Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1862-05-10
Fact, Fancy and Fun.

Fact, Fancy and Fun.
Learn wisdom by the follies of 9TH
ers.
Good character is above all things
else
We trust to our Foote The reb.
el troops trust to their feet
The Southern Confederacy looks
dull just now, but our armies are scour-
ing it. @
Floyd has just bravery enough 10
steal guns, Bnd far too little to stand
before them. .-.
Why are all girls after certain
age called womens Because they be.
gin to WOO the men,
Make few promises. Live up TO
your engagements. Keep your own
secrets If you have any.
The rebels have courage enough
to destroy their cities and towns, but
not to destroy themselves.
The CoDfederates find fualt with
arranging stars on their flag. It has
hitherto proved ill-starrea.
Islander not others because thew
have slandered you; bite not a reptile
because you have felt his bite.
"A sure mode Of never succeeding
with your own plans is to give too
much attention to the plans OF others.
If the fire-eaters can get no salt
to season their yiands, won't saltpetrc
suit their teroc!ous tastes still better
The rebels, wherever they go,
seem to have passion for burning ev-
erything under heaven except gunpov.
der.
Pack your cares in as small d
space as you can, SO that you Can car
ry them yourself, and not let them an.
noy others.
AT sixteen 4 woman prefers tbs
best dancer in the room at two and.
twenty the best talker; at thirty the
richest man.
The Union soldiers will be able to
stand the summer better than the reb-
els, for they have a greater talent tor
keeping cool.
The editor Of an Eastern paper
says that many Of his subscribers would
make tlp-top good wheel el-horses-they
hold back so well,
Happy the man who is an early
riser. Every morning day comes to
him with virgin love, full of bloom,
purity and freshness,
If you ask an obstinate man TO in.
cline his ears to reason, he is very like
ly to incline them backward, like o
horse bent to mischief.
There is q lady up town VITO saws
that if q cart wheel has nine fellows at.
tached to it, it's pity that a woman
like her can't have one.
AT the ladies' ordinary, Burnett
House, Harrisburg, we see On the list
of dishes, "Ladies' Kisses" 1t must
be q seceet place to dine at
1t appears that there are nine hun
dred and forty seven horse thieves in
confinement throughout the country
exclusive of those in Fort Warren.
Your character cannot be essenti.
ally injured except by your own acts.
IF any one speaks i'll of you let your
life be so that none will believe him.
The Scriptures speak of men ask
ing for bread and receiving a stone
The rebels call for salt, and get pep
pered. They think they receive the
wrong condimcnt.
Tho rebels who lately occu pied
portions OF Kentucky OUCH. TO feel
deep interest IN that State. The theiv-
ing rascals took vast amount of stock
in it.
"A Southern paper says the people
in that region can use rye coffee if they
can't get Java and Rio. 1t is a very
strong kind of "coffee'' the rebels dis.
til from their rye.
"A New Orleans paper suggests
that Commodore Hollius' big turtle, if
q steamers iron prov were TO strike
her in the middle, might snap her in
TIVE" W e should like to see her made
2 swapping turtle.
1t is stated that the sound Of the
cannonading at Fort Donelson was
heard two hundred miles. Singular as
it may appear, the shoek was felt at q
rcuct greater distance. It is repre-
seEted to have been terrific IS far away
as Richmond.