Urbana union. [volume] (Urbana, Ohio) 1862-1872, 1862-07-23
GIL Sorts of 6uuA 8eaOing.
A FOraging Party in Virginia.

There IS such rich humor in everything
that Orpheus C. Kerr-of the N. Y. Sunday
Mercurv-writes that we cannot help giving
the following exaggerated Illustration OF Vir-
ginia " conservatism from his pen ]
Upon quittingth the Strawberry Festival Ire
turned pest haste again to Paris, where I ar
rived inst in time to start with Captain Bob
Shortly and company from the Comic Sec
ton of the Mackerel Brigade on foraging ex-
pedition. We went to look up few straw
beds for the feeding of the AHatomical Caval-
ry horses. my boy, and the conservative Ken
lucky chap went along to see that we did not
violate the constitution nor the rights ofman.
"It's my opinion comrade," says Captain
Bob Shortly, as we started out--"it's my
opinion, my Union ranger, that this here IN
natural war is getting worked down to a very
fine point, when we can't go out for an arm
ful of forage without taking the constitution
long on an ass. al think, says Captain Bob
Shortly, that the constitution is as much out
Of place here as a set Of fancy harness would
be in drove Of wild buffaloes."
Can such be the case, my boy-can such
be thecase2 Then did our revolutionary fore
fathers live in vain.
Having moved along in gorgeous cavalcade
until about noon, we stopped at the house of
first Family of Virginia who were just 60
ing to dinner. Captain Bob Shortly ordered
the Mackerels to stack arms and draw can
teens in the front door-yard, and then we en-
tered the domicil and saluted the domestic
mess meeting in the dining-room.
ave come sir," says Bob, addressing the
venerable and high-minded chivalry, at the
head of the table, "to ask you if you have
any old straw beds that you don't want, that
could be used for the cavalry Of the Urited
States of America"
The chivalry only paused lorg enough to
throw a couple of pie plates at US, and then
says he:
Are you accursed abolitionists 2"
The conservative Kentucky chap stepped
hastily forward, and says he:
"No, my dear sir, we're the conservative
element"
The chivalry's venerable wife, who was a
female Southern Confederacy, leaned back a
little in her chair, so that her little son could
see to throw tea-cup at me; and says she
"You amt Tribune reporters-be you p
We were all noes and no ayes Quite a
feature in social intercourse, my boy.
The aged chivalry caused three fresh chairs
to be placed at the table, and having failed to
discharge the following piece which he had
pointed at Captain Bob Shortly, by reason Of
dampness in the cap, he waved US to seats.
and says he:
"Sit down, poor hirelings of a goriIy des-
pot, and learn what it is to taste the hospital
itv OF a southern gentleman. You are Lin
coin hordes," says the chivaIry shaking his
white LOCKS, and have come to butcher the
Southern Confederacy; but the southern gen
demen knows how to be courteous, even to
a vandal toe.
Here the chivalry switched out acane which
he had concealed behind him, and made a blow
at Captain Bob Shortly.
"see here" gays Bob, Indignantly, "I'Il
be"
HushP' says the conservative Kentucky
chap, agitatedly, "don't irriiate the old patri-
arch, or the future amicable reconstruction ol
the Union will be out Of the question. He is
naturally little provoked just now, says the
Kentucky chap. sOothiDgly, "but We must
show him that We are his friends