, 1862-06-05

The Earl of Oxford, in reply to an application
made to him by the secretary Of the Norwich Bible
Society, to take the chair at their meeting, wrote
as follows:
Sir: am surprised and annoyed at the con-
tents Of your letter. surprised, because my we'll
known character should have exempted nc from
such an application; and annoyed because it
Obliges me to have communication with you.
have long been addicted to the gaming table,
have lately taken to the turE-I fear frequently
blaspheme- never distributed religious tracts
All this was well known to you and your society !;
notwithstanding which you think me ct person
for your president God forgive your hypocrisy
would rather live in the land of sinners than with
such saints. l am, sir, &C.,
(Signed) OXFORD.
An honest sinner, but better Christian than
the members of the Norwich Bible Society.
An army surgeon many years ago related the
following remember one day, in making my
hospital rounds patient just arrived presented
me an amputated forearm, and in doing so could
scarcely refrain from q broad Iaugh-the litter
was constantly on his face. "What Is the matter
this does not strikeme as subject Of laughter"
at is not, doctor but, excuse me, lost my
arm in so funnya way that I still laugh whenever
look at it. Our first sergeant wanted shaving,
and got me to attend him, as / am q corporal.
We went together in front Of his tent; had lath-
ered him, took him by the nose, and was just ap-
plying the razor when a cannon ball came, aud
that was the last saw Of his heed and my arm.
Excuse me, doctor, for laughing so, but never
saw such thing before"
A young city clerk who felt inclined for trip
to the seaside called upon friend.
Hal, my dear boy" said he, am OF for my
holiday, and l find I'm q trife short lend me q
ten will your"
Hal, after pause, which apparently included a
mental examination Of his financial condition, re-
piled: Well-Phil-to tell you the truth-I do
not feel-disposed- present-to make any
permanent investments"
"Can body eat with these thingss" asked an
elderly lady who was handling o pair Of artificial
plates Of teeth in dental Office and admiring the
huency with which the dentist described them.
any dear madam" responded the dent st, mas
tication can be performed by them with facility
scarcely excelled by Nature herself"
"Yes, know" replied the lady; "but can q
body eat with en-"
"What object do you now sce?" asked the
doctor.
Hesitating for few moments, the young man
finally replied: 1T appears like jackasS, doctor.
but rather think its your shadow"
Never break your neck to bow at all to sweet
sixteen" with HOunced dress who Is ashamed Of
her Old-fashioned mother; or 10 q strutting cole
gian who is Mortified at his grandhthcr's bad
grammar.
Some one told Jerrold that George Robins, the
auctiOneer, was dead "and, Of course" added the
gentleman. his business will 60 to the devil
"Oh, then he'll get il again,' said the wit
The following is 4 true copy Of bill rendered
by carpenter TO farmer:
"TO hanging two barn doors and myself seven
hours, one dollar and half"
Whose best works are most trampIed upon :
A shOeniAker's; becauSe good shoes last longer
than bad ones.
The men play cricket in the fields. A woman
plays cricket when she sings chceryat tbc hearth-
stone.