Cleveland morning leader. [volume] (Cleveland [Ohio]) 1854-1865, 1862-09-15

HINTS FOR TIE FAIR.-The following hints
win be found valuable by those who attend
the Fair, especially our country friends:
In going to the Fair Grounds keep to the
streets leading there. You may gain little
on distance by taking it across lots, but the
time lost in scaling brick walls and fences,
and the danger incurred from iron piekets
and house dogs will more than cOunterbal-
anee it.
The parallel streets leading to the grounds
viii be found to run in the same direction,
mostly. OF any two routes to the grounds
equally direct, one will be found about as
short as the other.
Visit the saloons outside of the ground be-
fore entering, and drink all the ''tangle-fOot"
you can hold. It will leave less for those
whe are less able to hold it than you are, and
who cannot take as good care of themselves
as you can when under the influence of it.
Examine everything that is on exhibition
very minutely. Do not fail to handle every
thing. This can be easily done where the
articles have handles to them, like plows,
harrows, cradles, coffns, work baskets, tin
dfppers, door handles, broom handles, mop
handles, pitehfork handles, knife handles,
jug handles, axe handles, chopping knife han
dies, kettle handles, umbrella handles, &c.
Veneering can be tested by few sharp raps
with cane or a kick with your boot toe.
If you suspect that solid rosewood furniture
so called is nothing but veneering, try your
jaek-knife on it.
If you have at some time or another picked
out the notes of " Bounding Billows on the
piano, and you come across one of those in
struments at the Fair, sit down and make
those billOws bound across the keys for an
hour or two, with pedal accompaniment, and
don't Z" cease thy motions then, unless you
have succeeded in driving everybody out, or
crazy.
Boys should continually turn the handles
Of all tanning mills, patent churns, corn cut
tiers, sugar mills, coffee mills, corn shelters,
paint mills, saw mills, threshing machines,
&c. The combined clatter is so soothing to
weak nerves. If they can drag a few sub
soil ploEs, harrows and combined reapers and
mowers across the field, it would add to the
general comfort and cheerfulness.
When you are in crowd put your hand
often on the pocket in which you keep your
money, to assure yourself it is safe. Pick
pockets never observe such motions.
If polite young gentleman takes you
aside and wants a small loan, agreeing to
leave his watch or a hundred dollar bill a.
security, let him have the money. The watch
or hundred dollar bill will prove worthless,
but the experience is worth considerable.
Ladies are requested not to feed their par
asols to the sheep. Gentleman are also re-
minded that diet of walking canes is not
advantageous to the development of the Lei
cester and Devon breeds of cattle.
Gentlemen who insert their fingers in the
straw-eutters will find bandages and horse
doctors at the back of the lot
COuntrymen not having badges are forbid
den to ride on the bulls
Country editors are requested to leave their
names and address with Marshal Gallagher.
This attention on their part will assist the
police nightly.
Gentlemen who desire to climb the liberty
pole will please ascertain with regard to the
integrity of their pants before doing so. Fat
gentleman who propose turning hands-prings
will please have a review and dress parade in
like manner previous to any gymnastic dis
play.
If you are in pursuit of knowledge step
aside With some engaging stranger who wishes
to show you something curious-he will
probably show you little black ball with
piece Of paper in it. You can bet all you've
got on it-ifyOu are fool enough.
Each visitor to the Fair should cut out the
above hints and past them in the inside of
his hat for frequent reference.