The daily Green Mountain freeman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1861-1865, 1862-10-02
Letter from 0rpheus C. Kerr.
WILLIAM BROWN ON THE CONSERVATIVES


here in the early lart OF the week, my boy, by
the return of the Venerable Cannon, from visit
to his aged family at Mugville, whittier he goes
! regularly once a month for the benefit OF the sa-
gacous chaps of the press. great blessing Is
| the Venerable Cannon to the palladium ct our
liberties, my boy for no sooner does our army
cease TO change its base OF operations, and do
other things calculated to make the war interest
ing and lengthy than he Yulls out his rutfieS, signs
frequently, and melts away to Mugve. Then all
the sagacous press chaps rush TO the telegraph
office and fash ieversh paragraphs to t. t intel
lgent morning journals Highly important
Sudden departure Of The Venerable Cannon Tor
Mugve to attend the death-bed of relative
Believed in military circles thai this indicates "a
change in the Cabinet-Border states delegation
has again waited on the Plesident-More vigor-
Gus policy needed
| Whereupon the editors of all the intelligent
morning journals ec>tatcaIy print the paragraphs
afixing to them: ".Note by Editor. Washington
is town in the so called District of Columbia
situated on the Potomac. We inter from our
correspon~ ent's dipa.ch that it has not yet been
taken by the rebels"
American journalism, my boy, in presenting
vast amount OF matter daily, is emlnentiy calcu-
lated to impress the youthful brain with keen
sense of what 4 wide distinction there Is between
Mind and Matter
Immediately on the return of the Venerable
Cannon he commenced saying 'hlngS which
made ali the "sst of mankind seem like wlthered
chidren in comparison with him. lie was beam
ing genally On the ihrong at Wizards, and says
| to him:
3" l. would appear, my beloved Pater P0trlae,
that military matters are not quite as interesting
as woman with headache just now.
Tie Venerable Cannon pitied my youth, and
waved his hand fatty by way OF a silent blessing
to all the world. " Military affairs says he, et-
tulgentIy, zane like metaphysics" Military al
fairs, say> the Venerable Cannon, benl-gnantl!v,
"are like that which We 90 not uuderstand-they
defy our apprehension and comprehend our de-
tanCe.
Then ali the Congressman looked al each
other, as much as to say the Union was saved at
last and | felt like babe III the presence of the
great Behcmoh Of the Scriptures.
How the Venerable Cannon mas anything q
all TO do with TINS war, can't find out, my boy;
but when the affeclonate popu'ace learned that
the Veneer bic Cannon had returned from Mug
vile, they swarmed al ound bis carriage, and en-
treated him either to spit upon them or save them
from SLOW decay 10y speech. 1t was then the
Venerable man raised his hand in soothing bene-
dicton, and says he:
"My friends, you are young yet, and have
much to learn concerning war. can only say
t. you, my friends that all goes we'll with MIR.
Mcclellan; and, il YOU will only hasten to fill up
old regiments, raise few thousand new ones, and
90 yourselves the advance upon Richmond may
commence in our time"
The most enthusiastic cheering followed this
orti nE,k IL,
and six ecstAtic chaps Immediately offered to vol
unteer as Major Generals.
Shall We presume to talk OF drafting, my Soy,
when there is such readiness on the part of the
people 10 lead the troops2 think not, my boy,
| think not. Let the dra. be protested.
On Wednesday again took a trip to Paris, &C
found upon reaching that city that the Mackerel
Brigade had built itself theatre, after the man
ner of Drury Lane, and was about to partake of
the rich intellectual drama This chaste temple
might possibly be taken for COW shed, my boy,
by those who are not conversant with architecture
in one story.
Ioe curtain having been taken down by gen
tleman who had forgotten to wash himself when
the wash stand went round last time, the play
|
THE UNION AS 1T wAs--A HIGHLY MORAL DRAMA
IN ONE ACK--BY CAPT. WILLIAM BROWN, 9EsKE-
WIRE
The plot of this admirable work is very simple
my boy, and appeals to those sentiments Of the
human heart which affect the liver. The scene is
laid in Washington, where it has frequently been
seen, and ,he drama opens with fine
CONSERVATIVE CHORUS.
Abram, spare the Souta,
Touch not single slave,
Nor cen by word of mouth
Disturb the thing wo crave.
Twas our forefathers' hand
That slavery begot;
There, Abram, let it stand,
Thine Acts shall harm it not.
A, the Conclusion Of this spirited National An.
them, the Border State chaps who have been sing
ing 1t are invited to have another interview with
the rfesident, who has only seen them twice tie
same morning As they pass out, the celebrated
Miss Columbia appears wrapt in deep thought
and the American flag, and reading the twenty
third proclamation for the current month. She
asks her heart il she is indeed divorced-f her
once happy Union is indeed broken and as her
heart refuses to answer any such common ques.
ton, doubt is allowed TO remain in the bosom
Of the spectator. In deep agony she kneels al
the Monument of Washington and softly sings
" Hail Columbia, while the Southern Coniederacy
who has just arrived, proceeds to plant batteries
all around her, assisted in the work by reliable
contraband'. After moments spent il
prayer for the repose OF Secretary Welles, Colum
bia discovers her surroundings and is about ,c
maxi faint, when the spirit of Napoleon appear,
and tells her that she has nothing to fear, as he il