Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1862-08-16
Fact, Fancy and Fun.
Rulers WELD the people, but school
masters WELD rulers.

-Rulers WELD the people, but school
masters WELD rulers.
Who is the greatest digger
i'll the world? The doctor.
-Ir fight, take your friends part;
at a feast, let him have it himself.
May Judge who retlres from the
bench be said to lay dor,e the laec2
Tho Federals are very pushing
people, especially with the bayonet.
-Matrimony is game that every
young person should take hand at.
The chap who looked his destiny
In the face was put out of countenance.
When are two potatoes precisely
alike? When they are pared (pairedj.
Don't confide your secrets to an
inordinate laugher--he might "split.'
Women often 90 to the destruction
Of their husbands fortunes by buy
ways.
The wild boar is one of the most
dreaded animals in nature-except the
tame bore.
"A poor searnstress finds it hard
work to thread her way through life's
wilderness.
If young woman's disposition is
guhpowder, the sparks should be kept
away from her.
Fortune may favor fools; but that's
poor reason why you should make
fool of yourself: ..... ... .... ..
Within the circle of the wedding
ring, and that Of the pugilist's ring.
there is world of fight.
-"Union is not always strength" as
the sailor SAID when he saw the purser
mixing his rum and water.
"A flush Of hope renders toll and
trial beautiful, as the sunbeam gives a
sparkle to the winters frost
We know little of the literature Of
Tunis or Algiers, but there are great
many fine books in Morocco.
"A poor fellow sometimes drives
ostentatlously pair of grays, when he
IS driven by score Of duns.
When a man makes his wife a
handsome present, it is sign that they
have been quarreling recently.
"a man can't help what has been
done behind his back as the scamp
said when he was kicked out of doors.
Why is Neptune like a person
looking for the philosophers stone q
Because he's (a) soaking what never
existed.
The lions Of the forest are said to-
live a century. The lions of fashiona-
BILE society are generally lions of only
a season.
The law is a pretty bird, and has
charming wings. 'Twould be quite a
bird Of paradise, if 1t didn't carry such
terrible bill.
Young ladies, if the young men in
these perllous times wait to be pressed
into the service, let them never press
you into their service.
"A patriotic lady, in Grand Rapids,
has consented to let the board of her
IN-ohOh' iA'A OIi, III Ctot luCY
volunteer for the war.
"A speaker at one of the anniver-
sary meetings in Boston, referring to
His Satanic Majesty, styled him ssthe
original Jefferson Davis"
"A man swallowed a set of teeth
lately, and at the last accounts of him
he was experiencing, as was to be ex-
pected, a terrible knawing at the stom-
ach.
"A large portion Of the swamps of
Florida are said to be capable of pro-
duclng five hundred bushels of frogs
to the acre, with alligators enough for
fencing.
An absent wife is thus advertised
for: 'Jane, your absence will ruin all.
Think of the children, your husband,
your parents. Return, return; all may
be we'll. At any rate, return the key
of the cupboard where the gin is.''