Fremont journal. [volume] (Fremont, Sandusky County [Ohio]) 1853-1866, 1862-05-02
Uncle samuel,s reeth.

Once on time mutiny arose among
the teeth Of a worthy man, iu good health
and blessed with sound constitution, com
monty known as Uncle Samuel. The cut
ting teeth, or inctsors, and the eye teeth
or CANNES, though not nearly so many, all
counted, nor SO large nor so strong as the
grinders, and by no means so white, but on
the contrary, very much discolored, began
to find fault with the grinders as not good
company enough for them. The eye-teeth,
being very sharp and fitted for seiziug and
tearing, and standing out taller than the
rest, claimed to lead them. Presently, one
ofthem complained that it ached very bad
ly, and then another and another. Very
seon the cutting teeth, which pretended that
they were supplied BY the same nerve, and
were proud of it, began to ache also. They
all agreed that it was the fault Of the grind
ers.
About this time, Uncle Samuel, having
used his old toothbrush (which was never
good one, having no stiffness in tho bris-
tles,) for four years, took new one recon-
mended to him by great number Of peo-
pie as homely, but useful article. There
upon all the front-teeth, one after another,
declared that Uncle Samuel meant to scoul
them white, which was q thing they would
never submit to, though the whole civilized
world was calling on them to do so. Sc
they all insisted on getting out Of the sock
cts in which they had grown and stood fol
SO many years. But the wisdom-teeth
spoke up for the Others and said:
"Nay, there be but twelve Of you front
teeth, and there be twenty Of US grinders
We are the strongest, aud good deal near
est the muscles and the joint but we can
not spare you. We have put up with your
black stains, your jumping aches, and your
snappish looks, and now we are not going
to letyou 60, under the pretensc that you
are TO be scrubbed white If you stay. You
don't work half so bard as we do, but you
can bite the food well enough, which we
can grind SO much batter than you. We
belong 10 each other. You must stay
Therenpon the front-teeth, first the ca
mines or dog teeth, next the incisors or cut
ting-teelh, proceeded to declare themselves
out of their socketss. and no longer belong.
ing 10 the jaws OF Uncle Samuel.
Then UDole Samuel arose in his wrath,
and shut bis jaws tightly together, and
svors that he would keep them shut iill
those aching and discolored teeth Of bis
went 70 pieces IN theirsockets, Il need were,
rather than have them drawn, standing,
As some Of them did, at the very opening Of
his throat and stomach.
And wit You will please 10 observe,
all those teeth are beginning 10 ache worse
than ever, and 70 dseay very fast, 50 that il
viii take . great deal Of gold to stop the
holes that are forming ia them. Bat the
great white grinders arc as sound as ever
and will reinain so until Uncle Samuel
thinks the time has come for opening his
mouth. 70 the meantime they keep on
grindiog 10 quiet way, though the others
have had to stop biting for a long time
When Uncle Samuel opens his nouth, they
will b ae ready fer work rs ever; but those
poor discolored teeth will be tender for q
great while, aud never be so strong as they
were before hey fooliahly declared them
selves out q lhoil aocketa.--- Oliver Wendell
Holmes.