The Weekly Perrysburg journal. [volume] (Perrysburg, O. [Ohio]) 1861-1???, 1862-08-27

ent at the recent series of triumphs by the
Mackerel Brigade, ON the left shore of Duck
Lake, and witnessed succession of feats
calculated to culminate either irthe fall of
Richmond or the fall of the year
From the headquarters in the city OF Paris
to the brink of Duck Lake. the Mackerels
were drawn up in gorgeous line of battle,
their bayonets resembling somewhat an I'M
combed head of steel hair, and their noses
looking like wavy strip of summer sun
set. BY their last great strategcal manoe-
ver they had lured the Southern Confeder-
acy to court its own destruction by hanking
them at both ends of the line, and they were
only waiting for the master mind to give
them the signal.
Samyule Sa-mth advanced from his place
in the staff as rode up. and says he:
Comrades, the general depends on yod
to precede him to glory. We had hoped
says Samyule, feelngly, "to have the COM
pany of two French counts in this days
slaughter; but these two noble generals had
not time to wait, as they desired TO visit the
Great Exhibition in London
These remarks were well received. my
boy; and when the order was given for Com.
pany 3, Regiment 5, to dctour to the left, it
would have been promptly obeyed but tor
an incident. Just as Captain William Brown
was about to break line for the purpose, an
aged chap came dashins down from First
Family country seat near by and says he
to the General of the Macke-e Brigade:
Il demand guard for my premises i'm
mediately. My wife, says he, with digni-
ty, has just been making n custard-pie tor
the sick Confederutes in the hospital, and
as she has Just set it out to cool near where
my little boy shot one of your vandals this
L : 1 - I [. 4.
your thicving mudsills when they come ai-
ter the body. |, therefore, demand guard
for my premises in the name OF. the Consti-
tuition of our forefathers.'
Here Captain Bob Shorty stepped for
ward, and says he:
What does the Constitution say about
custard-pie, Mr.. Davis?'
The aged chap spat at him, and says he:
Il claim protection under that clause
which refers to the persuit of happiness,
Custard-pies," says he, reasoningly, "are iu-
cluded in the pursuit of happiness"
That's very true" said the general, look
ing kindly over his fan at the venerable pc
titioner "Let guard be detailed to pro-
tect this good old mans premises. We are
fighting for the Constitution, not against it.
A gnard was detailed, my boy, with
orders to make no resistance if they were
fired upon occasionally from the windows
of the house; and then Captain William
/ Brown pushed forward with what was left
of Company 3, to engage the Confedcracy
on the edge of Duck Lake supported by the
| Orange County Howitzers. Headed by the
band, who played patriotic airs, as soon as
! he could shake the crumbs out of his key
bugle, the cavalcade advanced to the lake
and opened heavy salute of round shot
and musketry on the atmosphere, whilst
Commodore Head kept up hot fire on the
horizon with his iron plated feet and
! swivel gun.
Only waiting to finish game of base
ball in which they had been engaged, four
regiments of COnfed9racies, at whom this
deadly assault was directed, threw aside
their hats and ball dresses, put on their
uniforms, loaded their muskets and batter
| les, and sent an iron shower in all direc-
| tons. Greatly demoralized by this un-
seemly occurance, file of Mackerels under
Sergeant O'Pake Immediately threw down
! their muskets and knapsacks, emptied their
pockets upon the ground, piled their neck
ties in a heap, and were making rapid
retrogade movement when William sudden
ly threw himself in their peth, and says he;
! where are you going to, my fearless Gag
/ lcts?"
Hem" says the sergeant, with much
| French in his manner, I'VE thought of visit
| ing the great exhibition in London"
! "Ah ~ says William, understandings You
/ have acquired French in one easy lesson
and"
Here an orderly rode up with an order
! for the Mackerels to fall back from the edge
of the make Immediately, leaving their artil
| lery. bayonets, haveIocks and baggage be
hind them; and William was obliged to con
| duct the movement, which was a part OF
the great strategical scheme of the general OF
the Mackerel Brigade As we retreated bach
into Paris, my boy, we were joined by the
! Comic Section, and shortly after by the anat
omical Cavalry, both of which had succeeded
! in leaving all their accoutrements on the
! field.
AS we all rushed together before head
! quarters i'll perfect order, and while the Con
federacy was eating some provisions which
we had refrained from bringing off the late
scene of conflict, the general of the Mackere
Brigade came home from under tree where
he had been tanning himself, and says he:
"My coildren' we have whipped them al
all points, and the day is ours"
All" says William abBtraCtodB, "the day
is hours"
My children" says tic General in contin
uation, 1--WE have pushed enemy to the wal
without tracturing the Constitution, anC
have only put the war back six months. We
can with pride, my children, say that we be
long TO the Army of Duck Lake. and shal
have no more Bull Runs. My children
love you. Accept my blessing"
Wewere rejecting upon this soul-stirring
speech, my boys, and silently admiring tht
strategy which has brought us all together
again so soon, when the sound Of drum anC
fife called our attention 10 club of politica
chaps who he'd just arrived by steamer from
the Sixth Ward, and were filing past us t
a platform recetly erected in the very center
of Paris.
81 do believe" says Captain Bob Shorty
whisperingly, Il do believe we're going t,
have mass meeting"
Onward went the political chaps to tn
platform.
\ delegation mounted the steps, advanc
ed TO the front rails, and commenced uufurl
ed vast linen banner. the sun was Just set
. ting, my boys, and as his parting beams fel
upon the upliited faces of tho polisica
chaps, soft breeze unr0lled the standaI
and the Mackerels read upon its folds
REGCLAR CONSERVATIVE NOMINATION.
/. FOR
PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
IN 1868,
THE GENERAL OF THE MACEREL BRIGADE.
Shall it be saib, after this, that republic
are ungrateful? | think not, my boy
think not We have won great and glor
GUS victory and the only remaining queS
f ton to be answered is, Who is responsible