The Burlington weekly hawk-eye. [volume] (Burlington [Iowa]) 1860-1876, 1862-08-02

Early in the week took my usual trip TO
Paris and found Company 8, Regiment 3, Mack.
eral Brigade, making an advance from the fur
Their shore Of Duck Lake for sanitary reasons
It Vas believed to be detrimental to the health
of the gay Nackerels to be 90 near . body OF
pure water, my boy, for they were not accus-
toned to the element.
THUNDER |" says the General, brushing of .
small bit of Ice that had adhered to his nose,
/" theIl be drinking it next" A19 .7uaz
Captain Samule Sa-mith was ordered to COM
mand the advance but when he heerd that the
Southern Confederscy had two swivels :over
there, he was suddenly taken very sick, and cul.
tivatsd his bed clothes. 5 ta 81
When the news of the serious illness of the
valiant officer got abroad, my boy, there was
an immediate rush of free and enterprising
civilian chaps to his bedside. ral
One chap who was an uncombed reported for
q discriminating and affectionate daily press,
took me aside, and says he:
"Our paper has the largest circulation, and
is the best advertising medium in the United
States. As soon as our brother.in.arms ex
pires,n says the useful chap, feelingy, "just fll
up this printed form and send it to me, and
will mention you in our paper as . promising
young man."
to fll..up. and found it to read thus:
:. BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH OF THE LATE
"This noble and famous officer, recently slain
at the head of bis - Il put the "bed I" in
this blank, my boy), was born at -, on the
- day Of -, 1776, and entered West
Point in his year. He won immortal fame
by his conduct in the Mexican campaign, and
was created brigadier general on the - Of
-, 1862"
These printed forms suit the case of any sol.
der, my boy; but didn't entirely fill this one
up.
samyule was conversing with the chaplain
about his Federal son when tall, shabby chap
made a dash for the bedside, and says he ia
Samule: @ -a# ts@
"Pm agent for the great American publish
ing house Of Rushem & jerks, and desire to
know if you have anything that could be issued
in book form after your lamented departure -
We could make handsome l2mo. book" says
the shabby chap, persuadingly, "of your itera
~ remains. Works of Union Martyr--Elo
quent Writings of Hero-Should be in every
American Librsry-Take it home to your wife
Twenty editions ordered in advance of pub
lication-Halfcalf, one dollar.--Send in your
orders" i5'- fats Sal -..aasg..4j
Samyule looked thoughtfully at the publish
ing chap, and says he: 5a soy
II never wrote anything in my life."
"Oh!" says the shabby chap, pleasantly, ANY
thing will do-your early poems in the weekly
journals-anything" fr.5r, .a,i.,.s,
But" says samyule, regretfully, II neve,
wrote line to . newspaper in my life." ,a ~.
'Whatl" says the publishing chap, almost in
q shriek-"never wrote line to newspaper:
Gentlemen" says the chap, locking towards US
suspiciously, ''this man can't be an American.
And he departed hastily. ..aa ~ =. y.
Believing, my boy, that there would be nc
more Interruptions, samyule went on dying; but
| was called from his bedside by q long.haired
chap from New York. Says the chap to me:
my name is Brown-Brown's Patent Hair.
Dye, IS cents . bottle. OF course" Gays the
hirsute chsp, affably, 80 monument will be
erected 70 the memory of our hero. An Italian
marble shaft, standing on pedestal Of four pan
els. Now" says the hairy chap, insinuatingly,
Il will give ten thousand dollars TO have my
advertisement put on the panel next to the name
Of the lamented deceased. We can get up
something neat and appropriate, thus:
ooooooooo0oooooN - '4