Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1862-03-22

keep the heart young.
The more bad man sleeps the
better.
1t is glorious thing to resist
temptations but is safer to avoid them,
They call the oil regions in Penn.
sylvania Modern Grease
The only persons who are always
digniticd are those who are always
dull.
--Impossibilities, like vicious dogs,
fly before him who is not afraid of
them.
Next to acquiring good friends,
the best acquisition is that OF good
books.
The human soul, like the autumn
leaves, shoIld brighten at the approach
of death.
Now is the time to get up Gibbs
as ihe boy said when the journalists
dog chased him.
III warm and drv weather Slippers
become Il woman. niry weather wo-
men become slippers.
Surely that m1n may be envied
VIII" can eat pork chops for supper, and
sleep without grunt.
Uniform love is now defined Al the
love OF Il volunteer wh- takes care to
sport his new clothes on all occasions.
A ST ltlier in one Of the Kentucky
camps SAYS the motto with them il -
"tnitcG Ne sleep, divided we freeze"
"A ring, everybody knows, il plac.
ed upon the tingera great deal more
easily than it is taken off, especially a
wedding ring.
A gentleman whose father had
been hanged was accustomed to say Of
him: He died upon a platform 1T a
large public meeting"
The mystery OF Gods work we
do not understand let us fall back on
our faith or our hopes, AMI plans, and
systems are Frustrated.
"A lawyer on his passage from Eu-
rope observed Il shark, and asked a
sailor what 1t was, who replied "Here
we call 'cm sea lawyers"
If a soldier be found sleeping up.
on his post he is tried for negleet of
duty but if he should sleep upon four
posts at once 1t IS all right
If the price Of freedom and en-.
during nationality is hundred thous.
and victims Of battle, o wise people
will 'down With the dust"
David Fender, "popping the q,es.
tom i'll a letter, concluded thus
And should You say 'ves,' dear Mary.
| Will traly be your D Fender"
Carrying politeness to excess is
said to be raising your hat to bow to
Il young lady i'll the street, and allow
ing several dirty collars and pair Of
socks to fall out upon the sidewalk.
-"Nan proposes, but God lispeses,"
sad pi"l.s aunt to her over-coufilent
niece. LIT a man propose to me ii
he dare" WAS the response, ''and will
dispose Of him according to my own
views"
Look ont for your front tssih.-A
German journal speaks ot' !. young au-
thoresS who has distinguished herself
i'll the literary world. She is called the
Baroness dc Observation-Disclosures Pick.
A chap being asked to explain the
paradox OF how it was possible for SO
lazy q man to attain SO mach educa.
tioIl, replied: Il diin't-attain Il just
heard t-iiere-an,t-- t--there-and was
too lazy to forget"
A medical student. nnder examin.
alton, being asked the diifer.nt effects
Of heat and cold, replied: Hat ex.
panas, cold contracts" "Qaitc right;
can yon give an example p Yes,
Sir. In summer, which is hot, the
days are longer; but in winter, which
IS cold, the days are shorter
--"Can you tell me where Sir. Smith
lives, s,inisfer:' ''Smi,h-Smith-w
Smith ? there are good many Of that
name III these parts; my name is Smith.
WHY, | don't know his t'otheT name
but he's u SOAR, cross ahd Grabbed
sort of fellow, and they call him Crab
Smith oh. ! s'pose Pm the man..s
Ont OF debt every sixpepce you
get you can call your o1n! yon may
look upoE i with unallosea sensations
Of right To save or spend it. to turn Il
into any fashion or pleasure it is eqaal
To. But In debt your money is no:
yon, own. It belongs to him to whom
it is due-to him who patiently ,oiled
faT learned it.