Cedar Falls gazette. [volume] (Cedar Falls, Iowa) 1860-1895, 1862-07-04

ITEMS.
GENERAL Mcclellan who never lost bat.
tie, is sneered at by coed many epaulstted
fellows who never found onc.-Leuiss1h
Journal. r
IT is stated that the debt of the rsbsls
amounts to $41o, 100000.
WHAT can the poor rebel Confederacy do
now-moneyle saltless, ramlcsss, hopeless,
lawless, and Goddess !-Louisvills Journal.
Ar-the battle of Port Republic the 7th Lou.
siana and 9TH Indiana were opposed At pistol
range The former left the held, having on.
ly SO men unhurt.
THE last case Of modesty is that of . lady
who discarded her lover, sea captain, be.
cause in speaking Of one Of his voyages, he
said he huggsd tho shore. ss
1t was a case Of fjealousy, NOT moaesty. !
"SoMEnotY asked Gen. Cass the other day
in Detroit: General what may we do to
save the Union ?" Anything" MAY We
abolish slavery'' abolish any thing ON the
surface Of the earth to save the nation"
Tue cold weather experienced this season.
is accounted for by the presence Of numerous
ccbergs and large quantity Of floating Ice
in the Gulf stream, off the coast. "
THE Bible says, Remember Lots wife,"
The rebels, in their rage for salt, remember
her and lust after her." So they obey one
scrptural injunction only to disobey another.
Louisville Journal. ...,' -.~.. ....svf.
"WHES can read my title clear"-''Gocd
God here is Yankeer' So sang and sx-
claimed feminine rebel in Norfolk church
last Sunday, as in the midst Of her hymn she
looked around and saw Federal officer in
the same seat.
Dickens Is bankrupt, and separated from
his wife. She obtained divorce with sixty
pounds year ali,nony. For this she brought
suit, and offered to reduce the alimony to
forty five pounds nnually-but got no mon
ey. Dickens has received oceans Of msnsy
for his writings, but II was pouring water in
to sieve. ...-.f.ass
Goop.-The Toledo Commercial gives the
following good retort -" The other day % .
number Of rebel prisoners were being shipped
at Sandusky for the traitors home on John.
sons Island, little German made himself
quite prominent with his noisy remarks about
the Secesh. One of them, a brawny six.foot-
er, turned savagely upon him and said, We
eat Dutchmen down South Wy den you
not eat Sige!I' was the instant retort. Sc
cesh had no reply to give, and passed sadly
on" sar
A sentiment Mt celebration was, Z" Mar
riages--ordained for the happiness Of man
through whose portals the bachelor will not,
can not, and dare not enter" Responded to
by bachelor, (pointing to a flng,) "The Ia
dies-our stars before marriage; our stripes
after it," '"""
A London paper asks: "Will the South
yield even in the cxtremityf' All we see OF
the Southern army is its hinder "ertremity,"
and that's yielding as fast NJ possible.
rille Union. .-.., ....
HEAVEN holds no conditional saint, and the
Union should tolerate no conditional patriot.
--Nashrille Union
"MAMMA, papa's getting very rich, isn't
hep Pm sure don't know. Why childf"
cause he gives so much money to me. Al
most every morning after breakfast, when
Sally is sweeping the parlor, he gives me
sixpcncc to go out and play" Shortly alter,
Sally received notice to quit. ss..a
Oun friend Jones has been doing homage
to pair of bright eyes, and talking tender
things by moonlight, lately. 4 few evenings
secure" Accordingly nc fell on his knees
before his fair dulcinea and made his passion
known She refused him out fiat. Jump.
ing to his feet, he informed her in choice
terms, that there was as good fish in the sea
as ever was caught. Judge Of the exasper.
alton of our worthy swain when sho coolly
replied, Yes, but they don't bite at toads |"
COMMODORE Goldsborough has on board
his flag ship, the Minnesota, a complete
printing press apparatus, by means of which
he strikes off copies of all his orders, letters
and dispatches for the seventy vessels of his
fleet, thereby economizing time and labor,
and avoiding errors urr
WANrED.-Wc wish to purchase . lot Of
uncut Confederate bonds for newspaper On.
velopes. Also, one hundred pounds Confctl.
will be given in exchange. Apply at the
counting room.--Nashrle Union. I
a new reading Of an old couplct Is thus
rendered by savage hater Of hoops aud that
style of dress which leaves too little Of We.
mans beauty to Imagination: a.
"Lo on narrow neck of land,
'Twixt two unboundcd she's stand"
/ A London medical journal states the Case
Of a man who lived whole year after his
back bone was broken. We mention this a.
an encouragement and consolation to the
Southern Confcderacy.-Lou. Journal
Ir must DO happy thought to lover that
his blood and that Of his sweetheart minglc
perhaps in the same MOSQUITO.
WHEN tho rebels fight, they soon got out
Of wind. When they talk, their wind 10 In
cxhaustable. Louisville journal.
TIE most miserable pettifogging in the
world is that Of man in the court ef his
own conscience.
FEMININE headache! A fcticions disease,
by which women seek to conceal their heart.
ache.
Toll and trial are grim schoolmastersS but
flush Of hope can make them beautiful even
as sunbeam the rude mountain frost.
IT is told Of Connecticut field officer, bet.
ter acquainted with farming than soldering,
that when circumstances placed him in coma
mand Of a regiment at Hatteras, and wishing
| to Oblique his column in marching order, he