The New York herald., 1862-03-01

The Forthcoming Report Of the Kitchen
Committee.
Tho inquisitorial Kitchen Committee Of Beau
Hickman has completed its arduous labors,
closed its minute Investigations, and Is nearly
ready to present its voluminous reporI From
the direction which the examinati0 u Of the
committee have taken, and from certain fore
shadowings of the forthcoming report, it is evil
dent that Beau Hickman's production will be
as readable as q piquant French novel, as full
OF details as cook book, as elaborate as
Patent Office report, as comprehensive as Hum
boldts Cosmos" and as important as Beau
Hickman himself The public awaits its ap-
pearance with anxious and natural impatence.
The Russians give little lunch just before
dinner, in order to whet appetite; and, upon
the same principle, we are inclined to hint at q
few of the subjects of which Beau Hickman
treats, in order that we may stimulate, without
quito satisfying, the laudable curiosity of the
public. The Kitchen Committee was originally
instructed to investigate the government CEN
sorship Of the press, and we presume that q few
pages of the report will be devoted TO this sub
jeet, although it has recently become tho GUS
tom Of investigating committees to entirely
ignore the legitimate object of their re-
search and branch off into new and un-
expected paths of inquiry. All Of the sup
pressed kilograms will be published in full
by Hickman, and a rich and rare collection
they must be. From the time of Harvey, the
Tribune's Washington correspondent, down to
the present, the telltale kilograms will show
who has been endeavoring to give aid and COM
fort to the enemy, and what abolition journals
have been covering up their treason by thin
mask of loyalty. Who sends the abolition at
tacks upon General Mcclellan and the family
of the President will then be fully revealed;
and we are not at all surprised that the Tribune
and its abolition contemporaries are striving to
suppress Hickman's report, as the censor sup
pressed their dispatches 1t has always been
the aim Of the abolition papers to prostitute the
liberty of the press into reasonable licentious-
ness, and no one outside Of JEFF. Davis do
minions regrets that Secretary Stanton has
silenced them for q while by his emphatic
ukase.
But the Kitchen Committee by no means re-
stricted its investigations to the censorship of
the press. On the contrary, Hickman has pin
ned all sorts of miscellaneous matters to his
original plan, as washerwoman hangs out
linen sundries on q clothesline. His report
will be so varied and extensive in its range
of information that the Edinburg Encyclo-
pedia" will degenerate into mere schoolbook,
and a copy Of Hickman's miscellany will be
equivalent to a complete Astor Library. OF
course it was necessary for Hi Hickman to find
out the truth or falsity Of each suppressed des-
patch, and he was therefore compelled to ex-
anime the person who sent the telegram the
individual to whom it was addressed, the man
who told the telegrapher about the fact or ru-
NOR stated, and every one who knew, or was
supposed to know, or might have known, or,
under the circumstances, ought to have known,
anything about it. Then, to test the reliability
Of these necessary witnesses, Hickman had to
inquire about their private affairs, their break
fasts, dinners and suppers, their Wallets, cham
bermaids and cooks, their houses, lands and
horses, and also about the affairs, breakfasts,
Wallets, houses and 30 forth of every person
with whom the witnesses had any acquaintance.
A less able or less conscientious gentleman
might have thought this particularly unneces-
sary; utHickman always does his whole duty,
and we verify believe that it was want oftime, and
not lack of inclination and ability, which prevent
ed him from summoning to Washington every
man, woman and child in the country, making
an inventory of the contents of every closet,
cupboard, drawer and dusthole of every
house on this continent and covering himself
all over with ink, dirt and glory in writing up
the details of his examinations.
In the time he had, however, Hickman has
done great deal towards this universal in
vestigation. Consequently his report is as null
tifarious in its subjects as it is voluminous in
its size, and before his overshadowing fame all
other investigators will sink into insignif-
canoe,
As tho dim candles die at noon.
Why, Hickman has examined Watts, the
White House gardener, whose connection with
the telegraphic censorship is as remote as that
OF Dull Run Russell with truth. The results
of this examination are SO minutely noted that
Hickman's report will become standard bo-
tanical work, and there will be no higher au-
thority upon vegetable, market and landscape
gardening, flowers, herbs and fruits, grass
plots, borders and shrubbery, pots, rakes and
rollers. Hickman has examined the White
House cooks, and his report will supersede the
cook book of Mrs. Glass, and be in every
dwelling where roasts, broils and stews,
ovens, gridirons and turnspits, frying pans,
kettles and toasting forks are matters
of interest Hickman has examined the White
House chambermaids, and especially investi-
gated their utensils, in order to report upon
mops, brooms and slop' pals. From the White
House coachman Hickman has elected many
raluahle facts about snavins Qlandara and