Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1862-05-30
Newspaper Accounts.

Some fellow-a collector for newspapers
and other periodcals-lutclv threw up lis
commission, and sent back the unpaid ac.
counts, with notes." which the spirit hap
pcned to lay hold on, and they are presented
in tangible shape to the world. As they
are living pictures. met with here and else.
where, We make extracts. The collector
says: ............. -........
To the Edit0r:-SiR: You furnished me,
as you rccollcct, with list Of one hundred and
seventeen owing subscribers have called
upon one hundred and four Of them, and
have the honor of paying to your order the
sum of three dollars and twelve cents, beng
the amount to which you are entitled. re-.
turn you the list numbered from one to one
hundred and sixteen and give the reply to
each.
No. lis minister. lie says in the first
place, nc never got one half the numbers Ga
lie according to the account of the postmas-
teri and the next place your joker's column
was too scurrilous. Besides, he knows by
the tone Of your editorials that you drink
tie wants nothing more to do with you-
never wants to hear from YOU again
Mo. 2-Is in Jail for debt He has not
seen half dollar for year. Says he would
pay with the utmost chccrfuncss il he had
the money, but had to borrow a shirt to put
on last Sunday. Admircs your paper won.
derfully, and hopes You will continue sending
to him. lie wishes You to take bold stand
in favor of the abolition of Imprisonment fo,
debt, as he thinks it would be very popu-
lar movement with gentlemen in his situa.
:ion-sendS his best respects.
M Ais n vnnnr Incfnr Sovc ,.a,,. ~,
per is beneath the notice of a gentleman,
would not give A. for cart load. Saws
you inserted an article rejecting upon the
profession. Only wishes he could catch you
here, would ma cyou smell -. Is going
to pur>uade every body that takes your pa
per to stop it. Cursed your bill, and says
you may get it the best way you can.
No. Ais an old maid. Says You arc al
ways making fling at the single ladies' Of
an uncertain age. Wouldn't pay you if she
was rolling in wealth, and you had not enough
to buy crust Of bread. Sent all the papers
she had back a month ago, and says now she
has sent them she don't owe anything. Says
she is even with you, and intends to keep SO
until the day of Judgment.
No. 5-Is a gambler Says he was com
plctcly cleaned out last week at the races
Couldn't accommo late his grandmother
with halfdime if she were starving. Likes
your paper tolcrably, would like it much bet.
ter if you published more races, and would
occasionally give an account of cock fight
Hopes you won't think hard of him for not
paying you now. but has prospect of soon
having some loose change, as he is after a
rich young grccnhorn who arrived here last
week. Will pay your bill out of the pluck
ines. ....... ~. ......, ...''.
No. G--Is an old drunkard Hasn't col
and never expects to have Gathered up all
the old papers he had, and sold them for q
half pint of rum to the grocery keeper t.
wrap groceries in. .....t ... ...
No. lis a magistrate. Sworc he never
owed you cent, and told me was a low
rascal for trying to swindlc him in such q
bareface manner. Advised NE to make tracks
in little less than no time, or he would &C,
out warrant against me, as a common chea,
and have me sent to prison. Is by all odds
the meancst man have seen yet. Ncvc,
will go near him again. ... .. ... ..,.r....
No. SIS politician. Says tina, although
you profess to publish a neutral paper, it i.
rot so. Thinks he has seen considerable
squirting towards the side he is opposed to-
The collector concludes with accept my
resignation. and strike me from the list o
agents. have been called a swind!er, rascal
villain, bloo1suckcr. These are some of tht
names they think proper to aestow upon me
| tried fighting while, and thrashcd some
of your patrons like blazcs, but occasionally
got licked like thunder myself"