The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1862-10-17
By Request.
HOW l CAME TO BE MARRIED.


got rib and baby! Shadows departed -oys-
ter stews, brandy cocktails, cigar-boxes,
boot-iacks, absorbing shirt buttons, whist
and dominoes. Shadows resent-hoop-
skirts, band-boxes, ribbons, CATERS, long
stockings, juvenile dresses, tin trumpets,
little willow chairs, cradles, bibs, pap sugar
teats, paregoric, hive-syrup, rhubarb, SIENNA,
salts, castor oil, Godfreys cordial, squills,
doctors bills. Shadows future more nine
pound babies, more hive syrup, etc., ETC., etc.
I'll just tell you how i got caught. | was
the durndest, most tea-custard, bashful fell
low you ever did see; it was kinder in my
line to be taken with the shakes every time
I saw pretty girl approaching me, and I'd
cross the street any time rather than face
one. 1t was not because | did not like the
critters, for, if | was behind fence peep
ing through knot-hole, | couldn't look at
one long enough.
Well, my sister ib gave party one
night, and | stayed away from home because
I was too bashful to face the music. / hung
around the house whistling sold Dan Tuck
er," dancing to keep my feet warm, watch
ing the heads pop up and down behind the
window curtain, and wishing the thunder
ing party would break up so that could get
to my room. / smoked bunch of cigars,
and as it was getting late and mighty un-
comfortable, | concluded to shin it up the
door post. No sooner said than done, and
| soon found myself in bed. ssNow," says
I, 'let her rip, dance till yer wind gives out.'
and cuddling under the quilts, Morpheus
grabbed me. Twas dreaming of soft-shelled
crabs, shrimps, stewed oysters, &C., when
somebody knocked at the door. Rap, laid
low. Rap, rap, rap Then heard whis-
pering, and 1 knew there was a whole raft
of girls outside-rap, rap, rap, then Lib
sings out:
Jack, are you there's
Yes says I-then came roar of laugh
LET us in, says she.
4 won't, says |.
Then another laugh. BY thunder. be-
gan to be riled.
Cant you let fellow alone r
Are you a-bcd?' says she.
4 am,' says l.
Get up says she.
4 won't, says |.
Then another laugh.
Get out, you petticoated scare-crow, |
cried, cant you get beau without pulling
fellow out of bed? won't go home with
you-I won't-so you may clear out.' and
throwing boot at the door felt better.
But presently, OH mortal buttons, |
heard a still small voice, very much like my
sister Lbs, and it said:
Jack, you'll have to get up, for all the
girls things are in there
Oh Lord what pickle. think of me in
bed, all covered over with muffs, shawls,
bonnets and cloaks, and twenty girls at the
door waiting to get in; if | had had time to
think should have tainted on the spot, as
il was rolled out among the bonnet ware
and ribbons in hurry. Smash went the
millinery in every direction. [ had to dress
in the dark, for there was hole in the door,
and girls will peep, and the way | tumbled
about was death to straw hats.
The moment came; opened the door
and found myself right among the women.
'Oh, my dear leghorn.' cried one, my
dear, darling little winter beaver!' cried an
other; and they pitched and they pulled,
this way and that, and one bright-eyed Gt-'
tie piece, SAL her name was, put her arms
around my neck and kissed me right in the
mouth. Human nature couldn't stand that,
and give her as good as she sent. 1t was
the first time l ever got taste, and it was
powerful good. believe could have kiss
ed that gal from julius Caesar to the 4th of
July.
Jack, said she, we are sorry to disturb
YOU. but won't you see me homer
yes said /, Il WILL And did, and /
had another smack at the gate, too.
After that we took kinder turtle-doving
after each other; both of us sighed like a
barrel of cider, when we were away from
each other.
It was at the close of a glorious summer
day-the sun was setting behind a distant
hog-pen-and the chickens were going to
roost-the bull-frogs were commencing their
evening songs-the polly-wogs in their ma
tive mud-puddles were preparing themselves
for the shades of night Sal and my
self sat upon an antiquated backlog, listen
ing to the music of nature; such as tree
toads, roosters, grunting-pigs, and now and
then the mellow music of distant jackass
was waited to our ears by the gentle zeph-
yrs that sighed among the mullen stalks,
and came heavily laden with the delicious
odors Of henroosts and pig stys. The last
lingering rays of the setting sun glancing
fion the brass buttons of a solitary horse
man, shone through knot-hole in the hog
pen, full in Sails face, dying her hair to an
orange peel hue, and showing off my thread