The Kenosha telegraph. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1860-1888, 1862-03-20
1.,he BED Umbrella.

We have about 3eEa with umbrellas; We have
had them borrowed and ney It returnt1 'aa ave
had them stolen: Dst them in railroad
cars. Our last, faded & Gle, poor one, but
our own, honestly obtained, psye,.s false IL
the last storm Of wind and rain, lns.e-a OF
standing by US, as we were running into the
winds eye, it shivsred, wan9ped, turned ITSELF
wrong side out, and in saUta was blown out
Of the boltropes. 4 fw ta;tared rags Of silk,
looking like the Gag of forlorn hope, few
shreds of shattered whalebone, some Jagged bits
of steel and distorted handle, we're all that was
left of that once loved and trusted parachute. -
We flung the fragments into the gutter, and
marched off proudly in the pelting ram, creHch,
ed. but independent. In our new born hatred
of umbrellas, the following story administered TO
our mood.
It is now some years since an English gentle
man arrived at his lodgings in Pail Mall, Lon
don, with a bright scarlet cotton umbrella in
his possession. The article was one III common
use in the country from whence he had come
and he had brought it without thought. few
DAYS residence ii. an Eng. climate NATURAL
brought use for an umbrella, and he TOOK his
foreign acquisition out into the London street.
1t answered his purpose; it kept off the rain, and
our friend was not particular about the Indlfter-
ent accidents Of color and fabric
But what could the matter be !? Every one
turned and stared after him the crossing sweep
e1s stood aghast and forgot to beg If the sun
had come out, and Peter Schlemyl had passed
without his shadow the sensation could not nave
heen greater. Then a little crowd gathered at
his heels, and people began TO talk at him.
Some said he was foreign spy, some sald ne
was A traitor, some thought he was Red re
publican refugee but all were agreed that ne
was an exceptionable and dangerous person -
The owner of the umbrella, who was a man OF
A. hof
never 40 for five shilling umbrella; so he ioid-
ed up the too remarkable article, submitted to
some sprinkling on his way home, returned ans
umbrella to It's stand, and expended shilling
in cab hire to 90 whittier he had intended 10
walk.
few DAYS after he was visited by one of the
most imnudent men of the town, an individual
rather fond of being remarkable. An Englsh
shower was falling when the guest TOOK ms 4ea'e
and the owner of the umbrella told him the story,
and offered him the loan of it; our undeunted
dandy laughed at his friends weakness, and
sailed forth, canopied with the bright crimson.
The same sensation. At first our friend delight
ed in being the object of attention. But the
crowd at his heels began to accumulate; the
little boys asked him impairment questions; the
cad of the omnibus, always inimlcal to umbrel-
las shouted impertinent observations to him ;
the crowd pressed upon him; and when people
asked each other what was the matter the guess
ing answers soon took the form of actual asser-
tions. Sometimes he was ticket OF leave man;
sometimes he was identified with some notori-
GUS criminal, of whom the police were IN search.
The popular hostility was too great for him-hs
returned the umbrella.
The original proprietor told the story to many,
and among others, to young man OF determin-
ed but rather bilious temperament, who did
everything, to the pairing of his finger nails or
the tying of bis eravat, upon principle. DE was
Indignant at the popular tyranny. What was
there in the color of an umbrella? There was
no moral harm in bright scarlet; he would set
himself against the despotism of the mob. he
took the umbrella, with all its responsibilities
and he carries it to this day, He always has a
little mob of urchins at his heels he has been
thrice in police Office he has been often-times
hustled and robbed twice has his umbrella
been torn to pieces, and he has had another
made upon the same pattern. He had been fined
heavily for a savage assault upon little boy
and he had grown morose, and as some say, mo-
quite right in the mind. Scarlet umbrellas have
not come into fashion, and he is only less no
Tested because he has become notorious for hi'
folly WGUerLy.