Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1862-03-11
UNIFORMED CIVILIANS,


Every one has read the fable IF the dom
key WIN dressed himself in LIONS skin.
and forthwith proceeded 10 frighten the
denizens of the forest by personatiug the
king of beasts" an experiment in which
he succeeded admiral ly at first, and TO his
entire satisfaction. TO make the illusion
perfect, he ventured to initiate the lions
roar. by performing a series of superasinine
brays, which exposed the deception, and
made the deceiver not only laughing
stock, but also the recipient of hard kicks
and bites. having the lions skin stripped
frcn his carcase and considerable portion
of his own hide torn from his back
The fate ct the long cared individual
might well serve as q warning and an ex-
ample to those very etfemiuate and unwar-
like Individuals who Eay he seen promen-
aiding the fashionable resorts Of cities on
fine afternoon, anl admired Of themselves
and a few SIM letunS who are toe blind to
see that the mere covering Of a manly fJrr
and the insignia Of noble service are the
only thing about them worthy Of notice
Such i are int0erGlie nuisaners, on
account Of their confused t1tble Of rcgi-
ments, batteries and engagements-their
self.Cctc'it strut and Ill bred stare in the
street, and their imperi"Gs and inyUdeut
manners in society. In fact, those who
were at first deceived by their uniform have
discovered that tho supposed lions who 50
awed them are Cniy baman developments
Of assinty, aoi in several instances have
torn IF The lions skin, and exposed the Vu!-
gar nnima TO public {, nsem;t
Edward Judkirs felt that ie lad the
S ul of hero. lie had read Of battles, If
desperate charges up TO the caGnin mouth,
OF 'orl rn hJi os, Of daring deeds uf val 7
ana al Il c numerous coRc1mi.a Is which
Ell vate gar in the youthful mind and
cause the hero Of the battle field to appear
as detni god Aouug Julkins bad sighed
in VaIn 70: the days which tried men to
return ard often he felt bis fate 40 intel
era ly bard one, in that he was not born
time enough for him to participate in the
driving out Of the invader from his ra;iye
shores, and the writing Of his name at the
top OF the Tag5 II; the hnuk Of fame which
recorded the heroes Of lIIG.
Stupid times, now Il days" he would
say. IN one can 90 ANYTHING Old fuges
like the 'giTice time Of peace Peace be
blamed FIT bat far c,wards. GIVE me u
trusfy blade and hundred Euglshmen to
opp 81 ne, aHd | would cut my way to
fame aud fortune as a man ard her,
Bah! What's the use Everything IS
stupid AMI slow ia these days -
So he would rave, until his young con-
panions actually though; he was an Gun
bryo Alexander or sucking b Jnapirte -
Acc riingiy, when the trumpet of war re-
echoed through the length and breadth cf
the land, and meu The most peaceful and
unwarlikc buckIed on their armer, to fight
in the ranks of the army Of Liberty, it was
quite natural that all his acquAintanceS
should expect the the martial spirit OF Ed
ward Jasper Judkins to rush 10 the conflict
with eager desire to fash his maiden sword,
and, if need he, shed the last drop C. his
blood for the Reput lie.
But Judkins confined his martial pro-
clivities to enjoying the sight Of the regi-
tneurs leaving for the seat Of war. The
Drawing trumpet and ear piercing fife had
charms for him the farewell Of friends
and lovers excited his sympathies, and the
gay uniforms and shining accoutrements
fred his imagination. lie annoyed his
friends with constant inquiries as to the
time of their departure for the field Of
strife but he did not write his name on the
muster roll of any regiment. He did what
he considered far better, however; he bought
a gray uniform, comprising a coat with the
shoulder straps Of lieutenant, a cap with
the letters ~. S." placed conspicuously
on the front, pants of the usual stripe, and
a sword Of shape and hilt which the army
regulate ms designate as suited to the rank
of brigadier general.
Thus equipped and ACQUIRED on the day
he acquired the lions skin, this tailor fash
toned hero was eager for the Promenade
With arms kindly, false moustache on
his upper lip, cigar in his mouth, his
brows contracted to the conventional frown
of regular fire eater, he stood before bis
mirror, posing, attitudining, smiling aud
frownjng alternately, with the perseverance
Of cCquette. He even attempted mill
tary oath, but his lisping accents were lu-
dicrous, even to himself and as be intend
ed only to preform for the approval Of the
ladies, he soon became aware Of the use
lessuess Of his attempt at such manly ex-
pletives.
At last, satisfied with his personal ap-
2earance, he sailed from the parental resi-
dence in haste, for there was lady cousin
who was in the habit of using all those
annoying familiarites that relationship
warrants. visiting the house, and he knew
full we'll that he would be mos, unmerciful-
lv quizzed and laughed ut if his relative
discovered his attempt at deception.
But 1.-THE more hurry, the less speed. -
Edward Jasper could wear the coat, the
shoulder straps, the pantalocns and the cap
very well, for to these articles of attire he
was infatuated but the sword, that he had
not proved himself capable of wearing,
even as an article of dress; and as he de-
scended the steps of his domicil. he found
that, like the pigs, he carried tail behind
him, which, if ornamental. was not at all
convenient. for his weapon OF defence got
between his legs in manner which caused
his spindle shanks 10 grow shaky at the
knees, 80 that he found he was among the
fallen, and not in bloodless field, either,
as bright red stream from bis muse ard
lips testified.
Greet fallen, but not discouraged, our