Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1862-12-13
How the Deacon was Sold"

HOW tne Deacon was o0lu.
Sid and "Old Lines started ont just be-
fore Christmas for shooting match-more
common few years ago than now. They
had but one gun between them, and they
agreed to use "jintly,' as Captain Cutie
would say. Well, they got TO the place where
the shooting-match was to come off, and ha'!
a few shots each, without any return for the
money cxpended--either because the chick
ems were too far of, or the cider brandy the,
had imbibcd, prevented them from gcttn~
good sight at the game. They were deter
mined to have some poultry for Christmas
some way or other, either by fair means or
foul, even if they had to blaze away at the
tenants of some OF the numerous tarn-ya:is
they passed-though that was dangerous and
might be expensive business. After once
more refreshing themselves, bright idea pre-
scented itself to the mind of Old Lines, where
upon he said TO his companion: sid, have
it,"
Sid was n little startled by The abrupt re-
mark but he was courageous enough TO ASK !:
"Whcrc is i, -
"Whcrc! never you mind, Sid; youknow
old Deacon Holly keeps a tavern about two
miles from here. Let's so and try some Of
his poultry"
Now the reason old Holly was called dca
con- was because he mixed so many hard
wort,s-sometimcs called profanc-in his
every day speech, that his ncighbors, and tn
ircuuentcrs of his tavern, declared him cn;
tied to the appcllation. Sid agreed to thu
proposal of his friend, and after arranging
who should carry the gun, and who the an
munition and provisions, (the latter mostly il
a wooden bottle, common in those days,) they
started for the 'dcacons.' They were jolly
companions at all times, but the frequent tip
ping the wooden bottle, made them more jolly
than usual. and henthey got to the 'doacon's,
they felt as ifthcy had been going up hill all
the way; but Lines had not disclosed his pro-
iect to Sid, and Sid was not disposed to ask
any more questions than was necessary, in
their present state of fatigue. Finally, just
before they reached the house, Lines says,
"Sid load your gun, and load her well !"
Sid olcyed orders, and put in Il good charge
of powder, and a charge of buck-shot, and an
nounced himself all ready.
"Now let me load her." said Lines.
"What for 2" said Sid, 81 tell you shes
already loaded"
Sid handed him the gun, and he pnt in
about the same quantity of powder and shot.
"Now, Sid, mind you, when you get to the
Deacon's, you ask him how much he will
charge YOU for a shot at his flock of poultry,
and let you have all you kill. I know the
old ct,ss he thinks more of his chickens and
turkeys than he does of the rest of his family,
aud OF course he won't let you shoot. Never
you mind we hain't got any game today, and
we must have some for Christmas. II he re-
fuses to let You fire, we will go into the bar.
room and have little 'red-eye,' and Ill man.
age him. You stand your gun in the corner,
careleYsly, and after we have had our 'swig.
you 60 out into the yard for nh observation"
Sid could not appreciate tho joke that he
knew was to come, although he felt that it was
coming for old Lines seldom failed.
The deacon met them at the door, not
very common occurrence for him at that time
of day, and cordially greeted them.
A drink all round made them congcnial,
when Sid commenced his negotiations, as in
structcd by his superior, and finally offered
the deacon three shillings for shot at the
poultry. The deacon felt indignant-in-
suited; he wouM not have his poultry fired
at for twenty-five dollars, and he would shoot
any man that would do it. Those chickens
and those turkeys he was fatting for Christ
mas, and he would not have one of them killed
before that time for any amount of money.
During the conversation, Sid stood his gun
up carclessly in one conner, walked to the
bar, emptied his glass, and suddenly walked
out at the door. Lines saw him go, in.imat-
ing to the deacon that the last few drops in
that glass were too much for Sid, and he
would play trick upon him.
Pointing to the gun, he said TO his host
deacon, sce here, Ill draw the charge ont
or tliat'cre gun, and when he comes in, you
make a bargain with him for a shot. that's all. u
"All right, old fellow; give us your hand. u
says the deacon.
"A joke is a joke" says Lines.
"Tue that's so you're right there" replied
the deacon and Lines went to work and with
drew a heavy charge Of buckshot and pow.
der from Sid's gun, and set it back in the cor
ner, in the same position as he found it, at the
same time giving significant nod to the
deacon, as much rs to echo all right" The
host treated Lines on the strength Of the joke
and he had jus. emptied his glass as Sid
came in, who, aware that Lines was one ahead
~. >, lf'as-, 'ooi ~ Ii .un a. !.