Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1862-04-05
ming out, apparently in great haste, and called


move all the oil cans from the vicinity before
you commence. That's all. Good by"
"oil oans!" said Aramints, what can she
mean?"
''sure enough,"I 1 replied, blushiug, never
thelsss, up to the roots of my hair, "what can |
she mean'" Notwithstanding, knew what |
she meant and swore vengeance.
Before, had fairly realized the Importance |
of this discovery (which did not take q mo-
ment to find out), I had returned in front Of |
Araminta, who was arranging hsr manifold |
draperies preparatory to start. Designing |
to produce profound impression, struck, |
with assumed carelessness, graceful attitude |
had spent some time in acquiring on my
parlor skates. Indeed, on them, I could do it |
first rate; for by putting the knees together |
and pressing the feet a little outwards, you |
can maintain almost any position you may de- |
sire. But alas was speedily reminded that |
1 was standing on something very different |
from parlor skates. Just as Araminta looked |
up with an admiring glance, putting the final |
touch upon her multitudinous apparel by that |
indescribable twitch with which ladies always |
announce themselves as "ready," and ex- |
claimed, in tone of rapture, Isn't it heav- |
enly?" felt my legs slowly receding from |
each other, and starting off sideways on their |
separate and individual responsibility. L
making a frantic effort to bring them to-
gssher, with no more effect, however, than
IL
Parlor skates only roll backwards and for
| wards, and a side movement not coming
within the range Of my previous expe-
rience, found me wholly unprepared. My
| feet slid off further and further apart, and
| stretched and stretched to accompany them
| till actually every bone in my body seemed to
ache, but Of no avail. The human frame is
| not pair Of compasses, and found myself
| obliged, when my feet were some distance
/ apart, to tumble or split So / tumbled. Of
i course, the moment touched the ice i'm
/ mediately commenced to fix my skates. In
deed 1 have no recollection of seeing any one
Il tumble who didn't commence to fix his skates.
1t is a singular circumstance, but almost ex-
| actly the same thing may be seen on the road
Il every day. gentleman will be observed
| passing everybody at a 2:40 gait, and every
thing is all right; but whom he reaches some
| one who starts after and passes him in 2:39,
| something immediately happens to his harness,
| obliging him TO pull up into the corner of the
/ fence and fix it. This is q curious coincidence,
| for which l acknowledge myself wholly un.
| able to account
l got up as soon as my skates were fixed and
| assisted Araminta to her feet. As that beauti-
| full (but somewhat large) creature intrusted
herself con6dingft to my protection, 1 felt her
| weight (which roughly estimated at 165 lbs.)
| as she leaned upon my arm for support, with
| the same sensations that the man must have
/ experienced on taking possession of the ele-
phant which he had drawn in a lottery. We
| started beautifully, but on the third stroke
| Araminta, without any earthly reason that L
i could see, grasped my arm frantically, threw
Il her head back and sat down, more like thou
sand Of bricks than anything else 1 ever saw
1 / tried to stop her; but you might as we'll have
tried to stop an avalanche from sliding or an
NJ. c. from speaking. She looted heavy, but
/ she Jsit twice as heavy as she looked, and my
| attempt to sayesher resulted in the downfall Of
| both Of US. We came down "solid;" and a
| sharp ''erack," as though the ice had given
away under the pressure was distinctly audible
started, and Araminta screamed, but
nothing was to be seen. Pretty soon, a strong
smell Of whisky began to pervade the air. Ara
Il minta, who is temperance" to the back bone,
| shifted the odor with intense disgust, and re-
i marked "that any one who would come to any
place where there were ladies, smelling as thai
man did who had just passed, was no gentle.
man.. scquiesoed, Of course, and muttered
something about great brute" At the same
time l could not help felicitating myself on my
discretion in putting my whisky into my coat
tail instead Of my breast pocket, where Ara
minty would have discovered it to a certainty
But, on my putting my hand into my pocket
was horrifed to discover, by getting my
fingers cut, that that last ''crackh had been
the death knell Of my flask that it was reduced
| to fragments, and the odor in question arose
from my saturated pocket. 1t was frst GLASS
| Bourbon, and could be smelled q aquarter of
mile! Every enc turned as we passed, and
| shifted and stared to see what made "that
SMELL" and a policeman began to follow us
"afar off," My charmer was not greatly
pleased at the public celebrity she had 80 sud-
denly attained, although as yet unconscious Of
the cause.
We started again. This time she slipped and
hit my shin with her skate, in a way that weuld
have brought tears in the eyes of a pawnbro-
ker, tripping me up, and of course we went
down together. 1 uttered a single ejaculation,
| more emphatic than usual in polite converse
tion, as the pieces Of glass in my pocket, on
which brought up, stuck in nay leg in several
places, and bounced up in hurry, forget
ting for the moment all about Araminta She
looked at me with indignation. " Mr.. Smith,"
said she, with great dignity, and emphasis on
the Mr., you have been drinking, sir. - OF
course swore had Mt, and made all possible
excuses but l could plainly see that my proc
testations did not receive much credit. Never
theless, We started again. For time all went
smoothly, but began to think that Araminta,
in one of her evolutions, must have fallen on
her temper, for ii was getting more unpleasant
| with every collision and stumble-and " their
name was legion" Finally, just as We were
in front of the ladies' room, little brat of a
BOY, skating 6y like the wind, came up against
about two hundred yards, making a hole
through the crowd in his way like six pound
she'll seized her and knoao I would have
4 neld ner up, only, just at that moment my
left leg, by some fatality, had again seeded
from the right, and started of sideways by it.
self. Anyhow, over 1 went and Araminta
sat on me, more like piledriver than young
lady. We went down right in the path of half
q dozen skaters, who piled over us in perfect
pyramid. The way the drapery fell was tre-
meDdous, and then-all was blank.
| came to my senses in one of the eating
booths by having scalding hot coffee poured
II down INV ku Il
little whisky in it occasionally, with sausage
in the absence OF spoon, to strengthen me. /
started up and rushed to the door. Where was
/ Araminta?
| Your big gal. :" confidently remarked a
| very small boy, {" has gone of with that fancy
him do the outside edge backward !Sn
Hooked, and saw Jones! Yes, Jones stand.
| ing on one leg and looking at his coat.tail
under his elbow, in utter defiance of all laws