Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1862-07-08
Letter from orpheusCUer,

his hips 10 make capital desk, and then
has tail Is so handy to wipe pens on. 10 a
mcmrnt OF thirst be swallowed bottle of
INK, ard some fears were entertained for
his lille; but gross Of steel peens ard a
resm OF blIttIDg paper, immediately adj
ministered, caused him to come out all
write.
In gothic sense, my boy, the charger
continues to produce architectural iilusipn
lie was standing IN hill side the other
day, with his rear elevation toward the
spectators, his head up and ears touching
al me t0p.wEen chap who has been maie
pious by frequent conversation with the
contrabands, noticed him aiar of, and savs
he u soldier: What church is that |
oehuld IN the distance, my fellow worm of
the dustP The military veteran looked
and says he, 1t does look like a church
put it,s only animated hayrack, belong
ing to the cavalry
i see.' says the pious chap moving on !;
the beast looks like church because he,
been accustomed to steeple chases.
have also much satisfaction in the soci.
city of my dog Bologna, my buy. who has
already become so attached to me that |
believe he would defend me against ary
amount OF meat. Like the Old Guard OF
France, he's always around the bouy part
thrown; and, like bon vivant, is much
gwen to whining after his dinner.
The last time | was at Paris, nv bow.
this interesting ANNA. made a good break
last Oh the calves Of tn, General Of the
Mackerei Brigadier's legs, causing that
great strategic commander to issue enough
oaths :or the whole Suuthern Confederacy.
'ihuSder says the General at the conclu
sion OF his cursory remarks, i shall have
the hydrophobia and bite somebody. It's
my opinion says the General hastily
licking lew grains of sugar from the
spoon he was holding at the time: lbs
my opinion, that should 60 rabid as soon
as | see water
Then you're perfectly safe, nv con-
queriDg hero says !; for when ypu zee
water, the Atlantic ocean wall be principaI.
ly composed of brandy pale
Speaking Of Paris, it pains me. nv bow.
to say that Captain William Browns proc
lamation for the Cancellation of southern
UuIon men has been repudiated bv the
General of the MackeraI Brigade. .Tbun
der ! says the General. taking a cork from
his pocket In mistake for "A watch-key. Its
against the Constitution to open bar SO
tar away from where Congress SITS And
ae al once issued the foil wing:
PROCLAMATION.
WHEREAS, There appears in the nuh-
| lie prints what presumpirously pretends m
be proclamation Of CAPTAIN William
| Brown, Eskayire, in the words foIlJyjng
! to>wIt:
! PROCLAAATIoS.-The Union men Of the
South are hereby informed, that the United
| States of America has reasserted himself
and will shortly open bar room in Paris.
Also cigars and other necessaries Of life
By order Of
Cap. Nil'aim B.ewn, Eskeyire.
And whereas, the same is produeing
much excitement among those members
from the border States who would preler
that said 5ar>ro0m should be nearer Wash
ington in case of sickness Therefore. I
General of the Msckerel Brigade. do pro-
claim and declare that the Mackerel Brig
ade cannot stani this sort of tkipy. and
that neither Captain Vii. am Brown. nor
any other commander has been authorized
to declare free lunch. either by Implication
or otherwise. in any State; much les in a
state OF intUxIcatiOn, of which there are
several.
To persons in this State, now, earnest.
ly appeal. l do not argue | beseecb YOU
to mix your own liquors. You cannot. n
you would, be blind to the signs of the
times, when such opportunity is offered e
see double. | beg Of you calm and i'm
mense consideration of them (signs); rang.
Ing it may be, above personal liouor estab
lishments. The change you NAV receive
alter purchasing your materials will come
gently as the dues from heayen-not rend
ing nor wrecking anything VIII Won no,
embrace me? May the extensive future
not have TO lament that have neglected I,
d, go
Green seal. Yours, respectfully, the
GENERAL OF THE MACKEREL BRIGADE.
When William read this conservative
proclamation. my boy, he Looked thought,
fully into recently occupied tumbler fo
a few moments, and then says he:
There's some intellack in that. Tn
General covers the whole ground. All
says William, preparing, in a DREAMY man
ner, to wash out the tumbler with some.
thing from a decanter, the General 50 com
pletely covers the whole ground sometimes
that the police department is requested {,
clear >
| believe him, my boy
The intelligent and reliable cnntraSands
my boy, who have come into Paris from
time to time, with valuable news concern
ing all recent movements not taking MAC,
IN the Confederacy were formed lately. b,
William, into a military company. called
the Sambory Guard, Captain Bob Short,
being deputed to drill them in the l1rec
manual of arms. They were dressed il
flaming red breeches and black ats. M
boy, and each chaotic chap looked ike
section Of stove pipe walking about On tx
radishes.
attended tic first drill, nv bcy. ant
found the oppressed Africans staining !,
line about as regular as 80 many trees In ;
maple swamp.
Captain Bob Shorty whipped out h;
sleeplsss sword, Strengthened il on log
stepped to the front, an / was just about 1,
give the hrs: order. when, suddenly, b.
started, threw up his nose, and stood para
lyzed.
What's the matter. my blue aud gilt
saysI.
lie stood like one In a dream, and cav
he:
Pears to me | smell something
Yes says / ''tis the scent of the rose
that hang around it STILL
True. says Captain Bob Shorty, recover
ing, 1T does smell like cent; and
haven't seen cent of my pay f,r such
long time, that the novelty OF the odo
knocked me. Attention. mpanyr
Only i've of the tToUps were enough
startled by this sudden order, my by
to drop their guns, and only four ST opet
down to tie their shoes. One very reliabl
consraband left the ranks. and says be:
'Mars'r haint Brudder Rhett better gul
out de hymn before de service commence
Order in the ranksv says Captain BoI
Shorty, with some asperiiy. Attention
company! Order arms
The troops did this very well, my boy
the muskets coming down at intervals O
three minutes, bringing each mans ca,
with them. and pointing SO regularly to
ward all points Of the compass, that no fot
could possibly APPROACH from any direction
without running on a bayonet
sEInatlef,t " SAWS y