The Tiffin weekly tribune. (Tiffin, Ohio) 1859-1868, 1862-03-28
Tffip assskluTribul,es.
orr nAsKET OF cIlrs.

y Woma.s best righi-The Marriage
Rite.
Model wives formerly took a stitch in
time, but now by the help Of a Sewing.
Machine they take one in no time.
Our forefathers preached golden SER
mons from wooden pulpits. Nowadays
II IA reversed. People 20 10 church to
see the world, and hear wooden sermons
from golden puIpits.
Wefckrord for ne LINN Shoemaksrs.
L-Strke till the lsst-hrmed foe expires
Sat Press.
o., A man who assisted te empty several
bottles OF vino, afterwards took a walk.
The pavcments were quito ICY, aud he
cxelaimcd: ,'V--ve--fy sing--lar; VIII
whenever water freezes, 4 alw's freezes
with the s,--slippcy side up"
II Is n sad commentary upon the course
Of instruction pursued in young ladies'
schools, that the graduates seldom know
now to decline an offer Of marriage.
"Bnl, am fascinated with Miss Mil
lion" "Whh her personal charmsr'--
Yes, purse and all charms"
A female critic says that she hns TO
use the tod freely among our authors
lfshe Is pretty, probably some Of them,
,hough aot disposed to kiss the rod,might
like very well 10 kiss lis user.
A little boy asked tue razor strop man
g ho could sharpen his appetite. The
s.zor-Strop man al once stropped him 80
sverely that the urchin cot OFT.
WHY docs father call mother honey I
ssked boy Of his elder brother Can't
think, except it's cause she wears large
ssmb in her head"
A good many pious people arc u care.
Si ol their religion ss Of their beet ssrv-
i.s Of china, using il only on holiday oc.
,ssions for fear il should yet ehipped or
t.wsd in working.dsy wear.
A. hounds easily follow the seen, be-
..rc the dew 10 risen. so tho Divinity
caches us, while ye; our sorrow is wet,
70 follow on aud hbd eur dear ones in
Heaven.
Ia good society, We are required 10 do
ssliging things 10 one hno,hcri In gen
i-el society we are required only 10 say
sasm.
Plenty 10 ss distinct from tcfnlness
ss whole sack full Of wheat from a sack
With a hole In il for tho wheat 10 run
sarough.
Not that which men do wor.hlly, but
that which they do successfully, is what
hstery makes haste 10 record.
Some people arc ever dull when per
fsetly sober like a ssfer, they must be
we'll we,led to bs good for anything
II MAY be . question whether an army
10 or 10 not brave. when, on being attack.
Cd at is morning moal, itresUlves at all
AarArds TO break fast
Death. TO good man. 10 tho coming
Of the heart 10 Its blossoning timo. Do
We call Il dying whom tho bud burst into
dover.
We DO not easily discover our own
faults; the slssrest eyes do not see the
chesks below nor the brow above.
Guineas and half guines are very
pleasant "mint drops for man to have,
even il thsy are ali due drops,
It adds much to the psrpleIi,ies of a
ststssmups position, that the people are
pretty sure, in the end, to hold him rc-
sponsibls fer thoir own ll-advised ac.s.
II cant undertake. wife. to crafty all |
life 10 worth" "oh. air, that's nOthingl'
she replied.
Never look At the girls. They can't
bear III they regard II as an insult. They
wear their feathers, furbelows and frills
msrsly TO crafty their mammss--thats
all.
wuis all very well in It's place and
time, hut usually II 10 better TO deal with
the suard than the sword, to use saltpe-
tre on the beof-barrel than In the gun
barrel, 10 drive the cart than tho cart.
ridge. TO use the seythe riao than the Min
10 ride.
shrswd-"But II / put my money In
the saviags' bank" impaired one Of the
nswly arrived. "whcn can draw it out
sgsinp
"0b," said his friend, "spre. an Il ys
Pot Il In to-day you can get il Tomorrow
BY giving a fortnight's notice"
Boy--I say, old fellow, you've been
"going il high" lately. amt you'll | can
smell your breath from here.
lnveterste old topper, with svivid rec.
sllsctisn Of his last drunk. Do you-II
envy you the pleasure.
"spssking Of shaving" said a pretty
girl TO au obduratc old bachelor. al should
think that q pair Of handsome eyes would