Juliet signal. [volume] (Juliet [i.e. Joliet], Ill.) 1844-1???, 1862-04-29
What Allied Fremont at 81.
y0uiS.


But you have yet to learn, my by, what
was the great reason for sending Fremont
to the everlasting bills. On Tuesday, l
asked Knowing veteran at Williard's
what it really was. lie looked at me a
moment in immOvable silence; then he
softly placed his spoon-gymnasium on a
table. looked cautiously IN all direction
crept up to my ear on tiptoe, and says be
Kerr idgesP'
'Sou of bottle % says l, ''your in.
formation is about as lntelIigible as the
ordinary remarks Of Ralph Waldo Emer-
son"
The knowing veteran suffered his nose TO
take steam bath for a moment, and then
saws he:
Kerridgesf Kerridges with six horses
and the American flag flying out of the
back window. Fremcnt's great mistake at
the West was kerridge-and six horses
Did he wish TO buy some shoe strings for
his babes-.Captain Poneyowski," saws
he % bic ehsmberiain, ..order the second
steward to tel the scarlet AID gray groom
to send the kerridge and six horses round
to the door With a full band on the box
Did he W ish to make call on the next
block and obtain some bath note naper-
General Nockmynoseoff," says he to his
first esquire in waiting, Issue a proclama-
tlou to my Master in Chancery to instantly
command the Master of the Horse 10 get
ready the kerridge with six horses, and
send the life guard to clear the way" IN
fact" says the knowing veteran, frownipg
mysteriously, cit is rumored that when he
came home from De Bars theatre one
night, and found the front door Of his
headquarters accidentally locked, he in
stautIy ordered up the kerridge and six
horses, to take him around to the back en-
trance"
Now" saws the knowing veteran, sud-
denly striking the glass table blow, and
assuming an air Of embitteFed argument
they've sent him to the mountains to sup
press his kerridge."
This EXPLANATION, my boy, may he all a
fiction but certain it il, that Gen Fremont
has not the carriage he had six months
ago.
We extract the following from Artenu.
| Wards lecture on "Tbe children of the
| wood
Advertising for q wife is about a. absurd
| az getting measured for an umbrella. IL Is
! absurd-it = meaB-and ! sus; ect that
| the most OF those fellows who adout that
! method of securing domestic hliss ought Is
| hammer stone IN some weil-rcguiated
| pen:tentiary. 0ace in while. however
there may be q simple minded but unfor,
tunate young man am, ng Those advertiser
and TO him the lecturer would say, why
advertise? There is probably some yUunl
lady of your acquaintance for whom You
( have a certain regard. Why not 60 10 heI
boldly. and tel. her there is a commodiou
apartment to let IN your heart, with board
If you get the mitten, do not despair bu
charge CALAMITY elsewhere fer anoihe
mitten. You may as well have pair o
mittens. One miiten is Of no possible use
| know Of a young man out West who ha
got mittens enough to 60 peddling, and Ia
is vet healthy.
Don't be bash!ul, young man. Don't b
ike the young parsOo who rode ten mile
in sleigh with pretty girl one brigh
moonlight night, with the intention q
popping the question, but all he said was
1T is quite muony to night
Yes she replied. 'murhly'
And there wasn't another word said.