Sioux City register. [volume] (Sioux City, Iowa) 1858-1871, 1862-05-24
From the New York Sun lay Mercury.l
0RPHEUS G. KERR'S LETTERS.

There is certain something about
sick room, my boy, that makes me think
seriously of my latter end, and recognize
! physicians as the true heroes of the battle
! field. The subdued swearing of the suf.
ferer on his bed, the muiIled tread of the
venerable nurse, as she comes into the
room to make sure that the brandy recon-
mended by the doctor is not too mild for
the patient, the sepulchral shout of the
regimental cat as she recogn zas the tread
of the Lord Monitor, the sergean.s bull
terrier, outside; all these are things to
make tho spectator remember that we nre
bu: dust, and to return to dust is our
destiny.
Early in the week, my boy, noble
member Of the Pennsylvania Mud larks
was made sick in a very strange manner.
A draft of picked men from certain reg-
ments was ordered for a pcriI"us expedI-
ton down the river, You may DC aware,
my boy, that draft is always dangerous
| to delicate constitutions and, us the Mud
lark happened to burst into a protuse per.
! spiration about the time ne found himself
! standing in this draft, he. Of course, took
such a violent cold that he had to be put
! to bed directly went to see him, ny
boy, and while he was relating to ne some
affecting anecdotes OF the t,me when he
used to keep bar, a member Of the Med,
ical Staff OF the United States of America
came in to see the patient.
This venerable surgeon first deposited
large saw, Ratchet and two pick axes on
the table, and then says he:
" How do you fad yourself, boy?'
The Mudlarh took a small chew of to-
bacco with mtlancholly air, and says he;
" think I've got the guitar in my head,
Mr. Sawbones, and am about to join the
angel choir"
~ see how it is says the surgeon,
thonghtfnlly; "you think you've got the
guitar, when i,s only the drum cf your
ear that is effected. Well" says the sur.
eeon, with sudden peasan,ness, as he
reac ned at'er h's saw and one ct the pick
axes must "mpl'ate Your lett leg at
once. once"
lhe Mud ,Iara curIcI himself up IN bed
like a wounded anaconda aud says he
cah see II IN That lSht.
We'll, says the surgeon, in spr'ght'
iy manner, then suppose put liy 5lis-
ter on your stomach, and only amputate
your right arm
The Surgeon was formerly blacksmith,
my boy, and Eot his dp'oma by inventlag
some pills with iron IN them. lie proved
that tn blood OF siS healthy men contained
| IRON enough to make SIX horse shoes, aud
then nvcnted the pulls to cure hoarseness.
The SICK chap reflected on what his
medlca. ADVISER had SAID. and then Gays he:
" our words convince me that my stu
alton must be dangerous. | must see
some relative before permit myself to be
dtssectcd.
~ HON would you wish me to send
| tor Z says the surgeon.
My grandmother, my dear Old grand.
mother, says the mud lark, with much
feeling.
The Surgeon took me cautiously aside,
aud says he:
my po"r patient has cold in his head,
and his life depends, perhaps, on the graft
fica'ioa OF his wishes. You have heard
him ask for his grandmother" says the
| surgeon, sgttiy, aud as bis grandmother
lives too far away to Send for, We must
practice little harmless deception. We
must send Tor Secretary Wrlles, of the
Navy Department. an! introduce him rs
the grandmother. My patient will never
know The difference.
took the hint, my boy, and went after
the Secretary. but the latter was so busy
examining model of Noah's Ark that he
could not be seen. Happily. however, the
patent recovered whie the surgeon was
getting his saw i'ed, and was well enough
last night to reconnoitre IN force.
The Mackerol Brigade being still in
rfa inI,, y / 1..1