The Lansing state Republican. [volume] (Lansing, Mich.) 1855-1874, 1862-09-10

ouS zen me, my fylaoee, has the dredging Tor
those missing regiments near Alexander proved
Captain Bob Shorty shook the mire from his
cart. and thea says he:
| Two brigades we're excavated this morning,
and are ss present building raft to go down to
Washington after aome soap. Let us not utter
complaints against the mud" continued Captain
Bob Shorty, re6ectively, 'for il has served TO
| develop the genius of New England. We dug
| out Yankee regiment from Boston first, aud the
moment those wooden nutmeg chaps got their
breath, they vent TO work al the mud that had
almoss suGocated them, mixed up some spoiled
four With II, and are nov making their eternal
fortunes By Peddpg it out for patent ce@ent."
TIE GKxERAL OF THE NAcKEKKL BRIGADE ON
NccLKLLAN.
Ii plsases NE greatly To announce, my boy,
that the General Of the Mackerel Brigade be-
| iieSes IN Mcclellan, and gorgeoSsiy defends him
against the attacks OF that portion Of the deprav
| ed press which has friends dying of old age in
| the Army OF the Potomac.
''Thunder!" says be TO Captain Bob Shorty,
stirring the oath in his tumbler With q tooth
brush. 'the way little Mac is devoting himecli to
the military squelchiug OF this here unnatural
rebellion 10 actually OuIraging his physical ma
tnre. He reviews his staff twice q day, goes
over the river every five minutes, studies inter
national Law six hours before dinner, takes sound
| ings Of the mud every lime the dew falls. and
takes % little sleep that there's Two inches OF
dust on one Of his eyebslls. Would YOU believe
it," says the General, placing q tumbler over
his nose TO keep OF fly, "his devotion Ia such
that his hair is turning gray and will probably
dye!"
| Captain Bob Shorty whistled. I do not mean
to cay that he intended TO tc musicsly satirics,
ny boy but il should hear such 4 canary bird
remark after I'd told story, somebody would SO
home with his eyes doue up IN Iainbows
TAXI or.
| "Read that erc Napolsonic docky
ment," says William, handing me scroll.
Ii vas a. follows:
| "EpIcK.-Having noticed that The press OF
| the United States Of America IL mskiag . ass OF
itself, by giving information to th. enemy con-
cernng the best method OF carrying on the
strategy Of war, l do hereby assume control Of
all special correspondents. forbidding them to
transact anything but private business; nei'her
:nsfs .%S HSi as9tn ssss ssss s:ser%oa sas 'n''
IL. It is ordered that all advice from editors TO
the War Department. To the General Command
ing, or the Generals commanding the armies in
the 6eld, be absolutely forbidden; M such nd.
vice 10 calculated to make the United States Of
America idiot.
I'll. ANY newspaper publishing sny news
whatever, however obtained, shall he excluded
frem all railroads and steamboats,, IN order that
country Journals, which receive the nc~s
during the following year, may not be- injured i,
cirky ylation.
'lII. This control OF special correspondents
does not include the correspondent OF the Lon
don 3imes, who would not be bc believed II he
published oil the news Of the next Cl,ti~iian era
'By order Of
!, WILLIAM BROWN. E,kevire.
Il captain Comic Section Brigade"
WARRIORS srkEcH.
On reaching Accomac, my boy, we found Capt
William Brown at the head OF the Comic Section
, of the Aacksrel Brigade dressed principally ia
. Q large sword and brass buttons. aud taking the
altitude Of the ssn with glass Instrument ope-
rated BY means of . bottle.
"Ah!" eays William, ''you are jus, in time 10
hear my speech to the sons of Mars, previous To
the capture Of Manassas by the United States
America"
Hereupon William mounted demijohn laid
lsngthviss, and says he:
"felIow Anacondas: Having been informed
by gentleman Who has spent two weeks at Ma
nassas, that the Southern Conf-deracy has gone
South for its health, have concluded that il is
time to be offensive. The great Anaconda, hav-
ing. having eluded Barnum, is about to move on
the enemys rear.
'''Rear Aloft your peaks, ye mounins.,
. Rear sIoft your wavee % sea-
Rear your sparkling crests, y.fpuniihFs,
For my loves come back TO me
= "The day Of inaction is pss,, aud now the
: United States Of America is about to swoop down
: like an exssperatsd eagle on the chickens left by
: the hawk. Are YOU ready, NV sagscious rep
= tiles. TO spill . drop or 90 for your soaking
. country! Are you ready to rose up as one
> man-
1.-The n red,
The wilets blue,
q Sugar 10 sweet, and
10 Bully for YOU
70 ages 70 come will look down on this day ant
D say: They died young The Present will re
ply: Il don't see it but the present is jus, th'
last thing for US to think about. Richmond ID
take il in few years:
..sIt may he for years and m.y be for ever
Then why art thou silent, y pride Of me heart,
which s poickry. hereby Divide this her
splendid army int one corpse dammee. and TAX
command Of it,"
." At the conclusion Of this thrilling oration, M
,n bov, the corpse dammes formed itself into hol
~ low square. in the centre OF which appeared
mail clad ambulance.
TuE CAPTURE OF MANASSAS.
Onward moved the magnificent pageant towar
m. the plains Of Manassas, the Anatomical Csvalr
q. being 10 advance and the Msckere Brigade 70
n. Iewisg closely after.
Arriving on the noted battle field We found d,
N. thing but scene Of desolation the rebels gone
~, the masked batteries gone and nothing lett b.
Of solitsry daughter Of the sunny South, wh
N, cursed NJ for invading the peaceful homes
I'm Virginia, and then tried to cell u. stale milk
No, six shiings quart.
hs When Captain William Brevs surveyed TIA
spectacle, my boy. his brows kit with perteI
of tious anger. and says he:
N 80 much for wasting so much time. Ah
va ssys William, clutching convul.irely at his ca'
,n. teen, I've have met the enemy, and they al
,ou hours-ahsai of as
fa. IRarYArrSg rHR sorTB
Like four and twenty thuRder steroe, the ho'
.flitzess roared together, and had not the Orsnt
~, county veterans forgotten to pat in any bal
~ there 10 reason TO believe that some vndo'
~ would have been broken. Another dschsrg
- hewever, vas more successful, a. it Knocked d
I've top o6 The chimney.
The Southern Cosfeceracy appeared at q
h. window again, aad says be:
"If you fellow. don't quis that racket do'
~. there, you'll irritase ne pretty soon-"
.'Mr. Davis" says 6smyule, 70 q
ID. Confedsrscy at the window, ''if We do not ir
tats ysu, Wiil you consent 70 be reconstructed
Wy s.Reconstructed! says the CoDfederse
Ia