The Emporia news. [volume] (Emporia, Kan.) 1859-1881, 1862-07-05
WHOLE No. 246.
began to be riled.
Cant you let fellow alone ?''
care you abed?" says she.

Cant you let fellow alone 90
care you abed?" says she.
"Fam," says I.
sect up" says she.
al won't, says I.
Then another laugh.
"Get out you petticoated scarecrows,"
I cried; 'tcan't you get beau without pull
ing fellow out of bed? won't 60 home
with you-I won't; so you may clear out!''
and throwing boot at the door, felt bet
ter.
But presently, oh! mortal buttons. I
heard still, small voice, very much like
my sister Lbs, and it said:
Jack, you'll have to get up, for all the
girls things are in there"
Oh, Lord what pickle Think of me
in bed all covered over with muffs, shawls,
bonnets, cloaks, and twenty girls waiting
to get in; if had had time to think /
should have tainted on the spot; as it was,
l rolled out among the bonnetware and rib
bons in hurry. "Smash !" went the mil
linery in every direction. l had to dress
in the dark, for there was hole in the door,
and the way fumbled about was death to
straw hats.
The moment came; / opened the door.
and found myself right among the women.
ooh, my dear leghorn |" cried one.
"My dear darling little winter beaver ~
cried another: and they pitched and they
pulled, this way and that, and one bright
eyed little piece-'Sal," her name was
put her arms around my neck and kissed
me right in the mouth. Human nature
couldn't stand that, and I gave her as good
as she sent. 1t was the first time ever got
a taste, and it was powerful good. believe
l could have kissed that gal from julius
Caesar to the 4th of July.
"Jack," said she, eve are sorry to dis
turb you, but won't you see me home ?"
eyes," said I, 81 will" And I did, and
I had another smack at the gate, too.
After that took ne kinder turtle-doving
after each other; both of US sighed like a
barrel of cider, when we were away from
each other.
1t was at the close of a glorious summer
day-the sun was setting behind distant
hog-pen-and the chickens were going to
roost-the bull-frogs were commencing
their evening songs-the polly wogs in their
native mud-puddles were preparing them
selves for the shades of highland Sal and
myself sat upon an antiquated backlog, lis.
tening to the music of nsture-such as tree
toads, BOOSTERS, grunting pigs. and now and
then the mellow music of distant iackass
was waited to our ears by the gentle zeph-
ers that sighed among the mullen stalks,
and came heavily laden with the delicious
odors of hen-roosts and pig-styes. The
last lingering rays Of the setting sun, glanc-
ing from the brass buttons of solitary
horseman, shone through knot-hole in the
hog-pen, full in SAILS face. dyeing her hair
to an orange-peel hue, and showing off my
threadbare coat to bad advantage. One of
my arms was around her waist, my hand
resting on the small of her back-she was
toying with my jet-black locks of auburn
hue. She was almost gone, and I was ditto.
She looked like grasshopper dying with
the hiccups, and felt like a mudturtls
choked with Goldfish ball.
''Sal," says I, in voice az musical as
the notes of a dying swan, "wilI you have
me ?"
She turned her eyes heavenward, clasped
me by the hand, had an attack of the heaves
and blind staggers, and, with sigh that
drew her shoe strings to her throat, said
Eyes" She gave clear out and squatted in
my lap Rugged until I broke both my sus-
penders, and her breath smell Of the onions
she eat the day before.
Well, to make long story short, she sot
Ihe oay1 duo VIC pTactlceu LOT Iour weeks,
every night, how we would walk into the
room to get married, till we got so we could
walk as graceful as couple of muscovy
ducks.
The night, the company and the minister
came; the signal was given, and arm in arm
we marched through the crowded hall. We
were just entering the parlor door, when
down l went ker-slap on the oil-cloth, pull
ing Sal after me. Some cussed fellow drop
ped banana skin on the floor. and hoored
me. 1t split an awful hole in my cassi-
meres, right under my dress coat-tail. 1t
was too late to back out; SO, clapping my
hand over it, we marched in and were
spliced. Taking a seat, watched the
bride kissing operation. My groomsman
was tight, and he kissed her until got up
to take slice, when oh, horror little six
year-old imp had crawled up behind me,
and pulling my shirt through the hole in
my pants. had pinned it to the chair-and
in jumping up I displayed to the admiring
gaze of the astonished multitude a triae
more white muslin than was allowable.
I was finally put to bed, when all my
troubles ended. Good night.
Gor-~.v Nos