Daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1865, 1862-05-22
MY FeelIngs In the BnttIe.


The following extracts, from the letter
of young officer in Burnside's army, gives
a vivid account of the writer's thoughts
and feelings when on march and under fire
at Newbern, and should console many
whose hearts ache for their friends In
battle:-
regrets that have sent no ac-
count of what my feelings were on the
march and during the battle-it would be
hard to do so. Three days after it was
Over-suCh had been the excitiment at the
.time-it seemed like dream AS ! re-
member now, on the march felt chiefly
interested in "getting ou,n when was not
too tired to do anything more Ihuu just
stumble along. Before We left the boat.
wien rose on the 18th, | had sort of
yearning for you, and a somewhat despnir-
ing feeling that was not to return that
day;-but when I bad dressed and the time
came for leaving for the shore, all was for
gotten in the thought tor duty which must
go forward in hope and confidence.
"That early morning of the l4th woke
of course not much rested from my bed on
the sloppy pasture in the rain. didn't
think after that except to do whdt was
told (carry the news of the firing 10 Gen.
AShSA 1uA AAAN ~ NuH plGhElol uUlll 1 uhu
advanced with the skirmisheTs to the
front, and saw where we must go. /
made up my mind then that there was
small chance for any of us-but not at all
despniringly, calmly-and meanwhile to
fight ones best. The first ball only added
TO the conviction of small chance, but
without at all affecting the other convic-
tiOn, that be the fire rs hot US hail we
must still go on. And then when the
Thinking guns were opened on us, and for
second there was a little faItering, ones
self was utterly forgotten in the "they
must not fall back, they shall not'-and
all my mind was given to keeping the line
up, as we moved forward through the trees,
the balls whistling around US.
When at last we laid down under fire.
do not know what / thought of; was
fearfuIy tired, and my back and limbs
Hched horribly, and in such fatigue one
could not of course think much. There
was think, conviction that | stood a
good chance to be hit, and meanwhile
waited wandering whether it would be
cannon ball or bullets and when it would
come, and whore hit, and if would be car
ried off or rest there. Then when the Yell
ing shells grew thick and the spliuters be-
gan to fall around me, don't know how.
but grew quite cheerful-it was "gone
case" l remember ns shell struck tree
above Capt. --. laughed and pointed
it out to him with my sword.
"rhere were thougts ofyounow and then
crossing me-but straugeIy-it was a sort
of cold feeling that it would be awful to
you should be killed there, dreadful gap
in your lives, matter Of. fact feeling that
my going out would be missed somewhere:
then when we rose to charge, there was a
thankfulness that we hal conquered, aud
now we'd have little chance to rest
And when We marched out of the entrench-
ments on our way to Newberu, there were
thoughts of gratitude that I was cafe for
your sRkes, and that, for that day, at least,
there would be no more poor fellows shot
and MANNED before and around me-
Saturday, when body and mind had
time to rest, 1 laid on my bed taking refresh-
ment from tue thoughts of homelove and
prayers.
II much regret that did not think more
during those hours when we lay under FIRE;
and one reason why'I wish for another bat
tie is, that may remember to think. /
suppose it was the fatigue that prevented.
Ny experience is, that the prospect of death,
such as we had that dag before US, has
| something in it which, whilst it partakes of
the awful, yet bears a consolation in its
certainty that it must be met, that there
can be no such thing as faltering, simply
'tO go on, this was the undercurrent of my
thoughts during those two days, meanwhile
| felt perfectly cheerful and active.
81 don't think eau remember anything
more than this, in my feelings sit was all
(" great must They (our men who telI)
must be killed, we must march forward
must join the regiment, (for crossed to
under fire. We must lie here till further
orders-we must take the batteries It
was not that Honor or Duty demanded d it
It was the 'Must'-behind which stood
Honor and Duty indeed. Well, know
what 1t is ~
81.