The dollar weekly bulletin. [volume] (Maysville, Ky.) 1862-1864, 1862-07-03
ROSS & ROSSER, Publishers.
The Yankee at a Modern Hotel.


= whose highest ambition seemed to be m ain
20 tain their ascendency over pair of enorm
IS GUS cowhides, that had trodden many hund
% red miles Of longing paths, "mght have
. been seen.' jack knife and shingle in hand
o winding his way up long wharf in the reali
= cation of his life long anticipation of "seeine
Bostipg." At the corner of NJ erchants' Row
his progress was arrested by the numbering
transit of two-storv house on wheels
: drawn by half dozen yoke of oxen, with
the people inside pursuing their usual avo-
cations.
What on airth is that 'ere?' he asked of
bystander.
'Oh, nothing replied the towney. the
folks are only moving, that's all. When we
move dow here, we move house and ALL
Jerusalem! WALL that beats all natur
Wall, capn. what's that ere big stun house
over the left?
That's the new custom-hous It's a
might bad location, but they are going to
move it next week.
Thunder and molasses! Irll take all the
oxen in creation to start her.'
'Oh, they use elephants for moving such
large buildings
Aud how many elephants will it talle?'
Upwards Of hundred
The Yankee cut 4 deep cash In his shin
gle. aud walked on.
He next enquired for the Adams Ii ouse,
for he had hearn tel' of that and was de-
termined to progress during juvinility, av are
of the impossjbiity of doing so at q more
advanced age.
IL soon found the tavern and the dea-
CON- and ordered accom- modations, literally
'darning the expenses Having slicked up
a little lie witnessed, with some amazement,
/ the operations of a servant upon the gong.
simply remarkng. that he 'knowed what
sheet lightning was, but this WAS the first
time he'd ever heard of sheet thunder He
followed the crowd into the dining hall and
was ushered to a seat. where he ersconced
himself, tuck;ng his towel under his chin
with a sort of desperation. as if he wore go
ing to be shaved or scalped.
The sight of the covered dishes added to
his amazement. bod darn it!' he exclaim-
ed 'ef ever b card of cooking on the table.
but here they've gone and sot tin kitchens
all over the lot Whar's the fire to come
from, that's what I'd like to know
He got long with his soup very we'll and
was pausing for breath before he finished 1t,
when a waiter snatched his plato away, and
was running off with it.
Hello, you sirl' voc iferated the Yankee,
y see YOU Fetch that 'ere back qnickr'n .
Eghtnn'. or you'll have your head punched ,
His plate was returned and he finished /
his soup with dignity. After waiting mo-
ment, he raised his voico again, and sum-
moned the .ffenGing waiter sternly.
'Kalkelate to starve me?'
No. sir
Wall why don't you fetch on some fresh
fodder, darn itn
There's the carte, SIR
Where's the cart? And what in thunder
am / to do with the cart when l have got
I
catch it,
4 dor't pay my bill till L have had my
fodder"
The waiter humbly explained his mean
What does all these crack-jaw names
M can; give me som ething plain and hearty
bid corn beef-and fetch it about the
quickest, while look over the paper and
see what else P!l hev.'
The m eat was brought him.
Hold on' was the next order. What's
this here? M-a-c-c-a-read it, won't you, !
sir?'
'Maccaroni, SIR
AN right, cap'n. Hurry 1t up
The d ish was brought.
.You eternal cuss! roared the down-easter, {
'ef baint as great a mind as l ever had to
kerwhollop yer, and make an example OF
yer on the spot. What do you mean by
running your rigs on me. jest because I'm I
stranger in these parts? Take away your
yer billed pipestems and fetch us some cab r
bage. That's right. And now some vne-
gar -,
Vinegar's in the castor SIR replied the
waiter, and made good his retreat
In the castor is it-bey?' soloquized the {
Yankee; and where in thunder is the cas- .
.or?'
The gentleman opposite pushed it towards g
him. He look ed at it, and took the stopper :
,ut of the vinegar, taking up the castor by r
he bottom, turned it up. But all the ,
,ruets manifested a desire to illustrate the |
aw of gravity. and leaped from their loca- $
ion. and the Yankee was compelled to set |
t down again. r
.Jorusalemn he exclaimed. 'rhis here is
!, curious coutrivauce, and no M lStake How f
IN earth am | to get at the tarnel vinegar! G
ri try it once m ore.' Again he canted the [
castor. but this time all the stopples tum bed s
,ut.
.Thupdcration!' he roared; heres pretty {
ness. Darn it all here i've got the darned S
castor lie in my gravy, and the darned red
ed on my cabbage, and the yalier on my
ater. Darn the thing l say"
MY friend, said the gentleman opposite, a
with strong control over his risible mus
lies, sit appears to me that if were in want t
Of vinegar / would take the cruet out OF the
stand. and by that means should avoid all ,
roube.'
Here the whole company. walters and all.
,urst into fit of laughter. The Yankee
ose in a rage. upsetting the chair and glaring l
le6ance on his neighbor.
How in the name of al tarnel cusses in
.reation,' he yelled, should | know any