The Cass County Republican. [volume] (Dowagiac, Mich.) 18??-1880, 1862-03-06
Why Phil. Weston Didn't Rise in His
Profession.

Phil. Weston and Archy Walton
were college chums both entered and
graduated at the same time. They
were always seen together, and if any
severe sdac was started, the two W.'s
were bound to be accused of being
in some way connected with it, and
often Justly, too, for they were tnl of
the Dew Ancient Henry mean.
They left College, and commenced the
study of the Law in the same office.
Many were the mad pranks they cut
up during their novilate, one of which
the substance l here give, though ]
render the credit of it's originality to
Mae, of the n. o. Press.
The two WIS had retired to their
rooms one evening, when Archy said
Phil. what's the state of the f.
nance p r.
Phil. replied by sundry taps on the
various pockets, from which eminated
no musical jingle, while Archy held
out his empty purse and grinned a
ghastly smile. This expressive pan
tomine was we'll understood by each.
by the homes of Pat Murphy's koy
bngler y exclaimed Phil, but its tight
papers with u.s.
Meanwhile Archy paced the floor,
with hands thrust elbow deep into his
pockets. A quiet smile at length stole
over his face, and he exclaimed
Il have it, Phil. !-and if you'll lend
a hand, we can ring right silcery
sounds and pretty notes by it.
Spit it out, Archy! Pm on hand
for all things agreeable to our common
veal, said Phil. and he did spit it
out, for the swee swa' hours ayont the
twal, found them arranging their plans
The next morning our two disciples
of Coke and Littleton took their seats
in stage coach for small country
town, some twenty miles distant, at
which place they arrived about dark
that evening, (Friday) and inquiring
their way TO the residence of the prin-
cipal minister of the place, they called
ON him, aud stated that they were
young Divines from, travelling
West, and having run short of funds,
would willingly relieve the old gent on
the following Sunday. by holding forth
in his stead, for the purpose of raising
a small amount to enable them to CON
Time their Journey. The next day
Archy caused it to be pretty generally
known about town that celebrated
preacher would hold forth in the pul
pit of the Methodist Parson. Now
Phil. was quite good orator, though
very near sighted, which caused him
to wear glasses, thus giving him quite
a clerical appearance. Twas agreed
that Archy should write a sermon, and
Phil. deliver it, and his near sighted.
ness only to be 'obviaied by Archy's
prompting him, for which purpose he
privately established himself under
the desk of the pulpit, inside. When
quite a good assembly had arrived,
Phil. arose and stated the purpose OF
his appearance before them, and then,
after a prayer, more noted for its brew
ity than aught else, hymn was sung
and collection was taken up, and the
plate with thoughtful .lelicacy, placed
on the seat in the pulpit. Phil.'s tex,
was, (as selected by Archy,)q 81. N
Ind Jere6odna aoared fit and kick
ed.' The singnlarity of the text sur.
prised while it interested the audience.
Phil. proceeded quite smoothly alou.
as far rs he had committed to memory
the sermon, which. for the convenience
of Archy, he held down in front ol
him between the thumb and foretingei
Of each band, occasionally letting &c