Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1862-03-07
MISCELLANY Y.
ARENAS Ward in the South.

South. "The swings and arrers ofourlus
foriin,' alluded to by Hamlck. warn't moth
in in comparison to my troubles. ! came
pesky near swearing sum profane oaths
moren onci, but hope l didn't do il, fol
I've promised she whose name shall be
nameless Except that her Initials is Betsey
J.) that I'll jine The meetin House at Bald
winsville, jest as soon as l can scrape mon,
ey enuiftogether so can afford to be plus,
in good siile, like my wclthY nabers. Bu
if I'm confiscated agin, I'm afraid shall
continner on in my present benighted state
for sum time.
/ fggered cospcyously in many lhrillr
scenes in my tower from Montgomery Il
my humsted, and on sevril occasions thot
''lhe CRATE komic paper" wouldn't never be
enriched by lubrications. After hidden
adoo 10 Jefferson ID. ] started for the depot
saw niger sttin on banjo. "My Af-
rikin Brother sed l, cotin from tract i
onct red, ''you belong to a very interestin
race. Your masters is goin to war excloo-
sively on your account"
"Yes, boss" he replied, can wish 'em
honorable graves !" and he went on playin
the banjo, larfn all over and openin his
mouth wide enuf to drive in an old FASH
Toned 2 wheeled chaise.
The train of cars in which / was to trust
my wallerble life was the scaliest. rickity-
est lookin lot Of consarns that l ever saw
on wheels afore. "What time does this
string of second hand collins leavei" in
quired of the depot master. He sed direck-
ly, and / went in & sot down. i hand't
more'n. fairly 'esquatied afore dark lookin
man with swinister expression onto his
countenance entered the cars, and lookin
very sharp at me, he axed what was my
principles.
"Sesesh y i ansered. "I'm Dissouter.
I'm in favor of JEFF. Davis, Bouregard,
Pickens, Capt. Kidd, Bloobeard, Munroe
Edards, the devil, Mrs. Cunningham, and
all the rest of 'em"
"You'r in favor of The war Z"
"Certainly. By all means. Tn in IA
vor of this war, also of the next war. I've
been in favor of the next for over sixteen
years."
"War to the knife p sed the man.
"Blud, Fargo, blad !" sed 1, tho them
words was rit by Shakespeare who is ded.
His mantle fell on the author of THE Sew
en- Sisters" who's goin to have spring
overcoat made out Nv it.
We got under way at larst, an proceeded
on our journey at about the rate of speed
which is generally observed by properly
conducted funeral professions. A hansum
yung gal, with a red muskeier bar on the
back part of her head, and sassy little
black hat tipped on her forred, sot in the
seat with me. She wore little Sesesh flag
pin'd onto her hat, and she was goin for to
see her troo love, who had jined the South
ern army all SO bold and gay. So she told
me. She was chilly and offered her my
blanket.
"Father Twin" l axed.
"Yes, SIR"
"Got any Uncles?'
"A heap. Uncle Thomas is ded, tho"
"Peace to Uncle Thomas's ashes, and
success to him I'll be your Uncle Thorn
as Lean on me my pretty Sesesher, and
and linger i'll blissful repose !" She slept
as secoorely as in her own houses, and
didn't disturb the sollum stiffness of the
night with nary snore.
At the first station troop of Sogers
entered the cars aud inquired if "Old Wax
Works was on board. That was the dis
respectful stile in which they referred to
me. "Recawz, if Old Wax Works is on
board SEES man with face like double
brested lobster, "we're goin TO hang old Wax
Works.
my illustrus and patriotic Bummers p
SEES 1, gettin up and takin OFF my Shappoo.
I'll you allude TO A. Ward, its my pleasin
dooty to inform you that he's ded. lie saw
the errer OF his ways at Is minutes parst
yesterday, and stabbed hisself with sled
stake, dyin in five beautiful tabloos to slow
moosic! His larst words was My per-
teshionah career is over! jerk no more p
@And who be you r.
I'm student in Senator Benjamin's
law otliss. Tn goin up North to steal some
spoons and things for the Suihern arm
This was satisfactory and the intoxicated
trooper went orr. AT the next station the
pretty little Sesesher awoke and sed she
must get cut there. bid her kind adoo,
and CIV her some pervissions. accept my
bessin and this hunk of gingerbread p sed.
She thankt me muchly, and iript galy ava.
There's considerable human mater in man,
and I'm 'iraid | shall alters Civ aid and
comfort 10 the enemy if he Gums to me in
the shape Of nice young gal.
AT the next station ] didn't get orr so
easy. was dragged out of the cars and
rolled in the mud for sevril minits for the
puppus Of "iakin the conseet out Of me-" as