Juliet signal., 1862-01-07
Every well, am Mrs. Meeks." she re-

Piled
Pardon me, madam" said Nat. with n
doubling shake of the head ..but this ia
matter of some eimportance-the pavment
OF money; and you are not the iady that
MIR. Meeks introduced to me as his wife
last winter"
Mot the lady? what !" shrieked she /;
do you mean to tell me that"
Il simply tell you, madam" replied Nat
with icy imperturbability, THAT Mr.. Meeks
last winter, in Broadway, near Leonard
Street, introduced me to lady whom he
called Mrs. Meeks, and you are not the
lady"
| "Indeed !" exclaimed Mrs. Meeks. her
eyes flashing fire +; chow old was she p
"Well, about twenty-five"
Twenty-Five and how was she dress,
ed?"
''She wore her hair in ringlets, had dia-
mong ear rings"
Diamond ear rings!"
"a very heavy silk velvet dress, very
large gold bracelets, magnificent watch
and chain"
"Well, go on" she said sritefully.
'Silk velvet hat, trimmed with maenif-
cent lace. and muff and boa"
bon " wrenched out the now thorough
! ly irate dame "you had better bore your
! way out Of this house, sir, mighty quick,
or else somebody will have headache =
/ No, sir, | am not Mrs Meeks, and want
| you to leave"
"Oh, certainly" said Nat who saw the
tallest kind of squall brewing, and who
had good reason to fear that the sturdy
dame might launch at his head conch
shell or some other of the heavy ornaments
which adorned the mantel. Nat, therefore,
beat retreat from off the premises, and
placed hiniself behind q stone fence, from
which be could command a view of the
Brooklyn turnpike. He die not wait long
before he saw the amiable Gale driving
down the road all unconscious of the am
bush of Nat. The expression upon Gales
face was one of the greatest amiability.
and exempli6ed that he was at peace with
''all the world ard the rest of mankind"
In brief space of time Gales steed was
given into the charge of stable boy. and
unconscious and happy, he entered his
domicil and shut the door The moment
he entered an attentive ear might have de
teeted the sounds of voice ic no way
mellow or expressive of endearment; and
in an instant after Gale hurriedly came
through the door, with amazement on his
face and mop in his rear, the wrong end
| of which was under the direct and personal
superintendence Of lady who was very
red in the face and very sturdy in the
arms, and who strongly resembled Mrs
Meeks.
The battle had commenced in the pas
sage way. Gales caster, which had shone
in the rays of the setting SUI, as he drove
down the road, was very much bruised and
out of shape indeed, it was driven down
over his amiatle physiognomy.
! What in the thunder is out?' yelled
Gale.
Twenty five years DID," shrieked the
infurated dame, and bang. Gale caught the
mop over his shoulders. "Corkscrew ring
lets, and punk he got it in the back, with
all the strength which nature and anger
had given to the enraged lady.
BLAINE it. don't do that!'
But it WAS no use, be had tc take it.
diamond earrings p punk. SILK
velvet dress" bang. Gold bracelets, u
/ whump.
Murder" roared Gale
Watch und chain," she shrieked and
bIff he took it over the head
"Muf," bank, slump. Boa" bang
bung, and-down went Gale with a yell OF
murder.
Now fell the blows thick and fast upon
| the bruised head, back and face of the
PROSTATE jnker; while the lady again re-
| hearsed the catalogue of the wearing ap-
| parel and Jewels of the other Mrs. Meeks
tim ng the utterance of the name of each
article with a blow upon her PROSTATE
! writhing and bleeding lord.
But all things must have an end. The
violent exercise of the arms and lungs, in
which Mrs. Meeks had INDUCED, had
| somewhat exhausted her. She had thrice
run through Mats imaginary catalogue,
aud. feeling her strength departing. gath
cred herself for one grand and final effort
Gale looked with horror upon the upraised
! mop /: he heard the words, oh, the huzzy,
shouted in a vigorous tone; he heard a
hustling. whizzing sound in the air, and
the next instant the poor felllw's nose was
as fiat as the other parts Of his face. His
| two tormentors retreated into the mansion
and left him alone in his gore. Slowly,
and with the mcst keen sensation Of pain,
| he raised bimself into sitting posture,
! and with many groan Of agony, he pro
ceeded to Inspect his personal condi,i n
This arms broke, certain! Oh /! and
this left shoulder must he dislocated i
Good Lord, what a nose shan'S be able
to go about for q month ! Oh, Lord, how
sore | am p'
Now, Nat, with the most pleasurable
| emotions, had through the crevice of the
fence, observed the whole Of the little fam
lily jar which | have so freely described
and he now stood looking over the fence al
the back of his dear friend.
II say. Uncle Cale," shouted Nat.
Hey % said Gale, as he turned in some
little astonishment to look upon his former
victim.
II say. Gale" continued Not, chow dc
you feel about now ?"
.'Oh you -" Il shall leave i
blank yelled the enraged Gale, as ht
sprang to his feet and made for the house
"I'n fix your fint!"
But, Nat didn't want the Stint fixed, ant
therefore made his way with all celebrity
up the road.
Soon after there appeared upon thu
green sward, rendered sangninary and sa
cred by coDjugal endearments, lame man
who wore shocking bad hat, and whc
had taken possession of fowling piect
loaded with tuckshot. IF the lame indi-
viduaI meant to shoot Nat he reckoneC
without his host. That worthy, therks t,
long and thin pair of legs, was out o
gunshot range
Gale from that time forth and until b,
filled the grave which he now occupies 81
well, eschewed dry joking, and was alway
sensitive on the subject of mops.
SALT AS ToorH PowDER.-If, while ex
4