The Bedford gazette. [volume] (Bedford, Pa.) 1805-current, 1862-06-06

eg-Many man who is proud to be quarter
master, has wife at home who is whole mas
| ter.
| eSIn this world no good is unalloyed, and
there is little evil that has not in it some seed Of
what is good.
e9-Some women take such delight in scold-
| ing that it would be cruel not to give them oc-
casion for it.
ezy-A number of cases of hydrophobia are
reported to have occurred, recently, in GRAVY
ford county.
eT'Why is man paying his note Of hand
like father going to see his childrens Because
! he meets his responsibilities
e5-The powerof sympathy on children is aw-
full. No one can do anything with them, who
does not know how to awaken it.
sS-The fellow who kissed the face of Nature,
says it didn't tast half as well as the lips of his
lady friend.
c5"To pray together, in whatever tongue or
ritual, is the most tender brotherhood Of hope
and sympathy that men can contract in this
life.
GyImagination should be modest and reti-
ring like the heart, emotions extorted from it
are always less forcible than those that spring
spontaneously.
e7rLadies, prepare an extreme change of hab-
it! for the Paris correspondent says the ladies
are coming out without hoops, bustles, wadding,
or anything else!
s5-A gentleman who had scoldiugw wife, in an
swer to an inquiry after her health, said she
waspretty well, only subject at times toa" break
ing out at the mouth"
fEThe United States Government is feeding
at least twenty-five thousand negroes daily, at
cost of about ten thousand dollars per day
Letters from Hilton Head. a
eS~The farmers in some parts of this 6tate
are entering extensively into the culture of the
Chinese Sugar Cane. 1t is said to pay twice
the profits of wheat.
e. FCoasolatory-sI am afraid you will come
to want" said an old lady to ayoung geptIe-
man. W
"Ive come to want, already" he replied, 81
want your daughter"
rS-1Irs. Harrington says 1T Is u tr1umv1rasu
and confederate shame for the Cabinet people
at Washington to permit our men of war on
the Pertumic to hug that Mary Land Shore 80
much.
rAre you near sighted, Miss 7" said an inn
pertinent fellow to young lady that did not
choose to recognize him. eyes at this distance
l can hardly tell whether you are pig or a
puppy"
f5-In literature, as in morals, there are
certain taste and grace, which confer dignity
on moderate requirements and there are O
negligence an grossness that disgust, even
when accompanied with incontestable superb
ority
r5-It is said that among ''the prizes cap
tured by the Federal soldiers at Fort DoneI-
son was rifle worth 81 1000. Its breach is
inlad with the finest gold. 1t belonged to
hotel keeper in Memphis, and was won by him
at q horse race"
ss-An Irish gir| called at the post office the
other day and inquired for letters After ask
ing the name, the clerk proceeded to look for
her letter, but not being successful in finding it,
asked if the name was on the list of returned
letters. "No faith," answered she; ssbut know
it's there, for I put it in more than week ago
and now want to take it out to add something
to it, sure"
ing an eccentric preacher.
''Do you believe the story of the fatted
calf9"
eyes, said the preacher.
''Well, then was it a male or female calf that
was killeda"
ga female" replied the divine,
elbow do you know that ?'
"Because, docking the interrogator in the
faoo \ r tba ,nola oI.,,r. o,,l
ing"
eJ-STRoNe ARGUMENT rs. STRONG BUTTER
why is it my son, that when you drop your
bread and butter it is always the butter side
downY
Il don't know. It hadn't orter, had it,
The strongest side ought to be up, and this is
the strongest butter have ever seen.'
Hush up; it is some of your aunt's churn-
ing
did she churn itl the great lazy thing.
'What, your aunt = Ue -
NO, this here butter. To make the pd6r old
woman churn it, when it is strong enough to
churn ITSELF
Hush, Zeb, I've eat great deal worse in the
most aristocratic houses
well people of rank ought to eat it,
why people of rankr
Cause it's rank butter'
you yarmint, you! what makes you talk so
smart =
Cause the butter has taken the skin off my
tongue
'Zeb, don't liel I can't throw away the but
ter
I'll tell You what I would do with it,--Keep
It to draw blisters. You ought to see the flies
keel over as soon as they touch it.'
'Zeb don't aggregate J. but here is qnar-
ter, go to the store and buy pound OF fresh
butter