Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1862-04-12
MOrtester @aiIp SPY.
ANOTHER LETTERFRom oRpHEUs c. KERR.
DuIIness mt WaShIngtOn-Strateg by the
General of the MackereI Brigade.


Correspondence of the New York Sunday Mercury
The good society here, my boy, which con-
sists principally Of N. P. Willis, is in deep
affection at the departure OF so many shout
der straps from Manassas, and will go into a
hasty decline ii few foreign counts do not
arrive by next steamer Private letters from
Europe say that the barber shop business on
the continent is too good this season to permit
many distinguished dukes to visit America
now. though the fact that few of the French
nobility have recently discharged their coach
men may lead us to hope for few Orleans
counts during the summer.
The most interesting natural curiosity here
next to secretary Weiss beard, is the office of
the secretary of the interior. Covered with
spider webs, and clothed in the dust of ages,
my boy, sit the secretary and his clerks, like
so many respectable mummes in neglected
pyramid. The department of the interior, my
boy, is in humorous condition the sales of
public lands for the past year amount 10 about
ten shillings, the only buyer being a conserva-
tive DutChman from New Jersey, who hasn't
heard about the war yet.
These things weigh upon my spirit and l
was glad to order up my gothic stallion, Pc
gasus, the other day, and rattle down to Man
Assas once more.
Upon reaching that celebrated field of Mars,
my boy, found the general of the Mackerel
Brigade in his tent, surrounded by telegraph
ic instruments and railroad maps while the
comic section was drawn up in line outside.
"You appear to be much absorbed, my ven
cradle Spartan, says | to the general, as l
haudled the diaphanous vessel he was using
as an act drop in the theatre of war.
The general trowned like an obdurate pa
rent refusing to let his only daughter marry a
coal-heaver, and says he
"Im absorbed in strategy. Eighteen months
ago | was intOr.ned b. a contraband that sixty
thousand unnatural rebels were entrenched
somewhere near here, and having returned
the conraband to his master TO be immediate
ly shot, resolved to overwheIm the rebels by
strategy. Thunder!" says the general, per-
spring like pitcher of ice water in June, eff
there's anything equal to diplomacy it's STRAIT
egg. And now" says the general, starnly,
cts my duty to order you to write nothing
about this to the papers. You write about my
movements; the papers publish it, and are
sent here my adjutant takes the papers to
the rebels, and SO Jou my plans are all
known. | have no choice but to suppress
you"
But" says 1, "you might more surely
keep the news from the rebels by arresting the
adjutant"
Thunder" says the general, II never
thought OF that before"
Great men, my boy, are never great but
that they can profit occasionally by a sugges-
L
knew a very great man who went home in
shower, and was mortified at discovering that
he could not get his umbrella through the front
door. He was very great man, understood
Sanscrit, made speeches that nobody could
comprehend, and had relatives in Beacon
street, Boston. There he stood in the rain,
my boy, pushing his umbrella this way and
that way, turning it endways and sideways,
holding it at acute angles and obtuse angles
but still it wouldn't go through the door
anything like it, BY and.by there came along
chap Of humble attainments, who sung out
whats the matter, old three andsiX.
pence 2"
The great man turned pantingly round, and
says he
"Ah, my friend, cannot get my umbrella
into the house. I've been trying for hall an
s hour to wedge it through the door, but can't
get 1t through, and know not how to act"
The humble chap stood under the gas light,
my boy, and by the CLEANS thereof his mouth
was seen to pucker loaierishly.
"Iev you tried the experiment Of shutting
up that air umbrella 2" says he.
The great man gave a start, and says he,
"Per Jovem didn't think to do that"
Aud he shut his umbre la and went in peace.
fully:
The Comic Section was to make its great
strategic movement, my boy, under Captain
Bob Shorty, and, led by that fearless warrior,
heroes according to Hardee, for about an hour
and then they reached queer looking little
house with great deal of piazza and very
little ground floor With his cap cooked very
much over one eye, Captain Bob Shorty
knocked at the door, and was answered by
young maiden of about forty two.
Hast seen any troops pass here of late 2"
asked Captain Bob Shorty with much dignity.
The southern maiden, who a fist tami-
/ lV. shifted inQipnantlV and saws she
81 reckon nor, poor hireling HeSsan."
"FOrward-double quick-march ~ says
Captain Bob Shorty, with much vehemence;
"that ere young woman has been eating on,
ions"
Onward, right onward through the dark.
ness, went the Comic Section OF the Mackerel
Brigade, eager to engage the rebel foe and
work out the genius of strategy Half an
hour, and another house was reached. In
response to the captains knock son of chiv-
airy stuck his head out OF window, and says
he -
"There's nobody at home"
"Peace, ignoramus - says Captain Bob
Shorty, majestcally; 'the United States of
America wishes to know if you have seen any
troops go by to night?"
Eyes" says the chivary, "my sister saw
company go by just now, reckon"
'FOrward-double quick-march!" says
Captain Bob Shorty, eve cen catch the con-
Ieueracy awe II we re quick enough.
And now, my boy, the march was resumed
with new vigor for it was certain that the
4 enemy was right in 'front.' and might be strae.
MI gicay annihiated. A long time passed, how
N ever, without the discovery of a SOUL and it
y was after midnight when the next house was
gained
4 q A small black contraband came to the door,
and says he
"By CORY, masr sogerum what you hab 2"
"Tell me, young Chusty's minstrel" says
Captain Bob Shorty, "have any troops passed
here to night?"
The contraband turned a summerset, and,
says he:-
"Masr an misses hab seen two companies
dis berry night, so helpum God"
Forward - double-quick - march !" says
Captain Bob Shorty 1.-TWO companies is
rather heavy for this band OF Spartans, but it
il sweet TO die for ones country"
The march went on, my boy, until we got
to the next house where the inmates refused
to appear, but shouted that they had seen three
companies go past AT this Captain Bob
Short was heard to scratch his head in the
darkness, and saws he -
"This here Strategy is good thing at de-
cent odds bat when its three to one, its more
respectable to have all quiet on the Potomac.
Halt, fellow victims, and let US wait here un-
ill the 2aily sun is issued by the divine edi