davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1862-01-25

OYSTERS AND THEIR AGEs--A Lon
don oySterman can tell the ages Of his
flock to a nicely. The age of All oys-
ter is not to be found out by looking
into his month it bears its years upon
its back. Everybody who has handled
an ovstrr-shell must have observed
that it seemed as if composed of Sue
cessive layers or plates overlapping
each other. These are technically
termed "shoots," and each Of them
marks years growth; SO that, by
counting them, we can determine at a
glance the year when the creature came
into the world. Up to the time Of its
maturity, the shoots are regular and
successive; bnt after that time they
become Irregular, and are piled one
over the other so that tie shelf be-
comes more and more thickened and
bulky. Judging from the great thick
necs to which some 0ysteFsbells have
attained, this nlolluSe is capable. if left
to its natural changes unmolested, Of
attaining a great age.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1862-01-25

a POWERFUL H1NT.-TEe Elitor of
the Angelica Reporter nudgeS deIin-
qucnt subscribers in the following
Christmas article
Notwithstanding our subscribers
have made no effort to furnish us with
the means to make ourselves merry on
Christmas Day, yet, SO far are we
from being unthoughtfnl Of them, that
we take this opportunity of wishing
them all u real ''merry Christmas" :"
and authorize every single one Of them
Indebted to us, to treat himself to q
glass Of wine, at our expense, anl we
will make it all right when they come
to settle. Now this is no small mat
ter There are about eight hundred
deIinquents Oh our books, and if they
all pledge us i'll glass Of wine ut ur
expense, we shall have to balance up
about .forty-eight dollars on our books.
But, gentlemen, You won't pay us, so
treat yourselves, with our money, from
your own pockets, and if your con
sciences will permit you to be happy,
you have our best wishes. SO "ner-
~ Christmas to You all".
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1862-01-25

THE SCHo IL MISTRESS AT II ,Mfs.-
Ny dear boy" said "a kind hearted
country schonltniSteresS to an unusually
promising scholar. whose qn,rter WAS
bout up-'mv dear boy, does vouI
father design that You should tread
the intricate an | til ,rnv path Of tn.
professions, the straight and narrow
NAY of the ministry, or revel amid the
ti"wcry field of literature % '.No
marm,' replied the Juvenile pro tigv,
'>,lal says he's going to set me to work
i'll the tater patch"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1862-01-25
A Daring Exploit.

Among the many Instances where
de- bravery OF cur officers and men
have shown conspicuous, the one we
copy from the Boston Gazette is almost
unequalled
Captain Spencer, aid to Gen. Wool,
received information from two ladies,
who went from Norfolk to Fortress
Monroe with flag of truce, that near
midnight a siX-oared boat was to leave
Norfolk for Richmond. with money for
the payment Of the rebel soldiers. He
requested permission of Major Gene
raj Wool to attelapt their capture, and
was told not to place too much conf
dence III the information received
Nevertheless, permission WAS given,
and selecting two good oars men on
whom he could rely, with their oars
mntfled, he started at dark and await
ing the coming Of the enemy's boat.
IL had previously given directions to
his mrh To pull directly for the boat,
ali on the moment OF striking, to
"back water" instantly.
About midnight the boat was heard
pproaching, and taking his station in
the bows, with nine inch she'll in hand,
he gave the order to give way" The
moment his bows struck the rebel
boat, he threw the shell into the rn,,
die Of ii, and was himself drawn back,
luc XII y receiving no injury from the ex-
4 Il,
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1862-01-25

A MARRIAGE Done FoR.-An i'll ma
turel fellow qlarrrled with his sweet
heart on the day they were to be mar
rled. After the ceremony ha d begun,
and he WAS asked, "Do YOU take this
woman to be Your wedd ID wife, &c.
He replied NO"
What's your. reason % asked the
minister
Il have taken a dislike to her, and
that's enough" was the surly Y reply.
The parties retired the bride in
tears--and after much persuasion, the
groom WAS induced to have the mar
rlage proceed. But now was the lady'S
turn, ard when the minister asked her
the all important question, "No!" re-
piled she rcsolutely. 'sTve taken dis
like to him.
The groom, admired her spunk,
made the matter up with her as soon
rs possible, and third time they pre-
scented themselves before the minister.
He began the ceremony by asking the
usual questions, which were Satistac-
torIl Y answered this timp But to the
aStonishment Of the party, his rever-
cnce continued:
"WelI, I'm glad to hear that you
will take each other for husband AND
wife, for it is good thing to be of for
giving tempers. You can now 90 and
get married where you ~ill--I'll not
tie the knot, I've taken a dislike to both
of vou."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1862-01-25
Thirty Thousand Dollars for a Dwarf.

Commodoro Nntt, The diminutivo
hero Of Manchester, H. f., Is At last
engaged tor three wears to Mr. Bar
mum, for exhibition ut his Museum =
The notices few days ago in the va
rious city papers of the Commodore,
seem to have awakened rivalry
among the showmcn to get possession
Of the Prince Of the Lillyputs, and
Barnnm, as usual, has Come out ahead
With the prize in his vest pocket. The
Commodore, it will be remembered, is
the person Of whom Gen. Tom Thumb
remarked, patronizingly, as he looked
down upon in a al ignitied manner, con
Scious Of his own superiority "Cnm-
modorc, you're certainly hard Mutt
to crack" The first correspondence
addressed to the dwarf's father by Il
Snowman was as f.lIows:
"FLoREScE HOTEL, n. Y, Jan. 8.
"71 NJor Nut, Manchester, ". II.
SIR Il am one Of the late firm of
II yves & Gushing, who chartered Il
ship expressly t, take our great Amer
lean Circu< to England five years ago.
We performed before her ma irst,,
Q leen Victoria, AMI the royal family
on several occasions, and have met
with the most triumphant success
throughout Great Rrltian. Having
just read y description OF your little
son, George Washington Mutt, and
being assured it is correct, wish to
engage him to go to London for the
Great Exhibition next year, anl to
continue the engagement several years.
| will give you five thousand dollars
per year for him, besides paying ex-
pcnScs.
fyou don't accept my Offer, please
don't engage him to other parties till |
see YOU. | leave for Manche> ter next
Monday. Your obedicnt scrv't,
JOSEPH CUsHING.'
Barnum, however, had no intention
of letting such 4 prize slip throngl, his
fingers, as will be seen by the following
note TO his AGENT :
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1862-01-25

- The Rev. Dr. Ctfeeser fretnred
iii Washington on Friday evening last,
on the justice an's necessity OF imne-
diate military emancipation, and l. re-
ported to- Lalve maintained that slavery
WAS annihiIated by the act Of rebel
lion that the Government could only
crush the rebellion by conquering the
reh@t states and reducing. them To ser
ritorieS that our 4rsIeieS acere onty CSs
q police force, to guard the ghost OF an
institution that has had no exiStance
under our Government; that loyal slave
States were delaying the progress OF
our arms more rs friends than they
could as open enemies; that we should
arm the slaves and proclaim, if not by
the President, then by an act Of Con
gress, the freedom of every individual
in the land who yields allegiance to the
country.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1862-01-25

A Coop, HEARTY DaSUyCGATioN
OF GREAT BRIrIAS.-rhc Pilot, the
organ Of the Irish in Boston, in an
article upon the hlaSon and SIidell de-
mand Of Great Rrtian, thus ''pitehes
in'' to the fast anchored isle :"
"Britian is the detested of nations.
The powers of the earth would attend
her funeral with exultaton. May we
all 1--we so see that procession And
what tnmult Of deep curses, maIedjc
ti0ns and eXccrationS would rise split
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1862-01-25
eDs

y GREAT CALF.-Sir VIM. 3, being
at u parish meeting, nude some propo-
sails which were objected to bv Il far
nser. Highly enraged, he sail to the
tarmer,-''Sir," do you know that |
have been to two univerS tiles -
"Nell, Sir" said the farmer, t'what Of
that I had calf that sucked two
COWS, ard the observation [ made was,
the more he sucked, the greater calf he
grew
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1862-01-25
--zH eSS 9"

A Stock JoKE.-At the Board of
Brokers the other afternoon, an cx-
cited individual who probably had rot
been very successful, suddenly startled
his friends by ext7hsiming
''Efi: ha,} not been fnr that confounf-
e,f muSs up rear the City Hall Park,
this afternoon, we should have had a
better market"
"AEu>s, ma>S-what mpSs 2" they
most anxiou>ly dcmsnled surprising,
probably, thst Fernando Wood had
hoi~ted the 'stsrs AMI bars" and been
sent tn Fort Lafayette for it.
Why the HiPpopota-mns OF
course" was the cruel rel joinder.--N Y.
Tribune.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1862-01-25
-~- e~s0

Poetry IS sail to be the flower
Of literature prose is the corn. potatoes
anl meat SATIRE is the aqul-torti~; wit
is the spice and pepper; Lore letters
are the honey and sugar: letters con
tanning remittances are the apple-drmp-
lings.-Erchaage.
We are excessively fond Of the lat
ter,
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1862-01-25

~ They tell good story Of one Of
our country con>ta5lcS who was di
rected to serve an execution f. WIS
told that the property consisted of three
heiteIs, an,l aft"r taking charge Of the
same he must endorse Il return desert
bin.s the property. With view to be
entirely correct, and not finding ''all
heiftrs," he specified a, follows L
went to level on the heferS butt they
wunt awl hefers onely wun was A shee
hefer the ether wBs moody bull and
the other was bully mule
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1862-01-25
A Few SANITARY SUGGESTIONS.

A FEW SANITARY SUGGESTIONS =
"Never,' pursues Halls Journal of
Health, ''neyer sit for more than five
minutes at time with the back again
at the fire or stove"
This is a good rule, and should be
observed by all persons except those
who have neither fires nor stoves
Persons who are so fortunate as to
possess these articles, would do well
to avoid sitting on them for longer
time than that specified above.
Upor. skates the Journal Of Health
is particularly strong. ''If the ther-
mometer is below thirty" it says, "and
the wind is blowing, no lady or child
should be skating."
We don't know about this. IF the
lady is "below thirtv," and good look
ing, let her skate, thermometer or 9th.
erwise. If she is the reverse, let her
slide
The same authority has an intense
and we'll regulated objection to fresh
air. ''In going into colder air." it
says 'keep the mouth resolutely closed,
that by compelling the air to pass cir
cautiously through the nose ami heal,
1t may become warmed before it reach
es the lungs" Also, after skating, YOU
are to walk home, or at least half Il
mile. with your mouth closed"
The above direction is well meant,
but incomplete, inasmuch as it does
not contain any clause respecting the
lennth Of the nose.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1862-01-25
New y DIRK, Jan. IL.

AN1- " i OIRI<l . W.T.
:" To Major Rodaia Nut
"Nlll give $4,000 for Commodore
Mutt three Years.
JUNE, HOWE, Quick & Co."
The miniature Mutt Is an honorary
member of the Governors Guard and
Anoskeag Veterans Of bis native
town. Mr. Barnum is now initiating
him into the mysteries of public Life,
antS in the course of i few weeks ire
will appear 1T the American Museum
" Y. World
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1862-02-18
"The mOrta: boats left here yesterday

the mortar boats left here yesterday
morning
''Lat-r.-A gentleman who left Fort
Doueison yesterday afternoon, at 3 O'Clock
and reached here this noon, says the fight
had been going on all day gailantly. and
the right wing Of the enen.y's Notifications
had been taken and the Union flag was
floating over them.
The Forces were brens, to breast and the
fight was IN be resumed.
Capt. Vie, of the steamer Minehaha,
reports that the enemy made surtie from
the f,'rt at 10 O'Clock yesterday morning,
al drove cur forces back three quarters OF
a DIl-, aud captured Schwartss battery
Al O'Clock eur troops rallied. recaptuTed
the battery. and drove the rebels before
ihcni. and planted cur flag on the outer
! fertilization
"A steamer from EansviIl. brings 6
report that Tour Of nur c,l ,uels were killed
/ yesterday Afternoon, ,iinct. them Col. Johr
/ 4 Logan, OF Hin IS. Tie MINES of tn,
/ others ure not asrcrtaiued."
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1862-02-18
FORT DoxELsON TAKEN
$4,000 Prisoners.
10000 REBELS BILLED AND
OTEDED.

Cairo. Feb. II.
Frt D1nelsnn was surrendered 10y the
rebe!s n Sunday. uncouditi. Lally.
THE fli,rrs and m,n IA the i,rt--an az
my OF h.tesn thousand traitprs-are tow
urisouers in our ha,.d>, including Gems.
Pillow, Buckuer and johnson.
Our troops are n pursuit Of Floyd and
other fleeing rebels, and will probably ov-
ert; ke and capture them.
This great ictory will give us Tennes-
see. Within week the I'D Star Spanglsd
Banner will float ever Memphis. Nashville
and Knoxville. The back of the rebellion
Is broken. The Union is saved ard the H.
inoIs boys are entIu-d to the chief share oi
the glory.
G Carroll Harsh. Of the Goth linois,
( formerly of tie Chicago Light Guard, wa,
male Briradier un the field, ior exhibl.
! tions OF desperate valnr.
/ private dispatch reports Gen. Grant
wounied severaliy bur not fatally
! Our tronPs fought with Il degree of bra
very thai has never been exceiied. There
/ are heavy losses IN XII ed and wounded
/ but siic numbers and names are not ye. re.
/ ported.
Frt Dpnelsnn. Fell. ia n.
Johnson, P,i!o% and Bucknrr are all Ia
ken yris"nerS when Floyd fled ,he r-b
els ia the Fort denounced him u u black
! hearted traitor aEd coward
The enemy were knawu to have had 30,
/ 600 Is coo q. whom are our prisoners
/ 5000 escaped, aud the balance are said I.
be Killed and wounded Oar l,ss is az
stated, but In tcTTiily severe
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1862-02-18
Thc News from Fora Doucrson

By the latest dispatches, it will be seen
that Fort D nelson is ours
After three days of desperate fighting,
with terrible slaughter on both sides, the
rebels were captured. 1t was the most
sanguinary conflict ever witnessed on this
continent. The unparalleled bravery dis
played by cur troops on the occasion. viii
forever silence the toasts Of the "chval~
rous" South. We apprehepd, after this
that they viii consider the muscle and
courage Of Northern men at least equal to
that Of the Sou.herners.
The soctory is one Of momentuous inn
portance II gives US complete possession
Of the Tennessee and Cumberland rivers,
and will redeem Kentucky and perhaps
Tennessee from the clutches Of the seces.
fionisis.
But the victory, as brilliant as is, has
beer Purchased at vast sacrifice of blood.
Many Of our brave soldiers have farer.-
And among the number, we learn, rs the
gallant Cul. Erwin, Of this city. 1t is said
he fell al 'he head Of the glorious Twen,ieti
in reFeIIing the rebel assault upon Taylor's
battery.
We all have friends in Gen Grants com
mand, and he suspense will be painful
until lists Of the killed and wounded shall
/ be received.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1862-02-18
CONGRESS EaVAE..
Washington. Feb. 6

asbiugtnn. Feb. o.
SESATE.-Nr. Wilkiu-cu. uf MINI. re-
ported 81 I'll lr,m TIE C mmrs>l,l,er ,,e a.
dian AB,irs. turb'eding The sole rf spirit
uaus liqnars Of every k,na to lnd,aus al any
price Passed
The fertilization bill WAS taken up
Sherman's amrudmcnt on q substitute for
the bill was disagreed to The bill was
then passed ~ asa,d>t Il.
The Treasury note biil was then taken
up.
Mr.. Sherman objected to the amendment
10 the Treasury N1te hill, prnviding Cor
dep sit. a. it would tend To- prevent th0ir
exchange INTO bonds. and DO great harm
MF. kirE moved to reduce the per cent
! age u one per cent Rejected
The amendment providing for deposit
At FIVE per cent was rejected.
The amendment setting apart the pro
ceedS nf the puhhc lands ani conGscated
property and duties n imports, for the in
tercst of the debt in b. njs and notes and
for sinking fund, was adopted.
Several other verbal amendments of the
Committee were adn2ted.
NJ. Fes,enden, Of Name. moved t. a.
mend the fist section, ~ d. t. make the
bonds redesmahle at pleasure IN Eve years.
/ instead Of twenty, and payable in twenty
years.
Mr Sherman opposed the ana n,iInpu.. a.
tending to deITec,ais the chaIacIer Of the
hnrG-
Adj urued.
H"UsE.-Mr Hickmnn. # Ps.. from tie
judiciary Committee ofJered n preamble
srttlrg i"rth that Henry WIknG having
Transmitted portion Of the President
last annual message for publication 10 the
NrW York Herald hefrre it was laid be-
tore C':grPs~, and having refused to state
h"iHre the committee from whom he re-
ceived II. therefore resolved hat thu Ser
g"a't II Arms hri#s The sand Henry Wiku #
before the bar If the House TO answer fr
c""temi.t. The res lotion was I'D ,Jtcd
The civil ard u,l-ct laueous aprrou;ia.
ito" b'ii 49, ra.A.d
The Sergeant ALARMS brought Henry
"ikuf before the bar of the House Tor
CONTEMPT IN refusing to answer questions
of the Judiciary Committee
Mr.. Hickman "ffered a resolution tina,
Wlkoff be beld in clase custody ill be
purge himself of contempt, or he discharc>
Ell by order OF the House Adopted
Wlkuf was taken into custody.
Tie House adjourned
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1862-02-18
From the South
Fortress Nonr,. Il

ucu io"r"e, Feb. Il
Norfolk and Richmond paper. 49,. %
the les ri X '"noke Island 70 the bS,Iniu.
ing 'netieiency of the navy ~ T1,uudsr-
persist IN asserting that / 0Oo ~, 'iIl
were killed. They also charge sou r. q
ote Island farmers with desert;D Oms kasn.
lotins the Yankees to the only n <, and Ih
they could effect landin,: rJint Nh.f.
landing being fanked On ali siS ID i'gpl,,
A dispatch from Memphi. ia v
admits that the Federal Fac -, 7" NOrialt
on the Tennessee River by he n a. eias''sa
asserts that the F3derals neirhe1f Sue s. and
destroyed any private propeltT ~. 10,
cctitn ~ Tot eve,
Gov. Letcher has issued an tra..
formation OF Home Guard, for the he s 'ot Ii.
0: Norfolk. Petersburg. and R;a he Delete.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1862-02-18
Supporting the Government.

Ehe Republicans boast vgcifei ousIy o!
the support Of which they are giving the
Government but somehow or other. when
It mes to the scratch, they are generally
found il the back ground, excepting in the
receipt and Disbursement Of the public funds
amongst themselves and their favorites.-
Hitherto the Democrats have done most Of
the EsaJng. and uren them deyoIyes the
dgty If rescu'ng the Government from it's
present PERL us condition.
Even il cur constitutional convention,
there was a proof Of what We have alleged
evinced the other day.
A loading Democrat, Mr.. Singleton,
offered an ordinance making treasury notes
receivable for taxes. Every avowed Re
publican in the convention voted agairs.
the measure and it was lost. II the Re,
pubilcnns had stood by Mr. Singleton and
his Democratic assCciats in this patriotic
move, it would have been adopted, and
treasury notes would have been as good a.
gold ami silver in the State.
Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1862-02-18
The ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

This body has been in session several
weeks. and, as far as we can see, its delib-
CREATIONS have been marked by high re-.
gard for the interests and rights Of the peo-
pie. =
Il Is true the Abolition disnnion press
haze assailed it. ana are trying all manner
# means to deterioate i;s proceedings and
discredit Its euactmeuts, but they will find
it 70 easy task TO accomplish their purpose.
Tie people Of ILLINOIS know what they are
about.
Last fall they elected representatives. for
the purpose Of revising and adopting a
FUNDAMENTAL law fur the government OF the
S.ate The people. according to our inst
tutions are subordinate emily to God; aud
there is 10 more sull,me power On earth
than that which a constitutional convention
is authorized to exercise.
The act of forming constitution is the
most important aud solemn OF all political
acts, and it is satisfaction to know that
are worthy of beiog entrusted with the exc
cution OF the Important duty Of framing al
organie law and that the faith Of major
ity Of its members is based on the fun
damental principles Of Democracy.
/ TIE disuniou Aboiitionists are particu-
lSrly indignant at the convention becaus
it has refused to sustain their doctrines
/ They vaiuly hoped that the emancipation
policy would be adopted. As soon as
was discovered that the convention woul
not give aid and comport to the party upol
which rests the responsibility of forcing u
into eur national troubles the cess pools 0
Republican corruption were orened. ard n
epithet is too mean for the lrckiess Demo
crats whom the people have sent to Spring
Geld to represent their interests aud main
tain their rights.
But as the convention has decided, b
unanimous vote, to submit the result {
tAeie deliberations to the people for spprc
val or rejection, there is no necessity fc
the cutlery on the part Of our opponeuti
unless they are afraid Of the decision
that tribunal. If the convention were I
20 IN aud adopt constitution witho,
submitting it 10 the vote Of the people, Z
it has the right and power to do, the
might there be grounds for the abuse tn,
is being heaped upon the dominant TART
10 that body The constitution will |
the work Of The people, before it takes e
/ feet; and be"oe this war upon the CONVEX
: ton Is entirtly out Of place.