Memphis daily appeal. [volume] (Memphis, Tenn.) 1847-1886, 1862-10-28
The Bznckerel EsriGade-Atte5npt 90 81 Rag
Confederate ssa5d by strnteEy.

!; es1z.a. o1lilSs s.l. = $500
The BznclsereI Esrigade-Attessspi 60 q Rag
Confederate szajd by strntegy.
/ From Letters OF Orphsua c. Kerr
! And now let your mind hy, like a wearied
dove. to the celebrated Arabian scenes of festive
/ Accomac, where the Mackerel brigade continues
TO Teconnoiter in force, and awaits the death Of
the Confedeiaey by old age. Men, my boy,
| who entered this strategic wsr IN the full bloom
! of youth, now 60 with STOPPING shoulders and
| tottering gait when they have a bsTrel OF Hour
to carry, and the bloom has departed from every
part of them save the extreme tip Of that handle
Of the human eountenance which FIRST meets the
/ edge of an open door in the DARK. Even the
Mackerel brass baud begins to grow feeble, often
making pitiable attempts to execute SHINING
strains on his night-key bug.e, as though uucon-
sclous that, by long disuse IN ais pocket, it had
become clogged with bread and cheese.
There is on the southern border Of Accomac,
my boy, solitary house, containing furniture
aud the necessares of life, which the Comic Sec
ton Of the Mlckerel Brigade had been ordered
70 guard. Il stands immediately on the verdant
banks Of Awlkwyet river, wh-re that stream
must be at least ten inches deep and as the
first regular bridge IS ten miles below it, of
course the Comic Section, to guard the house,
was placed at the end Cf the bLidga-it being a
principle Of national strategy never toIecoguiz3
any Confederate raid not made across a regular
bridge.
Now it caanced that while the Comic Section
at the bridge was taking g sh0r. nap, having
been NJ very late the night before, and while
the beloved general Of the Msckorel Brigade
was visiting portion Of his beautiful home,
circle in Paris, that a very dirty ContedeTGcy,
riding in a seedy go-csrt, made his appearance
on the bank Of the river opposite the house and
commenced to make raid right through the
water to the shore on this side His geOmetTical
steed wet his feet thereby, and the wheels of his
squesking vehicle were dampened by lhi5 bar
barisn wsy of offsring irregular opposition to
the government; put what cared he for the rules
Of civilized warfare, which are the only author
lied West Point edti0ns} Like al his infatU-
atad countrynen, he was rendered less than
strategic by the demon of secession, and be
crossed. by the unmii5ary ford instead of by the
military bridge.
Tais is, indeed, heart siekenirg.
There was Maekerel chap who slept in the
house to take care Of large black bottle, and
when he heard the go cart driving up before the
door he stuck his head out Of the window, and
says he:
What is it which you would have in these
irregular proceedings, bIr. Stuart %
Ihe ConiedsEacy dism9untsd from his chariot
tied bag Of cats over his chargers head, suc
says he:
a. I'nl making a raid"
The M4ckersl waved his hand southwark, and
says he:
You'll find the bridge just below. Dom,
stsy here" says the Gacheyel, earnestly, "or
you'll exasperaje the North % fuzzy"
Here the Confederacy made sCme remark IN
which the name of the North and a pr0fane ex-
petive We're connected very closely, and pro-
eesdei to bling from the house e hobby horse
which stOed in the hall. After placing this val
uGble article in his go-csrt, ne next brought out
q cooking stoves closely following this with
some chairs, dining table, two feather beds, q
tea set, four wine glasses and some tum5lers, q
looking glass, four sheets, two outage bsdstesds
q Brussels carpet, and g Maltese cat With
these and lew other exceptions, my bog, Le
made 10 attempt to disturb private property
thereby proving that The Presidents Pfcclana-
ton has already produced g wholesome gH--g i'll
the degenerate South.
While this was going on, the Yigilaut E.cE-
erel guard descended privately from q back
window, and made a forced march 20 where the
Comic Section were watching something which
looked like man in Tie Southern rzru-iu-
3tantiy making known tine 8udaci0us ra5d of he
IlieTiHg Con.edoIacy. Gud asking whether the
new levies under the Executives last cal, were
likely to arrive early enough to take measures
Tor the prevention Vi the capture Of Wash
ington.
Whls the question wss in debate, my boy,
the beloved general Of the Iacaerel Brigade ar
rived with bis trunk and umbrella, ffCm Paris,
and having caused it to be telegraphed 10 all the
reliable morning journals, that the Confeleracy
Was now IN q tar way to be captured alive. he
81 once took measures 90 cut off the retreat of
tie latter. Captain William Brown, with cJl-
pany 3, regiment ., was at once ordered to con-
stTuct pontOon bridge across the river some
miles below, and watch il vigilsuLy day aud
night; Captain Bob Shorty and Colonel W0o-
eTt WObiEsoD, vita ths Anatomical cavalry,
were dispatched to take possession OF q railroad
Leading to MaDassasi willis. Captain SamvulG
Ssmi5b, with the balance Of the Comic See
tion was commanded TO make delour Of three
hundred miles, and eHdsGyor to reach the IN
vsded house before midnight set in.
All these movements were in aec0rjsUcs with
profound strategy, my boy, and cut off tie Con
t=derscy from retreat by ever route In the
world, excep. thu Insignificant one he came by.
Satisfied thst the war YVES goiug to end in
about sixty days, after which we should have
guard hastened bsck TO the d3micil, which he
reached just ia time to find the CouledeTacy
topping his go-cart with kindiag wood iom the
cellar.
I regret TO say, my boy-I blush for my spe-
cies as I make the incredible TcvelaIon-tla5
upon receiving the informs ion Of his surround
ing and proOa5le strategic capture by tue valiant
Mackerel Brigade, the iTfeverent CoIf-deracy
burst into a hideous horse laugh, aud at once
p-ocesjed to appropriate tho poor Msckere
chaps own shoes and stockings With the
deepest horror l record that he also twesked the
Mackerei's nose.
"a did net intend this ss permanent ir7a
sion" says the impious Confsderacy, as he re-
mounted his g0-cavt and turned his geonetrical
Ars5iaa toward the water again but have
just married daughter Of Sjuth Carolina-one
of two twins-and reckoUed that I needed some
things to set mp house keeping Farewell, foul
Hessian, ''says the Confderac7, as be splssh5d
through tho water to the opposite bank" fare
thee well, and tell your f8ndsh ruler thas It IS
somewhat impossible to corquer the sunny
South"
The Mackerel chap gazsd ihoughtfully after
Che goeart as it disappeared on the other side of
the bslmy Alkwyet stream, aud says he: RGl
on, my eyring brother; but if you'd only stayed
here one more week, you might not have escaped
thus for seven whole days. Had the army been
insufficient to secure you" says the Mackerel to
himself, had tie army been insufficient 20 Sc
cure you, way, there's the police"
Arch SisEop Hughes.
a publication was made by us a day or two
since, copied from 3 Northern pepper, that this
pre,ate had been threstened with assassination.