The Hillsdale standard. [volume] (Hillsdale, Mich.) 1851-1909, 1862-10-21
~A dutcbman had two pigs--a large

EEA dutchman bad two pigs-a large
one and a small one. The smaller being the
older, he was trying to explain to acustomer,
and did it this wiee: "The little pig Is the
pig is the biggest" Upon which his frow,
ass ssuming to correct him, said: lyon will
excuse him, be no speak as good English az
me-he no means to little pig is to plggest;
but to youngest little pig is te Oldest"
ngThe vigilance of our gunboats on the
lower Potomac appears to be on The increase
Sunday. five boats loaded with clothing, dry
goods and provisions, intended for the rebels
in Virginia, were captured while in transltu
across the Potomac. The crews were sent 10
the Old Capital Prison. A
"What will you takea' said one bibulous
democrat to another this morning.
"Well, III try some of that Internal Oak
land Stout" but I'd almost as soon be pol
scned. a.,
And as the saloon keeper handed on the
dismal mixture, he remarked 'that 1t was q
little "Riley," at the bottom.
GDetroit Advertiser.
Ey"Why Samuel, am astonished J" SAID
a verify deacon. .Didin't We take you into
our church short time since" "l believe
$50 hic cupped Samuel" and between you
and me it was the d-dest take in you ever
saw or heard Of"
GEN. LANES ARMY.-Late advices from
Kansas state that Gen. Lane has recruited De-
tween three and four thousand volunteers In
that State, besides organizing two regiments
of negroes for labor, or such other service as
may be required. s1
r4y- 1t is said Of Neal Dow, the author OF
the celebrated Maine Liquor Law, that soon
after he arrived in New Orleans, tie landlord
of his hotel sent to his room mint Julp.-
The tumbler came back empty.
TnR INpIANs.-A letter from Indian Com
missioner Dole, received says that the war
with the Sioux has only commenced and VIII
not be ended within year. The tribes 10
insurrecton number about 10000 persons, of
whom 1900 are warriors. sA
Tho steamship Great Eastern had hole,
oo feet long and 8 feet wide, made in her
bottom by striking rock in Long leland
sound. She remains at Flushing. Her bad
luck cheats all creaticn.'
An Irisbman in New Haven, having
had nine children in eight years wedlock ap-
plied for an exemption certificate because he
could serve his country so much better at
home"
EETom Moore compared love to pota.
toe. .sbecause it shoots from the the eyes,
"Or, rather" exclaimed Byron, "because IL
becomes all the less by paring."
Ideuess is the mother Of Mischief; the
moment horse has done eating his oats, ne
turns TO and guaws bis manger, and what
Wrue Of horses is equally true of men.
nzrAn artist showing one Of his pictures
TO critic, said, "It is only an outline, you
w."-"I should think so,'' replied the
critic, ''every limo Is OUT"
A MrsrAKE.-A man lately put bis dog
10 bed and kicked himself down stairs. He
did not discover his mistake until the next
morning. ttl 4a@
eyA letter from Naples says.--S,snding
on Castle Elmo, drank in the whole sweep
of the day. What swallow the writer must
have bad! ~ ts,.r. t.1a
ay- A Quaker once hearing person tell
how much he felt for another, dryly asked
him: Friend hast thou felt In thy pocket
I for him." M ~
A lover writing to his sweetheart, says
4 Nv dearest dcar-You are so sweet that hon.
ey would blush in yoar presence, and molasses
would stand appalled, t.ils..
gwhy is a school boy stronger than
any person in existence because he often
carries whale ON bis back.
! rzIf servant will lie for his master, his
{ master need not be astonished If the servant
|lics for himself