Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1862-01-25
Fact, Fancy and Fun.

bomO3ru.
--Good is always i seed whose Lloa-
som IS beauty.
An inspiring sight for a glazier-the
earl y dawn, when it breaks in the win
dows.
Why are very cid people necessarily
prollX and tedious? Because lhev di.
late (die late
Miss Prim never sits under anv
pastor who dares to talk to her about
he naked truth
When woman intends to give
man the mittcn, she commences bv
knitting her brows.
Very like whale a. the schoo'.
boy said, when he looked at his hand
after getting Gaming.
We are told to weigh our thoughts;
most men ard women would need
very small pair Of scales.
Many who thought themselves
fairly sci up i'll life have been upset
by the present commotion.
Iron exists III the blood and pre-
serves 1t; gold, or the love of it, exists
III the heart and corrupts it.
Some lespotic governments have
quite As much reason to be afraid of
dead authors as of living ones.
a pleasant jest III time of misfortune
Is courage to the heart, strength to the
arm, and digestion to the stomach.
With every child We loose we see
deeper into life. and with G. " added
lens we pierce farther into the SKY.
when Il boy gets to think himself
above parental authority, his parents
should try to shake him in his belief.
The editor Of paper in Indiana
wants to know if Western whisky were
ever seen ''coming through the rye"
We are prisoners as often as we
bolt our doors, cxilcs as often AS we
travel, and dead as often az we sleep.
The last years of vicious man
are ever miserable. An ill-spent life.
like an illworn shoe, runs down at the
heel.
The two most difficult things to con-
ceal are love and drunkenness; words,
tones, looks, gestures, gait all betray
them.
when man takes more pleasure
in earning money than in spending it,
he has taken the first step toward
wealth.
Let any lady paint who choose
If she raises hue upon her checks.
that's no reason you should raise hue
and CRY.
The pay of soldiers who are pris-
oncrs Of war goes on the same rs
though they We're still serving in their
regiments.
"A wit once asked peasant what
part he performed in the great drama
Of life ? Il mind my own business"
was the reply.
The gentleman so often spoken Of
in novels who rivctcd people with his
gaze, has row obtained employment At
a boiler manufactory.
The man who put up a stovc-pipc
without profanity has been found, and
4 company has been secured him for
exhibition, in the principal cities.
"A wedding recently occurred at q
church i'll Boston, Al wE,ict, the bride
appeared i'll white, and sfc two brides
maids respectively in red ani blue.
There is man in Michigan 70
thin that when the Sheriff is after him
he crawl< i4to his rifle and watches his
adversary through the touch-hole-
-"What is the difference between
the Emperor Of Russia and bcggar?''
One issues (shoes) his nanfestoes, and
the other manifests bis toes without his
shoes.
Not so haref, my good man, said
Nibhlrs to q frar-dresSer, who WAS
brushing hrs head AS r groom easr1es
81 lsor>e,-'thtt's enough to- F:slse ones
dander.'
A Connecticut soldier writes home
that the Comrnissarv, at Annapolis has
given the bows SO mlaeh mule meat
that the ears of the whole regiment
have grown 8 l-2 inches since their ar
rival at the Maryland capital.
The editorial office of Kenoshs
paper is located Immediately over re-
c1nitine office, and the editor says the
fling and drumming drives everything
ont Of bis head What scanpering
there must be down over his shirt col
lar u Lacrosse Democrat.