The daily Evansville journal. (Evansville, Ind.) 1862-1863, 1862-09-02
A Foraging Party in Virginia." Con
Servatism and COnciIiati0n."

conservatism. h1od7 gkrf -si-l34
Upon quitting the strawberry festival,
/; l returned post haste again to Paris,
where | arrived Just in time to start with
Capt. Bob Shorty and a company from
the Comic. Section of the Mackerela Brig
ade on foraging expedition. We went
to look up few straw beds for the feed
ing of the Anatomical Cavalry Horses,
my boy, and the conservative Kentucky
chap went along to see that we did not
violate the Constitution nor the rights of
man. .l..s -- ts.r o4
=" It's my opinion, comrade, says Cap
tain Bob Shorty, as we started out, ats
my opinion, my Union Ranger, that this
unnatural war is getting worked down to
very small point, when we can't go out
for an armful of forage without taking
! the Constitution along on an ass. /
think" says Capt Bob Shorty, "that the
Constitution is as much out of place here
as set of fancy harness would be in q
drove of wild buffaloes" ss ai
Can such be the case, my boy-can
such be the case? Then did our revolu-
tionary forefathers live in vain.
Having moved along in gorgeous cav
alcade till about noon, we stopped at the
house of First Family of Virginia, who
were just going to dinner. Captain Bob
/ Shortly ordered the Mackerels to stack
arms and draw canteens in the front door
yard, and then we entered the domicil,
and saluted the domestic mass meeting
in the dining room. .1 li9
eve come, sir," said Bob, addressing
the venerable and high-minded chivalry
at the head of the table, to ask if you
have any old straw beds that you don't
want, that could be used for the cavalry
of the United States of America"
The chivalry only paused long enough
to throw couple of pie plates at us, and
then says he:
/" Are you accursed abolitionistsP
The conservative Kentucky chap step
ped hastily forward, and says he:
No, my dear sir, we are the conserva-
tive element" .,-...
The chivalry's venerable wife, who
was female Southern Confederacy,
leaned back a little in her chair, SO that
her little son could see to throw teacup
at me, and says she:
E" You amt Tribune reporters-be
your"
We were all noes and no ayes Quite
feature in social intercourse, my boy.
The aged chivalry caused three chairs
to be placed at the table, and having
failed to discharge the fowling piece
which he had pointed at Captain Bob
Shorty, byreason of dampness in the cap,
he waved us to seats and says he:
! Sit down, poor hirelings of gorilla
despot, and learn what it is to taste the
hospitality of Southern gentleman.
You are Lincoln hordes,p says the chiv.
airy, shaking his white locks, and have
come to butcher the Southern Confede
racy; but the Southern gentleman knows
how to be magnanimous, even to van
dal foe" " ~
Here the chivalry switched out can,
which he had concealed behind him, anC
made blow at Capt. Bob Shorty.
/ See here" says Bob, Indignantly
81 IL be- .-
Hushl" says the conservative Ken
lucky chap, agitatedly, s'd don't irritatC
the old patriarch, or the future amicablt
reconstruction of the Union will be ou
of the question. He is naturally little
provoked just now, says the Kentuck,
chap, soothingly, but we must show hin
that we are his friends. f4aaaI
We all sat down in peace at the hos
pitable board, my boy, only few swee
potatoes and corncobs being thrown b,
the children, and found the fare in keep
ing with our distracted country-I ma.
say co'-fare. y,I.
q In consequence Of the blockade o
the Washington Ape, says the chiva,
ry, presently, eve only have one course
YOU see; but even these last years swee
potatoes must be .luxpcies- =, -, =. ,,
-A- .l4ad- -aalt my plate 20 "
helped when there came a great noist
from the Mackerels in the front door
yard .r- -..-.l.
! ! What's that2" says cayt Bob shor
fty.
"Oh, nothing" says the female Con
federacy, Eve only told one of our ser
wants to throw some hot water on you
reptile hirelings."
As Capt Bob Shorty turned TO thanl
her for her explanation, and while hi
plate was extended to be helped, the ageC
chivalry fired a pistol at him across The
table, the ball just grazing his head anC
entering the wall behind him. 0s
BY all that's blue" says Capt Bol
Shorty, excitedly, NOW I'll be-" "ae
1" Be calm, now, be calm" says thu
conservative Keutucky chap, hastily
"don't tell you that it is only natura
for the good old soul to be a little pro
voked2 If you go to irritate him, We
can never live together as brethrer
again
Matters being thus rendered pleasant
my boy, we quickly finished the simple
4 meal; and as Captain Bob Shorty wardec
! off the carving knife, thrown at him By
the chivelry's little son, he turned to tht
female Confederacy, and says he:
Many thanks for your kind hospitali
ty; and how about that straw bed?a
The Virginia matron threw the vine
gar cruit at him, and says she:
my servants have already given on,