The weekly mountain Democrat. [volume] (Placerville, El Dorado County, Calif.) 1861-1862, 1862-08-16
The Federal Tax Bill.

There is good deal of humor in the
following satire upon the Federal Tax Bill :;
and it is at least as readable as the bill it.
self. Were the suggestions carried out,
it would unquestionably swell the rove
nue.:
Snuff boxes are to pay a tax Of 81 per
year.
For every pinch of snuff given to a
friend, 3 cents.
For asking friend to drink, 25 cents.
For playing billiards, 25 cents.
License to kill woodcock, IS per year.
Tax on moustaches, 81 per month.
On whiskcrS, others than those belong
Ing to cats and dogs, 80 per month.
For blowing the nose in the streets, IS
ccutS in county roads, 80 cents.
License to shoot rabbits, one dollar.
To shoot marbles, one dollar. If ''Chi-
na-alIeys" are used in the game, further
, tax of forty cents. ------''----
To play euchrc, one dollar and a-half
If the two bowers are held, further tax
Of fifty cents
llurdygurdies are to pay tax of one
dollar tune. Mocking birds, seventy
\ lANC NSAttSs --HF--a~--
To sneeze in the public highway fifteen
cents. If accompanied with unusual noise,
twenty-five cents.
License to peddle tire-wood, two dollars
ptr month.
License to beg cold victuals, one dollar
and a.halE
License to gather bones, two dollars.
Every person taking an affidavit shall
be assessed twenty-five cents.
Ordinary cursing and swearing, twenty
five cents an oath-to be measured by a
curseometer, to be furnished by the Sec
rotary of the Treasury.
For reading the number of the Knick.
fft9cfer containing my articles, twenty.
! five collars.
For not hearing II. Ward Beecher once
Il month, twenty-five cents.
For "all round" dances, twenty. .Gve
cents pop.
! For every button on trcQe., tnree cents.
FOR carrying cane, enc dollar.
+ fUr quzzing glasses, one dollar.
For using expressly prepared muciage,
two cents pop. ~
For using pens, one dollar per annum
For using pencils, one dollar per an
mum.
On each key in use, six cents.
Bouquets of loworS; six cents.
For kissing anybody except relatives,
twenty-five cents each time. n. B.-En-
gagged couples may commute" for ten
dollars a month.
For ringing door bells or Knockers one
cent.
For not using scraper or door mat one
dollar. ------
For looking at lady. one dollar.
For shaking hands with lady, twenty
! five cents.
For squeezing lady's hand, one dollar.
For not squeezing hands when circum-
stances favor, ten dollars.
For quoting French, twenty-five cents.
For saying sin our midst" or spend
ing" or donate" or proven" one
dollar.
For writing ones maine as Polite, Marie,
Salie, Maggie, or Judie. one dollar.
For joining the Curb Stone Christian
Association, and waiting at the door to
see the ladies come out" ten dollars.
For chawing spruce gum, one cent.
For keeping a register of who's en-
gagged" one dollar per annum. 49,.
For noticing with whom any or every
body walks, where they go, ETC., for each
indulgence, fifty dollars.
For recording anything not strictly
your own business, Fifty dollars.
For responding in church, ten dollars.
For talking at the opera, ten dollara
For calling for enchors, two hundred
dollars. -..se,
For asking friends to take tickets to
anything, one hundred dollars. 49,.
For reading your own literary compos
sition to any one, one dollar. B,
For doing same TO an editor, or Offering
to do it, one thousand dollars. -
-- For borrowing zuyrhtpgs ONE d0i'aFs -