Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1862-11-20
Odds md Ends.

UPWARDS OF 200 Collectors, Deputy,
Collectors, Assessors, and Assistant AS
SCISSORS are now engaged in the collection
Of Internal Revenue in the loyal States.
liz the Michigan Senate there isl tie.
sixteen Unionists and sixteen Republi-
cans being elected. In the House, as far
as returns have been received, the Union
lists elect thirty eight members and the
Radicals iorty seven, with fifteen to hear
from.
A correspondent from the war SAYS
"Our soldiers are charmed every night
with the lays Of the nightingale" We
will bet that they would be good deal
more charmed with the lovs of hen.
MAsY Of the Kentucky rebels have been
heartessly robbed by John Morgan, and
ye. :hey feel compelled to praise him
without stint. They remind one of the
/ jockey, who whilst showing off a FLY
/ that he wished to sell, received from the
animal a severe kick in the ribs. Though
half dead with pain, he exclaimed, with
a smile, pretty playful creature I"
A Young lady who had been invited
to two places of amusement for the same
evening was sitting in country church,
thinking over which invitation to accept
and which to reject. She had just come
to the conclusion, and saw with her
minds eye the disappointed swain turn
away, when the minister, who was dis
cuursing the sinners. uttered these words:
"If you do not accept the invitation,
whore will you go to ?" "Where ?" ex-
claimed the young lady. "Why, I'll go
to the shuckin' with Bill Smith p'
THERE is no day SO deli shtful as the
daythat is useful; and no week is SO like
ly to pass so serenly as the week whose
first day is doubly hallowed By true de-
votion and benefcience.
"THE complexion Of my ladies brow
is as the milk in yonder pitcher" said
Simpkins a. the table. "Yes, and got as
much chalk on it," growled Cynicus.
A pig lately walked into tailor's shop
at Bangor Maine, and before he was no.
tced by the proprietor made his way to
the cutting board-attracted doubtless,
by the smell of cabbage" in that locali-
ty.
a German girl writing from the south
ern part of the State says that white
girls will soon be out Of places there, as
all who want help are hiring blacks at
fifty cents per week. The irrepressible
negro must be provided for, and the poll
icy will soon he developed to the salts
faction Of the rich and the injury Of the
poor.
Il say Sambo were you ever intoxica-
ted?" "No julius, neber; was you?"
"Well, was Sambo." Didn't it make
you feel good, Julius?" "Yah! but, golly,
next morning l thought mp head was
woodshed, and all the niggers in Christ
endom were splitting wood in it,"
"No man," says Mrs. Partington,
"was better calculated to judge of pork
than my poor husband was; when he was
living man, he knew what good hogs
were for he had been brought up among
'em from his childhood"
GROUND arms don't mean ground in
mill to powder. A picket is not ina
fence. When man is an officer of the
day, it doesn't mean that he is a civilian
at night. Present arms is quite different
from giving your hand in marriage. A
countermarch is not shop parade.
81 DON'T believe its any use to vaccin-
nate for the small pox," said backw oods
Keutuckian "for had child vaccinna-
ted, and in less than a week after he fell
out of the window and was killed"
SOME one blamed Mr.. March for chang
ing his mind. "Weil," said he, "that is
the difference between a man and a jack
ass; the .iackass can't change his mind,
and man can-it's a human privilege"
A certain lawyer had his portrait taken
in his favorite attitude-standing with his
hand in his pocket. His friends and cli-
ents went to see it, and everybody ex-
claimed, "Oh, how like it is the very
picture Of him!" An old farmer howev-
er discented, Don't you see said he. she
has got his hand in his own pocket ?
T would be as like again if he had it in
somebody elses."