Daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1865, 1862-04-28
4alIg gnteIIlaRnfet.
WOMENOF Tur WAR.

There's chap in the MRckeEel Brigade
who got very melancholy one day after re-
.eeiEing letter from homey wherein he WAS
aHectionately called "a unnatural and VII
ctous creetur,H for not sending his better
half q new dress and some hair-pins. See
ing his Addiction, and diviuing its cause,
another Mackerel stepped up TO him, and
lit is the old woman which is on a
tRre n ~.
The married chap groaued and says he:
'tShe's mad as hornet. do believe
says the married chap, turning very pale,
that she'll take away Iny night key,
and teach my babea to call me lhe Old
File"
"Well," says the comforting Mackerel,
"theu why did you get married? Why
didn't yOu stay a single bachelor like me,
and enjoy the pursuit OF happiness in The
Fire Department."
."Happiness !" says the married chap.
.'why it was expressly 10 enjoy happiness
that welded. Step This way" says the
ing his CONSIDER aside, saint the women OF
America mortal"
Yes" says the MackereI, though;tully.
'.Ahd don't they die q
ayes" says the MAckerel THAT is to
say" added the Mack5tel, contemplatively,
they sometimes die when there's new and
expensive tombstones in fashion,"
Peter Perkins? ?" says the married chap,
with a smile Of wild bliss, al wouldn't miss
tue happiness ! shall feel when nv angel
returns TO her naive hevings, for the sake
OF being twenty bachelors. No. says the
married chap, clutching his bosom, ave
lived on the thought of that air bliss ever
since the morning my female Partner threw
HN,FNVr lN L. -.
and broEghtiu the police because Lbrougbt
a valuable tatrier home wi,il me. Here
the married chap uncoFcked his cauteen,
Rpd eyed it With speeChIess fury.
Tears came to the eyes of the unwOman-
tie Aaekerel; be extended his hand, and,
says he:
Say no more, Bobby-say no more. II
you amt got the cOrreck idea OF Heaven
there's no such place on the map"
give you this touching conversation
between two of natures nobiemen, nv boy,
that you may appreciate that beautiful dis
Pensation of Providence which endows NO.
man With the slighter failings of humanity,
yet gives her the power to brighten the
mind Ofiaferior man with glorious visions
Of JOY beyond the grave
Ny arm has been strengthened in This
war, my boy, by the inspiration of woman's
courage, and aided by her almost nieacu-
lous foresight,--ouly yesterday, a fair girl
OF forty-three summers, thoughtfully sent
tne box, continuing two gross of assorted
hsh- hooks, three c0Ok-books, one dozen of
Tubbses best spool cotton, three door.
piates, package of patent geranium roots,
two yards of Brussels, carpet, Rumford's
illustrated work on Perpetual Into1ication.
ten boItleE OF furniture polish, aud some
wall P"Per Accompanying these articles
so valuable to soldier on the march, was
"A note, in which the kind hearted girl said
that the things were intended for our sick
and wounded troops, end were the volun-
tusy tributes ofCA loyal aud dreamy souled
woman. 1 tried a dose of the furniture
polish, my boy, on a chap that bad tho
measles, and he has felt SO much like a sofa
ever since, that a coroner jury will sit on
him tomorrow.
The remainder of this susceptible you ng
creatures note, my boy, was calculated to
move 9 heart OF stone. She asked if il
hurt much TO be killed, and said she should
thiak the President might sue jeff. Davis.
or commit habeas corpus or some other
ridiculous thing, to stop this dreadful,
ePlrlt-agonising war. She said that her
deepest heart-thrObs and dream yearnings
We're for tue crtmsOu-cOnsecrnled Union,
and that she had laYished her most hnr.
n.
She, said that she had a friend named
smith, in the army, md wished could
md him out, and tell him that the human.
heArt, though rePining ut the absence Of
the beloved object, may be cOldly proud as
sc9rntui statnte to the strangers eve, bnt
pines ike sonl-murdered water-liIy ON
the lovely stream of its twilight broodinp
cOntempIatiOns.
Anxious to Oblige her. my boy, asked
the General of tue MackereI brigade if
he knew Hfsoldter Of the name of Smith.
he: "a. -
Not one. There7are many of the name
OF Sa NTH, says tue. General, screening
his eyes from the sun with bottle. s.anJ
the Smythes are pamerous; but the Smiths
all died as soon as the Prince of Wales
came TO this country" =
This is an age of great aristoeracy. NV
boy, aud tue name of Smith is confined to
t0mb-stones. I once knew chap named
Hobbs who made knobs, and had II part
ner named Dobbs; and he never could get
married until he changed his title; for what
sensitive and acknowledgement female
would marry man whose business card
read, ''TEy Hobbs & Dobbs' Knobs7p Fl
nal!y, he called himself De Hobbs, and
welded a Miss POdger-prOuounced Po-
:A11SA tuH1S uS CUT nls partner, Or
deTed his friends to cease calling him
Jack, aud in compliance with the wishes of
his wite's family, got out business card
like this. Jacques De Hobbs, try his
Door persuaders.' -
But, to return to the women Of Amer
lea; there was one "f them came out to
camp not long ago, my buy, with six Sara
toga Trunks full of moral reading for our
tDops1f She was distributing the cheer
ful wOfl Gmong the veterans. whom She
who had just got his rati5ns, aud was
swearing audibly at the collection of
Wild beasts he had found in one of his
biscuits. -
Young man, says she, in avfnogar