Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1862-03-08
"Well, about twenty-fve.''
'Twenty-five; and how was she

"Well, about twenty-five"
TWENTY-FIVE; and how was she
dressed %
"She wore her hair in ringlets, had
diamond ear rings"
Diamond ear rings -
"A very heavy silk velvet dress, ve-
ry large gold bracelets, magnificent
watch and chain.''
"Well, 60 on" she said spitefully.
"Silk velvet hat, trimmed with mag
nifcent lace, and a muff and boa."
"Boa % wrenched out the now thor
oughly irate dame "you had better
bear your way out of this house, sir,
mighty quick or else somebody will
have a headache! No, sir, l am not
Mrs. Meeks, and l want you to leave" :"
ooh, certainly" said Nat, who saw
the tallest kind of squall brewing,
and who had good reason to fear that
the sturdy dame might launch at his
head a conch shell or some other Of the
heavy ornaments which adorned the
mantel. Nat, therefore, beat a retreat
from off the premises, and placed him.
self behind stone fence, from which
he could command view ofthe Brook
lyn turnpike. He did not wait long be-
fore he saw the amiable Gale driving
down the road, all unconscious of the
ambush of Nat. The expression upon
Gales face was one of the greatest
amiability and exemplifed that he was
sat peace with all the world and the
rest of mankind"
In brief space of time Gales steed
was given into the charge Of a stable
boy, and unconscious and happy, he
entered his domicil and shut the door.
The moment he entered an attentive
ear might have detected the sounds of
a voice in no way mellow or expressive
of endearment and in an instant Gale
hurriedly came through the door, with
amazement on his face and mop in
his rear, the wrong end of which was
under the direct and personal superin-
tendence of lady who was very red
in the face and very sturdy in the arms,
and who strongly resembled Mrs.
Meeks.
The battle had commenced in the
passage way. Gales caster, which had
shone in the rays Of the setting sun as
he drove down the road, was very
much bruised and out Of shape; indeed,
it was driven down over his amiable
physiognomy.
sWhat in thunder is out % yelled
Gale.
"Twenty-fve years DID," shrieked
the infuriatcd dame, and bang, Gale
caught the mop across his shoulders.
"Corkscrew ringlets,'' an! punk he got
it in the back, with all the force which
nature and anger had given to the en-
ragged lady.
"Blame it, don't do that -
But it was no use, he had to take it.
Diamond ear rings! punk. "Silk
velvet dress % bang. "Gold bracelets, ,
whump.
"Murder!" roared Gale.
"Watch and chain - she shrieked,
and biff he took it over the head.
"Muff," bang, slump. "Boa," bang,
bung, and down went Gale with a yell
Of Murder! murder!''
Now fell the blows thick and fast up.
on the bruised head, back and face of
the PROSTATE joker; while the lady
again rehearsed the catalogue of the
wearing apparel and jewels of the 9TH
er Mrs. Meeks, timing the utterance of
the name of each article with blow
upon her PROSTATE, writhing and bleed
ing lord.
But all things must have an end.-
The violent exercise Of the arms and
lungs in which Mrs. Meeks had in
dulged had somewhat exhausted her.
She had thrice run through Mats i'm
aginary catalogue, and feeling her
strength departing, gathered herself
for one grand and final effort Gale
looked with horror upon the appraised
mop; he heard the words, ooh, the
huzzy p shouted in vigorous tone /:
be heard bustling, whizzing sound
in the air, and the next instant the poor
fellows nose was as fat as the other
parts of his face. His two tormentors
retreated into the mansion, and left
him alone in his gore. Slowly, and
with the most keen sensation of pain,
, he raised himself into a sitting pos.
ture, and with many a groan Of agony
he proceeded to inspect his personal
condition.
"This arms broke, certain! Oh
and this left shoulder must be dislocat-
ed! Good Lord, what a nose!
shan't be able to go about for month
Oh, Lord, how sore amp
. Now Nat, with the most pleasure.
: BILE emotions, had, through the creyice
of the fence, observed the whole of the
little family jar which / have so freely
described, and he now stood looking