Daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1865, 1862-07-15
THE MACKEREL BRIGADE.
A Racy aud Cutting SatIre-HA GlorI-
Gus Victory, and who is Responsi-


a Racy aud Cutting satire-"A Glort-
Gus victory, and who Is RespOnsi-
EDIroR t. T:-0wing to the persistent
stupidity of Congress and the hideousIy-
II easouable Vaccinations of the unscrupu-
lous black republicans, my boy, the wealth
er still continues very hot; and unless the
thermometer falls very soon, an exaspera-
ted populace will demand an immediate
change IN the cabinet. am very warm,
my boy-I am very warm; and when re-
fleet upon the agency of the abolitionists,
who have brought this sort of thing about
for the express purpose of injuring my
Constitution, am impelled to ask myself:
Did our revolutionary foreftthers indeed
expire in vain2 0my country my cOun-
tryl it is very warm.
was talking some moments ago with
regimentnl surgeon, who has more patients
on a monument than Shakspere ever
dreamed about, and says he: sin conse-
quence of the great number of troops now
about this city, all the oxygen in the ut.
mosphere is exhausted, and we are very
warm. Had all these troops been sent to
Mcclellan two weeks ago." says he, using
his lancet to pick a dead fly out of his
tumbler, tive might be able to keep cool
now. There is u terrible responsibility ON
somebody's shoulders"
That's very true, my boy, and it's very
warm.
There was panic this morning 10 finan
cial circles, owing to the frantic conduct of
a gambling chap from the Senate, who has
been saving up money to bet on the fall of
Richmond, and was trying 10 put it out at
interest "l'll .ake seven per cent, for it
the fret year" says he, anxiously, "and
leave it standing until national strategy
comes to head"
A broker took it for five years, my boy,
with the privilege of extending the time
after each fresh victory.
Speaking of victories, my boy, was
present ut the recent series of triumphs by
the Mackerel Brigade, on the left shore of
Duck Lake, aud witnessed a succession of
teats calculated to culminate either in the
fall of Richmond or in the fall of the
year.
From the headquarters in the city of
Paris to the brink of Duck Lake, the Mack
erels were drawn up in gorgeous line of
battle, their bayonels resembling somewhat
an uucombed head OF steel hair, and their
noses looking like wavy strip of summer
sunset. By their last great strategical
maueuyre, they had lured the Southern
Confederncy to court its own destruction
by fiauking them at both ends of the liue,
and they were only waiting for the MASTER
mind to give them the signal.
Samyule Sa-nIith advanced from his
place in the staff as l rode up, and says
he:
'GOmrndes. the general depends on
you to precede him to glory. We had
hoPed," says SamyRle, feelingly. "to have
the company of two French counts in this
days slaughter; but these two noble gem
arn q ha n moi ttpno to tbaty
to visit the great exhibition in London"
These remarks werc well received, my
boy; and Whenlhe order was given for com
pany 3, regiment S, to detour to the left, it
would have been promptly obeyed bat for
an unforeseen incident. Just as Captain
William Brown was about to bresk line for
the purpose, an aged chap came dashing
down from a First Family country-seat near
by, and says he to the General of the Mack
erel Brigade:
az demand a guard for my premises i'm
mediately! My wife, says he, with digui-
ty, nhas just been making custard- pie for
the sick Confederates in the hospital, and
as she has just set il out to cool near
where my little boy shot one of your van
dals this morning, she is afraid it might be
taken by your thieving mudsills when they
come after the body. therefore, demand
guard for my premises in the name OF the
Constitution Of our forefathers."
Here Captain Bob Shorty stepped for
ward, and says he:
aWhat does the Constitution say about
custard pie, Mr.. Davfs2"
The aged chap spat at him, and says
he:
t'G claim protection nnder that clause
which refers to the pursuit of happiness.-
Custard pies" says he, reasoningIy, nare
included in the pursuit of happiness
That's very. true,p says the general,
looking kindly over his fan at the yenera.
BILE petitioner. "Let a guard be detailed
to protect the good old mans premises
We are fighting for the Constitution, not
against it, J