Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1862-05-31
$1.5O A YEAR.
Fact, Fancy and Fun.

Fact, Fancy and Fun. ss
We give nothing SO liberally as
our advice.
The feeblest child can eclipse the
sun with wink. E : .tszI
Those only deserve monument
who do not require it. Erzsa.a
| The rebels were driven away from
Island No. 10 by Foote balls. aaf
Recipe for making pantaloons last.
Make the coat and vest first. e5srf
Though the rebel confederacy hss
lost its last ram, it is still rampant.
No ashes are lighter than those Of
incense, and few things burn cut soon
er. 80 -.-. 81. + t.. .a - "a ss -
The rebel armies. at the approach
OF our troops, take steps to avoid dan
ger.
1t is very possible to be too witty
to be earnest, and too earnest to be
witty. . .l .
when you see gray hairs in the
turkey gravy, you may be sure it is an
old bird. .s.. -. Ill
The rebel soldiers, though among
the filthlest OF living creatures, are not
hard to take. -.. -
Why is a balky horse like q gen
uine Yankee Because it is difficult
to sell him 4 second time.
Norfolk was surrendered to Gen.
Wool by Mayor Lamb. The ram Mer-
rimac was blown up. Funny.
Many writer's of verse seem to
think that the art of poetry consists in
plnnlng butterflies Oh bIotting paper.
Some descendant of Solomon has
wisely remarked that those who 90 to
law for damages are sure to get them.
How fickle the rebels are. After
protesting great admiration and regard
for the Merrimac, they give her 6lo,o-
ing up.
The rebels are cnlisting boys of
thirteen and fourteen years. Having
raised all the men they can, they have
gone to raising children.
-"There now,' cried a little girl.
while rummaging drawer in a bu-
reau, "there now, Gran'-pa has gone
to heaven without his spectacles.
Prentice says that Beaeresard ha,
consulted his army surgeons, who have
advised him that when his excavations
become bloody the case is desperate.
Experimental Philosophy-Ask.
ing young lady to marry you. Nat
ural Philosophy-Looking indifferent,
and saying you were only in fun, when
she refuses you.
My dear doctor," said lady, II
suffer great deal with my eye.." BE
patient, madam" he replied, ssyou
would probably suffer great deal
more without theln.'' l..
In the window Of shop in an oh.
scure part Of London is this announce
ment: Goods removed, messages ia.
ken, carpets beaten, and poetry com.
posed Oh any subject
Both houses of the rebel Congress
have passed resolutions recommending
that no cotton be planted this season.
Ii Cotton is king won't this utter.
rupt the line of succession ?
The rebel papers are crying aloud
against whisky as the cause Of their
distresses. The wretched body of The
conspiracy is SO foul that it capuot
even be preserved in alcohel.
The Indians on our Southern Dor.
der say OF secesh Indian, s.he goes
hot" and Of a Union IEdian, che goes
Cold" meaning that one goes South
and the other North. Expressive.
1t being reported that there is
much ungathered cotton on the coast
Of South Carolina, the Manchester Mir
ror suggests that detachment of SOL
diers be sent out there Cor pick-it duty.
TIL Montgomery Advertiser
speaks sneeringly Of "the appearance
Of Gen. Mitchell, the Yankee astreno-
mer, on the Southern theater.n He
certainly seems to be playing ''star