The Democratic press. (Eaton, Preble County, Ohio) 1860-1865, 1862-07-03
Letter from Major Jack Downing.
WASHINGTON, June Is, 1862.

OURS We DeS1 klHueT blCh beHCo
I writ you last. The truth is this
clymate in the spring is raely very
weaknin to- the constitushin. Lin
kin, too, has been terribully anxus
about war moose, and the nigh ap-
proach of hot weather. But the
great subieck which the Kernel
and l have been considerin, is the
''contrybands." What is to be
done with 'em? That's the ques-,
tion, and Linkin ses he would like
to see the feler that can tell him.
One mite Linkin got big map, an
he sot down, and Now ses he,
Major, let's take a look at all crea-
shin, an see eff ther amt sum place
whar we kin send these pesky
kinkv heds, and get rid of 'em,'
'Wal,' ses l, Kernel, I'm agreed
First Linkin put his finger on
Haty. Now ses he, 'thar's an
Hand that jest suits the nigger
constitushin. Suppose they go
thar?' But ses |, Kernel, they
wont go, an eff they did, they
wouldn't do nothin.' 'Wal,' ses
he, mo mater, eff they wont trouble
us here emmy longer
But ses |, theirs one more re-
sin. The iland aint large enuf to
hold all the niggers-four millions
or thereabouts.' WAL ses he,
theirs Central Ameriky-what do
you think of that spot? WAL
ses 1, Kernel, that's fine country,
materially. The Creator fixed it
up on grand slkale, but you can't
make q treaty with it emmy more
than you can count the spots on a
little pig, when he keeps runnin
about the hull time. The truth is,
you can't tell who'll be President
of it from one mornin to the next,
and the niggers you send ther
might all git their throats cut jest
as soon as they landed wal,
ses Linkin, that's slight object
shin. But let's turn over to Afri-
ky. Theirs Libery, how would
that do, Major?' WAL ses l,
Kernel, that country is about the
biggest humbug of the hull lot
Fust off, sum rally good peepul
thought it was goin to amount to
sumthin, but after forty years
spendin money on it, ther aint en-
ny more chanst Of civiizin Afriky
in that way than ther is Of maxim
rihed cannon out of Eastwood
log. A few dominys, who can't
find emmy boldly willin to hear 'em
preach, hev got hold of it, an are
maxim a good thing out of it. AS
for sending our niggers ther, why
it would take all the shippin of
the world, and more money than
Chase could print by steam in
year. WAL ses Linkin, 'whar on
earth kin we send 'em.'
Now ses |, T've got an idee of
my own about that matter. l think
they are best off wher they are,
and jest as they are, but if you
must get rid of 'em, 1 would send
'em all to Massa- -chews-its ! Peepul
who are so anxrs to have other
folks overrun with free neggvrs.
ought to be willin to share some OF
the blessins themselves. So let all
that are here in Washington be
sent rite off to Boston, 'Yes, that
might do,' says Linkin, 'but then,
eff they are entitled to their free
dom, they orter be allowed to 60
where they are a mind to-"
But ses I, sum states won't
have 'em al all, and they can't go
there. So, what's to be done p
WAL ses Linkin, 'I'll tell your
what it is, Major, this is an almity
tuff subjcc. | know sumthin' a
bout splittin rails, and what work
is, generally, but this niger ques
ton has puzzled me more than
emmy thing 1 ever got hold of
before WAL ses 1, Kernel, l
can explain the resin why Ses
he, Lets hear you, Major 'We!,'
ses I, Kernel, where do you carry
your pockit book?' Ses he, what
On arth has that to do with the
subject Ses l, 'hold on, you'll
see.' 'Wal, ses he, Il always carry
it there, in my right hand trowsers
pocket Ses l, didn't you never
have a hole in that pocket for
day or two and have to put it in
sum other?' Ses he, Major, l
have Ses I. 'what did you do
with it then?' 'Wal,' ses he, Il
put it in my left hand pocket, but
it kinder chafed my leg there,
cause it warn't used to it, and it
also felt nifty onhandy. So 1 put
it in my side cote pocket, but evry
time l stopped over it would drop
out. Then I put it in my cote tail
pocket, but l was kept all the time
on the qui viverS, afeerd some pick
pocket would steal it. At last, in
order to make it safe and sure, !
put it the top of my hat under sum
papers, but the hat was top heavy,
and over it went, spilling every
thing I tell you'll was glad when