The Goodhue volunteer., 1862-07-02
HOW CAMEIO BE MARRIED.

poets their own masters.
HOW CAMEIO BE MARRIED.
1t may he funny, but I've done it..
I've got a rib and baby. Shadows
dcparted-oyster stews, brandy .julips,
cigar boxes, oot,jacks, absconding
hirt-buttons whist and dominoes.
Shadows resent-hoop skirts, band
boxes, CATERS, long stockings, juvenile
dresses, little willow chairs, cradles
pap, sugar teats, paragoric, hive syrup,
soothing syrup, senna, salts, squills,
and doctors bills. Shadows future
more nine pound babies, moro hive
syrup, etc, etc. III just tell you how
got caught.
| was always the darndcstz most tea
j custard, bashful fellow you ever did
see; it was kinder in my line to be
taken with the shakes every time I saw
p pretty gal approach me, and I'd cross
the street any time rather than face
one. Twasan't because I didn't like
the critters, for ifI was behind fence
10 okipg through knot hole, I couldn't
10 ok at one long enough.
Well, my sister Lib, gave party
one night, and I stayed away from
home because I was too bashful to
face the music. I hung around the
house, whistling Old Dan Tucker
dancing to keep my feet warm; and
watching the heads bobbing up
and down behind the window curtains
and wishing the laundering party
would break up so l could get to my
room. ] smoked up bunch Of cigars
and as it was getting late and mighty
uncomfortable, concluded to slim up
the door post. No sooner said than
done, and I quickly found myself snug
in bed. "Now," says l, <*let her rip
dance till your wind gives outn' and
cu11liny under the quilts, Morpheus
grabbed me.
was dreaming Of soft-shell crabs
and stewed tripe, and was having 4
good time when somebody knocked at
the door and walked me up "Rappe2'
again. | laid low. crap, rap, rap y
|; Then | heard u Whispering and
knew there was q whole raft of girls
outside.
"Rap, rap!'
Then Lib sings out
! "Jack, are YOU in there 90
7 eyes," says /.
Then came roar Of laughter!
@Let us in'' says she.
"l wou't," says I, "can't you let q
fellow alone ?:''
care you ,-bcl?" says she.
'S1 am" says I.
"Get up says she.
81 won't''saysI. l. Then came anoth.
er laugh. BY thunder! began to get
; rilcd.
SECT out, you pctticoated scare
crows!" l cried.
"Can't you get beau without haul
in fellow out of bed? l won't &C
home with you'll won't so you may
: clear out ?" Then throwing boot al
the door, felt better. But, presently
oh! mortal buttons, I heard a still
: small voice, very much like sister Lbs
and it said:
"Jack, you'll have to get up, for al
the girls things are in there ~
Oh, lord, what pickle think of me
: in bed' all covered with shawls, mufs
bonncts and cloaks, and twenty girls
outside waiting to get in If ha6
stopped to think l would have fainte6
on the spot. AS it was rolled ou
' among the bonnet wire and ribbons in
4 a hurry.
"Smashr' went the millinery in
every direction. I had to dress in the
dark-tor there was crack in tht
, door, and the girls ,ciN peek-and the
. way tumbled about was death or
straw hats. The critical moment came
opened the door and found mysel
right among the women.
" Oh, my lcg-horn cries one" st1n,
; dear darling winter velvet,'' eric:
another, and they pitched in-the,
+. pulled me this way and that, boxed m,
ears; and one bright eyed little piec,
: - Sal-, her name was-put he
+ arms right around my neck, aud kiss
ed me right On my lips. Human ma
e ture couldn't stand that and give he,
as good as she sent. 1t was the frs
It time ever got taste, and it wa
0 powerful good. Ibelieve could hav,
5 kissed that gal from Julias Caesar til
= the Fourth of July.
y Jack" says she, "we are sorry t.
# disturb you, but won't you see MI
: home 20
RI Eyes" said /, II WILL" did do i
/ and had another smack at the gate
If too.
After that, we took turtle-dovin,
8 after each other, and both Of US SIGH
ing like = barrel of new cider wheI
,f we were away from each other.
III Twas at the close Of glorious sum
IS mer day-the sun was setting behin,
i a distant hog-peu-the chickens wcr
l'Igoing to rocst-the bull frogs wer
commencing their evening .ongs-th
u polly vogs in their native mud puddle