Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1862-05-02
Q0lit an0 QQli5Oolll..
Hy Balls tLerebel8 don't relish. Foot

used to 1t.
ia Habitual intoxication is the epi-
tome of every crime.
.T Some persons shane the devil, not
by speaking the truth, but outlying him.
When the Southern Confederacy is
buried, Floyd will manage to steal its
grave clothes.
rs Fe who thinks himself happy is
generally correct; be who thnks HIMSELF
wise is often mistaken.
na7~ Kisses, says Sam Slick. are ike
creation, because they are made of moth
hing, and are very good.
Dg- The greatest friend of Truths is
time, her greatest enemy is prejudice, and
her constant companion is humility.
lB@ Comwell said, with truth that is
unusual that none ever mounts SO high as
he who does not know where he is going.
B@ A couple of sailors were recently
arrested in New Orleans for throwing buck
cts of tar over each ether. 1t was pitch
battle -.....
a@ There is no policy Ike politeness,
and good manner is the best thing in
the world either to get good name, or
supply the want of it,
la 1t is better to subject yourself to
the charge of inconsistency than to contin-
ue an Improbable intercourse with per-
son you have ceased to esteem.
E1 The worlds Judgment is right in
the main. There is gravltation Of socie-
ty towards common sense, at least to ap-
proving it, if not to setting uponit it,
HI= Nature, inmaking woman beau
tiful. sends her into the world with reco-
mendotioD, that all mankind honor, but
alas how often she herself dishonors it.
zHSB| The rbel Confederacy has enacted
free trade. 1t is like a spider in a corked
and sealed, generously declaring uurestric-
| ted intercourse with the whole world.
c#- In Brazil, the common Introduction
is said to be as follows: Sir, allow me to
introduce to you my friend, Mr. Jones'
IF be steals anything l am accountable.
BG= There are great men enough to IN
cite US to aim at true greatness, but not
enough to make US fancy that God could
not execute his purpose without them.
HSg- BOnaparte said be got five millions
Of revenue from the love of brandy, and
he wol'. be glad to know which of the
virtues would pay as much
ADVERTISE - Ny motto through life
has been-work and advertise. In busi-
ness advertising is the true Philosophers
stone.-Joha Jacob As'or.
p@ When some women get to talking
together they club all their husbands
faults for the general entertainment, just
as children club their cakes snd apples to
make common feast for the whole set.
Ia A young fellow has been congrat-
ulating himself upon having recently taken
a very pleasant trip. Upon inquiry it was
found that he had tripped and fallen into
a young lady lap.
Ia A little girl went into large
drug store, nd-walking up to the proprie-
tor, asked in half whisper-If little girl
hain't got no money, bow much chawing
gum do YOU give her for nothing !?
gF put outside my window large
box, filed it with mould, and sowed it with
seed What do you think came p
Wheat, barly, Or oats? No, policeman,
who ordered me to remove it?
HGT Lively, good humored old women
are what raisins are to fresh grapes. They
are withered but they are also preserved,
and appear to advantage in the freshest
company. I'D l
e BY six qualities may a fool be
known-angcr without cause, speech with
out profit, change without motive, inquiry
without an object, putting trust in stran-
/ ger, and wanting capacity to discriminate
between friend and foe
l8F Once gentleman WHO had the
marvellous gift Of shaping a great many
things cut Of orange peel, was displaying
his abilities at dinner party before Tbco-
dore Hook and Tommy Hill, and succeed
I ed in counterfeiting pig, to the admira-
ton of the company. Hill tried the same
feat, and after strewing the table with the
peel Of a dozen oranges gave it up. with
the exclamation, g Hang the pig! [ can't
make one" s. Nay, Hill" exclaimed
Hook, glancipg az the mess on the table,
you have done more instead Of one pig
you have made litter"
H% What are you digging there for?
said an idling fellow to steady laborer,
who was at work on piece Of waste land.