The Wyandot pioneer. (Upper Sandusky, Ohio) 1853-1868, 1862-10-03
9nnlnrnns.
4 PATENT SERMON.
THE HEN scRArtuEs WHERE SHE EXPECTS
10 FIND 4 BUG.


70 FIND BUG.
Fellow sisters, ,brethreh, WOMEN and
children, generally and particularly
sreaking. You needn't hustle any pages
for the text. for it amt there. It is a !
special dispensatioh to your appointed
pastor; and he hurls it at you for what II
is worth. Where the hen scratches,
there she expects to find bug. Did
you come from the race track of the
world to parade yot,r ''trotting harness"
before the meek and lowly? Have you
dropped the dazzling rattles Of business
and pleasure, to while an idle hour away
listening to tie mournful melody that
is rung by angel hands from the sacred
harps that hang forgotten upon the droop-
ing willows of mortality? Or are you
here only to rest from the rough and
tumble tussle with the arch enemy for
the almighty dollar? Verify 1 say unto
you, where the hen scratches, there she
expects to find bug. My drowsy hear
ers, we are all of us a lot of damaged
goods, trying to palm ourselves off Upon
each other for more than our market
value; and the old firm of Time, Death
& Co., is doing a hea*y commission
business upon our stock in trade: hear
the mallet Of Death; with its mechanical
tap. tap, and solid monotones of "going,
goihg," and the next minute down it
will come upon some of otr ttfieonsciotis
heads; and we shall be folded up like the
tents of the Arabs, and as silently borne
away to the other sids of Jordon, where
the dry goods man refralns from troub-
| ling. and the grocer has nothing to say,
and the weary hen ceases from scratch
ing, and the precious bug is found. In
the midst of life we are in debt, says a
notable prophet, who was near kin to
your beloved pastor. If any OF you are
tempted to tarrJ in the tavern of life, and
fail to settle your account With the land
lord. may the text rise up before you
like d fabulous Arabian giant, aid deter
YOU from that sink of utter depravity
where bummers lead trastful hens to
scratch up the bugs they devour.
Your undivided attention is further
more solicited to the Specifications of the
text, metaphorically and collectively, in
passages to suit every capacity from the
boy shucking peanuts peacefully in the
corner, to the hardehed sinner who stalks
so proudly into your masters presence
And woe unto you, youg women, sea-
saving up the broad aisle with your new
coal-scuttle bonnet and streamers hyin' =,
for you are vanity of yanities. And you
young man in your fancy neckcloths, go
on until you slip up over bale of cotton
and are left 10 drift array over the broad
birthstone sea Of national disgrace, by
word and jest unto the world you love
not wisely but too well. hy beloved, /
warn you noH, ii you manifest symptoms
of such cowardice as has been handed
down to you from high places; the big
gest pair of stogv boots in this congre-
CATION will rise up in judgment against
you, and kick you out into the broad road
that leads to Everlasting rtiin. And final
Ily, when you cut the crust from youl
brown bread loaf. and scrape the hard
beans from the top of your noontIde pot,
if you cut q little into the soft and scrape
little below the crisp for the beggars
and outcast's portion, your conscience
; and digestion will trouble you less; ano
as you steal out, as some OF you VIII to-
nipht, where the silver moon of memory
hangs low ovef the haunted hills OF tht
: past, to bow at some hallowed finger pos
that points the way beloved went ove1
your broken heart to heaven, may The
eternal verdure of the evergreen Hop'
spring up in the barren spots trod hare
by the busy leet OF the absorbing Now
Il and bring you to the sweetness Of tina
. peace and the tenderness Of that low
y thai overfiows continually in deeds ant
. words, Tor The elevation of the ragatnuf
II fms who march in the rear ranks OF th
= army Of humanity; for the barbarian
are not all in the ragged file, but ''nian
: gem OF purest ray serene" want but
( fitting from the filth 10 snfhe, So mot
le II he: Brother Slowfas,. circulate tn
! PLANTER ,ol the root OF evil, unt1l 1t is
5 rooted out of this place: For verify
&c say unto you, the hen that scratches heI
expects to find bug. Shell out!
m "Come, sonny, get up" said an indu
f. gent father to his son. Remember tt