The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1862-08-20
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.


AN affecting sight-to see n young
man swapping kisses with a pretty girl.
7 WHAT mechanical apparatus do the fair
bathers at Ramsgate resemble9 Diving
bell(e)s.
so far, so good" rs the boy said
when he had finished the first pot of his
mothers jam.
Why is conscience like the strap on
the inside of an omnibus? Because it is
an inward check 10 the outward man. 81
AT town meeting in Ireland, it was
recently voted "that all persons in the
town owning dogs shall be muzzled."
The man who read n newspaper to the
entire satisfaction of another who was
waiting for it, talks of going on TO the
stage.
Moan is thought to have had on board
a supply of" Exterminator," from the fact
that for nearly six weeks he did not see
aryrat.
AN act by which we make one friend
and one enemy, is loosiug game, because
revenge is much stronger passion than
gratitude.
A COUNTRY girl writing to her friends,
says of the polka, that the dancing does
not amount 10 much, but the hugging is
heavenly.
FASHIONABLE circles were never so nu-
merous rs they are now. Almost every
lady that appears in the streets is the CEN
ter of one.
lT's very pleasant TO take lady TO a
theater, and TO find on reaching the door
that you have left your purse in your 9th
or pocket.
THERE is man in Louisville so know.
ing, that the men who don't know their
own minds came TO him for information
on the subject.
MISS Fantadling says the first time she
locked arms with young man, she felt
like Hope leaning on her anchor. Poet
ic young lady that.
ONE Of our subscribers in the country,
who has read about sailors "heaving up"
anchors, wants TO know if it is sea-sick.
ness that makes 'em do it.
AN eccentric genius in view of the
failure of the Atlantic cable, suggests that
the company make trout line of it, and
90 into the fishing business.
The young man that supplies West
Troy with the measles is now making his
spring tour Families supplied by leav-
ing their names at the Post-office.
A NORTHERN editor predicts that "wool
will be king" Prentice wants TO know
whether he means wool on the back Of a
sheep, or wool on the head of darkey.
Tom Hood said that when Young
man, he couldn't wink at a girl, but that
she took it rs an offer of marriage. The
consequence was, that good many girls
got Hoodwinked.
The Evansville Journal says that a
man may lick his wife like thunder inthat
place for dollar. We know several men
who mean to emigrate there with their
wives and dollar.
A pREcooIous youth being asked in
his geography class what they raised in
South Carolina, replied, ",tbey used to
raise niggers and cotton, but now they
are raising the devil"
"DoN'r work so hard, my dear, you
haven't much of a constitution" "Con-
stitution, father? I've got constitution
like q horse-I really believe I've got the
constitution of the United States"
A MAN came very near dying in Cali
fornia, in consequence OF drinking a glass
of water and putting on a clean pair of
stockings-an experiment which he had
not tried for number of years before.
A DANDY, whiskered up to the very
eyes, was passing along the street, when
SVuPio vi JViil eiIo VI u iaHu S'uioS W
served him. "Shiver my timbers, Jack" !"
said one 10 the other, that fellow looks
like rat peeping out of bunch of oak
um."
TRoops FROM THE NoRTH-wEsT.-The
Northwest has furnished the following
number of troops for the Union army
This, of course, only includes former calls {:
Illinois, 69,3l9 Iowa, l9,505
Indiana, 49,o95 Minnesota, 5,231
Michigan, 10000 Kansas, $500
Missouri, 4O,256 Nebraska, 1,24O
Wisconsin, 22,5s9 Colorado, 1900
Tota, 237,53l
KELLEY's IsLAND.-This famous local
ity is determined that the rebels shall
have little moro grape" At meet
ing on the evening Of the 9Th, over eigh-