Dodgeville chronicle. [volume] (Dodgeville, Wis.) 1862-current, 1862-11-06
The Draft in Baldinsville.

BY ARTEMUs WARD, THE SNOWMAN.
If | am drafted shall resign.
Deeply grateful for the unexpected
honor thus conferred upon me, | shall
feel compelled to resign the position in
favor of some more worthy person
Modesty is what ails me- That's what's
KEEP me under.
[ meanter- say, | shall have to resign
if I'm drafted everywheres I've been
inrold. y
| must now, Cor instuns, be inroled in
upards of 200 different towns If I'd
kept on travelin / should hav eventooae
! ly became Brigade, in which case /
could hey held meetin' snd elected
myself a Brigadeer Ginral unanimiss.
! | hadn't no idea there was so many Of
mo before. But serisly concluded to
stop exhibitin, and made tracks for
Baldinsville
My only daughter threw herself onto
my boosum, and said, It's me, fayther,
thank the gods |
boHG 1CdOlo CuC LCuSCi.
Tip us yer bunsh Of fives, old faker 7
said Artemus, Jr. He reads the Clip
per.
My wife was to the sowin' circle. I
know she and the wimin folk was hayin
Il pleasant time slanderin' the females of
the other sowin circle, (Which likewise
met that afternoon, and was doubtless
enjoying themselves ekally we'll in SLAM
derin the fust-named circle an | didn' t
send for her. | allus like to see people
injoy themselves. II,
My townsmen was soft o demoralized.
There was aseveident' desine to ewad the
Draft, as | obsarved with sorrer, as pat
ritism was below ParAand Mar, too
II A jew desprit / hadn't no sooner
sat down on the piazzy Of the tavoqn
than | saw sixteen solitary hossmen,
ridin' four abreast, wendin their way
up the Street
WHAT'S them! Is it cavalry?
That, said the landlord, is the stage,
Sixteen able bodied citizens hay lately
bot the stage line tween here and
Scootsberg. That's them They re
stage drivers Stage drivers is exempt.
saw that each stage-driver carried a
letter in his left hand
The mail is heavy to-day said the
landlord. Ginrally they don't have
more half dozen letter tween 'em.
To-day they got one apiece Bile my
lights and liver 7
And the passengers?
There amt any skacely, nowadays,
said the landlord, and what few there
is, very much perfer to walk, the road is
so rough.
And how is it with you? I inquired
Of the editor Of the Bugle-horn Of Lib
erty, who sot near ne.
4 can't go, he sed, shakin' his head
in wise way. '0odinarly | should de-
light to wade in gore, but my bleedin'
country bids me stay at home. It is i'm
peritiyely necessary that I remain here,
| for the purpus Of annoucin' from week
to week that our Gov'ment is about to
take vigorous measures to put down the
rebellion. a
Istrolled into the village oyster saloon,
where | found Dr. Schwazey, a leadn'
citizen, in state of mind which showed
that he'd bin histin in more'n his share
o pizen.
Hello old Beeswaxr he bellered ;
how's your grandmams? When you
goin to feed your stuffed animals ?
What's the matter with the eminent
physician /? [ pleasantly inquired.
This, said he; this is what's the
matter. Tn a habitooal drunkard I
I'm exempt
This is a specimen of how things was
goin in my place of residence.
A few was true blue. The school
master was among EN- He greeted
me warmly He said I was welkin to
those shores. He said [ had a massive
mind. It was gratifyin, he said, to see
that great intelleck stalkin' in their
midst onct more. [ have before had
occasion to notice this schoolmastcr.-
He is evidently young man Of far more
than ordinary talents.
The schoolmastor proposed we should
git up mass meetin'. The meetin'
was largely attended We held it in
the open air, round roarin' bonfire
The schoolmaster was the first oretor.
He's pretty good on the speak. He also
writes we'll. his composition bein' seldom
marred by ingrammatticism. He said
this inactivity surprised him. What
do you expect will come of this kind OF
doin's? Mill fit
Hocrah for Nihil | interrupted
'Fellowcitizens, let's give three cheers
for Mill, the man who fit.
The schoolmaster turned little red,
but repeated-'Nihi1 fit.
Exactly, said l. Mill .ft. lie
wasn't a strategy feller.
Our venerable friend, said the school