The weekly Ottumwa courier., 1862-10-18

er music tnan flowS from an origin, altho'
do not myself, grind. remember compos
in Dirge on my step Cousins death, with
a chorus, which sung with marked effect
accompanied by the origin.
My orchestra is gigantic German, -and
can lick yardful of wildcats before break.
fast without sweatin' hair He'll bea,
lettin' alone about as well as any man eve,
saw. So | told him if he heard any man
smaller than he was talkin' secesh to gentle
toss him into the lake and then pun hin
out. He said he'd do it, and kinder reck.
oned he would.
"Where has my Yawcub been ~ said
"Dutchman what of the nightg"
He has been sousin secessionists in the
lake.
"That's quite right,"I said. Don't lie,
the horses drink there for day or two. :
Your conduct, Yawcub, pleases me. So
you put the vile secessionists into the drink
did you, Yawcub?" and larfed at the
idee.
Yaw" he said, &C. butts dem all in. Dey
schqueal like ter tam!''
The door here opened, and Mr.. Skimpins,
the. village lawyer, entered,
How are you, Skimpins ?" said risin'
to greet him.
He was picter to behold. His hat was
off, his hair looked like a parcel Of drowndid
rats, ann his garments was soakin' we.
Why bless me, Skimpins, I'm alsard
you're wet y
"Oh !you are, are you9" he replied; "wel
perhaps am leetle moist. Your big
Dutchman there has been throwin' us into
the take pretty lively this evenn He said
it was your orders to duck all seceshers
and on my tellin him was Union man, he
said that wouldn't save me onless l took the
oatn Of allegiance in DutchH
lie has fine appreciation of American
humor y said the editor of the Bugle.
You've carried this leetle too far, my
form friend" said I, "and I must super
sede you, altho' may give you, mounin
department.. If you shouldn't happen to
like mountin department, you can retire
to Gloucester, Massachusetts,. It is neces-
sary," l said, ito put the foot down firmly
once in while. I shall adopt new views as
fast as they appear to be true views. What
/ do about thingsI do it about 'em, and
what I don't do 1 dont do it, not much,
don't. My wife don't, either"
inquired Betay, Iayin down ner knittin worK
and comm to me.
The giant intellect wanders ~ murmur-
ed the schoolmaster.
Perhaps" said Mr.. Skimpins, who was
ringin the water out Of his coat-tails, ''per.
haps it's suthin with sugar into it."
Neither said I. "My mind is clear.
Pm loocid. I'm honest Old Art Il And I'll
tell you leetle story. When I lived
Ha cried the Editor of the Bugle-"
despatch a dispatchi' ard he tore a
paper from the telegraph boy, who stood in
the doorway. "Its from Washington
Washington is safe!"
1T must be safe" I said "I don't
care whether there's gun in Washington
or not. Let all the men we've been sendin
there for the past year and half just lay
down on the outsquirts of the town, and II
viii take the entire rebel army six months
to climb over them! Yes, I think Wash
ington is safe"
The affairs of the nation," said the
schoolmaster, "are conducted with signal
brilliance."
Whichuncer' asked.
Brilliance, Sir-brilliance ~
You speak skarcasticly ?" said L.
81 do. Why don't the Comment use
the negroes. Why not make 'em useful in
every possible way2 The rebels make 'em
shoot at us-why shouldn't we teach 'em te
shoot at the rebels? Admittin', for argy
ment's sake, that negroes isn't superior t.
horses and asses-don't we work our horse.
and asses ~
:" Yes, certainly" replied, "we work oul
horses, but we put asses onto 'em That's
what makes us SO sick ~
" think see it." said the schoolmas
ter I'VE amt very well, that's fact"
"No," l replied /; ian d I'll say this if
with our vast advantage, in almo st every
respect over the South; if we, great fre'
nation by ourselves, can't wollnp the fee til
he yells for mercy, then I'm goin' to Mexi
co where they have stable COMMENT, ant
the rest of you had better take suthin warn
and lay down. But, my friends, never de-
pair of the Republic. WEAR about to try i
on agin, with army big enough:to grind
to powder--a army to be led, let US all pra.
by one good man. Better or braver
troops never fit than ours. They've don
their duty, God bless 'em! But they'v,
had too many bosses. The only troubl
with our splendid army has been Bad Bos
sin. This is to be reformed hereafter-an'
SO hooray for the old flag! May it soon fiy
over every State with all its wanderin- star
come back agin, rs the happy old time J.
That's worth fightin' for--it's worth dyin
forl Young man, enlist right of. Air 20,
afeared it'll spile your beauty Let me tel
you that the best and prettiest girls in thi
country air hereafter goin to be courted b.
fellows on crutches, who have done grea
things in battle, and you chaps who staid a
home in your country's dark hour won
stand do more chance Of gottin' one Of 'eu
than j, Davis does of go;n to heaven in