Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1862-05-28
PRENTICEANA.

Lieut.. Worden, of the Monitor, can Mt pre-
sent see with only one eye, but ne can see
more with that one than any rebel Commodore,
Csptsiu. or Lieutenant can with q pair. If the
rebels see him coming with one eye shut, they
will be sure to run, thinking he is taking aim
at them.
Recent disaster has spread gloom over the |
land and sorrow sits at our hearthstenes.-JeF /
DartS's Proclamation.
An1 yet our rebels here pretend that all the |
accounts Of Federal victories are fables, and |
that the Confederate forces are sweeping every
thing before them.
No cup Of coffee was ever better settled thsn
the rebellion will be when Gen. Hslleok shall
have struck it one grand blow.
The rebel cities and towns are falling like
row Of bricks.
The rebellion, like huge tree, was masy
years in attaining its growth, but ii has been
chopped down and will die suddenly.
The rebels should not be allowed to destroy
their sugar. But let them ''crush" it If they
choose.
We trust that our Government will soon
have iron steamers that will mind cannon balls
as little as Rabelais's Giant Psntagruel did,
who, after great battle, cembed them out of
his hair.
Let our brave soldiers ''fx bayonet" and
then fx the rebels.
Gen. Mcclellan has done what nobody was
ever able to do before-silenced some very
noisy members Of Congress.
One half Of the rebels are "given over to be-
Geve lie" and the other to tell it.
There are great many remedies for a sore
throat We are no physicians, but We would
suggest to our rebel friends that running
away is the best preventive of an apprehended
misery Of the throat.
Most writers think that peaceable occupa-
ton is better than the life of soldier, but we
have seldom known a more "peaceable occu-
patton" than that Of Norfolk and Portsmouth
by our troops.
Our military authorities have organized
several regiments of sharpshooters to shoot the
rebels, and they ought to organize as many
regiments Of fast m nners TO catch them.
We say to our brave boys near Corinth, give
the rebels the bayonet. If they don't like the
cold steel, warm it by fricti against their
ribs.
The rebels are in the habit of standing
bravsly as long as they think there is more
safety in standing than running.
Gen. Mcclellan says that he will drive the
rebels to the wall. But can he drive them to
the ditch-that last one?
good many rebels, who talk volubly about
fighting before there was any danger, turn out
10 be towards Their legs run as fast now as
their tongues did then.
When our forces took possession Of New Or
leans, the people there had been 50 long with
out seeing gold that they didn't at first know
what on earth it was when they did see it.
The Mobile Register tries to crow like a
game-cock in anticipation of the Federal at
tack upon that city. But the noise it makes is
much more like the scream Of dying hen.
All sorts OF horses in Tennessee and the
Southern part Of Kentucky have lately become
Morgan horses"
Though the rebel confederacy has lost its
last ram, it is still rampant.
The Montgomery (AIa) Advertiser speaks
the Yankee astronomer, on the Southern thea
ter" He certainly seems to be playing a
''star engagement
The rebel soldiers, though among the filth
est Of living creatures, are not hard to take.
We have about made up our minds to accept
an invitation to deliver Fourth Of July ora
ten in Richmond. President Lincoln and his
Cabinet, we are told, will occupy places upon
the platform.
coupIs Of correspondents, Mr.. Virgins
AID Mr.. BALDWIN write Us joint letter, ask
ing Us to give them ''less Prentice and more
news Well, we are not news, to be sure,
but then we are always new.
The Richmond Inquirer computes that 1t will
take Gen. Mcclellan 30 years to get to that
city. We guess that Mcclellan will soon cor
rect the Inquirer's arithmetic.
Our rebels, who swear there is no Constitu-
tion, beg US, the moment they think themselves
in danger, to respeet that sacred instrument
the Constitution.
correspondent asks whether the Federal
anaconda belongs to the army or the navy. y
They own him in common. He is q joint-snake
The rebels are turning their attention now
less to the production Of cotton than to pork
King Cotton is dethroned by King Hog.
The reb eIlion doesn't make good times, bu
the rebels certainly ''make good time"
The Chinese, after a long period Of we
weather, when they have prayed vainly fol
relief, put their gods out in the rain TO see how
they like il. For similar reason, the rebels
would do well to cut of the market-supplies O
their public functionaries for few days.
The Mobile Register asks Indignantly who
ther the men Of the South "are to be compel
sa to submit to the laws Of the Union" Ne
If they will submit without compulsion.
When our troops arrived at Norfolk, the.
found bacon selling at so cents pound anC
candles at 6O-dog-cheap, considering tn
value Of the paper given in payment.
The slaves in the rebel States are undoubt
edly running away very fast, but not half s.
fast as their masters.
All parrots can be taught TO talk, but tn
ones that talk with most emphasis are tn
Parrot guns.
Coin AT PIrIsBUEG LANDIKG.-A citizen Of 81