Litchfield enquirer., 1862-02-27
THE DEACON PROMOTED.


 sThis was the way of it. You see, 'Olt giving, for shooting 'match-more common . few years ago than now-about six or sever miles from here, off on the Cheshire road. The. had but one gun between them and they agreed to use it "jintly," as Capt. Cutie would say EWell, they got to the place where the shooting match was to come off, and had few shots eacl I without any return for the money expended I either because the chickens were too far of, o l the cider brandy they had imbibed prevented their getting good sight at the game. The. were determined to have some poultry fo Thanksgiving, some way or other, either by tai means or foul, even if they had to blaze away d tenants of some of the numerous farm yards the. passed though that was dangerous, and nigh be expensive business. After once more re freshing themselves, bright idea presented it self to the mind of Old Lynes, whereu1pon ht said to his companion :>" Sid. 1 have il!
 Sid was little startled by the abrupt remark but he was courageous enough to ask: Where is it?'
 Where never you mind, Sid you know ole Deacon Hoiley keeps tavern, about two miles here. Let's go and try some of his poultry Now, the reason old Holley was called dea | con- was because he mixed so many hard words l l-sometimes called profane-in his every day speech, that his neighbors and the frequenters | of his tavern declared him entitled to the ap- pellation. Sid agreed to the proposal of his friend, and after arranging who should carry the gun, and who the ammunition and provisions 1 (the latter mostly in wooden bottle, common in those days,) they started for the 'deacon,s. They were jolly companions at all times, but the frequent tipping of the wooden bottle made them more jolly than usual, and when they got to the l fo1t t6axh hoI hoof, rn ing up hill all the way but Lines had not dis disclosed hissproject to Sid, and Sid was not disposed to ask any more questions than was necessary, in their present state of fatigue. Fi naly just before they reached the house, Lines says :. Sid, load your gun, and load her we'll? Sid obeyed orders, and put in good charge of powder, and a handful of buckshot, and an- nounced himself all ready
 Now, let me load her. says Lines.
 What for?' says Sid, I tell you she's already loaded.'
 Sid handed him the gun, and he put in about the same quantity of powder and shot.
 Now. Sid, mind you, when we get to the dea- cons, you ask him how much he will charge you for shot at his flock of poultry, and let you have all you kill. I know the old cuss he thinks more of his chickens and turkeys than he does of the rest of his family, and of course he
 
 got any game to, day, and we must have some for Thanksgiving If he refuses to let you fire, we will go into the bar-room, and have little red eye,' and I'll manage him. You stand your gun up in the corner, carelessly, and after i've. have had our swig' you go out into the yard for an observation
 Sid could not appreciate the joke that he knew was to come, although he felt it was com ing, for old Lines seldom failed.
 'The deacon met them at the door, not very common occurrence for him at that time of the day, and cordially greeted them.
 A drink all around made them congenial, when Sid commenced his negotiations, as in structed by his superior, and finally offered the deacon three shillings for a shot at his poultry The deacon felt indignant he would not have his poultry fired at for twenty-five dol lars and he would shoot any man that would do it. Those chickens and those turkeys he was fattipg. for Christmas, and he would not have one of them before that time for any amount of money. .....
 During the conversation, Sid stood his gun up carelessly in one corner, walked to the bar, emptied his glass, and suddenly walked out the door. Lines saw him go, and intimated to the deacon that the last few drops in that glass were too much for Sid, and he would play trick up on him.
 Pointing to the gun, he said to his host :- 'Deacon see here, I'll draw the charge out of that ere gun, and when he comes in you make a bargain with him for shot, that's all.'
 All right, old fellow give us your hand, says the deacon.
 A joke is joke says Lines
 True, that's so, you're right there, replied the deacon and Lines went to work and withdrew a heavy charge of buck-shot and powder from Sids gun, and set it back in the corner, in the same position as he found it, at the same time giving significant nod to the deacon, as much as to echo his 'all right The host treated Lines on the strength of the joke, and he had but just emptied his glass as Sid came in, who, aware that Lines was one ahead of him on the drinks, took ap his gun, as if about to leave, when the deacon called out to him " say friend, what did you say you would give for a shot at them fowls out there?'
 Well, if you will get them all together up in the corner, and let me have what kill the first time, I'll give you three shillings; my gun is loaded, and I'd like a chance at 'em.'
 I'll tell you what 'tis, friend, you may pull your trigger on em once, and once only, for three shilllngs, and have what you kill; but if you miss 'em you must pay me dollar, and only allow it just for the fun of the thing
 'Done,' says Sid, that's all want to do it for, But you must shoo' 'em up in the corner where can have fair sight at lem.
 So the deacon and Old Lines went out in the yard, and drove the chickens and turkeys up in the corner of the yard, and Sid primed his gun. 1t had an old flint lock, made before percussion locks were so common, but he was not long at it, however, and stepping out the door, rested his piece across a railfence for better aim. As soon as the word was given, and he could steady himself, he pulled the trigger fz-z, it went, and bang' Sid, either from the recoil of the gun, or from over excitement, lay sprawling on the ground, nine chickens and two turkeys were sacrificed, and a general scattering took place among the flock. Old Lines expressed in en- phatic words, his astonishment, and the deacon swore terribly; and when he accused Lines of trickery, his only reply was 1: You saw me draw the charge, and how the al did I know there was another charge in the cussed old gunv
 As soon as Sid recovered his equilibrium, he picked up as much of the game as he and Lines could carry, and invited the host to drink from the wooden bottle, requesting him to treat his next guests to Thanksgiving dinner from the poultry left behind.
 The deacon's expressions, in relation to the affair, were so far from chaste or polite, that from that time his appellation among his acquaintan- ces was changed from deacon to 'parson' by which title he is known by all the frequenters of Henroost Tavern
 The above is given, be it observed, solely on the grounds of morality" Don't cheat lest ye be cheated. There's the rub.' And further the deponent sayeth not
 8Ss2 2 s,r A BAD STELLA fellow ran aboard a steam. -Eg.+r ta f