The weekly north Iowa times. [volume] (McGregor, Iowa) 1857-1867, 1862-04-23
An Adventure Oh the Cars.

There were five of us-yes, five as happy
fellows as ever were let loose from college.
1t was a vacation and we concluded to
take trip to the Falls: We got aboard
the cars at N, and were soon travel
ing very rapidly toward our destination.
We had just seated ourselves and pre-.
pared for comfortable smoke, when in
came the conductor, and who should he be
but our old friend, Fred. b. Afte,
the common salutations had passed, Fred
said he had some business for US to attend
to.
"Out With it old chum," said we, any
thing at all will be acceptable ble-so let us
have il"
"Well boys" said Fred, in very con-
fi1untlal tone, 'in that next car there is as
loving pair as it was ever my lot to see
They are going down to A. to get married
and now if you can have any fun over it.
just pitch in. They must be cared for, and
| don't know VINO can do it better than
you.'
In moment Fred. was gone, and we set
our heads together to form plan for taking
care of the lovers.
~ have it boys" said Bill Sewers eve
must make that girl believe that her lover
is married."
That's it Bill.-tl,ats it, we said, not
giving him time to finish.'
THAT he's married and the father OF
chi!drcn,' said Bill.
That's The game boys, and now let u
play it,
1t devolvcd upon me to commence ope-
rat.onS. Accordingly, l entered the Car
~, ;,,E> I
and sure enough, there they sat, in real
lovers style.
All this gathered at glance. Stepping
up to them, | said
"Why, Mr.. Jones, what in the deuce are
you doing with this gr?''
See here stranger" said the fellow,
you're little mite mistaken, my na...e
amt jones'
Why JONES' said I, you certainly have
not forsakcn your wife and children, and
tried to palm yourself off for a single man,
have yon?'
4 tell you my name aint Jones; its Har-
per; it never was Jones, and aint agoin' to
be nuther'
Imerely shook my head and passed on to
a seat so as to see the rest Of the fun. TIL.
grl looked wild after | sat down; but
Jones alias Harper, soon convinced her that
was mistaken.
About the time they got to feeling right
well again, in came Elliott Gregg. Walk
ing up to Harper he said:
why Jones, you here? How did you
leave your wife and babicsy
Now look here, stranger, you aint the
flSt man that's called me Jones to- day, and
reckon that must look awfu!ly like him
but my name aint Jones, and you mustn't
call me Jones. aint got no wife and
babies, nuther, but this gal and is goin
to splice, and then you can talk about my
wife, and wouldn't wonder bat what, in
the course of time, you might talk about
the babies too
This retort brought forth vociferous
laughter from the spectators, and it also
brought bushes to the face Of the girl, that
was 'g"in' to get spliced.'
'Ah, Jones, said Gregg, you will regret
this in future. ! pity your wife and chill
dren and this poor girl
so Mr. Harper, your real name is Jones,
tiS it, an you've been fooling me have you:
Well, We aint spliced yet, and don't think
we will be very soon, said the girl, and he,
eyes fairly flashed fire.
Jane, Jane, said he don't you know I'm
Bill Harper? Thar aint darned drop o.
Jones blood in me-
At this moment the other boys came in
and their attention was drawn to Harper
by his loud talking. THY stepped up to
| him and SAID:
Jones, what's all this fuss about?'
This was more than Harper could stand
He leaped upon seat.
Now, said he, my name aint Jones ant
| can lick any fcler that says it is
BY this time We had got to A., ant
our friend Fred came in and made Harpe
keep quiet. The girl got aboard the trair
returning to ~, and the notorious
Jones alias Harper, followed her. We af
terwards learned that he satisfactorily prov
ed himself to be Bill Jones, and he and hi
gal Jane, got spliced.'