herald.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1862-03-01
POETRY.
'' [Tbc Song that WASN'T Suppressed ID
STAND UIs FOR UNCLE SAM, MY

Stand up for Uncle Sam, my boys,
With hearts brave and true , a
Stand up for Uncle Sam, my buys, a
For he has stood by you. 7tt ,.r.
He's made your homes the brightest,
The sun e'er shons upon, 4-aE,
For honer, right and freedom, ..a....
He's many battle won. ..
Stand up for UndIe Sam, my boys,
With hearts brave and true, Sd.
Stand up for Uncle Sam, my boys,
For he has stood by you. =.
Oh, strike for Uncle Sam, my boys,
t' For danger IS near; ..tr- .,.a "
' Yes Strike for Uncle Sam, my boys,
And all to you most dear. n., ,
Rebellious sons are plotting,
To lay the homestead low,
Their hads are madly lifted ...
To give the fatal blow. .~ VT
Stand up for Uncle Sam, my boys.
With hearts brave and true,
Stand up for Uncle Sam, my boys,
For he has stood by you.
Oh, fail for Uncle Sam, my boys,
If need be to save;
Yes ! fall for Uncle Sam, my boys,
Tho in Soldiers grave.
His flag SO long our glory.
Dishoncred shall not be
Bat heavenward float forever,
The banner of the free.
Stand up for Uncle Sam, my boys,
Vita hearts brave and true.
Stand up for Uncie Sam, my boys.
For be has stood by you.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1862-03-01
THE BEsr MEDICINE

Take the open air a"'.t 4
The more you take the better;
Follow Natures laws 4.
To the very letter.
lie. the doctors go
De. To the Bay of Biscay:
Let alone the gin, s ...
The brandy aud the whiskey.
Freely exercise s,.,
Keep your spirits cheerful,
Let no dread of sickness
Make you ever fearful.
Eat the simplest food, .....
Drink the pure Geld water,
Then YOU will do well,
Or at least you ought to.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1862-03-01

A disconsolate Jerseyman having adyer.
tised his wife for forsaking his bed and
board, the indignant woman rejoins in this
sharp way:
He says left his "bed and board
such impudenee. After ten years harsh
treatment and i'll usage, left my orn bed,
because unable longer to stand his abuse.
As to his board heaven save the
mark. Wherever we have lived the neigh
bors can testify that have had to support
myself with the earnings Of my needle,
while he has squandered his money in
liquor, &c. His torbdding all persons to
harbor or trust me on his account is un-
necessary, as | should be ashamed to use
his name for my benefit, even if it would
be taken, which is not the case. As 70 his
refusing TO pay any debts Of my contract
ing. he had first better consider the pro-
priety Of paying bis own, which several
grocers, furniture dealers, landlords, &C.,
would hail with delight.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1862-03-01

4 good looking fellow was arra;gned
before Court charged with having stolen a
watch. 1t was his first error, and he was
ready to plead guilty. The judge addressed
him in very gentle tones, asking him what
had induced him to commit the theft. The
young man replied that, having been un-
we'll for some time the doctor had advised
him to take something, which he accord
ingly did. The judge was rather pleased
with the humor of the thing, and asked
what had led him to select the watch
Why, said the prisoner, II thought if I
only had the time that nature would work
cure.'
The English travellers complain that
they are so hurried in our hotels, and so
little in our stage coaches. An Irish trav-
eler took different view Of the case -
Honest Pat came in at one o'clock and
was called in half an hour
"And what do you charge for that bit
Of lodgingY'
Twenty-Five cents" was the reply.
And sure twas kid of ye to call me
so airly If I'd slept till morning, Id not
had the money to pay the bill =
----~
TRUE FOR YOU, SIR "A modern writer
has 6nely said
Like the kuarled oak that has with.
stood the storms and thunderbolts Of cen-
turtles, man himself begins to die at the
cxtremities."
We suppose he does, sir. With this
Professor . patent blacking for his head,
and tha. Professors patent blackins for
his feet. We. rather think that the modern
elegant representative Of man himself y
has got good way into beginning to
Dye at the extremilies,' BY this time.
Mother" said Ike Partington, "did
you know that the Iron Horse has but
one ears" One ear! merciful gracious,
child, what do you mean?' "Why, the
engin ear, Of course" Il Isaac,' ex-
claimed the old lady, "take some Of Dr.
Bliss magic soap, wash your feet, and 90
s.raigh, to bed" Her knitting fell to the
floor, as she raised her hands exclaiming !:
What percushous mind that boy has
got
Coon ADvIcE.-A volunteer who prides
himself On the domestic arts he has
learned during camp life, writes home to
advise the girls not to be in hurry to
marry, for the boys will be home in short
time, and they can get good husbands that
can cook, wash and iron, and do general
housevork, or work in the garden, or run
errands for their wives.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1862-03-01

The Virginia rebels believe Zollicoffer
has given the Yankees a good licking
At last datsa the latter were giving hia a
good embslmiug. Vas1y Far.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1862-03-01
NUMBER 80.
oTHEM HARNESS."

A poet says-Oh, she was fair, but sor:-
row came and left her traces there. What
became Of the rest Of the harness he don't
state.-Erie Dispatch. F. @4.~2 a@a
Oh, no! Further down the hill of poe.
try it says-"Come wi me, my lassie. aud
I'll take thee to my hame" The balance
of the harness is still missing, however,
La Crosse Dem.
You are mistaken about that. The same
poet, speaking of the same young lady,
says-"And all the lines that sorrow left
have faded out in joy The rest of the
harness is still missng.-Exchange.
No ;--still another piece has turned
up, for further on the "poick' informs US
that-"Loving hands with simple flowers
had decked her for the bridal' Nothing
has yet transpired as 10 the whereabouts
of the rest of the harness ork Rep.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1862-03-01

There is man out West who has moved
so often, that whenever covered wagon
comes near his house. his chickens all
march up and fall on their backs and cross
their legs, ready to be tied and carried to
the next stopping place.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1862-03-01

A WIFE IN TROUBLE. Prny tell me,
my dear what is the cause Of those tears?"
"Oh, such disgrace
"Wbat is il my dear? Don't keep me
in suspense
"Oh, have opened one Of your letters
supposing it to be addressed to myself 1t
certainly looks more like Mrs. than Mr.
Is that all? What harm can there be
in a wile's opening her husband letter p
No harm in the thing itself, but the
contents-such disgrace
Who has dared to write me letter
uni, to be read by my wife ~
"Oh, no, it is couched in the most bean.
tiful language. But the contents the
contents = ---a. -.--.
Here the wife buried her face in her
handkerchief and commenced sobbing
aloud, while her husband eagerly took up
the letter and commenced reading the eps
tie that had nearly broken his wife heart
Ii was bill from the printer for two year s
subscription for the county newspaper.
A father the other day wishing to form
an alliance between his stupid son and
fine young lady Of his acquaintance. sent
his offspring to her with the following note:
Dear Madam, Allow me to present my
Bill for your acceptance. Yours, &c.
The lady sen. the spooney back to his
father with the following reply:
Dear Sir Allow me to inform YOU that
your Bill is vetoed. Yours also, &c.
Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1862-03-01
John b. Weller and Uncle Abe.

While 10 Washington We heard good
story in regard TO Uncle Abe and John B.
Weller "the Mexican killer"
Weller was at Washington settling his
accounts as Minister to Mexico. Alter
their adjustment, he concluded to pay his
respects to Mr.. Lincoln, with whom he
had served in Congress. He called at the
Presidential mansion. and was courteoasly
| received
"Mr. President said Colonel Weller,
81 have called on you to say that l most
heartily endorse the conservative position
you have assumed, and win stand by you
so long as you prosecute the war for the
preservation Of the Union and Ccnsti-
tuition"
Colonel Weller,' said the President
Il am heartily glad to hear you say this"
Yes, Mr.. President" said Weller; 81
desire an appointment to aid in this work"
What do you want, Coloael ?" asked
Abraham.
desire to be appointed Commodore Ia
the Nary" said Weller
The President replied" Colonel, I did
not think you had any experience as
sailor
81 never had, Mr.. President said Vel.
ler; "but, judging from the Brigader
Generals you have appointed in Ohio, the
less experience mau has, the higher po-
sition he attains."
Lincoln turned of with a hearty laugh,
aud said owe you one, Colonel"
-<>>~~---
An INFERENcE.-1o servant who had
lived many years with a clergyman, his
master took occasion to say: -.t
John, you have been a long time in
my service; l dare say you will be able to
preach sermon as we'll as l." ...
"Oh, no sir said John, but many an
inference have drawn from yours"
"Wel,' said the clergyman, Il will
give you text out of Job-let me know
what you infer from it. And the asses
snufted up the east wind
Well,' said John, "tbe only inference
| can draw from this is, that it would be
a long time before they would grow fat
upon it."
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1862-03-08
FAMILY SEWING MACHINES


Are valuable pro the things they
en- /, weii. what our's do before making
purchase
There is no DOUBT the value of Maehn for
Bat il only OF late ,hdt
ttib beg that the essential eemeBts of
chine adj tei the heaviest woui, also be
the . he embodied in Family Machine IL
nav well that L tier Machine is the
Machine rfered the puf lac which
sin piicIty rapiiy. durshEty aud certainty
While - a general thug the sewing mtchite
peopl- csudii enough ack n~w.d1e that ma
chimes qualed tor ntoui curing purposes they
almost he thai s. RS
Letter Ftntly Machinr IS not good theirs
the subject anime them
amt hat letter Family MschiG With
all capa!l- OF aeiug While
i'll the delicate material to perteei
turing purposes md this. If r-membered
any other Family Machines yet offered
the public.
The Nos 1 and 2 Machines great capacity, n
applicable for utacturing purposes.
No Machines especially adapted to all kinds
II Leather in Carriage Fri mining,
Boot and Shoe king Harness Msxing &c. hey OF
size with long enough take nuder il and
stitch the largest szel Dashes. There is scarcely
Trimn.er's stitching thar done
with them by hsni IS the saving time
is The table OF these Mac hines
inches long the shuttle win hold six times much
thread the shuttle OF those for tailoring purpo
The large machines wors as fast small ones
We have ssays hand Hemmin Gauges. Silk fwi st,
Linen snd Cotton Thread spooIs best Machine Oil
bottles.
We Needles, and would ell
persons using machine buy others. We
hi her prices the best The needles
sold by manufactured especially for machines
bal needle render the working of the machine
almost useless.
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1862-03-08
a Noble letter.

The following admirable letter from the
Secretary OF War admirable In tone and
still more admirable in spirit-will max G
deeper and stronger the admiration which
its author had so suddenly attained in the
pubic mind That il places The source Of
all victories where it b, lorgs, 40 Christian
mind will doubt. while the entire modesty
OF the letter is characteristic Of a noble mind
and true merit:
To NE Edroy 0ftAe New York 7r1bnnc:
Sui cannot suffer undue meiit to be
ascriied 10 MY official action. The glory
Of orr recent victories belongs TO the gal
laut officers and soldiers that fought the bat
ties. No share o, it belongs to me.
Much has recently been said of military
combinations and organizing victory. /
hear such phrases with apprchension.--
They commenced in in6del France With the
italian campaign, and ended at Waterloo.
Who can organize victory? Who can com
hine the elements OF success in The battle
field +? We owe our recent victories 10 the
spirit of tie Lord, that moved oar soldiers
to rush into bst,le, and filled the hears of
our enemies with terror and diSmav. The
aspiration that conquered il ba.Lc was IN
the hearts OF our soldiers and from on high;
and wherever there is the same aspira ion
there will be tie same results. Patriotic
spirit, with resolute courage in officers and
men, is military combination that never
failed.
We may we'll rejoice at the recent victo-
ries, for they teach us that battles are TO be
won now and by in the same and only
manner that they were ever won by any
people. or in any age since the days of
Joshua. BY boldly pursuing and striking the
foe, What, under the blessings of Provi-
dcnce, lconceive to be the organization of
victory and military combination to end this
war. was declared in few words by Geuer-
al Grants message to Gen. Buckner,-"I
propose 10 more Immediately Upon yoUr
,corhs" Yours tlulv,
+. NJ. STANTON.
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1862-03-08

1NHE subscriber hsvng conc uded to eontinuo 10 ~
army Offers his property for de which he has 90
cupied and dwelling several years. The Store
aud Of the dwelling very subsiAnAl bsek salS-
ding lately built the other and outbuiidngs N
good repair large snd garden 10 pass q -
premises we'll supplied With choice vsrless Of s0ls,
and usefui fruits and nss--
Alsososhes 10 cous dssisasse location tos
ort comm-.ots business. being sursoundsd ~
and hi gh nded ana the stilAAeeo
~rxeso Industrious The property will he sstd vtsh
without the present stock Goods CORES.
ponane sh the times. ndisCuaabls tide 1000
Those wishins purchase viii call vie yh0 viii
show the property. JAMES W SCOTT. -
s,' ts7otit swn-hin gteo. wsvss 0s.s Ia II
1./W
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1862-03-08
Northern Sugar.
f. NJ. STANTON

1t would be singular result of he rebel
lion. if the North and West should become
independent OF the Southern chimes in the
articles of sugar aud cotton. The cotton
culture will be tried next season in regions
farther north than it ever was before, with
what results time viii show. The various
products that will yield sugar will also be-
cone more extensively sought after.
The sorghum, the sugar beet and the
rock maple are all demanding attention.
They can all be used in Name and tie 9TH
er New England States. The maple and
the beet are at home in the NoTth, aud the
sorghum aud imphee produce abuudanily ia
the Western states. The earlier Varieties
OF imphee will undoubtedly ripen in Maine.
The sorghum has already been proven In
the West. and its culture next season will
be qusdrupled A sorghum convection
was held at Rockford. Illinois, las fall.
where many samples OF the syrup and some
sugar wasexhibi ed and much valuable in
formation eiicited. which viii lead 10 i'm
provements both of culture and manufac.
ture the coming season. One indhilual
had made 10 gallons OF syrup from az acre
Another had made 100 gallons fro n three
fourihs of an acre. Seven gallons Of juice
made one OF syrup. a
The Illinois II rticultural Society at their
meeting held in Chicago not Ion ago. when
discussion was held upon the sabJect Of the
production and manufacture OF Sorghum syT-
up and sugar. Among other Interesting
facts IL sppears that. ''the cultivation Of The
sugar cane in the northwest IS 20 lon4er a
matter o, doubt. As high As 500 gallons OF
syrup have been produced per acre. One
hundred and hty gallons is a small yield;
and II vas confidently asserted that they
would soon have a home supply and sar
plus TO export TO eastern states
Our farmers in northern New Engla,G
should be preparing themselves for the ma
pie sugar campsign. The time for II viii
Poon be along and should be improved in
every way Possibls.--NGise Farmer.
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1862-03-08
Speaking MS EsinG is :, Growd.

Among The crowd OF persons who were
Oh the levee YESTERDAY morning. looking at
the STEAMBOATS, loaded with the Fort DontI-
son prisoners. was one individual who made
himself quite prominent by The tone and
manner OF hi. con, eIsatiou; TcmaIkug that
the prisoners on those bosts had. il the
truth we're know. more friends than they
would have had were they Union men in
tie hands 81 secossionsts.' > anu much more
OF "A sedi,ious sort, aud winding up by say
ing. It's Iot sale tor a man to speak his
MUD now days IN this cry for he does not
know his friends from bis foes, as people are
often arrested for remarks made III common
conversation. aud there might be an officer
in this crowd now, III fact, nearer me than
/ am aware Of"
That's so; am that man; and YOU must
Come along with me- broke upon the
toDlsbed ears of the secessionisi, who WAS
none other than W. j. Snatton, Esq, of
this CT Y. who felt a heavy hand laid upon
his shoulder.
..Wha does this mean 2"
ut means that | arrest YOU for treason
able language" AT The same time the officer
displayed to the astoLished vision OF Mr.
Straiton silver shield, worn as a badge.
with u. 5. Police" !egibly engraved there
on. -Ha
The upshot OF tho hole affair is that Mr.
j. w. S,ratton is now confined in the ely
military prison. corner Of Filth and Myrtle
Streets, where he will have ample time 10
reflect upon the consequences of speaking
his mind in a crowd IS Louis Deneo
cy0t Feb. 81.
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1862-03-08
Who are the Traitors.

After revolving the matter very seriously
IN cur minds We conclude that OF two men.
ore in arms ssains, his Cover ment. led on
oy designing men; the other opposing any
means of resistance 10 i'm or accon,, :,
the erpen'e. and pras ing for Corpromise.
that The latter is the greater traitor A
Southern man may haye-an excuse for Il
treason, but the Northeru man who unhatas
him in il has no excuse. Aud these ps,,
all OF them. would. il in the South. be ,Ls
leaders OF this rebellion. Anti.tax Is ami.
war, anti war is Compyomise; and Comnro
mise is but the -cloakt,tderSw which Traa.
SON hides.-Eafos Reeixsr. s
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1862-03-08


BY DEAR REDs ] now teke n.y pen IL
hand Tor the purpose Of holding cotamuflon
with you, through the silent med.am OF pen
aud paper. l nave jast learned that Tie
lines are now open IS far as Fort DoneIson
IN Tennessee, and | avail myself with alac-
lity, Of the Opportunity now presented o.
esuming our correspondence. Your many
IicDGs in this section would ike 10 be in
formed on various topies-'or inEtance:
How are you any how
How does dying in the last ditch" agree
with your general health
How is the constitution down your way?
Do you think there is any government :?
Is Yancey well and able TO eat his oats?
When will Buckner take his Christmas
dinner in Louisville ?
Is Lloyd Tilghman still langing Union
men in the first district?
/, Floyd still "riRing cannon and other
small arms?
How is Pillows last ditch and when will
he crafty his numerous friends by "dy ing
in the sane?
How is the Southern Heart?"
Are you still able to whip five to one?
What is your opinion OF the Dutch race?
Did the recognition Of the Southern Con-
federancr by Eng land and France benefit
you much?
" here is the Provisional Government
Of Kentucky, and what is il kept in
Where is the Louisville Nashville Bow
ling Green Coulter now published? Say?
And lastly. what do you think of your
selves. any how
prompt answer viii relieve many anx-
iuus hearts. Yours in horn,
A LINCOLN MAN
-NITEn Sr AIEs Eeh Is lSGo
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1862-03-08
TEI-W "A " II
8ARN oMAEs.

full assortment OF Bird Cages. Seed, Bottles and
Cups, Nests, 10 ices - the stove store OF
TII0<. j. BARG1S.
Richmond Feb p, Is62 ST
The Richmond palladium. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1855-1875, 1862-03-08
State Of Indiana Wayne Co. S. S

IN The Circuit Court OF ayue County in the State Of
Indiana, August Term, A. u 1872.
Mary +. Willyy)
William Wi'lcv.N
E1EE IT KNOWN. That the "a lay Of August in the
- 80 the above named pltin'jf by his
neys I'd il The ose % tbs CIek Of the WsyGe Circuit
Court sint said d. fenfa the aho
entitled toget.. with AFFIDAVIT competent
person that SUI dereataut. Niilism Wiley q
resident the Of Ia isHa said defendant is there
fore hereby notified Of the fling and peudercy OF said
npitat n. and that unless he appear and
denur th.reto, the calling of
the second dag The sad Court. b. be
gus and held the Court House in CenteTgle the
LIT hoIi in said complaint aud the
and things therein contained alleged, viii be
hea and deter ned in his absence.
SOL MEREDITH, Clerk.
y. TersLER. Atty. for Ia.
Feb.