Litchfield enquirer., 1862-10-09
meditatively, ''-miE stream! Why. then, you'd better dam your syes.'

 ly adviics of Colonel Webert Wohinson's mus have been misunderstood in some way; for ar instant departure of several piously inclined re eruits took place precipitately, and the pool chap chuckled like g dend. : ':1.' ;:i 1T
 It is the greatast misfortune of our mother tongue, my boy, that words of wildly diffsren meanings have the same sound and in using one 1 youtseem to be abusing another. :. Arriving near the celebrated Molasses June tion, where number of Mackerels were placing a number of new cars and locomotives on the track-the object being to delude the Southern Gonfederacy into taking ride in them, it was believed the aforsaid Confectionery would speed fly be destroyed by one of those " frightful ac. |.cidsnts" without which day on any American railroad would be perfect anomaly-arrivlng there, I say, I toek an immediate survey of the appointed field of strife.
 To the inexperienced civilian eye, my boy, ev erythng seemed to be in state of chaotic of our Generals could make much worse. On all sides, my boy, I beheld Mackerel chaps marching and countermarching; falling back, re- tiring, retreatng and making retrosrade move ments Some were looking for their regiments which had become mixed with other regiments some were insanely looking for their officers, as though they did not know that the latter have resided permanently iii Washington ever since the war commenced some were making calls on others and here and there might be seen squads of Confsderacies picking tip any little things they might happen to find. j:
 Finding the General of the Mackerel Brigade lunchbs upon bottle and tumbler near me, saluted Lin, and says IT, t'
 1'' Tell me, my veteran, how is it that you per init the Southern Confectionery to meander thus within your lines !"
 The .Genera looked toleratingly at me, and says he: ,'3.'
 II have plan to entrap the Confederacy. and end this doomed rebellion at one stroks.- Do you mark that long train of army wagons down there near'my quarters
 :" Yes says nervously.
 Well, then, my nice little boy" says the General, cautiously, '" I'll tell you what my plan is. Those wagons contain the rations of cur troops It is my purpose to induce tue cslebra- ted Confederacy to capture those wagons and attempt to eat those rations. If the Confedera- cy will only do that says the General, ferccy, " it will be taken sick on the spot, and we shall capture it alive.' could not but feel shocked at this inhuman artifce, uy boy. The Southerners have inGse acted in way to forfeit all ordinary mercy, bu: still, we should abstain from any retalatory act savoring of demoniac malgnity. Our foes are at least human beings.
 Suppressing my horror, hover, I assumed practical aspect, and says l.:
 " But how are the Mackerel warriors to sub- sist, my Napoleon, if you allow :hs rations to go ?'"
 Thunder r says the General, handing me a. paper from his pocket. "They are to subsist exclusively on the enemy. Just peruse this document, which have just fulminated.'
 Taking this paper, found it to be the fol. lowing
 PROCLAMATION.
 Whereas, The matter of provisions is great expense to the United States of Amerca, be-: sides offering inducements for unexpected raids on the part of the furnishing foemen.; the Mack erel Brigade is hereby directed to live entirely upon the Southern Confederacy, eating him alive whenever found, and partaking of no other food. E The Brigade will not be permitted to take any clothing with it'on march, being required hence: forth to dress in the habiliments of captured Contederacies. :.:; We'have done with retrograde movements No more lines of retreat will be kept open, and henceforth the Mackerel Brigade is to make nothing but great captures.
 Ry:order of
 THE GENERAL OF THE MAcKEREL BRIGADE. | [Green Seal,l
 This able. document, my boy .pleased me great ly. as an evidence that the war had commeced in earnest; and though at that moment, beheld some half dozen Confederacies ransacking the tent where the General kept his mortgages, his bank account, and other Government property, felt that our foes were about to be sunmaril ? dealt with at last
 An orderly having finally given notice to the Confederacies within our lines to get to theil proper places. in order that the battle might be gin the Anatomical Cavalry, under Captain samya1e Sa-mith, made a headlong charge upon a body ot foes who were destroying bridge near the middle of the field, and succeeded ir eebAgmg themto remain there This brillian movement was the signal fora general engage ment, and regiment of Cenfederacies at once adyanced within our lines and. inquired the way to Washington. ? ::sY.s' . >f 1f' Having given them the desired information aud allowed number of other similar regi ,ments to take position between ,sthe Mackerel and the capital, the General gave orders fer. th Comic Section and the Orange County Howita CTS to fall cautiously back in order that the re mainig Confederacies might get between us an Richmond. ..*--. ..i You will perceive that by this movement, m . boy, we cut the enemy's forces completely il two, thus compellingshim to attack ps either j t front or in the rear. and giving him no choic | ofsny other operation save flank movements Our plans being sperfeo.ed, Captain: <villia' e Browu..vith company 3, regiment B s'ordere d to charge into asusodsnear'at hand, with vie to induce some recently arrived reserve Confs' - ara S;oa t, kefs, ,Ss:<;.s. ..a,.h,a at;