Worcester daily spy. [volume] (Worcester [Mass.]) 1850-1888, 1862-10-10
Muttester 4ailg Spg
Capt. samyule Sa-mIth Dying on the
Battlefield.
BY oRPHEUs C. KERR.

BY ORPHEUS G. KERR.
1t was Tuesday morn, when Captain Sam
yule Sa-mith, of the advance guard, having
satisfied himself that the brigade was about to
achieve its browning victory, concluded that
the time of expiring after the manner of Cen
eral Wolfe at Quebec had arrived at last. The
battle had already commenced, my hog, and
a squad of evil-minded confederates were in
fullsretreat after the Mackerel pickets, when
Samyule hastily fell upon his back, beckOned
for the artist of Frank Leslie's illustrated pa
per, motioned for the nearest reporter to take
out his note book, drew a lock OF red hair
from his bosom and kissed it, waved his left
hand feebly toward his country's standard, and
says he: tTete dAqmee l die for the old
fla"
"Stop!" shriekeda Mackerel, dashing fran
tcally to his side at this instant. "The Ana
tomical Cavalry, which is ordered to charge
the foe, wishes to know if it shall take its
horses along.
Up sprang Samyule, and says he:
''Tell the horsemen to take everything but
their trunks with them, and not to stay more
than a week. really believe" says Sam
yule, in great passion-"I really believe
the artillery will be wanting to know next if
they'd better load before firing"
Just at this time, my boy, the Comic Sec
ton of the Mackerel Brigade, under Captain
William Brown, came charging toward the
spot with fixed bayonets, their gallant leader
waving his sword, EScalibar, over his head,
and calling upon his troops to lead on to VIC
tory. Forward they went like men, rushing
past us in swift fury, and composing the
heaviest visitation of red noses ever yet
launched upon a foe. To be sure no foe was
visible in the immediate line of their charge;
but as they happened to be going down
pretty steep hill at the time, it was quite pos
sible that they might meet some adversaries
before they could stop themselves.
Fired by the sight, Capt. Samyule Sa-mith
flew to take command of company OF Mack
erels, who were busily firing their muskets at
some confederacies not more than two miles
distant; and having placed himself at the
head thereof, was about to proceed in pursuit
of warlike adventures, when he caught sight
of a body of men, followed by another body
of men, followed by another body of men,
moving along the valley below him.
''Hem" said Samyule, ponderingly, ''what
is this sight mine eyes behold?"
''Oh," says a sergeant beside him, ''that's
the No. army of the cOnfederacy; escorting
some prisoners they have just taken at Har-
per's Ferry"
Samyule regarded the spectacle attentively
sfor a moment, and says he: "Well, there's
only one thing more want to know about it,
says Samyule, thSughtfully, (which of them
two bodies of infantry is the army, and which
is the prisoners?"
Was the tiniest, wee-ist, smallest fragment,
of sarcasm in this speech? Find out for your
self, my boy-fnd out for yourself
1t was shortly after this remark, and while
the Orange County HowitZers were raining
tempest of shot and shell at everything but
L. Il
Samyule's feet, and again reminded him of
his latter end. Noting that he was observed
by those around him, my boy, and that the
surroundings of the scene were picturesque,
he uttered hollow groan and fell prone to
the earth. Then picking up the bit of shrap-
nell, and laying it upon his heart, he kicked
once, and says he;
= sis it almost morning, mother? Hurrah
for the old fl"
forward with company 2, Immediately"
Numbered messenger, who at this moment
came tearing up at the spot. ''The confed-
eracy has hanked the Comic Section, and is
trying to escape"
Preferring to defer death itself rather than
see his beloved country outwitted by the reb-
els, Capt. Samyule Sa-mith darted swiftly to
his feet at the word, and instantaneously led
company down the hill at double quick. |
followed him half way, my boy, and then turn
ed off into a cross road, where l found Cap
tain William Brown striving to get portion of
the devoted Comic Section into a straight line
by ranging it against fence. William ceased
his labOrs when he saw me approaching, and
says he
''Here's conquering beings for you. Ah!"
says William, proudly, 81 sent these invinci-
BILE beings on bayonet charge just now, and
they have all come back without their mus
kets"
''What did they do with them?" says l.
cleft them sticking in the foe" says Viii
liam, skeptically.
"Why," says William, confdentially, "they
didn't bring single one back with them, and
of course they must have left them sticking
into the paralyzed confederacies."
81 If William could draw a check as easily as
he can draw an inference, my boy, he might
paper the outside of the universe with ten dol
lar bills, and have enough ffties left to make
a very deep border.
Leaving the decimated corps to reorganize,
fastened down the hill again and arrived at
the bottom only to find group of reporters
and Mackerels surrounding a manly PROSTATE
form. Company had just succeeded in rOut-
ing some cOnfederacies from melon patch,
and captain Sumyule Sa-mith was improving
the opportunity to expire once more in an af-
fecting manner. Lifting his feeble head when
he saw me, and pulling small flag little
further out of a side pocket in his coat, the
perishing warrior smiled half way down his
chin, and says he:
81 still live All hail to the old fla"
some moment, if you pleased" shouted col
onel Wobert Wobinson, breaking through the
group "Could you make it convenient to
pay me that dollar you owe me, Samyule?"
Samyule rose deliberately to his feet again,
my boy, wearing upon his countenance the
most awful expression ever saw upon hui
man face.
"Well,' says Samyule furiously, "Tve
tried to die for my country three times to-day
and never got further than the old fla
There is such vulgarity in them which inces-
sanity surrounds me, says Samyule bitterly,
THAT they wont even let me die in peace"
From the Chicago Tribune.
A Coon DAYS WoRK.-In single day
last week the Michigan Central railroad com
pany moved the following The fourth Mich