, 1862-04-05
Extract from Ross Browns Letter


In recent letter from St. Petersburgh to the
Sacramento Union, ]. Ross Brown gives the fol
lowing humorous sketch;
The soldiers also have a dirty and slovenly ap-
pearance especially those whose uniform consists
of long mud-colored oyercoat in summer, and
the same, for all l know, in winter. The Imperial
Guards are polished up little brighter and do
not compare unfavorably with the soldiers of 9th
er countries. One company was pointed out to
me, Il forget under what title they went,) each
member of which has his face ornamented by the
most extraordinary nose ever saw on human
countenance-a kind of triangular nose, with the
cone pointing little upward the base fastened
on in the usual way, and the nosirils staring you
in the face like the muzzle of double-barreled
pistol. This was informed, is type of nose
common in a certain province in Russia. 1t is
certainly the ugliest type | have ever yet seen in
my travels but it must have made strong i'm
preston upon the late Emperor Nicholas. He
was so pleased with the first specimen pre-
sented to him in the form Of recruit that he
ordered an entire regiment to be raised, every
member of which must be nosed in this peculiar
Style 1t was not without difficulty that the en-
ssares Of his Majesty succeeded in getting to-
gether so large a number of men with the estab
shed range of noses--the exact degrees of which
were accurately laid down in the Imperial ukase
accompanied by chart demonstrating the math-
ematical projections. When the regiment was
finally organized and equipped, their boards cut
of, so as to give additional prominence to the
grand feature, a fierce moustache only being al
lowed to project by way of a cross-base, it was
admitted on all hands that more terrific looking
confidently predicted that no enemy could face
such frghtful array of noses, every one ofwhch
looked like some dreadful double-barreled battery
elevated over an embankment of bushes. Ncho-
las rejoiced at the complete success of his
project Not an individual of this regiment could
appear in the streets without causing women and
children to run, and strong men to tremble in
their boots. They were frequently drilled and
exercised by the Car himself, who seemed never
to tire of the ugliness and erocity of their facesi
be manufactured for his own use, modelled upon
a plaster casting taken from the nose of the ug-
liest man in the regiment When the Crimean
war broke out, and things began to look little
discouraging down there, Nicholas, who had held
back is fayorites as dernier resort, determined to
put an end to the war at once, and sent this regi
ment to the grand field of operations, with orders
to his Generalin- Chief to see that they were
promptly brought before the enemy. The Gene
ra-n-Chief was delighted when he saw the array
of noses with which his Imperial Master had fur
nished him, and strightway ordered the regiment
into battle. To the disgust and horror of the
whole Russian army, no sooner did this famous
body of ugly men come in contact with detach-
ment Of French troops than every man of them
flung down his musket, clapped his hands to his
nose, and fed as if pursued by legion of devils.
In vain the commanding officers attempted to
rally them; in vain they were exhorted, entreat-
ed and tfreatered by turns. They never stopped
running until they were clear out of sight of the
Frenchmen. AS soon as the panic was over, and
they were all gathered in order once more, the
Commander-n-C Chief boiling with rage and NOR
tifcation, rode up in front of them and demanded
in stern tones, "Cowards what have you done /?
Is this the account of your heroism l am TO trans
NIT to your Imperial Master-that you fled like a
flock of sheep at the very first charge! What
have you to say for yourselves, you miserable
potroons ?' At this, discontented murmur ran
tbrouob the ranks Soon dpnutation of the t,olv
men lifted up their voices and spoke. May it
please your Excellency," said they, "we are not
towards We fear nothing in human shape. We
have been accustomed from infancy to every spe
cies of danger, and almost all sorts of peril. We
have smelled all the smells from Kazan to St.
Petersburgh; from ST. Petersburgh to Odessa
from Odessa to Sebastopol; but if it please your
Excellency, we never smeled anything like these