Holmes County farmer. [volume] (Millersburg, Ohio) 1857-1926, 1862-08-07
From the Burlington Qowa) Argus.
The Dog Law ana "a Soldiers
NNiSn.


The Dog Law ana "a Soldiers
wife.
Only few days since, great big,
burly, lazy-looking Abolition constable
rode up to the house of mild, retiring
soldiers wife, who fell in the field Of
battle in defence of his country, when the
following colloquy took place:
Constable--Hallo, halo, halo. Damn
you, are you all dead?
The lady came tumbling to the door.
Lady-Wbat will you have sir?
Constable" Haint you got some dogs
here?
Lady-Yes, sir. l have an old family
dog. What do you want with my dog?
Constable--Have you paid dollar
tax on yer dog, and got collar on his
neck? Trot him out and let's see; no
dodging about it hurry him up.
Lady Frightened, running round to
her little son, eight years of age, said to
him, Tommy, call Carlo out.
And the little fellow stood by the
faithful old family friend, while his little
sister some Two years younger, was hug
ing the honest old sentinel around the
neck, never dreaming of the errand of
the constable.
Constable-Do you want me to kill
that dog? If you don't, fork over a
dollar in short metre.
Lady-What do you mean sir?
Constable--I mean to kill that dog il
You don't pay over dollar to me.
Lady-But sir have no dollar.
Constable-Where in hell is your hus
band?
Lady-My husband was soldier in
the war, sir.
Constable-Why in the devil don't he
send you money?
Lady-My husband fell in the care
OF drunken surgeon, and after being
wounded died Of caralessness and neglect
without one cent of money in his poss
session, and | sold cur last COW to raisC
m oney enough to have him brought home
to be buried. We have not had one grain
of coffee and dust Of sugar in the hous,
for three months, and my little children
have not stitch of a shoe on their feet
and | am trying to raise few chickens
to buy them pair of shoes each. If
had dollar | would freely give it; bu
you won't kill my dog, will you?
Constable.-What the devil do yol
want with dog?
Lady-To guard my poultry from
vermin, and to protect my house from
thieves, and myself from insult.
Constable-Whath has the likes of yol
got to steal?
Lady--My house and home, humble a
it is, is very sacred to me and mine
Moreover the children love old Carlo
almost as much as they do each other
And one time when the Oldest one fel
in the river and was near drowning, ole
Carlo caught him by the clothes ant
brought him out. And my dear hus
band was SO much attached to him, anc
before Charly started from the house t
the war, he kissed us all, as the tear
moistened his manly face. Poor OIL
Carlo followed him to the top of the hill
and mourned his absence. When he wa
brought home dead from the war, OLE
Carlo, followed the .hearse to the grave
and howls eveSy evening as though h
would bring back the departed spirit O
his master. | would almost as lief di
myself as to see old Carlo killed.
Constable-[ Speaking to the boy j
Get off that dog, you little chap or III
shoot you.
Boy--Oh, Mister, don't kill Pas dog
still clingng to him.
Constable Dashng the child away
Damn you, you little cuss; III kill yo
if you don't get out of my way.
Lady--W ould you lend me dollar
and I'll pay you when get it?
Constable--No. | don't loan none
to everybody that is fool enough to kec
dog Let rich people keep dogs that
able to pay for them. What was you
husband, Republican or Democrat.
Lady--A Democrat, sir
Consta5lc--Then his dog ort to b
killed, and he ort to be hung. The Dem
ocrats are all damn Secesh.
The Constable fires his gun and leave
poor old Carlo dead in the yard, and thi
poor soldiers widow and her two orpha
children had him carried by the soldier
grave, aud buried where he had howle
for the absence of his master, and thel
this humble family wept tears Of gri
over the grave of their trusty old fren,
more sincere, and more appreciated tha
many tears shed over the remains
fashionable and hairless nabobs.