Pomeroy weekly telegraph. [volume] (Pomeroy, Meigs County, Ohio) 1860-1866, 1862-03-28
dait aud ddlisdom.

D@Contraetors may not want to stab
to the vitals of the Republic, but they
keep jobbing at it.
@A Lancaster pa paper says that
the ex-President, Old Buck, saws his
own wood. Hemust be an old sd'c- buck.
h~Some author tells us much is said
about the tongue. True, the thing is
in everybody's mouth.
Rebel Conunaruin.
Why did Gen. Floyd fail to win glory
ut the fall of Donelson? Because OF
his retiring disposition.
Dg- The following question is sug-
gested to the debating societies:
(which is the happiest, negro at a
dance or hog in mud hole?'
B%A young lady studying French
and finding that "belle'' meant Zine,
told somebody in letter that We hat
u great deal of belle weather lately.
p9It is said that the most fiery Of
the secessionists of Nashville are gnash-
ing their teeth feroeiously. We sug-
eest that the name of tho town be writ
ten Guashyille.
B@Punch's Almanac advises the
farmers to sow their Ps, keep their Us
warm, hive their Bs, shoot their is, feed
their Ms, look after their potatoes Is
and take their Es.
e. Dr"Father, has dog got wings2"
mo, my son."
"Well, ] thought so-but mother told
me, the other day, that as she was going
along the road, deg fero at her,
@A chap writing from Denver,
says: zssOn the 9th of june, Cherry
Greek had volume of water sufficient
10 run grist mill, and ten days after
wards, it was as dry asa doctrinal SER
mon"
N@ Two men, conyersing about the
illhumor of their wives. "Ah, said
oneS with sorrowful expression,
1.snine is~Tartar!'' SWELL" replied the
other, smine is worse than all that
mime is the Cream of Tartar"
D0 A wag says that in journeyine
lately he was put into an omnibus with
a dozen persons, of whom ho did moi
know single one. Turning o corner
shortly after, however, the omnibus was
upset; .iand then," said he, II found
them all out"
sG- A Glasgow antiquarian recently
visited Cathcart Castle, and asked one
ofthe villagers "If he knew anything
of an old story about the building?
"Aye,' said the rustic, t'there was an
ither auld story, but it fell down lang
s9ne."
D@A man with modest appetite
dined ct hotel. After eating the whole
of sucking pig, he was asked if he wo uld
have some pudding. He said he didn'i
care much about pudding, but if they
had another little hog, he would be
thankful f0rit.
s~"There's a woman at the bottom
of every mischief" said Joe. "Yes re-
piled Charley" "mhen 1 used TO get into
mischief, my mother was at the bot
tom of me-" From this, one may rea-
sonably infer, that the old lady went
to the foundation Of the matter.
s~A Canada paper says that one OF
their officers ON hearing that the militia
we're to be called eas, sent his commits
sion to his Lieut.. Colonel, indcrsed as
follows: "dear Curnsl, beg to resine
ing commishen. Being disciple Of
Krist, cannot take up the sord."
Good Advice.
An exchange remarks, patheticaify
@Have you sister? Then love and
cherish her with holy friendship
This is ala proper enough; but then in
case You haven't got any sister OF your
own, take soaae other fellows sister and
love her. The effect is just as good
and sometimes better.
p~A fdgetty lady was once consuitt
ing DR.. Abernethy, the famous EngsisA
physician. She asked him what she
should eat--1hether this, that, or the
other would injure her.
"You may eat anything" said the
doctor, "except the poker and the bel
lows, for the one is hard Of digestion,
aud the other is supposed to be windy!'
CaderstanAs HerselE
A good joke, says the Syracuse Stand
ard, is related of Miss Ga laughter
loving, goOd-natured lass, who was
spending the afternoon with neighbor,
and during supper, the conversation
turned on hens, eggs, &c. During which
Miss G., observed "that their hens did
not lay scarcely any eggs, and she could
not tell the reason" "Why," observed
Mr.. p, "my hens lay very well, 1 goout
among them almost every day, and get
eggs" "My graciousl" was the instant
rejoinder, 81 wish you would come over
and run with our hens, spell, I'm sure
father would pay you we'll for your
trouble" She'll do.