The Jeffersonian Democrat. [volume] (Chardon, Ohio) 1854-1865, 1862-09-19
Night in a Sleeping Car.

ern ralIrOn0s IL ls very curious eXDcri-
encp. To the old traveller such journey ia
full of incidents. Accustomed to the trim
between Philadelphia and Washington, /
nevor mado it without gathering material
for amusement aud reflection. Tho best
course is to secure full iOwer berth, about
30 minutes before the rush begins, and
from your roost you can, unobserved, hear
and see many odd sights. The conductor is
a constantly perplexed parsonage. He is
scolded. questioned and importuned bv
turns. He must explain, apologize and OK.
postulate. In this melee it is marvellous
how he preserves his temper.
"Mr. Conductor" saws o breathless pas
senger, who has just got in by tho New York
line. "giVo mo sleeping place"
Have you ticket. sir ?"
"Yes, have my through ticket"
"Sorry air, but you must have a sleeping
ticket. You can get it at the office in the sta
ton house, but you must hurry up or you
will lose your chance"
And away goes the passenger. with about
ten chances to ono of being too late.
Il have takon places for two," says soft.
spoken, handsome young fellow with blush
ing woman on his arm.
"Yes, sir" said the polite master Of cero-
monies, "the lady can sleep below, and you
in the upper BERTH"
But sho is my wife. and cannot sleep
alone or with anybody but me-"
"Sorry. my dear sir, but our rules are ab.
sosute-I can put another lady with her."
But she is my wife. tell you," indig-
nantly responds the gentleman.
81 do not doubt you, sir, but I do not
know it, and to avoid trouble we have made
an absolute rule to keep ladies and gon.
tlemen separate"
And there is no remedy but to submit, or
throw up their tickets and take another car.
Frequently family entors-mothcr, father,
nurse, baby. The same struggle ensues on
the temporary divorce of husband and wife;
but the dispute is still more readily recon-
ciled, and the par ties pile in. After while
the matron gently asks:
"Are you comfortable, Augustus, my
dcar ?"
Perfectly" is tho smothered ropIy from
an upper tier.
DO cover up your throat. dearest, yon
know you are not Welfare your feet warm
"All right" gasps the husband like man
on tho top of hay loft.
"Jane, what's tho matter with the baby
Cant you keep him quiet Bless me he's
choking. Hand him over to me;' and
hear fqualling package passed over to the
kind mother, who very soon smothes it to
rest.
Enters fat man. weighing about three
hundred Avoirdupo:s. Conductor, where
is my borth 7"
"You have bat one ticket, and will please
got in alongside of this gentleman = who
happens to DO dolicate dandy, imm sdiately
above me on tho second shelf, and who
rains down upon me perfect shower of
mingled perfume. The heavy passenger
gets up and in. after q struggle, 10 which /
participate to the extent of seeing a hugo
pair of legs, like twin anacondas, hanging
before me, and series of angry growls and
grunts; and When the mass settles on the
slender wicket bed, it shakes the whole
vicinity. and leaves mo in doubt whether it
can hang suspended, or will fall and crush
me.
God bless me, SIR" says the exquisite,
but you are a very large man-you have
pinned mo to the wall-I shall suffocate."
Can; help it, sir, paid for my ticket
and intend to get my moneys worth"
Imagine tho fat ones sleep, and snorc,
and sweat, and the miseries of the nice
young gentleman. Some inexperienced
travellers unboOt and uncoat themselves
which is always mistake. Bundle in as
you are" this is the true theory of a sloep-
ing ear. At last We are disposed of. The
whistle sounds, the engine shrieks; the bell
tolls; and the great train plunges into the
outer darkness. A voice opposite;
"Heavens, how hot it is. Conductor,
there is no air. Open the door"
~ object" shouts a consumptive Con.
gresham 81 am not we'll and don't mean
to contract another cold"
Another voice Charlie, pass me the
flask ! and then hear a gurgling sound,
and presently perceive an aroma of Cognac
which exctes two persons of various opin-
ions little in advance.
stranger, said the FIRST pass me your
flask, and l will return tho compliment
when We reach Willardb which can hear
is being very promptly done.
What disgrace it is, says the protesting
temperance man, shat this place should be
turned into a rBmmy.'
BY Jove,' cried the owner of the flask,
hero is Cough, the great lecturer-have
smile my eloquent friend ? at which there
is general laugh, and the consequent sub
sdence Of the heroic opponent of Bacchus.
Before the sleepers finally adjust their
hard pillows, gather up their scanty COW
ering, and ascertain whether their bed fell
flows, if they have any, are friends or foes,
some nice soliloquies and dialogues take
place among those who have not accustomed
themselves to this method of transportation.
At this moment heard dulcet tones in
the secret end of the car.
Conductor, draw the curtain while I de-
scend from my berth to take tho air.