Daily Ohio statesman. [volume] (Columbus, Ohio) 1855-1870, 1862-11-02
FROM A. WARD.
Treating Of the Noble Red Mar-DOmesiic AZ
tahs-A StyeKade, etc

ITedunq OF Inc N00Ie hso MdE-Domestc AZ
Jahs-A StyeEade, etc
The red man of the forrest was formerly e
very respectful person. Justice 10 the noble
aboorygins warrents me In sayin' that origger-
nelly he was majestic cuts
At the time Chris arrove on these chores Il
alood to Chris. Columbus), the seyjis was yir-
toOus and happy. They were innocent of Sc
ceshion, rum, drawpoker, and einfnlness giRir.
ally. They didn's discuss the slavery question
as custom. They bad no Congress, tarobaDks,
delirium tremens, Or Associated Press. Their
habits was consequently good, Late suppeis,
dyspepsy, gas companies, thievea, ward pollti
clans, pretty wsiter-girls, and other Id metropolis.
tan rtinements were unknown among them
No savage in good standing would take post
sge.stamps You couldn't have bot a coon
skin with barrel Of 'em. The female aboo-
rygine never died Of consumption, because che
didn't tie her wais. up In Whalebone things:
but in loose aOWiU' garmints she bounded with
nake1 feet, over the hill and plains like the
free and iIisky antelope. Il was onlucky mo-
ment for us when Chris. got his foot on this ere
shores. IL would have been better for us OF
the present day II the Injine had given him a
warm meal and sent him home o'er the rsgin
bilers. For the s1vages owned the country, aud
Columbus was q flllbustef. Cortez, Pzlrro,
and Walker were one horse illibustere, Coum-
bus Was four horse team flibuster, ard
large yaller dog under the wagon. say, In
view OF the mesa He are making Of things, 1t
| would have been better fog us II Columbus had
staid to home, Il would have been bette. for
the show bisniss. The circulation of Vanity
Fair would be larger. and the proprie,Ors would
all have booznn pins! Yes sir, and prehaps
ten pin alley, ....
By which dol't wish to be understood as
intimatn' that the scalpin wgetches who are in
the IDjn bisnss ut the present day are of any
account, or calculated to make home happy,
specially the Sioux Of Minnesota, who deserve
to be murdered In the first degree, and if Pope
will only stay ln st Paul and not 60 near them
himself. reckon they will be.
Things ia our town is workin. The canal
bost "Lucy Ann" called in here the other day
and reported all quiet on the Wabash. The
"Lucy Ann" has adopted o new style Of Bin.
nekle light, In the shape of red. headed gal
who eits up over the compass. II works well.
The artist spoke of In my last. has return.
ed to Philadelphy, Before he left took hia
lilly white hand in mine. | suggested to him
that If he could enduce the citizens OF Phila.
delphy to believe that 1t would be good IDEA
to have white window-shutteFs on their houses
aud white door-stones, he might make fortin
sits novelty" added, "and may star,le ZEN
at fust, but they may concood to adopt IT,"
, As several of our public men are constantly
being surprised with serenades, concluded II
be surprised In the same way, so made arrange
men,s accordin'. lacked the Brass Band how
, much they would take, to take me entirely b.
: Hurprise with serensde. They said they't
overwhelm with IN unexpected honor for sever
dollars, which excepted. e
wrote out my improm.oo speech severa
= days beforehand, bein' very careful to expung
all ingrammatlcisms and paJi particular al
tention to the punklooaiion. II was, II / ma
say it without egidsm, manly effort, bu
alars! never delivered it, as tho sekel vii
show you. Ipaced up ana down the kitche
, speskin' my piece over go ss to be entirely per
bothered me summit By siDein'-"Whyd do sum
|: mer roses iade2"
"Beoause," asid I, after hearing her sing
e about fourteen times, "becsuse It's their biz
}, Let 'em fade"
"Betsy," said !, pausin in the middle of th
room and letting my eagle eye wander from th
, manuscrip; "Betsy, on the night of this her
serenade, desires you to appear at the Windt
dressed In white, and wave lilly white banker
cher. Dye hear'"
= eff appear" said that remarkable femal,
D. al shall wave a lilly white bucket of biin' be
' water, and somebody will be scslded One bul
: headed old fool will get his share"
v She refe:'d to her husband; no doubt abu,
" il in my mind. But for fear shs might exasp
rate me ssid n0thin'. E2T "a. r-g9-T
The expected night cum. Ats o'clock pr
at cise'y, there were sounds of footsteps ir Il
o, yard, aud the Band struck up lively air, whil
It. when they did finish it, there we're cries
r "Ward" Ward" slept out onto the DO
Il tico. A brief glance showd me that the asseI
Il blsge was summit mixed. There was gre
., many ragged boys, and there was quite nui
co Der of grown up persons evidently uader &
influence Of the intoxicatin' bole The Ba
MAS also drunk. DR.. Schwpzey, who was hol
Id Ing up post, seemed to be partic'ly drunk
r. much 80 that IL had got into his spectacle
De which were stsggerin' wildly over his nose. B
nd was In for IL, and commenced thus: i-
"Feller Citizens: For this Unexpected hon
Iif "
q Leader Of the Band--will you give US O
'ir money now or wait till you get throughf
To this painful and disgus,in interruption
paid no attention. "a ..'
" 9 for this unexpected honor tha
N. you" =
n Leader Of the Band Bot you said you'd pi
en- US seven dollars If we'd play two choons.
n. Again don't notice him, but resumed
follows;, IL say l thank you warmly, WI
ed look at this crowd of true Americans,
ed heart swells -"
DR. SchiDlzey-So do I!
"A Voice-We ell do!
th - my heart swells 49,"
ed A Voice-Three cheers for the swells.
be 1--WE live" said /, "in nublus times, bu
Is hope shall again resume our former pro
lic positions, and shall 60 on In our glorious {
reer!" ''o4
he DR.. Sehoazsy--I'm willin' for one to die
Ior q glorious career. Will you Join me, fello
al -'Dss' ~ ee'-Ss 3'"- - .tN SaS' :
'lruo1 6 dgo 9aisih 19ia N t2'