The weekly Ottumwa courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1857-1872, 1862-04-03
BlU.rroNs.
"A STORY FoR7EvERYBoDY.


''Great Is buttons and Williston is their
maker" we exclaimed, as we examined that
gcntleman's factory at Easthampton, and
saw bones, brass, tin, paper. lasting and vel
vet, going into one end Of machines and
shot out in buttons at the other. We became
deeply interested, and being Of philosoph-
ical turn Of mind reflected on the flnal mis-
sion Of these household missives, more dam
gcrcds' to the peace ofmankind than percus-
sion caps or Minie rife balls. For we take
It that man. man per sc, the masculine, is
governed by buttons; they will keep burst
ing off snd he cannot sow them on himself;
that is woman's work, and rounds the story
OF his captivation and capture. What pos
sible chance has man, buttonless, against
willy woman and buttons? Donot the little
pearls rip off Of gloves just as we are look
ing 50 nice on entering ballroom, and win
there not be bright eyes therein to commits
crate the misfortune, and soft little white
handst to offer to repair the mischief? Grand
father Whitehead, don't you remember the
time when your rsweet wife, forty years since
in the grave, took hold Of the lappet of your
coat and said. "Oh, you've button loose !;
iet me fastep it," How dexteronsly she
put thread into her needle .nd into your
heart It sht zame time, held you tight while
she,secured the button, pulled hard on her
needle, shipped the thread, and "thafs ALL"
she saii. looking straight into your eyes, but
cunningiy knowing that in those words she
proclaimed . victory won. eThats all,'
says little Miss Mouser to Timothy Titcomb
Jr., ssishe tosses his gioye back to him after
Q stitch ortwo. The next time Tim wants
the Office performed, he knows exactly who
will do it for him. and so in good season
little Miss Mouser becomes Mrs. T. Z. Jr.,
and sews on buttons for the third generation.
Perhaps oursbaehelor friends will learn for
the first time on reading this paper, the as
toaqdips tact that the league offensive and
defensive, between Cspinstsrs and washer
women. Laundresses are enjoined to burst
Is many buttons off shirts as can be done
without losirs, custom, and we al know who
.ass y sew them on. What is the conse-
quence, desperation on the part Of unmar-
ried men, arrangements for life and snug
wardrobe. buttons and buttonholes.
2 MI Hezskiah Boggs Of Little Pumpville,
so-called to distinguish it from Great Pump
vile, about two miles of, was bachelor of
rotund proportions and comfortable estate
He &semSd hinsklf md was usually con.
sidoFsd by Others, one of the lions of Little
Pumpyille, and took great pleasure in setting
forth Ats peculiar beauties 10 strsngers.-
Many Of you have beon through it, but those
who have not viii have it in their minds
eye when informed that the sur, rises over
the valley, and sets behind the hill; that it's
four orthodox ,churchcs ore dotted at the
fou cpfnofsofits square, . that their ..can-
6ns of creed effectually guard against any
front or flank march Of herssy from any
quarter; tn at the post Office 10 within twen-
ty rods Of the "Excelsior' fireensine house;
that it's newspaper, = ",oeakly," is adjacent
to the town hall, and that the rooms or the
young mems literary association are in !
Hourishins state Of excitement, the present
subject Of discussion being whether man is
rheumatic or rutninating animal. When
We add thai - ssleotmen are alw.ys select.
cd for their iutton-headed stupidity, and
its school committee for their defiance Of
Murray's grammar, the exact locality Of the
village is described. 81.
Mr.. Boggss appearance and worldly posi-.
tfnwsrs well calculated 70 win The feminine
hart. He was Of marrisgeable age, abou,