East Saginaw courier. (East Saginaw, Mich.) 1859-18??, 1862-11-11
SENSE AND NONSENSE.

A lady said to her husband in Jer-
rolds presence: "My dear you certain
" want some new trowsers. "No;
think not answered the affectionate hus-
band. "Well," Jerold interposed, Il
think the lady who wears them ought
TO know"
Putarch says in his life Of Alexander.
the Babylonans used TO sleep during
dog days, ia skins filed with water,
The Boston Times adds, that in these
days men sleep in skins filed with bad
rum.
A certain deacon called Highley,
used TO 'trade horses" at the Berkshire
cattle market. Stirred up by the
preaching of his minister, he, one Sun
day, "after neeting,' thus communicated
to one Brown "You don't spose, broth.
or Brown" he argued, "you don't spose
them little stories-sort lies, like-that
you and tell in the way o. trade, will
be reckoned agin us on the day o. judg-
ment Sarcumstanced as we are, we
cant help it, you know. l don't spose
it makes no difference in the sight o
the Lord, long as the hearts all right,
brother Brown" And the Brother
went home comforted.
1t was the custom in Massachusetts,
in early times, as We learn from Lewis's
History of Lynn, for a person to go
about the meeting houses during the
divine service, and wake the sleepers.
"He bore a long wand, on one end of
which there was ball, and the other
fox tail. When no observed the men
asleep, he raped them on the head
with the knob ! and reused the slumber-
ing sensibities of the ladies by draw
ing the brush lightly across their faces"
Our present fashionable churches ought
TO do likewise as they have plenty of
sleepers.
A celebrated itinerant preacher, Of
the present day, held forth short time
since, at Dannville, Penn. in giving no.
tice of his intention to preach, he re-
quested the ladies' not to fetch their chill
dren, when they came to hear him. He
thought it enough to have one crying
aloud in the wilderness at time.
In ancient days the celebrated pre-
cept WAS "knnw thyself' In modcrn
times, 1t has been suppnlatcd by a far
more fashionable maxim; "Know thy
neghbor and every thing about him."
"Iow would you divide drachm ?"-
asked one printer of his fellow compos.
itor. "Wby replied the other, if COM
PEELED to divide it | would drink one
halt, and throw the other away"
AT free black settlement in Africa,
a police ordinoncc was lately issued, by
which it was forbidden that any person
should publicly worship alligators, thnn-
der, or other reptiles, or they would be
subjected to a penalty not exceeding
ten shillings.
An Editor who visited the U. s. Su-
preme Court, at Washington, writes of
the nine Judges he saw there, that eight
of them looked for all the world, like
row of wornout nurses sitting in an in
telligence Office waiting to be hired.
1t takes member of the Illinois
Legislature a considerable time to get
rich in the service. He receives one
dollar day and, and pays two for
board. The rest he is expected to give
to the poor.
SS "There now" cried a little
girl while rumagi ng drawer in bu-
reau, "therc now, gran'pa has gone TO
heaven without his spectacles.
WHERE TO GET suBsTITUTEs.-Agents-
for substitutes are referred to Greedy,
& Co.. who have three times three
hundred thousand" reserves eager To
"leap like flaming giants into the fight"
If you would have an idea Of the
ocean in storm just imagine four thou
sand hills and four thousand mountains,
all drunk, chasing one another over
newly. plowed ground, with lots of cav.
erns in it for them to step into now and
then.
A man who was imprisoned for big.
amy, complained that he had been sew
erely dealt with for an offence which
carries its own punishment.
The mind of bigot is like the pupil
Of an eye; The more light you throw
upon it the more it contracts.
A Chinese proyerb says a lie has
no legs and cannot stand but it has
wings and can fly far and wide.
When eight cows have been in pas.
ture, and can no longer get nourish-
ment, two horses will do very well for
some days; and when nothing is loft for
horses, four sheep will 1.-Two upon it.
Scandal will rub out like dirt when it
is dry.
What is garden sass Cultivated
impertinence. fs
Did you ever see anything walk with.
out legs2 Yos--a rope.waIk.
He who follows the foo tsteps Of an
other will always romain behind.
Why is the letter u the gaycst in the
alphabet? because it is always in fun.
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