Bellows Falls times. [volume] (Bellows Falls, Vt.) 1856-1965, 1862-10-31
Humors of Soldier-Life.

OF Glasgow, Tor playing cards during divine
service. The account Of il is thus given
in the English journal =
"Srrgesnt commanded the soldiers at the
church, and when the parson had read the
prayers he took the text. Those who had
a bible took il out, but this soldier had nei-
ther bible nor common prayer book; bat
pulling out a pack of cards, he spread them
out before him. He first looked at one
card aud then another. The sergeant Of
the company saw him and said -
Richard, put up the cards; this is no
place for them
"'Never mind that said Richard.
"When The service was over, the consta-
BILE took Richard prisoner, and brought
him before the mayor.
"'Well,' says the mayor, 'what have you
brought the soldier here for !!
"'For playing cards in church.
"'Well, soldier, what have you to say for
yourselfT
"'Much, SIR, hope.
"'Very good; if not, will punish you
more than ever man was punished
~ have been, said the soldier, 'about
six weeks on the MAJ eh. i have neither
bible nor common prayer book. have
nothing but pack of cards. and / hope to
satisfy your worship of the purity of my
Intentions
Then spreading the cards before the
mayor, he began with the ace -
"When / see the ace it reminds me that
there is but one God.
"'When l see the deuce it reminds me
of Father and Son.
"'When | see the tray it reminds me of
Father, Son and Holy Ghost.
"'When ] see the four, it reminds me of
the four Evangelists that preached-Mat
thew, Mark, Luke, and John.
"'When | see the FIVE, it reminds me Of
the five wise virgins that trimmed their
lamps. There were ten, but five were wise
and five were foolish, and were shut out.
"'When see the six, it reminds me that
in six days the Lord made heaven and
earth.
"'When | see the seven, it reminds me
that on the seventh day God rested from
the great work he had made, and hallowed
it
"When see the eight, it reminds me
of the eight righteous persons that were
.saved when God destroyed the world, viz
Noah and his wife, his three sons and their
wives.
"'When l see the nine, 1t reminds me Of
the nine lepers that were clensed by our
: Saviour. There were nine out of ten who
: never returned thanks
"When see the ten, it reminds me ol
the Ten Commandments which God handed
, down to Moses on the tables Of stone.
"When / see the king, it reminds me O
} the Great King of Heaven, which is Goo
: Almighty.
"When / see the queen, it reminds mt
} of the Queen of Sheba who visited Solo
! mon, for she was as wise a woman as h,
was man. She brought with her fifty
boys and fifty girls all dressed in boys ap
parel, for King Solomon to tell which wer,
boys and which were girls. King Solomon
; sent for water for them to wash the girl
J washed to the elbows, and the boys to the
wrists, so King Solomon told by that
: "'Well,' said the mayor, you have giver
description of all the cards in the pack
: except one.'
|, "'What is that?'
"sThe knave,' said the mayor.
81 will give your honor a description o
that, too, if you win not be angry
al will not said the mayor, if you de
! not term me to be the knave.'
"'WelI,' said the soldier, the Creates
, knave that know of is the constable tha
brought me here
al do not know, said the mayor, IF he
is tie greatest knave, but know he is the
greatest fool
"'When count how many spots in a
pack of cards, ! find three hundred and
sixty y-fve--as many days as there are in a
year.
"sWhen count the number of cards in
pack, find there are fifty -two--the num-
Der of weeks iu year; and l find four
suits--the number Of weeks in a month.
al find there are twelve picture cards in
a pack, representing the number of months
in year; and on counting the tricks, / find
thrteen-the number of weeks In quarter.
$50 you see, sir, pack of cards serves
for bible, almanac, and common prayer
book
An Englishman travelling in Kilkenny
came TO ford and hired boat to take him
across. The water being more agiiated
than was agreeable to him, he asked the
boatman if any person was ever lost in the
passage. "Niver," replied PatI ''me broth
er was drowned here last week, but we
found him agin the mkt day"