The Grand Haven news. [volume] (Grand Haven, Mich.) 1858-18??, 1862-04-16
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.
The stocks most in demand in Dixie.
Gun stocks.

probably soon be so too.
A FALSE friend and o shadow attend
only when the sun shines.
WHEN a lover dotes on his darling, a
refusal acts as an anti-dote.
FANNY Fern leaving her husband is an
other edition of Fern Leaves"
THE man whose voice was "still for
war;" has kept still ever since the war
commenced
WE are never satisfied that lady un-
derstands a kiss unless we have it from
her own mouth.
SOMEBODY defines character ms the on
! ly personal property which everybody
looks after for you.
TEARS at a wedding are only the com
mencement of the pickle that the young
folks are getting into.
LOVE me, love my dog" is old and
exploded "Love me, love my milincr," !"
is the modern version.
IT is no misfortune for nice young la
dy to lose her good name if nice young
man gives her better.
A CoRKoaIAN, on being asked at break
fast how he came by that black eve"
said he " slept on his fist"
NEVER purchase love or friendship by
gifts; when thus obtained, they are lost
as soon as you stop payment.
IT is said that the horns of dilemma
are securely fixed at the capital for the
senators to hang themselves on.
A MAN excused himself for marrying,
by saying that his friends declared he
drank too much tor single man.
JEFF. Davis processes TO see strong
sign of the success of the Southern Con
federacy. Ay, but we will teach him the
counter-sign.
WoMAY-the morning star of our
youth; the day star of our manhood
the evening star of old age. Heaven
bless our stars
Mrs. Swisshelm, of the Pittsburg Vis-
itor, says that if husbands wish their
children to look like them they shouldn't
90 to California.
THE editor of a down-east paper talks
about his frame of mind. A cotempora-
ry suggests that he may have the frame
of one, but that is all.
AT an infant school examination, few
days ago, the examiner asked, "what fish
eat the little ones!" 1.-THE big 'uns," "
shouted a little urchin.
WILLIAM Brown, of the Mackeral brig
ade, N. Y. V. NJ, writes from Manassas :
1--WE have met the enemy, and they are
hours-ahead of u.s."
THE editor of the Brighton Reporter,
speaking of Lyceum entertainment, SAYS
the hall was lighted by the smiles of
fair women and kerosene lamps"
We can tell the rebel beauties of Nash
vile that making up uupretty mouths at
the gallant Federal officers is no way to
win kisses-whatever the intention may
be.
A PRINTER whose talents were but in
ferior turned physician. He said, "In
printing, all faults are exposed to the eye,
but in physic they are buried with the
patient, and one gets of more easily"
"PA, what is the interest of kiss p
asked sweet sixteen of her sire. "Well,
really, | don't know. Why do you ask ~
Because John borrowed kiss of me,
last night, and said he'd pay it back with
interest after VIC were married"
DEEPLY were we affected on reading,
the other day, of young lady, who, be-
ing told that her lover had been suddenly
killed, exclaimed, "Ohl that splendid
gold watch of his-give me that-give
me something to remember him by|-
Touching simplicity.
"YoUR FARE, MISS. "A young lady
from the rural district OF Hoosierdom,
lately visited Chicago. Getting into a
city railroad car for the first time, she took
a seat, while her lover planted himself on
the platform with the driver. Pretty
soon the conductor began to collect fare,
and approaching the rustic maiden, he
said:
Your fare, MissW
The Hoosier rosebud allowed delicate
pink to manifest itself on her cheeks, and
looked down in soft confusion. The con-
ductor was rather astonshed at this, but
ventured to remark once more:
Your fare, Miss"
This time the pink deepened to carna-
tion as the rustic beauty replied:
"Wall, if | am good lookin', you had
MT ought ter say it out loud afore folks !"
The passengers in the car roared with
laughter, and the lover coming in to see
what was going on, at once settled the
fare.