Delaware State journal and statesman., 1862-03-11
HUMoRs OF THE CAMPAIGN

seat of war the following graphic account of
some matters which have escaped the notice of
less yigilant camp followers who write for the
press
Editors \. 4. We have met the enemy at
laal my boy hut l didn't see that he IL ours
We went after him with dying banners. and
noticed when we came hack they were flying
still Honor to the brave who fell on that
bloody field and may we kill enough secession
lists to give each Of them a monument Of skulls
was present at the great battle, my hoy, and
appointed myself n special guard of one Of the
/ l,nggage- wagons in the extreme rear. The
driver saw me coming, and says he;
tYun can't cnt behind this here vehicle, my
| fne little boy
looked at him for q moment, after the man
ner of the late great actor, Ma. Kirby, and says
| /
Soldier, hast thou wife?'
Says he: | reckon.
And sixteen small children :?
Says he; There was only fifteen when last
heard FROM
Soldier says |, were you to die before to-
morrow, what would be your last request p
Here shed two tears
: 1t would be, says he, that some kind friend
would take the job of walloping my offspring
for year on contract, and finding my beloved
wife in subjects to jaw about
Soldier says |, Pm your friend and broth
er. Let me occupy seat by your side
And he didn't let me do it.
While l was skirmishing around in the rear of
another wagon met Raymond of the Times, and
found he was hunting for the {" Great Quadrila-
teral." He said he would go into the thickest
Of the fight and write an account of it on the
knapsack of dead rebel, if it wasn't for the
fact that if he should happen to get mortally
wounded, the Herald would swear that he was
shot while running after his hat. Just at this
fnifa of auA
up at the rate of two steeples and shot-tower
a second. met Fire Zouave on the way down,
and says he:
Towhead, if you see any Of our boys up
where you are going to, just tell them to hurry
down, for there's goin' to be muss, and Mines
felers ill take that ere four-gun hydrant from
the seceshers in less time than you can reel two
yards of hose
AS was very tired, did not 20 all the way
up, but turned back at the first cloud, and re-
turned hastily to the scene of strife happen
ed to light on very fat secesher, who was de-
ing little running for exercise. Down he went
with me on top of him. lie was dreadfully
scared but says he to me, Pve seen you be-
FORE | winked at him, and commenced to
sharpen my sword on a stone.
Tell me- said he, had you female mother?'
| had,' says l.
'And masculine father?
: He wore breeehes'
Then you are my long lost grandfather +
exclaimed the secesher, endeoyorng to embrace
me.
1t won't do, says | i; I've been to the Bowery
Theatre myself : and with that took off his
neck tie and wiped my nose with it, This ae-
tion was no repuguant to the feelings of the
Southern gentleman, that he Immediately died
on my hands--and there left him.
With the remembrance of the many heroic
souls who have sacrificed themselves for their
country that day, have not the heart, my boy,
to continue the subject. l was routed at about
five o'clock in the afternoon, and fell back on
| Washington, where | am now receiving my ra-
tions. | don't take the oath with any spirit
since then; and skeleton with nothing on but
a havelock is all that is left of your oorrespOn-
dent The Maokerel Brigade, of which have
the honor of being n member, was about the
worst demoraliEed of all the brigades, they
covered themselves with glory and perspration
at the skrimmage OF Bull Run. In the first place
they never had much morals, and when it came
to he demoralzed it hadn't any so that ever
since that disaster the peasantry in the neigh
bOrhoOd of the camp have been in constant
mourning for departed pulets and one venera-
BILE rustic complains that the Alackerel pickets
milk all his COWS every night, and come to bor-
row his churn in the morning When one Of
the colonies heard the venerable rustic make
this accusation he said to him
Would yon like to be revenged on those who
milk your animiles p The venerable rustic took
II chew of tobacco, and said he wouldn't
| like anything BETTER The Colonel looked at
him sadly for moment, and then remarked !;
| aged stranger, you are aheady revenged. The
men who milked your animes are from New
York, where they had been accustomed TO drink
milk composed principally Of Croton WATER
Upon drinking the pure article furnished by
your gentle boastesses, they were oil taken vio
lently sick, and are now lying ut the point Of
illness, expecting every moment to be their
first" The venerable rustic was 80 affected by
this intelligence that he Immediately went home
in tears.
BY invitation of well-known powder mon
key, visited the Navy Yard yesterday, and wit
messed the trial Of some newly invented rifed
cannon. The trial was of short duration, and
the jury brought verdict of 4" innocent of any
intent to kill"
The first gun tried was similar to those used
in the Revolution, except that it had large
touch-hoe, and the carriage was painted green
instead of blue. This novel and ingenious weA-
pom was pointed at a target about sixty yards
distant 1t didn't hit it, and as nobody saw any
ball, there was much perplexity expressed A
mdshipman did say that he thought the ball
must have run out Of the touch-hole when they
loaded up, for which he was instantly expelled
from the service. After long search, without
finding the ball, there was some thought of
summoning the Naval Retiring Board to decide
on the matter, when somebody happened to look
into the mouth of the cannon and discovered
that the ball had not went out at ALL The in
ventor sad that this would happen sometimes,
especially if you didn't put brick over the
touch-hole when you fired the gun. The Gov
ernment was so well pleased with this explsna-
tiun that it ordered forty of the guns on the
spot, at two hundred thousand dollars apiece
The guns to be furnished as soon as the var is
: over.